- July Vacation Replay Shows - Day 10. 07/13/18. 7:00am
Howard and the guys are on vacation for a couple of weeks. They're playing shows from the past couple of years. Here's what they played on today's show:
- Richard Returns - December 6, 2017. 07/13/18. 7:00am
First on today's vacation replay show they played
Richard Returns From Paternity Leave. 12/06/17. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking about how they're having so much fun already. He said he just had the boys in there going over the events of the day. He said they have a lot to talk about. He said yesterday he was talking about Richard Christy coming back from paternity leave. He said he had a month off for that. He said he just had a baby Carson and he's hearing how unprepared he was. He said they were talking about him having a one bedroom apartment and he thought it was going to be sleeping with them. He said now he's in shock because they haven't gotten any sleep. He said the baby was crying so much they went to the doctor thinking something was wrong. The doctor said it was growing pains. Fred laughed and said bullshit.
Howard said he's an idiot. He said he told him. Robin said they thought it was going to be easy. Howard said it's like talking to a moron. He said Richard said he can't wait for him to turn 18 so he can come to Munich for Octoberfest. Howard said he wants an 18 year old and the kid was just born. He said he just wants to drink with him.
Howard said they were coaching Richard on his new life. He said he'll go to a Christmas party and the wife will have to stay home. He has to go home and tell her that he had a bad time there. Howard said Richard's life used to be where they'd have this party and Richard would be the last one to leave. Howard said now she can't go and he has to go and she'll be resentful. Robin said he should take paternity leave from the party. Howard said then he's going to get home and want to sleep in and the baby won't care. Howard said Richard will want the baby to quiet down.
Howard asked where that imbecile is. He said Richard said he thinks the baby will be a painter because he stares at a painting on the wall. Howard said Richard's parents haven't seen the baby so he has to call someone near where they live and send them a picture. He said that Goober has to bring the iPhone 25 miles to the house. Howard said then they show them the picture. Richard came in and said that's right.
Howard said Richard took the baby's picture and he took the baby's soul with that. Howard congratulated Richard on the baby. He said secondly he's in shock. He said he knows he's in shock. Richard said he never thought it was going to be easy. He said it's totally worth every second. Howard said he went and got a one bedroom apartment. Richard said that's fine. Howard said he doesn't think it's a mistake. Richard said they're living in the living room with the baby. He said they want to be around the baby. Howard asked if he's getting any sleep at all. Richard said his wife is watching the baby while he sleeps in the bedroom. He said on the weekends he's going to be sleeping with the baby.
Howard asked if he's drinking at all. Richard said he doesn't want to be buzzed at all around the baby. Howard said Richard used to close the Christmas party. Richard said he knows to behave around him. Howard said he doesn't have to behave.
Howard said the guys just said he closed the party last year. Gary said they have conflicting reports. He said some people say he closed it but Ronnie said he left around 11 or 11:30.
Howard said congrats on the baby again. He said that Richard can't wait for the baby to be 18 so he can get drunk with him.
Howard said Richard didn't send Sal a picture of his baby. Richard said he told JD and Ronnie about it but they talk to Howard in the morning. He said Sal doesn't talk to Howard in the morning. He said he did let Sal know. He said Sal was the first one to get a picture. Gary said that's not true. Richard said he's jealous of Larry Caputo, he'll admit it. Howard said when Sal didn't get that picture it rocked this place. Richard said that's what he heard.
Howard asked if he got to eat the baby's placenta. Richard said he had other things on his mind. He said he didn't ask. Richard said he was the first one to hold the baby. He said you feel a love that you've never felt before. Howard said Sal still hasn't seen the baby. Richard said no one has. He said they're waiting for him to get the shots. Robin said if he's around Richard he'll be fine around anyone. Robin said he doesn't bathe.
Howard asked if Richard is drinking at all. Richard said he'll have one a night. He said he takes an hour or so a night to drink it. Howard asked if it's hard to come down off of that. Richard said no. Howard said come on. He said he has to be getting the DTs. Richard said he didn't think about it a lot.
Gary said he heard Richard has to have a beer on this day because it's St. Nicholas day in Europe. Robin said this is what everyone does to start. Robin said they think about it all in the beginning. Robin said once they get to the point where they're used to the baby they will start having those things creep back in. Howard said he's not sure what he's doing. He said he hears drips and drabs. Howard said everything is not wonderful like Richard is saying it is. Richard said they knew it was going to be hard. He said they're doing fine.
Howard said that they're not going to bust his balls too much. He said he can go back to work now. Richard said he and his wife love the baby so much. Robin said of course they do.
Mariann's Odd Gift And Jay Leno's Head. 12/06/17. 7:15am
Howard said he got a gift in the mail from Mariann from Brooklyn. He said it's a comic book about the holocaust. He said it's stories of the survivors. He said they told their stories and they made it into a comic book. Howard asked why Mariann is sending that to him. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard said growing up he heard survivor stories from grandma. He said it was enough. He said he doesn't need to see these comic books. Howard said send them over to Steve Bannon over there at Sirius. Howard said imagine what Mariann is thinking. Robin asked if she's on the phone. Howard said for the first time she's not.
Howard said he has to hand it to the CW. He said they have a bunch of super hero shows on that network. Howard they put together a 4 part series crossover between the shows. Howard said they must have sunk a billion dollars into it. He said it was really good. He said it brought him back to those shows. Howard farted. He said he's sorry about that. Howard said comic books got really complicated. He said in this one there were 53 earths. Robin said it is confusing.
Howard picked up on a fake Mariann from Brooklyn who was asking why he didn't like the comic book. She said she's sending a necklace made of Jew teeth to him too.
Howard said Mariann is a very nice woman. He said she sent a Happy Thanksgiving card too. Howard said no one ever sent a card like that. Howard said Mariann is very nice so she sent one. Robin said it's odd when you just think of their religion or race. Howard said he was slapped a yarmulke so it's hard not to.
Howard said he watched the Carol Burnett 50th anniversary special. Robin said she missed it. She said she would have taped it but she forgot about it. Howard said it's DVR, not tape. Howard said the show was very good. He said it's enough already though. He said he's seen every clip.
Howard said Jay Leno was on the show and his head is enormous. He said he got heavier and he came out to sit next to Carol and his head took up the whole Carol Burnett. Robin said it looks like a balloon at the Macy's Day parade. Howard said Jay must be sick. He said there's something going on there with that head. He said he's never seen a bigger head. Robin asked if it's getting hard for him to carry that head around. Howard said he has a big face.
Howard said he doesn't care about Jay. He said what Jay did to him wasn't right. He said he told him that on the phone and he stopped being his friend. He said he was patronizing him when he spoke to him. He said he was an angry young man and it was the whole Stuttering John thing. Howard said he was happy for John but Jay just grabbed one of his guys behind his back. Howard said if he had just given him a heads up he would have been cool with it. He said Jay should have just owned up to it. He said he was getting put down buy the guy and it was insulting.
Howard said he blew off steam and the feud happened. He said that now he's older and a bit wiser. He said he doesn't hate Jay. He said he never did. He said he's a great stand up. Robin said he has always said that.
Howard said Jay's head was shocking to him. He said he's never seen a head grow like that. Gary said he saw it too. He said he thought that the hair being white made it look bigger. Howard said Jay is also tan and that doesn't help. Robin said maybe his neck has disappeared. Howard said something is going on there. He said that his head stays the same. He said Jay's fat must be going into his head. He asked how that's humanly possible. Robin said that happened to Jerry Lewis too. Howard said that came from medication that he was taking. Howard said Jay isn't saying why this is happening.
Howard said someone once told him that actors and actresses have big heads. He said that the most successful ones have big heads. Robin said Merv Griffin picked Vanna White because she had a big head. Howard said maybe Merv told him that. Robin said maybe it was him.
Robin said Robert De Niro had a big head too. Howard said Jay should be the most successful man on TV. Howard said he didn't know Vanna White got the job because she had a big head. Robin said that's what it was.
Howard had Mariann from Brooklyn on the phone. He asked why she would send him that. Mariann said it was some fan art work and it was a reminder of the holocaust. Howard said he doesn't need a reminder. Howard let Mariann go and said that Gary was the one who told him about this comic book. He said that he threw it across the room at Fred. Howard said it's horrible. He said he should have asked Mariann what her favorite story was in the book. Gary said he read Howard one about Nazis burning down a house and the family lives in a brewery. They lived there with no food but they could hear their neighbors being killed. He said that was it. Gary said there's a picture of someone lifting their shirt and showing they're skin and bones.
Howard said he's gotten first hand accounts of the holocaust. Howard said this is like sending a comic book of the Sandy Hook shootings to the parents of the kids. Howard said if you think about it, this is the children who lived through the holocaust. Howard said it's stories through children's lives. Howard said it might not even be the real story.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Mariann adds nothing to the show and he has to stop taking her calls. She said it's every day all day. Howard said everyone was happy that Jeff the Drunk quit the show. The caller said she wishes she would quit the show. Howard asked if Jeff should go and take Mariann with him. The caller said absolutely. Howard asked if she wants to tell her that to her face. She said yes.
Howard put Mariann back on with the caller and let Melanie tell Mariann. Melanie said they can't take her voice and she adds nothing to the show. Mariann asked how prejudice she is to not like her voice. Mariann and Melanie went back and forth yelling over each other. Mariann asked what she's bringing to the show. Melanie said she's bringing prayers that she stops calling. Mariann asked who she is to say that. Melanie asked if she listens back to the show. They were talking over each other.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing the part of a woman who didn't like Melanie's voice on the show. They were doing a Mariann impression as Ann Marie.
Howard asked Melanie if she wants to play a game. Melanie said she would love to. Howard said he has her locked in. Howard said he has another caller who says he loves Mariann's calls. The caller said her voice is angelic. He said he disagrees with Melanie on Mariann. Howard said there it is.
A Beetlejuice Simple Phrase Game. 12/06/17. 7:30am
Howard said he's going to play a Beetlejuice game. Howard said she's playing for a speaker system from SVS sound. Howard said they have a simple phrase game to play. He said they say a phrase to Beet like ''Beating around the...'' and the find out if Beetlejuice knows that. Howard said this one doesn't count. Melanie said he doesn't know. Beet actually did know it was Bush.
Howard said they gave Beetlejuice the phrase ''Close but no...'' Howard asked Melanie if he'll know. Melanie said no way. Howard played Beet's answer which was ''Weed.''
Howard said they gave Beetlejuice the phrase ''Curiosity killed the...'' Melanie said no way he'll know that. Howard played Beet's answer which was ''Fucking cat... i killed four fucking cats.''
Howard said they gave Beetlejuice the phrase ''Bit off more than you can...'' Melanie said that she's going with ''no.'' Howard played Beet's answer which was ''than you can have or you can eat
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she can't believe he's letting her play this game but she hopes she wins. She said it's the most wonderful time of the year. Melanie wished her a merry Christmas too. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Howard said they gave Beetlejuice the phrase ''Hit the nail right on the...'' Melanie said she thinks he'll know that one. Howard played Beet's answer which was ''right on someone's brain or on the head.'' Howard said he heard head so she got it. Howard made some jerking off sounds and said he's jerking off into this plant.
Howard said Melanie can take her prize or she can ban Mariann from the show forever. Melanie said that she feels like she needs to take one for the team but she'll take the system. Howard said Mariann is staying with the show. Howard said she wants that prize for herself. Howard said she just won the sound system from SVS Sound worth $999.99. Howard put her on hold so Gary could set her up with her prize. Howard went to break after that.
- Lena/Lenny Phony Phone Call - September 20, 2017. 07/13/18. 7:45am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played a phony phone call they made with Lenny Dykstra. Here's my rundown from that day:
Phone Calls, Music And Lenny Dykstra. 09/20/17. 7:45am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who said they were talking about Katie Tur yesterday. He said there's another one and he mentioned the name. Howard didn't seem interest. The caller said that Emma Stone wore a really hot dress on Colbert last night. Howard said he finds her very attractive. Howard said he appreciates it when they come out in a hot dress. Howard said no one wants to really hear from them a lot of times. Howard said they want to talk about some vacation they took or something. Robin said they're no Shailene Woodley. Howard said it's great to just stare at them.
The caller asked if Howard has heard the new Jagger tune. Howard said he has not. The caller said that it sounds great. Howard thanked him for the call. Howard said he didn't know Jagger had a new record. He said it must be a solo thing. He said it's enough of the solo stuff already. He said he's best when he collaborates with Keith Richards. He said he should just keep going out with the Stones and stop it with the solo stuff.
Howard said it's like Fred going out and hosting his own show. Fred said he's not sure what song that caller was talking about. He said it might be ''Get a Grip.'' Howard had him play it. He listened to it for a few seconds and asked when he put it out. Fred said it may have been July. Howard said he likes Mick Jagger but he's done. Howard asked what he's going to do with that.
Howard said someone turned him on to a song. He said he was on YouTube and it was Gary Clark Jr. covering ''Come Together.'' Howard said most of the time covers of Beatles music aren't that good. He said this was good though. He had Fred play the song. Howard said this is a good cover. Fred played Ronnie yelling ''69!'' over it.
Howard said he thought it was pretty cool. Robin said ''Eh.'' She said it reminds her of the original. Fred played her news theme. Robin said ''Fuck you, Fred.'' Robin said there has to be something different about it so she isn't reminded of the original.
Howard said Lenny Dykstra wrote a song about her. He said it's called ''Give me that Cunt.'' He played the bit and said he can't believe this is the guy who he loved on the Mets. Howard said there's nothing that he won't record. He said he loves it. He said it's pretty hard core.
Howard said Lenny comes on to everyone. He said there was a story about Lenny coming on to Lena Dunham. Howard said she was at a baseball game with her boyfriend and his name is Jack Antonoff. Howard said Lenny was told that Lena likes baseball and baseball players. Lenny wrote to her on Twitter and someone who is a friend of her's told her to Google Lenny. She was having a fun flirtation and then she read something about Lenny. Howard said then she realized that he was disgusting. Howard said she tweeted something to him about being disgusting and Lenny didn't care. Howard said he kept going with her and they had this whole exchange. Howard said they had a good idea after that and called Lenny pretending to be Lena Dunham. He said they tried to gross him out.
Howard said they called Lenny and they had fake Lena (Rachel Butera) saying gross stuff to him. Howard played the call. They had fake Lena asking if he had room for more women in his stable. She said she'd bring her slot when they meet up. Lenny told her he has a semi. He said that it's hard to make him cum though. Lena said sometimes she shits when the door is open. Lenny said he doesn't want to know about that. He said no one is allowed to shit in his house. Fake Lena told him she has IBS and she shits a lot. Lenny eventually hung up on her.
Howard said that's how you get rid of Lenny. He said his Kryptonite is shit. Howard said he hung up on Lena. Howard asked if that's awesome. Robin said now women can do that to him and he'll leave them alone.
Howard said he should probably take a break. He wanted to play a Tan Mom embedded. Robin said she wishes she was on that with Memet. Howard said he wishes he was too. He said he's never heard anything like this in his life.
Howard said all of October will be Cocktober. He said they'll have all kinds of cock related hijinks during the month. He said that the staff had a meeting yesterday and every day in October will be covered in cock humor. Howard said they're getting a lot of letters about how fans don't want this but he's doing it. Howard said don't be uptight.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Gary impression and talking about how they're going to have noine inches of cock. He was doing the ''noine'' thing a lot and singing a song. Howard said it's not gay, it's funny. He had fake Gary agreeing with him. Sour was singing and saying ''Noine'' over and over as Howard went to break.
- Bigfoot Spelling Game - November 7, 2017. 07/13/18. 8:05am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Bigfoot spelling game. Here's my rundown from that day:
The Bigfoot Spelling Game. 11/07/17. 8:30am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a woman who said she was calling from a school for an agency that she can't mention. Howard figured it was FBI. The caller said she's a veteran and she wanted to thank Robin for her service. Robin thanked her for that. Howard said that he can't believe that Trump said about McCain that he doesn't like veterans who were captured. Howard said that's not cool.
Howard said he wants to try to give away a speaker system to Megan. Megan said she would love that. She said she thinks she's about to ''Mariann'' but she'll stay calm. Howard said he would love to be in the FBI. He said he can't chase anyone but he might be a good profiler. Howard asked what Megan would want to be. Megan said whatever Howard would want to be. Howard said she has to keep her mouth shut. He said they don't want to fuck her up.
Howard said he feels he would be recruited if he was in the service and he wanted to be in the FBI. Howard said he would have served and gotten a purple heart. Howard said then someone shoots at him and he takes fragments in his head. He said he survives. He said he gets the purple heart and the FBI wants to recruit him. He said then he become a profiler. Howard said he cracks 5 or 6 cases a year. Howard said this is his life. He said he's very tough. Howard said he's a crack shot and never misses. Robin said he's a crackpot. Howard said he's like John Wick.
Howard said it's time for Megan to play the Bigfoot Spelling Game. Howard said she has to get 3 out of 5.
Howard said he's going to give Megan a shot at winning a speaker system worth $999.99. Howard asked if she thinks Bigfoot can spell ''OK.'' Robin said he must be able to spell that. Howard said he'll accept OK or okay. Megan said she will say he can spell it. Howard played the clip of Bigfoot answering and he said ''I don't know. I have no idea.'' Robin said get out of here.
Howard asked Megan if she thinks that Bigfoot can spell ''Off.'' Howard asked if Robin knows how to spell that. Robin did. Howard said she's a show off. Howard asked Megan what she thinks. She said no he can't. Howard played the answer and Bigfoot spelled it ''Off.''
Howard asked Megan if he can spell ''it.'' Megan said she's going to say no after Robin said no. Howard played the clip and Bigfoot said ''I don't know.''
Howard asked Megan if she thinks Bigfoot can spell ''On.'' Megan said she's going to say Bigfoot can't spell it. Howard played the clip and Bigfoot spelled it ''On.'' Howard said Megan just lost. Megan said she appreciates his time. Howard said he wants to give it to her because she's a veteran. Megan said she did 7 years and her mom and dad did time too. She said that her dad has three purple hearts too. She said that he was a Sargent Major. Howard said that there are few Sargent Majors out there. Megan said her mom was an E8. Howard asked where Megan served. She said she was in the army and she did 15 months in Iraq. She said that she couldn't even wear perfume over there because everyone was turning their heads to look at her. She said she had to stink after that.
Howard said she's probably attractive. Megan said she likes to think so. Howard said he can tell from her voice. Howard asked if she looks like Pam Anderson. She said she's told she looks like Kate Winslet. She said she lost some very dear friends over there and she came close to stuff over there but she was involved with computers and communications over there.
Howard asked what the craziest thing was that she saw over there. Megan said there was another woman over there and she complained about the army people who stink and she got hit by a mortar and lost her arm. She said that her Army guys saved her life. She said that was the craziest thing she saw. Howard asked if she ever shit in the sand and buried it. Megan said she didn't but her husband did. She said that they had shower and bathrooms where she was at. Howard said he used to shit in the rice paddys over there when he was in Nam.
Howard said he's breaking the rules for Megan. He said he's giving her one last chance. Howard said they asked Bigfoot to spell ''Bat.'' Howard asked Robin how to spell that. Robin got it. Megan said there's no way Bigfoot can get that. Howard said this is all or nothing. Howard played the clip and Bigfoot said ''I don't know... B... I don't know.'' Howard said Megan just won. He said she won an SVS sound system. Howard put her on hold and did a live commercial read. They went to break after that.
- Benjy Update - January 3, 2018. 07/13/18. 8:15am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard got an update from Benjy. Here's my rundown from that day:
More Jeff The Drunk. 01/03/18. 8:00am
After the break Howard came right back and said Jeff the Drunk hung up on them before commercial but the went on Periscope and yelled about him some more and then hung up on himself. Howard played a clip of Jeff going off on him on Periscope. Jeff was calling Howard a douche bag and saying ''fuck you'' to him. He said everyone is being fucking assholes. Then he cut himself off.
Howard said he thought they were making up. Howard said this is the guy who defends him at the bar. Robin said he insists he's a part of the show but then he's a fan.
Shuli said he gets messages from people about the Wack Pack and they go after all of them. He said he got a message from a woman who friended Jeff on Periscope and within 15 minutes he asked her to do a DM session and then She was sent a video of Jeff talking dirty to her. He said his hands are under the table and he was doing something. He said She was mortified by that. Robin said if they come back they have to be men.
Howard had Jeff back on the phone. He said if he wants to find a woman he can't be like Harvey Weinstein. He said they don't want you jerking off to them right away. Howard said he gets so excited that he's jerking off right away. He told him to keep it in his pants. Jeff said ''Oh my god.''
Jeff said he wants to make a point. Howard said he has to go. Jeff said he's trying to make a point. He said he says he's so loyal to everyone but that's bullshit. Howard said he's right. Gary asked if he's afraid of losing him to another radio show. Howard told Jeff to just share it with the people at the bar when he's defending him. Jason said you know they're all making fun of him at the bar. Jeff said he gave up so much of his life for Howard. Gary asked what he would have been doing with his life. Jeff said he got tickets for him and his mother to go to a concert and KC called him asking him to come down there. He said he didn't go to the concert and then his mother died. Howard said okay. He said he's giving up everything for the show. Jeff said he never says anything but then they do this and he has to say something. Howard said he gave up his scholarship to MIT for the show.
Gary asked how much free stuff he's gotten from the show. Jeff asked when they last sent him anything. Shuli said the fans send him stuff 7 days a week. Howard said he really has to go. Shuli wanted to ask him something. He said this woman said he had a nickname for his penis which was Thor. Howard said that's disgusting.
Benjy's 2017 Year In Review. 01/03/18. 8:10am
Howard said they have to get to the year in review. He played an intro for the Benjy 2017 Year in Review. Howard said he was kicked out of the studio in October 2016 after coming in late. He said it distracted him and he kicked him out. He said he was going to let him back in back in April but then he showed up late again and it was over after that.
Howard said they have bagels there on Wednesday and he ends up taking them home with him. Jason said he claims it was only 2 but people saw him taking more than that. Gary said the point is that he has decided that he knows when people have had enough. Howard played a clip of himself talking to Benjy about taking the bagels last year.
Howard said he tried explaining that to Benjy but he doesn't hear him. He said that they talked to Benjy about making out with a transgender person last year. Howard played a clip of that conversation.
Howard asked if anyone there grabs tittie before making out with someone. He said that's what Benjy claimed he did. He was on his way to making out when he grabbed her breast. Gary said he's not galloping in like usual. Howard said he must not want to defend that. Howard said he will move on then.
Benjy came in and said he didn't know if he was supposed to come in. Howard said he did ask him a question. Benjy said he didn't kiss the guy. He said he did caress her breast though. He said some part of him must have known it was a guy. Howard said he slept with him in a bed. Benjy said no. He said the guy didn't let him leave. He said he was living with her parents and he'd get in trouble if he woke them up. Howard said if he was making out with a chick and he saw it was a dude he'd leave.
Benjy insisted he didn't make out with that guy. Howard asked if he had any bagels today. Benjy said he did but he thinks people have two. Howard said he can eat 2 there but not bring them home. Jason said that he probably walks past 50 delis that he could get one from on his way home. Benjy said he gets Howard's point about the whole thing.
Gary asked where Benjy lives now. Benjy said he's in ''the dorm'' right now. Howard asked why he's moving around so much. Benjy said he's looking for something long term. He said he's sitting for a guy who is out of town. Howard asked why he doesn't get his own place. Benjy said he's trying to find a place. Howard said he didn't know he got a dog either. He asked what's going on. Benjy said the dog is in the dorm. He said he's taking good care of her. He said he thinks she's happy.
Gary asked where his stuff is at. Benjy said he got two closets at a mini storage place where he used to live. Howard said this is so odd. Benjy said he had a nice apartment for years and he's looking for another place. Robin said she's been sending his gifts there for 3 years. Howard said he doesn't have a permanent address. Benjy said he didn't like his address on file there. He said they were giving it out. Howard asked what he's talking about. Gary said it's for Christmas cards and gifts. Shuli said he looks like he's being tailed when he leaves there.
Howard said he has no problem with them having his address. Benjy said he'd have them all over. Jason said when he started working there at K-Rock they asked him to have Benjy fill out information for his birthday and he refused to do it. Howard said he doesn't have a wallet either. He said he has a plastic bag full of money. Howard said that's weird. He said he used to keep a sleeping bag and a pillow to sleep in here in the studio.
Gary said when they were on Madison Ave at K-Rock they had an office for Mel and Benjy slept in there one night. Benjy said he had a really nice office. Howard said he knows. He said it's like a chubby rat. He said he's shocked Mel didn't fire him. Gary said he had a lot of tolerance for the characters on the show.
Howard said this is the 20th anniversary of Benjy's first time on the air. Howard said last year Benjy posted pictures of his penis online. He said he wanted people to know that he had a beautiful penis. Howard said Benjy had with measured by Richard and he wanted it erect but he had a hard time getting it up for him. Howard played a clip of Benjy trying to get it up for Richard to measure.
Howard said his favorite part of that whole thing was Benjy falling out of a chair when he was trying to get hard. He let out a scream and a laugh while that was happening. Howard said imagine that the kids are living with him in a dorm. Benjy said he has his own room there. Howard asked what the hell is going on over there. He said it doesn't make any sense. Gary said he's sure that it's going on. He asked if he has a credit card and bills and stuff. Benjy said he has a PO Box. Gary said he can afford an apartment. Benjy said he can but he's looking for the right one.
Howard said Richard wasn't able to get an accurate measurement. He said Richard came in and explained what it looked like to him. Howard played a clip of Richard doing that.
Howard asked if he has fucked a girl in the dorm room. Benjy said he has not. Jason asked how he's getting the dog in there. Benjy said it's allowed in there. Howard said he remembers in college he saved his dad money by letting a student use his apartment. He said he was sleeping on newspapers on his bed when he came back. Howard said he should have bought a sheet. Howard said he kicked the guy out.
Gary said when they first met Benjy he was renting out an office in a building and he would sleep under a desk.
Howard asked if there are other people in the dorm with him. Benjy said some people do ask him if he's a student. Howard asked if he's depressed that he's 50 and living in a dorm. Benjy said he loves where it is. He said it's beautiful and it's a great place. He said if he could stay there it would be wonderful. He said the kids start school in a couple of weeks. Howard said he should enroll and leave there. Ronnie asked what happens when school starts. Benjy said he thought he had a place but he has to keep looking.
Howard asked if he eats in the dining hall. Benjy said no. He said they may not be open now. Gary said he doesn't know here he's going to be in 2 weeks. Gary said he's getting anxiety just thinking about it. Howard said he just want his own place. Robin said he can't have a girl home. Benjy said he could have girls here. Howard asked if he does laundry there. Benjy said he does. He said there are Co-Eds there too. Jason asked if he has an RA there. Howard said he could be like Van Wilder. He said he was in college for like 8 years. Benjy said if he saw this place he'd be impressed. Benjy said he knows what he wants to find but it's tough. Howard said it's not that tough.
The guys asked how old Benjy is. Benjy said he's going with 46. Howard said he's known him way too long to be 46. He said it's time to come out of the closet. Howard said he's living like a teenager. Gary asked what his deal is in that place. Benjy said he gets 5 1/2 weeks. He said it's a good deal for under 2 grand. Howard said that's not a great deal. Benjy said it is for Manhattan. He said it's a bedroom, dressing room and bathroom. Howard asked what a dressing room is. Benjy said he doesn't know but it's like a big closet.
Howard asked what's up with him not wearing a jacket. Benjy said he was mad at Ronnie for making fun of him yesterday. Ronnie said he has so much shit going on that the guys are making fun of him. Benjy said he has about 5 seconds to leave for work from the dorm. Benjy said he has coats in his bag. He said he has them with him at work. He said he puts it on when he leaves work. Howard said it's like 0 degrees out. Benjy said the cab is too hot so he doesn't need a jacket.
Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he knows he's into shtick but this is for real. Benjy said Ronnie gets so irritated by it all. He said he has his coats with him in his bag. Ronnie said he just doesn't understand it. He said it's fucking weird. Howard said he doesn't get it either. Benjy said he likes to feel that cold from the house to the car. Howard said that's weird.
Howard said this was Benjy's year in review. Howard said that's it for 2016. Benjy said it's 2017. Howard said he's not sure why he keeps saying 2016. Robin said that was a good year in review and it reminds them of who Benjy really is.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone from the show hangs with him outside the show or only at work. Howard asked the guys if anyone has a real relationship with him. Jason said no but he has to say he enjoys off air Benjy. He said he has talks with him in the hallway. Howard asked JD. JD said they talk here and there. He said he's not sure he's ever met the real Benjy.
Gary said he thought he met the real Benjy in the first 2 or 3 years but he just talks to him in the hallway there. Howard asked Ronnie if he's ever had him over. Ronnie said he has invited him but he never shows up. Brent said he has political debates in the hall as well. Shuli said he's tried to get him on stage with him but it never works out.
Gary said Benjy did come to a party at Stuttering John's house once but he had night terrors and woke up the baby. He said he never got invited again.
Robin had Benjy over to an event but just once. Howard asked if it bothers Benjy that he has no relationships there. Benjy said he's close to Richard and Sal. He said he was at Robin's house in the past year or so. JD said he was at Richard's wife's shower.
Howard said he has Chad who is Benjy's neighbor at the dorm. One of the guys from the office called in as Chad and said that they're having a kegger and they're wondering if he's coming. Benjy said he'll be there.
Howard said he will do another part of the year after a break. He said he has to do a review of Brent for the year too. He said he will do Wack Packers and more. They went to break after that.
- Denis Leary - October 23, 2017. 07/13/18. 9:00am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Denis Leary interview. Here's my rundown from that day:
Denis Leary Visits. 10/23/17. 9:00am
After the break they played a Baba Booey song parody, a George Takei album commercial parody, a Manly Tip from Richard Christy's Dad bit, a compilation of ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' mentions and Veruca Salt's ''Seether.''
Howard came back and said he has to drink some water before Denis comes in. Howard said he has a new book called ''Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches.''
Howard said Denis shakes hands. Howard said he's afraid of catching germs. Denis said he doesn't worry about it. He said Steven Wright is a good friend of his. Howard asked what happened to him. Denis said he's still around. He said Steven brought his own microphone out at a show he did with him. He said he was wearing gloves back stage. Denis asked how bad Howard's is. Howard said it's pretty bad. He said they call the Purell stuff ''Jizz'' and bring it along wherever they go. Howard said he gets cuckoo at the gym. He said he'd still worry about it even if it wasn't a work thing. Denis asked how it affects him with his wife. Howard said he can do anything with her. He said any woman he's around he can get past that. Denis said he's fine as long as it's pussy.
Howard said he goofs on Howie Mandel too. He said he's the same around women though. Denis said that's crazy.
Denis said that fucking Shuli and Tan Mom thing is so great. He said that he had to pull over in his truck. He said he wasn't able to drive. He said that he's better than tan Mom. He said you have to have Tan Mom on though. Howard said if they bring her in they have to have Shuli in there. Howard said it's a full on impression of her. Denis said he can't even describe how funny it is. He said Shuli is great at doing High Pitch Erik getting high too. He said when he changes the voice it's the best. Howard said it really is the best. He said Shuli has found his groove with the Wack Pack.
Denis said he had to pull over when he heard that. He said the Robert Plant thing was great too. He said he doesn't love him like Howard does. He said he knows how crazy Howard is about that band. He said he loves Zeppelin but it was more the Who, the Stones and Bowie for him. Denis said he has been listening to Howard for years with this build up. He said that no one had done any in depth interview with Robert Plant. Howard said that's a shame. Denis said they had this big build up and he was driving in his truck and had to leave in the middle of it. He said he caught another chunk a few days later. Then he heard the last chunk. He said when he got up to leave Howard stopped him and said he had to take a compliment because he had to tell him how much he means to him. He said he got a tear in his eye when he heard it. Howard said he was kind of tearing up when he said that.
Howard said music meant so much to him and they were like his prophets. He said they could elevate you. He said he thinks that it clicked for Robert and he didn't get it until then. Denis said it was a really powerful interview. Howard said it can never live up to what he wants it to be. Denis said that it was magnificent. He said no one has gotten him to talk about the past like Howard did. Howard thanked him for saying that. Denis said that the moment on the Kennedy Center Honors was about Bonzo. He said he was tearing up hearing that with Howard. He said that it was really powerful. Howard said it was great having him in there.
Howard asked if Denis has seen Springsteen's show yet. Denis said he hasn't. Howard said it was so great. Howard said he and his wife had such a powerful experience. He said that he does excerpts from his book and then performs and it was so powerful. Denis said he wasn't going to go see it but now he might have to. He said when Petty died he had a great quote about the only magic in his life being music. Denis said he writes about that in the book. He said that his kids have no idea who John Wayne was or who Johnny Carson was. He said the only thing that carries through with fame is the music. He said his kids know who all of these people are. He said the kids found it all on their own. He said that music carries on forever. Howard said he will live on.
Denis said that he gets mistaken for 7 other famous people. Howard asked who they are. Denis said Willem Dafoe is one. He said he signed an autograph for a guy and the guy didn't know who he was. He tough he was Willem Dafoe. The guy threw the thing in the trash. Denis said he didn't think it was the worst thing in the world. Howard said he's not Harvey Weinstein. Denis said then he got mistaken for Kevin Bacon. He said he gets that kind of. Howard said he gets mistaken for Reah Perlman. Howard said that and Fran Leibowitz.
Denis said he's getting mistaken up so far. Then he was doing Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. He said he was wearing a woman's leather jacket on and a lot of jewelry. He said he was talking down the street and this woman says she's his biggest fan. She asked for a picture so he had her come around the barricade. He took a selfie and she said that Glee is her favorite show and she's her favorite character. She thought he was Jane Lynch. Denis said then he's making a movie about football called Draft Day and he's got a short hair cut and chinos on. He said he comes out and he's walking down the street and there are lesbians everywhere. He said that a woman goes ''Oh my god! Ellen!'' He said that she thought he was Ellen Degeneres. He said he was like ''What the fuck?'' He said there was some convention going on with Lesbians and they thought he was Ellen. Denis said people were freaking out. He said he was Ellen for 4 seconds.
Howard said he has a whole list of people. Denis said that he was mistaken for Jon Bon Jovi. He said now that he's getting grey he doesn't get mistaken for him. Howard asked Denis if he colors his hair. Denis said not at all. Howard said he doesn't either. Howard said if he didn't have hair he'd have nothing. He said it's all he's got. Denis said he has the radio show too.
Howard said he asked Denis about music because it means so much to him. Howard said his book is called ''Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches.'' Howard asked what it's about. Denis said he does a charity show in Boston every year and it's him and a bunch of guys. He said he had the show 4 days after the election last year. He said he didn't vote for Trump but he didn't' like Hillary either. He said she sucked. He said that he wasn't a great candidate either. He said he voted for Hillary even though he didn't want to. He said that he has worked with Trump before and he thought he was white back then. He said now he's orange. Howard asked what that is. Denis said they should ask Tan Mom or Shuli.
Howard asked what he worked with Trump on. Denis said he did a cameo in 1999 or 2000 on a show he was doing. He said he was fine to work with. Howard said he liked him on his show too. He said he's not sure where this President thing came from. Denis said he's a different person now.
Denis said that Trump had this Make America Great Again thing going and in Boston there were Trump signs all over when he was up there. Howard asked how he survived all of this stuff that came out before the election. Denis said that Hillary was just an awful candidate. He said that Trump survived so much. He said Friday was the day that grab the pussy came out. The press were saying that he was done. Denis said knowing that Bill Clinton had sexual baggage he brought that up. He said that this was not a normal election. He said he brought it all back with the Bill Clinton thing.
Howard said Denis is listed as Dr. Denis Leary on his book. Denis said he is a doctor. He said that he went to Emerson College and he taught there. Howard said Denis met his wife there. Howard asked if he gave her special treatment there. Denis said ''fuck yeah!'' Howard asked what happened there. Denis said he was single at the time. He said he was doing stand up and some teacher got sick so they asked him to come back and teach a class. He said sure because it would be something great on his resume. He said he was doing this before MTV and all of that. He said he's teaching the class and he likes a lot of women. He said that his type is Julie Christie with a little Jackie Onasis thrown in.
Howard asked Denis about meeting his wife. Denis said that his cock had already told him who he was into. He said he turned around and saw this girl standing in the doorway. He said that she asked if this was the right class being taught by Professor Leary. He said he's not a professor but he tells her yes. He said she was in a mini skirt and carrying a puppy. He said she made him laugh and he was so fucked. He said that he taught for the whole term and he had to date her and then fuck her and try to keep her. He said they've been together for 30-something years. He said that he's monogamous like Howard. Howard said he is too.
Howard said he doesn't get the Harvey Weinstein thing because his wife is so hot. Howard said you'd think he'd just not do stuff like he was doing. Howard said he has a beautiful woman. He said it's got to be a sickness.
Howard asked if Denis' wife still calls him professor. Denis said not at all. He said he does like to call himself Doctor though. Denis said he got his because he's famous. He said they called him and told him they were doing this. He said he called his friend and told him that. He said his friend has like 8 of those. He said Cam Nealy has a few too. He asked if Howard is a doctor. Howard said no. Howard said no one is going to make him a doctor.
Denis said Howard should be a therapist guy. Howard said he still needs help. Denis said the way he interviews people he should be a therapist.
Howard had Denis get back to the name of his book. Denis said Trump resonated with the people. He said Hillary had nothing. He said she had ''Hillary for America.'' He said she should have just said ''Hey, it's my turn'' which is what she really meant. Denis said that he had friends who didn't know about the Bill Clinton thing. He said that they found out because of Trump.
Howard asked why we don't suck. Denis said that he was doing the stand up in Boston and he did what he was feeling. He said the audience was explosive. He said that they all realized that the process was a joke. He said the democratic party has to wake up. He said they still think that Bernie Sanders is the answer. He said he's not going to get elected. He said Bernie is almost 80. He said Joe Biden is 80. He said Elizabeth Warren is never going to get elected. Howard said maybe Oprah should run. Howard said he spoke to George Stephanopoulos and he sat him down and told him off the radio what he should do. Howard said he spoke to his wife Ali too. Howard said he did this off the air. He said that he knows their kids and they're fantastic. Howard said there's nothing in his personal life that's bad.
Howard said he wanted to get George to run. He said he liked Hillary and he backed her. Howard said she had experience and she had a command of the way to get things done. Howard said if they have a celebrity running against Trump it's going to be back to the same stuff that Trump is going through. Howard said they need someone with experience. Denis said he thinks those days are over. Howard asked if he thinks Al Franken would be good. Denis said that Franken is great. He said the thing is that they have these PACs and the debates and all of that. He said that it's all a waste of time. He said they should make it a reality show called America's Got Leaders. Howard said how about President Idol. Denis said that's great. He said that they could have a game show and they have judges for it. He said they start in August and on November 8th they vote by phone. He said that's how they find the President.
Howard said he agrees with him. Howard said he'd never run. He said even Trump doesn't want to be president. He said he had the life. Howard asked why he needs that. Denis said he thinks that he's got a sense of patriotism or something. Robin said he had everything else and this was the one thing he didn't have.
Howard said he wants to get back to rock and roll. He said he has a McCartney story to tell. Howard said being famous you get to meet certain people. He said McCartney must be one of his favorites. Denis said he talks about him in the book because it's about fame. Howard said he says in the book he wants to play Kellyanne Conway. Denis said he noticed that himself and he announced it to the world. He said Kimmel asked him to come in and do that but he was writing his book. He said he might do that for him.
Howard asked if he has ever hosted Saturday Night Live. Denis said he has been asked but refused to do it. He said he had friends on the show and he knows how hard they work. He said then some asshole comes in to host and he had too much respect for it to do that. Howard asked if he feels it's an insult to the people who work there. Denis said he would want to go in and work his balls off. He said if he promotes his book on Howard's show he's having a good time. He said on Saturday Night Live he has to work hard for 7 days. He said he's not going to go in and remember lines. He said he'll never host Saturday Night Live, ever.
Howard asked if he told Lorne that. Denis said he tried to explain it but he thinks they got pissed. Denis said he doesn't want to memorize lines. He said it's a complicated thing for him.
Denis said the reasons he wrote about music is because it's the eternal part of fame. He said that he wanted to talk about how ridiculous celebrity is. Denis said that Letterman came on the show and he came to realize that when you're done people forget about you. He said Craig Ferguson did a brilliant talk show and now he's out of it. He said that talk shows are so tough. He said they leave and it's gone.
Howard said he talked to John Stamos off the air and John told him that his fame will live on. Howard said he doesn't think so. Denis said he will. He said he'll be like Robert Plant. He said he's going to deny him this. Denis said that Howard did something special when he came here from regular radio. He said that there's an Ed Morrow kind of thing with Howard. Howard said he wanted to do something like that but he ran out of time. Howard said there's not enough time in the day.
Howard asked if it was hard writing a book. Denis said it was. He said he wrote a book before but this one was different. He said he wanted to write about all of this political stuff. He said that people have lost their sense of humor over this election. He said that we're not getting anything done with the different partisan view points. He said he's serious about the reality show. He said he thinks it would save us tons of money.
Robin said we used to have great men as their president. She said we're not going to find them with a reality show.
Denis said he mentions some people in the book. He said Oprah would be great. Robin said she won't run. Howard said as nice as she is we don't know that she can sit down and work policy. Denis said they can't do that with our current President. Howard said how about Caitlyn Jenner. Denis said he didn't think of her. Denis said Howard and Robin would be great. Robin asked if she has to run. Denis said of course.
Howard asked why women are superior to men. Denis said it's everything. He said every thing they measure they are superior to us. He said that's fine. Howard said he agrees with him on that. Howard said Betty Thomas directed his movie and she said she acted first and learned how to direct. Howard said men come out of film school and think they can direct.
Denis said that his memory is full of sports and music. He said he can't remember important stuff. Howard asked Denis about his favorite lyrics because his are the lyrics from a Zeppelin song. Denis said that they are great. He said that when Petty died he thought of one of his songs because it meant something to him.
Howard asked Denis about meeting McCartney. Denis said that he has heroes like that in his life and he met him. He said he left work one day and he had an Uber pick him up. He said the guy thought he was Kevin Bacon. He said it's always a conversation. He said it takes like 5 minutes. He said that he told him ''Yeah'' and the guy went on a whole thing about him dancing in Footloose. He said he was just sticking with it. He said the guy calls his wife on the phone and he puts him on with her. He said she goes nuts about Kyra Sedgwick. He said he keeps it up and he tells her about stuff that Kevin Bacon is doing. He said she was suspicious and he was like 6 blocks from his house. He said the guy Googles Kevin Bacon and he has to explain to him why he was lying to him. Denis said he was telling him who he is and the guy kicked him out of the car.
Howard said he loves that he went into his role. Howard said he should have told the wife that he was leaving Kyra.
Howard asked about McCartney again. Denis said that his mother is 90 years old and she's one of the most honest people. Howard said his mother just turned 90. Denis said maybe they'll live that long. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said Denis has to quit smoking. Denis said he has the e-cigarette now. He said he was going to quit smoking with that. He said that they're great. He said they're as close to real as you get. He said the problem is that he started smoking both. He said that he knows it's stupid. Howard said he should be able to quit. Howard said somehow Keith Richards is still going. Denis said he has a story about him in the book too.
Denis said he went to the White House and didn't smoke there. He said he did smoke in Bloomberg's office thoguh. He said they had an art deco ash tray in there and he had to just do it. He said he lit up and this guy saw him and he went to put it in the ashtray and he was told it was worth $35,000.
Howard asked again about Paul McCartney. Denis said his mother is not impressed by fame at all. He said she's happy that he's successful though. He said he had never met a Beatles. He said he was in his dentist's waiting room and Paul McCartney says ''Hey Denis.'' He said he flipped out. He said that Paul was saying he didn't want to bother him. He said he should have said he was but he didn't. He said he was on his phone and he should have asked who the fuck he thinks he is. Denis said that Paul said he had to come over and say hello. He said he almost shit his pants. Denis said he asked what he was doing there. He was getting his teeth worked on. Denis said he asked to see his teeth. He said he was just so overwhelmed with stupidity. He said Paul showed him his teeth. He said he just said ''Oh wow! They're so white!'' He said he asked to see his teeth too and they just walked away. He said he just douched himself out of knowing Paul McCartney.
Howard said he could have ended up having a life together. Denis said he could have been writing songs together.
Howard said if he met him like that he'd think he was a fucking weirdo. He said Paul must get that a lot. Denis said he called his mother after that and told her what happened. Denis said his mother asked if he thought he was someone else.
Howard said it would be so great if he did think he was Kevin Bacon and he thought Kevin Bacon was an asshole. Denis said that would be great.
Howard said Alan Thicke died recently and Denis knew him. He said he gave him some advice. Denis said that he told him to ''pass the puck asshole.'' They played hockey together.
Howard said he's glad he came out against vinyl. He said that's so great. Denis said they lived with it. He said there's a chapter called ''60 is the new Go Fuck Yourself.'' He said people are into vinyl and no one has room for it. He said people like Gary talk about it but it sucked. He said it wasn't good. He said when he was a kid they had to save up to buy an album. Howard said he bought The Band and it was warped and unplayable. Howard said it was 9 bucks and he got another copy like 7 months later. Denis said they melted albums if they sucked. Howard said he remembers the nightmares of vinyl. Denis said that they sounded great once. He said they degrade and sound like shit. He said when you move you have tons of shit to move.
Howard gave Denis another plug for his book. Denis asked if this is the end. Howard said it is. He said they've talked for an hour. Howard said they love him on the show. Howard said they have a good rapport. Denis said he could work here. He said he loves the guys there. He said one of the guys has a trash can desk. Howard said that's Benjy.
Denis said he had something else to bring up but he can't remember. Denis said that his wife knows Beth and they should try to get together. Howard said he'll go out to dinner. Denis said that would be great. Howard said he just said the thing. He said when he sees him at dinner he will hate him. Howard said people don't like socializing with him other than Kimmel. Howard said he'll ruin the relationship. Denis said that they have to get Beth to come out then. He said he can stay home. Howard said he's going to invite him to dinner.
Denis is doing a book signing on Thursday at Bergen PAC in Englewood, NJ. Denis said he's got the Comics Come Home show in November too.
Howard asked if he hangs out with anyone famous. Denis said he hangs out with Michael J. Fox and guys like that. He met him through Cam Nealy. He said that he is the best. He said that he makes him laugh and they hang out and go on vacation together. Denis said that he went to Turks and Caicos with him. Howard said he had to leave that place early because there were ants. Denis said it's the best. He said that Howard can't come on vacation with him. Howard said he wouldn't want him there. Howard said he and his wife were covered in ants. Denis said it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. Howard asked if he has ever lived in an ant farm.
Denis said he was on vacation with Michael and his wife. He said he hadn't seen Keith Richards for years. He said he had hung out with him years before. He said it was maybe 7 years. He said he thinks that Keith thought he was Kevin Bacon. He said he was on the beach in Turks and Caicos and he was sitting out by the water and he heard that Keith had a house down there. He said that he sees a head come out of the water and it's like a pirate getting out of the water. He said he has a tiny jean shorts on. He said he's walking toward him and he wonders if it's Keith. Denis said he walked up and asked him if he had any smokes. He said he had one and he lit it up and said it's a beautiful day and then walks off. Denis said he may still think he's Kevin Bacon.
Howard asked if he got to hang out with Mick Jagger. Denis said he did and he's the best. He said that guy is really charming. He said watching them work in rehearsal is amazing. He said they work their fucking balls off. He said they were with them for 2 weeks before their tour. He said they'd get up at 11 in the morning and work until 4 with no break. He said then they'd discuss the set list. He said that's why they're the best. He said they still care. Howard asked if he asked to see Mick's teeth back then. Denis said he didn't have to.
Howard gave Denis some more plugs for his book and the appearances they mentioned earlier. Howard asked if he did the audio book. Denis said he did. Denis asked why he never wrote another book. Howard said you never know. He said it's hard work. Denis said write a book about germs.
Howard said Denis and Michael J. Fox would hate him if they went on vacation with him. Howard said they had ants in the room in Turks and Caicos. Howard said they went to dinner and they had set off bug bombs in the room. Denis said he has to go back. Howard said no way. He said he likes Mexico. Howard said he stayed in a hotel and Kimmel stayed in a house with Jennifer Aniston and her husband Justin. Howard said he's a talented guy. Howard said they got to hang with them. Howard said he wasn't invited to stay there. Howard said they did invite him the following year. Howard said Jennifer was a lovely person. Denis said he's a big fan of her's. Howard said he stays to himself for the most part. He said he's awkward with people. Denis said they're getting along great today. Howard said if they bring microphones they'll be okay. Denis asked how much therapy he's going to now. Howard said it's 2 days a week now. Robin said he might have to go 3 days.
Denis asked how Howard got into see the Springsteen show. Howard said Jimmy invited him. He said that Jimmy was able to get tickets but Gary wasn't. Howard said he had issues doing that. He said he's pee shy. He said he doesn't want to talk about it because he talked about it earlier. Denis asked about it because he couldn't believe that he got up in the first song. Howard said he had to pee. He said thank god he didn't see. He said he was in the third row. Howard said he didn't want to tell the story again but he told the whole thing over again. Howard went into all the details about drinking coffee and not being able to pee. He had to get up at the start of the show.
Denis said that Howard is in the book. He said that he uses Squatty Potty because of Howard. He said that he's going to get up during the first song at the Springsteen show like Howard.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked about Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. He said that the first season was great being focused on him but then the second season wasn't so focused on him and it wasn't so great. Denis said he had to focus on the hot women in the show.
Howard had Shuli on the phone as Tan Mom talking to Denis. He had Denis cracking up with the impression. Howard let Shuli do his thing for a minute and Denis laughed the whole time. Denis said that guy fucking kills him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
- Imus Retiring / Eugene From Kentucky - January 22, 2018. 07/13/18. 10:15am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about Imus retiring and talked to Eugene from Kentucky. Here's my rundown from that day:
Don Imus Is Retiring. 01/22/18. 8:05am
After the break Howard came right back and said he was handed an official Tweet from Imus in the morning. Howard said March 29th will be the last Imus in the morning program. Howard said they'll have to celebrate. He said that party is over. Robin said it's one of the worst parties ever. Howard said it's the worst he's ever been to. He asked if anyone can still be listening to that guy. He said there are some people who are saying it was some party and they will miss it. Howard read some of the tweets he got in response to his tweet.
Howard said the guy is 77 so he understands. Robin said they do say the good die young and Imus is still going and getting old. Howard said people do say they'll miss him. Howard said he thinks Imus called Robin a ''spear chucker'' at WNBC. Robin said she's not even sure. She said he said a lot of things. Robin said he would sit in on Howard's writing meetings and on the show too. Howard said Imus changed his show because of that. Robin said Imus starting calling Howard's mom and having her on his show. Howard said he never understood half of what he was saying when he went to his talk format. He said he did a lot of voices and characters and then he went to talk after seeing them.
Howard said Imus never thanked him for giving him a new format. He said he would give credit to Wolfman Jack. He said that he doesn't need his comments but it would have been nice for him to come clean. He said he could have apologized for being so nasty and then becoming a big fan.
Howard said JD pulled some audio from Imus and said he had to cut it down because it was so boring. Howard played a clip and Imus really has that old man voice now. Howard said it's time to go.
Howard said that he is the inventor of How's your Donkey Kong and Moby Worm. He said he did that reverend Billy Saul Harguss too. He said Imus was fired in 2007 over a ''Nappy headed hoes'' comment.
Gary said that Jeff the Drunk has more followers on Twitter than Imus does. Howard said he should have retired 20 years ago. He said why not go on if they're still hiring you.
Howard said he thinks he's bowing out in 3 years. He said he's kind of envious that he's walking away. Robin said Howard isn't 77 though. Howard said he feels it.
Howard played more Imus audio and he said he can't get over that voice. Howard said some people think this could be a contract negotiation. He said he's not sure about that. Howard played more audio and commented on it as it played. Imus was giving details about his contract and how the company is going bankrupt so he won't be paid past March so that's why he's retiring then instead of in December.
Howard said he is much funnier now that he sounds like that. He played more clips of Imus talking about how he is paid and how the staff is paid. Howard said he must have new teeth or something. He did an impression of Imus slurring his words. He and Robin were trying to figure out what he was saying. Some of what he said was really hard to understand.
Howard said he's some broadcaster. Robin said he has made a great living at it. Howard did more of his impression of Imus. He played more audio of Imus making his announcement about his final show. Music started playing over him so Robin asked if he was being played off. Howard said he was.
Howard said they worked with Imus so long they know that he's waiving that finger at the engineer to play the music. Robin said it sounds like he was doing Tradio. Howard said he plays off his own show. He said he gets all fired up about that. Howard said he had to hear that again.
Gary said Brent was just showing him the ratings and that station has a 1.1 rating and they're just a fraction of a point above the country station. Howard said Imus used to say he had the wealthy audience. He said Imus lied about that stuff. He said that their audience was wealthier and wider than his.
Howard did more of his Imus impression and goofed on that announcement. Fred was also doing the impression.
Howard had an Imus fan on the phone. The guys in the back were doing an impression of an old woman talking about how edgy Imus is. She said he had a woman show her ankle on the show back in 1922. Howard said Imus has done a lot of characters like Moby Worm. Howard wondered if he'll bring that back to the show before he retires. The caller said that they don't make broadcasters who call their coworkers the N-word anymore.
Howard picked up on Sour Shoes who was doing his Imus impression. Howard spent a short time talking to him. Howard said it was very inspiring to work there with Imus at WNBC. Sour was talking about his hot sauce and mumbling through some stuff with Howard.
Howard said he heard he does his show from the ranch that's not in New York. Robin said She thought he sold the ranch. Howard said he heard he had to have warm weather. Howard said he thinks they've run out of things to talk about. Sour kept going with the impression but Howard said that's enough and hung up. They played a song parody that Fred did about Imus years ago.
Howard said it sounds like they're just not paying Imus anymore. He said he's being forced to retire. Robin said that they are going bankrupt. Howard said he's not sure who ''they'' are. Gary said it's Cumulus. Howard said he thinks they're bankrupt. Fred said their stock is like 9 cents a share. Howard said he smells a podcast in Imus' future. Howard said he's had a big career so good for him.
Howard said he remembers things about Imus that stick out in his mind. He said he met him and he remembers him being a dick. He said he thinks he was nervous he was going to take his job away so he gets that. He said Imus never missed a day of work once he joined. He said he used to miss days until he started. Howard said when he showed up Imus became a busy bee. He said it was a cosmic joke that he ended up there at WNBC. He said they hired him to do an edgy show on a family station. He said they never knew what they were getting. Howard said he remembers they forced him to meet Imus. He said Charles McCord was nasty to him. Once he got ratings he was nice. Howard said he gets it though. He was threatening them with his show.
Howard said when he got to NBC he was told how great Imus was and they told him to listen to his show. He said he would have gotten worse if he had.
Howard said they had a poster for the Imus show and they had a woman's eyes peeking through blinds at Imus. He said he's in such an insane business.
Howard said he wanted to go to New York so he took that job at WNBC. He said he figured it would all work out but it was horrible going through all of that. He said they sued to sell posters of Imus to the fans. He said they sold them for like $100. He said they ended up giving them away.
Howard said he was remembering that Imus would walk around all full of himself. Then he started wearing jump suits to work. He said it was like a jumper. Fred said it was a jump suit.
Howard said that they shot a commercial with him and Imus and Imus didn't want to be in it. He said they had to give him a Rolex to get him to be in it. He said he remembers how lame his show was and how he changed the format. He said that he surpassed him in the ratings and he woke up and changed his show. He said it's all water under the bridge. He said that they shook hands a couple of years ago when they saw each other in the street. He said it's kind of weird hearing that he's retiring in 2018. He said he was still making good money in radio.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said it was good radio back in the day when he was all fired up. He said he didn't know what the show was about but he was all fired up. Howard said he was angry because he was getting ripped off. He said he was just pissed.
Ralph said it was crazy that he didn't shoot the guy. Howard said he would go to work with a knot in his stomach. He said it hasn't been a pleasant career. Ralph said it was great to listen to though. Ralph said he was bringing in the ratings. He said it was crazy. Howard said Grant Tinker wanted nothing to do with him. He said Grant just anted him out of there. He said everyone there hated them and it trickled down to him.
Ralph said he remembers a great song parody they did about Imus that was to the tune of ''Addicted to Love.'' Howard said they might have to dig into the archives for that. Fred was looking for it. He said he thinks he found it. Fred played the song parody Ralph was talking about. It was about Imus being addicted to everything. Howard said that was with the band Pig Vomit.
Howard said that song goes on for 3 minutes. He said they really were angry. He said they've been shitting on that guy for 30 years. Ralph asked when that song was from. Howard said he's not sure but it must be from WXRK. Robin asked when they wrote it. Howard wasn't sure.
Howard said some guy managed to get on Long Island News 12 and he got the name Hugh Janus on the air. Howard played the clip and they had a guy claiming to be named Hugh Janus. Howard said the guy was quick and got that name in. He said they didn't catch it. He said bravo to whoever that guy is. Howard said it's so great when they put that up on the screen. He said he's not sure he'd ever think of doing something like that. He said you could write a book about that guy. Howard said Robin could use the name Anita Rimjob. Robin said she'll keep that in mind.
Eugene From Kentucky Calls In. 01/22/18. 8:35am
Howard said he has Eugene from Kentucky on the phone. He said Eugene sent him that gift and he had to get rid of it. Howard said his listeners told him it had creosote on it. Eugene said it didn't have that but he's okay. He said he's glad he liked it. Howard said he loved it. He said it was a coat rack made out of spikes from a railroad. Eugene said it was a nice piece of wood. He said he wasn't trying to hurt him. Howard said the fans told him it was the spikes that were in question. Howard said he was told that they were soaked in something. Howard said another guy wrote that the spikes aren't soaked in that stuff. Howard said that the railroad ties are the wood. He said the spikes don't have creosote.
Howard said that someone told him this stuff was harmless. He said he loved the coat rack but he got rid of it when he was told it could be cancer causing. Eugene said he understands. He said he wasn't trying to hurt him or anything. He thanked Howard for naming him the caller of the year. He said he threw a party for that.
Howard said he never takes gifts home and this was the one time he did it. He said that's a shame.
Eugene told Howard about how when he was growing up his mom would grab them and tell them that She kept square headed babies in the attic when they did something wrong. He said it scared him bad when he was growing up. Howard went over that story and tried to understand what he was saying. Eugene said you'd stop whatever you were doing if She said that. Howard asked if She was saying She gave birth to retarded babies or something. Eugene said he has been to counseling over it. He said he was thinking about it when they did the news story about the kids who were chained up in California.
Howard said he was thinking about those kids and how they took them to Disneyland once a year. He said they did something nice for them between all of the torture. He said that is so weird. He said they would once in a while take them to Disneyland. Howard said you go to the psychiatrist office and think about that and how they couldn't have been that bad.
Howard said it's like after your father fingers you he gives you ice cream. Robin said that's right. Howard said you wonder why the kids didn't run away. Robin said She was reading about how one of the kids went to college. Robin said the girl who was in school with him said he was very sweet but introverted. Robin said one day they had a pot luck kind of thing and he just stood there and ate plate after plate of food. Robin said when you're brainwashed at a certain age you're mentally captive.
Howard asked Eugene if he ever told his kids he had square headed babies in the attic. Eugene said he never did. He said he didn't want his kids to be that fucked up. Howard said maybe when you're that abusive to your kids you say you went to Disneyland. Howard said they had 13 kids so it was tough to feed and bathe them.
Howard let Eugene go and said if he's ever in town stop by. Howard said he never trusts a man with a Moe hair cut.
Howard had the 13 kids from California who talk in a monotone. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were all speaking together in a monotone. They were talking about how bad the orphanage is where they're staying. Robin would ask a question and they'd all tell her to shut up at the same time. The kids all asked if Howard has room for 13 cages in his house. Howard said he only takes care of cats. He let them go a short time later.
Howard said they sound a little better. Robin said it has to be weird for them to be in a new home with new rules.
Scott The Engineer And Tom Petty Updates. 01/22/18. 8:45am
Howard said Scott the Engineer is upset about an announcement that they made about raising the rates for coming into New York. He said that it's going up by $12. He said Scott is going to be bummed out. He did his impression of Scott getting upset about that. Howard said Benjy is all for the fee of course. He said he lives in the city so it doesn't matter to him. Howard said Scott is going to be more miserable than ever.
Howard said he has a new song parody about Scott called ''Never Hustle'' to the tune of ''Do the Hustle.'' He played the song that Scott actually performed himself. Robin said they call this ''congestion pricing.'' Robin said it's driving below 60th street. Robin said just don't bring the car down there.
Howard said the other sad news was that Tom Petty died of an accidental drug overdose. Howard said he was prescribed some stuff for pain and when you take it you have to be really careful. He said Tom had a bad hip and all of that. He said he wasn't one of those guys who jumped around a lot. Fred said when he was younger he did hop around a lot. Howard said a lot of guys jump around a lot and get hurt. He said he read about Prince and Eddie Van Halen getting injured from that. Howard said that's real sad that Tom died that way. He said he wasn't trying to kill himself or anything. He said maybe he didn't know how much he took. Robin said she's wondering what kind of mistake it was.
Comic Book Movies And TV Shows. 01/22/18. 8:50am
Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes the DC movies but they're not as fun as the Marvel movies and comics. He asked if he agrees. Howard said he doesn't know why they can't get their movie franchise together like Marvel did. Howard said he loved the early Batman movies and all of that. He said Iron Man and the Avengers and all of this stuff is so much better. He said DC was the original so it has to be frustrating. He said Superman isn't fun. He said he feels like he could direct but he's busy with this show.
Howard said they did a good job with Wonder Woman. The caller agreed but he said it seems like overall they don't do as good a job as the Marvel movies. Howard said that Marvel also hires the best people. He said getting Robert Downey Jr. to play Iron Man was genius. He said that was his big comeback and a lot of studios would have turned that down. He said that it turned out to be the best move. He said he's fun to watch. He said it's just cool with the whole thing they have going now.
The caller said he thought Black Lightning show wasn't that good. He said he thought it would be better. Howard said it is just a TV show. He said he likes it. Robin said in Gotham you see that they are spending the money.
Howard said that Black Lightning should be called Blue Lightning. He said it's weird how they call black characters ''black something.'' He said he has blue lightning though. The caller asked Howard thinks that the guy who plays Flash on the TV show is pissed he's not in the movies. Howard said he doesn't look like a super hero. He said he likes the guy though.
The caller said that Howard takes great cat photos. He said he saw the pictures he shared. Robin said his Christmas card was a cat too. Howard said he did that in black and white and Robin thought it was in color. Howard asked what's up with her.
Howard said his favorite story about Robin was when She named her cat Yoda and forgot that they had a cat named Yoda. Howard said he told her that they have a cat named Yoda and She had completely forgotten about it. He said She had read the book. Howard said Robin thought her cat looked like Yoda. Robin said She wasn't naming her cat after their cat. Howard said Robin renamed her cat after that. Robin said what Howard claimed he had a cat named Simba after She renamed her cat. Howard said you can't turn this around on him. Howard asked where the tape of that is. Robin said it might not have been on the air.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said one of the problems with the DC comic movies is the director they use for many of the films. He said she's very dark. Ralph said Jim Lee should call him for advice on that. Fred played Ralph off with music.
Gary told Howard that in the notes they have about the day Robin was told about Yoda She said She had compartmentalized the name even thoguh She had the book on her shelf. Ralph said that means she's crazy. They played a song parody about Robin naming her cat Yoda. Howard said other than that Robin is pretty normal. Robin said She keeps it together mostly.
Howard said he brings that up sometimes and he thinks it's weird. Robin said it is bizarre but it doesn't make her crazy. Robin said She thinks about it every day that She calls Simba. She said that he's used to the name now though. Howard said Robin is one of the most together people. He said it's like the 13 kids that were chained to the bed but they went to Disneyland once a year. Howard said that's weird. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.