Howard took a break and came back to start the ''Search For Chandra Levy'' with Cabbie. Gary came in and said that E! producer Issac refused to go down to Washington DC to do this thing because he thinks it's ''bad karma.'' Howard spoke to Issac about it and told him he was nuts. Howard pointed out that Issac has been on shoots where Wack Pack members have gotten screwed by porn stars but he refuses to go look for body parts. Howard also mentioned that Issac punches himself in his head when he gets bad thoughts in his head. Howard thinks he might have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or something if he does that. Issac said he has actually bruised himself punching himself. He says he sometimes does it to get women out of his head.
Howard got Lysa and Crazy Cabbie back on the phone and asked Lysa to start channeling Chandra so they could start the search. Lysa made sure to tell Howard that she was only sending messages from Chandra, she wasn't actually becoming Chandra. Cabbie is there to dig up any site that they search. Lysa also said they're going to have a real detective there so this is all done officially. Lysa also said that the description she gave out for the location last week may have sent the criminals who did this may have gotten to the scene already so the evidence may be gone. Howard let Cabbie and Lysa go off and do their thing and waited for them to call back. They started off at Chandra's home and they were going to try and find this place where parts of her are buried.
While Howard was waiting for more updates Howard talked about how ''Planet of the Apes'' was huge this weekend bringing in over $69 million. Robin also gave her review of ''America's Sweethearts'' which sucked according to her. She said that Billy Crystal should kiss Julia Roberts' ass because she's the only thing that made the movie draw in customers. She said that Catherine Zeta-Jones was awful in it and should have been thrown off the set of the movie. Howard continued their movie chat and talked about the other movies that have come out over this summer.
One listener told Howard he went to see ''Planet of the Apes'' because of Howard's review last week and now his friends hate him for dragging them there. Howard said he thought it was good and told people to see it. He said he does that once in a while and some people may not like what he likes. He said a good rental is ''Girlfight'' which Robin also enjoyed. It has this chick Michele Rodriguez in it and it was really good according to Howard.
Search Update 6:50am - Cabbie told Howard that this Lysa woman is kind of nuts. He said all she cares about is her book and her web site plugs. Howard asked her about that and she said she just wanted to make sure everyone knew what it was all about so she wouldn't have to answer e-mails about her book and web site. Howard gave her a plug and tried to get her back on the job but she was giving everyone a hard time. Lysa was at a police station trying to get someone to help them out there. Howard told her to just get to the scene and look for the evidence. Howard had to tell her that no one is going to believe her until she finds something. Howard said even he doesn't believe she's going to ever find anything because he doesn't believe in channeling.
Howard killed some more time talking about going out to see Stuttering John out at his beach house. Howard had a hard time getting there because he's so bad with driving directions. Then he goes for a swim and comes out of the water with crap all in his hair and his skin itching. He doesn't know what's in the water in the Long Island Sound but it can't be good.
Search Update 7:15am - Crazy Cabbie called in and told Howard he convinced Lysa to stop trying to get a cop to go along with them because they were still in Washington DC and they were heading out to Maryland to look for this ''evidence'' so it was pointless.
Howard continued to talk to Stuttering John about his beach. A bunch of people told Howard that there was raw sewage dumped into the Long Island Sound and that's what all of the crap was in his hair.
Howard went to see Bon Jovi over the weekend also. He took a couple of his kids and a few other people. He complained about the traffic going out to Giants Stadium where the concert was. Gary also said that he hates the traffic so much that he ended up putting his mother on a shuttle bus to get to Laguardia airport so she could fly home. Stuttering John found that hilarious for some reason. Then everyone jumped on him about it and goofed on him for sending his mother on a bus. Craig Gass' ''Sam Kinison'' jumped on his case and made some jokes about it.
Beetlejuice was hilarious as usual just saying things that made no sense at all to anyone.
Bill asked about President Bush's ''Star Wars'' missile defense and Beetlejuice said he liked that movie. Once again, Daniel Carver was the only one competent enough to answer the question with any type of understanding.
Howard wrapped up the segment after only 15 minutes. He said that Bill looked more disturbed by the whole thing than he's ever looked before. Howard congratulated all of the guests on the job they did answering the questions. He also let everyone give their plugs. Slow Adam has his own web site at SlowAdam.com. Sal the Stockbroker designed it for him so expect some weird, funny stuff to be there. Stuttering John said the one picture they have there has a caption of ''Slow Adam's Limo'' and it's a picture of a wheelchair. Beetlejuice (JollyDwarf.com) will be in the movie ''Bubble Boy'' which is coming out very soon. Bill Maher is in town shooting a special week's worth of ''Politically Incorrect'' concentrating on the mafia. And last but not least, Daniel Carver said you can get his 80 page catalog by sending $3 to him at:
Daniel Carver
PO Box 446
Oakwood, GA 30566
Howard got off of that whole thing for a while and took some phone calls. A listener brought up the Bon Jovi concert and how Howard was there wearing bright orange pants which made him stick out like a sore thumb. Howard spent a short time on that subject and then moved on to talk about Jerri from ''Survivor'' who appears in the latest ''Playboy'' magazine. He said she doesn't look good in the pictures but she is a good looking chick. He said in one picture it looks like she's got snot in her nose. Some of the other guys think she has ''flap jack'' boobs but Howard said it's just that they're real breasts and they're not used to seeing real boobs. He said all of the guys on the show are so conditioned to seeing fake breasts that when they see real ones, they look odd.
A woman called in and said that she saw Howard and his girlfriend at the Bon Jovi concert and she thinks that he could do better. Howard had to see what this woman on the phone looks like so he invited her down to check her out.
Search Update 9:15am - Howard got back to Crazy Cabbie once again and Cabbie said that Lysa's husband told them that the important thing wasn't that they find a body part today, it was important that they were ''there'' at the location because that's where something will be found. Lysa refused to get back on the phone with Howard because she was angry at him. Angry because she was ''put up at the Ritz Carleton Hotel'' as Cabbie explained. Howard said he figured Lysa would just toss something out of her own purse to make it look like they found something. Howard told Cabbie to get Lysa's husband on the phone so he ran and found him. Mr. Mateu didn't have much to add. He basically said what Cabbie had just told Howard a minute before. Howard called Cabbie back home and gave up on the search. He knew nothing would come out of it anyway.
Hank the Dwarf and Beetlejuice were both supposed to be in the ''Politically Incorrect'' segment this morning but the two of them got in a fight in the hall. Howard had tape of the argument that went on between the two of them and they both yelled at each other for a few minutes. Hank even ended up using the ''N-word'' as Howard put it. Beetlejuice sounded like he was ready to rip Hank's head off.
Howard wanted to find out what this was all about so he brought Beetlejuice back in the studio and he was yelling at Gary for some reason. He was still upset about the whole thing. Howard said he thought the two of them were friends but it's obvious now they're not. It seems to be an ego thing. They've both been in movies and they think they're big stars. They may just be jealous of each other or something. Beetle sounded like he was still ready to fight Hank right then and there but Howard wouldn't let that happen.
Howard eventually found out that Beetlejuice once threw a cake on Hank at a hotel room they were in. The reason he did it wasn't all that clear though. KC said that it all started after Hank insulted Beetlejuice's mother one time but Hank said he never did that.
As Howard was trying to wrap things up we found out that Beetle is working on a book. When asked what the title is going to be he said something like ''Topigoobie'' or something like that. He said that the book will be out on Wednesday. Comedian Craig Gass goofed on him about that for a couple of minutes doing his ''W.C. Fields/Edward G. Robinson'' impression. Howard had to end all of that fun to take a break so he gave each of them a plug and went to break. You can find out more about the two of them at:
Today Joe Rogan will be facing his own ''fear factor'' when he sees his old girlfriend Jerri Manthey from ''Survivor.''
Gary came in and told Howard how crazy last night's ''Fear Factor'' was. In the final stunt the people had to crawl out of a car that was filled with water... after getting a fake baby out of a car seat. Gary also mentioned the first stunt where they had people swinging from 100 feet in the air down thorough a wooden wall and then they had to drop a bean bag onto a target. Next week's show is a ''Best Of'' show where they're going to show the nastiest moments on the show so far. Last night people had to eat two giant, boiled buffalo testicles. Joe said he didn't eat those but he did try the sheep eyeballs that they had on another episode recently. He ate three himself.
Howard told Joe that he thinks they've managed to boil down the essence of ''Survivor'' into a one hour show and it may just ruin it for the ''Survivor'' people. In ''Fear Factor'' they get it all over with in one hour instead of dragging it out for months. They have 6 new people each week so you don't get sick of them. Joe also said that they have some really hot chicks coming up in the new season of the show which starts this fall. Joe said he has to avoid dating any of them though. He's afraid there might be legal problems if he were to date someone from the show.
Joe told Howard that the producers of the show want to create a special celebrity version of the show just for Howard and five of his crew. Howard doesn't need the $50,000 though. Howard was coming up with some possible ideas for the stunts they'd have to do. They had some gay ideas that would freak KC out. It sounded like Howard was just about ready to actually do this celebrity version. Gary said that he's really claustrophobic and he almost climbed out of an MRI machine one time. That led to everyone discussing the news story where a kid was killed yesterday when an MRI machine was turned on and a steel oxygen tank was attract4ed to the magnet in the machine and it ended up killing the kid.
Howard mentioned that it's the 20th anniversary of the thong bikini. He read an article that he had where they talk about the history of the thong. Joe Rogan said he doesn't really like the thong. He said that he likes a woman with a sun dress with no underwear on.
Howard got into a discussion about Jerri from ''Survivor'' and how bad the pictures are of her. Howard also remembered that on Friday night he felt the need to ''rub one out'' so he could fall asleep easier. He tried to get off to her pictures and it just wasn't working. He doesn't keep any porno in his apartment anymore since he's got the young girlfriend now. He then tried to get off to the movie ''Golf Balls'' but that didn't get him going either so he just gave up and went to sleep without masturbating.
Stuttering John came in and started to read an apology letter that AJ had written to him but he was reading it so poorly that Howard told him to just stop. Howard also got a lot of phone calls from listeners who just wanted AJ off the phone. Howard then moved along and played the Afroman song ''Because I Got High'' for everyone as he went to break.
Howard also told Jerri that he didn't like the ''artistic'' pictures she did for Playboy. He told her she needs to be more sensuous and not do ''nudie pictures'' that don't turn guys on. Howard said there was one picture in there that he actually liked where she's sitting on a rock.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for her and one guy was making like he was ''rubbing one out'' while he was looking at her pictures. He kept going for about 5 full minutes so Howard put him on hold and got back to him a couple of minutes after the initial call. He was still going by the end of the interview. Howard was impressed with his stamina.
Gary came in and told Howard that the guys were out in the green room with the door shut smokin' some weed before they came in. Howard spoke to the guys about what kind of pot they're into right now and they told him it's called ''Purple'' or something like that. Snoop told Howard that whenever they go to a radio station they smoke to ''mark their territory'' like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant.
Snoop also talked to Howard about his pimping and how he keeps in touch with his ''bitches'' through the internet also. He said since he can't hit them with his shoe, like he's said in the past, he said he has to hit them with some megahertz instead.
Howard brought in a drug counselor to see if he could talk to the guys about their pot smoking but it was a pointless conversation. Even the drug counselor knew that he couldn't stop these guys from smoking. He told them that they're looked up to by young kids and maybe they shouldn't be doing it but Snoop made a good point. He told the guy that he's not responsible for raising other people's kids so it ain't his problem. He said he chooses not to smoke in front of his own kids but he knows he won't be able to control them once they get old enough.
Snoop's 77 year old uncle Junebug was also there. Uncle Junebug said that he smokes pot with Snoop once in a while and he's been smoking since he was about 3 or 4 years old. Snoop said he started when he was about 16 and he didn't like it back then.
Howard ended up talking to the guys in Tha Eastsidaz about their lives in gangs and in jail among other things. One of the guys has been in a gang since he was 9 years old. A couple of Tha Eastsidaz have been to jail and even been shot so Howard talked to them about that for a little while also. One guy told Howard how he can make a weapon with just about anything. He said he can even make a gun out of a magazine with zippers and buttons as shrapnel.
Snoop was also promoting his new clothing line that's available in stores now and he's even got sneakers called Fizzles coming out. You can find out about all of that at his web site SnoopDoggRadio.com. You can also visit Eastsidaz.com for more info on those guys.
Howard played a clip from the new CD and took a couple of quick phone calls as he wrapped up the segment.
Comedian and host of ''Fear Factor'' Joe Rogan was sitting in again this morning. Howard and Joe had already been talking about strippers before the show started this morning. They shared some of their stories with us this morning. They talked about how some strippers give you attitude even though you're the one paying them to show off their stuff.
Howard said he finally saw Monday night's ''Fear Factor'' where the contestants had to eat buffalo testicles. Gary told Howard the producers of that show are sending over some of the testicles this morning. One of their interns will actually eat one for a prize if Howard wants him to. More on that later.
Ronnie the limo driver came in and talked about how Lonnie from Scores has taught him a lot about the strippers at the club. He knows how to treat them and talk to them now that Lonnie has taught him what he knows. Ronnie also said that all of these girls think that they're ugly. They also spend a lot of time at the plastic surgeon getting work done on their boobs. This led to a discussion about transsexuals and Joe Rogan told Howard he's seen a transsexual vagina and it looked nothing like the real thing. He was out in vegas and saw one and described it as a ''bat with its mouth open.'' Nothing like the real thing. Howard told Joe about some of the transsexuals who have been on the show and how they can't have orgasms anymore. Howard said some of them claim they can have orgasms but it's hard to believe. He also said that they leave the tip of the penis intact and try to pass it off for a clitoris which doesn't quite work.
Howard got back to talking about ''Fear Factor'' and said that he didn't think the final stunt was that hard where the guys had to save a baby doll from a car sunk in about 8 feet of water. He thinks he can do that. He's still thinking of doing a celebrity version of ''Fear Factor'' if they do it right.
This guy Henry, who took Howard's daughter to her prom this year, called in asking for Howard's help getting a date. He was looking for a Jenna Jameson date. Howard didn't want to talk to the kid about stuff like that though. He didn't feel right about the kid even listening to his show. He kind of wanted to hear about the prom and crap but he didn't want his daughter's private life on the air so he didn't allow it.
Howard spent a couple of minutes advising a 22 year old gay guy on how to tell his parents that he's gay. He related the experience to when he told his parents that he was getting separated from his wife. The guy may take Howard's advice to tell his parents. He said he was taping the interview to play back for them also.
Howard played Joe Rogan's weight lifter comedy bit that he's played many times in the past. It's the one where two guys are lifting and one of the guys does gay stuff to the other guy. The bit is off of Joe's CD ''I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday.''
Howard moved on from that subject pretty quick and took phone calls and did some other news stuff. He talked about how Michael Jackson is trying to get $2500 a seat for a reunion concert he and his family are in. Howard said they had a picture in the paper and there were about 50 people in line. Howard also had a bit that he played with Michael talking about the whole thing that was pretty funny. Howard said even Entertainment Tonight was goofing on how few people showed up to get tickets for the show.
Howard was talking to Sean about what else he's been up to working for the TV show ''Extra'' and the web site he's running now SurvivorSean.com. Then Howard said that Joe Rogan and Vinnie Favale had been arguing about the popularity of ''Survivor'' and ''Fear Factor'' during a break. The argument quickly got started again and the two of them went at each others throats. ''Fear Factor'' was the number one show this week and it's been picked up for more episodes by NBC. Vinnie, a CBS executive, argues that ''Fear Factor'' hasn't shown up on NBC's schedule yet so it's not really a hit show and it means nothing to NBC. Joe argued that they're in production and they're on the air now and it's become a huge hit over the summer, just like ''Survivor'' did. Joe argued that Vinnie is just a ''company man'' who can't deal with the fact that another network show is going to beat their shows when it airs. Howard let the two of them go at it for quite a while and it made for great radio.
Howard also pointed out how pissed Vinnie got about the ''David E. Letterman'' bit Howard did last week. Vinnie thinks that people thought it was really Dave and Howard should have made it clearer that it wasn't the real David Letterman who was doing racial jokes. Howard replayed some of that segment and Vinnie was still pissed. The guy that did the Letterman voice is amazing and sounds a lot like the real thing.
Howard wrapped up the segment and as they went out Joe made some comment about Vinnie being a ''company bitch'' or something like that. At least Joe is willing to let his real feelings out about this guy. He's not afraid to stand up for his hit show.
During the interview Ringo just wanted to get some plugs in for his album but Vinnie Favale kept asking dumb questions and inserting his own answers like he knew more than Ringo knows about himself. Ringo actually said he doesn't hate anyone but he was quickly learning how to the more Vinnie spoke.
Howard brought in another big fan of The Beatles, Andre. Andre is the guy who hits the delay button on Howard when he says something that might be considered ''dirty'' by the FCC. Howard was going to have a trivia contest between them but after a couple of questions Ringo was done with it. He just came in to promote his album and that's all he wanted to do. Howard kicked Andre out of the studio and wrapped up the interview a short time later. You can find out more about Ringo and his tour at RingoTour.com
Howard started off the show saying that comedian Jim Florentine was sitting in this morning. Jim's the guy who makes the great ''Terrorizing Telemarketers'' phone calls that Howard plays. Late in the show yesterday he played a great one where Jim drowns his grandfather while a telemarketer tries to sell him something. Jim told Howard some stories about how he and his buddy thought they'd had the cops called on them after they made that prank call. He said they heard sirens and thought the cops were coming for them. Howard joked it was a little known fact that Jim had actually killed his real grandfather in that bit.
Howard mentioned some of the stuff they had coming up this morning. He ran down a list of the guests they had booked and talked about some of the stuff they were going to do.
Howard said he'd like to sit down with Mariah and give her some advice on what to do. He thinks she needs a good psychiatrist that can help change her view of the world.
Howard went on to read an article about Mariah and how she accidentally cut herself on glass she broke before her mother had to call emergency services. He also played some of her album and said that it was just as good or bad as any other pop music that was out. He got bakc to the article and read through that too.
Howard mentioned that Mariah had to cancel out of the MTV 20th birthday party that was on last night. Howard said he had no idea MTV actually had a birthday show on last night. He saw some picture of the old VJs that were on MTV and spent a couple of minutes talking about how they all look these days.
Big Black called in with some audio from a couple of shows where Mariah Carey was acting oddly. He had tape from when Mariah's publicist once pulled a microphone away from her as she started to ramble on one time. It's all very strange stuff.
Howard told Lysa that he wanted to talk about the ''travesty'' that happened on Monday when Lysa and Crazy Cabbie went out looking for Chandra's body parts. Lysa wasn't interested in doing that though. She said she'd rather get some sleep this morning. She said talking about that stuff is boring to her and she didn't want to do that. She wanted to tell people about what's happening in the spirit world.
Howard kept talking about how Lysa wouldn't let Cabbie help out and look for Chandra's body parts when they got to the location where she says there are clues about Chandra. She says that she's got people on the case now and something will come out of it. Howard kept calling it a travesty and it just pissed her off. She said Howard was lucky she was even back on the show today after the stuff that was said about her on Monday.
Lysa said that they could have dug and searched on Monday but they didn't have equipment there to do that. She said they needed metal detectors and dogs to sniff around but she never said they'd need that stuff. She just assumed that they'd bring an army of people to do the searching. Howard said she was pretty brilliant in the way she got out of the situation. She stalled by going to the cops and by holding up the whole thing and then said that they'd have to search the waters around this area she found. It was a big bust and she won't admit it.
Howard tried to end the call by giving Lysa a plug but she was even upset with the way he presented that. He pointed out that it'll cost you ''...five HUNDRED dollars'' to get a sit down reading with Lysa. She was upset that he had to say ''five HUNDRED'' to the audience. Howard also said you can have your reading over the phone for a mere $300 and through e-mail for $60. Just visit her web site ChannelingSpirits.com for more information.
One guy called in and said that he wanted to belch for Howard and let out a bunch for him. Howard thought he was pretty good. He wondered what happened to the farters that they were having in there and why no one was coming in to try and beat the record.
Another caller said that he was finally getting FX on his cable so he would finally be able to see ''Son of the Beach.'' Howard said he had a meeting recently where they talked about FX coming to Manhattan and how great that was. The caller and Howard also talked about some pictures of Nina Blackwood that were in the paper. The caller said that she looked good. Howard said that she just happened to take a good picture apparently.
Howard said he was killing some time during a break on a web site called HowManyWouldItTake.com where you vote on how many beers it would take before you bang these chicks who are on the site. Howard said he would have banged most of them sober because they were pretty hot.
Howard and the caller talked about the movie ''Planet of the Apes'' and the caller ended up complaining about how expensive it is to go these days. Howard said it's only 10 bucks so he should be able to afford that. The caller said that it ends up costing more when you add up the tickets and dinner and all of that. Howard eventually hung up on the guy when he repeated his story.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about this NFL football player Korey Stringer who died of heat exhaustion during training yesterday. He said that the guy puked like 4 times during training and eventually passed out and died from heat exhaustion. He said as we all know, you're considered a ''pussy'' by teammates if you don't just keep going when you feel sick. Howard said that some of these guys just go full out and over do their workouts when they should be taking months to get up to speed.
Howard said Gary came in smoking a cigar first thing. He also had an amazingly low voice which also surprised Howard. He said since the Buddy Holly movie his voice seems to have undergone a drastic change. Gary said he can still get his voice up high and he proved it by singing a little Buddy Holly song for us. Howard didn't know that Gary sang all of the songs in the Buddy Holly movie either.
Howard questioned Gary about his religious beliefs and found out that Gary is now a ''Promise Keeper.'' According to Gary (Baba Booey) a promise keeper is like a white version of the Million Man March guys who have to teach other guys how to ''reconcile'' their lives. Busey tried to explain what he does to Howard but he got upset that Howard wasn't listening to him so he got up and walked over to Howard and stood next to him as he spoke to him. Howard said Gary was scaring him standing there and just wanted him to go back to the couch and sit down. After a short time Gary went back to his seat.
Howard continued the interview and asked Gary about whether or not he's getting laid these days. Gary said that he hasn't been with a woman for a while now and his womanizing days are over. When Howard asked him how long it's been since he got laid he pretended that he couldn't remember how long it had been. Howard tried to get him to give him an answer by offering him a prize but Gary said it was ''priceless information'' and wouldn't answer. Howard took a couple of phone calls and plugged the stuff Gary is appearing in as he wrapped up the interview. As Howard was ending the interview Busey ran over to Howard with his lit cigar and tried to burn his neck. Howard was screaming and Gary said ''I love Jewish screams...'' which was really bizarre.
Howard said Gary (Baba Booey) tried to pull Busey off of him but he couldn't because of the head-lock. They had video of the whole thing but there was no audio. Howard described it as they showed the tape. They all think the guy is a great guest but he'd nuts. Howard said his wrists got all cut up as Busey tried to escape his head-lock.
Howard asked Jim Florentine where he was at during that attack. Jim said they weren't able to pull Gary off of him because they didn't know that Howard had him in a headlock. Robin said her arm is tingling now and she'll need to go to the doctor for that.
Howard brought up a couple of news stories and spent some time talking about those. Dominic Barbara called in to get in on one of the stories. Dominic also asked if they were playing cards this Friday. Howard said he couldn't make it out to his house but they were having a game in the city.
Jim told Howard a story about how he and his buddy used to go to AA meetings to get chick's phone numbers. He said that you get everyone's phone number there just in case you think you're going to crack. He said they'd call these chicks at like 3 in the morning asking them to come over to help them get through it.
After trying to talk to these people without much luck finding out much, Howard moved on and tried to get Dina to do her puking. Jeff laid down on the floor and got completely naked and waited for Dina to puke on him. She ended up using a bag of fake vomit that didn't do anything for Jeff but Howard had a backup in place. They had a cross dresser by the name of Danny or ''Danielle'' who was willing to give it a try. Danny tried to puke also but he wasn't able to get anything to come up.
Howard was ready to end the whole thing but Jeff kept plugging his e-mail address WomenVomitOnMe@yahoo.com over and over again. Benjy came in and offered to puke on the guy but Jeff said he doesn't get off when guys do it to him. Then, out of nowhere, Danny puked on Jeff and grossed everyone out. The smell was so bad that Howard told KC to get everyone out of the studio or else he'd be throwing up himself. Howard then ended the segment and took a break.
Jim said he talks about having big balls in his stand-up routine and it one time led to having sex with a woman in a comedy club kitchen. He said this woman wanted to see his big balls so he showed her. She grabbed them and they ended up having sex after he wrapped his pecker with Saran wrap.
Another guy called in and told Howard how Jim will bang a fat chick now and then. He told a story about Jim picking up this really fat chick on a beach somewhere. They took this fat chick back to a hotel room and the guy on the phone saw the fat chick take off her thong. He said she had a huge skid mark going from front to back and he turned it over so Jim wouldn't see it. For some reason Jim picked it up, put it on his head and said he was Rambo. Then he caught a whiff of the skid mark. He ended up asking her if she'd stepped in shit or something. He didn't realize the stink was coming from the thong he was wearing on his head.
Sahvanna is also a stripper so she has combined both of her talents into one thing. She charges people to lap dance them while she gives them a reading. She charges $500 just like Lysa Moskowitz-Mateu does but at least you get a lap dance while you get your reading.
Sahvanna told Howard that the woman they had on earlier, Lysa, is wrong about the Chandra Levy thing. Sahvanna said she received word from her dead grandmother that Chandra is actually alive and in Spain hiding out. She claims that Chandra is hiding because she refused to get an abortion when Gary Condit's people asked her to do so. So once again, we'll wait to find out if either of these ''psychic's'' turn out to be real.
Howard had Sahvanna give KC a quick lap dance/reading so we could get a taste of that. She doesn't get nude during her readings though. She wears a bikini and rubs her ass in your lap. She did that to KC and told him that he's going to inherit about $175,000 from a dead relative who he doesn't know very well. Good news for KC who's just about homeless. You can get more info on Sahvanna at ThePsychicStripper.com
Howard said that they gave Sal some tickets to go to a baseball game with Gary and he was on the phone to talk about that. Sal said that he's going to get dressed up and go on the Baba Booey Safari with him. Gary asked Sal if he had gotten a job yet because he heard he was out of work for about 6 months or so. Sal said his job is to take care of Gary at the game. Sal said he'll be dressed up like the Crocodile Hunter when he hangs out with him at the baseball game.
Sal told Howard that he slo-mo'd the AJ Benza punch from last week and he noticed that Gary's teeth came out of his mouth kind of like the Alien does from people's chests during the Alien movies. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go. Robin got back to her news and went through a bunch of other stories. Howard took some phone calls during the news and talked to a kid who was supposed to send in some pictures of his mother for Howard to check out. The kid said he mailed them but Howard hadn't gotten them yet.
Howard had Robin finish up her news and ended the show around 9:50am (Master Tape Theatre time).
Howard read the news this morning and said he didn't know how bad Mariah Carey really was before she went into the hospital. She's apparently had an ''emotional and physical breakdown'' according to reports. Robin said she felt so bad she didn't even know if she wanted to talk about her. That didn't stop Howard though. He said he feels bad for her but he ended up talking about her for a little while. He thinks that she's working too hard to try and make people love her. Howard said you can't do that. You just do what you do and if people don't love you anymore, move on. He said he thinks she needs to find something that she can enjoy in her own life and relax. Howard went on to read an article about Mariah and how she accidentally cut herself on glass she broke before her mother had to call emergency services. Howard mentioned that Mariah had to cancel out of the MTV 20th birthday party that was on last night. Howard said he had no idea MTV actually had a birthday show on last night. He saw some picture of the old VJs that were on MTV and spent a couple of minutes talking about how they all look these days.
Big Black called in with some audio from a couple of shows where Mariah Carey was acting oddly. He had tape from when Mariah's publicist once pulled a microphone away from her as she started to ramble on one time. It's all very strange stuff.
Lysa said that they could have dug and searched on Monday but they didn't have equipment there to do that. She said they needed metal detectors and dogs to sniff around but she never said they'd need that stuff. She just assumed that they'd bring an army of people to do the searching. Howard said she was pretty brilliant in the way she got out of the situation. She stalled by going to the cops and by holding up the whole thing and then said that they'd have to search the waters around this area she found. It was a big bust and she won't admit it.
Howard tried to end the call by giving Lysa a plug but she was even upset with the way he presented that. He pointed out that it'll cost you ''...five HUNDRED dollars'' to get a sit down reading with Lysa. She was upset that he had to say ''five HUNDRED'' to the audience. Howard also said you can have your reading over the phone for a mere $300 and through e-mail for $60. Just visit her web site ChannelingSpirits.com for more information.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about this NFL football player Korey Stringer who died of heat exhaustion during training yesterday. He said that the guy puked like 4 times during training and eventually passed out and died from heat exhaustion. He said as we all know, you're considered a ''pussy'' by teammates if you don't just keep going when you feel sick. Howard said that some of these guys just go full out and over do their workouts when they should be taking months to get up to speed.
Howard said Gary came in smoking a cigar first thing. He also had an amazingly low voice which also surprised Howard. He said since the Buddy Holly movie his voice seems to have undergone a drastic change. Gary said he can still get his voice up high and he proved it by singing a little Buddy Holly song for us. Howard didn't know that Gary sang all of the songs in the Buddy Holly movie either.
Howard questioned Gary about his religious beliefs and found out that Gary is now a ''Promise Keeper.'' According to Gary (Baba Booey) a promise keeper is like a white version of the Million Man March guys who have to teach other guys how to ''reconcile'' their lives. Busey tried to explain what he does to Howard but he got upset that Howard wasn't listening to him so he got up and walked over to Howard and stood next to him as he spoke to him. Howard said Gary was scaring him standing there and just wanted him to go back to the couch and sit down. After a short time Gary went back to his seat.
Howard continued the interview and asked Gary about whether or not he's getting laid these days. Gary said that he hasn't been with a woman for a while now and his womanizing days are over. When Howard asked him how long it's been since he got laid he pretended that he couldn't remember how long it had been. Howard tried to get him to give him an answer by offering him a prize but Gary said it was ''priceless information'' and wouldn't answer. Howard took a couple of phone calls and plugged the stuff Gary is appearing in as he wrapped up the interview. As Howard was ending the interview Busey ran over to Howard with his lit cigar and tried to burn his neck. Howard was screaming and Gary said ''I love Jewish screams...'' which was really bizarre.
During the following commercial break Gary did some odd stuff. Howard came back from break and described what happened. According to Howard Busey bear hugged Robin and lifted her off the ground a few times. Then he took her down and laid her on the floor and proceeded to dry hump her. The guys pulled him off of her and Gary then went after Howard. Howard wasn't going to be taken down so he ended up holding onto Gary's head in a head-lock. He wouldn't let go because he didn't know what the guy was going to do. Howard said Gary (Baba Booey) tried to pull Busey off of him but he couldn't because of the head-lock. They had video of the whole thing but there was no audio. Howard described it as they showed the tape. They all think the guy is a great guest but he'd nuts. Howard said his wrists got all cut up as Busey tried to escape his head-lock.
Jim said he talks about having big balls in his stand-up routine and it one time led to having sex with a woman in a comedy club kitchen. He said this woman wanted to see his big balls so he showed her. She grabbed them and they ended up having sex after he wrapped his pecker with Saran wrap.
Another guy called in and told Howard how Jim will bang a fat chick now and then. He told a story about Jim picking up this really fat chick on a beach somewhere. They took this fat chick back to a hotel room and the guy on the phone saw the fat chick take off her thong. He said she had a huge skid mark going from front to back and he turned it over so Jim wouldn't see it. For some reason Jim picked it up, put it on his head and said he was Rambo. Then he caught a whiff of the skid mark. He ended up asking her if she'd stepped in shit or something. He didn't realize the stink was coming from the thong he was wearing on his head.
Sahvanna is also a stripper so she has combined both of her talents into one thing. She charges people to lap dance them while she gives them a reading. She charges $500 just like Lysa Moskowitz-Mateu does but at least you get a lap dance while you get your reading.
Sahvanna told Howard that the woman they had on earlier, Lysa, is wrong about the Chandra Levy thing. Sahvanna said she received word from her dead grandmother that Chandra is actually alive and in Spain hiding out. She claims that Chandra is hiding because she refused to get an abortion when Gary Condit's people asked her to do so. So once again, we'll wait to find out if either of these ''psychic's'' turn out to be real.
Howard had Sahvanna give KC a quick lap dance/reading so we could get a taste of that. She doesn't get nude during her readings though. She wears a bikini and rubs her ass in your lap. She did that to KC and told him that he's going to inherit about $175,000 from a dead relative who he doesn't know very well. Good news for KC who's just about homeless. You can get more info on Sahvanna at ThePsychicStripper.com
Howard said he saw some of the MTV 20th birthday party last night. He said seeing some of those people from the old days on MTV was really disturbing. Some of them have aged well but there are some who just looked horrible. He said that Kid Rock did the most boring set he's ever seen and blamed it all on Pam Anderson for some reason. He also brought up Jon Bon Jovi who went into his southern-drawl accent when he wished MTV a happy birthday which he found pretty funny. Other than that Howard said the show was pretty boring to him.
This guy Phillippe called in this morning. He claims to be president of the Mariah Carey fan club. He and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about Mariah's breakdown and how sad it is. Howard said he really does like Mariah even though they've been making fun of her web site phone messages in recent months. Phillippe turned out to be a phony but Howard didn't realize it until he said his father ran over his mother and killed her with their tomato sandwich delivery truck. Howard said now that Mariah is out of commission it might be time to become a Madonna fan.
Howard brought up yesterday's very strange interview with Gary Busey. He ended up talking about how Gary Busey dry humped Robin and how he just couldn't understand why he was doing it. (Read it in yesterday's archives). Howard said he has no idea where Ronnie the Limo Driver was. Ronnie has become Security for the show in the past couple of years but he was nowhere to be found yesterday. Robin ended up hiding in the green room with the guy who came in to get vomited on. Some people are wondering if what Busey did is any different than what AJ Benza did to Stuttering John. Howard said what Gary did wasn't as vicious as what AJ did so it wasn't exactly the same type of ''attack''. Howard had a new song parody about AJ that he played around this time about AJ being absent from the show.
Ronnie the Security man came in and tried to defend himself but he just ended up getting really pissed off and he sounded more angry than any guest that's been in the studio recently. He said he's been told to stay out of the studio by KC. He said he thought Busey was just kidding around with Howard so he didn't feel it was necessary for him to do anything. From now on he's going to be in there though. Meanwhile, Fred just walked out of the studio and went to the bathroom during Gary's attack on Robin. He said he'd seen it happen so many times before that he didn't think anything of it at the time.
Howard talked to Jonathan about growing up as a young-kid-look-alike and how hard it was in school. He got beat up and goofed on the whole time he was in school. The first time he got laid he had to get a chick drunk and she told him if he ever told anyone she'd kill him. Jonathan said he's got 6 brothers and sisters and they're all normal height like 6 feet tall. He got the short end of the stick so to speak. He told Howard he has pubic hair below his waist but he's got nothing above. He said he's going to the doctor to try and get some facial hair but Howard told him not to bother.
Howard took a call from a woman by the name of Melissa who said she'd screw Jonathan if Howard can get her 21 year old virgin brother laid for her. She also asked for breast implants. Howard spoke to her for a few minutes and found out she's 25 years old, 5'3'' tall with a C-cup breast. After finding out she was really willing to screw this guy Howard agreed to let her come down to the studio next week. He gave her a choice though. He said that if she screws this guy she can either get free implants or get her brother laid at the Bunny Ranch. She said she has to talk to her brother about it but right now it sounds like she's going for the implants. She said her brother doesn't want a whore. Jim Florentine told her that the brother probably does want a whore even if he says he doesn't... just because he hasn't gotten laid yet.
Dr. Sal Calabro (SalCalabro.com) called in and said that he's willing to give this woman her implants like he's done for so many other women on the show. Tune in next week to find out if Jonathan can actually get laid.
Billy took a few seconds to tell Beetlejuice what an inspiration he is to him. It was hard to tell if he was kidding or not though. He sounded sincere but it was a very disturbing sounding sincerity. Fred played sad piano music in the background as the guy spoke to Beetle. Beet just took it all in and said they could hang out and go to a go-go bar tonight. Howard started to wrap things up with the guys but this guy Tony called in who does a good job of getting Beetle wound up. Tony talks crap about Beetle and tries to get him all pissed off but it wasn't quite working that well this morning. He did get Beetle a little pissed but not as bad as he's gotten him in the past. Beetle was just as funny as he usually is though. He just says stuff that isn't true and it's always entertaining. You can get more info on him at JollyDwarf.com
Howard went on to talk to Joey about his role on ''The Sopranos'' as well as his tough life. Joey shared stories about his father being in the mob and how he spent 20 years in prison because of the crimes he'd committed. He said his father later went on to become a hard working man after his prison stay. Joey also talked quite a bit about his controversial character on ''The Sopranos.'' His character was the guy who raped and punched the stomach of a pregnant woman which led to a lot of controversy about showing that kind of thing on television. Joey said they were just showing how people perceive things because they kill guys on the show all the time and that's okay. Then you rape and punch a pregnant woman and that's all wrong.
Howard got Mike Walker from the National Enquirer on the phone and spoke with him for a few minutes. Mike let Joey know what a big fan of his he is. He mentioned a bunch of the movies that Joey has been in and how great an actor he really is. Howard then moved on to play the Gossip Game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Everyone ganged up on Gary when Howard suggested that he get a housekeeper like Stuttering John did so he can go out on weekends. Everyone was making fun of Gary because he has to help out around the house a lot even though his wife doesn't really work. He defended himself saying that he wants to help out around the house and he doesn't mind getting up at 7am on weekends to take care of the kids while his wife rests. John told Gary how he has a housekeeper that comes over on Friday night at 6 and doesn't leave until 11am on Saturday. That gives him and his wife time to go out and party on the weekends while the housekeeper takes care of the kids. Howard told Gary he's completely ''whipped'' and he really needs to get out more.
Gary is going out tonight. He's taking a bunch of listeners to a Yankees game. One of those listeners is Sal the Stockbroker who came in for a quick visit today. Sal has plans to goof on Gary all night. He had on a t-shirt that says ''Monkey Patrol'' on it and he was dressed up like that Crocodile Hunter guy. He'll be the ''Monkey Hunter'' at tonight's game.
Gary set his sights on Stuttering John after being goofed on for too long. He wondered what John's work hours are because he usually just leaves after the show. John said he usually has nothing to do after the show and he leaves around 11 or so. Gary says he shortened his hours without telling anyone and he wanted that straightened out. Howard didn't let this argument go on too long. He made John's hours 5:45am to Noon and that was that. If there's nothing to do John said he'll just sit there and stare at a wall if that's what Gary wants him to do. Gary said there's always something to do around the office but John just doesn't ask him. Howard told Gary he's got to tell John what to do or he'll just sit and stare at the wall. John's not motivated to do much of anything so he has to be told what to do.