Howard returned from his long summer vacation this morning. He started the show talking about questions Mariann had for him in the opening announcement. He said that Jason is down to 120 pounds and left the show. He was joking. He said they're back live this morning and it's weird to be back. He said he set a bunch of goals for himself and this is the first time as an adult that he had an entire summer off. He said his expectations weren't too high. He said he had some goals. He said Jason asked if he managed to figure out how to get his phone alarm to cascade. He said he didn't get to that. He said not all of his goals were met. He said he didn't really do anything.
Howard said people ruined his summer for him. He said people were writing about how he took the whole summer off. He said he's worked for 40 years and he can't even take time off. He said he's an old man now. He said he can barely function at this point. He said his eyes are fucked up and he has health issues. He asked what they're talking about.
Howard said over the summer that Olympic star Simone Biles said she had the twisties and she wasn't able to compete. He said he just took a couple of weeks off. He said everyone was on her side. He said he can't even take time off. Howard said all of his fans were blasting him. He said they suck.
Howard said he was looking at these podcasts that everyone talks about. He said they do so much more time on radio than these podcasts do. He said they just do 3 days a week. He said they take off the summer and everyone complains. He said kids take off the whole summer and no one complains.
Howard said he read a story about a DJ named Matthew Blades who is going to a treatment center to get help. He said his eyes perked up when he saw that. He said he had anxiety or something. He said he's under care himself for the past 20 years. He said he had to take 2 months off for his mental health. He asked if everyone is okay with his time off now. Robin mentioned that a tennis player is taking time off and she's not sure if she'll ever return to tennis. Howard said he can't even take a few weeks off.
Howard said he has had panic attacks his whole life. He said he was mentally ill before it was cool to be mentally ill. He said people were suggesting that Britney Spears should be in charge of his life. He said he was saying that he'll step down. He's wondering if that will turn her into an Afghanistan kind of situation. He said he may have to step back in.
Howard said this DJ guy announced he was ill and had to have time to recover. Howard said he should have done that about his vacation. He said he just read that. He said he took the summer off and had to avoid social media. Robin said she told him to stop reading social media. Howard said it's hard to escape it. He said it's hard to turn off the outside world. He said Matthew Blades is back at work now. He said he should have said he had the Shingles or something.
Howard said he had goals for the summer. He wanted to clean his closet out. He said he has clothes that don't fit. He said he has a belly now. He said he doesn't work out so he has titties and a belly. He said he found a picture from 2002 when he was still running. He said he had no fat on his stomach. He said he looked really good. He said he was kind of hot if he dares say. He said he looked good but still had a penis the size of a thimble. He said he was kind of sexy. He said then he got depressed. He said he weighs about the same but this is depressing.
Howard said Beth looks great still. He said he took a shot of her ass and it's something. He said he took that picture and said he wanted to bang her. He said she said no he's not. He said she has to be prepared. Robin said he's not a romantic. Howard asked if every girl doesn't want to hear that he's going to bang her. He said she covers up with a towel. He said she should have her ass displayed in Macy's every summer. He said he doesn't know but his body is falling apart.
Howard said he wants to do yoga but he can't do it during COVID. He said he tries to watch stuff on TV but he can't see it with his bad vision.
Howard said he hasn't eaten anything fun since 2007. He said he doesn't drink coffee. Robin said it's a hard thing to look good at his age. Howard said he is getting older in a lot of ways. He said if he has sex on a Sunday he has to recharge and wait until a Wednesday to do it again. He said he can't do it every day. He said he doesn't want to do it and not be able to cum. He said he has to wait.
Howard said his jizz factory has slowed down. He said when he was a young kid he could blast off 3-5 times a day. He said even in his 30s and 40s and maybe even his 50s he was able to do it. He said he has to wait a day to build up at least. Howard said he has to be sure. He said he has no problem with the erection but you want to be able to get in and out of there without making your wife sore.
Howard said Beth thinks that he masturbates to porn so he tells her he doesn't do that. He said that he doesn't want her thinking that's what he's doing. He said he spares her from him getting on top of her and all of that so he does masturbate. He said he hasn't done it for like a week. He said he was watching a video where this guy was insulting this young woman and telling her that she was so stupid she may not know how to give a blow job. He said she said she could do that at least. He said he likes humiliation videos like that.
Howard said Beth got her period 18 times this summer. He said he suggested she go to a doctor. He said he told her to take the summer off.
Howard said this guy in the porno unzips his pants and the wife tells him to let the other woman blow him. He said then the woman who gives bad blow jobs does it to him and he's got a dick like 15 inches long. He said he has been in the hospital a few times and the nurse has to see his penis. He said it's pretty embarrassing. He said he had a catheter once and he had to have a female nurse pull it out. He said it was pretty embarrassing. He said she was shocked by how small it was.
Robin said she never had a discussion about a patient's penis. Howard said she's unusual. He said he heard this woman talking about how small his penis was. He said she thought it was an 11th toe. He said they see everything. He said if they're shocked then you know you're in bad shape. Howard said they think he's transistioning. He said that should have been his excuse for taking the summer off.
Howard said he had goals this summer and one of them was to clean out his closet. He said he had to get the clothes that don't fit out of there. He said he can't keep his weight off. He said he walks 4 miles a day and he was told that it's a waste of time. He said he gets on his Peloton and he goes on for like 20 minutes. He said that's all he can take. He said he does a stretch class for a little while too. He said he likes watching Hannah Corbin doing that. He said it's like soft core porn. He said he does 20 minutes on the bike and gets a sweat going. He said the nutritionist tells him he has to do more.
Howard said he doesn't come out of the weight room looking like Fabio. He said he looks like a mess. He said there's no soreness or pump when he comes out of that room. He said he does the same thing every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He said he's too lazy to do anything else. He said he used to have his buddy Pat to help but he doesn't see him. He said he wants to do something via Zoom but he can't imagine that working.
Robin said her doctor asked if she has a physical trainer. She said he has a name for her. He said they want you to get on Zoom.
Howard said he's really sick of this COVID thing. He said he's been holding it in all summer. He said he knows that people hate that he gets preachy. He said he'll get to that later.
Howard said he'll talk about his penis and his work out and all of that. He said then he'll get preachy.
Howard said he started out the summer cleaning out his closet. He said he was going to try things on and have Beth tell him if it fits. He said that was a bad idea because she'd see him wearing things that don't fit. He said he had to do it on his own. He said it never happened all summer. He said he didn't get to it.
Howard said he spent hours looking at Facebook and YouTube. He said he watched a lot of people playing chess. He said he found a site called CoffeeChess.com. He said they trash talk each other about what shit heads they are. He said he got fascinated with that.
Howard said he was asked if he wanted to come play with them but he said no because there's COVID. He said he has a neighbor who is into chess and he asked him to come over to play. He said he called Dr. Agus and he told him it was okay if they were all vaccinated and they played outside in a mask. He said he didn't know these people so he decided not to do it. He said he didn't go.
Howard said he wouldn't mind wearing a mask. He said he would do that. Robin said it's not that fun though. Howard said he looks better with a mask on. He said just look at him and see his eyes. He said you want to have sex with him just seeing his eyes. He said it's like a veil for him.
Howard said he had other goals and he had to write it down. Robin said one was to go look and take photographs. Howard said he likes to paint so he was going to do that. He said he doesn't know where he lives really. He said he can get home within a block of his house. He said he has to get people to take him out. He said there's some old barns and stuff around his area. He said there's very interesting things that he could paint but he's not sure how to get back home. He said he gets lost everywhere he goes. He said he'd have to park and he doesn't know how to do all of that. He said that he just gets to his back yard. He said he takes pictures there over and over and it's a disaster. He said they know Allie Wentworth. He said she's the nicest person he's ever met. He said she took photographs of various locations near him and she wanted to get him to come out with her and take pictures. He said she knows all of the locations. He said he didn't think he could be in a car with her. He said she said she would get tested. He didn't want to do that. He said Allie took all of these great pictures of him and he was going to go out with her but he doesn't want to end up on a ventilator. He said he's not going to end up like that. He said he's not sure who these people are who won't get the vaccine. He said he doesn't want to get all preachy but he's going to.
Howard said we're like Hitler youth down there turning in people for wanting to get an abortion. He said they have a $10,000 bounty for turning people in. He said these are the same nut jobs who won't get the vaccine.
Howard said Israel and Brazil were doing well with the vaccination thing. He said they were really high with their vaccination rates. He said we can't get anywhere near those numbers here.
Howard said there was this guy he saw who said he did research and he won't get the vaccine. He said he asked if he did more research than the scientists who created this vaccine. He said he went to school with this guy and he wasn't able to pass algebra. Robin said she saw one woman who said she had her own science and she won't get it.
Howard said there are these guys who refuse to get it and go on the air talking about it and tell people no to get it and then they get COVID and they end up getting COVID and end up dying.
Howard had some audio of a DJ talking about not getting the vaccine and he's dead now. Howard said there were some other guys too but he doesn't have tape of it. Howard said when he went to school you had to get measles, mumps and polio vaccines. Robin said you still have to. Howard said he wants his freedom so he wants everyone to get it.
Howard said they have friends who have parties and stuff and he's not sure what they're doing. He said people are going to weddings too. He said some people are hiding. Robin said they say that on the far left you have people who are overly cautious but on the far right you have people who aren't cautious at all. She said it's very interesting.
Howard said Chris Wilding has some more updates on the other DJs who got COVID and died. Howard asked how his summer was. Chris said it was good but weird. He said he's blowing one guy from Columbia. He said they get tested. He said they make a romantic thing. He said he has a COVID testing station and a cocktail station. He said they do the test and if he's negative then they fuck right then and there. He said that they do the home test. Chris said he's fully vaccinated and he had a booster too so he felt good about it. Howard asked how he got the booster. Chris said his friend is around a lot of COVID patients so he got the booster.
Howard asked if Chris gets hard while they wait for the test. Chris said they were sitting outside and he'll stick his foot on his penis. He said he'll get him worked up that way while they wait for the test.
Chris said this guy talks about his penis and calls it his ''cosita'' and tells him how big it was and things like that. He said he tells him it makes him crazy. Howard said he sounds like Ricky Ricardo. Chris said even later in the day he calls it his cosita. He said it's all day that he calls it that.
Howard said he heard he's eating his asshole too. Chris asked how he heard that. Howard said a little bird told him that. Chris said he has never had his ass manipulated in that way. He said he's putting his penis in here. He said at one point the guy was speaking in Spanish and he has no idea what he's saying. He said he could have been calling him a whore. He said he's learning Spanish the hard way.
Chris showed Howard a picture of this guy. He said he's gorgeous. Howard asked if he's in love. Chris said he is. Howard said the guy looks like a model.
Howard said he heard he fucks so hard that they put a hole in the wall. Chris said they were in an AirBNB and the bed ended up in the wall. He said that's how hard they were banging. Howard said he didn't think he was a bottom. Chris said he didn't think he was either. He said this guy just says he needs to be in his ass. Chris said that he has to give his cosita a break.
Robin asked if they can have a conversation. Chris said they do. He said he can speak English very well. He said that he's trying to learn Spanish for him though.
Howard said he heard he had an accident. Chris said that he was good all weekend but then they went out for a big meal. He said that he told him to enter at his own risk. He said that he could feel that he was hitting more than his prostate when he went in. He said even he ran out of the bedroom when he pulled out. He said that they cleaned up and the guy jerked off while he fingered himself. He said that turned him on. He said that he'll call the guy and he'll tell him how much he turns him on. He said that he'll tell him that he's hard. He said he tells him that he's sexy and makes him crazy. Howard said that's love.
Chris said that they are going through some things. He said the guy will follow people on Instagram and things. He said he gets jealous. He said last night he went out with one of the guys from the show. He said he got a message from the guy asking who he was with and he was upset. He said that it was hours of this last night. Howard said he should put a ring on it then. Chris said the guy unfollowed hundreds of people last night. He said that they were writing back and forth and he wrote that Cosita is all his. Howard said he should lock him up with one of those things that locks around your penis.
Fun George Takei knocked on the door and came on to talk about this Cosita stuff with Chris. Howard said he wont even show him the picture of this guy. He said it'll turn him on. Fun George said that he wants to see it. He kept ringing his bell for Brad to come to him. Howard said Columbia is known for Coffee and guys with big Cositas.
Howard said that Chris had the Columbian bring over a bunch of Speedos so he could get a fashion show. Howard asked if George ever gets that. George said that he hasn't had that in a long time. He said that brad is his Hombre Gordo which means that's his fat man.
Howard asked how the fashion show was. Chris said it was good. He said they were staying in a place that had a pool so they were swimming and he was trying on different Speedos. Chris said if you can pull one off then have him bring 10. He said that he can't pull that off. He said he was wearing trunks himself.
Robin wondered what that other people were doing while they were doing their fashion show. Howard said Chris is out there having fun. He said he can't go out there like that. He asked if they were jerking each other off in the hot tub. Chris said they were. Howard asked if they take off their trunks in the hot tub. Chris said he would unzip his and he'd take off the Columbian's Speedo. He said that it's not that great in the water but they figured it out.
Howard said the guys just looked up Cosita and it translates to ''little thing.'' Chris said he did the same thing. He said it has different meanings. He said that it can mean cute guy too. Howard said maybe he's calling his dick little. Chris said that he told him he has a huge cock so that cant be what it is.
Fun George said that his penis looks like a little cosita when he gets out of the tub. Howard said it was good to see George. Fun George said it was a good summer. He said he got a lot of vitamin D... I C K this summer.
Robin said Chris had updates on the radio guys who died. Chris said that this guy Phil Valentine is dead from COVID. He said he didn't want to get the vaccine and thought he had every little chance of getting COVID. He said now he's dead from COVID. Howard said what a shame.
Howard said he saw this guy, maybe Phil, who was the first one to die from it after saying he wasn't going to get the vaccine. He said the brother came on and said they tried to get him vaccinated. He said now he wishes he got it. He said we have idiots in this country. He said we have such morons here. He said that he's not sure what will happen to this country.
Howard said he has a theory that when Trump got into office he said every moronic thing and now everyone who followed him is saying moronic stuff. He said they get followers for saying this moronic stuff. He said there are senators saying that January 6th was a bunch of tourists. He said then you say that there was mayhem going on and they don't see it that way. He said these are senators who you hold accountable.
Howard said now it's cool to be a moron. He said that the rest of us call them idiots and you get nowhere with them. He said that the Supreme Court is all whacked out now because the minority rules. He said he's not sure how much longer people are going to put up with it. He said it's getting ugly out there.
Robin said they have clashes with protesters out there and that could lead to a civil war. She said that people aren't seeing that as a big deal.
Howard said Biden won by over 8 million votes and the crazy people out there think he didn't win. He said he's not sure what's going to happen. He said that they're passing voting laws to make things worse.
Chris said there was another radio guy in West Palm Beach who died from COVID. He said that it was Dick Farrell. He said that he was a denier too and he's dead from COVID now.
Howard said what really sucks is that these unvaccinated people are clogging up the hospitals and he's thinking that if you didn't get vaccinated that you shouldn't get in there. He said you should be against everything if you're against the vaccine. Robin agreed. Chris said that then they believe that this Ivermectin will work to help. He said it doest make sense. Howard said it has nothing to do with COVID. Chris said before that it was that Hydroxychloroquine. He said none of it makes sense.
Howard said he's done with his preaching now. He said he'd keep it short. He said goodbye to Fun George and wrapped up with him.
Howard said he likes it when Beth wears her's too. He said Robin looks like a sexy librarian.
Howard said he has to thank a bunch of people. He said they had the interviews on Howard 100 and everything else on 101. He said that's how it works. He said he has to thank Green Day, Fall Out Boy and Weezer. He said they had Cheap Trick and Metallica on over the summer too. He said he has a montage of stuff to play. He played some audio of some of the concerts they had playing this summer.
Howard said the person he must thank is Brandi Carlile. He said she put together a concert and he must have listened to it 50 times this summer. He said he even called her. He said he wasn't able to talk to her but he left her a message. He said she left him one too. He said she wants to talk but she's very busy out on the road. Robin said she is back out on the road. Howard said that he's sure you can hear this concert On Demand. He played some audio from the concert.
Howard said he gets chills on every note. Robin said she could cry her eyes out on that song. Howard said he was so moved by it. He said he had to call her and thank her. He said he did thank her for that. Fred played the creepy ''thank you'' guy audio drop.
Howard said Brandi got to be friends with Joni Mitchell and Elton John so she covered some of their stuff. He played a little bit of her covering an Elton John song. He said it was just amazing. He said it was the tightest 45 minutes he's ever heard. He said that she's out touring. He said he's not sure how people are doing that. Robin said it's all crazy out there. She said people are touring and there are crowds gathering.
Howard asked if they're really checking COVID vaccination cards. Robin said they might be in some countries.
Howard said that Dana Carvey did a takeover with the channel. He said he was really good. He said he tried calling him but wasn't able to get through to him. He said he's not sure why no one is available. He played a clip of Dana Carvey doing his Casey Kasem impression during his channel takeover. Howard said what a mind on that guy.
Howard said there were a bunch of people who took over the channel and he thanked all of them too. He said that was awesome.
Howard said they had some specials they ran. He said they did one with Ralph and Ronnie and Chris Wilding talking about sex. He said it's funny to hear them talking about sex. He said that was hosted by Jon Hein. He said Chris was the gay point of view and Ronnie was the straight point of view. He said Ralph was the ''who knows'' point of view. He said he thinks Ralph is straight but he seems to talk like he's gay. Robin said he may be what they call fluid.
Howard had some clips from the summer special. In one clip Ralph was talking about gay sex with Chris and how he thinks the only person in the room who is totally straight is Jon Hein.
Howard played a clip where Ralph was talking about how big penis and small balls are not a ''deal breaker'' for him.
Howard said Ronnie was his usual charming self. He said he was talking about the grossest thing that happened to him during sex. Ronnie said he got a bloody nose while he was eating out a girl and he got the blood all over her dress.
Jason got on and said that 29 days out of the month of August were over 100. He said yesterday it was 108 and today it's supposed to hit 110. Howard said he thinks Ronnie will never tell him that it's not awesome out there. He said it can't be great being that hot. He said he'll never admit it.
Howard said that's the kind of weather that kills older people. Jason said his pool isn't ready yet either so he's not cooling down in the pool. Howard said he's not even in his house yet because it's not done.
Howard said Jason is really skinny. Robin said he looks like a Mario Brother. Jason said he's down 72 pounds since January. Howard said congratulations. Jason said he did go shopping and went to a regular store and got regular clothes. He said he feels really good. Robin asked how he figured out his size. Jason said he went to the big and tall section and got into a 2X there. He said they're much bigger at the fat guy store. He said he's a regular human 2X. He said this morning he weighed 229.2 pounds. He said he was 301.6 when he started. He said he wants to lose another 20 pounds or so. Howard said he should.
Jason said that his wife says that she sees him bending over to tie his shoes that she hasn't seen him do in a long time. He said he's still doing Nutri-System and he has learned what it takes. He said he went off the diet and made himself some of his own meals. He said he's doing grilling of vegetables now. He said he has no meat in the book. He said that he has been doing that all summer. He said he loves grilling but he sends the meat off with his friends that come over.
Howard said congratulations on that. He said that he thought he was going to get fat again. He said it's great that he's been able to keep it off.
Howard asked if he's exercising at all. Jason said he is going on hikes and stuff. He said it's really nice when he goes on the walks. He said he does gardening and weeding and stuff too. He said it's nice living out in Jersey now.
Howard said he wanted to thank Medicated Pete for his Big Dick Energy show. He said he turned out to be pretty good at it. He said he did some prep and did really well.
Howard asked Jon Hein what was up with Ralph on the show. Jon said he's still recovering from that show. He said that Ralph wouldn't admit what his sexual preferences are but he did have a lot of familiarity with things that would be considered gay. He said that he's not sure but Ralph did say that he was the only straight one in the room. He said that made him think that he might be leaning that way. He said Ronnie always has stories about sex that he has to tell. Howard said the horror of having Ronnie as a limo driver was that he was a road rage kind of driver. He said it was an honor to be able to get a limo service but he was shaking him up back there. He said it wasn't what he imagined it would be.
Howard said he would talk to Ronnie every day and he had a lot of stories. He said the stories he had were insane. He said he had story after story about sex that he'd tell him in the car. He said it was endless.
Howard said he's not sure where he was having all of this sex but he got pussy as he says. Robin said it was crazy how early it started too. Howard said he thinks he'd hetero but he does stick a lot of things in his ass. Robin asked how far that would go if he were in prison. Howard said he'd succumb to a guy jerking him off at the very least.
Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. Ronnie said not true at all. Howard said he has a new look. He said he has a handlebar moustache with no beard now. Ronnie said he shaved that off when he was there. Howard said something is different. Ronnie said it's just the new setup there. He said he looks like he's in the 1890s.
Howard asked Ronnie what he's doing out there in Vegas. Ronnie said he goes out and hangs out outside. He said that it cools down to the 80s at night out there. He said he likes the dry air. He said it's good for the allergies. Howard said come on. He said his nose was bleeding out there when he went out there with him one time. Ronnie said there's no reason for him to lie. He said things are fine.
Howard said he talked to Ronnie a couple of times out in Vegas. He said he wanted to come see him. He said he didn't want to do that. He said he wanted to have some kind of closure with him. He said he wanted some finality with him. He said he didn't want him to come over. He said he didn't know what they were going to do. He said he wanted to sit in his car and yell out the window or something. He said he felt bad and said they could sit in his back yard and talk or something. He said he thought that might be okay. He said he's not sure why he needed closure. He said he's still with the show so they can talk on the phone and on Zoom. He said Ronnie got all sentimental with him.
Howard said he thought about it and talked it over with Beth and decided not to get together with him. He said he'd rather not get it from him. Ronnie said that he saw him with Jimmy. Howard said they all got tested before staying with each other. He said Jimmy came over and got tested and then stayed there. He said that he won't even go play chess with people. Ronnie said Howard ditched him. Howard said he told him he'd see him after the pandemic.
Howard said he would have liked to have seen Ronnie but he's a little loose out there. He said that he went to a wedding. Ronnie said he wore a mask in the beginning. Howard said there you go.
Howard said when Jimmy was there they called Ronnie. Ronnie said that was very nice. Howard said he went for a walk with Jimmy and they talked about Ronnie. He said that's when he decided to call him. He said they got him on the phone and listened to him rave about how great Vegas is. He said Jimmy grew up there and told him that the heat goes away. He said that he just ruined busting his balls. He said he told him how great Vegas is.
Howard said he called Ronnie and he was whispering to him. He was in the airport. He said they were in the Delta club and the plane got fucked up and lost an engine. He said the airlines are all fucked up so they had to wait 18 hours for another flight. Ronnie said they were supposed to land last Saturday at 3pm. He said they didn't get into New York until Sunday at 7:30.
Howard said Ronnie is out there taking all kinds of risks with COVID. Ronnie said he wore a mask the whole time. He said you have to wear a mask everywhere out there. Howard said he had a dinner with like 10 friends. Ronnie said he did. Howard said he's like COVID central over there. Ronnie said they wore masks until it was time to eat. Howard said then you're spreading germs. Ronnie said they ate outside.
Ronnie said it was hot there in New York the whole summer too. Howard said it wasn't like that whole summer.
Howard said he didn't sound like he was enjoying the tour of his new house. He said he went in to see it and he was upset that it was all backwards. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. Howard said he was talking about how it was all backwards. Howard played some audio of Ronnie and Stephanie touring the house and talking about how things were all turned around. Ronnie was asking about why it's all reversed. Stephanie said it depends on the lot you got.
Howard said that it's off to a great start. He said he must have looked at the plans. Ronnie said it's the same plans but it's just reversed. Howard said he must have known. Ronnie said it all depended on the lot you got. He said it's the same set up. Howard asked if it's all the same houses. Ronnie said they're different houses.
Howard said he grew up in a neighborhood like that where the house were all the same but some houses had finished basements. He said that the kids would brag if they were finished. Howard asked if Ronnie has that. Ronnie said they don't have basements out there. Howard asked how he didn't know that it was backwards. Ronnie said it was just reversed.
Howard played more audio of Ronnie and Stephanie talking about the reversed set up. They were talking about things that were missing like lights and things.
Howard asked when they're putting the lights in. Ronnie said they're in now. Howard said bullshit. Ronnie said it's not bullshit. Howard said it would be great if they did a prank show like that where they have people getting the wrong house. He said they could have a toilet on the ceiling and things like that.
Howard kept bringing up the reversed set up of the house. Ronnie said that they knew. He said that they went over the plans. He said he said the same thing when he saw the plans. He let out a sigh when Howard kept goofing on him.
Ronnie said he's sure that Howard's house was perfect when they built it. Howard said their driveway ran through the living room.
Howard said he talks to Ronnie and he tells him that everything is perfect. then he hears this tape and nothing is right.
Howard asked if he's having fun out there. Ronnie said there are some hot chicks around. Howard said he's mellow Ronnie. He asked if he has gone to any strip clubs yet. Ronnie said not yet. He said he's been to dinner parties.
Howard said that Ronnie and Stephanie had sex 13 times out of the 22 days that they've been out there. He said that the heat must be turning him on.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said it sounds like Ronnie doesn't sound the same as he did before. He said he sounds sad. He said he should sound up living out there. Ronnie said everyone is sticking knives him in his back. He said that's why he sounds that way. King asked if he has a 3 car garage. Ronnie said he does. Howard said he didn't know that.
King said everyone has a 3 car garage out there. Ronnie said not everyone has the same house. He said there are 4 models there. King asked if he's in the one percent in that neighborhood. Ronnie said he is.
King said that it doesn't happen often but you feel like a loser not having anywhere to go. He said that will happen to him. Howard said he's not sure about that. He asked what he does all day. Ronnie said Stephanie is working but not full time. He said she's just doing fill in shifts.
Howard said he has to hang up on King. He said he interrupts too much. Ronnie said Stephanie is just filling in and she's picking up shifts. He said they have a lot to do out there so she'd rather do this until they're settled. Howard asked if there are any wedding plans. Ronnie said not yet. He said that will happen after all of this is settled.
Ronnie said he's going to the strip tonight for dinner. Howard said he's acting like he's safe from COVID. Ronnie said they're not running around all the time. He said Howard never leaves his house. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he's glad that Ronnie is still on the show. Ronnie said he's still there. He said it's fun getting up at 3:15 in the morning. He said he has the whole day ahead of him after the show.
Howard said he has more tape of Ronnie leaving his house in New York. He played that and Ronnie was giving a tour of the house before he left. He was talking about the times they had sex in the bathroom and things like that.
In another clip Ronnie was talking about the kitchen and going off on the guy he was doing the tour for. The guy was asking what room it was and Ronnie got upset that he had to describe it for the people who were just hearing it. Ronnie talked about coming up behind Stephanie and fucking her from behind at the sink.
Howard said they ended the tour in the living room of the house. He said every room had something sexual going on. Ronnie talked about how they may have done some blow jobs in the chair in that room. He described how she blew him in the chair. Then Ronnie said goodbye to the house and said it's time to move on to better things like melting into the sidewalk out in Vegas.
Howard said they had Ronnie say goodbye to things in the house and they turned that into a song. Howard played the song where they had Ronnie saying goodbye to stuff in the house. He was upset with the tablecloth on the table so the song was mostly about that.
Howard took a call from a guy, Rich, who claims to be a house builder and Ronnie should have two opportunities to change things before moving in. Ronnie said he hasn't moved in yet. He said they're doing the walk through today. The caller said he should have known that the house was backwards. Ronnie said he knew it was going to be that way. He said it was just surprising when he walked into it. Rich told Howard about some of the things that he had to deal with when he was working for a house builder. He said the brochures show things that don't end up in the house and he had to tell the buyers that. Howard let Rich go a short time later.
Robin asked when the house is going to be done. Ronnie said they're doing the walk through today and they're closing on Friday. He said it should be done.
Howard took a call from a the (fake) guy who built Ronnie's house and he sounded like a Speech Impediment Man impersonator talking about all of the reversed stuff. Howard wrapped up with Ronnie and did a live commercial read.
Howard came back and said he loves The Rolling Stones and he will talk about Charlie Watts. He said he loves this song.
Howard said he knows people say that Mick Jagger isn't a good looking guy but he really is. He said he loves to show off his belly too. He said he would take diet advice from him. He said he can lift his arms up and show off his belly to the crowd. Howard said he'd like to go on a Mick Jagger diet. Robin said lot of that might be natural. She said she doesn't think that's just him working out. Howard said the Stern genetics hold on to belly flab. He said people say he has good genetics but look at his parents. He said he'd rather have Brad Pitt or George Clooney genetics.
Howard said his mother is a trip. He said he's been very involved with her over the summer. Robin asked what they're doing. Howard said where they live isn't an old age home but it's a nice complex with elderly people. He said he'll call her and tell her to stay indoors. He said she'll ask him what he's telling her. He did his impression of her talking to him about the bad news he always calls with.
Howard said his sister must be telling her to just live her life and he calls and then gives her the bad news. He said that she'll complain that she has to eat in the apartment instead of going out to eat. He said she wonders what's going on out there. He said people are just trying to keep her alive.
Robin said she doesn't have a lot of friends to visit. Howard said she claims she speaks to people on the phone. He did his impression of her talking about someone she talks to who has COVID. He said she said that she feels fine. Howard said she was probably vaccinated.
Howard said that his parents have to get their booster vaccines. He said they were early when they got their first one. Robin said you're supposed to wait like 8 months for the booster. Howard said in Israel they say you have to get the booster. He said they don't consider you vaccinated until you do. Robin said there are so many differing stories and that's why people are confused.
Howard said he has his parents locked up and not going out. He said he won't let them go out. He said the only thing they do is eat at the dining room there and now they have to lock that down. He said they have to eat in their room now.
Howard said he compares everything to Afghanistan. He said that he tells his mother that at least she's not living there. Howard said the Taliban looks like they're about to keel over from not eating. He said they look like they're starving. Robin said it's a very strange country.
Howard said he may have to go on the Taliban diet. He said they look ripped. He said thank god we're out of there. He said things didn't go that smoothly but they never would have. He said now maybe we can help people in Louisiana. He said maybe we can put houses on stilts or something there or build the house backwards like Ronnie's house.
Howard said he's not sure how the Taliban doesn't have COVID. He said maybe we should just sneeze on them.
Howard said Pete has issues with making small talk. He played a clip of Pete introducing Lisa Ann and talking about how much he loves boobs... and cock.
Howard said he watched a lot of Bachelor while they were off. He said Bachelor in Paradise is the best show. He said he has to pause it and talk about it. He said Beth hates watching it with him because of that. He said the show is the best thing on TV.
Howard said David Spade hosted for 2 nights. Robin said she felt really uncomfortable watching him on the show. She said that she felt like it might be destroying his career. Howard said he thought he was great on the show.
Howard said he thinks Beth doesn't like watching the show with him because of the pausing. He said that it's already 2 hours long so it makes it even longer. He said it turns out one of the guys on the show was working with the girl on the show to get more social media views. He said he stopped the show and got pissed about what was going on. He said that they're so stupid that they admit it on their microphones on TV. He said they told on themselves. He said people just want followers.
Howard said he has to stop the show cold and inform Beth of what just happened. He said she doesn't even answer him anymore. He said his vision is so bad now that he has to sit in front of her. He said she sits behind him somewhere and he's in the front row. He said she might have left for all he knows. He said he can hear her getting annoyed with him. He said he feels he has to lecture her on what she's seeing. He said he likes to do running commentary.
Howard said he's always in control of the clicker. He said that she'll ask him to just turn it back on. He said he has to make a point though.
Howard said while he was off he wasn't working so he was managing Beth's Instagram account for her. He said he was telling her that she has to improve it. He said he came up with a ''Question of the Day'' thing to do. He said Beth just ants to give cats homes. He said he can't help himself. He said he thinks she was excited about him going back to work.
Howard said they had some guest hosts for Bachelor in Paradise. He said Lance Bass was good. Robin said she didn't like him on the date.
Howard said he wasted a lot of time this summer. He said he got to none of his ''to do'' list items. He said he did a bunch of video online. He said he was watching the chess stuff. He said he's watching Titans. Robin said she has to catch up with that. Howard said there's a girl who looks like Gwen Stefani on the show. He said she dresses up like a bird. He said he's not sure what her power is. Howard said he's glad her super power is being hot. He said he has no idea what her name is or anything and he doesn't want to know.
Howard said there's some new guy on the show who is Super Boy but not really. He said he's half human because Lex Luthor created him. He said he hates that guy. He said he has a regular name like Colin. He said he never read about him in the comics.
Howard said he obsessed about how much his father disliked him. He said he's convinced that he despised him. He said he loves his father anyway. He said he needs a dad. He said he was thinking about how he got beaten up as a kid. He said his neighbor was a big fatso and he beat him up. He said the kid's sister beat his sister up too. He said they weren't able to talk to each other. He said this big fat kid would jump on him and accuse him of killing Jesus. He said that he didn't know what he was talking about. He said this kid sat on his chest and his parents somehow woke up to this. He said it came down to them sending him to Karate classes.
Howard said that he got to the Jiu Jitsu class and kids were doing all kinds of crazy stuff. He said his parents came with him and he took one look at it and figured he cant do any of that. He said it was just scary. He said the Korean guy took him on the mat and showed him how easy it was to flip someone. He said the guy was faking it. He said that was their sales pitch. He said he told his parents there was no way he was doing it. He said his mother just sat and laughed. He said that they took him to that class and she laughs about him running out of there. He did impression of his parents laughing about him running out of the class.
Howard said he remembers it becoming folklore that he ran out of the class. He said that if he had a male role model that could have taught him stuff like that then he would have been fine. He said his dad didn't have that gene. He said he wasn't a mentor. He said he's not sure why he even had him. Robin said he couldn't help it. Howard said he doesn't think his dad even got laid other than with his mother. He said he was 25 already. He said he should have had a few broads by then.
Howard said he doesn't know. He said he has this fantasy that if someone put their arm around him and said it was okay to be scared. He said that he just remembers his parents making fun of him running out of that class.
Howard said his mother still talks about him going to therapy and thinking he just talks about her. He said he tells her that he doesn't but that's what he's doing. He said that she read a book by someone named Haim Ginott so she knew everything.
Howard said that his father seemed to think that he should have known how to be an adult at the age of 7. He said that his father had it pretty bad growing up so he must have thought that he should figure things out himself too.
Howard said he's not sure how he got into that but he was talking about Pete and Big Dick Energy. He said he was talking about his wasted summer.
Howard got back to the Pete stuff and went over the Big Dick Energy show and how he had his mom on with him. He played a clip of Pete talking to his mom about his big dick. She said she didn't notice anything when he was young. She said she wasn't watching him taking showers or anything. Pete asked her about taking care of his big penis when she changed his diapers. She said it was a normal baby part when she was doing that.
Howard said his mother said that his penis was unusually small when he asked her about it. Howard said he changed all of his daughter's diapers and he doesn't think about their vaginas. He said that his mother shouldn't have remembered his penis. Robin asked how she would have known. Howard said maybe Haim Ginott had pictures in his book.
Howard said Pete's mom got fed up and hung up on Pete. He said she bailed out. He played a clip of her leaving after Pete asked about his big penis again. She said it was embarrassing talking about all of that. She got upset with Pete after he asked her one too many times about his big penis.
Howard said Pete is a good host. He said they had 83 penis questions for her. He said that she wasn't cooperating. He said he did a good job. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Beth's posts got better because he was producing. He said that he was telling her what she has to do. He said this guy, Mark, appreciated it. Marc said it was very well put together.
Howard said he did a shoot of Beth's ass and got it up on there too. He said he thought that would be a good sales pitch for the Helen Rose bags she was selling. He said someone wrote to her saying she didn't sign on to her account to see those kind of pictures. Howard said he told her that he's off of her account and going back to work.
Marc asked if Howard has seen the new Billie Eilish special on Disney+. Howard said not yet but he wants to see it. The caller said it's really good and so is the Paul McCartney special with Rick Rubin. Howard said he can't bare to watch that because he'll get jealous. He said that's what he wants to do with Paul and he will get jealous.
The caller said that Jay Leno is doing the ''You Bet Your Life'' thing. Howard said years ago a production company came to him asking if he wanted to do a version of that show. He said he thought it was a bad idea. He said that Groucho Marx was great doing it and he'd never, ever do the show. He said he wants a show where you don't have to do anything like Match Game or something. He said he wants a show like Tic Tac Dough. He said he wants a show like Deal or No Deal. He said how about Press Your Luck. He said he'd like a show like that.
Howard said Paul McCartney and Rick Rubin did that special and he got upset. He said that it was like Paul was cheating on him. He said he got jealous of Rick. He said Rick is the man though. Robin said it was all about the music though so he didn't do that great a job of interviewing him. Howard said she's saying that he did a shitty job then. Robin said yes, basically.
The caller also said that they were playing Howard's theme song on Ozzy's Bone Yard over the holiday. He said that he thought that was kind of cool. He said he did a Tik Tok where he bobbed his head to the tune of that song with a Howard Stern mask on. Howard said that doesn't sound good to him. He said he'll send it to them on Twitter if they want. Howard said send it to him because he wants to see it.
Robin said that Kevin Eubanks is even on that You Bet Your Life show. She said that he was doing so well with the cars in his garage and not doing a show. She said now he's back. Howard said he's getting fatter now too. He said he wears all denim too and who does that? Robin said she just saw that Jon Stewart is returning to do a show. Howard said he's there if he does a Bill Maher kind of show. He said he thought that he'd be closer to Jon than he is. He said Jimmy Kimmel tried to get them to be closer. He said Jimmy thinks they should be friends because of the things they have in common. He said he and Jon never went that extra step. He said Jimmy is friends with everyone.
Howard said Jimmy was with Kevin Costner and he told him that because he knows he's into Yellowstone. Robin said that's a great show. Howard said he's not going to be watching that Jay Leno ''You Bet Your Life'' show. He wondered if he'll be wearing all denim. Robin said she's not sure what he was wearing. Marc said he was wearing all denim in the preview he saw. Howard said he thinks they should make the whole set out of denim. Howard said the magic word should be denim and the entire audience should wear denim. He said denim cue cards too. He said he's such an arrogant asshole. He said you never try to do a show like that.
Howard said he turned down that show. He said he never talks about that but he did turn it down.
Howard said he has a clip of himself talking about how long he thinks this pandemic was going to last. Jimmy Kimmel asked him about it back in early 2020. Howard told Jimmy that he thinks that it'll last at least 18 months. Howard said that was from March 2020. He said Robin went more right and said that when his kids are in college it'll be over.
Howard said the new Jon Stewart show sounds like it'll be good. He said it's going to be on HBOMax. He said it looks like a once a week show. He said that's what Jon wanted all along anyway.
Marc the caller asked if he can give them his Instagram and Twitter so they can follow him. Howard said sure he can do that. He gave out his handle but Howard said he's not sure if he'll remember that. Marc said his handle is MarcLZMankind. Howard still wasn't getting it right. He eventually let Marc go.
Howard said he likes to see what people are up to on social media. He said he's bummed out that more people from his past aren't on Facebook. He said that he wishes that they'd get on and ask to be friends with him but he'd tell them no because they were dicks to him. Howard said he only had one guy do that to him. He said that this one guy who was a dick to him when he was in high school wanted to get together with him but he said no. He said that he should have invited him to hang out when he was single because that's what the guy was looking for.
Howard took a call from a guy, Brian, who said that he was wondering if he saw the Paris Hilton cooking show on Netflix. He said it's horrible. Howard said he hasn't watched that but you have to know how to cook if you have a cooking show. Robin said it sounds like she's still doing the fish out of water kind of show after all these years. Brian said that it's just stupid shit. He said she can barely get through cooking pasta. Robin said it sounds like he has spent time watching it. Howard said the thing with her is that you want to fuck her even though she's kind of dopey.
Howard said the show is called Cooking with Paris and it's on Netflix. He said what he'd do is have her doing brain surgery. He said that he'd watch.
Howard said he tried watching a show with this girl who was on Tik Tok. He said she's 16 years old and a cute kid. He said she's like an Olivia Jade kind of kid. He said she has over 100 million followers on her account. He said they gave her a TV show. He said that if she has that many followers she must be interesting. He said it's her and her sister and they're kind of hot in a teen age way. He said he's too old for that shit. He said he tried watching for 10 minutes and had to turn it off. The caller said her name is Charli D'Amelio. Howard said he tried watching it but it wasn't for him.
Brian said there's a show on Hulu about 9/11 that's really good. He said it's footage from people who were there. He said it's sad and every American should watch that. Howard said he can't watch that. He said he's still too upset about it still. He said it is something that you have to remember. He said that he thought that after they killed Osama bin Laden that we would have gotten out of there. He said that Biden finally got us out of there and it was messy but it was bound to be that way.
Howard said he feels bad or the women over there. He said they get raped and tortured and it's like having the Mafia take over. He said now this ISIS K is supposed to be taking over. Robin said they say that women won't have any rights there if that happens.
Howard said he has to get going. He said it's getting late. He said they have to give people your money's worth. Howard said tomorrow they have Steve Martin and Martin Short coming on. He said on Thursday they're doing a bonus show at 12 or 12:15 and they'll have Metallica and Miley Cyrus on and then Elton John will come on for a few minutes.
Howard said Martin Short and Steve Martin have the show ''Murders in the Building'' on Hulu. He said he loves those guys together. He said that should be cool. Howard asked Rick Rubin how he feels about that. Robin said Rick was asking Paul McCartney about drum sounds and things in that special. She said she wants to know more about Paul and not just the music.
Howard said he did a few things over vacation. He said maybe he'll wait until tomorrow to talk about it. Robin said they didn't get to who died while they were off. Howard said he'll do that first thing tomorrow. He said they didn't even take a break today. He said they just talked through the whole thing. Robin said she was wondering if he was going to shut up. Howard said he has to eat something.
Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how upset he is with the state of the world and how he was telling his therapist about it. He said he the therapist told him to stop whining about that and his parents. He said he wanted him to stop with the horse shit and get to the real stuff. Robin said he should be talking about Afghanistan instead.
Howard said he was going to get to obituaries this morning but he's not sure if that's the case. He said he has a lot to catch up on.
Howard said after the show yesterday some negativity got to him through Beth's Instagram. He said someone named BarbieCal wrote under a picture of Beth's ass that he should mind his business about the vaccine. He said he's not sure what that means. He said he can't mind his business. He said she said that it's poison and he should mind his own business. Howard said most of these people are anti-vax and they want to tell women what to do with their bodies but not to put vaccines in it. He said he's not sure what's more ridiculous denying the vaccine or taking anything they put in you when you're in the hospital.
Howard said his whole business isn't to mind his business. He said he'd have nothing to talk about. He said it's just so weird to deny the vaccine but then to take experimental horse medication to fight COVID.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said it's been so long since she spoke to him. Howard said it wasn't that long for him. Mariann said she's so glad that he's back. Howard said he was so fucked up after the show yesterday. He said it's like running a marathon. He said he was fucked up after the show. He said when he was younger it was much different. He said now he gets worn out. He said he was woozy after the show. He said his throat was pounding and his ears were pounding. He said he went for a walk with Beth and he was miserable the whole time. He said he's not sure if he can do the show. Robin said maybe it was a bad idea to take the summer off. Howard said he's back in the groove this morning.
Mariann said she has two things to talk about. She said she wants him to talk about Sirhan Sirhan. Howard said he's glad she brought that up. He said they have to have him legally come up for parole. He said this guy killed Robert Kennedy. He said that he was one of the most important political leaders. He said that this Sirhan Sirhan came up for parole and the family said they don't want him out. He said two of the kids were saying it's been a long time. He said the guy is an old man now and he served his time. Howard said fuck him. He said this is the problem with the legal system. He said they were saying that he should be let out of prison. He said the guy shot Kennedy on TV. He said Rosie Greer tackled the guy and they arrested him.
Howard said when he first met Fred in Hartford his name was Fred Fred. He said he changed it for him when he asked him to. He said he was born Howard Howard himself. Robin said he would have been Stern Stern if that's the case. Howard said if they name you with the same name like that then you're probably going to end up crazy. He said the Kennedy's are so liberal that they want the killer of their grandfather let out of jail.
Howard said if he was asked to do let the guy out of prison he'd be like ''fuck you fuck you.'' Robin said if he had any humility then he'd ask not to be subjected to parole.
Howard said he has said that if he had ever not killed Kennedy then he would have named his son Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan. He said if he was in heaven he'd be trying to haunt his family. He said if Sirhan Sirhan was knighted he'd be known as Sir Sirhan Sirhan. He said what a fucking dick that guy is. He said his father wasn't able to come up with another name. He said it's like that band Mr. Mister. He said they weren't able to come up with anything different. He said this guy should be locked in an underground tunnel.
Mariann said that she sees the world as very dark and she found herself in that dark place while he was off. She said that Olivia Jade is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Howard said they have a real loserish list of celebrities on there this season. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Howard said he's glad she brought up Sirhan Sirhan. He said he got upset with that story while they were away. He said that he has to thank Mariann Mariann for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is really mad at him about the Kennedy thing. Howard laughed. The caller said his own son is the one who wants him released. Howard asked so what. He said that doesn't make it right. The caller said the shot came from the front from Sirhan Sirhan but the shot that came from the back is the one that killed him. Howard said if you want to go with the John Kennedy theories that's fine. He said it was on TV and he shot Kennedy on TV. He said he saw him. The caller said it was a revolver with six shots but there were 8 holes. Howard said they caught this guy and he shot him with six of those shots. He asked why he would defend the guy. The caller said he wasn't the killer. Howard said he did shoot him. He said he shot the guy and he's dead. The caller said he should be in jail but he should be let go. Howard said he doesn't have the other killer if there were two killers. He said if they have one then don't let him out. The caller said that he thinks he should be let loose. Howard said he believes he should be in jail but let loose. He asked if he should be on Dancing with the Stars with Olivia Jade and others. The caller said yes.
The caller asked if he believes there was just one killer with JFK. Howard said yes. The caller said he thinks Sirhan should be let out because he wasn't the kill shot. Howard said he has to go. Robin asked if he thinks he should be let out if he tried to kill the guy. The caller said he's coming around and he gets the point. Howard asked what he does for a living. He said he's not a good thinker. The caller said he works on the radio. Howard said no you don't. He said he works on radios like he's a radio repair man. He said he sounds a little confused confused. The caller said he's really worked up. He said he has never called in before. He said he's been listening since he came to Philadelphia. Howard said let him do the thinking for him.
Gary said there are some conspiracy theories about this Sirhan Sirhan and he's some kind of Manchurian candidate who has no recollection of the shooting.
Howard said maybe they should have other theories like E.T. came down and touched him with his lit finger and made him do it. Howard said how about this asshole went into the room and shot the guy and now he's in prison. He said keep him in prison. Howard said attempted murder is enough to lock someone up for life.
Howard said Willard Scott died the other day. He said he thought he was dead already. He said he figured he'd be like 100 years old but he was in his 80s. He said he was the original goofy weather guy. He said he did wacky stuff on the air. He said he would wear a toupee and whip it off. He said he thought that was cool that he would do that. He said it wasn't like he was trying to hide it. He said some guys hide it and will punch you out if you point it out. He said that Willard seemed old because he would celebrate people's birthdays who were over 100.
Howard said Willard was the original Ronald McDonald. He said that's how old he was. He said you figure if they're that old they must be like 100. Robin said even his TV career seemed awfully long. She said he was on as soon as TV was invented.
Howard said Bryant Gumbel hated Willard Scott. He said he thought he was a clown and too goofy. He said Bryant was pretty goofy himself so he should lighten up.
Gary said Bryant wrote a long memo about what was wrong with the show and there were like 2 paragraphs about Willard. Howard said he wrote a letter about Fred to Sirius and why he shouldn't be there. He said he destroyed that though. He said it was pretty scathing. Howard said he liked Willard Scott. Robin said she liked his goofy stuff. Howard said he liked the toupee thing. He said some people take it too seriously. He said Burt Reynolds was one of those guys who took it too seriously. He said you'd stare at his head and if you asked about it then he'd punch you out. Robin said his hair line got lower and lower the older he got.
Howard said he thinks that Burt went grey eventually with the toupee. He said he thinks that he saw him on the Tonight Show or one of those shows. He said he thinks he had thick hair. Robin said in that movie he was in with Demi Moore he had a salt and pepper wig.
Gary said when they worked at NBC he must have been in the elevator with Willard every day for a year. He said he would do something cool and he'd take out his toupee and pick it up and put it back on his head when he said good morning to women. Howard said that was funny.
Howard said you wouldn't bring up that toupee with some people. He said that they'd bring it up with William Shatner and it would upset him.
Fun George Takei knocked on the door and said he has to say on the set of Star Trek Shatner would steal toupees from around the set. He said even Tribles would disappear and Bill would have a voluminous head of hair. Howard asked if he will ever forgive Bill for what he did. Fun George said that he might be able to some day but maybe not. He said if he wants his respect he should donate money to a stop Asian hate fund. Howard thanked George for that and asked him to leave Bill alone.
Howard said maybe he should find the ME TV network. He said it looks like a lot of the shows he used to watch. He said he has to talk to the guy who puts that network out there. Robin said they had two back to back Andy Griffith shows on one night. She said she was wondering if they need that. Howard said they even have Svengoolie on Saturday nights. Robin said Howard turned her on to Yellowstone which is a great one. Howard said that really is a good show. He said you can't stop watching.
Howard said Ed Asner died and he was a great actor. He said he was really good in the shows he did with Mary Tyler Moore. Howard had a clip to play from the Mary Tyler Moore show. He said he was a really funny man. He said he was one of the only actors who got an Emmy for drama and comedy. Robin said she's trying to think of the last show he was on where he was a horrible father. Howard said that was the story of Howard Stern. He said that's not true because he wants to honor his father.
Howard said back in 1997 Ed called into the show about this guy who killed someone at the age of 17. He said that Ed and some people thought he was innocent and he called into the show to talk about it. He said they ended up debating this guy and he didn't know why they were doing that. He said it was pretty cool though. Howard played a clip from that segment. Ed and Howard were going back and forth about this kid who confessed to this shooting.
Howard said it was weird because he loved Ed Asner. He said he didn't want to get into it deeply. He said he knows about guns and he knows that they don't go off accidentally. He said you can throw a gun across the room and it won't go off. He said if the guy was convicted then why fight so hard for him? He said he's not sure what he was doing. He said it was weird because he lived and respected the guy. He said it was respectful though. He said they had a good discussion about it. Howard said rest in peace Ed.
Howard said this movie blew his mind and it's always been with him. He said he still remembers it and the lead guy in it. He said that guy had something going on. He said rest in peace to him.
Howard said he was in The Jerk. He said they have to ask Steve about him. Robin said she didn't remember that.
Howard said Benjy would run into Jackie on the street. He said that Jackie would ask Benjy if he was one of those homosexuals. He said that maybe he was looking to get it on with him. Robin said she would see him walking around Miami and New York a lot.
Howard said they had Jackie on the show a few times. He had some clips he played from a couple of times he was on the show. They had one when he was 71 years old. He was talking about age and other people in the business.
Howard said he has a clip of him talking about dying and God. He played that clip and Jackie was talking about how he's not that religious but at his age he doesn't want to take chances.
Howard said he thinks he may have timed things right. He said the earth may not stick around after he's gone. He said the earth is going to get rid of us and start over. He said he may go peacefully and the rest of the people will go violently.
Howard said Jackie Mason is gone and he was great. He said that he started out as a Catskills comedian and moved to New York City. He said Steve Allen gave him a big break. He said there you go.
Howard played some of their performance of La Grange on the show. Howard said they were just 3 guys in the band. He said he sang lead on Tush. He played some of that song.
Howard said he thinks the band kept going after Dusty died. He said that he hopes that they'd take some time off if one of the guys on their show died. He said that Led Zeppelin was over when their drummer died. He said that you'd think the guys would be more broken up over that. Howard said they held auditions at the funeral. He said he has a new Fred in the wings waiting for him to die. He said they won't miss a beat.
Howard said the new bass player has a long beard. He said it seems so weird but they claim he grew it during COVID. Robin said she's not buying it. Howard said he doest think he should have a beard. He said he loves the band but maybe leave off the beard. Robin said you have to realize this is how it is. She said life goes on without you. Howard said you're not that important. He said you know the Stones aren't stopping for Charlie Watts.
Howard said Charlie was great. He said he was a no frills kind of guy. He said he kept it going. He said he was the dude who was a successful musician before he was in the Rolling Stones. He said he was in a jazz band or something. Robin said he was making money as a musician and wasn't that broken up about being a Rolling Stone. Howard said the guy barely moved.
Howard said he heard a story about Charlie where Mick Jagger called and asked where his drummer was and he went to his room and punched him in the face and said that he's not his drummer, Mick was his singer. Howard had a clip of Charlie telling that story in an interview he did with Ed Bradley.
Howard said you know Keith Richards is going to out live all of those guys. He said the Stones announced that they had a new drummer a month before the guy died. He said the bands are just moving on. He said he can't imagine wanting to tour in your 80s but the Stones are still doing it. He said it's crazy.
Howard said he's getting a little annoyed with himself. He said he's decaying but those guys are out touring.
Howard said he has to take a break here. He said he has more guys to do obituaries for but maybe he'll do that in the coming weeks. He said he has to move along right now. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he's very excited this morning to have these two guys on. He said they were two of the Three Amigos. He said he has Steve Martin and Martin Short on.
Steve and Martin were in Howard's studio in the city. Howard asked if he can call Martin Marty today. Martin said it might not gel if they do that. Steve said he should be calm enough to handle that. Steve said it's nice to see Robin. He said they love her portion of the show. Howard said some people do tune in just for Robin. Steve said there's an app for that.
Howard said that Steve and Marty are in their studio. Steve asked when he's returning. Howard said never. He asked how they're functioning. He said he'd petrified of this disease. He asked how they got the Hulu show done. He said they did this show called ''Murders in the Building'' and it's the most watched comedy show on the service. Marty said that it's the most watched show in the world.
Steve said he's very paranoid about the disease. He said he wears a mask everywhere and he has been vaccinated. He said they have a system they work with on the set of the show. He said they have everyone masked and tested and they never had an outbreak. He said it was never the cast or crew that got sick. Marty said that there was one woman there who had a mask and a shield on. He said they had to get her a glass shield. They had her mic'd up so they could hear her. Steve and Marty did an impression of what it sounded like with her wearing a mask.
Howard said there's too many Martins going on today so that's why he's using Marty today. Steve said Marty is fine with it. Howard said with these two guys it's very difficult to figure out who to ask questions. He said that he thinks about Marty and the things he's done in his career. Howard said the fact that they're actually amigos now after being in the Three Amigos together is amazing. He said they seem to love each other. He said it must be love. Steve said he's not sure it's love. Howard said if he told him that he would get comfortable enough to share a stage with another comedian and make movies together he would have said he was a solo guy. Steve said he never thought he would work with a partner. He said he did have a fantasy about it. Steve said Marty can do it all. He said he can make funny faces... and that's it. He said that's a lot though.
Howard said Steve made a joke about Marty fitting in the overhead baggage. Steve said he does want Marty to speak but not yet. He said he and Marty have their dressing rooms next to each other and he'll hear Marty whistling. He said he will be playing banjo and Marty is whistling. Howard said it sounds like he's bitching about it.
Howard said these guys do this thing together where they subtly put each other down. He said it started right away. He said the story is that Marty went to Steve's home and looked at his paintings and said he never realized he was this rich because he's seen his work. He said that's when it all started. Steve said that's true. He said that he immediately laughed. Steve said he was walking to the set on the first day and they were dressed up like Amigos and from behind him he heard Marty as Katherine Hepburn saying ''I wish I had brought my bicycle.'' He said it was such an off the wall thing that it made him laugh.
Howard said Steve is a big star at that point and he walks in and puts him down right away. He said it worked into something. He asked if that was a line he prepared going into his house. Marty said he thinks it was spontaneous. He said this was 1985 so he was aware of his career. He said you instinctively know if someone is going to laugh. Steve said it wasn't constant put downs. He said it was Marty who initiated it and it was something that all friends should have. He said they should be able to talk down to each other like that unless it hits too hard.
Howard asked if they have ever said something that hurts. Steve and Marty said not at all.
Howard asked if he was Lenny Bruce and Mort Saul that changed comedy for them. He said those guys came along and that must have made them go ''This is whole different game.'' Marty said not for him. He said that Jonathan Winters was a big influence on him. He said he was doing what they would do on SCTV later on. He said Nicols and May were a bit influence too.
Steve said that it was movie bits and anecdotes that Lenny Bruce used to do. He said that he wasn't doing the wild stuff the whole time. He said then he got arrested and started to fight back. Howard asked if he got lazy. Steve said he thinks he got obsessed with the arrests and injustice.
Howard said he Steve was teaching people how to be funny and he wonders if that's really possible. He asked if it's a learned thing. Steve said it's both. He said you have to learn it and you have got to practice. Marty said that you have to get better but you can make Willem DeFoe work his hardest on his stand up and it may not work.
Steve said he did the Master Class thing to offload a lot of information. He said you carry this stuff around for a long time. He said he was interviewed for 3 days. He said the end result was to teach people how to edit.
Howard asked if anyone took the ball and ran with it after that. Steve said he really doesn't know. He said you may get a phrase from that class and it's like ''don't give up.'' He said it might just be a little bit of encouragement.
Howard said it seems like they're doing a lot of shows to promote this Hulu show. He asked if they prepare for the shows and prepare an act. He asked how it works for Colbert or The View. Marty said that he has always overly prepared. He said he'd sent in like 18 pages to Letterman. He said he doesn't want to do that much but it gives him the confidence to go out there. He said he is prepared and at least he gave it his best. Steve said they can't do bits when they do the show with Selena Gomez. He said they did Colbert with her last night.
Howard said that doing 18 pages for Letterman is something else. He said that takes a lot of time. He asked if it was his goal to go out there and be the best guest. He said they named him the greatest talk show guest of all time in some magazine. He asked if that means something to him. Marty said of course. Steve said he sure makes him aware of it.
Marty said he can give it his best on a show and he goes home feeling good about it but they could take a bad take of something he did and screw it all up. Steve said you don't want to bomb when you do a show. He said that's why he wants to prepare.
Howard asked Steve about a bit he did where he pulled a fly out of his crotch. Steve said he did that bit in a rehearsal hall and then he did some charity things and then he booked himself for 2 weeks in Atlantic City. He said he did this act for 2 weeks. He said he was only doing a 7 minute bit. He said he told them not to promote him but they ended up doing a billboard down in Atlantic City. He said that he did Flydini on The Tonight Show. Marty said that was in 1992 on Carson. He said he's not sure if he did that today on social media that he'd be able to do it.
Howard said Steve was a magician and some of his best comedy is doing magic. Steve said he can't do that so much these days. He said he does some tricks for his daughter but they're not sophisticated tricks.
Howard said Marty was asked to do the Tonight Show but he turned it down a bunch of times. He said he was intimidated by Carson. Marty said that he was asked to do it in like 1982. He said he thought it was hip to just do Letterman. He said he had to go on before Carson retired. He said he was so fantastic and so loose and so encouraging that it was like a dream. He said he did it 9 times in his last 4 years on the air.
Howard said he remembers seeing Betty Davis on with Marty and he didn't do the impression of her on the show. Marty said that he did that impression for her but she didn't get that it was her.
Howard said he loves that Marty did the impressions of Jerry Lewis and he did both versions of him. Steve said that he realized that this Ivermectin is like a jerry Lewis word. He had Marty do the impression with Jerry saying the name of the medication.
Marty said that he did an interview with Jerry Lewis for a DVD set that was being put out. He said that he wasn't sure how he was going to respond to him since he had done the impressions. He said he turned out to be great. He said he was really charming and loose with him.
Steve said he did the Tonight Show when he was the host. He said he has only asked 3 people for an autograph in his life. He said Jerry was one. He said Earl Scroggs and Bobby Fisher were the other two. He said he was at Benihana's and Bobby was there.
Howard asked if Steve played chess. Steve said he did as a kid but he wasn't that good. Howard said Bobby Fisher is pretty remarkable when you think about it. He said if you play you realize just how amazing he was.
Marty said he was back stage one time and he looked out and saw Kathie Lee Gifford, Bruce Jenner and Siegfried. He said that you just ask how Roy is when you see Siegfried. He said he wasn't sure what else to ask about.
Howard asked Marty if he ever had anyone get upset with him over his Jiminy Glick character. Steve said someone walked off. Marty said Tom Green didn't get it. He said he thought that he was attacking him. He said you had to go to the real mean edge and when you saw it you'd back off. He said Tom asked him not to air the show. He said that he sent him an apology note. He said he didn't mean for that to happen. He said Tom is a wildly talented man and he felt bad about it.
Howard said he likes the back stage stories. He said Steve met Elvis back stage once. He said he said something weird about his comedy. Steve said he was dead on. He said that this was in 1971 and he was back stage. He said he knows he told this story before. Marty asked if he can mouth it along with him. Steve said he had this unfunny room that he was performing in. He said the laughs were going up in the air and just dissipating. Howard asked if there are really rooms that are not funny. Steve said there really are. He said the audience isn't bad but they're not able to gel.
Steve said he had opened for Ann Margaret and he knew Elvis was coming. He said he left his door open so he could see Elvis walk by. He said that he saw a beautiful woman walking toward him and it was Priscilla. He said that she sort of moved away and Elvis walked in all in white. He said he had the huge buckle. Marty asked if it was Chris Christie Elvis. Steve said that he was thin Elvis at the time. He said Elvis looked at him and said ''Son, you have an oblique sense of humor.'' Steve said he came in and they started talking. He said Elvis asked if he wanted to see his guns. He said he had three guns on him and he showed him the guns and dropped the bullets in his hand before he gave them to him. He said he eventually was holding 3 guns and Elvis was holding 18 bullets. Howard said that sounds like a disaster.
Steve said he got a big compliment that day. He said he had a guy who got Elvis out of conversations. He said that this guy tells Elvis ''We have to go.'' He said Elvis said ''It's okay'' and they had more of a conversation with him.
Howard said this act that Steve and Marty have is something special. He said they have great lines about each other. He said that Marty has a great line about the new Hulu show. Marty said he has a line about how the Hulu shows are like Steve at the urinal, it streams for 35 minutes.
Steve said that they had a line they tried on Tom Hanks who told them it was really funny. Steve said that he likes working with Marty because he understands the term 60/40. Howard said that if people don't get it then they drop it. He said Marty will like getting laughs with just a couple of people who get it.
Marty said you listen to the audience and what they think was so damn funny. He said there are some jokes you keep in just because only 10 people might get it. He said it's worth it.
Howard asked if they're blown away by how popular The Three Amigos is today. Steve said that it did fine when it came out. He said he'd go see it in a theater and see how it plays. He said then in 2010 he got a call from a magazine called Empire over in England. He said they asked to put them on the cover of the magazine. He said it was the 25th anniversary of the movie and he didn't get why that was a big deal. He said it turns out it was a big cult thing.
Marty said sometimes you see who is coming to talk to you and you kind of know what they're coming to talk to you about. He said a 40 year old would come over to him and he knew it was going to be about Three Amigos.
Howard said he was doing obituaries this morning and Jackie Mason was one of them. He said he forgot that he was in The Jerk. He asked if he was a big fan of his. Steve said he and Carl Reiner were bit fans. He said he had such a great act. He said that he was on the outs at that time so they put him in the movie. Howard asked if he thinks that he was full of himself. Steve said not at all. He said he was just a little difficult.
Marty asked who the most difficult person was to work with. Steve said he didn't want to say.
Howard said that he heard that Robin Williams was upset when Jim Carrey took off because he thought that he was taking his place. Steve said he read that in the biography of Robin Williams. He said that he really did feel a rivalry. He said that he didn't say that he had stolen from him. Marty said it could have been exaggerated in a biography. Steve said you can get Marty's biography on Amazon... but you won't. Robin laughed and Steve said that's what he loves to hear.
Howard said he'd like to know where Chevy is and if they're not in touch at all. Marty said that Chevy moved to Bedford and he hadn't seen him in a while. He said they're in contact all the time.
Howard said they did Father of the Bride together. Howard said he imagines that Marty got upset that it wasn't a bigger movie. He said he must have wondered what happened there. Marty said that it had to be hard for Steve. He said he had done bigger movies. Steve said that you don't know if a movie is any good for at least 10 years. He said that's his mantra. He said if it lives on and if it's ever mentioned to you then it was a good movie. Howard said The Jerk might be his greatest movie then. Steve said he has no idea. He said that's up to other people to judge it. Howard said he loved Roxanne.
Howard said he was asking about this earlier. He said Marty played Franck in Father of the Bride. He said that he doesn't know if he would be able to play it today. Steve said it was written the way it came out. He said they played with the dialog but that's how it was written. Marty said they wanted him to symbolize that Steve wasn't part of this whole thing and didn't understand him. Howard said the looks Steve gives him is so great. He asked how long it takes to develop that character and if he can still do it now. Marty went right into it. He said when they did the film they did many takes. He said they weren't sure how big or small it should be. He said they did many takes. Steve said they do that with Only Murders in the Building. He said they do many takes. Steve said Frank Oz told him that they'd always use the bigger take when they worked together.
Steve asked what Franck is. Howard said that he assumed he was a gay character. Marty said they never really knew. Howard said he did. He said he always assumed that Jiminy was gay too. Marty said that Jiminy always said he enjoyed a daily pop with his lady. Marty said he doesn't think about what Howard was asking about. He said these people exist and he doesn't see why you can't play the character.
Howard said Marty did a great performance in The Big Picture but didn't take credit for it. Marty said that was a mistake if you look back on it. Howard asked if he ad libbed a lot of that. Marty said he's not sure. He said he may have but he doesn't remember.
Steve said he was a big fan of Chris Guest and he was afraid to meet him. He said he went up and started talking to him and he talked for 45 seconds and he was so nervous. He said that he said he had to go say hello to someone and Chris asked ''So this is it then?''
Howard said he gets really nervous around Steve. He said he's a big admirer of his. He said he doesn't think that he wants to talk to him and he thinks he wants to move on. Steve said he knows that feeling so that's a shame. He said next time he'll bring Marty to the party and that way he'll have someone there he respects less.
Steve said he had dinner with Carol Burnett and he's very intimidated by her. He said he knows the feeling and he tried to get her to be self deprecating and that's just not going to happen.
Howard said he went to Brad Grey's wedding and sat with Marty and Steve. He said that he knows not to say anything about them to try to out funny them. He said it's a big fucking mistake to do that.
Steve said if he has a dinner party he'll invite someone like Marty there. He said if Marty cant come he'll cancel the party. He said it would be so much fun with him. He said he wants it to be a fun party.
Howard said he was going to write Steve during the pandemic and he thinks he got a form letter back from him. He said that it may have been an email that he blasts back to people. Steve said that's not true. He said he likes making jokes in email. He said he'll get something from Howard or Jimmy Kimmel or Seth Meyers and he feels he has to write back something funny. Howard said Steve was talking about how fun the pandemic is. He said he thought that was something he wrote back to other people.
Howard said this new show is called Only Murders in the Building and it's on Hulu. Steve said he wrote up the idea for the show but they have writers for it. He said that they come up with lines and plot it out with at least 10 fantastic writers. Steve said Marty wasn't involved. He said that he told this story last night. He said he had an idea for 3 old people in a building. He said that they like crime stories and they only want to stay in the building to talk about it and then there's a murder in the building. Marty said that Steve never has writer's block. He said he never stops writing. Steve said he had this idea for like 10 years. He said then they had the idea for him to be in it. He said he would do it if Marty did it and that's what happened.
Howard asked if there's ever a time that the Hulu executives gave them notes. Steve said not that he knows of. Marty said that the early response was that they were happy. He said he doesn't think they ever gave notes.
Steve said he loves notes so he's not upset if someone gives nots. Marty said he did a show with Maya Rudolph and she'd walk on the set and know her lines and the first take would be perfect. He said he's not like that at all. He said he likes to do more than one take. He said Maya was just perfect the second she opens her mouth.
Howard asked if Selena Gomez is intimidated by them. Steve said he didn't know her that well but he knew some of her work. He said she had done as many movies at 28 as he had. He said that they hit it off really well. He said as the series went on they developed that rapport you want badly. Marty said they all wanted the same thing so they were able to work together. Steve said it was all pro and that's what you need so they can be creative later.
Howard asked what the story was about how she had to explain what WAP stood for. Steve said he didn't know the song and she asked if he knew it. He said he didn't know it was ''wet ass pussy.'' He said that song goes back a long time to the 80s. He said it was number 1. He said the other song was ''You're a fuckin' ho.'' He said she'd sing it and they'd laugh.
Howard said he hears those songs and thinks it's not music. Steve said he has thought that too.
Howard asked who is still in touch with David Letterman. He said that they did the show so many times. Howard asked if they're in touch. Steve said they do miss guys like that. He said he's not in touch with Dave. Marty said he and Dave will have dinner when he's in town. He said he has dinner with Paul Shaffer and Dave too. Marty said if you killed on Letterman then you were the happiest person in the world for a week. He said they loved him so much and were inspired by him. Howard said they were really important to him when he went on. He said he just didn't want to fuck up his show.
Steve said that the host has a hard job if they have to drag stuff out of you. He said you can give him a break if you start talking and doing things. He said it's like that little boy in him that wants to please daddy.
Howard said that Dave used to think that he could hear the clicker changing channels when he would be doing certain things on the show. He said that he felt he same way.
Howard said he's very excited about this bromance they have. He asked if they have ever seen each other nude. Marty said not from the waist up. Steve said he's only seen Marty naked through peep holes. Howard said they get Colonoscopies together. Marty said not in the same room though.
Howard said he thinks that's such a great story. He said that he has had Colonoscopies and he wouldn't want to be running to the bathroom with other people around. Steve said that was the fun part. He said that he had a Colonoscopy recently and they give you a pill instead of drinking the stuff. He said it's changed.
Marty said that Steve only had one bathroom in his house and they had a bunch of guys there so by hour 3 the place looked like day 14 of a Carnival Cruise.
Robin said it's so great that they get to work together again. Howard asked if they'll ever get sick of doing that. Steve said he hopes not. He said he imagines they'll end up doing TV one day and hearing that clicking sound that Dave talks about.
Howard said it's remarkable that they're able to keep doing what they're doing. Robin said she's up to episode 4 of this new show. Marty asked who she thinks did it. Robin said she has no idea. Howard said he's only up to episode 2. He said he has many demands on his time. Marty asked what he does the rest of the day. Howard said he loves to paint. He said that he's shocked that Steve doesn't paint too. He said Steve is an art historian. He said he has no interest in painting. He said that's mind blowing. Steve said he has to thank Howard for the gift. He said that he's a fine water colorist. He said that his paintings are full blown gallery like paintings.
Howard said Steve should take up painting. Steve asked why he would do that. He said he might as well say he wants to be a shock jock like Howard. Howard said Larry King once said that you just say what you're not supposed to say and you're Howard Stern.
Steve asked if he ever told hi the time he thought Howard was funny for the first time. He said he listened to the show and was enjoying it. He said then he was talking about The Pope and talking about his pointy hat. He said that he said he had a bottle of ketchup under that pointy hat. He said that's when he thought Howard was funny.
Howard said he follows Steve on Twitter and he does these cartoons with Harry Bliss. Steve said he's working on more. Steve said they're making a cartoon with the invention of fire. He said there are cavemen dancing around a fire and they're burning wheels in it.
Howard said that Steve wrote for a New Yorker writer and sent him jokes. He said he didn't take credit for them. Howard said he'd never be able to do that. Marty said he agrees with Howard. Steve said he was a friend and he didn't get feedback about the cartons. He said you don't know how they do. He said he wanted it that way so he didn't mind not taking credit.
Howard said he loves the line that Steve has for Marty where he says he loves touring with him because there's no Paparazzi. Steve said there are lines that they have in their act that they drop sometimes because they think they've done them too much. He said then they bring them back.
Howard said he never thought he'd see Steve touring again. He said that he thought that he had hung it up. Steve said that he did tour with a music show so that got him back on stage. Marty said that they were asked to interview each other for the Just for Laughs comedy festival. He said that went well and they took that on the road after working on it a bit.
Howard said that the guys have cocktail glasses on stage and he wonders where that came from. Steve said he had the idea to pretend they're at a cocktail party and they run into each other and put each other down. He said the bit was working just fine but they went from a high to a low in one night. He said the audience hated it. Marty said he doesn't really break up on stage but when that happens the look in Steve's eyes is hysterical so he can't stop laughing.
Howard said when he made his movie Ivan Reitman would take a different take when he was looking somewhere else and it turns funny. Steve said they can take a line that's soft and put it in another place.
Howard said these guys are geniuses. Marty said he's not sure he's a genius. He said Newton was a genius. Steve said that he imagines that 2 years after his death people will say ''Who?'' when his name is brought up. Marty said he thinks that will be 2 years before his death.
Howard said there's no better business than show business. Marty said there's not. Steve said that people ask him how he does so much. He said he tells them he has no job. He said he has to come up with something to do. Howard asked if he ever thinks he should be worth more money. Steve said sometimes he thinks that. He said when he started doing stand up tickets were $10. He said he was criticized for that. Marty said that a cup of coffee was a nickel back then.
Howard said he has to let them go but he has one more question. He said the movie Dumb and Dumber he heard Marty turned down and Steve was offered the movie too. Steve said that's not true at all. He said he had never heard of it until he came out. Marty said it's possible that it was offered to him and he didn't even know. Steve said he doesn't think it ever was offered.
Marty said that he was offered the Jeff Daniels role and he turned it down. He said he's glad it went to Jeff.
Howard said he adores both of them. He said he was watching Marty as Nathan Thurm. He said he loves that. Steve said they do that in their act. Howard said he was so good as that character. He said that he could talk to them about Saturday Night Live for hours. He asked if Steve is in touch with Lorne. Steve said oh yeah. Marty asked who his best man was at his wedding. He said it was Lorne. Howard said Marty should have been the best man.
Howard asked if Steve had to give a kidney to either Lorne or Marty who would get it. Steve said that he's not sure that either of them would want a 77 year old kidney. Howard said he thinks that they should be locked down and not going out with COVID out there. Robin asked if there are any audience mandates. Marty said if people are double vaxxed and in the same room with double vaxxed then they should be okay. Steve said that they have done shows where they were masked and no one took their mask off the whole time. He said they don't let anyone back stage at all. He said even his sister wasn't allowed back stage.
Howard asked if they get political at all. Steve said that he doesn't do it because he doesn't want to hear a boo during the show. Howard said he's really concerned about the state of the world and what's going on out there. He said with Texas and the Roe v Wade and all of that. Marty said he never knows what the answer is. He said he reads about Texas and he wonders if it's an evil practice or is the guy thinking it's the right thing to do. Howard said he doesn't get why people won't take the vaccine. Steve said that people are afraid of shots. He said that's why they come up with excuses.
Howard gave the guys a plug for Only Murders in the Building on Hulu. Howard said he wants to ask about who the greatest influences are and why Steve got his shot at the Javits Center and not at a private doctor. Steve said he was so proud to go there and doing the same thing for good. He said it was expedient and kind and it made him weep. He said that's how moving it was. Marty said he got his there and had the same experience.
Howard said this has been great and he loves hearing from the two of them. Howard said he won't be writing to Steve via email. Steve said he will send him one. Howard said he knows they have to get going so he's going to let them go. He asked if they have anything to say before they leave. Steve said he's fine. Marty said he loves America and god bless both America and Canada. Howard told them to stay safe and let them go.
Robin said that's amazing because Steve and Marty were in their studio and they're not. Howard said they're so great together. He said they're fucking awesome. Robin said it seems to be so easy for them to be funny. she said they don't labor over it. She said it just seems like fun. Howard said that's so true.
Howard said they're so good. He said that if you watch any of their stuff you see it. He said the guy in the New Yorker wrote that Martin Short might be the best talk show guest ever. Robin said you could say it about either of them. Howard said it's mind blowing to see either of them on a talk show.
Howard said the show starts at noon tomorrow. He said they'll be on at 12:15. Howard said he's in a panic because he won't get his nap in. He said he's not sure what he was thinking. He said Elton John will be on too. He said he thought it would be okay to do this special show but he was out of his mind 2 months ago.
Howard said he's trying to come up with a plan for this. He said he's not sure what he's going to do. He said maybe he can eat at 10am and then nap. He said he might get a nap in and then do the show. He said he told Beth to come down to do the show.
Robin said she can't do things either before the show. she said she has to do the show before she does anything. She said it becomes a burden. She said she can't even watch shows. She said she has to do the show first. Howard said they're going to get locked up for sounding crazy. Robin said she'll see what she can do.
Robin said on Saturday and Sunday she didn't speak because she had to get ready to do the show. She said she hadn't been paying attention to anything. Robin said she told someone that she can't speak on Saturday or Sunday. Fred played Robin's news theme while she was talking about that. Howard said they're neurotic about their voices.
Howard said the show is on at noon tomorrow if you want to tune in. He said they'll have Metallica and Miley on and Elton John will call in for a few minutes. He said they're all going to do a song together. He said Elton was part of the Metallica thing too. Howard said Robin might want to tune into the MeTV network before the show tomorrow. Robin said someone told her that they're having a Shemp marathon on the network. Howard said that's a big mistake.
Howard said that they're going to replay two of their summer specials this Friday night. He said some people missed that so they can tune in Friday night on Howard 101 for that.
Howard took a call from a guy, Henry, who said that it was great to hear Steve and Marty. He asked if they're going to have guests in the studio and when Howard is going back. Howard said there's no end to his embarrassment. He said they won't go back but Steve and Marty asked to be there. He said he said they can be there but he's not going back. He said the truth is that the Sirius studios are shut down for the most part. He said they opened them up for Steve and Martin. He said he thinks Andy Cohen did a show there but he's not doing it regularly. Howard said he's not even sure if that's the case. He said people just have to get vaccinated. He said if this thing morphs into something the vaccine doesn't work against then we're back to square one.
Howard took a call from a guy, Jeremy, who said he is fed up with the anti mask and vax people. He said he's a registered republican too. Howard said he has a friend in Pennsylvania who has young kids and they are talking about sending them back to school. He said that the parents were saying they want everyone to wear masks but the anti mask assholes were up in arms. He said the school board had a meeting and they invited a doctor and nurse in to talk about what they've seen in the hospitals. He said the doctor got up to address the crowd and a bunch of parents started screaming that they know where he lives. He said now they're threatening him. He said this is what he's talking about and how this is bizarro world. He said it's mind boggling. He said it's like Taliban stuff. He said it's a bunch of dummies.
Howard said it's the minority ruling the majority. He said it's fucked up. He said the whole thing is whacked out.
The caller said he got a chance to look at Beth's ass and he can't think of a better way to sell anything than to have her ass below it. Howard said one woman wrote her and said she doesn't follow her to see her ass shot. Howard said fuck you then don't follow her.
Jeremy asked if Howard had anything to do with the fabric covering Beth's ass cheeks. Howard said he was the one who asked her to turn around and show the bag over her shoulder. He said that's how the suit looked when she turned around. He said he said to her last night it was Bang O'clock time but she had too much to do. He said he's going to insist on it. He said it's time for the boom boom room.
Howard took a call from a guy, Paul, who said that things are going crazy out in Wyoming with COVID. He said he was in the hospital for 10 weeks with what they claimed was COVID. He said people are fighting over the mask mandate now and he doesn't get it. Robin said kids are dying from this new variant. Howard said there's another variant out there. Howard said there's one called the Mu variant. Robin said she hasn't heard of that one.
Jon Hein got on and said they're investigating this Mu variant. He said that it's able to evade immunity.
Howard let Paul go and said he really has to go but he has more people on the phone. He said that they'll be back tomorrow. He said that they're turning into work-a-holics. He said he has to make time for friends and family.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that he wanted to tell him how great the interview with Steve and Martin was. He asked how they have had longevity in the comedy world so long. Howard said they're fucking brilliant and driven. He said it's great to be able to talk to Steve Martin and Martin Short. He said he was talking to his friend Dr. Lou about that and how great it is that he gets to talk to all of these people.
Howard said it is a thrill to be able to talk to these guys. He said it's true what he said about not wanting to bother Steve. He said he thinks that was a form letter he got back from him.
Balls asked if he takes a different approach when he interviews someone like that or a musician. Howard said not really. He said he just talks about what he finds interesting.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about what they think about his ex-wife not believing in the COVID vaccine so she gave his daughter COVID. He said she already had a medical condition. He said he's now in a legal battle for custody. Howard said this is a form of abuse if you ask him. The caller said she gave it to her new husband's 3 kids too. Howard said he can't take it. He asked what his lawyer says. The caller said that the said that since he moved out of state so that's not a good thing. He said they sent a petition to the courts over that. Howard said he hopes it works out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has seen variants of the Mu variant. He said it's already in 49 of 50 states. He said it could hit the northeast this winter. Howard said he heard about this at the beginning of the summer. Howard said there's a depressing note to end the show on. Robin said they were doing so well. Howard said maybe they should do something happy before they end it. He said how about Robin talks about her sex life. Robin said that's really depressing.
Howard said people are asking for an update on Fred and what he did this summer. He said people want to know about Benjy and other show members. He said he has updates on all of that and they can get to that eventually. He said maybe Robin can sing something. Robin said she's never singing Cocaine again. She said it turns out Eric Clapton is wacky. She said that no one promoted him more than her. Fred played Robin singing ''Cocaine'' and some other songs.
Howard said Nebraska is the only state where the Mu variant hasn't been detected. He did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how it's a heavy day today. He said one of the reasons they're doing this show is because they asked him to do a special on a Thursday. He thought it was no big deal. He said he must have been out of his mind. He said he should be napping right now.
Robin said she can't do anything before the show so she's suffering too.
Howard said he didn't know what to do this morning so he asked Beth to go for a walk. He said it was pouring rain so they got rained on. He said he walked like 4 miles and had to take a nap. He said he wants to come through for Metallica because it is the 30th anniversary of their ''Black'' album. He said musically it's right up there with any of the greats. He said there are some songs on here that are almost classical. He said he loves those guys too.
Howard said he ruined one of their great moments as a band at the MTV Video Music Awards. He said it's one of the legends. He said they were so committed to their music. He said they were devoted to what they were doing. He said they had a vision and they stuck to it. He said they broke through and they had a video nominated for a Video Music Award. He said he presented them the award as Fartman. He said his ass was bigger than you can imagine. He said he bent over and farted and blew up the podium. He said the band was cheering him and he was showing his ass. He said it was his ass that was an attention whore. He said he remembers spinning around on the wires and Lars put his foot up his ass. He said he didn't celebrate the moment correctly.
Howard said if you want to explore the Black album then watch some videos online. He said they go through the making of that album. He said they must have known they were making history because they video taped every moment of it. He said he loves it.
Howard said what the boys have done is get other bands to cover their songs. He said they invited all kinds of bands to cover the album. He said Miley does a cover of ''Nothing Else Matters.'' He said Elton John played piano on her cover. He said he'll be calling in today to talk about that.
Howard said the reason they're here today is because they're in L.A. and they're there on the East coast. He said he never does this for guests. He said he did it for Madonna but he never wanted to do it again. He said for Metallica he'll do it. Robin said big names have asked them to change.
Howard took a call from a guy, Daniel, who said they're going to have one of the best living bassists in history on the show. He wants him who he thinks is the best bassist of all time. Howard said it will be Jack Bruce. He said he has to know that.
Howard asked the caller who he thinks it is. The caller said it's Primus. Howard said he'll ask Robert that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he should do the show at this time every day. He said the first thing he thinks about with Metallica is the time they saw them with the orchestra in Madison Square Garden. He said it was just so different. Howard said a bunch of them went to see the band and they got so charged up. He said they were at the base of the stage and they were so jacked up from it. Ralph said they were right on top of them.
Howard said they were jamming with Robert on stage. He said they were head butting. He said he's not sure how it happened but they pulled a guy's pants off.
Howard said he would work out and work out to the Black album. He said it would get him all pumped up. He said they took their friend Richie's pants off. He said he didn't even know it. He said the guy was mooning the audience and didn't even know it.
Howard said that album makes him mental. He said thanks to them he produced his biggest load ever. He said it was huge. Howard said he has to take a break and get to the band. He let Ralph go and went into a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said they're celebrating the Metallica ''Black'' album 30th anniversary today. He said it's one of the greatest albums ever made. He said he's going to go through it song by song. He said the band is standing by with Miley Cyrus out in L.A.
Howard got the guys on the line and asked it they're ready. The guys all said they are and said hello. Howard said it looks like a high school yearbook picture out there. Howard said it's so beautiful of Miley to be part of this celebration. He asked why they didn't celebrate the 15th anniversary of the Hannah Montana album. The guys said they were busy. Miley said that she covered ''Nothing Else Matters'' a few years ago and Lars was there. Lars said this predates the album idea. Howard said Miley has been performing covers of some really difficult songs. He asked if they knew that. He said she did Black Dog. He played some of that performance.
Howard said it's a difficult song to perform. James said she belongs in rock. He said she's got the balls. Miley agrees she's got the balls. James said she's making the right moves and making that transition into an extremely respected singer.
Lars said that Miley is actually joining Metallica. Miley said it's Mitallica.
Howard said Miley was put on a TV show as a kid and she was performing at a young age. He said she wasn't able to do that rock and roll thing. Miley said that people were judging her in the past and she's making the change now. She said that she's not being looked at as a credible artist. She said that she's performing with them today so it validates what she's doing. She said that there was a rocky transitional period. She said her fans were feeling disappointed. She said Party in the USA is still in her set but she does other songs like Joplin's ''Maybe'' too. She said they can have it all and she can have it all too. James said he loves that. Howard said he does too.
Howard got Elton John on the line to talk about how he helped Miley with the song. Howard asked Elton to talk about this song that he did with Miley. He said you'd think that he doesn't play Metallica songs but it's a beautiful piano piece he did.
Elton said that he was asked to do the song as he wanted to do it. He said he did it via Zoom in London. He said it's one of the best songs ever written. He said the whole song has drama written all over it. He said he thought it was great to start with piano. He said that led to other people playing on the song as well.
Howard asked if he hears the song in his head as piano. Elton said that it's very melodic and it's got a beautiful melody. He said it's a juxtaposition. He said he found it very easy to do. He said he had a ball doing it.
Howard asked the band what they think when Elton is performing their song. He asked what it was like fort them. Lars said that Andrew Watt was producing the song. He said he came up with the idea and he played on it. He said he was in the loop and was asked what he thought about Elton doing it. He said within a day it was happening. He said that 40 years ago he never would have thought this was going to happen. He said it's just incredible to hear all of this from Elton.
Howard said he thinks that Elton doing this turns him on even more than doing his own songs. Elton said he had no intentions of doing a song during lock down. He said it all became accidental.
Elton said he had done a song for the Hollys 54 years ago and now he's doing it for Metallica. He said it's just a ball to do this. He said that musicians do this all the time and to be able to do this was rejuvenating. He said because of this song he's got an album of his own coming out. He said this was an inspiration for him doing his own new album.
Howard said Miley is going to perform with Metallica in a short time. Elton said he'd like to talk about her. Howard said she has been through a lot. He said she can rock with the best of them. Howard said he reads comments about her being able to rock but it's been a rough road. Elton said she has done some amazing stuff. He said she has to go out and get a band to rock her ass off. He said her voice is astonishing. He said she's one of the best rock singers out there. He said she's been itching to do this for a long time and now she can do it.
Lars said that they had a Chris Cornell tribute a few years ago and she stole the show. He said that was the talk of the town that day. Howard said she did ''Say Hello to Heaven'' that day. Howard played some of that performance and told her how great it was.
Howard said he has to ask Elton about what he read about Ed Sheeran giving him a gift of a giant penis statue. He asked where it is and what's happening with it. Elton said he's actually sitting on it. Howard said he knew it. Elton said that's why he's in such a good mood. The band laughed. Howard said he is in a very good mood today. Elton said it's hidden away in his office so his kids don't see it.
Howard said he's a very responsible father for doing that. Elton said back in the day they would have been snorting coke off of it. Howard asked if the maid polishes it or would that be inappropriate. Elton said that he's never asked but she does come out of that room smiling. Howard asked if it has balls or not. Elton said it does.
Howard said Elton has a new album coming out called ''The Lockdown Sessions'' which will be out soon.
Elton said that he worked with Charlie Puth, Lil Nas X, Gorillaz and others on the album. He said that he worked with Stevie Wonder and Brandi Carlile. Howard said Brandi is great. Elton said she's been a friend of his for 18 years. He said that she did a track and Stevie Nicks and Eddie Vedder too. He said he did one with Nicki Minaj too. Howard said he thanks him for coming on today. Elton said their album is amazing and it's a no brainer to come on with the guys. He said they have survived many ups and downs as he has. He said they are one of the greatest bands of all time.
Howard said the band has had a lot of troubles but they worked through them and they are still here. Elton said they love each other and that's very rare and touching. Howard said he'll be mailing him a giant male Anus to go with his giant penis. Elton said that it's from one asshole to another. Howard thanked him for coming on.
Howard said he can't imagine the band being into doing something like this when they started out. Lars said Elton has been very interested in other bands and music and he used to buy all of the albums that had come out that week. He said he has always had a selfless love of music and has given so much back. He said he's an inspiration and someone to aspire to.
Howard said that he has to talk about ''Nothing Else Matters'' and what a great love song it is. He said James almost didn't show the song to the band. He said he was embarrassed by it. James said it was a very vulnerable thing to bring to the band. He said it's one of the must vulnerable things to sing about. He said you try to protect yourself and he was shocked when Bob Rock and Lars said it was beautiful and amazing. He said it was a life changing experience to be able to perform it for them.
Howard said he used a different voice in the song too. James said it felt natural to him. He said that's what he wanted to do in that song. He said this is what he likes doing and he hoped the audience would like it too.
Howard said he thinks that James and Miley have a lot in common. He said he saw Miley warming up for a show and she ran on a treadmill and sang at the top of her lungs. Howard asked why she did that. Miley said she hadn't been out in a while during lock down so she was trying to get her stamina back. She said that's why she was working out like that. She said she wanted to be able to stand there and sing. She said she was trying to get her breath control and stamina back.
Howard asked why James went to a Canter to get his voice. James said he had lost his voice back then in the studio. He said he didn't know any better to stop singing. He said he lost his voice doing some songs like ''So What'' and others and it scared the hell out of him. He said he felt like something was wrong and he went to a doctor and he suggested a vocal coach who was in the area. He said he was super scared that he was going to be singing opera or doing Bar Mitzvahs.
Howard said he got his voice back. James said he did and things didn't change. He said the guy helped him and he's very grateful for that person.
Howard said everyone has things that make them think they're going to change if they do something. He said you think you're going to lose your edge and it can hold you back.
Howard said James must have been thinking about this woman who wasn't by him and he started strumming the song as he was on the phone with her. James said that he doesn't remember exactly. He said he was sitting there with a guitar and he was just playing and he came up with a melody and there was something there. He said guitar pieces he loves have a rhythm in the background and it just happened. He said that it just went from there. He said it's not him, it came from somewhere else. He said he's just glad it came through him.
Howard asked if he has feelings for that woman anymore. James said not right now but he's not ashamed of that. He said he has learned from a lot of relationships and that was one of them.
Howard went through the lyrics with James and asked about what they meant to him. James said that he had a revolving bed like the rock stars of the 70s. He said they didn't know what love really was. He said that having someone you cared about was a scary thing. He said it was almost unwelcomed. He said he didn't think he was doing right when he was in love.
Howard said it's strong to be able to open up like that. He said that's one of the biggest leaps they had on this album. He said that's a big deal.
Lars said they were doing albums and they were making songs longer and longer. He said they knew they had to do something different. He said he and James had just started and they were playing the rough sketch of this song. He said he didn't know that James had this in him. He said it was just something he had been working on and he didn't think that it fit with the band. He said they had to embrace it and show people that there was more to what they were doing.
Howard asked Lars if he knew the woman that James wrote the song about. Lars said he did. Howard asked if she was that great or did he feel he should get away from her. Lars said that he'll let James run with that. James said they were all out of their minds. Howard asked if the woman knows the song is about her. James said he has no clue. He said he hasn't been in contact.
Howard asked Kirk if he's upset that this is the only song that James took all of the lead guitar parts on. Kirk said he hit it right on the nose and it was great. He said that he was getting over the shock of him writing a love song to his girlfriend at the time. James said for Elton to say that it has a great melody is something. He said Elton put melody into his heart. He said before he even know about Black Sabbath he remembers picking up a tennis racket to air guitar to ''Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting.'' He said his heart is so full for Elton right now. He said everything feels great right now. Howard said he's so glad to hear him saying that. He said he got emotional for them when he heard that.
Howard asked Miley if she just sings this song or sings it to someone. Miley said when she did it at Glastonberry it was about music. She said that's what she was singing it about. She said she did this song with a lot of clothes on and she had a fuck ton of amps and started her set with a cover and she didn't know how the fans were going to take it. She said they knew that she was getting divorced 2 weeks before this and this was her first show back. She said the song was about the music to her at the time. She said she had pulled her shit together and this song is what drove her to that place. She said her life was falling apart at the time and this song was like a love letter to her life.
Howard asked if Miley has talked to James about sobriety at all. Miley said she hasn't. She joked that they got drunk yesterday but said she was kidding. Howard asked James if you can smoke weed and be ''sober.'' Miley said she only smokes CBD. James said he doesn't know shit. He said he knows what works for him and what doesn't work for him. He said he's actually trying to discover what works for him. He said he has to do this for himself and he's not sure what works for you. He said he's still learning and still teachable. He said he's 58 and still teachable. Howard asked if he's really 58. James said he thinks so.
Howard said he looks at Miley in a fatherly way. He said that he doesn't think about banging her but her mom is a different story. Miley said she hasn't met the guys in the band. Miley said her mom is a groupie and she was into GNR.
Howard said he wants to hear the guys do this song. He said he has to be clear on this. He said that when she did this song for the album she was doing it with Elton. He said Robert was doing it too. Miley said that Robert came in after she did her part. Robert said that it was an honor to do it and it was even better when Elton came in to do it later. Miley said she recorded to a click track. She said that was at her home studio. Howard asked her to explain what that is. Miley said it's just time with no instruments or music. She said that Andrew helped her out with that. She said that he told her that Elton and Yoyo Mah was going to do it too. She said she didn't think that was going to happen. She said one piece kept coming together every day.
Lars said that Chad Smith played drums on it too. He said they have to thank him for doing that. He asked if Robert played with him. Robert said he may have played just after him. He said they were all feeding off of Miley's vocal. He said that drove them into this place. He said she inspired them to do what they did. He said it's one of the best songs that Chad has ever done. He said no disrespect to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said it's one of the best tracks Chad has ever recorded.
Howard said he's not sure how you sing to a click track. He said he'd want to her guitar or drums. Miley said that they had Watt in the studio and they gave her a pitch reference. She said she has video of it and it's kind of ridiculous. She said when she plays it then it kind of falls apart in a nice way. She said that the click track is so it's in perfect time. She said the song needs to fall apart. She said that she knows the song so well because she's heard it so many times.
Howard said he's going to send all of them a giant penis statue because they all deserve it. Miley said thank you. She said she has 16 in her house already.
Howard asked Robert if he heard the discussion about bass players. He said that he has to agree that Jack Bruce is the best in history. James said that Robert is the best of all time. Robert said he's thinking about Jocko Pastorius and Geezer Butler too. He said that Jack was great but those guys are up there. He said it's a touch question. Lars brought up Geddy Lee and Robert said he's great too. Howard said he was always upset that he looks like Geddy Lee. He said he never got any girls.
Howard asked the guys if they have rehearsed this song. Lars said they have gotten through it. Howard asked if Miley is nervous doing this. Miley said she's always nervous. She said that she misses doing it in the room with him. She said that she really misses Howard and doing songs in that way in the studio. She said that the word they were using earlier was ''acceptance.'' She said that doing covers has gotten her through things and these guys used to do that too. She said that you take these little parts and become a mosaic of artists you respect. She said she's very excited about this but she'd rather not have people saying it's going to be great before they do it.
Lars said that they would love to be in Howard's studio to do it. He said that's so great. He said if they fuck it up they'll just do it again. Howard said he doesn't want to put any pressure on them at all. James thanked Howard for letting them cut into his meditation time. Howard seemed to think that he was goofing on him but James was being serious. Kirk said he's been meditating for 20 years and he knows what it means to him. He thanked Howard too.
Howard said they should celebrate the song and Miley with the band. He said if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. He said don't feel any pressure. He said they're all fans of them. Howard thanked the band and Miley for doing this.
Howard had them get into the song. They went into ''Nothing Else Matters.'' James asked what song they were doing. They eventually got into it after Miley and the guys figured out what they were going to do. It took a minute or two for them to get it worked out.
After the song Howard said wow and what can he say. He asked how it felt for Miley. Miley said she would always do it again. She said it feels pretty fucking good to front the band. She said she's working on her new album and she's going to have some flex when she can say she sang with the band. She said she wanted to do a different thing with the second verse of the song and she didn't do it today. She said she would do it again. Miley said she went through Doll Parts and wanted to do it differently than she did on Howard's show. She said she never did it again. Howard said you always want to do something different. He said you can drive yourself crazy.
Lars said they used to get after each other when they would do a show and complain about fucking things up. He said now they laugh about the fuck ups.
Miley said it's so great to be out there doing live shows again. She said when they hear you fuck up they know it's live and one of a kind. She said online you'd be even more pissed off. She said the comment section is the worst place. She said she won't even visit that anymore. She said doing this was great and she's feeling like she's being validated. She said she won't go to the comment sections anymore. She said doing it live is about making mistakes.
Howard said imagine coming up with social media and having people telling you that you fucked it up. He said he's with Miley on that. James said there's plenty of death by internet. He said he has enough trouble just being himself and he needs someone to lift himself up. He said Miley did it just the way it should be. He said they'll do it differently next time.
Miley said people got used to streaming concerts at home. She said that her audience has something to live for when she does a live concert. She said she worked to get tickets to O-Town when she was growing up. She said that she wants people to come see her live and fuck something up. She said they get an experience when they come to the show.
James said that Miley came from the TV world and it was all perfect so it's freeing to be on stage and screwing things up.
Howard asked if they're going to be hanging out more. He said it seems like they worked well together. He said he thanks them for doing this. Miley said it was great to do it. Howard said he has to thank James for letting Kirk play guitar today. Kirk said he has to thank Howard for making it happen.
Howard said his audience hates him but they all love Miley. James laughed. Howard let Miley go after that. He said she has to get going but he wants to talk more about this album.
Howard asked what's with her voice. He said it's low for a woman. Lars said she has a lot of range. He said she can get up to those registers at the end. He said it's great to be able to play around those high notes and it's super fun.
Lars said they have 53 songs on the album and they have different takes on the songs. He said it's really cool.
Howard said he read that the guys were going through divorces at the time they were working on this album. He asked if they were free of their relationships and that's how they were freed musically. He asked what was going on with that. Kirk said just being in the studio working on the music was a way to get away from home and the situation there. He said it was a safe place for him.
Howard said the original video for the song ''Nothing Else Matters'' has over 1.2 billion views on YouTube. He said you put out a song and don't know how it's going to be accepted and that's how it does. Lars said it's pretty crazy. He said they're asked about how it feels to have albums sell so well. He said that back then it was kind of cool and now it's surreal. He said they celebrate still being a band and being able to be in a room together. He said they're a forward looking band and they have this weird paradox about what they did 30 years ago. He said he looks forward to what they're doing in the future. He said it's weird having a record that's so appreciated by so many people.
Howard asked if the album was really going to be named Married to Metal. Kirk said that was just a joke because they had 3 guys getting divorced.
Howard said they have sold over 30 million copies of the Black album. He said they have so many stats on this thing.
Howard said this guy who produced the album was Bob Rock. He said when someone named Bob Rock comes in you must want to just get him the hell out of there. Lars said they had done 4 albums with other producer and they wanted to get with another person to change things up. He said that he had just made a great Cult record and a Motley Crue record and they wanted things to sound bigger. He said someone set up a meeting with him and they went up to Vancouver to meet with him. He said they had some rough demos in their pocket and played them for him. He said that Bob called this one song their Kashmir of the 90s. He said Bob thought they never captured what they were doing live on their albums. He said he wanted to capture that for them. He said a few months later they were in the studio and halfway through the song he asked them to change the chords in the song. He said that was so foreign to them that it was a shock. He said there was a lot of getting to know each other the first few months. He said Bob represented a lot of what they didn't like in their first few years. He said it took a few months to get comfortable with that. He said they would get through a song and not fuck it up but that didn't mean it had soul. He said they spent a year on that record and it was a crazy, eye opening experience. He said they ended up working with him for another 15 years after that.
Howard said this guy Bob Rock is pretty ballsy. He said he'll stand up to James and tell him what he wants to hear. He said he called James Dr. No because he said no so much. He said that he would stand his ground with him though.
Howard said he thinks that Bob Rock deserves a lot of respect. James said he agrees. He said he was running the show and he was the guy helping the to change and bridge into that Dr. Maybe kind of thing. Howard asked if he could tell that Bob was right in a way. James said it's so true because things did sound different. He said he brought his buddies in to hear it and they were blown away. He said he knew it was working.
Lars said it was so fun because other bands were working on their stuff and they'd go out and share stuff with them. He said you could play it without worrying about it showing up on some web site the next day like it does now.
Howard asked if they worried about other bands taking their stuff. Lars said not at all. He said they were all doing their own thing at the time.
Robert said that he remembers back then when everyone was doing their own thing and how there were a lot of gigs. He said these great bands were out playing and there was a lot of energy. He said he remember seeing James at a club and he thinks he was drunk and asked if he could jam with him. He said James told him he wanted to jam with someone else over him. James said he's sorry about that.
Lars said he remembers meeting new bands and how much fun it was. He said they met Alice in Chains and bands like that. He said that everyone was inspiring each other. He said no one felt like other bands were going to steal from each other. He said they'd all end up in the same place at night.
Robert said they were over in London once and Sebastian Bach was there and he asked to hear some songs and he was pulling Lars by his feet and banging his feet like he was drumming. Howard said Sebastian came on the show once and tied his penis in a knot. He said he had never seen a shlong so big before.
Howard asked why there's no scene like that now. Lars said it's social media. He said everyone knows where everyone is now and they're in constant contact.
Howard said it's been 40 years that the band has been together. He said that he has to clear some stuff up. He said that he read that this producer sold his piece of the Black album. He said that he would never do it because he'd get a check every year. He said that seems surprising to him. He asked why Bob sold his piece. Kirk said he talked a little bit to Bob about it. He said his whole thing is that he's getting older and he still has things he wants to do. He said he wants to make music and do things in his life and that helped him do it.
Howard said the guys actually buy up songs and have a publishing company. Lars said they're in the early stages of that right now. Howard asked if it's a certain type of music. Lars said not at all. He said there are bands that are continually played on the radio and streaming. He said they have such a great team around them that they figured they could do something like that to contribute to other artists. He said they have been school to be very protective of their own stuff. He said they figured they could help some artists navigate this stuff. He said when they meet other artists they hear about how they got fucked over back in the 60s and 70s. He said their friends in Black Sabbath went through that too. He said in the 80s they took some of that power back. He said if they can help make a difference then that's a good thing.
Howard asked James if he thinks Bob should have sold his portion of the Black album to the band. James said he had no clue he was doing that. He said he's not sure if they would have bought it but maybe.
Howard said the guys in Royal Blood did a cover for them. Lars said his whole family fell in love with that band. He said they're going to be doing ''Sad But True'' and there are some great covers from people like Jason Isbell. Howard said he doesn't have that one but he has the Chris Stapleton version that he played.
Howard said all of these projects are coming out. He said he wants to know what they can do to wind up. He said they're going to do another song. Lars said they're going to do ''Sad But True.'' Howard asked if they have anything to say about the song before they do it. He said it's such a good song. James said this is one of the first riffs that Bob Rock heard and he said it was amazing. He said that this is a fun song to play. He said that it's tuned down. Howard asked what that means. Kirk said you take the low string down so it gets lower and heavier. He said in this song they took all six strings down. James said they used to do a drop D but this is everything down. Howard asked whose idea that was. James said probably the guy tuning their guitars. Howard said it seems like a wild thing to do. They weren't sure how it came about exactly. James said that if you tune it too low you have to sing higher. He said it's almost a math kind of thing. He said it's all based on feel for them. He said at the end of the day it's what sounds better. Lars said a lot of it comes together in the studio.
Howard asked if it was weird to record all of the songs in the same room together. Lars said they had never done that before. He said the objective in the studio was to execute what they had come up with in a perfect way. He said it was nothing about the feel. He said it was just a practical process. He said that's until they sat with Bob who told them how to do it to give it some soul. He said it opened their eyes to doing it a different way.
Howard said this is the boys playing ''Sad But True'' for you live. The guys warmed up a little bit and then went into the song.
After the song Howard said they still have it. He said the magic is still there. He said what a great song and a great album. He said they're celebrating 30 years of the Black album. He went through the album song by song. He played little bits of the song and said it's really something. He said that live performance was fantastic. He said that lead guitar that Kirk plays is something else.
Howard asked Kirk when he knew he was a professional musician. Kirk said when people get up and walk out of the room. He said that means that you're moving someone either good or bad. He said he was communicating with his instrument and he was driving his parents and sister crazy with it and he was loving it.
Howard said there must come a time when you make a career out of it and know you can make a living. Kirk said that's when he was able to play a Thin Lizzy album and play an entire song from beginning to end. He said the next day he went to a drummer's house and played a whole song with him. He said it felt like a whole accomplishment. He said he knew he could do it. Howard asked what song it was. Kirk said it was a song named ''Johnny'' off of Johnny the Fox. Howard asked if he was able to do it without cheating. Kirk said he played it like 50 times that day. He said he learned the song and played it over and over. It was the repetition that did it. He said he just kept playing it over and over. He said that one song is one he could play from start to finish. He said he had only been playing for about a month. He said you just know inside that you can do this and it's a spark you get inside.
Howard said it's not only about desire but about sheer will. He said you have to make yourself into a professional. Kirk said inspiration is another thing that's just as important. He said you have to be able to see yourself doing it in the future. He said the first time he got paid was great too. He said it was 15 bucks and that's the greatest thing. He said he couldn't believe that someone paid them to play.
Lars said they were out playing with Ozzy one time and they were getting into all corners of America. He said they were playing to 10-15,000 people a night. He said at the last show in Virginia or wherever it was they were in the back of the bus and their manager came in and said they'll all have enough money to buy a house when they get home. He said they were out there doing it for fun but they also get a house for the hell of it. He said it was all so surreal. Kirk said he remembers that. He said one of the guys said that he was going to get a gun that shoots knives and shoot them at the wall.
Howard said that he read a story about them smashing up dressing rooms just because that's what they thought they should do. He said they didn't know it cost money. James said they were throwing TVs out of hotel windows and stuff because that's what they read about. He said they saw that they were getting away with chaos. He said they thought that's what they were supposed to do. He said that was in the Jaegermeister days. He said that stuff made them crazy. Lars said the first big show they played in San Francisco was run by Bill Graham. He said they were playing at 10 in the morning and hanging out and by the time the day was done they were ripped. He said the dressing room took a beating. He said on Monday morning James was called to Bill's office to get a finger wag. James said he was the papa bear of helping these bands and it was all about helping people out and they smashed up the dressing room. He said they had no clue that they had bands coming in the next day to perform. He said he got the call into Bill's office and he was told that he had to go to the meeting. He said they told him he had to clean up this mess.
Howard asked if Bill got through to him or was he just an angry young man. James said that management got through to him. He said this was a mess he had to clean up because this was screwing up the band. He said when he went in Bill asked who he thinks he is. Howard asked why he did think he was entitled to do that. James said he wasn't thinking about anyone else. He said this is what he wanted to do. Howard asked if he shudders at night thinking about what could have happened if a TV fell on someone and killed a person. James said he thinks about it all the time. He said he did a lot of stupid things. He said he's super grateful that they're standing there live and able to play.
James said Bill Graham had the same talk with a bunch of people like Sid Vicious and Keith Moon. James said that he had to go back in and say thank you to him and tell him that he will respect what he said and do his best. He said next time he played in town he had the whole back stage covered in clear plastic. He said all of the walls and guitars were covered. He said he realized he had a great sense of humor.
Lars said that they were all outsiders and they didn't belong anywhere and they didn't have anything but each other. He said that the music business was tough and every fiber of them was to give the middle finger to what it was supposed to be. He said they acted contrary to what people told them to do. He said all of that fueled them. He said that's the scene they came out of. Lars said as their music was getting noticed they realized there were a lot of people out there like them. He said that's why their Black album became the mainstream. He said it wasn't them moving there but the mainstream moving to Metallica. He said it was a crazy time back then. He said there were some huge albums that all came out within a month of each other.
Howard said they weren't bowing to the current thing and this album never would have come out if they had bowed to that. Howard said he's glad he got to celebrate this with them today.
Howard said they have a couple of projects going on right now. He said they have the box set and The Metallica Blacklist which has a bunch of covers on it. He said there's so much to cover. He said all of the profits go to the charity ''All Within My Hands'' that the band has. Howard said these songs can be converted into all different genres. He said that he has to thank them for doing what they did and for Miley to come in and do what she did.
Howard asked about James punching Lars in the face one time. Lars said they were playing a show where they got an encore. He said it was like 6-9 months into the band. He said they had a difference of opinion and James disagreed with him on that. He said he started the song with drums and James didn't want to do that. He said when they got off stage he got a punch in the stomach. He said for balance through the rest of the 80s James helped in many ways. He said he had a big mouth and was able to throw smart ass comments. He said that he would say the wrong thing but they were funny. He said that James would clean it up for him and throw punches at other guys for him.
Howard asked where James learned to fight. James said he doesn't know how to fight. Lars said it's all about the Jaegermeister.
Howard went through the box set list and what's on that. There's a lot of CDs, vinyl and other things in the set. He said he'd need a truck to carry it around. Lars said they're all looking at each other wondering what all of this is. Howard said congratulations on all of this. He said it's one of his favorite albums. He said get the box set and James will throw a TV set at you if you get one.
Howard said he lays awake at night thinking about doing 4 hits of LSD one night. He said he still thinks about how close he came to losing his mind. He said it was that bad. He said he thinks about how glad he is that it didn't happen. He said he could have fucked up his whole life. He said he thinks that's what James is talking about doing what he did. He said it's astounding that they survived.
Lars said thanks for the support during this and the pandemic. Lars said he and Jess have been following Sparrow on Beth's Instagram. He said that they love that story. Howard said he's not sure the rest of the band are following along but he knows Lars and his wife are into animal rescue. Howard said people are such scum bags. He said this woman was breeding cats and she went away and locked them in a cage and put heating lamps on these cats. He said they had no food for 2 weeks and they lost their eye sight and hearing. He said Beth took in Sparrow and it was a whole long saga. Lars thanked them for doing that.
Howard said congratulations again and said he's going to go take a nap. He said that Robin did take her top off during the songs for those who were wondering. Howard said she was 100 percent behind that. He said it's great to see them and thanks again to Elton John, Miley and the guys.
Howard asked Robert why he's so quiet. Robert said he's just taking it in. He said that it was great to have Elton on with Miley. He said he once met Elton and he was about 12 years old. He said they were in a big station wagon there in Studio City and they saw a limo and went up to it when they saw it was Elton. He said he was selling the L.A. Times and had him sign on his clipboard.
Lars said Elton is a big tennis fanatic and he knows a lot of things about his family because they were into tennis. He said he's such a great human being. He said he tells great stories and it comes from a good place. He said he's such a great human being. Howard said he really is. He said he saw him play with Billy Joel once and he sat with his daughter and him for like 20 minutes. He said this was too good to be true. Robin said there are people who actually like people and will do that. Howard said he would never do that.
Howard said he went to one of their shows with his friends once and they pulled their friend's pants down. He said he's not sure if they heard the story earlier. Howard congratulated them again and let them go a short time later.
Howard said he loves those guys. He said that album is so good. Robin said they don't live in this world and when they talk music that's a language they don't hear.
Howard said Miley was looking good. Robin agreed. She said she sounded great too. Howard said she did. Howard said Elton John popped on too. Robin said he looked fantastic too. Howard said he's no spring chicken.
Howard took a call from fake Mick Jagger who wanted to do the show at 2pm tomorrow. Howard said he thinks that if it was the Stones he thinks he might have to do it. He said he doesn't think any other band though. Robin said they'll never get to Charlie Watts. Howard said he's after Mick and Keith. Robin said they had better get in there soon then.
Howard said he's not sure if he should take calls or not. He said Keith Richards is on the phone too. He took that call that lasted about 2 seconds.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for coming in on a Thursday and giving them Metallica for an hour and a half.
Howard said Bubba the Love Sponge said that they did a great show when they came back on Tuesday. He said that was nice to hear from someone who knows how hard it is to put together.
Howard said he got up and did his morning routine before the show today. He said he thought he had it all figured out. He said he fucked up his whole schedule. He said he got soaking wet and went on too long a walk. He said he had to shower before the show and that fucked up his hair. He said everything was off today because of that. Howard said he has a whole thing he has to do to put together this look. He said you know what happened if you see someone who looks like a woman in place of Howard Stern. He said he's sorry he's not Brad Pitt. he's sorry he can't tie his penis in a knot like Sebastian Bach. Robin said she can't believe he told them that story. Howard said it stopped them in their tracks.
Howard said the other thing that got them was when he said he pulled his friend's pants off. He said James is punching people and he's pulling his pants off. He said he's pretty crazy too. He said when he gets wild he gets super gay. Howard said his friend didn't even know his pants were off.
Howard took a call from a woman, Barbie, who said it was such a surprise to hear Miley. She said that her kids love her and she can't wait to share it with them. Howard said he can't wait for her to see it on the app. He asked the guys when they think that will be up. He said he's really looking forward to everyone seeing that. The caller asked if she was in studio with the band. Howard said she was.
Howard was about to take a call from Dry Lisa but she hung up. Howard said don't be so impatient. He said he was about to get to her. Howard said Ronnie turned her into wet Lisa.
Howard took a call from a woman, Jennifer, who said she is a veterinarian and follows all of the fosters that they do. She said she has a lot of fosters herself and she has to thank Howard and Beth for what they do. She said it makes a big impact. Howard thanked her for that. He said he thinks she's saying that he's a hero in a way. He said that they get a lot of joy out of it. He said that Beth spends day and night on it and she's remarkable.
Howard said you have to hear this story. He said his wife does all of this on her own. He said he has a woman who helps her named Cindy and Dr. Jackie too. He said she does everything in the house herself. He said that Jimmy and Molly visited for a few days and they sent them gifts after. He said they got them this gift that he really didn't want. He said it's a ring that Molly was wearing. He said it's a ring that's a health ring. He said it tells you how well you slept and how much walking you did and stuff like that. Howard said he asked his wife who the fuck wants to wear that. He said he knows he's not meeting any exercise goal. He said he doesn't want to know how well he slept. He said he knows how well he slept.
Howard said they got the rings in the mail and they got one for each of them. Beth tried one out but he didn't want anything to do with it. He said they were sitting down talking and Beth is walking around all the time. He said she got an urgent email from the ring that told her to get off her butt and walk around. Howard said she's constantly on her feet and the ring is telling her to get up and move. He said she got up and started moving around. He said this ring is managing their lives.
Howard said today they walked 4 miles. He said he wouldn't have known that without the ring. He said Beth did 7.5 miles yesterday just around the house. He said you can get in shape just rescuing animals. He said there's no way he's wearing that ring though.
Howard took a call from Dry Lisa and asked how her summer was. She said it was good. Howard asked if she got wet this summer. She said she got wet in the rain. She said sexually she can't even talk about. She said she's wet from Metallica today. She said she has to thank them for having them in today.
Howard said he loved it when Ronnie got her wet. Lisa said he was being compassionate checking in on her. She said it had something to do with Wolfie. Howard played a clip from the call Ronnie made to Lisa where he described what he'd do to her.
Howard said that was sexy. Lisa said that was a good call. Howard thanked her for the call. He said he got wet from the vomit on his lap that day.
Howard said they should probably go. He said it's 15:06. Robin said that means it's 3:06. Howard said he didn't want people to know that he has a military background and knows time that way. He wondered why they do that. Robin said it's easier that way to know what time they're talking about. Howard said he has to do math to figure out what time it is though. Howard said he used to just look at the sun and figure it out when he was in the military.
Howard said he was going to end the show doing the Mitch McConnell audio book but he thinks he'll save that. Howard asked what Robin is doing this weekend. Robin said she's sick of people asking her if she has any plans. Howard said he meant which TV shows will she be watching. Robin laughed. Howard said she has quite the television itinerary. He said her TV must be on constantly. Robin said not constantly. She said that she does eat her meals in front of the TV. Howard said that's what he'd be doing if he was single.
Robin said she has another hobby and she's watching a lot of things. Howard said he has to talk about that. Robin said not today. Howard said Robin is an FG. He said that's her hobby. He said that's the only clue he'll give.
Howard said he's not sure how Beth doesn't eat more than one meal a day. He said he has to eat constantly. He said he's not even hungry and has to eat. He said he can't wait to wake up to eat breakfast. Robin asked if he fixes all of his meals. Howard said he's a super star. Robin said if he had to make the meals he might go crazy.
Howard said Beth loves to tell the story about how they met and how he asked where he lives and he didn't know. He said he wasn't able to tell her where he lives. He said he thinks he lives on the Upper West Side and that sounded familiar so he said he thinks that's where he lives too. He said he had to ask Ronnie to tell her. He said she leaned that they live like a block apart. He said this was 21 years ago and he'd be stuck at that club if Ronnie wasn't there. He said he just thinks about radio and leaves the rest to fate.
Howard said he used to get so lost when he drove around with Robin. He said they'd leave and go to the same place and they'd get lost. Robin said they were with Steve Rossi one night and they went to the Upper West Side and they got lost even though Howard thought he knew where they were. She said they ended up in the Bronx after driving around for an hour and a half. Robin said they had to figure out how to get back home. Howard said he used to ask homeless guys if they could give directions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves the afternoon show. He said he can call in and listen live. He said he loved Steve Martin and Marty Short the other day. He said that he and Jimmy Kimmel have a bromance going on like that. He asked if he would ever work with someone like that. Howard said they'll probably go on tour and make shows together. He said Jimmy will be around next week and talk about what they did over the summer.
Howard said he wrote to Steve Martin after he did the show and thanked him for coming on. He said Steve wrote him back and said ''How dare you write me when you know how busy I am.'' He said you can't top that. He said he gave up. He said he made the mistake of writing him back and saying he could have called him and made it worse. He said you just can't top that guy.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he started watching a show called ''Heels'' with Mary McCormack. Howard said he's watching it too. He said it's about a wrestling family. Ralph said it's pretty good. Howard said he really likes it. He let Ralph go as he was about to ask a question.
Howard asked if Robin wants to talk to Bobo. Robin said sure. Howard took Bobo's call and Bobo thanked Robin for that. He said he wants to thank Howard and Sirius for that fantastic Metallica special. He said Miley is so vibrant and full of energy. Howard asked how his summer was. Bobo said it was good until he broke his pinkie playing basketball. He said that's when his nightmare started. He said they were going to do surgery on it but he found out that it was going to be an hour or more and they'd have to give him a catheter. He said he's just dealing with it now and the pain is incredible. Howard said next time just say ''fine'' when someone asks how your summer went. Howard said he's sorry to hear that. He let him go.
Howard said that didn't make any sense at all. He said he didn't get surgery because it was going to be an hour or more. He said he can't trust the doctor for an hour. He said something happened once and he wasn't able to pee. He said he knows what he's talking about with the catheter thing. He said he begged not to have that too but he had to do it. He said he'd rather wear a diaper. Robin said maybe he'll be harder to keep under since you're trained not to pee. She asked who is going to change him after the diaper gets wet.
Howard said they put the tube in while you're under and they yank it out real quick when you're awake. He said it's not that bad. He said this nurse had to take his house and he saw a look of shock on her face when she did it. Robin said he's imagining this. Howard said he knows the look when a woman sees nothing down there between your legs. He said they had shaved him down beforehand. He said it was humiliating.
Howard said he wasn't able to pee after he had that thing taken out. He said that they told him that they might have to put a catheter back in if he wasn't able to pee. He said he drank like 7 bottles of water and wasn't able to go. He said he eventually got some out.
Howard said he was so uncomfortable that he wasn't able to sleep. He said he was overloaded with water. He said it was horrible.
Howard asked if Robin ever pulled the tube out of a dude. Robin said of course. She said she pulled many out and put them in too. Howard asked if she looks at a guy's dick. Robin said she doesn't recall any guy's dick. Howard said she could be his nurse.
Howard said one more call and they're out of there. Howard took a call from a guy, Nick, who said that he appreciates the afternoon show. He said he works nights and has to listen to repeats. He said it was a real treat today with Metallica. Howard said there's nothing they won't do for their audience. Howard said they give their entire lives to the audience. He let Nick go after that.
Howard said he has to go to bed for 3 days now to recover. He took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that he got his colonoscopy. He said he has no cancer. He said the prep was so bad. Howard said it's amazing he doesn't have cancer from everything he eats. Erik said his friend Nikki stayed with him during the prep for the colonoscopy. Howard said that sounds like a nightmare. Erik said he has his own apartment and his own bathroom now. Erik said that Steve Martin is a good looking man. He said he's better looking than Anderson Cooper.
Howard said he's shocked that Erik is healthy. He said you don't expect that call. He said you'd think that he should be on horse de-wormer. He said if anyone should be on that stuff it's the guy who is the size of a horse. Erik said he loves them and he loved participating with the phone calls with Sal as well. He said he wants to be a team player. Howard said good. He thanked him for that.
Fake Steve Martin knocked on the door and asked if Erik wants to jerk off to him. Erik said he only jerks off to one guy. Howard bailed on the bit a short time later. He said that the bit wasn't going anywhere.
Howard played the call and fake Bill Cosby called into the show and talked about what he doesn't like about dirty comedians. He did material about drugging people and getting away with it. The host was laughing and his co-host didn't find it funny. The host took calls and people said that they didn't think it was funny either. The co-host said that may have been Bill Cosby and he's a disgusting creep if that's who it was.
Howard asked what's up with that guy. He said he sounds pretty out of it. He said his big thing is telling people that if they screw up he's taking them off the air for life. He said he's not sure how he can do that. He said he must be doing his show at noon because he's kind of loopy.
Howard said he's not sure what went on with Bill Cosby. He said life just goes on. He said the whole thing was weird with the judge letting him out. He said he was flashing the victory sign and he wasn't really victorious. He said his wife is still with him apparently.
Howard said that lady who was his wife on The Cosby Show is very loyal to him too. He said he hates to break it to her but they're not bringing them back to air. Robin said they are still on the air. Howard said Cosby is such a villain. He said his TV wife tweeted ''Finally'' when he got out. Howard said she deleted it like she never said it but she did. Howard said she should have said that her Cosby show royalties depend on this man so ''finally'' he's out. Howard said he thought things would get better with the #MeToo thing but things just keep getting worse. Robin said it's all about who you vote for.
Howard said it was fun to be in today with Metallica. He wrapped up and did a live commercial read before ending the show. They were done around 3:45pm.