- Summer Vacation Replay Special - Day 3. 08/21/19. 7:00am
Every summer Howard takes a couple of weeks off in August. They're off for two weeks. Over these two weeks they'll be playing interviews and various segments from the past few years. Here's what they played on today's show:
- Kanye Clips And Elvis - October 17, 2018. 08/21/19. 7:00am
First on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about how wacky Kanye West and Elvis were. Here's my rundown from that day:
Social Media Ruining The World Featuring Kanye West. 10/17/18. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking about how he's in the mood to sing. He did for about 2 seconds. He said he has a beautiful picture of him and Rob Zombie when they recorded the song ''The Great American Nightmare.'' He said they stood there and recorded this epic song. He said everyone knew there was an energy in the room and it would be a big hit. He said look at the amount of air play it gets. He said it gets played somewhere every day in this country. He said it's on this show but it gets played.
Howard said he's edited out of the song for the most part. He said he was told to sing it like he talks on the air and he tried to do it like Rob does and it was a disaster. He said he'd like another try recording a song with a star. He said even with Rob he'd do another one. He said that he wants another chance in the studio to have a hit song. He said this was his chance. He said it's a good song though.
Howard thanked Rob for putting up with him that day. He said he tried to help him do it but he just wasn't able to get that growl that Rob has. He said it was a big mistake leaving Robin at home that day. He said maybe she could have helped. Howard said Rob was gazing at him like he was Lady Gaga. He said no artist has ever brought him into the inner sanctum. He said he performed this song on MTV during the Private Parts premiere. He said Rob told him to put some talcum powder in his hair that night. He said he did it. He said what a day that was.
Howard said he didn't get to see his movie wife's new show last night. He said Mary McCormack played his wife in Private Parts and she has a new show. He said he has to watch it because he's loyal to her. Robin said she is too. She said she watches everything she does.
Howard asked what day it is. He said it's Wednesday and he made it. He said he's not sure what's going on with him. He said he's trying his best. Robin asked to do what. Howard said to keep it all together. He said he was with the therapist yesterday and that helped. Robin asked if he feels that the edges are slipping away from him. Howard said yes. He said he's down to 2 days a week and his therapist doesn't think that's good for him. He said he is making progress though.
Howard said he was reading an article about Chrissy Teigen and she said she really does care what trolls think. He said people claim they don't but they really do. He said the thing that has changed the world is social media and not for the better.
Howard said they have clips of Kanye West from after his White House visit. He said that things have changed but celebrities have always been nuts. He said Elvis visited Nixon in the White House. He said he was kind of the Kanye West of his day. He said there was one picture and there was no social media. He said Kanye is bat shit crazy but they bring in reporters and they cover every bit of it. He said Elvis was probably just as nuts. He did his Elvis impression and goofed on him. He said he was running around in a cape like he was a super hero. He said that Elvis used to rub the fat on his mother's neck. He said that's how nuts he was.
Howard said Elvis shot his TV once because he didn't like what was coming out of it. He said now they have Kanye. He said after the White House thing he got on Facebook and did a live video feed. He said if Elvis had Facebook, forget about it. Howard played the clip of Kanye where he was talking about mind control and social media. He said that you have things taken down that you post because it doesn't go along with the agenda. He also claims he has a 130 IQ.
Howard said he has to see that IQ test. He said that his father used to tell his grandfather that he had 3 million bucks in the bank. He said that's probably what they did with Kanye. He said that Elvis was crazier than Kanye. He said he wore purple velvet with a gold belt to go meet Nixon. He said he had a gun on him too. He said there was no tape recorder in the room. He said he was telling him he was anti drug but he was a drug addict. Howard said a couple of days later Elvis was driving around trying to do drug busts on his own. He said imagine if he had Facebook back then. He said that he would have been ridiculed like Kanye is.
Howard said all kids hated Nixon for sending them off to die. He said Elvis loved the guy. Howard did more of his Elvis and Nixon impressions. He had the two talking about the drug thing and how Elvis was dressed as Barney the dinosaur. He had Elvis telling Nixon about how he paralyzed a woman's tittie by hitting her with a pool cue.
Howard said Elvis makes Kanye look normal. Fred played some Elvis music and Howard sang ''Can't Help Falling In Love'' about falling in love with Nixon. Howard said Nixon let him in there. He said if Elvis had Facebook it would have been awesome.
Howard played more of Kanye rambling on Facebook. Howard said it's great when the dumbest guy in the room thinks he's the smartest. Howard said he knows he's an idiot. He played more of Kanye going on and on. Howard said he guarantees he has an average IQ. He said he's probably smarter than Sal though. Howard did more Elvis and sang another song with Fred playing the music for him. Howard had Elvis making crazy claims. He had him with his own Facebook channel. He was doing it like he was living today and had social media. He was farting and splitting his jump suit in half too.
Howard said imagine if he had his own Facebook. He said he would have made Kanye West look normal. He said back then celebrities were out of their mind. He said Marilyn Monroe was out of her mind. He said if they had Facebook they would have seen every moment of it. He did his Marilyn Monroe impression and made her like Lindsay Lohan trying to steal a child. Howard said every dumb word Elvis ever said would have been documented. Fred played another Elvis song but Howard wasn't singing that one. Howard did his Kennedy impression and had them talking about doing the Devil's triangle with Marilyn Monroe.
Howard did more Elvis and said just imagine that Facebook. He had Elvis talking about rubbing the fat on the back of his mother's neck. He said that guy was so crazy. He had Elvis talking about marrying a 14 year old and how he'd unfriend you if you make fun of him on social media. Howard had him blocking people for mentioning that.
Howard said now every celebrity has access to everything and publicist are pulling their hair out of their heads. Howard played more of Kanye's wacky rant. Howard said there's a song by that band that says ''fuck you I won't do what you tell me.'' Fred said that's Rage Against the Machine. Howard played more Kanye and Robin said it sounds like he's trying to brainwash her.
Fred played the song ''Killing in the Name Of'' and Howard played Kanye over that. Robin said he might have a hit song there. Howard did his Elvis voice more and had him rambling too. He said #DieOnTheDumpster
Howard said he only wishes there was Facebook when Elvis was around. He said they would have seen every crazy thing he did. Robin said there were a lot of people they could have seen. Robin said they had movie studios to save people from themselves. Howard said now they have to feed the beast which is social media. Howard played more of Kanye's ramblings and responded to it as Elvis.
Howard made up another Elvis song and sang about it being Karate Wednesday. He told people to follow his Karate instructor on Twitter.
Robin said that Priscilla Presley says that Elvis never would have been on Facebook. Howard Elvis said he has to go make doody now. He said he has to get his Twitter followers up. He said he's lacking next to Taylor Swift. He said Colonel Tom said he'll be on Tinder later looking for pussy.
Howard had Elvis making voicemail greetings and things like that for his fans. He said that you can come back and hang with him back stage. He said his mama will be there and you can rub the fat on the back of her neck. He said you can see his limo driver's hot chick of the week on Twitter too. He said this is Officer Elvis saying Adieu.
Howard said he would have had the greatest Facebook. Robin said he was ahead of his time. Howard said it would have been great if they had a microphone on in the White House. He had Elvis selling some junk on his web site and things like that. Howard had Elvis talking about his mama's goiter and how it's in his pocket as he performs his songs for you.
Howard said he's having a special jump suit made for his mama's goiter. He said it'll have one for itself.
Howard said he thinks rock is dead because of Facebook. Robin said all stardom is dead. She said everyone tells you everything they do. Howard said they would have #MeToo'd Elvis to death. Fred played another song and Howard was going to sing another one as Elvis.
Howard had Elvis talking about how he made a woman's titties into vegetable titties. Robin didn't get that one. Howard said he paralyzed the woman's titties. Robin laughed. She said she knows that story.
Howard said that would have been a wild Facebook thing. He said that they didn't even mention the Frank Sinatra channel. He said no one beats Elvis on Facebook.
Howard said that's how Elvis maintained the mystery. Robin said that Marilyn Monroe was a mystery too. Howard said he was into Jane Mansfield. He said she was actually smart. Howard said that there is an Elvis channel there on Sirius. Robin said she can't listen to that. Howard said he can't either. He had Elvis going off on Robin about that. Robin said she was listening to the Sinatra channel the other day and thought it was cool but not Elvis.
Gary said there are some guys who do a show on the Elvis channel and they all end up crying when they tell stories about him.
Howard was still doing his Elvis voice and talking about how he likes that Emily Ratajkowski. Robin said someone told her that Kanye doesn't like Obama because Obama called him a name. Howard was still in his Elvis voice talking about Facebook and how he has to delete that and get off of it.
Howard said he likes what Fred is playing back there. Fred said it's Karaoke. He had Heartbreak Hotel playing so Howard was trying to make up some lyrics. Howard said he wishes he knew the songs so he could make something up.
Howard had Elvis announcing he has vape pens for sale. Fred started playing fart sounds over the song he had playing. Howard said he's cracking himself up.
Howard was making up lyrics to Heartbreak Hotel and singing about Taylor Swift and how he wants to be like her.
Howard said Kanye West live streams. Robin said he'll do that and then delete his account. Robin said he has to disappear for a while.
Howard Takes Some Calls. 10/17/18. 7:40am
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said Howard loves him. Howard said he must. He takes his calls every day. Mike asked if he heard about the new show Titan. Howard said it is not a good show but a great show. He said that he's only seen one episode but it's very good. He said that he didn't know what the hell it was. He said it's so fabulous. He said that it's the story of Robin of Batman and Robin. He said it's the Greysons. He said he was the ward of Batman. He said the family were working in a circus and the family fell and died. He said they may have been sabotaged. He said the show is actually called Titans with an S. He said that the show picks up when Robin has left Batman. He said he's angry at Batman. He said that Dick Greyson is a detective and he's a grown up. He said he's a youngish grown up.
Howard said the show is very good. Robin said she didn't know about it. Howard said Robin will like it. Mike said there hasn't been much press about it. He said it's very Gotham like. Howard said it really is. Mike said the best part was when he said ''Fuck Batman.'' Howard said that's enough of Mike. He told him to go call Bubba.
Robin said she was talking to Jason about the Batman where he shows his penis. Howard said they talked about that in the news one day. Howard said he's against that. Robin said maybe that's what drove Kanye crazy. Howard said he came twice when he saw that penis. He said he's not gay though. Robin asked what it had to do with the story line. Howard said he is circumcised. He said he can tell her that.
Howard said Jason has gotten so heavy that he doesn't want Robin riding the elevator with him. He said she has to use her head. Robin asked if she should just tell him that's his elevator ride and skip it. Howard said yes.
Howard took a call from a guy who was over in France calling in. He said he's studying abroad. Howard said they had a caller from Germany yesterday.
Howard said Jason told him he went on an eating tour of Italy. He said he should go on a walking tour. He said he went to a slaughterhouse and ate pig there. He said he'll talk about that some other time.
Jason came in and talked about how he was the fattest guy over in Italy. Howard said he saw old tape of early New York. He said people dressed so much nicer back then. He said it looked like Paris. He said he also noticed that everyone was thin. He said there was not one obese person. He said obesity is out of control. He said we're going to lose. He said we have to be ready. The caller said he lost 10 pounds being over there. Howard asked how old he is. The guy said he's 21. Howard said he sounds very young. Howard said Jason went to this place called Pig Island. He said he stuffed a pig with bacon and ate it. Gary said he stuffed that pig at his house. Howard said he'll talk about that later.
Howard told Jason he'll talk to him later. He asked the caller what he can do for him. The caller, Matthew, told Howard he's gay when Howard said something about studying broads after he said he's studying abroad. Howard asked him about being accepted over there and if that's working for him. Matthew said they are open minded out there. He said he grew up in San Francisco so he's used to being accepted. Howard found out he came out at 16. He said it wasn't a surprise to his dad but it was to his mom. Howard asked if he has ever gotten it on with a woman. Matthew said no. Howard said he's a gold star gay man then. Matthew said he is.
Matthew said Howard had some good advice about education. He said that he suggested being the CEO of your own education so that inspired him to do what he's doing. Howard said he'll probably become a lawyer and that's a good line of work.
Howard said he thinks this guy is a twink based on his voice. Matthew said he has been called one. Howard said he pictures him like Timothee Chalamet. Matthew said he's way off on that.
Howard asked if penis size matters to him. Matthew said not really. He said if it's big it can be too big if it's in your ass. Howard said that women say it matters. Matthew said it really depends. Robin said that it's going in different places. Howard said it's not that different. Robin said it really is. Matthew said Robin put it in her ass though. Robin said she' not going to talk about that with this guy because he's so young.
Howard said he gave this guy some advice and he took it. Howard said you have to treat your life seriously. He said that you have to get involved in your own life. He said too many people just drift through live. He said he's glad he's doing well. He thanked Matthew for calling. He let him go after that.
Robin said that's the greatest advice Howard has ever given. She said you're in charge of your life and you should have it go your way. Howard said he has no recollection of that moment on the show. He said he had no idea that he had said that. Robin asked if he saw that Dennis Hof died. Howard said he's going to do an obituary for that. Robin said they were talking about Howard in one of the articles she read. Howard said Dennis got so many guys laid. He said that he got Eric the Actor a threesome. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
- Interviews Gone Wrong - November 27, 2018. 08/21/19. 8:00am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played some audio clips of interviews gone wrong. Here's my rundown from that day:
Interviews Gone Wrong. 11/27/18. 8:10am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who said that he knows he has a million questions for Ringo but he has to ask about Hey Jude. He said there's a story that when the drums come in it's because Ringo was in the bathroom when they started it. Howard said he'll interview Ringo. He said don't tell him what to ask. Howard said that sounds ridiculous. He said Ringo didn't just run in. The caller said it's a McCartney quote. Howard said he'll ask him then. Howard said he didn't come running in to do the song. He said that makes no sense.
Howard said he has a couple of things to play. He said they're from interviews gone wrong. He said this is a collection of clips where things just didn't work. Howard said this is a pitcher from the Mets named Jacob deGrom. He said this guy Steve Summers was trying to joke around with this guy on his show and it just went wrong. Howard played the clip and Steve asked this guy if he can look at himself in the mirror after not voting for Jacob. The guy just ended the interview immediately.
Howard said he wishes his Benjy segments would last that long. He said that's about how long it takes for him to have sex.
Howard said he has another one. He said Jamie Foxx was participating in a celebrity basketball game. He said the guy from ESPN was interviewing him and Jamie left as soon as he mentioned Katie Holmes. He said he doesn't want to talk about his personal life. Howard played the clip and the guy doing the interview asked about the game and then asked about Katie and Jaime walked off without saying a word. Howard said that name is like the prophet Mohammed. He said that he doesn't want to talk about it.
Howard said Steven Seagal was doing promotion for a new movie and the anchor asked about allegations of rape against him and the interview ended immediately. Howard played that clip and Seagal walked off as soon as the woman asked about his sexual harassment allegations. Steven just walked off without saying anything.
Howard said that guy stormed out of there after that. He said what you don't see is an outline of him running right through the wall like Wile E Coyote.
Howard said Seagal is a weird dude. He said he loves his movies though. He said he loves when he whips his hands around and does those moves to get guns out of guy's hands. Robin said he's so weird looking now. Howard said in Russia he's like Tom Cruise. Robin said that's like the French thinking Jerry Lewis was a great comedian. Robin said it's like ''Really?'' Howard said that would be like putting Benjy in an action movie. He said that it's a big fat guy running around. He said he loves that kind of karate he does. He said it's Akito. Robin said it's all hands.
Howard said this is a good clip. He said on the FOX business network they have Stewart Varney. He said they had Elon Musk's brother on the show and his brother sits on the board of Tesla. He said Varney wants to talk about Tesla and Kimble Musk wants to talk about other stuff. He said this could have been handled in a different way. He said that he could have let the guy talk about what he wanted to talk about but Varney kicked him off the show. Musk kept mentioning plant a seed day in the clip and Varney wanted to talk about Tesla. He asked what's going on at Tesla and Musk kept changing the subject to the plant a seed day thing. Varney said that his viewers don't care about that. He said he won't be used and cut Kimble off.
Howard said just let the guy talk about it. He said he's not sure what went on there. He said he's Jimble Kimble Musk. He said that was a pretty good clip.
Howard said he has another clip of Tara Reid out talking about Sharknado. He said she was talking over everyone and the host. He said she seemed kind of messed up to him. He said he's not sure about that. Robin said maybe it was an audio problem. JD said she was live in the studio so that's not it. Howard played the clip and Tara was talking over Ian Ziering and the host. She was just going on and on talking over everyone while they were trying to speak.
Howard asked what makes more sense, this clip or sharks flying through the air. He played more of the audio and Tara was talking over Ian when he was asked about what he's working on now. Tara just kept rambling.
Howard said Kimble Musk is on the phone to talk about plant a seed day. He took the call from fake Kimble who was trying to talk about that but Howard was asking about the new president of the board of Tesla.
Fred's Separation, Phone Calls And More. 11/27/18. 8:30am
Robin asked if Howard would ever walk out of an interview. Howard said he went on that Bill O'Reilly show and he hates being interviewed. He said he was promoting something. He said Bill was being a dick to him. He said he was trying to paint him as an elitist but he's seen Bill at Nobu so he just sat there and mixed it up with him. He said it's kind of a pussy move to walk out. Howard said he's had people walk of their own shows because of him. He said that Jay Leno walked off his show. He said Tom Snyder did too. He said he's a guest on the show and they walk off. He said jay walked off because he had lesbians on the show with him. He said Jay had to come back on after walking off.
Howard said Bill was getting cantankerous and he said he was going to take his No Spin Zone jacket and give it to a crack whore. Howard said Amy Fisher walked out of the show. He said Richard Simmons has walked off the show too. Robin said that woman who was married to Rod Stewart walked off too. Howard said Frank Sinatra Jr. walked off without coming in. Gary said Eartha Kitt also walked off. Howard said he didn't know she was even on the show. Howard said Fred walked off the show too. Fred said he did that because of the incident at the Rainbow Room. He said they didn't know he was separated from his wife at the time. Howard said he didn't even know that now. He asked if they're back together yet. Fred said he thinks they are. Howard said Fred can be kind of non communicative at times. He said he must have put that out of his mind or he forgot. Fred said he didn't put that out at the time. Howard said he's glad he didn't bring it up. He said he has to handle his mother's calls so he has enough on his plate.
Howard asked Fred what happened with his wife. Fred said she just packed a bag and left. He said he had no idea that she was going to do that. He said he didn't date during that time she was away from him. He said he was freaking out about it. Howard said he didn't have a kid at the time, right. Fred said no they didn't. Howard said he remembers the sound effects getting angrier at that time. He said that was a dark time. He said Fred is a good dude for not bothering him with that stuff. He asked if he had friends he called at the time. Fred said he kept to himself. Robin said that's not good. She said that's why people have to pay for a psychiatrist.
Fred said that they were asked to go out to celebrate Jackie's anniversary and he and his wife were separated at the time. He said he didn't want to go but his wife did. He said they went and he was right for not wanting to do it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him about Ringo and if he would ever consider putting his daughters on the show. Howard said he was talking to them about coming on the show when they were young. He said they're pretty private now and they have jobs and stuff. He said they never resolved that conversation. He said he doesn't think they're looking for that. The caller said he'd like to get their thoughts about him off the air. Howard said if they said to him they wanted to come in. He said they'd never do it. He said he'll see if he can do that tomorrow so he can just leave. He said he doesn't think it'll ever happen. He said maybe on the last show they'll come in and say something like good job. He said he loves his kids. He said they're good kids. Howard said they had a nice thanksgiving.
Howard said he doesn't know Fred's daughter Tess. Robin said she does. She goes out with them sometimes. Fred said Tess is 16 now and she loves Robin. Robin said she invited her along to see a performance with her. She said they went to see Simona play once too. Howard said he should try to do something like that. Robin said they've had a couple of occasions to meet. She said that Tess is awesome and really sweet. Howard said that's beautiful. He said he met her when she was really little. Howard said now he has to take her somewhere that's better than what Robin did. He said he's sure it was a mediocre concert. Howard asked what she's into. Howard said he'll bring her to something. Fred said he's sure that she'd enjoy Taylor Swift. Howard said he'll bring her to her house. Howard said he'll get Ringo to perform for her if she likes the Beatles. Fred said she loves the Beatles. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
- James Corden - June 5, 2018. 08/21/19. 8:35am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a James Corden interview from last year. Here's my rundown from that day:
James Corden Visits. 06/05/18. 8:55am
After the break they played a prank call Sal made to a pizzeria placing a crazy order as a screaming coach, a High Pitch Erik clip where he talked about fucking a porn star for her 21st birthday, a fake Caitlyn Jenner song parody and Black Sabbath's ''Changes.''
Howard came back and said he has James Corden there. He said he hasn't seen him for a few years. He said they saw him when he started his late night show. Howard said he looks like he lost some weight. Robin said he was at the Royal Wedding. James said he's not thin. He said that's never the word for him. Howard said he thinks that James is one of those people who actually enjoys life. James asked what's not to enjoy. He said he's excited to be there.
Howard said he wishes he could be like him. He said James showed up early and he went out to take pictures with the 5th graders who were out in the lobby earlier. He said he'd never do that. He said he doesn't want anyone to bother him. Howard asked what happened out there. James said they were all waving through a window. He said he went to say hi and they were all really nice. Howard asked if criticism bothers him. James said of course it does. He said it stings for a while. He said then you realize it's all pretty irrelevant. Howard said he went out there once and 5th graders threw rocks at him. James said that's just not true.
Howard said he wants to understand his schedule. He said he's constantly stressed and exhausted. He said he knows it's mental. Howard said James taped two shows yesterday and then he flew to New York. He said then he does this interview and then he has an Oceans 8 premiere tonight. He said as soon as that's done he's flying back to Los Angeles. James said he tapes on Wednesday and Thursday and then he's going to London. He said they're taping something there for going to London with the show. He said he's going to do the same thing next week. Then he'll be with his family.
Howard said late night TV is a young person's game. James said he's 39. He said they shoot a lot of stuff though. He said there are easier ways to do a show. He said they do a variety show every night. Howard said that's why they get a lot of hits on social media. He said people want to see all of that stuff. James said he's good at doing those things so he takes advantage of that. He said that's where he most creatively fertile.
Howard said Les Moonves saw him in a play and he knew he was going to be his next late night host. He said he didn't hear him doing a broadcast. James said people will say 4 shows a week are tough but 8 shows a week on Broadway is really tough. James said they did like 492 shows in 20 months on Broadway. Howard asked if he knew Les was in the audience that night. James said he had no idea. Howard said Les went to see him and he was already a big deal in England. James said he didn't know how magnificent his track history was. He said he owes Les everything. He said he owes it to his vision.
Howard asked if he turned down that gig at first. James said he did. He said he turned it down a few times. He said he wasn't sure he wanted to do that. Howard said that turns Les on like nothing else. He said he played hard to get. James said it works for everyone. Howard asked why he turned it down. James said he didn't think he wanted to do that. He said he was writing a series for HBO and he was going to do another show for Broadway. He said he never thought about being a talk show host.
Howard asked if it gives him nightmares thinking he almost turned it down. James said yes. He said he (Les) also made a terrible financial offer. He said he didn't know at all. He said his agent told him it was real insulting. Howard said he could have ended up in a tenement. James said even Les would say it was too low.
James said that Les also gave them the freedom to do the show they do. Howard said if the show didn't work out and he was ruined by the whole thing then he really has no money. He said they can really ruin you.
Howard said that's some exhausting schedule he has. Howard asked if he ever crashes. James said not really. James said he doesn't drink a lot. He said that's part of it. Howard said when Andy was there he said something about him being drunk at the Met Gala. James said he wasn't though. He said he was just having a nice time and people mistake that as being drunk. He said he and his wife were together for the first time in like 3 months. He said they left the kids at home that night and it was inconceivable to him that he had that much freedom that night. Howard said he's burning the candle at both ends. James said everyone is tired. He said that his cousin is a kitchen fitter and he's tired. He said he thinks that being tired is a privilege. He said it blows his mind that this is even happening. He said if he's lucky enough to be in this industry in 10-15 years time he may have done something wrong. Howard said he thinks back to his 30s when he had all of this kind of stuff going on. James said that's the way he sees it.
Howard said James is hosting this show and he had never even appeared as a guest on a talk show. He said it wasn't part of his life. Howard said everything is about the show now. Howard asked how long he's been on. James said it's 3 years and a month. Howard asked if he'd like to keep going with it. James said he does want to keep going with it. He said he is contracted to do it but he'd like to continue with it after that.
Howard asked if he's a hero over in England because they gave him some award. James said he was named Officer of the British Empire. He said that was very nice. He said he went to a school that was awful. He said that he wasn't poor growing up but no one was betting on anyone getting anywhere from that school. He said for his mom and dad to go to Buckingham Palace that was something. He said they made unbelievable sacrifices for him growing up. He said that was the nicest thing about that.
Howard said it must be a rush. He said that it's a high honor. James said it's not the highest though. He said Benedict Cumberbatch has a higher honor. Howard said it's almost like a Kennedy Center Honor here. James said that's right. He said there are people who have done things for charities and it's a room full of people who have done great things. Howard said you're meeting people of great accomplishment.
Howard said he saw him at the Royal Wedding. Howard asked how he got in on that. He asked if Prince Harry has been on his show. James said no. He said he doesn't think that's something that any member of the Royal family would do. He said he thinks they have to protect the very thing they've got. He said they can't become celebrities. He said that he's very fond of Harry. He said they met maybe 8 or 9 years ago. He said they'd go out in the same spots in London. Howard asked if they were bars. James said yes. Howard asked if Harry has to be with secret service types. James said he does but you don't know they're there.
Howard asked if there are bars that you go to when you're famous in London. James said yes and it's the same thing as in New York. Howard said he would think it would be fun to be friends with the royal family. Howard asked if he has to seduce him like a woman. James laughed. He said he doesn't really remember. He said he will say that he is an incredibly bright and interesting guy. He said he thinks he has real plans for things he wants to do to change stuff. He said he finds it impressive. Howard said he likes his wife. He said she's hot. He asked James if he told his wife she has to be friendly to her so they can keep this thing going. James said it's not like that at all.
Howard asked James about the wedding and what goes on there. James said he's kind of nervous to talk about the after party he went to. Howard said he wore some cheerleader outfit or something. James said he didn't wear that for the whole thing. He said he did a 10 minute bit dressed as a mock tutor Henry the VIII. Howard asked if he did a dance off. James said there was no dance off. He said he's not sure where that came from. He said there was no beer pong there either. James said that there were millions of people around the world watching this wedding but at the center of it was two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together. He said that's why he isn't going to talk about it.
Howard said that the fact that Harry fell in love and is marrying shows that he must be pretty healthy mentally. James said he thinks that he's a forward thinking person who doesn't do things by halfs.
Howard asked what the hang is like with that guy. He asked what they do to hang to get to know one another. James said he's not comfortable talking about that. He said that he doesn't want to bring that stuff up. Howard said he could never hang with royalty. He said he's not going to call him Prince Harry. He said he'd just call him Harry. He said he's not good at the hang. James said he thinks Howard would be great at the hang in the right circumstances for the right amount of time.
Howard said he's genuinely trying to figure out life. He said he doesn't understand how to hang with people. James said he can tell him. He said he thinks the trick is to understand that the only thing that exists is this moment right now. He said nothing else exists. He said Howard is probably thinking about other things and the future. He said all of that is ahead of you. He said that if you just think about the right now and be the best person you are right now then your life will be one of joy. Howard said he hears what he's saying. He said he was at a dinner recently with someone famous. He said there was silence and he had to break that silence. He said he feels pressure. He said he has to keep the conversation going. He said it's like work so if he's with a prince he's going to worry about eating his soup. James said he thinks everyone worries like that.
Howard said if he's in a room with a prince what does he do? he said he doesn't understand what it's like being famous. James asked who he was out to dinner with. Howard said it was Jerry Seinfeld. He said he didn't want Jerry to be uncomfortable. James said he'd bet Jerry was thinking the same thing. Howard said life is too rough. James said that the two of them were spinning out.
Howard asked if he splits the bill with Harry. James said they've never had to do that. He said it's not an issue. Howard said it has to be an issue. James asked who gets the bill with him and Jerry. Howard said they take turns. James said it's the same thing with them. James said he'd be more nervous going to dinner with Jerry Seinfeld. He said when he's with someone who is that funny he finds his chest tighten. He said he's not going to try to say something funny ever.
Howard said what surprises him about his show is when he has two guests on he has to turn to one of them and ask a question but there's someone else there that he's ignoring. He said he'd worry about leaving them out of the conversation. James said it does make for a harder interview in one sense. He said it can be freeing too. He said the conversation can go anywhere. James said if someone else was there chipping in the conversation would go in another direction.
Howard asked James about a bit he does where they have disgusting food to eat and they can eat it or answer a question. Howard said James has played the game and he has refused to answer questions. He asked what makes a bad guest since he didn't answer that on his show. James said it wasn't that they were bad on the show but they might be late or rude or something like that. He said that's what makes for a bad guest.
Howard said James says he stole a candle from Mariah Carrey's house. James said he did but he told her he was taking it. He said they did a Carpool karaoke thing. Howard said she was the first one to do that bit. James said she was and they owe her a lot. He said that George Michael did a similar bit and she said she would do it if it was good enough for George. James said they were going to shoot at her house and he got there around 4 and at 6:30 he was still in the living room of her house. He said that this was a long amount of time to sit in someone's house. She said 20 minutes later she came down. He said she had these candles with her name on them. He said he took one and told her in the car. He said it's still in his living room.
Howard said his Carpool Karaoke thing has taken off. He asked if it's still fun to do because everyone knows what it is. James said now they do but they'll give more time and be more open to things. He said they're going to shoot one on Sunday and he can't say what it is. He said he's more excited about this than anyone else. Howard said it's Paul McCartney. James said he's not saying. Howard asked if it's Mick Jagger. James said he'll tell him later. Howard asked if it's McCartney. James said it's not what he thinks it is. Howard said he knows it's Roseanne Barr. James laughed.
Howard asked if he would have Roseanne on the show to ask her about what's going on with her. James said he's not sure that's the right environment for that. Howard said he would love to have her on this show. James said she would be amazing on this show. He said you don't want to talk to her and have to say ''Stick around, we'll be right back after this...''
Howard said he never thinks of James as the controversial guy. He said he did some Harvey Weinstein jokes and they weren't crazy but he caught tons of shit for that. James said it was a strange time. He said he was kind of shocked. Howard asked where he was. James said for about a week before that he and other late night hosts were being told they were liberal elites because they weren't talking about this. He said he was hosting an event honoring Julia Roberts for AMFAR and they were in the center of liberal elites. He said he figured he had to say something. he said it wasn't televised at all. He said that someone filmed it on their phone. He said he was making jokes at his expense and he never thought he was going to be accused of punching down. He said it was maybe too raw and too soon to do such a thing. He said he's seen jokes since that are similar tone. He said he was upset that people would think that he was telling a joke at the expense of a victim. He said it was a strange weekend for sure.
Howard said he went on the air on Letterman's show after OJ was accused of killing his wife and he was joking. He said Dave got upset about it. He said later on they were all joking about it.
James said that there is a strange thing about being offended and everyone has that right to be offended but you have the right to be offended too. He said it's a strange time.
Howard said people are looking to James just to tell him they're offended. James said you have that right but that's all it is. Howard said he must have lost sleep over it. James said he felt disappointed in himself because people thought he was making light of these victims.
Howard said there was some guy who hired James to do a private Carpool Karaoke. Howard said some rich guy hired him to do this. He said he's seen rich guys do that with performers. Howard said he watched Elton John do a full concert in a living room. Howard said someone hired James to do this at a private party. James said it was someone who wanted to film one. He said they were going to play it at a big 65th birthday. Howard asked if the guy was famous. James said no. James said they were going to record it and play it at this party. Howard asked if it was a hard decision. James said no. He said it was a private thing so it wasn't hard to decide. He said that he got on with the guy and it was fun. Howard asked if it's a million bucks. James said Howard doesn't know what money is like. He said that he's not going to tell him what it was but it wasn't a million. Howard asked who set it up for him. James said he may have done that himself. He said it was fun and he really enjoyed it. Howard said it has to be substantial money. James said he's not going to tell him that.
Howard asked if the network has to know about that. James said he hopes not. He said it's nowhere near the figures Howard is thinking.
Howard asked about Bryan Adams who was on his show. He said maybe he was the worst guest. James said not at all. He said that he gets why he was upset about what happened. He said they were doing a special where they were going to have 1980s singers on the show to celebrate Back to the Future 25th anniversary. He said that Bryan may not have known what they were going to do. He said he may have thought he was going to do a Carpool Karaoke. He said Bryan came and saw the list and left. He said he didn't even see him. He said he just walked out. He said he kind of respects him for that. He said he didn't even say he was sorry, he just left.
Howard said he's fascinated by his life. He said he goes to these Anna Wintour parties. James said she has been a huge supporter of his in America. He said that she saw the play he did in New York and from that moment on she has championed him in a way that he'll forever be grateful for. Howard asked if she invites him to parties. Howard asked what they're like. James said some of them are dinners. Howard asked if everything is fancy and if there are never hot dogs there. James said there are never hot dogs. Howard asked how many people are there. James said he doesn't know. He said sometimes it's 15-20. Howard asked if he has to perform. James said not at all. He said it's just a dinner.
Howard said it's fantastic what's going on with him. Howard said he's on The Late, Late Show with James Corden on CBS at 12:37am. He said that's a fucking crazy time. He said that they get the viewers online when they post clips. James said that's the world now. He said you used to have to choose a host and stick with him but not now. He said now you can watch everything and anyone you want to see. James said that's the best part of doing a show at this time.
Howard asked about doing Oceans 8 and how he got that. James told Howard about the movie and how it's a retelling of the whole thing. He said this is a group of women who do a heist. Howard asked if he had to audition for this. James said not for this one. Howard asked what Anne Hathaway is like. James said she's adorable. He said he's barely in the movie. He said he just turns up at the end. Howard asked why he's going to the premieres then. James said he's just going to one. Howard asked if he has any love scenes. James said no and he'd hate to see him in that. He said he can't even stand to see himself in the mirror.
Howard said he must hold his own in the movie. He asked if he takes direction from the director. James said he takes all of the advice he can get. Howard said it's a home run with him. He said only in America.
Howard asked why he hasn't become an American. James said that England is his home. He said that's where his family is. Howard asked if he will ever become a citizen. James said he hasn't thought about it. He said he has an American daughter now. He said they travel with 4 British passports and one American. He said he does feel some sense of responsibility to be able to travel freely.
Howard asked James who he would fight for if the U.S. and England went to war. James said he'd fight for peace. He said he'd always fight for peace.
James said that growing up there seemed to be this optimistic outlook from America. He said things are changing and not even just in America. He said that he hopes that they don't lose it here. Howard asked if he ever talks about politics on his show. James said they do it in their own way on the show. He said when Trump was talking about this ban on Transgender people they did bring it up and they sang a song to a Nat King Cole song. He said they tried to have a bold statement on the show. He said that they just want to have a feast for your eyes and ears on the show.
Howard said he was thinking about how he didn't answer about which country he likes better, America or England. James said he doesn't think ''best'' exists in anything but the runner over 100 meters. He said that he used to dream about going on vacation in America and how he lives here. He said he's so lucky to be there. James said that he couldn't' be happier. He said at the same time in Britain he misses people who are getting older over there. He said he doesn't want to look back wishing that he could have spent more time with them. Howard said he has 3 kids now and something has to break. James said he's not working that hard.
Howard asked if his wife stays home with the kids. James said she has an interior design firm. He said they have a nanny. James said he has a day where he can bring one kid to school and pick the other one up after. Howard said he hopes he has a regular nanny and not one he'll cheat with. James said that he'll never read about that happening.
Howard said James has it going on. He said he's in this new movie Oceans 8. He said that he's a delightful man. He said he has 3 kids and a wife. Howard said everyone wants to know if he'll crack. James laughed. Howard asked how many drinks he had the night of the Met Gala. James said he had 3. He said they were Vodka, Lime Sodas. He said that's what he likes.
Howard said James has made it there. He said he was looking at pictures of his wife and she's hot. Howard said James has made it after coming over on a boat. He said he's in a late night battle and it's cut throat. He said James says it's not but it is. He said they watch Seth Meyers and try to undermine his success. Howard asked if that's how it goes. James said he really doesn't consider himself in that sort of thing. He said he really enjoys every time he's in the company of any of those guys. He said there is no battle there. He said they're all just doing their shows. He said Kimmel is the nicest guy to be with. He said he goes to dinner with him and it's great. Howard said he has seen him throw darts at pictures of him. James said no way.
Howard asked what Les sent to him when his baby was born. James said it was a very nice basket of things for the baby. Howard asked if he socializes with Les and his wife. James said of course. Howard said he was in a department store with Les once and their wives were trying on clothes and giving them a fashion show.
Howard said it was great to see James. He gave him some more plugs and told him not to be a stranger. He said he's exceeding in ways that even American's cant in this country. He said he's like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Howard wrapped up a short time later and went to break.
- Panel Plays Clips - October 3, 2018. 08/21/19. 9:40am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Ronnie shared a sex tip and more. Here's my rundown from that day:
Staff Panel: Phone Calls And Email. 10/03/18. 8:35am
After the break Howard came right back and said what a great read he just gave them in that commercial. He said he has to remind you about all next week having the Beetle's Channel all week on Sternthology. He said that he played some clips last night and he was up at 3 in the morning humming ''Beetle in the House.'' He played some of the song and sang along with it. He said Beet was way ahead of his time with that song. Howard said he got his dick sucked more than Kavanaugh did. He said tune in next week on Howard 101 when they have Beetle's Channel. Howard said Beet is 50 years old now. He said they met him when he was like 7.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if he's ever noticed that Fred never gets anyone a wedding gift. He said he said that he didn't get JD anything yet. Howard said Fred is building him a barn from scratch. He asked Fred if he wants to reference this. Fred said he has a year to do that. He said he will get some money or something. He said he's going to get retribution or something. Jim said he did the same thing with Will and Jason. Fred asked if Jim is keeping track. Jason said he knows Fred didn't give him a gift around his wedding. He said he can't remember if he gave him anything. Fred said he did. He said he's just bad at giving gifts. Gary said he wasn't even invited to JD's wedding. JD said he's not expecting anything from anyone. Howard said shut up. He said of course he's expecting it. Jason said he was on the air whining about how much he had to pay for that wedding. Howard said he was saying he can't sleep because of it. JD said he never said that. JD said he's doing fine. Howard said he thinks he's in financial trouble. JD said he's fine. They played a song parody about JD needing speech classes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's proud of him following through with that contest yesterday. Howard said they have to remind people that Richard shit his diaper yesterday. He asked Richard to just admit he did it on purpose. He said that he's safe if he says he did it. He said he won't fire him or anything. Howard said he feels that you know when you shit your pants when you fart. He said he knows if shit comes out. He said he believes that Richard let it happen. Richard said he swears that he didn't mean to do it. He said that he didn't mean to shit. Howard did his Brett Kavanaugh impression like he was denying it like Richard.
Howard asked how that's possible that he didn't know he shit his pants. Gary said that he gets it if you don't realize it immediately. He said that he had to know when he was walking. Richard said he had pee in that diaper. He said it was sloshy in here. Jason said he has never been at the urinal and shit himself. He said you know something happened.
Richard said that they were asking why his asshole is so loose. He said he's never taken anything in there. He said he thinks the way he wipes is what causes it. He said he shoves his finger up there to clean it out. Chris said that he must fist himself to clean himself out.
The caller said Richard did say ''Whoops.'' Richard said he thought there might be a pebble or something but not what came out.
Howard read through some email about Richard and Sal's heaviest diaper contest. People wrote in about how great it was and how it'll be his legacy. Howard said that's just what he wants to be known for. Howard read an email about how the person was gagging listening to it but it was compelling.
Howard asked if they put it up on the app. The guys said they think so. Richard said he's not sure if they can show the poop or not. Howard said it's not that they can't but they won't. Howard said he didn't look at it. Robin said she saw it in the diaper. Robin said he picked it up and showed the diaper. Jason said they have it up on the app.
Howard read an email about Sal trying to say fraternizing and not getting it out. Fred played the drop of Sal doing that. Howard said he's not sure why he'd use that word if he doesn't know how to say it.
Howard read more email about the contest and had a bunch of positive stuff and one guy saying that he didn't like it and get it off the air. Howard said that's unusual. Howard said that people wanted to see it live instead of on a replay. Howard said someone liked Fred's line ''I'm Pea Biscuit.'' He said that went on and on. He said someone said they want to hear more about Sal's fucked up family. He said it's his job to make sure they don't get too much of that.
Howard read about Richard's parents and all of the stories they heard from Richard and his family. Howard said people love his family.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she saw that bit on the app and she was dying. Howard hung up on her saying he can't take it.
Howard said someone called Ronnie a liar about the tweet he retweeted. Howard said someone said that he had to have read the whole tweet and he just loves positive stuff about himself.
Howard said someone saw Robin on the app and hadn't seen her since the E! show days. They thought she looked great.
Howard said someone wrote in about the Tan Mom song. Fred played it and Howard said that it sounds like that song from that movie Night at the Roxbury. He said that's what the song is.
Howard said someone wrote in saying there's too much Sal on the show. That was from Sal's dad. Howard let the Tan Mom song play and matched it up to that song ''What is Love.'' Fred was mixing the two together. Howard said Fred is very talented at nonsense.
Howard said someone wrote in about how he was ripping Brett Kavanaugh about not being able to get laid at Yale. He said that people go there to get their MRS degree. He said they all run over there to find a husband. Robin said maybe he loved beer more than anything. Howard said maybe they saw that twitchy mother fucker and didn't want anything to do with him. Howard said he has that tick and it's what his mom used to call ''Making Minice.'' He said if he had done an FBI check there would be something to that. He said he had to have been able to get laid at Yale. He said anyone can get laid if they go to Yale.
Howard said he got some email about the Prince Batman album he was playing. He said that he knows what he's talking about. He said people aren't happy about his family putting his songs into commercials though. Robin said he hated people covering his songs. Gary said a lot of people covered his songs. Robin said Prince hated it. She said he was asked what he thought about that and he hated it.
Howard got an email from someone asking what to give at a Bat Mitzvah. Howard said this is a new thing. He said that the Bat Mitzvah is a new thing they started doing with girls because the boys were getting a Bar Mitzvah. He said this happened in the 60s when people got into Women's Lib and all of that. Robin said it's all made up so why not start something new. Howard said you won't get an argument from him. He said he prays to a rock. Brent said at least a rock is a real thing.
Howard said he got some mail about Robin putting down Dr. Drew. Robin said she was just joking. Gary asked if Robin is going to go to lunch with Drew when he's up there in a few weeks. Robin said she didn't know he was coming. Ronnie said she's not going to go. Howard said Ronnie is so angry. Ronnie said he is not. Howard said he seems to think he's the angriest guy in the world. Some of the guys agreed. Ronnie said he's really not. He said he's just angry in general. Howard asked if life dealt him a shit hand. Ronnie said no. He said he's perfectly fine.
Staff Panel: Ronnie's Sex Tip. 10/03/18. 9:00am
Howard asked if Ronnie has a cold. Ronnie said he has allergies. He said he has a drip in his throat. He said he's been living on Claratin for like 2 months now. He said his allergies are horrible. Jason said he gets the same thing. Ronnie said the drip in his throat is horrible. Howard said maybe it's from all the pussy he eats. He said it has to be hard getting old too.
Howard asked if Ronnie ever talks about his parents in therapy. Ronnie said he has and he's way past that. He said he didn't have any problems in his childhood as far as he's concerned. Everyone laughed at that. Howard said they should clean out the computer.
Howard said that Ronnie has a sex tip they never got to. Ronnie complained about JD waiting in the hall to see his reaction when they talk about him. He said it gets him so angry. He said it's really annoying. He said he did this cock ring thing for the smallest cock. Howard played the sex tip where Ronnie gave a tip on how to make your own cock ring. He said buy a box of fruit loops and put your cock in there and then stick it in your woman's pussy and then have her eat it. Howard said ''Oh my god.'' Ronnie said that's a great breakfast.
Howard said Ronnie recorded that sex tip and he has the recording of him laughing at his own sex tip. Ronnie said he was laughing about Calamari and he was laughing really hard. Howard played the clip and Ronnie was cracking up reading the lines. Howard said he's not sure whose dick fits into a Cheerio or something like that. Ronnie said that was for guys who have small dicks. He said this was before he got to the good ones.
Howard said he has a list of the 5 things that piss Ronnie off. He played that bit where Ronnie complained about people who break your balls constantly. Ronnie said they expect you to know about stuff that you don't know about. Howard said this must be about him and Robin. Ronnie said he can name like 30 people there who do that.
Howard said Ronnie apparently doesn't break balls. Ronnie said he does. He said he breaks balls but he's joking. He said he's talking about people who are being serious. He said he's joking around. Howard said when he does it it's joking around but other people are busting balls. Ronnie said you can tell when someone is doing it to break balls. Robin said you can see it in their eyes. Ronnie said she's got that right. Howard played more of Ronnie complaining about people and things they do. He was complaining about drivers, pedestrians and homeless people. He complained about people who rush to get on the airplane for no good reason. Howard said Gary says it's all about the overhead baggage. Gary said they take your bag and you have to check it if someone puts their bag in your area.
Staff Panel: Gary's Favorite Clips. 10/03/18. 9:05am
Gary was kind of phlegmy so Howard asked what's going on there. Gary said he doesn't know. Howard said they have to get back to Gary and his favorite clips. He said this is a documentary about a guy who drinks hand sanitizer. Gary said the show is called Intervention. He said this guy was special. He said he's addicted to drinking hand sanitizer. He said the guy is 32 and lives at home.
Howard played a clip of this guy's mom talking about him drinking the hand sanitizer. Howard said there is so much alcohol in it. He said that it must be a money thing. He said alcohol is out there but he must drink it because it's cheaper. Gary said he explains it later.
Howard played more of the clip and the guy was talking about how it's like a dollar 39 for 3 shots of this stuff. Jason said a bottle of vodka isn't that expensive. Gary said he can probably go to an office and get the hand sanitizer for free off a desk. Howard said he went to a hospital and they have the stuff hanging everywhere like a bar.
Robin said she has a friend who works in the rehab section and they can't fill those things because people would be drinking it.
Brent said he once drank a bottle of Scope in Saudi Arabia. He said he threw up green. He said he got drunk from it.
Howard said Kitty Dukakis was drinking perfume. Robin said they do that because they have given up alcohol and this stuff is very high in alcohol content. Howard said Mike Tyson explained it best on the show. He said it's like when you're hungry and you can't get food. He said that's what it's like for alcohol for an alcoholic.
Howard played another clip of this guy Josh talking about how his personality has changed since he started drinking this stuff. His family said he gets violent and angry when he drinks. Josh said he doesn't want to be a complete jerk. He said he's trying to get past that point and not turn into a jerk. Gary said now his mother has gone to his mattress to take the bottles away and he's super angry.
Howard said the mother should throw him out of the house. He played the clip of Josh yelling at his mom about where his drink is. He was yelling at her asking where it is. The Mom said she has no idea. Josh was cursing and screaming asking where it was. Howard said she must be really happy she had a kid now.
Howard said he thinks he'd rather have a serial killer than this. He said they can be pleasant. He said they're quiet at least.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he works as a medic there in the city and they pick up people who do this kind of thing. He said they drink that stuff down in the bathrooms. He said they get a $2,300 ride to the hospital to drink that stuff down. Howard said he's really depressed about the world they live in now. Robin said she is too. Howard said things are so awful. Brent said technology has neutralized evolution. Howard said look at you. Brent said that most of these people would have died if they didn't have the technology to stop them from dying from this stuff.
The caller said that they have middle class American people who are trying to duck out and get their thing. He said they're down on their luck.
Howard said his mom was saying that he always had to be perfect at what he did. He said maybe he always has been. He said he finds a passion in life and follows it. Gary said this guy has a passion for those bottles and it could be used for something good. Robin said he has that passion because of his addiction.
Jason said this guy had a 6 figure salary at 21. Then he had back surgery and got hooked on pain medication. Howard said the opioid addiction thing in this country is really bad.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a cop in Toronto and a lot of guys drink Listerine. He said he has had guys who drink rubbing alcohol mixed with lemon juice. Robin said that can kill you. Howard asked what happened in their life to make them do that. He said you have to be fucked up.
Howard took a call from a woman who said please don't stop Sal from saying words that he doesn't know. She said you can feel him trying to work through them. Howard said he won't stop him. He said he has instructed everyone not to tell Sal what the word is. He said they should have Sal come in and try to read a list of hard words. Gary said they're working on that.
Richard said he tried getting in touch with one of Sal's old teachers and they didn't get back to him. Howard said don't worry, there's no danger of that.
Howard said they should do a bit where they try to get Sal to say words that are tough. He said that he was unable to say fraternization. He had trouble with prevalent.
Ronnie coughed so Howard said he's got to be sick. Ronnie said he has allergies. He insisted he's not sick.
Howard said Sal doesn't know much of anything. He asked if he's worse at history or words. Sal said history is tough for him. He said there are a few words that he doesn't know. Fred kept playing the drop of him trying to say fraternization. Howard said Sal is really bad at geography. He said he didn't know Africa or something. Gary asked if he knows where Madagascar is. Sal said it's in Asia. Gary said he thought it was in Africa.
Howard said Sal thought there were 3 oceans. Sal said there are. He mentioned 3. Then he threw out one more. Howard said there are 7. He said there's even a song about it. Gary asked if he knows the continents. Sal said there are 7. He rattled off a bunch. He said one of them was Spain. Howard said that wasn't bad. He said he is learning.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she figured out why Ronnie is so upset. She said over the past few months he was attacking people in the office. Then he was going after Robin. Howard said Ronnie is angry at women. The caller said that he's been going off on Howard lately. She thinks that his niche has been taken over by Brent's wife and things like that. Howard thanked her for that. Ronnie said he hopes she crashes.
Howard said he might have to take a break. He said Richard is up next. Richard said Comic-Con is coming up this weekend so he has some Comic-Con clips to play. Howard said they'll hear that next. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
- The News with Robin - November 7, 2018. 08/21/19. 10:25am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Robin's news segment from last year. Here's my rundown from that day:
Robin's News. 11/07/18. 10:15am
After the break Howard came right back and goofed on Gary a bit with some throat clearing clips. He said he hasn't heard any phlegm out of Gary lately. He said he doesn't care if he clears his throat unless he's eating. He said if he's not eating it's not so bad.
Howard said Mark McGrath cut a song parody about Gary's phlegm. He played the song which was to the tune of Sugar Ray's ''Every Morning.'' He said that was actually the real Mark McGrath.
Howard said that was wonderful work from Mark McGrath. Robin asked if that was really him. Howard said it was. He said that was a wonderful tribute to Gary's phlegm.
Howard said they should do some news. They played a song parody about her to start her off. Howard said that was ''Gag on my Bone.''
Robin read a story about a guy who was is an actor and appeared in ''Better Call Saul'' told people he was a veteran who lost his arm while serving. Robin said now he came clean about how he actually lost his arm. Robin said he was never in the military. Robin said he cut off his own arm while he was in the throws of mental illness. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about how he cut off his own hand with a Skilsaw. He went on to tell people he was a war veteran. He said that he's killing his career by doing this. Robin said he's been diagnosed as bipolar too. Robin said he's saying people who are bipolar have to take their medication. Howard said that's a crazy story. Howard said they don't even know if that's a real story. Robin said that is real crazy. Robin said the guy's name is Todd LaTourrette
Robin read a story about an Australian teenager grabbed a slimy creature and gulped it down. Robin said it was some kind of slug. Howard said when you see that you can't just do it. He said they test that stuff out on shows. Robin said this guy did it and it had a deadly worm in it. Robin said he was paralyzed from the worm and he died a few days later (8 years actually). Robin said lets not have anyone trying to eat weird stuff around there.
Robin said a former boxer choked to death in a croissant eating contest. Robin said the guy's sister talked about what happened to him and how it looked like it was a bit. It turned out he was choking and he died. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult and said he can't do this every day taking the plugs. Wendy said she knows she can't do it every day. Howard asked if the guy paid her for doing it yesterday. Wendy said he did. She said today it's $300. Howard asked how this guy is and how she knows him. She said it's a friend who knows him. She said that this guy got in touch with her on Facebook. Howard said he should move to that to make money. He said he's in the wrong business. Howard asked if she believes that he deserves some of the money. Wendy said yes. Howard said go ahead and mention his name. She said hi to Lou. Howard said that's it? Wendy said yes. She said that he just wanted his first name mentioned. Howard said thanks.
Wendy said he did a great awesome show the past couple of days. She said she wanted to comment on something that's gross and disgusting. She said she wants to know why Benjy would suck Richard's penis. Howard said he just held it. Wendy said he has to stop doing gross shit. Wendy said that he should keep showing up to work on time too. She said that it's not good when Howard is upset about him showing up late.
Howard asked if Wendy is against gay acts. Wendy said that's not right. Howard asked if she's opposed to gay marriage. Wendy said yes. Howard said she's very conservative. He said she is a lady. Robin said they've had quite a few people with low IQs calling in with their conservative thoughts.
Wendy was still going off on Benjy but Howard asked if she voted yesterday. Wendy said she did vote. She said she voted for ''the other person.'' She voted for Desantis.
Wendy said that he should get Britney Spears on his show. Howard said she has better ideas than Memet. Howard said he figured Wendy would be more liberal since they're trying to take away her benefits. Wendy said people can change their mind you know. She said it's not like it's the end of the world.
Howard asked Wendy about taking a ''burger shit'' when she was texting Jason last night. Wendy said a cheeseburger came out when she did that. Howard said he really has to go. He wondered if she shits and eats at the same time. Wendy said she does. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. He said he has to put a stop to her calling in with those shout outs. He said it's like feeding a pigeon. Howard said it's hard to turn her down.
Robin read a story about a Delta passenger who sat on his seat and there was dog poop on his seat and on the floor that had not been cleaned up. Robin said he got very messy and they offered him some kind of booze to clean up with. Howard said what a nightmare. He said he'd die of embarrassment. Robin said he'd be demanding to fly for free. Howard said he would, for a year.
Robin read a story about how Sinead O'Connor has become a Muslim. Robin said she's been Tweeting some controversial stuff. Robin said her name is now Shuhada Davitt. Robin read some of the tweets that she's been sending out. Howard said she's obviously having problems.
Robin read about how this was the year of women and the blue wave took over. Robin said there will be over 100 women in congress. Howard said he got the sense that it wasn't so much a blue wave. He said it was kind of a splash or spritz. Robin said the experts were so confused. Robin said they said it was a confusing message. Howard said it was no definitive statement. Robin said she would say that it would be that there was a slight interest in having a check on the President. Howard had fake Trump on the phone after that. He spent a few minutes talking to fake Trump about the elections. They had him singing the Tan Mom song about himself.
Robin read more about the elections. She had more details for Howard about the female wins and things like that.
Robin read a story about that woman in South Carolina who refused to give a gay marriage license. She said she lost her position down there. Robin said that Dennis Hof actually won his election even though he passed away. Howard took a call from fake Sarah Huckabee Sanders who had some things to say about the elections. Howard spent a few minutes with her before doing a live commercial read.
Robin read more midterm election news. She read about a bunch of people who won yesterday.
Howard said yesterday in the email people went off on him saying he ruined the ending of Ben Stiller's new series by giving away the ending. He said it was a news story. He said he read that and had to get on the air to go off on these people. Howard said someone wrote in asking if he's aware that he was giving away the show. Howard said he's going to do a spoiler. He said that the Titanic sinks in the movie. He said he reads these emails and figures he has to get out of the business. He said it was a true story from the newspaper. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how 16 percent of the people voting yesterday were first time voters. Robin said they were picking democrats over republicans. Robin said that was new and different. Robin said one 82 year old woman voted for the first time and then died. Robin said something happened and she's no longer with us.
Robin read a story about a holocaust denier who was running for congress. Robin said he was not elected. He was easily defeated. Robin had some audio of that guy saying that it's an international extortion racket by the Jews. Howard said he can't believe he got nominated. Robin said the republican party was going oops all over the place about that one.
Robin read a story about Demi Lovato getting out of rehab and going to vote.
Robin said Colbert was so excited about the election that he went on live and did his show. Robin had some clips to play from last night's show.
Robin had some more election clips to play. She had clips of Elizabeth Warren and Mitt Ronmey for Howard to play.
Howard wondered if Ralph voted. He said he probably didn't. He picked up on him and Ralph said he did not vote. He said he was watching Killing Eve. Ralph said he was spoiling that Ben Stiller movie too. H Howard said he was not. He said it's an amazing story and he was talking about the story because it was in the news. Howard said one of the guys died. Ralph said there he goes again. He said he's spoiling it. Howard asked why he didn't vote. Ralph said not everyone should. He said he didn't inform himself enough and he didn't feel it was responsible to vote. Howard said you have to show you care enough about it. He hung up on Ralph. He asked how he's friends with him. He said he's not actually friends. He has no friends. Robin said he does confide in him. Howard said that spoiler is like giving away the results of the first presidential election. Howard said Freddie Mercury dies in Bohemian Rhapsody. He said that's a spoiler.
Jason said that Ralph was telling everyone who to vote for last night during the election coverage. Howard asked what he's up to. He said what a dummy. He said he's really disappointed in him. He said he doesn't care what your beliefs are but vote. Jason said he retweeted a ''go out and vote'' tweet from Obama. Howard said wow.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been mad at Ralph since Monday. He said he was supporting Pete Davidson's joke about that war hero. Gary said Ralph retweeted something and said there is no reason not to go out and vote. The caller said he wants him to say something to Ralph.
Howard had Ralph back on the phone. He asked why he's sending out these tweets. Ralph said he does think people should vote blue. He said that he did his part by doing that. Ralph said he did vote. Howard said now he's lying. Ralph said of course he is. Howard said he has said no multiple times. Ralph asked why he keeps asking him. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with him. Ralph said do as he says, not as he does. Robin said this is insane. Howard hung up on him again.
Howard said that's weird behavior. He asked what's wrong with him. Robin said maybe his friend needs an intervention.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk wants to say something. He picked up and Jeff went off on Ralph saying even he voted. Jeff said he voted, fuck face. Howard said that would be like Jeff telling people not to drink.
Robin got back to her news and said they have elected the youngest member of congress. Robin read about 29 year old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez winning her election. Robin said a lot of women and veterans were elected.
Robin read a story about a man in New Jersey who won multiple lottery wins in one day. Robin said he won $5 million and then $600 more when he bought more tickets that day.
Robin asked if Howard likes Daylight Saving time. Howard said he is not a fan. He said he likes gaining an hour but not the other way around. Robin said that California voters voted to opt out of observing the time change once they get approval from Congress.
Robin read a story about the company Under Armor no longer footing the bill for strip club visits. Robin said they had a policy that let employees charge for going to clubs on their company card. Robin said they are putting a stop to that. Howard said what a company. Robin said they are making the change and hope to have a respectful and inclusive workplace now.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.