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-- Breaking Howard Stern News --

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-- Friday Live Wrap Up Show --

  • Wrap Up Show - Simon Helberg Sits In. 01/23/15. 11:20am
    Jon Hein started the show with actor Simon Helberg from ''The Big Bang Theory'' sitting in. Jon said that Gary is also sitting in. Jon said that Simon is in a new movie called ''We'll Never Have Paris''.

    Jon played an intro clip with some clips from today's replays. It's their ''What You Need To Know'' intro clip. Jon said that they have Captain Janks, Hanzi, Ronnie and Bobo and Evil Dave in there. He said they also have Howard yelling at Gary. He said they have a poll up today asking ''Was Howard too hard on Gary for not knowing enough about his laxatives?'' that they'll have results for later.

    Jon asked Simon about being a long time fan of the Stern Show. He asked if it's surreal for him to be there. Simon said it really is. He said hearing the clip that he just played is like music to his ears. He said it lulls him to sleep. He said he loves listening and he has since he was about 10 or 11. He said he never wanted to know what anyone there looked like though. Simon said he could have looked them up but he decided not to. He said that he realized that Jon Hein was Jon Hein when he was sitting there talking to him. He said he's much healthier than Howard would lead you to believe. He said he's not sure why Howard is so mean to him. Jon said Howard does paint a picture for sure. He said that the visual could ruin the radio show. Jon said that Simon must get that from fans who assume he's the character he plays on Big Bang. Simon said that it is tough to go to Comic-Con and say you don't know the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. He said that the people will freak out. He said Jon must think it's odd that people know so much about his life.

    Jon asked Simon what he thinks Ronnie looks like. Simon described him like a gnome like Al Pacino. He said that he is a security guard but he's a tiny man. Jon said that's almost a perfect description. Jon asked what he thinks JD looks like. Simon said that he must look like a guy who is too old to work at a drive thru in Wisconsin. He said he has long hair and a t-shirt that's too old to wear. Jon said his descriptions are spot on and he doesn't need to see what they look like. They went to break after that.


  • Wrap Up Show - More With Simon Helberg. 01/23/15. 11:35am
    After the break Gary was sitting in. Jon said that Simon is sitting in too. Jon said Simon is a super fan of the show and they're talking all things Howard Stern related.

    Jon said that Gary turned him on to the Big Bang Theory. Gary said they met one of the show runners at comic-Con. He said he loves the show and he thinks Simon is great on it. He asked Gary who does the wardrobe. Simon said it's a woman named Mary Quigley. He said she likes to torture him. He said he sees the things hanging there and it's like he has to get into a slinky. He said that they have many ladies to help him get in and out of those pants he has to wear.

    Gary asked who on the staff are Howard Stern people. Simon said that Mayim, Melissa and Jim are fans. He said that they'll go over the day at work and it's very surreal to be there today.

    Jon asked if Kaley knows that JD is obsessed with her. Simon said he may have been the one to tell her about it. He said that he asked her if she listens and then she wrote back to JD and that all played out on the air. He said he's not sure how much she listens but he's sure JD has a shot. He said she did just get married to a tennis player but JD must have a shot. Jon said JD is taken now too though. He said he may not have a shot.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said he loved his role in Old School and what did he think about working with those guys in the movie like will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. Jon said Artie Lange was in that too. Simon said he dropped out of college and he did that movie that year. He said that he got paid to hang out with Will and Vince instead of going to school. Simon said that it was like his college hazing experience. He said Artie Lange came down and smoked a lot and grunted. He said it was wonderful. Jon asked if he knew Artie by then. Simon said he was on Mad TV so he knew what he looked like. He said that didn't shatter his world or anything. Simon said that today is blowing his mind though. He said just looking at Jon is blowing his mind.

    Jon said that Simon's mother on the TV show is like Howard's mother on Big Bang. He asked Simon if he does things like Howard would do with his mom. Simon said he does play a skinny Howard with a neurotic mother so he can't see any similarities. He said that Howard's impressions of his parents are amazing. He said he thinks there are some parallels there. He said that one of the show runners is a big Howard Stern fan and maybe that's where they come from.

    Jon said that Howard hears his mother's voice in his head and that's kind of what Simon's character's mother is like. Simon said it would be great if they never showed her. He said the woman who played his mother just recently passed away so they're going to be dealing with that on the show. He said they did an awesome job with her on the show.

    Jon took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she loves Simon and Big Bang Theory. She said that her husband turned her on to that. She said that it is the greatest show on TV. She said she constantly watches it and loves it. Simon said if she cleared her throat would she sound like Lauren Bacall. Mariann said no. She kept talking and it sounded the same. Gary said if Simon saw her she'd be blown away. Simon said he did actually. He said she tweeted him and he saw what she looks like. Mariann said that he's incredible and she loves that she's talking to him. She said she loves the show and he gives her a lot of pleasure. She said that Jon Hein picked up on her too. Simon said her poor husband... He said that he has a migraine now. He said there was so much joy and so much decibel.

    Gary said he wants to do a documentary on Mariann's husband. He said he wants to see what he does all day while she's doing her thing. Gary said that Mariann doesn't want to be involved in her hobby. Simon said his hobby must be looking for another wife.

    Jon mentioned the poll they have going and asked Gary if he thinks Howard was too hard on him. Gary said this is a skewed question. He said he needs to know what's going on with the show but he didn't hear that whole discussion. He said he has to handle Howard's needs and he should be there for him. Jon asked Simon if he thinks Howard was too hard on him. Simon said he's not sure if this is outside of the job description. He asked if Gary has to know or help with the suppositories. Gary said he has to be there for Howard and he has helped him with many things that he doesn't have to do. He said he just gets the job done. Gary said he's like the cleaner in Reservoir Dogs. Simon said he hopes that Howard's procedure went as smoothly as possible. He said it sounds torturous.

    Jon asked Simon if he enjoys hearing those discussions. Simon said that he did. He said he had a moment when he realized he had that he had one done at 17. He said it was awful. He said he thinks he told his dad and his dad told him that's what they do. Simon said he doesn't think they do that in high school though. Simon said he may mention that guy to Benjy though. Gary said they do things that need to be done when they actually need to be done. Simon said he thinks he just had his braces off so he didn't really have any issues. Jon said they had to take a break after that.


  • Wrap Up Show - Gary Bashing And More. 01/23/15. 11:50am
    After the break Jon gave Simon a plug for ''We'll Never Have Paris.'' Simon and his wife directed the movie together. He said that it's their story. Simmons said he had the perfect girlfriend and he tried to go out and sew his oates and it didn't work. He said he went back to her and tried to win her back. He said that the movie is that story. He said that the whole thing is as humiliating as Gary's tape. He said that it would be like Gary going back and re-recording it for a movie. Simon said it was a painful comedy.

    Jon said that it's not like Gary's tape plays over and over on the show. Gary said that he's on YouTube but this guy is a star who is in movies and TV shows. Simon said if you want to laugh at his pain you can see the movie ''We'll Never Have Paris.''

    Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard does the same thing to Gary off the air that he does on the air. Gary said that Howard doesn't talk to him off the air the way he does on the air. Gary said that Howard saying he's so disappointed in you is worse than saying something else. Simon asked if he ever apologizes to him about any of that. Gary said mostly they just don't say anything. He said there were a couple of times that he did say he was just giving him a hard time. Gary said there have been times that he yelled at him on the air and it was so piercing. He said that Howard just moves on and keeps going with the show. Jon said that it's just business as usual.

    Jon asked Simon about the other people in the studio like Robin and Benjy and if they are under or over appreciated. Simon said he thinks that it's an apt amount of appreciation. He said he doesn't know what Benjy looks like. Jon asked him to describe him. Simon said that he pictures him blotchy with a spherical head and cherub like. He said he pictures him blonde with a shaved head and a mid-western-y kind of guy who could stand in for Brad Pitt at some point. He said you never see that face though.

    Jon asked what he thinks about this whole weight loss thing. Simon said it must be the fear of Big Foot's dick entering him to scare him into losing the weight. He said he'd love to see a commercial for something like that.

    Jon asked if Simon has a favorite Wack Packer. Simon said Riley Martin comes to mind. He said that sometimes he just mutters ''Suckamufagus'' to himself like Riley said once. He said last time he heard him he wondered if he was alright. Gary said he heard he may have had ''food poisoning'' last night. He said it may have been severe. Simon asked if that's a euphemism. Gary said yes. Simon said that guy is a gem.

    Jon took a call from a woman who said she doesn't think Benjy and Brad Pitt belong in the same sentence. She also said she thinks that Jason took a lot of shit from Howard this week. She said she felt bad for Jason. Gary said he thought Howard was tough on him but not brutal. He said he's seen him go off on people worse than that. He said he thinks that he was pretty hard on him though.

    Jon said that Howard just expects you to lose the weight and that's that. Jon said it's easy for him but not so easy for the rest of them. Simon said he gets the frustration and you just can't argue with that discipline that Howard has.

    Jon said that the poll results are in. He said 72 percent said that Howard was too hard on Gary. Jon said that the audience is with Gary this time. Gary said that's surprising. He said that he will do anything that the boss needs. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and played a clip from the show when Beetlejuice rode a motorcycle into the studio. The guys got in some plugs and wrapped up with Simon and Gary. They were done around Noon.

-- Thursday Live Wrap Up Show --

  • Wrap Up Show - Three Minutes, Then A Break. 01/22/15. 11:00am
    Jon Hein started today's live Wrap Up Show playing an intro bit with some of the segments that aired today. Jon also said they have a poll up today on asking if Ass Napkin Ed should run for mayor. Jon asked the listeners to call in about the segments that aired today and then went to break.


  • Wrap Up Show - Jason's Weight And Ass Napkin Ed. 01/22/15. 11:10am
    After the break Gary was on with Jon. Jon said he wanted to start off with the weight conversation. He said Howard was approaching colonoscopy time so he was looking to strike. He said he wonders if Howard was giving Jason tough love. Jon asked what the best way to handle Howard is when he's trying to do that in the best way. Gar said that Jason handled it just fine. He said he knows he's got to lose the weight and he's working on it. Jon said it's one thing to say you're going to do something. It's another to do something. Gary said with Howard they all have weaknesses. He said everyone but Howard has one. He said Howard has no tolerance for weakness. He said Howard would tell a heroin addict ''just stop.''

    Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard is built like Skeletor and he wonders what it is that made him like this. Gary said he's told the story many times. He said that his parents did sit him down and tell him he was fat. He said they wanted him to live a long life and not be fat. Gary said Howard, Robin and Fred went to a Rolling Stones concert and someone was yelling ''Sit down fat ass'' behind him and he didn't realize the guy was yelling at him.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jason has to make small steps. He said he can't just flip a switch like Howard. The caller said it took him a while to get to that point himself. He said he started out slow doing walks and eventually running. He said that Jason is a young guy and he has to get motivated. Jon said he thinks Jason needs a more concrete plan than he has. He said that he needs the steps and he has to start taking them. Gary said it's pretty simple. He said you eat less and exercise more. He said over a long period of time you'll lose weight. He said over a period of time that will do it. Gary said that there are a lot of companies that are doing well with diet plans that don't actually work. He said it's pretty simple to do it yourself.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard has gotten a lot of attention for his interviews lately and he wonders if it's a result of years of therapy. Jon said he thinks so. He said Howard has always been a good interviewer but he's said he has learned to listen better over the years. He said that he doesn't make it about himself as much as he has in the past. He said he thinks therapy helped with that. Gary said Howard has an hour to talk to people and he thinks he's using that full hour. He said that Howard has learned to listen to people too. He said that he treats it like they're just talking. He said he thinks the audience appreciates that. Jon said Howard gives everyone the same respect in there too.

    The caller said there has been a lot of discussion about the Wack Pack and who the best ones are. He said he thinks that the true Wack Packer has to do with the flow of the relationship with the show. He said if the Wack Packee is more interested in being on the show than the show is interested in them then they're not really a Wack Packer. He said that Bobo and Mariann want to be on the show more than the show wants them on. He said some of the others like Eric the Midget, Hank the Dwarf and Beetlejuice are the ones that the show wants more than they want to be on. Gary said the reluctant ones are the most interesting and he thinks the caller is right. Gary said he doesn't think Hank gave a shit. He said that they call Big Foot more than he calls them. Jon said Eric needed and wanted the show but he acted like he didn't care. Gary agreed with that. He said there were times that he'd go months without calling them.

    Gary said Elephant Boy and Crackhead Bob became a part of the show. He said he thinks it starts out with them courting them.

    Jon got in a mention for the poll they have going on today. Jon said he wants to talk about Ass Napkin a bit too. He played a clip from when Ed was on the show explaining his ass napkin.

    Jon said that Jon Leiberman is joining them to talk about Ass Napkin. Jon asked if he can run and win for Mayor. Leiberman said they heard about Ed running and Shuli did some digging into that. Leiberman said they found out that Ed was actively inquiring about what he had to do to run for mayor. He said this particular town asked about what his qualifications were. Gary asked why he didn't run in his own town. Leiberman said that Ed thought he had a better chance of getting on the ballot there. He said he sent in the qualifications and he mentioned that he had things like how he was a security guard and he liked to order pizza from home as qualifications. Leiberman said Ed went to other areas trying to run for office. Gar said he thinks there are a lot of people who aren't qualified. He asked what they were looking for. Leiberman said Ed was serious about all of this. He said he did have some misspellings and grammatical errors in his submission. He said that he mentioned the porn star thing and stuff like that in there too.

    Jon said Howard talked about how there's a town that has a cat for mayor. He said Ed just needs to find the right town. He said he could end up holding office. He said that kind of thing does happen.

    Gary said maybe Ed would make a great mayor in Idaho. He asked if Ed would move. Leiberman said that Ed told them that he will take the bus to the town to work there every day if he has to. Leiberman said Ed has his routine down in his home town and he has the pizza place set up so he can walk down and pick up his pizza and they'll drive him home. Gary asked if he understands that he could get a better deal if he lived in the town that he's mayor in. Leiberman said he may need some advisory help. He said he needs help honing his message and getting that message out in a coherent way.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said that he knows everyone has an opinion on the Jason weight thing. The caller said at age 50 he started gaining weight. He said he just saw a movie about being fat and he went on a juice diet. He said he lost 20 pounds in 6 weeks. Jon cut him off and said that's great but all of these special diets aren't what they're looking for.

    Jon asked Leiberman if he thinks that Ed can achieve his goal. Leiberman said he thinks if he takes it seriously he could. Leiberman then went into his Howard 100 News headlines before the guys went to break.


  • Wrap Up Show - Jan Hein The Lesbian. 01/22/15. 11:30am
    After the break Jon took a call from a guy who said he's wondering about the Jon and Jane Hein thing and if they go to Jon first or do they just go do it. He asked what Jon thought of it too. Jon said he was aware of what Sal thought of him. He said part of it is embarrassing too. He said he has no choice but to laugh at it. Jon said he doesn't really care one way or another.

    Gary said that he was thinking about Captain Janks not being attracted to him and he was thinking about how he is flattered when someone good looking is attracted to him even if it is a man.

    Jon said with the Jan thing it doesn't really bother him. He said it only bothers you as much as you let it bother you. He said Gary has a lot of things that they goof on him about. He said it's some form of flattery in a way. Gary said that he used to have gay guys hitting on him all the time. He said on some level it's kind of nice to be thought of.

    Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the American Sniper movie and what Howard has said about that. He said that Howard's take on it is that you have to honor veterans with a movie but he doesn't think that's the case. Jon said he thinks the box office showed a lot for that. He said the movie was very good and Clint Eastwood and Bradley Cooper did a great job. He said that he thinks you should worship the warriors because they are protecting this country and protecting you. Jon said they're laying their lives down so they can do what they do on this show.

    Gary said he went to Afghanistan and Jeff Ross told him that it would be life changing for him. Gary said he didn't think that would be the case but when you go there you see these people doing their job. He said he got to see the people who defend this country in places that no one wants to go to. He said he thinks that it does deserve to be honored. Jon said Howard has always been that way and has been fans of anyone who protects us.

    Jon said they have the poll results for the Ass Napkin Ed thing. He said that 82 percent said no, Ed should not run. He said 17 percent said that he should run. Gary said he would move forward if he got those numbers. Jon said they wish Ed luck with that run. They wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 11:40am.

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-- Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Martin Luther King Jr. Day Holiday Special. 01/19/15. 7:00am
    • Howard Tries On Spider-Man Costume - May 3, 2002. 01/19/15. 7:00am
    • Stuttering John's Party - June 24, 2002. 01/19/15. 7:05am
    • Who Knows Howard Best - October 13, 2008. 01/19/15. 7:40am
    • Dice And Jackie Fight - March 12, 1996. 01/19/15. 9:05am
    • Howard And Gary Trivial Pursuit - March 13, 1996. 01/19/15. 9:25am
    • Fred Durst & Beetlejuice - January 28, 2002. 01/19/15. 10:00am
    • Rappin Granny - August 4, 2003. 01/19/15. 10:45am
    • Robin's News. 01/19/15. 11:00am
    • American Sniper Discussions. 01/20/15. 7:00am
    • New Bits, Clips And More. 01/20/15. 7:05am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 01/20/15. 7:15am
    • Benjy's Weight Loss Challenge Update. 01/20/15. 7:25am
    • Pete Wentz Visits. 01/20/15. 7:45am
    • Howard's Colonoscopy Misery. 01/20/15. 9:05am
    • TV Show Discussions. 01/20/15. 9:15am
    • Phone Calls, Bad Audio, New Technology And More. 01/20/15. 9:30am
    • Top 5 Songs, Email, Big Foot Dating Update And More. 01/20/15. 9:45am
    • Dan Aykroyd Coming Soon. 01/20/15. 9:55am
    • Isaac Mizrahi Insists The Moon Is A Planet. 01/20/15. 10:00am
    • Where's Richard Simmons? 01/20/15. 10:05am
    • Robin's News. 01/20/15. 10:15am
    • Wrap Up Show - Jan Hein And More. 01/20/15. 11:20am
    • Wrap Up Show - Pete Wentz, American Sniper And More. 01/20/15. 11:30am
    • Wrap Up Show - Colonoscopy, Pete Wentz And More. 01/20/15. 11:45am
    • Howard's Upcoming Colonoscopy And Jason's Weight. 01/21/15. 7:00am
    • The Honorable Ass Napkin Ed Calls In. 01/21/15. 7:25am
    • More Colonoscopy Prep Talk. 01/21/15. 7:45am
    • Evil David Letterman Calls In. 01/21/15. 8:00am
    • Ronnie's Fear About Colonoscopies. 01/21/15. 8:20am
    • Hanzi's Fascinating Snore. 01/21/15. 8:30am
    • JD Explains The Funkmaster Flex And Jay Z Fight. 01/21/15. 8:55am
    • Phone Calls, Audio Clips And More. 01/21/15. 9:10am
    • Captain Janks Finally Goes All The Way. 01/21/15. 9:20am
    • Pat Robertson Poll Results. 01/21/15. 9:35am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls, Plays Some Audio Clips. 01/21/15. 9:55am
    • Robin's News. 01/21/15. 10:15am
    • Wrap Up Show - Nick Kroll Sits In. 01/21/15. 11:10am
    • Wrap Up Show - Evil Dave And More. 01/21/15. 11:20am
    • Wrap Up Show - Howard's Dulcolax. 01/21/15. 11:40am
    • Thursday Live Wrap Up Show. 01/22/15.
    • Wrap Up Show - Three Minutes, Then A Break. 01/22/15. 11:00am
    • Wrap Up Show - Jason's Weight And Ass Napkin Ed. 01/22/15. 11:10am
    • Wrap Up Show - Jan Hein The Lesbian. 01/22/15. 11:30am

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