- Vacation Replay Show - Day 5. 03/22/19. 7:00am
Howard is off this week for another vacation. They're replaying segments from the past few years while he's off. Here's what they played on today's show:
- Bachelorette Vocal Fry - July 17, 2018. 03/22/19. 7:00am
First on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about vocal fry on The Bachelorette. Here's my rundown from that day:
Who Is America, The Bachelorette And More. 07/17/18. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking about how someone asked him the other day how people know when he's live and when it's a repeat. He said that was his daughter. He said he had to look into it because it's none of his business. He said the idea is to trick the audience and make them think they're there for 24 hours.
Howard said he went to bed last night early. He wanted to see the Sacha Baron Cohen new show. He said it's not often he gets excited about a show unless it's The Bachelorette. He said he also like Fauda. He said he's a Jewish James Bond. Robin said she can't get into that. Howard said it's really good. He said he just loves people killing each other. Robin said he has a screw loose. Howard said Death Wish was good. Robin said she liked the new one with Bruce Willis. Howard said he'd probably like it too. He told Gary to send him a note to watch that.
Howard said he came into work this morning and it's such a great set up. He said that no radio station is set up like this. He said he loves this place. He said they don't stand in his way at all. He said the just want to facilitate him in any way they can to make good radio. Howard said they think he seems to know what he's doing so they help. He said god bless this company. He said they have provided them with 4 hours where they can broadcast and have guests. He said anyone who says a bad thing about this company he will never speak to. He said he will put the leg of a chair up their ass. He said Sacha talks about that.
Howard said there are 7 episodes that Sacha has put together. He said they move really fast. He said he does a great job playing these 4 characters. He said it's like Candid Camera meets something. Robin said it's Candid Camera meets The Imposter. Howard said he'll go with that.
Howard said the show is great. He said god bless him. Robin said he plays all of these great characters and he has great makeup artists. Howard said he's such a funny guy. He said equally funny is The Bachelorette. Howard said there are two people who have only been on two dates and they're falling in love. He said this guy is in love. Robin said none of these people get married. Howard said they actually do. He said there are a couple who have gotten married.
Howard said this guy was sitting there and asked the Bachelorette ''What if we have kids or something like that'' and the woman says ''he'd be a hot dad.'' Howard asked what kind of guy says ''What if we have kids or something like that?'' He said his wife said he was a lot hotter before he opened his mouth. Howard said this woman just answers saying he'd be a hot dad. He said this is why we're doomed. He said we have morons in this country.
Howard said the country is doomed. Robin said she's seen Howard in action like that. Howard said he was in a strip club and he was dizzy.
Howard said this vocal fry thing is out of control. He said there's a guy on the Bachelorette who has it. He said the Bachelorette doesn't have it usually unless she's talking to this guy who has it. Howard played a clip from the show where they were both doing the vocal fry thing.
Howard said just listen to this fucking guy. He said he's slowly becoming an Iguana. He said in the next scene they were feeding each other flies. He said when a guy talks like that you have to wonder what's wrong with him. He said he breaks into that vocal fry and he gets into this normal voice. Howard asked who talks like that.
Howard said this is why he's into the Bachelorette. He said he has to observe people. He said this is his window into humanity. Robin laughed. Howard said lets listen some more. He played more of the vocal fry clip. The two of them sounded like frogs.
Howard said what an idiot. He said he sounds like the lead singer in Lamb of God. He played some of that guy singing. Howard said he was laughing so hard last night. He said Brent was into Lamb of God. He said he was thinking that he said he's taking lessons to learn to sing like that. He said everyone has lost their mind. He said Brent said he wants to learn how to sing like that. He played more of that Lamb of God singing.
Howard asked Brent what he's paying to learn to sing like that. Brent said he has a DVD. He said it's called The Zen of Screaming. He said he's just learning how to do it without blowing your vocal chords out. Howard asked what he's going to do with that. Brent said you can do vocal tricks on radio with that. He said he's just learning how to do it. He said he'd bring in the DVD.
Howard asked Brent if he really listens to his music. Brent said he has been listening to them exclusively for a while now. Howard played a bunch of clips and asked what he's even saying in that. Brent said he would know it if he knew which song he was singing. Howard asked Brent if he really wants to do that. Brent said it would be awesome.
Howard asked Brent to demonstrate. Brent tried singing but it hurt his throat so it didn't go more than a second or two. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he has the guy from The Bachelorette on the phone. He took the call from one of the guys in the back who was doing the impression. Howard said he can't even do it good. Howard said it's different. The guy tried something different and it sounded closer.
Howard played more of the vocal fry guy from The Bachelorette. He got some laughs out of that. He was doing his vocal fry impression along with it.
Howard said no wonder he turned into a frog. His mother was fucking the English teacher. Howard said this guy needs oil like the Tin Man. He said you put some oil in there and he stops talking like a frog. Howard said he can barely follow his story. He said it's a really good story but he can't follow it.
Howard said he'd have a better story if his dad fucked his male gym teacher. He played more of the vocal fry and said it sounds like he comes up for air. He said it's interesting. Howard asked how she could marry a guy like that. Robin said she can't.
Howard said she starts getting it because of him. He played more of the audio and goofed on it. He made up his own story about swallowing a frog and it had a family of frogs in his throat. He told the story about his mom fucking his English teacher. Howard said it was hard to empathize with him when he was talking like that. Robin said she's got to choose him just so they can see him with her family.
Howard said Beth was kind enough to give him sex last night so he was dopey and sleepy. He said she's so pretty and beautiful and loving. Robin said he's repeating himself. Howard said he doesn't have enough good things to say about his wife. He said that's for anyone who is willing to give him sex. He said that she's such a beautiful, lovely, pretty woman.
Howard said he always checks with Beth to make sure she's really into it. He asked if she's okay. He said he asks her to blink if she's ill. He said that he's surprised that she doesn't dry heave.
Howard played more of the vocal fry stuff. He asked if he should replay it. He said he wants to hear the story again. He said he wants to hear about the mom fucking his English teacher. He said it's two-for-Tuesday. Howard replayed the clip so he could hear the story again. He kept cutting it off to do his vocal fry impression though.
Howard said that's a heavy story to have vocal fry through. He said it's like talking about the holocaust with the vocal fry. He did his impression of the guy with the vocal fry and made up more stories. Howard asked if the guy is possessed. He said he'd call in an exorcist. Robin asked if he's in Lamb of God.
Howard played more of the story clip and kept goofing on the guy. He made up stories about his dad being raped by a bear and other things.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks about this. Fred said he's not sure. He did it in his vocal fry voice. He said that he might be trying to empathize with the women. He said he's really not sure. Howard, Fred and Robin were all doing their vocal fry voices.
Howard said it's odd that the guy's English teacher was his gym teacher. He said that's odd itself. He said he always thought that if his parents got a divorce that his dad would stop yelling at him. Robin said imagine he had to be with his dad alone at his own house. Howard said maybe it is better that they stayed together.
Howard went into his mother's voice and talked about being in love with Mr. Roush his English teacher. He had her talking about how he started parting the hairs on her pussy. Howard said he'd be telling Robin that story with vocal fry.
Howard played more of The Bachelorette audio. He said that guy is as good as the guy from Lamb of God. He said humanity is fascinating. Robin said it is. Howard said it's good that he's there to point it out.
Howard said his mom wouldn't even know the name of his English teacher. He said that they knew nothing about him. Howard said his mom didn't even know his English teacher. He did more of her voice and had her talking about the teacher fucking her hard and how he did cream pie her. He said he did the alphabet on her pussy.
Howard said he doesn't remember any teacher names but Mr. Roush. He said they interviewed him in the paper once and the guy said he remembers him. He said no he didn't. Howard said imagine your English teacher fucked your mom. He said that's why this guy talks like that.
Howard said he's pretty sure that if he spoke like that he never would have gotten Beth. He went into his mom's voice again talking about what Mr. Roush did to her sexually. Howard said maybe fucking the teacher wasn't such a good idea. He said people are nuts. He said he has to finish that episode from last night. He said he has to find out what happens.
Howard had his mom telling him she had sex with the teacher and how she blew him while he was grading papers. She said that he put a box of number 2 pencils in her twat.
JD said Howard should see this guy's mom. He said he just fast forwarded to that point. Howard said he has to watch that tonight. JD said he won't spoil it for him.
Howard said none of his teachers liked him or had any interest in him. He did more of his mom talking about fucking his teacher.
Howard said he fell asleep in the middle of The Bachelorette. He said he was very drained from having sex. Robin said she's happy for him. Howard said he did have to get that clip pulled for Robin though. Robin said you wonder how many teachers that woman went through before this. Howard did more of the guy with his vocal fry.
Howard said the Bachelor's mom worked at the school. He said that explains it. Howard said back when he was in school the music teacher married one of his teachers. Robin said she remembers a teacher getting married in her school. Howard said he thinks that this guy's name was Mr. Thermos or something. Robin said there was an English teacher and science teacher that got married. Howard said he wondered how they afforded kids. He said he'd watch on the news how they were underpaid. He said the two together couldn't afford to buy a house. Howard said he doest know one guy who talks like that.
Gary's Throat Clearing Tick. 07/17/18. 7:40am
Howard said when he walked in this morning Gary was coming out of the bathroom. He said he hear him clearing his throat. He said he must start doing it as soon as he sees him. He said he has vocal phlegm. He said he heard another clearing while he was walking down the hall. He said Gary is on medicine to stop this but it's not working. Howard asked Gary if he's aware that he did that. Gary said he was not.
Howard said he might have a tick. Gary said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he wants him to buy a spittoon. Gary said that would be gross. He said nothing really comes up. Howard said as soon as he walked in he was doing it. Gary said it starts in the morning and it starts long before he sees Howard. Howard said just stop doing it. He said don't clear your throat anymore. He said it's becoming a tick. Gary said he'll just stop doing it. Howard said he's turning it into a shtick loch. He said his mom would say he's making menace. He said he's not even sure what that means.
Howard asked Ronnie if he heard that this morning. Ronnie came in and said that he heard it. He said he's so used to it though. He said it's constant. Howard said he heard it again when they turned the corner. Howard asked if he does it during the show. Ronnie said he does and every time he walks through the door he does it. He said Gary used to have this wrist shaking thing he used to do. He said he would also adjust his dick and balls. Robin said the monkey is not wearing underwear.
Howard said he pulls at it. Gary said he does wear underwear. Gary said the watch tick is gone because he used to have a loose watch. He said it would get stuck on his hand. He said that he had to shake it. Howard said he tugs at his shirt a lot too. Gary said he odes. Howard asked what's up with the balls and dick. Gary said he's not itchy. He said he's not even aware of that.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has ever heard a dude doing that vocal fry thing. Ronnie said he never has. He said he has heard women do it though. Howard let Ronnie go after that. Fred did his Ronnie impression after he left. Robin said it's like Ronnie has studied Gary.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he heard the uncut Medicated Pete tape. Howard said he fucked up and missed it. He said he saw that it was on after it aired. He said he wanted to be there with everyone else listening. The caller said he spent 10 hours listening to the thing over and over. Howard said they ran an abbreviated version on the show and then turned it into a special. He said it's available on demand on the app. Howard said they have a lot more coming down the pipeline with the app stuff.
The caller asked if Gary and Mary have listened to the tape together. Howard said he's not sure what he's driving at. The caller said something about Pete referring to something in the tape. Howard let him go.
Howard said Gary was going wild this morning with the throat clearing. He did his impression of Gary and played a song parody with Gary's throat clearing. They went to break after that.
- Wacky Preachers / Brent & Bubba Update / Ronnie's Rally Race - June 26, 2018. 03/22/19. 7:50am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played audio of wacky preachers and more. Here's my rundown from that day:
Religious Assholes & A Brent And Bubba Update. 06/26/18. 8:50am
Howard said by the third hour of the show he's sick of everything. (He had taken a call from caller I no longer write up here.) Howard was upset by the awful caller.
Howard said he wants to be on Lexapro like Jason is. Jason said that stuff saved his life. Howard said he's afraid that it'll take away his mojo. He said he might get into feeling good and he'll fuck the whole show up. Jason said he tried to quit the stuff cold turkey and it was horrible. He said that he thanks his bottle every night when he takes it.
Howard said Brent thinks that he should take magic mushrooms. He asked if Brent and Bubba ever talked. He said he wants to share some other stuff after that. He said that Brent and Bubba talked last week and Bubba was upset with him for going all New York City on him. Brent said that's the worst thing you can call someone down there. Howard said they don't know anything about what's going on down there.
Howard said he's listening to this preacher talking about how the Jews are the devil and how they get all of these advantages. He said he's just thinking that he never had any advantages. Howard said this asshole can't get anything going in his life so he's playing the Hitler card. He wasn't going to play this but he did bring it up. Howard said this Baptist Preacher Adam Fannin was going off on the Jews and Sarah Silverman. He played some of the audio of that guy going off on the Jews and talking about the advantages they've been given. Howard said they think they run the world and it's kind of unoriginal to come up with this shit.
Howard played more of the clip and Fannin was blaming the Jews for the Baptists going down in flames. He brought up Sarah Silverman and said she's a witch. Howard said this guy is a low life, scumbag, piece of shit.
Howard said Jim Bakker was back talking about how silver can cure STDs. He said he has a product to cure STDs. Brent asked why this isn't fraud. Howard said he's not sure. He had some audio to play. Howard said they were on his web site and he has like 10 million products. He said they have one for 10 grand that gets you through the apocalypse.
Howard played a clip of Jim Baker talking about how this product gets rid of all venereal diseases. His co-host was making claims about it getting rid of HPV too. She said it's a fantastic hand sanitizer too. Howard said how about using a rubber. Howard said they don't talk about that. He asked how this goes on TV making claims like that. Robin said he must make some kind of disclaimer.
Howard said that he did correct himself instead of saying ''cures'' he said ''heals.'' Howard played more of the clip of Bakker talking about this silver stuff and the magical powers it has.
Howard said he's not sure who they are but the last place he'd go for medical advice is Jim Bakker. He said at least he's not preaching against the Jews like that other guy.
Howard played a clip of a preacher talking about how the Jews and other religions don't have the right to free speech. The guy said they were only dealing with Christianity and those rights were just for Christianity. Jason said that is just not accurate. He said they went out of their way to make rights for everyone.
Howard asked Brent what went on with Bubba. Brent said everything is fine between them. Howard said he got a lot of email about that so that's why he brought that up. Howard read some of the mail that he got about the Bubba call last week.
Howard said that someone said that Ronnie was more loyal to Bubba than he is to him. He read that email and the guy pointed out how Ronnie was more protective of Bubba than Howard. Howard said he doesn't think that Ronnie likes Brent. Brent agreed. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with Ronnie. He said that he's more loyal to Bubba than him. He said he never hears that he's his friend.
Ronnie came in and said that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Howard said he feels like Bubba has something on him or something. Ronnie said he feels bad or Bubba. He said Howard doesn't get a raw deal like Bubba did. Ronnie said he's just friends with Bubba. Howard said he seems to jump all over him. Ronnie said he jumped all over Brent. He said that Brent thinks he hates him. He said he doesn't hate anyone. Howard said he does hate a lot of people. Ronnie said he might dislike people but not Brent.
Howard asked if Ronnie thinks he's standing in his way of becoming a big star. Ronnie said no. He said he doesn't even talk to Bubba that much. Robin said he did seem to support that ''A Little More Ronnie And Less Hatley.'' Ronnie said that was funny.
Howard said Ronnie is on the same team as Brent. Ronnie said he takes notes on him all the time. He said he never looks at him in the face either. He said he's constantly looking at the floor. He said he doesn't look anyone in the face. Brent said he might have to talk to someone. He said he does that to avoid conversations. He said he's on his way to do something. He said he has limited time to do things. Ronnie said he could put his head up. Howard said Ronnie thinks it's a personality disorder.
Howard said that he walks around with his head down when he's leaving there. He wants to avoid seeing people too. Ronnie said Howard is famous though. He said Brent isn't.
Gary said that someone was floating the idea that Ronnie likes Bubba because he likes wild Ronnie and Howard doesn't like wild Ronnie. Ronnie said he's just Bubba's friend. Howard said he was selling ''Lets fuck some whores'' t-shirts for him. Ronnie said he was selling them and he got a cut. He said it wasn't his idea. He said it was Bubba's idea. Brent said he came up with the phrase. Fred played the clip of Ronnie saying that. Howard said he had that clip on his show though. He said he's not sure why it was on Bubba's show.
Howard said Ronnie thinks that Brent has a personality disorder. Ronnie said he's not allowed to say anything.
Howard read more email about Ronnie defending Bubba and not standing up for the Stern Show guys. Ronnie said he's not allowed to do anything there. Ronnie said he heard Brent's side of the story from someone else. They all knew it was Bubba. Ronnie said he can state his opinion there. Brent said it would be nice if he had the facts. Ronnie said he came in and said one thing. Brent said that Bubba is Ronnie's buddy and he'll never say anything bad about him. He said that he's the best to Bubba. He said he doesn't treat Ronnie like that. He said sometimes he loves him and sometimes they have disagreement. Ronnie said he's fine with that.
Ronnie Drives In A Rally With Goldberg. 06/26/18. 9:30am
Howard said Ronnie wants to be a star so bad. He said he was out doing a Kurt Busch promotion this weekend. Ronnie said that he was driving his car. Howard said that he learned about Ronnie how. Ronnie said the show but they became good friends. Gary said he heard he was wearing a whole NASCAR outfit on TV. Ronnie said he was with Goldberg as his co-driver. He said he likes driving a race car. He said that's what he was doing. He said it was the Gold Rush Rally. Howard said Ronnie likes being a celebrity. Ronnie said he does. Howard told him to remember who brought that to him. Ronnie said he does.
Howard saw Ronnie in the race car driver outfit. It was a Monster Energy outfit. Howard said that's a promotion. Ronnie said that it's a charity event. He said that's his sponsor.
Shuli came in and said that he has some information. He said on the fin of the car it says ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock.'' He said that's his catch phrase. Ronnie said he had nothing to do with that. He said that the guy who wrapped the car did that. Shuli said he also spoke to Bill Goldberg about this. He said he's a big fan of the show and he was honored to be driving with Ronnie. He said one of the guys saw them there and it looked like a guy taking his dad out for one last drive. Ronnie said Goldberg wasn't wearing the suit. He said they couldn't find one that fits him.
Howard said he'd just like to get Ronnie to stop arguing with people out in the hall. Howard said he's always in conflict with someone. Shuli said you just say good morning to him and you have a problem. He said after this he's going to be Ronald and not interacting with anyone out there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie is a complete fool. He said they're a team and he has to carry Brent to the finish line if he falls. Brent said he would do that for Ronnie because he's a team player. Ronnie said he is a team player but he's not on Brent's team. Howard said Brent is on the team so he is on his team. The caller said Ronnie doesn't understand common sense.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie doesn't understand nuance when they talk to him. Ronnie said he doesn't. Howard asked if he knows what it means. Ronnie said he has no idea and he isn't going to answer.
Howard said Brent and Bubba are in a good space. Brent said they are. Howard said he and Bubba worked it out on the phone. Brent said that they're fine. He said he gets that Bubba is super stressed right now. Shuli said that Ronnie is starting to shut down now. Ronnie said he's not. Howard played a song parody about Ronnie.
Howard said as long as he's going through the email everyone seems to think that Bobo is lying about the vacuum cleaner thing. Brent said that everyone on the Wrap Up Show was saying that too. He said he's never seen a central vacuum before. He said down in the south they didn't have that. Ronnie explained it to him. He said there's one central unit in the house and there are outlets in each room. He said that one of the smaller attachments might fit in there. He said that the whole tube might fit if he lubed it up. Robin said that she's glad they found out about the Brent and Bubba thing.
Brent said that Ronnie listened to Bubba raking him over the coals. He said that's what upset him. Ronnie said that's what Bubba sent to him. Brent said that maybe after 5 minutes he would have turned it off. Shuli said that Brent is very sensitive about stuff. He said that he's seen him drop friends after years. Brent said that he shook hands with that guy over the weekend. He said it was Jon Leiberman. Shuli said that Brent said that Jon was dead to him after he agreed with Ronnie on something once. Shuli sad that Brent moans at his desk. Brent said he'll talk to himself and not say them out loud. Howard said he has tape of that. He played a clip of Brent moaning at his desk.
Howard said he was going to hang with Brent but not after that. He said that sounds like a good conversation.
Howard thanked Ronnie for coming in too. He wished him luck with his race car. Brent asked if the sponsor paid Ronnie for wearing that outfit. Ronnie said no. He said he did it for a friend. They asked if he would have done the whole rally. Ronnie said he would have. He said he did the rally from Boston. He said he started out there and went to Connecticut to New York City. Howard asked if he doesn't drive enough. Ronnie said it was so much fun. He said he doesn't want to say how fast he went. He said he may have broken the law. Howard asked what happens if he gets into an accident. Ronnie said you can do that driving on the street there. Howard said imagine how stupid you'd sound if you got into an accident and had to explain it.
Brent asked if he was in the race suit driving down the road. Ronnie said he was. He said they weren't doing anything dangerous. He said they're racing 40 other cars. Brent asked if he got over 100 on the highway. Ronnie said he's not going to say. He said they weren't racing. He said it's a rally. He said it's who can get from place to place first. Howard said this should be against the law. Howard said he doesn't want to be on the road with these assholes.
Howard asked if they talk to each other. Ronnie said they do. He said they drove for like 2 and a half hours and then stopped at the Barrett Jackson auction for a few hours. Howard asked why he would do that. He asked if Goldberg is the guy with Tourettes. The guys said that's Golddust.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has fun driving him around. Ronnie said he does. Howard said he goes flying when he hits the brake in that car.
Ronnie said they got stopped by the police but not for speeding. He said they drove all the way from Boston to the Whitestone Bridge without getting stopped. He said in Boston they had a license plate on the car and they hid it up there. He said that they covered the plate in Boston and they didn't take the cover off when they left. He said they drove all the way down and got to the bridge and got pulled over. Howard said congratulations to the New York police for doing that.
Gary asked if Ronnie got up to 140 miles per hour during that race. Ronnie said no. Brent said he did that with no license plate. Ronnie said it was on the car. He said it was covered. Ronnie said the cop let them go because he understood a mistake was made. Howard said he bets his name was mentioned. Ronnie said not at all. Ronnie said he walked to the back of the car and pulled the sticker plate off. He said the cop gave him a warning and that was that.
The guys were making fun of Ronnie for wearing the suit when he got out of the car. Howard asked why Shuli didn't cover this. Shuli said he tried but Ronnie told him there was no room in the car. Howard said he could have followed him. Ronnie said he doesn't think so.
Howard asked Ronnie how long it took to get to the auction. Ronnie said it was like 2 hours. He said that Goldberg drove from there to New York. He said he was navigating for him. He said they spent a few hours at the auction. He said there were like 40 cars in the event. He said they were probably 8th or 9th. Ronnie said he kind of fucked up at one point. He said they came to a road where it split and it was hard to tell which was the road and which was the exit. He said he blew it. He said they went the wrong way.
Howard said this is a dangerous kind of event. Ronnie said it's not. He said it's not about killing people. Howard said it's dangerous if you're racing to get somewhere. Ronnie said it's not a race for money. He said that everyone on the road is above the speed limit. Howard said he doesn't like this. Howard asked what if he had lost his license and he couldn't drive.
Shuli asked if they had music in the car at all or was it just talking. Howard said imagine being stuck with Ronnie like that. Shuli said he has done that. Howard asked if Goldberg had a suit on. Ronnie said no because they didn't have one to fit him.
Howard asked if Ronnie wore a helmet. Ronnie said no. He said no helmet. Shuli asked why have all of the other stuff but not a helmet. Ronnie didn't have an answer for that. Ronnie said it was a blast.
Howard said he has to get over to Ronnie's house to see all of this stuff he has. Ronnie said he's going to hang that suit in a big frame. He said he's going to hang his driving shoes on the wall too. Howard said Ronnie drives like a maniac in the limo. He said imagine him in a race. Shuli said every car he drives is like a race car.
Howard said yesterday Ronnie got cut off and he was driving around the car to see the driver. Ronnie said that guy cut them off and he had to speed up to see who he was. Howard said he could have killed him. Howard asked if it was a man or a woman. Ronnie said he saw it was a dude. He said he just kept going. Howard said when he sped up to see the guy he went flying in the car. He said you have to see this guy. Robin said he must have gone above the speed limit to see the guy. Ronnie said Robin drives around like a race car driver too.
Howard said you had to see this yesterday. He said he was flying around the car. He said he felt like Princess Diana. Shuli said he avoided an accident but then sped up to see the guy who cut them off which put him back in danger.
Howard said he doesn't like that these guys are racing on the street. Ronnie said it's a rally, not a race. Howard said it's based on who gets there first. Howard said Ronnie is crazy too. He said he was texting his kids goodbye. Ronnie said bullshit. Shuli said he was in the car with Ronnie down in Florida and he was yelling at this woman out on the street to move.
Shuli asked if Ronnie thinks he's an aggressive driver. Ronnie said you have to be in New York. Howard did his Ronnie impression and goofed on him about being with Goldberg in that car. Howard said Goldberg doesn't even know who he is. Ronnie said he does. Shuli said that guy is a fan of the show.
Howard said this whole thing is a set up for disaster. He said that he's all fired up in that costume. Howard said after he made that wrong turn he must have had to make up some time. Ronnie said he did what he had to do to get on the highway. Howard said he bets he flew. Ronnie said there was traffic. Howard said he bets he was in the left lane the whole time. Ronnie said not the whole time. Howard said imagine you're driving along and you see this guy in a race outfit and it's Ronnie. Howard said what a dumb fucking idea that rally thing is. Ronnie said he thinks Chess is a stupid fucking idea. Howard said that next to locking up children at the border this is the second dumbest idea.
Shuli asked how fast Ronnie has gone on the road in his life. Ronnie said at 3 in the morning in Pennsylvania he went 145-150. He said he was driving to Ohio.
Howard said Ronnie must have loved that costume. Ronnie said it was very hot. He said Stephanie thought it was kind of cool. Howard said he's livid about the whole thing.
Shuli said he has to wear that thing to work tomorrow. Howard said he'd do it for Bubba so do it for him. Ronnie said he wouldn't do that. Shuli asked if it's under his suit now. Ronnie said it's not.
Ralph was on the phone saying that he should wear a limo driver outfit. Howard said he should have him do that.
Howard said he would never wear an outfit like that just because he's a fan of someone. He said that Imus used to dress like a cowboy. Ronnie said everyone driving that car from there to California is wearing that suit.
Howard said he has to wear that outfit to work. Ronnie said he's not going to wear it. He said they're laughing at him now so why would he do that. Howard said it's funny that men are racing from coast to coast and wasting fuel doing it.
Howard asked if Ronnie had a radar detector in the car. Ronnie said no, it's a race car. Howard asked what the cop did when he saw him in that suit. Ronnie didn't answer. Fred played the Superman theme song.
Howard asked Ronnie to please bring in the outfit. Ronnie said he'll bring it in but not wear it. Shuli said he won't wear that suit but he'll put anything they ask him to shove up his ass.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he would do if he lost his license. Howard said if you're caught driving 40 over the limit you can lose your license. Ronnie said that you can't drive over the limit in New York. He said he wasn't speeding anywhere.
Shuli asked what the navigation sounds like in the car. Ronnie said he'll just tell him that the traffic is going to be shit so turn here and things like that.
Howard said he has Goldberg on the phone. He took the call from fake Goldberg who didn't sound anything like him. He said he almost got thrown out of the car with Ronnie driving the way he did. Howard let him go after a short time.
Howard asked if anyone was impressed with Ronnie even though he didn't ask them to be. Ronnie said he wasn't asking anyone to be impressed. Ronnie said he's going out to Vegas on Friday. He said that his friend is flying him out there first class. He said he and Stephanie are going out and staying until after July 4th. He said the race is over on Sunday afternoon. He said that he won't be wearing his suit. He said he won't be driving. He said the guys driving the car will be wearing them.
Howard said he feels impressed by all of this. He said he's impressed like Robin is. Ronnie didn't ask them to be. Howard said Robin was impressed before he was. Fred played the ''Bad Boys'' theme song. Howard asked Fred if he's impressed. Fred was doing his Ronnie impression and talking about Goldberg and stuff like that.
Howard said that poor Goldberg had to sit in a car with Ronnie. Ronnie said things are going great for him. He said he had a show called Bull Run on one of those channels. He said he works for Dodge doing promotion for them. He said he has a big car collection.
Shuli asked who is better looking, Jason Statham or Goldberg. Ronnie said Statham is. Howard asked who he likes better, Bubba, Goldberg or Kurt Busch. Ronnie said he spent more time with Bubba. He said that he knows Bubba better. He said he just met Goldberg this weekend. Howard asked if Kurt is his best friend. Ronnie said he's a good friend.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing Ronnie's number 1 fan. The guy was racing on the streets and crashed. The had sound effects to go along with that.
Howard said if he wanted to be punished for something he'd be stuck in a car with Ronnie from Boston to New York. Ronnie said that car is so cool. He said it's a 2018 Ford GT. He said it's a $600,000 car. He said he had the biggest boner when he got in the car. He said he had never been in a car like that before. He said he drove a NASCAR on the track. He said he went 170 on the track.
Brent asked if they had safety harnesses. Ronnie said it was regular seat belts. Shuli said he doesn't wear them all the time. Ronnie said he does too.
Howard asked if he likes getting pegged or the race car better. Ronnie said the race car. Howard asked if he likes J-Lo or the most expensive race car. Ronnie said he would take the car from Boston to Vegas over getting a BJ from J-Lo.
Ronnie said he has no idea how much of an honor it was that he was asked to do this. He said that it was so much of an honor that he got choked up. Robin said she's impressed by that. Ronnie said he told Stephanie that he couldn't get the words out fast enough. Howard said he could do this all day but he has to get to the news.
Howard said he has a clip of Ronnie getting emotional. He played a song parody and a clip where they asked Ronnie what makes him cry. Ronnie said he gets emotional about stuff watching TV and over his dog dying. He said he may have cried over Grey's Anatomy too.
Shuli said that was a whole other side of him. Howard said congratulations to Ronnie for the rally stuff. He said he wants to see that racing outfit. He said he's miserable and Ronnie is having the time of his life. He said he almost jumped out the window and this guy is driving race cars.
Brent told Howard to try the mushrooms. He said they say that one dose can help for 6 months at a time. Howard asked if Shuli does them. Shuli said they are fantastic. Howard said maybe he should try them. Brent said they are the safest drug you can take.
Howard played a clip of a guy on a mushroom trip. He said that doesn't sound so great. He let the guys go and did a live commercial read. He said he had so many things planned today. He didn't know he was getting into Ronnie's rally thing. He said what a dumb thing that is. He said he's flabbergasted. He said he doesn't even use that word that much. He said for all he knows it's racist.
- Jewel - September 21, 2015. 03/22/19. 9:20am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Jewel interview from 2015. Here's my rundown from that day:
Jewel Visits. 09/21/15. 8:05am
After the break they played a ''Booey Maguire'' parody. They also played the phony phone call that they used to make the Booey Maguire parody. They also played a ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' clip using Riley Martin clips as the part of Spicoli. They played Leslie West & Mountain's ''Never in My Life'' and a Baba Booey song parody as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that song with Gary was very musical. He said speaking of musical look who walked in. It was Jewel. Howard said she is a vision. She thanked him for that. Howard said Jewel has anew book and an album out at the same time. She said she does. Howard asked how she goes through a divorce, writes a book and records an album at the same time. Howard asked if she locked herself up for a year. Jewel said that she had to learn to be a single mom. Jewel said she also had to get out of her marriage with Ty. Howard asked if they still have a good relationship. Jewel said that they have to for their son. Howard said he doesn't know how she does that. Jewel said it's tough. She said that the child deserves it though.
Howard asked how she does that. Jewel said that you just go through things differently and don't hash things out anymore. Howard asked if she would fall in love with her ex-husband again. Jewel said they're not hanging out anymore so she doesn't think that could happen again.
Howard said her book made him sad. Howard asked if Jewel thinks her life is sad. Jewel said there is a lot of sad stuff in there. Howard said he remembers asking her if she was in therapy and she said no. She said it wasn't until her marriage starting going south that she got into it. She said she would totally recommend it. She said she went to a place in Tennessee. She said it's not psychotherapy. She said she did an intense thing where she went away for 7-10 days and then they went as a couple. Howard said that it's all about taking accountability for yourself. She said that it was a long process for her to think about breaking up a family. She said that she considers it a tremendous failure on her part. Howard said he can see that.
Jewel said there are people who can turn things around. Howard said he went to therapy across from a modeling agency. He said he knew that was a bad thing. Howard said he wasn't a cheater or anything himself. Jewel asked why the agency was a problem. Howard said that was the least of his problems.
Howard said it seems to him that there are so many sad stories and it's a miracle that she's there in one piece. Howard said Jewel grew up in Alaska. He asked if her therapist was a man or a woman. She said it was a man. She said she's good with both. Howard said this gook is pretty heavy.
Howard said he wants to get to the Eric the Actor thing before getting into the book more. He said that Jewel is going to honor Eric with a song. Howard said she did a little tribute to Eric. She said this is not on her album. Howard played the song that Jewel did about Eric the Actor. She sang about Eric calling the show and complaining daily and about so many things he did on the show. The song was to the tune of ''Tiny Dancer.''
After the song Howard said that she has captured Eric and captured everything in there. Howard asked if she thinks that he's in a little person heaven. Jewel said she wants to believe that people go wherever they want. Howard said Jewel hit it all in the song. Howard said she even captured that he was bitter and he'd go to Twitter to express himself. Howard said that was great.
Howard said getting back to the book, ''Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story'', and also mentioned she has a new album called ''Picking Up The Pieces'' too. He said you can find out more about her at JewelJK.com
Howard said in the book she talks about how she was sexualized from the age of 8. Howard said she must have never felt safe. Howard said men were even into her at the age of 8. Howard said men are creepy. Jewel said your emotions are the best alarm system. She said she figured out what men were about before she was able to turn in that currency. She said she figured out you don't have to do that. She said she saw stuff behind the curtain and it was too much.
Howard said Jewel put an ad in the paper to get a ride to Anchorage to see her mom. Howard said most kids wouldn't know to do that. Howard said a guy wanted to drive her there and she took the drive. Howard said she was in 5th grade. Howard asked what her father thought. She said he knew she was going to do that. She said that she would hitchhike to school back then too. Howard asked if she thought she wasn't protected at all. Jewel said it was a very neglected childhood for sure. Howard said that's an insane story. Howard said the guy who gave her the ride wasn't even going to Anchorage. Howard said she found out years later that he was a child porn guy. Jewel said that he made her very uncomfortable. She said that he gave her the willies. Jewel said that something set her off about the guy. She said that he spooked her but nothing happened. She said he made her uncomfortable but he never touched her or anything. Howard said the guy was arrested. She said that he was in the paper but she's not sure what happened.
Howard said that Jewel befriended a girl who had money. Jewel said it wasn't a lot of money but it was more than they had. She said they were living in free housing at the time. Howard said she started to steal from this girl. She said she did. She said that this vacuum opened up in her and she just took all of this stuff in a bag. She said that it was a compulsive thing she did. She took the stuff in a garbage bag. Howard said she realized if she wore the clothes she stole people would know she did it. Jewel said it was like starving and she stole food. She said that's how she felt.
Howard said Jewel had nothing. Howard said her mother was horrible. Howard said her mom didn't want to be a mom again and she ran off. Howard said she came back into her life when she started to get famous. Howard said she lets her mom manage her now. Howard said he can't imagine doing that. Jewel said that her mom was this remote princess to her and she was this calm person. She said that she was artistic and meditative. Howard said that when her mom was managing her she had no money. Howard said her career was completely mismanaged. Howard said she had to get her out of her life and she had to have her sigh a contract. Jewel said that she hasn't talked to her since 2003. Howard said that she feels that she could poison her mind. Jewel said she doesn't think that her mom had her best interests at heart. She said it's not healthy for her to be around.
Howard asked what kind of contract she signed to get her out of her life. Jewel said it was to get the business dealings out of their lives. She said she's not sure how her mother felt about that. She said that she read that she said it was her idea and she wanted to do other things in her life. Howard said she has resisted going back to her. Jewel said she didn't get any therapy for that. She said she has a hole in her heart for a mom. She said that she hurt her way worse than not having a mom.
Howard asked if she can trust any women in her life. Jewel said that she does. She said there are some very amazing women in her life. Howard asked how tough it was to sign that contract with her mom. Jewel said that her mom said she was looking forward to being just her mom but she knew it was over at that time. She said she knew she'd never hear from her again and she was right.
Howard asked if her son would ever want to meet her. Jewel said she has spoken to him about it and she knows that he'll want to know about it when he grows up. She said that she and her dad have a healed relationship now. She said that they still have to build back trust. She said that it felt good to write about all of these abusive relationships. Howard said it seems like they were all abusive.
Howard said Jewel went to live with her aunt in Hawaii. She wanted to get away from Alaska. Howard said they nicknamed her ''tuna'' in Hawaii. that was slang for slut. Howard said that they said she was fucking all of the guys in school. Howard asked if it was about her beauty. She said that she got the feeling it was their terrorism tactic. She said she wasn't a popular girl or anything. Howard said he'd figure she was the prom queen type. She said ''Oh god, no.'' Howard said she had that and then her aunt's husband was yelling at her about her fucking the boys. Howard said she goes back to Alaska to live with her mom eventually. Howard said that her mom announces she has cancer and she has to go off to cancer treatments and leaves her again. Howard said it's just un-fucking-believable. Howard said he would feel bad about himself if this happened to him. Robin said it has a lot to do with your self worth.
Howard said Jewel found out that her mom may not have even had cancer. She might have just wanted to get away from being a mother again. Howard said that Jewel describes that she had saved $400 and it disappeared. She said that may have been in the pre-release version of the book and she's not going to say anything about that.
Howard asked Jewel if she's the hottest woman on the planet because men treat her like that. Howard said all men hit on anything that walks. She said that men are trying to get away with anything they can and trying to get away with it. Howard said she applied for a Nanny job and the guy hit on her. Howard said it would have robbed her soul if she had done anything. Jewel said that it would have.
Howard said that she used her divorce to write some songs for her new album. Howard said that he's not saying she sabotaged her marriage to do that but sometimes this stuff comes along because of pain. Jewel said she doesn't write well while she's in pain but after the pain she can write well. Howard asked what the name of the song was that she did with Dolly Parton. She said it was ''My Father's Daughter.'' Howard asked if it was about her father. She said it's actually not a painful song. She said that she thought back about her dad and he wasn't a bad guy. She said that he had no shot at being a parent because he was abused as a child. She said that it's about learning new emotional patterns. She said that her dad stepped up and did his best. She said they could have ended up in foster care. Howard asked if he ever asked why he married her mother. She said that she had an affect on people that even she felt. She said she thinks it's an act.
Howard asked how she got Dolly Parton to do the song. Jewel said she wrote her a letter and she agreed to do it. Jewel said she showed up early and looked amazing. Howard asked if she was in the studio with her. Jewel said they were both in Nashville. Howard asked if she can tell Dolly that she fucked up and do it again. Jewel said that Dolly told her to boss her around if she needs to. She said that she had her own musical director there too. She said you don't have to tell Dolly anything. She said she's incredibly skilled.
Howard asked how long it took to produce the song. Jewel said they were in there for about an hour. Howard said then she runs off and does something else. Jewel said she felt very good about her doing the song. She said she didn't have to do it. Howard said it's just a business relationship. Jewel said that she ran off to work on some NBC shows but she thinks they'll hang out again. Howard asked if she can do the song solo. Jewel said she can.
Howard said the new album is called ''Picking Up The Pieces.'' Jewel said the song is about her grandparents and how they had this life in such a tough place in Alaska. She said that some people don't know it but her dad is on a show called ''Alaska The Last Frontier.'' Howard had Jewel perform her new song ''My Father's Daughter'' after that.
After the song Howard said that was a beautiful song. Howard asked why she needs Dolly Parton on that song. Jewel said her voice is how she pictures her voice in the future. Howard said that you can tell what she's talking about when she sings that song. Jewel said that it is pretty private stuff but people cry when they hear it. They can relate to it. Howard said that he might have to read the book while listening to the album.
Howard said he loves Neil Young and Jewel recorded her first album on Neil's ranch. Howard said even that turned bad. Howard said he hates this. He said he feels when he's around new people they think they're too hip for the room. Howard said she was hanging out with Neil and she asked if he was playing a C chord. Howard said that's a legitimate question. Neil got up and walked out on her though. Howard said then his daughter gets a hold of her and said that he ignores you if he thinks what you say is stupid. Howard said that has to sting. Howard said she's heard enough of that in her life. Jewel said that they get along great now. She said that maybe Neil didn't even hear her. She said she was doing the album as a favor for someone and she did it at Neil's place using his band. She said there was more to that story than what Howard said. Howard said he'd kill himself if he was rejected like that. Robin said Howard has some of that in him too.
Jewel said that she eventually freaked out and lost it when she had to go out and do an acoustic set for the same audience that Neil was playing for. She said Neil stuck his finger in her face and told her to go out there and give them no respect. She said she went out and did her quietest song and you could hear a pin drop in the Garden. She said it was amazing.
Jewel said that Bob Dylan believed in her and she kept going thanks to him. She said that she sold like 12 albums and he told her to keep going no matter what.
Howard said Jewel told a great story about Sean Penn asking her to write a song for a movie he did. Howard said that he called her dad asking to speak to her. Howard said that her dad hung up on Sean Penn. Howard said he was just looking to hire her or was he looking to meet her. Jewel said they did date. She said that she was in love with him eventually. She said that he believed in her when no one else did. She said having that go away was hard. Howard said that she saw him for about a year. Howard said that stuff becomes public. She said it was actually very quiet. She said she never wanted to be known for who she was dating. She said they enjoyed each other but she never wanted to be famous for that. Howard said he gets the feeling that some celebrities call the tabloids to get in them. Jewel said that she would turn down going to public places and things like that. Howard said he would be so proud if he was dating someone who was on the red carpet of an event and he'd go. Jewel said that he was very supportive and she did go to the Venice Film festival with him. She said that she couldn't afford to be known for dating someone. She said she wanted to be known for her mind and heart.
Jewel told Howard that she turned down that show on MTV where they had people living in a house. She said that she didn't think she was strong enough emotionally to do that. She said she also didn't want to be known for that. She said she wanted to be a singer/songwriter. Howard said most people can't say no to that. He said that's a good thing for her. He said that you have to pay your dues and not become instantly famous. Jewel said that she knew she was vulnerable and she could end up being a statistic. She said she went about it scientifically and she didn't want to take any shortcuts. Jewel said she tried to go very slowly and build with a good foundation. She said she was an agoraphobic and she worked her way through that to get over it. Howard asked if she read a lot to get her information. She said she did. She said she did meditation too.
Howard said his mother had a lot of stuff like this in her life. He said that she figured it all out. Howard said that people who are abandoned rise to the occasion.
Howard gave Jewel plugs for her new book and album. He said that she met Tupac Shakur at a party once and 3 days later he was shot in Vegas. Howard said she could have been there if she had gone. Howard said that must have freaked her out. Jewel said that life is full of crazy paths you can go down. She said that she could have done things in her life that would have screwed her up. She said that there are so many bad decisions she could have made.
Howard said he had Rob Lowe in there and he talked about doing an acting thing with Jewel. Howard said that he descried that he didn't want to kiss him. Howard played her a clip about how she didn't want to kiss him. In the clip Rob talked about how Jewel was supposed to kiss him in this thing but she didn't want to kiss him. Rob said the script called for it. Howard said he admires her for not doing that. Howard asked what was going on there. Jewel said it wasn't that big of a deal. She said she had just gone through some stuff with her mom and she was in a bad place emotionally. She said that her son was there too. She said she had asked the producers if she had to do it. She said she ended up doing it and it turned out okay. She said that it might have been unprofessional for her to take a role and do that.
Howard gave Jewel some more plugs for all of her stuff. Howard said she has to go out and promote now. She said she loves singing but she doesn't get a lot of sleep. She said she is going to try to figure out how to do it with her son on the road with her. She said that you can't sleep so it almost necessitates drug use. Howard said she didn't start drinking until she was 30. Howard said she must have seen bad behavior in bars and at home. Howard asked why she started. She said it was just time to become an alcoholic. She said she's not really a drinker though. Jewel told Howard about why she wrote her book and how you can't avoid pain. She said you have to face it head on. She said drinking just adds pain.
Howard asked if Jewel is dating or still single. Jewel said she is dating. Howard asked how that's going. She said it's going good. Howard asked if it's Rob Lowe. She said it is not. Howard said it's not David Spade who was very taken with her at the birthday bash. Howard said Spade thinks she's the funniest woman on the planet. Howard asked how one applies to date her. Jewel said it's hard to meet people. She asked Howard how he dated. Robin said he broadened his circle for a while. Howard said he did but he figured it out rapidly. Howard said Jewel has a son so she has to be careful dating. Howard asked about how it happens that she dates someone. Howard asked if she would go back to Sean Penn now that he's single again. She said they saw each other not long ago. She said she had to ask if she could talk about him in her book. She said it was nice to communicate with him again.
Howard asked if a guy has to be Superman to date her. Jewel said she doesn't care if the guy is famous or not. She said some guys don't like to go out with you if you make more money than they do.
Howard said he's getting the hi sign so he has to wrap up. Howard thanked her for doing the Eric the Actor song for them. Howard said he knows Eric would have loved that. Howard thanked her for singing her song for them too. Howard gave her some plugs for her new album ''Picking Up The Pieces'' and for her book ''Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story''. They wrapped up a short time later and went to break. As they were going to break they played Jewel's cover of Howard Stern's ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes.''
- Chappaquiddick Movie - April 2, 2018. 03/22/19. 10:35am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about the movie Chappaquiddick. Here's my rundown from that day:
Chappaquiddick Movie Talk. 04/02/18. 10:10am
After the break they played a bit with Jeff the Vomit Guy and a Ted Kennedy ''Chappaquiddick'' movie parody bit with Howard doing the voice of Kennedy.
Howard came back and said Gary saw the Chappaquiddick movie. He said he said it wasn't a positive portrayal of Ted Kennedy. Robin said she would imagine not. Howard said if that happened today he would have been cooked. Robin said the #MeToo movement wouldn't have been good for him either. Howard ended up doing his Ted Kennedy impression and talked about the movie ''Chappaquiddick.'' He said he thought they were going to call that movie ''Splash'' but that name was already taken.
Howard asked if Robin saw the movie. Robin said no. Howard asked where they found an actor with his huge Irish head. Robin said he was just channeling him and didn't need that gigantic head. Howard said his head wouldn't fit on the screen because it's so big.
Howard asked who plays Kennedy. Robin said she'd have to ask Gary. Gary said his name is Jason Clark. Howard asked who plays the woman. Gary said it's Kate Mara. Howard was still doing the Kennedy impression and said they did it in 4D and drowned the audience. Howard kept going with the impression talking about the movie.
Howard, as Ted, told Robin to be careful of the pussy flu. He said that you can't stick an anal vibrator in a woman's pussy. He was talking about how his father always told him not to do that. He said as he always says ''Don't get shit in your gash.''
Howard asked who even knows how to spell Chappaquiddick. He said it's even hard to Google. Robin said he died at the right time. She said that it could have come back to haunt him.
Howard said a lot of kids learn about Chappaquiddick and they Google it and get ChapStick instead. He kept talking to Robin as Ted and asked why Trump didn't just drown Stormy Daniels after he fucked her. He said he could have saved a bundle of money.
Howard said he'll take a quick break and then get to some news. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
- The News With Robin - April 18, 2018. 03/22/19. 10:45am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Robin's news segment. Here's my rundown from that day:
More Email And Calls. 04/18/18. 10:10am
After the break they played the Black Crows performing ''Hard to Handle'' and then Howard did another live commercial read.
Howard played a Ronnie and Stephanie song where they sang about shoving things in Ronnie's ass. Howard said it was great to see Claire in there. He said that Mandy Patinkin is so good. He said that guy can't get a woman on the show though. He said he has no luck in love.
Howard said he never finished the email earlier. He read some more feedback about Ronnie and Stephanie's relationship. Howard read some mail about Ronnie's mom coming in.
Howard said people were writing in about Gary's pitch. Gary had it wrong that it was near Father's day. It was actually the day before Mother's day. Gary said the guy was right. Howard read more about Gary's pitch. He had a few emails about that.
Howard said that Gary got the blame for him not being on the top floor of the hotel he stayed in. Howard said that wasn't Gary's fault. Howard said he's not in charge of everything.
Howard said he got some email about his hair at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He said he used the good stuff for that. He said they don't make that stuff anymore so he only uses it for special occasions.
Howard said someone wrote in about the glasses he was wearing. He said they were wondering what kind they are. Howard said he really doesn't know. He said he mentioned it before but he can't remember. He said it's written very small on the side. He said he wants to say Olivetti or something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview. He asked if he would do an audio book of just his interviews. Howard said ''who knows.'' He said maybe he is working on that kind of book. He said he's not saying he is. Howard said maybe he is, maybe he's not.
Howard said the glasses are called... He wasn't able to read it. Howard asked if anyone has really good vision and can see this. He said it says ''Photocryonic'' or something on the side. He said no one is coming in to read it. Gary said he can't read very well up close. Howard said Gary can't even read regular writing. Will came in and read it and said it says ''Oliver Peoples'' or something like that.
Robin's News. 04/18/18. 10:20am
Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Robin asked Howard who did the song parody. Fred said it was Psych. Robin said it had very good production value.
Robin read a story about how the supreme court is looking into whether or not things purchased in other states should be taxed. Howard said that he loves Amazon and just leave them alone. Robin said she's sure that states are hurting for money. Robin said they're not reaping from the sale of those things. Robin said we could all be affected by that. Howard said cars hurt the horse and buggy business but we didn't stop them.
Robin read about the Bill Cosby trial and how that's still going on. Robin said that they have learned that Mr. Cosby does not like intercourse. Robin said he's only into the petting. Robin said he likes making out. Howard said imagine that. He said it's such a lame thing. Robin asked if that's why he thinks he's innocent.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the show helps him get through the day. He said he's a trauma surgeon. Howard said he sounds traumatized himself. Howard asked what he works on the most. The caller said car accidents and motorcycle accidents. He said he had a bike in college but now he would never do that. Howard said guys lose their legs. The caller said that it's not even the rider who causes the accident. He said they get hit by someone texting or something. The caller said that Ronnie is really not self aware at all. He said that's why he called in.
Howard asked the caller if he has ever seen a guy with a penis injury. The caller said they had a guy run over by a forklift. He said that he wasn't able to use his penis ever again after that. Howard asked who broke the news to the guy. The caller, John, said he will or a colleague will. Howard had him break the news to him like he was that guy. John did his thing and told him that he had some injuries down below. John said he's very nervous doing this. He said Howard put him on the spot. Fred was playing sound effects and had Howard die when he heard the news about losing his penis.
John said that getting into vet school is very hard so Ronnie might not have anything to worry about. Howard thanked him for the call. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a French man who has had two successful face transplants. Robin said he had one in 2010 and his body started rejecting it 2 years ago. Robin said he had a second transplant and he was released this week. Howard said he had a lot of rejection of the face in high school.
Howard took a call from Balls who asked if it's tough to do an interview the second time with someone like Claire Danes. Howard said he thinks that it's easier because they are more comfortable. Balls asked if he would ever do a eulogy for someone on the staff who died. Howard said he would be too broken up and he might not be able to do it.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he's been thinking about Ronnie all night. He said he has a few notes. He said Ronnie has a point when he says he doesn't want to get married to Stephanie because he's old and doesn't want to hold her back. He said he thinks he resents her for being young. Howard said he's not angry at her. He said he thinks he just can't resolve it. He said maybe he's trying to push her away. Howard said they went over all of this already. He hung up on King.
Robin read a story about a lottery winner who credits his win with Karma. Robin said he gave a man 6 bucks for looking down on his luck. He bought a scratch off ticket and won $750,000. Howard said that had nothing to do with it. He said if there was Karma then Hitler wouldn't have been around. Howard said that's ridiculous. He said the lottery is a sucker's game. He said you're not going to win. Robin said this guy won 10 grand a few years ago. Howard said just take all of that money and put it in savings instead of spending it on the lottery.
Robin said two Marvel movies are coming out in May. Robin said that Avengers: Infinity War is coming out and then Deadpool 2 is coming out later in May. Howard said if it's half as good as the first one he'll go see it. Robin said Ant Man and The Wasp is coming out in July. Venom is coming in October. Howard said they should have one a month. Another Spider-Man movie is coming out in December.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that on E! they said that Claire Danes announced on ''Howard Stern's X-rated show'' that she's pregnant. Howard said that they have a problem with him over there. Howard thought about it and said maybe they're right if you listened to yesterday's show. Howard said they can call him X-rated just don't call him a podcaster. He said they keep giving him little digs over there. He said he gets a lot of shit like that. Robin said she thought it was lightening up but there they go again.
Robin asked if Jessica Jones' sister is going to be a nemesis. Howard said they don't know yet. He said that it seems like that could be the case.
Robin asked about the Walking Dead finale. Howard said it had some problems. He said he still enjoys it. He said they are a little bit off this season. He said there are some Negan issues. He said the ratings dropped but he's still there with them.
Robin read a story about Barbara Bush dying at the age of 92. Robin said she mentioned the other day that she gave up all treatment. Howard said she stopped for one day and look what happened. Robin said they say she spent her last days answering phone calls and drinking bourbon. Howard said he wants his parents to lighten up and do stuff like that. He did his mother's voice talking about why they don't drink. He said his father is 94 so he should be able to drink whatever the fuck he wants. Howard said his mother says he gets red in the face from it though. Howard said he loves that Ronnie is 70 and he's going to go jet ski. He said Barbara Bush went to Coachella . He said she did everything on her bucket list. Robin read more about Barbara Bush and how she was a rock right up until the end. Howard said that's his kind of woman. He said he heard she did Ayahuasca right at the end. Robin said that's the way to go. She said you're hallucinating so you don't even know what's happening.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he tuned in to see Roseanne last night and they had the news on talking about Barbara Bush. Howard said there are so many places to go to see the news that they don't need to do that. Howard said they could have a one minute mention and people can go read about it somewhere. The caller said they didn't need to do it for 10 minutes. The caller said that they used a picture of her that made her look maniacal or like she's looking through a concrete wall. Howard said alright, let the dead rest. Howard let the caller go and spent a little more time talking about Bush.
Robin read a story about a plane that had an engine fire just 20 minutes after taking off. Robin said they were at about 32,000 feet. Robin said this was a Southwest flight. Robin said that someone lost their life on this flight. Robin said the metal from the engine failed and a piece broke a window and a passenger was almost sucked out of the plane. Howard said he can't imagine going like that. Robin said imagine that's your seat mate. Robin said passengers helped keep the woman in the plane. Robin had some audio clips of people talking about that. Gary told Howard that Southwest is one of the few airlines that lets you buy a ticket and pick your own seat. Howard said that woman picked the wrong seat. Robin said that the crew tried to give the woman artificial respiration but it didn't work. She was later reported dead. Robin said she may have been in her 40s. Gary said she was 43. Robin said she was a mother too. Howard said that's a horrible story. Robin said it absolutely is. Robin said they're investigating the engine failure.
Robin read a story about Mike Pompeo holding secret talks with Kim Jong Un. Robin said that officials are speaking directly with the leader of North Korea. Robin said that they may have a direct meeting with Trump and Kim Jong Un.
Robin read a story about President Trump pulling back on sanctions on Russia. Robin said that Nikki Haley said there were going to be sanctions but now she's saying that she doesn't get confused after the White House said she did.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked what he thinks about pussy ass Starbucks shutting down to do racial bias training. Howard said he had some racial training and it worked on him. He said they just said ''try not to be racist.'' Howard said they're going to close Starbucks for half a day and have racial bias class. He said that should fix everything. Jim said it's such an overreaction. Howard asked why he cares so much. Jim said that black people are never going to get this thing situated until they have a conversation about themselves. Howard said he might have to put Jim in class. Robin said Jim wasn't there so he doesn't know what happened. Jim said Robin wasn't either.
Howard said it's time to celebrate that Hillary Clinton is on the phone. He took the call from Fake Hillary who joking about how horrible it would have been if she was elected. She said she used a private email serve so they'd all be doomed. She also said there's no border wall but if that's the case then that means the President is a liar. She said she's sure that Obamacare has been replaced with something much better and cheaper. She said she's sure that Howard 360 is up and running too. Howard spent a little more time with fake Hillary before letting her go.
Robin read a story about James Comey being out on his book tour and a lot of people are showing up to get books signed. Robin said that he's been saying that Trump can't get over him because he's been talking about him non stop. Robin had some audio of Comey on Stephen Colbert's show talking about that. Robin said Trump has been tweeting about Comey and about Stormy Daniels.
Robin read a story about a Russian law maker saying that any sanctions on them will be targeted and painful.
Robin said the IRS web site went down yesterday and tax payers are getting an extra day to file.
Robin said that Cuba is getting ready for a new leader not named Castro. Robin said they are looking for a successor that Castro will hand pick himself.
Howard said he had someone email about the comment he made about Jon Bon Jovi's uncle ''Melvin'' that he mentioned in his Hall of Fame speech. Howard said he was making a joke when he said Melvin. He said he knows it's Tony.
Today's show was over around 11:25am.