- Vacation Replay Shows - Day 6. 02/10/20. 7:00am
Howard is on vacation this week so they're playing segments from the past couple of years. Here's what they played today:
- Oscars Recap - February 25, 2019. 02/10/20. 7:00am
First on today's vacation replay show they played last year's Oscars recap segment. Here's my rundown from that day:
Back Live - Academy Awards And Grammy Awards Recap. 02/25/19. 7:00am
Howard was back from vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about how it's been two weeks and he's back now. Robin said the whole world has changed. Howard said good morning to Robin and Fred. He said he watched the Oscars so he'll comment on that. He said he didn't see them all but he did fast forward. He said he watched 15 minutes of it which is about how long it should be.
Howard was about to talk about it but he had to scratch himself because he has dry skin from the weather. Robin said he has to get that stuff that Jada Pinkett Smith uses on her skin. Howard said maybe he should.
Howard said if you're in a Oscar category like Best Hair or something then just shut the fuck up. He said there was one woman who was up there for something like Best Costume or hair or something. He said she ruined it. He said they make a long speech and they have to cut them off with the orchestra. He said no one cares about you or your award. He said they're people who you don't know and they could have cut an hour out of the show. He said he was able to skip an hour no problem. Robin said they used to do those awards first and you had to wait for the ones you wanted to see. Howard said no one knew this woman or likes her. JD asked if it was Makeup and hair styling. Howard said it was a young black woman. He said he's not sure what it was. Robin said it may have been the woman who won for Black Panther. Howard said no one knows her or cares. He said that their ratings are going down because of that kind of thing. He said he knows these people are talented but so is he. He asked where his award is. He said the whole Oscars thing is a joke.
Howard played a clip of this woman rambling and said you have to have some kind of self awareness. He said just shut up. He said no one is going to remember you. He played more of her speech where she went on and on about her award. Howard said no one is there to hear her carry on. He said she buttoned someone's pants.
Howard said the Oscars was boring. He said he and Beth watched the red carpet. He said Ryan Seacrest was on E! and on ABC. He said no one else can do it apparently. He said all of the interviewers have nothing to ask these people. He said they got Jennifer Lopez. He said that he doesn't like her and A-Rod together. He said he wants to throw up when he thinks about them. He said it was like Hulk Hogan with Bubba's wife. He said it made him ill thinking about it.
Howard said this red carpet thing goes on for like 2 hours. He said that you think Ryan will have something interesting to ask J-Lo and A-Rod. He said ask anything. He said ask how they got here that night. He said ask about the car. He said this guy has nothing. He said he asked nothing.
Howard said the worst guy on the red carpet was Sam Elliot. He said that he had nothing to say. He said he was asked how he got the role and he was mumbling. He said that he was talking about how he got the role in A Star Is Born and it was boring.
Howard said they had all kinds of B-list celebrities on the red carpet. He said that no one good wanted to be interviewed. He said J-Lo showed up and she looked gorgeous. He said that even A-Rod looked good. He said this is the interview. He played a clip and Ryan Seacrest was talking about how everyone was excited to see them. Howard said he wasn't even asking a question. He said he was yelling at the TV and Beth told him to calm down. He said she ended up moving to another bedroom.
Howard said just ask a question. He said there were two famous people standing there so ask a question. He wasn't asking a question. Howard asked what she's supposed to say to that. He said ask her anything. Howard said there was no question he could ask J-Lo or A-Rod. He said Ryan didn't ask a question. He just made a statement and let them go.
Howard said that drove him crazy. He said just ask a question. He said he could have asked anything.
Howard played some of the Sam Elliot red carpet interview. He did his impression of Sam's deep mumble. Howard said he fell asleep at one point. Howard said Ryan had no question for A-Rod or J-Lo. He said there's someone you kind of want to see. He said dread the room. He said keep them talking. He said ask her if she thinks the Jews run the banks. He said even if it's Anti-Semetic ask it. Robin said you don't have to go there. Howard said he gets right to that.
Howard said then he likes to see women's fashion. He said it's the same reason that women look bad at their weddings. He said they get a dress that doesn't fit them properly. He said they get their hair pulled back and piled on top of their head. He said every day you see the woman with her hair down and she looks fabulous. He said then they take it and pull it and pile it. He said they don't look the same. Robin said they get that from Hollywood. Howard said these women show up in their gowns and these dress designers hate women. He said they're making a joke out of women. He said he's never seen outfits like this. He said these designers should be in jail. He said Charlize Theron showed up in a Star Trek outfit. He said it's crazy. He said they made her look bad. He said it's a joke.
Howard said ABC and E! were competing trying to cover the most outfits. Howard said Charlize Theron's tits were made to look pointy. He said he thinks these guys who design these dresses hate women. Robin said she's looking at that dress now. She said that she should have asked why they made her look ugly.
Howard said E! had a ''glam bot'' which was a gay robot. He said he was watching the Oscars and one of the stars of Crazy Rich Asians was the captain on the new Star Trek. He said he has to recommend that show. He said the show is really good. He said he loves it. Robin said that's Michelle Yeoh. She said she was in the studio once and they interviewed her. Gary said she is correct. She said that they may have done the Gossip Game or something. Howard said she's good on Star Trek. He said he loves that new Star Trek. He said they put the show on their new app and no one is paying for that. He said no one is going to buy that app. He said he's not paying 10 bucks a month to get that. Robin said he can afford it. Howard said he's not buying one show for $10 a month. He said they caved in and put it on iTunes anyway. He said no one was buying it.
Howard said Michelle Yeoh was on the show in 1997 to promote a James Bond movie. He said she was in Crazy Rich Asians too. He said he liked that.
Howard said these guys who are designing these dresses are making women look ridiculous. He said Emma Stone was in an outfit you wouldn't give a second look. He said Sarah Paulson should sue the person who made her dress.
Howard said he can't believe what he's reading about Spike Lee in Page Six. He said that Spike won't even look at him at the Knicks games. He said that the won't say hello even if he's next to Tracy Morgan. He said he thinks he hates him. Robin said she knows Spike hates Howard. Howard said he doesn't hate Spike. He said the movie he made that deserved an award was the Malcolm X movie. He said that it wasn't Do the Right Thing. He said that wasn't the best movie he made. Howard said he thinks Malcolm X was a snub. He said it was so well done. He said he saw Black Klansman and that wasn't a great movie. He said they gave him an award but he threw a fit when Green Book won. He said he tried to storm out. Howard said imagine the guy who directed Green Book. He said that they say Spike got so upset that he walked toward the back of the auditorium. He said fuck the Academy Awards. He said that there were two movies that won. He said Bradley Cooper will make another movie because A Star Is Born was huge at the box office. Howard said that's what counts.
Howard read more about what Spike did and how Jordan Peele had to calm him down. Then he went back and turned his back to the stage. Howard said the guy is a little too excited about this stuff. He said it doesn't make you any better a director if you win.
Gary said that Sal voted for Black Klansman in every category in their pool. He said they asked him why and he said that he knows that the academy likes to ''award those people.'' Sal said that's not what he said. He said Gary has it wrong. He said he didn't say ''those people.'' He said it's the typical liberal Hollywood people who like to coddle the black people. Howard said they weren't able to win for years. Sal said they're keeping them happy now. Howard said Sal loves anything with the Klan in it. Sal said that's not the case. He said this has nothing to do with race. He said he loves black people. He said Hollywood is so over the top. Robin asked if he won the pool. Sal said he didn't but he came close. He said they knew Spike was going to go nuts. He said they were right.
Howard said Spike came back and turned his back to the stage. He said the guy who won for Green Book had to look at Spike's back. He said that's what he does at the Knick games. He said he has to calm down. He said it ain't that important. Howard said you win at the box office. Howard said that's how he does it. He said he has an audience there on satellite and he doesn't win awards.
Howard said Black Klansman is a good movie but it's not great. Robin asked if he would have had that reaction to any movie he did or just that one.
Howard said he doesn't like a guy ruining someone else's moment. He said he ruined Metallica's moment at the MTV awards though. He said he didn't mean to. He just thought being Fartman was funny.
Howard said Rami Malek made a nice speech. Robin said he fell off the stage. Howard said he didn't know that. He said something good finally happened. He said it's so boring otherwise.
Howard said they were doing promos for a special performance by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. He said nothing else was happening. Howard said it was kind of cool to see them perform. He said that everyone likes to see Lady Gaga sing. He said that he's not sure who the directors are for that show. He said they're off their rocker. He said they were promoting this thing for months. He said he wanted to see this performance because he likes that song. He said they had the camera behind them. He said the director made it about himself and showed how artistic he could be. He said he had a 360 camera behind them. He said they had the back of Bradley's head. He said he wants to see the performance. Howard said it's a simple job. He said let me see what's going on. He said when he's at a concert he stares directly at the performer. He said you aren't sitting at the back of the stage.
Howard said Bradley opens up the song and he's singing and he's wondering when they're going to cut to the front shot. He said he couldn't see a performance. Howard said Lady Gaga starts to sing and they're at the side of her head. He said the whole song is about them looking at each other and you don't see them looking at each other. He said if he was teaching directing at NYU he'd show this tape to show what not to do. He said there's nothing complex about this. He said he wishes he could write his congressman about this. He said at one point Bradley is singing and he's looking at Lady Gaga's ear lobe. He said that Bradley is in this huge movie and he's singing this song for a dead character. He said that he missed the whole moment because of this director.
Howard said if he's singing then shoot him from behind. He said he understands that. He said Lady Gaga and Bradley are staring at each other but you don't see it. He said this drove him nuts. He said it's the same with whoever directed the Grammy's. He said that the musical performances were very good on that show but you couldn't see anyone. He said these people did duets on the show and they throw the director for a loop. Howard said there were great performances on the show and you can't see anyone. He said these guys don't know what they're doing. He said it's very simple to cover a performance like that.
Howard said he's watching the Grammy's and this guy Post Malone is an interesting looking guy. He said he has his face tattooed. He said that he sounds pretty good on the Grammys but they buried him in smoke. He said the guy in the Red Hot Chili Peppers was barely seen on stage. He said that he smacked his own face during the Grammys because he was barely able to see these performances.
Howard said Bette Midler did a great performance on the Grammys. He asked how old she is. Robin said she's like 78. Gary said she's 73. Howard said she did such a beautiful song. He said she did a Mary Poppins movie song. He said at least they let you see her. He said she got up and sang and she's such a pro. He said she engages with the audience. Howard said he was looking at her tits. He said she wasn't known as a beauty when she was younger but she has nice titties. Robin said Charlize Theron has nice ones but she gets a D for showing them in that dress but Bette gets an A for her's. Howard said yes. He played some of her performance from the Grammys.
Howard played some of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga's performance from the Oscars. Howard said they built that up for months. Robin said it must have been nerve wracking for him. Howard said he's pretty sure it was. Howard said this director did a big 360 and it showed nothing. He said you think he's going to bail on it but he didn't give up. Howard said the guy should be in jail for that. He said he wishes he could direct the Oscars. He said he wishes he could do everything in Hollywood. He said he stayed up to watch this performance and he was so angry. He said this is why he has to leave radio. He said everything aggravates him. He said he doesn't like incompetence. He said he works hard at his job and when you see someone fucking off you have to say it.
Howard said you can't see his reaction shot or Lady Gaga. He said you have no idea what's going on up on stage. He said they were tracking from behind their heads. Howard said when Les was working at CBS this never would have happened. Robin said this was on ABC though. Howard said ''Oh, that's right.''
Howard said he thinks if they interviewed this guy he'd say that some ISIS terrorists came in and put a gun to his head to make him do that shot. Howard said Bradley shouldn't have gone to the Oscars. He said it's fucked up. Robin said it was an awful slight. Howard said that Lady Gaga is singing to the boy and you can't see the boy. Robin said she saw a clip and thought she performed the whole thing alone.
Howard played more of the performance and said it was all being missed. He said that this is why he smacked himself in the head during the Grammys.
Howard said it was an emotional moment and they didn't get any of it. Howard took a call from fake Lady Gaga who said Bradley was robbed. She then sang that he was robbed. Howard said see how upset she is. Howard said he and Robin should duet on this song. He said he asked JD what it would cost him to get him and his wife to do that. He said JD wondered why that would be funny.
Howard said he wants the lyrics to that song so he and Robin can sing it. Robin said she needs them too. Howard made up his lyrics for a few seconds.
Howard said this is the part Robin will sing. He said she does the heavy lifting in that song. Howard made up more lyrics and sang to Robin to the tune of Shallow. Fred was throwing him the lines and Howard was repeating them. Howard said he doesn't have those lyrics. He said they're not the same thing as Fred was giving him.
Howard asked Fred to start the song over again. He had the lyrics this time. Fred told him when to start. Howard sang to Robin and Robin was trying to help him get the lines in the right place. Robin said she doesn't come in for a while. A few seconds later she was singing to Howard. Howard said this might be her song. Fred told Howard to get ready. Howard said this is Lady Tata. Robin went up high and said she can't do that. She said she won't have a voice left. Howard said she came out of retirement. Robin said she can't do it. She said she's going to lose her voice.
Howard asked what lyrics these are. He said the ones Gary gave him were wrong. Howard said they missed the whole moment on the Academy Awards. He said go back and watch and you'll see what he's talking about.
Howard played a song parody about Robin to the tune of ''Shallow.'' They went to break after that.
- Flirty Gary Joins Grindr / Bobo On The Phone / Pete & Kate Discussion - February 4, 2019. 02/10/20. 7:55am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played a new phony phone call and more. Here's my rundown from that day:
A New Flirty Gary Phony Phone Call. 02/04/19. 8:55am
After the break Howard came right back and said that Wendy Williams must be really sick. He said she walked away from her show. He said he was out sick once and Wendy went off on him saying she never misses a show. He said that she jinxed herself.
Howard said that he has to get off the Super Bowl for a bit. He said people love to hear him comment on something he knows nothing about. He said that he's going to bring back Flirty Gary. He said he has a new phony phone call the guys made. He said that everyone voted that phony phone call the best of 2018. He said they hear you and they respond. Howard said Flirty Gary is always looking for love. He played an old call the guys made with the Gary clips. They had Gary using pick up lines that were kind of creepy.
Howard said what's sad is that things have to be bad for that woman if she has to meet him. He said he has such horrible lines. He said he has an amazing delivery though.
Howard said they got curious and wondered how he would do in the gay community. Howard said they got a picture of Gary and put him on Grindr which is a hook up app for the gay community. Howard said they put up all of the stats for Gary and it's amazing how many hot guys were into him. Howard read the bio they put up for Gary and they had him saying some of the weird stuff he says in the clips.
Howard said Gary had to go to his wife and tell her they were putting this up on Grindr. Howard asked if his wife got it. Gary said she looked at him and said ''Really?'' He said it was for the show and she said ''Whatever.'' Howard said he's doing it for the show. He said look at that guy's rock hard abs. Howard said Gary is all proud of himself. He said some of their gay friends were saying they don't get guys half as hot as that.
Howard said Latinos and ex-military seem to be into Gary. Robin wondered why that is. Gary said maybe they want to beat him up. Howard said some people are still trying to get in touch with Gary. Gary said he doesn't see that stuff. Howard read about how many people tried to get in touch with him and how many people were sending dick and asshole pictures. Howard said Chris put this all together. He asked him to come in.
Howard read more stats about Gary and all of the guys who were into him. Chris came in and said that one of the guys who wanted Gary was one who turned him down. Gary said he had him change the picture so he looked better. Chris said people are really into him. Robin asked why it's Daddy Gary. Chris said you can put your tribe in there. He said that's why he put daddy in there.
Howard said only 2 people recognized Gary from the show. He said someone asked if it's hard to suck Howard's dick with those chompers.
Howard said one guy said that he would never fuck anyone wearing an Obama shirt and blocked him. Howard said he thought all gay people were into Obama. Chris said that Caitlyn Jenner was into Trump for a while.
Howard asked Gary if he could fuck Caitlyn Jenner if he had to. Gary quickly said no. He said if there are no other women on the planet then he's sure he could.
Howard asked if Gary's kids know he's Dadddy Gary on Grindr. Gary said no but his one son is always looking for stuff about him. He said he's not sure what he would tell them. Howard said just tell them before they find it. Howard said Gary should tape that discussion. Gary said they were hoping that Page Six or someone would pick up on the story.
Howard said the people who found Gary on Grindr were saying that they love his dick sucking lips. Howard said they ended up calking a few people who they found on Grindr. He said everyone is digging his cheesy comments. Chris said they made his bio like that so they knew what they were getting into.
Howard played some of the audio of the call they made to this one guy from Grindr. They had flirty Gary throwing out those goofy pick up lines. The guy just stayed on the line taking all of those lines and laughing. Flirty Gary had all kinds of pick up lines for the gay guy.
Robin said that guy was trying to close the deal. Howard said he liked that his condom is his intestines. Howard said that guy walked into every setup. He said that's the funniest thing ever. He said that he likes Gay Flirty Gary. Gary asked why he acts like a black dude. Howard said the first one was Gary as a black dude. Gary said it doesn't make sense. Chris said none of this makes sense.
Howard asked if they're going to contact anyone else. Chris said the profile is still up. He said he should take it down. Chris said that he woke up this morning and there was an offer of $250 for him to do stuff.
John McAfee Interview Clips. 02/04/19. 9:10am
Howard said there's a guy who Gary mentioned wanted to have a woman shit in his mouth. Gary said it's the John McAfee guy who had the anti-virus stuff. Gary said the guy is running for president. He said he talks about it in this interview. Gary said that he has to do the interviews by phone and he can only stay on for 5 minutes or they can trace his calls. Howard said he thinks anyone can run for president. Howard read some details about this guy and how he made his money in the anti-virus thing. He said he ran off when his neighbor was shot dead. Howard said the guy is now a Bitcoin guy.
Howard said this guy pledged to eat his own dick if the price of Bitcoin didn't go to a million bucks. Howard played a clip of McAfee talking about that.
Howard said a documentary came out about McAfee in 2016 and women talked about how he wanted them to shit in his mouth. Howard played a clip of a woman talking about him having her do that. Howard said he has Sal's vote. Howard said there's nothing you can blackmail him over now. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard said that's a weird thing. He asked Gary if he has ever met anyone like that. Gary said no. Chris said no to that too. He said he had one guy who wanted him to pee on him in the shower and he said no to that.
Howard played more of John McAfee talking about this stuff and saying that it's his body and his choice. Gary said that he gets nervous when a guy says that he has never forced himself on a woman when that wasn't the question.
Howard said this isn't this guy's first run at the white House. He said he ran in 2016 as a Libertarian but he didn't get the nomination. He said he still announced his candidacy for 2020. He said he has to campaign in exile. He had audio of McAfee talking about how he hasn't paid his taxes in 8 years and he doesn't care. He said he's still running even with all of that going on. Howard said he likes this guy. He has to do his interviews in 5 minutes or less or his call can be traced. Howard played another clip of McAfee doing an interview and he cuts it off because of the 5 minute time limit.
Gary said Wesley Snipes used to do those interviews talking about not paying his taxes and he ended up in jail. Howard said people read books about it and they think they can get away with it. Then they end up going to jail. He said they always end up in jail.
Howard said they will get you eventually. Gary said he thinks they had a guy who wrote a book about it on the show. Robin said he would urge them to join him. Howard said they'd be getting out of jail now if they did that.
Bobo's Lamest Call Ever. 02/04/19. 9:20am
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Jay Leno was on Andy Cohen and he said some nice things about Howard. He said that he said Howard is very talented and he holds no grudges. Howard asked if he listens to the show. Bobo said of course he does. Howard said he played the comments. Bobo said he did hear that. Howard said he heard that and he's still asking about it. Howard asked how he missed that show. Bobo said he must have been training that day. Howard asked if he had any awareness that he commented on it already. Bobo said he did know that he said something about it. He said he didn't know it was taken from Andy Cohen. He sniffed. Howard and the guys goofed on him over that.
Howard asked why he would call in with that. Bobo asked if he would have Jay on the show. Howard said he already talked about all of this. He said he already poured his guts out over it. He said he's asking questions that are similar to what they were already talking about. Bobo asked if he would have him on the show. Howard said he was conflicted about it. He already talked about it. He said he was kind of non committal about it.
Howard said this is Bobo's lamest call ever. He said he thinks he ran out of questions. He played a song parody about Bobo's awful calls to the show. Howard said he usually defends Bobo but not this time. He said he was on a roll today too. He said he was in a good groove until this.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that they spoke about this. She said she told Bobo she didn't want Jay on the show. Howard asked Mariann if she spoke to Bobo about this. Mariann said they did. She said she told him that she doesn't want Jay on the show. Howard asked what it is that makes Bobo call in with that. He already discussed it on the show and Bobo talked to her about it. Mariann said that he repeats himself and he doesn't retain anything. She said she's not sure why he's repeating his topic. Mariann asked why he would bring it up if she didn't hear the whole thing.
Bobo said he heard him talking good things about Jay and he didn't know it was Andy Cohen. Howard said the phone screener asked what his thoughts were on the Jay Leno comments. Howard asked Mariann if they talk about the show. Mariann said she wonders if he listens to the show. She said that she is a better Superfan than Bobo is. Bobo said he knows. Mariann was throwing out stuff about Sirius being in Toyota's and about Pandora so Howard said he'll get to that later.
Mariann said she has asked Bobo not to take her topic when he calls in. She said that he has done it to her before. She said she has to think about when he did that to her. She said she has so many topics in her head.
Howard asked if Bobo is more worried about calling in than about the show. He said it's the drive to get on the show and that's it. Mariann said they all want to get on the air. She said that Bobo isn't really listening. She said that he's listening but not really listening. Howard said she's giving him a headache. He hung up on Mariann.
Howard asked Bobo what's really going on here. He said he knew his thoughts on Jay. Bobo said he didn't know it was from Andy Cohen. Howard said he's not a real fan. Robin said no and it's ridiculous.
SiriusXM Is Now The Largest Music Entertainment Company. 02/04/19. 9:30am
Howard said SiriusXM is now the biggest music entertainment company out there. He said they just bought Pandora. He said that everyone told him he was nuts to come to satellite. He said that Pandora is the number one streaming company in the country. He said they have around 70 million listeners. He wondered if they're going to call it SiriusXMPandora. He said they reach more than 100 million people now. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said they were right and everyone else was wrong.
Howard said he heard a fact that Sirius is serving champagne in the lobby this afternoon to celebrate the Pandora purchase. Robin said they will probably serve it right after she leaves. Howard asked what time that's happening. Jason said at 2pm. Howard said that's way past their time.
Howard said Robin was supposed to show her titties at 30 million subscribers. Robin said no. She said they were supposed to do that at exactly 30 million but they flew right past that.
Howard read some of the details about how this company has become the largest music entertainment company. Howard said that they say the two companies will stay separate. He said that they will cross promote though.
Howard said he just realized something. He said when he was trying to figure out what to do with his future he met with XM. He said that he also met with Pandora and they weren't getting it either. He said now they own both of them. He said he can gloat even more. Howard said it's a good day. Robin said it's a great day.
Robin said that a lot of the nay sayers were the terrestrial radio station owners. She said they're struggling and going out of business. She said they have Howard to thank for that as well.
Howard said they have to be the most successful radio show in history. Robin said he's like Tom Brady. She said no one has don what Howard has done.
Howard said someone took out an ad about his show and how great they think it is. Howard said this was Adam Roush. He said that they took it out on the back of a magazine. Howard said they made him look like a cartoon in the picture they used. Howard read some of what Adam said about him. Howard said that would be a good thing to take out if you're into his show. Howard read some of the stuff Adam wrote about the show. Howard said it goes on and on. He naked the guy for that.
Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he saw Pete Davidson and what he's bringing home. Howard said he doesn't know what he's talking about. Apples said he's getting Kate Beckinsale. Howard said they talked about that. He said he thinks he's getting a ton of really hot ''vagina poosy.'' Apples asked who is hotter. Howard said Kate is to him because she's taller. Robin said she's not that tall. Howard said she's got to be taller than Ariana Grande. Robin said she probably is.
Howard said Pete is on a roll lately. Robin said he has that big dick energy. Howard said Fred has that too. Howard went to break after that.
- Chris ''Bagel Boss Guy'' Morgan - August 6, 2019. 02/10/20. 8:50am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Chris Morgan visited. Here's my rundown from that day:
Chris Morgan The Angry Bagel Boss Guy Visits. 08/06/19. 8:40am
After the break they played a promo for the Angry Bagel Boss Guy. They also played a fake Sarah Huckabee Sanders bit where she was on the street saying Howard Stern wants to come out of the closet. They played Robert Plant's ''In the Mood'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he was going to come back but he loves this song so much he has to listen to it. He let the song play a bit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he should tell Shuli to be careful. He said the only guys who have ever beaten him up are the short guys. Howard said Gary said his money was on the Bagel Boss guy. He said Gary saw him today and he said that he might be wrong. Howard said the guy did get his ass beat in the store.
Howard said he has the guys coming in. He said it's Bagel Boss and his manager and boxing promoter in with him. He said now he has two people in his entourage. Howard asked if Chris is calling himself Bagel Boss Guy or have they shut that down. Chris said it's a combination of both. Howard said they have Damon Feldman and Anthony Cross there too.
Howard asked Chris about how tall his parents were. Chris said that he wants them to have their peace but they are kind of short. He said his dad is 5'6'' and his mom and sister are short like he is. Howard asked where he got the idea to start video taping himself. Chris said that it had been going on for years and he wanted to have proof if they went after him. He said that the viral video was someone else recording it. Howard said now he's internationally famous.
Howard asked if Bagel Boss has told him to stop using the name. Chris said they called him and wanted to do a deal but he never got back to them. Howard asked if he had friends growing up. Chris said he had girlfriends growing up. He said some were better looking than others. Howard asked if he's 4'11'' or 5 feet. Chris said his license says 5 feet. He said that's what he goes by. He said that people want to hear 4'11'' so that's what he says.
Howard said women don't treat him well. Chris said that he had purchased a van for his cleaning company and he had to get it inspected. He said the mechanic showed him the damage to the van and it's just people treating him like crap. He said he got screwed out of a cleaning account that was a $900 a week account. He said that they screwed the guy before him too. He said they did the same thing with him.
Howard said Chris is saying that he has grievances with the world. He asked if people just think they can take advantage of him. Chris said that's what he thinks. He said he gets very paranoid about things. He said it's been that way his whole life.
Howard said he says that women fake liking him. Chris said there are women who are broke and they fake it to get things out of you. He said that he has friends who have the same problem and they're not short guys. He said women will use you. He said that he has family and friends who have been lied to just like he has.
Howard asked if Chris trusts any women like his mother. He said he trusts his mother. He said they aren't getting along right now because of this stuff. He said that they aren't talking right now. He said his mother wanted him to get rid of a bird he had and he didn't want to do that. He said he went and lived in his van. He said his parents are taking care of he bird right now though.
Howard said all of this anger toward women must come from his relationship with his parents. Chris said not at all. He said they've had issues but they've been great overall.
Howard said he was married at one point. Chris said he was but that didn't work out. He said he wasn't in therapy at the time. He said there were a lot of reasons it didn't work out. He said it just broke down.
Howard asked Chris if he has to shop for clothes in the children's section. Chris said he gets some stuff that are women's clothes. He said you can't tell though. He said that he doesn't shop in children's clothes but he will shop in women's. Howard said everything is a drag.
Chris said he saw Howard's movie and loved it. He said he loved the scene where his father yelled at him. He did an impression of that and said that he really hit him with the Hein there.
Howard asked when he had a girlfriend last. Chris said he had one in April for a short time. He said once in a while he will get a prostitute. He said that they were all nice to him. Howard asked if he has a big cock or anything. Chris said it's average.
Howard said a lot of these women must be really tall next to him. Chris said he has had some that were tall. He said that his ex-wife was just a few inches taller. He said the woman in April was a nut job. He said you have to put up with that to get laid sometimes.
Howard said he's able to control his anger and rage. He said Chris can't seem to do it. He said he's not sure what set him off in this viral video. Chris said some things happened earlier that set him off. He said that he had lost this $900 account and he went to the Bagel Boss store to get his usual. He said that the woman didn't get his order and she started smirking at him. He said he was like ''grow up'' when he saw that. He said then she walks over to the grill and she flips the eggs and she looks at him and makes this face. He said that's when he looks at her and calls her out on it. He said it's this smirking thing that he gets. He said he started out nicely and asked why she can't just cook his breakfast. He said she acts like she has no idea what he's talking about. He said one thing led to another and some strangers get in his business. He said he's had that his whole life too. He said he just blew his top. He said he'd had enough.
Howard said some guy tried to intervene and the guy was twice his size. Howard asked if he has ever tried platform shoes. Chris said he has and that raises him up like 3 inches. He said that people need to wake the fuck up. He said it's fucking retarded.
Howard asked if he has tried to talk to people about this stuff. Chris said he has told women that they're judging him on his height and he'll call them out on their small tits.
Chris said he went out recently and he was driving to the date. He said this girl was shorter than him. He said that she wasn't happy with that. He said she thought that he was going to be taller. He said he commented on her small tits because of that. He said that he still took her out after that. He said he was trying to be a gentleman. He said he didn't get any action after that. He said he didn't want it. Howard asked if he meets women on dating apps. Chris said he does. He said sometimes he doesn't tell them how tall he is.
Chris said that so many women are so shallow. Howard said it's funny that they'd get in the car and tell you how short it is. Chris said he hates being so short. He said he fucking hates it. Howard said he's not a dwarf or anything. Chris said no. He said he saw a clip of Andre the Giant and he was walking through the airport in Japan and everyone was shorter than him. He said he wishes he was born there. He said there are some really short people in Mexico too. Howard said maybe she should go to Japan.
Howard asked if he feels god has cursed him. Chris said he was angry with God for a while but then he got blessed with this. He said he made his peace with him. He said he would like a few more inches. Howard said there's a leg lengthening thing you can do. Chris said he's not going to do that. He said you have to sit in a wheelchair for a year. He said he's just done with this shit. He said it's like fuck you. He said that's what he's go to say. Howard said get the anger out. Chris said if you keep poking a lion in the zoo they're going to fight back.
Howard asked how he hooked up with this guy Anthony. He asked Anthony about how he got into this. Anthony said he has some people who are upcoming that Howard wouldn't know. He said he gets people booked all over the place. He said he books Chris on podcasts and things. Howard said he read in his notes that he got him some jobs. Anthony said he got him a job doing some charity events.
Howard asked Chris if he has ever dated anyone who is a dwarf. Chris said he hasn't but he's not saying he wouldn't. Chris said when he's around a girl who is 5'5'' he feels more comfortable. He said it's weird. He said maybe they're close.
Howard asked Anthony if he booked him in a dunk tank. Anthony said he did. Chris said that was fun actually. Howard asked if he's making money from being the Bagel Boss guy. Anthony said he's doing well.
Howard asked Damon about how he got involved. Damon said they hooked him up with Anthony and told him that he should get involved with this Bagel Boss guy.
Howard asked Chris if he's afraid he's going to get his ass beat. Chris said not at all. Howard said he's not sure he could beat up Shuli. He said neither one of them are in shape. Chris said that he used to squat and dead lift 250 pounds. He said he used to work out at a gym that Amy Fisher went to.
Howard said Damon has been involved in many fights with Tonya Harding, Danny Bonnaduce, Joey Buttafuoco, Amy Fisher, Tila Tequila and others. Damon said he's a former fighter. He said they did a lot of those fights on Howard's show. He said he was undefeated at 9-0 when he was fighting. He said he's making a movie about his life and career now. He said it's called The 16 Minute Man. Damon said Howard is actually in the movie. Howard said he can leave him out of that.
Howard asked who Chris is going to be fighting. Damon said they're going to have him fight this guy but he saw Shuli recently and said he thinks he should fight him.
Howard asked if Chris thinks he can beat Shuli. Chris said that he thinks he can. Howard said Shuli turned down the fight at first. Shuli said he did. Howard said they know this would be a big fight. Howard said Chris is at the top of his fame. Damon has the contracts with him. Shuli asked how much he will owe him after the fight.
Howard said he's not going to force Shuli into this. Chris said he should. He said be a man and just do it. Howard asked if Shuli is his choice because he's desperate. Chris said he's the perfect victim. Damon said he has offers from other celebrities but he won't say names. He mentioned Logan Paul though. Howard asked who he is. Damon said he's a viral star but he's much bigger.
Shuli said he wants to fight the people who made Chris a star. He said he thinks his 15 inches of fame are over. He said if he beats him up he's a jerk off and if he loses he's a jerk off.
Chris went off on Shuli like the Iron Sheik. Howard said that was pretty good. Chris said he knows.
Howard had the guys go back to back to compare heights. Howard said he wants to see the difference. Robin said it's not that big of a difference. Damon said it's not that far off.
Howard asked if Shuli could beat him up. Shuli said of course he could. Howard said in some strange way he thinks that if he did want to do it he'd be fascinated to watch it. Shuli said he knows he'd win. He said he's seen his training video and he's catching a football in it. Damon said it's just 3 one minute rounds. Shuli said no one wants to see them fight. He said it'll be more interesting to see Chris fight to get paid after the fight.
Howard asked how much Shuli wanted. Damon said he was saying $5,000 for the fight. Shuli said he can get that for telling jokes for an hour. He said he was looking for more. Chris said he should be a man.
Damon said that he'll give him more if they meet their numbers. He said that he can give him that plus the 5 grand. He said he loves Shuli. He said this is a great opportunity. Shuli said he's not fighting for attention that bad.
Robin asked where this is going to happen. Damon said they can do it on FightTV. He said that it'll be an internet pay per view.
Damon said they worked out this contract and it's all set. Howard said he doesn't have to do the hard sell. Shuli said if he wants him to go down to this level he's going to make some money. He said he's a comic and not a viral guy. Howard asked who the ref is going to be. Damon said they got Bam Margera. Howard said he thought he was in rehab. Damon said they'll get him after he's done with rehab.
Howard said they have to calm down and stop talking over one another. Howard took a call from a guy who said Shuli has to beat this little guy up. Chris cursed him out. Howard asked if he has had to kick anyone's ass in real life. Chris said he has and sometimes he wins and sometimes he doesn't.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that the anger is what's going to win this fight. She said she's his height and she knows. She said she is angry about other things but she's that height. Howard asked how she looks. The caller said she's married.
Howard took a call from Pocket who asked if Chris is getting laid at all. Chris said he's getting some interest. He said that some women just want to ride the wave.
Howard asked if Shuli is backing out of this. Shuli said that number that he asked for is it. He said it's 30 grand. Damon said he can't do that. He said he can only give him a back end guarantee. Shuli said he can't do that. He said he doesn't know where that money is going to come from. He said he'd have to be paid up front. Damon said he would be paid up front. Howard asked if he doesn't trust him. Shuli said he knows people who have worked with him and he's not sure he can trust him to get paid. Damon said he is willing to pay him up front.
Chris and Shuli started shit talking each other. Damon said they have to do this fight. Howard said he wants to see Chris throw some punches. Chris got up and did some blocking and then threw some punches. Howard said he was impressed. Damon said he loves Shuli and he has to do this. Shuli got up and threw some punches too. Robin said he's going to get beaten up. Chris said he looks like a drowning fish. Howard said Shuli is just goofing. He said that's not boxing.
Howard said he's not sure if this is going to happen. He took a call from Balls who said he wanted to tell Chris to get his life straight and stop being a sensitive pussy. He said just worry about his life. He said Shuli will hit him so hard his kids will be dizzy.
Damon said he'll give Shuli a guaranteed 10 grand and work with the back end through Howard Stern. Howard said he's not involved. Damon said he has a lot of interest in this. Damon said he can't do more than 10 grand. Shuli said he thinks he'd be better off with another offer. He said he can't do that. Chris told him to just step up and do it. Shuli said he has to make some money if he's doing this. He said he doesn't think it's going to happen. Damon said he has the contracts right there. Shuli said it's not going to happen. Chris told him to just sign the fucking thing.
Shuli said he had his weed dealer ask him the other day if he's going to fight the hot dog guy. He said that's how over it is for this guy. Damon said they have other people appearing in this fight. He said they can't name them yet.
Gary said that Memet said he would do the fight for 10 grand. Howard had Memet come in. Shuli said he's a pretty boy so Chris would love him. Chris said he's too fucking big for him. He said he's too stocky. He said that this guy will kill him. Anthony said he thinks he can take him. Howard said what a manager.
Howard said that fight is over. He asked if Ronnie wants to fight him. He said how about Benjy. He said no one else is coming in to do it. Howard said Benjy wants to tickle Chris. Chris said he's not into that. Benjy came in and asked if he wants to be tickled right now. Chris said put a wig on first and maybe he'll do it.
Chris said he wants someone close to his height to fight. Shuli said he has a 7 year old daughter about his height. Chris said listen 4 eyes... Shuli told him to take it down a notch.
Howard said he's thinking that he could fight JD. He said JD is a little taller than him. JD said he's not getting involved with him. Chris told him to get in the ring. He asked if he's scared. JD said he actually is.
Benjy asked if Howard would be scared of getting hurt. Howard said of course he would. He said he gets hurt walking. Damon said he and Shuli have to talk. Howard said he'll handle this. He asked Shuli if there's any way he would fight him for 10 grand plus the back end. Shuli said no fucking way. Damon said that it could end up being 100 grand. Shuli said there is no way that's going to happen. Damon said that Howard needs a new boxing match. He said this is going to be great. Shuli said he's not interested.
Shuli said he'll do it for $30,000 up front. Damon raised it to $20,000. Benjy said he'll snap that up. Damon said either one of them. He said he thinks that Shuli would be the best match u. He said it would be September 7th at the Showboat in Atlantic City. He said that they're going to find someone for Bagel Boss to fight. He said he has to announce the opponent in the next 5 days. Howard said he's trying to help him out here.
Howard said he wants to solve one problem at a time. He said they have 50 problems here. He said he's not sure what's going on. Damon said he has to get someone to fight him. Howard said he's promoting a fight that they don't have lined up. Howard said he's trying to get Shuli to do it but he's not going to do it for that money.
Howard said there is $20,000 on the table right now. He said he would watch this fight with Shuli and Chris. He said he sees Chris over there and he knows Shuli. He said seeing him lose would be hysterical. He said if he wins, great.
Shuli said if he does this he wants the 20 grand up front. Howard asked Damon if he can do that. Damon said he can get it up front. Damon said he has a partner who can get him the money. Howard said go back to his partners and discuss the finances. He said they want a fight. Damon said they have to announce it this week. Shuli said that he will sign this week if he gets the money.
Howard said Chris Wilding is wiling to box him too. He said that he's of short stature too. Howard had Chris come in. Chris said he'll knock him out for free if he wants to use the F-word for gay people. Chris said that this is an actual gay person in his face. Chris Morgan said he has gay people in his family. He said he says things irrational when he's angry. Chris and Chris went at each other throwing insults at each other. Morgan told Wilding that the 1980s called and want their hair cut back. Wilding asked if he shaves his balls like he shaves his head. He asked to see how big it is. Morgan said he's not going to do that. Morgan said he says things when he's angry. He said he's sorry for doing that.
Wilding said that Morgan has to get over the problems he's had in his life and stop using the F-word for gay people. The two of them were arguing with each other and yelling at each other. They were yelling over each other so it was hard to hear what they were saying.
Howard said he's thinking there's a fight there. Damon asked what he should do. Shuli said he's voting for Wilding. Howard said it would be Chris vs. Chris. Damon said how about they let it sink in today. He said they can talk. Howard asked Anthony what he thinks. Anthony said this would be interesting too. Damon said that they can get in touch with him on social media and let him know who they should have fight. Morgan said that he says things in anger and he has nothing against gay men. He said as long as they don't hit on him he's fine. He said he'll fight this guy Wilding though. Damon asked if he would do a match. Wilding said he's a nobody and this is beneath him. He said he's a nobody and this guy is beneath him.
Howard said it sounds like there is no fight here. Morgan told Wilding to step up. Howard said it sounds like no one wants to fight. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet and said if he beats him he can peg him in the ass.
Howard said Shuli is not taking the fight and Chris Wilding isn't taking it. He gave Damon some plugs for this fight and said you can get tickets at WebTix.net. Howard asked Damon who is playing him in the movie. Damon said they're talking to Frank Stallone about playing his father in the movie. He said the script is written and they're looking for people to come on board. Howard said he's not sure what to do with this information. Howard wrapped up and thanked Chris Morgan for coming in. They went to break a short time later.
- Newscaster Coughing Clips - January 23, 2019. 02/10/20. 9:55am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played some newscaster screw ups. Here's my rundown from that day:
Live News Screw Ups And More Phone Calls. 01/23/19. 9:20am
After the break Howard came right back and said he is going to play Pig Island but he wants to do some other catching up. He said he has some live news fuck ups. He said they're coughing fits. He said they love to hear this stuff. Howard said this is a HLN news anchor who had a coughing fit. He played the clip and the woman started coughing and wasn't able to stop. They just cut away from her. Howard said he loves that and he's not sure why. Howard said if you cough just go with it. Robin said she has had hiccups on the air. She said if she doesn't hydrate enough she will cough. She said she has to take water with her to the theater because it's too dry in there.
Howard said this is another news anchor coughing. Howard played that one and the woman started coughing so bad that another anchor had to take over for her.
Howard said this was Tucker Carlson choking on something when he was introducing a guest. Howard played that clip and Tucker had something stuck in his throat. Howard said it's probably one of Trump's pubes. Tucker kept going and his guest told him to take a drink and it will pass.
Howard was doing an impression of that like he was wrestler Goldust. Fred played some Goldust clips too.
Howard said a guest on FOX news had a coughing attack while talking about the migration caravan. He played that clip and the woman started to cough and kept trying to speak. She drank some water and tried to keep going but she lost her voice. They had to cut away from her. Howard said he would have boiled her microphone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to say that he was watching the segment with Richard talking about his sports thing. He said he was so frustrated because his close ups were horrible. He said his teeth are so yellow. He asked them to never have another close up again. Howard said you've got it. Robin asked how close they can get. The caller said not enough to see his teeth and what's going on in his gums. Howard said they're putting a new camera in that will shoot from space.
Howard said Richard will be doing a bit where he tastes wine with his asshole. He said he can tell the difference between red and white. Howard said they will zoom in close on his ass when they do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a chance to see Metallica last night and they tore the house down. He said they came out at 8:30 and walked off at 11:15. Howard said he knows exactly how he feels. He said he has been to two or three Metallica shows. He said he ends up being more blown away each time. He said one time they were doing a show with a 70 piece orchestra. He said that James Hetfield is a manly dude. He said he comes out and that's what every man should look like. He said he could have been someone really tough. He said that he sings in a really masculine way. He said he holds the guitar in a masculine way. He said he's everything Brent wants to be. He said the bass player is something else too. He said he looks like a wild beast.
Howard said he saw them at the Apollo and they were bad ass there. He said it's so masculine. Howard played some of their live stuff from their studio. Howard asked what man wouldn't want to go see that. He said they're unbelievable. Howard said you want to go in the woods nude and go around with your bow and arrow. He said he's not sure if they're the greatest but they're right up there. He said you have to go see them do at least one live performance in your life.
Howard said he thinks he took Ralph to that concert with the orchestra. He had Ralph on the phone. Howard said he got laid that night. He said he went out and fucked. He said that he had to get a hold of someone after that show. He said it was crazy. He said it was him, Ralph and Richie. He said they were taking their pants off there. Ralph said he thinks they went out to a club after and had a party. He said you really did get charged up. He said it was in the round and they were in between the band and the audience. He said it was fucking amazing. Ralph said they don't stop playing. He said it's just fucking crazy.
Howard said his friend started taking his pants off and mooning the audience. He said it's not gay if you do that at a Metallica show. He said you can blow a guy there and it's not gay. He said it's insane there. Fred played another Metallica song and some blow job gagging clips over it. Howard said he loves those guys. He said Ralph pulled his eyes out and threw them on stage. Ralph said that was a once in a lifetime thing. Howard said it really was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he will do his Underdog lady for no reason at all. Howard said he as to get to part two of that Embedded. The caller said that they have announced a prequel to The Sopranos and it's going to have James Gandolfini's son playing a young Tony Soprano. Howard said that seems crazy to him. He said that his son has a resemblance to him but what are the chances that he could be a great actor like his dad. Howard said it seems crazy to him. Robin said they probably wouldn't take that franchise and dumb it down. Howard said David Chase wrote it. He said that it sounds nutty to him but maybe the kid can act. He said it's like John Gambling giving his son the radio show. Or Franklin Graham taking over for his tent show fucking preacher dad. Robin said even that Pat Robertson has a son trying to look like his dad. He said he drolls on just like his dad too.
The caller asked where that show could end up. Howard said he's not sure. He said it's crazy that Netflix is the place to do shows like that now. He said it used to be HBO.
Howard had Ralph on the phone to talk about the Sopranos thing. Ralph said they announced this a while ago. He said it's going to be centered around the Newark riots and it should be great. He said it's going to be a movie and not a franchise. He said you don't know how much Tony will be in it. He said it's going to be from that time but it's about them growing up. He said it's going to be like the flashbacks in The Sopranos. Howard said it is about Tony Soprano growing up. Ralph said it's not. He said it's a time in Newark when the riots were going on. It's more about the father and his friends.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ralph is right about what the movie will be about. He said it's not about Tony but more about his father. He said Michael is also in The Deuce and he's good in that.
The caller also asked Ralph what his logic is for not watching the Super Bowl. Ralph told him his reason and said he will not be watching the game. Howard said enough with this. He said he has to go.
the caller asked if Howard is excited about the Deadwood movie. Howard said not at all. He said no one cares about Deadwood. Robin said she does but she doesn't care about the movie. Howard said he's boycotting that. Howard went to break after that.
- Staff Fighting - March 13, 2019. 02/10/20. 10:25am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where the staff talked about fights that were going on. Here's my rundown from that day:
Panel: Staff Fights And Brent's Swinging. 03/13/19. 9:30am
After the break Howard came right back and said they had a lot of fun in the last segment. He said they're going to go through the computer and clear out stuff he hasn't gotten to. He mentioned the guys who were in there.
Ronnie said Shuli was out in the hall fighting yesterday. He said that he as getting steamed up in the glasses. He said he was so pissed that Brent took it so serious. Shuli said everyone gets their turn there. He said he wasn't getting personal. Howard said Brent was upset he called him ugly. Shuli said he really didn't call him ugly. He said he called him creepy. He said there's a difference there.
Howard said Brent is very sensitive. Shuli said he apologized to him for that. He said he wasn't trying to hurt him. He said he asked him why he'd get upset with him since he's not John Stamos. He said things got really quiet in the office.
Howard said JD got pissed at Jason yesterday too. JD said he was criticizing work he's done so yeah. Howard said he was the one saying he hasn't really directed anything. Jason came in and said he didn't mock the work he did. He said he just hasn't done any work. JD said goodbye to him. Howard said Ronnie hates Jason now too. Ronnie said ''Now?'' Howard said JD and Ronnie are fighting with Jason. Ronnie said Jason just has a way about him. He said he'll ask you a question in a way. He said that he was out in the hall talking about something and Jason came over asking ''What was that about?'' Jason said he heard him screaming over there so he came over to ask what was going on. Ronnie said he was talking to someone else. Howard asked why he's talking so much.
Gary said there were donuts out one day and Jason asked what they were. He said Ronnie asked him what the fuck he cares about. Howard said he heard about this. He said Ronnie is in the wrong about this. He said when there's food in the hall Ronnie should know who put it there. Gary said this was a different thing.
Jason said this was a big tall box and Ronnie had his hands in there. He said he didn't know what he was doing. Ronnie said he had a knife in his hand and he was cutting it. He said someone brought in these Cronuts which are like donuts. He said he didn't come out with a plate and take the whole thing. He said he took a knife to cut a piece off to see how it was. He said Jason asked what he was doing. He said he was just cutting that thing. He said he looked at him like he was committing a murder.
Howard said he heard Ronnie was all irate over this. He said he was asked where it came from and he didn't know. Ronnie said he didn't but he told them to throw it out. Ronnie said they were all eating it already. Gary said someone opened the box of candy to make it look like it had been vetted. Jason said that he asked Ronnie if he knew where they came from. Ronnie said there was no sign. Jason said he wanted to thank whoever did. Ronnie said he knew who left the donuts. Ronnie said he knew where the donuts came from. He said the candy is a different story.
Gary said no on knew where the candy came from. Ronnie said it was there already. Howard said if he doesn't know where it came from then throw it out. Ronnie said it was there already. Jason said Gary ate a piece of rotting chocolate the other day. Gary said he assumes that it's been vetted. Jason said Ronnie is responsible for vetting all of that stuff. Ronnie said he didn't know where the candy came from. He said he did with the donuts.
Howard said there's a lot going on out there. He said there were a lot of fights going on. He said it's wild. Jason said he thinks that JD is upset with him because he has wasted his opportunities to direct. He said he thinks he's really mad at himself. JD said this is a guy who thinks he's his friend. He said he doesn't hang out with him anymore and hasn't for years.
Gary asked if JD's wedding was tomorrow would he invite everyone but Jason. JD said that's one of the reasons he didn't invite anyone. He said he knew it would turn into a bit. Ronnie asked what happened with him and Jon then. JD said it was just family.
Howard said in a lot of ways Jason takes the brunt of anger there. He said that Gary was going to have people over to watch a game and he stopped it because of Jason. Gary said he reported on everything there at the party. He said he had to stop it.
Gary said he dropped a grand on that day and he had all of this stuff there and he was cleaning up and realized they were just going to fuck with him so he canceled it.
Robin said it sounds like JD hates Jason. JD said he's fine outside of work but not at work. He said he's not comfortable going out with him outside because he'll bring it back to work. JD said it's like Jason has to prove every day that he's the best worker.
Jon said that JD works so hard on the show. He said that he doesn't have the time to direct the stuff he wants to. JD said there is truth in both of what they're saying. He said he doesn't want to talk about this stuff ever again. Howard said he wanted to be the director for the book promotion. He said that he hasn't done anything like that before so he can't have him do it. Ronnie said he did direct the film about him for the movie festival.
Shuli said he doesn't trust Jason at all. He said he hasn't been on his Xbox friend list for 5 years after he reported on him during this paternity leave.
Ronnie asked if he wants to talk about the Brent thing they talked about in the car yesterday. Howard said they were talking about Brent swinging. Ronnie said he thinks Brent is making a mistake. He said bringing another guy into it isn't right. He said the guy is probably going to have a big cock and she's going to want to leave Brent. Ronnie said Brent thinks he has it all under control. Howard said they were talking to Brent about the noises she makes and Brent said he has it under control. Howard said Ronnie said he's not sure how he has it under control. Howard said he thinks Ronnie is right that he's making a mistake.
Brent came in and said he thinks he's fine. Howard said he must have gotten jealous of the other thing he had. Brent said he can't talk about that on the air. Gary asked if she says she's never been fucked like that before is that going to be okay with him. Brent said yes. Ronnie asked how he thinks that's going to be okay. He asked why he'd want to put himself out there with that. Howard said he loves her, right? Brent said of course. He said if she does fall for someone else there's nothing he can do about that. Ronnie said he can do something.
Howard said Brent is going to be fucking this black chick and what if it's different. Ronnie said what if her pussy is really tight. Howard said take it easy over there. He said lets say that he develops feelings for that black woman. Brent said he won't. He said he's had these experiences. He said he needs somewhere fun to stick it. He said they don't understand that. Ronnie said he thinks he has it under control and he doesn't. Brent said that being non monogamous is a choice that people make.
Howard said he's so in love with his wife he can't imagine seeing someone else fuck her in front of him. Brent said that's fine but they're on their own adventure. Ronnie asked if she's on that adventure too. Brent said she is.
Brent said he talked to his wife last night and she thinks that Shuli is brow beating her. Shuli said he didn't even bring her up. Brent said he did too. He said go back and listen.
Shuli said he got email from a guy who said the swinging thing is easy and Brent is making a bigger deal out of it. Brent said he has to shut the fuck up and let him talk. Brent said that they have a different thing going on. He said he was accusing him of things yesterday that weren't true. Brent said he has people telling him that this is the way it goes for some people. He told Shuli to stop acting like an expert.
Howard said if his wife is getting fucked so hard and good he thinks he has that under control. Shuli said he doesn't even have himself under control. Brent said he can't do anything about it anyway. He said he does this because he's turned on by it. Robin said she thinks Brent has things to work out and he should go back to therapy.
Ronnie asked why he needs a dick involved. He said it should just be girls. Howard said Brent wants to see his wife fucking another dude so that's why he's doing it. Chris asked why it's black women. Brent said he's attracted to black women. He said his wife doesn't have a preference. Brent said he's really attracted to black women.
Ronnie said there's no way that Stephanie is going to be with another guy. He said he's not going to watch that going on. He said he's not sure why Brent wants to see that.
Howard asked if it always has to be an even swap. He asked if a guy can come in and fuck his wife if he doesn't have a wife. Brent said yes. He said they were talking to a girl last night actually. He said he got a lot of messages last night about this.
Ronnie said they also talked about Brent's tattoos in the car. He said they were trying to figure out why you can't fuck when you have a new tattoo. Brent said you can't fuck when you have an open wound. He said you have to be careful with germs. He said it can get infected.
Howard said maybe it's a thing in Tampa. Brent said it is a thing in Tampa. He said Gary knows about that. Gary asked what he's talking about. Brent said they were at the Dollhouse and Gary turned to him saying he had no idea what was going on there. Gary said that his wife did ask where the fuck they were one night.
Howard said Gary is pretty wild. He watched a woman shit out his cum. Brent said he liked the story about Gary banging a girl who threw up and then went back to fucking her.
Howard said a lot of questions came up about Brent in the car. He said they were asking the appropriate questions. Howard said he heard there are drivers who don't talk at all.
Howard said the thing he doesn't get is why they're waiting weeks to bang this couple. Brent said he cant talk about exactly why. He said they have to wait though. Shuli said that he's asking the same question that the other guys are asking and Brent gets upset with him. Brent said it's the intent. He said that he's acting like an asshole. Brent said they decided going out that night that nothing was going to happen. He said they're getting to know each other. Robin said they don't know because they're not in the swinging community.
Jon said that it sounds like they're developing a relationship and that's what's throwing them off. Brent said they're getting to know each other so they're friends.
Howard said Chris is a friend of Brent and Katelyn's. He asked Chris if this is dangerous for them. Chris said it's not for him. He said he was with his ex and the idea of him being with someone else was bad. He broke up with him because of it. Howard asked if he thinks this could go wrong with Brent. Chris said he thought it could and he thinks there are things they have to work out. He said there is a sensitivity there.
Howard said he would be careful. He said he's saying this with peace and love. Brent said he's very attached to her. Chris said she's a wonderful woman. He said she's very good to him. He said he can go to her when Ralph isn't available. He said he hopes they can work it out.
Howard said he's on the phone with Ralph like 3 hours a night. He asked if Ralph is failing for him. Chris said that it got deep last night. Howard said he can talk to women for 3 hours a night but not a dude. He asked if there's something there. Chris said it's not romantic. He said Andy Cohen sent him a private message. He said he and Ralph were trying to come up with the response back to Andy. He said Ralph thinks he should invite Andy out with his friends. He said he doesn't have any friends though. He said that he and The Lump and the Priest and Boy guy are going out to a pub so do you want to come. Chris said that Ralph might want to go out. Gary said he might be trying to steal Andy from him.
Howard asked Chris if he's falling in love with Ralph. Chris said he's a great friend. He said a lot of the conversation is about him. He said that's nice about that. Gary said that will change if he dates Ralph. Chris said he finds Ralph very interesting.
Howard said he has Hard Core Brent on the phone. He said he's in Tampa swinging right now. Howard took the call and fake Brent was talking about the swinging thing and had his music playing behind him.
Panel: Media Mishaps. 03/13/19. 10:00am
Howard said they have run out of time. He asked Gary what he was going to do. Gary said he was going to do Media Mishaps. He said that there was a reporter who had trouble saying ''Irregularities.'' Howard played a clip and the news anchor said that word but had a lot of trouble getting it out so she skipped the word.
Howard asked what else Gary has. Gary said there was a tweet that a reporter read about having ''mass debates'' and the guy didn't get that it was a ''masturbating'' joke. The other reporter told him not to repeat it so she did it instead. Ronnie said what a fucking moron that guy was.
Gary said that this woman, Amy Freeze, said the word ''cunt'' accidentally while talking about pet hair cuts. She's a weather woman. Ronnie said he knows her. He said she tries to be sexy. He said she has these big knees so she must be a runner. He said she's kind of hot but her dresses should come down below her knees. He said they're giant knees. He said she has a good ass and big tits too. He said she has these big knees he doesn't like. He said she talks about running a lot. Howard said Ronnie says he can make her look better. Ronnie said if she calls him he'll tell her what to wear. Howard played the clip of Amy saying ''post cut'' and accidentally saying ''post cunt'' accidentally.
Howard said Benjy claims he dated her. Gary said they met on a dating site. Howard had Benjy come in to talk about that. Benjy said they went on a date. He said it was just one date. Howard asked if she didn't like him. Benjy said they went out to dinner and talked. He said he helped her move too. Howard said she figured out how to hire a guy to move her instead of paying someone to do it. Benjy said he kept volunteering for that stuff.
Howard asked if he knew who she was. Benjy said this was over a year and a half ago. He said he was shocked that she was famous. He said they went out to an ABC party together too. Chris said ''Here's my mover...'' as if he were introducing him. Benjy said he helped her move and took apart her beds and stuff like that. Howard asked if she said the word cunt. Benjy said what messed it up was that he complained about sleep. He said she works like 7 days a week and she has 5 adopted kids. He said she does all of this stuff and she looked like she was going to throw up when he complained about sleep. Howard said he hates when he complains about sleep. He said he's told him to just close his eyes and he'll sleep.
Gary said Amy sent him a video of herself installing a toilet. Benjy said she did but it wasn't anything sexual. He said he made a joke about hurricane Benjy last year. He said he didn't hear back. He said he ran into her at a funeral recently. He said they said hi but that's it.
Benjy said the pictures he uses on the dating apps are good ones. He said he tells the women that he's actually fat but he didn't tell her that. Richard asked if he got really sweaty around her. Benjy said he probably did. He said she was very nice though.
Howard said that was a big score for Benjy. Benjy said there was no score there. He said he didn't even get a kiss. Howard replayed the clip of her saying ''post cunt.''
Benjy said that there are a lot of famous people on these dating apps. Howard said Robin should try them. Robin said yeah and she'll get Benjy.
Howard said he has to take a break. Gary said he has one more. He said this guy was talking about the Phillies and he said this player was being suspended without pee instead of pay. Howard quickly played that and wrapped up the segment. Howard said goodbye to everyone and went to break a short time later.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.