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Howard started off the show talking about how Jane Fonda had bad mouthed him on Donny Deutsch's show. He said he was kind of bummed out by that because he's defended her in the past. He had the audio clip to play from the interview but Robin explained why she's out promoting stuff. Howard said that anyone who doesn't know, Jane is an actress who was famous a long time ago. She's starting a radio network with Gloria Steinham and Rosie O'Donnell. They'll be broadcasting on the internet.
Howard played the audio clip where Donny brings up Howard's name and Jane relates the words 'noise and wallpaper' with his name. That and 'heartburn.' She said she tunes it out and doesn't let it into her world. Howard said she'd probably avoid the show except when he was defending her going over to Viet Nam. Robin said that Jane is a hypocrite and while she's out there saying she's her own woman, she was letting all of the men in her life control her.
Gloria Steinham kind of defended Howard saying that she thinks he has a heart buried in there somewhere. She also said that she thinks they could get him to redeem himself. Gloria said she would never go on Howard's show because she doesn't want to have to go on there and take her clothes off.
Howard played another clip where Jane talked about how radio has left women behind. That led to Howard saying that radio isn't leaving women behind, everyone is leaving radio because it's no longer a big thing. Howard said that he was an asshole because he never got to cash in on the whole Infinity Broadcasting merger with CBS many years ago Mel Karmazin got all of the glory. He said Mel deserved that but he also thinks that he could have made out a little better if he had gotten in on the stock option deals that some of the other guys did. Howard said he felt really responsible for putting that whole company on the map.
Artie asked Howard if he thought that he should have been a partner or something. Howard said that's what he feels now and he really didn't realize what was happening at the time. He said he kind of tends to go 'who the hell am I' when he thinks about asking to be involved in a company like that. He said he was a salaried guy over there and he didn't think he deserved to be part of the company.
Howard said that he was getting hints that the company was going to start lowering his salary because the more stations they added, the less they'd be able to pay him. He said it kind of burns him that there are people doing so well over there and he didn't get credit for it. He thinks that he created that company (Infinity) and he wasn't able to take advantage of that.
Howard had an article about how radio is changing and people aren't listening to it as much as they did in the past. One guy was interviewed about going online to hear his music and news instead of tuning into the radio. There are many companies getting out of the radio business and it's not the big business it once was.
Howard said that people are tuning into satellite radio now and that's led to the radio industry hiring publicists to bad mouth him to make it seem like he's already a failure. They say that he had about 12 million listeners when he left radio and now he's got a fraction of that. He told them to just wait, they'll be back.
Robin said she's got SIRIUS on her boat and she had a guest on it with her and he was amazed that the signal never got interrupted. He didn't know what he was listening to at the time so he surprised him with it.
Howard said that Robin and Gilbert Gottfried's scenes are hilarious. Fred's wife Alison is also very funny according to Howard. He said that Dice Clay and Norm Macdonald make appearances in the show. Howard also said that Sam did some funny stuff with Artie and Dana's relationship as well. Artie said he can't wait to hear the whole thing. The show is going to be a half hour and Howard said it's really going to be great when it does finally air.
Artie said that it took Norm about a decade to make that album. Chris Farley was supposed to play the part that Will Ferral played but he died the day before. Artie did some stuff for the album and he recorded his stuff about 7 years ago! Artie said Norm thanked him in the liner notes and it was very nice what he wrote.
Artie said that the reviews that the movie got were horrible and Howard should read the NY Times review. Howard found that and read the review to everyone. The guy really slammed the movie. The guy was pointing out that one of the actors who played Edgar Stiles on '24' makes an appearance in the movie and that seemed to be the highlight for the reviewer.
Artie said that the movie should be guaranteed to make the money back that it took to make it. He said the fans went nuts reviewing it and that's what counts. He said he had to thank Echo Bridge Entertainment for having the balls to release it wide like that.
Howard said he was surprised that the movie did get such bad reviews because he really enjoyed it. Robin said that Artie should have his own troupe of actors to put movies together and just keep making them because reviewers don't always know what they're talking about. Artie said that the reviewers have no control over his career and the fact that his movie is going wide proves that.
A caller said that he parked his truck illegally to go see Artie's movie and it ended up costing him a few bucks because he got a ticket.
Howard said that the woman who produced the segment wants to have dinner with him and talk about all of the extra footage they had. He said they might put some of that stuff on the internet. He said that they didn't give an update on how well things are going for him at SIRIUS and he's wondering if someone silenced them about it. He said they did call him to get updates on how things were going but they didn't mention them during that show when they replayed that segment. CBS also didn't promote him when he was making his appearance on Letterman the last time. It would appear that someone over there is trying to keep things silent there.
Howard said he's going to find out why they didn't give an update. Robin said that she gets jealous when she sees him getting so much attention for the show. She said she thinks that the jealousy makes her think that she still wants to do more things with her own career. She's actually jealous of the coverage he gets.
Howard asked Artie what he feels about that stuff. Artie said he's idolized them all for many years so he's coming from a different place. Fred said that he's thrilled for Howard and he has no jealousy. He said he does kind of feel bad when guests come in and kind of brush him aside as if he were just a door man though. Artie said he is kind of insulted by the term sidekick when it's used to describe him.
Howard said his mother called him and asked if he knew he was going to be on 60 Minutes again this weekend. He knew it already so there really wasn't a need for the call. Robin said that she was with her family that night and that may be one reason that she got so upset with the whole thing. Robin said that her family was talking about all of the stuff that she's been up to on the show and her family was talking about how they've heard stuff about her on the show lately and they kept bringing up Howard's name.
Fred told Howard that he may want to lock Robin's door and keep her in her booth today because she does sound so angry. Robin said that her family brings up Howard's name in a way that is almost like worship so it drives her nuts. She said she's still the piece of crap on the bottom of their shoes. Robin said she had her family at her house and her sister-in-law was the one who kept bringing stuff up that was making her crazy.
Howard said that they should try and get Robin on 60 Minutes so her family will find her as interesting as him. Robin was laughing through this whole discussion but it still sounded like she was really upset about the whole thing.
Riley was saying that Tim Sabean has somehow managed to get him to come back to SIRIUS but the amount of money is about what Howard would pay someone for a homosexual lap dance.
Robin said that she thinks Riley is a genius and she was telling Tim that information because she thinks that he should be back on the air. Howard told her to calm down with that because the deal wasn't done yet. Howard asked Riley how long he thinks he'll last before he freaks out again and stops doing the show. Riley said he just wants to be able to do the show and not starve to death.
Tim Sabean came in and said that he and Riley had a nice conversation and Riley was being very realistic. He's pretty sure they can work something out. Riley agreed and said he thinks that they can do something. He believes that he's been snookered and the amount of money he'll be making is somewhere between $3 and bus fare money.
Howard asked Riley if he'll have any revelations on his next show. Riley said that if the fans bare with him for the next few years, they may be able to save Mother Earth. If they cannot do that, the people had better have their 'fucking symbols' to get on the mother ship.
Riley had to get going but he let Howard know that his wife is a fan of Howard's show and he really doesn't get that. Howard said he would like to interview Mrs. Riley Martin on the show sometime.
Artie said that he saw Tim putting out a fire with Bubba the other day. Robin said that Bubba punched Sal in the face over the whole Mutt's daughter thing. She said that after he punched Sal out, Richard ran over to him to stop what was going on. Richard said he saw Bubba slap Sal in the face and then he got smacked in the face and got a bloody nose over it.
Howard said they had the video up on his screen so he was checking that out. Richard said Bubba was picking on JD and goofing on him but it was all a goof. Robin said that she heard the show and they were getting into fights and wrestling matches during breaks on the show. Artie said he went on the show and spent a couple of hours there. He said Bubba was kind of upset that Alexis Stewart was taking one of their guests and ended up calling her the C-word off the air.
Artie said he went over to the Alexis Stewart show and spent about 20 minutes there. He said that he kind of sold Bubba down the river on that show and brought up the pig killing thing. He said that he was totally disgusted by Bubba's show and kept bringing it up even though the women didn't want to talk about it. He said they were totally annoyed by that.
Howard said he ran into Alexis Stewart at some event he was at. He and Artie were saying that she's still looking to have a kid without getting married to anyone. She's looking to do artificial insemination to make that happen.
The guys said that Spice Boy was also kind of upset with Howard because he was talking about how they wanted to have some other guys bang Akira. It turns out that Spice Boy and Akira have a thing going on right now and he doesn't want anyone else banging her.
Gary told Howard that they should get to Howie Mandel soon because he had to get going soon. Howie had to be moved to a different green room because the room he was in had couches that had stains on every cushion. He had to be moved to a leather couch since they're easier to clean. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that he got some e-mail from someone who said that Artie appears to know nothing about football. They spent a minute on that and then brought in Howie Mandel.
Howie said that the real reason he's there is to announce that the season premiere of the show is tonight. Howard asked him if he shakes any hands on the show. Howie said he does not shake hands, he does the fist thing and just touches fists. That led to Howie talking about how dirty the green room couches were and how they had to be bodily fluids and not food as Howard was claiming they were.
Howard wanted to help Howie out and said he'd tell him how he got over his OCD off the air. Howie wanted to hear it on the air so Howard got into his discussion about Dr. John Sarno and how his books helped him get over that OCD. Howie said he read those books after Howard suggested them to him. They didn't work for him. Howie said that he got to his hotel yesterday and ordered up a couple dozen towels so he wouldn't have to touch the carpet in the room. Artie laughed and said he finds that to be amazing.
Howard told Howie that he was exhausted from his OCD. It would take him 2 hours to get ready for work because he had to do so many things because of that OCD. He and Howie talked about that stuff and Howie said he really wants to get out of this stuff but he's unable to do it. He thinks that it's a chemical thing but Howard told him that's not what it is and he should stop believing that it is chemical.
Howie said he has spent a fortune on therapy and it hasn't helped. He said it would be really embarrassing if he was actually cured by Howard Stern. Howard said he's not able to convey to him in writing how he got through all of this stuff. He said he needs to talk to Howie off the air and try to help him out. He told Howie that this OCD lifted off of him like a fog one day. Some of those thoughts have come back to him in the past few weeks so it is something you constantly have to fight off but it's not a chemical thing.
Howie said that he would like to hear Howard's theory but he believes that the illness never goes away. Howard asked him what he thinks the worst thing would be if he touched germs. Howie said he knows that nothing is going to happen but he can't get that stuff out of his head if he can't stop thinking about the germs. Howard said that Howie appears to not want help from him. Howie said he wants some help right there on the air.
Robin said that if you take away Howie's problem, he's got to replace it with something else because this is part of his identity. Artie told Howie that he thinks he's actually a ''secret fruit'' and that's what this is all about. Howie seemed to find that kind of funny.
Howard asked Howie who the hottest model is on Deal or No Deal. Howie said they change from week to week so he has a new favorite each week. He said that Layla is one of his favorites. Howard asked him how long he's been married. Howie said it's like 27 years or so. Howard told him it must be tough to be married that long and having all of those hot chicks around him all day long.
Howard wanted Howie to come clean and talk about the chicks and if he's banged them. Howie said he just thinks about the germs and it's easy for him not to think about having sex with them. Howie said that his therapist traced down his problems to a trauma he had as a child. He didn't talk about what it was though.
Howard asked Howie why he's still flying commercial flights these days since he's got to be making enough money to take a private jet. Howie said he did take a chartered flight back from England when he was over there. Howie said that he is making a lot of money and said that it's in the millions. Howard said he wants an easy job like that where he could make millions for doing something like that. Howard said he actually had a meeting with the same company Howie works for but they wanted him to do a show that was a lot of work. Howie told Howard that his job is very easy and he's not even sure why they wanted him as the host.
Howie figures that he wasn't the first choice for that show. He said that once they hired him they told him he had to start the next day. They already had the set built and lit so they must have had it ready for someone else. Howard told Howie to tell the people at Endemol to come up with something easy for him to do. He wants to be able to say 'Deal or no deal...'' like Howie does. He said he could do a Spanish version of the show or something like that.
Gary came in and asked Howie if he's afraid that they're going to do to his show what they did to Millionaire by putting it on every night. Howie said that NBC is putting the show on the air a lot but he'll deal with it if they do burn it out. The show is actually on 4 days this week alone so they are kind of pushing it a bit. He said he hopes that NBC will have another big hit on their hands this season. Gary and Howie said that they both think that Studio 60 will take off but Howard said he saw the show and wasn't a fan of it.
Howie said he's still doing stand-up comedy and getting more money for doing those than he used to get. He said he's also getting more shows. Howard asked if Howie makes millions for the shows he does. He wouldn't say exactly how much he's making but Artie guessed that he makes about $100,000 per show. Howie just smiled according to Howard.
Howard gave Howie some plugs for Deal or No Deal which is airing four days this week on NBC. He also talked about how much he liked when Howie would do the Merv Griffin show years ago. He said he was always prepared and would blow up that glove on his head. Howie said he can't do that bit anymore because he has problems with his sinuses.
Howie had a red ribbon on his arm that Robin noticed. He said that some guy came up to him and tied it to his arm telling him that it was good luck and he hasn't been able to take it off since then. He said it's been on his arm for about 2 months now because of that. Howard wanted to cut it off his arm but Howie said he would get totally fucked up if he did something like that. Howie was ready to walk out so Howard told him to sit down and calm down. Howard wanted to liberate him and get it off his arm. He wanted to play 'String or No String'' with him but Howie didn't want to mess with it. He said that if they cut it off, he would have to go to therapy and it would really mess him up.
Robin said that the ribbon didn't match anything else he was wearing so that's why she picked up on it. Howie said he once had someone put something on his ankle out in Hawaii and it took 11 years to come off. Howard told Howie that if he didn't get that thing off his wrist, he was going to put a voo doo spell on it. Howie didn't seem to care about that though and he wasn't going to remove it.
Artie said it would be funny if he got Howie to take that thing off and then an air conditioner fell on him on the street. Gary said that Howie's luck has already run out because he spent time in Scott the Engineer's studio after not being able to sit in his office. Howard filled Howie in on what happened to Tony Stewart after he spent some time with Scott the Engineer. Howard told Howie that Anna Nicole's son had also spent some time with Scott.
Howard wanted Howie to get some balls and take that string off. Howie said he's not taking it off and that's that. Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he wipes his ass. Howie said he doesn't have a problem with that. He told Howard he's got his own special toilet that helps him clean up back there.
Howard told Howie to go head and keep that string on his arm. Howie said that he thinks it is good luck for him and he's not going to remove it. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she has cured herself of her OCD and if he just let loose he could cure himself as well. Another caller said that Howie is crazy and kept saying 'Crazy'' over and over again as he was on.
Howard tried to convince Howie that he could be cured but Howie doesn't believe that he can be cured. Howard insisted that he could be cured. Artie brought up the Scott the Engineer thing and asked Howie if Scott told him that he used to babysit for JonBenet Ramsey.
Howard said that Howie seems to be a little bit down today. Howie said he was fine until he got there. Gary came in and told Howie that they had video of Beetlejuice sitting nude on the couch where Howie was sitting. Howie didn't believe that he had actually been there but he was. They also pointed out that they did have a towel on the couch that day so it wasn't as bad as it looked. Howard said he had to let Howie go because he was getting the word that he had to go. He wrapped up a short time later and let Howie go.
Howard brought up a news story about this new Pope and how he made a comment about the Muslims that really pissed them of. He quoted some scripture from some ruler who said you can't spread religion via the sword and now the Muslims are pissed and going nuts over the comments. Howard said that this is exactly what the Pope was talking about and they're getting violent over his comments about how violence is wrong when it comes to religion.
Howard read some stories about that stuff and talked about how it doesn't speak well for that religion when they're willing to get so violent and threaten people over some comments they made. Howard said it's like a world full of insane people who are going nuts over their religions.
Howard brought up Dancing with the Stars and said he's not even watching it now. He said that Mario Lopez is one of the guys on the show and when he was asked if he had any dance training, he said he had a little hip hop training but no ballroom training. Now they're saying, in Page Six, that he did have formal training according to an old friend of his. He has won some competitions that he's competed in so he does have formal dance training, just not ballroom dance.
Howard read another story about how Pete Townshend has been acting like a real dick at some performances he's made. He apparently goofed on Roger Daltrey's performance at one event. He made some comments about Roger, attacked some fans and even goofed on his own music. Howard read through some other stuff and found that Pete actually spit on the crowd without warning.
Howard told the guys to check the tapes and find out if that was true. He said JD checked the tape and they never mentioned his name. The girl's name was Bianca who was named after Bianca Jagger because the father was a huge fan of The Rolling Stones. There was no mention of Howard's name.
Howard said he called his mother back to find out what she was doing over there and his father ended up picking up the phone. He said that he told his father why he was calling and he didn't seem to know what was going on. Then he got his mother on the phone and told her that there was no mention of his name or the dog. He said his mother apologized for getting it wrong and didn't know how she screwed that up. He said it's unbelievable what's going on over there.
Howard said his parent's house is falling apart and they don't want any people in the house so they refuse to get anything fixed. Howard would like to buy them a house or something but they don't want to leave the neighborhood. His father bought the house for $50,000 when he was in 10th grade and he has no desire to move. He said he felt so guilty about that house way back then and he still feels bad about it. He said that his father used to complain about having to move out of Roosevelt because he only paid $14,000 for that place. Howard's mother now says she's going to keep her mouth shut and not talk about anything.
Howard said that Sal and Richard took audio of Ronnie the Limo Driver and called some old lady. They had Ronnie asking the woman to come up and ride the Sybian and get topless. They called her back after she hung up on them. She told Ronnie she wasn't going to do anything for him and she wasn't going to show up to the show like he was asking.
Howard said he loves those calls. He said he also loved when Sal the Stockbroker came in and started crying on the show over sniffing Mutt's daughter's panties. Artie said he's not sure that Sal is totally remorseful over what he did and he's not so sure it was that genuine when he was crying. Howard played some of the audio where Sal was crying and claiming he was just doing a goofy thing when he sniffed the 16 year old's panties. Artie was laughing as he heard the replay. Especially after Sal said that people respect and appreciate what he does for the show.
After playing that clip Howard said he thought it was sincere, much more so than the apology he made to black people when they were goofing on him. Robin said that Gary had an interesting theory about how Sal was sincere at the start but then he turned it off and was less sincere toward the end. Fred said there was a lot of sniffing going on there during the crying and he's thinking that it wasn't all real. Fred said that Sal was claiming that he does things for the show but the panty thing had nothing to do with the show so he's pretty sure he was full of it.
Howard had another prank call that the guys made to a public access show. They called a show they call often and had Sal doing his black voice. The host hung up on him so then Benjy called into the show and started asking wacky questions. After that they used Sal's crying clips and called back in again. The host had no idea what was going on so he hung up on him and complained about the town idiots calling his show. They called back in and played more of Sal's crying clips and the host hung up on him again.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves when he does his impression of his parents. He also talked about all of the Sirius radios he has and then gave Howard an F, Marry Kill game to play. He gave him the following names. Howard's choices follow:
Richard said he's been a big fan of hers for a long time and she used to only do girl/girl porn. when he found out she went to boy/girl porn he got really excited. Robin noticed that he had all kinds of bumps on his face so he said it may be caused by the kerosene that was in his apartment this weekend. He had his floors done and the place smelled like kerosene all weekend.
Howard took some phone calls and let some fans tell Artie how great his movie was. Bobo called in quickly and said he liked it. Janks also said he liked it and really expected it to stink. He said that he got a very scathing review in the Philadelphia Daily News today. Howard said that he got a lot of bad reviews this weekend. Janks said that it was the best comedy he's seen this year.
Janks read the review that he mentioned and the guy said that if you're looking for burping and belching laughs, then that's the movie for you. Another caller said that Artie should just ignore the critics. He said that the movie was great and he really liked it.
Howard went on to read some comments from the fans who sent in e-mail. There were some people who liked it but there were also others who didn't like it at all. Someone said that there were no jokes in the movie and that Howard wouldn't like it if Artie wasn't on the show. Howard said he swears that he liked it though.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about the Hodeo that they did last week but there was one guy who wrote in and said that it was horrible. The guy said it was awful when Richard let Benjy horse fuck him out in the bathroom. Benjy had a fake penis on and Richard sucked on it. Howard said he had no control over that because it happened out in the hall, not in the studio.
Howard said he needed some driving lessons because his car went dead while he was trying to get through a flooded area this weekend. He had to have some people come over and tow him out. He said the car was completely dead and he wasn't able to get it started. After that happened he decided he wants to get a truck, one with big wheels and tires on it. He said that he's thinking about an Escalade because Ronnie told him that would be a good one for him.
Ronnie came in and told Howard that he's bringing in his GMC Denali tomorrow and he's going to like that one. He said it was about $45,000 - $48,000. Gary got an Envoy himself and he thinks Howard will like the one Ronnie has. Howard said he can't get one after hearing they come with XM radio. Ronnie told him they can change it over for him.
Howard said the flooding is a problem out there in the Hamptons so that's why he's going to get the truck. He has an Audi A8 right now and it's just not good for a flooded area.
Howard asked Artie about his movie and how he wasn't making out with his female co-star. Artie said that Frank Sebastiano didn't want him to have scenes like that but there were also rumors that Cara's boyfriend didn't like her doing love scenes like that so that may have had something to do with it as well. He's pretty sure the guy wouldn't have had a problem with him doing that stuff though.
Howard ended up going into his Dana impression and goofing on Artie over their whole break up and the movie. Dana made a cameo appearance in the movie so Howard had some fun goofing on him. That led to the guys asking Artie about the girls who have been coming on to him lately and how he's not doing anything about it. He's not banging any of those chicks. He said it's a very hard time for him right now and he's not able to bang any chicks. He said it really sucks that he and Dana broke up.
Howard said that when he breaks up with a chick, he goes right out and gets laid so he doesn't get bummed out. He said that Artie should probably be without women at this point. They spent a couple of minutes goofing on Artie but they were also saying that Artie seems to know that he didn't belong in that relationship.
Lisa said that she knows when to walk away from a relationship and she thinks Artie did the right thing there. She got back to her news preview and mentioned some of the things they have coming up on today's Howard 100 News.
Lisa mentioned that Steve Grillo will be doing a movie review for them but Howard said that they're doing it all wrong. They have Steve reading his review and that's not what he wants them doing. He said that Grillo should be doing the review off the cuff like he did on his radio show. He played some audio from that review and then played some out takes from that review and that's what they should really be playing. Robin said she told Steve that it's the mess that he is that everyone enjoys. Howard played a few more of the clips and listened to him screwing up line after line. He told them to throw out all of that other shit and play this stuff. Howard said that Steve is no longer allowed to have a script and there are no out takes, everything goes in. He let Lisa go after that.
Howard said they need to get people like Daniel Carver on the show and have him going up against the Black Israelites or something like that. Howard thought the show was kind of a let down to him. He had a bad feeling when the blacks came in last. He figured that was going to cause an uproar. Gary seems to think the show will get better as the season goes by. Howard had to go to break after that.
Artie asked Jessica if she remembers them calling her to be part of his movie. She said she does remember getting the call. She didn't know the name of the movie so Artie filled her in. Howard asked Jessica if she was in the bathroom shaving her bush down because Benjy found big clumps of pubic hair in the bathroom. Benjy said he's sure it's her hair but Jessica said she doesn't have any hair. Howard shut Benjy's microphone off and told him to put the pubic hair away. Artie told him to keep it away from his French toast because he doesn't want any in there.
Howard told Jessica how much he likes her web site which is broken down into three categories. He said that's the right way to do things and then asked her why she's in porn. She said she used to teach but that didn't pay enough so she got into this line of work. She said she used to be a normal girl before her implants.
Jessica said she used to only do girl/girl stuff but she got into boy/girl about 2 and a half years ago. She used to do some dance and then got into some modeling work. After that she was approached by Playtime magazine who asked her to do some stuff. She said that she was never really conservative and has always been an exhibitionist. She said she used to do some crazy stuff and did screw one of her student's father's. She said that there was one parent who used to show up at the strip club she was working at so it made for very interesting parent/teacher conferences.
Howard asked Jessica where she had sex and she told him that the guy asked her to go out and she just figured 'fuck it' and went off with him. She said that it was just the one parent that she did. She said she loves sex and loves her job now. Howard told her that she's got a great body and she looks great as well.
Gary came in and asked if there was something going on between her and Dave Navarro. She swore that she had never done anything sexual with Dave but she is friends with him. Artie said that she was also at a bachelor party that Nick Lachey attended. She said she couldn't believe that she was going to come out with this... Then she said that Nick had propositioned her at the bachelor party. Howard wanted to know exactly what he asked her. She said that Nick sent his body guard over to her and he asked her to get in his limo to go back to his place. Nick never said anything to her himself, he had his bodyguard asking her to do it. She didn't end up doing anything with him because she wasn't interested in him.
Howard asked Jessica if she's got a boyfriend right now. She said she does and she does like to get dressed up for him. She said that he's a magazine publisher and it's an adult magazine. Howard asked her who she was with. It turns out it's a guy by the name of Jim Keeler who runs Playtime magazine.
Jessica told Howard about how she had her ass bleached for an upcoming movie she's doing. She saw that Tabitha Stevens had it done so she wanted to do the same thing. She was never told that her ass was too brown or anything. She just wanted to get it done because it is kind of discolored. Howard asked her if she shits a lot. She said it's every other day or so. Howard told her that she's a girl and she should never shit. She then changed her story and said she never does shit.
Jessica said her ass was a little discolored and she wanted to lighten it up a little bit. She claims that she could see it in the mirror and noticed the darkness. She went to a place called Pink Cheeks to get it lightened up. They waxed her down and then applied the bleach. She said it was a girl who was doing the application. Howard asked her a few questions about that stuff and found out she had to apply the cream herself. She said she dipped her brush into the cream and then applied the stuff to her own ass.
Howard said he was fascinated by this whole thing and wanted to know as much as possible. Artie asked her to stand up because he noticed how great her ass looked. Howard told him to go check out her web site to see how great it is.
Howard was showing the guys how he can check out his own ass if he wants to. He bent over and demonstrated and almost passed out from having not eaten that much lately. Artie said he's never been able to do that and has never looked at his own asshole before.
Howard asked Jessica to ride the Sybian for them and do it for real, not fake an orgasm or anything. She said she would do that and she heard that some other women had ridden the machine. Howard gave Jessica a plug for her web site and the fact that they have a fake vagina and other body parts of her there on her site. She said that they even have removable piercings for her body parts since she's pierced in real life. She showed Howard some of her 17 piercings. She has a bunch of them in her ear and on her other body parts. Howard figured she was bored out of her skull but she said she's really not.
Both of Jessica's nipples are pierce. She also has her hood pierced and even had one of her finger's pierced. She said that might gross the guys out. Howard asked her about these guys in porn who have giant cocks and why they all have to have big dicks. She said she thinks it just looks good and it's more of a turn on when they're big. She said her boyfriend's dick is a perfect size for her and that it's 'normal' sized.
Howard asked Jessica to get naked and said that he wanted to check out her pierced hood to try and figure out what exactly the difference between that and the clitoris is. He told her it was time to get naked so she stripped right down and got ready to ride the Sybian. She wasn't wearing any panties. She showed the guys her hood piercing and Howard seemed even more confused by it after she showed it to them. The guys asked her to show off her ass and then had her bend over so they could see her bleached ass.
Howard found out she's 116 pounds and weighs just 116 pounds. Howard said that's the right weight for that height. The guys checked her out and found that she had a couple of tattoos. Howard eventually got her to bend over and show her bleached ass. It was definitely white according to the guys and she said that it was never really brown, it was just a little discolored.
Howard told Gary to bring in Sgt. Keith Manning since he was there to visit. Manning was back from Iraq after doing 2 tours of duty over there. Manning seemed to like what he was seeing but he had to tell his wife that he loves her. He said he was over in Iraq for 10 months this last time he was there. He had some trouble with his diabetes and passed out on a mission so he had to come home.
Howard asked Keith about what was going on over in Iraq. He said that things are crazy over there. He can't talk about killing anyone over there because that's classified information. Howard asked him how many kills he had but he really wasn't able to talk about that stuff. Gary said they sent him to Scores the other night and he had a great time there. Howard asked him if he's ever seen a better body than Jessica's. He said he's never seen anyone, other than his wife, with a better body.
Howard asked Jessica some more questions and found out that she enjoys anal sex and will sometimes just take a guy's cock and shove it in there when he's banging her. She won't do any ATM (Ass To Mouth) in her private life. Howard told Sgt. Manning that this was all for him and then had Jessica get on the Sybian.
Gary gave Jessica some suggestions for how to ride the Sybian. She got on the machine and Gary told her that he was going to be controlling the machine for her. Artie was heading over toward her so Howard told him to get back to his microphone. Then he asked Jessica if Artie could touch her boobs. She told him to come on over so Artie went right over and felt them up. He said that was the first time he was doing that and feeling guilt free.
Howard talked to Manning about how they could straighten things out in Iraq if they had women like Jessica over there. Manning talked about how he thinks we should be out of that country because they really don't appreciate what we're doing over there.
Howard had the Gary start out the Sybian at about 30 percent power. She seemed to be a little shocked by the power at that level so Gary told her there was even more. She asked for more and started to moan. She asked if she could use it for her next film and started to moan even more. She was screaming out and asking for more and seemed to be really into the machine. She sounded like someone was killing her at certain points. Then she came and asked Gary to turn it down. She said she had one big orgasm and was shaking from it.
Howard said that it's lucky that Sgt. Manning had baggy pants on. Jessica said that the machine was like nothing she's ever experienced. She was climaxing big time while she was on the machine. Artie said that it was the best Sybian ride in the history of the show. Howard wanted to put it up full blast and see what happens to her. She was still shaking from the last ride though.
Howard asked her if she could take the machine at 100 percent, she was only at 75 percent according to Gary. She wasn't sure if she could take that extra vibration. She was shaking and was barely able to stand up. Artie said that she was grabbing Will's arm during the ride and he claims that he would have exploded if that was him being grabbed.
Howard took some calls and one guy suggested that they put one of those crazy attachments on the Sybian instead of the flat one. Gary pulled out some other attachments to show her what they had. Gary pulled out one with an attachment that she would have to insert. Manning said that this was crazy and his wife was going to kill him.
Jessica didn't want to use the attachment and asked Robin to help her out there. Then the guys convinced her to try it out. She agreed to take that thing in. She asked if other chicks had ever taken it in. Howard said that they had so she didn't seem to have a problem with it. The caller who made the suggestion was still on the line listening in.
Jessica sat on the attachment and Gary started the machine up slowly. She was already moaning at 30 percent power. Gary slowly turned it up and Jessica was gasping for air and moaning like crazy. Gary turned it up to full speed but she sounded like she was cumming pretty hard again. She got off the machine and was shaking again. Sgt. Manning said he couldn't believe what he had seen. Jessica said she needed a towel because she was so wet.
Artie told her that she had to be in the hall of fame with that Sybian ride. Howard gave her some more plugs for her web site ClubJessicaJaymes.com and asked Sgt. Manning if he was going to stick around. Manning said he was going to hang out and thank some people, including Howard. Artie asked Jessica not to accidentally slip on to Manning's cock on her way out. She just laughed and said she'd make sure that didn't happen.
Howard said a friend of his called him over the weekend and said that he had heard the Mark Harris song ''I'm a Gay Papa.'' Howard played a little bit of the song and tried to figure the song out because they were never able to figure out why he was singing about himself in that way. Howard then said that his friend asked if they haven't earned the right to meet Mark's kids because he's always talking about what a great father he is.
Artie thought that they had met one of his kids but Howard said his daughter was supposed to have come up but she never made it to the studio over at K-Rock. Howard said this friend of his was on fire because he was asking about Mark Harris' kids and about Jennifer Love Hewitt. He pointed out that she's still living at home with her mother and she's 32 years old. Howard said he wants to talk to Carson Daly about that because he dated her for a while.
Artie said he was offered a part in a TV show with Jennifer and he was afraid that he was going to offend her mother, who was an Executive Producer on the show, so he didn't want to do it. He also said the script was horrendous.
Howard noticed that Jeff Shick from IBM was out in Gary's office. He said that Jeff is the man who got him into computers years ago and he's glad that he did. Howard asked Sgt. Manning if he was into computers and Keith said he just checks his e-mail and stuff. That got them back into their discussions about the Iraq war. Howard asked him if he ever saw guys getting letters from their wives who were breaking up with them. Keith said that's very common over there. He said he loves his wife so much because she's stuck with him through all of that.
Artie wanted to take Keith out shopping and let him buy anything he wants. He said he was going to spend the money on him that he would normally have spent on a broad. Artie said he really appreciates what this guy does for this country. He said that it was really tough when they heard that he was sick in a hospital in Germany.
Howard said that if he was the President of this country, he would just pull everyone out of Iraq the day he took office. Keith said that he would vote for Howard if he ran and he would get everyone to vote for him.
Keith was telling Howard about his personal life and how he's been married for 8 years and still hasn't had a honeymoon. He said he's been in the military for 18 years so he has just 2 more to go before he can retire.
Keith was also talking about the rules they have for fighting and how they can't shoot unless they've been fired upon themselves. He said that he had to get permission to come on the show and they warned him to be careful about what he says on the air. Howard played more of Mark Harris' ''I'm a Gay Papa'' song while Artie goofed on it.
Jon Hein came in with his show preview. Howard was singing about his 'gay TiVo' to the tune of Mark Harris' song. Howard asked Jon if he likes that show 'How I Met Your Mother.' Jon said he kind of likes it but he's waiting to see how Studio 60 does in the ratings because they don't have any likeable characters on the show.
Howard played even more of the Mark Harris song and goofed on that. He spent some more time talking to Sgt. Manning who was telling Howard how little they had to do to pass the time over in Iraq. Howard asked him if there were any gay guys getting it on over there. He said if they were, he didn't see it going on. He got some stuff that Howard went to him while he was over there. He got an iPod and some Chinese porn.
Jon Hein got back to his preview and said they'll be talking about Howie Mandel's visit and about Jessica Jaymes' Sybian rides.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Robin's earlier comments about being jealous of the notice Howard gets in the press. He thinks that she is just a sidekick and she won't be getting the same kind of notice that he gets. Howard said he likes Robin's honesty and he's glad she's there. He had her start her news a short time later.
Howard asked Sgt. Manning how long he's been friends with the show. Manning said that he's been friends with them for 8 years now. He gave Howard a few more details about the time he's served. Howard asked him what it's like to kill someone for the first time. Keith said that it's strange when you shoot a guy and he just drops, but you have to get up and keep moving after that.
Manning said he's in therapy right now but he's not a drinker or anything like that. Howard told him he has to keep going because he doesn't want him to lose his marbles. Manning said his wife is great and she's pushing him to go to therapy. He let her know that he loves her a few times during the show today.
Keith said that he has had some panic attacks since he got home. He said he had a couple of road side bombs go off while he was over there. Then he came back here and a car would backfire and he would end up on the ground because he's so freaked out. He said when the bombs went off over there he would literally shit his pants. He said that other guys over there would do the same thing and shit their pants. One guy pissed himself a little bit as well.
Keith said he's just glad he's still alive and there talking to them. Howard told him he's glad he's back home too. Keith gave a few shout outs to his friends and family. He talked a little more about the scary shit that went on over there and also mentioned that his friend Mark was there with him. He said that Mark isn't in the military but he is Federal.
Howard had the guys bring Mark in and asked him if he was packing heat. Mark said he does but they took it from him at the front door. Mark works for the FBI so Howard told him it was a pleasure to meet him. Keith said that Mark is his best friend and he was his best man at his wedding. Howard spent a short time talking to him and then had Robin get back to her news.
Howard took a call from a guy who was wondering about the comments Howard made last week about nuking Iraq. Howard told the guy he had to put that in context and then let Sgt. Manning comment on it. Manning said they just have to pull the soldiers out of that country before they do something like that.
Howard interrupted Robin's news and spent a couple of minutes talking to Mark about his FBI job trying to find out more about that. Mark couldn't give too many details though.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:40am.
Howard said he was just reading another story in the paper about what a failure he is and how he's going back to terrestrial radio. He said they also wrote that all of his guests have dried up. Artie said that now that he's in the industry he realizes what kind of bullshit there is in the news. He said about 80 percent of it is just lies.
Howard said this guy John Mainelli seems to hate him and always seems to have it in for him. He prints stories about him that just aren't true. He read some of the article about where Mainelli claims that there are rumors flying around that say Howard is going to do what Opie and Anthony did and return to terrestrial radio from the ''obscurity'' of satellite radio.
Howard read that Mel Karmazin is trying to cut a deal with Farid Sulemon on terrestrial radio to get him back there. Howard said that he would know something about that if it was happening because he would have some say in a deal like that. Howard said that Mainelli says they're saying that rumors won't die about that story but Howard pointed out that's because this guy won't let it go.
Howard said that there's no way he's going back to terrestrial radio. He has over 4.7 million people subscribing to SIRIUS already and there's no reason to go back to that horrible terrestrial radio. He said he had dinner with a guy last night who is very high up in the radio industry who said he loves to listen to the show now that there are such short breaks. No more 20 minute commercial breaks like there were on terrestrial radio.
Howard read more of Mainelli's article and read that all of their celebrity guest bookings have dried up. He asked Gary if that's true and then pointed out that their guests on terrestrial radio weren't all that great. Gary said that they were supposed to have Aerosmith come in last week but they were off one day and they couldn't work around the schedule. Howard said he also only has guests on the show that he wants to have in.
Mainelli said that Artie's movie bombed even though it was heavily plugged on the show. Howard didn't know he was responsible for that as well. Mainelli also claims that his web site traffic is down by 71 percent in the past year but Howard said that isn't true either. He said there are articles out there which say those statistics are a lie. He said that SIRIUS' web site traffic is higher than ever. He also said that his name is still being searched a lot on Yahoo and Google so the stats about him being searched on the web being down 90 percent is just another lie.
Howard said that Mainelli is another Stern basher who is trying to smear his name. He said they have plenty of celebrity guests coming up. Gary said that they just had Howie Mandel on the show. Donald Trump is coming up in a few weeks. Johnny Knoxville and the guys from Jackass are also coming on.
Howard pointed out that when he came to this company, they had radios just sitting on the shelves. Now they've turned the market around on XM and have been outselling them. That's the kind of power he has. He said there's some kind of jealousy coming from guys like that and he doesn't get it. Howard said he doesn't know why someone would be jealous of someone who has worked very hard and has won over millions of fans.
He said he meets a lot of people who claim that they're just like him and have similar lives as he does. Then they read about his success and think that they should have the same kind of success. There are some people who just can't stand that. That and the fact that his name sells newspapers.
Gary said that he just went and looked up some names of people who have been there in the past 9 months. He rattled off a bunch of names and they've had plenty of celebrity guests in that time. Howard said he wants to get a hold of Mainelli and ask him how he knows that these things are true that he's writing about. He doesn't call them to question them about the stuff he's printing.
Howard said he knows that Mainelli used to work in the radio business but he's not sure why he has to write that shit. He's not sure how he can write it and still have a conscience. Gary gave Howard a few more names of people who have been in there over the past few months. Howard said they are pretty much the same celebrity names that they had at K-Rock but they do get some big guests once in a while. Gary said their celebrity guest list hasn't dried up as far as he's concerned.
Howard said people have been predicting his end since he started out in the business. He's been doing it for over 25 years now and he sees no end in sight. Robin also pointed out that no one has ever written an article about how Howard was number one for many years and it will probably never happen again. Howard said people just want to judge him over everything they can just to bash him.
Howard said he's not bothered by whether or not his name is searched on the web. He said that stuff doesn't matter to him but someone wrote that he is scared and bothered by it. He said it's just shoddy journalism as far as he's concerned.
Howard read that he read that there was some crying going on in Elisabeth Hassleback's dressing room over the fact that Rosie O'Donnell has been hassling her on The View and it turns out that's not true. Howard said there was once an article about how he bought a stripper a car one time and that was completely untrue. Artie said he had an article about him getting up and performing on stage with a band and that story was completely untrue as well. They just seem to post stuff in the paper without backing them up.
Howard said things are just weird right now and if he goes out to do any promotion, these guys are going to write that he's desperate. He took a call from a guy who said this stuff is unbelievable. Howard said that no one has gone to a pay service, like he did, and made it a success. He's already been successful at bringing fans over to this pay service and the first year isn't even over yet. He's not feeling like a failure at all.
Gary said that he and Jason were writing down a list of the reasons that people have said were going to bring Howard's show to an end. Howard's divorce, the fact that he has no enemies are just two reasons that people have claimed were going to ruin his show. Howard's move from Afternoons to Mornings was going to ruin him. The syndication of his show was supposed to ruin his show according to reporters because he wouldn't have that local flavor of other radio stations. Howard's comments about Selena, his movie release, the show getting older, other shows coming after him and his move to SIRIUS were just some of the other things that were supposed to bring his show to the end.
Gary said that John Mainelli would also point out that Howard's show was over when he'd have the smallest drop in ratings in New York after having 25 books at number one. They only point out the negatives and never the positives. Robin said that these people must still be jealous of his career to still be printing stuff like this.
Howard said that he was planning on retiring from terrestrial radio before he moved to satellite so he has no desire to go back to that awful medium. He's no longer being bothered by the FCC and it would be the biggest mistake to go back there after bringing so many fans over to satellite with him. He says he won't go back. Howard said that his fans will eventually come over to SIRIUS.
Bobo called in and said that they're saying that there is no longer water cooler talk about his show anymore so that's why Howard is freaking out. Howard said he never even thinks about nonsense like that so he's not sure where they get that from.
Bobo mentioned Opie and Anthony so Howard said that it must be horrible to be them because their names are never mentioned without his name being mentioned. He said that the only reason they were on Letterman is because they were pushed on there by management. He pointed out that they only had 30,000 people sign up for their show when it was an extra charge at XM. He also pointed out that they were pushed on Letterman by management and that's what it's like to be them. He said it's got to be tough for them.
Howard said that he had three companies come to him with terrestrial radio offers but he turned down all three saying that he has no desire to go back there. He said he already had his time there and now he's done with it. If he went back there, he'd consider this satellite radio venture to be a failure. He hated having Tom Chiusano chopping up his show all the time. He wanted to move on after that so he let Bobo go. He said he can say over and over again that he's not going back to terrestrial radio but these guys like John Mainelli insist on printing that he is.
There were also some e-mails about Trent Reznor since Howard mentioned his name yesterday. Howard thought that Trent had disappeared but the fans let him know that he just released an album last year. There were also a few e-mails about the Pope discussions they had on the show yesterday.
A Canadian e-mailer said that SIRIUS is outselling XM radios up there by 2-1. Howard said that will never make it into the news though. He said that's a complete reversal of the sales figures but all of the reporters out there will leave that out of any news about his show.
Some people wrote in about Robin's comments about how jealous she was of Howard when she saw him on 60 Minutes the other night. Howard heard that Sal was going off on her during the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Robin said she heard that he had done that as well but didn't hear the show. Howard read an e-mail about that show and one guy thought it was Jon Hein who was going off on Robin. It was actually Sal though.
Howard had some audio from yesterday's Wrap Up Show where Sal went off on her. Sal said he loves Robin on the show but it is 'The Howard Stern Show' and he could fill her spot with anyone else. Sal was saying he's very happy to be working for the show himself even though he's in debt. He seems to think that Robin is just another woman who doesn't appreciate where she came from. Then he said that the problem with women is that the more you give them, the more they want. He seems to think that's what Robin is like and that's why she showed that jealousy toward Howard.
Gary said that Sal may have been angry because he and his wife got into a fight over his son's birthday party. Sal had a KISS cover band there at the party and he spent more time talking to them than he did talking to his own kids. Howard said that KISS is a goof and a joke and he can't imagine that his son is into the band. Sal says they are into them though. Gary said that Richard Christy dressed up as one of the members of the band and they ended up going into the bathroom to video tape a fake blow job between two of the KISS members.
Sal came in and said that he turned his son onto the band so he does like them. Howard said that's because kids worship their fathers and will listen to stuff that their parents listen to. Howard and Gary wondered why Sal didn't have Spongebob Squarepants at the party instead of a phony KISS band. Sal said he thought it would be fun to have KISS at the party. Gary told him that they weren't KISS though, they were a fake band.
Sal said that his wife didn't want him to bring the KISS band to the party so it wasn't easy to make that happen. He said they did the fake blow job after all of the kids had left the party.
Howard asked Sal what his problem is with Robin. Sal then started to go off on her about the comments she made on the show yesterday. He was talking about what an ego-maniac she is and going off on her but Howard told him he was out of line. Sal thinks that Howard and Robin are like God and Satan and Robin wanting to move on is like Satan moving on from being God's right hand man. Howard and the guys seemed to think he was out of his mind.
Robin said that no one respects and admires Howard more than she does. Howard went right into some mail about Sal. People were calling for him to be taken off the show because they think he's a dangerous person. Sal then started talking about how you can't put a woman in a position of power because men are the ones who are supposed to be in the power positions.
Howard told Sal he thinks he's a bit out of line with his comments about Robin. Sal wanted to know what he meant by that so Howard told him that Robin was just trying to say that she just had a twinge of jealousy when she saw him on 60 Minutes the other night. She doesn't really have feelings about him, it's more about her own life and career. Robin said that's true because it's more about the problems she has with her own life, it's not about Howard.
Howard took a call from Dominic Barbara who said that Sal might be the most disturbed person they've ever had on the show. He started to bring up the panty sniffing incident but Howard didn't want to get into all of that so he hung up on him.
Sal asked if Fred had those same feelings that Robin did when he watched 60 Minutes. Fred said those were Robin's thoughts and not everyone is going to react to that stuff the same way. Sal thinks that Robin needs to get some help but Howard pointed out that Sal is the one who needs help.
The Howard TV guys showed some video of Richard Christy going into the bathroom to do the KISS blow job thing. He was dressed up as Peter Criss and another guy was dressed up as Paul Stanley. The two of them pretended to be blowing each other. Howard watched that for a few seconds and had them shut it off.
Robin mentioned that she had her first driving lesson yesterday. That led to Howard reading a phony news article that a fan wrote about her lesson and how they had to close the track for a week to repair the damage she caused out there. Gary came in and said that he had some notes and that Robin got her car up to 150 miles per hour. She showed up in flip-flops so they had to go out and find her some shoes. One guy there gave her his fire retardant shoes to help her out.
Howard asked Robin about going 150 miles per hour. They were very happy with how Robin did according to the notes that Gary had. Robin said that Bubba is getting nervous about the race and he's already complaining that he's never had practice on a track like Pocono Raceway. Robin said she heard that Bubba was talking to Steve Langford about the whole thing and it sounds like he's already losing his mind. She said that if she does beat Bubba in a race she's afraid that they're going to lose him.
Howard had some video of Robin doing her race in a stock car. They watched that and Robin said that she wasn't scared at all. She said it was actually a lot of fun. They had some video of her climbing out of the car, which doesn't have doors, and no one was helping her. She said they can't help her, she has to figure out how to do it herself.
Artie said he once had his convertible up to 125 out in California and he got pretty scared doing that. Robin said she was actually getting bored doing 150 and wanted to go even faster. She said she had to keep her focus while at that speed because you don't want to screw anything up while going that fast.
Robin was saying that she thinks that Bubba might not be a real race car driver and that his race car driver buddies just let him pretend to be one. Howard asked her what she's going to do if she has to take a dump while in the middle of a race. Robin said you just don't go. Gary told Howard that Cara Buono had some other places to go so they had to get to her pretty quick. Howard went right to break after that.
Howard had the guys bring in Cara Buono who plays Artie's girlfriend in his movie 'Beer League.' Artie said she's also playing Christopher's wife on The Sopranos right now. Cara came in and Howard told her that he thinks that Artie might want her to be his real girlfriend. Artie wasn't looking at her and he does that with a lot of people.
Howard heard that Cara had some strange experiences with Artie during the movie shoot. Artie wouldn't kiss her on the lips and he would just do a cheek to cheek thing. Artie said he had to kiss a girl in the movie ''The Bachelor'' and he did the same thing. He said he gets the feeling that the girl is creeped out by kissing him and he just doesn't do it. He feels that he's doing them a favor by not kissing them. Howard said that he gets that feeling but he goes right in and kisses them anyway.
Howard asked Cara what she meant about the kissing so she told him about a scene where they were supposed to be making out and they ended up just rubbing cheeks and doing more of a puppy kiss type of thing. Artie said he really does feel that he's doing her a favor by not kissing her. He was also saying that Dana was there on the set of the movie the day they had their make out scene. Cara also had a boyfriend at the time.
Howard asked why Artie had Dana there on the set. Artie said she was helping him out a lot with stuff he was doing and it would have seemed kind of odd if he had asked her not to come down. Artie said she was almost an assistant to him during the movie shoot. Cara said Dana was very supportive and she didn't seem to have a problem with him kissing her.
Artie had heard that Cara's boyfriend had a problem with her making out with guys so that was another thing that caused some issues. Cara said that it's tough for guys who aren't actors to see their girlfriends making out with other guys. Howard said that Beth had to make out with a guy when she was on ''Less Than Perfect'' one time. He said she was asked to do another sitcom but if she keeps that up, he's going to have to break up with her.
Cara said that doing kissing scenes aren't all that sexy because you're more worried about messing up make-up and stuff like that. Howard asked her if she had any sexual feelings for Artie. She was just laughing and didn't say. Howard asked her how she got the Jersey accent down. She said she grew up in New York and actually lost that accent so she had to come up with the Jersey accent. She did a little bit of that for Howard when he asked.
Howard asked Cara if she has a boyfriend. She said she actually broke up with the guy she was dating about a year ago. He was into fencing according to Artie. Cara said that he just wasn't 'the one' and that's why things didn't work out. She said she thinks she'll know when she finds the right guy.
Cara told Howard she had dreams of being an astronaut until the space shuttle blew up. She said that kind of screwed things up. She was also saying that the reason she got into acting was because boys wouldn't ask her out so she figured that doing kissing scenes in acting would help her out. Howard and Artie joked about how she ended up making out with Artie in her future.
Cara was talking about how she had a 1280 score on her SAT test and how that was low. The guys let her know that they had a guy on the show who had in the low 700s on his test. That was KC Armstrong. Howard said his daughters also had high scores on their tests and he's not sure how that happened.
Gary said that he was looking at the notes about Cara and Will had asked her if she was attracted to Artie. She said that she's more into nerdy book type guys. Cara said that she likes to run and she'd want a guy who could run with her... and Artie isn't that type of guy. Howard let her know that he runs and he's run as far as 12 miles before. She told him he should do a marathon, that's what she's doing.
Cara said that she's doing her fourth marathon soon and also talked about some of the other things she does in her life. She told a story about a lesbian friend she has who had always told her that she was her type. Cara said she went to Scores for her bachelorette party and she got her first lap dance there. Cara said that the girl dancing for her was very soft and sexual. The dancer was kissing her neck and stuff so she was wondering if that happens all the time. Artie and Howard told her it's never happened to them.
Cara said that she did kiss her lesbian friend on her bachelorette night out. She said she liked kissing her too. Howard read that Cara was a fan of the show back when she was in high school and tried calling the show trying to get him to take her to her prom. Howard said that he and Fred used to take girls to their proms and would have a lot of fun doing it. That was back when they were down in Washington, DC. They told Cara about how they would take the girls to the prom in a limo. They'd leave after the prom and would leave the girls hanging for the after party. The girls would get all upset over that.
Artie said he went out to see his movie and he saw this girl he took to the prom many years ago. He said her sister went off on him for telling a story about robbing the bank because her sister was the one who was with him. Cara said that she tried calling into Howard's show to get that prom date but she was never able to get through.
Howard asked Cara if she's getting paid well while working on The Sopranos. She said she's doing okay and working on the Sopranos is pretty good for her. She was also on Third Watch for a while. Howard wrapped up with her and gave her a plug for her run in the New York City Marathon. She's doing the run to raise some money for a charity. She was also getting a plug for ''Beer League'' which is opening around the country on September 29th according to Artie.
Howard asked Cara what she thought about Artie and Dana breaking up. She said she felt sad for them because they seemed to be so good for each other. She asked Artie about couples therapy. Fred told her that's what started the break up. Artie said he went to therapy once and he felt more beat up after that than anything else. Howard started to sing a song about Artie and Dana as Fred was playing some sad piano music.
Cara asked Artie if there's any chance that they'll survive. Artie told her that his liver has more of a chance of surviving. Howard went into his Dana impression by getting on his megaphone and talking to Artie. Artie sarcastically said that this is his new favorite bit on the show. Howard goofed on Artie for a short time and joked that she had poisoned her dog for him. That led to Artie saying that her dog was on the set all the time and it was huge. He said that Cara could attest to that.
Howard kept going with the Dana impression and goofed on Cara a little bit. He also continued to goof on Artie and all of the stuff he must have done wrong with her. That also led to the guys telling Cara about the time Artie bought Dana a diamond, without the ring, when he was thinking of proposing to her. Artie told Howard to keep up that impression because he's working on a Beth impression for when he breaks up with her. Howard got out of the Dana impression a short time later. He congratulated Cara on her success and wished her luck in the upcoming marathon. She said this one is going to be her last one and she'll be running through an injury she has. Howard went to break a short time later.
The reporters were talking about how SIRIUS was losing money so that meant that Howard's move to satellite was a failure. They were also saying that his ego is crushed since he moved to satellite. Howard said that you can't trust anything this guy John Mainelli says. The TV news reporters pick up on his lies and make it seem like it's gospel. He played another clip from the local channel 11 News where the reporter says that rumors are ''swirling'' about his move back to terrestrial. Howard said he has a contract to stay there at SIRIUS and he has $500 million reasons to stay there.
Howard said that the story that's not getting out there is the fact that SIRIUS is crushing XM in sales. He doesn't understand how this is a failure. He said there's not much he can do about these reports who are marking him as a failure. He said that reporters just seem to hate him. He pointed out that Oprah Winfrey signed a $50 million deal to go to XM and she hasn't brought over one listener... but no one is reporting that she's a failure.
Howard said he feels good about where he's at and he hasn't been complaining about anything at SIRIUS. He said that the owner of SIRIUS had him over to his house for dinner recently and he was thanked by the guy for turning the business around. How that's a failure is beyond him. He said that today is a weird day and he'd better watch out. He said Beth asked him about this article that was in the paper this morning and he jokingly told her that he just hadn't told her about the news and it was happening tomorrow. He said his whole career has been really weird and that's why he wanted to just retire.
Howard said that for some guy who isn't so interesting, it's funny how everyone is still writing about him. He said that the number of searches for his name on the internet is not a gauge of how well he's doing. It's the number of radios he sells that matters.
Howard said Richard told him that he didn't want to be the receiver in that whole thing, he wanted to be the guy walking his dick toward Sal.
Howard had a prank call that Sal and Richard made to this public access TV show called ''Talking Yankees.'' They've called this guy before. He moved the show to a different time trying to get away from the prank calls that he was getting from these guys. Richard called him up and told him he found worms in his stool. Then Sal called him and said he loves when he talks about the weather. The host, Jonah, hangs up on them as soon as they start talking. He said he knows who ''these people'' are and says he may go visit them in person. Artie was laughing his ass off because the host says he only has two people calling into his show.
Jonah was about to give out Richard's phone number on the air but he stopped himself after 646. Richard kept calling in with stories about ringworm and things like that so Jonah finally said ''Fuck you!'' to him and said he wasn't going to take anymore calls.
Howard said he's got to be under 300 pounds. Artie said he's permanently in sweat pants at this point. Artie hopped on the studio scale and came in at 282 pounds. Artie said he was going to go leap from the building when he heard that. He said he may have to start doing blow again to replace his food addiction. He said that getting coke is easier than getting pussy for him so he may have to do that instead of getting laid.
Howard had the guys bring in Steve-O and Bam Margera who were there to promote the movie ''Jackass Number 2.'' He told them 'Bravo' on the new movie which they got to see in a screening recently. Howard said that they were reading on the air about the funniest comedies of all time and he feels that the first Jackass movie was one of the funniest movies he's ever seen. Bam said that most people have ADD and they can't follow a story so that's why they like that Jackass stuff.
Howard said that because of Steve-O he's watched some of the other jackasss type of shows and he just doesn't think everyone can do it the way these guys do. Howard said the critics don't want to say that their movie is so funny for some reason. He's not sure what it is but he thinks that Jackass 2 is great. Howard said that he's been accused of revealing too much about this movie.
Howard said that Johnny Knoxville really put out a lot for this new movie and was really hard core. He said that Steve also put himself out there and did some crazy stuff. Steve said that he was actually bed ridden for a while and he had to put himself out there to do some crazy stuff for the movie. Steve said he could have lost his foot in one segment because he had a shark coming toward him and one of the guys freaked out and told him to watch out. He ended up kicking a mako shark in the head and chasing him away.
Howard asked Bam about the stunts they do and if he thinks that he's a professional at what he does. Bam said he did learn to roll out of crashes when learning to skate board so he's a pro in that way. Howard said that if you get hit in the head with a medicine ball while riding a skate board, you can't know how to roll out of that.
Howard wanted to know if they'll show someone getting killed if one of the guys ends up dying while shooting one of these movies. Steve said he wasn't sure about that. Howard thinks that they should guarantee that they do something like that because it's bound to happen one day.
Howard said that these guys are getting some hot chicks these days. He said that Steve was dating a model and Bam is rumored to have banged Jessica Simpson. Bam claims that never happened but Howard told him he's going to choose to believe it. Steve also talked about jerking off in a bed that Nicole Ritchie was sleeping in. He said he never banged her though.
Howard asked the guys how much money the first Jackass movie made. The guys said that it made like $60 million but this new one is testing very well so far and they may be sitting on top of a monster. Howard told the guys he hopes that they're going to make some good money off of this movie because they really deserve it. Robin said that she'd hate to think of Steve ending up in a wheelchair from doing these stunts.
Bam said that he agreed to do the movie until he had 2 broken bones so he kept going because nothing was getting broken. Bam said they shared a bunch of ideas for stunts and agreed to do certain things. Bam showed the guys the tattoo on his ass which turned out to be cock and balls instead of skull and bones like they were supposed to put there.
Gary came in and asked if it was true that they had a $7 million life insurance policy on them. Steve said he didn't hear anything about that. They also talked about the experts that they have around while doing some of their stunts and how they do have an ambulance standing by before they even turn the cameras on.
Bam said he once did a stunt where he got hit by a car on purpose. He said he was starting it out at slow speeds but by the time it got to 30 miles per hour he was knocked out. Bam also told another story about jumping into a pond that was only about 2 feet deep and gashing his head open. He said he could have been paralyzed easily by doing something so stupid. Instead he just bashed his head open and had some staples put in there.
Howard wondered why Johnny Knoxville is getting back into this stuff after doing those other movies. Bam said he thinks that Johnny loves doing this stuff more than doing regular movies. Howard said he thinks that everyone stepped it up a notch for this new movie. Even Wee Man stepped up and did some crazy shit.
Steve-O said that they may have to have an amputation if they end up doing a third Jackass movie. He said they actually have a guy ready to do that. They had a guy who has a finger that got screwed up during a shoot and he needs to get the finger amputated anyway. Steve said he wants to have the guy stick his pinkie up his ass and then have it chopped off so they can call it the Stinky Pinkie.
Howard asked the guys about the way that Jay Leno treats them. Steve said that Jay does seem to treat them like he's disgusted by what they do but if that's the way he feels he shouldn't have him on the show. He treats them like their a bunch of assholes while Jimmy Kimmel treats them great.
Howard asked Bam if he's admitting that he had sex with Jessica Simpson or not. Bam said that things got blown out of proportion there. Steve-O started to laugh and asked him what got blown out of proportion, her ass? Howard tried to get some details out of Bam and found out that he met her while he was out at a party and then went back to her apartment and had some margaritas.
Howard said that if he banged Jessica, he'd be calling his friends from the bedroom. Steve-O said that Bam has never admitted to having sex with Jessica Simpson but he's also never denied it. Howard said that Bam is like the last person you'd ever think would have sex with Jessica Simpson because she seems like she's America's Sweetheart or something. Howard said it is amazing that these guys are getting some world class trim these days.
Howard and Steve realized they have something in common. They're both pre-mature ejaculators. Steve said he uses condoms to make himself last longer. Howard asked Bam if he has any pressure on him when he's banging chicks. Steve said he feels some pressure when he's with chicks. He said he never did do Nicole Ritchie but he did jerk off a few times while he was in bed with her. He said she was dead asleep while he was rubbing one out the first time. He was going back and forth thinking about her and other chicks while he was doing that. He said that she was totally awake while he was doing it the other two times he did it though. He thinks that she was into it.
Steve said he didn't want to offend Nicole in any way because he really wanted to be in the tabloids with her. He said he ended up getting sick and tired of the comments they were posting in the paper about stuff he wasn't really saying about her.
Robin said she heard that Nicole got Steve off of coke. Steve said he met her while he was on a coke binge and he was having so much fun with her that he got off the coke for a while. He hasn't done coke in over 8 months now. He said he loved being with her but it was just for the press. Howard said it seems like a lot of chicks want to bang these guys because of what they do.
Robin said that her new favorite Jackass is Bam but she used to really love Steve-O. Steve said that really hurt his feelings.
Howard got a note from Jimmy Pop of the Bloodhound Gang who said that he saw Jessica taking an ''after fuck pee'' one time when he was hanging out with Bam. Bam said he was ready to go over to Jimmy's house and beat the crap out of him over that.
Howard asked Steve about the claims he made the last time he called in. He had claimed that his father was the head of Nabisco but someone wrote in and said that he was the head of security for Nabisco. Steve said that as he understands it, he wasn't the head of security, he was the head of the Pepsi division down in South America or something like that. He said he's going to get to the bottom of it when he sees his father at the Jackass premiere this week.
Howard said that Sal and Richard seem to be very envious of what these guys do and they want to do something for them in the studio. They wanted to hold their sacks over a lit candle or something like that. The guys came in and they were all ready to hang their ball sacks over the candle. They did some art work on their bodies to make their penises look like other things. Sal was painted up to look like Gene Simmons of KISS. Richard was painted to look like Howard with his penis being the nose.
Steve said he thinks this stuff is fantastic. Sal and Richard were ready to burn their sacks and Steve-O was taking his clothes of to get ready for that himself. He said he was thinking about what he could do for the show and came up with his own stunt to do. Howard wanted to put a stop to everything they were doing in there because they were getting a little crazy. Sal and Richard were ready to burn their balls so Howard warned them that they were going to hurt themselves.
Gary became the time keeper and let the guys go ahead and do it. Richard burned his balls by putting his balls right on the flame. He burned the hair right off of them. Richard showed the guys his burned balls and Steve-O was about to vomit. Gary asked him to please not do that in there though. Sal was complaining about the way Richard did the flame thing but it was all about who got there faster so that's why he went in so quick.
Steve O was going to do this stunt he calls the Double Back Back Flip. He tucks his balls in between his legs and then does a back flip. Howard said they'll have that on Howard TV so people can check it out there. He wasn't even able to describe what he had just seen.
Howard asked Bam about walking off his own SIRIUS radio show recently. Bam said that his uncle is in jail over something so stupid that he got pissed off and walked off the show. He said that he was really upset about the whole thing and that was going on while he was getting ready to go on air so he flipped out and walked off. Howard had the audio so he had Fred play that so Steve could hear it. Steve got a couple of laughs out of that.
Howard said he was going to predict that Jackass Number 2 was going to do $35 million in it's opening weekend. Steve said he thinks they'll do better than the first one which did $22 million the first weekend. Howard asked Bam if Jessica Simpson is fully shaved in the middle of that discussion. Bam didn't answer.
Howard took a few phone calls for the guys. One of the callers was a chick who Steve knew. She said she just wanted to say hey to Steve. Another caller brought up a scene in the movie where one of the guys, Chris Pontius, drinks horse sperm. The guys wondered if that's gay. They weren't quite sure what it was. Richard, who was still naked, asked Howard if he wanted to play the game they had set up. Howard had Jon Hein come in with the game but Steve was talking about all of the stuff that he had done the morning he had called the show last. He was doing a bunch of stuff like Nitrous Oxide and stuff like that.
Steve was also telling stories about going to Paris Hilton's house and having Christian Slater show up. He said that Slater went nuts that night and was hitting on him. He claims he was hitting on him and doing some other wacky stuff. Slater ended up getting arrested that night and it was in the news. Howard remembered the story but didn't know that Steve was there. Steve said it was awesome that night. He said that Christian came back that night and he ended up taping him to a chair. Steve said Christian didn't do anything gay with him but he was coming on to him.
Jon Hein had the game where they asked the guys if they have done certain drugs or stunts. The first thing was heroin. Steve said he's never done it. Swallowed human urine? Steve said he's done that, so has Bam. Swallowed human feces? Steve-O said no, Bam said he did eat horse shit but not human shit. He also said the shit was kind of dried up and tasted kind of like hay and dirt with some shit crystals in it. Richard pointed out that he and Sal have swallowed each other's feces.
Jon asked the guys if they have ever had a penis in their mouth. Steve said he once kissed a guy on the head of his penis for a stunt. Steve said he was doing that to help rid the world of homophobia. Bam said he once punched Wee Man in the balls skin on skin after Wee Man punched him in the balls on stage one time.
Gary came in and said that Mike in the news room saw Steve-O do something to a guy one time at a show that was pretty wild. Steve had chewed up a light bulb and an audience member threw up some alcohol on him after that. Steve then called him on stage and made him drink his piss instead of kicking him out.
Jon asked the guys if they ever drank human blood. Neither of them have done that. Jon asked them about using Crystal Meth. Steve said he's done that but he's glad he never really got into it. Steve also said that he's done cocaine but never smoked crack. Bam said he doesn't smoke anything, not even cigarettes.
Jon asked the guys if they've ever gotten any STDs. Steve said he's clean right now and Bam is amazed by that because he's been with so many chicks.
Ralph called in and asked Bam how long he waited before running out of the room after banging Jessica Simpson. Bam said that was the thing, she wasn't that annoying when he met her in person. Bam wasn't saying too much and was kind of skirting around the question. He said he did leave at 8 in the morning and the rest of the night was a big blur.
Howard thanked the guys for coming in and then wrapped up the interview. He told the guys they risk a lot doing these movies but it is some funny stuff their doing. He said he wishes them a lot of luck with this movie and he hopes that they make a lot of money from it so they're all set financially. Steve-O got in a plug for the ''Ultimate Predator'' DVD before Howard went to break.
Howard said that Mainelli claiming that he's miserable at SIRIUS is just a lie. He said he's never had a conversation with anyone about being miserable there. He loves being there. He said the latest information that came out says that they're outselling XM and they have flipped around the whole thing since he got there. He asked Robin if she's ever heard him complain about working there. Robin said it's just the opposite, he never complains about it.
Howard said it seems like XM and terrestrial radio lovers are just bashing the crap out of him and trying to make him look bad. He wonders why no one prints the facts. Howard said he had a quote for everyone and said ''I love it here. I'm never going to terrestrial radio...'' He also said he's not depressed and he will spend the next 4 and a half years there.
Robin wondered if these smear campaigns are starting to work. Howard said they never work and they always go on to be successful. Howard said he could have stayed on terrestrial radio if he wanted to but he doesn't want the FCC on his back. This move to satellite has been nothing but pleasant for him.
Howard asked what facts John Mainelli has about all of the stuff he printed. He said he doesn't appear to have any facts and the reason he puts him in his articles it to sell newspapers.
Artie said that it's great that he has a forum like this to refute those claims. Ralph called in and asked what Howard would have to complain about there because they have all the freedom in the world and the fans are coming over in droves. He pointed out that the show has a flow to it that it never had before with all of the commercials they had to sit through. He said there's not one single thing that would show and inkling that he's miserable there.
Howard said he's had people in his career try to put him in jail. He's been investigated and things like that so working at SIRIUS is the best thing he's ever done. Ralph said that Howard is up working on stuff until 2 in the morning sometimes because he loves his job right now. He's never heard a thing about him being unhappy there at SIRIUS. Howard asked him if he's ever said anything to him about going back to terrestrial radio. Ralph said that has never happened and he's always saying how happy he is there.
No one is sure who is planting these seeds out there about him being unhappy. Howard said that he's also not a failure. He has helped SIRIUS turn around and he's thinking that they're going to crush XM. They've already reversed the sales numbers between XM and SIRIUS so that SIRIUS has 70 percent of the market share while XM has the other 30. It used to be the opposite before he moved there.
Howard said that people used to say that he was never going to get a million people to sign up to pay for his show. Now he's got millions of people signing up and the news reporters have to come up with something else so they pick web searches and say that he's not getting as many as he used to.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's happy that Howard has this outlet to let people know about the lies that reporters are printing. He replayed the audio clip he played earlier where some FOX reporters were discussing Howard's misery there at SIRIUS. Fred pointed out that one of the guys on the show was from a company that owns 2 low power radio stations. Some expert there.
Howard went through that audio clip and commented on the reporter's inaccurate information. He went off on the one guy who was quoting false facts and said he's a retard and that he's out of his mind. He said that they're a bunch of fuckin' assholes.
Howard had another news report where they quoted that same article. Howard said it's really unbelievable. Mutt called in and said that this stuff pisses him off. He said he's been on the web doing some research of his own and everyone out there is saying that the information that the original article had was a bunch of bullshit. Howard said he spoke to his web site guys and they said their traffic is not down. Mutt also said that Google is saying that Howard's name is still being searched just as much as it was last year, the year before that and the year before that.
Howard said that the only stat that really counts is the number of radios that have sold. Mutt said he's had people walk up to him and say that it's horrible how bad the show is doing. He said that the numbers that are being quoted are all bullshit because they're comparing the number of people who were checking him out in January to what it's at now. Howard let Mutt go a short time later.
Steve got in a few more stories that they'll be covering today on Howard 100 News. They'll be talking about Steve Grillo and the tough financial times he's having right now. Steve also talked to Howard about how great Robin was doing yesterday as he was watching her race.
Jon Hein had a quick Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll be talking about Bam and Steve-O's visit. They'll also be talking about Cara Buono's visit and what was discussed during that interview. The John Mainelli article will also be a subject for discussion as will Robin's race car class.
Howard took a call from Celeste who said that a friend of hers over at Free FM (formerly K-Rock) was under the impression that Howard was coming back to terrestrial radio because of the stories that were on the news. Howard thanked her for that call and then had Robin start her news.
Howard had Robin do a few more news stories and then told Gary that he could bring in the fans who were there for a tour of the studio. He said it was okay that they sit in during the news. Howard said a quick hello to Jerry and Mike a short time later. He joked around with them about the ''horrible'' space he works in now and how he just had to get out of there to go back to terrestrial radio.
High Pitch Eric called in during the news claiming that he had some spinach yesterday at the all you can eat Chinese food restaurant. No one believed that he ate spinach though. He also asked if he would like him to go after John Mainelli for him. Howard told him to leave the guy alone. Artie told him that he better have gone out and paid to see his movie over the weekend. Eric said he went and got the biggest bucket of popcorn he could get.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started off the show talking about going out to dinner with his oldest daughter. He then went home and watched some of Spike TV's 'Blade' series. Robin said she likes that show as well even after she poo-pooed it after watching the first couple of episodes.
Artie was talking about Howard's daughter and Howard let him know that she's a big fan of his. She was asking how he was doing while they were out to dinner last night. Artie said he got to know her out in Vegas when they were out there one year. Howard said he didn't remember how she knew him and sometimes his kids get mad at him for not remembering every little detail about their lives.
Howard said he told his daughter about Artie losing Dana and how he's up to 282 pounds. He said she just loves Artie and she was saying he's very nice and considerate. She doesn't understand the drinking, gambling, drug addict part of him though. Robin said that was the year they were in Vegas and Artie had to get out of there because he was afraid that he was going to die if he stayed there much longer.
Howard said his dinner was very, very nice. Beth was out at some movie thing so he jumped into bed and started watching 'Blade' since Beth isn't a fan.
Howard played some of the news clips where people were quoting the article that was in the NY Post yesterday about his possible return to terrestrial radio. Robin told Howard that John Mainelli printed what Howard said on the air yesterday. The reporters are still making it seem that he has failed on satellite and if he can't make it there then maybe no one can.
Howard said that when these reporters are saying that he only has 1 million listeners of his own, and the people at SIRIUS are telling him that there are 4 million, there's something weird going on. Howard said he and his agent were talking and thinking that maybe these stories are being floated to keep the stock prices down.
Howard listened to one news report where they talked about his web site visitors dropping down. He pulled out some research that someone did for him where they compared the web searches for his name from a year ago to what they are today on google.com.
Gary came in and asked Howard if he wanted to hear Penny Crone's interview with John Mainelli. Howard didn't want to listen to it so Gary gave him a quick synopsis of what it said. He said that Penny asked him about everything that she could and found out that John seems to be upset that he doesn't get an answer from Howard when he asks for a quote. He's tired of being pawned off on Howard's agent. Gary said that Penny found that John finds Howard to be one of the greatest radio talents ever and he has no problem printing rumors. He also seems to think there are other radio guys that are more edgy than he is right now. Howard said that if that's the case then he should be writing about them and not about him.
Gary said that Penny pointed out that she used to call into the show and get through to Howard all the time. John thought she had a special line to get through on but she told him she would just call in on the regular line. Howard brought up the rumor thing again and said that there's a rumor that John fucks poodles so he wants to go print that somewhere. He said he has the feeling that he's just printing that stuff because he's upset that he won't call him back.
Howard said he just wants to drop the whole thing and moved on to more news clips where they talk about Howard's whole move to satellite falling apart. He found some of the reports to be kind of funny. He also said that it's kind of weird how Inside Radio started these rumors but the NY Post is taking credit for them. Howard said they keep quoting the reports that his web site traffic is down by 70 percent but Howard says his web guys tell him that's not true, it's not down at all.
One reporter talked about Howard bragging about the $500 million he was getting paid. Howard cut that one off and said he never mentioned that number. That's what was being reported by reporters just like this guy. He continued to play the clip where the reporters talked about Howard's apparent failure on satellite. Artie said that these reporters sound like old people being so out of it they don't even know what's really going on.
Howard played yet another news report where a reporter talks about Howard's satellite run possibly coming to an end. Another reporter said that Howard may have realized that he won't be making it on satellite and now he may be moving back to terrestrial radio. Howard just laughed as they quoted Mainelli's article which was full of speculation. Howard had to stop listening to this one because the reporters had no idea what they were talking about.
Howard said that a friend of his told him that they're predicting that they're going to have 40 million subscribers for satellite radio by the year 2010. He's going to save all of those news reports to play when that happens some day.
Howard got back to the one audio clip he was playing and the dopey reporters were wondering if Howard would have to give back the money he got paid for moving to satellite if he went back to terrestrial radio. Howard said they must be retarded. The reporters also said Howard may be following Opie and Anthony since they went back to terrestrial radio. Howard said that if he only had 30,000 subscribers signing up to hear his show, then he'd have to go back to terrestrial. He said he loves it there at SIRIUS and he has no plans to ever go back to regular radio.
Howard had a report from Keith Olberman's show where he at least pointed out that he denied the rumors. Olberman also had a guest from Talkers Magazine on to talk about how ridiculous the rumors were.
Howard told Richard that he's a homosexual. Richard said his finger wasn't touching his penis, only the paint was touching it. Howard told him that stuff is gay wether or not his finger touched him. Richard said that there was nothing erotic about it though. Howard said that it was a new step for Sal because he had never shown his penis on the air before. The guys said that they're kind of like the guys in that Joe Rogan bit who do gay stuff and don't know that it's gay.
Howard said he was kind of behind in playing some of the bits that the guys have been doing but he also had more news reports to play. He wondered if anyone wanted to hear them. Fred said he wanted to hear them so Howard got into a few more of them.
Howard played some clips where reporters finally started reporting that the rumors were false. They had some quotes from SIRIUS. They were saying that the rumors were false. Howard said that Mel Karmazin was telling him that he would never turn him back over to terrestrial radio.
Gary came in with a picture where Richard was putting paint on Sal's penis. Howard showed that to the guys and said that's definitely gay. He also said that Sal has some tits on him now and that makes him look like a chick. He also asked about Sal's uncircumcised penis. He said he's not used to seeing that look but he does believe in not circumcising guys.
McGreevy read some excerpts from his book where he talked about that day when he kissed this man the way he really wanted to. Artie heard that and said ''Oh my God...'' Artie said he had a stand-up gig up in Boston the weekend the Governor admitted to all of this stuff and before he even got on stage some guy yelled out ''Your Governor sucks cock!''
JD came in and told Howard that there was one clip where McGreevy's lover breaks down and cries during the interview. Howard played a clip where the guy cries while talking about what a great guy McGreevy is. There was another clip where Oprah talked to McGreevy about going behind a Synagogue to have gay sex. Robin said that all of this stuff covers up the stuff he was doing wrong while he was in office.
Howard said that John Mainelli is thrilled that his name is getting mentioned somewhere and that's probably why he writes the stuff that he writes. He said that he's going to continue to service the fans and they have some great programming coming up. He said the best part is that they hardly have any commercials. The caller said he really likes the stuff that he has on his channels.
Howard said he loves working there. He said no one has a job that they really love but if he had to have one, this is the place to work. He said that the management team is great and it's all good for him right now. He has no complaints and doesn't want to leave that place.
The caller asked Artie when he's going to come down to Washington DC. Artie said he hasn't been there for a while and he should go down there.
Howard said that Howie Mandel's 'Deal or No Deal' did really well on Monday night. It came in first place in it's time slot. Howard said it's the dumbest game ever invented but it's fun to watch. He said he finds it very interesting to watch because people will turn down a lot of money to risk the chance at getting more.
Howard said that on September 29th they're going to be celebrating the first anniversary of the birth of Howard 100 and 101. That's when they made the channels live last year. Howard also mentioned that his web site traffic is actually up by 12 percent according to his team.
Robin said that her driver, Gene, was out taking a survey on the streets asking people what kind of satellite radio they had. He said that 26 out of 30 cars had SIRIUS radio.
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