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Howard started the show talking about how he was such a masculine man watching football yesterday. He said at some point he watched porn during the game. He said during the commercials he'd watch porn. Robin asked if it was every time. Howard said not every time but he did it a few times. Robin said she's never heard of a more manly man. Howard said he was watching a woman receiving her first anal while Tom Brady was doing his thing. Howard said that guy is incredible. Robin asked what that is. Howard said he was rooting for the Patriots even though he shouldn't be. He said they came from behind. Robin said they always make amazing comebacks.
Howard said he knows people hate the Patriots and the officials not calling things on them. Howard said they don't seem to want to get into their way.
Howard said the Philly fans are staunch supporters of the Eagles so it should be a good Super Bowl. Robin said She didn't know about that guy who was singing that Philly song. Howard said he was busy with porn so he doesn't know anything about it. Howard said he starts watching football during the playoffs so he doesn't know about the rest of the season.
Robin said in Philly they were greasing the poles so the fans won't climb them. Howard said how about just not climbing the poles. Howard said the song She was talking about is called Fly Eagles Fly. Howard asked Will if he can sing it. Will came in and sang the song for them. Howard said Will just came back from the riots. He asked if he's excited. Will said he is. He said he hopes they win. He said he's pulling for them.
Howard said Will used to piss on people at the games. Will said he went to a Vikings game and he jumped on a woman's back who was wearing a Vikings shirt. He said he hopped off and ran away.
Will said he drove down to Philly for a game and came back the next day to work. He said he thinks those days are over for him. Howard said he's taking his job more seriously now.
Howard said he thinks Will should be a New York fan since he lives there. He said they have two teams there and they can't produce a winner. He said that's nuts. Robin said the Giants have won but the Jets you have to look at. Robin said look at the Mets and the Knicks. Will said the Yankees are good. Howard said it's embarrassing that they don't have better teams. Robin said they have teams for every sport and they don't have good ones.
Howard and Will were talking about the Yankees and some of the players Will didn't care for. Howard thanked him for his thoughts on that stuff. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he has some Eagles fans pretty much unintelligible. JD came in and said he has some audio of Will singing the Eagles chant when he was drunk. Howard played the clip and Will was talking about how he loves the Eagles and he thinks they have some hope. He said he wanted to do an Eagles chant for once in his life. He did the chant.
Howard said he can't get that worked up over teams. He had some audio of the Eagles fans getting worked up on TV about going to the Super Bowl. Howard said a lot of fans are wearing full costumes. He said that will lead to trouble. He said they think they can't be seen. Howard played a clip of some fans yelling ''Fuck Tom Brady'' on TV. Howard said it takes a while to get into it. In the clip the fans waited until the end of the broadcast to get that in.
Howard had another clip of a guy saying he was going to fuck Tom Brady's wife over and over. Howard said sure he is. Howard said the dog outfit is because they are the under dogs. Howard said that guy wishes he could fuck Tom Brady's wife. He said that guy probably hasn't bathed in a year so he won't be fucking Tom's wife.
Howard played a clip of a guy yelling out ''Big Dick Nick'' on the air. In the clip the reporter was trying to do a live report and everyone was chanting. Then this guy gets on and starts with the Big Dick Nick thing. Howard said they're always shocked when they are with drunk fans and they yell something out.
Howard said he asked his guys there who watch football who will win and the general feeling is the Patriots will win. He said who knows though. He said you can't just do that and expect it to happen. Howard said he watched it and it was good. He said Ralph told him it was going to be good. He said the Patriots played the Vikings. He said he was watching and it's a lot of time to put in. He said he made some diner and Beth wasn't around so he jerked off during half time. He said he timed it out.
Robin said She only watches the last 5 minutes of the game. She said that's all you need. Howard said he can't believe how many good looking women who are in porn. He said the women are so good looking. He said he remembers the first porn he saw that was on 8mm film. He said that he had to do the whole set up to watch it. He said it was a really old porn and the woman was not good looking. He said now the women in porn are really good looking. He said especially in lesbian porn. He said they're stunning. He said maybe they're short or something. He said they look like actresses or models. He said hey really are that good looking. Robin said he may be swayed by a full pipe. Howard said it's mind blowing to him. He said there are really good looking women in porn.
Howard said he was watching a porn last night and this woman was light skinned mulatto. He said he doesn't watch a lot of black porn but this was a light skinned woman who was really great looking. He said he doesn't see that much black porn out there. Robin said there aren't that many black porn actresses. Howard said this woman had a perfect face and body. He said when he was growing up the women looked like Rocky Dennis from Mask. Howard said this woman fucked a professor and She walks in almost naked into his office. He said she's standing way too close to the guy and She says he fucked her best friend. Then the guy gives in and bends her over the desk and spanks her really hard. Howard said She loves it. Howard said She ends up blowing him forever. He said then he bangs her.
Howard said he was thinking about how good looking She was. He said now he's forgotten about the game completely. He said he was watching porn, eating dinner and watching the football game. He said that was a masculine day.
Howard said Bill Maher came back from his 3 month vacation so he was watching him last night. He said Michael Wolff was on the show and he said he can't have 100 percent proof but he thinks Trump is having an affair right now. Howard said Trump has to be miserable. He said he had a great life. He said he kind of flew under the radar. He said he can't believe he ran for president.
Howard said there used to be famous porn stars but that doesn't happen now. Robin said that the porn industry has been affected by streaming. Howard asked JD if he knows any famous porn actresses. JD said there's Lisa Ann. He said she's getting back into it. Howard asked who else there is. JD said that he thinks Lisa Ann is as big as Jenna Jameson was. Howard asked if he knows other ones. JD said Riley Reed is another one. JD said he's blanking right now.
Gary said Jason was telling him that the girl who went on the date with Medicated Pete is big now. Her name is Kendra Sutherland. JD said she's retiring too. Howard said you don't make a lot of money in porn these days. He said it's crazy.
Howard said everything is changing. Robin said She searched for Lisa Ann and She got Jeff Probst's wife. Howard said she's some knock out. Howard said Robin must have known it wasn't the same woman. Robin said she's just saying it could happen.
Howard played the call where Jim called a feed store as Goat Boy. Goat Boy was asking about the nutrients in the food and what the aroma is like. The guy at the store didn't know what the aroma was like. Goat Boy had the guy at the store cracking up with the goat sounds he was making. The guy kept cracking up and eventually hung up.
Howard said that call is fantastic. He said that guy should be so big. He said if he was on Saturday Night Live playing that character making phony phone calls he'd watch it. He said that's all he has to do. Howard said they don't have to spend so much money on the show. Howard said he has to take a break and get to more. They went to break after that.
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Howard had Wolfie on the phone and he said he went to the Juggalo march in Washington DC. He said Insane Clown Posse had a protest about them being listed as a gang by the FBI. Howard said Wolfie saw Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope there. Wolfie said there were over 1000 people at the protest.
Howard read about how the gang classification came about and how all of the members are now known gang members. He said that they were out there in the big mall. Wolfie said there was also a Trump protest going on the same day. He said it was a pretty crazy day.
Howard said Wolfie said the march was pretty disorganized and it started late. He said they marched the wrong direction too.
Howard said Violent J started the whole thing with a speech. Howard had some audio of J doing his thing and getting everyone riled up. He said taking away someone's opinion is like sewing up a man's butthole.
Howard said that spot leads to great speeches. He said that butthole analogy will go down in history.
Howard said people were yelling chants in bullhorns and they were using the ''Whoop, whoop'' in their chants. Howard played a clip of them doing their chants with that in there. Wolfie said one of his favorite parts was a tourism bus going by and unloading and they had clowns all over the place. He said they had no idea what was going on.
Howard said he has a clip of a guy named Butthole Ben. He played that and the guy said he shows his butthole so that's where he got his name. He told Wolfie that he saw a girl bang two of his buddies and they both nutted in her. He said She blew one guy and then a guy ate her out. He said then that guy wheel barrow fucked her up a hill. He said She wanted more and more and She refused to go away. Then She got tazered in the ass.
Howard said that sounds exhausting. He said She kept coming back for more according to that guy. Howard said that guy also said he saw a girl put a giant turkey leg in her vagina. Howard played a clip of the guy talking about that. The guy said all of the skin and meat was being pulled off as She was doing it.
Robin asked who these people are. She said she's not sure they should get their rights. Howard said Trump wants more white people in America. He said he thinks we have enough. He said it's crazy what's going on.
Howard said Butthole Ben has a ZZ Top beard and he's looking for a girl to pee on his beard. He played a clip of the guy talking about how he had a girl do that to him once at a show. Ben said he was on the drug bridge at an event when that happened.
Howard said this march didn't work. He said the FBI ignored them. He said Wolfie met another guy named Stutters McNutters. He said he saw a guy cut off his nipple and sell it at a gathering. Howard played that clip and the guy told Wolfie that story. He said he saw him at the bridge when he did that. Howard asked why this all happens on a bridge. Wolfie said he thinks it's because they're all on drugs there. Wolfie said he thinks the nipple sold for like 40 bucks. Howard said that would be the worst. He said he can't imagine not dying from that. Wolfie said he thinks he said he used pliers to pull it off.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking about the worst vagina he's ever smelled. The guy said he went down on the girl and he gave her a lick and stuck it in. He said he had never smelled it like that before. He said it smelled like barf in 130 degree weather. He said he just stuck his dick in after that.
Howard said he was once with a woman he could smell while kissing her neck. He said he kept going but didn't go down on her. He said he thinks he banged her. Robin asked if he worried about catching something. Howard said he thinks he wore a rubber.
Howard said he was making out with this woman once and her boobs smelled funny to him. He said that he had to leave after that. He said that was weird.
Wolfie said he was at a party once and his buddy was swinging panties around and they were so bad people were throwing up. Howard said a woman has to know it smells. Wolfie said maybe it's like bad breath. He said people with shit breath don't know it sometimes. Howard said Robin has never smelled so her vagina must smell fine. Robin laughed.
Howard said his wife will take a bath 3 times a day. He said She won't let any kind of smell down there. He said he's asked her to have some stink on her and She said no way. He said he admires that.
Howard said this guy says he saw a Juggalo drink Port-A-Potty water for $40. Howard played the clip of the guy talking about what he saw that day. It was the blue water with shit and piss in it. He said he doesn't know if the guy died but he saw it happen. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Wolfie said they have the video on YouTube so it really did happen.
Howard said he has some more protest chants. He played a clip of the Juggalos chanting and fighting for the megaphone.
Howard said he has a bonus clip of a phony phone call they made to an internet radio show where they were talking about Insane Clown Posse and the host said he's not a fan. He didn't know he was speaking to clips of Shaggy and Violent J. The hosts were arguing with them and calling them the ''Huggalos.'' The hosts said that they hope Trump keeps up what he's doing so they get them out of the country.
Howard said on the phone he has a Juggalo chant leader who wants to lead them in a chant. Howard picked up and had a woman who had them chanting stuff that Howard didn't even understand.
Howard asked the woman how She got the megaphone. She said She found it on the drug bridge. Howard said goodbye to her after that. Howard thanked Wolfie too. Wolfie said this year the Wing Bowl is going to be crazy. He said that it's within 2 weeks and they have the Eagles going to the Super Bowl so it's going to be wild. Gary said it's the Friday before the Super Bowl. Howard asked if Wolfie is covering Wing Bowl this year. Wolfie said he believes he is. Howard said it should be extra insane this year. He said it should be a lot of fun. Wolfie said he thinks so.
Robin asked if they will still scream at women to show their tits. Wolfie said they will. He said they're not going to stop that. He said if you said ''#TimesUp'' at the Wing Bowl you'd get beat up. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said the guy is 77 so he understands. Robin said they do say the good die young and Imus is still going and getting old. Howard said people do say they'll miss him. Howard said he thinks Imus called Robin a ''spear chucker'' at WNBC. Robin said she's not even sure. She said he said a lot of things. Robin said he would sit in on Howard's writing meetings and on the show too. Howard said Imus changed his show because of that. Robin said Imus starting calling Howard's mom and having her on his show. Howard said he never understood half of what he was saying when he went to his talk format. He said he did a lot of voices and characters and then he went to talk after seeing them.
Howard said Imus never thanked him for giving him a new format. He said he would give credit to Wolfman Jack. He said that he doesn't need his comments but it would have been nice for him to come clean. He said he could have apologized for being so nasty and then becoming a big fan.
Howard said JD pulled some audio from Imus and said he had to cut it down because it was so boring. Howard played a clip and Imus really has that old man voice now. Howard said it's time to go.
Howard said that he is the inventor of How's your Donkey Kong and Moby Worm. He said he did that reverend Billy Saul Harguss too. He said Imus was fired in 2007 over a ''Nappy headed hoes'' comment.
Gary said that Jeff the Drunk has more followers on Twitter than Imus does. Howard said he should have retired 20 years ago. He said why not go on if they're still hiring you.
Howard said he thinks he's bowing out in 3 years. He said he's kind of envious that he's walking away. Robin said Howard isn't 77 though. Howard said he feels it.
Howard played more Imus audio and he said he can't get over that voice. Howard said some people think this could be a contract negotiation. He said he's not sure about that. Howard played more audio and commented on it as it played. Imus was giving details about his contract and how the company is going bankrupt so he won't be paid past March so that's why he's retiring then instead of in December.
Howard said he is much funnier now that he sounds like that. He played more clips of Imus talking about how he is paid and how the staff is paid. Howard said he must have new teeth or something. He did an impression of Imus slurring his words. He and Robin were trying to figure out what he was saying. Some of what he said was really hard to understand.
Howard said he's some broadcaster. Robin said he has made a great living at it. Howard did more of his impression of Imus. He played more audio of Imus making his announcement about his final show. Music started playing over him so Robin asked if he was being played off. Howard said he was.
Howard said they worked with Imus so long they know that he's waiving that finger at the engineer to play the music. Robin said it sounds like he was doing Tradio. Howard said he plays off his own show. He said he gets all fired up about that. Howard said he had to hear that again.
Gary said Brent was just showing him the ratings and that station has a 1.1 rating and they're just a fraction of a point above the country station. Howard said Imus used to say he had the wealthy audience. He said Imus lied about that stuff. He said that their audience was wealthier and wider than his.
Howard did more of his Imus impression and goofed on that announcement. Fred was also doing the impression.
Howard had an Imus fan on the phone. The guys in the back were doing an impression of an old woman talking about how edgy Imus is. She said he had a woman show her ankle on the show back in 1922. Howard said Imus has done a lot of characters like Moby Worm. Howard wondered if he'll bring that back to the show before he retires. The caller said that they don't make broadcasters who call their coworkers the N-word anymore.
Howard picked up on Sour Shoes who was doing his Imus impression. Howard spent a short time talking to him. Howard said it was very inspiring to work there with Imus at WNBC. Sour was talking about his hot sauce and mumbling through some stuff with Howard.
Howard said he heard he does his show from the ranch that's not in New York. Robin said She thought he sold the ranch. Howard said he heard he had to have warm weather. Howard said he thinks they've run out of things to talk about. Sour kept going with the impression but Howard said that's enough and hung up. They played a song parody that Fred did about Imus years ago.
Howard said it sounds like they're just not paying Imus anymore. He said he's being forced to retire. Robin said that they are going bankrupt. Howard said he's not sure who ''they'' are. Gary said it's Cumulus. Howard said he thinks they're bankrupt. Fred said their stock is like 9 cents a share. Howard said he smells a podcast in Imus' future. Howard said he's had a big career so good for him.
Howard said he remembers things about Imus that stick out in his mind. He said he met him and he remembers him being a dick. He said he thinks he was nervous he was going to take his job away so he gets that. He said Imus never missed a day of work once he joined. He said he used to miss days until he started. Howard said when he showed up Imus became a busy bee. He said it was a cosmic joke that he ended up there at WNBC. He said they hired him to do an edgy show on a family station. He said they never knew what they were getting. Howard said he remembers they forced him to meet Imus. He said Charles McCord was nasty to him. Once he got ratings he was nice. Howard said he gets it though. He was threatening them with his show.
Howard said when he got to NBC he was told how great Imus was and they told him to listen to his show. He said he would have gotten worse if he had.
Howard said they had a poster for the Imus show and they had a woman's eyes peeking through blinds at Imus. He said he's in such an insane business.
Howard said he wanted to go to New York so he took that job at WNBC. He said he figured it would all work out but it was horrible going through all of that. He said they sued to sell posters of Imus to the fans. He said they sold them for like $100. He said they ended up giving them away.
Howard said he was remembering that Imus would walk around all full of himself. Then he started wearing jump suits to work. He said it was like a jumper. Fred said it was a jump suit.
Howard said that they shot a commercial with him and Imus and Imus didn't want to be in it. He said they had to give him a Rolex to get him to be in it. He said he remembers how lame his show was and how he changed the format. He said that he surpassed him in the ratings and he woke up and changed his show. He said it's all water under the bridge. He said that they shook hands a couple of years ago when they saw each other in the street. He said it's kind of weird hearing that he's retiring in 2018. He said he was still making good money in radio.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said it was good radio back in the day when he was all fired up. He said he didn't know what the show was about but he was all fired up. Howard said he was angry because he was getting ripped off. He said he was just pissed.
Ralph said it was crazy that he didn't shoot the guy. Howard said he would go to work with a knot in his stomach. He said it hasn't been a pleasant career. Ralph said it was great to listen to though. Ralph said he was bringing in the ratings. He said it was crazy. Howard said Grant Tinker wanted nothing to do with him. He said Grant just anted him out of there. He said everyone there hated them and it trickled down to him.
Ralph said he remembers a great song parody they did about Imus that was to the tune of ''Addicted to Love.'' Howard said they might have to dig into the archives for that. Fred was looking for it. He said he thinks he found it. Fred played the song parody Ralph was talking about. It was about Imus being addicted to everything. Howard said that was with the band Pig Vomit.
Howard said that song goes on for 3 minutes. He said they really were angry. He said they've been shitting on that guy for 30 years. Ralph asked when that song was from. Howard said he's not sure but it must be from WXRK. Robin asked when they wrote it. Howard wasn't sure.
Howard said some guy managed to get on Long Island News 12 and he got the name Hugh Janus on the air. Howard played the clip and they had a guy claiming to be named Hugh Janus. Howard said the guy was quick and got that name in. He said they didn't catch it. He said bravo to whoever that guy is. Howard said it's so great when they put that up on the screen. He said he's not sure he'd ever think of doing something like that. He said you could write a book about that guy. Howard said Robin could use the name Anita Rimjob. Robin said she'll keep that in mind.
Howard said that someone told him this stuff was harmless. He said he loved the coat rack but he got rid of it when he was told it could be cancer causing. Eugene said he understands. He said he wasn't trying to hurt him or anything. He thanked Howard for naming him the caller of the year. He said he threw a party for that.
Howard said he never takes gifts home and this was the one time he did it. He said that's a shame.
Eugene told Howard about how when he was growing up his mom would grab them and tell them that She kept square headed babies in the attic when they did something wrong. He said it scared him bad when he was growing up. Howard went over that story and tried to understand what he was saying. Eugene said you'd stop whatever you were doing if She said that. Howard asked if She was saying She gave birth to retarded babies or something. Eugene said he has been to counseling over it. He said he was thinking about it when they did the news story about the kids who were chained up in California.
Howard said he was thinking about those kids and how they took them to Disneyland once a year. He said they did something nice for them between all of the torture. He said that is so weird. He said they would once in a while take them to Disneyland. Howard said you go to the psychiatrist office and think about that and how they couldn't have been that bad.
Howard said it's like after your father fingers you he gives you ice cream. Robin said that's right. Howard said you wonder why the kids didn't run away. Robin said She was reading about how one of the kids went to college. Robin said the girl who was in school with him said he was very sweet but introverted. Robin said one day they had a pot luck kind of thing and he just stood there and ate plate after plate of food. Robin said when you're brainwashed at a certain age you're mentally captive.
Howard asked Eugene if he ever told his kids he had square headed babies in the attic. Eugene said he never did. He said he didn't want his kids to be that fucked up. Howard said maybe when you're that abusive to your kids you say you went to Disneyland. Howard said they had 13 kids so it was tough to feed and bathe them.
Howard let Eugene go and said if he's ever in town stop by. Howard said he never trusts a man with a Moe hair cut.
Howard had the 13 kids from California who talk in a monotone. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were all speaking together in a monotone. They were talking about how bad the orphanage is where they're staying. Robin would ask a question and they'd all tell her to shut up at the same time. The kids all asked if Howard has room for 13 cages in his house. Howard said he only takes care of cats. He let them go a short time later.
Howard said they sound a little better. Robin said it has to be weird for them to be in a new home with new rules.
Howard said he has a new song parody about Scott called ''Never Hustle'' to the tune of ''Do the Hustle.'' He played the song that Scott actually performed himself. Robin said they call this ''congestion pricing.'' Robin said it's driving below 60th street. Robin said just don't bring the car down there.
Howard said the other sad news was that Tom Petty died of an accidental drug overdose. Howard said he was prescribed some stuff for pain and when you take it you have to be really careful. He said Tom had a bad hip and all of that. He said he wasn't one of those guys who jumped around a lot. Fred said when he was younger he did hop around a lot. Howard said a lot of guys jump around a lot and get hurt. He said he read about Prince and Eddie Van Halen getting injured from that. Howard said that's real sad that Tom died that way. He said he wasn't trying to kill himself or anything. He said maybe he didn't know how much he took. Robin said she's wondering what kind of mistake it was.
Howard said they did a good job with Wonder Woman. The caller agreed but he said it seems like overall they don't do as good a job as the Marvel movies. Howard said that Marvel also hires the best people. He said getting Robert Downey Jr. to play Iron Man was genius. He said that was his big comeback and a lot of studios would have turned that down. He said that it turned out to be the best move. He said he's fun to watch. He said it's just cool with the whole thing they have going now.
The caller said he thought Black Lightning show wasn't that good. He said he thought it would be better. Howard said it is just a TV show. He said he likes it. Robin said in Gotham you see that they are spending the money.
Howard said that Black Lightning should be called Blue Lightning. He said it's weird how they call black characters ''black something.'' He said he has blue lightning though. The caller asked Howard thinks that the guy who plays Flash on the TV show is pissed he's not in the movies. Howard said he doesn't look like a super hero. He said he likes the guy though.
The caller said that Howard takes great cat photos. He said he saw the pictures he shared. Robin said his Christmas card was a cat too. Howard said he did that in black and white and Robin thought it was in color. Howard asked what's up with her.
Howard said his favorite story about Robin was when She named her cat Yoda and forgot that they had a cat named Yoda. Howard said he told her that they have a cat named Yoda and She had completely forgotten about it. He said She had read the book. Howard said Robin thought her cat looked like Yoda. Robin said She wasn't naming her cat after their cat. Howard said Robin renamed her cat after that. Robin said what Howard claimed he had a cat named Simba after She renamed her cat. Howard said you can't turn this around on him. Howard asked where the tape of that is. Robin said it might not have been on the air.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said one of the problems with the DC comic movies is the director they use for many of the films. He said she's very dark. Ralph said Jim Lee should call him for advice on that. Fred played Ralph off with music.
Gary told Howard that in the notes they have about the day Robin was told about Yoda She said She had compartmentalized the name even though She had the book on her shelf. Ralph said that means she's crazy. They played a song parody about Robin naming her cat Yoda. Howard said other than that Robin is pretty normal. Robin said She keeps it together mostly.
Howard said he brings that up sometimes and he thinks it's weird. Robin said it is bizarre but it doesn't make her crazy. Robin said She thinks about it every day that She calls Simba. She said that he's used to the name now though. Howard said Robin is one of the most together people. He said it's like the 13 kids that were chained to the bed but they went to Disneyland once a year. Howard said that's weird. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard said he got a lot of email about Jon Bon Jovi. He said he saw in the news that they picked up the story about Jon claiming that Trump had a campaign against him to buy the Bills. Howard said he has a news report where this guy says he doesn't believe Jon's story. Howard said he didn't have anything to back that up though. Howard said Jon said he was going to move up there if he bought the team. The news guy didn't believe that. Howard played the clip and the news reporter said he doesn't buy it for a second. One of the news people said She believes it.
Howard said that's a weirdo. He said no wonder he's in Buffalo. He said it's such a bizarre statement to make. Howard said he's the one in the interview saying it. Howard said Jon told him he was going to move up there if he bought the team. Howard said he sees football as like watching gladiators. He said he wouldn't want to be a part of that. He said it's owning a team that makes people go in there and get concussions. He said that he and Jon talked about it off the air and he was ready go move up to Buffalo. He said Jon wasn't just doing it as a vanity project.
Howard said he's not sure why the guy would say that. He said it wasn't Jon saying it, it was him.
Howard said he was also ragging on Lorde recently and that got picked up in the news. He said there were a million reports about that. He said they called him the foul mouthed and disgusting Howard Stern. He said his rap was filled with cursing. He said that his mother always told him that cursing is for people without a large vocabulary. He said that he should have saved every description of him in the press. He said it was like ''the hideous creature'' and Lorde. He said no matter what he's saying he's the hideous creature. He said he's like Frankenstein returning to the village. He said people hate him.
Robin said he is completely misunderstood. Howard said he should be used to it by now but he's not. He said he's just reading the description of him. Robin said he has caused some catastrophes. Howard said he's the reason North Korea doesn't like us. He said he's like the Incubus.
Howard said this is a guy yelling out Baba Booey during a live news report. Howard played that one too. The reporter was trying to do his job and the guy was yelling it out but stopped when he asked if they're live. Howard said he loves that. He said it sounds like Gary the Conqueror yelling it out. He said he got it out there. Robin said then he acts like he doesn't know if he's recording.
Howard said Baba Booey is still the thing to yell out. He said it's still more popular than ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard played a Baba Booey song parody.
Howard said a horse race announcer yelled out ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard played that clip and then said there's another clip of a guy who had a viral video slipping on the ice in his driveway. Howard said the guy was interviewed and he threw in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard played that clip and the guy threw that in while describing what happened.
Howard took a call from Chad in St. Louis who asked what's going on with the porn stars who have died lately. Howard said he has no idea who he's talking about. He said he doesn't know the porn stars of today. Chad said one died in rehab recently and another one got bullied online over some things She said. Howard said he's not sure. He said it's not the most uplifting job to have. He said he would imagine there's a high rate of death. He said you're an outcast if you're in the business. He said it's a fucking dark life. He said for many years they would interview porn stars endlessly. He said you always come back to it being this life where they are on the outside.
Robin said She remembers hearing that you give up the daylight. Robin said you become a person of the night. She said you separate from your family and friends and you immerse yourself in that world that separates you from everyone else.
Howard read some of the people they lost last year. Chad said one of them hanged herself. JD said he was a fan of Shayla Styles.
Brent came in and said that there are a lot of sad stories with the porn stars. Howard asked if JD can beat off to the woman's films. JD said if he keeps it to the basics he could. He said if She died some gruesome death he's not sure he could. Howard said She killed herself. Gary said it doesn't seem to affect anyone in the office. He said one of the guys said they were on a porn site and he jerked off to the video after hearing She was dead.
Howard said he heard about Stormy Daniels and didn't want to jerk off to her thinking about how She slept with Trump. Howard said fire anyone who says they jerked off to a woman who died. Gary said it's two of the highest people there. Howard said he looks at stuff just to see who they were when he finds out they died.
Robin said it's even weird when you have someone in your life who is dead. Howard said he has fucked people who are now dead. He said he thinks about them sometimes. Howard said they had some wild times. He said She was hot. He said they did things that maybe shouldn't have been done. Howard said Fred only jerks off to people who are dead. Fred said they don't move. Howard said he may have jerked off to this person who is dead. He said he thinks he was able to do that. He said it was very hot. He said maybe he didn't cum.
Howard said he's trying to think if he has jerked off to anyone who has died. He said it's a weird thing.
Howard said they say that August Ames is the number 2 porn star. He said she's the one who hanged herself. Howard said he doesn't even know who She is. He said he's kind of proud of that. Howard said there are some names like Ron Jeremy that you just know. Howard asked how that guy got known. Brent said he was big enough that he could suck his own cock. Howard said that's one thing to be known for. Brent said he thinks Ron can just sit and do it. Howard said he's not sure he could get that into his own mouth if he laid on his back.
Howard said he's not sure why so many porn stars are dying. Chad said it's weird that prostitution is illegal but you can fuck on film. He said that everyone should tell their porn stars that they love them. Howard agreed. Chad mentioned one of his favorites now. He said he hopes that things get better for her and She sticks around.
Howard wondered what name they put on the gravestone. Brent said that it must be the real name and not the stage name. Howard said you'd think that you'd put The Greaseman on the gravestone. Robin said that August was Mercedes Grabowsky. Howard said that sounds like a porn name more than August Ames.
Howard said he'd like to know if Wolfman Jack has ''Wolfman'' on the gravestone. He said he bets it does. Fred looked it up and he does have Wolfman Jack on the gravestone. Howard said he hasn't figured out what to put on his. Robin said She won't have one. Howard said he's going to put ''Howard Stern Leave Me Alone'' on his. Robin said she's not going to have an urn or anything when She dies. She said she'll be cremated. Fred said he will too. He said it's a waste of earth to be buried.
Howard said they should get a mass gave and be buried together. Robin said Howard doesn't want bugs eating him. Howard said he should have a mass grave so anyone on the show can go in there. He said even superfans and Wack Packers. Howard said they just push you in the ditch.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn to find out if She wanted to be in that grave. Mariann said of course She does. She said that would be cool. She said all of the fans would come. Howard said Bobo could be in there. Mariann said that Jeff the Drunk and High Pitch Erik would be in there. She said Howard said no fucking Benjy and he's right.
Mariann said that Millie Bobby Brown got a boyfriend. Howard said he saw that. He said She has a young boyfriend. Mariann said he's a YouTube sensation. She asked what her agent would say about that. Howard went into his Millie Bobby Brown agent voice and talked about how that was all organized. The Agent was telling Robin about how the kid doesn't have any hair on his balls or anything yet. Robin said they say that She came out with a new style recently. The Agent said they gave her more of an adult style. She got more mentions in the media after that. Robin said they say She has grown up over night. The Agent said She has more of a grown up look. He said She has to get leading lady roles. He said they have the whole thing mapped out for her. He said when She turns 19 she's going to date a man of color. He said that She will never have any tattoos or anything like that. He said they will have her date a rap star or someone for a little while so everyone likes her. He said they have all kind of endorsements and things for her. He said she'll be around a long time. The Agent said she'll be the next Meryl Streep. He said he can smell it like you haven't bathed in a year.
Howard said the boyfriend has a thing going with the YouTube thing. He said he has over 55 million plays whatever that is.
Robin said there are kids who are the kids of famous people who date other kids of famous people. Robin asked what Howard thinks about that. Howard said they're lucky. He said he wishes he could have had that.
Tan Mom said they were talking about that porn thing and that girl Jessica whatever. Tan Mom said She showed up to sign some autographs and Gina set it up. She said cut to the chase She was wearing the same hat as her and She said she's just a fucking bore. Howard sake Robin if She has nay idea what's going on in this conversation. Robin said no. She said She thinks they were signing things somewhere and they were wearing the same hat.
Howard had Shuli as Tanner Mom on the line. Howard said She might be able to help with this. Howard had Tan Mom talk to Tanner Mom. Tan Mom started in with the Jessica sorry again. Tanner Mom said that She was the one who called in with the birthday wish. Tan Mom said She got Howard a birthday gift. Tan Mom said get this girl off the phone. She said She just called to talk to Howard and Robin.
Tan Mom asked Howard to get this chick off the phone. Howard told her to get off the line. Shuli kept going with the Tanner Mom thing. Tanner Mom asked what She was wearing. Tan Mom said she's not wearing anything. Tanner Mom told Howard to cancel her Sirius. She said She doesn't like her.
Tanner Mom asked Tan Mom to prove it's her to slap her tits on the phone. Tan Mom wasn't going for that.
Howard asked Tan Mom what's going on. Tan Mom said that She was dropped off downstairs and then said something about Ronnie. She asked what happened the other day when everyone was quashing Ronnie. Howard said he still has no idea what she's talking about. He said he never knows what she's referencing. He said he can't have a conversation with her. Howard said he has to go. Tan Mom said she's on Speakerphone right now but she's going to call back. Howard said he can hear her just fine. Tan Mom said he's not sure why he can't understand her. Howard said he just has to go.
Howard said he listens to these clips of Shuli talking to Tan Mom all the time. He said he has a clip of her talking about her trip to California and he gets numbed by it. Howard played a clip of Tan Mom talking about going to meet up with Pinsky and Dr. Drew in California. She said she's trying to go in segments of movies. She said she's blind so it's difficult to read. She said She isn't sure how you see it.
Howard said he was like ''What the fuck?'' when he heard that. Howard asked Shuli if she's really going out there to see Dr. Drew. Shuli said he gets her for about 8 seconds. He said he'll ask her again and She mentions something that he doesn't get. Howard said he thinks She said She was going to Paramount. Shuli said he thought it was Panama. Howard said Dr. Drew must have a lot there. Howard said She was talking about how She can't read and She can't remember. Robin said She can't do any of that. Howard said he has heard this like 7 times to get to that. Robin said She doesn't have to have a memory.
Howard said there's a rumor that She has head trauma. Shuli said that is something she's mentioned. Howard had Tan Mom back on the phone and She said She has two plates in her head. Shuli said She was thrown down a well one time. Howard did his impression of that. Howard asked how She was thrown down a well. Tan Mom said She was on Long Island. She said She was in there for 7 days. Howard asked if she's Baby Jessica. Tan Mom said ''Oh my god.'' Howard said She was stuck in a well for 7 days and it wasn't in the news. Shuli said She was also kidnapped. Howard asked how She ate in the well. Tan Mom her family found her after 7 days. She said She was maybe 18 when that happened. She said She was out partying and dancing and She was with this guy She knew and he threw her down the well. Tan Mom said people are crazy.
Howard said a week in a well is something. He asked if it's in the newspaper. Tan Mom said no. She said her family didn't want anything in the news. Howard asked if they went to the police. Tan Mom said they did. She said one guy after another and whatever. She said She is talking about going out and partying at 19. Howard asked where this well is. Tan Mom said it was way back when She was 19. She said it was in some part of Lloyd's Neck. Howard said that's a nice area. Howard asked if Shuli believes this. Shuli said that he does. Robin asked if there was water in the well. Tan Mom said that She thinks it was like 7 feet deep. Robin said She could have crawled out.
Howard asked if She shit in the well. Tan Mom said of course She did. She said She just had to drink water the whole time She was in there. Shuli asked if She threw the doody up to get people's attention.
Tan Mom said She owns her own life. Howard said She is very complex. Tan Mom agreed. She said She had a lot of things happen to her. She said this is why She has problems walking. Howard said She was thrown down the well. Tan Mom said She was proclaimed dead twice. She said they brought her back to life. He said She lost half of her sight and She can't see out of her left eye. She said that was after the well incident.
Howard said he's just trying to follow all of this. He said the accusation that She was thrown down a well is wild.
Gary said She did an interview with the NY Post and She claims that She was cold cocked and that didn't mention the well. Shuli said that was a different story. Howard asked why the guy hit her. Tan Mom said he was completely drunk and She was 3 months pregnant. She said he was hitting on her and She swung her hand back and said no thank you. She said he cold cocked her and She doesn't remember anything. She said She went flying across the bar with that.
Howard said he's just trying to understand. He said he knows She likes to tan. That's it. Howard said if he was in a well for 7 days he'd want to get a tan too. Tan Mom said the clay is good for your face in the well.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk has something to say to Tan Mom. Howard said he doesn't believe her story. Howard took Jeff's call and he said she's making it up as She goes. Howard said it happened. Shuli said this is the guy who is telling you what's fake. The guy who beats off to dudes.
Tan Mom said She called in for some happy stuff. Howard said they can only hope Jeff falls down a well.
Howard said he has the well on the phone. He took the call from the guys in the back who were doing an impression of the well that Tan Mom fell down. The Well said that people were just throwing pennies on her head down there. Tan Mom said it was really grounding.
Howard took another call from Jeff the Drunk who said what she's saying about the well isn't true. Howard said She was thrown. Jeff said She just wanted to get on TV. Howard asked Jeff if he was tricked by guys. He asked how he knows what's fake. Jeff said fuck you Howard. He said he still thinks Tan Mom is lying. Howard said he really has to get going. Tan Mom said She does too. She said She broke a nail and almost glued her head to it.
Howard let Tan Mom go and talked to Shuli as Tanner Mom. Tanner Mom said She just got hit in the head by a quarter in the well.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to stop with the Tan Mom thing. He said she's not a Wack Packer. He said she's just a skragy old crack head or something. that led to Shuli doing his Tanner Mom impression. The caller said that's the best part of Tan Mom.
Howard said the woman did fall down a well. The caller said he thinks that's B.S. too. He said that Benjy is less fabricated than her. Howard said he has to take a break. He let Tanner Mom go and did a live commercial read before going to break.
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Howard said it's time for some news. They played her into it with a song parody. Howard said Tan Mom was once swallowed by a whale. He said no one knows that.
Robin started her news with a story about the Trump book Fire and Fury. Howard said he's 52 percent of the way through that book. He said he only reads at certain times of day. He said it takes him a long time to get through a book. He said he's not in a rush. He said the book is interesting. Robin said the book is just gossip. She said it's not helpful. Howard asked if She has read it. Robin said She sees what people are doing with it. Gary said he's shocked by this. He said it's not just gossip. He said it gives a view into what's going on with the President. Howard said Wolff interviewed over 200 people. Robin said She thinks this guy just wanted to make money. Gary asked what she's basing this on. Robin said she's just saying this guy just wants to make money. She said he doesn't care about the Russia investigation. Howard asked what it has to do with anything. Robin said we know that there was chaos in the White House. Robin said many of these people didn't know they were being interviewed. Howard said that he spent lots of hours with Bannon and others. Howard said Bannon is now being interrogated by the FBI because of that book. He said what Robin is saying doesn't make sense. Gary said it's like that woman who reviewed their Pay Per View without seeing it. Robin said she's not reviewing it. She said that this guy is sitting there talking about how people call Trump an asshole behind his back but the book is worthless. Howard said he doesn't get what her problem is. Robin asked why we need to know if someone is calling Trump an asshole behind his back. Howard said it's interesting to read. He said that he doesn't mind books about him that are from people who don't like him.
Gary came in and asked what's wrong with Robin. He said everyone is wondering what's going on with her. Gary said that they call Trump an idiot and not an asshole. Robin was arguing with Gary but Gary kept pointing out that She never read the book. Howard said he approves of the book but She doesn't have to read it if She doesn't want to. Robin said She wouldn't read this. Howard said Sarah Huckabee Sanders is on the phone and She says she's right. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who had a woman playing the part of Sanders and thanking Robin for backing the President. She said that what people have to remember is that She came out of Mike Huckabee's dick. Robin said at least someone understands her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the book is 50 percent a work of fiction. Howard said they never said that. He said he interviewed people on and off the record and put together the pieces of the story he felt should be told. Howard said he's getting something out of it. Robin asked how it's enhancing his life. Howard said he's going to base his vote on what he's reading. Howard said he feels that this guy put in endless hours of interviews around the campaign and the White House.
Howard said he has Oprah on the phone. He said she's calling in to talk about her presidency. Howard said She probably won't read it. He said he might. Robin said She will read Oprah's book. Howard asked if She ever reads history books. Robin said they are historians who care about the history and this guy Wolff isn't. She said it's not the kind of work you do when you care about history.
Robin read a story about pirated digital copies of the book are spreading malware to computers. Robin said stay away from pirated copies of Fire and Fury. Robin said it could give hackers a back door to your computer.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they have to stop attacking Robin about this. He said she's just against gossip and hearsay. He said it's ripping the country apart and it's bullshit. Howard said if it's an interview with Steve Bannon it's not hearsay. The caller said they have done this to Howard in the paper. Howard asked if he's saying that it's lies or their point of view is wrong. He said he has to get off of this and move on.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can throw Robin out of there. He said they're stuck in her vortex now. He said get Benjy in there. He said he can't stand Robin. Howard said stop it.
Howard took a call from fake Donald Trump who said the book is a total fraud book. He said if it's so good why haven't they made a movie out of it. Howard said he doesn't have an answer for that. Howard said anyone can write a book and anyone can get something out of it. Howard let fake Trump go a short time later. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Stormy Daniels going out and touring after the news that She might have dated the President and was paid to be silent. Robin said She made an appearance a club in South Carolina and the owner said it was the biggest night ever for the club. Robin said he calls his club ''like Cheers with breasts.'' Howard asked if they should talk to her if she's available. Robin said yes. She said She would like that. Howard said She can't talk about Trump though. He said she's under a gag order. Robin said her friends are saying She had some dates and She talked about it with them. Howard asked if that would be too tabloid for her. Robin said she's not opposed to it. Just say what it is.
Robin read a story about how Matt Lauer was kicked out of his house by his wife according to Page Six. Robin said they say that his wife has been upset since the whole story came out. Howard said sometimes guys don't want to leave. Robin said She knows people who have hung sheets in the house to divide it. Robin said they say that Matt is living elsewhere now. He apparently owns a lot of real estate. Howard said Gary's parents tried to separate. Gary said they had no money. He said his father moved into a house with 3 other guys and all he had was a hot plate. Howard said he said fuck that and went home. Howard said he figured out how to get along with his wife. Robin said he figured that was worse than living with his wife. Gary said they were in separate rooms but they'd go out to dinner. He said he's not sure what was going on. He said his dad was a beaten man.
Gary said his dad asked for a hot plate for Christmas. He said he took nothing with him when he moved out. Howard asked how he met these guys. Gary said there's a network for guys like that. He said his father walked in and there was no furniture in the house. He had his own bedroom in the house. He said he thinks he had a mini fridge. He said he never went there. Howard said it's like college. He said when you're in your 60s you don't want roommates. Howard said Jeff the Drunk has it better than his dad did. Gary said he's right about that. Howard said Jeff is upstate New York though. He said he has everything he needs up there. Howard said his dad needed to study Jeff the Drunk. Howard said that's probably why Sal stayed married. He couldn't afford it. Gary said Sal won't tell the truth about that anymore but that's what he thinks too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Amazon and how they are opening their new Amazon Go store. Robin said it allows shoppers to grab what they need and just go. Howard asked if you pick up an order you placed online. Robin said no. She said they scan your credentials when you walk in and then you take what you want and walk out. Robin said they have sensors and deep learning going on and it all makes for a hands off type of thing. Robin said it just sees what you're getting and you go. Robin said they are opening up these brick and mortar stores so you can shop in person. Howard said what a company. He said the shit they're into is something. Howard said Jeff Bezos is worth billions. He said he runs a hell of a business. Robin said the one thing you have to worry about is when automation takes over you lose jobs. Robin said the checkout jobs could be lost to this tech. Howard said he figures you need people around to monitor it all. Robin said they're not cashiers. Howard said it's amazing but he's not sure what the social implications are.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who still had the shitty phone connection. Howard said he can't just be like everyone else and have a good connection. King said he can see the bars now so it has to be good. Howard asked what he can do for him. King said it's not that hard to get a Rolex watch. He said he has one. He said you just go into a store and buy one. Howard asked what's going on today. Robin said he must be calling back to a thing they talked about earlier. Howard said he had no clue what they were talking about. Robin said it was a reference during the Imus discussion. Howard said Robin is good. He said it's not easy to get a Rolex. He said you have to have a lot of money. He said King was lucky enough to have a father who left him money. Howard said he has no idea why he's calling in other than to brag. He said he's a fucking maniac. Howard said he's a weird dude. Robin said very. Howard said King thinks that's all funny. He said he had a wealthy father who bought him shit.
Robin read a story about the women's marches that were going on around the country. Howard said his daughter marched. Robin said She was with Howard not marching. Howard said they were with them in spirit. He said they didn't want to distract anyone from the purpose. Howard said he can see Fred's wife marching. Fred said She didn't but their daughter did. He said She went with 4 of her friends. Howard said he'd get nervous letting her go. Fred said there were a lot of women around and not so many men. Robin had some audio of some chants that were going on at the march in the city. Robin had some audio of Jane Fonda speaking too. Howard said she's turning 80 and She has more energy than he does. He said he gets up around 5:30 or 6 and then eats and then takes a nap. Robin said She doesn't have the energy She used to have either. Robin said She doesn't get up as early as She used to either. Howard said Jane just had cancer removed from her lip and She did the show. Howard said he would be in bed for a month or two if he did that. He said she's amazing. Howard had some audio of the men at the march. He had guys chanting ''Show your tits!'' Robin said that must be from Wing Bowl. Howard said he got confused. Robin had more clips from the marches to play.
Robin read a story about the SAG awards that were on last night. Howard said he was in bed. He said he's exhausted. He said he would have liked to have seen those awards. Robin said she's not sure what James Franco is supposed to do. She said that he's big news around these award shows. Howard said his movie was doing real well but now he's being accused of ding stuff to women. Robin said he was mentioned by Scarlett Johansson in a speech. Robin had some audio of her making a speech about Franco but not giving details. Howard said She made 3 movies with Woody Allen though. Robin said that's the backlash that she's getting now. Robin said people are pointing that out and she's saying that it's just stories about him and She couldn't validate not working with him based on the way things were failing out. Robin said they'll have to see how She deals with it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about the SAG awards and how Alison Brie was asked about James Franco. Robin said Alison is James' sister in law. Robin had some audio of her talking about Franco. Howard said that's a tough one to answer. He said She had to play that game of being supportive of Franco but also of #TimesUp.
Robin said Aziz Ansari is still in the news. She said She saw some editorials about Asian women having trouble figuring out if he can be a role model now. Robin said Aziz was a role model before. Howard said it doesn't sound like he did anything from what he's read. He said he'd say he's okay. Robin said he can't speak for the women though. Howard said okay.
Robin read more about the SAG awards and some of the winners. Robin said a lot of the award quality movies are very good but still unseen. Robin read about some of the other winners at the awards. Robin had some audio for Howard to play too.
Robin read a story about the Super Bowl now being set. Robin said it's in 2 weeks. Howard said he'll be there by his TV watching. Howard had her make a prediction. Robin said She knows nothing. Howard said no one does. Robin said She thinks that destiny is on the side of the Patriots. Howard said he thinks the odds are against them because they have won so many times. Howard said they are so winning. He said that game yesterday was so bizarre. He said they come from behind and just win. Robin said they wear you out. She said they are still strong in the 4th quarter. Howard said it was a good game. Robin had some audio of Bill Belichick getting upset with the reporters after the game. Howard said he's a really angry dude. Robin said he just won and he's still not answering questions.
Robin read a story about the boy who came here from Cuba to have a tumor removed from his face has died. Robin said he had a 10 pound tumor on his face. A few days later he had lung and kidney complications and he died on Friday night. Robin said it was as big as a basketball and covered his face. Robin said it was benign but it pressed on his wind pipe so it threatened his life. Robin said now he's gone. Howard said some people think he has a face tumor but that's just his face.
Robin read a story about Lee Boyd Malvo who is up for new sentencing because of his age at the time of the crimes. Robin said he may be re sentenced. Robin asked what Howard would do. Howard asked how old he was at the time. Robin said he may have been 18. Howard said he should have gone to the cops at the time. Howard said he was 18 and you know the right thing to do at that age.
Robin asked if Howard cares about Kanye and Kim and what they named their new baby. Howard said no. Robin said they treat them like royalty. Howard said She has like 50 million Twitter or Instagram followers. Howard said it's baffling. He said it's bigger than any radio audience they've had. Howard said She has 50 million followers. He corrected it and said it's 106 million on Instagram. Robin said they announced on Twitter the name of their baby. Robin said the girl will be named Chicago. Fred played Riley Martin saying ''Willy Fistergash'' and ''Hugh Jassole.'' He played some clips of Evil Dave mispronouncing names too. He had some audio of Beetlejuice screwing up names too.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown and how they're working on bringing that back up and running. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read a story about Arizona being number 1 in pro-life states in the nation. Robin said they were named that on some list that an organization came out with.
Robin read a story about Tom Petty and how he died of an accidental overdose.
Robin read a story about a 2018 Corvette that sold for 1.4 million at the Barrett Jackson auction over the weekend. Robin said the money is going to support veterans who have served since 9/11.
Robin read a story about Ed Sheeran getting married. Robin said he's engaged to his long time girlfriend Cherry Seaborne. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how he just had a big meeting with the boys trying to figure out how to do the show from Florida. He said they're all done with the cold weather. He said the only reason they don't is because of guests. Howard said Jon said that Oprah didn't do it from New York or California. Robin said they've been talking about this for 20 years.
Howard said he was thinking about Imus retiring. He said he was getting sad over it. He said it affected him yesterday. He said he doesn't have time to reflect because he's so busy. He said it's part of their history. He said if Batman lost the Riddler he'd be kind of sad. Robin said when Kevin Metheney died She didn't know how to respond. Howard said he was their Program Director at WNBC.
Howard said he has a problem with is computer. He asked the boys to take care of that. He said it's kind of depressing that everyone is aging out. He said he respects the longevity of his career. He said he has some respect for the guy. He said he knows how hard it is to keep a show going. Robin said that's one that shouldn't have kept going. She said she's pissed he lasted that long. Howard said time is passing by and he's part of their history. He said it makes him sad.
Robin said She knows the abuse he leveled on people. Howard said he's not forgetting that. Robin said he isn't a nice man. Howard said it's the passage of time going by. Robin said it's like being sad that Hitler died. Howard said it's not that bad. He said he's not forgetting about what he did. He said it seems like in a blink of the eye they were back at WNBC and now it's 2018 and Imus is all old and beaten up. Howard said it's so weird watching people go.
Robin said She had this conversation with a young woman about how weird life is. She said She was going through her father dying at the time. Robin said She was talking about how life is strange and we keep producing people but they know they have to go through a lot of crap. Howard said it's not easy. He said there's something all tied in with what he's feeling. Robin said it just keeps happening over and over. Howard said that's what he's talking about.
Howard said it's all weird. He said he had to find a new doctor to get a physical. He said his retired and he had to find a new one. He said he went off to be a ventriloquist. Howard said he's a guy he really liked so he had to find a new one. He said he went to his first appointment yesterday. He said he's a good guy. He said even that passage of time is weird. He said it was weird because this guy looks like a kid. His assistant said to him he looked like he was in his 40s. He said he told his wife that. He said he doesn't think he looks that young.
Robin said someone was watching Private Parts recently and they asked her about walking into the office the first time. She said they said She was hot. Robin said She ''was'' hot.
Howard said his favorite picture of Robin is when they played softball at NBC and She was in that outfit. He said She looked good. Robin said they were all babies then. Fred said she's standing on one leg in that picture. Howard said that was her Raquel Welch picture. He said She looked great. Fred said She filled out that uniform nicely.
Howard said they played a celebrity game in Shea Stadium before a Met game. He said they were playing the Hilton Hotels and they had a bunch of ringers. He said they were a bunch of Puerto Ricans and they were in a league. He said he got a double after everyone was striking out. He said it was like he was A-Rod.
Robin said She thinks Howard could have been good at some sport. Howard said if he had someone to guide him he could have. He said he didn't have that growing up though. He said he never had any direction in that area. He said it was all about radio. Robin said no one encouraged him there either. Howard said he thinks his father did in some way.
Howard said his new doctor doesn't put his finger up your ass. He said he tells him that they've been over diagnosing prostate cancer with that. He said he was pleased with that. Robin said no one wants that. Howard said he doesn't know what to say but he didn't have a finger up his asshole so he was a happy man.
Howard said he went to get an EKG and he has to remember to shave down before that. He said he hated that.
Howard said he was talking to the guys about doing a show in New York. He said it's so expensive with the taxes. He said what Sirius should do is move the studios to Florida. Then they contact someone at Viacom or something like that and set up a big complex of studios. He said they could knock off a bunch of shows down there. Howard said he hopes Jim Meyer is listening. He said they'd save money on taxes and they'd have a better lifestyle. He said that would never happen. He said living in New York is such a pain. He said just finding something is hard. He just farted. He apologized for that. He said he loves his own stink. Howard said it would be an easier lifestyle. He said they're going to be talking about the bathrooms there in the next segment.
Howard said the bathrooms are under construction and they don't have a lot of spare bathrooms. He said they'll talk about the problem with that in the next segment.
Robin said life in New York is tough. She said seeing people trying to get around with walkers is tough. Howard said he asked his mom and dad to go to Florida but they won't go. He said he loves it down there.
Howard said they had a meeting there about a year ago about doing the show down there. He said it's too overwhelming to do it though. He said he has to get Beth on board with it and that's tough. He said she's worried about the cats and all of that.
Howard said imagine Benjy down in Florida with that flaky skin. He said he's like Steve Bannon. Robin said he's got a lot going on with his face. Howard said they say in that book that Trump was asking about Bannon looking sloppy and dirty. Robin said She wondered if anyone noticed but her. Howard asked if She could fuck him. Robin said no. She asked if that stuff is catching. Howard said no.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Megyn Kelly and how She ripped Jane Fonda a new asshole yesterday. He said that he also can't get over missing out on Moby Worm too. Howard said he zoned out because he heard Benjy won't move to Florida if the show moves. Howard said that's another reason to go. Howard and Fred did their Benjy impressions and goofed on him about that. Howard said he's the one guy who has no connections to the city and could move and he won't go.
Howard said he was thinking about Megyn Kelly. He said her show isn't doing well so She has to lash out at something. Howard said Megyn had Jane Fonda on her show and She told her that She looked great and asked about the plastic surgery she's had. Howard said Jane didn't play along with her and didn't go with that. He said Jane said that Megyn showed she's not a good interviewer because of that. He said she's right. Howard said you have to work into something like that. He said you can't just bang someone over the head with something like that. He said you work into it.
Howard said Megyn got on TV yesterday and started yelling about Jane Fonda. Howard said she's doing it because it's a ratings grab. He said that She was talking about her being ''Hanoi Jane'' and all of that. Howard said that's such a simplistic way. He said that we were in a fucked up war and thousands of others were trying to end the war. He said She smacked her in the head to get the ratings grab. He said you ask yourself why She booked her on her show in the first place if She thinks that way. Robin asked why it didn't come up then. Howard said it's because it's all bullshit.
Robin said that Jane was a young woman with a career on the line and She was risking a lot. Robin said Megyn is beating up on an 80 year old woman. Howard said it wasn't fair. He said he doesn't remember Megyn standing up for guys like him who don't want to die in a war. He said imagine you die in Vietnam for a bunch of rich guys who wanted to get something going on. He said he doesn't remember Megyn going into the military and fighting. He asked what She has sacrificed. Howard said it was a cheap shot and it worked to get ratings. He said it's all a ratings grab and she's wiling to shit on Jane Fonda to get there.
The caller said he agrees with Howard and now he's looking forward to the next shitty segment. Howard said it will be the shittiest segment he's ever heard.
Howard said he contacted someone in radio and asked about Imus. He said he works for Cumulus and they said they're not paying Imus anymore. Howard said even Imus got on the air and asked why they would. He said this guy he was talking to thinks Imus is done for real. He said at WABC they have a studio for Imus but he doesn't use it. He hasn't used it in years. He said he was also told that Tim Russert asked Imus why he's not beating Howard Stern in the morning and Imus said ''because he's funnier than we are.'' He said he liked that story.
Howard said he heard Gary was talking for him on the Wrap Up Show and he said he wouldn't want Imus on the show if he wanted to come on. Howard said he thinks he'd have Imus on. He said it would be compelling radio. Gary said that's awesome. Howard said he's not sure he'd call him asking him to come on but if he did want to come on he'd have him on. Howard wondered who else Gary is turning down on his behalf.
Howard said they haven't heard from Priest and Boy in a while. He said this is the show from Miami. He said they have had a few episodes of it on the show. He said Priest and Boy went down to Miami. He said here they are. He played the bit where one of the guys went down to Miami doing this priest and boy bit where they ask people on the street to help with Spanish lessons. Then the boy shits out balloons of cocaine. The woman they were talking to told them to do it in the bushes.
Howard said that series is available to anyone who wants to buy it. He said those two are ready to be on TV.
Howard said Julia Roberts was the highest paid actor because She put asses in the seat. He said you have an agent and they go in and negotiate. He said that's how you get paid. Howard said he wishes he remembered Mo'Nique doing the show but you can't compare yourself to Chappelle. He said he's in a category that isn't comparable.
Gary came in and said he may be wrong about having Mo'Nique on the show. He said he might be confusing her with Thea Vidale. He said he's very embarrassed by that. Robin said She thought Mo'Nique was on the show too. Howard said he jumped right on him when he said that. They played a Baba Booey song parody after that. Howard said this proves that no one knows Mo'Nique. He said he's all for equal pay for equal work but that's not the same thing. Fred said that Gary was confusing Mo'Nique for Thea Vidale.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Howard isn't in the radio hall of fame while these other people are. Howard said he is in the radio hall of fame. Gary said he's not in the NAB radio hall of fame though. Howard said he won't go pick up his statue. He said he probably did get one but Gary may have thrown it out. Robin said She got her's and She dropped it. She said that's what should happen.
Howard said he had that Blockbuster award and that broke. He said it was really nice. He said he got that for Private Parts and it broke. He said he had it displayed. He said it's so bogus. He was told he won ahead of time and he had to pretend he was surprised. Robin said it's not something you see and know what it is. Robin said it's not an Emmy or an Oscar.
Howard said he won for best Newcomer. He said the radio awards are bogus too. He said there's no reason to get worked up over it.
Howard said he did win the best hair award 4 years in a row too. Robin said he won every time they gave that award out since it's inception.
Howard said this woman talks about how her asshole wall was pushed through her pussy. He played another clip. Howard said this is why people are killing themselves.
Howard played a clip of a porn star talking about how a guy shot blood from his dick when he came.
Howard said he has a guy talking about a woman pissing all over the set of the movie. In the clip the guy talked about how She came a bunch of times and pissed all over. He said it was a urine soaked bed by the end of it. He said the crew all covered their faces and noses because of the smell.
Howard said this is why people are killing themselves. Robin said there are some documentaries about retired porn stars on Netflix and they're really sad. Robin said they don't talk about what they did during their careers. She said they talk about how they try to live a normal life after it.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking about a girl being on her period and She had a tampon in. She took her tampon out and threw it. She was bleeding and She licked it up. She didn't prep for anal but they did it and She shit on him. He said She came back with vanilla ice cream and put that on to cover it up. That didn't work so they sent her home for the day.
Howard said Robin came over to Jon Bon Jovi asking if She can go to the hall of fame. He said She asked Jon but he said he would bring her. Howard said he was in shock. He said he didn't want to induct anyone into the hall of fame. He said he has been asked to do it before. He said that he has to find a way to say no. He said it's insulting to say no but he doesn't like public speaking. He said he doesn't like being in front of crowds. He said he likes being on radio.
Howard said he likes Jon and he's a sweetheart of a guy. He said he's a good guy. The caller said he's a legend. Howard said he's a great guy. He said he's had him to his home over the years. He said he's been very kind to him over the years and did the birthday shows and all of that. Howard said when Jon called him he had a sixth sense about what he was going to do. He said he knew he was going to ask him. He thought about it and figured it out. He said he told his wife he thought he was going to ask him to induct him. Howard said he can't do this to him. He said Jon knew. He called him on the phone and asked to see him face to face. He said he was smart to do that.
Howard said he loves rock music and Jon's music. He said he thinks Jon should be inducted by a musician. He said he looked at him with those puppy dog eyes that have gotten so many women and he wasn't able to say no. Robin said you can't say no to someone sitting in your car next to you. Howard said he wanted Jon to say he didn't really want him but he wanted him to do it.
Howard said he told Jon he has said no to other people before. The caller asked which other bands. Howard said there were 2 or 3 and he got out of it. He didn't want to say who it was. He said his agent is the one who turns them down. He said his agent is so good at saying no. He said he thanks god for Don Buchwald every day.
Howard said he is very honored to be asked to do it. He said he's not the right guy for the job. He said he's squirming and he tells Jon he'd be honored to do it. He said he can't say no when he's there in front of him. He said that all of the guys are nice guys. The caller said She heard Richie Sambora is going. Howard said of course he is. He said he's coming for him.
Howard said he said yes and then finds out that the thing is in Cleveland. Howard said his wife loves Bon Jovi and She says they have to go. He said he didn't want to go to Cleveland but he is going. The caller was making noise and Howard asked if She was doing laundry. The caller said she's driving to work. She said she's a nurse. Howard asked her some questions about where She went to school and things like that.
Howard said he thought this whole hall of fame thing was going to be in New York. He said he was going to go and do one night on the town. He said he'd be in bed by 9 o'clock. The caller said Cleveland is really nice. Howard told her to calm down and pay attention to the road.
Howard said he has to fly to Cleveland. He said he knows the hotel will be noisy. He said he fucking hates hotels. He said they must build them out of paper. He said you hear the noise and he's going to be exhausted. He said he hates hotels. He said that's why he doesn't go anywhere. He said he lives in fear of hotels.
Howard said he wants to be on the top floor and not near the elevator. He said they talk aback to you like you're a child. Howard asked if they ever spend a night in their own hotel. He said no. Robin said there's someone who has to live there.
Howard said he will never go back to this hotel in Miami. He said all night long they were blasting loud music. He asked what mental patient can stay there. He said he moved out to the pool and they allow the Paparazzi to photograph you there. Robin said some people have guards standing around them. Howard said he saw Jay Z and Beyonce there and they had two black guys guarding them. He asked what kind of vacation that is.
Howard said he is going to ask everyone to stop asking him to do stuff. He said he is doing Letterman's Netflix show. He said he's honored to do that too but he won't go to Indiana to do it. He said he's sure that Indiana is a nice place but he isn't going there to do an interview. He said do it there in New York. He said give him a break. Howard asked what's going on there. He said he's doing the interview in March. He said they're doing it there in Manhattan. He said he's doing it at 6 in the evening on March 1st or 2nd. He said he was wondering why they have to do it at that time. He said they could do it earlier. He said they have to do a load in at the place. Howard asked why it's his problem. that they have a load in. He said Load is the word. He said the radical brothers are a bunch of loads. He said they're going out of their way to make him miserable.
Howard said by 6 at night he's in bed. He said last night he was in bed by 6. He said he'd like to do it a little earlier so they're doing it at 5. He said you know it's going to be at 6. He said the whole thing is miserable.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him to stop complaining because his life is so hard. Howard said fuck you. He said no more inner thoughts. He said fuck off. They played song parody and Howard said he has had it with all of you. He said that caller can't listen anymore. He said you go to Indiana and sit there. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was trying to talk to Mariann about that sexy story but She wanted to talk about that. Howard said the challenge with the sexy story is to see if you can get a boner. He played another sexy story from Mariann. In that one Mariann talked about having sex with a mailman. All of the guys sitting in were laughing. Howard said that she's a good looking woman.
Howard asked Sal if he would fuck her. Sal said all day long. Shuli said he'd fuck Tan Mom. Sal said he'd fuck Shuli.
Howard said Gary told him that Ronnie saw porno that disgusted him yesterday. He said Ronnie isn't in there for this but he wants to know what he watched. Robin said it must have been a murder. Howard said he has to say hello to someone who hated Mariann's sex tip. It was one of the guys in the back office screaming about how he wants his dick off his body after hearing that.
Ronnie came in and told Howard about the porn he saw. He said this girl was on a bed and her head was down with her ass in the air. Howard said so far so good. Ronnie said then they took this stainless steel thing and opened up her asshole. He said it looked like a bowl. He said they took a box of cereal and poured it in. He said then they poured in milk. Howard said this is why they're killing themselves. Ronnie said then someone ate it out of her ass. JD said it sounds like he watched the whole thing. Ronnie said he did turn it off. Howard asked how long the video was. Ronnie said once the spoon went in her ass he stopped. Howard asked why anyone would do that.
Howard asked Sal if he's into that. Sal said he isn't. Howard said he doesn't like seeing that stuff stretched out.
Howard said he came home yesterday after the doctor appointment and he beat off. Ronnie asked why he's beating off so much. Howard said his wife hasn't been around. Shuli said that Ronnie doesn't think a dog licking a chick's pussy is a big deal. Ronnie said it wasn't a dog. Howard said he thinks he's losing his mind. He said he might be getting Alzheimer's. Ronnie said he wasn't watching a dog. Howard asked if he really doesn't remember that. Ronnie said it wasn't a dog. He said there was no dog.
Howard asked why it's weird if he jerks off. Ronnie said it's no different than what he's watching in Twitter. Howard said Ronnie is showing it at work. Ronnie said he talks about it all morning. He asked what the big deal is. Howard said Ronnie thinks what he does is something he can do. Howard said he has coworkers out there. Howard asked if he sees what's going on in the work place. Ronnie said Shuli isn't going to turn him in for that shit. Ronnie said he's not going to show it to anyone women there. Howard said this is getting exhausting. He said Ronnie is not him. He said he isn't doing a radio show out there.
Howard said when he talks about jerking off to porn he's doing a radio show. He said that's not a license for him to be out there doing that stuff. He said out there they are professional.
Howard asked why he can't understand this. He said he doesn't understand the difference. Shuli said that jerking off is a pit stop in your life. He said that sex is Ronnie's whole identity. Howard said he used to have Playboy mud flaps. Ronnie said it all gets turned around on him.
Howard said he's actually glad he's talking about this. He said Ronnie thinks he can do this stuff in the hall. Ronnie said he's not jerking off. He said he just likes to look at it. He said it gets him riled up. Howard said this is Howard 100 not Ronnie 100.
Howard said he has to get to the shit story. Ronnie said he has to go. Howard asked if he wants to be on the panel. Ronnie said no. He said he doesn't have any stories to tell.
Howard asked Ronnie if he carries baby wipes with him. Ronnie asked if he was kidding. He doesn't carry a bag with him. Shuli was goofing on him and Ronnie was getting pissed. He said he's so annoying.
Howard asked Ronnie if he just uses dry paper. Ronnie said yes because he doesn't bring anything with him. He said he only shits at home. He said he only shit there once. He said it was bad too.
Howard said they also have Steve Nowicki sitting in. Howard said he has a shit story. Steve said he's been collecting stories and pictures of the bathroom. Howard said they also have Memet on the panel today. He said Memet and Steve are playboys and Memet is jealous of Steve. Memet said he isn't that guy anymore. He said he has evolved. All of the guys laughed. Memet said he has learned some lessons and he's in therapy now. Jason said 2 weeks ago he was telling a guy to be mean to women. Memet said he wasn't saying be mean. He said he just said don't be so nice. Howard said that's the same thing as saying be mean. Memet said he's just saying don't try so hard.
Howard asked Steve why Memet is so bugged by him. Steve said he doesn't know. Gary said it seems like Steve doesn't have to work so hard. Memet said he doesn't have to work so hard. He said he is willing to pass on the title of the best looking guy to Steve. Gary asked who gave him the title. Memet said the world did. Howard said he has to get him out of this. He said Memet had the best looking guy title and he's giving that to Steve. Howard asked Steve how he feels. Steve said Memet is such a generous guy.
Howard said he never knew he had that title. Memet said he didn't give it to himself. He said America gave him that title. Howard said Memet is handing it over to Steve. Memet said he doesn't need it. Howard said therapy is working. Gary asked who Memet thinks is better looking. Memet said that he doesn't think of himself being good looking at all. Steve said he's very honored to have that title now.
Howard said sometimes Steve comes in and shares stories about how much sex he's having. Howard said he doesn't seem to be bragging.
Memet said he knows people call him an asshole around there. He said he hears the chatter. Howard asked who is calling him names there. Memet said he doesn't want to play that game. He said it's like family there.
Howard asked Steve when he went on a date last. Steve said he met a girl at a bar over the weekend and he was making out with her. He said She came on to him very strong. He said She was grabbing his dick over his pants within 20 seconds. Howard said this is an amazing ability.
Howard asked about this woman seeing him and found out She was 23. Steve said She was very into him and throwing herself at him. Howard asked how long it took for the kiss. Steve said it was maybe 10-15 minutes. Howard said he has a real man in there now. Memet said he's really happy for him. Howard asked if Memet has ever had that. Memet said he has had a woman come on to him in 15 minutes. He said that's a great story.
Howard said Steve is telling him that she's hot. Steve said She was maybe a 7.5. Howard said that's good. He said he used to go out with his friends and he was by himself. He said no one ever walked up to him.
Steve said after an hour of this girl he asked her to go back to his place and She said her brothers wouldn't like that. He said the guys were watching him for an hour. He said there was a weird dynamic. He said he got her number after that.
Howard asked if the girl was dressed hot. Steve said She had some cleavage. Howard said like Robin. Robin said Oh please. Richard said like Jason. Howard said like Jason with less hair. Howard asked if She looked like anyone famous. Steve said She wasn't smoking hot. He said he didn't want to turn it down though. Howard said within minutes she's kissing and fondling his penis over the pants. Steve said She was. He said it was hot. Howard said She was making out for over and hour. Steve said they danced and got some drinks. Howard asked if his buddies were doing okay too. Steve said they were. He said they were getting chicks too.
Memet asked if he hooked up with her later. Sal asked if he's an asshole or something. Steve said when he got home he jerked off and shot a load like nothing before. Shuli said he saw Steve turn down a chick a couple of weeks ago.
Robin said that Steve told a story about not being able to finish with a girl giving him a blow job because it wasn't a good one. Memet said he can't last 30 seconds in a blow job. He said he would rather go an hour and not finish than finish in 30 seconds.
Howard asked Robin who the best looking guy is out of Memet and Steve. Robin looked them over and said that they're both good looking. She said that Steve is the one who she'd pick out of the two. Memet said that he knows what's going on. He said Robin likes to pick on him and he thinks that women who do that have secretly done things. He said he thinks Robin is a beautiful woman. Howard said Benjy thinks Memet is hotter than Steve.
Howard said Memet recently peed on a girl. Memet said he did not. He said that he's a different guy now. Howard asked how it came out he peed on a girl. Memet said that you can't tell this story without sounding like a monster. Memet said sometimes people want that. Howard said some girl asked him to do that. Memet said yes. He said he's not into that and he's not looking for that. He said it's like a Bucket List thing. He said some day you can tell grand kids that you did that. He asked if any dude on the panel who wouldn't do that if a hot chick asked them to do it. Howard and Gary said they would do it.
Howard said Memet thinks they're putting him down for this and they're not. Howard said he asked Steve if he did something and he just tells him. He said he goes to Memet and he thinks they hate him. He said he's just asking him questions. Memet said when he answers they get interpreted in a different way.
Howard said he heard a great story about Memet. He said he heard he got such a violet blow job that the girl puked on him. Memet said it's true but when it comes from him it sounds weird. Howard took a call from Memet's Chatter. It was one of the guys in the back going back and forth like what might be going through Memet's head. Howard said that's his inner dialog. Robin said She wants to know why the girl vomited. Memet said it just happened. He said that he may have pushed her head down on it. He said some girls like it when you're a little more aggressive. He said She wanted that. Memet said She was a beautiful girl. Jason asked who he's apologizing to. Memet said no one. Robin said ''To her parents.''
Howard said if Steve told that story he'd just tell it. He said Memet is having that inner chatter going back and forth talking about what a good guy he is and all of that.
Howard asked Memet more about the puke story. Memet said he was laying on his back and She was doing it and he was using his hand a little bit. He said She said She was going to gag. He said he thought She was going to drool some. He said that can be hot. Memet said that She was a lovely girl. Howard said come on. Memet said that She puked all over him and it burns. He said they had a great time other than that. Howard asked how they clean it up. Memet said they were both embarrassed. Memet said She told him it was going to happen. He wasn't expecting that. He said he went to her shower and washed off.
Brent asked if he fucked her after that. Memet said he thinks they did. He said he would go back to her. He said he is moving away from that whole culture though.
Jason said Gary had the best puke story. He kept going after the girl puked. Gary said he didn't know She was puking.
Howard asked Memet if he has anything else on his bucket list. Memet said the threesome thing would be on there. Howard said Ronnie can help him with that. Steve said he hasn't had one either. Howard said Ronnie can give them both advice.
Howard said he bets that Ronnie has had one. The guys all thought that he did too. Shuli said he will say no. Howard had Ronnie come in again. Ronnie said Memet is the star of the show right now. Howard said Memet just has to own his stories and not worry about what people think. Robin said he second guesses everything he says. Memet said whatever, fine. Howard said he'd be terrible in a deposition.
Ronnie said that Memet thinks that Robin wants to fuck him just because She picks on him. Howard asked Ronnie if he has had a threesome. Ronnie said yes. Howard asked if it was two girls. Ronnie said yes. He said he's had just one threesome. He said that it was the running back and forth to the room thing. Howard said these boys can't make it happen. Ronnie said you have to set ground rules. He said you have to have the rules with the main girl. He said you can't fuck the other girl sometimes. Memet asked what the point is then. Ronnie said you can do everything else.
Howard said he's going to be quiet and let him talk to Memet and Steve. Memet said that Ronnie has only had a half a threesome. He said if you don't fuck two vaginas then it's not a threesome. Brent agreed with Memet on that. Brent said you have to fuck both to have an official threesome. Robin said that's crazy.
Howard asked if the main girl fucked him and the other girl blew him. Ronnie said he got to play with her and She got to play with him but he didn't fuck her. He said that was the ground rule. He said that was fine with him.
Ronnie gave some more advice for how to make it happen. He said you have to let the girl pick the other girl. Ronnie said there's nothing wrong with having another girl in your bed. He said that he didn't stick his dick in her but he did all kinds of shit. He said if that's not enough to turn you on then you're fucked up. Memet said he'd be happy if he could do that. He said he wouldn't tell people he had a threesome if he didn't have sex with them. Memet said he didn't fuck both. He said he came close to the mountaintop but not all the way.
Howard asked the guys if they think Ronnie had a threesome. Gary said he did, Steve said yes, Richard said yes, Jason said yes, JD, Sal and Shuli said yes. Memet said no he didn't. Ronnie said he got a blow job from her and he's not sure if he finished in her mouth. Howard asked if he cares that Benjy says it wasn't a threesome. Ronnie said he doesn't care. He said he had the time of his life and it was the best weekend ever.
Howard asked Benjy why he says this. Benjy had to find a microphone. Benjy said you have to have some standards. Howard asked if Benjy has had a threesome. Benjy said he has and he fucked both. Gary said it's really a man's world. Howard said Ronnie had a threesome as far as he's concerned.
Howard said he's hung up on Benjy having a threesome. Jason read that a threesome on Urban Dictionary is when three people get together for sexual pleasure. He said there wasn't anything in there about fucking. Ronnie said they were playing naked Monopoly. He said they played all night. Howard said they had Ronnie hypnotized and he was fantasizing about that. He said that explains it.
Ronnie said the only rules they had were no fingers and no dick in the other girl. Howard said that seems reasonable. Ronnie said there were fingers between the girls though. Steve asked if he ever saw the girl again and if it was awkward. Ronnie said he did see her a few times. He said it wasn't awkward.
Howard asked if Memet and Steve got something out of this. Steve said he took some notes on it. Howard asked Brent if he has had a threesome. Brent said he has a few times. He said you have to have a main girl and She cuts the deal with the other girl. He said you just stand there and don't say anything. He said you just let the girls cut the deal. Brent said the deal he had was that if he didn't get to fuck both girls then he wasn't doing it. He said they both had ground rules. He said She didn't want to do other guys. Robin said what a nice girl.
Howard said he was going to get into the shitting stories but they went in this direction. Richard asked who has the bigger wiener. Ronnie said he thinks it's Nowicki. Steve said he has 6.5 inches. Memet said he has about average. He said he has a nice shape. Howard asked if it's thick. Memet asked if they really want to get into this. Ronnie said everyone in the back office wants to hear this.
Benjy said he thinks that Memet is more handsome than Steve. He said Steve is cute but Memet is handsome. Howard said they're both handsome. He said that he's a Shuli guy though. Shuli said he was with Steve and he took him on a gig. He said there were two hot chicks there and Steve didn't make any effort but the girls went right to him. He said he walked away from both. Howard said it must be an amazing thing to get that attention from women. Steve said he didn't know he was being hit on. Shuli said they brought him food. Benjy said a deep voice is supposed to be a turn on to women. Howard said that sounds ridiculous. Ronnie said that Steve has that baby face look when he smiles. Howard said he scares him.
Howard said it must be awesome when he gets that attention. He said he lives the opposite life. He said women ignore him. He said when he got famous things changed. He said no ugly chicks even looked at him. He said that there were women who were overweight and hideous but they didn't even talk to him.
Gary asked if he has ever seen an ugly girl scan the room and look at him and then keep going. He said he's had that. Howard said he doesn't remember even being scanned. He said that he went to BBC parties as a young man and he didn't get anything there. He said Steve must be happy it's so easy. Steve said he does appreciate it.
Memet said he sees what's going on here. He said that he's laying a bear trap for him. He said that they want him to be jealous of Steve. He said girls don't walk up to him. He said the quality women like 8, 9 or 10s sitting in a bar won't approach you. He said they wait for you to walk up to them. He said he knows they're going to spin this. He said that it's awesome that Steve gets that though. Howard asked JD if he gets what's going on there. JD said he doesn't get it.
Gary asked if Memet thinks that they think about him all day long. Memet said not all day. Jason said they have an internal system there that they use and someone liked a comment he wrote about Memet and Memet immediately called that guy and asked what was going on. Memet said he told that person that he was kissing Jason's ass. He said he knows they were just doing it to get on his side.
Howard said he has to wrap up this segment. Howard went over what they learned about Memet and Steve. Memet was still going back and forth trying to defend himself. Robin said She was thinking that JD is better looking than Memet. Memet said if Robin was drunk at a bar She would walk over to him over the rest of the guys. Robin said there are days that they see each other and She doesn't even remember his name. Shuli said that anyone who says that wants to fuck you.
Howard took a call from a woman who said this is a little bit of nonsense. She said if her husband or She brings a woman into their bed that is a threesome. She said it doesn't matter if he puts his dick into her or not, it's a threesome. Howard asked Ronnie if he believes that. Fred did his Ronnie impression and said he draws the line at putting Rice Krispies in her ass.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Memet is the most insecure guy he's ever heard. He said he knows they were busting his balls before about not wearing condoms. He said that's because he's insecure about being with her and he's trying to knock her up to stay with her.
Howard asked if the guys are using condoms. Memet said he is. Howard said he went to the doctor and he was asking if he uses condoms. He said he told the guy the truth and he only fucks women and he's been faithful to his wife however long they've been together. Howard said he still uses condoms. Ronnie said he's not sure how he does it. Howard said they slow him down. Memet said he hates them but he uses them. He said he loses feeling. Ronnie said they do lose feeling and he agrees with Memet on that.
Howard said he's trying to sum up here. Benjy was asking if he has ever had sex with Beth without one. Howard said of course he has. He said She prefers it that way.
Howard tried asking Benjy about his threesome's but he started down the vortex so Howard bailed on the discussion. Howard said Steve they learned is the best looking guy who got the title from Memet. Howard said they also learned that JD is better looking.
Howard said the reason the guys are in there is to talk about the bathrooms there. Howard said he has someone on the phone who says they had sex with him without a rubber. He picked up and had one of the guys in the back talking about that. Memet said this guy is the really jealous one. He said he knows he's a jealous mother fucker. He said he knows he wishes he could be him. Memet said he loves him though.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said when they come back they'll talk about the bathrooms. Howard said that they learned that Memet peed on a woman and got puked on. Richard asked if he had a boner when he was peeing. Memet said it was half a boner and it wasn't fun. He said he had to push really hard. He said it's not sexy at all. Sal asked if it was after the vomit. Memet said it was. It was also in the tub. Howard asked if they have learned everything. Robin said they have learned too much.
Howard said Robin has wild stories too. Robin said Howard has some too. Howard said he does not. Robin said oh yes he does.
Richard said Steve has talked about how he gives it to women very hard. Steve said it's a dominance kind of thing. Memet said he can fuck very hard too. Howard asked if they get out of breath. Memet said he does and he sweats a lot. Steve said he's out of breath a lot too. He said he doesn't sweat so much.
Howard said Memet fucks hard but for 2 seconds. He said Steve can fuck hard but for longer. Memet said they also learned that he is moving on and finding something meaningful. He said he's doing it so he can be boring like the rest of the guys there. He said he has put himself into some crazy situations and he's done with that. Howard asked if he wants to do that. Memet said everyone wants him to do that. Gary said they're really not thinking about him that much. Howard asked if he has been in a relationship for more than 5 months. Memet said he has but not for more than a year. Ronnie asked why the girl broke up with him. Memet said he's difficult to be around sometimes. Ronnie asked why She left. Memet said She wasn't living with him. He said he has broken up with girls too. Howard asked if he has been in love. Memet said he has... so? Howard said he was just asking.
Ronnie asked why the girl left. Memet said She wasn't in love with him. He said he was in love with her. Ronnie said he gets it. He asked if that was so hard to say. Howard said he's not even sure what they're talking about now. He said he just wants to talk about the shit thing. Howard said he has learned too much so far. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Jeff the drunk was trying to tell people that a Playboy playmate was following him. Shuli said he gave him her name and said that she's been part of this for a long time. Howard said that he's not dating her or anything. Howard asked if he has tired to get in touch. Shuli said he has reached out and She hasn't gotten back to him at all. He said he's trying to help Jeff out with this.
Howard played a clip of Jeff the Drunk announcing that he has a Playmate centerfold that's in his stable. He said her name is Becky Hudson. Jeff said She joined his 'Scope maybe 6 months into it. He said She looks like a Barbie doll. Jeff said She was in his 'Scope a lot. Howard said guys who have had actual sex don't brag this much. Howard said she's probably not following him. Shuli asked why She would spend 5 days a week staring at Jeff. He said She has to have something else going on.
Howard said Jeff is bragging that this girl watches him on Periscope. Robin said he's not saying he's jerking off to her. Howard said he's just saying that he has a Playmate as a follower. Howard said he's not sure she's even following him.
Shuli was doing his impression of Jeff taking about that until Jeff called in. Jeff was on a phone connection that was all static. Jeff said he was on his home phone. Howard said it sounds like he's stuck in 1920 and he went back in time to talk to him. He said it's like an Al Jolson record. Jeff said he's sorry about the static but he can't do anything about it. Howard asked if he's on a Speakerphone. Jeff's phone was cutting out. Howard asked him to get off the Speakerphone. Jeff said he's off. Howard said he knows better. Jeff said the static is still there.
Howard said hang up and call back. Jeff said no. He said it'll be the same fucking thing. Jeff said he called Verizon and they're sending someone out to fix it. Howard said it's like Stranger Things when they're in the Upside Down.
Howard said he wanted to have a conversation with Jeff but it's going to be difficult with this. Jeff said he has seen this girl's 'Scope and She has been in his 'Scope for like 2 years straight. Howard said he's bragging about a Playmate following him. He said he's not having sex with her. He said she's not his girlfriend. Jeff said he's just saying... that's all.
Jeff said he's sorry for saying he was leaving the show. Fred played a Geiger counter sound over him. Howard said he can't do the show with it sounding like this. Jeff said he's sorry.
Howard took a call from The Lump who also had static on his phone. He said he's sorry about this. Howard kept him on the line for a minute before letting him go.
Memet said the one thing Jeff does is call into the show and he can't even do that right. Howard said every time he calls in he's on speaker. He said that's the one thing they ask him not to do and he does it every time. Howard said he's a fucking maniac.
Howard went into his agent voice and talked about Millie Bobby Brown and why they're doing this to her. He said they have this investment and they're doing what they have to. The Agent said they don't want to do a Tina Yothers. He said they're staging her career to be a big star. Robin said those are awkward years for a kid. The Agent said look at what they did to Judy Garland and Amanda Bynes.
The Agent was talking about how they had Millie talking to Juliana Rancic and here's what She said. Howard played a clip of the two of them talking. She had a nice answer to this question She was asked and it was very mature. Howard said she's pulling out some crazy references. The Agent was talking about how She recovered nicely from a fumfering around answer. The Agent was talking about how they feed her these lines and names because She doesn't really know Angelina Jolie.
Howard said don't go on the internet and start reading comments. Memet said he won't do that ever again.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the panels they're doing harkens back to the old days. Howard asked what old days. He said he likes having the guys in there. The caller said it's like having KC in the studio. He said he likes hearing the guys in there. The caller also said that February is veterinary dental month and they offer discounts all over the country. Howard said he had a cat that had bad breath and was peeing all over the house. He said he had bad teeth and that's why he was in pain and peeing all over. The caller said he's a vet tech. He said he does the dental end of it. Howard said alright.
Howard took a call from a woman who said She can't believe She gets to tell Howard how sexy he is. Howard said alright. the caller said She has grown up on their voices and she's sexier because of ''y'all's show.'' Howard asked how that is. The caller said he makes it okay for her to be hot and Robin makes it okay for her to tell guys they can't tell her she's not hot and tell them to fuck off. Howard said Robin is doing a lot of good work like that vet tech.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he might want to turn down the compression on his voice because it makes it bounce up and down when other people talk. He said when you listen to some of the older programs things were level. Howard said everyone has compression on their voice. He said the only thing he has on is in his headphones. Howard said this is his voice and he's not compressing it. The caller said his bass level is off. Howard said that's because he has a deeper voice than everyone else. Jason said Howard is doing radio wrong.
Howard said when he talks about compression it's just in his headphones. He said you don't hear it. The caller asked why he's hearing this thing on his voice. The caller said it's just a comment. Howard asked him to never call again. The caller said he won't. Howard said he doesn't want to be criticized at this point in his career.
Jason wondered what that guy is picturing with what they do there. He said it's not like there are a bunch of engineers in the back going ''Oh!'' and fixing something.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe what a douche Memet is. Memet said he won't see anything he sends to him. Memet said he has some words blocked on his account so he won't see ''douche'' and things like that. Howard didn't know you could block words like that. Howard asked how many he has blocked. Memet said it's a long list. He said it's maybe 30 words. Howard said he blocks them when he sees them. Memet said that they write bald and balding so he won't look at those.
Steve said now they'll send him douche with a zero in it. Memet said he's not reading that stuff. Shuli asked if he combined a word into baldingdouche if he'd see that. Memet said he's not sure.
Howard said Memet has to stop reading comments. Memet said he follows some people and he wants to see them. He said he likes to read that stuff. Howard asked why he's blocking words. Memet said he just happens across it once in a while. Memet said that he used to read every word that people would write. He said he went the extra mile to block those 30 words.
Howard said he has to see the list. Howard said bring it in tomorrow. The caller said that Memet is such an asshole and they put him straight through when he called in 30 seconds ago. Sal told Memet to block the word ''coworker.'' Howard said he's got to hear these shit stories tomorrow. He said they're going to take a break and get to some news. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he gets weirded out when a young woman dies. He said that woman from the Cranberries was young. He said he thought She was really good. He said her name was Dolores O'Riordan. He said they still don't know what killed her. Howard said She was going to do a cover version of a cover version of her own song. He said She was going to record the part herself but She never got to it. He said they released their version of the song today. He said it's the band Bad Wolves. Howard played the cover of ''Zombie.'' Howard said they say Dolores really liked their cover. Howard said he likes this. Robin said She does too. Howard let out a belch during the song. He said it's good though. Robin said it's really good. Howard said that's the Bad Wolves. He said it's such a good song. Howard said Dolores was going to record with them but She didn't get to it. Howard said they say that the money made from the song will go to Dolores' kids. Howard said She must have had some money though. Howard wondered how much money they could make from this. He said the kids won't be going to college off this track.
Howard said it fucked him up that Tom Petty died of a drug overdose. He said it was a medication overdose. Robin said these drugs are dangerous and they have to believe that stuff. Howard said he took some Vikodin and drank. He said they tell you not to. Robin said She had a root canal and She had Oxycodone prescribed to her and She took it with wine. She said She was in a lot of pain at the time. Howard said she's lecturing but She was doing the same thing. Howard said Tom just mixed up a bunch of pain meds. Robin said maybe he forgot how many he had taken.
Howard said he hopes there's no consciousness after you die. Howard said he hopes he's not up there going ''What the hell? My hip hurt...'' Robin said some people are more sensitive to pain.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's paying for the Howard Stern show and not the Ronnie show. She said She thinks Ronnie has to be out in the hall and he has to back off of having Ronnie in there. Howard asked if this is Ronnie's fiancee. The caller said She is and She just wanted the ring.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he disagrees with that woman about Ronnie. He said he likes it when Howard tells a caller like that to go fuck themselves. Howard said he didn't do that but the show has always been what he wants. He said he has to go with what he thinks is funny. He said the show isn't scripted and it can't be great all the time. He said people write in about Ronnie and they say that he's hit or miss. He said that's the way it goes. He said he can't go by what people think. He said it's about what he thinks is funny.
Howard said he could listen to Ronnie talk about threesomes all day long. He said he's not acing Ronnie out. He said once in a while he's great and sometimes he's not. Robin said that time he talked about jerking off after finding his parents in a threesome was great. Howard said sometimes he gets confused and thinks he's him.
Howard said he'll interview someone and people will say that it's not his best interview. Howard said not everything is going to be mind blowing. He said even Derek Jeter strikes out. He said when you say don't have Ronnie on he's not going to listen to you. He said it's like Tom Brady polling people about when he should throw the ball or not. Howard said this is all about him and it's always been that way. Howard said he knows to sprinkle Fred in just a little bit. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about the Oscar nominations and She said that James Franco was not nominated. Robin said that the allegations against him may have done it. Robin read about the movies that were nominated. Howard said he hasn't seen Dunkirk or The Post but the other movies were great.
JD came in and said that he would like to suggest that Howard watch Dunkirk on a big screen. He said watch it on the biggest screen he can. Howard said he can do that. He usually watches it on his iPad though. Robin said Tom Hanks says you should go to a theater. Robin said it's about the community and not just the size of a screen. Howard said he should listen to JD since he said he ''oughten to'' watch it on a big screen. Robin said She likes what Tom Hanks said. Howard said that's bullshit. He said the way he looks at it is that he hates going to the theater. He doesn't like the ''community'' and there are kids there eating and all of that. He said that he doesn't want to hear someone opening a box of something. He said people talk and eat while watching the movie. He said if he's lucky there will be bedbugs in the seats. He said someone told him that they have big comfy seats in the theater now. Robin said they're too comfortable. She said they bring your order to your seat too. She said they have assigned seating there. Howard said he loves to sit at home and watch a movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're giving James Franco a hard time about this 17 year old but that movie ''Call Me By Your Name'' is about a 17 year old boy. Howard said that's a made up story though. The caller said it's Hollywood forcing something on us that they're supposedly against. Howard said this was a shocking movie to him but it's a character in a movie and they're portraying a story. Robin said porn isn't what a woman wants and this movie isn't how you want to live your life. Gary said the movie also takes place in Italy in the 1980s. He said it's a different time and place. That doesn't make it right though. Howard said that movie wasn't easy to watch but he liked the story. He said the whole thing worked for him.
Howard said one of the best movies was The Shape of Water. He said it's by Guillermo del Toro. He said in Spanish class anyone named William was named Guillermo. He said in that class Howard was still Howard. Howard said he was called Tsve in his religion class. Howard said how about calling him Steve or Paul. He said his cousin was named Paul and he stayed Paul. Howard said he was Howard and then Tsve. He said the teacher smelled like a shit sandwich. He said he's not sure why his parents wasted his time. He said he can say all of the prayers and all of that. Robin asked where he uses that. Howard said nowhere. He said he learned a lot of useless stuff.
Robin read more about the Academy award nominations. She went through the best actor nominations and more. Howard said he sees Gary Oldman wins awards for playing Winston Churchill and they play him off after 3 seconds. Robin said it's like Guillermo too. Howard said they have so much bullshit on those shows but then someone gets up and they don't let them say a word. Howard said the whole cast of that show ''Three Billboards'' gets up to get an award and he wanted to see what they had to say and what they looked like. He said they ushered them right off. He said they have to give them some time. He said Jimmy Kimmel is going to host the Academy Awards. He said he hopes he can talk some sense into them. He said they have to let Gary Oldman talk. He said if he was the host he'd say they just played off the guy who devoted his whole life to the craft. Howard said he'd call him back up to say his piece. Howard said then he'd smack the conductor with his baton.
Robin said She was watching a rerun of the Ed Sullivan show and he would run out and introduce a band without wasting time. Robin said he had nothing to say. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to the Academy Award nominations and asked Howard what movie he'd pick to win Best Picture. Howard said he'd have a hard time with that. He said he's giving it to ''three Billboards.'' He said they're all great movies though.
Robin asked Howard about best actress. Howard went through that with her. Howard said that Margot Robbie is great. He said he's giving it to Frances McDormand. Gary told Howard that Margot is married to an assistant director. Howard said what a waste.
Robin asked Howard about the best supporting actor category. Howard said he's picking Woody Harrelson to win. Robin asked Howard about the best supporting actress. They went through the names and Howard said he's going with Alison Janney.
Robin asked Howard about best director. Howard said he might go with Jordan Peele. He said that ''Get Out'' was not an easy movie to make. Robin said they're all difficult to make. Howard asked JD what he thinks. JD said he hasn't seen all of the movies. Howard said it's impossible to choose.
Robin asked if Howard knows who Andy Serkis is. Howard said he doesn't know who that is. Robin said he played Gollum and the ape in Planet of the Apes. Howard said he was good as an ape. He said he didn't like Gollum. He said Planet of the Apes is fabulous. Robin said he plays all of those amazing characters but you never see him.
Robin said Bill Cosby is back on stage. Howard asked how many words he's blocked on Twitter. He said this proves he's nuts. He asked what is wrong with him. He asked how he even leaves the house. Robin said he went on stage and appeared in a jazz club on Saturday. He was there to honor a jazz musician. Robin said it looked like a polite audience according to the report. Robin said Bill joked that he used to be a comedian. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the husband and wife who chained their 13 kids to the bed. Robin said they had the sister of the wife on for an interview on some show. Robin said that something happened and then they were into weird religions and stuff. Howard said they freaked out. Robin said they say that the wife had a tryst with another man with her husband's blessing. Howard said they're so gross looking he wonders who would do that with her. Howard said she's a big slob.
Howard took a call from Gollum who was saying he doesn't like Howard either. Howard said he can't make him a fan. It was Sour Shoes doing the impression of Gollum.
Howard said he also has the 13 chained up California kids on the phone. They all talk in unison and in a monotone. Howard spent a minute with the guys doing their bit. Howard let them go a short time later.
Robin read a story about Laverne Cox being the first cover girl of Cosmopolitan in South Africa. Howard said he has no problem with these transgender people. He said his parents were always open to that kind of thing. He said it made sense to him. Robin said thank god for his parents. Robin said if they were bigoted then maybe he'd be bigoted too. Howard said probably. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown ending. Robin said it was shut down for 3 days. Robin said they say that they have 3 weeks to come up with a new spending plan and resolve some issues. Robin said they will continue to talk. Robin said She feels bad for the government workers because they could be out of work in 3 weeks again.
Robin read a story about the Hawaii governor who was blamed for how long the false alarm about the nuclear missile coming claims he forgot his Twitter password so he wasn't able to tweet to tell people it was a false alarm. Howard said he should know how to set up his account if he's a governor.
Robin asked Howard if he's still watching FOX News. Howard said not so much. He said he likes watching the opposition. He said it's wild stuff they're doing at MSNBC. He said it's not news, it's entertainment. Howard said he watches Katie Tur and he read her book. Howard said there was that one woman who was saying ''sort of'' too much and he corrected her on that. Howard said She has cut back on it. He said she's a smart woman.
Robin said on FOX News there's a vest they sell and they call it the Scott-E-vest for carrying around electronic devices. Howard said chicks dig that look. Howard said he carries a man bag instead. He said you don't want a vest. He asked if you're a douche. He said no offense to the Scott-E-vest people. Robin said the former CEO of the company is getting a lot of backlash because he posted something about how the people who see them on FOX are gullible idiots so it's easy to sell to them. Robin said that the company backed away from him and said his comments were inappropriate and wrong.
Robin asked Howard what the most popular beer is. Howard said he'd say Budweiser. Robin said it used to be but now it's Bud Light. Howard said that's the same thing. Robin said it's the same company but not the same thing. Robin said Coors light is number 2. Howard said he doesn't like beer. He said he doesn't enjoy it. Howard asked why he's not into that. Howard said he likes wine better. Robin said She does too.
Robin read a story about how the first lady won't be in Switzerland with President Trump this weekend. Howard said She must not be too happy about the porn star running around. Robin asked what She should do about that. Howard said if he was Trump he never would have run. He said he has all of this stuff going on now. He said he didn't need all of that. He said they have the FBI going after him and investigating his finances. Howard said he didn't need that. He had a good life. Howard said now if he wants to fuck someone he has to titty fuck Steve Bannon and he's not even around.
Robin said Netflix is increasing their price. Robin said they are going up to 12.99 a month from 10.99. Robin said they are getting more subscribers though. Howard said he blames David Letterman. Robin said it says it went up to 10.99 but She thought it was going up again.
Robin read about how Bob Costas won't be working the Super Bowl because he said that it ruins people's brains. Howard said these guys are getting brain injuries from playing. Robin said now they say that in all sports there are little concussions happening that have a cumulative effect over time. Howard did an impression of his mother talking about why he never played sports. She said that he never scrambled his brains. She said here were no sports or shenanigans going on. Howard did his dad too while he was talking about that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how he doesn't understand why these radio stations are going bankrupt. He said he's a radio man so he's wondering. He said Cumulus radio owns a lot of stations that are all bankrupt. He said you read about the debt that I Heart Radio has. He said he doesn't understand it. He said people are still listening to it. He said they have 300 million potential listeners. He's not sure how they can't keep their lights on. He asked what the hell happened. He said he's seeing a lot of blank faces this morning.
Howard said who probably knows this is Brent. He said he understands it all because he's a big radio fan. He said he hasn't asked this kind of blunt question yet.
Howard said he loves Brent. He asked him why he thinks this is going on. Brent said there are a few things. They say there are 93 million people listening to terrestrial radio. He said they have program directors and marketing guys who are putting on shitty content. Howard said they should be able to make money off of that though. Brent said they should. Howard asked if they paid too much for the stations in the 90s. Brent said that's correct too. He said there are some stations that paid too much for rights to sports broadcasts. He said they don't make money on that. Howard said management is to blame for this debt and it seems remarkable to him. He said that they still have advertisers. He said a lot of them are turning to social media though.
Robin said She imagines there's not a lot of listener loyalty. Brent said that's correct too. Brent said that you wont listen to a station's commercials if you can tune in and hear music on Sirius or something like that.
Howard said he remembers the days when radio was flush with cash. He said they didn't pay them any of that but they made a lot of money. Brent said he checked what the rates were with Howard and it was nuts. Howard said he remembers when they had a party at K-Rock because they got some ridiculous amount of money for one commercial. He said Tom Chiusano told him about it but he wasn't even invited to the party.
Brent said that the ad people would ask for the top 5 morning shows and they didn't check the rate. He said if you're an advertiser you'd want to be able to measure it so they go to Facebook now. Howard said you also know who you're paying for. He said with radio you didn't know.
Brent said with talk radio they wanted the Howard Stern endorsement. He said that meant they would make money on their ad.
Howard said he's reading about Cumulus and how they're not going to pay Imus for his contract. He said that's crazy. Robin said you have to cut costs somewhere. Howard said he doesn't understand it.
Brent said Cumulus says they're getting out of their expensive contracts. Howard said that's some rule about bankruptcy. He said they just get out of it and get out of the contract. Howard said he's had that done to him before. He said he made some syndication deals where they stopped paying him over some morality clause. Brent said they once had someone on the show who used the N-word on the air and that's what they used to say he violated that clause.
Brent said the Janet Jackson thing happened and they went right after Howard after that. He said the government came down on the radio station companies. He said they were threatening to pull licenses from stations in Florida. He said that's why they pulled Howard off. He said the reason wasn't a good one but that's what they used.
Howard said with all of these radio stations can't make a contract. He said they will just pull out of them. Brent said you don't want to pay for a lawyer either because it's so much. Howard said he pays his bills and they're not. Brent said even a guy like Howard doesn't want to shell out money to the lawyers. Howard said they know they can wear you down. He said he admires Bubba for that. He said he defends himself but he's spending all of his money on lawyers. Brent said he's right. He said they've completely ruined him.
Howard said Bubba wants to come back to Sirius and he reminds him of all of the nice things he did for him. He said he offered to let him fuck his wife. He said imagine if he had done that. He said his wife was hot. Howard said Bubba is a generous guy that way. He said his wife must have been up for that. Brent said it was all consensual. Howard said Bubba was very solid that way. Robin said he was taping people though. Howard said he didn't know that at the time.
Howard said Bubba is still in court over that. Brent said in the last 10 years he hasn't been without a legal case in his life.
Howard said he thought it was true that when Bubba had a court case Brent would represent him in court. Brent said he was the corporate representative. He said he sat in every deposition. He said he would write questions on a legal pad and hand them to the lawyers. He said the people would get so mad over that. Howard said it's so funny that Bubba had him doing that. He said Brent doesn't even have a law degree.
Robin said OJ used to scribble on the pad like that. Brent said one radio guy they deposed for 32 hours. He said he sued them so they deposed him until he was so tired that he didn't know what to do. He said the judge told them that they had to do it. He said it was nuts.
Howard said he thought they had parameters on that. Brent said you have to get into every count when they sue for 42 counts of something. Howard asked Brent if he asked about everything. Brent said he had to get into every little detail. He said if you sue someone they will depose you so you have to remember that. Brent said in court they narrow things but in depositions it's wide.
Howard said he thought he would be good at asking questions as a lawyer but reading the law and all of that he can't do. Robin said She thinks she'd like to have been a lawyer but it's not like a TV show. Howard said Brent was probably in court more than on the show. Brent said this defamation show went on for 5 years. He said he did the depositions in the afternoon. He said he was really worn out after the day. He said he'd fill Bubba in on it and he had to tell him not to talk about it on the air.
Howard said Bubba sends Brent and him tapes of him talking about them on the air. Brent said they're doing a good show. Howard said it's terrific. Howard said Bubba thinks he can get him a job there. Robin asked how long he's going to think that. Howard said he can't convince him that he can't get a job there.
Howard said he thinks he went to war with Scott Greenstein when he left. Brent said there was some acrimony there. Howard said he doesn't have any power there. He said he has met with Jim Meyer but not with John Malone who owns the company. He said he asks if he wants to meet him and the guy doesn't want to. He said he really doesn't have any power there.
Howard said Benjy and Ronnie won't listen to him. He said he has no power. He said with the Steve Bannon thing they were saying he could get him out of there. Howard said he has no power. He asked about Bannon and they told him to mind his own business. He doesn't tell anyone what to do there.
Howard said when Bannon was there Seth Rogen said he won't come to Sirius if he's there. He said now he's with James Franco. He said he won't stop being around him. Howard said you can't boycott the place over one guy.
Howard said they don't let him be the most powerful guy in the industry. He said they put him at like number 60 on the list. He said they'll still throw him out of there though. He said Sirius isn't worrying about him retiring but bringing his listeners to another company. He said he's too fucking tired and lazy to go to a new company. He said he had some companies who contacted him last time his contract was up. He said they have their own studio there. He said he doesn't want to start over. He said it's not even about the money. He said he's signed with more companies that have gone bankrupt. He said when they started there it was iffy. He said they could have gone bankrupt.
Howard said he loves that they fucked everything up by coming there. He said it's been a pretty cool career. He said he's kind of envious of Imus retiring. He said he has spent a lot of time thinking about it. He said he's kind of sad about Imus retiring. Robin said she's not. She said She doesn't think about him at all.
Howard said he thinks about this a lot. He said when he was a kid it was comforting thinking about politicians and how they were the old guard that you could depend on. He said Imus is almost like one of those guys. He said that there were guys in the industry who were in it for a long time and it represented something to fight against. He said you somehow felt it was safer. He said it was like these guys all knew something. He said they represented a time. He said now the guys are dying off and they're the fucking guard. He said he doesn't want to be that. Howard said maybe when he dies off someone will feel the same way. He said these guys are all old and dying off. He said Imus is sounding really old now. He said he used to have a booming voice. He said now he sounds like an old man. Brent said he's lost his timbre. Howard said his dad lost it and the day he told him that he sounded all old. He said he used to have a booming voice. He said it feels weird to see these guys dropping off.
Howard said he used to be into old radio but he doesn't remember it now. He said he just does his own thing. He said he doesn't care that Cumulus is going away. He said he doesn't care about the people who fired them or anything. Brent said he still reads the trade. Howard said he reads All Access but that's it. He said they had a report on ratings and he just deleted it. He said he doesn't care who is number 1 anymore. Howard said they used to be number 1 every ratings period. Brent said that's incredible. Howard said they used to have 10 or 11 ratings. Brent said they had 13 minute commercial breaks too. Howard said he used to study the ratings. He said in the beginning he'd study the diaries.
Robin asked if Howard ever went on the trip to see the diaries. Howard said he never did. He said he wanted to but they didn't let him. He said the Program Director would go see them. He said they'd go and read them with gloves on. He said then the Program Director would get a hold of him and have a meeting about it. He said he'd be like ''Uh oh.'' He said you know these people are writing shit about him. He said people were upset he didn't know the names of the local schools. He said it was something like that.
Howard said he was into that stuff back then. He said now he doesn't care. Brent said he doesn't have to care. He said they have a PPM thing people carry around. He said it records anything you hear now. Howard said they accused Bubba of filling out the diaries himself. He said he's in court over that now. Brent said he allegedly got a hold of some PPMs they say. Howard asked if he knows not to do that. Brent said of course he does. Brent said Bubba will do anything to win. Howard said you can't do that.
Howard said Bubba says that he didn't sign a contract with the company so he can't be guilty of anything. He said that he sees his side on that.
Howard said he would love to see Bubba back on Sirius. He said he thinks he has power but he really doesn't. Howard said Bubba constantly writes to him. He said he tells him to tell him if he's annoying him. He said then he asks to come back. Howard said he wants him back but he doesn't run Sirius. Howard said he doesn't want to run it.
Howard said imagine he goes into Sirius and threatens to quit. They'd just say ''Okay. Goodbye.'' He said he'd have to go start his own company like Bubba did. Howard said he could say that things would be so great if they had Bubba on. He said stock prices would go up and they'd get millions of people. Then he comes there and gets sued and they'd be pissed at him. Brent said he'd be on his tab. Howard said he didn't get into radio to deal with Human Resources every day.
Howard said he has John Malone on the phone now. He took the call from fake Malone who said he has to get out of the studio because he's going to fuck Bubba's wife in there. He said Brent is representing him in court. Howard said he hasn't done anything yet. Malone told him to get ready for Bubba 360 in 2025. He asked if he can fuck Brent's wife. Brent said he sees that he hasn't heard about the #MeToo movement yet.
Brent said Howard is close to Chris Booker. Howard said they don't talk that much. He said he texts with him. Howard said Booker has a great story to tell on the air. He said it's a great relationship story. He said he almost got married and he called it off. He said he has to come on and tell it. He said he might not be legally allowed to tell it because it's so fucked up.
Howard said he and Booker used to hang when he was single. He said they were on a mad ass pussy search together. Robin said they were trolling. Howard said he was trolling at 8 at night. He said Booker has this gorgeous girlfriend he's been with for like 10 years. He said it has to be close to that. He said he somehow never gets married. He said he's like a radio John Stamos.
Robin said She would hang out with Booker and She became friends with the women he would hang out with and She sees how their lives have turned out on Facebook.
Howard said Booker does a podcast with Perez Hilton now. He said Perez is out of his mind. He said he was on there crying hysterically. He said he's not sure how Booker puts up with it. He said Perez realizes he's an addict. He said he's addicted to social media. Howard said he was in tears over it. He said he has the clip to play. He said it's great.
Howard said this clip is lengthy so just tell him when it's too much. Howard said they have 5 clips actually. He said this is Perez talking about his addiction. He played a clip where Perez talked about how thinks he's an addict. He was very upset about it. Then the next day he revealed that he's addicted to social media. Howard was laughing through the clips.
Howard said he's imagining him going to a meeting and people throwing shit at him for saying that he's addicted to social media. Brent said he thinks some people get a dopamine shot from being on social media.
Howard played a clip of Perez talking about how he won't respond to people now. He said he used to read every single tweet that was sent to him. Howard said Ronnie has tweeted 10 times already this morning. He said Ronnie has those big thumbs of his and he'd tweeting out his messages. Howard told Brent to check out Ronnie tweeting and see his big thumbs trying to type a word. Howard said once they get the Howard 360 thing going they have to get stuff like that on there. He said Ronnie just retweeted someone who said the show sucks without him. Howard said he should just fire him. He said thanks Ron. Howard said if Ronnie's not on he blows and he retweets that. He said what a dick. Howard said don't encourage Ronnie with that bullshit.
Howard said he gave Ronnie his own show but they got rid of that. He said JD took care of that for him. He said he thinks the show is pretty good without Ronnie.
Ronnie came in and said that the guy said the show is good when he's on. Howard asked him to read the tweet. Ronnie said he didn't read it. Jason read the tweet that he retweeted and the guy said the show sucks when Ronnie isn't on. Howard said he doesn't see that's a negative about him. Howard said he has email about him being on too much. Ronnie said that's fine. Howard said he's so bad to Ronnie. He said he agrees the show sucks without him. Ronnie agreed with the guy. Howard asked what he's agreeing to. Ronnie said he's not agreeing to anything. Robin tried talking to him but he said he's not talking to her.
Brent said that he's agreeing that he thinks the show sucks without him in the studio. Howard said what a terrible thing to tweet about him. Ronnie said he knows. Howard said he thought he was on the team. Ronnie said he did too. Howard said it probably took him an hour to type out ''agreed.''
Ronnie said he did tweet 10 times this morning. He said he did that at like 5 in the morning when he had nothing to do. Howard said the first thing he sends out is that the show sucks. Ronnie said that's not what he did first.
Jason read the tweets that Ronnie sent out this morning. Ronnie told Jason to read the whole thing. He was tagging them in the tweet. Ronnie said Jason doesn't read the whole thing. Howard said nothing changed when he read @SternShow in the tweet. Howard said maybe he doesn't want that out there. Maybe he wants people to guess if the show is on. Ronnie said he can't do anything right.
Jason said he retweeted out a picture of a woman in a thong. Ronnie said it's not a retweet. He said he just favors it. Ronnie said he doesn't follow all of those porn sites. Gary came in and said it's a retweet. Jason said it's 100 percent a retweet.
Brent said that they can see who he's following. Ronnie said he's not following them. He said Brent doesn't know about Twitter either. Ronnie said he's not following them. He said if they let him talk he'll explain. Howard said he's not interrupting. Robin said the show is picking up since he came in there.
Ronnie said if he's following a site like CumSwallow and they retweet someone's shit it'll come up on his feed. He said he's not following all of those sites. Jason said every name they read the other week was on his follow list. Ronnie said they are not. The guys insisted he is following them. Ronnie asked why Brent is so involved in his life.
Howard said Ronnie doesn't know that he's following these people. Jason came in with the list of people he's following and showed it to Ronnie. Ronnie read some of the names and said he knows he's following them. He was arguing with the guys about their content coming up in his feed.
Robin tried to say something but Ronnie said he's not talking to her. Howard said this guy tweets out that the show sucks without Ronnie and Ronnie retweeted it. Howard asked why he would do that. He said it's like if someone said he's the worst driver in the world and he retweeted that. Ronnie said he does talk about how he sucks as a driver. Howard said he does not. Then he thought about it and said he actually does.
Howard asked why he would retweet lies. Ronnie said he didn't interpret it that way. Robin asked what it means if it says the show sucks without him in the studio. Ronnie said leave him alone. Howard said he got him out of that job driving the Today show cast and now he's making a good living and having fun. Howard said Brent wishes someone would take him under their wing.
Howard said Ronnie tweets that the show sucks. He asked Brent what he should do. Brent said he'd never do that. He said he would never put out any message that says the show sucks. He said no show sucks at Sirius. He said he's never tweet out anything about any show sucking there. Howard said Ronnie is a fucking mad man.
Howard said they saw the gif of the woman shaking her ass. Jason said next there's a picture of some Playboy cards. Ronnie said open his eyes. He said he was making fun of him with the Playboy mud flaps.
Jason said that Ronnie responded to a tweet from Shuli about his library. No one knew what that was about. Howard asked if Ronnie has ever read a book. Ronnie said he read Donnie Brasco. He read one about ''Edgar J. Hoover.'' Howard corrected him on that.
Jason read more of Ronnie's tweets. He had a couple more where he was responding to people. Howard told him to read a book instead of doing this stuff. He said Ronnie is like 70 years old.
Jason read a few more tweets that Ronnie sent out. Jason said someone asked about his favorite Star Wars movie and he doesn't have one. He also retweeted someone who wrote ''Hahahahaha'' to something he said. Ronnie said he answers people is there something wrong with that? He said he answers all of his DMs too. He said it's 5 in the morning and he has nothing else to do. He said he's here an hour and 15 minutes early so he has nothing to do.
Howard said thank god they invented Twitter. He said he must have done nothing before. Ronnie said he would read the paper or stare out a window.
Howard took a call from a woman who said She feels bad for Ronnie. She said he doesn't know how to use technology and he doesn't know what he's doing with Twitter. Howard said he tried to tell him that. He said it's like trying to tell his parents how to use a VCR. He said Ronnie is so into Emojis and stuff he's like a young girl.
Gary said that Will is back there upset about Ronnie singling himself out as a special person on the show when they're a team of people. Ronnie didn't seem to care.
Howard said Brent latched into something. He said he has to get to the panel later about the shit stories. He said he heard that Brent and Memet get into it back in the halls about stuff. He said he didn't know that. Ronnie said he knew. He said there are a lot of people who don't like Brent there. Brent said it's Memet who starts in with him all the time. He said sometimes it's politics and sometimes it's personal insults.
Brent said he was working on a phony phone call with Sal and Richard and Memet insulted him. He said they were looking for rednecks to call and Richard suggested they call his relatives. He said he didn't think that they'd be into it. He said Memet said something rude to him and it was insulting. Gary said he heard he said he hopes Memet dies in a fire. Brent said he did say that and he probably shouldn't have. Howard said maybe they can get into it on the shitting panel. He said they think Brent is overly sensitive. Ronnie said he may be a little bit. He said it's not crazy. He said he has major OCD though. Brent said ''Guilty.'' Howard said he has it bad too. Ronnie said it's not as bad as Brent. He said he walks out and he has to walk out 2 or 3 times before he's out. He said he walks with his head to the floor an he looks behind him. Brent said he is right about that. He said he will pace before he walks out and things like that. He said he has a real paranoia about people being behind him. Brent said sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's not.
Ronnie said Brent also talks to himself in the hall. He said that's the kind of thing people do who come in with an AK-47 and blow people away. Brent said he gets lost in his work and what he needs to do next. Howard asked what it would sound like if Ronnie was talking to himself. Fred did his impression and came up with some stuff.
Howard said he has to take a break but he didn't finish the Perez Hilton stuff. He played more of Pere crying over this addiction of his. Howard said it's his job to be on social media. Robin said he wants to do his job but not do things he hates. Howard said it's like Ronnie giving up yelling out ''Cunt!'' He said it sounds like Perez hates his job. Brent said he's like every person in America.
Howard played more of Perez crying and talking about cutting back on social media. He said they have to get him in there again. Howard said he hates his job. He said to save his life he has to stop doing his job. He did his impression of Perez and goofed on what he was saying. Howard said he can't do that. He said he's getting paid to do that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if Ronnie is going to be on the rest of the show. He said it kind of sucks without him. Ralph said he likes Brent but he thinks that he's going to snap one day. He said at the Christmas party he got in his face about something and seemed really angry. Brent said Ralph is a friend. He said it was about prostate karaoke. He said it was so stupid. He said Ralph thought Perez won. He said he was just being a contrarian. Howard said what a dumb thing to be upset about. Ralph said he was going on and on about it and he wouldn't stop. Ronnie said he was wasted so give him a break. Howard thanked Ralph for the call. Ralph said he loves Brent. Brent said he loves Ralph too.
Howard played more of the Perez clip where he talked about how it's not good for him to be doing what he's doing. Howard said it's his job. He said he has made a living off of commenting on this stuff. He said he's just sick of his job. He said he has to get him in there. Ralph asked if he's still rattling on about that. Howard said he's not sure.
Howard told Ralph about what he was saying about Chris Booker earlier. Ralph said he has a certain type of relationship he gets into and he keeps repeating it. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go. Howard said that was a long segment. He said he has to do commercials but he may not get to them. He said he doesn't want to get to them.
Howard said he should take a break. Robin said ''Agreed'' like the Twitter thing. Howard said he'll get the guys in there to talk about the bathroom there. He said he has a lot more to get to. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard played the call and in the clip the host takes the call and he thinks that the ghost of Liberace is really calling his show from the pits of hell. Liberace was telling the host what it's like down there in Hell. He told the guy about Satan's huge red cock and things like that. The host said he'd like to help him put this in the form of a book. The host started praying for him.
Howard said he should bring in Liberace himself. He said he did such a good job there. He said the only thing they planned was for it to be 2 seconds long. He said most people hang up when they hear you're getting face fucked. Howard said the guy kept him on for a long time. Howard had fake Liberace in the studio and had him talk about how shocked they were about how long he kept him on. Liberace said this was the first guy they called and he kept him on that long. Howard said they had to make up all of that stuff because they didn't think it would last that long. He said he thinks he had to hang up because he had nothing left to say.
Howard asked Liberace if he has found a woman to marry in hell yet. Liberace said he has not. He said he was always busy on the road when he was alive an it was just so difficult. Howard thanked him for explaining the call for them. Howard said he thinks that call will go down as a classic.
Howard said he got some email about Mariann's dirty stories they played yesterday. Howard said this was a social experiment. He read some email they got about her sexy story readings. People were into them. Howard played another one where Mariann told a sex story. She was talking about the erotic encounter She had in the bathroom with a man She calls H.S. She said he sucked on her clit and he kneaded her ass and penetrated her in 2 places. She said She almost came from the mental picture alone.
Howard said there's no jerking off at work Fred. They went to break after that.
Howard said Memet's appearance generated a song parody. He played the song parody which was about how they're all just thinking about Memet.
Howard said Memet thinks a lot of guys around there are thinking a lot about him. Memet said a truer song has never been written about the show. Howard said they came down to Steve and Memet and who is better looking. Howard said he had some email about it and he thinks Memet eked out a win there. He read that some people said neither of them is good looking. Howard said some people said they look like little boys. Some said they have faces for radios. Someone said Jason is the best looking. Howard said someone asked when Will gave up the title. He said someone said that Steve Nowicki is the best looking. Some said it was a tie. Howard said one person asked if this is the best they have to offer and Ronnie is the best looking. Howard said Tabitha Stevens says that Memet is better looking than Steve. Howard said someone said Steve has a gummy smile. Howard took a look and said he really doesn't.
Howard said Memet never had the title to give away but he gave it away. Memet said it just seemed like what people were saying on the internet was that he was the one. He said he just happened to notice this. Memet said he had a weight lifted off his shoulders yesterday when he went home.
Howard asked Steve if he feels any weight on his shoulders. Steve said he went home trying to make sense of it all. He said he doesn't know what he was talking about. Memet said that people there do things and say things about him when you're the good looking guy. Howard said he loves Memet but he didn't know he had that title. Memet said they can choose not to believe him. He said he didn't read what people said yesterday online. He said women and gay people were contacting him and saying they were upset he was giving up the title. Memet said he got messages from women and gay men about it but not on social media. He said they are friends on Facebook. Robin said that's social media.
Shuli asked if he checked to see if anyone contacted him on Instagram or Twitter. Memet said he only listens to what friends say now. Jason asked if you can just hand this off to someone else. Howard said Memet thinks he's still the best looking guy but he passed it off to Steve. Memet said he appreciates where people are coming from but he's not going to embrace that title himself from now on.
Robin said She knows what title he should get. Howard said he thinks he knows what that is. Gary asked if he came across good to his friends. Memet said he did. He said he brought his list of negative words he blocks too. Howard said he will get to that later.
Howard read more email and had a message from someone saying that he has a receding hair line. Memet said no one believes that. Jason said he walks around asking if he's going bald all the time in the office. He said he's obsessed. Memet said that's the old Memet. Jason said that was last week. Sal said he asked him for his hair doctor.
JD said at meetings he would brush through his hair and he would count how many came out. Memet said he visited Sal's hair doctor and he told him he's not losing his hair.
Howard read another email about Steve who looks like a 15 year old lesbian. Howard said another one said Memet is good looking but it must be Steve's confidence. Howard read some email about how great Memet is on the show because he's so delusional. Howard said someone wrote that Benjy is the best looking one on the show.
Howard read through some more email and talked about having a beauty pageant for the guys. Howard said that Andy Cohen has his view on this and he might drop in this morning.
Howard asked Memet about what's going on with him and Brent. Memet said he considers him a friend. He said he has the ability to needle Brent and he enjoys it.
Howard said Andy Cohen is actually on the phone. He has to interrupt. Howard took Andy's call and Andy said he might have missed it but he was wondering about Memet's penis. He said it's always been a little disappointing. Howard asked Andy to forget about the penis for now. Andy said okay. Memet said that he might be half an inch behind Steve. He asked if that's a big deal. Andy said maybe not. Howard said it's unbelievable that he's lobbying for his penis. Howard said yesterday he said he was more than half an inch behind. Memet said he is just shy of 6. He said it's like 5.98. Sal said it's 4. Jason said 5 1/2. Robin said Steve is much better looking than Memet. She said it's amazing.
Howard said that Robin just took Andy's time. Howard asked Andy to continue. Andy said Memet looks more manly and he likes his Adam's apple and hair. He said Steve is a little Twinkish but he's going with Robin. He said that Steve is more handsome. Memet said bullshit. He said he's seen Andy walking around and he always gives him this creepy smile. He said he looks to see if someone is behind him and no one is behind him. Andy said this isn't a #MeToo moment for Memet. He said he loves it when he sees anyone from the Stern Show out there in the halls. Jason said his eyes always light up. Memet said there's eyes lighting up and there's ''eyes lighting up'' and he knows the difference.
Howard said let Andy talk. Everyone was talking over each other. Memet said he likes people being into him. He said he means he did. He said he had a short reign but it was a good one. Howard asked if Memet would fuck around with Andy. Memet said it won't get to that. He said fuck him after he said Nowicki is better.
Andy said he likes a Stern Show staffer but especially one that's good looking. Howard said that's all he's saying. Memet said he's passing that title on to Nowicki. The guys all thanked Andy for being so nice to them up there.
Memet said he thinks that he was just doing that for radio. He said everyone does that. He said he's not saying that Steve isn't a good looking guy though. Howard said he has to move on after this. He asked if Fred knows what's going on. Fred said he doesn't know.
Robin asked if he's still in therapy. Memet said he just found out he can go every other week. He said that's how good he's doing. He said he's been in therapy for 6 or 7 months. Howard said he's been going for like 20 years and he's not any better.
Howard said Memet also thinks he's the smartest one there. Memet said if you look at educational background there is no one on the staff who has gone to a better college than him. He said he went to the university of North Carolina. Brent said it's not even the best in the ACC. Memet said it's one of the most selective colleges in the country. Brent told him about a few that are better.
Gary said no one ever said he was stupid. Brent said Ralph did. Howard said he heard he wanted to challenge Brent to an IQ test. Brent said that this narcissist wants to humble him. Brent said what they just went through is an exercise in narcissism. Memet said the problem with Brent is that he has created a monster with him. He said Howard has made him this all knowing guy who can't be fact checked. He said they had a Hillary bet and Brent thought She was going to win 40 states. He said that he can't do the critical thinking that he has to. He said he doesn't want to be the one to humble him but he thinks he can. Brent said this is the biggest douche bag on the staff and no one else thinks of themselves like this.
Memet said the way he sees it is that Howard said he was in camp and he was called a ''reluctant leader.'' He said he'd like to be able to do that for himself. Howard said he didn't call himself that. He said someone else called him that.
Jason said that Memet is not a leader and the staff is mad at him about that. Howard asked if they can do this IQ test thing. Memet said that he doesn't want it to affect the friendship when he beats him. Howard said he knows they always go at it. Memet said he thinks Brent doesn't know as much as he thinks.
Jason went over how these two fight with each other over stuff. He listed the names they call each other. Memet said he is the least sensitive guy on the staff. He said he feels like he's living in the Twilight Zone. Gary asked if his mirror broke.
Memet said he did cry on the show one day when they got to him. Memet said the next day he was at work and it was water under the bridge. He said he wasn't pouting at work. Howard said Sal can relate. Sal said he didn't disappear for a day. Memet said there is more than one person who has run out of the studio upset. He said he's far from the only one. Robin said no one cried and disappeared. Memet said he was just down the hallway. Gary said he was not. He said he went down to a studio at the other end of the building practically in the fetal position.
Howard said Memet is saying that he and Brent have been going at it and maybe the IQ test has to go down. Brent said there's only one way to find out if he can beat him.
Brent and Memet were going back an forth talking about what they fight over. Memet was dealing Brent a snowflake and things like that. They were arguing about football and things like that. Howard said they go at it a lot. Jason said one time Memet told Brent to go back to his safe space. He said that Memet had to write him an apology letter.
Memet said that he cried just one day. He said the guys on the staff will act like women and cry about this stuff for months after you say it. He said he wondered what the fuck world he was living in. Memet said he said the safe space thing as a brotherly thing. Brent said that his wife could kick Memet's ass. Memet said She certainly has Brent in line. Brent said She could kick Memet's ass. Memet said he's not afraid of Brent. He said he's getting old. Brent said he'll get physical if he wants. Brent said he can do an MMA fight if he wants to. Shuli said they can take the IQ test between rounds.
Gary asked why Memet is a Neo Confederate. Brent said that he is for the confederate statues to stay up. Memet said he doesn't go home and wait for Rachel Maddow to tell him what his opinion is all of a sudden he's this right wing nut. He said he's not a fan of Trump. He said Hillary Clinton was a sure fire win to be president. He said he voted for Trump thinking that it would teach her a lesson. He said he voted for Trump to lessen her lead. Robin asked where he voted. Memet said his vote counts just as much as anyone in there. Gary said he doesn't get that. Howard said he voted for the person he was against. Memet said it makes as much sense as voting for Hillary. Jason said Memet supported Trump through the whole thing.
Howard said sees how they fight a lot. Memet said that he doesn't do this usually. He said he sits back in his office quietly. Gary said he's going to tell him something. He said Memet comes out to the bullpen and holds court every day. Memet said he doesn't do that anymore. Howard asked what Gary is talking about. Gary said he spouts his political beliefs and everyone argues with him. Jason said he's in a different office than they are. Howard said he didn't know this about Memet. Memet said he likes to point out a different way of thinking. He said that's all he's doing.
Howard had Memet's fake therapist on the phone. It was Benjy doing a slow voice and Howard knew it was him. He called him out and he asked why he's doing impressions now. Benjy knew he'd know it was him. He said he suggested someone else do it. Howard had him put the right guy on the phone. They put someone on the line who did the voice of the therapist. Howard had him put Benjy back on after that. Howard asked how he ended up ding that. Benjy didn't get to answer. Howard said he'll talk to him off the air about this. Benjy said he thinks Memet is better looking but he'd rather date Steve if he was a woman. He said he thinks he's much more mature and stable.
Howard asked if Steve if more mature as him. Memet said if you base it off how he comes off in there then yes. The guys said he comes off he same way out there.
Howard said he doesn't know why Benjy was on the phone. He said that really threw him. He said he has to take a break. He said he's not sure where they're at with this. He said he still has to get to the bathroom stories.
Howard said in the email Memet is beating Nowicki. He said he didn't know Memet was feuding with Brent. Jason said he never walks away from the conversations with Memet thinking he has any special thoughts on politics. Memet said that he's not pro Trump but he doesn't think that everything he does is an impeachable offense. He said they treat it like he's treasonous and it's not that bad. He said if it was the other way around they wouldn't be so angry. He said if he was an office that was the opposite of that he'd be doing it the other way around. Shuli said he's just a shit stirrer.
Sal asked if the IQ test is going to happen. Howard asked if they are willing to do it. Memet said it has to be a real one and not an internet one. Brent was up for it too. Brent said he took a military test that no one before him had ever qualified for. Memet said that the Air Force is where the intellectuals go. Brent said no. Robin said when they go to a bar they will fight each other.
Brent said he was going to go in the Air Force first. He said he was going to be a computer programmer but the Marines were more rugged so he went there instead. He said he ended up in Naval aviation which is where smart people go. He asked Memet where he was. Memet said he was on the front lines on the war on terror... in Oklahoma. He said that was at the height of global terrorism. Brent was all over the world. Memet said he would have gone if they wanted him to. He said he had an office job though. He said he worked with guys who flew. He said he was air crew life support. He said he taught people how to egress from aircraft that was crashing. Brent said that's a basic job. The two were arguing and talking over each other.
Robin asked how you egress the plane. Memet said it's been a long time and it's boring to get into. Robin said if he was smart he'd be able to sum it up.
Howard asked what Memet's demands are if he wins the IQ test. Memet wants Brent to kiss his boot and tell him he's the best. Brent said he wants him to kiss his fungus infested toe and shave his head. Howard said no one wants to kiss a fungus toe. Brent said it's the same thing Gary has.
Gary asked what Memet is going to do if he's not as smart as the rest of them. Memet said he's not sure who tested them. Jason said they went to a college where they scored a real IQ test. He said it wasn't done there and it was as real as you can get. Memet said if you want to compare them they'd have to do the same teacher and same test. Robin said he's going to do the test with Brent and Memet. Memet said you can't compare the tests from back then though.
Howard said they will arrange the test. Memet said that he will shave his head if he loses. He said Brent just has to kiss his boot and tell him he's the smartest man in the office. Brent said he's such a narcissist. Howard asked if that would kill Brent inside to kiss his boot. Brent said if he loses he'll just pay off his bet.
Howard said it's on. Shuli said he was on social media yesterday too. Memet said it was just with friends. Howard said he's heard enough. He said he understands what's going on in the back office.
Jason said after today's segment he thinks Memet is a condescending self absorbed piece of shit. Memet said Jason is the guy who can give it out but can't take it. He said he had 2 months of silent treatment after he said just one little thing. He said he said he was pointing out that he was being mean to the PAs for asking them to get him coffee. Howard thanked Brent and Memet for their service and Robin too. Howard said Fred is smarter than anyone there.
Howard said Brent is doing very well. He said his number 1 fan is on the phone. He took the call from one of the guys in the back who was talking about how he is the smartest guy at his work too. Howard said he has a lot in common with Memet. Howard said he hopes there's no hard feelings there. He said he wants to know who is smarter. He said they'll find out. Memet said that he knows he's smarter. Brent told him to shut up and pointed out his ''power alleys'' on the side of his head. Howard said they have to take it easy. Brent was doing a high voice making fun of Memet's voice. Howard said how about they end this. He said they can take a break and take a deep breath. He said they'll come back and tell him what's going on in the bathroom at Sirius. He said they can say fuck it and forget it. Gary said he should hear the stories. Howard said he wants to hear it. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he love Mad Dog Russo. He said JD pulled a clip. He said Mad Dog doesn't like Tom Brady or the Patriots. He said Mad Dog is talking about how he won't watch this reality show that Tom Brady is doing because he won't answer questions when you ask. Howard said he has passion like he's never heard before.
Howard played a clip of Mad Dog talking about Tom Brady and how he should be out there doing interviews. He said he's never out there. Mad Dog said he's not from Minnesota and he's talking about ''going home'' and he went off on him about that. Mad Dog was saying no one gives a crap about that show he's doing. Howard asked who he's into. Gary said he's not sure about football. He said he's into tennis.
Howard said there are a lot of people on the phone who want to comment on all of this stuff. Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Mad Dog Russo impression but he was doing it as Benjy calling in. Howard told him to just do his Mad Dog impression. Sour did that impression for Howard. Mad Dog was asking Howard how he's been doing over the past 4 months. Howard spent a minute with him and hung up after a minute.
Howard said he blew a fit during the commercials. He said he wondered who told Benjy he should call in as Memet's therapist. He said they have all kinds of guys back there who do great impressions. He said there's going to be a meeting after the show today. He said you might want to record that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a Marine F-18 pilot. He said Memet is so out of touch. He said he's been listening all morning and he's really out of touch about women and all of that. Memet said there's a friendly rivalry between the branches. He said it's not that crazy. The caller said there will always be that. Howard said someone who fixes a plane has to be pretty bright. Memet said that they do. He said all he's saying is that the Air Force intelligence is higher than the other branches. Brent said he's jumping to a conclusion like he always does. Memet said Brent is too sensitive. Brent said that he's doing this passive aggressive shit like always. Shuli said they have to put gloves on these two and get them in the ring.
Howard asked if the caller is ready to take the IQ test. The caller said he would love it. Howard said he's going to call it a day on this part. The caller also said that Oklahoma is not the front line for terror.
Howard said he was saying that during the Bubba show they built a cage in the studio and they would have fights in there right away. Brent said they'd throw them right in there and start the fight that fast. Howard asked how many fights he was in. Brent said he was the referee most of the time. He said they had a boxing canvas in the ring.
Gary said Stormy Daniels used to hang out with them all the time on the Bubba show. Howard said no kidding. He said She was kind of hot in the pictures he saw. Brent said She was about 10 years ago. He said She never talked about Trump with them. He said it may have been before She was with Trump. Howard said She was going to come on their show to talk about Trump but he put the kibosh on that.
Gary asked if Bubba and Stormy ever hung out. Brent said they did but he can't confirm anything. He said that it's sure possible. Gary asked if he would have believed that Bubba fucked the same woman that the president did 5 years ago. Howard said he would.
Tommy Lee came up and the guys talked about the girl he's with. They spent a minute talking about this girl he's dating. Richard pointed out he has a huge penis. Richard said he did the coolest thing when he honked the boat horn with his cock. Howard said he had Pam Anderson in her hey day. Richard also talked about that drum set he has that turns upside down. Howard said maybe they should have Richard do that.
Howard asked if Brent thinks that Trump fucked Bubba's wife. Brent said he did meet her at Howard's wedding.
Howard said he's wondering what Melania is thinking about this Stormy Daniels thing. Jason said She canceled that trip She was supposed to go on this week. She said it came out after the Stormy Daniels thing came out. Howard asked if she's going to stay with him. Jason said why not. He said he gets the feeling they don't fuck now. Howard said you want to have some physical contact with someone. Gary asked if you've ever seen a first lady who looks more unhappy. Memet said you can find pictures of anyone who looks unhappy.
Howard said he can't shit like that. He said he wouldn't be able to do that with someone cleaning next one over. Gary said the guy just lives in there. Jason said he has a big can of Urine Be Gone. The celebrities have to go in there too.
Sal said it's like Yankee Stadium in there. He said you have to wait on line to shit. He said you get dizzy from the smell. He said you either do that or hold it in and go shit somewhere else.
Howard asked JD if he shits in there. JD said he never does. He said he holds it in or he goes when no one is there.
Jason said he has to shit at work. Howard asked if he uses baby wipes. Jason said no. He said he just uses dry paper. Memet said he's seen shit in the toilet with no toilet paper in there. He said they're not wiping. Gary said they have people there who don't wash their hands after shitting. Jason said he saw one guy who did that yesterday. He said he followed the guy and he was a fan who was there. He said he was taking pictures with people.
Howard said he heard Jason shits in the middle of the show every day. Jason said he does go around 9 or 10.
Howard asked if Nowicki goes there. Steve said it smells so bad there. He said it's like burning eggs.
Howard asked Sal what happened to him in there. Sal said there's toilet paper in there and he feels like the urine splashes on the paper on the roll. He said he grabs a roll and sticks his hand in there to make a role. He said he stuck his hand in the roll and there was a clump of shit in there. He said he pulled his hand out and it had shit on it. He said he had to wipe his ass but he had shit hand. Howard asked if Richard was in there with him. Richard said not that time. Sal said he had to hold his hand up and wipe with the other hand. He said he was sitting and leaning over to lift a cheek up. He said he had to wash the shit off of his hands after that.
Richard said Sal takes his pants off and hangs them up in the bathroom. Sal said there's piss all over the toilet. Gary asked how he takes his shoes off. Sal said he takes one shoe off and takes a leg off. He said he's just about nude in there. Richard said he hopes there's a fire one day and Sal is in the bathroom.
Howard asked if Sal shoves toilet paper in his nose. Sal said he does. He said he had to do that to keep the smell out of his nose.
Howard asked Memet if he shits there. Memet said that people shit on the floor there. He said it's a professional environment and you don't expect that. Howard asked if Fred shits there. Fred said he does. He said if you go in there with a t-shirt just cover your nose with it.
Gary said that Steve has spent a year documenting this. He said there are people who shit and pee no the seat on purpose. He said it's an angry move. Howard said he thinks he's right. He said that it's disgusting. Steve had pictures to show him. Howard let out an ''Ohh!'' and Sal said that's a picture of Gary. Steve showed Howard more pictures and it was all piles of shit and piss. Steve said there's one guy who sprays the seat with dark yellow piss every day.
Howard said the Sirius cleaning lady is on the phone. He took the call from the woman who was talking about it being a never ending turd fountain. Howard said he thinks this is Benjy. He said this is enough. He said he has to do the news and go home.
Jason said he has a few more things. He said that Steve spits on his toilet paper to wipe. Howard said that's disgusting. Steve said it's his own spit. Robin said that this makes things worse. Steve said he's not hocking something up. Robin said you shouldn't be spitting on toilet paper. Howard said he's giving Memet his title back. Gary said that might be more unsanitary than sitting on the dirty seat. Howard said he should just bring some wet wipes up there.
Jason said that Richard wears his gloves up there and he won't wash his hands because he uses the gloves when he pees. Richard said it makes things easier. Howard said how about just wash your hands.
Jason said that Steve won't use a urinal because he had a traumatic experience at Yankee Stadium. Steve said he was like 5 and he had guys laughing at him when he peed with his pants down. He said that his dad was shaking his head at him. Howard said he can't pee at a urinal because some guy might see his dick. He said he's always been like that.
Howard said he has a urinal at home so he can go like that. Gary said that Sal won't use a urinal because he has to clean up after. Sal said he uses the toilet seat covers to clean up. He said it's a little rough though. Howard asked why he has to do that. Sal said the foreskin holds piss in it. He said he has to dry it off. Howard said he's a fucking mess.
Gary said he's seen Fred go without doing that. Fred said Sal has something wired going on there. He said the toilet paper is fine. He said that the toilet seat cover doesn't work. Sal said it works for him.
Howard said he heard JD goes home in the middle of the day to shit. JD said he waits to shit at home. He said last time he had McDonald's he had to shit in the middle of the day and he went home. He said it took a while because traffic was bad. He said it was a good 20-30 minutes.
Howard took a call from Sour shoes who was doing his George Takei impression telling a storey about using the bathroom and how he wishes he was a Toto toilet so he could have warm pee and doody on him.
Gary said Richard has a story about how he almost ruined a couch at home. Richard said he had an accident at home and had a squirty shit at home. He got shit on his hand at work one day too. He said he was wiping and farted and shit on his hand. Howard said he's never even heard of that. Sal said Richard sat in a puddle of piss on a whole airplane ride. Richard said he had a few beers that day. He said they were taxing on the runway and he wasn't able to get up to use the bathroom. Howard said how about not drinking for a while. Richard said he was on the runway for an hour and a half. Howard asked if he was wet. Richard said he was. He said the flight was 2 and a half hours.
Shuli said when you land in Florida they have to take that seat out. Richard said it was only beer. Richard said that he had no alternative. He didn't ask though. Gary said if someone says they have to go or they'll pee your pants they'll let you get up.
Howard asked Richard about sitting in that pee the whole time. Richard said it was already wet so he just dealt with it. Shuli said he has flown with him and he gets shit faced when he flies. Richard said he never announced he did it so people may not have known.
Howard asked Richard how he shit the couch. Richard said he sharted and it went through his pants.
Sal said Richard farted on the elevator and two women from another floor got on and they just stopped talking.
Howard asked Brent about shitting there once. Brent said this was before the bathroom issue. He said the bowl in the stall was full and he had to go really bad. He said he shit his pants before he could make it to the 37th floor. Brent said he went back to his hotel and he got in the elevator and this smoking hot blonde gets on with him. He said he smelled like shit and She was covering her mouth the whole time in there.
Jason said this isn't just them making trouble there. Jason said they're going to have to shut down the other bathroom when the other one is ready to go. He said this is going to be a total of about 16 weeks.
Howard said he can't take this. Gary said they have spoken to people like Human Newman and Sway to find out what it's like. Howard said they're out of time. Howard played a clip of Sway talking about how he ruined his sneakers in the bathroom and threw them out after getting pee on the laces. Howard said he heard Sway was getting a hair cut in the bathroom there. Gary said someone shaved there and didn't clean it up. Howard said he can't take this anymore. He played a song parody about the bathroom there and went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said She doesn't want to hear any Benjy. Howard hung up on her and took another call from a guy who said he was listening to the Ronnie Tweets. He said he's just like his grandfather and you can't have him on Twitter. He said he posts whatever comes to his mind. He said it's like if Howard's dad was on Twitter.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked about this Tammy Duckworth senator. He said She has no legs. He said she's pregnant. Howard said her legs got blown off while She was serving in the military. King laughed. Howard asked what's funny. King said it was the way he said it. King said he's not sure why She was serving. Howard asked what he can do for him. King asked if you marry someone who loses their legs how do you have sex with them because it wouldn't be attractive anymore. Howard hung up on King and said he's a deep thinker. Robin said you love someone, not their legs. Robin said She was the one who climbed on the bed in the hospital to show a guy he was still a man. Howard said She straddled that guy.
Howard said if his wife didn't have legs she'd be easier to get on top of because She can't run away.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about A-Rod and how he's going to be on ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. Robin said She thought he was an unpopular guy but now he's okay for some reason. Robin said he's going to be a color commentator for them. Howard said he should do football. Robin said some guys do that. Robin said She didn't think he was that popular a guy. She said it seems odd to her that he's finding jobs in broadcasting. Howard said that relationship with J-Lo has gone on longer than he thought it would. He said he didn't think that was going to last.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Ronnie should be part of the IQ test. Howard said this is between Memet and Brent. Howard hung up on Ralph as he was about to say something else.
Robin read a story about a contest to put a robot on the moon has ended without a winner. Howard was still talking about J-Lo and A-Rod. Howard said he's not a fan of J-Lo. He said he never has been.
Robin read a story about a woman who found a recording of Elliot Spitzer yelling at her about something. Robin said this is an old girlfriend who had accused him of being physical with her a while back. Robin said now She has another tape of Spitzer wishing death to her and her parents. Robin said they elected him governor. Howard said he thought he was a good governor. Robin read some more details about the audio file.
Howard took a call from a woman who said She saw Howard and Beth in a picture and Howard is so handsome in it. Howard said She got cut off when She said that. He asked her to repeat it. The caller asked what Beth wears around the house when they're just hanging out. Howard said when they have dinner She wears a knock out outfit. He said he does that too. He said if his wife is making an effort he will too. He said they try to keep it interesting. Howard said sometimes She has a tittie dress. He said a lot of the day she's cleaning cat shit. He said She looks beautiful even doing that. He said he likes her look all the time. He said he doesn't know how She fucks him. He said She must not look at him. He said she's been on her period for 3 years now. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about vaping and e-cigarettes and how they make kids more likely to try regular cigarettes. Robin said it could lead you down the road to real ones but it could help older people stop smoking. Howard said how about just not smoking. He said he had to quit and he just quit. Howard said smoking doesn't get you high or anything. Robin said it does some people. Howard said if you want to live then stop smoking. He said vaping makes you look like a child. He said man up.
Robin read about the family that had 13 children chained up in their house. Robin said they have another court date today. Howard said they are in shock that they are being accused of doing something wrong. Howard said they don't know that changing the kids up is wrong. Robin said they say they are accused of generally torturing them. Robin said the kids are all in the hospital now. She said there are donations coming in from all around the world to help them. She said over $200,000 has come in already. Howard said that's just scratching the surface for what they're going to need. Howard had the kids on the phone. The guys in the back were calling in as the kids speaking in unison and in a monotone. Howard spent a minute talking to the guys who said they were being made to use soap so they're not happy about that. Robin said something so they all told her to shut up.
Robin read a story about Disney giving their employees a $1000 bonus. Howard said that's nice. He said there you go. Howard said he worked for Roy Disney when he worked in Detroit. He said they owned the station he was at. Howard said he doesn't remember getting a bonus. He said he got to keep his job though.
Robin read a story about the president going to Switzerland. Robin said there will be protesters there. Robin said he's going to be there on Friday.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown and how they're trying to decide who the real winner is. Fred played a clip of Ronnie saying ''Edgar J. Hoover.'' Robin said the President is saying that Chuck Schumer is going back on a pledge to support the border wall. Robin said Schumer is saying that's off the table at this point. Howard said he knows that Trump said that they were going to build a wall and have Mexico pay for it. He asked what happened there. Robin said no one is asking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Sarah Huckabee Sanders and said She loves her. Howard said you have to love that She yells at everyone. Robin said yesterday She stepped around a question about Trump firing Robert Mueller. Robin said She says the investigation has gone on long enough. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said Trump must love her. He said he needs someone like that on his team. He said no one will do that for him. He said his staff tell him to fuck off. Robin said he must watch those press conferences and be so happy. Howard said that guy he had early on was so bad. Robin said that was Sean Spicer. Robin had more audio of Sanders talking about some other stuff. Howard said She speaks in that monotone. He did an impression of her doing that but talking about Howard Stern instead of Trump. He kept that up for a couple of minutes talking about how perfect Howard Stern is. Howard said She kind of looks like her dad but she's way more masculine. He said She could beat up her dad. Howard said She doesn't even pause in her speech. He asked if she's a robot. Robin said she's married and a mother. Howard said his mother was a tyrant. He said he can only imagine what she's like. Howard said his mother was Sarah Huckabee Sanders before there was one. He wondered how She got to be the way She is. He said her dad seems like kind of a fun loving dad. Howard said She doesn't even fumfer when she's doing it. Howard said just listen to her, she's like a fucking robot.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing the voice of Sanders' husband. He was hiding in the attic. He said She just threw a chair. Howard said he didn't hear anything. He said She was throwing them silently. Howard hung up and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about the doctor for the gymnastics team and how his hearing is still going on. Robin had some audio clips of some gymnasts talking about the case. Howard said you can't even find people who can't stay away from children these days. He said it seems like an epidemic. Robin said it's so sad. She said just leave children alone. Robin said these kids are trying to represent their country and he's abusing them. Robin asked why the have to have 4 days of testimony before sentencing this guy.
Robin said yesterday on Good Morning America two of James Franco's accusers were on. Robin had some clips for Howard to play. Robin said this one woman said something about the sex scenes in his teaching class. She said there were scenes that were added after they were given the scripts. She said they seemed gratuitous and unnecessary. She said they were nude sex scenes they were acting out. She also said he is not an unfeeling monster. She said that he is very talented. Robin said she's confused. Robin had Howard play another clip of a woman claiming that James pushed her head down on a date. Howard said he made Fred blow him for his part in Private Parts but he loved it. Fred said he learned a lot. Howard said James had that movie about North Korea and stuff. He said now he could have been nominated for an Oscar and this shit is going down. Robin said he can't even show up now. Howard asked if they will see James on the show anymore. Robin said She doesn't know. She said he may have to take some time to think about where he's going next. Howard said they just wait there to see who shows up. Today it was Memet and Brent.
Robin read a story about Netflix and how they announced how much money they lost because of Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K. Robin said they spent $39 million making them. Howard said they have some serious cash. Robin said they just raised their rate too.
Robin said a clown had to retire from the circus. Robin said it was Grandma the Clown and he had to resign because back in 2012 he asked another member of the circus to take some photos and he asked her to take off her underwear. Robin said She put on a thong instead. Robin said She says he asked her to move the thong to the side. Howard asked who would think a dude as Grandma the Clown would be creepy. He said he fucking hates clowns. He asked Robin if She has ever laughed at a clown. Robin said She used to think Lorenzo the Clown was funny. He was a local clown. Robin said he would dance. Howard said he's never seen that act. He said he has yet to have a clown make him laugh. Howard said he had Bozo the Clown but that was national.
Robin said that Grandma the Clown has turned in his resignation. Robin said this woman came forward to talk about this when the guy returned to the circus after he had gone away for awhile. This woman was 16 at the time.
Robin read a story about Garrison Keilor who left NPR after he was accused of harassment. Robin said he was accused and he said they were doing this because he put his hands on a woman's back to console her. Robin said now they have more details on that. Robin said there are dozens of sexually inappropriate acts. Howard said he's a creepy looking dude too. He said he knew that dude was up to something.
Robin read a story about the makers of Tide working on stopping people from eating detergent pods. Robin said they call the Tide Pod Challenge very dangerous. Robin said they're trying to get social media sites to take down videos featuring that challenge.
Howard took a call from Ralph who was defending James Franco saying that he isn't a predator. He said these chicks are just upset they had a bad date. Robin said one of them was in his class. Ralph said She was learning about script changes. Robin said she's sick of guys defending this kind of thing. Howard had let Ralph go already. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.