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Howard said everyone was asking over and over again... is Ronnie alive? He said the answer is yes he is alive. Howard said it's 117 degrees in Vegas. He said it's so fucking hot out there. He said there was a clip where they said it's so hot that the pavement is up to 145 degrees. He played a clip of a guy talking about how it can get up to 180 degrees. He said there are people getting burned from the pavement.
Howard asked Ronnie if he's tired of being asked if he's still alive. Ronnie said he's still alive. Ronnie said they've had some crazy weather out there though. He said they've had a lot of rain. He said it rained so hard he had to pump out 2 inches of water from his pool. He said it was crazy. Howard said it's so hot his dildos melted out there.
Howard said he and Ronnie were in a zoom meeting yesterday. He said they were talking about cars. He said he asked about the weather and Ronnie said it's fine out there. He said you can't get him to say a bad thing about it.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie didn't RSVP his wedding yet. Ronnie said they had a cut off date. He said once that came they waited another 10 days after that cut off. He said Stephanie asked people to kindly respond and they're going to assume you're not coming if you don't. He said Ralph still hasn't responded. Howard said that's so rude. He said it's a destination wedding so there's a lot going on there. He said he gets if ie he understood President Biden was too busy to respond. He asked what Ralph is busy with that he can't respond. Robin asked if he has asked him about it. Howard said no. He said no one has more free time than that guy.
Ronnie said he doesn't get it. He said he has spoken to Ralph a few times over the summer. He said he never heard from him. He said maybe he's mad about something. Howard said he may be mad about something in life.
Howard said Ronnie is so great. He said he will explain. He said that he gets set off and people say ''elderly'' to him and he gets upset. He said he's in his 70s but he's still acting like a younger man. He said he's still spry. He said people wonder if he's a character and putting it on. He said he has proof that he's not putting it on.
Howard said the guys called Ronnie over the summer. Ronnie said he knows this. He said he didn't know it right away but they figured things out. He said they called back the number and all of that. Howard said he has to play this. He said it proves that Ronnie is an ornery guy. He said they called him and said they were checking in on the elderly and he got upset. He said that Ronnie went berserk. He said he did not hold back one bit.
Howard said he has listened to this 57 times because it's so funny. He said he's going to win for best phony phone call. Ronnie said Stephanie was working in the office and heard him freaking out. He said she had to come ask what was going on. He said he should just play it.
Howard got to the clip and played just a few seconds of it where Ronnie answered the call. He was all worked up already. Howard had to point that out. He said he worked for him for like 50 years and that's what he sounds like. He said he's mad at the phone for just ringing.
Howard played the rest of the call. They called Ronnie as if they were checking in on the elderly. She was asking if he needed meals on wheels to show up or anything like that. Ronnie was asked if he has a pool to cool down with and if he has bars to get out with. Ronnie was all pissed off and frustrated with the questions. The woman said that this is a sign of heat stroke and there are cooling centers for people if he needs that. Ronnie was angry and asking them not to call again. He hung up and they called back to make sure he was okay and they may send someone over to check on him. Ronnie said he's not broken down and old. He asked them to stop with the phone calls. The woman said they were going to send someone to check on him. Ronnie said no one will answer the door. They asked if he has someone else there to check on him. Ronnie asked to speak to a supervisor. He asked what her problem is. She asked him to remain calm.
They put a fake supervisor on with Ronnie and he told her what was going on. She asked questions to piss Ronnie off even more. She asked if he was hearing impaired and things like that. Ronnie asked what her problem was and hung up.
Howard laughed and Ronnie said there was a lot more than that. He said there was more yelling and screaming. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said he went a little bit Karen there. He asked to speak to a supervisor.
Howard said all of the voices were Jamie. He said she was doing both voices there. He said the thing that drove him crazy was that he was so pissed off about someone checking up on him. He said it was nice. Ronnie said he was fine but she just kept going and going. He said it's not the whole call. Howard said she hit every button. Ronnie said there's more to it. He said you should have been in the house. He said Stephanie looked up the number and it was a social services number. Howard said his team is good. Ronnie said they called back and they answered the phone. He said he didn't know what the fuck was going on.
Howard said Ronnie was partying all summer. He said he was going to parties every weekend. He said he's not drinking anymore. Ronnie said he is drinking. He said he started drinking just gin instead of gin and tonic. He said that he was at a party and he was trying it on the rocks so he kept doing it. He said he's not drinking as much. He said he's smoking weed instead. He said you don't get the headache and all of that from drinking. He said he wakes up fine now.
Howard said it's working for him. He said he's like Ronnie Chong. He said he's a 70 year old teenager.
Howard said Ralph should have RSVP'd. He said that was his point. He said that he also heard that he didn't write his wedding vows. Robin asked how much longer he has. Ronnie said not long. He said everything is coming along nice. He said he still has some time.
Howard said he heard that they have to pick an Elvis impersonator. He said they can get a young one or an older one. Ronnie said they met with one going back like 5 years ago. He said they have to talk to him about the ceremony or something. Howard asked what they met with him for 5 years ago. Ronnie said he has one of the chapels down town and they had gone there just to say hi to the guy. He said now they have to meet about the whole thing.
Howard said imagine that meeting. Howard said if you think about it there can't be any issues. He said it's fake Elvis. He said there can't be that much to talk about. He did his Elvis impression and talked about the kind of payment and things like that.
Howard asked if the guy talks like Elvis. Ronnie said not at all. He said he plays Elvis but he's just a regular guy. Howard said he'd come as full Elvis to entice him to use him. Ronnie said they went to the wedding chapel and met the guy. He said he showed them who got married there.
Howard did his Elvis thing and asked if he met his fiancee when she was just 14 like he did. Ronnie said it wasn't that far off. He said she was only 10 years older than that.
Howard said the whole thing about using Elvis to marry you is that you don't plan a wedding. He said you just get married. He said this whole thing is a big plan.
Howard did more of his Elvis impression and talked to Ronnie about the stuff that they're going to do at the wedding. He was making it sound like he was going to reenact his whole life for them at the wedding.
Howard said the other thing he heard about Ronnie was that Wayne Siegel went out to visit with him. He asked who his best friend is. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said Joe is a best friend. Ronnie said all of his friends out there are great. He said he has some friends back in New York that he misses a lot. He said he's not sure about JD. He said he never hears from that guy. He said he never calls. JD said he never calls Blitt either. Ronnie said he's always with him so he doesn't have to.
JD said he never calls anyone. He said his mom says the same thing. He said he doesn't call people. He said he's not good at small talk. Ronnie said he's a dick then. He said he calls to check up on him. JD said he appreciates that. He said he's not trying to be a dick. He said that's just how he is. He said he's not the better friend. He said anyone who is a friend of his are better friends to him than he is to them.
Howard asked if JD still has COVID. JD said he does not have it anymore. Ronnie said he called to see how he was an he never hears from him if he doesn't call. He said they talk when he does call. He said it's like pulling teeth though.
Howard said JD doesn't know social cues. He said that's the way he is. JD said he's not good with the small talk. He said he can't do it. He said he's not sure what it is but he grunts at people. Howard said he's had that before.
Howard said JD became an uncle over the summer. He said he was afraid of dropping it when he met it. JD said there's a lot of weaknesses with the body so he didn't want to hurt him. He said he wasn't sure how to hold it. He said he gave it back.
Robin said she was thinking that he'll never call the baby either. JD said he'll have to see. He said for now he just sleeps. Howard asked if what the name is. JD said it's Lincoln. He said he's not sure where they got that from. Howard said it's the President. He laughed at JD for not knowing that.
Howard said he heard about Gary calling JD to have a heart to heart with him. He said it didn't go well. Gary said he called to see how he was doing after not talking to him much. He said he told JD he loves him and JD said ''Okay, we're not doing this.'' JD said he knows where Gary is coming from and trying to do. He said he's trying to make him feel better. He said he probably thinks he should get out of the house more. Howard said he barely went out at all. He said he went out to prove that he'd go out but that's it. He said he didn't really enjoy going out. He said it's work for him.
Howard said he learned a lot from that concert. He was telling everyone else that they should learn because this is just one guy up there on stage by himself. He said it actually was fun to go out to that.
Howard said Beth told him to wear his Beatles t-shirt to the concert because Paul was going to be there. He said he figured he'd give a shot. He said he wore it and he ran into Paul on the red carpet. He said he was there early himself so he saw Paul coming in later. He said he was there with his daughter Ashley and her husband Adam. He said he was going to go say hi to Paul but he was thinking that might not be that cool. He said he was going to put it off but he went right up to him and showed him the shirt. He said Paul looks great. He said he's older than him and he looks real good. He said that he was out there video'ing Ed Sheeran. He said he's into it.
Howard said he hung out with Billy Joel, James Corden and others. He said it was fun. He said that James is still around. He said he though he was gone. He said Jon Bon Jovi was there. He said that Andy Cohen was there with John Mayer. He said that's a weird thing. He said he asked if they're a couple and Andy says no. He said John wasn't really talking much. He said he was staying at his house. He said that he gave John a room at his house. He said they're really into each other. Robin asked if he's ever heard of friendship. Howard said not really. He said if he's hanging around you then he's trying to fuck you. Robin went into a whole thing about men and friendships because she read an article about that.
Howard said he spoke to Gary over the summer. He said he talked to Robin but not much to Fred. He said Chris and Ralph's friendship broke up. He said Ralph said he needed a break from Chris.
Howard said the Ed Sheeran concert was good. He said they're going to air that on Howard 101. He said he has a couple of songs to play from that. He said the show will be on Friday.
Howard said he did go out and he went without a mask. Robin said she heard that COVID is back. She said she may have to start wearing a mask. Howard said he's back in the city next week. He said he's trying to prove that he's a man of the people. He said of course COVID is back. He said that he did have people over to the house. He said that JD, Mike Trainor and Will got COVID over the summer. JD said it felt like a cold. He said whatever. He said he's not sure how he got it. He said no one else got it from Nowicki's wedding. He said he's not sure what happened.
Howard said Mike got it for the third time and also got Gout. Mike said he didn't know he was going to get into that. He said that he has Paxlovid. He said it helped out a lot. He said it was a rough weekend before he got that. JD said he was told not to use Paxlovid. Mike said it was like a bad flu for him. He said it turns out it was more than just a cold. He said that this is his third time with it and he's doing okay.
Howard asked how fast the Paxlovid works. Mike said it works pretty fast. Robin said she likes how JD's doctor told him not to worry about it.
Howard asked Mike how he knew he had gout. Mike said he felt like he broke something his foot and it turns out he had gout. He said that he was taking some supplements and stuff that may have led to him getting it. He said he's stopped with that and other stuff. Howard said just eat healthy and don't worry about the supplements.
Robin asked about Gary and JD and what else went on there. JD said he knows that Gary loves him and he appreciates that. He said he didn't want to get into a deep conversation with him about that. Howard asked him to continue that conversation. Gary went into the loving JD thing. Gary said when he said that to him he said he wasn't going to do this and asked him to stop.
Howard said he'd take that as an insult if Gary did that to him but he was just being nice. JD said he knows that. He said he loves Gary and Ronnie too.
Howard said he heard the wedding was not that good. Jason said there were issues with the food and things there. Howard asked Steve if he heard all of this. Steve said he did not. He said it's all good though. He said no one said anything to him that day.
Howard asked Steve if he thought the wedding was okay. Steve said he did. Ronnie said he was hot at the wedding. He said that's it. Ronnie said he has to explain. He said he's not trying to piss on the wedding. He said it was very warm and muggy that day. He said the room was an atrium and it was all glass and fans were on and no air conditioning. He said everyone was in black and there were 150 people in the room. He said it was very hot.
Howard said he heard the wedding was starting at 5:30 and they had to go up to this place and they had to knock on the door. He said they get there and they can't get in to use the bathroom. He said the place said you can't come in until the wedding starts. He said this was a half hour before the wedding. Steve said he didn't know any of this.
Howard said he heard there was no air conditioning. Steve said they had to use fans for the ceremony. Howard said Ronnie can't be there like that when he's elderly like he is.
Howard said he heard the food wasn't very good either. The guys said they had some sketchy looking appetizers out there for them.
Howard said he heard about this food truck that showed up. Steve said it was Shake Shack. Jason said they told people to come hungry. He said that you show up at 5:30 and you have to wait for food. He said they had this beautiful room for the wedding and nothing was served for 2 hours. He said at 9 o'clock they said there was a burger truck outside. He said 150 people rushed out to get food. Jason said Jon Hein was the first one in line. Jason said it took 2 hours to get food. He said he ate by 11. He said that's how long it took.
Howard and the guys were talking about the food and how people were just disappearing from the wedding. Jason said there was no cake to wait for either. He said it was donuts. Steve said it was very good donuts. He said Ronnie was very quiet there. He said he wondered what was going on. Ronnie said he was so hot. He said he was in all black and it was so warm from the beginning. He said you do what you have to do but he was just warm. He said it was hot.
Mike Trainor came on and talked about what Ronnie was like at the wedding. He said he put his arm out like he didn't want him coming near him. Ronnie said he knew he was going to start in with him. Mike said he was in a bad mood that night. Ronnie said he was not. He said he knows why he was upset. Mike said he looked so grumpy and cranky. He said it was hilarious. Ronnie said he has such a thorn in his side over Mike.
Howard said he heard that Mike's hand didn't leave his girlfriend's ass the whole night. He said he didn't let anyone near her. He said he sounds very possessive. Ronnie said she knows about his shtick with him. He said she talked about how he bugs his ass and constantly gets on him. He said she told him that she'd be the same way that he is.
Robin said Mike got big this summer. Howard asked about his big arms. Mike said he's not working out that hard. Ronnie said he looks like Nicole Bass now.
Howard said congrats to Steve on his wedding but he heard some things about it. He said he heard a lot. He said Sal had a great time from what he heard. He said he was singing. Jason said it seemed unprompted. Howard had some audio of Sal singing. He said Sal is really like a throwback. He said he went to Italy over the summer and now he's dressing very European. He said he's got the shirt unbuttoned and things like that.
Jason said Sal got yelled at by his wife the whole wedding. He said it didn't seem like they were getting along that well.
Howard asked Sal to come in. He said he heard his father went on vacation but he can't go to Italy. Sal said he wanted to bring his parents but his father is wanted in Sicily. He said he used to go there alone every year and he was getting social security there but he was only there 3 months at a time. He said he was getting it here too. He said he was bragging to his friends about it and he got caught. He said his friends ratted him out. He said he owes about 7 or 8 thousand dollars over there. Sal said his mother didn't want to go because she thought she might get arrested or detained over there too.
Howard asked Sal about vaping at the wedding. Sal said he doesn't remember doing that. Samantha said he was vaping so much. She said he was under the table doing it. She said he was talking to Ronnie and slapping him in the face too. Ronnie said he was flapping his hands all over. He said he was drinking wine and he thought he was going to get that spilled on him.
Howard asked Sam about the wedding. Sam said they told them not to eat before the wedding. She said she was starving after working out in the morning. She said she was wearing a black dress and she was starving. Ronnie said that was a nice dress too. Sam said her husband was starving too and he wanted to leave. She said he was up from 5 in the morning. She said it was a shame that the hunger was the thing that everyone was talking about. She said it was a beautiful wedding though.
Sam said Sal was kissing and hugging everyone and his wife was trying to get him to shut up. She said that she asked Richard to get him to sit down. She said she turned to Christine and she tried to help out. She said that she was moving the place cards. She said they had people all over the place and they weren't able to hear each other. She said all of the place cards got jumbled. She said there was a missing chair for Richard. She said things were all over the place. Sal said he did listen to his wife and he was a good husband and shut up.
Howard said he heard that Mike's girlfriend is super hot. He said Benjy was very taken with her. Mike said she was very taken with him too. Sam said he was wearing a baseball cap the whole time too. Jason said it's so noticeable. He said that he stood out.
Sam said she's not a big sweater but she was sweating like crazy at this wedding. SHE said all of the women had their makeup melting. She said she looked like she had peed on the seat because that's how much she was sweating. She said it was very uncomfortable. She said it was like a sweat house in there.
Howard asked what they shelled out to everyone. Steve said he spent a lot on the wedding. He said it was so much. Jason said it was like the Fyre Festival. He said that's how much it was. Steve said they had cocktails there.
Jason said that they heard about someone there who didn't spend much on a gift. Sam said she gave $450 and they heard that Mike gave him 50 bucks. Howard said he was right. He said who knew that was the right amount. Sam said that's so offensive. Howard asked Steve if he was offended. Steve said he was. He said he thought it was a typo. He said he was in the airport going to his honeymoon and he wondered why mike gave him only 50 dollars. Howard said Mike has like 10 kids and he's on a budget.
Howard asked Mike if his wife works. Mike said she does. He said he enjoyed the wedding though. He said he gave him another 50 dollars after the weeding. Sam said he did it after they talked. She said it's like he's paying in increments. She said it cost them 50 dollars for a drink in that area.
Howard said Chris Wilding has said that Mike is the cheapest person he's ever met. He said he has to defend him. Steve said he did send the other 50 bucks after the wedding. He said his wife wondered if he had said something to him.
Sam and Mike were talking about Ronnie's wedding and Mike sarcastically said he may have to ask her what to give. Howard said his take on destination weddings is don't give a gift. He said that you have to fly out and spend on the hotel and all of that. He said it's one thing after another. He said the couple should expect not to get a gift. He said it's too much.
Howard said he's not picking on Ronnie in particular but maybe he shouldn't expect too much. He said give something to him so he doesn't blame him if he gets nothing.
Howard said you can't please everyone. He said he's sorry he missed Steve's wedding. Steve said he was blissfully unaware of all of this. He said it's nice to be that way.
Howard asked what they had for people who don't eat meat. The guys said they had non-meat burgers there from Shake Shack.
Steve mentioned that Sal just went up and grabbed food. Sal said he was so hungry that he just went up and grabbed some fries. He said the food truck was interesting. He said he thought it was the after party truck. He said that was the party truck though. He said he had a great time there. He thanked Steve for that. Steve thanked Sal for singing. He said it was great.
Jason said Sal was over in Italy and he was singing on the streets there too. Sal said he was in a food court in Florence and he was singing with this woman who played piano. He said she played ''My Way'' and he sang with her. He said someone broke a glass or something and that brought it to an end. Howard had some audio of that. He said he's annoying in any language. Howard played more of the clip and JD was laughing at it.
Howard played another clip of Sal singing with an accordion player on the street. Sal said he had to pay them 10 bucks too. He said they kept following him and he had to give them more money. He said he gave them like 5 more Euro. He said people were looking at him like ''what is happening with this guy?''
Howard said he has other updates about Sal. He said he had a big revelation that Elvis is his hero to him and so is his mother. He said that finally hit him. He said he has all kinds of revelations. He said it could make for some interesting radio over the next couple of months. He said it's fascinating. He said he didn't miss Sal that much. Sal said he missed him.
Howard said it was nice to get some updates from the guys. He congratulated Steve again. Steve said it was a wonderful day. Sam said he should tell his wife not to listen to the show today. She said it's hard for someone to hear that kind of stuff about a wedding. Howard said Ronnie will get hammered too. Ronnie said he knows. He said he told Stephanie already that she should expect him to get hammered.
Howard told Steve not to feel bad. He said at least he wasn't there. He said he would have been miserable. Ronnie said he went to his friend's house and for dinner one night and they were going to have pizza. He said he asked them to start his immediately. He said they had pizza before anyone else even showed up. He said they were out of there before anyone got there. He said that was it for him. He said you have to feed him constantly.
Howard said he would have been out of there at the sign of any glitch. He said it sounds as bad as Burning Man. He said he heard that one person didn't' get food until midnight. Jason said that was Jamie. Sam said her feet were so tired.
Jason said that Memet's wife was on line ahead of Memet and she didn't order him food. He said she was like ''Fuck him, he can get his own food.'' Sam said JD told her not to cut the line. Howard said men aren't gentlemen. He said the won't put up with it. He said he could have had a nice conversation with her. JD said he wanted to concentrate on the task at hand.
Howard asked JD what he got. JD said he got a burger and fries. Jason said that they had no patience for changes to the food either. He said you got whatever they gave you. Ronnie said that they were overwhelmed.
Howard said he didn't want to say it but two people died of starvation there. He said vultures were flying around Ronnie at the wedding. Howard said congratulations to Steve again. Robin said she'd like to hear from someone who worked there. She said she'd love to know what it was like.
Howard asked if Fred was there. Steve said no but he sent a nice gift. Fred joked that he gave $50.50 so he'd send more than Mike. He said Mike makes him look good. He said he's the best. He said that guy is his hero. Howard said you need a Mike Trainor in every group.
Howard said he heard Jon Blitt didn't go and he said that his weekends are too precious to go to a wedding.
Howard wished Steve luck and congratulated him again. Mike said Steve is so happy to be married. He said he has never heard a guy talk like that. He said good for him.
Howard asked if the sex life has dropped off at all with Steve. Steve said everything is excellent. Howard wondered why it does drop off. Sal said it drops off like an anvil out of a car window in a cartoon.
Howard said Mike really had never heard that before from a guy who got married. Mike said he never has. He said that he's engaged too. He said he's going to pull the Ronnie thing and wait like 16 years.
Howard thanked the guys for the update. He said he was happy for Steve and his bride. He said you have to know that no one is going to be happy at the party. He said he always has a ton of food at his parties. He said that's the one thing he knows to do.
Howard said over the summer he was listening to a lot of music and he wanted to share it with his audience. He said he wanted to share them with everyone. He said he called people there at SiriusXM and he wanted to be able to hit a button and be able to broadcast. He said they explained why he can't do that. He said there's more to it. He said they came up with the idea that if he wants to go on the air he can do it within 5 minutes during working hours and maybe a half hour during off hours.
Howard said he likes the idea that he can do that and people can get the benefit of that from the show. He said he doesn't want to do it on Instagram. He said he wants to do it on his own channel.
Howard said the guys came up with the plan to do this. He said he was having a dinner party that night and he had some cool people over that night. He said he wasn't planning on broadcasting live. He said they were sitting and having dinner and Beth told them he has this new ability to go live. He said Jimmy Fallon didn't think he could do it that easy. He said he didn't want to do it and make people think he's using them. He said he wasn't planning on doing this. He said then his wife told them and they were all excited about it.
Howard said they went down to the basement and they were singing Karaoke. He said he had a bunch of celebrities over that night. He said it was a large group. He said he brought the to the basement and did the show. He said he went to bed thinking he did the wrong thing but it worked out well. Jilly said it was awesome. She said she was wondering if it was really happening. Howard said he loved doing it. He said it was kind of fun.
Howard said he didn't approve of all of the songs they were singing. Jilly said she didn't either. Howard and Jilly talked about the songs they were singing. They went over a bunch of the songs that people were singing.
(Just so you don't go looking for these pop up shows in my archives, I didn't write them up. I didn't listen to them over the summer break. I tried the first one. I hated it. I turned it off.)
Howard let the caller go. He said that he didn't see this Barbie movie over the summer. He said Robin saw it. He said he got a lecture from Robin over the movie. He said she was really fired up over it. He said it made $1.38 billion though. He said the movie business was dead but it proves you can get people to go to the theater and buy tickets. Robin said Oppenheimer made a lot of money too. Howard said he wants to see it but he'll wait for streaming.
Howard said what a piece of shit that Flash movie was. He said he thought it was going to be good based on the reviews but it was bad. He said he watched until Flash got his super powers. He said he was done after that. He said he's not sure what they're doing over there at DC. He said that movie was a piece of shit. He said he won't finish it.
Howard said the kid playing Flash was annoying. He said he's probably a nice kid but he didn't like the movie. He said they have to mess with the time continuum. He said they should never do that. He said they were the dumbest super heroes. He said that if he had super powers he would be so protective of them. He said he'd be afraid of messing up his super powers. He said never mess with the time continuum.
Howard said Ryan Gosling has a hit song from the Barbie movie. He said it's called ''I'm Just Ken'' and Mark Ronson produced it. He said he played the song this morning. He played it for Robin. Howard said that's a number one song or something. Robin said it's like we've woken up in the Bizarro world. Howard said there are a couple of things that are good.
Howard said he is an old bastard because he doesn't know any of the top 10 songs. He said that he was trying to listen to the top 10 songs. He played some of the songs for Robin and talked about how bad they are. He played one by a band called 50/50. He said he doesn't know this stuff.
Howard said he is so into Tom Morello. He said he goes on the app and listens to his show. He said this guy speaks to him. He said every song he plays is good. He said he was working out and listening to Tom. He said the guy picks every song that he likes.
Howard played more top 10 songs for Robin. He said this one song has to be a remake. Jason said that's sampling an old song. Howard asked what song. Jason said he has to check. Jason said that's Robert Parker's ''Caught in a Lie'' that's sampled.
Howard said Miley Cyrus has a hit song. He played some of that. He said she's had a couple of hits this summer. He played another couple of songs that he didn't know. He said the Jonas Brothers have a song about the Waffle House. He played that and a few others.
Howard played a remake of ''Don't Hurt Me''. He said he's sure he's saying the wrong names. Gary helped him out with the people who did the remake. Howard said it's the same as the original. Robin said there's more of a beat to it.
Howard played some Morgan Wallen and Dua Lipa. He was playing about 5 seconds of each song. He said Dua Lipa has a super kick ass look. He said he's not sure he wants to hear her sing though. He said he'll go to her concert. He said it's like being at a strip club. He said she's like a stripper who has a lot of talent.
Howard said Britney Spears is making videos again. He said she does a lot of spinning and dancing. He said she was doing that before she was freed from her father but now she does it on Instagram instead of Twitter. He said her freedom seems to be if she can do it on Instagram.
Howard played more of the Dua Lipa stuff. He said he thinks she's the one who is hot. Robin said she's sure that's the one.
Howard said Gary and Jon Hein went to a Taylor Swift concert this summer in Los Angeles. Robin asked if they went together. Gary said they did. Howard played some of her stuff and asked if she played that. Gary said she did 3 and a half hours.
Gary said they got there early at 5:30 for a show that started at 8:30. He said the lines were staggering for the merch there. He said Jon wanted to get his kids something. Howard said the merch thing is crazy. He said he was reading about Jimmy Buffett and he wasn't that big on the radar but he sold so much merch that he became a billionaire. Robin said he opened up his own resorts and they had his music playing and they had awful food there. She said she has been to one of those resorts. She said the burger was awful.
Howard said he was reading about Jimmy Buffett and the merch he sold. He said his agent always told him not to sell merch. He said he said the fans would appreciate that. He said he agreed with him. He said he wonders if he was making the right decision. He said Jimmy has a retirement community where his fans can do whatever they want. He said he and his agent agreed not to be like that. He said he wanted to have that kind of money though. He said he wanted to have two hit songs and have billions of dollars.
Howard said he wasn't selling merch but he was reading about Taylor Swift and how she sells a ton of that stuff. He said the fans don't hate her. Jon Hein said he found a short line. He said Gary went off to find a shorter line. He said they were in line for about 30 minutes or so. He said this stuff was selling like crazy and it's not cheap. He said he got a couple of shirts for his daughters and one for himself. Howard asked if his audience would resent him if he sold that stuff. Jon said he doesn't think so. Gary said no too. Jon said it shows the fans who were there. He said they have exclusives too so it makes it something collectible. He said no one is resentful at all.
Howard asked if they plan the long lines. He said he wouldn't want his fans waiting for 5 minutes. He said that maybe it makes it more desirable. Jon said he doesn't think they plan the long lines but they may hold back some items. Howard asked if he got any of that stuff. Jon said he did not. Gary said Jon spent $300. Howard asked how much in total did he spend. Jon said it was probably $600-700 for the night.
Gary said the people who help you are very nice and they don't rush anyone. He said they're super nice. He said they had like 25 kiosks there and they were all packed. Jon said Gary was holding up his wrist when he came back. Gary said he was talking to the fans on his way back and they told him to get a friendship bracelet. He said people craft this stuff. Gary said he ran across this woman who knew him and asked to take a picture. He said he saw the bracelets on her wrist and she offered one up. He said they all have sayings on them. He said she put it on him and she said ''Sparks fly! Woo!'' and he was in.
Gary said Jon was jealous of the bracelet. He said everyone saw them and they were all talking. He said someone offered Jon a bracelet. He said then he got another one and they were trading like 12 year old girls. Gary said he didn't realize that the concert is an era tour so she's covering songs from all of her eras. He said that you're supposed to dress from those eras. Jon and Gary went on and on about this Taylor Swift concert. Jon talked about how incredible the concert is. He said there are fans just like there would be at Bruce Springsteen concerts. Jon and Gary shared stories about the way people get dressed up for the different eras.
Howard asked Jon what t-shirt he got for himself. Jon said he got the concert shirt with the tour dates on it.
Howard said he heard they were arguing about when to leave the concert. Gary said she has a set list and Jon wanted to wait for a certain song and he wanted to wait for another one. He said he had to wait for the song Antihero. Howard asked to hear that song. He said he has to hear this. The guys found it for him so he could play it.
Howard asked the guys if they have sexual feelings for Taylor. Gary said not at all. He said she's very distant. Jon said he doesn't have feelings but he has a nostalgic thing for her because he used to take his kids to see her.
Howard asked when Jon and Gary blow each other. Gary said they had the best time there. He said don't make it weird.
Robin said they movie theaters are going to get her concert and that's going to be a huge deal. Howard said they're already up to like $26 million in pre-sales with that.
Howard asked why he can't sell merch. Gary said he can. Howard said his agent says he doesn't want that. Robin said he's from a different era. She said it was always a thing for the rock bands. Howard said she's right. Jon said that Howard wore a Beatles shirt to the Ed Sheeran concert. He said if he gave that to the fans it would be an exclusive thing. Howard said if he did anal beads and stuff they'd be exclusive. He said there's only 50 Fartman spatulas made. He said that or the Robin Quivers bra. He said that would be only at the kiosk.
Howard said his agent always said no to that stuff. He said Taylor doesn't seem too upset about milking the fans.
Gary said there was a weird moment. He said he bought a shirt for his son's girlfriend. He said they asked for a tip. He said Jon tipped at the booth. Jon said he tipped the person because they were coaching him through the merch they had. He said the person helped a lot. Howard said that's too much. He said tipping the person it too much. He said he's not going to tip someone at Macy's. He asked what's up with that. Jon said they went above and beyond with him. He said he was being annoying and they were very patient.
Howard said he sees all of this stuff being sold and it's just a lot. He said he could have sold so much stuff. He said he would have jarred his own farts. He said he could have a Gary doll. He said you could pull the string and it would tell 7 hours of Bruce Springsteen stories. Gary said he saw him this summer too. Jon said he saw James Taylor at a Bruce show.
Howard said there are some great audiobook things that the bands have put out lately. He said he loves Jack Black. He said that dude is funny. He said people are selling stuff. He said for some reason he isn't. He said his agent said that the fans would appreciate him if he didn't mike you for more bucks. He said some people don't worry about that.
Howard said Jimmy Buffett was a wonderful guy according to what he heard. He said he had like 2 hit songs. He said he's got 5 billion dollars worth of merch out there. Gary said he heard that Taylor sold like $168 million in merch. He said that she gave out bonuses to the workers.
Jon said Jimmy may have billions but Howard still has his integrity. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she would wear his merch every day. She said that she's fine with that. She said she just paid $45 for 2 tickets to see Taylor's movie when that comes out. She said she thinks Howard should sell merch.
Howard said he was always for merch. He said he would be tickled by it. He said that his agent knows his stuff. He said he's going to go with what he says. He said he's just thinking about the dollars he missed out on. Robin said don't think about that or you'll end up in a ball on the floor.
Howard said he can see a Stern Show retirement community. He said that would be something. Robin said there is a way to do it right. She said he can't put his name on everything. Howard said he can hang his head high because he has not sold merch. He said evidently that's a big deal. He said no merch for him.
Howard said he would like a Howard Stern t-shirt. Robin said imagine all of the eras of Howard Stern hair cuts. Howard said he has had a lot. He said there's all kinds of shit.
Howard said he has a lot to get to. He said he has to take a break and get to more. He said they're back. He said next week they have Demi Lovato. He said the following week they have Paul Simon. He said he loves this guy. Robin said he's wanted that forever. Howard said he has. He said they spoke over the summer and had a conversation for about an hour. He said he wished the audience could hear it. He said he'll talk about his life and his music. Howard played a bunch clips of his hit songs.
Howard said he's going to make a friendship bracelet for Paul. He said he'll be on soon.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said that's Tom Morello his hero. He said he has a lot to get to and he should get down to business. He said his posture is better now. Robin said she hasn't noticed. Howard said he has been working on it. He said his daughter sent him some pictures of himself and he's so hunched over. He said he's 6'5'' and he doesn't handle himself well. He said he stuck out and he didn't want to. He said he tried to be tiny. He said he never played basketball even at his height. He said he never knew that's what he should do. Robin said he may not have been good at it.
Howard said he was talking to his mother the other day and she was saying she doesn't like muscles and things like that. He said he's so filled with fear. He said he was clueless growing up. He said he didn't have a male influence on him. He said he never asked how he was. He said he didn't know about manly things. He said he didn't understand anything. He was a lost cause.
Robin said there's a great Michael Jordan documentary. she said they beat the crap out of him. She said when he got to the NBA they didn't treat him well. She said they were beating him up. Howard said he got beaten up but didn't become a basketball player.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's from L.A. and he wasn't getting to the point so Howard asked if he's high. He said he has to go. He said he has so much to talk about and this guy is a disaster. The caller said he's a musician in L.A. and that's probably why he sounds high. Howard asked if he's at Burning Man. The caller, Charlie, said that he's more of a Jerry Garcia guy.
Charlie told Howard that he saw this woman on Instagram and he started following her. Howard cut him off and said he's a bore. Charlie said he's not though. Howard asked what he was saying. He tried to go over what he had just talked about. Charlie said he met this woman on social media from Turkey. He said they started talking and she does classical piano. He said they got close over social media. Howard said it's a dude. Charlie said it's not a dude. Howard said okay. Charlie said she's hot.
Howard said go for it if he thinks it's a real girl. Charlie said that he fucked a girl in the parking lot there in L.A. so he's not desperate to get laid or anything. Howard asked what his question is. Charlie said he needs money to go see her. Howard bailed on the call. He said he has no idea what the guy is talking about. Robin said he has no money. She said he's trying out for one of those 90 Day Fiancee shows. Howard said maybe just jerk off and forget the whole idea.
Howard said he couldn't put up with 5 minutes of that guy. He said he wouldn't go to Turkey unless he could get laid.
Howard said he's not sure if he would tell the audience. He said he wouldn't want to hear about it if they knew he was sick.
Robin told Howard about people telling her to go see this John of God person and she didn't go. Howard said he'd be so upset with her if she did that. He talked about some of the wacky stuff she's done before.
Howard said Paul Reubens died. He said they loved the Pee Wee character. He said he has a montage to play. He played the clip of Pee Wee.
Howard said he used to love his appearances on Letterman. He said they did some funny stuff. Howard read some details about Paul and how he came up with Pee Wee and all of that.
Howard said he loved that Soupy Sales didn't like Pee Wee. He played a clip where Soupy talked about how he didn't like talking chairs and stuff like that on his show.
Howard said Soupy is the reason that he's sitting there today. He said he loved that guy too. Robin said maybe that's why Paul did Pee Wee too. Howard said maybe.
Howard read through more of Paul's bio and said that he was on their show too. He said he wanted to talk to both Paul and Pee Wee but he had to choose just one. He said he went with Paul... or maybe it was Pee Wee. He said he should have gone with Paul. Howard said poor Paul got picked up for jerking off in a theater and his career went away. He said it's a shame. He said if he really loved the character he wouldn't have done that. He said it's like self sabotage. Robin said she thinks he lamented it after.
Howard said Bob Barker died. He said he was 99. He said he was the Price is Right guy. Howard said he wanted to be a game show host. Robin said you didn't have to know anything on the show either. She said no one had to know anything. Howard said you just had to guess at stuff. He said it really didn't matter.
Howard went through Bob Barker's bio and told Robin about some of the things he did in his career. Howard said Drew Carrey took over for Bob and he's having tremendous success.
Howard said Bob got into trouble with one of the bikini girls on The Price is Right. He said they had hot chicks who pointed at the prices. He said he thinks that Bob got accused of doing something with one of the girls. He said he claims it was consensual. Robin said there was a whole thing with that and she thinks they settled.
Howard said his dad used to scream about Bob Barker. He said that he used to have women put their hands in his pockets to find money. He said that he didn't do that with men. He said it set his dad off. He said he thought Bob was a creep. Robin said he was right. She said that it was like that Dawson dude kissing the women on his show.
Howard said he's not sure what it was that he did on The Price is Right with the money in the pocket but it upset his dad. He said he was upset that the men didn't do the same.
Howard said he thought Bob was really cool. Robin said he was a real animal rights advocate too. Howard said he did ask people to spay and neuter their pets and it did no good. He said from what he can tell no one is doing it. He said people just let their animals fuck.
Howard said Tony did the duet with Lady Gaga. Robin said he did others with other people. Howard said this is him with Lady Gaga. He played some of that and said he hates that kind of music. He said he doesn't like the standards. He said he listened to it when he was a kid but then the Beatles came around. He said then he was done with that stuff. Fred played some old timey music and Howard sang along with it like he knew the lyrics. They were all made up though.
Howard said they should move on. Robin asked if that's what they played when Howard went to dinner with his parents. Howard said it was horrible. He said he just wanted to die.
Howard read more about Tony Bennett's life and career. He said what a wonderful man he was. He said he had some trouble with cocaine. Robin said she didn't know that. Howard said you don't think about that. Howard played a clip from the show where he talked to Tony about Frank Sinatra.
Howard said one of the greatest moments was when Tony came in and did New York State of Mind with Billy Joel. He said Billy was so happy. Howard played a clip. He said that was a great moment. Howard said sadly Tony died trying to get food at Steve Nowicki's wedding.
Howard said Robbie Robertson died too. He said he was at a party with the guy once and he didn't talk to him. He said he never did go up to the guy but he never came up to him either. Gary said he's pretty sure Robbie liked Howard. He said he retweeted something that he had tweeted out and he DM'd him and seemed to know the show. He said he knows he was on the show many years ago and he wasn't sure what to make of him. He said it was probably in 1987. Howard said he should have had him on the show. He said The Band had so many great songs. He played a montage of some of their songs.
Robin said The Band didn't last that long. Howard said they did break up kind of quickly. Gary said he remembers there was some fighting and drug use and they just ended it. He said it went on for a long time after that break up though. Gary said he thinks Robbie was tired of touring.
Howard said he was a fan of theirs in high school and he thought Levon Helm wrote the songs but it was Robbie. He said he thought about how that sucks because he has to have someone else sing the songs.
Howard said he does regret not talking to the guy at the party. He said there were a lot of hot chicks there though. He said he doesn't think anyone was looking for another dude.
Howard played a Lil Mikey song parody to the tune of a The Band song. Howard said he was inspired by the guys.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to talk about Bob Barker and why people put their hands in his pocket. She went into the explanation about how if they got the exact price then they got to take the money out of his pocket. Howard said that drove his father crazy.
Howard said he was staying out in L.A. at the Sunset Marquis and he went down to the pool and there was this attractive woman there. He said she had a body that wouldn't quit. He said she had the shaved head. He said it was Sinead. He said she was a good looking woman. He said if you can shave your head and still look that good you're a good looking woman. He said she had a nice ass too. Robin said she wouldn't appreciate this obituary. Howard said she was hot. He said she was always angry though. He said he wouldn't want her to catch him looking her over.
Howard said he thought she was a brave woman to go on Saturday Night Live and rip up the Pope picture. Robin said she was upset about the child molestation thing in the catholic church. Howard said he dug her. He said she had a beautiful voice. He said he got into her first album. Howard said he thought she was cool. He said everyone loved her. He said a lot of people were inspired by her.
Howard said they love Chris Cornell's version of ''Nothing Compares 2 U.'' He played some of that.
Howard said that Jimmy Buffett died of skin cancer. He said he loved the outdoors. He said that's what killed him. Robin said that he said he knew that whatever he did this lifestyle had to work around that.
Howard said he thought he'd run into the guy because he has a home near his. He said he never did. He said maybe he didn't like him because he would invite people over he knew and he never got that invite. He said he's not sure what the deal is there.
Howard said he talked about his merch earlier. He said he's kind of jealous of that. He read some details about his life and career and what they claim he's worth. Howard said he wishes he had that. He said he admires the guy. He said he's wrapped up in Sirius stock instead. Fred played the ''Zero Point Zero'' drop.
Howard said Danny produced the Hangover movies. He said he also co-produced Meatballs and Stripes.
Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:40am.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if he's afraid to go back into the studio with COVID returning. Howard said he hasn't gotten COVID yet and he got into a fight with this wife over it last night. He said that she's not as concerned with it as he is. He said he's an older dude now. He said that they're going into the city next week and Beth has plans to go out. He said she has a lunch and dinner and other things. He said they're making an effort to go out.
Howard said now they're talking about this new strain of COVID and they want to go back into lock down. He said Beth announced last night that she's going to a friend's birthday party on Saturday night. He said she's going to this and that and he just said ''We're going to get COVID'' and she went off on him about that. He asked where she is.
Howard said he's just scared but Beth thinks he's ruining things for her. Howard asked if he's wrong. He said that she says she can't do anything without him ruining it. Robin said that he can get COVID and have all of this disruption or just keep his mouth shut and let her have a good time. Howard said she was saying he should apologize and he wasn't going to.
Howard said he's neurotic. He said he has to go to the doctor tomorrow. He said he has a pee retention test to see how much he has in his bladder. He said he has to do the test to figure out how much there is in there.
Howard said COVID hospitalizations are up in the recent weeks. He said he has to talk to Beth. Robin said she wore a mask to go to the drug store the other day. She said she figured there's COVID in the drug store. Howard said he got his RSV shot the other day. Robin said that's what she was doing.
Jim said a lot of people have it now. He mentioned a bunch of celebrities who have it. Howard said he has to go into the city to do the show and he's afraid. He said that he has to go in for Demi Lovato and Paul Simon.
Jim said that you don't want the staff giving it to him. Howard said he can't be a bummer anymore. He said he has to stop. He said Beth is saying she'll quarantine and things but they're in an apartment. He said that's not going to work. He said it's not that big in there.
Howard wondered where Beth is. He kept asking where she is. Howard said she has all kinds of plans. He said he's going to call her. Beth said she'll come down when he called.
Robin said that she told him she wanted to go out and he didn't think she did. Howard said he was talking to Kimmel last night about going to Italy and things like that. He said he was ready to go. He said he really doesn't want to go. He said he wants his wife to think he's fun. He said he wants Jimmy to think that. Howard said it's ridiculous.
Beth came in so he talked about the COVID thing and her t-shirt that was slightly small on her so her belly was showing. He had to point that out.
Howard said he was telling Robin about the argument they had. Beth said oh no. She said that this is the first thing he's saying to her. She said she's not sure how he described this. Howard went over the story again to fill her in.
Beth mentioned that she's hosting the Whitney Cummings baby shower. Robin didn't know that Whitney was having a baby so that was news to her.
Howard explained the argument they had and Beth said that he's attacking her when he says they're going to get COVID. She said she gets so mad at him but he's so cute that she can't get mad. She said they're watching this horrible show together and she's trying to go to sleep. She said she wants to watch like 10 minutes of a show and go to sleep. She said the TV is so loud. She said then he says ''We're going to get COVID.'' Howard said he's worried that she's not concerned about this. He said he's nervous about the whole thing. Robin said there will always be risk. Howard said this is big risk. He said Beth will be indoors. Beth said she's going to the opening of a play. She said she'll wear a mask.
Beth said she's going to quarantine herself from him. She said she will stay in the cat room. She said because of what he said to her she's going to quarantine. Howard said now he's being punished. Beth said yes. Howard said he just wanted to talk about how concerned he was. Beth said they're getting along great. Beth said she's going to quarantine. She said she has 4 social events in a row.
Howard said Beth has a lot going on. He said look at what she's doing to him. He said she announced to him that she's going somewhere without him. Beth said she was invited to Paris with a couple of friends and she's going. Howard asked whose side Robin is on. Robin said that's a great trip to go on. She said how horrible.
Beth said her friend has a private plane. She said there won't be a commercial flight. Howard said Paris is the most romantic city in the world. Howard said he has never been but that's how it is. Beth said now it's about Howard not going with her. Howard said he has plans too.
Howard said he thought about this strip and how he was going to be alone when she goes. He said that Robin is going to have to move in with him. He said she'll have to get hose legs open for him.
Howard said he said to himself that his wife wants to go to Paris and he has to let her go. Beth said he had a wall of anger with her. Howard said he understands that she has to have a life. He said that he told her that he understands and she should go. He said that inside he was thinking ''fuck!''
Beth said that Howard said to her ''You're going to Paris without me?'' Howard said he did not. He said he waited until the second day. He said his shrink thinks that it's fabulous that she's going. He said he fired him over that. Beth said how about Howard comes to Paris at the tail end of her trip. Howard said maybe he'll do that.
Howard said everything is crazy now. Robin said the only crazy thing is Howard. Howard said he and Jimmy are going to Courteney Cox's house while Beth is away. He said that's their plan.
Howard said they may be going to Montana. He said they're not going to end up going anywhere.
Howard took a call from a fake French man who said that he was looking forward to meeting Beth. The fake French accent was awful. Howard bailed on that call pretty quickly.
Beth said she's going out on Saturday and she'll keep her distance from him. Howard said they're going to be around each other. He said they don't spend time apart. Beth said she's going to be very careful. Howard asked if she's worried. Beth said not really. Robin said Beth is not paranoid like Howard is.
Beth said that she got so mad at him last night. She said that was his attack on her last night. Beth said Howard keeps saying that they're going to get COVID. Beth said they had a bunch of people in the room that night they went to Ed Sheeran. She said they're fine. Howard said he says that every time they go out. He said he's telling her he's scared.
Beth said there are always new strains. She said they are vaccinated and boosted. Howard said Dr. Agus said they have to get the new vaccine. Beth said get it then. Howard said it's not out yet. Beth said she's not sure what to tell him then.
Howard said he's a guy who is really scared of COVID and he's stressed out. He said he won't say anything anymore. Beth wondered how many people haven't had COVID yet. SHE said she knows Howard and Robin but not many others. Beth said eventually they'll get it. She said she'd like to get it now so she's free for Paris. Howard said when he gets sick it's going to be the worst ever.
Howard said he loves being with her and he doesn't want the party to stop. Beth said she does too. Robin said he's basically saying that she can't have fun. Howard said she's the worst therapist. Robin said Howard wants Beth to deal with his anxiety instead of dealing with it himself.
Howard said he's done with both of them. He said it's every minute with Robin. He said she doesn't take his side. Robin said that Howard tells her not to do things because he'll worry about it. Beth said that with Robin he's worried about Robin but with her it's worrying about himself.
Howard said he wants to say one thing. He said he loves Beth and their life together. He said he has always been germ phobic. He said he has been afraid of diseases. He said he never worried before COVID. He said that made him cuckoo. He said that he never told Beth not to go anywhere. Beth said he makes her feel horrible. Howard said he just tells her he's concerned.
Howard said he doesn't even want to go to Paris. He said he's saying that he never tells her not to go anywhere. He said that he never has to ask him to do anything. He said he doesn't try to control her at all. He said he is paranoid about COVID so sorry. Beth said that there's more to it. She said it's about her going out and possibly getting COVID.
Howard said he feels completely unloved. He said that when she leaves he has to adjust. He said he continues on. He said he wishes her well in Paris. He said she has to do what she has to do and he'll do what he has to do. Beth said she feels like he should stay there until Tuesday night and come in to do the interview. Howard said that's on Monday. Beth said he should come in Sunday night and have dinner on his own in the city. She said then after the show on Monday he should come back to the house and she'll stay in the city until Wednesday. She said he'll be clean and clear. Howard said if she gets it then he'll get it. He said he has dinner with his daughter on Monday night. Beth said he's going to get COVID. Howard said yes he will. He said he knows he will.
Howard said he's going to take some calls. Beth said maybe just one. Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's on Beth's side. She said he's not her father. She said he can't control this. She asked if he wants her to miss Paris. Howard said not at all. He said he's not trying to stop that. He said she can handle it. He said he's not putting a guilt trip on her. Mariann said he is. She said this is just day 2 back and this is what's going on.
Howard said he loves this woman so much. He said he just wants her happiness. He said he loves when she's with her friends and all of that. He said he loves it all.
Mariann asked if there was no COVID would he be so anxious about this. Howard said no. He said he loves when his wife is with him. He said he doesn't like being in the house alone without her. He said he loves her so much. He also loves not being sick. He said he likes broadcasting and a lot of things.
Howard said his sister is on the phone. He said it's his real sister Ellen. He took the call and Ellen said that Beth is going to be mad at her. She said that Peter has COVID and got it yesterday. SHE said they were supposed to go on a trip tomorrow but they had to cancel. Ellen said she's in shock herself. She said just be careful out there.
Howard said his sister has been pretty loose. Ellen said they were just living their lives. Howard said he worries about his sister. He said he never says anything to her. He said he doesn't want to bum her out. He said he must be really sick. Ellen said she hasn't seen him since yesterday. She said he just came downstairs. Ellen told him to stay away from her. Howard said stay away from him or she'll get it. She said she knows and she's scared. Howard let Ellen go a short time later.
Howard said his sister was out there not worried at all about going out. He said that she's a world traveler. He said now his brother in law is sick. He said he doesn't like worrying.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who said that it's time to cut the shit and just deal with it. He said the staff has had it. He said we've waited for the summer break to be over and now he's back. He said that JD pissed that COVID out. He said he has all kinds of problems and he just should just get over it. Howard said he doesn't want to be lectured. He let Michael go a short time later.
Howard said he wants Beth to have a good time. Beth said everything will be okay. Howard said she doesn't know that. He said it didn't work. Beth said she'll wear a double mask in the house around him. Howard said he tried to have sex with Beth this morning before the show. She said she has never said no to sex with him. She said she is always game. She said 2 minutes before the show is a problem.
Howard said he doesn't want to go. He said if they find out his prostate is so large that he may have to go on medication. He said the problem with medication is that your dick gets soft and you get flabby. He said he's not doing that. He said he needs his dick. He said his wife needs sexual intercourse. He said the other thing is that he could go on Cialis. He said he already has a boner every day. He said it relaxes your prostate though. Robin asked why they can't give him something to relax the prostate other than Cialis. Howard said that's what the Cialis does. He said he doesn't want the pharmacist to think he can't get a boner. He said he doesn't want people thinking he can't. He said everyone cares.
Howard said he never has a problem getting hard for her. Beth said that's true. Howard said he doesn't want anyone thinking that he can't get a boner. He said he's going to fuck Beth in front of the pharmacist to prove it's not for that. Beth said don't take the test then. Howard said he's never done Cialis. He said he has to take it every day and take it on a full stomach.
Howard said he really doesn't want to take the test. He said he just wants to stay home. He said he doesn't want to miss out on his wife. He said he loves her. He said he's so nuts he doesn't know how to live.
Howard said he's thinking no Paris, no Cialis and they just stay in the house and never leave. He said she'll learn to love it.
Howard said what really fucked him up about COVID is that ball that they show when they show the virus. He said it looks really bad. He said if they didn't show that he'd be fine. He said everything irritates him. Robin said this isn't the world for him then. She said they do it to get you to stay tuned in.
Beth said she has to go out to find a mug for him. She said that she has to wear a mask when she goes out. Howard let Beth go a short time later.
Robin asked if he can believe that his sister called in with that today. Howard said she has been out living her life like nothing is going on. He said he knows Robin thinks he's nuts. He said that's how he is.
Howard said he really doesn't want to go on Cialis. He said pissing is problem. He said he imagines that the pharmacist is going to be a hot chick and she'll think he can't get it up. He said his penis works like a charm. He said he really doesn't want to have to take it. He said the fourth option is surgery and he's not doing that. He said he's not sure why he's talking the test. He said he won't do any of these options.
Gary said that he's on Howard's side in this. He said that he had a guy who used to call him and tell him who is on what in the pharmacy because they had access to all of these records. Howard said see, that's how it is.
Howard said he had to go pee outside yesterday because he can't hold his pee. He said that's how often he has to pee. He said everything is fucked up.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has to agree with Beth. SHE said that she's sorry but if he's vaccinated he'll be fine. Howard said he knows. He said he's been going out. He said he's tired of this. He hung up on her.
Howard said it's too much. Robin said she's been locked down so much that she's jealous of Howard going out. Howard said he's out there doing everything. He said he has to bring something up. He said he has to do that and then take a break. He said this is bugging the fuck out of him. He said years ago there was this Howard K. Stern guy who was with Anna Nicole Smith. He said it was so oblivious that he wasn't dating her but news organizations got them mixed up. He said they're kind of loose with the truth on the news at times.
Howard said Trump has a lawyer who has represented Howard K. Stern and they report it as if he has been involved in criminal cases. He said one news organization reports it and they all follow. Howard said do some research. He said CNN, MSNBC has done it and others too. He said that's not right. He played a bunch of news clips where they mentioned this lawyer representing Howard Stern. Howard said he's never had a criminal case. He said it's not right.
Howard said he has to play this too. He had a Baba Booey shout out that was a long one. It was during some sporting event. Robin said she heard one at a tennis match recently. Howard said tennis is almost like a crime scene. He said it's supposed to be quiet so that really gets heard.
Howard said there were other Baba Booey shout outs too. He had one of a couple of announcers who ended up talking about the show for a while. He said there's nothing better than free publicity. He played the clip where the announcers heard the Baba Booey and said those are Howard Stern fans. One of the guys said he's a Howard Stern fan as well. He said Baba Booey is Gary Dell'Abate. He explained that he's been near Howard and hasn't been able to talk to him. He called him a brilliant broadcaster. The two talked about Howard for a little longer.
Howard said that was Michael Kay. He said feel free to come up and talk to him. He said he hired someone with the same name many years ago and he doesn't think it's the same guy. He said the kid he hired had a real good voice. He said he's not sure what happened to him. He said this guy is a famous sports guy.
Robin said they spent all of that time talking about Howard so there's nothing going on in baseball. Robin said there's not a thing going on. She said that has to be a terrible job.
Howard said he hopes his sister doesn't get COVID. He said she texted him. He said he got a beautiful email from a broadcaster. He said this is a guy named Evan Cohen. He said he's apparently a bright and brilliant broadcaster. He said it was a very lovely message. He said he's not sure if he should read it. He said he talked about his influence on him. He said he's not sure he was looking to go public with that.
Howard said he also got a note from Mark Cronin who worked with them at WWOR. He said he's the Executive Producer for the show Below Deck. He said he did a bunch of shows and made a shit load of money. He said he likes when people acknowledge him and give him speeches. He said kudos to those people. He said he's like Trump so if you say something nice to him he'll say something nice about them. He said that he used to support Trump and he turned on him once he stopped supporting him.
Howard said he thanks those people who do the Baba Booey shout outs. He said that's good publicity.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks Trump is nervous. He said every day there's a new charge. Robin said they keep delaying things so he can try to get back to the Presidency and get himself off. Robin said they're not letting him delay every trial though. Howard asked what she thought about his booking photo. Robin asked how he got that lighting and all of that. She said he's lit from above and the camera is at an angle. Howard said he thought it was a good look. He said he likes how he said he weighs 215 pounds. He said he's trying to prove he's not lying but he's lying about his weight. He said he's sure he could get a year tacked on for that. He said it's great. He said this world is so nutty.
Howard said most of the summer he obsessed about death. He said he was wondering why they were given the gift of life. He said it's just taken away. He said most of his early life was horrible. He said he was listening to a scientist who said that when you die the brain dies so that's it. He said for eternity you're not going to exist. He said the points of all of this is so you can give someone else the gift of life. He asked who gives a fuck. Robin said our purpose is just to make another human being. She said the rest is just wasting time. Howard said yeah. Robin said don't think so highly of yourself.
Howard said when you finally get laid it's the greatest. He said it takes a lot of work for most of us. He said that's unless you're really good looking. He said that the girl he was with the first time wasn't that into it. He said she went along with it but she hated being in his brain the rest of his life. Howard said that's terrible. He said you finally get laid on a regular basis and then it all ends.
Howard said he has to get to an agreement on this name of this Fanni Willis. He said some say ''Fawnie'' when it's really Fanny. He said it's not Fawnie. He said he's not sure what's going on with that.
Howard said no one knows how to spell it either. He said they should spell it Fanny. Robin said that or Fannie. Howard said no one knows how to say it. He said he has to take a break. He said he gets distracted. He said he has a nurse on the phone who says that the Cialis has different dosages for the bladder thing. He took her call and she explained it to him and how it won't be confused for the erection stuff. She also told him to cut back on his fluids. Howard said he already does that. He let her go a short time later.
Howard said it can't get worse than this. He said he's ashamed of everything. He said he's very famous. Robin said dignity goes right out the window when you go in for surgery. She said you never want to look them in the eye again.
Howard said Gary was playing Robin on his Summer School show. He said that she was very angry sounding. He said something bad must have happened that day. He said he thought she was upset with Gary over something. He said she has to hear this. He played a clip of her talking to Gary and getting kind of upset about what Gary was asking her.
Howard said he has another clip where Gary asked her something and Robin sounded pissed. Howard played a clip and Robin was talking about her cancer and sounded pissed. Robin said she is pissed about that. Howard said she has to allowed to vent.
Howard played a clip of Gary asking Robin about Jackie and she freaked out on Jackie. Robin said she got sick of Jackie jerking them around. She said it was an every year thing. She said she never thought of him as a team member.
Howard said you can't argue with that. He said she just sounded irritated by the whole thing. Robin said she was always irritated by him. She said she wanted to kill him. She said if she had her druthers he wouldn't even exist.
Howard said he could play that whole Gary tape but Robin was biting Gary's head off. Gary said she was good. He said everyone loved her on Summer School. Jason said he loved her on the show. He said she's just schooling Gary on everything he said to her. Howard said he doesn't think Robin likes Gary. Robin said that's not true. Howard said he has to set Gary straight on things a lot.
Howard played the song and said he loves the song so much but he can't sing along with it. He said he loves the song because it's about someone doing well and having someone say you're an outsider. He said that he felt like an outsider growing up. He said Gary is making money as a musician now and he finally buys some land and this dude has to confront him telling him to get out of his country. He said it's such a shit feeling. He said he loves this song so much. He played more of the song.
Howard said it's very catchy. He said that's the problem with it. He said you can't go around singing it. He said he can't remember the verses. He said he can only think of the N-word part. He said there are people around and he can't be singing that. Howard said it's too much.
Robin said those people have to have someone to look down on. She said they're already miserable.
Howard said someone suggested he replace the N-word with ''Buddy''. He started singing the song with Buddy instead of the N-word. It was working kind of.
Robin said she was watching some commercial with P. Diddy or whatever his name is had guys singing this tune and he asked them for more funk. they sing and then the guy next to them says ''Man, that is bad as fudge.'' She said you know he didn't want to say fudge. She said he wanted to say fuck. Howard kept singing the Gary Clark song. He tried Ninja for the N-word but said it's too close. He said he may get caught with that. Howard played more ''This Land'' and talked about how good that guy is.
Howard said the other guitarist he's obsessed with is Eddie Van Halen. He said they have this book these guys did where they got into so much detail with. He said these guys spent 50 hours with the guy. He said he loves Eddie. He said he blew it with him. He said he was out of his mind with Eddie. He said he blew it with the interview. He said Robin doesn't even know about what happened. Robin said he was in the studio and it was hard to talk to him.
Howard said Eddie would call him off the air and he was just out of his mind himself and didn't put any time into it. He said this book is something else. He said Steve Nowicki should listen to it. He said it's his jam. He said the two guys who wrote it are good. He said you really have to be into it though. He said they ask Eddie so many things in detail. Howard said he's also obsessed with John 5. He said he's good too. He said he can really play. Howard said he really captivates him.
Howard asked if Steve listened to that book Eruption. Steve said he met one of the authors at Eddie-Con last year. He said the book is so good. Howard said Eddie was amazing. He said he would take a guitar and try to get the sound he could get out of it. He went through some of the stuff he learned from this book. He said Eddie was obsessed with guitar. He said he was a fucking genius. He said he understood the instrument and how it worked. He said you're never going to see a guy like this again.
Howard said every fucking minute of their lives was music. He said he loved it too. Steve said the way he innovated amplifiers was something too. He said he fixed his amp up to a light switch and he revolutionized amps because of that. He went into the weeds explaining what that was all about.
Howard said what a fucking crime that guy is gone. He said then you have shlub who sit around all day doing nothing.
Howard asked Steve if he wants to play something. Steve went into an explanation about how Van Halen worked and played something for Howard. He said a lot of Eddie's techniques were inspired by David Lee Roth. Howard said Eddie was irritated by every lead singer. He said he hated all of David's lyrics and he hated Sammy for things too. He said he didn't like anyone. He said nothing was right.
Steve and Howard were going back and forth with their Eddie talk. Steve was playing like Eddie for Howard. Howard said Eddie only liked Alex Van Halen because he was his brother. He said Eddie hated Michael Anthony. He said that guy is so good on bass. He said he has some of the greatest bass lines. He said Eddie hated the guy and wanted him out of the band. He said he didn't want him getting any of the money. He said Michael has been there from the beginning. He said what a talent the guy was. He said everything bothered him though.
Robin asked if that reminds him of anyone. Howard said he had to throw Fred out of his band.
Howard said he was reading the book and the Wolfgang guitar is the greatest ever built. He said that's what Eddie claims. Steve had one. He said it really is the best combination of everything. Howard asked why everyone doesn't play it. Steve said it should be played by more people. He said there are people he sees and they know exactly what they're doing. Howard had him play something for him. Steve started playing a bunch of famous Van Halen guitar riffs. Howard started singing along with him.
Howard said Eddie said in the book that the Wolfgang guitar barely goes out of tune. Steve said his is slightly out of tune and it's driving him nuts.
Howard said they were talking about Steve's wedding yesterday. He said they were really ripping on it. He said they were going light on him too because off the air they were even worse. Steve said he should have listened to Fred and not had a big wedding. Howard said it's good he wasn't there. He said he would have really gone nuts. He said he doesn't eat Shake Shack. He said he wouldn't have enjoyed that at all.
Howard said he would have flipped that truck over like Godzilla if he didn't get his food. He asked if everything is cool with Steve. Steve said it's all good. He said that he kept his wife sequestered. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and spent a minute talking about the song ''Sweet Jane''. He said that mist have been some Jane. Robin said she thought it was Mary Jane. Howard said maybe. He said he thought Jane was a hot chick that some other guy banged. He said there's nothing better than pussy. Robin let out an ''Ugh'' to that. Howard said someone once said that ''Pussy is the greatest'' and that was Mark the Bagger.
Howard said he's a pretty bright guy but he's like an idiot in a strip club. Robin said she has heard some mind numbing conversations with Howard and a stripper. Howard said he has told her to get a lap dance but she won't listen.
Howard said it's time for the Radio Hall of Fame again. He said they have Mad Dog as the host of the event. He said he wasn't able to get into the hall of fame until last year. He said now he's the host for the induction. He said that's their old buddy. Robin said it's amazing he's all in. She said now he's running it. Howard said he almost own sit at this point.
Howard said John De Bella is getting into the hall of fame. He said they were brutal to that guy. He said he didn't deserve it. He said they were just very hungry for acceptance. Robin said they were like a wrecking crew. She said if you were in the way you were going down. Howard said he was in the way. He said John is getting into the hall of fame. He said he retired this year. He said good for him. He said he thinks John is a little older than him. He said he's not sure if it's that hard working in radio. He said he wonders when he's going to hang it up. He said it's not that hard though so just keep yapping into the microphone.
Howard said he thinks a lot of guys retire from regular radio because it's such a shit business now. He said even the guys who made good money are getting their salary cut. He said he understands when construction workers retire. He said your body can't take it after a while. He said they're just talking though. He said if you retire from radio you should be made to take a vow of silence. He said you just have to shut up now.
Howard read about how much tickets are to this thing. He said what a rip off that is. He said Shadoe Stevens is getting inducted too. He said that's great for him. He said he still gets stuff from him. He said he's a nice guy.
Howard said Jerry House is getting into the hall of fame. He doesn't know who that is. He read about some of the other people who are being inducted. He ran down the list. He said Pat St. John is getting inducted. He said he's on SiriusXM now. He said he wanted to be Pat. He said he was good. He did an impression of him making his voice really deep. Howard said he was a real professional. He said he's sure he did some commercials after the radio gig. He said he must have made some good money doing that.
Howard said he did an audition for a commercial but he got rejected. He said he saw Pat once and he looked kind of like a lion with that big hair. He said he looked like a tough guy too. He said he looked like he could kick your ass.
Howard said Pat is getting inducted. He mentioned someone named Nina who is being inducted. He thought she had interviewed him. Gary said that was Terry Gross. Howard said that's right.
Howard went through some other inductees. He said they have a museum of broadcast communications. He said he can't think of anything more depressing. He said the Holocaust museum might be less depressing. Howard said it sounds like a place you threaten to send your kids to if they're bad.
Howard said he'd like to know what they could have at that museum. He made stuff up about what they could have there. He was doing impressions of radio guys talking about that stuff too.
Howard played the call where they had fake Patrick call in and the hosts thought it was really him. The impression didn't sound much like the real Patrick. He had a little bit of gravel to his voice and the hosts fell for it. Fake Patrick made some comments that threw the hosts off. They didn't know what to say to him. They said he just threw them off. Then he said he was in the locker room and played some gay porn clips. They stuck with it for a while and hung up on him. Then they took a call from a fake coach who was still doing the gay porn thing. They hung right up on him.
Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about how that worked out. Robin said it was awesome. Howard said he love those guys. He said they have some radio show. He did an impression of those guys. Howard said there are no more standards anymore on radio.
Howard thanked Richard for that. He said that was all his stuff. Richard got on and talked about the Chiefs for a bit. He talked about therm starting up tomorrow. Howard said JD had that guy Travis Kelce in his fantasy league. JD said he had him last year and he never gets injured. He said he felt confident in taking him. Howard asked JD how the fantasy football thing works and how he's going to deal with that player being injured. Richard said he'll have to find another tight end.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Richard and JD about the fantasy football thing and football in general.
Howard said he heard JD doesn't trust the fantasy football league commissioner. JD said he never said that. He said Blitt comes up with questions. Howard asked what he knows about this. Blitt told Howard that JD is upset with the guy's texts and stuff like that. Richard said he's right about some of that. JD voiced his complaints about that and said he should just deal with the rules and not tell people who to pick and all of that.
Howard said he thinks JD has a point there. He agreed with him. He said he'd kiss that guy's balls and let him keep doing the job that's taking up his life. He asked what's wrong with the guy that he wants to be the commissioner. Richard said he's a big fan of the show and a fantasy expert.
Howard asked JD about going to a Phish concert with Blitt. JD said he's not a Phish guy but he was asked to go. He said he was told it would be great. JD said he went with him and Jason and some others. He said they get to this box and he had envisioned this box where they could chill out and maybe he could hang back and do whatever. He said the box was the size of a closet and there were like 100 people in there. He said they were Phish heads. He said the music isn't his thing. He said they're not horrible. He said the first song was like 20 minutes long. He said he had like 2 drinks in that first song.
JD said that Jason was going nuts jumping up and down to the music. Howard said he doesn't have to hear the song exactly like the record but 20 minutes is a long time. Blitt said it's a good thing when they explore like that. Howard asked Blitt what he was on. Blitt said he was on some mushrooms and edibles. He said he's perfectly mood enhanced. Howard said he had some booze too. Jon said he did.
Howard asked if JD did mushrooms. JD said not at all. He said he just drank. He said he spent time talking to Blitt's girlfriend. He said she's not into the music either. He said he just kept going back for wine. He said he may have finished the bottle.
Howard said he head the new girlfriend is hot. JD said she's very good looking and very cool. He said they went to the Eric Andre birthday show and he went over to their house. He said she was there then and she was cool there. Howard said he heard this one actually likes Jon. He said the others may not have.
Richard asked if Blitt pranks her. Blitt said he does do characters for her first thing in the morning.
Howard said he heard they're gong to test out living together for a month. Jon said they are going to try that. He said they started dating in December. Howard said he heard he's less fun now. Jon said he's more fun. JD said he doesn't see it.
Chris Wilding said that the best Jon is the single Jon. He said that's when he's fun. He said this is slow for Jon too. He said he's going slow with this one. He said he usually proposes on the fourth date.
JD said he's done with Phish shows. He said he's not going to anymore. Blitt was trying to get him to come to another one. Howard said JD would go to see Filet-O-Fish if he was invited.
Jason asked if Chris is upset that Jon isn't single because he is. Chris said not at all. He said Jon is a good wing man but he's happy for him.
Howard asked Blitt how hot this girl is. He asked if she's a 10. Jon said she's a 15. He said she's smart and funny. He said what he loves is that she's the most comfortable in her own skin. He said that rubs off on him. Howard asked how hot she is. Jon said she's 5'6'' or 5'7'' or so. Howard asked if people go ''Oh shit!'' when she walks in the room. Jon said they do. Howard said she is hot then. He said she's the one who makes guys angry with him.
Gary said she's very smart and she has a career. He said she wrote a big thing for the NY Times. Howard asked if Gary got a big boner with her. Gary said he didn't.
Howard asked what would happen if he got a boner in front of her. Gary said it doesn't happen like it used to.
Howard found out that Jon was on Raya and found this girl. Chris said that they let everyone on that app now. Howard said this girl must be famous then. Jon said she is a little bit.
Jon said he was on the subway with JD and he asked if people wanted to see some amateur magic. He said JD tried walking away. JD said he kept saying that he doesn't do magic. Howard said this guy puts JD through hell. Chris said JD loves it. JD said he doesn't expect it any time. He said every time in the elevator he does stuff. He said he tells him not to.
Howard asked what Jon has done to him in the elevator. JD said he'll do bits for people in the elevator.
JD said Jon will get all excited if someone recognizes him in public. He said he offers up pictures and autographs for him. The guys told stories that they've told about JD and Blitt before.
The guys were talking about JD's best friend who is actually Jon Hein. Blitt said JD is his best friend but it's okay that he's not his best friend back. Howard said he's heard enough of this shortly after that.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he was annoyed with Ross throwing Gary under the bus about him bum rushing Bruce. Howard said he didn't. He said he told a cute story about Gary. He said he hasn't upset with that. Howard let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what musician he'd bring back from the dead if he could. Howard said John Lennon. He said there would be no question. He said everyone would do the same. He said the other guy might be Jimi Hendrix. He said maybe he was done with great music though. He said he was doing some jazz stuff by that point. He said he may have had some great stuff left in him.
Howard said then he'd bring back Steve Harwell from Smashmouth. He said that would actually be Eddie Van Halen. He said there were a lot. He ran through a few others. He said Kurt Cobain was good but he was miserable. He said he'd had it with this world. He said Steve Harwell was at the Playboy mansion show they did. He said it was pretty awesome. He said they were all hanging out on the floor in the dark in that room at the mansion.
Howard said rest in peace to the two. Howard said how about that Mitch McConnell locking up. He said that guy found a doctor to say he's okay. He said that's wild. Howard had Chris Wilding do his Mitch impression after that. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mitch waiting to come in. He had to axe his way in. Howard did the bit where Fake Mitch locked up. They played old modem sounds and error message sounds as Mitch was locking up.
Howard said it must be great being a senator. He said you have all of these people around you all the time. He said he's afraid he may be decomposing in front of them though. Chris did more of his impression of Mitch locking up.
Robin said she passed out once at the hospital. she said they were all yelling at her wondering where she went.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Anderson Cooper said ''Jizz'' on CNN last night. He played a clip for Howard over his phone. Howard said they might have to hire this guy because he found that. He said JD may have been too busy at the Phish concert to find that.
Howard said he should end the show. He said he was on Demi Lovato's Instagram. He said she has like 9 million followers. He said that's something. He said she'll be in next week. He said the following week Paul Simon will be on. He said that Demi actually has 157 million followers. He said 9 million sounds high to him. He said that's like half the people in this country. He said it's impressive. He said maybe he should do the interview on Instagram. He said she's got more followers than there are people in Russia. He said it's impressive.
Howard said on Friday they're airing the Ed Sheeran concert from the Hampton's. He said he really enjoyed it. He said he was there and he talked to Ed. He said he felt like Ed was looking at him while he was performing. He said after the concert they were at Jon Bon Jovi's house. He said he talked to Ed and Ed said he was looking at him. He said he thought he was really into the show and the music and it meant a lot to him. He said he thought Robin would like that. He said his daughter was there so he was like her hero that night. He said she was there talking to Paul McCartney and Ed. He said she knows how to shmooze. Robin said he has some very sociable kids. She said they're not like Howard at all.
Howard said he talks to his son in law more than his daughter. He said he's great. He said he's in the car business. He said he's looking for a new car so he's been talking to him. He said he's a good guy.
Howard said his mother saw pictures from his daughter's wedding and she said that she never thought of him as handsome but he looked handsome there. He said he told her thanks, he thinks. He said he hopes his mother doesn't find out that his brother in law has COVID. He said it's too much for her. He said she'll go crazy. Howard said he may have to call Ellen right after the show to let her know not to tell her. Howard went into his impression of his mother and went on and on with her complaining about everything.
Howard ended the show around 10:35am.