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-- Friday, July 21, 2017 --

  • Friday Replay Show. 07/21/17. 7:00am
    Here's what they played on today's replay show:

  • Charlize Theron. 07/21/17. 7:00am
    First up on today's replay show they played the Charlize Theron interview. Here's my rundown:

    Charlize Theron Visits. 07/19/17. 9:00am
    After the break they played a prank call Richard made to Tan Mom with a fake kid from Make-A-Wish where the kid's last wish was to see her boobs. They played a High Pitch Erik ''99 Pizzas'' song parody and Green Day performing ''Boulevard of Broken Dreams'' in the Howard Stern Show studio. They played a song parody about Bobo from Little Mikey and The Lemonheads ''Mrs. Robinson'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said Charlize Theron is there. Howard said she's ''Atomic Blonde'' which opens on July 28. Howard said that he's saying her name right too. Charlize said he is but even that's not right. She said in South Africa it's different. She explained to Howard how it is in South Africa.

    Howard asked how it was in South Africa. He asked if she saw a lot of segregation and all of that. Charlize said she did see that. She said she was very aware of it. Howard said he knows a guy who came from South Africa and he's a very staunch republican now.

    Howard asked if it's true that people got upset when she lost her accent. Charlize said they were upset that she was speaking with an American accent. Howard said she learned to speak like that by leaving the TV on constantly. Charlize said she was really poor and she wasn't able to afford a dialect coach so she watched Dynasty and Dallas. Howard said it has to be hard to lose that accent. She said it is until you're told that you won't get a job.

    Howard asked if she slips back into that accent. She said she does and her mom is only a couple of miles from her so they talk in that African accent.

    Howard asked Charlize about winning an Academy Award and what happens after that. He wondered if she worries about what movies she does after that. Charlize said she felt a freedom to choose and do what she wanted to do. Howard asked if her life changed that night. Charlize said there were a lot of studios and she felt a bit of pressure. she said she liked that she was on Arrested Development right after winning the Academy Award. Howard asked if her agent was upset. Charlize said she didn't have one. She said she had an incredible manager that she just went with. She said she was very supportive of what she was doing. she said they wrote her something funny and weird and that's what she wanted to do.

    Howard asked if winning the Oscar was something she wanted to do. Charlize said she never thought it would happen to her. She said she just wanted to be an actor and not have a second job. Howard said people don't realize that. Howard said he bets she knew a lot of people who didn't get the break. Charlize said she's been very vocal about how you're only as lucky as the opportunities you're given.

    Howard said Charlize auditioned for Showgirls. Howard said it turned Elizabeth Berkeley into a joke kind of. Howard said that the movie just went wrong. Howard said she came close to getting the role. Charlize said it was between her and Elizabeth. Howard said she must have wanted the role. Charlize said it was the closest she ever got to a big role like that. She said Paul Verhoven made some big movies and made stars out of people. She said it was between her and Elizabeth. She said she was 18 and she just wanted to work. She said she knew she had to work her way up. Charlize said she was willing to pay her dues.

    Howard said he loves that people ask how she could be in a shitty movie and sometimes you can't tell. He said you don't know how a movie is going to turn out. Charlize said she had no resume and no training.

    Howard asked if she went to see the movie when it came out. Charlize said she knows she saw it but she's not sure where. Howard asked if she was relieved that she wasn't in it. Charlize said the interesting thing is that she got to meet Elizabeth years after the film and she's one of the nicest people she's ever met. She said she was really so classy about all of that. she said she owned that it wasn't so great.

    Howard said that Charlize had the dream career and a lot of people must not be able to be friendly with her. Charlize said she has felt it but not to the point where it's alive and consistently there. She said there's more conversation about it.

    Howard asked if she knew that she was going to win for ''Monster.'' Charlize said she actually turned down the job. She said that Patty Jenkins wouldn't take no for an answer. Howard said that Patty also did Wonder Woman.

    Howard said she comes to her and says she wants her in ''Monster'' and she didn't want to do it. Charlize said that she saw who this woman was and how she behaved and she felt like the script was so good she had to do it visually to who she was. She said she wasn't sure she could do that. Howard said that Patty was able to envision her with that appearance playing the part. Howard said she believed in her acting. Charlize said she was relentless. Robin said that she had a physical, brutish look about her.

    Howard asked if she had to campaign for winning the Academy Award. Charlize said by the time the film came out there was a buzz around it. She said that was before she was even nominated. Charlize said people were talking about her in a lead and it wasn't about being opposite a guy. She said she carried the film. Howard said that Roger Ebert said that it was like the best acting job ever. Howard asked if she reads reviews. Charlize said she does actually. She said she's not hung up on criticism. Charlize said that she looks at it as something to learn from. She said she won't take it personally.

    Howard said when Aeon Flux came out she said it should have been a better film. Charlize said she was worried while they were making it. she said she was worried from the start. Howard asked if she could smell something going wrong. Charlize said she was not connecting with the story like she has felt before. Howard asked whose fault that is. Charlize said she thinks it's everyone's fault. She said that they have to take responsibility. Howard said that can happen with a film. He said you go to the premiere and the film blows. He asked if she knew it was bad. Charlize said she had seen it in screenings and there was no saving that one.

    Howard said that Charlize was directed by Robert Redford. Howard asked if he's a good director. Charlize said he's very impressive. Howard said he was a pretty boy in Hollywood and you assume he's an idiot but he's not. Charlize said he loves all aspects of making films. Howard asked what he was good at.

    Howard asked Charlize about working with Matt Damon and if she felt like she had to fall in love with him on the set. Charlize said no. She said he is a great guy. She said that she loves the Bostonian guys. She said that they're all incredible. Charlize said she fucking loves all of them. Howard said that he did a movie and it was the best. He said you fall in love with the whole thing. Howard said he fell in love with anyone who was on the set. Howard asked how she does scenes with him and doesn't have a personal relationship. Charlize said it never occurred to her. She said she has fallen for co-stars but it's not every time. She asked if Howard fell in love with Mary McCormack. Howard said of course he did. He said he had a boner in every scene.

    Charlize said when you're a professional you don't have to fall in love. Charlize said that they have qualities that she could fall for. She said she has been with someone she met on a movie set. She said she was with one guy for 10 years. Howard said it's such an unnatural environment. Howard said these people on The Bachelor fall in love on the show but then they get back to reality and they're in a one bedroom apartment with nothing in the refrigerator. Howard asked who she fell in love with. She said it was Stuart Townsend. Howard said it changes off the set. Charlize said she didn't really work with him that much on the set. She said it was about them being kidnapped away from each other. She said that she was working with Kevin Bacon mostly. She said maybe that's why they fell in love.

    Howard said Charlize did the movie ''The Ciderhuose Rules'' and she didn't really like something Tobey Maguire did. Howard asked if she can blow by that. Charlize said she looks at that movie and thinks they pulled it off. She said she thinks it goes both ways. She said that they both didn't like each other. She said she thinks that they're professional enough that they had to do it. Howard asked what it was that got to her. Howard asked if he just rubbed her the wrong way. Charlize said you're just going to come across people you don't like. She said she just saw him last week and she was fine. She said that they laugh about it now. Charlize said she saw him on 4th of July and gave him a hug. She said she saw him at a party. Howard said he saw him at a party too. He said he came over and hugged him too. Charlize said she doesn't hold on to that stuff.

    Charlize said she doesn't want to bring up old stuff like that. Howard asked if she's Facebook friends with him. Charlize said she doesn't really do that stuff. She said she has Twitter and Instagram but not all that much. She said she does use it to share things with people at times.

    Howard said he's trying to understand this. He said sometimes you're teamed up and you have to muscle through it. Howard said if you're not good at your job it's going to show up on the screen. Howard asked if she ever gets upset that she has to leave the people on the movie set. Charlize said she does. She said it's so cold turkey. She said you're with people for 50-60 or 140 days. She said you get into a ritual and they become almost a family.

    Howard asked if she was shocked that Mad Max got recognized by the Academy. Howard said it was great film making. Charlize said George Miller is great. She said certain genres aren't looked upon as serious. Howard asked if he hasn't done films that she regrets turning down. Charlize said she hasn't had regrets. She said she was attached to Chicago and she really wanted that. She said that she was hoping to be in it but she didn't get it. She said she got kicked off it. she said the director kicked her off. She said she was really bummed about that. Howard said when you're kicked off something like that it has to be tough. Charlize said this was before she won the Oscar. She said that there was a director who brought her on and the director was fired and the new guy was brought in and kicked her off. Howard asked who replaced her. She said that it as the Renee Zellwegger role. Howard asked if she saw it. Charlize said she did. She said Renee did a great job. Howard said she could have done a better job. Charlize said not at all. Howard asked how she knew she was fired. Charlize said she got a call from her manager. She said she understood why they did it. She said she totally gets it. She said she did feel it though.

    Howard asked Charlize about being a little girl and wanting to be an actor. Howard said she left South Africa and came to where. She said she came to New York. She said she modeled but she was a terrible model. Howard asked how that was terrible. Charlize said she thinks she didn't have a passion for it. She said she barely scraped by on it. She said she had a tourist visa and she had to utilize that. Charlize said that she didn't want to live off her mom or anything. She wanted to be independent. She wanted to feed herself and have a place to live. She said she had to have a job to do all of that.

    Howard asked who discovered her to be a model. Charlize said she was 15 and there was a local modeling contest. She said her mom and a friend sent a photo of her in and then she got into this competition and it was on South African TV. She said she never thought of herself as crazy beautiful.

    Howard asked if she's freaked out now when a guy wants to date her. Howard said he used to see Letterman practically orgasm when he saw her on his show. Charlize said he was so nice to her. Howard said he caught himself shaving his nasal hairs this morning because he knew she was coming in. Howard said he had a thicket in there and he didn't want her to see it. Charlize said that's very nice. Howard said men jump through hoops for her. Charlize said she didn't have guys fawning over her in high school. She said she was madly in love with a guy and he never paid attention to her. She said she hoped he'd ask her to the dance but he never did. She said she wasn't intimidating back then. She said she wasn't very showy or anything. She said her father was an alcoholic and it was embarrassing to have friends over so she never had friends over.

    Howard said that most kids would shut down emotionally based on what she saw. Her mother shot her father accidentally. Howard said that had to be tough. Charlize said that it was tough for years. She said she was floating around Europe for about 6 years pretending it didn't happen. She said she would just tell people he died in a car accident. Howard said that has to be the worst. Charlize said people don't know how to respond to that story. She said she doesn't want to feel like a victim. She said she went into therapy when she was in her late 20s and early 30s. Howard asked if she knew she was traumatized.

    Howard asked if her mom is still alive. Charlize said she is and she lives just a couple of miles away from her. She said she's never had therapy. She said dealing with something like that was tough. She said that she just went ahead with everything and moved on. Howard said she should go to therapy too. Charlize said that they have both dealt with that night very well. She said that it's not just about that one night. She said she experienced something very frightening. She said that you don't know what your day is gong to be like with an alcoholic parent.

    Howard asked if her therapy started because of that. Charlize said that she started the therapy because her relationship was coming to an end with Stuart and she wanted it to work.

    Howard asked Charlize about becoming a ballerina and how her knees gave out. Charlize said that it was coming. She said that she was tall and she was young and naive. She said she thought she was young and invincible. Howard asked if that was crushing to her. Charlize said it was. She said she was stuck in her apartment with no windows in a basement. she said she was sharing it with 3 other girls. she said she was living there for about a month. She said her mom flew out and kicked her in the ass and told her that she had to try something. Howard asked if she thinks the knee pain was self sabotage. Charlize said that's really interesting. Howard said he has learned a lot about back pain and knee pain. Charlize said she read the book that Howard has talked about. Howard said think about that. He said maybe she should go back to being a Ballerina.

    Howard said he saw Atomic Blonde and he loved it. He said he loves people being shot and killed. Howard said he loves the John Wick movies and they were made by the guy who did Atomic Blonde. Howard said Charlize has worked with Keanu Reeves too. Charlize said she trained with him. Howard said he's seen Keanu's training and he can really shoot. Charlize said he was a real inspiration for her. Howard said you can see they're really working the equipment in those movies. Charlize said that she had to look authentic. She said she didn't want people to think that she can't do that stuff.

    Howard said the first big film she had was Devil's Advocate with Keanu Reeves. Howard asked if she had gone to acting school. Charlize said she took some acting classes. She said that she was only 19 in that film. She said she worked with a woman in some classes at an acting school. She said it was very useful. she said she didn't know who to break down a script.

    Howard said that he really liked The Devil's Advocate. Howard said she played someone who went nuts. Howard asked if she ever watches it. Charlize said she's seen it enough. Howard asked if she ever sees herself thinking that she could have done better. Charlize said she does that all the time. Howard said he thinks she did really well in that. Charlize said that's very sweet. Howard said that she had to audition a lot for that one.

    Howard said he's only ever made one film. Charlize said that she thinks he should make another one. Howard said she seems to know what she's talking about. Charlize said she loves that movie and he should make another one. Howard said he may take her up on that.

    Howard said he liked her in Mighty Joe Young. Howard said he likes that better than King Kong. Howard said that Mighty Joe Young was more likeable than King Kong. Howard asked how she acts in a film like that. Charlize said that she loved making it because it was a technical challenge she's never had before. Howard said he loves talking apes and things like that.

    Howard asked Charlize about working with Al Pacino and Keanu in Devil's Advocate. Howard said it has to be intimidating. Charlize said they were both very supportive. She said she had known Keanu very well already because he had auditioned with her. Howard asked if either of them came on to her at all. Charlize said they didn't but maybe she's clueless to that kind of thing. Howard said maybe she is. Howard said he was telling Robin that his wife modeled and she doesn't know how much stuff happens to her because of her beauty. Howard told her the story about her high school principal coming to visit her every day while she was expelled. Charlize said that's creepy. Howard said she never had to pay for a newspaper or candy. Howard said guys must offer Charlize free stuff too. Charlize said no. She said she doesn't really know. She said she doesn't know who she is anymore.

    Howard asked who her favorite director was. Charlize said that's a tough one. She said that Monster with Patty was one of the best. She said Patty saw more in her than she saw in herself. She said that she had to go in and prove herself. She said the producer didn't know what they were making. She said that he told her she looks terrible and he freaked out about the whole thing. Charlize said she wasn't that secure with that movie. She said they were pushing the envelope with that. She said she didn't know if it was shit. She said she talked to Patty about it and she told her not to talk to this guy again.

    Howard asked Charlize if she called that guy after she won the Oscar and asked if he gets it now. Charlize said on the DVD behind the scenes he's taking credit for all of it. She said she never wants to talk to that guy again. Howard said it's amazing how everyone in Hollywood takes credit. Charlize said it's fucking annoying.

    Howard asked how she gained weight for that role. Charlize asked if she's really asking her that. She said you stop working out and she loves pasta and bread. She said she loves potato chips too. Howard said he has this discussion with his wife where he asks when they're going to get fat and just eat. Charlize said that will never happen. Howard said they'll eat fun foods some day. Howard said it'll be something he loves. Charlize said she has enjoyed it when she's done it. Charlize said just walking in and not having restrictions is great. She said it's amazing.

    Howard said Charlize had to take a pay cut to do Atomic Blonde. Howard said he hopes she has a cut of the back end. Charlize said she thought it out and she'll be fine.

    Robin asked if she had to push for that role. Charlize said she did and for someone like her to do that is tough. Charlize said she's not sure what she even makes. Howard said he's not sure what he makes. Charlize said she'll be fine and the conversation isn't even about her. She said it's about women in their industry. She said there are women who don't have the freedom.

    Howard asked how many films she makes a year. Charlize said she worked a lot last year but this year not so much. Howard asked what she does when she's not working. Charlize said she'd love to be in Bora Bora. She said that's a great place to go. She said you just don't do a fucking thing there. She said you just hang under a palm tree. Howard asked if she smokes weed there. Charlize laughed. She said she can't smoke weed anymore. she said that she becomes so uninteresting. she said she switches off. Howard asked if she has a medial marijuana card. Charlize said she doesn't but everyone around her does. She said it just happened one day where she wasn't able to do it anymore.

    Howard asked if she tried other drugs. Charlize said she would experiment. She said she tried Ecstasy. Charlize said she worried that she was done with all of that by the time she was in her 30s. She said she was just done.

    Howard said she has two kids now and she's not pining away for that. Charlize said she's in bed by 8:45 and she loves it. Howard asked when she gets up. Charlize said she's up at 6:30. Howard asked if she has breakfast. Charlize said she has a V8. Howard asked if she drinks coffee. She said she's into green tea now.

    Howard asked Charlize if she thinks that the yenta moms are all trying to get into her house. Charlize said she's not sure about that. Howard asked if she has actress friends. Charlize said she's very close to Mary McCormack. She said she likes Chelsea Handler too. She said she is the center of it all out there. She said she met Mary through Chelsea. Howard said she is the conduit. Charlize said that she thinks everyone should share everything with everyone else.

    Howard said it sounds like it's so great out there. Howard said he's just hanging out in the house. Charlize said they're hanging out by the pool while the kids are in the pool.

    Howard asked what kind of stuff she spends her money on. Charlize said she spends it on travel. She said she has lived in the same house for 20 years but she's redone it like 3 times. Howard asked if she has a nanny. Charlize said it's all her. Howard said the guys she dates have to vibe with the kids. Charlize said that she has to wait a long time. She said once she had her kids she turned into such a mom. She said her body turned off. She said she had no desire to date. Howard said he was so glad she broke up with Sean Penn. Howard said he's not pining away for her but he was so happy about that.

    Howard asked why she did the Vin Diesel movie. Charlize said she has a great relationship with people at Universal Studios. She said she has her over all deals there. She said she has an office there at Universal. She said she doesn't go there every day but there are people she works with who are there every day. Howard asked if they're by Seth Rogen. Charlize said that they're near the Ted statue. Howard said she worked with Seth MacFarlane. She said she did. She said she had to go do something fun and she had to do the film with Seth.

    Howard asked how she broke her teeth on this film. Charlize said she was clenching her teeth and she cracked her teeth doing that. Howard said the lesbian scene shocked him in the film. Charlize said she didn't think anything would shock Howard at this point.

    Howard asked if this was the best shape she's ever been in. Charlize said it was. She said that she did a lot of training.

    Howard said that this was a graphic novel before it was a film. Howard asked how she got into it. Charlize said they were looking for something like this and they wanted a female character that could function like a guy. Howard asked how long she trained. Charlize said she did that for 2 and a half months. Howard asked if she didn't do a lot of gun training with Keanu. She said she had done a lot for Mad Max. She said she doesn't like guns. She said she isn't a big gun person. Howard said that movie is full of that stuff. Charlize said the end sequence was turned into a big gun battle from just a small scene.

    Howard asked how she did the working out. Charlize said she would go to a gym after dropping the kids off. Howard asked what she wears when she's training. Charlize said that there's video of her training. She said it's not pretty. Howard asked how many hours she trains. Charlize said it's 3-4 hours. She said she did dialect to learn all of that too. Howard asked if she had good abs. She said there's a close up of them and even she was like ''fuck!'' Howard said he'd go to see it just for the 8 pack. Howard said he loves this type of movie. He said he thinks it's going to do very well. He said it's a super hero movie. Charlize said it's not a super hero movie. She said this is a woman who is completely capable. she said she's not flying from a wire. She said she's doing hand to hand combat. Howard said she's an incredible fighter and all of that.

    Howard said it's hot. Charlize said that's funny. Howard said he has to be funny because he doesn't have looks. Charlize told him to stop with that. She said he doesn't need to do that. Howard said he's in therapy all the time. He said he thinks he's a lot better but he's been extremely distant and he has to work on that. Howard said that's why he was asking about trauma. Robin asked what traumatized him. Howard said being called a moron every day. Howard said he can't out traumatize her. Charlize said sometimes smaller things can be more traumatic. Howard said he agrees.

    Charlize said she has heard Howard's father ordering Rochford cheese. Howard did his impression of his dad ordering and Charlize said that's amazing. Howard said he wanted to be a better father too so that's another reason he went to therapy.

    Charlize asked if he feels more distant now. Howard said he feels he's in a lot better place. He said he's a lot more connected. He said today it was about Charlize. He said he couldn't' have done that 15 years ago. He said he would have made it about himself. Charlize said he's really interesting. she said she likes it when it's about him. She said he's a very interesting person. Charlize said that a good conversation is where you have both sides.

    Howard said she's kind of fun. He asked if she's high maintenance. Charlize said she doesn't think so. She said she might be as much as anyone else is. She said she's not an angel. She said she's tough to be around. Howard asked if she can be into a guy. She said she's not needy but she thinks when she was younger she let men get away with shit she shouldn't. She said now she thinks she's better now.

    Howard asked Charlize if she will go to the bathroom in front of a guy she's with. Charlize said she will. Howard said he thinks with her that's hot. Charlize said she won't go number 2. She said that peeing isn't a big deal to her. Howard said he won't do anything in front of his wife. He said they don't do anything in front of each other. He said they keep it hot. Charlize said that's cute.

    Howard asked when she last went on a date. Charlize said she went on one about a month ago. She said it's hard to meet guys. She said she wishes she could meet guys outside of the industry. Howard said that may not happen. He said that's where she works. Charlize said she wants to be with a guy who can climb a mountain. Howard said that guy is going to be a slacker. He said he won't be making money because he's busy climbing mountains. Charlize said she doesn't care about physical stuff. Howard said he's trying to think of who she dates. Howard said Sean Penn is kind of macho. He said that Stuart guy he's not so sure about.

    Howard said he was going to set her up with Wayne Siegel out on Long Island. Howard said he likes that she's not with anyone. Charlize said that's selfish.

    Howard asked when she went on a date and where she went. she said it was about a month ago. She said it was a great date. She said it was incredible. Charlize said this guy really impressed her. She said they went for a 9 mile hike during the night when there was a full moon. Howard said this guy is playing her. Howard asked what they did. She said they ended up going for a walk in the middle of the night. Howard asked if she was scared of cougars and werewolves at night. Charlize said not at all. Robin asked if he told her what they were going to do. She said he said they might go for a walk. She said he was super funny and it was great. Howard said he's going to get a second date. Charlize said that it was fun. She said that he is just a super cool dude. Howard said it must be a famous dude. Charlize just laughed. Howard said he'll take that as a yes.

    Howard started to wrap up and gave Charlize some plugs for Atomic Blonde. Howard said that he loved the movie. He said she did it all. Howard said it's great fun. He said it's dark but fun. Howard said he liked the lesbianism in the movie. Charlize said there's no such thing. She said she's bi-sexual in he film. Howard said he didn't get that. Howard said she's way more worked up about this woman. Howard said that other chick is something. Charlize said she's in The Mummy. Howard asked if she has to prepare for a film by being with another woman. Charlize laughed. Howard asked if she does research for roles.

    Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that Howard should watch her on Arrested Development. He said she also worked with Jason Reitman on Young Love. Howard said he used to think he should have gone and found another career. He said he didn't think he was going to make it. He said he used to make jewelry. Charlize said she didn't know that. She said she loved working with Jason. She said they did another film called Tully and it's the same team as Young Adult. she said it's Jason and Diablo Cody. Howard said he just hung up with Ralph. He gave Charlize more plugs for the movie and said she has back end in this. He said she didn't take up front. Charlize said she's playing the roulette table.

    Howard said Charlize said African American. He said people may not realize that. Howard said she's South African American. Charlize said she's not sure she wants to go with that. She said she does love America and she is from South Africa though.

    Howard asked if she was raised on a farm. She said she did have a goat as a pet. Howard asked if she's a vegetarian. Charlize said she isn't actually. She said that the goat lived his life out and his name was Bok. Charlize said that means Goat. Howard gave her more plugs and wrapped up the interview. They went to break after that.


  • Tan Mom Call. 07/21/17. 8:25am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard took a call from Tan Mom. Here's my rundown:

    Howard Takes Some Calls. 07/18/17. 10:25am
    After the break they played a Ronnie the Limo Driver bit and Mott the Hoople's ''All the Young Dudes'' before Howard came back. Howard said Odell Beckham was posting pictures of Beetlejuice on Instagram. Howard said they should post that on

    Howard said it was incredible to shake the hand of the guy who killed bin Laden. Howard said he just went in and got it done. Howard said all of that training they went through is something incredible. Howard said that the whole story is incredible. Howard said it was unbelievable. Howard said he choked up when he shook his hand.

    Howard said that was something. Fred said it's nice that he's not scarred up from that. He said so many come back and are messed up after seeing that kind of thing.

    Howard took a call from a woman who said she was married to a SEAL and that was a great interview. she said that she appreciates Howard's support of the SEALs too. Howard said her husband must have given it to her hard too. The caller said they are trained to hold their breath a long time so when they go down on you it's great. Howard said Robin never made love to a Navy SEAL. Robin said she was in the Air Force. Robin said she fucked whoever was around. Howard wondered if a SEAL will eat ass.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not sure what's better, the ass drums or the hero. Howard said they did go from one thing to the other.

    Howard took another call from a guy who said he got tears hearing that guy talk. Howard said we'll never get those people back we lost in 9/11 but this was some kind of retribution. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

    Howard said they were thinking about what to give Robert. He said that they gave him a gift bag and he was very into it. He said they're the only ones who ever gave him a gift bag. Howard said that's Baba Booey approved stuff. Howard said it's interesting that other shows don't give anything. Howard said he thinks they have a Jon Hein book and an autographed JD spoon in there.

    Howard said that he has to read Robert's book. He said he only reads on the Kindle. He said he heard that the regular books are selling and E-books are going down in sales.

    Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into the news but then Howard took a call. The caller said he saw Beetlejuice on TMZ and they were asking him about the fight that's coming up and Beet was saying he'd beat both of them. Howard said Beet was claiming he was going to represent them and fight them. He did see that.

    The caller also said he wanted to warn Richard about binge drinking. He said he got fucked up doing that stuff. He said that he was waking up early doing the beer and he ended up going down. Howard said he has talked to Richard on and off air. He said he doesn't want to be preachy or anything. Howard said he does pop his head in his office and ask how he's doing. Howard said he'll ask what's going on with the drinking and Richard will say he feels good and he has it under control.

    The caller said Richard has a kid on the way so he has to be careful. Howard said Richard is always looking for an excuse. He said Richard is one of those guys like they had on Cheers.

    Robin's News. 07/18/17. 10:40am
    Howard had Robin get to her news. Robin started her news with a story about Walmart and how they had to remove some racist words from their web site. Robin said they had a color listed as N-word brown. Robin said that product was taken off their web site.

    Howard said he wanted to talk about the Kermit the Frog firing. Robin said she wants to talk about R. Kelly too. Robin said there are people accusing him of having a cult following. Howard asked how you get that going. Robin said it might be easy when you're R. Kelly. Robin read some details about that story and people are saying they can't get a hold of their daughters and they just say they're in love with R. Kelly.

    Howard said Tan Mom is part of his cult. He took a call from Tan Mom who said she's suing the state. She said these people are going down. Howard said he read the story about how her daughter was on a field trip and she came home sun burned. Howard said he might have to sue his parents for not putting sun block on him. Howard said it's weird that tanning is always a part of her life. Tan Mom was on Speakerphone so it was hard to hear her. She said she was scrubbing her silverware and sweating so bad.

    Gary said Tan Mom sent Shuli some topless pictures. Howard said she has big pontoons. Shuli came in to show Howard the pictures. Howard said she has the biggest tits on the planet. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression and said she's going to sue the sun too. She said the sun is going down. Howard had the Sun on the phone but he gave up on it before the guy could even say anything.

    Howard said he heard that Tan Mom has a tanning bed that's 12,600 watts. Howard said that's like microwaving yourself. Howard said the sun is only 11,000 watts. Tan Mom said they have to get things going over there. Howard said okay to her. Howard asked Tan Mom about the lawsuit. Tan Mom said she wants to come up there.

    Howard asked if she has filed the lawsuit yet. Tan Mom said she hasn't. Howard said they should have her up there to announce it. Howard wondered what was going on with her phone. He said she keeps disappearing. Howard had Shuli do an impression of her walking away from the phone while she's answering questions.

    Howard wished Tan Mom luck with her lawsuit. Tan Mom told Shuli to get it together. Howard played a ''A Day in the Life of Tan Mom'' bit after letting her go.

    Howard said he likes when the phone cuts out. Shuli said whenever he calls her she's always in the middle of yelling at someone. He said he always interrupts her. Howard asked Shuli if he's going into the Hawaiian shirt look. Shuli said it's summer so he's going for it. Howard said he wants to fit into the Don Ho concert tonight.

    Howard said Tan Mom's daughter went on some trip and got sun burned and now they're all involved. Howard wondered why they have to be involved. Shuli did his impression of Tan Mom a little more before Howard let him go.

    Robin read more about the R. Kelly story and what he's being accused of. Robin had some audio for Howard to play and some audio of a woman saying she's not being brain washed. Howard said when he dated he had no ability to get a woman to do anything for him. He said he won't be starting any cult.


  • Howard's Night. 07/21/17. 8:55am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked his night. Here's my rundown:

    Howard's Evening Of TV And Porn. 07/18/17. 7:00am
    Howard started the show playing a fake Joan Rivers clip announcing who they have coming in today. They have Navy SEAL Robert O'Neill coming in.

    Howard said he was very gay yesterday. He said he had his weekly meeting with Ralph who does his wardrobe. Howard said he hardly does anything now though because he's not on TV. He said he has some Tommy John underwear and he thinks he's going from Large to Extra Large. He said Ralph brought over every bit of Tommy John underpants. He said they have different styles and he didn't realize how many they have. Howard said he was using the one that he likes. He said the one he likes has 5 different materials. He said they have an amazing assortment of products. Howard said he'd put on the underwear and prance around. He said he was walking around like he was in a gay club seeing if the guys there liked him. He said it was very gay.

    Howard said Ralph suggested he just try them on and let him know what he likes and he can order it. Howard said he liked showing them off in front of Ralph though. He said he did jerk off to some lesbian porn last night though.

    Howard said he's getting a bunch of sports underpants for when he runs. He said he's going to get rid of his large underpants collection. He said he asked Ralph if he wanted the old ones. He said he'd never do that but he figured Ralph would be honored.

    Howard said he watched the new Game of Thrones and he didn't like it that much. Howard said there's going to be a big war on the show and he's not sure how the Khaleesi can lose. He said she has 3 dragons that breathe fire. Howard said they can just breathe and they have an instant win. Howard said it's like going back to the Civil War and bringing grenades and AR's. Howard had to clear his throat so he played a Game of Thrones bit where they talked about the show not knowing names of the characters.

    Howard said the Khaleesi has the dragons and all of those ships. He said she's got to win. Robin asked how they fight her. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said they should just bow down and not fight. Robin said he's right.

    Howard said he went to Jon Hein with that and he did say there are ways to fight the dragons. Howard said that's bullshit. He said they did get locked up in a jail cell. Robin said they were just babies at the time thoguh. Howard said he didn't know that.

    Howard said he got into bed at 6:30 after beating off. He said it was a good lesbian one on YouPorn that was on their front page. Howard said it was a step mom with her step daughter and her friend. Howard said she was teaching them now to do lesbianism. Howard said the step mom was all over making out and rubbing titties with the friend. He said the step daughter catches them and gets upset. They walk outside and then they show the daughter how to do stuff. Howard said the step daughter loved it and now she's friends with the step mom. Howard said the three of them were having a party. He said he didn't get past that. He said he was done by then.

    Howard said he nodded off during Game of Thrones a few times. He said he went to bed after that and then he was up at midnight. He said he watched The Bachelorette when he got up. He said that he knows some white people don't like that they have a black Bachelorette. Howard said this girl comes form a high level family. He said she's a prosecuting attorney. He said she speaks regular English but the guy she's dating has no grammatical abilities at all. Robin said she knows who he's talking about. She said he's been bothering her for a while now. Howard said this guy can't speak. He said she can't bring him around to her father. Howard said the guy said ''I never brung a girl to my house before.'' He said that won't fly around this woman's father.

    Howard said the ratings are down 24 percent this season according to a note he got. Howard said he's not racist and he's watching. Howard said he was up at midnight watching that until 2 in the morning. He said he had his coffee this morning but it's not working yet. Robin said he has to try Bulletproof coffee and he'll be shot out of a cannon.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he ever talks to his therapist about the step sibling porn. Howard said he's too embarrassed. Howard said there's a lot he won't discuss. Howard said Robin has told him he has to talk about everything but he won't talk about that. He said he doesn't have a problem with it. He said he likes watching that premise. He said he knows it's funny so he talks about it on the show. Howard said he won't talk about it with his therapist though. He said if he wanted to have sex with his own step daughter he might talk about it in therapy. Robin asked if he's ever talked about that kind of stuff. Howard said he doesn't talk about everything in therapy. He said he's ashamed. He said he figured by now he wouldn't be jerking off.

    The caller said the step sibling thing turns him off immediately. Howard said it's all fake. He said they women are all the same age and it's just acting. He said it's ridiculous to think that it's anything else. He said he has no problem with it. Howard told the caller to leave him alone.

    Howard said he doesn't have a problem with the porn and he doesn't want to talk about it. Robin said it means he thinks he's less of a... Howard said he has no problem with it. Howard said he won't tell him he even watches the Bachelorette. Howard said it's not a problem. He said he doesn't talk about giving Ralph an underwear show. He just talks about things he has a problem with. The caller wished Howard luck with that.

    Robin said the point is that he can't talk about it with his therapist. Howard said that guy is intellectual and doesn't even watch TV. Robin said he's interested in being something in his eyes and living up to some standard that he can't live up to. Howard said Robin is the only person who ever got cured by a therapist. Robin said she used to talk about sex with her therapist. She said she told the therapist about seeing a movie and the movie had a lesbian theme. Howard asked if this is the therapist who ran out of the room crying. Robin said that didn't happen. Howard said he was just kidding. Robin said the therapist wanted to go with the lesbian thing. Robin said she isn't a lesbian and she didn't go down that road. Howard said he's not going to explore that kind of thing either. He said he likes chicks.

    Phone Calls And More. 07/18/17. 7:20am
    Howard took a call from a guy who wished Fred a Happy ''Burfday.'' Howard said he must be a black guy. Howard said it's Birthday, not Burfday. Howard asked him to spell it for him. Howard asked where he got the U from. The caller was laughing and saying he knows the word. Howard said the black guy on The Bachelorette could get the girl if he polished up his grammar.

    The caller said he was calling to talk about Ralph being a great friend. He said walking around in his underwear in front of Ralph would be the best video ever. Howard said Ralph vomited. The caller also asked about the song they had in Game of Thrones. Howard said he missed half of it. He said he fell asleep. He also didn't want to ruin anything with spoilers.

    Howard said that he should do commercials for Tommy John. Howard said he would have like 10 million people show up for an underwear show.

    Howard said he's really excited about his guest today. He said this guy is a tough guy. He said this guy was part of the SEAL Teams that killed bin Laden. Howard said he could spend 10 hours learning about the training alone. Howard said he couldn't survive that. Howard said guys like this are the guys who should be rock stars. Howard said Robin should give him a lap dance today. Robin said she was thinking about how they call actresses brave when they don't wear makeup in a movie. Robin said this is a brave man. Howard said Robin has to do something for him. Howard said Fred has agreed to blow him already.

    Howard said he has to take a break. He said when they come back they have to give away some Guns N' Roses tickets. Howard said they have a special concert at the Apollo on Thursday. Howard said they're going to air it on Howard 101. He said they have two people playing for tickets today. He said they have a Guns N' Roses contest going on. He said they developed a whole game around it. Howard said people are asking him if he's going to be there. Howard said the answer is no. He said he can't stay up that late. He said he's such a puss. Howard said they're slated to go on around 10 o'clock and he can't stay up that late. Howard said he wants to see them but he doesn't think he could stay awake. Howard said he was in bed at 6:30 last night. He said if they had it at 3:30 in the afternoon he'd be fine. Howard said you'd think he could rally for one night but he can't.

    Howard asked if Axl has ever played at lunch time. He said it broke his heart not to go. He said Scott Greenstein sent him a personal invite. Howard said he can't make it though. Robin said she's seen them live before and it was one of the greatest concerts she's ever seen. Howard said he just can't do it. He said he'd miss 3 weeks of radio work if he did go. He said he can't do that.

    Howard said he can't miss a day or he has to make it up. He said he owes SiriusXM 112 days a year.

    Howard said one of the contestants got his first blow job on line at a Guns N' Roses concert. Fred played a woman giving oral. Howard wondered who that was. Gary said that's Aurora Snow. Gary said the dad was on the show and he got mad that they played the clip. Howard said that's her acting though. Gary said he knows that. Howard asked why the guy would get mad at him. He said he didn't want to get into it anyway. Howard said the other contestant drove up from Florida yesterday because he wants to go to the concert. Howard said he really has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Zach's Penis Problems. 07/21/17. 9:30am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard gave some advice to a guy with premature ejaculation problems. Here's my rundown:

    Charlize Theron Preview. 07/19/17. 7:00am
    Howard started the show playing a fake Gary the Conqueror clip where he announced who they had coming up on the show. They have Charlize Theron coming in. Robin asked why Gary was so happy. Howard said he's happy because he doesn't worry about anything.

    Howard told Robin the proper pronunciation of Theron. He said people have been saying it wrong. Howard said she has a new movie out called Atomic Blonde. He said it has everything in it. Howard said it's like John Wick because it's the same guy who made those movies. Howard said he loves the John Wick stuff. Howard said he loves the killing for no reason. He said there's no plot but he loves it. He said Atomic Blonde is great because Charlize is so good looking. He said she'll be in there and they'll talk to her about a lot of things.

    Howard said he caught himself changing clothes 3 times this morning. He said he had an outfit on and he caught himself in the mirror. He said he never ends up wearing the stuff because Ralph picked it out and didn't see it on him. He said if it was a normal day it would be fine. Howard said he tried on a second outfit and then a third. He said he put on the Guns N' Roses t-shirt with a scarf.

    Howard said he has to confess something. He said he wrote some notes to Jon Hein and Jason and he keeps a pad by his bed to remind himself to do stuff. Howard said he was running his finger around his nose and he felt hair in his nose. He said he didn't clip them over the vacation. He said he has to get in there deep and he didn't do it for 2 weeks. He said he had to go trim the hair. He said it was almost a moustache. Howard said he realized Charlize was coming in and he's no trying to attract her but he did want to look his most handsome.

    Howard said he went back upstairs and trimmed the hair. He said it was hitting into hair like crazy. He said he just wanted to look his least repulsive. Howard said it's so disgusting. Howard said he feels like he would have left it like it was if she wasn't coming in today. Howard said he went from a 2 to a 3 with all of that. He said it was a good transformation day for him.

    Howard said he doesn't want to carry on too much about how good looking Charlize is. He said sometimes he loses control.

    Howard said when Letterman used to have Charlize on she'd come out dressed really sexy. Howard said Letterman would go bonkers for her. Howard said Letterman just wasn't able to help himself. Robin said they were the worst interviews because you just heard Letterman trying to get her to laugh.

    Howard said his strategy is to talk to her as a human being. He said every interview with her the guy fawns over her. Howard said he's going to try to avoid that. Howard said that's a good strategy. He said that's the way a man should be around her. Howard said his wife is hot and he knows it. He said people paid her to model. He said that means you're good looking. He said she describes a life that is so bizarre to him. He said she was once telling him about how disappointed she was with herself for getting expelled from high school for getting drunk at the prom. Howard said she told him this and then she said that the principal rode over on his motorcycle every day to check on her. He said she said it in a very normal way. He said he told her that was weird. Howard said it's not normal. Howard said she was modeling in high school. Howard said Beth will tell him this but not in a bragging way. Howard said she doesn't realize why the guy was so upset. Howard said she didn't have this dynamic personality. He said he needed something like that in high school. He said he could have been in the hospital with cancer and the principal wouldn't have cared.

    Robin said she read the story about Miranda Kerr having to give back millions in jewelry because some guy stole it to give it to her.

    Howard said Beth told him that she gets a free newspaper from a guy in a store. He said he has to pay full price but the guy gives it to Beth for free. Howard said Charlize Theron has to get that kind of stuff too.

    Robin said there was a woman on Letterman telling him that she gets proposed to all the time even on the first date.

    Howard said there were guys he knew growing up who weren't that good looking but they were getting women. Howard said he was working too hard to get laid with ugly women. Howard said he went to an ugly girl party. He said he has told that story. He said it was an AZA party. Robin asked if it's still in existence. Howard said it was for young Jewish kids. He said the Jewish male and females had their own groups and they'd go to parties. Howard said the girls weren't that hot. Howard said it was bottom of the barrel type stuff. He said it was like ''Oh my god I can't believe this is my life.'' kind of stuff. Howard said he would smoke and figured that would attract a female. Howard said he thought it was cool to do that.

    Howard said meanwhile the cigarette was the only one talking to him. He said even fat chicks didn't come over to talk to him. Howard said he must have really looked bad. He said he must have looked like a burn victim. He said he considered going to a burn victim party.

    Advice For A Premature Ejaculator. 07/19/17. 7:15am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a hard core premature ejaculator. Howard asked how old he is. The caller, Zach, said he's 25. He said he's been going to a lot of prostitutes. Howard said that's way too dark. Howard asked what he pays. Zach said he gets the ugly $50 ones. He said he can find them on the internet. Howard asked how he meets them. Zach said he goes there or they come to him. He said it depends on the girl. Howard said he'd never give a hooker his address. Robin said Howard has a nice house. Howard said maybe Zach has nothing worth stealing.

    Howard asked if he just gets laid or a blow job. Zach said he gets a good 20 minutes. Howard said they must be nasty looking. Zach said they are gnarly. He said some have nice bodies. He said he has had some fat ones too. Howard asked if he cums fast with them. Zach said it's like in a second. He said as soon as he touches a woman he's finished. Howard asked if he wears a condom. Zach said he does especially with prostitutes.

    Howard said he has been known to cum really fast too. Howard said he has been with women who are so sexy and sexual that he goes into them and before there's one stroke he cums. He said there are some women he'd get a good groove going with. Howard said there is nothing wrong with them. He said his wife is one he can get that groove going with. Howard said maybe Zach needs to find a woman like that. Zach said he can slow it down after the 4th time or so. He said he's halfway decent looking. Howard said he has a picture of him and he looks like Fafa Fooey. Howard asked if those are his sisters in the picture. Zach said they are. He said they're twins. Howard said they're fucking hot. Howard told him to put them on the phone. Zach said they are even more into Howard than he is. He said they're in Philadelphia.

    Howard asked if he thinks about his sisters at all. Zach said no but he has lost a bunch of friends over them. He said he had a good friend who wanted to get them pregnant. He said they're moving to L.A. in August and they're going to try the acting thing. Howard said they're going to get eaten up in L.A. Howard said as soon as Pauly Shore gets a hold of them they're done.

    Howard asked Zach if he thinks that they would get into porn. Zach said no way. He said they're not like that at all.

    Howard asked Zach about the prostitutes again. Zach said he was trying to find a girl online and he found a good looking tranny and he was going to go for it. He said he was just going to go for it. Zach said he shows up to this trailer park and this big fat Mexican guy was there in a bra and panties and a wig. He said he just got in his car and drove away. Howard said he's never been horny enough to fuck a dude. Zach said the pictures looked really good. He said he knows Howard has had some in there who look good. Howard said he guarantees he'd last a long time with that dude. Zach said he might last 30 seconds.

    Howard asked if a tranny charges any less. Zach said this one was like $50. He said he was on ecstasy that night. He said he was ready for anything. Howard said imagine showing up to that guy in a bra and panties. Howard did an impression of the guy's voice. Howard said it's like seeing Jason Kaplan in a bra and panties. Howard had Fred do his voice for the guy. Fred did his Herman Munster/Nicole Bass voice.

    Zach said she looked a little bit like High Pitch Erik. Howard asked what advice he can give. Zach said he was hoping they could get him a Real Doll or something so he doesn't have to go to prostitutes. Howard said he has a good sex life with his wife but he supplements it with jerking off. Howard said he had sex with his wife on Saturday and on Sunday and Monday he jerked off. He said he might get lucky tonight with his wife. Howard said he has a whole routine. Howard said he enjoys porn so much. He said he wouldn't want a Real Doll. Howard said watching porn and all of that is enough for him. He said he wouldn't get a Real Doll. Zach said he has a crazy sex drive. Howard said he used to jerk off 3 or 4 times a day.

    Howard asked if Zach plays guitar or anything. Zach said he writes fiction. Howard said chicks don't care about that. He asked what he does for a living. Zach said he's a dish washer. Howard said there's nothing that turns a girl off more than that. Howard said no one is into that. Howard said he had the same life. He said he worked into something else. Robin asked what Zach tells the women he does. Zach said he tells them he's a chef. He said it doesn't matter though. He isn't getting any women.

    Howard said dish washers get Mexican women with cocks. Fred did his tranny voice again. He had Howard cracking up with that. He spent a couple more minutes doing the impression and cracking Howard up.

    Howard said he likes that the Mexican chased after Zach. Howard said maybe they can try something. He said he has another premature ejaculator on the phone. Howard took the call from Jim (one of the guys in the back office) who was cumming as soon as he said hello to Howard. He was cumming multiple times.

    Howard said it is a problem. He said he knows what it's like to be quick on the draw. Howard asked if he has ever seen his sisters nude. Zach said not even close. Howard said stay away from that. Zach said they are pretty close. He said they grew up in a crazy family. Zach said his sisters got the good genes. He said he ended up looking like Baba Booey. Howard said sometimes the girl doesn't get the good genes and they have a really tough life.

    Zach said he wrote them a letter saying that he'd bang Siobhan but he'd have to take a boner pill first. Howard asked if he smokes weed. Zach said he used to do a lot of drugs but not anymore. He said he smokes and drinks but not very much. He said he's pretty sober now. Howard said he needs to get a life and get some interesting hobbies. He said maybe he'll meet some chicks that way. He said his life is too dark.

    Howard said he paints now and he meets people because of that. He said he went to a drawing class and you can meet chicks at things like that. Robin said maybe animal rescue.

    Gary said he wrote them a letter and he was on some hard core drugs that would make him last longer. Zach said he had a girlfriend for a while because he was able to last like an hour being on opiates. Howard said that's perfect. Howard said there's a lot of positive things about drugs that you don't read about.

    Howard told Zach to stay away from hookers. He said he seems like a good dude. He said it's a dark place to go. Zach said it's tough. He said he has those days where he's going to pay the quick hundred bucks. Howard said it's a dark path. Robin said maybe he can't give it up. Howard said he'll be fine. Howard said he's not sure what to tell him. He said all guys are in the same boat. Howard said that's unless you're really good looking.

    Howard said he was watching some Joe Walsh videos the other day and he used to get really drunk and he'd be unintelligible. He said chicks were fucking him left and right though. Howard said he has to go find a life and chicks will work their way in there.

    Howard said he can hold out for Beth. He said he can give her a good 5 or 6 minutes. Howard said if you spend more time than that the women get annoyed. Zach asked if he cums faster when she's on top. Howard said he has his positions that he can last longer with. He said he has a system worked out where he can give her a good time. Howard said it's that or do something drastic like go with that Mexican guy. Howard let Zach go a short time later. Howard said he knows he's not much help.

    Howard said he should take a break. He said he has a lot of people on the phone and a bunch of stuff to get to. Howard asked if he has to break. Fred said they have a lot of pre-records. Howard said he wants to take a break but he's not motivated. He said it kind of slows him down when he takes a break. Robin said she could tell his coffee had kicked in this morning when he started. Howard said it may have worn off already.

    Howard said he got a ton of email about cutting off the Caitlyn Jenner song ''50 Ways to Cut Your Cock Off.'' He said he may get to that later. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.


  • Guns N' Roses Ticket Contest. 07/21/17. 10:15am
    Next on today's replay show they played the Guns N' Roses ticket contest. Here's my rundown:

    Guns N' Roses Trivia Contest. 07/18/17. 7:40am
    After the break Howard came right back and started the Guns N' Roses Ticket Contest. Howard said they have a couple of contestants playing for tickets to the show this Thursday. Howard said the guys are Anthony and Tyler. Howard said Anthony knows a lot about Guns N' Roses but he says Tyler knows even more. Anthony said he thinks that the new bucks are going to run away with this. Howard asked if he's trying to lull him into a comfort. Tyler said he thinks that's what's going on.

    Howard said Anthony from Florida claims he once shit his pants on his way to a Guns N' Roses concert. Robin asked if that's Richard in disguise. Howard said it's not. Howard said Robin once shit her pants on a run. Robin said she was returning home from a run. Howard asked Anthony what he did with his underwear. Anthony said the shit pooled up in his buddy's seat. He said he went to the concert and bought new pants. He said he changed out and came out. Anthony said it was one of the hottest days in Pittsburgh. He said they were spraying the audience with a fire hose and he ended up cleaning up with that hose. Howard said please don't shit your pants at the Apollo. Howard said Anthony drove up from Florida yesterday and he's 44 years old. He works in Real Estate.

    Howard said Tyler is from New Jersey and he's been a big Guns N' Roses fan since he was in the womb. Howard said he's been to 37 Guns N' Roses concerts. Howard asked him to tell them about the blow job he got in line. Tyler said he was talking to a girl in line and one thing led to another. He said the line backed up and she takes him into an alley and started making out. Then she started blowing him. He said what fucked it up was a critter that came out from under the dumpster. He said the thing came out behind his leg. He said he went soft immediately and she just gave him the pat and walked off. Howard asked if she was hot. Tyler said she was hot. He said he hasn't spoken to her since then. Howard said Tyler is a pizza delivery guy and he's 24. Tyler said he's a musician too.

    Howard said they have all kinds of categories and stuff to get to. Howard said they are playing for tickets to this concert. Howard said they have trivia and then they'll move on to a second category. He said he'll tell them about it when they get there.

    Howard started with Anthony and asked what band Guns opened for when their album Appetite for Destruction came out. Tyler got the answer right after Anthony got it wrong. It was Aerosmith.

    Howard asked Anthony what town Axl grew up in. Anthony guessed it was Waco Texas. Tyler knew it was Indiana. He didn't get the town.

    Howard asked Anthony which music legend Slash caught in bed with his mom. Anthony got it wrong with Waylon Jennings. Tyler got it right with David Bowie.

    Howard asked Anthony what name Axl went by until he was 17 years old. Anthony said Butch. Howard said he's wrong. Tyler said it was Bill Bailey and got it right.

    Howard asked Anthony what label released Appetite for Destruction. Anthony got it right with Geffen.

    Howard asked Tyler what song is their only number 1 song. He got it right with Sweet Child O' Mine.

    Howard asked Anthony who owns the band's songs. Axl was the right one and he got it right. Howard asked Tyler about a restaurant that Duff owns. Neither guy got it right.

    Howard said now it's the Asian Pete category. He said this is the first question for Anthony. Howard said he'll play a clip of Pete singing a Guns N' Roses song and he has to identify which song it is. Howard played a clip and Pete was singing something that was unintelligible. Anthony guessed it was ''Feces, Feces.'' Howard played the song for Tyler. Tyler guessed it was Paradise City. It was ''It's So Easy.''

    Howard went back to Anthony who is losing 2-4. Howard said that Pete is going to sing another song. Howard played the clip and Anthony guessed it was ''Mr. Brownstone'' and got it right. Howard had fake Slash on the phone and said that if Anthony wins they won't let him in because he sounds like a total dick head.

    Howard played a clip of Asian Pete singing for Tyler. Tyler guessed it was ''Sweet Child O' Mine'' and got it right.

    Howard said they have one more. He played the clip for Anthony. Anthony guessed it was ''November Rain'' and got it right.

    Howard said that it's 5-4 now. Howard said Tyler has 5 and Anthony has 4. Howard said he's going to give Tyler one more. Howard played the clip and Tyler guessed Pete was singing ''Patience.'' He was wrong. Howard said it was ''Coma.'' Tyler said that's not a popular song. Howard said he'll give him one more chance.

    Howard took a call from fake Duff and he said that if Anthony wins he's breaking up the whole band again.

    Howard played a clip for Tyler and Tyler guessed Pete was singing ''Paradise City.'' He was wrong. Anthony guessed ''Patience.'' He was right. Howard said it's a great song. Howard said the score is tied now.

    Howard said this game is exciting. Howard said this category is finish the lyric. He said they can just recite it and not write them down. Howard said he's going to play a Guns N' Roses song and ask them to complete the lyric. Howard said he's going to Tyler first. Howard played the clip and Tyler was able to get the lyrics right.

    Howard went to Anthony and played him a song. Anthony was unable to complete the lyrics. Howard said he's wrong and that was horrible. Howard asked Tyler if he knows it. Tyler asked him to play it again. After hearing it he got the lyrics right. Howard said this guy knows his shit.

    Howard said he's smelling another blow job in his future. Robin asked if he gets more than one ticket. Howard said he gets 2. Anthony was up there alone so he said he'd take Tyler with him. Howard asked Tyler who he'd take. Tyler said he has a friend named Tyler who he will take.

    Howard played another song for Anthony and asked him to complete the lyrics. He got that right. Howard said look at him coming on strong. Howard played another one for Tyler after that. Tyler got that one right. Howard said look at this guy. He said they're good. Howard said Tyler is winning 8 to 6.

    Howard took a call from fake Steven Adler who said this guy Anthony blows. He said they should sit him in the Douche Bag section.

    Howard said these boys are playing for tickets to the Guns N' Roses concert. Howard said they have 1500 seats at the Apollo. Howard said it's going to be broadcast live on Howard 101.

    Howard said he has the Boston Bomber on the phone. He took that call and that guy said this guy Anthony sounds like a real dick. He said he's going to blow himself up.

    Howard said now Gary Dell'Abate is going to walk in with his trumpet and play a Guns N' Roses song. Howard asked Gary to tune up a little bit. Gary did that and Howard cut him off. Howard said Gary is going to play a song and Anthony has to guess what song it is. Gary played a song and it wasn't identifiable. Howard asked what song it is. Anthony said ''It's so Easy.'' He was wrong. Howard asked Gary to play it again for Tyler. Anthony said Howard should see what Gary does to that mouth piece. Gary said the guys in the back were saying this guy is the worst guy who they've ever had up there. Anthony said he doesn't think before he speaks and he doesn't really care. Howard said he has a deaf guy on the phone. That guy said between the trumpet and Anthony he's going to hang himself.

    Howard had Gary play a song for Tyler. Gary tried playing one and Tyler got it wrong. It was ''Knockin' On Heaven's Door.'' Howard said Gary should form a band with Asian Pete. Howard wondered what that would sound like. Howard said maybe he can put that together. He had Pete singing and Gary playing trumpet over him. Howard asked how many years of trumpet Gary took. Gary said it was 4th through 7th grade.

    Howard said he has Axl Rose on the phone. He picked up on fake Axl and he said he hates this guy Anthony too.

    Howard had Bobo on the phone and Bobo was calling Anthony a douche bag. Anthony said Bobo is so stupid he moved to the middle of the state instead of a coast where there's water in Florida. He said he's dead smack in the middle of the state.

    Howard said the score is still 8 to 6. Howard said Tyler is winning. Howard had Gary play trumpet to another song. Gary played something and Tyler guessed it was ''Welcome to the Jungle.'' He was right.

    Howard said the score is 9-6 and Gary has one more song. Gary tried to play another song for Anthony. Anthony said that was ''Sweet Child O' Mine'' and he was right.

    Howard said Tyler has 9 and Anthony has 7 now. Howard said he's going to have Richard and Sal come in now. He said his category is going to be tough. He said Richard is going to drum on Sal's naked ass. He said he'll play a Guns N' Roses song on his ass. Howard said they'll have to look at Sal's asshole. Sal said they'll have to look at his penis.

    Howard said here we go. Howard went to Anthony first. Howard had Richard drum on Sal's ass. Richard played a song and Anthony guessed it was ''Paradise City'' and he was right. Howard had Richard drum along to the real song. Howard asked how his ass smells. Richard sniffed and Sal said he shit this morning. Richard said he can see dingleberries.

    Howard said now it's 9-8 and it's Tyler's turn. Howard had Richard drum on Sal's ass. Tyler guessed he was playing ''It's So Easy'' and got it right. Howard said Sal's ass is really red.

    Howard said the score is 10-8. Howard said this is the last one. Howard had Richard drum one last time on Sal's ass. Richard did his thing and Sal asked him to move a little bit. Howard said it's really red. Sal said he won't move his hands. Richard said he was hitting the best sounding part of the drum. Anthony guessed it was ''Mr. Brownstone'' but it was actually ''Rocket Queen.'' Howard said Tyler won.

    Howard said he has a douche bag on the phone. That guy said Anthony was killing it today. He told him to keep cracking all of those great jokes.

    Howard said Anthony gave it a good run today. He said Tyler is going to the concert on Thursday. Howard said they have to give Anthony one last shot. He said he'll give him tickets if he gets it right. Sal said he has to hold his foreskin to do it. Anthony said no way that's happening. Richard drummed on Sal's ass one more time. Anthony guessed it was ''Mr. Brownstone.'' He got it right. Howard said he's going to give him tickets too.

    Howard said everyone goes to the concert. Howard said they won't sit Tyler near Anthony... or maybe they will.

    Howard thanked Sal and Richard for that. Richard said his thumb went in Sal's ass crack. He has to go wash it. Sal dared him to lick his thumb and he did it. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.

    Today's show was over around 10:55am.

-- Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Back Live - Two Week Vacation Recap. 07/17/17. 7:00am
    • Remembering Martin Landau. 07/17/17. 7:15am
    • Ronnie In Vegas Stories. 07/17/17. 7:25am
    • Howard's Game Of Thrones Confusion. 07/17/17. 8:45am
    • July Birthdays. 07/17/17. 9:15am
    • A Bobo Update. 07/17/17. 9:20am
    • New Phony Phone Call And Howard's Planet Of The Apes Screening. 07/17/17. 9:40am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 07/17/17. 10:00am
    • Shia LaBeouf Meltdown Clips. 07/17/17. 10:15am
    • Robin's News. 07/17/17. 10:25am
    • Howard's Evening Of TV And Porn. 07/18/17. 7:00am
    • Phone Calls And More. 07/18/17. 7:20am
    • Guns N' Roses Trivia Contest. 07/18/17. 7:40am
    • Navy SEAL Robert O'Neill Visits. 07/18/17. 8:25am
    • Phony Phone Call And High Pitch Erik Streaming. 07/18/17. 8:25am
    • Navy SEAL Robert O'Neill Visits. 07/18/17. 8:55am
    • Robin's News. 07/18/17. 10:25am
    • Charlize Theron Preview. 07/19/17. 7:00am
    • Advice For A Premature Ejaculator. 07/19/17. 7:15am
    • Howard's Doody Routine. 07/19/17. 7:45am
    • The PTC And FCC Fines. 07/19/17. 7:50am
    • A Benjy Update. 07/19/17. 8:20am
    • Blac Chyna And Rob Kardashian. 07/19/17. 8:35am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 07/19/17. 8:45am
    • Charlize Theron Visits. 07/19/17. 9:00am
    • Charlize Theron Recap. 07/19/17. 10:35am
    • Robin's News. 07/19/17. 10:45am
    • Thursday Replay Show. 07/20/17. 7:00am
    • Robert O'Neill. 07/20/17. 7:00am
    • Howard's Screeners & More. 07/20/17. 8:20am
    • Staff Vacation Recap. 07/20/17. 8:50am
    • High Pitch Erik's Live Cam. 07/20/17. 10:35am

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