| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard said he tried calling Robin 5 times this weekend and she didn't pick up. He said he didn't leave a message for her. He said she can track his calls. Robin said she doesn't see the calls. Howard said he called and hung up. Robin said she sees them on Friday. Howard said he's not calling anymore. He said he's out of the Robin business. Robin said if he texted she may have seen that. She said she didn't know that. Howard said it was nothing urgent. He said he wanted to hear her stories.
Howard said they have a lot coming up toady. He said it won't be a boring show. He said buckle in. He said he was thinking about Gary unfriending him on Facebook and Robin won't return his calls so he's a man alone.
Howard said he called Robin and she didn't pick up so he called Dr. Lou. He said he was out walking so he wanted to talk to someone. He said he was at the local high school walking and he got kicked off the track. He said a guy pulled up and asked if he was a teacher there. He said no and the guy told him he had to leave. He said he was in disguise so the guy didn't know who he was. He said he walks there all the time. He said someone may have reported him for looking weird. He said he was walking on his own. Robin said he should have said he was a student. Howard said when he walks with Beth no one calls about them walking. He said it only happens when he's alone. He said he told Beth he was trying to fit in with the kids and they kicked him out. He said he doesn't know what they thought but whatever. He said the guy was nice about it. He said he left when he was told he can't be there.
Robin asked if he's going to try walking there again with Beth. Howard said he's a rule follower so he won't do that. He said he's not a wild guy. He said in his personal life he's not a rule breaker. He said he could have said to the guy was that his taxes paid for that track. He said he's not like that. He said he just goes along with society. He said we have rules for a reason.
Howard said he was thinking about these schools. He said all you worried about were kids stabbing each other. He said you never thought about an active shooter. He said now you have to worry about that. He said it's scary. He said they probably saw him and thought something was up. He said he was really hot and he had his running jacket on so he probably looked like he had a bomb under his jacket.
Howard asked how many times he rehearsed that. Bobo said he didn't. He said he has other notes too. He wondered who is going to be piloting the aircraft. Howard and Fred goofed on Bobo about his question.
Howard said if he had half the money Jeff Bezos had the last place he'd go is into space. He said he can live on this planet in the best way possible. He said he has more money than most people. He said he wouldn't go anywhere. He said he'd lock himself in a room and live like a king. He said he'd have his body experience every pleasure he can. He said when you get that rich you get other idiots to go into space. Robin said all of these idiots want to go into space.
Howard said he admires Jeff Bezos very much. He said what he's done is amazing. He said he got some packages from Amazon over the weekend and it was awesome. He said they're so efficient. He said that they can get you stuff so quick and it's just great. Robin said you expect it to show up any minute after ordering it. She said they got her to complain about day later delivery. Howard said eventually they will get it to you in hours via a drone.
Howard said these guys are impressive. He said that they have done some amazing things. He said then there's the other idiots out there in this country. He said he was watching MSNBC and they had this woman on who was talking about the vaccination rates in some states. He said there was one town that was like 39 percent. He said the deaths are going up in those areas and they still don't believe it. He said the Delta variant is coming next and that's scary.
Howard said the Foo Fighters did a concert and people were protesting them over the vaccination requirement to go to the concert.
Howard said now they're offering vaccine incentives. He said this is how fucked up our country is. He said he felt like he won the lottery when he got his. He said they went out to a friend's house over the weekend. He said he was so nervous. He said he told Beth he didn't want to go but she convinced him to go. He said he's still afraid. He said he has to tell you something. He said even his daughter said this to him. He said he's not sure what his anxiety is. He said the mask wearing is not getting people sick in general. He said he hasn't been sick in a really long time. He said he was germ phobic before but now he doesn't want to breathe air around people. Robin said they do say that you build up your immunity if you're around people. She said he could be doing himself harm. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard said he loves wearing a mask. He said these months in quarantine have been great. He said he loves being left alone.
Howard said he thinks his anxiety is through the roof because of the other things that are going on. He said people have kids and they're not vaccinated. He said everything goes through his head. He said he doesn't want the fluid in his lungs and all of that. Robin said now they say that the loss of taste and smell is brain damage. She said that those areas remain damaged. Howard said he can't afford to be brain damaged. He said he's got enough. He said the Delta variant is here and shit stains here don't care about it. He said that these idiots think they're being magnetized. He said you can lose your boner if you get COVID. He said just think about that you idiots.
Howard said Governor Gavin Newsome is offering a big prize to a bunch of winners if they get vaccinated. He said many states are using things like that to get people vaccinated. He read through some of the things that they're giving away around the country.
Howard said how about just get the vaccine and you've already won. Robin said she saw a mayor somewhere walking door to door talking to families. She said they were telling people that they can get free airline tickets if they take the vaccine tomorrow. Howard said if you were truly anti-vax there's no way you could be bribed to get it.
Howard said Thursday night they were invited to dinner and he didn't want to go. He said Beth told him they have to start going out. He said he didn't care and didn't want to go. He said he wanted to make Beth happy though. He said he told her to go. He said she wanted him to go. He said Beth told him he's going and that was it. He said she told him they'd be fine. He said she asked him not to make her miserable at their home. He said he wanted her that he was going to make her miserable. He said he wasn't going to try to but he knew it was going to happen. He said his misery spreads like COVID. He said it's like a disease.
Howard said he was fine once he got there. He said Beth said he was delightful once he got there. He said he had to be that way. He said the whole time he felt like he was going to cough. He said he figured if he's going to die he's going to die laughing. He said that's what's going on.
Howard said he knew there was something up with the slip and slide thing even before this happened.
Robin said she read a story about a guy who spent 11 hours in a Waffle House. She said she read that headline and said there's no way she would go to that place. She said she didn't even need to know the story. She said the only thing with a breeding ground worse than a cruise ship is a slip and slide.
Howard said everyone ran into the port-a-potty to shit. He said he's going to throw up thinking about that. He said their men's room at Sirius had shit on the walls. He said people shit like apes. He said he thinks apes are neater. Robin said they shit like buffalo.
Howard said he was watching a video of a monkey eating with a spoon and it wasn't making a mess at all. He said it ate perfectly. He said it was neater than a human being. He said people can't shit in that hole in a bathroom and it's baffling. He said they can't aim into the bowl. He said he's not sure how that happens. Robin said a four legged animal can do that. She said it comes flying out. Howard said it's impossible to fathom how someone can be such a sloppy shitter. He said they leave it there and it's every day that it looks like that over there.
Howard said imagine the port-a-potty mess. He said they can't shit in a bathroom so imagine that. He asked if Robin has ever had to shit on a plane. Robin said once she did. Howard said he never has. He said he has flown a lot of places. He said for business. He said he doesn't fly for pleasure much. He said he likes to stay home. He said he stayed home when they were off for 2 weeks. He said he likes to be home.
Robin said that people are out doing things now and she read that a girl was attacked by a bear while sleeping out in the wild. Howard said of course.
Howard said his body knows when he has to go and he gets that shit out of him as soon as he can. He said one time he was on a private plane and they had about 12 people on it. He said one of the people took a shit. He said he took a newspaper in with him. He said then he brought it back out for other people to read. He said the shit smelled on the flight. He said he would have apologized but not this guy. He said he'd kill himself if he had to do that.
Howard said Richard is disgusting. He said he doesn't care about anyone else. He said he likes to shit because it makes him feel calm. He said some people are just nuts.
Howard asked Robin when she shat on the plane did things go wrong. Robin said the plane hadn't even taken off. She said she had a real problem going on. She said that she had to clean up after herself. Howard sake if the smell got out. Robin said she didn't smell anything. She said she tried to do everything very fast. Howard said she really is classy.
Howard said Richard wants to shit on a plane. Richard got on and said he feels better when the plane is bouncing up and down. He said he hates flying so that's why he does it. He said he would even go and sit in there because it feels better in there. He said he felt safer in there than in his seat when it was bouncing. Robin said that makes no sense at all. Richard said he didn't say it makes sense but it makes him feel better.
Howard asked how this guy works for him. He said that big dumb smile on his face. He said he's not even painting the proper picture. He said this guy gets so drunk that he can't walk on a flight. He said he's not wiping well because he's loaded.
Howard said the worst part is that Richard takes his shoes off and walks around in his socks. Richard said he has walked in puddles of urine. He said he didn't know what to do with his socks. Howard said he doesn't take off his shoes. He said it's just rude. Robin said she has been on a 12 hour flight and not taken off her shoes. Howard said Richard is a douche bag.
Richard said he and Sal have pumped off on a plane before. He said he thinks Sal did it first. He said he got the idea from him. Howard said it's Mutt and Jeff.
Richard said that Sal has brought a newspaper into the bathroom with him. Howard said you'd think you'd want to get out of there as fast as you can. He said when you bring the paper in there you know what the guy is going to do. He said that's like what his friend did on the private flight. Richard said that Sal would bring in dirty magazines into the bathroom with the paper covering them up. Howard said that's disgusting and he's a disgusting human being. He said he would have opened the door and let him fly out. He said no one would even care if he did that to him and other people flew out. Richard said even Beetlejuice wasn't that bad. He said Beetlejuice was great to fly with. He said he didn't care if the plane was bouncing up and down.
Sal said he has taken a crap on a plane. He said one time Richard sat in his seat and pissed himself and sat in his piss the whole time. Richard said he did that and he was told he wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom so he peed in his pants. Sal said someone had to sit in that piss seat after. Howard asked how long the flight was. Richard said it was like 3 hours to Florida. Howard said he sat there in his own piss. Richard said he did. Howard said both of them should be on the no fly list.
Howard asked why they jerked off on the flight. Sal said hey were bored. Howard said he never gets bored. Sal said this was before iPads and stuff. He said Richard is even more disgusting than he is. Howard asked where he finished. Sal said he jerked off into the toilet. Howard said that's so disgusting. He said no wonder his wife doesn't fuck him. He said that's gross. Sal said you just beam it down like a water pistol. Howard said that's disgusting. Sal said he sat down to do it. Richard said he stood up. Howard said that he's such a fucking hillbilly piece of shit. Sal said he and Richard used to share a bed and jerk off back to back. Howard said he's not surprised by that. He said Richard is gay and doesn't know it. He said Richard got drunk years ago and called Will and left a message for him telling him how sexy he is and he's sure he wants to see his cock. He said that's a gay man coming on to a man. Richard said Will looked good in a dress. He said that's what he had done around that time. Howard said it's so awful. He said he saw Will in that outfit and didn't call him telling him he looks good in it. Fred played the audio of Richard's message for Will where he was coming on to him as he was taking a piss on the street.
Howard said the thought was to look at his Kansan body. He said he's gay. Richard laughed. Howard said there's no question about it. Robin said he's gay like the guys in Deliverance who raped Ned Beatty. Howard said that people thought they were shooting Deliverance 2 with that call. Richard said he never took it to that level.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she works as a flight attendant and people really are disgusting. She said people go before the plane even takes off. Howard said they could go in the airport before they take off. Robin said she's amazed by people who get not he flight and go to the bathroom. Howard said they know already that they have to shit. The caller said it's disgusting and they shit right by where they work. Howard said have a heart. She said then they spray that smelly spry to get rid of it. Howard said that makes it so much worse. He said he hates that spray.
Howard said Richard is standing up and spraying and missing the toilet. He said he should go to jail. Richard laughed. Howard said it's two animals. Richard said he thinks the statute of limitations is up on that. Robin asked how Richard got the red face with the white eyes. Sal said that's where he rests his balls. Howard said he does have a bandit mask look. He asked if he went out in the sun and wore sunglasses. Richard said he did. He said he puts sunscreen on but not around his eyes. Robin said he's just red. Howard said he looks like a baby mouse. He said it's horrible. He said they're just animals. He said they remind him of these anti-vaxxers. He said they just don't care about anyone else.
The caller said that the flight attendants all know what's going on in the bathrooms. Howard said the world is their toilet. Richard said there was a pilot at JFK who recognized him and he told him not to jerk off or shit on his plane. He said he was serious too. Howard said they're animals. He said he's sorry that the caller has to put up with this.
Howard asked if they care that someone has to clean up their mess. Richard said he cleans up after himself. Robin said that they've seen his home bathroom so stop it. Richard said that's at his home. Sal said he always beams it down and puts toilet paper on the seat. Howard said he's an animal.
Howard said with his luck he'll get pregnant from these two. He said Richard is smiling over all of this. He said it's fun for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was on a plane a few years ago and he had the seat in the back by the bathroom. He said it smelled like shit the whole time. He said when he got to Aruba he said there was no way he was doing that on the way back. He said he got a call from the travel agent. He said he got the seat in the middle and figured they could stretch out. He said then this 450 pound guy came waddling down the aisle and sat by them. He said the whole way back he was taking pictures of his wife with this fat guy next to her. Howard said the guy has no idea he's disrupting anyone's life. Howard said life is just crazy. He said this is why he doesn't leave his house. He said he just goes from his kitchen to his bedroom.
Howard said Richard got in trouble for farting on a flight. Richard said it wasn't him. He said it was someone else. He said people probably thought it was him but it was someone else. He said he thought it was funny. Sal said he remembers. He said this guy would save his gas for the flight. He said it was a friend of theirs. Richard said it was someone they know. Sal said it was Jim Florentine. He said he would save up his gas and he would keep his asshole puckered. He said then he'd let it out on the plane. He said it was the most atrocious smell ever. He said Jim was letting out these nasty farts really bad and the flight attendant went to the bathroom and started spaying it with Lysol thinking it was the guy in the bathroom. He said she looked at Jim and said that some people are just disgusting. He said Jim was the one pushing them out.
Richard said he had fun on a flight with Jim and his friend Crackfinger. He said this guy had the biggest zit on his forehead. He said he popped it on the bathroom mirror. He said it was crazy. He said he vomited when he saw it on the mirror. He said that his head was bleeding when he came out. He said there was zit juice covering the mirror.
Howard said Richard once shit his pants in his office at work. Richard said he did that a few times. Sal said he would tell them when he did it. He said it was so disgusting.
Howard said Richard is such a cave man. He said he can't keep his arms at his side. He said he has to move them like a cave man. Richard said he's lucky he doesn't bite people. He said they had to get a charcoal filter in their office because the smell got so bad. Howard said they work in an office the size of a closet. He said it's really tight. Sal said Richard would bring in food that would stink up the room. He said it smelled like old chicken and shit. He said that he'd eat the old food and then he'd shit his pants. He said you should never eat food with the word ''old'' in it. He said he called it old chicken.
Howard said the guys said that Richard would leave his yogurt out over night and it would smell really bad. Richard said he would scrape the film on the top off and eat what was under it. Sal said he would leave food in the office and not refrigerate it. He said then he'd eat it. Richard said he would always ask Sal for his advice and he'd tell him to eat it. Sal said he would tell him not to eat it. Fred played a song parody for how gross Richard is. Howard said good song.
Robin said the song is too nice. She said he's much worse than that. Sal said that Richard once said that he didn't brush his teeth because they were on vacation. Howard said if he were his wife he'd never let him near the kids. He said he has such a warped sense of the world. Robin wished them all a happy father's day. Howard said those two are fathers. He asked if they tell their kids about beating off on the plane. Richard and Sal both said no.
Howard asked if Richard sent his father anything for father's day. Richard said he's sent him some cheese cake and some Taco Tico. He said their local one closed so he ordered trough the mail on their web site and sent them some beef and beans. Howard said if that came in the mail he'd throw it right out. Richard said it's been 10 years for them so they have been trying to recreate the recipe. He said they finally got the actual meat. Howard said he sent 8 pounds of meat and a gallon of the taco Tico sauce. Robin asked if they freeze the 8 pounds. Richard said they do.
Howard asked Sal if he ever bothers to see his father on father's day. Sal said he did see him yesterday. He said he got him a lotto ticket. He said that's all he wants. Richard said it was also his sister's birthday and the ticket ended up in the pile of cards. Howard asked if any new kids showed up. Sal said his two new sisters showed up. He said his two new nieces were there. He said his new half brother wasn't able to make it. Howard said it has to be so weird to find out about new family like that.
Howard said his daughter asked if he went to see his dad. He said it never even occurred to him to do that. He said his dad doesn't want to be around him. He said the best gift he can give him is to leave him alone.
Sal said that his dad told his son that he should never get married. He said he told him that right in front of his mom.
Howard played the clip and Michael called about his 88 year old father who has become intolerable to be around. Dr. Laura told him to just spend the time he can with him.
Howard said he was well behaved with her. He said he was waiting for him to call her names like he does with Gary. Howard said Michael can afford therapy so he's not sure why he's calling a show like that. Richard said it reminds him of when he would hear Wendy the Slow Adult called every radio show when he was living in Florida. He said she'd call into every show. Howard said he thought they were special but then he found out she'd call into every show down there. Richard said he thought it was the best thing ever when she called into Howard's show. He said he knew her from all of the Orlando shows she called into. Howard said she is awesome. He said she's one of the best Wack Packers ever.
Robin said she learned some much from that report about her last week. She said she was telling everyone about what she learned last week. Howard said he was wondering what parking lot she slept in last night. He said he got reports that she's up all night. He said he doesn't see the fan mail but people did write in about her. He said they were grossed out by that report. He said he thought they would have loved it.
Howard had some feedback abut he didn't have it there. Howard had Will read what he had from that day. Will read one thing but passed it on to Howard so he could read it. Howard read about how disgusted people were with that report last week.
Howard had Michael Rapaport on the phone so he picked up and asked if he calls into every show. Michael said he was driving with his wife and he was listening to Dr. Laura. He said he had to call in to see what she'd say about his issues with his father. He said she didn't let him get a word in. He said that her call screeners were arguing with him about how he was phrasing his question. He said then Dr. Laura didn't really help. He said it was Father's day yesterday and it was the same thing with his father. He said his father drives him fucking crazy. He said he should stay away from him on father's day and his birthday.
Howard said he thought that Dr. Laura's advice was good. He said that she was very arrogant though. He said she has had some issues in the past. Michael said she's so fucking rude. He said he didn't walk away with any great therapy. He said he and his wife were dying of laughter in the car.
Howard said Dr. Laura is an entertainment show. He said she did give him some good advice and just tolerate what you can and get out. He said if you can't take it then don't go. He said that he knows she's on Sirius and he'll give her a plug bur he doesn't listen.
Howard said he forgot that his old man was the General Manager of WKTU. Michael said he was. He said his big claim to fame is that they went to mellow 92 to disco 92. He said they went from the bottom of charts to the top. Howard said that radio station was right next to his father's recording studio. He said Michael's father may have known his father. He said that's insane. He said that his recording studio was right next to WKTU. He said it was on 52nd street. He said that's weird. Michael said it is. He said he was around radio and he had to go to his father's work when he was kicked out of school. He said they were still using vinyl back then. He said that's why he shuns people like Gorilla Gary.
Michael said that Booey mentioned that his wife can't sleep at night and he wonders if Gary is surprised by that and if it's been going on for decades. He said she should be frightened sleeping with a wild animal. He said she should sleep with a dart gun next to her.
Howard said Michael gives Gary no respect at all. Gary said the woman who had trouble sleeping next to Michael was his first wife. Michael said that's not true. He said that he said on the radio that his wife has trouble sleeping. He said that's because she's scared for her life. Howard said they're not going to get into this. Gary said he's a one trick Cameo pony.
Michael asked if he wants him to hook him up with some guests. Howard said they have some great guests. He said he has David Crosby coming in tomorrow. He said that Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow will be on Wednesday. Michael said they're great but they wouldn't be able to call in if they had a producer who could book guests. Howard said he doesn't want guests every day. He said he likes to have a day like today when he can just groove. He said he has plenty to get to today. He said it's good stuff.
Howard said Michael should have some compassion for Gary because he has to get a root canal. Michael said just get the jackhammers and cranes out to do the work. He said the dentist should be getting paid extra for having to open that mouth. Howard said they are getting paid extra. Howard said he has had his fun so they have to move on. Michael said they have to get a cement truck for that. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there but Michael has it in for Gary. He said they brought in a team of dentists to work on the root canal.
Michael asked if they're not going to bring up Gary if they hadn't talked about Dr. Laura. Howard said he's not sure. He let Michael go after that. Gary said air time is his heroin. He said that Michael has to call into shows to get his air time.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Gary should go to that tape every time that pussy boy calls in. She went off on Michael for about 30 seconds. She was the one who sent that tape into them. Howard said he hopes Gary is okay. Gary said the pain is excruciating and he hopes he can get an appointment today because the pain is so bad. Sal asked if he flosses. Gary said of course he does. He said he uses a Water Pik too. He said he had some sensitivity and he went for an x-ray and they fixed a crack and then it was still hurting so they said he had to get a root canal. They played a song parody about Gary's teeth and phlegm.
Howard wished Gary luck with that. He said this pain is as bad as having a stent put up his penis. Gary said this is one of those non stop things that he can't away from. He said the pain reverberates through your whole body. Howard said he was waiting for Sal to say something. Sal said he's sorry... for the dentist. Howard said he didn't disappoint with that. He said go jerk off in the bathroom now.
Howard asked Gary how bad the pain is. Gary said the stent in hold of his penis was bad. He said he learned that there's a fetish for guys who like to put things in there. He said that he got the stent for his kidney stone to get through. He said that he went to the doctor with Langford and Langford was interviewing him in the waiting room. He said people were looking at him like they were nuts. He said the doctor wouldn't let Langford in the room with him.
Gary said they attach a string to the stent so that was hanging out of his penis the whole time. He said he was in a chair and the doctor had to pull it out. He said that he flinched and the doctor told him to stay still or he'll hurt himself. He yelled at him like he was a child.
Howard said he thought that Dr. Laura had some wacky thoughts on something. He said that he's not sure why he didn't like her but he remembers that he didn't like her for some reason. He said you have to admire her for staying on radio for this long. He said the guys found something from 2000 when she said that being gay is deviant behavior. Robin said she read that she apologized for that. Howard said people do evolve. Howard said as long as you're not hurting anyone then do what you want to do.
Howard asked Benjy if he's running the marathon. Benjy said he will complete the marathon but he will probably walk it. Howard said of course. He said he won't train. Benjy said it's an accomplishment to walk it or run it. He said he has posted on the internet about it and he never said he would run the whole thing. Howard said he won't even walk it. Benjy said he will bet on it. He said he's going to do it either way. Howard said he knows Benjy and he knows he won't walk it.
Benjy said he never said he was running the marathon. Howard said the guys said that he did say that. Benjy said that he never posted that he was going to run it. Howard let him have the time to say what happened but he didn't say anything. Howard said you never get a straight answer out of this guy.
Howard said he doesn't care. He said good luck with whatever he does. Benjy said he plans on beating Robin's time. Howard said good for you. He said Benjy once said he was going to walk to L.A. when they went out there. He said he never did that. Benjy said he would love to do that.
Richard said he loved when Benjy showed up to L.A. with a spray tan. He said that was really funny.
Gary said that Benjy said he was going to participate in the marathon. He said then he said hew as just going to be in it. Benjy said he said he was going to ''run-ish'' the marathon. He said he is going to train. He said he's prepared for it. Howard said he has to get him off because he can't give a straight answer about this.
Howard asked why guys want to see girls spread their pussy. The guy mentioned that's what guys want to see on this service. Sal said that ruins it every time. He said it's very medical.
The caller said that these guys like to see her feet and stuff like that. Howard said Sal likes to see girls pee. Sal said not number 2 though. Howard said Sal used to go to the booths to jerk off. He said he'd look at the girls there.
Howard said this is a hard core behavior. He said this guy, Frank, is sharing his girlfriend with these guys. He said he'd say to her that he can't deal with that. He said it's too dark. He said he'd tell her there has to be a better way to make money. He said it's a dark path.
Frank said that's what he has said to her. He said he's trying to jump on board with her but he can't. Howard said she's what he'd call a thrill seeker. He said it's only going to escalate. He said she may end up going to dinner with a guy. Frank put his girlfriend on to talk about this.
The girlfriend got on and Howard said she sounds hot. He asked how hot she is. She said she's the sole breadwinner in the relationship. She said she's 33 years old. Howard asked what kind of money she's making. She said this is a side job but she can make $500 a night on a good night. She said she's not really spreading her pussy like Frank said. She said it's not super sexual for her. She said it's a role playing thing. She said she's not getting off on it.
Howard asked who this girl looks like that's famous. She said she looks like Winona Ryder. Howard said she must not have any cellulite. She said she weighs about 115 pounds and she's 5'6'' tall. Howard asked what cup size she has. She said she's a B-cup.
Howard asked what he should call her. She said Catherine. Howard said hi to her and tried to role play with her. Richard said he's getting turned on by Howard. Howard gave up on Catherine because she wasn't playing along very well. Howard said Richard is better at this than she is. Howard tried again with Catherine. Howard said she's hot because she sounds like she's drunk or on drugs. He said she sounds wasted.
Howard asked how Catherine would feel if Frank was online showing off his body and doing stuff with people. He said he doesn't want to share his girl with other people. He said he'd be upset with her for doing that. Howard said he doesn't put down sex workers. He said he thinks they're doing a service and that's great if that's what you want to do. He said he wouldn't want his woman doing that. He said if Frank isn't out working then he should get a job and retire her. He said he wouldn't want his woman with other dudes even if it's just on cam. He said Frank should get a fucking job. Catherine said she can say amen to that.
Howard had Catherine put Frank back on the line. He told Frank he should get a job. frank said he does help her with her little boutique and he is a musician. He said he has some work. Howard said the thing is that people are hiring right now. He said Frank should be out there making some money. He told him to play him something if he's a musician. Frank said he's a drummer. Howard said he should go out and get some money. Frank said she'd still do the cam thing even if he had a million dollars.
Howard said he doesn't want to share his woman with anyone. He said that Benjy is dark like that too. Benjy said that he's not sure if this girl still wants to fuck Frank. Robin asked they were still doing this before the pandemic. Frank said that this just started in the past month or so. He said the money is a bonus for her and she enjoys doing what she does. He said that's what she tells him when she's not on the phone. He said she's very hot and he loves her a lot. He said they're adventurous but this is a different level.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that this is a dark thing but the cam girls got him through the pandemic. Howard said he's not putting them down. He said that if he's okay with a thrill seeker then stick with her. He said that he can't do it.
Frank said they have been on and off for about 8 years and this has helped her get back to her sexuality.
Howard asked Ralph how much he's spending on cam girls. Ralph said not a lot. He said you don't have to. He said if you spend 20 bucks you get 200 tokens. He said if you tip them 20 tokens they're thrilled. He said it's great.
Howard said she claims Frank has to make some money. He said that you can go work for an airline or something. He said he has to go make some dough. He said he can't be with a cam girl. He said he wouldn't be able to deal with that. He said he's jealous. He said when you're in love you don't want to share someone. He said he'd jump out a window if Beth was sharing her body with someone else on video. Frank said that it's her body and her choice. He said he doesn't like it though. He said he loves her and he doesn't want to make it like it's the end. He said maybe it's a passing thing. He said he's trying to be supportive.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has to be on this woman's side. She said it's harmless when these girls are doing this. She said that she's not meeting the guys. Howard said for him he's more traditional. He said it feels dark to him. The caller asked what's dark about it. Howard said they're putting their body out there for guys to see. He said they're not on the same page. He said he applauds their bravery and doesn't put it down but he can't deal with it in a relationship. the caller said that the porn stars that he watches are all married or have boyfriends. Howard said he just can't deal with it. He said if Frank can then that's great.
The caller said Howard would never do anything with Beth and he can't blame him because she's gorgeous. Howard said he doesn't want to share her. He said he doesn't want disgusting guys touching her. He said that only he wants to touch her as a disguising animal.
Frank said he has issues with her talking to other guys and he doesn't know about it. He said he's got trust issues. Howard said you know she's telling guys the things she's gong to do to them. He said that's what you can't trust.
Howard said he's not going to want to go to bed thinking about his wife telling some guy about what she's going to put in her pussy. He said that she doesn't even like it when she pets the cats too long. He wants her to pet him and show him her pussy.
Howard said he hopes they were helpful. Frank said he was. Howard asked what they're going to do. Frank said they'll have to see how it plays out. He said he's getting work and that's good so they have stuff on the horizon. He said she'd still be doing it even if he has money. Howard said with his work he's not getting a million bucks. He said that's not a good sign where he is and how he has no direction in his life. He said it's almost too late.
Richard said he was a drummer and he became an electrician. Frank said Richard is a kick ass drummer. He said that he has spent time on the road with some big acts and it's trending that way again. Howard let Frank go after that.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after wrapping up with everyone.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said here's a sexy woman. He said this song gets him. He said he would web cam with her. He said he'd like to see her vagina on cam. He said he'd ask her to put her clothes back on and sing this song to him.
Howard to tomorrow David Crosby will be on. He said he's a big fan of his. He said he thinks he's incredible. He said he's got a great history. He said he has this new album out (For Free). He said he wrote it with his son and this is the son that he didn't even know about. He said the kid was given up for adoption and he later found out that his father was David Crosby. He said the two of them wrote this album together. He said he's been listening to the album and listened 3 times. He said it's a really different sound for him but it's good. He said David has to be in his 70s now and it's just good. He said there's one song on the album that he really likes. He said the song that he likes is one that David has said is the best on the album. He said he can't even play the whole song yet. He said he can only play a little bit of it. He played some of the song for Robin.
Howard said this song just hits him. He said he knows what the song is really about but he thinks that he's singing about how he won't be around forever. He said he sings about how he's not sure if he's dying or just being born. He said he thinks you just rot but he's thinking it's more. He said this song just gets him.
Howard said David's son is the guy who wrote this. He said it's crazy. He said they'll talk to him tomorrow about that. Robin said it's making her think of a lot of things. She said she knows that people are having babies and it's making her feel a weirdness. She said he didn't even know he had this child and he reached out to him and they're both musicians. Howard said it's an amazing story. He said he knows if that happened to him he'd never get a father like David Crosby.
Howard said the weird thing is that even Ronnie hates the Vegas heat. He said the guys found a great clip from 2013 when they were out there for America's Got Talent. He said this is Ronnie talking about how horrible the heat is out there. He said this is it. He played the clip where Ronnie was talking about how his sinuses got fucked up out there because of the heat. His voice was all fucked up from the dryness out there.
Howard said someone got a hold of Ronnie and convinced him that he'll be fine out there. Robin said he kept saying that it's a dry heat. She said he's saying it like it's better than being in the humidity of Florida.
Howard said he remembers how miserable he was out in Vegas. He asked Ronnie if he remembers that tape. Ronnie said he heard it. Howard said he's going to be miserable out there. Ronnie said he doesn't hate it. He said he's been there a hundred times since then and he's been fine. He said that Robin is just jumping on the band wagon. He said he's going to live his life the way he wants to. Howard said he could live another 30 years. Ronnie said he doesn't care so don't worry about it.
Howard said they say Las Vegas is warming faster than anywhere else in the country. He had a weather forecast from Vegas where they were talking about the temperatures getting up to 110 to 116 degrees. The lows were like 102 during the day.
Howard read some reports about how cars are breaking down because they're overheating. Howard said it's like 140 in the cars when you get in them. He said this isn't for Ronnie. Ronnie said okay he gets it. Howard said he's concerned for him. Ronnie said he's still going.
Howard had fake Dan Rather on the line to give a weather report about the Las Vegas weather. Dan was talking about how people were dropping like flies and he was having trouble breathing out there. Howard said Ronnie should move to the sun because it might be cooler there. Dan was talking about how he could get second degree burns if he falls on the pavement out there. Howard said this is worse than when he went to Vietnam to report. Dan said it is. Howard told him to get inside.
Howard said they say that heat related deaths are on the rise out there. He said he's not sure what Ronnie is doing. Robin said she has had heat exhaustion and it's not fun. Howard said he prays that he'll be alright. Ronnie said he'll be fine. Howard said if he does die they won't have to get him cremated. He said the sun will take care of it for them.
Howard said that was their update on Ronnie. Ronnie said some update. He said he'll save some money by cooking on the street out there.
Howard had a song parody about Ronnie melting in the Las Vegas heat. He played that for him. Howard wished him luck with that move. He said it's already 87 degrees at 6:30 in the morning. He said the high will be 109 degrees. He said you can't have a dog out there. Ronnie said the dogs are fine out there.
Howard asked if he should play the clip of him talking about Vegas again. Ronnie said he doesn't have to do that.
Howard took a call from Apples and Ronnie went off on him from the start. He said he hasn't heard from him lately. Apples said he's sorry he got him kicked off of Instagram. Ronnie told him to go fuck himself. Apples said when it gets over 120 degrees airplanes can't fly. He said they can't get off the ground. Ronnie asked what his point was. Apples said he's going to be stuck out there. Ronnie said he can't stand this guy's face or voice. He said he's a piece of shit to him. He said he hopes he melts on the sidewalk.
Robin said that some kids want to get the vaccine but parents are denying the kids from getting it.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about High Pitch Erik last week. He said people were upset with him not calling into the show. He said people were saying that he should have his Wack Pack status taken away. He said some people said that Erik should only be dealing with Wolfie or he gets no air time.
Howard said Sal called Erik after the show last week. He played a clip of Sal talking to Erik about what they will be doing with Erik. They put Wolfie on with Erik and Erik did not sound happy. Wolfie said that he thinks that he's on the Mt. Rushmore of Wack Packers. He said that he wants to just move on. He said they can build their trust and he hopes to earn Erik's trust. He asked if he will give him a chance. Erik said possibly but it will take a ''long times.''
Howard said that's where they're at with Erik. He said it's going to take a ''long times.'' He went into a live commercial read and then a break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said that song was written in Oregon. He said the guy who wrote it was feeling home sick while living in Portland. He said he hopes he has that right. He said he has that from memory. He said he's no Casey Kasem. Robin said he had notes to go off of.
Howard said he misses Casey Kasem. He said he liked the facts he read about songs. He said he'd like do a countdown that was dark. He said that his would be like this. He said the guy from Everclear was named Art and he wants to do a talk up where he talks about how he wanted to kill himself and how he wrote the song after going through those dark times. He said it would be just one dark story after another. He said there's no end to them in rock and roll.
Howard said he has a lot of things to get to but he has this six minute phony phone call he wanted to play. He said he also wanted to get to some Pride Month stuff he has. He said gay people get beaten up and killed and it's terrible. He said these preachers have gone on a rampage during pride month. He said he has a whole presentation for that. He said they're going to end on a phony phone call though.
Howard said this call is a long one. He said it even has guest stars. He said their caller Rocky Pendergast is back at it. He said he dies in every call but Cathi never gets that. He said that this might be his last appearance. He said he always calls Cathi from a wacky party. He said she doesn't seem to register that he's dying every time. He said his character came about when Steve Brandano was on the show and he talked about Largo and the parties they have there. Howard played a clip where they were talking about Largo on the show with Steve Brandano. Then Rocky Pendergast called into the show from Largo talking about all of the famous people there.
Howard said every prank call premise is more ridiculous than the next with Cathi. He said that Rocky will go back in time and Cathi doesn't think that's a big deal. He played a clip of one call where rocky went back in time to kill Hitler and Cathi just went along with it.
Howard said that call was voted the best of the year last year. He said he's not sure what's going on with Cathi that she doesn't question any of this. He said the guys weren't sure where to go with this character. He said they were at the end of their rope. He said they were going to take him to space. He said every franchise ends up in space. He said they think this is the end. He said this one is Rocky in space calling into the Cathi show. He said she may have stopped doing her show because she hasn't done one since. He said this may be the last call.
Howard said this is six and a half minutes long and they have Ice T in it. He said this is the real Ice T. Howard played the call and Cathi took Rocky's call and Rocky told Cathi that he's calling from the international space station in space. Cathi didn't know where it was. She asked what he's doing in space. Rocky told Cathi about the stars he has around him and introduced them. Rocky had voices for each person he introduced and then had Ice T say hello to Cathi. She said that voice sounds familiar. Ice T said something doesn't feel right in his stomach. He said something is eating through his chest. An alien burst out of his chest. Cathi sounded shocked. The alien started eating people so Rocky had to fight it. Cathi asked how he's going to live. Rocky fought the alien after it killed some of his guests. He said everything is being sucked out into space. Rocky thanked Cathi for being there for him. He said he's being sucked out into space himself. He said they'll always have Largo.
Cathi kept saying hello and only had dead air. She said she's not sure what happened but he's so wonderful to hear from. She said she hopes he's okay.
Howard said she wondered what happened but he got sucked into space. He said he got killed by Hitler last time. He said Zach Snyder is putting out an 8 minute version of that call next.
Howard said there you have it. He said she bought the whole thing. He said she believes all of those people died on a space station with aliens. He said she believed that an alien popped out of Ice T's chest.
Howard and Robin reviewed the call and went over some of the details they didn't understand. There were discussions about Rocky using Charro's head to get the Alien into the air lock to get it sucked into space.
Howard said there you go. He said he thinks that will be the last time they call Cathi. He said she hasn't been on the air in a long time.
Howard said he asked Dave Grohl what they were going to open with and they went with ''Times Like These.''
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks Cathi is so funny so why not have her on the show. Howard said he doesn't want to ruin the bit. He said if they make her aware that it's a phony phone call she might not fall for it. He said she may though. Howard said maybe they will track her down and talk to her if she's still around.
Howard took a call from Gonzo who said he hooked up with a trans girl last weekend. Howard asked how he found her. Gonzo said he found her on Tinder. He said she's there with him now. Howard asked if this is for real. Gonzo said it is.
Howard asked who she looked like. Gonzo said like a sluttier Megan Fox. Howard asked if he's ever had fantasies about being with a trans person. Gonzo said not at all. Howard said he has to get more information. He asked where they went on this date. Gonzo said he went to a micro brewery. Howard asked if he could detect that she was a man. Gonzo said not at all. He said she was really hot and she's tall and really sexy. He said he didn't detect anything.
Howard asked Gonzo what she was wearing. Gonzo said a short skirt and a tank top. Howard asked if she still has her cock. Gonzo said she does and most do.
Howard asked where they made out. Gonzo said they met up near his apartment and went back to his place. He said he knew she was trans. He said he was pretty sure. He said she was really tall so he could sort of tell. Howard asked if he blew her. Gonzo said he did. He said he went down on her. He said he's not gay though. He said he sucked on her clit. Howard said he thinks that he's bullshitting him. Gonzo said he's not. Howard asked if he fucked her in the ass too. Gonzo said he did. He said he hooked up like a guy and a girl. Howard said he fucked her in the ass. Gonzo said that's kind of homophobic. Howard said fucking someone in the ass is still fucking her in the ass. Gonzo said it's not considered her ass if she's trans. Howard said you can't make that rule. He said that her ass is her ass.
Howard asked to speak to this person. Gonzo said her name is Leah. He said she's too shy to talk. He said he's not bullshitting him though. Howard said he sucked her dick. Gonzo said he doesn't consider it a dick. He said it's not gay. Howard asked if she came in his mouth. Gonzo said she didn't cum. He said she's on hormones so she didn't cum. He said he came though.
Howard asked Robin if it's gay to suck on a dick. Robin said she thinks that he might not be as straight as he thinks he is. Howard said he doesn't think that he could do that. Gonzo said Howard isn't as straight as he is. Howard said if she looked like Megan Fox he might let her give him a hand job. He said he's not sure what's going on here but he has to get out of this. Gonzo said it's okay if you want to date a trans woman. He said he's sure that George Takei would agree with him.
Howard asked if he's going to date this girl. Gonzo said he is. Howard said send him a picture of them together right now. He said send it to Gary. Gonzo said he can do that. She said no pictures off to the side. Gonzo said she's very shy. He said he can send a picture. Howard said they won't put it online.
Howard asked if he'd marry her. Gonzo said he would but he'd have to tell his mom about it and she might be weird about it. Robin said this is the weirdest conversation. Howard said he has to talk to this girl Leah. Gonzo tired to put her on but she said no. Then she got on the line and Howard asked her some questions.
Howard asked if she's falling in love with Gonzo. Leah wasn't answering. Howard said he has to go. He wasn't getting anything out of her.
Howard said that was some call. He took a call from a guy who was laughing. Howard said he knows Gonzo and he doesn't think he's bullshitting. The caller said he's Gonzo Shit Face. He asked how big his clit is. He was cracking up at the call. He said he's going to die from that. He was cracking up thinking about some of the stuff Gonzo was talking about.
Howard said he likes that he was trying to teach him about trans by saying that the asshole is the vagina on a trans person. Howard said an asshole is an asshole. He said he didn't blow her, he sucked on her giant clit. Howard said he's not sure what's going on. The caller said he has to pull over. He was still cracking up.
Howard said he has to get out of there. He ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard started the show talking about what fun they're having already. He said David Crosby will be with them this morning. He said he loves that band. He said he loves David Crosby. Robin said he loves all of them.
Howard said they have a lot to get to this morning. He said he has to get to fan feedback. He said he has a lot of things. He said he wants to get to this Pride Month. He said it's stirred up the religious freaks. He said we live on a parent with other human beings and it's all just a weird thing. He said we're in the middle of space and alone in the universe and through some freakish situation life has formed. He said there's beautiful places in this country like Oregon. Robin said Idaho is too. She said there are wonders everywhere.
Howard said you live and then die and it's all over. He said that's why life is the greatest gift. He said we're all here right now and we ended up here in some freakish way. He said we take for granted every day that we're here. He said we're all balanced on a string and a prayer. He said it's crazy. He said some of us are born living the people who have the same genitalia. He said you don't know why but people speculate. He said then you have religious people who are so freaked out that they need to cling to a bunch of writings that were written thousands of years ago. He said they read it and interpret it the way they want to. He said they go berserk over this during pride month.
Howard said he sometimes lays awake at night thinking about the absurdity of the universe. He said he was reading a story about a guy who was against masks during COVID. He said someone asked him to put on a mask and he got into a fight with the guy and he pulled the other guy's mask down and spit on him. He said he was brought to the authorities and charged. He said he didn't take a plea bargain so now he got 10 years in jail. Howard said that's great to him. He said that's almost like attempted murder. Robin said he should be locked away if you can't live in a civil society. Howard said this is the kind of kookiness we live in.
Howard said his wife said they have another invitation to dinner. He said he told her it's enough. He said he went out on Friday night and he shouldn't have talked about it. He said now everyone is inviting them. He said if you knew him personally you wouldn't want him there. He said he eats and leaves. He said that's it. He said it's not delightful.
Howard said then a friend's birthday was coming up so Beth wanted to invite them over for drinks. Howard said he saw his daughter and her boyfriend. He said they saw another couple. He said he can still breathe so he's good. He said people ask why he's so frightened. He said he was reading about this former writer who died by suicide because of long term COVID symptoms. He told Robin about this woman and you should get vaccinated after hearing this story. He said you're committed if you don't. He said some anti-vaxxers say they have a great immune system. He said you could be left with these symptoms. He said this woman, Heidi Ferrer, was 50 years old. He said she got it in May of 2020. He said she had all kinds of awful symptoms and she ended up killing herself over it. He read about another person who did the same because of the long term symptoms of Coronavirus. He said it must be amazing to be so dumb not to worry about anything.
Howard said these people claim it's not real and it just the government trying to save us. He said that they say that these people died by suicide instead of ''committed suicide.''
Howard said getting back to the pride month thing these religious fucks have gone out of their mind. Robin mentioned that a NFL player cam out of the closet yesterday. Howard said that is Mary McCormack's cousin. He said he was reading some stuff she posted about that.
Howard said this is Pastor Tony Spell going on a rampage about gay people. He played a clip of the guy ranting about gay people.
Howard said he's not sure what that guy is talking about. He said he's an idiot. He said what a dumb fuck. Howard said he was put on house arrest after ignoring COVID rules in Louisiana. Robin said she wants to know who raised him because they made a mess. Robin said the parents really screwed them up.
Howard said this guy is EW Jackson who is a radio host. He said that he thinks that hate crime laws are out there to protect against homosexuals approaching straight men. He said the straight man may respond in a strong way.
Howard asked why homophobes think that gay men want to be with them. He said they don't want you. He said he'd be honored if a man was attracted to him. He said they're not attracted to him and he's upset about it.
Howard said this guy Pastor Greg Locke said he didn't like pride month. He played a clip of Locke talking about why he doesn't like pride month. He said it doesn't take a month to celebrate this. Locke said the bible teaches that pride is an abomination.
Howard said what's an abomination is taking money from people for your preaching. Robin said all she hears is hate there. She said Jesus was supposed to be all loving. Howard played more of the guy going on and on about pride month and how this is always about the children and pedophiles.
Howard said he doesn't get how you go to these sermons and listen to this shit.
Howard said this guy Milo Yiannopoulos is a gay guy who says he's not gay anymore. He said you have to hear this guy's rant. He played the clip of Milo talking about ''leaving that lifestyle'' and how dogs stopped barking at him when he left it. He said it happened almost over night. He said it sounds like the stupidest thing in the world but it happened. Howard said it does sound stupid. He said he's right about that.
Howard said True News, where Milo appeared, had a COVID outbreak and some of the crew had to be quarantined. One of the news anchors blamed Milo. Howard played a clip of this woman talking about how they were sent this outbreak because of what Milo had done in his life.
Howard said that woman is really hot but super dumb. He said they're able to put that shit on the air and still get sponsors. Robin said if they were taking it seriously she'd watch that channel. Howard said she just said that Milo came on and because he used to suck cock the devil won and got the news crew sick. He said she's really hot. He said if he was single he'd try to date her and try to fuck the stupid out of her.
Howard said what a dumb theory she had about having Milo on and the devil gave them COVID. JD said it was more about him sharing his story and Satan taking revenge on them. Howard said he's not sure he agrees with JD on that. He said he thinks she's saying that he still has the darkness in him and they're being punished for having him on. He said what JD is saying makes more sense in a way.
JD said Milo was on and sharing his story and Satan was taking revenge on them for doing this. He said Milo and Satan were one in the same at one point. Robin said this isn't any better. She said it's a stupid story.
Howard said he thinks Will got COVID because Richard licked Sal's balls. JD said that Howard is right about that woman being hot. Howard asked who she looks like. JD said she kind of looks like the chick on Saturday Night Live. He said he can't remember her name. Howard said Kate McKinnon. JD said he thinks so. Howard said he didn't see that. Howard said he thinks you could convince her that you're a great guy by just making shit up.
JD said she once called herself a flat earther. Howard said happy pride month everyone. He said we still have a long way to go. Robin said if you have to block out a month for something then you know that we have a long way to go.
Howard said Nick's dad may have had a bunch of kids too. He said he thinks he might be in competition with his dad over this. He said he asked Nick what's going on with him and he said he just loves kids. He said he's worried that he's complicating his life. He said it can become a very complex life if you do that. Robin said he won't be able to do all of his jobs if he keeps that up.
Howard said kids are expensive. He said he has 3 kids and he knows. He said he has a friend who told him he makes a good living but he has a lot of expenses with his kids. Robin said Nick has to maintain how many households. Howard said he has to move them all in under one roof.
Howard said Nick is going to have his 7th child and the 4th in less than a year. Robin said that's crazy. She said that Nick has gotten into one of those crazy head spaces. She said there's a philosophy of some people in certain communities that they should have as many kids as they can possibly have. Howard said wow. He asked if that's why he wears the turban. Robin said it's all of that stuff. She said he's been talking about all kinds of things on radio shows. She said all of this stuff seems to be from some weird, unsettled relationship to who he is. She said even the kid's names are weird. She said one of them is Zillion Aire. She said one is Powerful Queen. She said it's sounding almost like a cult thing.
Howard said Nick is almost dying sometimes so maybe this is how he's leaving his mark in case he does leave early. Robin said that you can't have a child named Zillion Aire. She said that child has to go to school. She said that child won't be a zillionaire with that name.
Howard said Nick is such a nice guy that he feels fatherly toward him. He said he knows he's on a roll right now but financially it's a lot. Robin asked if women are going to watch him and be okay with him having 5 baby mamas. Howard said he has realized that people don't care about anything. He said they'll watch anything. He said he sees that Ellen is leaving and he told her not to give a fuck if people think she's mean. He said who gives a shit. He said Johnny Carson was a fucking cunt and so mean. He said he had 3 boys with his first wife and gave her $13,000 in their divorce. He said that was to raise 3 kids. He said that he was supposedly a drunk and a real prick. He said people didn't give a shit. He said President Kennedy was a misogynist and no one cared. He said it doesn't matter. Howard said Bing Crosby beat his children. He said no one is boycotting his music.
Howard said that Nick is going to be sitting there with one of these women and she's going to have a new man who has a nice Jetski hanging there in the garage. He said that Nick is going to get the phone call about how their kid needs more money. Nick's going to have to cough up the money. He made up what that phone call could sound like.
Howard said he's getting a headache thinking about what he's going to have to go through. He had Nick on the phone with one of his baby mamas. He was making up more names for his kids too. He had Astra Zeneca and crazy names like that.
Robin said even giving your kids those outlandish names is something people do who think they need that. She said that they give their children royal names. Howard said they may have to have Nick on the show. He said he might have to get him on to explain. Robin said he'd be too busy managing his life to come on. Howard said he just had twins and he has another one on the way. He said he has two sets of twins. Howard asked about the Powerful Queen child and who that's with. Robin said that's another woman. Howard said he's the talk of show business right now. He said he got calls about Nick asking what's going on with him. Howard said he has to get him on the show.
Howard said he might need an hour per child to interview Nick. He said it'll be a 12 hour interview.
Howard said he was thinking that Nick could go on Celebrity Family Feud. He said he could have Nick vs. his own family. He said he wishes Robin's name was Powerful Queen. Robin said she would change her name legally and tell him about it.
Howard said he dos very well when he watches the show with Steve Harvey. He said he and Beth both agree they'd choke on TV.
Howard said his agent sent it over to him and he would love to do it but he can't. He said he and Beth are both dying to do it but they know it would be an embarrassment. Robin asked who they'd do it with. Howard said he'd probably take his kids. He said they're smart so they might do well. He said he wouldn't want to put his kids on TV though. He said he's low key with that. He said some people put their kids on and it's not good. He said he keeps quiet about it. He said he would probably have his radio family on. Robin said how about Beth's brothers. Howard said he's not sure if he wants to open that box. He said his sister might be upset about that. He said you can't bring a lot of people there. He said he doesn't need that going on. He said it opens a can of worms.
Chuck said that you feel like you're losing your kid but you just go with it. He said after a couple of days of processing it you're not losing your kid. He said it's hard to explain. He said it's the same person. Howard said if you sit there trying to ''fix them'' what you'll end up doing is having a kid who commits suicide. He said he's seen enough of that so you have to let the kid follow their inclination. He said what he's doing is fantastic. Robin said the parents are going through something too. She said everyone in the family is affected.
Howard said you have to let it go. Chuck said that the kid's mother isn't feeling the same way as he does. He said his daughter gets suicidal over this and his phone is always on for her now. He said that he's worried that he's going to miss a call from her and it's scary. Howard asked how old she is. Chuck said she's 23 now and she's had girlfriends all her life. She said now that she's out she's gone on a couple of dates with guys and girls. He said she's still confused about what her preference is. He said that baffles him but that's whatever is in her head.
Howard asked if the mother is making her feel bad about it. Chuck said she is. He said she's feeling like her child died and telling her that. Howard said she's a sick fuck. He asked if she calls her about that. Chuck said he hasn't spoken to her in many years. He said he saw her about 3 years ago.
Chuck said his ex isn't a good mother. He said his son doesn't talk to her anymore. He said that she didn't have a good mother herself. He said she's a trump supporter. Howard said of course she is.
Chuck said that he saw his brother go through the loss of a child and he can't imagine going through it. Howard said he has it together so it's nice to talk to someone who has half a fucking brain. He said he's so sick of people like those religious nuts. He said the trans people aren't bothering anyone.
Howard asked Chuck what he does. Chuck said he's in construction. He said he works on siding and roofing and stuff like that. Howard said it's refreshing to talk to a guy like Chuck. He let him go after that.
Howard said David Crosby will be on. He said they have so many great songs with Crosby Stills and Nash. He said you just play a little bit of their songs and you know how great the song is. He played a bunch of their songs. He said he always takes the opportunity to interview the guys from the band if he can.
Fake Arnold knocked on the door so Howard had him come in. Arnold was telling him what a fan of Crosby he is. He told Howard about his favorite songs and sang some for him. Howard said he even knows the words. Arnold was singing one that reminded him of Maria and his voice was cracking. Howard asked if he's still in love with Maria. Arnold said he was afraid that he fucked things up with that maid.
Howard asked Arnold if he would cry now if he sings that song that reminds him of Maria. Arnold said he thinks of the maid when he sings it. He said Mildred the maid didn't like Crosby Stills and Nash. Howard said he thought of him as a muscle head and didn't think that he was sensitive. Arnold said that he releases estrogen when he cries. He said when he cries he works out his eye muscles. Howard thanked him for coming on. He played the song that makes him cry. Arnold worked out his eyes with his crying. Howard played another Crosby Stills and Nash song. He let Arnold go after that.
Robin said she read about Joni Mitchell having jams at her house. She said she was reading about the people who showed up at her place to jam with her. She said it was like a great night at Largo. Howard said he has to take a break. Robin was still going on about Joni Mitchell's jam and all of the people who showed up.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said he loves this song. He said he can do that yodeling thing. He demonstrated it for everyone. He asked how that was. Robin laughed. Howard went over the history of that song with Robin.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to let them know that their show helped him come to grips with himself being gay. He said that he heard Zachary Quinto on the show and that helped. He said then yesterday that NFL player came out of the closet yesterday. He said he just wanted to thank them. He also said that he's jealous of this guy that Chris has been posting on Instagram. Howard said this guy is the guy who hooked up with Chris Wilding. The caller said he did. Howard said he didn't know that Chris was out with anyone.
Howard asked Chris if he's on the loose. Chris said he went out. He said he's double vaccinated. He said this guy he likes was coming into town. He said he had a whole clinic set up for this guy in his kitchen. He said he did a rapid test. He said he's gorgeous and he's posting pictures. Howard said he thought he kept that stuff secret. Chris said they went out and had a nice time. He said he has a great body on him.
Howard said Chris was in quarantine for a year. Chris said he hasn't fucked anyone since February of 2020. He said he did a rapid test with him and after 15 minutes the test was negative and they made out. Howard asked if he went down on the guy first. Chris said he absolutely did. He said this guy is gorgeous. Howard asked if the guy put it in his ass. Chris laughed and said he did. Howard said Max has him all wrong. He said this guy man handled the shit out of you.
Chris told Max that he can't be doing this to get back with him. Howard asked if he knew that it was his birthday today. Max said he did. He said that he sent him a text message. Chris said that's creepy too. Howard asked why Chris is letting this guy put his dick in him. Chris said he asked. He said that's all he had to do. Howard asked if he prepped for it. Chris said he did not and that was problematic. He said that you know what that means.
Chris said that the guy didn't care though. He said he laughed about it. He said he laughed when they did the rapid test too. Howard said he put his dick in his ass and doody came out. Chris said this was only the second time he was doing it. He said it feels like you're shitting. He said he didn't know how it was supposed to feel. He said he had to check to see what was going on there. He said he had to take a dump after.
Howard asked Chris what he did with his dick. Chris said he didn't know what to do because it was sensory overload. He said that the next day he knew what to do. He said that there's something about this guy. He said he's not sure if it's the accent or what. Howard said it sounds like he's man handling him. Chris said he is. He said he calls his dick his ''cocina'' and he needs that in his mouth. He said he has a big laugh too. He did an impression of that.
Howard said George Takei is knocking on the door. Fake George got on and said that he has some tips for him. He said he should tickle his tits. Howard said he wants to get back to this.
Howard asked Max if it's weird that Chris change his whole lifestyle for this guy. Max said he must have played it all wrong. Chris said that Max ghosted him. Max said he objects to that but he does feel badly about how he ended it with him.
Robin asked Chris how long he's known this Columbian. Chris said it's been a few years now. He said he thinks he's in love with the guy. Howard said if the guy stuck around after he shit on his dick he must be in love with him too.
Howard asked if he's really parading this guy around on Instagram. Fake George was talking about how turned on he was getting from this. Chris said parading around on Instagram is ridiculous. Howard said that's a huge step. He said parading him around is something. Chris said it's not going to end well. He said this guy is doing well and he can't 90 day Fiancee the guy. He said he doesn't even have citizenship there.
Howard asked Max if he has anything to say to Chris. Max said he could be a great boyfriend. He said he doesn't love him but he is really into him. He said he can make him happy. Chris said he's just into the show and he gives him access to that. George asked how long Max's cocina is. Chris said he has a nice body and a nice cocina. He said he smokes though and it's vile. Max said he quit 6 months ago. Chris said he's a nice guy. Howard said it's over then. Chris said they blew each other but it's over.
Howard asked Max why he ghosted Chris. Max said he was going through some shit and he wasn't comfortable telling him about it. He said he had quit drinking in 2017 and Chris knew that but he was going through some stuff. Howard said why not just tell him that. He said Chris would have been cool with it. He said Chris doesn't blow just any guy. He said he shared that with him. Max said he was emotionally stunted from his years of drinking and he admits he fucked up.
Howard said when he met Beth he was into her so it didn't matter what he was going through. Max said that he was still trying to figure things out. He said he's not proud of his excuses but that's what he was going through. Howard said maybe they can try another date. Chris said that he's done with him.
Howard asked fake George if he should give him another chance. George said maybe he should but he may have to stick with the Columbian. He said that he may have some spicy cocina.
Howard asked Chris if Max hadn't ghosted him would things have worked out. Chris said you never really know. He said he was a nice guy though.
Howard took a call from Chris' fake Columbian boyfriend who was asking him things about his cocina and stuff like that. He said in Columbia if he puts shit on his dick that means that they're married. Chris said that they've been married for a week then.
Howard said it's not a love match with Max and Chris. Max thanked him for having him on. Howard said just lay low and maybe chairs will blow him again in the future. He said when the Columbian goes back home maybe he'll be upset and he can comfort him. Chris said the Columbian went home and he started crying. He said he welled up himself and he realized he has feelings for this guy.
Howard said he has to tell you something. He said this Columbian sounds like a good guy. He said he got shit on his dick and laughed about it. He said that's love. He said nothing turned him off about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said hats off to Chris for having someone show up to his workplace. Chris said please don't show up at his workplace. Howard let Max go and wrapped up with Chris.
Howard said Sal and Richard have nothing better to do than call this show. Howard played the latest where Sal and Richard called this Tradio show to give out their sales even though they had emailed the show about it. Sal and Richard called in with their stuff and texted the show as well so the host was banning them from texting. Sal called in talking about how he had a paddle to hit these people with if they break the rules. Then he broke the rules himself and paddled himself.
Howard asked who is calling into that shit. He asked who cares if they text and call. He said he's not sure why the host even gives a damn. He asked who is listening that closely. Robin said they can't enforce the rules. Howard said he guy got so upset that his chipped his tooth on the microphone.
Howard said they have a note on the Tradio web site about making prank calls to the show and they say if you do that you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Robin asked what that full extent is. Howard said he knows people sometimes kill people and don't go to jail so he's not sure what they're talking about.
Howard read some feedback about the Las Vegas heat that they talked about with Ronnie. Someone said that Ronnie should stay with someone out there for a month just to find out what it's like to live out there.
Howard said someone wrote in about getting some advice from Ronnie about shaving himself down in his private area. Howard asked Ronnie if he has any advice for this guy about shaving his balls. Ronnie got on and said that you have to lather up down there with some shaving cream.
Ronnie said he shaves with a razor down there. He said he's in the shower when he does it so it's all clean. Howard said he doesn't clean his asshole hair. He said he could care less.
Howard said he's not sure why Ronnie is so upset. Ronnie said he's not upset. Howard asked it's because of the heat talk. Ronnie said he's only reading the negative stuff. He said he gets the other stuff in his email.
Howard asked if he lathers up and uses an electric razor. Ronnie said it's not electric. He said it's just a razor. He said if you lather up it comes out cleaner. Howard asked if Stephanie has ever shaved him. Ronnie said she has not.
Howard wrapped up and went to break after doing a live commercial read.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and sang ''Rain'' and said he's glad that David Crosby is with them this morning. He said he was recently watching David and he loves this man so much. David said it's good to see him. Howard said he was playing ''Rain'' and he was watching this show that David did with Rolling Stone. He said he told them that the Beatles are better than the Rolling Stones. Howard said they were also first and they could all play instruments and sing. He said he was right. He said it's the Beatles. He said he loves the Stones but it's the Beatles. David said it doesn't have to be a competition. He said they're so different. He said they're going for a different thing. He said it's mostly because of the song writing. He said they did a lot of song writing and stuff. He said he loves the Stones too though.
Howard said David pointed out that the downer was that rather than being collaborative the guys in the band were competitive. He said that got in the way. He said he can't wrap his brain around that. David said you end up at war when you're competitive. He said they had both. David said the collaborative is what succeeded. He said that they did make beautiful songs. He said fighting with each other and arguing and all of that was because they're all flawed human beings. He said that his picture of CSNY is very good if he looks at that.
Howard said he loved the 50th anniversary of Deja Vu. He said the behind the scenes stuff is great. He said he loves the demo of ''Almost Cut My Hair.'' He said it was a different song when he did the demo. He said they changed it and what a beautiful collaboration that was. He said that was one of the most perfect albums ever.
David said he would do that repeatedly. He said Stephen was great with that. He said he would go to him with that stuff all the time. He said he swings and hits it every time with the guitar. Howard said this is David's original concept. He said this is what he's talking about. Howard played the demo of ''Almost Cut My Hair'' and asked where he recorded that. David said it was in some studio. He said he has a lot of those kinds of tapes.
Howard asked if he wrote down his songs. David said that he never did until Joni Mitchell told him to. He said he told him that story. Howard said he did. David said if he gets 4 words in a row he'll write them down.
David said that he has done 5 albums in 6 years and he's not sure how he did that. He said he's doing it more than young people are doing it. He said part of that is because he's writing with other people. He said he wrote a great one with this new album. He said the best song is this song ''I Won't Stay For Long'' and told Howard to call him after he hears it. Howard said he actually did hear it and it stopped him in his tracks every time he heard it.
Howard said he thought the song was about him but his son wrote it. He said he thinks he's singing about the end of life. David said that he is nearing the end of his life. He said you don't know how much time you have left. He said it's what you do with the time that you do have. He said he's trying to spend it well. He said he's doing it with music. He said that he thinks the world needs music and he can still make good music. He said he thinks the human race needs music.
Howard asked how his health is. David said surprisingly good. He said nothing is broken yet. He said that he is losing his ability to play guitar though. He said he has tendonitis in both hands. Howard asked what happens when you play. David said that your fingers stop being able to move all the way. He said they have trouble picking. He said that's what he does. He said he has another year or so of being able to play. He said he could teach someone to play his parts. He said he may not play anymore. Howard said he thinks that with him it's about being a story teller. He said it's not about his guitar prowess. He said it's his whole vibe. He said he has to keep going on. He said it would kill him if he stopped making music.
David said he's so glad that Howard likes this record. Howard said he loves his voice on it. He said he thought there was some trickery in it because he sounds younger. He said it was like when Dylan switched it up with ''Lay Lady Lay.''
Howard said you have to hear some of this album. He said it sounds like the words of a man who is contemplating the end of life. David said it makes him want to cry when he hears it. Howard said same with him. He played the song ''I Won't Stay For Long.'' He let that play for a minute.
Howard said this is killing him. He said he's kind of crying. David said that his son has matured as a writer as much as he has. He said he's so proud of him. He said he keeps growing and learning more and it's the most wonderful thing.
Howard said he doesn't want to lose David. He said he admires him so much. He said it's unbearable to hear the song. David said people get old and die. He said in the meantime he's going to have a bunch of fun. He said he's going to make more music because he loves doing it. He said he knows he's supposed to shuffle off but he's not going to do that. He said he has two more records planned.
Howard said he can't wrap his head around this but he thinks that David is a true hippy. He said he worries too much. He said he had Drew Barrymore on recently and every time she's on he asks her about her life at 14 when she emancipated herself from her parents. He said she got out of rehab and went to live with David Crosby for months. Howard said she was just 14 years old. He said that he sort of became her father.
David said they knew Drew from being in recovery. He said that they were sober at the time. He said she was in the facility that was run by a friend of theirs. He said her insurance was going to run out and she needed a safe place to go and it couldn't be with her parents. David said they talked about it and said she could stay with them for a while. He said they took her in and took her to school in the morning. He said they were kind and loving and it felt good to do. He said you try to do stuff and you're not sure how it will work out but that worked out. He said she is a nice person now.
Howard said there's a not of narcissism in all of us but to put yourself out there like that is something. He said most people wouldn't do that. Howard how things worked at the house with her. David said that was him in recovery so he was going to bed at 10 and behaving himself. He said he was very concerned with sobriety at the time. He said his hard drug use stopped and now he's a pot head again but back then he was completely straight. He said he was going to meetings and behaving himself.
Howard said he has to explain the weed thing to him because he got nervous reading about that. He said he never was a big drug guy. David said that he wouldn't do cocaine. He said if you put it in front of him now he'd run through the wall. He said he's been sober from hard drugs for more than 30 years and there's no going back. Howard said they say that addicts are addicts though. David said he's one of the only ones who beat it. He said he knows what he's doing. He said that he'll tell him a secret. He said that when addicts get sober they have dreams about going back to it. He said you have the dreams and you wake up shaking. He said you think you've blown it. He said then you realize it was in a dream. He said when those dreams stop, which it took 10 years to stop for him, he gave it another 4 years to smoke pot. He said when the dreams stop it's no longer snapping at your heels.
Howard said he can't imagine a man in his position going to prison. He said he can't imagine what that was like to be in prison for a year. David said it was hard but it got him sober. Howard asked what it was like to be in real prison. He asked if he got into fights. David said there was a little bit of that. He said he made friends with some big nasty guys so they didn't want to kill him. He said he was able to survive. He said he worked in a mattress factory. He said they were some of the worst in history. Howard asked what that was like. David said he did some hard stuff in his life and he's still there. He said his family is still there too. He said the best thing with this COVID thing is that he got much closer to his family. He said that it's a wonderful thing. Howard said he can't imagine him trying to get through all of that. David said he is proud of it. He said he did survive and he's making music. He said that's what he's supposed to be doing.
Howard asked if he stays in touch with his cell mate. David said he does not. Howard said he wishes he could have been his cell mate. David said they would have talked a lot.
Howard asked if David wrote music in prison. David said he did. He said there were some instruments there. He said he was able to play with them at times. He said he wrote the song ''Compass'' in prison. He said he realized he was going to be able to write songs so it was such a lift for him. Howard played the song ''Compass.'' He asked if it brings him back to that time. David said it brings him back to the studio where he recorded it. He said he likes his voice in that. Howard said he does too.
Howard said he thinks he still sounds good. David said they have done good things with it in the studio on the past few albums. He said there are some people who don't have good voices anymore. He said he doesn't know why his is as good as it is. He said he did everything wrong. He said here he is though. He said he can be happy that he can still sing. He said he can use it for good purpose. He said he has this one coming out and two more he's writing songs for. He said one with each band.
Howard asked David about what's going on with Stills, Nash and Young. He said you'd think it would be time to let it go. David said he does talk to Stephen. He said that Neil has a legitimate beef with him. He said he dissed his girlfriend so he's not upset about that. He said he did apologize for it. He said that he did that on Howard's show. He said Nash thinks that he's everything wrong since the Korean war. He said whatever makes him happy. He said Still he has hero worship for. He said that he was the best singer and guitar player. He said that everything swings with him every time he plays guitar. Howard said he did a song called ''Black Queen'' and the guitar work on that was amazing. David said he's quite a talent. He said he has no beef with any of them. He said he wants them to be happy. He said he is surprised that they're not putting out music. He said whatever, he hopes they're happy.
Howard said he feels like they're almost brothers. David said he did too. He said he's in two bands now and he doesn't want the drama. He said it's all a pain in the butt and you don't make music with that.
Howard said he thinks that Paul McCartney was in love with John Lennon. He said he would say the same about David, Stephen and Graham. He said that as we're getting older it would be really sad if one of them went and there wasn't some sort of reconciliation. David said he doesn't see it in the cards. He said his head is in what he's doing today. He said he loves it. Howard said he loves it too. David said that he's done all that he can do. He said he doesn't concern himself with them these days. He said he doesn't care and doesn't think about it. Howard said that's healthy. He said if he was hung up on it he might not be able to make music.
Howard said he just wishes there was something there. David said it's not going to happen so he just goes on with his life. Howard said if Graham died would he be able to go to his funeral. David said he's not sure. He said he blew it pretty badly with him. He said he's said some awful stuff about him. He said he doesn't know but he's not worried about it. He said he doesn't think about it. He said he thinks about Stephen often but not Neil or Graham. He said he doesn't need them for money or art. He said he's making his own art and he's fine with that. He said he doesn't see the value of going over it again and again. He said he just wishes that they are happy. He said that he did harm to the group by being a junkie. He said that he has apologized for that over and over. He said they all hurt each other. He said Neil hurt the guys when he left Stephen in the middle of a tour. He said they did a lot of bad stuff to each other and he knows about all of it. He said he won't tell Howard all of it but it's history. He said he won't get stuck in history. He said he has stuff to do today. Howard said he happens to agree with him. He said he's a huge Neil Young fan but when he left the band that was pretty wrong.
David said he's happy that Howard likes this album. He said he knows how much he likes music. Howard said he really does. He said music has really changed. He said that there was a swing in the 90s with Eddie Vedder and Dave Grohl. He said that today there's not a lot of that. He said he's not feeling the connection to it. He said he's an old guy so maybe that's what it is.
Howard said he saw that he got to work with Donald Fagen from Steely Dan. David said he was asked to do ''Home at Last'' with the guys. He said he had covered it before. He said that he said no but he'd sing the chorus. He said Donald asked if he had to learn Wooden Ships for him. He said at 1 in the morning that night he got a text saying that ''Wooden Ships'' was a really good song. He said that Donald said that he and the guys would learn the song. He said he thought he was fucking with him. He said he went to the event and did the song with them and the audience went bat shit crazy. He said it was so much fun that they did it the next night. He said Donald opened up to him and he was really sweet. He said he kept bugging him to do something with him. He said that he loves Steely Dan. He said that he sent them a set of words and it was ''Rodriguez For a Night'' that's on the new album. Howard played some of the song.
Howard asked what the motivation is now to do music. David said it's not for the money. He said that streaming isn't worth it. He said that it's not paying the artists. He said it's making it impossible for young people to get it going. He said it's crippling the new young writers who are trying to come up. He said there are some really good ones trying to come up. He said it's just not fair.
Howard said he remembers going to see that documentary with him. He said he saw him in the theater. He said he was afraid that he was going to lose his house. David said he wasn't able to go out and work during COVID so he sold off his catalog to Irving Azoff. He said that he was able to pay off his house and his wife was very happy about that. Howard asked how he was able to keep his whole catalog all these years. David said he wound up with it and it did solve some problems. He said that he's trying to have another career now.
Howard said David does this thing where he gives advice. He said the advice seems solid to him. He said he admits he fucked up in his life a lot but he gives this advice. Howard said getting back to the financial thing he held on to his publishing his whole career until now. David said you don't want to sell it but he didn't have a choice. He said it was worth about 19 times what he was making in a year. He said it was a huge amount of money so he couldn't resist it. He said he was broke and needed it. He said he's very thankful to Irving and his partner for doing that. Howard said it makes sense to do it now. David said a lot of people are doing it now. He said some of them aren't public about it but it's there. Howard said Bob Dylan got like 400 million for his. David said he did have a couple of hits.
Howard asked if it was tough emotionally to sell it off. David said it was tough but his family matters to him so he was able to take care of them. Howard asked if he asked Irving to do anything like not put his music in a commercial. David said he can't do that but Irving is a friend so he can ask him not to do that. He said he has to approve the use of his name but he's not really worried about it. He said he thinks they'll try to increase the take and that may happen anyway. He said there's a huge documentary about CSN. He said they're producing another documentary that will be directed by Robert Zemeckis. He said that he's going to be part of it. He said the other guys will have to do it. He said there's like 10,000 hours of footage. He said he'll do interviews for it. He said he had a talk with the director and Zemeckis is a very smart guy. He said he thinks that he understands the lay of the land. He said he will help them every way that he can. He said he really does like it and he's glad it's in the hands of people that are that talented.
Howard asked about the 50th anniversary of Deja Vu and if they asked him about it. David said they did and he was pleased with it.
Howard said he's thinking about the phase of his life where he discovered Joni Mitchell. He said that it's like a real life ''A Star Is Born.'' He said think about that. He said he was a well established rock star and he got her a recording contract and helped her out. He said it really is like the movie. David said he thinks Joni was so talented that it would have happened anyway. David said he didn't have a choice in it. He said she was so good. He said her songs were significant. He said she is arguably the best singer songwriter of their time. He said she's 10 times the musician that Bob Dylan is. He said she's much better as a musician and singer. He said he doesn't get along with her that well these days but he does love her.
Howard said he's not a big Dylan fan. He said his songs are tedious to him. David said he writes great words though. He said he's a great poet.
Howard said he's sad that he's not close to Joni. David said it's not just him. He said she doesn't get along with a lot of her ex's. Howard said she dated Graham too. David said he was glad that she dated him. He said that he was great for her. He said that Graham was the best of them for her. He said she was the happiest with him.
Howard asked if it was tough to have someone so talented in your life. David said it was. He said imagine you write a song and play it for her and then she plays 3 songs that are even better. He said that she's an incredible artist. He said he was glad he had the time he did with her.
Howard said he thinks about the Laurel Canyon thing. He said the documentary he saw was amazing. David said that the reality was even better. He said documentaries aren't all that great usually. He said they don't show what really happened.
Howard said he loved hearing about bringing Neil Young into the band and how they were thinking about bringing Jimi Hendrix in. He said that would have been amazing. David said that Jimi wouldn't have done it. He said he knew what he was. He said they thought about John Sebastian too. He said they thought about a couple of different bass players and tried out a few. He said they lucked out and made some wonderful music. He said he's thinking about today and tomorrow though.
Howard said what about the title ''For Free'' and what that's about. David said he recorded Joni's song for the third time because he loves this song. He said he fucking loves it. He said he fell for this girl Sarah Jarosz because she has some great music. He said that she has a great album called ''Life on the Ground'' and he asked her to cover ''For Free'' with him. He said he wanted to stick his finger in the eye of the streamers by doing this.
Howard said the craziest story he heard was about Joni Mitchell breaking up with him and she wrote this song about him that told him she was breaking up with him. David said everyone was at Peter Tork's house and she came in and sang it once and it was a goodbye to him. He said she didn't just sing it once, she sang it again. He said it was to make sure he got it if he didn't get it the first time.
Howard asked who was in the room watching that. David said it was everyone. He said there were like 20 of them in the room. Howard said it was this song. He played some of the song ''That Song About The Midway.'' David was laughing about that. He said it was a definite break up. Howard said that would be his luck having someone break up with him through a song.
Howard said what a life David has lived. He said it's unbelievable. David said it has been but he's still there and making music. Robin said he looks good. David said he's very happy. He said nothing is broken and his relationship with his family is wonderful.
Howard said that David found out that this son who he wrote this album with was a kid that he didn't know. David said that he was put up for adoption and he knew about him. He said he was worried for him and did think about him. He said when he was in UCLA getting his liver transplant he got a letter from his son's parents who raised him. He said his name is James. He said that those meetings can go very badly when you meet the chid. He said that James gave him a clean slate and it's been wonderful. He said the odd thing is that James is the adult and he's the kid. He said there was a rumor that he was going to grow up but James is the adult in the relationship. Howard asked what that means. David said he has never grown up. Howard said he has though. He said he got off drugs and he's enjoying life. He said there has been tremendous growth there. He said he's not being irresponsible. David said nah. Howard said he knows his son was uptight about reaching out to him but he hasn't looking for money. David said he's such a good writer too. Howard asked what the odds are that he would be a musician. He said it must be in the blood. David said it is.
Howard played the single ''River Rise'' from the new album. He said they must still have singles. David said not really.
Howard said that was with Michael McDonald. He asked what it's like to harmonize with a guy like that. David said that he has said for years that Michael and Stevie Wonder are some of the best male singers in the United States. He said that Michael is his buddy and they go out to dinner together. He said that he's a wonderful cat. He said he's a family guy and a really nice cat. He said singing with him is great. He said he doesn't think anyone can touch the guy. He said it was really nice of him to do the song.
Howard asked if you can direct him at all. David said not really. He said Michael already knows. Howard said he's a tremendous talent.
Howard said he has worked with a lot of good people on his solo material. He said he worked with Jerry Garcia. David said Phil Collins too. He said he's gotten to work with a lot of talented people. He said that he's very lucky.
David said that he worked on that album after his girlfriend died in a car accident. He said people came in to make music with him and that saved his life. He said that music and friendship really saved his life. Howard said losing your girlfriend like that has to be tough. He said they're coming up on the 50th anniversary of that album so they might do something special with that.
Howard said David is doing this advice thing and he told people not to get a pre-nup. He asked if he still thinks that's a good idea. David said yes because if you can't trust someone then you can't really love them. He said that you can't work together if you have that in your relationship. Howard said he has given some other good advice. He read through some advice he's given about going down on women and things like that.
Howard said David talked about impotence and how it's not the end of sex. David said that's coming from an 80 year old man. Howard asked if you can use some kind of Viagra or something. David said that stuff is like being on speed. He said he's not worried about that. He said he's okay with the situation. Howard said his moustache must have some stories to tell. David said it has many tales to tell.
Howard asked David if he ever has a jam session and doesn't record it and regrets it. David said there were some times that he regrets not recording. He said he was with Stills and Hendrix on the beach and he wishes that was recorded. He said they were smoking pot, fooling with girls and playing music. Howard said you always do your best in front of girls. David asked why they play music. He said when the good stuff was happening they usually had something running. He said they used to have a two track running all the time in the studio. He said they did that to have reference. Howard asked where all of that is. David said they're not putting that out. He said there's a lot of wasted time there.
Howard said he wanted to stick up for David. He said he said he was never a big fan of Hendrix lighting his guitar on fire. He said he didn't get it either. He said then Phoebe Bridgers smashed her guitar but there was no reason for it. He said you need a reason for it. He said there should be something behind it. David said it's just show biz. He said it's just getting attention. He said it's what you do if you don't have a song. He said Hendrix did have songs but he knew that the Who were going to destroy their instruments and he wanted to get attention. He said burning the guitar was brilliant but that was all about getting attention. He said he doesn't approve of doing it at all. He said he didn't agree with The Who doing it or anyone else. He said there's no reason for it.
Howard said congratulations on the new album. He said the album For Free is really good. David said that Joan Baez painted the cover. He said that they're friends so he asked if he could use it. Howard asked if she still has her voice. David said she does. He said she painted that last year. Howard asked if they were ever lovers. David said nope. Howard asked how she got away. David said he would have if he could have. Howard asked if she charged for the painting. David said absolutely. Howard said he could never charge. He said if he asked him for one he wouldn't charge him. David said he thinks he would.
Howard said his prediction is that he, Stills and Nash will have a reunion. He said that they did play years ago but they can't go out that way because it didn't sound that great. He said he's not sure if Young would show up but the three of the will get together. He said he thinks Graham will come around. He said he'll call him to get that going. David said go ahead. He asked what harm that could do. Howard said none. He said it's all about peace and love. David said that would be a wonderful thing to do. He said that shows that Howard is a compassionate man.
Howard said he thanks David for not cutting his hair. He said they're holding on to a piece of history. David said he likes hair. He said he enjoys it. Howard said it's a look. David told Howard to take care of himself. Howard said he hates that he had to get him up so early. David said he wishes they could do it more often. He said he's grateful for him setting it up. Howard said he's one of his heroes so he's happy to do it and he wishes him health and more music. He said he'll take care of the rest of it. David said have fun. He wished him luck and said be well. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard gave David another plug for the album and said he's really going to work on getting those guys back together. He said he loves that band. He said he's going to remind them of their greatness. Robin said that's the thing that's keeping them apart. Howard said he has an idea and he will call the other two. Robins said Stephen isn't the problem apparently. Howard said he will tell Graham what to do and he'll listen to him. He said if it works he insists on being put into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He said he loves that band so much. He said he played a lot of them when he started out in the business.
Howard said he loves the show This is Us and it just went away. Gary said it wrapped for the season. Howard said that's right, he saw that.
Howard said that Aisha Tyler was brought into Friends in season 9 and 10. He said that she was in a separate building though. Gary said he watches the show all the time. He said that she was dating David Schwimmer's character and then she dated Joey. Howard said that Rachel never would have dated David Schwimmer's character. He said he'll bring that up tomorrow. He said that those three ladies were so hot. He said they had perfect bodies and always had boy trouble. He asked who believes that. Robin said that women have boy trouble. She said she can name 50 billion beautiful women who are alone. Robin said Charlize Theron is one. Howard said that's true. He said maybe that's by choice.
Howard asked if he was single would he have been able to date Charlize. Gary said he thinks so absolutely. Howard said he doesn't think she'd give him 2 seconds of her time. Robin said she doesn't have a vibe either way. Howard asked Gary to call her and ask if she would have had sex with him.
Gary went over why Ross and Rachel got together on the show at first. He said he's not sure why it went on for 10 years on the show though. Howard said in real life Ross would have taken Rachel and chained her to a wall.
Howard asked Gary about where Friends is. Gary watches on TBS. Howard said he thought it was on Netflix. Gary said it's all over the place.
Howard said he was going to start watching from the first episode. He said he forgot that Joey dated Rachel. He said they never consummated. Gary said it was because she was a ''good girl.'' Howard said it didn't make sense that she'd date him either.
Jon Hein got on and said that friends is on HBOMax. He said that's why the reunion is on there. He said that HBO and time Warner got the streaming rights to it and that's why it's not on Peacock. Howard said you'd think they'd know to hold on to that show. He said it must generate a lot of traffic. He said it's a bit of a stumble like Gary would say.
Howard said that the girls on the show should have been able to date anyone. Jon said that there are a lot of questions about that show. He said there's a lot of inconsistencies. Howard said their couch was always open. Robin said they're looking too hard now.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that when he interviewed Charlize Theron there was something there. She said that she thinks she had something for Howard. Howard said you just have to tell them that you light up the screen. He said that's what it takes. He said he'd tell her that every day if he was her boyfriend. The caller said Howard was very romantic with her in that interview. Howard said you're damn right he was. He said maybe he'll go beat off.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he loves Friends and he buys that relationship with Rachel and Ross. He said it's like she falls in love with him and he was in love with her. He said he knows he's out of his league. Ralph said Jennifer is too hot for anyone. He said Ross wasn't a bad looking guy either.
Howard said they all wore tight clothing on that show. He said he has to ask them about that tomorrow. He said he has to ask about who dressed them and if they ever got upset about what they had to wear. He said Jennifer appeared to be braless in many episodes. Ralph said there was one episode where Jennifer was in a Princess Leia outfit. Howard said Robin should do that for him. Robin said she could care less about his fantasies.
Gary said to believe that Courteney Cox was ever fat was hard to believe. Ralph said that she does great with the Fat Monica character. Howard said there's not an ounce of cellulite on that body. He said there's nothing to make you think she was ever fat. He said in reality you've seen former fatties who look great but things fall apart in a bikini.
Ralph said they made Courteney really fat in that show. Howard said if she was ever that fat there's no way she would have looked as good as she did. He said she had no loose skin at all.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said there's only one pot and it's Howard and Beth. She said they're amazing as a couple. She said forget Charlize Theron. Howard said he has his prize of Beth and he's not looking for anyone. He said he's just wondering if he could have had her in an alternate universe. Mariann said that everyone wants him. Howard said he told his psychiatrist that and he told him he was nuts.
Mariann said that imagine that she and Howard hooked up. Howard said he would have rocked her world. Mariann mentioned this Helen tote that's still available. Howard said enough of that. He said that's all for charity. He let her go after that.
Robin asked about the 50th anniversary of Deja Vu. Howard said that came out already. He said that's worth listening to. He said there's a documentary coming out and that's what David was talking about.
Howard had fake Arnold back on to talk about how great the David Crosby interview was. He said they have that lost son thing in common. He said it's kismet. He said their lives are intertwined. Howard said he's glad he liked that interview. Arnold sang some more for Howard. Howard said his voice is amazing and he didn't know he sang. Howard had him sing some more.
Howard said he thinks they're done. He got in more plugs for David's album and wrapped up. He ended the show around 10:55am.
Howard started the show talking about his opening song with Rob Zombie. He said he loves that guy. He said that song is energetic. He said he's been working on a song and he was up last night working on it. He said he's trying to get back into the music thing. He said he wrote about what he knows best which is Bang O'clock. He said the song is titled Bang O'clock. He said he has a rough track already. He said he will probably win a Grammy for it. He said he came up with the words first. He said the song refers to what he and his wife call it when they have sex.
Howard said that's a recent thing. Robin said she thought he had a song not too long ago by the same name. Howard said this song will be bigger. He said like David Crosby he's trying to be in the present. He said he loved yesterday hearing about David in prison. He said he could have talked about that for 7 hours. He said he thinks about Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein in prison now and what they must be going through. He said David Crosby was in prison when he was in the biggest band around. He said he talked about it yesterday. Robin said he hooked up with some bigger guys to keep him safe. Howard said you can see it really upsets the guy when you bring it up. Robin said she thinks about the show Oz on HBO. Howard said he wants to know what Bill Cosby's day is like in prison.
Howard said David was talking about how he kept to himself. He said he had to shave off his moustache in there. He said he loves that thing so that must have hurt. He said he was in prison for a full year. He said he knows guys who go in and get really fucked up in prison. He said that's not an easy thing to do. He said it's a year of your life. Robin said there were people who were locked up in their homes for a year and they weren't able to take it.
Howard said he'd rather be in solitary confinement. He said he doesn't think he'd want to be with other prisoners. He said David had a drug problem so he didn't want to be in there with a guy who was in for armed robbery. He said meanwhile David is going to be 80 in August. Robin said she was like ''wow!'' when she heard that.
Howard said he went to see this documentary that David did a few years ago. He said David asked him to come see it. He said that he told him it wasn't like any other documentary. He said he went to see it and David came in and they were talking about his health problems. He said that was really depressing. He said it was a few things like diabetes, liver failure and something else. He said it was some heart thing. He said he was sitting in front of him with his wife. He said he was watching the back of his head. He said his head was starting to drift. He said he may have nodded off. He said he told his wife he thinks David just died. He said he was being influenced by the movie. He thought that his death was imminent. He said he leaned over to check if he was breathing. He said Beth went to get the defibrillator. He said that David was fine though so he didn't need to check on him. He said it was a goodbye movie and it was really depressing.
Howard said David said yesterday that he's fine with money now that he sold his catalog of music. He said he was shocked to hear that. Robin said a lot of people are doing that so they can get the money. Howard said it makes sense. Robin said she found a list of people who have done it and Richie Sambora and The Killers have done it. She said Bob Dylan too. She said that they have sold off their publishing. She said Chrissy Hynde and the guy from the Eurythmics too. She said a lot of interesting people have don it. She said Stevie Nicks and most of Fleetwood Mac have done it. Howard said Stevie must have made a ton of money doing that.
Howard said he read that David got maybe 100 to 200 million for that catalog. He said Stevie Nicks reportedly got 100 million. He said he's not sure how that all works but these guys know how to work it. He said they buy the catalog and make money with it.
Howard read some feedback about David being on the show yesterday. He said people enjoyed the interview. He said that people were loving the music too.
Robin said that David was also talking about how you have to make every moment count in your life. Howard said he was talking to him about going to Graham Nash's funeral and he got the idea that he wouldn't. Robin said it sounds like he was very upset with Graham. Howard said that's sad.
Howard said yesterday they had Ronnie on giving advice to a guy about shaving his balls. He said that people were surprised that he's still so sexual. He said Ronnie doesn't have any conditions so his dick still works. He said he's fucking a few times a week. He said Ronnie's dick works so well that he could go every day. He said he's not sure he could do that.
Howard said if Ronnie hadn't met him he would have died a married man 7 years ago. He said he kept him going. He said he knew it was trouble when Ronnie, his limo driver, would get another driver to take them to the strip clubs. He said he didn't know he'd work it into a whole thing. He said he was working at the strip clubs. Robin said that was his Cheers. Howard said they told the girls at the club that he was an owner of the club. Ronnie said he had business cards that said he was a special consultant. Howard said he put in his 10,000 hours of those strip clubs. He said that Lonnie ran the club but Ronnie got into it.
Howard got upset with Fred when he played a clip that he thought was off the air. Howard asked what happened there. Fred said that the computer is in the back and he thought he was off the air. Fred said the computer he's using is way back there and he has to go way back there to find it. He said the problem he has is that his pots are down low. Howard said he should get together with the engineers. Fred said that's in the works but he's not in control of that. He said the studio is in the process of being designed. Howard said just move the computer. Fred said there's no room. He said he knew Howard would get upset. Howard said of course he would. Ronnie said he's stealing his air time. Fred said he's sorry.
Howard said Ronnie started hanging out with Lonnie and that was crazy. Robin said it was like Lonnie was tutoring him. Howard said he took him under his wing and Ronnie would tell him he was at Lonnie's apartment. He said the girls would come over to his apartment. He said that was trouble. He said he was hanging out after hours with the girls. He said it was Lonnie and Ronnie. He said it got harder and harder to get Ronnie to drive him. He said he was only driving him in the morning. He said he was always busy with the strip clubs.
Howard said he used to be the guy who had the parties at Scores. He said then it was Ronnie and he wasn't even invited. He said he stopped going to Scores. He said he grew out of that when he got together with Beth. He said Ronnie became Scores Man. He said next thing he knew the staff was asking him to set up bachelor parties. He said then he was in charge of the funny money. He said then he's in charge of Scores.
Howard said they would go to the club in the afternoon and it was all closed down just for them. He said they were running around in their underwear. He said his whole organization was taking over and he wasn't even going to Scores. He said he'd hear about the parties that were going on the next day.
Howard said then he hears that Ronnie took JD over there to the club. He said he'd hear the stories about that. He said Ronnie would tell him about the guys they had there. He said then Ronnie hooked Sal up at Rick's for his lunches. He said that he was having lunch there once a week. He said Ronnie's whole life changed after all of that. He said his whole marriage fell apart and he was the man.
Howard said he's Ronnie and he's the man. He said then he got the Twitter account and had chick of the week and all of that. He said don't even ask. Robin said he was doing the tours on the road and he was all over the country. Howard said that was Ronnie's party. Ronnie said that was club openings. Howard said all he does is yell on stage. He said he's like a touring comedian. He said it was wild.
Howard said then out of the blue one day Ronnie shows up at Jon Hein's daughter's bat mitzvah with a 24 year old on his arm. Robin said she thought it was one of the girl's friends. Ronnie told her to stop it. Howard said now Ronnie was getting fucked in the ass and all of that.
Howard said that no one has achieved so much with so little. Ronnie said he wrote that letter to Howard all those years ago. He said that's what started it all. Howard said he's been in a movie with Adam Sandler. Robin said he's done several TV appearances. Howard said he's like a real life Forest Gump. Ronnie told him to stop it. Howard said Ronnie is the real deal Forest Gump. Robin said he took a meeting with Howie Mandel about a show. Ronnie said they were going to go redo strip clubs. Howard said Howie can be annoying. He said that he was dressing like him and then he was working with his guy Ronnie. He said he was going too far.
Howard asked what happened with that show. Ronnie said they weren't able to get advertisers. He said the whole premise was like the guy who goes in and saves bars. He said they were going to do that with strip clubs. Howard said Ronnie knows nothing about decorating. He said it didn't make sense.
Howard said he has tape of Ronnie yelling at girls at a strip club. He played the clip and Ronnie was on stage yelling everything. He was calling the girls up to the stage and yelled it all. He was yelling about shots and stuff. Howard said the guy was in his late 60s when he did that. Ronnie said that was actually a pool party contest at Hard Rock. Howard said his talent is yelling.
Howard said you don't want to hear that at the Hard Rock by the pool. Ronnie said it was closed down just for that.
Howard asked what he was even yelling about. Ronnie said they were getting the girls on stage. Howard said he just yells out one word. Ronnie said he had a good time. Howard said he loves performing and having the spotlight. Robin said he loves the stage. She said he doesn't mind the spotlight. Ronnie said two drinks and forget about it. Howard said he holds himself responsible for it. Ronnie said there's a lot of people who would agree with him on that. Howard said he knows that he gets blamed for it all.
Howard said Ronnie becomes a whole ladies man. He said he's like Hugh Hefner. Robin said they had those girls on the show and Ronnie would direct them and tell them what to wear. Howard said he never asked Ronnie to do that. He said the guys would tell him that he was doing that and he asked who asked him to do it. He said he just did it on his own. He said he was so confident that he'd tell the girls what not to wear. He said that if you're confident the girls will listen. He said that he'd tell them to show some side beav and they'd listen. Ronnie said definitely.
Howard said he never asked Ronnie to do it but he took charge. He said the girls loved it too. He said they'd thank him for it. Ronnie said the girls were happy that Howard was happy with the way they looked. He said they'd thank him for that. Ronnie said he even picked out the shoes. Howard said they did look good.
Howard read more feedback about Ronnie and said that he also recorded some new ass shaving tips. Howard asked when he recorded these. Ronnie said it was a while back. Howard said he didn't realize that. He played a clip of Ronnie talking about how shit falls out easier if you shave the hair back there. He said you almost get turned on by the feeling of the shaved asshole. Howard said he really puts on a creepy voice in those things.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she can't stand that old geezer Ronnie. She said that she hopes he gets something shoved up his ass by Stephanie. She said that he has a bad attitude. She said go drive the bread truck. Howard asked if her husband left her. She said her husband is in check. She said he ain't driving no bread truck either. Howard said this woman, Carrie, really hit into something. He said don't let your man go to a strip club. Carrie said that no man would do what Ronnie does. Howard said Ronnie has a charm but not with this woman. Ronnie said she should be driving the bread truck with that attitude.
Carrie said she hopes that Stephanie puts a pillow over his head in that heat. Howard said he thinks that Ronnie is thinking that this chick wants to fuck him so hard. Ronnie said he would run for the hills if he ever saw this woman. Carrie said she'd never fuck him. Howard asked if he thinks he could seduce her. Ronnie said that she sounds older than him. Carrie said maybe she is. She said that poor woman he has. Ronnie said sure he feels bad for her too.
Howard said Carrie sounds like she could get him in line if they were a couple. Ronnie said he'd never be near this woman. He said that he can imagine what her poor husband has to go through. Carrie said he knows his place. Ronnie said he knows his place too. He said he found his place. Howard said he's doing just fine.
Howard said he thinks that Ronnie is thinking that her sex life is bad. Carrie said her sex life has dildos but they don't go up a shaved ass. Howard asked if her husband is still into her. Ronnie said that she has to put a gun to his head. Carrie said that what Ronnie does is crazy for an 80 year old man. Howard said this would be Ronnie's life if he hadn't hired him. Carrie said he'd know his place. Ronnie said he knows his place so that's why he's still there.
Carrie said that Ronnie has to dunk his head in the pool when he gets out to Vegas to cool down. Howard said he knows that Ronnie knows a lot of hot chicks but a lot of women feel that he's too cocky with his sex stuff. Ronnie said that's how he stays young. Carrie said she didn't know a bad attitude keeps you young. Ronnie said he doesn't have a bad attitude. Carrie said that everyone thinks he does. Ronnie asked who everyone is.
Ronnie went off on Carrie sand told her to go let her husband out of the barn. He said he should take him under his wing and hook him up with an 85 year old. Howard said if Ronnie hooks up with the guy it's over. Ronnie said imagine listening to this shit every night. Carrie asked if he's going to take him to a nursing home. She said get the fuck out of here.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Carrie sounds so upbeat and happy. She said that Ronnie has had this in his blood and don't listen to anyone like this woman. She called Carrie an old bag and said she wishes that she was Ronnie. Howard let her go after that.
Howard took a call from one of the staffers who was doing an impression of Carrie calling herself Mary. She was going off on Ronnie just like Carrie.
Howard said thanks to Mary and Carrie. He said they're not fans but he thanks them for the call. Ronnie said she's entitled to speak her opinion. Carrie said that's the most sensible thing he's said so far.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can get this lady off the phone. He said he can't take it. He said she's the most annoying fucking lady in the world. Carrie said that's her job. Howard said he'd like to send her a Flat Ronnie so she can yell at him all day long. Carrie said she has a fire pit in the back yard so she'll take it.
Howard played another tip from Ronnie about shaving your ass. In that one Ronnie gave some advice on keeping it clean back there.
Howard took a call from fake Carrie's husband who said he's in a well in Pennsylvania. He said that he needs to get out. He said please don't piss her off too much because he can't take it anymore.
Howard played one more tip from Ronnie about shaving your asshole. In that one Ronnie said that you should go with the grain of your ass or you could cut your asshole.
Howard said there you have it. He said there's some tips on shaving your asshole. He said he still doesn't get how he does it. He said it's such a sensitive area to be messing around with. He said you don't want to go in there blindly. Ronnie said you have to use shave gel. He said shaving cream doesn't work good. He said cream doesn't last long. He said it dries up and that's how you cut yourself. He said the gel lasts longer while you trim everything. Howard asked how often he does it. Ronnie said once a week. He said if you keep after it then it's like cutting your lawn. He said you keep after it then it doesn't grow too much.
Howard said no one is sticking things up his ass or licking his asshole so he doesn't need to do that. Ronnie said it's a hygienic thing for him. Howard laughed as he as explaining all of that. Ronnie said it's hard to get all the shit out if you don't shave it. Howard said he should have an ass barber shop out in Vegas.
Howard said Ronnie spends 1/3 of his life shaving his balls and ass like some people spend their lives sleeping. Ronnie said it can get kind of gross down there. Howard said he never shaved his asshole before he met Stephanie. Ronnie said he's probably right with that. He said in the olden days girls were into hairy shit. He said not anymore though. He said guys aren't into hairy pussy anymore. He said if you go back and look in the 80s and 70s then you see the hairy bushes. He said you don't see that shit now. He said it's starting to come back a little bit. Howard said he doesn't like that. He said he knows what he's talking about. He said some girls have a little bit of hair there. He said it's not a good look.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie has some fans. He said if he was married to that woman he'd shoot himself. He said he's been a fan for a long time.
Howard took a call from ''Mildred'' who said that she's on Ronnie's side with that hairy asshole thing back in the day. She said that she kept herself very hairy for the man who would come and suck her. She said that she used to floss her teeth with her husband's ass hair.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Ronnie if there's anywhere that he draws the line with Stephanie in bed. He asked if there's anything he won't do. Howard asked if he can think of anything. Ronnie said he draws the line at role play. He said that's just stupid. He said he can't get into it. Howard said he thinks that's because he can't think of anything to say. Ronnie said he's cool with her dressing up in an outfit but he's not going to get into scripted shit. Howard said you ad-lib. Ronnie said they pretend with some shit. He said they watch porno and act out what they see. He said they'll do that. Howard asked if they ever talk dirty. Ronnie said they do that a little bit. He said they like watching porn movies instead. Howard said he doesn't like to pretend that they're doctor and patient. Ronnie said that's right.
The caller asked if Beth is open to anal. Howard laughed. He said Beth is the greatest lover of all time. He said he knows she has to be satisfied with him. He said the other day she stuffed a big tomato in his ass. He said that she's not open to his anal and he's sure she wouldn't mind him saying that's not her thing. He said it's not his thing either. He said that's fine. He said what they do is just perfect. Ronnie said it's not every day for him either.
Howard said Ronnie has said that anal for him is just rubbing his dick between Stephanie's ass cheeks. Ronnie said that he has a lot of pre-cum so they don't have to use any lube. He said that he just rubs it between her cheeks. Howard said it's like titty fucking. Ronnie said exactly. He said the anal thing is a rare thing. Howard asked if any ass juice gets in there too. Ronnie said he's never investigated. Howard said it seems like he's a leaky old faucet. Ronnie said that's his natural lube. He said he has drops that come out and he has a whole thing coming out. Howard laughed and said ''Oh god.'' He said it's like the mustard on the buns. He said his dick his the hot dog. He said then he starts bleeding and that's the ketchup.
Howard said he's not sure what this pre-cum thing is. He said he's a man and he doesn't have that. He said his dick runs like a runny nose. Ronnie said it doesn't. He said he can shoot it out. He said all of a sudden he'll be doing nothing and then his penis is in between her buns there and she'll back up to him. He said he can tell when she likes to do it. He said she'll almost arrange it that way. Howard laughed and asked what's going on in that house. He said the TV seems to be on all the time and stimulates things.
Howard said he has a clip of Ronnie yelling at the girls at Scores. He played the clip and Ronnie was talking about what they were doing with this photo shoot they were doing. He was asking to see some pussy and things like that. He said if they don't do what he says they don't work there anymore.
Howard said that's strip club Hitler over there. He asked what the temp in Vegas is today. Ronnie said it's only going to be 92. Howard said there you go. He said he's king of the strip clubs.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and sang along with the Bowie song a little bit. He said this is such a great song. He said he saw a McDonald's going up in some other country and came up with this song. Robin said she's had the same reaction.
Howard said he's afraid of Americans when he sees health care workers in a hospital saying they don't want to get the vaccine.
Howard said he's going to take some calls. Robin said she thought they were going to do more with Jambi. Howard said he thinks he did enough. He said he got a letter from someone at ABC who asked him to come on Family Feud. He said they really want him on Celebrity Family Feud. He said they can have the Wack Pack on if he wants.
Howard read some feedback about the Family Feud thing they talked about yesterday. Howard said he's not going on that show to make a fool out of himself. He said he can play at home and do well but he knows it won't work out. He said he'll make a fool of himself. He said he doesn't need Steve Harvey making that ''This guy is an idiot'' face to the camera.
Howard said it would be worth going on network TV and having Debbie the Cum Lady on. He said he'd just love to hear Steve introduce her and Wendy the Slow Adult.
Howard read some more comments about the Family Feud thing. He said he could have Robin, Fred and Gary there. Howard said someone said Ralph can tag along as his boyfriend. He said they can suck each other's dick on camera. He said he knows he'll fuck up and Steve will give that face. He said he doesn't need that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to talk about this ball shaving stuff. He said they hear that Robin's sex life isn't that great but is she still shaving. Robin said she does. She said she used to get waxed. She said the wax really gets in there. Howard said at least she's shaving. Robin said in the pandemic you don't get waxed. Robin said she used to get a Brazilian. She said they get everything with that.
Howard said Robin is not a woman who has an odor or anything. He said she's never had an off day. He said he never detected an odor at all. He said she's super femme. He said everyone knows it. Howard said that Richard and Sal shave their asses regularly too.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik and asked if he would do Family Feud. Erik said absolutely. Howard said Jon Hein has some sample questions like Feud has. Jon got on and said name something associated with vampires. Howard said biting. That was not up there according to Jon. Jon said that blood is but biting is not. Erik said how about teeth. Jon said that's not up there but fangs is. Howard said fangs would be acceptable. Howard said they would give that on the show. Jon said he doesn't think so.
Jon tried another one which was Name something in a closet that only comes out on special occasions. Howard said evening gown. Erik said suits. Jon said that's the number one answer. Howard said he's not going to go on TV and lose to a guy with an 80 IQ. He said he's not going to humiliate himself.
Howard said this guy at ABC he's known for years and he wrote to him about what they can do. He said it's Robert Mills. He said that he's sure he won't mind him mentioning his name. He said it would be a funny bit but he doesn't want to be humiliated.
Jon had another question for them. Howard said Erik just beat him. He said that's the whole point. Howard said when he plays at home he's perfect. Howard said nothing can change his mind now that Erik has beat him. Jon asked what color you hope not to see in the toilet bowl. Howard said brown. Erik said the same thing. That was the number one answer. Howard said Erik is stupider than a piece of wood and he still beat him.
Jon had one more. He said name something you find in a breakfast buffet. Howard said eggs and Erik said pancakes. Jon said eggs is the number one answers and pancakes is not up there. Howard said thank god. Howard said he knows Erik would beat him on one answer. He said then you take the board and you have to come up with more things. Howard said you have to come up with bacon and things like that. Erik said sausage. Howard said he's already out of juice. Jon said juice is up there. Howard asked if flies are up there. Jon said they're not. Robin asked if cereal is up there. Jon said it is at number 8. Erik asked about coffee. Jon said that's up there too. Howard said he'd choke at this point. Robin said that Howard would have it with yogurt. Jon said it's not yogurt. Howard said it must be fecal bacteria.
Jon asked Erik if he has the final answer. Erik said croissant. Jon said that's not it. He said melon is the final one. Robin said that she was going to say fruit but she said cereal. Howard said she should have said that earlier.
Howard asked Jon for one more. Jon asked him to name a common component in a candy bar. Howard said chocolate. Jon said that's the number one answer. Howard said nuts. Jon said that's up there. He said peanuts is the number 2 answer. Howard said then you say caramel. Jon said that's up there at number 3. Howard asked if he said chocolate. Jon said he did. Howard said this is where he gets stupid. Howard said now Steve is rolling his eyes. Howard said how about nougat. Jon said that's up there at number 4. Howard said how about cracker. Jon said that's not up there. Howard said this is where he falls short. Jon said the last one is coconut. Robin said she was going to say that but he wouldn't let her play.
Jon asked Robin to name something after she gets engaged. Robin said that's horrible. She didn't have an answer. Howard said how about a ring. Jon said that's number 2. Robin said that's a stupid answer. Robin asked what else you buy. Howard said how about a pre-nup. Jon said that's not on the board. Howard said vacation package. Jon said no to that. He said no car after Howard gave that answer. Howard said this is where you look stupid on Feud. Robin said how about a dress. Jon said that's up there at number 1. He said champagne and dinner are the other two answers.
Howard asked Erik if he's going to say he's gay or not. Erik said he would say that he would say that he likes certain kind of people.
Howard took call from Gonzo who said he's not gay. Erik said he went down on a tranny. Gonzo said he doesn't want to suck Erik's dick. He said he's not into fat guys. Howard said Gonzo generated a lot of mail the other day. He said he went out with a girl who turned out to be a tranny. He said Gonzo ended up sucking the trans woman off and she still had a penis. He said Gonzo called it a clitoris. Howard said a lot of people said he's crazy. He said it's still a penis. Howard said that he fucked her in the ass and said it was her vagina. He said he took offense at that.
Howard asked if he's still with her. Gonzo said of course. He said everything is going good. Gonzo said Erik keeps sending him messages because he thinks he's gay. He said he's not gay. Erik asked if he has slept with him. Gonzo said it's ''her'' and he did have sex with her. He said it's not gay to hook up with a trans girl. He said that doesn't mean he wants to fuck Erik. Erik said he would tell him that he's always available for him if he needs him.
Howard said Gonzo has sucked a penis so why not suck Erik's. Robin said he's saying that he wouldn't do that under any circumstance. Gonzo said it's a big leap to go from a hot trans girl to Erik. Howard said he has tits and a tiny penis. He said he could call his ass a vagina if he wants. Gonzo said he's not attractive to him. He said he's not a homosexual. He said he's 100 percent straight.
Howard said Erik has a female voice. Gonzo said he doesn't look like a woman. Erik asked if he gets a wig would he do it. Gonzo said he's not into him. He said he's into women. Howard asked if Erik would be okay with him calking his ass a vagina. Erik said he would. Gonzo asked him to tell Erik that he's not gay. Howard said he's not sure what he is. Erik said he's not sure what he is either. Robin said she's not sure what Erik is. Gonzo insisted that he's 100 percent straight. Erik said he's 50/50.
Howard said Erik must think he has a shot with Gonzo. Gonzo said he's attracted to women. He said this woman he's with is very feminine. He said she's his height and she looks like a woman. Erik said she's a he/she. Erik went into his Low Pitch voice.
Erik said that he thought that he might be into him after that call the other day. Howard said Erik is in love with Gonzo. Gonzo said he loves Erik too but he's not in love. Howard asked if he's saying that no means no and he doesn't want texts from him. Gonzo said that Erik is getting more graphic with him. He said he's not gay so he's not doing a gay act with a trans girl. Howard asked what he's saying to him. Gonzo said he called him and asked if he's gay now. He said he wants to have a gay parade for him.
Howard said that Gonzo has sucked a dick so some people might think it's gay. Gonzo said it's not a dick. He said it's a clit. He said it's her vagina. He said he considers it her vagina. Howard asked how big her clit is. Gonzo said it's like 4 inches. Howard said that's a 4 inch clit. He said he put that in his mouth and sucked on it. He asked if he thinks that it's a way for him to get into sucking dick. Gonzo said it's gross to him so he's not gay. He said he's a heterosexual man. He said he's not into sucking dick. Howard asked if her clit got hard. Gonzo said it did but it was more of a half chub. Howard said she got hard though. He said when you suck on it did he play with her balls. Gonzo said he went down on a trans woman. He said he did what he did. Howard said he's not putting it down but he's trying to define what's going on there. He said it's clitoris and lady balls if he wants to say that. He asked if he licked her balls. Gonzo said he did but he considers that her vagina. Robin told him to calm down here. Erik asked what it tasted like. Gonzo said she was like a lady. He said it tasted like a lady.
Howard said he's surprised that she let him lick her lady balls. Howard said how about they call them her ovaries. He said he's surprised that she let him do that because most pre-op transsexuals don't even like to show their balls or penis to any guy. He said he's surprised he let him go down on her. Gonzo said that was like the first thing he did.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he can't figure out how you go down on a guy and suck a guy's dick and lick his balls and say you're 100 percent straight. He said you can't say that if you've done that. Gonzo said he went down on a woman. He said he doesn't consider it going down on a man. Ralph said he sucked her dick though. Howard said Chris Wilding is upset and saying that Gonzo is being homophobic. Chris got on and said that straight guys are like this and they wont admit that they're gay. He said he doesn't think he'd admit it. He said he did a gay act and he won't admit it. He said he doesn't even have to say he's gay. Howard said maybe he's more comfortable with a woman with a cock. Gonzo said he's just saying that he's comfortable with trans women.
Chris said he's hiding behind details here. He said he did a gay act. He said he's just not admitting that and he's making it sound like being gay is wrong.
Howard told Erik not to give up on Gonzo. Erik said it's okay to be gay living in San Francisco. Howard said he's happy for Gonzo that he has a girlfriend. He said he's not sure if her ass is a vagina or what. He said Chris is upset over this whole thing. Chris said there's nothing wrong with doing a gay act even if you're straight.
Ralph asked if the balls are part of the clitoris in this delusion. Gonzo said it's part of her. He said they're nuts. Ralph laughed.
Howard said he has three women from Friends about to come on and he's pretty sure they don't have any testicles. Howard asked Gonzo if he has ever slapped his sack against his girlfriend's sack. Gonzo said no. He also said that Chris is the one coming off as homophobic. Howard said he hopes that Erik gets into Gonzo's pants and calls in about it. Erik said maybe he can search for his penis too. Howard said he hopes whatever Ralph is up to comes out too.
Howard let everyone go and reviewed what they had just learned. He had fake George Takei on who said that he'd like to know if Gonzo wants to lick his big, veiny clitoris. Howard spent a minute with George and and wrapped up and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and talked about the song ''Dreams'' and tired to talk it up. He said the lead singer of that band is gone. He said she was adorable.
Howard said he has the three ladies from ''Friends'' there. He said they're all superstars. He had Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow all there. Howard thanked them for getting up early. He said Jen looks miserable. She said she got up at 4:15 this morning. She said that Lisa is in New York and Courteney is in London so she's the real friend. Robin said she watched the reunion last night and it was so good. She said it's such a great show and it's great to see them all together again. She said she started watching the series again.
Howard said he's never heard Robin so excited before. Robin said that the show's writing was so good. She said that Kit from Game of Thrones was right on. She said that it's what you do with the words in the script that makes it great. Robin said that Malala thing was great too. Jen said that the first day they were doing that they were taking it all in and telling stories. She said Ben Winston showed them the clips of the fans. She said that they were across the globe and their hearts exploded. She said the impact that it had on people's lives was something. She said watching those videos was extraordinary.
Howard said Jen was crying through the reunion. He said he's not sure about Lisa but Jen said that Courteney never cries. Courteney said she cries over everything. She said she walked on stage and started to cry. Howard said it's amazing that they all get along so well. He said he's worked with people you just can't stand and there's always someone you can't stand. He said it's amazing that they ate lunch together on the set and it never turned into a rivalry. He said it's really a miracle. Jen said they really were and they felt it during the pilot shoot. She said they were outside the stage at Warner and all six of them were out there and the trunk was open. She said it may have been Courteney's car. Courteney said Jen has the best memory.
Howard asked if they ever sat there in private because he knows if you don't get enough lines you might get upset. He asked if they ever got jealous of others getting more lines. Courteney said it was never really like that. She said they might ask for something to pass on.
Howard said he enjoyed the Friends reunion. He said he really enjoyed the show when it was on. He said you forget how good it was. Howard asked why they waited so long for the reunion. He asked why now. Lisa said it wasn't like ''Hey, remember us'' kind of thing. She said that people are still watching it. She said around the 25th anniversary they though about doing something. Jen said it was around the 20th. She said it was also the 25th. Howard asked if they got on the phone and talked about it. Courteney said they always discuss it. She said it's always about all of them wanting to do it. She said it takes a long time to come to an agreement.
Howard said it had to be all in then. Lisa said they all had to talk about it and it didn't take long to come to an agreement. Howard said he thought it would be a scripted thing but this appealed to them because it wasn't that. He said they just wanted to get together and reminisce about the show.
Howard asked if anyone was against it. Courteney said they just had to have the right idea. She said it was about timing too.
Howard said Lisa was nervous when Friends first started because she thought she was going to get fired. Howard said he finds this fascinating. He said Lisa was working on a show for James Burrows and she go fired from that show. Lisa said that was ''Frasier.'' She said that she felt like he didn't like her. She said that she didn't feel like she was right for the group. She said she found out that she was the only one of the six of them on friends that had to go in and interview for Jimmy. She said she had to do it just for James. She said he said he had no notes. She said she felt like she was hopeless or she was prefect and had no notes. She said she was trained to cope with that kind of thing. She said she wasn't right for Frasier and James was right about that.
Howard said that Lisa went to Vasser and she had to be a great student. She said she wasn't that great as a student. She said she thinks they made a mistake letting her in there. Howard said Lisa wants to be on Friends and she has to audition for James Burrows. He said she must have thought she was going to fail. Lisa said that she was trained for that. She said she knew what she was getting into. She said that her character wasn't really part of the group. She said it was a struggle for Phoebe. She said a lot of the reactions in the script they had to figure out how to convey that these other people like her. Howard said Phoebe was an outsider. He said that she doesn't get to have that level of intimacy. He said he gets that. He said even Lisa when she met these other two felt awkward around them. He said she's taller than they are. Howard said his wife feels like a giant around Jen and Courteney. He said they don't eat and they're tiny. He said he's been around them and they don't eat. He said Courteney is petite.
Howard said Lisa felt horrible around them. Lisa said she's bigger than they are but the clothes were so full of volume. She said she hugged both of them in one show and she enveloped them. Jen said they felt cradled by their friend. Howard said now they know what they put this woman through.
Howard said a lot was made about Jen's clothing. He said she came out in tighter and sexier clothes every week. He said that it got tighter as the show went along. He said it was a big topic. Jen said it was a topic. Howard asked if they ere being pressured into wearing certain things. Jen said no. She said no one was asking them to wear smaller stuff. She said that's what they felt comfortable in. Jen said that Lisa had to wear different things for Phoebe though. She said she and Courteney were able to wear what they felt comfortable in.
Howard said he finds all of this so fascinating. He said that he wants to know what fame was like for them. He said when he got famous it was great. He said they'll find this shocking but he wasn't a good looking guy in school. He said that there must have been some people that they met and had a moment where they knew they were famous. Courteney said that she likes to be able to get into restaurants and things like that. She said she feels insecure around other famous people. She said she feels like she's not famous. Courteney said that she gets shy around famous people. She said she forgets that she's also in the public eye that way.
Howard asked who she gets shy around. Courteney said someone like Meryl Streep. She said she as at a movie screening and she was talking to the director and she didn't even know it was the director. Lisa said that she introduced her to Meryl at that screening.
Howard asked if they ever fantasize about not getting Friends and maybe their career would have been bigger. He said that maybe they'd have a career that wasn't comedy. Jen said no. She said she felt like she had arrived. She said being a comedian was her salve. She said that she made people laugh and that made her happy. She said she's not sure how to cry and do a serious role. She said it's about being honest.
Howard asked if they have ever heard from any of their idols. Jen said they know Diane Keaton and she knew Carol Burnett. She said she auditioned for a show she was doing. She said that she was so great. She said she froze up around Carol. Howard said his hero is Jane Fonda. He said there's a woman who came from a privileged family and she stood up for what she believed in. He said she could have been drummed out of the business. Howard said it's hard to stand up for things now. He said that this cancel culture is a real issue. He said you have to admire a woman like that. Courteney said they had dinner with her one night. She said she is the most competent in her work and beliefs. She said she's also a girly girl. Lisa said she's not someone like that and she never thought that people would listen to her.
Howard asked if they ever wanted to tell someone ''fuck you'' after they were told that they can't do something like that. Courteney said she didn't have that but she felt good because there were people in her childhood who weren't nice. Howard asked who they were. Courteney said there was a group of girls in high school and she was the one who would come into school and get out at 12. She said she had work program she was in. She said she wasn't invited to prom and things like that. Howard said she's such a beauty. He said she's talented too. He said he looks at her and thinks about what he would have done if she had given him a look in high school. Howard said she did that Tampax commercial where she looked like an angel and she was in the Springsteen video. He asked how old she was in that commercial. She said she was about 18. Howard asked why she wasn't invited to the prom. Courteney said she went to school near Birmingham, Alabama. She said there was a lot of judging and awards in that school. Howard asked if there was a lot of racism there. Courteney said she's not saying there wasn't any but it wasn't flying around. Howard said he sees it being like that down there. He said he feels like it's a whole different world there.
Howard asked how she got rid of her accent. Courteney said she still has it but she studied to get rid of it. Jen said it comes out but you have to get her riled up.
Howard said this surprises him. He said Lisa wasn't a popular girl in school either. He said she got a nose job and it was life changing. He said she got the nose job and the girls stopped picking on her. Lisa said that was in junior high. She said she had made some friends but then she got the nose job and guys noticed. She said she was like ''screw you'' after that. She said she was never asked to the prom. Howard said no one asked him either. Jen said she didn't go to her prom. Howard asked why not. Jen said it just wasn't a thing.
Howard said Jen had a love in high school. Jen said she did. Howard asked why she didn't go to prom with him. Jen said they just didn't. She said it wasn't the thing to do. Howard asked how long they dated. Jen said about 2 years. Howard asked if she heard from him when she made it. Jen said they were all so young. Howard said he must have been so upset that he lost her. He said that must have made him feel horrible. He said he'd flog himself every day. Jen said they were young. She said you can't get upset about that. She said he was a sweet guy.
Howard said Lisa knows what he's talking about. He said there is a certain satisfaction when you get famous. Lisa said that she's happy and there's no reason to be mad.
Lisa said they worried that things were going to go wrong because things were going too good. Jen said that's where her fear of flying started. She said that she was thinking that something was going to go wrong. Jen said that started in her early 20s when she started to work. She said she was proving her dad wrong. He said he didn't want her to do it because he didn't want her heart broken. She said she had to prove him wrong. She said that was her motivation.
Howard said that her dad was an actor and he was coming from a place of love. Howard said his father told him he sounded dopey and he wasn't going to make it in radio. He asked if they had parents who said things like that. Jen said that it was expressed in a back handed kind of way. Jen said that her mom was kind of like that. She said she was trying to be helpful in her mind. She said her mom was a model and wanted to be an actress. She said that she would say that she was terrible but he had some bit parts in shows like Beverly Hillbillies and shows like that. She said she almost felt guilt for succeeding in a way.
Lisa said that Howard keeps looking for people to say fuck you to. She said that they were nothing but support for each other. She said it was all six of them too. She said it got rid of bitterness. She said she doesn't think of any of the other 5 as bitter people. Jen said they're not competitive. Lisa said it was very rare to have that. She said Courteney was the most well known of them and she was like Lets help each other. She said it was always in the right spirit. She said it's like a miracle. She said under those circumstances you don't feel bitter or angry. She said it all went away doing this show. Jen said it was like they healed each other and loved each other.
Howard said this family of Friends meant more to them than their parents. He said it's like a good parent backing you up. Jen said that she says to this day that it was her best job of her life and she's had some extraordinary jobs. She said that twill stand alone for the rest of her life. She said it was more than a job and a TV show. She said it was family and nurturing.
Howard said it blew his mind that they took the same salary on the show. He said he's not sure who was considered the most well known. He said that Courteney must have had to take a pay cut if she was the most well known. He asked if they had to do that to make it happen. He asked if they had a sit down and asked what they were making and went in to demand the same pay. He said that he might not be anxious to make less. Jen said they had quotes from previous jobs. Courteney said that she had a stipulation about how no one could make more than her. Jen said other cast members hadn't had as many jobs as the rest of them. She said that she thinks Jimmy Burrows told them to negotiate for the same deal. She said they did and they all felt they were dong the same work on the show. Courteney said she was all for them making the same. She said their bond was too strong not to do that. She said they all stuck together and it was good for them. She said that they got along and she's not sure if any other shows were like that.
Lisa said the show really took off the summer after the first season. Howard said they were like rock stars. He said that's how big the show was. Howard said for a guy to get famous it might be different than a woman. Howard asked what it was like dating after getting famous. He said they had to be suspicious of guys after that. He asked what that meant to them. Jen said it wasn't malicious like it is today. She said she didn't have that kind of thing going on back then. She said she thinks she was still naive and didn't assume ill will. She said that eventually there were things that came out and she'd find out that people she went to school with had sold stories that just weren't true. She said they made up stories and sold them to the tabloids. Howard asked if Courteney got that too. Courteney said she's sure she did but she's still naive with the Paparazzi. She said she'll go out wearing the weirdest clothes and she'll have her picture taken and not even think that they'd be out there at the farmer's market.
Howard asked if their personal lives were affected. He said that Jen said in the reunion that she and Swimmer had romantic feelings. He said he thinks it was consummated. He said he'll never believe it wasn't. He said why not bang Schwimmer. Jen said she's not sure where to begin. She said that David was great but it was never the right time. She said they had feelings and they channeled it all into Ross and Rachel. She said that they never, on her life, consummated it. She said Lisa and Courteney can back her on that. Howard said he thinks she kept it quiet and now it's embarrassing. Jen said she would proudly say that it was true if it were true. Jen asked why Robin is so quiet. Robin was just listening.
Howard said if he was on the show with them he would have tried to bang all three of them. Robin said he wouldn't have paid attention to the script.
Howard asked if something signaled to them that their lives had changed. Courteney said that Elton John came to her house two weeks ago and she played piano with him. She said that's when she knew. Howard said that he saw her playing with him and she seems to be able to play well. Howard asked if she feels frustrated with her music career. Courteney said she just learned to play in the past couple of years. She said maybe she is a frustrated musician. She said there's something about musicians and they way they think that makes it her favorite thing.
Howard said that Courteney drummed when they went over to Jimmy Kimmel's house. He said she was drumming and he grabbed a guitar. He said no one knew any songs. Courteney said it was a great little band they had. Howard said they played ''Louie, Louie'' for 7 hours. He said he was impressed by her. He said you need to be musical to be an actor. Howard asked if they have ever been in a musical. Courteney said Jen sang in Morning Show. Jen said she did that but she took singing lessons to do that. She said it was the most fun she ever had. She said a friend got her singing lessons recently so she might be able to sing ''Louie, Louie'' with them. Courteney said she gets too emotional singing.
Howard asked if they had a moment after Friends where they panicked about their future. He asked if they felt like it could be all over. He said they've all done very well since but he wonders about that. Lisa said no. She said every actor has that moment but it goes away fast. Jen and Courteney said they went through cycles. Courteney said that she's older now but she feels like she can do other things. She said she feels like a better actor now.
Howard said he's never asked Courteney this but she was in Ace Ventura with Jim Carrey. He said he was at the height of his powers at that time. He said he's like the best there is at it. He asked what that was like. Courteney said that he was so funny. She said it was about cracking up all the time. She said when they rehearsed he was playing it straighter. She said then he turned it on when they were filming. She said they became really good friends and he cracked her up the whole time. Howard asked if there was any romance there. Courteney said there was a crush for sure. Howard asked if there was anything romantic. Courteney wasn't really answering. Howard said he asks that because they were two talented people and they were doing this film. He said that he can't see why it wouldn't happen. He said if he was around her he would have tried. Jen said that doesn't mean it happens.
Howard asked if they ever had a producer or anyone like that come on to them or do anything inappropriate. They all said they can't think of anything like that. Lisa said she wasn't that open to things like that and men can kind of sense that. Lisa said she would rather never work again if it was coming down to something like that. She said that many young women don't think there's a choice.
Howard asked Jen about how she was offered a shot at being on Saturday Night Live. He said she knew Sandler and Spade. He asked how she knew them. Jen said she did a TV show with one of their friends. She said she met them at an event and they all became friends. Howard said that Lorne asked her to be a cast member and she turned it down. Jen said she was an ignorant kid. She said she didn't think that the men treated women very well on the show. Lisa said that's fair enough. She said you know the work situation and you'd rather not do it. Jen said it was a boy's club at the time. She said they're such brilliant comedians those women who are on Saturday Night Live. Howard said it takes balls to turn that down. He said he finds that mind blowing.
Courteney said that her father told her that she was a good salesman and he wanted her to come home to sell at his pool store. She said that she was down to her last dollar out there in California.
Howard said Courteney got on Family Ties and that had to be crazy to do. He asked if it was fun to do it in front of a live audience. Courteney said it was fun. Lisa said you can mess up and do it again. She said that they're happy to be there and they love to see you mess up. Howard said it has to be embarrassing to mess up. Courteney said that it's really not a problem when you mess up. She said unless it's an all in one kind of shot it's not a problem.
Howard asked why Lisa wasn't hired at Saturday Night Live. He said they hired Julia Sweeney over her. Lisa said that was the right thing to do. She said that Laraine Newman thought she was good enough to look at and that was enough for her.
Howard said Courteney did Saturday Night Live. She said she was too green to do it. She said she'd love to do it now though. She said she just wasn't experienced enough at the time. She said that it didn't go that well. Howard said they have a vomit bucket back stage because people get so nervous going out there. They didn't realize that. Courteney said that makes sense because it is nerve wracking.
Howard asked if there were people who guest starred on Friends who the thought just fucked it up or they couldn't stand them. They said no. Courteney said they were nice people. Howard said Jen is thinking of someone. Jen said she won't say it. Howard said he's begging her to say it. Jen said it was a guy. She said that male did apologize about their behavior years later. She said that he said he was so nervous that he wasn't on his best behavior. Howard asked what the behavior was. Jen said it was as if they were just above being on a sitcom. She said they did a run through on the show and they would go through all of the stuff and this person said that it wasn't even funny and the executives and people were laughing at stuff that wasn't funny. She said that was like coming into their home and shitting on it. Howard said it had to be Tom Selleck. Jen joked it was him. She said he has a permanent halo over his head. She said he's the best. She said it wasn't him. Howard asked if it was Sean Penn. Jen said it wasn't him either.
Howard asked Courteney if she's upset that she was never nominated for an Emmy on that show like Jen and Lisa were. Courteney said sure. She said it did hurt her feelings. She said that every cast member was nominated but her and it hurt her feelings. She said that it meant everything to her when she was nominated for an award with Cougar Town. She said that meant everything to her when she got that. She said she wanted her peers to respect her and she knows a Golden Globe doesn't really do it but it did take the sting out of it.
Howard said you want the show to mean something. He asked if Courteney watched when these two won. Courteney said she did of course. She said she wanted them to win. She said that she wanted to be included too though. Courteney said she watches The Morning Show and it's incredible. She said everything Jen does is great. Jen said Courteney is great at directing too. She said she's multi-talented. She said that she also learned to a be brilliant chef during the pandemic.
Howard said everyone is being nice to Courteney now but they love to hold this over Courteney. He said they love to taunt her. Howard asked if they hide her Emmy from Courteney when she comes over. Jen joked that she does. She said that she's turning it into her front door handle. Howard asked where she keeps it. Jen said she has it on a shelf. She said that she has one in her bathroom holding a roll of toilet paper.
Howard asked where Lisa's is. Lisa said her's broke. She said the globe fell off.
Howard asked Courteney if she had an Emmy where would she keep it. Courteney said in her purse.
Howard asked what their schedule was like. He asked when they'd get their next script. Jen said when they were done shooting on episodes they'd have the next script at their door. They talked about how they shot the show and what time they did it. Lisa said they did it later in the day. She said that they were told that they wouldn't be able to get an audience if they did it earlier in the day. Howard said he would never think to start shooting at 7:30 at night. He said he would have quit over that. He said that's ridiculous. He asked why they would shoot it so late. Courteney said they wanted it to work and they had to do it the best they could. Jen said she was reminded of that when they did the reunion. Lisa said it did take a long time and they wanted to start earlier. Howard said the audience must have gotten burned out. Lisa said they had two audiences.
Howard asked if they had to memorize the script when they got the new one. Lisa said they did a read through and she didn't start memorizing until later in the week. Courteney said she would start on Friday night. She said she had to do that because she doesn't memorize well. Jen said she would write her lines on the table or on fruit. Courteney said she didn't do that all the time but why not be reminded.
Howard said he would do the same thing if he was acting. Courteney said she didn't want to mess up so she had to. Jen said there were long speeches and she would jot things down. Courteney said having one line was even more nerve wracking than a longer thing. She said you don't want to blow that scene with just one word.
Howard asked if Courteney would be under water when she had to go under water in a scene she did. Courteney said she did. She said she didn't have swimming issues so it wasn't a big deal. She said that the water wasn't great. Howard asked if she was topless for that scene. Courteney said she was not. She said that she had something covering her boobs. She said that it was a flesh colored tube top or something.
Howard said he was saying the other day that the unbelievable thing about Friends is that Ross could even get close to Rachel. He said he was pretty nebishy. He said it was a tough sell. He asked if Jen agrees with that. She said it does not. She said he reminded her of her high school boyfriend. Robin said she thought David was very cute. Jen said Howard leans toward the negative. Howard said he's in a dark place. He said poor Beth. Courteney said that she finds Howard to be very evolved and interesting. Jen said that he makes everyone there at parties he's at feel interesting. She said he's very curious but he does lean toward the negative. Howard said try being him for 5 minutes, it's not easy.
Howard said what dropped like a bomb for him was when Matthew Perry said that no one calls him on the staff. Lisa said that he was kidding. Howard said he doesn't think he was. Lisa and Jen said they do talk to him so he was just being funny. Howard said he felt sad for the guy. He said he didn't think he was joking.
Howard asked what the story is with the three of them. He asked if they spoke during the pandemic. Jen and Lisa said they talk all the time. Howard said what a friendship. Courteney said that Jen was coming out every week. Jen said they had a pod together. Lisa said she was very careful.
Howard said Jen was on the show and they were trying to set her up with someone. He said that he has heard rumors about what's going on with her. He asked if she had found love. Jen said that she hasn't had any great success so far. She said she is open to it though. Robin asked how she meets people. Howard asked if they can get her on Raya or something. Jen said absolutely not. Howard said he'd hit that up. Jen said that she doesn't need to do that. She said she's all good and doing just fine. Howard asked if she can date a regular guy or does it have to be someone in show business. Jen said the person has to have a sense of humor and be kind and all of that.
Courteney said that her partner came to her house and it was a music situation. Howard said she's talking about Johnny. He said he knows Johnny. Courteney said he's a musician and a writer. She said that Ed Sheeran's new album is coming out and he wrote with Ed. Howard said he was confused by this. He said that they were separated during the pandemic. He said that she was without him for a long time. Courteney said it was very hard. She said over in the UK they can't come to America. She said that's crazy to her. She said we don't have to quarantine when they come here but they can't get over here. She said she has only been in Johnny's apartment and once to Hethrow to get a nasal swab. She said she's over in London now. She said she also had to go to a physical therapist after she threw her neck out doing a Yoga thing on Instagram.
Howard said he gets the scene now. He said for 9 months she wasn't able to see Johnny. Courteney said that she wasn't able to come over until June. She said it wasn't a great year for her. Howard said if a relationship can last during that it must be good. Howard asked if they do Zoom intimacy. Jen said they should talk about that. She said she knows all about it. Howard asked what they did. Courteney said that they are very intimate but she didn't do this Zoom intimacy. She said she's not sure how to do that. She said she may have done other things in other ways. Howard said that must mean phone sex.
Howard asked if the last name Cox was a problem for her growing up. Courteney said of course. She said she hated that last name. She said she had to keep it when her dad passed away. She said there were no other boys to keep it alive in the family.
Howard said that Lisa is with a Michelle Stern. He said that she's with a Stern. Lisa said that she's actually a Stern because her mother is a Stern. Howard said he can't find one Stern who wants to admit being related to him.
Howard said that Lisa lost her mother during the pandemic. She said it was right at the beginning. She said she thinks it could have been COVID but they're not really sure. She said it was very quick. Lisa said that both of these women came running to be by her side. Howard said he loves her but he wouldn't have come to the funeral. Jen said she's not sure how Howard got through this pandemic. Howard said he got reports on them and they were playing it looser than he was. He said he heard they had people coming in and out of the house. Jen said they were tested and they were the same group of people. Howard said he wasn't letting anyone in or out of the house. He said he's still afraid. He said he went to dinner on Friday night at a couple's home. He said his daughter was over on the weekend too with her boyfriend.
Howard said he heard that Jen has a new thing doing the dishes. Jen said she doesn't have any OCD thing. Howard said the Pandemic was god's gift to him. He said he didn't mind it. Jen said it was horrific. Howard said in Lisa's case it was. Lisa said it was just before it so they were able to have a funeral. She said people thought she was a freak. She said that she made the rabbi announce no hugging at the funeral. She said that people thought she was a cold, ice horror of a person. Howard said he thinks she did the right thing.
Howard said Jen did the read through of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and it blew his mind that she was there with Brad Pitt. He said that was mind blowing. He said he loved watching it but wasn't it awkward. Jen said no. She said it was fun and she and Brad are buddies. She said they're still friends and they speak. She said there's no oddness there. She said maybe for the people watching it feel odd but not for her. She said it was fun and it was for a great cause. Howard said he was watching it like the Zapruder film. He said he watched it maybe 15-20 times.
Howard said he has one last question. He said he was researching all of this and Jen and Courteney have both dated the same guy. He asked if that got weird. He said that's the guy from The counting Crows. He asked if they wanted to slap each other around. Jen said it wasn't weird. Jen said that Courteney dated, dated him and she just had a quick thing with him. Lisa said it was a surprising lack of drama. Howard asked Lisa why she didn't date him. Lisa said she was married already.
Howard said the three of them are very charming. He said he likes that they're real friends in real life. Robin said America likes that. She said they helped them get through the pandemic with the show. Jen said it was a simpler time back then.
Howard said there are 236 episodes and it was the number one comedy for 6 straight seasons. He said they averaged 25 million viewers and the last episode was 52 million. He said that's insane. He said the show now makes a billion dollars in syndication now. Lisa asked if that's true. Jen said she knows it's more than that. She said that one network made a lot more than that. Howard said every year they're doing that. He said that's a billion for Warner Brothers. Jen said she's heard more.
Howard said he heard that they get a check for 20 million a year. Lisa said that would be great and are they owed that? Courteney said that's not even close. She said they don't get even close to that. She said they don't get money from the merchandising or things like that. She said it's nothing like that. Jen said they negotiated back in the dark ages so streaming services weren't even an idea. Howard asked if they should renegotiate and give them 20 million a year. Jen said that would be very generous of them. Lisa said they'd never do that. She said she can't believe it's a billion a year.
Howard said Lisa never signed a pre-nup so was that a good business decision. Lisa said that she doesn't worry about it.
Howard said there are people who are rumored to have auditioned for their roles on Friends. He read a list of names of people who were rumored to have auditioned for their roles. Howard said a lot of people auditioned. He had names for the guys roles too. Jen asked why Howard didn't audition. Howard said no one was looking for him. He said he actually auditioned for the role of Monica.
Howard asked if he could have ever gotten Jennifer. Jen said he's like a brother to her. She said they have spent time together and that's how she feels. Courteney said Howard is a good looking guy. She said she has seen Howard in his spider boots. Howard asked why Lisa is never on their vacations. Courteney said she has her own life and she's very independent. Howard said he ended up on a retreat with these two and he read that there are poisonous snakes and one guy he knows got bitten there. He said he told Beth he wasn't going. He said he didn't care if they brought the whole cast of friends there. Jen said he reads to find out how to get out of going on trips. Howard said Jen and Courteney make a lot of fun of him behind his back. He said he went to bed early and they wanted to wake him up. He said his wife warned them not to.
Jen said someone played a practical joke on him. Howard said everyone was afraid of doing anything to him because Beth got a hold of all of them. He said she warned them all. He said he would have left if they had woken him up. He said Jen always gets the best room in the house. He said he's not sure why that is. He said that she won't even let him in to see it. Courteney said Howard is the reason they go on vacation. She said that he sets it all up. Howard said he doesn't let Jen pay for him. He said he pays for it. He said he's not looking for that. He said make fun of him all you want about his boots. He said he's still alive. Courteney said they had a snake in one of their carts or something. She said she's not making fun of him. She said he was smart about it.
Courteney said that Beth is a saint too. Howard said he likes his wife and his whole life. He said he's a simple man. He said he doesn't need all of that stuff. He said he wants to say home.
Howard said he's really scared of snakes. Robin said he had already been convinced that he was going to be bitten. Howard said they picked a place to go on vacation where there were snakes. Howard said no one else wore boots. He said there are no snakes in his house so that's where he's staying. He said they're very kind to invite him on these trips but he's no fun.
Howard gave Jen a plug for The Morning Show on Apple TV+. He said that's coming out in September.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said everyone is a home run on the show. He said he loves the show and he thinks that Courteney is like Howard. He asked if Courteney did the ''I Know'' line on the show herself or was it in the script. Courteney said that she still says it but it was scripted and she may have just com up with the way she says it.
Howard gave Lisa a plug for some things she's doing and Courteney is doing some stuff on Facebook Watch. She's also doing a reboot of Scream and some other things.
Howard asked Jen about being Courteney's daughter's god mother. Jen said that she gets to go to the christening and things like that.
Howard said the three of them look fabulous. Lisa said so does Howard and Robin. Jen said they didn't hear enough from Robin. Robin said she was riveted with the conversation. She said she was excited to see them and she's watching the series all over again. Jen said she's so sweet. Robin said that her cat Jennifer Aniston is in the other room. She said she can go get her. She said that she's now a star because the Vet loves her and wants to see her.
Howard asked if anyone will be doing any nudity any time soon. Lisa said never. She said there's no point it'll be relevant to a role. Jennifer said she has done it but she will never say never. Courteney said she can't see it. Howard said he can see it right now. He said they all look great. Jen said they have to give a shout out to Richard Ehrlich.
Howard gave them a plug for the Friends reunion and wrapped up. He asked if there was anything he missed. Jen said we love America. Howard said he thinks he's kept them too long so he's going to leave them now. Everyone said goodbye and Howard let them go.
Howard and Robin said they're amazing women. Robin said it was a good feeling to have their Friends on. Howard said that was half a reunion. Robin asked if they have had any of those guys on. Howard said they did have David Schwimmer on years ago. Robin said that was a fun interview today. She said it was fun.
Howard said he hopes that these women inspire young women out there. He said all three of them said they wouldn't have dated him. He asked what you're gonna do.
Howard said that Robin is a powerhouse in the industry too. He said they celebrate her too. Howard said Jennifer sees him as a step brother. He said that he's fascinated with that whole idea of a sitcom and getting along together. Robin said you usually don't see each other again. Howard said it's remarkable. Robin said they have an amazing experience together. She said they still love each other. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 11:10am.