- Unnamed Labor Day Vacation Day 2. 09/02/14. 6:00am
Howard is off this week for a Labor Day vacation. They're playing another unnamed special this week with old show segments. Here's what they played today:
- Bubba's Wedding - December 5, 2006. 09/02/14. 6:00am
First up this morning they played a segment where Howard and the guys talked about Bubba the Love Sponge's wedding. Here's my rundown from that day:
Copyright Laws Discussed. 12/05/06. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Prank call using Ol' Dirty Bastard audio clips, Counting Crows performing ''A Long December'' live in Howard's K-Rock studio.
Howard started off the show saying that he was reading something weird this morning. He said he had no idea that copyright laws in London are different for the music industry than they are here. He said that the copyright laws last for 50 years over in London so in 2012 and 2013 the Beatles catalog will be public domain. Michael Jackson owns the rights to them now but in a few years he's going to lose them to public domain. In the U.S. They last for 95 years. He said that's weird to him.
Howard said that it's strange how something like that goes away after that much time. Robin said that you can't even sing the Happy Birthday song without getting into trouble. Howard said that song must be under the 95 year copyright rule here.
More Discussions About Bubba's Wedding. 12/05/06. 6:05am
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe that Bubba isn't providing dinner at his wedding reception. Howard said that's okay, it's no big deal. The caller said he heard that Bubba is spending like $100,000 on that wedding.
Howard said that he thinks that Bubba took quite a hit money wise when he came to SIRIUS but he's really not sure. Howard asked Artie about what he's going to do about eating that night because he's kind of a big guy. Artie said he'll be drinking and searching for leftovers for the night.
The caller said that Bubba was talking about how many animals he and his crew have between them. They counted 34. He said it must be like a hillbilly wedding that they're going to have down there. Howard said Bubba is just a regular guy when he's on and off the air. Howard said when he goes on Letterman next week he should spray liquid ass on his face like Bubba did to one of his guys.
Howard said he might want to bring that up with Dave next week. He told Gary to make a list of things to talk to Dave about and the Liquid Ass was first on the list.
The caller told Howard to call Donald Trump and ask him to borrow his private jet. Howard said he can't do something like that, he's not that close to the guy. He let the caller go a short time later.
Howard said that they're going to fly down to Tampa, spend a day hanging out and then go to Bubba's wedding the next day. He heard Benjy on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and wanted to play some of the audio from that. He said he's actually very happy about Benjy coming with him but Benjy vented on the Wrap Up Show.
In one clip Benjy was saying that he's glad he's flying down to Tampa because in the long term it can help his career. Howard told Benjy that he's insane and his logic is kind of crazy. He said they won't even remember that he came with them.
Scott the Engineer threw a tantrum about not even being considered to fly down with Howard on this 10 seat private jet. He said that he's not talking to Scott over this whole thing. Scott came in and said that he's fine and moving on after all of that. Howard demanded an apology from him for what he did. Scott said that not bringing up his name is wrong. Howard said he can't mention his name every time and said that Scott was a mental case.
Howard said that Scott is an ingrate and told him to get out. Scott asked why he's an ingrate. Howard told him that he had gone to Tom Chiusano more than once and told him that if they fired Scott, he was gone too. Scott didn't believe that. Howard explained to him that he really did back him up and saved his job. He was told that they couldn't help but fire him so Howard put his foot down and said he would leave if Scott was fired.
Scott compared himself to Barbra Streissand during the Wrap Up Show so Howard played that clip and tried to figure out what point he was trying to make. Scott tried to explain it to Howard but it wasn't coming out right. He told Scott that he's made his life easier by giving his work to other people like Sal and Richard. He couldn't handle the pressure in the past but Sal and Richard can.
Howard started singing a song to Scott about being bald to a Barbra Streissand song. Sal then came in with a picture of a black cloud and held it over Scott's head. Gary told Howard that Scott continued to rant in his office after the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Sal recorded it. Scott claims he knew he was recording it. Howard played the clip and Scott was flipping out that Howard never invites him to anything. He said he was upset that he didn't even get an honorary mention.
Howard said he doesn't have to take him out to dinner and doesn't have to be under his black cloud. He told him to get the fuck out of the studio if he wants to be mentioned. That led to Howard talking about how Scott demanded a million dollar salary when they moved there. Scott said he knew they wouldn't take him seriously and he was very flexible with how much they paid him. He said that the real number he wanted and the million dollar salary got the same reaction there at SIRIUS.
Howard asked Scott what else he should be doing for him other than inviting him to his apartment and taking him to dinner. He said he works with the guy already and isn't sure what else he wants from him. He and Scott have no chemistry together, they're just co-workers.
Artie thought that Scott was over at Howard's apartment for his New Year's Eve party one year. Howard said Scott wasn't invited. He clarified his relationship with Scott and said that they just work together. He thinks that he's a great guy but that's as far as he wants to go with him. He likes working with him and that's it. He has no desire to spend his weekend with him.
Gary said that the guys wanted to play a game with Howard. He gave him names and Howard had to pick which one he would bring on the plane with him. Howard picked JD, Ronnie, Dan the Song Parody Man, Brian Phelan, Steve the Intern, Penny Crone, Mutt, Steve Langford and Siobhan over Scott. He didn't pick Muhammad Atta or Beetlejuice over Scott though.
Howard told Scott that he can't think of a better person to work with but that's all he wants. He told Scott he still expects an apology from him but Scott didn't understand why. Howard told him he hurt his feelings and he wants an apology for that. He didn't bother giving Scott a wave this morning because he's so pissed at him. He didn't want any tension at work and Scott has made him tense.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Scott has been complaining for 20 years now and he doesn't realize how many people would kill to have his job. Artie said that Scott has a skill though and he couldn't be replaced by just anyone like Bobo seems to think. Artie admitted that he could be replaced by a fan easier than Scott could.
Robin said she heard that Scott was going off on Howard on the Wrap Up Show from Ronnie who said he's been through similar stuff. Howard said Ronnie used to be a driver, now he stands around pretending to be a security guard. That led to Ronnie coming in and saying that he didn't say anything to Scott but he has been through stuff like this.
Ronnie said that he and Howard once got into a fight over who was invited to a Scores party one time. He said he doesn't have a problem now but Howard seemed to think that he did have a problem.
Howard asked Scott if he's got permission from his wife to go to the wedding down in Tampa. Scott said he was waiting to see who was going before he decides. Everyone figured that Scott wasn't going to show up because he has to get permission from his wife. Scott said that's not true but the guys all think that he's so whipped that he isn't allowed to go. Scott said that he might go and he would like to go to the dinner that everyone is going to. Howard told him he's not invited so Scott said there's no reason to go then.
The guys were goofing on Scott because he has to stay home with his wife after their dog died months ago. Robin said that she has lost 2 cats in the past 4 months but she's not acting like it's the end of the world. Scott said it's like losing a family member though and it's very tough for his wife.
Artie told Scott that he must have quit smoking at just the right time because his voice sounded pretty bad on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Scott said he's got problems and he has screwed up his lungs to the point where he has to take medication.
A caller said that if Howard had never brought Scott over there, he'd probably be changing light bulbs in a bowling ally somewhere. He also goofed on Ronnie so Ronnie went off on the guy.
Ralph called in and said that the loves how Scott has a name for his black lung. Scott calls it COPD. As he was talking about that Sal came in with a broomstick with a wig on it and stuck it on Scott's head. Howard asked Ralph if he's going to Bubba's wedding. Ralph was still on the fence about it.
Ralph said that yesterday's show with John the Stutterer was great, he loved the songs that Howard was playing over him. He also asked Robin about her comments about slavery during the show yesterday. Robin said she didn't think that slavery is depicted the right way in this country and it's not as easy going as people think it was.
Howard let Ralph go and then said goodbye to Scott. Howard ended up saying he was sorry to Scott as he was leaving but said he wasn't really sorry.
Artie said that now he has to figure out what to get Bubba for a wedding gift. He said he wasn't sure what to do since they're not even serving dinner. Robin said you're supposed to cover dinner costs but they're not even having dinner. Howard said he's going to get him some pickled pigs feet or something. Howard said he was going to give Bubba a grand. Robin said she was going to give five grand. Artie figured he'd give a grand himself.
Howard and Robin were giving Bubba's marriage about 3 years to last. Fred said he gives it a few years but he thinks Bubba will cheat within 6 months. Artie gave them 5 years.
Howard said he was talking to Beth about marriage and how he sees no reason to do it because he doesn't plan on having any kids. Benjy asked Howard if Beth would break up with him if he asked her to have kids. He said he thinks that she doesn't want kids right now so she probably would. Fred said that doesn't last that long because a switch goes off one day and all of a sudden they want kids.
Robin said that she knows a woman who had to break up with a guy because he wanted to have kids and she didn't. Howard said that he would prefer if Beth never changed but Robin told him that's very selfish of him to ask something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that a lot of people are doing weddings like Bubba is where they don't have dinner because so many people complain about it. Another caller said that she can't stand the thought of losing him and doesn't want him flying with everyone to Florida. She's afraid that Scott's black cloud is going to be lifted for that day and they're going to leave him behind. Howard said he hates flying and doesn't even want to think about that. Howard asked Artie if he's going to wear a suit to the wedding. Artie wasn't sure yet.
Howard said he met Carl Bernstein the other night at a friend's house. He said he thinks that the guy likes the show. He spent a short time talking about that and then said that he's thinking of dressing like the Crocodile Hunter when he goes to Bubba's wedding. He said he could run around catching bugs and fake crocodiles while he's at the wedding.
Howard took another phone call from a guy who said that Bubba's wedding is supposed to be really nice. He also said that Bubba is afraid that they're going to goof on his wedding on the show. Howard said everything will be fine.
- John Steals The Gary Puppet - August 22, 1994. 09/02/14. 7:05am
Next up today they played a segment where Stuttering John stole the Gary Puppet and goofed on Gary about it. Here's my rundown from a replay of the segment in 2007:
The Gary Puppet Gets Stolen (August 22, 1994). 04/04/07. 9:25am
After the break we heard a request for the segment where the Gary Puppet got stolen. In that segment we hear Gary telling Howard that the Gary puppet had been stolen over the weekend. He was afraid that Howard was going to get mad at him so he was going to leave the studio to tell him. He said he was really, really nervous telling Howard this story. He said that the puppet had been abducted on Saturday but he did have a plate number so he was going to try and track it down. Gary said he thought that Howard and the guys had set him up though.
Howard said he told Gary not to take that puppet to his appearances. He said the puppet is a superstar and he loves it more than any person on the planet. He asked him how he can lose something like that. Howard asked Gary where he was and where the puppet was. Gary said he was in Little Falls, New Jersey and someone stole it while he was there. The puppet is now gone and he has no idea where it is.
Gary said the owner of the store wanted to show him his stereo system so he walked out of the store and that's when the puppet was taken. Howard asked Gary if he had called the cops yet. Gary said he hadn't done that yet. He said the owner is willing to pay for a new one to be made and that might take a couple of weeks. Howard asked Gary to just go himself from now on and not take the puppet. He said he can't trust him with his property.
Howard had a caller on the line who said that he was there at the store and thought that the guys were pulling a prank on Gary. Howard ended up hanging up on that guy because he didn't have his camera on him. Gary knew that something was up and wondered why Howard hung up on that guy so quick. Howard said goodbye to Gary and told him to leave after he gave him a big smirk like he was in on the whole thing.
Stuttering John came in and told Howard he had another guy on the line who saw the puppet get stolen. The guy said that he saw Gary after the puppet disappeared and he was so white he looked like a mime with big green teeth. He said he could see the dread in his face when the puppet had vanished. Howard asked for someone to return the puppet so they could move on. He said Gary was staring at him like he had done something wrong.
Howard said this did seem kind of dumb because it's all over a puppet. He said he's not even mad at Gary for the puppet being taken when he had nothing to do with it. He said he doesn't get Gary and asked him why he would give him that look when he had nothing to do with it.
Gary said the guy on the phone didn't even see what happened, he wasn't there. He said he still thinks that this is a practical joke that they're pulling on him because they've done that to other people on the show. He said he was promoting this gig for two weeks and he could just about see the smile on Jackie's face. Gary said he had someone watching over the puppet for him so he should have been okay.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had the puppet. He said he was looking at the puppet as they spoke and described what he was wearing. Howard asked to talk to the puppet so the guy did his Gary impression and goofed on Gary a little bit. Gary claimed that the guy had left a ransom note so he was going to run out to get it. Howard continued to talk to the guy for a short time and then Gary came back in and said that he has his license plate number. He also said that stealing the puppet is a felony because it's worth over $600. The guy said that he was showing the puppet to friends and he had offers to buy it.
Howard said he doesn't know what this guy is going to be doing to the puppet while he has it. He said that he's not sure he wants it back now. He asked the guy to just give it back. The guy said he lives in New Jersey so he could have it there in 15 minutes... for the right price. Tom Chiusano came in and said they're not going to negotiate with a criminal. He said they have a lead and they will call the police and get things in gear.
The caller said he wanted $2,000 for it and he'd bring it in. Howard said he would pay. He asked if he wanted to do it at a drop off point or something so they could avoid the police. Ralph came in and said that he could make a new one with two thousand dollars. Tom said he thinks they should go after that guy. Howard wanted to know what they should do with Gary. Gary wanted to get the puppet back first and then decide. Howard said he thinks that Gary hates the puppet so much that he left it alone hoping that it would disappear. Gary said that's not the case.
Howard said that the puppet has gotten more popular than him and that's why he wanted it to disappear. Gary said he loved the puppet. Howard wondered why he didn't let him know that the puppet had been stolen right away. Gary had the license plate number and should have reported it immediately. Gary said this was turning out as bad as he expected it to. Howard and Robin goofed on him for not calling the cops right away.
The caller said he was going to jack up the price to $5,000 since he did have some offers for that much. Howard said he would call off the deal and call the cops on him instead. The guy said that this is the original puppet and it's like having the original Charlie McCarthy doll. Howard said this is like negotiating with Jackie.
- John Stole The Gary Puppet Part 2 - August 22, 1994. 09/02/14. 7:45am
Next up they played the second part of the Gary Puppet theft segment. Here's my rundown from a replay in 2007:
The Gary Puppet Gets Stolen (August 22, 1994). 04/04/07. 9:25am
Howard said he really wanted to resolve this whole thing and decided that they're not going to negotiate with the guy. A cop had showed up to take some information down. The cop came in but he was a New York City officer. The crime took place in New Jersey so they had to report it there. That led to Howard telling the cop how dopey Gary is and how he should have reported this over the weekend.
Howard had Gary repeating after him. He had him talking about how incompetent he is and that he will stop taking that stuff and also stop taking stupid pills and dumb capsules. Robin said she can't believe he did something he was told not to do. Howard said this wasn't the first time he's been fooled and it won't be the last. He said his first reaction was to say no to him and that's what he should have done.
Howard said that he's not going to be a nice guy on this show anymore. If he wants the puppet to stay there, it's going to stay there from now on. John said that they had a private investigator there. Howard told him to keep that guy around so they could hire him to find Gary's brain.
Howard said that they were actually going to have that puppet host ''Talk Soup'' on E!. Howard told Gary that he needs a real producer and he needs to get rid of him. Howard said he wanted to finalize everything and wrap up. He got the owner of the store, Nick, on the phone and asked him what had gone on. Nick said he was demonstrating the mini-disc system he had in his car and they left the puppet behind. He said that they had a lot of people in the store and someone took their eyes off the puppet for a short time. He said that Gary was very upset and it turned the place into a funeral.
Gary said that this all happened about a half hour before he was done with the appearance. Nick said he did hear some people talking about stealing the puppet and he should have known something was going on. He also said he had asked Gary if he wanted him to report the theft to the police but Gary didn't want him to. Gary said he didn't think that it would help things out at the time.
Fred came walking in with the puppet a short time later. Gary said that he knew that they had set him up. Howard said he didn't know anything. Howard said he would be nuts to let that puppet out of his sight. He said they plotted the stealing of that puppet for three weeks. He said Gary had asked him if he could borrow the puppet and that led to them coming up with the plan. John said that he was the one who actually stole the puppet so of course he knew about it. Gary kept calling him over the weekend freaking out about it.
John said that the car that they drove off in was his assistant's car. Gary said that the plate number he had was actually a bad number. He had tried to report it but it was missing a number or one of the numbers was wrong. Gary wondered if they were going to have video tape of the whole thing too. Howard said they didn't have that. Fred did his Gary Puppet impression and goofed on Gary with the puppet for a few seconds.
Howard said they came up with this plan after some discussion and they weren't sure they were going to be able to pull it off. Then they got the owner of the store involved and had him help them out with the plan. Gary said he's amazed that no one caved in after seeing him freaking out on them.
Howard said that John called him that night to tell him he had the puppet. He wanted to call the whole thing off but John wanted to keep the joke going for a while. That's why they kept it going until this morning. Gary said he wanted to come in and search the station for the puppet this morning. John said the puppet was safe in a car out on Madison Avenue this morning. Gary asked whose idea it really was. Howard wasn't sure but he thinks that it might have been Jackie. Gary had placed the blame on him earlier in the morning and it was almost as if he was quoting him according to Jackie.
Jackie said that it would have been great if they could have stolen the puppet from John as well. John said he had that in mind so he was expecting it. Gary said that he and his wife were talking about it and they figured this would be dragged out for a few more days at least. John said that he regrets not recording the calls he had with Howard. He said they were laughing together about the whole thing. Howard said he told John to tell the guy to call in with the puppet demanding ransom money. Gary was also fooled because Howard didn't bring up the puppet early this morning like he expected him to.
Gary said that he was so exhausted and depressed that he went to bed at about 6:30 last night. He said he woke up 3 or 4 times during the night as well. Howard took a call from a guy who said he was there and very upset that the puppet had been stolen. Howard said this whole thing worked out great. They had been planning it for three weeks and it worked out very well.
- Bam Margera - January 30, 2007. 09/02/14. 8:10am
Next up today they played a Bam Margera interview from 2007. Here's my rundown from that day:
Bam Margera And His Girlfriend Missy Visit. 01/30/07. 7:15am
After the break Howard was playing the prank call that Richard Christy made to a woman asking about some items she was selling. He had his voice doubled up and had the woman very confused. After that he had Bam Margera come in. He said he's got a new TV show coming out where he and his girlfriend get married. He came in with his girlfriend Missy who is co-starring with him on his new TV show. Howard said that Gary's son is into Bam even though he doesn't know what he does.
Gary said that his son sees Bam in commercials and from the Tony Hawk video games. Gary said all of his friends know that he knows Bam so they think he's really cool. Howard asked Bam if the success of Jackass Number Two took him by surprise. Bam said they knew it was going to be a hit because they did so much great stuff in the first 10 days of shooting.
Howard moved on to Missy and asked her if she was the hot chick in high school that Bam never had a chance with. She said she didn't know about that. Bam said there were about four girls in high school that he would have loved to be with but he was too busy skating. He missed out on the keg parties and stuff like that back then. Missy said she enjoyed those things. She said she was friends with Bam in high school but they didn't date. Howard figured Bam went off and did his thing while she was doing her thing.
Howard wondered when Bam and Missy got together. Bam said he was shooting some stuff for one of his videos and ran into her in a bar. He had a camera crew with him so that probably impressed her. Bam said that his girlfriend and Missy's boyfriend kept them from seeing each other because they knew how much they liked each other. Bam said he broke up with his girlfriend and then found out that Missy had broken up with her boyfriend. She gave him a call as he was going down to Brazil so he told her he'd be back in 10 days. When he got back, they got together and that was it, they've been together since then.
Howard thought that Bam was going to change his ways for Missy but she said she wouldn't want him to do that. She said she can handle his partying up to a point. Sometimes she just has to let him go do what he wants to do. Howard said Missy's parents must be worried about her marrying Bam. She said her mother has known Bam for a long time and she doesn't have a problem with it. Her father passed away about 6 years ago and he was a big fan of Howard's.
Howard asked Missy if Bam is the best lover she's ever had. She said ''absolutely'' and that he's very creative. Bam said that he's figured out a way to hump in the car while he's driving. He said she sits on his lap and faces the road as he's banging her. Robin wondered how that comes up and how he breaks the news to her. Bam said that they go to this lingerie shop and he gets all worked up from that. He told a story about seeing a couple of homo thugs at that store one day. He said they were a couple of thug-types who were trying on panties and stuff.
Howard said that Missy is pretty wild because she let Bam take nude shots of her for Playboy.com. He asked her about the sex again and wanted to understand what they do in the car. Bam pulls his pants down and missy sits on his lap while he's driving. Bam said her legs are in the middle of Bam's legs and they have plenty of room as long as they're driving the Hummer. Bam said he lives out in the woods and doesn't have to deal with traffic. Howard asked them to demonstrate the position so they could get an idea of what that looks like. They showed Howard and he said they're very talented to be able to do something like that. Howard said he's trained to do a very simple position so he can get it done quick before the girl changes her mind.
Bam talked about this TV show they're doing. They have 9 shows that they're doing but they've already been asked to do a second season. Howard asked Missy if she wears sexy outfits for the show. She said she will do that for certain times like when they go out at night, but she tries to keep it real. Howard said that these marriage shows don't always work out. The Jessica Simpson show is a good example of that. Bam said that he and Missy are different because she isn't a celebrity. She doesn't even care to be on TV.
Howard asked Bam if he wants to keep his girlfriend working in the sign shop she works in. Bam said that she's been asked to do Maxim and other magazines. Missy said she likes working in the sign shop so she does that for fun. Howard said that Bam must have women who throw themselves at him and wondered if they're going to take him away from her. Bam said that he told Missy that he wanted to get a Real Doll so he could do anything he wants to her. Bam said that Missy actually ordered the doll for him and he hasn't gotten it yet. He said he thinks that his roommates are going to be fucking the thing when he goes off to do his thing.
Howard asked Bam if he's having the best life. Bam was telling him about all of the people he has living with him and it sounded like a lot of fun. Howard asked him if he had a bachelor party. He said he already had it and it was wild. He said that Missy went to some spa while he went out to Vegas where he had a room with a bowling alley and a bartender. He said there were three ''lezzies'' eating each other out when he woke up from a nap. Then he sees that Don Vito had shit his pants after getting drunk.
Bam said he didn't have sex out there but he did watch the hot chicks having sex. He claims that MTV set up the girls for him. He told Howard about all of the crazy shit that went on at the hotel room that night. He threw a bowling ball at one of the guy's balls and ass and he ended up shitting himself.
Bam says their wedding is going to be pretty mellow and small. He said he plans on living out in Westchester, Pennsylvania. He doesn't want to live out in L.A. because he'd be stuck with all of the traffic out there. Howard asked Missy if she's ever done any lesbian stuff in her life. Bam said that she ate out some chick in high school but she claims she just made out with her. Bam said that if you start bringing chicks into the relationship, it can ruin it. Howard agreed but he has talked to her about it.
Robin asked Bam and Missy if they're going to have kids. Bam said it won't be for the first couple of years. He said he doesn't need a little ''me'' running around doing Jackass shit like he does. He's not ready for that. Howard asked Missy if she's worried about Bam doing the stunts and stuff he does. She said she is worried about that but she wouldn't leave him if he did get paralyzed or something. That led to Bam talking about the limits he has for the stunts he does in the Jackass movies. He said he doesn't want to be trampled by a bull like Johnny Knoxville does. He said Johnny does not give a shit about anything and that's why he's the boss. He gets a lot of money to do movies and stuff but he wants to see him getting kicked in the dick and stuff like that.
Bam said he regrets not doing crazy stuff if he doesn't do it. If he goes to New Zealand and sees a really high bridge, he has to jump off of it or he'll regret it. Howard gave him a plug for his TV show ''Bam Margera's Holy Wedding'' which airs tonight on MTV.
Irish John called in and asked Bam about some crazy ex-girlfriend who was selling his stuff on eBay.com. Bam said that kind of pissed him off and he tried to get some of the stuff back. He said that they had a pretty bad coke habit and she may have been out of money so she may have been selling it to make money. He said he hopes that she's able to clean up if she's still on the stuff. He said he's happy he's with Missy because she hates that shit. She doesn't do that stuff and barely drinks.
Bam said that he gave his ex-girlfriend an Audi as a gift when they broke up. She ended up wrapping the car around a tree and the cops ended up coming to his house thinking that it was him who wrecked the car. He was in Germany at the time. Bam also said that their relationship was kind of rough. They ended up fighting a lot and he fell on his neck at one point and figured that she was going to feel bad about it but she ended up throwing a glass at him. Howard read that Bam cut off all of her hair one time. Bam said she was laughing while he was doing it at the time. Then she got pissed after it and made it seem like he did it without her consent.
Howard asked Bam if he video tapes their sex together. Bam said he does do that and he keeps the tapes in a safe. Bam said he uses a fish-eye lens to make sure he gets all the action in those videos. Bam said there's one where Missy had a cat mask on that was pretty wild.
Howard gave Bam another plug for his show which starts tonight. A caller asked Bam about the brands he has on his ass. He got his ass branded with penises and he ended up getting a staff infection from that whole thing. Howard asked Bam about the gay stuff they did for the Jackass movie. Bam said he did one thing called Anal Bead Kite where he put anal beads up his ass and had a kite rip them out of there. He said that didn't make it into the movie because it was too gay.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why those guys do so much gay stuff and why they don't just suck each other's dicks. Bam said that he thinks a guy being naked and dropping into a ramp is funnier than a guy wearing clothes. Howard agreed that it's funnier when they're naked. Another caller asked what's going on with Don Vito and his lawsuit. Bam said that these ''Colorado motherfuckers'' are dragging out this case longer than they should. He explained what Don does when he has his picture taken and how he accidentally touched a girl's boob and now they're making a big deal out of it. He said they had to take him out of the Jackass movie because of that and they did a great bit where they ripped Don's tooth out with his Lamborghini.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Bam has a home sex tape out. Bam said he did release a little bit of him having sex with his old girlfriend on CKY 4 but it's only about 30 seconds. Howard took another call from a guy who asked Missy if she's ever licked Bam's ass. She doesn't usually do that but if Bam wanted it, she said she wouldn't deny him. Howard said he's never had a woman who wanted to do that to him so he's never experienced it. Howard said it can't taste good back there and it's got to make a girl nauseous.
Howard said Missy looks like a really fun girl. She thanked him for that and then Howard was going to take another call. Robin wanted to know what kind of ring he got for her though. Bam said he spent about $50,000 on the ring and another $15,000 on the wedding band. He said she's all blinged up now. He sounded angry that he had spent that much on that stuff. Missy said she did buy him that Real Doll though. That led to Howard and Fred talking about how they fucked the Real Doll they had back at K-Rock. Howard said that you have to clean up that doll after you bang it and it's not fun.
Howard took another call from a guy who said they have to get Missy on the Sybian. She wasn't into that and Howard understood why she didn't want to. He wrapped up with them after that and gave them another plug for the TV show. He asked Missy if Bam is ever normal or if he's crazy all the time. She said he's most normal when he wakes up in the morning. He gets crazier as the day goes on. Bam told Howard that he had a friend who wanted to be his Best Man and he said he could do that if he let him punch him in the eyes until they were black and blue. He let him do that too. Howard said he'll be watching their show. They went to break after that.
- Jason Vs. Gary - November 11, 2009. 09/02/14. 9:05am
Next up today they played a segment where Jason and Gary had an argument about audio books. Here's my rundown from that day:
Jason And Gary's ''Reading'' Argument. 11/11/09. 8:15am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a guy using clips of Ronnie the Limo Driver yelling about the new Camaro being a piece of shit. Fred also played Stone Temple Pilots ''Plush'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that people who are blind can get porn and have people describe it to them. He said he thinks that this is a comedy bit but he was going to play something from a web site where they describe porn for the blind. In the clip they describe where the porn comes from and describe what it looks like for the blind people visiting their site. The guy in the clip was describing what was on the page of one site and reading the descriptions and then playing a clip and describing what was going on in one of the porn clips.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show and Jason has become a star on that show. He said Jason was going off on Gary for saying that he ''read'' a book when he just listened to the audio book. Howard said Jason went berserk on Gary over that.
Howard said even Gary said it wasn't that big of a deal. He said Jason was on fire over that. Jason said he doesn't just do it on the air though. He said he'll come in after the weekend and say that he read the greatest book and he didn't read it at all, he listened to it. He said that the audio books are abridged so you're missing huge parts of them. Gary said that about half of the audio books are abridged. Jason said he thinks it's more than that.
Jason said he was talking to Gary about a book that they had both ''read'' and Gary missed out on some of the stuff that he had read because it was an abridged book.
Gary told Jason to stop calling him stupid. He said it wasn't very nice. Jason said that he can listen to whatever he wants and he can call it whatever he wants. Gary said it's funny how Jason gets so passionate about this stuff. He said that he doesn't appreciate him telling everyone in the office he thinks he's stupid. He said he can do that in private if he wants to.
Gary said this is a stupid argument and it offends no one but Jason. Jason said there are other people too, they're just not talking about it. Jason said he doesn't think that Gary is really stupid and he apologized to him for his poor choice of words.
Gary said that the people in the office aren't talking about him behind his back like Jason says they are. Jason said they are though. He said he should ask them.
Howard asked Gary if he will stop saying it now. Gary said for the sake of Jason he might. Howard said he thinks he's considering it.
Howard said he thinks that reading or listening is the same thing. Gary said that his kids are still learning so he'd prefer that they read a book and not listen to it. Jason said Gary said it's the same thing though so he should let them listen.
Gary said he gets bored in his car and that's why he listens to the books. Gary said he reads a book every night in bed. He said that it's not just listening to all of the books. Howard said he would love to see Gary reading in bed like that. Gary said he has to wear bifocals to read in bed too so it's not very cool.
Howard asked if Gary has one of those lights that he puts in the book. Gary said he doesn't have a special light or one of those Snuggies like they were talking about. Howard asked if he has a wedge to sit on. Gary said he just sits in bed and reads the book without a light or a Snuggie. Artie said if he gets Gary in the Secret Santa thing this year he's going to get him a Mets Snuggie.
- Body Fat Challenge Part 1 - April 26, 2006. 09/02/14. 9:20am
Next up today they played a segment where Howard announced they were going to test the staff for their body fat. Here's my rundown from that day:
Body Fat Discussions. 04/26/06. 9:10am
Howard said that Dice was great this morning. He asked Gary if Dice had left yet. Gary said he was sitting there in his office so Howard said maybe he could come back in after the commercial break. He said Dice may not want to be there because they have a woman coming in to measure their body fat. Howard figures that he may have the most body fat and Artie may have more muscle than he thinks he does. Artie said he knows that he's out of shape, he hasn't worked out since he was in high school.
Howard said he looks skinny but he's really not. Robin said that there are a few people in there who will have more body fat than Howard does. Robin said she's not going to take part in that. Fred said that they have to get Jason and Will in on that. Gary said that he's pretty sure that Dice won't want to do it. Howard told Gary to get the woman started out there measuring the other guys in the office. He came back and said that it takes about 2 minutes per person so Howard told them to get started.
Another phone caller told Howard that Dice was great today but then called him a has-been a minute later. He was asking Artie when he's coming down to Florida to do a stand-up gig. Artie said he'll be down there soon enough. Gary thinks that he's going to be doing comedy gigs every weekend in the summer but Artie said it won't be that nuts. He's going to be doing some gigs during the summer when they have time off. Howard figures he'll be in bed for a few days after doing the gigs.
Gary said he's pretty sure that he won't be taking part in the body fat measurement. He has no desire to do that. Howard went to break right after that.
- Body Fat Challenge Part 2 - April 26, 2006. 09/02/14. 9:25am
Next on today's special they played the rest of the Body Fat Challenge segment. Here's my rundown from that day:
Chris Freytag's Body Fat Measurement Details. 04/26/06. 10:00am
Howard had Gary bring in Chris Freytag who was doing the body fat measurements. Gary said that everyone had been done but Howard and Artie. Fred wasn't done either. Gary told Howard that he doesn't have to take his shirt off, he can just lift it up and let her take the measurement.
Howard said he had some great stuff to play today but he ran out of time. Chris came in a few seconds later so he told her that she may be a little too muscular. Her arms were apparently very big. He said that when a woman's arms get that big, it's too much for him. He had her measure Fred first since she had done just about everyone else. She had a helper with her from Prevention magazine by the name of Cheryl. She was helping her out with the numbers. Fred said it still hurt for a while after she took the measurement.
Howard stood up and had Chris measure him. She told him that he was very tall and his stomach looked pretty good. Howard let out a yell as she as measuring his belly with the calipers that were pinching him. He told Artie that he was in for some pain when he got measured.
Chris went over to Artie next and he let out a yelp when she was pinching him. She said that she was having a problem measuring his belly fat because there was so much of it. She gave a number of 60 when she finally got it. Fred asked if that was the most out of everyone. She didn't answer because she probably didn't hear him.
Howard asked Chris what kind of body fat she has. She said she's around a 15. Howard checked out her abs and said that she looks great for having 3 kids. Artie said he has no kids and no abs. Gary said that his numbers for the first three measurements weren't that far off of Howard's but the ab fat was way off. Howard asked to check out Chris' ass so she stood up and showed it off. Artie pulled out a $100 bill and asked her if that got her to forget about the body.
Howard tried to find out what kind of stuff she does with her husband but she just wanted to talk about body fat. Howard asked her if she's done anything wild in her life. She said that she has but didn't have any examples. Howard asked her if her sons have friends over who check her out while she's wearing a bikini. She said she really doesn't wear one around them that much.
Richard Christy came in and asked Chris if she does Kegle exercises to keep herself in shape down there. She said that she does that as part of her pilates exercises. Richard also asked her if she would get into a bikini for them. Chris said she's a mother and doesn't want to do that on the air.
Howard wanted to play a game with Chris and let them guess who has the lowest and highest body fat. Howard asked Artie who he thinks has the lowest. The guys guessed it was either Howard or Will but it turns out it was Richard Christy who has the lowest body fat. Will was also low but not as low as Richard. Howard asked her if she caught a whiff of his stink since he doesn't shower very often. She didn't say she did.
The guys guessed at who had the most body fat. Benjy and Scott's names both came up. Benjy was off the chart according to Chris. Jason was also up there pretty high. The guys talked about the amount of food that Benjy eats every day. Artie was eating some Devil Dogs and butted into the conversation with a mouth full of food.
Chris said that Artie was also off of her chart. She said that Benjy and Artie were both off of her chart and they were close in numbers. She said that JD was at about 20 percent, Gary was at 24 percent, Sal was in an acceptable location and Ronnie was a little under 25 percent. Scott the Engineer was a little over but not too bad. No one was in the ''athletic'' percentage. Mike Gange was at about 28 percent which was close to where Scott the Engineer was at. Gange found it hard to believe that he was that close to Scott.
Chris said that Howard was at about 22 percent body fat. Gary said that means he's only 2 percent less than he is. Chris said that some guys are harder to read than others because their skin is tighter than a woman's would be. Howard gave Chris a plug for her DVDs (''Prevention Fitness System - Personal Training'') which are available in stores. She told Howard what those are all about and said that she wears spandex in them.
Howard almost forgot so he asked what George Flowers was at. He's at 26 percent according to Chris. She said that there's an error correction of a few percent so he could be lower than that. Howard wrapped up with Chris and let her go a short time later.
- Robin's News - Unknown Dates. 09/02/14. 10:00am
Next on today's special they played some Robin's news segments from various unknown dates.
Today's special was over around 10:30am.