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Today's special was over around 11:20am.
Howard started the show asking Robin if she got his text. Robin said she did and asked if he got her's. Howard said he didn't. Howard said her's comes up in green for some reason. Robin said it's got to be Howard. Howard said it's not him, it's her. Howard said the green means something but he's not sure what. Howard had to blow his nose after that. He said he waited a half hour to do that. He said he's keeping it real.
Howard said his thing is to get on air and do everything. Robin said he hasn't taken a crap. Howard said it might be time for him to retire like Jon Stewart. Robin said he announced that next year is his last year. Howard said he just started watching the show and now he's leaving.
Howard played some audio of Jon Stewart announcing his retirement. Howard said it got him thinking. He said he really should retire because he wants to. Robin said she should do it. Howard said there is another side of him that says he shouldn't. Robin said he shouldn't then. Howard said that's what got him on America's Got Talent again. He said that schedule is awful. He said he's going to be working on all of his vacations and he won't be able to enjoy them.
Howard said this is his last year on his contract at Sirius. He said maybe he should call it quits. Robin said you don't have to make an announcement. Howard said this Jon Stewart thing is very Letterman-esque. Howard played more of Jon Stewart's announcement. He said that 17 years is 16 years and 5 months longer than he's held any other job. Jon says that it's someone else's turn to try this job. Jon talked about the ideas he has in his head and how he's going to have dinner on a school night with his family. He said he's heard that his family are lovely people.
Howard said for his announcement he's going to call every listener and thank them. Robin said that's a long time he'll spend doing that. Howard said scratch that idea. Howard said Jon was just on the show and he asked if he was going to re-sign. He played a clip of Jon talking about how he didn't know if he was going to re-sign again. Howard asked Jon if he was burnt out on the show and Jon said sure. He said Howard has probably had the same feeling. Jon said you can never find that perfect balance. He said he's fortunate but he also has 2 young children who won't like him that much longer.
Robin said Howard doesn't have those questions. Howard said no but his question is what it would be like not to work. He said there hasn't been a time he hasn't worked.
Howard said he had a week off and he got to paint a bit. He said he enjoys waking up and going to bed late and all of that. He said that he can deal with a loose schedule. He said he would keep working until the day he dies if he could just pop on the channels and do a show when he feels like it. Howard said they could play him by the show. Howard said no one is going to pay him to do that.
Robin said that the late night shows are a format. Howard said they don't really have a format. He said if he had producers to tell him what to do every morning then he could do that. Robin said when he goes this whole thing goes.
Howard asked Robin if she watched the 40th anniversary Saturday Night Live. Robin said she hasn't watched it yet. She said she taped it. Robin said she hasn't watched it yet. Howard said he DVRd it and watched it because Dan is coming in.
Howard said Eddie Murphy was on the show and he thinks he was asked to come in and he said no. He said he probably didn't want to do any sketches. He said he probably asked Chris Rock to introduce him. He said he's not sure why he's so humorless and why he won't be funny. Robin said he still wants to perform but not as a comedian. She said he still wants to sing.
Howard said he thought Melissa McCarthy did a great Chris Farley impression. He said that it was very Chris Farley like. Howard said he thought that it was funny when they played Phil Hartman ripping his arms off as a weight lifter. Howard said the show was too long though. He said they could have trimmed it back.
Howard said there are some incredible performers on that show. He said he has to give it to Steve Martin. Howard said he is just on his game every single time. Howard said he's just good. Robin said she is a huge fan of everything he does. Howard said Dan Aykroyd was there too but they didn't give him much to do. Robin asked where he was on that Saturday Night Live list. Howard said he was in the top 5. Fred said he's actually number 6. Robin said it's crazy to rank those people.
Howard said Miley Cyrus did a Paul Simon song and he liked it. Fred said she's really good. He said she's trying to become an adult and it's just not coming off right. Howard said it has to be hard. Howard said he was invited to the show but he didn't want to just sit in the audience. Howard said he forgot he was on Saturday Night Live once. He said that he asked to write his own segment on the show and Lorne Michaels probably thought he was nuts. Howard said he went on the fake news thing and said the new cast sucked. He said it wasn't cool. He said he was into his own thing at the time. Howard said he was arrogant. He said that wasn't right of him. Robin said that's part of being the King of All Media. Howard said he came in with that super long hair and all of that but Lorne was very polite and sweet. He said they hustled his ass right out of there.
Howard played Miley Cyrus' performance from Saturday Night Live. He said he thinks that Sia is having a big influence on these performers. He said he listened to her whole album and she's really good. He said the Rosie O'Donnell special was really good too. He said she's at the top of her game with her stand up. Robin said she talks about the heart attack and all of that. Howard said she's very loose and very funny.
Howard asked Robin if she saw 50 Shades of Grey. Robin said she did. She said she picked up her phone at one point during a love scene. That's how bad it was. Howard said Beth read the book and she said she hated it but she couldn't put it down. Howard asked Robin if she was aroused by the whole thing. Robin said you have to get good actors to do that stuff. She said you can't just put anyone in it. Robin said they go and hire anyone and they can't act to save their lives. Howard asked if Dakota Johnson was a disaster. Robin said they weren't able to find anyone with a name to do it. Howard said the guy from Sons of Anarchy left the project. Robin said he might have done a better job. Robin said the guy in it wasn't that good. She said she didn't believe he was that powerful. Robin said she didn't read the book so he has to act it for her. She said they were just saying lines.
Howard asked Robin if they got that guy Hozier in there. Robin said she would believe that. Howard said that Robin said she loves that guy.
Howard said Hozier left Robin a message. Howard played some phony clips they made of Hozier calling Robin and then had Taylor Swift calling Robin to tell her that she's seeing him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thought of the Eddie Murphy speech. Howard said it was a diaster. He said they set him up for something funny and he didn't do anything. Howard said he could have come out and done something funny. He said they had this big set up of something but they he came out and didn't do anything. He said it was more like an Academy Award speech. He said it laid an egg. Howard said if he didn't want to do anything then he shouldn't have been there. The caller said he was surprised he screwed it up like that. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
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Howard asked Jeff if he has neighbors who come over to watch. Jeff said he didn't invite anyone. He said he just watched it himself. Robin asked if he has any kind of party. Jeff said ''Oh come on.'' Howard said Jeff doesn't want to do that. Howard said he was reading about homeless people on the streets and they're staying on the streets when it's 3 degrees out. Howard said Jeff has a trailer in Albany and he has shelter and heat. Robin said some people don't want to be on the grid. Howard asked if Jeff is on the grid. Robin said he is because he gets checks from the government. Jeff said it was -34 degrees the other night up there with the wind chill. Howard said Jeff is just getting along up there.
Howard took a call from Joey Boots who said he was watching the Saturday Night Live red carpet and Chevy Chase came on. He said they showed his hands and they were shaking uncontrollably. He said he looked really bad. Then he came out and did his monologue and he had his hands in his pockets. He said maybe he has Parkinson's or something. Howard said he doesn't know anything about that.
Howard said Joey is still doing his podcast. Joey said he does it on Podtrash.com. Howard said he's interested in the High Pitch Eric stuff. Joey said he has Ass Napkin Ed and Hanzi on too. Howard said he has to play a couple of clips from Joey's show. Howard said he can chop it up and get to the good stuff this way. Joey said he does the show with Gonzo Shitcock who is multi talented.
Howard said that Joey is trying to help Eric with his lifestyle. He played a clip of Eric talking to someone on the phone and telling the guy that he had pizza from 7-Eleven. He said that he went from physical therapy to 7-Eleven. Eric had gone to the gym to work out but then he had that pizza. Howard said if you're going to eat those calories at least get some good pizza.
Howard asked Joey if he gets frustrated with Eric. Joey said he does but he knows who he's talking to. Howard played another clip of Joey talking to Eric and talking about how they're both going to weigh in and video tape it. Joey said he's going to send a copy to Howard and both of them are going to weigh in every Saturday. Eric asked if they can do it on Sunday. Joey said they have to do it on Saturday. Eric said he has to go somewhere on Saturday. He said he's going to do it Sunday before they go out. Eric refused. Joey said Eric is a phony. Howard got a laugh out of that. He said he could listen to that all day.
Joey said Eric still hasn't weighed in. Howard said the whole thing is comical. Joey said he knows a lot of the stuff he tells Eric is the stuff he should be telling himself but he's not as bad off as Eric is.
Howard played another clip of Joey talking about some slashings around Union. Joey said they had a picture of the guy and then Eric said the guy was the N-word. Joey asked Eric why he's on the air saying that. Eric said they're not being censored by the FCC. Joey said that doesn't mean he should say that. Eric said that he's not being censored by the FCC. Joey told him not to say that on his show. He said he's not going to yell out ''Jews are evil'' or anything like that. Eric then said that blacks are evil. He said they're good for one thing. He said they're good for Aunt Jemima syrup and pancakes. Joey told him that Robin is going to hear that and then Eric said he's just kidding.
Howard said the KKK is building Eric a giant robe right now. Howard said Joey got through to Eric and he did apologize. Howard played that clip too. Eric said he was sorry to all the black people out there. Howard said the good thing is that he has no listeners so no one heard that. Joey said he actually does. He said you can find his podcast on iTunes and all of that.
Howard said according to the guys out there Eric likes throwing the N-word around. Robin wondered where it's being thrown around. Howard asked who is hearing that. Will Murray came in and said that he does throw it around a lot. He said there was a video of him out in Union Square Park throwing it around. He said people were telling him not to do that and he kept doing it. Howard said there is no FCC on podcasts. He said he is right about that.
Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey from the NY Daily News. Marianne said she thinks that Hozier looks exactly like Howard. Howard said she's not the first person to say that. Howard said he's heard that from other people and its like Robin is saying that she's in love with him. Robin said Howard did send her flowers on Valentine's day. Howard said he did.
Robin said she didn't notice that Hozier looked like Howard. Howard said of course not. Howard asked Benjy if he's still enemies with Marianne. Benjy asked what he means. Howard said he knows they don't talk. Howard said Benjy feels she insulted Elisa. Benjy said he has tried to reach out to her but she continually insults her. Howard asked Benjy what he did for the week. Benjy said ''Uh...'' and Howard said that's enough of an answer for him. Howard said he wondered what he was doing asking him a question. He said he had a momentary lapse.
Howard played a prank call Evil Dave made to a homeless shelter. Howard said that's funny. He said he has to get that to Dave. Robin said Dave is amazing.
Howard said that he's more interested in hearing him reading the news now that he knows he's a psychopath. Howard said he thinks he's confused and possibly ill. Howard said the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Robin said if your job is to pick up garbage and you don't pick it up then you get fired. Howard said he does read the news. Robin said he wrote that story too. Howard said he didn't tell it on NBC news. Benjy said he did. Howard said he did a tribute to a guy on the news but he didn't tell that story on the news. Robin said your anchor can't be the humiliated guy either. Howard said he should admit he lied. He said he doesn't think he should be fired.
Robin said they say that NBC makes $200 million from the evening news and they don't let people mess with it. Howard said they should let him keep his job. Robin disagrees. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
Howard said it seems that he has a pattern of lying. He said he continues to lie about incidents. Brian said that there are people firing upon his apartment right now. He said he has made a mistake. He said they weren't insurgents. They were sound effects off the internet. He played them again and they sounded like gun shots. Then he did an impression of Tom Brokaw defending him. He said that wasn't the real Tom and it was him doing a bad impression of Tom.
Brian said that he was flying over the insurgents now. He said that he caught an RPG in his mouth too. Howard said he had to hang up on him after that. Howard said Robin asked what he's doing and that's it.
Howard wondered what Brian Williams is really doing. He said that is a strange thing. Robin said there are people who say that he's a funny guy. She said she read that he tried to get the Tonight Show. Robin said he tries to bump it up on the air. She said you can't make up stories when you're not in your news chair.
Howard said the guy who has to be happy is Steve Kroft. Howard said he drank champagne out of a woman's ass. He came out and admitted that and he's not leaving his job. That led to Howard playing some audio of Ronnie reading some transcripts of Steve Kroft on 60 Minutes reading the lines in a sexy voice.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Brian Williams was the biggest dick to the fans when Howard was at Letterman one night. She said that he snubbed them. She said that Pat O'Brien had a scandal too. She asked what's wrong with people. Howard said if you're a rational person you can't understand this. Howard said that's what he was saying. He said this is unexplainable. Howard said maybe a psychiatrist can explain it. Howard said he doesn't care who reads the news. He said that the women on FOX News are all bikini models and he doesn't care.
Howard said Brian Williams should come out and say that he is just a news reader. Howard said he should come out like Steve Kroft and just say that he can still read the news. Robin said he has to be trusted. Mariann said that he's so smug though. Robin said that he has something in his contract that says he can be fired for this. Robin read what it says in the contract and why this can get him fired. Howard said Dick Cheney lied about Iraq and he's on the top of the world.
Mariann said if Howard retires then she's going to listen to Joey Boots' podcast. Howard said that's the closest you can get. Mariann said she saw Howard's paintings and they're getting really good. Howard said that's his hobby now. He said he's painting and sketching.
Mariann said she and Beth were talking months ago and she asked if there is a Yoda cartoon coming out. Howard said there is talk of that but he doesn't know. Mariann said she could play a crow on the show.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who said he thought Eddie Murphy was hanging on to that white woman like she was going to run away. Howard said she was really hot. Howard said he thinks she's fucking the funny out of Eddie. He said Eddie can get any woman he wants. He said he doesn't get why he would tarnish his image by going on Saturday Night Live and come out and do a thank you speech like he did. Howard said he might have some of that to play.
Howard played Eddie Murphy's speech on the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary show. Eddie didn't say anything funny. He just talked about how great it feels and how happy it makes him that people appreciate what he did.
Gary said that they edited that clip for the internet. He said they took out the pauses and the little screw up at the end. Howard said he might have to ask Dan Aykroyd when he comes in what he thought of that. Howard said it was very odd. Robin said that maybe he doesn't want to fuck up his legacy. Tommy said it's too late. Gary said they built that into a huge thing and he thinks he was mad at them over something. Gary said he thinks he was upset with David Spade and what went on with him. Howard said he thought it was awkward and he shouldn't have even gone on.
Tommy asked if Howard went to the secret Prince show the other night. Howard said he went to one and the guy got on stage and didn't turn the lights on. Howard said it was like listening to a record. Tommy said he saw a picture and it looked like he was in the dark again. Robin said these are artists and that's what they do. Howard said you go to see Prince and you expect to actually see him. Howard said that Sia is kind of the same. He said it's fun watching her sing but she covers her face. He said she's a huge talent.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard going out on the street and asking people about the HPV thing and if they can tell when a woman has it. One guy was talking about the smell and how you can figure it out from that. Howard said it's an epidemic. Robin asked if he has stopped. Howard said he's married and his wife is clean. Howard said guys think they can look at a woman and tell if she's a dirty girl. Howard said that has to stop. He said they can appear clean when they're not.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard asking a guy on the street about vaccines and what he thinks about them. The guy said he thinks that the public is given dirty vaccines with weird stuff in it but people like Obama and Bloomberg are given the clean ones.
Howard played a new song parody about Robin. It was kind of slow. Robin said it was like a dirge. Howard played another one that was a little more upbeat. Robin said that one gets right to the point. Howard said that's Eli Braden singing about her. Howard said he thinks that he would risk throat cancer for her.
Howard said the days of casual sex are over. He said you can't just have oral sex. Howard said you just have to get to the point and then get back to watching TV. Howard said you can still finger a girl. Howard said that even kissing might be over. He said there is talk about how it could be transmitted that way too. Howard said that the Eskimos would rub their noses together to kiss. Robin said they're crazy. Howard said no, they're smart.
Howard played another song parody about Robin. Robin said she'd like to know the throat cancer in black men since Howard thinks they don't eat pussy. Howard said he never said that.
Howard said someone wrote to him and said that Amy Pascal had to leave Sony pictures so the terrorists won. Howard said that she never should have been fired. Robin said people have to do business and if your actions... Howard said that she should have been forgiven because it's a matter of defeating the terrorists. Howard said that's what he's saying. Robin said that she isn't sure you can isolate your CEO over that if they marginalize it.
Howard said he needs someone to make him a ceramic bowl for him. He said he can't find someone to do this. He said he needs 3 or 4 bowls to be made for him. He said he has specific things done and he can't find someone to do it. Howard said he has contacted some people and they're all psycho. Howard said they're not psycho but they are artists. Howard said that his mother used to do ceramics. Howard said his mother made an eagle that he hung in his room. Howard said they give you the mould and you paint it. Howard said anyone can do it. Howard said he needs someone to make him a mold. Gary said he knows a woman who was an intern there who does her own ceramics. Howard said he needs that. He told Gary to contact her.
Robin said back in the early days people all did that stuff on their own. Howard said he and Robin used to do that until they had to make their own tires.
Howard said that Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from Rick Solomon once again. He said she's married and divorced him 3 times now. Howard said there are women who just can't get it right. Robin said that it might be the guy. Howard said that they don't know the story there. Howard said they do say if you love someone then set them free 3 times.
Howard read a story about a woman who died in Peru after drinking tea from a Shamen. Robin said there are a lot of fake Shamen there. Robin said there are a lot of recreational tourists too. Howard said she should come out and say she was out of her mind and recommend that people don't try that. Robin said the Indians of Peru have been using Ayahuasca for centuries. Howard said that her shamen was a good one. Robin said that people go down there to get high and they run into danger. Howard asked if he had an authentic Shamen diploma. Robin said you have to go with people who are reputable. Howard said Robin was shitting and throwing up at the same time. Robin said that's what you do on that stuff. Howard said Robin thinks that's normal. Robin said she never said it was normal. Gary asked Robin if she can say 100 percent that she was not molested. Robin said she was awake and aware the whole time.
Howard said while they were away Bruce Jenner was involved in a car crash that killed someone. Howard said maybe it's true what they say about female drivers since Bruce is a woman now. Howard played a song parody about Bruce becoming a woman. Howard said Psych is on fire. He said he thinks they should stick to Robin song parodies though. Howard said Psych had more than one. He played another one about Bruce Jenner becoming a woman. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and listened to the Zeppelin song with some Yoko screaming clips over it. Howard said he remembers hearing that song for the first time. Howard said that he had smoked a ton of weed at this guy's house and the song came on. He said he didn't know what to make of it. Howard said the song was so great.
Howard said that he can't wait for Dan Aykroyd to get there. He said he is the greatest. Howard said he doesn't like it when they mix porn with comedy. He said he realized that. Howard said he was on YouPorn last night jerking off. He said that they had a girl who had sex with her teacher and it was serious. Howard said that the teacher was reading her paper and the girl walks in and then she blows the teacher. Howard said he liked that but then JD found this clip with Richard. Howard said they're trying to be funny with an Obama impersonator meeting with the commissioner of fellatio. Howard said it's just not funny. Howard played some of the audio of the odd scene. Howard said he needs a story. He said this has also crept into gay porn. He started to explain it but then just gave up and played the clip. It was the President meeting with his gay secretary. In the clip they had another Presidential theme going on. Howard played that and then another clip of a President talking to a woman and introducing her to his ''penis in chief.'' The chick starts sucking him off not too far into that clip. Howard said he wants comedy or porn, not both.
Howard said that he won that award for best hair before they went on vacation. Howard said that Arnold Schwarzenegger sent in a clip. Howard played the clip of a fake Arnold talking about the hair award being bullshit.
Howard played a clip of Richard out on the street asking people about Howard's hair. One guy said he didn't like the long hair. Howard said he has a Jay Leno congratulations clip. It was an impersonator of course. He had an Bill Clinton impersonator and a Wanda Sykes impersonator clip too. Howard said Seth Rogen sent in congratulations too. Howard said finally they had Perez Hilton. That was their Perez impersonator Kyle Dunnigan.
Howard said they have video of Ryan Reynolds admitting defeat on HowardStern.com. Howard said that they also have their Saturday Night Live on stern special on Friday night on Howard 101. He said that Big Foot and his girlfriend will be on the show tomorrow. He had to take a break so they could get to Dan Aykroyd.
Howard came back and said he's been asking Gary to get Dan Aykroyd on the show for the past 20 years. He said he thinks the guy is brilliant. Dan came in and Howard said he can't believe it. Howard asked if he is an American citizen. Dan said not really. He said he's a resident. Howard said he admires him so much. Howard thanked him for coming in.
Dan said he used to live in Manhattan and the buildings sway and creek and move when you're in them. He said he doesn't get to Manhattan that much. He said he lives up near Canada near Watertown, New York. He said he doesn't get down there that much.
Howard asked Dan if his parents understood him. Dan said he thinks they did. He said that his parents worked for the government and he had a lot of fun as a kid. He said his parents worked in a theater and he got to know how to do things that way.
Howard asked if it's true he was diagnosed with Tourettes. Dan said he's self diagnosed. He said he had a 7th grade teacher who used rulers and things on him and he developed twitches and things. He said that once he got away from that teacher then things were fine. Dan wondered if you can go too far with that stuff. Howard said that it can.
Howard said the thing that shocked him is that at a young age he decided to become a priest. Dan said it's a good story. He said he lived in Ottawa Hull and his parents wanted him to go to a better school. He said they figured if he went to a seminary school he'd be better off. Dan said he went in for the interview and he sat down for the interview with the father. Dan said the father asked him if he wanted to enter the priesthood. Dan said his answer was ''I... uahhhhhhh'' and he had to lie to get into the school. He said in grade 7 they didn't think he was suitable for the priesthood. Howard said that's because he dressed up a pig like the pope. Dan said that was one of the things he did.
Howard asked if he got into a lot of trouble. Dan said he did a little bit. Howard said that he has to grow up like that to be the guy he was on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he has to be that guy. Dan said that he had colleagues who had that too. Howard asked if he's still friends with Bill Murray. Dan said they will always be friends. He said the may never work together again though. He said he's written 4 scripts for him and it's hard to get him to read them.
Howard said that Dan wrote Ghostbusters and he wanted it to be a serious movie. Dan said he did look at it like a comedy. He said he wanted to do it like a real ghost hunting movie. He said he wanted to make it a blacker comedy. He said they were always going to call it Ghostbusters but another company owned the name. Dan said that there was a TV show named Ghostbusters. He didn't know about that. Howard said he wrote that movie for Belushi. Dan said he did. He said he was writing a line for him when he heard he had died.
Howard said as Dan was writing a line for John Belushi he got the news. Dan said he had to get to Judy, his wife, and tell her before it hit the news. He said it was in the paper already. Dan said he just beat the newspaper there to her house.
Howard said John was really partying hard. Dan said they were afraid it was going to happen. He said he flushed a lot of coke down the toilet in those last days. He said that business started to close in on John and he flew out there to Los Angeles to have some meetings. Then he got the news.
Howard asked if it was hard for him. Dan said that the woman who put the needle in him didn't want to kill him. He said he can't blame her for that. He said that John wasn't in good health to begin with. He said people were just trying to make John happy.
Howard said that Dan wrote a lot of his own material there at Saturday Night Live. He said that Dan was there doing his thing and he only got one salary even though he was doing both things. Dan said he was getting $278 a week to write and act. He said that he was acting without pay. He said that's not why he got mad at Lorne and kicked a hole in the wall. He said he got billed for something that he felt they should have paid for. Dan said at the last minute they would go to cue cards and they would refuse to put changes in at the last minute.
Howard said that Dan never broke character in a sketch. Dan said he thinks he did during a Coneheads sketch. Howard said that Rosie Schuster was a girlfriend and a writer there on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that must have been magical.
Howard said that Rolling Stone ranked the people on Saturday Night Live. Dan said he would put himself behind Phil Hartman. He said that it's very unfair to rate them like that. He said that Chris Parnell and Jim Breuer were great and there were so many multi-talented people there. Howard said he and Fred rate Dan at number 1. Howard said every sketch he was in was great. Howard said that what he did with Belushi almost takes away from that. Howard said that he did things on his own that were great too.
Howard asked Dan if he got jealous of Bill Murray when he came in and was a big hit as the lounge singer. Dan said that they were all very supportive of each other.
Howard asked Dan why he's not mad at Lorne Michaels about keeping him out of Animal House. Dan said that never happened. He said Lorne would never keep him from leaving. He said that was his idea to stay. Dan said that they begged him to do that movie and he didn't want to leave the show without a major male figure to play. Dan said that Lorne was worried. He said he told Lorne that he was staying and they went on to do some great work.
Howard asked if he worried about losing John. Dan said that hey were cooking up the Blues Brothers at the time so he wasn't worried.
Howard asked Dan about doing Driving Miss Daisy and how shocked people were with that dramatic role. Dan said he read about the play in New York and read it was being made into a movie. He said he went to his agent and said he wanted to audition. Howard asked if his agent thought he was high. Dan said he Bernie Brillstein did say he wasn't so sure about that. Dan said that he went in for the audition and they said they would call him back. He said he got the call a half hour after leaving the audition.
Howard asked Dan if he was shocked he didn't get the Oscar. Dan said he knew that Denzell was going to get it. He said it was great that they won for Best Picture though.
Dan said that they had a lot of people working on something like that. Howard said that he and Fred would watch Dan on Saturday Night Live and Fred would do his Nixon as Dan doing Nixon. Howard said that it's pretty exciting to see him sitting there. He said it's talking to a comedy hero. Dan thanked him for that.
Howard asked Dan about writing Ghostbusters and if he had written anything before that. Dan said he wrote Blues Brothers. He said he had written some other stuff that he was uncredited for. Dan said he wrote 350 pages of stuff for Blues Brothers. He said a lot of what survived too. Dan said that they eventually made the movie out of that.
Howard said the movie did very well back then. Dan said they did $72 million and then Airplane came out and did 80 million a couple of weeks later. Dan said that they had a lot of resistance because of the black people in it. He said that it was in the southeast that they got some friction. Dan said that they could have done more business if they had distribution down there. Howard said the soundtrack did very well too. Dan said he thinks they sold over a million for that.
Howard said that Dan was in Second City in Canada and then he went to Chicago. Dan said they swapped from Ottawa to Chicago. He said he met Bill Murray and some other guys there. He said he came down with Gilda Radner and some others. Dan said that was back in 1974. Dan said that he got to do his Nixon character as a car salesman.
Howard asked if Dan did the Bassomatic thing on Saturday Night Live this weekend himself or was he asked to do it. Dan said that was Lorne who asked him to do it. He said he knew why he wanted it and he was very nervous while doing it. Dan said that he knew what Lorne was going for. He said they were paying tribute to the first couple of years of the show. He said the boss wanted that so he did it.
Howard said he felt the Eddie Murphy thing was very awkward. Howard said Chris Rock gave him a big send up and then you wait for something fun to come out. Dan said he is an elder statesmen of American comedy. He said he would have loved it if he had went off on someone in the audience. He said he could have riffed on the audience and ripped it.
Howard asked who the original guys who were picked for Trading Places. Dan said he doesn't know. He said he thinks they picked Eddie and then they had to talk him into it. Howard said he thought it was Gene Wilder who was picked. Dan said that would have been interesting. Howard asked if he enjoyed working with Eddie on that. Dan said it was great and they had a lot of fun.
Howard asked Dan about his drinking. Dan said he did try coke and the greenie. He said that they had a budget for coke on the show and they got the weed for free. Dan said he liked drinking better than the other stuff. Howard said that they were so into their jobs back then that they would stay up all night writing. Howard said they were at NBC writing stuff and basically lived there. Dan said he lived there Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night. He said they had bunk beds put in there. Howard said that must have been a crazy time in his life. Dan said the wildest they got was freezing some pizzas and sailing them across the room. He said they could have cut some heads off.
Howard said he pictures them writing with typewriters. Dan said they did. Howard said they could get that stuff on TV that week. Dan said the real wild stuff was after the show. He said they had an after party and then an after, after party. He said he had to rent a room to keep his Harley in and he ended up having parties there. Dan said they'd have the party with the guests from the show. Dan said they were some wild parties. He said they'd play the blues at the Blues Bar and it was crazy.
Howard asked Dan if he ever wanted to just go home and get his rest. Dan said they had Sunday to recover so they'd party all night. Dan said Monday was writing. He said that's why he would sleep there. Dan said he can sleep on a railway track now that he's been through all of that.
Howard said that first night of Saturday Night Live was wild. Howard said that they did the show with the Muppets and all of that. Howard asked when they figured that wasn't the thing they should do. Dan said that was Bernie Brillstein who wanted them on that show.
Howard said Dan was one of the people who started the Hard Rock cafe. Dan said they also did the House of Blues. He said the House of Blues was saved by Live nation. He said that many of those types of restaurants went bankrupt. He said House of Blues did not. He said he's still a consultant to the whole thing. He said that whole thing started out more of a place to hang out than a business.
Howard asked about the Blues Brothers and if Aretha Franklin kind of pushed back. Dan said that they did have to talk her into getting into a waitress outfit. Howard asked if that was all mind blowing for a kid from Ottawa. Dan said it was and he's even impressed by being there today. He said Howard is a very hard working man. He said he gets up every day to keep the listeners entertained. He said he admires them. Howard said he just won the best hair award too. He said he's pretty excited about that. Dan said that he should be rewarded for being a hard working man.
Howard said he watched that show Bosom Buddies and he was such a fan of his wife. Dan said she's actually there. Howard said he met her on the set of Dr. Detroit. Howard said that he's married to Donna Dixon. Dan said she is an outstanding woman and she's a woman of the south. He said they hired her to work on Dr. Detroit. Howard said Dan was with Carrie Fisher for awhile. Dan said he was. He said he dated Gilda Radner for a little while too. He said that everyone fell in love with her. He said all of the guys fell for her. He said she was funny and cute and supportive. Howard asked what went wrong there. Dan said it was a natural thing. He said she met someone else and moved on.
Robin said that he managed to break up and keep working with these women. Dan said that's typical in Hollywood. He said they had a reality about it.
Howard asked Dan about how intimidating it was to date Donna Dixon. Dan said he had to take a breath before going up to her door. Howard said that he met some very beautiful women when he was single. Dan said he lucked out with Beth. Howard said that he worries about performing. Dan said you make them laugh and you're fine.
Howard said he owns several bottles of Dan's vodka. He said he likes the skull thing. He said he uses it decoratively. Howard said he thinks that Dan and booze and bars are part of his life. Dan said that it is. He said he has no problem with alcohol. He said he can drink in moderation. Dan said he'll have a couple of martinis and wine with dinner. He said the origin of the vodka is interesting. Howard asked if he wasn't a fan of what is out there. Dan said he started out importing Petrone to Canada. He said he doesn't like what's in a lot of vodkas. He said they have glyceride in some. He said they do that to cut the alcohol. Dan said it's not enough to kill you but you don't want it in there. Dan said his friend John Alexander came up with this skull bottle and he knew what to put in there. He said that he did some studying and figured out what he wanted in there. He said they don't add any lemonine or sugar. He said that they won an award over in Russia for their vodka. Dan said that's one of his most proud moments.
Howard said that they claim that you don't get a headache with this vodka. Dan said that can be true but not always. Howard said he read that they're thinking of electing him president of Russia after that win.
Howard said Dan must be shocked that Al Franken is a senator now. Dan said he sees him quite frequently. Dan said that they couldn't have a better representative. He said he was great at writing politics on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that he was disrespected as a writer on Saturday Night Live. Dan said maybe in the beginning. He said in the end they wrote some of the greatest stuff that the show had ever seen.
Howard asked Dan about the Ghostbusters thing and if he believed in the whole ghost thing. Dan said he had family that were into that stuff. He said that interest was passed down to his father and his father's father and all of that. Dan said that he was a big fan of that stuff. Howard said that Dan says he relates to his Coneheads character. Dan said he does feel alien at times. He said he has webbed toes and some other things about him that are odd. Howard asked if he ever got the toes fixed. Dan said he never did. Dan said he broke one of them and they wanted to put a split on his toe but he had a natural one there. Robin said he may be alien. Dan said he might be and he went into his Coneheads character.
Howard said Dan played the President in a couple of movies. Dan said he did and that was neat. Howard said that he also says that he and John Belushi bonded when they played President and Vice President. Dan said that they bonded from the start. He said that they respected each other.
Howard asked Dan if he got insecure after John died. Dan said he pretty much gave up until Dr. Detroit came along. He said he wanted to stop after all of that. He said it got pretty bad. Dan said they offered him the movie and he went back to work.
Howard said John was like his muse in a way. Dan said they were developing a sitcom together. He said they were going to play two FBI agents. Howard said that could have been great. Dan said they had a top movie at the time. He said that he had Tom Davis as a writing partner too. He said when John came out in the moustache dancing on the graves it was such a big thing. He said they had a lot of fun stuff.
Howard said Dan's brother was on Saturday Night Live. Dan said he was. Howard asked if it's weird to have a brother on the show following him like that. Dan said it might be more strange for his brother. Dan said that his brother has his own things going on now and they see each other at family functions. He said that they have some differences over some real estate deals that went down. He said his brother is hilarious and he hopes some day he'll realize that he did not mistreat him. He said it can be a bad idea to do business with family.
Howard gave Dan a plug for his CrystalHeadVodka.com web site. Howard said that he's very happy to meet Dan. Robin asked if Donna is going to come in. Howard said he'd love to meet her too. Howard asked why she didn't go on with her career. Dan said they did two movies together. He said she chose to be the educator of their children. Howard asked if they are home schooled. Dan said no but they did go to the right schools.
Howard met Donna when she came in and said that's really her. Howard said that she didn't do much after that Bosom Buddies. Donna said she loves science and she's doing other things now. Donna said that she is part of the Explorers club. She said to get in you have to make a scientific discovery and you have to write a paper on it and have a lot of time in the field. She said she became a member. Dan said she's a bone hunter. He wasn't kidding. He said she hunts for dinosaur bones.
Howard asked if there is an insecurity there for him. Dan said that of course there is. Howard asked if she had a problem with the webbed toes or anything like that. Donna said she loved every inch of Dan. She said that they have 3 kids and they have tracked tigers in India and climbed Machu Pichu. Dan said he never would have done that without her getting him off the couch.
Donna said that her impression of Dan is saying ''I'm not going, I'm not going, I'm not going... are you going?... yes? Then I'm going.'' Donna said that their strengths and weaknesses are each others weaknesses and strengths. Howard said that Dan and Donna are delightful. Howard said that he is happy to have them there. Dan thanked him for having them in.
Howard said that Dan hated doing Weekend Update. Dan said it wasn't his fit. He said he was dry and not funny. Howard asked if he came up with the ''Jane you ignorant slut'' line. Dan said Al Franken and Jim Downey came up with that. Howard said that his character of the plumber with his ass crack showing was great too. Dan said that he had to have Davis go into the booth to keep them from censoring the pencil in the ass crack thing. He said they told him not to do that and he wanted to.
Howard said he heard that hey didn't like Frank Zappa as the host so much. Dan said he called them by their real names and things like that. He said he broke the fourth wall. He said Walter Matthau wasn't a great host but he was nervous. He said Steve Martin was great. He said that they've had a lot of great ones on the show.
Howard asked Dan if he's happy about Ghostbusters 3. Dan said he is. Dan said that he has 3 daughters and he's happy that it will be all women. Dan said he wrote a version of 3 but its hard to get Bill Murray to read a script. Howard asked why that is. Dan said that he has done the character twice already. He said that Paul Feig's script is great and he thinks the movie will be too.
Howard said that Dan is a lucky guy. He said he gets to sleep with Donna Dixon. Donna said that they're going to go to the barrier reef in August. Howard asked if Eddie Murphy was supposed to be in the first Ghostbusters. Dan said he was but he was shooting Beverly Hills Cop. Howard asked what Dan is doing the rest of the day. Dan said he has to come back to the building later in the day to do some show that is not Howard Stern. Howard asked if he's nuts. Dan said this is something that was planned before.
Howard gave Dan some plugs and thanked him again for coming in. Dan said that they'll come back in the summer and give some updates for Ghostbusters. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that was a big thrill for him to talk to Dan. Robin said she's kind of upset with Howard. She said that Howard would never say that Dan inspired him. Howard said he didn't say it exactly that way. Robin said Howard would claim that he wasn't inspired by anyone. Howard said he contradicts himself in every interview he does. Howard said that was a lot of fun for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview. Howard said that he and Fred used to watch Saturday Night Live and they'd come into work and talk about it on Monday. He said that back then it was breakthrough and revolutionary. He said Fred would do his impressions of Dan doing his impressions.
The caller asked if he heard Stuttering John on Opie and Anthony saying that he was hired for the Tonight Show because they saw him on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of here. Howard said he didn't hear the interview but he thinks that John is right about that. He said he went on that show and Jay liked him. He said he doesn't mean to burst his bubble but he was hired because the head writer loved him from this show. He said he's fine with whatever John wants to believe. He said either story works.
The caller said that John also claims that Howard wears a wig and Gary isn't to be trusted. Howard said John didn't say that. It's that caller who says that. Howard said he's not sure why that would bother him. He said that maybe he can come in and tug on his hair to prove it's real. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they have some interesting things on HowardStern.com. He mentioned a painting video where a painter paints a portrait of Beetlejuice. Howard said they have the Saturday Night Live on Stern special coming up on Friday night on Howard 101. Howard said Jon Leiberman has been embedded with Big Foot and Big Foot will be coming in tomorrow with his transgender girlfriend. Howard said they are living together. Howard said Leiberman said he can't figure out where Big Foot lives. He said there are people living in the house who he could hear but he never saw. He said Jon isn't sure what's going on there.
Howard had some audio of Big Foot claiming that he got his girlfriend to squirt... out of her ass and it wasn't shit. Howard played another clip of Big Foot talking about sucking on his girlfriend's penis a few times. Big Foot said it was great. Howard said he can't figure out what's going on there. He said he can't wait to talk to them tomorrow. Howard said that Hall & Oates will also be in tomorrow to perform something. Howard said they'll have some fun tomorrow.
Howard said that he was watching Gotham last night and they had a quote from him on the screen. He said he really likes the show. Howard said that The Walking Dead was great this week too. Robin said that it's become a soap opera lately. Howard said he loves the show. Howard said if all you have is killing zombies then it's not enough.
Robin started to get into the news talking about people doing art. That led to Howard talking about the roses he painted for his wife. He said he did one and then she asked for 29 more. Howard said she wants a pink petunia next. Howard said it took him a week to do one of those roses for her. Howard said it's not easy. Howard said he wants to learn how to draw so he did a self portrait of himself sitting by a pool. He said he works at that. He said he's working on scale so he's drawing larger stuff. He said he's still learning so he still does a lot of small stuff.
Robin said there is a contest where they have people drawing the prophet Muhammad. Howard said he's staying out of that one.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that was a great interview with Dan Aykroyd. He asked who he would pick if he had to pick between Dan or John Belushi. Howard said he sets up things that are hard to answer. Speech also congratulated him on his hair.
Robin read about how Nick Cannon is dating Nicole Murphy. Robin said they were seen out the other night. Howard said he might get an ear full about that. Howard said that Nick actually stays pretty quiet about that stuff.
Robin said that they have to say goodbye to Lesley Gore. Robin said she passed away and they learned that she was gay. Howard said he had no idea she was gay. Robin had some clips of her music that Howard played. They talked about her hit songs for a short time.
Howard said he got a text from Steven Tyler over vacation and he asked him to go to a concert. Howard said he was going to go but he had to get back to New York to work so he wasn't able to go. He said he was bummed about that. Robin read more about Lesley Gore and then Howard did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about Bruce Jenner's upcoming interview and how a lot of things are leaking out about the interview. Howard asked Benjy if he would go on a date with Belinda Jenner. Benjy said he would but that might be kind of disrespectful toward her. Howard said he doesn't think that he's going to have a lot of opportunities to date. Robin said a lot of people out there in Hollywood will do anything to be famous. Howard said it would be great if he dated Leonardo DiCaprio or Bradley Cooper. Robin said Bruce had a lot of kids. Howard said he did and he says he knew he wanted to be a woman since he was 5. Robin read about some of the things that have leaked.
Howard said they have a poll up about which Wack Packer you'd most like to be like. Howard said they have Mariann, Bobo, Fred the Elephant Boy, Hank the Dwarf, Crackhead Bob, Eric the Actor, Beetlejuice, Wendy and Gary the Conqueror. Howard said that Fred seems the most normal. Howard said he was going to say Eric the Actor. Gary said that he'd like to weigh in. He said it's Gary the Conqueror. He said he's happy and he has no idea what he's missing out on. Howard said what he loves most about his life are his interests. He said he can paint and learn. He said learning is his great joy. Gary said you just don't know if you're like Gary. Gary said Gary is happy whenever he's up there. Robin said that Medicated Pete is another one. Howard said he's got it tough. Robin said there's also Pete the Virgin and the other guy who was a virgin. Howard said Eric the Actor enjoyed things like wrestling and things like that. Gary said he had to be lifted out of a chair every day to take a shit though. Howard said that's true. Howard said that he would want to be able bodied. He said Gary the Conqueror is. Howard told Gary to put every Wack Packer name on a board and then he'll come up with an answer.
Robin said Bob Simon the CBS news man was killed in a crazy accident in Manhattan. Robin said that she's not sure how you get a car mangled like that in the city. Howard said his only connection to Bob Simon is that he was calling his agent repeatedly trying to get in touch with him. Howard said he's not making this up like Brian Williams. Howard said this is true. He said they were doing a story on Scores and they were looking for him to participate. Howard said the answer couldn't have been no fast enough. Howard said that was his only contact with him. He said that his agent had been speaking to him for a while. Howard said they say that Bob wasn't wearing his seat belt in the back of the car. Robin said she's still not sure how you get that out of control in the city. Howard said he read some things about the guy that were kind of disturbing. Gary said the guy had lost his license and may have tired to kill himself in the past year. Robin had some audio of Bob Simon's voice and said it's very recognizable. Robin said he was 73 and still working.
Howard said someone sent him his top list of guests on the show. They were number 1 Joan Rivers, number 2 was Russell Brand and 3 was J.B. Smoove. Howard said he didn't ask for the list but the guy sent it.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who asked why he's excluded from the Wack Pack every time. Howard said he doesn't feel he's Wack Pack. He said he's a phony phone call guy. Janks asked if he thinks he's wacky. Howard said he is. He said his mind goes to him being normal in a way. He said the only wacky thing he does are phony phone calls. He said that he's in his own category of phony phone callers. Howard said he's a superfan too. Janks said he'll buy that. Howard said that real Wack Packers are a different species. Janks said Gary would say that he's a real whacko. Howard said now he's a fudge packer. Gary said Janks sent him a picture of a guy he banged who looked like JD. Janks said he figured he'd try it and the guy was quiet most of the time. He said he was pretty young. He said he was a bottom too. Howard asked if he's sure it wasn't JD. Janks said the guy didn't have a mush mouth. Howard asked if he had him to his apartment. Janks said he did. Howard asked if he's scared to bring a stranger there. Janks said he protects himself. He said he can pick out the ones who are more deranged than him.
Howard asked what makes a great cock. Janks said big and uncircumcised. He said it adds more dimension to it. Robin asked if Janks is circumcised. Robin said she likes the circumcised look. Howard said Janks really came screaming out of the closet. He said he sounds so much happier being out. Janks said absolutely. The guys asked if Janks would fuck Fred or Sal on the show since they're uncircumcised. Janks said the only one on the show he'd fuck is Howard. Howard thanked him for that and let him go. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about 50 Shades of Grey and said that Ronnie saw it too. Robin said that Ronnie didn't like it. Howard said he heard Ronnie said it was too PG for him. Ronnie came in to give his review. Ronnie said that it was kind of like Pretty Woman in a way. Robin said it was very slow and had bad dialog. Ronnie said it was like a porno version of it. Ronnie said there were a few erotic scenes but he could do without it. He said Dakota Johnson is cute but the guy was so pompous and annoying that you wanted to beat him with a hammer. Ronnie said he wanted to leave. Howard asked if you see her nude. Ronnie said you do and she has bush and nice knobs. He said she's real cute. Howard said the movie was bad but the knobs were good.
Howard said he saw that Ronnie was on TMZ coming out of a strip club. Ronnie said he was at Vivid hosting a party and he came out and TMZ was there.
Howard asked Ronnie about the movie again and what they show in it. Ronnie said you see her ass and her bush. He said you see the guy's ass once and part of his penis once. He said you see almost her whole bush but then they pan away from it. He said she has a nice ass and a cute face. He said she plays a virgin. Ronnie said the guy is such an asshole. He said the guy wants to talk her into getting beat up and he can't even do that right.
Robin and Ronnie talked about what the movie was like and how annoyed they were with it. Robin asked if Stephanie liked it. Ronnie said she said he had to look at it from a woman's perspective. Robin said she did and she still didn't like it. Howard asked if she was excited by it. Ronnie said they went at 2:30 in the afternoon. He said he wasn't going to be seen going in at night. He said there were a couple of guys there and one guy next to him had a coat over his lap and he kept squirming around like the girl next to him was doing something to him.
Howard asked if Ronnie gets a senior discount. Ronnie said he doesn't ask for it. He probably could. Ronnie said there were women in the theater who took up two rows. He said there weren't many guys there. Ronnie said he didn't get up. He said he didn't want to be seen in the lobby. He said it was snowing when they left so no one was around.
Howard said the movie seems like it would be good. Robin said you need good actors to make a good movie. Ronnie said Beverly Johnson was hot. Robin said she just spoke really slowly though. She did an impression of her speaking really slowly. Robin said she's supposed to be really naive and that's why she was slow. Robin said it was just bad. Ronnie said she wasn't a shitty actress. Robin said he's just looking at her for her looks.
Howard played a ''Female Expendables'' bit they put together. Howard said he would go see that. Ronnie said this guy in the movie didn't have any great moves on the girl. He said he was looking at him and said to Stephanie that this guy ain't shit. Howard said maybe this is a young, attractive man and that's why he was upset by him. Robin said she didn't like him either. Ronnie said he didn't have any moves with her. He said he'd lick her stomach and bite her boob and then go down to her pussy and stick it in. He said he wasn't working at all. Robin said what Ronnie is saying is that he didn't believe that guy could get that girl.
Howard asked if Ronnie could have consulted on the movie. Ronnie said hell yeah. He said he would have had him going to work on her. Ronnie said the guy should have been biting her neck and moving down her body slowly. He said all he wanted to do was beat her. Howard thanked Ronnie for the review.
Robin read about how they're showing the movie at a drive in theater in California and people are upset about that. Robin had some audio of people complaining about being able to see it from the road.
Robin read a story about the trial for the guy who is accused of killing Chris Kyle. Robin said the guy is on trial now and he faces life in prison. Robin said that he's accused of shooting Kyle and his friend to death in 2013.
Robin read a story about a branch of the KKK calling for a ban on gay marriage.
Robin read a story about Egypt bombing some ISIS terrorists in Libya yesterday. Robin said they say that there is only one way to stop ISIS. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how they can stop it in those areas. Robin said the attack came after a video came out of 21 Egyptians being beheaded. Robin said the President says we're losing the propaganda fight with ISIS. Robin said they tweet thousands of times a day. Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel does that too.
Howard and Fred ended up doing their impressions of Ronnie talking about sex after Robin read a story. Howard and Fred were coming up with all kinds of crazy stuff that Ronnie might want to see in a 50 Shades of Grey movie.
Robin said that people are upset about this ISIS fight and how we're not naming individuals so it's very hard to fight. Robin had some audio of some official talking about that.
Robin read a story about Conan O'Brien going to Cuba to broadcast. Howard said he wants to get him in there. He said he doesn't have to do that. Gary said Conan is actually coming in on the 25th. Howard said good. He said he has to talk to him about that. Robin said that the show is going to air on March 4th. Howard asked who his guests are going to be. Robin said she's not sure.
Robin said a couple of weeks ago they were talking about Lance Armstrong. Robin said he was in an accident and he had his girlfriend switch seats with him. Robin said Howard wondered how he gets a girl to take the blame. Robin said the truth is that he hasn't lost a dime from all of that cheating. Robin said that he may be starting to lose now. Robin said last week a judge or a panel issued a ruling against him that would cause him to pay back $10 million in bonuses for winning. Robin said there's another case where he could lose $100 million.
Robin read about how Bobbi Kristina is still on life support in Atlanta. Robin said she's been fighting for her life since January 30th. Robin said that last week was the third anniversary of her mother's death.
Robin read about an American Idol contestant being charged with rape. Robin had some audio of the contestant's audition.
Robin read about a woman who died hiking in sub zero temperatures in New Hampshire. Robin said she was found dead on Monday. Howard said this isn't the time of year to be doing anything like that. Robin said the woman was born in Siberia so maybe she thought that she could handle it.
Robin read about Cindy Adams saying there are about 6,000 left leaning people who are voting for the Oscars so it doesn't matter who you think should win.
Robin asked if Howard watched the Grammy's. Howard said he didn't see the whole thing. He said he saw very little of it. He said his DVR thing was all blacked out and weird. He said he hasn't been able to catch up on it. Robin said that AC/DC was on and they said it was the first time they've performed. Robin said they were outstanding. Robin said she also enjoyed Paul McCartney on the show. Robin said he was enjoying the music and dancing around. Howard said he did see that.
Robin read a story about a new strain of HIV in Cuba. Howard said they put everyone with AIDS in a concentration camp like thing down there. Robin said that hasn't worked out.
Robin read about Emile Hirsch getting into some trouble for putting a woman in a choke hold at a film festival. Robin said he could get up to 5 years in prison if he's found guilty. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show after talking to Todd for a few minutes. Jon said they also have a poll up about what Howard thinks about Brian Williams. He said they ask if people agree that Brian Williams should not be fired.
Todd and Jon talked about Dan Aykroyd coming in and how he's from Canada. Todd said that anyone who can exist for 20 or 30 years is avoiding the shark infested waters. He said that KISS is like that. Jon said he thought he was going to use Rush as an example because they're Canadian. Todd said they are on tour right now actually. Jon said he knows.
Jon said that SNL started with Aykroyd, Belushi, Radner and the others. He said they're a big deal and the show has been going for 40 years now. Todd said there were lulls in those 40 years but the show is still going. He said the admiration of what was happening there goes on. He said it's 4 decades now. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said they're talking about what Howard talked about this morning. He said they were talking about the SNL 40th. Jon said Dan Aykroyd was on today and he wonders who his guy was. Craig said Eddie Murphy was his guy. He said he hasn't seen the program yet. He said he looked up the Eddie Murphy thing. He said he thought it was great. He said he meant a lot to the show and it's great that he took the stage after that absence. Jon said Eddie was carrying that show back then. Craig said he was a force to be reckoned with. He said they had Joe Piscopo and Tim Kazarinski with him too. He said that's what they tuned in for back then.
Jon said that Dan talked about how Eddie was supposed to be in Ghostbusters but did Beverly Hills Cop instead. Craig said that's a whole other level if he had done that. Jon said that it could have been a much different movie.
Jon asked what it's like to meet your idol. Todd said it sounded like to him that everyone has a short list and you turn into that 8 year old kid when you meet someone like that. He said Howard had a true admiration for Dan. He said that he met Wayne Gretzky and that was like meeting the pope to him. He said that's what it must have been like for Howard.
Jon asked Craig Robinson who he has met that made him feel like that. Craig said he met Eddie Murphy. He said he just wanted to say hi to him and get out of the way. He said he did the same thing with Prince. He said you just say hi and move out of the way. Craig said one time he was at a Lakers game and Kobe came up to him and told him that he loved his movies. He said he blew his mind.
Jon said that Todd is looking at Howard's art work. Todd took a look at the pink rose. He said that inconsistency is the ladder to mediocrity. He said that the only thing he sees in it is a little lack of confidence to be free. He said when he's on radio that's what he's doing. He said when you do art you have to have the same attitude. He said that's what Howard needs with his art work. He said it's a good start but if he opens up he'll be able to open up even better. Jon asked if it looks like a beginner. Todd said no. He said that he has a keen eye. He said that Howard is putting it on paper. He said what he has to do is get the confidence and just compose stuff on paper without seeing it. He just needs to pull it from his head. He told Howard to keep it going.
Jon asked Craig what he thinks about that. Craig said that it sounds encouraging. Craig said he thinks it looks amazing to him. He said it's hang up ready. Jon said that he thinks Beth posted that on her Instagram if you want to see it.
Jon took a call from a guy who was calling from Australia. He asked about the top SNL people list. Jon said that it's so hard to pick. He said that Howard and Fred put Dan in the top 5. Jon said he's in there with Eddie Murphy and Phil Hartman for him. Jon said that he thinks that there are just so many it's a tough list to make. Craig said that he would go with Murphy, Phil Hartman and Bill Hader. Todd went with Bill Murray, Murphy and Aykroyd. He said that he was there at the beginning so he watched those guys. He said that original crew were all good. The caller said he enjoyed the interview this morning too. He said he was listening at 1:30 in the morning when it came on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was disappointed in the Aykroyd interview because Howard kind of skipped over the alien thing a bit. He also asked if Craig had blueberry pancakes at Prince's house when he was there. Craig said he did not unfortunately. Craig said that he didn't think they'd even get into the house. He said they went and they were invited right in. Craig said that Prince was there playing but he left before any pancakes may have been served. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon asked Gary about crossing paths with Craig recently. Gary saw him at someone's house at a party or something. Craig didn't seem to remember that though. Jon said that the new Hot Tub Time Machine movie is coming out soon. Craig said that he's looking forward to getting his jokes out there. He said some of the jokes are improved and when someone tells him about those jokes that means a little more to him.
Jon said Craig was on The Office with Steve Carell. Craig said he learned a lot working with him. Jon said that they were talking to Dan today and they learned that Donna Dixon was in the green room. Jon said Howard was excited but nervous to meet a legend. Gary said that it was so great when Dan broke in to his Nixon and Beldar character. He said that it makes people so happy when he does that. Jon said he did it so nonchalant too. Todd said it was worth the whole interview right there.
Gary said he looks at Dan Aykroyd and Fred is so much like him in his mannerisms. Gary said that Dan was even talking like Fred. He said he thinks Fred would take that as a compliment. He said that many of Fred's impersonations were based on the impersonations they were doing on SNL.
Jon asked Craig if he thinks Howard could walk away and retire from the show. Craig said he's an artist and if he's ready to leave then maybe he can go and work on his paintings. Gary said that Dave did it and now Jon Stewart is doing it. He said maybe Howard is going to think about doing that now too.
Todd said if someone is going to quit then you just have to let them do it for themselves. He said the fans serve themselves so the celebrity can do that too. Gary said that he thinks that you want to remember that guy who went out to just stop and never see them again. Todd said it depends. He said he understands the urge to just want to play the game. He said it never leaves your DNA. He said sometimes you have to shut the world off. He said you can undo it like Brett Favre. Jon let Craig go after that since he had to get going.
Jon spent a few more minutes talking to Todd about the retirement thing. Gary wondered if Howard did retire but then he felt like coming back to do shows whenever he feels like it on some station out on Long Island. He asked if that hurts the legacy. Todd said you can't please them all.
Jon wrapped up the show after plugging today's Sternthology. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about how they have Big Foot and his girlfriend coming in. They also have Hall & Oates performing live today. Howard said he thinks that the real Big Foot is less threatening.
Howard took a call from Wolfie who asked if he would host Saturday Night Live if Lorne Michaels asked him to. Howard said he thinks he would avoid the aggravation. Howard said he is a big fan of the show and he did go to Lorne to write his stuff for a guest appearance with Jackie and Fred. He said that you have to buy into all of the sketches and commit. He said he doesn't want to go there and be critical of the sketches he's in. He said he thinks it would be fun and kind of cool but at the same point he thinks he's too nervous about things going horribly wrong. Robin said he has avoided bad things in his career. Howard said he just wouldn't want it to be one of those bad sketches. Robin said it could end up being his signature sketch if it's like that. Howard said if he could do his own character or something then maybe. He said if it's something not funny he wouldn't want to argue over it. He said he's too afraid of things going horribly wrong.
Howard said he has been involved in some train wreck TV but they were his. He said he thinks they're funny. He did them for a reason. He said Fartman was like that. He said it was so ridiculous. He remembers walking down the hallways at the MTV awards and Jessica Hahn telling him that his ass didn't look that bad. He said he did it because it was going to be funny and legendary. Robin said people still talk about it. Howard said he thinks he'd love to host Saturday Night Live but he's too caught up in worrying.
Howard said he'd love to do his Stephen Hawking and his Elephant Man and even his My Left Foot impression. He said maybe even throw in his Ted Kennedy. Howard said maybe he could do his mother character in a wig. Howard said that would be enough characters and funny stuff. Robin said he doesn't have to be in every sketch either. Howard said he's just afraid of the live element where he'd have to be in some things that lay an egg. He said he'd be okay with outrageously weird but not something lame. Robin said there's nothing you can do about it if it is lame. Robin said you can't change course.
Howard said he also doesn't want to introduce a shitty band. He said he can't fake his enthusiasm. He said he just wants to do his thing. Howard said he's not sure it would work out well. Howard said it seems like it would be fun. Howard said he wanted to write his own sketches but you can't do that. He said he'd like to do a Sarah Palin sketch where he fingers her but that can never happen.
Howard said he's not sure he can do something like The Californians. He said he doesn't want to be that guy who isn't a team player. He said he's torn. Robin said that's a lot of hard work too. Howard said he's got enough to do there. Howard said he'd have to give up a week of vacation and he's already doing that with America's Got Talent. He said it's too weird.
Wolfie said that he's looking for suggestions for conventions and stuff. You can contact him at @ThisIsWolfie on Twitter.
Howard said that he has Wolfie talking to kids and asking them about Baba Booey. Howard played a clip and Wolfie asked a kid what animal he looks like. One kid said he looks like a bear. Then a second kid said a bear. Another kid said a beaver. Robin said She loves these children. Robin said that they're brilliant.
Howard took a call from Ralph and said they showed pictures of Ralph to the little kids too. Howard played some of the clips and the kids were saying that he looks like an ugly rat. Howard said he had a kid just blurt out that he's ugly. Howard said that Wolfie must have used his press photo. Howard played a clip of a kid saying he looks like an ape and that he's ugly. Another kid said he looks like a dog with that hair. Howard said that one kid just said ''ugly.''
Howard played some audio of kids talking about Benjy and how he looks like a whale or an elephant. Another kid said he looks like a bear.
Ralph said he'd like to see how the kids look. Ralph said that Wolfie is the biggest nerd and he's out goofing on people. He said he's out buying that stuff at the conventions. Wolfie said he has kids and he buys that stuff for them.
Ralph said he thinks Howard is over thinking Saturday Night Live. He said that they all respect Howard and they'd work with him. Howard said he might be right. Howard said no one has asked him to host since the 90s. He said that Lorne isn't calling and asking. Howard said that he has had a long and wild career. He said he has to do stuff that he's not going to be into. He said sometimes he has to do stuff that his gut tells him to. Robin said that he's going to have to deal with the critique Monday morning too. Howard said that won't sit well with him if it's anything less than stellar.
Ralph said he thinks it would be interesting. Howard said hit's hard to take advice from a guy who is sitting home alone collecting dolls. Robin said he also looks like a rat. Howard had Fred play Ralph out with the ''Ralphie Cakes'' song parody from Mike Morse. Ralph said they could do that on Saturday Night Live. Howard said Ralph sings that in his apartment.
Ralph asked if he saw that Saturday Night Live thing where they were doing their audition tapes. Howard said he did and they were good. Howard let Ralph and Wolfie go after that. Howard said his clothes are picked out by an ugly rat. Robin said he's a rat with taste. Howard said they have to take a break and get to Big Foot and his girlfriend. They went to break after that.
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Howard said that he has something fun to laugh at. Howard said that Sal and Richard have a new phony phone call to a religious show. Howard said they sped up Crazy Alice's voice and called a show as a father who has a possessed child. In the call Sal says he's Fred and his son Benjy is practicing in black magic. He said he found a goat's skull with a candle in it and his son is possessed. Sal puts his son on the phone with the religious show and has Alice's voice sped up to sound like a young boy. She's cursing and getting all angry saying ''I hate you!'' over and over. The woman on the line tells him that he can get help at a local church. The woman says that they need prayers from their listeners. She said that's what happens when you dabble around with things you don't know about.
Howard played a The Bachelor with JD bit that they created with JD mumbling and stumbling with his words. Howard played a song parody about JD's mumbling too.
Howard also played some interviews with people on the street about Bill Cosby's rape allegations. He also played a Baba Booey song parody.
King said that maybe it would be better to impress a woman with nothing. Howard said he dated some famous women and women who weren't famous. Howard said he dated leftovers too. He said it was a party. King said they were less famous though. Howard said if you date someone's leftovers they appreciate you more. He said it's a whole situation. He said it's hard to evaluate. Howard said there were famous women who were absolutely enamored with sex and very into it. He said there is no rhyme or reason to it. Howard said maybe Nick needs Nicole because he can talk to her and trust her. King said if he was famous he wouldn't go there. Howard said Nick isn't stopping the party. He said he's still going.
King said he wants Howard to go read about his story in the paper. Howard said he tried to read about that lawsuit but he gets bored. Howard said he didn't bring this up. Howard said King claims that his boss wanted to have sex with his wife. He said he claims he got a demotion because of that. King said that's not the story. Gary said he has the story. He told his version but King was saying no to that too. Gary said that's exactly what he read.
King said they have it wrong. Howard asked why it's a punishment to be on the back of the sweeper. King said it's on the back of a garbage truck. He said it's not the sweeper. Howard said he is so germ phobic he would let anyone hug his wife if he was threatened to put on the back of the garbage truck.
King said that they will get this over sooner or later. He said he wants to go on with his life. He said he's been there for 28 years. Robin asked if his job is in jeopardy. King said it is because of retaliation. Howard asked how much he's trying to get. Gary said that the story didn't say. King said they're trying to rush through this. Gary said they can't spend all day on it. King said Gary's analysis is all wrong. King said he will tell them what happened but it's in the paper.
King said his wife works for the same town that he does. He said his supervisor went up to his wife's job and harassed her for a hug. He said that he threatened her that if She didn't hug him that he'd put her husband on the back of a garbage truck and She didn't comply. Gary asked what he thinks that's worth. King said it's not up to him. Howard asked how much will sooth his pain. King said that's up to his law firm. He said he has a great law firm and he can't talk about that. He can only talk about what's in the paper. King said they started retaliating against him at his job because of the lawsuit. King said it was very ''heinous'' but he said 'Hay-nee-ess''. Howard said this is all alleged by King. Howard said they weren't there.
Gary said this isn't the first lawsuit he's brought against them. He said he sued over something about his boss calling him a bitch. King said he won that one. Howard asked if he got 10 grand or less. King said it was a lot more. King said that when something happens in the workplace you have to take action and stand up for yourself. He said that he asked his lawyer if he can talk about it and this is what he can talk about.
Gary said King is so rational now. Howard said he has to behave himself or he will fuck up. Gary said he's very in control. King said Gary is very... something that he didn't finish. He was going to say something but he stopped. Howard said he's trying to use big words today because he's like a lawyer today. Howard said he hears ''condensation'' in his voice. King asked Howard if he stayed at his new house in Florida. Howard asked to get back to his court case. Gary said King's voice changes when he's not taking like a lawyer.
Howard said he'll tell him if he tells him about how much money he's getting. King said he can't. Howard said he did stay at his new house. King sounded very excited about that for some strange reason. King asked how long his driveway is. Howard said it's 15 miles long. Howard said it's a regular driveway. King asked if he has hedges and a gate. Howard said he does. He said all of the hedges are shaped like his nose. Howard said that he should call in with more of the lawsuit thing. King said he would like to come in and discuss it when the suit is over. Howard said his wife must be hot if the boss wanted to hug her. King said She is hot. Howard asked if he will bring her in so they can hug her. King said ''Oh come on.'' King said the whole story is in the Bergen Dispatch.
Howard wondered why he wants this story out there. He said he must want to get it out there to get it settled quickly. Gary said they had someone who was an ex-wife of a celebrity and She called asking to come on the show. He said he booked her but She canceled. It turns out She was booking to get on the show so they could take it to the lawyers and they'd get the case settled quickly.
Howard asked King if he sees his boss at work. King said he does. He said it's crazy. Howard said that must be tough. King said that he's dealing with it. Howard asked how he deals with it. King said that his boss confessed to doing it and he's still working there. Howard said this is all alleged and according to King. Gary said he's not sure how they prove the hug and all of that. King said that it's very weird go to work during this whole thing. He said he has to go eat his oatmeal now. Gary asked if he has 28 years there then when is he going to retire. King said he retires when he wants to and when he's allowed to. King said he loves them but he has to go.
Howard asked what shape his hedges are. King said he has nice hedges but not like Howard's. King asked if his pool is an infinity pool. Howard said it's not. King said that it's when a pool doesn't have a lip. Robin said even She knows what one is. King said the water isn't too blue either. Howard said it's not that fake blue. Howard said it's real water. Howard said he has to go. King asked if the house is finished. Howard said no. King said there's more shit to do? Howard said there's always more to do. Howard said this call is very long. Gary said he has to go eat his oatmeal. Howard let King go and went to break.
Howard came back and said that Big Foot and his girlfriend Danielle are there. Howard said Jon Leiberman has been embedded with Big Foot and Danielle too. Robin asked how Jon is doing. Howard said he's traumatized.
Howard said that Big Foot is shaved. He said that he looks more handsome. Danielle said that he's cleaned up. She said She had no choice but to do that. Howard said Jon has lost 25 pounds after his heart scare. Jon thanked him for pointing that out.
Howard said that Danielle is a pre-op transsexual. Howard asked Big Foot if he thinks of her as a woman. Big Foot said he does. Howard asked if Danielle was Daniel before the change. She said it was. Howard asked if She ever said to herself that this is too much to her. She said it wasn't and it's just a challenge to her. Howard said that She has a problem with heroin too. Danielle said that She was addicted for a long time. Howard said they have unprotected sex too. Howard asked if he's worried about that at all. Both of them said they get tested often.
Howard said that they both live in Vermont. Big Foot said She lives with him. Danielle said She wants to get out of Vermont. Howard asked if they ware thinking about getting married. They are. Robin asked if this is the first time Big Foot has thought about that. He said it is. Howard asked if the family will come to the wedding. Big Foot said his dad is dead and the rest of the family won't come. He said that they never even called him to come to his father's funeral.
Howard asked Danielle about the cough She has. She said that's from smoking. Jon Leiberman said that their home is full of smoke. He said the house is smoke, marijuana smoke and perfume. He said they have perfume all over the apartment so She can spray that on. He said you get hit with all of that smell when you walk in. He said the home is full of love too. He said they do seem to truly love each other. Howard said that Jon said something about thinking someone was locked in a room in the house. Big Foot said that's Lucian and Heather. They locked themselves in the room.
Jon asked Big Foot to explain what an EP is. Big Foot said they help him clean the house and all of that. He said they get paid $407 a month to take care of him. Howard said this is some country we live in. Big Foot said he gets coffee for him too. He said Robin has to get one of those EPs for herself. He said you just have to look for someone with a zero income and you can get one.
Jon said that Big Foot fired his EP and that's the person who is locked in the room in the house. Howard said that the EP stands for what? Big Foot said it's Essential Person. Howard said that the previous EP was working for Big Foot and he was fired and now he's saying he's not leaving. Big Foot said that's right. Jon said they have another EP at the house and this guy is named Adam. He said he was bleeding when he came home one day. He said Adam said he just had two teeth pulled. He said that he had pain killers in his hand and the house is a mess. He said that the dishes and laundry are up to the ceiling. Danielle said that She won't do the EP's job so She won't touch that stuff. Howard said they have pictures of Big Foot and Danielle up on their web site.
Howard asked how they met. Big Foot said he met her on a park bench in front of a Dunkin' Donuts. Howard asked if it's scarier for Jon to go there or a war zone. Jon said they both have their own unique things. He said that Danielle can be very confrontational with people. Danielle said that Big Foot can be a pain in the ass. She said that he will scream about dope in the street. She said She tries to get him to stop talking about tit in the street and tell him to talk about pot and not dope. Howard asked if Big Foot appreciates that. Big Foot said he does. Howard asked if they argue a lot. Big Foot said no but Danielle said that they have been lately.
Howard asked why they're fighting. Danielle said that She was drugged up and someone shoved a tampon up her ass and She ended up in the hospital. She said that She had quit the clinic and stopped cold turkey. She said She stopped all of the dope stuff. She said She was doing Klonopin here and there. She said that She was on the couch and someone must have been messing with her while She was out of it. She said She's back on methadone now. She said the tampon thing is why She's not fucking Big Foot. She said that She got bound up. Howard asked how long She didn't shit. She said She shits every day. She said that Big Foot kind of ripped her up down there. She said that he stuck a finger in there and tore it more. She said he didn't cut his nails so She has to make sure he does that now.
Howard asked what they do sexually. Danielle said that he only wants to go in. She said that he just likes to go in and go in more. He said that sometimes it lasts a long time. She said that She can have an orgasm in her ass. She said that She squirted out of there too. Big Foot said that She gave him a golden shower. Howard said it wasn't urine though. Big Foot said it wasn't. Howard asked if Big Foot is going to marry a woman who has feelings for Jon Leiberman. Big Foot said they had a threesome one time and he was a colored guy. Danielle said the colored guy had the smaller dick too. Howard asked where this man was. Danielle said that She was sucking him off while Big Foot was fucking her in the ass. Danielle said She has a very clean ass. Big Foot said that he was fucking her one night and her ass smelled like cookies. Robin said that's love there. Howard said it's nice to be loved.
Jon said that they have an open relationship. Howard said he heard Big Foot sold her for $105 once. Jon said they have a few different revenue streams. He said Big Foot ran a livery business but the car broke down. Big Foot said that it just deteriorated. Howard said Jon reports that he has a pawn shop in his house and he hasn't made a sale. Big Foot said he sold a toaster for 80 bucks.
Jon said that Big Foot has sold Danielle twice already. Danielle said She didn't have sex with the guy. She said that She just went to sleep. Howard said he doesn't understand. Danielle said that She told the guy no when he stuck his dick in her hand. She said that the guy didn't ask for his money back either.
Howard asked about them meeting at the Dunkin Donuts. Danielle said She asked for a cigarette and they started talking from there. She said they became a couple in about 2 months.
Howard said he wants to find out how much they know about each other. He said he has questions they asked Danielle earlier. Howard asked what her favorite food is. Big Foot said steak subs. Howard played a clip and Danielle said Spaghetti. Howard said he's wrong. Howard said he thinks that if they don't know each other that well then maybe they shouldn't get married.
Howard asked where they get money for steak subs. Big Foot said they don't cost that much. Danielle said that it depends on where they go. Howard asked Danielle to look at Jon. He asked Big Foot what color her eyes are. Big Foot said brown. The answer was Hazel. Big Foot said he can't get nothin' right.
Howard said that Danielle is really into Jon. Jon said he made it clear to her that he has a girlfriend and he's only there as a reporter. Howard asked Danielle who is hotter, Jon or Big Foot. Danielle said Big Foot is.
Jon said that both of them are banned from Dunkin' Donuts. He said they met on the bench because they're not allowed inside. Danielle said that She brought her dog inside the place and was told to leave and She ended up calling the woman a cunt. That's why She got kicked out.
Howard asked Big Foot what Danielle's full name is. Big Foot said Danielle Johnson. He missed her middle name of Pauline.
Howard asked when Big Foot knew he wanted sex with Danielle. Big Foot said it was 2 months in. Howard asked if he brought her a gift. Big Foot said they just did it, it is. Danielle said that he got called a faggot by Big Foot's roommate. She said that wasn't cool.
Danielle wants to get her penis taken off and She said it only costs a few grand to get it done. She said that She did her research on that. Big Foot said they were hoping that Howard would help them out with that. Howard didn't sound interested in that.
Howard said that Danielle doesn't like Big Foot touching her cock. She said She's not into that. Howard asked if Big Foot is gay. Danielle said She thinks he's bi-sexual. Howard asked Big Foot how long he's sucked on her cock. Danielle said it's not long. Big Foot said She likes him going in her ass. Howard asked what his favorite position is. Big Foot said doggy style.
Jon said that Big Foot met a prostitute at the Dunkin' Donuts. Big Foot said for 10 bucks he screwed the fuck out of her. He said he did wear a condom that time. He said with other girls he will wear a condom. He said he plans on marrying Danielle.
Howard asked Big Foot if he's okay with Danielle getting pregnant. Big Foot said that he already has a kid out there. He said he only saw it once though. He said it was just when it was born.
Howard asked how the sex thing goes and if Big Foot plays with her chest. Danielle said that there is some foreplay. Howard said when the big moment comes and Big Foot is going to put his dick in her ass he does it too hard. Danielle said that She'll push him right out of her. Danielle said She had to do that the first time. She said it was like her body rejected it. Big Foot said he didn't have a deposit slip. Howard asked how he came then. Danielle said that he went back in slowly. She said that She makes sure She cleans up before they have sex. She said She douches. Robin said that's called and enema. Danielle said She calls it a douche.
Jon said they found that they spend a lot of time washing each other's behinds. He said they like licking each other's anuses. Big Foot said it's like a lollipop. He said he's trying to get to the center. Howard asked if Danielle likes that. Danielle said She does.
Howard asked where Danielle's parents are. She said her mom is in New Hampshire and her dad wants nothing to do with her. She said that at 13 he told her to get the fuck out of the house. Howard asked if She told her mom about this. She said She did. She said her mom asked her not to mention them on the air. She said her mom is awesome though.
Jon said they have pet names for each other. Howard asked what they are. Big Foot said he calls her Tigger because She purrs like Tigger. Danielle said She calls Big Foot ''Poo'' because he farts a lot. Jon said he has such violent gas that it pushes her off the bed.
Howard asked if Danielle has picked a wedding dress yet. Danielle said not yet but they are planing on getting married this summer.
Howard said Big Foot says the highlight of the wedding will be when they push cake into each other's faces. Big Foot said that's right. Howard asked where the honeymoon will be. Danielle said that they will probably just go camping. Howard asked if She's afraid that Big Foot will go camping and be captured. Big Foot said he's afraid of getting shot.
Howard said this is big news. Howard said that he knows this is a touchy subject but Big Foot feels that the President stole his idea to charge tax on marijuana. Big Foot said that he stole several ideas from him. He said that he suggested that they take care of their own roads and ''Harak Obama'' came on the air and said the same things he said.
Howard said they asked Danielle what disease Big Foot last had was. Big Foot said ''Gastritis.'' He was right. Howard asked what animal last bit him. Big Foot said a dog. Danielle said it was her. Howard said that's close enough.
Howard asked what the proposal was like. Danielle said that he didn't propose really. She said he just said he wanted to marry her. Howard asked if he wanted to propose now. Big Foot said yes and just said that he wants to marry her. He didn't ask, he just said he wanted to. Danielle asked where the ring is. Big Foot said that he has to wait until the first of the month for his check to come in.
Jon said he thinks this is a love story. He said that this is a 33 year old woman who has fallen for a 57 year old man. Howard said maybe She's too young for him. Jon said that they want to start a porn business. Danielle said that She was a web cam model making $3.99 a minute. She said that She was with someone else at the time and they made her give it up. Howard asked Big foot if She will fuck Danielle on film. Big Foot said he would. He said he'd do it fully nude. Howard asked Jon if he has looked into that. Jon said they have. He said Danielle has lost over 100 pounds in the last 6 months. Big Foot has lost a bunch too.
Howard said they sent a producer along with Jon and after he visited their home he got rid of the clothes he was wearing. He said he thinks he left them in Vermont. Jon said that they got a call from the hotel on the way to the airport. He said that he left all of his clothes there at the hotel because he couldn't stand to bring them home. Jon said they have a spider infestation at the house and that is a problem. Danielle said that they look like Brown Recluse spiders. Jon said that's why Gregg left his clothes at the hotel. Jon said that the hotel was nice enough to call about that but Gregg didn't want that stuff.
Jon said the only thing that was a bit off putting is that Danielle goes to the bathroom with the door open and She announces it when She goes. She tells you that She's sitting down.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what kind of underwear Danielle wears. She said She wears a thong. She said right now She's not wearing a thong. She said She has panties on though. She said they're black underwear.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what will happen if She does get pregnant. Danielle said that She can't get pregnant. Big Foot said he wants a test tube baby. He said he'll teach it all of his tricks like smoking dope and all of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is the most disgusting interview he's ever heard. He said it sounds like a 911 call. Howard said that they must have a lot of haters like that. Danielle said a lot of them are people who are queer and won't admit it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if their balls ever bang into each other. Danielle laughed and said they do like those balls that ''tink'' together.
Jon said that this is a love story. He said they are affectionate and they do seem to love each other. He said he doesn't think it's just made up either.
Howard asked if Jon is going to retire now. Jon said he's still debating that. He said they have a whole series of interviews with them. He said they'll have that on Howard 101. Howard said that their home is full of love and Brown Recluse spiders. Howard said they have to take a break and get to Hall & Oates who are going to perform two of their hit songs. Howard wrapped up with Big Foot and Danielle and went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that he has Daryl Hall & John Oates in the studio. Howard said this is real fun. He said he's there with the band Hall & Oates. Howard said Daryl has been there but John, this is rare. John said he's been waiting for this. He asked why he doesn't call him. Howard said he's looking forward to this. Howard said they have sold over 80 million albums. Daryl said they didn't see the money from that. He said that they were huge in Africa and they didn't see a dime from that. They were making records and not telling anyone.
Howard said the last time he saw Daryl he said he's not sure he would go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame if they were inducted. Howard said they were finally inducted though. Howard said it's not about that but about how many albums they've sold. Daryl said he went because the fans wanted him to go. Howard asked if John told him to go. Daryl said no. John said he doesn't tell Daryl anything. He said he's his own man.
Howard said the guys used to write together but then as the years went on they wrote separately. They said they actually wrote separately for a long time. Daryl said a lot of the song writing teams do that. Howard asked John if he ever told Daryl it's not as good as he thinks it is. Daryl said they figured that out themselves. Howard asked if they have to be careful like in a marriage. Daryl said that brutal honesty is important but just not too brutal.
Howard said they have written so many number 1 songs. Howard asked why the hall of fame took so long to induct them. Daryl said they are a private club and they have their rules. Howard asked if it's a lack of respect. Daryl said that the establishment has their own version of reality. He said they pick and choose who they want in there. Daryl said that they didn't like them for some reason. He said they don't like soul music or R&B or bands from Philadelphia.
Howard said that he talked to Daryl about dropping out of school and concentrating on music. He said John was doing his thing and they were both at a club with separate bands and they met in an elevator. Howard said they somehow had kismet. Howard asked if they had a discussion in the elevator. John said that their relationship was based on greed. Howard asked how they got to know each other. John said that he saw Daryl's band play once. He was aware of him. Howard asked if they became roommates. They did. John said they went to a radio station after hours and went in and made a tape. He said it was so bad. He said they vowed to never perform with each other. Daryl said it just didn't work. Howard asked how they got into it then. Daryl said they just kept going and going.
Howard said the first song the guys are going to do is called ''She's Gone.'' Howard said they had put out a few albums and things weren't looking so good. Then ''She's Gone'' hits the radio stations and it was a hit. John said it was big in colleges but it wasn't a big hit until after ''Sara Smile.'' Howard said that Sara was someone that Daryl lived with. Howard asked if John introduced them. John said that he did. He said that he got laid with her roommate so that's how he knew her. Howard said Daryl was so smitten with Sara that he wrote a song for her. Daryl said he did. Howard said it was a long term relationship and She was his muse. Daryl said She was. Howard said when that song became a hit that's when things took off.
Howard asked if they knew the song was a hit as soon as they played it. They said they didn't. John said they had pretty much given up on that record.
Howard asked the guys to perform their song now. He said they have a whole band in there. Howard introduced the band and then had them perform ''She's Gone.''
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said he thought that hey were going to do Sara Smile. He said he was cuing them up for that. Howard said he's losing it. He said the song was beautiful. Daryl said the song is very hard to perform this early in the morning. Howard said that song is not about a woman. John said it's about two very sad experiences that they pooled together. Howard said it's a beautiful song.
Howard said he should remind everyone of their hit songs. Howard said Sara Smile was one. Rich Girl was another one. He played clips of each one as he went along. Daryl said that was a very young voice singing there. He said he can't get high like that now. He said he does like his voice now though. John said he likes the way it sounds now too. He said it's gotten richer.
Howard asked if they took lessons on singing. Daryl said there are techniques that you have to do and you have to be very conscious of that. Howard played more of their hits like ''Kiss On My List'' and ''You Make My Dreams''.
Howard asked if the record companies wanted hit songs all the time after that. John said that none of their records sound the same. He said not one of them sounds like another. Howard ran through some more of their hit songs. He played some ''Private Eyes'' and Daryl said that they had a lot of people who helped write that one.
Howard asked if the record companies know how to pick the hits. John said they put the same amount of effort into every song. He said the songs that became hits became hits because people gravitated toward them.
Howard said he's heard that the formula for a hit song is that they have to come to you quickly. John said it's not always true. Daryl said that ''Rich Girl'' took like a year to write. He said they don't all come that fast.
Howard said he talked to Joe Walsh one time and he has songs in his head all the time. Howard asked if that happens to them. John said he has the lyrics for the next song they're performing in his head. Daryl said he's always thinking of a song to finish or something. John said he does the same thing.
Howard played some more of their hit songs. He played ''I Can't Go For That'' and the guys looked kind of uncomfortable. The guys said they like to change up the songs they perform. Howard said that he got confused about Maneater. He heard that it was written as a reggae song. Howard said they changed it up. John said that he knows when things are right and that's the way Daryl wanted to go. Howard said Daryl can be very angry and opinionated. He hates deer. Daryl said fuck the rabbits too. He said he hates field mice too. Daryl said they piss and shit wherever they are because they don't have sphincters. Howard didn't know that.
Howard said when they go on tour now it's much different. John said they used to tour in a 68 GTO with 5 guys in it. John said he looks back on it and it was good times. He said he looks back on the 80s and thinks that the 70s were better. John said everything was new back then.
Howard asked if musicians are experiencing that now. Daryl said that all of the new bands that play on Daryl's house are. He said that they go out there and do their thing. He said he had a couple of young kids who were from England and they only had 80 bucks to their name so they couldn't go home.
Howard asked if there are problems between Hall and Oates. They said not now. Howard asked about Maneater again and asked what it sounded like when it was reggae. John played some of what that sounded like as a reggae song. John thought it was good. Daryl said they do it that way sometimes. He said that wasn't a number one hit like that though.
Howard asked the guys to perform it the way they recorded it. They went into ''Maneater'' after that. After the song Howard said that he liked that arrangement. He said he likes it acoustically. Howard said the song is about the city and not about a woman. Howard said that it's about New York City. Howard said they make it about a woman to make it relateable. Howard asked how they work out the harmonies. They said that's Philly. Howard asked how they work out the highs and lows. John said they sometimes do the same notes together and sometimes they do them differently.
Howard said he heard that they do a song in different octaves. Daryl said that ''She's Gone'' is one they do that in. Howard said he doesn't hear harmonies that much these days. Daryl said that comes from the whole church thing. Howard asked if you can over do it. They said you can. Daryl said you can do it really bad. He said it all depends on the song you're doing.
Howard said the guys recorded a movie that will be in theaters for one night only. Howard said that tomorrow night is the night. The movie is called ''Live in Dublin'' and it's only in theaters for the one day. Daryl said they did a tour last year and he had played the Olympia theater in Dublin years ago. He said it's an amazing place. He said they had never played there together and they knew it was going to be magical. Daryl said they didn't know it was going to be in theaters. He said a company called Fathom came to them and wanted to do that. Howard said the movie will be out on Blu-Ray and DVD next month. You can find out more about the movie at FathomEvents.com
Howard said Live From Daryl's House is going to have another season. Daryl said he's not sure if he can say who is on that. He said he will anyway. He said he has Aaron Neville on this season.
Howard asked Daryl about being a part of the We Are the World thing. Daryl said that was a great thing. He said that he had some amazing people standing around him. He said the crazy thing was that everyone was asking each other for autographs.
Howard said the guys worked with George Harrison. Daryl said he met him through Formula 1 racing. He said that he was friends with Jackie Stewart. He said that he just wanted to be in the band and he wanted to play acoustic guitar. They said that they ended up hanging out with George and watching the movie ''The Rebels'' together.
Howard asked about making a record with George and if they can correct him if he does something wrong. Daryl said they didn't need to do that. Daryl said he was a normal person. John said right after that he was with Tom Petty and those guys. He said he was just looking for something to do. They said they wished they had asked him to do more with them now that they look back on it. Howard said it would have been great if they had written a song together.
John said he went to George's house and there was no memorabilia there. He said they went to his studio and the whole corridor was lined with gold and platinum albums. He said that's the only place it was in the house. He said that's kind of how he was. Howard said he would have them all over the house. Howard asked where they keep their stuff. Daryl said he doesn't have them anywhere. John said he has them in his back room in his basement. Howard said he used to keep stuff in storage but then he started to embrace some of the stuff he got. Robin said that maybe the really special stuff should be on display. Daryl said maybe he'll put the stuff on the front of his house.
Howard asked if there's anyone they've hung out with who made them think they've really made it. John said they got to play with some of the guys from the Temptations and that was a big deal.
Howard said that Daryl was in a band and he won an R&B band competition. They were the only white band in the competition at the time. Howard thought that was pretty cool.
Robin asked if they feel respected now. John and Daryl said they do. John said that the crash of the music business is the best thing that happened to them. He said they already did it and they don't have to worry about it. John said that things are so hard today for the bands that are coming up. Howard said Dave Grohl said that they came out at the right time just under the wire. Now things are really tough.
Howard gave the guys plugs for the movie and the web site and also for the Live From Daryl's House thing. Daryl said that show is tough to do. He said that it's a great show and he loves doing it though.
Howard said the guys look good too. He said that matters. The guys said they like Howard's hair. Robin said he just won a hair award. They congratulated him on that. Howard asked John about how he looks like Baba Booey but not today. John said that Gary is much better looking than he is. He said they've had a running joke going on about that for the past 20 years. Howard said if you want to look like someone in the business that's the one you want to look like. Howard wrapped up and let the guys go a short time later.
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Howard said that Victoria Jackson wasn't allowed at the Saturday Night Live thing. Howard said Gilbert wasn't there. Robin said he was there. Howard asked if Dennis Miller was there. Robin wasn't sure. Howard wondered if some people had an axe to grind with the show. Howard said they should have a special with the people who weren't invited.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't wait for Big Foot. He said that he's going to listen to the replay. Howard said it was great. He said he'll love it. The caller also brought up Nicole Murphy and he said that Nick Cannon has to be the coolest guy on the planet. He was trying to get to a point but Howard said it was taking too long. Howard said he's driving a truck and he's probably exhausted.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that She saw Gilbert sending out pictures from the Saturday Night Live thing. She said that She also got an email from AGT about the tapings in March. She asked if Howard is going to be there. Howard said of course he is. He said they'll be taking a week off in March and he'll be working there. Howard said that he's starting his 4th year and it's the 10th anniversary of the show. Howard said he thinks it should be the 4th anniversary. He said that the other 6 years don't matter.
Mariann brought up Bradley Cooper kissing Betty White on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that he's a real actor. He said he committed to that bit. He said he probably had vomit in his mouth. He said it's like kissing your great grandmother.
Robin started her news talking about it being Ash Wednesday today. Robin gave the details of that and went over the story behind it.
Howard said they showed some kids a picture of Nicole Bass and asked if She looks like a boy or girl. Howard played some of those Wolfie interviews and the kids were saying She looks like a boy. They also asked about Ronnie. The kids were saying that he looks mean and old. One kid guessed he was about 81. Howard said little kids can be really mean.
Howard said that some guy got a news anchor to say ''Jackin Off'' on the news. Howard played the clip where the guy was reading about a traffic problem and thanked ''Jack Kenoff'' for sending in the picture.
Robin read a story about the Kanye West thing on the Grammy's. Robin said She wanted to talk about this. She said that he ran on stage but didn't say anything. Robin said people thought it was a joke but he later re thought that whole thing and went on a rampage about ''real artists'' and how they have to stop playing with them. Robin had a clip of Kanye talking about that and how he thinks Beck should have to give back his Grammy and give it to Beyonce. Robin said that he has since re thought those thoughts as well. Howard said Beck is so talented and he plays almost every instrument. Robin said that Kanye has since said that Beck is an artist but some artists should recognize the other artists in the category. Howard said that's like saying he should give his hair award to Clooney. Howard said he's not going to do that. He won it. Howard said that was an out of line comment from Kanye. He said Beck is a great artist and a real artist. Robin said that Kanye did put Paul McCartney back on the charts for the first time in 29 years.
Robin read a story about Geraldo blasting hip hop music saying that it's destroying culture. Robin had some audio of Geraldo Rivera talking about how it's damaged black and brown people. He said by encouraging this culture they have encouraged people to be so different from the mainstream that they can't participate in jobs other than entry level jobs. Howard said that's the same dumb argument they said about his radio show being destructive and the Beatles being destructive. Howard said if you're in a family that's supportive the kid is going to grow up fine. Howard said that it's the same rap against video games and all of that. He said Geraldo is wrong about that. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that he's thankful for where he lives now that he's seen Big Foot's house. He said that he said yesterday that he wouldn't want to live there but now he loves his place. Howard thanked him for giving thanks on Ash Wednesday.
Robin read a story about how people are selling breast milk to adults. Robin said some of the customers are body builders. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with dudes. He said he's almost embarrassed to be a man. Robin said they're carb loading to work out. Howard said he sees these guys who devote their lives to getting big and it's fucked. Howard said the Indian guy on BanShee is like that. Howard said he must be buying breast milk by the quart. He said he's a big dude. Howard said he sees guys at the gym who are like that. He said they work their legs and chest one part of the day and then they work their arms and other groups later in the day. He said he just wants them to get out of his face. Howard said they eat whole chickens and stuff. He said they're starving from working out. Robin said that breast milk can carry HIV and things like that.
Howard was distracted by Benjy who had a bottle cap in his mouth. Howard said Robin should open a breast milk super store. Howard said that's so gross. Robin said they say that it's for human babies and not adults. Howard said he's glad that his mother never breast fed him. He said just imagine sucking his mother's tit. He said he just threw up a little bit. Howard said She has huge areolas too. Fred played some Ray Stern clips while they were talking about that.
Robin said there's a show called ''The Slap'' and they have a character who breast feeds her child even though he's old enough to walk and talk. Robin said that She's still running around whipping out her tit. Howard said if your kid turns to you and says ''Nice tits'' then it's time to stop breast feeding. Howard said those are emotionally damaged women. He said under a year is fine.
Robin read a story about a woman who was killed after going out to find a man who had confronted her earlier in the day. Robin had some audio of an official who said that the woman took her 22 year old son with her to find that other man. She was shot and died that night. Robin said the mother was trying to teach her 15 year old daughter to drive when they were confronted. Robin said that it continued to escalate and now the mother of 2 is dead.
Howard said he has a cat announcement to make. Howard said that it's only going to take a minute. He said he has Bluebell the cat in the house now. He said She's maybe 2 or 3 years old. She's the mother of the last foster kittens they had. Howard said the family threw the cat outside and left her. Howard said the neighbor saw the cat at the house after the family moved. Howard said the person called Beth and told her about the cat. Howard said Beth is in charge of cleaning up everyone's mess. Howard said that they found homes for the kittens and now they need a home for Bluebell. Howard said She gets nervous around other cats. Howard said that She watched BanShee with him. He said that She follows him around like a dog. Howard said She's wonderful and playful. Howard said they are in love with her but they can't keep another cat. Howard said they would if they could but if you're interested in her you can email BethSternFosters@gmail.com. He said they're also looking for a home for Fred. Howard said Bluebell is fabulous and he hung out with her all last night. Robin said She saw a show about animal emotions and we don't recognize them. Howard said when he leaves in the morning Bluebell cries for 5 minutes. Robin said She's probably afraid of being abandoned. Howard said people blow donkey dick. He said they really do suck. Robin said in the documentary they had a relationship between a dog and a horse and others and it was great. Robin said there was a goat that would take a horse out to a pasture when the horse lost an eye. Robin said the goat didn't last long after that horse died.
Howard said after that tsunami there was a picture of a turtle that made friends with a hippo. He said that he saw the pictures of that. Howard said it was right after that big tsunami. That led to Fred playing George Takei saying tsunami over and over.
Robin read about the ISIS killings of the Egyptians and how upset they are over that. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said no one understood that at all. Robin said it was a real Egyptian. Robin said they found a stash of porn when they found Osama Bin Laden and they have found a lot of porn in other jihadist leaders. Howard said they make up the religion as they go along. He said that's supposed to be a sin. Robin said they indulge themselves in porn and child porn. Then they rape women and sell them as sex slaves. Robin said they have found that they're into this violent and child porn. Howard asked Robin what She would do about ISIS. Robin said these people need to be gotten rid of. Howard said they should go nuclear. Robin said She's not for dropping the bomb but drone attacks and possibly boots on the ground to root out these people. Then we need to get out of that area. Robin said that we destroy every area we touch. Robin said we took Saddam Hussein out of Iraq and now it's a hot bed of terrorism. Robin said Italy is worried about Libya now. Robin said that if ISIS takes Libya then Italy could be in trouble. Howard asked if we should nuke. Robin said no. She said we need to communicate. Robin said we need to educate.
Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who asked if he would let Big Foot and Danielle marry on the show. Howard said yes he would. Howard said anytime he can get them in there he will do it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're shooting Sharknado in Orlando. He asked if Benjy is coming down. Howard asked Benjy to answer directly. He asked if he has been asked to come back. Benjy said yes and no. He said that they are filming down in Orlando with Ian and Tara. Benjy said they told him last week he was going to go down there to film but then he was told they want him somewhere else. He said it's not definite but it will be out in the Summer. Benjy said he isn't sure how they'll explain his death. Howard thanked the caller for asking. The caller thanked Howard for doing the show all these years.
Robin read more about ISIS and how there are people who go off for training and end up coming back to this country. Howard said we should kill anyone who goes to train with ISIS. Robin had some audio of Eric Holder talking about that situation.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who was sleeping on the line. Howard said he keeps him on hold for like 2 hours and he falls asleep. He said those are his best appearances. Howard said Hanzi wanted to talk to him about doing a podcast after Sirius. Howard said if he didn't want to make any money he would do that. He said he wants to broadcast for free. Howard said Hanzi sounds like he's in ISIS and sawing someone's head off right now. Howard sang to Hanzi as he snored away. Howard sang about how he's fat and lives in his parent's basement. Fred played some clips of sawing to go along with Hanzi's snoring. Howard said he'd tell him to wake up but he'd be late for nothing. He kept him on the line a few more minutes. He asked Fred to do a dueling snoring thing. Fred tried it. He had the banjo music playing as Hanzi snored. It wasn't working so well but Howard said it was still funny. He said it was a train wreck. He told Fred to cut it out.
Robin got back to her news and Howard kept Hanzi on the line snoring. Robin was reading stories but seemed to lose track once or twice as Hanzi snored over her.
Robin read about how they're trying to pair down the finalists for the mission to Mars. Howard said we should send Hanzi on the ship when he's sleeping. Robin said there were 200,000 applicants who wanted to go to Mars. Howard said that Hanzi's parents probably sent an application in for Hanzi. Robin said that 33 of the applicants were American but the finalists are not.
Robin read about Alex Rodriguez apologizing for what he did to get suspended. Robin said it was a hand written apology. Howard wondered where Hanzi's phone is. Robin said he must have it next to him on the bed. Howard said it couldn't be better mic'd. Howard said when Hall and Oates were there they weren't able to get them mic'd like that.
Robin said they say that cigarettes should be boxed in plain packages. Robin said when they did that in Australia they notices that sales went down. Robin said that they had larger health warnings on the packaging.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if they have made an offer to him there at Sirius yet. Howard said he doesn't discuss his business... since yesterday. Howard said he doesn't want to comment on where they're at. He said his contract ends in January and he's not sure what will happen. Howard said they don't like him talking about that stuff. Speech said if he does retire he thanks him for the years of entertainment. Howard said maybe he'll just call Speech once a week. Speech said he thinks that Captain Janks is bull shitting about the gay thing. Howard said he should blow him and see if he gets hard. Howard hung up on him in the middle of a sentence.
Robin read a story about how the measles are still spreading. Robin said they have more cases of the measles. Howard said he can't believe people won't vaccinate. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Hanzi was still snoring.
Robin read a story about how Modern Family used iPhones and iPads to shoot a whole episode. Robin said that episode will air soon.
Howard tried to give Hanzi some subliminal messages telling him to go to work and get out of the basement. Hanzi kept snoring. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:05am.
After the break they played a ''Charlie Sheen's Obsession with Kim Kardashian Ass The Musical'' bit. They also played a song parody about Howard and a phony phone call Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria using clips of Howard doing his Elephant Man voice. They also played Pink Floyd's ''Shine On You Crazy Diamond'' and a Baba Booey song parody after that.
After the break Howard came right back and said he had a lot of things he didn't get to today. He said Gary has the list of Wack Packers that he has to go over. Howard said that they have to wait to get to that. Howard said that they have a big discussion there. Howard said they might have to come in tomorrow just to have that discussion. Howard said there are so many things that they have to play.
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. He played her in with a song parody to the tune of a Hall & Oates song. The guy who did it was named Patrick according to Fred.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon asked Anders about Howard talking about Saturday Night Live and how he doesn't think that he wants to do it. Jon said that it's tough to do the show and do other things as well. Jon said that Howard still works his own board and he's like a ringmaster. He said he knows when to move on to the next thing.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how big the ratings would be if Howard did do Saturday Night Live. He said he thinks they'd be huge. Jon said he thinks they would get big numbers. He said that everyone would tune on. He said he has the AGT crew too. Jon said that it would be an interesting thing to see him in that environment. Anders said he thinks there wouldn't be one segment that would go by without someone yelling out Baba Booey.
Jon said they also played the clips of little kids commenting on their looks today. Anders said that it has to be brutal coming from kids. Anders said that they have a pretty relaxed environment at work too but you do have to get the work done. Jon said that Ronnie gets the work done too. He said Ronnie stands up to Howard from time to time. Anders said he thinks there's a fire on the inside and he has to get roughed up once in a while. He said that he's like a UFC fighter that has to get punched in the mouth before he gets into a fight.
Jon said they have a poll up today about which place you'd rather live, Jeff the Drunk's trailer or Big Foot's house. He said he'll have the results at the end of the show. Jon went to break after that.
Jon said that they had Big Foot and Danielle on the show today. He asked Anders if he thinks they'll have a long relationship. Anders said it's cute as fuck what they're doing. He said that he doesn't care what She's got going on down there. He said he's just rolling with it. Jon said that it seems to be a very open relationship. He said they're both up for everything. Jon said they're a cute couple too.
Jon played a clip from the show when Big Foot was introduced to them for the first time. Jon said that right from the start Big Foot was a hit on the show. Jon said that Howard said he would have him on to have the wedding there too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the amount of detail Howard gets into. He said he has never been disgusted until today with the anal squirting. He said it was almost too much to take. Jon said that the squalor they live in sounds interesting. He said that Jon Leiberman was scarred by the embedded he did with him. He said he's surprised he got out unscathed. Anders said he should go get his shots if he hasn't already.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had to call in about Big Foot. He said he thought Beetlejuice was the king of the Wack Pack but after today Big Foot is the most interesting one. Jon said Beet is on Mt. Rushmore but the thing about Big Foot is that they learn more and more about him each time he comes in. He said they kind of know the Jeff the Drunk story already but Big Foot has something new every time. Anders said that the revelations with him are unreal. He said the things you hear when he's on are amazing. The caller said that the stuff he puts out there are just outrageous. Jon said that it would be very hard to not look at them up in Vermont if you ran across them.
Jon took a call from a guy wondered who has the biggest skid mark in their underwear. Anders said he would imagine that they're pretty big in Big Foot's. Jon said that they did say they like to stay clean down there. Jon said he thinks that they may not be as clean as some people but it's clean enough. Jon said that Danielle admitted She had problems with drugs but they are having unprotected sex. Anders said that is the best kind. He said even if you do cover up there's still a chance you're going to get something. They went to break after that.
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Jon said that Daryl and John talked about being in the Hall of Fame and how Daryl went because the fans wanted him to. Gary said that they also got the E Street Band in that night. He said Hall and Oates had to wait because that took so long. He said it was an interesting night. Gary said he was in the front row that night and even got a shout out. He said that got cut from the show though. Anders said that if you have a great voice and 6 songs you're going to stick around forever.
Gary said that a lot of people are afraid to say they're fans of them. He said that they come out of the woodwork when they start to make a comeback. Gary said someone on the show said it was bullshit to say that it's a guilty pleasure. He said it might have been Dave Grohl who said you just admit to it and own it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they are forgetting about Rush. He said that they're more popular than ever and he's wondering why Howard isn't having them in. He said he would bet that 70 percent of the audience are fans. Gary said he doesn't think Howard is keeping them off. He said that he and Jon are on a mission to get them on the show. Jon said he is committed to get them on. He said they have had a lot of bands in there and he will try to get that trio in there. Jon said they are doing their best.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Anders about having their asses out on an episode and how hard that was to get on the air. Anders said they were mooning each other a lot in the episode. He said it was only in there once in the script. He said they kept making it a thing in the episode and got it up to like 9 or 10 moons. Gary said the show has a very Richard and Sal mood to it. Anders said if it's funny they have to do it. He said there are some people on the staff who have a Sal and Richard'ness to them.
Gary said they went to a memorial service for someone recently and Sal and Richard went to the bathroom together. The woman of the house was freaked out but She didn't know that they pee together.
Jon brought up Howard doing the Fartman thing and how he showed his ass on TV. Gary said Howard had to take a long walk to the tent where they were doing interviews and he went with it the whole way. He said that was even more brave than the TV thing. Jon asked if he thinks he's proud of that or ashamed of it. Gary said it's somewhere in between. Jon asked Anders what he thinks. Anders said when you film yourself doing something stupid it's like a ghost and a younger you that he doubts Howard regrets. He said mission accomplished.
Jon read the results of the poll and 13 percent of the people picked Big Foot's house as the place they'd rather live. He wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 11:45am.
Jon asked Colin if there's anything in particular they like. Colin said they like Sal and Richard and the Tradio calls. Jon asked who introduced him to the show. Colin said he would come to the US and hear Howard on. He said he thinks they started listening to it most when they got there on Sirius. Jon said they can listen anytime anywhere.
Gary came in and Jon asked if there's a bond he has when he meets someone who is a Howard fan. Colin said he's more surprised when he finds out someone isn't a fan. Jon said that more and more people are coming out and saying they like Howard. Gary said there are more than you think now. He said that he used to go to parties and he'd see people that he had to get away from because they were dicks to them on the radio.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's replays. Jon said that they ran the gamut this week with the guests. Jon said they have a poll question up about which bit you'd want Howard to do if he did host Saturday Night Live.
Jon asked Colin about doing Saturday Night Live when he was with Men at Work. Colin said they did the show and it was amazing for them. He said they were number 3 on Friday and then Eddie Murphy came in to say hello. He said on Monday they were number 1 so it made a huge difference. He said he thinks they did the show 3 times. Jon said that there's a lot of talk about Eddie Murphy's appearance on the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary show. Jon said he doesn't think that hurt his popularity on the show. Gary said Eddie was on the cast after Lorne left. Gary said that people didn't think they'd be able to keep the show going but people say that Eddie carried that show on his back for a few seasons. Jon said it was his world but he did have other people there who were great.
Gary said he thinks Eddie did Trading Places, 48 Hours and he also hosted the show. Colin said he was a young man and you have a lot of energy as a young man. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon said there are people who wonder what they're going to do when they're not there. Gary said that he talked to a publicist recently and said they're off next week and the publicist wondered what they're going to do for the week.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's a big fan of Colin's. He said they do a remarkable show. He said Colin does a bit of a comedy act too. He said he's followed him and he's a fantastic performer. The caller said they have a big list of people from Saturday Night Live who have been on the show but Adam Sandler hasn't been on. Gary said he'd like to get him on. The caller said he doesn't think that Howard is a fan of his work. Gary said they'll get him up there eventually.
Gary said because of Colin he actually tried Vegemite. He said that when the song was out he wanted to try it and it was awful. Colin said there is a technique to eating it. He said you have buttered toast and you just wave the Vegemite over it without touching the bread.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how much the appearance on Scrubs affected his career. Colin said that he met Zach Braff and he introduced him to Bill Lawrence and he got on the show and it made a huge difference in his career. Jon said Bill and his wife Christa Miller are big fans of the Stern show too. Colin said they are. Colin said it's been massively helpful for him to be on that show and having his song used in Zach's film ''Garden State.'' He said he just recently found out that they're all fans of the show. Gary said he thinks that Christa is the biggest fan of all of them. Colin said that Christa was trying to get Bill to come see him and Zach was the one who convinced him. Gary said that she picked the music for Scrubs. She was the music director for the show. Gary said she gets some bands some good exposure.
Jon said it was a rough road for Colin for a while. Colin said they were an MTV band for awhile and then things just went away after they broke up. He said that the caller said that he used to play for 10-15 people from playing for 30-40,000. He said it's been very nice and this country has been very kind to him over the past 20 years or so. He said he's been building up with fans over the years.
Jon said Howard's fan base is still growing and he wonders how Colin thinks he does it. Colin said Howard does what he wants to do and he's like a beacon that people are drawn to. He said that they're drawn to authenticity. Jon asked Gary if he's amazed that the show keeps growing and growing. Gary said it does and it doesn't. He said he got on when the show was starting out. He said that the show has grown and Howard's reach has grown. He said he knows Howard and the guys are funny and they make him laugh.
Gary asked Jon about Howard signing on for another contract. He said he'll be close to 62 years old and another 5 years would make him 67. He asked if he thinks he'll go to Joan Rivers territory and work until he dies or will he pull the plug. Jon said he thinks he will pull the plug but he's not sure when. He said he thinks Howard wants to do the work but wants to be well compensated for it too. He said the wild card for him is the stuff outside of this world and how appealing it is for Howard. He said he thinks Howard has opened that world up. He said that's going to factor into it too. Jon said he also feels a responsibility to the other guys on the show. He said his happiness has to come first though. Gary said there was a long time when Howard had no other interests. He said that he's now opened up that world. Colin said that some people are focused on the career and as you get older other things come into play. He said it's not even about the money. He said it has to do with how you want to spend the rest of your time.
Gary said he thinks there was a lot of time on the show when he felt like he was in an army and they were fighting everyone. He said he feels they have gotten to where they want to be and at some point you wonder how long you have to be there before it's enough. Jon mentioned the poll they have up and then went to break.
Jon said that they had Chevy Chase talking them in. He said they had huge ratings with the 40th anniversary show. He said that they had like 20 million viewers. Gary said someone wrote another article ranking the cast. He said you can tell how old they are based on who they put at number 1.
Jon said those lists are always made to make people argue. Jon said that Howard and Fred had Dan Aykroyd at number 1 on their lists. Jon said that you can feel a tangible excitement over that. Gary said they tried to get him on for years. He said when he left they were all talking about how nice a guy he was. Jon said that Dan said he'll come back to talk about Ghostbusters this summer too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard shouldn't retire. He said that there are a lot of people who won't be able to live without him. Gary said he understands that but what about Howard? He said if Howard is just tired then what? The caller said that he's too young. Jon said it's just radio so he can do it until he's 70 or 80. Gary said they were thinking about having an artist on the show and the person is older. He said Howard told him that he understands why they can't do a lot at that advanced age because he's 61 and feeling every day of it.
Colin said that he goes to the store and wonders if this is something he can still open instead of wondering if he can still eat it.
Jon took a call from Christa Miller who said she was happy to hear them talking about her. Christa said they were so happy to have Colin on Scrubs. She said that they were fighting over him. She said that she told Bill a thousand times to go see him and he didn't go. She said that Colin's show is amazing and she's been a fan for so long. She said his show is amazing. Christa said that she can't believe that they haven't talked about Howard. Colin said they should.
Jon asked who Christa thinks is the biggest superfan of her, Bill and Zach. She said that she is. Christa said that she and her friends talk about Howard for hours. She said they break down the show for hours. She said Zach is a superfan but he doesn't religiously listen. Christa said she doesn't even want to talk about him retiring.
Jon said Christa is Bill Lawrence's wife and she's been on many shows and she's a great actress. Gary said he remembers meeting her when Drew Carey came on the show. He said he remembers her eyes being the size of saucers when she was there with Drew. Jon said that Christa is there every day listening to the show.
Gary asked Christa if he did a deep trivia contest between her and Natalie, who would win? Christa said that Natalie asks her questions trying to screw her up. She said she asked about KC losing the poker game and she couldn't remember. She said that Natalie told her that it was $250,000 and Gary told him not to spend it. She said that Natalie asked her some other questions about Mark Harris too.
Jon asked Christa how she would compare herself and Bill against Big Foot and Danielle. Christa said they don't come close. She said that is the most fantastic couple she's ever heard.
Christa told Gary about that time she came in with Drew and how he told Howard that he should have her in because she's cute. She said she appreciates that. Gary said of course he'd do that. Jon said that Gary also got Donna Dixon in the studio. Gary said that he got Sharon Osbourne on the show like that too.
Christa said she can't figure out what accent Donna Dixon has. Gary said they found out she's from Virginia. Christa said she sounds like she's Irish or something. Gary said that she sounds highly educated. Christa said she's highly educated herself. Jon thanked her for calling in and let her go a short time later.
Jon said fans get together and talk about the show like that. He said that's what gets you through the long car trips. Colin said it really does. He said it's good on the long desert trips. He said that they have all of that around them and they're more concerned about High Pitch Eric's weight. Colin said they also enjoy hearing the Eric the Actor calls and Howard asking him about what roles he'd play or not play. Gary said he loved his southern accent as Derrick from Texas.
Jon said he has the results of the poll. He said 73 percent of the votes were for Howard doing his Ted Kennedy impression. He said 27 percent were for Elephant Man and 0 percent for the My Left Foot. Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and some plugs for Colin. They ended the show around 11:45am.
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Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon mentioned that Seth Meyers will be on next week. He said that Hall and Oates coming in was Gary's dream come true. He said they can talk about Saturday Night Live and Dan Aykroyd and all of that. He said he had to take a break after that.
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Jon said that he has to get to the callers now. He took a call from Eric and asked him where High Pitch Eric got the pizza he was raving about. Eric didn't know. Jon said last time he took a lot of flak for not giving the right answer out. He said he doesn't want to give any freebies out.
Jon took a call from a guy named Mike. Jon asked Mike his first question about this week. He asked Mike what rock star did Dan Aykroyd's wife date before Dan? Mike said that he's not cheating because he's driving. Mike didn't remember.
Jon took a call from Jay and asked him ''Including his current lawsuit, how many times has King of All Blacks sued his employer? Jay said this is the second time. Gary said he is correct. Jon played a drop for Jay and said he has to identify the voice. It was Christian Bale yelling on the set of Terminator. Jay got that one correct too. Jon asked Jay an old school question which was ''What religious figure is the subject of the classic parody ''Sweatin' with the Devil''. Jay didn't get that one right.
Jon took a call from Lou and asked him if he had any feedback about the show this week. Lou said that Hall & Oates were really good. He said Daryl Hall has a great voice. Jon said that they still have their voices and it's incredible. Gary said they were doing it at that time in the morning too. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about the band and how bad their videos were back in the 80s.
Jon asked Lou what the second song was that Hall & Oates performed this week. Lou knew it was ''Maneater.'' Jon said that he has his drop now. Jon said he has two answers for this one. Jon said he wants the actor or the role he was playing in this drop. It was from Ed Wood and it was ''Fuck You'' by Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi. Lou got that one. Jon asked Lou which actor the studio thought about having play Howard Stern in Private Parts. Lou said he thinks it is Jeff Goldblum. He was correct. Jon said Lou is a winner. Jon said his prize is a signed picture of him and one of Gary. Lou said that's stellar. Jon said he won the trivia game today. He said they may get him back on to play against Gary himself in a tournament of champions.
Jon said he has the correct answers for the other questions. The pizza question about High Pitch was from 7-Eleven. He said they serve pizza now. Jon said they also asked what the figure was in ''Sweatin' with the Devil'' and that was Cardinal John O'Connor. Jon said they also asked what rock star Dan Aykroyd's wife dated. That was Paul Stanley. They went to break after that.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the Saturday Night Live 40th anniversary show. He said he hopes Dan comes back every couple of months too. Gary said there was a story in there that he loved about how Dan got really mad one time. He said they didn't get into it very deep but Dan was upset for not being paid the money he was due. Jon said they took money out of his check for something and that upset him. Gary said that NBC has this really nice building. He said on the 8th floor they have marble up there. He said the story is that Dan went out and spray painted the word ''Beelzebub'' on the marble up there. He said that it was cleaned up and never discussed after that. Jon said Dan got paid eventually and then he left to have a great career.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that his voice has been used in the drops talking about some of the Robin songs. He said the Dan Aykroyd interview was fantastic. He said he's a huge fan of the Blues Brothers. Jon said that he was in a lot of great movies. He said he was in so many iconic movies. He said that he always loved that he could play anybody on Saturday Night Live too. He said that he was a great guest.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the show in the past year or so. He said Howard seems to regret some of the things he's done over the years. He asked Gary if he thinks Howard would go back in time to change his behavior if he could? Gary said that's a question for Howard to answer. He said he should call in and ask Howard that. Gary said he doesn't know the answer to that. The caller said it's something he thinks about a lot lately. He said he's been a fan for a long time and Howard is a different Howard now. He said he'd love to hear an answer about that. Gary said he can say that as he's gotten older he has mellowed out himself. He said that he told a story a couple of weeks ago about calling his science teacher and apologizing to him for the way he treated him. Gary said that Howard might look back at his life and think the same thing. Jon said he doesn't think Howard would change it. He said the current Howard wouldn't do things the same way but he was obsessed with the show back then. He said his mentality was that and that's what he did. Jon said that you have a different perspective as you get older. Jon said he should call in Monday to ask Howard.
The caller said he knows that they have the sponsor Casper beds and he's wondering if they are giving any away. Gary said they're not but maybe they can get they to sponsor a trivia contest.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he thinks Dan Aykroyd is his favorite from SNL. Gary said it's so hard for him to pick. He said Dan is a favorite because he's an original. He said he loves Phil Hartman and Bill Hader too. He said he loves Phil and Bill but it's really tight between Aykroyd and Belushi. He said all you have is that small amount of stuff he did and it was great. Gary said he's going to cop out and say he's stuck between Aykroyd and Belushi.
The caller asked what they think about the news about Eddie Murphy backing out of doing a Cosby thing on SNL. Gary said he could have done something else. He said he's not sure why he would back out and not pick something else to do. Jon said Keenan was more than happy to play the part.
Jon said tonight on Howard 101 they have the SNL On Stern special coming up. He played a preview clip of that special which airs tonight. Jon said that they took the original special, reordered it and added new material. Jon said it's on tonight at 9pm Eastern. It will replay over the weekend. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:55am.