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Howard started off the show saying he was up at 3 o'clock this morning and that he blamed it on Beth. He said he felt her move in bed so he blamed her for the whole thing. He said that he never even really calls her Beth and claimed that he calls her Artie instead.
Artie apparently had a mini-breakdown this morning so Howard asked him about that. He didn't have any Hawaiian punch in their kitchen so he ran upstairs to the kitchen up there and found it. He said the kitchen up there is bigger and is always stocked with stuff. He said he's suffering through a water right now because he couldn't get up there before the show. Howard said he could make a quick dash up there right now if he needs to.
Artie said he was eating a toasted bagel and had to wash it down with water instead of juice. Artie ate the bagel and told Jason that maybe one of the interns should run up and get the Hawaiian Punch with lots of ice. Artie was chewing the bagel on mic so Howard told him he was going to turn it off while he did that. Artie said he was doing that as a joke and he was done.
Artie told Howard that he's depressed because of the NY Giants loss yesterday. He went down to a sports bar to watch the game and got depressed after they lost. Howard asked Artie about the games and why they do certain things toward the end of the game. He said that if a team is in field goal range, they should just kick the ball. Artie said there are a lot of theories as to why they don't do that but no one is sure why it doesn't happen.
Howard and the guys also talked about the Jets game. Howard said he watched both the Jets and the Giants so he had a very manly day yesterday. Artie was saying that the Eagles were really good yesterday and he's willing to admit that. He said that the Giants were just playing a better team yesterday. Howard said that if the Giants had won yesterday, they probably would have lost the next week anyway.
Artie said that he loves how the Cowboys lost their game and he's still happy about that. He said the place he went to watch the game was filled with hot chicks. Howard took a call from a woman who talked a little bit about th Eagles game. They talked about this quarterback Garcia and how well he did. Artie said he hopes that the rumors about the guy are true and that they get to the Super Bowl with some fruit. The guys made sure to say that they said that the guy isn't gay and he's been seen dating hot chicks after that.
Howard and Artie talked about one of the coaches and talked about how goofy the guy looked with his moustache. Ralph called in a short time later and said that the moustache look is really a white trash look in his opinion. Howard talked about the moustache he had back when he was starting out and how goofy he looked. He said that a woman doesn't like that and can't possibly enjoy it. He said that his moustache was just disgusting and smelly. Gary used to have a moustache too and Ralph said that he looked like Borat with it. Artie used to have one and Ralph said he thought he kind of looked good with it.
Howard said he watched Artie's David Letterman appearance and said that when Dave held up the DVD cover, he looked so much different. He looked huge on Letterman. Howard said he looks smaller in person. Artie said he wore a turtleneck on Letterman and that was a huge mistake. It was the only clean shirt he had though.
Howard said Ralph wanted to have a business meeting with him but he won't be doing that. He goofed on Ralph a little bit about that. Then he talked about how he was watching Battlestar Galictica's second season and the Jets-Giants game in HD. He said he broke that up with a chess game that took 2 hours. He said he was about to check mate the guy when he backed out of the game and said he had to go. He said that was really gay of the guy to pull something like that. He said that he could report the guy so he would have to forfeit the game to him though.
Howard said he started that chess game at 6 in the morning yesterday. Artie said that is so foreign to him, he can't imagine getting up that early on a Sunday morning. Howard said he ended up calling Ralph later in the morning and had this ''business meeting'' with him on the phone instead of in person. He didn't want to stare at his face during that meeting.
Robin asked Howard if those questions are something he could have asked at some other time. Howard said they've been having those discussions for 20 years. He said Ralph just wanted to make it official. Ralph said that if he can get the new episodes of Battlestar Galictica before they're released on DVD, he'll stop bothering him with those problems. Howard said he'd see what he could do. Howard said Beth has been wondering what he's up to with the Battlestar Galictica stuff.
Artie said that the poker game was at some Portuguese restaurant in Newark. He said he won $12,500 playing on that game. There were a few tables there and he was doing pretty good. He said that was nice and a beautiful thing. He was still bummed out by the Giants loss though.
Artie said that Saturday was a lost day for him. He ended up at a diner that night and went home and then slept until noon. He came back and his door man told him he had a couple of packages. He had some business stuff going on and one of the things was that FOX wants him to do an animated series. He said that would be perfect for him because he would just have to read his lines and go home. He said he only read his own part so he's not sure what the rest of the show is about.
Howard said that he's gotten some scripts but he can't read them because he's got Battlestar Galictica to watch. He said he just doesn't have time to read the script and the guy must think he hates it even though he hasn't read it. Artie said that the only kind of reading that makes you dumber is reading Sitcom scripts.
Howard said he had a balanced weekend because he banged Beth. He said they went out one night and he got all boned up while they were out. He said she looked really good and when they got home, he asked her to wear her mini-skirt and her high heels for him. She thought that was ridiculous but he told her what he wanted to do to her in that mini-skirt. She turned down two of the four things he told her he wanted to do.
Howard asked Gary to get Beth on the phone so he could ask her if he could talk about this stuff. That led to Ralph asking if it was a tossing the salad thing. Then they brought up Robin talking about how she has had her salad tossed in the past. Robin said that Mr. X has done that and other guys have as well.
Artie said that one time he and Dana were going to a movie one time when he kind of got worked up over what she was wearing. He said they ended up going back to his apartment instead of going to the movie.
Beth was on the phone so Howard picked that up. She said that she was drying Bianca off while that was going on. Howard told Beth about what they were talking about in the car the other night when she turned him down on some of the things he brought up. Beth wondered why he even brought it up. Howard said that there were a couple of things that didn't go down and wanted to know if she was okay with him talking about it. He didn't want to fuck up their relationship by talking about it.
Beth seemed to be okay with it as long as they knew that it's what she didn't do. Howard went on to explain how he wanted to bend her over the table in his dressing room at the apartment. He said he wanted her to keep her heels on but she wanted to take them off. Then he said that he wanted to lick her from behind. She didn't want to do that. She just wanted him to do her from behind instead. Ralph told him he should have just gone for it. Howard said that doesn't work with her.
Beth told everyone about how she got in trouble for waking Howard up last night just because she rolled over in bed. Howard had already told that story. He got back to the sex story and told the guys how maybe Beth didn't want his big nose back there if he had gone in to lick her. He said it is almost the size of a penis so maybe she didn't want it in there.
The guys asked Robin when she had her salad tossed. She wasn't talking and said that it doesn't happen all the time. Howard told Beth that she should be prepared tonight because he's going to places he's never gone before.
Tim came in and said that he doesn't have Artie's number. Artie thanked him for the gift but he just wasn't able to use them. Tim said that the tickets weren't printed up until the last minute. Artie said he was going to take the hit for that whole thing since he didn't get to those packages.
Artie said that Tim Sabean went to Letterman with him last week and they had all kinds of food back stage. They were both eating a bunch of it. That led to Howard asking what the guys wanted to eat on this plane trip they're taking to Florida. Fred was up first so he asked for some grilled chicken and strawberries. Robin asked for grilled vegetables. Artie said he'd like some cold cuts and some bread. He was up for just about anything.
Gary came in and said he'd have some shrimp just to entertain the guys on the flight. Beth is in charge of the catering so that's why they were going over the menu. Howard asked Benjy what he wanted to eat on the flight. Benjy said he'd pick up anything that fell on the floor. Then he said he'd take any vegetables raw. He said that any healthy bread and some meats for his girlfriend. He said she loves steak too but he told Beth she doesn't have to do that.
Artie said that he and Tim looked like quite a team over at Letterman and he wondered if they had their picture taken. He said they looked like they were shoved into their seats there because they're both so fat. Tim Sabean said that he just wanted a grilled chicken salad for the flight down. He said that he hates mayonnaise while talking about that. Then Gary came in and said that Tim is a liar and he loves to eat that kind crap from Del Fresco.
Gary asked Howard and Robin what they're going to be doing for gifts for Bubba. They had already talked about it a while ago but he wasn't sure what that was all about. Gary said that Bubba has a web site where everyone could RSVP. He said he wasn't able to get into the site but they have their whole registry there. They have directions to the wedding and stuff like that in there as well. Howard wanted to go on the site and let the whole audience in there to see what's going on.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why that Berry Faced Faggot has to call people white trash and shit. He was referring to the discussion about the coach with the bad moustache. The guy was kind of upset with him over that and goofed on Ralph for a short time before Howard hung up on him.
Ralph said he had the name of Bubba's web site and wondered if he should give it out. Howard told him not to give it out. A few seconds later he had it up on his screen. He was checking out the cartoon pictures of Bubba and Heather. Howard asked Beth if she wanted to go out to the strip club with the guys when they're down there.
Artie asked for any suit stores down in Tampa to send him a suit if they wanted to. Beth then volunteered to go out and get him a suit today but he really didn't want her doing that. Howard got back to the Bubba web site and read some of they stuff they have on there. They had a whole write-up about how they met and what great parents they are. Howard read that stuff but there weren't a lot of details there.
Howard read the list of the guys who are going to be in the wedding party. He had 4 best men for the wedding and Howard was thinking of calling him to tell him that he's got no spine if he has to have four best men.
Howard said that he's going to bring a bathing suit with him down there because the weather has been in the 80s. Artie said that what he and Beth are doing is really nice. They're all flying down and getting hotel rooms courtesy of Howard. Beth said that they'll all be getting their packets with their information today.
Robin asked to see their registry information. They are registered at Macy's and Williams Sonoma so Beth thought that maybe they should buy something from the registry. Howard looked at some of the stuff on the list and there were aluminum covered pans that he was checking out. He figured that Heather must like to bake cakes and stuff. Artie said that he loves cake...
Brent Hatley, one of Bubba's four best men, called in so Howard said that maybe Brent can hang by the pool when they go down. Brent said that they're going to be working on Friday so maybe they should all stop by and have a few drinks before they go out to eat. Artie will be there without a woman so Howard asked him if he's going to be drinking heavily because he'll be depressed. Artie said he's going to try and pace himself and won't be all depressed.
Howard asked Brent what's going on with Bubba's 4 best men. Brent didn't want to be in the middle of that and said that he'll push Hulk Hogan right up to the front of that whole thing. He also said that they're going to have tons of camera crews there. They have the Howard TV camera crews, Bubba's cameras and Hulk Hogan's camera crew there.
Howard said he was up at K-Rock one day after doing his show. The Real World cameras were there shooting the cast of Real World up there and it was the gayest thing ever. They cover every second of them and it's really gay. He said they started to put the camera on him but he made sure they didn't get him.
Brent said that the wedding isn't until like 7 o'clock on Saturday so they have plenty of time to hang out that day. Artie said he's been to The Dollhouse down there and it's a great strip club. Robin won't be going because she'll be there with her nephew. She said he's not going to that club even if he is old enough to go. Artie wants to bring him there as well so he can get his 20 year old pipes cleaned.
Howard asked Beth if she wants to go to the club. She seemed to be up for it. He said he likes it when she's surrounded by strippers. Beth asked if Ralph was all set up for going down. Ralph said he had his flight and he'll be staying with his mom while he's down there. Robin said that she has an extra room if he wants that. Ralph took her up on that offer.
Artie said he was kind of upset with Robin for planning her nephew's trip down there. He said the kid might want to have some fun. Robin said that it's not up to him to show him how to have fun. Howard agreed with Robin and said that he could never recover from something like that. Artie didn't think that was the case but Howard told him that the kid needs to concentrate on rockets, not on strippers.
Robin said that she and her nephew are going to be hanging out with astronauts down there while the guys are at the strip club. Beth said she might go with them instead of the strip club but Howard said she'd going to be with him the whole time. He had to go to break a short time later.
Gary read that they outsold XM 3-1 in the last quarter of 2006. They also went from having only 26 percent of the market share to 44 percent in only 2 years. That led to Howard talking about how the New York Times interviewed him the other day and they were impressed with those numbers that he showed them.
Howard said that he had printed out a really long article about all of that stuff and tried to find it. He got a little distracted when he saw an article about Carrie Underwood is dating Tony Romo from the Cowboys. That made him sick.
Howard found the article he was talking about (A year after getting Sirius, Stern's entertaining as ever) and read through that a little bit. He said it was too long to read the whole thing. He also mentioned that David Hinkley wrote up some nice stuff about him as well. He told the guys to link the story from his web site so people could read it.
Sal said that Eric is really tiny and he has this weird chest thing going on. He said it's almost like a turkey with a big head on it. Sal said that Eric called him over at one point and said that they had a problem. Then he said that he wasn't two foot three in the song he sang about him. Sal said the guy is a sweet little guy and when you shake his hand it's like shaking a dog's paw or something. They said that he was great to hang out with.
Sal told Howard that the bouncers had to bring his chair up on stage first while some guy held him like a baby. There was no ramp to get his wheelchair up there. The crowd was chanting his name as he was being brought up there. Howard wondered if he could get laid. Sal and Richard didn't seem to think that would happen.
Eric the Midget called in and said that they were ripping him after he was so nice to them. Eric was complaining about the comments they were making and said that he's 3' 5'' tall and the comments about him being shorter is just wrong. Sal said that he's that tall when he's in his wheelchair.
Eric said that the morons who are listening to the show will think that he's really only two foot three because of Sal's song. No one was sure why he was so worried about that. Eric said that the cut off for a little person is 4'10'' tall. Howard said that they were saying only nice things about him though.
Eric got to go to a tittie club with them. Howard asked him if he beat off when he got home. Eric said he didn't but Howard didn't believe him. Howard asked him how many times a day he beats off. Eric wasn't talking so Howard figures it has to be two times a day. Sal told him to tell the story about how he beat off to some woman with big boobs who came over one time. He said that this chick let him feel her up one time and that's when he did that.
Richard asked how he works out the tissue thing. Eric said he gets set up before he rolls over. Sal did his impression of Eric rolling over to the tissues while Fred was playing the power wheelchair sound effects. Howard said that if he ever does see Brook Hogan, he will let her know that he said hello like he asked them to do.
Artie said that it looks like Sal is wearing a lot of make up in the picture they took at the comedy show. Howard said that it looks like Eric dyes his hair but Eric claims that he doesn't. Then they noticed that he looks kind of like Jackie the Joke Man.
Howard asked Richard if he's really wearing the same shirt that he was wearing on Saturday night at the comedy show. Sal said that Richard wore the same clothes for 3 days. He didn't bring a change of clothes to California. Richard said that he was in a rush to get there today so he just grabbed the same shirt he wore over the weekend. Richard didn't take a shower over the weekend either. Richard said he didn't do that because he didn't sweat.
Then they fond out that Richard doesn't wash his jeans because he spent so much money on them. He doesn't want to have them stolen at the Laundromat. Howard said that Will shit his pant the other day when he though he just had to fart. Will said that he made a mess in his pants and had to clean up in the bathroom. He said his boxers caught most of it but he it was quite a mess. He brought the underwear home with him.
Howard got back to Richard and wondered how he can keep wearing that shit for so long. Howard heard that he brings a candle with him to the hotel room to cover up the stink. He said that Richard is like some guy who lives in the 1800s or something.
Eric said that it was fun hanging with those guys but not fun hearing them talking about him the way they were. They pointed out his turkey breast physique and things like that. Howard said that he looks like a chicken himself and everyone else has their own odd looks. Sal and Richard said that everyone there loved him. Eric said it did feel good when he was up on the stage with everyone chanting his name. Howard had Eric talk a little bit while Fred was playing his buzzer sound effect for Eric's ''Ehh'' sounds. Eric told Howard that people love to hear Johnny Fratto on the show and it sucks when they rush him off all the time. Eric wished Howard a Happy Birthday a little early as Howard let him go.
Lisa G got back to her news preview and said they'll have a story about Beth and an article she's going to be featured in. They will also have a story about chuck Zito possibly dating Pam Anderson. Chuck's show will be on Howard 101 tonight at 7pm.
Shatner kept going and said that he was going to keep delivering the lines the way the guy had told him to. The guy said he felt wrong by even saying anything to him. Shatner really jerked the guy around for a couple of minutes.
Howard said that Shatner does have a point in a way but he sure dragged it out and was being a real dick to him. Howard goofed on the guy as well and said that it is kind of funny how he asked him to deliver it a certain way. Howard thought Shatner's first delivery was fine and natural. Howard thought the whole tape was pretty good.
Howard said that her wish was to be a guest at the studio so he let her come in. He was hoping that she'd scream and yell when she came in. He said she should have seized this opportunity when she was like 20, not when she's 40.
Susan told Howard that she was a mess when she was in her 20s so she actually looks better now at 40. She used to weigh 265 pounds. Artie said that he last weighed 287 so he's just a little bigger than she was back then. Howard read some of her letter and she's Italian and claims to be attracted to black guys than white. She's got no friends and won't be doing anything special on her birthday so she wanted to come in and meet him on that day. There she was, in the studio.
Howard said she wasn't so interesting as a guest on the radio but he said he would take a picture with her. Gary was saying that she was insinuating that she can only get black guys because they're the only ones attracted to her body type. She said she's had about 7 guys in her life and they've been mostly black. She's had about 3 white guys.
Susan said the black guys like bigger women so that's how she was able to get guys even when she was 265 pounds. She also told Howard that he shouldn't have such a hang up about anal. She said that there's always a chance that there will be some residue back there. She said she's had that problem and it's really not a big deal. Howard said he had residue when he did a chick anally one time.
Howard asked Susan about the guy who did her in the ass and if he was black. He did his black impression and asked her if he sounded like that. She said he was very educated and didn't sound like that at all. She also told Howard that if a woman sticks something up his ass, it's not gay. She said that she's put a dildo up a guy's ass and it's not gay if a woman is doing it. Howard said that is gay but she really didn't think it was.
Susan said that a guy can have a great orgasm if he's stimulated back there. Howard said he doesn't want anything going in there. Artie said it sure feels good when something is leaving that area though. He loves taking a shit. Howard said he has had a little bit of a pinkie in back there but that's it.
Howard told Susan that she's lucky she wasn't the victim of a drive-by after doing something with a dildo on a black guy. He asked her about the guy doing anal and what happened when he pulled out. She said there was a little residue back there but it wasn't that bad. Howard asked her how she knew. She said that he got up and saw stuff on there so she got embarrassed and apologized for it.
Susan said that sex is messy, it's just a part of life. Howard said it's not messy the way he does it. He was doing his black voice and saying that he could see that she had been eating corn and joking around about that stuff. Howard also pointed out that she had some peppers, corn and peanuts as well. They had some fun goofing on her about that stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about this woman's vagina possibly being loose and that's why guys like to give her anal. She said she's not loose down there so his theory was wrong. They spent a short time on that and then another caller said that she's bullshitting about the dildo thing. He said that she's slandering the black man by saying that.
Howard said he had a woman when he was single and she took his wiener and shoved it in her butt and it was kind of great. He said she was a famous chick too and she did it without missing a beat. He said there was no residue back there either. He said that may have been what made her famous... and she was married at the time. She was famous and married. Artie said someone has to get Howard extra loaded at Bubba's wedding so he can find out who this chick was.
Howard said he saw this chick many times and she told him that he was very special. He wouldn't say who this chick was though. The guys joked that it was Penny Crone. Howard said her husband wasn't famous and he probably didn't know that they were messing around. He did see him out at an event one time and it was kind of uncomfortable. He said he would never do something like that again.
Artie and Howard talked about the pinkie up the ass thing. Howard said he tends to clench up when that happens. Artie said he's never had that happen so he wouldn't know about that. Artie said that he's really horrified about something like that because he doesn't even like to be naked. He said that he's always self-conscious around chicks when he's naked.
Howard said that women tell him that Artie is a good looking guy when he's thin. He said he really is good looking when he has a jaw line.
Howard thanked Susan for coming in and asked her if she wanted to stick her finger in his ass. Howard told Will to escort her out a short time later. He thanked her for coming in and let her go a short time later.
Artie said that woman is just a year older than him and he's probably been a fan of Howard's show for just as long as her. Howard couldn't get over the anal story and the remnants that she left on the guy. He can't imagine going back in there after coming out with something on there. Artie said that God had the right combo when he came up with the penis in the vagina... That's the best according to Artie.
Howard wondered who gets in trouble for that, the guy who left the mic on or the guy who cursed. Artie said that the guy who said ''fuck'' is always the guy who takes the fall. Howard said that's just not right though.
Artie said that he just had the weirdest phenomenon happen to him. He said that about 14 years ago he knew this comedian and thought he was kind of talented. He said he lost track of him for a while and wondered what had happened to him over the years. He just glanced down at the paper and saw that he's the voice of Sponge Bob Square Pants. He's got to be worth a billion dollars now. He said that it's this guy Tom Kenny who he knew back then.
Artie said he's pretty sure the guy is making millions from that job and he had thought that he had dropped out of show business. Howard didn't think there was that much money in that but according to the article, he was making millions. Artie was happy for the guy and glad he had made it. The guys talked about the Sponge Bob character and Howard did some impressions of that.
Howard said that they had the Napier brothers there. They've been on the show before but today they brought in a chick that they claim is the hottest chick he'll ever see. He went to break right after that so they could get them in there.
In the call Blue calls a guy by the name of Fonzie and asks to get into his band. She sang for him and asked him to do some stuff to her but he was ready to hang up on her and did just that a short time later.
Howard said he likes that they have to come up with those lines for her. He still didn't think the call was all that good but Gary found it hysterical. Artie said it wasn't one of her stronger calls so he probably would have cut that one himself. Howard said there were a couple of guys who were behind that call so that's why he played it. Artie said that her calls are usually very strong and that one just didn't cut it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard once tried out for a cartoon voice where he was going to play the voice of a dog. Howard said that was a cartoon he was producing that never made it. Another caller asked Howard about doing a movie where he'd have to play a serious role. Howard said he wants to do a comedy but if he got the right part, he might do it.
Howard said that if little kids can play serious parts, he can do it too. Robin thought that he wouldn't be able to play the part of an 18th century guy or something like Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean. Howard figures he could do it. Artie added that if you're in a costume, it helps you get into the roll better.
Howard said that this chick Christina was claiming she was a perfect 10 but he said she's not model hot. He said for a normal chick was very hot though. He asked the guys how they found her. The guys said that she got in touch with them. Howard asked if they had sex with her. Christina answered for them and said that she didn't sleep with them. She's 22 years old and Howard told her not to get any older than that.
Howard wanted to know how Christina met these guys. One of the guys said that she was his bitch. She said that she doesn't do black guys so he figured he was lying. Howard asked her if she's sleeping with him or not. She said she wasn't. Then Howard asked either Mike or Terrence if he was lying and to swear on the life of his mother. He wouldn't do that. He said that they told her what to say and prepared her for the show. They said that she was told she might ruin her career if she said she banged a black guy so that's why they told her not to admit it.
Christina eventually admitted that she is dating the guy so the Napiers were telling the truth. Howard asked what kind of wild stuff they've done. She said that they did it in a movie theater one time. The guys were telling Howard that they don't find black chicks that hot. They said that they're mostly fat chicks.
Howard asked how Christina felt when these guys said that they were only fucking her so they could get hot white chicks. She didn't seem to care much. That led to the guys talking about how they're angry at the white man so that's another reason they bang the white chicks.
Christina didn't mind the way the guys were talking about her. She was laughing as they were talking about that stuff. Howard asked the guys how they had sex in the movie theater. She said she wears underwear so she just bent over and let him pull her underwear to the side.
Howard read notes about Christina and found that she finds herself to be a 10 and that she's been told that she looks like Demi Moore. Howard asked these guys how much money they make and they claimed that they're doing just fine. They said that they sell these chicks to magazines and stuff and that's how they make money. They don't keep them around for long and just get rid of them.
Howard figured they were managing this chick. The guy who is dating her said that he's done with her after this because he doesn't need her anymore. Howard asked her to get naked since that's what the guys claimed she was all about. She started to leave as if she was going to get changed but Howard told her to stay there and just strip down.
Fred played a drum roll and then she pulled out her boobs. Howard was surprised they were real. Howard said she did have a great body and told the guy who's dating her that he's doing good for himself. Gary pointed out she had a little bit of a happy trail going on there. He said it works on her.
Howard said that she may just be perfect like these guys claimed. Artie went over and felt her up to see if her boobs were real and he said they were real alright. Howard told the guys they did bring in a fine bitch here. He said that she has a DVD out called Exotica that the guys produced. They have a few other girls on the DVD as well.
Howard had Christina ride the Sybian. They quickly stuck her on there and had Gary pump up the power slowly until she started to feel something. Christina said she wasn't sure if she could get off on that thing or not. Gary jacked up the power a little more and kept going up trying to get her to feel something. She was laughing and said it was too much for her. She didn't think she could get off on it so Howard told her to take it down.
Howard said that the Sybian isn't working for people lately. He took a call from a guy who said that these guys were no good so the Napiers told him to get off the phone. The guy said that these guys have never done anything good. Some other guys called in to complain about their appearance. They cursed them all out. One guy told Howard to get them off the show.
Howard took a call from Hook Nose Mike who told Christina to get away from these guys. He said that they're very pompous and she should just get out. She doesn't need these assholes to help her out if she's that hot. Howard told Christina that she is hot and then took a call from Seven who said that he bangs white bitches as well. Sal came in and told the guys that they're going to keep him in business forever with their thoughts on all of this stuff. Howard gave Christina a plug for her DVD and said you can get it at 8BallModels.com.
Howard told the Napier brothers to keep in touch and let him know what they're up to. Artie sarcastically said that would be great and they really should keep in touch. Howard asked Christina if she would dump these guys fro the show. She said that's a possibility. The Napiers said that they would send her up anytime and would let her go if they wanted her.
Howard spent a few more minutes with the guys asking them about how they make money. They were saying that they handle women like this and that led to Artie saying that this chick could bring in like $7500 if she was a whore out in Vegas. Artie said that would be just to fuck her. The Napiers said that there are guys who would be willing to pay $2500 just to put a dildo into her.
Howard asked Christina where her parents are. She said they don't know what she does. She left home when she was 18 years old and doesn't tell them what she does. She said they thinks he does promotional stuff but don't know exactly what it is. Howard wrapped up with the guys and went to break a short time later.
Artie said that Sal pulled a trick on him and used an exploding pen on him out in the hall. He said that Christina was the chick who wanted him to sign the paper and he didn't care that it exploded, he was mesmerized by that chick.
Howard heard that Sal and Richard went on a tour of some gay clubs out in San Francisco. He said he doesn't understand that. Richard came in and said they were out there and were kind of curious about the club scene out there. Howard said that they can go anywhere out there and it would never occur to him to go on a gay bar tour. Richard said it's funny, that's why they did it.
Sal said that's the culture out there and they wanted to see how guys act at the gay bars. He said they saw one guy there who was in the military and sneaking in some cock. Richard said they were dancing on a bar and stuff like that out there. Artie said he thinks that these guys are gay and Sal would bang Richard if he would just shower.
Howard asked who wrote this announcement that he had on his desk. Benjy had passed him a note about something going on in the city. Howard didn't want to cause a scare so he kept it quiet until they got confirmation. Howard got back to Sal and Richard and said that he just doesn't get them and why they do this gay shit.
Rev. Bob Levy called in and said that they really do act gay and they went sight seeing out there when they were in San Francisco. Howard said that he just went into his bathroom earlier and found that there was a gas odor in his bathroom and there's a really bad gas smell out in the whole city. The smell is all over the building and they're now worried that there's something weird going on.
Howard was ready to leave with the rest of the guys as well. That was the story that Benjy had passed along to them earlier. The story is on the news stations there. Gary heard that Penny Crone is already outside of the building so Howard was ready to get the hell out of there as well. Howard said he'd stay until noon but he was out of there at 9:29am...
Gary said that he probably would have died on 9/11 if he had done what he wanted to do back then. Howard was getting reports from 1010 WINS that the source wasn't clear. Doug Goodstein came in and said that there's a huge fuel spill down by the In Demand offices downtown. There's some kind of fuel spill down in that area.
Gary said that no one is covering it and they're checking all of the news channels and there's not one report on there. They flipped through all of the news channels and found nothing. Tim Sabean came in a short time later and said that they have a news conference coming up soon on FOX news so they'll get that on. Robin read a report but it had no new details.
Ronnie came in and said that he heard there's nothing to worry about but that means nothing. Howard took a call from a guy who told them to get the fuck out of there. Robin said she asked Jon Hein what he was going to do with the Wrap Up Show but even he didn't know.
Gary came back in and said that there's a gas leak in Jersey City and it can be smelled all the way over in the city. They're looking into it right now and they've suspended subway service in Jersey City. Howard took some other calls and people were saying that there are news reports coming up.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to talk about his wife sticking her finger up his ass. Howard took a call from Shuli who said that both Sal and Penny were out there freaking out. Penny got on the phone and told Howard to get out of the studios. Howard tuned into a news cast on a local TV channel and when they brought up how far it was spreading, Howard said that was enough for him and he was ready to leave.
Howard joked that he has a bunker in his apartment that he can go to. Steve Langford came in and said that they have a report from the news wire but they had already read it. It wasn't clear where the smell was actually coming from. Steve said that they have evacuated some buildings in the city.
Artie called in and said he didn't know they were going back on the air. He said that he and Scott DePace are having a cheese steak out at a deli. Artie said that people are in a panic. Howard said he was going to leave but he was just standing in the hall doing nothing. Artie said he would come back but Howard told him not to bother.
Artie said that DePace was freaking out so he left with him. Robin goofed on Scott saying that he's the one who believes in President Bush so he should feel safe. Another woman called in and told them to get the fuck out of the building. Another guy said they were all pussies if they leave. That guy said they're better off inside than out but no one knew for sure.
Howard said that they have no way to get out of there because they're on the 30-something floor of their building. Howard said that he's better off on the street. Dominic Barbara called in and said that he can smell it downtown and they really should leave the building. Howard said he was ready to go again and took some more calls from people who told him to just get the hell out of the building. Howard said he's such a workaholic that he didn't want to leave, but they did a show until almost 10 o'clock.
Robin said that if someone was trying to kill them, they'd probably make a gas that had no smell. Tim Sabean came in and said that there is no threat, it's just a smell. The smell is worse outside than inside so maybe they should stay. Howard said he didn't want to be on the 36th floor when he has to scramble.
Howard said that there are people passing out in Times Square according to this caller. Gary came running into the studio and said that's their building on FOX TV. Howard saw that and said that it was time to get out of there. The guys told Robin that she should get on the Sybian and ride it before they all die.
Shuli came in and said that Penny Crone was down smoking 3 Newports as they were out in the gas smell downstairs. Howard said he was getting a headache from this and wanted to get going. He told Tim he was going to end the show.
Robin wanted to do some news stories but Howard figured they'd done enough of a show. Then he turned on the news report and was about to leave. Then Artie called back in and said that the gay channel is still on so maybe he should come back. Howard said he has no idea what to do. Scott Depace didn't know what to do and they were just sitting there in the car. Artie said that it's funny how Howard can't abandon his own show.
Artie said that the pretzel guy outside the Lincoln Tunnel is closing up. He said he might be Al Qaeda. Howard let him go and turned on the local news report. Howard said that Captain Janks should be calling in saying that this smell is from Howard Stern's ass.
Gary said that Sal is still using his exploding pen trick while there's the smell of gas there in the city. Howard said they should be able to go without worrying about it. Howard took anther call from a guy who said that The Today Show is still on the air and they're right near them. Gary heard that Macy's had just been evacuated so maybe they should just go.
Howard tuned in and out of the local news and still didn't know what to do. Another guy told him not to be a pussy and to just stay there. Howard said he's no pussy, he wants to go out and kick some terrorist ass. Ronnie came back and said that people are running out of the building so scared that maybe they should get out. Howard said that they should leave.
Gary read a news report where they say that there are building evacuating all over the city. The caller was still telling Howard that he had to stick around and he was a pussy if he didn't. The guy was also calling Artie a pussy for leaving and not coming back. Tim said that Artie is actually heading back toward the gas smell.
Bobo called in and said that this could be a terrorist attack so he really should get out of there. Howard let him go and asked Steve Langford what he should do. Steve said it's probably time to get out. He'll be sticking around though. Howard blasted a fart into the mic in honor of this gas smell that was going on.
Howard wrapped up the show and said that they'll be back tomorrow. He was about to leave but Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told them to leave and always go by their first instinct and just get out of there. Howard took another call from a guy who said that this was the best show since 9/11 and they should stay there and keep doing the show.
Tim Sabean said he got a report that the subways were running normally. Then a caller said that the cops are working on it and if they stay in the building, they should be fine. Howard said he was going to say goodbye to Robin just in case he does die. Robin told him it should be okay if he leaves, he is the biggest asset they have there at SIRIUS. She said that if the gay channel sticks around and gets lost, it's not going to hurt SIRIUS as much. Howard then ended the show for the second time this morning, right around 10:10am.
The guys were all talking about who ran out and left. Howard was walking past the studio as they were doing the show and Steve Langford was apparently sticking a mic in his face.
Jon said he got a news report about a possible gas leak downtown so that must be where the smell is coming from. Jon took a call from a guy who said that it was great they stayed on air while all of the other pussies left. Jason said that he couldn't leave because he lives in Hoboken and can't get home anyway. Gary didn't think it was that big of a deal and everyone was panicking for no good reason. He heard that there's hardly anyone out on the street and everyone was still up there in the offices.
One caller said that if they smell rotten eggs, they're smelling natural gas and they should get out of there. He suggested that they get down to the basement and if they see fumes... He wasn't sure what to do. Benjy was still sticking around and said he was there to get some air time.
Tim Sabean came in and said that they don't have any updates other than it's worse on the outside than it is on the inside. Jon took a call from a guy who claimed to be a fireman and this was no big deal. He said that they have smells like this all the time and when it's not raining, the smell usually dissipates quickly. He said that taking the advice of Penny Crone and Dominic Barbara, they're in trouble.
Gary thought the guy was nuts and his claims that it was the humidity was nuts. Jon heard that the Gay Channel was bad mouthing the Stern Show so Gary headed down there and confronted them. They had the gay channel up on the Wrap Up Channel. Gary spent a short time over there and Jon said that they now know why more people listen to the Wrap Up Show than the gay channel.
Jon took more phone calls and then Gary returned to the studio. He got some applause when he came back in. Gary said that Greg the camera guy from Howard TV was all giggles when he came out of the gay channel studio. Greg said it was the way they were acting about all of that stuff.
A phone caller told the guys that they should be fine with the gas leak because it probably can't combust with that level of oxygen in the air. Scott DePace called in and said that Artie pulled him out of the building and that's why he left. He didn't think it was that bit of a deal, he wanted to beat the traffic out of the city.
There were more callers giving the guys advice on why they should get out of there and how they might have to shut down stuff. The guys figured he was full of shit so they hung up on him. Ronnie the Limo Driver called in and said that there was hardly any traffic and no one was on the street or anything like that. He didn't seem to think there was much panic going on out there. He told the guys to do as much of the show as they want and then go ahead and leave.
A caller told the guys he saw Sal and Richard pretending to make out on the street while the FOX cameras were on them. They continued to talk to fans who were calling in about what was going on. There were more news reports coming in about the situation and it didn't sound like there was much of anything really going on. Shuli called in as a caller and goofed on Gary saying that the rotten egg smell might be coming from Gary's upper lip.
Jon went to a news report where Mayor Bloomberg was talking about what was going on in the city. It sounded like nothing so they cut it off and took a commercial break.
After the break Jon took a call from a guy who works at a gas company and he thinks it's much ado about nothing. They took many calls and there were many conflicting reports about how serious this smell could be. There were also discussions about how no one is sure how to react to something like this. They figure that it's easy for a terrorist attack to take place there in the city and they've seen proof of that on TV before.
Jon and Gary talked about Howard's work ethic and how he kept saying he was going to be leaving but stuck with the show for longer than he really needed to. Gary told a story about how they even went to work in the middle of a hurricane when they were working at WNBC many years ago.
Ralph called in and said that this was pretty scary shit and he's not going to leave his apartment today. He said that it's weird when they don't know where a smell like that is coming from. Scott DePace called back in and said that they were doing a great job with the show but he had just pulled in his driveway.
A caller asked Benjy what he thought about the conspiracy theory about how the World Trade Center buildings were brought down by bombs. Benjy said that he doesn't believe in that stuff. A short time later Brian Phelan from Howard TV called in and said that Sal was standing down there and there was really nothing going on out there. Sal said he was looking for a ride home. The guys all asked him what really happened. Sal said that he ran out when Howard said he was leaving and he didn't want to go back up there. Sal said he's not going to get on a train today because of this stuff. Gary said he's not getting on a train because it will cost him 8 bucks.
Sal said that there is something going on out there because there are ''no towels'' out on the street if you know what he means. He also said that the push carts out on the street are all closed up. He told the guys to really just get out of the building. He thinks that there might be something being planned and they should get out of there.
Ralph asked if he missed an evaluation in there this morning. Gary told him it wasn't an evaluation, it was just a chick who came in. Gary said that she was a solid 9. A short time later Haydn Porter called in so Gary asked her if she wanted to talk about his lips some more. She said that she had commented on his lips on the Superfan Roundtable. She meant it in a good way.
Haydn said some stuff about Christina who was on earlier and thought it was wrong of her to be so pompous. Gary told Haydn that she's a solid 8 in his opinion but this Christina was a solid 9. Ralph said that she's a 9 to him though.
Jon took some more calls after that and people were still giving conflicting reports about the gas leak. Richard Christy came in and said that he and Sal were interviewed on FOX news and that's when they started nuzzling each other. He said the camera man got pissed when they did that.
Sal called back in and told some more stories. Then Penny Crone came in to tell them about what went on with Sal and Richard. She said the camera man knew her and asked if they were friends of hers. She had to come back up to tell them what was going on up there. Jon asked her what she was doing back up there since she was so freaked out. Penny said that she had to tell them what was going on and how pissed off that camera crew got with them. She said they really were upset.
Jon took another call from a guy who talked about how this gas leak could just be the start of a massive bombing in the city. He dragged the story out a bit long and didn't get to his point so the guys were kind of goofing on him.
The guys eventually moved on to talk more about what went on during today's show. Gary talked about how Superfan Susan got a hold of him through his cable guy and got herself booked on the show.
Lisa G came in with a Howard 100 News update and said they'd have continuing team coverage throughout the day. They got some interviews with Howard and Artie as they were leaving this morning. They also got some audio of Tim Sabean begging Howard and Ronnie not to leave and to keep the show going when Howard was leaving around 10 this morning.
Another caller told the guys that they really have nothing to worry about because the thing they're smelling is an additive to the natural gas that doesn't dissipate as quickly as the gas does itself. The guy said it happens all the time up in the Boston area. He said that the mercaptan in the gas is what they're smelling and it will be around longer than the gas is around. Tim Sabean came in again and said that it smells like that in Philly all the time because they have natural gas tanks down there near the air port. Gary said that it's like that in part of New Jersey and it is from those gas tanks over near the turnpike.
Jon Hein read another news report about the smell in the city and how it might be just an unpleasant smell that they have to deal with. Sal said that they're saying that but they don't know for a fact that it's not going to hurt someone. He seems to think that they're risking people's lives by saying it's nothing.
The guys wondered what tomorrow morning will be like when everyone comes back in. Artie will get goofed on along with Scott DePace and anyone else who left the building so quickly. Gary defended Howard saying he stuck around until 10 o'clock but he did leave early.
Jon took a bunch more calls and let people give their thoughts on what was going on. Another guy claiming to be from a gas company said he thinks everyone is panicking for no reason. The smell they were smelling is not the natural gas itself, it's the mercaptan in the gas that they smell. Ralph was laughing because all of these gas company guys were calling in and explaining what was going on. A fire fighter called in and said that they can detect if this stuff could be explosive and they would have had a warning if the levels were right to ignite.
Jon took another guy who claimed to know about the mercaptan smell. He told the guys what they had already been told about 10 times during the show. Benjy started goofing on all of these people and told the guys about the mercaptan once again.
There were other callers telling the guys about the smells they have near their homes. Jon was whipping through a bunch of calls and there even more people calling in with the exact same information about the mercaptan... over and over and over again. Jon wrapped up the Wrap Up Show around 11:55am.
Howard started off his one year anniversary at SIRIUS saying he had a big show for everyone today. He mentioned that Larry Pierce would be there to perform some song parodies for them. He played a few samples of the songs they've played on the show before. Larry sings songs such as ''There Ain't Nothin Like a Good Hard Fuckin'' and ''HillBilly Cock'' and many others. Howard said he's got a new release out and played a sample of those. One was ''She's a Worthless Cunt'' which had more of a pop feel to it. Howard said his new one is ''I Want to Show Her Some Affection But She's Got a Yeast Infection'' and played some of that.
Howard told Fred he's got to start doing song parodies like this guy does because he tells a story. Howard played another one called ''I Think About You Every Time I Shit.'' Howard said he can't relate to that one himself. He played another one where Larry sings ''Will You Swallow My Cum.'' He said that sometimes you find out what songs really mean when they kind of mask the meaning. In Larry's songs he hides nothing. He literally tells you what's going on and he appreciates that.
Howard said that when they said they were going to leave, Artie left and disappeared before everyone else left. Howard said that he decided to stick around a little longer but Artie and Scott DePace ran off. Artie said he threw Scott DePace under the bus because he really didn't run off like they thought he had.
Howard played some audio from the Wrap Up Show where Gary ran over to Out Q to talk to them about what they were saying about Howard leaving early yesterday. Gary spoke to them over there about that for a short time.
Howard said he got pissed at Ralph yesterday because he was supposed to show up at his apartment at 3 o'clock and he didn't show. Ralph was on the Wrap Up Show calling people pussies for leaving early, meanwhile he sat in his apartment and refused to come in. He said Ralph was freaked out because 60 birds died in Texas and he thought it was related somehow. Howard said it's endless daddy stuff with that guy. He said he got a call from Ralph late in the afternoon and he said he was nervous and scared about what was going on. He said he saved 3 of the messages and he should pull them up so everyone can hear them.
Ralph left four messages telling him how scared he was about coming into the city. Ralph called him at 2:30 asking if he should come in or not and it was too late by that time. The smell was over by that time and there was nothing to it. He told Ralph that he left the building after doing his show and that was it. The gas was gone but Ralph was still sitting at home wondering what to do.
Artie said they probably would have been safer in the building. Howard said they should replay that show every January 8th. It was like their 9/11. Howard said Sam Simon told him yesterday to play that show every year because it is like their own personal 9/11.
Howard wanted to get the Ralph voice mail messages so he was going to take an early break. Then he decided to play some songs or a bit or something to fill that time. Gary reminded him about a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a chess show on public access. He played the call where a woman takes calls about chess. Richard called in as a guy who had some of his pieces shoved up his ''shit locker.'' Of course they hung up on him as soon as he said that. Then Sal called in with his kids in the background. He said he had never met someone famous on the TV. Sal tried to put the kid on the phone but he started crying and ran off. They moved on to the next caller which was Richard again. Richard made a move where he used his cock. Sal called back in again and asked the woman if she knows Robert De Niro and other celebrities. He put his son on the phone again and had him making rude comments to the woman. Richard and Sal called in again and again until they started muting the calls and cutting them off. Then they stopped taking calls all together.
Howard came back after playing the call and Robin said it kind of went nowhere. Howard wasn't going to play that one but he had to kill some time. He said he only had one saved message from Ralph. He said that they haven't been doing that many great prank calls lately. That one was a little too long and nothing happened. Gary thought they were all laughing at that one yesterday but Howard said he didn't find it so funny. Artie said he wasn't there when they were listening but he did agree it was way too long and kind of boring. He said Gary is usually 95 percent on the money with his picks though. Gary said that he usually is right but Howard will obsess on anything he does wrong.
Howard had some audio from the Wrap Up Show where Ralph was goofing on people on the show calling them pussies for leaving. Then Howard played the voice mail he got from Ralph where he asked him to give him a call back. He was weirded out by the whole thing and wasn't sure if he wanted to come in or not. Artie said he clearly doesn't want to work and he admits that's the reason he didn't stick around yesterday as well. Howard replayed the voice mail and Ralph says he's not comfortable getting on the train. He wondered if Howard had gotten out of town or something.
Howard got annoyed with the message saying that he should have just gotten his message out and not dragged it out with his Hey Now stuff. He said that the first message Ralph left was about the birds down in Texas and he gets caught up in his world. Artie said it was obvious he just didn't want to come into the city to work. Artie said he bolted out of there when he said they were going to leave yesterday. He figures Ralph is the same way.
Howard said there's an interview in the NY Times (Stern Likes His New Censor: Himself) today and it was pretty nice but not quite as nice as he thought it was going to be.
Robin said that people don't get the numbers right when they say how many people signed on when he announced he was moving to SIRIUS. They had 600,000 when Howard announced that move and now they have 6 million. Howard said he has to thank his audience for being loyal and signing up in droves.
Robin wondered if people still love them after yesterday. He said that some people might be pissed. He got some e-mail about that. He also read some mail about Artie's movie and how it's hard to find in the stores. There was some feedback about how the marketing of the movie doesn't seem to be all that great. Artie said they did sell a lot more DVDs than they thought they were going to.
Howard read some mail about Artie's wardrobe and how he never seems to have anything clean. There was some feedback about Richard Christy not showering every day and how they should fire him if he doesn't start cleaning himself up.
Howard said that everyone hated the Napier brothers and don't want them back again. Howard said that the Howard TV subscribers will love them because of the hot chick they brought in. Robin said that girl acted like a kidnap victim. They spent a minute talking about how that negative reaction means that it was good radio. Howard said the Napier Brother show will be on Howard TV starting tonight. That also includes their gas scare.
Artie said he was going to take time to write and do other stuff on the flight down there. Howard figures that they'll feel pressure to perform on the flight if they have a camera on there. Artie said that he's looking forward to seeing the private jet and people might want to see that on TV. Howard said that people are asking what kind of gifts to give him but he really wants nothing. He said he's trying to save people some aggravation.
Gary said that he's not bringing his gift to Florida. Howard thanked him for that because he can't do anything with a gift down there anyway. Artie said that it's tough having Howard's birthday such a short time after Christmas. He was calling Howard his boss but Howard told him that they're just co-workers, he's not his boss. Howard said he appreciates everyone there and they really don't have to get him a gift.
Howard mentioned that Beth got him the best gift ever. He said that this guy who has been giving him chess lessons on the web is flying in to teach him in person. Howard thinks that's a great gift because he's so into chess right now. He said Beth was upset with him for playing so much chess lately but he said he spent the whole weekend with her this past weekend. He also said that he can't get chess out of his head even when he's spending time with her.
Gary said the guy declined the offer so the guys were going to try to find something else. Howard said that he wouldn't want something like that anyway so he's glad that didn't come through.
Howard got back to the Doug Goodstein thing. He said Doug was looking to get some video of them hanging out on the beach and stuff like that. Gary said he won't be taking his shirt off at the pool so he's not too thrilled about doing that.
Artie said that his shirt will be staying on at the pool but his pants will be coming off at The Dollhouse. He said there will be no cameras in that place though. Howard said Bubba has an agenda to do all kinds of shit down there. He wants Howard and the guys to come over to his studio to see them work. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. Robin heard that Bubba wants them to see his house too. Howard said he didn't know that and he doesn't have any plans to go over there either.
Gary said he never said that Howard was going to go to Bubba's house. Tim Sabean said that they just had the studio redone down there so he wants to show it off. Howard heard about all of the stuff they have going on down there and it sounds like they have 150,000 square feet with the amount of stuff they have in there.
Artie said that he has something very geeky he wants to do down there. He wants to go see this field where the Yankees play for spring training. They won't be there doing that but he wants to see it. Howard said they can all just hang out and see what happens when they get there. Gary wondered if they're going to be drinking on the way down there. Howard said he doesn't drink in the afternoon, he only drinks at night.
Artie said that his field tour should only take like an hour. Howard asked him if he's going to be sitting around at the pool with his shirt on like he did in Vegas. Artie said he'll be putting on some make-up to cover up his stretch marks. He said he will take his shirt off if he goes in the pool though.
Howard said Doug wants to take some video at the wedding but the camera will be small so no one will notice it. The guys said they wall want to know when they're on video though so the small camera isn't helping. Gary said that this is going to be work for him because he'll probably have the camera on the plane.
Howard wanted to see what that looked like so he had the Howard TV guys put the video up. In the video they were right behind the reporter making out on camera. Howard seemed to find that pretty funny. Artie said he now knows that they're not gay because they didn't commit to actually making out. Sal said that they've finally done something gay that's actually funny to Artie.
The guys got a few laughs watching that video a couple of times. That led to the guys talking about other Jackass-like stunts that they've seen. Howard said that today is their first anniversary and also the day that Joey Buttafuoco going back to jail.
Howard also mentioned that Marty the Midget is appearing in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean and there's a picture of him with Johnny Depp and Keith Richards. Artie said that Keith Richards looks really disturbing in the picture.
Howard read some news stories and one of them was about this guy who had to be rushed to the hospital when he stapled his hand to a table and got stuck. He also mentioned that the local CBS news had to fire a bunch of their well known staff. He said that Roz Abrams is getting paid like $6 million to sit out the rest of her contract. Robin said that didn't sound like they were saving money. If they have to pay her, let her sit there and read the news.
Howard read one e-mail where the guy told him that he has a responsibility not to cause mass hysteria since he is a national radio personality. He shouldn't have done what he did. Howard said that he did the show until 10 yesterday and then he left. He didn't think that sticking around for another two hours was going to help anyone. Howard said that show seems to have gotten the most feedback and was the most controversial over the past year of shows.
Howard read an e-mail where a guy complained about Ralph calling into the show one too many times. The guy doesn't want to keep subscribing if he's going to keep calling in.
Howard mentioned a story about this Archbishop who was appointed over the weekend. The guy resigned right after that because he was accused of being a collaborator with the communist government in Poland. A lot of his fans started screaming that the Jews were behind all of that when they heard he had resigned. Howard spent a minute explaining how there are no Jews left over there so they can't be to blame.
Howard mentioned that Van Halen is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and he'll definitely watch that show. He said that has to be the greatest. The guys spent a few minutes talking about how great the band was so many years ago and how maybe David Lee Roth should be the lead singer who gets inducted since he was there in the beginning. Howard told Gary to get Eddie Van Halen to do another interview because he wants to know how that induction is going to go. He went to break after that.
Eric the Midget was on the phone to wish them a happy Anniversary. Howard thanked Eric for the call and said that he was also part of the show for the past year. Eric said he was willing to do the balloon stunt today but they didn't arrange it. Howard said that's because he has so many demands. He did his impression of Eric asking for the chance to get on the TV show Heroes and some other stuff. Howard said it's always something ridiculous and he just hangs up on him when he hears that stuff these days.
Howard pointed out that Artie had come in with some more free Hawaiian Punch. He said no one takes more advantage of that free stuff than Artie does. Artie said that his intake of Hawaiian Punch is what takes away any profit that the company makes.
Howard said that he's heard that Google is the best place to work because they have even more free stuff like massages and things like that. He thinks it's cool that they have free soda and pretzels. Artie said that he came from a low rated network TV show where they had non-stop free catering and you get spoiled from that.
Howard said that if they put a gym there at SIRIUS, he wouldn't leave the building. He would work out and then go back to his office and work even more. He said now he has to leave to go to the gym, then he goes home to work. Howard said they need a gym and a strip club and then he'd never leave. It would become his home there if they did something like that.
Howard said he would also like an Asian massage parlor there so he could get a happy ending. He said that way he could bust a nut there as well. Howard took a call from a woman who said that her sister works for Google and they have a Sushi bar. They also have couches, bean bags and concerts in the court yard there. Robin said that Google is being run by the guys who started it right now, when the bean counters get there, they'll put a stop to it.
Howard said that they're supposed to have a big breakfast there for them at 8 this morning but he doesn't think any of them will be able to go.
Artie said that he almost drove himself to a psychiatric hospital yesterday. He said he went home, went to sleep and then got up around 7. He had a nice dinner and then went to bed but he kept eating the leftovers he had. He had breaded chicken cutlets and two slices of pizza. He said he loads up on shit just so he has it in his apartment. He said that he ate the chicken and the pizza and he's back to drinking soda as well. Then he needed something chocolate so he got three Hershey bars.
Artie said he had gotten some of those huge Hershey bars and put them in the microwave to warm them up because they had been in the refrigerator. He heated it perfectly to where they were soft in the middle and hard on the sides. He was eating it with a spoon and almost started to cry because he couldn't stop eating it. He said that he has to eat so he doesn't think about any drugs or anything like that.
Howard said that he had a bowl of shredded wheat when he got hungry. Artie said he wouldn't even know where to get shredded wheat. Robin told Artie he really needs to get help with that. He has to figure out why he has to do that stuff. Howard said the shrink will make him figure out why he has to fill himself with that stuff. He said that maybe his parents did something that makes him want to do that stuff.
Artie said that he almost started to cry when he was eating that chocolate. He joked that he was still overwhelmed by the gas leak thing. He said he went to sleep after that so Howard asked him if he got the runs after eating that. Artie said he took the paper into the bathroom with him and read the story about how Dallas had lost because he wanted to read that again. He said that it's pretty awful after eating chocolate like that because it splatters all over the toilet. He figures that Dana ducked a bullet by not staying with him.
Howard still had the woman on the phone who talked about the Google stuff. Howard said goodbye to her and got back to Artie. Robin said they really should put him on a treadmill and make him work for his air time like a fan suggested.
Artie mentioned that Ralph has been trying to help him get hooked up with some clothes but now he's starting to sound like he's doing a sales pitch. Howard thinks it may have been because he did have a business conversation with Ralph and he may have been trying to charge him to shop for him. Artie wondered what he should pay another grown man to pick out his clothes.
Howard asked Artie if he eats a lot because he's bored. Artie said he is so bored... Howard told him he's going to teach him how to play chess on the flight back from Florida this weekend. Artie said he usually plays softball and stuff like that but he can't keep up with that. Howard said that he doesn't even think about food when he's playing chess so if Artie took it up, maybe he could lose some weight. Artie said he's a joke when he goes to play basketball because no one will pick him to play on their team.
Howard got back to Lisa G. She said that they'll be talking about the year that Howard has been there at SIRIUS. They'll talk to many of the people who have been on the show in the past year as well.
Larry mentioned that today is the release date for his 14th album and he seemed very proud of that. Howard told him how much he appreciates the fact that he just uses the words he wants to use in his songs instead of trying to hide them.
Larry told Robin how he got into the song writing business and how much fun he had coming up with that stuff. Howard asked Larry to sing some of his ''She Licked My Scrotum'' since he did have a guitar with him. Larry laughed for a few seconds and sang some of that. Howard also had him sing some of his song ''Nothin Like a Good Hard Fuckin.''
Howard asked Larry how old his kids are. Larry rattled them off and said that some are in their 30s. Howard asked when he started singing some of those songs to his kids. He said he used to try to hide it from them but they would hear the songs coming from behind closed doors.
Howard asked for Scott to come in and raise the volume of the guitar for Larry because it seemed a little low. Scott came in and Howard went off on him for not getting it right. Scott said that the volume seemed appropriate for him when they set it up but with him singing it may not have been loud enough. Howard said that maybe they should fly this guy into Bubba's wedding and have him sing some of that stuff for Bubba as he's walking down the aisle.
Howard had Larry sing some ''Hillbilly Cock'' for them. Howard asked him if he can make any money from that stuff. Larry said he has made a little money from the CD sales. He's also going out on tour with a band who found him and wanted to go on tour. He said he comes cheap too.
Howard said that Larry's latest album, ''Worthless Cunt,'' is out now. Howard played some of the title song from that album for everyone. Then Larry said he wanted to play something for Howard. He was laughing before he even started the song so Howard said that he seems to crack himself up. Larry went into his song and sang a song about a smelly pussy.
Howard gave Larry some plugs for his web site and album ''Pussy Whipped'' which is out now. He also gave out the web site DirtyCountryMovie.com. Howard then played some of his other songs.
Artie asked if the audience is like him at his concerts... and not there. Larry said that his wife has inspired some of his songs so Howard wondered if the stinky pussy is one of those. Larry said that he is a one woman man and he has experienced that. Artie asked him if he has any racial overtones in his songs. Larry said he's all about having a good time so, no, he doesn't have any racial stuff.
Howard said that Larry's wife must get upset about some of those songs. He said that she has gotten upset and he just tells her that they don't have anything to do with her.
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget who said that this guy sucks. Fred said that the guy is better than Rascal Flats. Eric said he listens to country music and this stuff sucks. Howard told him to get off his phone and hung up on him.
Howard played some more clips of Larry's songs like ''Will You Swallow My Cum.'' Howard said he must have an incredible sex drive and asked him if he whacks off a lot. Larry said he does it at least once a day and also has to have sex with his wife. He said he needs both. Howard asked Larry if he's ever written a song that was too intense. Larry said that's what he thought about ''Yeast Infection'' but he went through with it and finished it.
Artie asked Larry about his backup singers and if they've ever had a problem singing back up lyrics to some of those songs. Larry said his band is good about that and they don't have a problem.
Howard asked Larry to talk about his song ''Every Time I Shit'' and where that came from. Larry said it wasn't really inspired by anything, it was just a dopey idea he had. Howard asked him if he has to find places to hide when he beats off. Larry said that shit song was about a guy who might get turned on thinking about a woman in a positive way instead of a negative way like most guys would look at it.
Howard asked Larry to go out to the lobby and sing some of his songs while they have their special breakfast out there. The guys figured he might not be allowed to do something like that out there though. Robin asked Larry who discovered him. Larry said that it was a really long story and he didn't know how to make it short. He said he had recorded some of his songs on a cassette tape and it was eventually sent to a record company who wanted to produce the album.
Howard asked Larry how much he can make on an album like that. He said it's just a few thousand dollars so it's not all that much. Howard thanked Larry for coming in and gave him some plugs for Larry and his band Itis. Larry said this was the first time he's ever been on national radio so it was a big deal for him. Artie told Larry that he should call himself Silly Nelson, he'd be huge if he did that. Howard played some more short clips of his songs and then wrapped up with him and went to break.
Howard said the guy got all pervy with his mother so they actually cut it down a bit. He said Richard cut out all of those parts because he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear his mother talking about that stuff. Howard said it wouldn't have creeped him out. Richard said he would recut it with the dirty stuff left in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that call was priceless. He also brought up an article that was in the paper the other day and how positive it was. Howard said he mentioned that yesterday but didn't read the whole thing on the air.
Howard said he likes when guys talk about the phenomenon of the show and how well they're doing. He said that the company is growing at astronomical rates and they've grown like 82 percent in the past year. Gary pointed out that they've taken over a majority of the market share in sales in the fourth quarter of 2006 from XM.
Howard said that some articles they always have to mention how much money he makes. He said that the article that the guy was talking about didn't mention that but there are some articles that do. He said he liked the Boston Globe article because it just talked about how well the show is doing. The caller said he thinks Howard should do more articles like that and more appearances as well.
Bobo called in and said he can't believe that it's been a year already. Artie said it's another year of Bobo wasting his life. Bobo said that there's an article in the paper today about how Howard is irrelevant. Howard said that satellite radio sales are raising at a faster rate than even cell phones did. He didn't believe that but that's what he's been told.
Howard said that the guys from Inside Radio work for terrestrial radio and never point that out when they write negative articles about him and satellite radio. Howard said that he's even more relevant than he was at any time in his career and no one can handle that. He said that they're crushing terrestrial radio and they can't handle that.
Bobo gave him a quote from the article he was talking about and he makes it sound like Howard is very predictable now. Howard said that's just the opposite of what he hears from the fans. He also pointed out that they just confirmed that Inside Radio is run by Clear Channel and they have some grudge against him and have no problem bad mouthing him.
Howard said that Newsday has a poll going on today and they ask you like 10 questions about him and the show. Howard read through the questions and wondered who would know some of them. There was a question about a movie he got out of that Melanie Griffith was going to co-star in. He ended up talking about how good looking she was when she showed up one day to talk him into doing the movie.
Howard continued to read through the list of questions and everyone in the studio knew the answers. He thought it was pretty hard. He said he was kind of honored that they would have a trivia poll about him.
Artie asked for an omelet since they were rushing them to get in their orders. Gary said he was going to have one made up for him and it wouldn't have any fruit on the side or anything like that. Artie said he'd rather have a regular omelet instead of an egg white omelet. Howard said they had a whole station set up out there with chefs and stuff.
Howard said that Sal and Richard were hanging out with Beetlejuice doing a gig and they gave him an iPod, which they told him was a phone. Beetlejuice thought he was on the phone when Sal was standing behind him talking to him as if he was on the phone and Beet though he was actually having a conversation.
Howard played the audio of Beetlejuice having that conversation with someone in the room. Howard said they then had Beet answer the iPod and talk to someone who wasn't even there. There was no one on the phone but Beet had answers for them when they asked him what the guy was doing and where he was at. Beet would pause and then answer them as if someone was on with him.
Artie got his omelet and showed everyone how beautiful it was. There was quite a bit of bacon on the plate, and it may have been too much even for him. Howard said that in light of Artie's portion, only 20 people can eat now, not 50. Fred was passing on the breakfast because he's trying to lose a little weight.
Howard said it's pretty amazing what's gone on in a year and he thinks that it really is the beginning of a revolution. He also had to thank Dr. Martine for inventing the whole thing.
Howard said that Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver is now going out and singing Christmas songs. He had a little clip of him singing on The Tonight Show. He said it's just weird. He and Robin talked about how bad they thought it was even though they're big fans of Scott's.
Howard had a clip from Who Wants to be a Millionaire where this woman mentions she wants to get boobs with her winnings and they actually bleep the word ''boobs'' during the show. They let her say it once but then bleep it when she mentions the word again and again.
Gary came in and told Howard that Richard had the outtakes from that prank call they played earlier. Howard played the clips where that guy Howard told Ray to let him do sexual stuff to her. Gary warned Howard that it was pretty creepy stuff. The guy was asking her to do all kinds of weird stuff. They had Ray saying no over and over again but he wouldn't take no for an answer. The guy was very persistent. Howard told Richard to put all of those outtakes back into the call so they can hear it in full.
Howard said he saw some pictures on the web that turned out to be fake. He said it was supposed to be Paris and Nikki Hilton body painting each other. He showed it to Artie and he thought it was really Nikki. Artie said that whoever the chick is has an awesome body.
Gary said that NASA had some people working there looking for the video but no one wanted to do anything about it. Then they decided to look for it. Gary said that they used to tape over old tapes, kind of like how Tom Chiusano used to do at K-Rock. Gary said they found in Australia, in the basement of some school, 16,000 tapes that were lost. The moon landing tape wasn't one of them though. So that amazing tape is still lost.
Gary said that there was one room at NASA where they had a sprinkler problem and they've ruined a lot of tapes and research records because of that. Howard said he's horrible at archiving stuff himself so he hired Jeff Shick and Laura Lackner to do all of that for him.
Some of the guys came in and brought in a cake of the fist logo. Scott Greenstein told Howard it's been great over the past year. Howard told Scott he was choked up over this whole thing and thanked him for making everything come true that he promised him. Howard was about to cry but that was chased away when he saw Artie's food pouch in his mouth.
Howard told Scott that they're a miracle company now and they've been working very hard for the past year and he's very proud to be working there. He thanked Scott for bringing him there and making it all possible. Scott said no one realized what he was going to bring to the table when he got there. Scott said that what Howard has done for the business is great. He said that everything in the marketplace has shifted and the public spoke by buying their product in the fourth quarter of this year. Artie added that the only people to have a worse fourth quarter than XM are the Dallas Cowboys.
Howard said that he wanted to toast to Scott for the next year and he's looking forward to 1/9/08. Scott thanked everyone there for doing what they've been doing. He said that Mel Karmazin is at the Consumer Electronic Show today so he couldn't be there. Howard asked Scott to have a massage parlor installed there like Google has. He explained to Scott how that would keep him there if he had a massage parlor and a gym in the building.
Tim Sabean said that they were going to replay Howard's first show on SIRIUS right after his show today. Then they're going to have the top 10 moments from the last year. That will be playing throughout the day. Sal the Stockbroker was in the studio and laughing so Howard asked him what was going on there. Sal said that Ronnie asked him to pass a note to Benjy that said ''Why is Scott Salem in the studio?'' Howard asked Scott why he was there. Scott said he was wondering that himself, but he was asked to come in.
Tim got in another mention of what they had coming up today. He said that there are a lot of people who are going to hear that first show for the first time. They're also going to replay the test shows that they did before the official launch. That will be happening this weekend.
Howard's father Ben called in and congratulated him on his year anniversary. He also congratulated himself for having a son like this. Howard asked Ben if he thought he'd have a great man like that as his son when he was growing up. Ben said that no one knows how someone is going to turn out. He said if he knew then what he knows now, he would have treated him differently. He would have carried him around the whole time like royalty.
Ben said that he had to straighten him out about something. He said the reason he didn't send him the tape of the Eddie Murphy thing wasn't because he reuses tapes. He said there was more to the story. He was going to bring the tape to the gym where he works out but he figured he could get a copy himself.
Howard took a call from Ben Stern who wanted to talk to Ben Stern. The guys in the back were playing Ben clips and had the two of them talking to each other.
Ben talked about how he had to get out of the recording business and he hasn't worked since then. He's been very happy since then. Howard said that his father has the best life. They get up, eat breakfast, do some meditation, go to the track, meditate some more, watch some TV and then go to bed. Ben said that he retired from the business when he was just 58 years old.
Howard asked his father if he ever gets amorous with his wife. Ben said he's in love with himself. He said that they got married in 1947 on May 17th. Howard was born in 1954 and no one would let him come up to the hospital room while Ray was having him. He didn't tell anyone he was there though so no one knew he was even waiting.
Howard said that Brian Phelan just had his third kid recently and he passed out in the hospital room. Howard said the guy weighs close to 300 pounds. Brian came in and said he weighs 250 pounds and they just left him on the floor when he passed out. He said he heard a gush noise and it was a whole mess of blood and shit. He said it was nasty and was starting to feel kind of queasy just thinking about it. He said he was only down for a few seconds and they asked him why it's always the big ones who go down.
Brian said they were just going to leave him there but he got up pretty quick and sat in a chair. Brian said he gets very queasy and that's why he passed out so easily. Ben asked when men were allowed to go into the hospital room. Howard said it was after this book ''Our Bodies, Ourselves'' came out. He said it was all about the male bonding and stuff like that so now it's an insult if the guy isn't in the hospital room.
Howard talked to his dad about some political stuff. He brought up some things that Andrew Cuomo is doing and he had to give him the thumbs up on some of that stuff. The two of them spent a short time on that and got back to Brian passing out. Brian said he hasn't had sex with his wife since seeing what he saw. He said that stuff could turn a guy gay because it's really disgusting to see that coming out of there. He said it's scary and he's really horny so he will have to go back there eventually.
Gary said he saw both of his kids born and the second one wasn't that bad. He said the first one was different though because he saw this human being popping out of the place where he has sex.
Howard took a call from the guys who were playing clips of his mother's voice. She was saying she hadn't seen him in the paper today. She also said that if she could do it all over again, she would breast feet. Those clips are all from Meet the Sterns which aired last year.
Howard talked to his father about going down to Florida for Bubba's wedding and how he'd be celebrating his birthday down there. Howard also said he's kind of curious about his parents sex life. He asked his dad if he's still going to be doing it at 83 or if he's going to give it up by then. Ben said that when he turns 65 he's going to come clean about everything. Ben claims that he can still get aroused at his age. He said he's never needed Viagra. He said that you're not like you were when you were 20 though because things start to wear out.
Ben said that you're only as old as you feel and he doesn't feel 83. He said that he only feels old when he goes out and everyone around him is younger than he is. He said he'll go out dancing and he's the oldest one there. They go square dancing every Monday night and it helps keep him young.
Howard asked his father about why he never had friends. Ben said that when you get married you make friends with other couples. Howard said he didn't have any friends that he hung out with though. Howard said he thinks his father doesn't want to get attached to anyone too much.
Howard said his father doesn't like to feel sad and once told his mother not to look back when they leave Howard's house because she was complaining that she gets sad when they pull away. He said that's the way his father treats emotion, he just doesn't confront his.
Howard was trying to figure out if his father's mother was still alive when he was born. Ben couldn't remember the dates and wasn't sure if she as still alive at that time. Ray was in the background yelling at him that she was still alive when Howard was born. That led to the guys asking Ben if he ever went to the grave and spoke to his mother. Ben said he did visit the grave a few times but he never said anything out loud. Howard let Ben go and thanked him for calling in. He said he'd still like to know if they're having sex.
Gary said that he's going to be doing a documentary on Mariann and her husband for the next film festival. He's fascinated by the whole thing and wants to learn more about them.
Howard asked Mariann if she would blow him if he asked her to. She said she doesn't do that for anyone but her husband. She said she's actually very good at it because with a voice like that, she has to be good at something like that.
Howard was going to let Mariann read a poem that she wrote but they got sidetracked when they talked about the Real Doll and how someone had suggested that they make her up to look like Artie's grandmother. Artie said that would lead to another contest where they'd have to find his replacement because he won't ever come in again.
Howard had Mariann read her poem. She read the first line and Howard cut her off because he said no one could take it. He asked her if she would ride the Sybian in honor of this anniversary. She didn't want to do it but they told her to keep her clothes on. She went over to it and got on. Howard told her to get into her underwear but she didn't want to do that either.
Gary turned on the Sybian but Mariann wanted to get off of it. She said she couldn't do it but faked it a little bit. That lasted about 10 seconds before she asked them to turn it off. Artie said that was probably the worst Sybian ride ever. Sal then came in and asked if she would sign that Sybian attachment. He handed her the pen and it exploded. It was his exploding pen trick that he was doing yesterday. She called him a fucking ass hole and then they let her leave.
Howard got a gift from Mariann which was a giant mug that said ''Legend'' on it. Robin said it was an ugly color so Howard threw it away. He tried to smash it but it wasn't breaking. He said he was going to keep it in there after it wouldn't break. Howard went to break after that.
Howard got back to the Chuck Zito clips he started to play earlier. He said that he wanted to know more about what Chuck and Pam Anderson were up to but Chuck wasn't very forthcoming about it all. He played a clip where a caller asked Chuck what he thought about Howard leaving early that morning. Chuck didn't seem to have a problem with it. He said they did their job and left. He didn't want to bad mouth Howard at all.
Howard wanted to clarify everything. He said he did a full show, he just didn't do an extra full hour like he usually does. He then played a clip of Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa goofing on him on Live with Regis and Kelly. Regis said he couldn't smell it at all yesterday or today.
Howard said he likes how Regis and Kelly drink their coffee while having their little 20 minute chat on the air. Howard figured there was some kind of study done where they found that drinking coffee gets ratings. Artie said it's like you're drinking coffee with them. He does the same when he's eating his breakfast with all of the other fans who are doing the same.
Howard played another clip where Chuck took a call from a guy who called him a fag and said that his show sucks. Chuck told him to come down there and he'd punch him out.
Howard had a clip from FOX and Friends where they goofed on him for leaving the show early. In the clip they said that Howard had left early but he claims he didn't leave early, he left at 10 o'clock which is the official end time for the show (But he seems to be forgetting that he walked out at 9:29am first, then came back and ''finished'' the show)
Howard played a prank call that Richard Christy made to a talk show. He told the guy that they thought that one of their co-workers had shit their pants. The host laughed and thanked him for the call.
Yesterday Howard played some audio of William Shatner going off on a guy at a recording session. Howard said he was kind of right but he just kept going off on the guy and wouldn't let up. He was relentless with his goofing. Howard replayed that clip and said that Shatner is really a sadistic bastard. He said he just wouldn't let the guy go. Howard thought that Shatner had read the lines great both times.
Howard took a call from Al Rosenberg who used to work with them at WNBC. Al said that the show has evolved to a level that no one ever expected and he tells everyone about how great it has become. He said that 24 hours of Howard a day isn't enough and they should work on fitting even more.
Howard went to Jon Hein who had a rundown of what they'd be covering on The Wrap Up Show today. They'll go over what they've learned over the past year and talk about today's interview with Larry Pierce. Artie said he still thinks that guy should call himself Silly Nelson. Jon went through a few other subjects that they'll be covering today.
Howard asked Jon what he thinks they should cover down in Florida when they're down there. Jon seems to think that they should be taping a lot of stuff like their plane ride down and even stuff from the beach. Jon wrapped up a short time later so Howard had Robin get to her news.
Howard had some audio from the show where Rosie returned to the show. Barbara Walters claims that what Trump said about what she said about Rosie is totally untrue. Robin said that from what she's read, Barbara's statement came out of the little battle that she had with Rosie behind the scenes.
Artie said that Trump has been really vicious and it's turned him off from watching his show ''The Apprentice.'' He also said that Trump's daughter is good on the show because guys are going to hate her. Fred seems to think that the show is going down in flames and the kids being injected into it is going to be their main downfall. Artie said she says some things on the show that just piss you off and he may just watch it to see how pissed off she can make him. Artie said that Trump's daughter is hot but she just pisses him off.
Fred said that Trump has also put his wife and kid into the show and no one wants to see that. Fred said it becomes a different show and it doesn't work. Howard thought it might be kind of interesting but Fred disagreed. He said he won't be watching it this season.
Howard took a call from Ralph who failed to show up at his apartment yesterday. Ralph said he was freaked out and it fucked up his whole day. Howard told him there was nothing wrong and he should have just come over. He ended up playing the voice mail message he played earlier where Ralph told him how freaked out he was. Howard said by that time of the afternoon the whole thing was over with and there was no problem.
Artie asked Ralph what he would charge to get him a suit and bring it down to Florida. Ralph told him that he has to be involved in it and he has to be measured. Ralph said that he'd send him over somewhere and get him measured after his appearance today.
Ralph was calking in to say that Trump's daughter has Donald's build and she's not hot anymore. He kind of likes the show this season because of the changes they made.
Howard got off the line with Ralph and played some more clips from The View where Rosie was talking about some of the stuff that Trump has said about her. Howard played some other clips of Trump talking about Rosie while being interviewed about The Apprentice.
Artie said he had a joke that he wanted to send to Donald. He said he needs some lines that are funny instead of just calling Rosie fat. He said that he was going to tell Trump to say that he'd like to see Rosie with long hair because it would allow him to see what Jackie Gleason would look like as a hippie.
The guys also talked about Trump owning the Miss Universe pageant and Ralph was on the line arguing about the way Trump treats the women in his pageants.
Howard took a call from Dominic Barbara who wanted to comment on Donald Trump. He said that they lived just a short distance apart and he knows that Donald's mother had a heavy accent so maybe that's why he doesn't mind the accents with his wives. Dominic was also talking about the gas smell yesterday and how there was an article in the paper about gas attacks that Saddam Hussein did when he was in power.
Howard took a call from Double A but he was asleep on the phone. Howard said that the hot chick who was in there the other day (Haydn Porter) had sent them some screen shots of the instant messages that Double A has sent to her and he really comes on strong. He said Double A was saying stuff like he'd like to lick her pussy and things like that. He said he wants to talk to him about that.
Howard said he noticed that there was no one snoring next to Double A. He said he was kind of jealous of that sound of him snoring because that's exactly what he'd like to be doing. Robin said he was snoring like a baby... Howard added ''He's as tall as a baby...'' He also said that Double A must mean ''Asleep Angelo.'' He hung up on him and took a call from Jessica Hahn who wanted to congratulate them on their year there. Howard and Jessica talked about how horrible things were on terrestrial radio and how he really had to get out of there. Jessica told Howard that she's still hot and swears that's true. She said she may get her boobs re-done because she's not happy with them. She said they're not as soft as she would like them even though she just had them done a year ago. Howard said he didn't remember them being hard. She said they just got hard after she had them done last year.
Jessica said that she thinks she looks really good but she knows that she may crash eventually and hit that wall. She said that she has no problem getting wet either and she'd kill herself if that ever happened to her. She said she's never had to use a lube like that. Jessica said that she has to tell him the truth because she will eventually run into him somewhere. Howard let Jessica go a short time later.
Howard had Robin get to more of her news a short time later. She went through a bunch of news stories while Howard pointed out that they were more than making up for leaving early yesterday by staying there past 11 o'clock today.
Scott Ferrall called in with some congratulations for his one year anniversary. He said he saw a lot of reports about him on the news channels. He said he thought that was cool and he can't wait for Bubba's wedding when he can party with all of them. Howard told everyone to check out Scott's show because he really likes it. Scott went into some sports discussions with Artie while he was on the line.
Gary came in and said that Scott has been trying to get through for the past 2 hours and the interns out there think that he's Sour Shoes so they kept hanging up on him. He didn't have the hotline number so they figured it wasn't really him. Howard wrapped up with him and had Robin finish up her news. They ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started off the show saying he was listening to a great tape of Donald Trump on Conan O'Brien's show that he figured Robin would like to hear. Robin heard about some of what it might be about. Howard said everyone seems to be interested in hearing what they all have to say. He didn't think Artie wanted to hear it and wasn't interested but Artie said he's actually into it after hearing what went on yesterday.
Howard said he heard that there was a deal made back stage with Conan and Donald and they weren't going to talk about this stuff. They did end up talking about it though when Conan brought it up. Trump was the one who didn't want to talk about it but Conan said there was no way he couldn't bring it up. Trump said that he really has to honor agreements. Conan claims he never committed to not talking about it. Trump claims one of his representatives did.
Conan asked Trump if he sees a happy resolution to the whole thing. Trump said that he doesn't see anything happy coming out of it and Rosie isn't capable of being happy. Trump can't see them getting together and hugging and kissing to make up. He's not sure why people find it so fascinating. Trump explained that it all started when he gave Miss USA a second chance and Rosie went nuts on The View.
Trump said that people do not like Rosie and the polls are in his favor in this battle they've been having. Conan then flipped the whole thing around and said that he wasn't there to talk about that, he was there to talk about The Apprentice.
Howard said it would be great if there was a boxing match between Trump and Rosie. He said they should fight in