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Playboy Cyber Club
(Just about everything)
Howard started the show talking about the big day they had coming up. They're going to have the World's Strongest Naked Woman contest today. He said they're going to have women doing pull ups and push ups naked. He got in a plug for the sponsor of the contest. Howard said the women want cold, hard cash so they won't be playing for the mattress of the company that's sponsoring. Howard said they're going to hold the girls to some very strict rules.
Benjy was making noise in there so Howard asked if Benjy could make more noise. Benjy said he thinks a garbage can fell over.
Howard said they have the Andrea ''Miss Howard Stern'' dating contest coming up too. He said they're going to try and find a man for her to date. He said he's not sure if they have vetted the guys who are coming in or not. Howard said Evil Dave will also make his return to the show this week. He said his wife told him not to do the show anymore but he's going to sneak in and do the show while his wife is out of town. Howard said Octomom is also supposed to be on this week. He said he's going to impregnate her himself this time. He said they're going for child number 17. Howard said they have the Ultimate Superfan Trivia challenge coming up soon as well.
Howard said he hasn't sweat like that in his life. He said he lost 5 pounds working that party. He said those kids move so fast. He said it was hard to get them. Howard said he told people to leave him alone and let him work while he was there. He said he was the photographer and he wouldn't have been there if he wasn't doing that job.
Howard said Beth hates his hobbies and he was beating himself up so bad that Beth told him to just stop with the photography. Howard said this is more of a job than his job. He said he takes everything in his life equally seriously. Robin said it's not right to do that so seriously. She said that he should be doing it for the sheer joy of it and not put that pressure on yourself. Howard asked if he should be doing it for the family and take it very seriously. Robin said he should be doing it for fun. Howard said he wants to learn photography. She said he has two beautiful homes and she thinks that he should be spending time taking pictures in his study. Howard said that he wants to be under fire when he learns. He said he was going nuts and all of his knowledge about photography went out the window.
Howard said he's exhausted this morning. He said he doesn't want to carry his iPad around but that's what he's doing today. He said he would rather just bring his phone with him. He said the calendar is too small on the phone. He said he's obsessed with it and he wants to be able to do it. He said he has to be able to do it. Howard said that's how he spent his weekend.
Howard said he found a great app for keeping a to-do list. Howard said he used to write everything down on his calendar and he'd organize it at home. Howard said he puts anything he thinks of on the list. He said that's the list he has for the day. He said he goes home and organizes it. Robin said ''Eww.'' Howard said he wasn't able to figure it out electronically but he found this app called ToDo in the iTunes App Store.
Howard said he's just angry at everything. He said he's so agitated that he can't do everything perfectly. He said he's frustrated with this world.
Robin said she would like her HBO GO to work. Howard told her to watch it on TV. He said it'll work fine that way. Robin said she has tried to use it but she can't get it to work. Robin said she'd like it on her iPhone but it won't work. Howard told her to try it on the iPad. Robin said she wants it on the phone. Howard said he has a guy helping him every minute with his stuff.
Gary came in so Howard asked him if he can tell them when they're off in August with his phone calendar. Gary said he would go on Lotus Notes. Howard said he ants to know if he can do it with just the cell phone. Gary said he can't do that. Howard asked why he cant do that. Gary said he's not sure what to say to Howard. Howard said he wants to know why he can't tell him by looking at his phone. Gary can't look at his schedule.
Howard and Robin were going off on Gary for not being able to check his schedule but Gary pointed out that Robin can't even get HBO Go to work. Gary said he can wait 20 minutes to check his schedule to see if they're working. He said he doesn't need it in his phone. Howard said of course he should have them in his phone. Gary said he has his calendar in his phone but not the work schedule. Howard said that's his life! He was yelling at Gary about this stuff. He was asking how he can tell his wife when they're off if he doesn't have it in his phone. Howard was blown away that he didn't keep track of this stuff.
Gary said he can wait to get home to check the schedule if he's out on the road. He said he doesn't look at his phone while he's out. Gary said he keeps his personal appointments on his phone. Howard said his vacation schedule is personal. Gary said the only thing that's not in his phone is the vacation schedule there. He said he can check it on Lotus Notes fairly easily. Howard said he should know what it is all the time. Gary said it's not that important. He said he doesn't check it that often.
Howard asked why he won't write down that he's working and not working. Gary said he knows the schedule. He said he's the one who sets it every year. Gary said if it were debilitating him he'd be more pro active. Howard said Gary doesn't even know what it's doing to him. Howard couldn't believe what he was hearing. Robin was talking about it too and Gary said she has no idea what she's doing. Robin said she agrees. She doesn't even have a schedule.
Howard said he's been using this paper calendar for 10 years and he's about to get away from it. He said he's under tremendous pressure. Gary said it doesn't make you less of a person to be less than perfect at something. Howard said he wants to understand it all. Gary asked where the fun is in that. Howard said there is no fun in life. He said he wants to be an expert. Robin said an expert would want to take his time to learn. Howard wants to be an expert without preparation. Howard said he's 57 and he's running out of time.
Gary asked Howard if he sees himself with the photography forever or will there be an ending. Howard said he can see it being forever and you have to take it seriously. He said he had to stop with chess playing. He said he doesn't want to lose. Gary said he took it up and went nowhere for himself. Gary thinks he did great but in Howard's mind he's a failure. Howard said that's right.
Howard said the point he's making is that Gary carries around a calendar that's useless. Howard asked how he lives using yellow sticky notes as a to-do list. Gary said it works for him. He said that most of the to-do list is in his pocket too. Howard said he has to take a course. Howard said it works for him until he forgets something.
Howard said Gary just pulled pieces of paper out of his pocket. Howard said he can tell Gary everything he has to do for weeks with his phone calendar. Gary said that's great. He really didn't care. Gary asked what he's doing on December 21st. Howard said he can tell him. He checked his phone and the 21st is a Wednesday and they're off. Howard said Gary didn't know that. Gary said of course he did. They've been taking that week off for 20 years.
Gary said that HBO Go app that Robin was talking about is the best app ever. He said you can watch any show series in the history of HBO ever. He said he has it on his iPhone and iPad and he was watching it on both. He said you don't need Wi-Fi. Howard thought he had downloaded the movies from iTunes. Gary told Howard he was watching a movie on the iPad and then he had to get on the plane. He continued watching it streaming on the phone from the same spot he was watching it on the iPad. Howard didn't believe what Gary was telling him. Gary said he swears it was working.
Gary said the movie froze when he was on the Amtrak but in the airport it was running fine. Gary said that all of the content lives on HBO so it streams to your device. He said it's a very well run web site. Howard still couldn't believe this.
Robin said she can't get it. She said that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Gary said he'll check it out after the show.
Howard said there is gay marriage now so maybe he and Gary can marry. He said they're arguing like a married couple today.
Howard told Gary to listen to him. He told him to get the ToDo app. He told him to download it and use that instead of the scraps of paper. Gary said he'll try it out. Howard said he's walking around with scraps of paper in his pocket and that's not right.
Gary went through some of the notes he had in his pocket and he had already done some of the stuff on his scraps. Gary talked about going to see Ross' wife sing the other night. He said she was very good. Howard said he likes her a lot and she can sing.
Howard said he didn't learn anything from Gary today. He said he guesses that's it then. Robin said Gary isn't maintaining his system. He had paper in there that's done. Howard figured that he must leave that paper in there and it goes through the wash. Gary said he takes it out every night when he gets home. Gary said he doesn't want to be walking around with the iPad all the time. He said the stuff they do there goes so quickly that he can't keep up. Howard said he has to put them through the wash. Gary said that hasn't happened. Howard didn't believe it. He said Gary is a liar. Gary said he's not lying. He said that's not a nice thing to say.
Howard said Gary has to have lost some of those things in the wash. Gary said he hasn't forgotten it. He said sometimes he checks the list and sees that he has forgotten to call someone the next day. He said that's the worst thing that happens.
Robin asked Howard about his to do list and how he did it with the paper list. Howard said he would check it throughout the day. He said now he has it all on his computer and iPad. Howard said he has a lot of appointments today and one of them is doing the show. Howard said he'll check the to do list and he puts an alarm on the stuff he needs to know. He said he has to go to his psychiatrist and tell him some stuff so he has an alarm for that. Howard said Gary has to reach in his pocket. Gary said he has alarms too. He said it's not all in his pocket.
Howard told Gary about one of the things his calendar does. He said you have your personal stuff on one list and business stuff on another list. You can lay that stuff over the business stuff. Gary asked if he has the Lotus Notes calendar on his phone. Howard said he does. Gary said he won't say who told him he couldn't but he was told that he can't have it. Howard asked who he asked. Gary said he wouldn't say. Gary said it was Matt. Howard said it's on his phone. He showed that to Gary. Gary said he didn't know he could do that. Gary said he wants to have his personal and show calendar on his phone. Howard said he can do that.
Howard said he can't believe he has to tell his producer how to schedule. He said he has to send him to school for this.
Robin said she has to give some people some dates for something and she can't because she has to look at so many different things. Howard said when you're organized you have one place you go to. He said maybe Robin should keep a book. Robin said she wants to do it electronically. She doesn't want to carry the book. Howard said she needs a calendar and a piece of paper, electronically or not, that she can write things down on. Robin said she can use the notepad on her iPhone. Howard said that's like walking around with paper in your pocket. Robin said she could do it. Howard said he can't. He told her he has to talk to her off the air about all of this. He said she's not organized either.
Howard said he has to talk about it off the air. Robin said she could do all of this on her phone in that notepad.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that everyone is taking a piece of paper transferring it electronically. He said it's a waste of time. Howard said he's done talking about this. Howard said Gary is walking around with pieces of paper in his pocket and that's just not right.
Howard said there are maniacs like his director who run around saying that they don't believe in evolution and they believe in creation. Howard said that they're running around in bikinis on stage at these pageants.
Howard said there were a lot of nuts who wrote into the show about this. The caller said that Scott was saying that God created whatever it was that evolved into man. Howard said that's a new theory. He said that God made an amoeba and he set everything to evolve. DePace asked the caller if he believes in God. The caller said maybe. Scott said that it shouldn't be that hard to figure out then. Howard said they have to deal with facts in school and not some wacky thing like that. Howard said the problem is people who don't believe in evolution. Howard said they have to teach that in schools. He said they shouldn't be teaching that God crated it. Howard said they can't teach you make believe stories. Robin said there are churches for that. Howard said God is taught in church, not in school. Howard said that if they want to teach that stuff they should go to church. Howard said what Scott believes isn't far off from what Tom Cruise believes in with Scientology.
Howard said it's supposed to be separation of church and state. Howard said they should be teaching evolution in school and whatever else in church. Howard said evolution occurred and that's a fact. He said every person on earth should believe that. Howard said when people ask you what should be taught in school you should say ''evolution.'' He said that you can still believe in god. He said that it's a leap of faith to believe in that. He said it's not fact. It's a story. Howard said it's all embarrassing to him that they're discussing this.
Howard wondered how people don't know this stuff. He said there are people who make you want to bash their heads in the wall when they say they don't believe in evolution. He said you can believe in any god you want but the fact is that evolution happened. Howard said it's there in front of you and it can be proven.
Howard said he has to get out of this discussion. He said he has to bring in naked women. The caller asked if he has seen Green Lantern yet. Howard said he hasn't seen it but he wants to. Howard said he would love it if the movie company would send it to him to watch but he can't get a copy. They think that he's going to bootleg it. He said he takes it and deletes it or destroys it if he watches it. Howard said he signed on for too much time on this show. He said this is enough and he should do an hour like Oprah. He said she doesn't even show up to do a show. He said she's a genius.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he had a bad weekend being so upset today. Howard said he shot a 3 year old's birthday party this weekend. He's exhausted from that. Robin said he didn't even get paid to do that second job of his. Howard and Fred ended up doing their impressions of Scott talking about this God and evolution thing.
Howard said they might as well teach Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy in school. He said they just don't get it. Howard said they shouldn't be teaching this stuff in school. He said you go to church for that. Robins said that's what you do when you have a belief that you want to perpetuate that's separate from science. Howard said people are all against abortion and they're the same people who dump their pets off at the pound. He said that they have no homes. He said the people are the same way with babies. He said that they think everyone has a right to life but they get sick of them and they throw them away like they do with pets. Howard said they take no responsibility.
Robin read a story about a school in Harlem where it's just chaos. Robin said she can't imagine who is sending their kid to that school every day. Howard said his parents sent him to that school in Roosevelt. He knows. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said they were going to do the Strongest Naked Woman contest in a minute. He said he had Lisa G coming in first. Lisa came in with her news preview. Howard said he was talking about her date with Wayne Siegel all weekend. He said that Wayne listens to too many people. Howard said that Ross has got to stop ruining people's lives. Howard said he looks at it how it's going to affect him. Howard said you have to be strong when it comes to picking a woman.
Howard said he saw a picture of his wife in the NY Daily News this morning. Howard said there was a famous guy who came up to him and told him that Beth wasn't the end of the road for him. Robin said that was John Stamos, he's told this story. Howard told her to shush. Howard said he had another friend who didn't think she was the one either. He said he told him not to go out with her. Then Beth came into the gym and this guy was there. The guy told him that he had to see this hot chick that was there. Howard said the guy claims he never told him not to date her. Howard said guys do this to other guys all the time. He said the movie ''Marty'' is like that. He said it's a great old movie where guys talk him out of dating a chick. He said the guy realized that they were all just jealous of him. Howard said the guy was sitting home with his mother all the time and the friends were just jealous.
Howard said if you're a man you have to be strong and not listen to what your friends tell you. He said you have to know what's good for you.
Howard said Ross was complaining about someone he set up recently because it was going to be tough for him. Howard said Wayne would be lucky to get Lisa. He said she's a prize. Lisa said Wayne blew it before they even went out. Howard said Robin knows what he's talking about.
Lisa said they have a story about Whitney Cummings saying she'd like Howard to appear on her TV show. Howard said it's not going to happen. He said everyone has that dream. He said that he's asked to be on a sitcom at least 3 times a week. He said there are hardly any on TV anymore. He said that Whitney is a gorgeous girl and he'd ask her out on a date if he wasn't married. He said she's a catch. She has a brain in her head and she's gorgeous. Howard said Whitney told him about the plot for the show and he likes it but he won't appear on that show. He did a cameo on The Larry Sanders Show and that's it. He said you go on those sitcoms and don't know who the director is. He said they can do anything they want with you. He said he doesn't have anyone looking out for him so he's not going to let them chop it up to make him look bad. He said he'd end up in a depression for 3 years if it went wrong.
Howard said he would do it if he was allowed to have the final say in the episode airing. He said that they would never let that happen. They can't afford it.
Howard said he's also a film actor and not a TV actor. He said you have to be careful with what you pick to appear on. He said Zach Galifianakis called the one sitcom he was on a ''shitcom.''
Lisa said that David Arquette announced that he has nothing to do with Beacher's Madhouse anymore. He's also talking about starting his own place soon. Howard wondered what's going on with him. Robin said he must have had a falling out with Beacher. Howard said he must have but he has no idea what's going on. Howard said he thought David should be out working and acting. He said they do nothing but drink there at Beacher's and that's not good for David. Howard said that's the worst place to go if you're trying to be sober. Howard said anything with ''madhouse'' is something you avoid when you get out of rehab.
Howard said David needs to act. That's where he met Courteney. He said he shouldn't be bothering with Beacher's Madhouse. He said he has to throw out all of that nonsense. He said he'll give him the lecture when he comes in there next time. Howard said he has to avoid going to parties too. He said he saw him at a Paris Hilton party. He said David is going to get into trouble doing that. Howard said he loves that Paris Hilton TV show. He said you can learn everything there is about being a vomitus human being by watching that show. He said it's the same behavior in different settings. Robin didn't like it. Howard said the assistant is so childish too. He said that Paris is operating on the level of a 5 year old. Howard said it's like the Three Stooges. He said that Paris thinks she's smarter than other people and she's not. Howard said she's telling people that the other people are affecting her brand when she's the one who has been arrested for a DUI and has a sex tape out.
Howard said Paris should be out learning and doing things. Robin said that they just go out and drink. Howard said the assistant calls clubs all day finding out where they can go at night. Howard said it's the most vapid and empty life and he loves watching it. He said it's the best thing on TV right now.
Howard said she's psychotic and her life is psychotic and her friends are psychotic. Howard said people have to watch this show so it stays on the air.
Lisa asked how Teen Wolf is. Robin said she's given it a couple of episodes but she's still not sure if it's good. Robin said she also saw this show called Chloe King and it's very good. She said it's on the ABC Family channel. Howard said that sounds good to him.
Lisa said that they spoke to Jeff Davis who produces Teen Wolf and he said Howard isn't exactly the demographic for the show but he's happy that he's watching it. They think that the show is more for teen girls than a 57 year old man.
Lisa said that Chuck Zito is back to do a show on Howard 101 tonight. Howard said Chuck is so fucking manly that he can crush your skull with his pinkie and thumb. Howard said Chuck is everything he's not. Howard said he's very masculine and he fucks many women. Howard said he does what he wants to do. Howard thought about setting Lisa up with Chuck but Lisa said she's busy. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said after the break they have 3 naked, strong women coming in. They're going to compete in push ups and pull ups. Howard said the people at Sealy Mattresses are sponsoring this contest. They have $5,000 in cash for the winner. Howard said they'll do that after the break.
Stoya told Howard she does aerial acrobatics to stay in shape. Darenzia said she does ballet. Alexis has a personal trainer and she likes to have a lot of sex.
Howard said they are going to find out who the strongest is today and they have $5,000 for the winner thanks to Sealy mattresses. Howard asked how they're going to divvy up the money. Gary said the 5 grand goes to the winner and they have some prizes for the other girls too.
Howard asked Stoya about her life. He said he read that she's been in porn for 4 years. She's made about 35 movies. Howard asked if porn is still lucrative. He said it's not the same with the internet being the way it is with porn. Stoya said she looks at the movies as the production companies taking the hit and she can do feature dancing and sell Fleshlights and things like that. She said those things really sell. Howard said he didn't think anyone would beat off into one of those things but they apparently sell. Stoya said that men will come and see it and they'll poke at it and stick their finger in it. Then they want one.
Howard asked Stoya if the guys buy it because it's her. She said she's not sure. She said she may just have a good texture in her's. Howard said Stoya is very well spoken and he's not sure why she's not more famous. He said there are a lot of piggy girls in porn but Stoya is a step above. He seems to think that she could be a legitimate actress. Stoya said she just did an independent movie. She said that she has had fun doing the porn. She said she likes having sex and she likes doing it on film.
Howard asked if she goes home and showers after every movie. She said she had one guy who was a douche bag. She said that she wouldn't shower the day before so she'd smell so he'd put her on his no list. He said she would smell like vagina and arm pit on set. Howard asked if she would make a doody and smell like shit too. She said she didn't do that but she wishes that Howard had some suggestions back then. She said the guy didn't even notice the smell. She said that he just went with it.
Howard said Stoya is very hot. She's 25 years old. Howard said every 25 year old should look like that. Howard said he read that she was Marilyn Manson's girlfriend for 10 months. He asked if he can still make money doing shows. She said they were pretty full when she was going out with him about 2 years ago. Howard asked if it was a serious relationship. She just laughed. She said it was serious at the time.
Stoya told Howard that she's so busy that she doesn't have time for a guy now. She said she has a full schedule doing the porn thing. She said that it's not that easy. She said she loves going out and feeling productive every day. Howard asked if Marilyn buys great gifts like cars and stuff. She said she doesn't drive. She said she was home schooled and she never learned to drive. Stoya said she's really not that high maintenance so he didn't have to buy her that kind of stuff. She said that she was attracted to Marilyn's mind. She said that he does go around wearing make up all day. She said it's mostly eye liner. Howard said she's acting like it's nothing. Howard asked if he was good in bed. She said he was. Stoya said that he's not just average.
Stoya said that she can tell if he's going to be a better than average lay and he was good. Howard asked what it was that made him better than average. She said that guys are obsessed with size but it's really not that big of a deal for her. She said she doesn't want to be pounded for 2 hours either. She said that 17 minutes is a good amount of time. Howard said he'd last about a minute. Howard said that's like a year of pounding for him.
Howard said Stoya is very beautiful. He asked her who she's with and what she does. She said she's with Digital Playground and she's there to promote a book. She said that it's a book about confessions from people like her. She said that they did that for Lanie. She told Howard about the story she told for the book. It was about a double penetration thing that she did once. Howard said he wouldn't want to share her with another guy. Howard asked if she could feel the penises colliding internally. She said anal sex for her isn't all that great. She needs something with her vagina. She said butt sex is fun though.
Howard said he would be overwhelmed if he had both going on at the same time. Stoya said it is like sensory overload for her. Howard asked if she could lose control of her bowels. He figured she would shit doing that. She said you could but it didn't happen. She said that she did poop on her boyfriend's dick once. She said that he didn't care. Howard asked if she lubes her ass for that. She said that it was a combination of pussy juice and spit. Howard said he hates the spitting thing. He said he doesn't like that. She said it's the best lube though. Howard found out Stoya was in a babysitter porn so he got very interested. She told him what it was about and how the scene goes.
Howard moved on to Darenzia and asked why she gave herself that difficult name. She said it's a really lame story. Howard asked what the origin is. She said in high school she was obsessed with code and she won't say what it means. Howard found out she's a fetish model and she likes to do corsetry. Howard read about how she does domination with men where she gets paid by guys to do stuff for her. She has done things like having guys massage her feet for an hour for $500. Howard said it seems that man is devolving. She said she loves it that guys have such weird fetishes.
Howard asked Darnezia about the domination thing. Darnezia said that she was fucking one guy for a while and he told his wife to join in. The wife thought it was great. Howard asked when that happened. She said it was just last night. She said that they had met before. Darnezia said that they did a show together one other time. Howard asked where they met. She said she went to their apartment. Howard said he was watching True Blood while that was going on. Howard said he can't imagine what that must be like. Darnezia said that the wife was in a robe type of thing at home. Howard asked if she got dressed up for the date. She said she was wearing a boyish type of thing. She showed up and they had some wine and got into it. Howard said the wife must have been ready to go. Darnezia said she took over and she had them doing stuff. She said it was a little awkward but then it was okay. She said she eventually had a dick in her mouth and the wife was all over her and there was a lot of sucking of nipples. She said she was blowing the husband and the woman was licking her.
Howard asked if the guy uses a rubber. She said she does practice safe sex. She said the wife was a filthy little whore. She said that she basically put the guy's penis into her too. Darnezia said that she ate the wife's pussy while the husband was fucking her. Howard said she's a naughty girl. Howard asked if the wife asks her to stop fucking her husband alone. She said no. Howard said that's a lovely lady then.
Howard said that Darnezia used to fuck guys in clubs in the bathroom. Darnezia said that was way back when. She said she used to go to a club in the Meat Packing District and she'd wear some ridiculous outfit. Howard asked why Stoya was making faces. She said Will was making faces at her. Howard asked Will to stop because he's distracting her.
Howard said that Darnezia used to have guys dancing with her and she'd fuck them at these clubs. Howard asked how she would do that on the dance floor. She said it wasn't on the dance floor. She said they'd be in a corner doing it. She said you can't really be that way anymore though.
Howard said that Darnezia has turned down some good money to have sex with clients. She said she has but she can still make $100,000 a year doing what she does. Howard said she's very beautiful but he has to think about her name before he says it.
Howard gave the girls a plug for the book ''Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars: Intimate, Funny, Outrageous, Sexy, Instructional, and Shocking Tell-Alls from the Biggest Names in the Biz'' that they're featured in. He then moved on to Alexis.
Howard asked Alexis about what she's up to. She was a Miss Howard TV for a month a while ago. Now she's working for Digital Playground as a contract girl. Howard read about some of the things she's done and how she let a guy finger her at a strip club once. Howard said she had to stop him because she was afraid of getting fired. She told Howard that the guy slipped into her and he was an old fat guy. Howard asked if she was turned on. Alexis said she likes cream pies and she has a load in her now. She said her boyfriend banged her last night and this morning and she keeps the load in her. She said she likes to keep them in there. She said her boyfriend likes to fuck her after she showers. Howard asked Robin if she had a load in her now. Robin said she does not and she hasn't done that. Alexis said the load can drop out of her in the elevator or something. She can feel it coming out when she's standing there.
Howard said that Alexis is making 12 movies a year and she's taking Xanax and Vikodin to get turned on. Howard said it seems that she's not that into the sex and she has to do that to get worked up. She said that there are no women in the industry who don't have to take something. Stoya said she doesn't have to take anything. She said they can test her by taking her hair. Stoya said you shouldn't be in the industry if you have to take something.
Howard said that Alexis' first boyfriend was a 6'5'' black guy and her grandfather tried to burn him with the barbecue grill. She just laughed. Howard asked what that was like. Alexis said she was disowned by her father and grandfather for a year after they found out she's in porn. Howard said he read she needs a big cock inside of her. She said that she thinks penis size is important for her. Stoya was saying earlier that it's not important for her. Alexis said if you're not big then you need a vibrator or you have to be good at oral. She said she's not looking for super huge though.
Howard asked Alexis if she's going to beat the other girls. She said she's not sure about the pull ups. Howard said JD is going to hold his hand under the girls and their boobs are going to have to touch his hand to count.
Howard said the girls are going to have to do push ups wearing heels. He asked JD if he's going to get distracted. JD said he should be okay. Howard said they're going to try and win 5 grand today. The girls didn't have much to say. JD said he doesn't want any loads falling into his hand. Howard said he'd be lucky to have a load fall into his hand. Howard asked JD if he has a boner in there today. JD said he doesn't. They took a break before getting to the competition.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he whipped his dick out at a strip club and got kicked out. Howard asked the girls how to alert the girls that he wants to do that. The girls said it's all about the money. Howard told the caller it was the money. The caller said he waited for one of the uglier strippers too and that didn't work.
Howard said the guys must want to put more than a finger in there with Alexis. She said that you can't just pull it out on any stripper. Howard asked if he should let the girl pull it out. She said that is the way to do it. Alexis said that it's up to the girl.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if it's true that Marilyn Manson can suck his own dick. Stoya said she never did see him do that. She said everyone asks her about him and she's kind of tired of it. Howard asked who else she has fucked. She said that she wasn't going to play that game with him.
Howard asked if she had sex with Bob Barker. She didn't even know who that was. She told Howard to book him for the show and ask him.
Howard said it was time for the competition. He said a push up is going to be their chest hitting JD's hand. Stoya said that her A-cups were going to be a disadvantage there. Howard said he agrees. JD said he'll go by feel. He said that he'll be able to tell if they touch or not.
Stoya started her push ups and JD counted them off. She was able to do 8. Robin said she thought she was going to pump out more based on her muscles.
Howard moved on to Darenzia and had her do her push ups. JD counted them out but she didn't get out any. JD said she wasn't touching his hand. She got in one with a touch. She wanted another shot. Howard said she only got one shot and she only did one push up.
Howard said that Stoya is leading so far. Howard said that Alexis is up next. She didn't feel very confident. Howard had her do her push ups and managed to do 12. Howard asked if the load came out during that. She said that it did not drip out. She was able to hold it in. JD said that was very professional.
Howard said they have another part to the competition. He said Stoya is in second place and Alexis is leading. Howard said Darenzia is in last place but she could come from behind. Howard said it was time to do pull ups. He said they have to get their chin over that bar they have set up. Howard said guys are going to love this on Howard TV. Howard said Stoya has some physique. Howard had her do her pull ups. She managed to do 10. He said they were going to add them all together and that will be the total score. She had a score of 18.
Howard said Darenzia was up next and she'd have to do at least 18 pull ups to win this. She wasn't able to do any. Darenzia said there was no way she could make it. Howard had her try again because it was great looking at her trying. She blamed her implants. She said she's at a disadvantage with them.
Howard asked Alexis how many push ups she did. She didn't remember. Howard said she has to beat 18 so she has to do 7 pull ups and she's the winner. Alexis said she was feeling okay and she thinks that she might be able to beat Stoya. She said that a load might drop out.
Howard had the girls kiss and Darenzia touched her butt. Howard said that it comes down to Stoya and Alexis. Howard said they were fully nude and doing these things. Howard had Alexis attempt her pull ups. She got on the bar and wasn't able to do one. Howard had her try with her hands in different directions and nothing happened. Howard said the load may have weighed her down. Howard said he can't believe she wasn't able to do any. He had her try spreading her legs far apart to get up there. That didn't work either.
Howard said that Stoya had won and she's the champion. They played Queen's ''We Are The Champions'' for her. Howard sang along to the song and told Alexis to sing along. She didn't do it. Howard said Stoya is the winner and she just won $5,000. Howard said that Stoya and Alexis seem to be falling in love. He said that they kissed earlier so he asked them to kiss again. They did that so he told them to take it to a hotel room.
Howard said that Stoya proved that she's way more than Marilyn Manson. He asked what she's going to do with her money. Stoya said she's not sure what she'll do with it. She's just going to put it in the bank. Howard said he doesn't want the other girls walking out empty handed so they won $500 thanks to Man Groomer. Howard told them what the Man Groomer was and how guys can use it to maintain their bush.
Howard gave the girls a plug for that book ''Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars: Intimate, Funny, Outrageous, Sexy, Instructional, and Shocking Tell-Alls from the Biggest Names in the Biz'' and wrapped up.
Howard asked Robin how she felt. Robin said they had a great time doing that. Howard asked the girls if they wanted to ride the Sybian. Alexis said she'd give it a try. She said she rode it the last time she was there. Howard said this was a repeat performance then. He said they've never had a repeat performance on the Sybian.
Howard had Alexis get ready to ride the Sybian. They played a clip of a woman describing what the Sybian is. Alexis got on the Sybian and got off on it within a short period of time. She was saying earlier that she hoped the load didn't drop out of her while she was on it. Gary had her up at 100 percent almost right away. Alexis was speechless for a few seconds. She said that her legs were shaking. Howard congratulated her on that. She said he felt part of it going up her ass. Howard joked that it was Will's finger she was talking about. Alexis had trouble standing so Howard asked if she was okay. She was fine. Howard wrapped up and said they'll do this in another year. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he's bad but he's not nationwide. Then he said he is nationwide. He said not everyone has satellite though so maybe he's not nationwide. Robin said everyone could get satellite and get the show so he is nationwide. Howard said he can imagine playing that song on guitar. He said if he had any musical talent he'd be playing it for Robin.
Howard said he knows it's getting late but he has to get to this. He said there's a thing in Philadelphia that's called the Furry convention. Gary said it's called Anthro-Con. It's about dressing up like furry animals. Howard said these people are into furry outfits. Robin said they had an episode of CSI about this.
Howard said they sent Wolfie out to the convention. He said it's not just 20 people. He said there are a lot of people and they have a parade before the convention. Gary wadi said they say there were 6,000 people at the convention and 1000 in the parade in costume. Howard said Wolfie said there were a lot of gay people there but not all of them were. Howard said that he was also told it was in Pittsburgh, not Philly.
Howard said these people dress up like their favorite animal so he'd probably dress up like a dog but he is becoming a cat person. Howard said he's so glad they took in these two cats. He said they love them and he's become a cat person.
Howard said Wolfie ran into a few people and you might think they're kind of weird. He said some of them go 24/7 in their costumes. He said they're Anthro-morphic and they have some kind of disease.
Howard played one clip where Wolfie interviewed a guy with a heavy accent and he was talking about furry porn and how he has like 10,000 images. Howard asked who gets into this kind of thing. Wolfie asked what the best way to clean semen off your outfit is. The guy had an answer for him. The guy said his semen is hard to clean when it's wet so he waits for it to dry. He said he uses water to clean it after it dries.
Wolfie asked the guy how he got into that lifestyle. The guy told him he was into watching sex with animals. Then he came across the furry outfits images. Howard played more of that and the guy was talking about how he has had sex with dogs. He said he likes German Sheppards. He said they are very obedient. Howard said this guy has no shame. Howard said Wolfie is in shock right now after hearing all of this.
Howard played more of the guy talking about how he has sex with the dogs. He said he's only done two. He said that he lets the dogs fuck him in the ass too. Robin said she had no idea the guy was letting the dogs fuck him. Howard said that's got to be against the law. Robin said it's definitely against the law. Howard said they have to lock this guy up.
Howard played more of the guy talking about how every person and every dog's semen tastes different. Howard said this guy was a gold mine. He said that Wolfie should have brought him in there. The guy was saying that he had tasted a friend's semen and it was sweet. Howard said there can't be anyone better than that.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did with a guy who said he's into his own species which is fox. Howard said Gary was telling him that they are so serious about this that they stick to their own species that they dress up like. Howard said this is no joke. He said this country is going down hill. Robin said they get in groups and lay around like animals would. Howard said this is psychotic. He said he's never heard of such a thing. Robin asked if there's a way to get off this planet.
Howard played more of that interview and the guy was talking about how he has masturbated to furry porn. He said it's no different than Star Wars fans masturbating to that. Howard said they should all be locked up.
Howard asked what kind of convention this is and where the police were. Howard played another clip of a guy who dresses up like a cat was talking about what that's like for him. Howard wondered if people are going to become trans-species. He said that he'd take a lot of pleasure in that. Howard said he'd love it if Cher's other kids morphed into animals.
Another Furry was talking about what his parents think of him dressing up. He said they're not happy. He also claims that he goes to work dressed up like an animal. He works in a restaurant so Robin wondered if he has to wear a hair net. Howard said that would be a fur net. Howard said he can see the day when people turn into cats and dogs. He said he'd like to see that and see them able to marry others.
Gary said he was looking at the list of what's available to do at the convention. You can go to a panel for ''Are You a Werewolf'' and some other things like that. He said they have a Husky Meet and Greet. He said there are a lot of weird things like that. He said you can go to class to learn how to be a handler. Howard said they have one called ''Flea Collars, Are They Safe.'' He read that list that Gary was reading and they had a bunch of strange things like that.
Howard read some rules about how to approach these people. The rules are the same as they would be for animals. You approach them from the front and don't scare them. Howard said that they had etiquette for the elevators too. He read about all of that and talked about how nutty the whole thing is.
Gary said that Archbishop Timothy Dolan was on TV all weekend talking about how marriage is ruined now. Howard said if he's so worried about it then why doesn't he get married. Robin said he can't. Gary said they say that it'll bring about $150 million to the state.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon came in and ran down his list of subjects for today's show. That led to them going over Gary's lack of organization for a minute.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he understands the comedic value of the furry convention but they have way too much time on their hands. He said that he knows that Howard is a supporter of the North Shore Animal League so playing that clip of that guy talking about having sex with his dog wasn't right. Howard said he's making it clear that it's going on and someone should be alerted. Howard said no one would talk about it if he didn't play it. He said of course he should play it.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he lives in Pittsburgh and they were making it seem like it's something you should bring your kids to. Howard said that's what he's trying to point out. He said it's not for kids. He wondered what kind of newscast they're doing there in Pittsburgh.
Howard said the Howard TV guys have a shot of a $12,000 fur suit. He took a look at that and said it was very nice. He said some people might do it for fun but some of them are like that guy who has sex with dogs.
Robin read about Green Lantern not doing all that well at the box office. Howard said they should keep it up because it could be a good franchise. He said he heard that it was great from some people. Robin said that they're going to make another one. She said Warner Brothers has already said they believe in it and they will do a sequel. Howard said they should just bring in another team to make the next one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wonders if the animals at the furry convention are monogamous. They weren't sure. The guy asked if Howard would go as Big Bird or a Giraffe if he went. Howard said he would go as a Giraffe of course.
Robin read about a woman who had to remove her mother's adult diaper at the TSA checkpoint while she was going through security. Howard said maybe she was hiding something in there. Robin said that the woman is in the final stages of a battle with leukemia and going to see family that she might be seeing for the last time. Howard said this is the way things have to be done now. He said they don't know if there's a bomb strapped to the woman or not. He said that some terrorist could have strapped a bomb to her. He said he applauds this.
Robin read about an asteroid that's going to pass by Earth today. Robin said that it will pass along around 9:30 this morning. Robin said that NASA is saying that it will narrowly miss and it'll be closer than the moon is. Robin said that it's too small to see without a telescope.
Robin read about Florence Henderson coming out with a new book and she's saying that she had sex with former New York Mayor John Lindsay and he gave her crabs. Robin said that she was cheating on her husband and gave in on her better judgment. She called him unattractive but Robin and Howard said the guy was attractive. They went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:45am, Howard came back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin rad about it being National AIDS Test Day today. Robin read the details about that and gave a plug for HIVTest.org where you can find out a testing center near you.
Robin read about the gay pride parade that went on last week after the New York bill was passed. Robin said that Neil Patrick Harris announced he's engaged after that passed. Robin had some audio of Governor Cuomo talking about the parade and the bill. Robin had some audio of Archbishop Timothy Dalton talking about why he's against this. Robin had some other clips of people talking about the bill passing.
Robin read a story about Michelle Bachman making her bid to run for President. Robin had some audio of her talking at a party she held. Howard said she's really good looking. Robin said they say she's the darling of the Tea Party movement. Howard wondered if she's as dumb as Sarah Palin. Robin said she's not sure but she has heard about a couple of gaffs. Howard later read that she's all for teaching Creationism in school so he said you know for sure she's a moron.
Robin read about some other people who are talking about running for President. She had some more audio clips she had Howard play. Howard said he doesn't think that all of these people are serious. He said that he knows Mitt Romney is serious.
Robin read about a drug store shooting that happened there on Long Island. Robin said they finally arrested one person. She said that the wife was driving the getaway car and she may have copped a plea and turned her husband in. Robin said they were only looking for prescription drugs and they ended up killing four people. Howard said he heard about the guy who did the shooting and he used to be a really good guy until he started taking drugs and his whole personality changed. Robin said that they say that the guy may have thought the pharmacist recognized him and that's why he snapped and shot these people. Robin said that the wife drove the guy to and from the drug store.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked about his thoughts of him backing out on the Tabitha Stevens sex thing. Howard said he hasn't given it any thought. He thought about it for a second and said he's proud of him. He said he finally got some self respect. He said it was nice of Tabitha to offer it to him but Jeff doesn't need to do it and it reeked of desperation. Howard said it's nice that for once he's got some dignity. Howard said he's never going to get laid on the other hand. Howard said he should clean himself up and stop drinking.
Jeff asked if that's the big surprise they had for him. Howard said of course it was. Howard said he thought Jeff finally got some dignity. Robin said she's suspicious and it's not dignity. Robin said she thinks that he's lazy. She said that she's not coming to his house to do it so he's just lazy. Jeff said it had nothing to do with that.
Jeff said Tabitha left the illusion going for 10 years about him not getting it up and then all of a sudden she changed. He said he's sorry he didn't turn it down on that Monday when she offered it. Howard said he heard that Ass Napkin Ed was going to have sex with her instead. He had him on the phone too. Ed said that Tabitha wanted to talk to Howard about it. Howard said he doesn't care if he does that or not. He said he has nothing to do with it. It's between them. Howard said if Tabitha wants to have sex with him it has nothing to do with him. Howard said it's none of his business. Ed kept saying ''8 19.'' He explained that it was ''Howard Stern'' in some bizarre code. Ed said that it's the letter H which is 8th in the alphabet and 19 is S which is 19th in the alphabet. Jeff said it's no wonder why he's in the Wack Pack.
Howard said ''14 N'' to Ed. That meant 14 letters in Thank You. He told Ed to let them know what happens with him and Tabitha. Howard let Ed and Jeff go a short time later.
Robin read about how Governor Christy in New Jersey has said that the same thing won't happen there that happened in New York. Robin had some audio of him talking about how he's not a fan of gay marriage. He said he's all for civil unions though.
Robin read about Chuck Schumer talking about cracking down on prescription drug abuse. Robin said he's looking for stiffer penalties and she had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read about the movie ''Cars 2'' coming in number 1 at the box office. ''Bad Teacher'' came in second. Green Lantern came in third with a big drop off. They ended the show a short time later, shortly after 10:05am.
Benjy said he hates people who invite you to something and don't tell you that you have to pay. He said that it's hard to say no when they invite you. Jon asked if he would feel obligated to go if he invited him out to something like that. Benjy said it would be hard to say no.
Gary said it wasn't his kind of music but she's very good. Gary said that the guy she sang with is a well known Broadway singer. He said they do an Opera song from Step Brothers and they knew the song.
Ross Zapin was in so he said he missed what Howard said. Jon and Gary told him what Howard was saying. He said he would have paid for the whole event to get them to show up. He said that he has taken care of a lot of people's charities and he thought it would be nice if they showed up. He said everyone paid. He said he paid for her mom but that's it. Ross said that she was a little under the weather but it was nice for everyone to come out and support her. Gary said he thought that Melissa had just found someone to sing with. He had no idea he was such a big star.
Jon said that Ross also came up during the discussion about Lisa G and Wayne. Ross said he didn't butt into that at all. He said that he told Wayne after the date that it would have been great if it had worked. He said he knows Wayne personally and he knows it wouldn't have worked out. Gary agreed. He said he told him that he should go out on the date though. He said that just because he thinks it won't work doesn't mean it wouldn't.
Jon asked Ross if he would have a problem with it if Lisa G was in his life. Ross said that he has no problem with that. He said that she probably wouldn't be around because she's usually asleep when he's out with his friends.
Jon let Ross get in a plug for his wife's web site MelissaZapin.com. Gary said she's stunningly beautiful and she sings like an angel. Jon asked if he's disappointed in anyone that didn't show up. Ross said there were a couple that he would have liked to have showed up but they were out of town.
Gary said that he had a good time there. He asked who else showed up. Ross told Gary that they had a nice showing. Tim Sabean and a few others showed up. Gary asked if he didn't extend the invitation to a few people because he didn't want them there. Ross said that he would have been fine with Richard, Sal and Benjy if they had shown up. Ross said that the invitations went out on their Christmas Card list so they weren't trying to avoid anyone.
Jon got back to the Strongest Woman contest and asked JD about being the judge of the push ups. Gary said he wasn't a very good judge. He said that Stoya's were perfect but Alexis did all of her's on her knees. JD said he was just checking for the boobs to hit his hand. That's all he was looking at. JD said this wasn't the Olympics so he did what he was supposed to. Gary said that Alexis didn't do very good push ups compared to Stoya's. JD said that everyone was counting along with him. He said he assumed she was doing them right.
Jon asked if it was hard for JD to focus with all of that in his face. JD said it wasn't hard at all. He said that he had his hand under the women and that's it. He said nothing was in his face. JD said that Stoya was really ripped. He said that Alexis did the push ups just fine and he wasn't aroused. He said he did not get hard. Jon asked Gary if he believed that. Gary said no. JD insists that he didn't.
Jon asked JD about Alexis carrying around her load and if he was glad she didn't drop it. Gary said that her hand was soaked when he helped her up and he didn't know what it was so he went to the bathroom and washed up as quickly as he could. He said it was probably just sweat though.
Jon asked Will about JD's judging and if he did a good job. Will said it was fine. He went off on JD for not knowing how to do it with his hand on the floor though. JD said he knows how to do a push up and now he knows how to judge one. Gary asked if JD can do any push ups. JD said he might be able to do one.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked about Scott DePace and why they don't respect what he believes. Gary said Scott does the same thing to them. She said that it's not fair the way they go after him. She's with DePace on the evolution thing. She said that no one knows for sure what really happened so they can't say that evolution is a fact. Gary said there is more proof that it could be real when the only proof of a god is a book that was written by man.
Gary asked if she's Christian and Republican. She said she is not republican. Gary said that they clearly disagree but they're having a rational, civil discussion. He said he can't have that discussion with Scott. Scott will just say he's illogical and stupid.
Will said that he thinks that they're kind of rough on Scott. The guys figured he was saying that because he's his golf buddy. They went to break a short time later.
Benjy said he thinks that he enjoys it but that's the way he does things. He said he tries to master things and if it doesn't work then he'll quit. Jon said that he might get to the point where he's as good as he's going to get and he won't go any further. Then he might quit like he did with chess.
Jon also talked about Howard going off on Gary about his calendar and the Post-It notes he uses for to do lists. Gary said he just jots down notes and he will keep track of things that way. He said that they're more just reminders than anything. He said he has one for Lisa G in his pocket now and it's not all that important. He just wants to ask his kids if they know some kids of a dentist she uses.
Gary said that Howard does sound a lot like his father when he's going off on him with this stuff. Gary said that they used to use carts at the old station and they were like one of two people using them in the country. Everyone else had gone electronic. He said they wanted to keep it that way but when they got there they wanted to move to electronic and then Howard realized that they should have moved to that 5 years before.
Gary said he's never far away from a computer so he doesn't keep the vacation schedule on his calendar. He said that Howard doesn't keep it handy either. He said he writes everything down and transfers it himself. He said he and Will are constantly changing the schedule so if Howard moves it manually they've already moved it several times.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Howard being riled up lately. He said they must notice that too. He said he was on SFN this morning and they figured it's because Beth has been out all weekend. Gary said he doesn't know that to be true. They spent a minute going over that and Howard being in a bad mood.
Jon took a call from a woman who said Howard's opinion on things is very important to her. She said that she loves when Howard is on live. She said that when Howard was off and Michael Jackson died it was killing her. She said she agrees with him on 96 or 97 percent of things that he says. She said that she's on the page with him on just about everything.
Benjy asked if the caller was for gay marriage. She said she was so Jon asked the guys if anyone there is against it that they know of. Gary said he's not sure about DePace. He said he doesn't think he is but he's not sure.
Jon took a call from a woman who told them about what a fur suit handler is. They were talking about that during the furry convention thing. The woman said she's into that fur suit stuff so the guys asked her some questions about that. Benjy wanted to know what she dresses up like. Teddy guessed that she was a rabbit. He was right.
Gary asked the woman, Jen, what it does for her. She said she's been doing the costuming thing for the past 2 years and it's just fun for her. She said that it's like pop;el who go to Star Trek conventions and things like that. She said you have something on your face and you can just let go because your face is covered.
Jen said she used to raise rabbits and she has other characters that she does. Jon asked if she went to that Pittsburgh convention. She said she couldn't afford it. Jen said she goes to some of them and she will work there. She said she goes mostly to see her friends. Gary asked if she drinks. She said she drinks heavily.
Jen said her husband is a tiger and she doesn't really flirt at the conventions. She said her costume is a head, hand paws and feet paws and a tail. She wears her normal clothes under that. She said that the other rabbits accept her. She said she and her husband don't have sex in their costumes either. They're too expensive to do that with. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that Jeff the Drunk is a faggot and he can't get it up so that's why he won't do Tabitha. He said that Howard doesn't have a personality either. He said that his psychiatrist is forming it obviously. He said that Howard just does what he tells him to do.
Benjy asked the caller if he's really against gay marriage. They weren't able to get an answer from him because he was at work talking to someone.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had to give Benjy some props today. He said that Benjy can relate to these guys who dress up on some level. Benjy said he finds it very interesting. He hasn't really tried that but he'd be willing to try it. He said he relates to dogs so he would do that. He wouldn't be into licking his ass or anything. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he never understood the power of Jimmy Buffet. He said he's gotten into the Grateful Dead status with people following him around. Howard said there was a concert and Wolfie went down there and did some interviews. Robin asked if Wolfie works or just goes out and does interviews. Howard said he thinks he has a job too.
Howard said people love Jimmy Buffet. He said he's met the guy a bunch of times and he's a nice guy but he's not into his music. Howard said some people have built a whole life around the guy.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to a guy about why he's there and he was saying there were a lot of chicks there and he loves the music. Wolfie was asking him about where he goes to the bathroom and the guy said he'll just piss his pants. The people call themselves Parrot Heads. Wolfie asked if he would do something gay to meet Jimmy Buffet and he said he would even though he's not for gay people.
Howard played another clip of Wolfie asking someone why there were no black people at a Jimmy Buffet concert. The guy said maybe white people are more important. He also said maybe they're just not into that kind of music. Wolfie asked if he respects Buffet more than Seal Team Six. The guys said that he does.
Howard said he had one more guy he hadn't heard yet. He said he can't believe that last guy respects Jimmy Buffet more than Seal Team Six. Howard wondered why there isn't a Knack pandemonium like this. He doesn't get the Jimmy Buffet thing. Howard said there should be a huge Norman Greenbaum following. He sang ''Spirit in the Sky.'' Howard sang some of that and said he performed that song himself. He said he sold one copy.
Howard played the next interview and the guy was saying that they're the most American experience you can have so that's why there are no black people there. The guy also sang some of his favorite Jimmy Buffet song for Wolfie. That guy also said that he respects Jimmy more than Seal Team Six. Howard said they all seem to think the same way. The guy also mentioned something about raping someone in that interview. Robin said that doesn't make her want to go to a Jimmy Buffet concert.
Howard said he was up at 3 in the morning today. He said he usually gets up at 4. He said he might be a little woozy on the air today.
Howard said Wolfie has been all over the place lately. Robin said she's still talking about the Furry Convention.
Howard said he had a lot of people yelling at him about being a maniac with Gary about the calendar. Howard said they were saying he's too anal. Howard said he is calendaring electronically now and he got there by being anal. He had some excellent suggestions from some of the fans. One guy said you put ''off'' or ''vacation week'' in the days you're off and you do a search and it'll show what days you're off. Howard said that's a great idea. He said it's very easy to find those days then.
Howard read some mail about how he treated Gary and they were saying that he's too rough on him about his to do lists and stuff. Howard said you're disorganized if you run around with Post-It notes in your pocket. Howard said he took Franklin Covey courses and learned how to organize himself. He said Gary has to get with it.
Howard read more about the electronic calendars and how he went off on Gary too harshly. He said being in control of your schedule is being in control. Gary said he is in control. He told Howard that Howard was wondering if they were off on Labor Day and he didn't know because it wasn't in his schedule. Gary said that the calendar for the show is in the system they use. Howard said he thought it would be easier to email because he wasn't able to access that calendar easily.
Howard read more email about how people are doing their calendars. Someone had a bunch of them and he's fine with that but that's not how he wants to do it. Howard said whatever work for you is fine.
Howard read some of the suggestions that people were telling him about. He said that there is one app called Pocket Informant. He said that he's looking for something like that. Robin said that sounds like something Gary needs. Howard said he has a bunch of other suggestions. He read another one from a guy who was telling him he makes his head spin by being on Lotus Notes and things like that.
Howard got some feedback on the World's Strongest Naked Woman contest. He said that some people said the girls were ugly. Howard said they were not ugly. Howard said he went home and looked at the pictures and Stoya was very attractive. Howard said he told Beth he got one of Stoya's pornos. Howard said he liked her and he liked the way she looked. He liked the other two as well. Howard told everyone to look at them on the monitors. Robin said maybe it's just the picture.
Benjy said he thought Stoya was hot for the contest and hot anywhere. Fred said he agrees and said the picture may not have been all that great.
Howard read an email about the girl who kept the load inside of her and the guy was saying it was gross. Howard agreed. He said that is gross. Howard asked Robin about that and wondered what happens to the load. Robin said it has nowhere to go. She said some of the sperm might go but that's it.
Howard read some email he got about his comments on Michele Bachman. The writer said she is not hot and he's not sure what he's talking about. Howard said he thinks she is attractive but her comments aren't that intelligent. Howard said she made a mistake talking about John Wayne being born somewhere and it urns out she was talking about John Wayne Gacey. Howard said she really screwed that one up.
Howard read more email about Michele Bachman and what a dope she is. Howard said he saw her on Sean Hannity's show last night talking about everything she's done. Howard said she was bragging about what she's done in her life. Howard said FOX News is the strangest place to watch. He said Chris Wallace does a Sunday morning show and he asked Michele if she's a flake. She was highly insulted by that. Howard played the audio of that interview and Wallace was asking her about her questionable statements and how she may come across as a flake. Bachman said that was insulting. Wallace said that's the rap on her. Howard said that they like her over there so Wallace had to apologize for what he was saying. Howard said Wallace didn't do anything wrong. He played the clip of Wallace apologizing for what he said. Wallace explained what he was trying to say and how perturbed Michele seemed to be with his comment. He said he wasn't trying to be rude to her. He said he didn't mean any disrespect.
Howard said he likes this guy and he didn't have to apologize. He said there was nothing wrong with what he said. Robin said this shows that they're not fair and balanced like they claim to be. She said they're trying to position these people in a certain way.
Howard read an email from someone who heard the Beatles ''Golden Slumbers'' song and he wondered about the guitar solo toward the end of the song and who was playing which lick since all of the band were trading them in the song. Howard said they did some research and found out the answer. Howard had Fred play that part of the song and explained who was playing which part. Harrison, McCartney and Lennon alternate in that part of the song.
Howard let the song play a little longer and then explained what they found about that part of the song. Howard said they say that was very spontaneous but George Harrison felt kind of threatened by that. He went along with it when he saw how excited John and Paul were about it. Howard said he's surprised that it didn't happen more. Howard said they say that John actually told Yoko to hold on while he did that part of the song and didn't let her in the studio while they were recording it. It took just one take and this was all according to an engineer who was working with them that day.
Howard had Fred replay that part of the song again. Howard told Fred to call it out like he did last time. It starts out with McCartney and then goes to Harrison and then Lennon and it repeats a couple of times.
Howard let the song play some more and Fred had a knocking sound and the ''Me so horny'' clip play to create the scene with Yoko Ono waiting outside the studio.
Howard said they learned a lot with that. They learned that Fred can yell out during the song. Fred said there's a part in the song ''Beat It'' where you can hear an engineer knocking on the door during Eddie Van Halen's guitar solo. Howard told him to find that too.
Howard said Jeremy is on Celebrity Rehab now. Howard said he TiVo'd the show and sat down to watch it with his wife and he got music videos for a half hour. He said he hasn't seen the show yet. Howard said he doesn't know what happened. Howard said he hasn't seen the episode yet.
Howard said he's too busy to figure out the TiVo when he's busy with his own schedule. Howard had a clip of Jeremy talking about his drug use on Celebrity Rehab. Howard played the clip and Jeremy was talking about the drugs he uses and he had a whole list of things that he went down with Dr. Drew.
Jeremy told Drew about how he was taking a steroid that's made for cattle that they use pre slaughter. Drew told him that he had made a mess with all of this stuff.
Robin said she watched Ryan and Tatum and it's like the best sitcom ever if it were supposed to be a sitcom. Howard said that show is great.
Howard said that Amy Fisher is on Celebrity Rehab too and he had some audio from The Insider where they played some clips from Celebrity Rehab. JD said he has the first episode of that show for Howard that he's going to burn to DVD for him. Howard said he has a really hard time understanding what he's saying. He didn't get what he said. Fred did his impression of JD. Howard said JD was out sick one day last week and they really missed him. Howard said he really likes JD. That led to him and Fred doing their impressions of him for a minute.
Howard said JD was writing to Gary telling him some weird stuff about how he didn't want to be the weak link there. JD said that no one really misses days there other than Sal. Howard said JD was saying he didn't want to be the weak link so he wrote him back and talked him off the ledge. Howard said people get sick and he's the weak link when he is there.
JD told Howard he's burning a DVD so he wanted to leave. Howard said he genuinely talks like that. He said he was watching America's Got Talent and Nick Cannon puts on that black street affect. He said he really doesn't talk like that. He said he thinks he fucks it up on purpose to sound funny. Robin said it's like he's speaking a second language. Howard said it comes off very Al Jolson-ish. Gary said that when Howard does this rap Nick will Tweet about it later saying that he's old and doesn't get it. Howard said he used to speak like that when he was in Roosevelt. He said he would speak regular English with his parents but talk like that at school. Howard said this drives him crazy.
Howard said he likes America's Got Talent but it drives him crazy that Nick does that accent. He doesn't have to put that on. Howard said he screws up his grammar on purpose and it's just not right. Howard said he'd like to know how he talks when he's home with Mariah Carey. Howard said Tracy Morgan has that but it's organic. He said he grew up in the hood and he was speaking like that because that's how the family talked. He said he doesn't think Nick really talks like that. He said it's driving him nuts. He said this is what wakes him up at 3 in the morning. He said Beth has no idea that's what he's worrying about.
Howard gave Richard the gift and crossed it off his to do list. Howard told Richard he loves him and gave him the gift. Richard thanked him. Howard said he really likes Richard. Howard said it was a bar of soap. Richard laughed. Howard told him to take the money and buy something nice.
Richard asked if he should open it now. Howard told him to open it in his office. He said he thinks Richard has come a long way since he met him.
Howard asked Fred what he had. Fred said that he had the guitar solo from Michael Jackson's ''Beat It'' and you can hear a knock in the song. Howard said you can really hear it. Fred said they say it's a technician knocking on the door and they left it in thinking it was a cool touch. Howard said he doesn't like it now that he's heard it. He had Fred replay the clip. Howard said Eddie Van Halen sure can play guitar. Fred said that it was one of the best guitar solos Eddie has ever done and David Lee Roth was upset that he gave it away to Jackson.
Howard listened to the song again and heard the knock again. He let the song play through some more since he liked that guitar solo. Howard said he read that there are a few theories about what that knock is. Fred said they say that the story was attributed to Quincy Jones so that's why he figured it was true.
Howard said he heard that Will was afraid that Miss Howard Stern wasn't going to show up today. Will said that she was on the phone last night and she said she was about to get arrested at one point. He said that Zolar is baby sitting her and that's another thing that could be a problem. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Howard came back and talked about the song Fred was playing. He said he was reading Bob Lefsetz's blog and he was writing about Robbie Robertson putting out a new album and they're shocked when no one cares. Howard said times have changed and there is no promotion for that kind of thing now. Howard said you have to go out and work that record in a different way these days.
Howard said he had Jeremy Jackson on the phone. He said he used to play David Hasslehoff's son on Baywatch. Howard said he tried watching Celebrity Rehab last night since Jeremy is on the show this season but his TiVo didn't record it correctly. Howard said he didn't get to see the episode. Jeremy told Howard he can watch it on VH1.com.
Howard asked Jeremy if he got any work after Baywatch. Jeremy said he quit the show right around 18 and he was doing drugs and it was very hard to work and control the addiction. Howard said it's weird because he was a nice little kid on the show. Howard asked how old he was when he started. He said he was 10. He quit at 17 and 3/4. He said he was making a lot of money working on the show. He said he blew threw all of the money with drugs and going into rehab and things like that. Jeremy said he was conned out of $45,000 by a guy once.
Howard asked about the 45 grand and how that happened. Jeremy said that the guy was scamming him and the guy walked away with all of that.
Howard asked Robin if she knew what Jeremy's name was on Baywatch. Robin guessed it was Mitch Jr. She was wrong. It was Hobie. Howard said that was a terrible name. He said that he must have hated that name. Jeremy said it sounded really old school. He said it's like a 1920s name.
Howard said he read about Jeremy sneaking into Pam Anderson's trailer and he'd jerk off while smelling her bathing suits. Jeremy said it started off pretty innocent but then he started thinking about how to enhance his experience. He said he had a plethora of sex toys to use. Howard asked if he ever got caught. he said he never did.
Jeremy said they had to share trailers so if Pam got off work early he would go in there and her wardrobe was left behind. He said it was kind of hard not to. Howard asked if he ever got any bad ass smell. Jeremy said he would sniff the crotch and he would get some smell off of it. He said they were doing slow motion runs for hours so there was some stuff on there. He said he could smell vagina. Howard read that he would walk into her trailer unannounced so he could catch her changing. Jeremy said he did that too.
Howard asked if Jeremy's parents pushed him into acting. Jeremy said he wanted to do it and they didn't push him into it. He said his mom gave up a huge chunk of her life for him. He said that he has Dyslexia and she had to help him learn his lines.
Jeremy said that his mom was great and his dad was an addict who died a few years ago. He said he didn't want to give away too much because he hopes to make that into a movie some day. He said that his dad saw a lot of things in prison. He said he never knew the guy but he found out about all of this about 5 or 6 years ago.
Howard asked if Hasselhoff was a good guy to work with. He said he's kind of a fuck up too. Jeremy said that he was dying for some man to love him and David was like 30 and an international star. He said he wasn't that close back then but they are close now. Howard said he read that he knocked him down on the beach and Jeremy told him to suck his dick. Jeremy said he was hyper and bugging David so David shoved him away from the truck he was messing around with. Jeremy said that he screamed at him to suck his dick at the top of his lungs. He said David still laughs about it to this day.
Howard read that he fucked Nicole Eggert. Jeremy said they made love. Howard said she was super hot. Jeremy said she really was. He said he was about 22 when he did that. He said he was 22 and she was maybe 32. Howard said he read that she was so think that he would fuck her doggy style and he would see his penis poking through her skin. Howard said Jeremy says that she was turned on by that. Jeremy said that they did find some interesting positions. Howard said he loves skinny chicks like that.
Howard asked why he broke up with her. Jeremy said he was 22 and he had started a night club promotion business and he wasn't ready for a relationship. He said that Nicole was probably looking for something more secure.
Howard asked if he ever did Pam Anderson. Jeremy said he didn't. He jokingly said that she had juices flowing from her all the time though. Howard thought he was serious.
Howard read that Jeremy dated Michelle Williams. Jeremy said he dated her but he only got to feel her up. He said that she was like his first puppy dog love. Howard read that he tried fingering her once and he put his finger in the wrong hole. Jeremy said that he was just learning.
Howard said Jeremy has had quite a life. Jeremy said he was like 14 and heard his co-stars going on Howard's show. He said he wanted to come on all these years. Howard said he had no idea what he was up to or he would have had him on earlier.
Howard asked what kind of drugs he started doing and when he did it. Jeremy said he was smoking weed and drinking around 14. He said it slowly progressed. He said he never did heroin. He said his dad kind of saved his life with that. He said his dad died from that. Jeremy said he did try ecstasy and things like that.
Howard asked at what age he got laid for the first time. Jeremy said he lost his virginity at 12. Robin asked if it was someone famous. Jeremy said it was a neighbor girl. He said he didn't know how to do it but he had a friend walk him through the process.
Jeremy said he had some hit songs over in Denmark and he was able to go over there and point out girls that his security guards would get for him. Howard said it almost sounds like his best years are behind him. Jeremy said that they're really not. He said he has a lot of good years ahead of him. Jeremy said that he is an addict but he has spoken to Dr. Drew about all of this and he thinks that he has good days ahead.
Howard read that he ran a meth lab out of his house. Howard said that's like the scariest drug. He said you're all sped up from that and you can't sleep. Jeremy said that they say you're more likely to survive cancer than meth addiction. Howard said he's had some serious issues from that meth use. He said he was out of control. Jeremy said he was out of control. He said he has a gene in him that tells him to do this drug or this gambling or this cutting or whatever the addiction is. He said that the gene makes you think that you have to do it to survive.
Howard asked if he ever had to suck a dick for meth. Jeremy said he never did. He said he had friends who would do weird things for it. He said there are a lot of really devious things in that world. Jeremy said he did some weird stuff to get drugs but not like what Howard thinks. He said he has had people recognize him while he's cleaning someone's tub for some hits.
Howard asked if he has any money now. Jeremy said he built an event production company and he just kind of stepped into that. He said he saved some money and moved to L.A. about 3 years ago. He said he's not a millionaire but he's taking care of himself now.
Howard asked about why he takes steroids. Jeremy said he was never big and he didn't have any athletic background. He said he wanted to get in shape a few years ago and a specialist told him he could help with some prescription steroids. Howard asked if he's big now. Jeremy said he gained about 70 pounds since he was 26. He said it's all muscle.
Howard asked if he got addicted to that like he did with drugs. Jeremy said he's learned a lot about that in the rehab thing. He said that he got into that cycle again with the steroids. He said he got obsessive with all of that but in a different way.
Howard asked if his body is going to change now that he's off of that stuff. Jeremy said that he's lost about 20 ponds since he got off the steroids about 3 months ago. Howard asked if his balls shrunk. Jeremy said that's true. He said that your body stops producing the testosterone and they atrophy. Howard asked if he has extra skin on his sack or does the skin shrink. Jeremy said his sack has been small all along so it hasn't shrunk that much. Howard asked if his penis is big. Jeremy said he's over 7 inches. Howard asked how much over it is. Jeremy said he's about 8 or a little under. Howard asked him to take it out and hit the phone with it. Jeremy said he's been waiting years to hear him request that.
Howard read that he had a lot of acne on his back from the steroid use. Jeremy said that's gone away and he's feeling really good now that he's off of that stuff.
Howard said that he heard that Amy Fisher's husband threatened to kill him on Celebrity Rehab. Jeremy said that's true.
Howard asked if rehab helped him. Jeremy said it really did. He said that they're great over there at the rehab center. He said they do the deal right. Jeremy said addiction is really serious. He said it can jack up a lot of lives. Jeremy said connecting with those people can really help.
Howard asked why Lou threatened to kill him. Jeremy said he made a wise crack joke in the house. He said he said that there's a scene in the Addams Family movie and he made a joke about Amy Fisher being one of the Serial Killer trading cards in the scene. He said that Amy didn't laugh when he brought it up.
Howard asked Jeremy about training MMA fighters. Jeremy said he teaches some people in that and he's done triathalons and stuff like that. Howard asked if he got into that just recently. Jeremy said he did and it's a new love for him. Howard said that's good. He has something to keep him busy.
Robin asked if he would let his kids get into acting. Jeremy said if they had the gift of acting he would. Howard said he has to think about that for a minute. He said you don't want them to turn into the bread winners. They should just enjoy those years of their life. Jeremy told Howard that he was a mess from an early age so he would have been in trouble even if he hadn't started acting. He said he was mixing household chemicals and getting high off of them at the age of 3.
Howard asked who the best chick in bed was ever. Jeremy said he thinks that the girl he's in love with right now is the one. He said he's been dating her 8 years now and he had the best sex with her he's ever had in his whole life. Howard said that no one cares because she's not famous though. Jeremy said she is on the cover of a magazine with him though.
Howard gave Jeremy some plugs for this season's ''Celebrity Rehab'' and said he'll be watching it. Jeremy asked if he's watched Jesse Ventura's conspiracy show. He said that he claims that the cable companies are making the TiVo's not work correctly because they think there's too much information in these shows he's doing. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Howard said you can find out more about Jeremy at his web site JeremyJackson.com. He started to wrap up but Jeremy told Howard how he's been looking forward to coming on his show for years. He said that nothing he was doing all these years made him happy. He said he beat the dead horse until the dead horse was dust. He said now he's not on drugs and he's being a grown up and he's happy now. Howard said he was hoping he was going to say the only thing that made him happy was being on the show.
Howard asked who else is on the show with him. Michael Lohan is one of them. Jeremy said he's totally nuts. Jeremy said that Lohan owes him $1,500 and he won't pay him. He said that a few years ago he met him and he got a check from him and it turned out it was a forged check. He never got paid for what he was supposed to get paid for. He said that Lohan claims that he was going to pay him after the show was over but he hasn't seen it yet.
Dwight Gooden is another one on the show with Jeremy. Howard said he saw a picture of him and he has a big belly now. Jeremy said he shits a lot too. He said that they shared a room on the show and he was constantly going to the bathroom. Howard asked if he would courtesy flush. Jeremy said that they went through a pack of matches a day because of that. Howard said another guy's shit is the worst smell in the world. Jeremy said that if you have to smell someone else's shit it might as well be one of the best MLB players ever.
Howard asked what he thought about Amy Fisher. Jeremy said he could relate to her because he never thought he would out grow being Hobie. He said Amy has to deal with being that girl who shot Mary Jo. Jeremy said that you do get to see their stories behind the scenes and you get it when you see what was going on in their lives.
Howard asked if they go into a tail spin when they see that some of these people who were in rehab have died. Michael Starr and Jeff Conaway were brought up. Jeremy said that a lot of addicts get clean and sober and they go back. He said that he knows of at least 10 people who have died from addiction.
Howard asked what he got paid to do that show. Michael said he didn't want to say but he said it was more than 25 grand. Howard asked who the biggest paid star was. Jeremy said he thinks that it was Michael Lohan. Howard said he can't believe that. Howard said he's not even a star. Jeremy said he thinks he got more than 100 grand. Howard gave Jeremy some more plugs. He asked if he's ever gotten any STDs. Jeremy said he did have Chlamydia. He said it wasn't a famous girl who gave it to him though. Howard wrapped up and let Jeremy go after that. He told him to keep them posted. Jeremy said he'll call in either in the middle of the season or the end for a wrap up. Jeremy screamed out ''suck my dick...'' as he was getting off th phone. Howard laughed when he heard that. They went to break a short time later.
Steve said they also have a story about how some Rick's Cabaret girls have released a video of them reading Gary's book.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to Debbie the Pet Lady using clips of Vinnie Favale's ''I love you Debbie'' tapes. They had Debbie screaming at the clips saying he was a ''sick fucking bastard.'' Howard was laughing through the whole thing as Debbie screamed at the clips. Howard said you'd think she'd be into finding love but apparently not.
Steve said Sal and Richard were out on the road again in Orlando. Steve said that they were a big draw down in Orlando.
Steve said that Eric the Midget is upset with Lindsay Lohan for doing a Beezid commercial. Eric turned down an offer from them to do a commercial. Steve mentioned Riley Martin and Jackie the Joke Man's shows that are on tonight.
Howard said he could just ask the doctor to do this for free. That's the same thing as asking for more money there.
Riley says that he isn't a beggar but he eventually got around to asking anyone who can help him out to send him some money. Riley said that there are some who are blessed who can help Riley Martin. Riley said that he is trying to get over this rough spot in his life. Riley said he can't pay them back. It's not a loan. Riley said his fans can go to RileyMartin.com to send him some money.
Howard was guessing that no one was going to send him money. Riley said that he will personally call the people who do give him money. Howard said he can imagine that call. He did an impression of Riley making the call and thanking the person for the money.
Howard played more of Riley talking about this. Riley was saying that he hopes that people can forgive him for begging even though he's not a beggar. Riley was saying that Howard can't fire him because he's too popular on there but he won't give him more money. Howard said if he does send him money he doesn't believe that it's going to go to a jaw operation.
Riley's co-host pointed out there was a man who ribbed a bank for 1 dollar just so he could go to prison to get medical care. That worked for that guy. Riley sounded interested and told Eron to get him his gun and laughed.
Howard said Riley is running some show over there. He said he might have to give him more hours. Howard did more of his impression of Riley and then said that he had to take a break. He asked if Andrea is there. Gary said she just got there. Howard said she didn't show up on time even though she was begging to be on the show to do this dating thing. They played a clip of Andrea singing a country song as they went to break.
Howard said Andrea has been Miss Howard Stern since she was 18. She's 28 now. Andrea said that she doesn't want to be 30. Howard said she threatens to kill herself every time she talks to Will. Andrea said that no one will give her Botox so she's been using an anti-wrinkle cream. Robin asked if she really has wrinkles at 28. Andrea said she doesn't anymore since using that cream.
Howard asked Andrea if she's back to drinking. She said she drinks but she's not an alcoholic. Howard asked what her problems are. She said that she has a few things and she's heart broken about her whole life. She said it's been very difficult. She said everyone just wants to get in her pants and no one has ever loved her. She said her daughter is probably the only one who does.
Howard asked Andrea about going to real estate school. She said she hasn't made nay money doing that but she is licensed. She didn't go to work doing that yet though. She's not sure what she wants to do for a living. She said she's waiting for that to come to her.
Howard said that she could probably sell houses because old men would want to buy from her. Andrea said she can go to work now. She said she had a whole child support thing going on that's over now.
Howard asked if she goes out on dates and gets money doing that. She said she has done that. Andrea said they don't want to pay the price. She said she wants $800 to $1000 an hour. She said she doesn't know any different. She said they all want sex too. Howard said she's very desirable. Andrea said she just wants to be loved.
Howard said Andrea wants to find someone who will pay the bills and she's not looking for someone with looks. She said she can tell if someone doesn't love her. Howard said these guys say they do love her. Howard asked if she would even go out with someone who looks like him. Andrea said of course she would.
Howard said Andrea has hair extensions and they cost $2,300 every three months. Andrea said her head was bashed in from her accident so she needs them. She said she's not just a brat.
Howard said Andrea is looking for a husband and she's looking for someone to be her sexual partner. Andrea said she doesn't want to just date a stranger. She said she has done that before. Howard asked if she's good in bed. Andrea said she believes in treating others the way you want to be treated. She said she has a problem doing that when she gets angry but she is good in bed when she wants to be. She said she has to love the guy to do that though. Andrea said she will put a pillow over her face and hide if she doesn't like the guy.
Howard asked what else she's looking for in a man. Andrea said that she doesn't want to have anymore kids so no more babies. Andrea said she fixed her vagina too so she doesn't want to ruin that. She said she has a cleaning problem too. She said she's constantly cleaning up and can't leave the house if the bed isn't made. Andrea said her daughter is just like her too.
Howard said what they're trying to do today is find a husband for Andrea. They want to find someone who can support her lifestyle. Howard said that Andrea seems to hate Gary. Andrea said that she's been crazy lately and they say that Gary only has time for celebrities. She said that she would never do anything against the show and she's been Miss Howard Stern all these years. She said she represents the show.
Howard said he had no idea Gary was doing this to her. Gary came in and said he's not doing anything to her. He said he swears that he doesn't hate her. Andrea said she knows he wants her fucked up on the show. She said her friend told her that he said that. Gary said he never said that. Andrea said she didn't want to fight. Gary said he doesn't dislike her and he never did any of those things to her.
Howard asked if she still thinks that Gary is creepy the way he looks at women's boobs. Andrea said she's going by what people have told her. She doesn't want Gary to hate her. Gary said he doesn't hate her. He said he swears that he doesn't hate her. Howard jokingly said that he does talk about her behind her back. He was just getting her riled up. Howard told Gary to write down ''I will not hate Andrea'' on a Post-It and keep it in his pocket.
Andrea said that she doesn't want to fight. Gary said he's not fighting. He doesn't hate her. She insisted that he does. Howard said Gary is not a Miss Howard Stern so figure it out. Andrea said that Gary doesn't want her to make it anywhere else. She said she will be famous and she'll show Gary. Gary said he would love it if she was.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who played clips of Gary saying that she's a piece of shit. That got Andrea yelling at the phone. She said that she will kick him in the balls and bash his head in the concrete. Howard told her that it was just a phony phone call. Gary said that there's a lot of anger there. Andrea said her psychiatrist tells her she has a lot of anger. Howard said Gary is a really nice man. Andrea said she wants to be friends with him.
Howard asked Andrea about what medications she's on these days. She said they keep changing it. Howard just moved on. He asked what she wants from a man. She said she likes to shop herself so she doesn't want gifts. Andrea said she wants to be loved and feel safe at home. She said she can cook and she cleans the house. Howard said she's also the reigning Miss Howard Stern.
Howard asked what kind of money she wants every month. He asked if $10,000 a month was good. She said that would be good but sometimes it would go over. Andrea said she doesn't want a maid or anything. She can clean and shop herself. Howard asked if she will sign a pre-nup. She said she would have a question about that. She said that she doesn't want them using her either. She doesn't want them getting any of her money but she wants half of theirs if they divorce.
Howard had the three men come in to play the dating game with Andrea. First up was Steve who says he has an income of about half a million a year. Steve said he's living off of his investments and he had some good money come in from the stock market. He also owns a home in Brooklyn that he rents out. Steve said Andrea is a firecracker and he likes that. He said he's been following her since she became Miss Howard Stern.
Howard asked if Andrea would be good wife potential. Steve said they'd have to hang out together off camera to figure that out. Howard said Andrea was making a face during that. Howard said he's looking for chemistry. Andrea asked how she knows he's not a murderer. Steve said that he's not a murderer. Andrea said that she doesn't mind if she dies but she took that back quickly.
Howard said hi to Ben who says he has a net worth of about 5 million. Howard asked how he got that money. The guy said he owns a lot of real estate and he owns some franchises. Howard said she's going to have to sign a pre-nup with her. Andrea said that she's a real estate agent. Ben is too. Ben told her that he has a place in Costa Rica so they can go there too. He's 27 years old.
Robin asked how he started. Ben said he bought his first house at 18. He said he saved up and was able to buy the house. Howard asked if he finds her attractive. Ben said that he does and he loves her voice too. Andrea said that it's not fake. Howard said that Ben is single and called off his marriage. Ben said that they started fighting too much and things didn't work out.
Howard said Ben says he's looking forward to spoiling Andrea. He said they can travel around the world or do whatever she wants. Robin said she has a history of fighting with her boyfriends. Andrea said that she only fights when guys threaten her. Ben asked if she has ever injured anyone. Andrea said she has. She said that it's always Gemini's who do that.
Next up was Joe who said that he thinks Andrea is his type of girl. He said that they might have a mental connection. Howard asked Joe about his two divorces and how he got wiped out financially. Joe said that he did get wiped out but he's a pathologist and he makes very good money. He has done about 3,000 autopsies. He said that he left that business. He said that he had to autopsy a guy who went through a wood chipper. He said the largest part he found was the guy's penis. Howard asked what he does when he autopsies that kind of thing. Joe said he just had to piece the parts together and figure that was about it.
Howard asked Joe about what he thinks of Andrea. He said she's very attractive. Joe is 48 but Andrea is fine with older men because they don't fuck around.
Howard and Robin asked Joe about leaving pathology and why he did that. Joe said he didn't leave the business. He said he's just moved to a new job. He said he's not a partner yet but he's doing okay. Howard said Andrea was writing all of this down.
Howard asked Steve how much he'll spend on Andrea tonight. Steve said that they have to figure out where to go first. Andrea said she doesn't like Sushi. Howard asked if she has any questions herself. Andrea said that she didn't have any questions so she had Howard ask more.
Howard asked Ben about what the most expensive gift he's ever gotten someone was. He said t was an engagement ring that was about 20 grand. He still has it. Joe said he got his wife a Range Rover that was 95 grand.
Howard had the guys telling Andrea what their idea of a perfect date was. They all quickly gave their ideas. One of the guys mentioned a hot tub and Andrea said that she got her eyebrows tattooed so she can't be in too much heat right now.
Andrea said she had a lot of questions now. She asked Steve if he shaves his balls. He said he doesn't shave them but he does manscape. Howard asked all of the guys if they do that. They do.
Andrea asked what they would do if she wasn't able to decide between 3 pairs of shoes at Louis Vitton. She asked if they would let her get all 3. The guys all said they'd let her get all three.
Howard asked the guys if they had anything going on in their lives. The guys were able to give very quick answers about what they do in their spare time and things like that.
Andrea talked about how she doesn't like French kissing and blow jobs. She said that if the guys just do what she says they can have a lot of fun. She said that she can get a guy off just touching them with her hand. She said she can get them off doing that if they just listen to what she says.
Andrea asked the guys if they like it in the ass. She wanted to know if they like to be screwed with a dildo. Steve, Ben and Joe all said no.
Andrea said that if they had said yes then it shows that they're bi and she can't deal with that. Andrea said she doesn't do that. She's saving it for her husband.
Andrea asked how much money is in their wallet and how much do they have in their bank account. Steve said he has a very nice wallet. He said he doesn't carry cash. Andrea found that odd. Howard went to Ben and he had a Mercedes Benz money clip. He drives a Benz and Steve drives a BMW. Ben had about 300 bucks. Joe had about 500.
Howard asked the guys who their heroes were. Steve said Howard Stern. Ben said Howard Stern. Joe said Fred. Howard said that was the right answer.
Andrea asked how much money they could give her if they went out on a date with her. Joe said 500, Ben said it depends. Steve said he's not going to give her money. He said that his time is valuable. Andrea asked if he thinks that he could handle her. He said he'd have to put ear plugs in his ears. Andrea said she doesn't believe in wasting time so she's just being honest.
Howard asked Ben if he could handle her. Ben said he could. He said he works out a lot. Howard asked if they would be okay with her flirting with other guys. Ben was okay with it. Joe said he thinks he could handle it. Andrea asked what Joe's net worth is. Joe said it was a million until his wives took it away. He has a good paying job though.
Howard asked Andrea if she had anymore questions. Andrea asked if they expect her to have any kids. Steve said no way. Andrea said he's out. Joe said no and Ben said possibly. Andrea knew who she wanted at that point. She said she wanted the third one, Joe.
Andrea said that if the guy loves her then he would want to help her get home. Steve said they could put her on a bus. She told them to get that dip shit out of there. She didn't like him at all at that point. She said that if the guy loves her then he'd give her some money to get her home safely.
Howard asked Andrea if she's sticking with that decision. Andrea said she thinks so. She said that Steve is out. Andrea was happy about that. She didn't want to waste anymore time with him. Steve sounded relieved too.
Andrea said she had to ask one more question to pick between Ben and Joe. Andrea said that she wanted to know if the 27 year old wanted to marry her. Ben said that he has to go out with her first. She asked how much money he would give her today. Ben said that he'd pay for the date and they'd see how it went from there. She said that he seems to be arguing with her and you can't win an argument with her.
Andrea said she was going to pick number... shit. She said she likes the younger guy but she can't argue with him. She said she's going to go with number 3, Joe. Howard introduced Andrea to Steve first. He's the one she turned down. Steve said he was done after a second. He was afraid that she might kill him. Howard had Ben go over to meet her next. She said she liked him and she told him she needed his number just in case this third guy didn't work out.
Howard had Joe go over and meet her. Andrea said that he had nice teeth and this is the guy she picked. Andrea said she likes him and she likes what he does for a living. Andrea said he might not have that much money like the others did but she thinks that it could work out. Howard said they'll go out on a date then. He said he was feeling good about this. Robin was shocked about how it was working out.
Howard said Andrea and Joe are lucky they met. Howard said that Andrea has been the Reining Miss Howard Stern for a very long time. He told her to keep it up and she's always going to be Miss Howard Stern. Howard said she has the look of love in her eyes. Howard said he thinks that she's ready to kiss him right now. Andrea said she needs a drink. She said she knows how to make a Rob Roy like Howard's daddy likes.
Howard asked if Andrea was ready to kiss him yet. Andrea said she's not ready yet but she did kiss him on the cheek.
Howard said Andrea is on BattleCam.com. Andrea said that Zotard (Zolar) told her all about that.
Howard asked what they're going to be eating for luck today. Andrea said that she can't eat sushi because she can't open her mouth big enough. Howard said he hopes this works out. Andrea said that she can tell Joe is a good guy. She liked who she picked. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said it was nice to see Andrea. He said he's not sure what she's up to. Howard played some Foo Fighters ''Rope'' after finding out that it was number one on Sirius Hits 1.
Howard took a call from a guy who didn't think that Andrea deserved that chance to find a date. He said that Wendy the Retard deserves it more. He called her a cunt.
Howard took another call who said that it was a painful segment to listen to. another caller said that if something happens to Andrea they could find another one down there in Atlanta by throwing a shoe in the air. He said that girls like her a dime a dozen down there. Another caller said Andrea pissed him off. He said she's just looking for money. Howard said she's honest about it at least. The caller said that she just wants a hand out and that pisses him off. Howard said he should avoid women like that then.
Mariann from Brooklyn said that was the best dating game ever. She said that Robin should be next. Mariann was saying that the furry convention people were disgusting. Howard cut her off in the middle of a sentence when he hung up on her. He said she's got some voice.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's familiar with the photographer J.R. who covers buildings with his photographs. Howard said he isn't familiar with him. The caller told Howard about him and what he's been doing lately. He told Howard he won a $100,000 prize last year for something he did. Howard thanked him for the information.
Howard mentioned that he knows Banksy during that call. Robin said she was watching a movie with him in it and she thought his name was Bansky. She argued with him about it for a minute until everyone else confirmed it was Banksy. Robin said the movie is very funny with him having dinner with Joan Collins.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he got to ask some comedians about what they think about Howard. He said that no one on the panel said a word. He said that it was Jerry Seinfeld, Colin Quinn and Seth Meyers. Howard said it doesn't sound pleasant toward him but he's been misled by audience members before. Howard said if someone has a problem with him they should come down there and voice it to him. Howard said that many comedians think that they're better than him even though they're going to clubs and talking to 25 people. Howard said he was never interested in that.
Robin read about a woman who died at her own funeral. Robin said that this woman was alive when they held her funeral but she died soon after. Howard said he wants a hard wired phone in his casket. Robin said that they say this woman died of a heart attack at the funeral. She was only 49. Robin said she woke up there and only lived for 12 minutes more. Robin said they're wondering how this could have occurred at all.
Robin read a story about a festival in New Zealand where a chef came up with a drink made of horse semen. Howard said that story she read last week about the doody burger was an internet hoax. He's wondering if this is a hoax too. Robin said it was from FOX News so it looked real to her. Robin read about what this drink is supposed to be like and Howard said it's disgusting. He didn't believe it.
Howard asked about this pilot that was caught talking about the flight attendants and how they're not hot anymore. He wondered why the guy would talk about that when he knows he's being recorded. Howard ended up playing the audio of the guy talking about how all of the flight attendants are gay or old grannies now. He said that they're either grannies or ''grande's'' which are fat chicks. The pilot was talking about going to a bar with a granny and a fag and he wasn't able to find any women there. He went on and on while someone was trying to warn him that he had his mic open for everyone to hear.
Robin read about a teacher who ended up squirting police with breast milk when they tried to arrest her. She pulled her breast out and started to spray the cops when they tried to get her out of her car.
Robin read about Prince coming out and saying that women wearing burkas are happy to wear them. He says it's fun to be in Islamic countries where they do that and they have order. Howard said maybe he should go do that. Howard said he should go over there and hide himself. Howard said that is truly an odd guy. Howard said guys like that who are quiet must be thinking great things. Then he says something stupid like that. He said they must be thrilled wearing a burka.
Robin read a story about Abercrombie and Fitch firing a woman for wearing a hat that she wears in her religion. She worked in a stock room. Robin said that she was fired for refusing to remove the hat.
Robin read a story about the BET awards and how they were giving away a viewer choice award who was announced as Chris Brown at first but then the real winner was Rihanna. Then all hell broke loose and this guy Drake ran up and took the award for himself.
Robin read about how Charlie Sheen's character is going to be killed off in the first episode of Two and a Half Men this season. Robin said that Charlie Sheen apparently has a TV deal in the works. Robin said that he'll be playing a character like the one he played on CBS but it may be even raunchier.
Robin read about how Ron Artest wants to change his name to Metta World Peace. Howard said that's too long for Twitter. He said he'll run out of characters. Howard said he likes the name though. Howard said he tried to change his name to Free Fitness Class in the 90s but no one wanted to call him that. Then he wanted to change it to Learn Arabic in Ten Days but no one liked that either. He wondered why he can't be different. Howard said maybe he should change it to Mahat Macoat.
Robin read about Michele Bachman kicking off her campaign to run for President. Robin said she had an embarrassing gaff though. Robin had audio of Bachman talking about how John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa but she was referring to John Wayne Gacey. Howard said she got some bad intel.
Robin read about a trial going on for an alleged serial killer. He's accused of killing and burying 11 women. Robin had some audio of the prosecutors talking about what they were going to be talking about in this trial.
Howard and Robin talked about how Rod Blagojevich was convicted on a few of his charges. They spent a few minutes talking about that.
Robin said that Anthony Weiner wants to have a voice in who his replacement will be. Howard said he has to keep his mouth shut for a year or so.
Robin read about Sarah Palin being in Iowa yesterday. Robin said they have a film about there called The Undefeated. Howard said he bets that she's pissed about Michele Bachman running because there's only room for one hot chick in the Tea Party. Howard said he bets that she'll come out with a make over soon. He said she's a beauty pageant winner and she knows how to get attention.
Robin read about how Bristol Palin is out on tour too. Robin said that John McCain's wife offered to be the godmother of her child even though she barely knew her.
Robin read about Hugh Hefner having a new girlfriend already. Robin said that makes her think that these relationships aren't real. Howard asked why, just because he looks like the crypt keeper? Robin said that he has announced that he's going out with Shara Buchard. Howard said he's 89 years old. You think for an hour and get right back in the saddle. Robin said Hugh is 85 and this woman is 27.
Howard said they say flies live for 2 days. When you're 85 you have to live like that. He said he'll be married in 2 hours and he'll be divorced in 10 hours. Howard said he'll live like that when he's that age too.
Robin read about Jared Loughner's trial and how his attorney is asking that they don't medicate him for the trial.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Miss Howard Stern segment was fantastic. He said he couldn't stop laughing about it. The guy also asked if they could have more Fred involvement in the show. Howard said they have enough Fred in the show. He said that Fred is saving himself for the last year of their contract there. Howard said he's all for Fred being on the show.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if he regrets signing in a way now that things are weird there. Howard said he signed with them knowing they had that problem. He said they didn't want to sit and discuss it with him so they'll take it to court. He said he's kind of disturbed by that but they'll work it out in court. Howard said when he got there it was a partnership but now they treat him like a shlub. He said he's like one of the DJs on a music channel now. Howard said Oprah is a genius for getting 50 million and not even needing to show up. Howard said poor Riley can't get insurance but Oprah is getting $50 million.
Robin read about the Williams sisters losing at Wimbeldon on the same day to different players. Robin read the details of all of that. She had some audio clips to play too.
Robin read a story about a woman who was arrested for filming cops in her yard. They went to court and the case was thrown out. The cops say they felt threatened by this woman while she filmed them.
Robin read about a group that has launched an Anti Obama campaign in a few states. Robin had some audio of what they're putting out there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to ask about YouPorn and if he's watched anything lately. Howard said he has. The guy said they're charging for porn on there now. He said you can watch 5 porn movies in 24 hours. Howard said he applauds that. He said that will keep him from watching too much. Howard said he likes baby sitter porn. He said he finds himself shuffling through 5 or 6 before he finds a scenario he likes. This could limit him. Howard said someone sent him a note that it just limits you on your phone. Howard said if he's jerking off to his phone then he's got a problem. The guy said he's a truck driver so he's always on the road. Howard said they need to get this guy a woman.
Howard asked how he jerks off while he's looking at it on his phone. The guy said he's able to watch it without jerking off. The guy said he likes the casting couch videos. Howard said he has seen some of those. The caller told Howard that his show is free too. He didn't want to give it out on the air though. Howard told him to give them the name off the air so they can get that shut down.
Robin read about Tom Hanks coming out with a new movie called ''Larry Crown.'' She said that Julia Roberts is in that movie. Robin had some audio of Hanks talking about writing the movie with another person. Howard didn't care to hear it. They had another clip of Hanks talking about having Julia Roberts playing the love interest. Howard said maybe 10 years ago he would have liked that.
Robin read about Selena Gomez's new movie and had some audio for Howard to play. Howard played a few seconds of that.
Robin read about The Voice ending the season this week. Howard said he's a little behind on watching. He said he'll go home and catch up today.
Robin said that Beyonce was on Piers Morgan last night. She had some audio from that interview. Howard played some of that and Fred threw in some Christian Bale clips saying ''shut the fuck up'' and ''Oh good for you...'' They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:05am.
Jon also mentioned JD and his sick day and saying that he didn't want to be the weak link there. Gary said they really don't have a weak link there. He said they're all great at what they do there. Jon said that the pressure does come from Howard with the sick days. Gary said there is a lot of pressure to not take one. He said you don't want to be that guy who takes a day off.
Gary said there's a fine line with Howard between being lazy and the guy who comes into work sick. Benjy said that's what he worries about. He said that if you have any symptoms then you'll be blamed for getting other people sick if they get sick.
Jon said that Howard gave Richard his gift today so he could scratch that off his to do list. Gary said he thought it was a little early to do that for him. He said he hasn't sent in his RSVP yet. He said he wasn't sure if he should send in the gift with the RSVP. Jon said he could do that or give it to him later.
Gary said Richard seemed very thankful to whatever it was Howard wrote. Richard came in so Jon asked if he expected to get that gift today. Richard said it was unexpected and very nice. Richard said he doesn't want to say what Howard gave him or if he's coming to the wedding or not. He said the note was sweet and it was very long. He said it was from Howard and Beth and it was very nice. He said he really appreciates it.
Richard said he's not sure what he should say about it. He didn't want to give away too much of what he said. He said Howard stopped by their office too and said some nice things to him. He said Howard was ragging on Sal about his electronic cigarette.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard gave him that card so he can get it on the air like everything else. He said Howard wants to be pat on the back. He told Richard to just say what it was. Richard said he would probably want him to do it on his show. Gary asked if it was a gift. Richard said he didn't know what to say. He said he should have asked Howard when he stopped by their office.
Benjy said Howard was torn about it too. He said he thinks that Howard wanted him to read it on the air. Gary said it was hard to tell. Jon asked if it was an envelope. Richard said it was a very nice card in an envelope.
Richard asked Gary if he would want him saying what he gave him when he's on the air. Gary said his gift will be good enough he wouldn't be embarrassed. Richard said they're still not sure if he gave him a gift. Gary said they know he gave a gift, they're just not sure what it was.
Richard wasn't talking. They tried to drag it out of him. Then he said he got a Jelly of the Month subscription for a year. He said he was just joking about that.
Jon said it's nice when Howard gives you anything. Richard said you get a high from it and it might sound silly and sappy but that's true. He said that it's great just to have a job there and get their stuff played on the air.
Gary asked Richard if he would rather have the gift he got today or have one of his prank calls played on the air. Richard said he didn't want to do that because he didn't know what to say about the gift. Gary told him they know he got a gift. Richard said the card he got was very nice. He said he would pick the gift over getting their stuff played.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Richard cried when he read the note. Richard said he didn't cry. He said it was very emotional and sweet. He said that 10 years ago he never would have dreamed he'd be there doing this and getting married. He said it's surreal to get that note. He said 10 years ago he was living in a storage unit and not showering for 3 weeks at a time. They had to go to break a short time later.
Benjy asked if he thinks he should be home now. JD said he's fine to be there but he's in that closed room back there. Gary said working in an office would be even worse. He said he'd be even closer to more people. JD said that their boss works right there with them. Gary said that it's the same thing in an office. JD said he's just trying to say that their big boss is right there.
Jon moved on to talk about the Miss Howard Stern dating game. He asked Gary if she was really mad at him. Gary said she's pissed that he doesn't call her back but he can't return every one of her phone calls. He said there was nothing to say. He said he was returning maybe one of every 8 calls she'd make. That wasn't enough for her.
Gary said that Andrea seems to be looking to get set up for the rest of her life. Jon said she said she's looking for love too. Gary said she can't find a guy who has no money that she can love.
Benjy said that he didn't get the eyebrow tattoo thing and who the guy is that's threatening to leave her. Gary said he doesn't know. Benjy said that she was also talking about how she has a trick to get a guy off with her hand and he'd like to know what that is. Gary and Jon didn't know what the answer was.
Gary said he liked that her trick question to find out if they were bi-sexual was asking if they like anal sex. Benjy said that she didn't like being called the Reining Miss Howard Stern. He said he found it interesting that she knew the implications of it. Gary said she has always brought up that she doesn't want to lose that title.
Jon said that Steve turned on Andrea and he said that she had said something about him that he didn't like. Gary said he makes a very good living but it may not have been enough for Andrea. Jon wondered what's going to happen on the date. Gary said it would be great if they found love. He said he'd love to have a wedding on the air with those two by December.
Jon asked JD what he thought of all of that. JD said that he was liking Miss Howard Stern less and less as the game went on. She was asking how much they'd pay her to date her and that led to him saying ''Fuck you'' really loud in his office. He said he's not attracted to her at all.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD is out of his mind and Andrea is really hot. The guy asked the guys if they wanted to fuck him right now. They found that kind of odd and let the caller go.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Andrea seems to look at Howard as a father figure and maybe he could have set her on the right road years ago. Gary said he doesn't think she's looking at Howard as a father figure. She talks a lot about her own father and he seems to be the one who is directing her in her life.
Jon asked if people on the show look at Howard as a father figure. Gary knew he was talking about Sal. JD said Sal looks at Howard like a God. Jon asked Richard if he serves that type of role for him. Richard said Howard is kind of their care taker and boss and he yells at him more than his dad ever did. He said in a round about way he is kind of like a father.
Gary said he wrote about Howard being kind of like a dad to him in his book. He said that they're only a few years apart in age but he still finds him to be like a dad.
Jon asked Benjy if he thinks that he's like a dad. Benjy said he's more of a big brother type. Benjy noticed that Henry Winkler was out in the hall so he paused and said ''Oh my god!'' which got them distracted. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that everyone has been great about the Jump the Shark thing. Henry said that he's very happy to have met him in person. He said that it's permeated the entire culture and that's very strong. Henry said he's impressed by that. He asked what he was drinking when he came up with the idea. Jon said they were just TV fans and they had some fun talking about it.
Gary said they met Jon after they read about him in Sports illustrated. Gary said they have the Jump the Shark web site, a TV pilot, two books, a calendar and then Jon sold the web site about 5 or 6 years ago.
Benjy asked if Jon might have made more money than Henry did from Happy Days. Henry said he doubts that. He said he made some good money with the show. Henry said he wrote a book and he talks about this in the book. Henry said that he got good deals in TV thanks to that guy. Gary asked if he got syndication money. Henry said he did but that has run out.
Gary asked if he got money from the DVDs. Henry said he did not. He got merchandising. He said that Marion and Don and Anson are suing Paramount for not being paid for everything that's out there.
Jon asked if he ever got sick of being The Fonze. He said he gets to do so many great things that he's not sick of it. He said he's on Royal Pains, Children's Hospital and many other things.
Gary asked if he has followed Howard to satellite. Henry said that he just got satellite in the car so he's just getting caught up with the show again.
Gary had Henry get in a plug for his book ''I've Never Met an Idiot on the River: Reflections on Family, Fishing, and Photography.''
Benjy said that Henry was one of the first Jewish people on TV who came out. He said that it was a big thing for him when he was a kid. He said he loved it when he came out in Adam Sandler's song.
Richard asked Henry if he could hit anything gin the studio and turn it on... like The Fonze. Henry asked what he wanted him to hit. Gary told him to hit Richard.
Gary thanked Henry for being a great guy when he was the executive producer on Hollywood Squares. Jon said it was a pleasure to meet him in person finally. Richard told him he cried when he saw the King of the Hill episode he did.
Wheels called in and asked Henry to say ''Aaaaa... Wheels, you're the man.'' Henry did that but he didn't say it the way Wheels wanted him to.
Benjy and Jon told Henry about some other stuff they liked him in. Jon asked if he's still close to Ron Howard. He said that he's very close. He said they all stay in touch and they're all very close. He said Marion Ross is the greatest woman. They wrapped up with Henry a short time later and let him go.
Gary said that he thought the interview was going to last about 15 minutes but it turned into a 45 minute interview. Jon said even Howard was surprised that it went so long.
The guys ended up talking about Amy Fisher who was on Celebrity Rehab with Jeremy. They talked about how her husband threatened him and got into trouble and also talked about why people seem to dislike Amy so much.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Jeremy is in rehab if he's off drugs. He was addicted to steroids. The caller wondered if he ever tried Ayahuasca. The guys laughed at that. They somehow ended up talking about kids on TV shows and how they can get kind of odd looking. That led to them talking about Jerry Mathers from Leave it to Beaver. Richard said he met him in a mall once and there were more people there for Santa than there were for Jeremy. He said he felt kind of bad for him. The guys had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Sirius XM and wondering if it's one company or two. Howard said he figured out it's one. He said they're there and ready to perform for you.
Howard said that they have Nadya Suleman coming in today. He said he's going to ask her what the fuck she was thinking having 16 kids. Howard said that she's had plastic surgery and she's turned down the chance to have someone help pay for her kids. He said now she wants to be a fitness trainer. Robin wondered if she did the plastic surgery to get the fat sucked out.
Gary said she's going to be hosting some wrestling match. Gary said they had to pay to fly her in and they had to help her out at the hotel with incidentals. He also said that she has 14 kids, not 16. Gary said he heard that she never sleeps. Howard said he heard that it's about 3 hours a day. Howard said he thinks that Gary is wrong about the kids but Robin said Gary was right. It's 14.
Howard said he's been drawn into this people who are against science thing. He said Glenn Beck weighed in about it. Howard said he's all over the place this morning. He said Glenn Beck is a bona fide idiot. He asked JD if it was tape or an article he was reading. Gary said JD was pulling it now. Howard asked Jason if he wrote him a note about it. Jason had it printed out and on his pile of papers. Howard wasn't able to find it.
Howard said the first thing he had was about Shia LaBeouf fucking Megan Fox. Howard eventually found it. Howard said he's had it with Glenn Beck and his buddies. He said they're all pissed off about science. They're asking about evolution and if anyone has ever seen a half human half monkey or a turtle turning into something else. Howard said that's a ridiculous comment. He said evolution happened over millions of years. He said they're like fucking retards. He said that Glenn Beck was a morning zoo keeper, not a scientist. Howard said he has a good gift of gab and so does he. Howard said you have to hear these guys.
Howard played the clip of Beck and his sidekick talking about that. Howard said the sidekick is just as stupid. Howard said Beck was a morning zoo keeper and an alcoholic and then he went to rehab and found god so now he thinks he knows. Howard played clips and they were talking about the half human and half monkey thing that they've never seen so they don't believe there is evolution. Howard said there are bones of Neanderthal bones that have been found. There are dinosaur bones that are in museums. Howard said these idiots have probably never gone to a museum.
Howard said Beck should admit he's a moron. He said he has no problem with people believing in the invisible man in the sky but there was evolution. Howard said there are people who study the bible and you might as well study Harry Potter. He said it's the same thing. Robin said she watched a documentary about Star Wars and people who write about what they think George Lucas meant to show them in it. They want to guess at it and don't know for sure but they choose to believe it.
Howard said that this conversation with Glenn Beck is for imbeciles. Saying that you have never seen a monkey turn into a man is just dumb. Howard played more of the clip and said it was like 2 third graders discussing this. Howard said you can imagine the teacher hitting them in the heads with a book when they say they've never seen that. Howard said the guy is a moron.
In the clip Beck is doing a voice of a scientist talking about this. Howard said the guy is a fucking asshole. He said it's a moronic rap and he can't believe that guys follow this guy. Howard said DePace is worshiping him. DePace said he doesn't worship this guy. Howard said he likes the impression of the scientist. He said he thinks that he's cool but he's just a zoo keeper. He said anyone who is a zoo keeper is a douche. He said he'll always be a douche. Howard said he would never sink to being a zoo keeper. He said anyone who does morning radio with an echo behind their voice is a douche.
Howard played more of the clip and said that he just read that Beck is a college drop out. He said he's a drop out but he thinks he knows more than a scientist. Howard said he's sorry but he can't shut his mouth about this.
Howard said that they should go to a museum to see the dinosaurs. He said they probably think that all of that stuff was made up. Howard said he bets that Beck is going to a doctor for his degenerative eye disease and not just praying to God. Howard said the guy is a moron.
Beck continued to talk about how he doesn't know how God creates but that's got to be the way things go. Howard said this is what Beck really knows. He played a clip of Beck doing his morning DJ voice and introducing a song while talking about snow day closings. Howard said he's the worst kind of announcer in that clip. He did an impression of what that sounded like to him. He said that these guys put a smile on their face to do that goofy voice. He said he can't be that happy about the Doobie Brothers. Howard said he can hear that smile in the clip he was playing. Howard spent a minute doing his impression of that awful DJ voice.
Howard said Pig Virus used to try to teach him how to change his voice for different types of songs. He demonstrated what that sounded like when he would do it.
Howard played more of Beck's announcing and made fun of it the whole time. Robin said that Beck thinks that people need to know that they have to call before they go out in the snow. Howard said he likes how he laughs after it and there's nothing funny going on. He went back in the clip a little bit and replayed that part. Howard said this was a meaningless radio show the guy was doing.
Robin noticed he played nothing but sad songs in that clip too. Howard continued to do that goofy DJ voice for a few minutes. He was giving out some other useless information that Beck could have given out. Robin said he could have said that you have to open your door if you want to go out into the snow.
Howard got back to the current clip from Beck's show where he was talking about how scientists would have you believe that you're born a monkey. Howard said that's not the way evolution works. Howard said there's no reason to try and figure out what our origins are. He said you can just accept that Christian fairy tale that Beck is talking about. Howard said there's no reason to rationalize it. Beck was saying that ''they'' have to force this stuff down your throat. He said that they don't have to force it down their throats that the Earth is round. Robin said they're such assholes. She said that the church used to hang people who said things like that were true.
Howard played more of Beck's morning zoo clips. Howard said he is good at coming out of songs with the right tone of voice. He said that's what Pig Virus used to try to teach him at WNBC. He said he used to get memos about that all the time. Howard said they're such idiots. He said that Kevin Metheney was trying to teach him what to do. He said he had huge ratings and the guy was trying to tell him how to come out of a song.
Howard played some more of the morning zoo clip and talked about how awful the music was at WPGC. He said no one wants to hear that. Beck was talking about what a great time they were having at the station. Howard said that's why he was an alcoholic because he was having such a great time there at the station.
Howard said this was some air check. He said you can hear the beginnings of greatness there. Howard goofed on the guy a little more and played the last few seconds of the evolution clip.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's glad Howard is taking up this cause. He said he's a teacher and school just ended for him yesterday. Howard did his impression of Beck talking about the monkey man thing. Howard said the insane part is the people who listen to that show and believe that stuff.
The caller said he has an anal fissure so he'll be getting an operation. He said that the doctor told him he has a huge tear down there. Howard said he knows how painful that can be. He said it's not going to be easy.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said that Howard is always the King of All Media. Robin said he's lying because he has not always said that. Larry told Howard to lighten up on Beck because he's a good guy. Howard said he can't lighten up. He said that scientists have made tremendous contributions to our longevity. He said that they do so much for us and find out about our origins to keep us going.
Melrose told Howard that he's a right wing nut but he loves the Howard Stern show. Howard kept goofing on Beck. He told Melrose he's a guy who believes in evolution over Creationism.
Howard played a clip of Bachman talking about how this country got rid of slavery and changed the Constitution. Howard said that she really didn't know what she was talking about with the slavery thing. Bachman said that they have freedom that the rest of the world doesn't have. The guy she was talking to said that she was wrong when she said that the founding fathers worked against slavery. Bachman said that John Quincy Adams didn't have slavery. The guy told her that he wasn't one of the founding fathers. Howard said that's the same drone you get from George W. Bush when he talks about talking to his father about invading Iraq.
Howard took a call from a guy who said you can see evolution occurring in the Galapagos islands. He said there's a book that shows this stuff. Howard said he doesn't need a book. He said he believes in the very rational evolution and he doesn't need that book. Howard said Beck is pulling down 30 million a year talking like that. Howard said this caller needs to call up that Tea Party radio show.
Howard said that Beck does see that the earth is round. He can see that so he believes it. Robin said Beck would have been one of those people who thought it was flat back in the say when that was the big belief. Howard did more of his impression of Beck doing his impression of a scientist. Robin said that people used to kill smart people because they thought they were witches. Howard said Hitler did the same thing. Those people might call you out on your bullshit so they killed them.
Howard played more of the clip and Robertson goes on and on about the problems we have in this country and blames much of it on embracing homosexuality. Howard said the whole gay thing makes that guy nuts.
Howard played a clip of some people Richard and Sal interviewed out on the street about the gay marriage thing. One guy was saying that this country is going to be raptured because of this. He thinks that gayness is an illness.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is all over the place with this God thing. He said that last week he asked us to pray for Leslie West. Howard said there's nothing wrong with that. He said he didn't tell people not to believe in god. He said that it's fine. He said he never said he doesn't believe in him. Howard said he hates talking to people and he hates this job.
King of All Blacks called in and said he gets his confusion. Howard said there is no way to prove there is a god. He said you take a leap of faith. Howard said you can believe in both if you want. He said there was evolution and there is no denying that. Howard said there's proof. Howard said he thought they were done with this nonsense. Howard said science has proven evolution and you can see how man evolved. Howard said that's the one thing we do know. Robin said she'd like to know what the Creationism people say about the bones. Howard said they think it's some kind of conspiracy theory. Howard said he won't say that there is no god because if there is one he doesn't want to be blasphemous.
King got in a plug for his show Black on Black that's on from 8-10 tonight. King also told Robin he has a man for him. Howard said he and Beth were talking about Robin and how they'd like to see her with a good guy. Howard said he thought that Robin moved to Staten Island out of love. He said he thinks that she was in love but he's not privy to that.
Howard asked what this guy does that King knows. King said he works on Wall street and has a good job. Howard asked if he's a janitor on Wall Street. King laughed. Howard asked if he sweeps Wall Street. King said that's not cool. Howard said King comes from a long line of street sweepers. King kept laughing. Howard said a street sweeper will smell your feet and lick them. King said he wishes he could get rid of that fetish.
King told Howard that he knows the women that this guy has dated and the guy thinks Robin is gorgeous. He hasn't been married but he has a son. King said the guy is black so that's not a surprise. He said he thought there was something wrong with him only having one kid.
Howard asked if the guy wears a suit to work every day. King said he does. He said he doesn't act bougie though. He said his name is Noel. Howard said he likes that. He said he could be Noel Quivers. Robin asked why he was changing his name to her's. Howard said he likes it.
King said Robin would love this guy. He told Robin about what he looks like and how interesting he is. He said he's West Indian and Howard said that Robin did date a West Indian and that didn't work out. Howard said he met one of the guys she dated and he was nuts. Robin said he was fun. Howard said he wasn't so fun when he had the video camera on her when she came out of the shower. King said that this guy is into health and stuff like that. He's a good person too. Howard asked if he's handsome. King said he doesn't look like Billy D Williams. He said he's light skinned and he's a nice looking guy. He said he wouldn't set Robin up with an ugly mother fucker.
Howard asked Robin what she wants to do about that. Robin said he can bring him in to meet her. Howard said he had to move along because he has the Octomom there. Howard told King to hold on so they can set him up to come in with the friend. Howard said the only negative he heard is that he's a diabetic and he has a kid. King said he had good hair. Howard said Robin would be an excellent step mother. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Nadya Suleman was there. she's also known as the Octomom. Howard said she's going to be wrestling someone. Howard said he's fascinated with her. She said she's fascinated with Howard too.
Howard said that Nadya says that she's completely A-sexual now that she's had her kids. She said she's always been like that actually. She said she went through 6 years of infertility and then she had the invitro. Howard asked Nadya about how she has no life at this point. Nadya said she has too much life in her house. Howard said she only sleeps 3 hours a night. Nadya said she doesn't have time to reflect on being sad or happy or anything like that.
Howard asked Nadya about working in a psychiatric hospital. She said she did that for a few years and she was always an over achiever. She said she had huge dreams about being a psychiatrist. Howard asked her about why she wanted to have so many kids. Nadya said she wanted to have maybe 6 kids, not 14. She said she felt that she owed it to her family to take them all on. She said that she doesn't want to date anyone because she wants to take care of the kids. Howard asked where the kids are now. She said they're all in private school.
Howard asked how she's making money and paying for all of this. Nadya said that her monthly nut is at least $15,000 a month. She said that's for everything and nothing extra.
Howard asked how the whole thing got into the news. She said that they leaked it from the hospital. She said she asked for her privacy but the hospital leaked it.
Howard asked about the 6 kids she had already. She said that she was stupid and immature. She said that she wouldn't have done the same thing now that she knows what she knows now. Nadya said that she wanted another child but not 8 more. She said that she found it ironic that the doctor was always saying that she would make a great egg donor. She said that she would have a lot of healthy embryos. The doctor still has a stockpile of her eggs.
Howard asked if she can't have kids in the normal way. She said she was unable to conceive. She said that she is not going to date now. That's not her priority. She said she would die for her kids. She said she loves them all. Howard asked if she resents them at all. She said she doesn't. She's moved on from that. Nadya said that it can always be worse. Howard asked if she got caught up in the initial excitement. She said she didn't.
Howard said he feels bad for her father. He's babysitting 14 kids. Nadya said he cooks and he comes in for an hour a day and cooks. She said he loves doing that. Nadya said she was able to pay for everything in the hospital with some money she got from her job. She said that her father is a great help too.
Howard asked if Nadya is glad that they took away the doctor's medical license. She said she just found out about that about a week ago. She said she felt it was extreme what they did to him. She said that he's an established physician. Howard said he got the feeling that he was out of his mind. He implanted 8 embryos in her. Howard said that's just wrong. He said that the doctor should know better.
Howard said he heard that Nadya tried to go to the Michael Jackson funeral because she felt that she was a kindred spirit. She said that there are so many phony stories out there. She said she's into Tupac and not Michael Jackson. She said she hides the Tupac in her car and she enjoys that.
Howard asked Nadya about the 14 kids and how she can take care of so many. He said that one of her kids has autism and she can't have the time to take care of him. Nadya said she takes care of him first and she has no paid help. She said she feels that a nanny is a wedge in the bonding process. She said that you can not give everyone everything they need. She said the kids are creating their own little cliques in the house. Howard said they have to because there are so many.
Howard asked when she last got laid. She said that she did it 12 years ago and that was with the donor. She has only slept with 2 men in her life. She said she was raised by a sexually repressed mother and a Muslim father. She said that her mother always told her that sex was wrong and disgusting. She said she doesn't even touch herself. She said she only does that when she showers and it's just to clean herself. She has never had an orgasm. Howard said she deserves one and she shouldn't deny herself. Howard said it sounds like prison to him. He said it all sounds crazy to him.
Nadya told Howard that she has the kids and she's buys with them. Howard asked if she would like to date a black man who works on Wall Street. She said she appreciates the offer but no.
Howard asked Nadya some more questions and she said that she's written about much of what he's asking her. She said she started writing it last year. She said that she only has a little time to write about it when the kids are in school. She said she pushes herself when the kids are in school. Howard asked when she gets up in the morning. She said she gets up at 5 in the morning. She said she doesn't even have a bed anymore. She said she goes to a bunk bed and sleeps for maybe 3 hours. Howard said she goes to the gym after getting the kids out to school. Nadya said that she does a stair master climb too so that's her work out. She said she is in a meditative state while she's on that. If she didn't do that she'd be suicidal.
Howard asked Nadya about trying to become a physical trainer. She said she's working on that. Howard asked how she pays for all of this. She said she figurers it out. Howard said if she doesn't have medical insurance for a child you shouldn't have kids. She said she has to pay $2,000 a month for medical insurance. She said she's always had it. She said she worked at the state psych hospital and she had it there. Nadya said she was attacked by a patient once and she has been able to keep it going the whole time. She said that she thinks that it's about $1500 a month and not 2,000. Howard said that maybe she gets the migraines from being so tense all the time.
Howard said that Nadya speaks very fast. She said that she calls it ADH. She said that she could never take care of her kids if she didn't have that. Howard asked if she wants him to buy her a vibrator. Nadya laughed. She has no interest in that. Howard said that she should do it. Nadya said she sets high standards for herself and if she does that then she's failed. Howard said he thinks that she's cracked. He said that the kids are keeping her from going to pursue her dreams. Nadya said she might be punishing herself. Howard said that's what he thinks is going on.
Nadya told Howard that becoming a mom has allowed her to stay in her safe, predicable society so she can stay in there. She said that everything they do in life is a choice. She said that she could make the time if she was a different human being.
Howard asked Nadya if she had plastic surgery to do her lips. She said they are hers. She did not have any surgery done other than a breast reduction at 17. She said she has pictures from when she was younger and she looks the same. Howard said he heard that she wanted to look like Angelina Jolie and that's what the surgery was for. She said that's crazy. She said that she did not have any surgery. She said she got the features from her mom and dad.
Howard asked Nadya about seeing a picture of her in a bikini. She said she did that for monetary reasons. She said she was humiliated by that. Nadya said she wanted to be heard and wanted to be taken seriously. She said she felt she was selling herself out when she did that.
Howard asked Nadya if she has stretch marks from the kids. She said she does have stretch marks. She showed Howard some of them. She said that she did snap back though. Howard asked her who paid her to wear a bikini. She said they bid on it and she got $100,000 for that. She said it was The Star that did that.
Howard asked Nadya if she ever has sex dreams. She said she never does. She said she's only attracted to men but she doesn't have dreams. Nadya said that the people she worked with in the hospital were sexual offenders and she had a different perspective there. Nadya said she was turned off by all of that. She said that she has her own biases against women who have kids and they have boyfriends who are abusive.
Howard said he was exhausted from all of this. Robin asked why she didn't go into therapy and get help instead of having all of these kids. Nadya said school was her therapy. Robin said that was self medication and it wasn't working. Nadya said that it did help her.
Howard said Nadya is going to be pseudo boxing against another woman. Howard asked if it's someone she hates. Nadya said no but she's going to have to think that she does to beat her down. Howard asked who she's fighting. She didn't know who it was. Will said it's a co-host from the John DeBella radio show. Howard asked if she's training to do this. She said she's not but she is working out. She said she's doing whatever she can to make money. She'll do anything but get naked. Howard said this fight is tonight at 8pm. You can see it on BattleCam.com.
Howard asked if she likes the name Octomom. She said she is totally desensitized to all of that. She said that's not her that they're talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she was spanked when she was growing up and if she fantasizes about that. Nadya said she was not spanked and she doesn't think about it. Her dreams are about changing diapers. Howard asked how many diapers she has to buy. She said she's in the process of weaning them off of diapers at this point.
Howard said he thinks of her house like that episode of Twilight Zone where all of these people were trying to get into the space ship to get off the planet. He asked how big her house is. Nadya said that she's not sure of the square footage but it's 4 bedrooms.
Howard asked if she's going to tell the kids that she was out of her mind when she had them. She said she doesn't sugar coat anything and she tells them everything.
Robin asked what she thought when she found out that all 8 of the embryos had taken, why didn't she do something about it. Nadya said that you have to wait until they are 12 weeks and they were already formed with nails and hair and she just couldn't end any of those lives.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this woman is certifiable. Nadya said that she agrees and that character they portray is crazy. Howard said what's crazy is why she did this to herself. She said she wonders why she did this to the kids. She said she asks herself that all the time. Nadya said that she has the Autistic child and she blames herself for that. She said that she thinks that drinking coffee did that.
Howard said he wants Nadya to adopt an African child and get it up to 15 kids. Nadya said she thinks she's the 15th kid already. Howard said Nadya is there to promote this fight and gave her some more plugs for that. She's also going to be on Celebrimom on HD Net this fall.
Howard took another call from a guy who told her to shut the fuck up. He said that she's fucking disgusting. Nadya agreed that her ''character'' is disgusting. She said she has had death threats for her and her kids and she thinks that it's the character that they're going after. She said that in her head most men are pedophiles. She said that she's a paranoid parent and she gives people the glare of death.
Another caller asked why she brought so many unwanted kids into this world when it's overpopulated already. She said that her kids are wanted but she agrees that the world is overpopulated.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there is no chance that the kids aren't on Medicaid or something. Nadya insists that they're not. She said that she does not collect any money from the government.
Howard asked Nadya if she was disgusted the first time a man put his penis inside her. She said that she was a little. Howard said she might be a lesbian. She said she is only attracted to men.
Another caller asked if this is one of the toughest interviews Howard has ever done. Howard said he thinks that she's made a mess of her life and he's just trying to understand. Nadya said that the kids are all doing fine and there's nothing wrong with them. She said she's doing a good job. Robin said she has to question that. Robin said she's not a fully formed and integrated person in life. Nadya said no one is. She said that Robin isn't. Robin said there is no example of how life is supposed to be. Nadya said her lifestyle is what her kids see and she never touches drugs or smokes or drinks. All she does is exercise. She said she lives her life for them. Robin said that she cuts herself off from the rest of the world. Nadya said she teaches the kids about everything. Robin said she's passing on her paranoia. Nadya agreed with her on that. She said she's trying to catch that. Nadya said that the kids have a good sense of humor though. They don't take it all too seriously.
Another caller asked if Nadya would ride the Sybian. Howard told her what it was and Nadya said thank you, no. Howard said she would explode on that thing. Nadya said she's saving herself for the right one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought that she should have her vagina sewed up but after today he thinks that she should have her mouth sewn up. Nadya agreed with him. The caller told Howard to throw a couple of cupcakes in there.
Howard wished Nadya a lot of luck and said he hopes that it all works out. He said he would jump out a window if he were her. He asked who is watching the kids now. She said that they're in school. She said she has other parents who take turns watching them too. She said she has two close friends who help out as well. Howard said those are some great friends. Nadya said that if she was a nut her kids wouldn't be so healthy. Howard said he's not sure they are. She had pictures she wanted to show. Howard told her to wait until the break.
Jeff the Drunk called in and asked Nadya if she ever sucked a cock. She said she doesn't have a cock. She doesn't remember ever doing that. Nadya said she doesn't remember her experiences at all. Howard found that hard to believe. Nadya said she saw Black Swan recently and she identified with the self control and the repression. She said she gets that.
Howard asked Nadya if she really doesn't remember sucking a cock. She said that she may have with her boyfriend but she really doesn't remember. She may not have liked it. Howard said he thinks that maybe she was molested and she's blocking it out. Nadya said she got a lot of attention from men when she was growing up and she shied away from it.
Jeff was yelling in the background saying that she's a crazy cunt. Nadya said she used to pick her nose so men would look away. She said she was a DD-cup when she was 15. She said she reduced them at 17. She said she shied away from all of that.
Howard gave Nadya some more plugs and told her to take it one millisecond at a time. He said that she will drown in that sea if she doesn't. Howard said he appreciates her coming in and answering their questions. Howard gave her a Sophie's Choice to just keep 3 of the 14 kids. Nadya said that she can't pick. She said she would keep all of them. Howard said she must have 3 favorites. She claims they're all her favorites. She would kill and die for all of them. Howard asked her if she knows their names. She rattled them all off and ran out of fingers. Robin said she shouldn't run out of fingers counting her kids.
Mark in Boston asked if she knows Courtney Love because she has the same energy. She wishes that she could bottle that energy.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked if she believes in evolution. Nadya said that's a long story so maybe she'll write about that in her book. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was getting the update on Andrea and her date. He had Gary give him the brief rundown. Gary came back in and said that the date isn't picking up his phone. Andrea was on the line. Andrea was on the line and said that she missed her flight this morning and the guy is trying to help fix it.
Gary said that the guy hardly spoke at all during the date. Andrea reminded him that he owes her 500 bucks. They came back up to shoot some stuff and then she demanded the 500 bucks from the guy. Gary said she skipped her flight and hung with him a little longer. Howard said he heard they kissed. Gary said he didn't say that. Gary said that she did spend the night with him. Howard asked how he left that out of the story.
Howard said he thought Gary had wrapped up the story. Gary said he wasn't done. Howard asked Andrea if they kissed. Andrea said they did kiss but she didn't have sex. She said she needs $200. Howard said there's too much going on. Joe was in the room with her and he was trying to fix the flight. Howard said he almost doesn't care. Howard listened in as Joe was saying that he took some money from her and used it.
Howard asked Andrea if she boned the guy. She said no. Howard asked if she saw his penis. She said she did feel it. Howard asked if he blew a load. Andrea said she doesn't think so. She said they watched two movies.
Howard had Joe on the line so he asked him about the $500. Andrea said that he took $200 from her. Howard said the poor guy doesn't have any money. Joe said he has to pay the airline fee to change her flight. Joe said he almost blew a load last night. He said that they mostly just slept. He said they couldn't drag themselves out of the room last night. He said he's working on falling in love with her. Andrea said she's not in love yet but they'll see what happens. She said she'll see how it goes at the airport.
Howard said it sounds like a successful date. Joe said it's always a success when a hand goes down his pants. All Andrea did was touch it though.
Howard said they have video of them making out on their date. He had Howard TV role it. Howard said they looked good. Joe said she really did look good. Howard let the clip play and Andrea was talking over it because she hates her own voice.
Howard said he would stay on the line longer but he had a lot of echo going on. He said that their phones suck there. Gary said the problem is that they're standing next to each other. Howard said he can't solve that right now so he's letting them go.
Howard said Andrea was demanding her $500 during the date. He said it happened at the start of the date after she said she's not all about money. She said that she was just testing him on his word. Andrea then took him much more seriously. Gary said he's not sure what happened but he only gave her 400 at first and Andrea caught him and called him out on it.
Howard said that Andrea did all of the talking during the date. He played a clip of her talking to Joe about how she's a brat. She then told him he owed her $500. Howard said at least she felt up his dick for the 500. Howard said he'd want to blow a load for that amount though.
Howard played more of the clip and Andrea was doing most of the talking. He said that was their date. Andrea was giving Joe her dad's number for some reason. Howard said Joe is a quiet guy and Andrea does the talking. He said he thinks that Joe is having a blast with her. Robin said it sounds like they spent the whole day together and he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't into her.
Howard played anther clip of Andrea telling Joe not to hurt her. She told him not to steal or lie to her either. She said if he does then he's going to see hell on earth. Howard replayed the clip and went over what she was trying to tell Joe. He wasn't sure what she was saying. Fred guessed she was saying ''don't suffer me.'' The TV guys thought she was saying ''don't steal from me.''
Howard played the part where Andrea demanded the $500. Howard said things got all lovely when he did. Howard said a lot of women can learn from this. Andrea was making him stand up to his word.
Howard played a clip of Andrea talking about how if Joe pierced his balls for her, she'd suck them for him. That led to Howard talking about the Vinnie Favale tapes and linked them together with his comments about how she'd benefit from that.
Howard said that they don't own the names like the WWE does with wrestlers. Howard joked about how he could retire with those names if he owned them.
Ed was also asking Gary if he could do a show and put a tail on Gary as payment. He said that someone might have been goofing on him. Howard said he owns the name Fred Norris but not Eric Norris. He said that's why Fred changed his name.
Howard got in a plug for the Ultimate Superfan Trivia Challenge they have coming up soon. He said he had to make sure he didn't have more to play before bringing in High Pitch Eric. Howard had a new Sal and Richard prank call they made to a real estate talk show. Howard played the clip and Richard calls into this show saying he was watching them on a web cam. He asked them to wave on the web cam. Richard asked the other guy to wave and got all confused with the call. Richard asked what was on the table and what the papers were. They said they keep up on the news. They kept asking what's up with him but Richard kept asking about the papers. Richard then asked a really confusing question about his mortgage that made no sense at all. They hung up saying that his cell must have dropped off. They went to commercial after dropping his call.
Howard said he hears shows like that and the guy will drone on for a few minutes talking about the loans. He said Bernard Meltzer was like that. Howard said he would listen to the show and the guy was able to pawn himself off as a real estate expert. Howard said he had no expertise at all. Howard said people would call in and get advice and the guy would ramble on. Howard did an impression of Bernard and what a call would sound like. Howard said the guy would eat sardines during his show and you could hear him chomping on them.
Gary told Howard he was reading his obituary and he had a mail in degree from some university. Howard said he would call himself Doctor on the show. Howard said he thinks he needed a doctor. Howard said he thinks that Dr. Meltzer went to the same university that Dr. Demento went to.
Howard said that High Pitch Eric is there but he has nothing to say. Howard said Gary said that he's there with nothing to say. He wants to come in and say that he's working and his mother would be so proud. She's not around to see that though. Howard went into his Bernard Meltzer impression again and had him talking to High Pitch Eric's mom. He had her talking about what her son does and how gross he is.
Gary said that Eric's other announcement is that he brushes his teeth twice a day now. Howard said Gary just spoiled the whole interview. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was reading about tennis and how they're trying to ban the shrieking that women do during tennis matches. Howard said the woman who started that was Monica Selles. Howard said he's not sure why the women do it because men don't do it so much. Robin said she thinks it helps them in their game. It intimidates the opponent. Howard wondered why they care if the girl grunts. Robin said it doesn't bother him. He said he thinks that it sounds sexual and people are uptight about that. Howard said he had a clip of a couple of players playing and grunting and shrieking during the match. Howard said it sounds like a couple of donkeys playing. He played some other players like Serena Williams making some odd noises during the matches. Howard said it has to be distracting to the other player. Robin said you probably don't even think about it because it's going on all the time.
Howard wondered how long it'll be before someone starts grunting out sponsors like ''Nike.'' Robin said no one has thought of that yet. Howard said he just did.
Howard played some more clips and asked Robin if she could identify who was grunting. Robin recognized some of them.
Eric did the getting up thing and Howard noticed the tattoos he had. Eric said he's had them for a long time. He had one that said Da Barsh which was a softball team name. Howard said he has nothing to tattoo on himself. He had the Howard Stern fist logo too.
Howard had Eric get on the scale. Eric was about 360 last time he was in there. Howard said he must be up there. Eric got on the scale and he shot up to 361. Howard said with one foot on the scale he was 289.
Howard said that Da Barsh means ''I'm gay.'' He said that someone tricked him and goofed on him by telling him to get that tattoo. Eric said he's not gay. Howard said he was just goofing on Eric, it doesn't mean that he's gay. Eric has no idea what ie really means. He said he just got it for the hell of it.
Howard asked Eric why he was there today. Eric said he wanted to say hello since he hasn't been there in a while. Eric said he's still working at Yankee stadium. He said he has two jobs now and he thinks his mom would be proud. He said he misses his mom. Howard said he's sure she doesn't miss him.
Howard asked why he didn't do this when she was alive. Eric said he did have a job when she was alive. He said he didn't have two. Howard said he was getting emotional talking about his mom. Howard asked if she would be happy with him crying on the air.
Howard asked Eric what he would say to her right now. Eric said he would tell his mom he's going to school and he knows she's looking over him. He said he's taking a TV Studio production class. He should be certified on July 16th.
Howard said Eric was crying. He really did love his mom. Eric said on July 10th it'll be 2 years since she passed away. Howard said he likes that he's crying. It shows he has a heart.
Robin asked if he has stopped running scams on people. Eric said he isn't doing that and he's paying his rent on time. Eric said he's staying out of trouble with the jobs. He said he works at Yankee Stadium as a house keeper and a greeter at the Hard Rock at the stadium. Eric said Mariann from Brooklyn is proud of him too.
Howard had Mariann on the phone. Howard asked if he would cry if he put her on. Eric said she's a friend of his. Howard put her on. Mariann said she is very proud of him and he has a long history with his family. She said that Eric was on the wrong track. Howard cut her off and said she was giving him breathing room.
Howard said he had Eric's mom on from heaven. it was Sal calling in as his mom saying that when it rains that's tears from heaven and she's crying because he's such a piece of shit.
,Howard asked Eric about why he's brushing his teeth all of a sudden. Eric said he does that twice a day and he's been doing that since he started working. Howard said his gums look healthy now. Eric said that's because he's brushing now. Howard said he's proud of Eric today.
Howard said he heard that Doug Goodstein was saying that Eric has been bugging him about something. He noticed Eric was still upset so he wanted to talk more about his mom to make him cry more. Eric said he was fine. Howard tried to get him to cry more by telling him how proud his mom would be. Howard said she would have put her arms around him and hugged him. Robin said she'd never get her arms around him. Howard said she's ruining the mood. He said he can picture his mom holding him in her arms when he was a baby. He asked what his mom's dreams for him were. Eric said she wanted him to be a good person.
Howard said Eric wants to do an internship there to learn about the TV production. Howard said Eric won't even fit in there. Howard asked Doug if he wants him to intern for him. Doug said he thinks it would be funny but they'd have to be around him. His answer was ''yes and no.''
Howard asked Eric if he knows where his dog Sadie is. Eric said he doesn't know. She had to be taken away from him. Howard had Sadie on the phone and spoke to her for a minute. Sal had the clips of a dog barking that he played.
Eric told Howard that he's doing a part time job making pizza when there are no games at Yankee stadium.
Gary asked Eric if he ever paid the guy back from the restaurant. Eric said no. Eric said he was living with someone before and he's not allowed to say his name on the show. Eric said he can't do it out of respect. Howard said he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about.
Howard said he's glad he's getting his life together. He said he should be proud of himself. He said good luck to him and said he should keep working and making an honest living. Robin said he's looking healthier now too.
Eric said he has his own apartment and he's paying his bills. He said that Richard has seen him working. Howard kept trying to wrap up. He said he would play a song that High Pitch recorded. He played the song which was a Britney Spears song. He also played the prank call Eric made to a pharmacy about getting some twat cream. Howard got some laughs out of that.
Howard asked Eric if he wanted to win an iPad 2. Eric said no! Howard asked why not. Eric said he already had one from Beezid. Gary said he heard that he brow beat them for it. He said he heard that Eric was asking for a birthday gift. Eric said he did contact them and they follow him on Twitter. He said he was going to do some events for them. He said he will wear a bee suit for them. Gary asked if they're going to sew two suits together. Eric said he's not sure.
Howard let Eric go after thanking him for that Twat Cream call. Eric said he'll do more with Richard and Sal if he wants. Howard told him to go do that now.
Howard told the caller he just had to get 1 out of 3 right and he'll win the iPad 2. Howard said they asked Lupe who she'd rather have sex with. The first choice was Richard or Sal. The caller picked Richard. Lupe said ''Richard.''
Howard said that the caller won right away. He said he won an iPad 2. He played more of the Lupe things. He had Bubba or Tim Sabean and Lupe picked Tim. Howard said he felt bad for Bubba on that. Then it was between Shuli and Steve Langford. Howard said he's thinking Shuli. Robin said Steve. Lupe said it was Steve Langford.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He said that Jon is the creator of JumpTheShark.com and he met Henry Winkler on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. He said that Jump the Shark came from Happy Days when Fonzie jumped over a shark. Howard played the clip of Jon meeting Henry when Gary introduced them.
Howard said that was pretty cool. Jon said he was very gracious and a really nice guy. Howard said the show lasted 5 more years but it wasn't the same. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show after that. Howard asked if TV Guide owns that whole thing now. Jon said he did sell all of it to them. He had the trademark on it and he sold the whole thing to TV Guide. Howard thought about trade marking stuff on the show like Ass Napkin Ed's name and ''Baba Booey'' or Ronnie's ''TOPLESS.'' Howard wanted to come up with a web site for himself and he came up with HumpThePorcupine.com. Gary said there was a site that tried to do what Jon did with the last Indiana Jones movie where they nuked the fridge. It was NukeTheFridge.com. Jon finished up his Wrap Up preview and Howard got to Robin's news.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel was doing a live commercial in front of the audience before the show and the technician ran it with the word ''shit'' in it. Howard said Jimmy must have gotten a laugh out of that. Howard played the clip. He said he loves Jimmy but he's sending that to the FCC. He said they must have just played the wrong clip. He hopes the guy doesn't get fired over that. He said it's not like anyone says that word in real life, right?
Robin started her news with a story about George Clooney breaking up with his long time girlfriend. Howard said he spent some time with them and didn't see them being physical at all. He said he seems like a nice guy though. Robin said that some people think he's gay. Howard said he did sense an attraction. Robin said some people think the women are beards. Howard said maybe that's why he was so nice to him. Maybe he just wanted some cock. Howard said he didn't get a gay vibe off of him but the guy is very neat.
Robin said the Southwest airlines pilot, whose tape Howard played yesterday, has apologized. Howard said he liked that tape. Robin said he has apologized for any hurt he's caused. Robin said he was apologizing especially to the Houston based flight attendants. Howard did an impression of the guy talking about all of that stuff with his megaphone. He replayed the actual audio clip after that. Howard said he likes it when he calls the fat chicks ''grandes.'' Howard said maybe the pilot can fly Tracy Morgan around to make his apologies. They can do an act together.
Robin read about how there are more people who want apologies from Tracy Morgan. Robin said he's under fire from ARC which is people with disabilities. Howard said once you open up that apology thing then you're done. Robin said they want an apology immediately from Morgan. Howard said they smell weakness in Tracy and they're going after it.
Robin read a story about how mankind will learn there are aliens on other planets within 20 years. Robin said that they will find out that they're similar to us. Robin said this is what a Russian scientist is saying. Howard thought it was Riley Martin saying that. Robin read more about what the guy thinks they'll be like and Howard said it sounds like he's describing Fred.
Robin read about Michele Bachman's dopey comments lately and how Cher has come out against her. Howard said it's hard to take advice from Cher. He said it's just weird to take advice from someone who has worn the outfits she has.
Robin read about Biz Stone from Twitter leaving his post at the company to start another company. Robin said they're going back to The Obvious Corporation and work there. Howard said he just wants them to fix retweeting on Twitter. He said he doesn't get why they haven't fixed that or the picture posting on there. They had to take a break after that.
After the break, around 9:40am, Howard came back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about how Google has started their own social networking site. Robin said they're blogging again about a new one. They allow you to create circles of friends so you don't have them all reading the same thing. Howard said that sounds like a good idea to him. He said they have had a couple of failed attempts at this social networking thing though. Robin said they say that other sites, like Facebook, wraps everyone up in the same group so you share with them all.
Robin read about a hotel attack in Kabul where some people were killed. She had some audio of a witness talking about what he saw there. Robin said the Taliban has claimed responsibility for the attack.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to play a game for an iPad. Howard said he didn't have another one to give away. He said he can't take calls like that. He can't stand it.
Mark in Boston called in but forgot his question. Howard thanked him for the call anyway. He took a call from another guy who said he wanted to know if Howard thinks Martin Luther King would be against or for gay marriage. Howard said he's thinking that he might have been against it. Robin said he could have evolved and been for it. Howard said that's possible. Howard said he was all for Martin Luther King. He said he was like our Gandhi. He said some of these religious guys go crazy over the gay stuff. He'd like to believe that he would have been for gay marriage. Benjy told Howard that his daughter said that he would have been against it. His wife may have said that he would have been for it.
Robin read about Sarah Palin making an appearance somewhere and that led to Howard talking about how freaked out she must be that Michele Bachman is running. Howard asked who is hotter, Michele or Sarah. Fred said he picks Sarah. Benjy did too. Howard said he agrees. He said that this is in terms of fucking only. Robin said that Sarah hasn't made up her mind about running yet. Howard asked Fred and Benjy if they would fuck Octomom or Sarah. They all picked Sarah again. Howard said he found it hard to look past her life.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Beth ever masturbates when she's away from him. Howard said she claims that he's her only sexual outlet. Howard said he thinks that she's telling the truth too. Robin said she believes Beth. Robin said women don't have that every day urge like men do. Howard said he's sure that she'd only do it with her eyes shut and only think about him if she did.
Robin had some audio of President Obama talking about the economy.
Robin had some audio of Rod Blagojevich talking about his case too.
Robin had some audio of Tiger Woods talking about how his career has been going.
Robin said that they're still looking for Lauren Spierer but today will be the last day of the search. Robin said the family is going to keep looking. She had some audio of her father talking about that.
Robin read about how well ''Bridesmaids'' did at the box office. Robin said it has made $146.6 million domestic so far. Robin said she didn't have worldwide numbers. Robin said this could be Judd Apatow's biggest hit yet. Howard wondered why they separate the domestic and international numbers.
Robin read about the new Transformers movie opening this weekend. She said that it's getting really bad reviews. She had some audio of Shia LaBeouf talking about why he thinks this is the best of the three. Howard said he's just thinking about him banging that Megan Fox. He said the chick they got to replace her might be even hotter. He said that January Jones chick is hot in X-Men too.
Robin had some audio of Selena Gomez talking about her new movie. Howard lasted about 3 seconds with that. Howard said she seems awfully mature for an 18 year old. Robin had some audio of Leighton Meester talking about the movie too.
Robin had some audio Gugu Mbatha-Raw from Tom Hanks' new movie talking about working in that.
Robin had some audio of Leslie Bibb talking about a new movie she's in. They ended the show after that. It was about 10:05am.
Jon said that Howard seems to be playing matchmaker a lot lately. Gary said that he used to do that himself. He said that there are some people who don't mind not having someone in their life. He said Robin is that way.
Jon moved on to talk about Andrea's date with Joe yesterday. Gary said Andrea is all over the place and his son saw her there running around. He said he wondered who the girl was with the baby voice.
Gary said they learned that Andrea wanted her money and the guy was taking some of that money back after he gave it to her. Gary said the cameraman figured that he wanted some of that money back. He may have wanted a refund.
Gary said yesterday he had his older son there and he's doing some work there in the sports department. He said that Andrea came in and plopped down on his lap and asked what happened between them and why they can't be friends. He told her that she had to get off his lap because that was his son sitting there. He said it was a little awkward.
Jon brought up High Pitch Eric and how he was crying today. Gary said he still thinks Eric is a whacko but he has started to straighten up his life. He said that he's not going to throw a parade for him just yet though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thought that when Andrea was on the phone Joe was asking for money to pay for the plane ticket changed over. He thought that he was going to pay her back.
Gregg Karmel from Howard TV came in and said that Joe didn't speak for the first 2 hours of the date. Andrea went from one horrible story to the next. She told Joe about her baby and the abortions that she had and things like that.
Gary asked about Andrea calling her ''daddy'' is she talking about her actual father. Gregg said that it is her real dad and she told some stories about him and how he lost most of his money so that's why she started stripping.
Gregg said that if Joe is still into it at this point he must be some kind of saint. He said that she cut right to the chase with him. Gregg said he doesn't think this is going anywhere unless he can fork out the cash.
Jon asked Gregg about Robin and Lisa G dating and what that's like with them. Gregg said he thinks it bothers them deep down that they don't have anyone. Gary said that he wonders how long Ralph can be the guy he is. He said he wonders if he can be that same guy at 60. Gregg said he's seen some of his friends getting married and you start to feel like that drunk guy who hangs around the married people.
Joe the camera guy came in and said that the guy Andrea went out with took some of the money for snacks at night but he doesn't think he would have told her that he took it if Andrea didn't notice. Benjy said that's pretty scummy to give her money and then take it back. Gary said he didn't pay her for anything. He said it's a grey area. Benjy said it's not a grey area.
Lee from Howard TV came in and said he was there this morning. He said he saw Joe and he thinks that he wanted to get out of the whole thing. He said he was asking her why she picked the bald guy and things like that. Lee said he seemed ready to go and he was booking her flight for her and wouldn't commit to them that there would be a next time.
Jon said taking the money back is kind of strange, if he actually did that. Gary said that the guy needed snacks, c'mon.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the depression and loneliness is going to kick in for Robin when the show is over. Gary said they're all going to go through that. The caller said Gary has a family though. Robin doesn't have a family. She's going to be left out there alone. The guys spent a minute talking about that.
Jon wondered how often they'll get together after the show ends. They weren't sure. They're not even sure if Howard will actually retire in 4 and a half years. They went to break after that.
Jon asked if anyone has spoken any faster than her on the show before. Gary and Benjy said she did speak very fast. Jon said Howard wanted to slow her down but that's just her speech pattern. Jon asked if she made a mistake trying to cure herself.
Jon wondered if she could ever slow down or is that going to be the end of her if she does. Gary said that Robin pointed out that she tries to avoid doing some things and that's her way of hiding.
Jon asked Benjy how she looked. Benjy said she's not ugly but he thought she was hotter in photos he's seen. He said she was an attractive woman.
Jon said that she has said that she's all about the kids but Howard said that they're going to resent her. Nadya didn't think so. Gary said that you never think your kids are going to resent you. He said they love you for a while until they develop that gene. Gary said that the odds are that at least one of them will hate her.
Jon said Will told him that the kids were screaming the whole time he was doing the pre-interview. Gary said Shuli told him that she had a show about her where she was asking the kids to say happy mother's day to her and one of the kids said ''Shut up, bitch.'' Gary said that she did say they have a good sense of humor so maybe it was a joke.
The guys talked about how she has no desire to masturbate or even have sex. Benjy said there are a lot of people who are A-sexual and maybe she is.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that she seems like an okay person and not like the media portrays her. Gary said he felt better about her after the interview today. Gary said he thinks that she answered the questions very easily and he liked her a lot more. The caller said that's what's great about Howard. He's so good at interviewing and making someone like that interesting.
Another caller said he hates her more now than he did before. He said he thinks she's disgusting. He said everything about her is strange. He found it weird that she's going to be boxing. Gary said she's trying to make money though. She has kids to raise and she's making money doing that. She's not looking for people's pity. Gary said that Nadya isn't costing them a nickel. He said she's not on any kind of assistance. He said if she's not costing you any money then why does she bother you so much. The caller said he thinks that Howard was a completely different person today with her than he's been in the past. The guy said that Howard didn't give her a hard time about things he would with the guys there.
Jon said if she's trading off her celebrity to profit he can see why he'd be angry at that. He said that her choice to have the kids is one that's been made already so what are you supposed to do now? Gary said he would never think of having 8 kids at once isn't a great idea but at least she's trying to support the kids the best she can.
Jon asked why Gary thinks that people hate her so much. Gary said that some stuff hit the media and you never heard her defending it so you start to believe it. Benjy said that when someone finds something that you can hate someone over they pour into it as much as possible and that seems to be what happened to her.
Mark in Boston called in and said that Robin is just like Octomom. She can't find a man and she doesn't want to. Gary said Robin has dated some guys and maybe she's been in love with them. He's not positive about that but he's guessing she has been in love.
Jon and Gary were talking about what Robin's type might be. Gary said he's not sure exactly what that guy would be but he did have a couple of basics. Jon said they'd try to figure it out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he knows Howard listens to the show. He said he wants to know about Howard reading Rolling Stone they write about why The Rolling Stones don't like each other. He said Howard should know from reading it. The caller said Keith is the guy that writes all of the songs. Keith thinks Mick tried to steal it away from him. The caller also wondered why it took Howard so long to figure out that Glenn Beck was such an asshole. Gary said Howard has talked about him for a long time. The caller said he thinks Howard is the funniest person on the planet but he wants to know why Howard doesn't read the NY Times stories about circumcision and how it's good and healthy for kids. He said he's not sure why Howard gets on those rants. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that he's wondering if that's from his two jobs. Gary said you'd think that you'd lose weight working.
Jon said that he thought it was funny when he got on the scale and it was 270 pounds with just one foot on the scale. Gary said he was on the scale but just off enough to save 100 pounds. Jon said that it went up another 100 pounds when he got on it.
Gary said he wants Eric to be a productive member of society. He said if he can find work than anyone can. He said he looked up the Da Barge on the web to find out what his tattoo was and the only thing he found was a D.A. Barge butcher shop. He said he may not have even done the tattoo right.
Jon brought up Eric talking about his mom and crying over that. Gary said he's like a 10 year old when it comes to that stuff.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's sure that this won't last with Eric and they'll find something else out about him soon enough. He said that he's only been working at Yankee stadium for 2 years now and he hasn't been out of trouble for that time. The guy said that he was pulling scams on people in the last 2 years. Gary wasn't sure about that.
Gary said Eric did write that deli owner a bad check but he also made the guy drive him and the food to his sister's house so it was like a double whammy.
Another caller said he wanted to say something good about Eric. He said he thought it was one of the best appearances he's made. He said he has met Eric a bunch of times and he's very generous with the autographs and stuff. He said that a lot of the people from the show aren't like that. He said Eric has been very nice to him. The caller said Crackhead Bob was the best. The guy said he just wanted to say something nice about Eric. He said that he liked the Octomom on the show too.
The caller said that Howard had a great explanation about Creationism too. He said it made so much sense the way he explained it. He said he's not sure how anyone can argue that. The caller said he thinks that Eric has done some great stuff for the show too. He said that Twat Cream call was a great one.
Jon took a call from a High Pitch impersonator and hung up on him within seconds. Another caller asked if they would do a big tribute for Eric if he passed away. Gary said they do have a lot of material for him so they would do that.
The caller was also talking about the bible and how you can't take it literally. He said that when they say that God created the earth in days could have been thousands of years. They spent a minute on that and then ended the show.
Howard started the show doing his morning DJ thing as if he were back at WCCC in Hartford. He said he forgot they were at Sirius now. He said maybe in 20 years he'll be doing that for real when he's senile. Howard did the DC-101 and WNBC call letters as well.
Howard said he was listening to some more Wolfie audio clips and they apparently lost some in the email. He said that they had more of the Jimmy Buffett interviews to play. He said he thought the fans were like hippies but they're really not. Howard said he thought they were all peace and love. Robin said they're very conservative but they like to get drunk. Howard didn't believe that Robin really knew that before now. Robin said she knew they weren't peace and love kind of people.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to a Jimmy Buffett fan about doing nitrous out of a balloon. Howard said he doesn't get that. He said he gets light headed when he stands up sometimes. He said he has to bend over and let it pass when that happens. He said he gets the feeling that's what nitrous does to you. He said he has done pretty much every drug in the past but inhaling nitrous from Redi-Whip cans and balloons is strange.
Howard played more of the interview where the guy was inhaling the balloon. The guy said he would feel good in a few seconds. Wolfie asked the guy how he was feeling a few seconds later. He said he was feeling like a 9 1/2 after usually feeling like a 7. Wolfie asked him some more questions about his favorite songs and things like that and he was acting all goofy.
Howard said he had some more to play. One clip was a woman saying that they like Jimmy Buffett because they don't like black people. Wolfie asked another guy why there were no black people there and he said no one wants to deal with all of the blacks. That guy was also against gay marriage.
Howard played another interview and more of the racist fans were talking about why there were no black people at the concert. Wolfie asked some other questions and one guy was pretty angry sounding. Howard said that's something.
Wolfie asked one guy what he had in his hand. He had some nitrous in his hands saying it was nitrogen. Howard said he had no idea this was going on at these concerts. Wolfie was asking that guy why he does that and the guy started screaming and talking about how he gets high from the nitrous. Howard asked what that screaming is about. Robin said that's the sound you make when you love the music.
Wolfie asked that guy why there were no black people there. He said they don't let them in the building. Wolfie asked him if they support gay marriage. That guy said ''fuck no'' at the top of his lungs. Howard wondered if Jimmy Buffett knows that all of this is going on. Robin didn't think so.
Howard played a few more interviews and it seemed that everyone Wolfie interviewed there were racists. They all talked about hating black people.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it's not Buffett fans, they're Philly fans. He said they all hate black people and gays in Philly. He said that Buffett fans aren't all like that. He said that it's mostly upper class people. He said all of the Philly people are racists. Howard said he hears what he's saying. The caller said that the other fans are older hippies but not older like Howard. The guy said they have nice seats at the concerts and they have lobster and things like that to eat. Robin said she knows that a lot of the fans like to be drunk. Howard said his town is Philly and he didn't even know that was going on.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Wolfie does an awesome job on those interviews. He asked if he does that on his own. Howard said he does some on his own and they send him to some of the events. Howard said he's a regular contributor now.
Another caller said Jimmy Buffett used to play in Cincinnati and the people go down and get drunk there. He said it's ridiculous and there are no classy people there.
Howard got Harvey on the line and asked if he thinks his name is worse than Howard. Harvey said it is. He said his parents wanted to name him Harvey or Pierpontel. He said his father told him that and he said he should be happy they went with Harvey.
Howard said his mother wanted to name him Harvey and his father went with Howard. Howard said he's not sure why he had to be named after his great grandfather because he was a skunk. He said his mother's grandfather lived in Germany and wanted to go to America. He said he left his wife and kids behind and forgot about them and got married there. He said that he's named after that guy and the rest of his family was left behind and they were lost in the Holocaust.
Harvey said that's a horrible story. He seemed to find it hard to believe. Howard told Harvey it was a true story. He said he was an awful person and he was named after him. Harvey said he did fine.
Howard asked Harvey about the web site TMZ and how that got started and who owns it. Harvey said he did start it but Time Warner owns it. He said he worked for the company at the time so they own it. Harvey said that kind of thing happens all the time. Harvey said he hears about what happened to Myspace and he thinks that it could be worse. He said that they really screwed Myspace up. They were worth 600 million and they just sold it for 35 million.
Howard wondered why they don't hire back the guy Tom Freston to run that site. He said that Sumner Redstone should be blowing the guy for not buying it when he was working at the company.
Harvey said they hired Justin Timberlake to help run Myspace and he thinks they did that because he was in The Social Network and they seem to think that he's that guy who started Facebook.
Howard said he used to see TMZ giving everything away for free and he thinks they just wanted to get their name out there. Howard said now he's reading that they're the second most popular entertainment web site out there. Howard asked what it's worth now. Harvey said he has no idea. Howard asked if he gets a cut. Harvey told Howard he's treated well. Howard asked if that means he participates in the profits. Harvey said the better the site does, the better it is for him.
Howard asked if he's a millionaire. Harvey seemed embarrassed and wouldn't say. Harvey said Howard has a staff there and it can only lead to bad things. He said that if he says something then the guys there will lynch him. Harvey said that he'd like to change the subject.
Harvey told Howard that when they started the site he figured that anyone who wanted to do entertainment stuff would use what they had. He said it was more valuable to brand TMZ than advertise. He said all they did was ask for credit. He said they still do that too. Harvey said it took like 3 or 4 months and then they were everywhere. He said it worked but people thought they were idiots for doing it.
Howard said sometimes they have to pay for a picture or something. He asked Harvey if they buy their pictures. Harvey said everyone does that. He said even the news stations that have video of things pay people go out and record that stuff for them. Harvey said what the TV shows are now doing is paying for a picture but they say they're just paying for the picture and not for the interviews that they're doing. That way they can say they're not paying for the interviews.
Howard asked Harvey about one of his reporters and how he found him. Harvey said that journalism can be a lazy business for some. He said he admires people who hustle and get out and find stories instead of waiting for them to come over the wire.
Howard said that Alec Baldwin doesn't like TMZ because they put out the video of his phone call to his daughter. Howard said that Alec says that they get pleasure from ruining other people's lives. He asked Harvey if he gets a hard time from people out there when he's out on the town. Harvey said their TV show is a laugh and it's much different than the web site. He said if they were out confronting people then it would be a different story. Harvey said they just have fun with the celebrities. He said it's almost the opposite when he goes out. He said people tell him they watch the show.
Howard asked Harvey why he doesn't go out and do this on his own. Harvey said he likes where he is and he knows somebody who was very successful reading a story in the Hollywood Reporter about making more money than them. He said it ruined their weekend. Harvey said that you just have to figure out what works for you and not compare yourself to others.
Howard said Harvey is a lawyer by trade. He's a bright guy and he turned around and said this wasn't doing it for him so he changed careers. Harvey said that's because of his dad. He said he told his dad he didn't like it and he wanted to try something else. He said his dad was great about it. He said his dad told him to go out and follow his dream because he wasn't able to do that himself.
Howard read some of the stories that TMZ broke. Howard said they broke the Michael Jackson story and some of the Mel Gibson rant tapes, the Alec Baldwin rant, the Michael Richards rant, Tiger Woods accident, the Rihanna and Chris Brown fight and more. Howard read that they paid $62,000 for that picture. Harvey said that some of the stuff that's out there isn't true. Howard said it's worth paying for because it gets the TMZ name out there. Harvey told Howard that the Chris Brown people were saying that the fight was nothing but that picture told a different story. He said that it was really important and everyone was lying about it.
Howard said they broke the Christian Bale rant on the set of Terminator too. Harvey said that was a Warner Brothers movie too so you have to think about how they reacted to that. Howard said that they must be able to tell him to hold back on something like that. Harvey said they don't hold them back from running a story. He swears to Howard that they never put pressure on him like that.
Howard asked why Christian Bale didn't go to them and ask them not to let it run. Harvey said that they might have people come to them but they don't put the pressure on him. Harvey said that they've never had anyone put pressure on them to stop a story.
Harvey said that they didn't even get anything back about the Mel Gibson rant. He said that Mel had worked for Time Warner too. He said that if they had tried to kill it then it would have been one of those P.R. Machine things. He said that they had to run the story but they were told they had to do it right if they did.
Harvey said they have had to retract some stories. He said they've been duped like everyone out there has. Harvey said this whole thing is about trust and they have to build this up. He said that no one was working with online news sites like this before. He said that they asked people to trust them and they had to build that up. Harvey said there are some people he doesn't trust and there are others he'd take to the bank.
Howard said he heard there was a story about a woman who had some information about Michael Jackson and he figured out that she had stolen some documents. Harvey turned down the story because of that. Harvey said that he had to avoid dealing with that person because of that. He said that you have to earn trust from people. He said you have to have your word worth gold to keep talking to some of these people. Howard asked what it was that he learned about Michael Jackson. Harvey said it had to do with his kids and it was very detailed. He said that's as much as he's going to say. He didn't want to get into the details.
Harvey said he has to be a man of his word and he can't say what this person told him or who this person was because he promised that it would be confidential.
Howard asked Harvey about the David Hasselhoff video of him being drunk. He said they didn't run with that story but they ran with the Alec Baldwin voice mail. Harvey said they're different things. He said they debate and argue all the time about what to run. He said the difference between Hasselhoff and Alec Baldwin was that Baldwin's case was public. He said the Hasselhoff thing was private and between the daughter and her father. He said he did struggle with the Alec Baldwin thing but it was part of a court case. He said the case was not sealed and it was in a very public divorce. He said anyone could have gotten it when they got it. Robin asked if they ever ran that Hasselhoff story. Harvey said they never did and they don't regret it.
Howard asked if he thinks that the Paparazzi should be regulated more because they can step over the line. Harvey said someone is going to die and Howard is right. He said Lindsay Lohan told people she wasn't going to go out last night because she knows that there are renegade people who will follow and chase people like her around to get pictures. Howard asked what a picture of her is worth. Harvey said that's just the way this thing works. He said that they're not sure if it'll be interesting but it's the chase and the possibility that they're after.
Howard asked Harvey if he'll out people. Harvey said he will say no. He said they're not doing things like that. Harvey said they're not the bedroom police. Howard asked if a picture of him is worth anything because he'll send him one if he pays him.
Howard asked Harvey if they'll run stories about people cheating. Harvey said they covered the Arnold thing but that's a really wild story. He said that Arnold is doing to do fine after this whole thing. He said that some people will look at someone in the middle of a scandal and say they're done. He said you look at it right when it happens and you figure they won't be fine. He said that's never the way it works out. Harvey said he thinks that Arnold will be fine. He didn't hurt anyone other than his family.
Howard said he thinks he's right. He said Elliot Spitzer is doing fine and Arnold will too. Howard said Marv Albert was doing weird stuff but he's back doing his thing and he's doing fabulous. Howard said Marv won't even look at him because he thinks he's a scum bag.
Howard and Harvey talked about how people will forgive people who have a good song or a movie. Harvey said Chris Brown has been forgiven.
Howard said he heard that Mel Gibson threatened to break Harvey's knees and bury him in the desert. Harvey didn't believe that was a real story.
Howard asked Harvey about how he was agoraphobic when he was younger. Harvey said when he was a reporter in his 30s and he worked at a station and he was afraid that his news director would find out. He said he didn't like leaving the house.
Howard said Harvey has had quite a life. He was a lawyer and then he was a professor. Harvey said he was a pretty awful law student. He said then he moved to Miami and he was making $11,500 a year and he loved it down there. Howard said then he became a reporter. Robin asked why he does the People's Court. Harvey said he loves doing that and he's been doing it for like 25 years now.
Howard asked Harvey about his boyfriend being a body builder. Harvey said he's not. He said the story that ran about him is not true. Howard asked if he's ever had sex with a celebrity. Harvey thought about it and said no. He was thinking back to figure it out since he's been with this one guy for 19 years.
Howard asked Harvey if he gets followed around since he's on TV. Harvey said he does. Howard asked if he tells them they can't do that. Harvey said you can't do that. He said he got caught texting in Venice in his car. He said he was standing there in his car and traffic wasn't moving and everyone was taking pictures of him getting a ticket from a cop.
Howard asked Harvey if he has ever run a story about a friend. Harvey said he has. He said there are a lot of people he knows on different levels. He thought about it and said it's more about the people who work with the celebrities and not even about the celebrities.
Howard asked Harvey if he's a top or bottom. Harvey laughed. Howard said he pictures him as the top. Harvey laughed more. Howard said he thinks that Harvey is the man. Robin said she thinks Howard is wrong. Howard said maybe he's the bottom. Robin said she thinks he's a bottom and he's always been the bottom. Harvey said he's not going to come clean on this one. Howard said it's time that he does.
Howard asked Harvey if he's going to come to New York and get married. Harvey said he will not. Harvey said he thinks that the gay marriage thing will eventually be legal everywhere. Howard asked who would propose in his relationship. Harvey said he isn't going to answer that because he knows what Howard is doing. He said he knows that he's trying to get an answer for that earlier question in a round about way. Howard said Robin wanted to know if Harvey swallows. Harvey asked if they're done now.
Howard said the reason Harvey is on is because they're going to have a TMZ show on channel 107 (Stars) every evening. Howard said that he's involved in Harvey's world with the whole TMZ thing. He's always following what they run. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said they may never know what the answer to that top and bottom question was. Robin said she had no idea that he was gay. Howard said he had it in his notes and he never really thought about it either. He said he would like to know if he's getting it or giving it though. Howard said if he's that uptight about it he must be getting it.
Gary said he was reading about it and they found one guy who was bi and one who was married to a woman so they kicked them out. Robin said she thinks you have to desire a relationship with the same sex to be gay. Howard said you have to have acted on it. Howard said he would make the guys blow other guys to prove that they're gay. He said that's how you do it. Robin said she's not sure and who cares anyway? Howard said he cares.
Howard said he saw that Chris Hansen was caught cheating on his wife. Howard said he thought Chris Hansen was the guy who was on The Bachelor but that's a different guy. Howard said Hansen is the guy who was on To Catch a Predator. Howard said they caught the guy cheating on his wife on video. Robin was hoping they were going to catch him with an underage girl.
Fred went to play the clip but it disappeared. Howard asked if he wanted to forget it. Fred said he'd fix it. He played the song and Howard heard the piano sound and the laugh. He had him replay it once.
Howard said there's another Van Halen song where David Lee Roth sang something strange and they left the line in the song. The lyric was supposed to be ''I see a lot of people looking for a moon beam'' but Roth sang it all screwed up and they left it in. Fred thought it was at 1:58 in the song but he played it and it wasn't the right part of the song. Fred said that his whole page of stuff and everything was gone. Scott the Engineer came in and said that someone deleted them all. He said all of the clips are gone from the library. They were there yesterday and now they're gone. Howard said he bets that Scott deleted them accidentally. Scott said they have about 10 people who have access. Howard told him to find out who did it and have them fired. Howard said it's like pulling teeth around there. That led to them playing a ''Scott's Fucking Up Again'' song parody.
Howard said he'd like to know who would delete those things. He said no one would do that. That led to Howard going off on Ronnie. He said he heard that Ronnie has an intern taking care of his dog at his house. He wondered why he's fraternizing with the interns and why it's always a female intern. He said that was all being discussed on the Intern Show last night.
Howard played a clip from the Intern Show where Ronnie called in and explained what was going on with the intern taking care of his dog. Steve Brandano said he can see Howard having a problem with it. Howard said he's asked Ronnie to stay away from the interns and he just won't. He said he's not sure how many of these intern stories they're going to hear. Howard said he can't stay away from the interns.
Howard said he wants Ronnie's dog to be watched but he's not sure why it's an intern. Ronnie came in and said he hired a girl to watch his dog. Howard said he has asked him to stay away from the interns. Ronnie said he's paying her. He said she loves dogs and he thought it would be great for her to do it. Ronnie said he asked Tracey about it and it was no big deal. Howard said a lot of people have come to him about this. He said he's always involved with the interns.
Howard said Gary asked a teacher at his kid's school to watch his dog. Gary said he's not trying to give Ronnie a hard time but he asked people who have used people before. He said he's getting someone with a recommendation. Ronnie said he asked this girl and he's known her for a few weeks. He said he thinks that she's trustworthy. Howard said maybe she's a dog napper. He said Ronnie really doesn't know her. Ronnie said he's fucked if that's who they hire there then. Howard said he's not sure why it's always one of his interns. He said he invited a bunch of interns to his block party. He only invited the female interns.
Ronnie said Howard has interns at his office. Howard said he pays people to work for him. He said that they're working on the radio show stuff. Ronnie didn't get what the big deal was. Howard said he has to stop comparing himself to him and he's trying to figure out if it's a big deal or not. Ronnie asked who brings this stuff up. Howard said he's not going to say. Ronnie figured it was Gary. Gary said he has to calm down. He told him to stop talking. Gary told Ronnie that Howard just asked him who he uses for his dog. He said that he just told him that and that was it. He said he had nothing to do with telling Howard about the intern thing.
Gary said he was just answering Howard's question and he's not sure why it's all about Ronnie now. Howard said he didn't have a problem with this until he started thinking about how Ronnie is always with the interns. Ronnie said he's not always with them. He said he didn't ask her out on a date or anything. Howard said that might be next.
Howard played more of the Intern Show clip where Ronnie was talking to the interns about how he figured this intern, Rose, was good to take care of the dog. Steve said he didn't think it was a big deal but he's thinking Howard might. Steve said he didn't think that there was anything wrong with him calling that intern ''smiles'' either but Howard did.
Howard said no one else is using interns like this. He said he's always busy with the interns. Howard said he knows he doesn't talk to the guy interns. Ronnie said he never talks to any of the interns. Howard told them all to come in so he can ask.
A caller said that Ronnie is a dick for real and he's annoying. She told Howard to have a good weekend. Ronnie told her to have one too and called her an asshole.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Ronnie is out of control and he has to be stopped . He said he should have friends watch the dog. He said Ronnie is wrong. Ronnie said he hired someone to watch his dog and that's it. He said he's not wrong. Ronnie said he doesn't think he's wrong on this point. The caller said Howard told him not to fraternize with them and he's now hired one to watch his dog. Howard asked if he promised to make her the Hot Chick of the Week. Ronnie said he did not.
Gary said that two of the interns said that Ronnie does talk to them. Two of them said he doesn't. Ronnie asked what he says to them. Gary said he can't talk when Ronnie is screaming. Howard said that's Ronnie's thing to drown out everyone.
Gary said he asked the interns there who Ronnie talks to. Gary said that he asked them himself and made a decision not to send them in the studio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to know why Howard keeps this guy around. Ronnie got upset with that too. Another caller told Ronnie to just leave the interns alone. Howard said he's explained that to Ronnie a million times. Ronnie said he's sorry that it's a crime to them around there to hire someone to take care of his dog. Howard said he's overly involved. Ronnie was all angry saying he is not overly involved. Howard said that's that. He said out of all of the people in this world Ronnie found an intern to watch his dog. He said he had to take a brake after that.
Howard came back and said he watched ''The Voice'' last night but he was getting kind of burned out on the show. He said it started out really good. He said that they got to the point where they were saying that everyone was great and he didn't dig that. He said the fast forward on his TiVo helped him get through the show. Howard said he fast forwarded through all of the judge's comments. Robin agreed that it was all positive stuff from the judges.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Ronnie being all over the news these days. He's the subject of some street art. Steve said that the creator is saying that people get a kick out of the art even though they don't know who Ronnie is.
Steve said that Ronnie and Scott are going to be in Atlantic City this weekend doing another appearance. Steve said that Ronnie has also lost a gnome from his property and someone sent him a picture of it with a gag on it asking for help.
Steve said that Brian Michael Bendis was on Geektime last week and he talked about working on the Spider-Man musical and told the producer that he told her it wouldn't work.
Howard said there's a Pink Floyd ''Wish You Were Here'' where David Gilmore coughs. Howard said there are rumors about why the cough was left in the song. Howard had Fred play that as well. Howard and Robin got a laugh out of it. Fred swears that it's a real cough. Howard said he has never heard that and he's played the song a million times. Fred said he had the actual song in the system to play too. He played that for Howard and you can hear something in there. Howard asked Fred if he was fucking with him. Fred said he swears he was playing the song from the Prophet system.
Fred said that Scott put it in both channels even though it's just in one in the actual song and you can hear it even better. It's there.
Howard thought that was it but Fred said in Hey Jude John Lennon says ''Fucking Hell'' at 2:59 in the song. Fred played that one for Howard. Howard didn't hear it but Robin did. Howard had him replay it. Howard heard it on the replay. Howard said he can see missing that. He said he can't imagine how he missed the cough in that Pink Floyd song though. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he had some audio of the guy (Luke Irvin Chrisco) who was caught hiding in a public portable toilet explaining why he was in there. The guy said that we all have bodily fluid so he didn't think it was that big of a deal. The guy said he felt he was being blessed by their energy. Howard said ''Wow... what a whacko.''
Howard said the guy isn't ashamed at all to talk about this. He was talking about how the smell wasn't even that bad in there. Howard said he wonders if King of All Blacks would be into something like that. He said he was on Black on Black last night and he was talking about his wife peeing on him all the time. He said he'd play that after playing more of this guy. Howard played more of Chrisco talking about his spiritual beliefs and why he was doing that. Howard said the smell in those things is disgusting. He said that if someone has taken a dump in there it's just over. He said that they don't work properly either. He said there's always pee all over the place.
Howard played some of Black on Black where King of All Blacks was talking about his wife peeing on him. King said his wife doesn't enjoy it like she used to. King said they went out for drinks and came home and did this pee thing. He said he had plastic on the bed so he wouldn't screw up the bed. King said he didn't want to screw up the Sterns and Foster bed. Howard said he likes how he knows what kind of bed he has and the size of it which was ''California King.'' Howard said this is an amazing show. You really should tune in.
Howard played more of the clip and King was talking about how he tells his girl that he's into things like that. He said you just ask the girl if she's into anything freaky. Howard said King reminds him of this guy in Crocodile Dundee who tells Dundee that he has to talk like that to keep his street cred.
King was telling big Black about how his wife will tell him she has to pee and that makes him horny. King said he wishes that he was a toilet. Howard said he gets worked up about that stuff. He said he thinks he's into it and he's not sure how he can stand it. Howard said he could never do that with Beth. She'd never do that with him. Howard said he's not sure what this guy is up to.
Robin said after this and the furry convention maybe Howard should wonder why he's not into this kind of stuff. Howard said Sal is into this kind of thing. He said Sal likes when guys pee on girls. He said he even wrote a song about it. Howard played Sal's ''I Pissed On a Girl'' song. He said he should be arrested for that. Howard said Sal is the kind of guy who would sew people's mouths to other people's assholes like in Human Centipede.
Howard played more of King and Big Black talking about the pee thing. King told Big Black that he does the pee thing and then cleans up so they can have sex.
Howard said he heard King and Big talking about how they're against gay marriage. He said Wolfie went out and talked to some guys about that and he's always surprised by that. He said you'd think that black people would understand the dilemma that gay people go through. Robin said they don't know what Howard thinks they know. Robin said one of the most disappointing thing about the civil rights movement is that they were only going after the rights for a certain group.
Howard said he loves that a guy who gets pissed on is against gay marriage. He played more of the Black on Black show where King and Big Black talked about why they're against it. King said he's for civil unions for gay people but not for marriage. King said he's not ready for that. Big Black said he didn't think it was right either.
Howard said Wolfie was interviewing some guys about it and they were upset about it too. Howard played some of those interviews. One guy told Wolfie that it's in the book of scriptures that it's not right. Howard said it's a whole religious thing. Wolfie asked another guy about the gay marriage bill and he said he doesn't dig that stuff. He said they can do what they want when they're gay but they don't play that. Another guy said that he was angered by the bill. He said that the nation was built on religion and it's not about Adam and Steve. Howard said he's sick of hearing that Adam and Steve thing.
Howard took a call from Melrose Larry Green. He said the pissing thing is very common. He said that he admits that he's done this. He said he has not gone into a port-a-potty but he has heard that Johnny Carson and Danny Thomas both liked to be shit on. Howard said Johnny would shit on every comedian by judging them on TV. He said that he gets that. He said he doesn't get Danny Thomas though. Howard thanked Melrose for the call.
Howard said he doesn't get the shitting thing. He said you have to be a depraved monster to get off on that. Howard wondered who has so much free time to put plastic down on a bed to keep the pee off of it. Howard said he likes sex because it's so great and it doesn't take up your whole day. He said peeing must take up the whole day cleaning up and all of that.
Howard said the shitting thing is so angry. He said that you must really hate yourself if you have someone shit on you.
Howard played one from cowboy Jeff called ''I Can See Titties Now.'' Howard played that one and then got Evil Dave on the line. He said he hasn't been allowed on the show in years. Howard got Dave on the ISDN line and said hi to him.
Howard said that there's so much to talk about. He asked Dave what he had to say. He was making it out as if Dave was really David Letterman and said that he can't say some things on his late night show so he says them there. Dave asked Howard if Kathy Griffin showed him her penis the last time she was on the how.
Howard said Dave is a freak. He said that he thought he was A-sexual but then the whole intern thing came out. Dave asked why they help people with Alzheimers if they don't know they need help. Dave said ''Alt-heimers'' so Howard goofed on him about that.
Howard asked Dave to tell them something about himself that the audience doesn't know. Dave said he's a member of God Hates Fags and he only joined because they have a good group auto insurance policy.
Howard asked Dave to tell them some other things. He had to tell him to read the lines they wrote for him. Dave was making up his own stuff. Dave said he's known as InternFucker on Twitter. He said he's also become a real foody since the whole intern thing went down. Howard asked if he could hang in there for the commercial break. Dave said he can.
Dave asked if Robin is in her bullet proof go-go cage. Howard said she sure is. Howard asked Dave if he knew anything about this Anthony Weiner case. Dave said that he must be making a paper swan in his oragami class in rehab. Howard said he had to take another break but he was in the middle of Robin's song parodies.
Howard asked Dave about not beating Jay Leno in the late night wars. Dave asked Howard a question but Howard didn't go along with it since he screwed it up.
Howard got back to Robin's song parodies. He played Eli Braden's ''Robin's Massive Rack'' song. Howard said Dave is a big fan of Richard and Sal's and he loves the show. Dave said that to show his love he takes his interns up to a couch and fucks them. He said he wants a black guy to hold him down and rape him too.
Howard said Dave has been following his whole Tracy Morgan thing. Dave said that really upsets him. He said he told his son Harry that if he ever turns homo he's going to give him a big, deep kiss. Dave said that the guy who tried to blackmail him wrote a great script and he's going to be making the movie.
Howard said so much has happened since he was last on the show. He told him about Robin going to Peru. Dave told her to send him her trip information. Dave said he's always wanted to trip his balls off while young boys rub his body with rocks.
Howard said it was great having Dave on the show again. He said he came out of the box pretty strong today. Dave said he has a job for Anthony Weiner. He said that he can fill every hole on his body with his hot load.
Dave said that Prince William looks just like his mother... after the accident. Howard asked Fred if he had a drum clip he could play after those jokes. Fred said he could do that.
Dave said that Sarah Palin had better quit it before he Chris Brown's her ass. Dave also said that Anthony Weiner is not fully erect in his pictures... at least not the way he pictures him taking him from behind. Fred played the clip from Letterman where the bass player makes that ''Bwaaawwww'' sound when Dave makes a goofy joke.
Dave told Howard to send him pictures of his interns. He said he loves having sex with interns. Howard said he's proud of Dave stopping all of that. He said he didn't even have to go to rehab. Howard said Dave isn't going to rehab. Howard said he loves having Dave there. He said he had to take a break after that.
Howard got back to Evil Dave who was saying he just got an underwear boner pic sent to him from Paul Shaffer. Howard said that Fred had said it was great to hear from Dave again. Dave said his fantasy is to jerk off into Fred's headphones before he puts them back on his head.
Howard said Dave hasn't been on for quite a while but he's back now. Dave said he loves those two enormously fat boobs... and he's not talking about Robin. He said he was talking about Jon Hein and Jason.
Howard asked Dave about the Arnold Schwarzenegger thing and what he thinks about that. Dave joked about that. He also asked if the Baba Booey book tour is over because The Who doesn't even tour as much as him.
Howard said Dave knows everyone on the show. Dave said he has a rape fantasy about Evan the engineer. Howard said not that many people know who Evan is so Dave must be a fan.
Dave said that Anton Fig's drum sticks always smell like Paul Shaffer's ass. He said he needed something to pry Lisa G's legs apart for their date.
Dave said that he hates Jason's laugh. Howard said Dave is up to a lot of hijinks and he should get started with a hobby like he has with photography. Dave asked Howard how he keeps his nose out of the shots. He also said that he was out to dinner with Leslie West and the drummer from Def Leppard and the dinner cost him an arm and a leg. Howard said that's not funny.
Howard thanked Dave for being on the show today. He said everyone missed him. Dave tried making a joke about Sal's pouch and how his wife's saliva wasn't in there. He said saliva wrong and had to correct himself.
Howard asked Dave how being a father is. Dave said it's tough. He said that he gets Casey Anthony and why she did what she did.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if he would like to take pictures of Beth for Playboy. Howard said no. Dave asked if he wanted him to take the pictures. Speech asked Howard if he would rather get shit, pissed or vomited on. Howard didn't have an answer for him.
Dave said that his production company is working on a remake of Cheers and they want Jason to take Kirstie Ally's part.
Mark in Boston called in and asked Dave if he has any intern advice for Ronnie. Howard said Dave is very confused this morning and he's not sure he has any advice.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Dave where he's been hiding. Dave didn't have an answer. Howard said Dave has been in hiding but his wife is away so he was able to come on. Howard asked what's going to happen if his wife finds out he was on the show. Howard was serious. He wanted to know. Dave just said ''I don't know...''
Howard asked Dave what he's going to do when the people at CBS find out what he's been up to. Dave said he woke up with clown lips this morning and he has to learn to not go down on women when they're on their periods.
Dave told a couple of jokes that they couldn't follow. Dave was misreading some of the words in his script. Howard said he was going to wrap this up and let Dave off the hook. He asked if he had anything to say to the rest of the crew. Dave said he likes looking at Gary's lips because they remind him of a woman's vagina after a good ramming.
Dave said that he would like people to get their pets spayed and neutered. He said that he likes being able to fuck his pets without worrying about knocking them up.
Howard said he hopes that Dave's wife doesn't find out he was on the show. Howard told him he did a great job today.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can get Dave's IQ tested. Howard asked Dave if they can do that. Dave said he can't even read a chart.
Howard took another call from a guy who congratulated Dave on his career. The caller asked if he thinks Ronnie wants to fuck interns like he did. Dave said he can't answer that. That's serious business.
Dave said that he heard Steve Langford has a huge penis. He said he has a fist full of cash and a gaping asshole. Howard thanked Dave for the call and let him go.
Howard said it was great to hear Dave again. Robin said that he sounded kind of rusty. Howard said he liked hearing from him. He said he thinks his wife really was out of town. They were very lucky. He said all of the jokes were great but Dave didn't get them all out very well.
Howard said he got some email about his discussion about evolution. He read some of the email and how some strains of bacteria have evolved and are resistant to treatments. Howard read some more about his going off on Glenn Beck yesterday. Some of the listeners liked that he went off on him the way he did.
Howard said Beck was saying that he has never seen a half man half monkey. He said that kind of nonsense makes you want to jump out a window.
Howard said everyone wrote in about Nadya Suleman. He said that some people liked her and some didn't. He read a bunch of those quick notes about her nuttiness.
Howard read some email about Richard and Sal's new prank call. He played that call where Richard rambled off a bunch of real estate terms when he called into a talk show about real estate after spending a couple of minutes talking about the web cam he was watching.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said all of the fans have to see the World's Strongest Naked Women contest on Howard TV. He said he wasn't able to take his eyes off of Stoya. Howard said that show is the most highly watched show. He said that they have a new Behind the Scenes show too. He had Doug give a rundown of what they have in that special. Doug said they go behind the scenes with George Takei, David Arquette and Robin.
Bobo said after the segment was over that chick Stoya went to the pull up bar and she opened up her legs real wide. Howard said Will did say something about her to him. He said ''How about that Stoya...'' Howard was going to let Bobo go but Bobo asked about the dating game they were going to do with Robin. Howard said they have no money for that. He said they'll get to it one day. He said that Robin is going to be meeting King of All Blacks cousin when they get back from vacation so she might be off the market after that.
Howard read some more email and had some comments about the Michele Bachman clip they played. Howard said if you're a politician you should come clean and admit you made a mistake when you're wrong. He said she's still explaining that she's right.
Howard said he had more of Robin's song parodies. He said they must have 50 of them. Howard played Little Mikey's ''I'm Gonna Think of Your G Cups'' and ''Lips Around My Pole.'' Howard played Psych's ''Smaackity Smack'' too.
Howard said this is upsetting. He Casey Anthony is hot and every guy is saying they should be fucking her. Howard said she's gorgeous and you think that when you're good looking you don't have any problems in your life. Howard said it's great to see a good looking person go down. Howard said if she was 500 pounds and ugly no one would be paying attention. Howard said the really upsetting thing is that Casey wanted to do this show. Howard said that came out during the trial. He played a clip where this guy was talking about how she wanted to go on the show to raise money to find her daughter. Howard said they should make her a Miss Howard TV before she goes off to jail. Howard said it would have been great to have her in a bikini as a Miss Howard TV.
Howard said he was asked by Chris Booker to do a commissioned photo for him. He said Chris doesn't know that he's already done that for him. He said he can be commissioned to do some things for people.
Robin said she might have something for him to do but she didn't want to mention it on the air. Howard asked what it was. Robin said she will tell him off the air. Howard said he doesn't want to do a whole study. Robin said he'll want to do this. Howard asked what it was. Robin said she wants him to get in touch with people he knows and take pictures of their desks. Howard said if there's something she wants a picture of he'll do it. He isn't interested in the desk thing. He said he's not going to do a whole study.
Gary said he has a picture of Bill Clinton's desk. He also said he has one of Howard's photographs hanging in his house. He said that Howard took a shot of him on th Wrap UP Show and it's hanging in his house now. Robin said she didn't know that he had his camera at work. Howard said he has a good one of Sal and Richard too. Robin said he should burn it. Howard said that's what Beth said too. He said he was just kidding about that.
Howard said he could do a study about celebrity toilets. He can start with his own. He said that he's been asked to Tweet a shot of that toilet but it's not that interesting.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon mentioned Ronnie and the intern. Howard asked Jon what he thinks about that. Jon said he thinks it's an odd request. Howard said he heard that Ronnie asked one of the interns to be a dog sitter and he found it strange that he said he knew her when he's only known her for 3 weeks.
Howard said that Ronnie accuses him of using interns but he's using them for work. Howard said this is to take care of his dog. Howard said Ronnie doesn't know this girl that well. Ronnie came in and said he didn't say he knows her well. He just said from what he knows of her, he thinks she likes dogs. Howard said he doesn't know that. Ronnie said it's a nothing thing to him. Howard said it's an intern and he's too involved. He said he's always involved with the interns. Ronnie said he doesn't understand why he finds it odd.
Jon said that this girl is going to be in his house overnight. Ronnie said that there is no one else that he knows who can do this. he's going away over night and he needs someone to watch the dog for one night. He said this isn't a big deal. Ronnie said the girl seems reliable and trustworthy. He said he would rather have her than someone from the neighborhood in the house.
Howard said the inappropriate thing is that she's a student who comes there to learn. He said a teacher would never ask a student to house sit. He said it's against the rules. He said you don't offer to pay the students to do something for you. Ronnie said he's not her teacher. Howard said this place is for the interns to learn at. He said that they are students and that's the way he looks at them.
Howard said he thinks that he's okay with this. Robin said it's not the worst offense he's committed. Howard said that it's weird that it's a girl. Ronnie said he just thought she would care for the dog after hearing some of the things she's said about dogs.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is a sucker. He said that everyone feels the same way about Ronnie. He said he can't have him as a limo driver and security. He said he can't be both. Howard said he likes him as a driver. Howard said he thinks he can do both but maybe the caller is right. Ronnie said it's up to Howard. Howard said maybe the caller is jealous of him.
Howard said that these celebrities make it and everyone tries to bring them down. Ronnie said that's what they call assholes. He said he doesn't use the word ''hater'' anymore. Ronnie said this caller isn't so bad. He said he's just giving an opinion. Howard asked the caller if he follows Ronnie on Twitter. The caller said he does not. Howard asked Ronnie if he puts links up with the Hot Chick of the Week he puts up. Ronnie said he doesn't need to. He said you just click on their name and click on their picture and it blows up.
The caller brought up the Casey Anthony thing again. Howard talked about how he thinks that she's going to end up in jail for life. They went over the details they knew about the case and spent a few minutes talking about that. Howard said he cant imagine they putting her to death.
Another caller said he thinks that they need to smell Ronnie's fingers. He said they probably smell like cotton candy. He said he likes to chase those young women. Howard asked if his fingers smell like cotton candy. Ronnie said they don't. Ronnie said this guy isn't that bad either.
Jon got back to his rundown for the show and mentioned Evil Dave and his many screw ups during the bit and a few other things. Howard asked Fred if they had to take a break Fred said he can if he likes. Howard said he doesn't like taking breaks. He said he needs to know if he needs to take one. Fred said they should. They went to brake a short time later.
Howard and Ralph talked about the King of All Blacks stuff they were talking about earlier. Howard said Ralph does some strange stuff. He takes pictures of girl's feet on the subway. Ralph said he was just doing a study. He said Robin asked him to do that study. Howard said he would never take pictures of someone's feet.
Fred played Robin into her news with a ''Sit On My Face'' song parody from Psych. Robin started her news with a story about how the producers don't know if Jennifer Lopez is coming back to American Idol. Howard said she will come back. Robin said they should just sign someone else. She's not that important to the show. Robin said she got sick of her performing every week. Howard said he would pick Casey Anthony to replace her. He said she must know about music since she's at clubs dancing while her child is missing. Robin said that Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler have re-signed to come back. Howard said he would love to know what Joe Perry thinks about that.
Robin said that Rolling Stone is going to have Bruce Springsteen's eulogy for Clarence Clemons. Howard said he's really letting people inside. Robin read about what the eulogy says.
Robin read about The Voice finale and what happened with that. Howard said he didn't think the winner should have won. Howard liked someone else. He said the girl should have won. He said the girl who shaves her head should be locked up. He said he doesn't know what that look is. Robin had some audio from the show. She and Howard were arguing about who was good on the show for a couple of minutes. They played some audio of Stevie Nicks singing ''Landslide'' on the show. They also had some of Pat Monahan singing.
Robin read about a 19 year old kid who was stabbed after graduation. The kid's father got into an argument with a parking garage attendant over a missing bottle of cologne. That led to the kid being stabbed. Robin had some audio of the kid's coach talking about the loss of their star player.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would pay the fees for a Hollywood star if he was offered one. Howard asked if he was nuts. Howard said he's not going to pay for that. He said he would feel like the most pathetic person on the planet if he had to pay for his own star. He said these guys are all smiles when they get a star but they have to pay for them. Howard said of course he wouldn't do that. He said he thinks he's been asked to do that but he won't do it. He said the people who deserve the walk of fame are soldiers. He said Team Six needs a star.
Robin read a story about diet soda causing people to get fat. Robin said it could lead to high blood sugar or low insulin. Howard said it kills him that his show is too dirty for soda makers. Robin said that they say diet soda users have a bigger chance of weight gain than others according to a study that was done. Howard said he loves this because the soda companies think he's a scum bag. He said they have this attitude like they're wholesome and he's not. Howard asked how they sleep at night passing out sugar water to people.
King of All Blacks called in and said he's not into the shitting part. He said he likes the peeing. He just wanted to clear that up. Howard thanked him for clearing that up and let him go.
Robin read about a case where this woman saw a body with the hand cut off of it when she went into the guy's apartment. Robin had some audio of the woman's testimony that was very hard to understand. Robin had to tell Howard what she was saying. Howard wondered why the guy would let the woman go if she saw the dead body. Robin said he apparently didn't have any plans to kill her.
Robin read some news about the Casey Anthony case and how they're planning on wrapping that up today. Robin said that she's on trial for the death of her 2 year old daughter. Robin said her father was on the stand yesterday talking about his own thoughts of suicide.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he and his buddies are trying to get into the trial. He said there are a lot of people who get in there but they haven't been able to get in. He said they wanted to get in and yell out Baba Booey or Howard Stern's penis or something. Howard thanked him for the call.
Robin read some more details about the Casey Anthony case and how they don't expect a break during the Fourth of July vacation week.
Robin read about Shia LaBeouf and the comment he made about sleeping with Megan Fox. He's apologizing for it but not taking it back. Megan Fox's people have no comment.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard has seen Celebrity Rehab yet. Howard said he hasn't seen it yet but he's wondering who the hot chick is going to be on this season. The guy said they have Bai Ling and this chick Sugar who will be on. Howard said they always have at least one hot chick in there. Howard talked about some of the hard core addicts they've had on the show and how a couple of them have died. Howard said Jeff Conaway and Michael Starr both died.
Robin read about President Obama talking about the budget and the debt ceiling in a press conference yesterday. Howard said there is no gain from holding those press conferences. Robin had some audio of Obama using his daughters as an example and he said that one of his kids was 13 but she's really only 12. Robin said the daughter turns 13 on July 4th. Howard said his kids get very angry if he screws up something like that. You can't get it wrong. Robin had Howard play some more of the Obama clips. Howard and Robin spent a couple of minutes going over some of the things Obama was talking about.
Howard got the four songs from The Voice. He played one from Javier and said that was a bad song. He said it didn't get any better as it went along. Then he played the bald chick's song. He said that it sounded like something from an 80s concert. He said she has a nice voice but the song was bad. Robin said that was awful. Then Howard played Vicky's song. He said that was terrible too. Howard played the final song and said that this one should have won even though it was a shitty song too. He said she's hot at least. He said she should wear heels instead of flats. He said she was breathing too heavy into the microphone too. He said it was kind of annoying. He said maybe she has a chest cold. He said her coach should have told her not to hold the mic so tight.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about President Obama coming close to saying something good about gay marriage. Robin had some audio of him talking at that event. He made a reference to gay people in the military. Robin said he won't come out and say gay marriage is something he'll support. He said the New York thing was good though.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what happens to the stars on the Hollywood Walk OF Fame when the star dies. Howard said he's not sure how it all works. He said he knows there are fees but he's not sure how it works when you die. He said he may not know what he's talking about at all when it comes to that. Howard said if you have to have a star then you're pretty pathetic. Robin said a lot of people want them. Howard said he'd feel like a retard, or very slow person, if he had one.
Robin read a story about Newsweek catching some flack over the digitally edited photo on the cover of the latest issue. Robin had some audio of a British guy talking about the picture. They had aged her in the photo and that's what they're upset about. Howard said he was thinking about what a dumb way to die that was. He said racing away from the Paparazzi is dumb. He said he'd just let people take his picture. Howard said she had nothing better to do. He said she was just a figure head. That led to Fred playing the Red Peters ''Diana'' song.
Robin read about Annie Lennox getting her OBE which is like a knighthood for ladies. Robin said they say that she met with the Queen on Tuesday to accept the honor. Howard said he thought Annie was cooler than that to want something like that.
Robin read about a 3 year old girl who was hospitalized after the grandfather ran over her with a riding mower. Howard said that happened to him too, just look at his face. Robin read about how the guy ran over her not knowing that she had run out to say hi to him.
Robin read about the woman who had her adult diaper taken off at the TSA checkpoint in the airport. Robin had some audio of a congressman who came out and said that they should treat someone like that with dignity. Howard said it won't be long before the Al Queda types figure out that they can strap bombs to kids or in an adult diaper. Howard said that he's all for checking them. Howard said he applauds their investigation of the diapers. He wants everyone investigated. Robin said the family was upset that they kept them tied up so long and they had to take the diaper off to get through security fast enough to make their flight.
Robin said she has to get Steve Martin's new banjo album. She said she has to hear everything he does. Howard said he loves Steve but he won't go that far. Robin said he wrote a song about Paul Revere and it's an historical account of what he did during the revolution. Robin said he does that in concert every time. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck about the banjo. He said he'd go to a comedy concert but not a banjo concert. He said Steve is brilliant with stand-up. He said his Tweets are brilliant too. He said he won't listen to that music though.
Robin read about how Justin Timberlake is going to be bringing his talents to Myspace. Robin had some comments that he made about doing that. Justin thinks that he'll be able to help with the new group that's taking over the company.
Robin read about David Duchovny and Tea Leoni breaking up. Robin said this is the second time they've broken up.
Robin read about how Courtney Love has broken up with her boyfriend. Howard said he had no idea she had a boyfriend. Robin said Courtney moved very fast and moved in with him about a month after meeting this guy in England.
Robin read about Julia Roberts being in the new ''Larry Crown'' movie. She had some audio of Julia talking about working with Tom Hanks. Howard played about 5 seconds of that and then ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Ronnie and the intern. He said Ronnie doesn't seem to see what others are seeing with this whole thing. Jon said that they have this business kind of relationship that shouldn't cross over to his home.
Gary said that Ronnie is the head of security and having him friends with an intern is already weird enough. He said the girl who is going to be at Ronnie's house seems very nice. He said that her name is Rose. Gary said that he doesn't know her that well and he's only known her for 3 weeks. He said when someone comes to work for them they're usually a fan of the show. He wouldn't want a fan staying at his house. Gary said Ronnie said he was just kidding about the whole thing today when he got upset but he doesn't think he really was.
Jon asked if a male intern doing the same thing would become an issue. Gary said probably not. He said that's just the world they live in. Gary said they had an intern that everyone loved and he had an intern at a party and he may have stolen a baseball from John's house. He said the guy was the greatest intern in the world for a couple of weeks.
Gary said they had a male intern there who said he was a male nanny and he kept asking to baby sit his kids. He said he didn't want to let him do that because he didn't know the guy. Gary said he doesn't really dig the idea of a male nanny to begin with.
Jon asked how Ronnie gets into these situations to begin with. Gary said Ronnie hears what Howard says but he doesn't seem to believe it. Gary said it's not ''wrong'' but Ronnie doesn't see the pitfalls that can come from all of this.
Will came in and said that it's always a grey line when they do this stuff. He said they ask them to go out and buy things for them and things like that. He said it's all kind of questionable. Will said they have used interns for personal use before. Gary said he used to feel bad when he would ask an intern to get him lunch. He said he has to do that to get his work done though so he doesn't feel so bad when he thinks about it.
Gary said that there's an age thing going on too. He said Will is 33 and he thinks about him hanging out with a 25 year old intern. He said that's not the same as a 63 year old hanging out with a 25 year old. Benjy said that he finds it silly that Stuttering John had the interns over to his party. He said he wouldn't have underage kids to a party like that.
Jon said that Ronnie doesn't see why there would be an issue with it. Gary said Benjy was right and there's no reason to open up the whole thing where there could be an issue. Benjy said even a former intern would be fine.
Jon said Ronnie said there's no one else who can do this but Steve Brandano said he would do it. Steve said Ronnie didn't ask but he probably would have done it. He said Ronnie didn't ask though so he won't be doing it. Steve said it sounds like Ronnie wasn't even asking around. He just heard how Rose felt about dogs and asked her to do it.
Benjy wondered what she's being paid to do it. Gary was wondering the same thing. Steve said they asked her and she didn't even know. Gary said he's guessing $175 to $200. Jon said he figures $100.
Benjy said that he gets why Ronnie would trust her more than a neighbor. Jon didn't get that. He said that he's only known her for 3 weeks. Benjy said you can get to know someone pretty well in 3 weeks. Gary disagreed. Will said he wanted to do a bit where they lined up 3 cute girls and Ronnie had to pick out the criminal.
Gary said they had an intern arrested once at the show. He was stealing from Stuttering John and the cops showed up and arrested the guy.
Gary said that Rose has put herself in a bad position now because if she comes back and gives one piece of information about him, Ronnie is going to be all over her. He said anything she says could open up the door for him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Ronnie is an idiot. He's asking a fan to come to his house and root through all of his shit. He said he seems to like the attention of young girls and that's what this is all about. He said Ronnie just can't stop himself from young women. Gary said he thinks that his intentions are good but this is a can of worms that doesn't need to be opened.
Benjy asked if Gary would rather have a 20 year old woman or a 20 year old guy at his house. Gary said he'd probably pick the girl but it all depends on the person.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he agrees that this is just not worth the hassle. He said that he was an intern once and this could turn very awkward and weird.
Gary said they did a show for FOX once and this assistant that worked there had full access to her boss's house and she had to do all kinds of things at his house. He said that's not why you get in the business though.
Jon asked Gary why Ronnie was laughing out at him. Gary said he thinks that Ronnie thought he tipped someone off and that's how it got on the intern show. Gary said he didn't say a word to anyone about it. He said Steve found out about it from a caller. Steve said he didn't think there was any way that was going to happen but Lisa G did a news story about it. Gary said Ronnie must have thought he passed the story along but he didn't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he gets why Ronnie doesn't want the neighbors knowing he's not home. He doesn't like doing that himself. He said that Ronnie has a way of making himself look bad even if he's not doing anything wrong. He said Howard just cares about the appearance and Ronnie doesn't get that.
Jon asked the guys if they think that people abuse the interns in a way. Will said there was a fight in the office about being used for things that weren't work related. Gary said that started at the Inty Awards and they talked about how Jared and Tim were sending them out on errands that they didn't like so that turned into an argument between Steve and Jared. Steve said some of the interns were saying they weren't learning by running around doing the errands. Steve didn't want to say what some of the errands were because he's not sure that it should be on the air. Jon said Jared can come down if he wants to talk about it.
They got Nick in there so Gary asked what's going on between him and Howard. Nick said he's not sure where it all began. He said he got the job on America's Got Talent and Howard wondered who this hip hop kid was on the show. He said he let that slide when Howard said a few things. Then he got the job at K-Rock and Howard said he would never do good and Howard was getting too disrespectful about his wife. He said it got personal. He said he was a fan of Howard's and he wasn't sure what that was about. He said Howard said something about his wife's weight so he started saying stuff back.
Gary said he knows that he likes to tweet too. Nick said he likes to piss everyone off. He said he listens to Howard and the Wrap Up Show and he knows it's entertainment. He said that he still has a beef with him. He said Howard has to respect the young man.
Gary asked if he would come on and talk to Howard. Nick said he knows they tried to get him on the show and he would have called in the past. He said he's not sure he would want to come in an play on their territory.
Gary said he should come in and he thinks that it's an easier conversation when you're talking eye to eye. Nick said it's still on their territory. He said he loves Howard and he can't have him talking about his wife. Nick said he doesn't want to punch an old man. That wouldn't be good for anyone.
Nick said Howard said something about how his show won't succeed unless he talks about his wife giving him a blow job or something like that. Benjy said that seems like a joke though. Nick said he knows it's not a joke. He said he was saying it during a conversation.
Nick said there were some other personal things about his wife (Mariah Carey) that Howard said. He said he would never go there with his wife. Nick said you don't talk about another man's wife and family.
Gary asked Nick what he's doing up there. Nick said he's there to do his thing at Coney Island. He said he's got his own radio show and this year he's cooking hot dogs and not participating in the contest.
Gary said one of Howard's issues with him is about how hard it is to get into radio. Nick said he has learned how hard it is. He said he knew morning radio was intense and he tried to prepare to do it and now he loves doing it.
Nick said he knows that Gary was wondering why he does morning radio. He said he does it because he loves it. He said he loves entertaining people. Nick said that he likes going to comedy clubs and doing shows at 3 in the morning. He said he barely sleeps because of that but he loves entertaining. He loves doing America's Got Talent too.
Gary thanked Nick for coming in and told him to come in and do Howard's show sometime. Nick said he'll do that next time he has something to promote and he can work it out.
Jon moved on to talk about Evil Dave and how they haven't heard from him in a long time. Will said that he's been under house arrest. Gary said that he's been unable to work with them and today was a small window that they had for him to get on the show.
Jon said that Dave had his lines and banged through them. Gary said he didn't bang through them, that's what's great. Gary said that they tell him to stay on task but he likes to go his own way. That's what's great about having him on.
Jon asked Will how they were working with him. Jon said that they had a producer working with him and he told them that Dave had his own jokes. Will said that he told him not to let him use it. Gary said they've told him not to use his own stuff and he insists on doing it every time he's on.
Will said that Dave did really well today. He said they might have to do it via ISDN every time now. Jon asked if they were taking the jokes personally today. Gary said JD did. Gary said he didn't like the joke about him being the size of an elephant.
Jon said that Evan the engineer was working on trying to fix what happened with Fred's bit when the joke came out about him. Gary said that they can see that all of Fred's things were put in yesterday and then they disappeared this morning around 5:29am. He said that they thought JD had removed them but then they figured out it wasn't him. Gary said that Scott may have hit the wrong button but they're really not sure. He said there is a time it happened and it was around 4:40 this morning. It had to be JD, Scott or his intern. Gary said that's just a theory though.
Scott came in and said it is possible. He said he looked at the log this morning and it was automatically deleted this morning and the end date may have been changed to the wrong date. He said he didn't change it manually himself.
Jon asked Scott if he tried to talk Ronnie out of having Rose watch his dog. Scott said he doesn't get involved. He said he wouldn't tell him not to. He said he wouldn't do that himself though. Scott said especially an intern that he doesn't know.
Jon asked if Ronnie is in the wrong. Scott said he's not sure but he knows that he's in a bind. Will laughed and said it's funny that he's talking about inappropriate behavior. Scott also said that Rose is only 19.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked who watched the dog when Ronnie did the other gigs. Scott said Ronnie's girlfriend watched but this time the girlfriend is going with him so she won't be around.
Jon asked Scott what he's doing this weekend. He's going to be DJ'ing with DJ Hollywood down in Atlantic City. He's also hosting a beauty contest.
Benjy asked who is the more dominant one in charge. Scott said that DJ Hollywood runs the whole show. He said he and Ronnie are hosting the contest that they're judging. He said Ronnie will be there at the beginning. Gary asked if Ronnie even needs to be there. Scott said that they did ask him to bring Ronnie along and he does need to be there.
Jon and Scott talked about the gig for a couple of minutes and how it's all going to work. Scott said they'll be picked up in a limo and they'll have a good time when they get there. He said they get some promotion out of it at Harrah's. Will didn't think it would be that much promotion though.
Jon asked the guys what they thought about the Wolfie interviews and how people were blaming the racist stuff on the Philly fans. Will said he doesn't think it's the Philly area. He said a lot of people are racist, not just Philly people. They spent a minute on that and then ended the show.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 10:20am.