|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show saying good morning a bunch of times in different ways. That made Robin laugh. Howard thanked Robin for giving him something to talk about. He said he saw that she was thinking of leaving the show. He said it got blown out of proportion because they said she wanted to do her own show but that doesn't mean she'd leave this show. Robin said she's been looking for another show for a long time now and she wasn't thinking of leaving. Howard said Robin wants a show where she can do her own thing. He said she wants to show a different side of herself. People thought she wanted to leave. Howard laughed.
Robin said she was out in Napa this weekend and it went great. She said she didn't know anything about the headline but Steve Langford was out there and he knew about it. She said Steve said he thought it was going to be a quiet morning until he read that article.
Howard said it really doesn't matter in the face of the whole Osama bin Laden thing. He said he'd get mad if the news team wasn't reporting on them though. Howard played a clip from a news report where they said Robin is thinking of going out on her own. Howard said he guesses Robin can't do both. He said he knew what Robin said and he supports her in that. He said he'd love to see her doing her own show. Howard said they spun that story in a weird way.
Robin said Steve only read the headline and not the article. Howard played another news report where they talked about that article and spread the lie. The sports guy segued into his thing using a ''quivering'' joke referring to Robin's last name.
Howard said that Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey gave birth to their twins. Howard said they named one of the kids Moroccan. Howard said that was weird too and he tried to figure out what they were thinking. They spent a couple of minutes pondering the thought process there. Howard said he knows that he's odd and he's pointing out something someone else is doing that's odd.
Howard said they have a picture of Ronnie up on the web site to show that weird moustache he has. Howard said everyone tells him it's weird but he can't shave it off now. He said he thinks he's just keeping it for the hell of it at this point. Howard said Sal and Richard went out and showed a picture of him to some women on the street. The women were commenting on it saying it wasn't a party and it looked weird. One woman said it was like a mullet in moustache form. Another woman said he looks like a general from the Civil War. Another one said he looked like he could be a child molester. Howard got some laughs out of that.
Howard said Ronnie is trying to pass JD in his Twitter followers and JD isn't keen on that. Howard said Ronnie screwed up his Twitter account this morning. He said he somehow tweeted out requests for pictures of hot guys instead of girls. He said he was trying to be funny but it didn't come out funny. Howard said he's not sure how he fucked that up. JD came in and said that Ronnie Tweeted out the wrong person and he said he needed more hot pictures like that.
Howard asked why Ronnie is getting so many more followers. JD said he's been on a lot more and he's more interesting so that must be why he's getting so many followers on there. JD said he thinks that fact that Ronnie got the ''verified'' thing helped too.
Howard said when Biz Stone was there JD blew the chance to get verified. He lost to Ronnie. Howard told JD to grow a big moustache like Ronnie's. Howard said they had the picture Tweeted out @sternshow
Howard said JD has gotten fat lately. He said a lot of people are noticing that. Robin asked if he's on medication. Howard said he must be because he's very easy to understand lately.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was disappointed in the 3 day week thing. He didn't know that ''flexible schedule'' meant one less day. Howard said today will be 4 days so don't worry about it.
Howard played some more of the interviews Sal and Richard did with women on the street about Ronnie's moustache. None of the women were liking it. They were saying that he looked angry and not friendly. Howard said he used to tell Ronnie that. He comes off angry. Howard said Ronnie says ''I do not!'' Robin said you can't tell Ronnie anything. She said he just has to argue. Ronnie said he isn't arguing, he just doesn't care.
Howard played more of the interviews and women were saying he looked like he was dirty and like a serial killer. There were women guessing he was 75 or 80 years old. They showed a picture of his girlfriend too and got some comments on that. Ronnie said Sal sounds very angry in those clips.
Howard had some audio of Sal and Richard asking some guys about the moustache too. They had one guy saying that it looked like he had put glue around his mouth and had gotten the hair when he put his mouth on some guy's asshole.
Sal and Richard asked people what they thought of Ronnie and his girlfriend Stephanie in a picture. They found it odd that an older guy was dating such a young woman.
Howard told JD to tell Ronnie what he did on Twitter. JD came in and told Ronnie that he messed up the name and it's some guy he Tweeted out this morning. Ronnie said he didn't screw it up. It was the guys who were screwing it up. They were just clicking on his link but Ronnie said that's not right. He said they're the ones who screwed it up, not him. Ronnie kept telling them that they were putting up the wrong thing but they were just clicking on his link.
Howard said they were using Ronnie's link. They kept clicking on it and it kept coming up. Ronnie said he didn't screw it up. He said he'd show them on his phone.
Ronnie said he must have screwed up that tweet. He said he put up a big O for the link but maybe it was a zero. He told the guys to put that up if that's what he did. Howard said it's too late, he put up the wrong name already. Ronnie said they knew what he meant. He said he will retweet. Robin said she wishes they hadn't told him for a day or so. Robin said Ronnie is the guy who said he's into meeting girls and into meeting guys.
King of All Blacks called in laughing at Ronnie. He said Ronnie was taking about getting back to the grind and complaining about Monday's. Ronnie said Monday's do suck. Howard said King was trying to goof on him but he was just doing that to goof on him. Ronnie said he was saying he was getting back to the lion's den, not back to the grind. Howard said sitting in a limo all day isn't that easy. He said Ronnie does put in a long day.
King said he wishes he could see Ronnie so he could see what he was wearing. Ronnie said at least he buys his clothes with his own money and not his daddy's money. He said that's the money he uses to buy that stuff. King wondered where the anger was coming from and said that his dad likes to give him money.
Howard asked King how his father is doing now that his mom died. King said he's in the hospital too and he's doing better. King said he's trying to keep his mind off of the whole thing. Ronnie said he'll hook him up and told him to have him come hang out with him. King said his dad is a good guy. Howard said he met him somewhere and he did seem like a good guy.
Howard asked King when his funeral was. King said it was like a week and a half ago. King asked why he kept bringing it up. Ronnie said he was at the cemetery yesterday and he knows how tough that can be. Ronnie said he went to see his mother at the cemetery. He said he sat on a bench and looked at the sky for a while. He said it was nice and peaceful.
Ronnie said he went to a wake on Saturday and they had an open casket. Howard said it's weird because Jews keep the casket closed. Howard said he does like to look to see what they're wearing though. Howard said he likes to look to see how they dress them. King said his mother had on a $2,000 dress. Howard asked why they would do that. King mumbled something but Howard couldn't hear him. King said it was a Vera Wang dress. He said it was unbelievable. They had Reverend Calvin Butts there too. Howard said that's a big deal. He asked what they had to pay to get him there.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel had a name for a Ronnie show. He said he'd call it More Ronnie. Ronnie said that's what Steve Langford wanted.
King was still goofing on Ronnie so Ronnie said he was trying to be nice to him and this is how he gets treated. King said Ronnie is the man. He likes that he says he doesn't have to say he loves his girl. Ronnie said he felt bad for King and what he went through with his mother. He said he knows what that's like.
Ronnie told Howard about going to that wake and seeing kids at the wake and touching the dead woman. He said they don't know what's going on and they were pulling on her hand and stuff. Ronnie said he wanted to get out of there. It was really weird. Howard thanked Ronnie and had him leave.
Howard asked King what he said at the funeral. King said he just thanked his mom for everything. He said she was a wonderful woman. He said she used to give him $100 to go shopping and she'd never ask for the change. He said she was a loving person and she was perfect. Howard said he's sorry to hear she's gone. King said he's doing his ''Black on Black'' show tonight on Howard 101 at 7.
Howard said he has no desire to look at a dead body. They never look like the person you knew.
Bobo asked what's going on with his big project. Howard said he's not talking about it because he doesn't want to have to spoil it for everyone if he has to cancel it.
Howard said President Obama was on 60 Minutes last night. He said he felt good watching the guy speak. He said he's very good at answering questions.
Howard said the whole Osama bin Laden thing has been confusing to him. He said you want to the straight poop or none at all. He said they say they threw him into the sea and that was that. Howard said they couldn't do a thing about it if they did that. Howard said they had people complaining that they didn't give him a Muslim funeral and things like that. Howard said it's all bullshit because Osama didn't give a fuck what happened to the people in the World Trade Center.
Howard said all religions are nuts. He said he was reading about the people who were sitting there watching the Osama video and they have that shot of them all doing that. Howard said in the Hasidic paper they cut out Hillary Clinton because they don't want to show a woman in a position of power. He said these religions are so strict that they won't allow that. Howard said it's just people who want everything to be under control. They can't stand to have anything out of their control.
Howard said this whole Osama story is very confusing. He said the story came out and they briefed us about what had gone on and at first it was that they went in with a helicopter that was hit by bullets and it was forced to land. Then they said it hit a building and had to land. He said we still don't know what happened there.
Howard said when they killed Osama they said he was holding his wife as a human shield. Then we heard the wife wasn't being held. Now they're saying there was no gunfight. Howard said we're going to hear 50 versions of the story. Howard said this is a big story and we need to know the truth. Howard said the guy was using his influence to kill people and we want the details.
Howard said everything has been confused in this story. Robin said they were watching so it's not clear why it's all out of control. Howard said it doesn't need to be confusing. There are too many inconsistencies in the story. He just wants to know what happened. Howard said he's just glad he's dead. He doesn't need to see pictures of him dead either. He said it would just make things worse in the Middle East if they did release pictures.
Robin said that you'd end up staring at the picture and making up stories in your mind. Robin said that picture would end up hanging in everyone's house over there.
Howard said they found that when they got all of this information about Osama was that he was planning on attacking the rail system and the water supply there in New York.
Howard said he read a story about some kids who went into the subway with a bunch of Roman candles. He said it turns out they were ''urban explorers'' who looked very nerdy. Howard said they were busy walking through tunnels instead of getting laid on a Friday night. Howard said they ended up getting arrested because they thought they were terrorists. Howard said that's a really douchey thing to do.
Howard said e was on Robin's web site, RobinQuivers.com, and she's really got a lot of things going on. He said Robin is all about the green drink and all of that stuff. He said he and Beth were checking out the web site and sat there for an hour going through all of the stuff she has on there. Howard said you can't have more fun than that.
Howard said whoever put that together did a good job. Howard said they really have to take a break. Robin said she put up a video clip explaining that she wasn't leaving the show. Howard said he thinks that Robin needs to step up her game and get her talk show going. He said she has to get nuts on that thing. Robin said she has a lot of people who want to know about her Ayahuasca thing so she may have to do a live chat about that. Howard said she should do a thing where she tries on different outfits. Robin said she's going to be doing an online detox. She said people will be able to detox with her and track her progress. Howard said ''Yeah, we want to do that...''
Gary came in and said he didn't know he was doing that. Howard wondered if Jon Hein noticed that. He had Jon come in. Jon said he hears Gary talk to himself sometimes. He said he mumbles to himself but he's never heard him sing. Howard said he thinks it's singing and told him to listen to it more carefully. Gary asked what he sings. Howard said he's not sure what it is. Howard said it reminds him of a little kid. He said Gary doesn't even know he's doing it. Gary said he has a whole list of things that he can't do.
Howard said he has so many distractions in there. Howard said Brian Phelan is in there before him now and he'll start a conversation with him and he really just wants to get to work. He said he has to be rude to him and tell him that he can't talk. Then Gary will walk in and start humming. Gary said he'll come in sometimes and he'll just get the hand from Howard. He said Howard isn't that way with Brian yet.
Howard said it's like having a mosquito on him with Gary. He said he's humming and mumbling. Howard said he wishes he had tape of Gary doing that. He said he doesn't think it's the same song every time. Gary said he's never heard anyone tell him he's done that anywhere else. Howard said it's a new thing that's been going on for the past few weeks. He said he'd love to have a tape of it and have everyone guess what songs he's mumbling.
Howard said he thinks that Gary is trying to tune him out. He said he's impatient too. He said maybe he's trying to keep his voice clear too. Gary said he's not freaked out by Howard doing what he needs to do. Howard and Fred were doing an impression of what Gary does. Howard would hum and sing for a couple of seconds. Howard said he can't quite make out what he's singing. Fred was singing lyrics of actual songs doing his Gary impression.
Howard said maybe Gary is singing that he loves his boff. Howard said he'd be okay with it if that's what he was doing. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said they're saying that David Bowie won't leave his house because he's fat. Robin said she thinks she started that rumor. Howard was still goofing on Gary about the song singing and said that's the song he's going to sing next time he's in there.
Howard said there's a black rap star by the name of Nicki Minaj and she does this weird thing where she talks like a normal chick and then she goes into this strange British accent. Howard had some audio of her doing that. She was speaking without an accent for a few seconds and then goes into the British thing. Howard said she was born in Trinidad and she grew up in Queens. Gary said the guys were telling him that she's like Lady Gaga and she goes into different characters.
Howard said he was watching that Lady Gaga show on HBO that he had taped. He said he hates saying he ''Tivo'd'' or DVR'd it. He said he wants to say he ''taped it.'' Howard said things change so rapidly. He said he recorded the show.
Howard said Lady Gaga is accused of ripping off Madonna and sometimes you see her and you think it's Madonna. Robin said she does appear to be very much like her. Howard said he was watching a part of it where she's back stage and she's very Madonna-esque. Howard said she's brutally honest like Madonna was in ''Truth or Dare.'' Howard said Lady Gaga broke down in tears and she was upset that she wouldn't be able to do a good show for the fans. He said it's almost word for word what Madonna was like in her movie.
Howard played some of the audio of Lady Gaga talking to her people about how upset she gets thinking about all of that. Howard said everyone went through what she went through. Howard said it happens to guys who sell shoes for a living and guys who collect garbage. It's called ''living.''
Howard played more of the audio and said it was even in black and white like Madonna was. Howard goofed on her about the things she was complaining about for a minute. Howard said we're all superstars. That led to Fred playing the audio of Zenaida Perez crying and saying ''We're all superstars...'' Howard told Fred to find the full clip and play that too.
Howard played more of Lady Gaga talking about ''the kingdom'' of her fans and how she will never destroy that. Howard said he likes her songs and watching her dancing around half naked on stage. Robin said she saw a clip where she stood up on the piano she was playing and the bench toppled and she fell under the piano. She kept singing too.
Howard said Lady Gaga talks too much during her concert too. He said you can't understand what she's saying in a huge place like Madison Square Garden. Howard said she said ''New York'' a lot during those speeches too. He did an impression of what that sounded like to him. He put echo on his voice and had her going on and on. He said it was prattle times two to the third power. He said she's an idiot too. Howard said it's all bullshit and she should just sing her songs. Howard said she did all of her new songs instead of the songs you know. He said the crowd puts up with it but she only played one hit out of the 10 songs she performed. Howard told JD to pull some audio of her rambling to her ''monsters.''
Howard did more of his impression of her going on and on in the echo chamber. Howard had Fred play the clip of that girl Zenaida Perez asking for someone to just give her a chance. She was crying and talking about how she's ''real'' and asking people to just give her a chance. Howard played that and talked about how that's what Lady Gaga was like back stage. Howard let that clip play through for a couple of minutes.
Howard said it's like watching an insane person when you see Lady Gaga back stage talking like that. He let Zenaida ramble some more too. He wondered what happened to that chick. Robin said she must have calmed down and gotten a life. Howard played some of Zenaida singing that day. Howard also did his impression of Lady Gaga too. He said that Robin has to hear the raps she was doing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a huge fan of Howard TV. He said he likes the Behind the Scenes episodes and asked if that's a regular thing now. Howard said they're shooting everything there now and they follow them around 24/7. The guy said he saw the episode where he goes to Jon Stewart's show and where he helps JD clean his office. He also had Scott fucking up again in the studio. The guy said he really has to hire Evan to do the engineering there. He said that guy is doing his job and telling Scott what to do. Howard said Evan is a go to guy. He said he's glad he got on that episode because he doesn't get any credit. Howard said in defense of Scott he gets ordered around by everyone there. Even the interns.
Howard said he gets so annoyed because the camera guy is there outside of his office waiting for him. He said Ronnie started to talk to him all of the time. Howard said they're trying to shoot behind the scenes and Ronnie is talking to the guy. Howard said he confused Ronnie when he addressed the camera though.
Howard said he had to take a break but he had a little treat to play. Howard said he was going to play a phony phone call from that Superstar chick. He eventually put it on. In the call Sal calls a funeral home and has Lawrence Taylor crying to him. Then he has Zenaida crying. The funeral home guy tells her he understands. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he didn't hear Lady Gaga doing that song on the HBO special. He said that would have been cool.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the Osama death and said they could have shot him up in the Space Shuttle and had a solar panel attached to him in space.
Howard said he had some audio of Wolfie going out and asking people about how they felt about Obama being fished out of the water and being resurrected. The people he was asking thought he was serious and they were responding to him like it was a true story. One woman said she was outraged. Another woman said they should have left him there in the water. Wolfie asked how she felt about the resurrection. She said that was terrible and he was going to do bad. She said she'd be looking over her shoulder now.
Howard said it would be kind of funny if the guy came back like Freddy Kruger and we had to keep killing him. He played another interview Wolfie did where another guy said that story was shocking and surprising to him. He seemed to believe it was true. That guy said that those people are kind of crazy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Meatloaf was on Celebrity Apprentice crying for like 30 minutes last night. Howard said he heard he was kind of nutty and kind of difficult to work with. Howard said it's crazy how he dealt with the guy who wrote his songs for him. The caller told Howard how funny it was how he kept crying whenever Trump would mention his charity.
Another caller asked how Howard's weekend went. Howard said it went fine. The caller asked when they're going to cut down on the commercials. Howard said he takes one break an hour. The caller asked why they have to change it. Howard said he knows what he's doing and this is the show. The caller asked why he has to change it. Howard said they have to make money. the caller asked why they pay for it if they have to do commercials. Howard said he just does what he's told. He told the guy to call the company if he wants to know why they have to do commercials. Howard said he should take a break just to bust his balls. That's what they did.
Howard said that Jesse was saying that Kat Von D was better than Sandra Bullock in bed and there were a bunch of newscasters who seem to really hate Jesse even though other guys cheat on their wives. He said that Ozzy Osbourne has talked about that on the air. He said he cheated and got caught by his wife and no one puts him down for that. Howard said you have to hear the moralizing going on with the Jesse James stuff.
Howard played a clip from a St. Louis newscast. The reporters were talking about Jesse and how he cheated on Sandra Bullock and how he had said that Kat Von D was better in bed. Howard said this guy sounds disgusted. Howard said they replayed the entire clip and if they were so against it then why play it? The guy plays the clip and tells Jesse to shut up. He says no one cares about him but they just played the interview clip so they do care.
Howard said Gary is listening to a book and in the clip they go back in time and talk about how this guy Reverend Ralph Abernathy was close to Martin Luther King and how he cradled his head when he was shot. Howard said Jesse Jackson ran downstairs and put blood on his hands to show that he had held him in his arms. Howard said this is crazy stuff. He had some audio of that book that Gary was listening to. They talk about how Jesse Jackson claimed he was the last person to speak to King and that he had died in his arms. He was still wearing the blood streaked turtle neck when he did this interview.
Gary came in and said that Jesse Jackson was hiding behind a wall when the shots rang out. Howard said he would too. Gary said that's a normal reaction but he went and put blood on himself trying to claim he was the last one to talk to King. Howard said he would be embarrassed to go in public if that's something he did. Howard said Jesse Jackson is the guy who ran and put blood on himself. Howard said they're trying to vilify Jesse James for what he did while this Jesse Jackson is up to this nonsense.
Howard read some email about Jesse James' interview and a lot of fans thought it was great and Jesse owned up to his mistakes. Howard read some negative feedback too. He had some people complaining about how he was trying to profit off of his bad behavior. Howard said about 98 percent of the email was positive. He read a few more of the positive emails.
Howard played another news report where they talked about the interview Jesse did with Howard. They talked about the his comments about Kat Von D being better in bed. Howard said you always do that when you're with someone. Howard said you'd think that he had said Sandra's pussy smells. Howard played another news report where they had pounding music playing behind the guy as he read the story.
Howard said that book Gary is reading is called ''Hellhound On His Trail: The Electrifying Account of the Largest Manhunt In American History.''
Howard said he was reading about these nerds who go out and do this urban exploring earlier. Howard said these guys are all douchbags. He said he was reading about the hackers who stole information from Sony and they went after this one guy to protect us from the hackers. He said that the hackers have written a public letter telling Sony that they're going after them. Howard said they're really angry now and they're going to go after Sony for going after this hacker. Howard read the letter that this group ''Anonymous'' put out and how they're going after them. Howard said they're saying they will experience the wrath of Anonymous. They say they do not forgive and they do not forget. He said these guys are all nuts.
Howard read about what this guy Geohot did and why the group is going after Sony. Howard said you have to be kidding about all of this. He said that the information that these guys are stealing is personal information. He said it's just not right.
Howard said he doesn't know when it became acceptable to take something of someone else's and make money doing it. Howard said it seems wrong.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they don't get Trump on the air to talk about all of the stuff he's up to. Howard said he got a note from Trump recently and he's going to come on soon. Robin said he's doing all kinds of wacky things lately. Howard said Trump was appreciative of what he was saying about him ruining his brand.
Howard took a call from Debbie the Pet Lady who was complaining about being on hold like a bitch. Howard said she's yelling and angry the whole time. Howard said she's angry even when she's on hold. Debbie thought she was on hold and she started freaking out. Howard pretended to put her back on hold. She flipped out and yelled at him to leave her on the air. She said he has no idea what they're doing to her. Howard pretended to be the guy putting her on hold for Howard. Debbie was screaming to please get put on the air with Howard. She said people are fucking with her.
Howard pretended to be an intern talking to Debbie about being put on hold. He kept telling her that he was going to put her on hold. She was screaming at him calling him names saying that she had to talk to Howard. She told him that she didn't have to put up with this. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. Howard stayed in his intern character and kept asking if he should put her on hold. Debbie ended up hanging up in the middle of a scream. Howard said he really does love her.
Howard said he's heard that she's angry all day long from what he's heard. He said she may have an anger problem. Howard said they need to have her back down there and give her a show. Howard said he can't imagine and hour of that though. Howard told Gary to get her on the phone so he can speak to her. Gary said he'd do that.
Howard said Ted Williams the Homeless guy is back in rehab. He read about that and about these so-called celebrities who are on Dancing with the Stars who end up getting angry about what they get paid to be on the show. Howard said that they want more money and the producers think that they're giving them plenty. Howard said according to the article he was reading one contestant complained about the amount of work they're doing and what they're putting their bodies through.
Howard had Debbie the Pet Lady on the phone again. She was screaming about how they broke her phone again. Howard told her to calmly explain what was going on. Howard said the show moves very quickly and she needs to get her thoughts out quickly. She said she can't do that now. Howard told her to call when she's calm. She said she can't call when she's calm. Howard just paused for a second and she thought he had hung up on her. Howard said he can't get through to her.
Howard got back to the Dancing with the Stars thing and spent a few more seconds on that. Howard said they were making it seem like the J-Lo performance on American Idol was live but it was pre-taped. Howard said Paula Abdul has been signed to be on Simon Cowell's new show. Howard said Simon said he needs her. Robin said that should be interesting. The celebrities coach the contestants on that show.
Howard said Willie Nelson's daughter is a singer and she's really out there. Howard said he thinks that they had her on the phone once talking about PETA. Howard said she sings a song about ''Who You Fuckin.'' Howard played some of that. He said he thinks he likes that song.
Howard said there's a song about Barbra Streissand and it's kind of strange. He said he was listening to Hits 1 or Hits 2 or whatever they're calling it now. Howard said the song is called ''Duck Sauce.'' He played some of that too. Howard was told the name of the band is Duck Sauce. The song was ''Barbra Streissand.'' Howard asked Gary if it's in the top 5 year. It's not but it's been played on Hits 1 the whole weekend according to Gary.
Howard went through the top 5 songs after that. Bruno Mars, Black Eyed Peas, Britney Spears, Adele and Katy Perry were in the top 5. Howard played a little bit of each of the songs.
Howard said they were going to talk to this guy from the Melvins about how he was in the band Nirvana as the drummer before Dave Grohl joined the band. Howard said the guy decided it would be better to be in the Melvins. Howard said he wants to know how the guy lives his life. He said he'd jump off a bridge if he was that guy. Howard said all three of the guys in Nirvana made a fortune. He said he thinks that the guys in the Melvins are pumping gas. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he just spoke to Billy over the weekend. Howard said he's proud to announce that. Robin said she was hanging out with Leon Russell over the weekend. She said she got to go into his trailer. Howard said ''And...'' Robin didn't have much more of a story about that.
Howard had Dale Crover, from the band Melvins, on the phone. Dale asked how things are going in there. He asked Robin if she's been on anymore Ayahuasca trips. Robin said she hasn't. Howard told Dale they've just been talking about the Osama thing. Howard said that they're very happy about that. Dale said he is too.
Howard said he's calling today ''Bad Decision Monday'' because that's what Dale made. He said that Dale was in the band the Melvins and Kurt Cobain was a fan. He heard that the Melvins kind of broke up and Kurt asked him to play in Nirvana. Dale said they were on a hiatus with the Melvins at the time. Howard said he was at a crossroads in a sense. He said he had to pick between the Melvins and Nirvana. Dale said they didn't even have a record deal at the time. He said that he did the demo with the band. Dale said they were heavily influenced by them and they were like the Melvins Jr.
Howard said Dale must wake up every morning and say ''Shit!'' when he thinks about the kind of money he could have made. Dale said it would have been nice but they had a rags to riches story with an unhappy ending. Robin said he must be kicking himself with how big they became. Dale said he couldn't predict that though. He said that everything has worked out fine for him. He said he played on 3 of their records so he gets paid for that. He said he still makes money off the band. He said he played for the Bleach album and 4 or 5 songs on a record called Inscesticide.
He said he almost gets a full cut. He said Dave Grohl gets a little bit of his cut. He said their reasoning was that he didn't play on all of their songs. Dale said that he gets thousands from the albums but not millions. He said that when they first came out he was making decent money and it was paying his rent.
Howard said he would go nuts thinking about that if he was in his position. He said that it would make him mental thinking about how he didn't make the right choice.
Howard said he doesn't know the Melvins music and he's not putting them down. Dale said they have like a million records out so he should check it out. Howard said he did have their new album ''Sugar Daddy Live'' there so he should play it. Howard asked if he thinks about how successful he would have been if he was in that band. Dale said it doesn't bother him at all. He said he's not putting down the band at all but there was no way to predict that they were going to hit it that big. Howard said he's a musician so he should be able to tell. Dale said he'd say that the Melvins are the better band.
Howard played some of the ''Sugar Daddy Live'' album and Robin wondered if they were playing the end of a song. Dale said it was the start of a show so they were warming up. Howard said Robin had a point there. It did sound like the end of a song.
Dale told Howard about how they have two drummers in the band. Howard said that must make Dale nuts. Dale said that it's actually great and they were inspired to do that when they had Dave Grohl play in the band in some of the final concerts that they did with Nirvana.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a fan of the Melvins and they're better than Nirvana. Another caller said that he's downplaying the Melvins and their success. He said he's glad that they have Dale on the show today.
Howard asked Dale if he can get laid. Dale said he's married so he's fine with that. Another caller said he was going to call and bust Dale's balls a bit but maybe he'd give him a show with Jackie. Howard asked who has a hotter wife, Dale or Dave Grohl. Dale said it was him of course.
Howard said he's not sure what everyone is carrying on about. He played some of the song ''Boris'' but Dale told Howard to play another song but he couldn't remember the name of the song. Howard said this is why he should have joined Nirvana. Howard continued playing Boris. Howard said it sounds like his childhood song ''Psychadellic Bee.'' Howard told Dale to give him a good song to play. He told him to play Civilized Worm. Howard said he'd do that because he hasn't heard any lyrics yet. Dale told him to listen to some of the lyrics.
Howard asked Dale if he makes a living doing this. Dale said he hasn't had a job since 1991. He said they tour and record constantly so he stays busy. Howard said they sound very drum-centric. Dale said they do have two drummers so they have to utilize that. Howard said he was running out of time so he had to cut the song off before the vocals again. Howard said that song sounded like ''My Hero'' so maybe they did influence the guys in Nirvana. Howard sang the lyrics to My Hero to that song Civilized Worm and it kind of matched up. Howard said he was digging the song. He said he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had stayed in that band instead of going to Nirvana. Dale said he's making a living off of this so he'd doing okay. Howard asked how much of a living he can make. He said it's less than 100 grand but more than 70.
Howard gave Dale a plug for his album and for the band's web site TheMelvins.net. He let Dale go but he had more questions for him. He said he wanted to know what it was like when Courtney Love was around.
Howard had Dale back on the line so he asked if he was around when Kurt was dating Courtney. Dale said he was but he didn't know her that well. Howard asked what he thought of that situation. Dale said she was on her best behavior at the time. Dale told Howard he probably knows her better than he does. He said he just knew her ''enough.'' He said he never saw her do anything crazy. Howard said he thinks she's a nice girl but she'll call and leave a rambling message for him. He said he can see why a guy would have a hard time being in a relationship with her.
Howard said Kurt must have had a chance with a lot of girls. Dale said there were girls around at times. He said they don't get a lot where they come from though. Howard asked Dale if he was getting laid a lot. Dale said he always had a girlfriend at home so he wasn't like that. He said they really didn't have a lot of girls around. He said they had to be nice to the ones they had. Howard thanked Dale again and let him go.
Howard let the clip play through and Meredith was talking about how she's going to spend time with the family and joked about how they were probably thinking that they have enough time. Howard said they probably won't spend anymore time together.
Howard said his fans get pissed that he's working less but he's actually sticking around for a few more years. He said that he could have retired. Howard said Ann Curry must have been thrilled that Meredith is leaving. He played some more audio of Matt Lauer and the crew over there talking about Meredith's announcement. Howard said it seems like everyone on these other shows is really close. He said it's not like that there on his show. Robin said they're just hanging out at work, that's what they're talking about. Howard said that was the big announcement. He went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's ever had a sex dream about anyone he finds repulsive. Howard said he really doesn't have sex dreams. He said he really doesn't have any fun in his dreams. He said other people seem to have fun and he doesn't. Robin said she has had sex dreams that are very vivid.
Howard said Sal has gone berserk on Twitter. He wrote ''At a party, Just toasted my wife 'happy mothers day to you and your vagina, it may not fuck much but it made our children'....she's not happy.''
Howard said he's out of his mind. He said he hasn't figured out how to make his wife think he's a good guy. He said if he wants his wife to pay attention to him then he has to act like a different human being. Sal said he's thrown in the towel. Howard told Sal he has to thank his wife for being a good mother and say that to her. Sal said he likes to think outside of the box. Fred said that's why he is outside of the box. Howard said he'll never get into that box either.
Robin started her news with a story about Smallville coming to the end this week. Howard said he's all caught up with the episodes. He's been watching all 10 years. Howard said he has the final episode at home. He said he's going to watch it this week. Robin said she bailed years ago. Robin said they're bringing back Chloe, Lex Luthor and more. Howard said he likes the show.
Howard said one of the show he's enjoying on his iPad is ''Fringe.'' He said he likes that kid from Dawson's Creek in it. He said he thought he was going to be a Tom Hanks kind of actor but he never got his shit together. Howard said he thought he was going to be the break out star. He said he's really just a TV guy.
Howard said his parents will be going to Nathan's Hot Dogs for their anniversary soon. He said his father is so proud that he can eat 3 hot dogs there. He said he's getting older and he's so proud that he can eat that much.
Howard said his mother's day was a bust. He said he sent some flowers to his mom from Proflowers. He said his parents have a routine and they do the same thing every week. Howard said he has them brought into the city on Monday's so they can work out. He said he wanted to take them to dinner tonight since they'll be in the city. He said that his mom said she had the gym already. Howard said they could make it later in the day but you would have thought that he had told them he was going to drop them into Afghanistan. He said his mother was talking about changing her bedding on a Monday. He said he's going to have to set it up for a couple of weeks from now. He said their routine is very important. Robin said he has to get into their routine. Howard said it's for the better if they're just happy. He said they're not looking for him on Mother's day. They don't need him.
Robin got back to her news and read about this guy who delivers food for a job. Robin asked what the appropriate tip is for someone like that. Howard said he's a lunatic when it comes to tipping. He said he gave a $38 tip on a $60 bill. He said that's just nuts. Robin said this guy who delivers is trying to get huge tips like that. Howard said he likes to make a guy's day with a good tip. Howard said he would pay his neighbor just to accept his order to give the guy 10. He said he gives ridiculous tips. Howard said it's like charity. Howard said on a $30 bill you should give maybe $8-10. He said that would be overly generous. Howard said 10 bucks is what you should give. He said he pays more for the tip than the food sometimes. He said the guy is performing a service. Robin said this guy was posting personal information on a web site. She said that he expects about 15 percent on whatever he's delivering. Robin said she didn't know that there was some set amount. Robin said she gives about a $10 tip on a $15 pizza. Howard said it's a lot of work to deliver food like that. Howard said they're saving you a trip. Robin read more about this guy and how he says you're supposed to give 15 percent to a delivery guy. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read about their former intern Sussy being out on the road bicycling across the country. Robin said that she was reading in the paper about sports and sperm count. She said that they say that bicyclists have less of a sperm count than other sport guys. Howard said he went for a bike ride with Beth the other day and his sperm were aching. He said those seats are so uncomfortable. He said his balls do ache after riding. Howard said he doesn't think Sussy needs to have kids. Howard said he doesn't get these guys in their 20s who go out and ride a bicycle. He said he's not going to have a career. Howard said if you want to be free then go and shoot yourself. Howard said he would rather be riding his bike too. He said when Sussy is 50 and has no retirement money then he'll have to pay for him. He said this is why we need free everything in this country. He went off on Sussy about that for a few minutes. He said the guy is going to have a kid some day and the kid's head is going to be the shape of a bicycle seat. Robin said she hopes that Sussy's sperm count stays good.
Robin said that Oprah Winfrey's OWN network head has left the channel after just 4 months. Howard said Oprah only gave her 4 months. Robin said that Peter Lagori is coming in. Howard said Peter is a good guy. Robin said he's taking that spot effective immediately. Howard said if he were Peter he'd put shows on that people actually want to see. They need their own Jersey Shore type show. Howard said Peter is going to put a stop to the nonsense over there. He said they have a total audience of like 170,000 people. He said he could yell out the window in New York City and get more than that.
Robin read about Jerry Seinfeld launching a web site, JerrySeinfeld.com, for all of the stuff he's ever performed. She said his web site went life on Friday morning. Robin said he's running just 3 clips a day. Howard said all of his stuff is already available for free.
Robin said that a Japanese company has invented a device that will make it possible to French kiss someone over the web. Howard said that sounds disgusting to him. Robin said it's the start of something big. Howard said some day he'll be able to stick his penis in something that will be inside of a woman over the web.
Robin said there was some news about Osama bin Laden watching himself on TV in that compound he was living in. Howard said that guy could have had a great life with the money that his family had. He said he could have lived in the lap of luxury but he was dying his beard and watching some crappy TV with rabbit ears on it. Howard said he was taking some kind of natural Viagra too. Howard said his theory is that he was a closeted homosexual who wasn't able to get it up for these broads.
Robin read some more about what people have been saying about the Osama killing lately. She had some audio clips of some people talking about that. Howard did another live commercial after that.
Robin read about President Obama's interview on 50 Minutes last night and had some details and audio clips from the show. Howard said the interview was really good and he can't get enough stories about that invasion. Howard said he noticed that Obama has stopped saying ''Puck-e-stan'' when referring to Pakistan. Howard said someone must have said something to him about that.
Robin had some audio of Donald Rumsfeld talking about the water boarding and how that helped get information about Al Quaeda from prisoners. Robin and Howard spent a little time talking about that.
Robin said they have Osama bin Laden's wife and children in custody. Robin said one wife says that they stayed at the same place on the same floor of that compound for years.
Robin said the U.S. Pakistani alliance is on shaky ground because of this Osama bin Laden thing. Robin said that they're calling for the current leaders to step down. Robin said they have shown their incompetence but that group is fighting for its life. The people in Pakistan are saying that the country is very big so it's easy to hide. Robin had some audio of an official over there talking about that.
Howard said he doesn't know who is living in his neighbor's homes. He said if someone was hiding there he wouldn't know. Robin said the new leader of Al Quaeda is Ayman Al-Zawahiri. He's now the most wanted terrorist in the world.
Robin said there was a reward on Osama's head so they're now talking about putting that money toward families and survivors of the 9/11 attacks. Robin had some audio of Mayor Bloomberg talking about that.
Robin read about the Navy SEAL training. Howard said he'd like to do their kind of training so he can look like Jake Gyllenhaal. Robin said they do things like have the guys swim with their hands and feet tied behind their backs. Howard said he'd need all of the guys to jump in and save his ass if he tried that. Robin said they have to watch these guys at night to make sure they don't swallow their tongues because they're so exhausted. Howard read an article about the crazy things they make you do in the training. Robin said it's really mental toughness that they're looking for.
Howard said he read about the mom on the TV show ''Family'' had died. The woman was 83 years old.
Robin read about how NATO is trying to get Moammar Gaddafi out of the Libya and she had some audio of some official talking about that. Howard said Gaddafi isn't going to give up anything. He said he's going to die if he gives up. He said the guy has always been a madman and he's not going to just give up.
Robin read about the Lakers losing to the Mavericks yesterday. Robin said that was a 4 game sweep for the Mavericks. Howard said he tunes right by basketball on TV. He said he likes watching it in person but not on TV. Robin had some audio clips and some more details about the games.
Robin said that there have been some words between ''The Voice'' and ''American Idol'' lately. Robin said the people on The Voice think that they could all win on American Idol. Randy Jackson has come out and commented saying that they like simple things on Idol and not things like spinning chairs.
Howard said he watched American Idol this past week and the judges had nothing negative to say at all. He said that some of the performances were cheesy and they wouldn't say a thing. He said he still watches though. He loves singing shows.
Robin said there's talk of doing a Godfather prequel. Robin said that they're talking about how this would be an authorized prequel.
Howard said Thor did really well at the box office. Robin said she saw it and liked it. She said it only did $66 million though. Howard said he thinks that it'll do really well next week. He said he's not a big 3D guy but he thought it was done well. Robin said it wasn't necessary though. Robin said she saw previews for Green Lantern and she can't tell if it's going to be good or not. She said she's worried about all of these super hero movies. Howard said he likes them and told Hollywood to keep them coming.
Robin read about a new movie called ''Bridesmaids'' that's coming out. She said it's supposed to be like The Hangover for women. Howard said he saw the preview for the new Hangover and it looks really funny. He talked about the Mike Tyson face tattoo that Ed Helms' character had and how funny that looked. Howard said he's a white guy with glasses and he ends up with the tattoo. Howard said Mike Tyson must know that was a mistake by now. He did his Tyson impression for a minute goofing on him about that.
Robin had some audio of a woman talking about her character in Bridesmaids but Howard cut it off almost immediately. Robin had another clip of a woman talking about the movie she's in. Howard said he liked the sound of that movie. Robin told Howard to get the show ''Being Human'' which is on the Syfy channel. Robin said it's about a Vampire, a werewolf and a ghost trying to have normal lives. Howard said he'll watch one episode and download the rest if he likes it.
Robin said that they ended Justified's second season and she's upset about that. Robin said the show is very good. She read some details about Thor and how well that did at the box office. She also had some audio of Chris Hemsworth talking about that. Howard and Robin ended the show around 10:15am.
Gary said he knows that he has started singing in the studio and Howard has gotten mad at him. He said he will go back and forth to see how much time he has for Howard to play clips and stuff. He said this whole thing is stupid with the singing though. Gary said he will remember not to sing from now on. Jon said maybe it's a subconscious thing and he doesn't know he's doing it. He said that Jason will mouth things that he has said on the air when he listens to the replay. Jason doesn't even know he's doing that.
Jon said that Debbie the Pet Lady was on fire this morning screaming. He said that they have to get Sal down there to talk about what he said to his wife. Gary said he has to know to give her a break on Mother's day. Jon said he has to ask Sal if he expected her to be happy with what he said. Gary said he seemed surprised that she was upset.
Jon said they have to talk about Ronnie screwing up the Tweet with the link to the dude. They will get Ronnie in there to talk about that too.
Jon said they'll also talk about Dale Crover and about Howard's tipping. Gary said Howard has always been an over tipper. Gary said he used to deliver food like that so he likes to over tip too. He said it's best to do that than have someone call the show on Monday morning complaining.
Sal came in so Jon asked about his tipping and Benjy's tipping. They both said they try to tip well. Gary said he usually pays for a cab with a credit card and he tips more than he would usually. He said at restaurants he tips 20 percent.
Jon asked JD how he tips. JD said he thinks that he's good at tipping. He said he makes sure that he tips coat check people very well after they did the coat check at Howard's party. Sal said he once tipped a coat check girl $100 at a party. He said he thought she was going to grab his cock and take him to the back.
Jon asked Sal what he thought he was doing with that comment to his wife. Sal said he was drunk and had some kind of mango lemonade and it brought him back to the times when he was growing up and his dad would make that kind of stuff for the ''urban'' people.
Sal said he had toasted his wife at the party and said ''At a party, Just toasted my wife 'happy mothers day to you and your vagina, it may not fuck much but it made our children'....she's not happy.'' on his Twitter. Sal said it was in front of like 4 people. He said his wife liked the gift he gave her and he loves her. Jon told him to hold that thought because they had to take a break.
Ronnie said Sal can't look him in the face because he's not an honest person. Sal said that the lights are reflecting off of his bifocals. Sal said he gets along fine with Ronnie. Ronnie said that's bullshit too. He said he doesn't like Sal because he's an asshole. He said Richard is okay. Ronnie said Richard is a follower and he just follows this idiot.
Ronnie said it really doesn't matter. Sal said he can't look at Ronnie because he asked humiliating questions out on the street.
Jon asked Ronnie about the moustache and if there's anyone who can influence him to change it. Ronnie said no. Gary said that Fred found Ronnie's twin from the late 1800s and sent out the picture. Ronnie said he doesn't care and if he likes it, that's all that matters. Gary asked if Stephanie didn't like it, would he take it off. Ronnie said no but Gary thinks that he would wait like a month and then take it off.
Jon asked Ronnie about the link he had on his Twitter account this morning. Ronnie said it was a mistake he corrected. He said the o wasn't a capital o, it turned out to be a zero. He said that when he corrected it then it was fine He said that she's a girl and she's hot. He said she picked up 800 followers today already.
Benjy said that he did do something gay though. Ronnie was ignoring Benjy and told Jon to just move on. Jon asked Ronnie about the people who follow him and how everyone was pointing out that he made a mistake. Ronnie said he didn't think he made a mistake. He said he did make a mistake but he didn't think it was a mistake at the time. He said it was the capital o and the 0 that looked the same to him.
Jon asked Ronnie how upset JD is about him taking over with the number of followers he has. Ronnie said JD is still 5000 ahead of him. He said he won't catch up that quick.
The guys asked Ronnie if he would shave his moustache for the part on this sitcom he might be on. Ronnie said he wouldn't.
Jon asked Ronnie about getting his own show that they want to call ''More Ronnie.'' Ronnie said he'd like to get one but he knows not to talk about cars. Ronnie said he doesn't know what he would do on his own show.
Benjy tried asking another question but Ronnie said he's not there so he doesn't hear him. Benjy didn't get why he gave him a hard time. Ronnie said that he's always doing stupid shit, that's why. He said he had a perfect example. He said the other day Benjy went into the bathroom and he had a whole crowd around him to show what was going on. He said they knew that it wasn't working but Benjy had the camera crew there to show he didn't do it. Benjy said they were joking around about it and the cameras are supposed to follow him around. Ronnie said he was doing it for attention and that's fine. Benjy said Ronnie is the most attention seeking person there. Ronnie said he is not and it's Benjy who wants the attention. They went back and forth arguing about that. Ronnie said there's something very wrong with Benjy. He said anyone who puts on a horse head an walks into the subway as a horse has something really wrong with them.
Benjy said that Ronnie is constantly yelling at him in the hallway and he doesn't know why. Ronnie said he's always doing shtick and he doesn't like it. He said it's all about attention. Ronnie said he doesn't run through the halls like a mad person.
Sal said that Ronnie really is the biggest attention seeker of them all. He said he hides it very well. He said Ronnie will give him disgusted looks when he comes out of the studio after something goes really well. He said it's like a sense of jealousy. He said he's his pal any other time. Ronnie laughed and said that's ridiculous.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks. Gary said he talks to Benjy about it and he gets upset when they tag him as the nut when he's doing this stuff for the show. Gary said Ronnie treats him like a nut even though he's not acting like one 24/7. He's already written him off as a nut. Benjy said Ronnie has been kind of dicky to him the whole time he's been there. He said that he's been nice to Ronnie and respectful but Ronnie is constantly on his back. Ronnie said he'll take that into consideration. Jon had to go to break after that.
Another caller said Ronnie and Debbie the Pet Lady should do a show together. Ronnie said he would like to do that. He would just yell at her to get topless the whole time. He said he'd last about 10 minutes doing that before he'd have to leave.
Jon asked JD about how much he cares about Twitter and why that is. JD said it's not that big of a deal. Ronnie said it really bothers JD that he's got more people. He said that being verified bothers JD a lot. He said JD was upset that he put the wrong link up this morning. He said that JD was making fun of him for screwing up.
Jon said he thinks that it bothers JD a lot when other people get more followers. JD said he likes to express himself sometimes and he likes to think that it's interesting. He said he would like more people to be interested. He said if you're more interested in Ronnie's misspellings then that's fine too. Ronnie said JD puts a lot of stupid shit up too.
Larry King stopped in and Ronnie had to run. Gary told Larry that was Howard's limo driver. Gary asked why he never comes on the show. Larry said he's never asked. He said he has nothing against Howard. He's out promoting his stand-up comedy tour right now. Larry said he's semi-retired now and he's doing some comedy shows. He said he has a whole list. Larry ran down some of the shows he's doing around the world.
Jon asked Larry if he knew he was going to do this or did he think he was done when he retired. Larry said he dos about 80 minutes of stories on stage and they're just funny stories. He doesn't do anything serious. Larry said he tells stories and they're funny stories.
Gary asked Larry if he thinks that Howard will continue to do his thing. Larry asked how old Howard is and how long he's been in the business. Gary said he's 57 and he's been doing it for like 30 years. Larry said he didn't want to stop when he was 57 so he thinks that Howard will keep doing it. Larry said he misses doing what he was doing when he sees this Osama thing but not when they're covering the Royal Wedding. He said that he has mixed feelings about the whole thing. He said it's like watching your mother-in-law going over a cliff in your new car. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he was going to close his eyes and hope the next 4 hours went by quickly. He asked Robin how her night was. He said he was out at Nobu with Beth and he ran into Savanna the porn star. He said she looked lovely. Howard said she was having dinner and hanging out with her son. Howard said he said hello to her. He said her son was probably 10 or so. Howard said he didn't bring up what she does for a living. Howard said that doesn't come up until he's 54 or so.
Howard said they have a governor there by the name of Cuomo. Howard said he has a great ability to negotiate and today they pointed out that he stays away from the spotlight. Howard said that's a good thing. Robin said they call him the Stealth Governor.
Howard said Benjy just spilled coffee all over the place and on the electronic equipment. Howard said Osama bin Benjy just fixed him up. Howard said he should go 4 hours without eating a thing.
Howard got back to the governor story but he was distracted by the commotion going on by Benjy. Howard said Benjy isn't noticed so he needed to do that. That's what his shrink would tell him. Benjy didn't think that's what was going on.
Howard said Benjy was getting into it with Ronnie on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said Benjy even made a phony phone call too and took days to do it. Sal and Richard had to cut it and edit it for him. Howard said he put an ad in Craigslist and said that if you want to live in a luxurious apartment you can but you have to check in on a kid who is brain dead every hour. Benjy pretended to be a mental patient. Howard said it went on for days and it was his masterpiece.
Howard played the call where Benjy took a call from a woman who was looking for that job. Benjy said this person's name is Benny and she was brain dead. She was left in the car by her mom and she ate one of her siblings. Benjy put ''Benny'' on the phone and had her talking to the woman on the line. Benny told the woman she ate her brother and asked if she had a brother too. She said she misses her brother. The woman said she had to talk to her mother about this. She wasn't sure about taking the job.
Howard said it took Benjy days for that. Robin said she's not sure they've got it. Howard said that's what he said. Howard said he doesn't think anyone would live with that woman who ate her brother. Howard said it sounds like too much of a burden.
Howard asked Gary how long it took Benjy to do that call. Gary said he was told it took him 11 hours to edit it down to 5 minutes and 45 seconds. Sal and Richard edited it down to 1 minute and 35 seconds. Howard said he may need to hear the 5 minute version. Gary said Benjy wanted to put a part back into the call and it's the part that Howard had him take out this morning. Howard said that's what he heard before the show. He said it didn't add anything to the call.
Benjy said he's not good at editing. He said it takes a long time to do that. Howard said his set up must be awful. Benjy said he's working on that so he can edit better. Howard said he doesn't need it to sound like an answering machine. Robin was still laughing at Benjy saying ''I ate my brother...''
Howard said he watched that Chaz Bono on Oprah yesterday. He said tonight Chaz is on the Oprah Network with her ''Becoming Chaz'' show. Howard said she gets her tits chopped off in that special. Howard said Chaz is the size of a couch. He said he should lose some weight. He said he looks like a balloon. Robin said she had a problem with weight as a woman. Howard said man or woman, she has to lose some weight.
Howard said they show Chaz and Cher together and Cher is as thin as a pin. Howard said Chaz claims that as a little girl she knew that she never felt she fit in. Howard said he didn't feel he fit in as a lesbian so he wanted to become a man. Howard said Chaz is thinking about himself day and night. She takes a shave in the morning and has some sideburns but that's about it. Howard said all he does is talk about Cher and if she can deal with this. He sits around all day doing nothing but that so he must be really bored. Howard said he should go get a job and stop the nonsense.
Howard said Chaz is writing a book called ''Becoming a Man.'' He said she should be out getting a job. He said it's very childish to do that and not go out and get a job. Howard said Chaz was complaining that her mom calls her a ''she'' sometimes. Howard said that's going to happen since she was a little girl.
Howard said Chaz told Oprah that her life was about her parent's career when she was a kid. Howard said it's always about your parents career. Howard said without the career you can't eat. He said you have to have a career. That's what feeds people. People are trying to make a living so the kids can have a life. He said people don't get the concept of capitalism. Robin said Carrie Fisher used to complain about her mother, Debbie Reynolds, doing the same thing.
Howard said he guarantees that Cher is footing the bill for Chaz to do the sex change thing. He said if she really wants to be a man she should get the fuck off Cher's payroll. Howard said Chaz has a girlfriend that's really hot. He said she can't be confused about what Chaz is because Chaz still has a vagina. Howard said this woman says the sex is great so maybe Chaz is using her hand on her or something.
Howard said a man has to grow up and get off Cher's payroll. He said just because you dress like a man doesn't make you a man. He said he could dress like a Navy SEAL but that doesn't make him Team Six.
Howard asked JD if he had any Chaz clips to play. JD had pulled some stuff from the show so Howard played some of that. In one clip Oprah asked Chaz if she has a cock. Howard said they haven't figured out how to do that yet. She doesn't have a cock. Howard said Chaz wants to look like a man but she's fine with having a vagina. Howard said she feels good about that. He said Chaz got her tits cut off so she walks around with her shirt off.
IN the first clip Oprah was asking Chaz's girlfriend if having sex with Chaz the man and Chaz the woman was different. She said it was very different. She was talking about how ''more alive'' he was now. Chaz told Oprah she doesn't have any plans on doing bottom surgery. Howard said Chaz sounds like Garry Shandling a little bit. Like Garry Shandling without the funny.
Oprah talked to Chaz about penis size and how most men are about penis size but Chaz talks about being a man without a penis. Howard said this went on and on. He said he thinks that Sonny Bono hit the tree on purpose and didn't want to deal with this.
Howard said Chaz went on to talk about how she hated her tits and it was the greatest day of her life when she got them cut off. Howard said he wanted to walk around with his shirt off after the surgery. Howard said it looks like there were tits there and they were just cut off though. He said it looks very weird.
Howard said they showed her walking around with her top off. He doesn't understand how just saying your a man and getting your tits chopped off makes it okay to do that on TV. Robin said it must have been all about getting topless. Fred threw in Ronnie's ''Topless... T-O-P-L-E-S-S'' clip.
Howard said the documentary about Chaz is on OWN tonight. He said Oprah does plugs for that channel every few minutes on her TV show. He said the ABC affiliates must be pissed. He said that he doesn't mind her doing that but where's her plug for Sirius XM? He said he has never heard her plug that. He said she doesn't put Chaz on her Sirius XM but she'll put her on her OWN network. Howard said he's a company guy... except when he's suing his company. He said he wants to see the company do well. Howard said Chaz and Oprah don't care about the company but he does. He said he's all about Sirius XM even when he is suing them. He wants to see them do well.
Howard told Tim to get back there. He was walking out. Tim said he thought he was done with him. Howard said he needs him in there now and not during the breaks. He said he's told him not to come in during the breaks but he still comes in. Tim said he needs to know what's going on.
Howard asked Tim about the programming meetings and how long they've been going on. Tim said they've been going on for 5 years. He said they canceled the meeting yesterday and had some other meeting. Howard asked Tim to tell him what's going on. He didn't sound okay to him. Tim said he's fine. Howard said he hasn't seemed right for the past few weeks.
Howard asked Tim to be serious and answer him without joking. Howard asked Tim about the meeting and why he wasn't there. Tim said Scott Greenstein is the one who invites him. Howard told Tim not to go to the meetings anymore. He said he wants him concentrating on this. Howard asked why they wouldn't want him in on the meeting though. Tim said he's not sure because he wasn't there. Howard said there's something wrong with the people who work there. Tim saw that they had a meeting. He said he doesn't know why he wasn't invited.
Robin wondered why they would have a meeting and hold it in a glass meeting room. Howard said this is directed at him and he doesn't give a fuck. He said he gets upset when people micro manage.
Howard asked Tim if he knows why he was left out. Tim said he was busy working on things there for their channels. Howard said people don't think straight and they just deal with nonsense. He said it's like the governor. He said he's doing his job and not worrying about this nonsense. Tim said it's the same with the governor of New Jersey.
Howard said Tim could leave but he asked again if he was okay. Tim said he's fine. Howard said he doesn't appear to be fine.
Howard said they did a thing in the paper about weight loss programs and which one works. Howard said it doesn't matter which one you do. You have to stick to it and have some personal will power. He said it's called ''shut your mouth'' and if you do that you'll lose weight.
Robin said she was reading about a patch that they stick on your tongue to keep you from eating because it's so annoying. Howard said you can't eat constantly. He said you have to control your portions. He said he has done that. Howard said he ate some food last night that was fried. He said he has a bite here and a bite there. He said he doesn't eat big portions. He said he just eats small portions. Howard said he had some club soda as a drink too. He said he fills up on that and cranberry juice. Howard said that's how he loses weight.
Howard said he wants to get Chaz in there to ask her how she makes a living. Howard said if she wants to have a cock then get a job. It'll probably grow if she has a job. Howard said when he gets done with her she'll probably jump off a building.
Howard took a call from a transgender person who said that it's very hard to be out in the world like that. Howard said it absolutely is. He said if you think you can walk in and become a man all of a sudden, it's not that easy. Howard found out that the person on the phone was a man who became a woman. Howard said eventually society will change and they'll be accepted.
Howard and Robin talked to the person on the phone, Madison, and learned that she's getting her final surgery this year. Madison said she has no desire to play with a penis. Howard said getting a fake vagina doesn't work. She said it does if you get it done right. Madison said her penis hasn't worked in over a year now. Howard said he knows what it's like when you don't cum. He said she should shoot a nice load on someone's back and she'll feel relieved.
Howard said he's spoken to men who have become women and the fake vagina is like a baseball glove, not a vagina. He said that thing gets smelly because you can't clean it out. He said if you get a load in there it'll take a week to get it out.
Howard asked Madison what her man name was. She said it was Andy. Howard said Madison is like a stripper name or something. Howard said he likes Janet better. He asked what she weighs. She said she's about 175 pounds. She said she's 5'6'' tall. She said she's big boned so that's why she's so heavy. Howard asked how he can see her on YouTube. She said you can search her name Maddie Tully on YouTube. Howard checked her out and said she looks like a truck driver. Fred played some truck sounds as they were talking to her. Howard said she has to lose those glasses. Madison said she knows. Howard said she looks like Elephant Boy a little bit. Benjy said he thought so too.
Howard asked who the old guy was with the beard in one of the videos. Madison didn't know which video they were looking at but she figured it was her father. Howard let Madison go and said that she isn't a pretty girl after hanging up. Howard said he has no problem with her doing that though.
Howard said he has talked and talked and hasn't take a break yet. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was busy talking to the guys during the break. Howard said he knows Roger Waters from Pink Floyd. He said he knows his son too. Howard said Roger is a nice guy. He said he's a musician type. He's ''artistic.'' Howard said the guy is a talented man.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Howard said that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria are getting separated. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about that. Howard said he was surprised it took this long. Howard said everyone hits him up in the email about stories like this. He said he has like 5,000 emails about this one in his inbox right now.
Howard read about how Maria is working on her Women's Empowerment web site. He said it must be tough when your husband is accused of groping chicks. Howard said he might be into her now that his testosterone is leaving his body. He said that Maria is a ''do gooder''. He said all of the Kennedy's are ''do gooders.''
Howard read some more details about what Arnold is up to and how he's working with Stan Lee on a Governator character.
Steve said they have a story about Robin's trip to Napa and how that went with the story of her talking about leaving the show. Steve told Howard about the headlines they had on RadarOnline that day. Howard said Robin never said she was leaving. Steve said the headline said she was. Howard said she never said she was leaving. Robin said she had to deal with Steve that day about all of that. Steve said that's what they reported.
Steve said they have an update about the 15 Foundation fund raiser and how that went with Leon Russell playing live. Steve said Leon told them that Howard's show is ''too nasty'' for him. Howard said he likes Leon. He said you'd think a rock star would be okay with his show. Howard had Fred play some of Leon's music. They played a few clips of some of his hit songs.
Steve said they also have an update about Stuttering John's John Gotti movie taking a hit from Curtis Sliwa. Howard said there is no movie. Steve said that Curtis is talking about suing over the making of the movie.
Steve said that John Leguizamo threw out a Mets pitch last week and he told them that he didn't want to pull a Baba Booey doing that. Steve said that Jackie the Joke Man swallowed a tooth and he's been trying to find that in his poop. Howard said he should just get a new one. Steve wrapped up and got in some plugs for tonight's Howard 101 shows.
Howard said they get a lot of porn there and he got one called ''Watching my Daughter Go Black'' and he had to thank them for sending that over. Howard said he may never watch it though.
Howard said his buddy Bebe showed him a clip on the web that was crazy. He said it was from Wheel of Fortune the other day. He said it has to be fake though. He said Bebe says his brother saw it live and it's not fake. He said this guy had the word CLAM blank IGGER up on the board. He said that most people know it's Clam Digger. The guy spun the wheel and asked for the letter N. Howard said they would have cut that out if it was real. He said no one has ever heard of a ''Clam Nigger.'' He said if that's real then we're never going to get rid of racism.
Howard said that clip is on the internet but he thinks it's fake. He said Bebe told him it's real though. Howard said he's not sure what to make of it. He said he can't imagine anyone would guess it was that word.
Howard said he has to take a break before he brings in this next guest. Her name is BiBi Jones and she loves to have sex. He said she has sex with anything. Howard said she went to the movies the other night and fucked the janitor at the theater. Howard said she'll fuck 3 or 4 guys a day that she doesn't even know. He said he read about her going to a party and she had a bet with a friend. She said she would fuck everyone in the room and ended up fucking 12 guys in the room just to fuck. Howard said Robin could learn something from her. Howard said they'd meet her in a few minutes. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he saw that Brian Johnson just wrote a book. Howard had the guys bring in BiBi Jones. He said she's going to be making her debut with Digital Playground in a couple of weeks. Howard said she looks really cute. Howard said you'd think she'd look like a pig. He said she's super hot. She's only 19.
Robin asked BiBi when she discovered sex. BiBi said she started at 6 years old. She said she has always been horny. She said she's always been afraid to sit down because she's afraid of leaving a wet spot. Howard said he's getting a boner just looking at her.
BiBi said she and another girl would eat each other out at the age of 6. They had seen movies on the internet. Howard said he probably would have done that too if he had a computer at that age. Howard asked BiBi if she thinks that something is wrong with her. He said people must make judgments. He mentioned that she had sex with the janitor at the movie theater she was at the other night. Howard said she's not even wearing underwear today. He said he likes that.
Howard said they tweeted a picture on their @SternShow account. He said she's very sexual and he's boned up just looking at her. He asked if a guy can just date her. BiBi said she has to be fucked multiple times a day and she's not sure just one guy can keep up. BiBi said she gets impatient. Howard asked how many different guys she's had in one day. She said 16 is the most. She said that's the party Howard had mentioned earlier. She said she made a bet and lost the bet so she fucked 12 of the 18 guys that were at the party. She said some of the guys have a hard time getting hard in front of other guys.
Howard asked if the guys wear condoms. She said they don't. She said that condoms dry up all of the pussy juice. Howard said he's wondering because some guys must have something going on. He said she doesn't seem to care because she's on a mad tear to have cock.
Robin asked BiBi when she got her first guy. BiBi said she didn't lose her virginity until she was 16. Howard said she looks really hot. He said he's shocked that she's this hot and giving it away to so many guys.
BiBi said she will have sex at the clubs she's worked in. She said she will give free lap dances if she wants to fuck a guy. She said she does that a lot and she loses a lot of money because of that. She said she wants to get fucked so she gives it away free. Howard asked if she'll fuck a 500 pound guy who smells. BiBi said she has fucked fat guys but they don't smell.
Howard said he heard that she doesn't like guys using their fingers on her. She said fingers touch everything. She said that she's okay with a penis though. Howard said that's kind of weird.
Howard said she'll never have a boyfriend if this is the way she's going to do things. BiBi said she has gone on dates but it never turns into a relationship. Howard said she's almost like a dude. BiBi said she feels like she has a man's personality.
Howard asked BiBi if she would fuck JD. He had JD come in to meet her. JD came in and said he loves how he's the lowest common denominator. BiBi wanted to do a sex scene in the studio. Howard said they can't do that. Howard asked if he could squeeze her boobs. She said she was okay with that. JD went over and felt her up. Howard said her boobs were nice.
Howard said BiBi has some body. JD had her turn around for him. He said she has a tattoo. Howard asked to see it. He liked what he saw. BiBi said she got it at 15.
Howard said BiBi will Tweet out (@xxxBiBiJones) to people and ask who wants to fuck. She said that she did that last night. She was staying in the City and she went down to the hotel lobby in her pajamas to meet some guys. BiBi said she got distracted when she went down for a snack. Howard asked if she walks up to the hottest guy there. BiBi said she doesn't even look for the hottest. She said that the married guys can be the best because they don't want any attachments. BiBi said she never stays the night with a guy either. Howard said she's like a black widow and she devours the guy and leaves.
Howard asked if the guys get nervous and think something weird is going on. BiBi told Howard she'll go up to a guy in the bar and ask where they're from. She said she met one guy who was from Illinois and she told him she was by herself and she wanted him to come up to her room. She said he was Latino. Howard asked if she has any preferences. She said she will do almost any guy. She hasn't done a black guy yet. Howard asked if she's never met a black guy before. She said she hasn't met any yet. She said it just hasn't come about. She's only 19 years old. Howard asked if the janitor from the other night was white. She said he was white and that was out in Arizona.
Howard asked BiBi if she knows that her vagina is sticking out a little from her dress and if she does that on purpose. She seemed to be doing it on purpose.
Howard asked BiBi if she would ever marry a guy. She said things might change some day but not right now. Howard asked if her parents know what she does for a living. She said they never talk about that. Howard said they must know something is going on. BiBi said they don't talk about it.
Howard asked how long it took to get that guy up to her room last night. She said it was only a few minutes. Howard said she must be more impressed if a guy won't go up. She said it would be more of a challenge and she'd like that.
Howard asked BiBi if the guy didn't know who she was. She said she uses fake names a lot. Last night she was Angelica. She said she likes to dress up for the guys and role play too. Howard asked if she talks during sex. She said she does. Howard asked what she says. She said she will ask the guys if they like fucking her teenage pussy and if they like the way it feels. Howard said a year from now she won't have a teenage pussy. He said that's kind of sad.
Howard asked if BiBi has ever had a guy think she's a prostitute. She said she had one guy try to pay her but she said she wasn't a prostitute and she didn't want his money.
Howard asked if she's wet as soon as she gets into the room with the guy. She said she is and she's wet right now. She said that she has to sit in a way that she doesn't get her dress wet. She said she's wet pretty much all the time.
Howard asked BiBi what kind of crazy things she's had to do. She said that some guys will role play and one guy had her stick a finger in his ass. She said she did that and he got rock hard immediately. Howard asked what kind of role playing she has had to do. She said she has done guys in their 40s, 50s and 60s. She said she was with an older man who wanted her to role play as his step daughter. She said he walked in and caught her masturbating. She told him that she'd do anything as long as he didn't tell her mom. She played the part of the step daughter and had the guy doing things with her. She said he banged the shit out of her and they filmed it. Howard said these guy can't last long. He said he would finish in seconds.
Howard asked BiBi if she ever fucked a teacher. She said she fucked 2. Howard said of course she did. Howard asked if she would go in dressed in outfits. She said they had dress codes in school.
BiBi wondered if she could tell the story because she didn't know if she'd get someone in trouble. Howard told her not to give names ore even say what class it was. BiBi said she was working in a law office at the age of 16. She said she was asked by her teacher to help out with some depositions he was doing. Howard said it must have been awkward. She said the teacher had pictures of the girls from school on his computer. She said she's not sure what he was up to. BiBi said she had wanted it from the guy for a long time. Howard said that's a big deal to be fucking one of your teachers. She said he was really good but he had a bit of a chod. She said that's a cock wider than it is long. She said it was so thick. She said she likes a little length. Howard said he thinks Sam Kinison was like that. Howard said Jessica Hahn said she liked that.
Howard asked BiBi about the other teacher. BiBi said it was just a one shot deal with them. She said she did get an A in class. Howard asked about the second teacher and how that went. BiBi said she went to the gym and met him there. Howard asked what she was wearing. She said she was in shorts. She said it was really quick too. She said she turned around and swallowed his load to make sure there was no evidence.
Howard said BiBi is making her debut in a movie called Assassins. He had a clip from the movie that he played. Howard said that was fabulous. She was moaning and Howard figured she was putting it on a bit. She said she did that with Eric Everhard and it was her favorite scene ever. Howard asked who the hottest guy is that she's worked with. She said Peter North is so hot. Howard said that's the guy who shoots ropes that Richard Christy likes.
Howard said BiBi is only 19 and she's on the cover of Hustler. Howard said she looks fantastic on the cover.
Howard asked BiBi why she walked around school with a bible. She used to be very religious but not anymore. Howard asked if she has ever thought about fucking Jesus. She said he is pretty fucking hot but she never thought about it.
Howard asked if she has a major hang up with Major League Baseball players. She said she has fucked some. BiBi said that baseball is her favorite sport. BiBi said she met an agent at a bar near the Diamondbacks stadium and he would introduce her to them.
Howard said BiBi has had sex in restaurants with the managers and things like that. Howard thought she had her first Double Penetration scene coming out soon. BiBi said she hasn't done one yet so she's not sure what that's about. She said that Digital Playground is the best and they have the highest quality videos. She said she couldn't turn that down.
Howard said he was beating off to babysitter porn the other day. BiBi told Howard she just did some babysitter porn that he has to watch. Howard said he'll have to check that out. He said he likes Babysitter's.
Gary said everyone was coming in and clamoring for a Sybian ride. Howard asked if she wanted to do that. BiBi said she really did. Howard told her to try and get off on it. He wants her to be honest.
Howard took a call from Pinnochio Dave who asked him how his nose is. Dave's voice was a mess from being sick. Dave said he met BiBi and she fucked his dog. BiBi said she's never done that.
Another caller said Dave sounded like Mark Harris. He told BiBi that she's really hot and Howard has to check out her videos. BiBi said she likes his accent. She wanted to fuck him. She was also into Will. BiBi said she wanted to fuck Will. The caller asked if she would fuck Ronnie. BiBi said she would and she loved that moustache because she loves moustache rides.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that BiBi is disgusting. He didn't like the whole Bible thing.
High Pitch Eric called in and asked if she'd fuck him. Howard said he's pretty sure she wouldn't. Howard had Eric try to have phone sex with her. BiBi tried to have phone sex and then they showed her a picture of him. She said that she would do him. She said she'd have to get on top though.
Howard had BiBi get on the Sybian and asked her how much she weighs. She said she's 105 pounds and she's 5'6'' tall. Howard said that's what a 5'6'' tall woman should weigh.
Howard told BiBi not to put it on and just be honest about how she's feeling with the Sybian. Howard asked if sex is her whole life or does she read. She said she has other interests. She said he has a dog and she takes her to the dog park and meets guys there. Howard said she can't have sex all day and night. She must read. She said she does but it's rare.
Howard had Gary start the Sybian. BiBi was moaning almost immediately. She had Gary turn it up and she said it felt so good. BiBi lasted about a minute at 100 percent power. She had Gary shut it down when she finished. She had trouble standing. Howard asked if she was okay. BiBi said it was the best thing ever. Howard said she loved it. She said it was really quick and it might have been the fastest she's ever gotten off. Howard asked if she wanted to do it again. Howard said he thinks she broke the Sybian. Howard said the battery burned out.
Howard said Gange looks like he wants to eat her for dinner. Gange said she is hot and he'd like to eat her. Howard asked if they wanted to go to lunch. Gange said he would do that. Gange said he could probably clear some time. BiBi sounded like she was into it. Gange asked if she wanted to be friends. Howard said he bets that what will end up happening. BiBi said she won't be his friend, she'll be his fuck buddy.
Howard gave BiBi some plugs for her new movie and the cover of Hustler. He thanked her for being there and had Gange take off his shirt for her. She didn't seem to mind him being out of shape. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked how that Broadway show Green Day had went. Robin said it closed but they're taking it across the country. Robin said at the end of the show Billy Joe appeared in it and they did a full Green Day concert.
Howard said he was reading about Apple and Google in the paper. He said that Apple has moved ahead of Google now in brand recognition. Howard said they say that Research in Motion, who make Blackberry devices, lost 1/5th of their value. He said they had him with Blackberry but then he found out about Apple and now everything he has is Apple. He said he was doing all kinds of things with his phone and with the iPad and all of that. Howard said it keeps him busy all day long.
Howard said Blackberry is watching all of this going away. He said it's like they're on vacation and their phones are not fun and they're going to lose everyone. Howard said they don't appear to notice that. Robin said she has a Blackberry and an iPhone and she uses both. Robin said she has situations where only one of them works.
Howard said Blackberry is losing audience. He said he knows someone who works there that has to use a Blackberry. He said they've had a huge market share because they're used for business. They're losing market share because they're not fun.
Robin said her friend Andy Krenz told her that a Blackberry is a phone and an iPhone is a toy. If you want a phone you get a Blackberry. Robin and Howard spent a minute talking about Andy since they both know him.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie interviewing a guy about playing a particular game and getting into a lot of detail. Howard said these guys are like Chaz and wasting their days away. Howard told Robin to stop eating. He said it was distracting. Robin was eating her greens as usual.
Howard played more of the audio of this guy talking about this ''Angry video game nerd'' guy there at the convention. Howard said that's what everyone is talking about there. He's not even sure what that is.
Howard played more of Wolfie's interview where he asked questions about how many hours a day they play and who their favorite characters are. The guy said he plays 12-14 hours a day. He was talking about a character from Final Fantasy that he likes too. The guy said he has pleasured himself to a character too.
Wolfie gave the guy an F, Marry Kill with some characters and the guy came up with an answer really quick.
Howard asked if any of the guys had run off with BiBi Jones. Howard said he knows Gange was all fired up. Gange came in and said that she's busy doing interviews. He said he's probably not going to go. Howard said he knows that JD backed out. Gange said knowing what she does he's not sure he could follow through with it. JD came in and said he doesn't know if he'd hit on her there. He said he has had enough of the ''on the show'' stuff.
Benjy said he's the same as JD. He doesn't want anyone talking about it there. Gange said that he doesn't want anyone talking about her like they did with Kendra. He said that was 20 years ago but people still find it on Google searches.
Howard said he figured that JD would be all over that chick. JD said he'd talk to her but he doesn't want them talking about it.
Gary said they just Googled Gange and there was nothing about him. Gange said that's what he was told. He didn't do the search himself.
Howard played more of the Wolfie interviews where these gamers were talking about the games they were playing and where they stood in the standings. Howard said all of the guys sound like JD. The one guy Wolfie was talking to yelled something out. Howard said they were playing the game while Wolfie was talking to them. Howard said the guy yelled something out to his team. Howard said the guy was getting annoyed by Wolfie too. The guy said if they lose it's Wolfie's fault. Howard said the guy sounded very cocky.
Howard had audio of another guy who was in the middle of a game while talking to Wolfie. He was talking to his team during a game they were playing. Howard said they think they're in the army and it's so gay.
Howard said he had a couple of guys asked what they do for a living and that stumped them. Howard said they live off their parents in their basement. Howard said at this guy's age he was trying to get a job at a radio station. He said these guys are gaming.
Howard said he had some real goobers next. He played the clip and this guy told Wolfie he was there to meet the nerd. The guy said he was there to have a good time and meet some other fans. Gary said he looked up the Nerd and he's a character that reviews games. Howard asked if he's a cartoon. Gary said he thinks he's in an outfit but not a cartoon.
Howard wondered how this country is going to survive with guys doing this stuff. He played more of Wolfie asking this one guy what he does for income. The guy didn't even know what that meant.
In another clip Wolfie asked a guy what he was doing at the convention and what women do when he tells them what he's doing. He said they glare and walk away. Howard said he knows what that sinking depression is like for a guy. He said he had to play cards with his buddies in school while other guys were out getting laid.
Howard said this has to be the most depressing thing to be at. He said it's got to be depressing. Robin said maybe they don't have that depression gene in them. Howard played more of the goofy guy Wolfie was talking to. The guy said he's quiet and doesn't speak much.
Howard had another clip of Wolfie talking to a guy in costume. He had a mask on so Howard did an impression of that guy trying to talk through the mask. The guy told Wolfie about the costume and what game it came from. Howard said the guy showed up in a full costume. He must be nuts thinking they should be out making a living.
Wolfie interviewed another guy with music playing behind him. That guy was mumbling and saying he likes to be able to beat people with a crowbar in the games. That guy said there are guys who leave the games out of rage and they do that when they lose.
Howard played one interview where a guy was playing a dancing game while talking to Wolfie. He told Wolfie about an injury he had while playing a game where he ripped skin off his hand from the joystick.
Howard said the most annoying thing is that Lady Gaga talks during the whole concert. He did an impression of what that sounds like. He said she's insane and annoying in the concert. Howard said she makes it seem like the concert is set up for her fans so they can have a voice. Howard said she's so accepting of her fans.
Howard played a clip of Lady Gaga talking during the concert and telling her fans about how she didn't used to be brave but her ''little monsters'' have made her brave. Howard said the audience feeds off of that too. Lady Gaga said that New York made her brave too. Howard said she goes into a long speech about how she overcame everything. Howard played more of her rambling speech. She was all worked up about how she was treated growing up and how they never thought she'd sell out Madison Square Garden. Howard said she sounds like Sam Kinison yelling. Fred threw in a Kinison yelling clip while Howard was talking about that.
Howard said Lady Gaga is up there showing her ass on stage. He did an impression of her talking about that. Howard said she doesn't need to yell like that. He said she's got a great body and she couldn't have been that much of an outcast. Robin said you don't get this kind of personality thinking you're okay.
Howard played more of Gaga's yelling. He said the concept is that the Monster Ball is going to set all of her fans free. He said that's what her message seems to be. Howard said it seems to be that you can just act completely insane. Howard said he would leave the concert at that point. He said they all think everyone is holding them back.
Howard said bands used to be so cool. Now they're just shitheads and assholes. He said it's like they grew up on professional wrestling. Howard played more clips of Gaga rambling on and on up on stage talking to her fans. Howard said the audience doesn't even appear to be reacting to her rambling.
Howard did more of his impression and goofed on Gaga. He said he's not sure how much more Robin wants to hear. He had some audio of her talking about being bullied. Howard said he has real bully stories. He said he had guys grabbing his neck and squeezing it until he passed out. He said she's complaining about kids who didn't like what she wore. Howard said he got the shit beat out of him for being white. That's being bullied.
Howard said this was all drivel. He wondered what it's all supposed to mean. In the clip Gaga dropped to the stage and said she's like Tinkerbell and she needs to hear applause to keep her alive. Robin said she liked her until she heard her talk. She said she should stop talking and sing. Howard said it's kind of like Christianity. If you believe in Lady Gaga you'll be free.
Lady Gaga asked her audience if they know what she hates more than money. She hates the truth. Howard wondered why she would be doing this concert if she doesn't like money. Gaga goes on to talk about how she'd prefer a dose of bullshit over the truth any day. Howard said he doesn't get why people aren't walking out. He said he had to play this for Robin but he had to take a break.
Howard came back and said you have to be kind of a free spirit to write songs like that. Howard had David Arquette on the phone. David said that Howard was on fire and killing it today. He said that Howard likes to bust balls with gamers but it's the same thing when he's playing chess. Howard said it's different because these guys are living at home with their parents not working. He said it can't be your career. David said some of them play games for a living. Howard said he has a career and these kids have a hobby.
David said that Howard talking about chess is the same. Howard said he's earned the right to do it. David just laughed. Howard told him to get off the phone.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he saw the picture of the porn star and made that clicking sound he makes. Howard said he thinks that he's proud of himself for being able to get on twitter. He hung up on Jeff and took another call from a guy who mumbled something about BiBi Jones. Howard didn't understand why his phones were so shitty. The caller said he was on his iPhone 4. Howard said he didn't understand what he said. The guy said the BiBi Jones interview was hot as fuck. The guy told Howard he had to go home and rub one out when he heard her on the Sybian. Howard said that girl had one of the hottest bodies he's ever seen. He told Howard she used to go under another name. Howard had to hang up on him because of the bad phone.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the Blackberry Playbook. Howard said he saw that thing and it's really not all that great. He said that they should be nervous since they're not doing anything to improve their phones. He said they come out with a tablet and it's no better than the iPad. He asked what kind of competition that is. He said he thinks they sold like 3 of them. The caller said you can't sync an iPad if you don't have a computer. You can game on it too. Howard said he doesn't play chess anymore so it doesn't matter.
Robin said she's going to try to get into the world of Apple. She said she doesn't even use her iPad yet. She said she's watching them on her Macbook Air.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the list of things they were going to cover today. Howard and Jon need up talking about BiBi Jones for a minute. Howard said he was very attracted to her and he'd take her out if he was single like the other guys who were hitting on her. Robin asked Howard if he ever dated a stripper when he was single. Howard said he doesn't think he did. He said they all took their clothes off but he doesn't think he actually dated a stripper. Jon ran down some more subjects for the show today and wrapped up with that.
Robin read a story about a girl who was discovered on YouTube and now she's gotten a call from Ferrall Williams. He's signed her to a record deal.
Howard said they were contacted by some people who have a song coming out. He thought it was Charlie Sheen but Gary said it's not Charlie Sheen, it's someone else. Howard said the song is retarded. He said they have Charlie Sheen in the background yelling ''Winning'' while Carmen Electra is singing. Howard said he's not sure what Charlie has to do with it. Gary said he's singing ''Winning.'' Howard said Snoop Dogg is doing all of the hard work in the song. He's actually singing. Howard played the awful song. Howard said he's not smelling a winner there. He said he thinks that Snoop just phoned that one in. Howard said the song is pretty much the same all the way through.
Howard said he thinks they had the track and they asked Snoop to just talk over it. He said he wants him to do a song with Ronnie doing the TOPLESS song.
Howard said that Charlie Sheen slogan is great for prank calls. Howard played a prank call the guys made to a guy selling a dog using some Charlie Sheen audio clips.
Robin got back to the story about the girl who was discovered on YouTube. This girl was singing to a track of another person's song. Robin said she was just singing at home. Howard said it sounded alright to him. He said she must be cute. Robin said she is. Howard took a look at her and said she's no BiBi Jones. He said she sounds like a black chick.
Robin read a story about a woman who attacked an $80 million painting and was put in a psychological ward. Howard said everyone is nuts. Robin said the woman thought nudity was bad for children so she tried to destroy it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been a fan for 15 years and he's been waiting to get on all this time. The guy said he had no complaints about the show at all. Howard said he likes that he has no complaints but he was going on and on so he had to hang up.
Robin read that Microsoft may be buying Skype today. Robin said they were in discussions to purchase it for between 7 and 8 billion dollars. Robin said it could be one of the biggest mergers in history. Howard said he has iChat so isn't that the same thing. Robin said she thinks that's exclusive to Apple products. Howard said he's not sure. Howard said Ross called him from the Bahamas on his iPhone and showed him around the report he was at. Howard said he's not sure what Microsoft is getting out of the Skype deal. Jason came in and told Howard what the differences are. He said you can use Skype as a phone and make free calls from around the world.
Howard said he heard Jason left his tag on his pants today. He said he knows what his waist size is. Howard said they shouldn't have a tag on the pants at that size. Robin guessed he was a 48. Howard said she was right on. Bingo. Jason said he's actually losing weight. He said he's started eating less. He downloaded that app that Richard has and it's helping. He said he's tracking his food and it's getting him to stop and think before he eats.
Robin read about how you can rent movies from YouTube now. She said they range from 99 cents to 3.99. Robin said they have about 3,000 movies available right now.
Robin read about how Google is going to give Amazon.com a run for its music service. Google is going to have a service similar to Amazon's. Howard wondered if YouTube is going to be okay when they rip off their movies like they let people do with other people's content. He said they'll probably end up suing people for doing that.
Robin read a story about how babies that are breast fed tend to have less behavioral problems as they grow up. Howard wondered how they figure that out. Robin read some details of that story.
Robin read a story about Bristol Palin's new reality show. She had some details about the 10 episode unnamed series.
Robin read about a high speed rail system that's going to be worked on in a few states around the country. Robin said they will allow some trains to get up to 160 miles per hour. Howard said he'd think about taking the train if it was that fast. Robin said it could end up being less hassle than a plane.
Robin read about some people who have been arrested recently while walking around in the subways there in New York City. Robin had some audio of police commissioner Ray Kelly talking about that.
Robin read about a couple of boys who were struck by lightning. Robin said they were standing near a tree when the lightning struck. Robin read some details about that and how the kids were under a tree when it happened.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're doing 150 mils per hour on the trains already. He said they have Wi-Fi on the trains too so you can use that. He said that's on the newer Acella trains. Robin said she must not have been on that one yet. Robin said they go pretty slow on some routes through Pennsylvania. The caller said he takes care of the high voltage on the trains. He said they keep them going. The guy said their max speed is about 150 right now but they're working on getting the road beds faster. Howard tried setting the guy up with Robin but he bailed on that conversation pretty quick.
Robin read about a guy who was arrested for trying to take a picture up a woman's dress. She had some audio of the woman talking about how she saw this guy taking her picture. Howard asked Robin what she would do if she met a really good guy who confessed to her that he was arrested for doing that when he was younger. Robin said that's a tough one. She said maybe if he learned his lesson and didn't do it again then maybe. She said she believes people can change.
Robin read a story about a guy who was arrested on a Continental flight when he tried to open the plane's door in mid-air. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Howard asked if she would prefer the cell phone guy or the plane guy. Robin thought about it and said that this guy would hurt everyone on the plane.
Robin read about Blake Shelton who is a judge on ''The Voice.'' Howard said he likes that show. Robin said they're going to start the competition between the judges. Robin said she likes Blake. She had some audio of one of his songs. Howard said country is so bad. He said he needs to be mentored. He said country music is so bad for the most part. He said it's third rate music. Robin said they do write some good songs. Howard said this song wasn't good. He was singing about ''I'll be your honey bee'' and ''I'll be your shade tree.'' Robin had some audio of Blake talking about the TV show. Howard said some of those kids on the show might be more talented than this guy.
Robin read about an Olive Garden restaurant where a child was given Sangria. There will be no charges filed against them. They will do an inspection and give them more training. They won't be fined. Robin said the mother has hired a lawyer but hasn't said if she'll sue them. Howard wondered how they could tell the kid was drunk. Most 2 year olds look drunk.
Robin read about how Newt Gingrich is going to announce he's running for President. Robin said he will talk about his run on Wednesday. Howard said he kind of digs him but he's going to have some trouble with the morality issue.
Robin read about kidnapping victim Jaycee Duggard coming out with a book about her experience. She will also voice the audio book. Robin explained who she was and how she's living in seclusion with her family.
Robin read a story about Marie Osmond getting married again. Howard asked how many that is now. Robin said she thinks it's her third. Howard said after 2 you shouldn't even try anymore. Robin read about how this is actually her first husband that she remarried.
Robin read about Steven Tyler coming out with a solo single. She had Howard play some of that. Howard said the guys in Aerosmith are going to go berserk when they hear that.
Robin read about Paul McCartney getting married again. Robin said this will be his third marriage. Howard said he met the woman and she seemed very nice. Howard said he sat next to her at a dinner party. He said he read that she was like 51 and she looks much younger.
Robin had Howard play some Beatles ''Penny Lane'' and told Howard that the guy who played the wind instruments on the song has died. Howard said he can never listen to that song again.
Robin read about Lindsay Lohan not having to do any jail time. Robin said she's going to plead no contest to her theft charge and she will probably not be serving any time. Robin said she may have to do community service though. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:10am.
Benjy said his call was about 15 minutes and then he edited it down to 5. Gary said it would have been a minute 35 seconds but Benjy wanted more in there so it was over 2 minutes. Gary said he gave it to Richard and Sal to edit with Benjy's permission.
Benjy said he doesn't want something like that out there representing him if he doesn't like it. Benjy said that one that Howard played wasn't supposed to be played. He said it didn't work the way it was. Gary said he can't put out his own version on the internet. Gary said no. He said he's not sure how to respond to Benjy. Jon told him to rework it and resubmit it. Benjy said he was going to put it on the internet.
Jon moved on and talked about Wolfie's interviews and some of the other things he wanted to talk about. They were talking about Tim getting cut from the programming meeting on Monday.
Jon said he wanted to start with BiBi Jones. All of the guys who were talking about dating her were in the studio. Gary said he figures that one of them will sleep with her tonight and they'll never know about it.
Jon asked the guys if they'd be up for doing this girl. Mike Gange said if he didn't hear her on the show this morning then maybe he would. He said he heard her talking about all of the guys that she does and he's not sure he'd be into that. Gange said he doesn't need to hear or see the last guy that she was with.
Gary talked to JD about this and pointed out that he's dated a porn star and a stripper more recently. JD didn't seem so thrilled to be talking about that.
Jon asked Gange if he feels tarnished for dating Kendra. Gange said he's not pissed about it but people do Google you. He said the last girl he dated brought it up. He said the girl was weirded out by the whole Kendra situation. He told her it was a long time ago. JD said he has the web cam shit, Kimberly Kane and the stripper to deal with. Gange said regular girls aren't impressed with that stuff. He said it might be okay if he didn't hook up with a porn star almost 20 years ago. Gange said it lingers on the internet and girls Google him.
Jon asked Gange if he connected with BiBi when he was in there. Gange said he was staring at her ass the whole time. Gary said he smelled peanut butter at one point and he asked him if he smelled it. Gange had jut finished eating it. He leaped out of his chair to get in there and he was in the middle of eating. Gange said he's in there for a lot of things like that. He said he had just started eating when the Sybian ride came up. He said he threw his sandwich down and walked in with a mouth full of peanut butter.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it's not big deal to do the chick. Benjy said he'd want to know that he was safe if he was going to do her. Gange said he would have gone to a room with her if he didn't know the whole story this morning. They had to go to break a short time later.
Ronnie was in the studio so Jon asked him what he thought of BiBi. Ronnie said she was cute and he would have banged her today if he was single. He told Gange to start dating someone because he's like 49 now and he's got nothing.
Benjy asked who Ronnie was banging before Stephanie. Ronnie didn't want to talk about that. Jon asked Ronnie why Gange is holding back. Ronnie said he's supposedly in some kind of relationship. Gange said that's done. Ronnie wondered if that's why he was out on the street taking pictures of older guys hanging out with younger women. Gange said he saw an older guy with a younger woman and posted it on Twitter and said that Ronnie isn't the only one. He said that's all it was.
Gange asked what he should have done. Ronnie said he should be in her hotel room right now. He said he should call her now before it's too late.
Jon asked Ronnie what it is about Benjy that bothers him. Ronnie said he had an example. He said this morning Benjy came in and Fred held the door open for him. He said Benjy lost his key card for a couple of weeks and he became his best friend for that time. He said Benjy kept putting his card there like Fred wasn't there to hold the door for him. Benjy said he has had a reputation for being late so he wants there to be a record of when he comes in so he puts his key there. Benjy said he's just showing he checked in. Ronnie said he could have checked in at the other door. He said people think he's out of his fucking mind.
Ronnie said Benjy is out of his mind. He said this stuff doesn't bother him. He said this is just an example of what goes on there.
Benjy said Ronnie thinks that everything he does is a bit. Gary agreed. He said it's like a bad marriage where Ronnie thinks that it's all a bit. Jon pointed out that yesterday Benjy was accusing Ronnie of doing everything for attention there.
Benjy said Ronnie is a dick to him all the time and it's insulting and rude. Ronnie said he'll stop responding to him then.
Benjy said he likes Ronnie but Ronnie doesn't believe that. Benjy said he swears that he likes him. Ronnie didn't believe it. Ronnie said he accuses him of being mean to him and he's not. He said Benjy said he gets paid to do this stuff. He said if that's the case then he won't say a word to him anymore.
Benjy said that Ronnie jokes around in the hall a lot more than he does. Ronnie said that's because that's where he is. Benjy asked the guys if they think he yells at him. Gange said that he thinks Ronnie is trying to help him and telling him not to do certain things. It's kind of like tough love.
Ronnie said maybe he is trying to help. He said he doesn't want to see him in trouble all the time. He said Benjy doesn't like authority and that's why he doesn't like him talking to him in the halls. He said he won't talk to him anymore and it's better that way. Ronnie is an authority in the hall and Benjy doesn't respect that. Benjy said he does. Ronnie said Benjy thinks he's joking but people think he's fucking nuts out there. He said the two people who were sitting out there this morning will tell him. He told him to go ask that guy on Thursday when he's back in. They had to take another break after that.
Gary asked Ronnie about BiBi and if he would bang her if he knew it would cost him 10,000 Twitter followers. Ronnie laughed. He said he thinks he can afford it. He has almost 90,000 so he can afford 10,000. He said he wouldn't give up his Verified status though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if that BiBi chick is for real. Gary said he thinks she was. The caller said she went from 4,000 followers to over 13,000 in about an hour. Gary said there was a woman who said she would blow her fans and she sent from a few thousand to like half a million in a day.
Benjy said they should give her to like a million listeners and they could get every listener to be part of it. Ronnie interrupted and said he had to go. Benjy told him to have a good day.
Gary said Benjy pitches an idea once in a while every year and he wants to put a girl in a box and have rubber gloves in it so guys could feel her.
Jon asked why Tim is all out of sorts lately and why Howard thinks that. Gary said Tim has a lot going on and he doesn't do very well on the air. He can't answer Howard's questions. He said he's kind of scattered. Jon said he might be over thinking things.
The guys talked about how he was left out of the programming meeting yesterday and he was the only one left out. Gary said Tim actually beat him into the studio today when he shouldn't have been in there. He said he loves Tim but he thought the rule was that he isn't supposed to be in there. Jon said that Howard has told Tim that he doesn't want him in there during the breaks. Tim keeps going in.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he can't believe that none of the guys are fucking that BiBi chick. He said he'd do it. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how full the show was going to be today. He said he wasn't sure if he's awake enough to execute it. He said Dennis Rodman will be coming in. He's going into the hall of fame and he'll be stopping by to talk about that. Howard said Dennis has said he didn't work hard enough to be in the hall of fame. Howard said he's a very emotional and complicated man.
Howard said he has a lot of stuff to talk about and play for the audience today. Robin asked Howard about comic books and who else can pick up Thor's hammer. Howard said he knows Thor's dad can do it. Howard said he really doesn't know other than that. He said he read some of the comic books but not all of them.
Robin said he would know if he read other comic books. Howard said that's a good clue. He asked if Captain American can. He wondered why he'd be able to. Howard said he thinks that Chuck Zito might be able to. Howard wondered if Superman could do it. Robin said he's DC comics so that's not it. Robin said the information she has is in her phone. She said it's actually The Hulk who has picked it up. Howard asked how that's possible. Robin said she had all of this information in her phone so she had to check that.
Robin said Captain America has picked it up too. Howard said he did mention him. Robin said Captain America can walk with it. Superman has carried it and flown with it. Robin said The Hulk picked it up and flung it once at Thor in a battle. Howard said he thought it had to do with being pure, not strength. Howard said that's weird.
Howard said it's almost like sometimes Hulk can have Bruce Banner come through but in others he seems to be dumb. Howard said he'll have to accept Robin's answer.
Howard said that's the way to start the morning. He had to clear his throat. Robin said she's all into Thor now. Howard said he liked the 3D. Robin said it wasn't 3D the whole time. Howard said he tried watching it in regular 2D and it was all blurry.
Howard asked Gary why they have to end at exactly 11 o'clock. He said they can go for another half hour or hour if they want. He said Tim has to let go of that.
Gary said he just heard they have permission to go over if they want now. Gary said he spoke to Jim or someone if they can go over and they can now. Jon said if Howard is in there they can go as long as they want. Howard asked who made that rule. Jon said it's Tim. He said they have other things going on with the replays and they want to have it start at 11. Jon said he's not sure why they do that. Howard said he'd love to know what Tim's thought process is.
Howard said he has never once said that they have to end it on the hour. He said he's the only one getting ratings so let them go over. He said Tim always blames it on him. He said they don't need a schedule.
Tim came in and said that he was in the room with Larry King and they didn't ask if they could go over. Gary and JD said Tim was not in the room but Tim insisted he was. Tim said they can go over if they want to. He said they like to end the show on the hour so the schedule stays the same for the spots that run in it. Tim said they can end the show at 11 or go longer if they want.
Tim said he and Howard did have a conversation about that and he wanted it to go an hour. Howard said if they have something going on then let them go. Howard said he has told Tim to let the show run as long as they want. That's the end of it.
Howard said Tim is losing weight again. Tim said he started the detox yesterday. He's doing the green drink again. Tim said he's doing a salad and watching what he eats. He said he's staying away from carbs. Howard said that's not the problem. Tim said he's sticking to the green because it's better for your energy. Robin said greens are carbohydrates. Howard told them to talk about it some other time. He was done.
Fred played a bunch of Tim's wacky phrases. Howard called them ''Tim-isms.'' Howard said he really likes Tim but why would anyone name their kid Tim?
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was upset they ended the show with Larry King the way they did. He said Larry was rattling off where he was appearing and it was going on and on. Howard said he had the clip of the show. He said he'd play it but it doesn't last long. Howard said they could have kept going. Howard said if they have something cool going on then let it go.
The caller said Larry had no idea all of those guys work for the Howard Stern show. Gary said Larry knew. He said they told him what the show was and that Howard would not be there. Howard said Larry said that he would do his show but they've called his publicist and he hasn't come on the show.
Larry King stopped in and Ronnie had to run. Gary told Larry that was Howard's limo driver. Gary asked why he never comes on the show. Larry said he's never asked. He said he has nothing against Howard. He's out promoting his stand-up comedy tour right now. Larry said he's semi-retired now and he's doing some comedy shows. He said he has a whole list. Larry ran down some of the shows he's doing around the world.
Jon asked Larry if he knew he was going to do this or did he think he was done when he retired. Larry said he dos about 80 minutes of stories on stage and they're just funny stories. He doesn't do anything serious. Larry said he tells stories and they're funny stories.
Gary asked Larry if he thinks that Howard will continue to do his thing. Larry asked how old Howard is and how long he's been in the business. Gary said he's 57 and he's been doing it for like 30 years. Larry said he didn't want to stop when he was 57 so he thinks that Howard will keep doing it. Larry said he misses doing what he was doing when he sees this Osama thing but not when they're covering the Royal Wedding. He said that he has mixed feelings about the whole thing. He said it's like watching your mother-in-law going over a cliff in your new car. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
During the clip Howard talked about some of the stuff Larry was talking about. He said he's saying he's a stand-up comic but he's really not. Howard said the guy is going out and telling funny stories. Howard said they've found that he has an audience around the world so that's why he's out on the road and going to other countries.
Howard said he wants to go to Larry's show. He wondered what he'd talk about. Howard said he can't imagine what he'd be talking about. Robin said he must not talk about the real things like the fact that he got married 7 times. She said he must be making up stories. Howard said he imagines it being like the Charlie Sheen show where you have no idea what you're going to get and he starts taking questions halfway through the show.
Howard said he understood the audience's frustration with ending it when they did. He said they just ended the show and they had a whole empty day to go long. Howard said maybe it would have gone downhill from there. Gary said he was going to work his way to asking Larry if he heard his wife on the show. Howard said Gary knows to just go long if they have something going on.
Howard played some clips of Ronnie and Benjy going at it on yesterday's Wrap Up Show. They were going over how Benjy swipes his card and how it freaks people out and makes them think he's out of his mind. Howard said they went at it for like 10 minutes. Howard kept playing the clip where they were arguing about being weird with each other. Robin said she's taking Ronnie's side in this. Fred said he's not sure why Benjy was swiping his card but whatever. Robin said Ronnie said he has tried to help him out and Benjy is making people think he's weird. Fred said he just thinks it's Benjy. That's the way he is.
Howard said Ronnie has that permanent Scowl on his face. He asked Ronnie what his position is. Ronnie said he still talks to him. He said he says hello and things like that. Ronnie said the guy who saw Benjy yesterday was wondering why he wasn't acting weird today. He wears a helmet in there when he comes in. Ronnie said when you ride your bike there you'd think he'd take the helmet off.
Howard said he and JD were laughing at Benjy with that bike helmet on. He said it's a weird biking helmet that no one wears. He said he looks retarded. It's like a batting helmet or something. Howard said he looked over at him and started laughing. Howard said you look over and you know it's a cry for attention. He said it looks like a helmet that would fall right off his head if he fell off the bike.
Howard said he didn't want to buy into it with Benjy. He said he doesn't think he needs to wear it in the elevator. Benjy said he takes it off when he gets to his desk. Fred did his impression of Benjy and said that he could trip over a waste basket.
Ronnie said it used to be Benjy running in there last minute. Then he tried to jump the thing downstairs not having the card to get it. Ronnie said he has tried to help the guy but Benjy doesn't see it that way. Benjy said Ronnie acts inappropriately with him.
Howard said Benjy's coffee spill yesterday caused some really expensive damage. Gary said he saw a note saying it made its way over to Fred's board. They had to get a cleaning crew in there to clean it up. Howard asked if they should ban Benjy from drinking in there. He said he should keep his coffee on a separate table or something. Benjy said that's a good idea.
Ronnie said Benjy has done other things like calking everyone into the bathroom to see the sink was broken. Howard asked Benjy why he did that. Benjy said he doesn't remember that one. Benjy said when they were talking yesterday Ronnie was talking about that horse bit he did on the street. He said that kind of stuff makes him angry. Ronnie said he's not angry. He said he just told him he's going to end up going to jail for that kind of stuff.
Howard said Ronnie comes off angry so he can understand why Benjy would think that. Ronnie said they all have an angry spot. He said he's the one who has to deal with Benjy when he does weird things around there.
Howard said Ronnie has problems with everyone there. He's given the silent treatment to almost everyone there. He even did that with Robin at one point. Ronnie said she's done it to him too. Ronnie said Robin has told him to get the fuck away from her when he tried to help.
Benjy said that he has a pretty good life even with Ronnie treating him the way he does. Ronnie said it's not just him. There are other people there who think he's nuts. Ronnie said he and JD go at each other but they're always friends.
Howard asked Ronnie if he had Tweeted yet today. Ronnie said he did. He was just apologizing to the followers for putting up the chick that he put up. He said the fans are kind of pissed and they want to see more pictures of that chick. He said he also put up some stuff about listening to the show about the cool interview they have coming up today. Howard said Ronnie hasn't passed JD yet on the Twitter followers but that should happen soon.
Wheels was also talking about the girl on the Sybian and why they don't do insertion. Howard said they don't let it go on in the building. Howard said they were told they can't do it anymore.
Wheels also said that chick would have gone again. Howard said he sensed that she was done. She was waving her arms to tell them to stop. Wheels said they should have kept going. Howard said they don't do that if the chick wants to get off the thing.
Robin said BiBi would work out well with Dave Lampert. Little Lupe didn't work out so well so maybe they should have her do it with Dave instead.
Howard took another call from a guy who said Howard was getting into that role playing thing with BiBi yesterday. Howard said he was kind of ashamed to be doing that. He said she was a very good looking girl. Howard said she was only 19. It only stopped him for like a second. He said she was way more mature than 19. He said she was more like a 45 year old than a 19 year old.
Howard said Jason sent him the pictures of her yesterday and she really held up. He said she's almost so good looking you wonder what she's doing in porn. He said it seems to be for real that she'll fuck a janitor in a movie theater because she's so horny. Howard said she went and picked up some guy and fucked him in the hotel lobby she was at. Howard said it sounds like she'll fuck anybody, even him. Robin said it sounded like all of the guys there could have her.
Another caller asked Howard if Beth got pregnant, would he want her to abort. Howard said yes. Howard said Beth wouldn't do it though. Howard said she believes in abortion for anyone who wants one but not for herself. Howard said that's pretty heavy. He jokingly said he has the equipment in his apartment. He said he doesn't want anymore children. Robin asked if she would do the morning after pill. Howard said she might. He said he was with a chick who did that once.
Robin asked Howard how he would tell his kids that he's having a kid that he's not attached to. Howard said that would be tough. He said he doesn't know what he would do. Howard said David Spade is handling it well with his kid. He said he doesn't address it at all.
Robin said she thought it was funny how Benico Del Toro talked about the baby he's having with a woman that he barely knows. Howard said Beth told him that she won't have an abortion so he has to be extra careful.
The caller asked if Anne Hathaway is really good looking or not. Howard said it's hard to tell. He said sometimes she looks really hot but in other scenes she looks like a monster. He said she is hot. He said he watched that awful movie ''Love and Other Drugs'' because she was topless in it. He said there was a lot of Jake Gyllenhaal ass in it though. He said Anne is hot and she was so free with her body in that movie. The movie was bad though.
The caller asked about the movie he tried watching with Matt Damon as the voice. Howard said he tried watching it but he had to turn it off. He said that movie was awful. Howard said the movie company asked for it back but he had thrown it away. He said he put it through a shredder. Howard said no one is going to steal that shit movie.
Howard said he was told to check out ''Man On Wire'' because it was supposed to be really good. He said he hates documentaries.
Gary came in and said that it's very strange to see him wearing the wife beater t-shirt looking like one of the dudes from the Sopranos.
Howard said he thinks that Chaz wants to be a guy so the fat makes him look kind of masculine. Robin said that's what they say about the female shape. Howard said they show the girlfriend too and you wonder what's wrong with her. Howard said he's not sure what that chick is into. Howard said Beth asked what he'd do if she became a dude. Howard said he'd be done with her. What's he going to do with a cock?
Gary said the whole show was riveting. They talked about how she doesn't have a penis but the girlfriend says that the sex is better now. Howard said they show her shaving too and she doesn't even have any hair on her face. Howard said they showed her putting shaving cream on her face with a big brush like they used in the 1930s. Howard said she was pretending to shave. They goofed on that for a short time. Howard said Chaz should do some Charles Bronson type movies. He said he didn't get to see the whole show because he had to get some sleep.
Howard and Robin talked about the Lady Gaga special that was on HBO for a minute. Howard said he had to go to break. JD said they played Howard and Artie making fun of Chaz in the special. He said it was a whole thing so he didn't pull the clip. Howard didn't understand what JD was saying. JD said he didn't pull the clip because it wasn't really in context. He said they just wedged it into the show. Howard said he wants to hear it. JD said he'd go get it.
The caller asked Howard about Robin trying to get her own TV show. He asked who would be the better talk show host, Robin or Beth. Howard said Beth has like 4 shows she's doing now. He said she's on Good Morning America this morning with those fucking dogs. He said they have like 200 of them from some flooded areas. Howard said people are so wiped out financially that they can't keep their dogs.
The caller asked again about Robin or Beth being a good host. Howard said that Robin would be great as a host. The called figured he was saying that because she's there in front of him. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Dennis Rodman come in. Howard said Dennis is out promoting his birthday party at Headquarters gentleman's club tonight. Howard said he was just inducted into the basketball hall of fame too. Howard said he's carrying a man purse too. Dennis said he's been carrying one since 1992. He said he carries a bunch of trinkets in there. Howard said he carries one too and he carries tampons.
Howard said when people think of Dennis they don't think of an organized guy. Howard said he was surprised to read about how when Dennis was a young man and he was looking to get in the NBA he would spend hours watching video tapes of his opponents to see where their shots would fall so he could rebound. Howard said he obviously cared about his career.
Dennis said a lot of people wanted to see him fail so he started doing that. He said he asked for some money to buy a boat from the owner of the team and for them to get him tapes of the games so he could study them.
Dennis said he would watch the angles on the floor and he'd learn where the ball was going to fall and all of that. He said he wanted to prove that he deserved to be there so that's why he was doing all of this studying. Howard said he actually learned something by doing that. Dennis said not everyone is into playing that hard every night. He said it's hard to tell someone making 20 million a year to do something like that.
Dennis talked about how things have changed since the 70s when basketball players were busting their ass to make barely any money. He said now the guys are worried about the way they look and how their hair is.
Howard asked Dennis if he would go to a Knick game. Dennis said he has gone. He also talked about being in the city to go on The View and he said they really talk a lot. He said he was hung over from the night before and he freaked them out when he said something about having sex with a guy. Dennis said he did that and the guys at the Knicks said they didn't want him.
Howard asked Dennis about being inducted into the hall of fame and how shocked he was by that. Dennis said that he couldn't believe they were doing that. They're retiring his number too. Dennis said he told them that they shouldn't be doing that for him. He wasn't there for the team enough. Howard said he thinks that people have brainwashed Dennis. He did work hard but people said he didn't. Howard said they're showing him this love and it really rocked him. Dennis said he hasn't seen the guys from the team that much. He said those guys showed him some love but he couldn't believe that they were doing all of this for him. He said they have other guys who have been around a long time and they don't get into the hall of fame. Dennis said that John Salle was wondering why he was in and he wasn't.
Howard said Dennis was rocked by the news. He had the audio of him at a press conference getting very upset. Howard played the clip and Dennis talked about what a surprise it was and started crying. He wasn't able to get the words out so he paused for a short time. Dennis said he didn't deserve to have his number retired because he didn't do as much as he should have.
Dennis said he should have been there a lot longer than he was. He said he could have been there 10 or 11 years. He said it just didn't work out that way. He doesn't get why they were retiring his number for only being there for like 6 years.
Howard said Dennis said that his kids haven't seen him play before. He said that the hasn't shown them tapes or anything. Dennis said his kids are young and he didn't want them to get shit from anyone in school. He said he's sure Howard's kids got shit for having Howard as a dad. Dennis said that kids don't forget anything when they're young. He said he didn't want them going through that. Dennis said the kids were raised right and they're on track.
Howard asked if Dennis is married now or what. Dennis laughed. Dennis said that he has a weird relationship. He said he can say these things and it always comes back to this. Dennis said he is married but he doesn't live with his wife. He hasn't lived with her for 10 years. He said he took his wife and kid out to dinner last week and it ended up costing him $23,000. He said he wants his family to have a good time. He said he hasn't been a good dad. He said he's been Dennis Rodman the Playboy. Dennis said that kids can really look past a lot of shit. Robin said it's too bad wives can't do that. Dennis said his kids know that he'll be there for them in the end.
Howard said Dennis is turning 50 years old. Howard said he's 57 now and he can't believe where the time went. Dennis said that he went through a lot of things and he remembers Howard doing all kinds of things and his wife let him get away with that. He said not too many people can get away with that.
Howard asked Dennis about this birthday party he's having at a strip club. He gave him a plug for that. He said the party is tonight at Headquarters. Howard asked if this is how he makes money. Dennis said Big John is a good guy. Howard said he knows Big John and he is a great guy. Dennis said he knows a lot of guys there and he likes going to the strip club. He said they don't mess with you at clubs like that. Howard asked if he'll get laid tonight. Dennis said he'll have to ask his agent about that.
Howard asked if he's fucking as much as he used to. Dennis said he'd love to say yes. He said he still qualifies. He said he should plead the 5th on that though. Howard said they talk about what a legend he is with women on the show like once a month. He said they were talking about how he got caught with some women in bed when he was with Carmen Electra and he just told her that they had fallen through the ceiling.
Howard asked Dennis about the women who fuck him and if they're just doing it to say they did Dennis Rodman. Dennis said some girls used to do it just so they could sue him. He said he doesn't do that anymore. Now he just smokes a cigar and hangs out. He said he'd like to be like Hefner and just hang out with a bunch of women. He said he used to want that but not anymore.
Howard asked if he had sex last night. Dennis said he didn't. Howard asked if he got laid last weekend. Dennis said he did quite a few times last weekend. Robin asked if it's the same woman or different women. Dennis said it has to be different women.
Howard said he must admire Charlie Sheen having a couple of women. Dennis said he's been hanging out with a couple of women. He said that they get along. He said he was with Charlie Sheen a couple of weeks ago. Howard said some people are distancing themselves from him. Dennis said there's nothing wrong with him. He said he went out and saw that Sheen had a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He said he was wondering what the hell he got that for.
Howard asked if Charlie Sheen's show was an embarrassment. Dennis said he just goes up and talks about his life but he really doesn't seem to give a shit. He said he seems to be taking the money and running. He said he's not a comedian but he's a good actor. He said he looks very straight when he comes out on stage. Howard said the guy has a problem. He self destructed and lost the TV show he was making millions on. Dennis said he doesn't see it that way. He's not ruining his life doing all of this. He said he'll prove people wrong.
Howard asked Dennis if he's still drinking after Dr. Drew told him he really needs to stop. Dennis said Dr. Drew is a cool guy off camera. He said he's doing all of that stuff on camera. Dennis said they can't cure someone in 19 days in real life. He said Dr. Drew is the biggest narcissist in the world.
Dennis said that he did that rehab thing and he didn't get a job in 9 months. He said that rehab shit wasn't working for him. He said people expect to see the old Dennis Rodman. They don't want a sober, boring Dennis Rodman. Howard asked if he could have faked being drunk. Dennis said he can't do that. He said he thinks what Dr. Drew is doing is kind of strange. They put people on drugs to get them off of other drugs.
Howard asked Dennis if he heard what coach Ditka said about him being inducted into the hall of fame over Reggie Miller. Howard said the guy was putting him down and he's not sure why. Howard said Dennis was a great player. Dennis said he wasn't put on those teams. He said the teams he was on were great teams all around. He said he didn't ask to be traded to teams. Howard asked why Ditka would put him down. Dennis said maybe he had too many operations on his hip.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing Leon Spinks audio clips where he mumbled and said a bunch of unintelligible stuff. Howard spoke to the clips for a minute and they weren't making any sense. Howard told Dennis to talk to him. Dennis thought they were the real thing. He had no idea what Leon was saying. Howard thanked Leon for calling in. He told him how great he is. Then Dennis thought he was asking him to fuck his wife or something. Howard said he must be joking around. Howard tried to say goodbye to him but the guys kept playing clips. Dennis said he hopes that wasn't really him because he's talking like shit.
Howard asked Dennis if he's smarter than most of these guys in sports because he's held on to his money. Dennis said he doesn't need to do Dancing with the Stars or anything like that. He said he was offered to do that show but he turned them down. He said he was the first athlete asked to do the show. He said he turned them down. He doesn't need the fame.
Howard said he had Joe Frazier on the phone next. Howard let the guys play some of his clips for a minute. They had Joe saying some nonsense. They had Joe asking Dennis if he wanted to sing with him. Dennis said he knows this isn't Joe. He said he had Joe at a party once and he was singing some nonsense. The guys played clips of Joe singing ''Mustang Sally.'' Howard told Joe he sounds great. Howard said he's going to have to hang up on him. He ended up singing with the clips of him singing Mustang Sally. Howard didn't remember the lyrics. Howard tried singing though.
Howard asked Dennis what kind of music he's into. Dennis said he likes rock and roll. Howard gave Dennis some more plugs for his web site DennisRodman.com and for the party.
Dennis told Howard he's going to make the hall of fame party huge. He said it won't be like any other hall of fame party. Howard said he has a feeling they're going to be very sorry for inducting him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw a picture of Dennis with Cindy Crawford from like 10 years ago. He asked if he had sex with her. Dennis said that they kissed a couple of times but that's about it. He said that was all he got to do. He said he'd like to be able to say he banged her but he didn't.
Gary gave Howard another plug for Dennis. It's called TripYourFace.com and you go there to try to win a trip to meet Dennis or something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Dennis is a very hard worker and he was the hardest working man in the business when he was playing. He said he never heard anyone saying that he wasn't a hard worker. Dennis spent a minute talking about how he went to the Lakers and how he left his other team.
Dennis told Howard how his wife took his kid away and how depressed he got. He said he had a gun to his head an the cops ended up showing up. He said he's trying to be a good dad now. He said he was just with the kids last week. Howard asked if he knows their birthdays. Dennis said he does.
Howard said he had Muhammad Ali on the phone. It was the guys in the back playing clips of Crackhead Bob. Howard let them do that for a few seconds.
Howard started to wrap up with Dennis. Dennis said he would love him to come to the hall of fame. He said it's in Springfield. Howard said he hates flying. Gary said it's up in Massachusetts. He could drive. Howard said it was an honor to be asked. He said he's not saying he would go but he appreciates the offer.
Howard said he thinks it's a great honor to be inducted into the hall of fame. He said he really is one of the greatest. He said it's no easy accomplishment to get to the top of the top. He said he's very happy for him.
Howard told Dennis about Robin's trip to Peru and how she did that Ayahuasca thing down there. Dennis wondered what she was doing down there. Robin didn't get a chance to answer. Howard gave Dennis some more plugs and wrapped up the interview and went to break.
Howard came back and said that was a great version of a Grateful Dead song. He said he's not a big Dead fan but he likes that song.
Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the show. He said he thinks that his wife was keeping him off. Howard said he thinks that they haven't spoken to him since they got to Sirius. (Fake) Arnold was on the phone and said Howard was right. Howard said he had a suspicion that his wife was keeping him off the show. Arnold said that they can say ''Ding Dong the Witch is Dead'' now. Arnold said that he's sitting around nude and doing whatever he wants now.
Robin asked where he's living. Howard said he heard he kicked Maria out of the house. Arnold said he did and she's been looking like a cadaver more and more lately. He said he can walk around nude now. Howard asked if he's been with any women. Arnold said he's doing the banging now.
Howard said it's pretty remarkable how long that marriage lasted. Arnold said she was a pain in the ass. It went on for 25 years. Howard said it must have helped with his political career. Arnold said since Teddy died the Kennedy name doesn't mean as much as it used to. He said he now knows why they drink too. He said he lived with one for 25 years and he had to drink.
Howard said it must be tough for the kids going through this. Arnold said this is a lesson to the kids. He said this is what happened to their daddy. Arnold said his wife used to make fun of his man boobs in front of the kids. Howard asked if he misses having a woman to help clean up. Arnold said he has Mexican maids cleaning up his shit. He said he can shit on the floor and not care about it now. Howard said it sounds like he's in a happy place.
Robin asked if he would ever get married gain. He said he would not do that. He said Maria was more work than the retards at the special Olympics. He said you have to wipe their asses and tell them they did great and that's what it was like with Maria.
Howard and Robin asked what he's been doing lately. Arnold said he's been hanging around the house naked and swinging his Conan the Barbarian sword around. Howard said it's good to hear him on the show again. He said that should let people know that he's a free wheeling guy again.
Howard asked Arnold if he would have run for president if he was legally eligible. Arnold said he would have and he would have gotten bin Laden a lot sooner. He said it would have been fantastic if he had been President. He said he has been banging a different woman every night since he left Maria. Arnold said none of this stuff compares to getting rid of the dead weight. Howard said he's as free as a free bird. Arnold said he should come out and go drinking with him sometime. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard went over what the Governor had just said and realized he still had him on the line. Arnold said he was just having a drink and smoking a stogie. Howard spent a minute talking to Arnold about the stuff they had just gone over. Howard said Arnold was very honest about all of that. Arnold said Maria was getting those wrinkles around her lips like she's been blowing guys a lot. Robin said he said she looked like Skeletor too. Howard said he also said that the Kennedy name isn't what it used to be since Teddy died. Howard said he didn't mean to keep him on. He meant to hang up earlier.
Howard said that was shocking and just imagine if he had actually said it. Howard asked Gary for the plug for Fake Arnold. Gary said you can check him out at JoshRobertThompson.com.
The caller asked if they're doing the same stuff this Friday as they did last Friday. He said that they can't have Geektimne on every week. He said that they need to have the Stern Show Shuffle. Howard said they still do that. The caller said that not many of the audience cares about what Ralph says. Howard said they have other things going on all the time there on the two channels.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up another Fake Arnold thing that they did on the show. Howard didn't remember that one. He said he barely remembers yesterday's show.
Howard said Crazy Alice called and left a voice mail. Howard said she doesn't believe that Osama bin Laden is dead. Howard played the clip and Alice was telling Gary that she wants to see a body. She said they said he was dead 10 years ago. She said that the government lies to them all the time. She went off on Robin about her looks and also told Howard his wife isn't that good looking either.
Howard said that Wolfie went out and interviewed some more people and found out that there are a lot of people who don't believe he's dead. Howard played a clip of a guy saying that he doesn't think that Osama was guilty and that he's not dead. Howard said maybe the guy is Muslim. He said that he didn't think he was at first but after hearing what he had to say, maybe he was.
Gary said that Wolfie wrote him a note saying that he couldn't find anyone who believed he was dead. Howard played another clip where the guy said he thinks that Osama was dead a long time ago and we didn't kill him.
Howard said this is crazy that these people live in this country and feel this way. He played another clip where a woman said this is just publicity for the United States. She said she thinks that they had clones of Osama and they may not have killed the real one. Howard played another one where a woman said they were glorifying something that we get upset with other people for doing. She said that she doesn't think that one person can have that great effect and it wasn't all on him for the 9/11 attacks. Howard said they should all be thrown out of this country. He doesn't get it.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Beth was shown as Beth Ostrosky on Good Morning America. Howard said he blames Beth for that. He said she should be telling them to make it Beth Stern. Howard said she told him that she's Beth Stern but he sees her all the time as Beth Ostrosky Stern. Mariann started to sing so Howard hung right up on her.
Another caller said there are no predominantly Muslim areas in Philly so she's not sure who Wolfie is interviewing. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said the idea that there are people out there who don't believe Osama is dead or that the President was born in the United States, is nuts. Howard said he saw a guy on the internet showing that the birth certificate that they put out was a fake. He said it's insanity.
Howard said Chaz Bono said he would like to talk to Brad Pitt and Angelina's kid who likes to dress up like a boy. Howard said just because she's a Tom boy doesn't mean that she's going to grow up to be like Chaz.
Howard said JD pulled the clip that they played on the Chaz special of him and Artie talking about Chaz. Howard played the clip where Artie was talking really deep and goofing on the whole thing. Howard said Robin was in there too.
Howard said Wolfie has been doing a lot for them and High Pitch Eric got jealous and did his own interviews. Howard played a clip of Eric's interview. Eric just walked up to someone and asked her what her name was. Eric asked what she thought of the Osama bin Laden death. The audio quality was bad and it was like a nightmare. Howard did an impression of the bad mic and said that it turns out their job is difficult. Howard said it turns out High Pitch is bad at everything. He said it's very hard to use his stuff.
Howard played a Little Mikey song parody about Ronnie. That was ''Dude is Almost 80'' to the tune of ''Dude Looks Like a Lady.'' Howard said he had a Robin song called ''I Jerked Off To Robin'' to the tune of ''I Just Called to Say I Love You.'' Howard said he had another Little Mikey song. It was ''Robin Whip Your Titties Out.''
Howard said he had ''Ding Dong Osama's Dead.'' He played that one and said that was a Psych song. He had another Robin song, ''Goodnight Peru,'' from Psych and Cowboy Jeff (aka Puke Bucket) about her trip to Peru to the tune of a Billy Joel song. Howard played ''Robin Please Blow Me Right Now'' by Little Mikey. He had one from Eli Braden about Gary singing to himself. That was to the tune of ''Dancing with Myself.'' He had one about Ronnie tweeting pictures of guys. Howard said he really likes the ones when they sing about Robin.
Howard played another Ronnie song by Little Mikey. That was about Ronnie coming out with the tweet linked to the guy. Howard said his favorite was Little Mikey's ''Robin Please Blow Me Right Now.'' He played a little more of that and went to break.
Howard came back and took a call from Mariann who said that Beth was just announced as Beth Stern. She said there is no trouble in paradise. Howard said that Beth has a bunch of dogs from the tornados down south. Mariann said it's all good. She said that it should be a good night for him tonight. She started to get excited so Howard hung up.
Howard said the Wheel of Fortune tape he talked about was faked. Howard said someone write in about that and said it was definitely faked. Howard said the guy who showed him the clip said it was real and he didn't see it that closely.
Howard said he got an email about his Rolling Stone article. The guy talked about what a kind man Howard actually is.
Howard said Gary read about how Sandra Bullock is the most liked by advertisers. Howard said he's number 4 on the most hated. Howard said Bill Cosby is on the list of liked celebrities but the guy is up to some weird stuff. He said he doesn't understand that. Howard said Gary was pointing all of that stuff out to him. He said that Cosby hasn't been convicted of anything weird. He said he's had some strange stuff that he's admitted to but he doesn't talk about it on the air.
Robin said she read about the Jesse Jackson story Howard mentioned the other day. She said that it's weird that people react to him like he's some great guy.
Howard read some feedback about the interview they did with BiBi Jones yesterday. He said some people were pissed that JD didn't go after her.
Robin read about how Spencer Pratt and OJ Simpson and Rod Blagojevich are above Howard on the list of most hated by the advertisers. Howard said he doesn't get why he's 2 slots away from OJ.
Howard said he was asked to do a Coca Cola commercial but when the ad agency went to them they ran away and didn't want to use him. Howard said people take what he says very seriously. He said the stuff he says is just a joke and people don't see it that way.
Howard asked Robin who is after him on the list. Robin said the Octomom is on the list so she must be up there too. Howard said that woman had 8 kids and isn't supporting them.
Howard read an email about the songs that they mentioned last week that were hated by the artists. Howard said the book was ''Classic Rock Stories: The Stories Behind the Greatest Songs of All Time'' by Tim Morse.
Howard said he got an email about Sussy who is out on the road on a bicycle. The emailer said he's been following Sussy on Twitter (@FoodCyclist) and so far he's only gone to 3 breweries and no farms. Howard said he's kind of jealous that Sussy is out there doing that. He said he was worried about having a family and making money at his age. Howard said these guys think it's cool until they have a kid and don't have any money or health insurance.
Howard said he has earned the right to ride a bicycle now. He said that he should be the one doing that, not Sussy. Howard said he wasn't going to go to his parents and ask to go backpacking or anything. Howard said he hears these kids talking about doing that and he thinks ''fuck you.'' Howard said when he sees a guy with a backpack he thinks he's a terrorist or a communist.
Howard said these guys think they have plenty of time to work. He said in the mean time there are people working on their careers and making money. Howard said people want to share but the people who want to share have nothing to share. Howard said it's all bullshit hippy crap. He said the organic farms are all just bullshit too. He said there's no such thing as organic. He said everything is contaminated. Robin said healthy soil and plants resist contamination.
Howard asked if anyone has heard from Sussy. Gary said he hasn't heard from him. Howard said he heard Sussy is going to stay with Richard Christy's parents. He said he hopes that they eat him. He said they might find him on the road dead and they'll eat him like road kill. Howard said they'll have some ''Sloppy Sussy.'' Howard said he likes to ride a bike but he does it on his days off. Howard said he has no bike ride today because he's working. Howard said he'd love to be riding a bike today.
Howard said if he wants to learn about farming he should go work on a farm. He's not going to learn anything riding a bicycle. He said he told Sussy that. His parents won't talk to him about that though. Howard said they'll see how he's doing in his 40s when he has nothing. He said in America you have to work. If you do something like this in China they'll take you down to a river and drown you.
Gary said when he was doing the list about the people who aren't liked he looked it up and found that Lindsay Lohan is better liked than Howard. Heidi Fleiss is better liked than Howard. Robin read more of that list and found that Paris Hilton, Rush Limbaugh, Kevin Federline, Bobby Brown and others were ahead of him. Robin said Glenn Beck was ahead of Howard. Howard said he doesn't believe it. Howard read a couple of emails about the coverage he did with the Lady Gaga concert.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how long it would take him to resurrect FM radio if he went back. Howard said he thinks he could become number 1 in about 6 months in every market they were on in before. Howard said he thinks that the new People Meter ratings thing would work very well for him. He said he had a lot of pricks who would listen to him and not write it down in the ratings books.
Howard said he would like to prove that he can do it but he won't go back unless someone there at Sirius really pisses him off. Howard said he wants to take a shitty station with zero listeners to rise out of the dirt like a phoenix. He said he'd love to get huge ratings and be a hero.
The caller asked Robin if she had any plans on taking anymore drugs. Robin said she doesn't have any plans to do that. Howard said he thinks that Robin would be fun to get high with. He said he thinks that she could be talked into doing it.
Howard said he read that they had a survey that they did about the Osama death and 20 percent of the people in the country think it was wrong to do it. Robin said they should round up those people.
Robin read about how Pippa Middleton was photographed topless and the pictures are all over the web. Gary said it appears she was adjusting her top and she untied it and put it back on. Robin wondered why her friends would do that. Howard said they're not really her friends. Howard, Robin and Gary all spent a minute talking about that. Gary asked Robin if she's ever taken her top off on a trip. Robin said of course she hasn't.
Robin read a story about Northwestern University canceling a human sexuality class they put on last year. Robin said they had an explicit sex demonstration with a woman and a sex toy. Howard said they don't need to be doing that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she went out backpacking like Howard was complaining about earlier. Howard asked her a few questions about who paid for it and things like that and said he didn't have a problem with her. She paid for it herself. Howard asked if she felt bad about taking the money to go to college. Howard said her parents must have been thrilled that she was out backpacking. Howard said she should have gotten a job and paid her parents back. She asked Howard why he didn't pay his parents back. Howard said he went out and worked. Howard told the woman to stop smoking too. She said she doesn't smoke. Howard said he hears something. The woman said she doesn't smoke and Howard is wrong about the backpacking thing. Howard said he's very well thought out.
Howard lectured the woman on how to go to college and look for a job after college. The caller said that it's a valuable educational experience to go out backpacking. Howard said she's a very fascinating woman and hung up on her.
Robin got back to her news and read about how they're shooting Men in Black 3 and the trailer that Will Smith is using is so big that it's taking up too much space on the street. Robin said he has a 53 foot trailer for living in and a 55 foot trailer for a gym. Howard said Will Smith has worked hard and he can afford many luxuries. Howard said he has trailers so big that they're taking up all of this space on the street in the city. He said the trailer is so large it's blocking the business on the block. Howard said the guy doesn't need two trailers that big in New York City. He has to be respectful. Robin said the trailer is bigger than a lot of apartments. Howard said they can actually extend the trailer to 2 stories. Robin said the thing smells like gas too. Robin said he has an apparent a couple of blocks away he could go to. Howard said the city is allowing this but it's excessive. Howard said they're willing to put up with the disruption of a movie set but this is too much. Howard said the businesses are trying to make a living and they're blocking it with 55 foot trailers. Howard said the normal trailer is very nice. He said Will could live in that for a few weeks. They went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:45am, Robin got back to her news and read about the Cannes film festival and some of the movies that are going to be shown there. Robin mentioned one about Princess Diana and how they think they're covering up her death. Fred played the Red Peters ''Diana'' song while Robin talked about that. Robin and Howard spent a minute talking about that story. Howard said he doesn't think there's any conspiracy theory about Diana's death.
Robin read about Whitney Houston returning to rehab. She has apparently turned herself in. Robin said they say that her behavior became kind of bizarre before she went back in. Robin said it got her into trouble with Prince. She has been banned from Prince concerts because of that.
Robin read about Shania Twain's new TV show on the OWN network. Robin said it was the highest rated show on OWN since the start of the year. Robin said it had better ratings than even the show about Chaz.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has the Sirius app on his phone and he loves it. Howard said he loves the mobility of the app too. The guy said he can cut the grass and listen to him. Howard said it's great.
Robin said they had a guy on a plane trying to open an emergency door while in flight. Howard said he saw a guy on the subway who got naked and started screaming the N-word and something about the News. He was looking violent and a cop pounced on him. He said it was insane. Robin wondered what's going on in the air that these people are losing their minds. Robin read about some other ones where people were trying to breach the cockpit door and things like that. Howard said he's not sure what he would do if he was on one of those flights. He said he might tell someone else to get involved. Howard said he's not sure how to deal with this crazy behavior. During that discussion Fred kept playing Benjy clips where he was screaming like a crazy person.
Robin read about a NY Rangers player, Sean Avery, who did a PSA for gay marriage and the NHL is defending someone else who criticized Avery for coming out for gay marriage. Howard said he doesn't get who would come out against it. Howard said he doesn't know why anyone even cares. Howard said if you're fore the sanctity of marriage then be for everyone getting married.
Robin read a story about the Presbyterian church is going to ordain gay people after denying them for years.
Howard asked Robin if she dyes her dreads. Robin said she does. They were red but Howard thought they were blonde. Robin said they're read and it's just a few strands.
Robin read about how the Daytime Emmy Award nominations are coming out today. Many of the soaps that are nominated are being canceled. Robin wondered what shows would be up for nominations if they cancel all of these soaps. Howard said he doesn't understand who sits and watches that stuff all day long.
Robin read about Osama bin Laden's son coming out and saying that Obama was wrong for illegally killing their dad. Howard said the guy blew up the World Trade Center and admitted it. Robin said that Rosie O'Donnell has come out and said he deserved a trial. Howard said he could have turned himself in if he wanted a trial. He said we're at war and there is no trial in war. Robin said the sons say their father should have been arrested and put on trial. Howard said they gave him a trial. A trial to try and run from a bullet.
Robin read about how the republicans are trying to find the person to run for President in 2012. Robin ha some audio of Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels talking about how they think they can succeed if they have the right candidate.
Robin read about Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver getting a divorce. Arnold has come out and said they still love each other very much. Howard said that's just not the truth. He said you don't get a divorce if you're in love. Robin said that he loves his parents and doesn't live with them. Howard said that's a good point.
Robin read about what Maria has been up to lately and how she may have been giving hints about what's going on with the marriage. She had posted some stuff in march about being in ''transition'' and things like that. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Howard said that was no hint. If she said ''Fuck Arnold Schwarzenegger'' then that would be a hint. Howard said she seems like kind of a drag. He said Arnold is looking for fun.
Robin read about a wrapper named Common who was invited to the White House for a dinner. Sarah Palin sent out a Tweet pointing to a story about the rapper's lyrics. Howard said he's surprised that Sarah Palin can even understand the lyrics. Robin said Palin is the one who had a bullseye on some congress people including the one who got shot. Howard said she's just a celebutard.
Robin read about Billy Ray Cyrus and how he has said that he's learned a lot from his family. She had some audio of him talking about that. Robin said that he has reconciled both relationships with his wife and daughter. Howard said this is a guy who got famous for his mullet.
Robin read about Apple tracking people with their iPhones and iPads. They were in front of congress talking about that. They say they have fixed the ''bug'' in their operating system. Howard said he didn't care if they were tracking him.
Robin said the movie Bridesmaids is coming out this week and someone told her that the movie is very funny. Robin said the person who told her about it was from OutQ and said he almost peed his pants because it was so funny. Robin had some audio of Kristin Wiig talking about the movie. Howard didn't have the patience to listen to that.
Robin had some audio of Will Ferrall talking about his new movie. Howard played a few seconds of that. Will was talking about reading the script so Howard stopped it and said ''Who knew he read the scripts...'' They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:05am.
Jon went over some of the other things they were going to cover today and talked to Benjy about how he and Ronnie have been fighting. Jon said they'd get to that later though.
Gary said he was fascinated with Dennis Rodman talking about going out with strippers and thinking he's the same kind of guy that Howard is. Gary said it's like Dennis doesn't know who Howard is at all. Gary said people think Howard is like that but he's really not.
Jon said with Dennis Rodman, he's in love with the Howard Stern he thinks he knows. He said it's kind of weird because Dennis wants Howard to be that guy and he's not that guy. Gary said Howard just laughs and let Dennis talk about it like he's doing it.
Jon asked if Dennis is a misunderstood guy. Gary said he is but it's his own doing. Jon said he was the best rebounder and defender he's ever seen. He said he started that whole other persona that he has today and that's where he went wrong. Gary said he's not sure if he was being guided correctly. He said it might be the same with Lady Gaga. He said that they will love you and love you and then there will be a backlash.
Gary said he thinks that it bothers Dennis a little bit that people look at him in a way that he doesn't look at himself. Jon and Gary talked about his history and how he was on the court and off the court.
Jon asked Gary if he was surprised by some of the stuff he was saying about the coaches being father figures in his life. Gary said a lot of guys in sports are like that. They spend a lot of time with coaches and it can be like a father figure.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he'd like to hear them do a game with Dennis and see if he's as dumb as he sounds. The caller said the guy is functional but he thinks he has brain damage. Gary said he doesn't think he has brain damage. He thinks that maybe he's not fully mature. Benjy said he has something going on with his speech and maybe that's what the caller is taking as him sounding dumb. Gary said his answers are articulate when he's talking. Gary didn't think the game would work and he's not going to do it just for the caller. the caller said it would be for the audience, not just him. Gary thanked him and said he'd bring it up.
Jon and Gary talked about Sal and Richard calling in with the audio clips of Leon Spinks and Joe Frazier. They also talked about Dennis being inducted into the hall of fame and how they think he deserves it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he remembered the time Dennis called in while he was getting a blow job once. He asked if they talked about that today. Jon said Howard didn't bring that up today.
Another caller said he thought it was unusual that they were playing the clips during the phone calls. He said Joe Frazier and Leon Spinks can't talk so does Howard think Dennis is in that league? Gary said they were just goofing around. Gary said he doesn't think it was that well thought out.
Benjy said he'd like to have a friendly relationship with Ronnie. Ronnie said he always has. He said he's not against him. Ronnie was kind of subdued today according to Jon. Ronnie said he and Benjy are fine. He said they had a nice conversation in the hall. He said they did it in front of the cameras of course. He said Benjy thinks that everyone is against him but they're not. Ronnie said people think he's out of his mind and he could bring them all in now and they'd tell him that. Gary said there are probably 3 people in the studio now that could tell him that.
Benjy said he wishes that he didn't care about what Ronnie thinks. He said he has a weakness though. He said he cares what people think. He said it matters to him for the most part. Jon said that most people there are like that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie is kind of a slave to his past behavior and it's hard to tell when he's being crazy. Gary said he might apply that to Benjy but not Ronnie. Gary said Benjy used to do shtick a lot and he would never give up the shtick he was doing. He said you start to think ''what's real and what's not.'' He said he still doesn't know how old Benjy really is. He said he thinks that Benjy finds that funny and he keeps it going.
The caller said Fred used to be his gauge for what's funny but now Benjy is his gauge and he waits to hear his laughs. Gary said Jackie was his gauge because everything was funny to him.
Jon asked Benjy if he doesn't give out his home address to anyone there. Benjy said that's not true. Jim McClure said that he has heard here was some trouble. Benjy said that wasn't true though. Jim said he was sorry for having the wrong information then. They had to go to break after that.
Jon had Sal in the studio to talk about the audio clips they were using on the show this morning. Gary asked if they used those particular people because of the way Dennis speaks. Sal said that it was just about sports and legendary athletes. Sal said he fell for it too so it was great.
Jon said it seemed like Dennis was identifying with Howard about the crazy guy thing. He wondered if Sal thinks that's confusing to people about Howard. Sal said there are people who have no idea what the show is about and some people think he's crazy like that. He said that's the furthest thing from what Howard really is.
Gary asked if Sal thought that was what Howard was like before he started working there. Sal said it wasn't that shocking to find out what he was really like. Sal said he prefers the guy on the microphone and not the guy off the mic. He said when Howard laughs off the air he thinks that maybe he's putting that on.
Sal said he remembers doing a game called ''What Do You Hate About Gary'' and he remembers Howard changing it from ''hate'' to ''most annoying'' because he felt hate was too strong of a word. He said that's the kind of thing you see behind the scenes.
Jon asked Sal about hanging out with Howard off the air and asking to stay at his place that one time. Sal said he thought he was getting along with him really well and figured he'd ask. Sal said he still can't see who Howard really is but he tries. He said he's learned to stay as far away from the lion as possible. He said he's learned to watch is p's and q's but he doesn't know what that even means.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they don't just do an hour long show after Howard's show and just add a commercial. Gary said they could do that but he feels like they get to everything that they need to. He said some days they were going too long when Howard would end the show at 10:20 and they'd go until Noon. He said he thinks that they get to everything except when Larry King showed up. He said they could have asked him a lot more but as a general rule they get to everything.
Jon said the rule has been lifted but they won't go long every day. Gary said they need a real reason to go long.
Jon said that Howard was saying that Tim will make up stories about conversations they had. Gary said the truth lies between Howard and Tim's stories. He said that sometimes he'll see Howard nodding his head and Tim takes that as a yes but it's like Howard doesn't hear it completely.
Jon brought up Howard going off about Sussy going out riding his bike and about people going out and back packing. He asked Gary where he stands on that. Gary said he thinks that people should go out and enjoy it for a while before going out and working. He said taking a full year off is a little too much.
Sal said he went and stayed with his aunt in Italy for a while after school. He said that he had a mental breakdown over there though. He said he tried to kiss a girl over there and she said he had to meet her parents first. He said the Italians over there have this uptight attitude about America. He said it pissed him off. They tried to convince him that the real America was over there. He said he couldn't wait to leave Italy because it was so horrible over there.
Jon said he lived in a van for a year and he doesn't regret it at all. He said he went to work for an ad agency after that. Jon said he didn't have a wife and kids at the time so he didn't have anything to worry about. He said it was one of the best times in his life.
Benjy said he left and went to his parents after school. He said he broke up with a girl and got devastated. Gary asked if he was looking for work. Benjy said he went to work at a radio station. They had to take another break a short time later.
Jon took another call from a guy who tried to plug a band. Jon hung up on him before he could get it out. Another caller told the guys about what his friend did going out and doing a triathalon and how that kind of thing can work on a resume. Jon said that Sussy isn't going to go in the job market after this. Gary said he thinks he wants to own his own farm and learn along the way.
Jon said it does give you something to talk about when you see it on a resume. Jon said you never know what people are going to identify with on a resume.
Jon brought up the Arnold Schwarzenegger call they got today and how great that imitation is. He said he's fooled a lot of them a lot of times. Gary said he thinks that he's been on the show one other time on Sirius. He said that he talked about blowing up the moon and they got that in the news as if it were a real thing. Sal said that guy is good and he fooled George Takei with the gay marriage thing once. Jon said it's not hard to fool George.
Gary said that Arnold has done the show long enough that he thinks that people would believe that the fake one is the real guy. Gary said he thinks that the real Arnold will call the show now that he's not governor.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard listens to his own show. He said that he was wondering why he's on that list of advertisers that don't want him. Gary said that Johnny Knoxville does some crazy stuff but he got a national commercial. They had to rush through that discussion because they had to end the show.
Howard started the show talking about the Chaz Bono documentary getting big ratings for the OWN network. He said it was pretty huge for them. Howard said Rosie is going to start over on OWN soon. He said he read that Rosie's show is going to be broadcast on radio too. He said she'll still be on radio in some way. Robin said she heard she wasn't going to be doing the live show anymore.
Howard said he heard that Oprah was getting Rosie and he wasn't sure why. Howard said Rosie did the follow up to the documentary for Chaz. He said maybe she wanted to do it. Robin said Oprah's whole TV show is promoting her new network. She doesn't mention Sirius at all. Howard said that's what they get for $50 million. Robin said it seems that they're easing Rosie into her regular show.
Howard said he hopes Rosie does okay but he hopes she sees that Oprah is using her and she gets pissed and starts bad mouthing her. Howard said that would be great. He said he'd go on her show if she did that. Robin said she would too. She's on Howard's side.
Howard said any business relationship starts out good and then it goes sour. He said it would be great if Rosie and Oprah got into a fist fight. He said his money would be on Rosie even though Oprah is a big girl.
Howard said he watched the rest of ''The Voice'' that he had DVR'd. He said he likes the show better than American Idol. He said he wishes that Steven Tyler would come in. He said he wants to talk about how they don't say anything negative to the singers. He said Steven wouldn't say anything negative about one girl last night and she was horrible. Robin said Steven won't say a negative thing at all. Howard said Steven is a true artist and he can do it all. He said he might think that telling an artist they're not good is crushing to them. Howard said Steven has no trouble saying something negative about Joe Perry though.
Howard said Joe is against all of this stuff Steven is doing. He said he'd love to get the two of them on the show to talk about all of this. He said he'd love to work all of that shit out. Robin said Joe must see that it's helping sell some records. Howard said it's the legacy of the band that Joe might be worried about. Howard said he's not even sure why he's speaking for Joe.
Howard said he thinks that they've tried to get Joe on the show. He said he was invited to Joe's house in Vermont a few years ago and he never did make it up there. He said he seems like such a good guy too. Howard said he'd be afraid of going all the way up there and then figure out he didn't want to be there. He said he's not sure what he'd do up there.
Howard said his kids ask why he won't go skiing. Howard said he is full of fear and he was never really fearless. He said he's so fearful that he didn't crawl as a baby. He would bounce on his ass. Howard said his mother tells him about that. He said he saw films of him doing it. Howard said that's why his ass is flat like a pancake.
Howard said he went to school and never distinguished himself. He said he has shaded his entire view of himself. He said he didn't crawl, he bounced. Howard said he doesn't know when he started walking. He said that would mean a real conversation with his mother to find out. He said he tries to keep things light.
Howard said he told his daughter that he just couldn't risk breaking a leg going skiing. He said he has to work. He said his mother would go off on him if he wanted to do something like that. She told him about his cousin fucking up his knee skiing so she'd tell him about that and scare him away from it.
Robin said Fred takes his daughter skiing. Howard said ''Good for him.'' He asked Fred if he's a good skier. Fred said he's just okay. He started late, like 5 years ago. Howard said he couldn't learn to ride a bike now that he's this age. He said he learned it when he was 5 and that's when you should learn.
Howard asked Robin if she rides a bike. Robin said of course she does. Howard said he can't imagine Robin doing that. Robin said she lived on a dead end street when she was growing up so she didn't have any traffic to deal with. Howard said he finds it really strange that Robin doesn't know how to swim. He said he thinks that's nuts.
Robin said someone asked if Howard had ever gone to Cannes for the film festival. She said he went for one day. Howard said he went for a day but then went to Monaco. Howard said he was told that no one would know him there so he could walk around without being noticed. Howard said he played into that and went but it was a bunch of horse shit that he didn't want to be noticed. He said he lives to be noticed. He said not being noticed is horrible. He said being noticed is great.
Howard said he has been ''not famous'' and no one talked to him. Howard said everyone wants to be around him now. Howard said he lived in Detroit and had zero ratings. People would ask him what he did for a living and they had no idea the station even existed anymore. He said he'd want to hang himself at parties. Howard said he would be rejected by fat chicks at parties. That's not fun. Howard said he would go to parties and smoke to look cool. He said no one would even look at him. Robin said she's sure that's not what was going on. Howard said all of his friends would hook up but not him. Howard said it was a slam dunk for his buddies but not for him.
Howard said he went to Monaco to the zoo and within 2 minutes a bunch of Americans saw him there and recognized him. Howard said he liked being noticed there. He said he doesn't want to be alone. Howard said not being famous isn't that great.
Robin said Howard was telling her about Kidd Chris. Howard said he had a free food event and they didn't have anyone show up. Then he got fired. Howard said that's reality. He said he told Chris that he should take all of the food and hibernate with it. Howard said he told him to take all of the food home so he could be prepared to be fired.
The caller said he's never been skeeved out by anyone more than Chaz Bono. Howard said if you want to transform into an ape he doesn't care. He said that's all fine with him and he'll support you. He said it's like watching a train wreck with Chaz though. He said she really has to lose some weight. Howard said he's always wearing a suit or in his underwear with no shirt on. The caller said he's fine with people fawning over this guy but it's like they're fawning over the disfigured nipples that don't have any feeling and things like that.
Howard said guys are creeped out by the transgender thing now instead of the whole homosexual thing. He said people are getting used to homosexuals and getting creeped out by the transgender.
JD came in and told Howard about some of the stuff in the show and how she sits around writing her book and playing video games. Howard said that's very manly. Robin said she has to stop calling her a ''she'' because she gets very upset with that.
Howard said Chaz should go out and bike like Sussy. Howard said Cher has to be upset with the whole thing. She sits around doing nothing and Cher should tell her to stop cutting her tits off and do something with her life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he learned how to surf and snow ski and he's been doing it for years and he hasn't gotten hurt. Howard said he has nothing to lose. Howard said he has to think about his job. Robin said Howard could have learned to ski as a kid. Howard said he never would have been able to do that. He said his father would have yelled at him. Robin said he could have gone with his friends. Howard said he had no friends. He said he was shaking in his pants. Howard said it's just not in the cards for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that he's being naive about the Osama bin Laden thing and what the government is telling us. He said there are a lot of changes to the story. Howard said that's true but he believes he's dead. The caller said he thinks that he's dead but they don't have any evidence. Howard said he believes he's dead.
Howard said if you have all of this mistrust about your country then we're doomed. Howard said he trusts that Obama was born in this country and that Osama is dead. Howard said he knows that OJ killed Nicole and he just believes it and trusts in it. He wasn't there but he saw the trial. He said he didn't see every bit of it but he thinks he did it. Howard said he didn't go to the moon either but he believes we were there. Howard said he believes that they killed bin Laden. Howard said he believes the birth certificate too.
Howard said we should get some other kind of government going if we don't believe this stuff. Howard said that people think 9/11 was planned by the government. He said he doesn't believe that Bush would do that just so he could go into Iraq. He said you can believe it if you want but he doesn't.
The caller said there are people who think that the government wanted to test our atom bomb so they let pearl Harbor happen. Howard said he doesn't even think about that stuff. Howard said people waste their time so much with things like that. He said you're never going to know about those things even if you think they were a conspiracy.
Howard said he tries to give to local charities so you can keep an eye on things. He said if everyone did that it would be awesome. He said you can monitor things going on in your community and you would see results. Howard said he can't tell you what went on in Pearl Harbor. He said he's not going to know about it. Howard said he looks for things in his local area and gets involved to a degree. He said he has gotten involved in certain things but it's very rare.
Howard said he believes that the government is basically telling us the truth about the moon and Osama bin Laden. He said he can't spend anymore time with conspiracy. Robin said you'd have to believe that everyone is lying about all of this stuff. Howard asked why anyone would do that. He said maybe it's to get the president reelected. If that's the case then the guy is a genius.
Howard said people are applauding him for doing that too. He said maybe his next bike ride will be to learn about nuclear power plants. Howard said Sussy would throw up if he was actually working on a farm for a year. Howard said the plants will get eaten in no time and he'll be spraying them down with insecticides in no time.
Howard said if he really sent Sussy out to a farm to work he'd be done with it in no time. He said farming is tough and you have to work your ass off. Howard said all of the farmers out there are trying to get out of farming. He said Sussy doesn't know what a farm is. Howard said the guy is riding his bike around for a year and it's just another year he won't know about farming.
Howard said people he knew in school wanted to go right to NBC instead of going to the smaller stations to see what radio was like. Howard said he knew better and he knew what he had to do. He went to the shittiest radio station in the country where they didn't care what he played or what he said.
Howard said he loves Steve Jobs and if he went around riding a bicycle to learn about computers, we wouldn't be where we are now. Howard said he downloaded the show Robin told him about called ''Being Human.'' He said he liked it. He thanked Robin for turning him on to that.
Howard said that if Lance Armstrong wanted to be the best bicycle rider and went out and worked on a farm, he never would have gotten where he is. Howard said it's fine if Sussy doesn't want to work in radio but he doesn't have to go out bicycling. Howard said it's fine to go out bike riding on vacation or on the weekends. Howard said he's not going to pay Sussy to go out on his bike ride. Robin said there are people who get sponsors. Howard wondered who would sponsor these people. Howard said if these people actually worked on a farm they wouldn't have time for all of this nonsense.
Howard said his dad didn't even carry pictures of him in his wallet. They didn't care about showing people pictures of their kids. Robin said she knows what he means. You think that people are proud of their kids and they want to show them off. Howard said they weren't into that at all. Howard said his dad looks at him like he's from the moon when he tells him that.
Howard said his parents are so proud of not being attached. They were going to throw out their photo albums so they wouldn't have clutter. He said they were going to throw them out or give them to him. Howard said he thinks it makes them sad to look at pictures.
Howard said his dad showed up with the cans of film and said he was going to throw them away. Howard said he wanted to keep them all. He said it seemed terrible that he was going to throw them out. Howard said his parents are so proud when they throw things out. He said his mother gave away all of his comic books to clear up clutter. He said his neighbor Robert Tobiason got all of his comic books.
Howard said it's better than being a hoarder. He said his mother saved everything and saved every ''Life'' magazine thinking that she'd have a gold mine. Gary said he had to get a dumpster to throw all of that stuff out. He said he got a huge dumpster and his mother had saved every New York Times magazine section for a certain time. She said she was going to read them when he was throwing them away. Gary said she told him they were valuable too. Gary said he asked ''to who?''
Gary said his mother would hoard gifts and give them the same gift over and over. Gary said his mother would tell his father that she had put a shirt in the wash and he would see it again. Then she'd gift it to him again some other time.
Gary said they were throwing all of this stuff away and they were breaking stuff that would make his mother whimper. He said she would grab a box now and then to keep it. He said it was really bad. Gary said there were scrap books and things that his mother never got around to finishing. He said his buddy Frank helped them fill the dumpster and he almost had to order another one even though they had stacked it just right to maximize it.
Howard said Ronnie had to clean up for his mother too. Ronnie said his mother would buy gifts and never give them out. He said that they would find gifts wrapped that she never gave to anyone. Ronnie said the closets were full and things would fall out of them when you opened the door. He said he found money all over the house too. He said she would forget about the money. He said it was crazy.
Ronnie said his mother would buy canned goods and she had about a 10 year supply in the house. He said there were cans that had exploded from being so old. He said he got a company to show up with an empty dumpster. He was throwing shit out the window. He said the apartment was a small place but she had it packed so much that he had to have two trucks come. He said he threw out hundreds of bags and it was just unbelievable.
Gary said his mother had a closet full of boxes full of boxes. He said that was half of the closet. It was just boxes in boxes. Gary said his mother would wipe up water on the counter and then spread out the paper towels to dry. He said he told her that she didn't have to save them. Gary said his mother had a gift reserve and she would give them to people who showed up at the house if she liked them.
Ronnie said he had to throw out the whole refrigerator from his mom's place. He said it was so full of shit. He said she saved all of the paperwork from his father's trucking company. He said he just threw everything out and didn't look through it. Gary said his mother kept nail polish in the refrigerator. She thought it kept it fresh in there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he married a hoarder and they have a crawl space that's full of stuff. He said you can't even crawl in there. Howard asked if he's thinking of divorcing his wife. The guy said it has caused problems. He said his wife got a piano and they already had a piano. Howard said it must be like a hunger to want to keep all of that stuff.
Ronnie said his mother stayed at his house for a while and he went over and cleaned out her apartment then. He said he threw out everything he could and 5 years later it was worse than ever. She filled it right back up. Ronnie said she had accumulated 5 years worth of shit and it was bad. He said it was nuts.
Gary said he had to help his mother have a tag sale and people were recognizing him and were buying stuff from his childhood. He said they were going through her boxes and finding essays he wrote in 7th grade. He said he had to buy some stuff back and it was really embarrassing. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he had Antonio Sabato Jr. on the phone. He picked up on him and said he used to watch his reality show before. Antonio said he appreciates that. He said he's happy for Howard too. Howard said this guy is hot but he never really got true A-list pussy. Antonio said he's been with Pamela Anderson and some other women who have been on the show.
Howard said he wasn't doing this intentionally. He said he was reading the list of women he banged and they were good looking but not A-list. Howard said Pam was A-list though. Howard asked when he got her. Antonio said he was with her when she was on Baywatch in the last season.
Howard said he was critical about the name of Antonio's child. Antonio said that was his wife's family that wanted that. He said this name is a family name. The name is Kamakanaalohamaikalani Harvey Sabato.
Howard asked Antonio to spell the name for him. Antonio was able to do it. Howard said he was right after he spelled it out. Howard said he thought it was a cry for attention since he's in show business. Antonio said it's really not like that. Howard said he's against this middle name. Antonio said he never thought he'd be talking to Howard about this type of thing.
Antonio said they're not going to call him by that name every day. Howard asked why they threw Harvey in there. Antonio said that it's his fiancee's father's name. He said this child is a miracle child too. He said she had some tumors removed when they first got married and she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant.
Antonio told Howard this girl is so hot that he doesn't want another woman. He said he's slept with enough women in his life. Howard said a chick has to be hot to be with him. Antonio said she's beautiful on the outside and the inside. Howard asked what he's going to do when a model comes up rubbing his dick. Antonio said that she's great in bed and they have sex just about every day and even did it through most of the pregnancy.
Howard said he noticed that Antonio is pretty heavily shaved on that show he was on. Antonio said he's a little hairy in some areas but he doesn't shave, he trims. Howard asked when he's going to get married. Antonio said they were going to do it around this time but with the child they're going to wait awhile.
Howard asked if this new chick is normal because he's been with some nutty chicks. Antonio said she's very normal.
Howard said Benjy banged one of the chicks from his reality show. Benjy said he dated her, he didn't just bang her. Benjy said he took her out to diner and things like that. He said he went out with her for a couple of months. Benjy didn't see them getting married so they broke up. He said she was a great girl though.
Howard asked Antonio if he thought about marrying Pam Anderson. Antonio said she had too much going on around her. He said he slept with her a couple of times and it was great. He said her body was perfect and she was very sweet too. He mentioned that she had nice feet so Howard asked about that. Antonio said he's into feet and thought Howard was too. Howard said he does like nice feet but he's not obsessed with them. Antonio said he's not either.
Howard said Antonio is a good looking dude so he must be into looks. Antonio said you have to like a chick and it has to be to your taste. Howard said Antonio works hard on his body. He used to do like 2000 sit ups every day.
Howard asked if he's ever had a smelly chick. Antonio said he did once but he won't say what her name is. He said you might change things up and not go down there. Antonio said that some girls don't have the best eating habits and that could be part of the problem. Howard said he might be catching a whiff of ass. Antonio sounded like he was cringing. Antonio asked if Howard is into anal. Howard said he's really not. He said he's done it a few times but he's not into it. Antonio said he's not either.
Howard asked Antonio about turning off the party and how hard that's going to be. Antonio said he knows what he wants and this girl does it for him. Howard said he thinks that Antonio will do the right thing and marry this girl. He said he's going to have to change his attitude though. He said he'll have to become like a priest.
Howard asked where he lives. Antonio said he's outside of L.A. now. He said he used to party really hard but he's done with that. He used to do crystal meth at one time. He said he was dating a girl who got him into that. He said that he thought it was something he could get off of easy but 3 years later he was still doing it. He said he just stopped himself from doing it and he's been clean for about 8 years now.
Howard asked if he's working. Antonio said he's got some work and some movies coming out. He said he doesn't have enough money to retire but he's working on it.
Howard said he's cool with the whole middle name for the kid now. He understands why they gave it the name. Howard asked if his wife's feet are so hot he gets a foot job. Antonio said he doesn't do that but he does like looking at her feet. He said they play around a bit in bed and those feet in nice shoes is great.
Howard saw a picture of the girlfriend and said they're like the two best looking people on the planet. Antonio said his father was a big actor in Italy. Howard said he was like the Tom Cruise of Italy. Antonio said he got a job on a soap and worked in New York where he listened to Howard.
Howard asked Antonio if he got turned down by Britney Spears. Antonio said that didn't happen but he has tried to get dates through his publicist.
Howard said Antonio seems like a real great guy. Antonio thanked him for that. He said he's been with this woman for like 2 years now and things are going good. He said out in L.A. things change constantly so that's a long relationship.
Howard asked if Antonio would dump his girl if she was in a horrible car accident. Antonio said he would get in the same accident so they're both horribly disfigured. Howard thanked him for the call and wished him luck with the child. Howard gave him a plug and said that he's on Twitter @AntonioSabatoJr. He said he's going to follow him on there. Howard said he'd love to know who the smelly pussy chick was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that interview as great. Howard said his reality show was great. He said his mother used to talk about the chicks he was dating. He said it was a great show.
Howard asked if JD had pulled the clips. Gary said they were on the system. Howard played some of the audio of this guy talking about his son and how full of shit he is. He was talking about how he put his balls on the line for his kid and crap like that.
Howard said it sounds like this guy is just trying to get his own TV show. Gary said that's exactly what he's trying to do. Howard played some more clips of the guy talking about the people on Jersey Shore.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't possibly feel bad for The Situation. Howard said he really did. The guy said that The Situation isn't a good guy either. Howard said he doesn't know that much about the guy but the dad going out and criticizing his son is wrong. You don't do that to your children. The caller said he is a douche. Howard said the kid has to be out of his fucking mind after this. Howard said his parents have class and they'd never do anything like that. Howard said parents can be so intrusive. He said he felt it was an unusual thing to be doing.
Howard asked if the guys can imagine his dad going on the web and bad mouthing the guys he works with. He did an impression of his dad talking about the guys on the show and how fat Jason is and that Robin is a drug addict and things like that. He had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was listening to some stuff on Jeopardy and he's like the only answer in radio questions. He said he was thinking about it and no one else is known well enough. He said if you hear ''Shock Jock'' you know the answer is Howard Stern. He said he takes pride in that. Howard said Imus or Rush Limbaugh might be an answer too. He said that you don't think of that many people in radio like that.
Howard played a clip from Jeopardy where they had the answer ''No big shock, he's the radio personality seen here in his high school year'' and it was Howard Stern.
Howard said people complained about the channel changes there. He said he's not even sure why they did that. Robin said Roger Ebert is upset about it because one of the channels he liked disappeared. Howard said Roger wanted it back but you can't keep a channel for just one person. He said they do have some weird music there at Sirius.
Howard played another clip from Jeopardy where Howard was the answer again. It was a question about his height.
Howard had another clip from a local TV show that was similar to Jeopardy. They also had a Howard Stern question. Howard said this is the show where the kids didn't know any of the other radio answers. They only knew Howard Stern.
Howard said Sal and Richard made a phony phone call that he didn't play on the air. He didn't think it worked. He said they used Lynn Samuels audio clips. Howard said they like it when he calls them ''the boys'' back there. He said they're never going to be ''the men'' because they're so immature. He said he should call them the Mental Patients.
Howard said Sal and Richard made this call and it's a long one. He said they spoke to an author about different fuels and stuff and they pretended to play video games the whole time. This was another Jack and Rod Show bit they did. Howard played the bit. In the bit they were talking to this author about his book and he was going on and on about that while they played video games. They had a bunch of video game sound effects and they pretended to be playing online like the guys at the gaming convention Wolfie went to the other day. They came up with characters based on Ronnie, Jon Hein, JD, Robin, Jason, Steve Langford and others. They had the doctor on the phone helping them get through the game giving them suggestions on how to play. The guy eventually said he had enough and hung up.
Howard said that call went on for like an hour and they had to cut it down. Howard said finally the guy got upset. He said it was crazy. Robin said you'd think that he'd catch on fast. Howard said he was told that the call went on for 40 minutes. Robin asked how they had all of the stuff in the can ready to play the game. Howard said that's just what they do.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that on Good Morning America this morning they had a Osama bin Laden story and they think that the guy isn't dead. Howard said it could have been a hoax because there was a guy years ago who would get on shows and pull the hoax thing. The caller said they should get JD on that and pull the clip.
The caller said he saw Lebron James getting in trouble for saying ''that's retarded'' during a game. He said he got fined for that. Howard said he understands why people are upset about the use of the word but to fine someone over it is absurd.
Gary said Will told him he wasn't fined for saying ''retarded,'' he was fined for challenging the referees. Howard said he thinks that the retarded thing probably made it worse.
Howard let the caller go and had Bobo on the line. Bobo asked Howard if he thinks he and Beth are soul mates. Howard said there is no such thing as ''soul mates.'' He said he's told him that before. Howard said there is no such thing as soul mates and if you want to have a soul mate you have to be willing to be in a relationship. He said you have to want a relationship and develop something with that person. He said you have to put the time in with that person.
Bobo said that the sex seems to be great with Howard and Beth. Howard said he doesn't know that it's good. Bobo said they don't really argue and he really misses her. Howard said he loves her but there is no such thing as a soul mate. Robin reminded Howard that Bobo has an 87 IQ so Howard gave up on trying to explain it to him. He said he'd be better off explaining it to his dog Bianca.
Howard said he had to take a break and get Adrianne Curry in there. He said she's the best person to follow on Twitter (@AdrianneCurry). Gary said she looks spectacular today too. Howard said she shows off that body on her Twitter posts. They spent a minute talking about her marrying Christopher Knight from the Brady Bunch and how Howard thinks that she's a wild child and that might not last much longer. He said he doesn't think her heart is in it. Howard said she's a gamer and she was playing naked the other day. He said he likes her because she seems like a really fun girl. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and talked about Clapton and his song for a minute. He said he doesn't think the guy ever had a coke problem.
Howard said he had a bad shirt on today and he told Ralph he wants to look cool. He said he had a sweatshirt on that was too short and it was just too small on him. He said Ralph bought it for him and he doesn't like it. He showed Robin how small it is. Robin said it's not a good look. Howard said it's gay. Robin said that's what it is and she didn't want to tell him. Howard said he wants to wear black and not white. He said it's the opposite of what he wants. Howard said he wants to wear black and look like Rob Zombie. Howard said Ralph must have shit in his ears.
Howard said he ran four miles yesterday and four the day before. He said he got on the scale and he was up to 199 pounds. He said he likes to be around 192. Howard said he thinks he's fat at 199. Howard said 192 is better than what he is now.
Howard said he'd like to look cool for a pretty girl who comes in the studio. He said Ralph isn't doing his job. he's into Geektime now. He told Tim to just end the show. He said he's not getting his work done. Howard said the guy is working on that show all the time. Howard said he wants to look like a rock guy who wears black. He said he doesn't want to look like a douche.
Doug came in with a back up shirt. He said that it was a back up shirt that Ralph had picked out. Doug said they took shots of Howard and sent them to Ralph to tell him that the look doesn't work. Howard said he should be in leather jackets and stuff. He said he should look like a biker without a bike.
Howard said he might have to get a second stylist. He said he can't fire Ralph though. Howard said he isn't trying to pick up this girl but he'd like to look nice for her.
Howard said he thinks that she's not real happy with Chris. Adrianne said that no one is happy married. Howard said he's been living with Beth for 11 years and married for 2. Adrianne laughed. She said that they do have their ups and downs.
Howard asked how old she is. She's 28 and Chris Knight is 53. Howard said it seems like there's no sex going on. Adrianne said that's true. She said it happens once in a while. Howard said he would be banging her 3 times a week minimally. Adrianne said that's because he doesn't have to deal with her every day. She said Chris is very quiet and she's very loud. She said if he farts at the grocery store she'll yell out that he just farted.
Adrianne said she has a Hitachi Magic Wand that she uses very often. She said she's 28 and she needs it often. Howard said she must be being faithful. She said she is. Howard asked if she's going to keep masturbating. Adrianne said she'd like to have a clone to fuck herself.
Howard said Adrianne got married in 2006 and things are festering. He said she's 28 and she wants sex but she's cut herself off. Howard said Chris doesn't even seem interested in her. Howard asked if she's talked to him about doing other people. She said he's very against an open marriage. She said she's cool with him going to a massage parlor where they give happy endings and things like that. Howard said he likes that attitude.
Howard said he's very possessive too so he knows where Chris is coming from. He said he would be very jealous. He said that's probably healthy to be jealous. Adrianne said jealousy does exist and she's cool with it. She said that she might start wondering if he kept going to get a hand job at a massage parlor a lot.
Howard asked if Adrianne role plays a lot. She said she pulled out all of her aces in the first couple of years. She said there's not much left to do. She said she's not the first hot chick that Chris has dated either. She said he dated Cindy Margolis years ago.
Howard asked what she did with him. She said that they did everything and she almost brought home a stripper from Russia. Howard said he loves that she's so open sexually. He said she's great to follow on Twitter.
Howard said he loves the pictures she Tweets. He said it's really fun. Adrianne said she loves Twitter and telling people what she thinks in 140 characters. She said she'll just put an ass shot up when she's done talking about Darth Vader.
Howard asked Adrianne how they're doing financially. She said they lost a lot when the economy tanked and she doesn't have enough to not work. She said she does have to work and she saves her game playing until after 5 at night. Adrianne said she plays a lot of World of Warcraft. Howard said he can't believe a chick that hot is into a game like that. Howard read about the character she plays as and asked her about that. She told Howard she's a guild master too. Adrianne said she's the leader and she's meeting some of her people tonight in Tribeca.
Howard asked if she could answer questions about World of Warcraft. She said she might be able to do that. Howard asked her some questions and Adrianne said she knows some of this stuff but not all of it. She missed most of the questions. Howard said that her minions are looking for a new guild master now.
Howard asked Adrianne about going to the conventions and dressing up. She said she loves doing that just to go. She has a Mandolorian go with her to protect her at the convention.
Howard asked if she's bursting at the seams sexually. She said she is sometimes. She said she thinks about women and men. She said she has probably fucked all of her friends in her mind at least once or twice. Robin asked if she thinks about couples that they hang out with. She said that she dos but she doesn't tell them about it.
Howard asked when she masturbates. She said she'll do it before a shower in the morning. She said the magic wand is like a jackhammer for the clit. She said she's done in a few seconds.
Howard asked how Chris isn't into her. He said he wouldn't care how annoying she was. He asked how much she weighs. She said she's about 138-142 and she's 5'10'' tall. She said she just waits for Chris to come to her now. She said she used to chase him. Adrianne said that she leaves the curtains open when they do it too. She said that their neighbor always leaves her windows open too so she'll watch and tell Chris to come watch. He always misses it though.
Howard said Adrianne has always been gay. She said she had a boyfriend before Chris but it's mostly been women.
Howard asked if she thinks she belongs with Chaz. She said she doesn't know Chaz personally. Howard said he can't believe that this guy is not banging her. He said she said on her honeymoon she saved her anal virginity for her husband. She said it was an awesome experience too.
Adrianne told Howard about going to Bora Bora for their honeymoon and how she started going at it. She said he popped a Viagra and didn't tell her. She said he lasted forever and she had to tell him to stop. She said she couldn't walk for like 2 days. She said he was hard as marble from the Viagra.
Howard asked how long it took for Chris to get in there. She said it took a while. Howard asked how she prepared. She said she's pretty clean and healthy so she timed it out. She said she was right and timed it right. Howard asked if she took a shower right before. She said she did. Adrianne said she's very cleanly with her body. She takes a couple of baths a day.
Adrianne said she had this one chick who had the smelliest vagina ever. She said she never went down on her. She said she was going to go down on her but she remembers trailing her tongue down her stomach and she could smell it. She said she finger banged her in the shower and that was the end of that. She never did her again.
Howard said he thinks that she's smelling the ass. Adrianne said the ass and the pussy can fester and it all becomes one. Howard said Beth will take a bath and he's never detected a bit of an odor on this woman. Adrianne said any woman who really cares is going to freshen up and take care of it down there.
Howard asked if she got implants. Adrianne said she did. She said she liked her boobs and she got pregnant and miscarried. She said one of her breasts got really big and the other didn't. She said she wasn't going to do anything about it until one night Chris got drunk and said that it was like being with two different women. She said she got one implant that's the smallest they make so that it wouldn't sag. Howard said he'd be upset that her husband doesn't bang her if she takes that much care of herself. Adrianne said it doesn't bother her.
Howard asked if Adrianne watches porn. She said she does. She learned that she had viruses from going on porn sties. He said she's not going to search the internet so much for porn now. Howard asked if she just whips out the vibrator in front of her husband. She said she will do that sometimes. She said that he'll wake up and ask why she's shaking the bed so much. Adrianne said Chris used to get upset with her using them but now he sees that it helps keep her off his back.
Howard asked if she's come close to cheating. Adrianne said she has been brainwashed into thinking she's a whore if she cheats so she doesn't do that. She said that she has kissed a woman but the woman came on to her in front of Chris. Howard asked if she's been approached to do another realty show. She said she has but she doesn't want to do another one with her husband. She said their relationship is volatile as it is. She said they've come close to divorcing. Howard asked what happened. Adrianne said she found a phone number of an ex girlfriend in his phone and he denied it. She said she did research and found out he was lying to her.
Adrianne said that you don't keep delving into it if you don't want to get hurt. She said she's not sure if he cheated but she didn't go after it. She said that she stays in his life and it drives the mother fucker crazy. She said she thinks that they're two totally different people and she loves him very much. Howard asked if she's in love. She said she might be out right now. She said Chris is trying to fix it. Adrianne said they're working on things and it doesn't take much for her.
Howard said Adrianne puts herself down all the time and he sees her as a prize. Howard said she's fun and she's jacking off and getting naked. He said she should be treated like a princess. Howard said he's just being honest with her. He said she shouldn't be putting herself down.
Howard asked Adrianne to give him one good reason why they should stay together. She said that it's vows and that they are the only two people who can put up with the other. Howard said it didn't sound good to him.
Robin said she has the greatest shoes on. Adrianne said her feet are not good. Howard liked them. Adrianne said the Japanese guys like her feet. She said that she has big feet and her toes are really long.
Howard said Adrianne has a Playboy TV special on this weekend. She talks to people about their sex lives and they animated it. Howard said he can't believe she's letting all of that go to waste. Howard said she can't go another 30 years without having sex. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Adrianne said she and her friends sat in a circle and talked about sex. That's what this special is about. She said there were no dudes there. Howard asked if they oiled each other. Adrianne said they didn't but they talked about the good times they had having sex. She said she once fucked Chris in a closet while the film crews were waiting for them to get changed.
Adrianne said they go to this funny XXX cartoon in the animation. She said they told a story about fucking on a tombstone in the show and she knows it's wrong but that's what she did when she was young. Howard said you can see that on Saturday night on Playboy TV on ''Celebrity Sex Tales.''
Howard said that Adrianne is also promoting an exercise belt. She said she uses it when she's playing video games. Howard said he can't imagine her gaming for 6 or 7 hours a day. She said that it's always at night. Adrianne said she takes her California medication and plays games.
Howard asked Adrianne if she's on medication. She said she's not. She said she's on a high on life though.
Howard said she's also going to Comic-Con in San Diego. She said she's just going to hang out there. Adrianne said she goes and signs autographs too. Howard gave her a plug for her Twitter account too. Howard said he has a link to see all of her pictures and he likes that too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Adrianne has ever taken a hot load on her face. She asked ''who hasn't?'' Howard said some girls don't like it in their eye. She said she hates it when it gets in your hair. Howard asked if she likes a finger in her. She said she likes that. Howard said some women don't like it because guy's fingers are dirty. Howard asked if Chris eats her ass. She said she's never had that. She said Chris is very good at eating twat. She said he's a firecracker in the sack if you can get him in there.
Another phone caller asked her to ride the Sybian. Adrianne said she knew that was coming. She said she's not sure. Howard said he wants someone to tell the truth on that thing and let him know if she's really getting off. Adrianne said she would do it if she didn't have to insert anything. Howard had Gary come in and set it up for her. Howard said she must be highly orgasmic. She said that she is but she has to be careful with the Hitachi so she doesn't desensitize herself.
Gary told Adrianne what she had to do and she said that Chris almost bought her one. Howard told her that the attachment is brand new and clean. Adrianne said she appreciates that. Howard had her get on the thing and had Gary set her up. She was wearing panties. Gary showed Adrianne how to ride the thing like a horse. He suggested that she pull up her dress and just put her underwear on there. Howard said she's very uptight. He could tell. Howard told her to take a deep breath and think about her hot neighbor. He told her to relax, calm down and get into it.
Gary started the Sybian and Howard told her to turn it up to 50 percent. Adrianne said it actually was pretty awesome. Howard told her to relax and close her eyes. Howard told Gary to turn it up to 75 percent. Adrianne was laughing and saying ''Holy shit!'' She said she felt like her whole body was getting a massage through her vagina. Howard told Gary to turn it up to 90 percent. Adrianne kept saying holy shit and wanted to get off the thing. She said she didn't want to get her dress wet. Howard told her to stay on it at 100 percent. He said its' like riding a bull, just stay on it. Adrianne said that thing is amazing and no one is lying about it.
Adrianne said she just came on that thing. She said she thinks she did anyway. She said it was probably a 7 on a scale of 10. Howard had the guys hold her up because she was wobbly. Adrianne said she would like to wear her heart rate monitor on that thing. She said that's like the Clit Commander. She said that thing is worth every dime. Howard said he's impressed. He said she's a lovely lady and she did a good job. He said he believes that thing works.
Howard gave Adrianne some plugs and she was so out of it she said she had puddle brain. Howard went over the plugs again. He said he thinks she'll have more followers after this.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said thank you to Adrianne for doing what she did. He said she looks awesome even blurry. Howard said they Tweeted a picture of her on their Twitter @SternShow too.
Adrianne told Howard she would do Beth too. Howard said he'll have to talk to her about that. Howard took some more calls and let some guys ask Adrianne some questions. One guy asked her if she's ever gotten spanked for being bad. She said they have done that kind of thing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he guarantees there are geeks all over with melted keyboards. He said this was some interview. He said he'll be following her after today. Howard said he finds her delightful. He said Robin can learn a thing or two from her. He said she might need to play that Warcraft Game at the least.
Howard told Adrianne to tell him during the break how bad things are in her marriage. He said that she can save it for off the air. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard had Mutt from Superfan Roundtable on the phone to promote tonight's show. Mutt said they'll be talking about Benjy's new prank call and the fight between Ronnie and Benjy. Howard asked Benjy if he wanted them to play the 5 minute version of his call on Superfan Roundtable. Benjy said he would like that. Howard said he thinks that it's a mistake. Howard said he gives them permission to play it. Mutt laughed. Howard said Benjy spent 11 hours on that first cut of the call. He said he can release it on Mutt's show or on the Who Gives a Shit Channel. Howard said he thinks it'll be on Mutt's show tonight. Mutt said they will debate it tonight.
Mutt said they'll cover what Howard has been talking about with Sussy and things like that too. Mutt said they'll talk about BiBi Jones and the Black On Black show and Geektime as well. That's all tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Howard played the audio and Robin was just singing and no music could be heard. Robin was making up her own pronunciations for cocaine too. Howard said she sounds better in there than in other attempts. Howard said she enjoys coming to work. Robin said she was just having fun and not paying attention. Howard replayed her singing and had Robin laughing at herself. Howard had some fun making fun of her with that. He said he liked the finger snapping too.
Howard said she should live it up, why not. Robin said she remembers changing the name of cocaine and she asked herself what she was doing. She was just in the moment and having fun. Gary said he'd have the version with the music in a minute. Howard said he likes this version. Howard said he didn't even know the words like Robin did.
Robin got to her news and said that they did a study about crotch length and if it can determine virility. She said it's the distance from where your anus ends and where your genitals start. She said they call it the Ano-genital distance. Howard said that area is called the taint. Robin read the details of that study.
Gary told Howard he had the music with Robin's voice. Howard played that but he liked the version without the music. He said she was on key though.
Robin read more about the ano-genital distance study. Howard said Sal and Richard want to measure their distance. Richard came in and said he needs Sal to measure him. Howard had Sal come in to measure. Howard said Sal can get his hands on Richard naked again. Richard wasn't sure how to measure. Robin said it's from the anus to the scrotum. Pretty simple really. Sal measured and said it was an inch and a half. Howard told Sal to get measured too. Sal laid down and Richard measured his ano-genital distance. He had two inches. Richard said he was stretched out. Howard told him to see if he could fit his penis in his anus too. Richard and Sal left after that.
Howard took some calls and one guy thinks that Robin is thinking about trying cocaine after that trip to Peru. Howard said he thinks that she might be thinking of that after her Ayahuasca thing.
Howard had Debbie the Pet Lady on the phone. She asked if she could call in whenever she wants. Howard said she can. She said that she has a bunch of people harassing her and she has to yell at them. She said she's not going away and that was about it.
Robin said Oprah Winfrey is going to have a street named after her. Howard said he's kind of turned off by the Oprah worship. He said it's a little odd to name a street after her.
Robin read about Jillian Michaels from Biggest Loser adopting a child from the Congo. Howard said he likes that. He thought about what that would look like.
Robin read that Johnny Depp is writing a song with Steven Tyler. They're collaborating on songs. Robin read about what Depp was saying about that.
Gary said that Adrianne Curry tweeted about her Sybian ride and said that it changed her life. Howard said she had to sit sideways on the couch after that ride so she didn't ruin her dress by getting it wet.
Robin read about the John Gotti movie and how they've signed Al Pacino to do that. Howard said he still doesn't think that movie is going to get made.
Robin said that Gary Coleman still isn't buried. She said there's an estate battle going on and everything is in limbo. Robin said the wife had a will saying that she got everything but there's another will that says a girlfriend was supposed to inherit it. Robin said the girlfriend has stepped out but his parents stepped in and they're fighting with the wife.
Robin read about this 10 year old who shot his father. She said that his father was a Neo-Nazi and the kid ended up shooting the guy. Robin said that they're saying that the father won custody over the mother somehow. Howard said he'd like to know what that says about the wife. Robin said the 10 year old shot the guy as he laid on the couch.
Robin read a story about President Obama making a speech about the middle East. She said it will happen soon but no date has been set yet.
Robin read about how Osama bin Laden's family is asking for answers about why the United States killed him. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he had some audio of a Senator who saw the pictures of Osama dead and they sounded pretty graphic. Howard played the audio of this guy talking about the pictures. The Senator said they showed him some pictures of what he looked like before and after. He said they showed that some of his ear was hanging off and some brain matter was hanging off. He said that there is no question that he was dead. Howard started to sing ''Happy days are here again...'' Howard let it play through and the guy talked about what Osama was wearing. He was partially dressed and maybe in some type of underwear.
Robin read about how they've found many writings by Osama in a diary he was keeping. Robin said he was asking Al Quaeda members to take more lives. They say he wanted them to kill on the levels of 9/11 again and again. Howard said they got a bunch of his stuff out of that compound. He said they should have just gotten out of there immediately but they pulled all of his computers and stuff out before they left. He said he loves that Team Six.
Robin read about a terrorist plot that was broken up. Howard said he loves that they dumped Osama in the ocean. He said that's the greatest thing that they didn't follow that Muslim ritual stuff. He said now he's shark shit. Howard said he can't believe people wanted him to get a fair trial. Robin had some more audio of someone talking about Osama and how this was justified for a mass murderer.
Robin read about the rapper Common being invited to the White House. Robin said a lot of people have been making critical comments about that. Howard said he had never heard of him. Robin said he's probably seen him in movies before. Howard said he doesn't know anything about him. She said that the President has opposed some types of lyrics in music. Robin said she had one of his songs that Sarah Palin objected to. Howard said he probably won't understand one word.
Robin read about the planned merger between T-Mobile and AT&T. That led to Howard talking about how he had to switch to Verizon from AT&T and now his service is great.
Robin read that Newt Gingrich is going to be running for President. He made the announcement yesterday. She had the audio of that announcement.
Robin read about a new movie that's coming out on Friday. She had some audio of one of the stars of the movie talking about why people are so interested in vampires. Howard told Gary to get him a screener. He said he's not sure why he doesn't get them.
Robin had some audio of Will Ferrall talking about his new movie. Howard played through about 2 seconds of that.
Robin had some audio of Billy Ray Cyrus talking about his new TV series. Howard played a few seconds of that and bailed. He said he's a bore. Robin had a second clip that Howard didn't play all the way through.
Robin read that Ryan Seacrest makes $55 million a year. Howard said all of America should be depressed about that. Robin read about the things Ryan does and how he's making that money. Howard said he likes that he has about 65 jobs to make that kin of money. Howard said that gunshot you just heard was Brian Dunkleman shooting himself. They ended the show around 10:10am
Jon said he wanted to talk about Adrianne Curry. He said that everyone was swooning before she even got in the studio. Gary said she looked particularly great today. Jon said Adrianne was telling Howard about her marriage and how things aren't where they should be. Gary said that she's too young to have that ''we've been married a long time'' excuse. He said she's also incredibly sexual. He said she's only 28 and she's married to a guy who rolls over when she's masturbating. Gary said Christopher Knight is sick of having sex with her and that line is true that for every chick there's someone who is sick of fucking her. She just happens to be married to the guy.
Gary said he remembers watching The Surreal Life and she really wanted Chris. He said she did whatever she could do to get him. Jon asked if she's the best looking gamer out there. Gary said he thinks that Olivia Munn is supposed to be a gamer. He said she's as hot as her but Adrianne seems to know more about gaming than Olivia does.
Jon said he'd like to know why more women hit on her than guys do. Gary said the guys are afraid of her at those gaming conventions.
Jon took a call from a woman who said the Sybian rides today and yesterday must have pussy juice left on them. Gary said they wipe it down after every ride. The caller said she doesn't get why they have to do that with women. Gary said they don't ask all women to ride it. He said they asked her and she said yes. They didn't have to twist her arm to do it. The caller said it's like men in a circle jerk. Gary said he's not sure why she's so upset about it if Adrianne did it willingly and enjoyed it.
Fred came in and said that he thinks that this woman would use it if she had one. She said she might but she wouldn't do it in a room with a bunch of dudes. Gary said maybe she wouldn't but there are some women who do. The caller said she would do it if she could wear the bee keeper's mask. She said she's too old to do that though. She's 57.
Jon moved on and asked if Robin would ever use that thing. Gary said he thinks that they have given it a curiosity factor. Fred said if it was part of the Ayahuasca ritual them maybe she would. Gary said he knows that Robin uses a Hitachi vibrator ad she takes care of herself. Fred said the jump from that to the Sybian is a big jump. Gary said he can imagine Robin wanting to check it out eventually. He said they know someone who worked with them and the guy had one at home. He had kids too. Gary said the guy sent his kids to his mother-in-law's when they used it.
Jon asked how Gary thought that ride was. Gary said Adrianne came to it like it was a toy. He said that she sat on it and it went from joke to no-joke. Gary said she had to do everything she could to not scream while she was on it. He said she didn't expect it to happen like it did. Gary said Lisa G was asking how they knew it worked. Gary said her legs came off the ground and he could tell she was enjoying it. Gary said veins came out on her neck and her lips were quivering and things like that. He said there are many tells. Jon said he didn't know there were so many.
Jon asked Fred about Adrianne talking about her marriage and how it's not really working. Fred said she might be trying to work out her next step in her life. Jon said she kept saying she's tough to live with and all of that. Jon said Howard took that as her putting herself down. Fred said he was thinking that it sounds like she's more of a lesbian than a heterosexual and maybe she should go in that direction. Gary said he might be right.
Gary said he didn't hear the whole interview. He asked if she was talking about if it's okay for her to be with girls. Will said that she told him that she hasn't been with another man or a woman since she got married.
Jon asked Will about what the tells are for a good Sybian ride. Will said he looks for hard nipples and for a smell and fluids on the Sybian after the ride. Gary and Will shared the tells that they've seen from women on that thing.
Gary said that Sybian is so powerful you can feel it in the floating floor in the studio. He said that he demonstrates that for people who take tours of the studio. He said they're shocked when they feel it in the floor.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sybian is awesome. He told them not to listen to that caller earlier. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said he thought it was kind of like Scott catching Stuttering John doing his audition tape for The Tonight Show. Gary said he feels that way about him being caught sleeping by Scott DePace. Fred said he's never had anything like that happen.
A caller asked who they think is the creepiest during the Sybian ride. Gary said he and Will are pretty respectful but he sees drool and big eyes coming from Benjy. Fred said he agrees. He said there's something really creepy about Benjy when something sexual is going on. He said he goes way over the top. He said he gets this rocking thing going on and he looks like he's going to jump over the console and reenact that rape scene from that movie with Jodi Foster.
The caller said he thought that Gary was the creepiest until he heard Will describing the rides with the smell. Gary said there was a time when Sal would lick the attachments after they took them off the machine. Fred said he thought Sal took them home with him. Gary didn't think that was the case.
Ronnie said Gary takes it so seriously and he watches the girl's face to see how she's reacting. Ronnie said he can't say who is the creepiest. He said he'd say he was against him if he said who it was. They all knew it was Benjy. Ronnie talked about how creepy he can be in the studio and even after they leave. Ronnie said he comes out into the hall and stares at them out there too.
The caller said he thinks they should do iso camera shots of the guy's faces during the Sybian rides. Gary said he can imagine all of their faces on the screen at the same time. The guys said that no one would want to see that. Gary said they could do added content for the show.
Jon took some calls and one guy was goofing on Gary's constant weight gain and loss. Gary said he's doing his best to keep the weight off and he doesn't have his fat clothes anymore.
Another caller said he thinks that Dave Lampert is the creepiest on the Sybian. Fred said he's the inventor though. They spent a minute on that.
A caller said that Sal missed his chance to go over and sniff and lick the Sybian after Adrianne got off of it. Gary said Sal doesn't do that anymore.
Jon said that Sal and Richard were very proud of that Jack and Rod Show bit they got played today. Gary said they told him that it took them 5 hours to do that call and he's not sure exactly what that means. He's not sure if it includes the editing and all of that.
Jon also brought up their measuring of the taint. Fred said he missed that and didn't see how they did it. Jon said he'd get them in there to talk about it. He went to break after that.
Jon said it sounded like Richard was on the verge of cracking up during the call. Richard said it was all making him laugh.
Richard said he was just pulled away from editing with Sal and Benjy. Gary said Benjy is missing the show because of that editing. Fred said it's like trying to edit Stairway to Heaven after it's been released.
Jon asked Richard about his dad and Howard talking about his parents not carrying pictures of him in their wallets. Richard said he's kind of a hoarder and he still has every drum stick that he's ever used that he keeps at their house. He said he has a storage until there in Queens that he has a ton of junk in. He said he has drum sets, old magazines, old clothes and things like that. Fred did his Richard impression and said something about saving Brad Pitt posters. Richard said that's funny because he actually has some.
Gary asked Richard if he knows where he used all of his drum sticks. Richard said he can tell what era they were from so it brings back memories.
Jon asked Gary if he has anything that he's saved that's kind of weird. Gary said he has saved some stuff in his attic like when he gets mentioned in an article. He said he pulled some stuff out recently an found some cool stuff he's kept.
Jon asked Ronnie what he's kept. Ronnie said he has a lot of NASCAR bullshit. Jon asked if he kept anything while he was growing up. Ronnie said he has a Mikey Mouse alarm clock that he's had for a long time. He said Langford was asking him about that this morning and he's not sure why. He said he had a Mickey Mouse license plate years ago too. He said his kids were into that.
Jon asked Fred what he's got. Fred said he has a guitar from when he was about 15 years old. He said he should get rid of some of the stuff he has but it means too much.
Gary said he has a cereal bowl that he's had forever. He said he's taken it everywhere with him and he won't let his wife throw it out. He said there's nothing special about it but it has to be 45 or 46 years old. It's just a bowl. He said he was using it until recently but now the cats are eating out of it.
Jon took a call from a guy who just told everyone how much he enjoys the show and that he's glad they're back on Howard TV.
Fred got in a plug for a show he's playing tonight at the Rockwood Music Hall. Jon asked if he's nervous about it. Fred said he is a little bit. He said he started writing some new songs and he wants people to hear them. Fred said this is the first time he's doing originals that he actually gives a shit about. Richard said he's working on his album and it should be out in September. He said they should be touring later this year too. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:40am.