- Winter Vacation Replays - Day 5. 02/17/17. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: There were no opening bits or songs today.
Howard is off for a winter vacation this week. Here's what they played today:
- Pranking Steve From Florida - May 18, 2016. 02/17/17. 7:00am
First up on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where they pranked Bobo (Steve from Florida). Here's my rundown from that day:
Pranking Bobo. 05/18/16. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking about how they're going to do something really funny to start the show. Howard said Bobo called in with a question this morning and they have him talking to Sal right now. Howard said they're keeping him busy. Howard said Bobo was talking to Shuli the other day and he said he can't ask good questions. He said Shuli came up with a great one for Bobo but he told him if he tells him he wrote it for him Howard will fire him.
Howard said this is Bobo and Shuli talking the other day. He played a clip and Shuli told Bobo he overheard Howard saying no one ever asks him about art. Bobo thanked him for the help. Shuli told Bobo what to ask about a certain artist and the painting he did.
Howard said that what's going to happen is that he'll pick up on Bobo and he'll ask the question and then he'll tell him it's the shittiest one ever and he's going to find out who gave it to him. He said he thinks Bobo will throw Shuli under the bus. Robin said he has to threaten to ban him from the show. Howard asked Fred if he thinks he'll spill the beans. Fred said he will but it'll take a couple of tries. Benjy said he thinks he won't want to give Shuli's name. He said he'll give it but not say Shuli's name. Howard said he'll threaten to ban him for the summer. Benjy said he thinks he'll give Shuli's name.
Howard said he's going to get Bobo on soon. Howard said they'll take some calls this morning. Howard said something is up with the phones. He said he doesn't see the caller. Howard had a clip of Jeff the Drunk announcing who is on the show today. The have Andy Samberg coming in.
Howard said that he's a little bit pissed. He said Andy has a new movie out and he wanted to watch it. Howard said the studios have a thing set up so they can stop piracy. He said he was watching the movie and he was about 25 minutes in. He said he's laughing hysterically. He said he's totally digging it but then this Pix box craps out and he can't finish watching the movie.
Howard said he has to take some calls. He took a call from Bobo and told him that he's getting email from him about his questions sucking. Robin said he beat Jeff the Drunk as most hated the other day. Bobo said he felt pretty bad about that. He said he shows Howard respect when he calls and he doesn't smoke pot and doesn't give out phone numbers like Jeff does.
Howard asked Bobo if he has any questions today. Bobo asked if Howard is still painting and ran down some of the stuff that Shuli fed him the other day. Howard said he has to tell him something. Howard said that's a pretty good question. He asked why it strikes him as something that someone else wrote for him. Howard said there is no way he came up with that. He asked about Paul Sazon and Rembrandt. Bobo said his mother was a painter so he knows. Bobo said Vincent Van Gough came up too and Bobo gave him some facts about him. Howard said he never said on the air that he likes Sazon. He said someone else had to come up with that.
Howard asked Bobo if he wrote that question. Bobo said he writes them all but he has some help sometimes. Howard said this show is about honesty. Howard said he feels he's being dishonest. Howard said it's probably the greatest one he's ever asked and this is out of sync with what he asks. Howard said Bobo knows it. Robin asked if he looked for help. Bobo said he got seasoned a little bit. Howard asked what he's talking about. Bobo said someone helps him out a little bit. He said it's the fans. Howard said that has to be someone on the inside because no one knows about his love of Sazon except someone who works there. Howard said Bobo is lying to him again. He said he promised him he wouldn't lie to him again.
Howard told Bobo that he has to tell him the truth. Bobo said he can't lie to him. He said he had to come up with a good question. Howard said his last couple were awful and he understands the pressure. Howard said he feels like he's not telling him the truth. Howard said his truth meter is going off. Howard said someone is feeding Bobo information. Howard told him to come clean. Howard asked Bobo what's going on. Bobo said it's Sal. Howard said he's going to fire Sal over this. Sal came in and said he didn't give him anything. Howard said Sal is fired. Sal asked how fucking dare Bobo do that to him. Howard told Sal to pack his shit and get out.
Howard said he has to let Sal go. He said he loves him and he will give him a recommendation but he can't trust him. Sal said Bobo is lying. He said he had better come clean. Howard said Bobo would never lie to him. Bobo told Sal not to lie to him. Bobo sighed and said they put him in such a ''cragmire'' (quagmire) there. Bobo said he was at an all time low. Bobo said he can't do that to Sal. Sal said he's a low life piece of shit.
Howard asked Sal if he gave Bobo that question. Sal said he didn't. Howard asked Bobo if he wasn't being honest. Bobo said he has to be truthful. He said it wasn't Sal. Howard asked who it was. Bobo said this is the hardest ever. Bobo said he had a temporary lapse in his judgment. He said he always crafts his own. Howard told him to just give it to him so he can handle this.
Howard said he has to ban Bobo if he doesn't give up the information. Bobo said he has to go to church if he gives this up. He said he doesn't lie. He said he goes to church and prays all the time. Howard said he's a little more important than church. Robin asked how he lied about Sal then. Howard said he has to ban Bobo for the summer. He said if he would be honest with him he wouldn't have to do this. Howard had Fred prepare to lock in the ban. Howard said he'll count down to 1 and ban Bobo. Howard went from 5 to 1 and then Bobo broke. Bobo asked if they can try to guess who it was. Howard said no. Bobo said it's hard to give this guy up. He asked Howard to go easy on him. He said he's sorry but he has to give up his name. He said it was Shuli. Howard said he knew it.
Howard said he's glad Bobo gave it up. He said he almost fired Sal. Howard told Shuli to get in there because he has to fire him. Shuli came in all down. Howard said he knew it was Shuli. Shuli said Bobo was stressing out and he was trying to help. Howard said you can't do that and give that information to him. Shuli said he doesn't do this for anyone. Sal said he almost got fired because of Shuli. He said Shuli is a spineless jellyfish.
Howard said he bets that Shuli told Bobo not to tell him. Bobo said he thought it would be a good question. Bobo said he doesn't remember him telling him not to tell Howard. Howard asked Shuli where he's going to work now. He said he's a broken down comic. Howard thanked Bobo for doing this. He said he gave him a shot on radio when he was pushing people around in a wheelchair at the airport. Howard said he has to fire him. Bobo said he has children. Howard said that's too bad.
Howard asked Shuli how long he's been writing for Bobo. Bobo said he doesn't love the emails the get and he needed some help. Bobo was freaking out so they told him to calm down.
Howard broke the news to Bobo that they told Shuli to call him the other day. Howard said he and Robin had a bet going about giving up Shuli. Howard said he gave him up just like they thought he would. Shuli said it was amazing that he gave up Sal like that. Shuli said it didn't bother him when he threw him under the bus. Howard said he never should have given up Shuli. Bobo said he can't lie to Howard. Sal said he did lie to him. Howard said it was interesting that he protected Shuli and gave up Sal. Bobo said he likes both of them. Sal said his kids were about to be out on the street. Howard said they just pranked Bobo. He said they have to work out goofs to make him interesting. Howard said they put the whole organization into it to make him interesting.
Shuli said he's surprised he gave him up. He said he really didn't think he would. Bobo said that he had Howard saying that he can't lie to him and he had to give it up. Howard said he loved that he gave Sal up. Howard said this is like what goes on in court every day. Howard said this is why innocent people go to prison. Shuli said they can try it with someone else in a few months. He said it was an interesting social experiment.
Howard asked why Shuli's family was more important than Sal's was. Bobo said it was tough. He said Shuli talks to him more. He said Sal was on his mind too though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Bobo does this on purpose just to use the word quagmire. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bobo is showing that he's just dumb. Howard took another call from a guy who said Bobo has to go. He said this toupee wearing douche bag has to go. Howard played a song parody about Bobo after that.
Howard said he had a few new phrases that he used today. Howard played another song parody about him and took a call from a woman who asked whose dick she has to suck to keep Bobo off the air. Howard said it's either his or Fred's. The caller said Bobo lied to him the whole time so he should be banned. Howard said he did come clean. Bobo said it was in under 5 minutes. Howard said he threw Sal and Shuli under the bus. Howard played another song parody about Bobo's calls.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they did the Maury Povich prank with Sal. He said he almost threw up thinking Shuli was gone. He said they got him good. Howard said he didn't hear the setup then. Howard said they all knew what was going on but Sal didn't know Bobo was going to blame him.
Howard said it was a great call. Sal said he's great at being a lying asshole. He said he's found his niche. Howard played another song parody about Bobo's awful calls. They went to break after that.
- Hit 'Em With The Hein - June 21, 2016. 02/17/17. 7:30am
Next up on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about the ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' for the first time. Here's my rundown from that day:
More Benjy, Phone Calls And Jon Hein's Suppressed Anger. 06/21/16. 7:35am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who said Benjy is basing his whole PETA thing on a South Park episode. He said around season 8 they got into that. Howard said He doesn't want to get into it again. Benjy said He has a NY Times article about it. Howard said He is taking him down a rabbit hole. He said this show is so important to him and no one gives a fuck about it. Howard said what Benjy is basing his theory on is something Gary discovered was a very small comment. Gary came in and said it's a very old article where the woman from PETA said that if a woman rides on a horse and gets off on it then it's not really abuse. He said right after that she clarified saying that any type of thing to an animal is abuse. Benjy said He called people. Howard said they called PETA and got an answer. Benjy said they changed their thing on it. He said they don't take an official stance on the issue.
Howard said Benjy likes to get into these arguments on the air but the audience doesn't care. Howard said he's been in radio for 40 years and He doesn't think this is just kooky. Benjy said that's his right but intellectually Howard just shuts it down when he's not interested in it. Howard said He doesn't even know what to say. Robin said there is nothing to say. They have gotten to the end of this. Howard said they nipped it in the bud.
Howard said they work with people closely and they'll see how hard it is to do that when they talk to Steven Tyler. Howard said He has to get along with Benjy because He has talent. Howard said you have to put up with his outbursts.
Fred said Benjy is so upset that he's not eating. He said He has a luxurious fruit salad and eggs. Howard said Benjy lost weight but he's gained it back. Benjy said He starts stuffing with food and it's hard to stop. He said He has gained some back.
Howard said He had to move up a size in his pants. He said He had a lot of clothes tailored when He lost weight but now he's gained 10 pounds and He has to cut down again. Howard said He should have gained a lot of weight putting on muscle. He said that He could look like The Rock. He said He should have done steroids instead of LSD. Howard said instead it's too hard to pack on muscle so He has to get skinny like a chick. Howard said He watches TV obsessively. Howard said Joe Walsh was skinnier than him when He was young but now he's bulked up. Howard said it's too late for him to fill out so He has to diet down to look like Skeletor. Howard said all of his fat goes to his belly. Howard said He has a muffin top. He said all of his shirts are too tight now. Howard said He will be thinner. He knows it's not a good look for a dude. Howard said He has to be rock star thin.
Howard said He has to get back into the gym and get back to working out. He said He has heart palpitations after doing that though. Robin said He should get that checked. Howard said He doesn't care. He said He has to get thin.
Howard asked Benjy what he's eating. Benjy said it's like 2 eggs and some fruit. He said it's like 160 calories of eggs and 200 of fruit. Benjy said it's probably more like 190 for the fruit. He said He just stuffs a lot of food. He said He will eat a lot of whatever He has around. He said last night He had noodles and He just wants to keep stuffing once He starts. He said He thinks he's already blown the day so He might as well keep going. Howard said there's a moment of reality for Benjy. Benjy said he's been going to Overeaters Anonymous. He said they say he's a good person and they like him there.
Howard said there must be some real fatsos there. Benjy said it's anorexic people too. Howard asked how often He goes. Benjy said He went every day a week ago. He said he's just trying to go once a week now. Howard said maybe He should go to Weight Watchers. Benjy said He has no problem with them. Howard said Oprah owns a percentage of that. He said she's still fat. Robin said she lost 30 pounds and she eats bread every day. Howard said JD said yesterday that He wants to fuck Oprah. Robin said He did say He likes her and found her attractive. Howard said JD loves big ass. Howard said they took a picture of a woman with a big ass and put Jon Hein's face on it. He said it's really funny. Howard said you should make it your screen saver.
Howard said Jason did the work on it and did a great job. Jason said He went through all of Jon's pictures and found one that looked like He was turning around. Jason said He loves making fun of Jon. He said He likes to see the quiet anger He has. He said Jon acts like it doesn't bother him but it drives him crazy. Gary said Jon is pretending not to look at Jason right now. Howard said Jon is the guy who will blow up one day. Gary said if He does Jason will be the first one He goes off on. Jason said Jon is angered by everything but He says nothing bothers him.
Howard said Jon has another job working on a TV show where He yells at another guy about sports. Howard said that's why Jon is growing a beard. He said He has some stupid thing going on where He won't shave until something happens. Gary explained it to Howard. Howard said He asked Jon what it's like growing a beard and Jon just said ''It's okay.'' He said that's all He got out of him. Howard said it's hard to get emotion out of the guy. Jason said Jon is staring at his computer pretending not to listen. He said his shoulders get so tense that it's funny.
Howard said Gary has a picture of Jon and his family on his desk. Howard asked Jon if He has one of Gary on his desk. Jon said He doesn't. Howard said He thinks Gary is a fucking weirdo. Howard said that's weird. Jon said He thinks Gary likes the picture of his family and He just happens to be in it. Gary said it was an event that made him happy to be at. Jon said he's flattered by it.
Howard asked Jon about the beard bit. Jon explained why he's growing it. It's about Ryan Fitzpatrick and waiting for him to sign. He said it may not happen until July so He may be stuck with the beard until then. Howard said it's a good mountain man look for Jon. He said He doesn't look like a lesbian now.
Howard read a note about how Jon has a PA get his Chick-Fil-A food but they're not allowed to get anyone else's food at the same time.
Howard asked if Jon doesn't like Jason. Jon said He doesn't like people who get off on making other people miserable. Jon said Jason will say He doesn't know how loud he's being when He knows exactly how loud he's being. Robin asked if this has to do with fantasy football. Jon said not at all. Howard said He heard that Jason yells out ''Hit him with the Hein'' when he's leaving work. Jon said that's something Nick Ruckert came up with. Jason came in and said that it angered Jon when Nick started saying it. Jason said He started. Gary said Jason does it in a way where He says ''Hit 'em with the HEEEEEEIN!'' Jason said Jon will just stand there until it's over. Jon said it's all the time now. He said that's what He hears all the time.
Howard asked what the rest of the office thinks. Gary said it's hard to tell. Howard asked if Jon wants to go off on Jason. Jon said that he'd love to punch him in the face sometimes. Jason said they love each other. Jon said that's all just part of the game back there.
Sal's Pee Dream. 06/21/16. 8:00am
Howard said Sal is all a part of this. He said Sal has some weird thing going on. He went to Gary and said He had to talk to him. Gary said Sal came to him and said He had a dream about Ross who works there. Sal told him that He was at the urinal and Ross told him to get out of the way. He didn't move but Ross put his hand in front of his pee stream and the urine bounced into his face and then Ross walked out. Howard said Sal hates Ross. Gary said they have had issues in the past. Howard said that Sal was jealous of Ross being his friend. Gary said Sal is dreaming about Ross pissing in his face.
Howard read some notes about dreaming about urine and how it means your life is going out of control in some way. Howard said it can mean that you're married to an unsuitable person. Howard said He doesn't understand dream therapy. Howard said it can also mean that you feel the emotional burden of this person. Howard said it can also mean that it's a lack of feeling self worth. Sal said that part may be number 1. Sal said He thinks that Ross was more a part of the dream than the pee. Howard said he's blocking his urine. Sal said He peed on himself. Howard said that's because He hates himself. Robin said she doesn't think Sal likes Ross. Sal said they actually get along now. He said He has no problem with him at all. Robin said maybe unconsciously He does. Robin said maybe it's about money. Sal said that could be it.
Howard said He thinks Sal has a lot of shit on his brain that He won't talk about. Sal said He doesn't really. Howard said He has that Jesus ring. Sal said He isn't wearing it now. He said it's too heavy. Howard said He thinks it's about a purification thing.
Sal said that He and Ross got to be close when He told him He loves the cologne He wore. He said Ross refused to tell him what it was. He said that his wife does the same thing when someone says they like the scent. Sal said He eventually found out and it was over $250 a bottle. He said it turns out it's something called ''Portrait of a Lady.'' He said He smells so good and it puts him in a good mood. Howard said He has never heard a guy talk like this. Sal said Ross smells better than a woman. Howard said Sal might be gay. Sal said he's not. He said that He used to say Ross had bad breath but He doesn't. He said He went to Ross and He told him what this cologne was. He said it was Portrait of a Lady and it's kind of a feminine name. Sal said He told him how much it cost. He said that the 3 ounce bottle is like 90 bucks. He said He told his wife about it and He told her about it and how it could change everything.
Sal said father's day came and his wife wasn't able to get it. Howard said it's listed as a woman's fragrance. Sal said He got a bottle on Christmas. He said his wife got it for him and He was so happy about it. He said it was the $300 bottle. He said He was so excited about it that He hopped in the shower before putting it on. Sal said He put it on and it smelled like ass sweat and pine trees. He said He thought it was him at first. Sal said He was walking around his house and He figured his wife would like the smell. He said she told him He smelled like shit. Sal wondered how this could be. Sal said that his cousin loves the smell of Diesel Fuel cologne. He said He had her smell this stuff and she told him to get rid of it. Sal said He ended up returning the stuff. He said with one spray you can return it. He said this stuff triggered his pheromones and made it smell bad. He said He now feels in some way that Ross sabotaged him. He said that's how He thinks this all started.
Howard said maybe Ross lied about it to fuck with him. Howard said maybe He didn't want him smelling like him. Sal said He did think about that. Robin asked why He didn't go to Barney's and try it out first. Sal said He can barely get to the Long Island Railroad. Sal said Ross said He was really bummed out about it.
Howard said He heard Sal had a turn around about Muslims. Sal said He did. He said He thinks God gave him a sign. He said He was driving home and the little short school bus stopped in front of him. Howard said they probably thought He was a student. Sal said a bunch of Muslim people came out in his neighborhood and this little girl came down the ramp in a wheelchair. He said she's not well. He said then He lost it in his car. He said He started crying. He said He realized you can't put all of these people under one umbrella. He said she's a human being and she has struggles just like we do. He said it's unfair to condemn all people like that. He said now He sympathizes with Muslims because they're all being persecuted for one person's actions.
Sal said He told Ross about the pee thing and He told him to go see a therapist. Howard asked why Sal told Gary about this dream. Sal said he's understanding about that stuff. Howard said Sal used to bust Gary's balls so much though. Sal said Gary is such a great guy though. He said Gary sat him down there when He started and He told him to never feel bad about breaking his balls. He said he's just a good guy.
Howard said Sal doesn't think Gary works hard enough. Sal said Gary is a great guy. Howard said it's odd that He goes to him for comfort but that's how He feels. Howard said you'd think he'd go to Robin with that stuff. Sal said Robin gave him a sheet telling you how to cum. Robin said she gave it to him to use as a bit. It wasn't meant for him to use with his wife. Robin said she told Howard about it too.
Howard said they learned a lot about Sal today and no one cares. They went to break a short time later.
- High Pitch & Joey Boots - April 11, 2016. 02/17/17. 8:15am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to High Pitch Erik and Joey Boots. Here's my rundown from that day:
High Pitch Erik And Joey Boots Update (Plus Hanzi Returns). 04/11/16. 8:05am
After the break Howard came right back and said for those who were wondering what happened with High Pitch Erik and Joey Boots the other day, they are there for the 30 million subscriber thing. He had them come in after that. Howard said he figured they'd get an update. Howard asked if Erik has accepted that Joey is going to leave his building. Joey said Erik seems to have accepted it. Erik said he has. Joey said it may change when he actually moves. Erik said it will take time.
Robin asked where Erik found that huge jersey he's wearing. Erik said a friend from Atlanta got it for him. It's an Atlanta Falcons jersey.
Howard said Joey is saying that Erik isn't reacting horribly to his news. Joey said Erik drifted off into mentioning that girl's name instead of spending time on the move. He said that he thought it would be more dramatic. He said he obviously didn't need someone to help make the announcement to Erik. Howard said when he's packing and leaving that will hit Erik hard. Erik said it will. Howard said that he's there with him every day and he can't see that far ahead. Howard said Erik has limited capacity and he can't see what's coming up.
Joey said that he was told he should buy a place and not rent. He said that's what his attorney told him. Erik said that's their attorney. Joey said the guy is a fan of the show. He does work for both of them. Joey said he just made some money from him on this settlement. Robin said Erik thinks he'll be able to move in if Joey buys something. Erik said if he gets a broker he has to pay them. He said that Vinnie is wrong. Erik said he should look for a place and not look for a broker. Erik told him not to do that. Joey said he has a lot of people to ask a lot of questions. Howard said maybe he shouldn't get a broker.
Joey said he has to talk to people in the know. Howard said if Joey walks in without a broker people are going to think they're being robbed. Howard said he has to get one. Erik said the NY Times has the best real estate section. Howard said just because he's the size of a building doesn't mean he knows.
Howard asked what happened since last week when they saw him. Erik said Jason called him on Friday. He said he has bad news to tell them. He said his primary doctor and cardiologist called. Erik said he had a stress test. He said that this thing with Elephant Boy is stressing him out. He said Elephant Boy said he was going to drop the case against him. Howard said Elephant Boy may still be there. Joey said he left.
Shuli came in and said that Fred the Elephant Boy is in the prime of his asshole years. He said Erik is wrong for what he did but he came in did his time. He said that he went through the court thing there in the studio and all of that. He said Erik is guilty of what he did and he was really a mess in real court. He said he told Elephant Boy that if he didn't sign his affidavit that it would be thrown out of court. He said he ended up signing it so it's not going to be thrown out of court. Howard said maybe Elephant Boy doesn't want to comply with that. Shuli said he keeps fucking with Erik on Twitter. He said that people send him screen shots of that. Howard said he thinks that Erik has to stop reading that stuff. Joey said Elephant Boy is only a victim because he bullied Erik.
Erik said he was told he has a blockage in his heart. He said he might have coronary heart disease. He said when he walks and exercises he's not getting enough blood from his heart. He said they want him to get a catheterization. Howard asked if he knows what that involves. Joey said he thinks they're going to go in through his thigh and insert a stent. Howard said this is a wake up call for him to lose more weight. Erik said he's losing the weight on his own and he's proud of himself. Howard said he needs a second heart to pump the blood. Howard asked if he's asked the doctor to do that. Erik said he hasn't. Howard said Erik could ask them to take Joey's heart. Erik said Joey might die. Joey said he would die.
Howard said that this is no walk in the park. Joey said this should be a wake up call for him. Erik said it is. Robin pointed out the soul patch he has. Joey said he told him to get rid of it.
Howard asked when the operation is going to happen. Erik said he doesn't know yet. Howard asked if Joey is going to be there for him. Joey said he doesn't know. Howard said he has a fear he's going to feel he's better and go eat pancakes. Erik said no. Shuli said after the show last week Erik was snapped out of it when he thought Joey was going to buy him breakfast. Joey said he went clothes shopping and bought a bunch of clothes. He said he's not sure where he's going to live yet. Joey said he's going to be looking.
Howard said it's not a good idea for Joey to shop for apartments with Erik. Erik said he would help. Howard said if Erik finds one maybe he should get the real estate broker fee. Erik said he should.
Shuli had audio of Erik and Joey leaving last week and Erik asking to move to Connecticut with Joey. He said someone has an apartment up there for them. Joey said he wants to live in Manhattan. Howard said Erik is a tough customer. Howard played another clip of Erik telling Joey that he is so shocked from the news and he has to eat something. Howard played a clip of Erik singing ''I Will Always Love You'' to Joey.
Howard asked Erik if he would blow him to keep him in the building. Erik said he would do it to Donnie but not Joey. Shuli said Erik is looking to upgrade and take Joey's apartment. He said that's a one bedroom with the toilet right next to the bed. Erik said he's not going to take it. He said it's because of the toilet. Howard said that's better than going into the hall to go. Erik said no. He said he can't have a toilet in his room. Howard said that he could turn the toilet into a couch. Howard said it's a big deal to have a toilet in the room. Howard asked Erik if he has a lot of guests. Erik said he hardly has any. Shuli said he was up at Erik's recently and it was so small he could barely get in his apartment.
Howard said Erik can't even walk up stairs. He said this is fascinating and they could spend 4 hours on this. He said he has other things to get to though. Erik and Joey congratulated Howard on the 30 million. Erik said that his birthday is this weekend and he's turning 45. Erik asked if he can get him Tommy John underwear for his birthday. Howard said he doesn't think they even have his size. Erik asked if they can get him an iPad for his birthday. Howard said how about getting to an appearance without asking for something. Howard said wheat he will give him is Will the Farter to fart in his face. Shuli said he herd he wanted to get an Iguana or something. Erik said he wants a bearded dragon. He said they're adorable.
Joey said they're going to be at the Smiling Moose in Pittsburgh next weekend. He said that Gonzo will be there too. Howard picked up and asked if Hanzi is going to be there too. Hanzi said he won't be. Joey said Hanzi has been shitty to Howard lately. Howard said fuck him then.
Shuli said that he's been nothing but nice to Hanzi and he's gone out to do shows and he has helped the guy get laid and he treats him like shit. Shuli said he thinks everything is a scam. Erik said fuck you to Hanzi too. Hanzi said Howard will sacrifice Erik for the Illuminati.
Howard said that he didn't ban Hanzi like he thinks. Hanzi said he did ban him. Howard said he scares him. Hanzi said that he did ban him. Howard said he'd better shut up or he will ban him. High Pitch Erik went off on him saying he'll stick his cock in his fucking mouth. Joey said he'll film it. Howard said then they'll put it on the internet. They had Erik saying all kinds of wild shit about what he'd do to Hanzi. Howard was egging him on and he was going nuts on Hanzi.
Howard said Erik is going to eat his ass and suck his penis. Erik said that's right. He told Hanzi to die you piece of shit. Erik told him to suck his cock so he can blow in his mouth.
Hanzi said something about ''fuck Israel'' so Erik went off on him again. Erik is Jewish so he told Hanzi that and went off on him saying he's going to shoot ropes on his fucking head. Howard said he's going to fist his tight little asshole. Howard kept them going and kept egging Erik on to say he was going to do all kinds of gay stuff to Hanzi. Howard said Hanzi is going to have to marry Erik. Hanzi asked if Erik is going to kill him like Howard almost killed Artie. Everyone sighed. Howard got Erik to talk about more gay stuff he was going to do to Hanzi while he was fucking him in the mouth. Erik was talking about stabbing his finger in his man pussy and cum all over his face. Howard said he's going to spit in his gaping man pussy.
Hanzi told Erik to stick his dick in Beth and give her a kid. Erik told him not to talk about Beth. He went off on Hanzi again saying he crossed the line. Howard hung up on Hanzi. Joey said he should be banned for that. Howard asked what the fuck that was. Howard said that's his wife. He said that if you want to attack him he can do that but leave the wife and kids out of it.
Howard said Erik is rock hard and ready to fuck Hanzi. Howard said Erik has gone over the line. He said he has to take care of himself. He said he has to stop eating so much. Erik said he's not. He said he's eating normal. He said he has yogurt and a rice cake in the morning. He said he has coffee and some flavored creamer. He said then he drinks a lot of water. He said for lunch he has yogurt and another rice cake. Howard asked if this is true. Joey said it really is. He said he's eating right but not exercising. Erik said he may have a turkey burger patty with a side salad. He throws the bread out. He said he has a spinach salad. He said he has some string cheese after that. Howard said if that's what he's eating it's awesome. He has no soda in his apartment and he's not eating after dinner. Joey said he has some other stuff but it's not a lot. He said it's okay. Howard said if he keeps eating like that the operation isn't even going to work. Howard said he has to go out and start walking. Erik said that's what he's going to do.
Joey got in another plug for the Smiling Moose appearance. He said Shuli will be there too. Erik said he wants the iPad to listen to music on the plane. He said it would be a birthday gift though. Howard said he'll look around and see what he has. Joey told him to ask for it like a man. Erik lowered his voice and tried to ask again but Howard wondered if he has to get two seats on the plane. Joey said he gets comfort seats which are wider than regular seats.
Erik asked again for an iPad. Howard said he has his own expenses. He said he's not Rockefeller. Howard said he should walk to Canada and fuck Hanzi's man pussy. He said either that or walk to Pittsburgh. They went to break a short time later.
- Ice Cube - April 12, 2016. 02/17/17. 8:45am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played an interview with Ice Cube. Here's my rundown from that day:
Ice Cube Visits. 04/12/16. 9:05am
After the break they played a phony phone call Sal made to a pizzeria where he had his ''dad'' give an order as a DJ. They also played Tony Bennett singing ''New York State of Mind'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said Ice Cube is there to promote his new Barbershop movie ''Barbershop: The Next Cut.'' Howard said last time he was on was in 1998. Howard asked where he's been. Ice said he's just been busy doing his thing. Howard said congratulations on his induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said N.W.A. was nominated a couple of years ago but they didn't get in until ''Straight Outta Compton'' the movie did so well.
Howard asked Ice to explain why they didn't perform at the Hall of Fame. Ice said they weren't really supporting them. He said they were just looking for a table down front. Howard said the production looks sort of cheap. Howard asked if he's correct. Ice said he is. Howard said the performers look lost in the darkness. Ice said that's right and you have to put your own production together. He said they started to do that but they had to pay for everything so they gave up. Howard said they do sell advertising so you want to look good on camera. Howard said you have to sound good too. Ice said a lot of those groups still perform but people haven't seen them in years. He said they can show what they got.
Howard said that you don't get tickets to bring anyone. Howard said you get 2 per person. Ice said that's it. Howard said they ask for $10,000 per head at a table if you want to bring someone with you. Ice said you're out 100 grand if you bring a big group. Howard said Ice Cube can afford it but then you're putting on the show so why should he have to put that money out? Ice said that's kind of how the groups feel. He said it feels like a money grab but it is the hall of fame.
Howard said they decided not to perform there. Howard said then Gene Simmons of KISS says that N.W.A. isn't rock and roll. Ice said he's met Gene and he's been nice and he thinks he's just wrong on this one thing. Robin said here are plenty of non rockers in the hall of fame. Howard said it's weird to argue it out on Twitter with Gene Simmons. Ice said Gene hit him up on Twitter. Howard said Gene says he's looking forward to the death of rap. Howard said Ice wrote back that hip hop is there forever, get used to it. Ice said that was someone else who said that. Ice got into it after that and said that he can write to him when Jimi Hendrix is in the hip hop hall of fame.
Ice said Gene is just wrong in this. He said it's the spirit of the music. He said it was going on before they even called it rock and roll. Robin said Ice is an innovator. She said they took it to a place that it hadn't been before. Ice asked ''Ain't that rock and roll?''
Ice said he thinks Gene is wrong but he understands the attitude. He said he hates it when rap guys go to the band. He said he's old school with the albums and all of that. He said get used to it because they're in.
Howard asked Ice Cube what it was like for him personally when he left the band over money and went solo. Howard said it caused a huge rift between him and Dr. Dre. Howard asked how long they went being pissed at each other. Ice said that was brief to him. He said he wanted to work with Dre when he went solo but the other guys vetoed that. He said he did some solo stuff and some stuff with Public Enemy. He said they got together again in 98.
Howard asked if it was painful for him. Ice said it was. He said it was painful because Dre was his mentor. He said he was in the game because of Dre. He said he would hang with him at 15 years old instead of going to school. Howard asked if his parents were pissed about that. Ice said that his parents both worked at UCLA had good jobs. Howard said he got into a good college himself. Ice said he did get into Phoenix Technical School for Architecture. He said that his mom was happy that he was hanging out doing something instead of hanging out on the streets. Ice said he was cool to be with people who were doing something different.
Howard asked if his parents asked him to do something in architecture. Ice said they didn't do that to him. He said that his mom said she liked the records and that he was doing them but she asked why he had to cuss so much. He said she was upset that she couldn't play it for her friends.
Howard said that the odds of N.W.A. becoming a success is really out there. Howard said Dre and Ice were in it together. He asked if he felt betrayed that he didn't leave with him. Ice said he was showing him that the writing was on the wall. He said he had a lawyer on the side and they didn't know. He said the lawyer was telling him what not to sign. He said he was telling both of them that this stuff wasn't right. He said management wasn't cutting the money up right.
Howard asked if Dre came to him and said he was wrong. Ice said that he did. He said he told him he was caught up in it all.
Howard said that Ice Cube's name is actually O'Shea. Ice said his mom liked the name OJ and that's close to it so that's what she named him. Howard said he has an older brother who had girls calling him all the time. Howard said he would hit on them all the time. Ice said when he found out what he was doing he cornered him and told him to stop talking to his women. Ice said they saw a case where this kid got stuck in a refrigerator and his brother told him that's what he was going to do to him and he'd be an Ice Cube when he got out. Ice said he took that as a badge of honor and said that his name is Ice Cube now.
Howard said when he changed his name to Ice Cube he had to tell everyone that's his name. Ice said he told people to call him that or he won't answer people. Howard said Robin tried to change her name to Robin Ophelia and Fred changed his name to Eric. Howard said no one listened to them.
Howard said he lost his O'Shea name and just told people to call him Ice or Cube. He said he won't answer to O'Shea.
Howard said that N.W.A. was a controversial group. Howard said even now there must be people who hold it against him. Ice said sure. He said that the cops tell him that they have been big fans for a long time. Robin asked if he gets crap for playing cops in movies. Ice said that's make believe so it's not a big deal.
Howard asked if his view has changed about police at all. Ice said not really. He said he likes good police but they criticize them for having a no snitching policy in their hoods but they have the same thing in the police. He said he has a problem with the good cops when it comes to that.
Howard asked if he has ever had to call the cops. Ice said he has. He said if someone tries to break into his house he'll call the police. He said if they get there in time and he doesn't have to kill anyone he's good.
Howard said when they look back on musicians a lot of them get ripped off. Howard said especially when you're coming out of a bad area. Howard said Ice sued his manager. He said he never did. He said what happened was when he left the group they started to pay him. He said he didn't understand it. He said he didn't get why he was being paid after he left. He said his lawyer told him they probably wanted him out of the way and paid him under the table so they didn't have to pay the other guys what they were owed.
Howard asked if there are a lot of jealous people in his life. Ice said he's had that. He said that his brother has taught him how to fight and things like that. He said he doesn't work with him anymore and that's the way to do things.
Howard said Ice's solo career worked out really well. Howard asked if he missed Dre. Ice said he knew he could rhyme but he wasn't sure how to produce the music. He said he had Sir Jinx with him and he's Dre's cousin. He said he taught him how to rap on beat. He said he was the only one who had turntables and the equipment. He said he'd go to his house and he had 12 inch records with a beat and he'd tell him to rap to it. He said he was off beat so he taught him how to do it right.
Howard said that was a nice thing of him to do. He said it is a learning curve. Howard asked how long it took before he got good at it. Ice said it took 2 or 3 days to get into it. He said this was in like 1985 or 84. He said that Grandmaster Flash was out and Run DMC was starting out. He said that they were big fans of Public Enemy too. Howard said 911 is a Joke is one of the best songs ever. Howard said even a whitey like him can get into it. Ice said it is one of the best produced songs out there.
Howard asked if hip hop has killed regular rock and roll. Ice said it's easier to get into and it has hurt traditional music playing. He said if you need a baseline or something you have to go back to the old dudes and not the computer instruments.
Howard asked if Ice plays any instruments. He doesn't. Howard asked if he regrets that. Ice said he does. He said his daughter plays and he's jealous. He said he wishes he knew how to play that stuff. Howard said he can see him playing Trombone. Ice said he'd be a Sax guy.
Howard said Ice came out of N.W.A. and that's short for Niggaz Wit Attitude. Howard said that's intense when people find out. Ice said they never thought they were going to go any further than Compton. He said they had very small aspirations. He said they were just looking to fuck the chick down the street.
Howard asked if he was ever scared on stage. Ice said when they had police threatening them before the show that was scary. He said that the Beastie Boys were going crazy trashing hotels and stuff and they got away with it. He said they'd try to stay in a hotel and they were turned away.
Howard asked if they felt like the Beatstie Boys were ripping off the black culture. Ice said that Rick had them in the right spot. He said that Dre had them rapping like the Beatstie Boys. He said that they were as big as Run DMC or any of those other groups. Howard said being white in a rap group can go horribly wrong. Ice said that you have to be a real beat boy and not a fake one. He said you can be accepted.
Howard said the worst is when a white guy pretends to be from Compton. Howard said Eminem came from a fucked up place so he gets away with it. Robin said Vanilla Ice was a mess. Howard said he still likes ''Ice, Ice Baby.''
Howard asked Ice about John Singleton putting him in Boys In the Hood. Howard asked if he ever believed he could have a movie career. Ice said he never did. He said he had to audition for the movie. Ice said it was all John's idea. He said John was an intern at the Arsenio Hall show. He said he wanted to get some of the guys on Arsenio and he went up to talk to Arsenio about getting them on. Ice said John Singleton came up to him and said he's a junior at USC and he thought he was perfect for his movie. He said John was helping him out to get to Arsenio so he got to talking and he told him about this script. He said he was like ''whatever'' and didn't believe him. He said that he was a junior at USC and he didn't have a career. He said he's not even an actor. He said they were all nuts. Ice said he saw John a year later and came up to him telling him he's a senior now and he's perfect for his movie.
Howard asked dhow he closed the deal with him on that. Ice said that John graduated with honors. He said he wrote the movie during his tenure. Howard asked if he read the script. Ice said he had forgotten about the guy. He said he got the script and went to the audition. He said he walked in and it was him. He said it was John. Ice said he was for real with that movie. Howard said he managed to raise $6.5 million for the movie. Ice said he auditioned and he was terrible. He said he sucked. Ice said John was worried. He said he found out he couldn't act. Ice said he didn't read the script. He said he told him to go home and read the script and try it again. He said if he's good he's good. Otherwise he'd have to cast someone else. Ice said he read it and took it serious from then on. He said he's been doing that ever since.
Howard asked if he has taken any acting lessons. Ice said he went for 2 days during Boys in the Hood. He said that he did it but he hated it. He said that Laurence Fishburn wondered why he was going because he was already in the movie. Howard said if you have the natural ability then just go with it. Howard said it could screw him up.
Howard asked if he has a learning curve in the movie making. Ice said that John had some workshops that they did to get to know how to do it. He said they had improv that was cool and when they got on set they were cool.
Howard asked if he went to the premier and all of that. Ice said he did. He said he had seen it before. He said John was all excited about it but he hated it. He said that he didn't like the way it looked. It didn't even look like a movie yet. He said it was unfinished and he couldn't see it. He said that he told his manager this was the worst mistake he'd ever made. Ice said it took the wind out of his sails. He said he went to see it with an audience and that was when it blew him away.
Howard said Ice then decided to write his own film ''Friday.'' Ice said that was the third one he wrote actually. He said that John asked him when he was going to write a script. He said he didn't think he qualified for that. He said John told him he could do that. He said he started to write something called America Eats It's Young and then another one he brought to John. He said they got better as he wrote more. Ice said that he learned how to write scripts and ended up with his third script. He said they had seen all of these movies that showed their neighborhood as hell holes but they had fun growing up. Ice said that's how Friday started. Howard said he made about 28 million with that so he was on his way.
Howard said Ice got cast in Three Kings with Wahlberg and Clooney. Howard said that's crossover time. Ice said that was a big gig. He said at that time they were labeling him as a rapper/actor. He said David O. Russell wanted him for the movie. He said he thinks he didn't want Clooney but he had to take him. Howard asked if he kept his acting the same. Ice said he kept it natural. He said that's the best thing for him. Howard said he has some franchises that he could keep going for years. He said he's been in a bunch that can have more sequels. Howard said he's a fucking star and he thinks he could green light any movie. Ice said he doesn't think so. He said there's still a process to get a movie made. He said that they do that to keep things from getting out of hand. Howard asked if he thinks he could get a movie made if he wanted to. Ice said he thinks he could if they had the right package.
Howard asked if he would like to have an office to write in. Ice said he'd rather be at home writing. Howard went through some of the movies Ice has been in. Howard said 21 Jump Street did really well. Howard said that box office is important so does he track it. Ice said you have to. Howard asked if he has a team that advises him on this stuff. Ice said he has agents and a manager that are great. He said he has a good team.
Howard said Straight Outta Compton did really well. Howard asked if he was upset that it didn't get an Oscar nomination. Ice said he was upset for a few minutes. He said he did wonder how good they have to be to get in there. He said they got a lot of pats on the back and a lot of accolades so he was fine. He said he didn't expect it to do as well as it did. Howard said it made $201 million. Howard said his son is in it too. Howard said that has to be weird. Howard said you almost have to say no to the kid when he asks to be in it. Ice said Howard has played himself in a movie. He asked how crazy that was. He said it seems even crazier than his son playing him. Howard said that they both had Paul Giamatti as the villain. Howard said that guy is great. Ice said he made people take their movie seriously. Howard said Paul is the villain and now the real guy is suing them. Ice said that's Jerry.
Howard said that brings them to the new project which is Barbershop: The Next Cut. Ice said he hopes they make enough to cover the cost of making the movie. Howard asked if that's his thing now. Ice said he still likes making music too. Howard asked if things are cool between him and Dre. Ice said he was at his house editing the movie. Howard asked when things were good finally. Ice said it was awkward for a while. He said Dre wanted him on Natural Born Killers and he was excited to go over there. He said Dre had a room full of mother fuckers in the house. He said he didn't know where Dre was. He said it was just him in the room. Howard asked if that's an intimidation thing. Ice said he thinks his house was just full of people back then. Howard asked if that's dangerous to have that going on. Ice said sure. He said people will walk off with shit.
Ice said things were cool as soon as they got together. He said it was just like the old days. He said they can go 10 years without talking and it'll be just like yesterday when they get together. Ice said that Dre has a lot of money now with the headphones thing. Howard said they're billionaires from those headphones. Howard asked Ice if he has anything like that coming out. Ice said he's just doing movies.
Howard said that he can see him doing 10 Barbershop movies. Howard said that Nicki Minaj is in the movie and they bring up a lot about her ass in the movie. Howard asked if she gets upset about that. Ice said she's a cool chick so she doesn't mind. Howard asked if he ever thinks about banging her. Ice said he's good with his wife.
Howard said the movie is being shown on Nicki Minaj's ass, is that right? Ice said that's Howard saying that. He said he didn't say it.
Howard asked about the music industry and how hard it is to make it now. Ice said the best thing to do is just be yourself. He said don't try to do something just to fit in. He said do you even if you think it feels played out. He said the fans want that. He said you can't fake it. Howard said he loves that advice.
Howard asked if he's smoking weed. Ice said sure. Howard asked if he has the medical stuff out in L.A. Ice said he does. He said he needs it because he gets anxiety. Howard asked if it helps him create. Ice said sometimes it does. He said he doesn't even care what kind it is as long as it's green. Robin said it's gotten stronger over the years. Ice said that's good.
Howard asked what movies they're up against. Ice said they're up against Jungle Book. He said their movie is great and he thinks they'll do okay if they make the kind of money he thinks they'll make. Howard asked if he wants to tell the people to say fuck the Jungle Book. Ice said if you want to see something real go see his movie. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up. They went to break after that. They played a Rosie O'Donnell song from Howard's 2014 Birthday Bash as they went to break.
- Ronnie The Robot 2.0 - November 15, 2016. 02/17/17. 9:50am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Ronnie the Robot visited again. Here's my rundown from that day:
Dave Chappelle On Saturday Night Live. 11/15/16. 7:10am
Howard said that they haven't heard from Wood Yi in a long time. Howard said this is a phony phone call he made to a pizzeria. Howard played the call and Wood Yi calls to complain about the delivery boy coming over and pulling down his pants and exposing himself. He was asking if he could send him back over. The guy on the phone said he can come down there and meet up there. Howard said that's nice because it all worked out in the end. Howard said they have another happy customer.
Howard said he hasn't seen Dave Chappelle on Saturday Night Live yet. He said he is a fan of Dave's though. Howard said in North Carolina they edited his monologue. Howard said they have a guy sitting there who is in charge of indecency or something and he must have worked for K-Rock previously. Howard said back when they were at K-Rock they had guys who were like this.
Howard played an example of how the channel chopped up Dave's stand up on Saturday Night Live. Howard played the live feed from New York and then the edited version from North Carolina's feed. They cut out the entire joke. Howard said they were trying to cut out the N-word there but they took out everything.
Howard said the same station edited out ''Grab them by the pussy'' too. Howard said they missed the word ''pussy.'' Howard played that clip too.
Howard said the other interesting thing with Trump is that Yoko Ono tweeted out a response to the new President Elect. Howard played the clip and it was Yoko making noises. It was just yelling and moaning. Howard said everyone was waiting for that. Robin said that's her response to the election.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's trying to get home to his apartment near Trump's building. He was crying and said it's been 3 days now. He protested like Yoko by making the noises like she did.
Howard's Back Pain. 11/15/16. 7:15am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie gets angry when he's driving. Howard said he does. He said he noticed he'll get in a rage. He said he'll start slamming the brakes a lot. He said he's flying all around the back of the car. Howard said he's belted in because it's wild back there. Howard said it's wild. He said Ronnie doesn't scream a lot. He just has to win. Howard said he thinks he believes he's one of the Dukes of Hazard. He said he should put a big General Lee on his car.
Howard said he was asking Ronnie about the traffic and he was saying it was because of the Trump situation. Howard said Ronnie gets around the city and it's terrific but he's very hopped up about it.
Howard said he's even having a lot of back problems lately. He said he had to read Dr. Sarno's books again. Howard said it's a struggle but it helps to read those books. Howard said the pain is real but it's not caused by what you think it's caused by. He said the brain works in weird ways. He said the brain is cutting off at the nerves and tendons the oxygen that they need. Howard said doctors tell you that you have a problem and they put you though stuff. Howard said you have to address it mentally according to Dr. Sarno. Howard said it's good to get in touch with what's bothering you so that's why he's reading.
Howard said he has another group of books from this other guy Steven Ray Ozanich. He said he has some books that are a good read. Howard said Dr. Sarno is getting older and he's retired now. Howard said he's really having a lot of trouble with his back. Robin said Howard used to have to lay on the floor. Howard said it's back and it's been going on for months. He said he finally had to acknowledge it.
Howard said he had a good day yesterday. He said he got a handle on it. He said it's very liberating. Howard said people thought he sounded like he was shot out of cannon yesterday. He said he's telling people this because if you're struggling then try Dr. Sarno's book. Howard said this guy Steven too.
Ronnie the Robot Returns. 11/15/16. 7:25am
Howard said they're going to try the Ronnie the Robot thing again today. He said maybe they'll try it again today. Howard had the guys wheel in Ronnie the Robot. Howard said look at his eyes. He said they look like Terminator eyes. Howard said it's very realistic. Howard said his upper body is metallic and the lower body looks like Ronnie with a plaid kind of thing. Robin said that's his circuit board. Howard said that Jim McClure developed this thing. Howard said he's going to turn him on and see what happens.
Howard asked if Ronnie the Robot is there. Ronnie said he is there. He told Howard how much RAM he has and said he's ramming it down his throat. Howard asked what he thought of Brent getting waxed yesterday. Ronnie said he's fine. Fine for a bald rat. He told Brent to eat shit.
Howard asked Ronnie the Robot if he can do anything new with his new software. Ronnie said he can rate hot pussy. He rated Megyn Kelly saying that she relates to his ball sack. Howard asked about Maria Menounos. Ronnie said she can munch his ass.
Howard asked about Vanna White. Ronnie the Robot said if only he had a time machine. Robin asked who taught him to speak. Ronnie told Robin to go fuck herself.
Howard asked about Hillary Clinton. Ronnie said ''Error. Boner kill.'' Howard asked about Melania Trump. Ronnie said she can eat his USB slot while he eats her penis slot. He kept telling Robin to go fuck herself too.
Howard asked what's going on here. He asked Ronnie what he thinks about ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Ronnie said it's bullshit and ''Grab them by the pussy!'' is where it's at.
Ronnie and Siri had a quick conversation and then Ronnie said that he's ejecting cum a few times. Ronnie also said ''Make America squirt again'' as his slogan.
Howard asked Ronnie about how they're going to get down 5th avenue. Ronnie said he's going into sleep mode. Ronnie was doing his own material and saying ''Fuck you'' to Robin over and over. He ran out of lines so Howard let him leave.
Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read after that.
- Naked Yoga - October 26, 2016. 02/17/17. 10:15am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to Memet about going to naked yoga. Here's my rundown from that day:
Memet Goes To Naked Yoga Plus Staff Fights. 10/26/16. 8:40am
Howard said they have this guy Memet there and he has been there about 2 years. He said he went to a naked yoga class and got naked for the show. Howard said he knows he has a small penis so he has balls for doing that. Memet came in and said it's not that small. He said when he's erect it's alright. Howard said even the instructor said he had a small penis. Howard said you don't go there unless you have a big cock. Memet said that's what he learned that day. He said the instructor had one that was like 8 inches flaccid.
Howard asked if he was embarrassed. Memet said he was one of the first people there. He said he thought it was going to be a mix of guys and girls but it was 99 percent dudes. He said he thinks they were straight but he's not sure about that. He said there might be a lot of underlying gayness there. Memet said he's still kind of traumatized from it. He said it's so emasculating. Howard said when you're doing poses are guy's assholes open. Memet said he went to the back of the class and he was looking at 40 guys doing downward dog with their balls hanging down. He said the yoga is so intense that you sweat your ass off. He said the guy in front of him had water streaming off his balls.
Memet said he was walking around doing interviews and kept stepping in water puddles. He said one guy had an erection. He said it was an Asian dude and his little penis was sticking straight up. He said he was the one guy smaller than him.
Howard said people pay $15 to do this. He said they range from 20 to 60 and there were only 2 girls in the class. Memet said they weren't bad looking. He said they may have been a mess mentally but physically they weren't bad.
Howard read some of the notes he had and Memet had to get naked so he could do the interviews. Howard played some audio of the instructor talking about why he started doing this naked. He said there are no benefits from doing it naked.
Howard said Memet talked about how people sweat a lot and the instructor likes the smell of sweat. Howard said that's the worst stink. Memet said that guy was kind of strange. Memet said the instructor was walking around with his big dick hanging over people. Howard played some audio of the guy talking about liking the smell of sweat. He said he thinks it's worse with deodorant. Howard said he admitted to dribbling pee on the floor during Yoga too. Howard played that clip and sounded like he was going to puke.
Howard said there's a no shame policy about erections. Howard had audio of the instructor talking about that. He said if you have a boner after class just cover it up. He said they don't boner shame there.
Howard asked how hot the chicks were there. Memet said they were 7s and 8s. Howard asked why the Asian guy got an erection. Memet said he thinks he was just relaxing and taking it all in.
Howard played a clip of a guy Memet interviewed about why he was there. The guy said he likes seeing people naked. Howard asked if the woman was checking out his package. Memet said she may have earlier but she wasn't looking at it there. Howard asked if he's like an inch. Memet said he may have been that day but he can grow. Howard said they get it. Howard played a clip of Memet talking to one of the women about being here and if she has people staring at her. She said people are pretty respectful there. She said it's there and out so look at it or don't. She said it's up to you.
Memet said he was praying for his penis not to let him down that day. He said he tried to chub up in the bathroom at a Dunkin Donuts. Howard said he does that too. He said he gets to the doctor's office and he has nothing there. He said it's embarrassing. Memet said that's what happened to him. Howard asked if he saw any strings hanging out. Memet said they told him they're just asked to bring a towel.
<>Howard asked if you use your own yoga mat. Memet said you can use theirs but you bring a towel. He said the people there are into it.
Howard had some audio of people describing Memet's penis. one guy said he has really weird balls and a really small penis. One guy said it was a nice bell. One guy said it was like an acorn standing on a stack of dimes. Memet said it may have been accurate that day but it's not like that every day.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the naked yoga class. The caller was doing a what sounded like an impression of the instructor and talking about Memet's pimple sized penis.
Robin asked why he did this. Memet said this was the only way they could get in. Howard said good for Memet doing it again. He put his balls on the line.
Howard asked how his feud is going with Jason. He said he heard he doesn't like Jason. Memet said he likes Jason but he does some things that annoy him. Howard said heard that he's upset about Jason ordering food and then leaving it all behind in the meetings. Howard asked if he leaves it on the desk. Memet said that you know if you've worked anywhere else that you clean up after yourself. Jason came in and said it's never happened. Jason said the picture was his desk. Jason said he throws his food away. He said he eats at the meeting because he doesn't have time to eat it any other time. Jason said that maybe that day he forgot. He said he's not entitled. Memet said he's just saying it's just a couple of things that annoy him.
Memet said back in his intern days when Jason wants a coffee or something he won't ask ''may I please have a coffee'' he'll just snap his fingers and say ''Coffee!'' Jason said he's making this up. He said that's just not true. Memet said he heard from a close source that this is still going on. Jason said he's never snapped his fingers or made a demand. He said the people who get the coffee sit far away from them too. Howard asked if Jason spilled a coffee and asked an intern to clean it up. Jason said he doesn't remember doing that.
Gary said that one of the interns said that Jason does put his hand up and says ''Coffee!''
Howard asked if Jason is a bigger target now because of ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Fred said it might have to do with that. Jason said if he wants to take a picture of Memet on the air he has to spend 20 minutes fixing his hair.
Jon Hein came in and said that he has to say most of the time Jason is pretty polite. He said he was there when the drink was dropped and he demanded that the interns clean it up. He said he looked over at the interns and said ''Pick that up!'' He said he thought he was having a bad day. Jason said he'd like to hear that person tell the story. Jon said Will might talk about it. Jason said Jon has told the P.A.'s that they can't get him lunch because they've fucked up his order. He said he's seen Jon throw down a meal because it's wrong. Jon said he will ask them to fix it and get it right. Jason said he'll throw it down and say ''X isn't getting me lunch anymore.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jon has to stand up to Jason and Jason is wrong for doing what he's doing. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying but he's on a roll. Howard asked if Jason is a diva. He asked Robin. Robin said judging from the information they got he might be.
Howard took a call from a former intern named Will who said that Jason was really nice. He said the only person at the show who left a bad taste in his mouth was Jon Hein. He said Jon was just a dick. Howard asked how he's a dick. Will said Jon would just ignore them in the bullpen. Howard said he's shocked Jon said he is too. Howard said he hung up.
Howard said they have a very important ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' He said Charlie Puth recorded a special ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Jason said he's not sure who suggested it but it got done while he was up there. Howard played the song that Charlie did. He sang ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said he just announced he had to cancel some shows recently. He said he was up there and then got sick.
Howard asked if Fred acts like a diva there. Memet said that Fred is one of the nicest guys around there. He said he was the first one to learn his name there. Jason said one of the coffees he orders in the morning is for Fred. Gary said Fred is such a nice guy that he would get black coffee for years and he wouldn't ask for cream to bother anyone. Jason said he noticed it one day and asked if he likes it with cream. He told him he does and he realized he was bringing it to him wrong for years.
Howard took a call from a former intern who was disguising their voice. He said he's afraid of all of these guys. He said Memet is a pussy but the rest of them he's scared of. Howard let that guy go a short time later.
Memet said they have P.A.'s there doing a lot of things and they should have to go out and get lunch and things like that. Jason asked if they should all get their own lunches and stuff. Memet said yes to everyone but maybe Gary. Howard asked if Jason is so busy working that he doesn't have time. Memet said he has time to get coffee. He said they all spend time talking. He said at the end of the day everything is done. Jason said they get a whole rundown of Memet's day back in the office every day.
Howard said that Memet thinks Memet could be getting his own coffee. He said Jon is in that list too. Memet said Gary and Fred are in a special group. He said Benjy should get his own. Jason said he's been there almost 16 years and started out at the bottom. He said he started out at 19,000 a year and he's in the position where he can barely get up from the computer. He said that he is busy working on other things there. Jon said that's an entitlement right there. Jason said sometimes during the day he needs help. Fred asked what the issue is there. Howard said Memet is saying that the P.A.'s are there doing important things and they shouldn't have to stop doing what they're doing to get food. Jason said that's part of their list of tasks. He said he doesn't put that list together. Memet said if they didn't have that job given to them would they be sitting around or doing something else. Howard said he thinks Jason is entitled to that coffee.
Jason asked if Memet wants a meeting with the boss to talk about this. Memet said that he has made his opinion heard. Jon told him not to back down to Jason. Jason told Memet to ''Him 'em with the Hein.''
Howard said there it is. Jason said he'd like to apologize to anyone he has ever snapped at. Robin asked for an apology. Jon did too. Jason said he was just telling Memet to stand up to him. Jon said that he'd like an apology for mental anguish. Jason said if he wants mental anguish he'll give him mental anguish.
Jason said for an entire year they had meetings and Gary would leave his empty cup of seltzer and ice on the table. He said Jon should know that. He said he may have done it once but he doesn't do it constantly. He said Gary did it for 16 months straight. He said he has all of the pictures on his phone. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody after that.
Howard said he didn't know Gary was doing that kind of thing. Jason said Gary is still pissed at him about the Facebook thing. He said he was talking about invading his personal space and all of that. Gary said you can be a dick on the show but you have to expect repercussions. Jason said he knows that. Gary said the joy he takes in that stuff is annoying. Jon said that's right. It's about the glee he takes in seeing other people annoyed. Jason said he thinks he was the only guy in that office who was picked on in school and that's why he does it. Jason said it was so fun to put that Gary thing together yesterday. Howard said it was fun. Howard said Gary is the one who banned him so it was a year of being banned. Gary said he enjoyed hearing everyone talking about how entitled Jason feels he is. Jason said Gary isn't entitled at all. Jon said he has to admit he knows what Jason is talking about. He said after a meeting they all get up and leave and some people clean up and there were a couple of times that Gary left his can there. He said Jason took pictures and it became a thing for a while.
Gary said he doesn't do it anymore. He said it was brought to his attention and he stopped doing it. Howard asked Jon if he was aware of Gary's love of Cheerios. Jon said he was. He said he has a big box of them in his office. Howard said he forgot all about it. He played another Baba Booey song parody.
Howard said Elijah Wood is a big Vinyl fan like Gary. Howard said he has some audio of him on the Kelly Ripa show talking about vinyl. Howard played that and both Elijah and Kelly were talking about how much they like the sound.
Howard asked when Elijah Wood was last in a movie. Jason said he's been in a lot of great TV shows. Howard said Gary should go steady with Elijah. Howard said that's the man for him. He played another Baba Booey song parody about his love of vinyl.
Howard said he is one of the people who is grateful for technology so we don't have to deal with skipping anymore. Howard said you had to be careful with records. Howard said now DJ's have two computer screens and they don't have to do anything. Jon said he likes digital but he likes vinyl too. Fred said he likes it but he's not passionate about it. Jason said he has some but the majority is digital.
Howard said he has a producer who loves vinyl and Cheerios. Jason said he loves sunsets too. He laughed as he goofed on Gary about posting on Facebook about a sunset. Howard said Gary took a picture of his wife in front of the sunset and then asked her to take one of him in front of it.
Howard said the Filipino president, Rodrigo Duterte, gave a Baba Booey mention. He said that it means something in their language. Gary said it means ''to drive out pigs.'' Howard played the clip and Duterte said it a couple of times in a speech he was making.
Howard said he has a clip of Sour Shoes calling an internet show to talk about soccer. He called in as Richard Simmons. They called in with clips of Sour doing his Richard Simmons voice and annoyed the host of the show. The host took a couple of calls and Sour was doing different voices. The host kept hanging up on Sour. Howard went to break a short time later.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.