- Vacation Replay Shows - Day 4. 11/23/17. 7:00am
Howard is off for the Thanksgiving holiday. They're replaying segments from the last year or so this week. Here's what they played today:
- Vocal Fry - January 18, 2017. 11/23/17. 7:00am
First up on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about the vocal fry epidemic. Here's my rundown from that day:
TV Show And Vocal Fry Discussions. 01/18/17. 7:00am
Howard started the show asking if anyone was in the mood to do a show. He said he's not. He was up at 3 in the morning. Howard said he caught up on some TV. He said he watched some Rolling Stones documentary that might have been the worst he's seen. He said it was horrible. Robin saw it too and said the same thing. Howard said it was like bands worshiping them. He said they didn't need to do a documentary about that. Howard said there was nothing about the Rolling Stones. He said Mick was walking down the street talking about how hard it is to do that. He said it was the worst documentary he's ever seen. He said he'll watch anything with them in it but that was bad. Howard said they had people in Brazil talking about how much they worship the band and it wasn't good.
Robin said there was a lot of vocal fry on The Bachelor this week. Howard said he heard that. He said he had JD pull some clips. Howard said he asked JD to do that last night. Howard had some clips to play. He said it's becoming an epidemic. Howard said Robin sometimes starts to do it and she can't fall into that. He said she has a great voice. Howard said he'd throw her right off the show. He said he didn't hire that.
Howard said there's something weird going on. He said if you read Dr. Sarno's book there was no back pain before World War II. He said then it became an epidemic. Howard said Dr. Sarno goes into the why about that. He said vocal fry became a thing and you can't understand why it spread so quickly. He said psychologists think it makes women feel more intelligent. He said it's mostly in women who aren't so smart who want to feel smart.
Howard played some clips of some of the women on The Bachelor doing the vocal fry thing. Howard had a clip of Andy Cohen talking about how this is about to get very gay. Howard said it's no though. Howard played some clips of these women talking and having this vocal fry thing. One of the women was Liz. Howard said they got rid of her thank god. Howard played another one where the girl had a lot of vocal fry while talking about something happening over and over. Howard did an impression of the vocal fry. He played another clip and it was really bad in that one. Howard said one of their parents must be a frog.
Howard played a clip of a woman that Robin was talking about. Fred played a frog sound while she was speaking. Howard said she's so bad you can't understand what she's saying. Fred played the frog sound again.
Howard said the women of low IQ are doing this. He said the women on that show have to be low IQ if they're looking for a man on a TV show. Howard said the idea of going on a TV show and throwing yourself at a guy to beat out other girls is mind blowing. He said he loves the show though. He said it's a train wreck.
Howard played another Bachelor clip and the guy, Nick, was seen by the women and they freaked out. Robin said this is like meeting someone on a movie set. She said they cater to every need and then reality hits when it's all over. Howard said if he gets engaged it ruins his career. Robin said this is the 4th time he's done one of these shows. Howard played more of the clip and the girls were all fawning over him. Howard said he had a dream about what it would sound like if he was on that show. It was women screaming and horror music playing.
Howard asked JD what this clip is. He saw one of a reporter who had vocal fry. Howard said this is a NY Times reporter. JD said she was on this show called Democracy Now. Howard said she must be fairly bright to be a reporter. Howard asked why she's doing it. JD said he didn't know. Howard played the clip and she had a tiny bit of vocal fry. Howard said it's not that bad. Robin said it's creeping into the entire generation. Howard played the clip again and she did have a bit of it. Howard said that's not too bad.
Howard had another clip of a guy who has vocal fry. It was one of Memet's friends. Howard started to play it and said if guys start doing it he's done. Howard played about a second of that and cut it off.
Howard had another clip of a guy doing it on Project Runway. Howard said the guy is dressed as a woman so maybe that's why he was doing it. Howard played that and laughed as he heard it. Robin said maybe women should listen to this and it'll teach them not to do it. Howard played more of that guy doing it and said maybe a penis poked his vocal chords.
Howard said speaking of strange voices, he thinks George Takei is working too hard. He said he was interviewed by Yahoo News. He said that he's defending Muslims and you have to hear his voice. Howard played a clip of George talking to a reporter and his voice was shot. He could barely speak. Howard said he's obviously ill. Howard said he should have rescheduled. Howard said he'd throw him right out if he showed up. Robin said something and she had some vocal fry so Howard said he can't bust her balls too much. Robin said she'll have to start watching that. Howard said she doesn't need that. Howard said she's an intelligent woman. Robin said maybe she wants to sound young. Howard said it makes her sound old.
Howard played more of George Takei trying to speak with his shot voice. Howard laughed. He said it's so important that he get that out. Howard said maybe he has one of Brad's pubic hairs stuck in his throat. Howard said he loves George. He said his message is so important he had to get it out even though he can barely talk. Howard did an impression of George speaking. Howard said he can't get over the fact that he was taken to a Japanese American Internment Camp when he was a child. Robin said there is talk of a Muslim registry.
Howard played more of George talking and said that no one really gives a shit. Howard said he could have waited 2 days for his voice to clear up. He said that he lost all credibility when he grabbed Jason Ellis' penis in there. Howard said his voice was fine that day. Howard asked Fred to find the clips of George talking about how beautiful his cock was. Howard said his voice was fine that day and clear as a bell. He said that's the George he loves.
Howard took a call from a guy and Fred played the ''Hey boner'' George Takei clip. Howard said they should do a whole day of that. The caller asked what it's going to take for him to stop watching The Bachelor. Howard said he likes it. He's not going to stop. The caller asked what it would take. Howard said nothing as long as there are hot chicks vying for a dude he's there. The caller asked if Simon Cowell was the host. Howard said he'd stop watching then.
Football And Phone Calls. 01/18/17. 7:20am
Howard asked why the San Diego Chargers went to L.A. Gary said it's because San Diego wouldn't build them a stadium. Gary said they moved to Los Angeles because of that. Howard said that he saw some San Diego fans crying over the move. He said just get over it and follow another team. Howard said he saw the Detroit Lions a couple of times and it was horrible. Howard said they were indoors and it wasn't too bad. Howard said no one on the team is going to miss the fans. Howard had some clips of some people crying over the move.
Howard said now Los Angeles is going to have two shitty teams. He said the game is going to be banned soon anyway. Howard said the players are getting Alzheimers from concussions by the age of 30. He said he wouldn't want that on his head. Howard said he tried to talk to Jon Bon Jovi about that. Howard said he wouldn't want that responsibility. He said fuck that. He said he knows Jon is passionate about it though. Howard said he wouldn't want to own a team. Robin said he sees it as the guys doing it as their own choice. Howard said many of the players aren't any smarter than a Bonsai tree. Robin said there are plenty of them making a good living and having a great life. Howard said the world is divided by people who have a brain and those who don't. He said there are a lot of morons out there.
Gary said that Bo Jackson came out and said he wouldn't have played football and he wouldn't let his kids play. Howard said of course not. Howard asked on what planet you'd put your son into a football league to break his neck or have water on the knee or something. Howard said just play tennis or something. He said that's a nice sport. He said there is money in it. Robin said Field Hockey. Howard said that's for pussies. Howard said play golf and you won't get brain damage. Howard said you can socialize when you play these other games.
Howard said their general manager would play golf and get people to advertise on the show. Howard said that's the way to do it. Howard said that's a social game. Howard said he knows some guys who can barely walk after playing football or basketball. Howard said it's brutal on your knees. Howard said that he played the penis his whole life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that he vocal fry thing came from women trying to sound bored. He said it came from the valley girl kind of thing. Howard said he's going with the psychologists and what they're saying it is. Howard said the caller has a good point about the valley girl thing though. He said back in the 40s they spoke really fast and in a unique way. The caller said he's hearing a lot of men speaking with the vocal fry thing. He said he does a lot of interviews with younger people.
The caller also corrected Howard on the name from The Fly. He said it's Brundle and not Brindle. Howard thanked him for the correction. Howard said he should know that. He said that's embarrassing. He said he always thought it was Brindle. Howard said it's too much football.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the Kardashian's brought the vocal fry thing to everyone. Howard said he doesn't think they invented it. The caller said they did help spread it though.
Howard said that King of All Blacks is on the phone and he wants to apologize. Howard asked for what. King said he called that dude Rahsaan a ''coon'' yesterday. He said it bothered him yesterday. Howard said that's not cool to call him a ''coon.'' King said that it should be said to some people who deserve it. He said they have to be black. Howard said he doesn't know this guy though. He said he called him that and it offended him. Gary said Rahsaan is on the Wrap Up Show with them and he said that King doesn't represent the black community very well. Howard said he didn't want to hear it yesterday. He said King ruined what Martin Luther King did in just one day.
King said there are people who do certain things that make you call them a coon. He said that's what he was thinking with Steve Harvey when he met with Trump. Howard said maybe he's trying to make him more racially sensitive. King said he just did it to get more basketball courts in the inner cities and things. Howard asked what's wrong with that. King said what they need is books and learning, not basketball courts. Howard said he has to go. He thanked him for the apology.
King said he thinks he knows why Howard wakes up early. He said its his fear of dying. Howard thanked him and hung up.
Howard had a clip of a guy talking about how black people should be thanking white people for freeing them. Howard said that's like him thanking someone for getting raped in the ass and the guy stops in the middle of it. Howard said this is the governor of Maine. Howard played another clip of the guy talking about what ''these people'' are doing. Howard said that Maine is beautiful. He said he loves it but this kind of ruins it. Howard went to break after that.
- Lance Armstrong - March 6, 2017. 11/23/17. 7:35am
Next up on today's vacation replay show they played a Lance Armstrong interview. Here's my rundown from that day:
Lance Armstrong Visits. 03/06/17. 8:55am
After the break they played a commercial parody for an all animal channel at SirusXM. They also played a phony phone call that the guys made to a woman using clips of Gary using lame pick up lines. They also played a clip from the movie ''Private Parts'' where Pig Vomit was teaching Howard how to say ''WNBC.'' They played a song parody about JD jerking off. They played Metallica's ''The Unforgiven.'' They also played a phony phone call that High Pitch Erik made to a pharmacy asking for help with his stomach pains which turned out to be a baby. They played a song that Julian Vellard performed on the Wrap Up Show about JD's engagement.
Howard came back and said that everyone loves that song. He said David Spade loves that as his favorite. Howard said Lance Armstrong is there. He said that Lance is the only bicycle rider he's ever known the name of. Howard said he's there to promote his podcast. Howard said everyone has one these days. Lance said he heard Howard is a big fan of podcasts. Howard said it's like if everyone said they could ride a bicycle fast. Howard said everyone has a radio show now. He said he had to work at it for years. He said it's not fair. Lance said he has one so he's not sure what to say. Howard said it's like if he just hopped on a bicycle and won the Tour de France.
Lance said that Howard ended up at some station and he eventually ended up there. Lance said he doesn't think he has any chance of putting Howard out of business. Howard asked what he does on the podcast. Lance said he interviews people for an hour. Lance said he can travel with his gear too. Howard said you can find it at LanceArmstrong.com. Lance said that it's also on iTunes.
Howard said Lance is the only big name he's ever heard in bicycle racing. Lance said there were others. Howard said Lance was the greatest ever. He said he broke through. Lance said that he was sick and that elevated it to the level he got to. Howard said a doctor found that his heart can handle stress more or something. Howard said to have that kind of endurance its remarkable. Howard said the Tour de France goes on for like 20 days. Lance said it's 3 weeks. Howard said he has to ride for 5 hours a day. He said he has to do that every day. Lance said you don't have to win every day. Howard said it's quite an accomplishment. Howard said they did find something with his heart. Lance said there are always these stories. He said anyone who is in the Tour has strengths like that. Lance said there are other things that can help. He said at the end of the day it all matters but luck is so important.
Howard asked about a race that he was in and he crashed because of a fan handing him something. Lance said he wasn't handing him anything but it was a kid who was waving a bag and his brake caught it and he went down. Howard asked if he knew he was going down. Lance said he shouldn't have been that close. Howard said it looks like they're really close out there. Lance said they are and it happens all the time.
Howard asked lance about being a good athlete as a kid and how he changed to bike riding instead of playing football or anything. Howard said he got into swimming and bike riding. Lance said swimming was big for him first. He said he was top 5 in the state in his age group. He said he was 13-14 years old. He said he wasn't going to be the next Michael Phelps or anything. Howard asked who coached him. Lance said that they are super disciplined around the country. He said that it's 6 miles a day that they swim. He said if you start that young and you have the right coach then you can do well. He said you have to start young or it ain't gonna happen.
Howard said he remembers riding his bicycle at 12 years old and how he could get out and go visit friends. Howard said that when you look at Lance's home life it was kind of shitty. He said his biological dad left when he was young. Howard said his mom remarried and he adopted lance. Howard said he was a bigger fuck than his biological dad. He yelled at him and beat him. Lance said that it's interesting to look back on it now that he's 45. He said he didn't know the biological dad. He said he was like 18 when he was born. He said he was out of there. Howard asked if they had child support. Lance said they weren't in that position. Lance said his mother did anything she could to support them. Howard asked if she broke his heart. Lance asked how. Howard said she was a young woman and she had to work her ass off. Lance said he was only 2 or 3 so he wasn't connected to that emotion. He said his mom would come home and she was always positive. He said she never mopes or cries. He said she puts on a brave face. Lance said Terry Armstrong wasn't a terrible guy. He said he's still alive. He said he hasn't seen him in a long time. He said in the old days they got spanked. Howard said his dad never hit him. Lance said that in the south in the 70s they got spanked. He said even in school you'd get paddled. He said he has 5 kids and he looks back on that. He said they do things wrong but he would never think about grabbing a paddle or belt. He said things are different now.
Howard asked if he ever met his biological dad. Lance said he never did. He said that he got a call a few years ago saying that his father passed away. He said his father got bit by a spider and died from that. He said it's the weirdest thing. He said he never saw him. He said in 1999 he heard he was in Austin looking for him. He said these days you can find someone immediately. Lance said back then no one was pointing him in the right direction to him.
Howard asked Lance if he regrets not finding him. Lance said he doesn't now. He said maybe at 50 he'll feel differently. Lance said that the European journalists went and found him. He said that they would do long form interviews and those interviews didn't make him want to find the guy. He said he was very derogatory toward his mother and he's very close to her so he didn't want to read that.
Howard asked about his step-dad and how he treated him. Lance said he had clothes and food so things were okay.
Howard said he would think that he was very popular when he was in school. Lance said that his friends were football players and he didn't win the most popular. Howard asked if he got laid a lot. Lance said ''Here we go...'' Howard said no one chose bike riding as a sport back then. Lance said that he did alright.
Howard said that Lance raced BMX bikes early on. Lance said that was very early on. He said it's really evolved over the years too. He said the course looks like a motocross course but smaller. Howard said Lance has said that the pain of it made him forget about the rest of his life. Lance said that he still tries to ride every day. He didn't ride yesterday and he won't ride today. He said for years he hated cycling. He said that his life has been a mess for the past few years. He said that the whole sport and the media and fans around it he had hard feelings toward. He said the last 6 months he started biking again and he's falling back in love with it.
Howard asked what brand or type of bike he likes. Lance said he has a bike shop in Austin so they sell all kinds of bikes. He said his mountain bike is something he really likes but he painted over it. He won't say what brand it is. He said he had to tweak that. He said he rides a Canondale. He said the ultimate when he was growing up was a custom. He said that they raced all stock bikes in the Tour. Howard asked if he had a bell on his bike. Lance said that he never had one on his bike. He said he and some friends did a 24 hour race last summer. He said that they race during the night so he had the bell for the first time in his life. He said you pass in the dark so you need to have one.
Lance said that race was a 16 hour loop and they race 24 hours straight. Howard asked where they pee when they're riding. Lance said that he has done that before but not in this race. He said anyone at that level knows how to pee off the bike. Howard said he could never do that. He said that they do take pictures. Lance said there are times when you can do it when no one is around. Lance said they'll all stop and take a leak at some point.
Howard said he got into riding for a while but then he had some issues. He said it's really fucking hard. He said that these guys would shave down and they'd say that it slows you down. He asked if it's bullshit. Lance said he does think it's bullshit. He said other things are more important. Lance said everyone shaves their legs but he would never do that again. He said that it's something he did but he would never do again. He said he's 45 an retired so he's not going to shave his legs.
Howard asked what a bike costs now. He asked if he could spend 20 grand. Lance said they can make him one that's 20 grand. He said you don't need one that much. He said a $3,000 bike in 2017 is almost as good as you can get.
Howard asked if he had a Schwinn for his first bike. Lance said it was. He said he bought it at a corner store. He said this guy is one of the biggest retailers in the world now. He said that it was a brown bike with mag wheels and it was ugly.
Howard asked if he was a daredevil. He said he read about a game he invented where they soaked tennis balls in gasoline and threw them at his friends. Lance said that Howard had to have done crazier things. Howard said maybe he did but he was out of his mind. Robin asked if his kids are good athletes. Lance said they are. He said he has one who is 6'5'' tall. He said he's playing ball now but he's not sure if he wants to keep doing it.
Howard asked if the most painful thing for him was having to explain the whole doping scandal to the kids. Lance said that wasn't just a one time thing. He said he has 5 kids. He said the older kids were old enough to live it with him. He said it's a process to work through. Lance said he had to go through it all with the family. He said his older kids were old enough to follow the story before it unraveled. He said before it unraveled there was a denial and that was a problem. Lance said his kids never asked about it so they just read about it. Lance said the most important word was betrayal. He said that he cares about his fans. He said he will say this. He said that his kids are doing great. He said the younger ones are growing into it. He said the kids are old enough that their friends might say something.
Lance said that his 7 year old was in school and he was having a conversation with his mother just weeks ago. He said he talked about this in a podcast. He said that his son said that his dad cheated. He said that to his mother. He said that's the kind of stuff that will happen. He said they're going to get older and read that stuff.
Howard said he has had to apologize to his kids for things he's done. He said you just say it's wrong. He said then they ask why. He asked what the fuck you say. Lance said it's a longer conversation now than it was. He asked Howard and Robin if they want to talk about that stuff in 2017. He said things were so crazy at the time.
Howard said one of the things Lance said that was everyone was doing it. Robin said that he must have wondered why other guys were able to pass him. Lance said that EPO is what changed the game. He said that came into their sport that they call came into the sport. He said there were those guys who were doing it and the rest of them tried to hold out as long as they could. Lance said he's not trying to justify it but that's the decision they made.
Lance said he wanted to win and he wanted to be the best. He said he knew he needed a knife in this knife fight. Howard asked if he really needed that. He said maybe he would have done fine without it. Lance said that EPO was so powerful. Lance said it's like a 10 percenter. He said that they did have a choice. He said not everyone used it. He said that a lot did but not everyone. Lance said he admires the guys who didn't do it.
Howard asked if he would have complied if no one else was using it. Lance said there was no test at the time. He said he doesn't know what would have happened but he'd like to think that it would have worked out the same. He said you don't know.
Howard said that Lance had testicular cancer and if he hadn't gone back into it then he never would have known that he was using it. He said if he had just retired it never would have come out. Lance said if he had just stopped in 2005 it would have been over. He said it was the bridge to the past that made it all come forward. He said that it call came out because he went back.
Howard asked if he still gets shit today from people. Lance said they can do it without being face to face online. He said no one has come to him face to face. He said he gets shit online all the time and he's sure Howard does too.
Lance said the way he acted by denying it all made it worse. He said that he can't change it. He said he can only walk this walk he's on. He said if someone did come up to him he'd shake their hand and say he's sorry. Howard asked if he thinks they're pissed because of the denial. Lance said that was the problem. He said if you polled the world about it then he thinks that people can get their mind around the doping but not excuse the way he acted. He said that was the worst part.
Howard said when you sue someone over the story then it's something else. Lance said they were riding this wave and everyone around him was riding it. He said that there were people that said if it's not true he's got to take action. Lance said that he made the decision to do what he did. He said he was trying to keep this thing going.
Howard asked if Lance had trouble sleeping over all of that. Lance said he just sees a pillow and he can fall asleep. He said he was able to sleep when he found out about the testicular cancer. Howard said he found out about that cancer and he didn't deal with it for a long time. Lance said he had all kinds of excuses. Lance said the size of it was huge. He said he thought it was from sitting on the bike all day. He said he just figured tomorrow would be better. He said that still happens today. He said that he still thinks that way. Lance said he was coughing up blood and he had dizziness and things like that. He said he had to call someone. Howard said then they found out about the cancer. Lance said they removed his ball the next morning. Howard asked if they knew it was just his ball. Lance said they didn't know. He said the day before that he did a chest x-ray. He said that his lungs were littered with tumors. He said that he had to do chemotherapy. He said that he knew that he could get along with just one ball. He said that he was on Chemo for 3 months. Howard said he had cancer in his body all over. Lance said he had testicular cancer all over his body. He said that cell spread all over his body. Howard asked if he thought his life was over. Lance said he thought it was 50/50. He said he'd tell anyone in that situation that we're not numbers or stats. He said you just surround yourself with lots of friends and family.
Robin said there must have been some people telling him he wasn't going to make it. Lance said he went to a few places. He said he ended up in Indianapolis. He said he stayed there and was treated there. Howard said most would go to New York. Lance said that Dr. Einhorn was like the godfather of the cure of this disease. Howard said he was on a role though. Lance said that he was thinking that ''why not me'' as being the survivor of this.
Howard said Lance went back to cycling after that. He was away from it for a year and a half. Lance said he had two tumors in his brain. He said he still has big cuts in his head from that. He said it's been 21 years now. He said he didn't think about it until today when Howard asked about it. He said he doesn't think about it until someone does ask about it. Lance said it can come back even after all this time.
Howard asked if he thinks it was from the EPO stuff. Lance said no but he gets that a lot. He said that people think it could be from sitting on the bike seat too. He said he thinks there would be more of it if that was the case.
Howard asked Lance how much money he's raised with his foundation. Lance said he was asked to leave in 2012 and they had raised about half a billion at that point. Howard said he was doing really well with that. Lance said they were doing about $50 million a year with that. Howard asked who came to him asking him to leave. Lance said he was chairman and the first call was asking him to step down. He said that the new chairman told him he had to get out. Howard said that sucks. Lance said it does suck. He said it sucks for him and for them. He said they were going to go through a tough time either way. He said they're still operational. He said he doesn't keep up with them now. He said he thinks the key thing they missed was that yellow band is hard to get away from. He said he would have liked to have said that they had to hang in there and be very smart about it. He said they could build back up. He said he knows they've been hurt. He said that people fall and they come back with a platform. He said it took his platform away. He said it's been tough.
Howard asked Lance if it's tough for him financially now. Lance said that if the Postal Service gets $100 million from him then it'll be a problem. Lance said he thinks they will win. Lance said he loved riding for them. He said he loved riding around Europe with the postal service on his shirt. He said that they don't believe they were damaged from this. He said that this case is about who got damaged. Howard asked if that's what the case is about. Lance said he can't get into it too much but it's about showing damages. He said they have to prove why they lost in the fall.
Howard said that we have the best postal service in the world. He said no other country has one this good. Lance said riding around with that around the world was great. Howard said that they were his sponsor. Lance said they were the title sponsor. He said they had a bunch of sponsors.
Lance said he's been sued a lot and he deserved to be sued. He said that he's settled most of the cases and this is the last one. He said he's still got a couple of bucks. He said he and his wife and their kids are having a good life. He said no part of him misses those things that much. He said it was nice at the time but he's fine getting on United and flying around.
Howard asked Lance about the cancer and Chemo and if he was expecting to have kids. Lance said the first 3 were with IVF. He said that he banked sperm before he went through all of that. He said that one day his wife called and said she was pregnant. He said he was told he can't have kids. He said that they had one and then another a year and a half later.
Howard asked Lance what he's doing all day. Lance said that he's coming for Howard. He said that Greenstein is going to hire him to take this seat. Howard asked if he is employable. Lance said probably not. Howard asked what he does for fun. Lance said he plays golf and exercises. He said he just started playing golf. He said he drives his kids around and he's working on some other things. He said the endurance sport is something he thinks he can do something with.
Howard asked if Lance feels abandoned by the sport. Lance said he does. He said that he won't talk about it much but the chairman who told him he had to go was a good friend and he hasn't heard from him. He said that guy was a friend. He said that you do get surprised and someone will come say hi and ask him to do something. He said they'll just pop back in. He said there are people who lean out or lean in and it sucks when someone leans out. He said when you have a friend who leans back in that is so much greater. He said it's why the podcast is called The Forward. He said he's moving forward with his life. He said he's moving forward with the team he has now.
Howard asked who asked Lance to go on Oprah. Lance said timing was tough on that. He said it was too soon for a lot of people and it was too detailed and shocking. Lance said he did it because he likes Oprah and he knew he was going to get sued. He said when the report came out he knew they were lining up to sue him. He said the first thing is when you get deposed. He said that he liked Oprah and trusted her. He said that he wanted to do it there instead of with some lawyer. Howard asked if she was the right one to do it with. Lance said they can debate that. Lance said everyone was pissed about it. He said the non-fans thought it was too much information. He said the cycling fans thought it wasn't enough. He said no one was happy.
Howard asked if he felt used by Oprah. Lance said he reached out to her so no. He said he talked to Tom Brokaw as well. He said that might have been the better place to go. He said in January of 2013 no one was prepared. Lance said that he's not sure what Howard's fans are going to think. He said he did Joe Rogan's podcast a year and a half ago. He said they broke it all down. He said that they got feedback from the fans and they were saying that's what he should have done early on.
Howard said maybe on the Joe Rogan show he had 2 hours to just talk. He said that he got to give all of this thoughts on it. Lance said that the way he acted was the problem. He said it was the denial and all of that which was wrong. He said there were fans who had his back. Howard asked if they offered him money to do interviews. Lance said he never would have taken money for that.
Howard asked if he was ever suicidal. Lance said hell no. He said there was no way. He said that's not the way his mom raised him. He said that he's a realist and he has to handle the situation and be there for his family. He said he has to keep the whole thing moving forward.
Howard asked if it was tough to tell his mother the story. Lance said it was. He said no one knows who she is but it could have been rough on her if they did. He said that there was no city more pissed off than Austin where he lives. Howard said he has a coffee shop. Lance said that's part of his bike shop.
Howard asked if drugs should be legal in sports. Lance said he doesn't think so. He said the system of controlling it is inefficient. He said it's never going to happen. He said that no one is ever going to say that.
Howard asked Lance about being in the Olympics and leaving that to go into pro sports and he loses his first race. Lance said he came in dead last. He said he came in second in his second race. He said this was in Spain and it was raining and it was his first race. He said that he was offered a ride back to the hotel and he said no way. He said he couldn't quit.
Howard asked if he took a lot of shit from people during that first race. Lance said a lot of people quit that day. He said 100 guys quit. He said he doesn't want to be one of them.
Howard said he got into bike riding when he saw that Lance was dating Sheryl Crow. Lance said ''Here we go...'' Howard said he's not kidding. He said even his name Lance Armstrong is a great name. Howard asked if his head got big during that. Lance said he had a good thing going. He said she was a great lady. He said they had some fun. Lance said they were watching the Grammy's the other day and he presented there once. He said that shit was just surreal.
Howard said that kind of relationship becomes a drug too. Howard said they become a power couple. Howard said it's like the greatest turn on. Lance said it's tough too. He said that she was a stay at home kind of woman. He said she did some touring and she was at the races and things with him. He said she wasn't off touring while he was riding. He said that this was in 2005 and 2006. He said that things were just going to get tougher. He said that you look at Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and their break up and you see how it can get. He said it just gets crazier and crazier.
Howard said it's hard to know if you're in love or not. He said the attention you get is crazy. Lance said there is pressure. Howard said that's the kind of pressure he needs. Lance said he should have her on the show again. Howard said he should have her on. He said she's welcome anytime.
Howard asked if Lance got a prosthesis for his ball. Lance said he didn't. He said that he has to talk to Robin about this. He said when that thing comes out, and it doesn't come out the way you expect, it comes out the top. He said that it doesn't just come out the sack. Howard asked if they told him he could get a fake one. Lance asked who would care. Howard asked if he becomes less sexual or less horny. Lance laughed. Howard said no woman looks at your balls anyway. Howard asked if it affects your testosterone level. Lance said that's a good question. He said they told him that once one leaves the other one makes up for it. He said that none of the things Howard mentioned go down at all.
Howard asked if he got to see the ball. Lance said he didn't. He said he got to keep his wisdom tooth though. He said that he still has that.
Howard gave Lance a plug for his podcast ''The Forward'' and told people to tune in or not. Robin asked who he has coming up. Lance said he has one with a guy who wrote a book about a Navy Seal. He said the guy, Jesse, was a white rapper for a while. He said he had a hit called ''Shake it like a White Girl'' and he went on to do other things. He said the guy is married to the woman who came up with Spankx.
Howard said Oprah owes him an interview. Lance said she's going to come on. Howard asked if he thinks she will. Lance said she has to come on. Howard said she does. Lance said that's too obvious. Howard said he should have come on this show instead of Oprah. Lance said that it was the timing. He said no one was going to be happy at that time.
Howard asked if anyone has turned down the podcast. Lance said no but there have been some who were suspect. He said that one guy who is a friend is Carl Rove. He said he asked him to come on and he kept saying he was going to come on but he never did. Howard said he should have the chairman of his foundation come on. Lance said it's called The Forward and that's not moving forward.
Howard said he should have Sheryl Crow on. Lance said he's sure she'd say no. He said she'd be great thoguh. Howard said she can sing for real. Lance said that's her real voice.
Howard asked if he ever regretted being a cyclist. Lance said no. He said he's still ahead. Howard asked if he's still fast. Lance said he's getting faster. He said he's just getting back into it. He said that the young guys are kicking his ass. He said he hangs in there though. He said they're just better. Howard said he should ride with him. Lance said it's kind of cold now. He told Howard to come to Aspen in the summer. He said he'll get Howard one of those E-bikes.
Howard asked if Lance has been hit by cars. Lance said he has been hit. Howard asked if there's a move you can do. Lance said nothing trains you for that. He said he was 15 the first time he got hit. He said that the woman thought she had killed him. Lance said that is a touchy situation. Howard said he knows tons of guys who have been hit. Lance said you can ride there in the city and it's amazing. Howard said that he runs and the bike riders think they own the fucking road. He said he sticks his elbows out. Lance said that it's a relationship. He said that you have to share the road. He said it is what it is.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he can't believe the postal service is suing anyone for damaging their reputation other than themselves. Lance didn't want to comment on that.
Howard gave Lance some more plugs for his web site and podcast. He said you can find out about his endurance brand WeDu too. Howard asked what that is. Lance explained it to Howard and he said you can find out more at WeDuSport.com. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. They played a few bits before they went to break.
- Stump The Booey - June 6, 2017. 11/23/17. 9:00am
Next up on today's vacation replay show they played the final ''Stump the Booey'' challenge. Here's my rundown from that day:
The Final Stump The Booey. 06/06/17. 7:40am
After the break they played a ''Robin Quivers Sings Every Song Ever Recorded'' commercial parody. They also played a Ronnie the Limo Driver song parody. They also played Billy Idol's ''Rebel Yell'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said it's time for Stump the Booey. Howard said this is the final episode for Gary. He said Gary is retiring after this. Howard said Gary claims his memory is fading and he can't compete at a high level. Howard said this is like a great ball player retiring his cleats.
Gary said that he said hi to his competitor and he's 45. He said he could remember a lot of stuff at 45. Howard said they want to see Gary go out on a high note. Howard said Gary is getting super long in the tooth. He said they do say that they grow as you get older.
Howard said they have been playing Stump the Booey for 15 years. He said his first game was in November 16, 2002. He said Gary has lost before. He has gotten 151 total correct answers over the years. Howard said it's not easy to do when you're under pressure.
Howard said the first song they ever did was this song. He played a clip to see if Gary could get it. Gary said it was Mexican Radio by wall of Voo Doo. Howard said Gary still has it. His opponent knew it was from 1983.
Howard played another song for Gary because he got this one wrong back then. Gary said he thinks it's Ico, Ico by the Bell Stars. Gary was right. His competitor knew it too.
Howard said that Gary won that game and he lost for the first time in the 8th game in 2003. Howard said that was a sad day in Stern Show history. Howard played a song that he lost the game to in 2003. Howard said he thinks his competitor has it. That guy knew it was Howard Jones ''No One is to Blame.'' Howard said Gary is going out a loser.
<>Howard said when Gary lost he lost to a guy named Andy and he had a lame excuse of being sick that day. Howard played a clip of Gary giving that excuse on the show that day.
Howard said Gary's opponent is named Justin Prager. Howard said he's in his mid-40s. He said that Justin is married with no kids. He said he has no distractions. Howard said Justin is a curator at Vevo. Justin said it's sort of like what MTV was back in the 80s. He said that it's all about playlists and stuff so he has to know his stuff. He said he knows the old stuff and the new stuff. He said he's also a collector of Vinyl like Gary. Justin said he has 50 boxes of vinyl in storage.
Howard said he's not sure what Gary does for a living. Gary said he curates the insults Howard throws at him. He said the first one was on October 3, 1984. Howard said that's when he brought up his teeth.
Howard asked if Justin has been listening to the show a long time. Justin said he started in the 90s when he was in L.A. He said he's familiar with Gary. Howard said Gary is nervous about this guy. He said he's constantly clearing his throat. Fred played clips of Gary clearing his throat.
Howard said Justin says he's good with 80s music. He said that's Gary's strongest time period too. Howard asked if Justin did any prep. Justin said he didn't. Gary said he did because he had to do some honing.
Howard said Justin is also a drummer. Justin said he's not as good as Richard Christy but he is a drummer.
Howard said they have a $5,000 prize for Justin if he wins. Howard said that's from his friends at Tommy John. Howard gave them a plug.
Howard said he's going to play 5 songs and they should have a winner. Howard said that they have tie breakers if they don't have a winner. Howard said that they have to come up with the artist and the title of the song. Howard asked if they're ready. They were ready.
Howard played the first song and waited to see who was getting it. Howard said Gary was writing and Justin wasn't. Howard said maybe Gary still has it. Howard asked what they had. Justin had Olivia Newton John ''Physical.'' He was wrong. It was ''You Should Hear How She Talks About You'' by Melissa Manchester. Gary had it right.
Howard played the second song and said that Justin is writing already. Howard said Gary is right behind him. Howard asked Gary what he had. Gary said it was ''What's On your Mind'' by Information Society. He was correct. Justin had something similar but it wasn't quite right. He had ''Tell Me What's On Your Mind.'' Howard asked the guys what the verdict is. Howard said they might have to call Judge Wendy. Fred looked it up on Wikipedia and said that he's saying it's incorrect. Howard said Gary is up 2 to nothing. Robin said he knew so much before they started. Gary said it's hard being under the lights.
Howard played the next song and said that Gary is writing but Justin isn't. Howard said that Gary was very quick. Howard said he had it very rapidly. Gary said he didn't have the band right away. It was The Smitherines ''A Girl Like You.'' Howard said they both got it.
Howard said they have 2 more songs to go. Howard said things are looking bleak for Justin. Howard played another song and said that Justin is writing. He said that Gary is writing too. Howard asked what they had. Gary said it was ''I Ran'' by A Flock of Seagulls. Gary got it wrong. It was actually ''Space Age Love Song'' by A Flock of Seagulls. Justin got that one right.
Howard said that Justin could win this. He said Gary could win it too. Gary said he screwed that one up. Howard said Yucko the Clown wants to weigh in. He picked up and Yucko asked how old 56 is in monkey years. Gary said he remembers when Yucko used to be funny. Yucko said he can't wait to see Gary... in War of the Planet of the Apes. Howard said he thought he wasn't going to be Yucko anymore. Yucko said he thinks Gary is eating shit. Howard let Yucko go a short time later. Yucko said he has a new app out today. He said it's available for iPhone and Android. He said he's starving you cock suckers.
Howard played a song and saw that Justin was writing and so was Gary. Howard asked Justin what he had. Gary said he has a lot of information about this song. Howard said poor Justin is going to lose that 5 grand. Howard said he can tie things up now. Justin said he has ''Lawn Chairs on my Lawn'' by My Mother's Daughter. He was wrong. Gary had it right with ''What do All the People Know'' by the Monroes. Gary said this was a one hit wonder and the record company went out of business.
Howard said Gary really does know a lot. Howard said Justin didn't win the 5 grand but he did win $500 from Tommy John. Justin thanked him for that.
Howard asked Gary if this is really his last one. Gary said he thinks so. He said 10 years ago he wouldn't have gotten that Flock of Seagulls question wrong. Howard asked Gary to give a speech. Gary did that and just cleared his throat and said ''I am that guy.'' Justin said he didn't know this was going to be the final Stump the Booey. Howard wished him luck with his job at Vevo. He said Gary should be proud and hang his head high. Howard went to break a short time later.
- Caitlyn Jenner Photo - May 1, 2017. 11/23/17. 9:25am
Next up on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about Richard and Sal taking a picture with Caitlyn Jenner. Here's my rundown from that day:
Kelly Ripa And Ryan Seacrest Clips. 05/01/17. 10:10am
After the break they played Adele's ''Rolling in the Deep'' as they were coming back. Fred had some clips of Robin singing over that. Howard came back and said he's not into that song until Robin is singing. Fred kept playing clips even after he had shut off the song. Howard tried singing like Robin but he said he'll never get it right.
Howard said that Kelly Ripa made her big announcement this morning. He said she was breathless. Howard played a clip of her making the announcement about Ryan Seacrest. Howard said it was either him or Scott Baio. Howard said he's not giving up anything. He said he just takes more and more jobs. Howard said he was wondering how he does a radio show in L.A. and the TV show. Howard said he talked to a friend who told him he's going to do the TV show and then the radios how. He said he's pre-taping the first hour of his radio show though. He said it's very Rick Dees-ish. Howard said then he'll jump off and do his live radio show and his stuff at E!. Howard said the conversation will be scintillating. Howard played a clip of Ryan talking about finding out about the job offer there with Kelly Ripa.
Howard said the weird thing is that they looked up Bill O'Reilly and a book he wrote in 1990 or so. He said he wrote about a detective and this is him reading his own book. Howard said this is everything he was up to. Howard played a clip from an audio book where Bill was reading this love scene. Howard said he has another passage where he sounds like he's doing that thing he got accused of doing to a woman. Howard played that and said it's like if Bill Cosby wrote a book about drugging and raping 50 women. He said this is fucking crazy.
Howard asked who would listen to this book. He said he put music in there. Howard said it's an audio book. Howard said he remembers when he wrote this too. He said he wrote it without any dirty words in his erotica. Howard said what a fucking nudnick. He said then he writes books about morality and treating everyone with respect. He said that's fucking crazy.
Howard got back to the Ryan Seacrest clip. In that clip Ryan talked about how he had to keep it a secret but he wanted to tell friends. He said that people thought he was coming out of the closet or something. Howard said finally Kelly has a co-host. Robin said her head was spinning from all of the people.
Howard said Ryan is an excellent choice to take over for when Kelly retires. Howard said all of show business is abuzz. Robin said he is the new Dick Clark. Howard said he's a much more provocative numbskull. Howard said everyone will tune in for that. He said his radio show actually does have ratings. Gary said the NY Times says he'll do the show starting at 6am and some of the show will be pre-taped. Howard said Gary doesn't listen to this show. They talked about that. Howard said sometimes Gary will come in and tell him he wanted to say something during the show but he holds off. But this he interrupts for. Gary said he was out talking to a publicist and someone told him he should tell Howard about that because it was important. Howard said maybe that person should listen to the show then. They played a song parody about Gary after that. Howard asked if Gary has anything to say about the Bill O'Reilly tapes. Gary said he doesn't.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to complain a little bit. He said that things are tough right now and Howard hasn't had any Trump supporters on. He said he'd like to hear some people who support Trump. Howard said he sounds sort of like the lead singer of Journey. The caller said he wishes he was. Howard said he doesn't book guests based on who they like. He said that he would have Scott Baio or Ted Nugent or Kid Rock on. Howard said they book guests and he has no idea what their political views are. Gary said Rob Schneider is a big trump supporter but he didn't talk about it. Howard said Sal and Ronnie are big Trump supporters. He said they're there. Howard said that he has a celebrity interview and if they're for Trump they can say it. Howard said he's not responsible for people's political views. Howard said the whole country is so polarized. Howard said it's crazy.
Howard Was Right About Trump. 05/01/17. 10:30am
Howard said there was a shit load of articles about how right he was about Trump. Howard said it's a good 15 minute rant and he can't get into it right now. Howard said he does want to talk about it though. Howard said he has to do a Steven Singer commercial. He did the live commercial read after that.
Howard said he keeps thinking about that Bill O'Reilly podcast clip he played earlier. He said it's like the wind has been taken out of his sails. He said he's all self conscious now and he's not arrogant like he was. Howard said he says the truth will come out. Howard said he settled those cases though so he doesn't want the truth coming out. Howard said he sounds different on that podcast. Howard played the ''Hey I miss you guys'' clip again. He said he doesn't miss anyone. Howard said he's a broken man now. Howard let the clip play again and talked about how different he sounds.
Howard said that Bill once came up to him after he started at Sirius saying that he was going to do him a favor and let him come on his show once a week.
Howard let the podcast clip play through again and goofed on him again for a few minutes. He let the clip play through longer than he did earlier.
Howard said he's not sure if he should do the news or talk about Trump. Howard said he should save that for tomorrow. He said he got like 50 headlines in his Google Alerts. He said he has a bunch that said he was right about Donald Trump. Howard said he knows Donald but he's not an insider. He said Donald came to his wedding and he went to Donald's wedding. Howard said he had said he knows Trump's life and he's seen it up close. He said that he had the life that politicians want. Howard said he has a hot wife, fame from a number 1 TV show and he has Mar-A-Lago where he can go for vacation. He said he has the life that everyone wishes they could have. Howard said people were always friendly to him and people liked him. He said he had the life.
Howard said he would do everything he was offered years ago. He said he didn't know he had to do a ton of work and wait for Heidi Klum and Mel B to get ready. He said Trump thought that he could be President. He said he went out and people loved him. He said that he had no fucking idea the shitty life he was going to have. Howard said politicians go into politics as a profession. Howard said Trump was able to wake up and just shit on some people or go read a book or do whatever he wanted to do. Howard said then he can go to Mar-A-Lago and have a fantastic lunch. Howard said you can't imagine the life this guy had. Howard said he has a personal helicopter that has a huge cabin in it. Howard said he rode in it. He said it was like what God travels around in.
Howard said the closest you'll ever get to heaven on earth is having the things Donald Trump has. Howard said now people are criticising him. He said if he wants to get some side pussy he can't even do that. Howard said he had it all. Howard said as a goof he ran for Governor and quickly got out. He said he was afraid he'd win.
Howard said he said all of this about Trump and people were criticizing him about it. Howard said Donald Trump did an interview and you could tell right away that he's not happy. Howard played a clip and Trump said he liked his previous life. He said this is more work than his previous life. Howard said when you're 70 you don't want that. He said this isn't what he signed up for. Trump said he thought this would be easier. He said he misses his previous life and this is more work than what he used to do. He said he doesn't mind working though.
Howard said he read all of these headlines about what he said about Trump and how he was right. Howard said he was at Mar-A-Lago and he saw what this guy had. Robin asked if anyone has the ability to foresee the consequences of their actions. Howard said no one wanted Hillary to win more than Trump. Howard said Hillary is trying to get the Trump life. Howard said you want to win though.
Howard said he's not trying to criticise Trump. He said he's just telling it the way it is. He said he had to wait around at America's Got Talent for Mel B and Heidi Klum to get ready to do the show. He said that when you get up there in age you're supposed to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Howard said that's all he wanted to say. He said now they can get to some news.
Robin's News. 05/01/17. 10:45am
Robin said that it was revealed that Whitney Cummings is going to be a show runner for the comeback of Roseanne. Howard said he thinks it'll be a winner. Howard said he likes what he heard as the concept for the show.
Robin read a story about Alex Jones and how he's going through a custody battle for his kids. Robin said he claims that he was a performance artist. Robin said he's losing primary custody and the ex-wife is getting joint custody. Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who was doing an Alex Jones impression. Howard lasted about 10 seconds with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's not right about Trump. Howard said he is right. The caller said the reason Trump is doing this stuff is because he loves this country. Howard said he's missing the point of what he said. Howard said what he was saying is that at the end of the day Trump is trapped in the White House. The caller said he's not trapped. Howard said what he said is if he was Trump he would create a health crisis and resign over it. The caller said Trump is looking to fix the problems that Obama created. Howard said he's not disagreeing with him but what he's not understanding is that he thinks he misses his old life. The caller kept arguing and Howard said he has to get off the phone. Robin said the guy isn't arguing the same argument. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Caitlyn Jenner who did an interview with Diane Sawyer. Howard said he wanted to have her on the show but they were off so they weren't able to get her in there. Gary said she wants to come in and she would have come in last week if they were there. Howard said she was up there at Sirius and Sal and Richard took a picture with her and said told her that she's such an inspiration to him. Sal said he was just being polite. Howard asked why he'd say it if he didn't mean it. Sal said he was trying to make her comfortable. Sal said she is an inspiration in a way. Howard asked if he would fuck her. Sal said no way. Gary said that Sal is the one who said he was the whit devil to Russell Simmons. Sal said he was calling himself the white devil.
Howard asked if he told Caitlyn about being hypnotized and having his cock disappear. Sal said he didn't. Sal said Caitlyn isn't an inspiration to him but maybe to other people she is. Robin said he can't speak for those people. Sal said he can. Howard said Sal should be working and not going out there waiting on line to speak to her. Gary wondered why he'd pick her over all of the celebrities they have here. Howard said he doesn't know why he's talking to any celebrities there. Howard said he has to come clean and tell the truth. JD said Sal walked away. Sal came back and said that he didn't show the picture to anyone but he made it his wallpaper on his computer. Sal also told Howard he's a huge inspiration.
Robin said Bill Cosby says that he's blind and his youngest daughter wrote an essay where she defends her father. She said he did have his affairs but that was between him and her mother. Robin said that she's glad that they did. Howard said he felt bad for the daughter. Howard said that's not something you want to be defending your father over. He said he's glad his father wasn't a rapist. That led to him doing an impression of his father and mother talking about being on trial for rape. Then Ben said he wants go to Nathan's for his 3 hot dogs and fries. Howard had his father asking who the woman was on the line and his mother saying that it was Robin. Howard had his dad not understanding half of what they were talking about. Robin would ask questions about the trial and Ben would say ''What?'' and Ray would have to repeat the questions. Howard said he got into an argument with his mother about something and she asked him not to talk about it on the radio. He said he has to honor that but it's such a great story that they'll never hear. Howard said his mother knew enough not to tell him.
Robin read a story about the White House Correspondents dinner that went off without the President. Howard said that was kind of lame. Robin said it wasn't as fun this year. Robin said the Daily Show's Hasan Minhaj was the host. Robin had some audio clips for Howard to play. Robin said she heard that the President is thinking about changing the Libel laws so he can sue the press.
Robin read a story about how he was driving home the other day and he kept getting hit by chicken bones. He said he thinks he was stuck behind JD's car. Howard said that image is so disgusting that he's not sure what to do with it.
Howard said Gary was the biggest celebrity there at the White House Correspondents dinner. Gary said he got the seat he always gets. He said every year the press would be there but this year he walked in and they all asked to take his picture because they hadn't taken pictures in 15 minutes.
Robin said it was another big day for Gary yesterday. It was Record Store day. Robin said they say that vinyl is alive and well. Howard said he went to visit his daughter on the West Coast and she made him dinner. Howard said he was very emotional seeing her all grown up. He said they had a record player and they were playing vinyl. Howard said it was so cute when she did it. Howard said when Gary does it it's not cute. Howard said he wished he had saved his records for her. Howard said they're into vinyl. He said he thought it was adorable with her. Howard told Gary to give her his vinyl collection. Robin read more about the sales of vinyl going up last year. Robin read about some of the best selling artists.
Howard said maybe it was cute on her because she doesn't talk about it ad nauseam. Howard said Gary won't shut up about it. Howard said Gary even has a vinyl record adapter necklace.
Robin said there's a doctor who is planning a head transplant. Robin said that this doctor says he won't be doing it on a man he has been treating for 2 years. Robin said the Russian man suffers from a muscular disease. They're going to do the Chinese man instead because it's easier to get a donor there. Howard said what he wants to do is put George Clooney's head on his body. Howard said he thinks that's pretty great. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about 20 people being injured when an airplane hit turbulence. Robin said this was about 40 minutes before landing. Robin said it was going from Russia to Bangkok. Robin said some people had broken bones. Robin said 3 babies were injured when they were flung from their mother's arms.
Robin read a story about President Trump and had some audio of him talking about his first 100 days in office. She had some other audio of people talking about the state of our relationship with Russia. She had some other Trump related news as well.
Robin read a story about a couple of Muslim kids who were beaten for trying to steal some cows for slaughter. Robin said this was over in India. Howard said he was in California hiking and he saw cows and he can't eat them. He said they're so friendly. Howard said he just can't do it. He said there's plenty of food to eat. You don't have to eat cows or pigs. He said he's sorry but that's just his feeling. He said he has a friend who has bacon every morning.
Robin read about how the new Fast and Furious movie going past 1 billion dollars globally already. Robin said that she doesn't get it. Howard said he's a pretty mainstream kind of guy but he's tried to watch some of them and he can't. He said Ronnie loves it. He said it's really light on story. He said Vin Diesel is like a super hero. Jason said he loves the movies too and they 00always let Vin win in the end. Howard said The Rock would beat the shit out of him. Jason said he always comes out the winner in these movies. Howard tried to guess what the relationship is like between Vin's character and Dwayne Johnson's character. Jason helped him out with that. Howard said it's amazing that they made over a billion dollars.
Robin told Howard that Caitlyn has mentioned she got the surgery and she'll never talk about it again. Howard said he thinks she will.
- Planet Of The Apes - July 17, 2017. 11/23/17. 10:25am
Next up on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about his Planet of the Apes screening. Here's my rundown from that day:
New Phony Phone Call And Howard's Planet Of The Apes Screening. 07/17/17. 9:40am
After the break Howard came right back and said Robin never answers her cell phone. Robin said neither does Howard. Howard said that's not true. Robin said she called him as many times as he called her. Howard said he didn't leave a message at least 3 times. Robin said she called him back. She said the last time she didn't leave a message. She said she called at least 2 times and didn't leave a message. Howard said he wanted to have a real conversation with her off the air. Howard said it was some sort of interaction. Howard said that's all it's about when you boil it down.
Howard said that he didn't play a phony phone call today. He said he has Caitlyn Jenner calling into a religious show. Howard said she's freaked out because she's being haunted by the ghost of her penis in this one. Howard played the call and fake Caitlyn Jenner said she was being haunted by a ghost of a loved one. She said it was her cock. The hosts of the show told her to get a bible. Caitlyn said her cock ghost was floating around knocking over lamps and stuff. The hosts were trying to talk about Caitlyn said it was going after her cat and it just slimed her. The hosts kept trying to talk but Caitlyn kept talking over them.
Howard said that was a good one. He said that was Caitlyn calling into a religious show and saying her ghost chock was haunting her house. Howard said he liked when she said the ghost was going into her mouth.
Howard said he ended up seeing the new Planet of the Apes movie. Howard said he doesn't go to the theater. He said that he has it in his head that people would bother him there. He said people don't bother him when he does go. He said once in a while a movie studio sends him the movie. He said he got offered the new Planet of the Apes. He said he has an elaborate system in his house that they think is unhackable. Howard said he can't bootleg these movies. He said he went into his screening room which is his TV room. He said that it's a bigger TV. Howard said he went to put it on in there and something was wrong. He said a fuse blew or something. He said he found a TV that would work. He said he had to watch it on a smaller TV.
Howard said on the screen it said ''Howard Stern'' and the date. He said he has just 48 hours to watch the movie. He said he can't even pause it because it goes back to the beginning. He said he's not going to bootleg their movie so he's not sure why they do this. Howard said he had to see this thing. Howard said he put it on but in the middle of the screen it says ''Howard Stern.'' Howard said sometimes there are subtitles and you can't read it because his name is so big. Howard said they put all of this money into visual effects and audio and they have his name across the screen. Howard said the first Planet of the Apes was ridiculous. He said they had face masks on. He said even then he loved the movie. He said this new stuff is really cool. He said they lock up the apes in a concentration style camp. Howard said Woody Harrleson is locking them up and he's really good in this movie. Howard said the apes are such good people. He said the whole movie they're just asking to be left alone and they won't attack the humans. Howard said then the people are attacking. Howard said they even fling their feces. He said it's old school.
Howard said what was cool about this ape movie was that they didn't try to make any of the female apes a hot chick. Howard said they did that in the first one. Howard said you're not going to fuck any of these apes.
Howard said he was about to bail on this movie and he just hacked through it. He said he was never going to go to the theater to see it. Howard said they create an unhackable thing but they still put his name on it. Howard said maybe put it in the corner. Howard said he doesn't want to watch the movie with his name on it.
Robin said other people come in and say they get the movie without their name on it. Howard said he thinks it's just him. He said that they think he's going to bootleg the movie and sell it on the corner. Howard said he's just so happy to see it. Howard said he could have had some movers and shakers over to watch it. He said he could have had Wayne Siegel over.
Howard said for some reason he's high risk. He said he's so fucking honest though. He said even with his name through it the movie was good. Howard said it's hard to like a movie with your name in giant print over it.
Howard said that they don't give him Spider-Man to watch. He said that movie did really well at the box office. He said he was happy to see that the Apes movie did really well.
Robin said there are movies that she wants to see that aren't rentable yet. Howard said he's like that too. He said he won't buy a movie like Wonder Woman. He said he's going to watch that just once. He said that's unlike Ralph who will watch it like 20 times. Howard said he loves The Godfather but he doesn't need to own it. He said he'll just rent it again if he wants to see it. Howard said he really liked the Planet of the Apes movie. He said its really good.
Howard Takes Some Calls. 07/17/17. 10:00am
Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he has seen the new Spider-Man yet. Howard said not yet. Apples said that Aunt May is played by Marissa Tomei. Howard said that's confusing because she's hot. Howard said in the comic book she was an old bag. Robin asked what she was to Peter's father. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said maybe she has that aging disease. Apples said without giving any spoilers the movie is great and they do try to old her up by making her wear high pants and wear glasses. Howard said he knew a guy who followed Marissa on a hike once and he said that her ass was talking to him. Howard said this guy said saw this girl in front of him and her ass was talking to him. He said her ass was so awesome that it was drawing him in. Howard said he told him to get his head examined.
Robin said she and Ralph saw Marissa naked in a play. Howard asked how she looked. Robin said she looked great. Howard asked if she was shaved. Apples said he likes a full bush. Howard said if you like a full bush there's something wrong with you as a man. Howard said he doesn't like a full bush.
Robin said some women think that being shaved fully makes it seem like men want a young girl. Howard said it has nothing to do with that. He said it's about the hair being gross. Howard said Lenny Dykstra likes a full bush. Howard asked what that tells you.
Robin said that sometimes Marissa didn't take off her clothes. She said that night they saw her she did get naked. Howard said he'd be pissed if she didn't get naked. He said he'd demand his money back. Howard said he odes want to see Spider-Man and they should send it to him without his name across the middle of the screen.
Robin asked Howard if they insist that Stan Lee be a bad actor every time. Howard said he invented all of those characters and he thinks that the fans appreciate seeing him in it. Howard said he didn't make money off the comic books. Howard said he gets what Robin is saying but it's become a thing. Howard said he's not an actor. Robin said that people always whisper that it's Stan Lee. Robin said he reads lines and doesn't just say them. Howard said he's always like a passing cab driver or something. Howard said he'll whisper it to Beth too. Howard said she's like ''You fucking nerd.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a book recommendation for him. He said it's called ''Runnin' with the Devil''
and it's a look into Van Halen from a band manager who worked with them from 78 to 85. Howard said he would read that. Howard spent a minute talking to the guy but the guy was rambling about the book so he let him go. Howard said those guys were so great. He said they made some great music. Fred played ''Runnin' With the Devil'' as they were talking about them.
Howard said he should take a break and get to news. He said they don't want to overwork themselves. Howard said they have to just do 4 hours. He said that Kelly Ripa only does one hour. They do 4. Howard said this is a great show though. He said he was driving around listening to the show over the vacation laughing his ass off. He said he was laughing at himself. He said he doesn't remember half the stuff he says anyway.
Robin said they did a 30 for 30 about Mike and the Mad Dog. Howard said he heard about that. Robin said she saw Mad Dog out promoting it. Howard said he got annoyed hearing about how he and Mike changed radio. Howard said he was wondering what kind of reinvention of history that was. Robin said she didn't see Mike out doing any promotion for it. Howard said he must not care. Howard did a live commercial read after that. They went to break a short time later.
Today's show was over around 10:55am.