Howard started the show doing his Goldust wrestler impression as he started out. Robin said happy birthday since they were replaying the birthday show. Howard said he's not into that. He said he went out to dinner over the weekend and he didn't know they were celebrating his birthday. He said he told his wife he wasn't celebrating it. He said his wife hates celebrating her birthday and he doesn't want to do that with his. Robin said a lot of people are big on it and she finds it strange. Howard said he's not even allowed to mention it to other people. He said that she thinks he likes it because of these shows they do. He said he can't get these big guests if he doesn't pin it on his birthday. He said he's not into his birthday. He said it's fucking depressing. Robin said some people celebrate it the whole month. Howard said that's like 5 year olds.
Howard said he was watching football over the weekend. He said Ralph reminded him to watch. He said Ralph is a real man when it comes to football. He said he jumped into it and it was exciting. He said he knows about the play. He said he didn't care who was in it but he found himself rooting for the Rams. He said he had to pick a team. He said he knew he was rooting for them because the call went to the other team and the Rams ended up winning. He said that he had to root for them. He said he had no idea why.
Robin said she never picked a team in that game. Howard said he was for the Rams and he didn't watch all year. He said he found out that people in L.A. don't even care about them. Robin said she thought about that. She said she never hears about the team. Howard said someone told him they never get a crowd at the games. Gary said people don't care about football out there. He said that's why the teams come and go out there.
Howard said he was watching football and Richard is all about the Chiefs. Robin said she was against them because of Richard. Howard said he was against them too. He said he's invested in this Tom Brady story. He said he's 41 years old and it's amazing he can pull it off again at that age. Robin said it's effortlessly too. Howard said he's not sure about that. Robin said when they went ahead at the end of the game it took him no time at all to march down the field for a touchdown.
Howard said he likes Belichick. He said he finds it amazing that he's that good a coach. He said it's becoming legendary. He said you don't want to root for Brady because he has a perfect wife and probably perfect kids. Robin said he delivers. Howard said it's a fascinating story. He said he's almost a non fan of football. He said it stuck him that if you win a coin toss and get a touchdown you don't get a chance for the other team to get the ball. Robin said she likes the sudden death thing. Howard said he's not sure what that is. He said why can't a ref be called out on a bad call. He said he's sure real football fans debate it all the time. Robin said it could go on and on forever if you do that.
Gary said they do that in college football. He said you keep going back and forth until it's over. Howard said that's exciting. Robin said this is too. Robin said they need more video replay calls in the game.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how Richard is doing after the Chiefs lost. Howard said really bad actually. He said Richard is moping around there and you just want to tell him to shut up. He said he was hoping his team would lose. He said Richard was live tweeting from a bar. He said it was stupid live tweeting. He said he was tweeting things over and over. He said he'd repeat what he wrote over and over. He said it's like a 3 year old wrote it. He said just say it once. He asked what's up with the repetition. Richard came in and said that you have to emphasize it. Howard said people wrote him about what an asshole Richard was. Gary said Richard's eyes started to well up. Howard asked if he cried over it. Richard said he probably did. He said he wasn't balling but he was very bummed out. He said he was more angry than sad. He said he was really angry. He said after the game he was pissed and just walked home. Howard said the QB was really good. Richard said they should have some great years with him. He said he's a savior for them. His voice started to quiver as he was talking about that. Howard asked what's wrong with him. He said he's not sure what happened to him. Richard said he wants his dad to see them win another super bowl in his life. Howard said he'd like to see his dad get some teeth. Richard said it was 1970 when they won the super bowl last.
Howard asked if he hates Tom Brady. Richard said yes. He said it seems like no one else will get a chance to go tot he Super Bowl until he retires. Howard said it won't feel real if they don't go up against Brady. Richard said he's fine with that.
Howard asked if he's ever tried to put a spell on Brady. Richard said he has seen enough movies to know that can backfire and he'll end up with it on him.
Howard asked Richard who he was tweeting to. Richard said he thinks a lot of Chiefs fans follow him so he was doing it for them. Howard asked why he repeats what he writes. Richard said he can do it quickly. He said he just copies and pastes. He does it to emphasize it.
Howard asked what call Richard thinks was the worst call. Richard and Howard went over some of the stuff that happened in the game. Richard said the call that made him mad was when the guy tapped Brady and they called it roughing the passer. Howard said they have to stop with the coin toss rule. He said that doesn't make sense.
Robin said she thought he was gone. Howard said he just hasn't gotten to him. He said he has tons of teeth. He said that he always remembers Robin. He said after enough years she might warm up to him.
Howard played more Lenny clips where he was talking to Robin. Howard said all roads lead to cunt with him. He said he went from Richard's teeth to Robin's cunt. Howard had him asking how her slot is and talking about wanting to lick her pussy.
Howard said Lenny recorded himself at the side of a car accident. He said he was showing that he's helping out at the accident. He said he's a good Samaritan. Howard played the clip and Lenny was talking about coming up to the accident as the first person on scene. He said as a man of the people he's there to help in whatever way he can. He said the driver was very shaken up and he told her that it would be okay. Lenny said that Nails never fails. He was reporting from the scene in that one. Richard said he didn't mention Robin in that one. Howard said he gave Mouth to Pussy resuscitation. Robin said if she was in an accident and saw Lenny there she'd just die.
Ralph said that they should boycott the game. Howard said he has a point. He said his father in law tried to explain it to him but he's not sure why they can't do anything about that bad call. Ralph said Roger Goodell could reverse it. Richard said he could make the go back and play from that point in the game. Howard said they should do something like that. Richard said they won't though. Ralph said they're going to get what they deserve. He said the game will be over by halftime.
Howard said he lets the game build up and then he fast forwards. Richard said they showed the L.A. fans golf clapping at the bars out there. He said they don't care. Howard said maybe they don't care because they're in show business. Ralph said he thinks L.A. is a basketball town. Richard said they are also transplants out there and they may root for other teams.
Howard said he would have gotten a lot more done if Ralph hadn't told him about the games being on. He said he told him they were on and then he had to watch. Howard said Ralph told him to just have the game on and do other things. He said he can't do that. Howard asked what he can do. Ralph said you can organize. Howard said he wrote thank you notes and they weren't very good because he was watching the game. Robin said you can rewind and watch. Howard asked if that's what Ralph does. Ralph said you want that rush of seeing it live. Howard said he wasn't exposed to any men growing up. He said his father didn't do anything with him. He said he didn't watch football. Ralph said he had the same thing. Howard said his father liked baseball but he'd go off on him about that if he didn't get something. He said he'd push him away from him if he didn't know what to do. He said he was a bother to his dad. He said his mother would get upset with him if he asked why his father didn't like him as a kid. He said they did the best they could. He said that's what she told him. He said he was going to get into it with her but he backed off.
Howard said this is why Ralph has to turn him on to football. He said he never got turned on to it. Richard said his dad took them to tons of Royals games. He said they'd take him to the back fence to meet some of the Royals. He said he got to meet a bunch of players. Howard said Richard's dad is a pleasant guy. He said that his dad was always upset about something.
Howard said he used to call his dad Alexa Hente. He said this was a guy in a Columbian coffee commercial. He said that he was the demanding one. Howard said the commercial had this guy coming into town and he'd scare the people in town. He said he would come in on a burro and he was hired by the coffee association to go in and check the beans. Howard said the town looked like they were in poverty. He said Alexa was wearing a white suit with no dust on him. He said he had a skinny moustache and he's very dapper. He said he's so tall his feet are almost touching the ground. He said the peasants would come up to him and offer him the coffee. He said Alexa would sip the coffee. He said the town was silent. Then he'd get a huge grin on his face and the town would erupt. He said that they didn't know what to do with themselves. He said now this coffee can go off into the world. Howard said the announcer tells you the name of the guy and the name of the town.
Howard said he would get lectured every day by his mother. He said that his dad was out earning and his mother would tell him what a good man he was. Howard did his mom's voice talking about that.
Howard said his dad demanded a Rob Roy drink which was awful. He said his mother would prepare that before he got home. He said the glass had to be chilled and they had to cover the drink in the refrigerator. He said he asked his mother why she didn't just let him get his own drink. She had to do it for him. He said it dawned on him that he's like Alexa Hente the demanding one. He said he would walk in and take his jacket off and his mother would take out the Rob Roy and remove the plastic. He said now his father held it in his hands. He said he had his pinkie out holding the glass. He said his dad would sip the Rob Roy and go ''Ahhhh.'' He said his mother would break out in a big smile like the village. He said that his dad would sometimes say it wasn't as good as yesterday. He said it was the same thing from the day before. He said he would see his mother preparing it and it was the same.
Howard said his mother was so tense. He said that he thinks the two of them tried to keep each other calm. He said that his mother would get so upset with him if he left a t-shirt on his bed. He said she would combust and his father would combust. He said if he asked his dad about work he would freak out. He said that his father's partner had a special division of the company called Ping Pong records. He said he would bring up that and his father would freak out. He said he'd ask how it was doing and his father would yell at him. He said he just wanted him to interact with him and he would yell at him.
Howard said every year he'd put a Ping Pong records sticker in his home made card. He said his father would turn to the back and freak out. He said he just wanted some attention from his father. He said his partner was Alan Merchant and he'd ask how he was doing to get a reaction from him. He said he knew that he didn't want to talk about work. Richard said he had trigger words.
Robin said it's funny because his family sounds like those 50s TV shows. Robin said it's like Mary Tyler Moore having a drink ready for Dick Van Dyke. Howard said it was like that.
Howard said his father's job was interesting and he'd have him just sit there starting at people like Larry Storch doing recording work. Howard said he'd tell his mom about going to work and how great it was with the catering. He said his dad would yell at him about how they only had that stuff at Christmas.
Howard said his dad had to take care of the advertising directors. He said he had to suck their balls over there. He said his dad would be acting really nice and he wondered who this guy was.
Howard said his dad would go off on these people on the drive home. He said someone wanted a shrimp salad sandwich and his dad freaked out when he'd ask about it.
Howard said he did like going to work with his dad because he got the bug to be in show business from that. He said he would watch his dad pressing a record too. Richard asked if he has any of those. Howard said he does but they warped out. He said that he'd press one or two so they could take them and play them back at the office. He said he had some big clients there. He said he had all of the bit advertising agencies. He said he's not sure how his dad never had an aneurysm. He said he was always yelling.
Howard said he was very narcissistic and he doesn't even remember his sister being there. He said that his dad had no problem with his sister. He said she was great. He said she wanted to stay in her room and if their mother bothered her she'd just act like she was in college already. Howard said his dad was really nice to her. He said they'd talk about Ellen like she was really trying hard at school. He said his father would wonder why they were bothering with lessons for Howard. He said he doesn't think his father ever called her a moron once.
Howard said it's no wonder he's a mess. Ralph said it's no wonder he's not more of a mess. Robin said he's basically describing himself though. Howard said that's why he had to go to therapy. Richard said most people would just give up. He said he turned it into being a big success. Howard said he did everything to prove his father wrong. He said he called his dad and told him he got offered $28,000 to go to Detroit. He said all of a sudden he wasn't such an idiot. He said his father would tell him to ask for 30,000. He said he did that and they gave him the 30 grand. Howard said then he made his move to New York. He said his father was proud of him for that.
Richard said his parents would be really impressed if the mayor was at his birthday shows. Howard said it was all about impressing the old man. Ralph asked if he was ever impressed by him. Howard said he had to badger him to say he loves him. He said he had to be Superman to be loved by his parents. He said it's just too much pressure.
Howard said his dad got him a car so he could go out and get jobs. He said he was only making $96 a week and his father helped him out with a gas credit card. He said he'd never be mad at him about that. He said that he gave him tips too. He said that he would tell him about not annunciating. Howard said he'd wonder how he was speaking. He said he had a weird accent. He said his dad wanted to speak normal and he was raised by Hungarian parents who had accents. He said that he was trying to speak properly in school. He said he developed his own language.
Howard said his dad grew up in a horrible way. He said they moved every month and he had to figure it all out on his own. He said he went to work at WHOM which turned into K-Rock. He said he was making 25,000 a year. That was big money back then.
Robin asked if they had the big family gatherings at home. Howard said they did. He said the rest of the family was so fucked up they didn't know how to make money. He said his father had a $14,000 house and was making 25,000. He said he loved the family. He said it was fine. He said he got through it. He said it's like going through jail. He could do that standing on his head.
Howard said even his school was run by the state. He said that they were so bad they had to be run by the state. He said they could have moved but they ended up staying there in Roosevelt. Robin said that's crazy. Howard said they toughened him up. He said he thinks his dad just didn't want to let go of that $14,000 house.
Howard said his parents had their shvartza friends in the neighborhood there. He said that he had such a weird upbringing. He said there's nothing like mining that gold mine. Howard said so much happened to him growing up. He said it was a barrel of laughs. Ralph said he talked about that stuff on the Letterman special. He said that he went through a lot. He said he couldn't have done that. Howard said it was pretty crazy. He said he was one of those kids who just learned to please his parents.
Howard said he never thought there was an option to cry or whine about it. He said that's just the way it was. He said he remembers leaving the black neighborhood and he thought about getting out of there alive. He said his father said it was all because of him that they had to leave. He said life wasn't any better in the white neighborhood. He said they disliked him as much as black people did.
Howard said he's helping his parents out and he thinks about moving them back to Roosevelt. He said his parents are something else. Ralph said they are entertaining in retrospect. Howard said his mother will bring up how she heard he was talking about them. Richard asked if they still listen. Howard said he won't get them Sirius. He said about a year ago he was talking to them about it and they didn't even know what it was. He said it's all too complicated for them.
Howard said his mom takes medication and he bought her a pill organizer. He said it breaks down into a pill case and it was like 25 bucks on Amazon. He said he went with Beth to deliver it to her. He said Beth knew it was going to be a problem. He said he should just run it by Beth when he has a bright idea. He said he thought he was doing something cool. Howard said he was waiting with the pill case and waiting for the right moment. He said he pulled it out and showed it to her. He said he had to show her how to open it up. He said he struggled for about half a second to open it and his mother said she didn't want it. Howard said he told her it has to be closed tight or they'll fall out. He said he wasn't able to get it opened. He said you had to squeeze the plastic and open the box. He didn't know that and it was something she didn't want.
Richard said Amazon has a great return policy. Howard said he's not going to return it. He said he already opened it and touched it. He said he hates people who buy stuff and return it like women who buy dresses. He said they buy it, wear it out and return it. Howard said that's a crime. Richard didn't think it was.
Howard said the point of the story was that he needed lessons on how to watch football. He said he likes to watch the game and he can't run around and do stuff. He said his thank you notes were weak because he was writing them while he was watching the game. He said he was cooking and burned his food.
Howard said he heard that Richard made eggs and melted his spatula and ate them anyway. Richard said he did. He said they don't have anymore eggs. He said the top of the spatula was gone and in the eggs. He was like ''screw it.'' Robin said they make spatulas that are silicone and won't melt. Howard said he took some hard cheddar cheese and put it in the eggs. He said it was good. He said he will load eggs on the bread and he'll take a bite of the eggs that aren't on the bread. He said he only had 3 eggs in the house. He said he never eats them and they're not there when you want them.
Richard said he put Tabasco on the eggs and he wasn't able to taste the plastic. He said goat cheese is good with eggs too. Howard said beets are good with goat cheese. Ralph said white cheddar is good.
Howard said he had to go to the emergency room over the weekend. He said he had a pain on his left side toward his back. He said he called his pal who is a doctor and told him how bad it was. He said he was told he might have a kidney stone. He said he didn't think that was fair. He said they had to give him a CT scan on his kidney. Howard said the nurse came out and said that he was FOS which was ''full of shit.'' He said he was just constipated. He said they saw a bunch of doody in there. He said that they think that's what it was. Howard said all of his pain went away after that. He said they told him to drink magnesium citrate. He said he didn't do that. He said there is no good time to do that. He said you don't know when it's going to hit you.
Robin said that you can get in trouble if you get constipated. Howard said his doody came out. He said he's fine. Robin said it can be bad. Howard said they had to put him in a wheelchair in the hospital. He said they had a gown on him and his face was uncovered. He said he had a warm blanket on though. He said they kicked him out of there after that. He said it was like ''This asshole needs to take a shit...'' He said that his wife was with him and she was thinking about him shitting. He said that he can't even shit now that he's old.
Howard said when he takes Beth with him she's so good looking. He said a nurse will walk in and see her and be impressed with him. He said that they'll tell her that she's cute. He said no one ever did that with him. He said men will talk to Beth and not even see him there.
Howard said he was fine after that. He never took that stuff to make him shit. He said he just shit. He said he had a lot of doody in there. He said that he took a big doody. He said his Toto cleaned him out after that. He said he flushed that away and he got his asshole cleaned by the Toto. He said that his ass is able to drink the water and then belch it out. He said that he gets all of the doody out that way. He said he has learned to release and open his asshole. He said the water goes in and he spits it out. Richard asked if he gets any pleasure from that. Howard said not from that. He said he just likes being completely evacuated.
Howard said he used to have to take baby wipes and stick his finger all the way up there. Richard said he has to do that. Howard said he talks to the Toto about how clean his ass is after using it. He said he's pretty water logged after using it. He said the hairs back there are all water logged. Ralph made a gagging sound. Richard asked if they can put that on the app. Howard said no way.
Howard said he didn't get why a Toto was so good. He said once you relax and let the water get in there it goes inside and belches out. Robin said she has never heard of that. Richard asked if remnants come out when you do that. Howard said sure. He said it gets everything out. Howard said he has to do 3 or 4 good belches. He said his asshole is completely clean. He said then he gets off. Richard asked if he can record the audio. Howard said sure he can. He said that Toto should have him teach people how to use it. He said he's not sure people are doing it the right way.
Robin said she doesn't think anyone else does this. Howard said he can teach her. Richard said he'd like to try it there if they can bring in a toilet. Howard said they can't do that. Richard said he's sure the Toto people could send something up. Howard said go buy a Toto. He said it's not that crazy. Robins said they live in a one bedroom apartment with a baby. Howard asked why he did that. He said he bets that they're worth a lot. Richard said they're like 2 blocks from the Amazon building. Howard said he didn't know they bought there. Richard said they have people knocking on their door to buy their place. Howard said they know they need housing there. Richard said they're right by the water too. He said they're going to hang on to it for a while. He said Amazon will open in a couple of years. Robin said he'll hang on to it until all of the demand is gone. Richard said that they're right tin front of the ferry too. He said he loves taking the ferry.
Howard did his Richard impression and then his dad talking about the Amazon thing. Richard said they're excited about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Gary doesn't know anything about the NFL. He told Howard about why the Rams stadium is so empty. He said that it's a big stadium. Gary said the college games fill it up every week. The caller told Howard some other details that made Richard and Gary sound like they don't know anything.
Howard said he gets a lot of email about Gary not really knowing anything. The caller said Gary is great on the show but he sounds like he doesn't know anything when it comes to sports. Howard said he gets a lot of people saying that. Gary said they say that the stadium they play in holds 27,000.
Howard said Jon Hein got a beating in the email over something too. Jon said he didn't make a mistake about something. Howard said he has to be careful with Gary.
Gary was still on the Chargers stadium thing and talking about how it's a 30,000 seat stadium and they don't fill it. Howard said he's not sure if he cares. He said Gary has this authority with his facts like he knows what he's talking about. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody. Howard said that one was kind of mean. He said he didn't like that one from Eli Braden.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what other entertainer would talk about their belching asshole. Howard said he has to ask Jimmy Kimmel about that. He said he was the one who turned him on to the Toto. Richard said he should ask Kid Rock about it too. Howard said he should.
Howard said the way he does it is make a doody and then there's doody left in there. He said he used to reach in with the baby wipes to get that out. He said the water shoots in there and cleans it out. He said his ass makes a little fart sound. He said he can shoot it in and it goes in and comes out at the same time. He said it all comes pouring out.
Robin said she has a Toto and she has never heard of this. Howard said she has to try it. He said there's still doody in there. He said you know there's still some in there. Robin said she doesn't have that issue.
Robin changed the topic and brought up the Rams and the attendance at those games. Howard thanked the caller for the call. The caller said he called to say that he loves when he talks about his parents. He asked what would have happened if he had normal parents. Howard said he's not sure but he would have been happier and more well adjusted. Ralph said he'd be doing something creative and he'd be happy. Robin said he's happy but doesn't know it. Robin said you can't be sad with your life. Howard said he doesn't know about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that he is whining too much about his parents. He said he's constantly doing that. She said that all parents who were the product of the depression sucked. Howard said he never said they sucked. He said that she's annoying so that's why they had a belt. The caller said she doesn't have anger. Howard said he's doing this for entertainment. He said it's called comedy.
The caller said her mom was a product of the depression and they are all crazy. She said they all came out crazy. She said she hopes Howard can get over it. Howard said he's close to getting over it. Howard thanked her for the call.
Howard said this is Cardi B talking about her pussy wedgie. Howard played a clip of her going off about that stuff.
Howard said she has music and she doesn't need all of that. He said he finds it kind of refreshing in a way. Robin said she's not sure where you can take it. She said she's not sure how you progress. Howard said this is how. He played another clip of Cardi talking about why she doesn't shave her legs. She said she doesn't shave under her arms. She said she fucks good though. She said she's the hairiest bitch with the ''bestest'' head out there.
Howard said he thinks he loves her. He played another clip of Cardi talking about emptying out before getting on an airplane. She was talking about taking all of that shit with you. She said it stank too. She said she was twisted from the water or something out there. She said it felt like she got fucked in the ass after that shit.
Howard said she's awesome. Howard said she has her on the phone. He picked up and had fake Cardi on the line talking about trowing up from the smell of her own shit. She said she had her period the other day and that shit was dripping down her leg like syrup. Howard kept her on for a little longer before getting to the even crazier real clips of Cardi.
Howard played another clip of Cardi going off on Trump for serving McDonald's at the Clemson visit to the White House. Cardi went off on him for being disrespectful to them by serving them that shit.
Ralph said the worst is that these posts probably have 9 million likes. Howard had fake Cardi on the line again so he let her tell some more crazy shit stories.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he loves Cardi B. He said whatever she says you understand it. He said that's what makes her unique. Howard said he might start following her. He said he's kind of digging her message. King said she's fine as hell too. He said that if she wasn't then it wouldn't work. Howard said now he's making sense. Howard let King go and thanked Ralph for letting him know about the games. Howard said Cardi has 40.2 million followers. He said he might have to start following her.
Robin said she had her pants pulled down when she had that pussy wedgie. Howard said he didn't see that. Gary said you could sort of see her ass. Howard said he thought she was kind of hot when she was in there.
Howard played another Cardi B clip where she went off on Trump over the government shutdown. She was talking about how serious this stuff is. Howard said he likes it better when she's talking about her pussy wedgie. Ralph said he's kind of digging that one. Howard played more of it. Howard said this could bring Trump down. He said once you lose Cardi B you've lost America. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a 16 year old daughter who started dating a 19 year old she met at work. He asked if he has ever had that kind of experience. Howard said he didn't have that experience. He said that they might date older guys now but a 16 and a 19 year old isn't something he'd like. He said that at that age it's wrong but in a few years it won't matter. He said at that age at 16 he'd say that's too old. He said the 19 year old is thinking a lot faster and quicker when it comes to sex. He said that 16 year olds end up regretting who they had sex with. He said you're running with an older crowd too. Robin said a lot of 16 year olds might not know what the 19 year old knows.
The caller said he's really concerned. He said they are worried if they disapprove that she'll rebel. Howard said your worst thoughts come to you. He said you worry about what they'll be up to.
Howard said when he was 17 or 18 he was dating a 23 year old. He said that's just him though. He said that went on for a couple of months. He said she was the one who broke up with him because she found a guy with a bigger cock. Howard said for her to say that. He said his cock isn't that shabby. He said that there's a web site out there that shows the size of famous guy's cocks. He said he's going to get back to this guy.
Howard told the caller to tell the 19 year old that his daughter has herpes. He said that will solve it. Robin asked if she's acting any differently. The caller said she's a lot happier. He said she's been pretty giddy. Howard said you know where that comes from. He said he got giddy when he met Beth.
Robin asked if they're having any issues with her communicating. The guy said that things are fine with that. Robin said she would have that 19 year old over all the time. The caller said he brought flowers over for her and his wife. Howard said he might be a player. He said he could be a nice kid. Robin said she would have him over to get to know him. Howard said just use the herpes line. He said there's really nothing you can do. He said you don't know what to do with this stuff. He said he wishes he had an answer. He said he really does. He said there is no good answer.
Howard said he has a dad on the phone who went through this. He picked up on the next caller, one of the guys in the back, who said he told the 19 year old he wanted to watch him take his daughter's virginity so they'll be doing that this afternoon. He said he can send him the video.
Howard asked he hopes the kid will be okay. He said he knows a lot of women end up regretting that first guy. He said Robin said she would hang out with the guy. He said he has to take another break. They went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the guy who called in about his 16 year old daughter dating the 19 year old. He said he should sit his daughter down and tell her what the guy might be after. Howard said he likes the rap where you tell her your thoughts. He said you don't know the guy but it is illegal for a 19 year old to be with a 16 year old. He said you never know what it is about guys like that where they can't fine girls their own age. He said he gets it in high school but this guy should be dating a girl closer to his age. He said that he should tell her that it is against the law.
Robin said if Howard was in love with a girl and someone sits you down and tells you that, every girl who is in that situation thinks they're in a love story. She said they don't think anyone understands them. Howard said he doesn't know what to do. Robin said all they're going to hear is that he doesn't understand. Howard said Robin is putting the X on that one. Howard said Beth said that every guy she dated ended up hanging out with her dad.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if Robin has ever thought of adopting and becoming a mom herself. Robin said she wants to adopt herself. Howard said Robin has to take care of herself. He said she knows how to take care of kids but she doesn't have to prove it. Robin said she has taken care of kids and that's all she'll say about that.
Howard said this is another one from the Georgia Gubernatorial debate. He said they had a fire alarm go off during that too. That alarm was very loud. They were in the middle of the debate when it went off. Howard said what's weird about that is that it's like a wrong answer buzzer. He asked what kind of horrible fire alarm that is. Robin said she's not sure she'd respond to that.
Howard said this guy was almost drowned out by a siren. He played that clip and the weather guy was outside doing his report with a siren going off a short distance away. Howard asked why they would do the weather outside. He said it's so stupid. Robin said she likes that they send a reporter outside in the cold like they have there now. Howard said just give a weather forecast.
Howard said if he ran a TV station he'd say just avoid the aggravation. Robin said they expected a big storm this weekend and they had reporters out showing they had salt on the roads. Howard said just check the weather app on your phone and forget the local forecasts.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was 30 years old dating a 16 year old and it was legal. Howard asked how that's legal. Robin asked what the age of consent was. The guy said it was 16. He said he called lawyers to make sure it was legal. He said the mom blew him too. He said they both worked in the same place. He said that she didn't know he was dating her daughter. Howard said ''Congratulations I guess.''
The caller said he had to tell the mother that he was dating her daughter. He said the mother's boyfriend threatened to kill him. He said he had to move out of town a few months later. He asked if he has any games to play today. Howard said not today. He said he's playing his own dangerous game out there.
Howard said that's the theme of most of the porn he watches. Robin said he doesn't like it in real life. Howard said that's right.
Howard said this reporter interviewed a guy near a train track. He played the clip and a train came by as they were doing this interview. The train was blowing its horn the whole time as it was going by.
Howard said the conductor sounded like he was messing around. Fred played some train horn sounds while Howard was talking. Howard was trying to talk and Fred would play it over him.
Howard said that couldn't have been a legitimate thing. He said if you don't hear that train whistle before that then you might deserve to die.
Robin asked if he gets his own breakfast. Dillinger said he gets it at school. He said he goes to a private school. Howard asked if it's inappropriate for a 16 year old to date a 19 year old. Dillinger said nah. Robin asked if he has dated anyone. Dillinger said not yet.
Howard asked if he knows 12x12. Dillinger said not yet. Howard said he knows 9x8. Dillinger said he knows 12x12 is 144. Howard said 9x8 is 72.
Howard asked if he goes to a school for smart kids. Dillinger said it's a smart school. He said his parents must have a lot of dough. Dillinger said yeah. He said his parents work. Howard asked what they do. Dillinger said they're in finance. Howard said that's where the money is. Howard asked what his mother does. Dillinger said she used to be a lawyer but now she works in a cafe. Howard asked if she got busted for something. He said she owns the cafe.
Howard asked what he got for Christmas. Dillinger said he's Jewish. Howard asked what he got for Hanukkah. He said he got a Nerf gun. Howard asked if he got anything else. He said he got some money.
Howard asked what he watches on TV. Dillinger said he likes Impractical Jokers. Howard said he's on a different level than he is. Howard asked what his position is on Trump and the wall. Dillinger said he's not a fan. He said he does want to keep Mexico out though. Howard asked if he has any questions for him. Dillinger asked how old he is. Howard said 40. Dillinger said he is not. He said he's 60-something. He said he's not sure what the number is.
Howard asked what he likes to laugh at. Dillinger said anything Howard says. He said he likes the Beatles interviews. Howard said you can get Beatles or Beetlejuice. Howard said he feels like the parents are feeding the kid answers. He said he wants to talk to a real 8 year old. Howard let Dillinger go after that. Howard said no kid is listening to a Beatles interview. He said they want to hear about shitting and farting.
Howard said that's their slow social experiment. Howard said some stores did refuse to sell her a gun. Howard played a clip of a woman telling Wendy that she can't buy a gun. She said you have to have a driver's license and no charges. Wendy asked if she will sell her a gun. The woman said that is not a good idea to sell to a slow adult. The woman said she needs to go to a gun safety course and learn to buy a weapon. She said this is not a joke. The woman hung up on Wendy.
Howard said that was their social experiment. He said Wendy wants to shoot out her rotten teeth because she can't afford a dentist.
Howard took a call from Marfan Mike who asked something about Memet saying that he shouldn't be a Wack Packer. Howard said don't listen to him. He said Marfan does qualify. He said maybe it's the way he got in. He said they did take a vote. Marfan told Howard to tell Memet to fuck off. Howard did that in his Marfan Mike voice.
Howard played a ''Wack Pack Dating Profiles'' bit where they featured Marfan Mike. They played a 888-9-ASSHOLE jingle before going to break.
Howard said JD wants to film a behind the scenes thing. He said years ago he wanted to do one on Artie and all he did was follow him around with his cell phone. JD said it wasn't a documentary. He said it was video for his web site and that got made. Howard said to make a video for this song he has to do something. He said he has to plan it out. He said they'll put together a budget but he's not sure his work is what he's looking for. JD said some of the things have already been done. He said he thinks the music was made already. Howard asked what has been made. JD said some of the beats and stuff. He said that he thinks it would be cool to get some of the vibe from the studio. He said that's what Metallica did. Howard said he thinks he could do better than JD. JD said he would understand that.
Howard said he wanted Martin Scorsese but he got Martin Scorelazy. He said he's not sure what the vision is there. JD said he's not sure what the process is. Howard said that's what the director would have to know. He said he has to propose it to get a budget. JD said he brought it up and now it's on air.
Howard said he might call Marty Scorsese and have him battle this out with JD. He said he would know what he wants to do. JD said he would be fine with him getting someone else to do it. He said he wouldn't mind being the camera guy. Howard said he went from being the director to being the camera guy. Robin said now he's a grip.
Howard asked JD what his idea is. JD said he liked the Metallica documentaries and he liked one about Slipknot too. He said that it was like a video collage. He said he liked that. Howard said he likes that too. JD said he doesn't see sit down interviews. Howard said that's for sure.
Howard played a song parody about JD after doing an impression of him. Howard said he sees JD making this documentary about him but they'll make a documentary about JD making the documentary. JD said that would be very Meta.
Howard asked JD if he could really do this. JD said he's not sure but he would try. Howard said he's not giving him confidence. JD said he knows Howard's boundaries. Howard said that would be good. He did an impression of JD talking about how maybe he could do it. Howard said it is a good idea. He said maybe JD makes the documentary but does he have a game plan. JD said he would do the game plan when he hears what he'd be allowed to tape and stuff. Robin said he just wants to follow him around and see what the story is. JD said yeah. Robin said that's what he should say. Howard said he has no vision right now. He said that as JD.
Howard said he'll get back to him on this. Fred did his impression of JD as a director before Howard gave up on it.
Howard and Robin were adding names on to her last name so she was Julie Chen R. Kelly Cosby Moonves. Howard did his Les Moonves impression too.
Howard said he's not watching Big Brother because they don't have Caitlyn Jenner on. He said he was excited about that. Robin said she saw one of the housewives is on the show. Howard said he doesn't watch that one. JD said that's the Atlanta one. Howard said he loves that they don't have any humility on those shows. He said he only watches the Beverly Hills Housewives. He said he doesn't like the way they do that but he loves the show.
Howard said the guy who is on Big Brother is Kato Kaelin. He said that guy is famous for living in the guy's house who murdered people... allegedly. He said that's what the guy is famous for. He said now he's mouthing off on Big Brother. JD said he's a comedian now so he has to be funny all the time. Robin said she didn't know he was a comedian.
Howard did some material that Kato could do as the guy who lived in OJ's house. He had him calling himself Kato Dangerfield.
Robin asked if he's funny. JD said that he's not. He said Tom Green is also on it and he's funny. Howard said Kato's big line is that he gets no respect, deservedly. Howard said that guy annoys him. He said he did nothing but live in OJ's house when two people were murdered there. Howard came up with a few more jokes that Kato could use as that guy who lived in that house. It was all OJ related jokes. Howard said that's all he's ever done.
Howard asked who else is on there. Robin said the Mooch is there. Howard asked who else, R. Kelly's gardener? He said the Goldman family must feel like shit about that. He told JD to pull some clips of Kato being funny. He said that he worked as a radio host on KLSX after the murders too. He said he hates that. Howard said they think anyone can do radio.
Howard asked if he tried to apologize. Gary said the guy sent him steaks. He said he ate them. He said returning them meant more work for him. Howard said he heard he's been to his vacation house. Gary said he has. He said this whole thing is very upsetting to him. Howard asked if he's going to run into him at events. Gary said not really. He said that if he's not friends with him then he won't be in his circle. Robin asked why he has to stop being friends with him. Gary said she'd do the same thing if someone did that to her. Howard said Gary's right.
Gary said not everything is for the air. Robin said she has to think this through. Robin said Gary should have shared that story himself. Gary asked why she doesn't tell them every dumb thing she does. Robin said she told the story about shitting her pants. She said Gary knew that was too good not to come out.
Fred did his Gary impression talking about dropping this friend. Howard said people wrote in about that. He read some of the mail about that and someone agreed it wasn't cool of the friend to rat him out. Howard said someone wrote in about the repairing of the rim. Gary said he's giving back the money for the pinball machine and the rim and more. He said he's giving it back in cash. Howard asked how he's getting it back to him. Gary said they have a mutual friend. Howard said he gets why Gary is pissed. Robin said she would go back in person and do it. Howard asked if Mary is friends with his wife. Gary said yes. He said they would only see each other if they went out together. Howard said she won't see his wife anymore. Gary said he doesn't want to get into it.
Howard read more email about the scratched rim and how $2000 was too much for one rim. Howard said people are pissed at Jason for being the office rat. Gary said that Jason said he wouldn't have done that if he knew it was going to ruin a friendship. Howard said that someone wrote in that the U-turn was a bit of a stumble. He said that's a good one.
Howard said he got so many positive emails for Jackie Tohn's song about Robin. Robin said that song is too good. Howard read some of the email he got about that song parody. They played the song Howard and Robin were talking about. Robin said that is the bar. She said if you're going to write something...
Howard asked who Jackie Tohn is. Gary said she's on GLOW. He said she's been on the Wrap Up Show. Howard asked how she hooked up with Eli Braden. Gary said he'll have to find out. He said he was told that a bunch of Superfans of the show hang out in L.A. and that's how Eli met her.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what's different between this and what Gary did to Memet on air about his texts. Gary said that the girlfriend sent them the texts. Gary said that she gave them something to talk about. The caller said that's the same thing that Jason did with what he got. He said maybe Memet wasn't cool with it. Howard said Memet should be mad at his girlfriend. Robin said Gary isn't mad at Jason. Howard said Gary's point is that he can't trust this guy who sent them the information.
Howard read more email about Sal and Ronnie. He had someone saying they want less Ronnie. Howard said a fellow water color painter recommends the book that Sal got him for his birthday. Howard said they got a lot of praise for Richard's prank call for his birthday.
Robin asked if he saw Saturday Night Live this week. Howard said not yet. Robin said they had a bit about changing your name and how the office is back logged because of the government shutdown. Robin said that it was really funny but she though it was like what they do with names. Howard read some email about the Sebastian Maniscalco interview. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Howard said they have some men on the Mr. Man small penis list. He said he thinks some of them might be wrong. He said Terrene Howard is on the list. Howard said this guy might have a tiny one. He said he has a small one but Leo Di Caprio might have an okay one. He said Jude Law is fine. Robin said she saw Jude in person and it's fine. Howard read about some of the others on the list. He said most of them are normal looking. Howard said they have a big dick list too. Howard checked out that list too.
Howard showed Robin some of the pictures. They had one of Liam Neeson that made Robin wonder how he walks.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a creepy song parody where some guy was telling her to drink his pee. Howard said that's Reverend Alan. He said that was a good one. Robin said it was not. Howard said that guy is on a watch list now.
Robin read a story about an obese passenger who was on a plane and made some unusual requests to the flight crew. Robin said he asked to be moved where 3 seats were vacant. Then he insisted he be allowed to use the bathroom in the business section. Robin said he insisted he be wheeled up here. Robin said then he was asking the crew to help him remove his pants and underwear and then asked them to wipe him. Howard said if he was disabled he'd see what he could get away with. Robin wondered what the flight crew did. Howard said wiping him would be a big line to cross. Robin said after doing this one of the attendants cried and vomited. Howard said that's what he'd do. Robin said she doesn't know what you're supposed to do. Howard said jump out of the plane. Robin said she would get out of it somehow.
Robin read a story about a woman in a vegetative state having a baby. Robin said she has been laying there being taken care of and then she had a baby. Robin said now they say that some of the people who work there have been suspended or removed and they are doing DNA tests on every person who works there. Howard said that's some origin story. Robin said they don't say what the baby's condition is. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the weather forecaster who messed up Martin Luther King's name. She said that has been happening again and again. She said a lot of people were saying MLK day instead. Robin said a guy on the Today Show was very proud of being able to say it without incident. Robin had some of the people who screwed up the name by saying ''Martin Luther Koon.'' Robin had one guy apologizing for screwing up. Robin had more people screwing up the name. Howard asked if that guy got fired. Robin said she doesn't think so. She said that she doesn't have an apology from the guy in Orlando. Howard did a live commercial read after that story.
Robin had some audio from Saturday Night Live with that bit that she mentioned to him earlier. Howard said he liked that Peter Felia name. Robin said she thought this was just like what Richard was doing.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he followed up on the Chris Cornell tribute. Howard said he didn't. The caller said that Jimmy was there and came out with a Baba Booey and a Hit 'em with the Hein. Howard said he would have love to have seen that show but they did it in L.A. He said he loves Chris Cornell. He said he wishes he could have been there to perform ''Black Hole Sun.'' The caller said that he thinks Peter Frampton and Soundgarden covered that one at the end of the concert. Howard said he should do his own tribute. He said he is going into the studio with Mark Ronson so he may have to do that. He said he likes a bunch of Soundgarden songs. He said he does Black Hole Sun like a pirate. Howard sang some of it and then Fred played the song. Howard sang along with that too. He thought he did a good job with that.
Howard said that Lars was stunned by Miley Cyrus' cover of a song. Howard said he went to dinner with Lars and his wife one night. He asked if he ever told Robin that. Robin said he did not. She said she didn't know that he had a wife. Howard said he hopes he has a wife.
Howard read about some of the other songs that were performed at the tribute concert. Robin said that someone told her about Dave Grohl's drumming and how heavily he hits them. Howard had Fred play a Soundgarden song. Howard asked why JD didn't pull any of the tribute songs. JD said it wasn't broadcast. Howard said he's fired. Fred was playing ''The Day I Tried to Live'' so Howard just let that play. Howard said he can't believe JD didn't pull anything. JD said it wasn't a priority. He said that people were just posting what they got with their phones. He said he has stuff he has to work on today and he'll pull that for tomorrow. Howard said he doesn't need the whole concert. Howard said maybe they should play the whole concert.
Robin read a story about this woman who had the baby and how she's been in a coma since she was 3 years old and it's been 26 years. Robin asked if you can imagine that. Robin said someone might be married to someone who raped that woman. Robin said now they're waiting for DNA results to clear people.
Robin said Pete Davidson has been killing it on Saturday Night Live lately. Robin said this week included. She said he did a great bit on Saturday Night Live this weekend with another comedian on Weekend Update. Robin said he also talked about the thing everyone was concerned about over the holidays. Robin had a clip of Pete talking about the threat of ending his life he made not too long ago. Robin said she thinks he's alright and she hopes he is.
Robin read a story about MLK day and President Trump showed up at the memorial on the Mall at the Washington Monument. Robin said they say that was a surprise. Robin said they hadn't announced they were going to be there.
Robin read a story about some kids from Covington Kentucky getting into some kind of thing with a native American. Robin had some audio of the confrontation between the guy and the kids. Howard said he can't find that. Robin said everything is in disarray. Howard finally found the clip where the kids were chanting over the Native American guy who was banging a drum and chanting. Howard said this is his alarm in the morning. He said that wakes him up every day. Howard said that's like those people who are doing the tomahawk chop movement with their hands. Robin said the chief from that thing in Washington spoke out after that. Robin had that audio to play. Robin said if you see someone protesting how about just keep moving. Robin said now they're planning on having extra security at the school where those kids were from. JD said they canceled classes today. Robin said now the kids aren't safe. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the kids there were wearing Make America Great Again hats. Robin said that Bernie Sanders was out saying that the president is a racist and that's what those hats represent. Howard said that guy has so much energy. He said he doesn't have half the energy of that guy and Bernie is older than he is. Howard said the guy is in good shape.
Robin read a story about a police officer saving the lives of four people. Robin read about this cop who was called to a house party where they had 4 overdoses. Robin said this deputy sheriff came in and gave them Narcan which saved their lives.
Robin read a story about Microsoft calling on people who have a Windows 10 phone to get something new. Robin said they're asking them to get something so they can stop supporting it.
Robin read a story about Kamala Harris has announced she's running for president of the United States. Howard said he saw Memet do a ''LOL'' about that. Howard asked why he would do that. Gary said Memet says she doesn't have a chance. Robin said anyone can run. Howard said Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama barely had a chance. Memet came in and said he knew people were going to be triggered by that comment so he deleted it. He said he's impulsive. Howard said he's sure Trump is surprised that he won. He said Memet must know something. Memet said he shouldn't tweet politics. Howard said he heard that he defended the Covington kids. Memet said they found out that it was a fake story. He said that it wasn't real at all. He said the kid's lives are ruined now. He said there were Black Israelites who were yelling at the students and they started yelling back. Howard said he's not sure what he's talking about.
Howard asked what's up with Memet wanting a picture with a celebrity in his neighborhood. Memet said that it's some guy from a movie he sees there all the time. He said he doesn't want to bother him for a picture. Howard said Memet is so busy. Memet said he just asked if it would be wrong to take one and the guy thought it was nice. He said his name is Tom something.
Robin read about the Oscar nominations being announced. Robin had some audio of the nominees being announced. Howard didn't know a lot of the movies mentioned so Gary and Robin had to fill him in. They had the best actor, best actress announcements too.
Robin read a story about how this weekend R. Kelly and Sony Records have agreed to part company. Howard said he's sure that R. Kelly wasn't happy about that. Robin said it was probably a lawyer who came up with that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about his opening song with curse words and everything. He said Rob Zombie is a rebel for doing that. Robin said he's one of the biggest. Fred played some ''Hey Now'' clips and Howard repeated that. He said that's the greatest.
Howard said they're working their asses off there doing another live show. He said they work on nonsense 24/7. He said he has a whole team back there working on it. He said it's great to be part of this organization.
Howard said just yesterday they pretended to be Ivanka Trump and called into a talk show. He said they all looked at one another and said ''More nonsense.'' He said their jobs are so stupid there. He said they wonder why they're doing this. He said he has a headache from that song. He yelled at it to shut up. He said it should fade down.
Howard said they are up to nonsense. He said this is the call he was talking about. He played the call that fake Ivanka made to a call in show. Fake Ivanka said she was calling in to give people a way to cut down on expenses during the government shutdown. She suggested a garage sale. She also said she was getting an enema while she was on the phone. Ivanka said dine at home instead of going out to eat. Ivanka kept farting wet farts while she was giving these suggestions. She suggested that people donate kidneys to make money during the shutdown. The host of the show said she would never do that. Ivanka let out some more farts. The host hung up on her and thanked her for calling in.
Howard asked if there's anyone out there without a show. He said it sounds like ham radio. He said the nonsense just goes on and on.
Howard wondered how Brent's wife's implants came out. He said they'll have to find out. Fred played Ronnie saying ''Natural juices'' and Howard goofed on that a bit.
Gary came in and said he's betting on Brent in this. He said he thinks that Brent is really tuned into his wife because he has to be to keep that thing going. He said he's putting his money on them to win.
Howard said they'll have Ronnie and Brent in the game. Brent came in and said that he has really had to get down and have some deep conversations with his wife. He said that they're going to win this thing.
Howard said Brent and his wife are the worst swingers. He said they haven't swung yet. Brent said that they are working on it. Howard said no one is swinging with them yet. He asked what's going on with that. Brent said they're getting there. Howard asked how the new tits are. Brent said it went great and they're good. He said she went to Florida for the implants. Howard said the best doctors are in New York. Brent said the best tittie doctor is in Tampa. He said he has known this guy his whole life. He said he's seen his work and it's amazing. He said she got silicone implants. He said he obsessed over the positioning and the shoulder width so they look amazing. He said he's known this guy his whole life. He said he would not trust anyone else to do it. Brent said he didn't get a discount or anything. He said he paid for everything. He said he's not sure if the guy gave him a break on anything.
Howard asked what it cost. Brent said it was just under $7,000. He said the estimate was 8-10000. He said that her implant failed so they got some money back. He said she got a 585 cc implant. Howard said that's a lot of CCs. Brent said it is. He said it's over a D-cup. He said she'll be a double or triple D. Gary asked if that's not too big. Brent said no way. He said she's 5'8'' and she's athletic so they'll fit her good.
Howard asked if he can do missionary with that. Brent said he can. He said she had the operation last week and she had to stay down there to get some checks done and things like that. He said she had to have two post-op appointments to make sure everything was good.
Gary asked how she gets money back on an implant that failed. Brent said they have serial numbers on them so they know where they came from. Gary asked how they got the money back. Brent said it's the manufacturer. He said one hardened and one failed so they went back to them.
Howard said Brent thinks he can win this game. Brent said Ronnie and his fiancee are great together. Ronnie came in asking how he knows. He said this is bullshit. Ronnie said this is a sex game. Howard said it's not a sex game. Ronnie said he didn't agree to a sex game. Howard said it's a game show. He said it's not a sex game.
Ronnie said that they won the last time they played this game. Robin asked why he's getting so angry. Ronnie said it's bullshit. Gary said he didn't say anything about Ronnie. He said he just thinks that Brent is tuned into his wife. Ronnie told him to bet on him then.
Robin said she was going to bet on Ronnie but now she's not sure. Ronnie said it became a wrestling match. Gary said he made it that. Brent said they have a competition and they'll find out who will win. Brent said he thinks that he has this argument kind of thing with Stephanie so he can avoid having conversations with her.
Ronnie was yelling over everyone when they were trying to talk. Ronnie said bet on Brent and his wife. He said they seem to know everything. Howard said Ronnie isn't listening. He said this is a Newlywed game and not a sexual game. Ronnie said bet on Brent.
Jason came in and said a lot of people are betting on Ronnie. He said most think Brent and his wife, Katelyn, can win. Jason said Shuli changed his mind this morning and he's now on Ronnie.
Howard asked why he changed. Jason said he'd have to ask Shuli. Shuli came in a short time later and said he thinks that Stephanie knows everything about Ronnie because she doesn't want to piss him off. Howard said it's like walking around a land mine. He said he'll go off on her. Shuli said Katelyn is so aggressive that she doesn't think about Brent the way Stephanie thinks about Ronnie. He said that Ronnie also does things for Stephanie to make her happy and they've also been together a long time.
Jason said that Chris Wilding thinks that Ronnie has no chance at all. Ronnie said of course. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie likes to find reasons to get pissed off for no reason. Howard said he came in there so pissed off. He said he has to explain what he hears on radio. He said that he's not sure what's wrong with Ronnie. He said he has zero comprehension. Howard said Jason should change it to Newlywed Game so Ronnie doesn't have an aneurysm.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that angry outbursts are an indicator of senility. Howard said he has to chill out. Ronnie said he doesn't have to. Howard said he's yelling about shit that he doesn't have to yell about.
Chris Wilding came in and Ronnie said he wants to hear what he has to say. Howard said he'll let him know when to talk. Chris said that he hangs with Brent and his wife and they seem to love each other. He said that Ronnie and Stephanie don't seem to have that. He said Ronnie is angry. Ronnie said he's never hung out with them. He said he did a stupid piece on him. He said it was about their fucking Christmas lights. Chris said he's constantly yelling at his wife and never listens to her. He asked how she can compete with him ever. Ronnie said he knows nothing about her even though they've been together for 12 years. Chris said he doesn't think he can even get hard. He said he's a lip dick, angry old fool. Howard said that's enough of that.
Howard said Chris thinks that Brent and Katelyn can win this game. Ronnie said he doesn't give a shit about anybody. Howard said if he put money on Ronnie can he win. Ronnie said no. He said Brent is going to win. Howard said he thinks that Ronnie can win. Ronnie said he doesn't know anything. The guys said they got Ronald. HE's getting serious now. Ronnie said figure it out for yourself.
Howard asked Brent if he and his wife are boning up. Brent said he's finding out what her favorites are. He said he knows her very well though. He said they've lived in close quarters since 2013.
Brent said that when you're swingers you have to have a deep down conversation with the person. Ronnie asked what that has to do with anything. Howard said that's a good question. Chris explained it to them.
Memet came in and said that both of them are lug heads. He said he knows that he could win if he and his girlfriend played. He said he's only been with her for 4 months. Howard said he has said that he loves her on Instagram. Brent said he knows her better than these guys do. Brent said that's ridiculous. Memet said that Brent is like an idiot savant so he will win. He said with Ronnie it goes in one ear and out the other. Howard said that's a good point.
Memet said that he has a list of things that every man should know about his wife. He asked Ronnie what his anniversary date is. Ronnie didn't answer. He said he knows the answer. He said it's May 4th. Memet said that he was looking for the answer. Howard had him ask another. Memet asked what Stephanie's favorite song is. Ronnie said it's a Kesha song. He said he doesn't know the name of it. Memet said he didn't even know the anniversary date.
Memet asked Brent some questions and he had his answers immediately. Memet said that means he can win this thing. Howard asked what Memet's favorite movie is. Memet said it's the Mr. Rogers documentary. Howard said that just came out. Ronnie said after all these years that's her favorite. Memet said it is. Brent said that he has to live with her for a few years before he can play this game. Memet said they would wipe the floor with these idiots. Brent said he hasn't put enough time into it.
Howard said Memet thinks that Brent is going to win. Memet said that Brent is going to get a lot more answers than Ronnie.
Chris said that with Ronnie it's his way or the highway and there's no way they can win. Howard said he's thinking about his bet. He said if he goes in he's going all in on his horse. He said he loves both of them but he has to pick the right one.
Memet said that he'd bet with more than one person. He said he's that confident. Shuli asked if he's willing to put up his hair for that bet. Howard said no one is betting their hair. He said Shuli just wants his hair.
Howard asked Sal who is going to win. Sal said if Memet was in it he'd pick Memet. He said he has pulled some tricks before. He said between Ronnie and Brent he would go with Brent. He said that Ronnie isn't fully invested in knowing everything about Stephanie. He said if a girl is eating your ass then they are fully invested. Howard said Stephanie does that. Sal said that she may not be doing it willingly. He said he thinks she does it to keep Ronnie quiet.
Jason said he would bet on Ronnie. He said he thinks that Ronnie is going to win this thing. He said he thinks they've been together so long and he just thinks that they know each other.
Howard took a call from Competitive Brent who said that Ronnie is going down. He was going on and on like real Brent talking about that stuff.
Memet said he'll take the bet with Jason. Jason went for that. Howard said that maybe they should put the winner of this thing up against Memet. Howard asked Robin if they should put Memet into it. Jason said if they're all arguing then it's going to be a lot to take. Memet said that he'll take on the champion.
Howard asked Ronnie what's going on because he's quiet all of a sudden. Ronnie said that he didn't think this was going to be a wrestling match. He said you don't have to make a whole big deal out of this. Everyone laughed at that comment. Ronnie said he didn't have to tear him apart. He asked why Memet was even in there. Howard said he asked him to come in. He said they're betting on them. Howard said they're trying to figure things out.
Howard said he is gathering evidence. He said if you bet on a football game you look at the stats. Ronnie said they don't call people in for that. Howard said these are his experts. Jason said this is a radio show and they have to say things out loud. Ronnie said he knows that.
Howard asked Ronnie how he saw this segment going. Ronnie said it's going great. Howard said he wants to know how he thought this was going to go. Ronnie said they don't have a pre show for this stuff. He said just make your fucking bet and get it over with. Everyone laughed again. Howard asked why he's so upset. Ronnie said he's not upset. Ronnie said he's senile.
Howard said Memet says Brent will win. Chris is going with Brent. Sal says Brent will win. Jason is going with Ronnie.
Ronnie said he already won this once. Howard asked who he did it against. Jason said it was Benjy and Elisa.
Jason asked if they can bet something bigger like if Brent loses can Ronnie and Stephanie have a threesome with Katelyn. Brent said no way. Howard said they're not betting like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Brent is wrong for letting his wife do this surgical intervention. Robin said they're in the bizzaro zone on this. Howard hung up on the guy.
The guys asked Robin what she's thinking with this. Robin said she's undecided right now. She said she was thinking Ronnie but even he's not that confident. Gary said some of them aren't that confident on Brent because he's been that confident in other things that he didn't end up winning.
Howard asked JD what he thinks. JD said he thinks Ronnie will win. He said he doesn't know Brent and his wife that well.
Howard said he heard that JD won't let his wife on air and she wants to be on air. JD said she loves attention so of course she wants to be on air. He said he's not getting involved in this though. Howard asked when she said she wants to be on air. JD said whenever this kind of thing comes up. JD said he wants to have a separate life. He doesn't want to bring it on air. Chris asked why he married a fan then. JD told him to shut up. Jason said JD was lying about her not wanting to go on the air. JD said that was the case before. Jason said she wants to be on the air now. He said he started asking JD and JD put his foot down. JD said that he told Jason and Will that if they want to talk to her then go right ahead and whatever. Memet asked if he's protecting her or himself. JD said both.
Howard asked if Ronnie thinks that he could beat JD. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He was being really mellow now so Shuli yelled at him the wake the fuck up. He said he wants to bet on him and he has to get something out of him. Howard said he just wants to know if he thinks he can beat them. Ronnie said he's answering the question. Howard said in the car he talks to him about stuff and he has tons of answers. Ronnie said he never talked about this in the car. Howard said he has opinions in the car. He said he never talked about this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this game is going to put Ronnie in his grave. Ronnie said it is not. The caller said that this is Ronnie's core of his life and even if he knows Stephanie really well he has never been able to articulate that to them. He said he's not articulate. Ronnie went off on that guy and told him to go fuck himself. The caller had mentioned something about Ronnie saying Stephanie had a fat head or something and that set Ronnie off. Ronnie kept telling him to fuck off. The caller said Chris' reporting led to them talking about how Ronnie said Stephanie has an ''ugly head.'' Ronnie said get it straight.
Gary said Memet already got his girlfriend's favorite movie wrong. He said he got a text saying that it's actually ''Harold and Maude.'' Memet said that Mary is wrong and she doesn't know what she likes. Ronnie said that he's fucked up. Gary said she wrote that they would lose because he doesn't know her answer. Memet said to tell her to stop texting because he doesn't need her help right now.
Howard said calm down. He said next week is a battle royale between Ronnie, Stephanie and Brent and Katelyn. He said she'll be in with her new titties. He said that's it. Robin asked if Ronnie understands the game. Howard said try not to have a stroke over this. He said it's just a game.
Howard said he just wants to bet on the game. Ronnie said do it then. Shuli asked if he bets on him is that money gone. Ronnie told him to do whatever he wants. He said bet on Brent.
Howard said on a straight bet between these two, Brent and Ronnie, he's going to bet on Ronnie. Shuli said he's on Ronnie too. Brent said he'll take that bet. Memet said he'll take that bet too. He said he's got that $100 with all three of them. Robin was betting Ronnie too. Memet said he'll go 200 with Robin. Memet said he has 500 all in. He has Shuli, Howard, Jason and Robin. Howard asked Chris who he wants. Chris said he's taking Brent. Howard took his bet. Howard told Ronnie not to fuck up and make him look bad. Shuli said he has to win. He said he believes in him.
Memet said he wants his cash that day. Howard said he will have it. He said he's still saying that if they get anyone else in on this that between Ronnie and Brent he's betting on Ronnie. Gary said they could have JD and Memet go against each other in another game and have the winners of the two go up against each other.
Howard said that the cat is going to be out of the bag if JD's wife comes in. He asked if he's going to let her take her burka off. JD let out some odd sound. Ronnie told him to stand up for himself. JD said if it's something she wants to do then he won't deny her. He said he would prefer not to do it.
Howard asked Ronnie if he could beat JD. Ronnie said yes. Howard said that's what he wants to hear.
Brent said he saw JD's wife doing Power Cleans and she's very strong. Howard said he heard that Brent's wife wants to do JD's wife. Howard asked if JD would let her do that. JD said things are weird with people from work. He said he's not going to do that. JD said that he doesn't know. Howard said Brent's wife hit on almost every wife at the Christmas party.
Howard took a call from fake JD's wife who was mumbling and not able to get anything out just like JD. Howard said she's sounding a lot like JD now. She was hooting and laughing like JD. Howard said he was surprised to learn that she can power clean really well. She let out some more hoots.
Howard said he's excited about the game. Ronnie said he is too. Howard said he has money on him. Ronnie said he's ready. Robin said she's scared for JD. She said he wants that separate life. Ronnie said JD doesn't want it but he won't come out and say it. JD said he did say it. He said he's not like a fucking dictator or whatever.
Gary said he got a text from JD's wife. He said she says she respects JD's wishes and she will not be on the air. Robin said now she's upset with JD. Gary said that she did say she would love it if she could go on the air but she respects JD's wishes. The guys were all goofing on JD over that. JD said if she wants to come on then she can come on. He said he's done fighting. Shuli said he's fighting himself.
Howard said he likes that Gary is texting with everyone's wife. He said even when Robin was dating Mr. X he came on the air. Everyone's wife has been on. Sal said he and his wife were on and they get along just great. He said she shot his ass with a paintball gun.
Some of the guys thought that JD should bring her on the air. Howard said he's posting pictures of her out there.
Howard asked Fred who he's going with in this game. Fred said he's picking Ronnie. He said he thinks they can pull it off.
Brent said that just listen to Ronnie's proposal. He said that wasn't tender or loving. Shuli said that they could say that about Brent and his wife going out and eye fucking other people while your wife is with some other dude.
Howard said they're calling it the Newly-Wet Game even though it's not a sexual game. He said it's a match game. He said he has a lot of money on Ronnie and his wife. He said he's just going with his instinct. He said he loves Brent too.
Howard said they have to figure out if Memet can play this game. He said he thinks he knows more about his girlfriend after 4 months than these guys do after years. Memet said he didn't miss the movie. He said that she forgot. Memet said that she got it wrong. Ronnie said Memet is fucked up. Brent said he and Ronnie agree on that. Memet said he's going to make $500 because Ronnie doesn't know his fiancee.
Howard said JD's wife offered her followers a yoga promo code out there. He said that she's some kind of influencer. Ronnie said it has nothing to do with the show. Ronnie said that JD doesn't want her doing it on the air. Howard said she wants to monetize that so maybe she could do it on the air. JD was trying to say something but he stumbled trying to get it out. JD said he hasn't mentioned this stuff on the air. Ronnie said JD is pissed off and he doesn't blame him. He said this is what life he wants. He said he wants a private life. He said he's not doing anything about the show on twitter. Howard said he's doing it on Twitter so it is in public.
Howard asked if JD thinks he can beat Brent or Ronnie. JD said he has no idea. He said he thinks he knows his wife pretty well. He said she's no sure what her favorite movie is. JD said he doesn't have any favorites. He said he likes a lot of movies.
Howard asked Gary to have JD's wife tell him what her favorite movie is. Gary said Stephanie said that they will win so everyone bet on them. Robin said that's what they want to hear. Howard said that's the attitude to have. Shuli told him to wake up and get in the game.
Gary said Memet's girlfriend just let him know what her birthday is. Memet said that it's July 10th. Gary said that's wrong. Memet said he told her to stop texting. He said knowing someone's birthday doesn't mean that you know someone that well. Gary asked what her favorite color is. Memet said that doesn't matter. He said her favorite color is pink. Gary said it's red. Memet said that she's doing this to mess with him. He said this is how she does it. He said she messes around. Howard asked when her birthday is. Gary said it's July 19th. Memet said she's messing with him.
Memet said he can tell you what's in her mind. He said it's loving him. Howard said Memet doesn't know shit. Memet said that she's messing around with him. Memet said that they're making him sound crazy. Ronnie said they already know he's crazy. Memet said that pink is her favorite color. Gary said they asked her that and she gave them answers. Memet said those are superficial things. Howard said he's goofing on the other guys over that stuff. He said he got every question wrong.
Shuli said that Memet is so into himself that every answer has to do with him. Gary asked Memet what state she was born in. Memet said California. Gary said that's right. Gary said that he has JD's wife's favorite movie. Howard asked JD what he thinks. JD said Titanic. Gary said it's The Empire Strikes Back.
Howard said he will try to get JD and Memet in this game but he has to talk to JD about it. Howard said he'll ask him on the air now. JD said he has to talk to the wife when he gets home. Howard asked what he's nervous about. JD said a lot of things. He stammered out his answer. Howard said this is what it's like back there. Howard said he understands what he's saying. He said this does cross a new line. He asked if he wants to hold off on this. JD said he will discuss it when he gets home. Howard said look at him. He said he's not trying to convince him either way. He said he knows he has issues. Robin said she wants to convince him to do it. Howard said his mental health is more important to him. He said if it feels that it's going to push him over the edge then he won't make him do it. He said if he really doesn't want to do it then he won't push him to do it. He said he's with him. Howard kept telling him to look at him. JD was looking somewhere else. Howard said if this is something private he wants then he won't make him do it.
Howard said he has shared everything else on the air but he won't do this. Howard said this is his marriage. Robin said she's not sure what doing a Newlywed game can do to a marriage. Robin said his wife wants to be on the air for a couple of hours or whatever. JD said they can live on through video and the internet. He said it could affect her job and she could get harassed online. Robin said he's imagining things. She said they can't control things that happen online. Robin said they all get that there.
Howard said he likes how this is going. Howard said there are a lot of questions up in the air. Gary said that he just wants to say that Memet's girlfriend sent a copy of her passport and her birthday is July 19th. Memet said this is her sense of humor. Gary asked what her favorite song is. Memet said it's George Michael ''Careless Whisper.'' Gary said it's actually a Beethoven song. Memet said he has to talk to her off the air. Memet thanked Mary for fucking everything up. Howard said that his relationship is so fucked up that he was complaining that she won't let him like pictures of other women on Instagram. Memet said that every guy does that there.
Howard said he doesn't even know his girlfriend's birthday. Memet said he hasn't been with her on her birthday. He said that everything they've experienced together is what they know.
Howard said Memet will lose if he plays. Memet said he will not. He said she's just messing around and giving the wrong answers. He said at the end of the day they are solid.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she follows JD's wife online and she's doing a lot of stuff in public. She said she's doing all of this stuff and JD won't let her on the show. Howard said it may open up a different world for her and JD is afraid of that. The caller said she thinks that his wife is beautiful. She said she thinks they need to get her on the show. Howard said she sounds like her biggest fan.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what happened to Memet. She said he used to be normal back in 2017 and now he's the biggest cunt. Memet said that this woman calls in all the time. He said she's obsessed with him. Howard asked if she's attracted to him. She said that she's not attracted to him. She said she likes a man who gets hard. Memet said he wouldn't be able to with her because he's sure she's hideous.
Howard said he's not sure how this turned into a war. Howard said he's not sure Memet would do very well in this game. Memet said he's just saying that he'd do better than Ronnie in this game and he's only known this girl for 4 months.
Gary said he's looking at the bets and 95 percent of them are Memet. He asked if he has $500 to lose. Memet said he does. He said that's all he has to lose. Sal said if Memet plays he thinks he will win.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that JD should not let his wife go on the air. She said you can not rewind that. She said that he will regret it. Shuli said she's not coming in to do porn. He said she's coming in to play a game. The caller said they will replay it over and over again. Howard asked JD if he's being influenced by this. JD said that stuff is already in his head. He said he is well aware. The caller told JD not to do it. He said his wife does not have skin in this game. Howard said she wants it though. Brent said she's a public figure. He said she has social media accounts. The caller said she may regret it. Chris said that it's up to her so let her do it if she wants to.
Robin wondered why JD would object to it if it's something she wants to do. JD said if she wants to come on the show so bad she can come on and fuck everything. Howard said she seems to like the idea of coming in. He said if it's going to upset JD then maybe not. Howard asked what he envisions being the worst thing to happen. JD said she may not be available next week anyway. He said he's texting her now.
Chris said JD met her because she's a fan of the show. He said he thinks that JD is thinking that if other guys see her and become aware of her then she might go for someone else. JD said everything is fine and that's not it. The caller said that once you have that stuff out there then you're a sound byte. Shuli asked what kind of questions they think they're going to ask. Howard said it's not sexual. He said it's a straight up Newlywed Game. The caller said you know they're going to ask other stuff.
Howard took a call from Hulk who said he has to hear JD's wife to find out why she fucks JD. Then Hulk turned into Dr. Banner and said Memet is kind of an asshole. Howard spent a minute talking to him about having JD's wife on the air. Banner said that he thinks it would be great. Then he turned into Hulk again and said he wants JD's wife to fuck Katelyn. He said Hulk is horny.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that caller has to shut up. He said this has to happen. Howard said it's just a regular Newlywed Game. He said he doesn't want it to go horribly wrong for him and have JD hold it against him. He said he'd rather have him hold it against Robin. Robin said she can take it.
Howard said JD will talk it over with his wife and they'll find out. JD said she's a little tied up at the moment. Howard asked if there is some small part of JD who wants to promote her career. JD said not necessarily. He said she's not an influencer. Howard said she is going down that path. He said that's her business and not his. JD said that people probably stalked his Instagram and then followed her. Chris said that he announced his engagement on Twitter. He said he did but he didn't tag her in it. JD asked them to just leave him alone.
The caller said it's not sexual and it's just a game. Howard said he's not sure what Ronnie got so upset about. The caller said he's not sure what JD is worried about either.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he gets that JD is insecure about this whole thing. He said that he's with that Fruity Wilding guy on this.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said shame on her for wanting to get on the air. She said don't do it to JD. Howard hung up on her.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Memet should be in on this game. She said she doesn't get how he's validating getting them wrong. Howard said he thinks that he just wants in on the game. The caller also told Ronnie to have some confidence.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that they should not let Memet in the game because he will ruin it. Memet said that everyone was getting questions wrong.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Memet is trying to work on his self awareness but he has to stop starting every sentence with ''Listen!'' Howard said good point.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if JD is feeling used by his wife wanting to get on the air. JD said not necessarily. Jim said he did kind of use the show. JD told Jim to shut up. Howard asked if he would prefer that she get off of Twitter and Instagram. JD said whatever. He said it's her life so whatever. Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. Ronnie said JD just doesn't want to play the game and have her on the air. He said that once she comes on the air it's not going to be a good thing for him.
Jason said that he spoke to JD about it and he hates that she's on social media. He said he hates it. Jim said he's a private guy. Howard said he's going to let JD do whatever he wants. He said he will talk to him privately. Robin said now she doesn't want him in the game. JD said he will know by tomorrow.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that JD tagged his wife in his birthday post on Instagram on her birthday. Howard said that's interesting. JD said he's not throwing anyone under the bus but yes. Chris said that means she wanted to be tagged. Howard said she wants to be on the Newlywed Game. Shuli said just give her a taste and we'll see if she wants more.
Robin said she didn't know this meant so much to JD. Ronnie said that it really does. Howard said this is like a vampire who can make you live forever but you have to let him do it. He said once you make her a vampire then it's never going to end. Howard asked if JD is worried that she'll be too famous from the show. JD said this is more about protecting her. Robin said she's not wanting to protect herself. JD said that this is just the way he is. Robin told JD to bite her already.
Ronnie said JD is getting more and more pissed. Howard said he knows what's going on in his head. He did an impression of JD thinking about how she's going to get famous and end up dating Pete Davidson.
Howard wrapped up the segment and said they'll have the Newlywed Game next week. He said we'll see what happens. He said they'll find out if JD is going to be involved. He said it's a cliff hanger. They went to break a short time later.
Robin asked if he changed the melody at all. Howard said he better have. Howard said he needs a hit song. Robin said he needs his Disco Duck. Howard said that's right. He said that's the one prize that has eluded him. Robin said she's not sure why Gangnam Style wasn't given to Howard.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is a new listener and he has been part of his morning routine lately. He said he just wanted to say it's an awesome show. Howard said that's right, we're your pals. Robin said they're all in this club together.
Robin said she's a little worried now. She said she thought they were having a fun conversation and now she's worried.
Howard said he wants to give a shout out to Jimmy Kimmel who was hosting the Chris Cornell tribute in California. Howard said he watched some of the clips on social media and he gave a Baba Booey and a Hit 'em with the Hein at the concert. Howard played a clip of Jimmy doing that after someone in the audience yelled out Baba Booey.
Howard said he was going through the email about JD and his pitch to direct a video of the making of his song with Mark Ronson. Howard asked Gary if Mark knows if the song sucks he's not going to put it out. Gary said it's all up to Howard what happens with the song. Howard said he can't be embarrassed. Robin asked what happens if everyone loves it but he hates it. Howard said it's not getting put out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it seems like other people copy his interviews and he wonders if that upsets him. Howard said not at all. He said that it's bound to happen. The caller said that Seth Meyers did the same interview with Pete that Howard did. Howard said he doesn't know if that's true. He said the older he gets the less he cares about stuff like that. He said he has his fans and they know what he's doing.
Howard said he used to get upset about that stuff. He said he can't get upset now. Robin said that if something interesting comes out of an interview Howard does then other people may want to find out more about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about the federal agent on The Punisher. Howard said she's hot. He said that he likes what they're doing with that show. He said he's only 2 episodes into the new season. He said he likes it a lot though. He said that Beth will walk in and say ''Oh, you're watching your show...'' He said she slows him down. He said he'll watch something with her that they both watch. He said that Beth was booked on a bunch of shows. He said she taped Rachel Ray yesterday and she had a cute outfit on. He said she didn't even consult him about it. Howard said Rachel has donated so much money to the animal charities they work with. He said she's awesome. He said she's a saint like his wife. Howard said for every animal Jason eats and devours Rachel saves one. Howard said Jason eats so much meat. He said he's constantly with the animals.
Howard said he was told that Jason made a new years resolution to lose weight. He said he's not sure that's going to happen. He said they followed Jason to this Pig Island place. He said it makes him sick to hear it. Howard said he can break and then get to the Pig Island stuff. He said it's really disgusting. Robin asked how you find out about Pig Island. Howard said it's really gross. He said he's trying not to eat that stuff. Gary said the whole point was because they butterflied a cow and Jason wanted to eat that. Howard said they say that the number 1 cause of global warming is because of eating cows. He said it's the farting.
Howard said Beth is going on the Ellen show soon. He asked Mariann when she's on. Mariann was on the phone and said it's on Friday. She said they're also doing the Cat Bowl next weekend. Howard said there are so many cats in the shelters. He said his wife got two 15 year old cats that the owners just threw out. He said they took in the older cats and they're so great.
Gary came in and said Mariann is so crazy. He said she sent over a picture of herself giving the finger to Simon Cowell. Howard said Mariann is so cute and that voice does not match her face. Howard said he's sure there's not a guy in their audience who wouldn't bang her.
Howard said JD pitched this idea to make this documentary about the making of the song and Steve Lacey tweeted about how bad the pitch was. Jason said Steve is a local FOX news anchor.
Howard said they also got a lot of reaction to Richard reacting to the Chiefs losing. He said a grown man crying over that is ill. He said he gets that you want to have a team and you feel disappointed but crying over it is strange. He read some email from people who wrote in about Richard's crying. Howard said Richard's mouth is in pain today. He said that he had to get some dental work done and he's in pain today.
Howard had Richard come in to talk about his dental work. Richard said his face is beating with his heart. He said his face is throbbing. He said that this has been a 5 month process. He said they had to dig into the bone in his jaw after his root canal got infected. He said that they had to heal that and then put a screw in his jaw bone for an implant. He said then they took the crown and put that in. He said it was like he was a car getting its motor worked on. He said he thinks the tooth was out so long the other teeth moved in and they had to squeeze it in. Robin said the crown was sized months ago. Howard said if you use a towel as a toothbrush it doesn't work. Richard said he admits he fucked his teeth up. He said he's really in pain today. He said the sound of the drill and stuff was so loud.
Howard asked if he's really not going to watch the Super Bowl. Richard said he's not going to. He said he's sick of the Patriots.
Gary said that Richard has to get work done on the other side too. He said that he has to get a root canal done and then he's putting off the work for 5 years. Richard said he can't spend all of that money on his mouth. Howard asked if he hates Tom Brady or Oral Surgery more. Richard said the surgery. He said it's hard to hate Tom Brady after meeting him. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard said this is another news anchor coughing. Howard played that one and the woman started coughing so bad that another anchor had to take over for her.
Howard said this was Tucker Carlson choking on something when he was introducing a guest. Howard played that clip and Tucker had something stuck in his throat. Howard said it's probably one of Trump's pubes. Tucker kept going and his guest told him to take a drink and it will pass.
Howard was doing an impression of that like he was wrestler Goldust. Fred played some Goldust clips too.
Howard said a guest on FOX news had a coughing attack while talking about the migration caravan. He played that clip and the woman started to cough and kept trying to speak. She drank some water and tried to keep going but she lost her voice. They had to cut away from her. Howard said he would have boiled her microphone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to say that he was watching the segment with Richard talking about his sports thing. He said he was so frustrated because his close ups were horrible. He said his teeth are so yellow. He asked them to never have another close up again. Howard said you've got it. Robin asked how close they can get. The caller said not enough to see his teeth and what's going on in his gums. Howard said they're putting a new camera in that will shoot from space.
Howard said Richard will be doing a bit where he tastes wine with his asshole. He said he can tell the difference between red and white. Howard said they will zoom in close on his ass when they do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a chance to see Metallica last night and they tore the house down. He said they came out at 8:30 and walked off at 11:15. Howard said he knows exactly how he feels. He said he has been to two or three Metallica shows. He said he ends up being more blown away each time. He said one time they were doing a show with a 70 piece orchestra. He said that James Hetfield is a manly dude. He said he comes out and that's what every man should look like. He said he could have been someone really tough. He said that he sings in a really masculine way. He said he holds the guitar in a masculine way. He said he's everything Brent wants to be. He said the bass player is something else too. He said he looks like a wild beast.
Howard said he saw them at the Apollo and they were bad ass there. He said it's so masculine. Howard played some of their live stuff from their studio. Howard asked what man wouldn't want to go see that. He said they're unbelievable. Howard said you want to go in the woods nude and go around with your bow and arrow. He said he's not sure if they're the greatest but they're right up there. He said you have to go see them do at least one live performance in your life.
Howard said he thinks he took Ralph to that concert with the orchestra. He had Ralph on the phone. Howard said he got laid that night. He said he went out and fucked. He said that he had to get a hold of someone after that show. He said it was crazy. He said it was him, Ralph and Richie. He said they were taking their pants off there. Ralph said he thinks they went out to a club after and had a party. He said you really did get charged up. He said it was in the round and they were in between the band and the audience. He said it was fucking amazing. Ralph said they don't stop playing. He said it's just fucking crazy.
Howard said his friend started taking his pants off and mooning the audience. He said it's not gay if you do that at a Metallica show. He said you can blow a guy there and it's not gay. He said it's insane there. Fred played another Metallica song and some blow job gagging clips over it. Howard said he loves those guys. He said Ralph pulled his eyes out and threw them on stage. Ralph said that was a once in a lifetime thing. Howard said it really was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he will do his Underdog lady for no reason at all. Howard said he as to get to part two of that Embedded. The caller said that they have announced a prequel to The Sopranos and it's going to have James Gandolfini's son playing a young Tony Soprano. Howard said that seems crazy to him. He said that his son has a resemblance to him but what are the chances that he could be a great actor like his dad. Howard said it seems crazy to him. Robin said they probably wouldn't take that franchise and dumb it down. Howard said David Chase wrote it. He said that it sounds nutty to him but maybe the kid can act. He said it's like John Gambling giving his son the radio show. Or Franklin Graham taking over for his tent show fucking preacher dad. Robin said even that Pat Robertson has a son trying to look like his dad. He said he drolls on just like his dad too.
The caller asked where that show could end up. Howard said he's not sure. He said it's crazy that Netflix is the place to do shows like that now. He said it used to be HBO.
Howard had Ralph on the phone to talk about the Sopranos thing. Ralph said they announced this a while ago. He said it's going to be centered around the Newark riots and it should be great. He said it's going to be a movie and not a franchise. He said you don't know how much Tony will be in it. He said it's going to be from that time but it's about them growing up. He said it's going to be like the flashbacks in The Sopranos. Howard said it is about Tony Soprano growing up. Ralph said it's not. He said it's a time in Newark when the riots were going on. It's more about the father and his friends.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ralph is right about what the movie will be about. He said it's not about Tony but more about his father. He said Michael is also in The Deuce and he's good in that.
The caller also asked Ralph what his logic is for not watching the Super Bowl. Ralph told him his reason and said he will not be watching the game. Howard said enough with this. He said he has to go.
the caller asked if Howard is excited about the Deadwood movie. Howard said not at all. He said no one cares about Deadwood. Robin said she does but she doesn't care about the movie. Howard said he's boycotting that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that's like saying that Robin Quivers complimented him and then 10 minutes later saying it was Memet. Gary said Terrence Winters wrote a lot of great stuff. Howard said that's so wrong though.
Howard wondered what happened in Gary's brain. Gary said he got his Sopranos writers screwed up. Robin said Gary read the letter and appreciated it but then he got it wrong who it was. Howard said it's like saying that Barack Obama wrote you a letter and then 5 minutes later you say it was Ronald Reagan. Gary asked if he's dealing with the person who forgot that Howard had a cat named Yoda after reading the book about Yoda. Robin said the book she read but that has nothing to do with forgetting Howard had a cat named Yoda.
Howard asked why his lip is bleeding. Gary said he has a scab on it. He said he's not sure what happened. Jason said he thought it was bleeding too. He said it looks like it's bleeding out of his lip. Gary said it's not. He said he may have bitten his lip. Howard said his teeth may have knocked into his lip. Howard said maybe it's Jon Hein's lipstick.
Howard said he isn't going to bust Gary's balls anymore. Gary said that Terrence Winter produced 79 episodes. Howard said Gary came in there telling him the nicest letter he got was from David Chase. Howard said Fred was there when he said it. Fred said he did an about face about all of that. Gary said he corrected himself. Howard said he was going to do Pig Island but he's out of time. He said he can't sit there all day. He said he's doing 4 hours and they want him to stay all day. Gary said oh come on. Then he said he didn't realize how late it was. Howard said he will get to it eventually. He said they have 2 years worth of shows coming up. He asked what the rush is.
Howard took the call from King of All Blacks and said that Rahsaan did a rant about him and King called in and left a message about that. King said that Rahsaan is just a white dude dipped in chocolate. He asked if he saw the thing about Chris Brown. Howard said he did. Robin said he's been cleared of all charges. king said they won't talk about that. Robin said he's going to sue her. King said she should do 15 years in prison for lying. Howard said if she lied about rape he has a big problem with that. He said women who are raped are afraid to bring it up. He said he's not sure about the clearing but it's a terrible thing to do if you accuse someone of doing something that they didn't do. Howard said he agrees that she should be locked up if she lied.
Robin said that they say that the news came out that Chris was arrested and then he was let go and no charges came from that. King said people were already shitting on Chris brown on their podcasts. He said they were going off on him already because this bitch was lying. Robin asked how he gets so worked up.
Howard said Rahsaan is doing something on the Wrap Up Show now called Rahsaan's Rant. He said that he did one about King of All Blacks and King called and left a message on Shuli's voicemail calling Rahsaan racist names. Howard played the message that King left about that rant. King was going on and on about how he was brought up in affluent neighborhoods and there's nothing wrong with that but Rahsaan has a problem with that. He was calling him names and going on and on about that rant. Howard said Shuli thinks King was drunk when he left that message. He was going on and on calling him names and talking about what he thinks he has in his house.
Howard asked Rahsaan if he has anything to say about this. Rahsaan came in and said that he doesn't have a white wife like King said he does. He said she is light skinned though so King might think that she's white. Howard asked why King is calling him names like that. Rahsaan said he thinks that he's just trying to take away his street cred or something. Robin said King is talking about everything he owns. Rahsaan said that he does that every time. He said he calls him a corn ball and all of that every time.
Howard got King back on the phone and asked why he's calling him racist names. King said he was drinking some Hennessy that night. Rahsaan told him to shut the fuck up about that. He said that's like the national black liquor. King said that's what he was drinking. He said that Rahsaan is trying to fake his blackness. He said he's doing what he accused him of doing.
Howard said imagine King sitting home in his 3 car garage drinking his Hennessy. Howard said his rant is very strange. He said he can't learn from him because he didn't have a rich father like King did. King said that's what he's talking about. He said he always slips into that barbecue talk.
Howard said Rahsaan is some incredible runner or something. He was on the cover of Runner's World. Rahsaan said he was last year. King said he's like Obama. He said Obama is different because he fit in with the white environment. He said Rahsaan isn't going to be able to do that. Robin said King is the nuttiest guy. Howard said he can't believe that being like Obama is an insult.
Howard asked what Rahsaan can do to improve himself. King said he has to change up his whole thinking and stop running away from his blackness. Robin said every time he runs away from that it catches right back up. King said stop trying to fit in. He asked if he wears a back pack. King said he bets his friends have dreads. King said he knows he loves sounding white. Rahsaan said he dos sound white to King. Rahsaan said that King doesn't make any sense when he calls in.
King's phone cut out for a second so Howard used that to get out of the conversation. He said he has to be out of there on time today. He said he has to go.
Rahsaan kept calling King ''Larry'' instead of King. Howard said he feels like King is a racist. He said he shits on black people more than any racist he's ever heard. Rahsaan said he can do better. King said he loves black people and he loves being black. Robin said he does not. She said that he thinks his Rolex makes him valid. Rahsaan said he's a fucking clown.
King said his parents took him to a restaurant named La Vie and it was in a brownstone. He said that they were the only black people in there. He said Howard knows where he's talking about. Howard had never heard of it.
Howard said he has to go. King said Robin understands and she's just planing along with it. King asked what kind of sneakers he has on. Rahsaan said he has Under Armor sneakers on. He said he gets sponsored by them to wear them. He said he gets paid to wear them. King said he knew he was wearing them. King asked why he doesn't know about Asics. Rahsaan said they don't pay him to wear those sneakers. King said that dinner at La Vie was like $3,000. He said it looked like a picture. Howard asked Rahsaan if this has set black people back. Rahsaan said yes by about 300 years. King said Howard ran into his father in Barbados. King asked where Rahsaan's father is. Rahsaan said in Georgia. King said he's probably eating watermelon. Howard hung up on King and did a live commercial read and went to break.
Robin asked if he follows the Bikini Hiker. Howard said he does and he hopes nothing ever happens to her. Robin said he's out of luck because she has reportedly died from hypothermia. Robin said she would go around hiking and take selfies of herself in a bikini. Robin said she fell off a rock and she was only wearing a bikini. She sent a distress call but she wasn't reached until Monday. Robin said she was actually fully clothed when the found her. Robin said rest in peace Bikini Hiker. Howard said he thought that was a sad story but what are you doing?
Robin asked what Howard's connection to Tennessee Tuxedo is. Howard said his dad recorded them all at his studio. Robin asked if he knows the name Bradley Bulk. Howard said that's his penis' name. Robin said he played Chumley. She said he has died at the age of 93. Howard said he had better not tell his dad. He said that would upset him. He said he's sure his dad got him shrimp salad sandwiches. Robin had some audio of Bradley doing his thing as Chumley. Howard said he thinks Chumley was on the spectrum. He asked Robin if Chumley and the Bikini Hiker are together finally in heaven and if he's the same age up there. Robin said she imagines you get to be the age you're stuck in your head. Robin said no one is 90 in their head. Howard said you never see those Tennessee Tuxedo cartoons anymore. He said his dad did Underdog too. Howard said he always thought that was cool that his dad did that.
Robin read a story about Macaulay Culkin who is doing a lot to get himself out there lately. She said he's showing up on talk shows and podcasts. She said now he's being asked about his friendship with Michael Jackson. Howard said Macaulay actually took a picture with Memet. Robin laughed but Howard said he's serious. Robin said that Macaulay was on the Michael Rosenbaum podcast. Robin had some audio of Macaulay talking about his friendship with Michael. Robin said he was 10 and Michael was 33 at the time. Howard said that's just weird. Macaulay said Michael was very funny and he would make prank calls with him.
Robin read a story about Sara Gilbert talking about becoming friends with Paul Reubens who plays Pee Wee Herman. Robin said she had a very large age gap with him. Howard said he's not sure if Michael was into kids or not. He said they say he was just trying to have a childhood that he missed out on. He said it will never be proven if he was innocent or not. He said it's just weird. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Tom Arnold splitting from his wife. Howard said get out. He said she has to be kidding. Robin said they announced they are splitting up yesterday. Robin said that things have been tough the past few years. Robin said that he says he and his kids have a wonderful life and he's told her to do what she has to do so she moved out. Robin said they've been together almost 11 years. Howard said he can't believe that. Robin said she remembers him saying that he felt like there was ''team Arnold'' when he was in there last. Robin asked what you do now. Howard said he has to stop getting married. He said it's not for him. Robin said she's not sure he'll believe that. Howard said after 4 marriages it should be illegal to marry again. Howard said he's been married twice. He said if that didn't work out then he'd worry that maybe marriage isn't for him.
Robin read a story about Jay Leno being on Andy Cohen's show and talking about the Conan debacle and about Howard. Howard said oh no. Robin had some audio of Jay talking about what happened with Conan. Howard said he feels like he was in a time machine. He said he had forgotten about that. Robin had some audio of Jay talking about Howard. Howard played that clip and Andy was asking Jay about what he thinks. Jay said he never responds to that. He said that's fine if he talks about him. He said he didn't get into a feud with Howard because Howard is always going to win. Jay said he thinks Howard is really talented and he's a good interviewer. He said he just looks at it like it's part of the business. He said he listens to Howard now and it's good. Andy asked if he keeps listening if he's ragging on him. Jay said you have to keep listening. Andy asked if he would go on the show. Jay said he would go on the show.
Howard said he doesn't know. He said he just got ticked off. He said that all occurred when he hired Stuttering John. He said that it's not that he cared about John but it's like if he went to Jimmy Kimmel and hired his cousin Guillermo or something. He said Jimmy might get upset if he just hired him away from the show. Howard said he thinks Jay should have called him first. He never would have stood in John's way. He said they weren't paying John a lot of money. He said he wasn't trying to hold on to John but he felt it was weird the way he hired him. He said he did call him after the fact and Jay was just saying he can afford to pay him better. Howard said he would never stand in his way. He said he could have gotten Opie and Anthony fired but he'd never do that. He said he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did that. He said he thought he was owed a call. He said now it's all blown out of proportion. He said that's just the way he handles business. He said he doesn't hate Jay. He said he's one of his biggest fans. He said he used to go see him do comedy in the clubs in Washington. He said it pains him because he used to be on the show all the time. Robin said he was the first guest on the birthday shows for years. Howard said it pained him that he chose to do that with him. He said he thought it was weird and he had a weird feeling about him. He said Jay is a funny guy and it's been a hundred years. He said it might be too weird to have him on the show. He said the feud has gone on so long. He said it's all forgotten about though. He doesn't hate Jay and he has a lot of respect for him and his stand up. He said he likes that Andy asked about it. Robin said she thought his answer was good. Howard said he answered it fine. He said it felt genuine. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked who he's still in a feud with. Robin said Simon Cowell. Howard said that's because the guy lied to him. He said he lied about the email that were released in the Sony hacks. He said Simon claimed he wasn't trying to steal his job on America's Got Talent. He said he was though. He said it was right there in the emails. Howard said don't plot behind his back. He said he's not a moron. He said he's stupid but not that stupid. He said the guy is a sleazy liar. Howard said he's not even in a war with Jay anymore. Howard asked if he's at war with anyone else. Robin said maybe Opie and Anthony. Howard said not at all. He doesn't care about that. He wishes them well. He said he didn't know what their problem was in the first place.
Howard asked if Fred is at war with anyone. Fred said maybe El Chapo. Howard said he wouldn't say that. He said he's fine with that guy. He said he'll chop your head off.
Robin asked who said ''Porn and Playstation. We've lost many good men to this.'' Howard didn't know. Robin said that Pam Anderson said that. Howard said that she was in Playboy so why would she say that. Robin said that she would know. Robin said she thinks guys who play games and are in to porn are not good lovers. Howard said he would disagree with that. He said he has learned a lot from watching porn. Robin said Pam says that men who watch porn are not good lovers. Howard said that's just not true. He said that not every guy who watches porn is like that. He said he's really into stepmother and daughter and her friend porn. He said there are a lot like that out there and he likes it. Robin said he keeps going for that sorry. Howard said JD watches a lot of porn and he's sure that he's a good lover. Howard said he'll have to ask his wife when she comes in there. Robin said that's why JD doesn't want her in there.
Robin read a story about Mariano Rivera who was the first ever unanimous Hall of Fame pick. Robin said they had some video of him getting the news of being inducted. She said his family was screaming. Howard said he's not sure why the baseball hall of fame isn't a joke because the radio hall of fame sure is. He said he's in it and he thinks it's a joke. Gary had some thoughts on Mariano Rivera. Howard wondered why they were asking Gary about pitchers. He said he just realized that.
Robin read a story about how Newark airport had to close down after reports of drones flying around shut it down. Robin said the flights are back to taking off and landing. Robin said they didn't find anything but they have started the flights again. Robin said they are still investigating what went on there. Howard said Brent's wife got her boobs done in Tampa and she was flying back after a week down there. He said she got diverted by that shutdown last night. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown and how it's affecting FBI investigations. Robin said the shutdown has hobbled operations. Howard said they have to fix this already. Robin had some audio of an FBI agents association talking about the shutdown. Howard said he loves that show FBI on CBS. He said the FBI agent is the hottest chick. Robin said she has no interest in watching her. Howard said she's super hot. Howard said it's the same thing with the CIA agent in SEAL with David Boreanaz. He said she's super hot too. Robin said this government shutdown can affect the lives of these people if they fail to pay a bill. She had some audio of that guy talking about that. Howard had pre-recorded clips of phony Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone talking about the government shutdown. Howard spent a few minutes on the phone with Arnold.
Robin had some audio of Mitch McConnell talking about how to stop this shutdown by funding the wall.
Robin asked what the most popular game console is. Howard said it must be like PS4 or something. Robin said it is the Nintendo Switch.
Robin read about how The Mooch is out of the Big Brother house already. She read about him getting booted out of the house. Robin said he was asked to leave and he won't be coming back. Howard wondered why he would be asked to leave. Robin said she's not sure. She had some audio of Scaramucci talking about stuff in the house. Howard said he's not sure how anyone can watch that.
Robin read a story about an American who was arrested in Russia who was found with a thumb drive on him and that's why they're calling him a spy. Robin had some audio of his brother saying that's not much to go on calling him a spy.
Robin read a story about a model who claims they white washed her in an ad over in Japan. Robin said she is a tennis player and she's claiming that they made her look white in the ad even though she's not. Robin said the company has apologized to her.
Robin read a story about Serena Williams being out of the tournament she's playing in. Robin said she twisted her ankle and the other woman came back and beat Serena.
Robin read a story about two Saudi girls who were found floating in the water. Robin said they were 16 and 23 and police now say that there is no evidence of a crime and it may have been suicide. Robin said they were actually found in the Hudson river and they preferred suicide over returning to Saudi Arabia.
Robin read a story about R. Kelly's studio only being used as a studio after they found that people may have been living in the building. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.