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Howard asked Rooster what he was saying. Rooster said he has merch on his merch store and he wanted to ask Walmart to help the creators out since they could sell for them.
Howard said there are people who think they have an original idea and they don't. He said this isn't a thing. He said other people think they invented something and it's already out there. He said Walmart came out with something for creators last month. Rooster said that was his idea. Howard said it's not that novel of an idea. Rooster said if they had it already why didn't they offer him to join. Howard said they don't care about him. He said they're not thinking about him. He said there are a lot of people out there who can do what he's talking about and it's nothing new. Rooster said exactly. Howard said don't call yourself a creator. He said if he had called up and said he started a store called Walmart and it's taking off and they're creating a content portal maybe he'd have something. He said he knows he wants to claim they stole his idea. Rooster said he has emails where they said they have never heard of any of these ideas. Howard said he wants to hear these emails. He asked him to read some to him. Rooster said he'll go back and find them. Howard said he's not even sure what he wants to do. He asked if he wants to sue them over this.
Rooster said he gave them this idea in mid-summer. He said he gave the idea to Anthony Williams. Howard said here are a lot of managers out there and their job is to be nice to him. He said that's what this guy was doing. Howard did his impression of Rooster telling this Anthony guy his idea. He had Anthony just playing along to make Rooster feel good.
Rooster said with him having almost 2 million followers why didn't they ask him to join. Howard said they don't give two fucks about him. He said he hates to break it to him but that's how it is. Robin asked where his email is. Rooster said he'll have to find it. He said he's not sure why they ghosted him. Howard said they get a lot of email from people who think they created stuff for his show. He said there are people who get ripped off out there. He said he has been one of those people who got ripped off. He said this is absurd what Rooster is thinking. He said he's seen a million people come up with an idea like this.
Howard took a call from the fake head of Walmart who was laughing about stealing this idea from Rooster. The guy said that they're going to have Rooster come and stand at the door and welcome people to Walmart.
Howard said he called Walmart once about 5 years ago and told them about the internet and said maybe they can do something with that. He said they stole his idea. He said they had a web site up in months. He said they should hire a lawyer and sue them over this stuff. He thanked Rooster for the call.
Howard asked Rooster if he has any fast food content. Rooster said he'll go gather some up. Howard said that's what he's good at.
Howard said he called Apple up in 2007 and suggested they merge a phone and a computer together. He said then he called this guy Elon up and said an electric car would be a good idea. Rooster said that they should put an alternator on the car and it would be self charging. Howard said Rooster should take that to them.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she lives in Arkansas where Walmart is based. She said that Walmart is a half a trillion dollar company and she can't believe that Rooster thinks he came up with that idea first. Howard said he is an influencer and a content creator. He said he does have a catchy name though.
Howard said there's a guy down south saying that he's going to fix every election so the republicans win every time. Robin said that's like Putin making it so he wins every time. Howard said he never thought this would be the situation here. Howard said he thought we liked free elections. He said he used to believe in the republican party. He said he can't go along with this nonsense about this election thing. He said this is why you don't hear from George Bush or any mainstream republicans now. He said it's a weird thing now. Howard said there are people saying they think the country is being stolen from them by the democrats. He said this is crazy. He said that he thinks Biden is doing a good job. He said of course we have problems. He said oil prices are up. He said the one thing we've got is our freedom to elect assholes and kick assholes out of office. He said when you hear a guy say that all elections are rigged it's out there. He said the went to court over it and they had no evidence of anything. He said the elections were up and up. He said they feel the election is stolen if they lost but fine if they won. He said they have a guy running for governor there in New York and he's an election denier. He said a lot of people think the economy is the problem. He said the economy is bad all over the world. He said it's not just here.
Howard said he likes waking up here and knowing that the people all believe in America and not in a dictatorship. He said that's it. He said that's the only issue on the table. He said there are a lot of people out there blaming the blacks and Jews for all of the problems out there. He said there aren't enough of either of them to be the problem.
Howard said he was reading this article by Bob Lefsetz where he was talking about this speech that John Mellencamp was making about this guy and he starts to say the guy was a Jew. He said that Bob thought that he was going to go off on some rant but what Mellencamp did was talk about how great this guy was in his career. He said John went on to stand for his Jewish friends and said fuck anti-Semitism and all of that. He said this is the kind of humanity you expect to see.
Howard said this Kyrie Irving is a complete douche bag. He said he's a flat earther. He said he's a fucking douche bag. He played a clip of Irving talking about how the Earth has to be flat and there's no explanation for anything different.
Howard said listen to this guy. He said Kyrie posted on Twitter something from a book about how the Jews are killing the world. He said there was a shit storm over this. He said he was called out for posting it and he was denying it wasn't promotion for this stuff. He played another clip of Irving being asked about promoting this stuff by retweeting it on his account. Irving said he just puts stuff out there like this reporter does. Irving kept telling the guy to move on.
Howard said the guy just wants to hate the Jews. He said he's asking to be left alone so he can keep doing that. Howard said the guy is just an NBA player. He said the Earth is flat and he hates the Jews. He said just leave him be. He said the whole world has gone nuts.
Howard said people feel like the can just say any dumb thing that's on their brain. He said this moron just wants to say what he wants to say. He said all dummies are coming forward now. He said this guy Hershel Walker may win in Georgia. He said that there may be another civil war. He said he's not sure how you elect someone who is so dumb.
Howard said he has a game to play where he'll ask if a Wack Packer or Hershel Walker said it. He said he's not sure what to call this guy. He said he's a dummy.
Howard played a clip of Walker saying if we came from apes then why are there still apes. He said it doesn't make any sense. Howard said people who don't think always say ''think about it!'' when they're done.
Howard asked who said this about climate change. He said ''Democrats created climate changes... It's not getting any hotter where I live...'' Howard asked who said that, Hershel or a Wack Packer. Robin said she's going to say that was a Wack Packer. Howard said she is actually right. He said it was Wendy the Slow Adult. He played a clip of her saying all of that.
Howard had a quote about abortion where someone was saying that babies shouldn't be killed when they're just a fetus. He read the quote about the woman just laying down to have the kid if they can lay down to make the kid. Robin said she can imagine a number of Wack Packers saying that. Howard said of course. He said you can imagine Hershel Walker saying that. Robin said she's going to say Wack Packer. Howard said she's right again. He said that was Bigfoot. He played a clip of him saying all of that.
Howard said someone said this about the confederate flag. He read a quote about how there is no answer about why this flag isn't a good flag. Robin said she thinks that's Hershel Walker. Howard said that's Tan Mom. He played a clip of her talking about that flag thing.
Howard said this person said something about climate change. He read the quotes about climate change and how a lot of the money they get is going to trees and we don't have enough trees around here. Robin said that has to be a Wack Packer. Howard said that was in fact Hershel Walker. Howard played a clip of that bat shit crazy talk.
Howard said someone said something about health care in this country. In the quote the person was going around in circles about health care and how you'll have it or not have it. Robin said she's guessing that was Walker. Howard said it was. He played a clip of Walker talking in circles and not making any sense. Howard said there is a real fucking problem there. He said his brain shows that we do need more health care in this country.
Howard read a quote about gun control. He said this person said we should stomp on it and asked if we don't have guns what are we going to shoot people with, bow and arrow? Robin said she's going to say that was Hershel Walker. Howard said it is Bigfoot. He played a clip.
Howard read a quote about inflation and looking at the prices of gas at the pumps and how we could get the gas from Canada and lower the prices. Howard was going on and on with that quote. Robin said that has to be Hershel. Howard said it was actually Bobo. He played a clip of Bobo going on and on about this stuff. He was blaming the Biden administration for all of this stuff.
Howard said now we have people who make no sense. He said they don't believe in democracy.
Howard said he should play one more. He said he doesn't know. He read a quote about air pollution and the person was going on about the green new deal and how the air is being cleaned up but we don't control the air so the good air goes to China and the bad air moves to our good air space and we have to clean that up. Robin said that has to be Wack Pack. Howard said that was actually Hershel Walker. He played a clip.
Howard said the people in there should be thinking they can't vote for this guy but the just sit there laughing. Howard said there you go. He said the whole thing is fucking weird. He said he voted here in New York. He said they have a guy running who is an election denier. Robin said he's getting close to their current governor. She said she was shocked to hear it was a tight race. Howard said he and Beth voted. He said he votes all the time. He said he has to.
Howard said based on this they're saying that Bigfoot is leading the Georgia race. He said you wonder if this is really a thing. Robin said you wonder if people are seeing any clearer. She said it's depressing to think about.
Howard said he would say go vote but only if you think our democracy is about to go under. He said don't vote if you don't think the same way.
Howard said he doesn't want to get any more political. He said please vote though. He said if you disagree with everything he's saying then stay home because there's something wrong with you.
Howard said he's not sure if anyone wants to hear this stuff he has to play. He said he'll play this. He said this crazy woman is running who used to be a broadcaster. He said he's going to skip this. He said he was going to play it but it might be too much. He said he's not sure he'd want to hear this if he was driving around in his car. He said maybe they should talk about what went on with Sal and Richard during Cocktober.
Howard said he and his friends used to drive a teacher crazy and he heard she went into a mental institution. He said this poor guy must be the same. He said he loves those phony phone calls. He said good job boys.
Howard said that album is pretty cool. He said he loves hearing the demo songs. He said he liked Yellow Submarine with John Lennon singing it. He said he loves this shit. He played some of that demo he was talking about. He also played the end result with the album version of the song.
Howard said Robin was fasting this weekend. Robin said yes. Howard asked how long she's been doing this. Robin said this is day 6. Howard said he kept saying to his wife that Robin was fasting and he was eating. He said she has to be woozy. Robin said getting up this early is tough when you're fasting. Howard said he's not sure what she's doing over there. Robin said she's working on her health. She said there are a lot of amazing things that happen when you're fasting. She said your body turns on it's resources. Howard asked if she even shits. Robin said no. She said there's nothing to come out.
Howard asked if she's drinking a protein shake or anything. Robin said not at all. She said it's broth and water and some tea. She said she feels better than she has in a long time. She said she was having a lot of pain and now she's pain free. She said she can walk up a dune now. She said she had trouble doing that over the summer.
Howard asked if her breasts are getting smaller. Robin said they are. She said she had to get new bras and clothes. He said she had to get it all. She said she had to go shopping to find out what size she was. Howard asked how she feels about eating a carrot. Robin said she doesn't really like them.
Howard asked if she still has her old bras. Robin said she does. She said she's holding on to them. She said she got rid of clothes in her closet. She said she sees those bras and she as floating in them. Howard asked what is going on over there.
Howard took call from Robin audio clips who were singing and shitting. Robin said that's what she sounded like on Friday. She said she was exploding like that. Howard let the guys keep playing the shitting and singing drops.
Howard said this is great because he should be doing this when he has to do interviews. He said he should do this when he has to visit his mother.
Howard said here are news outlets reporting on this like it was real. He said the video has 16 million views. He played a clip of a news report where they reported on the interview like it was real.
Howard said Gary was getting all kinds of calls about the interview. He said there were other people out there who wouldn't mention his name even though it was a fake interview. He said they called him a ''very important person'' instead of saying his name. Howard played a clip where this radio guy wouldn't say his name. Howard said he thinks that radio guys are still operating like there's still some kind of war going on. He said he's not in competition with the Morning Mess show. He said they've won. He said no one is going to tune into his show if they mention his name.
Howard said he remembers that Aaron Carter started this thing where he would show his penis for money. Chris Wilding used to check that out. Chris got on and told Howard some of the stuff that Aaron would do. He said he had a very big penis and he remembers him blowing a very big load. He said it was real thick kind of load. He said it was meaty.
Robin said she's trying to get into the obituary mode but she's thinking about what kind of obituary this is. Howard asked if this is making Robin hungry. Robin said not at all. She said when she eats she's going to eat something that tastes good.
Howard asked if Robin is going longer than 6 days. Robin said Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. Chris said look at what happened to him.
Howard asked if Robin talked to Dr. Agus about this. Robin said she doesn't talk to him about what she eats. Howard asked when she's going to stop this fasting. Robins said her body will tell you when it's time to eat. Howard said it must be telling her that now. Robin said she's not hungry. Howard said her breath must be bad. Robin said not at all. She said she has never had that problem.
Chris did his Dr. Now impression and talked to Robin about the dangerous thing she's doing. He told her to eat some food. He said her titties are going to be deflated like two popped balloons. He said she has to start eating.
Howard said she's gone down a whole cup size already. Dr. Now said she's going to die. He said she has to eat. He said she's going to have a big problem. Howard asked if he can just remove her stomach. Dr. Now said he'll get her to eat 1200 calorie.
Howard took call from a guy who said he was following Robin during the summer when she started fasting. He said he lost 51 pounds already. Howard said look at that. Howard had Dr. Now comment on that. Chris did his thing and went off on Robin again for thinking this is sustainable. He said she'll be fine until she drops dead walking up a dune. He said she'll be buried in that dune.
Howard said this caller lost 51 pounds. Robin asked if he's healthier now. Howard had already hung up on him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a big fan. Howard asked if this is Dr. Now's son. He wasn't easily understandable. Howard had him try again. He had hung up by then.
Howard said he knew a woman who came over from China and he called her Linda but she had some name that wasn't pronounceable. He said they just named her Linda when she got there to the nail salon she worked at.
Howard got back to the Aaron Carter thing and read about how he died in a bathtub. He read some details about his career and how he had a triple platinum album. He said he had a big hit with a remake of ''I Want Candy.'' He played some of that. He said that Aaron had an account where he'd jerk off for money. He said Chris watched that. Chris said he watched that up in Canada at his mother's house. He said that he and Ralph were texting back and forth about that.
Howard joked that he timed his cum shot to go along with Aaron's. He said he didn't know they were live. He said there's a lot of foreign language porn on YouPorn now. He said he doesn't know what language they're speaking but it sounds very European. He said sometimes he's standing there rubbing his cock wondering if he's going to stick with this. He said he doesn't know what they're saying and he didn't get to hear the preamble and all of that.
Howard said he found a lesbian porn where it said this girl loses her lesbian virginity. He said he thought that was right up his alley. He said he got ready to do his thing. He said he had his tissues all set up. He said these two attractive women were doing their thing and this woman has her friend come over to help her out. He said the lesbian checks out this girl's ass and she helps her with her computer. He said the lesbian wants to give her a massage to pay her back. He said she takes her and throws her down on the bed. He said they start kissing. He said he needs a build up. He said that's not what they were doing. He said the just start kissing and then they're 69'ing. He said there was no resistance. He said he's tugging on his little ween and he thinks he was done. He said nothing happened. He said he lost interest and put everything away.
Howard said he deleted his browser history. He said his browser is hard to work. He said you delete the history and then you go back an it reappears. He said he goes back in and deletes is a second time. He said then it's gone. He said then he selects thing that are normal during his day. He said that way his wife won't think he's a fucking weirdo.
Howard said he tried twice or three times over the weekend to tug it. He said he gets so defeated. He said it just sucks. He said he doesn't even care if he doesn't cum. Chris said he came like 5 times on Sunday. Howard said he should be doing that because he's a young man. Chris said he'd like to get laid but that hasn't happened lately.
Howard said Chris has a ways to go before he catches up to him. He said at 34 he was swimming in his own cum. He said he should be jerking off a lot. He said he could fill a spackle bucket back in his day.
Howard got back to Aaron Carter who was just a year old. He said Aaron was trying to get custody of the kid. He said he's not sure what happened but the guy is gone now.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about the Dickathlon. He said that was great. He said they told Pete that he can't go up to women at the nude beaches and ask about his penis. Chris said the only attention he was getting was from gay men. Howard said Pete wasn't even against going back to their tent with them. Chris said he took Pete into a room and recorded something with him about blowing him. He said Pete didn't say no. Ralph said he probably has some stories. Robin said he did chub up when the gay guys were complimenting his penis. Ralph said it just makes your day.
Howard said Pete looks like the dude from Beavis and Butt-Head. He said he's not sure which one is which. He said he must look like Butt-Head. He said he's not sure. He was actually talking about Beavis.
Howard read through some feedback about the Dickathlon from last week. He had a lot of positive comments about that. Howard said they put the video up and it looks really wild. Chris said it was really funny.
Howard played a clip of Chris talking to Pete privately about maybe doing something with him. Pete was stammering all over the place asking him about what he's done. Pete said he would take a blow job from him if he's given them to straight guys before.
Howard asked Richard what's up. Richard said he's just enjoying this. He said Pete was so great. He said he looked at Sal's dick and said ''What the fuck?'' like he was seeing a monster or something. He said Sal was bummed about that. Howard asked Sal if he tried to defend it. Sal said he did not. He said Robin said it looks like something that should be exterminated. Howard had some fan feedback about that comment. He said he felt for Sal after that.
Howard read more feedback about the Dickathlon from last week. He had fans asking where this ranks with Sal and Richard's stunts. Howard said back in 2007 Richard licked Sal's balls for a $5,000 prize. He said he'll play a clip to remind people. Richard said he put his tongue right on his balls. Howard played a clip and Richard did his thing and Sal said he can't believe he's doing this. Richard had to do it for 10 seconds.
Howard said the only way they could top this is if the have full on gay sex. Robin said their penises did touch during this Cocktober thing. Richard said if you look at the pictures it looks like they're having gay sex. Gary said that's why he's there. He said it was good natured most of the time. He said he wasn't able to get the visual out of his head with Richard pumping on Sal. He said if you didn't know what they were doing you'd think they were having gay sex.
Ralph asked if Richard was in debt back in 2007 because she needed that money so bad. Richard said he was. He said he needed that money. Howard asked if Richard would let Sal cum in his mouth for 25 grand. Richard said that would have to start at 50,000. He said it would have to go up from there.
Chris said he's come down because he agreed to blow Ronnie for a million. Howard said he's waiting for it to come down to 10 grand.
Howard said Sal kissed Richard's taint in 2010. He played a clip from that show. Sal was just about vomiting from the stink.
Howard said he thinks they were trying to figure out just how much freedom Sirius was going to give them back then.
Howard read more fan feedback about the Dickathlon show they did last week. He read through some of that and said when you see the video of this stuff it's pretty funny. Richard said it looked like Pete was thing to blow himself whenever he was talking into his microphone.
Howard said they got some behind the scenes audio when Pete came in for the rehearsal. He said he asked to make sure everyone was okay seeing his penis. He said he was doing that over and over again. He said that has to do with his OCD most likely. Robin said he wants everyone to comment on it. Howard played a clip of Pete asking if it was okay for everyone to see his penis.
Howard said Pete wanted to get hard for his performance so his microphone would stay on his penis. He said they had to tell him there was no manipulation allowed. He said Derek had to tell Pete that. He played a clip of Derek telling Pete that he can't do that in there. Memet told Pete to just blame it on the tape being cold.
Howard said he liked Pete being so naked. He said he was so skinny. Robin said he looked like he was turning into Brindle Fly.
Howard said Jon Leiberman talked to a urologist about that segment. He played a clip of Jon talking to the guy about the size of Pete's penis. The guy said that Pete does have an above average sized penis. He said he might be in the one percentile. Howard said he loves Jon getting so worked up over that news.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Medicated Pete who was asking if the wanted to see his penis. Howard said he loves they have an impression of Pete now. He said you can only use it there. Fake Pete sang for Howard and then asked Richard what he's into. Richard said he's into seeing his penis. He asked him to hit it against the microphone. Fake Pete did that.
Howard asked Pete if he's gone back to the nude beach. Pete said he has and now he's sleeping there. He said he dug a hole and sleeps in that. He said it's so cold there that he's down to just six inches. Howard asked Pete what he says to women there. Fake Pete said he asks women if they want to see his penis. Howard said he likes it when he asks what's up with him. He and fake Pete went back and forth with that for a bit.
Howard asked fake Pete about Ralph and if he thinks he's gay. Pete said he's straight as an arrow. He said hey to Sal and asked how he's doing. Sal was answering in his Pete voice. Howard said he doesn't have to do that.
Howard thanked fake Medicated Pete for coming in. Pete was talking to Robin when Howard closed the door on him.
Howard said the guy who used to run this place is Jim Meyer and he wants to talk to them. He took the call from fake Jim who said he has 5 large for Sal and Richard if they can get them to blow each other. Howard said he was calling in from Cancun.
Howard said at the end of the show last week Michael Rapaport spanked Richard. He red some feedback about that segment. Howard asked if Richard's ass hurt after that. Richard said not at all. He said he has a pretty tough ass. Howard asked if he got hard at all when he was getting spanked. Richard said not at all.
Howard said he has the real Medicated Pete on the phone. Howard told Pete what Ralph was saying about him. Pete thanked him for that and asked what's up. Ralph asked if he wants to see his penis. Pete laughed. Pete said that Rapaport wanted to take him out on his tour with him. Howard said he's not sure what he's talking about. He asked what tour this is. Pete said he's on some comedy tour. Howard said he thinks he does stand up and he must have asked him to go on tour with him. Sal said he can do comedy into his dick. Howard asked if Pete is going to the nude beach now. Pete said it's kind of cool out now. He said he won't be going out by himself.
Howard asked if Pete wants to talk to fake Pete. Pete said fine. Howard put them on together. Fake Pete and Real Pete were going back and forth asking each other what's up.
Howard said it's pretty warm out today so he could go to the beach. He said he wants to know why he agreed to get a blow job from Chris back in 2007. Pete said he thinks he was just going along with it. He said next thing he knew he was just agreeing to it.
Howard said he noticed that the only guys who wanted to blow him were the gay guys at the nude beach. Pete said the women weren't into it. Chris said that's how he turned gay. He said women kept turning him down so he just went with the gay thing.
Howard said Michael Rapaport is on the phone saying that he knows nothing about asking Pete to go on tour with him. Michael said he was talking to Jon Leiberman about this. He said he asked him about bringing Pete on tour and he didn't bring it up. He said he just got back from Michigan. He said the response to all of that stuff they did last week was just pure joy. He said it was a smash hit. Howard said he's not sure what Richard and Sal are going to do next year. Richard said they should start planning now.
Howard said he herd that Michael was on Wheel of Fortune last night. Michael said he raised money for Toys for Tots. Howard said that he'd be nervous going on that show. Michael said he was nervous but he exceeded his expectations. He said that there is some controversy about what he said solving one of the puzzles though. He said he didn't say the exact phrase and people were upset over that. He said he was on with some other actors whose names slip his mind. He said they're wonderful actors.
Michael said that High Pitch Erik is the number 1 Wack Packer. He said these guys are stars. He said they are great. He said he was in the studio with Pete and saw his penis. He said it wasn't as big as he expected it to be. He said Erik is number 1 when it comes to the Wack Pack. He said Mariann is right up there too and then Pete. He said Erik is like the champion. Howard said Erik is great. He said he heard that Erik won't check in with Sal lately though.
Sal said this all started out with the Drew Barrymore dating game. He said he wanted to call in earlier and things were a mess and then he demanded $150 to pay his phone bill. He said he claimed he didn't have the money and he said he can't pay for it. He said then Erik said he won't call in. He said he asked Derek to pay the bill and he said no. He said then Erik stopped calling him. He said Monday morning he said he paid his bill but he won't stay on the phone for more than an hour. He said he won't wait on hold all day. Howard said he didn't know he was on the phone for Drew. He said that he wasn't going to pick up on him during the game. Sal said that they told him to call back on Monday but then he was making his threats. Michael said he should be paying his bill. He said he brings joy to so many people. Robin wondered what happened to his business if he can't pay his bills. Sal said he asked and Erik made up some bullshit.
Howard thanked Pete for calling in. He said he's terrific. He thanked everyone else for coming in. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and read some facts about Hozier and his song. Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that he's not mad at Sal. He said he's back to following Sal now. Howard said it seemed like he wanted him to pay his phone bill. Erik said he loves Sal. Howard asked if he listened to the Dickathlon last week. Erik said it was funny as fuck. Howard said Erik wanted to be part of that. He said he volunteered to be the asshole in the golf thing. Erik said he was supposed to do it with Eric Andre. Howard said Eric backed out for some reason. He said he's not sure what happened there. He said Eric said he was in but maybe he has management now. He said he used to be into this kind of stuff but maybe he figured he should stop with that.
Jason said it was a scheduling conflict. He said he's a very busy man right now. Howard said he's glad to hear that he's still up for penis stuff. He said god knows what Eric is up to that he wasn't able to clear his schedule. Erik said that maybe they can get Andy Cohen to do it. Howard said he'll look into that. He said if Erik can do that with Andy he'll set it up.
Howard said they contacted the Party Bros too but they had a scheduling problem too. He said they were too busy too. Erik said he's surprised that Chris Wilding didn't want to do it. Robin said he was right there in the studio.
Erik said he knows who the other contestants were with Michael on Wheel of Fortune. He said he looked it up and he has to find it again. Howard said he loves that he doesn't know. Erik named the people and Howard acted like he knew who they were but he had no idea. He asked who June Diane Raphael is. Erik said that's who she is. He said he doesn't know who she is either. Howard asked who the other one was. Erik said Jamie Camel. Howard asked who that is. Erik said he doesn't know her either.
Robin said Michael wasn't able to think of their names when he was on. Howard said maybe they're just known for being on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. Erik said Ray Romano was on Celebrity Jeopardy. Howard said he's a big star. He said he thinks that Erik is a bigger star than those women who were on Wheel with Michael Rapaport. He said Erik should be on there. Erik said they could have him, Robin and someone else. He said that he'd put the money toward Beth's proceeds. Howard said Beth's Furry Friends. He said that might be good if they played that.
Robin said she wouldn't do Wheel of Fortune. Howard said she's a Jeopardy person. He said you have to be smart to be on Jeopardy. Robin said they make it easier for the celebrities. Howard said she was still very good on it. He said he'd never be able to answer anything.
Howard asked Erik if he's still into Sam Champion. Erik said he's into Lonnie Quinn and some other local guy there in New York. Robin said you should get other voices in your news search. Howard said he loved Rachel Maddow but he watches Simone on the weekends. He said he likes her. Howard said he watches what's her name from The View. Robin said she can't member her name. JD said Nicole Wallace. Howard said he likes her. He said he likes a bunch of them. Robin said he can't just watch one channel. Howard said he doesn't like watching the others. He said he records and rewinds so he can skip the commercials.
Howard said they say that he didn't need to pay that much for it. He said that's what he did. He said Ralph was banned for life on twitter and now he's excited and he might be able to get back. Erik asked why he's banned. Howard said he's not sure. He said if Ralph wants to call in with that answer he can.
Howard said even Erik got reinstated. He said he has done weird things on there. He said Erik is back on. He said he likes Twitter. He said he gets a lot of news from it. He said he follows CNN or MSNBC and FOX News over there. He said that's how he gets his news.
Howard said he was reading they want to charge you to be verified. He said he didn't care about that. He said he's not going to pay for that. Robin said Elon has to get his money back somehow. Howard said he doesn't care about that check mark. He said he won't pay a fee for it. He said Ronnie hasn't tweeted today so he's kind of concerned. He asked Ronnie what's going on. Ronnie said he was having a problem with the computer this morning. He said that's why he didn't do it.
Howard asked how his birthday was. Ronnie said they went out for dinner. He said he had friends over. He said they went to the race track on Friday. He said his friend is racing. He said it's Ron Capps. He said he drives a funny car dragster. Howard asked what's so funny. Ronnie said he has no idea.
Ronnie said they went out to dinner and things like that. Robin asked if he got pegged at all. Ronnie said he did have sex. He was very mellow so Howard asked if this is the very relaxed Ronnie. Fred went into his Ronnie puppet thing and did the mellow Ronnie. Ronnie said it was a very relaxed weekend.
Howard said the guys were saying that Ronnie wasn't into his birthday last week and he yelled at Richard for wishing him a happy birthday. Ronnie said he's not a big fan of birthdays. Howard said he got a note about Pia Zadora hanging out with Ronnie on his birthday. He said she was singing to him too. Ronnie said she's a big fan of the show supposedly. Howard asked what they talked about. Ronnie said it was general shit. He said she looks really good. Ronnie Puppet said her cunt is holding up really well for 68 years old. Ronnie told him to shut the fuck up.
Ronnie said she claimed she was on the show once. Howard Pia was on the show years ago. Howard said she married a guy named Meshulam Riklis who was very wealthy. He said he bankrolled her career. He said that she became famous. He asked if she's still married to that guy. Ronnie said he has no idea. He said she's going to be singing there again in the middle of this month. He said he doesn't know what she sings. He said they're going to go see her one night to see what the deal is.
Howard asked Ronnie about going out to a strip club. Ronnie said that was another night. He said he went out to this club where he knows the guy who runs it. He said that Stephanie was out of town so he went with his friends. He said the dude there is a great guy who used to work for Scores. He said it's Crazy Horse 3. He said that they send a car to pick him up and all of that. He said they had 12 guys and they sent a bus for them. Howard said Ronnie is like the mayor of Vegas. He said he's so tuned into it already. Ronnie said this is only the second or third time he's been to the club.
Robin said she's heard they have a lot of parties at his house out there. Ronnie said the do. Howard asked if they have sex parties. Ronnie said no. He said he went to the race track once and Stephanie had thrown a party for some friends and they were in bikinis and wasted off their ass. He said they blew up a pool float and things like that. He said he had to drive them all home too. He said they were all wasted. He said he doesn't have them take their tops off or anything like that. Howard said he's usually able to do that. Ronnie said he does that with people he doesn't know good.
Howard said Ronnie is a hot chick whisperer. He said it's pretty amazing. He said Ronnie is 73 now. He said that's hard to believe. Ronnie said his shrink told him that he's a year older than him and this one is bad. He said they do the phone thing. Howard said Ronnie is 73 now. He said a lot of people think 73 is the new 69. Ronnie said good. Howard asked if he wishes he could freeze time. Ronnie said he would have liked to have stopped around 55 or 56. He said put it on hold right there. He said then you year horror stories about these guys. He said there was a 49 year old NASCAR guy who died in his sleep. Howard asked what the point of all of this is. He asked why we are here. Ronnie said he doesn't even know. He said he's happy for every day he's alive. Howard asked what happens when we die. Ronnie said he's not sure where he's going. He chuckled at that. He said he doesn't know if the elevator is going up or down.
Howard said he heard Ronnie vaped a little bit. Ronnie said that was fucked up. He said his friend was there and they went to this club. He said he took a hit off of his friend's vape and it was fucked up. He said he felt like a zombie. He said he was flipping out and freaking out not knowing where the hell he even was. Howard said you have to be careful taking a hit like that. He said you have to be really careful. Ronnie said he knows. He said he's got his shit that he's cool with. He said he smokes some stuff. Howard asked what that is. Ronnie said it's something he had in L.A. and it's called Peanut Butter and Jelly but he's not sure what it was. He said the stuff he vaped was weed but it was a different kind of high. He said it was weird. He said he's just enjoying every day.
Howard said happy birthday to Ronnie. Ronnie said Howard's is coming up soon too. He said he just wanted to remind him. Howard asked if he has a bucket list. Ronnie said he never thought about anything. He said he's done a lot of shit. He said he never really thought about it. Robin said he doesn't have a bucket or a list. He said he's had a race track opened up for him so he could drive on the track with his friends. He said that was awesome.
Robin said if Ronnie had a bucket list it world be about cars and sex. Howard asked if he thinks he will ever have a wedding. Ronnie said they will have an announcement very soon. Howard said that's a bit of a teaser. Robin said send out that save the date. Howard asked if they're going to announce a wedding date or that they're married. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said it'll be coming soon. Howard asked if they're married. Ronnie said he has to talk to her about what she wants to do about the announcement. Howard said it sounds like they're already married. Ronnie went silent. Howard said he got married. Ronnie said no. He said no they didn't. Howard asked if he swears. Ronnie said he swears. Howard said maybe there's a wedding announcement coming up. Ronnie said he has to talk to Stephanie about it.
Howard asked if Erik is still there. Erik was. Howard said he has to go. Erik said he wants to ask Ronnie why he blocked him on Twitter. Ronnie said he didn't block him. He said has his DMs right there. Erik said he did block him. Ronnie said he had a guy busting his balls as Erik. He said send him a message and he'll put him back. He said he didn't do it on purpose.
Howard let Erik go. Erik said that he has to pick up on Mariann. He said she's really pissed at Michael Rapaport. He said she's furious. Howard said she's always angry. Robin said he did say something about her. Ronnie said he called her an old bag of bones.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's mad at Michael because he did say that he wanted to take Pete on tour with him on the Jon Leiberman interview. She said that she's angry about a lot of things out there. She was screaming about Rapaport and Howard hung up on her.
Howard asked Ralph what it was he got kicked off of Twitter for. Ralph said he can't remember exactly what it was. He said they warned him a couple of times and then kicked him off. He said he's not sure why Howard and Robin are so angry with Elon buying Twitter. Howard said he's not angry. He said letting people say anything they want can be dangerous. He said you have to be held accountable. He said he can't put Ralph on and let him say anything slanderous. Ralph said then government is going to have to regulate it. Howard said the don't have government regulation there at Sirius. He said he told the story about his bulletin board and how that turned into a nightmare. He said he wasn't able to regulate it. He didn't want that responsibility. He said no matter what you own you have to regulate it because there's a lot of bullshit out here that's not even truth.
Gary said he was reading about Elon lifting the ban and how the use of the N-word went up 500 percent. Howard said if you're going to protect violence against black people he's not going to support that. Robin said you prime the pump with language and then they'll start yelling at the gays, Jews and Black people and then the whole thing becomes toxic. She said she's talking about it happening in the world and not even on Twitter.
Howard said he has been the victim of being thrown off the air and he does agree with the free speech thing but there is a problem there.
Gary said that Ralph said something about Governor Cuomo's name coming up in a tweet that was talking about execution and he got banned right away because of that. He said he wasn't saying he should be but it was taken to of context. Ralph said it was a bot that did that.
Ralph said he thinks that Elon Musk will make Twitter successful. Howard said the way to monetize Twitter isn't to pay for it. He said he likes Twitter but he's not sure he would pay for it. He said he has other ways to use social media. He said the way to make money is through advertising and if you have hate speech on the platform you can't get advertising. He said the big companies are going to pull away from that. He said he doesn't see how it's going to work. Ralph said maybe he'll add something on to Twitter and he'll make it work that way. Howard said that's fine. Ralph said he's sure he's right. Howard said we'll see.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he heard that Elon Musk wants people to be able to say the N-word if they want to on Twitter. He said that he thinks it should be allowable. Howard said he's surprised that people want it that way. Robin said she found all of this crazy.
Howard said goodbye to King but King said he wants his opinion on something. He said he agrees with what they were saying about Kyrie Irving and what they said. He said he wants to know why they're charging to see this movie that Kyrie tweeted out. He said it's available on Amazon for $45 now. Howard said he's sure he would but there's so many people he could go after. He said he's tired from all of this.
Robin said how about Cher dating a 34 year old. Robin said that she's 76 and she's dating a 34 year old. Howard said why not. He said good for her. He asked why he'd care.
Howard said he knows Ronnie loves Cher. He asked if he'd still fuck her. Ronnie said without a doubt. That led to Ronnie Puppet talking about what he'd do to her. Robin said she's happy for Cher. She said she was getting a lot of negative tweets about that age gap. Howard asked how old Stephanie is now. Ronnie said she's going to be 40 this coming year. He said she's 39 now. Howard said Ronnie is like Cher. Ronnie said he met her at 24.
Howard said get out there and vote tomorrow. He said he and Robin have already voted. He said he's all for free elections and not for anyone who doesn't accept the results. He spent a little time on tat and said they'll be talking to Conan O'Brien tomorrow. He wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:20am.
Howard said his weight is a little bit up and he was getting upset. He said Robin hasn't eaten for 6 days. He said he was going insane thinking about that. Robin said it's only insane because you have eaten every day of your life and you think you should. Howard said of course. He laughed at what she was saying.
Howard said he went through this all yesterday on his walk. He said he was walking alone thinking about all of that. He said the caveman would go out and maybe not eat anything for a couple of days. He said he only had blocks to throw at animals. He said who knows what was going on.
Howard said he was thinking about Robin not eating and thinking about how she would wake up in pain. He said she stopped eating and things got better. He said now she can walk up a sand dune. He said he was thinking about how crazy that is. He said it was driving him nuts. He said he was even saying to his wife that maybe Robin is delusional. He said maybe she's insane. He said she is locked up in that house alone. He said he can picture her eating while sleep walking. Robin said maybe she does that and thinks she can go without eating for another day.
Howard said he told Beth about Robin's fasting. He said she's just drinking broth. He said he's going to throw up thinking about that. Robin said she loves her broth. Howard said Robin has always been consumed with this fasting and toxins stuff. He said he told Beth about all of that. He said she had a big shit on Friday and he told Beth about that too. He said Robin was all excited about that.
Howard said Robin is into the toxins stuff and into the enemas. He said she's on this kick. He said she's trying to figure it all out. He said then they talk about his parents who did nothing like this. He said his father ate every day and didn't think about toxins. He said he didn't eat in between meals though. He said he didn't snack. He said he would just eat his dinner and have a fruit and that's it. He said then he was done.
Howard said Beth gets angry too. He said his father lived until 99. He said he can work anyone up. He said his mother is 95 and she ate horrible things. Robin said her parents were a mess and they only ate 3 meals a day. Howard said he's not sure what went on with her parents.
Howard said he was going to call Robin's doctor and tell on her. He said he didn't do it though. He said she's a grown woman. He said he did it once though. He said he told her doctor about what she was doing. Robin said it was just a hyperbaric oxygen chamber thing. Howard said her doctor put a stop to that. Robin said she only told Howard about that and then she got a call from her doctor. Howard said he tried to claim it wasn't him.
Howard said Robin is looking for answers out there. He said she's a seeker of wisdom. He said that was driving him crazy yesterday. He said he didn't lose any weight. He said he gained. He said he eats the same thing every day. He said he has yogurt with some nuts and some blueberries in it. Robin said it may be too much. Howard said for her maybe. Howard said he has a light salad for lunch and then he has a normal dinner. He said he's taking walks too.
Howard said he got lazy for a couple of weeks. He said he looks like shit and has a belly. He said he's gross and he admits it. Robin said she's glad they can talk about that now. Howard said he thinks he's eating more to make up for what Robin isn't eating.
Howard said he's kind of skinny with his legs but he has a belly. He said he used to do pull-ups and he can't do them. He said he used to run with his buddy Pat for 6 miles. He said he would do pull-ups and push-ups too. He said he can't do any of that now. Robin said he used to show off to people who would come in there. Howard said he used to be proud of himself. He said the highlight of his life was when he had his picture taken by the Paparazzi and he had a six pack. He said he was very excited about that.
Howard said now he's a mess and it's embarrassing. He said he can't do any of that stuff. Robin said she would pull her back whenever she tried to lift anything. She said now she can lift 15 pound dumbbells. Howard said he's still not doing it.
Howard said he called their agent yesterday and asked if he knew what she was up to. He said he figured he'd be able to knock some sense into her. He said they were talking about their favorite foods and he told him about Robin. He said he loves his meals and he loves sitting down for them. He said it's such a joy to sit and eat. He said he loves the explosion of taste in his mouth. He said he told Don that he's not going to do what Robin is doing. He said he's all charged up over it.
Howard asked if Robin is up to day 7 today. Robin said it is. She said she's not going to eat today. Howard said she has to be hungry. Robin said she's fine. Howard said he's going to find her dead in that house. Robin said she won't be in pain if he does. Howard had her stand up quickly so he can see if she passes out. Robin did it and pretended to almost fall over. Howard asked if she's lost a lot of weight. Robin said she's back down to what she was when she did the marathon. Howard asked what she is now. Robin said she's too dizzy to do the calculations.
Howard said Beth fell asleep and he had to turn the show off. He said she just missed the show. He said just tell him when she's falling asleep so he can turn it off. He said she tells him she doesn't know when she's falling asleep. Howard said he has to fill her in on what happened on the show. He said he makes stuff up.
Howard said he turns to see what time it is and it says 21:23. He said the clock is on Military time. He said he's so bad at math he doesn't know what time it is. He said then he's trying to figure it out. He said it was doing the math trying to figure it out. He said he got hung up on 12 and 13 and then 14. He said he's going through the numbers and he had no idea what time it was. He asked why we would have that time on this clock. Robin said she's not sure why it was on Military time.
Howard said he doesn't get it. Robin said they have to have a clock so you don't get confused with what time of day it is. She said if its 1 it can be 1am. She said you may have someone who doesn't put the AM or PM in there.
Howard said he asked Beth how she got on Military time. He said his head was exploding. He said he wasn't sure if he should go to bed or watch TV.
Howard said he's watching a lot of TV. He said he's watching the Pennyworth show and this Interview with the Vampire. He said there's a lot.
Howard had fake Gene Simmons and fake David Lee Roth on with him to talk about all of this. He also had Liza Minelli. He said hello to each of them. Then he said he has Kanye West on as well. He had fake Kanye say a few words too. He ended up arguing with him over his introduction. Kanye was saying he has to introduce him as a visionary. Howard said he doesn't have to do that with Gene.
Howard asked Liza about being an EGOT winner and what her favorite is. Liza said they're all like friends to her. She said she pick just one. She started singing and then David joined in with her. Howard said he don't know he knew the words to Cabaret. David said he was able to Google them.
Howard asked Gene a question about the hall of fame and he got in an ad for some KISS merch.
Howard asked everyone about Pat Benetar getting inducted. Liza said she loves ''him'' and the other guys had a few words to say about her induction as well.
Howard asked about Eminem and Liza said she loves the blue ones. She said they're so good. Fake Gene said he thinks he's a hack. He said the only rap he likes is KISS wrapping paper. He got in a plug for the product.
Howard asked David and Kanye what they think about Eminem. They had a few things to say about him.
Howard asked about the Eurythmics getting in. Gene got in another plug for a KISS product. He got in plug after plug for KISS products.
Everyone was talking over each other so Howard said they have to take a breather. Howard asked to take that breather but they all kept talking. Robin said he's lost control.
Howard said he wants to wrap this up and have them all sing a song together. Gene said he wants to do a KISS song so he can collect some royalties. They all started singing over each other and not matching up at all. Howard closed the door on all of them.
Howard said he wanted to talk to Liza but she kept getting drowned out. He said she was upset with them making fun of meds. Howard asked if Liza is still there. Robin said he did slam the door on her.
Howard said Wolfie interviewed some people outside the stadium before the outcome of the games. He said he loves this. He said he was laughing his ass off at all of this. He said it's the opposite of his life. Wolfie said they were so fired up for this. He said they're really into their teams in Philly. Robin said everyone was wearing their colors down there. Howard said he doesn't think people in New York care so much. He said in Philly you get tired of people dumping on you. He said it's he second city mentality.
Howard played an interview Wolfie did with a guy asking him what he'd be willing to do to get his team to win. He was willing to chop his dick off or eat horse shit. Howard said he wishes he could be that big a fan of anything. Robin said he didn't actually do those things. Wolfie said the aftermath of the win is something they miss out on now because they didn't win.
Howard said they wanted to see just how far this guy was willing to go. He played another clip of the guy talking to Wolfie about what he'd be willing to do to get a win. He said he would blow one of the guys but not let him blow a load on his face because that's too gay.
Howard said he loves listening to these fans. He played another clip where a fan was talking to Wolfie about shitting his pants at a game once. He said he took his pants off there and the cops had to take him down. He said it was maybe 10 cops that had to take him down. Howard said if he shit his pants at a game and he was arrested by 10 cops he'd be talking about it for like 10 years. He said this guy brushed it off like it was nothing.
Howard played another clip where a fan was talking about how he had to piss on his way in and he pissed in a Gatorade bottle. He said he was all fucked up. He said he pissed all over his car. He said his dick was too big for that bottle. Wolfie asked him what he'd be willing to do to get a win. He said he'd cut his nuts off for Philly. Howard said he would like a reality show about these guys. He said their lives seem interesting. He said he wants to know what they do for a living.
Howard said he wants to know what the guy who ran around naked does and if he's a good employee. He said he doesn't know how you manage a guy like that. Robin said maybe he's a doctor. Howard said on election day he wants to know who they're voting for. He said they may not be rational. He said he sees some of these people talking about who they're voting for and it's mind blowing. He said he's not sure who would want Hershel Walker to represent anything. He said he's not rational. Robin said they can hope for a run off.
Howard said Wolfie found a guy so drunk he wasn't able to put together an insult. He asked what day of the week this was. Wolfie said it was a Wednesday night. Howard said he'd have to go to bed but all of these guys are out there wasted. He said it's a work night. He said it seems like the true fans get black out drunk and can't remember the game.
Howard played a clip of a guy so drunk that he wasn't able to put together an insult. Wolfie was asking him questions and the guy was rambling with his insults. Wolfie said that guy was like a pinball bouncing off of cars. He said he had to talk to him when he saw him.
Howard said unfortunately the Phillies lost so these guys must have been upset. Wolfie said the whole town was upset. Wolfie said at least they have the Eagles to look forward to. Howard said that was a good report. He thanked Wolfie for that. He went to break after doing a live commercial read.
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Howard came back and said he should do a cover of this song. He sang along with it for a few seconds. He said he might do a cover of his when he tours. He said there are ways to write songs for guys who can't sing like him. He said he could sing this. He said he's not really singing. He said he could do that. He said it sounds like you're high. He asked if they have a Karaoke of this. Fred said they do. Howard said he'd like the lyrics to try it.
Howard said they say the song was written in an hour. He said he needs something quick that he can sing. He said John Wozniak is the guy singing. He said he's about to do a cover of his song.
Howard had Fred play the song and he sang along with it. Howard must have heard the music on a delay or something because it wasn't matching up with what he was singing along with.
Howard said he's good. Robin asked why he didn't think of this before. Howard said he may tour with that. Howard said something just fell out of his hair. He said it was a toothpick. He said his hair is so long things are just falling out of it.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said he feels bad about the way Bobo is being treated lately. He said Howard takes Mariann's call every day and she's got too much power. He asked why he does that. Howard said sometimes when you do the show maybe he doesn't see it because he's too close to it. He said he thinks Mariann is a quick hit and you can pick up and she gets it out quick and then you hang up on her. He said with Bobo it goes on longer. Howard said with Bobo he has to invest some time. Mike said sometimes he doesn't pick up on him and you know he has a lot to give to the show.
Howard said Bobo isn't even on the phone today. Mike said he's a superfan so he calls in every day. He said sometimes he hears Mariann on for the third time of the day and he wants to get on.
Howard took a call from Mariann and asked her what she thinks about all of this. Mariann said mike made the same call about a year ago. She said that he's not saying anything today and he's just complaining about her. She said that she likes that Conan is on the show today and she knew it was Conan's interview that Howard liked. She said Howard does so many great interviews.
Howard said he wants to get back to the issue here. He asked Mike if it would please him if he picked up 1/3 less calls from Mariann. Mike said he'd like him to pick up more on him. Mariann said that she never asks them not to pick up calls from anyone. She said she has never done that. Mariann and Mike were talking over each other so Howard had to let them both go. Robin said they didn't get to the bottom of that. Howard said they did not.
Howard said it's gross because the blackhead is white underneath it. He said he's not sure what is going on with these people's bodies. He said he when he was a kid he would squeeze his father's blackheads. He said his aunt Sally used to do that for him. He said she'd look at his back and she'd squeeze them for him. He said he would go all the way into Queens to do it.
Howard said his father was so grateful to his aunt for doing that for him. He said his father wanted it squeezed out so he didn't get boils. He said he was going to throw up from all of that. He said his father didn't go to the dermatologist for that.
Howard said he was watching that stuff and thinking about his father. He said his father didn't seem to like him. He said he was thinking about how he offered to squeeze his blackheads for him. He said his dad didn't think he could do it. He said he did it for him one time and he will never forget this. He said his father laid down and he let him do it. He said his mother laughed at him and his father thought he did a good job. He said he finally did something right for him. He said he had a bonding over blackheads. He said that's all the bonded over. He said it was so fucking great because he did it a couple of weeks later. He said his mother would tell him and he'd go in there and squeeze them out for him. He said he was like the man. He said he was his personal zit nurse. He said his aunt looked at his back and there were none for her to squeeze. He said she liked that he did a good job for his dad. He said she showed him a trick where you run a paper clip over it and it pulls the blackhead out. He said she had techniques.
Howard said he went in with a paper clip and did it that way. He said then it hit him that the only time his father was grateful to him was when he was squeezing his blackheads. He said his father did need him and he felt needed at that time. He said now he thinks about it and he's like ''Ugh.''
Howard read about blackheads and what they are. Howard said he doesn't have any. He said he has never had to have them squeezed out. He said what a relationship he had with his father. He said it was all about blackheads.
Howard said there's a lot of weird stuff going on out there on social media. He said he found out about this Vabbing thing a couple of weeks ago. He said this is where women take their vaginal fluid and rub it on to attract men. He said it's weird. He said there are a lot of weird things going on with TikTok. He said he doesn't have it but the guys do. He said this is some vabbing clips from TikTok. He played a clip of one woman talking about Vabbing and what it is. Howard said you don't know who this woman is. He said she makes herself sound like a professional. He said it's just pussy juice. The woman said it works like these pheromone things you can buy. She said it's not worth buying if you have it naturally there.
Howard said this surgeon on the phone says don't pop your pimples. He took the call and the guy said don't pop your pimples because it can get infected under the skin. He said this Pimple Popper lady isn't doing them correctly either. He said there's a cyst there and it can get infected. Howard said he was working on the blackheads and not zits or cysts. The caller said that he can keep doing it and he'll see him in his office. Howard said he gets zits now and then and he just pops them. The caller said you shouldn't do it. Howard said alright pal. He hung up on the guy and said it's his pimple, his choice. He said don't tell him what to do with his body.
Howard played a montage of women talking about trying out the vabbing thing. Robin said she wants to see someone do this and see if they get all of this action.
Howard said this is not a one off thing on TikTok. He said there are a lot of bizarre trends and theories going on there. He played some clips of whackos talking about weird stuff on TikTok.
Howard said these are all registered voters by the way. He said we're fucked. Howard said this person thinks that his interview with Harry Styles shows that Stevie Nicks is a witch. Howard played that clip and the guy was showing why he thinks that's the case. He was going on and on about the witch thing.
Howard said Hershel Walker heard this and now he thinks Helen Keller isn't real. He said they also think China owns TikTok to spy on us. He said they figured out we're all idiots by spying on us. Robin said it'll be easier to conquer America based on this.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Liza returning from earlier. Liza was talking about Vabbing herself. Howard asked if it's harder for her to get juices out of her vagina for Vabbing. Liza said she hasn't touched herself since she was with Freddie Mercury at Studio 51. She said he can do the math.
Howard talked to Liza more about the Vabbing thing and said he used to love tuning in to her specials where she would sing and dance. the talked about that for a bit.
Howard said people look at her and don't think about what a big talent Liza was. He said she was a singer and a dancer and her mom wasn't a dancer. Howard had Liza sing a bit too.
Howard asked Liza what she'll be doing the rest of the day. She said she may watch Bridge over the River Kwai if she can find it on TV. Robin said she's living in a different century than we are. Howard let Liza go a short time later.
Howard said he was talking about TikTok. He said this guy might be his favorite. He said this guy is a self proclaimed sex coach. He said he knows how to make you more masculine and make your dick bigger. He played a clip of this guy Will Blunderfield talking about the dick thing. In the clip Will was talking about hanging out with other dudes naked and how it makes him want pussy even more. Robin said good luck Howard. Howard said if that was true Richard and Sal would have the biggest dicks in the world.
Howard said this guy teaches his theories to students. He said he talks about drinking your own urine. He said at the end he drinks his own urine. He said he almost threw up hearing that one. Howard played the clip and the guy talked about it not being urine but ''human juice.'' The guy pours himself a glass of piss and then drinks it.
Howard said he was afraid Robin was going to get into something like that. Robin asked how he knows she's not. Howard said he doesn't know. He said that's what's going on over on TikTok. Howard said he made a mistake by watching that. He said he can't get that image out of his head. Howard said he was watching the videos last night. He said he was watching Steven Tyler at the Kennedy Center Honors and he came out and sang the trilogy of songs on the Beatles album Abbey Road. He said it was that trilogy of songs. He sang some of them for Robin. Howard said Steven comes out and Paul McCartney is watching. He said it was really good. He said Steven nailed it. He said that's his pick of the day. He said go watch that. He said it's the songs Golden Slumbers, Carry that Weight and The End.
Howard read the feedback where fans were on her side in this fasting thing. He had some people saying they do the same. Robin said Howard has tried kooky diets himself. Howard said they're not this kooky. He said Robin has to be tortured. Robin said she's fine. She said she has her broth and she loves her broth.
Howard read more fan feedback about the things Robin is doing. Some people think what she's doing is risky.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dr. Now who was going off on Robin again for eating so little. Robin said she's just doing this for a little while. She said he can start eating whenever she wants to. Howard asked if she's going to end up with pancake titties. Dr. Now said she could end up with them. He said that's a medical term by the way. He said they call them Potato Latke titties too. He said she'll end up with small titties and it'll be a big problem for her. He said she has to do the work to gain the weight to lose the weight.
Howard asked Dr. Now what Robin's problem is. Dr. Now said it's not normal to not eat. He said if she doesn't fix it she'll be very skinny when she's a dead skeleton. Howard let him go a short time later. Robin said she wants to look good in her coffin.
Howard said there's a guy who claims he hasn't eaten in 70 years. He said that he claims he was blessed by a goddess when he was a young man.
Howard said there were so many things. He said he got yelled at about High Pitch Erik and how he wasn't familiar with the contestants on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. Howard said someone told him who these other two contestants were with Michael Rapaport on Wheel of Fortune. Howard read about who they were and how he should know who they are.
Howard said he has a woman on the phone who thinks Medicated Pete would be a good match for Debbie the Cum Lady. He said he thinks she's right. Howard picked up and told her she's right.
Howard read about how he was on Wheel of Fortune once but he wasn't a contestant. Howard said he was on and he didn't play. He said maybe he'll play it after he talks to Conan. He said he can do a bonus at the end of the show. Howard said when they get back they'll talk to Conan. He said he graduated Harvard so he's very impressed by anyone who can do that. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said this song reminds him of a Conan O'Brien bit. He said he was showing what goes on behind the scenes at his show and he was playing guitar and playing Me and Bobby McGee. He said Conan just made up the lyrics to the song because he didn't know them. Conan said he has never been able to remember the lyrics. He said he would play and sing and people hated it. He said he couldn't stop doing it though. He said it drove a lot of people insane. Howard said it seems like annoying people is so much fun. Conan said when you play music there's this thing that kicks in where they think they have to pay attention to you. He said they're trying to be kind and you waste their life. He said it's a wonderful thing.
Howard said it's amazing that singers can remember their lyrics. Conan said sometimes they have a monitor on the side of the stage and they look at it to make sure they know the lyrics.
Howard asked Conan who he thinks the top 5 musicians are in the world. He wants to know who his top 5 are. Conan said he loves Neil Young. He said he has managed to stay authentic and raw in a way that seems almost impossible to him. He said he's still doing what he was doing in 1965. He said that guy blows him away. Howard said he mentioned Neil Young and he was an incredible force in his life. He said he was there for him when he was going through all of that Jay Leno stuff. Howard asked if he was his last guest. Conan said he has PTSD and he doesn't remember it all. He said he's medicated a lot. He said he's on Prozac and stuff like that. He said he's over 7 feet tall and like 350 pounds. Howard said his hair is like a foot tall. Conan said Neil came on and did ''Long May You Run'' and it was an amazing thing. Howard said he supported him through the NBC stuff. He said he was vocal in that. Conan said he was a mench about the whole thing. He said he was incredible.
Howard asked if he has a friendship outside the show. Conan said not at all. He said hew would get in his own head about it if he did. He said Paul McCartney is another one he's a huge fan of. He said that he has found that when he's around him it gets weird. He said he just looks at his hands thinking about how he did the chords for those songs he knows. He said you have to let that go though.
Howard said when he interviewed Bruce Springsteen he was watching his hands playing the piano and he was so glad their cameras got that. He said those hands don't look special. He said they're not the long, tapered fingers you'd expect. He said his hands were fascinating though. Conan said it's true. He said that when Einstein died they removed his brain and expected it to have 3 lobes and to be something special but it was average. He said there was nothing special about it. He said he looks at these people and thinks about idolizing people and you're not doing them a favor. He said he has done it with his comedy heroes and his music heroes. He said Bruce is something special but he's just a guy. He said those are the hands he uses to open a bag of Doritos. He said there's nothing special about his hands. Conan said he's someone who could forget the lyrics and make something up and you'd question yourself about them being wrong or not.
Howard said he thinks about Conan going to Harvard and how special that is. Conan said he worked his ass off in grade school and high school. He said he wanted to get into a good school. He said he didn't think he could be in show business. He said he got accepted to this great school because of his grinding out. Howard said that doctor's kids usually are smarter. Conan said his dad is a very intelligent man. He said he was into virology and microbiology. He was ahead of his time with studying antibiotics. He said he isn't good at math and he has a son who is very good at math. He said his kids see him trying to add up the tip at a restaurant and laugh. Howard said he can't even tell military time because his math is so bad. Conan said these schools are fantastic and he's proud that he was accepted. He said he met so many great people there. He said it's not Hogwarts though. He said there's a lot of myths about going there. He said it's not a magical thing. He said it's what you do with it. He said he has worked in comedy since 1985 and he would tell you that the most brilliant people he has worked with he has no idea where they went to college or if they even went to college.
Conan said he worked with a guy who was so brilliant and he didn't go to college. He said he served in the military. He said this was Tommy Blacha. He said he was one of the most original comedy minds. He said he would talk about anything and he was fascinating. He said when Tommy left the show he went to work for the WWE. He said he used to come into the room in their meetings and he would have this put down for the writers and tell them to go have a tall glass of shut up juice. He said Tommy liked that. He said that he had a match that weekend and Tommy told him to watch it. He said Tommy used that line and the crowd went crazy when they saw The Rock use it. He said he loved that and it was one of his most proud moments. He said he loved the willingness to push to find things. He said Tommy used to convince him to do things. He said Andy Richter too. He said KISS was never his thing but Andy and Tommy would come in and tell him about KISS reforming and maybe getting that on the show and announcing it. He said they pushed him into doing it and he ended up doing it. He said they did that for him so many times.
Howard asked if they were doing it as a goof. Conan said that it was a real thing. He said Andy was a big fan. He said that led to him talking to Gene Simmons. He said he's an interesting guy. Conan said they got Gene to do this ''Confessions'' thing on his show. He said they would get people to say the darkest stuff possible. He said they had Gene on the show and they asked him to do the bit. He said he was looking through the lines and he mentioned Richard Simmons. He said it was an innocuous line. He said that Gene said he wouldn't do that one. He said Gene said he gives no free rides. He said he claimed that Richard can mention him but he will not mention Richard. He said he won't do it unless there's a monetary thing in it for him. Howard said that Gene would come on the show and talk about all of his merchandise and how he would do it for pennies and nickels. He said that's what it was all about.
Conan said he had Gene on the show and he had a bunch of products on the show. He said he had a KISS coffin on the show and it was like 35 grand. He said that's the kind of stuff he sold. Howard said he thinks they had that on their show too. He said it would have been a great bit if they had asked how much it would cost to do the Richard Simmons thing. Conan said he thinks that it would have been like 150 bucks and not an insane amount of money. Howard said it would have been great if he had pulled out his wallet and paid it.
Conan said they didn't know they needed a warm up to do something before a show. He said they didn't know who was doing the warm up and they had this announcer Joel Goddard. He said they turned him loose on the crowd. He said the crowds were rough after that. He said that he figured it was all on him. He said that one day he was listening to the warm up. He said Joel was telling the crowed about him going to Harvard and what he did there. He said it was just his history. He said then he introduced him saying ''Here he is, a man who is better than all of you!'' He said that's what it was like.
Howard said what a warm up. Conan said that they had to tell him he didn't have to mention all of that.
Howard asked if Conan gets a jealousy when someone leaves his show. Conan said he wants people he has worked with to thrive. He said there have been people who have gone on to do cool things. He said later on when he's 10 years from then they ask him to do a walk on. He said hew wants to do that kind of stuff. He said he wants people to thrive around him. He said he has gotten very attached to people. He said when Andy took a long hiatus from the show he was devastated. He said he just loved the guy so much. He said he was so integral to the show. Howard asked if Conan lets Andy know that. Conan said Andy knew he needed him. He said he would lean more the other way. He said if someone says they want to move on and do something else he feels like it's putting too much on them that it devastates him. He said he didn't do that with Andy. He said he knows he loves him though. He said he has told Andy he loves him more than he's told his wife that.
Howard said he was interviewing Paul McCartney and saying he was in a love affair with John Lennon but he didn't go there. He said he has to be in love with someone to be around them so long. Conan said they wrote songs about love and you have to remember where they came from. He said they were working class. He said they're a different generation too. He said he and his wife tell their kids they love them constantly. He said he didn't grow up that way. He said he's pretty sure his parents loved him but he didn't get that. He said you have to give other generations slack. He said his parents are Irish Catholic and they're from Boston so they didn't do that kind of thing. He said he won't go to you. He said he'll wait until he's out of the room and go to Robin about how it bugs him. He said that he won't tell Howard. He said it's so in the Irish bones to despise someone and not confront someone about it.
Howard said he's the same way. He said it's him showing his vulnerability. He said if he went to Conan and tell him that he did something to rub him the wrong way, he'd never do it. He said he thinks he could do it now but not when he was younger. Conan said he didn't know well into his 30s how to tell someone something they didn't want to hear. Conan said he got into cognitive therapy and his therapist had him do these assignments. He said he once went out to eat and he had a salad that had mushrooms in it and he didn't like mushrooms. He said this woman he was seeing told him to just ask them to hold the mushrooms. He said he couldn't do it. He said now he knows that they hear this all day and he can ask. He said he didn't know how to do that. He said he had these assignments he had to do for this therapist and he had to ask for things from people 3 times a day.
Howard asked what it is in his background that makes him think that he's destroying someone with his words. He said he thinks he was never given a voice growing up. He said he never had a voice. He said his personality was wiped out. He said his parents didn't have any tolerance for any of that.
Conan said that his parents both worked and if you had a complaint it took a lot to get it to the top. He said he figured it out in therapy that anger is ugly and telling someone you're angry with them is mean. He said you don't want to do those things. He said he was so insecure about it that he would spend a lot of time in his head going through it all. He said in his head he was digging the latrine already for someone.
Conan said your parents are the first teachers and you wonder what they came from. He said his parents grew up in the depression. He said his father's father was a police man making $55 a week. He said they came from nothing. He said he's around people who have kids at the table and talking about sex. He said he remembers being 12 or so and they were all watching TV together. He said they were playing a show called I Claudius. He said they were all watching the show in this little room and then there's a cut to this woman who is topless and reading her lines. He said he had never seen a woman topless. He said the air in the room went silent. He said his father couldn't change the channel. He said if you did you were acknowledging what was happening. He said they were all frozen in place with these amazing breasts on the screen. He said everyone gets up after the scene is over and they go to different parts of the house and don't speak for 48 hours.
Howard said his father took him to see Barberella because his mom pushed him into it. He said he figured his father had a boner in there. He said he just wanted to get out of there. He said it was the dirtiest movie and it was crazy.
Howard said Conan was talking about Prozac and all of that. He asked if he ever got into that psilocybin stuff. Conan said that he has friends who tell him it has saved them. He said he has never gone down that road. He said his friends swear by it though. Howard said he figures they're just substituting one drug for others. Conan said if you were doing it every day that might be a problem. He said they have some evidence that it works. He said there's an ad he does on his Podcast for Better Help and he never messes around during that ad. He said all the other ads he will have fun with. He said it's hard to go out and find a therapist and he doesn't want to make fun of something like that.
Howard said he can't imagine the shit that Conan went through when he took over the late night show. He said he must have been so depressed. Conan said he didn't have a therapist or the knowledge he has today. He said there were some really dark moments. He said they were on the air for like 2 or 3 months and things weren't going well. He said he did Charlie Rose's show and he brought up something that came out in the paper that day. He said he didn't know what it was. He said Charlie told him it was a review of the show that was a brutal take down of the show and the comedy. He said back then this could end everything. He said it was Tom Shales. He said he wasn't really wrong. Howard asked why Charlie Rose would do that to him. Conan said he was being a journalist. Howard said he's hardly ad hard core journalist.
Conan said he remembers it being cold and raining out and he gets into a car and he gets to work and no one in the office is saying anything. He said he still has this in storage. He said he had this iron desk that came with the office. He said it was from like 1968. Howard said he even had one of those at NBC. Conan said he came into the office and hid under the desk. He said then Jeff Ross his Executive Producer leaned in and asked if he was feeling alright. He said he told hi he was fine and he just had to stay there for a while. He said that's when the needle was the lowest.
Howard said he hated showing it when he was feeling down. He said Charlie Rose reading that negative review was like taking him out in the town square and flogging him. Conan said he doesn't hold it against him.
Conan said he wouldn't change anything. He said his father told him if he can get through all of this it makes it all that much better. Howard said he would change one thing in Conan's life. He said he would wish this for him. He said he has done some great things in his life. He said finding great talent like Robert Smigel and Andy Richter is amazing. He said that even with all of that he's still tied into Jay Leno. Conan said it's getting to be less and less. He said it's generational so the younger people don't even know about that. He said they don't know because it's been 12 years or whatever. He said they like the stuff the know now and not the stuff that he did in 1993 or 94.
Conan said he's friends with so many amazing people who are in comedy. He said they're doing amazing comedy. He said they don't even think about the other stuff. He said they weren't reading the trades. He said they didn't know about all of that. He said all of the NBC stuff the young people don't know about. He said that was all unpleasant for him.
Howard asked if he ever runs into Jay now. Conan said oh god no. He said he doesn't think Jay would think anything of it. He said he remembers at the time thinking that was going to be the first line in his obit. He said that he imagined all of this stuff coming up. He said he remembers how he wanted to change that line in his obit. He said he had to put his head down and do good work. He said he didn't want to be consumed with anger. He said he was furious for 2 years. He said he was so furious about it and he had to put his head down and move on. He said there are so many people around the world that know him from doing remotes with different people. He said the have nothing to do with the late night show. He said they don't even know he had a show in the 90s. He said his job is to make funny stuff and be a funny person. He said he just walked away from it.
Howard said he thinks about Chris Rock and how he has to try and erase being slapped by Will Smith. He said it's his burden. Conan said he started doing stand up not long after that. He said he saw Chris out when he was hanging gout with John Mullaney. He said he went out to see Chris and it was maybe 2 or 3 weeks before the Oscars. He said he had a nice chat with him. He said he was ready to do his stand up. He said then he got slapped and just avoided bringing it up in his act. He said that he wasn't going to make it part of his life. He said he's such a craftsman that he was able to move on from it. He said there are a lot of people who would have tried to make a living off of that.
Howard asked if he watches the three late night guys at all. He said he has done it himself. He asked if it's painful to watch any of that. Conan said he used to do that but now he doesn't. He said he doesn't seek out those shows. He said it's not relaxation for him. He said it's not triggering but you look at it and see things they might do differently. He said you can't just chill. He said he'll see things online and he knows the guys and they seem lovely. He said he is closer to some than others. He said he is close to Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel. He said everyone is friends with Jimmy. He said he is like the mayor. He said he likes them. He said he is fond of them and they're very talented. He said he doesn't think that they'd be saying they have to go and they have to see what he's doing. He said he wants to watch the darkest documentary about the Germans and what they did to the Russians in 1941. He said that he's always watching this stuff and his family will walk in and see that. He said the wonder why. Howard said a lot of musicians like that kind of stuff too. He said he has a lot of friends who are consumed with that too.
Conan said in comedy they deal with that all the time and you want something that's the opposite or something that's real. He said people really put their lives on the line. He said it's important stuff and this will cleanse the palate. He said that's why they do it. He said that's why he does it anyway.
Howard asked Conan what he thinks about political comedy. He said Colbert and Kimmel are very political now. He said he loves it actually. He said he writes to Jimmy about how right on he is. He said he imagines there are people who think it's awful. He said Conan never got into it. Conan said he did alienate his audience but he didn't do that political stuff a lot. He said he did whatever his passion was. He said it was silly abstract kind of comedy. He said that's what he did a lot of. He said he just did what he does. He said his religion is this silly comedy. He said he hoped it was good. He said he wanted to make people laugh with his silly comedy. He said he thinks that Trump has not been great for comedy. He said he thinks Trump is like a super magnet that can throw you off. He said the line can be blurred by what's comedy and what's opinion. He said he sometimes feels that these guys are doing this today and they can only talk about the midterms today. He said they can only talk about that and it can be a bit stifling at times. He said he did what he did because that's what floats his boat. Howard said he likes to do landscape when he paints. He said he doesn't want to do portraits. Conan said he's going to do one and its going to be him. Howard said he's going to do one of him and do it nude so he can get every freckle.
Howard said Conan has talked about his freckles and how they affected his life. Conan said he wanted to look like someone else. He said he hated the way he looked growing up.
Howard said Adam Sandler calls him Coney. Conan said Sandler lives not too far from him. He said people don't really get together in L.A. He said they live next door to one another and never talk. He said that's the way it is in L.A. He said he has been in his house and he hears Sandler out on the street yelling for Coney. He said Sandler is out there as the tour bus is driving by. He said he'll ask him to come in but Adam will say he won't come in because he knows he doesn't want him there. Howard said everything is all closed off now and no one comes in.
Conan said his brother lives in Massachusetts and he lives n this place that looks like it has never changed since the 1930s. He said you go there and kids are going in and out through the windows and climbing all over the place. He said they're out playing in the street and all of that. He said it's like a different time. He said in L.A. it's just so different. He said it's emailing about play dates and stuff. Howard said he had to drive his kids around to play dates. He said when he grew up he could just pop in at a friend's house. He said it's weird. He said he likes that Sandler does that to him. He said Sandler was very grateful for what Conan did for him. He said he taught him how to write a script and things like that.
Conan said Sandler was so enthusiastic as a kid when he came in. He said he thought it was the best thing ever. He said that you can go to IHOP with him and he'll say it's the best. He said he was just so enthusiastic and he drafted off of that.
Howard asked if Conan has things in his career that he doesn't remember that are huge. Conan said that he wrote the monorail episode of The Simpsons and the fans love that episode. He said that you go into this room and write the show with people and it's ultimately a team that writes it. He said the Monorail was mostly him. He said that he was asked to come back and sing the song in the show with the gay men's choir. He said it was a highlight of his career. He said he got to sing that song when he had a Ford Taurus and bad skin. He said he wasn't sure if he would ever get what he wanted but he got to sing that song and he did try to take that in.
Howard asked if he won any Emmys for that. Conan said not for that but for Saturday Night Live and other stuff. Howard said he won four total. Conan said he thinks so. Howard asked if he displays them at all. Conan said they're in the basement in a closet. He said a woman who works with them keeps putting them up and he keeps putting them away. Howard asked why she does that. Conan said she thinks they're beautiful. He said he doesn't know. He said he has lost so many awards and they don't seem to line up with what he has done. He said he doesn't win something for the things he thinks deserve it. He said they're a little bit unhealthy. He said they don't bring him joy. Howard said he gets it.
Conan said he walks down the street and people notice him. He said he doesn't dislike people. He said people notice who he is and think he's Jane Lynch at times. He said people will tell him that they listened to him during COVID and it got them through it. He said that means a lot to him. He said he appreciates that so much. He said there are things he has done and he's happy that it brought someone else pleasure. He said he feels good in that moment. Howard said he's not a stand up comedian so that's meaningful. He said he gets feedback and he appreciates it. Conan said he did the late night show for almost 30 years. He said it was 28 or something. He said he doesn't regret any of it. He said he doesn't miss the day to day. He said he likes trying new things. He said there are other great late night show hosts. He said it got to a point when he didn't think he had to be there anymore. He said he's going to do something else now. He said that he does miss an audience every day. He said whenever he sees an opportunity to get in front of people he likes to do that. He said it makes him happy. He said you riff on something and find something funny and make people laugh. He said that gives him a religious feeling of happiness.
Howard asked who the guys were on Saturday Night Live who would come on and kill it and you can't forget about. Conan said one of the all time greats is Springsteen. He said that you understand it's not an accident. He said when he was on the show a couple of times he would show up early to rehearse. He said he would learn the names of everyone there. He said he was a gentleman and figured it all out. He said he didn't have to do what he was doing. He said he was such a good guy. He said he feels the same about Tom Hanks. He said he was great on Saturday Night Live and on his late night show. He said he would show up early and have ideas. He said he would bring stuff to the table. He said he'd stay up until 4 in the morning. He said he would lay here on the conference table and ask what they had. He said he had his own ideas too. He said he was a huge movie star and you could see why he was the man he is.
Howard asked if that's why he likes Dana Carvey too. Conan said it is. He said he's an amazing man too. He said he's very good at figuring out what people make. He said he'd ask him about Howard and he'd be able to figure it out so close that his accountant would think they have a breach. He said he went out to lunch with Dana and he was doing his Jimmy Stewart impression. He said he would do his impression of Jimmy getting a blow job and you're crying seeing it. He said there are some people who turn it on when they're doing their job and then turn it off. He said Dana is like that all the time. He said Dana has been through a lot of intense stuff and he is just an absolute joy. He said it's really fun to go out with him. He said he will ask him how much he thinks someone is worth and he'll go through it and figure out the numbers. Howard said next time he has him on he's going to do that with some people. Conan told him to have him do the Jimmy Stewart thing while he does it.
Howard said that Dave Chappelle is like a super hero the way he does comedy. He said he's so conversational in front of a crowd and he doesn't know where that comes from. Conan said it's combination of crazy talent and so many hours in the cockpit. He said that his shows are like 6 hours long. He said that he has that natural ability to tell a story that you just have to listen.
Howard asked what the story is about him and John Candy. Conan said he and his brothers were staying at this house on Rhode Island and his brothers told him that there was something on TV that was so funny. He said it was SCTV. He said that it was like they were making this for him. He said that's how he related to it. He said the show was just so good and John Candy was his favorite. He said they did this sketch called Yellow Belly. He said it was a promo for a show where John Candy is a coward and he's walking down the street and a little girl walks by and asks if that's Yellow Belly. He said then Yellow Belly turns around and shoots them in the back. He said he laughed so hard at that. He said he had never seen anything like that on TV. He said he laughed and thought about it and it changed his life.
Conan said he told Howard the story about tricking bill Cosby into coming to get a fake award at Harvard. He said they did the same thing for John Candy. He said that was the next year at Harvard. He said he was the one who picked John up at the airport. He said he flew there and he picked him up and he told him how much he loved Yellow Belly. He said he was everything he wanted him to be. He said he was John Candy and funny all the time. He said he called him Kid and he was really great around him. He said he was supposed to be on a diet and he had a fax of what he was supposed to eat and not eat. He said he picked him up and he's walking along and the first thing he does is go into a pastry shop. He said he was stacking eclairs into a box and he sees him looking at him. He said he told him they were Pritican eclairs because he was supposed to be on the Pritican diet.
Conan said he told that story and it turns out John took pictures with him at Harvard and he still had them and his family found them in his stuff. He said it was just amazing to think about that.
Howard said John Candy told Conan to try comedy. Conan said he did. He said he was talking to him and thinking about how nervous he is and how he wasn't sure if he could do it. He said he was going to do this thing that can flame out for people. He said he told John that he was thinking about trying comedy and John whipped around and said you don't try it, you do it or don't do it. He said that hit him powerfully. He said that was his attitude going into it in 1985. He said he didn't want to have a back up.
Howard said it's amazing how he's able to find mentors. He said he was able to trick the guy into showing up at Harvard. He said he went out and got what he needed. He said you don't know that you need that. Conan said now anyone can post a video. He said in Boston back then where was no show business. He said he never saw a famous person. He said he thought this was not going to be a reality for him. Conan said he got very lucky and he was born at the right time and he had some major things break for him. He said he got that show in 1993 and that story is crazy. He said it shouldn't have happened but it did work out. He said he's had such crazy luck. He said there are people who think they did it all themselves. He said it's a lot of luck.
Howard said it's a combination of luck and hard work. Conan said he wants to write it all down because he has an insane story to tell. He said there are so many things that were going on. Howard said he should write it down. He said his father told him that he was nothing like anyone in show business. He said he told him he had none of this.
Howard said he has a big announcement to make today. He said Team Coco radio is laughing next week on channel 106. He said that's going to feature his Podcast Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend and more. He asked if he owns a lot of material to put on there. Conan said they will be able to put some great moments up on the channel from his old show. He said that before they were talking the were playing Creep by Radiohead and that was the first band that played on his show in 1993. He said they played that song. He said what he does is sit with his old music producer and he's been around since day 1. He said they'll talk about things like that and you get to hear the story about how they put Green Day on TV for the first time and things like that. He said there will be a lot of comedy and music on the channel.
Howard said what he's saying is that he's not going to pull an Oprah and not put any energy into the channel. Conan said he thinks that Oprah did little else than think about her channel there. Howard said you'd tune into her channel and never hear Oprah on it. He said with Conan they'll hear him actually on the show. Conan said he's very invested in the show and you'll hear a lot of him if you want to or not.
Howard said also on the channel they'll hear Andy Richter's show too. Conan said that he often just asks one question and keeps talking. Howard said he will tune in for that. He said J.B. Smoove will be on the channel too. Conan said he just taped something with him and he brings it every time. He said J.B. won't know where he's going with something and he'll call him out on it. He said J.B. will just tell him to shut the fuck up.
Howard said he had J.B. on the show once and he was telling him about the sketches he pitched at Saturday Night Live that got rejected. Conan said they have this meeting that they would pitch in and J.B. would always come in and destroy. He said he would just make stuff up on the spot and it destroyed. Howard said he told him about this Urine Detective sketch he had. He said it was so funny. He said it was the greatest idea he had ever heard. He said he should do a show where he produces them. He said it was fantastic. Conan said he's absolutely fearless. He said J.B. has a great delivery and the way he delivers stuff is just the best.
Howard said he saw J.B. at a Knick game once and he said he thought he was more famous than this because he was in the third row. He said he went into a speech about why it was better to be in that third row. He said it was all in the moment.
Howard said Team Coco is going to be all of these other shows and Conan's show. Howard asked if he's going to give notes and keep track of all of these shows. Conan said he wants them to do their own thing so there are no notes to give to Andy or J.B.. He said he will talk to Howard about it but not to the guys who are doing the show.
Howard said he's excited about this new channel coming there. He said if he fucks up in the morning they can tune into his channel. He said it's a safety net for him as well. He said if he plays his cards right Jennifer Witz may have a picture of him hanging in her office. Howard said she has one of Andy Cohen in there. Howard told Conan that story. He said he brought it up on the radio but not to Jennifer. Conan said after all of this they have learned nothing.
Howard asked Conan about how he has learned that you have to get 8 hours of sleep to have a healthy life. Howard said he gets between 5 and 7 hours. He asked how Conan sleeps that much. Conan said he tries to figure out how to get 8 but he doesn't get it all the time. He said there are more and more studies that say you need it. He said everything reboots while you sleep. He said it's miraculous what happens when you sleep. He said he gets up to pee but he learned to just wet the bed instead of getting up.
Howard said his mother used to tell him to just lay there if you can't sleep. He said he can't do it. Conan said he reads. He said read something you don't love that much. He said he reads a lot of Old testament. He said it puts him right out.
Howard said he was reading this book about death and dying and he can't last 2 pages through it. He said he's trying to negotiate death and it puts him out. Howard asked what he's reading. Conan said he was reading George Orwell's 1984 again. He said he found a book called a Compete History of Russia. He said it's a short book and it's kind of incredible. He said it takes you from the start to Putin. He said you see what the issue is with Russia. He said he'll get Howard the name of the book. He said he could read it in 2 days.
Howard said he heard in the Weird Al movie Conan is really good. He said he likes Weird Al and he has to check that movie out. He said Conan is getting raves for playing Andy Warhol. Conan said people do seem happy with it. He said Al asked him to do this. He said he did it after his show wrapped. He said that was a while ago. He said everything he has ever done in his life goes right out there. He said he shoots this thing and he forgot that he even did it. He said it was friends telling him they liked what he did. He said he shot it like a year and a half ago and he has no memory of it.
Howard asked how he got picked to do that role. Conan said he thinks that Al just wanted some crazy cameos. He said he thought it sounded cool when he heard about what it was. He said he just went into it not knowing the script or anything. He said it's kind of freeing to do that. He said he's more willing to try things and just do it. Howard said he's been asked to do movies and stuff and he turns it down because he's afraid it's going to be bad. He said you have to take a risk. Conan said he did something that's coming out next summer and he thinks it's going to be good. He said it's the Please Don't Destroy guys from Saturday Night Live. He said he thinks that they asked him to do it because he resembles one of them and looks like his dad. He said that's how he plays in the movie. He said he likes being around the younger guys in comedy.
Howard said he saw that he produced something with Chris Redd from Saturday Night Live. He asked how that happened. Conan said he did a thing with Chris and Moses Storm before he was on Saturday Night Live. He said that he wanted to work with him again so that's why they did the comedy thing.
Howard said he knows he's taken up a lot of his time. Conan said this is therapy for him today. He said he owes Howard like 250 bucks for this. Howard said Conan is out and about out there. He asked about getting COVID. Conan said he got it and he never thought he was going to have to go to the hospital. Howard said he's still not going out. Conan said Jimmy got him out one night. Howard said he had a great time but he's still COVID paranoid.
Howard gave Conan some plugs for the Coco Radio channel. He said next time Dana Carvey is on the show he's going to figure out what kind of money Conan is making for this channel he has now. Conan said he'll probably be within 100,000 dollars. He said he guarantees that.
Howard thanked Conan for coming in. Conan thanked them for being so nice to him. Howard let him go after that. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard said he got the good news this morning about Chris Evans being the sexiest man alive in People Magazine. He said it was another Marvel guy. He said last year it was Paul Rudd. He said he must have lost his sexiness. He said now it's Chris Evans. He said he's posing in a t-shirt and looks like he just fixed a car. He said he's wearing a ratty shirt.
Robin said she doesn't find him sexy even though he's good looking. Howard said once he plays Doctor Doom he'll be the sexiest man alive. He said he's sure of it.
Howard said he didn't watch the election stuff. He said he's only against these maniacs who deny elections and are against democracy. He said forget about everything else. He said it's just about that. He said the maniacs who think Donald Trump won the election are the ones he's against.
Howard asked what happened to the woman in Arizona who was an election denier. Robin said she's behind so far. Howard said thank god. He said he hates that when they're saying if they win everything is correct but if they lose then it was stolen. He said Trump started all of this. He said you have to be against all of that. He said it's insane.
Robin said Hershel Walker is going to be in a run off. Howard said it's shocking that people think he's working with a full deck. He said you have to think about all the people who died in World War II trying to protect our rights.
Howard said the guys have a montage of Kari Lake and her crazy talk. He played the clip of Lake making insane comments. Howard said she is a nut job.
Howard said a lot of fans wrote in about this stuff. He took a call from a woman who said Kari Lake is already calling the election rigged. She said there's also a quote from Trump saying that if someone he backed wins he should get all the credit and if the lose then they shouldn't blame him. Howard said you can't vote for these people. He said even if you agree with their agenda. He said you have to have respect for the people who died and fought for this country. He said it's insanity.
Howard said a lot of these republicans may go back to being normal. The caller said Ron DeSantis won it in Florida and she's hoping that he and Trump go at each other. Howard said Trump fucked up this country so bad. He said if he had won a second term it would have been a disaster. He said everything would have been backwards.
Howard said Biden got us on track and established us again with the rest of the world. He said things are fucked up with the Russia and Ukraine thing and things are bad but Ukraine hasn't fallen to Russia. He said you have pride over seas and they got the vaccinations out in an orderly way. He said jobs have gone up and there's a lot of good signs. He said there's some shit going on but the shit really would have hit the fan if we stayed on the Trump tracks. He said the Supreme Court is backwards thanks to Trump. He said if he were Biden he'd appoint more justices. He said that's what he should do.
Howard said Biden is running things and not screaming and carrying on about people. He said he's not doing the crazy talk like Trump.
Howard said his Hershel Walker thing is crazy. He said Brian Kemp won Governor in Georgia. He said there are plenty of Republicans winning. Robin said Dr. Oz lost by the way.
Howard said a lot of fans wrote in about the Hershel Walker game. He said Robin wasn't able to get them all right. He said she thought that Wack Pack said things that Hershel said. He said his daughter Emily called and said she was able to figure it out. He said she did a little better than Robin did.
Howard said some fans wrote in about the game and he had more to play. He read a quote for Robin to figure out. Robin figured it was a Hershel Walker quote. She was right. It was bat shit stuff about disinformation and getting a group to look into men looking at women on social media. Howard said how about we stop Hershel Walker from looking at women.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Kari Lake was a local news anchor in the Albany area. He said he should get JD on that. He said she was up there for a number of years. He said F-Jackie too. Howard said alright.
Howard said Kari was an anchor woman. Robin said she's out in Arizona now. Howard said he's not sure what he's going to do with that information. He said he thought he was going to say she did something crazy there. He said he's not sure what the point was there.
Howard said Kari Lake said she was going to reform media if she had won. Howard asked what that means. He said she's going to silence the press? He said we like he press. He said we want to know if there's corruption. He asked when this country got so backwards.
Howard said these people are traitors to this country. He said we want freedom of the press. He said she's not what this country is about.
Howard said this woman should have lost by a landslide. He said she even got a nomination. He said this is the party that thinks they have rigged elections. He said if someone thinks killing a bunch of cops during the January 6th insurrection was a good thing then don't vote for them.
Howard said now the guys are saying that she has not lost. Robin said she hasn't conceded. Jon Hein said it's too close to call. Howard said that means someone buys into her saying she's going to be the worst enemy of the press. Robin said that's saying that half the state voted for her. Howard said he thought that he'd live there one day. He said he always wanted to live there. He said he'd go on vacation there and it was kind of cool. He said now he doesn't want to live there. He said it's a nut job place. He asked how you can vote for someone who says that you're going to be the worst nightmare for the press. He said just do your job.
Howard said it's fucked up. He said this country is getting more and more fucked up. He said it's crazy times. He doesn't get it at all. Robin said she doesn't get giving up democracy. She said it's crazy.
Howard let the two of them go at each other for a couple of minutes. Howard said he can't tell who the real Mitch is here. Live Mitch said it's him. Howard said they're never going to get through this. He closed the door on both of them. Howard and Robin talked about some of the insults they were throwing at each other.
Howard said he wants to hear one of the lines again that the audio book Mitch said. He asked him to say that watery egg drop soup semen again. The guys played that one again for Howard. Howard said Robin was intrigued about what he said about his own neck. They replayed a clip about his neck pussy.
Howard had live Mitch come back on too. The two of them started to go at each other again. Live Mitch said that he does not have a neck pussy. He said his semen isn't like egg drop soup, it's more like tapioca.
Howard said he likes those two arguing with each other. He said no one is doing humor like that anymore.
Howard said his father would throw him in a room and tell him to just watch. He said he didn't introduced him to anyone. He said he was seeing really exciting stuff. He said he saw the recording cartoon voice sessions. He said his father didn't explain anything to him. He said he would just tell him to sit there and not annoy anyone.
Howard said he saw Don Adams and Larry Storch in studio. He said it was really cool stuff. He said his father would ell him about the radio station they were next to and he got to look at the disc jockey. He said he'd just stand there and stare. He said he didn't get to do anything. He said it was that kind of day.
Howard said his dad would report to his mother. He said this was around Easter. He said it was an Easter meal at work. He said he'd get a plate and eat. He said then his father would report back that he ate and he thinks that's how they eat every day. He said he made the mistake of telling his father that was a great place to work because they had great food.
Howard did his impressions of his parents talking about all of that. He said that his mother forced him to take him to the movies and that's how he ended up taking him to see Barbarella. He said his mother told his father he had to have some relationship with him. He said his father chose that movie and Jane Fonda is naked in it. He said even she says it was crazy. He said she showed her titties in that. He said he saw it and remembers her being a goddess. He said that he was next to his father watching it. He said he's not sure if it was R or X rated. He said he figured his dad was getting aroused. Robin said maybe he went with him because he couldn't go with his mom. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard said he remembers driving home and there was no discussion about what they had just seen. He said he's not sure how he functions in his life. He said no one addressed it. He said he doesn't remember if his mother talked about that with him or not. He said she may not have even asked what they saw.
Howard said he remembers how uncomfortable he was. He said he doesn't know what was going on there. He said here are a lot of unanswered questions in his life. He said he has to ask his mother about this stuff. He said he took a week off from visiting her. He said he has to go in again. He said he tried to ask her about growing up where they did and she told him he never said anything to him about his friends all moving away. He said she gets upset and defends what a good mother she thought she was. Howard said he didn't want to hear that shit.
Howard said his mother told him she was upset about him not going to an Ivy League school like the kids of her friends did. He said it may have been because he was a little fucked up from the way he was raised.
Howard said he would ask his mother about the Barbarella thing and that would upset her. He said she acts like he's killing her with his words.
Howard said his mother would tell him about this child psychologist Haim Ginott and this book she read. He said she keeps telling him how good he turned out. Howard said he's insane and he didn't turn out well. He said they don't see that. Robins said they were insane too. She said he's an improvement on the original. Howard said maybe.
Howard said there's a quote in the book that says you should say nice thinks about your children and let them hear you. He said he never heard anything like that.
Howard said now he has no frizz. He said that's because of this new product. Howard said he would name them but he gives no free rides. He said he'll tell him what it is. He said he has a new friend who knows about curly hair. He said he told him about this stuff. He said he's from Columbia. He said he told him he should use this.
Howard said he has all of these pictures of his paintings in his phone. He went through those and looked for this hair stuff. He said he painted this for his daughter who is getting married. He said she wanted him to paint something. Howard said his baby Ashley is getting married. He said she's marrying a guy named Adam. He said he likes Adam. He said he's very good to her. Robin said she always has a big smile on her face. Howard said this guy treats her like a princess.
Howard said he took a picture of this hair gel. He said he has to tell this guy what it is. The caller said he can tell him later on the air. Howard said he would tell him if he had it. He said he would ask Beth but you don't know what's doing upstairs. He said last night was bad. He said that he didn't want to come down for breakfast this morning. He said Beth is nonstop crying. He said he doesn't know how to console anyone. He said they say you should hug a woman if they're crying. He said Beth said that she wrote to her aunt and she said she wished she was there to hug her. Howard said he tried to hug her and she said she didn't like to be hugged. He said he wanted to hug her but she didn't want that. He said he doesn't know what to do.
The caller asked if they have a Flat Ronnie for him. Howard asked Gary if they do. Gary said he has no idea but they'll look into it. Howard said give him something if he doesn't have one.
Howard said he's been cleaning out his office and getting rid of stuff. He said he's been giving some of it to Jimmy Kimmel. He said they give him 10 items a day to decide on. He said he can't throw stuff out. He said he has all of this stuff in there and some of it is really nice so he doesn't want to throw it out. He said he has stuff from Private Parts. He said he can't throw out the 3,000 Flat Ronnie's. He said he has to have someone make the decisions. He said if they find one of those things send it to that caller, Paul.
Howard said last night they ordered some sushi and Beth was crying hysterically. He said he knew what was going on. He said she thinks it's Yoda's time. He hasn't eaten for two days and he's wasting away. He said then all off a sudden he goes to see the cat and has him come over. He said the cat seems to be doing fine. He said he's in complete denial. He said he loves this cat so much. He said he's the best. He said he does nothing wrong. He said he will hump Mooshu once in a while but other than that he does nothing wrong.
Howard said Beth wrote two books about Yoda and how he has made it through this heart condition he had. He said now he has cancer and a lung thing going on. He said they're just keeping him comfortable. Howard said he's still not eating. He said he looks like he's had it. He said the love him so much but he's had it. He said Beth thought that they had to call the vet to come take care of him today. He said they can't have so many cats. He said they can't keep going through this. He said it's too depressing. He said they were happy before cats.
Howard said he hates crying in front of the veterinarians. He said he thinks what he's looking at today is that he has to let Yoda go. He said Beth decided that he has to be the one to be with the cat when they put him to sleep. He said he likes being the macho man but he thinks that Yoda would rather look at Beth than him. He said he has to step up and be the man though. He said he has to be the one to sit with the vet and put Yoda to sleep today.
Robin asked if he looked at the cat last night and figured it was his time. Howard said that's Beth. He said he can't make that decision. He said he had to call the vet. He said Beth said if he makes the call he'll take the call. Howard said he called and the guy was in the middle of making calls to other people. He said then Beth looks at him like he was doing something wrong. He said he told her that he was Howard Stern. He said the woman who took the call knew who he was. He said the vet did call. He said he seems to feel that Yoda's number is up.
Howard said last night he sat and pet Yoda. He said he was talking to him saying he has to rebound. He said he was just looking at him with vacant eyes. He said he told him he's his boy and he spent so much time with him. He said he lived and he wasn't supposed to last. He said he has to go up today and hold Yoda and watch them put a needle into him. He said he can't bare it.
Gary said that he has some advice. He said he went through this last Tuesday. He said he stepped up and said he was going to be the man. He said he knew Mary couldn't take it. He said he was sobbing. Howard said he's done this three times already. Gary said he didn't want Mary to be there. He said it's a two shot process and Mary stayed for that and then said goodbye and then left for the hard part. Howard said it would be easier for him to put Gary down over his cat. He said no offense. Gary said he understands that. Howard said it would be hard to do that too.
Robin asked if that was a cat Gary lost. Gary said it was. He said it was a North Shore cat. He said it was 13 years old. He said it's a hard decision to make. He said Sam Simon said that its better to put them down a day early than a day late. He said it's you keeping them around for yourself instead of thinking about them. Howard said he has to deal with that today after the show. He said he can't take anymore sadness.
Robin said she has two 14 year old cats. She said she's so glad they're there and healthy. Howard said it's so said when a cat dies. He said it's a different thing with people. Robin said she can't stand to see an animal abused in a movie. She said that's worse than people.
Robin said she was up this morning and she was dancing to the music on a commercial. She said she was on day 8 and dancing. She said Howard's not dancing. Howard said people at mental institutions dance all day. He said that he'd admire her if she was protesting something. He said she's on her fast for no reason.
Howard asked if Robin feels weak at all. Robin said not at all. She said she was dancing around and laughing at herself. Howard said good for you. He said he doesn't want to hear about this anymore. Robin said she has decided she will go until day 10. She said she's done after that. Howard said she's nuts.
Howard asked the guys if they think Robin's body is eating her brain and she's going nuts. Fake Dr. Now (Chris) came on and talked about what Robin's problem is. He said it's that she needs psychotherapy. He said she's like the little girl still lost inside her. He said there's more shit coming out her mouth than coming out her ass. He said she talks a lot of crap.
Howard asked when Robin last shit. Robin said she did this morning. She said it doesn't look like shit. She said it's a watery mucus kind of thing. She said she's glad it's out. Dr. Now said he thinks she's melting and it's coming out her ass.
Howard said Robin thinks she just eliminated a problem when she sees that mucus. Dr. Now said that's her organs she's shitting out. Robin laughed and said he really is a riot. Robin said she had a rash on her face and now it's gone. She said it went away when she started fasting. Howard said if she ate normal meals she'd be fine. Robin said she eats normal.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he went out to dinner with Robin and she ate some salad and shrimp and she got sick after that. Robin said she over ate a bit. Ralph said she had a crab cake and a salad and that was too much food. He said there's something going on with her. Robin said Ralph was the one who got sick. Dr. Now told her to just listen to Ralph.
Howard said he wishes Robin a lot of luck. He said he doesn't like what she's doing. He said skip a meal here and there. He said his wife does that. He said he's not sure who her guru is but stop getting advice from that person. He said she finds mentors and that's who she follows.
Robin said she was reading about the viral gut. Dr. Now asked what she's reading. Robin said this is not about fasting. She said it's about improving your biome.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's on Robin's side in this. He said he fasted for 48 days. His phone connection wasn't good so Dr. Now said he must be eating his phone. Howard asked the caller, David, what he was saying. David said he fasted for 48 days years ago. He said he's 71. He said that when you eat your pipes fill up with stuff that you have to get rid of. He said that you have to clear it out. Howard said his dad ate every day for 99 years and he was fine. He said you don't have to do this. David said that he pooped on the 40th day and it was like a Crayon. He said he doesn't do that stuff anymore but he believes in fasting once a week. He said he's with Robin on that. He said he loves her dearly. Dr. Now said Robin sounds just like this weirdo.
Howard said the name of the book Robin was reading is The Anti-Viral Gut: Tackling Pathogens from the Inside Out.
Howard asked Chris if he thinks Robin is nuts on this. Chris said that it is. He said this can't be good for you. Robins said she has read enough to be comfortable doing this. She said that he's just not with her. Chris said that Ralph is very concerned too. He said he knows that from hanging out with him. Robin said Ralph is a concern too. Howard said she's right about that. He said he's concerned about Ralph too.
Chris said that Ralph told him a crazy story about his life. He said he went on a vacation years ago and he's not sure how he got out of the country. He said it's fucking wacky. Howard said he has to tell that on another day. He said they have things to do today.
Howard said he may have to call the person whose name they don't mention. Robin said don't do that. She said that he probably already knows. She said she wont take Howard's calls this weekend if he does. Howard said Robin does look good. He said her skin looks good. Robin said her skin looks great. She said she was in pain. She said everything is fine now. She asked why things would get better if fasting was bad. Howard said he'll keep his mouth shut. Robin said she was eating when she fell at the door of Target. Howard said he's got a lot of things to worry about. He said he has Robin and Yoda. He said he knows Robin will be okay.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wanted to talk about adopting a hospice foster years ago. She said that it lived for 3 years. She said she wishes people knew about this and would do the same thing. Howard said this is the kind of person he likes. He said people like kittens but they grow fast. He said when you adopt an older cat you know their personality and all of that. He said then you feel good too. He said it's the right thing to do. He thanked her for the call. Robin said one of her cats she got when it was 9. She said it's 14 now. Howard said he's afraid Robin is going to get so hungry that she'll eat one of those cats. Robin said that's horrible. Howard said Robin has been a cat lover even longer than he has. He said he had a cat when his kids were young. He said they're great. He went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he loves this song. He said it's a beautiful song and he's a beautiful man. Robin wondered if Alexa answers to this when the song plays.
Howard said he was just thinking about his cat. He said anything emotional gets him nuts. Robin said she doesn't envy him. Howard said he doesn't envy himself 2 hours from now either.
Howard did a live read for Steven Singer Jewelers and he started singing the Love Boat theme. He didn't know all the words so Robin got into it too.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake William Shatner who wanted to help with the song. He sang the theme in his own unique style.
Bill said he wants to do a scene with him too. Howard said he's not sure about that. Bill said he can go back to singing. Howard agreed to do the scene from Star Trek. Bill told Howard what he has to do. Bill was playing himself and Howard had to play Khan. Howard said he saw that movie like 50 times so he knows what to do. Howard and fake Bill went into the scene and acted it out. Howard let Bill go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he fasted for over 40 days. Howard said he's done talking about the fasting. He said Robin is feeling better so that's all he wants to know. Howard said he likes to eat. Robin said the Pope agrees with Howard. She said he says that food is a gift from god. Howard said he's not into denying himself these things. He said that's how Robin rolls.
Robin said she was thinking about what it means to be human. She asked what everyone does. She said it's all about satisfying your 5 senses. She said it's all masturbation. Howard said he thinks that she's into punishing herself. Robin said she feels fine. Howard asked what she feels guilty about. Robin said she feels fine so how is she being punished. Howard said this is a severe thing. Robin said if she was suffering she'd eat something. Howard said he can't stop her from doing this. He said she's made her point.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if they would ever consider doing The Masked Singer. Howard said he likes Nick Cannon and that the show is doing well. He said he thought he had made a mistake leaving America's Got Talent but he made the right decision. He said the show is doing well. He said Nick had his convictions and he stuck with them. He said he admires that. Robin said someone left a show and she was wondering how Howard would feel about it. Howard said he'd probably be against it.
Howard said Nick was right about leaving the show and all of that. He said in all due respect if he goes on the Masked Singer that means that everything is over for him. He said to dress up in a costume and sing isn't good. He said that he's not sure how the show even goes. The caller said she thinks Robin should do it. Robin said as soon as she sings they'd know who it is.
Howard said the Masked Singer makes Celebrity Wheel of Fortune look like the Oscar's. He said he would never do that show. He said you go on that show when things aren't going well for you. He said it's when you need exposure. He said people think that you go on there and something will happen. He said it's never happened for anyone on that show. Howard said the show is big and all but nothing will turn around in your career.
Howard said he knows Rudy Giuliani did the show. Robin said look at his career. Howard said he's not going to be on a show judged by Jenny McCarthy either. He said he should be judging her. Howard thanked the caller for the call. He said she's banned from doing the show now.
Robin asked what Howard thinks about James Corden leaving. Howard said he thinks he'll regret leaving after 3 years. Robin asked about Trevor Noah leaving The Daily Show. Howard said that's a huge mistake. He said a lot of times they're forced out. He said he doesn't know what's going on with those shows but a lot of times they ask them to leave and they let them say they're just leaving. He said they don't announce they were fired. Howard said they never did that with him. He said they just fired him.
Howard said WNBC made an announcement about him being fired. He said it was an official thing. He said they said they had creative differences and they fired him. Fred played a clip of the announcement from WNBC where John Hayes made their announcement about Howard being fired from WNBC. He said it was conceptual differences. Fred played a ''Fuck you!'' drop after that.
Howard said he doesn't think they ever did anything like that for anyone else so he's kind of honored. Howard did his impression of John Hayes doing the announcement.
Howard said he was honored that WNBC had to address his firing in some way. Robin said he was so important there that they couldn't just slip someone else in there.
Howard did more of his impression of John Hayes and goofed on that announcement. Robin said what's funny is that someone upstairs had to tell Howard it was over. She said John got to tell her.
Howard said John was thrilled to make that announcement. He said that guy hated him. Robin said he didn't get to say those words to him though. She said that he did that with her. Howard said he loved going into his office to ransack his office. He said he pushed him out his door. He said that guy really wanted him out of there. Howard kept going into his John Hayes impression and announcing his firing. He made up different reasons and insults.
Howard said they were talking about this new Vabbing thing on TikTok. He said there's another wacky trend called Crying Selfies. He said women are posting videos of themselves crying. He said they think it started with Bella Hadid. He said they considered her very brave for doing that. He said Bella said she wanted to share that she has struggles and anxiety just like anyone else. He said now people are doing the same. He said some people are trying to get in on this fad without even crying. He said you can put make up on a certain way to make it look like you were crying.
Howard played some audio of crying selfie make up tips. Howard said this only works for hot chicks. He said you don't hear about not hot chicks getting attention for crying on TikTok.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he lost his parents and he and his mom bonded over the show. He said she laughed and laughed listening to the show in her final years. He said he has been a loyal fan since the WBCN days. Howard said that means a lot. He said he loves what he had to say. He said that her only laugh was him and they sat by the radio listening together. He said he was like a life raft for them. the caller said it was for him too. He said you need a great laugh and Howard was there for them. He said he's glad Robin is still with us too. He said when she was diagnosed back in 2013 or whenever he thought there would be no show without her. Robin said it was in 2012. Howard said he was thinking the same thing.
Robin asked what it was that made his mom laugh. The caller said Eric the Actor and Sal and Richard. He said that they were just a couple of things that made her laugh. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard said a lot of fans wrote in about Conan O'Brien. He read some feedback about that interview. He had a bunch of positive comments about Conan. Howard said people loved the Hershel Walker game too.
Howard said he's fine with whatever Ronnie does. He said he's not going to be upset if he doesn't invite him. He said he'd go if he wasn't so worried about germs. He said he'd have a blast out in Vegas. He said they could sit an goof on Ronnie the whole time.
Howard said Gary made a prediction on the Wrap Up Show about the wedding if it happened. He played a clip of Gary talking about what he thinks would happen. He said he thinks Howard would want to go but he doesn't think he would make the trip. He said that it's a big party so Howard may not go. Howard said he wouldn't go.
Howard asked Ronnie if he wants to make his announcement now. Ronnie came on and said not yet. He said he hasn't asked Stephanie about it yet. He said he hasn't had a chance. He said she was in New York and she just got back.
Howard said if he had a small wedding he'd go if they were all tested. He said he's not going to get COVID going to Ronnie's wedding. He said he loves Ronnie but he's not going to Vegas. He said that he could be announcing that he's going to be a dad. He said that would be great.
Howard asked what he would do if Stephanie got pregnant. Ronnie said he's not sure. He said he has thought about it. He said they have been doing it for 16 years and it hasn't happened. Howard asked if he would pull a Hershel Walker and give her 700 bucks. Ronnie said no way. He said the birth control must work. He said either that or his shit is all gone already. He said maybe he's shooting blanks. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard asked if Stephanie would get rid of the baby. Ronnie said she has made it clear that she would never do that.
Howard asked when the big announcement might be made. Ronnie said he has to get some stuff straightened out first before he can do that. Howard said that's kind of cryptic. Ronnie puppet said he has to figure out how to draw a clock first. Ronnie said he'll have an answer very soon. He said he's not sure why it's such a big thing.
Howard said big stars have to consult with their people. Ronnie said that Gary was very funny yesterday. He said he sent him a text asking him if something should happen he'd like to make plans way in advance. Gary said he's blocking out dates for next year so he was asking if he should block out some dates for something for him. Howard said it sounds like he's getting married and that's what this is all about. Robin asked if he thinks they already got married. Howard said he thinks they'd just tell you. Ronnie said maybe they're just planning the party of the century.
Howard asked who is invited. Ronnie said that's the whole thing. He said with a fucking wedding... He asked who needs that aggravation. Howard said he knows Benjy isn't invited. He asked who else won't be. Ronnie said he doesn't want to get into that now.
Howard said this is no big deal so just say what he has to say. Ronnie said they started it. He said he didn't bring it up. He said he can't answer if he's getting married. Howard said this is ridiculous. He said he's like Prince Harry. Robin said it would only be a surprise if the wedding doesn't include Stephanie. Howard said Ronnie really sees himself as an important guy. Howard said he thinks he knows why this is. He said he thinks he has to decide on giving photo rights to People magazine or to them. Ronnie said that's it.
Howard said he was kidding about Benjy but it seems Ronnie is not. Ronnie said he didn't say there was a wedding. He said he didn't say he would leave him out. He said he breaks his balls all the time but he likes him.
Howard asked if he invites a Wolfie or leave him out of it. Ronnie said he doesn't want to get into this. Howard asked if he would invite him to the wedding if he was getting married. Ronnie said there has to be a cut off line and that's why he hates this kind of shit. Howard said how about Mike Pearlman. Ronnie said he doesn't have a list.
Howard said forget the list for a minute. He said just say he's having a wedding and he has to invite people. Ronnie said he would most likely invite Mike. Howard asked about Blitt. Ronnie said he has to be there. He said he's his guy. He said he's his CIA guy who handles him.
Howard asked if he would have Wolfie there. Ronnie said he didn't say anything about that. Howard told Wolfie to brace himself, he's not invited. Ronnie said he never said that. Wolfie said that hurts. He said he didn't have to say that on the air that way. Ronnie said he didn't say anything. Ronnie told him to go cry in his soup.
Robin asked about Chris. Ronnie asked why they're doing this now. He said he never said that he wasn't going to do this. Howard said Wolfie is the only no so far. He said he's having everyone else.
Howard asked about Steve Nowicki. Ronnie said he's another one who sent him a text yesterday. He said he's not sure if he can say what he said. Steve said he's planning his own wedding for next year and he wants to make sure they're not doing it on the same day. Jon Blitt said they should be on the same day so they have to choose. He said he'd choose Ronnie over Steve.
Ronnie asked if he watched this week's SEAL Team. Howard said he did. He said it was real good. Howard said he and Ronnie watch a lot of masculine shows. Ronnie said he wants to see the new Sylvester Stallone show. JD said it's called Tulsa King. Everyone had to ask what JD had just said. Howard said he loves that JD tells you and you have no idea what he said.
Howard asked what the show is about. JD said it's about a mobster that gets released from jail and he gets assigned a new post in Oklahoma. He said it's from he creator of Yellowstone. Howard said he has no idea what JD just said. He asked him to explain that again. JD was trying to do that but everyone was laughing at him. Howard had everyone calm down so JD could explain. JD got out a good explanation finally.
Howard said in other words he's playing a bad guy. Robin said he hasn't explained this quite well. Howard said let him do it.
Howard read the show description. It wasn't quite what JD was saying. JD said he took the short way with things. Robin said he missed the point. Howard said Stallone is playing a Capo. He said he's not an enforcer like JD said he was. Howard said it sounds like something he'd watch.
Howard said he loves JD's reviews. He did his impression of JD telling a story. He said when JD writes to him he's very clear. Robin said if he was writing to him he'd get the story right.
Howard said he has Sylvester on the phone to explain the show. He took the call from fake Stallone who was mumbling his way through his explanation. Howard asked if he's a good guy or a bad guy. Fake Sylvester explained it and only got a few clear words out.
Howard had JD talk to his hero Sylvester Stallone. JD said he still looks like he's in good shape. Howard let Sly go a short time later.
Howard said JD can clear out the computer a bit if he wants to. JD said sure. Howard said he has some Baseball Blunders to play. He asked JD where they're at with baseball. JD said a few words about that and then Howard said he loves that Wolfie is out of Ronnie's wedding. He said he's going to talk to Ronnie about it and tell him to have him there too. Wolfie said if he's the only guy that would look really bad. Howard said it is cruel. Howard said maybe Wolfie should just plan to be out there and run into the guys out there accidentally. Blitt said maybe a Flat Wolfie could go to the wedding or he could go in a disguise. Howard said a disguise would be great.
Howard said he thinks that Ronnie would not invite Mike Fox to his wedding. Ronnie said he isn't talking about this. Howard asked Mike if he would be bummed out. Mike said he would be a bit bummed. He said he likes Ronnie and he hopes he likes him. Robin said he should plan a night out with Wolfie.
Howard said JD could have both of them on via Facetime. Ronnie said when he was talking to Blitt about this he was saying he probably wouldn't invite Mike Fox. He said Blitt is his man and he doesn't get along with Mike. Blitt said he's not fighting with him at all. He said he doesn't like or dislike him. He said it's more insignificant.
Howard asked if Steve is having Mike to his wedding. Steve said he had to make a line somewhere and Mike will not be invited. Mike said that's okay. Steve said that Mike got married and he wasn't invited.
Howard asked if Steve invited Wolfie. Steve said he did. Howard said everyone wants JD there. Steve said of course. Howard said he thinks JD wasn't that popular in high school and college but he's managed to turn his life around. Wolfie said he's like a mascot that they have to have there.
Ronnie asked when Mike had his wedding. Mike said it was in April. He said he would have invited Ronnie if he was there. He said Derek and Memet came. He said an off air guy or two came. He said it was pretty small. He said the wedding was 160 people. Mike asked Gary if he would have come. Gary said not after last week. Jason said he heard that they got into a big fight. Gary said it wasn't a fight. He said he just let him have it. He said Mike said to him that he wanted to do promo for Bruce. He said he did this thing for Bruce and it turned out it was Mike mocking him every other word. He said he told Mike he's not doing this for him anymore. He said he was trying to make him look like a dick.
Howard played a clip of Mike goofing on Gary with this fake promo he created. Mike said he thought it was just a fun thing to do. He said he didn't think it was vicious at all. Gary said people there thought he had done something to Mike to upset him.
Howard said he's going to try to get Ronnie to invite these guys to his wedding if he gets married.
Howard said the did an investigation and came to the conclusion that the guy was calling out to the Dinger mascot.
JD said the next day an ESPN announcer seemed to say the N-word when she was trying to say Dinger. She did seem to slip and said the word. Howard replayed the clip and she did seem to say the N-word and then corrected herself.
JD had another clip of an announcer doing an impression that sounded kind of racist when he said ''be bery, bery careful.'' in an Asian accent. He claimed it was an Elmer Fudd impression.
JD said that was in the middle of a game so they were going him shit online. He said a few innings later he gave an apology. Howard had that clip where he apologized for what he had said earlier. He said he didn't intend for any offensive thing. He said he has the utmost respect for the guy.
Howard said that's the problem with social media. He said it happens immediately. JD said last year here were some players mic'd up and they were talking to the announcers. He said a pitcher didn't know that his microphone was on and he was swearing on air.
Gary said they did a Mets game where the had the pitcher on microphone as he was pitching. He said he was talking to the announcers. Howard said that's a good way to pump up the game a bit because it can get boring.
Howard played the clip and the guy was on the field and the announcers were trying to talk to the pitcher and he didn't hear them but he was on the microphone swearing. Howard said that microphone was working just fine. Robin said she likes that.
JD said at a Boston game Alex Rodriguez was getting heckled and they had to cut the audio completely. He said they were harassing him over dating J-Lo too. Howard played that clip where the Red Sox fans were heckling A-Rod. There was a lot of cutting in and out of the audio. JD said they tried to lower the background noise in the next game but that didn't work. He said you could hear the A-Rod stuff and also ''fuck Joe Biden.'' Howard asked why they do this in front of the crowd. JD said he doesn't know. He said it gets people going. He said it's the outside element that they love.
Gary said they do a thing on ESPN for college football and the kids are out there early in the morning doing that kind of stuff.
Howard said Wolfie should go to Ronnie's wedding and stand outside heckling him. He told JD he had a nice package there. He said he should be careful saying stuff like that.
Howard said he has a package from Jason too. He said he has a nice package too. He said Jason looks like he hasn't eaten in 8 days. Robin said she and Jason were on video together with Jon Hein and he Jon was saying he might have to try to lose weight too.
Howard asked Jason how much weight he's lost. Jason said it's over 90 pounds so far. Ronnie brought up his commercial that he did with Nutrisystem. Jason said he has a real one coming out in January that will air on TV. Gary said now Jason can chop wood since he lost weight. Jason said he can go outside and do all of this stuff now. Blitt said that Jason walked up the stairs at Red Rocks and it was quite impressive.
Howard asked Ronnie if Jason is invited to his wedding. Ronnie asked why he's putting him on the spot like this. Howard said he guesses he's not invited then. Jason said Ronnie was a big part of his wedding but times have changed so you do what you have to do.
Howard said he didn't know Jason didn't make the cut. Ronnie said they're not even... He cut himself off.
Howard said he thinks JD may have to do the video conferencing with Wolfie and Jason. JD said they may need a robot with an iPad attached to it to go around the wedding. That led to them talking about Gary texting Ronnie about the wedding thing. Gary said he thinks that Ronnie is still mad at him. He said he gets it if he doesn't invite him.
Howard and Gary talked about he whole invite thing for a short time. Gary said that his invitations went out in waves and Ronnie got upset when he didn't get his first. He said that he called him asking if he was invited. He said yes and he'd get it in a few days.
Howard said guys who are not invited he will say that Ronnie did say on the show that he would invite everyone on the show. He said he has to invite them if that's the case. Robin said he's already taking back that pledge. Howard said Ronnie has changed a lot. He said he has fancy friends in NASCAR now. He said he doesn't want Wolfie and Jason there. He said he might have Ron Capps there instead of Wolfie. Ronnie said he has nothing to say about that. Howard was making up the invite list for Ronnie.
Blitt asked if he's a plus 1 can he bring Jason if he's not invited. Ronnie said he's not there yet. Howard asked if Blitt can invite Apples. Ronnie wasn't talking.
Howard asked Jason what his package is. Jason said they have a drops origin package. He said this is about Fred. He said Fred does a whole show under the show. He said he wanted to play some drops and their origins on the show. Howard said people usually compliment him and not Fred.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks about Robin's fasting. Fred said whatever works for her. He said she should do it if it works for her. He said he tried a 3 day fast himself and it was no easy. He said he lasted 3 days. He said that's as far as he can go. He said the first 2 days were good but the third day he was done.
Howard asked Fred what he got out of his ass after 3 days. Fred said there was nothing like what Robin had. He said he did feel pretty good though. Howard asked if he's done with fasting. Fred said he won't be doing it again.
Howard said he's been working with Fred a long time. He said he likes to chew on his pen caps so he figured he'd shit a couple out if he fasted. Wolfie said he figured you'd gorge on food after a fast. Robin said you're not supposed to do that.
Howard said Jason was saying that Fred his is hero. Jason said they have some of the drops they play on the show a lot and they'll see if Howard knows where they came from. Howard played a ''Thank you, thank you, thank you...'' clip which came from this guy at a ball torture convention. Wolfie was the guy who interviewed that guy. Wolfie said the guy was getting his nuts hit with a riding crop. Howard played the original clip where Wolfie was doing the interview and the guy did his thank you thing as the woman was smacking his nuts. Howard said they should mention that two of those guys were senators in that basement. Wolfie said he didn't actually see anyone he recognized down there. Robin asked how he found out about this thing. Wolfie said it was his job to find these things. Robin said she worries about him. Howard asked what these guys do for a living. Wolfie said they say they're CEOs and things like that but he really doesn't know for sure. Howard played more of the guy getting his balls smacked. Howard said he loves the sound of that guy. Wolfie said that guy's balls were so swollen. He said they can't possibly feel good.
Wolfie was telling the guys about the other things that were going on there and how disturbing it was. He said these guys are rock hard as they're getting beat up. Howard said that sound from the riding crop was pretty loud. Wolfie said imagine what that thing is doing to your nuts. He said it's made to hit a horse with.
Howard asked Jason what's next. Jason said he has a drop that has been played on the show for years. He played a clip from South Park where a woman is saying ''What, what what?'' Howard said he has no idea. Robin didn't either. JD said he thought it was Robin. Howard said it was from Monty Python or something. Mike Fox said it's from South Park. Jason said that's correct. He explained where the drop came from and had the original South Park clip. Howard asked how people watch that. He said he has no idea what they're saying. Howard went into an impression of the show and changed his voice. Howard said that's pretty funny. He said that's one of his favorites actually.
Howard asked Jason to go ahead. Jason said this clip has been used for the past 10 years. He played a clip of Alex Jones crying. Howard said he knows this one. He said Gary looks puzzled. Gary said he doesn't know this one. Ronnie didn't know it. Robin didn't either. Howard said that's Alex Jones. Jason said he is correct. He said it's from 2011 when he was getting upset about the children growing up in a globalist society. He had the original clip to play. Howard laughed as he heard the clip.
Howard asked what the hell he's talking about in that clip. Robin said it's crocodile tears. She said she doesn't believe it at all. Nowicki did his Alex Jones impression and did the crying thing. Then he had Alex break into a commercial read. Howard spent a little time talking to fake Alex about his bat shit crazy conspiracy theories.
Howard asked Jason what he has next. Jason said Wendy the Slow Adult has been on the show for 20 years now and these are her drops. He played one of her saying Jimble Kimble. Howard said they know that she was talking about Jimmy Kimmel there. Jason said it's really more about her reading an intro for them. He played a clip of Wendy repeating after Richard as he read it to her.
Howard had a clip of Wendy talking about how she feels like blowing her mind up. Robin said there was a black out and she lost it talking to the power company. Howard played some of the original clip of Wendy yelling and screaming about losing her power. Howard said that was in 2004 during a tropical storm.
Jason said they have one of Wendy leaving them a voicemail and saying this. They had her doing her Freddy Kruger impression. Everyone knew what that one was. Howard played the original clip of Wendy doing that impression for Richard Christy.
Howard said whenever he hears that he thinks about her mother and what a saint she is. He said she has to hear that 24/7. Robin said she's amazed that she understand that movie as much as she does.
Jason said they put together a new song with clips of her drops and her gagging and coughing. Howard played that and said it gives him a headache.
Howard said good job boys and girls. The guys all thanked him. Howard said JD and Jason have very nice packages. He said he's sorry that Wolfie isn't going to Ronnie's wedding. Robin asked if that makes him feel bad. Wolfie said it doesn't make him feel comfortable.
Howard said next Tuesday Quentin Tarantino will be there. He said Neil Young will be on Wednesday. He wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:20am