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Howard started the show talking about how he was thinking the other day of changing the opening song to a different Rob Zombie song. He said he heard one of his songs on a music channel and he thought about changing it. Then he lost interest in his own idea. He said that was the end of that story.
Howard said he has the same ritual every morning. He said he gets up and takes a shower and listens to MSNBC. He said they have a morning show and their programming is weird. He said sometimes they don't have news on the weekend. He said they have to do 24/7 news if they want to win with that shit. Robin said she's not sure why she'd tune into a news station and see long form programming. Howard said maybe they've done well with it.
Howard said he woke up and put on MSNBC and there was a woman named Yasmin Vossoughian. He said when she talks she buzzes through names. He said it's kind of weird. He said he's been watching that channel for like a year and she says one name that he still can't understand. He said he still doesn't know this guy's name. Howard played a clip and Yasmin mentions the name that he can't figure out. Howard asked if he's Mister Mxyzptlk or something. He said you can't understand that name. He said it's like JD pronounced your name. Howard replayed the clip.
Howard said this guy is over in Israel and this woman is sitting at home in the studio. He said she can't get the guy's name out there. Robin said Howard hasn't even figured out her name. Howard said she says it so fast you just can't get it. He said it's like she's in the witness protection program. He said he's not sure what their names are but she drives him nuts. He said she just announced she's pregnant with her second child. He said he likes her but they people over there are saying ''sort of'' too much. He said she used it 3 times in one sentence. He said it's unbelievable what's going on over there.
Howard said he hates ''sort of.'' Robin asked where it's necessary. Howard said it's not. He said if you said ''I think President Trump was trying to apologize sort of.'' is something they could say. Robin said no. She said it's a sort of spice or something like that. Howard said he likes them all over there but they have to cut it out with the ''sort of'' over there.
Howard looked up the name that Yasmin was saying. Howard tried to pronounce it himself. He wasn't having much luck.
Howard said he has a use for sort of. He said Richard Christy is sort of gay. He said that's how you use it.
Howard played another clip of Yasmin using ''sort of'' too many times. Howard said she used it 3 times. Robin said they're in weird spots. She said she went right to her thought. Howard said it's like a pause. He said he thinks they think they sound smart when they say that. He said they have to stop doing that over there. He said he yells at the screen when he hears that. Robin said she's seeing that she works at CNN and not MSNBC. Howard said they work at MSNBC. He said he knows that.
Howard played the clip of Yasmin saying the name of her co-worker. Howard said he likes the channel but his big bugaboo is that ''sort of'' thing. He said he's starting to use it himself because of that. He asked Robin not to hold him to the same standard of other broadcasters. He said don't evaluate what he odes. Robin said he has to stop watching if that's the case. Howard said they read off a script and he's doing this live so it's a different thing. Howard said they should slow down when they say someone's name over there.
Howard had Bobo on the line and Bobo said fuck you to the caller. He said he's been calling in for a long time and this caller doesn't know how the show works. Howard said Bobo doesn't know how it works. He said let the guy talk. The caller said they should change his name to Bobo the Bore. He said it's just too much. Bobo said the caller is out of his mind. He said it's all about entertainment. He said that he's not speaking for millions of fans. Bobo said it's just this guy and several other people. Howard said there are a lot of people calling in. Robin said it is droves of people.
The caller said they need more Gary the Conqueror. He said they need more of that Eugene from Kentucky too. He said that's what they need. Howard thanked him for that. Bobo said give him a break. Robin said she doesn't get Bobo's argument about it being entertainment. Howard asked Bobo what he means by that. Bobo said this guy doesn't know how the show works. Howard said Robin must not know either. The caller said Bobo brings the show to a screeching halt.
Howard said Bobo is doing something weird. He said he's sending porno to Memet. He said he's friends with Memet online and since October of last year he's been messaging him with graphic porn. He said Memet never responds to it and Bobo keeps sending it. He said Memet got this one video where a man is violently pissing on two girls. He said this is the example that Memet gave him. He said then he wants to hear Bobo's explanation for why he's doing this.
Howard said he got an angry letter from this woman Lady Olivia Fyre who was angry about last week's show. He said that he talked about the mom and son taking a bath together. He said that was her video. He said she's upset that he didn't credit her. He read the note he got from her and she said it would be nice if he did give credit since the show is benefiting from it. Howard said he thought he was doing her a favor by not mentioning her. He said she's right though so he'll credit her. He played the clip he played last week where she was giving her son a bath and he got a boner so she was going to make it go away for him. Howard said that's Lady Olivia Fyre jerking her son off in the tub.
Howard asked where the Bobo clips are. JD told him where they were. Howard said he understood that. Robin didn't.
Howard said Bobo has to give him some information here. He said he has a list of the porn he's sent to Memet. Howard played the clip with the violent pissing. Howard said he doesn't have their names to give credit. He said he's sorry about that. Howard said maybe that's a good thing.
Howard said Memet said that Bobo has just started sending this stuff and he's not sure why. He read some notes from Memet about what Bobo has sent him. He said it's not even good porn. He said it's just weird.
Howard said he never thought of Bobo as super sexual. Bobo said he thought Memet would be into it because he's on dating sites and stuff. He said what guy wouldn't be into it. Howard said he doesn't want his dumb porn clogging up his inbox. Howard read more about the clips he's sent to Memet. Howard had a bunch of clips that sounded weird to him.
Howard said Bobo also sent Memet a gun violence petition too in the middle of all of that. Howard asked Bobo why he'd do that. Bobo said he knows Memet from going up there and he figured he was all sexed up from the dating sites and stuff. Howard said if anyone there would be into it might be Ronnie. Bobo said Ronnie gets enough of that. Howard said Bobo thinks he wants to see porn because he's on dating sites.
Bobo said he sent some stuff to Shuli and they did the sting on him with H.R. Howard had no idea what he was talking about.
Howard had Memet come in to talk about this. Memet said he was puzzled by this. He said they all enjoy porn but he's never sent it to his friends. Robin said she wonders about guys who want to share porn. Howard said he just watches it and doesn't send it to Gary. Bobo said it's a guy thing. Memet said it is not. He said there's something weird about knowing what his buddy is jerking off to. Howard asked what Bobo thinks he's going to do with that. Bobo said he thought he was sexed up and would enjoy the clips. Howard said that's not getting under the hood psychologically. He said you don't just send that stuff to Memet.
Memet asked if he ever thought that he wasn't into it because he wasn't responding to him. Bobo said he never thought that. He said that he just figured he wasn't responding. Memet asked about the pissing porn and what he's ever said that made him think he'd be into that. Bobo said it's just a guy thing.
Howard asked who he sends porn to. Bobo said he sends it to fans. He said he send it to friends of his. Howard asked why he likes it. Bobo said he digs some of it. He said some of it is ''ridic-lus''. Howard asked if he sends it to fans. Bobo said they send it to him too. He said it's like having a book club. Howard said he just said that and Bobo made it seem like it was his own.
Howard said it's weird to send it to Memet. Bobo said he's not sitting there waiting for a reply. He said sometimes people will give him a thumbs up on it. He said once in a while it would be fine. He said he's not looking for a reply. Memet said he can write him any time but it doesn't have to be porn.
Howard and Fred did their Bobo impressions for a minute. Memet said he thought Bobo was hacked. He said that's how weird it was to him. He said that Bobo will include a note like ''Enjoy brother'' or something with the clips. Howard and Fred did their Elmer Fudd-like voices for Bobo.
Memet said he was thinking it's like flashing and trying to shock him with the videos. Howard said he thinks that people who have a tough time connecting do stuff like that. He said that Bobo is a guy who doesn't connect and this is how he's trying to do it. He said he's trying to do it in any way he can. Bobo said it's like a bro thing. Howard said if any of his bros did that he'd say they're not his bros. He said that he doesn't want his porn. He said that's unless it's something funny or completely outrageous. Howard said Bobo is looking for friends. He said Bobo and Memet don't know each other. They're not bros. Robin said he's totally off the mark. Bobo said down there in Florida he doesn't have nay friends. He said in New York he has friends.
Howard let Bobo go but Bobo said he has one more thing. He said tell Ronnie that he's still on for the race. Howard had no idea what he was talking about so he hung up on him and played him off with a song parody.
Howard said how about the Cranberries ''Zombie.'' He said he likes that. Memet said how about Miley Cyrus and ''The climb.'' Howard said he lies that and he'd listen to it in public. Memet asked if he would listen to that at the gym with his Navy Seals buddies. Howard said he's not embarrassed. He said it's a good song. Memet said that he likes some girl songs but he wont listen to them in public.
Howard said Memet is so fucked up. He said he has to get to the shrink. Howard said he has such strange thoughts. Memet asked if there are dudes rolling around Harlem listening to Cardi B. Howard said of course they are. Memet said that female singers are popular with women and male singers are popular with dudes. Howard said The Cranberries and Jefferson Airplane had male followers. He said that there are plenty of women who had male audiences. Memet said any song that's sung by a chick is for girls. Howard said that he's into Taylor Swift. Howard said the record companies don't care who buys the records. He said Memet is wrong. He said musicians put out music and they hope someone responds to it. He said they don't care if it's women or men. He said Carole King put out albums that both men and women bought. Memet said that guys can transcend better than women. He said he has said he likes the music. Howard said Brandi Carlile, what about her. Memet said that wasn't guy music.
Howard said how about Joni Mitchell. He said she has tons of guy fans. He said he sings that stuff all the time. Memet said he doesn't know her. Howard said how about Alanis Morissette. Memet said that she's aimed at girls. Fred told Memet he's out of the loop. He said he's over the hill.
Howard said Amy Winehouse isn't girl's music. Memet said it's good girls's music. Howard and Fred said Aretha Franklin is for everyone. Howard made some references that Memet didn't get. Howard kicked him out of the studio.
Howard said this writer did an interview that lasted 3 weeks with John and Yoko. He said they had John commenting on his songs and he was saying that he could make most of the songs better. Howard said he pulled like 9 songs to talk about. He said the list was really long. Howard read about ''Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'' and Lennon said he hated the way it was recorded but the song was good. Howard said that's so nuts but that was him. He played some of the song.
Howard said that John Lennon hated ''When I'm 64'' and called it Granny music. He said he wouldn't dream of writing a song like that. Robin said she gets his thoughts on that. She said it's A-typical. Howard played the song. He said he remembers hearing that song when he was 13. He said it was right at the end of Summer Camp. He said the camp was all white kids and then he went home and
Howard said he brought in that Sgt. Peppers album to class and got ridiculed. He said that he started talking black after that.
Howard said the song ''Good Morning, Good Morning'' idea came from a Kellogg's commercial. Howard played the jingle that it was inspired by. Robin knew it before Howard even played it. Howard played the song and said he loves that story. He said Lennon said it was a throw away piece of garbage. He said that was something that he hated the song.
Howard read about some of the other songs that John didn't like. He talked about ''Lovely Rita'' and how he didn't like that one. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said John didn't like the version of ''Across the Universe'' that they recorded. He said John said Paul would ''sort of'' try to destroy their songs. He read about what he said about that song and how Paul was subconsciously sabotaging the songs. Howard said it has to be tough for Paul to love John after that. Howard played some of that song too. Howard said he loves that song. Robin said each of the songs were brilliant but he had a different vision of them. Robin said this one worked.
Howard said John hated ''Mean Mr. Mustard'' and it was inspired by a man who hid his money up his anus. He said the song was a piece of garbage. Howard played some of the song. Howard said he always thought the lyrics were ''Mean Mr. mustard seeds.''
Howard said finally the song that John hated was ''Let it Be'' because of some of the lyrics that Paul wrote. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said John said he wasn't satisfied with any of the songs they wrote. He said he was always obsessing about how they could have been better. Robin said it's like an artist and a work of art never being perfect. Howard said John Lennon changed music for history. Robin said some of those songs he called throw aways and junk.
Howard said that King of All Blacks will be coming in after the break. He took a call from Sour shoes who was doing his George Takei impression and talking about Mean Mr. Mustard and Brad having mustard on his hot dog. He was singing and doing the George impression. Howard let him go and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that's Robin's boyfriend singing. He said he wanted her to marry him. Howard said he went to see his parents last week. He said there was too much traffic. He said his parents can only handle him for about 20 minutes. He said that's about how long they can handle each other. He said he stays about 25 minutes and that's too long. Robin said she can do at least 2 hours. Howard said Robin has always been better at things like that. He said things just go wrong. He said they were talking and Beth was there. He said he thought about having an emotional moment. He said he told his mom he sent her a card for mother's day. He said he wanted to say to her face what he wrote in her card. He thanked her for being home for the kids. He said she sacrificed herself for the kids. He said she was always there for him. He wanted to thank her for that. He said his mom looked at him and said ''oh alright.''
Howard said he said something to his dad too. He said he thanked him for going to work and making sure they were provided for. He said his dad just looked at him. He said he was waiting for them to say he was a good son. He said his dad was sitting there thinking. He said every year he used to send his parents fruit or chocolates for mothers day or father's day. He said his mother called a couple of years ago asking him not to send anything. He said he switched from food to flowers. He said his mom called again and she complained about that too. He did his mother's voice talking about that.
Howard said his mother would work sometimes and he'd come home from school and have a cocktail. He said he was sitting there on Wednesday night and his father says to him ''Don't send that shit anymore!'' He said he did that in front of Beth. He said that he asked him not to send him shit. Howard said he was thinking back to the flowers and fruit. He said he told his dad he stopped doing it. He said that the gracious thing to say is thanks but please don't send it anymore. He said he's saying ''don't send shit!'' He said ''the fuck!?'' He said he looked at his wife and he realized he had stayed 5 minutes too long. He said he thought about all of the shit he's been sending to them. He said he's tortured.
Robin said he shouldn't try doing new things. He said his dad can't handle emotion. Howard asked if he's Mr. Spock. He said he's like Spock and Frankenstein combined.
Howard said he has tried to share moments with them. Robin said he has to get into their world. Howard said he's done working for those moments. Robin said those are the ones they have to get into. Howard said he's done searching. He said this isn't a mystery search. He said it feels like a scavenger hunt. Robin said that sending cards is another ordeal. Howard said he just looks for ''Happy Mother's Day.'' Robin said she read a card in the store and she realized they weren't her feelings. She said she sent the card to her and her mother called saying it was an amazing card. Robin said she sent it to her knowing she'd like it. Howard said his dad would say he ruined his day.
Howard said he was jealous of the kids chained to the bed. He said in some strange way that was love.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who congratulated Robin on the new Howard 360 act. Mariann said they have a lot of material on there now. Howard said he doesn't think everyone gets it yet. Howard said he thinks it's like 5-10 percent of the audience. Mariann said everyone has to check their app and phone every day. Mariann said she's loving it. Howard said this is how his dad should feel about him. Mariann was going nuts and screaming so much she wasn't understandable.
Howard said Blink 182 has a song he likes and he painted to the song this weekend. He said the song is sad. He said it's about divorce and he thinks about his kids and his divorce. He said the song is about divorce. The song is ''Stay Together For the Kids.'' Howard played the song and said he loves these guys.
Howard asked Gary where these guys are. Gary said it seems that Tom DeLonge is now chasing UFOs. He said he's trying to prove the existence of aliens. Howard said he should go back to writing songs. He said he's a genius. Howard asked why anyone would devote their life to aliens. Howard said you don't see him doing anything but this radio show. He said UFOs aren't paying the bills. Howard played another Blink 182 song, ''All the Small Things'', while he was talking about that. Howard said they need him back to write songs. Robin asked what he's going to write about now. She said he'll write about chasing aliens. Howard said he can look for UFOs at his concerts. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said King is going to critique his staff over their clothing. King said he saw them already and some by mistake. Howard said King has been calling into the show for about 25 years. He said at times he is funny and sometimes he's annoying. He said that Wendy Williams was complaining about him. He said that he showed up at some restaurant she was at and he was annoying her. King said they were going to Chilis and he just said hello to her. King said her husband gave her the chin. He said he was asking what's up with that. He said he just said hello. Howard said that maybe he was lingering too long. King said he nodded hello to Wendy. He said that's all he did. Howard said sometimes Beth will want someone to get the fuck away from the table.
Howard played a clip of Wendy Williams talking about King bothering her at the Willowbrook Mall. She said they were at the Chilis there in the mall and King came over to her. She said that he's from the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he wants to say that he isn't from his show. He said that he calls the show. He doesn't work for him. He said he didn't tell him to go over to her table. Howard said he doesn't work there. King said he's about to ask him for a job. He said he's retired now.
Howard played more of Wendy talking about this meeting and how King was egging on her husband. King said he wouldn't do that now. Howard said he must have been a bit of an asshole. Howard said he did that to Robin and drove to her house. King said he wasn't impolite. He said he wasn't obnoxious. Howard said she's saying that he grabbed one of her French fries or something. King said way back then he had a crush on Wendy. He said he went into her studio once when she invited her up there. Howard said he smelled her chair and got kicked out. King said he was just being funny. He said she wasn't there in the studio. He said someone told her about it. Howard said he's not sure what the beef was over.
Howard said King is a retired garbage man and street sweeper. King said he misses it. He said he doesn't have anything to do. He said his mother and father left him some money and he has some property and a house in Barbados. Howard said he says he only has $264,000 left. King said he doesn't talk about money like that. He said he spent like 92,000. He said the Rolex was about 22,000 and he spent like 16,000 on this ring. Howard said that's crazy.
Howard said fashion is very important to the King. He said that he thinks a man should dress well for his woman. King said guys get married and they don't care how they look anymore. King said that he saw Howard's jacket with buttons all over it and he knew it was a $4,000 jacket. Howard said King has mocked his staff over the years so they're going to do a fashion show. He said King will address the staff on their fashion choices.
Howard said here it is, the King of All Blacks fashion show. Howard said he has Brent, Ralph, Gary, Jon Hein, Rahsaan from the Wrap Up Show, Ronnie and Jason coming in.
Howard said he wants King to look over the staff and they'll start with Brent. Howard said good morning to him. He said Brent used to work for Bubba and he now works for them. He asked what his problem is with Brent. King said he didn't know he was involved with this bit. He said he was wondering what kind of sneakers he was wearing. King said it's time to get rid of them when you see that indentation on them. He said they don't look good. Brent said that he's taking advice from someone who has plastic on their sneakers. King said his are $275. Brent said he got ripped off. King said that they're not meant for Brent. Brent said that's fine.
Howard asked what else is wrong with Brent's look. King said his jacket is wrong. He said it looks like it's missing a button. King said it's now always about the expense. He said that he can afford something. Howard said the jacket is fine. Ralph agreed. He said the sneakers aren't ratty. He said they're not great and the shirt is too blue. He said it's not horrible. He said he likes King's shoes too. King said Ralph dresses impeccable. He said that he has no complaints about Ralph.
Howard moved on to his jewelry. King said he looks like he's on a job interview but he doesn't want the job. Jason said the one thing they talk about is the heavy metal lapel pin. King asked who cares about that. He said that's Home Depot shit. Howard asked him to give him a rating on a scale of 10. King gave him a ''generous'' 2.
Howard said that they're going to move on to Jason who weighs 275 pounds. King said his jeans are bell bottoms and high waters at the same time. He said he loves Jason and he hates to do this. He said he's going to act like his wife. He said shave your chest and neck. He said he has to do that. Howard asked Ralph if he agrees on that. Ralph said he does. He said that Brent looks all heavy under his shirt. King said he doesn't look crispy. Jason said he doesn't know where to stop if he does shave. Howard said he can do better on the jeans too. King said he's trying to figure out what they are. Jason said he thinks they're Levis. King said they're not Levis. King said they're from JC Penny or something. Howard asked what else is going wrong. King said the suit jacket could be nicer. He said the sneakers look crazy. He said they're the worst. Jason said they're Sketchers. King said his 8 year old looks way past those.
Howard asked Ralph if they're bad. Ralph said the sneakers look too small. He said they should be boots or something. He said he has little feet. He said he dresses good for a fat guy though. King said you have to look good while you are trying to lose weight. Howard asked him for a score. King said he and Brent are running neck and neck. He gave Jason a 3.
Ralph said that he'd give Brent a 5. He said he's not that bad. King asked if he would wear anything he has on. Ralph said no way.
Howard moved on to Ronnie who was wearing a suit. King said he looks regular. He said it's not good or bad. He said it's just regular and he's invisible like in the background. Gary asked how he could look better. King said that belt is too wide. Ronnie said he can't wear a thin belt. He asked who the fuck this guy is. Ronnie said look at that gold shit he wears. He said this is a stupid idea. He said King is so stupid and he thinks he's so cool. He said everything is about money and price with him. He asked who gives a fuck. King said he didn't have to struggle growing up. Ronnie said he's being an asshole about this.
Howard said Ronnie is wearing a Hugo Boss suit. King asked if that's a Movado Watch. Ronnie said it's not but he does have one. He said this is a cheap watch. He said he has 15 different Skagen watches. King said it's in those magazines. He said you can get them in Motor Trend magazine. King said he could get a leather band. Ronnie said he doesn't care what he says, he's nothing to him. He called him garbage.
King said that he's wearing steel toe shoes. Ronnie said they're comfortable. He said he's on his feet all day. He said that King can't even walk right. He did an impression of him walking. King said he has 3 cars. He said his phone opens his garage. Howard asked what kind of cars he has. King said he has a Avalon and a classic Cadillac. He said it's in mint condition. Ronnie told him what he has too. Ronnie asked what he drives for his regular car. King said he drives an Avalon and he had a truck before that. He said that the other cars are bullshit. He said he has a Taurus and his wife has a new Honda. He said that he will be honest. He said his father told him not to spend his money on the fucking cars. He said what he wants is a Porsche Macan Turbo. He said he'll do that after his lease is up. King said when his father was living he'd buy him cars. He said he had a Lexus before. He said that he has cars that are silver so he blends in.
Howard went through what Ronnie is wearing and talked about his $150 watch. King asked if his wrist is green. Ronnie said it's not. Howard asked about his eyewear. King said they're alright. Howard said Brent is shooting King the death look. Brent said he's just wondering why Rerun is in there critiquing them.
Ralph said the only thing Ronnie has wrong is the square toe shoes. He said they're really out of date. He said it's not a good look. Howard said alright. He asked what King gives Ronnie on a scale of 10. King said he'll give him a score of 5. Howard asked Ralph what he says. Ralph said he's a 5 or 6. He said he should stick to the suits though. He said when he's out in regular clothes he doesn't look good. King said he's seen him in shorts and he wore dress socks. Ronnie said they were just socks. He said they were black socks.
Howard asked about his facial hair. King said that's fine. He said he'll give him that. Ronnie said nothing he says means shit to him.
Howard said he has a picture of Ronnie at a comedy show. King said all you have to do is look at yourself and asks if you world wear it. Howard said he might wear that jacket King is wearing. He said that the sneakers are fine. He said they're not his thing though.
Howard had Rahsaan up next. King said he looks innocent. Howard asked what's wrong with him. King said look at those shoes. Rahsaan said they're wavy. King said he doesn't know anything about Wavy. Howard asked what Wavy is. King said it means you're fresh. King said he ain't with no black woman. Rahsaan said his wife is black. King said he doesn't look like the type. Howard asked King what he gives Rahsaan. King said the jeans are fine. He said he ironed his shirt today. He said that he's ashy. He said that he should be shining when he comes out the house. Howard said a lot of brothers would use Vaseline when they came out of the shower. King said he should be greasing up. He said he greased his head this morning. Howard said he can see it. Rahsaan said don't listen to this bullshit. Howard asked if Rahsaan ever does that. Rahsaan said he does use lotion multiple times a day. He said he isn't ashy. He said King does that every time he's on the show. King said he knows he uses Suave or some shit like that. He said that he could use Vaseline once a day and that's it. He said if you're black you have to be careful what you do.
Howard asked Brent what he doesn't like about King. Brent said he doesn't like trust fund babies. He said he also doesn't like that he had a government job. King and Brent went at it for a short time.
Howard asked if Rahsaan's beard and all of that is okay. King said it's fine. He said he should get a pedicure and a manicure. Rahsaan asked why they're even doing this shit. King said he looks like he was eating licorice. Howard asked if his nails are dirty. King said they are. Rahsaan said that he looks like he was changing the transmission. Rahsaan called him Larry and told him he doesn't have to do this bullshit. King told him not to call him Larry. He said it's Lawrence.
King lifted up his shirt and Ronnie said look at those tits. He couldn't stop saying it. Ronnie was cracking up laughing at the size of his tits.
Howard asked everyone to take a breath because everyone was talking over each other. Ronnie said he has plenty of breath. Howard told them to all calm down. Ronnie and King kept going at each other.
Howard said he wants to get back to Rahsaan. He asked for a number. King said his facial work is cool. He said he likes his shirt. He said that's probably Old Navy. Rahsaan said it's J. Crew. King laughed. Howard said he would ear that shirt. Rahsaan said J. Crew is great. He said King doesn't know anything. King said don't put your chest out with Polo on. Rahsaan said he doesn't have any of them. Howard asked for a number. King said he's in the lead. He said he'll give him a score of 6.
Howard said that he's sorry about that but Rahsaan has to get new shoes and some Vaseline. Ralph said he would trim the beard. He said he'd go bigger on the shirt too. He said the jeans are too skinny jean looking. He said you just see his shoes. Ralph said that it's ridiculous what King says about labels. He said you can find nice things in JC Penny. Howard said they should put this fashion show up today on Howard 360.
Howard said that Jon Hein is wearing a nice outfit today. King said that he's very interesting. He said that the converse are nice. He said he should have on a straighter jean though. He said if you wear a lumberjack shirt you should not have those jeans on. Howard said they're like farmer jeans. He said Jon is on TV too. Jon said he doesn't wear them on TV. Howard asked Ralph what he makes of Jon Hein. Ralph said it's tough for Jon because he's a little thick. He said that what he would do is get rid of the Apple Watch. He said his problem is his hair. He said he should maybe shave his head. He said it's weird. Jon said he has been thinking about it. Ralph said that it's hard to find jeans to fit too. He said he might want to go to pants. Howard asked King what he would give Jon. King said that he's giving him a 3. He said the Converse almost saved him.
Howard moved on to Gary Dell'Abate. King said Gary looks okay today. Gary said he has some Varvatos shoes on. He said he also got a Maxima for a car. Gary said his father told him not to waste his money on cars. Howard asked what Gary gets for a number. Jason said it's weird that Gary has a Nissan. He said that his first thought was ''did something happen?'' He said he's always had a BMW. Gary said it's a top of the line Maxima. King said he'd give Gary a score higher than everyone else. Rahsaan asked if they can stop going to this clown over this stuff. He said he's Larry the former Garbage Man. He said he's not his King. King said that he's the kind of guy that you can't talk about money with. He said he worked all his life and his father lent him a couple of dollars but don't make that a bad thing. Rahsaan said the bad thing is him coming in there and doing this.
Howard said King did give Rahsaan some advice on using Vaseline. Rahsaan said he uses lotion. Howard said that most of Gary's clothes are from their sponsor. Gary said just the pants. He said he bought the shirt and the shoes. King said at least Gary knew that he should get some Varvatos stuff. He said some of the people there look like they do the opposite of what Howard does. Howard said he gets that from a lot of the guys there. He said some of them won't even say 'Hey now' back to him.
Ralph said he agrees that Gary is the best dressed. He said that he has to say that the Untuckit shirts are great. King said he'll give Gary a 7. He said possibly an 8. He said he looks like that actor who does that charity. He said he's that nice looking actor. George Clooney. Howard said Gary just hugged him for that.
Howard asked King to give Ralph a number. King said he's always on point and he gives him a 10. Howard said Ralph knows how to dress. King said no question about it. He said these days you have to dress a little feminine these days. Ralph asked what's feminine. Ronnie asked if that's why he has breasts. King said that runs in his family. Ralph said that King is accentuating that with the giant medal he has on. King said he can't help that. Ralph said it draws the eye to his breasts. King said that the medal is something his father lent to him. He said his father has had it since the 70s. Ralph told him to tuck it in. Howard said he loves men arguing about fashion.
Howard said they have learned that black people dress better than white people. He said King told Rahsaan that he should know better. King said he's out of tune with the times. Ralph said he's right about that. He said that black people do dress with the times better.
Howard asked if some of the guys would benefit from a fashion consultation from Ralph. Ralph said they can't afford him. King said he could do it for free. He said just watch Ralph and you see what to wear. Ralph said Brent has a tacky Iron Maiden pin on. He said it's not good. Brent said he doesn't give a fuck.
Brent was still talking about the tits King has. King said he's going over the same thing over and over.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her comment is about King telling his wife when she can go outside. King said that's right. Howard said he has never heard a man who tells his wife when she can go out. King said she asks at this point. He said that he does say no to her. Howard asked when he has done that. King said she went to Puerto Rico the other day. He said he didn't want her to go. King said it was personal business and he didn't want her to go. Gary asked why he would keep her from going. King said he thought it was senseless. He said that her grandfather died and she wanted to get some money. He said he told her she was going for nothing. King said she came back with a t-shirt for him. He said he was upset that she was gone. He said he likes her and loves her. He said if he didn't like her he wouldn't care if she went. He said that he asks her to ask him when she goes somewhere. Howard said this is very archaic thinking.
Howard said King said he doesn't like Fred's shoes today. King said he did. Fred said they're Adidas and they're comfortable. King said he's not sure what this comfortable shit is. Fred was critiquing King's clothes too. He said he loves the bicycle chain necklace too. Howard cut them all off.
Howard said he has a guy from ISIS on the phone. The guy said he agrees with King. He said he keeps his wife chained to the stove and he throws rocks at her. He said King must agree with that. King said he doesn't.
Howard said he has King's wife on the phone. He picked up and she was talking about him and saying ''Don't hit me!'' Ralph said that Jason has to trim up his beard. He said it's a mess. He said he has to pick a line and cut it. Howard said his whole neck is covered in hair. Jason said he's a monster.
Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe next week they can have Bobo come in next week to judge everyone's hair style since King is in this week.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they're going to have this on the app. Howard said he hopes they can have it up today or tomorrow. He said he would like to do that.
Ralph said that King's sunglasses are too dark. King said he has some Gucci that he didn't bring today and they didn't go along with anything he wears so he didn't wear them.
Howard said Rahsaan seems to have something on his mind. Rahsaan said he just can't stand this guy. He said it's well documented. Rahsaan and King went at each other calling each other clowns and saying they embarrass black people. King said that Rahsaan likes Tupac but he must have a knapsack. Rahsaan said he doesn't. King asked what the greatest rap album is out right now. Rahsaan said they're not going to agree on this. King said how about in the last 15 years. Rahsaan said oh man. He said he thought Kendrick's album was great. King said see, you can tell. Rahsaan also likes Childish Gambino. King said you can't blast that shit out your car.
Rahsaan said that he thinks Kendrick Lamar is great. King said that Jay Z is the best rapper out there and off into infinity. King said that if Jay Z is the greatest rapper Jim Jones ''Wasted Talent'' is great. He said that he's the greatest. Rahsaan said he hasn't been big in rap in years but he's very talented. King said he's not a great rapper. He said he's good. Robin said she's not the type of black person that King thinks they need. Howard said Robin is so dope that she listens to Simona Dinnerstein. King said that's the other side of her.
Howard said he has the director of the TV element of the show. Howard took the call and he was yelling about how they have to get this up now on the app.
Ralph said that Childish Gambino should put a shirt on. He said he has that belly and he has to put a shirt on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is like the Great Gatsby done by Key and Peele. He said this guy has no style whatsoever. He said he thinks that Lacoste is a good brand. King said they're like $100.
Howard took another call from a guy who said King is a fraud. He said he's making all black people look bad. He said they rob guys like King down in Miami. King said he wouldn't even think of robbing him. The caller and King were arguing and the caller was trying to say something that no one but Robin heard. The caller said that he would bet $100,000 and say that his necklace is more karats than King's is. Howard asked what is going on there. Rahsaan said this is not authentic. He said this is an act. King said he's been this way since he was born.
Howard asked what King thinks about Benjy. King was talking about how awful he looks too. Ralph said he can see the crease in King's t-shirt. He said he didn't wash it. King said you don't have to wash a new shirt.
Benjy came in so King said he looks like he's about to clean fish. He was wearing an orange cap. King said those sneakers look like gloves. He said at least he might scrape up something if he dressed nicer. King asked him to show his chest a little bit. Benjy showed his chest and King said he shaved it. Benjy said Ralph should do something with his hair. He said he should get a more masculine hair cut. He said he looks greasy and sweaty too. Ralph said he didn't think Benjy looked that bad. He said his sneakers look awful though. He said they look medical. Benjy said Jon Hein looks like he had brain surgery with that hair. Jon said that's the pot calling the kettle... Howard said that Benjy is saying that Jon should shave his head or something. Benjy said he should wear a hat. Howard said he doesn't think that they're going to do anything differently.
King said the thing to do now is shave the top of your head and do a fade on the sides. He said that's what Jon could do.
Benjy said that Ronnie looks like he's dressed like a little boy. Ralph said Ronnie is good. He said everything cuts at the right place. He said he must get it tailored. King said no way. He said they call that Nordstrom Rack. Ralph said there's nothing wrong with that. Howard said the guys looked it up and found that King's shirt is on sale for $48 online. King said that's on sale. Gary said King looks like he lost weight in the front but not on his back. Howard said he's going to calm everyone down now. Ronnie said King can't take it. Benjy started screaming so Howard said they have to get him out of there now.
Howard said Richard and Sal want to come in to get critiqued by King. They came in naked. Richard asked what he thinks of his penis. King said this shit is crazy. He said they look like clay. Howard said Richard's penis looks extras small today. Richard said he needs to shave his pubes. Howard asked King what he has to say about them. King said they're not fat. He said that when they put on their socks they have to turn the gold the right way. Gary said that Sal has a scar on his ass. Sal said he had a melanoma. He had a scar on his ass from having that removed. Howard said his foreskin is hanging really low too. Howard asked Ralph what he thinks about that. Ralph said he's never seen them naked like this before. He said it's really disturbing. He said Richard is trying to chub up. Sal said he thinks Ralph is going back to pussy after this. Ralph said Sal has to shave that patch on his back. He said his balls are big and that's nice. He said he thinks Sal is trying to chub up too. Howard asked if Richard is chubbing up. Richard said he's trying to. Sal asked what Robin thinks. Robin said she thinks nothing. She said that his foreskin is growing. She said soon it'll be dusting the floor. Howard said it looks like someone stepped on his penis and part of it died.
Howard said it seems like his cock is wearing a stocking cap. Howard asked Rahsaan what he thinks about this. Rahsaan said that this is the first time he's seen them naked and it's shocking. Howard said he's seen it a million times and it's shocking every time.
Ralph said Richard looks like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Howard said he has to get this on the new app tonight. He said Richard is tucking his balls and it looks really weird.
Howard went over the scores everyone got. He said they acted out what King has been asking to do for years. King said he was surprised at Gary today. He said he's right up there with ''us.'' King said there's someone in the back who is in all black and he looks sharp. Howard asked if anyone is going to change over this. King said he smells something. Howard asked if he has something in his ass. Sal said he smells it and it must have been King. King said it's not him. Jason said it wasn't him. Sal said he just hit Richard in the face with his cock. Sal said Gary's mouth is open, he just figured it out.
Howard asked if anyone is going to change after this. Jason said he was looking Howard to this. He said he don't put any thought into this stuff. He said he will go look for more fitted stuff and he will shave.
Howard asked everyone else if they'll change. No one was saying they would. Howard asked Rahsaan if he will use Vaseline. Rahsaan said he's going to keep using lotion. Howard said don't trip on Sal's foreskin when you leave the studio. Richard said he got hit in the eye with that foreskin.
King said he sells male enhancement pills. He said it's called The Beast. He said what it does is makes you horny and harder. Howard said he can smell the smell in there now. He asked if Richard shit himself. Richard said he didn't. Howard said it has to be one of the naked guys. He said it didn't happen until they came in there. Howard asked if Richard shit and didn't shower. Richard said he did. He said he didn't shower since Saturday. Howard said he stinks. Richard had Sal smell him. Sal said he has pimples all over his ass. He said that it's terrible over there. Howard told Ralph to go smell him. Howard said he has to go shower. Richard said he'll go wash up. Ralph said he can't fathom not showering after shitting. Howard asked if he just uses paper. Richard said he does. He said he wipes real good. Howard said then he doesn't shower for 3 or 4 days. Richard said he showers if he runs.
Howard said they found the smoking gun. Richard said it's the smoking asshole. Sal said last week Richard blew his nose inside his shirt. Howard said he's going to throw up from the smell. Robin said she's glad she's not in there. Jason said Richard is all worried about getting his kid sick but he won't shower himself.
Howard said he has to get these guys out of there. Richard said he learned he has to shave and he has to take a shower. Ralph said he can't take it in there. Richard said he doesn't think it's coming from him. Howard said he got the smell over there. He said that if you don't shower it gets smelly back there. Robin said you don't come off the track and now shower. Sal said that's why his ass is all rashy. Howard said he has to wash that ass.
King said he has a song that he sent to them. Howard said if he sniffs Richard's ass he'll play it. King said no way. Howard said he should do it. Howard asked how many times Richard has defecated since his last shower. Richard said maybe 4 or 5 times. King asked if he had sex with his wife. Richard said no. He said he's always clean when he's with his wife. Howard said he must have fucked her once. Richard said no. Howard asked if he ran yesterday. Richard said he did. He ran this morning too. He hasn't showered since Saturday though. He said he showered after his run on Saturday.
King got in a plug for his stuff and said you can get it at YouCanBeABeast.com. King said he used it last night. He said she gave him a 69 right off the plane from Puerto Rico. Howard said she must have smelled like Richard. King said she smelled feminine. He said that's what he likes to call it. Howard wrapped up and thanked everyone who was involved in this thing today. They went to break after that.
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Howard said it's getting late in the morning so they have to move on. He said he has some flirty Gary stuff to play but that will have to wait.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that was some segment they just did. He asked if it's going to be on Howard 360. Howard asked if he has the app. Balls said he does. He asked if they can have a bra show so they can see King's titties next time. Howard said they'll have to see.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how they stay in that studio when that guy is stinking like that. The caller said even inmates wash every day. He said he's a former corrections officer so he knows. He said he's not sure why he can't just wash his ass every day. Howard said it's baffling.
Howard said he doesn't understand Richard. Robin said he's been doing that a long time. Howard said he sometimes doesn't want to take a shower but it feels great when he does.
Howard said Sal's penis looked odd too. He wondered what people are going to think about that. Robin said he's been pulling and shoving things in there so long it had no choice. Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his George Takei voice talking about Sal's foreskin. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that he was in the bathroom. He said that's a nice song. He sang along with it for a short time. Howard said he can't listen to this because he starts thinking about dying. Robin said she read that Neil Young is taking himself off of Facebook so he can do some archiving. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that segment was the worst thing in the world. Howard said it's pretty funny when you see it. He told the caller to give it a try.
Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody from Eli Braden. Howard said he was watching American Idol and Ryan Seacrest announced they were given permission by the Prince estate to feature his music on the show. Howard said now the contestants can sing his music on the show. Howard said Prince would be flipping in his grave if he knew that. Howard said some of the kids were butchering his music on the show. He said he was obsessed with that. Howard said the person to sing Prince music is Prince.
Robin started her news congratulating the Women of Influence winners. Robin said she was there at the lunch when they gave out awards. Howard said he saw her at some women's thing. He wondered what the fuck she was doing. Robin said she's on the board of the charity. She said that was her event. Robin said Paul Williams was at the lunch. Howard said he didn't know he was still alive. Robin said he's the president of ASCAP. Howard said he used to love watching him on talk shows. Robin said he's 28 years sober and he can still crack a joke. Robin said he's managing and it's all about gratitude now. Robin spent a few more minutes talking about that.
Howard said he worries about Robin. He said he tells her to rest but she goes here and there. He said that she is triumphant after what she's been through. He said she should rest but she keeps doing this stuff.
Robin read a story about this keyless entry in cars and how you just have to have the key on you to get into the car. Robin said you just push a button to turn it on. Howard said that can't be bad. Robin said they say it is creating invisible clouds of death for people. Robin said that cars run so quietly that people forget to turn them off and leave them running and they end up dying from the Carbon Monoxide. Robin said that if you don't turn off the car it can still run. Howard said you should have the key on your. Robin said it should turn the car off if you get far enough away. Robin said she used to do that all the time when she had a hybrid car.
Robin read a story about Starbucks and how they had kicked out a couple of black men who hadn't made a purchase. Howard said he feels like he's going to get thrown out just based on what he looks like. He said now Starbucks is letting anyone use their bathrooms even if they don't make a purchase. Robin said that's what she was just going to mention. She said it's becoming more and more prevalent. Robin said there was a story about a black woman sleeping in a dorm common room and someone called the cops on her. She was a student though. Robin said you white people have to get it together.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks King of All Blacks is a jerk. He said he doesn't think he knows anything about fashion. Howard said ''You think?'' He said that's the beauty of having King in there. He said he thinks he knows about fashion. The caller said he's been listening to him since the early 70s and he loves the show. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard said on May 29th they're going to close all Starbucks so they can have racial sensitivity training. He had one of the guys in the back on the phone as the trainer for that.
Robin read a story about how a golf player called the police on some black women who were taking too long to play. Howard said he got thrown off a golf course for playing too slowly once too long.
Robin read a story about Bill Cosby and some awards that are being revoked. Robin said the Kennedy Center Honor was given to Cosby in 1998. Robin said that he got the Mark Twain prize in 2009. Both will be revoked.
Robin said that they had a strange conversation with Memet about music. Robin said they were talking about how female singers are just for women. Robin said they say that Beyonce is for women and Katy Perry is for men according to Spotify. Robin said they released a list of singers that women listen to more on the service than men do. Robin said that there are women that guys listen to like Katy Perry, Lorde, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and others. Howard said it sounds like the same list. Robin said it does. She said there are women who perform and are greatly loved by women but they are loved by men too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said one caller mentioned King of All Blacks earlier and... Howard cut him off and asked what else he has to say. The caller asked if he thinks he could have taken better care of the Iron Man costume that was stolen from storage. Howard said he would imagine there are a ton of them out there. The caller said that this was the one from the original Iron Man movie. Howard let the caller go and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about women's groups trying to shun R. Kelly. Now Spotify is going to stop promoting his music on their service. Howard said he's not sure how he feels about that. He said he has to think about it. He said there are people who have done weird shit and they don't ban it. Robin said it's not banned but it won't be on any playlists. Howard said that's okay. He said he doesn't really care though. He said he doesn't know his music. Robin said they went through this recently and he did know one of his songs.
Robin read a story about the #TimesUp protest and how there was a big thing at Cannes and Salma Hayek was saying it's about time they've had equality. She said men should take a pay cut. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Howard said how about the women getting a raise instead of giving pay cuts to the men. Robin said she's saying maybe men should take the cut so they can make things more equal. Howard said he isn't going there. He said other people that's fine for. Robin said that Mark Wahlberg was in the movie ''All the Money in the World'' and he got paid a lot of money to be in it. She said he wasn't the star of the movie. Robin said Michelle Williams isn't getting paid what she should get paid for being the star of the movie. Robin said no one went to see the movie because of Mark Wahlberg. Howard said they see it differently. Robin said that this wasn't the type of movie that people are going to see Mark Wahlberg in. Howard said no one saw the movie either way. Howard said the producer may have thought he would bring people in. Robin said everyone knows he's not going to bring people in for this type of movie.
Robin read a story about the reboot of the movie The Karate Kid. Gary said that the show is really good. He said that it's called Cobra Kai. He said it's really good. Howard asked how he got to see it. Gary said it's on YouTube Red. He said they're like a Hulu or Netflix. Howard asked how he does that. Gary said you go to YouTube Red and you can watch the first one free. Howard said Gary watches everything. Gary said they had the guys who created it on the Wrap Up Show and Ralph Macchio is going to be on the Wrap Up Show in the next week or so. Howard asked why he's not included in seeing this stuff. Gary said he doesn't know what his likes are. Howard said Gary knows he likes movies. Howard said he loved Karate Kid. Gary said he'll have it for him in an hour. Howard asked what else he doesn't tell him about. Gary said this was just because they had the guys on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said Gary should know better by now. He said he's worked for him for like 30 years. Gary said that Steve got it and Jon Hein got it too. Howard said he can't believe that Steve gets it and he doesn't. He said he can't believe it. He said you'd think that it was the Gary Dell'Abate show. Howard said he's seeing that it's actually 10 episodes and not just one movie. Gary said he only saw the first episode. Howard did his Gary impression talking to himself about what Howard would like to see and not see.
Howard said he wants to talk to people at movie studios and media in general. Howard said just send it to him, not Gary. Howard said Gary said it was really good and he didn't tell him about it. Fred played some Baba Booey song parodies and clips while Howard was going off on him. Howard said just send him the list of things they get. Howard continued to yell at Gary for a few minutes about not giving him this stuff.
Howard asked Gary to think of him. He said Steve and Jon aren't thinking of him either. He said they must hate him for some reason. He did his Jon Hein impression too. He said cancel the Wrap Up Show forever. He said fuck these guys. He said they never think of him. He said they know he likes that kind of stuff.
Howard said you'd think Gary would send an email to Laura about that. Howard and Gary went back and forth about that for a short time. Howard asked why he would think of Jon Hein and not him. Gary said they sent him a link. Howard said think of him sometimes. Howard sang a song to Gary about how to think about his ''Bawf'' once in a while. He told Gary to take down that ''Slow down'' note he has up and write one that says ''Bawf'' on it. He said he should think about his Bawf more than he does. He said Gary should have called him at home and told him about the new Karate Kid remake. He did more of his Gary impression and goofed on him for a few minutes. He said if he was Gary he would have brought that stuff to him before he watched it himself. Robin said she didn't know this was YouTube's first show. Howard had Gary talking about how he invented a flying car so he can get him the Karate Kid stuff faster.
Howard said when Steve Brandano comes to him with a movie his first thought should be ''does Bawf want to watch it?'' instead of him thinking about watching it. Howard had Gary asking if he has ever seen the house he built for him. He said Gary goes home and kisses the ground that he built that house on. He said he named that house ''Howard Stern.'' He said sometimes he thinks that Steve Brandano has Largo on the mind and forgets to tell him about this stuff.
Robin said ''well that's the news...'' Howard was still going off on Gary about his home theater and his stools and how he's watching Cobra Kai there. Howard asked what the fuck. He said his biggest nightmare is that someone will invent something really cool and Gary and Steve will get them but he won't. He said they'll get flying suits or something. He was still doing his Gary voice talking about all of that. Howard said it's so stupid. He said they don't have to kiss ass but they have to think. He said they have to think about how they got in that position where they get new movies like this. He said they have to think about the guy who goes back in his office to pass out after the show. He asked what the difference is anyway. He said if you work for someone you might want to think about how you got it. He said he has to explain it to Gary later. He had Gary telling him that they got the next season of The Walking Dead and he didn't want to spoil it for him.
Howard asked when the Wrap Up Show became bigger than the Howard Stern Show. Gary asked if he wants the creators of the show on his show. Howard said no, he just wants to see the show.
Robin said what they did wrong was not listen to the Wrap Up Show. Howard said that's right. Robin had some audio of Ralph Macchio talking about this new show.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has been neck and neck with Gary with the shows they watch. She said that she's not sure how he keeps up with the shows. She said she's a stay at home mom and she has more time than Gary. She said he must stay up at night. Howard went back into his Gary impression and goofed on Gary some more.
Robin read a story about Christie Brinkley being seen out with Michael Avenatti. Howard said he saw that. He thought that Robin was going to be with him. Howard said Christie just pounced on the guy. Howard had Sour Gary on the phone but he didn't keep him on for long. Howard said he thought he was going to tell him more about the stuff that he had seen and didn't tell him about.
Robin read a story about the US embassy opening in Jerusalem. Robin had some details about that. Robin read about how ISIS is calling for Muslims to do Jihad on the United States. Robin had more details on that too. Robin said that has to do with the move to Jerusalem.
Howard had some audio of Gary talking about all of the TV shows he watches. He said this is why Gary unfriended him on Facebook. He said he doesn't want him knowing about all of this stuff. Robin asked how many hours he just threw away there. Howard said he has to keep up with the media.
Robin read a story about how Kevin Can Wait being canceled. Robin said Sal was just on the show. Howard said he must be a curse. Howard said Gary is so busy watching TV he forgets to tell him about shows. Howard spent a little more time goofing on Gary after that.
Robin said that Gotham was renewed for another season. It'll be the last though. Howard said it has to be. He said that kid is getting too old. Howard said he's always happy when shows get canceled. He said it frees up some time for Gary.
Robin read a story about someone in the White House saying ''he's dying anyway'' about John McCain. Robin said that one of the Trump aides said that. Howard said that's what Gary said about him when he got that screener. Robin said now people are looking for apologies. Robin said people still manage to say negative things about John McCain. Howard said he's a war hero. He said he's one of this country's best. Howard was still goofing on Gary. Robin read about how Lindsay Graham was talking about how Trump should apologize for what his aide said.
Robin read a story about graduation season coming up and how Queen Latifah is going to be giving a commencement speech. Howard said that his mother loves her. He did his mother's voice talking about what a talent she is. Robin said that Michael Keaton will also give a commencement address. Robin had some audio of Michael Keaton's speech for Howard to play. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how it's like flying a spaceship with all of the controls in front of him. He said he switched them all around to get with the times. He said his equipment was old and he knows he can stop running it himself but he likes being in control. He said he likes that. He said now he has to learn to fly a new plane and he's getting comfortable with it. He said it's been a couple of weeks now. He has no choice but to go right in and do it. He said the first day he wanted to go back to his old board. Now he's used to it.
Howard said he's bragging now. He said he loves doing it. Robin asked if he watches guys like that DJ who makes noises and all of that. Howard said he can't do that top 40 DJ stuff. He said he admires that. He applauds their expertise. He said they remind him of the toy monkeys that hit their knees with the cymbals. He said he'd like to go watch guys do that just to see it. He said it's very entertaining.
Howard asked what that guy's name is that he always talks about. Gary said it might be Broadway Bill Lee. Howard said that's it. He said Kid Kelly is another one he watches. He said that Bill Lee has a lot going on in his studio. Howard had some clips to play. He said it's not as fun to just listen to. He said you have to see it.
Howard asked how old that guy is. Robin asked why it's ''Broadway.'' Howard said he's not sure about that. He said some guy probably gave it to him at a station and now he's stuck with it. He said there were guys like Johnny Dark who got their names when they got into radio but that wasn't their real name. He said he knew a Johnny Dark and he'd call him Johnny even though it wasn't his real name. He said this guy had been to like 50 radio markets. He said he told him he was the original Johnny Dark from 1963. He said that was impressive.
Howard said these guys had a whole story. Howard played some Broadway Bill Lee clips. Howard said he couldn't even do what that guy just did. He said he was playing sound effects and making jokes and rhyming. He said he'd need like 10 guys to pull that off. Howard said that guy is relaxed on the video when you see it. Robin said he must have that poem written down. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said he thinks he made it up. Howard said the guy hit the post and all of that too.
Howard played another Bill Lee clip and did his own talk up. He said he was Amsterdam Howard Stern. Robin said he had a lot of rhyming going on in there. Howard tried to do his own talk up like Bill Lee. Howard had to have Fred play the song for him. Howard did his talk up and hit the post. He said that guy has a big smile on his face as he does it too. He said he's strutting around the studio like he just solved the problem between the Israelis and the Palestinians.
Howard played another Bill Lee talk up of an AC/DC song. Howard said he doesn't even know what he's talking about. He said he just gets his name in there and does those poems. Howard did his impression of that talk up with ''Highway to Hell'' talk up.
Howard said Fred has to start that one over from the beginning. Howard did the talk up again as a Bill Lee like DJ. Howard said even Fred wasn't able to do it with the sound effects. He said he played a drink pour over the start of the song.
Howard played another clip where Bill Lee talked up The Fixx ''One Thing Leads to Another.'' Howard did that one too. He said that guy is really relaxed. Howard said he must be in the radio hall of fame. Robin said he must have a lot of Marconi awards. Howard said he might have 5,000.
Howard said speaking of the radio hall of fame awards he was reading about the nominations. He said he hopes none of them lift a finger to get into this thing. He said he's in it and it's an embarrassment. He said it's all they have as radio guys though. He said some of the guys buy into it. He said he sees the list of guys and they're all good. He said how dare some fucker pass judgment on them.
Howard read the nominations and he said he felt bad for Kid Kelly because his wife was asking him to help get him in. Howard said she was asking him to help get him nominated and he was thinking about how there are no awards. He said it's in some guy's basement. He said he got an email from Kid Kelly's wife about that. He said she was encouraging him to put the word out there. He said his wife really wants it bad.
Howard read about the nominations for induction and said these people aren't even in it. Howard said Kid Kelly is no kid. Gary said all of the categories are voted on by the hall but the last two are voted on by fans. Howard said he doesn't understand this thing. He said he might need Gary's help on that. Howard read more of the letter from Kid Kelly's wife.
Howard read about the votes that are done by the public. He said they made it complicated. He said there's a music format and spoken word nomination. Howard said Broadway Bill Lee isn't in the hall of fame. Howard said he'd like to give him his slot. He said he'll give Robin's slot to him. Robin said that's fine.
Howard said he doesn't understand this. He read about the pubic vote. He said there will be votes by industry insiders. Howard said this is over complicated. He said that the ceremony is taking place in New York City later this year. He read the details and it was confusing to him.
Gary sent Brent in to talk about all of this. He said he seems to know who these people are. Brent told Howard about this guy Kraig Kitchen who was mentioned in the thing Howard was reading. Howard said that can't be the guy's real name. Brent said that they use to have to beg that guy to syndicate them when he was on Bubba's show. He said he would always say no. Howard said fuck that guy.
Howard asked if Brent can believe that Kid Kelly's wife sent him that letter. Brent said it must mean a lot to them. Howard made up some stuff the wife could have sent to him.
Howard said that Kraig Kitchen used to be the head of Glenn Beck's show. Howard said Kid Kelly's wife is begging him to help get into this hall of fame that's in someone's basement. Howard did his Kid Kelly's wife voice and talked about the reasons they want in. He made up a bunch of reasons she wants him in. He had her saying that Kid cries himself to sleep every night. She was saying that Kid has been buying a lot of rope and it's kind of nuts. Howard had her saying that he has developed habits like jarring his urine. Robin said this is a crazy letter. Howard had her saying that he cut the CBS call letters into his wrist and things like that.
Howard said he's trying to figure this thing out. He asked Brent about the categories and asked if they're in or not. Brent said they are not. Howard said this is so insulting to these guys. He said the guys he's reading about must be in. He read about some guys he doesn't know that well but he said they must be good to be on where they are on. He mentioned some guys in Detroit and Philly. Howard said he doesn't know them very well but if they're on in the morning they must be pretty good.
Howard said this Kraig Kitchen is the hand picked successor to the head of the radio hall of fame by the original guy who started it. Howard saw some other names on the list and said they should all be in there.
Howard said he'll give his place in the hall of fame to a bunch of these guys. He said that the radio hall of fame isn't even a place. Brent said it is now.
Howard was making up a letter from Jim Kerr's wife asking him to help get him into the hall of fame. Howard asked people to please don't write him. He said he can't help. Howard made up things that Jim Kerr's wife could ask him about to help get him into the radio hall of fame.
Howard said he should have his own hall of fame and just induct all of these people at once. Gary said he should because they're asking for $25 from everyone to get in. Brent said he got a picture of Howard's plaque there. Howard said they had to put him in but they tried to ignore him for years. Howard said take his post down. Brent said Robin is in the class of 2017 and she got in with Sean Hannity.
Howard made up more things Jim Kerr's wife could tell him about Jim to make him feel for him. He was making up stuff that Jim had wrong with him that would make him feel sorry. He had Brent cracking up.
Howard said they should call it Loserville instead of the hall of fame. He said he's embarrassed to be in it. Howard said the Rock hall of fame is really nice. He said they have all kinds of stuff there. He said they have Jimi Hendrix stuff. He said the guy who runs the hall of fame asked him to take a tour. He said he just wanted to be left alone. He said he doesn't even want to see that shit. He said he'd rather just listen to the music.
Howard did more of his Kid Kelly's wife impression and had her begging him to help get Kid in. Robin said that they had Howard to the rock hall of fame. She said it probably sells records when they have that. She asked what a radio hall of fame does for people. Howard did his Kid Kelly' wife voice and said she's just jealous. Brent said Robin is in so what did she get out of it. Robin said nothing.
Howard read about some of the nominations and saw that John Tesh was in there. Howard said he's for Kid Kelly in this one. Robin asked when John Tesh got into radio. Howard said he has a syndicated show of some sort. Robin said he hasn't been there as long as Kid Kelly. Howard said she's right about that.
Howard read some of the other nominations. Brent was talking about who he thinks should be in the hall of fame. He picked Jim Rome out of a list of guys in the other group Howard read about.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he should make Kid Kelly's wife work for it and make her smell Sal's balls or something. Howard said maybe they should have her come in and campaign for Kid. He said he can give her 5 minutes on the show. Robin said she told him when he has to do it. The caller said they should have John Tesh's wife come in to campaign for him too. Howard said that's Connie Sellecca. Howard said they could have all of the wives in. He said Dr. Laura Schlesinger is up too. Howard said if you're on NPR you shouldn't be nominated. He said that's like a podcast. He said she should be in just because she's been on so long. He said she's a douche bag but she should be on. He said for some reason there are idiots who keep listening to her. He said he wants to use the C-word about her but he'll hold back.
The caller asked if he has any games to play. Howard said he does but he has shit to get to. He said he can't do it.
Howard said Gary can tell Kid Kelly's wife she can come in and make her case. He said why not. He said she took the initiative and got in touch with him. He said Connie didn't do that for John Tesh. Howard said Kid Kelly's wife can do it. Howard went into his Connie Sellecca voice and had her telling him why John should be in the hall of fame. Howard had her saying that John crushes her pussy when he fucks her. Howard said that was some letter from John Tesh's wife. He said these are some series of letters.
Howard said he was watching American Idol and Katy Perry makes everything about herself when she judges. He said that she decided to wear something nice instead of looking like a clown when Carrie Underwood was on. He said that she was showing her belly button and she didn't have any belly rolls when she was sitting. He said she's in really good shape. He said she's kind of annoying but she's really hot. He said that's why he likes watching her.
Robin said that Orlando Bloom made some comments about her and they're not completely done. She said he said something about how there's just something about her and he was thunderstruck when he met her. Robin said he said he didn't know about her music but there's something about her that he keeps coming back to.
Howard said there are guys who have to be voted in by the radio insiders. Howard said he should have a vote in that. He said he would vote for Jim Kerr. He said he thought he listened to him when he was a kid. He said he must be like the same age as him and he just thinks he's older. Howard said the guy was on WPLJ and he must have been like 15 when he was listening to him.
Howard said all of these guys should be in the hall of fame. He said it would be great if Kid Kelly's wife came in to tell him all of this stuff. He said that's what she should have done. Howard said listen to Kid on Sirius Hits 1. He said he's good. Howard said he's not sure if he knows him. Brent said he might know him if he saw him out there. He said he was just talking to him the other day out there. He said Kid is very thankful that they're going to help him with this.
Howard said it's cooler not to be in these hall of fame things. He said he told Jon Bon Jovi that but Jon wanted to be in. He had Kid's wife asking him again to help out getting Kid into the hall of fame.
Howard mentioned Benjy and his night terrors and how he told Benjy to stop with them or he's out of there. He said they miraculously cleared up.
Howard was doing more of his Kid Kelly wife voice. He said he knows it's getting late so he has to get out of this. Howard said he has to make a big announcement after the break. He said that it's a good one. He said he thinks he's all for this. He said he loves this company. He said where would he have gone with no Sirius radio. Robin said he's be begging to get into the hall of fame. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard had Fred play a drum roll. He said that U2 is going to be playing at the Apollo theater for subscribers of SiriusXM. Howard said the band always plays big arenas so this is unusual for them. He said they will be playing for subscribers and they're going to give away a few tickets. He said that concert is on June 11th. He said you can find out how to win tickets on SiriusXM.com/U2.
Howard played a bunch of U2 songs in a mini concert. He was playing short clips of every song. He said look at him. Robin said he's like Kid Kelly.
Howard kept going with the songs and said they have a couple of tickets to give away. He said don't call now. He said they will have a contest to give them away.
Robin asked if JD could be one of those guys who puts on a Bjorn to carry the baby around. Howard said he imagines the wife telling JD what to do. He said JD wasn't taught how to do anything and he would not be a good dad. Howard asked JD how he thinks he'd be. JD said he can barely take care of himself. He said he's not sure how he'd have a kid. He said neither of them are looking to have a child any time soon. He said they're not thinking about it at all.
Wolfie said that as soon as they get married they're going to start thinking about it. He said it's inevitable. Howard said JD met Shuli's kid and he didn't know how to act in front of the 4 year old. He said that he was talking to her like an adult.
Howard said he loves JD but he has to get himself some help right now. He said the wife is going to be the one wearing the pants in that family. He said anyone can have a kid but JD would need some training there. JD said if it somehow happened he'd focus his energy on it. He said he's not looking to be a dad though. Howard said he could give him scenarios and see how he performs. He wasn't going to embarrass him but Wolfie and Robin said he should do it. JD said no.
Howard said he has what JD's baby would sound like. He had a clip of JD that the guys edited to make JD sound like a baby.
Gary said someone just gave him a scenario for him to use. He said that someone had an 8 year old come home asking about the N-word that she saw written down at school. Howard asked JD what he would tell her. JD said he would say it's a racial slur that's meant to hurt someone. Howard said that was pretty good. He said everyone thinks they can be the best father. He said he thought he'd be great. He said you have to be really in touch and human to be a good father. Wolfie said he will stay in the airport an extra hour to make sure the kids are asleep when he gets home. Howard thanked Wolfie for the call and then did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard said he has a couple of things to tell you. He said he thinks Margot Kidder was the best Lois Lane. He said when he saw the Superman movie with her and Christopher Reeve she was great. He said she died at 69. He said he remembers seeing her in Superman and she was the hottest. He said she was so good looking. He said she had that Irish kind of look that he liked. He said she was in Playboy and she looked great in that. He said she was sitting on a beach with those big titties. He said she was hot. He said he was turned on by her and she was good in those movies. He said you got why Superman was in love with her. He said the new Lois Lanes aren't as good. Robin said she agrees but for different reasons.
Howard said Margot Kidder was the best Lois Lane. He said she had a nice body, face, hair, titties and ass. He said that's why Superman wanted her. He said Superman had a whole thing about not falling for regular women. He said that Clark Kent knew that he could place her above all others. Robin said she turned back time for her. Howard said there was one shot of her in Playboy where they had sand on her ass sitting on a rock on a beach. He said Superman could have looked through her clothes and seen her bush but he was a gentleman.
Howard said you understood why Margot Kidder was such a minx. He said in Playboy she was sitting on the beach and she's sitting up so you can't see nip or fur burgerage. He said that she was a good looking woman. He said that just because you're good looking doesn't mean that you're going to be happy. Robin said looks do fade.
Howard said he should do the Flirty Gary thing or something before Snoop comes in. Howard said he has a bunch of clips to play too. He said he has a lot of stuff. He said Gary has been getting slammed a lot lately. He said someone threw a bad pitch the other day and Gary's pitch came up. He said that ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' has been getting a lot of play lately too. He said this is a representative in the Connecticut house mentioning it. Howard played the clip and Representative Buckbee did the ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said he thought that would die off but it's still going.
Howard said this is from a PGA tournament. He played a clip of someone yelling out ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' there. Howard said that was a lady yelling it out. He said they call her Lady Hein. He said that it's mostly guys who do it.
Howard said Mike the Miz let one out during a show that he was hosting. Howard played that clip and he let out a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said that's unbelievable.
Howard said in another clip someone mentioned it while playing highlights of a game. Robin said she likes what she's hearing.
Howard played another clip of a chef doing a segment on an news program in Baltimore. He gave a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' too. Howard said that was Chef Egg. He said if he teaches how to cook eggs that's great. He said his mother would always give him a lecture about how to cook eggs. Howard did his mother's voice telling him how to cook eggs. He said she was always so angry. Robin said Howard is angry too. Howard said he knows why he's angry but he's not sure what she was so angry about.
Howard played a clip of the guys calling a woman with the Flirty Gary pick up lines. They had Gary saying all kinds of goofy stuff to pick this woman up. The woman they called was cracking up and saying that she likes him.
Howard said next time they used them they called that Donna Corleone show. Howard said she hated Gary and thought he was too goofy. Howard played some of that call. They played a bunch of clips of Gary saying stuff that just pissed Donna off.
Howard said he's not sure how that went so wrong. He said it went well with the first lady. He said they made a call to a southern internet talk show with those clips. He said Gary hit a lot of walls with his lines. Howard played the clip of that phony phone call. They had Gary saying stuff that just pissed the host off. Howard said he couldn't figure out why he wasn't scoring in that one.
Howard said they thought he might do better with men but he did worse. Howard played a clip of Gary calling a show where the hosts were all dudes. He said he didn't do well. Howard played that clip and they had Gary using his lines but the guys were telling him to get the fuck off their show.
Howard said they did terrible with women and men. He said he is happy to announce that they have a new Flirty Gary call. He said they set up another dating profile for mature women. He said they found an 83 year old woman who was willing to speak with Gary. He said he'll just say that Flirty Gary got his groove on. Howard played the call the guys made to this 83 year old woman. Gary was telling her that she's so hot at 83. They had Gary asking where she was when Kennedy was shot. She said she was in Paris. They had Gary saying goofy pick up lines about older women. The woman said this is all a turn on for her. He said she has to meet him. She said she has never met anyone like that. They had Gary saying if she gets dementia she won't forget this horse dick. The woman was laughing at his lines and seemed to be into him. She told him to let him know when he's around.
Howard said how about that one. He said that was a home run. He said that might go beyond flirty. He said he blew the dust off that woman. He said next week he calls Rose McGowan. He said that should go over really well. Howard said that woman has emailed them 3 times since that call. He said that just shows you that the corny rap works on some people. He said she was in love with that. Robin said life's not over at 83. Howard said that character is so annoying.
Howard said that's awesome. He said it's a lot of fun. Robin said she liked it. Howard said it would be funny if she saw Gary's face and said she wasn't interested. Robin said she thinks that woman would take Gary for a ride. Howard said Robin wouldn't be into a guy with those lines. Robin said she would just hang up.
Howard said he has to take another break here. He did a live commercial read an went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he has Snoop Dogg coming in. He said he's in the building somewhere. He said he'll be up there soon.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to give him some adulation. He said he's been listening for years and he kind of shaped him and his generation. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard said he received word from the producer of the producer of the Fifty Shades movies and he said Robin thinks they didn't make any money. Howard said they've made over a billion for the franchise. Robin said she's very sorry for those people who saw it. Howard said he enjoys those movies. Robin said Howard has enjoyed a lot of things. Howard said he heard Robin didn't like the new Avengers. Robin said she didn't particularly like it. She said she thinks that you're supposed to say you like it.
Howard said people were talking about how much they liked King of All Blacks yesterday. He read some of the email about that. Howard said there were some negative emails about it. He read those too.
Howard said that Bobo got some feedback too. He read some of those. Howard said that the King stuff is like 50/50 now that he looks at it. He read more negative emails about King.
Howard read some email about Gary and his Karate Kid incident. Howard said he doesn't like losing his cool but he did yesterday. He said that was no act.
Howard said he got a lot of commentary about Bobo sending Memet porn. Robin said she found that disturbing. Howard said some people think it's homo erotic. Howard said some think it's just homo. Howard read some of the mail he got about Bobo and Memet. Howard said people are creeped out by Bobo sending porn. Robin said it is weird.
Howard said someone said that Memet and Bobo are a mess. Howard said someone said that Bobo is an ass clown. He said he's not sure what that means. He said he must be an ass and a clown. Howard said someone asked for more Bobo on the show. He had another one from a guy who said he should be on daily.
Howard asked if Snoop is there yet. Gary said they just need a few more minutes. Howard said that someone wrote in about the Mr. Softee theme that Fred has been playing for Memet. Howard said someone asked him not to get rid of it. Yesterday he told Fred to get rid of it. Howard said he forgot why he had the theme song for him. Robin said she had forgotten it too. Howard said people wrote in about how funny it is for him as a theme song.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves the new video component for Sirius. He said he just watched the Lady Gaga performance and it's great to see it and hear the audio. He said it's crystal clear. Howard said they will build and build on that. He said they'll have a whole library up there. He said he thinks that's the future of Sirius. He said they stared out as a radio company but now they're content providers. The caller asked if they will ever do it live with video. Howard said they'll see how it progresses.
Robin said she had an observation yesterday with King of All Blacks. She said she was rerunning it in her mind and she thinks he doesn't use the N-word unless he's there on the air. Robin said it doesn't roll off the tongue like it does for people who use it all the time. Robin said she doesn't think that's how he normally talks. She said she thinks it's all an act.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved that King of All Blacks and Rahsaan thing yesterday. He said they should do it more often. Howard said he liked when King asked if Rahsaan wears a backpack over his shoulder. He said he was asking him about a bunch of question about being black. Howard said he should have him in to quiz Rahsaan.
Howard said Snoop said the only man who ever out smoked him was Willie Nelson. Snoop said that stands up to this day. Howard said Willie just consumes so much weed. Snoop said he's able to do everything and smoke at high levels. Howard asked how he encountered him. Snoop said they were in Amsterdam on 4/20 together once. He said they had shows there and they were hanging out in his hotel room. Howard asked if Willie asked to meet him through his agent or something. Snoop said it was him wanting to meet Willie. He said Willie was accommodating. He said they have a great relationship. He said they planned to go on tour together. He said he played Dominoes with him and he beat his ass. He said he was smoking with him and he wasn't able to think and Willie beat him.
Snoop said just look at Willie and how he looks. He said he's living the life and he's looking good.
Howard said when he looks at Snoop's early life it's an amazing story. He said they know he was in a gang and all of that. He said they don't realize that he was the star athlete of his high school. He said he was a great basketball and football player. He said they wanted him to play basketball at a bunch of colleges. Howard said he ended up going to jail and never went to college. He said it was a coke rap that he got. Howard asked if he looks back on that and thinks about how he could have become a professional athlete. Snoop said if he had pushed himself he could have been but he wasn't pushing himself. He said he was more entertained with the money and things like that. He said it was the fast money. He said the sports required coaching and teaching. He said he was into the money. He said he's thankful for the way it happened. He said he's proud of what he's become. He said that he may not have been able to do what he has done if he had gone that way. He said he has been able to do many things in this career. Howard said maybe he would have had a couple of good years. He said he does wonder what it would have been like.
Howard said at 12 years old Snoop joined a gang. He said when you're exposed to that kind of lifestyle it's inevitable that your life isn't going to be the same. Snoop said they were a gang that was young and innocent. He said as time went on the neighborhood got guns and drugs and they got into the wrong hands. He said that they were challenged with being with someone who is scary or something who is down. He said that he was in the middle somewhere. He said that's how he learned to be who he is now.
Howard asked if he was officially in the gang. Snoop said he was looking at what the other guys were doing. He said as you get older you have to do something to prove yourself. He said it's not a joke after that. He said that it becomes if you're going to be scary or the down guy. He said you don't want to be that scary guy.
Howard asked if he was fearless. Snoop said he was always scared. He said that's how he survived. He said he feared everything. He said he had to figure out what to do and what not to do. He said he was scared to shoot back even though he had a gun on him.
Howard asked how old he was when he had his first gun. Snoop said he was 15-16. Howard asked if he knew how to fire it. He said they don't teach you. Snoop said it's on the job training. He said your aim isn't going to be right. He said you're just not used to it. He said you have to act professional. He said you're trying to impress the guys and that's what it's all about.
Howard said Snoop says getting shot isn't like in the movies. He said that you get shot and you didn't even know where it comes from. Snoop said he's been shot at but never shot. He said he's been next to people who were shot. He said that it just comes from nowhere. He said you don't even know where to shoot back. Howard said you have to become paranoid at that point. He said you're looking all around all the time if you're safe. Snoop said his mother kicked him out because he was bringing too much drama to her life. He said she told him he had to get out. He said he had just turned 17. Howard asked where he went. Snoop said he had a lady near this dope spot and she was using crack so she let him sty with her because he had crack. He said he got an automobile and he used to stay in that. He said then the car got towed away. He said that he had nothing at that point.
Howard asked if his mother ever asked what he was doing. Snoop said his mother was great. He said that his father wasn't around at the time. He said he's good with his father now though. He said that he respects his mother now for what she did. He said he looks back on it and sees that she was trying to give him tough love. He said parents now have to do that. He said kids are getting away with everything now. Howard said his father was a decorated Vietnam vet. He got a Purple Heart for that. Snoop said that he has told him that. He said his father would tell him about how the black guys were sent to the front lines and their life expectancy was like 16 seconds. He said they were getting shot at from the back and the front. He said they had friendly fire killing people. He said that you wonder why Muhammad Ali didn't wanted to go to the front line.
Howard said Muhammad Ali was the best protester. He said he was worried about his people getting killed. He said he got booed on the Mike Douglas show but he had balls of steel. He said he stood up for that.
Howard said Snoop's dad got shot 4 times. He asked if was all one time. Snoop said that it was two shots once and then they sent him back and he got shot 2 more times. Snoop said that the Vietnamese were telling the black guys that it wasn't their war and they should go home. He said it wasn't their war to fight.
Howard said Snoop ended up in jail at 18 years old. Snoop said he was selling coke and he sold some stuff and 20 minutes later the cops showed up. He said that the same mother fucker he sold dope to drove by and the guy was under cover. He said he had the marked money on him. He said he went to court and one of his homies told him to take a deal. He said the first deal was 8 months. He said that they said he'd have probation for 3 years after that. He said if he violated that he'd have 5 years. He said he had to walk a fine line for 3 years. Howard asked if jail was mind blowing. Snoop said they had him in with some Mexican gang member. He said that now it's worse. He said back then they didn't see eye to eye but now there's no contact with the blacks and Hispanics. He said you'll end up dead now if they put you in the same room.
Howard asked how he handled being in jail. Snoop said he had to be defensive. He said that you can run across someone who wants to test you. He said he had some incidents happen where the blacks and Hispanics were going to fight. He said that you can't just say you're not going to show up. He said you have to join in. He said then you have to deal with the whole race card.
Howard asked about Kanye making the statement about loving Trump and all of that. Howard asked if that goes down in prison. Snoop said they all have to be on the same side. He said that won't happen in there.
Howard said it's such a tough life. He said it's amazing he survived prison. Howard said he went to jail and some of the guys told him he should be a rapper. Howard said that was very nice of them to do that. Snoop said that's why he's been so successful. He said he didn't see it in himself. He said that when someone sees something in you and they can tap into it it's magical.
Howard asked if he kept a journal in there. Snoop said no. He said there were a lot of rappers in prison. He said they had different guys in there who could rap.
Howard said it's funny when guys think they can rap. Snoop said back in the day you had to be good. Howard said it's an insult when everyone thinks they can be a rapper. Snoop said you'll get shot down if you think you're good and you're not. He said they'll tell you if you are good though.
Snoop said they had rap battles in prison. He said that everyone got along when that was going on. He said they had real judging going on.
Snoop said that was a good test for him. He said he was seeing if he could go pop by seeing if he could win over everyone. Howard said it must have been frustrating not to be able to get the chance to get a record deal back in the day. Howard said that back when Elvis was around he was appropriating that music and then he was sucking Nixon's dick. Snoop said they have control now and it's not as good as it used to be. He said that he's not sure if it's because they're in control or if it's just the times. He said now you just have a phone and you have a song and that's it.
Howard asked Snoop about getting out of prison and how Dr. Dre heard about him. He had just gotten out of prison. Snoop said he and Warren G are close and he knew Dre. He said that one day Warren G was at a bachelor party and Dre was there. He said Warren slapped in his cassette and everyone was rocking to his shit. He said Dre asked who that was. Howard said he must be forever indebted to Warren G. Snoop said he recognized that. He said he wasn't making money and he was just sending out cassettes. He said they were turned down. He said he went back to his dope spot and got his raps that he was writing down. He said he went to throw them out and Warren took them all out of the trash and gave them back to him and told him not to quit.
Howard asked where he got the music to do the cassette. Snoop said there were a bunch of DJs who he got his music from. He said he was getting music from guys who didn't do it in the studio. He said they were doing it in closets and stuff. He said there were no studios back then. Howard said Dr. Dre must have had a studio. Snoop said that it was at his house in Calabasas at first. He said he just had equipment in his house. He said that they would go there to make music and sleep on the floor.
Howard said Snoop was nowhere at the time. He said that this is legendary. He said he could have ended up back in jail and died in there. Howard said that Snoop hung up on Dre when he called him. He didn't believe that it was him. Snoop said that he didn't think it was him and he hung up. He said there was no way that was Dre. He said Warren told him it was really him. He said Dre asked him what he was doing on Thursday. He said he wasn't doing shit. He said he was nervous when he went out there to his house. He said he had the DOC in there and the DOC was giving him a look. He said Dre gave him a beat to rap over. He said that he was watching him moving and he just got it down in one shot. Snoop said when he was doing his thing that was it. He said it just worked the first time.
Howard said it's like he had this one shot to do it and it worked. He said that must have been a pressure situation. Snoop said it was. Howard asked if he started creating on the spot. Snoop said he did a song that he had heard on that cassette. He said that he asked him to do it over a different beat. He said that years later he saw an interview Dre did where he said Snoop was so controlled and relaxed.
Howard asked how he got so relaxed. He said it has to be tough to be so relaxed. Snoop said he just had that voice. He said he could never be like Chuck D. He said he couldn't get there. He said he had to find his style. He said certain rappers influenced him. Howard said he was the first guy who was ever that relaxed. Howard said Snoop is like some dude who just smoked a lot of weed and doesn't care a bit. Snoop laughed and said it sounds like he's describing Snoop Dogg.
Howard said Dr. Dre was coming out with his first solo album and he put Snoop on it. He played some of his song ''Deep Cover'' and asked about if that takes him back there. Snoop said it does. Howard said he heard that they were playing his song in a club and Snoop tried to get in there and they kicked him out because they didn't know who he was. Snoop said they told the body guard he didn't give a fuck about him or that song. He said welcome to Hollywood.
Howard asked if there was a lot of jealousy in the neighborhood. He said there must have been guys who can't deal with someone's good fortune. Snoop said you always get hate. Howard asked if that freaked him out. Snoop said it did when it came from people he thought loved him. He said it was shocking and mind boggling. He said it made him stronger though. He said this is a business.
Howard said that Dr. Dre put this album out and it was a big hit. He played some of ''Nuthing But a G Thang'' and let that play for a short time. Howard said that's so good. He said that's Snoop doing things for Dre. He asked if he told him he wanted to do his own thing. Snoop said he wrote that song in jail. He said the first verse was in jail. He said he had violated his probation when he took some Codeine when he had a toothache. He said he didn't go to the penitentiary though. He said his probation officer didn't send him because he knew it was just Codeine.
Snoop said that Dre had him listen to a track and he had him rap to that. He said he gave him some advice on how to slow it down and that's how they worked it out. Howard said Dre must have saved his life. Snoop said he straightened up after he got out again. He said that he never got in trouble again. He said he had to do it for Dre.
Howard said Snoop knew to get out of the drug thing because he had something good going on. Snoop said he knew that what he was doing had a bright ending at it. He said it wasn't a dark ending.
Howard said Snoop looked at an old picture of a sports team he was on. Snoop said there were about 28 people in the picture and about 18 of them were in jail and 10 were doing okay. He said that the coaches were doing their best to get them out of that life. He said that the kids were going home and not getting a good follow up with the parents. Snoop said that he looked up to the coaches like a father figure. Snoop said he went on to be a coach and he's helping to guide kids now. Snoop said his son got a scholarship and he ended up saying he wanted to do things for himself. He said that he stuck with school but he stopped with the scholarship because he didn't want to do it for his father. He wanted to do it for himself.
Howard asked if he was proud of his son for saying he wanted to do it for himself. Snoop said he was disappointed in the beginning. He said he worked so hard and he could have gone to the NFL. He said then he had to say he picked his path and he is who he is. He said he had to make that decision too and he's glad he chose to be Snoop Dogg. Snoop said he had a great mama and that's why he made these decisions. He said he spent some summers with his dad.
Howard asked if his kids were embarrassed by him or was he a cool dad. Snoop said he was always able to do stuff that got him attention from the other kids. Snoop said he was just cool as fuck and he never told the kids not to call him Snoop Dogg or anything like that.
Howard said that his song ''Who Am I'' must be his best known song. He played some of it and said it sold more than 5 million copies. He said that's pretty crazy. Snoop said he was in the car with Dre one day and he put in a cassette to listen to. He said the song ''Atomic Dog'' the George Clinton song came on and he started to sing that song. He said Dre said that shit hard. He knew it was a song. He said Dre knew what to put on a record. He said if he said something funny he'd tell him to go do that shit. He said he was tapping into a bunch of shit.
Howard said his favorite song is ''Gin and Juice.'' He played some of that song and Snoop sang along with it. Howard said this is his favorite song. Howard said that Snoop knows that song. He said he must have performed it a lot. Snoop said he must have done it at least twice.
Howard said Snoop liked gin and juice so much he made a song about it. Snoop said he has a nice understanding with Tanqueray right now. He said that's his new Gin and Juice.
Howard asked Snoop about people saying that Jay Z is the best rapper of all time. Snoop said he doesn't look at these guys like competition. He said they're just peers. He said he's been inspired by these guys. Howard asked who the best rapper is. Snoop said he would say Slick Rick, Raquim or Ice Cube. He said LL Cool J too. He said that he should slap himself for not saying that.
Howard said he thinks that Tupac got his break from Snoop. Snoop said he was already in it and making records before him. He said he came out in like 91. He said he came out with his in 1992. He said he was at a rap party and there was some rapping going on and he and Tupac ended up becoming friends. He said that they smoked weed together up there. He said that Tupac taught him how to make a blunt. He said he was smoking joints before that.
Howard said he wishes he could smoke weed. He said the whole thing about it is great but he can't do it. Snoop said there are so many relationships that he's bridged with weed. He said when you get high it makes relationships. He said you can ruin relationships with alcohol. He said that you don't argue on weed.
Snoop said that he got a giant laser disc from Tupac and he watched his movie Juice. He said he was a good rapper but he was a great actor. Howard said he was a good looking dude too. Howard said Jada Pinkett Smith knew him and he thinks that she dated him. Robin said they were just friends. Howard said that guy got a ton of pussy. Snoop said one time before he was on Death Row Records he was in New York doing Saturday Night Live and Tupac called him asking where he was. He said it was hard getting weed there. He said Tupac came over to Saturday Night Live and he pulls up with Madonna to bring him weed. He said she was in the car with her. He said that Madonna came up and looked at him and he realized who it was. He said that Tupac was just showing that he was elevated in the game. He said she was just riding along for the ride. Howard said what a man to bring her along.
Howard asked what it was like inducting Tupac into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He asked if it was an honor to do that. Snoop said it was. He said he wanted him to do it in a way that he'd be proud of.
Howard asked Snoop about being eligible for the hall of fame. He asked if he's been contacted about that. Snoop said he won't go in before LL Cool J. He said if they don't put others he's a fan of before him he will refuse to go. He said that there are others who inspired him to be who he is and he won't go in before them.
Howard said Snoop went to see Tupac in the hospital when he was dying. He asked if he was aware that he was there. Snoop said there was no connection other than their spirits connecting. He said they all knew the end was near. He said he had a one on one with him and he had clarity with him and he thinks he got that understanding.
Howard asked if he could have been with him when he was shot. Snoop said there were some scenarios that kept him from being out there. Snoop said he was there in New York doing an interview and he was in a battle with Tupac. He said he wanted to do an album with him. He said they went their own way after he had sided with his enemy and Tupac didn't talk to him after that. He said he didn't see him until that day in the hospital.
Howard asked Snoop about his song ''Drop It Like It's Hot''. Snoop said that was his only number 1 hit. He said it took him 20 years to go number one. He said that Pharrell is a bad mother fucker. He said he works different than Dre. He said Dre is a perfectionist. He said Pharrell is a free for all kind of guy. He said they sit in the studio and he's coming up with this shit behind him. He said he lets the music just loop and he comes up with this stuff. He said that he had him do the first verse and then he does his thing. Snoop said that he had him do the third verse again and he had to scratch that and come up with a whole new one. Howard asked if he questions that. Snoop said no. He said he's coachable.
Howard said listen to this. He played his song ''Beautiful'' and said that was another Pharrell song. He asked if he knows that's going to be a hit. Snoop said you never know if they're going to be a hit. He said you think they're going to love it and then no one loves it. Howard said he did one with Katy Perry and he was kind of giving her street credibility. He said that has to be a big decision. Snoop said it's a gigantic decision. He said that when she asked he was bigger than him. He said now she's way up there. He said that he thinks he gave her the rub. He said sometimes you have to spray love to get love. He said she called him personally and asked him to do this song she needed him on. He said she was tired of hearing the New York songs with Alicia Keys and Jay Z. He said she was gangster for thinking that way. Howard played some of the song he was talking about which was ''California Gurls.''
Howard asked if he did that in the studio with her. Snoop said she called him to go to the studio. He said he was baked as a mother fucker. He said it was a shrine and it was a dick shrine. He said she had a statue of a dick right here. He said that she said this was for him and told him he was the king.
Howard asked if she gave him direction or did he just do his thing. Snoop said he did one take and did his own thing. He said she played the song from top to bottom and there was a blank spot where she wanted him to put his thing.
Howard asked if this was a favor or did he get paid. Snoop said favor my ass. He said that they pay. He said that they are combining their audiences and fan bases. Howard asked if he ever toured with her. Snoop said they just did award shows together.
Howard asked Snoop about becoming Snoop Lion. He said he went into the studio with Eddie Murphy. He said his mind is filed with questions about that. Howard said he changed his name to Snoop Lion. He said he can't change his name. He said that he and Eddie did a reggae song together called ''Red Light.'' He had some of that song to play. Howard said Eddie can sing but he's a comedian and it's hard to take him seriously. Snoop said he was just happy to be in the same room with Eddie. He said he knew Rich James and he had done a song with Eddie. He said that Eddie played that for him and it was great. He said that Eddie must think about what to do with that stuff. Howard said Eddie is such a great comedian. He said he can't think of him doing anything else. Snoop said he got to work with him and it was so amazing. He said that happened out in L.A.
Snoop said he played him this record with him and Rick James. He said that was the shit. He said he played him some other stuff and then played ''Red Light.'' He said he started smoking and he got ready to do the song. Howard asked if Eddie was upset with him over that. Snoop said not at all. Howard asked if Eddie smokes. Snoop said he's not saying yes or no.
Howard asked about the Katy Perry thing again. Snoop said that she was naked in cotton candy on the set of that video shoot. He said that was something else.
Howard said that Snoop is also the host of Joker's Wild. Howard said he remembers that show from when he was younger. He said he dreamt of being a game show host. He said he wanted to be the host of Match Game or something like that. He said they were radio dudes who were announcers. He said even the Newlywed Game was like that. Howard said Snoop is now the host of Joker's Wild. Howard asked if he ever imagined he'd be doing that. Snoop said never in a million years. Howard asked how that came about. Snoop said he had been on Family Feud with Steve Harvey. Howard asked what the fuck he was thinking when he said this answer. He had a clip of Snoop giving the answer ''Pie in the...'' Horse. Snoop said he thought he said ''High in the...'' He said it's rapid fire. He said it's up against the clock. Howard said he could never do that. He said it's too fast.
Howard asked Snoop about how he got the job. Snoop said he had done that show and 25,000 Pyramid. He said he had done a few things like that. He said he was having so much fun doing the shows. He said he was high as fuck on all of them. Howard said it's amazing that he can function like that. Snoop said he had finished doing the game shows and told a friend in the business that he wanted to do it. He said he wanted to find a game to reboot to put his own twist on. He said she went and found Joker's Wild. He said that they found a great show runner and there you have it.
Howard said look at him. Snoop said he's hoping they pick up another 30 episodes. He said they do like 2 a day. He said he could do more than that but that's pushing the crew. Howard said they must think he can't be a game show host but then he proves them wrong.
Howard asked how real the Martha Stewart relationship is. Snoop said it's real. He said he was just tat her house recently. He said he ended up cooking some brownies with her. He said they did the Justin Bieber roast and he was smoking dope the whole time. He said she was getting second hand smoke and she was whacked out of her head. He said she was loose as a goose. He said she killed it. Snoop said that he wanted to do more with her and then they created the show. He said they got with the right people and came up with the show. Howard said that's weed connecting someone again. Snoop said there's a space between him and Howard and if he blazed up right now he'd have that bridge.
Howard asked Snoop about the state of weed now and if he can go into a store or does he get it on the street. Snoop said the street vendors aren't anything where they have the stores. He said it's becoming a business now.
Howard said he heard he's investing in weed now. Snoop said he is and they're part of the tech side of it as well as the flower side of it. He said even the creation of it all. Howard asked what there is in the pipeline for weed. Snoop said he thinks it's going to change sports. He said that it's going to help with curing a lot of things.
Howard said Snoop has a new gospel album called ''Snoop Dogg Presents Bible of Love.'' Howard asked about that and played some of the songs.
Howard asked about this white rapper chick who was dissing Snoop. He said it was a girl who was trying to get some street cred. Howard said she was with two black guys and he's wondering why anyone would ever diss him. Snoop said he saw that video and they were in the middle of the mentally challenged month and they were just showing that we have a problem to solve. Howard said he was very understanding about the whole thing. He said someone must have told them that they were out of their minds.
Howard said Snoop was a pimp and now he's on a game show. Snoop said they were all a part of his transformation. He said that every time he comes to New York they do bullshit interviews and he asked why they don't get him back on Howard Stern. He said he wanted to do Howard first and everyone else has to wait. Howard gave Snoop some plugs for The Joker's Wild and said that's on at 10pm on TBS.
Snoop thanked Howard for having that green room for him there. He said that he was smoking his Bubble Gum weed in there. Howard said all he knows is they were complaining about it on the floor above. He said Scott the Engineer is in a coma now over that.
Howard said he heard Snoop on the Erectile Dysfunction commercial this morning too. He said Snoop said it's not for him. He said he's not having a problem at all. Snoop said he stands tall for it all. Howard thanked him for coming in. Snoop said fuck cancer and he's glad that Robin survived the Ovarian cancer. He said she still looks great. He said she's lucky she's behind that glass or he'd come right over there. Howard said show her he has no erectile dysfunction problem. Snoop laughed. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard tried to do some rapping like Snoop and it wasn't working. He didn't have more than a line. Howard said he should have told Snoop about the time he tried to do a song with Pharrell. He said that didn't work out. He said he just isn't a singer. He said he wishes he could smoke weed like that too. He said he has no bridge like that. He said he loves that man Snoop Dogg. He said he's one of the best. He said they'll put that up on the TV thing. Robin said she heard Snoop was coming in and she smelled something out in the hall. She said she realized he was there.
Howard said he's a good man. He asked if Robin has any interest in smoking weed. Robin said no. Howard said he just knows himself too well. Robin said she spent a year smoking weed and nothing ever happened. She said one afternoon back in the 70s she looked at herself and wondered what happen do her over the last year. She said absolutely nothing happened so she stopped. She said some people can be very productive. She said she smoked in Amsterdam and she had two puffs and wasn't able to walk after.
Howard said he meant to ask about vaping with Snoop but he forgot. Robin said she's not sure what that is. Robin said she doesn't think he vapes. Howard said the thing with weed is that you inhale smoke and you are damaging your lungs. He said he talks to people and they say it doesn't fuck up your lungs but it has to. He said it's smoke. Robin said Snoop says it's good for everything.
Howard said he mentioned earlier they have that U2 concert coming up. He said he's going to have a few tickets to give away soon. He said they'll get into that later.
Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Howard said he likes the songs where they have Robin saying stuff. Robin said it's going to make her self conscious and she's going to stop saying certain things.
Howard said Robin did a song A Cappella and this is really good. He said that they have 10 tracks of her doing this song. Howard played the song that the guys put together with Robin singing ''Since You've Been Gone.'' Howard said that's Pentatontits instead of Pentatonix.
Howard said in honor of Snoop he has Carl on the phone who says he's been smoking weed all his life and he's very healthy. One of the guys in the back was calling in with his voice all messed up and coughing.
Robin started her news with a story about Oprah and how she might smoke marijuana according to Gayle. Robin said they say she meditates and she soaks in a tub and she occasionally enjoys a nice chill toke. Howard asked if she can get kicked out of the Oprah world for revealing something like that. Robin said she must be very careful about what she says. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read a story about Bill O'Reilly possibly going back to cable news. Robin said it's Newsmax TV. Howard said they must not give a shit about anything. He said anyone who was fired from FOX is getting hired there. Robin asked how they're going to shield themselves from these pay outs. Howard said they're not. He said he heard they want Bill and Eric Bowling. Howard said he's not sure what Eric did. Robin said there were some allegations. Robin said he had some down turns in his life. Howard said he's not sure if that guy likes him or not. He knows he used to watch him on The Five. Howard said this must be Bill Cosby's brainchild. Robin said she couldn't believe it. She said she won't be tuning in for that.
Robin read about support animals and how she doesn't think they're all real. Robin said they can't all be real. She said American Airlines is going to keep people from bringing their support goats on the plane. Robin said goats are out at American. Fred had some Goat Boy clips that he played. Robin mentioned some other animals that won't be allowed on the planes. Howard said Benjy had a support animal but he ate it. He said that's why he has big titties.
Robin read a story about Meghan Markle and her family and the royal wedding. Robin said she's fascinated by the Markle family. She said that she's marrying Prince Harry. Howard said Prince Harry is going down the check list for her and three days from the wedding her father is collaborating with the Paparazzi. Robin said the sister is writing a book and the brother is saying that she doesn't remember where she came from. Robin said the brother put a gun to his girlfriend's head. Gary said there's a great picture in the paper today that makes them look like the Beverly Hillbillies. He said none of them are invited to the wedding but they flew to London. Howard said he likes the dad. Robin said they're just going to be spectacles. She said people are going to want them to be embarrassing. Howard said imagine a prince wants to marry you and that's your family. He said you hit the jackpot and the prince asks to meet your family. Robin said she heard the father was supposed to walk her down the aisle but then they found out about the Paparazzi thing. Howard said she's hot. He said he wonders if the prince could get her if he wasn't prince. He thinks no.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he has a defense for the father. He said he thinks that he has some bad pictures out there and he's trying to come up with some good shots of himself so he calls the Paparazzi. Howard said there's no story like that. Howard hung up on Ralph in the middle of a sentence.
Robin read a story about Melania Trump getting an operation on her kidney yesterday. Robin said she was trying to think back about her and couldn't come up with anything about this kidney problem she's had. Robin said she must have been soldiering through it. Robin said they did this Embolization procedure on her kidney. Robin said they expect her to make a full recovery. Robin said they say it was a successful procedure. Howard asked who is watching Baron. Robin said no one cares. She said trump didn't even go to the hospital for the procedure. Howard said it's like when Will's kid fell out the window. She's fine so just stay at work. Howard said he thinks that everyone is wondering if Trump will stay with her if she has a scar from the operation. Robin said this woman is now flawed.
Robin read a story about how they could open up sports betting. Robin said that it will be available everywhere. Howard said he's all for that. Robin read a story about this thing called The Numbers. Howard said that was an illegal betting thing. Robin said that no longer exists because they have state lotteries. Howard said it's fine. Robin said now there will be legal sports betting.
Robin read a story about how blacks are arrested on low level pot charges more than 8 times the number of whites. Howard said that's right. He said that's what Cynthia Nixon was talking about with reparations for them. He said she didn't get it out right so she got into trouble over it. Robin had some audio of a police commissioner talking about that.
Robin read a story about the new embassy for the U.S. that is in Jerusalem and how it started protests. Robin said she's not sure why Trump would want to be president. He moved that embassy and that means people are going to die. Robin said more than 50 people died yesterday over it. Howard said he has a lot to say about that but he's worn out. He said he'll save it for tomorrow. Robin said people are screaming that America is the enemy of the Palestinians. Robin said that's how it goes no matter what you do. Robin said a couple of minsters went over there and she looked up one of these guys. Robin had some audio of this minister talking about Jews and Mormons saying they are heresy and wrong. Robin said this guy is advising Trump and he's over in Israel. Howard said the religious right has a hang up over Israel. Robin said you can not go to heaven if you're a Jew according to that minister. Robin had a few other clips of that guy bashing a bunch of religions. Howard said fuck him.
Robin read a story about the debate they had about the greatest rapper. Robin said some would say it's Childish Gambino who is also known as Donald Glover. Robin said his album is out now and he has a new single topping the charts. Robin said he's number 1 this week. Robin had some of the song for Howard to play. Howard said he likes Lil Tay. Robin had some Jim Jones songs for Howard to play since King of All Blacks mentioned him yesterday.
Robin read a story about the White House talking about the derogatory remark that an aide made about John McCain. Howard said the woman should just make an apology about it. Robin said she has not apologized yet. Robin had some audio of Raj Shah saying it has been dealt with internally. Robin said McCain has said he doesn't want President Trump at his funeral. Howard said he gets that. He said he has a list of people he doesn't want as his funeral too. He said sorry Fred. He said no Benjy either. He said he wants Robin to show up.
Robin read a story about how Prince memorabilia is on display this week before an auction. Robin had some of his music for Howard to play. She read about some of the stuff that's up for auction. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:40am.
Howard started the show talking about drinking his coffee and being shot out of a cannon. He said it's Dunkin' Donuts coffee. He said he has so much to do today. He took one more sip. Robin asked if he's gulping it. Howard said he is. He thanked her for keeping an eye on that. He said it's like 197,000 ounces. He said he told the guys to get him a bigger cup and it's big. He said he's addicted to it. He said shoot it up his ass like Robin used to do in the old days.
Howard said Gary told him that he's been in touch with Mrs. Kid Kelly and she wants to come in to make a case for getting him into the Radio Hall of Fame. Howard did his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice talking about why she wants Kid Kelly in the hall of fame.
Howard said there's a story about a golfer who got beat up by his wife for not doing well in a golf tournament. Howard said maybe Kid Kelly has to worry about that. He did more of his impression of Mrs. Kid Kelly talking about what he's done to deserve to be in the hall of fame. He did that for a few minutes.
Howard said she's going to come in. Robin said she's amazed. She wasn't sure she was going to accept that opportunity. Howard was still doing the voice talking about her husband not being in the hall of fame.
Howard said she's going to come in and make her case for all of you to vote him into the hall of fame. Howard said she wrote him a letter. He asked Jason to bring it in so he can read it again. Gary said he's printing it up again. Gary said she sent him 3 emails and she had air checks for them to play when she comes in. Howard said that's going to be the whole show today.
Howard did more of his impression of Mrs. Kid Kelly talking about how they've been shunned by Cousin Brucie.
Howard said Beth said they need a show to watch other than Housewives. He said there's a documentary about the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. He said they were trying to watch it and Beth fell asleep. He said he woke her up because he realized they shouldn't be watching TV, they should be banging. He said Beth wasn't watching it and she fell asleep. He said he's fascinated by that stuff though so he'll watch it on his own.
Gary came in and said Jason gave him the note that she sent originally. He said she sent him a note last night thanking them for what they did yesterday. Gary said he doesn't have the air checks yet.
Howard did more of his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice talking about why they have to get into the hall of fame. She said it's now or never. Howard asked if anyone has written in telling them not to vote him in.
Howard read some of the note Mrs. Kid Kelly sent to them about getting Kid Kelly into the hall of fame. Howard said this woman is amazing. He said Melania should have been doing this for Donald when he was running for President. Howard read the note in his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice.
Howard said he sees a woman on the phone saying don't talk about him again. Howard said she ruined it for him. He said he sees one person with a negative comment and he stops. He said he knows it was funny.
Howard took the call from the woman who said she wants to talk about Sal's performance on ''Kevin Can Wait.'' Howard said he's going back to the Kid Kelly stuff. He said he thinks the audience is digging it. He said he's not sure why he's listening to this fuck. Howard said fuck you. He said he hates everybody.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who Kid Kelly is. Howard said that's the whole point. He said that's why it's funny. The caller said he's going to vote for him. Howard said they're all going to vote for him. He said when she comes in they'll find out why she wants him in so bad. Gary said she'll be in on June 4th.
Howard did more of his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice and talked about how 4 Johnny Darks won't take their calls. She said Dr. Demento rang their bell and ran away.
Howard said he was going to read the letters but he won't bum you out. Robin told him to read the new letter. Howard read some of the letter she sent to Gary. She had the information on when the vote is and some info about the air checks. Howard said he has Broadway Bill Lee on the phone too. He took that call and fake Bill was talking up songs.
Gary said one of the air checks that she sent is 11 minutes long. Howard said he'll play it. He said if he can pull up the audio he'll listen to it. Gary said she said it's the clip that he saw that he mentioned. Howard did his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice talking to Kid Kelly about how Howard is doing it again on the air and how this is going to help get him voted in.
Howard said he has more in the email. He read about the vote and how many times you can vote. She sent along some air checks. Howard said you can vote from June 4th to the 18th. You can vote via email or phone number by text. The information was getting confusing. Howard said she has all of the info in there.
Howard read more and said he's already checked out on this email. He had the air check links in the email and she was telling him how they can use those. Howard said she was sending a video bio of Kid too. Howard said he's sending that to Robin. Robin said they're going all out with this. Mrs. Kid Kelly said this is a fan only vote. She said this is the only way he can get in there this year.
Howard said Mrs. Kid Kelly is Kathy Gilbert. He said that's how she signed it. He did more of his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice and asked people to give their votes to Kid. Howard said they're going to help out.
Howard said they'll explain the voting to you on the day she's in there. He said they'll rely on the audience to get Kid into the hall of fame. He said that she'll be in to talk about all of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his imitation of his wife are so funny but it shows how annoying she is and how they're going to vote for anyone but Kid Kelly. Howard said it's backfiring. He did more of his Mrs. Kid Kelly voice for a short time.
The caller said he has to give a shout out to Fred. He said he's a genius. He said he played a cow noise when Howard said someone was a big cow.
Howard said Fred has the Kid Kelly air check. He had him play some of that. Fred played the clip and they had Kid Kelly talking up a song on Z-100. Howard said he has such a fucking headache from that. He said look what's going on there. Fred had more of Kid taking calls and things like that.
Howard said this is from a video. He said he's talking calls and editing them for the next break. He said you're hearing behind the scenes stuff. He said he couldn't do that. He said this mother fucker should be in the hall of fame. He said it's not easy to take calls like that off the air. He said he didn't have any help doing that.
Howard had Fred play more of the audio. He said you know that it's good if you can't understand what they're saying. He said he made too much sense so that's why he can't do this shit. He played more of the audio of Kid doing his thing in the air check.
Howard asked Fred to play him a song so he can talk it up. He said he knows how to do it now that he heard that air check. He did a talk up like a top 40 DJ. He said he'd lose his mind from doing that.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him the bit's not funny and he should leave this Kid Kelly thing alone. Howard said that's it. He said he's leaving it alone. Howard said he feels like Ron Howard after this Han Solo movie. He said it's getting bad reviews. He said they seem to have forgotten all of the good movies he made. Robin asked if you can lose the ability to make a goo movie. Howard said he hasn't seen this Solo movie but it sounds like a piece of shit. He said times move on. He said it's like the Beatles. He said no one gives a shit now. He said it has to be the right age at the right time.
Howard said the movie actually has 73 percent positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. He said give the guy a break.
Howard took a call from a guy who called to say how great the Snoop interview was yesterday. He told him not to listen to the people about the Kid Kelly stuff. He said he's 27 and his parents got divorced and that Blink 182 song brings him to his knees. Howard said he was thinking about that song ''Stay Together for the Kids' and it's such a good song. He said Gary told him it's a song writing team and the guy who left the band wrote the songs and played guitar. He said now he's chasing UFOs and stuff. He said he was telling his friend Pat about it and maybe the UFOs are in the concerts so maybe he could perform there. Howard said he thought that was funny.
Howard said Gary heard from the band's management or something. Gary said he heard from the management of the guy who left the band. He said they say he has a legitimate organization for the search for aliens. He said that they told him about some ex-NSA guy who has agreed to work with him. Howard said that should be a hobby and not a job.
Gary said he heard from Blink's management and they want to come in and perform. Howard said they want the alien guy though. Gary said they're not performing together now. Howard said they need to do more of an investigation. Gary said he got an email from the guy who directed the video for that song. He said that was the second video that they shot. He said they shot a video on 9/11 and they had to scrap it because they had a house exploding in it. Howard said he wants to see that. Gary said he has a link. Howard said he really doesn't care that much.
Robin asked if they can get the guy who searches for aliens. Howard said he's sure he has time to come in. He said he probably has a Riley Martin piss jug. He said instead of writing great songs like that he's searching for aliens. Howard asked if Fred has the song cued up. Fred said he actually does. Howard had him play it and he talked it up like Kid Kelly.
Howard said that's being touched by god when you can write a song like that. He said fuck the aliens. Robin asked what he's going to do if he finds the aliens. Howard said he has to talk sense to this guy. He said he has to get back together with them and tour. Howard said they don't need him to help the aliens. He said if they come to this planet they're not going to need his help. He said the irony is that when they do come and meet the guy they'll kill him in 3 seconds by putting a hatchet in his head.
Howard listened to the song a little more and said this guy can write songs and now he's searching for aliens. He said think of the logic of this. He said he left the band so the aliens can suck his brain out when they do come here. Robin said even if they're peaceful, what's the point? Howard said right.
Fred played some Riley Martin audio clips and Howard had a conversation with them. Howard was asking Riley questions and Fred played Riley saying ''Huh?'' and clips lie that.
Gary said that he has some notes about Tom DeLonge and what he's up to. He said they say he didn't quit the group. He said that they say he was giving crazy interviews and he got involved in some kind of scandal. Howard said that's enough information on that. Gary said he has a second of three novels coming out too. Howard said it sounds like there's a rift in the band. He said he didn't quit the band.
Fred played some more Riley Martin clips. Howard was having a conversation with them again. Howard said he would have told Tom less tin foil and more guitar. He said he has to take a break. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard said for some reason they think Fred is less important than Gary. He said you've got to be kidding. He said that he'd miss Gary if he wasn't here but he can't do a show without Robin or Fred. Howard said Gary should be the cut off. He said they should give Fred tickets over Gary. Robin said Gary is out there schmoozing though. Howard said that's right. He said Gary must have convinced Scott Greenstein that he has to be there at those events.
Gary said he has done nothing wrong here. Howard said he's not making fun of him. He said he's complaining about Sirius not inviting Fred. Howard said Gary should be the one asking if Fred is invited. Howard said Gary gets everything there. He said he gets Cobra Kai and everything there. Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of Gary and Howard asked if he still puts the pen in his mouth. Fred said it does add a little bit to it.
Howard played a song that the guys put together with him doing his ''Bawf'' thing the other day. Howard said Fred is the cut off there. He said he doesn't get invited to this stuff. Fred said he was invited to the Eagles concert in Nashville on a Sunday night before they had work the next day. Howard said Gary is free. He just naps during the show.
Howard said his wife announced to him that she wants to go. Howard said he'd like to go too but he can't do it. He said the show will suffer on Tuesday morning if he goes. He said he'll be tired and cranky but some people like that. He said he'll end up yelling at everyone. He said poor Gary will get it that day.
Howard said this is a good Gary song. He said it's a duet between Daniel Mendelson and James Cargill. Howard played the song that the two did together.
Howard said that might be the best Baba Booey song he's ever heard. He said they got together and did that song and formed a super group. He said you can't fake that kind of chemistry. He said they've both been at this a long time and they teamed up for that duet.
Howard said Sirius blocked Fred from bringing his daughter to a One Direction concert. Fred said they did. He said he doesn't remember who he went to for that. Howard said Fred has to be respected a little bit around there. He said if Gary wanted to bring his kid to something they'd let him go. He said they have to let Fred do that kind of stuff. Howard asked if other Sirius people got to see One Direction. Fred said they lock it down up there when they have guests like that.
Howard said he wants management to know that Fred is very important there. He said he heard Fred went nuts when he heard he couldn't go. Fred said he did get angry. Howard said he can bother Robin with that stuff if he's not going to bother him. Fred and Howard did their Robin voices talking about that.
Howard said Robin will make it happen. He and Fred were still doing their Robin voices and talking about that stuff. Howard said they'll get that stuff straightened out. Fred said that the respect falls off quickly after Howard and Robin. He said it's Howard's show and they're the front people. Howard said they must think Fred is below Gary. He said that's kind of weird. Fred said he's kind of baffled by that. Howard said Fred hired Gary. He said he told him to interview Gary. Now he's moved ahead of Fred on freebies. Howard said he should have been able to go to One Direction. Fred said it would have been painful for him but glorious for his daughter. He said he never said a word to her about it.
Howard said he never asks for anything for himself but if it was for his kid he would. Fred said it's something special. He said it's a memory. Howard said Fred needs his wife to campaign for him like Kid Kelly's wife. Fred said she's a good loud mouth when she needs to be.
Howard said he likes Gary but the cut off should be below JD. He said get Richard and Sal in there too. He said all of his guys are important.
Howard said Gary has a photo of Frances on his desk that he's had for years. Gary said they sent for a car for Courtney Love once. He said Courtney sent the picture up there so Howard would think of her every day when he's talking about her. Gary said he opened up one picture and there was another one of Frances sitting on Santa's lap and that's what he keeps up there.
Howard said he doesn't know about that kid. He said that she's been through a lot. He said he's still not sure why Gary has that picture on his desk. He said it seems weird. Gary said he just keeps it in his office. He said he thinks it's odd that they even own it. Howard said he doesn't know Frances Bean and it would be impolite to keep her on his desk. He said he's not sure why it's on his desk. Gary said he can't explain it. He said he thought it was interesting to him. Gary said he likes having that story to tell when people ask about it. Howard said he's so odd. He said Gary has just moved up above Fred. He said he should get tickets. Fred played a song parody about Gary after that.
Howard did his Gary impression and talked about Frances Bean and his connection to Courteney Love. Howard told the story that Gary had told about how he got the photo. Howard said she's a 10 year old in that photo. He asked why he would keep that on his desk. Fred played another song parody about Gary to the tune of a Nirvana song. He had another one after that.
Howard said he has to get the fuck out. He said Gary has different oddities on his desk. He said he has an Oreo Barbie in his office. Howard asked why he has that. He asked what it is too. Gary said years ago they made this Barbie and it's black and they were taken off the market really quick when they realized it was a bad idea. Howard said that's enough of Baba Booey.
Howard took a call from a fake Sirius exec who said they're trying to figure out what Fred does. Howard said they usually invite Gary to a concert and leave Fred out of it. He asked what the thinking is there. The exec said Fred has a lot of odd things on his desk. Howard said Fred is actually working and that Gary stuff does him no good. Howard said Fred does a Ronnie impression and a Gary impression. The fake exec said they'll take that all under advisement.
Howard said speaking of Gary everyone thinks they have the right to make fun of him. He said whenever someone makes a bad pitch Gary gets hit on the head. He said that it was a no win proposition for Gary to do it. He said that he did it and screwed it up. He said if he threw a good one no one would care. He said he threw a bad one and it will never be forgotten.
Howard said there was a conversation about bad pitches that he has to play. He said that this guy talked about Baba Booey's pitch and 50 Cent's pitch. Howard said the best part of that is when the woman laughs at Gary's pitch. He said maybe Gary does deserve to go to U2 over Fred.
Howard said when someone murders someone they don't bring up Ted Bundy every time. He said they don't have to bring Gary up every time.
Howard said this guy from American Ninja Warrior had a bad pitch recently and they brought up Baba Booey's pitch. Howard said Gary is to bad pitches like Rock Hudson is to AIDS. He said it has to bother Gary. Robin said it's his favorite sport and he lives it and now it's an embarrassment. Howard said it's a black cloud on the Dell'Abate name.
Howard had another clip from ESPN where they bash Baba Booey over his pitch. He played that clip and they talked about the guy from American Ninja Warrior's pitch. Howard said that was Jason Fielder who said all of that. Gary said fuck you to that guy because he used a bunch of his Fafa Fooey and Mama Monkey type names.
Howard said he gives advice and no one listens to him. Robin asked if Gary thinks he should have listened to him. Howard said his Bawf was right. He played a Baba Booey song parody after that.
Howard said Jason Fielder is on the phone. He picked up and one of the guys in the back was doing his fake Jason Fielder voice telling Gary to go fuck himself. He said if he wants a war he's got it. Gary and fake Jason went at each other for a few seconds while the Baba Booey song parody was playing. They went to break after that.
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Howard said Beth's cousin was wondering how Dick is short for Richard. Howard said they say back in the day when people wrote letters by hand Rick somehow became Dick. He said it rhymed and that's the explanation they gave. Robin said that's a terrible explanation. Robin said she wondered how John became Jack. Howard said don't ask him. He said he's still wondering how Fred became Eric.
Howard said there was a woman on in the afternoon on MSNBC and she was giving very important political information. Howard said her name is Liz Plank and she's from VOX media.
Jason came in and said he knows who she is. He said things get more interesting when she comes on a show. Jason said she's from VOX which is a news network. He said she's a big feminist. Howard said she's fuckin' hot. Jason said they can't put her on enough shows. Jason said Katy Tur is another one. Howard said she's hot too. He said she does a trade off with Chuck Todd and he doesn't even flinch.
Howard said he heard Katy has huge boobs but she never shows them off. Jason said that they're huge. He said that once in a while she'll show them off. Jason said sometimes the conservative outfits are hotter. He said that her boobs were pressing out of a sweater once. Howard told Jason to go calm down.
JD came n and said he has some favorites. He said he thinks Mika is hot. He said he's not sure what it is. He said she looks good. He said Stephanie Ruhle is good too.
Howard said he was thinking about the story about Bill O'Reilly coming back to news with some news outlet they've never heard of. Howard said he wondered what the negotiation can be with him. Howard said he's in no position to negotiate a salary. He said they could give him $7 an hour. Howard said he claims he has some tape to clear himself and Trump but he won't release it.
Howard let Jason and JD go after taking a quick call from fake Jason in the back office. Howard said this Liz Plank is like a Playboy model. He said she has actual political information. He said it was distracting. He said they're good looking people.
Howard played a ''Good Looking Guy Radio'' bit that the guys did out on the street.
Howard took a call from Sour George Takei. Sour was talking about the hot male anchors he's into. Howard spent a minute talking to Sour George.
Howard said you can't call looking for work either. He played another clip of Richard calling in looking for work. They hung up on him again. Howard said that host must be a comedian. He said he had some delivery.
Howard said they don't want business enterprises calling the show. Howard said Richard called as a business and a business enterprise. They hung up on Richard when he tried to promote his business enterprise.
Howard said busting balls is so much fun. Robin said it is. She said she loves when it's this obvious too. Howard said personal dating ads are banned. They had Memet call in with a dating ad. Howard played that clip next. They had Memet giving his information and they hung right up on him. The hosts wanted to find out where they work so they can call their bosses. They took multiple calls from Memet.
Howard said they had no smart comeback for that one. He said how about they take away all the rules and let people call in with whatever the fuck they want. He asked who made these rules anyway? He said they don't want produce or plant materials being sold. Howard said guess what... He played Richard calling in with his produce and plant materials for sale. He had a bushel of corn and carrots. They hung right up on him.
Howard said imagine that poor guy. He said he probably worked top 40 and now he has these guys busting his balls.
Howard said there's an limit of 5 items or less to sell and only one phone number. He had Richard calling in with a ton of things to sell and 93 phone numbers to call about. They hung right up on Richard again.
Howard said that's some show. Robin said it sounds like they don't have a lot of fun with that. Howard said that's his worst nightmare. He said he imagined himself being mid-60s and taking calls from guys like that. He said thank god it worked out. He said he doesn't know what he was thinking going into radio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to thank him for entertaining him. He said he wanted to give him a compliment and Robin and Fred too. Howard said don't do that. He said just compliment him and maybe Robin.
Howard said as of today no more compliments for Fred. He said peace and love, peace and love. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has Andy Cohen coming in. He said he has a lot to talk to him about. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has Andy Cohen there. He said he's the star of Radio Andy on channel 102. He said he's also the host of Love Connection which is coming to FOX. Howard said he sees Andy out there at Sirius but he saves his conversations for when he's in the studio. Howard said when he's in the hall he's trying to get out of there. Andy said he gets that. He said he turns into a fan and he gets why he would run.
Howard said he has been named top gay on the show. Andy said the show has gotten gayer over the years. He said that everyone is inching toward gay. He said it's not even inching. He said he almost called in the day Jason Ellis was on the show. He said he felt it was very progressive and incredible to listen to. He said this was a straight guy who likes getting it up the butt from guys. He said he was amazed. Howard said he likes Jason Ellis. He said that he likes fucking guys and he thins his honesty is great. Robin said she wouldn't call him straight. Howard said he's bi.
Howard said he's not sure where to begin with Andy. He said he's still a fan of the Beverly Hills Housewives. Andy said that makes him happy. Howard asked if he's going to keep John Mellencamp's daughter on the show. Andy said he loves her. Howard asked if John is supporting her. Andy said that she's an accountability coach. He said she has like 250 clients and has a bunch of people working for her. He said her husband owns a home security company. He said John doesn't support her. He said he heard that John likes to watch the show with her on it. Howard said he should pull her aside and get her to get her dad on the show.
Howard said he's friendly with one of the women from one of the Housewives shows. He said he kind of likes them. He asked Andy about this one who everyone is afraid of. Howard said he'd level that one in a minute. Robin said she claims she has records that no one ever hears. Robin said she knows her from Dancing with the Stars though, not from watching Housewives.
Howard said Andy is the one who started the Real Housewives franchise. Andy said he was the head of programming at the time and this guy came with some video tape of these women and they developed this show. He said they had other shows in development too and once the Housewives show did well they turned some of the other shows into the Real Housewives shows. He said they were going to call the show ''The Real Housewives'' and someone came up with the idea of adding ''of Orange County'' and he thought it was a dumb idea. He said he didn't think they were going to do it anywhere else.
Howard said Andy thought it could turn into something. Andy said in the first years they never heard from the men. He said they kept that for a while. Howard asked if they coach these women and tell them they have to fight. Andy said they tell them if they're feeling something they have to say it. He said it can be in person or on camera.
Howard asked if the Housewives think they're big stars and they ask for big money. Andy said they are big stars. Howard said they're not getting paid big money. Andy said they're not getting Howard Stern money. He said the longer you've been on the more you get. Andy said that's how it works with any show.
Howard asked who the biggest pain in the ass is. Andy said they probably aren't there anymore if they were a pain in the ass. He said you have to be willing to share your life on the show. He said you have to invite the cameras in and not shut them out. He said that's the price of entry.
Howard asked Andy if he keeps a diary of his life and what goes on. Andy said he did put that stuff in his last two books.
Howard said that the shows have put Bravo on the map. Robin said that's what Bravo is. Andy said they're bringing Project Runway back too. Howard asked if Heidi can make good money from that. Andy said he thinks so. He said that they were on Lifetime for a while. He said Harvey Weinstein took it away from Bravo for a while.
Howard asked why Matthew Broderick doesn't go to the Met Gala with Sarah Jessica Parker. Andy said he never goes. He said he doesn't think it's fun for him. He said he has gone with Sarah instead of Matthew a bunch of times. Howard said it's like prom night for gay men and for women. Andy said Tom Brady was there in front of him. He said they all enjoy it.
Howard asked Andy how Sarah asks him to go. Howard said he thinks Sarah is a sexy woman but he doesn't get the head dress. Andy said she loves that head piece. Robin said maybe Matthew was inside that head dress.
Howard said it's smart to go to get attention but it might be the wrong attention. Andy said she's dressing to be on theme. He said she could probably speak about it more eloquently than he does. He said he had to bring her in this big Sprinter van. He said the dress was very big and the head dress was large too.
Howard asked if he was laughing in the car. Andy said he was loving it. He said he has a Dolce and Gabana outfit on. Howard said he remembers controversy with them years ago. He said they said some disparaging remarks about gay parents. Andy said he remembers that. He said they live in a world of outrage and they are on two sides of everything. He said what has happened to him is that he sat down with one of the Dolce guys. He said that he understood it more after that. He said he has his own views on that whole thing. He said there are bigger fish to fry in this world.
Howard said he admires Andy. He said that he had Snoop on the show yesterday. He said he builds his life on getting high. He said that Andy is smart because he eats edibles. Andy said he was stupid for mentioning that. He said that he had an edible. He said he sat down for dinner and had one. He said Sarah doesn't do any of that. He said that they had gotten in and he was there and ate it at the table. Howard asked who was at the table. Andy said that Emilia Clark was there. Howard said she's so uptight about getting naked now. Andy said Nick Jonas was at the table too. He said as much of a stoner as he is he's never been high on the air. He said he got called into the broadcast booth once after he had eaten one. He said that was because he forgot that he was going to go on the air.
Howard asked if he talked to Rihanna. Andy said he did. He said he didn't get high with her. He said she's so cool. He said she was one of the hosts and the hosts are there to shake your hand. He said that she was super friendly. He said they saw her two more times during the night.
Howard said Andy says that people would smoke in the bathrooms and stuff. He said they don't do that now. Andy said they cracked down on that this year. He said they kind of locked the bathrooms down from smoking. He said it happened and people were staying at their tables instead of going to the bathroom. Howard said that can kill a party.
Howard asked where he gets his edibles. Andy said where doesn't he get them from. He said he begs Sarah to take them but she won't do it. He said she's fun without it.
Andy said it's a nightmare at the Met Gala because he wont recognize someone who was on his show 2 weeks before. He said he's bad with faces.
Howard asked what Sarah does with her dress after the party is over. Andy said she is done and she won't go to any parties. He said that she goes home and he goes out with a bunch of friends like Jimmy Fallon. Andy said they wanted to get burgers and they went to this gay bar. He said he doesn't think that Jimmy had any clue what the place was. He said it was awesome going there because it was empty.
Howard said Andy claims there was a late night talk show host there who was very drunk. Howard said it wasn't Jimmy Fallon. Andy said it was someone who called into his show who brought that up. He said there was a talk show host there. He said he didn't say they were the most drunk. Howard said the only ones who were there were Stephen Colbert and James Corden. He said it must have been one of them. Andy said it was James who he was referring to. He said he wasn't blotto. He said he was just having a good time. Howard said he seems like a good guy. Andy said he is. Howard said he likes that guy. He said he's been on the show.
Howard asked Andy about his friends Bruce and Brian. Andy said they're some gay friends of his. Howard said one of them was with Carrie Fisher. Andy said he was. He said he doesn't talk to him about that though.
Howard asked how Jimmy Fallon can stay up so late at these events. Howard asked Andy if he has been late to his radio show before. Andy said he has. Howard said he's burning the candle at both ends. He said the older you get the tougher it is. He said he heard he's turning 50. Andy said he's feeling good about it. Howard said he looks good and he must be taking care of himself.
Howard said he heard that Madonna was going to perform at the show. Andy said he pushed Stephen Colbert to get to her. He said that he went to the stair case and Stephen came to him and said he just pushed him. Andy said he just heard Madonna was coming in and he had to do that. He asked Stephen what he expected him to do.
Howard asked why Madonna means so much to gay guys. Andy said that she was there for them at a time. Howard said she cares. Andy said she does.
Howard asked Andy if he was on a boat and it was sinking and Madonna and Barbra Streisand were on the boat, who would he save. Andy said he'd save Madonna. Robin asked if Cher was on the boat who would he save. Andy said he'd save Cher and hope that Madonna can swim.
Howard asked if James Corden pushed anyone out of the way to get to Madonna. Andy said he didn't.
Howard said he feels like he's getting better and better guests on his show lately. He said they have big news about the Love Connection coming back too.
Howard said he has to talk about this Kathy Griffin stuff. Howard said Andy is in a feud with Kathy. He said that she got fired by CNN after she did the photo with the Trump head in her hand. He said that Kathy was hurt that Anderson Cooper didn't stand up for her. He said that Andy got hired to be the New Years Eve guy. He said Kathy came on the show and blasted him. Andy said he heard about that. Howard said Andy was also her boss at Bravo. Andy said she calls him her boss but he really wasn't. He said he was in charge of programming. He said she went to the head of Bravo for everything.
Howard said things got ugly and Kathy said some things about him that he's going to play. Andy said that he didn't listen live for a reason. Howard said he's going to play this and it's going to be good. Howard played a clip of Kathy talking about Andy giving himself a show and how his ambitions outweigh his talent.
Andy said you can't green light your own show. He said that's not how it happened. Andy said he has told that story on this show. He said he had a web show he hosted on the Bravo web site. He said his boss asked him to do a show and he did a bunch of them on the network. He said then they said he could do his web show on TV. He said Bravo asked him to do it for cheap. He said it cost nothing to do and they picked it up for 12 weeks. He said he thought the ratings would suck but it did pretty good. He said they picked it up for another 12 weeks and moved it to 11 at night. He said they kept the show going. He said they were beating Chelsea Handler so they kept it going.
Howard said he clearly has talent. He said Kathy can't be right about that talent comment. Andy said that's her opinion and that's fine. He said it's subjective. He said that some people think Kathy is funny and some don't. He said that's not for him to say.
Howard played more of Kathy talking about working at Bravo and how Andy treated her there. She said she thinks that Andy doesn't have talent and he's not funny.
Andy said he wasn't in charge of picking up shows at Bravo. He said he was EVP of programming and development. He said if shows are doing well they get picked up. He said that Kathy never called him about her show. He said he only gave notes on her show ''My Life on the D List'' for the last 2 seasons. He said he was just trying to make her show better. He said Kathy actually reminds him of Trump. He said she makes shit up and she doesn't take responsibility for her own actions. He said her comedy is funny and she always has a list of enemies. He said she reminds him of Trump.
Andy said Kathy had her talk show and it didn't do well. He said they picked her show up for a second chance after the first season.
Howard asked if Anderson cooper should have stuck up for her. Andy said that's not for him to say. He said that he did talk to him about it but that's for him to say.
Howard said he has another clip of Kathy talking about him. He said this might be vicious. He played the clip for Andy and Kathy was talking about being fired from Bravo and she thought she helped build that network. She said she did like 15 specials there. She said she hates Andy and he's a talentless piece of shit. She said she has nothing to lose now.
Andy said that was something. He said she wasn't fired from Bravo. He said she had a show that was a late night talk show. He said it wasn't great. He said they aired it for two seasons. He said she did win the channel a lot of Emmys. He said he's not sure what to say. He said if he's the guy she needs to hate then find your bliss.
Howard said his CNN ratings were the highest that they've ever had on New Years Eve. Andy said that's true. Howard said he beat Kathy's ratings with Anderson Cooper. Howard said please welcome Kathy griffin now. Andy said that would be amazing. Andy said she hates him so what is he to do?
Howard said he has one more Kathy Griffin clip to play. He said he heard he offered her cocaine once. Andy said he doesn't like coke. He said he has taken Kathy to dinner and she doesn't drink or smoke pot. He said he wouldn't offer anyone anything before going on his show. He said if they're sober he wouldn't offer them a drink much less anything else. She said she just makes shit up like Trump. Howard said he would be shocked if he did offer anyone drugs before the show if he won't even do them.
Howard asked what this is about. Andy said he really doesn't know. He said that someone suggested that maybe he joked about getting her coke after she said she was tired or something. He said he really doesn't know what this is about. Howard said it's not the worst thing in the world.
Howard said he has this one last clip to play. He played the clip and Kathy said that Andy puts his ratings in with the Housewives ratings and that's how they look higher. Andy said he can't believe this is the conversation. He said in the early years they would air his show in prime time and they would kind of marry it to the Atlanta Housewives. He said that was to jump the ratings but they haven't done that for years. He said for about 3 and a half years they haven't done that.
Howard said this is like he's being accused of war crimes. Howard asked if this is being used to start a feud. Howard said he got the job and it's not his fault. Andy said that he can be that guy for her if she wants. He said he's just not going to take it on. He said he's at peace and he's not going to get into it. He said she was on his show a few times and she was very funny.
Howard asked what he would do if she called and apologized. Andy said he would have it out with her and then accept it. He said that he would want to get to the bottom of the coke thing. Robin said invite her on the show. Andy said he should.
Howard asked how he and Anderson Cooper are. Andy said they haven't talked about the New Years thing but they're good.
Howard said he didn't know he was dating someone for years and he broke up last summer. He said it's been a while since he was on the show and he didn't know this. Andy said he was close to being in love. Howard asked if he's capable of being in love. Andy said he is. Howard asked why he wasn't able to get to love. Andy said he doesn't want to discuss the other person. Howard said he's calling bullshit on this. Andy said he thinks part of him was in love. Howard said why stay with someone that long if you can't get to love. Andy said they were in different places. He said he was ready to go deeper and the guy was 20 years younger than him and starting his life. He said he doesn't think that guy was ready to go as deep as he was.
Howard said maybe he was too young and he knew there couldn't be a loving relationship. Andy said he knew it wasn't going to go any deeper than it was. He said he wasn't going to spend that much time with someone he can't love. Howard asked if Anderson met the guy. Andy said he did and he really liked the guy.
Howard said now Andy and Anderson are both single. Howard said they go on the road together and they do their shows together. Howard said he thinks they must have blown each other on the road. Andy said they have never. He said he is in love with Anderson as a friend. He said when you become close friends with someone you lose that element of sexuality. Howard said it depends on how hot the person is. He said that he wonders if there will be kismet between them. Andy said he thinks that ship has sailed. Howard asked if Anderson said he was interested in him if he'd want to fuck him in the ass just once. Andy said no. Howard said them blowing each other on New Years would be big ratings. Andy asked if he can imagine that. He said imagine he just starts blowing him. He said Anderson would never speak to him again. He said if he grabbed him and started kissing him he'd never talk to him again.
Andy asked if Howard would admit it if he dyed his hair. Howard said he would. He said look at the grey in his hair. Andy said it's not that much. Howard said his grandfather had dark hair in his 80s. He said he didn't get a lot of good genes but that hair is one thing He said imagine if he didn't have that hair. Andy said maybe he'd look like Michael Avenatti. Howard said that guy is on a roll.
Howard said that Love Connection is coming back. He said JD loves that show. Andy said he loves JD. Howard asked how his bromance is going to John Mayer. Andy said it's good. He said he has a new single out. Howard said he likes that guy. Andy said he would be so good on the show. Howard said he was at the birthday show.
Howard said Andy works there in the building. He said he has a controversy with Memet. Andy said they asked him to weigh in on the beauty contest with Steve and Memet. Howard said he picked Steve. Then he saw Memet in the halls there. Andy said that Memet asked why he eye fucks him in the halls. He said he feels that Memet gave him the stink eye out in the hall one day. He said that he realized it was because he put him at number 2. He said that he was trying not to eye fuck him in the hall. Howard said he thinks Memet has something going on in his mind with Andy.
Howard said Andy has weighed in on the Ronnie pegging thing. Andy said that he was once at a very fancy party and Madonna was standing there and he asked her how many guys have had a finger up their ass and how many want it. She said 100 percent. She said every guy likes a finger up their ass. Howard said they don't. Andy said he thinks if you're in touch with that area it doesn't make you gay. He said he doesn't think that Ronnie is thinking about having a dick up there. Howard said he doesn't ever think about taking anything up there. Robin said Ronnie is willing to try. Howard said he's open and honest about it.
Howard said the Love Connection show is working out with him. He said that the doesn't have to put a lot of time in it. Andy said they shot it over a week in L.A. He said they have 13 or 14 hours. He said it's so fun. He said they go on dates and rate each others looks and things like that.
Howard asked if he ever feels it's a bit much. Andy said he always brings it around so everyone is feeling okay. He said he will go give someone a hug occasionally. He said the show is so funny. Howard asked if anyone has found a true love connection. Andy said yes. He said there was a couple in the very first episode who are still together. He said there's another couple that has been together for 4 months.
Howard asked what his schedule is like for that show. Andy said he wears the same suit so they can mix and match things. He said he just goes in there and goes fishing with the couples. Howard asked when they're gong to have Trans Love Connection. Andy said maybe in season 3. He wondered if he would have Caitlyn on the show. He said he probably would. Gary said Caitlyn wanted to come on their show but they were on vacation both times she wanted to come in.
Howard said Andy has a show there and Sirius is upset with him for having political shows. Andy said they offered him to program his own channel and he has one political show that Jim Parsons hosts. He said that he thinks things are going great on his channel.
Howard asked when they're going to have little people eon Love Connection. Andy said he'd love to have them on. He said he wanted to have a spin off called Lil Love Connection.
Howard asked Andy if he would have little people. Andy said yes. Howard asked if he would have burn victim love connection. Andy said yes to that. He said yes to people with baby arm. He said they would not have Bill Cosby on. Howard asked if he would have OJ on. Andy said they might since it's FOX.
Howard asked if he would have slow adults on. Andy said they would. He said that he had Hanzi on. Howard asked if that's true. Andy said no but he wanted to bring up Hanzi. He said that Tan Mom's alter-ego is great. Howard said that's Tanner Mom. He said Shuli does Tanner Mom. Andy said he loved when Eric the Actor called in as Derek from Texas.
Howard said Andy is on fire. Andy said he loves Howard. Andy asked whose side he's on in the Kathy Griffin thing. Howard said he's on Kathy's side. He was joking and said that he's not on anyone's side. He said that Andy did nothing wrong to her.
Howard asked if he has had sex with any couples lately. Andy said he has not. He said that he invites anyone who listens to the show to DM him dick pics on Instagram.
Howard wrapped up with Andy and gave him some plugs for Love Connection. Howard said it's returning on May 29th. Howard gave him some plugs for his radio show and all of that too. Howard said he always loves seeing him. Andy asked what kind of watch that is. Howard said it's a Panerai he's had for years. Howard wrapped up and let Andy go a short time later.
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Howard said he watches the show in the bathroom. He said that he wasn't even understanding what she was saying. He said she must have been a hot chick in high school who paid attention. He said he wonders how that worked. He wondered if she went home and studied. Robin said it's silly he has that question. Howard said she is so freaking hot. He said she's a hot nerd. He said she was answering questions about Trump and the CIA. He said he has no idea what this VOX thing even is. He said she's hot enough to be a model but she has good grades. He said his mind was exploding.
Howard said he doesn't get how you can be that hot and that smart. He said it doesn't work in his book. He said you have to pick just one, don't be selfish.
Howard said then he's watching the anchor guy and they do a Meet the Press Daily show. He said he was looking at this guy and he's acting like he doesn't know she's hot. He said he's in love with her and he can't say anything to her. Robin said he doesn't know if this is true, this is all in his head. Howard said that's right. He said he's acting like she's a dude. Robin asked if this bothers him that this is as far as he can get. Howard said he's ashamed of himself. He said he's making up a sorry about the guy and how he wants to be with Liz Plank. Howard said Chuck Todd is acting like she isn't hot.
Gary said she was talking about the emoluments clause. Howard said that's what it was. Howard said it's hard to beat off during a discussion about the emoluments clause. Brent explained what it means. He said it means if you're a government employee then you can't take money from a foreign government. Howard said she was talking about that and he wasn't hearing a word she said. He said Chuck Todd was looking at her like she wasn't the hottest chick he's ever seen. He said he thinks Chuck was scribbling ''Liz Todd'' on his note pad. He said he had a whole back story built up. Robin said she feels for Howard over that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said there's this woman S.E. Cupp on HLN who is really hot. He said it's ridiculous.
Howard said he wishes he had tape of Katy Tur flirting with the crossover guy. He said JD should be able to get it. JD said his service has been down today so he can't get it.
Howard said that there's some guy on the phone who says Ralph looks 10 years older than him. Howard took the call from Jim from Raleigh who said Ralph definitely looks 10 years older. He said Ralph looks like Phil Spector. Howard said he doesn't think so. Jim also said he looks like Andy Dick a little bit. Howard said Ralph looks good. He said Andy isn't a bad looking guy. He said he might be a little wacky. Jim said Ralph's skin looks lizardy. Ralph said he puts lotion on and it's not that bad. Howard let Ralph and Jim go after that. Ralph called Jim a douche bag.
Howard said he took a picture with Snoop yesterday and he didn't look good so he scrapped it. He said he won't put it out there. He said he's getting a little scary. Robin said she is getting to the point where she won't take pictures. She said she axed a picture the other day. She said she tries to not care but that one was too bad. Howard said he looked like a monster next to Snoop.
Howard asked Jason if he changed the angle of the camera or something. Jason said he doesn't think so. Howard said Benjy said he's not a fan of the new gel he's using in his hair. He said fuck Benjy, what does he know? He said Chris Wilding said he thinks he's hotter than Ralph but he doesn't think so. Robin said she thinks he is. Robin said she thinks Ralph tries to look like him. Howard said that's a bad choice. He said Chris Wilding says he thinks he's hotter than Ralph. He spoke to him for about a second about that.
Gary said he found out he has been getting calls to his cell phone that are unlisted and he's convinced that the government is tracking him. Howard asked who the fuck he thinks he is that the government would want to track him down. Sean said he's speaking out about stuff so they're coming after him. Howard asked who is trying to control them. Sean said it's the branches that are trying to control us.
Howard said he believes that people are trying to do good for the people of this country. He said they're not all evil and trying to control us. He said they don't know where aliens are and they're not hiding them at Studio 53 or 54 or whatever. Howard said if Hillary is so good at plotting the why did she lose the election? He said people have to calm down with the conspiracy theories.
Howard said he has Alex Jones on the phone and he agrees with Sean. He took the call from the guys in the back who were doing a High Register Sean impression with the stutter. Fake Alex said they're controlling Howard with his hair gel so he has to stop that. Sean said Howard has to wake up and see the truth.
Howard asked if Sean believes in dog men which are half dog and half man. Sean said he does. He said he heard one in his back yard. He said the government created them. Sean asked if he can get a chance to talk. Fake Alex stuttered out a ''absolutely.'' Howard asked if Sean has a job. Sean said he does. Howard asked if he spouts this stuff at work. Sean said yes.
Howard asked if Sean thinks that Sandy Hook was staged. Sean said he doesn't want to believe it but he's 60/40. Howard said Sean believes it. Howard asked about this half man half dog thing. He asked why they did it. Sean said that there are special ops and they have people trying to fight behind the scenes. He said that the half man half dog is the perfect thing. Howard said dogs love packs and people though. Sean said not dog man. Howard said if you spliced them together you'd get someone who wants to be with people.
Howard asked Sean why the dog man was created. Sean said they make great warriors because they are stealth. He said they're like snipers who can get into places that man couldn't get into.
Howard said he has Dog Man on the phone. He talked to one of the guys in the back as Dog Man. He was barking and talking. Howard said he could do this all day. He said he loves High Register. He said he's so fucked up. Sean said he's making a mockery of this. Howard said of course he is. He said he's not Liz Plank. Sean said there are a lot of people missing in national parks and they're missing because someone is grabbing them. Howard asked fake Alex who is grabbing them. Alex said it's lizards and dog people of course. He thanked Howard for spreading the truth.
Howard asked if Sean believes in gay fish. Sean said ''No, come on.'' Howard asked Sean what the one thing is that the government is hiding from them that is the biggest. Sean said it's the Malaysian airline flight. He said there was something on it that our government doesn't want us to see. He said that they hijacked the flight. Gary said Sean thinks that aliens might have had something to do with that. Howard asked if Sean does drugs. Sean said no. Howard said ''Wow.'' Sean said there is no time for that. Howard asked if he has ever gone to a mental institution. Sean said no.
Howard said imagine if High Register Sean put his energy into going to school. He said he could be a doctor. Sean said he has a 141 IQ. Howard asked if he'll come in there and take one to back that up. Sean said he would. Howard said he thinks he's off by about 41 points. Sean said that people let the speech impediment get in the way of that. Howard said it has nothing to do with that speech impediment.
Sean said that last week was National Stuttering awareness week. Ward said forget about that. He asked about the Yanny vs. Laurel thing. Sean said he doesn't want to say what he hears. He said Howard has to tell everyone not to vote on it. Howard asked Alex if they should vote. Alex said ''no, no, no, no, no, no.'' Howard asked if they have anything else to say. Neither one did so Howard let them go. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked what you do when you're in a plane and the cabin becomes depressurized. Howard had a few things like using the oxygen mask and things like that. Robin said that she has a clip. They were talking about using the oxygen mask quickly or you'll pass out. Robin said they're talking about this because a plane's window came out and a person was almost sucked out. Robin said it was the co-pilot and he was almost sucked out of the plane. Robin had some audio of a reporter talking about that. Robin said the co-pilot survived and he had a sprained wrist and scratches.
Howard had a clip of Katy Tur that JD found. He said he thinks that she's flirting with Chuck Todd. Robin said that might be another Mika and Joe situation.
Robin read a story about the upcoming royal wedding and Meghan Markle's dad. Robin said he was going to be banned from walking his daughter down the aisle but now they're saying he won't be there because he is going to have heart surgery. Howard said never marry a woman whose family can't make it to the wedding. He said he's not sure what Prince Harry's thoughts are on that but that's what he thinks. Robin read more details about the wedding. Howard said he didn't even have the wedding on his radar until the dad's kooky behavior was revealed.
Robin read a story about people who are marrying themselves instead of having a regular marriage. Robin said that it's a new way of people celebrating themselves. Howard said he thinks Benjy did that.
Howard said it was Wendy the Slow Adult's birthday yesterday. He had a song parody for her. She turned 38. Howard said imagine that. Robin was shocked that she's only 38. Robin said she thought she was in her late 50s. Howard said they say eating out of a dumpster ages you.
Robin read a story about a book that came out about Robin Williams. Robin said they say he was tortured all his life. Robin said that Pam Dawber clams he groped her all the time but she didn't take it seriously. She said it wasn't threatening. Robin said she says that he would be standing there staring at her and then he'd just grab her breasts for no reason. Robin said they remained friends the whole time even after that. Robin said they also say that he had a terrible insecurity where Jim Carrey was concerned. Robin said he was very jealous of Jim. Howard said that's so sad. Robin said she thinks they would have been great together on screen. Robin said they also talk about the Lewy Body Dementia he had. Robin said she loved Robin Williams. Howard said she sounds like an expert. Robin said she did love him very much.
Robin read a story about how Melania is doing after her kidney surgery. Robin said she's going to remain in the hospital through the end of the week. Howard asked if there is any scarring at all. Robin said she would imagine they tried to keep it as minimal as possible. Howard said he wants more Alex Jones and High Register Sean.
Robin read a story about how CBS is issuing a statement about Pauley Perrette claiming that she left the show she was on because of physical assaults. Robin said that CBS says it's committed to a safe work environment. Robin said Pauley Perrette has been on NCIS for 15 years.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the new app is great. He said that he got into the radio show faster than it used to. He said he wanted to call in with that. Howard said they're on a roll. He said that guy likes the app. He said it's a revolution. He said he likes positive news.
Robin read a story about how they're recalling 8,500 green cards. Howard asked if it's the cards or the people. Robin said they're recalling them over a production error. Robin said they have a date on there that's wrong.
Robin read a story about the Hawaiian volcano that's been erupting on the big island. Robin asked what island that is. Howard said it's Hawaii. Robin said that it's a collection of islands and the big one is Hawaii. Robin said the eruption is eminent and they have upped the warning level for it. Robin said they have an ash cloud in the sky and they're issuing warnings about that too.
Robin read a story about North Korea and how things were going okay but now Kim Jong Un may be reconsidering the summit. Robin said that they may pull out if they insist on them giving up their nuclear program. Robin said they're upset about the exercises that the U.S. and South Korea were going ahead with. Robin said Kim Jong Un is back to where he was 5 months ago.
Robin read about how the Palestinian's are burying their dead after the clashes on the Gaza border. Robin had some audio of a reporter talking about the 60 people shot dead by the Israelis.
Robin read a story about Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to get Trump to look into renewable energy. Robin had some audio of him talking about that and some other things.
Robin read a story about Dave Chappelle and Jon Stewart going out on tour together this summer. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.