|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Dr. Stern: Celebrity Shrink continued with day 2 after this. The rest of the special can be found in the MarksFriggin.com archives.
Howard was back live this morning. He started the show talking about his intense Martin Luther King day celebration. He said he was a fan of his and he stands for what he stood for. He said he even goes to a black church for the day. Robin said she liked that there was less traffic. Howard said a lot of Jews were off the road yesterday. He said they're one of the few shows that celebrates the holiday by not showing up... in true Howard Stern fashion.
Howard said someone sent him a link to something that he liked. He said Jimmy Kimmel was on Jay Leno and he got a link so he could just watch that one part. He said he likes that. No skipping commercials or anything like that. Howard said he became a Jet fan a couple of days ago too. He said as long as they're winning he's a fan. He's a Johnny come lately. Robin said she missed the game and she's so upset about that.
Gary came in dressed in all green for the Jets. Howard said he doesn't know much about football but Rex Ryan is going to have a heart attack during these games. Howard said there's an article in the paper about the guy and he's a big fan of his now. Howard said they were talking about the guy and what he eats and the article was great. He tried to find it to read it.
Howard found the article where they talk about Rex Ryan's 7000 calorie diet. Howard said they say he's never been seen with a salad. Howard said that guy can really eat. Howard and Gary talked about Bill Parcels getting fat too.
Howard read about Rex's visits to a diner in New Jersey where he and his wife eat. The whole article seemed to be about what this guy eats. They say Ryan blames moving to New Jersey for getting fat because there are so many Italian restaurants there.
Howard asked Gary what this story is about Indianapolis throwing the game. Gary explained to Howard that they put in some players that weren't experienced and they feel that they laid down and it was a gimme for them to lose. Gary said they have to see them again now and Indianapolis is saying that maybe they didn't pout their best players out there that day.
Howard said he became a Jets fan on Sunday after watching the game. Robin said she became one not long before that. Howard said he was out to eat and went to this place where they had the game on. He said they were planning on what to eat and getting ready for that but he saw that he was looking right at the TV so he had to put his back to the game. He said he had to turn around a couple of times to see what was going on. He caught the end of the game when they got home.
Gary said Beth must understand football some because her family were really into it. Howard said Beth's father is an oral surgeon and he was also a football player at Pitt. He said he knows Mike Ditka and guys like that because he played with those guys. Howard said they had to go to all of the Steelers games and stuff like that. Beth hated it though. He said she didn't like it but her whole family was into it.
Howard said Beth's mom would dress her for the game but in a dress. Her mother thought she should look nice at the game and made her wear the dress so she'd be shivering. Howard said she was only 8 or 9 and she'd be freezing at the game. Howard said he likes watching football but he doesn't have to watch it every Sunday.
Robin said she got an email from someone who was saying that she had to escape from football because her man and his friend were watching the game.
Howard said he does love watching the game but he's not that into watching a bunch of guys in tights pushing each other around. Robin said that it can turn very gay. She said there was a scene in ''The Hurt Locker'' where the guys started punching and wrestling each other. Howard said that's what George Takei does with Brad.
Howard said he's happy that the Jets are in the AFC Championship Game this coming Sunday at 3. Gary helped fill in the blanks with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they take off every year on Martin Luther King day. Howard said they did last year but one year they didn't and all of the black fans were upset. The caller also said that Gary is a dummy for getting so excited about the Jets because he must know that they're going to lose.
Gary talked football some more and gave Howard some details about some of the Jets games from this season. He said he doesn't expect them to win this weekend but they're capable of it.
Howard said he tried to talk to the guy but you end up not talking about what happened and there's a big question mark in the room. Howard said he wanted to ask Artie what he did and why but you just can't do that. Howard said you don't know what to say.
Gary and Fred went to visit Artie and they didn't know what to say to him. Gary said he told Artie to let them know if they were bothering him. Gary said Artie said it was fine so they stayed and talked for a while. Howard said he and Artie ran out of things to say after like 3 seconds. He said Artie didn't seem to want to visit with him so he's not going to do that.
Howard said he's not sure what Artie is on or what the doctors are doing for him. He said it sucks and he felt awful after talking to him. Robin said that she felt the same way and she wonders what she could have said that could have made a difference.
Howard said he just told Artie that everyone is pulling for him and he's hoping that he's getting the help he needs. He was whipping out every cliché he could think of.
Gary said that it was difficult to talk to him in person and he can't imagine doing that on the phone. He said there were times that Artie didn't say anything. Howard said Artie was saying that his phone situation is weird and he's really not in the mood to talk right now. Gary said he got that too.
Howard said he asked Artie if there were any hot chicks at that place he's at. He said Artie just grunted. Gary said Artie isn't up for being social right now and he and Fred weren't sure when they should leave. Artie kind of hugged them and pushed them out of the room when he thanked them for coming.
Howard wondered if Artie even wants to be around. He tried to kill himself and now he has people visiting him. Gary said he knows Colin went to visit him and that made him a little happier. Robin said Colin was there the day she visited. Howard said he needs someone to go along with him too so maybe Colin will come. He said he could do a special broadcast with him.
Howard said most of his time with Artie is on the air and off the air it's kind of awkward. He said they don't really sit and talk about anything. He said Artie has been to his house but they don't have a lot to talk about. He said he thinks this is his fault that they don't have much to talk about.
Gary said it's not Howard's fault not having much to talk about. He said Artie isn't much into hanging out. He's kind of introverted. He said you get the feeling that he'd be the life of the party but that's really not him. Howard said he's the same way. He's not the life of the party in real life.
Gary said it's weird how people have this perception of you that's just not true. He said his neighbor told him that he kept expecting Howard to drive up in a limo with a bunch of strippers in it.
The caller said that people want to say that what Artie tried to do is a cop out or the easy way out but it's really not. He said that he wants to wish Artie luck with everything. He got off the line a short time later.
Howard said it sounds like Artie really wanted to go. Fred said it sounded that way to him too. Robins said there was no question about that.
Howard said Jimmy Fallon took the song and did this song as Neil Young. Howard said Jimmy does a great Neil Young and he plays guitar and the harmonica and it's very funny to look at. He said Jimmy came on and did this song on his show. He thought it was great and he's been singing it since he saw it. Howard played the audio of Jimmy doing the song as Neil Young.
Howard and Robin got some laughs out of that performance. Howard said he hadn't even seen that American Idol footage. He said he liked the song that Jimmy was doing because it was funny but now he gets it. He said it kind of stands on its own. He said he woke up singing the song this morning. Howard said it's like the best song Neil Young ever wrote. Howard said he gave Jimmy an A+ on that. Howard said Jimmy has moved up about 10 notches since doing that song. Howard said he even sent Jimmy an email to let him know about that.
Howard said he had a good idea of what he wanted to talk to Conan about and then they called and asked him to be on. He said he started getting emails from everyone saying it would have been the greatest thing ever. He said they were right but he'd have to fly 6 hours to do that show for a few minutes and it might not be worth it. Beth even wanted to go out there. Robin said she would have gone out there too.
Howard said he was talking to Rosie O'Donnell over the weekend and told her about playing her discussion about Jay. He said Rosie wanted to go out there with him too. He said that would have been interesting. He said he could have done his thing and Rosie could have done her's. He said it would have been a fucking party. He said he had decided not to go already though. He said they could have gone out and talked about what a scum bag Jay was on the show. He said it would have been an all Jay bashing show and it would have been a hell of a way for Conan to go out.
Howard said he wrote Rosie back and told her that he really didn't want to go out there. He said the whole late night war is out of control now. He said he's not sure who is on who's side in it all.
Howard said Rosie's point was that Jay doesn't own the Tonight Show and he left the show. Howard said Jay kind of got kicked out and it's all kind of weird.
Howard said this was his close moment to doing something really cool like the Beatles almost did on Saturday Night Live years ago. Lorne Michaels wanted the Beatles to show up one night and play and Paul and John Lennon almost went in because they were watching the show live. Howard said he could have done this Conan thing and it would have been huge.
Robin said Conan just got squeezed out like a pimple. Howard said he read that he's getting $40 million on his way out. He said he'd rather have that kind of deal. Howard said he'd like that in his contract so they can get rid of him.
Howard said the economy is shitty right now and it's amazing they're giving Conan a deal like that. Howard wondered what a guy who is struggling with a job thinks about that. Howard said that's a great deal for Conan.
Howard said the economy is scary right now and he read one article where a guy was talking about how he has it good because he's a writer but there are a lot of people out there who are struggling. Robin said it really is hard out there.
Howard said there are too many places to advertise out there so things in terrestrial radio are really bad. Robin said she was talking to someone about radio and they were talking about how people still have radios in their cars so they do still listen. Howard said they're trying to give people ways to pick up online radio and things in your car. Howard said that would be a game changer. He said satellite and internet are going to kill terrestrial radio.
Mariann asked if Beth is going to Haiti. Howard said she's there now. Mariann said she wanted him to be serious. Howard had to hang up on Mariann. Howard was joking about Beth being over there. Robin said it's terrible what's going on over there. She said that her driver's family is over there and he's lost 8 people in his family so far. They're living in a tent over there right now.
Howard said that place is one of those places where people are prisoners in their own country. He said that it's miserable there. Howard said he was watching the news and they said they had some graphic images coming up and he had to turn it off because it's such misery and suffering. He said he was brushing his teeth while watching it and he can't imagine not having running water.
Robin said there are people who haven't had food or water since the earthquake. Howard asked if Robin calls that detoxing. She said that's actually starving.
Howard said he had Jay Leno explaining how he was innocent in all of this late night stuff. Howard said he really isn't though. Howard said he also had audio of Jay in 2004 announcing that he was going to pass the torch to Conan. Howard said he says the right things but he knows that the guy is a scum bag and doesn't mean any of it.
Howard played the audio from 2004 where Leno explained how it was all working with Conan taking over for him in 2009. Howard cut the clip off and talked about how his agent has helped him in his career and how he has kept him from getting his ass kicked by so many executives. Howard said he had bad work situations and his agent really helped.
Howard said Jay says he doesn't have an agent or a manager but he really needs one. Howard said Jay wants to be like the rest of the public without one but he really needs one to help him negotiate all of this. Howard played more of the audio of Jay talking about how he is no Johnny Carson and how he thinks that it might be good that he's going to leave while they're still number 1. Jay said that he could do it until he's dragged out on a stretcher. Jay said he wasn't spending enough time with his cars. Howard said Jay was doing the gracious thing in this clip but he's really not gracious. Jay didn't go anywhere and he's taking the show back from Conan.
Howard said Dick Ebersol is now out there bashing Conan talking about what a failure he is. He said that's what these networks do when they have a show that didn't work out. They did that to Chevy Chase on FOX.
Howard played more of the Leno clip where he was giving the show to Conan. Howard said this is going to kill jay because everyone hates him right now. He said that he wants everyone to think that he's a great guy but he's not.
Howard had a clip from 2006 where he went on Conan's show and told him that Jay wasn't really going to give him the Tonight Show. Conan didn't take it seriously when he told him that Jay was never going to give up that show. Howard said he knew it wasn't going to turn out well. He said everyone was just laughing it up on there. Howard said NBC is going to fuck Conan up the ass with that whole thing.
Howard had some audio of Leno talking about what's going on. Jay was claiming that they wanted to keep Conan there at NBC back in 2004 so they asked him to give up the Tonight Show gig. Jay said he would retire just to avoid some things that happened before. Jay said they were still number one when they gave up the show. Jay said he was going to leave the show before his contract was up so he stuck around at NBC. He said they wanted him to stay there and put him on in prime time. Jay claims he wasn't sure about that. He said he went along with it and they figured that things would work out okay in prime time. Meanwhile, Conan's show wasn't doing well either. Jay said he wanted to get out of his contract again but NBC wouldn't let him go. He said that they then said that the affiliates weren't happy with his performance and Conan wasn't doing well so NBC told him to do a half hour show at 11:30. Jay said he thinks that they did a good job there with the 10 o'clock show but they didn't do well in prime time. Conan said NBC thought Conan would go for the show being moved to 12:05. Jay said he doesn't have a manager or agent so he was doing all of the deals. Howard cut it off and said that's why this is such a mess right now.
Howard played more of the audio of Jay talking about Conan walking away from the Tonight Show and how NBC offered him the Tonight Show back. Jay said it looks like they'll be back on at 11:30 and the crowd was cheering. Howard said they seem to like the news. Howard said he has the feeling Jay never wanted to give the show up and he's thrilled that he's getting it back.
Howard was hoping that the people cheering are the only fans of Jay's. He said he's been enjoying watching all of this stuff.
Howard sang more of Jimmy Fallon's ''Pants on the Ground'' as Neil Young. Howard said he would go see that in concert. He said he'd see Jimmy as Neil Young doing that song. Howard said he found another one that Jimmy did as Neil Young that was good too. Robin didn't know he did Neil Young.
Howard said he must be wrong about Jay being a nice guy. He said everyone else seems to think he's a good guy so he must be wrong. Howard said Jay can't seem to see what he did wrong in all of this.
Will came in and said that Miss Howard Stern is doing good and she's stoped drinking. He said that she's trying to figure out a way to get up there. Howard said he thought she was booked to come in but he was wrong.
Robin said she's been thinking about Jessica Hahn too. Gary said she called in on his birthday to wish Howard a happy birthday. Howard asked what's going on with her. Gary said he hasn't spoken to her but she keeps leaving messages. He said he will check in with her today to find out what she's up to.
Lisa G said that Jessica is engaged to her former boyfriend's best friend. Her boyfriend had died a while back and now she's engaged to his old friend. Gary said that he used to call them as a go between but he didn't know there was anything romantic going on between them. Gary said the guy was almost insinuating that they pay Jessica to be on the show. Howard said he'd like to pay everyone. He said that's why he likes giving out the money to the fans.
Howard explained the relationship Jessica had with this guy Ron who had produced the Married with Children show. Ron bought Jessica a house and he'd go to visit her there and they'd do their thing and Robin would leave. He said it was a good set up and Robin needs something like that. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Jessica Hahn on the phone. He said they were wondering what she was up to. Jessica said she misses them too. Howard said the last report they got on her was that her boyfriend had died. They she was kind of lost and now they hear that she's engaged.
Jessica said that she took the Ron thing really hard. She said that it's still hard for her. She said she met this guy Frank who was Ron's partner who had worked with Ron for like 23 years. She said that she knew him through Ron but not all that well. Howard said he had an aunt who ended up marrying her late husband's brother. Howard said if he drops dead he'd like none of his friends to step in with Beth. He said most of his friends are scum bags so he doesn't need that going on.
Howard said Beth doesn't need any hugs or emotional support from any of his friends. Howard said if anyone does put a move on her he's going to fuck them up from the other side and haunt their ass. He said he'll put a curse on anyone who messes with her.
Howard said it can't be anyone who listens to the show. Robin asked if Double A could step in. Howard said it can't be him, it can't be High Pitch Eric or Eric the Midget.
Howard said he'd like to know how Ron feels about this Jessica situation. He figures that John Edward could come in and say that Ron is at peace while Ron is really up there yelling ''Fuck you!'' up there.
Howard said he hopes that Beth is miserable when he dies. He said he doesn't want any guys coming in with their big, thick cocks and making her realize how small he was. He said that Benjy is a guy who would do something like that. He said the thought of one of his friends coming in is bad. He said he can imagine Don Buchwald stepping in and that would really piss him off.
Howard asked Jessica how this all happened with this guy Frank. She said they were talking to each other and they had both lost Ron. She said he was there for him and after a year or so they got into a relationship. Howard asked if Frank was single. Jessica said he was single. She said that Frank is a stunt guy too.
Howard asked Jessica if guys should hit on women when they're vulnerable. He said he would have put some time in with Jessica if he was out in California. Howard said the guys who work at funeral homes must get laid a lot. They get to console people at the funerals.
Howard asked if it was weird making love to Frank the first time. Jessica said that it was weird. She said she never thought about Frank in that way when he was friends with Ron. Howard asked if she felt guilty. She said she felt very guilty. Howard asked how long it was going on before the sex. She said it was months. Howard asked if it was at the funeral that he started holding her hand. She said t wasn't like that at all. She said it was like 9 months or so.
Jessica said she was all on her own and Frank was helping her out with a bunch of stuff. She said she needed help getting things together. Howard said this sounds like the movie Ghost except for all of the bad stuff that was going on.
Howard ended up talking about the movie ''Ghost'' and asked Jessica if she would have made out with Whoopi Goldberg if she thought Ron was inside of her. She said she would. Howard said he'd love to ask Demi Moore about having to do that in the movie. He said that must have been rough.
Jessica said that the sex started soon after the kissing was going on. She said that there was a lot of guilt there. Howard asked about Frank giving her the sausage and if she felt Ronnie's presence there. She said it was confusing but it was really nice too. Howard said that's his worst fear. He said he's afraid that the guy replacing him would have a big sausage.
Jessica said it was confusing and odd but it was nice at the same time. Howard said it would be wild if they found out that Ron was still alive and he comes home to find Frank there with her. Howard asked Jessica what she would have done if that had happened. Jessica said she would stay with Ronnie. Howard said he feels bad for Frank now. Howard told her to always go with the guy who is actually alive.
Howard said he's happy for Jessica because he knows she was in a bad place. He said he hopes that Frank is a good guy. Jessica said he really is a great guy. She said she felt funny calling into the show since she hadn't called in so long. Robin said she missed her and wondered what she was up to.
Howard asked Jessica about living with Frank and if she's liking that. She said it's weird but she's not sure. She said it does feel safe and nice but she liked it the other way too.
Jessica wished Howard a happy birthday and Howard congratulated her on her engagement. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Howard mentioned that the Celebrity Rehab show is really great this season. He said that Heidi Fleiss is looking like a meth head and one woman is having seizures on the show. He said Dennis Rodman is great and obnoxious on the show. He said the guy from Alice in Chains is a complete fuck head. He said Dr. Drew has done it.
Howard said the guy from Alice in Chains is almost insane. He said he's most angry with the cameras being there even though he signed on to do a reality show. Howard said the cameras just stay on him though so it's amazing.
Lisa mentioned the show ''Hoarders'' that Howard had heard of. He said he hadn't seen it yet but he's heard about it. Robin said she's seen some of that. Howard said he loves Celebrity Rehab. He said that The Bachelor is like his Super Bowl.
Howard talked about some of what has been going on with The Bachelor. He said he gets the show about a week ahead since he's friends with the producer. Robin asked about the woman who was kicked off the show because she heard that they kicked her off just for publicity. There was some question about her and her kid being on the show too so she was wondering about that. Howard said he really doesn't know.
Lisa G said that they were on the scene with JD after his date with Ashley Dupre. They met at a restaurant and had hot chocolate and talked about movies and stuff. Lisa said that Ashley isn't looking for a relationship but she wants to be friends. JD told her that he's still going to hit on her. Lisa said JD told her that he'd love to see her again and he's going to wait to see if the seeds he planted will grow.
Gary said he spoke to JD and he had the exact time she showed up and left. She stayed with him for an hour and she didn't bail on him early. She did have a business meeting to go to though. Howard said she probably didn't have a business meeting like she claimed. Lisa said that she tweeted about her date. Lisa read some of those tweets and Ashley was talking about how great JD was in those tweets.
Howard had JD come in and asked him about the date. JD said she was a great girl and she was very nice. Howard asked if he wore that Johnny Depp outfit that he told him to wear. Fred, as JD, said he looked more like Johnny Dick.
JD said he got dressed up nicely and she noticed he had shaved. He said it was a special occasion. JD said she wore a military type jacket that Michael Jackson wore. He said that she looked very nice. He said her hair was tied back and it looked good. JD said he likes her but he doesn't know what's going to happen.
Howard asked what the best moment of the date was. JD said he doesn't know. He said it was sort of like her getting to know him. JD said they talked about ''whatever.''
Howard asked if he brought a condom. JD said he didn't. Howard said he would have brought one just in case. JD said he was being a gentleman. Howard asked if he paid. JD said of course he did. JD said he got there early and waited for her to show up. Robin said ''of course you did...'' JD said he sat there for like 10 minutes by himself and had an appetizer while he waited. He said Ashley came in and they hugged and started talking. He said he didn't help her with her chair but he did stand up. They hugged goodbye too.
Howard asked if anyone recognized her. JD said if they did no one said anything. Howard asked if he hoped it would turn into an all night date. JD said he was fine with it being the way it was.
JD said Ashley looked nice and he told her that. He pointed out something cute that she does. Robin asked what that was. He said that she'll talk and nothing will come out. She'll mouth words and not actually say it. Howard said that's a sign of psychosis. Howard didn't know what he actually meant so JD had to explain to him that she will mouth words and not actually make sound. JD said it's like she wants to say something but not too loud. He said maybe it's something she's embarrassed to say. Howard said that will become the thing he hates the most about her if he dates or marries her.
JD said he and Ashley have been texting and she's out in L.A. for some business. He said that he texted her to let her know he had a good time and she said when she gets back maybe they'll see a movie.
Robin mentioned that she saw ''The Book of Eli'' over the weekend and she'd warn people not to see it. She said it just wasn't good.
Howard asked JD what movie he would take Ashley to see. Howard said they're going to see Avatar today. Howard said he saw Governor Schwarzenegger talking about the movie at the Golden Globe awards. He said he was happy for Ivan Reitman's son doing so well with his movie ''Up in the Air.'' Robin said she saw that they're going to do another ''Ghostbusters'' movie.
Howard asked who ended the date. JD said Ashley had to go so she ended it. Howard got back to the Golden Globes and talked about how good Jennifer Aniston looked. He said he felt good for her because she did look so good. He said Jodie Foster looked good too. Howard said Jodie looks like she'd take some penis once in a while. Robin said she thinks that she never did but she's not sure about that.
Howard said he'd be a good starter for a lesbian because his penis is like a large clit. He said he thinks he would have been good for Jodie.
The guys talked about other lesbians like Meredith Baxter and Carol Leifer. Howard said there are some ''gold star'' lesbians who have never been with a guy. He said that's right on that penis makes you ill.
Howard said he was watching Mel Gibson on that Golden Globes and he's not sure how he gets any applause at all. Robin said they will never say a bad thing about that guy just like Roman Polanski. Howard said he wants to see Charlie Sheen get applause.
Howard said they play people right off the stage even if they're saying something interesting. He said they just play the music right over them when they want them off.
Lisa said that Ashley tweeted at 6:10pm after the date so she's not sure if she really had a meeting. JD told Lisa to stop stalking his date. She said she had an appointment at 5:30 and she had to get going. JD said she showed up a few minutes late to the date but she's a nice girl. Robin said no one said she wasn't nice. Howard said maybe he'll get into her pants. JD said it's going to be baby steps.
Howard said it sounds like JD is in love. JD said he's not in love. He said he might be smitten with her. Howard said JD would marry her tonight. JD said he doesn't know about that. Howard said he guarantees that he would marry her if she wanted to marry him. JD said he would think she's psychotic if she wanted to get married that quickly.
Howard goofed on JD some more about having to move in with her. He was making JD ask her if he could move in and if she likes PlayStation 3 and things like that.
Howard asked JD if he has feelings of love for this girl. JD said she's very nice and she has a great sense of humor. He said she likes The Jerky Boys. Fred was doing his JD impression asking Ashley if she was a fan of Rizzo or Frank. JD said she was shocked to hear that the guys who did those calls are broken up now.
Howard said he liked Ashley on the show. He said that they'd make a good couple and they'd be a very powerful couple. Howard said a girl like that looks really good standing next to a guy like JD. Howard said that's why Beth likes him.
Howard asked JD if he brushed his teeth before the date because he has bad breath sometimes. JD gave him a ''Oh fuck you.'' Howard said he could just tell her that he stepped in dog shit. Fred and Howard were doing their impressions of JD and goofing on him about all of this stuff. Howard said he should have walked in with an engagement ring. Robin said she may have said yes because they were in public. Howard said he could have brought a minister with him and told her he was there just in case she had feelings of love.
Howard asked JD if he would get engaged to her if she was interested. JD said he has to date her a few more times and see how things go.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how long it took JD to go home and beat off. JD said he didn't do that. He said he has to watch porn to do that. JD said it would take him forever if he just sat around thinking about it. Howard said he doesn't need porn to beat off. JD said he does.
Howard noticed that Fred was doing something new with his JD impression. Fred said he's been refining it every time he comes in. Howard asked JD what he beat off to over the weekend. JD said he didn't do that this weekend. He said he's still messed up in the head these days.
Howard asked JD when he last beat off. JD said maybe yesterday. Robin asked why he was lying to them. JD said he wasn't lying, he just doesn't remember every time he beats off. Howard told JD he has to make things work with Ashley. JD said he doesn't want to scare her off.
JD said that Ashley is very busy traveling so he's not sure how things are going to work out. Howard said they took JD to a birthday party at Rick's Cabaret the other day. Robin said she was invited. JD said he didn't cum there but he had blue balls like never before. He said they were painful.
JD said that after one dance the stripper pointed out his boner and she was telling Jason to look at it. Howard said that's not cool. Howard did an impression of what that must have sounded like. JD said that's exactly what it was like when he heard Howard's Russian accent.
JD said Sal was the big party guy over there. He said he's like Ronnie Jr. there. Howard thanked JD for the story and wished him luck with Ashley.
Gary came in and said he heard some stories about Sal at these parties. He said that at another party Sal told one of the strippers that he works for the Howard Stern Show and that he had just had a meeting with Chris Rock. He had a friend call him as Chris Rock so the stripper thought he was getting a call from Chris. Howard said the girls are just as impressed if you hand them a $20 bill.
JD said Sal was talking to the girls about the stuff they work on there and bragging about the guys who are begging to be in the Show in the Hallway stuff.
Howard let JD go and took a call from a guy who said that JD paused for 15 seconds and followed that pause with the word ''and.'' He said he's never heard something like that before. Howard said that is funny and he didn't even hear that.
Howard and the caller talked about JD talking dirty and what that would sound like. The caller suggested they have JD sit in on the news and comment on the stories. Howard said he doesn't think that would work very well. The caller wanted to hear his take on Haiti. Howard said that Jim Nance called it ''Hatia.'' He said he apparently didn't know it was actually Haiti. Howard played that audio clip real quick.
Lisa said that Gary has lost 28 pounds since September. Howard said he didn't notice until he saw some old pictures of him. Lisa said she spoke to his nutritionist and found out how Gary was able to lose the weight. Howard said he's more in the Robin camp with her weight loss program. Howard said maybe they could have this Melissa woman get in the ring with Dr. Roni.
Lisa said that High Pitch Eric has remained employed for the past 2 weeks. He's still living with Bob Levy. Howard said he's amazed that Eric is able to stay employed and find these people to live with. They had to go to break after that.
Howard asked Robin if the actors are live or if it's animation. Robin said it's animation but real actors doing the moves. She said that she didn't think she'd like it but she did. Howard wasn't sure he'd like it.
Robin said that people are already creating this whole world based on these characters in the movie. Howard had an article about a guy who died after watching Avatar. The guy was from Taiwan. He freaked out so much over the movie that it killed him. Howard said it was triggered from over excitement about the movie.
Howard said that's the first death from Avatar. They say that some people get headaches and visual problems from using the 3D glasses. Robin said that she got some motion sickness while watching it.
Howard had Gary bring the woman in. Her name was Jen. She said that he's a Master Sargent and he's been in the service for 20 years. She said he doesn't talk much about what he does though. Howard said that's why he could never be a good soldier. He'd be blabbing all over the place talking about killing the enemy.
Robin said that Howard doesn't know that he'd rally talk about that stuff. He's never actually killed someone so he wouldn't know what it would be like.
Jen said that her husband saw a lot of action in Bosnia and Somalia but now he's in the command center more so he's not out there seeing what's going on. Howard said he would tell everyone about how many kills he had. He said his wife would be really turned on if he actually killed someone. He said that would be better than KY lubing her up.
Jen talked about what a great guy her husband is for a short time. Howard said the guy sounds like a great guy.
Howard asked Jen what she wanted him to do. She said that she's convinced that Howard is going to retire so she wanted to get on the show. She said that she has a 9 year old son too so it's tough being alone as much as she is. She said that she's a teacher and the kids know that she's a superfan. She said that she teaches in a college so the kids will be okay with the tattoo.
Howard asked Jen to let him sign her shoulder. He asked where her husband was. She said that he's in Afghanistan right now. She said they say that Iraq was like a beach party compared to Afghanistan. She said that she was able to keep in touch with him over there thanks to Skype. She said with Afghanistan it's really bad though.
Jen said that her husband is happy about her doing this today. Jen showed Howard some of her other tattoos and Howard said she's an attractive woman. Howard had her come over so he could autograph her shoulder.
Jen said that her tattoo guy wants her to get a hard copy signature just in case it smudges. Howard asked if he should sign it neat or however. Jen told him to do it under some beauty marks on her. She said that it'll be on her shoulder so she doesn't really care how it is.
Howard signed it but Robin didn't like the way it came out. Howard said he thought it was good. Jen was happy with it. She told Robin that she listens to the show mainly because of Robin. Howard said he was going to take that autograph back from her if that's true. Jen said that Robin is the voice of reason on the show.
Howard told Jen to take a look at the autograph and make sure it looks okay. Howard said that her husband and his buddies are good guys for being so brave. Howard said that the only people he ever had to fight were the FCC. Jen said she used to write letters to the FCC whenever they'd fine him so they probably have a file on her over there.
Howard let Jen go but Robin said she thinks that he screwed up with the autograph. She said that the ''Stern'' was off a bit. Howard said he liked the way it came out and he really was trying to do a good job.
Howard read that Conan O'Brien is getting close to $40 million to leave NBC. Robin said she read that he's getting to save some of his characters. Howard said he read that he doesn't get to keep them. He said that it's funny to think about because who knows what his characters are. Howard said Triumph the Insult Comic Dog won't be going with Conan. He also had a masturbating bear that he may not get to keep. He's also got a gag order so he can't talk badly about NBC. Howard said that kind of sucks. He said that they've also agreed to a media black out.
Howard read this article where they talk about the exit package that won't allow Conan to do any interviews or slam NBC publicly. Howard said that he really should agree to go on the show. He said he might not even be allowed on at this point.
Howard said he'd like everyone to get together and just not watch Leno. He'd really appreciate that if we all agreed to that.
Howard read about Conan getting to take off the next few months since he's not allowed to go to work anywhere else until September.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they saw that Jay ripped Howard off again. He did ''Play for your Plugs'' on the show. Howard said Jay is constantly ripping them off. Howard said they ripped off the Homeless Game and call it ''Jay Walking.'' Howard said that's one of the best things they invented on his show and Jay's writers ripped it off.
Howard said Leno's people also stole the plug thing from them but they do it in a really lame way. Howard said they steal bits left and right. He said Jay is just a fucking thief and he hopes he fails. He said that everyone else is better than Jay.
Robin asked what's going to happen to Triumph. Howard said he thinks that Conan will get to keep him. He doesn't believe that Triumph is going to stay with NBC.
Since he was on the subject of stealing bits Howard said he knows that he invented ''Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader'' but the lawyers tell him he wouldn't have a case because it would be tough to prove. Howard said he has tapes of the show to prove it. He said he even has video of them playing it. Howard said the lawyers tell him he would lose if he tried to sue but he doesn't see that. He said he'd like to take it to court and get some money from these people. He said he can't stand the system.
A caller said that he has to calm down or he's going to have a stroke. Howard said he could have a stroke after watching Avatar today. He said that would be a hell of a way to go out.
Gary told Howard he had audio of Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about Avatar. Howard was wondering why he can't say the word. Arnold says ''Avadar'' when he says it. He quickly played that but cut it off and got to the caller.
The caller said that he thought the song ''Jump'' originated from someone suggesting that someone jump off a building one time. Howard said he didn't know where it came from but he thought it mean that you should just take a leap in life when you have something going on. Robin said she thought it was what the caller was saying.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that it was odd that Robert Downey Jr.'s wife was looking for the camera while he went to kiss her. Howard said he didn't see that. He knows that one guy didn't thank his wife up on stage.
Howard said Robert Downy Jr. is a great actor and it's great that he's been able to thrive again. Howard said that it seems that going to jail is the only way to get these guys off of drugs. Downey had to go to jail a few times before he got off of everything.
Howard read a story about Senator Ted Kennedy's seat being filled and how it could end up being filled by a republican. Howard said that they say that this guy Scott Brown is leading in the polls and if Kennedy knew about that he'd rise from the dead.
Howard tried to do his Kennedy impression but his megaphone wasn't working. He got it working a short time later and did his Kennedy for a short time. Howard and Robin talked about that story for a short time. The special election is happening today.
Howard said he read that Dennis Hopper is dying of prostate cancer. He's on his last legs and he so can't stand his ex-wife that the judge has ordered her to stay away from him while he's on his last few days. Howard said that she's upset about the will because she thought she was going to get more in it than she is. Howard said she gets like 1/3 of his estate and she's upset about that. Howard said Hopper has apparently seen that she was just interested in his money. Robin wondered if she's the one they met when Dennis did one of Howard's birthday shows. Howard said she looks hot.
Howard read about Hopper spending his last days with his family. He said he's bummed out about that. He said that he's a great actor and he loved him in so many movies. Howard talked about him in ''Blue Velvet'' and did his impression of him doing one scene. They used to play that clip on the show all the time. Fred said they still have it and played it for Howard.
Robin said Dennis did the scene in the movie ''True Romance'' where he talked about the Sicilians being spawned by blacks. They used to play that clip on the show all the time too. Fred played it again. Howard and Robin talked about that scene for a short time.
Howard read an article about Dick Ebersol blaming Conan for his failure in late night. Howard said he got a note from someone who said that he predicted all of this a while ago. Howard said he knew that they would blame Conan for his failure. He said that Dick is the guy who was chosen to be the one to bash Conan.
Howard said if they knew what Conan should do on his show then why did they move him at all. Howard said they claim that they tired to convince Conan to change his show to broaden the appeal of his show. Howard said this guy Ebersol is a dick and he doesn't have to go out and fuck with his head like this. Howard said they did the same thing to him when he left terrestrial radio. He said Les Moonves was bad mouthing his show saying that his fart jokes get old. He said they put up an air freshener and said they were cleaning the air. Howard said all these executives are ''cock sucking fucks.''
Howard wondered why Ebersol has to go out and do this. There's no reason for him to be out there bad mouthing Conan. Howard read more of the article and commented on how they have to just back off and leave Conan alone. Howard said Conan is already humiliated and they don't need to add to that. He said Dick should think about that and shut the fuck up.
Howard said Conan is dealing with it in a civil way and no one knows who Dick Ebersol is anyway. Howard said he really should go to do Conan's show. He said Conan should come out in jeans and a work shirt and go to work on Dick Ebersol. Howard said Dick doesn't know what to do to change a show. He said he knows that guy has been through tragedy himself and he should know that Conan doesn't need this kind of shit. Howard said they should just shut up and leave Conan alone.
Howard had Eric on the phone and asked him why they didn't get good audio. Eric said he thought that they were going to cover that by the people who were there. They did have some audio and Howard said bad audio plagues Eric wherever he goes. Howard said they could have gotten some house audio there.
Howard played some of the audio but bailed out on it after about 2 seconds. Howard said he couldn't understand it. He said that the audio was just a tape recorder in the audience. Eric said it was digital cameras. Howard said that's even worse. Robin said Eric might not mind bad audio but they do. Robin said they're glad he was successful though.
Howard tried again with the audio and let it play through some more. Eric's microphone was feeding back so Howard had to bail out on it again. Howard said that Eric knows what he's saying but they don't so it was good for him. Howard said that he can't play it because people will tune out of the show.
Howard said they needed to be plugged into the board there. He said that it sounds like one big echo to them. He said they just can't play it and now Eric is mad at them again. Howard said this is a new low for Eric. He said he's thinking back to his Idol show on the internet with the echo and spaces between talking. He played an example of that show that Eric did where they had a lot of silence between a little talking.
Howard said that bad audio is Eric's nemesis. He played more of his Idol show and said it's virtually unlistenable. He wondered if his wheelchair causes feedback or something. Howard said maybe someone has better audio of that comedy show. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it was weird that he played himself in college in ''Private Parts'' because he looked 50. Howard said he was only 40 and he thought it would look even weirder if he had someone playing him.
The caller also asked if he had planned to get divorced before the movie was done. Howard said things were still going okay at the time. He said they may not have been that great but they had millions invested in it. Howard said it was several years later that he got divorced. The caller said it was just months later. The caller asked if he met Beth right after the divorce. Howard said he got separated and then divorced. It was like a year or two between.
Howard came back and said that he wants to know when people start following Avatar like they do with Star Wars and Star Trek. He said that he can't wait to hear Darth Nihilus-like people. He had some audio of James Cameron getting the ball rolling by speaking ''Avatar'' in a press conference. Howard said it sounded kind of like the stuff he used to speak when he was doing his Bat Mitzvah.
Howard played more of the audio where Cameron was speaking in this made up language and tried to do an impression of him in a mask like Darth Nihilus. Howard said he'll have to learn to speak the language himself. Robin said there are people who want to live in this land that James Cameron created.
Howard said he has to go back and watch that ''True Romance'' movie again. He has to see that scene with Dennis Hopper in it. Robin said he's not in the movie for very long before he gets shot.
Howard took a call from the Chorizo guy, Bobby, who does the songs about Robin. He told Howard Julian Lennon made a reference to him in his song. Bobby played the song but Howard cut him off. He said he knew it was a bit and wondered how long he was supposed to stay with it.
Howard said Sal and Richard took some Gilbert Gottfried audio clips and called a Swap Shop show. The host just hangs up on them though. Howard played the call and the guys just played Gilbert making sounds like he was trying to take a shit. They hung up on him with that and took another one where Gilbert was doing his black impression.
Howard said he was going to stop it there but they had Gilbert doing his Groucho impression and it didn't go so well. He said he likes Gilbert's Groucho though so he played the call. The hosts just went along with what Gilbert was saying and thought it was a real call. They ended the show with a song so Howard wondered if it was on real radio or on the internet. He said they can't possibly be on real radio.
Sal came in and said that they are on an FM station in Kentucky and they are also on the internet. Sal said they have about 6-10 lines going at once when they make those calls. He said they do that for about an hour to get through with those shows. Sal said they're working on a new one that's pretty funny. It's him and Richard doing their husband and wife characters. He didn't want to give away too much about it though.
The caller was also saying that a prank call they played last week sounded scripted with Richard Simmons and some guy. Howard said the call wasn't scripted. The caller didn't believe it. Howard said he wishes they could have calls like that scripted. Howard said he didn't like this guy's hostility and he didn't have to sit there and listen to it. He hung up on the guy. He said he hates when people try to plant a seed in someone's head like that because it can ruin the song for you.
Howard played the audio of Mo'Nique giving her speech where she was thanking god for letting her go on this great ride she was on. Howard said no white woman could ever pull this off. He said only a black chick can do this. He played more of the audio and said he didn't even know what she was talking about in the clip.
Howard said he likes Merryl Streep as an actress. He said that she made a speech and he had no idea what she was talking about at the awards show. He played that audio and tried to figure it out. Howard listened to it but it still wasn't making any sense to him. She wasn't making a point.
Howard ended up talking about James Cameron's Navi talk. He did an impression of that and goofed on Cameron for a short time. Howard said there's some assshole out there studying the language for some future Comic-Con.
Ralph called in and said that Mo'Nique should have covered up her arms too because that was really unattractive. Ralph talked about some of the other speeches at the show and goofed on them too. Howard played some more audio of the speeches that Ralph was goofing on. He had some audio of Drew Barrymore going up and acting all stupid.
JD said that Drew plays dumb with the relationship thing like Jennifer Aniston does. He said she says that she and Justin Long are just friends even though they're always out together.
Ralph said that the other annoying thing is when celebrities tell their kids to go to bed. Howard said Sandra Bullock did that first and then Julia Roberts gave a shout out to her kids. Howard said that Sandra had just done it and Julia had to go up and do it too. It wasn't original. He told her to have someone write a speech for her instead of doing something lame like that. Howard said Sandra was actually telling Janine Lindemulder's kid to go to bed. Howard let Ralph go after that.
Robin read about some of the names from the Avatar movie that people will be going to Comic-Con as. She said there's already an Avatar game out too. Howard said he's going to go to Comic-Con dressed as the fat black chick from ''Precious.'' He wondered how that would go. Robin said that would be brilliant.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said that he really has to do the Tonight Show. Howard said he thought long and hard about it. Hanzi said he could even take a day off. Howard said Rosie O'Donnell said that she'd even fly him out there. Howard said he's not even sure they'd let him on the show now. Hanzi said he guarantees they'd let him on. Fred doesn't believe it will happen. They've given Conan a gag order already. Howard said he wouldn't even get in the door out there. Hanzi told him to defecate on a Jay Leno poster or something.
Steve said that Jackie the Joke Man is going to be the chairman of the Hoboken Film Festival. They'll have more on that. He said they also have a story about Joe Halderman who was accused of black mailing David Letterman. Steve got in a plug for Jackie's Joke Hunt which is on tonight at 7pm on Howard 101. That led to Howard doing his Jackie impression and goofing on him for a short time.
Howard said his gift to everyone is Jackie's show. He said that Jackie likes to almost say the word ''cunt'' with that Jackie's Joke Hunt name but he might as well say it since they can say that word there.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they'll try to get to today. They spent a short time talking about some of those things while Jon ran down his list. Howard talked about how his call to Artie lasted about a minute. He said it was really awkward. He said Artie is in a bad place and he's not sure what to say. He said Artie didn't have much to add either. He said he asked if he wanted him to visit but Artie doesn't seem to want visitors. Colin Quinn seems to make him happy but Robin said that he didn't appear too happy when she was there with Colin.
Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview and Howard ended up talking about how his father never talked about his time in the military. Howard said his father never saw any action. He said he has never had any action in his life, ever. Gary said his father never talked about it either. He said he'd get upset when anyone would talk about seeing any type of action. Howard said he would have talked about it if he had been in the military. He would brag about all of the guys he killed.
Robin started her news with a story about a woman in Brooklyn who had 35 cats. She started with 2 and didn't have them spayed or neutered so they kept breeding. The woman even gave away a lot of kittens and she still had 35 in the apartment. She said that they allowed her to keep 2 but the rest are up for adoption.
Robin read about a girl whose pit bulls mauled her father. She had to turn them over to authorities.
Robin read another story about the NY1 channel there in the city. She said this guy Dominic Carter did a show for them and he just got arrested and convicted for wife beating. NY1 has said they're not going to renew his contract.
Robin read a story about people doing heli-skiing and a woman died doing it when she fell into a creek and her helmet got stuck between two rocks. Howard said he's going to start skiing from a helicopter but you light yourself on fire as you're skiing down the hill. Robin read about the woman whose head got stuck in the creek. She said that the helmet got wedged between two rocks and the guide wasn't able to help her so she drowned.
Robin said they found a human head near the tomb of a Mexican drug lord. She didn't have a lot of details on that.
Robin read about Tiger Woods being in a sex rehab center in Mississippi. That led to Howard talking about how he must have some real problems to do what he did. Howard said the guy may need a lot of help to get over this whole thing. He said if he were a heroin addicted he'd probably be doing 50 bags a day. Robin said that Roger Federer spoke to Tiger. Howard imagined what his conversation was like with Roger and had the same conversation he and Artie had.
Robin read a story about Reggie bush, Kim Kardashian's boyfriend, making a deal with her to propose to her if his team wins. Robin wondered what winning a game has to do with the guy wanting to get married.
Robin read about Jay Leno revealing that he's going back to do The Tonight Show. She and Howard spent a short time on that subject. They talked about how cool Jay used to be and how lame he has become since taking over the Tonight Show. Howard said he loves that the world hates Jay now. He thanked the world for that. Robin had some audio clips to play from Jay's show.
Robin read a story about Jeff Zucker going on Charlie Rose's show to talk about Jay and Conan and the Tonight Show.
Robin read about the death toll in Haiti being raised from 100,000 to 200,000. She said people still haven't had food or water since the Earthquake last week. They're sending over some help from this country though. Robin read about who is going over and what they'll be doing. Robin read about Wyclef Jean's charity that's sending stuff over to Haiti.
Howard said he's really disgusted with himself. He said Robin is reading about Haiti and he has a boner. He said he's disgusted by what goes on in there. He said he's just hard all the time. He said ''Come over and help me out...'' Robin asked what she could do but Howard said he as asking Fred to come over.
Robin read about some of the celebrities who are helping out with the Haiti thing. She read about Bono from U2 and Justin Timberlake performing for a benefit concert.
Howard asked about Lady Gaga. Robin said Lady Gaga collapsed the other night at a concert. She claimed that she was crying all day after that because she felt she had let her fans down. Howard said he had donated to the cause but ''not enough.'' Robin said she donated $5 at Whole Foods the other day but she said she's going to write a check to the Red Cross as well.
Howard said he had some fun this weekend with the wine that Robin gave him for his birthday. He said he's not going to take her up on her other gift though. He said she told him to invite 8 of his friends out to a fancy dinner and she'd pay. Robin said she really wants to do it but Howard said he just can't make that call to her. Robin said it's just a dinner date. Robin was upset about the whole thing. She said she can't go on with this if that's the way he's going to be.
Robin said that it was Martin Luther King Jr. day yesterday. She said that Jesse Jackson is still going around talking about Martin Luther King Jr. She had some audio of that for Howard to play.
Robin read about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar who is suffering from Leukemia. She said that he was diagnosed in 2008 with this type of leukemia Robin had some audio of Kareem talking about that. That led to Howard talking about how he's going for a physical on Thursday and he has to get the finger up the ass. He said that he's got to remember to wear dark underwear for that just in case there is staining.
Robin read about a rally that was held for Conan yesterday. She said that she didn't have any numbers for people who showed up for the rally. Howard said when they got fired from NBC they had about 3 fans show up to protest. Robin had some audio of some people at the rally talking about why they thought it was wrong. Robin mentioned that they're calling Conan ''Coco'' but no one was sure why that was.
Robin read a story about how Dennis Hopper's wife is barricaded in his house. Howard said that's what he was talking about earlier. She said that this wife is doing this now and they don't expect Dennis to live more than a month and she's still doing it. Robin said Hopper is trying to get her evicted from their home.
Robin read a story about the country's first legal male prostitute. She said that he's at a ranch in Nevada. He's calling himself Marcus and he will only work with women. Howard said he's going to be very lonely waiting for women.
Robin read about Dwayne Johnson's new movie ''Tooth Fairy'' and had some audio of him talking about the movie. Howard let that play for a short time before he cut it off saying ''What a plot!''
Robin had a story about the movie ''Legion'' that's coming out. She said she's wondering if it's any good because it looks good in the previews. She had some audio of Dennis Quaid talking about that. She also had some Mel Gibson audio but Howard passed on that. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:55am.
Jon moved on to talk about Howard not wanting to fly out to do Conan. Gary said he would love for it to happen. He said if they didn't let Howard on then it would be a huge story. If they do let him on they could bleep stuff out.
Jon had Scott DePace come in and asked him about his fight with Gary. Scott said he had an opinion about the game and Gary didn't let him have one. Gary said Scott's opinion was wrong. Scott said he feels that Gary's way is the only way when it comes to that stuff. Gary said he feels the same way about Scott.
Scott and Gary argued about how the Jets won. They went back and forth arguing about that for a couple of minutes. Scott said the Chargers just blew the game. Gary said it sounds like sour grapes to him.
Ralph called in and said he hates to agree with DePace but he does. Gary said Ralph was off because he wasn't talking about other games, just this Saturday game. Ralph and Gary got into it for a short time too.
Jon Hein said that the Chargers always choke so he and Scott got into it a little bit too. At one point everyone was talking over everyone else. They were getting all worked up over this and Jon said the only thing that matters is the score at the end of the game.
DePace said he hates all New York teams. JD said he does too. Scott said he's not sure he'd even watch the big game if they got into it. Gary said no one wants him anyway.
Jon said there is some kind of deep down hatred between the two of them. Gary said that Scott doesn't respect him and he has this arrogant attitude sometimes.
JD said they were both sounding like a couple of babies to him. Gary said JD is a baby, he cried when his team lost. JD said he didn't cry.
Jon said that a lot of people think that Scott's opinion is wrong. Scott said he really doesn't give a shit. He said he doesn't have to come to work and just pretend to be the opposite of everyone else. He said he's not jumping in and liking the Jets just because everyone else does.
Gary was saying that Scott would never change his opinion on anything no matter what anyone says. He refuses to move no matter what. Scott said he can see other sides to things. He said he had a lighting guy tell him how to fix something and he went with him over his own thoughts on how to fix it.
Jon asked Scott about who he respects for their opinion. Scott said he's not sure. He said he doesn't respect Howard's political opinions but he might respect Fred for some of his thoughts on history and stuff. Scott said he's not going to change his mind on things if someone else has a different opinion.
Gary didn't understand why Scott is so stubborn and basically saying that no one else's opinion matters. Scott said he thinks it sounds like they want him to follow someone else's opinion for no good reason.
Jon asked Scott if he would listen to other opinions about a golf game. Scott said he would listen to other people but he isn't going to change his opinion. He said he wouldn't respect Jon or Gary's opinions on golf if they had one. Scott said he isn't arrogant, he's just confident. Gary said that's such a common saying and he's heard it many times.
Jon wondered if Scott is jealous of the success he had with his web site. Scott said he respects that but he doesn't get why people like to hear his opinion on what's good on TV.
Gary said Jon has made his living on that and he basically just said ''who cares what you think.'' Scott said Jon is welcome to his opinion and he's keeping his. Jon said that no one is telling him to follow his opinion, but there are people who like to see what he has to say.
Jon and Gary said that Scott is just jealous. They joked that it was anti-Semitism too but Scott said that he married a Jewish woman.
Jon took a call from a guy who got into it with Scott too. He said he thinks that Scott just likes to fight with Gary and that's what this was all about. They spent a few more minutes talking about football after that.
Jon let Scott go and said they were going to move on. He asked the guys if they felt Scott was arrogant. JD said he was the most arrogant guy he had ever met in his life. He said he was just joking about that though.
Scott heard all of that and came back in. Jon asked if Scott felt Gary was more arrogant than him. Scott said he is and he's not arrogant himself. Scott said he's just confident. Scott and Gary got into it again and Scott ended up saying he mis-spoke at one point. Gary sounded shocked that he was admitting that. They went to break a short time later.
JD said she didn't really just give him advice like Gary thought she was going to based on the email she sent him. Jon asked how he's going to bring it to the next level. JD said it will take time, effort and persistence. He said he won't stalk her or anything. He said they may have a movie date but he'll have to wait and see what happens. He said she just gave him a ''maybe'' on that.
JD said that Ashley noticed he wasn't stuttering and he was able to speak to her. JD said that he told her that he was only interested in one girl at the time and she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. He said he was fine with that because he's not looking to get married or anything. JD told the guys about contacting Ashley and how she gave him that maybe about the movie but the movie was her idea.
Jon asked JD if he would be okay with just being friends with her. JD said he's not sure. He said if that happens to be what happens then ''whatever.'' He said he does like her but he's not looking to just be friends. He said he's just taking baby steps right now.
Gary said they were talking in the back office and they were saying that he did go on a date with her so maybe this could work out. He said that they told JD not to become just her friend though. They don't want him getting into Gange territory. JD said he's trying not to fall in love and get too invested. He's keeping his guard up.
Benjy asked if he just paid the bill or did she make a move for the bill. JD said he just picked it up and gave the guy his credit card. JD said the bill was only like $19 so he tipped like $5.
Gary asked if anyone recognized them on the date. JD said if they did no one came up and said anything. JD said he was focused on her the whole date so he doesn't know if anyone was looking at them either. Gary said that's a good move.
Jon took a call but the guy wasn't there. Gary said the note said that he was surprised with JD's smoothness on the date. Gary agrees. JD said it's the starting to talk with people that's hard for him. He said once he starts talking he's better. Jon asked if the meds are helping. Gary said maybe that's what it is.
Another caller said that JD was telling too much info about this date. He said he has to shut up about it and keep it on the down low. The guy said women like it better when you don't talk. JD said he's just being honest and saying that he's not falling in love. He said he likes her. He said he really doesn't care if she hears this or not.
Benjy asked JD if he would ask out another girl on the show if he was attracted to one. JD said he might if Howard suggested it. He said he wouldn't have asked Ashley out if Howard hadn't suggested it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this girl is never going to date JD. He thinks they're setting him up for failure. Gary disagreed and said he thinks JD has a shot. The caller said it's going to take a lot of plastic surgery on JD's part.
Jon asked JD about his birthday party at Rick's last week. JD said Ronnie told him about a Howard TV shoot they were doing at Rick's and they told him that it was a Tribute to Rick's so he said he would come. He said he thought about it some more and figured something was up. He said Jason seemed to know something was up too. JD said he and Ronnie walked into Rick's and the coat check girl knew that he was the birthday boy. JD said he saw all of the guys from the show there.
JD said he had a good time at the party. He said he wanted to thank everyone involved. Jon said that it was Ronnie who put it all together. He asked Gary if he thinks that it was a selfish thing or were they doing it for JD. Gary said Sal is the one who may have done it for selfish reasons. Sal needs any reason to leave his house.
Gary said he wanted to go to the party but he had things to do. Jason went and said that Sal has turned into Ronnie and he had 2 or 3 girls at a time at the party. Gary said Sal would never pay for it out of his pocket either. He said that there are two kinds of parties and one of them is when Howard is there and they give them some money. He said when Howard isn't there Lonnie will introduce the guys and get them a dance for free. He said Sal went up to Lonnie and asked him for money and he's not sure how long that went on. He said Sal doesn't have any shame about asking Lonnie for money. Gary said that sounds about right.
Sal came in and said that he is generous with his money and he can't even talk about it because if his wife finds out, he's going to get into trouble. He said that he tipped the coat check girl 20 bucks that he borrowed from Ronnie. Sal said he wouldn't do that anywhere else though. Gary said he was just showing off.
Ronnie came in and said that no one is him. He said that Sal might be taking over for him but it's only during the day shift. He said Sal is over there a lot.
Sal said he's married and he likes to watch the girls dancing with each other and not on him. Jason said that must be the line they're taking there. He went along with Sal and pretended that's what was going on.
Gary said he heard that Sal went in there one day and one of the girls asked him how his vacation was with the family. That's how well they know him over there. Sal said he tells all of the girls stories but he claims that he learned it from the rest of the guys.
Gary asked what he gets out of the lies. Sal said it's a funny thing to do to the girls. Ronnie said that's not the way it sounded on Thursday. Ronnie said there were no girls with accents with Sal. Sal said he shoos them away pretty quick.
Gary said he heard Sal take a girl over to Lonnie and tell him that she was the hottest girl he had ever seen and he needed a dance from her. Lonnie will give him some money to get a dance. Sal said that it's like getting a free meal from the chef. He said that he's very generous and grateful for the good times he has there. Sal said he gave JD some money for his birthday and he spent a lot of money there.
Gary said he likes that Sal and his wife are still spending money even though their financial manager told them to stop. They're both still going out and spending.
Jason said a few years ago back at Scores, or ''the old place,'' Sal had to go to the ATM machine to take money out. He had to take out the maximum each time and the girl stood there waiting for him.
Gary said he and Stuttering John used to do appearances and John would always leave his wallet in his car. He said he'd always ask to borrow money. Gary got wise to it and stopped letting him borrow it.
Ronnie had to run so he wrapped up with his stories about what went on there. Jon moved on after that and took a call from a guy who said that between Sal and JD they couldn't get laid in a whore house with a handful of 50s. Sal said he's most likely right.
The caller asked Gary what he and Fred talked to Artie about. Gary said that Fred is very talkative and they both talked a lot there. Gary said Fred is a normal guy and he doesn't just chew on a Sharpie.
Gary said that Artie is in a place that he needs to be in right now and it's not easy to get a hold of him on the phone. He said that it's a hard time for the guy right now.
Jon wondered if Howard would do Conan for any reason. JD said he thinks it would be a great thing if he did the show. He gets why he hates to fly so much. JD said it might take a direct quote from Leno to get Howard to go on that show and respond. Benjy said he thinks that it might be anticlimactic at this point. Gary said he thinks that it would be great because he was there for the Arsenio Hall show incident when they had to take Howard out with armed guards. He said it was really uncomfortable to watch and it was great.
Sal said it would make for great radio and TV. Jason said he thinks the window has closed already and it's not going to happen. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about it being Wednesday already. He said that they're only working 3 days this week. He said it's a good thing for him to go through because his contract is up and he was wondering if he could do less days. He said he realized it's too exhausting. He said he's just kidding and he loves it there. He said the show can go on a little long when it goes 5 hours.
Howard said they had a meeting yesterday and plotted out the channels for the rest of the year. He said he was in a meeting with Tim Sabean and David Haight. He said they all agree on what the channels will be for the next year. He said he can't let anyone know what they're doing. Not even Robin. He told her to let him drive that fucker right into the ground. Robin laughed and told him to get his hands off the controls.
Howard said he loves the tabloids but there is someone who is a civilian who is getting caught by shrapnel. He said he's feeling bad for Pierce Brosnan's wife. He said it's fascinating to him that this woman, who has been on the cover of the Globe like 17 times. She's very heavy and Pierce is a good looking man and he finds it odd that he's married to a fat woman. Robin said it has to be fascinating to other people too. He said he loves looking at it to see this woman that Pierce is married to. Howard said she used to be a good looking woman.
Howard said he thinks that women like to see that because they think Pierce doesn't care that she has gained weight. He said that she's saying that she needs to lose weight for her healthy which is true. Howard said she's not a celebrity though so he feels bad for her always being photographed.
Howard talked about some of the other stories in the tabloids. He said he does enjoy the Pierce Brosnan's wife pictures though.
Howard said he was blown out by the movie. He said he had to wear the 3D glasses and he brought two pair of his own glasses so he could have his sunglasses with him. He figured he'd change at the time when no one had to see him in his regular glasses.
Howard said about 90 percent of the way through the movie he realized he was wearing his sunglasses. He said he thought the movie was dark. He said he switched the glasses and it was much better.
Howard said he loved the movie. He said it was a little long but he appreciated looking at the visual. He said he thought the story was good too though. Howard said it's like Dances with Wolves or something like that. He said it's basically that the white man is bad.
Howard said he really loved the movie and he's glad it's making a lot of money. It encourages people to go out and make these big movies.
Howard said James Cameron is an innovator. He said he created Terminator and did the first two right. Howard said the guy is good at what he does and he hits home runs with this stuff. Robin said he did ''Aliens'' but not ''Alien.'' Howard said he didn't know that. He said he did know that he did ''True Lies'' which he liked.
Howard said he had a great time seeing the movie and he's glad it's doing well. He said he might have to go see it again with his clear glasses on. He said he can get annoyed with 3D sometimes but this was pretty cool. He said he didn't get motion sickness like Robin did. Robin said she got sick when she saw it.
Howard said he didn't get to the theater until 4 o'clock and he was kind of fried by the time he saw it. Robin said it was cool the way the 3D puts you in the forest.
Howard said he liked the part when the guys plug in their tails into other animals. Howard asked how they do the blue people in the movie. Robin said they have actors moving and they have the CGI over them. Howard said he felt like he was watching a cartoon.
Howard said he gives the movie a big thumbs up. Benjy said the movie was long but he could have stayed for hours just watching it. Fred wasn't there and he said he can't see 3D in these movies because he has Amblyopia or something like that. He said he has trouble seeing in 3D.
Howard asked Pete what he did that got him thinking like this. Pete said he's been drinking and it changes everything in your head. Robin asked Pete why he says that everyone is a disappointment. Pete said that it's not just him, it's everyone including Robin. He said that we're only here for 70-80 years and what do we do? Robin asked Pete what he's doing because she's trying to change things with her diet and things like that.
Pete said Robin isn't doing anything and he's smarter than her. Howard said Robin told him what she's doing and she mentioned like 5 good things. Pete said he doesn't believe anything Robin says. Robin said she raised money for Eritrea. Pete said she didn't do it herself. She said she did something with that fame she has. Pete said he could have doubled what Robin made.
Howard said that he would agree with Pete that there are some assholes and some people who are a waste of space on the planet. He said he can't argue with Pete all day. Pete asked who was great in the big picture. Howard and the guys threw out a few names of the people who do great things and there were plenty of good people. Pete said he's not impressed with anything he's hearing. Pete apologized for doing what he did and said his sister was getting upset that he was waking everyone up.
Howard said there are some people who don't contribute to anything out there. He said even the people who adopt dogs and then give them back are just a waste. He said that people just give up after something simple. He said the cat he got was just dumped in a box at a shelter. He said people are a pain in the ass.
Howard and Robin talked about Octomom and what a waste of space she is. She's raising kids for who knows what reason. He said she's just making babies, maybe to be famous. Howard said there are many people who have no purpose and have nothing going on.
Robin said Pete must have run into a bunch of them yesterday or something. Howard talked about how obnoxious people can be and how awful they can be with all of their problems. He said people who smoke get sick and they want society to pay for their health insurance. Howard said smoking is a privilege and it should only be for the very wealthy. He said they're going to end up with huge medical costs and they can't afford it.
Howard said there are also the scumbags who sue people for no good reason. They're just trying to scam to get money. Robin said there are a lot of people who are degenerates who bet at the OTB places. She said that they're trying to win a few bucks and standing in line at the OTB.
Howard said there's a lot of wastes out there and he could point them out on the street if they put him out there. Robin said Bernie Madoff was one of them but he hid it pretty well.
Howard said he agrees with Pete that most people are assholes. He said they say dumb things all day and it's just crazy. He said there were tons of assholes in Roosevelt and Rockville Centre when he lived there. He said they should name those places Asshole Central.
Howard said he had a good example. He said that the woman, Zenaida Perez, who came in there crying and saying that she wanted people to just give her a chance. He said she's gotten really religious and she called in and left them a message about what's going on in Haiti. He played her voice mail and she's saying that the reason that the Haiti disaster happened is because God made it happen because they practice voodoo. Howard said that's just nuts. Howard said they have earthquakes in California too and they have all kinds of religious zealots out there.
Howard said that's like Pat Robertson and his ridiculous comments about Haiti. Howard wanted to play that audio clip too. In that clip Pat talks about why Haiti has all of these awful things happening to them because he claims they had a pact with the devil so they're being punished.
Howard said this guy is another waste of space. Pat Robertson doesn't do anything but scare the crap out of people. He said that this woman on his show is the devil because she's making Pat look legitimate by agreeing with him. Howard went through the clip and goofed on Robertson for a few minutes.
Howard talked about the people of Massachusetts showing Obama that he needs to get his shit together so that's why they voted this guy in. He said that they haven't had a republican senator up there in who knows how long. Howard said this is a wake up call for Obama. He said that people do want change but they don't feel they're being responded to.
Howard said people seem to think that Obama is being arrogant because of the way he acts and people are getting fed up out there. Robin said one problem is that everything is about health care like there's nothing else going on out there.
Howard asked Gary how he got tagged as monkey. Gary said Howard did that. Howard said he grooms and looks like a monkey sometimes. Robin said it came out of the painting era when they would do their paintings of Gary and he would look ape like. Howard said that must be it.
Ed asked why it's okay to call a white guy a monkey and not a black guy. Robin said that black people were called monkeys in a negative way and white people weren't. Howard said they would do that in old cartoons and stuff.
Ed told Howard that Letterman mentioned him last night. Howard said he heard about that and he's going to play the clip. He let Ed go and said he's going to keep calling him Ass Napkin because he likes that name.
Howard said he's gone on Letterman and told him that they don't have to take this shit from Leno. He's never been afraid to do that. He said that Leno is an asshole and it's about time Letterman woke up and started doing this stuff. He said that it took him 100 years to do it but it's good he's doing it. He said he had Robin's triumphant appearance on the Joy Behar show to play as well.
Howard said Robin is being called ''the voice of reason'' and he's tired of hearing that. He said it's such a joke and you just have to read her book to see that she's not the voice of sanity on this show. He played the intro from the Joy Behar show where she introduced Robin and said Robin is the one who brings the sanity to the cuckoos nest. Howard said Robin isn't the voice of reason at all and she's the leader of the insanity.
Howard played Robin's appearance and asked where this show airs. Robin said it's on HLN which used to be CNN Headline News. Howard said he thinks that this is part of Robin's campaign to see what kind of job she might be able to get when he retires. He said Robin is an entertainer and this is an orchestrated campaign to bring her into the limelight. the guys wondered what the lime light thing was. Fred knew what it was and said it was a type of lighting that was used on stage. He read some details from the web about exactly what it was.
A caller asked when they're going to play ''the Jew game'' on the show. Howard said they'll have to get to that soon. He had Fred write it down to remind him about it.
Howard said he thought Joy was a Jew. He said Hitler would have killed her even though she's Italian. Howard said even the name is very Jewish. Robin said that may have been her married name.
The caller was wondering why Robin was on the show so Howard explained more about how this is Robin's campaign to show that she's there and she's a talent to be recognized. He said this was a triumph for her to go on these shows and make them better. Robin did make Joy's show better so she is proving herself.
Howard said Robin announced that she is thinking about doing something big in radio. She didn't give the details about that though. Howard sang along to Robin's news theme song about what she talked about on the show and asked the caller if he understood now. The caller didn't understand what Robin was doing on the show. Howard said that's just Robin taking a shot at stepping out so she can think of the future when he retires.
Howard got back to the Joy Behar clips. In the clip Joy asked Robin about what she thinks of Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien.
While that was playing Robin interrupted and said that there was another earthquake in Haiti this morning. She said that Pat Robertson might be right. Robin said that the earthquake was a 6.1 on the Richter scale. Howard asked if she was trying to avoid the Joy Behar clips. Robin said he was supposed to be playing something else.
Howard asked Robin why she wasn't saying that Jay was a scumbag. Robin said she was saying that he was underhanded but Conan pushed Jay Leno out the door too and he should have been ''bringing it'' to his own show when he started.
Howard played more audio of Robin talking about Conan pushing Jay out and how underhanded that was. Joy said she liked that point of view. Howard said he didn't even know there was an HLN channel. Robin said they tape in the Time Warner building. Howard said she was very triumphant on the show. He sang along to her news theme music again and told her how great she is doing this.
Robin said she ran into Sandra Bernhard at the taping and she was saying she wants to go with Howard to the Tonight Show so she can bash Jay too. Howard said that would be quite a party if he went out there.
Howard played more of the audio and Robin and Joy were talking about the Conan and Jay thing. Robin told Joy about how Leno stole Stuttering John away from the show behind their backs and that's why Howard dislikes Jay so much. Joy said that maybe Howard would have prevented that deal from happening. Howard said that could have been good for John if he had. He said that maybe he would have been able to step up and pay him more.
Howard said they're paying John to be a writer for the Leno show now and they're only doing that because John is a charity case. Howard said he realized that John is a scumbag too because of the things he's said. Howard said he doesn't want John calling there anymore to find out about Artie. He said he had John at his house this summer and he read some comments that John said about him and how his fans should stop drinking the Kool-Aid and that he's a liar and stuff. Howard said he hopes that they fire John now. He said he'd be friends again with Jay if he did fire John.
Howard said he was really good to John and he writes this crap about people drinking the Kool-Aid. Howard said they took away John's job announcing and his parking space on the show already. It's just a matter of time before they fire him.
Howard said they shouldn't be talking about this over Robin's appearance on Joy Behar's show. He got back to the clip and played more of Robin talking to Joy. Robin and Joy were talking over each other so Howard said she needs more freedom to speak. He said he does like Joy though. He said she's out there doing her thing and he likes it.
Howard talked more about the Jay Leno stealing John thing. He said it was a strange thing. He said Jay has freaked out on people for stealing employees from his show but when he does it, it seems to be okay. Howard said he had to take a break and then he'd get back to more of this stuff. He sang to Robin some more about her triumphant TV appearance.
Then Howard asked Fred to come up with some names of people who sound or look Jewish that aren't actually Jewish. He said Fred should be able to come up with some names. Howard came up with Penny Marshall. He said that she's not a Jew and neither is her brother Gary Marshall. He said they're Italian. Fred agreed with him on that. He said Hitler would have thrown them into an oven even though they're Italian. Howard said if you put your mind to it you can think of a lot of people who would be mistaken for being Jews. George Steinbrenner is another one. He said he's not a Jew either. Howard said Jaime Farr was another one who looked Jewish but isn't. Fred, as Kurt Waldheim Jr., said that he's a ''sand Negro.''
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Robin would be like David Lee Roth if she did a radio show on her own. Howard told her to calm down because that's not what Robin was saying she was going to do. Howard said that Mariann seems Jewish even though she's Italian. Robin was upset by this because she just recently told someone that her favorite wack packer is Mariann. She said Beetlejuice is number 2. Howard said he likes Fred the Elephant Boy the best. Mariann apologized to Robin for what she said about her. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and talked about The Beatles song and how it's about an acid trip but they tried to convince people it wasn't. He said the song scared him when he was a kid and heard the song. Howard said acid is scary. Howard said he's a big Navi guy now that he's seen Avatar. He said he's lucky he didn't lose his mind on LSD.
Howard said he was reading about a poll that was held for who should replace Simon Cowell on American Idol and he came in second. Howard said 16 percent said Conan O'Brien and Spencer Pratt came in with a few percent too. Howard said P. Diddy was number 1 in the poll. Howard said he'd have to turn down the job. Robin said she would throw her hat into the ring then.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said that Bubba the Love Sponge is in trouble for some things he said about Haiti. Bubba was wondering why we're sending money and help to them when they don't listen to what we have to tell them about building codes and things like that. Howard said he disagrees with Bubba on that because we have the ability to help people like that. He said that we don't need more enemies either. Howard said helping them will help keep them on the team.
Howard asked who Bubba is in trouble with. Lisa said there are fans who don't like what he said and there are wrestling fans who are upset and he has death threats so he's carrying his gun more than he used to. Howard laughed when he heard all of that. He said he's Bubba, he'll be fine.
Lisa asked Howard if he's going to be part of the Bubba Telethon. Howard said he wasn't asked. Robin said that Larry King had a telethon and they raised $9 million doing that. They had a bunch of celebrities there answering phones.
Lisa said that Paula Gloria is speaking to them about the new medical marijuana bill in New Jersey. Lisa said that her show has shifted to the support of marijuana lately. She's the one who says ''mantra and Yantra makes tantra.''
Lisa said that Richard Christy's new album is coming out in a couple of weeks and he'll be throwing a party for the release. She said that it's getting great reviews so far too. Howard said he hopes it works out for him because he's a great drummer. Howard said he's going to need it since he's going to be a husband. Howard said this isn't like Stuttering John who put out an album that was pretty shitty. Howard said John was just having fun with his guitar and Richard is a real talent. Fred agreed with Howard about John.
Howard let Lisa go and played some of the Paula Gloria show where Sal and Richard prank call her. Howard said she seems like such a nice lady. She's so polite to these guys who are prank calling her. Howard said there was a guy who worked that ''Yantra and mantra creates tantra'' thing into his sports announcing. He played that clip as well.
Howard played another clip from Paula Gloria's show where she took some more calls from Sal and Richard. She likes to say that ''mantra and Yantra creates tantra'' line. In this clip Sal and Richard had George Takei audio clips calling in to talk to her. Then they call in and talk to her too.
Howard said he just got Robin the show and she's already complaining about it. He told her that she could tape it there. Howard said he thought that's why she was on that show, to show her skills.
Howard played more of the interview Robin did with Joy. Joy asked Robin how she goes into work every morning with the guys acting the way they do. Robin was talking about growing up with 3 brothers so she doesn't find it intimidating at all. Howard wondered about this image people have of their show. He said it's not like they're raping Robin every morning or something.
Joy and Robin were talking about the guys and some of the stuff that goes on there. Robin was talking about how she can ''talk guy'' but she is a girl so she will do girl things.
Joy asked how Artie Lange was doing so Robin said that they're pulling for him and praying that he's going to be okay. Joy asked if he's going to return to the show. Robin said that's all up in the air at this point. She said they really don't know right now.
Howard said Robin handled herself very well on the show. Howard said he's not even sure if Artie is going to come back to the planet, never mind the show. He said that Robin's answer was good since they really have no idea if or when he'd come back.
Howard played another clip where Robin talked about a radio show she was working on. She didn't have any details about that and she just moved on to other stuff. Robin said that they can do some really cool stuff on radio to paint a picture for people and she'd like to do that. Joy cut Robin off and talked about being offered a show once where they wanted her to record it in Germany to be broadcast back to Boston.
Howard said that Joy was interrupting Robin with her story and that's just not right. Robin said that's why comedians don't make good interviewers sometimes.
Howard played another clip where Joy asked Robin if she has ever taken a risk and jumped into something she didn't expect to. Howard said he knew one time she did that. It was the time she went out jogging when she had diarrhea and ended up shitting herself. He said that was a risk she took. She went out and jogged the next day too.
In the clip Robin said that doing Howard's show was a risk for her. She said she got started as a nurse and took the risk going into radio. Robin said her friends didn't believe she was going to be on radio but she knew she wanted to do something other than nursing.
Yucko said he heard that Gary is always playing Solitaire over there all the time. He said that Richie Wilson has pictures of him playing all the time too. Yucko said he heard that he lost 28 pounds, what did he do, have a tooth pulled?
Gary went off on Yucko and goofed on him about his wife leaving him. Yucko said that he doesn't have an Achilles heel like he thinks he does. The two of them goofed on each other for a minute.
Howard asked Gary if he really does play solitaire during the Wrap Up Show. Gary said he has done that a couple of times but he hasn't done it in a while.
Howard said maybe Gary should do something on the Wrap Up Show instead of playing the game. Gary said sometimes Benjy will go into one of his long speeches and he zones out playing the game.
Gary told Yucko to call in and try to get booked on the show again. He said he's no good on the show and it will be a long time before he's booked on the show again. Gary said that Yucko hasn't been funny in a long time and he should go back and think about his act. He said a lot of people think that there.
Yucko said he played in front of a sold out show this weekend. Gary said there's no way he could play in front of more than 150 people. Yucko told Gary he has no idea what's going on. Gary said Yucko hasn't been doing that well and he's kind of a downer. Yucko said that's why Howard has picked up on him four times in the past week.
Gary asked Yucko what he's got going on and kept bashing his work and what he's got going on. Yucko said he has more going on in his life than Techno Beaver and solitaire going on. He asked Gary what he's going to do when Howard leaves. Gary said he's got people interested in him so he'll be fine.
Yucko said he heard that Gary wants Kimmel to hire him. Gary said he doesn't know that because he doesn't even talk to Kimmel.
Gary asked Yucko why he doesn't do any other shows. Yucko said he doesn't want to go on any other shows. Gary said he's not going to be known if he doesn't do other shows. Yucko said he has other things going on and he's not going to do this the rest of his life. Yucko said he has people interested in the other stuff he's doing.
Gary told Yucko he has nothing else going on. He was doing all of this over his office microphone and Howard just let them keep going.
Gary asked Yucko who else has him on. Yucko said he doesn't want to go on any other shows. Yucko said he wants to fuck Gary up the ass, that's what he wants to do. Gary said they were the first and last people to be interested in him. Gary said if Yucko is going to fuck with him he's going to fuck right back. He said Yucko used to be funny but now he's just sad. Gary said he's still sad after his wife left him and they hear that when he's on the show. Yucko said he's not sad.
Gary said he's pissed off about Yucko taking shots at him all the time. He said that the last time he was on he got blasted on the air about Bobby Slayton. Gary said it was a dick move on Yucko's part. He said that was the only thing that was interesting during that appearance. Yucko said he has plenty of stuff going on and it's not just that.
Gary asked if begging Artie to do a benefit show for his parents is sad. Yucko said that he didn't ask Artie to do that. He said Artie asked Bob Levy if he could help. Gary said no one wants to know his every move in his life so he shouldn't talk about it all. Gary said that Yucko can't get laid in that outfit so he talks about that stuff on the air too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Yucko should be banned from the show after what he did last time he was on. Gary said he doesn't mind the jokes that Yucko tells but they're just not funny. He said he'd be fine with them if they were funny. Howard asked Yucko if he has any funny material about Gary's dead brother. Yucko said he fucks with everyone and he does have funny stuff.
Yucko said that Sal got hired there and he goofed on Gary for years. Gary said he likes Sal though. Howard cut them off and said that one of the ways to fight a comedian is to tell them they're not funny. Howard said Yucko has become Roger all of a sudden and he seems to want out of show business. Howard said that was quite a fight. He thinks that Gary won that one. Robin said Gary came in with the heavy ammo today.
Howard asked Yucko if he expected this today. Yucko said he had no idea he was harboring so much hate for him. He said Gary is attacking him like the Navi were attacked. Howard told him to get his bow and arrow and figure out how to fight back. Howard said he has to get some more secret ammo to blast back.
Gary said he's done with Yucko now. Fred said he needs to bury Yucko today or he'll be haunted by him in a week or a month from now. Yucko said he was already writing. Gary said he's not worried about that because he hasn't written anything funny in a year.
Yucko said he's going to get back at Gary but Gary was goofing on him for not coming up with his own stuff off the top of his head. Yucko said he wanted to do a sneak attack. Gary told Yucko he has to get back in the game and refocus. Howard told Yucko to get right on that. Gary told him to go back to what he did on the show originally and not focus on him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Yucko didn't have shit to say so he thinks that Gary won this fight. He said that it was almost a TKO. Howard said he was looking at Gary wondering why the hair on his face was looking the way it was. He said the moustache was looking younger than the beard by about 30 years.
Yucko said that Gary is about ''as funny as a nig*er baby under the rubble in Haiti.'' Gary said he took all of the elements from the news but it just wasn't funny.
Gary asked Yucko if he had anything to plug right now. Yucko said he's not doing gigs but he can't say what he's doing because the people he works for wouldn't like him doing the N-word jokes. Howard said he thinks that Yucko is a clown for the CIA. Howard asked Gary if he's done now. Gary asked how many iPhone apps they sold. Yucko said they sold a bunch of those. Gary asked how much he made from it. Yucko said that they sold over $1000 worth the first day. Gary said he doesn't believe it. He said there's no way that they found anyone to buy that ''Insult-o-Matic'' app. Yucko said that it says insults and stuff about fat people and things like that.
Another caller said that he doesn't get why Gary can take cheap shots and Yucko for no good reason. Gary said that Yucko took a shot at him first. The caller said he wasn't being funny either and he was taking cheap shots at Yucko. Gary said he was just saying that Yucko isn't funny anymore. Howard cut them off and said they were going over the same stuff again.
Gary told Yucko to call Will to get booked on the show from now on. He said he doesn't want him emailing him and telling him he's kidding.
Ralph called in and told Yucko to turn on the app and try to come up with a zinger for Gary. Yucko said he doesn't even have an iPhone.
Ralph said Avatar was amazing. Howard said Ralph is a huge fan. Ralph said he thought the story was great. Howard agreed and said it was an excellent movie.
Howard said Gary was fighting with Scott on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he's not sure why he was on Scott the way he was. Howard said that he was kind of on Scott's side in the argument.
Gary said that he was just saying that Scott is unwilling to listen to anyone's opinions so he would never change his own because of someone else's. Howard said he does that sometimes. Scott said that he has changed his opinions about TV based on what Howard has said. He said that Howard has changes his opinion on how to do some things with the show.
Scott said that he's not a sponge and he's not just waiting for someone to tell him what to think. Gary said that's not what he's talking about. He said Scott isn't willing to listen to anyone because he's so stubborn.
Gary said all of this started because of what Scott was saying about the Chargers loss to the Jets. Scott was saying that they didn't lose to the Jets, they just choked. Howard said they had an opponent and they failed. It's as simple as that. Howard and Scott started to argue over that. Scott said one of the touchdowns the Jets got was because of a crappy throw. Howard said that maybe they were stronger than they expected and it threw them off.
Gary gave his thoughts on the game and some of the plays and how badly the Chargers were playing. Scott didn't want to hear it and argued that they may have just had a mental error. Fred asked why they had a mental error but Scott didn't want to believe it was because they were thrown off by the Jets. Scott said they were all wrong and he was right. He said the Jets just suck and they're going to lose badly.
Howard said Scott plays video games and he must not win every time. Scott said he takes chances that other people don't take and he could be winning more if he just hid behind a barrel in the game like other people do. Howard said this is some team of people he's put together there. He let Scott go after that.
Howard said he's never accidentally said ''Martin Luther Koon.'' He tried to do that but it doesn't come out unless he wants to. He said that this guy Mike Greenberg was claiming that it was a jumble of King and Junior that came out as ''Koon.'' Howard said he loves apologies like that.
Howard said he didn't play the Letterman clip from last night. He said that they did this bit about Jay Leno's new promo and they basically talk about Jay stealing stuff. Howard played the clip where Dave was talking up this bit. They played the phony promo for the new Tonight Show and in that bit they say that all of the elements of the Jay Leno Show and all of the stuff they've stolen from the Letterman show and bits stolen from the Howard Stern Show and the announcer they stole from the Howard Stern Show.
Howard said they acknowledged that Jay is a thief. He said he really is but Jay denies it. Howard said Jay stole a bit from Letterman and that was the one where Dave used to show the ads that were in the paper and now Jay does that. Howard said Dave hit it right on the head with that bit.
Howard got back to the Joy Behar clips with Robin after that. He played a clip where Joy was asking some questions they were getting through Twitter.
Ralph called in and told Howard how great the Letterman bit was because they had Stuttering John holding up his coffee cup. Howard said John actually called Gary to tell him he came up with that coffee cup thing to distinguish himself on the show. Howard said at that point John had been left out of the show except for that one camera shot. He had to do something to get attention for himself on the show.
Fred did an impression of John talking about that cup thing and goofed on him for a minute. Howard said John devised this coffee cup bit all by himself. Howard said maybe John could hold up things that are related to things in the news. He could hold up rubble from Haiti or a Conan wig when Jay is busy taking over the Conan show. Howard said that would have been funny.
Howard said John would get to work and do nothing all day so he had to think of something to do. That's how he came up with the coffee cup thing. Howard said he really should do the news related stuff. He said John could have held up a Michael Jackson glove or something when Jackson died. Ralph said Jay will probably steal the bit now and start doing it.
Robin asked if they think Jay will give John back his job as the announcer. Howard said that won't happen. He said the one thing they changed on Leno's show when they moved to 10 was firing John from the announcer gig.
Howard read that Letterman made fun of the Jay Leno announcement that it wasn't his fault that Conan failed. He was going to play that but Fred said they had to take a break. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked about what a great song that is. He sang along to it a little bit. He said He didn't know that Jimmy Fallon could do such a great Neil Young impression. He played the clip of him doing ''Pants on the Ground'' yesterday. Howard said that was the best song that Neil Young ever did, that he never did.
Howard asked Robin if she found herself singing that song yesterday. Robin said there was something else stuck in her head yesterday. Howard had the clip of Jimmy Fallon singing that ''Pants on the Ground'' song that was actually taken from American Idol from a 62 year old guy who sang it during an audition.
Howard played the Jimmy Fallon clip and talked about how great his impression of Neil Young is. He said the visual is great too so he suggested checking it out on YouTube.
Howard said Richard tried to turn the original into a heavy metal song. He played that clip as well. Robin said she liked that version. Howard said that version was very energetic. Robin said she was doing her Neil Young impression during the Jimmy Fallon bit.
Howard said there's a guy who wrote a song about Robin to the tune of Fallon's version of ''Pants on the Ground'' and it was ''Pants Are Always Down.'' Howard played that one and said that it was from this guy Psyche. He had another one from that guy that was ''Black Bottomed Girl'' to the tune of Queen's ''Fat Bottomed Girl.''
Howard said they're great with their song parodies. He said the music is good and so are the lyrics. Howard said he can see a visual as he's hearing them describe Robin bent over and taking it in the ass.
Bobo said that they also have $100 million in free cash flow so he's guessing that Howard will be sticking around. Howard said they might have that money because Artie isn't showing up to work.
Howard brought up Bobo's wig and Bobo said he has a new system going and it's short hair so you can't even tell it's a toupee. Howard said when you have a ''system'' on your head people can tell.
Howard said Bobo sent over his old toupee to Haiti. He said they're able to sleep in that thing and carry water in it.
Bobo said that this Sunday is Ashley's birthday. Bobo said he actually showed up to the hospital that day. Howard said that was the day he started carrying a gun. Howard said he called security and had them remove the guy. Bobo said he didn't do that. He said he was really cool about the whole thing. Bobo said Howard had his surgical mask on that day.
Howard said that whole thing was like a three ring circus. He said he got his daughter out of there as soon as possible. They let him take her home immediately. Bobo said that he was able to figure out the code word to get up there that day and Howard's parents were right ahead of him on his way up.
Howard let Bobo go and talked about how he had to take security into his own hands after that. He said the hospital was great and they were very accommodating but he had to do security himself. Howard said Ashley is turning 17 this weekend. He said they got her a car from Wayne Segal and they'll have to see what happens. He said he hates when his kids get their license. Howard said it's rough.
Howard said he went driving with Ashley and he hates doing that. He said he's really nervous when he drives with anyone else. He said Ronnie is a really angry driver. He said he goes flying forward sometimes in the car. The ride can be pretty rough with him.
Howard said he went out test driving some vehicles with Ashley. He said he was in the back and he eventually forgot that she was driving. Howard said that Wayne was in the back taking to him so he just forgot that she was driving. Howard said she can parallel park and stuff and that's good for her.
Howard said they bust your balls in the test but that's fine. He said that they make cars now that will park themselves. He said that's pretty cool. Robin said that's no fair. She said that's like cheating.
Howard said Jay's statement was bizarre. He played that one before the letterman thing. In the clip Jay explained how the whole tonight show takeover got started back in 2004. He explained how he agreed to let Conan take the show because that's what NBC wanted.
Howard said that Letterman says that he's known Jay for many years and this is all typical Jay. He said it's great. He kept playing the Leno statement to get that out of the way. Jay was basically saying he knew the 10 o'clock show wouldn't work.
Howard played the Letterman clip where Dave talked about the Tonight Show thing. Dave said that he's known Jay for like 35 years and they used to buddy around in the old days. He said that what they're seeing now is the old Jay who does this kind of thing. Dave said he was going to keep his mouth shut because he has his own problems but he just can't help himself. Dave said that he and Paul may be responsible for what happened over there at NBC. Dave said NBC lost them when they screwed him over with the Tonight Show thing and they didn't want that to happen again. That's why they made the deal with Conan.
Dave said that Jay told people not to blame Conan for what went on. Dave said he said to himself ''no one is blaming Conan.'' Dave said Jay was saying they should blame Conan's agent and manager for what went on. Dave then begged everyone to please don't blame Conan. He said that a lot of people think Conan pushed himself out of a job but he would never do that to himself. Dave said ''Please... don't blame Conan.''
Dave was also saying that Jay let everyone know that Conan is a good family guy. Dave said he hopes that they're not planning on blaming Conan. Dave said no one has blamed Conan yet. Dave did an impression of Jay asking people not to blame Conan.
Howard said he likes all of this. There's all of this sniping at each other. Robin said it's entertainment at its best. Howard said all of these guys are relevant all of a sudden. He said he doesn't like jokes but he's enjoying this.
JD told Howard that Dave was saying some stuff about Jay and saying that he should have left NBC and retired. JD said he found it interesting but he wasn't sure if Howard would.
Howard said that was a statement from JD Ashley Dupre. He said he's been hearing from a lot of people who think that JD is being played by Ashley. He read some of the email he got about JD and Ashley's date. Some people were saying she was just being nice to him and she's just not into him. JD can't even put a sentence together according to some.
JD said he actually hasn't heard from her lately. Some guys were saying that she actually is in JD's league and he should keep trying to date her. JD said he doesn't believe in ''leagues'' anyway.
Howard said one guy gave Robin some advice and suggested she not keep saying that ''her driver told her'' stuff. The writer said it was very snobby. Howard said she has a driver though. Howard said she could say ''a black man in a hat who sits in my car'' instead. Robin said he doesn't wear a hat.
Howard said he had a lot of mail about Scott DePace but there were too many to read. Someone was saying that Mad Dog Russo was blaming Conan for the mess at NBC. Howard said some people want him to go out and do the Tonight Show before it ends with Conan. Howard said he was thinking about flying out there but no one from management told him they wanted him to do it. He said if Scott Greenstein had told him to do it, he would have. Howard said he is paid to be there and not paid to go out to do another show.
Howard said it's too late to go out there now anyway. He said it's Wednesday already and tomorrow is another day he can't go so that's that.
Howard talked about that Dick Ebersol guy who was bad mouthing Conan. He said he knew that they would do that to Conan. He said the guy is pulling a major scumbag move by doing that. He said some people were pointing out how the guy took over SNL for a while and he ruined SNL in 1980 by firing a bunch of people. They also pointed out some of the awful people Dick hired for SNL. Howard said he doesn't care but it's really tacky that they're going after Conan the way they are.
Howard said he asked JD if this was a good clip to play and JD didn't know what to say about it. He played the clip and in that one Dave was talking about how he found out he wasn't going to get The Tonight Show so they left the company. Dave said it was clear there was no room for him at NBC and he moved over to CBS to do his little show there. Dave said when NBC told Jay that he was going to be replaced he should have left. Dave said that Jay was like standing in the lobby waiting in the wings. He said Jay should have gone to another network to punish them. That way they would all have a job.
Howard said he likes all of this and this is exactly what should have happened. He said that Dave talking about things the way he is really works. He said they should say what they feel and not say them in a punch line. He said it's way more compelling than a monologue. Howard said he likes real stuff. Give it to him in the face and he likes it.
Howard said he loves the news department and the stories they do. They have some great sound effects they play and things like that. He said the whole thing is great and he has to applaud them for what they do.
Robin said she had a friend who expected real news the first time she heard the Howard 100 News. Howard said he tuned in and heard about High Pitch Eric's new job and loved it. He said that's the kind of news he wants to hear.
Brad Driver from the news department was in Gary's office and told him that the clip the guy was talking about is ''Around the world and up your block'' and they have a clip saying ''We have a blinking high level light'' playing under that. It was a clip from some movie.
Howard had Fred do his Kurt Waldheim Jr. character to play Guess Who's The Jew. Kurt said that he's not a Nazi, he's a republican. He was also cheering on the Jets. Kurt was talking about Tiger Woods and how he's not crazy about him or many other types of people. Howard asked if the Jews caused the earthquake in Haiti. Kurt said that of course they did because the People of Haiti signed a deal with the devil.
Kurt moved on to his game and said that one of the three people he's going to give out is a Jew. The other two are not. The caller, Billy, was going to play but they had trouble figuring out what his name was. Billy said he's not a Jew himself but he does know some. He said the people he works for are Jewish.
The category Billy picked was Spider-Man. The names were Toby Maguire, James Franco and Willam Dafoe. The caller guessed that it was Willam Dafoe. Howard said he thinks that Toby is a Jew. The caller said he can't be one. He stuck with Willam Dafoe. Kurt said it was actually James Franco whose mother is a Jewess.
Howard said he wanted to give the guy his money but he shouldn't. He gave it to him anyway. The caller asked Howard about the way he says ''horrible'' because he sounds like his mother. Howard said he was trapped...or lived with them, for 18 years. Howard said he can't getaway from that. The guy won $711 from 7-Eleven even though he was wrong in the game.
Howard said they brought that bit out of Moth Balls because they were playing it on TMZ recently. He said they did credit him for it but he still wanted to make sure everyone knows where the game comes from.
Howard said they're still working on the Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant. He said that they have some women lined up and they have a $100,000 grand prize for the winner. That money is coming from AshleyMadison.com. Gary said that the less these women get calls from the press, the better off they'll be. The more time that goes by the more calls they'll get from the women who were involved with Tiger.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric is claiming that he's being harassed by a former victim of his. This woman Angel is still in contact with her and she's claiming that Eric invited her to dinner last month. Eric claims that she was arrested for shop lifting but she claims that she was covering for her 13 year old child who stole some shoes. Howard said he might have to have Angel and High Pitch back in there. He said they were on fire when they were on together the last time.
Steve said that Eric the Actor was back doing his American Idol comment show last night. Steve said Eric mentioned that on his twitter page. Steve also mentioned that Big Foot turns 52 years old this week.
Jon Hein came in but his mic wasn't working. Howard figured it was Scott the Engineer again but Scott said he must have hit the A/B button himself. Jon went on to give his rundown of what they'd be talking about today on the Wrap Up Show. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said George Lucas wants to put out some of the Star Wars movies in 3D. Howard said no one wants to see the last 3 in any D. He said that George kind of blew it with those three. Howard said Steven Spielberg wants to put out Schindler's List in 3D. He was just kidding about that though.
Howard played Robin in with a song parody by Little Mikey. Robin started her news with a story about the stories they've done about people who have sex with animals. Robin said they've done a lot over the years. She said she has a story about a man who had sex with a rabbit. She said that a woman came home and found her roommate had sex with her pet rabbit. Howard said that's insane. Robin said the woman found blood and clumps of hair on the bathroom floor. Howard said here really are a lot of sick people out there. He said they should cut his dick off. Robin said the woman found a used condom in the roommate's room with fur on it as well as the injured rabbit. Robin said the rabbit has since died but not from the injuries.
Robin read a story about a man who killed his wife and then killed himself by sawing through his legs and bleeding out.
Ralph called in and said that he has problems with 3D like Fred said he does. He said that he didn't have that problem with this movie. He thinks that Fred might be able to see it in this movie. Fred said that was interesting. He said he'll probably just go see it in ''regular D.''
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and started to read a news story to the guys but Howard hung up on her in the middle of it and said he had no idea what that was about.
Robin read a story about a school that served lunch consisting of fried chicken, collard greens and biscuits to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Robin said they have apologized for the lunch. Howard said people are crazy.
Howard said he had his ring resized and it was still too big. He said he gave them a ring that fit really well and the thing still didn't fit right. Robin told him to have it resized again, it's no big deal.
Robin read about how Steven Spielberg is going to be doing a Biopic about Martin Luther King Jr. She said that they're going to do it with the family's blessing.
Robin had a story about conjoined twins. She said that they had a pair porn in Arizona and the 3 year olds share the same heart and they're going to separate them. Robin wondered how they're going to do that with them sharing a heart. Robin said she figured they'd do a heart transplant in one. Howard said Fred was a conjoined twin but Fred ate the twin. Fred said it tasted like chicken. Robin read some details about the separation and how it may be done by the end of the year or early 2011.
Robin read some news about Haiti and the second earthquake that hit this morning. It was a 6.1 compared to the 7.0 that hit last week. Robin said they're still trying to dig people out of the rubble from the last one. Robin also talked about some rescues that were made that had people cheering in the streets. The people were also chanting ''USA, USA'' when they pulled someone out of the rubble. Howard said that's why we have to help these countries out. He said it's usually ''USA, kill, kill, kill.''
Howard asked Robin if she would abort kids if she knew she was going to have conjoined twins. Robin said if they were viable outside she might keep them. Howard suggested that they were joined at the head and couldn't be separated. Robin had to think about it for a while. Howard then added that one would look like Benjy and the other like Fred. Then Robin said she'd have to have them aborted if they were going to end up like that.
Robin said they have a lack of fuel down in Haiti so they're suggesting they send people out of the city of Port Au Prince but there is no way to get out. Howard said it would be weird if they had an abundance of fuel down there. He said they'd be called Saudi Arabia if they had fuel down there.
Robin read about some of the help that's going to the country and how Oprah Winfrey is doing a special episode to raise money. There's also a George Clooney benefit coming up. That led to Howard goofing on Oprah and Julia Roberts for a short time. He said he hates it when these people get all serious about acting. He said Julia Roberts became all serious but she should be in a hooker outfit.
Robin asked Howard what he would do if he was in a 7.0 earthquake. Howard said they'd have to clean the shit out of his pants first. Robin asked how he would be if he felt a 6.1 today. Howard said he'd have to scoop the shit out of his pants again.
Robin read more about Haiti and Howard said she should think about going there to help out. Robin said she didn't give that a thought but she said that they're asking that people not go over right now. Howard said if he was there they could build a village out of all of the shit in his pants. He said they could build a whole hut for all of the people with that shit. Then the second quake would destroy his hut and he'd have to build another one. He said he wouldn't last a day over there.
Robin had some audio of someone talking about how they need volunteers to help out with what's going on in Haiti. They've stopped taking supplies at the embassy but they're taking cash donations. Robin said they're trying to keep people from leaving the country too. They don't want people to flee the country.
Robin read about the Haiti benefit show that's going on and mentioned the performers that were going to be there. Howard suggested that they have Leelee Sobieski do a poem. Fred played her old poem that she read years ago about the 9/11 disaster.
Robin read about Tiger Woods and how Nike is going to be launching some new golf clubs but not using Tiger in the ads at all. They didn't even mention Woods in the ads.
Robin said there are some weight loss companies suing each other. Weight Watchers is suing Jenny Craig over some statements they made.
Robin said the White House is saying that change is hard and that's why the President isn't getting good approval ratings right now and why things are moving so slowly.
Robin read the news about the Massachusetts election that took place and how a republican won the seat that Ted Kennedy held for 46 years. Howard did his Kennedy impression. He commented on the story as if he were Ted Kennedy speaking from the grave. Robin had some audio of Scott Brown talking about his win. Howard kept doing the Kennedy impression for a few minutes while they listened to that and while Robin read some more details of the election.
Robin read about Robert B. Parker, the author of the ''Spenser'' books, dying. Robin said that Eric Segal has also passed away. Robin said he was 72.
Robin wrapped up her news and they ended the show a short time later, right around 10:40am.
Jon moved on to talk about Gary and Yucko's fight. He said it got ugly in a hurry. Gary said it really did. He said that they had a caller they never go to last week and the guy said that he should have a thicker skin. Gary said he really should but Yucko takes some personal shots at him and it's accumulated with him over time.
Gary said Yucko has brought up things with him on the and off the air. Gary said he has let some of it go but he doesn't forget about it. Gary said Yucko joked about his mother being put in a nursing home and about his dead brother. Gary said Yucko also brought a conversation he had off the air to the air. Gary said he didn't have to do that and it was hurtful to the guy he mentioned (Bobby Slayton). Gary said he doesn't want to be in confrontation with people but Yucko really pissed him off.
Gary said that people can tweak him pretty easy and he may not have as thick of skin as he should. Gary said he doesn't think Yucko has it in for him. He said that he hasn't performed on the show the way he should and he goes to bat for him but then he gets this shit. He said that makes him mad.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from the show where Gary told Yucko to go head and just try to get booked for the show. He told Yucko he sucks on the show lately and that he's a depressing clown instead of a funny clown.
After that clip Gary said he's not sorry for what he said today. He said he just wants Yucko to do something funny. Jon said he thinks that Yucko was trying to respond to the stuff he was saying about his career and not even about his wife. Gary said he thought the most brutal thing was when he said that Don Rickles doesn't tell someone to come back next week to joke about them. He has to be funny right now.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Scott DePace was wrong about the Jets win but he doesn't understand why Gary is backing them so much. Gary said he isn't one of those crazy fans who always crows about the Jets. He said he was just arguing with Scott because of what Scott was saying about them not really winning the way he was saying they did.
Another caller said Gary has armor up and it's more than thick skin. He said that he was brutal today. Gary said it can be something really tiny that gets under your skin and that might be what happened today. Gary said he hopes he hasn't ruined Yucko's career with that. The caller said ''What career?''
Another caller said it seems like Gary is a bit on edge lately. He asked if everything is okay. Gary said it's all fine but he's just had a couple of fights the past couple of days. Gary said he and Scott fuck with each other all day long but then he got pissed after running out of funny quips with him.
The caller said he enjoyed the last Yucko appearance and thought he was good. Fred was in the studio and said that was a good appearance. The caller asked Fred who he thinks is the best guitar player of all time. Fred said there is no answer for that. The caller said there is an answer and he gave him one. Fred said he'd have to go with Jimi Hendrix if he had to choose just one.
Another caller asked if he was interrupting Gary's solitaire game. Gary said he wasn't playing. Fred backed him up on that. Gary said that if someone on the show wants to throw him under the bus he'd like them to take it up with him in person and not behind his back. He said Richie Wilson was the one who told Yucko about the solitaire thing. He said he'd prefer Richie just bring it up himself instead of filtering it through Yucko.
The caller said he agrees with Gary about Yucko not being funny. He said he didn't have anything funny to say. Fred talked about how there are many comedians who get assaulted on the show and they cave in like a cheap card table.
Gary said it blows his mind when comedians come on the show and just run out of stuff to say. He said that they had Bobcat Goldthwait on the show and he ended up dropping the phony voice and went off on the guy who was bashing his show.
Richie Wilson came in and said that he has a close relationship with Yucko and it's not a hidden thing around the office about the solitaire playing. He said Yucko has even seen it in person. Richie said it was kind of a dicky move for Yucko to bring his name into it today. He said he has to work with Gary so he told Yucko that. He said Yucko came back at him for talking about his crying voice mail after his wife left him. Richie said he told Yucko that he never played that call on the air.
Gary said he's not sure why Yucko got to him today but he did. He said that he must have stocked up on gossip instead of jokes today. Gary said if Yucko is right for something he'll have him back on. He said he's not going to keep him off the show just for what he did today. Gary said Yucko sent him a text with a joke in it but from now on he's not going to stick up for the guy in their creative meetings.
Ralph called in and said that Yucko is really depressing and he needs to just get on and not joke around. He said he used to leave the make up on but now he takes it off as quick as he can. He sits there with that sad face and it's really sad to see him. He said it takes everything out of it.
They talked about some other guys who have broken down over the years like Dice Clay. He went on a show and apologized to Arsenio for something he said and he still hasn't lived that one down.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary came off a little rough with Yucko today. He said it was like a lucky rich man beating on an unlucky poor man. Gary said he's not sure how money came into that. Benjy reminded him that he did ask Yucko how much he made last year. Gary said Yucko took shots at his mother and brother and he had to fight back.
Gary said it also depends on where the jokes come from. He said Sal has goofed on him about his father and his brother but the jokes were fine with him. Fred said he gets that and you just get irritated by lame jokes. Gary said if the joke is bad then it comes across as being vicious. If it's a good joke then it's okay.
The guys were talking about how Fred does his research to figure out who is Jewish and not Jewish. Fred said that they were running out of people to use in the game years ago because they were doing it so often. He said it's good that there's new blood out there that they can use.
Jon asked Fred if people praise him for his performance or for what he's talking about. Fred said there are some people who get it and some who don't.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if anyone is nervous hearing Robin on Joy's show and talking about how she might be doing her own thing. Jon asked the guys if they even knew she was going to be on Joy's show. Fred said he goes by her show once in a while but he doesn't think she's that great of an interviewer. He said he didn't know Robin was going to be on.
Benjy asked if the guys think Howard gets like he doesn't want Robin to step out or does he want her to develop her own show. Jon said that's what he was going to ask and asked if he's genuinely happy for her wanting to go out and do her own thing. Gary said Howard might treat her differently than other people. He said he thinks that Howard wishes her well if she does do her own thing.
The guys spent a short time talking about Robin being on the show and also played a clip from the show when Howard was playing the audio from the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he would ever consider being Robin's producer if she started her own show. Gary said ''sure!'' because he knows what she's like and he's already familiar with her. He said they get along pretty well so he'd make a wonderful producer for her. The caller suggested they do a segment on STDs and talk to Benjy about his. Benjy said he doesn't have any. The caller said that's not what his girlfriend told him online.
Jon took another call from a guy who said Robin mentioned something about a radio show and he was wondering if she was going to promote something. Gary said he heard that she's working on something there but he knows nothing about it. Benjy said he thinks she said it on the air and she may have mentioned that it was going to be on another channel.
Another caller asked how Howard is half Jewish if he has two grandfathers that are Jewish. Fred said he'd have to ask Howard about that. No one had an answer for the caller. The guy wanted to know why Howard always says he's half Jewish. Gary said he thinks that his father isn't Jewish. The caller didn't understand all of that and wondered why his grandfather Stern would critique his Bar Mitzvah tapes. Jon said that he's going to have to get through to Howard to ask him about that.
A caller asked the guys why they're not talking about Bubba getting sucker punched by a wrestler the other day. Gary said they can't tell what's real and what's not real so they're not sure what to say about those stories.
Another caller told Gary not to feel bad for lashing out at Yucko. He said Yucko is a douche and he shouldn't feel bad about it at all. Gary said he feels bad about it except where he let Yucko take a shot at him and he didn't have any material.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Robin didn't say anything about Jay Leno stealing bits from the show. She mentioned Jay stealing John from the show but shouldn't she have said something about that? Gary said she wasn't there to talk about that so they just moved on to talk about other stuff. Benjy joked that he saw Howard slapping around Robin after the show today over that.
Gary said he was thinking about all of this and it seems that NBC was juggling everyone around and they're the bad guys in the whole thing. Benjy asked what Leno should have done when NBC moved him. Gary said he should have gone to another network to do his own show. Benjy was trying to get something out of Gary about what he thinks Leno should be doing now. Gary wasn't sure how to answer him.
Benjy said he doesn't like Leno that much but he'd like to know who he's wronging and what he should have done in this situation.
Fred went off on Leno and said that he's trying to establish trust on a lie right now. Gary said he was friendly with his manager Helen Kushnick years ago. He said that she was portrayed as a nut back then but he thinks that Jay had her doing exactly what he wanted her to and he knew about it all. He was just pretending he didn't know to protect himself.
Fred said if someone came to Howard and told him that they wanted to replace him, he wouldn't stick around at the company. Leno should have left when they asked him to step down from the Tonight Show. He said he never had any intent in playing ball. They went over that for a couple more minutes before they had to take a break.
Jon brought up how harsh Howard was with Stuttering John today. Gary said John worked really hard to mend that relationship he had with Howard after he went to the Leno show. He said John threw it all away to argue with a guy on Facebook and he does not understand why. He said they're done now and Howard will never forgive John for that. He said he thinks that Howard is fuckin' mad now.
Fred said he doesn't think that Howard would want John to get fired. Gary said he must have had his headphones on during the commercials then. Fred said he thinks that Howard hates to see people get fired from things even if he doesn't like them. Gary said Howard feels very betrayed though. Gary said that John said some stuff that really got to Howard when he talked about how he was drinking the Kool-Aid when he worked there. Fred said people who leave the show seem to flip and turn on the show when they leave. Fred wasn't sure why he'd throw it all away for those comments either. Jon wondered if John would ever get the announcer job again. The guys weren't sure if that would ever happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary annihilated Yucko today but he should have done that to Sal years ago. He said Sal doesn't like Gary and he doesn't respect him. He said he has to turn his radio off when he hears his voice. Gary said he used to feel that way about Sal years ago but he's really a great guy. Gary said he's got his flaws but he is a great guy. Gary said he embraced Sal when he started working there.
The caller said he knows that Howard only hired Sal because he felt sorry for him. Gary said that wasn't the case at all. He had talent and they saw that during the Win John's Job contest. The caller thinks that it was a mistake hiring Sal. No one in the studio agreed with him though.
Benjy said when someone is really harsh on you and then they're nice to you then you change. Jon wasn't following him on that. Benjy said you value someone's friendship more when they're mean to you and then they come around. Gary said Sal has been there for 6 years and he's liked Sal all this time. Jon said he likes Sal on the show and thinks he's great.
Jon asked Fred about Scott DePace talking about how it's not that manly to change your mind all the time. Fred said he didn't know it was girlish to do that. He said if that's the case then he must be girlish. He said he can change his mind if the facts are shown to him and he's proven wrong. Gary said Scott is one of the only people in the room who won't change his opinions on anything.
Benjy asked Eric if he heard the show today. Eric said he didn't so Benjy told him that James Franco was Jewish. He was referring to the Guess Who's the Jew segment.
Jon and Gary asked Eric some questions about what he thinks about the Jets and the Colts. They went over all of that for a few minutes. Jon let him go and gave him a plug for NFLAuction.NFL.com
The guys spent the last couple of minutes of the show talking about Eric and what he's done in the NFL. They also talked to Fred about not being able to see in 3D. Fred said he figured out he had this Amblyopia thing when he was in 9th grade. He said it's like seeing in mono and they could have fixed it if they had caught it earlier. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show taking a call from Wolfie who asked if Robin had gone through menopause. Howard said she has. He said he had checked and she's well through it. Howard said he checks her once a month. Robin laughed. Wolfie said he was just thinking about it. Howard said Robin had the hot flashes and talked about all of that in the past.
Robin said she didn't have any mood swings, she just had the hot flashes. Howard said he's been rubbing estrogen cream on her breasts for the past couple of years. He didn't want her to lose elasticity. Wolfie asked if she's had any dryness problems. Robin said she didn't but Howard thought she had. She said that was a bad relationship she was in. Howard said she must have been like sandpaper down there. Robin said she didn't think about it. She said that Jim Florentine didn't have a problem with that with her.
Howard asked how she worked through the dryness. Robin said they used lube. She said she was prepared for the other things that come with menopause but she never had the problems.
Howard asked Robin about using KY on herself and if she warms it up. Robin said they have self warming stuff now. Howard said he'll know it's over with Beth when she starts using the self warming KY.
Wolfie asked Robin about the guys on the show losing weight and asked who has the best ass. He told her to think about Gary and Benjy. Howard said he didn't care because they're all guys. Howard said the audience is mostly guys. Wolfie said he thinks it would be funny to hear what Robin has to say. Howard said he really doesn't care about that. Robin said maybe that Joe Rogan bit was the inspiration for this.
Howard let Wolfie go and said that Robin has gone through menopause. Robin asked him to say that a little louder... so he did.
Howard said he's learned his lesson and he won't do anything that might upset his kids. He said he behaves around them. He said this guy got up and said his kids were available. He said one of the girls had her boyfriend with her on stage so that made it even worse. Howard said the other one was a finalist in American Idol but he didn't remember her. Howard said that one is single. Howard said she claims that her dad tried setting her up on a date with a waiter at a restaurant they were eating at.
Howard said he didn't have much of a social life in high school. He said he wasn't even a geek. He wasn't in any group there. He said he would play cards with the geeks but he wasn't very close with them. Howard said he had some friends who were geeks but no one was very close. He said he had jocks over to smoke pot in his garage but that was about it. Howard said he was lower than a geek. He was just ''nothing.'' He said he didn't grow up in the community and he was traumatized from his other school. Robin asked if he was like JD. He said he wasn't like JD because he had the ability to speak, he just chose not to use it. Howard said it shook him up when he moved from Roosevelt to the new school.
Howard said he was awkward and it wasn't a pleasant time. Howard went on to talk about how he got involved in a group of people who went to this Danny's Haven pizza place. He said they'd smoke and hang out and eat pizza. One time his parents showed up to this place while he was there with this friends. He said that was the end of that. He said he wouldn't go again. Howard said his parents sat at another table but it was still embarrassing.
Howard said he asked his parents not to go there anymore but his mom said they were going to continue going because they like it there. He said they didn't understand that he was a turd and it was tough for him to go out and be embarrassed.
Howard said there was no being sensitive with him. He said his parents just made him suffer. Howard said he wasn't allowed to have any problems because of what his mother had gone through as a child. Howard said she would tell him about how bad she had it growing up. Howard said he was a fucking pussy and she was the toughest so she won. Howard said he'd like to have sent her to school to get punched in the face like he did. Howard said she'd just say that she didn't see any bruises on his face.
Howard said he would get into fights but he would keep them quiet. That was until someone threw a metal garbage can at him. He said he had to tell her about that. Howard said she called the dean of boys after he got choked by one of the students too. He said it's not good when she calls about something like that. He said the Dean told the kid about the call and that got him beaten up again.
Howard said he told the kid that he didn't tell anyone. He said he was speaking black at the time trying to fit in. He did an impression of what that sounded like and Robin said she would have loved to have known Howard at that time.
Howard said that kid beat him up and beat up another kid who he thought may have turned him in. Howard said Carlos was the only kid named Carlos that couldn't fight. Howard said it was kind of like prison because of that guy Irvin. He said he shook them down for money.
Robin said it was so degrading to be in that school. He said he went to this new neighborhood and it was even worse. He said they were anti-Semitic there. Howard said he had a psychology class and a white female teacher who wasn't bad looking. He said she was a fuckin' bitch though. He said she would ask him what he thought and he'd keep his mouth shut. Howard said that's how bad things were. Howard Stern wouldn't talk.
Howard said this teacher would ask him to talk and he wasn't used to the white kids so he was afraid to talk. Everyone had an opinion unlike the other school. He said he didn't like having so many white people around. He said he wasn't able to relate and didn't get it. Howard said they were horrible white people too.
Howard said his mother used to car pool with the kids and the shitheads wouldn't even say hello to her. He said they were all shits. Robin said this is why Howard likes all of those teenage movies. She said he loves it when an outcast is taken into the in crowd. Howard said that's right, he likes all of that.
Howard said his dad would come home at night and he was jealous of his life. Howard said his life must have been really shitty. He said he was kind of verbose at home and he would talk a lot. He said his dad didn't want to hear it. His mom would guilt trip him about the move to the new neighborhood. They did it all for him to get him out of that other school.
Howard did impressions of his father and mother during this discussion. Howard said his father had this company called Ping Pong with a friend of his. He said that they had one artist and claimed that they had Billy Joel signed but they let him go. Howard said Billy was lucky to get away.
Howard said it was kind of cool his father had this record company. He said he'd bring up the Ping Pong thing and his father would freak out. He said he liked the name of the company but his father hated it when he'd bring it up. He said he couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. He counted the days.
Howard said his whole life has been ''get me out'' and it's either shitty radio stations or home or school. Howard said that one teacher that called on him every day really bothered him. He said she made it her cause to get him to talk. He said all of the other kids would talk and rattle on about stuff and he just wanted to stand up and say ''fuck you.'' He hated all of the kids.
Howard said the teacher called him in after school and she wasn't half bad looking at the time. He said if she had called him in to blow him he would have been fine. Howard said he hated everything back then and he was probably depressed. Robin said that's what it sounds like to her. Howard said his mother would have gotten pissed if he was depressed. Howard said his mother was so depressed that his father told her to drink.
Howard said his teacher told him she was flunking him and he was told he had to get an A on his paper or he'd flunk out. Howard said he did what he had to just to make sure he got that A.
Robin asked if he ever looked at his family and said ''I think they're all crazy.'' Howard said he's the one that's nuts. He's never thought of them being nuts.
A caller asked Howard about the kid who lived near him who was a football player. He said he thought he had met him years later. Howard said he did do that. He said that kid wouldn't say anything to him as a kid and then he met him at this block party one time years later. He said the guy told him he had to hang out with him. He was acting like his best buddy. Howard said he heard the guy died a few years ago so that was kind of sad. He said he wasn't nice to him in high school though so he's not going to grace him with Howard Stern from radio. Howard said the guy wasn't nice to him so he wasn't going to be nice to him. Robin said you never know how people are going to turn out so be nice to them now.
Howard said the cat is doing okay because she's eating and not pulling her hair out. He said they'll be fine eventually. Howard said Gary's cats sleep with the dog. Howard said he'd like to know how he made that happen. Robin said Gary had kittens so they seem to get along better when they grow up knowing a dog.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said that he's been out of jail for a year now but he can't talk about any of that stuff right now. Janks said that he's working everything out and he'll be able to talk about it when it's over. Janks said that it's headed in the right direction and things are looking okay. Howard said he likes that he's still Captain after all of that. He kept his rank.
Howard said he didn't know that Janks was going to be the wackiest of the Wack Pack. Janks said he thinks that Big Foot is the craziest. Howard said it's definitely Janks.
captain Janks said that this is his 20th anniversary of calling into the show. He said his first call was actually in 1989. Howard thought about some of the great calls Janks has made over the years and tried to figure out which one was the best. Howard and Robin said it might be the one where Dennis James went off on Janks for being the devil and things like that.
The guys talked about that Dennis James guy for a short time. Janks said he was out on Long Island recently and took a drive through Roosevelt. He said he though it looked kind of nice for what it's supposed to be. Howard said that's true. He said he went there a few years ago and it did look nice. He said it looks nice but living there is a whole other story. Janks said he didn't even get out of his car while he was there. Howard said that's probably best.
Howard said as a tribute to Janks he was going to play the call they were just talking about. It was when Janks called this telethon where Florence Henderson and Dennis James were hosting. Janks called in as Kathie Lee Gifford who was pledging $500,000. Janks was doing his female voice and they didn't catch on to it until Janks said that he wanted to make hot monkey love to Howard Stern. The hosts went off on Janks for a couple of minutes after they hung up on him.
After playing that call Howard said he didn't know how annoying Florence Henderson was. She wouldn't let this guy Dennis flip out on Janks. She was trying to make it all nice. They also mentioned that they had a $25,000 pledge because of that call but Howard didn't believe it. Howard said that was pretty funny when Dennis was going nuts about Janks.
Howard said they're the only ones who even remember Dennis James because of that call. He said he had a game show but he wasn't sure what it was called. Howard asked Fred if he knew. Fred tried to find it. He said he hosted The Price is Right and Name that Tune for short stints. Fred ran through some other game shows and they were all shitty ones according to Howard. Fred said he never established himself as a regular host.
Howard said he read that James Cameron said that they have another 45 minutes of material to use in the DVD release. He said they have a love making scene that was cut. He said they're going to add in that material in the DVD release. He said that will put people in geek heaven. He said it's kind of weird to be attracted to a cartoon.
Howard said the chick who played that character Neytiri is a black chick, Zoe Saldana, and she's hot. She was the same chick who played Uhura in the new Star Trek movie. Howard asked who wouldn't want to connect their tail with her. Howard said he's surprised that James Cameron didn't connect his tail to her. He deserves to get laid a lot with all of the movies he's made.
Howard and the caller were talking about his work out. Howard said he runs a lot and he has to take a week off because he's just worn out. The caller told him to pay attention to the pain. Howard said he has no choice. He said he can't run through the pain like some people can. Beth was able to run through it with a broken foot.
Howard said he wasn't going to play it all but he basically said that Tiger was a disaster in the making just like Andre Agassi. Howard said the paparazzi finally got a shot of Tiger at sex rehab. He said they found him and they're photographing him now. They showed him wearing a hood in this Mississippi rehab center.
Howard said Tiger is in sex rehab and he believes that there is something wrong. He said no one needs to have sex that much. Howard read the article he had where they talk about all of the stuff Tiger has to go through in this rehab. Howard said he has to tell his wife everything he did. Howard said he should just divorce at this point.
Howard read about the stuff Tiger will be going through with this rehab and how his wife and kids are going to be part of it. They're going to be staying in a rented house that he has for them out there. They have the place staffed with armed guards.
Howard read that Tiger isn't attending group sessions. He said that the other people have to leave the room when he enters. Howard read that they have to yell out a stop word if someone else starts talking about sex and you get turned on. Howard said it sounds like Tiger already doesn't like rehab.
Howard read about the types of rehab they do there and how the program works. Robin said it sounds like fun. Howard said they have to carry an urge card so they have a number to all when they feel they need to speak to someone. Howard said it sounds like Tiger is out of control in rehab and he's just trying to make it as comfortable as he can. Howard said he has a maid in rehab to take care of making his bed and all of that. He said the doctor should be making him do things the same way the other patients are doing it.
Howard read that Tiger did $100,000 of renovations of this place he's staying in before he went there. He's not staying in the cabin that the other patients are in either. Howard said Tiger may think that other people are going to squeal it all out if he does go to group therapy. He said the Enquirer may be willing to pay people for details.
Howard read that this information was coming from some other golfer. Howard wondered what another golfer would know about all of this. Howard said it's a real fiasco. Robin said he made a big mess and that shows that he needs rehab.
Howard said he saw that A-Rod has a new blonde and she looks kind of like Kate Hudson but even better. Howard said he looks like he's having a blast in the picture he saw. Howard said this guy who won the senate seat in Massachusetts has some hot daughters. They have bikini shots of them in the paper.
Howard said the special Master Tape Theatre special will be on this Sunday at 3pm on Howard 101.
Howard said he's not sure if this whole thing is real or scripted. He said the woman could definitely take Bubba though. He said it all sounds funny to him so he thinks that it's just part of the wrestling story. Robin said she'd like to see the fight. Howard said they tape everything except that one fight. He said he knows Bubba is saying he's upset about the whole thing. He doesn't think Bubba was going to keep that job with TNA anyway. He thought it was a one time thing.
Howard said he thinks that it's a shtick thing and it's not real. He said maybe he was punched in the face but he really doesn't know. He had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and talked about a kid who was named so his initials spell out JETS. He said that the father of the kid is a huge Jets fan.
Howard said that he had some audio of Jay Leno and David Letterman firing off at each other in their monologues. He has to play those clips but he has to get Lisa G in there too. He said he has to get that new Star Trek movie on DVD to watch it again. Robin said that movie is great to watch over and over again.
Howard said he read that James Cameron keeps a memento from each movie he does. He said he read that he has the terminator skull and things from his other movies. the thing he wants from Avatar is the giant robot thing that the soldiers get into. Howard said he read he's going to put that on his front lawn to scare his neighbors.
Howard said in the old days he'd just keep the leading lady. He did that with Linda Hamilton from Terminator. Howard said he could put them on his front lawn.
Lisa G came in and said that they have a story about Richard Christy's new album and the video that will be up this morning. The video will be on NoiseCreep.com. She said that it's low budget and it was directed by one of the Howard TV guys, Mike Schiff.
Howard wondered how you sell an album these days because it's so tough. He said they don't play videos on TV anymore.
Lisa said that Jeff the Drunk is sick of his brother and sister who haven't been paying rent to him. He said that his brother is taking out the garbage and mowing the lawn but that's about it. Jeff wants to get them evicted. Howard said that's funny that Jeff doesn't like it when people are freeloading. Howard said he might have to talk to Jeff about all of this. He wants to know more.
Lisa said they found out about a new strain of medical marijuana known as Shuli Kush or essence of Shuli. It's a tribute to Shuli from Howard 100 News. Howard wondered about how this medical marijuana thing works because it's pretty awesome you can get this stuff. He said that the stuff must get to other states when it can be bought legally.
Howard said Conan did a great bit on his show. He said it's very visual but the audio was still good too. He started to play that clip where Conan did this bit where he said it looks like it's his last week there. Howard said it definitely is. Howard cut that off and said he read that NBC would have had to have paid Jay Leno like $145 million if they had fired him. It was cheaper to get rid of Conan.
Howard played the clip where Conan did this bit where he said they were doing really expensive bits on the show to get back at NBC. Conan said they had The Bugatti Veyron Mouse which was a car dressed up as a mouse. It's a million dollar vehicle dressed up as a mouse according to Howard. Conan said that they also had the Rolling Stones song ''Satisfaction'' playing at the time so they had to play royalties on that. Conan said it was crazy expensive to play the song and that's why they were playing it. Conan said that bit cost them $1.5 million.
Howard said he liked that bit. He said Jay shot back at Letterman about what he was saying about him the other night. Howard played a clip where Jay said that Letterman was hammering him so he shot back with a joke about how to get him to ignore you and that was by marrying him.
Howard said Leno finally broke down and had to say something. Robin said something finally got through his armor. Howard said they're finally doing good late night shows.
Howard said a newspaper got an interview with Ed Hall who was replaced by Stuttering John. In the interview Hall says that NBC has made a lot of mistakes including getting rid of him to replace him with John Melendez. Ed says he doesn't feel the allegiance to Jay he once did. Howard said Jay didn't need to get rid of Ed Hall to get Stuttering John in there.
Howard said they have the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant thing going on. He said that they have a $100,000 prize from AshleyMadison.com. He said that Gary is getting closer and closer to making the pageant happen.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Conan could do a show for Howard's channel. Howard said radio is in a different universe and Conan may not translate to it. He said that it's very different to do a radio show and talk to people one on one. He said the bottom line for satellite radio is to bring people who can bring subscribers. He said he's not sure Conan could do that. He wasn't able to do that on TV. Howard said that he's not sure if he would bring anyone there or not.
The caller asked Howard if he heard the Tracey Millman show. Howard said he heard about it but didn't hear the show. He said he heard it was good. He said the emailers liked the show so she may have a natural ability to do a show.
The caller also said that the movie Beowulf had great 3D effects in it. Howard said he never saw that movie. Robin said she didn't like the characters in the movie.
The caller also mentioned that Geektime is going to have an interview with James Cameron this Saturday. Jon Hein came in and said that they got an interview with him a few weeks ago and they'll be playing that on Geektime this Saturday at 2. Jon said Cameron was great. He said Cameron is a straight shooter and he gets off talking about how the 3D works and all of that. Jon said they have different types of 3D and they talk about that.
Howard asked if we're going to be able to watch the movie in 3D on TV. Jon said he thinks that they'll have glasses available when the DVD comes out. They talked about 3D TV and how that's going to work. Howard said he can't imagine watching 3D TV all the time. Gary said he's seen it and it's amazing. You have to have a special TV to watch it but it looks amazing.
Jon was talking about how great he thought the 3D was and how it's a theater experience and not something you want to see on TV. Howard said he thinks that Cameron hit a home run with the movie and even the story.
Gary said he heard Jason and Jon working on the interview with James Cameron. He said Ralph is part of the show but he wasn't available to be part of the interview. It was the one day that Ralph had to be at Howard's house so he wasn't able to come into the studio to do that interview.
Howard said Ralph emailed him and said he wanted to do the geek time interview and asked if he should do it. Howard said Ralph has to be at his place for an hour and he wasn't available any other time. Howard said he told Ralph that was when he was free and he'll cancel Geektime if it's going to interfere. He said that he's paying Ralph to do the clothing deal and he needs him at a certain time. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck about that interview.
Gary said they called Ralph and because of that he didn't want the interview done. Gary said Jon and Jason couldn't believe they were going to have to pass on the interview. Gary said that it's basically Ralph's show because he created it. Jon said he was out of the loop, it was actually Jason and Ralph going back and forth.
Howard said Ralph not wanting them to do the interview is just jealousy. Jason said Ralph is very possessive of Geektime. Howard said that's just weird.
Jason said that Ralph relented on that interview but he didn't let them do a Peter Jackson interview. He told them that he didn't want them interviewing Peter Jackson. Jason said that's why they do Geektime though so they can get interviews with people like that. Jason said he thinks that Ralph is jealous of them over that.
Jason told Howard that he went on twitter and told people they met James Cameron and they were going to have the interview for Geektime. That upset Ralph. He said Ralph wanted to be up there and now he was feeling bad after seeing the Twitter stuff about his show.
Howard said to see a true man you give him a little power. Gary said he's like mall security. Jason said ''you have no idea...'' Howard said that's crazy. Jason said Ralph said to him that it wasn't fair that they were at work together all day. Jason said he told Ralph that he's sure Tim Sabean could find something for him to do if he wants to work there. Howard said that would justify what they pay him.
Jason said he loves Geektime, it's an awesome show, and he puts a ton of work into it. He said they do a 2 hour show once a month and Ralph wants him to think about it 24/7. Jason said they go through a lot of things over and over again and he dreads having to call Ralph some days.
Howard said Ralph came over one day during the summer and he anted to show him his web site for Geektime. Howard said he told Beth about the site and what he was doing with it. Howard said Beth wasn't able to wrap her head around it. He said Ralph came in and the site wasn't accessible. He said it was just like a link to some Japanese Anime and things like that. He said he had to bite his lip not to laugh at it.
Howard said Ralph was thinking that this site might work into something like Jon Hein had. He said it's actually just a huge waste of time and Ralph has no idea that it is.
Jason said Ralph wants it to be a magazine online for geeks. Howard said that's what Maxim magazine is. Jason said in their last meeting from Geektime Ralph had a bunch of pages from Entertainment Weekly magazines showing them what he wanted Geektime to be. He said Ralph is really into it.
Jason said he's afraid to go back to his desk because he's going to get a call from Ralph and he's not looking forward to that. He said he likes Ralph and he likes the idea of Geektime but it's tough to work with Ralph. Gary said it sounds like Ralph rules that show with an iron fist and it's tough to work with him.
Howard wondered why Ralph had to cut up the Entertainment Weekly magazine to show what he wanted. They talked about how he was just picking out and showing what they wanted.
Richard Christy came in and said that he worked with Ralph on the Friday Show and Ralph asked them not to play ''Working For the Weekend'' one day and Ralph asked him not to do that anymore. He asked him to play some Green Day instead. He played like 5 seconds of it and then went into Working for the Weekend and Ralph got all pissed off at him and slammed down his headphones.
Howard heard that Jon Hein is the only one who gets along with Ralph. Jon said he likes the show and he's doing it to be part of some cool interviews. He said he doesn't want to go through what Jason has to go through. Jason said he signed on for Geektime but it's really the Ralph Show. He said it's all about what Ralph is into and he's the head Geek.
Robin said that Ralph did the first show and it wasn't his vision so he was all bummed out. Howard asked if he got his web site up and running. They said he did and that site is MyGeekTime.com.
Howard said Ralph started calling him about this Friday show and the problems they were having and he told him to just end it. He said he doesn't want calls about the shows they're doing there. He said it's a nightmare and he doesn't want to jam with him. He said he had to end the Friday Show because of that. That's why the Friday Show ended actually.
Gary said that the facts were coming in left and right about Ralph. He said on the first Geektime show he had everyone leave the studio for 15 minutes so he could get his head straight. Howard found that funny. Jason said that Ralph comes in early now and has his quiet time before they go in the studio. Jason said they have to put up with a lot of stuff with Ralph.
Scott DePace came in and said that working with Ralph is tough. He said that they have to call Ralph sometimes and he just adds hours and hours to projects. He said in the past he would leave for hours and come back instead of working through it with them.
Jason said that Ralph has to fix some stuff to be able to work with people. He said Ralph will tell him what he did wrong and that's how he opens up the phone call. He said he has to listen to all of his fuck ups before they talk about the show.
Howard said if Ralph became successful with that show he'd become a real tyrant. DePace said that Ralph designed that one room at Scores years ago and he's not sure if he ever finished it.
Howard asked Jason if he has accepted the whole Ralph thing. Jason said he did because he wanted to work on the Geektime show. He said he had to back off of responding to everything Ralph had to tell him. He said he has ignored some of his calls and texts. He said he had to take a step back. Jason said the phone calls were very long and involved. He said he'd probably be on the phone for an hour and a half every time.
Howard asked Jason if he's afraid he'll get fired over this. Jason said he probably will and this may be the last Geektime show for him.
Howard asked Jason about the James Cameron interview. Jason said Ralph wanted people to think it was a live interview and keep it under wraps that it was pre-recorded. Jason said Ralph thought there was ''too much Jon'' in the interview. Jason said they could have over dubbed Jon with Ralph's voice but Ralph didn't want to do that.
Jason said he wasn't going to have the James Cameron interview as a live one. He said they were going to cut it up and discuss bits and pieces of it.
Howard said Ralph gets very physical and he was saying insulting things to the guests. He said he didn't want to say them on the air because they involve other people.
Richard guessed that he may have insulted Rob Zombie's movies. Howard said he did say some insulting things. Howard said he didn't want to pay attention to that stuff though. He said Ralph was belligerent. He said Rob is a great guy and things roll off his back but he was getting into some stuff that just wasn't right.
Howard said if Ralph calls in and discusses it he'll talk about it. He said he's uncomfortable saying some of the things he said. He said if he calls in then he'll talk about it so he can rebut what he's saying.
Howard said he would talk about the specifics if he does call in. Robin said she thinks that Ralph is up now listening to this and he's upset about the Geektime stuff. Howard said he'll only do this if Ralph is on the phone. He said he hasn't talked to him off the air about it. He said Ralph is his friend but he can't really have him with his friends. He has to think about inviting him to anything like that again.
Howard said this was the last straw and Ralph ruined it. He said that he's not going to come to his house again. Robin said he's said that before but he let him come back. Howard said he gave Ralph another chance but this was really the last one.
The caller asked if he could get a tour of the studio since Gary has time for Solitaire. Howard said he would give him that tour. He put him on hold so he could set that up. Howard said this might be the last year that they're there.
Howard said Tim got him this self winder device and he has to put batteries in that. It rotates the watch so it will keep running. Howard said he only uses it overnight. He said you stick the watch in a box and the box is a couple hundred bucks. Howard said he has never worn a good watch in his life. He said he had a U.S. Army watch that was great. It ran like clockwork. He said this Cartier watch is the biggest piece of shit. He said it looks great and Artie liked it so much he ran out and got one too.
Howard thought a watch winder was someone who would wind the watch for him. He said he brought the watch back thinking it didn't work but they told him he had to wind it. Howard said he wondered why the watch didn't have a battery back up. He said he got bamboozled. He said he probably would have bought the watch no matter what though because it looked so cool.
Howard said he almost threw out this watch winder thing that Tim gave him. He said that he had gotten some in the past from a couple of people and never used them. He had no idea what to do with them. Howard said he thought the gift was shit but it turns out it was a good gift. Howard said it turns out he likes the stuff he gets if he thinks about it for a while.
Howard said Dan the Song Parody Man gave him a huge knife one year. He said he still uses that knife to open stuff all the time. He said he got another knife from him that was a switch blade and he almost cut open his hand using it. Howard said he's kind of afraid of that one.
Howard said Artie got him a Neil Young painting one year and he thought it was a shitty gift. He said he put it in his storage bin but now it's hanging in his apartment in his main closet. He said he loves it now and he sees it every morning. Howard said he's like a kid that way.
Howard said he used to get wine as gifts and hated that. He said now that he drinks wine he loves it. Howard said he must be an alcoholic.
Gary came in so Howard said that Gary gave him a shitty gift too. Howard said he gave him the shittiest gift ever. It was a personal grooming kit. Gary said Howard beat him up over that so long that Chris Rock came in like a month later and commented on it. Howard said it had a nasal hair clipper and a comb with scissors and things like that. He said he thought it was really shitty but then he ended up using it. He said he threw it in a drawer for years and then he needed the nose hair clipper so he started using it. Howard said it turned out to be just what he wanted. He said he uses the kit every day now.
Howard said Beth was complaining about his nails being sharp so he had to cut and file them. He said that it was interfering with their love making. He said he hired a manicurist to do his nails but then started doing them himself. He said he had to have the woman come to his apartment instead of going to a salon. He said a picture of him doing that would be the end of him.
Howard said he hired a Korean woman to do the nail thing. He said the woman put his feet in water while she did his nails. He said he started talking to her non-stop to keep her entertained. Howard said he figured he could have done it on his own but Beth told him he was hurting her. Howard said this woman asked him if he wanted his cuticles cut or pushed back and he had to tell her what to do. He said he told her that he grew up with nothing to make her feel better. Howard said it cost him a lot to do that.
Howard said when this woman was done his nails felt great. He said that it's no wonder women do that stuff to their nails. He said he was thrilled after that. He said she came back the week after and he had her signing confidentiality agreements and stuff. He said that story was never going to get out.
Howard said the third week rolls around and he was almost going to put on a dress to get it done. He said the woman announced she needed a raise. Howard said he had agreed on a price 2 weeks before. She said she had to put ''gas in cah.'' Howard said he figured she had seen what he had going on in his life and wanted to take advantage of that. She thought he was a rock star or something.
Howard said he told Beth he was steaming after that. He said it was like $200 to get his nails done and she wanted 50 bucks more. He told Beth that he was humiliated that he was doing it at all. He killed the whole thing after that. He said he told the woman that changing the price 2 weeks into it was just wrong. She didn't care and didn't budge. Howard said he figured she'd call right back but she never did. He said she really didn't need it.
Howard said he told Beth she had to do his nails. She started doing them for him but she was disgusted by his nails. Howard said Beth was so disgusted he just went back to doing them himself. Howard said that's where Gary's kit came in. He said he started using that instead.
Howard said he can't do his own toe nails because they're too far away and he can't see what he's doing. He said he needs Beth to help him out with that.
Howard said that was his nail story and he always comes clean with Robin eventually. He knows that it's going to come back and bite him in the ass eventually. He said Robin will use it against him in some way at some point.
Hanzi said that Bubba actually said ''fuck Haiti'' on his twitter page. Howard said he thought that Bubba was saying that he thinks that we pay taxes so we shouldn't be giving to additional charity funds to send money to Haiti. Howard said that he gets the point of view. He said he didn't think it was that bad but he didn't know about the ''fuck Haiti'' thing.
Gary told Howard he got a call from Brent who said that Bubba wants to call in to talk about the punch in the head because he swears it's real. Hanzi said he's a wrestling fan and he thought Bubba did a great job on the TNA thing but he was fired after the Haiti thing. He said he doesn't think Bubba is a racist or anything. He said he thinks he was just caught up in the whole money thing when he said ''fuck Haiti.''
Howard let Hanzi go and said he'll get to the bottom of all of this. He had Bubba on the phone a short time later. Howard told Bubba what he knew and said that he thought the punch in the face was part of the story line. Bubba said there is no video of it so it wasn't part of a story line.
Howard found out he was live on the air with Bubba so he had to be careful not to curse. Howard talked to Bubba about this Awesome Kong chick that punched him. Bubba said that Bubba has been into a couple of things lately that are hysterical. He said the wrestling event is funny. Bubba said that them being disenfranchise with him isn't part of the script. Robin said that he means disenchanted.
Howard said Bubba knows the wrestling jargon so he got into the whole thing. He asked Bubba if they paid him. Bubba said they did pay him and Hogan had asked him to come help out. He said they're in a shambles and they're trying to work things out.
Howard asked if it was true that he gave away hundreds of tickets hat were fake. Bubba said that was not true. He said that the company came to him about a month out and asked him to give out tickets to his fans so they wouldn't have the same 40 people showing up to their event. Bubba said he could pack the place with 1800 fans if they wanted. He said they asked him to help, they gave him tickets to give out and they set the thing up so the people could come and pick them up. They gave out 2,200 tickets figuring that they'd have 1,800 show up.
Bubba said that he had a gift on the way to Howard today too. Howard said that wasn't necessary. He got back to the ticket thing and Bubba said it was like 24 degrees down there in Florida on this day. He said that they had like 1800 people standing there outside the doors and the Universal Studios people told them that the passes were unauthorized. Bubba said that he went to tell the guys from TNA about that and warned them that they were going to hate him and want to kill him.
Howard said Bubba went out to the parking lot and people started spitting on him. Bubba said it was worse than that. He said the people didn't event into the building so they went to the Hard Rock and rented out the theater and let the fans watch it on TV over there. He said they sent wrestlers over there to calm people down. He said the wrestlers weren't saying that things were okay. They were saying that they didn't get in because of Bubba not delivering. Howard said it's good he's not going to be part of the TNA then.
Bubba said he went to this event and a kid asked for an autograph and this kid rips up the picture, spits on it and shoves it in his face. Bubba said he had gone on his Twitter and said ''F-Haiti'' because he was Haiti'd out. Bubba said he's sorry for the loss of humanity over there but he's tired of hearing about it when we have so many problems ''here abroad.''
Bubba said that this Awesome Kong chick came over to him and sucker punched him in the head while he was taping something. He said he thought it might be something they were taping for TNA that he didn't know about. He said that he wasn't sure what was going on. Bubba said Kong is a black woman and he thinks that someone showed her his Twitter. He said that she punched him in the mouth and she said ''this is for Haiti'' when she did it. He said she hit him again and said ''Haiti'' like it was Braveheart or something. Bubba said he realized that she was mad at him for something after that.
Bubba said he grabbed the chick by the neck and he was ready to punch her. He said he realized that if he did that he might end his career. Howard read that she weighs 275 pounds. He wondered who wipes her. Bubba didn't even hear that joke. Bubba went on to say that he told people he wasn't going to hit her back but he had to hold her to keep her from hitting him again.
Bubba said they sent Kong home that day and they really don't want to get rid of him either. Howard asked Bubba if they did a DNA test on her to make sure she's actually a woman. He asked Bubba if he's going to tweet anymore topless pictures of his wife. Bubba said he'll send them to him privately if he wants. Howard said he would like that.
Howard said he wants some of those nude pictures but Bubba wanted to respect Beth and make sure it was okay with her. Bubba said that he wouldn't be where he is now without Howard so giving him some pictures of his wife nude isn't so tough.
Howard asked Bubba how his marriage is going. He said they just celebrated 3 years being married and he's having sex with her like once or twice a week.
Howard told Bubba that things are going good with them other than the Artie situation. Howard asked Bubba if his son is getting anything yet. Bubba said he's at the age when he doesn't care about girls. Howard said if he had a son he wouldn't let the kid go through that stage.
Bubba said that this punch is a real thing and you know that because it's not on tape. He said they may have surveillance video though so he's trying to get a hold of that.
Robin asked if Kong's job is in jeopardy. Bubba said it is but he doesn't want her to lose her job over this. Howard said he would. He said that if she punched him like that it's just not right. Bubba said he hates this woman deep down inside but he's not going to say that on the air. He said he's learned from Howard on that with the way he treats other guys like Opie and Anthony and people like that. Howard said he doesn't want anyone in radio to lose their job. He said he's been asked if he wants guys fired like that and he says no and he means it.
Howard asked Bubba for his opinion on Leno and Conan. Bubba said they should get rid of both of them and replace them with someone else. Howard said it was weird doing regular radio this morning and not cursing. Bubba told Howard he could do it and make tons of money doing it. Howard said he's kind of had offers to go back. He said it's not really an ''offer'' though.
Howard said he didn't think Bubba would be able to go back but he's done a great job. He said his show hasn't sounded better. Bubba said he'd just have to take like 10 words out of his vocabulary. Howard said they edit content out too though. Bubba said that's true but he's just glad to have a job.
Howard talked to Spice Boy about his girlfriend and how hot she is. Howard said she's like a 10. Howard asked Bubba if he would allow him to sleep with Heather if he asked. Bubba said he would do that if he could promise him a job for life and give him a little more money. Bubba said he's getting screwed on the money right now so he'd have to fix that.
Howard asked if Heather is as crazy in bed as much as he thinks she is. Bubba said that she's so into sex that she will keep going and going all by herself when he's done. He said that she just likes to party like 12 times to his one. Bubba said his wife is a whore in bed. He said that he may have said too much about this at this point. Bubba said that he forgot he was on terrestrial radio and everyone was hearing this locally.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bubba was lying about something about his wife. He just corrected him on the type of dog he was talking about earlier. Howard said he likes that Heather talks dirty in bed. He said he's really into that. Howard told Bubba a story about how he role played as a massage guy one time with Beth. He said that he had a whole scene going on and he'd like to be able to do that on a regular basis.
Howard asked if Brent is still banned from the studio. Bubba said he still comes in once in a while. He said he's in a Gary like role now. Bubba said that nothing has changed, he's just preparing the show a little differently. He said that Spice helps out too. He said Manson and Ned are still in the studio.
Bubba said he hopes that the gift comes today. He asked if they miss Artie being in there. Howard said ''Of course.'' He said they're freaked out by what happened. Bubba said people ask him why he doesn't play the 9-1-1 call and things like that. Howard asked if there is one. Bubba said he doesn't have it if there is one. Howard said he couldn't play the Brittany Murphy 9-1-1 call but Bubba did. Bubba said it was sad but he still played it.
Howard asked why the 9-1-1 calls are public. Bubba said he doesn't make the rules but he plays the calls. Howard asked Brent what he thinks about that. Brent said that it's there to protect the innocent in some cases. Howard said he doesn't think that all of the calls should be made public.
Howard and Bubba spent a few more minutes talking about Haiti and what's going on there. They were arguing about whether or not we should send them help or not. Howard said he thinks it's fine but Bubba said we don't need to give more money when they have our tax money to help out with down there.
Howard told Bubba about the tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant. Bubba also asked if he could bring them along with him wherever he goes. Howard said he'll make sure that happens. He said he can't imagine working for Clear Channel again though.
Howard said he saw pictures from Haiti and they had a big doll of Bubba getting pins put in it. They spent a minute on that before Howard had to wrap up. Howard said he'll let Bubba know when he gets his gift. He said he'll send him a thank-you note. Bubba said that he'll send some pictures of his wife over to him too.
Howard and Robin were talking about how handsome Spice boy is. Robin was saying that he does look good and she might be willing to do him. Howard said he likes that spice thinks that he'd be able to handle Robin.
Howard said those guys are good guys. He said they had fun with them over the holidays. Howard said he just realized they hadn't taken a break for a while. Fred said they had only taken one break but they'd be okay. Howard asked him why he didn't warn him. Fred said he was on a roll. Howard said he was just killing time. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and had Mike Walker on the phone. He said he'd do that and then get to the news block. Mike said that John Edwards has finally admitted to have fathered the girl with his mistress. Howard spent a minute talking about that and how the wife didn't believe the stories in the Enquirer. She said if she did believe them then she'd have to admit she was married to a monster. Mike said they've found Edwards with another woman as well so they have an interview with her in the Enquirer. Howard wondered why the guy hasn't just gotten divorced at this point.
Mike was saying that someone suggested that they be nominated for a Pulitzer for bringing that John Edwards story to light.
Howard told Mike about his comments he made about Pierce Brosnan's wife and how he feels bad for her. He said he likes seeing that Brosnan has a fat wife and he's such a good looking guy. Howard said women must like it because they see that Pierce is staying married to a fat woman. Howard said she didn't do anything wrong but they keep hammering her with the fat pictures. He said she's in a bikini and she shouldn't have been. Howard asked Mike if she should be left alone at this point. Mike said absolutely not. He said all they're doing is taking pictures of her in a bikini. He said she was very attractive before she gained all of that weight.
Mike said that guys don't mind fat chicks as much as fat chicks think. Howard didn't agree with that. Mike said that they are admiring Brosnan for staying with her and they admire her for going out in public in a bikini.
Howard had Mike get to his game so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Steve said they also have a story about the NY Times crossword which has ''____ The Midget'' as number 25 down. Howard said that's a big deal to be in the NY Times crossword. Howard picked up Eric who was on the phone but he dropped out about 5 seconds in. Howard wasn't sure what happened there. Gary said he wasn't sure what happened but they were trying to get him back on the line.
Howard was shocked that they used the word ''midget'' in the NY Times. Steve said that's how it's worded in there.
Eric was back on the line so Howard asked him if he heard he was a clue in the NY Times. Eric said that was the first he had heard of it. He figured it was a big deal. Howard said he'll have to show it to his parents. Howard said he has to embrace ''the midget'' and run with it. Eric said he's not going to do that. Howard said this is the big time though. He said he's made it now. Eric said he's never embracing that nickname, ever. Eric said he knows that it's a big deal to be in there but he's not going to embrace that. Howard said they never would have used ''Eric the Actor'' in that paper.
Howard asked Jon Hein what he thinks about it. Jon said it's a huge opportunity. Eric said a black person would never accept the N-word to be used as their name so he's not going to accept the M-word. Howard said he's number 31 on across but Steve said it was 25 down. Benjy was joking that the N-word was 31 across. Howard didn't get that he was joking.
Eric asked Howard if he got any clips from the JFSC show he did Tuesday and Wednesday night. JD said he wasn't there and he didn't get any clips. JD said they tried it last year and it wasn't that good. He said he didn't even know he was doing the show this year. Eric said they've worked out all of the technical difficulties. JD said that would mean he has to come in overnight. Howard said he doesn't want him coming in. Howard told him he can't come in at night because he had a nervous breakdown doing that schedule.
Howard told JD to forget the clips. Maybe Medicated Pete will record it. Howard asked Pete to come in to give him that assignment. Howard said he doesn't want JD doing it. Pete came in so Howard asked him if he would record the show. Pete said ''sure.'' Howard said maybe someone else can do it if Pete can't. JD said he will do it if worse comes to worse. Howard said he could care less about Eric's show if he can't get it done without coming in. Howard said he doesn't have any staffers to do it. Robin said Eric can record it himself. Howard said Eric can't even get the show on the air without technical problems. He won't be able to record it.
Howard asked Pete if he's seeing that girl again. Pete said no. He said he's not even in contact with her now. Will came in and said that he just had a conversation with Pete about that girl and he said she was still his girl. Howard asked who he was lying to. Pete said he has been talking to her. Pete said that they did hook up and they are a couple. Howard asked why he said she wasn't his girlfriend. Pete said ''yes... that was my stunning announcement.''
Howard asked Pete who he was lying to. He told him to look him in the eye and tell him if he has a girlfriend. Pete said he does. He said that it's not sexual. He said he has been kissing her. He said they went out to dinner last Friday. Howard said he just said he hadn't seen her. He wanted to know why he lied. Pete said he didn't know what just happened. He said it was kind of a black out. Robin said he just said that it was over and now he's saying that he went on a date with her last Friday. Pete said that might be a Tourette's thing. Robin called bullshit on that.
Howard said he heard that Pete has ''Medicated Pete'' t-shirts and hats now. Pete said that he'll hook Howard up with some. JD just laughed. Howard told him to set up a stand out in the hall and sell them. He said that he can't give them away for free.
Pete said he has a web site going up today later on. Howard said he's like the white Sean Jean. Pete said the hats are going to be like 25 bucks. He said they're really nice. He said it just says ''Medicated Pete'' on it. Howard said he doesn't understand Tourette's. Pete said he doesn't either. Pete said it's a weird thing that doctors don't even understand.
Howard asked Pete if he had a voice in his head that said to lie to Howard. Pete said he knew he was lying but it's just something that happens. Howard asked if he can believe anything he says.
Will said Pete told him he's been out on 3 dates. Howard asked if that was true. Pete said that is true. He said he's only kissed her on the cheek. He said he went out to coffee on the second date and dinner on the third. Pete said he took her to a nice steak place. Howard asked if it was Arbys. Pete laughed. Will said he thinks that this is all bullshit. Howard said he thinks that he's lying too.
Ronnie came in and said that Pete is a pile of bullshit. He said he lies to everyone. He said you don't know what to believe with the guy. He has a different story with every person. He said that it's not the Tourette's either. He said he and Benjy should be together with their bullshit stories. He said Pete is playing everyone there. He has the hats, t-shirts and web site and he's created a monster. Ronnie said he brought him in there the first time and created the monster that he is.
Howard asked Pete if he can help his lying. Pete said he has to really concentrate and he can. Ronnie asked him what the real story is and told him to concentrate and tell them what's going on. Pete said he didn't know he was lying and he can't control what he does. He said it's just crazy.
Ronnie dragged it out of Pete and found out that he actually had pizza at the steak place. Pete said it's a pizza place and steak place. Then he said they have sushi there. Doug Goodstein came in and said that Pete just said he kissed her on the first date but last week he said he didn't. He said it's just crazy. Howard said he has to get out of this and move on.
Howard told Eric he has to embrace the midget thing. He asked Eric if he's going to complain to the NY Times about it. Eric said he won't but he's not embracing that name. Pete told him he should embrace that ''Creme de creme'' of the paper world.
Fred looked up the steak place that Pete mentioned and they don't serve pizza there. Pete said that's what they had. Howard told Pete to go back and figure out his story.
Eric said he wanted to say one thing to Bubba. He said he had better back his army off his ass. He said they were threatening him and saying they wanted him to fly to Orlando to get punched by Kong. Eric also said that the party on February 13th is at the club in L.A. called Foreplay not the name he mentioned last week.
Howard let Eric go and got back to Steve. Steve said that Mark the Bagger has lost his job at the super market and he's out of work right now. The super market went out of business.
Jon Hein also came in and ran down his Wrap Up Show preview. They had to go to break after that.
Ralph was on the phone too but it was quarter after 10 so he didn't want to get into that. Howard told Ralph it was too late. Ralph said he was getting some calls about what they were talking about so he has to listen to the replay. Howard told Ralph about some of the things that were going on. Howard said he took a good beating today. Ralph said he was hearing from some people about what they were talking about but he has to hear it for himself.
Howard had Jason come in real quick to talk about what he was saying earlier. Ralph was denying the stuff about James Cameron and how he didn't want them to do the interview. Howard said he'd rather get into this on Monday. He said he didn't have time to do it now. Ralph told Jason to check himself because he sounds like a mental patient these days.
Ralph said Tim Sabean told him that he was impressed that he was expressing his thoughts about the magazine thing during their meeting. He said that Jon and Jason weren't even paying attention during the meeting. Howard told Ralph he has to go. Ralph got in a plug for his Geektime show that's on Saturday from 2-4pm on Howard 101.
Robin read a story about some rules that air lines have about obese people. She said that you can be kicked off of Air France flights if you're fat and you buy two tickets and the flight is full.
Robin read a story about a health facility for women in Saudi Arabia that was shut down. They won't allow women to work out in these facilities but it's fine for men to work out.
Robin read a story about how people have to cut back on salt because it's causing high blood pressure. Robin had some details about how they could save money if people cut back on salt.
Robin read that a chemical that's used in non-stick pans may be linked to thyroid disease. Howard said he was afraid of those pants when they start to peel. Howard said it's kind of weird.
Robin had a story about some baby carriages that are being recalled because they can pinch fingers when folding the top.
Robin had a story about a recall of some beef. She said that they're recalling 390,000 tons of beef for fears of E.coli contamination.
Robin read some news about Haiti and what's going on down there. She also had some updates on the benefit concert that's coming up tomorrow night.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's on welfare and she had to take something up with him about what he and Bubba were talking about earlier. Howard said Bubba was trying to suggest that they have people agree to be sterilized so they could cut back on the unwanted children on the planet. The caller said she didn't have a problem with that but there were some other things they said that she didn't like. Howard asked what the problem was. She said they were making it sound like anyone on Welfare is ''white trash.'' Howard said Bubba wasn't talking about her though. She said that he offended her. Howard told her to write Bubba a letter then. She said she probably would. She said she loves Howard as Howard let her go.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the concert. She had some other stories she went through quickly. She had one about some cops who are involved in a case where they're accused of assaulting a man.
Robin read some news about the election of Scott Brown and what it means to Democrats. She had some audio of some people talking about that. She also had clips of President Obama talking about health care reform.
Robin read some news about John Edwards being back in the news about the child he fathered out of wedlock with his mistress. The child is about to turn 2 years old. She had some audio of a spokesperson talking about that. Howard said people are rightly upset about that guy lying. The wife is dying of cancer but she's hanging in there like crazy. He said that he probably expected her to be gone by now and that's why all of this is such a big deal.
sRobin said that there is buzz over the final Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien even though some rumors are that it's not his final show. Robin had some audio of Conan joking about the situation. Robin said that they're saying that Conan has a scheduled hiatus for January 25th so they'll have to stay tuned to see if he comes back.
Robin read a story about the NY Times getting ready to start charging people to access the site. Robin said that Bill Gates is on Twitter now. She said that he's been posting about the Haiti disaster and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation so far. Howard joked that his first post was ''Fuck Haiti.'' He said he was just kidding about that of course.
Robin read about Senator John McCain using Sarah Palin to help campaign for him for reelection. Howard said she cost him the Presidential election. He can't figure out what the guy is doing. He said maybe he has Alzheimers or something and can't remember that.
Robin read a story about what would happen if an earthquake the size of Haiit's hit the United States. Howard said it would be a disaster. Robin said it could really cause some major problems if it hit the mid-Central United States.
Howard said it's funny that Pat Robertson is talking about how the Haitians are being punished for making a deal with the devil but it's not clear why he didn't punish us for stealing the land from the Indians. Robin said that Robertson would point out that they were heathens.
Robin read a story about Glenn Beck going off on Scott Brown talking about his kids the way he did. Robin said he doesn't trust the guy and wants people to keep an eye on him because they might end up with a dead intern if they don't. Howard said they're nuts over there on the FOX channel. He said they're talking about crazy shit.
Robin asked if Howard has Jets Fever now. Howard said he got it last weakened after watching that game. He said he doesn't think they can win but he wants them to. He's not even sure why he wants them to but he does. Robin read some quotes from Rex Ryan and how they're playing the best they can right now.
Robin read about the new ''The Tooth Fairy'' movie with Dwayne Johnson in it. Howard said that sounds like a mess of a movie. Robin told Howard what the plot was and Howard said he'd be gone as soon as he turns into the tooth fairy. Howard said that poor fuckin' bastard. He said he must have started to smell some fame and now he's stuck in a movie like that. He said it must be better than being a wrestler though.
Robin read about the new Mel Gibson movie ''The Edge of Darkness'' that's coming out soon. She had some audio of one of the directors talking about working with Mel Gibson. The guy said that he did a marvelous job on the movie.
Robin said the new show ''Caprica'' is stating on the SyFy channel tomorrow night. That was it for the news. Howard ended the show around 10:55am.
Jon asked what Howard learned form that conversation. Gary said that he learned that Ralph scares Jason with his phone calls and that there is a list of people that won't work with Ralph. Gary said he learned that the Ralph Room still isn't done at Scores. He said he thinks that Ralph is probably listening and that he's bummed that he can't be there for some of the stuff they do.
Jon said that Ralph is jealous of the interviews they get to do and Ralph wants to be there to do them. He said he doesn't want some of it being done without him because it is his show.
Gary said he was under the impression that Geektime was a collaborative show but that's not what it sounds like. Jon said it is but it's strongly influenced by Ralph's direction. Jon said Ralph doesn't want to do things that he's not into. Jon said he's out of the day to day stuff that Jason is involved with. He said he and Ralph drove each other crazy working on the Friday show. Jon said that Ralph is the one steering the ship now and he's staying out of it.
Gary said some people wanted him to trash Ralph over the Friday Show. He said that he never had an issue with Ralph on that show though. He said he and Ralph might bump heads on some things because he's very immovable on certain things. Gary said that he remembers Jon and Ralph butting heads over stuff. He said he would eat his breakfast while watching them going at each other.
Jon said since he and Ralph had their blow up they've been working together just fine. Jon said that Jason is the one who is still involved in the day to day menusha.
Gary said that they're always yelling there in the office and Jason would tell him that he's on the phone. He said he would ask him who he was on the phone with and it would be Ralph. Jason said that would only happen after the show though. Gary said he had the body language of a battered wife after a call like that.
Jason said there is no short phone conversation with Ralph. He said he knows it's going to be at least an hour. Jason said Ralph is a pain in the ass to work with but Geektime is a great show and it's worth being a part of it. He said even with that Ralph is a pain in the ass.
Gary said that they'll probably quadruple the listeners for Geektime this Saturday. Jason added that it was on from 2-4pm on Howard 101 this Saturday.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the blow up that Jon and Ralph had on the show. He thought it was on the Friday show but it was actually on this show. They talked about how Jon went off on Ralph and really got pissed at him about questioning his work ethic.
Jon said he and Ralph get along much better now ever since that blow up. Jon said that he took a different role with Geektime but it's Ralph's vision. He said he likes doing the show with him. He said you can't have four people taking lead on something though so he has to let Ralph do his thing. He said that they have a mutual respect for each other.
Jason said he loves Ralph too and that's why this is hard to talk about. He said he's a pain but he loves the guy.
A caller asked who is more hated by the other staff, Ralph or Jason. Gary said no one is really hated that much. Teddy said he'd have to pick Jason as being the big sweetheart. He said that Ralph has been nice to him too though. Benjy didn't have an answer for that. Gary said he didn't want to answer it either. Gary said that the staff doesn't hate either of them.
That led to the guys talking about the survey they took recently where everyone was bashing Jason as being the most hated there. Jason said his mother brought that up again when he saw them over the holidays and he thought about how weird it was that so many people marked him down for being the most hated. He said he considers everyone there to be a good friend and they all put him down as the most hated.
Gary said that Jason is like his teacher's pet because he works right outside his office. He said he's like his Radar O'Reilly and Jason had no idea it was a reference to the MASH TV show. Gary said that made him feel really old.
Gary said he has to deal with Jason all day long every day. He said he gives him personal information and he just doesn't have that same thing with Ralph.
Jason said that Gary took him under his wing and he respected the hell out of him for that. He said if they had a problem with each other they'd say so. Gary said that when they get along it seems to piss everyone else off.
Another caller brought up Robin's reaction to Ralph and what she was saying. Gary said that there is Howard and then there is everyone else. He said they do whatever is best for the show and Howard's show is the most important one there.
Jason talked about the peter Jackson interview that they didn't get to do and how that was when he realized that he was working on Ralph's show and not actually the Geek time show. Jon was out of the loop on that but he said he would have spoken to Peter Jackson if he could have.
Gary said that Ralph should let them do the interview because they might have something to ask the guy that would be interesting for the show. Jason said that Ralph sent them questions to ask James Cameron so they were still doing the interview for his show. He said that Ralph has a different vision for the show and they're going along with it.
Ralph called in and said that Jason is saying stuff that's not quite true. He said he doesn't seem to have a clear idea of what's going on. Ralph said he never said that there was too much Jon in that James Cameron interview. He said he never said that he didn't want to do the James Cameron interview either. Jason said he never said that either.
Ralph said Jason was the one who suggested that they replace Jon's voice in the interview. Jason said Ralph did complain about there being too much Jon in the interview. He said he suggested to him that they dub in his voice. Ralph's connection dropped out so they lost him for a minute.
Jason said he's not looking to hurt Ralph in this. Ralph said that Jason has turned into a little weasel. Ralph said he's really pissed off about what he's heard this morning. Ralph also said that Howard was wrong about what he was saying about his web site too. He said he never said that it was going to turn into JumpTheShark.com like Howard said he did.
Gary and Jon asked Ralph to explain the Peter Jackson interview thing. Ralph said he tells Jason to do stuff and he always forgets or just doesn't do it. He said he's not a good producer. Ralph said the calls he makes to Jason are usually to tell him to do things over and over again. He said that's because Jason doesn't do what he asks him to.
Jon said that this is the kind of stuff that drove him over the edge and led to his big ''fuck you'' moment with Ralph. He said that it was when he was questioning his work ethic that he snapped. That's what he's doing to Jason now.
Ralph said he's hearing Jason speaking mis-truths. Jason said they'll have to agree to disagree on that. Ralph said he wasn't going to try and fool the audience into thinking they were doing a live interview with Cameron either. He said that Tim was saying that they should keep it quiet and just play it as a tape on the show.
Ralph said Howard was wrong about the Friday show stuff too. He said that he never talked to Howard about the Friday Show. He said he always spoke to Tim about it and maybe to Howard once or twice.
Ralph said he just wants to put some things into place with Geektime and go in and talk about it. Jason said it would be nice if it was that easy. Ralph said he wants the show to be easy but he doesn't get why Gary is confused by that.
Gary asked Ralph if he sees that he's hard to work with. Ralph said he sees that but he likes to do things a certain way and he has a hard time dealing with incompetence. He said it makes him nuts when people don't do things correctly.
Jason wasn't sure if Ralph had the ability to fire him from the show or not. Ralph was sure that he could get rid of Jason from that show if he wanted to. Gary said he thinks that Tim Sabean has ultimate control over the other shows on the channel there. Ralph said he doesn't see it that way and he could get Jason off the show if he didn't want him there.
Jason asked Ralph if he would ignore Tim if he told him he wanted him to be there even if Ralph didn't. Ralph said he would listen to Tim but he still thinks that he could get rid of him.
Jason said that he and Ralph have had their differences but he enjoys working on the show. Ralph said he likes working with Jason and he's done other shows with him. He said he's good at what he does but there are things he doesn't follow through on. Jason said he only has time to do so many things in a day. He said he will do the best he can and get the most important things done.
Jason said that he told Ralph that it wasn't fun doing the show when he twittered the James Cameron thing and Ralph freaked out on him. Ralph said that he did that like 5 weeks ago and they aren't airing it until this weekend. Ralph said it was annoying on so many levels that he had to get upset.
Ralph asked Jason what happened when they were going to go to lunch the other day. Jason said he wanted to go to lunch on Monday but Ralph told him he wasn't sure about it. Then he got stuck out doing things in the afternoon and it was Ralph who didn't follow through with the whole thing. Ralph said he told him he could talk later but then he didn't hear from him. Jason said he got caught up in his plans and he apologized for that. He said he's not sure why Ralph is upset with him over that.
Gary said that for anything that's not running the way Ralph wants, is there anyone else responsible other than Jason. Ralph wasn't sure what he meant. Gary said if it's not his vision for what he wants, is it all on Jason. Ralph said he's trying not to put it all on him. Gary said that's the way it's coming across though.
Ralph said he and Jason shouldn't argue about this stuff on the show. He said it wasn't designed to be that kind of show. Gary said the show will be fine but this show is where they can argue. Gary said they'll get a lot more people to listen now that they've talked about it on Howard's show and on this show.
Jon said that he was telling Howard about the James Cameron and Peter Jackson thing and how Ralph is jealous that he's not there. Ralph said that's why he wanted to do a show like this. He said he wants to talk to those people on the show. He said he's happy that Jon got to interview James Cameron. Jason said that's just not true and he was upset about not being there himself.
Ralph said that if they had someone like Leonard Nimoy walking through the station there then he'd be right over. He said they should have some questions that they can ask people who come through there that they want to talk to. Ralph said he's not into that show ''Chuck'' but Jason is. He said that if the guy from the show came up there then he'd be fine with Jason interviewing the guy. He said he doesn't want to sit down and listen to that when he's not into the show. Ralph said he's trying to think of a way that a guy from Chuck would work when he's not really into that.
Ralph said he wants to be able to talk to people live in the studio but Gary told him he has to move his show from Saturdays at 2 if he wants to do that. It's just not a good time to do a show. Ralph said that's a whole other issue.
Ralph and Jason were arguing about who is saying what. Jason said that he works very hard on both Howard's show and Geektime. He said that there was a question about interviewing James Cameron and he can't believe Ralph is denying that. Jason said everyone else sits there silently but he's not going to. Jason said that the Peter Jackson interview was another thing that Ralph didn't want to do. Ralph said that they were going to get maybe 5 minutes with the guy. Gary said they should do the interview even if they never end up playing it.
Ralph said he'd like to be able to do a bit like Leno does with the 10 at 10 thing. He said he had that idea before Leno even did. Ralph said that he would like to do that with people who just pop up at the station there.
Jon had Ralph get in a plug for this weekend's Geektime show. It's airing at 2pm on Saturday on Howard 101. Jon said he can't wait to do that show. He's looking forward to this one.
Gary said that he might be able to help get them a guest from ''The Big Bang Theory'' if they want. Jason said that show has never come up during their meetings. Gary said he knows Johnny Galecki and he should be able to hook them up with him as a guest.
Gary asked why they don't use him as their gadget guy. Ralph said that he's done a gadget segment but they have Cali Lewis on instead. Jon asked JD what he had to say and he paused for a few seconds and said that they had better have on Kaley Cuoco if they have anyone from the Big Bang Theory. He ran in there just to tell them that. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said he doesn't have any issues with Jason. He said Jason has another job there. Ralph was on the phone again and he said he knows that Jason has other things to do.
Jon asked Ralph if he's okay with Howard talking about his New Year's eve thing. Ralph said he's going to talk to Howard about that off the air first.
Ralph also said he didn't know that Gary was a gadget exert. He said he thought he had done a review of the Kindle but Gary said it was the Sony Ebook reader. Ralph said it had to be the Kindle but Gary insisted it was the Sony.
Ralph said he left the Gary gadget thing up to Jason as well. Jason said that he can't say anything because he'll be called a liar. Jason said that Ralph didn't want Gary on the show because he wanted to get other people instead of the Stern Show guys on the show. Jason said that he didn't forget Gary or anything because they had a lot of stuff going on with that last show.
Ralph said maybe Gary can be on this week's show. Gary said he's doing a thing for Howard TV that's going to be starting in about a month so he can't do their show this week. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:15am.