Howard said he can't keep Paul there for 27 hours like Benjy running the marathon. He said he got reports about Benjy. He said he was walking the New York City Marathon. He said he did the marathon. He said Jon Hein gave him the stats. He said it took him 8 hours and 55 minutes to complete it. He said 2 people finished after Benjy. He said he beat 2 people. Robin said he was almost last. Howard said they claim by the time he finished the marathon the winner was back in Kenya enjoying dinner.
Howard said they said that a guy who had Parkinson's beat Benjy. He said Benjy is fat and he ate a 2000 calorie dinner the night before. He said he had a whole pizza before the marathon. He said it was a frozen pizza and he's not sure if he even defrosted it.
Howard asked fake Dr. Now about Benjy eating so much before the marathon. Fake Dr. Now said he ate like a pig and there's no other way to do it. He said he'll be walking into an early grave doing that. He said it's ridiculous. Howard said Benjy didn't do the work. Dr. Now said he's grazing like a cow in a field. He said he lives in a fantasy world.
Howard said Benjy finished with just 83 other people in the whole marathon. He said he finished in his age group with 2 people behind him. He said he had so many Cliff bars with him that it was weighing down his clothes. He said he should have been handing them out to people as he was on the route. He said people who are heavy think they can eat whatever they want but you still have to burn the calories.
Howard asked fake Dr. Now about that. Dr. Now said they like to train but not do the work. He said he will walk off a cliff if he keeps doing that.
Howard said Benjy's pace was 19 minutes and 11 seconds per mile. He said the guys said that he put not effort into he whole thing. He said it was like a long stroll. He said that he went for a 4 mile walk the other day and he was almost ready to pass out. He said Benjy didn't even qualify. He asked Jon what it was that he was telling him. Jon said at a certain point they just shut it down and stop counting. Howard said he was there with the cleaning crew then. Jon said he thinks if Benjy started at noon then it was 9 at night when he finished. He said he was walking in the dark at that point. Howard said it was no marathon. He said it was a stroll-a-thon. He said Benjy was strolling so late that he got run over by a street sweeper.
Howard said it's so weird. He took a call from a guy who said he ran the marathon yesterday. He said he was taking photos of people who were out there and Benjy has pictures where he was posing with people. He said he was wearing a long sleeve shirt and cargo shorts and sweat shirts around his waist. Howard said that's what you wear when you go to Africa to take pictures with lions. He asked Benjy why he wore cargo shorts. Benjy said he did that to hold everything he was carrying. Howard asked if he was doing it for laughs. Benjy said he had other tings he was carrying. He said he was worried that he'd get way too hungry and he wanted to finish. Howard asked why he can't tank up with a breakfast and just take your walk.
Howard said he should have started the day before so he'd finish on the day of the marathon. Fake Dr. Now asked why he has to be such a gross pig. Benjy said he wanted to go to the bathroom before he went to Staten Island. Howard said he wasn't going for time. He said he could have stopped at a Bodega to take a dump.
Howard asked if he's wearing the same clothes he wore in the marathon. Benjy said it is the same shirt. Howard said he doesn't even wash his clothes. Fake Dr. Now said he's a vile person. He asked what he's trying to do in his life. Benjy said he just wants to wear this stuff for the next couple of weeks.
Howard asked how you feel when the Parkinson's guy beats him. Benjy said he was putting effort in. Howard said he was beaten by a guy with Parkinson's. Benjy said it wasn't just that guy. He said he started at the very back too. Howard said the Parkinson's guy finished in 7 hours. He said if you walk with purpose then you can finish faster. He said the Cliff bars must have weighed him down.
Howard said if he was putting effort in then that's even sadder. He said he remembers watching the marathon years ago and people would be going so slow that they'd be holding up traffic. Benjy said it was scary toward the end because it was dark and he almost got lost in the Bronx.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there is no way that they can start off the show with Benjy. He said that he didn't care about the marathon. Howard said he has something good that he did. He said you can hear him call Medicated Pete's mom and try to pick her up. The caller said lets do it then. Howard said he'll redeem Benjy then. Benjy said he did finish the marathon and Howard said he never would. Howard said good then.
Howard said here's a stat for Benjy. He said you have to hear this. He said all of the wheelchair participants finished ahead of Benjy other than one. He said one of them finished 7 seconds ahead of Benjy. He read that again and it said that it was all but one. He said this 69 year old finished 7 seconds ahead of Benjy. He said all wheelchair participants finished ahead of him. Benjy said they're in a chair. Howard said he's not a serious person. He said he must be doing this for a bit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is making him crazy. He asked if he's on a delay because you talk to the guy and there's no energy there. He said he can only imagine why it took him so long to finish. He said waiting for him to say something is killing him. He said he's wasting his life listening to this guy. Dr. Now said he's in a coma from all the food he eats.
Howard said he has to say that he's asking questions that he has no answers for. He asked how long Benjy has worked there. Benjy said 21 years or so. Howard said he's been asking the same questions for the past 20 years and he doesn't get it either.
Howard said he is a Benjy fan but sometimes he wants to grab him and tell him he could be a major player there. He said he wants him to do something. The caller said they feel the same way. He said it's like pulling teeth on the show. He said that no one has done the marathon recently but now we have to hear about his pants falling down because he had so many Cliff bars. Benjy said he's not running the conversation. He said he's trying to answer the questions. Howard told the caller to ask Benjy a question. Benjy was saying he was trying to answer. Howard cut him off and said this is boring. Howard said 83 people were behind Benjy. He said that's it. He said that was out of thousands.
Howard told the caller to ask Benjy how old he is. The caller did that and Benjy said that he turned 50 recently and that's why he did the marathon. Howard told him to swear on the life of his mother that he's 50. Benjy refused to do it. He told Howard to swear on the life of his kids. Howard did that when he said that's his name. Benjy said he doesn't like when people do that. Howard asked if he's telling the truth about his age. Benjy started to get into a whole thing so Howard cut him off. He said he's going to try to redeem Benjy now.
Benjy said there are things that Howard won't talk about on the air. Howard said not his age. He said that he has put a lot about his life on the air but he will not talk about a few things. He said he has to get out of this whole thing. Everyone was talking over each other so Howard let the caller go and cut everyone off.
Howard said he's going to try to redeem Benjy now. He said he's not sure what's going on here. He said we all love Medicated Pete. He said he's a guy they met when he was an intern on the show. He said he was there in like 2009. He said he was on tons of medication at the time so that's how he got his name. He said Pete is now 46 years old. He said he still lives with his mom. He said she takes him grocery shopping and things like that. Robin asked what he's going to do when she dies. Howard said they'll have to take care of him.
Howard said Pete would stand in the office and look over Jon Hein's shoulder the whole time. He said he'd go up to the executive suites and Mel Karmazin would ask who this guy was. Howard said Mel doesn't put up with that shit. He said he had a stalker up there.
Howard said he has some audio of Pete's Mom talking about what it was like to go shopping with Pete. In the clip his mom was talking about how ignorant he acts around her and she's not sure what to say to all of this. She said that she gets into a sweat around him. She said Pete doesn't help her with the bags and stuff so she has a hard time with him.
Howard said Pete's mom is older and she has a hard time with this stuff. He said last year Pete didn't lift a finger to shovel snow last year. He had a clip of her talking about what that was like. She said she's 68 years old and she was able to run rings around him shoveling snow.
Howard said this is where Benjy comes in. He said despite all of these issues Pete and his mom have Pete is very protective of his mom. He said that his mom has been single for many years. He said this was a great idea. Benjy said this was Sal's idea. Howard said they wanted to see how Pete would react to someone trying to date his mom. He said specifically Benjy. He said he loves Benjy but he doesn't want him dating his mother.
Robin said Pete can't think that it's better for her to be with him than Benjy. Howard said this is Benjy asking Pete for permission to date his mom. He said then it gets crazier. Howard played the clip and Benjy was telling Pete about his dating life and how he's attracted to his mom. He said he's just drawn to her. He said that's how he feels about her. He said he wants his blessing to move forward with that. Pete told him that she's good where she is. He said she doesn't want to date anyone. Pete said he would have to think about that.
Howard said that's selfish of Pete. He said he'd tell him anything to get him to forget about dating his mom. He said he'd tell him that she's a lesbian or something.
Howard said Benjy tried another angle with Pete. He said he asked Pete to role play as his mom. He said Pete was into it which is weird. He said this is Benjy and Pete is his mom. He said listen to this. Howard played the clip and Benjy was coming on to Pete as if he were his mom. Benjy got creepy with him talking about how good she looked getting out of the shower and things like that. Pete was telling Benjy he looks pretty good. Benjy asked him to sit on his face and Pete went along with it all.
Howard asked what it going on there. He said Pete must like pretending to be a woman. He said he must like any contact with another person. He asked if he was freaking out. Benjy said he was at first. He said it was strange and funny. He said then it weirdly got sexy. He said it was a weird turn on kind of feeling.
Howard said Benjy said to Pete to grab her son's cock. He said see if you can follow this. He played a clip and Benjy asked Pete's mom to grab her son's cock. Pete was playing his mom and she was talking about the big cock and touching it. Benjy said that he was going to fuck his mom with his big cock. Pete was going along with all of that. He agreed to let him cum on his mom's tits with his own cock.
Howard said at one point he lost complete track of who Benjy was trying to fuck. He said he thinks what happened was that Benjy was Benjy and Pete was his mom but then Benjy asked him to be Pete too. He said he was asking his mom to fuck herself with her son's cock.
Howard said Pete is so lonely that he'll talk to him about all of this. Robin asked if he thinks that Pete really came. Benjy said he didn't. He said he's not sure if Pete did. He said he was weirdly getting turned on by it all. He said it was sexy and disgusting at the same time.
Howard said Benjy asked if Pete would let him date his mom again. Pete was still up in the air about it. Benjy let him go after asking if he was hard and if he wanted to let it all out. Pete said he was but he'd let it out later.
Benjy said that he had to go out on the porch to talk to him so he didn't want his mom hearing any of that stuff.
Howard said maybe the marathon was slow but this bit was fast. He said good job to Benjy. Dr. Now said this was something good that he did. Howard congratulated Benjy on all of that stuff. He said very nice. Benjy said he took his medal to the grocery store people. He said they were very happy for him. Howard said they thought he ran so that's why they were happy. He asked how many Cliff bars he had. Benjy said he had more than that in his pockets. He said he had a lot of stuff. He said he did have too many Cliff bars.
Howard said Aaron Rodgers made everyone think he had been vaccinated back in August. He played a clip of him saying that he was immunized and he's not going to judge the guys on the team if they were vaccinated or not. Howard said he doesn't seem to understand why people are upset with him. He said people are upset because they tell the truth and walk away from things. He said this guy was lying and he was putting people's health at risk. Robin said he's going to miss 2 games this season and that's crucial to the team.
Howard said every anti-vaxxer has their own ''cure'' for this thing. He said they will take this crazy shit even though there's a vaccine that's been checked out and it's fine to take. He said at least Kyrie Irving admits that he didn't get it. He said he doesn't respect him but he tells the truth at least.
Howard said Chris Mad Dog Russo got upset about all of that. He had some audio of him yelling about Rodgers.
Howard said he has Angry Black on the phone and he wants to talk about not getting the vaccine. Howard asked where Angry Black gets this stuff from. Angry Black said he's basing all of this on time. He said he reads the internet and stuff. He said he's totally anti-vax. He said people are still contracting COVID even after getting triple vaxxed. Howard said you don't die if you get vaccinated though. He said if everyone got vaccinated then it would slow it down. Howard said he's being silly.
Angry Black said that we're being told to do it so that's why a lot of people don't do it. Howard said that's ridiculous. Angry Black said that he might have to get a shot in January. Robin asked if he has insurance on his car. Angry Black said of course he does. He said that you have to have insurance on it in the state of New Jersey. Robin asked why he has to go along with that but not with this vaccine. Angry Black said the plague is almost over. Howard said no it's not.
Howard told Angry Black that his wife has a friend who is a health worker. He said this is Libby who wrote this. He read what she wrote about how she's sick and tired of the dying and the people claiming they can beat it and they have done their own research. He said Libby said that she's over the snide and crass comments about this stuff and what people are making claims about. He said people are running for things that the FDA has approved but they won't get the vaccine which is also FDA approved. Libby was going on and on about all of that and Howard said this woman is tired of people like Angry Black. He said they're tapped out because of these people who refuse to get the vaccine. He said people are still dying from COVID when they could be living if they just got vaccinated.
Howard said people like Libby are baffled by people like Angry Black. He said that the Polio vaccine was less tested than this COVID vaccine. He said that he believes that this is okay to take and he wouldn't have put it in his body if he didn't.
Angry Black asked if he thinks that it's okay to say you can't have a job if you don't have a shot. He said you can't take away someone's livelihood. Howard said yes you can. He said that people are dropping dead from this thing. He said people can't function. He said we have a cure and we can get rid of this thing and dampen it out. Angry Black said that things are a lot better than they ere last year. Howard said that's because of the vaccine. Angry Black said exactly. Howard said go get vaccinated then. Angry Black said he's doing his part by not coughing and sneezing on people.
Howard hung up on Angry Black and said that Aaron Rodgers thinks he has an allergy to something in the vaccine. He said he guarantees there's nothing he's allergic to. He said be up front about it if he really is. He said don't tell people that you were vaccinated when you weren't.
Howard played more audio of Rodgers talking about why he didn't get vaccinated. Part of that was the allergy thing and then hearing that people were having adverse reactions to the vaccines.
Howard said then he went into how the vaccine isn't effective. He said this guy is so fucking dumb.
Howard said the facts are that 1 in 5000 people are affected by the break through infections. He said they're wicked but they haven't died. Howard said you can still get it and we know that. Howard played more of Rodgers talking about how people are still getting COVID so why do the manufacturers of the vaccine get away with that. Howard said he must be reading all of this on the internet.
Howard said he also talked about consulting with Joe Rogan. He played audio of Rodgers talking about that and how he consulted with him and he's going to have the best immunity possible because of what he's doing. He said he's thankful for people like Joe. Howard said he's not sure where they get their information but it's bullshit that the more you get COVID the more resistant you are to it.
Howard said he's such a great researcher that he should go into the medical field. He said he says next time he's injured on the field they should have Joe Rogan come in and treat him for his broken bones. He said they can give him some Ivermectin. He said this is all crazy town.
Robin said Bill Maher was talking to Amy Klobuchar and they were talking about things aren't necessary when they have these cures now. Howard said it can drive you nuts.
Howard said Billy Bush covered this story about Pete and Kim. He played some audio of Billy Bush and this woman Rachel talking about Pete and his big dick. Howard played the clip and Rachel called Billy ''Bush man.'' Howard said that might be racist in some way. He said that he must have re-branded. He said the girl from the Bachelor was the first back Bachelorette. He said she was a prosecuting attorney and now she's doing a TV show. Howard restarted the clip where Billy and Rachel talked about Pete and why women are so into him. They were hinting that it was his big dick.
Howard said a lot of guys are upset that Pete is getting all of these women. He said that you feel good for the guy because he's kind of quirky looking. He said he gets that. He said he has to work harder for women because of how quickly looking he is. He said Pete doesn't have that problem though apparently. He said that it somehow got out that he has a big dick. He said he should have a big dick after losing his dad on 9/11. Fred played Robin saying ''big dick energy.''
Howard said the show was so bad and that's what he loved about it. He said it was un-listenable. He said that he had those Symbols he'd sell. He said he gave him one and he threw it out. He said he was upset about that. He said Riley knew a few languages that the Aliens spoke. He said he didn't know anything worth knowing.
Howard said Riley died 6 years ago. He said he really misses him. He said he was on the show once complaining about parking money and he gave him some cash just to shut him up.
Howard said he loves Riley. He said they have to do a Riley-a-Thon or something. Howard said he once had a clip of an African guy saying something and they had Riley translate it thinking it was something alien.
Howard said Pete Davidson might have a big dick but that's not why women date him. He said he must have a good personality. He said that gives guys hope if women are dating a guy who looks kind of quirky. He said most guys look like Howard Stern and not Brad Pitt. He said it should make guys feel better. He said it's a victory.
Howard said no one on his staff dates anyone famous. He said Colin Jost got Scarlet Johansson. He said the guys on Saturday Night Live are able to get famous women. Robin said it's happening right on the show. She said they used to get off the show and get movies and then start dating movie stars.
Howard said Emma Stone married a writer on Saturday Night Live. He said the closest they had on the show was when Benjy made out with Anna Nicole Smith in the bathroom at K-Rock. He said they sort of went on a date. Howard said that Gary thought he could have gotten Jennifer Aniston. He said he was on the air saying that. He said she plays a girl who is so cute and Gary got it in his head that he thought he could have dated her. Howard said she married only good looking guys. He said she's not dating guys like Gary. He said Gary had a pretty inflated view of himself. Robin said that Mike Gange thought he could have had Tori Spelling. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he has tried with his guys. He said they had Khloe Kardashian on the show and they were going to have JD go down on the street with her. He said they had him walk her out of the building and he held her hand the whole time. He said not one newspaper reported it. He said it's the only time he's seen her with a guy and they didn't report it. JD said she even hugged him. He said she was trying to sell it even more. He said they didn't report it at all. Howard said poor JD. He said he was like the invisible man. He said she was hugging him and not one picture the next day. He said it was nothing.
Howard said he tried to hook JD up with Ashley Dupree too but that didn't work. He said Benjy made out with Anna Nicole Smith but that was about it. He said she kicked him out of her hotel room. He said she was kind of out of it over there. He said that she didn't remember even making out with Benjy in the bathroom. He said it was really sad. He said he set Chris Wilding up with Andy Cohen and that didn't work out. He said he got nothing with that guy. He said that he didn't even blow the guy. He said Chris is a nice looking guy. He said he thought he'd close that whole thing.
Chris said Andy opened their date saying it wasn't a date. Howard said you have to get someone famous. He asked who the most famous gay man in America is. Chris said he's dating the guy from Panama said he's not going to get anyone. Howard said he's not sure how long that's going to last. He said the guy is in Panama. Chris said he's kind of freaking out about flying down there. Howard said he must not see him that much. Chris said it's not that often that they see each other. He said it's so hot with the pictures and stuff though.
Howard asked if you jerk off to that. Chris said there's so much of it that he doesn't even do it now. He said he told him he has a job and he wasn't able to do anything with him over text. Chris did his impression of his boyfriend and had him talking about his penis which is known as his little Cosita.
Howard said he even tried to hook Robin and Clarence Clemons up. He had some audio of Clarence coming on to Robin on the show and trying to hook up with her. Howard said that Robin turned down Joe Frazier too. He said that she did try to get Paul McCartney too. He said that didn't work out. Howard said these guys don't even try. Chris said he tried with Andy. He said that Andy was the one who backed out.
Fred played audio of Joe Frazier serenading Robin on the show one day. Howard said that guy loved Robin. Robin said that not many guys sang to her but Joe did. Howard said he had a show in Vegas. He said he loved that guy. He said he love when he walked into the room. He said he had such a great energy. They played another clip of Joe singing on the show.
Howard said they had a great time with Joe. He said he came in once after cutting his toe off with his lawn mower. He said he didn't even go to the hospital for that. He said rest in peace Joe. He said he was the most champion if you ask him. Robin said one day he walked into her room outside her studio and she had a huge picture of Muhammad Ali in the room there. She said she loved Joe but he was kind of upset about that.
Howard said Robin has pretty much outlived her suitors. He said she's still there with them though. Howard played another clip of Joe singing to Robin.
Howard said he thinks that Pete could get Robin. Robin said she doesn't think so. Chris said there's something about Pete. He said he gets it.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he wants to get back to Aaron Rodgers. He said he loves that the Packers lost this weekend. He said he's one of these people who is just not smart. He said he's just smart enough to be stupid. He said he had the fucking nerve to quote Martin Luther King. He said King wasn't referring to vaccines when he said that quote. Howard said now the guy can sit home and squat on a football. He said he's a dick and that's it.
Howard said he got all worked up about it. He said he has the radio show to get that stuff off his chest. Ralph said there are people who poke around the internet until they find what they want to read and they think they have the answers.
Robin asked if they heard about the people who were in Texas waiting for JFK Jr. to show up. Howard said they're a bunch of idiots.
Howard read a story in the paper about a teacher who was fired for telling an 8th grade class stories about Hunter Biden and the vaccine and about Trump still being president. Howard said a kid went home and told his parents about all of this nonsense and that led to the teacher being fired.
Howard said there was a clip on the internet where they were talking to people in Virginia and people were talking about how they don't want critical race theory being taught in schools. He said they asked this guy what it was and he had no idea but he didn't want it being taught in their schools.
Howard said Jared Leto is going to be in a new TV show about vampires. He said he's excited about that. Ralph said he's looking forward to that too. Ralph and Chris were talking about Jared and how hot he is. Ralph said he went out with a girl who said that she dated Jared and he had a huge cock. Howard asked if he really went out with a chick who did that. Ralph said he did and he met her at a Playboy party. He said it was years ago.
Howard said he read that KISS had to cancel a bunch of shows and they may have had low ticket sales or it was because of one of their guitar techs dying from COVID. He said he never got KISS and he's not sure what it was. Ralph said they're 100 years old and it's enough already.
Howard said he wants to mention this too. He said there's a British dating show where the elimination is getting buzzed and the girl gets dropped down a trap hole. He said it's funny as hell. He said he wants to play something from 2010 because this may have been his innovation. He said he thought American Idol would benefit from having a trap door. He played the clip where he talked about that trap door for American Idol.
Howard said he has had a lot of good ideas over the years. He said then they show up on TV. Robin said Ellen even ripped him off. She said that she had people getting dropped out a trap door or being sprung out a door.
Howard thanked everyone for talking about all of that stuff. Robin asked if he was excited about anything else on TV. Howard said he has some others but how long can they talk about that stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if the other players are getting vaccinated then they're protecting everyone else from themselves. He said that Aaron can only be hurting himself. Howard said he was lying about it. He said that's what they were getting at. He said he's a fucking selfish prick. He asked what's going on with people being so uptight about the vaccine. Robin said they'll put all of this other crazy shit in their bodies but not this vaccine. Howard said it's crazy what's going on in this country.
Howard said Aaron Rodgers could have said he was unvaccinated. He said he lied and went around all of the safety protocols. He said he should be kicked out of the league. He said he's an asshole.
Howard asked Ralph about that Terry Farrell chick. Ralph said he did date her. He said he won't talk about if he banged her but they did date. Howard said he did date the chick from Star Trek. Ralph said she played Dax on the Deep Space Nine. He said she had the spots all over her face. Howard said she was cute as could be. He said he was proud of his boy. He asked how she got wise to Ralph. Ralph said they were good friends and she knew him. He said that wasn't a thing.
Ralph asked if he remembers how he hooked up with her. Howard said no. Ralph said he was at a Star Trek convention and Howard told him to try to pick her up just for the show. He said he tried and he did it. He said he wouldn't have tried that if it wasn't for Howard asking him to do it. Ralph said it's a good life lesson to just try and go for it. Howard said there's something with that microphone that gives you that power.
Howard said Ralph is right. He said they don't have a lot of success stories there but Ralph got one celebrity. Ralph said Robin had Dennis Rodman too. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said she could have been the fifth Mrs. Rodman.
Howard asked if Ralph was Terry's boyfriend. Ralph said they were living on opposite coasts. He said they were seeing each other and not anyone else. Howard asked what happened there. Ralph said he's not sure. He said it just fizzled out. He said it died on the vine. Howard said he figured she found out about his 3 toy philosophy and bailed. He said that he has one for investment, one to keep and one to play with. Ralph said the third one is to trade. He said you save one forever and one you trade. He said he still has 3 copies of these stupid things he didn't do anything with.
Ralph said he watched a show called Midnight Mass on Netflix and it's great. He said he thinks Howard would like it. He said you can't get too into it or you spoil it. He said it's sort of horror-ish. He said it has elements that Howard will like. Howard thanked him and hung up on him. Fred played the Greta Thunberg ''Blah, blah, blah'' clip.
Howard said he thinks she weighs 230 pounds and she's still the skinniest person on TLC. He said that maybe she figured that's how to keep attention on her. He said TLC loves that kind of stuff. He said then they asked her what she's eating. She said she's eating fast food and donuts and things like that. Howard said she's racking it on. He said last season they had her binge eating in her car. He said she gets in the car and eats it super fast. Robin said that shows she has issues and she's trying to cover it with food. Howard said she has two brothers and he's dating trans women. He said this guy is dating a formerly black man who is now a woman. He said he's dating trans women and this is the second one. He said there's a lot going on there. He said he'll be watching that show.
Howard played a clip of the trailer where Jazz was talking about what she eats and things like that. Jazz was talking about her family fat shaming her and how humiliated by that she is. Howard said they're trying to help her. He said before they were focused on her peen and vagina thing and now it's the weight. He said what a shame they did all of that work to have her gain all of that weight.
Howard said the show is driving him crazy. He said she got the vagina. Robin said that wasn't the end. She said there's something beneath that problem. Howard said she's full of problems. Robin said most people are. Howard said he's excited about that. He said the season 7 premiere is on November 30th. He said he's seen about 4 seasons but that's enough to catch up.
Howard said he's going to take a break and pish. He said tomorrow they'll have Emily Ratajkowski on the show. He said she wrote a really good book. He said she's so fucking hot. He said it's ridiculous. He said the book is very heavy. He said it's called ''My Body'' and it's very profound. He said she has some very interesting stuff in the book. He said you don't think you want to hear it because she's so hot but it's really good. He said on Wednesday they have Paul McCartney coming on. He said that he can't wait for that. He said he will never squander an opportunity to talk to the greatest song writer ever. He said he told a friend about that and his friend asked what his favorite Beatles album was. He said he was thinking about it and his friend said it's Abbey Road. He said he was thinking it might be something else. He said they were going back and forth mentioning all of the albums. He played some ''Tax Man'' and talked about what he knew about that song. Howard said he and his friend were talking about the other albums and they were coming up with how many great songs there were on all of these albums. Howard played a bunch of Beatles songs while he was talking about that.
Howard said he'll save all of that for Wednesday. They went to break after Howard did a live commercial read.
Howard came back and said this is Joe singing about driving a car and seeing a meadow with a long stone wall. He said he saw that and wrote a song. Robin asked if he thinks he was high at the time. Howard said back in those days he may have been. Howard said they never think about writing a song like that. Robin said that Howard takes his camera with him and takes pictures to paint. Howard said he just uses his iPhone now. He said he won't take a camera. He said the iPhone is just as good as the expensive cameras. Howard said there was a guy who said you can do anything with an iPhone and he'd take beautiful pictures. He said they were every bit as good as thee professional cameras. He said that the phones are crushing the high end camera business. He said that he thinks he can take better ones with the camera but he's not sure. He said his sister is into cameras and she's into the big lenses and things.
Howard said he's just taking pictures and painting them. He said it's so nice to have it with you all the time. He said someone once said the best camera you have is the one you have with you.
Howard said Robin's friend Captain Dennis took a picture and sent it to him so he could paint Robin's back yard. He said it was good enough to paint the picture. He said some of it was unclear but he was able to make it up. robins said sometimes she sends him pictures and she thinks he hates them. Howard said sometimes that's all you need. He said photography is really complex. He said anything good isn't easy.
Howard said he was talking to Billy Joel and he was thinking about how quick a song will come to them. He said it's not fair to say they wrote it in 20 minutes because they spent their lives learning to do that. He said it's their whole life and not just the 20 minutes. He said it didn't really come in 20 minutes. He said it came in a lifetime.
Howard said he was talking to Ed Sheeran over text and he was asking how long it took him to do some of his paintings. He said it's really years of work that led to him being able to do it. He said he was working on a painting this weekend and it's vines hanging over a bridge. He said the vines are there and you can see other vines inside. He said it's hard to figure out how to do that. He said it takes forever to figure it all out.
Howard said the new iPhone has a 77mm lens with a 3x optical zoom. He said he has the new iPhone 13 and he wanted to shoot in that super high def format called RAW. He said his phone almost blew up when he tried to do that. He said he's not sure how to do half that shit. He said he just does it and it comes out good.
Robin said most of the innovation in the phone is the camera now. She said it must be good enough to get people to upgrade. Howard said he thinks it is.
Howard said people enjoyed Ed Sheeran on the show. He read some fan feedback about Ed's interview.
Howard read some feedback about their art and about Ed's songs that he performed on the show. He played some of Ed's performances from last week.
Howard said people were taken with Ed being so passionate about Heinz Ketchup. He said he was so into it that he wrote a commercial for them. Howard read some comments about that.
Howard said Bobo left a voicemail about how impressed he is that he can remember questions for guests. Howard said Bobo has to write them all down in his 18 pages of notes. Howard played Bobo's message and he was saying that when you get older you can't remember stuff like that. Howard said that was very nice of him but he's not particularly genius. He said Bobo may have some limitations. He said that's what he gets from that. Howard played a song parody about Bobo to the tune of an Ed Sheeran song.
Howard said the fans are enjoying the Bubba impersonator who has been on the show lately. Howard said he's not sure if he wants to say who it is. Robin said it's great that they can't tell one from the other. Howard said he's sure he'll mention who it is at some point. He said you want to give the illusion that it's actually Bubba. Howard got Fake Bubba on the line and talked to him for a bit. Bubba asked if he got to talk to Jennifer Witz about getting him hired there. Howard said Bubba should talk to her himself. Fake Bubba had fake Ned sing a song parody about Jennifer Witz hiring them.
Howard said he loves the song and he thinks they're so creative but he's not in charge. Howard said he thinks that Jennifer knows about them. Robin said she would call if she was interested. Fake Bubba had some bits he wanted to do and get them on Sirius. Howard said the fans love him and like him more than the real Bubba. Howard let Bubba go after he did some promos for what they had coming up on the show.
Howard said the fans were impressed with the Diana musical he played last week. He read some of the feedback they got about his interpretation of that.
Howard said they got a lot of feedback about the guy, Dan, who wanted to give him singing lessons. He said that Dan wrote in too. He said that Dan is willing to help them out with their singing. Howard said that the fans think he might be out of his mind. He read some comments from the fans about Dan and what he thought of their singing.
Howard said Ralph wrote in the fan mail. He said he had a bunch of topics he wanted to call in about but wasn't able to. He read some of the comments he had about Kristen Stewart and her interview. Howard said Ralph also commented on the Halloween decorations in his apartment building. He said Ralph has been in that building. He said Ralph said they were way worse than he described. He described them in more detail and said it was like a white trash maze that Richard would go to. Howard said he's right about that. He said the stuff was just so crazy and lame. Howard said he's not sure what Ralph is up to that he was too busy to call in with that stuff.
Howard said he's also a fan of this Greta Thunberg. He said he likes this kid and she's saying fuck the old people she has to live in this world when she gets to age. He said she's worried about the environment and she's upset about how the old people are handling it. Robin said they had that conference and they were making things worse. Howard said Greta says that you can shove your climate crisis up your arse. He said he's not sure what that was about. He said he's not sure what it is. He said he might have a clip. He found that and played it and it was Greta and other people singing about shoving your climate crisis up your arse. He said that he's not sure where that came from. Robins said it was out of context so it's hard to say. Howard said he doesn't like that ''arse'' word. He said just say ass.
Howard moved on to Asian Pete. He said he'll finish on the Debbie the Cum Lady and Jeff the Vomit Guy stuff. Howard said it's weird with Asian Pete. He said the Wack Pack disappears for a while and then they show back up. H said that Wolfie was somehow able to track Pete down. Wolfie got on and said that he claims to be busy working. He said that's his excuse. He said that he has a secret job and he won't tell him where he works pushing carts.
Howard said Pete is a guy who they met in 2009. He said he was a 24 year old saddest virgin contest player. He said he doesn't remember the contest that well but he's not even sure if he won. Wolfie said they had a guy who was covered in fur and he won. Howard said he was one of those wolf boys. He said the guy was in bad shape. Howard asked if he won. Wolfie said he thinks so. He said don't quote him but he thinks he won. Howard said Asian Pete thought he was going to win so easy. He said he walked in thinking no one was lower on the totem pole.
Howard asked how they lost track of that wolf boy. Wolfie said he'll try to find him. Howard asked if he got laid. Wolfie said he's not sure. Howard said he thinks they sent him to the Bunny Ranch. He said prostitutes are providing a service. He said he'll never put them down. Robin asked if the Bunny Ranch is even still around. Howard said he's not sure but he knows it was a bunch of trailers put together out there. He said Eric the Actor went there. He said they had the trailers out in the desert. He said he doesn't remember that contest very well. He said it would make sense that the wolf boy won. He said they didn't call him that though. He said he's not sure how they lost track of that guy. He said you'd think he'd fit right into the show.
Howard played some clips from the show when Pete was first on. Howard said Pete's life isn't that much different than it was back then. He said Pete still masturbates a lot and isn't getting laid. Wolfie said that he does masturbate a lot and he's still at home. He said he thinks they want to push him out of the nest and he's resisting. Howard said Pete is 34 now.
Howard said this is Pete telling Wolfie how he masturbates a lot. Howard played the clip and Pete talked about masturbating in his bedroom a lot of times a day. He said he shoots his loads into napkins. He said sometimes he can shoot a load through the napkin.
Howard said he likes how Wolfie talks to him like he doesn't understand him. He said it's the other way around. Wolfie said Pete can speak Chinese. He said he can actually speak that language very well.
Howard said Pete says that his parents nag him a lot about paying rent. He played some audio of Pete talking about them trying to take his money. He said they charge him $600 a month for rent. Howard said he's not sure what he said at the end of that. Wolfie said he's not sure why they keep raising his rent because they don't give him anything more for that rent. Robin said his parents might have to go to court to evict him.
Howard said this is the Asian Pete Hollywood Monsters Pronunciation Game. He said he's not sure if Robin will get any right. He said that they'll give it a try. Howard got into the game and said that Robin is their contestant today. He got right to it and played Pete saying the name of a Hollywood monster. Howard said he has no key to play along here so he doesn't even know the right answer. Howard said he thinks he hears the name moon at the end. He said he was just told these are movie titles. Howard said he thinks he gets it now. He told Robin it's the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Howard said they can't get any of these. He played another one and Pete said something that they had no clue about. Howard said maybe Charles Atlas. Robin said maybe Child's Play. Howard said this is a person. He played the clip again and Howard said he knows the answer and he's not convinced he's saying it. He said it was Count Dracula.
Howard said this one might be easier. He said this is easier. Robin got it right away. It was Bride of Frankenstein.
Howard said Robin got one. He said he thinks that's enough. He said he should play them all at once and see if she can get any. Howard played another one and it as Michael Myers. Robin and Howard both figured that one out.
Howard played another one and Robin didn't get it. Howard played it again. Howard said he thinks it's Highly Mecca. Howard said it was actually Herman Munster.
Howard said you get the idea. He said good job to Wolfie for tracking that guy down. He said try to track down the guy with hair all over his body.
Howard said it's late in the show and he's not sure if he wants to get into Debbie the Cum Lady and Jeff the Vomit Guy. He said there's something about his voice that turns his stomach. He said it's just the way he delivers it.
Howard said the guy who won the contest that Asian Pete was in was this guy named Alex and he had Cerebral Palsy. He said he got laid. He said it wasn't even the guy with the hair. He said that's the crazy part of the story.
Howard said he's not sure what's worse, winning the saddest virgin contest or losing it.
Howard said he's going to do this but if you get sick just turn off the radio. He said that Debbie says she has to drink cum every day or she gets depressed and gets headaches. He said she has 7 guys she goes to regularly. He said he gets ill thinking about that. He said then you've got Jeff who gets off on women's vomit. Robin said he never gets it though. Howard said they're both in search of their body fluid. He said the combination of the two is crazy.
Howard said they were thinking that they could work out a deal where Debbie could vomit on Jeff and then Jeff could cum in her mouth. He said he's been talking about this for a while. He said this is Jeff talking to Debbie. He said that he's a guy who is into vomit. He played a clip of Jeff calling the show in December of 2000 telling them about his fetish.
Howard said from that day forward it was A Vile Star is Born. He said that he might be the most repulsive Wack Packer. He said even the little jokes he throws in are gross. He said you want to tell him to just shut up.
Howard said they told Debbie about this and she went right into her pitch to Jeff. He played the clip of Debbie talking to Jeff about what she likes to do and how she'd it with Jeff. She said she'd need a couple of loads a week. Jeff said that's not so far fetched to him. He said it's not off the beaten path.
Howard said that guy has a way with women. He said the whole thing is like an exercise for his gag reflex.
Howard said Jeff was happy to give up his cum but he wanted something in exchange. Howard said this is the answer. He played the clip of Jeff telling Debbie that he'd like her to vomit on him in exchange for his loads. Jeff said he'd like her to use him as a human toilet. He said he'd give her his load into her mouth and she'll be fulfilled. Debbie said that sounds exciting for her. She said it would be a first and she likes how it excites him.
Howard said that's the first time he's heard it go down the right way. He said that she agreed to that and then she told him what would go down if they did it. Howard played that clip and Jeff wanted to stroke her tongue to get her to throw up on him. Debbie said she can do that and then she'll throw up more when she puts his cock in her mouth. She said she'll suck on him and then caress his asshole. She said then he'll finish in her mouth.
Howard said it's sickening. He said there's no one left listening. He said he called the guys after this and said there's a lid for every pot. He said these two found each other. He said it's like when a Disgusting Harry met Vile Sally movie.
Howard said his stomach was turning from the two of them. He said then Debbie said that she wanted to do more. He played a clip of Debbie talking about sticking her finger up his ass and Jeff was fine with that. He said that he's fun and intense too. Debbie asked if she mailed her vomit to him would he send her his cum. Jeff said he can do that but it would diminish it a little bit. Debbie said she can be on Zoom while he pours it on himself.
Howard said nothing about Jeff sounds fun to him. He said he is in love though. He said you can tell. Robin said he was in shock because he's never had that before.
Howard said Jeff calls Wolfie everyday asking when he can meet Debbie. Howard got High Pitch Erik on the line and asked if he ever met up with Debbie. Erik said he didn't but Jeff had better back off. He said he's wiling to drive down to meet her tomorrow if she wants. Howard asked if he'd really do that. Erik said of course he would. Howard said he'd love to hear that. He said he has to record it. Erik said he would. Erik asked if he can get her on the phone. Howard said it's late and he wants to end the show. He said he's tired.
Howard asked Erik if he would mind if she blew him and vomited his semen on Jeff. Erik said that's gross and he doesn't want that. Howard said Jeff will be in another room. Erik said no. He said he doesn't want another guy in there. Howard said they'll be in different rooms. He said that she can run into the there room and you don't even see Jeff. Erik kept saying no. Howard said he gets it. He said he wouldn't want Beth doing that with some other guy.
Erik brought up the story that John Stamos told on the show about Beth. Howard said he has to say that was a good test. He said that's when he knew this relationship was going to last over John Stamos. Erik said that Donnie Wahlberg is hotter than John Stamos. He said he has a hot wife like Howard does too. Howard said he should check out John Stamos' wife. He said she's hot too. Erik said he'll check her out after the show. Howard said don't beat off to her. Erik asked if they can get Debbie on the phone tomorrow. Howard said they already did that bit. He said he had his shot with her. Erik suggested that they have a dating game with him and Jeff and Debbie. Howard said he might do that. He said maybe they can have Medicated Pete on too. Robin said Asian Pete too. Howard said how about everybody.
Howard said he has to go. He said he'll try to hook up a dating game. He said maybe it'll be Erik, Jeff and Lenny Dykstra. Erik said that would be a great game. Howard said Erik might be able to win. Erik said maybe Lenny can drive down to Florida with him. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he thinks Erik really wants Debbie. He said you can tell. He said he's going to end this mess. He said they'll be talking to Emily Ratajkowski tomorrow. He did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how great ''Hey now!'' is but it's not from their show. He asked Robin if she ever came up with her favorite drop clip. Robin said not yet. She said she likes ''Blah, blah, blah.'' Howard asked where ''How's that huh?'' from. Fred said that he's trying to think but nothing happens. He said he's not sure where that's from. He said he thinks it's from a Lampoon thing.
Howard took a call from Pocket who said he's really happy for Jeff the Vomit Guy. He said he's the most vile person in show history. Howard said he wasn't supposed to see in the fan feedback that people wrote in about Jeff and Debbie the Cum Lady. He said no one wants to hear them ever again. He read through some of the feedback they got about them and one person did say they couldn't get enough of them. He had a lot of people saying they don't want to hear them.
Howard read some feedback about the dating game idea that High Pitch Erik came up with yesterday. He said people want to hear that. Robin said they revived the Dating game. Howard said it's called Celebrity Dating Game and it might be the most bad/good game ever. He said he DVRs the show and he doesn't watch every episode. He said it's all fucked up. He said the most glaring screwed up thing is the host Michael Bolton. He said he's on the show and they have this dude who had a huge career at one point hosting. He said this is the kind of TV he has to watch. He said when you do watch the show you're not sure if you're watching TV or a parody of a show. He said Michael Bolton sits there like a wooden Indian in front of a barber shop. He said the guy doesn't move or say a thing. He said then he sings when they reveal who is on the dating game. He said he suddenly stirs and sings. He said then he sings about someone like Carmen Electra being the guest on the show.
Howard said it's always someone like Balki from some old TV show as the host. He said then they have this animatronics version that is Michael Bolton singing a song. He said he forgets who the host is. Robin said she's Zooey Deschanel. Howard said you don't even know why she's famous but she is. He said she had her own TV show or something.
Howard said they turn to Michael Bolton and they have him sing to the bachelors who the Bachelorette is. He said the ''stars'' are so unrecognizable. He said then Bolton sings about who the person is and has a song about what the person used to do. Then someone figures out who it is.
Howard said when Michael Bolton does his thing he sits down and gets silent again. Robin said it's like they turned him off. Howard said they sit him down to recharge him. He said then he sits there on camera the rest of the show. He said it's like Lurch from the Addams Family. He said he doesn't do anything. He said it's kind of sad that he's singing song parodies about the guests. He said you usually know who the guest is and then you turn it on and don't recognize them.
Robin said she's glad that he saw this show. She said she was hoping he did. Howard said Beth won't watch it. He said she has no desire to see it at all. He said she'll just roll over in bed.
Howard said he ends up watching it because it's such a train wreck. He said he's not sure why they keep Michael on camera. He said at least throw a sheet over the man while he's waiting to sing the next song.
Howard said Bolton had some hits. Gary told him he had ''When a Man Loves a Woman'' as a hit. Howard said that's right. He sang some of that. He said that he's listed as an Executive Producer of The Dating Game. He said that's something. Fred played some more Michael Bolton songs.
Howard said he never would have thought that he'd end up on The Dating Game. He had him singing for Joey Lawrence on Celebrity Dating Game. He said they basically spell it out for you. He asked what show he was on. Gary said ''Blossom.'' Howard made up a song about how he was on Blossom when he was very young. Howard played the clip of Michael Bolton singing a song about Joey where he gave clues about who it is. Howard said you can't even understand the words to the song. He said enunciate fucker so he can understand the clues. He said it would be funny if the girls got up and walked out after hearing the clues.
Howard played more of Bolton's song and said the whole point is that he's going to reveal who the celebrity is and you don't understands what he's saying. He said it has to be depressing for him. He said you don't see Bruce Springsteen doing this.
Howard played the song Bolton sang for Carmen Electra. He said it's not even a parody. He let that song play a little bit more and made up his own words to a song about her. Howard said it's like his version of hell.
Howard played more of the song and wondered what Bolton was singing. He said he can't even get the words out. He played a little bit of the song and tried to figure out what the lyrics were. He said Michael Bolton said it's not easy learning these songs. He said he has to learn new lyrics. Howard said he's actually going out and being interviewed about this.
Howard said Carmen is probably wondering what the fuck she's doing with her life. He said it's a very existential moment. Howard made up more lyrics about Carmen Electra.
Howard said you have to see this show. He said it's some show they put together. He played more of Bolton's song about Carmen. He said that poor bastard. He said this is his big moment. Howard laughed as he heard Bolton singing.
Howard said what a waste of time. He said he can't sit through this. He said he's never made it this far in a song from that show. He said the show is insufferably long too. He said they used to get right to everything in the old show. He said this one they drag out. He said back in the day the executives would give notes. He said now they don't. He said most of the shit sucks and they don't know it so that's why they give notes. Howard said if they handed in this piece of shit to him he'd tell them to cut it in half.
Howard said he has more Michael Bolton. He said he should be on every show. He said here he is singing about Margaret Cho. He said he's not sure what he puts in that one but he's curious. Howard played the song and Bolton was singing about Margaret and things she's done. Howard said the contestants all get up and start cheering and clapping. He said they have no idea what he's singing either.
Pocket started talking over the song so Howard told him to calm down. He said he's just talking right over the song. He was trying to listen to what he had to say. Howard sang that the guy on the phone is annoying him.
Howard said the one he watched all the way through was Carson Kressley who was on Queer Eye. He said Beth knew Carson and worked with him. He said that he had just started going out with her and she was on some show as a judge and he went out to Vegas to see her. He said she didn't know what she was doing and wanted to come home. He said he went out there to see her and he met Carson and had a good time hanging out with him. He said then he saw he was on Celebrity Dating Game and figured he'd check it out. He said they drag the show out so long though. He said he was wondering if that was really Michael Bolton and if this was a parody they'd see on SCTV or something.
Howard played some of the song that Michael Bolton sang about Carson Kressley. Howard made up his own lyrics for Carson too. He said they suck the life out of the whole show.
Howard said Carson is a funny guy but they sucked the funny right out of him. He said you have to see if you can get through one full episode of that show. He said just give it a try. He said you have to fast forward through stuff. He said he likes to see how the celebrity looks when they come out. He said you don't get the feeling that they go out on a real date. He said on The Bachelor you see that they're going on a real date. He said they actually might have some romance there. He said this whole show is a train wreck.
Howard said the show had an average of 2 million viewers. He said that was a summer show and they're not sure if they're going to have a second season or not. Pocket interrupted again and Howard let him go. He said he was stepping on everything he had to say.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that was the best show on TV. He said bring it back for season 2. He said he fucking loved it. He said there was nothing not to like about it. He said you see Michael Bolton and you think it's a puppet that moved. Howard said this isn't a guy who didn't have a carer. Ralph said you see how rigid his face is and you see how much surgery he's had. Howard said we all age. Robin said his voice is still great.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Michael Bolton is doing E-cards so she sends her family cards from him all the time. Howard said he didn't know he was so busy.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Michael Bolton also did a commercial series a few years ago and it was a jingle that was bad enough to make your ears bleed. She said that she's not sure if anyone remembers that. Howard said he has to make a living. Robin said she doesn't fault the guy for even taking this job. Howard thanked the caller for the call.
Howard said it's pretty dark out there with TV shows. He said that they had Hannah Brown on the show and that was upsetting to him. Robin said no one knew who she was. Howard said even the bachelors on the show had no idea who she was. Howard said they had Iggy Azalea on the show. He said they had Tyson Beckford, David Koechner and others. Howard asked who that David guy is. JD said he played the sports guy in Anchorman. Howard laughed and said okay. Howard asked who some other people were too.
Howard said Chris Kattan was on the show. He said he likes that guy. He said he's not sure what happened to him but he thinks it might have been back pain. He said he knows Margaret Cho too. He said he's not sure who some of these people are. He said Marcus Scribner is one he doesn't know. Gary said he thinks he's on that show ''Blackish.''
Howard said there was one person dancing and he's not sure who it was but the judge said no lifting is allowed in the dance. He said the British judge told the guy this and it's against the rules so he had to deduct points. Howard said that's such a ridiculous thing. He said they have a professional dancer deciding what to do and he's not sure why they would take points away. He said if he was the dancer they should say that they should fire the professional who told him what to do.
Howard played some audio of Carrie Ann Inaba talking about the lifts in the dances from a bunch of shows. He had some other judges complaining about the lifts too.
Howard said if he's a contestant on the show he's going to say that you can't deduct points for the lift if the dance instructor is telling you to do it.
Howard said he wants to do a version of the show where they taze the person for doing a lift. He said it would be like Bubba shocking the balls.
Howard said Olivia Jade went home. He said she couldn't win. He said America can't deal with someone who cheated to get into college. Robin said they can deal with someone who cheats to get into the White House. Howard said he likes all of those dudes who are ignoring the subpoenas for the insurrection hearings. He said he thought Congress had power. He said you can't just ignore that stuff. Robin said we're discovering a lot about government that they didn't know.
Howard said they have tape of Trump asking them to find 11,000 votes in Georgia and he thought he'd go right to prison for tampering with the election. He said now you can just go into the voting booth and piss in it. Robin said you can go in there and piss on the other voters. Howard said there are no standards anymore.
Howard said he was talking about Aaron Rodgers being a scumbag for lying about being vaccinated. He said don't get him started on that. He said he was lying to his teammates. He said if he was on his team he'd let some guys through to deck him. He said that guy is an arrogant fuck too. He said he likes that he's so fucking smart. He said he thinks that he's smarter than doctors.
Howard said Steve Jobs was a bright guy but he got so lucky. He said he had kidney stones and went for a scan. He said the doctor did a full body work up and found that he had cancer in his pancreas. He said that Steve Jobs thought he was smarter than the doctors. He said that he was diagnosed early enough that they could save his life but Steve Jobs thought he knew better and refused the surgery. He said that he's like Trump thinking he knows better. He said he gets on the internet and starts drinking carrot juice. He said that's how he was trying to fight his cancer.
Howard said when Ashton Kutcher played Steve Jobs in a movie and he decided to drink the carrot juice himself. He had some audio of Mila Kunis talking about this. Howard played a clip of Mila talking about how bad things got for Ashton when he ate the carrot juice and grapes. She said he ended up with pancreatitis and it was really dumb for him to do what he did.
Howard said it's fucking crazy. He said this is what people get into. Robin said if that was a cure it would have been figured out. Howard said Steve Jobs is fertilizer now. He said he's pushing up daisies now. He said imagine how great our iPhones would be now if he was still around. He said he wouldn't be putting up with just camera updates. He said we'd be teletransporting by now. He said you'd get to appear somewhere else through the phone if Steve was still around. He said we'd still have a headphone port in the phone too.
Howard said that Dr. Now wants to talk about this whole thing. He got fake Dr. Now on the line and had him talking about listening to your doctor. He said you don't drink carrot juice. He said you will die young.
Howard said he was thinking about on the show when Dr. Now says that these people aren't listening to him. He said it's such a great move he does. He said he loves the surgery he does too. He said he has this thing that's really long that he shoves into these people and then starts pumping it really fast. He asked what that is. Dr. Now said it's like being a World War II gunner.
Howard took a call from a doctor who said he takes care of cancer patients and it's not uncommon that a patient will say they're going to take carrot juice. He said they miss out on great medication that can prolong their lives. He said he has people die because of that. He said that they come back when it's too late. He said there is a balance there and you don't have to have exclusive things. Robin asked why you can't do both. The caller said there's no reason why you can't.
Howard said Robin had a very aggressive cancer and those doctors got a hold of her and chopped out that cancer. He said they worked on her for 12 hours. He said he didn't know you could be worked on for that long at once. He said they radiated and chemo'd the hell out of Robin. Robin said it took 12 hours because of the work they had to do to get that tumor out. She said it was laying on every other organ in her pelvis. She said they had to scrape it off. She said it was meticulous work to remove this thing and give her a chance at life.
Howard said he loves doctors. He said he doesn't have the smarts to be a doctor. He said that he knows guys who went to medical school and they know how to do the work. He said he would just ''figure'' how a math problem worked. He said they don't figure it, they know it. He said he cuts corners. He said these guys don't cut corners. He said these guys who disrespect doctors with your stupid carrot juice theories are idiots. He said you know who the superior students were. He said don't look at the internet, go to your doctor you fucking moron.
Howard said that Aaron Rodgers probably has that onset of that thing from when you get hit in the head too much. The caller said he advises people to bring that stuff to their doctors and ask if it's safe.
Howard said Beth was all excited that she was low on iron. He said that she found this thing on the internet which was gummy bear vitamins loaded with iron. He said Dr. Agus told Beth that she's too old for gummy bears. He said she has to take a regular iron pill. He said that you can bring all of that to your doctor. He said Steve Jobs realized just 9 months later that he had made a mistake but it was too late by then.
Howard said there's a story about a woman who died of COVID after thinking her body could fight the virus without the vaccine. He said she was just 42 years old and it was too late for her to get the vaccine when she was on a ventilator. Howard said on her death bed she asked for her kids to be vaccinated. The caller said it's a really sad thing. Howard said this woman asked her family to get her kids vaccinated. Her husband was also in the hospital with COVID. Howard said the couple fought the virus just feet away from each other. He said it's hard to feel bad for these people.
Howard said Aaron Rodgers is good at one thing, throwing a ball. He said he's not a doctor. Robin said she wouldn't let him treat her for a disease and he shouldn't trust himself. She said the other thing that she's hearing is that these people aren't anti-vax but they're anti-bullying. She said here are so many tings you can't do and this isn't bullying.
Robin said she knows Howard is upset about not voting in the mayoral election but she has to tell him what she went through to vote.
Howard said Beth is going to a colonoscopy. He said that she found a good male doctor but he wanted her to go to a female doctor. He said he doesn't want her alone in a room with a guy but they did check the guy out and he's okay. He said he wants to go with her but she won't let him. He said she doesn't want him around when she has to do the prep where she shits her brains out. He said he'll keep his distance but she wants him to leave the house. Howard said he's going to stick around but stay away from her. He said you have to get a colonoscopy. He said Beth doesn't shit that much so he thinks it's going to be a massive explosion in the house. He said he wants to be there for it. He said he's imagining the toilet filing up to the top and she'll lift on the ground.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're completely right about the vaccine. He said his sister was anti-vax and she was misinformed and uninformed about it. He said she didn't want to hear it and she has passed away from it now. He said that she was still mentally intact and she was in and out of consciousness. He said the last couple of weeks of her life she was trapped inside her body. He said the medication they were giving her turned to poison and it took her life. He said she was just 42. Howard said it's not just old people. He said he's sorry about his sister. He asked who she was listening to. The caller, Finn, said she was listening to everyone but the surgeon general. He said just listen to the CDC and everyone you should be listening to.
Howard asked what it is that people are thinking. Finn said that people are so hard headed that they won't listen to what they're being asked to do. He said they give up their life for a bad misconception. Howard said it's mind blowing. Robin said people think their body can fight it but not everyone can. Howard said Dr. Agus told him that we're in a war and our bodies are losing so they came up with this thing to fight the war for us. Finn said he's one of the only people wearing masks out there and he feels like a lone survivor. Howard said he's sorry about his sister. He told him to take care. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said this is his man Jimi Hendrix. He said he was only 27 when he died. He said what a loss. He said Janis Joplin, Mama Cass, Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain all died at 27. He said he's not sure what that is about that age. He said it's crazy. He said that song spent 106 weeks in the top 100 charts. He said it never made it to number 1 though.
Howard said he has to ask Paul McCartney about hearing a version of one of their songs that Jimi did and thinking they had to go back into the studio and do it that way. He said what a song this is. He said the first time he heard this he was wondering what was going on. He said he had to be selective about what albums he bought. He said he only had so much money. He said he had Sgt. Peppers and The Jimi Hendrix Experience. Howard said he loves that guy.
Howard said he has Debbie the Cum Lady on the phone. He said that he might have to have a dating game with her and these guys. He said the fans were repulsed by them but they might need more of them. Debbie said she's glad she met Jeff and she's thankful for him introducing them. She said she's up for the dating game thing too. She said that she's up for High Pitch Erik visiting her too. She said he can fly down or drive.
Howard asked if she has ever turned a guy down. Debbie said she has to get a load so she can't just fuck. She said she hasn't met a guy she hasn't blown.
Howard said he met her once and she is an attractive woman. He said this is confusing to him. He said he's not sure what it is but she needs to swallow cum. He said it's wild. He said she even got vaccinated because guys weren't letting her blow them if she wasn't. Howard said he thinks he lost her. He said she's not there. Her phone was still connected but she wasn't there. Howard asked if he's still on the air. He asked if Robin got knocked off too. He said Robin is having problems and Debbie is gone. Howard said he's not sure what's happening.
Howard said he has John the Stutterer on the phone too. He said he hasn't heard from him in ages. He said it's good to speak to him.
John said he wants to preface this by saying that it's been a very long time since he appeared on the show. He said he thinks it was 2012. Howard asked why it was that he stopped. John said he just came to the realization that being on the show was a lot more detrimental to his overall emotional and mental health. Howard said he remembers him getting into fights with Ralph. John said it wasn't that. He said it was that when he called back in 1999 he was under the impression that being on the show would improve his life. John said he thought it would improve his life in terms of meeting women. He said he soon came to realize that while he likes Howard and most of the rest of the people on the show it was a lot more harmful to him.
Howard asked if he's getting laid at all because he can get him Debbie the Cum Lady. John said he wouldn't want that. He said the reason he was calling is because he called Sal and tried talking to him. He said that he wasn't able to help so he called this number instead. He said he's calling because he got a phone call from someone who claims that he was from the show. Howard said he thinks what he's saying is that he's getting phone calls at his house and he's not sure if they're from the show or not. Howard said he'll find out. Howard asked if anyone is pranking John the Stutterer or is someone outside the show doing it. Howard said he'll get to the bottom of this. Gary said Sal said he didn't get a call from John. John said he has his number right here.
Howard asked Sal if he's calling John at all. Sal said he has not spoken to John. Howard said someone is pranking him or something then. Sal said yes. Howard said it's not us and someone else is calling him. John said he's not sure why Sal just claimed he didn't get a call from him. Sal said he's not sure what number he has. John said he just called him a few minutes prior to calling this number and he said he can't help him. Howard asked if Sal just had a conversation with him. Sal said he did not. He said he swears on his children that it was not him. Howard said Sal is swearing it wasn't him. John said he called Sal at Sirius. Howard said Sal is saying that it wasn't him. John said he will call his number right now. Howard said it wasn't Sal. He said he has to move his show along. He said it's good to hear from him.
Howard said he's going to put John on with Gary to get to the bottom of this. Howard asked Sal again to swear on his life that it wasn't him. Sal said may his house burn down right now. John gave him a 646 number and Sal said that's not his number. Howard said call it again. John said he swears it was Sal. Howard said call it now and they'll find out. Howard said he really has to get out of this. He said Sal can't lie to him and he knows that. He said he's telling him it wasn't him. John said it was Sal. He said he asked him if anyone prank called him and he said no. He said he was very busy and couldn't speak to him.
Sal said that it sounds like someone is pranking him. He said when he called him he said he can't help him. John said he got Sal's number from three web sites. Howard said if Sal is lying he'll fire him. John said he knows the stuttering makes this tough. He said Sal called him. He said the guy who called him was a blocked number so he found Sal's number. He said that's how he found the numbers. He said he found this number for Sal on three or four web sites. He said Sal told him to call the toll free number. Howard said he's not sure how to solve this. John said he did speak to Sal and he's lying to him.
Howard said he wants to put John on with Gary so they can unravel this whole thing. He said it was good to talk to him. He tried to let John go. Howard asked if Steve Brandano spoke to John. He asked if either him or Steve Nowicki talked to John. Nowicki said no calls. John said the guy who called today claimed he was named Keith. He said that it sounded like a radio station he was calling from.
Howard took a call from a guy named Tom the Stutterer who was doing an impression of John talking about all of this. Sal said that one is legit. Howard asked the guys to do him a favor and get to the bottom of this.
Howard got High Pitch Erik on the line and told him the good news. Erik was all for it. He said he's wiling to drive down there. He said he heard her call this morning and his cock is so hard right now. She said that he can't jerk off for a couple of weeks before. Erik asked how he can save his load for her. Debbie told him to put it in a condom and in the freezer.
Howard asked if it bothers her that Erik has Microphallus. Erik asked what that is. Howard said it's a very small penis. Debbie said the size doesn't matter to her. She said that it's the load that matters to her. Erik said he can drive down there anytime. Debbie said they'll make a plan. She said they can get it recorded for the show. Howard said JD was telling him the other day that High Pitch Erik won't be able to get an erection for her. He said he may be into dudes. JD said that he did a porn and he wasn't able to get hard during that. Erik said that was just performance issues because of the cameras around.
Howard said Chris Wilding thinks the same thing. He said he thinks Erik might be gay and he won't be able to perform. Chris said that Erik has been in the back of his pickup with him and he had to find his cock one time on the show. Erik said if he's with Debbie he's going to be able to do it. Debbie said she's been with bisexual guys and she's been able to make them cum. She said she's been with a ''trainee'' and she was able to make the tranny cum too. Howard said he thinks this is fabulous. He said he's all for them hooking up. He said he's not sure if Erik will be able to deliver but they can find out. He said it might be like getting water out of a rock. JD said he thinks that at the best he might have pre-cum for her. Erik said that maybe Chris can come with him to Florida and he can record it for them. Chris said okay to that. Howard said he can stand there and Erik can look at him while he's in the room. Erik said he can prove him wrong then.
Howard said lets hope this all goes down then. He said maybe they can even get Michael Bolton to sing.
Erik said he thinks that Gonzo was fucking a tranny. Howard said he doesn't know anything about that.
Howard said that Debbie says that they can get the job done with Erik. Erik said he's going to prove Chris and JD wrong. Howard said there you go. He let everyone go after that. Robin said she's surprised this is so difficult to pull off.
Howard said they also learned that Benjy was scared of going hungry so he filled his pockets with Cliff bars. Howard read some feedback about that.
Howard said a lot of women wrote him about Pete Davidson. He said women were thinking he's funny and attractive and they think Kim Kardashian is a lucky woman. Howard said he sees the guy as a hero to guys like him. He said that he gets so many fantastic looking women and that means there's hope for everyone.
Howard said he found some tape that Ralph dated Terry Farrell from Star Trek. He said that he found tape of Terry talking about it on the show. Howard played the clip from years ago where Terry told Howard about hanging out and making out with Ralph. She said it was great. Howard asked if she was going to have sex with him and she said she's not sure.
Howard said terry is married to Leonard Nimoy's son now. Howard said a couple of guys sounded very jealous in that clip. Howard said he has to take a break and get to Emily Ratajkowski. He said he read her book and there's some really heavy stuff in it. He said the book was really good. He said he's not a big book reader but this one he enjoyed. He said he was turned on to her in that Robin Thicke music video for ''Blurred Lines.'' Howard went to break after doing a live commercial read.
Howard came back and said he feels good. He said he loves James Brown. He said meeting him was the highlight of his career. He said the man is a genius. He said the way he danced and sang at the same time was amazing. He said he didn't dub his voice. He said the guy was great.
Howard said he has Emily Ratajkowski on with him. He said he got turned on to her when she was in that Robin Thicke video. Howard asked how she's doing. He said he sees her out everywhere. He asked if she's exhausted. Emily said she is pretty exhausted but she's feeling good this morning. She said she had some wine last night. Howard asked if she's in a hotel there in New York. She said she lives there. She said she grew up in San Diego. Howard said that's a nice part of California. Emily said she grew up in a beach town that was nice.
Howard said Emily looks great and she's such a beauty. He said he saw her on The View and he was wondering what she was going to wear. He said men look at you but you know women are judging you. He said if she walked in wearing an outfit that was so great and made her look too ''hot'' they wouldn't be on her side. Emily said she writes about that in her book. She said she thinks every woman thinks about that every day. She said in New York it's even worse than L.A. She said the public is looking at you. She said she feels like it's always a kind of negotiation. She said she wasn't aware of it that much when she was younger. She said she was a bit bullish and she didn't care what people think. She said it may have hurt her at certain moments. She said she writes about it in her book. She said that she was told to stop dressing a certain way if she wanted to be an actress.
Howard said he thinks about when she was going to school and she started getting attention at the age of 12. He said he thought her book was fabulous. He said she really got him thinking about everything. Emily said that's all she wanted. Howard said he told his wife she had to read the book. He said she encountered some really fucked up things and she could have written a book like this. He said this is an important book. He said most people look at her and think she couldn't write one but she was able to do it and did a great job.
Howard asked if Emily ever had teachers who were inappropriate with her. Emily said she thinks since she was getting attention at 12-14 it was an odd experience to wear a tight shirt or something. She said it made people feel really uncomfortable. She said she knew the boys at school would think she was hot. She said that got her some status. She said she often felt ashamed and embarrassed like something was wrong with her. She said she had a principal snap her bra strap in front of a male teacher. She said that she was embarrassed by that. Howard said it's so weird.
Howard asked if the principal was jealous of her body. Emily said she's not sure if it was that. She said it could have been her wanting to protect her in a twisted way. She said women know what can happen and maybe in some way she thought she was protecting her. She said that could have been part of it.
Howard said he has to thank her for something. He said it's such a weird story. He said he reads the Daily Mail all the time. He said he can't read comments if they have a story about himself. He said whenever she's in the Daily Mail which is almost every day, he thinks that she's the best looking woman he's ever seen. He said if he reads that someone says she's ugly then he knows they're out of their mind. He said sure enough he reads people saying that she's gross and has no ass and things like that. He said that he reads all of that and realizes that they're out of their minds. Emily said she's done that too and read things like that. She said Daily Mail is strange. She said she has the app. She said she wants to see what pictures are going up but she won't read the comments about herself.
Howard asked if she reads the comments on her own Instagram account. Howard said a lot of her business is how many followers she has. He asked if it's mostly dudes or is it men and women equally. Emily said it's men 60 percent. She said it used to be 70/30 but she's glad it's kind of bumped up. She said men are older and women are younger.
Howard said he was reading about her experience with ''Blurred Lines'' and the video. He said that he was a fan of rock videos and MTV. He said that he loved the videos back in the day on MTV. He said it was hot chicks in the videos running around. He said it was people like Tawney Kittaen and women like that. He said he read that Emily said that she can't listen to the song anymore. He said she said it's like PTSD to her. Emily said it's not really PTSD but it's like a one hit wonder and someone like Van Morrison not wanting to play Brown Eyed Girl or something. She said that she showed up to work one day and that's what she did there. She said that she felt people looking at her when that song would come on. She said that has subsided but she'd hear the Marvin Gaye song and bolt to the bathroom before it came on and realize it wasn't actually ''Blurred Lines.''
Howard said the day she went on the set and they start playing the song and tell her to dance, does she say to herself that it sounds like Marvin Gaye. Emily said she doesn't remember. She said she's sure she thought it sounded familiar. She said later on she recognized the song and got familiar with the whole thing.
Howard said he wants to reframe this for her. He said the song was a good song but it wasn't a big hit until she was in that video. He said the song had been out for a while and some dude told him to check out the video. Howard said he thinks that she can take some ownership of that. He said she really drove that. Emily said she's not going to say that but she'll accept it if Howard says it.
Howard said Emily says that the other two women who were there were comforting to her. He said that the video was almost the ultimate rock video. He said they always hinted at nudity but this video was real nudity. He said the lighting in that studio was really bright and she just went out and danced. He said he had never seen a video that bold. Emily said she grew up with rap videos and she's thinking of Snoop Dogg and Pharrell and people like that. She said she thought about the most beautiful women coming from Brazil. She said she got the offer for this video and she was worried it was going to be cheesy. She said what makes it work is that it's that she's being kind of stupid and silly in it. She said she's not dancing sexual. She said there's a silliness to it and that makes it interesting and not cheesy.
Howard said the other thing about that video is that in the 90s everyone was going the other way with their videos. He said they weren't putting women in them. He said they were just showing the bands. He said it wasn't the ''hot woman'' in the video. He said this time they were throwing it in your face and it was mind blowing. He said he gets her confusion about it and how they were running around naked.
Howard said the other thing is that the other two women in the video didn't make it. He said that they just saw Emily. He said that must have blown her mind. Howard asked if she knows their names. Emily said it's Elle and Jessie. She said that she saw Elle once after that but hasn't seen Jessie.
Howard said that Emily used to pray that she'd be a beautiful woman. He said that he used to pray that he'd get on radio and he'd be the only one on the planet with a voice so he'd get on radio. He said Emily was praying for a super power. He said beauty is a super power. He said that leads to people being jealous of beauty. He said he thinks that's part of the essence of her book.
Emily said when she was about 10 she was wishing for that super power and it was something that was very powerful. She said that she prayed for beauty. Howard said he had the same thing and he had this magical thinking that has plagued him his whole life. He said he has to go to therapy about it. He said he would do all kinds of rituals to try to make it. He said he was trying to ensure his safety in the world. Emily said she did the same thing. Howard said she wrote about it. He said that she got to be the most beautiful. He asked where that comes from. Emily said she's trying to figure that out in the book. Emily said one thing she knows is as a little girl the most powerful women were the most beautiful. She said there were powerful men but you could watch a movie and you saw when a woman was beautiful they had this power. She said her mother was very beautiful and she had a lot of shame around her over that. She said she also felt very special. She said that her mom's family told her she had nothing to do with that beauty and she can't take credit for it. Emily said her mother didn't want her to feel that shame. She said as she was getting modeling opportunities her parents wanted her to be able to go into the world and have a good amount of money. She said they wanted to let her make that money so she can do what she wants with her life.
Howard said he ended up hating her mother from this book. Emily said oh no. Howard said he knows she's still alive. He said he had this reaction because her mothers father's attitude toward beauty is that you didn't do anything to earn it. He said it's a shitty thing to say. He said that a great singer works at it and it's a gift. He said that Einstein's brain was a gift. He said beauty is a gift. He said to say to her that it's a shitty thing to brag about your beauty is to say lets deny your gift. Emily said she never thought about it that way and she doesn't think her mother has either. Howard said he got sad when he read about her mother. He said that she appears to have been jealous of her daughter. He said she robbed her of her beauty. He said that she'd tell her that she got it from her. Emily said she didn't say that explicitly. She said she thinks she felt it was a source of pride that reflected on her own beauty. She said she had never had the opportunity to embrace it the way she wanted to because of her own family. Emily said she thought that she wanted her to enjoy her beauty and she could go along for the ride and enjoy it.
Emily said that she has an 8 month old son who she thinks is beautiful. She said they have to come up with other words for him so they don't keep saying that to him.
Howard said that he thinks that it's putting so much pressure on someone to say that they're beautiful. Emily said she doesn't think that her mother was trying to do that. She said that beauty can be a super power and it is a way to protect yourself and having access to that super power. She said that a mother will try to share her prospective on beauty. she said she had an ex-boyfriends mom who was very hip and left leaning and she had a son. She said she was at lunch with her and she was saying that she would have made sure that if she had a daughter she would have made sure she would have stayed thin. Emily said she spit out her food. She said she realized that was her way of protecting her daughter. He said that was her reality. She said she thinks that some of the ways her mom was teaching her about things was her way of helping her succeed. Howard said maybe but in a way she made her crazy making her want to be the hottest girl. Howard said he had to figure out a way to get his father's attention and that's why he got into radio. Emily said that people have said to her that if you replace beauty with smart or something then that's how she felt about her parents. She said she was trying to win their affections and it's crazy.
Howard said he heard Emily talking in an interview about after the Blurred Lines video Robin Thicke unfriended her on an app. She said he blocked her. Howard said he heard her theory about it and maybe he was uncomfortable because he had groped her on the set. He said that he's sure Robin doesn't think he did anything wrong. He said he thinks he blocked her because she's now more famous than him from his song. He said she got more attention from the song than he did. He said you could say that the video is all due to her and he can't fucking stand it. He said it's a challenge to him and it makes him upset and angry. Emily said he could be right. She said him blocking her made her think about him groping her on the set. She said that was a long time ago that he blocked her. Howard said he knows he did it. He said you know when you do it. Emily said he definitely does now.
Emily said that she thought about that day and she felt like Robin was annoyed that he wasn't getting attention. She said that it was his song and he wasn't getting the attention. She said that's when that moment happened on set. Howard said it wasn't sexual but he was teacher her a lesson by doing that. Emily said it was like a gotcha kind of moment.
Howard asked Emily if she thought about Robin in a way that she could be with him. Emily said not at all. She said she has never been into powerful men. She said that she knows women who are and they think they're potential partners. Emily said she gets turned off by that. She said she has a strange relationship with that. Emily said she feels almost aggressive in a way when she's around men like that. She said another part of her wants the attention. She said famous men who have pursued her she's like oh my god. Emily said that there's just something about it that doesn't work for her.
Howard said it's hard to be involved with someone who acts because when their careers aren't going well they treat you shitty. He said there's a lot of pressure there. He said it's like the pressure that her mother gave her over her looks.
Howard asked if Robin Thicke ever sent her a gift or anything for what she did for that video. Emily said they've never spoken. She said a few years ago they ran into each other at a party and she did say hi to him. She said she didn't really want to see him but that was the only time she's seen him. She said he did block her on Instagram so they don't have to be friends.
Howard said that Robin's whole marriage blew up and he was never able to write another hit song after that. He said it's weird. Emily said she doesn't know him so she doesn't have that much of an opinion really. She said it was just one day on set that she interacted with him. She said she knows his current partner is a model and they worked together. She said she knew it was going to be tough to put it in the book. She said she knew it was going to overshadow things. She said she also felt like it was the ultimate example of the theme of the book and that's her evolution. she said that she felt good doing that video but it's more complicated than you think. She said she didn't want to face a lot of that stuff.
Howard asked if she left a lot out of the book. He said she wrote a thing about this stalker guy who came after her and the guy raped her. He said it's outrageously horrible and he's so sorry that happened to her. Howard asked if there were things that she didn't write about. Emily said she thinks that she didn't write about famous people. She said she changed names in the book other than the Robin Thicke thing. She said that everyone would have known that if she talked about it. Emily said that there were other experiences she didn't write about because she didn't want it to be a scandalous celebrity memoir. She said she loves writing and she wanted to do it in a way that wasn't like that. She said there were things that she didn't write about. She said that people talk about first loves and romantic things. Emily said at 14-15 years old she was thinking about having a boyfriend and things like that. Howard said she calls this guy Owen in the book. Howard said the guy is now dead of an overdose so she's not worried about the guy now.
Howard asked why she wanted to keep quiet about the rape and what held her back from talking about it. Emily said she was a kid and she didn't know what rape really was. She said she didn't think about consensual or no consensual sex. She said she had sex with him before and it was consensual. She said this time it wasn't consensual and she was only 15 at the time. She said she didn't even realize it was rape and she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She said she felt ashamed that she had even had sex. She said that she didn't' want to share it with her parents and other people. She said that she felt like she wasn't sure what she'd get out of it if she had talked about it. She said it wouldn't have been a good thing for her. Emily said there was another girl who charged him with rape and she was shocked when she saw that. She said that she realized that it might be rape the way that she explained it. She said that was just a weird relationship in general. She said she didn't really like him in that way but she felt like she had to hang out with him to meet other people.
Howard said these photographers that chase her around are crazy. He said this guy who destroys him in this book is this guy who gets her drunk during a shoot and she's working nude in his house. He said this guy had just dropped his kids off at school. He said during the shoot he's putting his finger in her and using her like a rubber doll. Howard said guys get away with it. He said she tells him to stop and what kind of animal is this. He said he thinks that these guys think they own her for the day when they pay her. Emily said that she thinks a lot of men who work with young beautiful women have a strange relationship with those women. she said she thinks about this because it's not like all men are terrible. She said that these things come out of specific places. She said she thinks about this a lot because she has a lot of men in her life. She said she thinks that he may not have thought he was doing something wrong. She said he may have felt an entitlement. She said she wrote about this in the book that she was trying to impress the guy. She said she was really young and trying to impress the guy. She said that she wanted to make the guy think she was great. She said that they have no idea that a 19 year old is a grown up and knows what she's doing. She said she was of legal age but not for drinking. She said that it's not that simple. Howard said he thinks that it's a jealousy thing. He said they're pissed off. He said that they see pretty girls and they're stuck behind the camera. Emily said there's a lot of insecurity and they want to be artists but they're really just fashion photographers. She said they might feel a little useless. She said she thinks she's experienced that.
Howard said her father is an interesting guy. He asked how much therapy she's done. Emily said enough. She said she's been in it for the past 3 or 4 years once a week. She said it's talk therapy and not psychotherapy. Howard said Emily's dad was a teacher and he was the cool teacher at school. He said he's the art teacher and she says in the book that her father was a good looking man and her parents would make so much noise fucking that she'd hear it. Howard said he's not sure his parents had sex.
Howard said Emily writes about her father and how she thinks he may have had affairs. Emily said she's not sure about affairs but he did get letters from women. She said that he had students who would fall in love with him and her mom was very jealous of that. She said that her dad had flirtatious relationships with women. Howard asked if she felt protected by her father. He said that they can't really talk to her about the bad things that happen. Howard said she wasn't able to go to them for help. He said she must have felt alone. Emily said he's an only child and she felt like she was an adult from day one. She said she'd go to dinners with friends and she'd converse like an adult which was a good thing. She said she had to grow up early. She said she had the body of a woman when she was very young too. Howard said that she had people looking at her like she was 18 when she was just 12.
Howard said some of the things that happened to her as a child were sad. He said that it became this thing with her to look at her sexuality all the time. He said it's tough. Emily said that her mom would tell her it was okay to be happy that boys were looking at her that way. She said it made her very aware of what she looks like. She said you do learn that it's the way to get love and be successful.
Howard said Emily gets pregnant and she must be freaking out thinking about her body and how that's how she makes a living. Howard asked if she worried about being able to snap back. Howard said he remembers when she had her baby people were wondering if she had snapped back yet. Emily said she had people angry at her for posting things after her son was born. She said that she had this woman was upset that she posted something and that she had snapped back. She said she doesn't have to share her whole life. She said she posted pictures of herself in labor and she didn't have to share that. She said she put on these pajamas and it upset people. She said that was her experience. She said her body is different and she has extra skin now. She said she didn't freak out during her pregnancy though. She said she appreciated her body in a new way. She said she learned a lot during that time. She said she didn't go to the dentist for 7 years and she learned that wasn't good.
Howard asked if that's because men make such a big deal out of her when she goes. Emily said she thinks she didn't appreciate needing to care for her body. She said she would shave her legs and put lotion on her skin. She said she wasn't taking care of her health. She said that she didn't want to have that experience in other ways when she went to the doctor. She said she didn't make a big deal out of it but she realized she has to take care of herself.
Emily said she loved being pregnant. She said she would wake up terrified because you're completely out of control. She said her body was changing and she had this little baby's life with her. She said things were blowing her mind about this pregnancy. Howard asked if people told her not to breast feed because that's her livelihood. Emily said other women were telling her that. She said she went for it and didn't do it very long. She said she did it for 4 months and it was very hard to do. She said she did enjoy it. She said that pregnancy is different for everyone.
Howard asked what she thinks about plastic surgery. He said he sees what women are doing toe themselves and it's not good. He asked what the fuck is going on. He said aging gracefully you can still look good. He said the attempt to hold on to beauty can destroy your face. He asked what she thinks about that. Emily said she doesn't fault a woman for going under the knife. She said that it's crazy how violent and painful it is to go through. She said there's a thing called a BBL that's a Brazilian butt lift and they show post op women and you can't sit for like 3 weeks. She said it's just crazy. She said a face lift is violent and she's not sure what she thinks. She said women are willing to do that to be beautiful and that says something about how our society puts an emphasis on beauty. she said she doesn't fault a woman for wanting that. Howard said he gets it but it can go horribly wrong. He said aging gracefully can be the better way. Emily said she thinks she might want to look crazy over looking really old.
Howard asked if Emily has anything on her body that she hates. Emily said she lost a bunch of weight after the breast feeding thing. She said this stress from doing the book promotion is tough. She said she knows there's going to be clickbait stuff with this interview even though she's enjoying it so much. She said her only wish for this book is for people to actually read it. Howard said he was wondering what she was writing about and he really enjoyed it. He said he read it and thought it was heavier than he thought it was going to be. He said it's about beauty and living yourself. He said that she wrote about how hung up on it she was when she wanted to grow up beautiful.
Howard asked what rituals she does in her life. Emily said she has to have her son's name on her in some way. She said she has to do that for him to be healthy. She said she has to be wearing it. She said she might have to take it off for work but that's one thing. She said sometimes she pops into her mind and she will be getting dressed and think about wearing something that will make her day good or not. Emily said one thing she does is not get too excited about anything because she's afraid she'll lose a job. She said she still won't tell anyone if she gets something and she doesn't' want to jinx it.
Howard said for him it was 50 times worse. He said he might have to say a number 3 times or something. He said he'd have to repeat things so much that he thought he was going to lose his mind. Emily asked if that's OCD. Howard said he says it is but his psychiatrist says it's not.
Howard asked if it gets in the way of her life. Emily said that she thinks that she's losing it and she feels like a little kid. She said it will bother her. She said that her husband would tell her that she doesn't enjoy things that much because she worries about things so much.
Howard asked how hard it was to fall in love with her husband. He said that she must have thought about how tough it can be. Emily said that she met her husband at a party in L.A. She said they had played charades and she didn't even clock him as a potential thing. She said she had a boyfriend at the time. She said that she had this friend who had dudes over and she didn't think about them that much. Howard asked if she was running around in a bikini at the party. Emily said she didn't have the bikini company yet because this was like 5 years ago. She said she was wearing a dress and they played charades and she was just being stupid and silly. She said that she watched him light up and his face just changed. She said that they spent time talking and the next time she saw him she knew that he wanted to get to know her. she said something changed when he saw her as her being herself and just being funny. She said she knew he wasn't after her for something other than that.
Howard asked if she thinks that if she got married that she'd be the fantasy girl. Emily said he does things for herself. She said that she was told not to post pictures of her with her husband because guys don't like that. She said she posts them and gets a million likes so she does it.
Howard asked if she dated Ben Affleck. He said she was in Gone Girl with him. Howard said the love scenes were intense in the movie. He said he fell in love with every woman on the set of the movie he did. Emily said that Ben was married at the time. She also said that she doesn't' kiss and tell but nothing happened with him.
Howard said it must have been exciting to become a celebrity. Emily said that she never really wanted to do that. Howard said he admires that. He said that she's in the business of getting followers and if she was with someone famous she might get even more followers. He said that she runs this business which is Instagram and things like that. He said that if she dates someone famous then she might get more followers. He said some people think like that. Emily said she respects women who think like that but it's not for her. She said she's not going to judge someone for doing that. Emily said she accepts money from guys to do a paid Instagram post or something like that. She said that women are working the system in different ways and it's just what you're okay with and what you're not. She said she respects the hustle.
Howard said there was a guy who paid her $25,000 to go out with her. Emily said that was weird because he didn't even talk to her. She said she put these stories out there so she can get people's take on them. She said that there were some weird moments. She said the guy who paid her to be there didn't really talk to her but there were other women there who made a point to go up to him and they got more out of that relationship than she did.
Howard said there's a line. He said his wife would tell him stories about going to Dubai and things like that but she drew the line there. He said the modeling agencies kind of pimp their girls out. Emily said they have to work on that. she said they are just thinking about money and not thinking about protecting those women. Emily said she went to Cochella with a group once and they had a guy who got women to go out with them and they were making no money doing it. She said she was eating cheap meals at the time from Trader Joe's. Emily said that they'd take them out to the club and it was such a weird thing.
Emily said before the pandemic she was out at a club and she saw one of these guys come in with a bunch of women and she knew exactly what that was because she used to be one of those women.
Howard said Emily writes about this Sadie in the book and she's a gorgeous model and she thinks about how she should hang out with her. Emily said that she wasn't in the modeling agency at the time. She said that Sadie kind of plucked her out. she said that she picked her as her best friend. She said that she had always been told that she had a model's body and she wanted to find out if she did. Emily said most of their friendship was partly about the modeling but it was also who they were to the cool boys in high school. Howard asked if she knows what happened to her after school. Emily said she did reconnect with her and she's doing well. She said she's totally different than she was in high school. Emily said she had a tender and living reaction to the essay she wrote.
Howard said there's so much to the book. He said she posted a picture of herself on Instagram that a photographer had taken and he sued her over it. Howard said it was a Paparazzi. He said the guy ended up suing her. Emily said he did and the reason she had posted that one was to explain how tired she was when the paps were following her. She said it's a great way for them to make money. She said she's still fighting that case. She said it's been like 3 years now. Howard asked if she thinks she'll win. Emily said she doesn't know. She said they have to go to court but he has to pay some of her fees. She said it would have been much cheaper to just pay the guy off.
Howard asked how she feels about the Paparazzi. He said she's covered by them so much. Emily said a few weeks ago there were none around her but now that she's doing promotion they're all over. She said that it's a double edged sword. Emily said that some of the Paparazzi reached out to her and asked her to post whatever she wants the to post if they just give them a shot. She said that it's almost like making a deal with the devil but it's nice to have some control. Emily said if she got hit by a car they'd rather take her photo than call an ambulance. She said they don't care about her safety. She said she feels a little bit better now that they reached out like that.
Howard asked what she's enjoyed doing so far. Emily said she was star struck by Whoopi on The View. She said she loved doing that show. Emily said that she really enjoyed that show. She said she liked talking to Whoopi after the show too. She said that she wanted her to make the bikinis bigger for her. She said she told Whoopi that she has to wear the small bikinis.
Howard asked if it's hard to reinvent the bikini. He said she has her own company so what can you do to it. Emily said you have different cuts and prints. She said she grew up on the beach so she was in a bathing suit all the time.
Howard said there's been some real ups and downs in her life. He said she has 28 million followers on Instagram. He said she must not have ever expected this. Emily said not at all. She said that he talks about going on Facebook and seeing old friends. She said that it's her life and she feels grateful. Howard said he hears her. He said she's out doing Drew Barrymore today too so she's busy.
Howard gave her some plugs or her book ''My Body'' and asked if she ever thought about changing her name. Emily said she never thought that she'd be famous so no. Howard asked if she was called names like Rat or anything. Emily said not really. She said that her dad's name was Rata so that's how she got the name Em Rata. Howard said that it was nice having her on. Emily said they're great. Robin thanked her for coming on. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said she's an interesting woman. He said he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about her until he read her book. Robin said she did a great job writing about how women are groomed to please men. She said as soon as a child is born you think about if they're going to be pretty enough. She said they're groomed to please men and that's what she details in her book.
Howard said he was groomed to please his mother. Robin was going on and on about that stuff. Howard said that was Emily Ratajkowski and he recommends her book. He said it was quite illuminating.
Howard said he complimented his daughters on not looking like him. He said they were nice looking unlike himself. Howard thanked Emily for that. He said tomorrow they have Paul McCartney stopping by. He said he wrote a book that's mind blowing too. He said he has a bunch of tunes that he wrote and he writes about what was going on at the time when he wrote them.
Robin said she had some technical problems and she was thinking of going out to the car to listen to what was happening today. Howard said it was weird. He said they've been lucky with what they have had so far. He said sometimes the tech just doesn't work right. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how his ears are bleeding from the opening song being so loud. He said they have Paul McCartney coming in today. He said he's coming on to promote his new book, ''The Lyrics'', that's right up his alley. He said they'll be talking about that.
Howard said he was reading about Brian Williams leaving NBC. He said he lied about being on a helicopter and he got moved over to MSNBC. He said he was covering some sorry and lied about the helicopter thing. He said he got demoted to cable. He said he got to know the guy on MSNBC and Brian was good. He said he had a way of delivering the news in a way that you believed it. He said he loves the guy and thinks he's terrific. He said he announced he's retiring and he didn't think much about it but then Jason asked if he thinks he's just tired of doing the news or is it the money. Howard said that got him thinking. He said Jason read somewhere that Brian's contract was with NBC News when he was the head anchor and he was making good money. He said then they moved him to MSNBC and his contract is up so he may have been asking for more. He said they're paying Rachel Maddow a ton of dough and they were paying him for being on NBC. He said Brian probably said fuck you and left. Robin said he might end up somewhere else then.
Howard said he's not sure how old he is. He asked Robin. Robin didn't know. Howard said she always knows. He said he's going to play a game with Robin later. He said she might be good at this. He said they do a lot of topical porn now. He said he'll get to that.
Howard said Brian is 62. He said he shouldn't retire at that age. He said your brain goes to mush if you do. He said he was thinking about Paul McCartney and went back and listened to the songs that are in his book. He said Paul is up there in age. He said we're all in the back 9 now. He said that he seems so robust and he's thinking he's doing well. He said Paul and his wife are in the water and running around. He said you wonder how his health is. He said everyone who gets up there in age has issues.
At this point I lost signal for about 30 seconds and Robin was in the middle of talking about Ringo so I don't know what she was saying.
Howard said Ringo is 80 and he's still sharp and spry. He said he still wonders how he's doing. He said he wants to know how everything is. He said he wants to ask Paul how he's doing. He said he's not sure if he can do that. He said he's too important. He said that guy is so important. He said he loves talking to him. Robin said the one thing that doesn't rub off is his attitude with Howard. She said that he sees the silver lining in everything.
Howard said that Paul is such an interesting guy because he seems to really love his wives. He said that some guys can get carried away. He said rock stars live in a different world. Robin said they think they should sample everything and that's why they get so many women.
Howard said Paul seems so robust and young. He said he wonders how much more time he has and how much time Ringo and Paul have. He said that guy is just such a treasure and a wealth of knowledge.
Howard said he's talked about John Lennon with Paul before. He said he was brutal with Paul. He said they would put out albums going back and forth criticizing each other. He said they would go out on tour and John would bad mouth Paul. He said it was brutal. He asked if you can imagine that. He said you put out a book and wonder what the guy would say now.
Howard said Paul put out a song called Dear Friends and it was interesting because it's basically Paul asking what the fuck he did to John. He said he writes about that song in the book. He said Paul couldn't figure out what he was doing. Howard said he has to talk to Paul about this. He said if you read the book you see that they did come to an understanding. He said they did hang a bit and even in the book Paul talked about how his last conversation he had with John was about baking bread. He said they were able to talk about something peaceful and simple. He said that's basic to life. He said he's not sure if they ever got to the real issues.
Howard said he's thinking John would be bad mouthing the book if he was alive. He said you know that he'd be saying something about it. Robin said you only do that to people you love. Robin said you don't do that with people you hate. She said it's kind of a love.
Howard said maybe he will play this song ''Dear Friend.'' He said it drives him crazy how critical of Paul John was. He said Paul finally broke down and wrote this song. He played some of the song. He said he quotes some of those lines all the time. He said ''You took your lucky break and broke it in two'' is a line he quotes all the time.
Howard said he went on a walk with Beth yesterday and she hears all of this stuff. He said that he did a whole speech on that lyric. He said it drives him crazy when people do that. He said people have no common sense. He said he had a friend who was on top of the world and he went and fucked it up. He said he knows people who work on this show go and fuck it up. He said some people aren't comfortable winning. He said they want to be at the bottom of the barrel. He said it's easier to be at the bottom.
Howard said you have to know when you have your lucky break. He said he got a lucky break with this radio show. He said he had Rupert Murdoch trying to get him on FOX and he didn't take that lucky break and break it in two. He said look at what they did to Chevy Chase. He said Joan Rivers too. He said they brought him in secretly to the Joan Rivers show and they asked what he'd do if they put him on in place of Joan. He said he was thinking about how they could unseat the queen and make him king. He said radio is treacherous but TV is even worse.
Howard said just look at what they did to Chevy Chase. He said they were so behind the guy but then 9 weeks later they destroyed the guy. He said one of the things he figured was whenever he got fired he had to get out ahead of it and get his story out first. He said that's the story that sticks. He said everything is fucked up.
Howard said don't take your lucky break and break it in two. He said that's what Paul was saying to John. He said they were so good together and why did he have to go and fuck it up.
Robin said they changed the world. She said they changed music and fashion. Howard said Paul talks about getting into business with this guy Allan Klein. He said John refused to do it. He said it turns out Paul was right. He said that's when he wrote that line about taking his lucky break and breaking it in two. He said what a great song. He said that's what the book is about. He said Paul writes about what was going on at the time in his life and where the songs came from. He said it's broken down into about 164 songs. He said he might be the greatest song writer of all time. Robin said of our time maybe. Howard asked who is better. Robin said she's not sure what has gone on in the past. Howard said maybe some dude in cave man times a guy was writing songs. He said aside from that he has to say it has to be Paul. He said forget the Beatles albums. He said it's mind blowing what Paul has done. He said it's not even humanly possible to have so many songs from two guys.
Howard said he has no problem saying this guy is the greatest song writer of all time. He said he doesn't think in the history of music that anyone will ever have that kind of accomplishment from two guys again. He said you will never see this again. He said when you hear this guy for an hour just pay attention. He said we're lucky enough to be alive while this guy is alive. He said some day someone will ask you what he was like. He said that's how important this guy is.
Howard said Billy Joel and Elton John will tell you that too. Robin said that we don't know what was going on before this time though. She said you just know about your time. Howard told her to stop it. Fred played High Pitch Erik telling his dog to ''stop it.''
Howard said this is the guy. He said when he writes a book he pays attention. He said this is as close to Jesus as you'll get. He said John Lennon once said that the Beatles are more important than Jesus and people didn't understand what he was saying. Howard said he did. He said he spent a lot of time with religion. He said he had a lot of training but he never had a feeling for it like he did when he first put on a Beatles album. He said he had a calming and elevating feeling that should have been religion. He said John and Paul created a religious experience. He said this guy is a living embodiment of a higher power. He said his talent is magical.
Howard said the world was following what they did. He said that's what John meant. He said he wasn't being disrespectful to people who follow religion. He said that they were moving people more than even religion does. He said the world was going to shit. He said a lot of shit went down in the name of religion. Robins said it's still happening. Howard said there was some real powerful stuff in that music. He said it's an amazing thing. He said there is hope. He said this guy can't read or write music. He said he channels it from a place that's crazy. He said he can't read or writ music and he's not sure what he's even saying right now. He said that's how profound it is.
Howard said enough about Paul. He said that he'll talk to him later. He said he felt inspired to say this. He said he hopes Paul hears a tape of this. He said he's just saying how he feels about the guy. He said they got to live during the time of Paul and John Lennon and during the time of Steve Jobs. He said these people are moving the world and shaking it up. Robin said yeah, unlike Congress.
Howard said things are so fucking weird. He said he has to get back to Brian Williams. He said he's not sure how they got so sidetracked. He said the question was posed to him about Brian Williams and what it is that led to this. He said that Jason told him about the contract and a pay cut he figured that's what it must be. He said the guy is really good on MSNBC. He said the guy may have shined more after being suspended for lying. He said that he most guys are just puppets who read from a teleprompter. He said the guy is good. He said he thinks he blossomed over there at MSNBC.
Howard said you'd be shocked at what they get for a minute of commercial time at FOX and news channels like that. He said that it's not that much. He said unfortunately for the performers it ain't the performer. He said it's the channel. He said he's saying that you take Bill O'Reilly and he was the top guy on cable news. He said this guy was fired and they put in Tucker Carlson. He said that guy was working on Bubba's show. He said now he's on there and Bubba is living in a van. He said that Tucker would come on and talk to Bubba. He said you think he's kind of intelligent but he's just doing Bubba's show. He said then they put him on FOX news and he's all in. He said they forgot all about Bill O'Reilly. He said that Megyn Kelly left and went to do another channel and they forgot all about her too. He said a lot of the people will find someone else to stick on there who will do as well as Brian Williams. He said he's not sure what they're offering him but you have to realize who you are and why people are talking about you.
Howard said he doesn't have the answers. He said he's not a reporter. He said he's just spewing a bunch of shit.
Howard said Brian has just over a million viewers. He said Rachel Maddow has just under 2 million. He said she's the biggest star over there. He said that she's great. He said she reminds him of Paul Harvey. He said she has to be on MSNBC. He said it's a perfect plug in for her. He said that they gave her a big contract and now she wants to do a show once a week. He asked if she thinks she's Howard Stern. He said that's putting thoughts in his head. He said he shows up 3 times a week and that's under protest.
Howard said Brian Williams came back and worked his way back up to where he was. He said he's not sure what he's going to do if he retires. Robin said a lot of people have broken their lives in two. SHE said that Paula Zahn is one. She said she got into a contract dispute and she left and now on Sunday mornings on A&E or something she's interviewing some guy who plays the cello. She said you don't want to do that. Howard said he hears that. He said playing the cello is fucked up.
Howard said if you want to win this woman's heart you have to open up to her. He said that she was telling everyone that she has to hear something fucked up that happened to you. He said she wants them to open up to her. Howard said he'd open up to her and tell her a few things. He said he'd tell her that his mother would embarrass him and write notes about his room not being clean enough and then hit him with a hanger.
Howard said it was Ricks's turn to open up. He said you've never heard anything like it. He said this guy started in with the vocal fry thing. He said you never hear guys doing that but this guy Rick was doing it. He said psychiatrists tell you that women do it to sound more intelligent. He said they have normal voices but then they talk like this. He demonstrated it. Howard said he never heard of this until The Bachelorette. He said this guy Rick has it so bad he doesn't know what he was saying at times. He said he mumbling his comments to this woman. He said he sounds like a frog.
Howard said the sadder the story gets the worse the vocal fry gets. Howard did his impression of what it sounded like. Howard said the kicker to the story is that the vocal fry was so bad that the Bachelorette started doing the same thing.
Howard played some clips of this guy Rick talking with this vocal fry thing. Howard said he sounded like a frog. He laughed as the first clip was playing. Howard said he asked his wife if he was losing his hearing. He said she didn't understand what he was saying either.
Howard said vocal fry is contagious. He said you hear her start doing it later. He played another clip of Rick talking to Michelle about his family and some things that happened to him. Howard did his impression of the guy's vocal fry during the clip. He said he'd rather live alone than live with a guy who has that going on. He said his tale of whoa is that his parents broke up. He said half the world ends up in divorce so get over it.
Howard played more of the audio and Rick was talking about his parents break up. Howard said this fucking guy went through his dad's phone and ratted him out. Howard did his impression of what that would sound like if he did that with his parents.
Howard said he broke the bro-code big time. He said they're both dudes and you don't do that. He said look at what you've done. He said his dad would have yelled at him for not being a man if he did that to him. He was doing impressions of his mom and dad talking to him about his dad's ''side poon.''
Howard said the story is basically that he ratted out his old man. He played more audio of Rick talking to Michelle about what happened. Rick told her about how he found his dad on the ground. He said his dad may have blamed him because he blew the whistle. Howard said he's not sure if he killed himself or what.
Howard said this guy went and told mom. Howard was making up what that conversation could have sounded like. He was doing impressions of his parents again and telling his mom about his dad having rubbers that he wasn't using with her.
Howard said then this woman starts in with her vocal fry. Howard played some audio of Michelle talking to Rick about his wounds and scars and she starts to have her vocal fry. Howard said if they get married they're going to have little tadpoles together. Fred would throw in a frog drop occasionally during the clips. Howard said it's like Lurch on The Addams Family. He said he had vocal fry.
Howard did more of his impression of his parents talking about this stuff. He had vocal fry when he would tell The Bachelorette about what happened.
Howard said Michelle tells Rick that she was never seen when she was a child. He said Rick makes her feel seen. Howard said Robin has to do that whole story about her dad fiddling with her privates and every dude will want to marry her.
Howard played more of Rick and Michelle. She asked Rick if he would accept this rose. Of course he did. Howard said they deserve each other. Robin said that's what happens when you're into someone. She said you start to mirror their behavior.
Howard said he got a little sexy time with Beth last night. He said he thinks he got back in her good graces by washing the dishes. He said on Sunday she was going to make the bed but he ran up and did it before she could. He said that goes a long way. Robin said it goes a long way in a lot of homes.
Howard said everything we do is just to get laid. He said after dinner he asked if she was ready to go. He said she was saying that she can't sleep in the same bed with him if they do it. He said they always do. He said that she was saying if they take time now she has to do all of her cat rounds after they bang. He said that it would get so late that he'd fall asleep. He said she didn't want to wake him up. He said he doesn't take that long with her. He said he could knock it out in 10 minutes. He said he's not sure why she thinks that he can last that long. He said he doesn't need much. He said you have to just do your business and get out. He said women don't want you to keep going forever. He said porn will warp you. Robin said not every woman is the same. She said that not every woman wants it to be that short. Howard said he knows what his wife wants. He said he didn't see how her whole cat schedule was going to be off by more than 7 minutes. He said they finished off and they were done by 6:27 or so. He said that he was able to stay up. He said he showered and washed off his area. He said he did a nice clean up. He said he's all minty fresh down there. He said he went online and played chess with some dude.
Howard said he was playing some quick games and did pretty well. He said he won 4 out of 5 games with the guy. He said it felt good to play a little bit. He said he put himself to bed after that and then Beth came to bed. He said they were watching some show on HBOMax. He said it's a little love story show. Robin said she's not sure what that would be. Howard said it's called Love Life. He said the second season is good. He said it has this guy who gets divorced and is dating. He said it's very Sex and the City-ish. He said that Robin will love this. He said he knows she's always looking for something to watch. Robin said she's into the show Condor right now. She said it's great.
Howard said he has to take a break here. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and sang along with Willie. He said he knows the microphone wasn't on because that would be way too emotional to open up to Robin like that. He said Willie must be up there in age too. He said he's a great guest. He said he didn't write this song. He said it was Wayne Carson who wrote it. He said the guy was at the recording studio and his wife asked why and he said that he's always got her on his mind. He said he hung up and wrote the song. Howard said Willie is 80 years old. He said he hopes he's okay. He said that guy is fucking cool. He said he digs those braids and the big beard. He loves it. He said he loves that whole transition from the suit and tie to what he wears now. He said he's like George Carlin. He said at some point he started smoking weed and he'd show up in jeans and things on Carson.
Howard said he has so much to talk about here. He said he got nervous about Peloton. He said he's always on his. He said they were saying that their stock fell and that's it. Robin said their stock took a big fall from about $200 to $50. Howard said their business went berserk during the pandemic. He said they were doing so well for a while. He said the thing went through the roof. He said they weren't able to manufacture the bikes fast enough so they bought their own plant to do it. He said of course things fell off. He said they'd have to start a new pandemic to get the levels back up to where they were.
Howard said that's capitalism. He said if you don't grow every year then you're done. Robin said they came out with a treadmill. She said kids were ending up under them so that wasn't good. She said they took that out of production for a while. Robin said they brought it back and then lowered the price of the bike. She said it was supposed to be a luxury thing but then they brought it out for everyone. She said that didn't go over very well. Robin said they're trying to figure out what they do to keep people involved. She said you can pause the live class now. Howard said that's the new feature.
Howard said when you're a kid you think your parents are the smartest people. He said his father would yell at him over everything so he figured he was smart. He said the first crack in that armor was about bicycles. He said his father had a recording studio and it was expensive to upgrade the studio. He said you had to do that to get business though. He said his dad came home one day almost smiling. He didn't smile much. He said one day his dad came in and he was all happy that this bicycle company was going to invest in his studio and they were going to give him a part of their business. Howard said this was around the time that bikes were getting big. He said that his father had stock in the company. He said his dad was carrying on about that and he was acting like a business genius. He said his dad was in a good mood. He said then the guys invested and his dad would see the bicycle industry mentioned in Forbes. He said he was so happy about it.
Howard said his dad was right. He said the bicycle industry blew up. He said they couldn't keep bikes in stock. He said then his old man went to where they manufacture the bikes and he said they don't know what they're doing over there. He said his dad was pissed that Consumer Reports said it was the shittiest bicycle ever made. Robin asked why he was going there after making the deal instead of before. Howard said that's what he's saying. He said he'd ask his dad about this stuff and he'd get yelled at. He said the whole thing went bankrupt and his dad had to buy back his company from them. He said it was a disaster. He said he realized his dad didn't know that much. He said they had to redecorate the house and he asked what happened to the stock and got yelled at.
Howard said he's not sure how you fuck up making a bike but this company did. He said his father was so upset. He did his impression of his dad and said he's not sure what that accent was that he had.
Howard said he thought his mother was a genius too. He said when Liberace came on she'd say that he was a ''fagella.'' He said that's what they said back then. He said that she'd tell him that he was gay. He said he didn't believe it. He said she was very liberal so it wasn't in a negative way. He said he didn't know he was fagella. He said he got older and realized she wasn't so smart. He said that everyone knew. He said he had a fear that he didn't know but he was young. He said when his kids were little he'd make a piece of tissue disappear and he'd drop it on the floor so he wasn't doing anything great. He said his mother wasn't doing anything great either. He said he admired his mother for knowing that stuff though. He said he thought she was a very evolved woman but she really knew nothing.
Howard said he was on his Peloton yesterday with Hannah Corbin. He said she likes to talk about her husband. He said that it's best if you don't talk about that stuff. He said that guys want to pretend that women like that aren't married. He said it's like what he said about Emily Ratajkowski yesterday. He said maybe guys don't want to see her baby and husband. He said that you want to feel like you're with a sexy gal.
Howard played a clip of Hannah getting people into their workout and talking about her husband. Howard said you don't want to hear that stuff. He said this guy is running 5 miles every 4 hours for 24 hours. Howard said they get it, he fucks her better than any of us losers could. He said he can't run 5 miles every 4 hours. He said that he's superior to all of them.
Howard said we get that she's in love and no one cares. He said that Beth will walk by and ask how his girlfriend is today. He said he'll tell her what she's wearing and how she's got her hair. He said Beth won't come look though. He said she doesn't care.
Howard played more of Hannah talking about her husband. Howard said they can't say anything controversial. He said she's actually a good instructor. He said she doesn't talk that much about her husband. He said that Hannah and Jen are the best. He said they have to tell you something but they can't be controversial. She says stuff like ''Fun fact, I don't like cookies.''
Howard said Hannah's husband is a track and field level 1 fitness coach. Howard said ''Hmmm.'' Robin asked if that means something. Howard said he's not sure. He said he was a stage manager before turning to coaching. Howard said all he understands is that he's gross and her husband is hot.
Howard said there are so many gracious people who are left to be studied. He said the reason he brings this up is because of this story. He said this World War II veteran donated his body to science for research. He said they took his body and dissected it in front of a paying crowd at an oddities expo. He said the guys have been talking about this for 2 days. He said the widow of the man wasn't told that this was going to happen. He said it happened in a ballroom at some hotel. He said that this is some audio from a local news affiliate reporting on the story.
Howard played the clip of the news report. The veteran was 98 years old and people were able to touch the body as it was happening. THE guy died of COVID so they were touching a body that had COVID. He said he's not sure who would pay $500 a ticket to poke some guy's nuts while he's dead. Robin said there is a display that goes around the country where people do that.
Howard said this guy tried to do something good for society and this is what happened to him. Robin said that there should be some organization that takes the bodies and makes sure they get used properly. Howard said this is a job for Robin. He said that she'd be good at organizing this. Robin said it was a total waste for this guy. Howard said it's not the only one either.
Howard read about another one where a woman donated her body and it ended up with the army being used for blast testing. Howard said they blew up a truck to see what would happen to the body. He said that's horrible. Robin said that's not science. She said they know what happens when you blow it up.
Howard said in Arizona in 2019 the FBI raided a body donation company. He said they found bodies sewn together Frankenstein style. He said a reporter was able to buy two heads and a spine. Howard said there are a lot of weirdos out there. He said he was into buying animal skulls and stuff. He said one day someone said to him that he had a human skull to sell. He said he was going to buy it but that was some dude's head. He said it was too creepy so he passed.
Robin said she's learning how terrible people can be. She said that she's learned a lot of that during the pandemic. She said there's no way she's donating her body now that she knows this stuff.
Howard said this guy was laying in a morgue. He said this guy was charged with getting to bodies in a morgue while working as an electrician. Robin said she's never going outside again. Howard said he does tell her to stay inside.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was listening to Stranglehold the other day and wondered why Ted Nugent isn't considered a great guitarist. Howard said he is a great guitarist. He said he was very cutting edge. He said he's not sure if he's in the hall of fame. He said it might be his politics. He said he was great. Fred played some Stranglehold and Howard talked it up like he was back at WNBC.
Howard said he didn't want to go into top 40 radio because he didn't want to worry about hitting the post. He said he had friends who would talk the songs up so fast. He said they were just trying to hit that post.
Howard said Gary said he would never consider Ted because of his politics. Gary said it's not that. He said it's just not his cup of tea. He said he had a couple of hits but not a long career. Howard said he's a really good guitar player though. The caller said that he was the lead singer playing like a bad ass too. He said he wasn't just doing one thing.
Howard said he can cut his toe nails and talk on the phone at the same time. Robin said he had a large and loyal following too. Howard said he did. He said Gary might be right about him having too many props though. He said if you come out in a loin cloth then maybe you're not going to get into the hall of fame.
Gary said he's never been nominated so he's not keeping the guy out. He said he just knows a couple of his songs. Fred played some of the songs they were talking about. Gary said he has a song called ''Dog Eat Dog.'' Howard said he didn't get what he was saying. He said he thought it was ''Doggy Dog.''
Howard talked up Cat Scratch Fever and then Fred played ''Dog Eat Dog'' so he talked that one up.
Howard said there you go. He said he has to take a break and get to Paul McCartney. He said he might be the most important man in history. He said that's how he feels anyway. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he thought he'd play some Foo Fighters because Paul inducted the Foo Fighters into the hall of fame recently.
Howard said Paul has done it all. He said when he talks you listen. He said he's getting set up with his microphone and all of that. He said that he's on to promote his book ''The Lyrics.''
Howard said his book is full of pictures and Linda took a lot of them. He said that Linda also grabbed the lyrics and made a scrap book for him. He said a lot of the Beatles stuff wasn't saved though. Robin said Paul told a story about how someone had the lyrics that he collected when they were creating the songs. Howard said Linda was doing the right thing by saving them.
Howard got Paul on and said he's the greatest living song writer of all time. He said he has to take a look at him. He asked if he's hearing him. Paul said he is but he's not answering to that intro. He said he is no in fact the greatest. Howard said he is though. He said he lived in the same time frame as he lived and he's so proud of that. He said that he's just talking about the Beatles albums. He said he's not getting into his solo stuff.
Howard said he got into it with a friend going back and forth about the best Beatles albums. He said they kept going back and forth. He asked Paul what the best one is. Paul said he has the same problem as he does. He said they did a lot of good stuff. He said that it's hard to judge. He said Revolver was a big turning point. He said he felt like they were walking up this staircase at that point. He said he doesn't know what the best one is.
Howard said the book is called ''The Lyrics.'' He said he realizes how smart Linda was for saving all of that stuff. He said she saved the lyrics and more. He said she put it all in a scrap book for him. Paul said it was smart. He said they never thought about it. He said they only used them to write. He said in the studio they just did it to remember the lyrics. He said they'd walk away and leave them there. He said one particular guy saved them and collected them. He said years later he was taking his daughter through a museum library in England and they had the lyrics there. He said one of the cases had his written lyrics for ''Yesterday.'' Howard asked where he is today. Paul said he's in his office. He said that he has an office away from his home. He said he likes his home to be the home and not have a studio there. He said he likes to go to the office old school.
Howard said he must have instruments in the house. Paul said he does. Howard said Elton John said he has no instruments in his house. He said that's mind blowing to him. Paul said that must be his sanctuary so he can just forget about that. He said he has something there so he can write if he wants to. He said he likes them as well. He said he's happy to have them there. He said he has a guitar there in the office.
Howard asked if he plays every day. Paul said not every day. He said he doesn't try to write a song every day. He said you might get an idea and you want to try writing something. He said you might have something late at night after a drink and you make something as a drunken uncle.
Howard said he loves his book. He said that his memory isn't all there but when he hears a song he can remember things. He said he can remember how he wrote the song and that's what the concept of the book is. He said he loved him talking about the song ''Confidante.'' He said he talks about how you treat the guitar like a woman and keep it close. He said the piano you push away. He said he never thought about it that way. Paul said he had a piano in his house that his dad used to play. He said the first thing that was his was his guitar. He said it's a precious thing for you. He said he would talk to the guitar about how he felt and that's where that came from. He said that the best place to go not to be heard was under the staircase and that was his friend who lived there under the staircase. Howard said he never looked at an instrument like that. He said he really is talking to his guitar. He said it's like a relationship with a man and a woman. Paul said that you tell it all of your secrets. He said if you're having a bad day or a bit pissed you can pick up the guitar and get away from the world and find a quiet place to start strumming it. He said you feel better right away. He said that if you're lucky you have the time to make a song that makes the situation better. He said he wrote ''For No One'' doing that. He said he had a girlfriend named Jane Asher at the time and they had a disagreement and he went off and started writing. He said he wrote that song and got it all off his chest and it's like going through a therapy session.
Howard said he was reading the book and this woman Jane seemed like a great love of his. He said he wrote about the first time he told her he loves her. He said she seemed like a great love. He asked what went wrong. Paul said it's life's little things. He said he actually does know. He said they were good with each other but the idea of settling down forever he didn't think they were compatible enough to do that. He said it was so nearly right but not. He said the not is why they didn't marry. He said shortly after that he met Linda and he felt the opposite way. He said he felt like she was the one he could spend his life with.
Howard said he goes crazy with old girlfriends to see how they have aged on Facebook. He said he went on some web site to see what Jane looks like. He said she had 5 kids and she looks very good. Howard asked if Paul ever does that. Paul said that's perverted. He said that's the diary of a pervert. Howard asked why that is. Paul said he's joking. He said he just doesn't do that. Howard said he has been very good with women.
Howard said Paul is incredibly good with women. He said he never let his stardom get to him. He said he never got carried away. He said he thinks he's very grounded and that's reflected in his family. Howard said Paul can't read or write music formally. He said that's insane to him. Paul said it really is. He said especially when you're doing orchestral music. He said when you're in a group you just show someone how you do something. He said he and the band had grown up doing it so he would just show the guys what he wanted to do. He said they had George Martin to help and they never had to put it down on paper. He said George would write it down for them. He said they were covered in that area.
Paul said must later on he was asked to write for a symphony orchestra and he wrote something for them and he had to have a friend sit by him to write it all down. He said he'd hum it and the guy would write it down for him.
Howard asked if it frustrates him that he has to have other guys write it down. Paul said it's nice actually. He said it's nice to have someone else in the room. He said it's fine and he likes the whole process.
Howard said he was saying in the book that ''Eleanor Rigby'' is very simplistic. Howard said he went and got his guitar and tried to play it. He said that he started strumming E minor and C and he realized that it's that simple. He asked if he thinks that he wouldn't have simplified it so much if he knew how to write music. Paul said that you can know too much. He said that he'd say if you're learning music that's great too. He said don't give up. He said none of them could handle music lessons because it was boring to them. He said the teachers would make you do things that you didn't want to do. He said what they used to do was make it all up. He said they were in a group and they all understood what to do.
Paul told Howard about writing a song and how they had to have a trumpet player come in to play and he asked what they wanted him to play. He said they had to write something down for him. He said the rest of the guys were able to make it up in the room. Howard said the best part in the book is that he was sitting there putting together Penny Lane and they brought in the best Piccolo Trumpet guy and he thought that he couldn't hit this high note. He said Paul told him to just try it and he was able to do it. Paul said he did it and he thinks it plagued him the rest of his career. He said that's the kind of fun they had. He said if he was classically trained he may not have asked him to play that note because he would have known it was out of range.
Howard asked if there are songs he listens to now that he hates. He said he talked to Billy Joel the other day about how he hates Captain Jack because it's boring to him. Howard asked Paul if he hears songs that he doesn't like and could have done better. Paul said he thinks so. He said he has songs that lyrically aren't that great. He said ''Rock Show'' is one. He said that there's a lot in that song he doesn't particularly like. He said he was performing with some younger guys and they wanted to perform the song. He said that they like that kind of stuff so that almost changes his mind about it. He said they did try it but they don't do it these days.
Howard asked Paul about the Epiphone guitar that's his favorite. He said that he heard Jimi Hendrix playing one with feedback and that's what he had. Howard said all of these influences come to him. He said when he hears a song that's kind of shitty but it's a hit does he wonder what they have spawned. Paul said you hear those songs and just think you won't be buying that one. He said someone has to like it. He said you just get your favorites. He said he'd be listening to Jimi or Bob Dylan or someone like that. He said he would just concentrate on them and let the other stuff go by.
Howard said in the book he talks about doing hand exercises. He said his father was a piano player and he had arthritis. He said Paul is very worried about that. He said he doesn't want to be like his father. Paul said he is conscious of it and someone told him how to do the hand exercises. He showed Howard what he does. He said if you keep them moving it helps. He said you do a little bit every so often and it keeps your hands loose.
Howard said Paul plays the bass but he didn't want to play it. He said none of the other dudes wanted to do it so he did it. Howard said he didn't know that's why he did it. Howard said that's crazy. He said he tried to play lead but he got nervous and choked. Paul said in a very early formation of the group he was able to do a guitar solo and then they went to do it in this place in Liverpool. He said it came to his turn and his fingers didn't move. He said he was clonking away so he figured he had to forget it and not play lead guitar anymore. He said then George came in the group and didn't have that problem. Paul said they ended up in Hamburg and he was playing guitar then. He said he had such a cheap instrument because his dad didn't want him to be in debt. He said he got a very cheap guitar but it looked good. He said it fell apart in Hamburg. He said he didn't have a guitar so he would play piano instead. He said their bass player, Stewart, had decided to stay in Hamburg and they had to find a bass player. He said that John and George said they're not doing it so it was kind of dumped on him. He said he thought it was boring until he heard James Jameson from Detroit Motown and then he realized what he could do with the bass. Howard said some of those bass lines are unbelievable. He said he took it to another level.
Howard said he loves this book. He said that he talks about the songs and explains what was going on. Howard played some ''All My Loving'' and talked to Paul about what was happening with the guitar in that song with John. Paul said it's the kind of thing that John would do. He said they didn't know what to do so they just did what they wanted to.
Howard said with ''I Want To Hold Your Hand'' they didn't want to come to America unless they had a number 1 hit. He said they did it with this song. He said the rest is history. Paul said Americans weren't that interested in their stuff. He said they had Elvis and people like that. He said they couldn't be copies of Elvis. He said he was miles better. He said they saw this happening over there and said they can't go there until they had a number 1. He said they were doing well over there in England and Europe. He said then this suddenly happens.
Howard said holding back and waiting was a brilliant strategy. He said when they stopped off the plane everyone was waiting. Paul said that was the idea. He said they got off the plane and they had a number one song. He said it was the number one act arriving. He said they had the press asking them questions and what do you say to that. Howard asked why they were so hostile toward them. Paul said that they had to be at the time. He said they didn't like them just because the girls liked them.
Paul said they did a photo session in Central Park and when they finished it up they were asking for one more for the west coast. He said they were just showing that New York kind of thing. He said they knew what it was like because they were from Liverpool.
Howard said when the song got to number 1 in America they were sent a telegram. He said they were in Paris at the time. Howard asked if there's a greater high than that moment. Paul said it was a huge moment. He said that they were jumping around the room when they found out. He said they were riding around the room on the roadie's back. Howard asked how old they were. Paul said early 20s. He said it was a great moment.
Howard said he loves this book ''The Lyrics.'' He said in the book he writes that one of the best songs he ever wrote was this one. He played some of ''I Saw Her Standing There.'' Howard said he was shocked by that. Howard talked to him about what he wrote about writing that song and some of the lyrics he left out. Paul said that they were playing the White House for President Obama and Jerry Seinfeld was there and doing a chat about stuff. He said he was there with the President and Jerry and the whole thing was amazing. He said Jerry asked him about his lyrics about ''she was just 17... and you know what I mean'' and Jerry said he's not sure they do know what he means. Howard said Jerry is very funny.
Howard asked Paul about how he was going out with a bunch of comedians and how he got to hear about the rooms they played. Paul said that was fun.
Howard played ''And I Love Her'' and said that's a nice song. Howard said what he was curious about is the intro to that song. He said his memory of that is that George Martin wanted an intro and he wrote it on the spot. Howard said that wasn't in his head when he wrote the song. He said that's the best part of the Beatles that they were able to come up with that kind of stuff. Paul said you wouldn't have thought about an intro. He said the grown up said they needed one so they had to come up with something. He said George Harrison came up with that. He said it was nice and there they had it. He said what would that song be without that. Paul said that George Martin thought they needed the intro and George Harrison came up with it. He said they lived in each other's pockets for years and it was an intimacy so they knew what the other guys were thinking a lot of the time. Howard said it's insane that you can rely on your mate like that.
Howard said ''Can't Buy Me Love'' is a great song. He said he wrote a song at 16 years old and he gave it away to another band. He said that song knocked them off the number 1 chart. He said that's wild. He said that he wrote ''A World Without Love'' at 16. Howard said that song is the one that knocked them off the chart. Howard said the guys thought it wasn't a Beatles song but it really is. Paul said looking back on it you can say that. He said it's like an old suit or something. He said you just think you don't really like that and wonder why it's in your wardrobe. He said that he gave the song to his girlfriend's brother so that was good in her eyes. He said he didn't mind that it went to number 1. He said he was the writer of it so it didn't bother him.
Howard played some ''Yesterday'' and said that might be the best song ever. He said he remembers seeing Paul performing that song alone on stage. He said he had never seen them do that before. He said they had never put out a solo song before that one. He said that's kind of generous that John was able to take himself out of it. Paul said they were very honest with each other. He said he was kind of embarrassed to go out and do it on his own. He said it was just him on a solo guitar. He said the guys told him they can't just put drums in there. He said that it was embarrassing and they elected not to do it as a single in Britain. He said that they insisted in America so it was a single there.
Howard said that the guys had a good thing and they didn't piss it away. He said they had some great music. Howard played ''Drive My Car'' and said that Paul said this was another simple one. Howard said it's got some simple chords in it. Paul said it's like 3. He said the verse is just the two. Howard said he could jam with him on this. He said he could do that.
Howard played some ''We Can Work It Out'' and said this is his girlfriend again. He said they had a big fight and he figured they would work it out and he wrote a song about it. Paul said that it was a bit of ''Come on girl, you know I'm right.'' going on there. He said just work it out.
Howard asked when George wrote ''Tax Man'' why did he say to him that Paul should play the solo. He said listen to him playing on this. He said he's a show off. Howard said George plays the song for him and Paul has the lead for it. He said George was so impressed that he told him to play the lead. Paul said it was very generous of him. He said in the studio the best idea won. He said they would leave space in there for ideas and he'd do different things. He said he did the solo and George was very happy with it. He said it's a lovely song. He said that George was a very generous guy. He said they could all do something like that. He said Ringo would let him drum occasionally. Howard said it sounds like Ringo was upset though. Paul said it could have been that but he'd just blast through it. He said it didn't seem like that at the time. Howard said it's very gracious of him.
Howard asked if he was shocked when they brought in Clapton to play on ''While My guitar Gently Weeps.'' Paul said there were no rivalries going on like people thought there were. He said they were just happy to be able to do what they were doing. He said they were all coming from London and buying smart clothes and things. He said they were all mates. He said Eric was one of them. He said George knew him and it didn't end up well that he knew him because he did take George's wife. Howard said that's scandalous. Paul said it was. He said that he didn't know the circumstances there. He said he felt sorry for George though. Howard said when he runs off with her then do you go to the wedding or send a gift. He said they should have gone over and beaten him up as a group. Paul said he did not go to the wedding. He said that things didn't work out. Howard said maybe he did him a favor.
Howard said Paul sings so beautifully but he says on ''Eleanor Rigby'' he didn't think he could sing it. Howard said he told George Martin that. Howard said he can't imagine that he would say that. He asked what it is about the vocal that's so tough. Paul said when you write it you hear it in a certain way in your head. He said this was just strings doing the backing and he had to listen to them and insert himself into it. He said that wasn't so easy. He said that it was one of those songs he didn't think he was nailing. He said it happens a lot. He said if you record you get that. He said you think you'll never get it. He said he used to do Little Richard's ''Kansas City'' and he remembers John asking how he did it. He said that he did this little scream thing. He said that he told him he doesn't know. He said it just comes out the top of his head. He said they didn't say anymore about it after that until he came to the session. He said they were doing the backing track and he was trying to summon it up but he wasn't able to get it out. He said John came down from the control room and told him it comes out the top of his head, remember. He said then it came to him.
Howard said it's great to hear that stuff. He said it's nice to know that he struggles. He said it's inspiring. He said he thought it was sweet in the book that he talked about the last conversation he had with John Lennon. He said they talked about baking bread. He said it's almost a full circle kind of thing. He said that actually made him sad. Paul said it's glad they had reached that point. He said they had gone through a lot and it was all very painful. He said they gradually started piecing it together. Paul told Howard about a bread shortage they had and how he had ended up talking to John about that. He said it was just two guys talking about making bread. He said it was a nice chat. He said he was so glad they got back to that relationship they always had as kids.
Howard said he likes that he wrote this song ''Dear Friend'' and it was about John. He said that John kind of bullied him in a sense. He said that they were no longer together but John had to give him a dig after everything he did. Howard said if he put out a book he'd still be giving him a hard time. He said he didn't have to do that. Paul said he'd swap it all out for him to be alive. Howard said he understands that. Paul said that's just John. He said he's just like that. He said the next minute he doesn't think like that. He said he'd get over it. He said sometimes you'd get annoyed. He said not often though. He said you'd think he was a dick but then you get over it.
Howard said he's so thin skinned that he gets upset when people badmouth him. He said that he was so good to some people and they bad mouth him. He said Paul must have felt like that with John. He said that's what that ''Dear Friend'' was about. Paul said there were some very sad moments for him after the band broke up. He said that he must have thought ''what the fuck'' a few times. He said that they didn't have to get like that. He said you'd just steam roll your way through it. He said then you just realize it's John again.
Paul said that he'd get upset with John after he'd say something and then he'd see that and he'd lower his glasses and say ''It's only me'' and put his glasses back on. He said that's what it was.
Howard said John had a rough life. Paul said he did. He said you can't expect someone to come off that life and not put up some sort of shield. Howard said it's understanding of him. He said you have to protect yourself too though.
Howard asked Paul why he says in the book that he gets more requests for ''Rocky Racoon'' even though he's never done it live. Howard asked what the hang up is. Paul said it's a lot of words to learn. He said just go to the movies instead. Howard said there are so many songs. Paul said he has thought about doing it but it's sheer laziness. He said one of these days he'll get around to it.
Howard said check out Paul's book ''The Lyrics'' because it's really good. He said he talks about so many things like the stuttering in ''Birthday.'' He said that was just their reaction to stuttering in The Who's song and a Bowie song.
Paul said that he hears Robin in the background there. Robin said hello. She said she could listen to this all day. Howard said just a few more minutes.
Howard said Paul was in the room with Roy Orbison when he wrote ''Pretty Woman.'' Paul said he was on a bus actually. He said it was an empty bus but on the back seat was Roy writing this song. He said it was really something else to hear that. He said he has students in his old school that he talks to about writing songs and sometimes they're very nice and they just trail off. He said he tells them to have an ending for a song like Roy did.
Howard said Paul also talks about ''Jet'' and how you just end up screaming in that. Howard said that he didn't knows he was teaching classes. Paul said that he and John went to this school where they had girls around but they never saw them. He said it made them sex maniacs knowing they were there over a wall. He said that they actually saved that school after it was going to be shut down. He said he goes there for graduations and things like that. He said that they have all kinds of arts being taught there. He said he sees the song writers and talks to them about what they're doing there. He said he gives advice when they need it. Howard said that's very nice of him to do that.
Howard said Paul looks fucking great. Paul said Howard looks great too. Howard said he doesn't have to say that. He said he has so much to talk about but he's getting the hi sign. He asked what he's doing today. Paul said he has to see some people today. He said he's going to have a bagel soon too. He said he's having a toasted bagel with marmite on it. He said you either love that or hate it. He said you put that on it and some humus.
Howard said Paul has done it again. He said he gave him a book that was a great idea. He said he thinks other musicians are going to do the same thing. He said he goes through his songs and talks about what was going on at the time. He said you can check the book out and it's called ''The Lyrics.''
Howard said he loves doing this. Paul said he loves talking to Howard too. Howard said he got so jealous of the thing he did with Rick Rubin. He said he couldn't handle it. Paul said Rick is a good guy. He said he wasn't two timing him. Howard said he gets that. He said he knows what he has to do today. He said he's going to eat a bagel and watch the movie ''Help'' over and over again in a loop. Paul said that he does watch it with the kids. He said you see it through new eyes when you do that.
Robin and Howard said goodbye to Paul. Paul said a bagel calls. Howard let him go.
Robin said she got emotional listening to those stories. Howard said it's the songs and the stories. He said he was going through the book last night and trying to figure out how many songs he could get to. He said he got to about half of what he wanted to get to. He said the problem he had was that there were so many songs. He said it's a nice compilation. Robin asked when the book comes out. Howard said he thinks it's out now. Jon Hein said it is out now.
Howard said he read this book on Kindle. He said he should just buy it so he can see the pictures. He said what an opportunity to interview that guy. He said may he live forever. He said he looks good too. Robin said he does. Howard said he just loves that guy so much. He said he gave the world so much.
Robin said when Paul comes it reminds her of waiting for the bus to go to school and they were debating what the songs were about and things like that. she said if those kids knew that she knows Paul now they would have said she was out of her mind. She said it's thrilling to know him.
Howard said they tried to hook her up romantically with Paul. Robin said he was hiding Nancy from her.
Howard said this song ''Dear Prudence'' is another interesting story. He said that Mia Farrow's sister is Prudence and she won't stop meditating eve though the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi tells you that you're not supposed to do that. He said she went overboard with it. He said they wrote a song about it. He said they asked her to come out and play. He said it's such a great story that Paul gets into in the book.
Howard said the song ''Fool on the Hill'' is another song about the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi but it was about people who didn't understand him. He said he wasn't calling the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi the fool on the hill. He said he was making fun of that. He said he's sure he would have clarified all of that if he had spent another 17 hours with them.
Howard said he wanted to talk about ''She Came in Through the Bathroom Window'' which is about a fan breaking into his home through a window. He said the woman stole a picture of his father. He said he's not sure what she'd do with that.
Howard went through some more songs that he wanted to talk to Paul about. He said that Bad Finger was going to do a song that Paul wrote and they didn't want to do it his way. He said that he told them if they did it his way they'd have a hit. Howard said there's some crazy stuff.
Robin said that she was told that one of their songs was about drugs and how dare she sing it. She was singing it and a teacher heard her. Howard said there's so much to dissect with Paul. He said they just run out of time with the guy. He said he always runs out of the room after an hour and a half with the guy.
Howard and Jon were talking about a Badfinger song that they wrote for Harry Nilsson. There was a lot going on with that story.
Robin said she loves that he teaches kids too. Howard said it's so great. He said one of his biggest musical influences is Fred Astaire. He played some of his music and said it does sound something like one of their songs.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just blew him away. He said that he likes to praise Paul and they're amazing. He said that Howard is just as great as Paul is in what he does. He said that he's been great since he came back from vacation. He said he brings all of these stories out and they're so great. He said that he's going to buy the book today. He said he can draw him out with all of these great stories. Howard said that's very nice to say but no one is greater than Paul. He said he loves the guy. The caller said for what Howard does he's great. He said he just had to tell him. Howard thanked him for that. He said that was very nice of him to say that. He said he needed him to say that.
Howard said what a wonderful experience that was. He said anyone could interview that guy. He said Paul is an open book and he loves talking music and his career. Robin said even when they were talking about them getting off the plane for the first time he was looking up and remembering it. She said that was great.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said there are no two greater people than Howard and Paul McCartney. She started rambling so Howard hung up on her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was an amazing interview. He said he's 41 years old now and he's not a huge Beatles fan but he really can draw someone who isn't a fan in. He said he can get them to appreciate a person. Howard said he thinks it'll turn you on to a lot of eye opening stories. He thanked the guy for the call.
Howard said he has to get out of there. Robin said they're going to go have a bagel with Paul. Howard said he wishes.
Howard said he was reading about Golden Slumbers in that book. He said Paul didn't write the lyrics. He said he was told to read a poem and the lyrics came from a book that he read. He asked Jon Hein what that was about. Jon said he looked in a piano bench at his dad's house and the poem was attached to the sheet music. He said he made up the melody to the lyrics that were written on the paper since he can't read sheet music. Howard played the song and let that play for a short time. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am.