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  • Is The End Near? (Updated June 13, 2016)
    Please read this to find out what could happen to

-- Wednesday, April 26, 2017 --

  • Vacation Replay Show - Day 3. 04/26/17. 7:00am
    Howard is on vacation this week so they're replaying segments from the past couple years. Here's what they played today:

  • Ronnie & Brent Update - October 24, 2016. 04/26/17. 7:00am
    First up this morning they played a segment where Howard got an update about Ronnie and Brent's fight. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Robin Doing Too Much? 10/24/16. 7:00am
    Howard said he stayed up to watch that Anthony Weiner documentary. He said it was very disturbing. Robin asked if it was about Jeffrey Weiner. Howard had no idea what she was talking about. Robin said she was sick all weekend fighting off a cold. Howard said she does too much. He said she runs around like a lunatic and gets these colds. Howard said she should have been raised by his parents. He said she'd stop running around like that. Howard did his impression of his mother asking Robin what she did wrong. Robin said she doesn't know. She said she felt strange on Thursday and she shut it down. Howard said she must have a schedule. Howard asked what she does. Robin said she likes to go places. Howard, as his mother, told her not to do that kind of thing. He asked her what she's doing. He asked what time her bed time is. Robin said it's 9 o'clock. Howard went off on her about being all charged up and how she has to stop going out on those boats and things like that.

    Howard said that's how his mother gets her in line. Robin said she's not going to argue with that. Howard did more of his impression of his mom and added his dad into it too. He had his mom telling Robin that people today are busy with nonsense. He said she's taking courses on humanity and she has to stop. He said all of this is that. Robin asked what that means. Howard's mom said this is why she's sick. He said everyone is in turmoil. Howard said her body is out of balance. He said she has to think about what she's doing. Robin said she didn't go to class. Howard said good. Robin said she does exactly what she says so she's not sure why she's yelling at her. Howard said she was very ill and they were all worried about her. He had his mom breaking down and crying over Robin. Howard said people don't understand deep rest.

    Howard, as his mom, said it was her birthday on Saturday. Howard had his dad asking her to tell Robin what they did. His mom told Robin they went to Nathan's on Friday. Howard asked where they go, Oceanside? His mom said that's too far. She said Ben had a Coke there and he never drinks it except when they go there. Howard's mom said that they have a Mexican food type thing downstairs at Nathan's. They go before the crowds go, around 10 o'clock. Howard's mom said she had two orders of French fries and ''glockamole'' and a coffee. Howard said he doesn't have the heart to tell her it's guacamole.

    Howard said he was telling Robin before his mother called in that he watched the Anthony Weiner documentary. Howard said on the phone he has Jeffrey Weiner who Robin said she was interested in. Howard spent a minute with that guy goofing on Robin.

    Howard said he forgot about what went on with Anthony Weiner. Howard said they thought he could be a good mayor but they were shooting this documentary on him when this thing happened with him. Howard said you see the women he's sexting with and all of that and he has this gorgeous wife. Howard said she has a job with Hillary Clinton and she's classy. Howard said he keeps fucking up his life. Howard said it's so frustrating to see a guy fuck up his life like that. Howard said he's fucking up his whole life. Howard said you can't believe it. He said she has to see it.

    Howard said he tells his kids he was raised in a fucked up way. He said if he's fucked up as a father then go call their grandmother. Robin said that's not right to say. Howard said he never says that. He said he's not like that. Robin said she watched the making of Hamilton. Howard said he hasn't seen the play. He said he should see it. Robin said the guy who created it, Linn Manuel Miranda, wasn't sure if he was making an album or what. Robin said a guy he went to school with started taping it and they have it right up through the debut. Howard said he won't watch it based on what she just told him. Robin said they have a lot of interesting things in it. Howard said he fell asleep hearing Robin talking about it.

    Howard said he's trying to learn stuff and he read an interview that Rolling Stone did with Bruce Springsteen. He said he's really profound. Howard said he's learning a lot about the guy. He said he's talking about how his life was influenced by a book called ''The People's History of the United States.'' Howard said he got the book and he's reading it now. Howard said he never got a good education so he's giving it to himself. Howard said the book is really good but it's depressing. Howard said it's the history of the world and our country. He said you hear the other side of the Christopher Columbus story. He said you hear about the Native American side. Howard talked about what he learned from the book. He said you read this shit and you figure that's probably how it went down. Howard said that's in the first couple of pages of the book and he was ready to hang himself. Robin said he should watch the series ''The Viking.'' Howard said no thanks to that. Robin said people didn't just go and see what was over there. They beat and raped and took their stuff.

    Howard said he's lacking in his sense of history. He said even with Hamilton he doesn't know that much about. Robin said she's thinking about reading the book that inspired Linn to write the play. Howard snored again. He said if they make a movie or play about it you don't have to read the book. Robin said she's reading a book called ''The Other Side of Language.'' She said it's a philosophy book.

    Howard Takes Some Calls. 10/24/16. 7:25am
    Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's afraid of Hillary taking away his guns. Howard said most people don't have a private security detail or police living with them. He said he was reading some news about people who were attacked in their homes and held criminals at bay with their guns. Howard said everyone said Obama was going to take away their guns. Robin said the President can't just do that. Howard said Obama didn't take away anyone's guns. He said they sold more guns than any other time. Howard said Hillary said she's not for taking away guns. He said she said they need common sense with the terrorist watch list. Howard said if you're on the list you shouldn't be able to buy a gun. He said it makes sense to him but there are some problems with the second amendment with that. Howard said it's not taking away your right. He said he can go along with anyone on the terrorist list. Howard said people talk about keeping people out of the country but why not be for keeping guns from these people.

    The caller said his dad is afraid Hillary is going to take away his guns. Howard said he doesn't think that's going to happen. He said when it comes to abortion he's on Hillary's side too. He said it's a very important issue. He said women have to have the right to decide what they do with their bodies. Howard said we have a country filled with unwanted children. Howard said it's a big fucking mistake. Howard said we're not going back to the coat hanger days. He said it's a big fucking problem.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks most of his listeners are going to vote for Trump. Howard asked how he would know that. Howard said he doesn't know that they're going to vote that way. The caller said he thinks that the majority of white men out there are going to vote for Trump. He said he thinks Howard has changed a lot and he used to be more Libertarian. Howard said he still is. Howard said there's a naive concept that they love Libertarians because they're for no government. Howard said they need government services and as soon as you start talking about taking away any then people start yelling about it. Howard said these people are for giving great benefits to the Vets and all of that comes from the government. Howard said they do waste a lot but you still want government and taxes. The caller said of course. Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. Howard let the guy go after that.

    Howard said people argue with him in the email about this stuff. He said he changed his mind and if he does that don't freak out.

    Howard said he has a story about this kid who woke up from a coma speaking Spanish. Robin said that happens. Robin said no one can explain it. Howard said this kid lives in Georgia and he had a bad concussion after being kicked in the head. Howard said he wakes up speaking a language that he never spoke before. Howard said the kid is 16 and he wasn't able to speak English when he woke up. Then his English started returning and the Spanish started fading. Robin said this shows the brain is much more complicated than we know. Robin said here is a ton of stuff in your brain that you have no access to. Howard said we need to unlock that. Robin said there are people studying that now with the language thing. Robin said your brain captures everything but spitting it back out is another story. Howard asked if Beetlejuice captures everything. Robin said his brain isn't completely formed. Robin said he might know more than he can let go of. Robin said there are studies going on about that.

    Fred played Ronnie's ''Duu'' clip. Howard asked if he knows a lot of stuff too. Robin said he must have a lot in there that can't get out.

    Ronnie And Brent Update. 10/24/16. 7:30am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said the Brent segment last week was great. He asked if anything happened with Ronnie last week. Howard said that was on Wednesday's show. Howard said he did turn to Ronnie and asked if he really doesn't like Brent or is that just for the air. He said Ronnie didn't answer right away. He said something about not really liking Brent. Howard said he tweeted out a picture of Brent with a rat face later that day. He said Ronnie doesn't get that he's not the police and he's not being ratted out. Howard said it's not that it's them against him. Howard said it's weird. Howard said he thought he was Tony Soprano and not the police. Howard said Ronnie doesn't see him that way. He said it kind of fucked his head up.

    Howard said he thought Ronnie was Luca Brazi to his Marlon Brando. Howard said maybe Sirius is the police but Ronnie sees him as the police. Howard said that bummed him out.

    The caller said he didn't seem to get the Stars of Satellite Radio thing either. Howard read some email about Ronnie and how so unevolved he seems. Howard read one about how he looks stupid talking like he did about Brent. Howard said he got some email about Brent too. Howard said one guy agreed that Brent is a rat for telling the boss about what goes on back there. Howard said someone said he should let them do their own shows outside of this show. Howard said he doesn't have a problem with that. Howard said some places don't let you do anything outside of the show. He said he lets the guys do their thing but just don't put his name on it.

    Howard asked if Brent or Ronnie want to come in to talk about this. Gary said Ronnie is downstairs. Brent came in and said Ronnie acts like a mob boss. He said he's posting stuff on Twitter and he just doesn't get that Howard isn't a cop. He said Howard is their bro. He said he's a fellow broadcaster. Howard said they're on the same team. Brent said if Howard succeeds then they all succeed. Howard said they're the Sopranos. Robin said she'd like to know who is in the gang. Brent said Robin is on their team too. Howard said maybe Ronnie should go sit in his car. Brent said he's the driver of the star of satellite radio. He said he's part of the team. Howard said he just wants to work and then go home.

    Howard said someone wrote about Brent being in the 4th Battalion in the Marines. He said the guy said that's what the women are in. Brent said that's true but he was in the second. He wasn't in the fourth.

    Brent said he's going to tell Howard any time someone is going to try to fuck him over. He said he has a loyal bro for life based on what he's done for him. Brent said he doesn't understand the Ronnie thing. He said everyone else wants to do their job.

    Howard said they have a bunch of pictures of Brent from his Marine days on Howard said he was a skinny guy then. Brent said you burn it all off working all day. Brent told Howard about how fast they had to eat back then too. He said you have a lot of stuff instilled in you when you're in the Marines. He said he'll always be to work on time. Brent said he didn't have the discipline to go to school but the Marines instill that in you.

    Howard said Brent feels comfortable around Ronnie, right? Brent said it's all good. Howard asked if they were ever friends. Brent said he likes Ronnie. He said he has no problem with him. Howard said Ronnie said to him that he doesn't really like Brent that much. Brent said he's there to do a job and not to be Ronnie's friend. Howard said he's not in a war with him. Howard said Ronnie is at war with him. Howard said Ronnie is still in the jungle at war with Brent. Howard said maybe he should explain the show to Ronnie.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said in the classic sense Ronnie is crazy but what Brent is doing is ratting. Howard asked why he's the police in this scenario. The caller said Howard is the boss. Brent said you're a rat if you call the cops. It's not like that there. The caller said if Brent tells him something then it's ratting. Howard said he doesn't care. He hung up on the caller. Brent said this is radio, not organized crime.

    Howard asked who would win in a boxing match. Brent said he wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. He said weight is everything in boxing and it would be a bloodbath. Howard let him go and went to break a short time later.


  • Steve From Florida's Letter - June 28, 2016. 04/26/17. 7:50am
    Next up on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about a letter Bobo (Steve from Florida) sent to them. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Cursing On TV Clips. 06/28/16. 8:00am
    After the break Howard came right back and said everything is so funny to him. He said LeBron James was in the parade for the Cavaliers and he was on TV cursing. Howard said he doesn't know better. He said he should know better. Howard played some audio of LeBron cursing on the air. He kept saying ''shit'' and said ''mother fucker'' too. Robin said he is no word smith. Howard said all of the TV people have to clean up after him. Howard played some clips of the news reporters apologizing for the language.

    Howard said the other big freak out was Bill Simmons who came on the show with Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said Bill got his own show on HBO and Ben Affleck was on cursing a lot. Howard said it's HBO so you're allowed to curse and he got a lot of criticism for that. Howard said he fucked the Nanny so what do you expect? Howard said people expect him to act like the President. He said they must think good looking people shouldn't curse. Howard said you see Ben and Jennifer Garner holding hands and walking on the beach. Howard said he fucked the nanny. Howard asked how many holding hands sessions you have to take before she forgets about that.

    Howard played a clip from the Bill Simmons show where Ben kept cursing. Howard said it was on HBO so what do you expect. Howard said he likes when people are themselves and not prepared by a PR person. Howard said that's how he'd expect Ben to talk. Howard said get him in there to talk about pussy. He said this guy is a good guest. Howard played another clip of Ben cursing while talking about the NFL and Tom Brady.

    Howard said it's funny when you ask a celebrity about their life they don't talk about then they open up about football. Howard said maybe they should talk to people about sports to get them to open up. Howard played another clip of Ben cursing and Bill said next time he comes on they should bring Tom Brady on the show.

    Howard said that's an edgy mother fucker. He said he's watching football and playing cards and fucking the nanny. Howard said then he goes to Hawaii and holds hands with his wife. Howard said that has to be a weird move. He said he's doing it for the kids. Howard said Ben is so good looking that he can fuck the nanny and still hold hands with his wife. Howard said he could never pull that off.

    Howard said that Ben Affleck is the one he wants playing Batman. Robin said that guy won't come on this show just like Charlie Sheen. Howard said that he won't but Lenny Dykstra will. Howard said he'll be in at 9 today. Howard said Ben is another good guy they'd like to have on the show. He said that he'd ask him about holding his wife's hand for the first time after the Nanny thing. Howard said Lenny was bolder than any of them. He said he bets he fucked Ben's nanny. He said you never know. Howard said Arnold fucked the nanny. Robin said he fucked the housekeeper. Howard said that's right, he went old school. Howard said that's some hard core stuff. He said he'd be too afraid of getting caught and Robin would goof on him.

    Howard said Jennifer has to be thinking about the hand that Ben has on her and if that's the one he used to finger the nanny. Howard said the world has changed a lot. Robin said everyone is trying to have these conscious uncouplings.

    Howard Takes Some Calls. 06/28/16. 8:15am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin needs to take that voice on the road as a singer. Howard said she does have a different style. The caller said he's never heard that style before. Fred played Robin singing ''Cocaine.'' Fred played her singing some other things like Adele's ''Hello.''

    The caller said he is a sheriffs deputy and he arrested a kid yesterday. He said the kid was about 16 and he put the spotter on him and his eyes were shot out. He said he gets him up against the car and cuffs him. He said the kid says Baba Booey a few times and he let the kid off the hook. He said he had him call home to have someone pick him up. Howard said that's very nice. He let the caller go after that. Howard said maybe that will set the kid straight.

    Howard took a call from Bobo who let out a ''Whoop, whoop.'' Bobo asked Howard about back in the day when he worked at WNBC and where the fuck HR was back then. Howard said they were in on it too. Howard said they wanted him to quit. He said there was no Human Resources back then.

    Benjy sighed and Howard said he forgot to shut off his microphone. Howard asked what he's eating over there. Fred told Howard about how it was gone already. they goofed on Benjy for a minute.

    Shuli came in and said that Bobo was adamant about sucking Howard's dick. He said he had a conversation with him about that and he would blow him if he had a gun to his head. Bobo said he would take a bullet for Howard.

    Howard said he has a voicemail that Bobo left. As soon as he played it Bobo said ''reiterate'' and it sounded like ''reinerate.'' In the voicemail Bobo talked about how he would blow Howard if he had to but it would be against his will. Howard asked if he thinks he can deep throat all six inches of him. Bobo said he's not sure about that. Howard played a song parody about Bobo after that.

    Howard asked if he'd swallow his cum. Bobo said there's a line in the sand he can't cross. Howard asked if he was forced to do it could he do it. Bobo said he would do whatever he had to do to keep Howard alive.

    Shuli said Howard has to read this open letter Bobo wrote about coming to the hospital years ago when his kid was born. He said he wrote it as an apology to Howard. Howard said he didn't get it. Bobo read the letter over the phone. Bobo said he just wanted to meet the guy on the radio and he knew it was wrong. He really admired him and he has regretted it ever since. Bobo said his intentions were completely harmless. Shuli said this is someone's dad. Bobo kept going and said he hopes they can put it to rest. Howard asked how long it took to write that. Bobo said it was about 4 and a half minutes. Howard said he has to blow him before he'll forgive him. They played another song parody about him.

    Howard said he always forgets that Bobo showed up at the hospital. He said he walked in with his parents. He said that he's such an idiot. Bobo said he doesn't know what he was thinking. Howard said he sort of likes Bobo until someone reminds him of that. He said he should go to Hawaii and hold hands with him. Bobo asked if he can talk to Gary and find out if he's satisfied with that. Howard said he's such a douche bag. Howard played another song parody about Bobo and his awful phone calls to the show.

    Shuli said he's yet to hear one bad Bobo song parody. Howard said there's an avalanche of songs about him. He said Robin can't even get a new one.

    Howard asked if he even knew who Bobo was at the time. He said he was excited about Ashley being born and he came out of the delivery room and his parents were on their way up. Howard said he was nervous about the whole thing and there were a ton of doctors there. He said he was overwhelmed. Bobo said Dominic was there too. Howard said he wasn't looking for him to show up either.

    Howard said he walked out and you don't know who that is. He said he said hi to the guy not knowing it was Bobo. Howard said you don't know who it is. He said he's not sure he even announced himself right away. Bobo said he just congratulated him and said he was a big fan. Howard said that's when he panicked. He said you don't know who this guy is or why he's there. Benjy asked if he got to see the baby. Howard said he blew his stack when he found out people just walked in. Gary said that was his rap on the Wrap Up Show about his excuses about why he did it.

    Bobo said he realized it when his son was born and he realized what he did. Shuli asked how he found out what hospital he was at. Bobo said he just figured it out. Howard said there were only like 2 hospitals he could have been in.

    Howard played another Bobo song parody. He said he has to separate them to figure out what to goof on him about. He said some are about him being an idiot and some are about him not being a superfan. Howard played another one and said that was by Clee Torres.

    Bobo said showing up to the hospital was the stupidest thing he ever did. Howard let him go after that. Bobo said he loves him. Howard laughed and said he loves him too. He played him off with another song parody about how dumb he is. They went to break after that.


  • Sting - November 9, 2016. 04/26/17. 8:25am
    Next up on today's replay show they played a Sting interview. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Sting Performs Live. 11/09/16. 8:55am
    After the break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard talked to an author with fake Hillary Clinton clips. They played a song parody that Richard Christy sang about himself and John Fogerty performing ''Fortunate Son'' in the Howard Stern Show studio. They also played a ''Zika Man'' parody featuring Beetlejuice and an original Beetlejuice song. They played Charli XCX's ''Boom Clap'' and a Baba Booey song parody ''Desperado'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said he has Sting in studio. Howard said it's great to have him there. Howard said he's sick of the election. Howard said he heard he went to a party last night. Sting said he didn't end up going because he heard it was like a morgue. He said they had a similar thing happen in June in England and they're having a crisis there now. He said they're trying to figure out how to fix it.

    Howard said he's going to get off politics because Sting is there to save them. Howard said he's won 16 Grammy Awards. Howard asked if that means anything to him. Sting said it's pretty meaningless but he does enjoy getting them. Sting said they're in the bathroom. He said everyone goes ''How modest'' when they see them in there. Howard said he has them and he does display them but not in an important place.

    Howard said Sting has sold close to 100 million albums. Howard asked if that blows his mind. He asked if it's unimaginable. Sting said totally. He asked if he ever thought it was going to be a reality. Sting said that the Beatles gave him some hope. He said some people made it. Howard asked if his parents thought it was a stupid idea. Sting said he didn't really ask his parents. He said his dad never spoke to him. Howard said when he reads about his childhood it looks like it was pretty bleak. Sting said he was raised next to a shipyard. He said he didn't know how he was going to fit in. He said he fell in love with the guitar. Howard asked if he was artistic. Sting said he was. Howard asked if they wanted him to get a job and not think about being a musician. Sting said that's pretty much the way it was.

    Howard asked if his dad was mean. Sting said it wasn't mean. He said he was part of a generation that was told not to express emotions. He said his dad would take him out to work with him and he never really had conversations with him. He said they delivered milk every day of the year. Howard asked if his dad was distant from the whole family. He said he was but he wasn't unkind.

    Howard asked about his parents separation. Sting said they were all happy about that. He said it wasn't a happy family. Howard said his mother took off with some guy and he was kind of a skunk. Sting said Howard read his book. Howard said he saw his mother having an affair and he had to keep that secret. Sting said he was the oldest so he had to keep it from the rest of his siblings. He said he's grateful for that now because it made him who he is now.

    Howard said people who go through that always say that. Sting said now look at him. He said he's on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said Sting's mother was a pianist and she inspired him. Sting said he remembers watching his mother play and watching her feet on the pedals.

    Howard asked if Sting is really self taught. Howard said he would slow down the records to hear the bass. Sting said he actually turned up the speed. He said you can hear the bass much clearer when it's faster. Howard asked why the bass? Sting said it's more of a quieter heroism. He said he's controlling the harmony on the bass.

    Howard asked who the best bass player was. Sting said it was Jocko Pistorius. Howard asked if Sting was more of a jazz player before The Police. Sting said he played in a big band, jazz, theater and he backed comedians and strippers too. Howard said then he hooked up with Copeland. Sting said he was in a big band and he saw him performing with a jazz band.

    Howard said Stewart Copeland and Sting hooked up to create a band. Howard said they thought a 3 piece band was the way to go. Howard said they had to get into rock though. Sting said he saw Jimi Hendrix when he was 14-15 and before he had a hit in England. He said he played a club in New Castle and he went to see him. He said it was like seeing a Martian. He said he was black and there weren't many black people in New Castle. He also played with his left hand. Howard asked if he had to figure out how to do that. Sting said that you can be a rock star and a virtuoso at the same time and that's what Jimi was. Howard asked if he had to create a rock band because of that. Sting said he was interested in the whole spectrum of what music is. He said he was never going to be a jazz player. He just played with jazz guys.

    Howard asked about the first band he created. They had a guy in the band who had the look according to Sting but he only had the look. Howard asked if he's ever been in touch with him. Sting said he's going to see him this weekend. He said he can play now. Sting said they are reopening the Bataclan, the club that was closed in Paris last year after the attacks.

    Howard asked Sting about becoming a teacher and if that was so he could play music. Sting said he did that so he could write songs while the children were doing their math. Howard said he could have fallen into that life and been a teacher. Sting said he could still fall back into that if the music doesn't work out. He said he was teaching 12 year olds at the time. Howard said he taught them everything. Sting said he was a soccer coach too. Howard asked if the students were freaked out when they found out he was a star. Sting said that they brought him into a class and all of the kids from his class were there. He said he recognized every one of them even though they were all in their 40s.

    Howard said Sting's education sounds like a nightmare. Howard said he went to a catholic school. Sting said they were caned by the priests there. He said he had 42 canings. He said the first one hurts and the second one feels like being cut by a bread knife. Howard asked what they're trying to beat out of him. Sting said nothing. He said he was a good kid and in one year he had 42 whacks. He said there were thousands of boys in that school and that's the only way they could keep them under control.

    Howard asked if he ever hit a teacher back. Sting said no way. He said that's too scary. Howard asked if he ever had to discipline his students. Sting said no. He said it was humiliating when he had it done to him. Howard said you'd think that would be the last job he'd want after that.

    Howard said he's had an amazing career. He asked how he can learn if he wants to learn to play. Howard asked if he should just listen to records. He asked if he's just a genius and he can teach himself. Sting said he learned to read music. He said he had to read bass parts in a big band. Howard asked if he has a high IQ. Sting said he doesn't know about that. Howard asked if his guys have to know how to read music. Sting said not at all. He said they just have to learn the songs.

    Howard asked Sting about forming the band The Police and if that was his first attempt at writing his own songs. Sting said he had been writing them since he was a kid. He said they may not have been that good but he was writing stuff at the age of 10. Howard asked if he remembers what he wrote. Sting said it all ends up in his songs and he may have used some of that stuff he wrote back then in his current songs.

    Howard said his name Sting came from being dressed in black and yellow in a performance once. Sting said he was about 18 at the time. Howard said being Gordon the bass player isn't that great. Howard asked how the name Sting stuck. Sting said they kept calling him that and then they called his mother and asked for Sting and she called him that. Howard asked if his real name is Sting now. Sting said it's still Gordon Sumner. He said Sting is a silly name but it's much better than anything else.

    Howard said no record company wanted the band The Police. Howard said it was very different. Howard said he can't even describe the sound. He said it was very unique. Sting said they were coming up with that around the time punk was big. He said they thought they were punk but they really weren't. Howard said they were better than punk bands. Sting said they called it New Wave.

    Howard said the history of Roxanne and he wrote it about a prostitute and what it would be like to have a relationship with one. Sting said he wrote the song in Paris and they had these ladies of the night in the town. He said he'd never been exposed to that. He said he conjured one up in his room and wondered what it would be like to be married or the boyfriend of one of these women. Howard said there is no actual Roxanne. Sting said no, he just conjured her up.

    Howard asked Sting about the song being released in England. Sting said they had a single deal and they didn't get an advance. He said then a radio station in Austin called WLBJ started to play this thing and it became viral. He said they went to America and they had two things on the radio. He said it was Sultans of Swing and Roxanne by The Police. He said Mark Knopfler is from his town too so that was great.

    Howard played some of ''Roxanne'' and Sting fell over the piano and he played a chord with his ass and you hear him laugh. Howard played that part and they left it in the song. Howard said it sounded good to him. Sting said it was funny. He said they never thought it would be a hit so they left it in.

    Howard asked when he heard the song for the first time on radio. Sting said he was painting his home and the song came on and he started singing it. He said he realized he was on the radio. He said then the phone rang and it was Stewart saying they were on the radio. H said it was the most exciting moment for them. He said it was a feeling they could never recreate.

    Howard said after that they were able to get a record deal. Howard said he heard that they were offered the chance to open for Foreigner. Sting told them that they don't open for anyone. Howard asked what made him believe that was the case. Sting said instead of that they played in Poughkeepsie for 3 people. He said in the long run it worked out.

    Howard played some more songs from The Police's first album. He played ''Can't Stand Losing You.'' Howard said he wrote that about suicide. Howard asked what he was thinking when he wrote that. Sting said the guy was just being over dramatic.

    Howard played another song called ''So Lonely'' and asked Sting about that one. Sting said he was playing that song in front of 10,000 people once and wondering why he was singing it. Howard asked if his whole life changed after that. Sting said it did but he was already 27. He said he'd already had a whole life before that happened. He said he feels bad for people who don't have a life before they hit. He said you need psychological strength.

    Howard asked Sting about the next album ''Reggatta de Blanc'' and if he got more important as they went on. Sting said he had a whole catalog of songs that he'd never used before so he was putting them on that. Howard said this album was another hit. Howard asked if they are ready to do ''Message in a Bottle'' now. Sting said they are. Howard had them perform the song.

    After the song Howard said that's such a great song. Howard asked why Sting started playing regular guitar and no bass. Sting said he was always a guitar player. He said in his first band he had to play bass. Howard said Diego is playing bass today. Howard said he's playing a song that Sting used to play bass on. Diego said it's Sting's bass too. Howard asked if he told him he has to play it for this song. Sting said it was just the one that was handy. He said this is the band called The Last Bandeleros. He said they used to have a Police tribute band. Howard asked who sang. Diego said he did. Howard said he's taking it a bit too far. Howard said he hired them though. Howard said it's a very narcissistic thing. Sting said that they're very good looking and he brings down the median age in the band. Howard asked if the guys are scared of Sting. They said not anymore.

    Howard asked if that song was his signature song. Sting said he thinks ''Every Breath You Take'' is. He said he won an award for that one. Howard asked if Sting is in a room and one of his songs is on does he listen to it or what. Sting said he does a full routine of lip syncing.

    Howard played the song ''Walking On the Moon'' which was from the next album. Howard said this was the third Police album. Howard said Sting was walking around his room and he came up with the lyric ''Walking around the room.'' Sting said that's true. He said he had the bassline in his head and he was free associating. He said he was pacing around and walking around the room. He said it wasn't exactly poetic. He said he remembered the moon mission and he thought about how being in love was kind of like walking on the moon. Howard asked if that's how he writes a song. Sting said you start with rubbish and run with it. Howard said he's been doing it all wrong.

    Howard said with the third album the band started to crack. Howard said the other two were upset that Sting was making more money. Sting said that's kind of where it started. He said it was tense.

    Howard said the album Zenyatta Mondatta was the third. Howard said they tried to write more songs as a band but they weren't able to do it. Howard said Sting says this is his least favorite album. Sting said he doesn't think so. He said he just says shit sometimes. Howard said he has so many great songs on the album. Howard said ''Don't Stand so Close To Me'' is great. Howard played some of the song. Howard said he wrote this about being a teacher. Sting said it wasn't about that. Howard said he thinks he thought about the girls being hot for their teacher. Sting said that's not what it's about. He said maybe he was thinking of an older teacher and student thing. Howard said he can see where that would come from. Robin asked if the students knew he was a musician. Sting said they did because he played for them.

    Howard said the song ''De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da'' was just nonsense lyrics. Howard said this song is powerful too. Howard played that and said that's another one that goes huge. He said he loves it. Howard said he had to play all of his songs over and over again on the radio.

    Howard said that another hit song was ''When The World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around'' Howard said that must be fitting for these days. Howard asked how he comes up with songs. He asked if he comes up with a bassline first. Sting said he does. He said if you structure it right it's just figuring it all out. Howard asked if he woke up today and heard a tune. Sting said not today. He said he felt like he just woke up from a bad dream this morning.

    Sting said he likes silence because that's when the music comes to him. He said now they have music everywhere. He said it's on all the time. Howard said we're bombarded with it constantly.

    Howard asked Sting about trying to come up with a hit song and if that fucks it all up. Sting said it does. He said it's like catching an animal. He said it's like hunting.

    Howard played another Police song and said that Robert Downey Jr. sang it for Sting. Sting said he used to be his waiter before he was famous.

    Howard asked Sting about not covering a lot of songs. Howard said they do cover ''A Day in the Life'' by the Beatles. Howard played some of that cover. Howard said they do ''Little Wing'' by Hendrix too. Sting said they used to do this with a Big Band arrangement too. Howard said it's a beautiful song. Howard said it's sad that we never got to hear more of what Hendrix could have done. Howard said the same about John Lennon. Howard said one of the greatest minds was taken from us. Sting said they also lost Bowie this year and that's another great mind. Howard asked if he hung with him. Sting said he did. He it's such a shock when someone like that passes. Howard asked if Sting thinks about that for his own life. Sting said he's 65 now so he does. Howard asked if it's hard getting older. Sting said he still has his body and he's still horny. He said that's all that matters. Howard asked if he still does yoga. Sting said he does all of that. Howard asked if his body doesn't ache. Sting said he seems to be in pretty good shape.

    Howard said he wants to keep going and hearing about more of his songs. Howard played ''Invisible Sun'' and ''Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.'' Howard asked Sting about recording demos and how he has said the demos sounded better than what the band did. Sting said they would play the demos and the band would play on top of them. He said it worked. Howard asked if he realized he didn't need the band and he could do it on his own. Howard played ''Spirits in the Material World'' too. Howard sang a little bit of that. Howard said he's still shocked that he has a Police cover band playing for him.

    Howard asked Sting if he ever thought about writing a song and thinking he might be stealing a song from someone. Sting said there are only 12 notes so of course you borrow from someone else. He said the lawsuits are ludicrous. He said that no one invented music. He said he thought the Marvin Gaye lawsuit was ridiculous. He said a musician wouldn't sue you.

    Howard said they're going to do ''Every Breath You Take'' next. Howard asked how long that took to write. Sting said it wasn't that long. He said it has a power that comes from its ambiguity. He said that people get married to it. Howard said he thought it was a stalker song. Sting said it was during Ronald Reagan time when he was building the Star Wars missile system and it was kind of weird. Howard had them perform the song ''Every Breath You Take.''

    After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said for a tribute band they have it down. Robin said the vocals are haunting.

    Howard said the Syncronicity album was the last one the band did together. Howard asked if the record company thought they were out of their minds for breaking up. Howard asked if it was his decision alone. Sting said they didn't officially break up. He said he wanted to make a solo album like the others had done. He said he had a massive hit with that and he was like ''Hang on a minute...'' Howard said maybe when he was a younger man he needed the family of a band because his real family wasn't here for him. Sting said he loves and respects the other guys but he needed to spread his wings and do something else. He said that a band has a certain sound and it's very limiting. He said a Police record has to sound like a Police song. Howard played some of the songs that were on their last album. Howard had a few of their hits. Howard said that's why people thought they were nuts for breaking up.

    Howard said he heard he makes $750,000 a year off ''Every Breath You Take'' every year. Howard said he heard that they used the music in the Puff Daddy song and they didn't come to him first so the music is his and he gets paid from that. Sting said it's fantastic when they do that. He said it's been the longest running number one song in history because of that. Sting said he rubbed his hands together when that was a hit. He said that Elton John sent it to him asking if he had heard it yet.

    Howard said he heard Sting got a hold of Bruce Springsteen and told him to drop the E Street Band. Sting said that's nonsense. He said Bruce does what he wants. Sting said he never had that conversation. Howard asked if this is a rumor he started. Sting said Howard may have. He said it's not true. Howard said Bruce is a brilliant artist but he needed the band.

    Howard said Sting went solo and did this. He played ''If You Love Somebody Set Them Free'' and said that you really have to do that. Sting said you have to evolve as a human being. He said marriage vows say you wont change. He said everyone changes. Howard said his daughter got married and she said in her vows that she vows to change. Howard said he's not sure where she learned that.

    Howard played some of ''We'll Be Together'' and ''All This Time'' that Sting had on his solo album. Howard said they still sound sort of Police like. Sting said that's in his DNA so of course they do.

    Howard said now he has a new album out. Howard said Sting can't rest on his laurels. He said he has to go out and tour. Sting said they'll be touring next year. He said he's on the Howard Stern show too so he's pushing this album.

    Sting said the album is already a success to him. He said people are saying they didn't expect this. He said that's a success to him. He said he's already getting air play. Howard said a lot of artists won't put out an album.

    Howard said they're going to do a song from the new album called ''I Can't Stop Thinking About You.'' sting said it's not about a person. He said it's about trying to fill a piece of paper with inspiration and idea. He said he locked himself out of his apartment and had to finish the lyric before he'd go back in. Howard said there must be tons of help to let him in. Sting said he told them not to let him come back in. He said he wrote it in the freezing cold.

    Howard asked why Gwen Stefani inducted him into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Sting said he's known her since she was 12. He said she sent him a picture when she was back stage once. He said they met again and she showed him the picture and the difference was incredible. Sting said it was his idea to have her induct him. Howard asked if it was awkward to be with the guys there. Sting said not at all. He said they deserved it.

    Howard had the guys perform the new song ''I Can't Stop Thinking About You'' which is on the new album ''57TH & 9TH.''

    After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said the song is about writing music. Howard said he looks happy singing that song. Howard said look at the band. He said they were a tribute band. One of the guys said they did like 3 shows as the tribute band. He said it was just for fun. Howard said that was a beautiful song. He gave him a plug for the album and said the ''57TH & 9TH'' is where he walks around a lot apparently. Sting said he does live up that way. He said he records in Hell's Kitchen so he walks that way. Howard asked if people stop him on the street all the time. Sting said that some do say they like his music or that he sucks but they don't really bother him that much.

    Howard said Sting said he's going to take all of his money with him and his kids have to make their own because they're not getting any of it. Howard asked if he's still saying that. Sting said they're working their asses off. Howard asked where his money goes. Sting said he's married to Trudy. Howard asked how she's doing. Sting said she's doing well. He said he remembers when Howard spoke to her for the first time.

    Howard gave Sting some plugs and said you can find out more at Howard said that he's going to play a song called ''50,000.'' Howard asked if it's a tribute to Bowie and others. Howard asked if it's true that he didn't go to his parent's funerals. Sting said he had made up with them before. He said that he didn't go to the funerals because it would have been a zoo. He said he does miss them. He said he wishes they could see him now.

    Howard named the guys in the band and thanked them all for coming in. Howard said they did a good job. Howard played the song ''50,000'' as they went to break.


  • JD's Job Interview - July 27, 2016. 04/26/17. 9:45am
    Next up on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to JD about his mock job interview. Here's my rundown from that day:

    JD's Job Interview. 07/27/16. 9:05am
    Howard said they were having a meeting yesterday and JD was in the meeting thinking he was picking on him. Howard said JD was hiding in there and he thinks he isn't noticed when he does that but he is noticed even more. Howard said he's fine with wherever he sits but he separates himself. He said it's just sad. JD said he doesn't like feeling cramped up against everyone. Howard said someone said that JD is kind of a dick. He said that when he gets to talking he can be kind of dicky. Howard said he should dress him in a Sia wig. He said then he'd feel comfortable.

    Howard said they sent JD down to H.R. to find out how he'd do interviewing for a job. Robin asked if JD knew he was being recorded. JD said he did. Howard said he was trying to do his best. Howard said they said they were hiring a media editor which is the job JD does. Howard said the woman is totally straight and she's not trying to shtick it up. Howard said actually Wolfie set it up as a job interview for a fortune 500 company. Howard said this woman has interviewed hundreds of candidates. Howard said JD treated it seriously.

    JD said he knew who was behind this so he wasn't trying his best. JD said he knows how they'd manipulate things. Howard said they didn't manipulate this. JD said he knows the angles they're looking for. Howard said he did his best and he thanked him for that.

    Howard said JD might be the worst in a job interview. He said that includes Sour Shoes and Mick the Nerd. Howard said JD starts giggling and stammering after the first question and he doesn't stop.

    Howard played the audio of JD's interview and the woman, Hanna, asks JD to describe himself. JD stated laughing and then stopped and explained what he's like. Howard stopped it and said that's a strong start. JD said he sounds like such a dick too. Howard said he doesn't think he's a dick. Howard said if someone is looking for a giggler then they've got the right person. Howard played more of the audio of JD trying to tell the woman about his job. JD said he can't get into that and started laughing again. JD said he's got more paperwork in his job now and he's not comfortable with that because it adds time.

    Howard said he was sitting home listening to this so he asked Gary what he's talking about. He said Gary didn't even know. Howard said what he's talking about is when he pulls a clip off a TV show they asked him to write down what it's about so they know what it is. That's it. Howard said he thought they had him filling out a time sheet or something. Howard said he's not an accountant. Howard said it's just the clip information. Howard said that's it.

    Howard asked JD if that's it. JD said it's a little more than that. Howard said he just needed to know what he was doing. Howard asked why he's giggling. JD didn't have an answer.

    Howard played another clip of JD giggling when he was asked a question. Howard said he'd throw him out by now. He played more of JD laughing for no apparent reason. Howard said JD should hope he keeps working. Howard said this was so bad he cut some of it out. He said that he didn't want JD to be down in the dumps all day. Robin said maybe he needs to hear it. JD said he's heard it plenty.

    Howard played another clip where Hanna asked JD about his biggest weakness. JD said communication. He said he's shy and keeps to himself and he's not very social. Howard said he pays women to put peanut butter on dogs.

    Howard said JD's answer for ''if you think of yourself as a brand, what would your motto be?'' was ''Set the bar low and they'll be impressed.'' Howard said ''Holy shit'' when he heard that. Howard said he could get someone better than JD. He said he must be able to get someone better. Howard said he's saying be your most mediocre. JD said that's not what he's saying.

    Howard played more of JD trying to explain that. JD was rambling and not making much sense. JD said he lost his train of thought. He said there's a clip for you. He said just move on.

    Howard asked what he's going to do with JD. He said he worries about him. He said he's his boy. JD said he wasn't saying do your worst. Howard said JD seems intelligent on Twitter. Robin said maybe someone is writing those for him. JD said he writes them himself. JD said he speaks better when he's not being recorded.

    Howard said the interviewer asked JD if he was okay at one point. Howard played that clip and JD said he's fine. He said he's just a nervous wreck. Hanna said he was moving around a lot and she wanted to make sure he was okay. Howard said he was rocking and giggling. Hanna asked how the nervousness manifests itself. JD said he doesn't know. He said just sitting oddly rocking back and forth. He laughed and said ''I don't know.''

    Robin asked if Howard sees that in the meetings. Howard said he doesn't notice it. Gary said they were in a meeting a few weeks ago and he asked JD to stop rocking and JD said he can't. JD said it's just something he can't stop doing. Howard said he will put this all behind him when he's in his 40s. JD said maybe when people aren't fucking with him it'll stop. Howard said he worries about him. JD said he'll be okay. Howard said it sounds like when you go to court and the guy is pleading insanity. JD said this isn't really helping playing the clips for the public. Howard asked if he wants him to stop. JD said he can keep going.

    Howard played a clip where JD was asked what he thinks his pay should be and he basically said ''whatever.'' JD said if it was a ''starting out job'' he would take whatever. He said he'd want something fair that any other person would get.

    Howard asked JD why he didn't answer. JD said he didn't want to put out there what he makes. Howard played another clip where JD was asked what he wants to do in the long run. JD said he wants to be a movie director. He was asked what he's doing to get there. JD said he didn't know. Robin said he's talking about himself and he doesn't know. JD said he's hoping one day to focus more on that.

    Howard said they asked JD how he felt it went and he thought it went okay. Howard played a clip of Wolfie asking him those questions about the interview. He was asked if he felt he'd get the job. JD said it depends on the kind of place he would be interviewing at. Wolfie had him rate it on a scale of 10. JD gave himself a 5 or 6. Howard asked who he's kidding. Howard said this is not good. JD said he's glad everyone can hear it now.

    Howard said he thinks he'd be rejected as a summer camp counselor. JD said he's okay with that. Howard said he's not sure he'd even be able to get into summer camp as a camper.

    Howard played Wolfie's interview with the interviewer. She said that the rocking and the laughing would not sit well. She said that JD looks like a behind the scenes kind of guy and it fits well with what he's doing now. She said that it took him a while to get to the point. Howard said he should have been an Orthodox Jew because they rock when they pray. Howard said he's going to leave some of the other things she said out of this.

    Howard said JD has to up his game because he's going to get married some day. Howard asked if anyone heard them talking about that yesterday. JD said some people did. Howard said imagine JD getting married. He played JD laughing along to ''Here Comes the Bride.''

    Howard asked JD if he would invite everyone from work to his wedding. JD said he's not sure after today. He said Wolfie won't be there. Howard asked if Jason would be invited. JD said possibly. Gary asked who JD points the finger at for this stuff today. JD said Wolfie and Jason. He said Wolfie he doesn't want in his life at all. He said he just likes to fuck with him and he doesn't know the guy. He said Jason would probably be in. Howard asked who his best man is. JD said that Ronnie might be in it. Jon Hein might be the best man. Howard said Ronnie is the guy who always wants to help him. JD said he loves Ronnie. He said he's just closer to Jon.

    Howard asked who he would leave out of the wedding. JD said he's not sure he wants anyone there. He said he just wants to elope. Howard said that's what Fred did. He had a plumber to his wedding. Fred said that guy invited himself. Howard asked if Scott would be invited. JD said yes. Howard asked if he would have Benjy. JD said possibly yes. He said they're not that close. Howard said so far Benjy is out... JD said no one is out. He said Wolfie isn't a person there so he doesn't count that.

    Howard said they have to get this going. Howard took a call from a guy who said that he worked at Willowbrook and they had patients who rocked there. He said that they called it the Willowbrook rock. He said JD might have some of that retard in him. Howard said they have to have Wolfie cover JD's wedding as a reporter.

    The caller asked who nominates the head of the FCC. Howard said the President does. Howard said that Trump could ask him for his advice on that.

    Howard said at JD's wedding they can do something. He said that the bride could come down the aisle and Wolfie could be under the veil.

    Howard took a call from Wolfie who said he will be there for sure. He said he thinks his girlfriend likes him. JD said he's off the guest list. Wolfie said he can lay back and take it all in and they won't even know he's there. Wolfie said that his vows would be so good. Wolfie asked what Howard cut out of that interview. Howard said that woman was tough on JD so he cut something out. JD said he knows what was cut out. He has bad breath. Howard said that was brutal. JD said he was chewing gum during the interview. Howard said he has to brush. JD said he does brush. He said he has to find a new dentist. Wolfie let out an ''Ugh'' when he heard that. JD told him to shut up.

    Howard said he uses a thing called The Doctors brush picks. He said he cleans out the shit from his teeth and that's what JD has to do. Howard said he has to brush a few times a day. Howard said that's what he does. Howard said something is up with him. Howard said he wasn't even going to bring it up. JD said he's going to go to a dentist.

    Howard said his girlfriend must be struggling. Wolfie said he asked some Wack Packers if anyone smelled that day and they said JD. Howard said JD has to get that under control.

    Jason said they have some color splotches back there. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. He said JD has to go to the dentist. Howard said he has to get out of there in 5 years. He said he can hardly piss anymore. He said he's going to be a disaster in 5 years. Howard said he doesn't pee at a urinal. He said he was standing at a urinal for like 5 minutes and a young guy walks in and pees and it sounds like a horse. Howard said he forgot what it was like being young. Howard said he was done in like 15 seconds. Howard said he drips like a faucet himself. Howard said he was envious of the guy's stream. He said he has pee envy. He was yellow with envy.

    Howard said he's leaving in 5 years so JD has to get it together before then. Howard said JD will be like 41 in 5 years. Howard did the math pretty quickly with that. Howard said JD is going to have a wife and kids and he's leaving radio. Howard said JD has to save some money. He asked if he has money in the bank. JD said he has a savings account with 3 grand in it. Howard said that's enough for toothpaste. Howard said 3 grand and he's thinking about getting married. JD said he's not thinking about it. Gary said they were talking about it on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and they think he's saving up for a ring. JD said he is focused on getting a bigger apartment for two people. JD said he's saving and he has over 10 grand in the bank. Howard said that's more like it. JD said he has a 401K and he's very leery on the stock market stuff. Howard said that's good.

    Howard said he had like 8 grand saved up back when he got married. Howard said he had a plan. Wolfie said you're supposed to save up 6 months salary just in case you lose your job. Howard told Wolfie he did a good job with that whole interview thing. He said he has to do more prep work with JD. Howard asked if she really said his breath was bad. Wolfie said she did. Howard said he's going to start working with him on that. He said he's going to teach him how to brush with a series of lectures. Howard said this segment was supposed to be funny but it became serious and depressing. JD said they were laughing in the office. Howard said they can work on the breath thing.

    Howard said he thinks most of the guys won't do well in an interview. Robin said she thinks Jason and Will are okay. Howard said Richard might not be. Howard said Jon and Gary will be okay too.

    Wolfie asked Howard how he would describe himself. Howard went into an explanation about how hard a worker he is and how he has led groups of people and he's been told he's a leader. Wolfie said that's good. Howard said that's what you say even if it's not true. Howard said he has pleasant breath too. Robin asked if JD could repeat what Howard just said. JD said he was working on something so he didn't get it all. He did hear about the hard worker thing.

    Howard said JD's motto would be ''set the bar low.'' JD said that's not what he was saying. Howard said he knows what he was trying to say but he didn't get it out. Wolfie said JD is one of the hardest working guys he knows. Howard said he is. He said he has no ability to sell himself. Robin said listening to that interview he'd fire him. Howard said in the last year they're there he might have to train JD how to interview. Howard said it'll be one big H.R. session. Robin said Richard and Sal should get in on that.

    Wolfie asked if they did this a year from now if things would be different. Howard told Gary to mark in the calendar that they have to do it a year from now. JD said he's not doing anything with Wolfie again. Howard said he's going to work with JD next year and prep him for an interview. JD said he's done with any Wolfie bits. Howard asked Wolfie if he's ready. Wolfie said he is. Howard said he can either do the job interview again or have him at his wedding. JD said he would pick the job interview. Howard said they're in then. Howard said Wolfie had another home run with this. Howard said he's on fire lately. Big round of applause for him. Howard clapped and asked if he has to take a break. Fred said they should. Howard went to break after that. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Nicole Bass Strips - May 2, 2016. 04/26/17. 10:35am
    Next up on today's replay show they played a segment where Nicole Bass came in to talk about stripping. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Nicole Bass Visits. 05/02/16. 8:35am
    Howard said he has a panel in the studio to help Nicole Bass out. Howard said they have Ronnie there and he has been to a lot of strip clubs. Ronnie said he gave her advice on her first strip club. Howard said she hasn't been doing it since. Howard said JD is also sitting in. Howard said that he once blew his entire tax return at a strip club. Ronnie said he was there that day. Howard said Richard Christy is in and so is Shuli. Shuli said he was at her first strip club thing and he hasn't been back since.

    Richard said that JD's cock is hard. He even grabbed at it to check it. Richard said he's hard. JD said he's not. He said he's being an asshole.

    Howard asked if it's true that he went to the ballet with his girlfriend last week. JD said yes. Howard asked how boring it was. JD said it wasn't the most exciting thing. Howard said Beth knows not to bring him to something like that. JD said she wanted him to go and it's not something they'll do regularly. Howard said he hopes he got blown afterward. JD said he's not going to talk about that. Howard asked if he liked it. JD said it was okay. Howard asked if Ronnie would ever go. Ronnie said no.

    Gary said Ronnie went to see Cinderella on Broadway. Ronnie said Stephanie wanted to see it so they went. He said they sat right up front. He said it was for her birthday. Shuli said that it must have looked like a grandfather bringing his granddaughter out to see the show. Ronnie said he has had people say that it looks like he's out with his daughter. He said they don't get it much anymore. He said she was only 24 when they started dating. He said she's 33 today. He said now she's not walking good because she had an operation. He said it's time to fucking go. He said happy birthday to his lovely girlfriend. Howard said she's his fiancee now. Ronnie said nothing has changed though. Howard asked if she will ever get too old for him. Ronnie said no at first but then said that it could happen.

    Shuli said they drove to a show once and Stephanie wanted to do her makeup and Ronnie flipped out on her saying she should have done it during the drive. He said he rules with an iron fist. Howard said Ronnie might have been right in that situation. Howard did his Ronnie impression for a short time.

    Howard said they have to get Nicole in there. JD said she looks like Fonzie. Ronnie said he wants to start off. He said that dress will never do. He said no fucking way. Richard said the boots are super sexy. Howard said everyone has to shut up for a minute.

    Howard asked Nicole why she's wearing Herman Munster boots. Nicole said it takes a few days to get shoes in her size. She wears a size 14. She said she has a great ''footish fetish'' foot.

    Howard asked Nicole about Chyna the WWE wrestler who died. Howard asked if she was friends with her. Nicole said Chyna was a cunt. Howard asked why that is. Nicole said they were pitted against each other and they were supposed to fight. She said that when she started Chyna had copied her outfit. She said that she used the whole leather dominatrix outfit that she was wearing. Fred did his Herman Munster impression of Nicole talking about that. He said she stole her beard and stubble groomer. Fred said she stole her jock strap.

    Nicole said that Chyna was on top of the world in the WWF and she was on top of the world in the independent wrestling. Nicole said that she was glad she stole the whole leather thing. Howard said this is like the worst tribute ever. Richard said that he's glad she didn't know Prince.

    Howard asked who had a bigger clit, her or Chyna. Nicole said Chyna did. Howard said he thought she was going to show them her vagina today. Nicole said she never said that. She said she showed it to Howard and he doesn't remember it. She said that he pointed the microphone at it like it was going to speak. Shuli told her to rein it in. He said he told her before the show that he was going to do that when she rambles.

    Howard asked Nicole about Robin seeing her vagina years ago. Nicole said she was so set up. She said Robin said she didn't know what she saw and it was so set up. Howard asked if maybe her pussy lips are engorged. She said that she doesn't deny having a big clit.

    Benjy said he wants to see it and describe it. He said he doesn't want her to be made fun of. Nicole said she's not showing it to anyone but Robin.

    Nicole said a few more words about Chyna and said that she admires what she did. Shuli had to tell her to focus again. Howard asked if she has a job at a strip club that she wants to promote. Nicole said she does not. She is looking to remarket herself into the industry. Nicole said she's getting back into it after the death of her husband. Howard said he thinks she looks better with a little less muscle. Ronnie said that it's not going to work if she bulks up again. Howard said he thinks that it looks better with less muscle.

    Howard asked what she weighs now. She said she's 215 or 220. Howard had some clips from some appearances she made in the past. Howard played some fake intros they had created for her.

    Shuli asked if she would do a fully nude booking. Nicole said she is not going bottomless. She said what she can bring to the industry is her clientele. She said they're men who admire women bodybuilders. Howard asked how old she is now. Nicole said she's 51. Howard asked if she has a boyfriend. She said no. She said she had one but now she has an order of protection. She said that he beat the crap out of her. She said she got pretty beat up. Howard asked what led to the fight. She said his mother is a lunatic. She started to tell a story but never got through it.

    Howard asked Nicole if she still gets wet. Nicole said she's miss Niagara Falls. Howard asked if her clit can get in a guy's ass. She said no. Howard asked if she likes guys going down on her. She said she likes both.

    Shuli said that Nicole almost got thrown out of a hotel for having sex so loud with her boyfriend. Robin asked what that orgasm sounds like. Fred did his Herman Munster banging his feet sound.

    Howard asked if men think she has a penis and then they're disappointed when she doesn't. Nicole said that the guys she dates like that she has a big clit.

    Howard asked if Nicole wants to dance for them. Nicole said she's all sweaty. Shuli said he saw her strip and she was so sweaty she looked like she had just stepped out of a pool. Howard asked why she's sweating so much. Nicole said she's sweating now. Nicole said that was her first appearance and she was really nervous. Howard played a couple of announcements that could have been made for her that day.

    Howard said Nicole is very muscular. He asked what she wants to dance to. Fred played some ''Dude Looks Like a Lady'' for her. Nicole wanted something else. Fred played another song. Ronnie said he thinks that she could fit in at some strip clubs.

    Nicole said she has compared her clit to other's at strip clubs. Howard said that Robin had to have seen something strange down there. Nicole said it wasn't strange. Fred did his Herman Munster voice and said that she hides her clit behind her balls. Howard said he thinks Robin may need to see it again. Robin said she just got over the last time. She's not going to do it again.

    Howard had Fred play some music for Nicole. Fred played ''Who Let the Dogs Out'' and everyone cracked up. Howard told Nicole to get into it. Nicole asked to her ''I'm Too Sexy'' for her. Fred did that and Nicole danced for the guys. They all laughed. Ronnie was cracking up. Ronnie said he was laughing at the music.

    Richard was gagging at something. Howard said he's going to vomit. Howard told him to calm down. Nicole said now it's like alright guys. Fred was singing as Nicole. Howard told Robin to talk to her as a woman. Robin said she has to get internal and forget everyone and just do her thing. Nicole asked how she's going to get out of that dress. Ronnie said that is the worst dress.

    Nicole was stripping down and Richard was close to vomiting. Fred played a clip from the Hindenberg crash. There was a lot going on in there. Everyone was talking over each other. Richard was puking. Howard told Nicole to keep dancing but then said they were done. Howard said Ronnie was giving Nicole a hand job.

    Howard told Nicole to get back up there. Howard said she's in some shape. Howard said look at those boobs. Howard said Ronnie got the lap dance. Howard said Richard threw up.

    Ronnie said that her stocking was wrong. He said he doesn't get that. He said she has to get some sexy shit. He said she needs some lingerie stuff.

    Howard asked JD why he ran out of the room. JD said he didn't want her near him. He said she has bruises on her thigh. Richard said he's never seen anyone run so fast.

    Howard said Richard had a violent reaction. Richard apologized for that. He said that there were some bruises and stuff. Nicole said she has scars from what happened to her. Howard said think about how thin JD would be if she chased him around for 15 minutes.

    Shuli said he thinks there's a market out there for her. He said a lot of dudes came out to see her at that first appearance. Ronnie said she could be big. He said she has to do small towns in the mountains. He said not in New York City though. He said they won't hire her there. Ronnie said she'd fit right in out in the mountains though. Nicole said she knows she's not in good shape right now.

    Howard asked how to get in touch with her. Nicole said Danny at CenterfoldStrips is taking care of her. She said that she doesn't just do strip clubs. She said she's doing other appearances too. She said she used to do bachelor parties and stuff.

    Howard took a call from a guy who was playing puking sounds and saying he was sick from hearing that dance. Nicole said the market she hits is the bodybuilding market. She said it's the fetish industry. She said they want to see her in private. Howard said he just noticed her nipples are pierced. He didn't see that earlier. He said there's a lot going on there. Shuli said one tit is in New Jersey and one is in New York too.

    Howard said they have Chyna on the phone. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were playing clips of Chyna on the show.

    Howard said Nicole shaved down for the appearance. Nicole said she did. Howard said call Danny over at CenterfoldStrips. Ronnie said he used to bring girls in for them back at K-Rock. He said they've known him for a long time.

    Nicole said she does foot fetish stuff and other things too. Howard said he got a note saying she brought a stylist with her up there. Howard asked what she did. Nicole said she curled her hair. Howard asked if she did her make up too. Nicole said she did.

    Richard said Nicole used to do phone sex too. Howard said if you want to book Nicole get in touch with Danny from CenterfoldStrips.

    Howard took a call from a person calling herself Denise who was actually Sal in the back talking about what Nicole has taught her. Then Nicole started coughing over him. Nicole said she had pneumonia. Howard said she probably still has it. Howard asked why someone in the health industry has something like that.

    Ronnie said that he likes her standing there with her tits out. He was cracking up. Howard said Ronnie likes her. Ronnie was laughing and saying that's hot. Howard said she has her tits out. Nicole said she was evicted from her apartment and she didn't get her stuff back. Howard said he'd rather not get into all of that.

    Howard said he wants to wish her great success with her strip career. Nicole said it's not a strip career. Howard said whatever it is. Shuli told her to rein it in again. Howard said he likes the new look and said she has nice hips. He said her feet are sexy.

    Howard said that Nicole is putting it all out there. Howard said she's a fighter. Fred did his Herman Munster voice again. Nicole said Fred is the only one she's ever had a crush on who is on the show. Howard asked JD if he would fuck her or Caitlyn Jenner. JD said that's a tough one but went with Caitlyn. Howard thanked Nicole for coming in and wrapped up with her. Howard went to break a short time later. They played a couple of bits before going to break.

    Today's show was over around 11:10am.

-- Monday - Tuesday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Vacation Replay Show - Day 1. 04/24/17. 7:00am
    • Richard's Bachelor Party - November 1, 2016. 04/24/17. 7:00am
    • Speech Impediment Man - September 27, 2016. 04/24/17. 8:20am
    • Jeffrey Dean Morgan - November 29, 2016. 04/24/17. 9:00am
    • Shuli & Wendy Road Trip - August 10, 2016. 04/24/17. 10:00am
    • Beetlejuice Song Game - October 3, 2016. 04/24/17. 10:45am
    • Vacation Replay Show - Day 2. 04/25/17. 7:00am
    • Benjy Is Late Again - October 26, 2016. 04/25/17. 7:00am
    • Ronnie Vs. Brent - October 19, 2016. 04/25/17. 8:05am
    • Wack Pack Sex Tips - August 17, 2016. 04/25/17. 9:40am
    • Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - August 16, 2016. 04/25/17. 10:05am
    • Richard's Birthday - April 4, 2016. 04/25/17. 10:40am
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.

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