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Howard's breakfast had just arrived as the show was about to start. He thought about going right to break before starting the show so he can eat it while it was still hot. He quickly mentioned that Ali G (Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen) would be stopping by on today's show and talked about how upset some Jewish groups were upset about the anti-semitic song he did on his show ''Da Ali G Show.'' Howard and the guys spent a minute talking about that before Howard went to break so he could eat his hot breakfast.
Howard mentioned Ali G again and said that his real name is Sacha Baron Cohen. Jason gave him a tape from his show where he interviews Andy Rooney. Howard played the audio from that interview and did his goofy interviews to the point that Rooney was about to bail out on the whole thing. Rooney was correcting him on his use of the English language. Rooney eventually tells Ali G that he has to end the interview because things aren't going well. Ali asked him if it was because he was black (which he isn't) and Rooney seems to think that he's insane after hearing that.
Howard ended up talking about a routine that Artie does on his upcoming DVD release where he talks about how, if he were a wigger, he would do it as a black guy from the 1800's. He explained some of it to Robin and told her how funny it was. Howard said that Artie is a really good stand-up comedian. He doesn't usually watch that kind of stuff and he watched all of Artie's stuff. Artie says that the DVD should be out in about a month or so. Howard told him that he down plays how good he actually is. There were a bunch of good bits that Howard liked. He left Artie a message about how good he was and told him that he could take that act and do it regularly as a living no problem.
Artie told Howard that the guys that shot the DVD got some great stuff back stage at a few comedy clubs they played at and they really show what it's like for a comedian on the road. Howard quoted Artie on some of his routines. Artie said that when things go well at gigs, it's a lot of fun to be on the road. The new DVD is going to be called ''It's The Whisky Talking'' and it'll be out in about a month.
Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that there was nothing to eat there and Mariann from Brooklyn helped them out and brought a loaf of bread so they'd have something to eat. Howard told a couple of stories that Ronnie told him. There was a VIP section at the club they played at and it was about the size of Robin's booth. Ronnie brought a couple of Scores girls down to the club. They wanted some drinks but the drinks were really expensive and there was nothing to eat except for the stuff that Mariann from Brooklyn brought. Ronnie said he knew that there wouldn't be any food there. He figured it was his son's big night and he'd be prepared for something like that. It was sad and people couldn't wait to get out of there so they could get something to eat. The party ended up going to Scores after that.
Scott claims that the guy told him they would have some finger food there but there was nothing. Howard told Scott to just leave them out of that stuff because he's acting like a loon. He wondered if he wanted them to come to his soccer games as well. Artie was there and took a minute to introduce the band but Ronnie said it went so long that Scott's son got pissed about how long he was taking to introduce them. Scott complained that it was a bad night, but then changed it to ''It's been a bad life'' since he's so miserable.
Scott said he was going to go to the party with the rest of the guys but he had to take his wife home. Ronnie told Scott that they would have driven him home if that was the problem. Ronnie then told a story about Artie's friend Pauly. Howard jumped in on the story and talked about how Artie bought his buddy a bunch of funny money and when he was leaving the club, he asked if he could cash it in for himself since it hadn't been used. Artie thought that was pretty funny. He hadn't heard the story.
Howard didn't realize how wrecked he had gotten that night. Ralph called in and told Howard that he was tired all that day, that's why he didn't look like he was having a good time at Nobu. He said he was busy working on stuff that day and he was just worn out from it. Howard was talking about how picky Ralph is about everything he eats and drinks but Ralph said that it's Howard who is very particular about his bottled water and stuff like that, not him.
The guys all had a lot of fun at Scores that night. Howard mentioned that Brian Phelan from E! has changed a lot from the days of partying. He is on lockdown these days now that he's married and has two kids. Ronnie said that he got a call from Brian the other night so he invited him to come out with them. Brian used to come to all of those parties and would be drunk before he even got there. Howard heard that Brian was at home with the kids while his wife was out somewhere. Brian claims that she was working. Howard wanted Brian to admit that his wife has changed since they got married. Howard said Brian used to say that his wife was really cool but now she must have changed and makes him stay home to take care of the kids. Howard said it's sad when you see a guy like that change. Brian said it's a big change when you have kids. He knows he had it good before the kids but now he has them and that's that. Ronnie thought for sure that Brian would come to the party that night even though he had the kids to take care of. Brian ended up falling asleep after chasing the kids around all day.
Brian thought that it would be nice to have a day care center there at Scores for the fathers who want to go to the club. Ronnie thought that might be a good idea. Mariann from Brooklyn called in so Ronnie thanked her for bringing the food to Scott the Engineer's party the other night. She was also defending Scott pushing his son's band all the time. Scott came back in and thanked her for coming to the party so Howard started to go off on him again about always plugging his son's stuff every minute.
Shuli called in and said he was on the HowardStern.com bulletin board over the weekend and he doesn't know how the guys on the show can take all of the bashing that goes on there. He also likes that you can click on a name and see what they're looking at. He saw that Jessica Hahn was reading the ''Jessica Hahn is a skank'' thread. Shuli also mentioned that Jackie the Joke Man did a show out in Vegas recently and a friend of his was invited to a party he threw and he didn't have any food there. Scott the Engineer had said earlier that he learned from Jackie so he had learned from the best about how to throw a party.
A guy called in and complained about the way Scott is doing things with his son's band. That got Howard back on the subject so he ended up talking about how lame it is to always push that stuff at work. He said he never did that kind of crap with his kids at work. Gary came in a minute later and said the talk around the office is that Scott thinks that his son's band is his lottery ticket. Scott said that's not the case so Fred said that he thinks it's his ''golden parachute'' instead. Howard asked Scott to chill out with that stuff so Scott said he will. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard talked about how he was trying to get to sleep the other night and he just couldn't do it. His girlfriend told him to just go get something to eat. He said he went to weigh himself before eating anything but his girlfriend busted him and heard him pulling out the scale to check his weight.
Artie told Howard that he has lost 20 pounds since January. Robin wondered how he did that eating the way he does. Artie said it all has to do with the iPod he has. He uses that while he's jogging and he really loves it. Howard told the guys that the first season of ''The Munsters'' are coming out on DVD today so he can't wait to get that. Artie said that they should have a party where they watch the shows together.
Howard asked Artie how his comedy gig with Robert Schimmel (RobertSchimmel.com) went this past weekend. Artie said the trip up there was horrible. It took him like 8 hours to get up there. He got there just in time to do his thing opening up for Schimmel. Then Schimmel got up and did his thing. While he was doing his gig a few women saw that he had one of these brown recluse spiders on his neck. Artie found out that the spider is one of the most poisonous spiders around and if it had bitten him, he could have died. The spider was on Schimmel's neck but he managed to brush it off before it bit him.
Gary came in and said that he was talking to Richard Christy who said his grand father almost had to have his leg amputated after he was bitten by one of those spiders. You have to get a shot within an hour or so after being bitten by one of those things. Howard was hoping that they had video of Schimmel brushing the spider off because you always look gay when you do something like that.
Howard saw some news over the weekend about how Lizzie Grubman has been given a reality TV show by MTV. The only thing she's known for is running over a bunch of people so he doesn't get it. He said that everyone in Hollywood is trying to run over people so they can get their own reality show. Artie saw Lizzie on Thursday night when he was out to eat at Nobu. She was sitting next to them and he said that she's a real ''butterface.'' The Olsen Twins were also there that night. He saw one of them going to the bathroom and she looked like she weighed about 60 pounds. He said he'd bang her if he could though. He said they're sexy in a weird way.
The guys talked about the Olympic games a little bit. Artie said the only thing he's following is the basketball and our team is doing horribly. They lost to Lithuania the other day. Howard said he can't imagine how that's possible. Neither can Artie of course. Gary said that Greece and Puerto Rico both beat them as well. The guys talked about a couple of other odd things that have gone on during the Olympic games.
Howard has been getting tapes from Rob Schneider who is over in Amsterdam shooting ''Deuce Bigalow 2.'' He's sending tapes of the hot chicks they have been interviewing and stuff like that. He wants them to run that stuff on his E! show so he's going to give the tapes to Robin Radzinski.
Howard watched a movie over the weekend and had the movie ''Equilibrium'' that was really good. He had a problem with the DVD and wasn't able to see the whole movie because the DVD was bad. Howard mentioned ''The Munsters'' DVD again and Gary hadn't heard him mention it earlier. Gary wants his kids to see that stuff. Gary wants to get the Star Wars Trilogy which is coming out on DVD soon as well. Howard said he wouldn't buy that because he went back and watched it on tape and it kind of sucked. He said it dragged on and just doesn't hold up very well over time.
Howard had a picture of what happens to a person if they don't get treated for a brown recluse spider bite. He showed it to the guys and said it was a big, black mess. He also said that he's thinking twice about sitting pool side out in Las Vegas because the chigger bite he got out there a few months back left a big scar on him.
Howard brought up how he has another daughter going to college this year and how she just left over the weekend. He said it's the start of something great for her and she'll do well but he's upset about it. She's leaving home and he's not going to see her that much now that she's gone. He's hoping to go up to visit her sometime but that's up to her.
Howard said he took his daughters out to dinner the other night to Aquavite and had a great time. That was on Friday night and then Saturday he woke up and didn't know what he wanted to do. His girlfriend was out in Pittsburgh at a wedding so he didn't have her around. He decided to experiment to see if he could pleasure himself to pictures of her. He explained to Robin how he was running around his apartment naked looking for her FHM magazine. He kept seeing himself in the mirror with his flabby ass though. He's really white because he hasn't been sitting out in the sun that much. He's still got a jiggly belly and he only weighs 189 pounds (at 6'5''). He doesn't get how that's possible.
Howard said even his dog was gone for the weekend so he was in the apartment all alone. He went through his desk trying to find this FHM magazine. He hates to be nude anywhere because he's afraid he's going to hurt himself somehow. He eventually found the first FHM shoot Beth did but he wasn't a fan of that shoot. He said that he wasn't even able to pleasure himself to that one. Then he found her calendar and used that instead. He got out his tissues and did his ritual. He started looking at the calendar and just wasn't able to do it using her calendar. He said it just wasn't possible to pleasure himself to her pictures.
Artie said he doesn't even think he could do it to Beth's pictures. He may know her too much. Howard said he went to a porn channel and picked out some porn to watch instead. He complained about how they have a group listed on this channel called ''Exotics'' but it's just full of black and Asian based porn. He said if he was black or Asian, he'd be upset that they were grouped under ''exotics.'' Howard found a movie that he thought might be okay to get off to. He just wasn't able to think about Beth in the way he wanted to when he was pleasuring himself. His experiment had failed.
Howard had some audio clips from Extra where they interviewed Joe Piscopo about the run for governor. Piscopo claims that there are some young businessmen who came to him and told him he should run. Howard and the guys goofed on him about all of that. He had to interrupt that because Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G) was there. He replayed the clip from ''Da Ali G'' show that he'd played earlier in the show to let people hear what Sacha does on his show.
Howard went to Jason and asked him to find him a plunger. Jason offered to plunge it for him if he wanted. The guys thought that was kind of weird. Jason came in a short time later and said he never offered to plunge it for him, he just offered to take a picture for him. Howard went back later and found that Jason didn't find a plunger. He went and found Tom Chiusano instead and made a joke out of it. There was nothing he could do and he doesn't even know if they had anyone take care of that mess for him. Jason said he checked the toilet on Friday and someone else had cleaned it. Howard feels bad for whoever did that for him.
Howard talked about the Andy Rooney bit he'd played earlier and how it shows how humorless Rooney really is. There was an article in the paper today about Sacha's show ''Da Ali G Show'' because he did a bit where his character, Borat, sings about throwing Jews down a well. Now there are Jews who are pissed off about the bit and at Sacha for what he did. They want Sacha's show to be taken off the air. Howard wondered if HBO is going to cave in and actually take the show off. Sacha said he did one bit that HBO never aired because the guy being interviewed was talking about how they used to hunt blacks in Africa. This guy down in Texas also talked about how good the Final Solution was and he was serious. They aired that segment over in England but not over here on HBO. They think that it trivialized the holocaust so that's why HBO didn't put it on. Howard said that over here in the US it's like we have to protect the stupid people. That's why they take stuff like that off the show.
Howard played the bit that he was talking about where Sacha's character Borat sings a country song about the Jews and how they should throw them down the well. He's in a bar with a bunch of hillbillies and they eventually start singing along to the song. Howard thinks it's unbelievable that the people in the bar actually sing along to the song.
Howard asked Sacha if they think about how wrong a bit like that can go. He said they do think about that stuff but when they start to see what's going on, they know that they've gotten some ''comedy gold.'' Howard wondered if they've ever lost anything because they didn't have a camera running for some reason. Sacha said that he had a camera man early on one time who was told not to turn off the camera no matter what. He looked at some tape later in the day and found that the guy had turned it off. Sacha told Howard that everyone on camera knows that they're being filmed so that's how they get them all on.
Howard asked Sacha about this interview he did with this guy who was running for office. The guy basically says that he thinks the Jews are going to hell for their beliefs. The guy didn't do that well in the election and HBO has heard from him about this stuff. Gary told him that he called the FCC and the Sherrif's office after it aired. Howard played the clip of that interview where Sacha was doing his character Borat again and asking the guy about the Jews and if he thinks they will go to heaven or hell. The guy responds saying that he thinks the Jews are going to hell.
Howard asked Sacha if he's making some good money working for HBO. He said that they give him creative freedom but Howard doesn't think he's making much money. Howard said that Sacha almost got an interview with him when he was over in England. Sacha wasn't in character at the time and just wanted to do a regular interview. Howard kind of remembered him coming up to him over there. Howard had done an interview with this guy Chris Evans over there and Sacha remembered seeing that. The guy is pretty popular over there in England to this day.
Sacha used to be a stand-up comedian but some people didn't get that he was doing characters so it didn't go over too well. He did a movie over in England based on his character Ali G but he's not sure if it'll come out over here. Howard also asked Sacha about the woman he's engaged to, Isla Fisher. Sacha talked about her for a short time.
Sacha told Howard a story about a guy who tried to take him into a bathroom stall one time and how he had to escape from him. He remained in character the whole time though. That led to Howard playing a clip of Sacha doing an interview as his gay character where he interviewed a straight guy about guns. During the interview he was making gay references and the guy threatened to knock every tooth out of his head if he made another gay reference. Sacha said he has one interview on the DVD he has coming out where he did something similar and the guy ended up pulling a gun out on him. He had to run off, remaining in character of course, and got away from the guy.
Howard gave Sacha a plug for his DVD ''Da Ali G Show - The Complete First Season'' and said that it's available now. HBO is going to be ''re-premiering'' his show ''Da Ali G Show'' this Sunday night as well. Howard played another one of his favorite clips where Ali G interviews a Veterinarian about why there were so many sick animals over in Viet Nam. He was confusing Veterans and Veterinarians and pissing the guy off. Sacha says that if everyone is in on the joke then the whole thing is pointless. Howard told him that he should be in a mad rush to get as many interviews as he can before the whole world embraces him.
Howard took some phone calls for Sacha. One guy asked about a band aid that Sacha was wearing on his face during some of his stuff. He said he cut himself shaving and wore the band-aid for that reason. He said it wasn't a great story. Another caller asked Sacha who his influence were because he seems kind of like Andy Kauffman. Sacha said he never watched Taxi but he did see the movie about him and thought he was a pretty incredible talent. Another caller wondered if Sacha was going to do any political interviews. Sacha said that he would love to interview Bush but he usually only interviews really intelligent people.
Howard played another clip from ''Da Ali G Show'' where he's talking about Euthanasia and makes people think that he thinks that they're talking about ''youth-in-Asia.'' Howard got a few more laughs out of that. He asked Sacha how he met his girlfriend but interrupted him and asked him about how he became friends with Madonna. He said he got a call from someone who he thought was impersonating Madonna so he goofed on her for a few minutes. Then, about 10 minutes in, she made it clear that it was really Madonna. She was a fan of his and eventually came over to his house for dinner with her husband. He told Howard that at one point, he turned and heard his mother telling her that she looks better in pictures than she does in person.
Howard thought that Sacha is engaged to this woman Isla Fisher but Sacha said that he's not actually engaged to her. He's just dating her and there are some stories that have run over in England that aren't quite true. Howard started to wrap up the interview but Gary came in and said that Sacha was able to interview someone high up in the FBI and he wonders how something like that happens.
Howard asked Sacha if there's any interview that he really liked that hasn't aired. Sacha said that he went to a guy who was supposed to ''heal him'' by massaging him. He said that the guy was trying to massage him but he couldn't relax. The guy left the room to let him relax for a couple of minutes. When the guy came back he pretended to be pleasuring himself furiously. The guy eventually called the cops but Sacha stayed in character and tried to drag it out a little longer. He had to break down and tell him that he was in character shooting a TV show. He said that the cops ended up taking the tapes and they still have them to this day.
Howard thanked Sacha for coming in today and gave him another plug for his DVD ''Da Ali G Show - The Complete First Season'' and wrapped up the interview.
Howard played an audio clip of a news report about his cartoon. The CNN news reporters were talking about Howard's show and how he might have to play the voice of himself but Howard thinks he's too mature sounding at this point. He may do the voices for his parents instead. He gave a quick example of what that would be like by doing an impression of his mother and his father. Howard had another news clip about his cartoon and the reporter was kind of snotty when she read the story. In another clip a reporter wouldn't say whether or not she was a fan when she was asked by another reporter there. He had a bunch of clips that he played from various news shows.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the format of his cartoon. He wants to be 14 one week and then 17 the next. He wonders if they can do something like that. Spike TV tells him they don't really care, they just want him to get the thing done. Robin said that would be fine and each week would be a different part of his childhood instead of doing it in chronological order. Howard told the guys about one episode that he wrote about how his mother raped him with a thermometer. The delay was hit when he mentioned that for some reason.
Howard had Robin start her news but he interrupted a short time later and mentioned some of the e-mail he's been getting. He said that people want to hear the replay of Artie's intervention from last week. He said he'd replay that on tomorrow's show. He also never got to KC to find out about his weekend with Beetlejuice. He said he should get to that tomorrow as well. Howard and Robin got to some other news stories and read a few more e-mails. Someone said that they had a nice conversation with Jessica Hahn. Others are writing in and saying that KC may be lying about the amount of money he won, and then lost, on GoldenPalace.com a few months ago. He just recently revealed that he won and lost $330,000 but one person wrote in and said it may have actually been as high as $1.7 million! Howard said they'd get to that tomorrow as well.
Howard told Artie that they have the Playboy model who is in love with him coming in tomorrow. He also talked about his ''bat wings'' which were his balls sticking to his leg. He doesn't use talcum powder because he heard it causes cancer. Artie said he hopes that's not the case because he uses powder down there.
Howard was carrying around a new purse this morning. Artie said he showed it to them yesterday as well. It was an army-like courier bag that he saw and liked so he got one. That led to Howard talking about politics and about how dumb our President is. He was recently asked if he would be visiting Athens the next week by a reporter. Bush responded ''Athens, Texas?'' not realizing that he was being asked about the Olympics. Howard had some fun with that for a minute
Howard brought up Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G) and how funny he was on the show yesterday. He played a clip from his show where he asks about Euthanasia confusing it with ''youth-in-Asia'' with the guests he's talking to. Artie was cracking up after hearing that clip again. Howard then played some promos that Sacha did before he left yesterday. He did some of his characters for them. Ali G, Borat and his gay character Bruno were all in there leaving messages for Howard.
Porn star Aurora Snow is coming in today so Howard mentioned that she's the woman featured in the audio clip they play on the show once in a while that sounds like a duck. She's doing something in the porn tape that is choking her and the noise coming out makes her sound like she's doing a duck impression. Howard played the clip to remind everyone what that sounded like. Howard and the guys enjoyed hearing a couple minutes of that. Howard got the tape from a blind guy who needs to hear stuff to get off. He'll be coming in with Aurora today.
Howard said that he had a business meeting at a guy's apartment yesterday and he must be a billionaire because his place was covered in some serious artwork. Robin wondered what the guy does. He works on Wall Street doing something. That led to the guys talking about artwork. Howard doesn't get the whole art thing. Artie talked about going to see an art show one time and one of the paintings sold for like $40 million and he had no idea why. Howard bought a crocodile made out of brass one time. He has appreciated art at times.
Howard was walking down the street yesterday and some guy who was jogging down the street mumbled ''Liberal douche bag'' behind his back and then ran off. He thought that was kind of cool even though he doesn't understand why someone would do that. He was also caught by a paparazzi guy out on the street. The guy caught him walking down the street so he asked him what he was doing. Howard ended up calling the guy an asshole and that he didn't come out on the street to get his picture taken. The two of them argued a little bit and Howard tried to walk away. Mr. Asshole told Howard ''Hey, why don't you buy some better clothes?'' Howard mixed it up with him a little more after that and went on his way. He said it was no big deal. He was already in a piss ass mood when that came around.
A listener called in and said he was down in Cape May in New Jersey and ran into Rick Dees down there. The caller was telling some stories that just didn't go anywhere so Howard was ready to bail out on it. The caller changed direction and said that Dees told him that he was with Howard on the whole Clear Channel thing after he'd bad mouthed him.
Howard was thinking of having Red Peters perform the theme song for his cartoon ''Howard Stern the High School Years'' when it's ready to air. After mentioning that he said he had to take a break.
Howard pointed out how the FCC isn't cracking down on Spanish speaking deejays who are doing even filthier material than he's ever done. The fact that they're not cracking down on them is racist in Howard's opinion. He read an article about the deejays and what they're getting away with because no one is cracking down on them while they're cracking down on him. There were a couple of deejays mentioned who are getting away with all kinds of stuff that Howard can't do these days because of the FCC crackdown. Howard said his suspicions are that Bush just wants the Spanish vote and that's why they're not cracking down on them.
Howard got a Warren Zevon tribute album that isn't out yet. He got it for his friend Ron Zimmerman who wanted a copy. He played a couple of tracks for Robin and had her try to guess who it was performing the songs. The first one Adam Sandler performing ''Werewolves in London'' and it wasn't all that bad. There was another one where Jackson Browne and Bonnie Raitt performed together as well. Howard really liked that cover but Robin didn't seem quite as impressed as Howard was. Fred said that he thought it was okay but it wasn't as good as the original Warren Zevon performance. Fred also thought that Adam Sandler's performance sucked. Howard played the Wallflowers version of ''Lawyers, Guns and Money'' and thought it sounded great. Howard said that they're a great band but they need to come up with some decent songs.
Gary told Howard about one track on this album where Bruce Springsteen performs a song. Springsteen puts on a weird voice in the song. Howard said he's been flip-flopping on Springsteen lately and he kind of enjoys some of his stuff these days. He said he can listen to a song of his on the radio if he hears it. Gary offered to burn him a CD but Howard wasn't that into the guy. Once he started to play Springsteen's cover of the Warren Zevon song, he had to bail out. He wasn't into it at all.
Gary had a Mystery Record for Howard to play as well. He played the song and all of the guys tried to guess who was singing. It turned out to be Billy Bob Thornton. Artie was the one who guessed it. Gary said that this album they were listening to will be available in September. It's called ''Enjoy Every Sandwich: Songs of Warren Zevon.''
Howard had a mystery record that he found on the internet. He played a short clip of the song and had the guys try to guess who it was. He played another clip but the guys weren't sure who it was. Howard said he loves this guy's movies which led to them guessing that it was Steven Seagal. Howard told everyone that he loves just about every one of his movies for some reason. He said he even likes his movie ''Exit Wounds'' with DMX. That led to Howard playing some of DMX's song where he sings about ''My Niggas.'' They also played Howard's own version of ''My Radio Niggas'' that they performed a few years ago. Howard remembered how hard it was performing that song because he lost his voice for a couple of days after performing that song. There was a lot of work put into that song. Howard had to go to break after playing that.
Howard read through some of the descriptions for the movies. He said he scrolls through these things while he's naked in his apartment looking for some porn to watch. Whenever he sees anything about ''big black lovers'' he'll bail out and move on to the next. There was a gang bang movie and some other things like that. The one he actually picked was ''High Rise'' which had a description that read something like ''Every office has one, a smokin' hot woman who wears nothing under her business suit.'' Howard said that one was okay to watch but not all that great. Howard read through some Spanish porn movies as well. Artie said he would watch some stuff like that.
Howard asked Johnny where he will be serving his time. He said it'll be at Rikers so it's not going to be fun. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about that before Howard wrapped up the segment. Johnny got in a plug for his web site FreeJohnny.com. Howard let him go after that and moved on to the next thing.
Aurora came in a short time later and Howard said she's actually pretty hot. Gary told him that she even stayed at her hotel last night because she wanted to make sure she was up in time to get to the show. She's like a regular girl except she does really nasty stuff in her videos. She uses beer cans, tennis racquets and other stuff in the movies she does. Howard asked her if she ever uses road flares. She hasn't done that yet. Howard told her he'd like to see her make love gently as well. Aurora said she has done some movies like that as well.
Aurora said she has also done gang bangs among other things. Howard thinks that the clip that he's been playing sounds pretty violent. She said she hasn't had a bad experience making porn movies. Aurora wasn't even sure where the clip came from where she's being choked and sounding like a duck.
Gary read a note from Will who said that she was sent to a hypnotist before her first time doing anal because she was kind of afraid of it. The hypnotist made her more comfortable with that. Aurora told Howard about how she got started doing porn and how there's really not a lot of money to be made when you first start out in the business. She has invested her money and is doing okay. She has a web site that she sells stuff on as well so that's another way she makes money.
Howard told Aurora about this blind guy, Pete, who sent them the movie clip that they've been playing. Pete has to get off to sounds since he can't see the movies. When he came in Robin said that he looks kind of like Brad Pitt, Paul Newman or Kevin Bacon. Pete told Howard that he was looking for a different clip that he heard on Howard's show but ran across this one instead. He could sort of picture it in his mind when he heard the clip. His friends described it to him and it was a little more graphic when he heard about it.
Blind guy told Howard that he has been able to get laid even being blind. They said that's because he's a good looking guy though. Howard let him feel Aurora's face to feel what she looked like. After that Howard was wondering if they could get her in the tickle chair so they could tickle her. She wasn't into that though so Howard had to try and convince her to get in there. It didn't work.
Howard wanted to hear Aurora do that sound she does in her porn clip so they gave her a banana. She took it and shoved it down her throat and made a sound that was pretty close to the porn movie. All of the guys seemed to be enjoying that stuff so they were having her try to talk while she was choking on the banana. Howard played her audio clip and had some fun with that for a few minutes before he started to wrap up the segment.
Howard ended up talking to the blind guy a little more about being blind and how he's able to wipe his ass. He said he can kind of feel what's going on down there when he wipes. Howard didn't want to let him feel his face if that was the case. He also advised Aurora to scrub her face since Pete had felt that a few minutes before. Howard gave Aurora a couple of plugs for her web site AuroraSnowXXX.com and SinCity.com where you can buy her videos.
Howard moved on to the game after talking to Star. They had Star get behind the curtain they had set up in the studio so she could get naked. If Joey loses, they drop the curtain and get to see her naked. Howard noticed, through the curtain, that Star was not shaved. He could see a little bit of something behind there.
Howard played the first song and Gary started writing immediately. Joey wasn't quite as quick. Here are the songs and who got the correct answers:
Howard took a call from a guy who said he stinks at the game but even he knew two of the songs that they played. Howard gave Star a $500 prize that was courtesy of the new movie ''Hero'' which comes out soon. Howard had to take a break right after that.
Howard also mentioned that he ordered one of the Rush Limbaugh ''Excellence in Broadcasting'' chairs that he sells. Gary said the order should take 4-6 weeks to arrive. Howard and the guys goofed on Limbaugh a little bit and talked about what a rip off that stuff is. A short time later Howard saw that they have an EIB (Excellence in Broadcasting) barbecue grill. Howard said that Limbaugh is an a-hole for selling all of that crap to his audience. High Pitch Erik called in later and asked if he could have Howard's old chair when he gets his new EIB chair from Limbaugh's web site. Howard had a new audio clip of Erik saying ''Oh Yeah!'' just like Taylor Rain does in her porn movies. Howard was goofing around with that clip and goofing on Erik instead of answering him.
The guys ended up goofing on Joe Piscopo a little bit during the news when Robin brought up the fact that he's thinking of running for Governor of New Jersey. They played a song that Joe did many years ago when Howard was doing his WWOR Channel 9 TV show. The song was about Joe's girlfriend Kimberly. They wrapped up the news and the show around 10:20 this morning.
Howard started off the show saying they had a big show coming up. Playboy model Sonja Bright was coming in to meet Artie because she's in love with him. Howard then played tape of Robin trying to get Beetlejuice to sing the Michael Jackson song ''I'm Bad.'' He played her just saying the words and then a version with some music in the background.
Howard said he had a stunning development to talk about. Tom Brokaw on NBC news last night said the word Bukkake. He was trying to pronounce the name of a city in Russia, Buchalki, where two planes crashed and came out with Bukkake. Howard played it twice just so people could hear it again. Artie had some fun with that and threw in some things like the city of ''Nasty Sanchez.'' Howard told Fred to pull the clip of Brokaw stammering as he was trying to say the name of the city. Howard played the clip once again and said they should just play that all day. Fred did his impression of Brokaw and had some fun with the clip himself.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked Howard for being in her area of Fresno, California. He went back on there a few weeks ago after Clear Channel had taken him off the air back in February. Howard said he was glad to be back there. The Tom Brokaw clip was still being played over and over again throughout the call. That clip was a gold mine according to Howard.
Howard said he found the version of ''Sweet Jane'' that he was talking about on the show yesterday. The band Cowboy Junkies covered it and he said he thought it was really good. Howard and the guys ended up talking about Lou Reed and the old days at radio stations back when Howard was first starting out in the business. Howard played the Cowboy Junkies version of ''Sweet Jane'' and talked about cruising around in his car while listening to it the other day. Fred threw in a couple of sound effects from a porn movie while the song was playing. He was on fire for some reason this morning with the sound effects. He kept playing the Tom Brokaw clip and this porn clip of a woman being gagged by something while the song was playing. Howard told the guys that The Losers should be performing this song against Billy Bob Thornton's band soon.
Howard changed subjects and said that he watched Oprah Winfrey's show yesterday because he had a couple of families on who had kids who were about 5 years old and wanted sex change operations. He said it was a pretty cool show. Dr. Phil had a show that was cool as well with a transsexual on running around in a dress as a woman. There was one dude on the show who had the sex change operation and he looked ''way hotter'' than his wife.
A listener called in and told Howard that Bush signed a bill that will take away overtime pay from 6 million Americans. That lit the fuse for today's political rant. Howard went off on Bush for a couple of minutes about the things he's said about going into the National Guard. Howard also asked Robin about the bill that the guy was talking about. Robin confirmed that it was a real bill.
A caller told Howard that John Kerry was on ''The Daily Show'' the other night and wondered if Howard had seen it. Howard didn't see it but Scott DePace was apparently watching the segment in the back room and was yelling at the TV. Scott came in a minute later and said that wasn't true. He said he was talking to Steve Freed back there and they were arguing but he wasn't yelling at the TV. Artie told Howard that Scott's wife is nominated for another Emmy (she works for The Daily Show) so Scott has to go out there to L.A. with her and has to pay $300 to get into the event. Scott told Howard he's not even sure his wife was one of the people nominated and she doesn't get to go up on stage with Jon Stewart if they win anything. Howard said he'd rather get the ratings and not get an Emmy for his show. He doesn't win anything, he just gets number one ratings in places like Philadelphia. He had to take a break after that.
Howard got a letter from Hugh Hefner that was a personal note to him. Robin heard that it was typed so she said it wasn't that personal because he typed it. Anyway, Hefner thanked Howard for handling Jill Ann Spaulding the way he did. Hef told Howard that her book was a self-serving piece of work and he doesn't like it. He says that he does not play gay porn in his bedroom like Jill Ann claims in her book. Howard and Robin want Hugh to come on the show and talk about what really does go on in his bedroom. Gary said the guy doesn't get up that early so he probably won't be able to get up early enough to do the show.
Janks told Howard that the people who win actually get prizes when they answer correctly. Howard said that should be a fun night. A depressed alcoholic will be asking people questions. Gary came in and told Howard that he heard a story about Janks' appearances where like 10 people show up and no one pays attention to him. Janks said a lot of people show up to these things, they just don't pay attention to him. Janks said that the place he's making his appearance at is The Tex Mex Connection in North Whales, Pennsylvania. He lives in that area.
Robin said all Janks had to do was buy a game of Trivial Pursuit to prepare for this game. She was joking but Janks said that he actually is using Trivial Pursuit cards for the game. Howard wrapped up the call with Janks and let him play a prank call for him. The call got censored by the guys on the delay button so we didn't get to hear it. Janks had another one to play though. The call was to MSNBC shortly after Iraq was invaded last year. Janks pretended to be over there during the attack and that the civilians were asking for tapes of Howard Stern. They hung up on him after he mentioned Howard's name. Janks had used a transistor radio to create a static sound in the background. Janks said he'll be doing this trivia game thing every Wednesday night at this restaurant Tex Mex Connection. Artie said next week he'll be playing Monopoly.
A guy called in and told Howard that the first call they played was censored by Tom. Howard said he thought they might do that because Janks used the word ''asshole'' and it's not okay to say that on his show anymore. It was okay for a little while but now it's not. The rules are rewritten every day now there.
Howard brought up the porn chick Aurora Snow again and talked about how she looked like a dolphin in one of the pictures. Howard was on the bulletin board at about 5 in the morning today and there were about 1500 people on. He was surprised to see that many on there at one time. Robin mentioned that she saw Jenna Jameson on the E! show last night and she didn't look as good on TV as she did when she was there live.
Howard broke in with the Tom Brokaw news report that he's played earlier with his ''Bukkake'' mention. Howard said he got about 50 phone calls about that last night after it happened. Howard wanted to hear the report again even though he had heard it a bunch of times already. He laughed after each replay though. Fred was doing his impression of Brokaw and Howard wondered how a guy like that gets a network news job with a speech impediment like he has. They replayed Brokaw's screw up over and over and it seemed to get funnier every time. Artie and Fred were having a lot of fun with Brokaw's speech impediment and the goofy names he could use during his news reports. Robin told the guys that the name of the city that Brokaw was trying to pronounce was spelled ''BUCHALKI'' and that's not the same as Bukkake. Artie said this was some of the most fun he's ever had goofing on Brokaw.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked Howard for keeping his grandfather entertained for years. He ended up giving the guy a $500 prize courtesy of the movie ''Hero.'' He also said that he'd give Sal the Stockbroker his last $500 prize since his prank call using Ed Torian's voice was so good. He replayed the call and then took a break.
Howard said tonight on E! they have the ''Restless, Restless'' song contest. The winner, Kevin, doesn't match his voice when you see him according to Howard. Artie called it ''Polishing the Turd'' with the turd being Vinnie and Tom's lyrics.
Howard talked about these guys like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity who sell all kinds of crap on their web sites. He has ordered an EIB (Excellence in Broadcasting) chair from Rush's web site and he's just waiting for it to come in so he can see just how crappy it is.
The guys discussed the Olympics for a short time after Howard brought up how Governor McGreevey looks gay now that he's come out of the closet. He has always looked gay with the haircut he has and stuff like that. There was also some discussion about Olympians who look gay in the sports they compete in.
Last week Beetlejuice was on the show to promote an appearance he was making with KC. KC had to take care of Beetlejuice himself over the weekend so Sean, Beet's manager, had to give KC a list of stuff he had to do to take care of him. Sean told KC that if he smells anything coming from Beet, he should ask him if he had an accident. Beetle would then hop in the shower and clean himself off. There were a bunch of other rules for what he has to do to keep Beetle in line because he will run off and disappear if left alone. Beetlejuice didn't seem too happy about the whole thing and it looked like it might be trouble.
Howard was upset with the E! crew because they didn't go out to follow them around with a camera. It turns out that they wanted KC to carry the camera around himself instead of sending someone else out there to follow him around. Howard said Doug Goodstein told him that KC didn't want to do it so he thought that was the reason they didn't send someone out. Doug came in and told Howard that there was some other stuff that went on too. KC wasn't returning calls and the E! people didn't want to pay for the shoot. Robin Radzinski was the one who didn't want to send someone out there. The flight out to Little Rock would have cost them $2000 and that's what held them back. Howard said he has to get away from E! if that's the case. Doug said he has to as well because this stuff is depressing and bums him out.
Howard said that they have a new guy, Ted Harbert, running the network now and things haven't been running that smooth with them. Howard spoke to Ted and he kind of blew him off when he called. Howard wanted to talk to him about how things have changed over the years but Ted had to run off to do other things. Artie said he probably had to run off to work on ''It's Good To Be... Usher'' or ''It's Good To Be... Lindsay Lohan.'' Artie said those shows suck because he already knew that ''It's Good To Be... Brad Pitt.''
KC told Howard that he wanted to fly a friend out with him and the ticket was like $500. Doug said it would have cost them $1,400 though so he didn't know about the $500 ticket. Robin Radzinski came in and said that she made the call not to shoot the whole thing. They have a lot of tape of Beetlejuice and she figured they didn't need to go out there. The budget just wasn't there to do something like that either.
Howard read an article about a congressman who is upset about what's been going on with the Bush administration lately. Howard said this is just the beginning of that stuff and there will be more people coming out against Bush and his invasion of Iraq.
KC got back to his story about Beetlejuice and said that his flight out was Saturday morning at 6am. Howard interrupted him and asked where his audio tape was from the weekend. KC said it was lost in Little Rock. He said that it's coming back today so Howard told KC that he should come in and talk about this stuff when he has the tape. KC said it's being FedEx'd to his apartment today. He had given the tape player to Beetlejuice to do his Karaoke stuff and Beetle was the one who lost it. He left the audio tape in the player so that's how it got lost.
Beetlejuice showed up to go on this flight with him with just a plastic bag and a pair of underwear, nothing else. They got to the airport and there was a huge line there. He cut to the front of the line by saying that he has M.S. There were some fans there who knew he was full of it but he managed to get there anyway. Then they went through the metal detector and Beetle got through just fine. Howard thought it was funny that he said he had MS to get through the line. KC set off the metal detector but they let him go through anyway when they weren't able to find anything.
KC and Beetlejuice got out to Memphis where they had a connecting flight. Beetlejuice ended up disappearing at the airport while KC was talking on the phone walking toward the gate for their flight out. He had to run around trying to find Beetlejuice. While this was happening Fred started playing the Mission Impossible theme song. Beetle had gone to purchase a book bag to put his underwear in. The tag on the bag said that it was $15 but Beet said that it cost him $35.
KC had to spend 5 hours in Memphis with Beetlejuice because they ended up missing their flight. After that they went back to a bar/restaurant there in the airport. KC went to the bathroom and when he came back, Beetle told him that he'd ordered him a hamburger. About a half hour later he asked the waitress if he had ordered him anything. She told him he didn't order anything. KC said Beet was pissed that the plane had left so he made some pretend phone calls on his non-working cell phone. Beetle told him that he called the plane and they were coming back to pick them up.
KC said Beetlejuice doesn't sleep but he had his own room. He was told to stay in his room but he didn't exactly do that. KC tried to get some sleep before their gig but Beetle kept calling him every 5 minutes telling him they had to go to their gig. Howard said he'd be worried about Beetlejuice vanishing from the room if he was left alone. He said he'd tie him to the bed if it were him.
KC let Beet into his room later on and smelled something awful coming from him. He said that he didn't bother asking Beet if he had an accident because he didn't want to piss him off before the gig. He kept the window open in the limo on the drive over to the event. He didn't bother having him clean up. Howard and Robin told him never to have kids if that's the way he's going to react to something like that. They went to the gig and Beetle got wasted. They went back to the promoter's house late that night and had to wait for the cab to show up. KC went to the bathroom and when he came back he found Beetlejuice watching porn and pleasuring himself. KC told him to stop so he did.
KC had to take the share ride back to the airport. They had a couple of other people in the vehicle on their ride back. One guy had cancer so Beetlejuice was telling the guy he had cancer as well and he got it ''from some bitch.'' They got to the airport and things were going pretty well. They got stuck in Detroit because their plane was late. Beetle said he was leaving and taking a cab home. He wouldn't talk to him anymore because he felt it was his fault that the plane was late. Beetlejuice was walking around the terminal and not listening to him. KC tried to explain to Beetlejuice why the plane was late but he just wanted to leave. The plane eventually showed up and Beet became his friend again.
KC said that Beetlejuice bought some cigarettes down there and they were only $4.95. He handed the clerk two $5 bills so she handed one back to him. Then the clerk asked for ID and he handed her a $10 bill. The woman who was stuck next to Beetlejuice on the flight from Newark to Memphis called in and told Howard how bad he stunk. Beet kept falling into her seat as he was sitting there. Zolar also called in and told Howard about Beet's room out in Las Vegas and how he wasn't even able to go to the bathroom in his special room. There was excrement on the seat and stuff like that. A few other people called in and said they saw the whole event.
Gary came in and reminded Howard about how KC had the money in his hand a few months ago so he would never have to do stuff like this again. He had won $330,000 on GoldenPalace.com but ended up blowing it in a week. He was supposed to start getting checks for $4,000 a week but blew it all before the first check came. It was not a made up story like some people thought it was. KC said he was up and down during that week. KC admits he's retarded and know's how ridiculous it is that he blew all of that money. Gary said he came to him when he still had $200,000 and told him about what was going on. KC doesn't even know how he could do something like that with so much money. Howard had to take another break because they had to get to Playboy model Sonja Bright.
Howard moved on and said that this woman Sonja Bright is attracted to Artie and no one else on the show. When she walked in Howard said she looked really good. She actually won breast implants on the show one time. Howard told her at the time that she didn't need them though. Sonja appeared in Playboy but not as a Playmate or anything, just in one of the College Girl issues. Sonja wasn't looking over at Artie for some reason this morning. Artie noticed that and pointed it out. He was sitting near her and she was just looking at Howard.
Howard and Artie really weren't sure that she was into him like she said she was. Artie figured that she just wanted to get on the show. Howard had Sonja go over to Artie to stand next to him. She went over and she gave him a hug. Artie said she felt ''soft and womanly.''
Howard heard that Sonja was kind of a bitch while she was out in the green room. Some of the guys came in to tell Howard why they felt that way. Will came in and said that he did a pre-interview with her last night and she had a whole celebrity attitude. Will also said she didn't remember why she was on for the Queen for a Day contest that she won the breast implants on. Will said ''F-her'' and walked out. Richie from E! came in and said that she had an attitude as soon as she walked in. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and backed up what everyone was saying. She wasn't being nice to Nick DiPaolo when he came in the green room either.
Howard wanted to see some skin but Sonja wasn't interested in doing that. Howard wanted to see her boobs because he got her those boobs. You can see them on SalCalabro.com though. She didn't want to take any of her clothes off today for some reason. Howard wondered what was up with that but she didn't really have an answer. The E! guys had pictures from the site that they showed to Howard and the guys.
Sonja said that Artie makes her laugh and she finds him cute so that's why she likes him. She said she could date someone who is good looking but they have the personality of a snail. She also said something about how people lose their looks eventually anyway so why not date someone like Artie.
Howard was told that she claimed to have been raped twice when she was on the Queen for a Day contest. She said that it was a lie and she was never raped by her father like she claimed she was. It was all lies just to win the breast implants. A listener called in and told Howard that he dated Sonja and broke up with her back in February. She said she didn't know the guy. The guy said that he knows her full name, her daughter's name and her husband's name. Sonja denied all of the stuff that the guy was claiming. He said that they spent all summer together last summer but she swore on her daughter's life that it wasn't true. The guy warned Artie about this girl because he thinks she's crazy.
Ralph called in and said that Howard should ''whip this lyin' whore's'' implants out because she lied about the whole thing and she won't even show Howard her implants. Sal the Stockbroker called in and told her that she was a ''dime-a-dozen'' chick and if he were Artie, he wouldn't be so crazy over her. He had been looking at her pictures on SalCalabro.com. High Pitch Erik also called in and told Howard to get her out of the studio if she's not going to get naked.
Howard wondered what might happen between Artie and Sonja. Artie says that he and Dana are still together but he would take her number just in case. Howard thanked Sonja for coming down and started to wrap up the segment. Then he found out that she would love to go to Scores with Artie and she'd mess around with other chicks. She has had some lesbian experiences in the past because she claims that women just flock to her.
Gary said a porn chick just showed up and said she'd be into doing just about anything. He wondered if they could hook the two of them up to do something. Howard wanted to do something with the porn chick but he wasn't sure what. KC came in and suggested that they send her down to the street and let her play ''Asses Up'' where they throw schlagger balls at her. Howard wanted to play some Anal Ring Toss instead. The porn chick came in a short time later. Howard spent a short time talking to her about her porn career.
Gary came in and told Howard they can't play Anal Ring Toss for two reasons. One reason is that Tom won't let them. The other reason is that the guy who invented it won't let them play it without being there. While he was explaining this the porn chick grabbed him. The porn chick then let Sonja come over and feel her implants. The guys were impressed with the way they looked and thought that they were really good. Howard told Sonja to kiss her but she held back for a few seconds. She eventually gave her a quick kiss. She also let the porn chick feel her up with her top on. Howard asked the porn chick to take all of her clothes off but she wanted something from them. Howard said he'd give her a plug or something. Gary said that Doug told him that she was willing to do anything for them but she really wasn't. Doug said that the guy who pitched her appearance told him that she would do anything.
Howard got the porn chick to take off all of her clothes. He said she had some body. Robin said her implants really looked natural. She said she had them done by a doctor by the name of Boulia (or something like that) out in Beverly Hills. Howard had the porn chick bend over to get spanked by the guys in the studio. Sonja was first up to spank her. She missed and hit the center which hurt the porn chick. KC told her to really give her some good whacks already. Howard wanted to go over and spank her himself. He and Artie both got up to go over and spank her as well. Howard had her repeat after him and had her saying ''Please master, may I have some more?'' Scott the Engineer came in and turned something on that made horrible noise in the middle of the whole thing. Howard got back to spanking and gave the porn chick some more spankings. They still hadn't said what her name was after all of this.
Howard was pissed at Scott the Engineer for screwing up the microphones in the studio. After straightening that out Artie spanked the porn chick. He had her saying ''I love fat guys!'' as he was spanking her. He had a switch that he was spanking her with. He was making her repeat after him and whipping her ass. Gary wanted a turn at spanking as well. He had her saying ''I'm a dirty little whore who takes money for sex.'' He only got in a couple of spanks before Howard suggested they get JD to come in and spank her. Howard said he never gets chicks like that. JD made her say ''I like guys with glasses'' and whacked her ass a few times. Howard told JD to give her another whack. Richard Christy showed up next with a boot in his hand. Howard didn't let him whack her ass though.
Howard let the porn chick get in a plug for her web site RhiannonBray.com and then wrapped up the segment. He thought that the porn chick, Rhiannon, was a better sport than Sonja was. Howard let Artie get a hug from Rhiannon and she seemed to be just as into Artie as Sonja was. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard said that he's heard that Nick is kind of difficult to work with. Nick said he can't be difficult if he's not even anywhere on the ''comedy radar.'' Artie said he doesn't have any problems working with Nick. They always have a good time together when they work a gig.
Howard read some stuff from the Imus cancer ranch where they tell the cancer kids about how they have to help out taking care of the ranch and the animals there when they go. The kids have to pitch in and work while they're there. The kids are dying and they have to work while they're at this place. According to this thing Howard was reading, the kids are not allowed to make phone calls and they can only take phone calls in an emergency. Howard read through more of the paperwork that makes it seem like a prison more than a fun place to be. They have guns at the ranch so they make sure to note that they're all locked up so the kids can't get to them.
Howard read a quick mention of how he is the most popular radio show host search on the web for the 4th year in a row. He then read some e-mail that he's gotten lately. Someone wondered who is in the audio clip that says ''Young, wet Bitches.'' Howard said it's George Takei. He read a few other e-mails after that as well. One person wrote in about Artie's drinking and how they're afraid we're going to lose him to the drinking. One writer said they lost their father to alcoholism.
An e-mailer asked Howard which Scores club is the best to go to. Howard said that he likes the West Side Scores because it's more convenient for him. Both of them are great though. He also likes the personal rooms at Scores West Side. Nick said he hasn't been there yet so Howard said he'll have to go with them sometime.
Howard gave Nick a plug for his new CD ''Road Rage'' that's coming out soon. It'll be available on NickDip.com. You can also find out where Nick will be appearing over at his web site as well. Howard then had Robin start her news. A short time later a caller told Howard that he was working at Rascals in Cherry Hill a couple of years ago and when he asked him for an autograph he blew him off. Then, later on, he heard Nick say ''Screw him that dirty Spic.'' Another caller said that Nick spit on his shoe after he spilled a drink on Nick's pants. It turned out to be Angry Black prank calling because he hasn't been on the show lately. Howard got him off the line and Robin got back to her news. They wrapped up the news and the show around 10:30 this morning.
Howard said he's been getting up at 3 in the morning every day this week and he hates it. He goes to bed around 9 o'clock and gets up at 3 for some reason. He's not sure what the reason is though. He went on to say that they have Vincent Gallo and Dave Chappelle coming in today as guests.
A phone caller told Howard that there is a sex tape out there with Pam Anderson and Bret Michaels in it. He picked it up at a flea market for ten bucks. Howard wasn't sure if he had seen that tape or not. Gary came in and told him that Howard did see it. Gary was deposed in a court case at one time because they had the tape in their hands. The guys kind of remembered that the tape wasn't all that great compared to the Pam and Tommy Lee tape. Artie wondered when the Artie and Pam tape would be out. Howard told him he might get her when she's 70 years old. The caller also asked how good the Gena Lee Nolin video is. Howard told him that it wasn't all that good because she had new implants and they didn't do all that much on the tape. The caller also talked about the Tanya Harding tape because he had that one as well. Howard and the caller both like seeing the celebrity tapes. Howard and the caller also like the second Paris Hilton tape that came out. Howard liked the quality of that one. The caller said there's a rumor that there's another one out there where she's doing lesbian stuff.
Double A called in and said the ''Restless, Restless'' song is stuck in his head after last night's E! show. He thought it was kind of creepy how Vinnie was singing along to the song when everyone was performing. Howard said he even hums the song once in a while. Double A said he was on the bulletin board last night and just couldn't get the song out of his head. Howard was on the bulletin board last night and saw that Jessica Hahn was on there and is on there quite a bit from what he can tell. He said that people were asking her if she's still hot or if she's hit the wall. Jessica claims that she's still hot.
Howard and Double A talked a little more about the E! show and how creepy Vinnie was during that whole contest. Howard didn't like the way he insulted Robert Goulet. Howard says if Vinnie wasn't so high up at CBS they probably wouldn't even talk to him. Gary came in and told the guys how he heard that Vinnie sent out a mass e-mail to the people at CBS telling them about the E! show and how it was a ''very special'' episode.
Another caller told Howard how creepy Vinnie was on the show last night because he was blowing kisses to the performers. Howard got a note from Vinnie telling him how that whole thing inspired them to get back together and start writing songs again. The caller also told Howard how the Miami station is still chopping up Howard's show and the guys who are on after him are bad mouthing him all the time. Howard said there are a lot of problems down in that area because there's a lawyer down there who is constantly filing complaints against the show. He said the guy is always sending him faxes asking him to debate him and stuff like that. He spends all day writing to the FCC and to the show. He invites the guy to file all he wants but that's why the station down there is chopping up the show. Howard doesn't get why so many people think that the language on his show is going to effect children.
Howard talked about Lenny Bruce and how he'd get a hard time over cursing in a club where people paid to see him. There's really not much difference between that and what's happening to Howard. He says that parents are supervised between 6 and 10 in the morning when they're getting ready for school. It's really at night when they're not supervised and that's when the kids are calling into shows like Love Lines. He said he has been offered a new contract by his company but he's not sure he wants to continue doing that there and he doesn't know if there's a future there. He's thinking of going to satellite as well but even that isn't definite. Howard said they could take care of all of this stuff if they put V-chips in radios.
A caller asked Howard what he thinks about the Wayans brothers making over The Munsters. Howard said you really can't recreate a show like that because it's a classic. The Munsters and The Addams Family were the two best shows ever made in Howard's opinion. He said they can only go downhill with that whole thing. He said that maybe it could work if they did a whole racial thing instead of the monster thing. But even that might not work. The caller also got Howard talking about George W when he asked a question about what he was doing when he invaded Iraq. Howard said that we have a nut job in office right now and we're all going to die. He pointed out how Bush always has that smirk on his face and doesn't know how people can stand seeing that all day.
Another caller told Howard how gay Vinnie and Tom came off on the E! show last night. The guy thought Robert Goulet was pretty cool with the whole thing though. There was also some discussion about how Cabbie has gained some weight since he's no longer a Trim Spa spokesperson. A woman called in and told Howard about the latest issue of Rolling Stone. In the magazine there is an article about Clear Channel and what they're up to. He decided not to talk about it on the air and bore his audience. He suggested just reading the article for themselves. Howard did read a little bit of the article where they talk about the head of Clear Channel, Lowry Mays, and his ties with George W. Bush. Howard knows that's why he was fired from Clear Channel when he started to come out against George W earlier in the year.
Howard talked about how he was out running around with his buddy yesterday and was asked what he thought the number one magazine was. Howard couldn't guess it but it turned out to be Glamour. That led to him talking about these men's magazines like Maxim and FHM that don't do serious interviews with the women in the magazine. He said he thinks that Rolling Stone is still the best magazine out there in his opinion. Gary came in and told Howard about some stuff about Clear Channel that he read in that article. The government it supposed to be stopping monopolies but Clear Channel sold more tickets last year than it's next 49 competitors combined. There were some other things about how Clear Channel ends up screwing the musicians that perform at it's venues. The caller on the line told Howard about how Florida is still messed up when it comes to it's voting process. They have some kind of touch screen voting machine that was tested but they found that the votes weren't counted correctly. Howard spent a minute on that before he had to take a commercial break.
Howard brought up how Rebecca Romijn-Stamos ended up choosing Jerry O'Connell to date after she and John Stamos split. Howard said even John is surprised that she went that direction. Howard read and e-mail he got from someone about how he was mocking Jerry O'Connell yesterday. The writer thinks that Jerry is basically a genius in Hollywood. The writer bragged that Jerry dated Ginger Spice but no one was impressed by that.
Another e-mailer was wondering when Sacha Baron Cohen's (Ali G) E! show is going to air. Howard didn't say when that would happen but Robin was very taken with him when he was in. There were more e-mails to go through but Fred threw in a song parody of ''Old McDonald'' where they took Aurora Show's duck-like choking and used it as the duck quacking sound effect in the song. Howard asked Fred to play some more of the duck sounds but he didn't have them. Gary came in and tried to find the tape for him but the tape he found was the wrong one. Scott the Engineer came in and said he had the tape the other day but he put it back where they had it. Gary told Howard that sometimes people take the tapes when they're not supposed to. That all led to Gary and Howard arguing about the whole thing. Howard told Gary he shouldn't go home until everything is organized there. Gary told him to get him a cot and he'd sleep there every night. They finally found the Aurora Snow tape where she's being choked and sounds like a duck. Howard replayed the ''Old McDonald'' clip as well.
Howard read some more e-mail after that. Someone told Howard to have Jessica Hahn on the show because she's always on the bulletin board talking about how great he is. Another e-mailer thought that Jenna Jameson didn't look so good on the E! show. The writer said she looked like the typical burnt out porn star. Another writer thought that Jenna sounded different as well. She does smoke a lot according to Howard so that could be why she sounds different.
Howard said that everybody liked the Tom Brokaw tape they played yesterday where he says the word ''Bukkake'' during a newscast. One guy wrote in and said he watched the newscast on the west coast and they must have edited the newscast because Tom said the name of the city in Russia just fine out there. Howard had a bunch of clips where they threw in that ''Bukkake'' clip. They used it in the Looney Tunes theme where Porky Pig would usually say ''That's all Folks.'' They also had him stammering to the Chicken Dance music and to the song ''I Want Candy.''
Howard said a lot of women are upset that they play those duck sounds on the air. They are freaked out by them for some reason. Another writer said that the clips they've been playing aren't even Aurora Snow, they're actually Anastasia Blue in a movie called ''Diabolical.'' Howard said they'll have to go back and double check to make sure it was Aurora because she was able to make the sound on the show yesterday when she was on.
Someone wrote in and congratulated High Pitch Erik for making the prank call to the Chinese restaurant where he kept going ''Oh Yeah!'' like Taylor Rain after every answer he got from the woman at the restaurant. People also liked Sal the Stockbroker's (HorseToothJackass.com) prank call to the religious woman where he used Ed Torian the lie detector test guy's voice to ask a bunch of questions. Howard replayed Erik's call and Sal's call after reading the e-mails about them. Howard went to break shortly after that.
Howard got a letter from someone who told him that his name is on some kind of prayer calendar. He is the focus of tens of thousands of people who pray for him every day. They were asking Howard to appear at this event where they would pray for him in person. Howard read through the letter and said that they gave him a number to call if he wanted to find out more. Howard said they may just have to make that call later on.
Howard said this guy Vincent Gallo once prayed for someone to get cancer and it worked. There were some other things that he quickly mentioned before Vincent came in and cursed on the air. Howard told him he can't use that word on the air and warned him about certain other words as well. Howard and Vincent went on to talk about an interview that Vincent did one time with the NY Times. They were supposed to let him see the final product and use a picture they supplied. The woman, that Vincent called a witch, made some changes so he ended up wishing cancer on her. Howard said that actually worked when he wished cancer on Roger Ebert and he ended up getting cancer. Gallo said that Ebert is a nice guy and it's nice to see him on a better diet now. Vincent called Ebert a fat pig after he got a bad review on a movie and then wished cancer upon him. On the Ebert and Roeper show they bashed this movie of his ''The Brown Bunny'' and really bashed it. Even Vincent said some stuff about the movie not being all that good. Vincent said he actually talked about how he made the movie for himself and it was kind of self indulgent.
Vincent Gallo got so upset with Roger Ebert about the things he said that he wished cancer upon him. Vincent said that many things that he has wished for, both good and bad, have actually come through. Vincent also went off on this guy up in Buffalo who calls himself Sandy Beach who has given him bad reviews.
Roger Ebert was on the phone to talk to Vincent about this whole cancer thing. Ebert said that he heard that Vincent has bad aim because he was trying to give him colon cancer but missed and gave him prostate cancer instead. Vincent and Roger have made up since the whole cancer thing but Vincent still dislikes the review he got from Roeper. It was a line about the movie being like a steaming pile of excrement is what got to him. Ebert said that he did see ''The Brown Bunny'' in 2003 and it was the worst film he'd seen at the time. Vincent has edited it since then and cut out 26 minutes of the movie. Ebert said he didn't miss one minute of it.
Howard asked Vincent what he thinks is the worst movie ever made. He heard that Vincent has even bad mouthed Robert De Niro. Vincent told Howard that he has inspired many bad actors and that's what he has said. He said Ed Norton is one of those clones. They were all over the place talking about other actors like Leonardo DiCaprio who Vincent once called the best looking chick around.
Roger told Howard that Vincent's comments about him really didn't bother him all that much. He knows that there are other actors out there who feel that way. Sean Penn once wrote him a letter defending one of his performances and he appreciated getting the letter from him because he was letting him know how he felt without just calling him names. Roger said you can see their review of Vincent's new movie on Ebert and Roeper this weekend. Howard let him go after that and got back to Vincent.
Howard talked to Vincent about how he likes feeling alone and won't get married. Howard believes that he doesn't really like women all that much although he does get laid a lot. There's a lot of controversy about his new movie because he has Chloe Sevigny giving him real oral in a sex scene. Howard just wanted to know if it was good oral. There were a few delay hits during this discussion so we missed out on some of it. Vincent did say that they did more than one take for the sex scene though.
Howard read through some of the notes he had about Vincent about how he screwed up his back so bad that he has trouble sleeping and has screwed up some relationships with some friends of his. He is friends with Johnny Ramone and kind of screwed up his relationship with him. Johnny is sick now and Vincent feels bad about that but he just didn't have enough time to spend with the guy.
Howard brought up some other names like Christina Ricci. Vincent has said some stuff about her being drunk on the set and how much better she was when she wasn't drunk. Vincent also said she was like a puppet and she did what he said when he made the movie ''Buffalo 66'' with her. He even called her the C-word. Vincent said she had a miserable publicist who wanted her to promote another film at the time instead of his movie. Vincent called James Cameron a pig at some point but even Vincent didn't remember doing that. He once called Quentin Tarantino an asshole. He motioned with his fingers that Tarantino smokes weed and said he does it all day and night.
Howard read that Vincent once made out with Darryl Hannah. Vincent said that was about all they did. He thinks she's really pretty but a little too tall for him. He also dated Paris Hilton. He said that she's the greatest and she's very sexual. He made a movie with her about 5 years ago and she looked great at the time. He said that she's the sweetest girl of all time in his opinion. Howard wondered why he didn't stay with her. Vincent said he just wasn't in love with her.
Howard asked Vincent about where he lives because he read that he refuses to leave the 300 square foot apartment he lives in now. Vincent said he owns about $7 million worth of real estate and lives in this 300 square foot apartment because he's been there so long. Howard wanted to get political with Vincent. He asked him about George W and why he's backing his administration. Vincent said there are some bright people in his administration but Howard couldn't believe that he was saying that.
Howard gave Vincent a plug for his movie ''The Brown Bunny'' that opens this weekend. Vincent told people to vote for Bush this November but Howard said that he wants people to vote for Kerry. The two of them differ on that stuff. Howard only spent a few seconds on that and then took some phone calls. A woman from Buffalo called in and got Vincent so pissed at her that he wouldn't stop with the S-word. Howard and Artie had to yell at him to stop. The delay was hit a couple of times during that. Howard asked Vincent about living up in Buffalo and about his parents who live up there.
Gary came in and told Howard that Vincent was a chronic masturbator when he was younger. Vincent said that he was actually arrested for that at one time when he was caught outside beating off. He tried to explain to Howard about what he did back then but the delay hits were coming left and right so we didn't hear much of this conversation. Vincent told the story about how he was caught by the cops beating off and how his father beat him for 9 days after that. He was told that he ruined the family so he was no longer allowed to be happy. After all of that Vincent never whacked off to any women out in public again. He said his mother never looked at him the same way again after that though.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said she doesn't know much about Vincent but she does kind of like him after reading about him. She was wondering what was up with him picking Cheryl Tiegs for his movie. He said making out with her was one of the highlights of his life. The guys also talked about Angelica Houston and how horrible she was.
Howard let a few more callers through. A couple of people had some nice things to say about Vincent. There were also a couple of people who don't like the guy and let him know. One guy told Howard to ask Vincent about Christina Ricci peeing on the set of the movie. Vincent said it wasn't on the set, it was at a restaurant in the middle of the floor. Vincent said that he heard from the crew members and the restaurant owner that she had done that but he didn't see it first hand.
Howard had Vincent go off on a few people that he hates. He had a whole list of about 10 people that he hates. He went off on all of these reporters and some other people calling them names. Vincent was also talking about a reporter from Page Six who he may just curse with cancer. He said it feels great to get that stuff out there and he would love to have a radio show where he could do that every day. Howard has wished cancer upon people in the past and has gotten into trouble with that. Most recently he wished cancer upon Lowry Mays and it seems to be working. Howard told Vincent that he can call in anytime he wants to wish cancer upon someone. He then started to wrap up the segment and gave Vincent a plug for his movie ''The Brown Bunny'' again. The movie opens this weekend and you get to see Vincent getting oral from Chloe Sevigny. Howard went to break after that.
Howard had to clear up the controversy over the duck sound they've been playing on the show. It turns out it really is Aurora Snow and not the woman that an e-mailer had claimed it was. Howard played a clip of Anastasia Blue and the clip of Aurora Snow to prove that they were right. Anastasia sounds similar but they know what they're talking about. Robin Radzinski came in a short time later and told Howard that Aurora's show is airing tonight on E!. Howard said we get to see her shove her hand down her throat in that episode.
An e-mailer had asked Howard why he's not into Asian porn. Howard then played a clip from an Asian porn movie and pointed out that she doesn't sound like she's really into it when she's moaning. Howard said that chick's name was Lucy Tai.
Howard played some voice mail that they've gotten lately. Hate lady has been calling in again leaving messages about how ugly Howard is standing next to his girlfriend. She also went off on him about his ''Q-tip-like arms'' and how he should keep them covered up along with his long neck.
Howard said there were some guys who were fired after they made some cracks about Governor McGreevey over a public address system. They played the song YMCA by the Village People and said they were playing it for the governor who had just come out of the closet.
Howard said he saw the movie ''Open Water'' and it turned out to be great. It was an independent film that was shot for $130,000 that turns out to be great. Robin was blown away by how great it was as well. Howard said the movie will make you mental when you see it. Howard siad it's like ''Jaws meets Blair Witch.'' The guys were also talking about the Emergency Broadcast System and how nothing happened with that during 9/11. Howard said no one gets fired over that even though it didn't work. He went off on the FCC about that for a short time as well.
Howard got a disturbing letter the other day about Joe Piscopo possibly running for Governor of New Jersey. Howard wanted to get Joe on the show and talk to him about that but now, the people who want him to run, don't want him to go on his show. Howard said he was asked to go to dinner with Joe and his wife but Howard says he will not do that. He wants to talk to Joe on the air, not out at a restaurant. Gary said he had Joe scheduled to come on the show until last night when they got the letter. Joe doesn't think Howard is going to take it seriously but they pointed out that Arnold Schwarzenegger did the show. A bunch of other serious politicians have done the show as well but Joe isn't going to do the show. Howard said he'll have dinner with Joe's wife Kimberly anytime though. He said he'd have her over to his apartment without Joe.
Howard quickly mentioned a list of 5 important things that make for great relationships:
Howard said his kids are really into Dave's show on Comedy Central and he brags to them that he knows Dave. Dave told Howard and Robin about how he had just spoken to Rick James about 2 weeks before he died. He does an impression of Rick on his show so Rick was in touch with him about that. Dave said that Rick asked him not to cover certain things about his life on the show. Dave said he first met Rick back about 10 years ago and saw him just hanging out at the front desk at a hotel talking to people.
Dave said he doesn't run characters into the ground so he probably won't do the Rick James thing much. Dave told Howard he doesn't know how he does the whole fame thing because it's crazy. Howard said he doesn't do it, he just hides all the time. Howard told Dave that he had to take a break before talking to him more. He gave him a plug for his upcoming Showtime special ''For What It's Worth'' which is coming in September. Dave is also going to be appearing on the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night. He's not hosting, just making an appearance.
Howard took a couple of phone calls including one from Rev. Bob Levy (revboblevy.net) who asked why one of his jokes ended up on his TV show. Dave said he didn't steal anything but Bob said it's his writers who are getting lazy and stealing his jokes. The joke was about going home to ''beat his dick like it owes him money.'' Dave said he and his writers don't steal jokes and arguing over that is crazy. Howard jokingly said that Rev. Bob Levy has been doing Rick James for years as well. He went to break right after that.
Dave said OJ came to this show one time and sat in the front row. He didn't want to freak anyone out at the show so he didn't mention that OJ was there. Then, after the show, OJ told him that he could have made fun of him if he wanted to. Dave said he wished he'd told him that before the show instead of after the show. Howard and Dave spent a couple of minutes talking about how strange the whole OJ thing is.
Howard said that OJ's kids have it rough because there's an article in the National Enquirer this week about how Sidney is going to college to ''escape'' from her father. Howard asked Dave if he would be willing to date someone like Sidney if he knew that OJ was going to be there if something went wrong. Dave had to think about it for a short time but said he would probably date her as long as he got to carve the Thanksgiving turkey when he went over to his house.
Howard talked to Dave about his TV show and how that works. Dave said he writes the show with one other guy. Dave said he apparently works with Bob Levy as well according to his call earlier. Captain Janks called in and said that he heard that Dave has been going around claiming that he invented the Howard Stern phony phone call as well.
Howard heard that Dave has converted to Muslim so he wondered what his Muslim name was. Dave said his name is still Dave Chappelle and he hasn't changed it. Robin asked him why he decided to go with that religion. Dave said he just picked it like others chose to be Jewish or Christian, he picked Muslim. Dave told Howard that they've talked about this stuff in the past already so he didn't seem to want to get into it again. Robin and Howard wanted to get into it again though so they kept on him for a short time.
Zolar called in and did his female impression asking Dave if he was banging black chicks. He broke into his very deep regular voice after trying to convince Dave that 'she' was willing to date him. Another caller asked how Dave gets away with doing some of the stuff that they do on his show. Howard said that's because he's on cable which is something that the FCC doesn't regulate at this time. Howard said it's a weird thing that he doesn't get but that's the way it goes.
Howard talked to Dave about hanging out with Eddie Murphy's brother since he works with him on his TV show. Dave talked about how strange the whole stand-up comedy thing is and how people like Eddie Murphy got out of the business. Dave said it's almost more fun to have the audience not know what you're going to do when you go on stage. Artie told him he loves disappointing the audience when he does stand up.
Howard gave Dave a plug for his upcoming Showtime special ''For What It's Worth'' which airs September 4th. He also talked to Dave about how he's changed over the years because now he has an entourage when he comes in. Dave said he just had one guy who does security come in with him. It wasn't an entourage. Dave spent a little longer talking about how tough fame is to deal with.
Howard took a phone call from a woman who wondered if Dave is dating. Dave is married so he is dating his wife. Gary came in a short time later and told Howard that Dave had to go. They had a car waiting for him. Howard wanted to know more about the group of people who came with him to the station this morning. There were a couple of publicists, the security guy and a couple of others. They went through all of that and then went to commercial break.
Howard said JD didn't get any hits but JD said he actually did get two hits. Luke told Howard that there were a few things that didn't make it into his article. He told Howard about how Jason ran the bases and almost passed out after running because he was so tired. Jason said that he is scared of the ball and he hate shaving them flying at him. Luke said that he was standing about 3 feet away from Jason bouncing a ball and Jason was backing away like he was afraid it was going to hit him in the face or something. Howard said that part is actually in Luke's article.
Howard heard that one intern was upset that his comments about Jason were removed from an article so there is some controversy about that. Howard said he doesn't want anything like that going on. He had Robin start her news after that. They wrapped up the show around 10:45am.
George the puppet ended up yelling at Otto about really sucking as a comedian. Howard said he loves when Otto just starts yelling as the puppet and doesn't even stop moving his lips for the ventriloquist dummy. Robin said he sometimes even forgets to move the dummy's mouth when he's talking as the dummy. Howard gave Otto and George a couple of plugs for upcoming appearances. They're appearing at Bananas in Elmsford, New York this Saturday and at The Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey on Sunday. You can also get their video ''American Dummy'' at MillerComedy.com.
Howard spoke to Artie's trainer, Naquam, for about a minute when he called in for some reason. Howard didn't spend a lot of time with him though and got back to Otto and George pretty quickly.
Howard told Otto and George that he's going to take them to Scores to get them some chicks. George (the dummy) said he got a lap dance from a fat chick one time and she erased his penis.
Gary came in and said that Otto used to dislike Andrew ''Dice'' Clay because he stole some of his material. Otto said it was more of the ''working dirty'' thing that ''Dice'' took from him. He said that Clay used to do John Travolta material and later started doing his dirty stuff. Otto said he used to do dirty nursery rhymes and had outgrown them. Then he heard that Clay was using them out on the West coast.
Howard changed subjects for a minute and talked about last night's ''The Bachelor'' that he's now addicted to. Howard said he stayed up until ten o'clock last night to watch it. He brought up how the Bachelor, Alex, pulled a kid up by his arm at one point and hurt the child. Howard said the guy didn't even apologize after he did it. Howard also said it looks like the guy might close the deal with some of the women on next weeks show.
Howard got back to his interview of George the puppet. He tried asking the puppet some questions. The puppet made a bunch of masturbation jokes and stuff like that. Howard also took some phone calls for them and let some people badmouth Otto and George. Howard also killed some time just doing other stuff while Otto and George were there. He read some e-mail they've gotten at the show lately.
After hearing a few phone callers say that they weren't funny, Otto said that he just didn't feel like he was on today. He said it felt too ''forced'' to him because he's used to cursing like crazy in his stand-up act. He said he thought Howard got pissed at him when he let a curse word slip at one point. Howard said he wasn't mad at him though. Howard told Otto that he was laughing at his stuff and he shouldn't feel that way. Howard told Otto that he has a really thin skin and he let one phone caller get him down. Otto said he's just not built for radio. He said he felt like he was going to be funny today but it wasn't coming across that way once he got on the show.
Everyone on the staff started telling Otto that he was being funny and they didn't understand where this odd behavior came from. Howard said he'll have Otto back so he can prove how funny he really is. He wrapped up the interview after that.
Howard said that he thinks she needs mental therapy because she seems to love chickens more than people. She defended herself and said that she has helped people in her life also. She was a teacher, a corrections officer and she ran an apartment building for elderly people. She was offended that Howard would say that she doesn't love people. Gary told Howard that she loves chickens so much that she missed her father's funeral to save some chickens. Howard said there's something really wrong with people who love animals more than human beings.
Howard and Karen argued over the value of a chicken's life for some time. Howard told Karen that he had chicken this morning for breakfast and it's a good source of protein. Karen says we don't need to eat animals though. She said she has lots of recipes for vegetable meals on her web site UPC-Online.org.
Howard took some phone calls and one guy told Karen that if she's eating vegetables then she's eating a living thing. She said that there are a lot less vegetables being killed than animals. She said the problem is with the people who are killing animals to feed people. Howard eventually told Karen that he wants to open up a Kentucky Fried Chicken place right across the street from her sanctuary. He also told her he doesn't think what she's saying is right but she has the right to say it. She thanked Howard for letting her get her web site out there too.
Howard got Frosty on the phone and let him explain in more detail what he does. Frosty said that he has a Goretex outfit that his friend covers with snow so he looks like a snowman. Then kids come over to him and cover him more without the kids even knowing he's in there. He then masturbates inside the suit. He said one time a kid may have caught him because the kid ended up throwing snowballs at him.
Howard asked Robin if this is morally wrong and if it's actually a crime. Robin thought that it was a crime and it's definitely morally wrong. Frosty said he hasn't touched any of the kids. Howard asked him if he prefers boys or girls. He said when they're dressed in winter clothing he can't tell them apart so he doesn't care about the sex of the child. Howard also asked him if he's gay. The guy said he's not into men or women, just kids and mostly just into himself.
Frosty said that during the summer months he'll throw a ''Frosty party'' with kids at his house. He said he turns down his air conditioning and has the kids over to play Nintendo games. He said he hasn't crossed that line YET where he touches kids. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said that the guy needs to get help. He said that it is illegal to masturbate in public and he can get in trouble for that. Dominic said he'd like to help this guy get some help because it sounds like he's very close to crossing that line.
Frosty, who lives in Colorado, said that now he's got to move because that one kid figured out his scam that time. Howard said he wants all parents to be aware of this nut and to keep an eye out for him.
Howard took a bunch of phone calls and let people yell at this guy about what he's doing. A couple of people who have been molested as children let him know how much he might screw up a kids life if he does molest them. A lot of parents also called in and said they'd kill this guy if they caught him doing this stuff around their kids. Howard ended up losing Frosty when his phone went to all static.
Later in the show Howard heard that this guy was a scam artist so that might be good news for the kids of Colorado.