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Howard said he used to call Nick and talk to him about these kids he was having. He said he worked with him at America's Got Talent and he'd call to congratulate him on the birth of his child. He said by kid 5 it was getting weird so he stopped calling. He said they'll be talking to Nick later this morning.
Howard said he was so busy with his brother in law and his wife and kids. He said they were spending a lot of time together. He said they had the Easter thing going on with the eggs and stuff. He said they it was all of that. He said Beth's parents were over too. He said everyone was celebrating Easter. He said he was staring at a box of Matzo. He said the Jews have Passover. He said they were talking about it. He said it's no wonder everyone in this country is Christian. He went through Passover and the story behind that. He said it's depressing. He said it's basically God punishing by raining blood and killing the first born and plagues of locusts and all of that. He said then there's Matzo which is bread without any fun.
Howard said then you have Easter where a bunny is laying eggs all over. He said if you're looking for more people you don't celebrate with matzo and horseradish. He said give them chocolate eggs and a bunny.
Howard said his cousin Ritchie is very devout. He said he called and told him he has to eat Matzo. He said he told him to eat as much as he can. He said he didn't have any around and he didn't even know it was Passover. He said he called him out of the blue and told him to eat Matzo because it's bad luck if you don't. He said he was telling him about all of these blessings you get if you eat it. He said his wife saw he was miserable when he got off the phone. He said he told Beth what he just told him and it gets in his brain even though he doesn't really believe in any of this stuff. He said his wife ran out and got him a box of Matzo. He said they sat and munched on it. He said he knows he's mentally ill. He said Beth didn't know that. He said he told her that he didn't tell her that because he didn't want her running away. He said he can't tell her he's mentally ill.
Howard said they both ate the matzo and that took away the fear. He said that he has this OCD thing and Beth once told him not to put his shoes on a table or it'll bring you bad luck. He said he didn't know if that was a real thing or not. He said it's still in his head. He said Ritchie told him it's good luck to have Matzo. He said apparently the Jews never had anything bad happen to them.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mark Wahlberg. Mark was going off on him about not talking about Easter. Howard said they had chocolate eggs and he had a good time over the weekend. Mark asked Howard to do a prayer with him and things like that. He was really worked up. Howard said he has to get going. He said he's sure he's busy today. Mark was working out and said he has to get to more dead lifts and things like that. Howard let Mark go and said he's like Pat Robertson with abs.
Howard said they had fun with the kids on Easter. He said they didn't do the hide the eggs thing. He said Beth had things they were doing. He said they had fun. He said her parents came over too. Robin asked if anyone tried the Matzo. Howard said no. He said it feels like a punishment when you eat it. He said it's not as fun as what's going down with Easter. He said it's not a good selling point if you're trying to convince someone.
Howard said they called it Southern New England and he thinks they thought they were in the south. Howard's microphone cut out completely for a few seconds. Howard said he was trying to control the volume of the song. He said he lost his train of thought.
Howard said he was sitting at his desk singing this Pat Travers song. He said it was one of the songs he played all the time on his show at WCCC. He said it was a pretty good song. He played some of that. He said that was a song he'd play 2 times a show. He said he wondered where he was living. He said he was an hour and change outside of New York City and that's what they were listening to. He said it was strange. He said he had a lot of learning to do up there. Howard said this was an anomaly. He said it was a great song to shoot beer cans to. He said he's not sure why the song popped into his head.
Howard said he went on a web site for WCCC. He said it was for guys who used to work there. He said it was always guys who didn't work there when he was there. He said he did know one guy named Brian Battles. He said he didn't know anyone else there. He said he got bummed because the place doesn't exist anymore. He said it's a religious station now. He said it used to be one of the greatest rock stations. He said not anymore. He said the rock stations are just gone now. He said they had another station that they wanted to destroy up there. He said they didn't beat them all the time.
Howard said this caller says the song is about the guy punching out his girlfriend. He took the call and the guy said that's what the song is about. Howard said he didn't know that. He said he thought boom, boom was sex and out with the lights is what they do. Fred said this guy is right. He said it's actually a cover song and it's an old blues song. He said he did cover it. He said it's about physical violence and it's pretty intense. He read some of the lyrics. Howard said no wonder it's OJ's favorite song request.
Howard played the song again. He said that's fucked up. Fred said when you play the live version of it the audience is singing along with it. Howard said he had no idea that's what the song was about. He asked Fred to play the live version. Fred got to the point where the audience was singing along.
Howard said these guys were like the Beatles up there. He said this is all they played. Fred said it takes 2 minutes to get into the song. He kept the song going and got to the point where the audience sang the ''out go the lights'' part.
Howard said he remembers getting up there to his job and he was comparing himself to the other DJs. He said he heard that song and other southern rock songs. He said he wondered where the fuck he was going. He said he felt like he was in the Twilight Zone. He said he wishes someone told him what that song was about. He jokingly said he and Beth made it their first song at their wedding.
Fred said it was shocking when he realized that's what the song was about. He said it's like Hey Joe. Howard said that's enough of him.
Howard said on Sunday nights he bums out because they have to do the show on Monday. He said it feels like he's going to school.
Howard said the song ''Run for your Life'' by the Beatles is about the same thing. He said someone told him that a long time ago. He said he doesn't believe it though. He said people make up shit about rock and roll. Fred played that for him too. Howard listened to the lyrics. Fred threw in some OJ clips while that song was playing.
Howard asked why these killing your woman songs are so catchy. Robin said they used to go around singing these songs about shooting girls and things like that. Howard said it turns out 90 percent of songs is about beating up women.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks he's wrong about the southern rock thing. Howard said it wasn't a southern rock station but they played a lot of southern rock in his day. He said it was very weird. The caller said that he grew up with WCCC and the other station rivalry. Howard let that guy go. He said that he never said it was a southern rock station. He said he was just talking about when he was there. He told Gary to cancel that guy's subscription.
Howard read some of the feedback he got about that and asked Ronnie if he changed his mind. Ronnie said they're still doing it. He said he's not making her do anything. He said this is what she wanted. Howard said he said he was bitching about the cost and she was going to pay. Ronnie told him to worry about his life and he'll worry about his own.
Ronnie said that Stephanie isn't doing what Howard said she's doing. He said she's working in a corporate job now and she's making good money. He said she's making almost 100 grand a year. Howard asked why he's still making her pay. Ronnie said don't worry about it. Howard said he has to worry about it.
Howard said he was showing a picture to his family and someone told him that Vegas is running out of water. Ronnie said they're not running out of water. Howard said it was in the news that they have to ration the water out. He said it's happening in Arizona too. He said you can pay more for water than you do for gasoline. Robin said that's what living in the desert is. Ronnie said that his water bill is half of what it was in New York.
Howard said everyone was talking about Ronnie over Easter. He said that his brother in law was asking about him. He said that he asked if he lived in a shithole there in New york. Howard said he told him that he had a nice house there. He said that he went to Vegas and got himself a big spread out there. Howard said he has a nice house out there. He said he upped his lifestyle. He said he was complimenting him. He said he told his sister in law that he's 73 and his wife is 35. Ronnie said she's 40. Howard said his sister in law wanted to see and he showed her a picture of Stephanie.
Howard said he told her that he's making her pay for half the wedding. Ronnie said yeah, he's holding a gun to her head. Howard said this was the thing. He said he told her about all of that. Ronnie said talk to Stephanie about it. He said it was their idea to do this together. He said they sat down and talked about it. Ronnie said they're doing it the way they want to do it. He said he's sure there are other people on the show who have had the same thing.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bernie Mac who went off on Ronnie about being so cheap.
Howard read through more of the feedback where people were going off on Ronnie about making Stephanie pay for this wedding. He said King of All Blacks had a strong take on this too. He played a clip where King was talking about this situation. He said he thinks the reason is that he's only halfway into the wedding. He said Ronnie is in denial. Ronnie sarcastically said he's so right. Howard said OJ wrote in and said he's right for making her pay for it.
Howard said the other thing is the wedding vows. He said some people wrote in about that. He read through some feedback about that.
Howard said Ronnie has to stop being such a hard ass. He said he has to open up. He said he thinks it's macho to act like this. Ronnie said keep talking and he'll listen. Howard said he knows he thinks he's a hard ass tough guy. He said when it comes to a woman who will marry you maybe you have to act a little bit romantic. He said you can drop the hard ass thing. He said he can get up there and talk about what he loves about her. He went through that whole thing with him again. He said he should open up to her like he opened up his asshole to her.
Howard said his shrink should be telling him this stuff. He said he has to let her know how he really feels. Ronnie said he said it so now he doesn't have to say it. Howard said he does have to say it. Ronnie said he's just going to record this and replay it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's into Ronnie's attitude. It was one of the guys doing a woman's voice and talking about how hot this is to her.
Howard said there you go. He said Ronnie got a lot of feedback from the fans. Howard said Ronnie and Mike Pearlman were going at it last week. He said someone wrote in about how Mike Pearlman can't say the word ''hypnotize'' and he says it ''hypmotize.'' He said he went back and listened to it and they're right. He played a clip of him saying it as ''hypmotize.'' Robin said she didn't even notice that. Ronnie said how exciting.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he does love Ronnie and he loves to bust his balls. He said he does understand where he's coming from. He went over how he feels about that situation. Howard let King and Ronnie go back and forth on that for a minute.
Howard had Mike come on to talk about his ''hypmotize'' thing too. Mike said he knows he's saying it wrong. He said it right for him too.
Howard asked what Mike thinks about Ronnie having his wife pay for it too. Mike said it's fine if you're a young couple starting out. He said he's not sure what Ronnie's financial situation is. He said he doesn't know. He said he's sure he's spending a lot of money. He said that's the kind of thing they have to work out. Howard said he was just trying to help. He said Ronnie is taking it the wrong way.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mike Pearlman. Fake Mike was talking about the wedding thing and saying ''hyposism'' and messing up that word. He was giving Ronnie some advice too.
Real mike asked Ronnie why he has to listen to those Scott Schmaren tapes if he has nothing going on in his life every day. Ronnie told him not to worry about that. He said he can worry about his own shit. Howard said he never even thought about that. He said he's not sure what he's worried about in his life when he has nothing going on. Ronnie said don't worry about it. Howard asked if it's the stress of the wedding. Ronnie told him not to worry about it. He said he has anxiety.
Howard asked if the tapes work for Ronnie. Ronnie said they do. He said he's very calm, can't you tell? He said he's been doing that for a couple of years now. He said he listens and then passes out and when he gets up he's fine.
Howard asked if the tapes are actual tapes. Ronnie said it's on his phone. He said he has two of them. He said that it's stuff he puts out.
Mike was asking questions and Ronnie said this guy doesn't care. Mike said he cares about him. He said he's worried and he's just asking questions. He said he's busy watching NYPD Blue reruns and things out there. He asked what he's doing out there.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he has to defend Ronnie here. He said usually the bride and her family pay for a wedding. He said she's lucky he's paying for anything. He said you pool your resources. He said that's what they're doing. Howard said alright. He said he's sure Ronnie is doing fine and he can pay for it. Ronnie said he never said he was on fumes with the money.
Howard said Ronnie just got himself a new car. Ronnie said they both did. Howard asked what he got. Ronnie said Howard doesn't know cars so don't worry about it. Ronnie said he got the Dodge Charger Daytona Scat Pack Last Call edition or some shit. He said he got it all blacked out. Mike asked him what the Scat Pack is. Ronnie told him to look it up online.
Mike was asking about the car and arguing with him about the difference between the Charger and Challenger. Fake Mike said they were both 3 doors. Howard asked if Ronnie calls to his buddy Kurt Busch and gets his approval. Ronnie said sure he did. He said he had to call him and then he sat down with the dude at Tobin Dodge and asked what the difference is between the Charger and Challenger.
Howard said alright that's enough of this. He thanked Ronnie and both Mike Pearlmans and the Ronnie Puppet.
Howard said his wife and nephew are there. He had Beth come over. He said that this is Luke. He asked if he wants to say hi to anyone. Luke didn't know of any friends who listen so he didn't say anything.
Beth said that Luke is helping her out with the animals there. Howard said this is a cool set up with him being on radio right? He said Luke is a good basketball player. He said they were playing a game called this or that yesterday. He explained the game to Robin.
Howard said he and Luke were talking about green Lantern and Aquaman and who the better super hero is. He said it's Green Lantern of course. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said Nick Cannon will be there later. He said Nick is their guest and Robin is already pregnant. Robin said it was finally her turn to be a mother to one of his children. Howard said she could do a lot worse.
Howard said he asked Pat Monahan what this song is about. He said he thinks it's about his mother. Robin said he had a vision about his mother and that's what it was. Howard said he's singing about his mom in the song. He said the song is not about wife beating.
Howard said he never thought it was about his mother but that's what he says it is. He said it's about her being able to go to Jupiter and she gets to come back here. Howard said he's fine just staying here. Robin said that she saw a story about how they found that all people just want the same thing and we all want to do the same kind of things.
Howard said he doesn't go out much. He said it's just people hanging out and that's it. Robin said she doesn't think Howard sees people as being the same. Howard said he thinks there are certain types of people.
Howard said he's trying to gauge his time there. He said one of the things over the weekend that confused him was this transsexual woman who was born a man and became a woman. He said she's a big deal on the internet apparently. He said that he didn't know anything about her. He said she's on the internet and she got a deal with Budweiser to do something. He said she has some promotional deal with Bud Light. Robin said they sometimes make a special batch for someone celebrating something and she was celebrating her 365th day of living as a woman. She said they made up some cans for her and she presented them on her social media account. Howard said there were cans with a picture of her on them. Howard said then he saw people losing their shit over this. He said he saw Kid Rock and Travis Tritt losing their shit. He said he saw Kid Rock shooting the cans of Bud Light. He said that he said fuck you Budweiser. Robin said he said fuck Budweiser and Anheuser-Busch.
Howard said he saw Travis Tritt getting upset about it too. He said that he said he won't have it on his tour anymore or something. He said there must be a piece of the story missing. He said he's not bothered by gay people at all. He said as long as you're not hurting anyone he's on your team. Robin said she doesn't get why it changes anything for Kid Rock and those people. Howard said he'd like to know why he's so upset about this. He said he's not sure why it's s hurtful. He said he knows Bob or Kid Rock. He said he knows the guy and he has a great life. He said he transitioned from some kid in Michigan to a rock superstar. He asked why he would care so much.
Howard said Kid Rock used to be kind of flamboyant when he would do shows. He said he'd wear a feather boa and things like that. He said he's not sure what happened to these guys to make them get so upset. He said maybe they were tricked by trans people in their lives or something. Howard said Kid Rock fucked Pam Anderson and he can't imagine why he'd be so upset by this. Robin said Pam is a big trans supporter and maybe that's what upset him about that.
Howard said he's not sure what it is. He said he ash had some fucked up shit in his life and he's never felt the need to shoot up beer cans. He said Kid Rock's songs are about living your life the way you want to so he doesn't get it. He said he doesn't know Travis Tritt very well but he'd like to know what it is that upsets him so much. He said he'd like to know why he's upset that his person wants to live her life the way she wants to live her life. He said a lot of this hate comes from the religious aspect of this whole thing. He said Kid Rock isn't that religious. He said a lot of people are bent out of shape by this whole thing. He said he doesn't get it.
Howard said he heard Nike gave this woman a deal. He said the weirdest human being on the planet is Caitlyn Jenner. He said she's trans and she used to be Bruce Jenner and she's upset with Nike working with this trans activist. He said he's not sure what's going on. He said Bruce Jenner grew up in the time when people were outraged by transgender. He said his head is exploding just thinking about this. He said he doesn't get it. He said this is great for the transgender community and Caitlyn is upset about ie.
Howard said this is the statement from Caitlyn. He read the statement she put out about this trans woman and how this is what happens when a company goes woke. Howard said he's not even sure what this woke thing is. He said he can't explain any of this.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked him for supporting trans people. She said that she has a transgender child and that's what they should be saying. She said she just wanted to thank him for supporting them. Howard said he got laid yesterday so he feels good about his life.
Howard took another call from a guy who said one of the things he's getting is that people think this woman is just to make money. He said they think she's using this trans thing to make money. Howard asked who cares. The caller said that's what he says too. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said Kid Rock has a great life and this doesn't affect him at all. He said he doesn't know.
Howard said it's a tough gig to be a transgender person and get a job so take advantage of this if you can.
The caller, Jason, said that the second thing is that people thinks this woman isn't a real transgender and she's always been a woman. Howard asked who cares though. He said let her do her thing. He said that they just made some cans for her. He said Caitlyn Jenner is the real weirdo there. He said the weirdest thing about her is cutting her penis off. Howard said anything that normalizes what Caitlyn is she should be for but instead she's upset about it. He said what a weirdo.
Howard let Jason go and took a call from a guy who said that he loves him and thanks him for the years of entertainment. He said he had a big beer account and this guy pulled all of the Anheuser-Busch stuff from his floor. He said that he thinks this is going to go one of two ways for them. He said it's either going to get people to stop drinking it or they'll keep drinking it. He said he thinks this is the rednecks getting upset.
Howard said half of the best selling beer brands out there have partnered with the LGBTQ community. He said he thinks they should just hold strong and people will be back to drinking Bud Light by Memorial Day. He said it's so weird and strange.
The caller said that Anheuser-Busch is owned by a bunch of Belgian rich guys. He said it's not even an American company anymore. Howard said he's right about that. He thanked him for the call.
Howard said he doesn't understand this. He said people have accepted gays and gay marriage now for the most part. He said the Trans is the last thing they can be openly hateful about. He asked who cares. He said he remembers when Nike partnered up with Colin Kaepernick and all of the conservatives got upset about that. He said they were all going to stop wearing Nike. He said they all forgot about it. He said it's so crazy.
Howard said he just doesn't get any of this. He asked why go on social media and complain about it. Robin said they just made her more visible and more desirable.
Gary said there's something going on in the NHL too. He said they do this skate around thing at the games before the games. He said that some of the players won't wear this shirt they asked them to wear. He said there are Russian players who won't wear them because they may not be able to go back to Russia. He said it's become a whole shit show for them. Howard said he has no problem with any of this stuff. He said you have to normalize it. Robin said some people seem to think that everyone will become transgender if they do this. He said it's somehow going to overtake the world if they don't stop it. Howard said he doesn't think you can make anyone into anything. He said he was into girls from the start and he didn't know what it was he wanted to do with them but he knew something was up. He said he was mad attracted to girls. Robin said she was in love with Elvis as a little girl. She said she didn't know why but she knew she was into him.
Howard said he understands most stuff but this. He said people are wondering where Melania is during this Trump indictment thing. He said he gets why she's not out there because it's about her husband fucking a porn star while he was married to her. He said that he gets why she's not out there.
Howard said Jeff the Vomit Guy is even interested in her. He played a voicemail message from Jeff where he was asking her to go out with him.
Howard said he is excited to announce that they are now accepting applications for the Sam's Mom Dating Game. He said they're looking for guys who are interested in dating Sam's mom Kathy. He said you can mail them at Contest@HowardStern.com. He said you can leave a voicemail at 888-783-7610.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Bernie Mac was there asking about dating Sam's mom. Howard said Bernie is dead so that might be kind of hard. Bernie said he doesn't give a fuck. Howard asked if he knows what he's doing around the ladies. Bernie said he knows.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to fake Bernie about his cock size and things like that. Howard said he thinks that he'd fall into the category of men between 60 and 75.
Howard said he has to get ready for Nick Cannon. He said he has a lot of kids. Bernie said he's trying to repopulate the planet by himself.
Howard took a call from a transgender person named Claire who said she knows who this Dylan Mulvaney person is and she has been on a TV show. She said that it's interesting that this is all coming to be now. She said she's been getting a lot of attention. Howard said her point is who cares about any of this. Claire said she came out 7 years ago and she doesn't understand why people care so much. Howard said be what you want to be. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said Nick Cannon he has known for a couple of years now. He said he has a radio show that's premiering soon. Nick said he's trying to be like Howard. He said last time he was there he had a giant turban on and he was making fun of him. Howard said he's sorry he doesn't have it now. Nick said he's got a crown now. He said he's the new King of all Media. Howard said don't follow in his footsteps.
Howard said he knows nick is doing too much because he's always sick. He said he talked to him at America's Got Talent and told him to slow down. He said he had too many jobs back then. He said he was all over the place doing jobs. He said it was a frenzy. He said if he wasn't working he was fucking. He said he told him to get some sleep. He said he loves to fuck as much as the next guy but he has to slow down. Nick said he's got 12 kids and he's healthy and strong.
Howard said last time he was on he only had 3 kids. He said he's had 9 more since the last time. He said that's something. Nick laughed. Robin said he finds it funny. Nick said he thought they had something special but what did he do to her. He said he wonders what happened to his queen. Howard said he has too many queens. Robin said he has 12 kids. Nick said she turned on him around the sixth kid.
Howard said he used to call and congratulate him on his kids but after the fifth one he was out. Nick said we're here to be fruitful and multiply. He said that's all he's doing.
Howard said he read that he was doing this to find a kidney donor because he has Lupus. Nick said he heard that story too. He said he's not sure how that would work but he's doing just fine without the help from his offspring. Howard said that's why he hired Fred. He said if he needs some organs he'll harvest them from him.
Nick said people come up with the craziest stories. He said it sounds ridiculous to him. He said he loves his kids and that's why he's having them. Howard said he wants to see him slow down and live a long life. He asked how his health is now. Nick said he's doing fine. He said he had pneumonia a couple of months ago. He said he had to go to the hospital for a little bit but since December he's doing fine. He said he got on the right diet and he's back on track. He said he came off his tour on Saturday and he's back in the gym and at 100 percent again.
Howard asked Nick if he was on tour for stand up. Nick said he was on the Wild 'n Out thing and this Future Super Star thing he started. Howard said he's not sure how he does all of this and fits in the kids and the wife. Nick said he's doing the circadian rhythm thing and he's doing just fine. He said it works for him. He said he wishes he had figured this out 12 years ago. He said he'd probably have 24 babies by now.
Howard said he heard he was looking to get a vasectomy last year. Nick said that's a scary thing. He said that he doesn't operate well under pressure and people were pressuring him to do it. He said people were telling him on the street that he had to get snipped.
Howard said he has 3 kids and there's still a lot of financial involvement in them. He said he's not sure what it costs for him. Nick said he keeps working so he can get money for his kids. He said he's trying to be the Rockefeller for his kids. Howard said he was going to call him and tell him to stop with the kids. He said he feels close to him and he feels like he could talk to him. He said then he feels like ''who am I to talk to him that way.'' Nick said he loves getting his advice. He said he dint' listen to him about the America's Got Talent thing. Howard asked if he's able to bank some of this money so he won't have to work the rest of his life. Nick said he's been doing fine since America's Got Talent.
Howard said he was upset with nick for quitting America's Got Talent. He said that he told him it's a once in a lifetime thing. Howard asked if he knew he had The Masked Singer in his pocket. Nick said he did not. He said he didn't think that show made him. He said he did have a great job but he figured he could create another number 1 show. Howard said he admires that. He said that show is bigger than America's Got Talent at this point. Nick laughed and said it is. Howard said it's a big F-you to the people at NBC. Nick said he's back working with NBC now and the people who were there aren't even there anymore.
Howard said he sees how many women are into him. He said that he is a charming and handsome guy. He asked nick if women meet him and ask what he's doing with the women and having babies with them. He asked if he they're saying no to him. Nick said last time he was in there he would have answered differently. He said he's doing therapy and going through a lot. He said he's not really dating now and he's not sure what would happen. He said he's not doing that dating thing anymore. Howard asked if he only sees his many wives. Nick laughed and said ''wives...'' Howard asked if they give him a hard time. Nick said that his main focus is his children or work. He said it's a balance. He said his therapists have told him to be celibate and things like that. He said that he changed therapists after that. He said that didn't work for him. He said now he's working on himself. He said he knows you'll never be perfect. He said he was out there doing what he was doing and it was based on the pandemic and how his life had caught up to him. He said that he would tell women that he was wiling to have kids and that's how he ended up with 12.
Howard said Nick has a song called ''Pussy is Fire'' and played some of that. He said he plays this all the time. Howard asked what this song means. Nick said that he is a producer and he produced this track and it's younger kids performing. He said it's not him on the song. He said he likes that Howard liked this one. Howard said there are more like ''Fuck Me So Incredible.'' He played some of that. Howard said he wrote this one. Nick said he did and he's singing on that one. Howard played a few other songs that Nick produced and sang on.
Howard said Nick has this new TV show that he did with Kevin Hart. He said they play pranks on each other. He said he thought the fake TV show bit was good. Nick said he thought it was stupid. He said that he got a whole studio audience and cameras. He said it was just a 20 minute stand up bit that Kevin did. He said the brilliant thing is that they put it out on E! as a real show. Howard said they pranked the world. He said that was so great. He said it was a show called ''Be The Next One to have Nick Cannon's Baby.'' Howard said they did news reports about this. Nick said they said ''Human life isn't a game show.'' Howard asked if they got actual contestants to be part of the show. Nick said it never got that far.
Howard asked if he gets email from women who want to have his babies. Nick said he does and he's hoping they're kidding. He said they may not even want him but they want to be associated with Mariah Carey in some way.
Howard asked Nick if the wives get upset with him not spending time with them. He asked if Mariah gets more upset than any other women. Nick said there is no jealousy there. He said that Mariah was done with him years ago. He said she's a very close friend now.
Howard asked nick where he grew up. Nick said San Diego. Howard said his dad was an evangelist. Nick said he thought he was a street kid. He said that his parents had him when they were in high school. He said his dad would bring him on his show when he did a show. Howard said Nick was fine being on TV with his dad. Nick said he was telling Jesus jokes and things. He said the brilliant thing was that he got to learn how to produce and set up lights and things. Howard said he looks back and thanks his old man for that. Nick said absolutely. He said he grew up in the church and he got to do a lot there. He said that inspired him. He said he wanted to follow in his footsteps but he sinned too much to be a minister.
Howard asked what kind of jokes he did about Jesus. Nick said he'd borrow stuff from comedians that he watched. Howard said he did impressions too. Nick said he did. He said he did a Mike Tyson impression but he was just 11 at the time so they weren't good.
Howard asked Nick when he started going on stage. Nick said about 12. He said professional he was 15 or so. He said he would go out with Chappelle and Chris Tucker and guys like that. Howard asked how old Chappelle was. Nick said he was probably in his early 20s. He said they all started out young too though.
Nick said that Chappelle was letting him open up for him when he had his Chappelle Show thing going. He said Dave did this ''Fuck Nick Cannon'' bit that was really funny. He said when they went out on the road he would do that line and the crowds would yell it out before he could get a line out. He said it was wild. He said it was such a learning experience. He said he and Dave used to talk before and after the shows and he appreciates that. He said kids would yell out ''I'm Rick James, bitch'' to Dave at those shows. Howard said he kind of gets why he walked away from his TV show now that he said that. He may have wanted to get away from that.
Howard said Will Smith saw him doing his thing and gave him a deal and signed him. Nick said he was just 16 at the time and the guy was a really solid dude. He said he was doing the movies when he was saving the world every time. He said he took him under his wing at the time and he got to see all of that. Howard said it's amazing he got that at just 16. He said that is just mind blowing to him. Nick said it was. He said Jamie Foxx wanted to help him too. He said he had a comedy festival at the time and he would put him on that.
Howard asked if he went to Jamie Foxx's house when he had the crazy parties. Nick said he did. He said he had a crush on his sister and she was older than him. He said he thought he was partying but she was just baby sitting him. Howard said imagine at 16 you're at this famous guy's party. He asked who was there. Nick said guys like Snoop Dogg and the Lakers. He said people like that. Howard said usually the adults don't want a 16 year old hanging out. Nick said he was pretty chill and laid back about it all.
Howard said he can't imagine what that must be like. He said Will Smith got him a job in Drum Line. Nick said he did. Howard said no one does that for anyone. Nick said maybe you just don't hear about it. He said there are guys out there doing things like that for people. He said here are curators out there doing that kind of thing.
Howard said that he must have wondered what to do when the whole Chris Rock and Will Smith thing went down. He said Nick has to be confused there. Nick said he was sleeping at the time. He said everyone was waking him up to tell him about it. He said they thought it was a skit but then it turns out to be real. He said Will was being real there when he told him to keep his wife's name out his fucking mouth. He said that was so unfortunate. He said it was the first year that he was a producer winning the Oscar and it was tough. He said he was empathetic toward him. He said he let his emotions get the best of him. He said his heart felt for both of them. He said that that's just a glimpse into the black lifestyle. He said that when it comes down to it then you see what can happen. He said he thought it was funny at hell too. He said that they're still cracking jokes about it.
Howard asked if he called Will. Nick said he didn't. He said that it's very weird when you go through things you just want to be left alone. He said he didn't bother Will after that. Howard said he never knows what to do. He said on one hand he doesn't want to hear from people. He said on another hand you should reach out. He said that's what he has learned in therapy.
Nick said he's still very spiritual and he will write a personal card to them. He said if you write something and send it to them he's that guy. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Nick said it's really none of his business. He said we all have our takes on it but it's not our biasness.
Howard said he's not sure what he would say. He asked if he has spoken to will since then. Nick said not since. He said he doesn't think Will is thinking about him that way. Howard said he doesn't know watch the right thing to do is.
Howard said Nick is getting back into morning radio again. Nick said he never really got out. He said Howard left terrestrial radio and now Amp is doing the same thing that Howard did. He said that everyone is talking about it and it's democratizing radio. Howard said it's too much though. Nick said it's not though. Howard said he has to spend time on his health. Nick said he's fine. Howard said he has so many shows he has to slow down.
Nick said he was doing a show where he was working 16 hours a day to make 1 hour of content. He said that was not healthy. He said he saw this process and it was taking too long. He said he was flying a lot and he had to figure out a way to do this level of content and entertain every day without that work schedule. He said he wanted to be with Amazon and work with them. He said he heard about this new app that allows you to do radio from anywhere. He said he can do it on radio and you can get on and do other shows through your show. He said he's live and interacting with people from wherever he's at. He said he can be in L.A. or wherever and do the content there. He said he's doing 3 hours of live content before most people's day even starts.
Howard said the show is Daily Cannon and his co-host is one of the women he had a baby with. He said that has to set off people. Nick said that's DJ Abby De Larossa and she's amazing. Howard said he had to have never had sex with a 9. Nick said he's taking him down a bad road again. He said that he had never seen a DJ like her. He said she had her own show and he fell in love with her. He said when he started this show he wanted her to be part of it. Howard said he's in love with her then. Nick said he loves her energy. He said he loves lots of energy though. Howard asked what baby number she is the mother to. Nick said 5. He said he had to count that out. He said she's actually 5 and 6 because she had twins.
Howard asked Nick to name all of his kids. Nick ran through that long list. Howard said he missed one. Nick said he didn't let him finish. Nick said he's right. He left one of the kids out.
Nick said he lost a child and that's when the therapy started for him. He said hew as in a dark place. Howard said he reached out to him and that was the right thing to do. Nick said he's right about that. He said he hates to bother people though so that's why he writes cards to people. He said it shows you care and the compassion there. Howard said it's always the 10th middle child who gets looked over. He said that's his saying. He said you have to be careful raising so many kids. Nick said today he has Onyx Ice Cold with him. Robin said that's the one he forgot. Nick said stop it Robin.
Howard said he has to do a radio show with all of the women he had sex with and had babies with. He said that would be amazing. Robin said he should have one on a day. Howard said he wants them all on the same show. He said this is great stuff.
Nick said he hopes he has a lot of time on this planet to tell his story. He said he's not looking to exploit it or anything. Howard said it would be interesting.
Howard said Nick has a wild life. He said he's sitting there thinking about him because he's seen him in action. He said he met this DJ Abby and she's hot and everything. He said they hang out and then the magic happens and he has a kid with her. He said it's such a thing. He said he would read a book about it. nick said he is in the publishing business. He said the story will be told. He said he will come back and tell the story when the book is ready.
Robin asked if he is a condom wearer. Howard said he is not. He said Nick has told him. He said he has 9 inches and he told him that. Robin asked if he does not wear a condom. Nick said he does. Howard said he told him that he doesn't. Nick said if he could he would wrap both heads while he's out on the streets. He said sex is a spiritual experience. He said when you start out with someone you wear them in the beginning. He said as you get into the person you start to get rid of the condoms. He said they go away. Howard asked if he doesn't pull out. Nick said then you have to get the pull out game together. Howard said he does not have that in him. Nick said he can't even pull out of a driveway.
Howard said Nick told him that condoms are too tight on him. He said he doesn't have that because they fall off. nick said he's trying to evolve and things aren't the same as they were in the America's Got Talent days.
Howard said Nick is very successful and he has to get out his plugs. Nick said he's like Howard's son. He said he wants to be the King of all Media. Howard said he only has one job at this point. He said Nick has the Daily Cannon Radio Show that starts on April 24th on Amp. Nick said that will be at 6am out on the west coast.
Howard said he almost called him about the Lupus thing. He said he has to be careful with the COVID thing. Nick said he had it before the vaccine. He said that was in the middle of The Masked Singer. He said he had to step away for four episodes. He said that was scary. He said people were getting really sick and passing away. He said since then he has not had it. He said he had it pretty tough at the time. He said in December he had pneumonia and things were flaring up. He said he appreciates Howard being concerned about it. Howard said of course he is. Nick said Kevin Hart calls him too. Howard said he heard he bought him a condom machine. Nick said he did. He said it's in his garage right now. Howard said he's not sure they even make a condom vending machine anymore. Robin said that's the kind of thing Nick needs. She said that's what Howard should be doing instead of calling to congratulate him.
Howard asked if he wears Magnums. Nick said that is the ones he prefers. Howard said that's because he's so big down there. He said they're for guys who are very big. Howard said he can't believe he wears those. He wondered what that's like. Nick said he needs an endorsement deal.
Howard said it must be great when he pulls down his pants with a woman for the first time. He asked if he ever had women leave because they can't handle it. Nick said no one left. He said there were no complaints. Howard said women have left him but not because he was too big. Nick said every time he's on the show he gets in trouble. Howard said it's fine.
Howard went through Nick's day which starts at about 2 in the morning. Nick said he meditates and works out and then practices piano and things like that. He said he plays that and guitar and drums. Howard asked if he started when he was young. Nick said he didn't perfect it until he started producing and stuff.
Howard said he wakes up and does all of that. He asked if he has breakfast. Nick said he has to take quite a few pills. He said he drinks a liter of water to get started. He said he has had maybe a gallon by 6am. Howard said he must pish every 15 minutes. He said that's a lot of water. Nick said he threw him off today so he's a liter and a half in. He said he didn't go to the gym this morning. Howard asked if he's still in shape. He said he used to be ripped. Nick said he appreciates him. He said he inflates his ego so much.
Howard asked what kind of work out he does. Nick said a lot of core stuff. He said he boxes and does yoga. Howard asked if he can kick someone's ass. Nick said he's not sure. He said he hasn't had a fight since he became an adult. He said he has been in the boxing ring a lot. He said he went into the ring with Kevin Hart. He said he didn't knock him out.
Robin asked how much taller he is than Kevin. Nick said he's a whole other human being taller. He said that his son was with them too and he has video of him training with a trainer. He said his son isn't far off in height from Kevin. He said he'll let his son handle him. He said he's about to turn 12 years old.
Howard asked if he's still in touch with Pete Davidson. Nick said he is and he's a great guy. He said he's very good about reaching out to you. He said he'll change his number and then he'll still reach out. He said they talk when they're going through stuff.
Howard said that makes sense. He said Pete must have learned from him. He said they have to come on together and measure their dicks. Nick said he changes diapers and he sees his kids and he's very happy with the young Cannons. He said they're packing.
nick said he had this kid who would call into his show at 92.3 there in the city. He said he always said he was funnier than him. He said he invited him down to do his thing and he went on to open for him in his comedy shows. He said that kid turned out to be Pete Davidson. He said that he was 15 years old when he met him. He said he knew he was funny. He said he had to let him finish high school before he could take him out on the road with him. He said his mom was great and he had to go through so much at that age. He said Pete just wanted to be funny. He said the guy is brilliant. He said he gets why the women want to be with him.
Howard said they both dated Kim Kardashian. Nick said that during that time it was probably their most distant time. He said he was doing his daily talk show and dealing with all of that. He said he was close with Kanye at the time too. He said it was weird. He said he was the one who introduced Kim to Kanye in like 2006. He said that was a long time ago. He said they didn't get together for years but it's one of those things.
Howard said he heard that Nick is like a guru. He said when Pete split from Ariana Grande he told him he needed an older woman. He said that's when he went out with Kate Beckinsale. Howard asked if Pete called him and asked for advice. Nick said he was probably just joking around.
Howard said Nick should do a show where he, Kanye and Pete have a roundtable about Kim. Nick said he thinks that would be more intriguing if he had Kim on the show.
Howard asked how many days he can go without sex. Nick said he was celibate for 9 months at one point. He said he wasn't even masturbating. Howard said it must be poisonous not to do that. Nick said that was a long time ago. He said he was younger then too. He said you get past that. Howard asked if he had any wet dreams. Nick said he was told he as sleep fucking while he was shooting a movie.
Howard said his penis could write a book. He said he's bursting with pride right now. Robin said they have to get back to his shows and find out what he's up to. Nick said Robin is back on his side. Howard said he's had quite a charmed life. Nick said he has and he thinks it's all such a blessing. He said he is very thankful for what he has. He said he thanks God daily.
Howard said he has to give Nick some plugs for all of this stuff. He mentioned the Amp show. He said all hell is going to break loose with this news. Howard said nick also has Celebrity Prank Wars going on E!. He said he has Wild 'n Out doing its 19th season. Nick said he has to come on. Howard said he's not sure what he would do on there. Nick said he can freestyle rap. Howard said he doesn't rap. Howard said he should play him his music with his band Tuchus. He played Nick his song ''Smell my Tuchus.'' Nick said that's amazing. He said he should be on season 20 of Wild 'n Out. Howard said he's going to have 20 kids. He said fuck everyone.
Howard said Nick has the Daily Cannon show. He said he has the Celebrity Prank Wars. He asked who they have lined up for that. Nick ran down a list of celebrities. Howard said he hates being pranked. Nick said he does too. He said they tried to punk him and he and Ashton Kutcher had a beef for a while. He said one time they had him stop at this gas station and he knew he was being pranked. He said he's not sure where they were going to go with this prank but he didn't fall for it.
Howard said Nick also has The Masked Singer. He said he has Wild 'n Out and all of this stuff. He asked what he's worth. Nick said that he has been consistently on a number 1 show on network TV since America's Got Talent. He said he's doing well. He said that it's consistent. He said he brought that show over here and licensed it from Korea. He said he has to give FOX credit for supporting that show. He said he's an Executive Producer on the show. Howard said he must be pulling down some good money from that. Nick said he doesn't talk about that. Howard said he could be making 15-20 million a year from that. Nick said that's not crazy. Howard said look at you. Nick said they're going into their 10th season of The Masked Singer. Howard said all of that and a 9 inch penis. He said don't put that Magnum on, he's ready.
Robin said nick was great at hosting America's Got Talent. Nick said he's glad she's back on his side. He said that she can come spend his fortune with him. Howard asked Robin how 9 inches is. Robin said it's not easy to handle. She said he has to make sure that the woman is ready. She said it can take some time. Howard said slow down nick. He said he has to go in slow and just use the head at first.
Howard gave Nick some more plugs and said they have the Wild 'n Out tour starting this summer. He said he has a Future TV Stars show starting on BET this summer too. He said he saw the preview for that and it looks good.
Howard took his phone out and asked Siri how much Nick Cannon is worth. Howard said it says there $60 million. Nick said he'll take it. Howard said it must be more. nick said he's not sure what that even means. Howard said Siri says she wants to fuck him. He did an impression of Siri asking to fuck Nick.
Howard said Nick is up to a lot of stuff. He said he has to pace himself. Nick said he appreciates that. He said he's one of the people who is honest with him and it seems like he cares about him. He said he appreciates that. He said he does listen to him. He said he called him during some tough times. He said that he is always supportive. He said he sees Howard did a lot of shit that he got canceled for. He said he made a movie about it. He said that he studies him and he really did some wild shit when he was a young man. He said he probably wouldn't be in therapy right now without Howard. He said he takes notes. Howard said that's good to hear.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Kanye West who said he didn't know he was going to have Nick on the show. He said he found out that he was friends with Skeet Davidson and he didn't know that. Howard kept him on for a minute before letting him go.
Howard said Nick has upset everyone. Nick said he feels like he had that actual conversation before. Howard said that was a little too real. Howard said Nick has a lot going on. Nick said it's Big Nick Energy. Howard gave him more plugs for all of this stuff.
Howard said he has to take care of himself and calmly go about his life. He said no more kids. nick said he's stopping at 12. Howard asked him if he's done. Nick said every time he answers it he can't answer it. He said that he really doesn't know. He said he says he leaves it in God's hands. He said then the religious people get upset with him.
Howard asked what woman would make him have another kid. Nick said he's not doing this. He said he can see the headlines. Howard asked if Taylor Swift asked him to do it would he do it. Nick said that's the one. Howard asked about Emily Ratajkowski. Nick said it's Taylor Swift. He said he's all in. He said he thinks they would relate. He said she's dated a lot of people in the public eye and so has he. Howard said this is going to make headlines today. He said he'd be so proud of him if he was his son. Nick said he is his son.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was the maternity ward saying they just had 10 more Nick Cannon babies this morning.
Howard said he would love if Nick had a baby with Taylor Swift. He said Nick has money and game and a 9 inch dick. He said that's all he's saying. Nick said ''Thanks dad!'' Howard said if he sees Taylor walking funny he'll know why.
Howard gave Nick more plugs and asked if he ever auditioned for Saturday Night Live. Nick said he never wanted to be on it. He said he would rather create his own thing. He said he is friends with Keenan Thompson but he wanted to do his own thing. He said he loves Saturday Night Live but he's a Wild 'n Out guy. He said that he based that show on what Lorne has done.
Howard gave more plugs and Nick asked when he's going to come on one of his shows. Howard said his band is in. He was on a show with him for 4 years too. He said he never watches America's Got Talent anymore. Nick said he hasn't either. He said he loves Terry Crews though. Howard said he doesn't like that douche bag Simon Cowell. Howard said he was plotting behind his back to take his job. He said he denied that he was doing that but he read the emails. Nick said that makes sense then.
Howard told Nick to pace himself. Nick said he's putting his crown back on. He said his dad passed it on to him. Howard said they have to talk before he has 5 more kids. Nick said he's done at 12 unless Taylor or Robin want to have a kid with him. Howard said he worked with him for 4 years on America's Got Talent. He said the ladies love him. He said he's a good looking kid. Robin said he has been gorgeous since he was 15 years old. Howard asked if she would do him. Robin said she's no into guys who have such a long list of women. Howard wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 10:50am.
Howard said Fred had an idea since he was kicked out of his band. Fred said he was going to do one with Gary but that might be difficult. He said it was going to be called Gary's Finger. Howard said he loves him. Fred said he can't handle the competition. Howard had the guys turn his microphone off.
Howard said Fred was insulted that he kicked him out but he had to do something. He said each song was tanking. He said that's when he started the band with Robin. He said Robin has a good presentation when she sings. He said she has a very full voice. He said what Fred did was sing and peppered Robin into the song. He said he didn't like it. He said Robin isn't a background singer. Fred said he didn't like it because it was good. Howard said not at all. He said Robin was not used properly.
Fred said everyone likes the song other than Howard. Howard said people are afraid of Fred. He said he's afraid of Fred too. The three of them were going back and forth for a minute.
Howard said he'll play some of the song Fred and Robin did. The song was ''Queef'' and it was mostly Fred singing. Robin was in there singing some lines. Howard said he's had enough. Fred said he cut it off before Robin sang. Howard said he's trying to do a B-52s kind of thing. Fred said he's not.
Howard said he's going to put Fred on Peloton Girl. He said he turned Robin into a joke. Howard played more of the Queef song. Fred said he keeps cutting it off before Robin sings. Howard played more of it for him.
Howard said Robin is talking in the song. He said Fred is singing. He said he's still waiting for Robin to sing. Fred said she's right there. He said he's going to keep cutting it off. Howard said no one is enjoying this. Fred said it's no Tuchus but it's well produced and Robin did a terrific job. Howard said this is not her style. Fred said it's still a song. Fred said Howard is a piece of work.
Howard said he loves Fred. Fred said he loves him too but he knew this was going to happen. He said he had the script in his head. He said this is the gaslight effect. Howard said Fred is very talented. Fred said he's more talented than he gives him credit for. Howard said he's never heard him like this. He said he should be in the rock and roll hall of fame. Howard said he told him he's very talented. He said that he loves the way he plays guitar. He said he's like Eric Clapton with a mental issue. Fred said that's why he kicked him out of the band.
Fred said Howard is the guy who said he has mental issues. Howard said they both have mental issues. He said they've done pretty well for guys with mental issues. Howard said Fred told him the other day that he just heard the best song ever. He asked who wrote it and Fred said ''I did.''
Fred thanked the guys who helped with the song. He thanked Robin too. Fred said he's showing his appreciation for those guys. Howard said Fred is his best friend. Fred said he can't imagine how Jimmy Kimmel is treated.
Howard said Fred works hard on the music. Fred said it was a fun thing to do. Howard said maybe he should have worked harder. Fred said he worked hard enough to be better than Howard's.
Howard said Fred is a very sensitive artist. He said enjoyed that song very much. Fred said he's pathetic.
Howard asked if Fred was into the music of The Cult. Fred said he is not that familiar. Howard said he loved that band in the 90s. He said he thought they would be huge on the level of Nirvana and Foo Fighters and bands like that. He said what they were doing was very unique. He said the lead singer's name was Ian Astbury. He said that band was so good. He said he watched interviews with that band and they had that stunning woman who did the interviews. He said she was an MTV VJ. He said it was Downtown Julie Brown. He said she was so sexy. He asked what happened to her. Robin said she thinks she got married. Howard said she must have married some rich guy. He said he thought she great. He said Martha Quinn was great too. He said the other one was that blonde. Robin said it was Nina something. Howard said it was Nina Wood because she gave him wood. He said it was actually Nina Blackwood. He said he wanted to see her VJ too. He said that's why they called them VJs. Howard said Downtown Julie Brown would dress like Madonna back in the day. Robin said she did. She said she was like a Madonna rip off. Howard said she had it all. He said she was a magnificent looking woman.
Howard said the interview she did with Ian wasn't all that great. He said this guy was really good and he looked annoyed sitting there. He said he looked like he felt like a clown. He said he was a perfect front man. He said their best song was ''She Sells Sanctuary.'' He said it's a hard song to say but it was really good. Howard said he loved the song and he'd listen to it to get him pumped up. He said Ralph was the one who got him into the band. He said he told him he had to listen to them because they were so good.
Howard said he thinks they should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of fame. He played some of their song ''She Sells Sanctuary''. He said the guy's voice is so unique. He said the song gives him the chills.
Howard said the guy had messed up teeth like Gary. He said from the nose down he looked just like Gary. He said what a song this is. He said when you can sing like this even crooked teeth are hot. Robin said she never thought Gary had a rock look. Howard said from the nose down.
Howard said Ian said that after you write a song like that you spend the rest of your life trying to write one that good. He said they had a lot of good songs though. He said you should listen to their stuff. He said they have a bunch of good songs. Robin said they were probably big around the world but just not here. Howard said they were really good. He said the name of the band was good too. He said it's the second best name in rock next to Tuchus.
Robin asked where they are now. Howard said they may live in an assisted living place. He said he spent a lot of time thinking about him yesterday.
Howard said he was thinking about Sting too. He asked Fred about him. Fred said he's right up there with Lennon and McCartney with his song writing. Howard said he was a good looking guy too. Fred said he looked like a million bucks. He said just look at him in their videos. Howard said that's another guy who is good looking and he still got a nose job. He said he's not 100 percent sure but he thinks he did. Fred said he thinks he's right about that. Howard said Sting had a rounded tip like Fred and then he seemed to change. He said he thinks he got a nose job.
Howard said he thinks Sting looked better with the rounded nose. He said the pointy nose looks weird. He said he doesn't think he should have done it. He said the surgeons don't know how to do it right.
Robin said she may have preferred that pointy nose because the bulbous nose is very British. Howard said it's interesting that even a guy that good looking got surgery. He said he didn't need to do that. He said he doesn't know for sure he got a nose job but it looks like he did.
Howard said Sting must have gotten a ton of pussy. He said he was good looking and wrote a ton of good songs. He said then he married Trudy. He said he's reading Paul Stanley's book (Face the Music: A Life Exposed) and he did a lot of fucking. He said it's incredible. He said he would have 4 or 5 women a day at times. He said he talked about how sex was his addiction. He said they'd pull up to a place and women were ready to go. He said everyone knew the score. He said there wasn't even a conversation. Howard said the whole thing is crazy. He said it was like an all you can fuck buffet. He said later on in the book he meets Donna Dixon. He said she later married Dan Aykroyd. He said that she was very sexy and good looking. He said Paul Stanley was doing her. He said he had her. He said she kind of dug her. He said she fucking blew his mind. He said she ended up with Dan.
Howard said you have to be crazy not to practice guitar every day. He said that's not really the case anymore. He said it's tougher to get a record deal now. He said it's weird.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about the conversation they had about the rock songs in commercials. He said he'll do it later. He said some people told him about other songs in commercials. He said he was going to do that yesterday but they were busy with Nick Cannon.
Howard said the rock star thing isn't the same as it used to be. Robin said she was watching Saturday Night Live and that used to be a place to discover new music. She said they'd find bands who were doing the top of the pops stuff. She said they had the Jonas Brothers on this weekend and they were singing and playing earnestly. She said she had no idea what they were singing about. She said it was all just ridiculous. Howard said they have to get their songs in a commercial. He said he and Tuchus write just for commercials. He said that's why they wrote ''Metamucil Man.'' Robin said she had no idea what they were trying to tell her.
Howard said Metallica is coming on tomorrow. He said he opens the door to them when they want to come in. He said they're going to do a couple of tunes for them too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said all of the VJs are there on SiriusXM. He said Nina and Mark are on 80s on 8 and Julie Brown is on 90s on 9. Howard said he's right. He said he forgot about that.
Howard said he's not sure how he didn't get a countdown show. He said he should have one. He said it's an easy gig. He said he'd do a top 40 show. Robin asked what 90s on 9 counts down. The caller told them what they do. He said they do the top 10 or 20 songs of a certain year and a certain week. Howard said he heard the count down once and he had no idea what Julie was counting down. The caller said Julie still looks hot. Howard said he's not sure how she looks now.
Howard said he might have to get some of that Botox stuff. Robin asked where he's going to put that. Howard said he can't walk around like this. He said if COVID came back and they can all wear masks again he'd be okay. He said it's like the wall fell on him. He said he used to be cute back in the day from time to time. He said he had to have the right outfit on. Robin said he looks beautiful in Private Parts. Howard said it's not funny now. He said he's not sure how he fell apart so rapidly. He said it just happened.
Howard said the company wanted him to go to Miami to do some shows from the new studio. He said he thought about doing it but after seeing himself in the mirror he doesn't want to go out in public. He said he'd dreading it. He said he has to do it because he agreed to do it though. He said they're sending him out to the place where the young people are at. He said he will be doing some shows from the new studios. He said coming soon is his worst nightmare. He said don't look.
Howard said Beth even got him this bra-like thing you put on that's supposed to make you stand up straight. He said he was miserable. He said he had to take it right off. Robin said of course it's going to be uncomfortable. Howard said it was really uncomfortable.
Howard said Paul Stanley was carrying on with Donna Dixon. He said look her up and see how she used to look. He said she was hot. He said that was something else.
Howard said Paul was talking about how crazy it was that he had a deformed ear and got made fun of in school but then he became a rock star and he was banging Donna Dixon.
Howard played the clip of Bobo reading the vows that he wrote for Ronnie. They were kind of nice. Bobo said he was trying give Ronnie something that sounds like him. Howard said it's like Bobo de Bergerac.
Howard said Ronnie has to do it. Ronnie said he knows what he means. Robin asked Howard to play it again. Howard had Ronnie repeat after Bobo. Ronnie said no.
Howard played the clip again and said he's like Luca Brasi. He played a clip from The Godfather where Luca was reading his speech to Don Corleone.
Howard played more of Bobo's speech where he was crinkling his paper. Howard said if Ronnie goes for a funny speech it's going to backfire. He said he has tape of a guy who tried to be funny. He said do not do this. He said there's a clip on the internet that is so bad. Ronnie said it's so fucking funny with this shit. Howard said he's going to fuck it up so bad. He said he knows Ronnie. Howard said he's making her pay for the wedding. Ronnie said he's not making her pay. He said he doesn't live there and he doesn't know.
Howard said this is tape of a guy who had a speech at his wedding. He played the clip and the guy was saying that his wife just has to keep his belly full and his balls empty. He said some things about finding other women and then talking about banging her and hitting her head on the headboard and things like that.
Howard said he can see Ronnie making a speech like that at his wedding. He said they were trying to stop the guy from making his speech. He said go more the Bobo route. Ronnie said yes dear. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet voice and had him making a cringy speech. Howard said that's so romantic. Ronnie said he's taking notes.
Howard said he can see Ronnie taking that route. Ronnie said he can too. Howard said think about it. He said for Ronnie to think that she should pay even 10 cents for the wedding is ridiculous. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Howard said this is a big day for her and she's been dreaming about it. Ronnie said she has. Howard asked what's with him. Ronnie said he's just taking notes and listening. He said he's taking it all in.
Howard was going to let Bobo go but he asked a question about who has the best voice for top 40 radio. Howard said he has to go. He said he has no idea. Bobo said he's thinking Spider Harrison. He said he has a great voice. He said he has those deep tones. Howard said he has no idea who has the best top 40 countdown. He said Spider does have a great voice. He said he has to go. He hung up on Bobo.
Howard said he's not sure what Ronnie is going to say at his wedding. He said he might just have to go. He said he'd like to see Ronnie there in Vegas. He said he has to work out his personal issues with COVID and germs.
Mike Pearlman asked if Stephanie bought her own car. Ronnie said she did. He asked what she got. Ronnie said she got a Camaro. Ronnie said they're just having a good time doing all of this. Howard asked if they split the rent and stuff. Ronnie said sure they do. He said he pays for most of the shit and she pays a little bit. He said she buys the food.
Howard asked who pays for dinner. Ronnie said he does. Howard said he was just asking. He said don't get upset. He asked if they split the dinner. Ronnie said stop it. Ronnie said he gets the food at the supermarket sometimes. Ronnie said if she takes out a credit card it's his.
Mike asked if Ronnie thought that he was going to get away with his for years and not have to get married. Ronnie went through a story about how this wedding came about and how they're up to 236 people at the wedding.
Howard said he has Ainsley and Luke in the studio now so watch your language. Ronnie said he didn't know. Howard said they're leaving soon. He blew them a kiss. He asked if Ainsley wanted to give a shout out to anyone. She didn't want to. Howard said that's fine. He said the kids kind of ignore him but then he's on the air and he's like Superman. He said thank god for radio.
Howard said he's glad he got on radio. He said he has a life. He said these guys all have lives because of that too. Ronnie and Mike got back to their discussion and Ronnie got back to cursing.
Ronnie and Mike got back to their usual arguing. Mike asked simple questions and Ronnie got upset with him. Howard just laughed. Mike said the glasses he has look great on him.
Howard asked what Ronnie should do with his facial hair. Mike said he has to trim it down. He said his moustache is bigger than his head. He said he should trim it down a bit. Ronnie said he's not changing anything. They ended up arguing about that. They argued about the color of Stephanie's Camaro. Mike thought Ronnie didn't like it but Ronnie said it's fine.
Howard asked if Mike is going to be studying everything there at the wedding. Mike said he is very observant. Ronnie said he saw his wedding too. He said he was very observant. He said there's something wrong with him. He asked if he wants to stuck his dick or something. He said this guy is sick. He said there's something wrong with him. He said he's obsessed. Howard said he could listen to this all day.
Howard said Mike has to take notes. Ronnie said he has a reporter coming already. He said Leiberman is coming.
Howard said he was invited to Steve Nowicki's wedding too. He said he can't go. He said they're just going to send money. Ronnie asked who is paying for the wedding. Steve said they're both paying and the families are helping. Howard said that's fine because he's a young man. He said Ronnie is an older man with money. He said Steve is a young man and that's when you help your kids. He said that Ronnie should be paying for his whole wedding.
Howard asked what kind of gift Steve wants. Steve said no gift. Howard said he has to just tell him the amount he wants and he'll mail a check. Steve said nothing. He said he really doesn't have to send anything. Howard asked Ronnie what he should send. Ronnie said maybe $2500. Howard said he was thinking 1500 but he might be right. Ronnie said he is a loyal employee. Howard asked what Ronnie is giving. Ronnie said he's not sure. He said he has to fly in and all of that. Howard said it sounds like a gift card to Chuck E Cheese is on its way. Ronnie said he'll probably give $500.
Howard asked Mike if 2500 is good. Mike said he was thinking 1500 is generous. He said 2500 is a lot. Howard said now it's out there though so he has to give 2500. Steve said that he was thinking about what he gives and he feels cheap now.
Howard asked Fred what he's giving. Fred said he doesn't know but his wife will come up with something. He said he'll participate in the money grab like everyone else. Howard said he got the invitation and wondered how he even got his address. He asked Gary what year he got married. Gary said it was 1992. Howard said that was a funny wedding. Gary said he gave him $1500 back in 1992. Howard said he has to pony up and give Steve something. He said he's Gary though. Gary said it was super generous. He said he got everyone to give more at his wedding so he appreciates that.
Howard said he shouldn't even be at Steve's wedding. He said he heard that Eddie Van Halen's ''Hot for Teacher'' guitar is up for action. He asked how much that might go for. Steve said they're estimating $2-3 million. Howard said he was thinking he could pick one up for his wedding but that's a lot of money. Steve said he has replicas of those guitars. Howard said he sees that.
Howard said Samantha is saying that $1500 is too much for Steve. Howard asked what she's thinking. Sam said she thinks that if he's not attending then you can pay less. She said that's a lot of money. She was thinking $1000 would be really generous. Howard said people expect him to pay though. He asked what Robin is going to send. Robin said she hadn't thought about it yet. She said she's not sure what she's giving. Sam said she's giving $500. She said that's what she gave Memet. She said she didn't even go to his wedding. Howard asked if Memet had a wedding. Ronnie said he went and he was the only one who did. Howard said he's glad he didn't invite him. He said he appreciates that. Steve said he wasn't sure if he should invite him or not.
Howard asked Memet to get on. He said this is a guy to love. He said he has to give him a kiss for not inviting him. Memet said he knew he did the right thing by not inviting him. Howard said that's the employee of the month. Memet said Steve knows that he's getting a nice gift from Howard. Steve said he didn't think it was going to be anything that big. He said he never goes over $200. Ronnie said don't come to his wedding then.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about the gift giving thing. Howard said Steve has a $1,400 knife set on their wedding registry. Howard said that's a lot. Sam said no one wants that stuff. She said everyone wants cash.
Howard said it's like a shakedown. He said Ronnie doesn't even have a registry. He said that they just want money. Ronnie said he could care less. Howard said imagine he goes to the wedding and has to hand over an envelope. Ronnie said he doesn't have to give him anything. He said Howard is the most generous guy he's ever worked for and he has no problem saying that. He said he's being serious. Howard thanked him for that. He said it's time for him to be generous with Steve now. Ronnie told Steve to hold him to that $2,500.
Howard asked what Mike is giving. Mike said 5-600. He said that's what he was thinking. He said he's not just saying that because that's what Sam said. Mike said you can't cheap out. He said you have to be generous. Sam said it is expensive to fly. Mike said when the wedding is happening is when there's a huge rate hike in Vegas at the time. He said you have to book it now to get into the hotels. Ronnie said calm down. He said it's all taken care of. He said they have discounted rates on the rooms and all of that. He said don't worry about it. He said the F1 races will be there and it will be insane.
Howard he has no idea what F1 is. Ronnie said they race all over the world. He said it's not NASCAR. Mike said Ronnie is the only one who is into race car driving. He said even guys who are into cars aren't into it that much. He said he's into cars too but he's not into NASCAR. Ronnie said he doesn't even know what it is.
Mike and Ronnie ended up arguing about racing. Howard said even Ronnie's room looks like a 10 year old's room with the NASCAR stuff up there. Ronnie said whatever. Robin said even George Lucas is into F1.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mike Pearlman who was talking about how Ronnie became a western character. Real Mike said he used to come in dressed real nice in a suit and all. He said now he has the big moustache and he's waiting for him to wear snake skin boots or something. Ronnie said he wants to see what he's going to be like at his age. He said he wants to come back to see that.
Howard asked fake Mike what he thinks he should get for Steve for his wedding. Fake Mike, played by Steve, said that Eddie Van Halen guitar would be nice.
Howard said when they come back he's going to get to the Underdog thing. He said he has a promo for that. He played that before going to break. Howard said that's the Howard Stern Dream Maker series. He said that Underdog gets to meet Bram Stoker's grand nephew. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said this is a beautiful song. He went into some details about how this song came to be after Adam visited a friend in the hospital.
Howard said that he visited Robin in the hospital and didn't come out with a song. Robin said it takes feeling to do that. Howard said it takes talent. He said he remembers the feeling of seeing her in the hospital. He said Benjy doesn't know that feeling since Robin kept him from visiting. Howard said he wasn't allowed in the room. He said even on her death bed she didn't want him there. Robin said that would have killed her.
Howard said he saw that David Crosby's cause of death was COVID. He said he was very immuno compromised. Robin said he didn't need any extra strain on his body.
Howard said he has to get to Underdog but he has to talk about this. He said people used to commit suicide and not hurt other people. He said some would jump out a window and fall on people and that upset his father. He said his dad would rant about that. He said nowadays people shoot people up and then get killed. He said this guy shot up a bank and shot 5 of his co-workers. Robin said he wounded 8 as well. Howard said he's not sure why people want to take other people out. Robin said they're angry and she's not sure why. She said it's sort of random and it's not like they're getting back at someone. She said she sort of gets it if you're going to shoot someone to get back at them but it's still not justified.
Howard said this kid was super popular and they say he had some concussions. Robin said he wrote about it and wrote to friends and family about it. She said she's not sure when he put them up but he was live streaming while he did it.
Howard said Nick Cannon being ready to have a baby with Taylor Swift made the news. He said that was big in the news. Robin said that's another thing she doesn't understand wanting to have so many kids. She said a lot of wealthy men do it. She said most men have several wives and have kids with them. She said she thinks that Elon Musk is near Nick's number. She said that they were all supposed relationships that created them instead of having kids weeks apart.
Howard asked if these people now how hard it is to raise kids. Robin said no. She said she has problems with the idea because each child needs attention and they relate to the world differently. Howard said Nick did say he tucks the kids in over Zoom.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her nephew's friend was in that shooting in Kentucky. Howard said it was nice in the old days when people just filled themselves and didn't take others with them. He said he knew a guy who killed himself and he was angry with his parents and family but he killed himself in front of them. He said he didn't kill them. He said it's a whole new thing. Robin said it started with people who couldn't kill themselves so they had the cops do the job for them. She said now they do this to get the cops come and kill them. Howard said a lot of people in the old days had some class. Howard said now people are fucked up and want to make a statement.
Howard said this shooting happened just 2 weeks after people were killed in Nashville. He said this is the 146th mass shooting in this country this year.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling in from San Diego. Howard said that's a piece of heaven out there. He said they have great weather there. The caller said he wanted to comment on that shooter in the bank. He said he heard on the news that he heard he was going to be fired so that might be his motive. He said he walked into a bank meeting and started shooting. Howard thanked him for the call.
Robin said she knew about the firing but that's not an excuse. She said they've been fired a lot and they just tucked their tails and left. Howard said you just go get another job.
Howard said he saw some news about the Dalai Lama tongue kissing some young boy. He said that was weird. He said there's video of this guy and this little boy wanted to give him a hug and the kid was just a young boy. He said the Dalai Lama asked him to suck on his tongue. He said it's crazy video. He said he thought it might be a deep fake but it turns out it's real. He played some audio from the incident. Howard said they were saying that in that part of the world sucking on a tongue isn't a bad thing. Jason said it was sticking out your tongue is some kind of sign of respect. He said sucking on the tongue isn't normal.
Howard played some audio of a news report where they talked about the sucking of the tongue thing.
Howard said that the Dalai Lama apologized to people for what he did. Howard said that's just one weird move. He said you must forget that you're just a man and you can't do stuff like that. Howard said he just wanted you to know that he was just being playful.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bernie Mac who had some things to say about the Dalai Lama and how he can't get any rest without crazy stuff like that going on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're missing the active shooters and how they get famous right away. He said this kid was live streaming it. He said the Nashville shooter wanted to be famous too. He said this is a thing that's going to continue to happen. He said that he's not sure what we can do to stop this. Howard said you can get into it and talk about gun legislation. He said it's too easy to shoot people up. He said he's not sure what good that will do. He said even hand guns can get off a lot of rounds so he's not sure. The caller asked why people are so angry. He said we have issues. Howard said it's just fucked up and he's not sure what we have to do.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Woody Allen who said he found the Dalai Lama kiss very hot. Howard closed the door on him very quickly. Howard said he's not sure who did that impression but it was not working.
In the clip OJ talked about the Masters tournament and how he bet on this Jon Rahm guy and he ended up winning. He said he had a feeling he might win a few sheckles if he won. Howard said this guy is something. He did his impression of the guy.
Howard said even the video of him in his sunglasses drives him nuts. He said you can see the pool he's sitting next to in the reflection.
Howard wondered if he's in therapy. He wondered if he ever lays in bed at night and thinks about what he did. Robin said probably not. She said that he's probably fine with anything he does.
Howard said OJ is as happy as he should be. He said he's never that happy. Robin said Howard has healthy and productive children but nothing excites Howard the way things excite OJ. Howard said this just proves that there is no karma. Howard said he's sitting there in his basement while OJ is sitting by a pool. He asked where the Karma is. He said OJ is doing great. He imagined him scraping off lottery cards with the murder weapon and winning 10 grand.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's sick of you libtard freaks talking about how there should be gun legislation. She said we should all be carrying guns. Howard said you don't have to call him names. He said we're all trying to figure out what to do. He said it doesn't help to name call. He said he's a gun owner. He said he goes to the range and he sees people who don't know how to fire a weapon and he leaves the gun range if he sees that. He said they could shoot someone accidentally. He said that these people can't hit the side of a building. He said that there's still the element of surprise too. He said the guy who has the advantage is the shooter. Howard said you have to evaluate the threat first and the shooter doesn't. He said it's not enough. He said in schools they have to have a guard and have a metal detector. He said they have to do that at least. The caller agreed.
Howard asked if the caller is hot. She said she was but that was back in the day. She said she sang for two presidents. She said she sang for Reagan and Bush Sr. Howard said he thought she was going to say Lincoln. She told him to shut up.
The caller told Howard how they listened to Howard back in the 80s and 90s. Howard asked if she's married. She said she's a widow. She said she has two in the ground. Howard thanked her for the call. Howard found out that the caller, Sherry, never blew her husband because that's nasty. She said she was old fashioned. Howard asked if she ever got on all fours. She said no to that too. She said her husband made love to her and she never had to do anything. She said that he never even went down on her. She said she's a lot of fun but she never had him do that.
Howard said she never did anything fun. She said they did it in the shower. She said that he would bang her standing up. Howard said that's a little different at least. Howard asked if she ever wanted it doggy style. She said that her husband told her that he wanted to look at her beautiful face. Howard said imagine just doing missionary. Howard said no blow job for her husband. She said he didn't need her if he needed that. Sherry said she never had sex toys either.
Howard took a call from a Kerry who was doing an impression of Sherry and talking about the same kind of stuff but she was the opposite of Sherry. Howard let Kerry go on for a minute about all of that.
Howard asked if Sherry ever let her husband put his finger in her ass or anything. Sherry said no to all of that. Howard said she missed out on a lot. She said she did not. She said she's very fulfilled. She said that the show isn't as exciting and funny as it used to be. She said that it used to be brilliant stuff. Howard said that he's not sure what he can do. He said he's sorry he's such a disappointment to her.
Howard said Ronald Reagan passed the most gun legislation in history. Sherry said he ruined the farmer too. Howard said that's right. He said he isn't funny anymore but he used to have jokes about ruining the farmer.
Howard asked if Reagan or Bush hit on her at all. She said she was in a 20 piece band so they didn't. Howard asked her to sing for him. Sherry sang a little bit for him. Fred played some Beetlejuice vomiting sounds for that. Howard let Sherry go a short time later.
Robin said once they stopped the name calling they had a nice conversation there. Howard said they did.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's responding to Sherry. She said she's from Canada. She said it's not having more guns that's the answer. She said they don't give out AR-15s to just anyone there. She said they don't have mass shootings up there like they do. Howard said he doesn't want to get into the weeds with this. He said it's too much to get into.
Howard took a call from a guy who told a story about learning about the procedures about shootings in schools and it's just a 30 minute class. He said when he worked in Nashville they had teachers getting stabbed and more. Howard said he was thinking about teachers and how they have to go to school worrying about this. He said the students too. He asked how much this guy makes as a teacher. The caller said about 50k a year. Howard said this guy is getting 50k a year and now he has to learn to take down a mass shooter. He said that's a lot to take for 50k. He said he wouldn't step foot in a school these days.
The caller and Howard talked about the arming of teachers thing. Howard said they need to have guards in the school. The caller said he was in the military and the most well trained military train 24/7. He said some of the guys in first contact may break down and cry and you don't know what will happen if you put guns in teacher's hands. Howard said some people just can't shoot. He said that even police officers don't have enough practice. He said imagine you start arming teachers. He said he's sure kids will get hit by accident.
Howard said he wishes that teachers had more security. He said giving them all guns is not the answer. The caller thanked him for supporting the military the way he does. Howard let him go and almost got into his Vietnam stories.
Howard said Jimmy broke her heart. He said this broke his heart too. He said this new segment today is Stern Show Dream Maker. He said they tracked down Bram Stoker's grand nephew and Chris and Wolfie told Suzanne the news. He played some audio of Suzanne sounding very excited about that. She said that it would be a life long dream for her to be fulfilled.
Howard had Chris and Wolfie come on to talk about this. He asked Wolfie how he tracked this guy down. Wolfie said they spoke to a vampire in New Orleans last year. That led to them finding this guy.
Howard played a clip of Underdog talking about this Bram Stoker relative and asked if they know about Underdog. Chris didn't know. Howard said Chris is dripping with insincerity. Chris said you never know what's going to set her off.
Howard played more clips of Suzanne talking to Chris about this guy and what might happen if she gets to speak to him. She was very worked up about the whole thing.
Howard said this is why they do what they do there at Stern Show Dream Makers. Howard asked if this guy wanted to do this. Chris said he was very into doing it. He said he's met other fans who are into this character. He said this guy is very into Dracula and has made it his life. He said Suzanne thinks that he's a vital link to that Dracula novel.
Howard said the guys got in touch with this Dacre Stoker and they put him on with Suzanne. Howard played a clip where Chris put her on with Dacre who is the great grand nephew of Bram Stoker. Dacre and Suzanne talked a little bit and Suzanne talked about the dance version of Dracula she did. She sounded like she kept interrupting Dacre.
Howard said there are so many people who are into Dracula. Chris said Dacre has embraced this. Howard wondered if he'll have relatives who will be doing this for him some day.
Howard said Suzanne went into her greatest hits and talked about her parents forcing her into believing in the Easter bunny, Santa and things like that. Howard played some more audio of Suzanne and Dacre talking about that stuff.
Howard said poor Dacre. Robin said Bram had people telling fantastic stories and poor Suzanne was being tortured. Howard asked if she has any questions for Dacre. Chris said not really. He said she kept telling her stories.
Howard asked how long this went on. Chris said it went on for over and hour and 15 minutes and it was supposed to go about 45 minutes.
Howard played a clip of Suzanne playing out a scene for Dacre from one of her performances. Dacre said that was some metamorphosis. Chris did an impression of her that blew out his microphone.
Howard said he can't believe Jimmy didn't want her to do the dance on his show. Chris said that's the dance she wanted to do. Robin said she's sure that this is the strangest Dracula fan that Dacre has ever met.
Howard said this conversation went on for an hour and a half. He said he was going to put the whole thing on Howard 101 or something. He said there should be a special. Robin said maybe on Halloween. Chris said that she does not want that at all.
Howard played another clip where Suzanne talked to Dacre about going on tour with him so she can do her dance for Dracula fans. Dacre said he'll keep his options open. Suzanne said he can check it out on her web site. Howard asked how she has a website. Chris said that's her blog. He did his impression of Suzanne talking about that.
Howard said the conversation came to a close and Suzanne made a very hard pitch to Dacre. He said she wanted an ''honorific'' title of ''Princess'' which is an uncorrupted title. She said she would be Princess Dracula. Chris and Dacre wrapped up with Suzanne. She said her goodbye and called him ''The Descendant.''
Howard asked if they did not make a dream come true. Chris did his impression of Suzanne for a few. Howard said this was like her Harry Styles or her meeting the pope. He said it was huge. Robin said he doesn't write or anything. Chris said he actually does. He said that to her this was as close as she'll ever get to the original. Wolfie said that just being acknowledged by the descendant is what meant the most to her.
Howard said Chris called Suzanne after the interview. He said they made her dream come true. He said she reluctantly kind of thanked him. He said that he was kind of shocked. Howard played the clip where Suzanne talked about how much she appreciates them setting this up. Chris asked if this changes her opinion of Howard at all. Suzanne said yes. Chris asked what she would say to Howard. Suzanne said she thanks Dacre and Mr. Wilding and to some extent Howard. She said she thanks God most of all. Howard played a song parody with some of Suzanne's sayings in it.
Howard said now she only kind of hates his guts. He said she doesn't fully hate him. Chris said that she was on some internet show trashing Howard a couple of weeks ago so he's not sure about that. He said this was a fleeting thing. He said the Dacre high kind of wore off. Howard said he was going to try to get her on the Dacre Dracula tour but fuck that now.
Howard said that was great. He said they have a couple more dream maker things coming up. He said he has some things to tease. He said they have Medicated Pete learning to strip at a strip club, Wendy the Slow Adult meeting Robert Englund and Debbie the Cum Lady gets to try to blow High Pitch Erik again.
Howard asked if Mariann's husband would really let her bang him. Mariann said he did say yes. She started screaming so much that she wasn't understandable. She said she has tape of her husband saying this so they have to play it.
Howard asked Mariann if Beth said okay to this then what happens. He said that he's not sure what goes on. Mariann said that she adores Howard and she's very into his looks. Howard said he used to have her on America's Got Talent and she'd come into his dressing room. He said she started to sweat one time in his dressing room. He said she is a very attractive woman. Mariann said she sweats more than High Pitch Erik. Howard said he thinks that she'd cum like the moon if he had sex with her. He said that she's going to start screaming and yelling.
Howard asked to go through the whole thing. He asked if she wants to do it in a hotel or something. Mariann said that she wants to go to a hotel looking out at the beach. She said she'll have some Prosecco with him and then they can get down. Howard said they have some drinks and dinner. Mariann said she doesn't want to be full. She said she will wear a t-shirt or something. She said she'll have a wife beater on. She said she likes to keep that on. Howard said maybe she should but he'd want to see what's going on there. He asked how big her tits are. Mariann said she's small with a B-cup. Howard said that's exciting.
Howard and Mariann went through it and Mariann said she would keep a shirt on to keep her belly hidden. She said she wants to just get it done. Howard asked if the lights are on or off. Mariann said off. She said they have the sunset going down outside so that's the light they have. Howard said he removes her panties and squeezes her ass a little bit. He asked if he can kiss her. Mariann said she hates kissing with her nose in the way. She said she has issues with that. Howard said she has to clean her clam for him. He said he doesn't want to catch a whiff. Mariann said she takes 3 baths a day so that's no problem.
Howard asked if she's screaming in bed. Mariann said she can keep it down. Howard said she says she can still get wet. He said he has to believe that she can do that with him. He said for her this is going to be like having sex with God. He said it'll be gig. He said the second his cock hits her vaginal lips will she be cumming. Mariann said she thinks so. She said imagine how she'd feel. Howard said he'll jerk off the day before so he can last a little longer. He said that he wants to give her a good ride. He said he might cum in seconds in new vagine. He said that's what has happened. He said he has to fuck her and give her an orgasm. Mariann said that he never disappoints her.
Howard said the reality is that she'll be shaking like a leaf. He said he'll have to wash her down because she'll be sweating so much.
Howard said he's thinking that he'd have to slide his cock in slow. He asked Mariann what she'd want. Mariann said they have to play it by ear. Howard said he likes to just stick his head in. He said then she will ask him to just put it in. Mariann asked him to please put it in. Howard said he can put it in but he doesn't have much to play with so it won't be much. He said he's going to run out of dick. He said then he starts plowing her. He said what he'll do is grab her ass cheeks and stuff like that. He said he'll get that white shit all over his pubes. He said he won't look down because he doesn't want to see that. He said then he'll probably pick her up and put her knees back behind her head. He said he'll turn her on her side and then fuck her like that and then put her on all fours and fuck her from behind. Mariann said that would all be amazing. She said that the fact that they'd get to that point... imagine.
Howard asked what she'll do to him. Mariann told him what she can do to him and she said she'd do whatever he's into. Howard asked if she'd blow him. Mariann said nothing is out of the question. Howard said he imagines she'd use her teeth on him. Mariann said she'd make him feel good. She said she can imagine starting by the window and she'll go down on him. Howard said he just wants to lay in the bed and do it all there.
Jason got on and said they have the tape and he thinks Mariann is out of her mind. He said her husband never gave her permission. Mariann said just listen. She said her husband said yes so he's blowing it. Jason said the word yes never came out of his mouth.
Howard played the clip and Mariann asked her husband about this hall pass thing. Her husband said no fucking way. Mariann said she loves Howard though. He said he'd have to think about it. He never said yes. Howard said Jason is right and he never said yes. He said he would think about it.
Howard said she sounded kind of sexy when she calmed down. Mariann said she told him she could do that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he thinks this would be a disaster. He said he can't imagine she's any fun in bed. He asked if she would wear something hot like a muzzle. He said he was there when Mariann fell apart at America's Got Talent. Mariann said she's more mature now. Howard said Ralph is right about her falling apart. He said he was scared for her. He said she was shaking and sweating. He said that this woman worships him. He said if he just played with her titties she'd be cumming. Robin said they can't go to a hotel. She said they'll be bursting through the door and arresting him.
Howard asked Mariann how many orgasms she's had in a day. Mariann said she's had two. Howard said her head might explode if she was with him. He said it would be kind of exciting to have that kind of power over a woman. Mariann said come on. Ralph said he doesn't think this is a sexual thing. Mariann said that Howard is wanted and he's just super monogamous. Howard asked if he wants anal will she do that. Mariann said no to that. She said she draws the line there. Ralph said fun girls don't draw the line.
Howard asked if she'd swallow his load. Mariann said yes. So did Ralph. Howard said her husband is on the line. It was High Pitch Erik doing his Low Pitch voice. He told Howard he gives her permission. He said this is not High Pitch Erik. He said this is Mariann's husband. Robin asked if he knows his name. He didn't answer.
Mariann asked Mr. Brooklyn what the best thing to do with her is. Erik said that you start at her nipples and then you work down to her feet and work your way back up. He said then you start fucking her really hard. Chris said it sounds like Mr. Brooklyn has never had sex before. Howard said he has a feeling this isn't really Mr. Brooklyn. Erik broke out of character and said this is High Pitch Erik.
Erik said his dream come true would be for him to be able to fuck Robin but with two women. He said it would be Robin and Mariann. He said he knows how he wants that to be played. He said he wants Mariann to tickle his nipples and for Robin to go down on him. Howard let him go after hearing that.
Howard said her husband did not say yes to this. He said he's going to replay the clip. He played it again and her husband said that he would have to think about it if it was just Howard Stern on the hall pass. He said life is too short. He said it depends on how good she is to him in the next couple of hours.
Howard said here was nothing close to a yes there. Mariann said she thought there was a yes. Howard said it would be a great show for the Miami show. Mariann asked when that is. Howard said he's just going to a show down there. He said he's not going to have an audience there. Mariann said if he doesn't want to go then don't go. She said he can tell Jennifer Witz no.
Howard said he has to ask Beth to come down. He said that she might be with her family. He said he has to text her.
Howard called and asked Beth to come down. She said alright. Howard said she's on her way. Howard said Mariann has to convince her. He said he has to tell her he doesn't want to do it. He said he's afraid that Beth will say yes. Mariann said no one else out there has a fan like her. Chris said they do but they're all in jail. Howard said imagine the reality of all of this. Robin said she's not sure where they could do this. She said they'd have to do it in a sound proof room.
Beth came in so Howard had her put on headphones. He told her this is a theoretical thing. Howard told Beth about this hall pass thing. Howard went through that and had Mariann ask her about it. Mariann asked Beth where she would stand on this. Beth said that she would not let this happen. She said that's a hard no. She said she loves her husband so much that she has to say no. Howard said he loves this woman. He said he didn't want to do it anyway.
Howard said if she said yes then he'd just have to touch her vagina and she'd start screaming. Beth said maybe it's better to keep it a dream. She said that way there's no disappointment.
Howard asked Mariann to tell her how hard she'd cum if he stuck the head of his penis in her. Mariann said she would cum so hard. She said she really loves Howard and what he stands for. Howard had her tell Beth about how she was going to tickle his balls and blow him. Mariann said she'd cup them a little bit and give him some nipple action and all of that. Mariann told Beth about the hotel room and the big window looking out on the beach and all of that. Beth said he would not disappoint. Howard said he'll talk to her off the air and see what happens. Beth asked if he called her down for that. Howard said he just wanted to her to know. He said this not happening is all for the best.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Jennifer Witz who said she pays the bills so he has to do this. Howard said he can't do this and he has to draw the line here. Howard closed the door on her while she was on a rant.
Howard asked if the family left. Beth said they're gearing up to go. Howard said it's back to just them. He said he should end the show. He said it's 10:15 so they can wrap things up. Beth said she's not going to tell him to leave his show.
Howard said Mariann is a mess around him. He said she's never be able to do that. He said tomorrow Metallica will be there. He said they can control themselves around him.
Beth got in a plug since she was there. She said she has two one year old cats that still need a home. She said that's Pugsley and Wednesday. Howard said they're the sweetest cats. Beth said it's dangerously close to wanting to keep them. She said she can't keep two more though. She said she has to find a home. She said that she'd like someone in Florida to take them. She said they're great with kids. She said that's the only plug she wanted.
Howard said they've done it again and did another brilliant show. Howard got in some plugs and wrapped up the show. They were done around 10:20am.
Howard said the band is so filled with integrity. He said that they were a great speed metal band and they didn't seem like they were going to be huge some day. He said you go back and listen to their stuff now and see that they were geniuses. He said when they were faster than ever and everyone hated them they got big. He said they were the band that your parents hated. He said it was dangerous fucking music. He said they never made a video for MTV. He said they didn't care. He said they were like ''fuck you'' and then they had an epiphany.
Howard said the music was so intense that they weren't able to do anything faster. He said they brought in Bob Rock to help. He said the band and Bob didn't get along at first. He said they were going to kill this mother fucker. He said then they brought out the Black album. He said it was crazy what they accomplished. He said that's why it's important to him to honor the band today. He said they have a tour starting and he wants to talk to them and listen to them play.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bill Shatner who wanted to sing some Metallica. Howard let him do his thing with Master of Puppets.
Howard thanked Bill for that. He closed the fake door on him a short time after he sang a little bit. Howard said Bill is 92 and his voice sounds fantastic. He said it's really something.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up how Howard just said they became popular after the Black album. He said true fans will say that their best albums were their first 4. Howard said he's aware of that history. He said some fans were upset with them when they came out with that Black album. He said it was very popular and the original fans got upset. Robin said they think they sold out.
The caller said that he and his friend took off to get the alum the day it came out. He said they threw it out the window. Howard said how wrong he was. He said that album is a masterpiece. The caller said that's an opinion. Robin said he's got an opinion too.
Howard said he should just play the whole Black album before the band comes in. He said if you're still listening if you listen to Load and Reload after that... He stopped and said he's not sure why he's arguing.
Howard answered another knock at the door. It was fake George Takei who went off on Bill Shatner. He ended up singing the same song but in his own unique way. Then he told Brad to get in there and do a solo on his skin flute.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who his other top 4 bands are if Metallica is up there. Howard said the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Van Halen and Led Zeppelin. He said here are so many great bands out there. The caller said he just called to rile him up.
Howard said he loved the Allman Brothers. He said he's been listening to their stuff and he really appreciates them now more than he did. He said when you hear James and Kirk playing together it reminds him of the early Allman brothers.
Howard asked Fred if he's right. Fred said The Allman Brothers are an overlooked band. He said he gets what Howard was saying about them playing together. Howard said they were something else. He played some ''Whipping Post'' and said they were bad ass.
Howard said he was listening to Metallica all last night to get pumped up to talk to them. He said he went and did the wrong thing and watched American Idol. He said when you watch the specials about Metallica you see the work that they put into their music. He said then he watches American Idol and someone is singing ''Somewhere Over the Rainbow'' and he sees that this isn't the way it's done. Robin said she had to watch some episodes of that and she saw Lionel sitting through the auditions. Howard said they love the show. Robin said it's all bad. Howard told her to stop it. He said it's a good show.
Howard answered another knock at the door. It was fake Leonard Nimoy who said that Shatner and Takei can both suck his big fat Spock. Howard said that's enough of the door knocks.
Howard said he wanted to get Playboy magazine when he was 12 years old. He said his mother let him get it. He said he got a copy from his cousin Jack. He said the magazine was full of weird cartoons and stuff and it turns out he had sent him a MAD Magazine in a Playboy cover. He said he thought that he was wrong about what the magazine was. He said he got to the back of the magazine and saw that the cover was glued to the MAD magazine.
Howard said he was fascinated by the magazine. He said this was really funny stuff that it was so good he almost came on Alfred E Newman's face.
Howard said they always had the names of the guys who wrote for the magazine. He said Al was one of them. He said Al is the guy who made the great cover where you see Alfred brushing his teeth with a brush that was missing teeth where his tooth was missing. He said it was genius.
Howard said that Al did this one off thing where they had a centerfold that you had to fold in thirds to get the joke. He said they loved it so much that they made him do it every month. He said he's not sure how he did it. He said it was funny, witty and brilliant. He said this is one of the influences that he had in his life that made him want to do radio. He said there were a lot of influences like Soupy Sales and guys like that. He said even his father inspired him. He said his father would get upset about everything.
Howard said the first time he got married his father wanted to see what kind of gifts people gave him. He said he would open them and his father would get upset about how cheap people were. He said his father turned red from being so upset. He said there were people who gave gifts that weren't cash and his father looked like he was going to punch a wall. He said he doesn't need a Crock Pot. He said his mother tried to calm him down.
Howard said MAD magazine was his biggest influence. He said they made fun of everything. He said he told Fred they had to do something like that. He said he wanted to do goofs on TV shows and things. He said he wanted to spoof I Love Lucy and things like that. He said they had to bring that to radio like MAD brought to him as a kid. Fred said he had the right idea. He said he can't understand why MAD didn't translate to TV. He said it was a brilliant magazine. Howard said it did translate to TV but not with their own show. He said it was guys like Ivan Reitman and Lorne Michaels who were influenced by that magazine. He said they just took it a step further. He said MAD filled his head with possibilities.
Mike said that magazine filled his head with possibilities. He said he wanted to be a weirdo. He said he loved all of that weird stuff. He said that's probably why he loves Howard. He said he is like MAD.
Howard said the magazine was done in by shows like Saturday Night Live and their show and things like that. He said they gave birth to all of them. He said now he has his own gang of idiots. He said he was always envious of that gang of idiots. He said he wanted his own gang.
Howard said Al Jaffee lived through so many years of that magazine. He said he was one funny mother fucker. He said rest in peace Al. He said he was 102 years old. He said what a life he had.
Howard said he was honored when he would put him into something in the magazine. He said he's not sure who did the cover that he was on. He said he's not sure if that was an Al Jaffee or not. He said he sure remembers that guy. He said he was upset to see that he died. He said he can't wait to read his obituary in the NY Times. He said he was busy with Metallica yesterday.
Mike asked if his dad had an opinion on the magazine. Howard said the only thing he knows about his dad and MAD is that his mother would try to force them to have a day together. He said they would do stuff and his mother got them 2 tickets to the MAD show on Broadway. He said it was a show on Broadway. He said it wasn't really like MAD Magazine but it was really good. He said his father had to take him. He said his mother kind of finagled it so he had to take him. He said his father was miserable doing stuff with him. He said he'd yell the whole time at other drivers and things like that. He said everything was trauma and angst. He said once they sat down and watched the show his dad was happy. He said he thought the show was funny but he didn't read the magazine.
Fred said it was Jack Davis who drew the cover with him on it. Howard said Jack is gone too. Fred said he died in the 90s. Howard said those guys used to just sit and draw all day. Robin said that they laughed a lot and that may have helped with their longevity. Howard said that's why they're all doing so well.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that magazine was so great. He said it was jam packed with stuff. Howard said they never had commercials either. He said it was mind blowing. Ralph said it was like 2 dollars too. Howard said they didn't want to be corrupted by the ads. Ralph said it was really smart and funny. He said he hated that Cracked magazine. Howard said he liked that. He said it was good too. Ralph said it was a MAD rip off. Howard said it wasn't as good as MAD but it was okay.
Howard asked if he heard right that he defended the Dalai Lama. Ralph said he was clearly goofing on it. He said whoever told him that doesn't get it. He said he loves that people get upset in the comments. He said they're so stupid. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said rest in peace Al Jaffee again. He said that he gets upset when people like that die. He said they get forgotten.
Howard said they had KISS on a few weeks ago and he started reading Paul's book. He said it's a very honest book and he likes it. He said he was talking to Sal and Sal said being a KISS fan right now is like being a Real Housewives fan. He said that Paul was on the show and they mentioned the hall of fame and Paul was upset about how they wanted them to play with Ace and Peter and they didn't want to do it. He said that Paul was upset about it. Howard played a clip of Paul talking about why he didn't want to do that.
Howard said that pissed off Ace and he went on Eddie Trunk's show and he demanded an apology from Paul. Howard played another clip where Ace said he'll come back on Trunk's show and tell some dirt about them. He said he has a 120 page manuscript that he can release. He said if anything happens to him he's going to have that released and their careers will be ruined.
Howard said this is great. Richard said there are a lot of bands that fight like that. He said there's Great White and they have two Great Whites because they band can't get along.
Howard said 7 days later Ace called back into the show and he kept the dirt to himself even though he didn't get an apology. Howard played a clip and Ace said he got a call but Paul told him ''fuck you'' and said he's not apologizing. He said don't sink to their level and he's not going to reveal anything.
Howard said there's a lot of drama going on. He asked what it could be that he would reveal. Robin asked what a rock star could have done that would shock you. Howard said this is like Melrose Place but with more make up. He said it's the Real Housewives of KISS. Howard said Sal must be all over this. Sal said it's great. He said there's so much going on. He talked about some of the stuff that's out on social media. He said the fans are constantly fighting.
Howard asked what Eddie Trunk's background is. Richard said it's his 40th anniversary of being on radio. He said he's been with Sirius for a long time now too. He said he's a music genius. He said he had a show on VH-1 where they did a Stump the Trunk game and he knows a ton of stuff. He said he has a crazy music knowledge. Howard asked if he looks cool or like a shut in. Sal said he looks like a taller version of Stewart from Beavis and Butt-Head. Howard said maybe he should put some KISS makeup on. Richard said he and Eddie are the same because they look the way they do but they love the same kind of music.
Howard said he was talking to Richard earlier and they were talking about how when Metallica started they were like regular guys. He said they weren't like rock stars. He said that's what's so great about them. He said they never buckled. He said they never put on costumes like bands like Poison. He said they refused to do that shit. Richard said you won't find an old embarrassing photo of them. He said they were always cool. Richard said he can't wait for that. He said he's so psyched.
Howard said they're going to do some tunes today. He said he's going to ask them to do some covers. He said they're doing ''Turn the Page.'' He said their version is better than Bob Seger's version. He said there's no saxophone in their version.
Howard said he has to ask about that video the guys did with that song. He said they had Ginger Lynn in the video. He said it was about being a hooker and a stripper and having to make money. He said she gets beaten up in the video. He said it was fucking dark. He said MTV never played it. He said the song was still a huge hit. He said that's what he means about not compromising. He said most bands would not do that.
Richard said they started out as a cover band. He said they would cover songs and now these other bands get massive royalties for the songs they covered.
Howard took a call from a woman who was rambling about something Metallica and weird shit. Howard asked what the hell she's talking about. He said she sounds like she's on Meth. The caller, Liza, said she never thought she'd get through. She kept talking about her store Mojo. Howard said he has to try to understand what she's saying. He said if she's teaching music and she's exposing kids to Metallica that's great. She would not stop talking. Howard said he likes what she's saying about the band.
Richard said they're doing a marching band thing for schools around the country and they can get the Metallica sheet music and they can win money for playing their songs. He said it's really cool.
Howard thanked Liza for the call. She tried to get in another plug as Howard was hanging up on her. Howard took a call from a Liza impersonator after that. He spent a minute talking to her.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mark Wahlberg who said he works out to Metallica. He said he's listening to Master of Puppets right now. Howard spent a little time with him.
Howard took another call from Ralph who said he has known Eddie Trunk for years. He said he has a really interesting story. He told Howard about how he got started with the radio thing and how he progressed from there. Howard said that's why his dad told him not to go into radio. He said anyone can replace him. He said a guy from a mall could replace him. He said his dad was right. Richard said Eddie was one of the first guys to play Metallica on radio. He said that was way back in 1983. Howard asked if this is the Eddie Trunk show now. He said how about go work for him instead. He asked if they think this is Trunk 100.
Howard said the footage was his home security footage. He said they got about 5.5 million views. He said now the cops are suing.
Howard said his guys called Afroman and found out it's been good for business. He played a clip of Afroman talking about how good it's been for him lately. He said that he's selling more and has more visitors. He said before that lawsuit no one wanted to talk to him. He said now he's back with his good friend Howard Stern.
Howard said in true Afroman fashion he was high and the interview didn't get off to a good start. Howard played some audio of Derek talking to Afroman about this case and what was going on with it. Afroman asked him to repeat the question because he had just taken a hit.
Howard said he does love that song ''Because I Got High.'' He said it sounds like it was recorded in a home studio with a drum machine. Robin asked if he really needs permission to use footage his home security system recorded. Howard said someone has to look into that.
Howard said he wishes he could be a great musician. He said he'd love to be a rock star. Robin said then he'd be out there doing his own thing. Howard said he'd be out there fucking with his groupies. He said he wouldn't even know anyone's name. He said he used to dream about being an imbecile savant. He said he wasn't blessed with that. He said he just turned out to be an imbecile. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said Trent Reznor wrote this song in 15 minutes. He said he says he's pissed at the song because that one got the most attention. He said he feels like it's an insult because he labored over the songs so much. Howard said he gets it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's calling because the caller earlier said he bought the Black album at midnight. He said the band has evolved and the fans have grown up too. He said he just wanted to chime in. He also said that he's seen them in concert 51 times. Howard said he only saw them 3 times so he's got him beat.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a huge Metallica fan and he got to meet everyone but James in a club in London. He said he saw Rob in a pub over there and he saw Kirk there. He said he picked up their tab. He said they talked for like 45 minutes. Howard had to cut the guy off because the story was going on and on. Howard said it started out kind of cool. He said he saw the guys in the pub. Then he got into details and it was weird that Kirk wasn't able to figure out how to pay. He said poor Kirk had to talk to the guy for 45 minutes. He said his first question for Kirk today will be about why he can't pay for his own drink.
Howard said he was up to the part of the story where Kirk pawned the guy off on Lars. He said he likes that he was looking for someone to pay for his drink. He said that's a crazy part of the story.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about Mariann's call where she said her husband said he could be her hall pass. Howard said they listened to the tape and he didn't say yes to that. Robin asked how she thought he said yes. Howard said she heard what she wanted to hear. Howard read some of the feedback he got about that.
Howard said Mike Pearlman followed up with Mariann and found out her husband never said yes. He played a clip of Mariann talking about that and how she doesn't care because Howard went along with it. She said she's on a Howard high after all of that. She said they had a nice conversation so that was the best part of it. She said it was great to be able to talk about what they would do if they got to do that together.
Howard said that was some conversation yesterday. Robin said she liked when High Pitch Erik called in with his impression of her husband.
Howard took a call from Mariann who said that she had a conversation with her husband and he thought she was delusional too. She asked if Howard bought Beth some roses after talking to her about all of that. Howard said he did not. He said everything worked out fine though. Mariann said it was so great having that conversation with him. She said he brings her so much joy. Howard said he knows. He said last night she pleasured herself with a 2 inch dildo to see what it would be like to be with him. Mariann said it's all in her mind and she doesn't need that kind of stuff. Howard hung up on her.
Howard asked how he can help this caller, Brenda. Brenda said she still has an active sex life. Howard asked if she still gets wet. She didn't answer. Howard asked if she has a husband. Brenda said yes. Howard asked if they still have sex. Brenda said once or twice a week. Howard said that's a surprising amount of sex. Brenda said her husband is 75 and he can't get a good erection anymore. She said she still gets horny like she's 25. She said she uses toys and stuff. Howard asked if she can do all the positions. Brenda said she can do pretty much all of them. Howard asked if she can blow her husband on her knees. She said that's no problem. She said he likes to tie her up and have rough sex.
Howard asked if she eats her husband's ass. She said she has. Howard said she's a real player. Brenda said she can't have an orgasm without watching lesbian porn. She said she thinks she's straight though. Howard asked if she ever had an orgasm with her husband. She said she has not. She said that she can only have that if she sees lesbian porn. Howard said she's been faking orgasms then? She said she guesses she has.
Howard said he likes lesbian porn himself. He said it turns him on. Brenda said the idea of having sex with another woman does nothing for her. She said she only likes to watch it. Howard said he doesn't understand why she doesn't get off with her husband. She said her husband was able to get her off with his tongue on her clit. She said she would cum that way. She said that he said that he would say she would squirt but she felt like she was just peeing. Howard said imagine your wife starts pissing on your face. Brenda said she doesn't believe in squirting. She said she has seen it but she thinks it's just piss. Howard said Fred just puked.
Howard took a call from Chris Wilding doing his ''Mildred'' voice. Mildred said that she'll go full lesbian with her. She said she'll piss on her face. Brenda said that's very kind of her. She said she's not really interested in that. Mildred said they can fuck to Lawrence Welk. Howard kept Mildred on for a few minutes. She had a bunch of wacky ideas for them. She said she has a pedal powered dildo they can use. She said she'll make her squirt so hard she'll shit.
Howard thanked Brenda for the call. Mildred was still going on and on with the old lady sex talk. Howard cut her off and said he's not sure what Brenda is. Robin said that she doesn't see the dilemma. She said she has been happy her whole life and she has no desire to have sex with a woman. Howard said if you want to have sex with a woman maybe they could have a threesome. Brenda said she could do a threesome. Howard asked how she looks at her age. He asked if she has that old people skin. Brenda said no. She said she has taken care of her skin and it looks good. Howard asked if her arms flap around. She said they do not. She said she has big boobs but they're not as perky as they used to be. Howard asked if they hit her knees. Brenda said they go 2 or 3 ribs down. Howard said he's seen those kind of titties. Howard asked if she has varicose veins. Brenda said she does not.
Robin asked what she wears to the beach. Howard said she wears her liver spots. Brenda said she wears one of those skirt bathing suits. Howard said that's what his mom used to wear. He said she had a big bush to cover. Brenda said she doesn't have any hair to cover up.
Howard said he thinks Robin is right and she doesn't really have a problem. He said she sounds like she has a pretty good sex life. Brenda said her husband thinks it's great that she gets off to the lesbian porn. She said she gives him head and she can get him up enough hot do that. She said he's tickled to death when she has an orgasm. Howard asked if she takes her teeth out to blow him. She said she has her own teeth. Howard said alright then. Robin said he hasn't asked for a picture. Howard said he'd like to see one.
Howard asked what happened with her two other husbands. Brenda said her first one liked toe beat up on her. She said she had to kick him to the curb. She said the other one was kind of a jealous type. She said she had to pull a knife on him once to keep him away from her. She said sometimes you have to defend yourself. Howard said she sure knows how to pick 'em. then she said she's living with her ex and said that's not the one who she pulled the knife on.
Howard said he thinks the Alzheimer's is kicking in so he has to go. He let her go after that. Fred played a bunch of old lady porn drops. Howard said he has to interview Metallica with a big boner after all of that.
Howard played a clip where this couple was talking about some graphic stuff like shitting and the smell. Howard said in a recent episode they demonstrated how to do an afternoon quickie. He said that Lacy was giving very precise instructions for how to bang her. He said it wasn't very sexy. Howard played the clip of them doing that. It was very medical sounding. Howard said it sounds like they're trying to land an airplane.
Lacy was describing in detail what was happening with her while Flynn was banging her. Howard said his dick is kind of going inverted after hearing that.
Howard said then they did a show focused on the male orgasm. He said Lacy yelled at Flynn about not getting hard enough for her. Howard played that clip next. Lacy got upset with him for talking and not getting hard enough. She told him to put his microphone down. Howard said this guy moans like a woman. He said he doesn't make any noise at all when he has sex. He said he's like a movie made in the 1920s.
Howard said he's super masculine in the bedroom. He said this woman yelled at the guy a lot in episodes. He played a montage of the times she was making fun of his erection.
Howard said he's pretty sure this tape is grounds for divorce. He played another clip of Lacy talking about how her pussy can cure the world after Flynn banged her. He played a clip of that happening.
Howard said he may have to bang Robin on air. He said then they did an episode about period sex. Howard played some audio from that where they talked about the period blood and how Flynn thought he had cut his penis. Howard said he thinks he's done with sex after listening to this. He said he's had enough. He played more of that clip and talked about how he went down on a woman who was on her period and he came up looking like a clown.
Howard said this really isn't sexy to listen to. Robin said she's not even talking sexy. She said she's like a school teacher. Howard said he's excited that Metallica is coming in. He said they're so great. He said that he's always excited to talk to them. He said it should be fun. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that's Led Zeppelin ''No Quarter.'' He said he's waiting for the boys to get settled in out in the L.A. studios. He said last time they were on out there they were with Miley Cyrus. He said Elton John called in too. He said that was cool too. He said Lars agreed with him that John Bonham is the best drummer. He said that part is coming up now.
Howard said Lars is a good fucking drummer too. He asked where they are. He said Metallica is one of the greatest rock bands that ever lived. He said he has to get in a rock band. He said just look at these guys. Howard said he has to get down. He said he thinks that if he could play he would be able to jam with the band. Lars said no question.
Howard said he spent the whole night listening to Metallica music and the speed they play at is something. He asked Lars about how he can drum at that pace so early in the morning. He said this new album 72 Seasons is so fast. He played a little bit of something off that album. He asked what the warm up is. Lars explained how it takes longer and longer now. He said they have a guy who has been massaging his shoulders for the last 20-30 minutes. He said he's with them everywhere. He said he does a Peloton for 20 minutes before the show too. He said they're tight on space there so he ran in place in the green room. He said they were on Kimmel's show the other day and it took him an hour and 15 to warm up.
Howard asked what he does to warm up. He asked how he hits the drums. Lars said 95 percent of it is just cardio. He said he has to get his body up to speed. He said it's the same thing on tour. He said they warm up for about 30 minutes before the show. He said they're ready to go out there on stage after that.
Howard asked James about practicing guitar when he was a kid and how he got that speed. He asked how he gets to that point. He asked if he has to do it over and over. James said finger placing for chords is tough to get to know. He said they have a chord they call the Ram Chord. He played some of that for Howard. He demonstrated what they were talking about. Howard asked how he figured out what the hardest sounding thing was. He asked if he heard it in his head. James said it's all Tony Iommi's fault. He said if you don't know stuff you make it up. He said that you make up your own way of doing it. He demonstrated more of that. He said as far as the speed goes it was Slayer that was a big part of that. He said they were in competition with them to see who could go faster. He said there was a lot of that in the old days. He said they realized that there will always be someone faster. He said they just wanted to make it good.
Howard said when he watches them play he doesn't think that he's playing rhythm guitar. He asked what the down pick thing is that they talk about. James demonstrated that for him on his guitar. He said it's more punk and Ramones style. He said sonically it stops the string in a way that sounds more precise and percussive. He showed Howard what that was. Howard said it was just hitting down on the same note. James said it's like what Lars would do on the drums. He said he is a frustrated drummer so that's what he does on the guitar. He's playing drums on the guitar but he plays notes as well.
Howard said he was saying earlier that when James and Kirk are doing their thing it reminds him of what the Allman Brothers would do on guitar. James said that makes sense to him. He said that harmony guitar is a beautiful thing. He said he took piano lessons for a couple of years and his mom saw him beating on the piano. He said he was trying to play drums on piano. He said he learned about how to play and do things with both hands. He said that he's super grateful that his mom put him into that stuff. He said that did help him develop a balance of being able to do left and right stuff like a drummer does.
Howard asked if he hated the piano. James said that he grew up with two older brothers who were into music and he saw what they did. He said that you can't run around with a piano and look cool. He said he wanted to play guitar and sing. He said he wanted to be Steven Tyler and Joe Perry. He said that's what he got to do.
Howard said he doesn't understand how song writers come up with a riff and then figure out what to sing over it. He said he never understood how that works. He asked how they put a tune over a cool riff. He asked if it all starts with the riff. James said it all starts with the riff. James said he has to disconnect from what he has to do and let it come through him. Howard said Kirk came up with that riff from Enter Sandman. He asked Kirk how he came up with that. Kirk played it for Howard and James asked him to play it for him a few times and he did that for him. Kirk said they do a thing with riffs and they will play it for 3 times and then have a tail for that. He said they were morphing it into a workable form.
Lars said he thinks to answer the question is to go back a little bit and remember your influences. He said they are all there because of the things they grew up on. He said he grew up on Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and bands like that. He said that they all have their own arsenal of bands. Lars said that they are inspired by things and they start understanding how they made their songs. He said they would repeat things and have this ''tail'' and it was a lot of three and one. Howard asked what Kirk starts playing after that. Kirk played that and demonstrated how it was three repeats and then a tail.
Howard asked if James has to come up with what to sing over that. James said yes. He explained how that all works for him. He said you have a build up and then there's a verse that comes in. He said it's a simplified version of the riff and then there's the cycle. He said then you have the parts to make the meal and put them wherever you want. He said he knows Howard is shaking his head but it's not that complicated for them. Howard said they came up with the lyric and he wouldn't know what to do if Kirk came to him with that riff.
Lars said there's a little bit more to it. He said they were coming off of the Injustice for All album and they had to reinvent the wheel a little bit after that. He said they were coming up with simplified songs. He said they had about 20-30 riffs that they had come up with. He said they had to go through them and figure out what they could use to write a song about. He said in the case of this riff it was something that sounded like a foundation of a song. He said they took that and made it more of a hook. He said he and James sat down and tried to write a song about one riff that had never been done before. He said they did one riff through the whole song. He said that led to what James just played and then the main riff and the verse riff. Lars said then they came up with the simplest song they had ever written and that was how they did the album. He said there's a lot of work that goes into it. He said there's a lot of lingo they have for what they do. He said they know each other and this is what happens when you work together for so many years. He said they have their own language and that's how they do what they do. He said that's what happens when you put your 10,000 hours in.
James said that Lars will ask him to do something in a different key and that can make a song different. He said he tries it and they can push each other to do more. He said they will ask each other to do that and they come up with new things. Lars said with this bunch of guys they leave their egos outside and they don't tell the other guys not to tell them what to play. He said they try things. He said they have trust and then you have love. He said they don't get into each other's stuff and that's a great thing.
Howard said what he loves about them is that they let Bob Rock help them out and produce the Black album. He said he's not sure how they trusted that guy. He said to let a guy in to do that is something. He said they didn't trust him in the beginning. He said that had to require a lot of trust. James said it could have been anyone. He said they knew they needed help though.
Howard said he thinks that their first couple of albums they pushed the limits. He said they went so fast and it was so incredible. He said they were never going to be a commercial success doing what they were doing. He said they had pushed it so far and had gone so fast that they needed help. He said they had to bring it to another level. Lars said the sound part was the big thing. He said they felt they had met their potential on the sonic side of it. He said Bob had made an album with The Cult, Bon Jovi and other bands. He said they needed help to make their songs sound better. He said back in the 80s and 90s so much was placed on the sonics and the sound. He said you'd spend a week on a drum sound alone. He said that they would move things around the room trying to make it sound different. He said in the 80s they had Mutt Lange and guys like that working on the sonics and sounds like that. He said that they were working with a guy who recorded them but they also wanted the sounds to be bigger so they went to meet Bob. He said they got to know each other and pushed each other.
Howard asked if it was intentional not to put out videos for MTV. He said he kind of like that they were mysterious with the band. He said you need MTV to get recognition in those days. Howard asked why they broke down and made a video. James said they wanted to have a video on there but they wouldn't touch them. He said they were kind of the enemy. He said what he remembers is that there was so much talk about Metallica. He said they had so much talk about them that they asked them to do something for them. He said they did something that didn't fit the mould. Howard asked if they made a video and submitted it to them and it got rejected. Lars said no to that. He said they played both sides of that. He said they weren't cool enough for MTV and then they were like ''fuck you'' we don't want to be on MTV. He said through the years they didn't want to play the game and bow to the man. He said there was a lot of pride in that.
Howard said there must have been pressure to wear Spandex and things like that. Lars said their manager was the barrier to that. He said they had some other bands managed by the same guys and they protected them. He said they felt pretty safe. He said they weren't going to go down that path and they didn't feel too much pressure to do it. He said it almost became a thing though because they had to do something. He said they had the song ''One'' that could be visualized without that kind of Spandex look. He said it was sinister and unique and they were able to use the ''Johnny Got his Gun'' movie that they used for the video. He said the video came out and it became number 1. He said it was like holy shit there are thousands of people who want something different out there. He said it was a big day when that video went to number 1 and stayed here for like 8 weeks. Howard said that was a very cool video.
Howard asked Kirk about why he says he struggled with the lead on One. Kirk explained how some of the solos in there are tough and he had put down some stuff that he went back to later and didn't think it was right for the song. He said he had to go in and re-do one of the solos while they were out on tour. He said he had 3 hours to do it. He said the second solo is the one that's on the album. He said he didn't quite hit the mark on what he wanted to do. He said you have to live with it the rest of your life if it's on an album.
Howard asked kirk what he was playing while James was talking earlier. Kirk said he was trying to keep his hands warm by running scales. He said he was just going through his modes. Howard asked him to demonstrate it for him. Kirk did his thing going up and down the scales. He said it's basically Joy to the World. He went through the process he has for doing all of that. He said it works beautifully for all types of music and it's a great warm up as well. He said he can do a chord relay thing that's kind of crazy too. He demonstrated that and said he learned that from Joe Satriani in 1982. He said he still does it to this day.
Howard asked why he loves the Les Paul guitar. Kirk said that they're really unique. He said they came out in 1952 and they had a certain type of construction. He said they changed them in 1957. He said they're super touch sensitive. He said they age well too. He said PAF pickups age like wine. He said these have been around since 1959. He said you can't pick up a new guitar and expect it to sound like this. He said certain Les Pauls sound different after aging.
Howard said that it sounds like there's so much you need to know. He said even James seems to be baffled by all of this. James said he thought that Kirk was just nervous over there playing like that. He did his impression of him doing the chord thing.
Howard said Kirk bought a guitar for a couple million. Kirk said he didn't pay that. He said it's just the rumor. He said this guy was kind of strapped for money and he wanted 2 million. He asked the guys to bring in ''Greeny'' the guitar. He said once he played the guitar he had to have it. He said that Peter Green bought this thing in 1965 and he started Fleetwood Mac and then sold it to another guy for $150 and the guy had it for years and years.
James said he played it before Kirk and he rejected it. He said that he was asking a lot of money for it.
Kirk got Greeny and tried to play it but it wasn't turning on. He said it may need to go to the shop. It eventually turned on so he played it for Howard. He said it's got some great sustain and things like that. He said the sound is out of phase. He showed Howard all of this. Kirk said once he played it he had to have it. He said he was willing to pay the guy whatever he wanted. He said it sleeps wherever he sleeps now. He said the list of guys who played it goes on and on.
Howard said James doesn't buy into all of this. He said he just plays guitar. James said he does buy into it. He said he gets what he's saying about the mojo and things like that. He said the older guitars that just sit in a case in a collector's closet need to be played. He said they need to have the fingers to unlock them. He said he gets what Kirk is saying. He said he's very into the sonics of a guitar. He said he's more about consistency. He said it's also about comfort for him. He said he can kind of play anything but Kirk wants that sound. He said he played the guitar and he was going to turn the pickup the other way around. He said that they told him he can't do that.
Howard asked if James has old guitars. James said he does. He said that it's more about the shape and how it fits his body. He said if he's feeling better he's going to play better.
Kirk said Rob has a very important bass. Howard asked Rob what he has. Rob said he has a Jaco Pastorius bass. He said it's got a lot of history and there are riffs that were played on it. He said it wants to speak. He said he gets it. He said he's not a big collector or anything.
Howard asked Rob what he played for his audition for the band. Rob said he thinks it was ''Battery.'' He said he's not sure but he thinks that there was a stock list of songs and he figured he had to go for one of the more intense ones. He said he had to do something that was intricate. He said he thinks he knocked it out of the park because he is there right now.
Howard said Ozzy was the guy who invited them to come on tour with him. He said they must love the guy. Lars said they do. Howard asked what happened there. Lars went into a story about how Ozzy would take bands out like Motley Crue. He said it was their turn in 1986. He said that Ozzy and Sharon had a lot to do with that. He said that they were kind enough to give them a shot. He said 5 years earlier they were trying to figure out what they were going to do. He said they were playing arenas around America. He said it was wild. Lars said they were playing to an unsuspecting crowd. He said they could feel the tides were turning and they had not experienced what they were doing. He said 45 minutes into the show the crowd was into it and getting it. He said it was their first go round with the big leagues. He said they would warm up playing Black Sabbath songs and Ozzy thought they were taunting him. They broke into some Black Sabbath for a few seconds. Lars said they were playing that because they wanted him to sing with them. He said they were just trying to get their hero to come up and sing with them. Lars said they played with them for 6-8 months and it was a lot of fun.
Howard asked why Ozzy was so generous. He said a lot of bands don't want a great band there playing. He said he imagines that they blew the fucking doors off with those concerts. He said Ozzy kept them around too. Kirk said it says a lot for Ozzy's character. He said he gave them a chance. He said he didn't feel threatened and he never kicked them off. He said he kept supporting him.
Howard said they did get to play a couple of songs with Ozzy. Rob said that Ozzy has been there and he understands where it all comes from. He said he gets that he has to help. Lars said he was the king of that period. He said that he was helping out the next bands. He said they saw both sides of it out there and there was some ill will out there. He said Ozzy's camp was so comfortable that they didn't need to do that. He said it was a better night for them if they had a good support act. He said they do the same thing with bands now. He said they're proud and grateful to have that opportunity with Ozzy. Howard played some audio of the guys playing ''Iron Man'' with Ozzy.
Howard said the guys are smiling. He said they must love this. Lars asked if that was from Madison Square Garden. Howard said that might be it. Lars said that was a great night. He said they hosted three or four other artists and they got to play with Lou Reed and Ray Davies too. He said that was a highlight for them.
Howard said maybe they can do this now. He said he was talking about covers and how they did this Bob Seger song ''Turn the Page.'' Lars said they started out as a cover band. He said they would go out and play them and that got them out there and playing. He said other people's material has been a part of their DNA. He said they put a lot of time into their own songs and they sometimes just want to play. Lars said that they put out a lot of records playing cover songs and in the 90s the idea came up to do some more cover songs so they sat down and came up with some songs they wanted to cover. Lars was going on and on with this story about how they came up with the idea of covering it. He said he could hear James singing it in his head. He said he knew he'd do great with the song. He said everyone was on board when he suggested it. He said they did a bunch of covers for that album. He ran through some of the songs they did. He said Turn the Page became a big hit.
Howard said speaking of videos he loves the one they did for that song. He said MTV banned it because Ginger Lynn was in it. He said that they changed the meaning of the song for him with that video. He said it was about a call girl who had to support her kid. H said MTV refused to play it. Lars said there were a couple of versions of that. He said they had the director who did ''Smack My Bitch Up'' and his take on it was very abstract. He said that's where that came from. Lars said there were a couple of versions that did make it on MTV at some point.
Howard said he loves this version of the song. He said he loves that there's no saxophone in it. He said he can't stand that. James said he agrees. Howard said they took this song to a new level. He said Bob must like it. Lars said he has said he was very complimentary of their version and interpretation of it.
Kirk said he was thinking that he could play that sax part with his guitar and a slide. He said that he was going to do that. He said he was happy he did. He said this is way to pretend that he's Duane Allman for a few minutes.
Howard asked the guys to do the song. The guys had to warm up a few and then went into the song ''Turn the Page.''
After the song Howard said that was great. He said that's a great song. James said that it's a great song that gets in your head. He said it's a great song writer too. He said that the road can be a service. Howard said it seems like James is an underrated guitar player. He asked if it bothers him at all that he's not noted enough for being a great guitar player. James said it doesn't bother him at all. He said he has a place in the band and he gets to sing and play. He said that other stuff doesn't matter. He said they respect each other and they give each other the praise they need.
Howard said that Kirk should be mentioned with Eddie Van Halen. He said Rob too. He said they're all so good. Kirk said it's about making great music and that is satisfying enough for him. He said it's not about status. He said that just being able to play guitar means something to him. James said it's not just about the single person. He said they're all pretty good but then they make the magic when they get together. He said that's what it's like to join a band of brothers.
Howard said Lars is great on drums. He said he loves the way he plays. He said he keeps his heels up high. Lars played a little bit for him. Howard asked him to do that by himself for a little bit. Lars played ''One'' for a few seconds and showed how fast he moves his feet. Howard said he can't move his foot that fast. He asked if lifting his heels is how he does that. Lars said he appreciates the question. He said as they got more successful they wanted more answers about what they do. He said he realized that he stomps on the kick drum. James said he's basically running. Howard asked if his ankles hurt playing like that. Lars said it's about he shoulder and the elbows. He said his feet are okay but the shoulder and elbows bother him. He said the fast kick drum stuff flows pretty easy for him. He played a little bit here and there for Howard as he was talking about how he plays. He said he has thrown his shoulder out from time to time.
Howard asked what the hardest song is for him to play. Lars said that there are some physical songs like Enter Sandman. They broke into a little bit of that. Lars said the hardest are the songs that you have to play with your mind. He said there's a lot to remember with some songs.
Howard said there's a lot of pressure. Lars said there's this part of ''One'' that's fairly easy but then there's a tough part. He played that part for Howard. The whole band played that part of ''One.'' Howard said even his elbows hurt from that. He said that's intense. Lars spent more time talking about the tough parts of playing. He said it's the mental stuff that's the hardest. He said some of their older songs are tough too. He said they've had to edit them over the years to make them less physical.
Howard said they were talking about the Blackened song and he wonders if they play that acoustically. Lars went into one of his long winded stories about that song. He said they have done some of the songs acoustically and they have fun doing that. He said James during the pandemic asked them to do something different. He had them do this acoustic version of Blackened. He said they played it a few times but not this year yet.
Howard said they must not be nervous playing it today. James said they may screw it up today. He said we'll have to see. Howard said he's excited about this. He asked James if he has any memories about the song. James said it was just about playing fast and crazy. He said he wanted to get a speeding ticket from Slayer. James said this is one of those songs they wanted to try doing differently and they gave it a shot. Howard said fans go crazy for this kind of thing. He said he's excited to hear this. Lars said it would be fun to play it the O.G. way too. He said if a song has a great bridge and chords it doesn't matter what speed you play it at. He said if the basic bones are good then it should work in different ways.
Howard played some of the original version of ''Blackened'' and then had the guys go into this acoustic version of it.
After the song Howard said that was good. He said he's not sure what to even say. Robin said it was beautiful. The guys said hi to Robin.
Howard said that was really good. Lars said that was fun. He said they have done a lot of reinterpretations of their songs and some work out. He said that one lands in a good place.
Howard said watching Kirk doing the lead made him think that was really difficult. Kirk said he had to switch pickups when he started to play. He said he was kind of upset by that. He said after the song it was working fine. He said he's looking at his tech and he's wondering why this stuff still happens. Howard said they don't know the difference. He said it was still a great version of the song.
Howard said the song is basically a song about the world being in bad shape. James said that nuclear war is the fear. He said it can be about him too. He said the darkness inside and all of that. He said it changes meanings so that's the other joy of being in a band. He said that you can get a tattoo and change the meaning of it too. He said he has heard songs that he heard a certain way and they change meanings over the years.
Howard said he likes the story about ''The Memory Remains'' and James didn't want to sing the ''la, la, la'' part. He said they got Marianne Faithful to sing it. He said that song is one of the best they ever did. Howard played some of the song. He asked if he didn't have a lyric for that at the time. James said he thinks it was intentional and it was about someone being lost in the past and that's all they can see. He said he wanted a weathered voice for that. He said that Bob suggested Marianne. He said she nailed it too. Howard said it is incredible.
Lars said he and James went to Ireland to get the recording and they carried the 2 inch tape with them. He said that she was the sweetest person too. He said they gelled instantly and sat around drinking wine for a couple of hours. He said she kind of went out and did her thing and he thinks they got it on the first or second take. Howard said that's unbelievable to him. Lars said he thinks they tried some things after and they didn't work. He said they went with the first thing they came up with. He said they went with their instincts. He said she came out and sang with them on Saturday Night Live once. He said she was in the video and she did some concerts with them. He said she's always been very sweet.
Lars said he and Kirk were talking about how they went out to dinner once with Marianne and Anita Pallenberg. He said it was wild. He said they were trying to come up with things to talk about and they had some crazy stories there. Lars said they never would have thought that they'd be out to dinner with those people when they were 17. He said 25 years later they're in Nobu with Anita and Marianne. He said you couldn't script that. He said that they were just misfits and outcasts.
Howard said people don't remember what misfits they were. He said they came on the scene and the jocks hated them. He said it was the weirdos listening to Metallica. He said they changed music. He said they came around and amped it up to where AC/DC sounded slow. He said it was like they were from another era. He said that's the magic of Metallica for him.
James said they wanted people to pay attention to them. He said that's what it was all about.
Lars said there was a monumental shift in music in the late 80s and early 90s. He said they were talking about it and how things were really changing. He said in the 90s all of the bands that were changing things became the mainstream. He said they were outsiders and then they woke up one day and the outsiders were now the mainstream. He said it fucks with everyone in different ways. He said it was strange to wake up like that. He said it was an interesting time. He said it's interesting that they're still around and so are so many other bands from back in those days.
Howard said they're the last of a breed. He said he's not sure there will be any big bands like they are. He said he should mention that they're playing the Power Trip tour this fall. He said that should be interesting. He said they don't sit around and bond with the bands do they. Lars said he'll be the first one in and the last one out. He said he went to the one called Desert Trip in 2016 or 17. He said it was insane. He said this is the hard rock version of it so he'll be there the whole weekend. James said he's not going at all.
Howard said it's getting late. He said he wants to talk about the new album (72 Seasons). He said he's been listening a lot to it. He asked if he can tell them his favorite song. He said it's ''You Must Burn.'' He played some of that and said this is the best. He said that he's not sure who is singing backup but this guy is good. Howard said this is some heavy stuff. Robin said it's kind of sexy too. The guys said that's what they're going for.
Howard said he looked up the song and said this is the first time Robert sang backup vocals. Rob said other than shouting yes. Howard said he'd pick that one as a single. He said that was his first impression. He said that's a beautiful tune. He said it's very heavy too.
Howard said the album is 72 Seasons and this is the title track. He played some of that. Howard asked how difficult that is to play on bass. Rob played some for Howard. Howard said that's fantastic. He said it takes a lot of practice to do that. James said there are a couple of things where Rob is shining on this album. Rob said there was a lot they did on this album that brought them close after not being in the studio for a while.
Howard asked Rob about the song writing process and how he's involved. They went through that for a short time.
Howard asked the guys to play ''Lux Eterna'' next. Howard asked what they have to say about this song. they talked about how they wanted to name the album Lux Eterna but that didn't work out. They spent a little time going over the story behind the name of the album and all of that. James explained that 72 seasons is the first 18 years of your life so that's where that comes from. Howard talked to James and Lars about the name of the album for a few minutes and then had them perform the song ''Lux Eterna.'' (This was about 2 hours into this interview and I wasn't able to pay attention anymore. There is such thing as 'too much of a good thing.' I had to step away from my computer for a few minutes. I apologize for missing that.)
The guys played ''Lux Eterna'' and after the song Howard said that was great. He said he just destroyed his studio. He said it's nuts what they do. James said that's about going on tour and feeling the energy. He said it's all the stuff you get at a gig. He said that's what that's about. Howard said Robin lit her breasts on fire. Robin said stop looking at her. Howard said that was some fucking number. Lars said it was fun to play at this time of morning. Howard said he stuck his own fist up his own ass.
Howard told a story about going to see them perform with that orchestra. He said he didn't know them that well but he pulled his friend's pants down in the front row. He said then they cut off his foreskin and cooked it.
Howard said the guys killed it today. He said he'll wrap things up since it's been 2 hours now. Howard said they have to dissect the songs they've done. He said there's so many songs. He said it's really something to watch. He gave them some plugs and wrapped up the interview.
Howard let the guys go around 11:10am. He spent a while talking to Richard who was near tears talking about how great that interview was. Howard said he needs like 25 hours with them. He had a lot of things he wanted to talk to them about. He ended up talking to Richard about it instead. Ralph called in to talk about how great the interview was too. (I zoned out around 11:15. Sorry. By 11am I'm just done.)
Howard finally ended the show around 11:35am.