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At 6:00am the heart beat stopped and Fred started to play a couple of sound effects as a farting song parody of the theme from ''2001 A Space Odyssey'' came in. It was full of farts... Something that they couldn't play in the final days of Howard's terrestrial radio show.
Then Howard's old theme song came on and Howard Stern started his official broadcast. He was introduced by George Takei (of Star Trek) who said he was their official announcer for the show. Takei introduced each of the crew, Benjy Bronk, Gary Dell'Abate, Richard Christy, Sal ''the Stockbroker'' Governale, Fred Norris, Robin Quivers and Artie Lange... and then Howard Stern.
Howard said they were riddled with problems this morning. His headphones were squealing, his microphone didn't sound right... and he was ready to go home. He thanked George Takei for his announcing and said that's one of the new things they'll have on the show.
Howard welcomed everyone to non-terrestrial radio and said that he'll be commercial free on this first day but they may have to take a break to fix some of their technical problems. Howard said hello to everyone who came in this morning and then talked about how he had a ton of people wishing him luck with the show today... and he's been in the business for 25 years. He won't have a problem doing the show.
Artie complained that there was no deli in the area that was open so he had to go to his old deli to get his breakfast. Howard said that George Takei will be there all week with them and will be helping out with the press conference stuff they'll be doing this week. Howard said he won't be talking to the press directly, George will do that.
Howard said that he trusts George to do his thing live on the show, unlike Stuttering John on the Tonight Show who has to pre-record his stuff. Howard was going to have George do some announcing and then they were going to take a break so they could fix some of their technical glitches. George Takei did a little more announcing and mentioned some of the stuff they had coming up later in the show. They have a bunch of stuff to get to later in the morning including Howard's discussion about whether or not he got married.
Howard asked George Takei to give them a song so he suggested ''Sentimental Journey'' and when Artie heard that he started to laugh his ass off. Howard decided to play Tom Petty's ''The Last DJ'' so he looked it up in his music library. Fred had to look it up in his system since Howard wasn't able to find it. They played the song and tried to fix their many technical problems.
Howard came back in the middle of the song and said that they seem to have fixed the problem... but it came back a few seconds later. His headphones were too loud and it kept squealing even worse than it was earlier. Scott the Engineer was there to try and help fix the problem. Scott claims that they had the same problem over at the old station but Howard said that wasn't true. Scott seemed to have fixed the problem, at least for now.
Howard heard that there were more activations yesterday than even the day after Christmas so people are rushing to sign up to hear his show. He's very happy about that and that's the good news. It's very gratifying to Howard to know that the fans are coming in. He said he really does think that this is the future of radio.
Howard is proud to be a part of this whole satellite radio thing. He said he did start to have some regrets after the old radio show ended. He worked up 20 years of an audience over there and it was weird to walk away from that. He said he woke up the day after his final show and said he was really pissed at himself. He said he was pissed that he didn't do a good job on the last show. He said he had planned the show in a certain way but changed that at the last minute. He ended up missing half of the speeches. He said he didn't hear his parents or sister's speeches and he gives himself a D minus for the final show. It could have been much better.
Howard thought about cutting back and forth but the whole plan got screwy. He should have just left the microphones on down on the street. He thinks he blew it with that. He also can't believe that he won't be able to just start broadcasting to 18 million people like he could do over there. Now he has 3.3 million at the most.
Howard said he used ''cuntie'' to describe Martha Stewart's daughter the other day. He said that it's really not that much of a curse word though. He said he's got a no cursing rule for Sal the Stockbroker because he just uses it too much. Sal came in and said that he's not going to use those words because he knows that he'll get tea bagged by Richard if he does curse. Sal said that George Takei had just used the C-word. Takei complained that Sal had pronounced his last name wrong.
Howard wanted to take some phone calls and gave out their new phone number which is 888-9-ASSHOLE. They had George Takei do some announcing for the new phone number and then Howard tried to take a call. They were having problems with the audio level.
Callers were letting Howard know that they were happy to hear him on the air again. Howard went on to say that he was really dead over at the new station and really had to get out of there. One caller told Howard that this was great and he loves everyone on the show. Howard said he could have taken off another 6 months and just done interviews for that whole time. This show has been so hyped up there's no way to live up to it on the first show.
Howard asked George if he knew about this guy Pat O'Brien and what went on with the phone sex messages. George knew nothing about it so Howard had to explain it to him. That led to the guys talking to George about how old he is. George said that he's 68 but looks good according to Howard. Howard then gave George more details about the Pat O'Brien voice mail messages and how they weren't unable to play them uncensored in the past. Howard wanted Fred to play some of those clips but he wasn't quite prepared.
Howard played a promo that Richard Christy sang to the tune of Billy Squire's ''Stroke Me'' where they give out the new phone number 888-9-ASSHOLE. Howard thinks that number is very fitting because he was never able to use that word on his show even though other DJs were using it on their shows. He said that he would get fined but other jocks wouldn't.
Fred found the Pat O'Brien audio clips so he played those, uncensored, for George. We've heard the clips before but not without beeps and bleeps. They played another couple of song parodies that Dan the Song Parody Man had created with those clips. They had played them back on the old show but they were filled with beeps as well.
George Takei thought the clips kind of humanized Pat. Howard said he wants to talk to Pat about those clips and find out if he actually got the date with that chick.
That conversation led to Howard asking George if he's ever been with a woman. George said of course he has. He said that was back in the days when he felt he had to be with a woman. We then found out that George's first time was with a man and it was at a Boy Scout camp with one of the counselors. He was only 14 years old at the time. He said the counselor was very handsome. Artie was cracking some jokes and cursing more than Howard was.
Artie pointed out that George's voice sounds so great because he's gay and his mind isn't clouded by pussy like his is. The guys talked about the movie ''Brokeback Mountain'' and George said it was a brilliant film. Howard said he may watch it on DVD but won't go to the theater to see it.
Howard said that Kelly LeBrock has ballooned up to 170 pounds and she's huge. Gary watched the show and said that they have some audio clips available. Howard and Artie got back to George's story about his Boy Scout experience. Artie is a bit homophobic and was joking around about how they have George sitting right next to him. Artie said there are some guys who don't mind getting F-d in the ass and then there are guys who are terrified of that.
George said that he did sleep with a woman for the first time when he was in his late teens. He wanted to find out if he could find another aspect of himself back then. He really liked that woman. Howard said that George was telling this story to Artie and Artie wouldn't look at him. Artie said he likes George and wasn't trying to avoid him. George was saying that Artie wasn't the most attractive man so Artie responded by saying that just for that, he's going to F-him.
Gary told Howard that there are a bunch of Press trucks outside to report on this big day. Howard went on to talk about what went on the day that David Lee Roth started doing his show. He listened to Dave's show and came up with some ideas for him. He was going to call in on the second day of Dave's show to give him the advice he had but wasn't sure if he should call in. He wanted to get involved but thought better of it and figured he should get some sleep instead.
Howard figured he'd call Dave on the air instead of doing it. Gary tried to get through to Dave this morning but they changed the hotline number. Howard said that he wants Dave to confront all of the phone calls he takes because he's pretty sure that they're only taking calls from people they know. He said that Dave was saying that he's this adventurer but he's not taking any risks on the show. He also said that Dave was talking about how the job isn't all that hard but Howard thinks that he should make it hard. It shouldn't come all that easy to him.
Gary said that he was still trying to get through to the David Lee Roth show but he wasn't having any luck. Howard said they have a lot more to get to this morning like the revelations and wether or not he's married. Howard said that he's going to talk about the marriage rumors but everyone will have to wait for that. He took a bit of a break after that and played the opening song parody.
Robin asked Howard to stop for a minute and asked him how he's feeling. Howard said that he's pretty sure that there are only four people listening this morning. He then went on to talk about how there were so many people buying satellite receivers yesterday that there were none to be found in the stores. Robin said she went to Best Buy over the weekend and didn't see any SIRIUS receivers. There were plenty of XM receivers, but none for SIRIUS. Howard said he heard that SIRIUS tuners were the big sellers this holiday season, even bigger than iPods.
Howard said that there was a 9 hour wait yesterday for activating receivers through SIRIUS. Gary brought in some statistics about how many sales they had over the holiday season. He knows that the buyers will like the service wether they listen to his show or not. Robin said she gets all the radio she wants on her satellite radio and hasn't gone back to regular radio since getting hers.
Robin said it's kind of odd not doing commercials because she realized that she got a lot of her news work done during the breaks. Artie said that since they're not taking breaks, he's just going to shit himself. Howard said they were going to have George do some more announcing about the upcoming stuff and Artie told Howard that he'd better not be married. He's afraid that it will spark some conversations between he and Dana that he doesn't want to get into.
Howard was interested in finding out more about the way George would receive the anal. George said that sometimes they would do it in the missionary position and that was surprising to Howard. Robin said she learned that on ''Queer as Folk'' when they would sometimes be in that position.
Howard said that he would have told Dave that any radio show on terrestrial radio takes a year to 18 months before it will reflect audience participation. He needs more time to get the show developed. He also talked about Dave's sidekick and how he seems to be sucking Dave's balls on the air. He said it might be best for that guy to give his honest opinion about what he thinks about the show. Howard said he would suggest to Dave that he have the guy take a lie detector test to find out if he really thought the show was good or not.
Howard was also explaining how he would like to tell Dave about what to do about taking phone calls and how he should take any call that comes in. He said that if Dave is going to do ''reality radio'' he has to take the negative calls with the positive. He would have wished Dave luck with his show because he really does hope that he can pull it off.
Captain Janks called in and said that he has listened to Dave's show and it was pretty bad. He said that Howard's sound checks were better than Dave's show. Janks also said that Tom Chiusano called him and asked him if he was prank calling the show. Janks said he hasn't done that and won't do it. He has no reason to prank call Dave's show at this time. Janks said that someone at K-Rock called him this morning and asked him if it was him calling as Gary from the Howard Stern Show trying to get Howard on the air. It wasn't Janks, it was actually Gary.
Captain Janks had some phone calls that he's never been able to play on terrestrial radio that he wanted to play for Howard. Howard interrupted and said that he kept getting well wishers telling him ''good luck'' this morning as if he's just starting out as a broadcaster today. He's been in the business for 25 years and he knows what he's doing. He also mentioned that they've gone an hour and a half without a commercial break. Janks said that's great.
Howard said that he's loving that they have George Takei as their announcer. They had a meeting one day where they tried to come up with an announcer and someone suggested Takei. Robin thinks that it was Howard who mentioned his name. George is going to remain as their official announcer but he will only be sitting in this week.
Janks interrupted and said that Howard was on CNN and tried to play the report. It was over by the time he got to it. The report was about Howard's stock payoff at SIRIUS so the guys spent a minute talking about that. Howard then had Janks play his prank calls. Janks played a call to C-Span where he asked a guy if he had a big dick. Then he played another call where he asked a female host if she shaves her snatch. Howard let Janks go after that and played some audio clips to take a bit of a break.
George Takei said that it's nice that Howard got married and that they're trying to get the same rights for gays and lesbians. Sal the Stockbroker came in and told Howard to call him in six months when she stops sucking his dick. Gary didn't understand why he would get married after telling everyone not to get married. Artie said that this is a big surprise to him because Howard told him to please not get married. Ralph was also saying that he still doesn't believe that Howard actually did it. He doesn't know why he would mess up a good thing.
Gary said he remembers Howard saying that he didn't get his first marriage right so how could he get another one right. He just told that to David Letterman a couple of months ago.
Howard took some phone calls and let some fans give their thoughts on the whole thing. Jeff the Drunk called in and said that he believes it. Another caller said that he thought it was just a publicity stunt... Then Howard revealed that he's really not married. He said that he wanted to see the reaction around the room and that's why he said that he was married.
Howard told the guys that Richard Johnson of Page Six wrote an article about how he and Beth were married. There was a rumor going on about the marriage when they went on vacation down in Mexico. Howard decided to keep the rumor going until they went on air just to see what people would think. Howard said that he and Beth have no plans to get married because they're having a great time and he doesn't want to fuck it up... as Ralph said earlier.
Howard said that the room was shocked by his revelation when he said he was married. Now everyone knows the truth, he's not married.
Richard Christy came in and told the guys that it was his idea to have George Takei as their announcer. Ralph was trying to take credit for that but Richard corrected him and said it was his. He also told George that he's a big fan of his and has had a lot of fun with his audio book. Howard had Fred play some of those clips where Richard recut his audio clips to make it sound like he was saying other things. They also played Kidd Chris' great prank phone call to George where he pretended to be Ricardo Montalban. That's the call where we learned the name of George's dog ''Le Reine Blanche.''
George said that when he got that call he wasn't that surprised because he has gotten a call from Ricardo out of the blue before. Ralph wondered how he could believe that was really Ricardo though because it didn't sound a thing like him. George said it was early in the morning so it was hard to tell.
A caller told Howard that he was surprised that he didn't appear on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Howard told the guy that he was on the cover of a few magazines like Esquire, Us Weekly and a bunch of others but he did limit himself a little bit. It was getting very overwhelming so he passed on some stuff. He said it was getting so bad that he got sick and really had to take a vacation. The caller also pointed out that Stuttering John's absence was very noticeable in the final weeks of the show. Gary said they put the offer out to him and he wasn't able to come to New York and didn't want to call in. Howard mentioned that John's wife just had a baby boy a couple of weeks ago.
Howard was going to read the revelations himself. He saw that there were 11 total revelations and no one was going to know who they belonged to. The people participating in the Revelation are... Howard, Robin, Fred, Artie, Benjy, JD, Gary, Sal, Richard, Scott the Engineer and Jason. Here are the revelations...
Howard told the guys that they do have Press out there waiting for them. Howard said that he could play two songs to kill some time while they brought the press in. Howard said this would give them time to pee and do some other things. They couldn't get off the revelations though because they were all very interested in finding out which story belonged to which staff member.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was still hearing the heart beat from the start of the show. Howard told her she was probably on channel 101 and was hearing the West Coast feed. Howard played an audio clip of Tim Sabean trying to explain how they were going to run their schedule. After that the guys were still talking about the revelations because they were so fascinated by them. Gary said that the big buzz out in the hall was that Howard was the one who got Beth pregnant and had to have an abortion.
Howard had the guys pick a song to play while they get the press in there and take bathroom breaks. Artie came up with ''any Bruce (Springsteen) song.'' He said that the first song that Howard ever played on K-Rock was a Bruce Springsteen song so he told Fred to play that one. They played a ''No more Bullshit'' song parody and then the Bruce Springsteen song ''Prove it All Night.''
They finally got a working mic so George told Penny that she could ask one question. Penny was upset about the color of her Howard 100 News team jacket that was ugly yellow. Penny went on to ask Howard if he got a nose job. She thought it looked smaller. Howard denied it but said maybe that revelation was his. Penny was also saying that she knows that Howard is married and she will uncover that.
Howard moved on to Keith Olberman and wanted to play the clip from his show where he bashed Rush Limbaugh but he wasn't able to find it. He's still trying to get used to the new system they have there. He finally found it and played the clip... but it was the wrong one so Howard skipped it. Keith then went on to ask Howard if he worries that he may be followed by others like Rush Limbaugh who will charge for his show. Howard told Keith that this is a dream of all broadcasters who have no other place to do their show without censoring. He said that all broadcasters should embrace this technology and take some risks. He said that this will pave the way for other broadcasters. Keith told Howard that he was told years ago that no one would ever pay for TV but he's seen that's not true with his cable TV show.
George Takei introduced Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood. Howard said that she's a very hot chick and was on his show one time and got tickled in the tickle chair. He said it was one of the most erotic shows he's done. He asked her a few questions about whether or no she's had sex with Vin Diesel. Maria said she did not. Howard asked George Takei if he would like to have sex with him. George laughed and said he would love to. Maria then went on to tell Howard that she's excited about this new show and has SIRIUS installed all over her house. Maria had gifts for everyone but Penny interrupted and complained that she didn't have time. Maria then asked if his daughters would be part of this new venture of his. Howard said that he will have his family as part of the channels. The two older daughters, Emily and Debra, are both interested.
George Takei introduced the next reporter, Andrea Pyser, who asked Howard if he's excited about the new show. Howard said that he's very excited. Howard interrupted and asked George who he found to be the most attractive man in the room. George said it had to be Keith Olberman. Andrea then asked Howard what it's like to share a studio with Martha Stewart's daughter. Howard said they don't share any studio but they do work in the same building. They're all dedicated to getting this thing off the ground though. He talked about how great it is that he's part of this new technology and that people are willing to pay to hear all of this great content. Howard was selling the service to Andrea, telling her about all of the great content they have on SIRIUS with over 120 channels of music, talk and sports. He said there's something for everyone and he knows that it's the future.
George introduced AJ Callaway from Extra! He asked if Howard is messing with them about the marriage thing. Howard explained to him that he and Beth are having a great time and he's not going to screw it up by getting married. Both of them believe that marriage would not enhance the relationship. There was a question about Howard's daughter Emily recently backing out of a play in which she appeared semi-nude. Howard said that he did advise his daughter that it might not be the best play to appear in before she did it. She went ahead and did it and backed out a few weeks in. Howard said that she was betrayed by the director and backed out of the play because of that. She was willing to do the play but didn't want to be singled out. The director apparently used video of her on his web site and that's when she backed out. The director apparently told her that he ''forgot'' that they had an agreement. Then the director started making phone calls and bad mouthing him, even though he had nothing to do with it. His daughter handled everything herself and he's very proud of the way she handled it.
Gary told Howard they had a lot more people to get to. George then introduced the next reporter, AJ Hammer from CNN. AJ joked that they tallied up the fines that would have been levied against the show this morning and it would have been about $6.9 billion. AJ then asked him if he's found any freedoms there that he didn't expect. Howard talked about how great it is to be able to speak freely without the FCC interfering. That led to him bringing up Bubba the Love Sponge who was there in the studio. Bubba starts his new show on Howard 101 this afternoon at 4pm. Bubba said a few words before George introduced the next reporter.
Kim Dean from ''Inside Edition'' was up next. Howard said she was very hot and then let her ask some questions. She asked Howard how he's going to keep the show fresh if he can curse all he wants. Howard said he doesn't rely on the shock value of cursing. He said that their line is being funny, not being shocking. He said that if the F-word works into the discussion, then it's fine to throw it out there. Artie had already used it about a hundred times. Kim then asked Howard if he's married, engaged or what. Howard explained to her why he and Beth have no desire to get married. Things are just fine the way they are now.
Maria Menounos asked Howard if he's afraid of the FCC going after satellite radio. Howard said that it's ridiculous that they're even thinking about it because there is no legal justification for censoring satellite radio, a service people have to pay for. He said that if that happens, that means that books and magazines will be next. Howard said that cable channels like HBO and Showtime can show sex filled shows because people choose to pay for that stuff. That's the way satellite radio should be. He said if it does happen, it'll probably be 5 years down the road and he'll be done with radio by that time.
George introduced the next reporter Lisa Coligrossi who mentioned that she used to work for Liz Aiello who is now the Howard 100 News director. She asked Howard about the cost of satellite radio and if he's afraid of leaving some of the fans out in the cold. Howard said that the service is only $.43 a day so he thinks that people will eventually come on board. They go to a movie that costs them $9 per person and that's not nearly as much entertainment as a month's worth of satellite radio. He said that down the road people will buy a new car and maybe switch over to satellite radio went they see the service is available. There's something for everyone in the choice of 120 channels.
George introduced Lisa Cabrerra from WNYW who had a great rack according to Gary. She works for FOX 5 News... where Penny used to work. Penny said that she actually took her job and her tits were better than hers. Howard said that Penny is a great reporter and he can't wait to find out what she uncovers for Howard 100 News. Lisa went on to ask Howard about how he's dealing with the stress of this new venture. Howard said he did get stressed out when he was leaving the old station... but it wasn't because he was leaving, it was because he was thinking about the new channels. He said he went to Mexico and got over his stress but when he came back he had another strange thing on his body. He said his chin blew up with a lump on it. The doctors didn't know what it was so he figured it was just the stress. He thought about calming down and it was gone within a day. He said that he did some Transcendetal Meditation as he's been doing for most of his life and that calms him down. Lisa asked Howard if he's married or not. He told her once again that he's not married.
WNBC's Joe Avalar was up next. He and Howard talked about Sue Simmons who has been at NBC for many years. Howard figures that she's had a lot of work done on her face but Joe didn't have any comment on that. Joe asked Howard how big the commitment is for Howard 100 and Howard 101. He also wanted to know the difference between the two channels. Howard told Joe that he has a big staff for the two channels. He said that the channels will service his audience and they don't have to worry about pleasing 10 billion people, just his audience. They will have Howard 100 News, Super Fan Round Table, Gary's Post Show Wrap Up and many specialty shows. He talked about Meet the Shrink and what that's all about. They can have The Beetlejuice Show or some animated shows. Gary pointed out Crack Whore View so Howard talked about that show. Joe asked Howard just how big the staff is. Gary said that the Stern Show is about 25, In Demand it's probably another 20... and there are many, many more working on the channels.
George Takei introduced the next reporter, Lynn, and Howard said that she was very hot. Gary remembered seeing a picture of hear while back where she was almost nude. Gary said something about Lynn not being a very young woman which led to Penny getting upset that they were picking on her about her age. She's lost jobs over her age so she's very sensitive about that. Lynn went on to ask Howard about wether or not he's a nervous wreck while he's on the air. Howard said he is nervous about pleasuring his audience but he can control it. That led to Howard talking about how he and Beth use condoms when they have sex. Penny didn't believe that so Howard told her that if he was with her, he'd use a wet suit to be with her. Howard said that he comes quickly and the rubber helps him hold out longer. Lynn didn't believe it either. George Takei said that he and his man don't use rubbers either because they trust each other.
George introduced reporter Lisa from FOX News once again. She asked Howard about all of the money that he's rumored to be getting for this new job. Howard changed the subject and said that paying for this service gets you a lot of entertainment for $.43 a day. She asked him if he could have kept his show on regular radio just by tweaking it a little bit. Howard said that he could never have done that and he was never in this business for the money. He was ready to leave Infinity and that's when satellite came along and offered him a job. Lisa asked Howard what he would do if Beth asked him to marry her. Howard said he has discussed that with Beth and he would ask her why they need to be married. Everything is good and there is no reason to change what they have. He'd be afraid to ruin things.
George Takei introduced Giovanna from WWOR. Giovanna asked Howard to tell them something new that no one knows about him. Howard didn't think there was anything that he hasn't talked about. He told her that he got an erection when he saw her for the first time this morning.
George introduced Aaron Carlson from AP but he wasn't there, he'd left. Richard Huff from the New York Daily News was there so he got to ask Howard a question. Richard asked Howard about what he thinks losing all of those fans who aren't coming along to satellite. Howard said he's in a winning situation right now and there is nothing negative about his move to satellite. Richard also asked Howard who else could come along and do what he's doing. Howard said there are people succeeding on terrestrial radio, even Imus, who has few listeners, is somewhat ''successful.'' He doesn't get what that's all about. He said that Imus must be the most blessed man on the planet. He's just bland enough not to get fined by the FCC.
George opened up the floor to anyone else who wanted to question Howard. One reporter asked Howard what he will do in 5 years when his contract is up. Howard said that his channels will be built up over the next 5 years and they will live on after he leaves. He said if he's up to it, he may sign on to do more in 5 years, he's not sure.
Another reporter asked Howard what he spends his money on. He talked about his house, going out to eat at nice places and stuff like that. He doesn't really spend money on fancy cars or anything like that. He does have some nice TV equipment though. The woman also asked Howard if he's ever approached to do a show like Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he may do a parody of it for his Howard Stern On Demand channel but he would never appear on a show like that himself. He said that they can put any of the stuff on his channels up on Howard Stern On Demand or even on the internet. The two channels will be some of the biggest content providers out there eventually.
A reporter from Billboard Magazine asked Howard if he plans on broadcasting his show on the internet. Howard said they are in talks about doing that and he's pretty sure that will eventually happen. Another reporter asked Howard about the language on the radio show. Howard said that he has thought about keeping the cursing to a minimum so they don't make people numb to it. He said that if they keep saying it all the time, it's going to be too much so he's come up with his own limits.
Howard was asked by one of the AJs what his advice would be for David Lee Roth. Howard went through that discussion once again and told him what he would tell Dave about his show. He said that the station has to give Dave at least a year to 18 months to develop the show. He also cracked a joke about Dave getting a better hair piece which could help him out. He said he's never held back on his show from letting people tell him how they really feel and Dave doesn't seem to be doing that. Howard said you have to be brave enough to open up and speak freely about anything.
A reporter from an international newspaper asked Howard what he would find to be ''indecent'' if he doesn't think his show is indecent. Howard talked about how the government is lying to the people of this country and how he finds that to be indecent.
Steve Langford from Howard 100 News was asking a question that no one seemed to understand. Howard had to have him repeat the question. Steve was trying to point out that they aren't limited in how they report their news. They may not just cover Howard Stern news, they may cover other news. Howard said they have been in discussions about that but there isn't much chance of them becoming a major news source. They will have two newscasts each day though. One at noon and one at six in the evening.
One guy asked Howard why Robin is in the booth. Howard told him that Robin has to prepare her news so she's got her own work area. She also stays out of the discussions they have during breaks so she's can be the fresh outlook on the on-air discussions.
A reporter who showed up late asked Howard if there will ever be peace in the Middle East. Howard said that will probably never happen. George Takei wrapped up the press conference after that and Howard went to a music break so he could shake everyone's hands goodbye.
Howard had George announce the new phone number 888-9-ASSHOLE and then took a call from Double A. Double A said few words about the new show and then Howard cut him off and took a call from Bobo. Bobo thanked Howard for letting him be part of that final show rally.
Howard said that the movie King Kong didn't do as well as expected during the time they were off. He said that when a huge gorilla picks up a blonde woman, he wonders why something like that would happen. Artie said something and his microphone was still not quite right so Howard said they have to work on that and make it right. Robin said that the whole premise of the King Kong story is out of whack. There was no reason for the woman to fall in love with King Kong either.
Artie tried to say some more stuff but his mic sound was so screwy that it sounded like he was yelling through a window to talk. Howard said that King Kong could be a racial movie and you could use the analogy that King Kong is a big black guy who falls for a white woman and the white people bring the black guy to New York to kill him.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked Howard for the show and told him that the whole SIRIUS experience has been great and it's a great value.
Howard mentioned that he did an interview with USA Today that's out now. He also mentioned that Martin Bashir interviewed him for ABC's Nightline but only played about 7 minutes of the interview. He said that he's in talks with Bashir to air the whole thing on his show because it was so good.
Howard repeated all of the revelations that they revealed earlier in the show.
Howard took a call from another guy who said that he's been listening to SIRIUS for 5 years now and welcomed him to the service. A woman called in after that and said that she bought the service back in October and has been enjoying it since then. Howard took a few more phone calls from fans who were all congratulating him on his move.
One caller asked Howard what the replay times were going to be for his show because he works early in the morning and goes to bed at 9pm. Howard told the guy that they repeat the show on a 3 hour delay in the morning and then it will be rerun at 9pm at night. He said that if you have an S50 tuner, you can download it and listen to it anytime.
Robin told Howard that she was able to pull up this week's top 5 songs for Howard. She gave him each song and then Howard would pull it from his music library and play a short clip. Here's the list as Robin read it to Howard:
Ralph said he didn't get why Howard hired Bubba at first but now he understands it and he likes the guy. Robin wondered what Ronnie the Limo Driver's problem is with Bubba because he's gone off on him recently. Ronnie came in and said that Bubba should have been to the final show instead of sitting home and listening from his hotel room. Bubba's producer Brent came in and Ronnie went off on him. Brent doesn't know what's going on with him, they get along with everyone else on the show, just not Ronnie.
Ronnie said that they don't appreciate them and Bubba shouldn't have come on the Super Fan Round Table show that he was part of a couple of weeks ago. Brent and Ronnie argued for a short time and Brent asked what Ronnie could do if someone really came in there to cause problems. Brent confirmed that it was Alicia Class who Bubba ate out on the air one time.
Bubba showed up a short time later to talk about his studio. Howard said that everyone is getting along except for Ronnie. Ronnie believes that Bubba started all of this but Bubba said that it's Ronnie who started it. He said that Ronnie was really cool to him when he first met him. Then Ronnie found out he's good friends with Tony Stewart and that's when things went bad. They really got into it one night on the Super Fan Round Table show when Ralph was using his studio down in Tampa to do his part of the show. Ronnie went off on Bubba that night even though Ralph asked him to say hello. Ronnie told him to go do his own show instead of getting in on the Round Table show.
Bubba said that he doesn't care about the round table show, he's got his own show. He also claims that Ronnie wanted an autograph from Tony and he got really upset when he didn't get it for him. Ronnie claims that Bubba is lying about that and he never asked for an autograph. Ronnie admitted that he did get upset when he learned that he had missed Tony's visit to Scores though.
Howard cut the guys off and had George do another announcement about the show. Bubba then told Howard that he's no sure he's going to have his guy Ned returning to his show and he may have to have Howard talk to him to get him back. Artie didn't know who Ned was so Howard explained that he's a guy who does prank calls and other stuff for the show. Howard wanted to play a clip of one of Ned's calls but they weren't able to find it.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about Howard Stern On Demand for a few minutes. Both Bubba and Brent said that it's awesome. Ronnie and Bubba were back to arguing a short time later. Howard took a call from a guy who said he's sick of Ronnie whining. The conversation changed when the guys started talking about the crazy stuff Bubba has done on his show and he mentioned that he takes Viagra. He's had a ''Chub-Off'' on his show where he had a couple of chicks on the show to give them oral to get them excited.
Bubba was also telling Howard that he shaves his pubic area. That led to Howard asking Bubba to shave his balls on the air so they can put that on his Howard Stern On Demand show. Howard asked George Takei if he prefers his man to be shaved or not. George said that his boyfriend does not shave his area and he doesn't seem to mind that. Richard Christy came in and said that he shaves his balls as well and even shaves his anal area. Howard said he wants Bubba to come in and demonstrate this. Bubba said that Hulk Hogan was the guy who actually introduced this process to him. George Takei will be the judge of the best shaved balls once that happens. Richard said that he's very confident in his size and that he's about 7 1/2 inches when hard. Robin saw his penis one time and said it wasn't all that big. Richard said he was soft that day though.
Bubba said that he shaves his balls about twice a week. His girlfriend shaves down completely so she's bald down there. Howard wanted to have Bubba and Richard have a shave off where the loser would have to shave the other guy's asshole. The guys were all over the place with their discussions about shaving their ball hair. Bubba said that down in Florida it gets really hot so shaving the hair helps.
Ronnie suggested that they hook Bubba up with Tabitha Stevens show she can bleach his asshole. Bubba said that he's actually had Tabitha but she was too skinny for him. He's been with a bunch of chicks like that and had a lot of groupies over the years... until he got his current girlfriend.
Howard finally got the Ned prank call that he was looking for earlier in the show. Bubba had his guy Ned talk to David Lee Roth one time that he didn't want to do an interview with him. Ned was very disrespectful to Dave and goofed on his career and his crazy ramblings. Dave stuck with him through the phone call and didn't seem to know that Ned was goofing on him.
Tabitha Stevens was on the phone after the break. She claims that she never had sex with Bubba. Bubba claims that she and another woman had a thing but Tabitha said that never happened. Tabitha said that she knows Bubba and she really never did have him. She said she would admit it if she did it but that never happened. Bubba claims that he remembers putting his penis inside of her. She said it may have been her sister and not her. Bubba wasn't sure at that point. Tabitha said that Bubba may have a problem if he doesn't know where his penis is going.
Howard said he may have Tabitha Stevens in to take a lie detector test one day this week. He let Bubba and Brent go after that and wished him luck with his new show that starts airing today at 4pm on Howard 101.
Fred was having some problems with his board this morning. He said he's realizing the limitations of the board and of himself. He wasn't able to get the music going first thing so Howard pointed that out. Howard then had George Takei, the new announcer for the show, do his intro for the show. Takei introduced Artie Lange, Fred Norris, Benjamin Bronk, Robin Ophelia Quivers... Howard said he thinks that she's the one whose revelation was the one about being fondled in the hospital. He let Takei get back to his intro.
After introducing Howard, George and Howard spent a few minutes talking about his big day yesterday. Takei says that he was doing press all afternoon. He was on CNN and did a bunch of interviews there at SIRIUS. Howard noticed that Artie was having problems with his microphone again today. Artie said that George had asked him ''How long have you been living this madness?'' when he came in this morning.
Howard told Fred that when they take breaks during the show today, he's got to have music to play. They will have 6 commercials per hour today and that's it.
Howard said that everyone was telling him that George Takei was a great addition to the show. He had a clip from CNN where George was interviewed so he played that for everyone. The interviewer asked to be introduced by George so he did that for AJ Hammer and now it's kind of funny how everyone wants George to be an announcer. In the interview George told AJ about his experiences on the show yesterday and how crazy things were. Takei told AJ about how he got the job. He pronounced Gary's last name as ''Dell'Abante'' instead of ''Dell'Abate'' so Howard said that he likes the new one better.
Gary pointed out that George had said that when he got the call from him, his ''loins girded.'' The guys had some fun with that as George was laughing with his unmistakable laugh. AJ asked George why he came out of the closet at such an advanced age. Howard and George talked about that for a short time. George told Howard that he came out because of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold vetoed the same sex marriage bill and that got George's dander up. That's when he decided to come out of the closet.
As Howard was listening to George, he saw that Artie had his head down reading the paper. He said he's never really seen what Artie does in the morning and that's apparently what he does. Howard decided to stop playing the clip from CNN and told everyone that George will be live in the studio all week with them. He'd like to have him live each week but George lives out on the West Coast. They may set him up with an ISDN line so they can have him live each day.
Howard said the strangest review was by a religious site that listed all of the curse words that were said on the show yesterday. He said that they listened all of the curse words from the show and how many times they were used. They don't list the full word, just F**k and stuff like that. The F-word was apparently used 77 times during the show. He read through the list that came from FamilyMediaGuide.com.
Howard read some other notes about the show. They seemed to know a lot about the show from their detailed descriptions. They even list the sound effects and what they're supposed to be representing. Robin said that if those people can listen to the show, write down everything that they hear and not have anything happen to them then there's nothing wrong with listening.
Howard said that Gary invited some people down to the press conference and the Amsterdam News people slammed down their phone when they got the call. Gary said it was actually Dan Clores' office that called them. George said that he knows some people over there and maybe he should have called instead.
Howard brought up the movie ''Brokeback Mountain'' during the discussion and said that Vinnie Favale asked him if they wanted to go see the movie with a group of like 10 Scores girls so it wouldn't be so gay. Howard seemed to think that was a good idea.
Howard asked George Takei what he would have said to the woman he knows at the Amsterdam News if he had called. Howard pretended to be the woman George knows and tried to create the conversation that would have happened if George had called. George said that the woman he knows doesn't speak the way Howard was speaking.
Howard read a list of press that were invited to the press conference yesterday that turned it down. There were people like the Parents Television Council, Afro Times and Al Jazeera that decided not to come down.
Howard talked about how he had to get out of there yesterday after the show. He had just done 5 and a half hours of show but everyone from SIRIUS was there to take his picture. He just wanted to get out and decompress. He got out of there and did some TM meditation before stopping in on the Post Show Wrap Up that aired after the radio show. That will be going on every day after the show.
Howard said that it's crazy how he's got these two channels going and he can just stop in and talk to the guys whenever he wants. Gary came in and told Howard what they discussed on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Gary also brought up how there are a lot of people who think that he's the one who pleasured himself with meat and vegetables from the Revelation list that they read yesterday.
Howard said that some people are thinking that Gary is the one who cheated on his wife. Howard thinks that Gary won't be faithful for the rest of his marriage but he's not the one who has already cheated. That led to the guys trying to figure out whose story was whose. Here's the list of revelations:
Howard said that Bubba laid out all of his stuff and thought he sounded really relaxed. Ralph stopped in on the show and Bubba was saying that maybe he and Howard could swap air shifts once in a while. Howard said that he liked it best when Bubba just talked instead of going to bits and stuff. He said he's tuning in for the second day after hearing that show.
Robin said that she didn't hear anything after about 2:00 yesterday because she was so wiped out. Howard said that he had to choose between Howard 100 News and Bubba's show. Now he's thinking that maybe they should air Bubba on Howard 100 but he thought better of it and figures it's good to give people a choice. He wasn't even sure what the exact time was for Bubba's show. He thought it was 3-7 but Artie said he thought it was 4-8.
Program Director Tim Sabean came in and told Howard that Bubba is on from 4-7 because of the way they have the schedule set up on Howard 101 for the West Coast. He's actually on from 1-5pm Pacific time. They run the Howard 100 News from 12-1 Pacific time so Bubba comes on later. Tim said that they had to have a bit of a compromise with the times and that's where Bubba's show fit in.
The caller said that he thinks that Howard should be streaming his show on the web for his fans so they can listen at work. Howard said that they're working on that but he wants to have it available through his web site and through the SIRIUS web site. He's not sure what's taking so long to work things out. He's pretty sure they'll have that worked out sometime.
Howard wondered whose idea it was to bring Scott along to SIRIUS. He said that if he had left him behind at K-Rock, Scott would have been fired by Tom Chiusano. Scott said that Tom always hated him and he's not sure why. Howard wondered which revelation was Scott's since he's part of that whole thing.
Howard said that Sal the Stockbroker is on the PDT (the scroll on SIRIUS tuners) writing up some stuff for people to read. He saw that Sal was writing up some goofy trivia and thought it might be better to have an announcement about who is in the studio or something like that.
Richard Christy came in and said that he gave Robin an oral sex book for Christmas. Robin said she threw it away. Howard said that all of Sal's Christmas gifts were horrible this year. He said he got him a John Lennon book that he already had and the book was crap anyway. He also got a history of comic books book that he didn't want. He doesn't like to read that kind of stuff. Richard Christy got him a nice journal to write in and that's the kind of stuff he likes. Sal said he also got Howard a King Kong book and he's not into King Kong.
Howard talked about the analogy he mentioned yesterday about the King Kong story and how it could be considered a racist movie. He said that King Kong could be looked at as the racist white person's black man who kidnaps a blonde haired white woman. He talked about how the whole premise of the movie is off because King Kong is this huge ape who goes after a tiny white woman. He wants to F-her but she's way to small for him and there's no way he could even use a finger on her.
Howard talked to 'Arnold' about his motorcycle accident and Arnold went off on the Mexicans and how they're all illegal out there. He said they're always too busy eating burritos and making babies to drive correctly. He said the woman who pulled out in front of him was a Mexican woman.
Howard asked George Takei to talk about his feelings about Arnold. Takei didn't know that it was a phony Arnold and went off on him about the Same Sex Marriage bill and how upset he is about that being vetoed. Howard let George go on and on about the bill. Fake Arnold said that George must be ''one of those gays'' who takes it up the backside. George said he didn't want to discuss that. Then Arnold said that a couple should have a penis and a vagina, not two penises.
Howard asked 'Arnold' about why he vetoed the bill so 'Arnold' said that he just didn't have a pen that day. George couldn't believe that Arnold was going to treat his run in office this way. Arnold told him that he's just trying to have some fun. 'Arnold' said that he's got no problem with gays and actually enjoyed ''Brokeback Mountain.'' George said that Arnold has been flip-flopping on a lot of issues and this is just like him.
'Arnold' made a joke about how Asians can't drive very well, just like the Mexicans. George couldn't believe that he was making jokes like that. Howard kept the joke going and had 'Arnold' busting George's balls. Arnold said that he will pass the same sex marriage bill if it comes through again. He also said that he's going to pass a bill that doesn't allow Mexican women or Asians to drive in California. Arnold said that he's so high on Vikodin right now that he'd take a massage from him right now. He also said that he'd take a reach-around if George wanted to give him one.
George said that he does respect Arnold's career. Howard put through some phone calls for 'Arnold' and one guy said he can't believe the way the guy is joking about the gays. George says that he's going to hold Arnold to what he said about signing that same sex marriage bill. Howard wrapped up with Arnold a short time later and George said that he thinks that they've made history here. He still had no idea that it was a fake Arnold. Arnold was about to go when he mentioned that he's going to pass that bill that will stop Asians and Mexican women from driving.
Howard told Arnold that George was stuck in an internment camp back in World War II but Arnold responded with a ''Shit happens'' statement. Howard got some laughs out of that. He let 'Arnold' go a short time later.
George thanked Howard for making that happen today and Howard continued to keep the joke going. He told George to tell everyone he spoke to the Governor himself and he's going to hold him to the claim that he's going to pass that same sex marriage bill.
Howard came back after some commercials and talked about ''Dancing with the Stars'' but that was also a commercial. He said he's been watching the new season of the show and he's enjoying it as he did last season. He and Robin spent some time talking about how wacky some of the stars are on the show. Howard figured that George Takei would be great on that show and maybe he should join.
Howard said that Lisa Renna's lips look like labia hanging from her face. He said she looks like a burn victim whose labia were transplanted from her vagina to her face. Howard reenacted the conversation that may have gone on between Lisa and her doctor about transplanting the lips.
Howard was cursing a bit more than he did yesterday and said that he's thrown out his no-cursing rule. He said he was listening to Bubba cursing yesterday and figured it's fine to do since they are on satellite now. He got back to the discussion about ''Dancing with the Stars'' and said that it airs on Thursday night's at 8 o'clock.
JD told Howard that Courtney sent him a message through his MySpace account. She said that she looked him up on there and eventually hooked up with him. Howard said there must be something wrong with this chick. He asked her how much she weighed and how tall she was. She's 132 pounds and only 5'2'' tall. Howard thought she must be chubby but JD said she's really not.
She gave out her MySPace account which is at www.myspace.com/lvcourtney. Howard checked out the picture and said she wasn't all that bad. She had big breasts and claims that they're real. JD is apparently calling her his girlfriend now. Gary said that she was at the final day party and she was there with Dennis Hoff from the Bunny Ranch.
Howard found out that Courtney used to have her own adult web site and she used to do sex shows on a web cam. Gary said she must be one of those women who does what you type to her on camera. JD said he knew that she used to do that stuff and he was fine with it. She now sells insurance so she doesn't want to give out her old web site address.
Dennis from the Bunny Ranch called in and told Howard that he's known Courtney for a long time and she's a great lover. Courtney said that she did sleep with Dennis but JD didn't know about that. Courtney said she's never worked there at the Bunny Ranch and she's never done anything like that. Dennis told Howard that JD is a very lucky man to have been with Courtney. He said that she's very bright, fun and loves to have a good time. He thought that it was great that this guy had such a great woman as his first.
Howard asked Courtney who was more fun to be with, Dennis or JD. She said they were different and wouldn't commit to either one. Howard said that Dennis is going to have a show on his channel called ''Confessions From the Bunny Ranch.'' Dennis said that they're getting some great stuff for the show out there.
Howard got back to JD and Courtney and asked JD what he thinks about her sleeping with Dennis. JD said he was going to have to think about that. Richard Christy came in and asked her if JD was big or not. She said that he was fine and his rubber stayed on when he put it on. Richard also asked how long he lasted with her. Courtney said that he lasted quite a long time... maybe five minutes. JD said that he didn't rub one out before doing it with her either.
Howard asked George if he has ever rubbed one out before being with a man so he can lst longer. George said ''Uh, yes'' in that unique George Takei way. He said it's more pleasurable when you do that. Howard welcomed everyone to Howard 100 after that and talked about how great this was.
Howard asked Courtney if JD was able to give her an orgasm. She said she really doesn't get there without a plug in the wall. She eventually admitted that Dennis was better than JD in bed but Dennis has a lot more experience. Howard asked her if she was turned off by the way he speaks. Courtney said she thought that he was very cool and treated her very well.
Howard asked JD what she was wearing when he invited her to his apartment. He wasn't able to tell a story so Howard got irritated with him and gave up on trying to find out what she was wearing. Gary said that he was looking at Courtney's MySpace account and saw that the people she'd most like to meet were Jimmy Fallon and Artie Lange. He wondered if she banged JD because she wanted to get to Artie. She claims that's not what she was doing. Richard said that she seemed to be really into JD and told him that she really wanted to bang this guy the day she was hanging out with him.
Fred played some more Napoleon Dynamite audio clips over a love song. Gary said that he heard that JD's apartment is a mess. JD said that no one from the show has ever been up there to see it so no one would know. Howard asked Courtney how drunk she got before doing it with JD. She said she had a few cocktails before that but she wasn't completely drunk. JD said he had one Jack and Coke before so he wasn't wasted either.
Howard asked Courtney and JD how this all went down. They described what went on in detail. Courtney said she took her top off after changing clothes at his apartment. Then she went over and kissed him while she was topless. The guys asked him if he sucked on her and if she tasted like Dennis Hoff. Courtney said she went over and got on top of him. As they were discussing all of this George Takei was laughing his ass of thinking about how romantic this was.
Richard Christy was asking some very personal questions about what was going on so Artie was goofing on him by doing his impression of him and making up some questions that he might ask. JD was claiming that he had fingered this chick but Courtney said she didn't remember that. Howard said that this is big for JD because he lost his virginity to her.
Courtney said that she used to do phone sex for her web site but she hasn't done that with JD. Artie joked that JD would probably put the phone up his ass thinking that meant that it was phone sex. Artie had George Takei laughing his ass off at those jokes. Howard told Artie he's going to get lucky with George if he keeps that up. George said he was exhausted from laughing so much.
JD said that his Dad knows about the loss of his virginity but he's not sure if his mother knows yet. Artie joked that when his dad found out he said ''You f'd Courtney too?'' Howard didn't want to make a mockery out of this whole thing so he stopped the joking around. He got back to the discussion about JD and Courtney's sex date.
Howard asked JD if he practiced putting on condoms before doing it with Courtney. He said he did and he got the condoms from a box they had at K-Rock when they were still there. He said they were some Durex condoms that they were giving out for free.
Courtney was talking to someone there so Howard asked her who it was. Courtney said that it was her friend that's on her MySpace page. Jessica Hahn called in a short time later and said that she knows Courtney and she's a very nice person. Howard ended up asking Jessica about the hate she was giving them a few weeks back on Howard 100 News. She said that she was just jealous about some stuff. She loves Howard.
Howard said that he wants Sal off the PDT (scroll on SIRIUS) because he was calling Courtney a ''ho.'' He told Sal to stop it and play it straight. He wants him to keep the ''ho'' comments off of there. Sal told Howard to calm down, he just added that ho comment after playing it straight earlier.
Howard found out that Courtney had gotten on top of JD and did him that way. He wanted JD to describe how it felt for the first time but JD wasn't sure because he had the condom on. Howard said that shouldn't have mattered for his first time.
Howard asked JD more about how it went and he seemed to have a good time but it was kind of hard to tell because he wasn't able to express himself very well. He did go down on her at some point. He said she smelled fine to him. Howard asked JD what he did with the condom. JD said that he just threw it off to the side when he was done. Richard asked him if he's changed his sheets since then. JD said he hasn't. Courtney was kind of upset about this because it was going so bad. Howard told her she'll forget all about it in a few months.
JD said that he and Courtney did it that night and then the next morning. Courtney said that he got behind her that morning and really hit it hard. He didn't last all that long that time. JD said that any position is a good position for him. He tossed that condom on the condom heap that he started the night before. Richard asked him if he was able to enter her himself or if Courtney had to guide him in. Courtney said she's pretty sure she helped guide him in. Howard wondered if Courtney and JD thought about anal. Courtney said ''Absolutely not.'' Howard wondered if Dennis Hoff did anal with her. She said that didn't happen with him either.
JD told Howard that he walked Courtney back to her hotel after that and really didn't just want to get rid of her like Howard thought. The guys asked JD when he'll be entering her again. Neither of them were sure but JD is still calling her his girlfriend. Courtney said that she doesn't have a lot of friends and it sounds like she's really not looking at this like a relationship. All of the guys were goofing on JD making fun of the way he speaks.
Howard said that Beth got an e-mail from JD where he basically told her that he'd gotten laid. He was going to bring that in so he could read it since JD couldn't remember what it said. Howard congratulated JD on his conquest and welcomed Courtney into the family. Robin said that JD was supposed to lose his virginity there in the studio, not at home. Howard said that he screwed them over by doing it at home instead of there.
Richard said that JD has been asking him if he's doing any shows out in Vegas so he can go along to see this chick. Courtney asked Howard if he's going to be coming out there anytime soon. Howard said that maybe JD will. Courtney claims that she hasn't done any other guys since she was with J. She's not looking for any plugs either so that should tell us something about the relationship. Howard let her go and did a commercial break.
Howard asked George if he knows how old Shatner is. George is 68 and he's pretty sure that Shatner is 8 years older than him. Howard found that hard to believe and thought that Leonard was the oldest of the crew. George and Howard spent a few minutes talking about Shatner and the way they don't get along very well. George says that Leonard Nimoy is a good guy and gets along with him. He even came and visited him when he did the Equis Broadway play recently.
Howard had George read another announcement about the show since that's his job now. Howard told George that it's an honor to have him there this week. George said that it's great to be there and it was a history making day with Arnold Scwarzenegger calling in. Howard then broke the news to George that it wasn't really Arnold, it was a fake Arnold who called in. George got a laugh out of that and said he was kind of wondering about that. He didn't even believe that it was really a phony until Howard mentioned it once again. He thought Howard was pulling his leg about him being a phony. George told Howard that he has destroyed a beautiful thing by telling him that it was a phony.
Gary came in and gave Howard a copy of JD's e-mail to Beth. Beth sent it along to him and it appears that JD writes the same way he speaks. Howard read the part where JD tells BEth about his weekend with Courtney but he doesn't actually come out and say that he got laid. Howard said that he wants to take out an ad in the NY Post where he posts a note saying that JD got laid.
Howard talked to Bubba about the first show he did yesterday on Howard 101. He said the show was good and he's looking forward to today's show. Bubba said that he was hoping that Artie would stop by the show. Artie doesn't even know where they broadcast from. Bubba is also looking for Robin and Fred to stop in. Brent said that he's a big fan of Fred's and would love to have him on the show.
Bubba and Brent told Howard about some of the news reports that were done about him yesterday and how great they all were. That led to Howard playing some of the audio clips from the news reports. One report had two guys who usually argue with each other talking about how they both went out and bought SIRIUS radios just so they could hear Howard Stern. Howard said that most of the press he saw yesterday was positive and they never get that much positive press.
Howard told Bubba about how good he felt about his show yesterday. He said it's come down to the point where he has to decide between listening to his show or to Howard 100 News. He loves both shows but he can't decide on which one he wants to listen to. He thinks that the S50 tuner is the future of the service because people can record shows like Bubba's and listen to them later.
Bubba said that he heard that Howard got over 400,000 calls yesterday. Howard hadn't heard that so Will came in and told him that was true and their phone system actually shut down because of that. Howard told Bubba that he believes that he should get a raise after hearing his show yesterday. Bubba said that he's happy to have a job there and he's looking forward to coming up with some new shows for the people and building a library.
Howard said that he's glad he got out of his last job because they were really treating him like crap over there. Bubba and Howard spent some time talking about the way both of them have gone into markets to bring a station from like 15th place up to first. Now they're doing the same thing with SIRIUS and they both seem to think that they'll be able to make it number 1.
Howard said that there are many other radio guys who are looking to come over to the new place to get out of the terrestrial radio business. He's going to keep people with the same type of humor on his channels.
Howard played another audio clip from Keith Olberman's report about his first show. Olberman did a nice report about the first show. After that Howard and Bubba talked about how the FCC will probably start filing NALs (Notice of Apparent Liability) because it's an election year. They're holding off right now but they will come out about 90 days before the election so they can show how they're going to be against indecency. Howard said Bubba was talking about that on his show yesterday and found that it as astute of him to bring that up. Bubba was also going off on President Bush on his show so they spent a short time discussing that.
Howard played more of the Keith Olberman audio and then took a call from Ralph. Ralph said that he enjoyed Bubba's show yesterday but he'd rather hear Bubba and his guys talking and not playing so many bits. Bubba said they were a little nervous yesterday so he actually had to take a Xanax before the show. Bubba told Artie that he's got some more if he needs it.
Howard said that Bubba's show airs at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific on Howard 101. There is no rerun of that show yet but Howard said he's going to make that happen. Bubba was also saying that Ralph has been treating them very well and he appreciates that. George Takei was also saying that he likes Bubba because he's got a lot to say, plus, he shaves his balls. Howard was going to take a break after that. He got in a few plugs for the many shows they have on Howard 100 new including The Wrap Up Show with Gary Dell'Abate and Jon Hein right after the radio show. Then there's the Howard 100 News at noon and 6pm. Howard said they'll also have some audio from an interview that he did with USA Today journalist Peter Johnson. Howard said the guy was nice enough to let him roll tape during that interview so they can play it.
Howard got sidetracked and ended up talking about the revelations they read on the show yesterday. They were talking about who they think belongs to each story. Bubba asked Howard if he's going to do a Vegas show this year. Howard said that if they do, they're all going together. Howard said he would do the first four hours and then Bubba could do another four hour show.
Bubba asked if he could dress Robin one day because he'd like to see her in some very feminine clothes. That got Howard talking to George Takei about his gay life and if he's ever gotten dressed in women's clothes. George laughed and said that doesn't happen.
Howard took a break and did a live commercial for GoldenPalace.com. He then went to a regular commercial break.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked Howard for turning him on to ''Smallville'' because he really likes it. They spent a short time talking about that TV show and then the guy told Howard that he's sounding much better on the mic now that they've straightened things out. He said that Artie still doesn't sound right though. Howard liked the guy so much that he was going to offer him the chance to come into the studio for a visit. The caller was nearby on Long Island but Howard was hoping to have someone from Montana or some place like that. Gary told him that it's fine to have someone from Long Island come in.
Howard interrupted the bit and said that he wanted to get to the point where George got into it with fake Arnold. He gave up on playing it because he wanted to get to the news. He asked the guys to pull a clip of George and 'Arnold' going at it so he could play it.
Howard took a break around 10:10am. They played some commercials and played some music to kill some time. After the break Howard did another live commercial and then took a call from Vinnie Favale from CBS. Vinnie was telling Howard that he's unable to get the show while he's on the bus because there's no antenna access for his SIRIUS radio. He told Howard that when his show is available on the web, he'll be able to pull in the show from the web on his cell phone. Howard wasn't aware of that and said he's got to get that going.
Vinnie asked Howard when his radio show is going to start airing on Howard Stern On Demand. Howard said that it doesn't really start until like March or something like that. Doug Goodstein from In Demand came in and told Howard that there will be a delay until they can get the satellite shows on the air. That won't happen until March 16th... and there will be a 30 hour turn around time. They will tape the show, edit it and upload it to the Howard Stern On Demand servers for people to see within 30 hours.
Howard let Vinnie go and had Robin get back to her news. A short time later Howard took a call from a guy who said he was listening in South Dakota. The guy was looking to come in to visit the studio. Howard decided to invite him in to visit the studio. Another guy called in and said he lives in Montana and would also love to come in to visit the studio. Howard put him on the list as well. The Montana caller said he had never heard the show before but he had heard of Howard Stern. Howard asked the guy how he became a subscriber and how long he's been listening. The caller said he's been a subscriber for about a year and just started listening to Howard 100 News about a month ago.
Howard asked him some questions to find out how helpful the Howard 100 News has been for getting to know the rest of the members of the show. The caller said it's been very helpful. The guy said he started hearing about Howard on the radio and that's when he became aware of the show. Howard told the guy he's going to fly him in and let him visit the new studio.
Another caller told Howard that he's got to give George Takei his own show. He also said that he heard that Dick Clark is the runner up for that job. Howard had played a short clip of Dick doing his New Year's Eve show and he's not sounding too good since suffering from a stroke. Howard went to a commercial break shortly after that.
Howard came back from break and took a phone call from a guy in Los Angeles who said it was great to hear the show live and uncut without 20 minutes of commercials like they used to play on KLSX. Howard also quickly mentioned that you can find the Fake Arnold on MySpace.com. Howard wrapped up the show around 10:45am. He played a Joe Rogan comedy bit that they used to play on old fashioned radio. This time it was uncensored.
Howard started off the show trying to figure out if his mic was too loud. He welcomed everyone to his third day there at SIRIUS and then talked about how Bubba the Love Sponge was complaining about the name of the station he's on. It's a very simple Howard One Hundred One and he's apparently got a problem with that. He said that Bubba was complaining that he's like a new version of Pig Vomit (from the Private Parts movie).
Howard had George Takei introduce the show since he's the new announcer for the show. George introduced each of the crew as the members of Star Trek. That led to Howard talking to George about the actors who played the Klingons on the show and how they probably didn't get paid much since they were playing just quick parts. Howard was also telling George that he's had a great time with him there this week. Artie and Robin said that they're going to miss him when he leaves at the end of the week. He'll still be the announcer but won't be live in the studio after this week.
Howard said he was up early this morning watching The Bachelor and some other shows. He's liking The Bachelor this season but he's liking another show even more. He talked about how he was so excited last night that he just couldn't sleep. Everyone on the show is liking their new jobs so much that they don't want to leave or can't sleep.
George was telling the guys how he walks around the streets of New York and has people saying ''Oh my!'' to him all the time. He can't get away from it. He told them about going to see the play ''Casanova'' and how great that was. Artie heard that and said that after hearing the review of that show and The Bachelor, he's going to get the fuck out of there.
Howard got back to his TV show discussions and brought up this guy Jeff Conaway who used to be on ''Taxi'' many years ago. He walked off that show and never made it as a star. Now he's on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club and he's giving Danny Bonaduce a run for his money for having the best show on TV. Howard talked about that for a minute and then brought up Dancing With the Stars and some of the nuts on that show. He's talked about that for the past couple of days and how Lisa Renna's lips look like labia on her face.
Artie said he's been watching Danny Bonaduce's show lately and it's great to him. He said that the rants the guy goes on are great. Howard said it might be funny to have George Takei read some of those rants in his voice. Howard ended up asking George if he ever saw William Shatner banging all of the hot chicks on the show back when they did Star Trek together. George never saw that stuff so he didn't have any dirt on the guy.
Howard had some clips from Celebrity Fit Club where Jeff Conaway loses it and starts yelling. Jeff yelled at the other celebrities on the show and the guy who weighs them all in. Jeff was throwing his shoes at people and freaking out when the drill sergeant told him to sit his fat ass down. He claims that he slit his wrists at the age of 3, a pedophile at the age of 7 and rambled off a few other things he's done. Artie did his ''Wahhhh'' thing when he heard that. Howard said he was thinking of that when he heard this guy freaking out for the first time.
Jeff Conaway was yelling about his career and all of the great things he's done... like Taxi. He claims he's got a couple of movies coming out but no one knows what they are. Howard interrupted that to talk about how he thinks that Don Imus is ''fucking nuts'' after reading an article about him in Vanity Fair.
Howard and the guys were talking to George about how good he looks at the age of 68 so Artie cracked a joke about how ''that jizz does wonders'' which got George laughing his ass off. He also responded by saying ''You should try it!'' The two of them are like the new Odd Couple. They play off of each other great.
Howard asked George if he's had any famous men in his love live. George said that he has had some men who are famous to him. Howard asked him if those men were closeted. George said that they probably would be considered in the closet. He didn't want to talk about those people though.
George and Artie were joking about becoming a new couple. George made it seem like he was kind of interested in Artie and laugh with his unmistakable laugh as he was talking about that.
Howard said that he had a list of people who wanted to talk to him calling in from all over the country. He took a call from a guy who was out in Kansas but had heard the show out in Sacramento. He said he kept track of the show through SternFanNetwork.com and MarksFriggin... Thank you... Howard said it was great that fans all over the country can hear him now.
Robin asked Howard who they have on the PDT (SIRIUS tuner scroll). Gary said that they have Will Murray watching over an intern who is writing up a very simple scroll saying what they're talking about. Howard talked about how people, for the most part, hated the stuff that Sal was writing on the scroll yesterday.
Howard took a call from a guy out in Oklahoma who said that he's never heard the show until yesterday. He said that he was about ''as happy as a dog with two peters'' after hearing the show yesterday. Howard said that it was a good show and he'd be replaying some of the George Takei and Fake Arnold stuff. George said that he challenges Howard to get the real Arnold to call in to talk to him. Howard said that's funny because they may just make that happen today. He had to take a quick break after that.
Howard detailed exactly what he wanted from Fred. Fred thought that he was going to create too many breaks and it would screw things up. He said that Howard has 3 live commercials to do in this hour. Howard said he's going to do one live commercial, let Fred play the pre-records, then some music and if he has another live one, he'll do it after the music. He wanted to know if Fred was following or not. Fred said that he did but he was still agitated and complained that the breaks were going to be confusing.
Howard told Fred that they can do things differently there because they're not on a network anymore. He wants to think in a new direction. Fred was being very stubborn and said that he's got people on his ass to get things done a certain way but he will do it if Howard wants. Howard said that he was getting aggravated by Fred and Fred was getting aggravated by Howard. Howard told Fred that he was wasting a lot of time for him and for the five people listening to the show.
Howard demanded that Fred play a music bed so he could do his Heineken commercial. Fred did that for him and Howard did the commercial. After that he told Fred to just do things the exact same way he did things at K-Rock. Fred tried to play a song but there were two things playing at once. More technical problems... Then Howard complained that he hadn't heard the bumper that Fred played coming back to the show because he hadn't heard it yet.
Howard asked 'Arnold' about why he vetoed the bill so 'Arnold' said that he just didn't have a pen that day. George couldn't believe that Arnold was going to treat his run in office this way. Arnold told him that he's just trying to have some fun. 'Arnold' said that he's got no problem with gays and actually enjoyed ''Brokeback Mountain.'' George said that Arnold has been flip-flopping on a lot of issues and this is just like him.
'Arnold' made a joke about how Asians can't drive very well, just like the Mexicans. George couldn't believe that he was making jokes like that. Howard kept the joke going and had 'Arnold' busting George's balls. Arnold said that he will pass the same sex marriage bill if it comes through again. He also said that he's going to pass a bill that doesn't allow Mexican women or Asians to drive in California. Arnold said that he's so high on Vikodin right now that he'd take a massage from him right now. He also said that he'd take a reach-around if George wanted to give him one.
George said that he does respect Arnold's career. Howard put through some phone calls for 'Arnold' and one guy said he can't believe the way the guy is joking about the gays. George says that he's going to hold Arnold to what he said about signing that same sex marriage bill. Howard wrapped up with Arnold a short time later and George said that he thinks that they've made history here. He still had no idea that it was a fake Arnold. Arnold was about to go when he mentioned that he's going to pass that bill that will stop Asians and Mexican women from driving.
Howard told Arnold that George was stuck in an internment camp back in World War II but Arnold responded with a ''Shit happens'' statement. Howard got some laughs out of that. He let 'Arnold' go a short time later.
George thanked Howard for making that happen today and Howard continued to keep the joke going. He told George to tell everyone he spoke to the Governor himself and he's going to hold him to the claim that he's going to pass that same sex marriage bill.
There was a phone caller during the segment that is probably feeling just as dumb as George is today. That caller thought that it was the real Arnold as well. George said that the caller was great though because he was defending gay people when he called in to complain about what Fake Arnold was saying.
Howard said he thought George would know it was the fake Arnold when he said he was going to go smoke some weed. That didn't get his attention. Howard said his favorite line was when the Fake Arnold learned that George had been in an internment camp and Arnold responded by saying ''Shit happens... Listen, I'm Austrian, I don't give a shit...'' George was laughing his ass off when he heard that and wondered what's wrong with himself. He couldn't believe that he didn't catch that it wasn't the real Arnold. Howard told George that this may be the best thing he's ever done on radio. George was still laughing his ass off after Howard was done with the replay. He was having a lot of fun in there with them.
Howard took a call from a guy in Idaho who said he's been listening to SIRIUS for over a year now and he loves it. Another caller said that he's a truck driver and can pick up the show in all 48 states without losing the signal and he loves it. The only problem he has is going through tunnels but that only lasts a few seconds.
George said that the humiliation he has to take to be on that show is amazing. He was still laughing about the prank they pulled on him yesterday.
Howard took another phone call from a guy on the West Coast who said that the show is so much better without the rules and regulations that he has to get up and listen live. Robin said she's had a lot of feedback from people and they're really liking all of the programming they have now. Howard had to take another break after that so he let Fred do his thing. Fred was very upset with himself for not getting everything right because he didn't play a jingle before playing the music bed. Howard told him that he just needs to calm down and not take it so seriously.
During the commercial Artie was typing away on his computer. That's something he never does so it was distracting Howard. Artie told him he was trying to pull up some porno. Howard said they might need to get that thing away from him because it's going to be another distraction.
Howard moved on and said that he got an e-mail from this guy up in Canada who is trying to get his show put on up there on the SIRIUS service. Right now the Canadian version of SIRIUS does not carry Howard's channels. Howard said he doesn't understand what the problem is because it's a pay service and people have to choose to buy the service.
Howard had this guy Joseph on the phone. Joseph said that he's got a letter ready to go to the president of SIRIUS Canada trying to get the show on up there. There are also people buying grey market radios from the United States and Joseph said that people could eventually get arrested for doing such a thing up there. George said that it's very odd because up in Canada they have the Same Sex Marriage law and they seem to be very liberal.
Joseph said that you can sign his petition by going through either SaidMaterial.com or SophisticatedHokum.com. He was also talking about the reasons he thinks that they're not putting the show on up there. It could have to do with the possibility that radio stations will be losing money up there or that the CRTC might start going after SIRIUS Canada. Howard thanked Joseph for his call and let him go a short time later.
Howard read some news articles about his move to satellite. Stores are selling a lot of SIRIUS radios and a lot of stores are sold out right now. He said it's great news to him since he really didn't know what to expect when they moved there. Things are working out pretty well so far.
Howard mentioned that some of the guys there are asking for business cards and he's not sure why. Artie thought it was just for chicks. Richard Christy came in and said that it would be nice to have a card to hand out when people ask how to send in stuff for the show. Howard asked how often that happens and Richard said it's not all that often.
Howard's man purse is full of new, smaller man purses. He said that he's been carrying around smaller things within these smaller bags. He carries around mints and toothpicks in one case and he's thought about getting a business card case just because they look so cool. George told Howard that he seems to be ''one of us'' now. Howard told him that the difference between them is that semen isn't in his diet. That led to Richard asking George if a man who eats fruits tastes better than one who doesn't. George said that's absolutely true. Howard asked him if he'd suck Richard off to see if he could tell what he ate last night. George laughed.
Howard and the guys talked about the man goo thing and how each man has a different taste. George said that every man has a different chemical reaction depending on what they eat. Howard wanted to get off of that subject and on to other things.
Howard said that he doesn't think Fred was the one who had someone fondling him in the hospital even though he did pass out at Scores that time after getting really drunk.
Howard said he had to take another break so he had George do another announcement. They went into break after that.
Howard went on to play some more F, Marry, Kill games with George Takei. The next list was bands like...
Robin mentioned that she just got a news story about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It said that they're expecting a child this summer. That led to Howard talking about their relationship and how he feels bad for the adopted kids that Angelina has. He feels bad for all adopted kids because the parents can never really love those kids as if they were their own.
Howard thinks that Brad and Angelina will pay more attention to their biological child once it's born and the adopted kids will be left behind. He predicts that the adopted kids will become servants at their house.
Howard said that Eli also wrote ''Cabin Fever'' that Robin really liked. Now he's made this movie ''Hoste