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Howard started off the show saying that this was a 'live' show after having a week off. He said that the weather was nice there in New York on Memorial Day Weekend. He said he woke up and there was no Fred there so it was a bit different for him not seeing Fred around him for the whole week.
Howard said he read a book over vacation, called ''The Kite Runner,'' and it was given to him by Artie's girlfriend Dana. He said the book was so good that he read it all in one day. He got obsessed with it and had to finish it in a day. Robin also read the book so she talked about it with Howard. Howard's only complaint was that there were no pictures in the book. He said he would have put some in there if he had written it.
Artie mentioned that there was a book that he read about Hank Aaron that was really good. Howard mentioned that there's a book about Babe Ruth out now too. Artie has that one as well. That book is called ''The Big Bam : The Life and Times of Babe Ruth'' and they claim that Babe's nickname as a child was ''nig*** lips.'' Fred played a clip from the audio book for that book and that got the guys talking about how they don't' believe the claims because they have no way of knowing if Babe was called the N-word more than Jackie Robinson was.
The woman said that Las Vegas is a tipping town and that's what people live off of out there. Howard was bored by her call and told her that so she snapped and went off on him saying that maybe he's cheap and she hit on a nerve. Howard called her an annoying cunt and hung up on her.
The guys spent some time talking about tipping out in Vegas and how everyone is looking for money out there. Artie said if he wins at a table while playing cards or something, he'll tip the dealer. If he loses though, he won't give the guy a tip.
Howard said that people expect money from him just because of who he is. He claims that he does tip well and the claims that he doesn't just aren't true.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's kind of tired of them taking vacation every week. Howard said that they've taken less vacation here than they did at terrestrial radio. They don't take off every week, that's ridiculous.
Howard said he was listening to the Ralph Roast while they were on vacation and got some ideas for what he wants to do on Thursday night when they tape the Artie Roast. He said they're going to do a second show on Thursday night where they roast Artie and that show will be replayed on Friday morning.
Howard played the audio of Miss Howard Stern singing along to some country song. He said that she was really drunk that morning after drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. Robin said she saw that on Howard TV and saw that Andrea just downed the whole bottle of Jack. Howard said that it's interesting how well she knew that song and how it shows that music makes for a great teaching tool. If they had just written those lyrics down on a piece of paper, she would never learn them.
A woman called in and said that she believes that Howard is a good tipper and he's probably better than Paul Simon even though she's never served him before. She was basing that by the money he makes so she had no proof of that.
Howard took another call from a woman who asked Howard to play a clip that she hasn't heard lately that they played pretty early on. Howard said he'd see what he could do. She was telling Howard how she convinced her husband to get SIRIUS after he said he was going to get XM. That led to Howard talking about how SIRIUS is gaining on XM in how well they're known. He said they're claiming that it's because of him that people know SIRIUS better now.
Robin said that Martha Stewart is going to be on QVC selling SIRIUS radios soon and that's what Howard wanted to do months ago. Howard said Martha should be on there because tons of women that watch QVC love Martha.
Howard found the audio clip that the caller had suggested. It was a preacher who was complaining about lesbians and how it's ruining our society because his son wasn't able to get a date to his prom. That led to Howard and the guys goofing on the preacher saying that it's probably his son, not the lesbians, that's the problem. The preacher seemed to be a bit confused because he was talking about ass play while talking about lesbians.
Howard said he knows that people are going to get pissed because nothing was really going on in the episode. He figures that people will watch the final 8 episodes when they start up later in the year though. The guys spent a few minutes talking about how much they've liked this season. Howard said he'd like to get Julianna Margulies on the phone to ask her if that was really her body in that episode. He doesn't need her for a full interview, just a quick phone call to ask her about that.
Howard said he likes that show even if nothing big happened in that episode. Artie said he wants to see more every week after watching the show. He can't get enough of it. Robin said she doesn't understand why Tony continues to go to therapy after everything that's gone on. Howard said that James Gandolfini has gained a lot of weight. He's getting scary fat now.
JD came in and said that the best thing on the episode was AJ's new hot girlfriend. Since JD was in Robin brought up the fact that he was down in Hedonism before they left for vacation. Gary was saying that he talked to JD about the trip and he was acting all goofy as usual while explaining what went on down there. JD said it wasn't so easy to get laid down there. All he got was a hand job.
Artie went into his preacher impression that he was doing earlier and goofing on JD a bit. Gary said that JD was telling him about how a porn chick wanted to hook up with him but he didn't think she could really be into him. Then when they were leaving, he figured out that she was really into him but it was too late because the trip was over. Howard replayed the audio of the preacher going off on Lesbians and goofed on JD a little more.
Artie said that JD couldn't get laid if he was in a female prison with a pack of cigarettes. He was still doing his preacher impression. Howard asked JD about the second hand job that JD got down there at Hedonism. JD was trying to share but he doesn't tell the best stories. He made it sound like it was a tragedy when he got the hand job.
Howard said they had a picture of JD up on the web site and some people thought it was disgusting that he was getting that done to him down there. Gary said that JD doesn't want to do any work to get laid, he just wants a woman who wants to fuck him to come and do him without him doing any work. He asked JD if he dropped the show name and tried to get laid down there. JD said he did give it a try but it wasn't so easy to find single chicks down there.
JD said that it was worth going down to Hedonism because he got to see a lot of stuff. It was also his first trip outside of the United States. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later and took some phone calls. One guy said that JD dropped the ball down there at Hedonism but wasn't making a lot of sense so Howard hung up on him. Another guy asked for tickets to the Artie Roast but Howard didn't have any to give him.
A phone caller told Howard he saw David Spade at some fight with some bottles of booze that he got from his hotel room or something. Spade was at an Ultimate Fighting Championship fight and they caught him on camera drinking out of some tiny booze bottles. Howard said he thinks he's on the outs with Spade right now because of the stuff that went on with the Time magazine article that Spade wrote about him. He tried to explain to Spade why he said what he said but Spade hasn't called him back since then.
Howard said that some of the good stuff on ''The Sopranos'' last night was the use of the music. Howard was saying that it's not that easy to get the rights to use some songs in movies and TV shows. He said he wanted to use a Jimi Hendrix song in his movie in a scene where he was smoking pot but the Jimi Hendrix foundation wouldn't allow it. They would let them use the song but not in a drug scene.
Howard said he had a guy in a FedEx truck pull up next to him the other day and told him he was loving the replay of the Ralph roast. Howard said that's what the SIRIUS TV commercial should have been instead of the dopey concept they're using for the commercials that are airing now.
Fred played Rolling Stones song that Howard really liked while they were talking about how great the use of music is in The Sopranos. They were also talking about the use of music in movies and other TV shows. Sometimes the music fits perfectly with the scenes that they're used in.
Artie said he was hanging out with some music industry people over the vacation and asked them what they look for in bands today. They all said that the people have to be pretty, that's all they look for. Howard had to go to a commercial break a short time later.
Howard said that he read that Ian was telling people that when he was working for Page Six, if they didn't like a certain celebrity, they would just bash them by printing stories about them. These days when they write about Paris Hilton, they call her ''Celeb-u-tard.'' That's the kind of stuff they do to people. Howard said that's why he doesn't ever want to cross Richard Johnson.
Ian was telling a story about how someone wanted him kicked out of a party one time because they thought he was eavesdropping. It was Ben Affleck's publicist who wanted him kicked out so he ended up ripping on Ben until Ben called him and explained that it was his publicist who was being the asshole that night.
Howard said that Richard Johnson was picked up for drunk driving over the weekend and he won't even talk about that. Artie asked Howard who he would rather bash if he had to do it for an hour, John Gotti Jr. or Richard Johnson. Howard said he would probably kill himself before bashing either one of them.
Artie asked Ian why they make certain people famous like this guy who was dating Kate Moss. He's not well known but putting him in the paper makes him famous. Ian said they do that on purpose to point out what these people really are.
Ian was saying that there are some people who could have kept bad stories out of the paper if they had just done what they were asked. Howard said that could be considered extortion if they were asking for money to keep stories out of the paper. Ian said that's not exactly what happened though. Ian was going off on some of the people who work for Page Six. He was also saying that he wasn't allowed to write negative comments about certain things when he was working at Page Six because they're run by Newscorp. He said he wasn't able to write negative things about the FCC or about certain people because that's the type of business they are.
Howard read that Ian was once told not to write anything negative about Nicole Kidman because she was dating someone who was related to someone who worked for the company. Ian told Howard that the ugly picture that they used to use for Howard over at Page Six was deleted by someone over there so they couldn't use it anymore. There are people there who like Howard and would do things like that for him.
Howard gave Ian another plug for his book ''Welcome to Yesterday : A Novel'' and wrapped up with him a short time later.
Robin asked Howard another hypothetical question about who he would bash if he was forced to do it... would it be Mike Walker or Richard Johnson. Howard said he would probably go after Mike Walker because he's not as viscous as Richard Johnson is.
The guys eventually found the channel and checked out Imus in his cowboy outfit. Howard described what he was seeing. Imus was at his cancer ranch and doing an interview with people who were at his studio in New York. Howard said that Imus has really aged because his neck is really wrinkly. He said that Imus has a bad hair cut with a bad tapestry behind him at the ranch. They kept cutting away from him while he was trying to watch.
Robin said she heard Imus talking about his iPod and how he wasn't able to hook it up. Howard figures that Imus is trying to stay contemporary so that's why he's talking about his iPod. He was also saying that people are afraid of pissing off Imus even though he's got a 2 share in the morning. Howard said that SIRIUS has over 4 million subscribers right now and they already have more of an audience than a show like ''The View'' has every morning. Their audience is probably bigger than the audience that watches The Tonight Show. Gary said that hasn't been a problem as far as booking guests. No one has questioned that part of the show when they try to book guests. Howard said that Imus is on a ton of stations but he probably doesn't even have 4 million listeners.
Howard also watched an episode of The View last week and said that Jennifer Aniston was on and just won't reveal anything. She still won't say that she's dating Vince Vaughn and she kept playing with her hair. He said he's got a great drinking game from that show. He said that people could drink each time Jennifer pushed back her bangs and they'd have a great game there.
Howard got on the subject of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie after talking about Jennifer Aniston. He said that Brad's fun is all over now that he's had a baby with Angelina. She won't even let him go promote a movie, he has to stay home and take care of the kids. He doesn't believe that he's in love and wants to stay home taking care of the kids.
Howard told Gary to get Kathy Griffin in there so he could ask her about this D-list show of hers. He thought he might have to take a break but Fred told him to just go for it and screw the break. Kathy came in a short time later so Howard said that someone was trying to compare her face with Nicole Bass' face and now that he sees Kathy, he feels that she's much more feminine.
Howard asked Kathy who she thinks is on this D-list that she talks about. She mentioned names like Mario Lopez, Darva Conger and Coolio as just a few. She said that Coolio is a list jumper though because he can be a D-list or move up when he's got a hit song. Howard asked Kathy if she thinks Roseanne is an A-list celebrity. Kathy believes that she is. Howard said he just spoke to Roseanne last night on the phone and talked to her about her going on the road to do comedy again.
Howard asked Kathy how long ago she got married because he wanted to know more about the guy's weight loss. She said it was about 6 years ago. After they got married he blew up and got really fat. He eventually went on a diet and lost over 100 pounds and then they filed for divorce. Howard wondered if he was going out and getting laid after losing the weight. Kathy didn't want to say what went on because her show premieres tomorrow night and she doesn't want to talk about that stuff yet.
Kathy eventually broke down and said that she and Matt are technically divorced now. Howard asked her more about that but she didn't want to get into too many details. Kathy said that she is divorced from Matt but they have reconciled and they are living together again. That works for them and that's the way they're going to keep it for now.
Kathy said she doesn't want to talk about that stuff too much because her husband isn't in show business. Robin said that he's on TV with her though. She said he fixes computers for a living though. Howard asked Kathy about her relationship with Brooke Shields since she got into a fight a while back. Kathy said that Brooke hates her now.
Howard said he'd like to know what's going on with her and her husband. Kathy said that she will talk about it some day but not now. Her new show starts on Bravo tomorrow night and the show isn't about that. Howard kept trying but he wasn't getting any information out of her.
Howard asked Kathy about her eye since she claims to have lost vision after having Lasik surgery. She said she's lost 30 percent of the vision in her right eye and she's going around telling people about the dangers of the surgery. Howard asked Kathy about the new season of ''The D-List'' and let her get in some plugs for the Bravo show.
Howard asked Kathy why she won't go on the Tonight Show these days. She said that Jay banned her from the show after the way he was portrayed on her show last year. She said that she broke down and cried after he made a comment about her and they showed that on her show. She said she's also banned from David Letterman's show and even The View. She thinks that she might be banned from that show because of the Star Jones material she uses in her act. She also claims that she's banned from Ellen Degeneres' show now as well because of the way she bashes other celebrities.
Kathy once tried to call into the Ryan Seacrest show one time but he hung up on her when she asked him about the picture of him and Teri Hatcher. She said that Ryan was trying to get her going by talking about her plastic surgery and stuff. She said she then asked him about the Teri Hatcher picture and he hung up on her. She said that the picture looks like girl on girl action to her and he looks very unnatural while kissing a woman. Kathy explained what she said to Ryan and how he got upset about that and ended up hanging up on her. She said she could picture Ryan sitting there with his baby rattle and crying about how it was his show. She said that Ryan told her that he wasn't going to let her talk about his friends and hung up on her. She claims that she really doesn't care that she's banned from all of these shows.
Kathy told Howard about the shows she did in Iraq for the troops with a few of her friends. She said they did take some mortar fire while they were over there and she could feel the explosions. Howard said he would get his ass out of there quick if something like that happened to him.
Howard wrapped up with Kathy and gave her a plug for her web site KathyGriffin.net. Robin was very confused by her marriage and tried to figure out what was going on there but it seemed to confuse her more when she asked about it. Artie said that he couldn't care less about her marriage or about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. None of that interests him at all. Howard seemed to think that Kathy's strange marriage was very interesting.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Kathy if she was wearing panties. She said she was wearing pants but no panties this morning. She said she shaves down some of her bush but not all of it. She also said that the carpet matches the drapes as well. She said that some people would call that the ''fire crotch.''
One caller asked Kathy if she would wipe her snatch with a paper towel and then mail it to him. She said she would do that for him so Howard put him on hold so they could take his name and address. Another caller asked if she would take him in her back door. She said she would do that as well. The next caller said that Kathy's husband came off as a bit of a douche last season on her show. He described the guy as having big baloney tits and stuff like that. He asked Kathy if she ever licked those big sausage tits. She said she did do that.
Howard wanted to see Benjy's sausage tits since he's got pretty big ones. He told Kathy to lick those things while he had them out. Howard thought the guy who asked for her to wipe her snatch and put it into a zip-lock bag was great.
Howard talked about Kathy's Lasik surgery and said that he would never mess with his eyes. He said he actually likes being able to take off his glasses and not be able to see anything. He said he does that at restaurants so he doesn't have to see the other people there.
Howard had the audio from Ryan Seacrest's show where he hung up on Kathy. He played that clip and Ryan told Kathy that he wasn't going to let her be mean to his friends and just hung up on her. Kathy said that his people called her back a few days later and said that she was spreading a rumor that he had hung up on her. She said that he did hang up on her but they edited it to make it sound like he didn't. Howard wrapped up and went to break shortly after that.
Howard said that he saw Nelly Furtado on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and she was looking pretty good in the belly shirt and low cut jeans.
Howard mentioned that Doug Goodstein's wife Marlo is pregnant and he saw that coming when Doug announce that he was moving out to Long Island. Doug came in a short time later. Artie wasn't aware that Doug's wife was Jewish so he was surprised when Howard said that she was. Doug said they'll find out in a couple of weeks what they're having.
Howard congratulated Doug but told him he's going to be in a living hell for a while. Doug said he's got so much going on right now in his life that it's crazy. He said he just sold his apartment and now he's trying to find a house but it's not that easy. Howard said Doug is looking in Syosset but he tried telling Doug that it's not a good place for Jews. Doug said that there are a lot of Asians moving into the area right now and that makes the schools better and better.
Howard said that Syosset was known as ''Israel light'' years ago. Doug said that they Jews aren't leaving the area in droves but the Asians are moving in. Howard said the Jews will always leave an area if there are too many other ethnicities there. Howard said that when you're born a Jew, you're a Jew and have no choice. It's the only religion like that.
Gary said he got an explanation from their friend Ross about the Jewish thing. He was told by Ross that he had to marry a Jew because if Jews stop marrying other Jews, some day there won't be any Jews left. Howard said ''So what?'' Doug said that was basically drilled into his head over the years as well.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked Howard if he heard Paul Mooney giving him props on Bubba's show last week. Howard did hear that and thought it was one of the best interviews he's heard Bubba do. Mooney revealed that Richard Pryor once banged Barbara Walters so Howard and the guys talked about that a little bit.
The woman also offered her condolences to Jeff ''The Drunk'' because his mother passed away last week. Gary came in and said that he hopes that Jeff doesn't get mad at him but the family had to take her off of life support and Jeff called and asked them not to play the voice mails that they were playing. He also said that Jeff called and asked them not to make a mockery of the thing by sending the Howard 100 News team to the funeral.
The woman also asked Howard to talk about the firing of the news team there at Howard 100 News. Howard said they let 3 reporters go because of budget cuts. They had to let Mike Piazza go and he was kind of upset about that because he liked the guy. Gary said that he'll still be back to do some vacation coverage during the summer.
Howard said he's not addressing anything to do with the tapes that he got control of when his lawsuit was settled. He said he's not sure what he can comment on so he's giving a big ''No Comment'' right now.
Artie said that Richard Christy left in the middle of that concert they went to because he wanted to go home and play his drums. Artie said he didn't know that Richard had left so he had to call him and ask him where he was. Richard said he has an electronic drum set that he can play while wearing headphones. Howard asked Richard if he's still jerking off often. Richard said he likes to jerk off on pictures of women so he will take copies of the National Enquirer and jerk off on the faces of the chicks in there.
Gary was telling Howard that he has a locked cabinet there in the bathroom that he uses for a Water-Pik and one day he found a Sybian attachment next to it one day. He had stopped locking it and figures that it was Sal who stuck it in there. Now he's locking it again.
Howard was saying that he likes to keep baby wipes in his bathroom because that's what he likes to use to wipe his ass. Richard Christy said he once used so many baby wipes that he clogged his toilet with them so he doesn't use them anymore.
Gary said he went to a bathroom in the airport recently and heard sounds that you never hear anywhere. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that.
Howard said that Eric is so delusional that his parents probably aren't mad at him. Eric told him to call them himself and find out. Eric said his parent think they treat him really bad. Howard said that's right but he doesn't have to call them either.
Howard pointed out that he's not taking Tabitha Stevens up on her offer to have sex with him. Eric said he's not going to be with a woman who has been with so many guys. Howard said he'd throw in a hand job for his dad too if he wanted. Eric remained silent. Howard said he thinks that his parents may be jealous of his fame.
Robin asked Eric if his parents wanted something from them or if he just called to let them know. Eric said he just wanted to let them know what was going on. Howard said there's nothing wrong with measuring his penis. Eric said he doesn't want to do anything to disappoint his parents. Howard told him if he keeps listening to his parents, he won't be calling in, he'll be sitting home miserable not being able to call the show anymore.
Eric let Howard know that he called Katherine McPhee and left another message for her. He said he still hasn't heard back from her though. Gary asked Howard if they're still interested in having her on the show. Howard said he's interested so Gary let him know that he called her and she told him that she's not booking her appearances herself, FOX is doing it for her.
Gary asked Eric what he'd be willing to do to meet Katherine. Eric isn't willing to shit in a diaper like Howard asked him to do. Eric said he won't urinate or move his bowels in there. He won't let Richard vomit on him or play ''Guess what's in my ass.'' Howard told Eric that he'll have him in the studio to meet Katherine but he has to do one of 3 things:
Howard told Eric that they'll tie like 100 party balloons to him and see if he flies. He thought that was fair. Eric didn't see it that way and said he won't do that either.
Captain Janks called in and said that over the past 20 years he's done some really fucked up things and his parents weren't very happy with him. He said that he just has to stop listening to his parents and move on. He said he used to tell his parents that everything on the show was made up but they eventually caught on. He advised Eric not to listen to his parents so much. Howard said that Eric is supported by his parents though so he kind of has to listen to them. Janks said that they're going to love him no matter what he does though so he should just do it.
Janks said that he's actually been living with his parents for 6 months now... and he's 40 years old. Eric said he's trying not to screw up his brother's wedding by doing anything wrong. Howard said that Eric must be jealous of his brother. Eric said he's not jealous at all. He kept bringing up this show ''Little People, Big World'' because there's a similar situation going on with that show and it shows that there is no jealousy there. Howard said he was talking about his life, not some TV show though.
Gary brought in the web site reference that Eric was talking about from Wikipedia so Howard quickly read through that. Howard told Eric to call them back when he's ready to do something to meet Katherine McPhee. They wanted to do that 100 helium balloon thing right there in the studio so the farthest he would fall is about 10 feet. They had a little bit of fun talking about how that might go. Howard was doing his impression of Eric and goofing on him. Eric asked Artie how many Yankees they lost over the weekend. Artie told him not to worry about that, the Yanks will be there in October.
Howard told Eric he had to go and said he was sorry he had to deal with his parents like that. He suggested that he just tell his parents that he didn't really measure his penis. He let him go a short time later. Eric gave his trademark good bye which is ''Bye for now.''
Fred looked up weather balloons on his computer to see how much weight they could lift. They figured that Eric would float away if they hooked him up to one of those. Bong Hit Eric called in and told Howard that he was laughing his ass off when he heard the ideas they had for him. Eric the Midget wasn't laughing at all. Artie said that he laughed just one time when Will told him a sports joke. Other than that he doesn't laugh.
Howard was also talking about how he was one of the only straight guys to say that he loved ''Brokeback Mountain'' and both of them were in it. Artie didn't know that they were both in the movie because he hasn't seen it yet.
Howard said it was kind of embarrassing for him to get blown off by Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger. Now it's made him gun shy to go up to people when he sees them when he's out. Robin asked if they even knew who he was. Gary and Howard both said ''C'mon...'' to her when she said that. Howard said Michelle knew who she was talking to, Joey Ramone is dead and there's no confusing the two of them anymore.
Gary wondered if he's said something to upset the two of them. He was saying that she's gotten much bigger than she used to be so maybe that's part of it. Howard kicked Gary out of the studio and said he was making more out of this than it was. Fred played him out with a Baba Booey song parody. Howard also said that he loves the video from Gary's wedding that's up on Howard TV now. He had to go to break after that.
Howard said that he got a note from a friend who pointed out that since he moved to satellite, the stories about him are always in the business section instead of the entertainment section of the papers.
Howard read through some notes he had written down over the vacation. He talked a little bit about Jeff the Drunk's mother passing away and about the Michelle Williams thing that he hat just talked about. He also read a quick article about how XM and SIRIUS are about equal in how well they're known now. They credit Howard Stern for bringing SIRIUS up in that poll.
Artie was saying that a lot of people forget that SIRIUS has NFL football and that's a big deal. Howard also brought up how XM is losing NASCAR to SIRIUS as well. They also just had some problems with their tuners sending out too strong of an FM signal so they had to stop production while they adjusted that. He said it seems like they just keep screwing things up.
Penny was telling George that he had the story wrong because that's not the way she pitched the story. A woman called in a short time later and said she was hoping that Penny was one of the reporters that was fired. Penny told the woman that she needs that job. Penny got a story wrong over the weekend about Bubba so they talked about that for a short time. Penny said that Bubba is another weirdo. She sounded like she was about to break down and cry.
George corrected his story about Sal and went through the rest of his preview. Jon Hein was also in so he gave a quick rundown of what they'd be talking about on today's Wrap Up Show. They'll be talking about Kathy Griffin's appearance and about Eric the Midget's phone call today.
Howard said he thinks that Meredith Viera will do a fine job replacing Katie. He's not so sure that Katie will do well as a news anchor. He goofed on her speech a little and created a speech that she could have made about Al Roker. He had clips of Matt Lauer and Al Roker saying their goodbyes to Katie. It was one big ass kiss fest. Willard Scott sang a song to Katie that was awful. Howard didn't think he sounded all that thrilled with Katie when he was singing the song though. Harvey Firestein also sang a song to her and that was painful to hear according to Howard.
Howard played some audio clips from Tony Danza's final show as well. In the first clip Liza Minelli sang a song to Tony after telling him how upset she was that his show was coming to an end. Fred threw in some Blue Iris audio clips since Liza sounds very similar to her. After Liza's song Tony finishes up by singing his own song which wasn't too far from what Liza's song sounded like. Howard said that voice warble reminds him of Curly from the Three Stooges. That led to Fred playing some Curly clips while Howard was playing Liza's song.
Howard said that Tony had a special guest come out and sing too... it was actually Crackhead Bob performing ''Bad Day'' and ''Beautiful.'' That led to Howard playing a new prank call that they had Bob make to a Chinese restaurant. The woman didn't have a clue as to what he was ordering. Bob was getting upset that they didn't know what he was saying. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard got back to the roast and said that should take about an hour and the rest of the show will be like a regular show. James Brown is going to be stopping by and may perform a song for them. Gary didn't think they could pull that off because they had to set up for the roast, but they're going to try and do it anyway.
Howard wants James to perform and they'll back him up. Howard wants to play tambourine while James is singing. Gary can play his trumpet. Howard said he doesn't want to rehearse either. Sal is going to play bass so Howard said he wants to play guitar then. Fred is going to help Howard figure out how to play the guitar part of the song. Within minutes he was ready to start rehearsing starting tomorrow.
Howard mentioned that he went fishing over the vacation and got chased by a swan. He said the thing came full force on top of the water like it wanted to get him. He said he caught about 15 fish while he was out but threw them all back in. He said he was out on his own and he was loving it. Robin was very surprised to hear that he was enjoying it. He claims that he was fishing on his own but Robin didn't believe that. Howard said a friend of his gave him the boat to borrow. He rowed out to the fishing area and sat there for what seemed like 2 or 3 hours... He said it was probably 5 minutes.
Gary and Robin didn't believe a word of what Howard was saying. Artie said it's complete bullshit. Howard claims he caught some sunfish, bass and perch and let them all go. He said he doesn't use bait, he uses lures and he carries a needle nose pliers with him to pull the hook out of the fish's mouth. He said he really hates when his line gets tangled and he has to untangle it. He said that drives him nuts.
Artie said he went fishing with his dad as a kid and doesn't remember it being all that pleasant. Howard said he feels the same way and now realizes that fishing is pleasant without your dad. He's not sure he'd want to go fishing with his father now because he probably couldn't even get in the boat. Howard said he went fishing a couple of days in a row and now Howard TV wants to shoot him fishing but that probably won't happen.
The more the guy on the phone spoke, the less it sounded like he had taken too much of the acid. The guy said he hadn't slept all night. Howard thanked him for the call and had Robin start her news.
During the news Hook Nose Mike called in and said he ran into Ralph down in Tampa over the weekend and became a fan of his. He was hanging out with him, Bubba and his crew down there and had a great time. Howard said that having Bubba there has worked out well so far. Mike said that Brent (Bubba's producer) was a nice guy and was talking about how they're one big family there at SIRIUS now. Howard said there were people who thought he was nuts to bring Bubba on but now they realize that it was a good decision.
Howard read an e-mail he got about the Death Pool and whatever happened to that. Howard said he now wants to bring it back even though he was the one who put a stop to it years ago because he didn't like it anymore. There was some e-mail about the comments Howard made about Pierce Brosnan's wife. The writer said that some guys might like that look. Howard doesn't believe that. Some people are happy that Crackhead Bob is back on the show. Others are disturbed by the before and after pictures of Artie that are on HowardStern.com. He may not be recognizable by the time his movie ''Beer League'' comes out.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she became a fan of the show after taking possession of a SIRIUS radio that she had given a boyfriend who held her at gun point and threatened to kill her. She said she heard the show and became a fan. She thanked Howard for helping her get through the whole ordeal earlier this year. Howard said that's the kind of story they need for SIRIUS TV commercials and he'd like to know if they can buy her story.
A phone caller asked Howard if they were going to get Jackie in on the Artie Roast this week. Howard said he's pretty sure they asked him if he would do it but he's too busy to do it. Gary said he asked Jackie to do it but he's got some family thing to do. Howard thinks that even though Jackie will do the Raw Dog comedy show every Wednesday, for free, he won't do their show for free. It's all got to do with money. Gary said he has asked Jackie to come in and sit in on the show like other comedians do but he has yet to hear back from him.
Another phone caller told Artie how bad his bald spot looked on Howard TV on one of the shows he was watching. Howard said that hair replacement must be getting better these days because he knows of some guys who have done things to their hair and he can barely tell. Artie said that his doctor told him that his hair will probably stay the way it is because he's 38 now and it probably won't get worse. Artie said he'll never shave his head because he hates that look.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started off the show talking about the date since it was 6/6/06. He said that there are some women kooky enough that they don't want their kids born on 6/6/06 so they had themselves induced yesterday to make sure the kid wasn't born today. Robin wondered if the woman has Damien inside of her and she has it a day early, is it still Damien?
Howard said that this guy Greg Gordon who went to jail for threatening President Reagan is coming in today. So is Misty the prostitute who was so whacked out of her mind that they gave her a radio show. Gary came in and talked about this guy Greg Gordon who actually broke into President Reagan's house, he didn't just threaten the guy.
Howard said Riley Martin returns tonight to do another show on Howard 101. He must have accepted the $200 deal to do his show. Robin said that there was a card sitting in her booth that said ''Warning: 9 out of 10 nig***s are polluted by AIDS.'' Gary came in and said that the card may have been left in there by Daniel Carver when he was in for the roast a couple of months ago. They may have found it while cleaning and left it on Robin's desk.
Artie said he got a list of all of the comedians that are going to be there and he's preparing jokes for them. He knows that he'll be roasted about a lot of stuff that's gone on in his life. He's pretty sure that if the roasters want to get really viscous, they'll talk about his father falling off a roof and things like that.
Howard talked about how they have to work on performing ''Hot Pants'' just in case James Brown does show up. Artie said that the comedians who are going to roast him include Nick Di Paolo, Colin Quinn, Shuli, Yucko the Clown, Rev. Bob Levy, Mariann from Brooklyn and Lisa Lampanelli.
Howard said that Jeffrey Ross was asked to roast Artie but when Gary asked him to do it, he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it. Gary came in and said that Jeffrey was asking about money and if they were going to be giving it to charity. Ross thought that they have a ton of money over there at SIRIUS so they should be giving some to charity. Everyone said that they really don't have a lot of money there because SIRIUS isn't making any yet.
Howard said that Jeffrey has Jackie Martling syndrome and won't come on the show because they're not giving any money to charity. Howard said Ross has wanted to come on the show for a long time but now that they've invited him, he's not coming in.
Gary said they asked David Spade and Norm Macdonald to do the roast but neither of them will be around. Howard said there are some pictures up on SternFanNetwork of David Spade who looks like he's gained quite a bit of weight.
Artie said he stayed up to watch The Tonight Show last night because Bruce Springsteen and Jessica Alba were both on. He said that Spade was in town and he didn't get a call from him. He usually gets a call from him when he's in town. JD came in and told the guys that it was actually a repeat of Conan last night so Spade probably wasn't in town. JD also said that Kimmel's show is repeated on Thursday nights.
Howard read another article about how Adam Carolla's show may be cut in the next month or two depending on whether or not he can get his ratings up. CBS may replace him with Opie and Anthony. There was also a story about this guy Rover who replaced Howard in some markets and how his producer has quit after just 5 months.
Artie said that he heard that Joel Hollander told Opie and Anthony that they were going to eventually get all of Howard's old markets. Howard brought up the indecency law that's about to be passed that will raise fines to 10 times the amount that they were.
Howard played some more of the Top 5 songs and found that Nelly Furtado was on the list. He talked about seeing her on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and said that she was so hot. He said that Shakira is hotter than Nelly is. He said that Shakira looks like she just needs to be banged hard. Shakira's song wasn't in the top 5 that he had. Gary told Howard that the top 5 he had was a new top 5 but Howard didn't understand what he meant. Gary said he was relaying the message he was getting from Sal. Sal told Gary that the list Howard had was the new Top 5.
Howard told Gary that he's gained a lot of weight. He said he's been eating desert himself lately and he used to not eat stuff like that or drink booze. Now he's doing both. Beth made brownies the other night and she can eat that stuff no problem but when he eats it, he gains weight. He told Beth that she's killing him.
Gary said that when he watched his old Wedding video on Howard TV, he noticed that Howard is the only one who lost weight. Everyone else has gained weight and lost hair.
Howard talked more about the Shakira song and how it's the most played song on radio right now. She's at number 9 on the charts. He was all over the place and changed subjects to this three armed Chinese baby that he saw video of yesterday. He said the video is available on Wimp.com. Howard said that it's almost like an X-Men type of story. Artie didn't know much about the X-Men stories so he asked Howard what that's all about. Howard went into a whole explanation about the X-Men and their special powers. Howard said that maybe this baby's arm should be left on because maybe that's the future of human beings.
Robin read a statement that Brad and Angelina released after their baby was born. As she was reading it Fred played a new clip of Crackhead Bob going ''Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla...''
Howard got back to the discussion he was having first thing this morning about women who are avoiding having their babies on 6/6/06. He read an article about a woman who had her baby born via C-section so that her child wouldn't be made fun of in school. She claims that she's not superstitious, she just didn't want her kid to be made fun of... like anyone would even know.
Howard asked Gary where his Kathleen Turner audio clips were that they used to play over at K-Rock. Gary said that they're still adding stuff to the system and they haven't gotten to that yet. Howard told him that they've been there for 6 months already so it should have been done already. Howard told him that they're bringing over more stuff so he's really going to be swamped soon.
Howard said he's been getting a lot of mail about why he hasn't talked about the settlement with his lawsuit. He said he can't talk about it yet but he and Robin have a meeting with a lawyer about what they can and can't talk about so tomorrow they'll be able to talk about whatever they're allowed to talk about.
Howard brought up a story about a rapist who was released after serving time for raping Kelly McGillis. The guy is now being accused of raping another woman. He also quickly went over the indecency fine story and how they will probably be passing the law soon. They will be raising the fines from $32,500 to $325,000 per offense.
Howard asked who Sam is and why he's writing to him about this stuff. He told Sam to stop listening to the show. He said that he's not going to be able to fish after reading that article. Fred mentioned that boxing damages the brains of human beings and Sam manages a boxer. He seems to be more worried about dogs and fish than he is about human beings.
Howard said that whenever he'd release the fish after fishing, the fish would look kind of dead and wouldn't swim off right away. He said he would tell Beth that they were just stunned and they would be fine. Now he's not so sure after reading that article.
Howard mentioned that all of the articles that are written about him these days are appearing in the business sections of the paper instead of the radio section. He quickly went through one article about his move and then played an audio clip from a news program where a couple of hosts talked about whether or not XM and SIRIUS should merge or keep battling it out. After listening to that Howard said that if things keep going the way they are, they should be able to just bury XM and get rid of them completely. They won't have to merge or buy them out.
Howard had to go to break a short time after that. He mentioned the guests they had coming in like Jesus (Greg Gordon), and Janice Dickinson. Robin reminded Howard that he was very mean to Janice the last time she was in because she wasn't doing a very good interview. He said he really didn't have any hate toward her, he just didn't understand why she wasn't talking about stuff during that interview. He went to break right after that.
Howard asked if they had a copy of Paris Hilton's new album (Turn It Up) that he could play. Gary said he had it up on his page on the computer. Howard played a song but it was another parody featuring Crazy Alice audio clips. He eventually found the Paris Hilton album. He said that one review said that she didn't sound horrible in the song because they can do so much in the studio. She'll never go out and tour though because she probably doesn't sound that good live.
Howard played Paris' song ''Stars are Blind'' and said that it will never be a hit because it doesn't have a hook... and it's not a good song. He said all is well with the world now that he's heard how bad it is.
Howard played a clip where David talked about taking over Howard Stern's spot at CBS. Roth says he's not mad at Les Moonves but he never really heard from him when he was over there either. Roth said he thinks that the plan all along was to bring Opie and Anthony on and he was just there to fill in for a few months. Howard interrupted and said he doesn't think that's the case. He said that Dave does deserve the money he's being paid since he was humiliated by CBS when they fired him. Roth said he's getting offers from both satellite companies and offers from other places as well.
Neal mentioned something about Howard wanting to go back to terrestrial radio so Howard had to interrupt again and say that he won't be doing that and doesn't want to do that. Neal asked Roth if he thinks Howard made the right move going to satellite with much less of a listenership. Roth said that Howard is thinking 7 moves ahead and he knows what he's doing. Neal asked Roth if he's getting the money he was supposed to when he was fired. Roth said that he's working that out with his lawyers as they speak.
Neal asked Roth if he and Eddie Van Halen are talking right now. Roth said that Eddie is the only one who isn't talking to him at this point. He's not sure what his issues are. Roth was rambling a bit while giving his side of the story and Neal said he had no idea what he was talking about at one point.
Howard was getting lost trying to understand what Roth was talking about just like Neal was. Neal would ask a question and Roth would ramble not making much sense. Howard said that Roth is looking to get paid the full contract he's due and there's no reason he shouldn't fight for it. Robin said she doesn't think the Van Halen reunion is happening. Howard said he's not sure how much longer Eddie has left to live after seeing some pictures of him recently. He looks horrible according to Howard.
Artie said that Roth is making sense talking about getting back together with the band and going out on tour like the Rolling Stones are doing. He said that the whole band is alive and they could be raking in the money if they were on tour. Artie said that touring with Roth is probably tough to take. After hearing him in that interview Artie seemed to understand why the band hasn't gotten back together.
Howard said he thinks that Van Halen could get back together and just not spend too much time together unless they're on stage. He said he's been doing that with Fred for many years, he's only said about 3 words to him.
Lisa said they did some stories about High Pitch Eric and the money he still owes to people and now a limo driver is pissed because Eric bounced a $2,400 check and the guy is coming to collect. Lisa said they'll be talking about that and also about the date 6/6/06 and whether or not it's really cursed.
Howard said that Fred was trying to teach him how to play ''Hot Pants'' and they couldn't have picked a worse song to perform. Gary came in and told Howard that they could pick another song if they wanted to. They don't have to do Hot Pants. Howard wanted to stick with Hot Pants. Fred played some guitar and said that they really have to rehearse because Gary is going to be paying trumpet and there are some tough parts in there.
Fred played James Brown's ''Hot Pants'' and Gary said he's going to have to see some sheet music to figure out what to play. Gary also said that they're not even sure if James is going to make it there on Thursday. This may all be a waste of time.
Howard said they'll do a show on Thursday morning, go home, take a nap and then come back and do a second show at 6pm so they can do the Artie Roast. They'll do some drinking, talk and maybe have James Brown in. Fred found part of the song that Gary is going to have to try and play that won't be so easy. Howard asked if there were any people on the staff who can play Sax or Trumpet. Benjy can play the Shofar so he played that a little bit. It didn't sound much worse than Gary's trumpet playing would.
Howard said he's still trying to figure out if he wants to play guitar or keyboards when they perform that song. He said that they need 2 guitars. Howard wanted to hear Gary's part again so Fred played that while Gary attempted to play the trumpet. It wasn't happening. Gary played a little bit and said he should be able to get a little better by the time Thursday rolls around. He's got the sheet music and he will be practicing.
Lisa got back to her news preview and said that they found a balloon company that can make the balloon thing happen with Eric the Midget. Howard said he'd love for that to happen and Eric would have to come in and do that to meet Katherine McPhee.
Gary came in and said that they have a bunch of Eric the Midget stuff to play so he told Howard where the audio clips were. There was one clip where Tabitha Stevens left a voice mail and said she'd like to meet Eric in person so she can show him her naked body. Howard said that if he was Eric he would just do Tabitha. She wants to do him but Eric doesn't want any part of that. Tabitha talked about what she would do to Eric and how she would treat him.
Howard had Eric on the phone a short time later and asked him if he was listening to this. Eric only heard a little bit of it so Howard started it over again. Tabitha can't believe that Eric won't do her and she really wants him to do her. Tabitha was saying she wants to jerk him off and then take him to a hotel where she can bang the fuck out of him.
Howard asked Eric if it got him a little worked up. Eric said ''nope'' so Howard told him he's got to be gay. Eric said he's not gay. Howard said he's going to make him move back to his parents lake house. He went on to play another audio clip where Eric accepted the balloons strapped to his chair challenge. Howard said he doesn't want Eric in his chair when they do that. They want to have Eric levitating at least 5-6 inches off the ground while out of his chair. Eric said it's not happening then. Howard doesn't care if it doesn't happen, it's Eric's loss, not his.
Howard said that maybe they could get Eric 2 inches off the ground so he could walk. He was hoping to give him enough balloons to make him like Superman. He said he could float him down to Scott Greenstein's office and they'd give him his own show. Eric said he will only accept the offer if he's in his chair when they tie the balloons to him.
Eric wants to be strapped into his chair and to have a helmet on when he's floating. Artie said that safety concerns always ruin fun. He doesn't believe that a helmet will help. Howard told Eric that he'll be safe out of the chair, he doesn't have to worry about that. Robin was laughing and asked if they could put him in a Superman outfit. Eric said he will just wear regular clothes, no outfits.
Howard asked if they could float Eric in a baby crib or bassinet. Eric said that would be humiliating, so he won't be doing that. Howard asked if they could float him in a pizza box. No to that one was well. Howard said that they will make sure that this is safe, he doesn't need to be in the chair to be safe. He figured they'd give him a day to think about it since that's what he needed for the whole balloon idea. Robin said that she would even fly with Eric if he wanted.
Bobo called in and told Eric to bang Tabitha already and enjoy himself. He said he may not have a lot of time left on this planet so he should enjoy his life. Bobo asked Eric how much longer he has left. Eric said he's getting sick and tired of this stuff and wants them to drop the Tabitha Stevens thing. He doesn't want to hear about it anymore. Howard told him that he's not trying to torture him, he's offering him the chance to get laid. Eric said he's tired of being asked about it through his Myspace account.
Howard can't believe that Eric won't give in to getting laid so easily. He got back to the message that Eric left where he said that he wasn't going to do anything that was more humiliating or degrading than what was initially offered. Eric also said that there has to be more of a prize than just meeting Katherine McPhee. He demanded that they have safety harnesses on his chair and at least a construction helmet on his head.
Howard asked Eric what else he wants for doing this thing. Eric said that it has to be the last stupid thing he has to do for the show. Howard said he can't promise that. He asked him if he wanted a kiss from McPhee. Eric said that's not what he was looking for. Howard said he can't get him a hand job from her but Eric said he wasn't looking for that either.
Eric said his roommate would have to come with him. If he took time off he'd be losing money so he would need some money for him. Howard said that's not going to happen. Gary said that Eric is an extortionist. Howard told Eric that he understands some of his demands and he will do the balloon thing the day before McPhee is on. He thought it would be funny to see him float over to the couch when McPhee is there but Eric doesn't want her to know what he did. Howard told him that they will try to get Katherine to hug and kiss him but he's not sure that will happen. He also said he'd try to get her to sing ''Somewhere Over The Rainbow'' to him. He told Eric to think it over and get back to them.
Howard said he thinks that if Eric gets airborne, he may not want to come down. He's pretty sure it'll be a great segment. Robin said that they could have a traffic guy with Eric on the balloon. Howard said he would kidnap Katherine McPhee to make this happen if he had to. He thinks that when Katherine is in there, Eric would want to be on his balloon because he could fly and impress her that way. Robin said that his name, as a super hero, could simply be ''Balloon.''
Howard told Eric he loves him. Eric said if that's true he doesn't understand why he treats him the way he does. Howard said he's not sure why he does either. Howard had Derek the Midget (Shuli?) on the phone who told Eric he was banging Tabitha right then and it felt like Jell-O down there. Eric thought that it was Sal doing the voice but they had Sal walk in and talk at the same time that Derek was speaking.
Howard let Derek go and wrapped up with Eric the Midget. Richard Christy came in and told Howard that they have an old Jerky Boys prank call where they prank called a balloon place to try and get some balloons to do the same thing. Howard played that prank call and got a few laughs out of that. It was very similar to what they wanted to do to Eric so it made the call even funnier.
After the Jerky Boys thing Howard said he had an idea to have some dogs nipping at Eric's feet as he floated. Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks that she wants to come in and smack the shit out of Eric. She said that Eric could realize his dream to meet one of the American Idols and he won't do this stuff. Howard said Eric has to think about it and maybe he will do it.
Another caller told Howard that they should have Eric floating over a rainbow while Katherine McPhee sings ''Somewhere Over The Rainbow.'' Howard wanted to get a Rainbow prop so it looks like that's where he's flying. Eric wasn't interested. Howard told Eric to get back to them about the balloon thing. Eric gave them a ''Bye for now'' as he was getting off the phone. Howard said he thinks that he's coming around and will end up doing the balloon thing.
Lisa G still had some more news to give so she quickly talked about the Artie Roast that's coming up on Thursday. The comedy channel is doing a challenge between Artie and 15 other comedians on their channel. Lisa also mentioned Riley Martin's show that's coming up tonight.
Howard had an audio clip of Oprah Winfrey talking about how the book ''The Color Purple'' changed her life. She was talking to a reporter about that and said that she couldn't breath after reading it. Howard thought she was full of shit as she talked about it.
In another clip Oprah was rambling some double speak that made no sense. Howard said that's Oprah setting herself up to be a religion. She was also saying that she speaks to God often and lives in 'the space' that God is in. She said she thinks that she had the success she had because of that. Howard said the real reason she had the success is because she ripped off Phil Donahue. Oprah continued and said she's there doing what her soul was made to do. Howard said that God doesn't stop 9/11, he's busy making Oprah successful.
Howard asked what happened to Jesus. Gary said they were going to put him up as a phoner. Howard told him he wanted him earlier but now it's getting a little late to put him up. They had to go to break a short time later.
Greg told Howard that he had gotten into Reagan's living room before they caught him. Nancy Reagan was the one who caught him and called Secret Service. He said he never saw Nancy because he was running so fast. The Secret Service guy threatened to blow his head off if he didn't stop so he stopped.
Howard said that must have been pretty scary for the Reagans back then because this guy just walked into their house. Greg said he crawled through a neighbor's yard and then got up over a wall and ran up their driveway right to their front door. He heard a voice in his head say ''try the door'' so that's what he did. He walked into the house and that was it.
Howard asked Greg what he saw when he walked in. He said he didn't see anyone, he just saw four chairs. He later read that Nancy saw him running up the driveway so she called the Secret Service at that point. He didn't know where Ronald was at the time and he's not sure if he would have tried to kill him or not. He didn't have any weapons so he's not sure he could have done anything.
Greg thinks that Ronald Reagan is the Anti-Christ because his names all have 6 numbers in them and he was also shot and came back after being shot. He said that the Antichrist has already come and gone so anyone who has a baby born today has nothing to worry about. He thinks that Reagan has already come and gone so everyone is safe.
Howard said that what's interesting about Jesus here is that he not only broke into Reagan's house, and went to jail... once he got out, he threatened George W. Bush. He did that back in 2002. Greg said he made a statement in a train station in Philadelphia and said that if Bush started a war, he would kill him. He said he had a whole audience of people there at the time. He now knows not to do that again.
Howard said it's funny how this guy can threaten the President and still have a nice apartment in New York City. Gary asked him if he has a flat screen TV. Greg said he doesn't have that but he does have a flat screen monitor on his computer. He only pays $162 a month for rent on the apartment and it's on 37th Street in Manhattan. Greg said it's the noisiest street in the city though.
Howard asked Greg who he dated when he was in jail. Greg said he was with a guy who was a mass murderer. He said he killed 2 people so the guys corrected him and said he wasn't a ''mass'' murderer, just a multiple murderer.
Gary told Howard that Greg is upset about a new Ronald Reagan doll that's out. Greg said that if you search on Yahoo for ''Is the Bible Real'' the doll comes right up. Greg played the audio from the doll that he had there in his apartment.
Howard asked Gary to pull some of the old show audio where Greg here argued with another guy who thought he was Jesus. Greg actually broke down and cried on the show one time when he was on. Greg started to get into his wacky ramblings about the bible and his excuses for giving a guy oral sex while he was in prison.
Howard gave Greg a plug for his web site GregoryGordon.com and said that he's selling a book over there. Howard took a call from a guy who works in a mental institution who said he's got 7 other guys there who say that they're Jesus. Howard said that Greg is at his best when he's arguing with another Jesus person.
Howard heard that Greg got blown by a woman at the mental hospital he was in. Greg said that's true and the chick was kind of cute. He said that she gives good head too. Howard asked if Misty the Prostitute also thought she was Jesus. Gary brought Misty in and she said that she believes that she could be. She was also saying that she doesn't believe that Jesus is going to be a man again. The two of them started their mental case arguments after that. They were arguing about who was really Jesus and who defeated the Antichrist.
Howard said he loves mental cases yelling at each other. He also forgot how kick ass Misty's body was. Gary said that Misty's daughter was there with her. She's 8 years old today and when Will was talking to her, the kid said that she ''bears the mark of the beast'' because today is her birthday.
Howard checked out Misty's body and said he forgot how hot she was. Howard asked her about her kid and about the father of the kid. She said something about him being a pedophile so Howard quickly moved on. He asked her if she thinks that she should be raising a kid. She said her daughter knows her very well because she's been living with her for 8 years now. Gary asked her if she thinks it's right that she drink in front of her 8 year old daughter at 8 in the morning. Misty said she doesn't do that every day, she just does that when she wants to say things that she normally wouldn't say.
Greg asked Misty what it is about her that makes her think that she's Jesus. She said that she bore the son of Israel. The two of them started their mental case ramblings again and argued about who was really Jesus. Greg said that he was in prison and had to kill someone before that guy killed him. The guards at the jail put the two of them up against each other to find out who was really Jesus and Greg took a chunk out of his jugular vein. He said they had about 3 minutes to save the guy and he's not sure if they had time.
Howard said he believes that both of them are nuts and neither one of them are Jesus. Greg thought Howard had called him Jesus one other time. Howard gave that to him and said that he can continue to be Jesus. He gave Greg a plug for his book and web site again and wrapped up with him. He said he had to get to Janice Dickinson. Robin said she may as well join the other two mental cases...
Misty has a web site of her own so Gary told Howard that he was on there and she's got a video where she's pleasuring herself with a dildo with Howard's name on it while spewing out some religious stuff. Howard asked Misty about this guy that drove her into the city this morning. She said that she does bang the guy and she really likes him because he's got a monster cock. She also filled the guys in on how she was out banging some truck drivers while this guy watched her daughter. She gets $50 per guy for straight sex. Artie asked her how much it would cost to shut her up. She just laughed.
Howard asked if she makes the guys use rubbers. She said she uses them religiously and keeps a huge stash of them that she gets from the AIDS Foundation. Howard asked her how many guys she finished off at the truck stop. She said she did 4 or 5. Howard thinks that she could get at least $200 per guy if she fixed herself up a little bit. Robin pointed out that she has hair under her arms so she may want to clean that up as well.
Gary said he went into the green room a little while ago and Janice Dickinson was taking care of Misty's daughter. He said that was the funniest thing he's seen in a while. Howard wrapped up with Misty and gave her a plug for her web site SnatchTemple.com. He had to get to Janice after taking a commercial break.
Janice thinks that this little girl hates men so much that she was drawing the penises coming out of all of the pictures she was looking at. The little girl was pushing around one of the guys back there and making strange comments about men.
Howard said that the pictures are disturbing and he agrees with that. Howard had Misty come back in so they could discuss this but the two of them started to yell at each other. Janice said that Misty is unfit and her daughter should be taken away from her. Misty said that she did have a beer before the show this morning but she's not driving a car with her kid. She was also telling Janice that she's not worried about her daughter as much as she's worried about her. She called her a ''snobby fuckin' whore'' and said that she doesn't need her telling her what to do.
Howard asked Misty if the authorities have already checked her out. Misty said that she has been checked out. Howard asked Misty about the pictures that her daughter was drawing. Misty said that's not her fault, that was her father who gave her an early lesson about sex. Janice said that Misty needs some help. Misty agreed with that but she was still screaming at her.
Misty denied that her daughter drew the pictures that they were showing her but Janice said that they have her on tape drawing them. Howard was telling Misty that Janice has been accused of being an unfit mother as well but she's done fine. Janice told Misty to keep her daughter away from her work too because that isn't helping things. Misty said that she was with a baby sitter while she was out screwing those truck drivers she mentioned earlier.
Janice also told Misty not to drink in front of her daughter but Misty said that people always drink in front of their kids. Howard said he didn't think it was possible to not drink when you have kids. Janice and Misty continued to argue with each other. Howard asked Janice if she would adopt Misty's daughter and she said she would. Misty didn't want anything to do with that.
Janice asked Misty how she does the truck stop thing because she's tried that and it didn't work. Misty said that she has to lower her price but it's not hard to find guys who are looking for some. Howard took a call from a guy who asked Janice who the hell she is to give advice about mothering to someone else. The guy thought she was a horrible mother. Janice said she's a great mother and has kids who are in school getting straight A's in class.
Janice told Howard that she knows that there is a time and place to do certain things and Misty doesn't seem to get that. Howard said he'd like to get the two of them all coked up and see what happens. Janice said he doesn't want to see that.
Misty started to calm down a little bit and told everyone that she doesn't bring her daughter to Stern very often. She said that maybe her daughter was drawing a cigar and not a penis on the pictures that Howard was showing. Howard said she also crossed out all of the faces of the men on the magazine. Howard was letting Misty go so Janice called her over to give her a hug and some advice. Misty called her a ''fucking bitch'' again when she got the advice.
Howard said it's odd how even after giving someone a hug they still hate Janice. Janice said that she was ready to come on the show and admit that she screwed up the last time she was on the show. She said she was all messed up on coke and vodka and she wasn't herself that day. She said she knows she screwed up by not talking about the stuff that he was asking about. She apologized for that.
Howard said that Janice made a comment about him after that appearance and said that she didn't have any desire to sleep with him anymore. She used to fantasize about that but not any more. Howard asked Janice what she's doing for sex these days. Janice said she used to have an F-buddy but the guy got really stalker-like with her. She said that nothing is worth getting stalked over and she had to call that off.
Howard told Janice she looked good and asked her what kind of work she's had done. Janice told Howard that she had a face lift and her tits done. Howard said he would probably bang her but she's the only 50 year old woman he would bang. He asked her what it would be like if he was with her one night after drinking. Janice said she'd need a vat of Whiskey to be with him. She said it's not because she doesn't like him, she would just like to go wild with him.
Howard asked Janice to pull down her pants so he could see what she looks like. She said she's not going to do that unless Howard does it first. Howard didn't do it. He went on to ask Janice about her new TV show, ''Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency,'' and if it's like the Tyra Banks ''America's Next Top Model'' show. Janice said it's different. She said that on her show they don't eliminate people, they accumulate people as they go around trying to find models. She's going to go out and find these people. She said that she will give these people careers when she does her show. She's got her own modeling agency so she's going to give them jobs.
Howard said that maybe it is different then. Janice also said she will have hot men on her show. Howard said her show airs tomorrow night at 10 on the Oxygen network. She's also got a new book out called ''Check, Please! : Dating, Mating, and Extricating.'' Howard asked her about the book where she reveals even more people that she's had sex with. Howard wanted to know who the ugliest guy was that she's had sex with. Janice wouldn't say so Gary came in and said that it was probably Jon Lovitz. She said he wasn't the worst lay she's had, he's a great guy. She said that the worst date she ever had was with Roman Polansky. She said that he didn't have a rap and didn't say much of anything on their date.
Howard asked Janice who she regrets sleeping with. Janice said she can't say she has any regrets. He asked her if she has ever hopped into bed with anyone as soon as possible. Janice was saying that the book company wouldn't let her write about some of the people she has slept with. She said that Bill Cosby is one of those people. She said that he's kind of scary and the book company won't allow her to write about that. She claimed that Cosby was making her think that he would put her on TV so that was the type of guy he was.
Will came in and gave Howard a quote from Janice about Bill Cosby. Howard had Will read the quote and where she talked about Cosby not sleeping with her. She claims that the book company asked her to rewrite that section and that's the rewritten part. She seemed a little thrown off by the paragraph that Will read.
Howard asked Janice about why she thinks that Ellen Degeneres is hot, she looks like Owen Wilson. Janice said she'd do both of them. Howard asked Janice about hooking up with Kelly Lebrock years ago. He used to have a crush on her when she was still hot. Janice said that she and Kelly were hanging out with Ron Wood from The Rolling Stones and Ron was ready to dump his wife for Kelly back then. Howard wanted to know how she ended up in bed with Kelly. Janice said it was after about a pound of blow and a bottle of booze. She doesn't remember exactly how it went down because it was about 20 years ago.
Janice said she told Kelly to dump Ron Wood and convinced her to go back to her place. Janice said she doesn't remember what Kelly was wearing that night but she does remember that she hooked up with her and remembers waking up in the morning when the maid knocked on the door. She answered the door and fired the woman on the spot... even though it was Kelly's maid.
Howard asked Janice what she likes to do when she's in bed. She said she loves everything. Howard asked her if she likes to have her salad tossed. She said no to that. When Howard started to get into bowel movement talk, she said she was ready to walk out. Howard said he knows that some models really don't go to the bathroom much because Beth had some issues with that a while back.
Janice said something about how she was attracted to her sisters when they used to run around naked. Howard tried to get into that but Janice wanted him to stop. She said that she used to think about her sisters when she would pleasure herself. She still masturbates every day because she needs that release. Howard asked her if she wanted to ride the Sybian. As soon as she saw it she said she wasn't going to do that.
Howard read that Janice had a threesome with Grace Jones and Dolph Lundgren. She said that was really hot. She said that Dolph had a penis like an Evian bottle. The Sybian was still out so Janice kept telling the guys to put it away. Howard asked her more about the Grace Jones thing and got the details about how a bunch of models ended up at Grace's house and stayed there for days. Janice said that it was really hot having sex with the two of them but she's glad she has those memories to share.
Robin read that Janice claims that Madonna used to be kind of stinky back in the day. Janice said she found her to be a bit funky and she thinks she's probably still kind of funky. Howard started to wrap up with her and gave her another plug for her TV show and book.
Howard asked Janice about some super models and if she thinks that they are really super models. Carol Alt's name came up so Fred and Janice argued about that for a short time. Fred doesn't believe that Carol was ever a super model but Janice thought that she was.
Janice was telling Howard she was up to the CBS studio the other day and did an interview with a woman, whose name she couldn't remember, and the magic was gone from the old studio. She said that Howard and his crew bring magic to wherever they go. Howard thanked her for that and went to commercial break.
Howard got a guy on the phone to play the game. They were playing a game of ''What's Older Howard Or...'' They had things that might be older than Howard. The caller had to get 3 out of 5 left to win some money. Howard was born on January 12, 1954. What's older...
Howard was going to play a phone call that Penny made after Sal gave her the wrong name for his wife. Penny was doing a story about Sal's wife and because Sal gave her the wrong name, she used it during her Howard 100 News report. Howard played the call that Penny made to Sal and the news report where she called his wife ''Denise Ann'' instead of Christine.
Penny said that what Sal did by taping her call is illegal in the state of New York. She was also complaining that Sal goes around hitting her with a dildo in front of her son. She said she's going to have to go to Human Resources over that. Sal came in and put a piece of tape on her mouth. She said that Sal has broken 3 laws there. She said she's going to call Tim Sabean about getting hit on the head with a dildo.
Penny said that Liz Aiello is ready to fire her for getting these things wrong in her reports. Shuli was in and said that Liz really is upset with her because of the things that she's screwed up. Howard said that Liz was in Gary's office and looked upset. Gary said she's upset, but not about Penny screwing up. She's upset about Penny going into the studio and crying again. She thinks that's getting a bit old.
Penny told Howard she's done with Sal but she's not going to file any formal complaints. She also said that she won't come back in the studio for a while to keep Liz happy. Howard let her go and had George Flowers and Jon Hein come in to give their show previews.
Howard let Jon and George go and mentioned that people should stay tuned to find out more about the ''tapes'' (the K-Rock tapes) that are supposed to be coming soon. He's not sure what he can say yet and he knows that things have to be worded a certain way so he has to keep his mouth shut right now. He's not even sure if the deal is a done deal yet... but in his mind it is done.
That led to Howard saying that his mother took his temperature rectally way too long. He knows that he was in his early teens and she was still taking it that way. He said that she used to put some vaseline on the rectal thermometer and stick it in his ass. He can remember the feeling of it going in there and how it felt like it was going into his turd. Then she'd pull it out and would have to wipe it off. He thinks they were way too involved with each other.
Robin said that when she was working in a hospital, she was still taking rectal temperatures and sometimes turds would come out with it. Howard asked her if she knew what she was getting into when she started out. Robin said she really didn't mind it that much. Howard asked her if she had to shave guys private areas down and would have to hold their penis. She said she did start a catheter or two in her life. She didn't have to shave guys down.
Robin said there was once a guy who lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. She went into his room and he was very upset so she asked him what the problem was. He was upset that he was only half a man now. She said she straddled him on the bed and tried to help him out by showing him that he was still a man. She said they didn't do anything, she just got on and told him he was still a man. She said that she was even surprised at her own behavior back then.
Richard came in and asked if Robin would be interested in finding out who has the hotter anus, him or Sal. They were going to take their temperatures and see who was hotter. Robin said she might do that if they want to lay there with their asses showing. Howard told Richard to get ready to do it tomorrow.
Artie told a story about his father who had a nurse who would come in and take his temperature rectally. He said this male nurse showed up at his bedroom door one day and said that his father needed him. Artie went into the room and the nurse had to help him take a shit because he didn't have the muscles to do it himself. While the nurse took the bag of shit to the bathroom his father called him over and whispered in his ear ''Don't you ever leave me alone with this fag...''
Artie said his father eventually learned to love all of those guys because they were really helpful. Artie said that's why his father wanted to die though because he had to go through all of that stuff. He said it was a really tragic thing.
Howard was asking about how that shit thing all works when you're paralyzed. Artie kept apologizing to his father for talking about this stuff. He said that his mother bought his father a truss that would help him go to the bathroom and he looked like a baby sitting there. Artie never saw exactly what the nurse had to do to get the shit out so he's not sure how that worked. He said the guy would put a sheet up like the Wizard of Oz doing who knows what down there.
Artie said his father used to beg him to take an axe to him and put him out of his misery. He said the day his father died he was going in for a bed sore. He was supposed to be in for about 4 weeks. The ambulance guys showed up and before they were even able to pick him up, he was already dead. Artie said his mother thinks that he somehow offed himself or had someone off him by giving him some pills. They never did an autopsy on him so they really don't know. He said his mother didn't put all of that together until it was too late.
Artie said he remembers his father calling him into his room the night before he died and he told him he loved him and stuff like that. He said that was really rare for him to do that. Artie said he wishes he didn't go out that night because that was the last time he saw his father alive. He went out to shoot pool instead.
Howard asked Artie how he did shooting pool that night. He said he thinks he lost $80 that night. Artie remember telling his father that he'd have lunch with him the next day. He's pretty sure he'd want to be offed if he was stuck in bed like that too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he almost cried when he heard the story. Howard said he almost lost it himself. Artie wasn't too upset but he said that he did lose it one time when he told the story in therapy. A couple of phone callers told Artie that he's just given the comedians more material for Thursday night. One caller said he would be willing to cater the event. He knows Ronnie the Limo Driver so Ronnie came in and said the guy has some great food. Howard told Gary to make it happen. Gary asked everyone else who is begging to come in has to stop calling. This was Howard's decision and the doors are closed for the rest of the people.
Howard had Robin start her news since it was 11:10 already. During the news Howard took a call from this guy Wheels who said that he's a quadriplegic himself and they don't have to do what Artie was describing anymore. Now they take a pill at night and if they don't go the next morning, they just use a fleet enema to clear him out. The guy wanted to get in on the Artie Roast but it was already packed up. Howard told him he'd hook him up on the next roast if he wanted. Gary came in and told wheels that they really don't have room for him. Howard told him to talk to Wheels off the air and let him know what's going on. Howard ended the show around 11:35am
Howard started off the show going around the room saying hello to everyone. Artie let Howard know that Benjy almost ran him over this morning as he came running in. He wasn't even late or anything but he came running in anyway.
Howard said that he heard that Celine Dion was on ''Deal or No Deal'' last night and she was helping out a contestant while she was live via satellite. Gary told him that it looked very odd and creepy to have her on the show. Howard said that Celine has had quite a makeover in her looks since she was a kid but she's still not that good looking. He said she had about 7 rows of teeth when she was a kid according to Howard. He wondered why she'd bother with a body like that.
Howard said he had a lot of stuff to talk about and to play on the show today. He took a call from this guy Slober who said he can't wait for the Artie Roast. After yesterday's show where he talked about his father, it's going to be even better. Howard said a guy sent in a tape of an audition he did at a comedy club trying to get on the Artie roast. He said that they'd last about 30 seconds listening to it though.
Howard tried to find it but got sidetracked when he talked about Artie's story from yesterday where he talked about his father's last day alive. He said he didn't know that you can't take a dump when you're a quadriplegic so he learned about that from Artie. It was a touching and honest story from Artie and he didn't know just how bad it would be to be paralyzed like that.
Howard took another phone call from a guy who said his father was a quadriplegic and he had no idea how he shit until yesterday. Now he knows and he can't even look his father in the face. Howard told the guy that one person called in yesterday and said they don't have to dig the shit out these days, they have pills they take to loosen their bowels.
Another caller told Howard that David Spade is on The Tonight Show and he's really uptight about the Heather Locklear thing. Howard said it's almost like 2 year olds talking about having girlfriends when people like Spade are asked about who they're dating. Howard said he should just be honest and say that he's not a good looking guy and he's very glad he got into show business because he's dating Heather Locklear. It's just very odd and gay to Howard.
Artie said he was flipping by the channels last night and saw Kathy Griffin's show and he stopped to watch it for a few seconds just because of what she was saying on the show the other day. He said he tuned out a few seconds later though.
Howard got to the Artie Roast clip that a fan sent in. The guy did his roast up on stage at a comedy club and had to put in his own laughs. Robin heard a few seconds of the act and said the guy was horrible. Howard bailed out on that clip a few seconds later and took another phone call.
A male nurse called in to tell Howard that he has to pull doody out of people. He said he gets about $26 an hour to do that stuff and he has a whole route he goes on to do his job. He said there's one guy who takes about 20 minutes to do. He's also run into diarrhea and some other nasty stuff. He even had to service a 500 pound woman and it was tough to find where to put the tube in.
The caller said he's trying to get out of the business and into song writing. He wrote one song and it's being released by a country singer soon. Howard got back to the doody discussion and asked the guy how he goes about doing the shit pulling. He asked the guy if the people he services know it's time to doody when he shows up. The caller said that is how it goes.
The caller told Howard that he has to lube up his finger and stick it in their ass to dig out whatever is in there. If there's nothing in there, he has to roll his finger around in there to get things moving. He said he sometimes has to stick a couple of fingers in there to get things going but the people don't feel anything since they're quadriplegics.
The guy said he's had to ask people to lay off of certain foods like peanuts because he sees that shit coming through down there. Artie said he would never deny his father any type of food when he was still around. Howard and Artie talked about how they should have let Christopher Reeve die when he broke his neck. Artie said his dad had a Priest give him his last rites but the doctors kept him alive.
The caller told Howard that he was stimulating someone's ass one time and when he pulled his finger out, the glove had broken. He said he couldn't wash that hand good enough after that. He also said that he told a guy a joke one time and said ''I bet you can't guess how I do this with both of my hands on your shoulders...'' Howard wondered if there are nurses out there who do sick their dicks in there. Artie said if that happened with his father and he knew about it, the guy would be dead now.
Howard thanked the caller for sharing his stories. He told him he's a good man because someone has to do that kind of work. The guy said that the country singer who used his song is Julie Roberts. Howard said he would be looking for the song.
Artie told a story about his father watching football and baseball even though he couldn't move. Artie had a catheter in him one time and it was so distracting that he couldn't even watch TV. He was surprised that his father could get into that stuff.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up the story that Robin told yesterday about hopping on top of a patient and straddling him after he said that he didn't think he was a full man anymore after losing his leg. Howard thought that was kind of unprofessional but she didn't think that was the case. She was trying to help the guy.
Robin said it was not unprofessional at all and it was just to help the guy. Howard thinks she did it just hoping that something would happen. He told her that she could have been fired for doing that if someone had caught her. Artie said she may not have been fired because it's tough to find people who want to be nurses.
Artie said there's a scene in ''Tootsie'' where Dustin Hoffman pushes over a Mime and the guy who played the Mime was one of the nurses that used to help his father. He said he watches that movie once in a while to remember that guy. Artie said the guy was a struggling actor and he was a nurse when he wasn't acting.
The caller Howard had on the line asked Fred how he gets in those audio clips so quick during Robin's news. Fred said he just anticipates what Robin might read in the news and takes it from there. They don't have a meeting or pass any notes about what's coming up in the news.
Artie has been experimenting trying to find out how late he can leave his house to get to work on time. This morning he got up at 5:25 and still made it to work on time but he figures he has to get up about 10 minutes earlier to get there on time every day.
Howard saw Scott DePace scratching like crazy because he got poison ivy recently. Scott said that he got some shots for the stuff but it takes a couple of days to take effect. Scott said he was told that it can't spread by scratching but then the doctor told him that it spreads internally so he doesn't know what's going on. He gets it every year after doing yard work.
Howard said that those comments that Coulter made were despicable. He spent a couple of minutes going off on her himself. He said that she's obviously a creep because when Matt is reading those comments to her, she's blinking as if she's wincing in a really creepy way. He said she's almost like a retard but that's insulting to retards. He said she's more like a psychopath blinking the way she was.
Howard was also saying that they call this Ann Coulter woman a ''hot'' conservative but she's really not even that hot. Just because she has long blonde hair doesn't mean that she's that hot. He said he didn't even play the whole clip.
Howard read some notes about what Coulter wrote about the 9/11 victims. She seems to think that the widows are enjoying the deaths because they've become millionaires from the tragedy. She thinks that the women are getting TV air time so they must be enjoying themselves. Howard had some comments from some 9/11 victims who were asked about what they think of her comments. He read through a few comments and spent a few more minutes talking about that stuff.
Howard said he's all for free speech but this woman (Ann Coulter) is a monster. He said there's no reason to go off on the widows of 9/11 victims. He got a note saying that Scott DePace agrees with Coulter's comments. Scott came in a short time later and said that he doesn't agree with all of her comments but he does think that those widows did want to change people's political views just because they lost their husbands.
Howard told Scott that Coulter was saying that those women were probably going to get divorces from their husbands and just because they lost their husbands doesn't give them the right to speak out about terrorism. Howard told Scott to get out of the studio. Robin and Scott were still arguing but Howard put a stop to that and kicked Scott out. Robin gave him a little dig making fun of him for catching poison ivy every single year. She said he's too dumb to avoid getting it every year. Howard suggested that he get a guy to clear the whole yard out of poison ivy.
Artie said the only reason Scott is against those women is because they're not pro-Bush. If they were pro-Bush, he wouldn't be against them. Howard said that Ann Coulter is seriously deranged and the things she was saying about those widows is insane. He also said that DePace must be suffering from dementia from the poison ivy he has.
John the Stutterer called in and tried to make a point but he was having trouble even saying ''Thanks for taking my call...'' He eventually went off on Ann Coulter and didn't stuff too much because he was so pissed off about her. He quoted her but included a few stutters in the quote. Howard thanked him for his comments and tried to get him off the phone. John said he'd be coming in soon and thanked Howard but Howard cut him off before he could finish.
Howard said that the reason things are going to get better is because a dream of his has come true thanks to the lawsuit settlement with CBS. He said something positive came out of that and they now have the exclusive rights to 20 years of broadcast material from K-Rock. It will be uncensored and it will probably help bring even more subscribers over. He said the entire history of the show can now be played.
Howard had a meeting about what they want to do with the old material and it brought chills to him as they were talking about it. They could start a third channel that would have just classic shows playing. He said that people who never got to hear the show for 20 years will now be able to hear that stuff. Howard said that the first 10 years of his show on K-Rock were incredible but as the years passed, they had to keep editing them down when they would run Best Of Stern. Now they can play that stuff uncensored.
Robin said that they have to play the Old Dirty Bastard clips because they used to have to hit the delay on him so much. Howard said what he wanted to do was just play the full shows. They could go back in time to say June 10, 1995 and replay a show from back then. They could do that or just play the musical performances from the past shows. Maybe they could go back and play something at noon each day from past shows. Howard said they could have votes from fans for what they want to hear.
Howard said he really never thought he would see those tapes again and he thought they were going to be destroyed. He said it would have been amazing if he could have announced that he was bringing those tapes with him when he first moved to satellite.
Gary said that they could pull clips from old shows and have all of the Seinfeld cast interviews or all of the Star Trek cast interviews... Things like that. Howard mentioned that George Takei will be on the show all next week for those Star Trek fans out there.
Howard said the content is staggering and he wants to hear from the audience about what they want to hear. The fans have helped shape the channels into what they are so far and he wants us to give him some suggestions for how they want the classic shows presented.
Artie said he would love to hear the show from the beginning, on a third channel, and just replay history. He would tune in to hear it himself. Gary said they all have different thoughts on what they want to hear. Robin mentioned Old Dirty Bastard, he was thinking of Jackie Stallone and her husband arguing because they had to hit the delay on them all the time. There are many other things that were banned from being played on terrestrial radio that they can now play again.
Howard and Robin said they can play so many things that they were fined by the FCC for. It's all coming back and will be played there on SIRIUS and only on SIRIUS. Howard wants to do a whole Hank the Dwarf weekend because they used to hit the delay on him quite a bit when he'd curse.
Howard thinks that they have found the value that people have been looking for in SIRIUS. He took a call from a guy who said that things are going to be great because they can take time off and play some really great classic stuff. Howard and the guys talked about many other things that went on during the past shows and what they could play on Friday shows and when they take vacation.
Howard thinks that all of this stuff is going to make the channels hum and it will be like a jog down memory lane. Artie said he'd even be interested in hearing the old live commercials from the early days. Howard said the last few years of the show were bad as far as commercials go so he wouldn't want to play the commercials from those days.
Howard said he has to keep a lot of the details of the lawsuit to himself so he wasn't going to comment on that stuff. The caller said that this was a nice F-you to CBS but Howard didn't want to go there and told him he was going to move along.
A caller told Howard that he's thrilled about this and can't believe that he got his hands on his old tapes again. Howard said it really is great that they have this stuff. It's sickening just thinking that they almost lost all of that. Howard said it's about 23,000 hours of content that they can now play again. The caller said that Howard should play the 9/11 show and dedicate it to that woman (Ann Coulter).
Howard said we're not going to hear the classic shows tomorrow, he wants to figure out how to present it and what to present first. Artie said he thinks it should be the first show. The caller suggested some flashbacks to some old shows after interviewing the people today.
Howard got an e-mail from a guy who said he can't wait to hear the first Bob Levy appearance and it was Bob Levy who sent the e-mail. Howard asked Sal what he wants to hear. Sal said it's the Sam Kinison stuff, uncensored. There were many great appearances by Sam. Sal also mentioned Fred's fight with the Rainbow Room guy and the Cookie Puss story... So many things to play.
Robin said that one of the things that they got back was Chyna Doll's song that she performed live in the old studio. Howard said all of the musical performances are coming back. Richard Christy came in and said that he wants to hear Joey and Marky Ramone fighting. Sal mentioned a bunch of other classic moments on the show that they could play.
Sal said that he started listening to the show when he was just 16 years old and it's great that there are 16 year olds out there who will be getting into it just like he did. They can learn the history of the show now that they can play those old clips.
Howard said that no one out there has an inventory like this with their radio show. The caller that was on the line said that his iPod looked at him and said ''don't you dare...'' Howard said his iPod was probably sweating just thinking about all of the content.
Howard took a call from a guy