- Vacation Replays - Day 5. 04/29/16. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call to an internet radio show using clips of Howard talking about gay people, ''Harrison Ford's Ultimate Party Hits Volume 4'' commercial parody, a song parody about Robin, Rob Zombie performing ''The Great American Nightmare'' at the 2014 Howard Stern Birthday Bash.
Howard is off this week so they're replaying segments from the past few years. Here's what they played today:
- Guitar & Sharknado 2 - March 10, 2014. 04/29/16. 7:00am
First up this morning they played a segment where Howard talked to Benjy about his Sharknado shoot and more.
Benjy's Sharknado 2 Shoot. 03/10/14. 6:00am
Howard started the show talking about Benjy the star of Sharknado 2. Howard asked how that shoot went. Benjy said he got there on time on Wednesday. He said he couldn't find anyone at first. He said he did see the trailers there. He showed up at the Honey Wagon like they asked him to. Benjy said the woman gave him an intersection to go to. He went there and there were trailers. He said he went into the trailer that had his name on the door. He said he sat there and texted the producer and then they met up. Howard said it must be low budget if he's meeting on the street with no make up. Benjy said there was make up. He said they called his character a homeless guy. He said he felt it was more Sam the Prophet. He said he was warning people what was coming. He said he had a whole back story he made up.
Howard asked where he learned that. Benjy said his niece told him about that because she was in it too. He said his sister got him into the movie with her. Howard said without that family they wouldn't be making the movie.
Benjy told Howard that they wanted Howard to play a part in the movie and they were going to have the sharks attack the studio and Howard saves Robin from them. Howard said he'd have to be high to do that.
Howard said that Piers Morgan wanted him to do the last show he was doing at CNN. Howard said he was thinking about doing it but he had to turn him down. He said he would have had fun doing the Sharknado thing but he doesn't want to be in the shittiest movie of all time. Benjy said he likes it. Howard said for Benjy it's different. Benjy said they are very successful and people give them crap about it. Howard said he doesn't want his second film to be Sharknado. Benjy said it's not that bad. Howard said it's a goof but people don't get that.
Howard asked Benjy about getting made up and what happened then. Benjy said he was in his trailer for a long time. He said he only had a couple of lines so he tried to learn them. Howard said he has tried to remember the words to ''Hurt'' and he can't do it. He said that he was going to memorize them this weekend and then asked why he was doing that. Howard said he doesn't know the lyrics to any song by heart. Benjy said he doesn't either.
Howard said he worked on it all weekend and he still only knows half the chorus. He said he's not sure he could even do it now.
Howard said he was out to dinner with some actor friends and he asked how they do it. Howard said they have some way of remembering. Howard said he tries to remember ''Hurt'' and he can only get through half the first sentence. Benjy said maybe it's easier to sing it and remember it that way. Howard said he'll see if he can do it now. Howard asked where they got the new guitars from. Fred told Howard about the three guys that sent guitars to them. Howard said they have to rely on the kindness of others.
Fred said he wasn't sure if they could fix the Ovation guitar. He said that they have some others in there and one is an early type electric. Howard said they should give them a plugs. Fred said they're D'Angelico guitars.
Howard started to play ''Hurt'' on one of the guitars. He forgot the lines after the first one. Then it came to him. He continued on and kept singing. He forgot again eventually. He said he struggles with the words. Robin said he remembers the tune though. Howard said it's hard for him to remember the words. Robin said it must be a mental block. She said he's playing the song without sheet music and he can sing some of it. Howard said he did have the ideas for what the lyrics were.
Howard broke into ''Old Man'' and Robin kept talking over him as he was doing it. Howard was able to remember the lyrics to that song. He was able to play too. He forgot the lyrics about half way in. Howard said he only knows half of the words to one of the three songs he can play. He started to play ''Across the Universe'' and gave up after the first line or so.
Howard said he was going to start a new song but he asked how he can do that if he doesn't know the other 3 all the way through. Fred said he has the same problem as Howard does with the lyrics. He said actors have a muscle they can use to do that acting thing. He said he just doesn't have it.
Howard asked Benjy what his lines were. Benjy said it was only 3 lines. He said it was ''Repent Ye Sinners, the end is nigh.'' He said the next line was after he falls over when a guy walks into him. He said he loves falling over like that. He said he's good at that. Howard said he is good. He said he's seen him in the street doing bits for them and he crawls down the subway steps and his fat protects him. Benjy said they told him he couldn't do it because they have liability. Benjy said they told him he had to stop. Howard asked if he felt it. Benjy said he did the next day. He said he didn't feel it at the time.
Howard asked if the director is the same one from the first movie. Benjy said it is. He said it's Anthony Ferrante. Benjy said they had him warning people about the sharks and things like that. He said he wanted to throw in some other stuff about the bible but he was afraid they'd cut it out. Howard said he thinks it would have been okay.
Benjy said he figured he wanted to be taken by the sharks because he was a prophet. He said this was his back story. He said he was screaming in joy when the shark came. Howard said it was like the rapture for him. Benjy said it sounded a lot like screaming in terror.
Howard asked if he went to the director with this stuff. Benjy said they don't tell you how to play it. He said he did what the director asked but he did some stuff on his own too.
Benjy said Lisa G was there and he had to kick her out of his trailer. He said she was giving him direction on how to do his lines. He said he was thankful that she was there but he had to kick her out. He said he was so anxious that he needed time for himself. He said Elisa was there too and he was able to director her on what to do. He said he was hoping she'd get into the movie too. He said she told him to just work on his own thing.
Howard said Benjy threw himself on the ground and they had to calm him down. Benjy said they could have put pads on him but he turned it down.
Howard asked when he got out of there. Benjy said it was like a 5 or 6 hour day. He said he met Pepa from Salt & Pepa. He said he met Kari Wuhrer too. Howard asked if she's still hot. Benjy said she is. Fred found a picture of her and he said she's 46 years old. Howard said she's too old. He said she shouldn't have allowed herself to get that old. Benjy said Pepa is looking good too.
Howard asked how Lisa G and Elisa got along. Benjy said they were fine. Howard asked if Kari is really still hot. Benjy said he thinks he would say she is. Howard said she used to come on the show and she was really hot. He said she was annoyingly hot. He said you wanted to hate her for being hot because he couldn't have her. He said he was angry at her when she'd come in.
Howard said Benjy pisses him off too. Howard said Benjy is an actor now. Benjy said the movie is supposed to be out in July. He said he thinks he's integral to the movie. He said he doesn't think that they'll cut him out. Howard asked if he screamed when he was eaten. Benjy said he thinks so. Howard asked if he pretends to be eaten or what. Benjy said the director yells ''shark'' and he jumps back. He said he's not sure how they'll show the shark eating him. Howard asked if they do that in post. Benjy said they do. He said they tell him to look into the sky and then he sees it. Howard said they must need some kind of device and then lay an effect over it. Benjy said he'll be eaten by a cartoon shark. Howard said he's not sure how they do that. He said he thought they needed a green screen.
Howard said he can't bring himself to watch that stupid movie. He said he just saw one scene where he was eaten by a shitty rubber shark. Benjy said he thinks they used those but for his scene. Howard said there were scenes that looked like cartoons eating people. He said he imagines that's what Benjy's will look like. Benjy said his scene was the final scene they were shooting. He said they really wanted to get home. Robin said that usually shows in the movie too. Howard asked if he was being eaten when he fell down. Benjy said no. He said this guy Damon from Shark Tank was there and he walks past him. He said that he says that he's going to be eaten by a hammerhead shark and that's what happens to him.
Howard said that they're already talking about Benjy being shit out by the shark for Sharknado 3. Howard said Benjy might be the biggest star in the movie. He said they had Pepa and Kari. He said that Benjy is more happening than Kari is. Howard said Benjy looks like a big, fat pumpkin today. He said he's really full of himself. Howard said he called him a few times and told him that it was 3 am and asked if he wanted to hang out. Howard said he's a whole different Benjy now. Howard said he was asking when they're going to hang out with Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox.
Benjy said this was really exciting for him. He said he was proud to be a part of this iconic movie. Howard and Robin asked ''Iconic?'' Benjy said he thinks it is.
Howard said he imagined Benjy stealing food like Lena Dunham's character did in Girls. Benjy said he often stops by movie sets and eats from the Kraft services table. Howard said he must be ashamed to do that. Benjy said it's when they're set up on the street that he does it. He said they don't even question it. He said he didn't even eat on the set of this movie. He said he felt weird being there like he was actually supposed to be there. Howard said he can't wait to see this movie.
More Sharknado Talk And Phone Calls. 03/10/14. 6:40am
Howard picked up a call from a guy who was playing back the show. The guy said he has an idea for the next movie where Benjy becomes part of the 'nado. Howard said he gets knocked out of the movie when he gets eaten. Benjy said he thinks they could have him come back as a shark vampire. Benjy said that's his thought on that role. The caller said he could help guide the sharks in the next movie. Howard said maybe he eats his way out and becomes really fat. He said that would make sense to him. He said Benjy would shit out the shark bones and all.
Howard said he has a lot of questions about this movie but he's not sure he wants more Benjy. He said he thinks he had his fill. Benjy said they would love to talk to Howard about the movie. Howard said he has no desire to do that. Howard said that this is the worst fucking thing ever and he knows that Benjy is serious about it. Howard said it looks very cheap and it's made for 10 cents. He said they sell it to a cable channel and that's it. Howard said he didn't want to get into a business discussion about that. He said he's happy for Benjy though.
Howard said they have tape of Benjy on set with the director. Gary told Howard where it was. Howard asked Robin if she wanted to hear that. Robin said she did. Howard played the clip where the director was telling Benjy what to do in this scene. He was yelling ''Shark!'' when he was ready for the shark to attack. Howard said that was it. They did it in one take. Benjy said they actually did a couple of takes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the Chelsea Handler interview was great last week. He said there's a whole story about her in the NY Post about that interview. Howard said he had a few people telling him not to have her on and it was a weird mix of comments on her. Howard said she came on very ''dude'' like. He said she sat down and talked about fucking guys and things like that. Howard said it was one outrageous thing after another. He said she's one of his top 5 guests of all time. He said he's not sure what he's missing.
The caller said they should put the birthday show out on DVD or Blu-Ray. Howard said he's doing something even better but he can't announce it yet. The caller said he was there and he was in the group photo at the end of the night. Howard said he's not sure what it is but the security companies weren't doing their job. Howard said he doesn't mind sitting and mingling but he's not sure how everyone ended up on stage. He said whoever was doing security didn't give a fuck about their job. Howard said their whole job was to keep people in line and people were just getting on stage.
Robin said she told Howard about the 80 year old woman who just walked in and sat down. Howard said no one stops anyone and asks questions. He said that's the way of the world. He said that's just the way things go. Howard said the people who put energy into their jobs are gems. He said you can't run your business without them.
Howard took another call from a guy who was snoring. The guy was pretending. He asked Howard if he has ever had an argument with Beth over something stupid. Howard said she usually just quiets down and leaves if she argues. Howard said he had a bit of a tiff with her over rearranging his office. Howard said he thought she was being negative about it and he said ''You're not helping me'' and she walked out. He said he was tantruming like a child. He said he turns her into his mom and she'll just walk out when he does that. Howard said it's really effective to do that. Howard said that's as close as he got to an argument this weekend. Howard said he feels his office is too nice and he wants to mess it up. He said it looks so great but it becomes more of a shrine or a museum. He said he started moving stuff around and Beth got upset about some of the stuff he moved. He said he had to put a couch back and Beth was right. He said she asked him to move slower and not throw out the good stuff. He said she's more calm than he is. Howard said he isn't an arguer. He said that he doesn't like yelling or having confrontation.
Gary told Howard he had more Sharknado audio from the set of the movie. He had a clip of Benjy screaming at people to repent and a guy knocking him down. Howard said he's like the De Niro of Homeless people. Robin said it may be too good for Sharknado. Howard said Benjy screaming is the best thing he does. Fred played a clip of him screaming. Howard said they found the perfect job for him. Howard said being on the set of a movie is the greatest. He said he and Robin loved it and they still go every day. They went to break after that.
- Ceelo Green - September 10, 2013. 04/29/16. 7:45am
Next up today they played a CeeLo Green interview from 2013. Here's my rundown from that day:
CeeLo Green And The Goodie Mob Visit. 09/10/13. 8:05am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a woman using George Takei audio clips when he was doing an impression of Little Lupe. We also heard George Takei singing the ''Brad's Big Balls'' song parody. Fred also played Pearl Jam's cover of ''Reign O'er Me'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that's one of his favorite Who songs. Howard said that CeeLo Green is a judge on The Voice. Howard said that his name isn't actually CeeLo. It's Carlo.
Howard said that CeeLo left The Voice for a whole year. Howard said that he must be very valuable to them. Howard asked why he did that and let Usher take over. CeeLo said it wasn't his idea. He said that he did discuss maybe switching out the coaches here and there when an event might come up. He said that it was NBC's idea to do that. CeeLo said he had other things that he wanted to do and he went to Las Vegas to do a residency. He said he was working the same venue out there for two years. He said he really enjoyed doing that. Howard said that his price must have gone up after being on The voice. CeeLo said it did help in negotiations.
Howard asked if CeeLo was upset that Blake Shelton and Adam Levine were asked to stay on the show and he was not. CeeLo said he didn't think that people even know who he was. He said he thinks that he made himself irreplaceable on the show. He said he did watch some of the show with Usher on it and it was a pretty great premise. Howard asked if he was afraid that he'd be better than him. CeeLo said that he knew he had big shoes to fill. He said he wasn't threatened by it. He said that he knew he'd found his own niche there. Howard said the ratings dropped a little bit when CeeLo left. CeeLo said they did but just a little bit. He said he and Usher grew up together. He said he has nothing against him at all.
Howard said he didn't know how shitty CeeLo's childhood was. He said he overcame the background and made a success out of himself. He said that he was robbing homeless people and he was abusive to animals. Howard asked what he would do. CeeLo said that's a very peculiar story. He said that they found a bird with broken wings and they weren't so kind. He said it wasn't habitual or anything.
Howard said that CeeLo's parents were both ministers. His father died when he was 2. He said when CeeLo was 16 his mother became a quadriplegic. He had to take care of her after that. CeeLo said he did. Howard said that he was put in the father/mother role. He said that must have made him furious. CeeLo said it did. He said that it was the most anger he'd ever felt. Howard asked if that's why he went out and attacked people. CeeLo said that was part of it. He said that he had some unfocused energy and drama.
Howard asked CeeLo if he realized he had to rise above the whole thing. CeeLo said he had a big brother thing going on and he had Mr. Bailey taking him to baseball games and things like that. Howard asked if that works. CeeLo said it does.
Howard said CeeLo's mother died 2 years later. CeeLo said he had his grandmother after that. He said that they took care of his mother at home. He said his grandmother was sick at the same time too.
Howard asked if music was in his life all this time. CeeLo said his aunt was a lounge singer. He said he didn't stay with his mother a lot. He said he did stay with his aunt. He said she gave him a lot of support.
Howard asked what he played first. CeeLo said he learned drums first and then piano. Howard asked if he was a genius at the piano. CeeLo said he was never a genius and he's still not. Howard said he has written his share of hit songs though.
Howard asked when he wrote his first hit song. CeeLo said he was 17. He said that year was the same year his mother died. He said his mother did hear the promotional copy of the album. He said that his sister told him that she played it for their mom and that gave her some closure. Howard said she was on her death bed at the time. CeeLo said that's right.
Howard said CeeLo would go out and mug a guy and he would rob people of their jewelry. Howard asked why he didn't go into the life of crime. CeeLo said that he was a little shy about it initially. Howard said that it does require some artistry. He said this was his focus and he because good at it. CeeLo said he got caught doing some shoplifting. He said he became fond of that. Howard asked what the biggest amount of money he stole was. CeeLo said that there were these Starter jackets that were being stolen and he never killed anyone over that. He said he would do strong arm robbery. He said he never hurt anyone. He said he would do break ins and stuff though.
Howard said CeeLo could handle himself. He asked if he ever beat anyone up to the point of being unconscious. CeeLo said he may have if they came back for more. Howard said he seems almost like a hippie now. CeeLo said music saved his life. He said he could have ended up in jail like his many other friends.
Howard said he remembers seeing kids fighting in school and they'd get stabbed. He asked CeeLo if he had to do that kind of thing. CeeLo said he did have to fight.
Howard asked if his friends got jealous when he got successful. CeeLo said everyone he was still friends with at that time were all into music. He said he went to school with Andre 3000 from Outkast. He said that they were friends and he worked with them on their first album. That was his debut.
Howard asked if he's glad that he got out of that situation and moved on. CeeLo said he is. He said he wants to do better.
Howard said it must have made him feel better to mug someone after being in the situation he was in. CeeLo said that they used to say that hurt people will hurt people.
Howard said CeeLo's first couple of albums were with a band. He said he must have figured that his life was going to be set after their first hit. CeeLo said that they got $5,000 each in the band for their first album. He said he felt rich at that time but it really wasn't that much money. He was with the Goodie Mob at the time. CeeLo said that they had all grown up together and they did a lot of traveling. He said they worked it until it became a gold album.
Howard asked CeeLo about taking the short cut by going on The Voice and trying to get a career going. CeeLo said that he's very thankful for what he's gotten to do and the way he's been able to do it.
Howard asked CeeLo about working with Gnarles Barkley after the Goodie Mob. CeeLo said that their third album with the Goodie Mob was an artistic difference. He said that he thought rap music was limiting. He said he was willing to take the leap to do something different. He said one of the members lost his leg in an accident.
Howard said that Gnarles Barkley was CeeLo and that guy Danger Mouse. He said that guy has gone on to big success too. CeeLo said that he has. Howard asked why they broke up. CeeLo said that they still get along. He said they did that Gnarles Barkley thing on their own.
Howard asked how he comes up with vocals and things like that. CeeLo said that it's just something that happens. He said things just work out sometimes.
Howard asked CeeLo about this song ''Crazy'' and if it's true that Bruno Mars worked on the song because he claims he did. CeeLo said that he actually worked on ''Fuck You'' with him. Howard said that he's jumping all over the place. Howard asked him about his song ''Crazy'' and said that a lot of people have covered it. Howard said that it must be financially fantastic for him when people cover the song. CeeLo said there is honor there too. He said that it's very sweet to have someone cover it. Howard asked if he won Grammy's for it. CeeLo said he won 2. CeeLo said that he lost to the Dixie Chicks for Album of the Year that year. He said he felt it was kind of politically incorrect that year. He said he had heard his own song more than he heard the Dixie Chicks.
Howard said that Beyonce covered his song ''Crazy'' and he wondered if she put it on her album. CeeLo said that she didn't. He said that the compliment is priceless when they just cover his song. Howard said Beyonce has a great voice. Howard asked if he ever fantasizes about having a wife like that. He said that she's a big earner. CeeLo said he thinks that he could handle that. He said she's a very powerful woman and not really his type.
Howard said he thought CeeLo was gay. He said that he was married and has a son. Howard asked what broke them up. CeeLo said that he didn't cheat. He said that she thought she was holding him back. He said that she told him she would have let him go a long time ago if she knew she was doing that.
Howard asked if the breakup broke his heart and if ''Crazy'' was about that. CeeLo said that the song was about being called crazy and he resented that. He said he's actually a very sensible guy. He said that he could see his sensibility in lyric writing.
Howard asked if he's into drugs. CeeLo said he's really not. He said he's a wild flower though. Howard asked why people thought he was crazy. CeeLo said he's got a wild side. Howard said he thought he was gay just seeing what he would wear in his videos. Howard said he loves pussy though. Howard said that he isn't gay at all. Howard asked if he's fucked any contestants. CeeLo said he hasn't but he's tried. He said he has fucked an audience member. Howard asked how he does that. Howard said he finds it hard to connect with the audience in that way.
CeeLo said that the audience stagings are smaller than they appear. He said that he caught a wink from a woman and that's who he got. Howard asked if he has fucked an Asian woman. CeeLo said he has but not for free. He said he got a massage from a woman in Japan. He said she gave him a happy ending. He said she was as gorgeous as her ad. Howard said he has gotten massages in his life and no one has ever jerked him off. CeeLo said he finds that hard to believe. Howard said he has a small penis so he's embarrassed. CeeLo said that he's got a decent sized dick himself. Howard asked if he's like 9 inches. CeeLo said that he's about 7. Howard said that 5 is about average and he's about 6 himself. Howard said he's a bad driver with a bad car.
Howard asked CeeLo about the money rolling in after ''Crazy'' came out. CeeLo said that he's not rich. He said he's just fortunate after taxes. CeeLo said because of his wife's grace he still takes care of her. He said he still loves her too. He said that the divorce gave him the ability to show the unconditional love he has for her.
Howard asked CeeLo about how he spends his money. He said he doesn't own a house yet but he rents. CeeLo said that The Voice pays for the house. He said the house isn't a home. He said he has a ranch outside of Atlanta that he's holding on to. He said he's always wanted to leave. He said he took that ranch and wanted to give it away. He said that his spirit has evolved onto something more of a philanthropist.
Howard asked if he has a girlfriend now. He said he has a significant other. He said he's lived with her about 2 years now. Howard asked how he met this woman. CeeLo said that he was just getting to L.A. and his back was to the street. He said he heard someone saying that she loved him. She said he turned around to see who she was. He said that he got her number and saved that number. He said he figured she could be ''the one.'' He said he thought she was very accomplished with her health education business.
Howard asked CeeLo about getting more than one woman in bed and how that worked. CeeLo told Howard how it might be unsettling at first. Howard said that she must put up with it just to keep CeeLo around. CeeLo said that he thinks that she's played the straight and narrow and she enjoys him giving her that liberty. Howard asked if he brings them home to her. CeeLo said that she's in health education and she wants him to do anything that makes him happy. CeeLo said that she's beautiful and anyone below her bar isn't worth it. He said that they haven't done it that much.
Howard asked if CeeLo is comfortable with his weight. CeeLo said he's said that he's not out of shape, this is just the shape he's in. He said that Tony Orlando told him not to lose weight. He said that it's his brand now. He said he has lost about 25 pounds actually. He said that he thinks that his weight is just representing that working class. Howard said he thinks he has a good look going. He said that a heavy guy has to dress a certain way. He said that he has that good look going. Howard said he has a nice sweater on today.
Howard asked if he thinks about his weight when he's with a woman for the first time. CeeLo said that he thinks that it's a turn on. He said that he gets a kick out of the whole thing.
Howard asked if CeeLo has fucked a ton of women. CeeLo said that he hasn't done that many. He said that he didn't have a lot of time to get women. He said he wasn't a big star until later on in his life. He said today girls want to take a picture of you with your dick shriveled up while you sleep.
CeeLo said that Howard was offended by something he said when someone asked what Adam Levine's scent would be if he put one out. He said it would smell Jewish but he didn't mean anything anti-Semitic by it. Robin said that people make black reference when they're around her so maybe that's what CeeLo is thinking when he's around Adam. Howard said he gets what she's saying. Howard said that everything is black, black, black around a black person and that might happen with Adam since he is Jewish.
Howard asked CeeLo about working with Bruno Mars. CeeLo said that he was a staff writer when he met him. He said he worked with him and shared his stuff with him. He said that he felt awkward and uncomfortable working with them and he had to get out of there. He said that he went to the bathroom and never went back. He said that he was kind of offended by the fact that they thought he needed a staff writer.
Howard said CeeLo is upset that Bruno takes credit for the song ''Fuck You'' and he didn't write that. CeeLo said that he did help with the song but he didn't write the whole thing. CeeLo said that Bruno takes credit for it though. He said that the whole thing was taken out of context though and he did help write the song.
Howard said that the songs that come quickly are the ones that drive the writers crazy for so long. Howard played the song and said that all of these hit songs are a conglomerate these days. Howard said you almost can't do it these days. CeeLo said that Katy Perry is like a corporation. He said she's like on the board and writes songs with people. CeeLo said he tries to write songs on his own.
Howard asked CeeLo about the new song ''Special Education'' and said that he likes this one. Howard asked if it's on the charts. CeeLo said he really doesn't know. He said they did it independently so he's not sure how it's doing. Howard played some of that song and said that the new album, Age Against the Machine, is out now. He said he has a book called ''Everybody's Brother'' coming out too.
Howard talked to CeeLo about working with Prince and what that was like. Howard said he thinks the guy is nuts. Howard said he went to a private show he was on and the guy turned out all the lights and told them not to look at him. Howard said it was like listening to a record. He said he just left the party. Howard said he loves the guy too but that made him leave.
Howard said it's bull shit when an artist pulls something like that. Howard said that he gets a lot of pussy though. Howard said he might be getting too much. CeeLo said he's not sure if that's possible. He said he hasn't reached that climax yet. Howard asked CeeLo about his tattoos and why he has so many. CeeLo said that they were signifying different things and then he went in the artistic direction. Robin asked if he thinks about getting older with the tattoos. Robin said that things change and things move around. CeeLo said that he's a rock and roller so that's okay with him. Howard said that he's all over the place with his music so it's hard to tell what he's really into.
Howard asked if he's dropped acid. CeeLo said that he has tried it. He was in an all boys military school at the time. He said that he wasn't allowed to go to public school. He said he got into a fight with the principal at the school. He said that he hit the guy because the guy hit him first. CeeLo said he was kind of a target. He said he had an attitude and he was bad for everyone around him. He said that's why he tries to push productivity these days.
Howard asked if the Goodie Mob are good guys. He said that's who he's traveling with now. Howard had them come in. Howard said they look like they could beat some ass too. Howard asked if it feels good to have the Goodie Mob back. They said it's great. They talked about the band getting back together and what it was like working with L.A. Reid.
Howard said that they have a lot of excitement going on now. He gave them some plugs for the new album and CeeLo's new book. Howard gave him a plug for The Voice too.
Howard asked if the guys in the Goodie Band are getting laid too. They said they are. They all had someone last night.
Howard asked the guys in the band about how bad CeeLo was when he was a kid. They said they all grew up together in Atlanta. CeeLo told Howard about how he smacked someone who gave him some crap. Howard said he seems like such a gentle hippie and he can't imagine him doing that. Howard asked the guys in the band if they've ever fought. They said they all get along actually.
Howard asked if they have ever had the same girl with the whole band and how they choose who goes first. The guys said that they let CeeLo go first. One of the guys was saying that they had a girl once who was turned around backwards so she couldn't see the rest of them. Howard said he'd have a hard time getting it up if h had a bunch of other guys in the room. CeeLo said it's only been a couple of times. Howard said that he might have to read CeeLo's book if he has that kind of stuff in there.
Howard gave the guys some more plugs for the album and the book. The guys said they have a Goodie Mob TV show coming up on TBS soon too. Howard said he might have to check that out too.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and tried to tell CeeLo how much she loves him but Howard cut her off and took another call.
King of All Blacks called in and said that the guys can never come back once they cross over to the white audience. One of the guys said that's just not true. He said that Michael Jackson did that his whole career. Howard said King makes statements that are just ridiculous. King said that he's smart. King started to get into it about the women that let you sleep with other women and how you can't do that either. Howard cut him off and took another call.
Anther caller asked about Christina Aguilera and how it is working with her. Howard said he heard she was a pain in the ass the first season. CeeLo said that she's the only diva and she's also one of the best vocalists they've ever had on the show. He said that she's over that whole thing. Howard said he acts like a normal person on AGT. Robin got a laugh out of that. The caller said that The Lady Killer is a must have in any music collection.
Another caller said that CeeLo couldn't be an ass kicker with his T-Rex arms. Howard told him to come down there and say that. Howard said he'll have someone beat his ass.
Howard said the fun is over and it's time to work. He gave the guys more plugs and went to break a short time later.
- Ralph Vs. Ronnie - April 15, 2015. 04/29/16. 9:05am
Next up today they played a segment where Ralph and Ronnie yelled at each other. Here's my rundown from that day:
Ralph Vs. Ronnie. 04/15/15. 9:55am
Howard took a call from Ralph who said David sounded a little unstable. Howard said he's just upset. Ralph said Howard calls people back and he's the busiest guy he knows. Howard said he did call David. Howard said he had about 5 minutes to talk and he tried calling David. He said that he left a message for David and he told him to call back but he was going to be busy. He had spotty reception with the phone though. Howard said he did leave him a message. Howard said David didn't sound like he was having a good time.
Ralph said he wanted to talk about Ronnie saying he got upset about the trunk thing yesterday. Ralph said that Ronnie never told him what time they were leaving. He said that's Ronnie's job. Howard said he told Ralph what time they were leaving. Howard said he asked him and he told him 7am. He said that they had to fly out at 8.
Ronnie told Ralph that it's not his job to tell him things. He said he works for Howard, not Ralph. He told him not to ask him anything. He said Ralph is a piece of shit. Ronnie said Ralph was worried about his bag of oranges and he had to yell at him about the tail gate. Ronnie said Ralph got angry at Joe for taking a seat on the plane. He said Ralph isn't the star there, Howard is. Ronnie kept yelling at Ralph and didn't let him get a word in.
Howard said this is the crew he brings with him. Ronnie said that he doesn't bother anyone there but Ralph bothers everyone. Ronnie said he wanted to bother his car too. Ralph wanted to talk about Ronnie wouldn't let him get a word in. Ronnie said that no one falls to the ground for Ralph. He said they all talk about him behind his back.
Howard said both of these men are over 50. Ronnie said that Ralph is there but he won't admit it. He told him to change his hair cut too because it's horrible. That cracked Robin up. Ronnie told him to take Howard's sunglasses off too. Ronnie said he was carrying on like a lunatic at the airport. Ronnie said that he broke Howard's washing machine too. Howard said that he is kind of rough on things.
Howard said that Ralph got upset with Joe for taking his seat. Ralph said he wanted to go to sleep and h wanted to go to the same place he slept on the way out there. He said he eventually moved. Ronnie said he took about 10 seats that day. Howard asked Ralph what happened with the tail gate. Ralph said he didn't try to close it. He said he was just touching it. He said he was looking for a button when Ronnie yelled at him. Ronnie said he told him that he'd fucking take care of it.
Ralph said that the air conditioning wasn't working in the limo either. Ralph said that the air comes out of the floor. Howard said this is the team he has out in L.A.
Ralph said that Ronnie created all of this. He said he did this trunk thing and other stuff. Howard said David Arqutte's message of love is lost on these two. Ralph said that all he did was touch the tail gate and he loses his fucking mind. Ronnie said too bad. He said he told him not to touch anything. Ralph said Ronnie doesn't know his way around L.A. either. Ronnie said he never said he did. He said he's responsible for Howard's security and getting his cars. Howard said that's true. Ralph said maybe he should let Howard know when the cars are coming. Ronnie said he did let Howard know. Ralph said he should have told him. Ronnie said it's not his responsibility. Howard said this is why he didn't want to have more kids. He doesn't want to baby sit these two.
Ralph was trying to talk about Ronnie was talking over Ralph. Ralph said he can't say anything. Howard asked Ralph about the dinner party he had and how he was going to pay for it. Ralph said it wasn't a dinner party. He said he just got together with some friends. Howard asked how he was going to pay for it. Ralph said he has money. Ralph asked Robin if he's ever taken her out. Robin said he has.
Howard said he has to get out of there on time so he has to end this. He said he has to get to news. Ralph said he wishes he could block Ronnie in real life like he does on Twitter. Howard said they're going to have to see each other and work together. Howard said Ralph can't act like that. Howard said he was fighting with Toni, Tanya and Ronnie. Howard said no one can fight with Toni other than Ralph. Ralph told him he was right about something out there. Howard said he was but he wasn't right about the tail gate thing. Ralph said he's right about everything.
Howard said he's not even telling them half of what went on out there. Howard said he has to get to news. He said he has to be out of there by 11. Howard said he has a meeting. Howard asked what he has to do. Fred said they have to catch up on commercials. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
- Carol Leifer - April 7, 2014. 04/29/16. 9:30am
Next up today they played a Carol Leifer interview from 2014. Here's my rundown from that day:
- Carol Leifer Visits. 04/07/14. 7:10am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a woman using Mr. T audio clips. Fred also played Cream's ''Crossroads'' while the break was happening. Fred also played a Maria Menounos song as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he had to run to the bathroom. He said that Carol Leifer is there. He said she has a new book called ''How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying''. Howard said she lost a lot of weight. He said she's all svelte. Carol said she lost 15 pounds on Weight Watchers. Howard said that's old school. Carol said it really works. Howard said he had a friend who was on it but they didn't give him enough food so he ordered double portions. Carol said you eat whatever you want but you have a point system.
Howard said he ate a bunch of steamed food last night but it was a ton of it. Howard said he's so happy because it's a lot of food. Howard said he has like 2 grapefruits every day. He said he also has a GNC shake. Carol said she has to try that. She said that you can eat any fruit or vegetable you want and it doesn't count toward the points. Howard said you just have to keep your intake under control. He said that's the key.
Howard said Carol is very busy behind the scenes in show businesses. Howard said Carol was one of the writers who worked for Seinfeld. Howard said she wrote a lot of those episodes. Howard asked if she writes a script on spec or how did that work. Carol said they didn't' want anyone who worked on Sitcoms before. She said they wanted new people. Howard said she had been a stand up for years. Howard said she also wrote on Saturday Night Live. Howard asked if she was ever on camera there. She said she was just a writer. Carol said she auditioned to be on camera. She said that Al Franken was there and so was Jim Downey. She said they liked her but they offered her the writer gig instead.
Howard asked if that was a disappointment to her when she writes a great Seinfeld or something and then doesn't get to be in it. Carol said it doesn't. Howard said it would kill him. Howard said Carol has written some of the biggest Seinfeld episodes of all time. Howard said she came up with the shrinkage episode. Carol said that she would come up with a general idea and then Larry David would say that was a show and they'd go with that. Howard said he thinks that it's the hardest job on the planet. Howard asked how many other writers there were. She said there were about 10. Carol said that she had an office to work in. She said that was the most fun part of it. She said that you're hanging out with funny writers all day. Howard asked if they help her write the episode. Carol said she came up with the lip reader episode. Howard asked how that whole process works. Carol said she came up with the idea for the episode where the shrinkage thing happens but Larry came up with that part of it. She said the brilliance that ends up on TV is filtered out by Larry and Jerry. She said she talks about this stuff in her book. She said they always made her stuff better.
Howard asked if she ever asked why they took something out. Carol said she did not. She said that they knew what they were doing and you don't want to ask that. Howard asked if she still watches those shows and thinks about how she came up with the ideas. She said she absolutely does. Howard asked if she ever wants to tell people she came up with the ideas. She said that the credit is there in the credits of the show.
Howard asked if it's a big payday for her. Carol said that she gets residuals. She said that Jerry and Larry have the fuck you money but she has some residuals. Howard said she has the money where she still has to go out and write a book to make money.
Howard said he has some of the episodes she wrote for Seinfeld. Howard said she wrote the lip reader episode. Carol also came up with the part where Elaine played deaf in the taxi. She said that came out of her own real life.
Howard read about some of the other episodes she wrote and she wrote one about Elaine going to a nail salon and thinking that the people there speaking Korean were talking about her. That happened to Carol and she used it in the script. Howard asked how you give that over to the Seinfeld show and not keep it for yourself. Carol said that situation was a very good sitcom idea and not really a stand up idea. She said that this all works together with Jerry and Larry's ideas too.
Howard asked how long it takes to do something like that. Carol said it can take a couple of weeks. Howard said he thinks that idea was brilliant for a show. Carol said she still gets free manicures from the shop they used a shot of the exterior of. She said that's how thrilled the woman was.
Carol said that they had a part for someone on the show and they wanted to get Liza Minelli to do it. She said they were on the cusp of being a big hit but they had a hard time getting people on the show. Carol said that they had Marjorie Gross writing for the show and she wrote some great episodes.
Howard talked to Carol about another episode where they had a skinny mirror in the episode. Howard said he has a mirror at home where he looks like a monster. He said when he's at the gym he looks great. He said he sent a lighting guy to the gym to figure out how good he looks. Howard said he looks good in that gym mirror and the guy told him it's very dark there. Carol said that's a Seinfeld episode. Howard said she already wrote it though.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if she had to write all of the story lines that go on in an episode. She said that Jerry and Larry would add so much stuff into the episodes. She said that's how it became the pyramid of comedy that it was.
Howard said he talked to Jerry about doing another sitcom and Jerry asked why he would do that and try to top that thing.
Carol said they shot the Marble Rye episode and that's the one where Kramer gave the horse some ''Beefarino'' and this prop guy gave her the can of that stuff. She said the movers took the can and threw it out thinking it was an empty can. She said she really fucked up. Carol said another story line in that episode was Elaine having so much oral with a saxophone player that he loses his lip. Howard asked if she's ever had that happen to her. Carol said she has not. She said that she thought about her friend who plays Sax and how that could happen to him.
Howard asked if she's ever been embarrassed to pitch something. Carol said the greats that you work for encourage an environment to just offer it up. Howard asked if she's ever been ridiculed for something. Howard said he wants the guys to go wild in the writing meetings. Howard said that they can always fix something. Howard said that they will throw something out and they'll goof on them. He said that you can't do that though. He said you have to be safe. Carol said everyone has shit ideas. She said that it's okay.
Carol said that Larry had a tick where he's move his shoulder around and say ''no'' to you. She said that when he liked something he'd leap out of his seat and say ''That's a show!''
Carol said it's great to write something and give it to the actors who elevate it 1000 percent. She said that the lip reader thing was great because Michael Richards made that ball boy thing great. Howard said he loved him on that show Fridays. Carol said he was always working on his stuff and choreographing what he did. She said he wasn't just winging it. She said he put a lot of thought and effort into it. Howard said it's pretty cool that she was part of that whole thing.
Howard asked if her phone was ringing off the hook after that. Carol said it was. She said she went to Larry Sanders after that. Howard asked how many episodes she wrote there. She said that she probably had one or two in that one season she was there. Howard said he loved that show. Howard asked if that was a totally different experience. Carol said it was. She said it was amazing working with Gary Shandling and the writers there. She said that working with a group is way better than just doing it on your own.
Carol said she's been doing this stuff for 37 years. She said she started stand up in 1977. Howard said she
auditioned for Johnny Carson 22 times and he never put her on. Carol said that's right. Howard asked how she auditioned. Carol said they had a guy come out to see her do her act at a club. She said it was Jim McCauley who came out. Carol said that Letterman actually suggested her for the Tonight Show. She said that they passed on her first tape. She said they just weren't interested. Howard asked if that's devastating to her. Carol said Letterman got his show and she went on his show. She said that he gave her an open door policy. She said that she did stand up 26 times on that NBC show. Howard asked when he stopped using her. Carol said she got into her writing career. She said she was writing for Seinfeld and then he went to CBS. Carol said she was on with Dave for her last book. Howard said it's weird when you get cut out. Carol said she wasn't doing stand up so it was fine. She said she got a blurb for her book from that.
Howard asked if the blurbs on the book help. Carol said it really does. Howard said he hates writing those things and he doesn't want to be on them. Carol said she knows that and what he went through with Greg Fitzsimmons. Carol said that she asked Steve Martin, Jimmy Kimmel and JJ Abrams to write blurbs for her book. She said they all did it. Howard asked how she asks them to do it. Carol said she says she'd love it but she would understand if they didn't want to. Carol said no one said no to her. Howard said he would have. He said that could have been a good story for her book.
Howard asked how she got Letterman to write the blurb. Carol said she had to send an email to one of her friends there. She said that he passed it along to Dave and Dave passed it along and so on. She also said that she got blurbs from Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock. She said she had to cut Jerry's down. She said that she got one from Mark Cuban too.
Howard asked if Carol thinks she should be rich from writing so many shows. She said she likes working so that's okay. She said she should be rich though. Howard said Carol is buddies with Jay Leno. Carol said that Jay is a very nice guy. She said he believes in the rule of 10. Howard asked what that rule is. Carol said Jay is very nice to other people. She said Jay thinks that if you take a picture with him then that person will go and tell 10 people that he was nice to them. Howard said Jay just isn't nice to other celebrities. Carol said that's Howard's point of view.
Howard asked Carol about writing for the Academy Awards. She said she has written for Billy Crystal, David Letterman and Alec Baldwin. She said she wrote for Chris Rock and Ellen one time. Howard said last time she was on she was talking about being the creator of Ellen's sitcom. Howard said he thought that she was close to Ellen but he heard that she won't return her calls. Carol said she saw Ellen at the Kimmel party for Howard. Carol said she doesn't think people know how crazy booking a show is. She said The View asked her to come on and she would love to do that. She said the Andy Cohen show got in touch with her too. She said the other shows she would like to do say that you can't do The View and do other shows. She said they block you if you do certain shows. She said she did Watch What Happens Live and now she can't do Kimmel. She said that's so not a conflict. Howard asked what's going on with that. Carol said that's what they told her publicist. She said she has no idea why that is.
Howard asked Carol why she thinks Saturday Night Live wasn't a better experience for her. Carol said that it was the year that Lorne Michaels came back. She said they had a very eclectic cast that year and it was weird. She said that she was hired by Al Franken and Jim Downey. She said while she was working there she was always pleasing them. She said she never felt that Lorne took to her. She said she would do things differently now. She said she pulled back and flew under his radar instead. She said that she wouldn't do that now. She said you can't please the number 2s, you please your boss. Howard said that sometimes the loudest noise gets the most notice. Howard said Carol talks about Sal in her book and how he ended up getting hired there. Carol said that if someone told her years ago that Sal the Stockbroker was going to wind up one of the writers there you'd be floored. She said you have to be relentless though.
Howard asked if there is a photo of Sal's foreskin in there. Carol said there is not. She said she wasn't able to make that happen.
Howard said carol's book ''How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying'' is coming out tomorrow and she'll be signing copies at the Barnes and Noble on 78th and Lexington.
Carol said she's also writing for the show ''Devious Maids'' which is premiering on April 20th on Lifetime. Carol said that's a fun show.
Carol said that she's also got a big announcement to make. Carol said that she and Lori have been together for 17 years. She said she loves her dearly. She said that she hates calling her ''partner'' so now she can say that she is her fiancee. Howard asked if they're going to have a fabulous wedding. Carol said she would like a big wedding at the Bel Air hotel but Lori may not. Howard asked if she will invite Ellen. Carol said she's not sure about that. She said that's possible. Carol said they wanted to the wedding when their son is old enough to remember. He's 8 now. Carol asked if they should get married on the Stern show. Howard told her to have a real one and not ruin it. Howard congratulated her on that. Howard said Carol and Lori are a great couple. Howard wished her a lot of luck. Howard gave her some more plugs. Howard said she's always great on the Celebrity Superfan roundtable. Carol said that there should be one next month according to Gary. Gary said they want to do one around the Memorial Day weekend.
Carol said she's completely dedicated to the pussy now. Howard said she did date Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser though. She said she knows King of All Blacks won't be happy about that. Howard said that he wishes her luck with her book. He gave her another plug and said they have Dan Rather coming in. Robin said that Dan has been on the show before. Gary said he doesn't remember that. He said he may have been on the phone.
Carol said she's also there representing the Stern Facebook Superfans. Howard said she should be ashamed of herself for that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
- Dr. Drew On Staff - March 11, 2015. 04/29/16. 10:15am
Next up today they played a segment where Howard talked about Dr. Drew analyzing the crew on the Wrap Up Show. Here's my rundown from that day:
Phone Calls, Wrap Up Show Clips And More. 03/11/15. 1:15pm
Howard took a call from Johnny Fratto. Johnny always has a bad phone connection. Howard said he used to think that it was Eric's fault when he'd call in but it was Johnny. Howard said today is Eric the Actor's birthday. Howard said he's gone but today is his birthday. He played a happy birthday song for Eric with him saying ''Ack, ack''. Johnny said that was a perfect tribute. Johnny said that he would have been 40 today. Howard said he has to hang up on him because of the phone connection. Johnny said he hates that phone. Howard let him go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if her entourage will be over or under 8. Howard said under. He said they met some of them yesterday. Howard said she's coming in stealth.
Howard said he wore some nice clothes today. He said he prepared for Madonna. He said he showered today. He said he had sex last night so Beth thought that might be a good idea. Howard said he had to wash the sex off. Howard said he heard Richard showered too. Howard said his favorite Madonna song is a cover that she did of a Metal song. Gary said it was a Pantera song she did once. Howard said he's a heavy metal maniac.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Dr. Drew was analyzing the crew. Howard said he nailed everyone. He was saying that Fred might have Aspbergers. Fred said he's been told that before. Howard asked what the symptoms are for that. Fred said that there is a disconnect from real life. Howard said Fred's wife straightened him out a lot.
Howard said Drew also mentioned that he's waiting to have lunch with Robin. Robin said she doesn't know when he's in town. Howard said he heard that Gary was trying to get in touch with Robin by email and text and he wasn't able to get in touch with her. Howard said she doesn't check her messages at all. Robin said she didn't see an email from Gary. Howard said he has to carve out time for her to get her straightened out. Howard said she's harder to find than Jihadi John.
Howard said he guarantees that she has thousands of emails in her inbox. Robin said he's right. Howard said he has to show her how to get things done.
Howard played some of Dr. Drew talking about what each of the staff might have. He had Drew talking about what he thinks Howard has and what the symptoms are. Howard said he's been going to therapy for 20 years and he can't get that fixed. Howard said he's tried working on it. Howard said he was so down today that he almost didn't come to work. He said he was afraid of fucking up the interview with Madonna. He said he started shaving his arms when he was looking in the mirror too. He said then he went on Twitter and read some of the comments there. Howard read some of the comments and people were calling him ugly and telling him he looks like a gross spider. Howard said he knows that and they're just confirming it.
Howard said then he comes in and someone went out and interviewed barbers about his hair. He said that was a good idea. He played some clips of some barbers talking about how bad he looks.
Howard played a clip from a show that the guys called using clips of Robin talking about measuring a penis by stretching it. They went to break after that.
More Dr. Drew On Wrap Up Show Clips. 03/11/15. 1:30pm
After the break Howard came right back and got back to the Dr. Drew audio clips. He had a clip of Drew talking about Richard's drinking and how he will have medical problems. He said that he is going to have medical problems in the future no question. Drew was also saying that the workplace is the last place that's affected by alcoholism. Dr. Drew said he will have brain problems eventually no mater what he thinks.
Howard said Richard told everyone that his liver is in perfect health. He said it's good until it isn't. He said it could happen next month for all he knows. Howard asked Richard if he heard what he was saying or if he thinks it's all bullshit. Robin said they tell him he has a problem all the time. Howard said he tells him that all the time. Howard said they call him out all the time.
Richard came in and said that Drew has never hung out with him and seen how much he drinks. He said things get exaggerated. Richard said he has been wheeled around an airport but that was years ago. Howard asked how much he drank in the last week. Richard said he's not drinking during the week. He said he had maybe one or two this week since Monday. Richard said maybe one beer a night. Robin said he went from not drinking to having one a night. Howard asked if he had 100 last week. Richard said he never said he had 40 a day. Howard said Richard told him he did.
Howard said Richard told him about his weekend once and he counted up the drinks and it was like 40. Richard said he doesn't count them physically. Howard said it's not unusual for him to drink 30 beers. Richard said that is unusual. Robin said now he's going to lie about it.
Howard asked how many drinks he had at a beer festival. Richard said it was just a bar and not a real beer fest. Howard said regular people don't go to those. He said alcoholics do.
Robin said she drinks wine but not the whole year. Richard was ready to argue with her but that put that to rest. Howard said that he has a lot to drink during a football game. Richard said he doesn't drink that much during the game. Howard asked what he thinks about what Drew said. Richard said he understands it's not good to drink a ton. He said he had maybe 7 or 8 at the beer fest thing. Howard asked about taking a suitcase full of champagne on a train ride. Richard laughed.
Fred asked if Richard heard that his brain chemistry is changing and if that gets to him. Richard said there's so much going on in this world right now. Howard said maybe he has 5 more good years. Howard said in 5 years his liver is damaged and his brain is damaged, would that bother him? Richard said of course it would. Howard said that he cut down once he heard his liver had a tiny bit of an elevated level. Robin said Richard would be miserable if he had to stop drinking for a couple of weeks. Fred said he finds excuses not to stop.
Howard said he heard Richard called Gary to apologize for drinking at dinner. Richard said he did. He said everyone was drinking though.
Howard said he heard that he wrote a letter to Jet Blue asking them to stock champagne. Richard said he did and they do now. He said it's Jet Blue.
Gary said that Drew was saying that the long term effects will catch up to him eventually. Howard said that's like a football player who gets concussions a lot. Howard said he knows Richard isn't going to stop. He told him to drink away. Richard said he could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Robin said she hopes that happens before he has brain damage from the drinking.
Howard said all Sam Simon wanted was to have a long life. Howard said guys who are 40 don't even think. He said they have no idea what it's like when they're 60. Robin said she thinks about Leonard Nimoy too. Richard said he enjoys doing it and he's sorry. Howard said he's just worried about him. He said that's enough of that.
Howard said Richard has a nanny cam on his Guinea Pig. He said that the thing has a tooth that has to be filed down and it costs him $500 a month to get it done. Richard said he won't eat his hay and that's what's supposed to grind his teeth down. Richard said the 500 is on the cheep end too. He said if his tooth hurts he won't eat. He said they can tell by how much he poops. He said that they have to give him medicine and x-rays and that can cost $1000. Howard said this is more work than what's going on in Gary's mouth. Richard said they can't pull the tooth either. He said they could break his jaw and then he'd be done. Howard said that's a lot of money but you should see what he's spending on these cats.
Richard said his dad can't believe what he spends on this rodent. He said they love him though. He said they can't let him suffer. Howard said he's a sucker for all of that himself.
Howard played a clip of Dr. Drew talking about Fred and putting him in the spectrum of having Aspbergers. Fred said he thinks the guy is full of gibberish. Howard said he says this with peace and love but he can tell there is something going on in there. Fred said he is an introvert and he grew up in an immigrant's home. He said that makes him socially inept. He said he doesn't think it's Aspbergers. Robin said she has said that all along. Robin said that it's just the way he grew up. Robin said he was raised by wolves. Howard said Fred used to read the encyclopedia as a kid. Fred said he was bored. Howard said he was bored too but he didn't do that. Robin said Howard didn't do anything about it. Fred did.
Howard said that Fred doesn't really have any friends and that's what makes him think that he has Aspbergers. Howard said he knows Fred pretty good. Fred said he does not. Howard said he chews on his pens. Howard said he wishes that Guinea Pig would do that. He said at least Fred doesn't have to get his teeth filed down.
Howard said Fred didn't invite any co-workers to his wedding. Fred said that has nothing to do with it. Howard said Fred is the reason he found his wife and he didn't invite him. Fred said he didn't invite anyone but his immediate family. Howard said he wouldn't have gone anyway. Fred said he'd bitch and moan if he had invited him. Robin said she's not sure why he didn't invite her. Fred said he'd never hear the end of it if he did. Howard said he feels like Fred is on another planet. Robin said he has a very active mind. Robin said he is a free associater. Howard said he's just busting his balls anyway. Fred said he knows. Fred went off on Drew for talking about people like that and for what he did to Robin.
Howard said Sal was talking about his bed levitating when he was a kid and Dr. Drew explains what was going on with that. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Drew said that's a classic night terror. He said it's all hallucinatory. Howard said he's right.
Howard said he knows people who have had traumas and that's the kind of thing they have. He said they have all kinds of hallucinatory things happening to them. He said it's very real to them and you can't convince them that it was hallucinatory. Howard said there you go. He said Sal is a big dope and Fred has Aspbergers. Howard said now you know the rest of the story. Howard played a Whiplash parody featuring Gary playing trumpet as they were going to break.
- Leaving AGT - August 11, 2015. 04/29/16. 10:50am
Next up today they played a segment where Howard announced he's leaving America's Got Talent. Here's my rundown from that day:
Howard's America's Got Talent Schedule. 08/11/15. 7:45am
After the break Howard came right back. He said they're taking tomorrow off because he's doing America's Got Talent live tonight. He said he knows people get bummed out when they do that but he's not 20 years old anymore. Howard said he has to calm down after he gets home. He said that takes like an hour. Robin said it does take time to come down after that. Howard said he beats off. He said he has to get undressed and beat off. He said that takes a half hour these days. He said then he has to watch some TV. He said he may watch America's Got Talent to see what he says. Howard said then he'd have to get up and do the show. Howard said it's only 6 weeks of live shows. Howard said he's going to try out one Wednesday and see how that goes. Howard said he may do a Wednesday show. Howard said they're using up all of their days off on Wednesdays. Howard said that's why he had to quit America's Got Talent. He said it's fucking up his vacation schedule. Howard said he's not taking off in October because of that. Howard said he needs some down time. He said now he has to stare at Benjy through October. Howard said America's Got Talent starts at 8 so he may be able to do it this time.
Robin said she has a question about Sharknado. Howard said they have to stop doing the or get some special effects. Howard said it's just the idea of the movie that's funny. Robin said the second one did well. Howard said he talks about it constantly but he's never seen it. Howard said it's funny to talk about it. He said the bottom line is that he can't sit through it. Robin said she saw a few minutes of it but she didn't get through it. Howard said it's like America's Got Talent because there are so many boring acts. He said tonight he'll be live and they can't censor him.
Howard said it's going to be a good show tonight. He said they have a bunch of good acts coming up. Robin said they had a mentalist who was boring this last time. Howard said he figured out how to do those tricks. He said he thinks he can do it now. Howard had a pad in front of him. He asked Robin to think of a city in this country. Robin said she's thinking about it. Howard asked her what the city was and said he got it wrong. Howard asked her to think about a name of a guy she dated. Robin did that and Howard said he got that wrong and threw out the paper. Robin said she gets how he's doing this now. Howard was just writing down her last answer on the paper. Howard showed Robin how the trick worked. Howard said that's how that guy did his trick.
New Jim Breuer Phony Phone Call. 08/11/15. 7:55am
Howard said he has some great stuff to play. He said that he has Michael Rapaport and Matthew Berry coming in to talk about Fantasy Football. Howard said Berry wants to come in without Michael in there for 5 minutes. He said that he knows Michael won't let him talk.
Howard said Jim Breuer did a phony phone call as Goat Boy calling a religious show. Howard said he heard it and it's so funny. Howard played the call and Jim was doing an old guy voice at first. Jim said he could use a prayer. He told the woman what happened to him and now he finds himself making goat sounds. Jim then started doing his goat sounds as he was praying with the woman. Howard was cracking up hearing it. Jim kept doing it and the woman was praying for him and saying he has to pray too.
Howard said he has to have Jim in there to call different shows as Goat Boy every day. Howard said it's so great. Howard said they should play that call every day for a year to get people off of that religious stuff.
Howard said that the overwhelming support for Beetlejuice's new album was great. He said that Beet has a few new songs coming out and they have a video coming out too. Howard said he can play the new single called ''Beetle in the House'' and it's one of the catchiest tunes ever. Howard said he can picture it being played at Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux's wedding. Howard said he wants to play it today but he only has 47 seconds of it. Howard played the song for Robin.
Howard asked how good that was. Howard said he dances to it every time. He said he loves it. Robin said they need a radio mix though. Howard said they're on satellite so they don't need one but there is one. Howard said that song was nominated for a Special Grammy. He said he played ''Don't Worry Be Beetle'' yesterday. He played it again.
Howard said that he loves Beet's ''See You In Hell'' too. Howard played some of that. Howard said he's counting Beet's money for him with these songs. Robin said she's trying to think of what kind of mood she'd have to be in to listen to the whole album. Howard said he thinks Beetle in the House will be a huge hit. Howard played ''Beetle in the House'' again. They went to break after that.