|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Today's show was over around 10:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how he loves every holiday they have. He said he loved Martin Luther King day. He said they're back live this morning. He said they have a couple of guests coming in and one of them is Aaron Eckhart who played Two Face in the Batman movie. Howard said he'll be coming in to promote I, Frankenstein. He said that they also have Jonah Hill coming in. He said he's nominated for an Oscar again.
Howard kept asking if Robin was there but they had a technical problem. Howard said he can faintly hear her. Gary said they know she's connected. Howard said he's putting her microphone down until they fix it.
Fred said that Jonah Hill has had more nominations than Robert Redford. Howard said everyone wants him in every movie. Howard said he turned down two big comedies and he's getting away from that kind of stuff. He said he could have had a role in the Hangover movies but he turned them down.
Robin was up so Howard turned up her microphone. He asked her what she was talking about with someone having her back. Robin said they were talking about the Lone Survivor movie. She said she was talking about the guys having your back in the movie. Howard said he's coming in the middle of that conversation.
Howard said he wants to mention a couple of things. He said the TV show Banshee is back and he wants people to watch it. He said Robin turned him on to that. He said he's been watching Justified too. Robin reminded him that it was back too. Howard said that he started watching Banshee and he had to go back and look to see what the show was about. He said he had forgotten the show completely.
Howard asked Robin if she's prepared a speech for the NAACP thing. Robin said she's not sure she'll be getting anything on TV. Howard said she should be the whole show. Robin said she hasn't seen any book awards on TV.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks. King wasn't there so Howard asked if they have a technical problem again. Howard kept saying hello until King answered. Howard said fuck this and hung up. He said he's not doing this.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he picked up Billboard Magazine since he's on the cover. Howard said he is in the magazine and they sold out rather rapidly. Bobo said that it is hard to find. Howard said the guys who wrote the article were really nice guys. He said he sat with them for a good hour or so. Howard said he forgot to tell Robin that he was being interviewed. Howard said he did it around the birthday show. Howard said the guy who photographed him for the cover was Andrew Eckles. He said he's very talented. He said he did a nice job with that. Howard said people accused him of dying his hair. He said he doesn't dye his hair. He swears he doesn't. Bobo said it looks great. Howard said Bobo would know since he pays for his hair. Howard said he liked the picture on the cover. He said he thought it was attractive. Howard said someone accused him of having a chin implant but he doesn't. He said it's funny what people say about a photo. He said people thought it was photoshopped but it really wasn't. Howard said he saw the shot the day the guy took it.
Bobo said that Billy Joel said that Howard was the best interview he had in the past 50 years. Howard said he saw that too. He said he saw what he said and he has to thank him for saying that. Howard said he appreciates that. Howard let Bobo go after that. Howard said Bobo calls in every day and he feels better after talking to him.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who was there this time. King asked why Howard's hair is black but his beard is grey. Howard said he's not sure why that is but it is. King asked if he intentionally does the Don Johnson look. Howard said he is doing his look without his looks. Howard said he hadn't shaved and he was going to before the shoot but his wife told him not to. He said he agreed to leave it that way. King said she loves it and she wanted him to keep it. King told Howard he should try lining it. He said you line around the outsides so it's trimmed. Howard said he doesn't understand what he's saying and he doesn't care that much. King said Howard does care. Howard laughed at what he was telling him to do. He let him go a short time later. Howard said maybe he'll put lightning bolts in it.
Howard said they gave Bobo a ticket to the birthday show the other day. He said he doesn't think Pete got one. Gary said he didn't get one. He just didn't make the list. Howard said the guy was crying after the game. Howard said Ham Hands got one too. Howard said that Ham Hands was crying before he got the ticket. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Ham Hands and he was crying like a baby over it. He was talking about how much he loves the show and how he's not the crazy guy that some people think he is. Howard said he's a very regular guy. Robin said that's a revelation.
Howard said you can't not have Ham Hands at the birthday show. Howard said he can't wait until this thing is over. He said they've offended their friends who have asked to come and they just can't give everyone tickets. Howard said they have a couple more ways to win and a few more tickets to give away. He said all the proceeds for the auction will be given to the North Shore Animal League. He said you can find out how to do that at HowardStern.com
Howard said he has a lot of friends who want to come to the party but he doesn't have tickets. He said he wanted to have Sam Benrubi there but he just didn't have the tickets. Jason came in and said they have one more contest going on where you can win a VIP experience to the birthday bash. He said you get to walk the red carpet and more.
Howard asked what the plastic noise was in there. It was Fred looking for something. Jason told Howard about the final ticket contest and how that's the last chance to win.
Howard said they don't have tickets for everyone and he's apologizing to everyone who didn't get one. Howard said he wanted to have his photography teacher to come. He said he told Gary he had to get him one. Gary didn't have nay left. Howard told him he has to find one. He said he told him to throw someone else out. Howard said he told Gary to give him Benjy's seat. He said this has been going on all week.
Robin said she got a letter from a friend of her's who wanted a ticket and she just had to tell him there were none to give. Howard said he wanted to come through for people but he just can't do it. Howard said it's a radio show and people can listen. He said it's really work for them and that's it. He said that it's just 1500 seats and that's all they can have there.
Robin asked if Donald Trump will be there. Howard said he will not. Howard said he was on the phone with Donald and there are a lot of people who won't be there. He said Trump could have gotten in but he will be out of the state.
Howard said he got a preview copy of the Jack Ryan movie and it's really good.
Howard said he has audio of Bobo getting a ticket last week after getting bummed out. In the clip Bobo was talking to Gary and started to cry. Gary asked what that means for him. Bobo said he was depressed and he can't snap out of it. Howard said the guy was in a depression over it. Gary broke the news to Bobo that he was going to have one ticket for him to get in. Bobo sounded thrilled and thanked Gary for that. He said he really loves those guys and they're like extended family. Howard said now there's leftover Xanax.
Howard asked Fred if he has their song ''Magical Mystery Tour.'' Fred said he had what they did on the show. Howard had him play it. He said that's not what he was thinking it was but he had Fred keep playing it. Fred also played their cover of ''Revolution'' that was a poor recording. Howard said that must be from when they were at K-Rock. Howard said they always fucked things up over there at K-Rock. He said it was such a waste of time. He said it was such rinky dink bullshit there. Howard said the radio executives over there didn't have half the brain cells he has. Howard said it would make him nuts every night.
Howard asked if they have a good sound person for the birthday show. Gary said they hired a very good sound company to handle it. Howard said if it doesn't sound good he's going to stop the show.
Fred found the ''Revolution'' cover that he had heard. Howard had him play that. Howard said that band was good. He said he was listening to a lot of music over the weekend.
Howard said he was listening to James Brown too. Howard told Fred to get ''Hot Pants'' to play during the breaks at the birthday show. Howard had Fred play some of that too. Howard said he has no idea what he's saying in the song but he likes it. Howard said the guy wrote a song about hot pants.
Howard said he likes David Bowie singing ''Across the Universe'' too. He said he likes the live version. Robin said she likes that too. Howard said he knows Robin has never heard that. Robin laughed. Howard told Fred to play that for Robin too. Fred played the song and Robin said she's never heard it. Howard said this is a great version. He let it play for a short time. Howard said he was a god back then. He said he had that look like he hadn't eaten in a year. He said this song is breathtaking.
Gary said he looked it up and it was spandex and cotton. Howard said they don't say spandex on there. He said it says something else. Howard said his aren't cotton and spandex. Howard had Benjy come back to see what they say. Benjy checked the label and it said 90 percent micro modal. Howard said that's what he was talking about. Benjy said his ass looks good. Howard said he's been doing squats. Robin said this micro modal is a type of rayon. Robin said it's a cellulose fiber that's made using cellulose. Robin said that rayon is natural and that's where this comes from. Benjy said that it's semi-synthetic though. Howard said he loves the underwear but it's not natural. He said he loves them though. He said he isn't sure if he should be wearing them if they're not natural. Robin read more about what they say about the product and it was sounding good to Howard.
Howard told Fred to play that Pearl Jam song ''State of Love and Trust'' because he loves that one. He said he can play that at the birthday show too. Fred played a live version of the song. Howard said that's it. Robin said she's not sure if Howard can pick the music. Howard said this is a live version. He said that he should play the studio version. Fred found the studio version and played that instead. Howard said that's what he would use. He let that one play for a little while.
Howard said this is one of the greatest songs ever. Robin said she was listening to the mix and she wasn't sure about it. Howard said he knows what he's doing. Howard said she's just swooning because Benjy said he didn't see any cellulite on his ass.
Howard said he was watching Jimmy Fallon with Bruce Springsteen and he was jealous. He said he had him on the whole show. Howard said he wondered what his problem is and why he won't come in there to chat. Howard said he would have liked to have chatted with him.
Robin said she was watching a documentary about Sprinsteen's fans. Howard said they're psychotic with him. Robin said they really are. She told some stories about the documentary and how some guy had a girl break up with him the night of a concert so he made a sign and got called up on stage to talk to Bruce about it.
Howard said Russell Johnson from Gilligan's Island died. Howard said he played the professor on the show. Robin asked who is left. Howard said that Gilligan died and so did the skipper. He said he thinks that Ginger and Mary Ann are still alive. Howard said he thinks they are anyway. He said that Thurston Bowel and Lovie are dead. Howard said he thinks that the two girls are the only ones left. Robin said they should still have the show on and they should have watched them all succumb to natural causes. Howard said that would have been good.
Howard said the funny thing is that the professor could build anything but a boat on that island. Howard said that they had the funeral on a 3 hour cruise. Robin asked if he's kidding. Howard said he's not. He said they made his casket out of coconuts.
Howard said he realized how many times he jerked off to the professor. He said he'd be jerking off to the girls and then he'd walk in. Howard said he would cum looking at the professor's face. He said it was so wrong but that's the way it went down. Howard said his timing was way off.
Howard said the Superman vs. Batman movie has been delayed until 2016. He said he's looking forward to that. He said he thinks that Batman could defeat Superman. Howard said that he just needs Kryptonite. Robin said that's not a fair fight. Howard said they have to use everything they have. He said that Superman can find out if someone has Kryptonite with his x-ray vision. Robin asked what they were fighting about. Howard said sometimes Superman would be on red Kryptonite and Batman would have to get him off of it. Howard said that the Batman and Superman porno is right on track for release. He said that's going to be a real action film.
Howard said Madonna used the N-word. He said she used ''Niggah'' but still. He said she was tweeting when she said it. Howard said she said something about her son and she used that term. Howard said Sal was all turned on and went out and adopted a black son so he could use the word too. Robin said they should take that child away from Madonna. She said that's disgusting.
Howard said that Jay Leno has announced his two final guests. They're Billy Crystal and Garth Brooks. Howard said it shows Jay has his finger on the pulse of what's popular. Howard said he'd like to have Billy on the show. Gary said that he's softening him up and he's trying to get him on the show. Howard said that's good news. Gary said he has made some headway.
Howard said Stuttering John was fucking with Billy and that upset him. He said he was upset that things went horribly wrong between them. Howard said he's upset that he gave Robin Williams a hard time too. Robin said that Robin Williams wasn't speaking. Howard said he blames himself. Gary said that's not why Robin is upset with them. He was upset with Howard calling his wife ''the nanny.'' Howard said he thinks that ship has sailed.
Howard said Dennis Rodman put himself in rehab when he got back from North Korea. Howard said he has to take a break and then get to Aaron Eckhart. He said he's looking forward to talking to him. Howard said he has to talk to him about playing Two Face and some of the other things he's done. Howard said he looks like he has a six pack in this I, Frankenstein movie. Robin said he looks incredible. Howard told her to calm down over there. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he loves that song. He sang along with it a little bit. He said he can suck the emotional quality right out of a song like that.
Howard said they had Aaron Eckhart there. Howard said he loves anything Frankenstein. He said he's in the new movie ''I, Frankenstein.'' Howard said he looks good. Howard asked Aaron about getting into shape and if his photo on the Muscle and Fitness magazine is photoshopped. Aaron said that he didn't even have a protein shake in that.
Howard asked if he did any modeling. Aaron said he did J. Crew. Howard asked why he's embarrassed by that. Aaron said that they asked for an ugly guy. Howard said he asks actors if they modeled and they get embarrassed. He said he's not sure why that is. He said it's looked at like they're demeaning themselves. Aaron said there is no acting skill in it. He said that he didn't get any auditions in 4 years living there in New York. He said he had to do something to make money.
Howard asked if his family thought he was barking up the wrong tree. Aaron said he started acting at 13 and he always said he was an actor. He said he was the dreamer in the family and he was the one who was going to be looked after in the family. He said he was number 3 in the family and the two older ones were going to have to look after him. He said his older brother made movies and did some acting. Howard said he's glad he never had a brother. He said he'd feel competitive. Aaron said he's mature so he can get through that. He said he can't step on someone else's dream.
Howard said he has friends who have brothers or sisters that get into acting when they're already acting. Howard said it's competitive enough already. Aaron said it is tough. He said he did have a conversation with his brother. He said he told his brother to get off his cloud. Aaron said that he can't have that conversation with someone. Howard asked if it would be a problem if his brother became more successful than him. Aaron said he'd be okay with it at this point. He said that his brother is a good director. He said he made a movie and it's really good. He said his brother is an older brother so it's hard for him to take notes from him.
Howard asked if he has gone to directors and asked for things to be changed. Aaron said he has. He said he doesn't do it right away. He said a few days in he might do it. He said he's not easy. He said that they haven't kicked him off a movie yet but he could be. Howard asked what movies he's been a pain in the ass on. Aaron said it's this one that he's promoting. Howard asked if he has to stay in character. Aaron said he does. He said he's not fucking around. He said he's been doing this his entire life and he's not fucking around.
Howard asked Aaron if he's ever killed anyone for being a shitty actor. Aaron said that people have been killed for less. Howard said he knew a guy who winged it through his movie and you can't do that when you get a shot. Aaron said that people will think that they can win an Academy award for some job they're doing for the first time and they just don't get it. Howard said that Aaron waited a long time to get a break in a movie. Howard said he has read that he says that he's bad at auditioning. Aaron said that he needs the reality on a set. He said he doesn't want to be an actor. He said he reacts to things that are real so it's hard for him to pretend. He said to give the best performance he has to have things on the set and have actors there.
Howard asked Aaron about playing Two Face and how he didn't have all the make up on when he was playing the part. Aaron said they did a lot of that in post. Howard asked if he thinks his performance would have been even better if he was in full make up. Aaron said he thinks it could have been even better. Howard said that was a big break to get that role. Aaron said he was happy that he got the call to do the movie and work with Heath Ledger. He said Heath had such balls to do that movie. He said he was in character all the time on set. Howard said he made that into an academy award winning part. Aaron said that he set the bar for comic book movies forever.
Howard asked what Heath would do on the set. Aaron said that he would be on set muttering to himself and things like that. He said he was doing all of the ticks and moves that the Joker would do. He said he would watch him moving an hour before they were shooting. He said that they were even messing around off camera like they were in character.
Aaron said the crew loves that crap. He said he just did a movie where he was in a wheelchair. He said he stayed in the chair and made sure no one on set helped him.
Howard said Aaron did a movie with Nicole Kidman and he went to a parents group of people who had lost children. He said he told a story as if he had really lost a child. Howard said that's crazy. Aaron said it's rude too. Robin said it really is rude. Howard asked if they advised him not to do that. Aaron asked who ''they'' would be. Howard said maybe his parents. Aaron said that it is very sensitive to go into something like that. Howard asked if Nicole Kidman went with him. Aaron said she was in the Bahamas or something when he was doing that. Howard said probably everyone in the room had lost a child. Aaron said they had and it was very fresh on their minds. Aaron said that one person starts and then they go around the room. He said they got to him and they get to him and he gives the details. Howard asked how he lost his child in the movie. Aaron said it was in a car accident. He said you give the character's name and tell the story. Aaron said he cried and lost it. Aaron said that they were right there with him too. He said they were consoling him and putting their arms around him. Howard said he must think he's too far into the role at that point. Aaron said that you really believe that you just lost a child when you're doing that. He said he didn't want to be rude to people who lost a child. Aaron said he felt like he was right there though. He said that's all there is to it. Howard asked if he tells them to come see his movie after that. Aaron laughed. Howard asked if they wonder why he never came back after that. Aaron was joking about the whole thing. Aaron asked if this is a national show. Howard said they're going to find out about this whole thing.
Aaron told Howard about doing this movie where he's in a wheelchair. He said he went out and wheeled around in the thing and saw this woman out on the street. He was in character for this ''Incarnate'' movie. He said he was asking the woman if this was her house. He said she was about to go into her house and she asked if he was having a good day. He said he was muttering and mumbling to himself. He said that he just saw a huge transformation in this woman. He said he yells at some people in the chair too. He said he'll get cut off by a car and yell at the people.
Howard said that he's playing Frankenstein and he isn't playing that kind of character that grumbles. Aaron said that it's a modern day Frankenstein but he's still playing that monster. He said it's a modern day telling of the story. He said he still has rage and he has to learn to walk. He said as time goes on he starts walking normally. He said he doesn't know how to speak but he eventually does. He said you see a little bit of that transformation. Robin said she came out of the preview and said that Frankenstein is a hunk. Howard said he's much different than the past Frankenstein movies. He's still brought to life by electricity and all of that. Aaron said that it sticks to the original story when it comes to that.
Howard asked if he's getting any action on the back end of this movie. Aaron asked if he's talking about sex. Howard said he's talking about points in the movie. Aaron said that people always say that a movie is going to change him and it doesn't. Howard said he's going to see a whole other level of scripts after this. Aaron said we'll see. He said he doesn't believe that right now. He said there may be a bump though.
Howard asked if he has any pressure on him from this movie. Aaron said he feels pressure from his peers. Howard asked who his peers are, Bradley Cooper? He said he likes Brad. Howard asked if he meets the guys that he's fans of. He said he has met some. He said that he'd like to meet Daniel Day Lewis.
Aaron told Howard that he worked with Sean Penn and how he did this movie with him and got some advice. He said that he told him to think about taking a woman to a movie premiere and think about what it would be like to fuck that woman for inspiration.
Howard asked if it's intimidating to work with someone like Jack Nicholson. Aaron said it can be. He said that he's such a professional. Aaron told Howard about doing the movie with him and how they go up to Benicio's body in this scene where he gets shot. He said that he asked Jack what he was thinking when he picked up the tooth. He said Jack told him he was just counting to 10.
Howard said being in a play is harder than being in a movie. Aaron said the challenge of a movie is keeping up your intensity over that 6 months of a shoot.
Howard said Aaron admits that he gets aroused during his sex scenes. Howard said he had the same problem. Aaron said he's not sure he openly admits that. Howard said he's a man so it's normal to get an erection. Aaron said that as an actor you're trying to be aroused and be in that scene.
Howard asked what it's like to be with a woman you don't like being with. Aaron said that you can see dirt marks and sweat marks from people after you're in bed all day. He said that people's bodies do things after being under the lights all day.
Robin said he did a scene in The Rum Diary. She said that he was with this Amber Heard and it was the sexiest scene in a movie ever. Aaron said that you do stay near each other during those scenes and you can eventually make your exit. Howard asked if he has to apologize for the boner. Aaron said you don't have to. He said it's a compliment to the woman. Howard said he was embarrassed when he had to hold his down. Aaron said that he puts it on them to explain it. He said they're supposed to be in love and doing this thing. He said that they only do that when they're on camera. Howard said he would be jealous if he was with Julia Roberts and Aaron is with her on set. Howard asked if she's the one who was dirty on set. Aaron said she was very clean.
Howard said he's not sure how he has a career if he can't audition. Aaron said he has friends. He said he was living in an apartment that was very small and a friend called him to play a part. He said he drove out to Indiana with a trucker friend. He said he didn't have an agent or anything before the movie. Aaron said he went from having nothing to having Sean Penn call him asking to meet him. He said that's how it went.
Howard said he can't wait to see this Frankenstein movie. He said he loves anything Frankenstein. Howard said that he probably has a built in audience with it. Howard asked if he had other guys ahead of him for the role. Aaron said there were probably some. He said he knows what it's like when it comes to that stuff. Aaron said he's going to go home and disappear later this week. He said that he doesn't want to know what's going on with the movie. Howard said he lives in Montana so is that where he's going. Aaron said if he says that then he's not disappearing.
Howard asked what he does in Montana all day. Aaron said he moves rocks and tends to the land out there. Howard asked if that's how he stays in shape. Aaron said that is how he does it. He said they have rocks out there that they have to move and he moves and lifts them. Howard said he feels like a hamster in the gym when he's working out. He said that's like being a real man when he's doing the rock moving. Aaron said that he had a trainer for this movie but they were working out in the soft sand and doing things outside and not in a gym. Howard asked if he squats and benches. Aaron said he doesn't do that. Howard asked if he does pull-ups. Aaron laughed. Howard said he benches 95 pounds but he does 10 reps.
Howard said Aaron was an outsider growing up. He was moved to England when he was a kid and he was an American kid. Aaron said it was tough over there. Howard said Frankenstein was an outsider too. Aaron said that he is an outsider but he has a soul and a kindness inside. He said that his father wants him destroyed and he doesn't do it. Howard said that this can be an analogy to real life. Aaron said if you look at abused children on YouTube you can see just how chilling it is when kids have this rage toward their parents.
Howard said Aaron grew up in England and his parents put him in a situation where he was an outsider. Howard asked if he won over people with is looks. Aaron said he had friends but he never felt right. Howard asked if he feels like an outsider in Hollywood now. Aaron said he does. Howard said he has friends in the business though. He said the only one he's outside of is Daniel Day Lewis. Aaron said that's just his perception. He said that he feels like he has a lot to prove.
Howard said Aaron is too good looking to get married. He said the party never ends for him. Howard said if he gets married he will fuck it all up and cheat. Aaron said he's 45 and he's never been married. He said he had a relationship that lasted 3 years but they were never together for more than 3 days at a time. He said it's tough.
Howard asked if he was single during the filming of Frankenstein. Aaron said he was. He said he's single now. He said he's never had an on set romance either. He said he doesn't go out to dinner or anything when he's working. Robin said he sounds like he works like Howard. Howard said there's no room for a child when you work like that. Aaron said that he does think about that. Howard said he has chosen that path. Aaron said he still has some seed in him. Howard said maybe he'll say that he has enough if this movie does well and the next couple do well. Aaron said that he's not sure how that will work.
Howard asked if he wears a rubber. Aaron told him to take it easy. He said he abstains completely. Howard asked if he cums inside a woman or not. Aaron said he can't say. He said he does the right thing. Howard said he pulls out. Howard said he thinks he's waiting for an accident to happen. Aaron said it wouldn't be the worst thing. Howard said he'd be tied to that woman for the rest of his life. Aaron told him to take it easy there.
Gary came in and said that Aaron has to go. Howard asked where he's going. Gary said he's going to a morning TV show. Howard said he was just getting into it. He said the man doesn't wear a rubber. He said he has to ask him one more thing. He asked about working with Katherine Zeta Jones and how the husband got jealous. Howard said he read about it. Aaron said he's never met the man. Howard said it must be awkward. Aaron said that it's irrational because he's a professional actor. He said that's not on him. Howard said he wouldn't let him within 10 feet of his wife with those abs. Aaron said he knows what he's talking about because there are some actors out there who are like wolves.
Howard said he can't wait to see this movie. He asked when it opens. Aaron said that it opens on the 24th of this month. Howard asked if he has seen this one. Aaron said he hasn't. He said he never watches his own movies. Gary came in and told him he has to go again. Howard wrapped up and let him go a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Jonah Hill is there. Robin said he's so good in the Wolf of Wall Street. Howard said today is acting day. He said that this is such a good song they're playing here. He said he loves Dave Grohl. Jonah said he loves Dave's personality too. He said that documentary ''Sound City'' was great.
Howard said things are crazy for Jonah right now. Howard said he was thinking about him and how he could have been the guy in only comedies like Seth Rogen. He said he took a chance and got out of all of that. Jonah said that he didn't have it calculated like they make it seem. He said when Superbad came out he figured he could be stuck doing that genre of movies. He said he could have gotten stuck in that but he knew people would get sick of that. He said it wasn't going to get any better. Howard said Sean Penn did that Spicoli character and it was great. He said he was disappointed when he saw him doing other things. Jonah said he wasn't calculated with all of this but he did move on to do other things. He said he wanted to be better at things. He said he did the movie Cyrus with John C. Riley and he was playing a different character in that. Then he got Moneyball and then the Wolf of Wall Street. He said that he didn't want to look back 30 years from now and wish he had done things differently.
Robin asked if it's intimidating to work with these people he's working with. Jonah said that it is. He said he was used to working with Seth Rogen. Jonah said he spent his late teens and 20s on the set of movies. He said he learned a lot doing that. Howard asked if he feels he missed out on going to acting class. Jonah said he did that. He said he took two semesters. Howard asked if he regrets not spending more time in a formal school. Jonah said he doesn't regret that. He said a lot of friends went to college and he was doing stupid stuff that ended up in the newspaper while his friends were in school.
Howard said he has talked to Jonah about his before. He knew Dustin Hoffman when he was a kid and he made phony phone calls with him. Howard said he didn't know what the calls were but he found out he did impressions of Tobey Maguire's agent and people like that. He would call up and see what he could get for free. Jonah said he would call hotels and see what they'd let famous people do to stay there. Howard said he once called a hotel and asked for a tank for a baby seal and they agreed to do that. Jonah said they did agree to do it and get 30,000 gallon tanks for the seal.
Jonah said he does prank phone calls as his character when he's on the set of a movie. He said he was in character for The Wolf of Wall Street and he would make the calls in character to get used to doing the accent and having those big fake teeth in his mouth. Howard told Jonah that Aaron Eckhart was telling them about what he did by going into a group of parents that just lost their kids and telling a story about losing his kid as the character from his movie. Jonah said he'd be very uncomfortable doing that. He said when he prank calls someone it's different.
Howard said he would feel a lot of pressure doing the prank calls in front of Dustin Hoffman. Howard said you think that he's expecting you to be funny. Howard said that he must think that he has to be funny. Howard said he'd be afraid of disappointing him. Jonah said it was with the whole family though. He said it wasn't just Dustin.
Howard said he thinks about Jonah and he heard he was offered any part in Hangover. Jonah said that he did Cyrus instead. Howard said he must have thought that it was more in the vein of Superbad and he didn't want to do that. Jonah said Todd Phillips is a great director and filmmaker. He said that he figured they'd say that it was like Superbad in Vegas. He said he loves Todd's films but Cyrus came along and he wanted to play that part instead. Howard asked if his agent tried to push him into doing Hangover. Jonah said that he didn't. Howard said that the whole thing could have gone horribly wrong. Howard said that he could have had a franchise that could have sealed his deal. Jonah said he did joke around with his agent about that at times. He said he could have made any movie called Cyrus in the Valley for two bucks.
Howard said he must be getting tons of scripts now. He said he's up to two Oscar nominations. Jonah said he wasn't expecting this. He said that he doesn't think he'll even win. He said he wasn't expecting the nomination. He said his mom called him and told him about the nomination.
Howard said he read about Jonah being out and having something funny happen. Jonah said he was out to dinner with friends and they were at a table with some people they don't know. He said this big guy came up to him and said he wanted to take a picture with him. He said he didn't want to do that but he'd sign anything for him. He said he thought it would be very awkward to do that. Jonah said the guy said that he just came from his dad's funeral the day before. Jonah said he felt so bad for the guy and the guy was being really nice. He said he was going to take a picture. Howard said if a date saw that going on then you'd get instant sex. Jonah said that it was a friend's sister though so it wasn't like that. Jonah said the guy snapped and said he didn't want to take a picture. Then the guy said he was a mother fucker and he could take him out if he wanted to. Jonah said that this poor girl he was with was freaking out. Jonah said he talked the guy down and said he would take a photo and he didn't have to kill him over that. Jonah said it was a trippy experience. He said the guy said he could kill him if he wanted and he's sure he could have. Howard asked if he'll take pictures when he's not out like that. Jonah said he will. He said this was just in a tiny place and he didn't want to make it awkward.
Howard said he heard that Jonah called his mom to come and stay on set with him to cheer him up. Jonah said that the set was really depressing. He said he and his mom used to butt heads when he was growing up but now they get along really well. He said that they both loved to be the center of attention. He said they would bicker like an old married couple. He said his dad would just let them do their thing. He said that his mom is the best. He said now they get along really well. He said he was out in the middle of the woods making a movie about kids dying and he felt weak. He said he hit his mom up and asked her to spend time with him. He said they got to spend like 2 months together. Howard asked if that hurts the movie. Jonah said he was still filled with despair so he was okay.
Howard said winning the Oscar is huge. He said that there's a whole thing that goes along with that. Howard asked who else is nominated. Robin had the list. Robin read the list and Howard asked if Jonah voted for himself. Jonah said he totally did. Howard said he hasn't seen all of those movies but he thought that Jonah was more a part of his movie than Jared Leto was in his. Robin said Bradley Cooper was also nominated. Howard said he thinks that he's a good guy. Jonah said he is and he texted him as soon as the nominations came out.
Jonah said that he got to sit next to Martin Scorsese for the whole movie. He said that was great. He said Scorsese didn't know who he was until Moneyball came out. Howard said that he must thank god for that movie.
Howard asked Jonah if he had problems with James Franco on the set of ''This is the End.'' Jonah said that he's the best. He said he didn't have a problem at all. He said Danny McBride just bought a house across the street from him too. He said he just had him over the other night to watch a movie.
Howard asked Jonah about The Wolf of Wall Street and about getting punched in the face by Jon Bernthal's character. Jonah said that Scorsese thought it looked like shit when they faked it. He said Martin asked him if he wanted to get hit for real and he thought about it for a moment. He said Leonardo looked away like he didn't want to be involved. Jonah said he just wanted to do it. Howard asked if Bernthal fully connected. Jonah said he did connect and his fake teeth split in half. He said he hasn't been punched like that since high school. He said it's not that bad at first. It's a day or two later that it hurts and aches.
Howard said he heard he did the punch and they had to do another one before he was swelling up. Jonah said that is the take they used. He said that the whole take had a fucked up energy to it because they both knew they were going to do that punch for real. Jonah said that the set was awesome because it was so macho.
Howard asked if DiCaprio got a nomination too. Jonah said he did. He said he's glad he did. He said that he wanted to make sure his friends got nominations. Howard asked how it feels to get nominated. Jonah said he had been nominated for things before. He said he didn't get nominated for SAG so he figured nothing was going to happen. He said he was sleeping and his phone ended up exploding when he got the nomination.
Howard said he thought he wasn't going to do another comedy movie like 21 Jump Street. Jonah said they just made 22 Jump Street so he did go back. He said he likes being able to do all of that. Howard asked if they turned down Jennifer Lawrence for 21 Jump Street. Jonah said he doesn't remember if they did. He said that if they did they didn't have it down to just one or two people. Jonah said he has auditioned for a ton of things and didn't get it.
Howard said he thinks it's admirable that he turned down Hangover and Transformers all in one week. Jonah said that it can be terrifying to turn down things like that.
Howard asked who calls him when he gets the nomination for an Oscar. Jonah said that he got calls from people like Brad Grey and people like that. He said that Martin Scorsese worked really hard on that movie so he's happy for him too.
Howard said it's kind of a bummer when someone like Woody Allen doesn't show up to accept an award at the Golden Globes. Jonah said he does make some odd personal life decisions so it's not that surprising.
Howard asked Jonah about doing a roast and what hurt him most. Jonah said that it can be cathartic to have that kind of thing happen. He said that your best friends are saying things about you that they don't like. He said that it's not so bad when that stuff comes out. He said he went into it knowing what they were going to make fun of that night. He said he got tagged in Rolling Stone about something. He said he did one interview where he came off like a jerk and that was the Rolling Stone interview. He said he was going through a hard time in his personal life. He said he went into this interview at a restaurant and he really shouldn't have been doing it. He said he loves Seth and Evan and they were promoting ''This is the End.'' He said the interviewer didn't know his name and he treated him unkind. He said he reacted and felt threatened. He said he acted out and now he knows never to let his personal life affect how he talks about other people's work. Jonah said he learned from it. He said he is a kind and humble person. He said he doesn't remember what he said. He said he read it out loud for his therapist and never spoke about it again. Jonah said that he felt bad because people might think that he's not a nice person. He said he really is though.
Gary came in and said he has the line from Rolling Stone. He read it to Howard. He said something about why he got out of doing huge comedies because he wanted to have another life. Jonah said that it wasn't that bad but he acted like a fool that day. Gary said a lot of people rephrased it to make it sound like he was trying to move away from his comedy friends. Jonah said he just saw Seth and Evan the other night and they don't give a fuck. He said those guys are the best and they're making a film about Kim Jong Un and it's going to be the best. Howard said he can't wait to see that.
Howard said that the other thing that came out in the roast about him was his weight going up and down and how he had to change his suit every 3 hours. Jonah said he didn't mind all of that. He said that was funny stuff. He said that Jeff Ross had a joke about how he was asked if he wanted to do a spaghetti western and he said ''You had me at spaghetti.''
Howard asked what's going on with Jonah and the ladies. Jonah laughed and said he almost got out of there. Howard said he heard he was dating Dustin Hoffman's daughter for 9 months. Jonah said that was the last time he was in there. He said that he's still working with them and the Hoffman family is the best. He said they're the loveliest most wonderful people in the world. Howard asked if he can make some prank calls with them. Jonah said that he could do that at Howard's house. Howard said he'd prefer that. Jonah said he can do some with Sal and Richard.
Jonah said he was showing someone Howard's show the other day who didn't know the show that well. He said that every TV show hits an apex and goes down hill eventually. He said that never happens with Howard's show. He said they're doing the best work than they've ever done. He said to mature as artists is really unique. Howard said that means a lot to him. He said that is the best when he gets feedback like that. He said this is like his Academy Award. He said he knows he'll never get one for real.
Jonah said that he watched Private Parts to learn a lot for some of the roles he did. He said that he loved Paul Giamatti in that movie. Howard said he was amazing in that part. Howard said that they were actually doing something that actually occurred so it was even tougher.
Howard said Leonardo DiCaprio is a great actor. Jonah said he thinks that his performance in The Wolf of Wall Street is probably his best ever. Howard said he has to congratulate him on that movie too.
Howard said he read about Jonah having sex with a girlfriend of one of the Kardashian kids. Jonah said that stuff is all bullshit.
Howard asked what it was like working on The Wolf of Wall Street. Jonah said they did 18 hour days at some points. He said that things happen really fast on the set though. He said that Martin Scorsese is his favorite director of all time. Howard said he heard he offered to audition for the part. Jonah said he did. He said that they didn't know when but he was going to be meeting with better and more famous actors than him. Howard said he heard George Clooney was one. Jonah said he didn't know who any of the others were. Jonah said he was out promoting a movie at the same time Leonardo was. He said that he told Leonardo that he had to play this part and if they hired anyone else he was going to go out and kill them until they hired him. He said Leo took that to Martin and they let him audition. Howard asked where he went to do that for him. Jonah said it was there in New York. He said he did it for the casting director. Howard asked him what it sounds like. Jonah did a little bit of it and said that his parents are from Long Island so that helped him do the accent.
Jonah said he did the audition but they were still meeting with people. He said he won't say who the other people were but he knew who they were. Howard asked if he was insecure when he heard about that. Jonah said yes. He said he didn't think that person was better for the role than him. He said he was afraid that he was going to lose the part to that person. Jonah said that two months later he got the call from Leo telling him they were going to do this. He said he was shooting This is the End at the time and he went around screaming about what he just heard. He said they hired him for like the minimum amount of money they could give him. He said he got like 60 grand. He said that he was there for 6 months. He said he would sell his house and give him all his money to work for him. He said that he would have done anything to work with the guy. Howard said 60 grand isn't a lot of money in the acting world. Jonah said Leo may have made more than him. He said if he does Moneyball or the Jump Street movies he's fine.
Howard asked if he's getting close to having a family and kids. Jonah said he has a girlfriend. He said she's a great person. Howard asked if she's an actress. Jonah said he won't talk about her. Howard kept asking if she's an actress. Jonah said that he won't talk about her. Howard said he must want a life outside of the acting thing. Jonah said he just wants to be happy. Howard told him good luck trying to be happy.
Howard asked how you decide what Oscar party to go to. Jonah said he's just going to go to whatever party Leonardo goes to. Howard asked if he's ever been to one of his pussy parties. Jonah said he's never even heard of that type of party. Howard asked if he ever saw him naked. Jonah said he was in a sex scene with him but he didn't see him nude.
Howard said he meant to ask him about his penis. He said he'll do that and then let him go. Jonah said he has nothing to do today so he can stick around. He wanted to play a game. Howard said he will play a game with him. He said he'll see how he is with the Underdog game.
Howard asked about him whipping his cock out on the set of this movie. He said that he had a prosthetic cock and he used that. He said that the people on set didn't know he was going to do that. Jonah said it was in the script. Jonah said that he was doing this ridiculous thing and he had to ask the people to act seriously.
Howard asked if he can go around bad mouthing movies. Jonah jokingly said ''Fuck Frozen...'' Howard asked if he wants to say that he has to get the Oscar over Bradley Cooper. Jonah said he thinks that Michael Fassbender was great in his movie. Howard said he should spread a rumor that Bradley uses the N-word. Howard asked if he has a speech written. Jonah said he has one from the first time he got nominated and didn't get to use it. Jonah said he'll probably get one 20 years from now for some movie he does. He said he's honored to be nominated. Howard asked who he will thank in it. Jonah said he'll thank Eric the Actor and ''H.S.'' and people like that. Jonah said that he will actually thank his family and friends. He said he may wear the fake teeth that his character wore.
Robin said that Leonardo DiCaprio is like a big movie star now and what is his life like. Jonah said he's the guy who makes a movie star feel normal. Howard said he could never hang with him. He said he'd make him feel ugly. Jonah said that he's the best. He said he's just a great guy.
Howard asked if he has friends he can't bring around Leo because he'd be afraid of them embarrassing them. Jonah said that he doesn't have any friends like that. He said Seth is never nervous about himself so he's good.
Howard asked Jonah if he's in love. Jonah said he loves everybody. He said he is very happy and he can't believe he's there with them. He said he'd like to sit in one day in the Artie chair. Howard said he'll let him do that. He said he can just hang. Jonah said he listens to the show every day and it makes his day. Howard thanked him for saying that. Howard said he thinks Jonah deserves the Oscar. He said he's pulling for him. Howard said what people don't know is that Jonah is dying so he should win before he dies. Jonah fake coughed. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said they've had a star studded morning so far. Howard said he's very busy. He took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann said that Marianne Garvey had a couple of columns that had Howard in them this weekend. She mentioned that Beth is on some show tonight too. Mariann said that she wants to ask Howard about having his ''own universe'' in the Billboard interview and she wants to know what he meant by that. Howard said he's talking about the future of broadcasting and where they're going. He said he wasn't talking about himself but that is a possibility. He said it's like having your own religion. He said the technology that's coming out now is going to allow talent to be free. He said they wont need a distribution system.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Michael Douglas is supposed to play Ant Man in a movie. He said that Paul Rudd is supposed to play the younger Ant Man. Howard said he was supposed to play Ant Man. He said maybe he shouldn't talk about that. He said the Batman TV show was kind of goofy and that always disappointed him. He said he wanted it to be treated like an art form. He said the first Superman with Chris Reeve was what he was looking for. The caller asked if he liked the last Superman. Howard said he didn't mind the last Superman but he felt he had seen the story already. He said that they do the same origin story over and over again. He said he's not sure why they do that. He said it was well done though.
Howard said when they started making these movies he had been in touch with Stan Lee. He said he was going to have him write an original movie for him. He said that he was looking through the Marvel catalog and he wanted to take an obscure character and do something. He said he thought about doing Ant Man. Howard said a tall guy playing the part made sense to him. He said as a kid he wished he could be shorter. Howard said that character was appealing to him. He said he could talk to ants but he also had the power of ants. Howard said it was a way cool story and he could have done it. He said he's not sure what happened there. He said he just dropped it.
The caller said he has a Howard Stern Tattoo and he wonders if he can win tickets. Howard said this is the last week they're doing this. He said he's doing a quick Underdog game with him. He said it's just about impossible to get it right. Howard said he's going to hang up on him if he gets it wrong. Howard said he'll do it himself.
Howard said he'll give him a sample. He said they asked her this question. He played the audio of Shuli asking what animal Underdog Lady would say her personality is like. Howard gave him 3 choices and said one of them is the answer. The caller guessed she said she's a red tail fox. Howard said this doesn't count but here's the answer. He played the clip and Underdog Lady said a cat because they're independent but also very fierce.
Howard said this isn't going to be easy. He said this is no cake walk. Howard said he's just going to do this. He played the next one and Shuli asked Underdog if she could only have one food for the rest of her life, what would she choose? Hot dogs, chicken or milk were the possible answers. Howard tried to help the caller and had Fred giving his thoughts on the answer. Howard said the caller, Steve, has to lock in on an answer. Steve said that he's going to go with the hot dog. Howard locked him in and played Underdog's answer. Underdog said she would pick milk because everybody needs milk. Howard hung up on Steve when he asked for another shot.
Howard said that was a tough contest. Howard said they asked her what kind of candy she would be. Howard said that doesn't make sense.
Howard said they asked her what her favorite month of the year is. Howard wondered who would have an answer for that. Fred said December. He was wrong. It was August because her birthday is that month. Howard said he likes that month too because it's hot there.
Howard gave up and threw away the questions. Robin said she had to know the candy she would be. Howard said he'll play that. Underdog picked a Three Musketeers or Milky Way.
Howard said he was named the most fuckable man in America by Bachelor Uncut. Howard said that everyone on the street is talking about it. He played some audio of Sal and Richard asking women on the street about the story. One woman said it was all about money. Another woman said she would slit her wrists before sleeping with him. They asked one gay man if he was into that. He said Howard is near the bottom of his list. Howard said he obviously hasn't seen the picture of him on the cover of Billboard. Howard played another clip of a woman saying that Howard is the least f'able man. Howard said he's not sure what the Uncut Bachelor even means. He wondered if that means he's not circumcised. Howard said it has to be a popular web site. He said look at the amount of excitement it's causing.
Howard played a couple more clips where people walked away from Sal and Richard when they were trying to ask questions about the story. Howard said one woman did agree with the story. That woman said she agrees and she digs Howard. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break, around 9:35am, Howard came right back and had Robin get to her news. Robin read a story about how half the men in America are arrested at some point in their lives. Howard said he would freak out if he was arrested for anything. Howard wondered what they're up to. Robin read more details about the story and how they came up with the numbers. Robin said she never would have imagined it could be that high.
Robin read about a survey they found that says people without children are more happy than people who have procreated. Howard said they also say that women who don't have children are unhappy. Robin said living with the children is the hard part. Robin said they found that childless couples are more happy than parents are. Howard said it's less stress. Robin said they also say that women with kids are more happy about their own lives but not with their relationships. Howard said that's some choice you have there. Have a kid and be miserable in the relationship and have a happy wife or don't have kids and have a good relationship and an unhappy wife.
Robin read a story about the son of Jerry Sandusky, Matt, and how he's participating in a documentary about his father's case. Robin said the film is being screened at the Sundance Film Festival this weekend.
Robin read about how there's altar insurance available now. Robin said that you can take this out just in case the marriage doesn't happen. Howard said it does happen sometimes. Robin said they say that they offer policies that could help people in case of a change of heart. Howard said if there's a chance of that happening then don't get married.
Robin read a story about how they're looking to do away with the ban on cell phone use on planes. Robin said the FCC is taking public comments now on that. Howard said that could lead to a nightmare where people are talking on their phones the whole flight. Gary said his friend has a cell phone zapper that he uses to cut people off. He said it cuts phones off within 15 feet. He said it's illegal but it works to shut people up. Gary said people just scream into their ear mounted microphone. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Super Bowl match up being set. Howard said he thinks Seattle is in. Robin said they are. Howard said he saw a guy on there who was interviewed by Erin Andrews. He said that he liked his excitement. Howard said he was on fire. His name is Richard Sherman. Howard played the clip and Sherman was saying he's the best in the game and then said ''Don't you ever talk about me!'' He was talking about some player who was talking about him. Howard said the guy is fired up about his job. Howard said he's unloading and unstressing. Howard played another clip of a press conference where Sherman was apologizing to Erin Andrews and talking about the guy who he was talking about. Howard said he likes the whole thing. He said it shows passion for the game and that's the way it should be. Howard said he'd be jumping up and down and probably shit on the field if he got a touchdown. Howard said he'd start tweeting and then jerk off on the football.
Robin read a story about a fan that could pay up to $1 million for a seat at the Super Bowl. Robin said there are some asking $500,000 for suites there. Robin also mentioned that it will be the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl. Howard said he knows Denver is going to win and he knows nothing about the game. He said he has no rationale for that at all. Howard asked Gary if there's any truth to what he's saying. Gary didn't answer. Howard went into another live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if Howard took a moment to think about what yesterday's holiday was about. Howard said he was very busy and he did not. Howard said he had too much to do. He said he was preparing for the show. Howard said that Juan Pablo made an anti-gay comment about having a gay bachelor. Howard said he thought it would be a bad example for kids. Howard said if you look at the show you see girls being demeaned and making out in hot tubs. He said that's not so good for kids to see. Howard said for a guy to get on that show is a one in a million shot. Howard said you'd think the guy would keep his mouth shut. Howard said you'd think Madonna would know better than to use the N-word too. He said he thinks she's just dumb. He said that's a sign of not being that bright. He said it's just dumb and there is no excuse for that.
Robin said she took a moment to reflect on what this man Martin Luther King did. Howard said he reflects on what he did every other day of the year. Howard said he wonders what he would think about seeing President Obama as president. Howard said he thinks he'd die again of a heart attack if they were able to wake him from the dead. Howard said he'd wonder if Alan Funt was still alive and he was being Punk'd. Howard said he would love to see his reaction.
Robin read a story about the owner of a cannabis club being thankful for President Obama's comments about marijuana. Robin had a clip of this woman talking about that. Robin and Howard spent some time talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Beetlejuice who wished him a happy birthday. Howard told Beet that Jonah Hill and Aaron Eckhart sent their love to him. Beet said he just saw them last week. Howard asked if he's getting any pussy. Beet laughed and said he has a couple of times. Howard asked if he was at Michelle Obama's 50th birthday party. Beet said he was there last week. Robin said he gets around. Beet laughed and said he does get around. Howard asked if he's coming to the birthday show. Beet said he has to call someone to get him up there. Howard thanked him for calling in. Beet said he has a friend who wants to throw him a birthday party. Howard said he'll see him at the party. He let him go a short time later. Gary said Beet is invited to the party but he's not sure he can get there.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about snorting or smoking Smarties candies isn't a good idea. Robin said it's a growing problem in Rhode Island. Robin said it can cause infections. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how it's not a good idea. Robin said they say you can have nasal maggot infestations or lung infections.
Robin read a story about how people with guns in their homes are twice as likely to be killed or kill themselves. Howard said they got a lot of press after Harvey Weinstein was there talking about his anti-gun movie. Howard said it was all over the news. He said they had Ted Nugent on FOX News saying he was disappointed in him for not arguing with Harvey. Howard said it wasn't about him. He said that Ted thinks that he should inject what he's about in every interview. Howard said he is a proud gun owner but he's not in agreement with the NRA. He said he thinks there does need to be more rules on the books. Howard said when you go to drive a car you have to be licensed. He said that you have to be tested and there are regulations. He said the NRA doesn't advocate any of that for gun owners. Howard said he's all for a waiting period. He said they have this stop and frisk thing and if you don't have a license for a gun then you can do a year in jail. He said he's not anti-gun but he's rational. He said you should be checked out and they need the waiting period. Howard said they don't need an impulse buy. He wondered why anyone would be against that.
Howard said Ted Nugent did that thing where he called Harvey ''Harvey Wine-Stine.'' Howard said he thinks that he's doing something there that he's had happen to him. He said he thinks that it's an attempt to humiliate the guy. Howard said it's like an exaggerated way of saying his name. Robin said they should come up with something better than that. Howard said he's sure he could but not on TV. Howard said he couldn't believe the amount of press that story got.
Robin read more of the story about men and women being more likely to commit suicide if they have a gun.
Robin read about this Governor Chris Christie thing that's going on now. Robin said it's growing instead of going away. Robin said there are people saying that aid for hurricane Sandy wasn't released when people asked for it. Robin said there are some people who are saying they were being forced to do things to get aid for Sandy. Robin said more and more of this is coming out. Robin said that Chris Christie is being sworn in for his second term today too. Robin said that Carl Lewis is now saying that Christie kept him from running for office there in the state too.
Robin read about another mass of polar air moving into the United States. Robin said that New York and Boston are supposed to get quite a bit of snow. Howard said he hates winter. He said it's a curse on them. He said he's not sure why he puts up with it.
Robin read a story about a woman who tried to perform an exorcism and ended up stabbing her child. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that.
Robin read a story about a teacher that had molestation accusations against her posted on YouTube. Robin had some audio from a 9-1-1 call but it wasn't the right clip.
Howard played a clip of Richard's dad talking about eating rabbit they caught this winter. Howard said he can't wait for the update on that story. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon and Gary also talked about Aaron Eckhart and how serious an actor he is. They talked about him going to the parent meeting and telling his fake story about his child dying. Gary said he also talked about his brother acting and how he's not that thrilled with that.
Gary said Jason came to him and said he was loving the interview but he was pointing out that it's not ''Frankenstein'' it's Frankenstein's monster. Gary said that was the doctor's name and not the monster's name. Benjy said the monster was supposed to be his son so he could have taken on the name. Jon said maybe they merged them in the movie.
Jon said that Aaron was talking about how Sean Penn has been an influence on him. Gary said he missed that part. Gary said Sean Penn looks miserable doing anything. He said he can't believe that he played Spicoli. He said the more he's seen of him the less he'd want to hang out with him.
Jon said that Aaron was also talking about how he got sexually excited on set. Jason came in saying that everyone is referring to the monster as Frankenstein. He said the monster had a name but it wasn't Frankenstein. He said that it's just a nit picky thing. Jason said he thinks that Aaron zeroed in on what the book is about. He said he was abandoned by his creator. Jason said that the most powerful thing in the book is when he catches up to the doctor and confronts him about what he did to him.
Steve Brandano came in and said that his name is Adam Frankenstein in the movie so everyone is cool and they're all good.
Gary wondered how many Frankenstein movies there have been. He remembered a few and talked about them with the guys. Jon said that Robin was talking about how he's the good looking Frankenstein but Aaron was wondering who says what he's supposed to look like.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thought Aaron was a dick for going to that grief counseling thing. He said Aaron didn't apologize for doing it. Gary said he's not sure he could defend it at all.
Jon said he just remembered a Frankenstein movie and that was Sal's ''Bringing Back Boris.'' Jason said he'd be shocked to come back today and see Aaron playing his part. Jon went to break a short time later.
Sal said this kid is born an orphan and he's shunned. He said he likes the old Boris Karloff movies. He said he wants to bring back the original monster so he digs up Boris' bones and he reconstructs Boris completely. He said physically he's the same person but not the same actor. He said he sets out this monster to kill the children that bullied him.
Jon said that was way too long of a pitch. He said that he got confused about him not being the actor. Sal said he brings back Karloff's body but not the brain. Sal said that this is the original Boris in a modern day movie.
Gary said he didn't remember the plot and he thinks it's actually not bad. He said it's incomplete but there is something there. Sal said he left some stuff out of the pitch. He said he doesn't want to spoil it.
Sal said he loved those old movies. He said he liked when they brought them all into the Abbot and Costello movie. He said that was one of the greatest movies ever. Gary said that would never happen these days.
Jon said they had Jonah Hill in today and he was talking about how he did the movie ''The Wolf of Wall Street'' for just 60,000. He said the most telling part was the Rolling Stone story. Gary said he knew what he was going to say was going to be interesting. He said Jonah and Howard talked about the roast thing too and that was interesting.
Gary said he brought Jonah back to meet everyone and he actually asked to meet Jon Leiberman. He said he brought him in to meet him as well.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Sal some trivia about the old Frankenstein movies. Sal got it right. Jon took another call from a guy who said Jonah Hill is right about the level of the show and how they've grown over the years. He said that they've made it a phenomenal show today. He thanked them for that. Gary said it's great to hear that. He said they're making an effort to do the best show they can and people are noticing.
Jon and Gary talked about Jonah turning down the Hangover movies and doing other things. Gary said that could have turned out a lot worse. He said Howard could have been making fun of him today if he hadn't gone on to have success doing serious movies.
Jon wondered if Jonah wants to win the Oscar. Everyone thought that he would like to win. Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks he does. Ronnie said of course he does. Gary said it looks like Jonah is on the right track to be nominated for more. He said you never know if he will get more though. Ronnie said he was amazing in The Wolf of Wall Street. Gary said that when they saw the movie they knew that kind of guy that Jonah was playing. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary asked if he should stay in the city or go home. Ronnie said he's not sure how bad it's going to snow. He said they're saying 6-12 inches. Jon said he's going to stay in the city. Ronnie said he's not staying. Gary said they're supposed to get 3-6 inches up north. Ronnie said he's not worried about it. He said he's just going home and not worrying about it. He said he'll be there to pick up Howard tomorrow. He said he'll probably leave an hour earlier to pick him up.
Ronnie said that he went to pick Howard up once when it was snowing and Howard made him turn around. He said that the highways weren't plowed so they turned around. He said it was 3:30 in the morning and the roads weren't plowed. Ronnie said the limo he has now is all wheel drive so he's not worried about it now.
Gary said he went to work one day when he had to host Best Of. He said he got on the highway at 4:30 and at 5 in the morning they shut the highway down. He said the snow was up to his hips by the time he got to work.
Jon Leiberman came in so Jon asked him about meeting Jonah Hill. Leiberman said he was a nice guy. He said it sounds like he listens to Howard 100 and 101 all the time when he's not doing anything else. Gary said Jonah said he doesn't know what he's going to do if the show goes away. Gary said he really has to get him on Super Fan Roundtable.
Benjy said Jonah told him that his character Cyrus was based on him. Gary said he totally got him. Benjy said he has connections to Lisa G too. He said it's like his mother is Lisa G's sister or something like that. Ronnie said he thinks that she's a friend or something.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's pissed that they gave tickets to Bobo. Gary said that everyone has someone they're focusing on that they're pissed off about. Gary said there's a reason these people are there. Gary said he had a bad weekend because he has to say no to people he likes. Benjy said he's offering to jerk off a well hung black guy or a white guy, with his feet, to get a plus one for Elisa. Gary said he's not going to get another ticket. Benjy said he's desperate.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't get why people are so upset with Bobo getting tickets. Gary said they do a lot to Bobo on the show and he takes it. He said he provides a lot of content for the show. The caller asked why the Wrap Up Show doesn't have tickets to give away. Gary said they just don't have a lot.
Gary said a lot of people are asking why they aren't doing this show at Madison Square garden. Gary said they wanted it to be intimate. He said they just didn't want to do it in a big venue like that. Jon said it would be a different show if they did it there. Gary said this is first and foremost a radio show. Gary said once you throw it into the Garden you're doing a show for the 20,000 people there. Jon said the show will be live that Friday night.
Jon took a call from a guy who goofed on Ronnie about his answers about snow. Jon asked if Ronnie is angry at the snow. Ronnie said he's really angry at the snow. The caller said he thinks Ronnie has issues with snow. Ronnie said that he got buried in snow and thought he was going to die. He said he was like 10. He said they made him into a snow man and it froze so he got stuck. He said he's scared of the snow because of that.
Jon had Jon Leiberman give his news rundown. Leiberman ran through a few stories about what they have coming up today. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about Rob Zombie and the opening theme song ''The Great American Nightmare.'' Howard took a call right after that. The caller said he saw Beth on TV last night. Howard said he woke up and watched that this morning when he got up. Howard said he gave her a big A plus for the appearance. The caller said that she was saying that Howard has a big penis. Howard had a clip of her talking about that. In the clip Beth was talking about hanging out with Robin a lot off the air. She also said that they don't talk about work when he comes home. The host was wondering who Howard doesn't like at work and Beth said they don't talk about that stuff. Then she said that Howard's penis is rather large when she was asked if it's true it's very small. Beth said that it's large. She said he's been lying all these years unless she's been with really small guys before.
Howard said Andy Cohen is saying that 6 inches is small. He said he's read many articles about the size of a penis and the average is less than 6 inches. Howard said the amount of people from 7-8 inches is only like 1 percent of the world. The caller said they say in China it's only like 3 inches. Howard said he's moving to China so he can be like Johnny Watt Holmes there. Howard said six inches is above average according to what he's read. Howard said Beth is saying that he's large and maybe the other guys she's been with are smaller. Howard said he's not sure who Andy is going to bed with. He said it must be porn stars.
The caller said Beth was kind of promoting smoking. Howard said that's ridiculous. Howard said the guy was smoking an E-cigarette. He said he's not even going there.
Robin said she was searching for average penis size and the term ''Average side penis for a 14 year old'' popped up. She wondered who is searching for that. Howard said she's going to end up getting arrested for that. Robin said they say that the average penis length is 5.5 inches to 6 inches. Howard said that's what he's saying. He said a guy 7 or 8 inches is very rare from what he read.
Howard said that it is true that it looks bigger since he lost weight. Howard said he doesn't have the fatty tissue down there anymore. Howard said he doesn't have that fatty mound down there.
Howard said if you can't be at the party SiriusXM is going to be broadcast to the entire world for free. He said they're going to let people listen all day for free. Howard said they have a red carpet event starting at 4 that day. Howard said they will let you click on and it's just one arrow button and you're in. He said you don't have to register or anything like that. He said you'll just be able to hear the broadcast for free.
Howard said they're going to be doing a live blog on the web site too. He said that they have gone through some effort to make all of this happen. He said they're going to have video and pictures too. He said this is his gift to the world.
Howard said that he got an email from someone very famous who will be siting in the audience and he asked for two more tickets. Howard said the guy asked for him to help since Gary wasn't able to give him more. Howard said Gary isn't lying. They don't have anymore tickets. Howard said that this guy said he doesn't want to leave his friends out. Howard said he can't do anything about it. He said Benjy was trying to get his girl in and he can't help there either.
Benjy tried to say something but Howard said he didn't want to get into it. Howard said he can't even get some of the guys from the show into the show. Howard said he just doesn't have the tickets. Benjy kept trying to say something but Howard said he really doesn't want to get into it. Howard kept his microphone off. Howard said he knows he's going to go down a road he doesn't want to go down. Howard told him to talk to Gary about it off the air. Howard told him to deal with Gary instead of him. He said he has no control over tickets. Howard said he has family that won't be coming to the show.
Howard said he doesn't want to get into it with Benjy. Robin said she wants to know what it is. Howard said he's upset. Howard said life isn't fair. Benjy kept trying to say something but Howard left that microphone off.
Howard said he was talking to a young college kid he met and the kid was saying that he didn't like going to work because it was boring. Howard welcomed him to the real fucking world. Howard said that they're lucky they have jobs that are halfway decent. He said no one wants to go to work. Howard said there's no birth right that says everything should be fun. He said that work is boring and horrible. Howard said that you could be watching porn at home but you have to go to work to make a living and contribute. Howard said you could sit at home and collect SSI. Howard said he trudges out and goes to work.
Robin said that people are on top and doing the right thing and they get wrapped up in these things. Howard said they get involved in chicken shit stuff. Howard said Christie had hired a Muslim to a position and the tea party people got all upset. Howard said Christie is also for some gun control and they get upset with him about that too. Howard said all of this stuff is put out there by his enemies. Howard said he evaluates actual accomplishments. Howard said he hopes this stuff goes away. He said the guy has a shot of winning the White House. Howard said he's good. He said they don't have a lot of normal candidates that could reach across the aisle. Howard said if republicans are smart they'd get behind this guy if he didn't have any involvement in the bridge thing. Howard said he's not a fan of that action. He said that's a major flaw.
Howard said when he ran for governor he was running against tolls. Howard said traffic is his number one issue. He said he doesn't take that lightly.
Robin said she doesn't know the cast member's name but there was a woman playing Justin Bieber and she was so good. Howard said he doesn't know her name but he knows who she's talking about. Howard said he has to watch that.
Howard said that kid Justin Bieber is such a pussy. He said throwing eggs at a house is so lame. Howard said you can't just spot paint. He said you have to paint the whole thing. Howard said his dad's house got egged and he had to get up on a ladder and paint the house. He said it's such an awful thing.
Howard said the woman on SNL who played Bieber was Kate McKinnon. He said the kid is going wild and he's trying to do the whole fucking thing of being a bad ass. Howard said he just isn't a bad ass. He said he egged a house and it's such a pussy move. Howard said he has his street cred now that he's egged a house. Howard said now he can bend over so a guy can fuck him in the ass.
Howard said that the cereal Froot Loops are the same flavor. He said he had no idea. Howard said Sal sent him this piece of information. Howard said that's some con job. He said he hopes it ruins them. Howard said it's the worst cereal ever. He said he likes Shredded Wheat. Howard said he wasn't into the sweet stuff. Howard said he liked Frosted Flakes and Sugar Pops too. He said he tried Trix but he didn't like it. Howard said he nudged his mother until she bought it. He said he hated it. Howard said she made him eat the whole box.
Gary said he loves Cheerios but they're changing it. He said he loves it. He said he just has that with skim milk. Howard said that's a lot of empty calories. Howard said there's a lot of talk about Gary's eating there. He said he's been eating the cookies from Crumbs on Wednesday.
Gary said the Cheerios are changing because they're not using genetically changed corn. He said they're going to stop using something they've been using and he hopes they don't change the flavor. Robin said that they didn't have that in the beginning when he started eating Cheerios. Gary said he'd be upset if they change the taste of what he's eating now.
Howard said he had steamed salmon last night with some steamed broccoli. He said he had ''sauce on side'' with that too from Chun Le. Howard said it's fucking awesome. Gary said he must have huge pieces of fish. Howard said he loves it.
Howard said that the original Cheerios don't use GMOs. Gary said he has the article that says they're taking them out. Gary said that they're only changing the Original Cheerios. Howard said that Gary will be fine with the change.
Howard asked what his point is. Hanzi said unless you're associated with someone... Howard cut him off and said that people like him are trying to figure out life but they have no idea. He said that no one came looking for him and no one gave him a thing. Hanzi said that's bull. Howard told him to cut it out with the conspiracy theory. Howard said he grew up in Roosevelt and there is no Illuminati. Howard said he's out of his fucking mind. Howard said he put in so much hard work to get where he is. He said it's the same for any guy who has a job. Howard said Hanzi doesn't know about it because he doesn't have a job.
Hanzi said that there are plenty of people who speak out about this stuff and they disappear. Howard said when you work you don't have time for conspiracy theories. Howard said Hanzi sits home smoking weed and thinking too much about this stuff. Howard said he really has to get out of this conversation. Hanzi asked why he cuts him off when he's making a valid point.
Hanzi told Howard he spoke to his mom about the notarized note. Howard said he has one week to put this together. Hanzi said he shouldn't have to go through this shit to get there. Howard said he has to come there with his mother. Howard said if she can't come then he wants the notarized note. Howard said she's the only one who can evaluate his condition. Hanzi said he has been there before and he doesn't need a note. Howard said that was a big mistake. He said he was fine back then in 2008. Howard said his mother isn't going to let him come because she doesn't think he's capable.
Howard said he doesn't want to be legally or morally responsible for him. Howard said he doesn't want to have any worries about Hanzi at his birthday party. Hanzi said anyone who has seen him in person knows he's fine. Howard asked who he can ask. Hanzi said that he can ask Ronnie or Shuli. Howard said he's not sure Shuli should be there. He said he may need a note too.
Ronnie came in and said that Hanzi is nuts on the phone. He asked how they can have him there. Hanzi said Ronnie is an asshole. Ronnie said he needs someone there with him. He said he can get someone stable to come with him. Howard said he can come in strapped to a board like Hannibal Lechter. Howard said he trusts that his mother knows enough to sign that paper. Ronnie said that Hanzi won't go to her because she'll say no.
Hanzi said he went to his mother but he doesn't have a note. Howard said that's his point. Ronnie said he has to get that note. Hanzi said Ronnie is a piece of shit. He said he hopes he gets AIDS. Hanzi said he had a show on Howard 101 but they canceled the show and played JD's Playlist instead. Howard said he really has to go.
Gary said all of the people he's trying to get to be his ally he's bad mouthing. Hanzi said that's better than going fucking nuts. Howard said he has to go. Hanzi gave Howard a big ''fuck you'' and Howard hung up. He played him out with the Imran Khan song parody and then went to break.
Robin said the winter Olympics in Russia it's 65 degrees. Howard said it's ridiculous. Howard said it's like 10 there. Howard said Scott the Engineer had snow on his head and he felt like a young man again looking like he had hair.
Howard said Ronnie was talking about how he was stuck in snow as a kid. He said he got frozen in the snow and got trapped. Howard wondered how that happened. He said he didn't hear the whole story. Howard said today's show is going to be good. He said they're going to start the JD Dating Game in a few minutes. He said that he's going to bring a date to the birthday bash. Howard said one of these ladies will win and they all claim to be into JD. Howard said they all claim to be into JD and the want to be his date.
Howard said they got the girls down there by telling them that it was John Stamos. Howard said he's kidding and they really are into JD and want to get into the show. Howard said he's hoping beyond all hope that they all speak no English. Howard said they're going to have to pay attention to what JD says.
Howard said Kevin Nealon will be stopping by today. He said he thinks he's a really funny guy. Howard said he thinks they didn't use him enough on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he will come in and make everyone laugh. Robin said he always makes her laugh. Howard said if you can make Robin laugh then you're alright with him.
Howard said they went out on the street and asked people to say a prayer for OJ Simpson since they say he has brain cancer. Howard said he figured people would say ''fuck you'' to him but they were saying prayers. Howard played some of the clips and the people were all saying they hope he gets better. Howard said they live in a country where people forgive. Howard said he doesn't forgive for big ticket items like murder. Howard said you can call him a dick but he's not into that.
Howard asked how great that Imran Khan song parody is. Robin said she was humming it to herself. Howard said he loves the song. Howard wasn't sure what the original song was. Howard said Psych pout that song together. He said he doesn't know it. Fred said he'll try to find it in the system. It's to the tune of Fountain of Wayne's ''Stacy's Mom.''
Howard said the big birthday bash is going to have a lot of stars there. He said that Lena Dunham is coming. He said Steven Tyler, John Fogerty and many others will be performing. Howard said there are at least 4 musicians who he hasn't mentioned. Gary said there are at least 3. Howard said there are at least 9 or 10 musical performances. Howard said there are some comedians who will be singing. He said one number will blow Robin's head off. Howard said it's going to be quite a night. Howard said he feels a scratchiness coming on with his voice. Robin said she's glad her cold was last week. She said she'll be fine for the show. Howard said he has to take a break and get to the JD game.
Howard came back and said he likes the Imran Khan song parody better than the original. Howard said he feels so sexy in his Tommy John underwear. He said he really likes them. Howard said he ordered a dozen underwear. Howard said they sent them to him there at the station. He said they feel sexy. Howard said they're silky smooth. He said he got nervous about them not being natural fibers. Howard said someone wrote him an email about what a pussy he is for paying attention to his mom like that. Howard said he's 60 and still controlled by his mom.
Howard said he has 4 very attractive women there. Howard said they all made it there. He said they were thinking only 3 would make it in. Howard said he can't figure JD out for the life of him. He said he feels like JD is looking for a stripper or something. He said he shouldn't even say that. He said that one of them is actually a stripper. She said she's actually working to earn her PhD. Howard said that he's known other women who did that but they stuck with stripping because they make more money.
Howard asked one of the other girls what she does. She's in the Air Force. One of the girls works at a camera store doing photo restorations and photography. Howard said all of these girls should be JD's dream. Howard said he doesn't know what he's looking for. Howard asked the stripper what she's trying to get her PhD in. She said it's neuropsychology.
Howard said all of these girls are vying to be JD's date to the birthday bash. Howard said they have to pay attention to JD at the party. He said they have to talk into the microphone so they can understand what they're saying unlike JD.
Howard had JD come in and introduced him to Sarah. Howard said she's Bachelorette number 1. Howard said that JD could win a date with one of these women. Howard said he has Juan Pablo beat. JD said he loves gay people. Howard introduced Natalia next. JD said hello to her and then to Megan. JD seemed to like her voice. Howard then introduced Heather to JD. Howard said they're all very accomplished girls. Howard asked if JD is going to take notes. JD said he will take some notes. He said he has a few questions for them. He said he came prepared. Howard said JD has a cold so he has to stay away from him. He said he should be wearing a surgical mask.
Howard said that Sarah says she's a fan of the show and she claims to like JD. She said JD is funky. She said he's not full of shit and putting on an act. Howard said Sarah doesn't have a boyfriend right now. She said she had one at the end of July. She said he broke up with her. Howard asked what's wrong with her that he broke up. She said he's a fire fighter and he had stress so he must have figured it was best to break up. Howard asked if he was like JD. She said he was not. She said that a day after saying he wanted to spend his life with her he broke up with her. JD said he will not lead a woman on like that. Howard said Sarah has a beautiful body. She said her breasts are real. Howard said they look big to him. She said that she's a full B. Howard said he likes that. JD said that he's okay with that. Howard asked Sarah what part of her body is the most sensitive. She said her lower back is. JD was making noises during her answers that were kind of odd. Howard said Sarah is an opera singer. Howard had her sing a little bit for JD. Howard had her stop because Opera makes him crazy. He said it sounds bad in there. JD said he's not a big opera guy. Sarah said she writes her own rock songs too. She said that she doesn't have a band but she plays here and there. She's a part time legal clerk and she has a second job as well.
Howard said JD must have a question for Sarah. Howard asked how old she is. She's 26 years old. JD wondered if he should ask all of the girls this question. Howard told him to just ask this one. JD asked what her favorite movie of all time is. She said she likes ''Amilee.'' JD seemed to like that.
Howard moved on to Natalia. She said she loves JD. Howard asked what she loves about him. Natalia said she likes how awkward he can be. She said he's her type. She said that's the type she goes for. Howard said that sounds crazy to him. Howard said that JD is so shy and she must get nervous that there won't be anything there between them. Natalia said she's a free spirit and she can bring something out. Howard asked about the free spirit thing. She said she's into girls too. Sarah said she is bi-sexual too but she's never tried it. She said she hasn't come out to her family. She said she met a girl in college she was into but she never did anything.
Natalia said she's into other women and she's done things. She said she's a go-go dancer. She said she does topless dancing and things like that. Howard asked if she gets paid in tips or salary. She said she gets tips and works another job. Robin asked when she had a boyfriend last. Natalia said it was about a year ago. She said she had a girlfriend about 8 months ago. Howard asked if she's going to bring girls home to JD if she dates him. She said she would if JD was into it. JD said he might be into that later on after getting to know her.
Howard asked JD if he had a question for Natalia. JD asked if she has a lot of tattoos. She said she has 4. She told him where they are. JD said he's not a big tattoo guy. Sarah said she has three as well. She said she has some on her back and butt.
Howard moved on to Megan with the sexy voice. JD said she's very sweet sounding. He said it's nothing abrasive. Howard asked how old she is. She said she just turned 30. Howard asked how old JD is. JD said he's 34.
Howard asked Natalia about this girl she was dating. She said that it was a friend with benefits kind of thing. She said they'd do things on the weekends.
Howard got back to Megan and said she's very sexy. Howard said she looks like she has a big chest. She said she knew he was going to ask. She said she has a bit of an enhancement. She said she graduated from boot camp and she looked like a boy. She said she lost her body fat and she didn't have anything going on. Howard asked what she weighs. She said she's 140 pounds. Howard said she's ripped though. Howard asked about the implants. She said they're a D-cup. Howard asked if she's happy about them. She said she is. Howard said JD wrote that down. Howard asked what it is about JD that she likes. She said she thought he was cute when she saw him on Fine Time and she likes his awkwardness too. Howard asked if she's ever had a famous guy hit on her. Megan said she has. She said it was an actor and she went out to have drinks with him. She said something turned her off though. She said he came on very strong and kept inviting her to his hot tub and things like that. She said that doesn't turn her on.
JD asked if it was Ryan Phillippe. She said it wasn't. She said she wouldn't go for Ryan anyway. She said she needs personality. Howard said JD has personality. Howard said the great thing is that he keeps you guessing. Howard said sometimes he'll just mumble and keep you guessing about what he said.
Howard said Megan is going to school for accounting. She lives in Ohio though. Howard said that would be a long distance relationship. Megan said she graduates in 3 months and she's looking to move. She said she doesn't want to stay in Ohio.
Howard said that Heather is up next. Howard said she's a fairly new fan. She said she's only been listening to the show for about a year. JD said she may not know a lot about him then. She said she would like to learn. Howard said he likes that. Howard said Heather is very attractive. He said she must not have a problem finding men. She said she does actually. She said she's a little picky. She said that she was with a guy for about 7 years and he didn't want to travel with her. JD said he's not a traveler either. Howard said maybe she could get him out of his shell. Howard said maybe JD needs to get out of the house a bit. JD said he hates the airports. He said they're depressing.
Howard said Sarah said she doesn't like travel. Howard said JD wrote that down. Howard got back to heather and asked if she's big chested. She said she has an average C-cup. They're real too. Howard said that's fabulous. Howard had JD ask her a question. JD asked her about what she gets compliments on about her body. She said she gets hair comments even though the color isn't natural.
Howard said JD has met them all so he had him ask some more questions. JD asked Sarah if he was asleep and she was his alarm clock, how would she wake him up. Sarah said she likes to do a certain thing in the morning so she'd put her hands on his chest and she'd move down and have sex with him. JD said he wrote that down.
Natalia said she would do the blow job thing. She said she'd do that when he was playing his video games too. Howard asked Megan what she would do. She said she'd use her lips on his neck and to his nipples. She said that guys love that. Heather said she would probably slap his back really hard and tell him to get the fuck up. She said she likes cuddling too so she'd do that.
Howard asked Sarah what offends her. Sarah said when people call her abrasive. Natalia said racism. Heather said when people call her boring. I missed what Megan said.
Howard asked the girls to make their best sex noise. Two of them opted not to do that because they had family listening.
Howard asked the girls if they were a spoon, what type of spoon would they be. Sarah said she didn't know. Natalia said she got him a spoon gift. Megan said she got JD a spoon too. Heather said she would be an 1800s copper spoon.
Howard said JD is rolling his eyes. JD said this whole spoon thing. Howard had JD ask a question. JD asked if they kiss on the first date. They all said yes.
Howard asked if the girls would have the baby if JD knocked them up. They all said no. JD asked if they have feelings for any ex-boyfriends. They all said no. JD said he just wanted to make sure. He said it's been a problem.
JD asked what their dream vacation would be. Sarah said she doesn't like to travel. She said she would like to see an opera in Italy. The other girls said they'd like to go on trips to places like Bora Bora or Africa.
Howard said JD must be turned on right now. JD said he's under the weather so that's kind of hard to do. Howard asked one of the girls to spell JD's last name. She was able to do that. She knew his full name and when he was born too. JD said someone Googled him. She said she absolutely did.
Howard said this is going to be a tough decision. Howard said JD will be working the night of the birthday show but the girls understand that. Howard asked if any of them regret coming down there. They said they did not.
Howard had JD take them into his thought process. Howard said they're all different in their own way. Howard said the one thing is that they find him attractive and delightful. JD said he didn't want to say no to anyone and disappoint anyone. The girls said they could all go. Robin said he has to choose one. Howard asked JD what he's thinking. Howard asked Fred what he's thinking. Fred said that he can't go wrong with any of them. Howard said Fred actually met his wife on the show. He said they've been in wedded bliss ever since. Fred laughed.
JD said that there was one that stood out more than the others. He said that the others didn't convince him to change his mind. He said this one stood out. Howard asked who it was. JD said he liked Megan's voice ever since he heard it. He said the traveling thing is the bad thing with Heather. He said he would just disappoint her because he won't leave his house. Howard said Sarah said she never leaves the house. JD said he knows. He said he felt Megan right away. Howard asked what she said that got him going. JD said she sounds sweet and honest and the whole bikini in Bora Bora thing got him going. He said Natalia was the second one. He said he's dealt with that craziness before and that scares him off a bit. Howard said he thought he'd go with her because of that.
Robin said that JD is picking a woman because of her voice. Howard asked if he told him that she used to be a man, would that be a problem. JD said he won't be going very far with her if that's the case. JD said he thought something like that was going to happen. Howard said this is all straight.
Howard said that JD has a bit of a cold so they may not want to touch him. Howard introduced the girls to JD one by one. JD didn't see any of them until now. Sarah said that she lives nearby. JD said he'll get their numbers later. Howard said he doesn't have that many options. Sarah said she would have gone out with him. She said he's a nice guy. Howard had her go to loser's row since she lost. JD said that she's in The Other Winners row.
Howard had Natalia come over to meet JD. JD met her and said she's very nice too. JD said she's very pretty. Natalia said that when he did the music Playlist Howard gave him a hard time about the Nine Inch Nails song he liked and she likes that too.
Howard had Heather come over to meet JD. Howard said she's adorable with her low cut top and red hair. Howard said she's a doll. JD said hi to her and Howard said he really screwed up. JD said he's not sure he did. Howard said they have other inarticulate men out in the hall for the girls.
Howard had Megan come over to meet JD next. Howard said her face and voice match very well. Howard said JD made a good choice there. Howard asked Will if he can tell if JD is going to be into her. Will said he thinks that he's already happy with his choice. Howard wondered if there will be chemistry. Robin said she hopes so. JD was yelling at her and saying he'd like to see how she picks men.
Megan went over and met JD and JD said he was very happy. He said he loves her eyes. Howard asked if he will marry her. JD said he doesn't know if he'll do that but you never know. Howard said Megan is going to be at the birthday show and she's going to have to wear something. She said she's going to wear a gown and have the hair on the side in curls. She said she's been thinking about this for a while now. Howard asked if she's feeling anything down below the waist. She said she has to have the one on one thing first. Howard said JD is ready to connect. Will said JD is looking at her like she's a pizza. Howard said this is going to be great. Howard told him to be a gentleman. JD said of course he will.
Howard said Megan looks a little like Katie Holmes. JD said she has better eyes. Howard said this could be it. JD said ''I guess...I dunno...'' Howard said he sees him getting married. Fred did his JD impression of him mumbling. Howard asked JD if he'll kiss her that night. JD said if he's healthy enough and she's into it then sure. He has a cold right now. JD said he's trying to get better. Howard asked Megan if he's her dream man. She said that she doesn't have one.
Howard said he hopes he's at the wedding when he marries her. JD asked if he would even go. Howard said only if it's at his house. Howard said the other girls are winners too. Howard said Megan will be at the birthday show. Howard said JD will be there to romance her. Howard and Fred did more of their impressions of JD mumbling and goofed on him for a short time. Howard said he doesn't mean to make fun of Megan's boyfriend but they're just having some fun.
Howard said that the girls may not want to present their spoons to JD now. Megan had a Cincinnati Reds spoon for him. Howard and Fred goofed on JD a little more. Howard said JD talks funny because he's always talking with a spoon in his mouth.
Howard congratulated JD on his pick. He said he thinks he has a winner. He said she's beautiful. Howard told him not to fuck this up. JD said he's not going to. Howard said she has a killer body and she serves in the military. Howard said he can't screw this up. Fred, as JD, said ''My cock is at attention... salute it.'' Howard said he can't screw this up. JD said he won't move too fast. Will said he can't move fast, look at him.
Howard said JD has to lose a few pounds. Megan said that she doesn't really like skinny guys. Howard said he could lose a few. Megan said she has to get him into shape. Howard told him not to screw this up. He told him to wipe his computer clean and not let her see what he's up to.
Howard said that JD made a good choice today. He said that's the first eon he's made. The other girls were upset that they lost. Sarah said that she doesn't eat fast food but she would sit with JD when he eats. She said she's fine with him eating that stuff. Howard said if Megan marries JD she's probably going to end up wanting to travel. Howard wrapped up and thanked everyone for participating. Howard said Kevin Nealon should be there next. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said Kevin Nealon was there. Howard had the guys bring Kevin in. He said he's doing some dates at Caroline's there in New York City. Howard said he did a stand up special too. Howard said it's been a couple of years since they saw him. Kevin said he doesn't get excited to do interviews much but he's a fan of Howard's and he likes coming in there. He said it's just funny when he comes in. Howard said he gets that a lot from people. He said they laugh when they see him.
Howard said he thinks he saw Kevin on the Tonight Show. Kevin was on with Christina Applegate. Kevin said he's been doing this for 35 years now. He was on with Johnny Carson too. Howard asked if he got to sit on the couch. Kevin said he did. Howard asked if that's how he got SNL. Kevin said it's not. Howard asked about getting on the Tonight Show. Kevin said he had done some auditions for the Tonight Show but they wanted him to do the Mike Nesmith show. He said he wanted to do this game where they do a this or that type of game. Kevin told Howard some examples of what he would do. He said they told him that he ended up getting on the Tonight Show after telling them about the this or that thing that he was doing in his act.
Kevin said that he goes over his act in hie had constantly. He said he went out to do the Tonight Show and he was really nervous. He said he was played on and he had no idea what his act was as he was walking out. He said he got to the spot and then the applause dies down and he still doesn't remember his act. Then it finally comes to him. He said that was the best thing he had ever done in his career. He said he was out there with a dry mouth and people were laughing. Howard said it sounds like it was horrible. Kevin said he might be right. He said it was a challenge though so that's what made it so great. He said it validates you as a comic. He said Johnny came in and wished him luck before the show too.
Kevin said he went out and did his thing and then Johnny gave him the sign. He said the stage manager kept him around and then Johnny brought him out to the couch. He said that Johnny was laughing at the zingers he kept for the interview. He said that all of his friends were watching the show that night and they were all silent as they watched. Howard said there must be a lot of pressure. Howard said he feels that the whole time. Howard said that Chris Rock told him they went to see his movie to make fun of it but that's not what happened. He said they liked it.
Howard said Kevin was happy when Saturday Night Live ended. Howard asked if he thinks they utilized him the right way. Kevin said he thinks they did. He said they used him for the right things on the show. Howard said he didn't really do impressions. Kevin said he did the Hanz and Franz thing. Howard said that's the best sketch he did on that show. Kevin said Arnold liked those sketches. He said they heard that he wanted to be on the show and they wondered if he knew they were making fun of him. Kevin said Arnold came in and asked how he was supposed to do the accent. He said he got it. Kevin said that Arnold is confident even though he's in a stranger land. Howard said he was intimidated by the guy when he met him. He said he came in and said hello to his mother in law when he went to one of his movie screenings.
Howard said he was on the Charlie Rose show once and he went up to Arnold to say hi to him. He said Arnold was in the bathroom shitting and farting and they said hi to him anyway. He said he felt like such an asshole doing that. Howard asked Kevin if he got to hang with a lot of people on SNL. Kevin said that Walter Cronkite told him a blow job joke once in private. He said that he saw Woody Allen in the bathroom once and got to pee next to him. Howard said he got to stand next to Paul Simon at a urinal.
Kevin told Howard about getting to meet James Taylor on SNL. He said he loved Steve Martin too and met him there. Kevin said he knows Howard hates banjo playing. Kevin said he plays too. Howard said that's the least appealing thing that Steve does. Howard said he thinks Steve is great until he plays that banjo. Kevin said he thinks that Steve is getting back into comedy now. He said he still does a lot of comedy. Howard said he wants to tell Steve to keep that banjo playing at home.
Kevin got back to the James Taylor story and told Howard about how he was on SNL at the time and he asked him about playing guitar. He said he asked if he used that third finger to pick too. He said he got to talking and James asked to take him out to dinner one night. Kevin said he got his number and he was pacing around like he was calking a girl in high school. Kevin said he worked up the guts to call him and they set up a date to go out. Kevin said he went up to his apartment to pick him up and James had this little dog he was holding. He said they ended up going out to dinner and it was like going out with a girl for the first time. Kevin said at the end of the date they went up to the apartment and he was wondering if he should hug or kiss him. He said they got to the door and James said they should do this again. Kevin said he thinks he paid for the dinner. Howard said no one has ever paid for dinner for him.
Kevin said he can't remember if he saw him again after that. Howard said he probably didn't. Kevin said he actually saw him at his vineyard. He said James was recording an album and he wanted him to video tape it for him. He said that's what he did. He said he did that in exchange for dinner. He said it was great seeing James rehearsing. Howard said he'd love to see something like that.
Howard said that you don't do anything like that for a dude. Howard said you'd think he'd be doing that for a chick. Kevin said he's a great dude to hang out with. He said he's very easy to talk to. Howard said he went out to dinner with Steve Martin a couple of times. Howard said he brought Beth and Steve brought his girlfriend at the time. Howard said he felt like Steve was having the worst time in the world. He said Steve kept the conversation going and it was hard to relax in that situation.
Kevin told Howard about how he was body surfing next to Steve Martin on vacation once. He said they flew back to New York and Steve was waiting for his limo. He said Steve came over and told him that just because they hung out for a few days doesn't mean they're friends. Howard said he was kidding though, right. Kevin said he was.
Howard asked Kevin about shooting a movie with Adam Sandler in South Africa. Kevin asked Howard how far he's gone from home. Howard said he went to Cannes France once but that was it. Kevin told Howard about going to Africa and how you can go on a safari down there. Kevin said that they're not like the animals you see in the zoos there. He said that they're full sized animals. He said that they were in an open truck. He said that if you're one big object they won't attack you. He said if you stand up then they see you as an individual and they'll attack. Kevin said he was laying down in the back.
Howard asked if he met Mandela down there when he was there. Kevin said he did go to the prison he was kept in. Kevin said that they had prisoners giving the tour. He said he had a picture taken in front of Nelson's cell. He said he was all smiles at first but then he put on a frown. He said he didn't want to look too happy there. Howard said Kevin is up to so much. He said he's all over the place.
Howard said Kevin worked as a bartender at the Improv. He said that's a great move. He said he gets to see everyone work. Kevin said that if someone doesn't show up then you get to get some time on stage. Kevin said that he wasn't a good bartender though. He had never done the job before. He said he was bartending on the off nights. He said he got to see the best guys playing there. He got to see Andy Kaufman perform. He said he talked to him about Transcendental Meditation. He said he wasn't really listening because he was staring at the moles on his face. Howard asked if he was really funny or just super interesting. Kevin said he was interesting. Kevin said that he doesn't think that they had anything in common. He said he loved his stuff hough. Howard said Andy was huge at the time. Kevin said he was huge and he was doing so many odd things on SNL at the time. He said he would mess with the audience. Howard asked if it's comedy if it's not funny. Kevin said that's the question. Howard asked if it's brave to do something like that. Kevin said he likes that kind of misdirection thing. He said he was a fan of Albert Brooks too. Howard said he loves Kevin's stand up. He said he saw his special and that was really good.
Howard asked about some of the other people he saw at The Improv. Kevin said Robin Williams, Richard Lewis, Steve Martin, Albert Brooks and others were doing time there. He said Jay Leno would kill it there. Kevin said that David Letterman used to do comedy at the time too. He said that he knew everyone's act there from seeing them so much. He said he knew when they paused and all of that. He said you learn from that. He said you have to come up with your own style.
Howard asked who the greatest comic is of all time. Kevin said Howard is. He said Howard has good timing and a good delivery. He said that he should be lumped in with comics. Howard said he wouldn't know how to get up on stage and do something like that. He said this radio thing suits him. He said this works for him. Howard said he's been told that he's too sexy to be a comic too.
Kevin said Howard looks happy doing what he's doing. Howard laughed and said he's thrilled. Howard asked about some of the stuff they do on stage and if it's all planned out. Kevin said everything is planned out other than when you take a drink of water.
Howard asked if there were guys who should have made it but never did. Kevin said he thinks that's him. He said that he used to go to open mic nights and he loved that. He said there were comics that were supported and didn't have motivation to go out and work.
Howard asked Kevin if he's happy that Weeds is over. Kevin said he is. Howard said he needs a steady job. He said that would freak him out. Kevin said he looks forward to what's next. He said he's going to be in this new movie called ''Blended'' which is the Sandler movie. Howard gave Kevin some plugs for the upcoming Caroline's appearances. He had some other plugs as well.
Howard asked Kevin if he's putting together a new act since he has the special out now. Kevin said he's working on the material now. He said that not everyone sees the special. He said that a lot of people don't know what you're up to. He said he's been off SNL since 1995 and someone came up to him recently and asked if he's still on the show. He said they don't know.
Howard asked about the new girl on SNL. Howard and Kevin both found it kind of peculiar. Howard said that it's like reverse racism. Kevin said he wishes her well with the job. Howard said next thing you know they'll bring on an Asian or Hispanic person.
Howard said there is so much good TV on. Howard said he loves Homeland. He asked Kevin if he likes Justified. Kevin said he hasn't seen it. Kevin said that he watches a show with his wife called Downton Abby. Howard said he can't watch something like that. He said if it was Downtown Abby then maybe he'd watch. Howard said he watches Boardwalk Empire. Kevin said he does too. He said they should go on vacation together. Howard said he goes on vacation with Jimmy Kimmel. Kevin said he saw the pictures of Howard and Justin Theroux. Howard said that guy is funny and a good guy. Howard said he wrote Iron Man 2 and Tropic Thunder. Howard said he's going to be in a new HBO show too.
Howard asked if Kevin watches SNL. Kevin said he does DVR it and fast forwards through it like Howard does. Howard asked if he thinks Lorne knows when it's not funny. Kevin said he's sure he does.
Howard asked Kevin about crop dusting Jack Nicholson. Kevin said that's when you fart next to a guy and keep walking. He said he went over to meet the guy once. Howard said he met him too when he was with Jimmy Kimmel.
Kevin said he wants to go to lunch with Robin. He said he'd like to go to lunch with Howard too. Howard said he doesn't do lunch. Howard said that the show Banshee is really good too. Howard told Kevin what that show is about and told him it's really good.
Kevin said he told Matt Lauer that he wanted to go golfing with him once and later on he was walking out and asked if he was going to golf with him. Matt said no. Howard said he played golf with Jimmy and Justin but that didn't go so well. He said they all sucked. Howard said it's too hard.
Kevin told Howard about going to meet Jack Nicholson and asked if he had been to this country club he was at. He said Jack came back with ''Not since the last time you asked me that.'' He said he didn't know if he was joking or not because he had never met him before. Kevin said he went over to ask the same question at a party and Jack turned his back to talk to Al Pacino. He said that he had something bad to eat that day and he just farted all over Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino may have gotten some of it. He said that Jack was talking to Al and then all of a sudden he asked ''Jesus Christ, what died in here?'' Howard said he got back at him in a passive aggressive way. Kevin said he is the master of passive aggressive. He said he crop dusted Bush at the White House too.
Howard told Kevin about some of the stuff in his stand up that he likes. He went over some of the jokes he liked.
Kevin asked Howard which stand ups he likes. Howard said Jay Leno is one he thought was great. He liked Albert Brooks, Billy Crystal, Mitch Hedberg and others. Howard asked if Kevin liked Kinison. Kevin said he liked him as a novelty act. Howard said he thought the guy was brilliant. Kevin said he thought Pryor was brilliant. Kevin said that Tony Rock is really good. That's Chris Rock's brother. Robin said they had him on the show early on. Howard said it must suck for Chris to have that. Howard wondered if his brother likes having his brother in comedy like that. Howard said Aaron Eckhart was talking about how he hates having his brother as an actor. He thought it was great that he spoke so honestly about it.
Howard asked Kevin if he wasn't that moved about SNL. Kevin said it was a great experience. He said he doesn't think that was his shining moment. He said Weeds was closer to that. He said he's working on a show called The Pleaser now and that might be his shining moment. He said that Warner Brothers has it now and they're trying to sell it. Kevin said it's so difficult to sell a show. He said he wrote it and they took it around to the networks but they don't take it. He said they brought it in kind of late though so that might be part of it. Howard said it takes forever. Kevin said even if you write a great movie it takes forever.
Howard asked if he stays in touch with Mary Louise Parker. Kevin said he does. He said they don't hang out but they stay in touch.
Howard asked how Dana Carvey is doing. Kevin said he thinks he's doing fine. Howard said he must be worth a lot. Kevin said that he's doing really well and they should be seeing more of him soon. Howard said he thinks the guy is a big talent.
Howard said he thinks he'd be comfortable with Kevin on vacation. He said that he might ask him to be his videoographer.
Kevin asked what Howard's worst habit is. Howard said he picks his teeth. Robin said the worst thing is his thing with food. Robin said Howard has to eat when he eats. Howard said he was loose at Jennifer Aniston's house. Howard said he wanted to be Mr. Fun down there and that's what he was. Howard said they were very relaxed about when they ate down there. Howard said he was told they were eating at 7 one night and they didn't even come close to that time. Howard said he waited and waited. Then he jetted to bed right after dinner. Howard asked Kevin if he likes eating at 5. Kevin said he does. He said that he's in bed by 8 too.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel can cook. He said he can't stand laying in the sun so he goes into town and buys food to cook. He said Jimmy made his own Ricotta cheese and all of that. He said he wanted to cook all day. Howard said Jimmy didn't want to hang out on the beach. Kevin said Jimmy is a changed guy. He said he has custom suits now. Howard said Jimmy walks on a treadmill while he's working. He said two days a week he only eats 500 calories. Robin asked how he does that. Howard said that's what he does. He said he looks good and he's healthy.
Kevin said he's the same way. Howard said he would hang with Kevin. Robin asked if he likes The Bachelor. Kevin said he did but then said he's lying now. He said he used to watch American Idol. He asked Howard if he's doing America's Got Talent. Howard said he is and they changed the schedule for him. He said he only has to make one trip to L.A. now.
Howard asked Kevin what he thinks about Jay losing the Tonight Show. Kevin said times must be changing. Howard said they must not want people who get ratings having the show. Kevin is going to be on Fallon's show tonight. Howard said he thinks Fallon will make changes to the show when he takes over the Tonight Show. Howard said he read that Fallon and Letterman are feuding over guests. Howard said they're both going to be in New York. Howard said he loves Letterman but he doesn't like doing the show. He said Letterman put him on early on. He said he was nice to him.
Howard asked when he's doing Fallon. Kevin said it's tonight. He doesn't have anything planned yet. He said he has to go through his notes and figure out what to do. He said he's going to be talking about automatic paper towel dispensers. He said he doesn't like them because they don't give you enough paper towel. He wondered how they decide how much to give you.
Kevin and Howard talked about other paper towel dispensers and how they used to have a long cloth in bathrooms to wipe your hands on. Kevin said they did a sketch on SNL where he played a bathroom attendant in a really small bathroom. He told Howard about that and then Howard started to wrap up. Howard gave him some plugs for his stand-up gigs and all of that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he loved the Mr. Subliminal sketch he did on SNL. Kevin said he met a guy who did that for real. He told Howard how that went and how he worked it into that sketch. Howard thanked Kevin for coming in and Kevin thanked him for letting him come in. Kevin said he might come on AGT and do the paper towel bit. Howard said that would be great. He went to break a short time later.
Howard said the birthday bash is coming up next week. He said it will be broadcast to the entire world for free that night. He said they are going to have full coverage of the show with pictures and video too. He said this should be great. He said the pre-show starts at 4 and then the big bash starts at 6pm Eastern.
Robin asked how long the show will be. Howard said they want to keep it to 4 or 5 hours. Howard said he wants to keep it to 4 hours. He said that they have a lot of musical acts that have tight schedules. Howard said he has Letterman for just a short period of time. Howard said Jimmy is going to keep everything running on time. Howard said they have to stay on schedule to fit everyone in.
Howard said that he really likes Kevin Nealon. He said he could have talked to him forever. He said all good things must come to an end though.
Robin said that Robin is up for a NAACP award for her book. Robin said that is amazing. She said she is so honored. She said she's almost speechless about the whole thing. Howard played Robin into her news with a new intro about her being an award nominee. Howard said she may not be a new cast member on SNL but she is important. Howard played another song about her award nomination. Howard said that was Tony Daniels singing about her in that one.
Fred played Robin another song parody from Psych. Howard said he has a great game to play. He said they have to play it next week. He played a clip of Fred the Elephant Boy singing a song. It sounded kind of like he was singing Footloose. Howard said he thought that's what it was but it's not the answer. Howard played the clip of him singing along with the song and it was AC/DC Back in Black. Robin said that has to be wrong.
Howard said he has Sarah from the JD dating game sitting in. Howard said she can win a ticket if she gets this next song right. Howard played another one that Elephant Boy was singing. It was unintelligible. Howard played it for Sarah again. Howard said he says ''I feel like...'' in the song so that's a good clue. Sarah asked if Fred can help her. Howard said JD's date, Megan, is sitting in too. Howard asked what she thinks it is. She thought it was Guns N' Roses Paradise City. Fred thought it was Bruno Mars ''Locked out of Heaven.'' Howard played the clip again. Sarah asked what Benjy thinks. Howard said Benjy is still talking about Elisa over there. Benjy really was still on that. Megan went with the Bruno Mars song. Howard said she can't be an asshole if she doesn't win. She was right and it was Bruno Mars' song. Megan said this is the best day of her life. She thanked Fred for helping.
Howard said that she can't try to hone in on JD. Sarah said she has made a friend there so she won't try to get in on that. She said there is a romance blooming there. She said Megan and JD were talking out in the hallway. Megan said that JD is a sweetheart. She said that he didn't even ask to fuck her yet. She said he told her he's going to wait a couple of weeks at least.
Howard asked Robin what she has in the news. Robin said she has a story about Bruce Springsteen's son and asked Howard what he'd be doing if Bruce was his dad. Howard said he'd do something as far away as he could. Robin said he's going to be a fire fighter. Howard said Bruce must have done a good job raising the kid if he has good values like that.
Howard took a call from a woman who congratulated him on the interview with the Jonah Hill interview. She said it was all over the place. Howard said that made the news was the salary he made for The Wolf of Wall Street. Howard said that was a big story.
The caller, Lori, said she won the hottest fan contest in 2007 and she wondered if she can play for tickets. Howard asked how old she is now. She said she's 34. Howard said she's probably hot. Gary said they had one set left to give away.
Howard played the caller a clip of Elephant Boy singing a song and it started with ''Sleep with one eye open...'' Howard said that was pretty clear and he's not sure why they kept that one in there. The caller didn't know the song. It was Metallica's ''Enter Sandman.'' The caller went with Metallica and got it right. She won tickets.
Howard said they have to do away with Fred helping. He said he's getting them all right. Fred said he's won 3 tickets so far. Howard played another clip of Elephant Boy singing and they tried to figure out what it was. Robin got it. She said it was Ozzy's ''Iron Man.'' Robin was right. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about tipping people and how the skycaps at airports only make 4.40 an hour. Robin said that even with tips this guy in the story says he doesn't make more than $125 a week, take home. Robin said that this guy is trying to increase his wages.
Robin read a story about Silda Spitzer filed for divorce from Elliot Spitzer last week. Robin said it took a long time for her to do that. Howard said that doesn't make sense. Robin said she doesn't understand it at all.
Robin read a story about a man who allegedly stabbed his brother over a can of Pepsi. Robin said that they were watching a football game and the guy asked his brother not to drink the last one. When he did he allegedly hit his brother with a pipe and then stabbed him. Howard said that sounds like a great Super Bowl commercial.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Beth looked great on Bravo last night. Howard said she did look good and she did a great job. The caller asked why he goes so easy on Benjy when he berates callers but when Shuli berates someone in there he goes off on them. Howard said he had no idea what she was even saying because he's so tired. Howard said he takes some of that stuff off the air. Benjy asked to talk to Howard now for 30 seconds. Howard told him no. He told him to take it up with Gary. Howard said he doesn't want to deal with it. Howard said it's his birthday and he wants to enjoy it. Benjy said he's not talking about his birthday. Gary told Benjy to shut up now. He told Benjy to get out of the studio now. Gary told him to get up and get out now. Howard said this is irrational. Gary said he spoke to him off the air already. Howard said he doesn't want to talk about this on the air. He said he likes Elisa and he thinks she's terrific. Howard said he doesn't have to reveal what she's doing. Howard said if he wants to talk about the birthday show he has to do it off the air. Gary said he has already talked to him off the air. He said it's over and done with.
Howard said he doesn't want to talk about his girlfriend at all. Benjy said that he did already. Gary said he told Benjy not to discuss this at all. He said they're done with this. Gary told him not to bring it up again. He told him not to come to Wrap Up today either. The caller said she feels bad. She felt like she caused this.
Howard said he had to do a live commercial. He said Benjy just doesn't get it when he doesn't want to talk about something he's uncomfortable with.
Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey from the Daily News. She said that she wanted to mention a story they brought up today about Letterman and Fallon. She said that there is nothing personal going on between them. It's all about the guests they're going to have to battle over. Howard said he finds it very confusing. He said that he thinks that her article hit it right on the head. Howard said that he doesn't want to offend anyone. He said he loves Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel. He said he loves Fallon too.
Howard asked Robin what else there was in the news. He played her in with the NAACP award nomination intro. Robin read a story about how premium cable subscriptions are on the decline and Netflix may be to blame. Robin read the details of the study. Howard said that kids don't care about the networks. They just care about the programming. Robin said she never thought she would see the day when people didn't have cable subscriptions.
Robin read about a report done on smoking that found cigarettes are delivering more nicotine than ever. Robin said they say that each cigarette is giving 15 percent more nicotine than ever before. Robin said people are smoking fewer cigarettes because of that.
Robin asked if Howard likes jelly beans. Howard said no. He said he likes chocolate with nuts in it. Robin said Jelly Belly debuted two new flavors. They were draught beer and Tobasco flavored. Howard said that sounds disgusting.
Robin read about Ke$ha being in the news today. She had some of her song Timber that she had Howard play. Robin said Ke$ha had to go into rehab for an eating disorder. Robin said she's thanking friends and family for supporting her through her Twitter account. That led to Howard doing the top 5 songs. Howard said that Christina Aguilera is at number 5. Howard said that number 4 is Katy Perry and Juicy Jay, number 3 is Rihanna and at number 2 was One Republic. Number 1 was Ke$ha. Howard said he was very professional during that read. Howard said he doesn't have 50 engineers helping him out with that either.
Robin read a story about the band Against Me and a new album they have out. Robin said the lead singer came out as transgender. Robin said this is their first album since that lead singer came out. Robin had some of their music for Howard to play. Howard said he hates it no matter what gender he is. Howard said he can be whatever he wants. Howard liked one of the three songs he played. Howard said not many guys look good as a woman. Howard said that guy who became Toula looked good. Howard said that was the one guy who looked good as a woman. Robin said she thought Jared Leto looked good in that movie he was in. Howard said he didn't think so. Howard said he's trying to figure out what's going on with Bruce Jenner. He said he's growing his nails long now and some people think he's trying to become a woman.
Howard had John Bolaris on the phone and he says that there could be another storm next week when the birthday show is happening. Howard said that would be a disaster. John said people have to get in there early for the party. Howard thanked him for the horrible news. Robin asked how you get rid of snow. Howard said native Americans have a dance they can do. They call it a rain dance. Howard told Benjy to get on that and do something useful over there. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Mayor Rob Ford up in Toronto. Robin said that he vowed to stop drinking but now he's had to admit he was drinking with friends recently. Robin said he had a little bit to drink before going to a fast food restaurant where he made fun of the police chief. Howard said this guy will not change his lifestyle. Robin had some audio of Ford doing a Jamaican accent in the fast food restaurant. They had some audio of his brother defending him too. Howard said the guy says it was his own time so they can't give him a hard time about it.
Robin read a story about the governor of Virginia is in trouble for possibly obstructing justice. Robin had some audio of the governor talking about that. Robin said he accepted gifts and loans from someone.
Robin read a story about a woman who was injured in a parasailing incident and said she was talking about it on a TV show. Robin said that she remembers falling and then blacking out. Robin said that the family has filed a lawsuit against the company that was towing them. Their sails came unhooked from the boat and they crashed into a building. Howard said that's what happens. He said of course it can detach. Howard said these people trust these companies and you just can't. Howard said he won't even go on amusement park rides. He said the people who work there don't know what's going on. Robin said that's not fun. Howard said fun is sitting home for him.
Robin read a story about Richard Sherman and what went on at the football game last weekend. Howard said everyone in the NFL is whacked out of their head. Howard said you have to be crazy to play that game. He said it wasn't boring. Howard said the guy was worked up after playing. Robin read about some of the people supporting Sherman. Robin said Hank Aaron was on Twitter defending him.
Robin read about how Hong Kong is the best place to do business according to Bloomberg. Robin said that the United States ranks third behind Canada.
Robin read a story about some women that they're searching for in Sochi Russia who may be on the loose and may be terrorists. Howard said he'd never go there.
Robin read about how Warren Buffet and Quicken Loans are putting up a huge prize for anyone who can complete a perfect NBA bracket this spring.
Robin read about Adam Sandler being on Jay Leno's show last night pointing out his prominent feature. Robin had some audio of him goofing on Jay's big chin. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon went over some of the other things they were going to talk about and one of them was Benjy. Jon said Benjy will not be on the Wrap Up Show today. He said that Gary asked him not to come on. Jon said Benjy brought up Elisa more than once today and he wouldn't drop it. He said that he was being disrespectful to Howard and to Gary. Jon said that he has to respect it and now he's paying the price.
Jon said he could tell how upset Gary was today. He said Gary told Benjy no more than once. Gary said he doesn't like being angry. He said they had a great show today. He said he thought Kevin Nealon was great and funny. He said he doesn't need this drama in his life. He said it never should have come up on the air at all. Gary said Benjy wants what he wants and he won't listen. He said it's a closed case and he's getting to a spot where it's going to go in a circle. He said that he felt Benjy heard him this morning when he asked him not to bring it up and he did it anyway. He said Benjy was staring him straight in the eye and basically said fuck you and that he doesn't need him. Jon asked if he's spoken to Benjy since then. Gary said Benjy hasn't said a word.
Jon asked JD if it surprises him how Benjy keeps pushing for this. JD said not really. Gary said this is new because it's like a different personality trait where he's saying he's going to stand up for what's his and what he's entitled to. Jon said it really infuriates him. Gary said he wishes Howard would have let him take him out into the hall so he could talk to him. He said he wasn't going to yell at him. He said that he doesn't mind fighting but he doesn't like him shouting him down. He said if they just talk that's okay.
Jon had Megan and Sarah come over to the mic. Jon said they're both going to the birthday show. Jon said they got to see a fight in the studio in person. He asked what that was like. Megan said it was uncomfortable and she loved every second of it. She said she gets it but when a boss tells you to do something then you stop. Sarah said she saw Howard Stern History and she was sitting there for it. She said to see Gary blow up like that was crazy. Gary said it was so upsetting to him. He said it's a lack of respect and that bothers him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he ever feels like a parent. Gary said a lot of the time he does. He said he wasn't looking to put Benjy in his place. He said he had a conversation and he though they were done with that subject but they apparently weren't.
Jon took another call from a guy who said Benjy showed such a lack of respect. He said that Howard asks him to take care of things so he doesn't have to deal with them. He said Howard didn't back him up today when he asked Benjy to leave the studio. Gary said he thinks Howard just thought they didn't have to handle it that way. He said Howard was able to handle it his way. He said he doesn't think Howard was thrilled with the whole thing.
Jon asked JD about what Megan said that got him to like her. JD said it was the sound of her voice at first. He said that feeling was never overtaken by the other women's comments.
Jon asked Megan if she had a plan. She said she just wanted to come in and be herself. Sarah said she wanted to come in and sing and she got to do that. She said she didn't know that she was going to blow out everyone's ears with her singing. JD said that wasn't really part of his decision. Sarah said that she could have come in and played something. Gary said if he were her he would have done that and brought in a guitar and sang to him. JD said that would have been awkward.
Jon said they were both good contestants. Jon asked JD if he worked on the questions for a long time. JD said that one of them was from Kentucky Fried Movie. He said that was the one about the girl being an alarm clock. He said that Howard asked some of the questions he had too. JD said he came up with some questions on the train.
Jon said that JD wasn't able to see the girls while he was making his decision today. JD had to pick from behind a curtain.
Jon said the girls were talking to JD out in the hall. Megan said she didn't want to just show up and not know JD. She said she wanted to get to know him before hand. Jon said that JD always worries that he's not liked for being him. Jon asked JD how tough that is to displace that in his mind today. JD said that it depends on the situation. He said if he gets what he wants they can use him as much as they want.
Gary said they've already met Howard so that's out of the way. Gary said that she's either going to like him or not. Ronnie said she had better not break his heart. Ronnie said he knows girls. He said that he doesn't want them breaking his heart. Megan said she doesn't break hearts. She said she's very tender and sweet.
Gary asked who the heartbreaker is out of those two. Ronnie pointed to Megan. He said he hopes she won't but he's warning her not to break his heart. He said he was just joking around. Gary said he can see Megan looking at JD and trying to figure out the whole thing. She said she does observe a lot.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Artie or Jackie wanted to bring their spouse then they'd be allowed to. Gary said that Fred isn't bringing his wife and Artie and Jackie don't work there now. Jon said they'd all like to bring their significant others but they can't. He said they all have to accept it. He said his wife won't be there and he's accepted that. He said Benjy apparently can't. He said he understands the frustration but he has to move on.
Gary said that if an opportunity came up for him to bring his wife he isn't going to placate Benjy by saying he can bring his. Gary said if he can bring his wife he's going to bring her. Jon said Gary, Robin and Howard are in a different league. He said that Benjy is not in that tier. He said that Gary is entitled to that and he should be able to bring his wife. Gary said it angered him today when he thought about how he might upset Benjy if he brings her.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if the girls would have let JD spank them. Sarah said no. Megan said she loves spanking but not when she first meets someone.
Gary asked Megan if she's into girls or not. Megan said she has had fun kissing and touching but nothing crazy. She said she needs a man. Sarah said she's the one who has done bi-sexual stuff. She said she's sorry that her mom has to hear that. Sarah said she was really into a girl a while back and she asked her out but the other girl wasn't into it. Jon said they had to go to break after that.
Jon asked Ronnie if he was hit up for tickets. Ronnie said as soon as they announced it he was. He said he can't do anything. Jon said he wishes he could give everyone a ticket too. He said that the show will be live on the air and you can listen without even being a subscriber. Gary said it'll be free to anyone that day. He said they have other stuff happening from 4pm on. He said Jillian Barberie will be on the pre-show.
Jon took a call from Ralph who said they should tell Benjy's girlfriend she can listen for free that night. Ralph said that he thought the fight today was great. He said he's sure he heard that 9 million times. Ralph asked what he did when Gary told him to get out. Gary said he just waved his arm like ''Yeah, right.'' He said Howard could have been the same way but he was going to handle it in a better way. He said not yelling is always the better way. Ralph said Gary never snaps like that. He said he snapped today. Gary said he really did. He said he didn't even see Megan and Sarah sitting in there. He said he just saw red.
Ralph said he likes Benjy and he feels sorry for him. He said he seems to have a death wish so to speak. He said he pushes it with everything. He said Benjy knows that the wives can't all go but he has to dig his heels in and make it a thing. He said he's going to end up fucking himself out of a job.
Jon asked if he thinks Benjy is fueled by that. Ralph said it must be a mental problem. He said that he has had other issues in the past and he can't go to the Christmas party without causing a scene. He said there's just drama with him. He said he's becoming a pain in the ass and he's going to lose his job over it some day.
Gary said the day after the Christmas party he was talking to an A+ celebrity and he told him that he couldn't speak to him before because they had their party. He said the celebrity asked if Benjy wore his duck outfit. Gary said he loves knowing that people are into that drama.
Shuli said that Benjy came to the back room and talked to Lisa G to do something to help him get tickets. He said Lisa wasn't interested but Benjy won't take no for an answer. Shuli said he feels bad for Gary. He said it has to be a catch 22 for him. Jon said they had to take another break after that.
Jon said the other thing that Kevin said to Howard was asking if it was fair to lump him in with other comedians. Jon said he was glad to hear him say that. He said that Howard is a great comedian. Gary said Howard isn't really a comedian but he does have great timing and he is funny. He said Howard puts a 4 hour act on every day and throws it away like comedians do with their acts once a year or so.
Shuli said that Kevin's act is really funny and he's one of the best. Gary said he kind of forgot about Kevin until he saw him on Weeds. He said he was so good on that show. He said he had a new respect for him on that show. He said you see him on that and you want to see the specials.
Jon asked Lisa G to give her news preview. Lisa ran down a few things they had coming up today. Jon had everyone get in their plugs and then ended the show. They were done around 11:15am.