- Kanye West Interview Clips. 12/04/13. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call Richard made to a Christmas store where he made only Christmas and holiday references, The Wack Pack 12 Days of Christmas song with Crackhead Bob, Elephant Boy, Croy and Beetlejuice, Sal Governale's ''Smelly Teeth'' song parody about Gary Dell'Abate.
Howard started the show talking about Kirstie Alley stopping by today. He said he saw her sitcom and it's very funny. He said he sat through two episodes and he enjoyed it. Howard didn't know where it was airing. Fred said it's on TVLand. Howard said the show is funny. He said his problem is that he can never find sitcoms. He said he did like this one a lot though. He said he's anxious to talk to her.
Howard said that Kirstie was on Dancing with the Stars and lost 100 pounds. He said he has to talk to her about that and the stuff going on with Scientology. Howard said that she has said that she has no problem with anyone who leaves any religion. Robin wanted to know if she still talks to Leah Remini. Howard said they'll find out later in the show. Robin said according to Leah no one in Scientology is talking to her after she left.
Howard said he wants to commend one of his fellow broadcasters there at SiriusXM. His name is Sway and he's on Shade 45. Howard said he did an excellent interview with Kanye West. Howard said he wasn't able to get Kanye on the show himself. He said that Sway has this chip on his shoulder and he thinks he's the greatest artist of all time with Shakespeare and Andy Warhol. Howard said Kanye thinks that he's a genius and he should be backed by these corporations because he's such a genius. Howard said if he was such a genius he would just go out and do his own thing. Howard said he never imagined a huge career where people offered him TV shows and things like that. Howard said he never expected any company to bend over and give him anything he wanted. He said he had to go out and prove himself first. Robin said back in the old days you needed sponsorship. She said this is not that day.
Howard said that America isn't based on someone just giving you something. He said if someone doesn't recognize what you can do then you go out and do it yourself. He said that's the American way. Howard said this Kanye thing is wild. He said that if you heard this guy on the street you'd have him locked up. He said he does commend Sway on this great interview. He said they have a whole other world down there at Shade 45. Howard said he went there when they first got there and he got the sense that he should just leave.
Howard played some audio of Kanye talking about how he's the most impactful artist of their generation. He said that the corporations should stand up and let him do his own thing. Sway told him to just do it himself. Kanye said he doesn't have the answers. He said he's been doing this more than him. Kanye said he hasn't been doing the education. Sway tried to calm him down but Kanye was on a roll going off on him. Sway said that he has put out clothing lines himself. Kanye said they don't know the name of his clothing line. Kanye said he didn't have the knowledge so he lost the money. Sway told him he's trying to talk to him as a homie but Kanye didn't want to listen. Sway said he was trying to ask him a question and talk to him like a civilized person. He said he goes to his concert and he wants to hear what he has to say. He said he doesn't have to turn on him like that.
Howard said this is the greatest thing ever. He said that was great. He said that was good radio. Howard said it was a home run. He said that was Sway and Kanye and Sway was right on the money. Howard said when he thinks about his own career he had to prove himself. He said a good lesson is that you don't take your own money and put it into your own clothing line. Howard said you don't have to put up your own money if it's going to be a good thing.
Robin asked why he can't call Sean Jean and see if they'll put out clothes for him. Howard said that she doesn't have to get in his face. He said he's just asking questions. Robin and Howard went back and forth like Kanye and Sway.
Howard said Ralph Lauren is out there too. Robin said he didn't have help starting his company. Robin said he had to figure things out himself. Robin said Kim Kardashian has her own clothing line too so he should ask her about that.
Howard said that he has more clips of Kanye. Howard said he was lecturing people during a concert. Howard played that clip and Kanye stopped the show to ask what was going on with the lights. He was asking why they were fucking with the show. He told someone to turn the lights off and turn them off now. Howard said this is Kanye talking to the man. JD was laughing at the clip and Robin said he must really like it. Howard said maybe he's trying to sell it a little bit. JD said you don't hear people stopping a show in the middle of a concert.
- Underdog Lady Clips. 12/04/13. 6:15am
Howard said he asked Shuli for more Underdog Lady clips. He said that she won't talk to him on the radio so Shuli has to talk to her on the phone. Howard said she prefers to be referred to as just Underdog. Howard said he gave her the name Underdog Lady. Her real name is Suzanne Muldowney.
Howard said the other day they heard Underdog talking about her shits and how she has loose stool. Howard said he has heard her talk about this thing before. He said she wants to perform a song solo in church but they won't let her do it. Howard said this clip is Underdog talking to Shuli about this solo song thing. Underdog said that they were allowing another woman in the church to sing solo but not her. She was crying as she was telling Shuli this. She said that they told her that no one voice was more important than any other but now they're letting this woman sing solo.
Howard said he loves the way Shuli talks to her. He said that he talks to her like a shrink. Howard said he whines over people not letting him do things and it's no different than this. Howard said this woman must go in there and hock them to do this thing every day. Howard said they're like pseudo parents to her and she's like a child that's tantruming. Howard said we're all like that in some way in our lives.
Howard asked if Shuli was around. Howard said he has to applaud him for a great interview. Howard said he's working very hard in the news room. Shuli did his low ''shrink'' voice for a second. Shuli said that his wife tells him that this woman is going to find him and put him in her basement some day. Howard said she might fall for him. He said this is what every woman dreams of. Howard said he's sure she's never had this from anyone else. Shuli said she does hit on him in one clip.
Howard played the clip where Underdog talks to Shuli about what happened to her with her surgery and Shuli asked what he could do to help. Underdog says that she can't say anything like that over the air. Shuli told her she can tell him anything over the air. He told her that he'd give her a hug if he could. Underdog laughed.
Howard said that's the first time the line was crossed. He said she crossed it first. Shuli said that there's never a vibe that she's into anyone. Howard asked Shuli if it would be unethical to cross the line wit her. Shuli said that you don't give up your sources but he's not sure about banging them. He said she's very religious and hugging and cuddling is like third base to her.
Howard said just imagine Shuli marries Underdog. Howard said he can divorce his wife and marry her. Shuli said he has a clip of her singing in there too. Howard said he has to play that and a Lisa G clip.
Howard said this is what they call hard work around there. Howard said hard work is putting a tape recorder under someone's chair.
Shuli said he found a story about Joey Boots using drugs and alcohol and he did an intervention and it was all Wack Packers who were in the intervention. Howard asked where that is. Gary said he just got it to listen to. Howard told him to just give it to him and he'll play it.
Howard asked where the clip of Underdog singing is. Gary told him where it was so Howard played that first. Underdog was singing a song for a Miss Crustacean pageant. Shuli said that was for a parade for crustacean. He said she finds all of these things and goes to them all. He said she'll dress up as Shelly the Sea Shore Mermaid for that. He said she sometimes just walks down the street and dances and some where she wears costumes. He said she came in first in a costume contest with a couple of kids that were dressed up too. Shuli said she has problems from the infection she had. He said she lost part of her colon so she gets explosive diarrhea and she can't do her jump spins. He said she has to run off the parade when she gets that.
Gary told Howard that they may be able to get her to do the birthday show. Shuli said they have to call her and surprise her with it. Howard said she gets driven over the edge by him. He said anything he says makes her mental. Howard said that she may want to do 4 hours of a song for them. Howard played more of her singing. He said she may need a diaper too.
Robin said they have to talk her into coming out for AGT auditions. Robin said she would love to see the rest of the judges. Howard said if he can make that happen it would be fabulous. Gary said Shuli is very deep into it with her. He said he's way into her world. Shuli said he's way in too deep.
Howard asked how often he speaks to her. Shuli said he tries to talk to her once a week. He said he missed the call last week and she called him and left an angry message. He said she had some anniversary of something that she wanted to talk about. Shuli said he had to fake a fire alarm one day just to get off the phone with her. He said he just went ''Wooo! Wooo!'' to make it sound like a fire alarm.
Howard said Lisa G talks constantly in the news room and Shuli records her. Howard said they just want to get their work done back there and Lisa insists on talking back there. He said she doesn't have a lot of people to talk to so she does it at work. Howard said any thought in her head just comes out. Howard asked where the clip is. Gary told him where that was.
Howard played the audio of Lisa talking about the train accident. She said they have to fix the track. Howard said now they're saying the guy fell asleep while he was driving. Robin said they're saying he was in some kind of hypnotic state. Robin said he sort of drifted off and didn't know what was going on. Howard asked if he thought he was a turtle. Robin said turtles don't know how to drive a train.
Howard replayed Lisa G talking about the train and she was talking about how they use a hole puncher to punch the ticket. Lisa also talked about watching a Barbara Streisand special over the weekend.
Howard asked what Leiberman does during those talks. Shuli said he just grunts. He said he's very grunty in the mornings. Howard and Fred created what that would sound like with clips from Ed Wood. Howard said that Leiberman is stuffing staplers in his ears just to cope. Shuli said there are days when he says he just can't take it. Shuli said he's immune to it after being next to her for 8 years now. He said Jon has to put work into it.
Shuli said that Lisa used to scare him with her gasps. He said she'd gasp over low fat yogurt having fat in it. Shuli said that she'd come in and make an announcement about them charging 10 cents more for lettuce downstairs. Howard said he'd love it if they put a log of what she says on the web site.
Howard asked Shuli if he thinks Leiberman can put it out of his head eventually. Shuli said he thinks so. He said that this goes on all the time and he bets it goes on at her apartment too. Howard said maybe she saves it all up for work.
Jon Leiberman came in and said that he grunts because he wants to respond in some way but he can't formulate an intelligent response to all of her comments. Jon said that she throws things into the universe and just mentions Turkey on Thanksgiving and then she'll pause. He said he's the only one in the room and he feels he has to respond in some way. Howard said he doesn't have to. Jon said it's awkward though and he's trying to figure out what to say. He said she'll do it three times if he doesn't respond. Howard asked if he's every tried not answering. Jon said he will and then she'll just make up her own conversation. Jon said he's never wanted to converse with her about anything in there. He said it's not the right time or the right topic with her.
Howard said it seems to him that Lisa is a nice person. Lisa came in and said she doesn't care about any of this. She said she just has to talk. She said she gets into it when Howard is talking. She said she's not sure why she wants to respond to Howard but she does. Jon asked if Lisa can sit in there during the show. Howard didn't really answer. Jon said when Howard comes on the air she gets a second wind of nothingness. He said she'll start to quiet down around 6 and then Howard comes on and she gets going again.
Howard said Lisa reads the papers and does her monolog. Howard asked what grabbed her attention in the paper today. Lisa said she pitched that Howard could do a Selfie. She said that it's in the news and she thought it would be great if he did one like Kim Kardashian does. She said when she saw it on the cover of the post she thought it was great. Shuli said she screamed ''Oh my god!'' in the news room. Lisa said she did write it down. Howard asked why she has to tell these guys. Lisa said she has no reason for it.
Howard said Lisa talks about eating turkey on Thanksgiving but does she want Jon to respond. Lisa said no. She said she just wants to talk. Jon said sometimes she'll turn her chair and poke her head out and say her comment while looking at him. He said he feels he can't ignore that. He said that's when he grunts. He said if she's just talking to her computer that's okay.
Howard asked Lisa if she does this at home. Lisa said no. She said she only does that when she's there reading the paper and listening to Howard. Howard said she must like having an audience. Lisa said maybe to hear but not to react. Lisa said she gets really fueled up when Howard is on.
Shuli said Jon will put on headphones so it looks like he's working. Lisa said she wishes that Howard could hear what she's saying. Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. He said it's like a show no one wants to hear.
Howard said they did think about putting Lisa on Howard 101 during the show so they can hear her comments. Howard said they figured it was too much trouble for something that people are just going to complain about. Jon said they should do a Birthday Show ticket giveaway by having someone sit in his seat for a day. Lisa said that she wouldn't say things to a stranger that she would say to Jon and Shuli.
Howard congratulated Lisa on a great piece of tape. Howard thanked Jon and Shuli for coming in too. Howard let them go a short time later. Howard played the Underdog singing clip again. They played Gary playing trumpet over her too. Howard said maybe they should have a Miss Crustacean contest there just to get her there. He went to break after that.
- Clips Of Janice Dickinson Bad Mouthing Howard. 12/04/13. 6:55am
After the break we heard a prank call Richard made to a guy about their 50th class reunion. Fred also played James Brown's ''Mother Popcorn'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked if that was Popcorn number 1 or 2. Fred said it was just Mother Popcorn. Howard said he listened to James Brown over the weekend.
Howard said he has some tape of Janice Dickinson and she's being cunty in the clip. Howard said she has an internet radio show. Howard said they give people like that jobs there at Sirius. Howard said they give people topics that cant possibly work on radio but they do it. Howard said if 50 people want to hear it then it's fine. Howard said no one wants to hear from Janice Dickinson anymore. He said that she brings up how she doesn't want to fuck him because he's so ugly. Howard said she should look in the mirror. Howard said she was a model and now she's trying to hold onto that face and she looks like the joker. He said he doesn't want to beat her up too much since she's down already.
Howard played the clip and Janice was asking if they would rather sleep with Howard Stern or ''David Leno.'' Howard said she's showing her age when she can't even get that name right. Howard said she sounds like his mom. He said that she's like his 85 year old mother trying to get Jay Leno's name.
Howard played the clip and the other woman on the show said she'd rather have Stern. Janice said Leno has more money. Howard said Janice is a whore who is just into it for the money. Howard said in her mind she would rather bang Leno. Howard said Jay may have a little more money than him. He said that no one has to pay Janice to fuck her. Howard said it's not going to benefit her.
Janice said that she wouldn't bang Howard if he was the last man on earth because he's so ugly. She also mentioned that he's Jewish and they love him for that. Howard said that's an anti-Semitic statement. He said he knows that when he hears it. He said he's had it enough in his life to know it. Howard said the only reason they know of her is because she's so vomitus.
Howard played more of the clip where Janice is talking about how she's seen better faces on battle flags and other places.
Howard said he's not sure why she's so angry. Howard said he might know why actually. He said he was invited out to a bar one nigh when he was single. He said he walked in and Janice was there at the bar trying to look young. Howard said she might be one of the scariest people on the planet. He said that he'll have her on the show to show just how crazy she is. Howard said that's the appeal. Howard said she thinks she's really smart but meanwhile she's not funny and no one is laughing at her. Howard said he had Janice on the show a couple of times. He said her face is so pulled back that she makes weird faces. Howard said he said hi to her and she was saying hi to him. Howard said he basically ran away from her because he didn't want to talk to her. Howard said she asked why he was walking away. He said it was so clear that she did want to fuck him. He said he couldn't be more frightened of a woman than Janice Dickinson. Howard said he'll have her on the show any time but he wasn't looking for aggravation with her at the bar.
Howard said he ran as far away from Janice Dickinson as quickly as he could. Howard said a summer or two ago he saw her walking on the streets of the Hamptons and he said he tried to avoid her. He said she saw them and yelled out to them. Howard said she obviously wants something with him. Howard said he doesn't say that with pride though. Howard said that when she looked like a normal human being he probably would have fucked her. He said now her looks are gone and all they see is crazy bitch. He said all that's left is a mess. Howard said it's hard on a woman when she loses her powers.
Howard said Janice Dickinson is an older woman who should have left her face alone. Robin said she doesn't think that it would have made a difference. Howard said she's trying to hold on to her body and titties. Howard said she's like The Wolverine giving up his powers. He said that's a great idea.
Robin asked why Superman gave up his powers to be with Lois Lane. Howard said they made that up for the movies. Howard said in the comics he fucked Lois. He said he just had to be careful. He was the man of steel so he could have split her in half. Howard said he wishes he'd fuck Janice.
Howard said the feeling is mutual with Janice. Howard said he got to make that choice when he ran away from her in the bar. Howard said at least his face has aged and it's natural. Howard said she let a guy do that to her face. He said she's a dummy. Howard said he might be the only person willing to have her on a normal show and she shits on him. Howard said he's not a braggert but he knows that she wanted him that night at the bar. He said his penis, for the first time ever, wanted to go home and watch TV instead of fucking a woman. Howard said that's how bad Janice looked. Howard said that he runs across the street when he sees her now. Robin said that's painful for a woman like that. Howard said that she only got paid because she was good looking while he's lived with his looks his whole life and still made money. Howard said he'd like to welcome her to the world of ugly because she's in it. Howard said she can keep dreaming about the day she wasn't in it but now guys will run from her. Howard said she has to figure out how to get guys. Howard said he doesn't need to do that now.
Howard got a note from Gary saying that they passed on her asking to come on the show the last few times. Howard said that he will expose people like this. He said he would never bring up that fact if she didn't attack him. Howard said if she's going to attack then he's going to expose them.
- Howard's Germ Phobia. 12/04/13. 7:15am
Howard took a call from a guy who said Fuck that cunt Janice Dickinson. Howard said now he feels bad. The caller asked if Beth is the kind of person who lets a dog lick her all over. Howard said she does but he asks her not to let the dog lick her on the mouth. Robin asked if she lets dogs lick him on the face. Howard said he doesn't like it but Bianca used to slip one in. Howard said he has such a germ phobia. He said Howie's is worse than his. He said that he has people shake his hand hello and he has to go wash. He said he doesn't want to insult people by fist bumping them. Robin said she's going to start bowing to people. Howard said that most colds are shared by hand shaking. Howard said he doesn't need a cold.
Howard said he was in a meeting with Gary yesterday and he was coughing stuff up. Howard said Gary handed him a pen that he was coughing into during the meeting. Howard said he asked him not to hand him that pen. He asked Jim McClure to hand him the pen instead. Howard said Gary had pictures that he was holding and he didn't want to touch those either. Howard said he's trying desperately to stay healthy and Gary looks at him like he's insane. Howard said he just doesn't want to touch anything he has touched after coughing.
Gary came in and said he's fine but something was going on in that meeting. He said nothing was coming up. Howard said there was something coming up. Gary said that Howard refused to touch the pictures so he had to hold them. Gary said that he told the guys in the office and they thought it was nuts. Howard said that he doesn't want to touch a pen he was coughing into for an hour.
Howard said Gary licked his thumb and then moved the pictures. Gary said that might be true. Howard said then he was holding it. Howard said he's grossed out by it. He said this fucking guy is coughing and then licking his finger and moving the picture. Howard said Gary doesn't even know he has a cold. Gary said Howard left yesterday and he sounded just like he sounds this morning. Howard said he was coughing yesterday and there's something going on with him. He said he has a chest cold or something.
Gary said the entire office is sick but all he sees is him. Howard said Gary was the one who was coughing. Howard said he can't monitor everyone in the office. Howard asked who was sick in the meeting. Gary said he isn't going to say. Howard said he should be protecting him. Gary said he can't talk about this. Howard asked why. Gary said he just can't. He said the person is above him. Howard said he should still say it. Howard said he should tell him in private. Gary said he thought it was obvious. Howard said he wants to know if he thinks someone is sick.
Gary said he doesn't know how to explain it but when Howard looks at him he gets sicker. Howard said now he sounds like Janice Dickinson. Howard said he wants to move on now. Robin said that Gary may just have things in his lungs rattling on.
Gary said that Jason was saying that he can't believe that he still gets nervous around Howard after all these years. Howard said he loves his boff and that's why.
- A Birthday Show Ticket Game. 12/04/13. 7:20am
The caller said he lives in Canada and when he turned 21 it was the year Howard was on in Montreal. He said that he was so pissed back then. He said that he's glad that Howard came back on Sirius. He said he knows Howard is giving away tickets. Howard said they are getting hate mail from fans in Canada who think they can't win. Howard said they are giving them to them and you just click on the thing that says ''Click here if you're from Canada.'' Howard said the rules are different up there. He said they still want you to think you're something other than the United States up there. Howard said they're so desperate to hold on. Howard said if they just look at the web site they can enter the contest.
The caller said that Quebec wants to be its own country and doesn't want to be part of Canada. Howard said that's why he was kicked off the air up there. Howard said he was number one within one day on radio up there. Howard said that they're not France up there and they got upset about what he was saying about France.
Howard said he'll give the guy a shot at winning. Howard said that they are going to play a game to win tickets. Howard went through some of the rules and said that you can enter to win tickets on HowardStern.com or SiriusXM.com.
Howard said Gary has a game in his hand. Gary said he has like 5 games. He said that he has a Big Foot game where they have to guess if he'll know what certain things mean. Howard said they asked him if he knows what Viagra is. Howard said he's giving him one shot at this. He said he thinks he's heard Big Foot talk about Viagra before. He could be wrong though and it could be the guy who does the impression of Big Foot.
Howard asked the caller, Vinnie, what he thinks. Vinnie said he's going to go with yes. Howard played Big Foot's answer and he got it right. He said it gives you a hard on. Howard said that he got it right so he won tickets. Howard put him on hold. Howard said it's going to be a great night.
Gary told Howard that he booked 3 guests he hasn't told him about. Howard said he did tell him one this morning. Gary said there are two others that he hasn't told him about. Howard said it should be great. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
- Robin's Broken Toe And More. 12/04/13. 7:35am
After the break Howard came right back and said he got a note from a friend who is in the business. He said that they were wondering why the Weather Channel is hiring Sam Champion. Howard said they were talking about that yesterday and his friend explained that NBC has some ownership in the Weather Channel and they have to try everything they can to stop Good Morning America. Howard said they gave Sam a boatload of money and they are trying to hurt ABC that way. They will have him on the Today show eventually and he's already making appearances on the show.
Howard said the pope came out and said that he was a bouncer at a bar in Buenos Aries. Howard said that he's seeming like a more normal guy every day.
Howard said that there's a rumor going around saying that Robin forgot she was supposed to be on Andy Cohen's show tonight and she has delayed it by a week. Robin said she has delayed it but she doesn't know about how much. Robin said she broke her toe and she had to make some changes. Robin said she hit the foot of her sofa and broke her toe. Howard said it really can fuck you up when you do something like that. Robin said it hurt like hell when she did it. She said she just took it because she was on the phone and didn't want to yell.
Howard said he puts shoes on all the time. Howard said he doesn't want to break his toe again. He said it's so stupid and painful.
Howard said he thinks he has some songs about Robin and her calendar. Robin said it just happened yesterday. She said that can't be. Howard said he listened to them last night. Gary told him where they were. They had 3 songs already.
Howard played the first song which was by Richard Christy. He sang ''Robin's Not a Calendar Girl.'' Howard said Robin called him last night and wished him a Happy New Year. Robin asked when they return from vacation. Howard said she was CC'd on that. Howard said he's had it with her. Howard said he knows she got the schedule. Robin said Howard doesn't have all the answers.
Howard played another song parody about Robin. That song was to a Christmas song. Howard said that was Eli Braden.
Howard said yesterday they played tape of people who were in love with inanimate objects. Howard asked Robin if she knows what that's called. Howard said it's like Objectum Sexualus. Howard said that's when you fall for a bridge or a car or even a monopoly board. Howard said JD dressed up as a table today so he can have some woman like that fall in love with him.
Howard said there was a study done that ranks states by penis size. Howard said North Dakota has the biggest by average in the United States. Rhode Island is second. Howard said South Dakota is 3. New York is number 9 and South Carolina is 10. Howard said he's not sure how they know this. Robin said they don't know.
Benjy said he looked it up and he thinks that it was a study done by Condomania. He said that the South Carolina thing doesn't make sense because there are more black people down there. Howard said that's a myth that they have bigger penises. Benjy said it is not a myth.
Howard said there's a lot of Paul Walker pictures in the paper. Howard said he's like the next James Dean. Howard said there are photo montages all over the place. Howard said he doesn't want that happening when he dies. Howard said he has one bad hair style after another in his photos. Howard said he goes places and poses and doesn't turn out as good as Paul Walker. Howard said it must be a blessing to be that good looking. Howard said he should have just sat home looking that good. Howard said he didn't need to be driving cars.
Howard said he has to take a break before Kirstie Alley comes in. Howard said she did the Match Game before she was famous. He said it's online and it's funny to see. Howard said they had Brett Summers on the show and she was barely famous. Howard said Charles Nelson Riley was on the show making fun of her. Howard said they had some actor from a show you've never heard of. Howard said Dick Martin was on the show and so was Jamie Lee Curtis. Howard said Gene Rayburn would come out with that long microphone that looked like a penis. Howard said the guy looked like he wanted to fuck the shit out of Kirstie Alley. Howard said they never even said she was an actress. He said they called her an interior designer. Howard said she wasn't working as an actress at the time. Howard went to break a short time later.
- Killing Time Before Kirstie Alley. 12/04/13. 8:00am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a guy using clips of Howard reading Eric the Actor's tweets. We also heard a Manly Tip from Richard Christy's Dad. Fred also played Metallica performing ''Nothing Else Matters'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked what song he missed. Fred told him it was the Metallica song. Howard said he wanted to hear a little but it was near the end. Howard said that's beautiful. Howard said it makes him want to be in a band.
Howard asked where Kirstie Alley is. Robin said she thinks she's in her dressing room. Howard said he didn't know she was there. Howard said he has a lot of questions for her. Howard said Billy Joel has a lot of fans in the area there in New York. He said that he's signed on to do a show once a month at Madison Square Garden. Howard said it's like what Celine Dion or Britney Spears has been doing lately. Howard said they do that in Vegas and they have a set location for doing shows. Howard said that Billy is going to work out of Madison Square Garden as long as people want him to. Robin said that was a great announcement yesterday. She said some of the shows have already sold out. Howard said Billy still has a strong voice. He said h knows Billy and he doesn't do any exercises with his voice. It's just natural.
Howard read some email and some people were slamming Shuli for the stuff they talked about yesterday. Howard said he got some positive feedback for Richard Christy. He also got some mail about the car shopping he's been doing. Someone told him to leave King of All Blacks off the phone because he kills the show. Howard said a lot of people are getting slammed in the email.
Howard said that someone wrote about how he corrected Jeff the Drunk's grammar and he doesn't do that with King of All Blacks or Gary. Howard said he doesn't have great grammar either. He said he asks Beth to correct him when he gets it wrong. He said he has a Someday Maybe list and that's on the list. He said he'd like to take a class. He said he hopes Robin would go with him.
- Kirstie Alley Visits. 12/04/13. 8:10am
Howard said Kirstie Alley is ready. He said he saw her new TV show and he liked it. Howard said that he saw her up there with the rest of the cast and they were doing a Town Hall there. Kirstie said she's never met Howard in person before. Howard said he saw how famous she is when the Paparazzi were downstairs waiting for her. Kirstie said they just want to see if she's fat. Howard said that's so true. He said people love redemption stories. Howard said they love people who are thin and get fat and then get thin again. Kirstie said it's sort of the girl next door kind of thing where they get on drugs and then clean up.
Howard said Kirstie has said that she was eating 8,000 calories a day at one point. Kirstie said she was drinking Stewarts grape soda. She said she was having about 12 a day. She said you don't think that it's that bad for you but it was intense. She said she was trying to be Donna Reed that summer. Howard said he's annoyed by people who can eat whatever they want. He said he can't do that himself. He said he would like to get his stomach completely fat and he can't even do that. Kirstie said that's wheat. Howard said that's not wheat. He said that gluten free shit is such bullshit. Howard said he doesn't know how wheat became gluten.
Howard said he saw Kirstie's new sitcom and he hates sitcoms. He said he enjoyed her show. Howard said if he doesn't like something he won't talk about it on the air. He said he really did like this show. Howard said he likes that they have Michael Richards in the show. Howard said the guy is brilliant. Howard said he used to watch him on the show Fridays and he was great on that show. Howard said he really got known on that show. He said it was like a Saturday Night Live kind of show. Howard said he thought Richards career was dead.
Howard asked if Kirstie had anything to do with the casting of the show. She said she did. She said that she and Rhea Perlman worked together on Cheers. She said they didn't think they were going to be able to get Michael. She said that he was on Seinfeld and that was such a huge show. She thought that he was going to be very picky about the shows he did. She said Michael came in for the part and the network wanted to see them all together. She said that Michael came in and they just wanted to see how they worked together. She said that's what the networks like to do. They want to see if you have a connection and charisma.
Howard asked if Michael acts extra nice to the black people on the set. Kirstie didn't say. She just said ''Oh my god.'' Howard said that maybe they got him at the right time. Howard said people hold on to that N-word thing he did. Kirstie said that she fucked up recently herself. She said she can't tell him what she did though. She said she said something to her family and it upset them. Kirstie said she said something that could upset her family. Howard asked if it was the N-word. Kirstie said she loves that he calls it the N-word. Kirstie said she loves when they do that with the C-word. She said that she has only used it twice. She said that she likes ''gash'' better than other words. Howard said that snatch can be kind of disgusting. Kirstie said that no word is off limits. She said if it makes her laugh she doesn't care.
Kirstie said that she and Howard share a birthday. Howard said that's right. He said that Rush Limbaugh and Rob Zombie do too.
Howard said he loves Kirstie for slamming Roman Polanski. Howard said he raped a 13 year old girl. Kirstie said that you just don't get to escape certain things. She said the crime was just too much. She said that some people forgive you if you're an artist. She said that rape isn't something you can apologize for and get away with it.
Howard said that Kirstie was an interior designer. Howard asked if she ever had casting couch things happening and if she was ever raped. Kirstie said she made a decision when she moved to Hollywood that she would only go to legitimate offices in legitimate buildings. She said she knows people who had meetings in hot tubs and she knows there isn't anything good that can come from that.
Howard said Kirstie got successful pretty quickly. She got into the Star Trek movie and that was her first break. She said that was her first break ever. Howard said he watched her on The Match Game and Gene Rayburn looked like he wanted to fuck her brains out. Kirstie said he never came on to her. She said that she can make someone look very bad if they come on to her the wrong way. She said she puts them in their place. Howard said after one of her marriages she said she regretted sleeping with someone who had a small penis. Kirstie said that it wasn't just small. She said it was like the size of a 4 year old. She said that he should have had an announcement that said it was so small. She said it was almost invisible. Howard asked if it was like that flaccid or erect. She said both. She said that he was like an eraser. She said if he had just said it to her then she would have been okay.
Howard asked if the guy was famous. She said he was. She said that if he had just told her ahead of time she would have been fine. Kirstie said she was having fun at that time of her life and she had slept with 4 guys. She said that she thought it was smarter to have sex with men instead of marrying them. She said she got married very young. She was 16 when she met the first guy she married. Kirstie said he knows a lot. Howard said he knows everything about her. Howard said she married that guy at 20. Howard asked if her parents went berserk. She said that was normal back then. Howard asked if his penis was good. She said it was great. She said that was worth marrying for.
Howard said that Kirstie's mother died right as she got the Star Trek job. Kirstie said it happened right before. She said that her parents were in a car accident and her mother died and her dad was hurt very seriously. She said they waited for her to test again for the movie. She said that they told her she had the part in that room that day. She said it was remarkable. Howard said that the first job that people have in Hollywood is usually the best one they get. Howard said that it's unusual for them to be patient with you when something like that happens.
Howard asked how many times she had to audition for the movie. She said she had to do it 5 times. She said she had very tiny jeans on and she had no money so she had just enough to buy that outfit. Kirstie said that was her good luck outfit. It was also the only one she had.
Howard asked if she had an agent. She said she did. She said the second they said they were hiring her she got the paperwork for the agent thing. She said she's never seen paperwork fly so fast.
Howard asked if she ever went to any of the conventions. She said she went to one but back then it wasn't cool like it is now. She said they were asking her about what Warp Speed meant and she had no idea. Howard said they have even weirder stuff now. He said there are guys who are into My Little Pony who have conventions.
Howard asked Kirstie if she had dreams of being an actress as a child. She said she did. She said that she didn't start acting until she was 30. She said they assumed she was around 23 though. Howard said when they find out she's 30 they sometimes don't want you.
Howard asked if she was good at interior design. Kirstie said she was good. She said people would pay her $100,000 and tell her to just go do her thing. Howard asked if she went to school for that. She said she didn't go to school for anything. Kirstie said when she was 16 she fell in love and she didn't think she was going to be an actress or anything. She said she moved to L.A. to get into Scientology. She said she was fucked up and she had an awareness that she was dead as a being. She said she could feel that she had smashed her life force. She said that she did that with drugs. Kirstie said that she didn't do drugs until she was 25. She said she got divorced and started hanging out with a guy who had done all of his drugs but he had friends. She said she heard that cocaine would make her happy and peppy so she tried it. She said wanted to do that every day for the rest of her life after trying it once.
Howard said Kirstie got to write her mother a letter for being a bad kid right before she died. Howard said she probably appreciated that. Kirstie said she thinks she did. Kirstie said that her mother was afraid that she was going to be raped. She said that men would say she had bedroom eyes and her mother thought they were being pervy. She said her mother had experiences in her life that she didn't want her to have. Kirstie said she had only slept with one person in her life and her mother assumed that she was like a hooker after the divorce when she fell for one other guy. Kirstie said her mother must have thought she was promiscuous along the way.
Howard said Kirstie looks like she can fuck like a wild woman. Kirstie said looks must be deceiving. Howard said maybe they are. Howard said Kirstie wasn't a bad kid or getting into trouble. She said she had her times. Howard said she must have just been fighting back. Howard asked why she wrote her this apology. Kirstie said she was having issues and this is part of the Scientology thing. She said she had to take responsibility for some of the things she did as a child. She said that she was kind of wild. She said she said things that she didn't actually do when her parents would ask her.
Howard asked if it haunts her that her mother never got to see her get her movies. Kirstie said she's not like that. She said there are people who won't let you off the hook but she will never play that game.
Howard said there was a time when she was on drugs after the Star Trek thing. She said that people think there were no drugs in Kansas but that's just not true. She said she loves Kansas though and she still has a house there. She said she goes back often when she's not working.
Howard said Kirstie thinks that she was the bad one in her marriage. She made out with a guy while she was married. Kirstie said she was only 20 when she was married and she thought she was old. Kirstie said when she got divorced at 24 she thought she was used up and wasted. She said that's when she started doing drugs.
Howard asked Kirstie if she's upset that she wasn't able to work that marriage out. She said she's not but she sees people who have been together so long and she's envious of them.
Howard asked Kirstie about how she got into the Scientology thing and how she knew how to get into it. She said she didn't know how to get into it. She said she had a friend in town who was into it. She didn't know much about it. She asked if they could help her with compulsions and her friend sent her the book Dianetics. She said she was high the whole time she was reading the book. Howard said he has to be high to read a book too. Kirstie said that she got to the end of the book and it was either the world's biggest sham or the biggest discovery. She decided to move to California to find out. Howard asked if she told her parents what she was doing. She said she did. Kirstie said her parents didn't even know what cocaine was when she told them that she was strung out on it. Kirstie said that she told them she was going to do Scientology. She said on her birthday her mother handed her a present and it was a dictionary. Her mom told her to look up the word ''cult'' in there. Kirstie said it was very benign and it didn't scare her. She said she knew she could get out if she had to.
Howard asked what religion isn't a cult. Kirstie said that we can all agree that their own religion is right and everyone else's is wrong.
Howard said he thinks it's crazy when people criticize scientology. He said every region is crazy. He said it's all insane. Kirstie said she doesn't take it all literally. Howard said he knows people who take everything literally. Kirstie said that she has read the bible and she thinks there are parts of every religion that are stunning and poignant that she could adopt in her own life. She said that it's a big generality to diss every religion.
Kirstie said that she doesn't care what religion you are. She said she will have your back no matter what religion you are if you're being attacked. Kirstie said that it's a faith you have to give you hope. She said that it's really wrong to do that to people.
Howard asked if she's upset that Leah Remini is so vocal about leaving Scientology. Kirstie said she has hundreds of friends who have come in and left Scientology. She said that they aren't forced to stay in. She said when you generalize and your goal is to malign an entire group, that's not right. She said there are her enemy if you go around doing that. Robin asked if she's seen Leah at all. Kirstie said she hasn't seen her in like 7 years. She said she didn't care if she was in or out. Howard asked if she will block her on Twitter. Kirstie said she has blocked her. She said she's a bigot. She said that she's going around saying that they're all bad and that's not a friend. She said that she won't have people in her life that are that.
Robin asked if she's in a religion that kicks people out. Kirstie said that we've all kicked people out of our lives. She said that it's about what someone is doing or what someone has done. She said the Catholics will excommunicate or the Amish will shun. She said that's what religions do.
Howard asked Kirstie about getting the job on Cheers to replace Shelly Long. Howard said Kirstie walked in and replaced her. Howard said when a network sees a downward swing they get rid of someone. Howard said she must have been shitting a brick. Kirstie said she wasn't. She said that her mother always said she had a guardian angel and that angel must have known how clumsy she was. She said she got the call to do Cheers from Jimmy Burrows after seeing her do Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She said that they wanted to see her but she hadn't done TV yet. She said she was doing a movie with Sidney Poitier. She said she was going to do one year of that show and then she'd show that she could do romantic comedy movies.
Kirstie said that she signed a one year contract for Cheers. She said that you never see that in TV. Kirstie said she thought she was going to be out after a year. She wanted to get into more movies. Howard said the ratings went up with Kirstie on the show. Howard said that negotiation must have been great. She said it was stellar. Kirstie said the whole business is funny. She said she can't take it seriously. She said it's like every day is Christmas. Kirstie said Howard gets to come in and do this show in a great studio. She said she didn't know how life could be better when she was on Cheers.
Howard asked if she knew it was a hit show on TV. She said she did and she was hoping it would become number 1. Howard said he wanted to go to the shittiest radio stations and just go up from the bottom. Kirstie said she wants a radio show. Howard said they can put her on the air tonight if she wants.
Howard said Kirstie joined the cast and she went from making what to making what. Kirstie said she never talks about money. She said she will say that it upped what she was making by 5 times. She said that she was making good money and they multiplied that by 5. Howard said that she must have had a hard time believing that was happening. She said it was dumb money. She said she had the agenda to do it for one year and she ended up sticking with it.
Howard asked Kirstie about her marriage to Parker Stevenson. She said that she will work on something for a long time but when she decides she's done, she's done. She said it's been very hard with Parker because they have kids. She said that they'd like to have dinners together but she can't do it. She said she wants to keep working on that though. Robin said she once thanked him for giving her the big O in an awards show. She said that's true.
Howard said George Takei does the show regularly and he intimated that she and William Shatner had some sort of liaison. Kirstie said that is 100 percent not. She said she didn't get along so well with Bill back then. She said they get along just fine now though. She said she had a crush on Merritt Butrick. She said that she and Bill didn't get along very well back then. Kirstie said that Bill is Star Trek. She said that he probably didn't think she was a good actress. She said he made her a little nervous about her acting.
Kirstie said that she would go out drinking until 4 in the morning during the movie shoot. She said she'd call a car to come and pick her up. Howard said she did the opposite of what he was doing in his early career. Kirstie said she wouldn't recommend that to anyone.
Kirstie said that she flubbed a line in the movie and she was in the elevator with Bill. She said that he kept asking her what her line was and it was making her nervous. She said she decided to stop drinking and learn her lines after that. She said someone did take her aside and tell her to study with someone. SHE said that she thinks that Bill suggested that. She said the acting coach asked her to cut out a picture of the person who represents her the best. She said she picked up a picture of a jaguar and said that's what she thinks her character is. Kirstie said the guy said ''Ah, very good.'' She said that got her out of her prison.
Howard asked if she was able to mourn her mother's death at all. Howard said this happened just before the movie. Howard asked if she ever sued the woman who was drunk driving when she killed her mother. Kirstie said that she didn't. She said that everyone in the room had driven drunk at some point and she wanted them all to shut the fuck up if they had. Kirstie said she thinks the woman was arrested but she never followed up. She said the worst penalty is having killed someone and having to live with that. Howard said he smoked some weed and drove but never drank and drove. Kirstie said she has done it. Kirstie said that some of her family members have too. She said it's not right. Howard said she seems very evolved.
Howard said Kirstie was in the movie Guess Who's Talking 2 and she thought that John Travolta was the greatest love. She said that she was married but she saw that John was very gamy. She said he's not afraid to act stupid and do dumb skits. She said he's very interested in what you have to say. She said that he will talk to you and you become the most interesting person. She said that he's very interested in people. Howard said that's great for a woman. Kirstie said that he's very handsome too. Howard asked if he would have acted on it with her. Kirstie said they both wanted to. She said they both definitely did. She said John asked her if she wanted to do something and she had the strength to say no. Kirstie said she doesn't regret that. She said it took her years to not look at him in a romantic way. She said she's friends with his wife now. She said she used to bust her for looking at him in a romantic way and she'd deny it.
Howard asked about the gay rumors about John. She said that she has been told that 3 of her friends are gay and she knows for a fact that they're not. She said she has had people tell her that they've slept with these people and she knows they're lying. Kirstie said that she thinks people do this to discount people or just do it for the money. She said there's something wrong with that.
Kirstie said that they used to clown around on the set and they'd flirt like crazy. She said that it's hard not to fall in love on the set of a movie or TV show. Kirstie said that she would fall in love every 3 years when she was doing movies and TV. Howard asked if she would ever get married again. Kirstie said she would. She said she loved marriage.
Howard asked Kirstie about not having sex for 4 years when she was obese. She said the fattest she's ever been was 230 pounds. She said she's 5'8'' tall. She said there are people on The Biggest Loser who get down to that weight and they look fine. Howard said with Kirstie it's because she's such a beauty. Howard said she has those looks and it's her duty to keep them. Kirstie said she agrees that it's expected.
Howard said Kirstie lectured him about what he said about Gabourey Sidibe. Howard said he got slammed when he said that there aren't that many roles for women of that size. Howard said he was just being honest. Howard said he thinks that Kirstie said something about that. Kirstie said she may have and she has a reason. She said that she got a lot of roles being overweight. Howard said he stands corrected then.
Kirstie said if you're hired when you're fat then they know what they're getting. Kirstie said she was kind of a bait and switch herself. She said she started out one way and then she got fucking fat and it changed. She said it was horrible for her. She said she didn't have good eating habits her whole life. She said she turned 53 and all of a sudden everything went haywire. She said she wasn't expecting that. Kirstie said she had her own issues with that. She said then it went public and she was in the tabloids all the time.
Howard asked if she would go home and cry or just say fuck them. Kirstie said she knew she was overweight. She said that Photoshop goes both ways. She said they made her look even worse. She said she would go to an event one night and she wondered what she looked like. She wondered if she was the fat fuck or the other pictures. She said that she was just screwed.
Howard asked if she's against this plastic surgery thing. Kirstie said she doesn't have any. She said it's a tough call though. She said that you wonder if it'll make you look odd or not. She said she has a friend who looks amazing after surgery but there are so many others that look odd. She said she won't even do Botox. Howard said he thinks you look ridiculous. Kirstie said she's afraid that injecting botulism into your face will have future repercussions. Howard said no one knows what it really does to you.
Howard asked if Kirstie is debating on whether or not to do something with her face. She said that when she did Star Trek they told her that she had baggy eyes. Howard said he has a friend who went through that and got the bags removed. Howard said kids have baggy eyes. He said it's just not right.
Kirstie said the worst part of being heavy was not being able to move. Howard said that when you get heavy you can't go up stairs. He said you have to move fast. Kirstie said she didn't lose as much weight doing Dancing with the Stars as people say she did. She said she had lost about 25 before the show and then anther 15 while she was on the show.
Howard said he can't stand that Kirstie liked that Max guy on Dancing with the Stars. Kirstie said that they hit it off on that show. She said it was on a friendship level though. She said she didn't think about him romantically.
Howard asked if Kirstie flies with John Travolta on his plane. She said she does. She said that he has been the pilot. Kirstie said that he likes flying was back in the 60s and he loves those uniforms. She said that she thinks he wet his pants because he was so excited one time. Howard asked if he makes the announcements on the plane like the pilot. She said that what he does is act very professional. She said that he's the real pilot and he really knows what he's doing. Howard asked if she really trusts him. Kirstie said that he took her on a plane to the Virgin Islands when they were doing Look Who's Talking. She said that she asked him to land and that gave her some power. She said that she started flying only in private planes. She said she asked them to just land if she felt she had to land. Kirstie said she has some control and having any control gave her that power. She said she's not afraid to fly now.
Howard asked if they ever fly with other famous people. She said she has. She said she flew with everyone when they went to his birthday party. She said Sean Penn and other people were on the flight. Howard asked if Jack Nicholson was on the plane. She said he wasn't but she loves Jack. She said that she would still love to do Jack. She said that he was in her limo once when she got into it. He said that he was in there and asked if she was married. She said she told him she was married and she said okay and got out of the limo.
Howard asked if Kirstie uses a vibrator. She said she's not that kind of girl. She said she feels like it's cheating in some way. She said she's had a boyfriend from the age of 15 and it's hard work to have a relationship. She said when she got single she was in nirvana. She said now she's missing it sort of. Kirstie said she hasn't had a real boyfriend in 13 years now. She said she needs to be able to do her thing. Howard said that's what guys don't understand. Howard said that they have to give them room.
Howard gave Kirstie plugs for her new TV show after saying he didn't realize how late it was. Howard took a call from Ralph who had seen Kirstie's new TV show. Ralph said he really likes the show. He said there are so many shitty shows out there and this show is great. He said the Karaoke episode was great.
Howard said the new show is great. He said Rhea Perlman is great in it and so is the guy who plays her son. Howard said that it's very well done and well acted. Howard said he watched it and he's glad he was able to tell her it's good. Ralph said that he wasn't sure it was going to be good but it turns out it was.
Howard and Ralph were goofing around about being gay together and he said that if he really was gay he would do it with Ralph. Kirstie said that she would do it with Angelina Jolie if she was gay. Howard said he can't even think about Beth doing another woman. He said that he's too jealous to let that happen.
Ralph asked Kirstie what kind of crazy stuff she did when she was coked up. She said when she's with one man that's enough for her. She's very monogamous.
Howard said Kirstie Alley premiers tonight on TVLand. Howard said he's not sure where that is. Kirstie said it's a great channel but you have to look around a bit for it but they give you lots of freedom. Howard said that's where it's at these days. He said you do it on cable instead of the networks. Howard said he does recommend that you check out her show. The show is called ''Kirstie.'' Howard asked if they had any alternate names for the show. She said one of them was ''Giant Baby.'' She said that they wanted to call it Kirstie. She said that her name isn't Kirstie in the show but they tricked her by saying that Cosby was the name of Bill Cosby's show and his name was Huxtable on the show.
Howard asked if she fell in love with Patrick Swayze when she did that movie with him. SHE said she did fall for him. She said she loves his wife and she would never want to hurt her. Howard asked why she didn't just fuck him. She said that she believes in being faithful in a marriage. She said she did kiss him but that was it.
Howard asked Kirstie if she does colonics. She said she is mixed on that. She said she does other things for Scientology. Howard asked her what her stance is on rice. She said she loves rice. Howard told her not to bring that up there. Robin laughed.
Kirstie told Howard about the toxins that we have in our lives and how Tom Cruise created a program for the first responders from 9/11 that has saved so many of them. Howard asked if she hangs with Tom. She said she just saw him and she loves Tom.
Gary came in and said that they had a news story about Tom being with Laura Prepon. Kirstie said she loves Laura. Howard gave Kirstie some more plugs and said he really did love her show. Howard said that the kid who plays her son is great but he doesn't know his name. Kirstie said that his name is Eric Peterson. Kirstie said she'd love to come back. Howard said she can come back any time. They went to break after that.
- One Boring Sex Story. 12/04/13. 9:45am
After the break Howard came right back and said that they really yenta'd it up with Kirstie. Robin said that was a fun interview.
Howard said they were just talking about Xbox One and it's so smart that it'll give you a technical foul if you curse. Howard played a clip of a guy yelling at his Xbox for giving him that foul.
Howard said they played some audio of a kid playing Call of Duty yesterday and some British guy was yelling at a guy. Howard said today he has a clip of an 8 year old playing Grand Theft Auto and cursing like crazy. Howard said this is where the games are getting crazy. He said it's bringing adults in with kids and it's nuts. Howard said this adult is trying to reason with an 8 year old. The kid was begging someone to help and come in his plane. Howard said this kid is annoying. Howard said he doesn't think he should be playing with kids. The kid was cursing the guy out and saying his mom has donkey balls in her mouth and things like that. Howard said that kid was burying the guy. Howard said he has a headache hearing that clip.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she took her boyfriend and gave him a surprise last night. She said she had a girlfriend waiting for him at home. She said that her boyfriend walked in and saw her sitting there and he had no idea what to do. She said she had toys sitting there on the table. Howard said he's beating off to this story. The caller, Beth, said she had a magic wand, a glass dildo and a butt plug... Howard cut her off and said he was finished so she can call back in next week with the rest of the story.
Beth told Howard that she was going to have the girl act like a slave there. Howard said he'd call the cops if someone asked him to do that. Howard asked if she's hot. Beth said she is. She said that she asked her friend if she wanted to give her boyfriend a surprise. She was willing to help. She said she didn't have sex with him at all. Howard asked her to cut to the chase. Howard said he's running out of time. She said that the friend didn't get naked. Howard said he's put it back in his pants after hearing this. He said she's really bad at telling a sexy story. Beth said she was sucking his dick while the other girl was kissing his ass. She asked if that was hot. Howard said he's so sorry he picked up the phone. He said goodbye to her after that. Howard said he lost patience. He said he's running out of time today and he had to get out of that story.
Howard played a clip of a woman vomiting while giving oral to some guy. Howard sounded shocked by that. He said that was the fun clip of the day.
- Robin's News. 12/04/13. 9:50am
Howard had Fred play Robin into the news with a song parody. It was one of Sal's song parodies called ''Release Robin's Bra.'' Howard said he has a bunch of other song parodies about Robin. He played one that he had played earlier in the show from Eli Braden.
Robin started off with a story about popular dog names. Rover, Max and Bella are the most popular according to Rover.com. Robin said Charlie is the second most popular boy dog name. Robin mentioned a few other names that are popular right now too.
Robin read a story about a woman who was offering topless hair cuts but now she's been arrested. Robin said it turns out she was doing more than hair cuts. She was having sex for money as well. Robin said that she was arrested.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he read a story the other day about a game show where a gay guy has 40 minutes to blow a straight guy. Howard said he's seen it. Howard said it's a great show. He said they put the straight guy in a box and the tell the straight guy that he's going to have a gay guy come in and blow him. Howard said they put the guy in a box so you see his face and waist. Howard said that the straight guy says he's getting hard and he wins money if he doesn't cum. The caller said the greatest part is when this fat guy walks in and he's the gay guy. Howard said the guy thins he won't cum but then he's done. Howard said it's such a great game show. Howard said he's sure he could win this game show. Howard said he knows he wouldn't cum when some guy like that blows him. Howard said he should play with Fred. Fred said no way. Howard said when George Takei comes in they'll do that.
The caller said he got cut off last week when he brought up the movie ''Contracted.'' He said that his point was that he's in a film critic group and they get to see these things. He said that they sent that movie out for awards consideration. Howard said maybe they can talk about this on another channel. Howard let the guy go after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that he's such a douche. She said that he always gives away tickets to guys and not women. Howard said he'll give her a pair then. She started crying. Howard said that he'll give her the tickets and said it's going to be a great show. Howard said he was about to hang up on her and give them to the next woman on the phone. Howard asked what she looks like. She said she has blond hair and she has been listening for over 20 years. Howard said that didn't answer his question. She said she's kind of Jodi Foster-ish but she really can't say. Howard said you can win tickets through his web site too.
Robin read about something called a Super Ticket that will allow people to see a movie before its release date. Robin had some audio of Will Ferrell doing his Ron Burgundy character announcing the super ticket. Howard said he saw Will doing a news report as a real anchorman. He said it was really funny. Robin said he must own part of the movie because he's working really hard at this. Howard said he should be working it.
Robin read about Rolling Stone's top 50 list of songs and had the top 5 for Howard to play. Robin said number 1 was Vampire Weekend. She had Howard play a clip of that and then Kanye West, Daft Punk, Paul McCartney and Arcade Fire.
Howard said Billboard had a list of the top 30 Jewish artists. Howard said that Pink is on the list. Benjy said that she's in some odd branch of Judaism. Howard said you're either Jewish or not. Benjy said she's not traditionally Jewish. Gary said that her mother is Jewish according to Wikipedia. Howard said she's Jewish then. Howard read that Paula Abdul is Jewish. Benjy said both parents are Jewish. Howard said Helen Reddy is Jewish. Billy Joel is number one. David Lee Roth is on the list. He said that Mark Knopfler, Lenny Kravitz, Susanna Hoffs, Barbara Streisand, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Adam Levine, Michael Bolton, Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and others were on the list.
Robin read a story about Jay Z and Beyonce going vegan. Robin had some audio of one of Jay Z's songs. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jason Kidd stopping a game by pouring water on the court. Gary said that cost him 50 grand in fines. Gary said they caught him by reading his lips where he told another player to knock it out of his hand.
Robin read a story about a video on YouTube that's getting a lot of views after a week. Robin had some audio from the video where they encourage kids to join clubs at the school.
Robin read that the tests of the conductor of the train in the train derailment there have come back negative. Robin said his union is saying he just fell asleep. Someone else is saying that he was in a trance. Gary said if he dozed off then it's an accident. If he was speeding then it's his fault. He thinks they may be trying to keep him out of jail.
Robin had a clip of President Obama talking about the affordable care act and how it's there to stay. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about President Obama's uncle from Kenya being allowed to stay in the United States. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin said that his uncle was approved for residency. He was told to leave in the 90s but he stayed. Robin said he's just been staying here.
Robin said the mega millions jackpot continues to grow. Robin said that the next drawing will be worth at least $291 million.
Robin said the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lights will be turned on tonight. Howard said that's his worst nightmare. He said he has to be somewhere at 3:30 and he won't be able to get there. Robin said he's right because today is a gridlock alert day. Howard said it's the worst day. He said he can't tell her how awful that is.
Robin asked if it's wrong to release the 9-1-1 calls from the Sandy Hook shooting. Howard said it is wrong. Howard said 9-1-1 should be sacred. He said you should be able to call and not worry about being ridiculed. Robin said it's a freedom of information issue and they will be released this afternoon. Howard said now the families have to suffer again. He said it's wrong to play them.
Robin said that the United States is at the top of the list of countries that give the most around the world. Robin said we're up from number 5 to number 1.
Robin read a story about Britney Spears being on Ellen Degeneres' show talking about her boyfriend and how he forgot to call her back for a really long time. Howard said Britney has that vocal fry thing going on now. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about Britney and how she's arrived in Las Vegas. She had some audio of some guy introducing her at Planet Hollywood.
Robin read a story about Dennis Rodman going back to North Korea. Robin said that some other players will join him to play basketball over there. Robin said Rodman will be going in mid-December. Rodman is going to train the North Korean team before the exhibition game. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:25am.