Howard started the show talking about how early it is. He said they like to start the show early. He said they enjoy the early morning hours so they can grasp the rest of the day.
Howard answered a knock on the door and it turned out to be fake Whoopi Goldberg. She said she's pissed about Meghan McCain and what she said about her in her book. Howard welcomed Whoopi to the show and had her talk about the most famous movies she's been in and she didn't mention Ghost. Howard said he would have picked that as her biggest. They moved on to talk about the Meghan McCain book. Whoopi took a hit off of her pen and she calmed herself down a little bit. She said she calls that pen her ''sippy'' because she just takes little sips off of it.
Howard said if he took a sip like that he'd be on his ass. Whoopi told him to take a sip with her. Howard said he's old fashioned but he thinks she's self medicating. He said she may not like when people write about her in their books. Whoopi said he thinks he does her a nice service.
Whoopi answered a knock at her door and it was fake Seth Rogen who thought he had smelled weed. Howard said now they have Seth and Whoopi on together. Seth said he's excited. Robin said she can't believe that he's up. Seth said he's been up all night. He said he just made like 85 ceramic balls with his dick.
Howard said he hasn't smoked weed since high school. Seth said back then he was literally smoking grass, like the actual lawn. He said he has to try the new stuff. Howard said he does hear them talking about it and he does sound cool. Seth said he should fucking try it.
Howard said he was watching Seth on Instagram last night and saw him selling his ceramics. He said he was taking a hit and really was smoking. He said Whoopi is doing it with a vape pen. Seth said that's not really smoking. He said he's high as balls and he's already written a whole script this morning and he's high as fuck. He said vapes are like sucking on a robot. He said it's like sucking C3PO's dick.
Howard said everything is divisive now. He said Whoopi and Seth are arguing just like they do on The View. Seth said he needs a hit right now. He took a hit and Whoopi took one off of Sippy.
Howard said he's getting jealous. He said he doesn't make judgments so go ahead and take another hit. They both did. Howard said he's laughing at both of them. Howard said what's killing him is that he can't even drink coffee because his doctor told him not to. He said he doesn't even drink wine.
Howard said he thinks that Seth could accomplish so much more if he didn't smoke weed. He said he could be like Jeff Bezos or someone like that. Seth said he just wrote another script so he's very productive. Whoopi said she likes pineapple flavor in her vape. Seth said pineapple is cool.
Howard said they smoke so much weed that they've forgotten about their fighting earlier. They both forgot about the fight.
Howard said they were fighting about the vape pen earlier. He said this is what he's saying about Seth and smoking weed. He said he can't remember anything. Seth said he doesn't remember it at all. Then Seth realized that Whoopi was there.
Howard said how about they both take a hit and they'll end the show there. He had them both take hits. Howard said it's been a long morning already. He said if they took their hits together maybe that would be cool. Whoopi said maybe she can smoke a bong and Seth can hit the vape pen. Howard said it sounds like Whoopi is in ecstasy when she takes a hit. They both took their hits again. Whoopi sounded like she was having an orgasm from doing it.
Howard said he knows Seth is on the west coast and it's like 4 in the morning. He said it's unbelievable that they can do this so early. Seth said he has so much smoke in front of him it's like a smoke machine.
Howard asked if they can stay on because one of their listeners is doing a bong hit and wants to do one in front of them. Howard took a call from caller Brian who said that he's about ready to smoke. He said he took six hits already today. He said he keeps track every day. He said he's a ''budtender'' so he keeps track of it all.
Brian said he was a bus driver and he changed to a budtender and that's a cultivation technician. He said he grows pot for a living. He said everyone should do that for a living. He said he believes in that a lot. Howard asked how much he can make doing that. Brian said maybe 40-50 grand a year. He said he has all the health benefits from it too. He said it's like any other job. Robin asked if it's a difficult job. Brian said no. Howard asked if he wants to take a hit or not. Brian said yeah he does. Howard had them all do it. Howard let them all go a short time later. Robin said she didn't know Whoopi had gotten into the pot business. She said she didn't know she had her own strain. Howard said don't trust that person they just had on and what they said.
The caller asked if they ever had the Gibbs on at all. Howard said they did back in the day. He said he never did a serious interview with Barry Gibb. He said he has mad respect for him though. The caller said the interviews are amazing. He said you can hear how excited Howard is after interviewing Paul McCartney.
Howard said he has a friend that goes way back to when he was in high school. He said they used to drive to see each other. He said he hadn't heard from him in a while. He said he got a message from Eddie and he was telling him that he never would have believed that his friend Howie would have grown up to interview Paul McCartney. He said Eddie is a musician so he was excited about that. He said it's an amazing thing to talk to Paul.
Howard said the fans wrote in about that too. He read through some of the feedback they got about that interview. He had a bunch of positive comments about it. Howard had some clips from the interview that he played too.
Howard answered a knock on the door and it was John Lennon from Heaven. He was complaining about him not giving him credit in the interviews with Paul. He said he should mention him once in a while. He said if Paul is a knight then he's a king. Howard said he was great in his own right. He said without him he would have been a chimney sweep in Liverpool. He said that George Harrison was a lovely guy too but if you wanted some hits he was the guy. Howard said he did write some great songs. Howard let fake John go a short time later.
Howard asked why everyone is nice to Robin and not to him. John said a nice goodbye to her.
Howard read more feedback about the McCartney interview. He said he loves that man and it's exciting to have him on.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she got the book and started reading it. She asked if Jon Hein read the whole book. She said that there are only two people on earth who will remember how they changed the history and that's Howard and Paul.
Howard said Jon Hein did read the whole book. He said that he read it too. He said it did take a while to read it. He said that he had it on Kindle. Mariann said they had a report on 60 Minutes last night about the Beatles break up. Howard said he thought it was kind of perfect when they broke up. He said they were together for 10 years. He said then they did their solo stuff and it was all good. He said the only story that was bad was John being assassinated. He said it may have been just enough time. He said he thinks they may have done a live tour if John hadn't died.
Mariann said there's something about them that's just amazing. Howard said they were amazing. He thanked her for the call. He said she's a lot to take. He said you have to take her in small doses.
Howard said Robin was telling him over the weekend how emotional she got about the interview. He said they talked it over and they were thinking that it was nostalgia and that they don't know how much longer he'll be around or how much longer they'll be around. He said they all have memories around those songs. He said it's incredible.
Robin said that it's about the way they were about that. Robin said they used to have 9 volt transistor radios and they would listen to hear the new songs on those radios. Howard said that's a genuine excitement they have about Paul. He said it's a very special thing for them. Howard said he called his office to talk to Paul and left him a message after the interview. He said he wanted him to know how much they appreciate him coming on the show.
Mike said he saw this picture of Beth in some underwear or something and he wanted to thank Howard for spending his time with us and not just with Beth. Howard said he spends 99 percent of his free time staring at her. He said she's annoyed by it. Mike asked if he ever imagined having a wife like that. Howard said not at all. He said his mother used to say to him that women in Playboy don't really look like that. He said she'd say that they look like her and his sister. He said he looks at his wife and thinks that his mom was wrong. He said Beth looks like Playboy to him.
Howard said that picture that Mike is talking about he had nothing to do with. He said he was shocked. He said that was a selfie. He said he had nothing to do with it. Robin said she didn't see it.
Howard said he was busy doing something like watching TV or watching revenge movie clip on Facebook. He said there was this one clip he watched that was this guy in a prison. He described the scene to Robin where the guy has a shiv and this big guy tells him he's going to beat the fuck out of him when he counts to 5. He said he counts down and the guy beats the shit out of 10 of these guys. He said after he knocks them all out he says that he's letting them live so they can tell everyone in the prison what just happened to them.
Howard said he's not sure what movie this is but it's the greatest thing ever. He said he's not sure who the guy is in it but he could beat up anyone. He said he could beat up Bruce Lee he's so good.
Howard said this guy gets out of prison and he gets into street fighting. He said he ends up beating up guys who don't pay when they bet on him to lose. He said by the end of this whole thing the guy is forced to fight someone. Howard was going on and on about the movie and how it was clip after clip of the fights.
JD asked if he wants to know the name of the movie. Howard asked what it is. JD said it's Blood and Bone from 2009. Howard said that's right. He said that it's Michael Jai White who stars in it. Howard said that guy is really good.
Howard said he loves the scenes where the guys are counting. He said they all do it in these films.
Howard said getting back to Beth's picture... He said every once in a while she'll post something on Instagram like this. He said she posts kitten pictures most of the time. Howard said she was in her underwear in this picture. He said he calls her up on the phone and asked what this is. He asked if she posted it. Howard said she didn't even talk to him about it. He said she'll ask him about some pictures. He said this was right after her colonoscopy. He said she was feeling good and thin after it. He said she came home and she sells t-shirts so she tied one up sexy and had her panties on. He said she had her black glasses on just like Robin's. He said the panties were so small. He said that he's never seen them so small. He said that he's not sure if he's ever seen them before.
Howard said Beth took the picture and he was shocked that she posted it. He said that she'd usually ask him about it. He said they'd usually discuss it. He said that she did look good though. He said some people might take offense at it.
Howard said she did post about how she felt thin and felt good about how she was doing after her colonoscopy. Howard said then the Karens out there were going off on her about saying that she was feeling good and thin after that. Howard said people were going off on that woman. He said then some news place posted about how she was making a colonoscopy feel hot. He said this was his weekend.
Howard said he was kind of surprised by her decision to do that. Robin said that she knows he was upset about something she didn't post the other day. Howard said there's a lot of thought that goes into these things but she must have liked this. He said he was caught off guard that she posted a panty picture.
Howard said he's excited to see anyone in their panties. He said if you make people feel funny about that then you're blowing it for everyone. He said one guy told people to shut up about it. He said that she'll rethink posting those pictures. Robin said what a life you have if you do that. She said your life must be really empty.
Howard said he wants Beth to come down and talk about the colonoscopy prep. He said that he'll tell Robin a story about that. He said that she'll be shocked. He said he doesn't want to say it and get in trouble.
Howard tried calling Beth but she wasn't picking up. He said maybe she doesn't want to come on. He said Fred keeps playing this ''Panties'' clip. He said he didn't know what that was. Howard said Beth will be there in 2 minutes.
Howard said he'll set this up. He said he would have told Beth that it was too intense to put on Instagram. He said just look at the picture. He said they're tiny. Mike agreed. He said next time she can take them off for all of us. Howard said he'll tell her to take them off. He said she looked sexy with her glasses on.
Howard said Jason will share the picture with Robin. Robin said it's so cute. Howard said look at how tiny they are. Robin said they could be a bikini bottom.
Howard said Beth got her colonoscopy and she loved every minute of it. He said they told her not to come back for like 10 yrs. He said she wants to come back more often. He said it turned out to be nothing. He said what she was afraid of was the prep. He said she was saying that she can't drink a 64 ounce thing of the liquid that you have to drink. He said she didn't know how she was going to do it. He said now they have a new prep that isn't that amount of water. He said the prep was 12 pills and you take one every 3 minutes with one glass of water. He said it's the night before and you do your thing. He said there's just a glass of water after every pill. He said in the morning you have another 12 pills. He said they knocked out all of the fluids. He said it's a whole new ball game. He said she would have had the worst experience. He said that he used to get the chills drinking all of that Gatorade. He said that he was busting her balls over it.
Howard said she doesn't move her bowels that much. He said she was all prepped for that. He said she was very worried about him smelling her doody. He said that he's never smelled her in the 20 years they've been together. He said she wants to keep it hot. He said he's complimented by that. He said meanwhile he'd fuck her if she didn't bathe in a year.
Beth showed up so Howard put her microphone on and had her test it out. Beth asked if she smells. She said she got the cutest kittens yesterday and she got them late and put them in the bathroom. She said it was like a tornado hit in there. She said there was poop all over. Howard said she thinks she smells but she smells like a girl. Beth said she smells like peaches and shit right now.
Beth said she had the best experience with that colonoscopy. Howard said he was really nervous. He said he doesn't want her naked around any men. Howard said he was going to tattoo ''Property of Howard Stern'' on her ass.
Howard said he wanted to sit out there with Beth so these guys won't get any weird ideas. He said he was talking to Mike about her picture on Instagram. He said that he was shocked by that. He said she can post what she wants but she'd usually ask him first.
Beth said all she was trying to do was encourage women her age to get a colonoscopy. She said that it triggered some people though. Beth said she had to apologize. She said that she was crushed by what some women were saying about the photo. She said that they got so many other comments about it and they were positive so that was nice to read. She said that it's so important to get a colonoscopy. She said now they say that you should get one at 45 and not 50 like it used to be. She said it was a great experience for her. She said she came back feeling at the top of the world.
Beth said she felt so good after coming home and she posted that picture and then she felt horrible for posting it because of the comments. Howard said stop it. He said she may have to go topless for breast cancer awareness.
Howard said he was telling everyone about how she cleared herself out. Beth said it was so great. She said it was no big deal. She said that it was so easy. Howard said she's leaving out the key detail. He said Beth swears she didn't have any doody come out. He said she said it was just clear water. He said it doesn't make sense. Beth said she should have shown him. Howard said she should have. Howard said that she thought that something was wrong. He said she didn't think she had any doody coming out. Beth said she was concerned. Howard said she must not be human. Beth said she thought she had a gummy bear lodged in there.
Howard said he thought that the guy with the camera was going to find doody in there from years ago. He said it's impossible not to have some doody come out. Beth said it was such a wonderful feeling to cleanse like that. she said she had nothing come out though. Howard said she shits water so she's like the perfect woman. Beth said that her doctor told her she had a lot of air up there and she will probably fart. She said she didn't have one. She said that she wanted to pass gas but she didn't have any. Howard said he's had them and he has to fart like crazy. He said his underpants are brown and it's crazy. He said he's never had an experience like Beth did.
Howard said it's been such a different experience for him. Beth said they gave her a cookie after her's and she had such a great experience. She said she loved it. Howard said he called Ronnie up after and told him to get one. He said that she had the best experience. He said Ronnie said he's doing the shit in the box thing. He said he won't get one. He said it's really so nothing.
Howard said the panties picture is really hot. Robin said it's beautiful. Beth said it's not either. Howard took a call from Pocket who said it's not hot to women who don't have a thigh gap. Howard said Beth has that. He said she has that gap between her legs when she puts her legs together.
Howard said he wanted to tell Robin this whole thing. He said that they got a gift for Jimmy Kimmel. Beth said she doesn't need to be here for this. Howard had her get a stool because she's standing and getting dizzy.
Beth said she had a picture of her colon that she left at the office. She said it was clean and clear. She said she has family embers who had polyps that they had removed. She said she had nothing. She said she was told not to come back for 10 years.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is a great guy. He said he's always been great to them. He burped and Beth said she smells it. Howard said stop it. He said it doesn't' smell. He said she's lying. Beth said she can smell it. Howard said she's lying.
Howard said getting a gift for Jimmy is a pain in the ass. He said you never know what to get him. He said this gift was so good that Jimmy said it was the greatest ever. He said this is why he's sharing the story. He said Beth did all of the work on this. He said she texted Ronnie and asked for all of his favorite sex tip toys and they were going to print out the texts to Ronnie to go along with it. Howard said this is Beth asking Ronnie for the information and that went along with the dildos and stuff. Howard said Jimmy loved it. He said he's such a fan of Ronnie's sex tips.
Howard read some of the texts that Beth wrote to Ronnie and his responses. Howard said Ronnie gets this and he writes back about his favorite stuff. He read through some of the things he was suggesting that they could get for Jimmy. Howard said that Beth wrote back to Ronnie. He said then Ronnie sends pictures. Beth said she was asking which ones to get. Howard said then he sent pictures of the stuff she should get. Howard said Beth is ordering and they have all of the texts.
Beth said Ronnie had to go into the boxes to find one of the items so they could find the right manufacturer. Howard read more of Ronnie's suggestions.
Howard went through more of the stuff and Beth was asking for more information on this stuff. They were going back and forth about the different items.
Beth said he told her to add lube to complete the whole thing. Beth said that she's getting a lot of sex toy emails now because she bought all of this stuff. Howard said Jimmy thought this was all very funny. Beth said she has to thank Ronnie and Stephanie for their help. Howard said that Molly was upset that Jimmy was going to use these things on her. He said that was the last they heard from them.
Howard said they got a $300 vibrator. He said that he'll use it on her if she wants to get one for herself. Beth said she's not into that. She said she just needs Howard. Howard said he's enough for her. He said when you have him you don't need a vibrator. Beth said he looks cute. she said she thought that he needed a hair cut but not yet. Howard said he has a lot of grey hair. He said that he might have to get it cut.
Howard said he might get it shorter. Beth said she likes it longer. Howard said he'll do whatever she wants him to do. He said that's the update. Robin said thank you for encouraging everyone to get a colonoscopy. Howard said he thinks she's gorgeous. He said he's surprised she posted that picture. Beth said she's posted so many. She said this was an ad for scheduling a colonoscopy. Howard said she can do what she wants but he was surprised by it. Beth said she's shocked that he was surprised.
Howard took a call from Beth's fake doctor who said thanked her for suggesting this. He had shitting clips playing behind him. Howard let him go quickly.
Howard took a call from Mildred (Chris Wilding) who was also prepping for her colonoscopy and shitting in her bed. She said she has a thigh gap and when she takes out her gums she has a gum gap too.
Beth said that they have to name their new kittens. Howard said he is so in love with her. He said he comes up with really good names for cats. He said he feels like she should have a bank of names. Beth said she does but she wants to name these kittens after Three's Company. Howard said he came up with good names the other day. Beth said they don't fit with these.
Howard said there was something that annoyed him with Beth. He said that he can't remember what it was. He said here was something. Beth didn't remember either. Robin said it's good they don't remember. Howard said maybe it was the list of boyfriends. Beth said it had nothing to do with that. Howard said it was endless stuff about the boyfriends. Beth said that one of the guys on The Bachelor reminded her of an old boyfriend. Howard said she'll sometimes give him the rundown. He said that he's not jealous but he has no one to brag about. Beth said he does too. She said she knows his list.
Howard said he thinks they might want to get to know each other after the show. Beth said not after the show but maybe tonight. Howard said he told her that he got boned up on their walk and she started manipulating it. Beth said she just felt if he was boned up. She said she just did a little turn. She said it's so funny when they do that around the track. Howard said she's going to get him put in jail. Beth said they never do it on the track by the way.
Beth said she has to go. Howard said he's going to have a special treat for her after the show. Beth said no. Howard said right after the show.
Howard said there were 9 people who lost their lives last week and over 300 were hurt at this Travis Scott concert. He said he doesn't know who this guy is but listen to this. He said this is what they died over. Howard played a clip of Travis doing a song at the concert. The caller said they have a video of a body being shown and he was just staring at it. Howard said that was Travis and Drake performing that song.
Howard said the reason for the outrage is that it seemed preventable. Robin said he's had these incidents before where he tells people to ignore the police and things like that at his concerts. Howard said that Travis and Drake came out and apologized but people felt like it wasn't very heart felt. Howard said that they went out and partied after the concert too so that didn't come off very well either.
Howard said it seems like the gathering of the Juggalos was more organized than this. He said he tells the audience to take care of yourself and come back again. He said we need you to stay alive.
Howard said that story was horrible. He said one victim was 14 years old. He said another was 16. He said these are kids.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there's more to it. Howard asked what else there is. The caller said it was the lay out of the stage too. He said the way it was set up was like a giant T and they got to a point where everyone was frozen in fear. Howard said he's out of it and doesn't even know who Travis Scott is.
The caller said that it was poorly set up. He said they did do stuff to calm down rioting. The caller said there was a band that opened for Tool and this lead singer had to go to the bathroom and she asked for someone from the audience to come on stage and this woman peed all over this guy. Howard said now that's a show. He asked how Tool follows that. He asked if they shit on someone. The caller said it was really weird. He said Howard should look it up.
Howard asked if the woman took her pants off completely. The caller said she had a little squirt out but then she peed like a horse. He said the guy spit it out. He said it was disgusting. He said the guy did a whole spit take. He said it was so disturbing.
Howard said he got a note saying that she squatted like she was going to take a dump. Howard asked if she's hot. The caller said from a distance yes. He said that she's really hot.
Howard had some of this band's music and played one of their songs. He said the band is Brass Against. He played their song ''The Pot'' and said it's so annoying. He said it's an annoying song. He said this is horrible. Fred threw in some of Gary playing trumpet over the song.
Howard said this is really bad. He said someone piss on his face, he can't handle this. He said what an insult to Rage Against the Machine. They covered their song and Howard didn't think it was very good.
Gary said he thinks that woman was on The Voice at one point. He said that this guy is underplaying the whole thing. He said the team of urine was something but then the steam starts coming off the guy's face. Howard said they must have been outdoors. Howard asked if the woman is super hot or just hot. Gary said she's hot. He said that she's too hot to be pissing on someone's face.
The caller said he was playing it down but he was trying to be nice about it. He said it was disgusting. Howard asked if she's fully shaved. Gary said you can't tell. He said she puts her pants down to her knees and squats. He said it's very animalistic. He said it's like a caveman move.
Howard let the caller go and said that the band apologized after that whole thing. He said they say that Sophia got carried away. Howard said they should start their own band called Accordion Van Halen. He said he'd never go to that show. He said what a horrible thing that was.
Howard said Tool must have gotten a really shitty band just so you'd appreciate them more. He said Tool is good though. He said he likes them. Howard said this woman is marrying a Peloton instructor. He asked what her story is. JD told him that it's a woman that this woman is marrying. Howard said he knows who Jess King is. He said he didn't know that's who it was. He asked to see a picture of this Sophia woman. He said he has to see her. He said he wants to see both of then nude.
Howard said he's surprised that Tool would want to tour with a band that plays brass instruments. Fred played their version of War Pigs. Howard said maybe he'll be into this. He said they're taking away all of the excitement. He let the song play and laughed as Sophia was singing. Howard said what a shtick they have. He said heavy metal with brass instruments. He laughed as the song went on. Fred threw in Gary's trumpet again. Howard had him cut it off.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that pissing video he sent into Mike. He said it was weird and crazy but kind of sexy. He said he knows what people think about it sometimes but it was sexy. Howard said King loves that. Robin said she did think of King when she heard about it. Howard said King has a fetish for pissing stuff. He asked what his fantasy is. King said he likes a more intimate setting. He said his wife doesn't like it. He said she used to do it reluctantly but now she doesn't do it. He said it was so beautiful. He said it turned him on.
Howard asked what King did and where. King said he would put a tarp down on the bed and she'd squat down and pee on him. He said you wait for it to come down and it's erotic. Howard said he's so glad he's not into any of that stuff. He said King likes to sniff panties and stuff too. He said he told them he wants to sniff the panties of some woman and he'd pay for it. King said he'd pay 10,000 for that. Howard said he has to check this woman out. King said that she'd have to wear her panties for like 3 days in a row for 10 grand. Howard said he has to go. King had another question for him. He said he heard him last week... Howard said he has to go. He said he made his statement already. He said it's endless with him.
Howard said he knows what he wants to talk about. He said he mentioned him last week about how he does things around the house that are romantic and King wrote in telling him not to do that stuff. He said it's all sexist nonsense from him. He played a clip of King telling him not to slip into any of that stuff and he's doing her a favor by having sex with her so that's what he has to remind her.
Howard said he thinks he has it all figured out. He said the wonderful thing about his relationship is that he knows he can get away with shit but he doesn't want to do that. He said he wants to show that he cares. He said a woman doesn't want to fuck you if you don't care.
Howard said Jake broke up with Taylor and she wrote this 10 minute song about him and sang about how he broke up because she was too young and dated a woman 5 years younger than her. Howard read the lyric from the song about that whole thing. Howard said he should have just been honest with her about why he was breaking up. Robin said it doesn't matter way it's not working, he just wasn't into her.
Howard said he's learned so much from The bachelor. He said you just turn to the person and tell them that they're not ''your person.'' He said he dated a woman whose tits smelled. He said he can't tell her that. He said you have to tell her something nice.
Howard said Jake is dating a 25 year old model now. He said that sounds nice. He said she must be more mature. Robin said she could be.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he always liked this song. He said he thinks Paul McCartney wrote this. Robin said she thought it was Kanye. Jon Hein said it was Paul working with them on the song. Howard said the little weird voice in the background is Paul. He said if he veer gets to talk to Paul again he has to ask about Kanye asking him about what pussy was like in the 60s. He said he's not sure if that's true or not. He said you never know.
Howard said it's a good song. He said he likes it better than heavy metal music done with brass instruments. He said they did get them talking about that band though. He said now you're aware of them. He said when he had his band he should have peed on Gary's face.
Howard said he and Robin were talking over the weekend. He said they were talking about running for President in 2024 but not seriously. He said then he said he should run and Robin agreed. Robin said she said it was enough of this bullshit and we need someone to get rid of Donald Trump. Howard said he has to refresh his own memory. He said he was in the news about it. He said he was just joking around. Robin said he has to run now. Howard played the clip and he and Robin were just joking around but every news station picked up on the story and said that he was going to run. He said he heard from a friend he hadn't heard from in a long time who said he'd vote for him. He said he heard from his daughter's husband's father who wrote to him about it too. He said he heard from people all over the country who said they'd vote for him. He said Tom Chiusano wrote him saying he'd vote for him.
Howard said he was shocked that the Aaron Rodgers stuff made the news too. He said he just said that he was lying and endangering his teammates. He said he got a $15,000 fine that was really nothing to him. He said it was ridiculous. He said he called the guy a scumbag and more. He said he didn't know that his fiancee was Shailene Woodley. He said he loves her as an actress. He said she was joking around about how big his cock is on Instagram. He said she was defending him saying he has a giant cock.
Howard said the NFL are such hypocrites. He said it wasn't even about him not being vaccinated. He said it was about the lying. He said he made those comments and it blew up and made the newspapers. He said he's not sure why it blew up. He said then this whole President thing came up and it took off. He said he and Robin were trying to figure it out. He said people are so desperate for anyone to take on Trump that it made the news. He said they want someone who can take him on and win.
Howard said he's a big Biden fan. He said just getting us out of Afghanistan was a big win for the guy. He said there were even 10 Republicans who helped get this infrastructure bill passed. He said what Biden did was end the war in Afghanistan. He said getting out of that fucking mess was a good thing. He said it wasn't perfect but he did get us out. He said he also had an organized approach to getting the vaccine out there. He said Biden got us out of Afghanistan and we spent $6 trillion there. He said that those guys who voted for that to be spent there voted against the same kind of money being spent in this country. He said it honest make sense. Robin said it doesn't. She said we have to spend money here. She said she's not sure how people are quitting jobs and not working.
Howard said he's not a doom and gloom kind of guy but he thinks spending six trillion in Afghanistan and not here doesn't make sense. He said when he said he's going to run for President it took off. He said you have to hear the news. He played some clips where news reporters were getting all excited about him saying he would run.
Howard said back in the day when Trump said he was going to run it was a joke. He said everyone thought it was a goof. He said he had no idea that people would vote for him when he ran for governor. He said he had to get out of there when that started happening. He said people are so desperate to keep Trump away. He said he was reading about how Trump had a hotel in Washington and they just sold it to the Hilton corporation because it was losing money with his name on it. He said when the Hilton people take over they'll make money with it. He said it's poor fucking management. He said they don't know what the hell they're doing.
Robin said his legacy is going to be that his name will disappeared from everywhere. Howard said Chris Christy said that maybe the republican party should move away from Trump because people hate him so much. He said this president thing made the news because people want to get away from Trump. Robin said she can't live through another 4 years like that. Howard said the next election is in 2024. He said he has more time on his contract though. Robin said he'll have one more year when the election happens. Howard said he doesn't think they're on the public airways so he could run. Robin asked if he would want to do this and that. Howard said he barely has the energy to get out of bed. He said he doesn't want to be bothered but if it means keeping trump out of the White House he might have to. He asked if he can still take summers off. Robin said no way. She said he'll have to travel a lot and go to foreign countries. She said just get Buttigieg to be Vice President and make him do everything. Howard said he took a couple of months off for paternity leave. He said he's not sure he'd be happy with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's sick of him saying that he's a fan of Biden. Howard said he likes the guy. He said he liked Donald when he wasn't president. Howard said he wasn't a good president. The caller said he has to stop with the Biden stuff. He said Biden had a good exit strategy and he agrees with them on that but it's coming off like he's kissing the guy's ass. Howard said it's how he feels.
Howard said what he likes about Biden is that he doesn't wake up worried about who is in control over the button. He said that he just wants to beat Trump and bow out. Robin said he'd have to take over. Howard said he'd be up front about this stuff. He said he'll oversee things but he won't be there. Robin said if you're good delegater then you do that. Howard said he'll do a Ronald Reagan thing. He said he'll be the great communicator.
Howard said what he likes about Biden is that he doesn't call the FBI the enemy of the people. He said he's a fan of the guy.
Howard had fake Jennifer Witz on the phone. She told Howard he has to finish his contract and stop joking about running for President. She told him he'll be doing shows from the oval office.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that he'd vote for Howard. Howard said they're all out of their minds. He said he may have to run if they keep saying this stuff.
Ralph said Taylor Swift is a pain in the ass. He said every song she writes is about someone she broke up with. He said she also needs to change that hair style she's had for 20 years. Robin said she seems to be doing well without his advice. Howard let Ralph go after that. Howard said it is kind of strange that all of these guys are leaving her.
Howard took a call from fake Bubba the Love Sponge. He said that he wants Howard to make him Vice President. Howard said he has a lot of fans in the south so that's interesting. Howard said he has everything going on down there. He said he can take summers off and he can have someone fill in for him. Howard said they could send the whole Bubba Army to Ukraine. Bubba said that they have to do shock the balls on anyone who they want to.
Howard said he has to think about this. He got Bobo on the phone to talk about that. Bobo said he thinks he was in. Howard said he did wear that bad toupee. He said he's not sure he's in there. He said he thinks he's just a superfan. Robin agreed. She said Mariann was too.
Howard said Wendy, Underdog, Medicated Pete, Jeff the Drunk, Asian Pete, Siobhan the transsexual too. He said they're all in. He said Marfan Mike is Wack Pack. He said Captain Janks isn't. He said Joey Boots was not but High Pitch Erik is. He said there's your list.
Gary said he has one more for the list. He said Crackhead bob. Howard said of course he's in there. He said that he's not alive anymore but he's hall of fame.
Robin asked about Gina Man. Howard said yes to him. He asked if Lenny Dykstra is Wack Pack. Robin said no. Gary said yes. Howard asked why. Gary said no one really pays attention to what he does other than them. Howard said he's not Wack Pack. He said sorry but he has to draw the line somewhere.
Howard said they have a hall of fame for so many things. He said they put the question to the Wack Pack about this hall of fame. He said this is Tan Mom picking Eric the Actor. He said that's a great choice. He played a clip of Tan Mom talking about Eric and describing him and it was nothing like him at all. She obviously had no idea who Eric was. Howard said Eric used the show and he wasn't a giving person like she said he was. Howard said he loved Eric but he wasn't as she described him. He said he wasn't caring and giving. He said he once asked Johnny Fratto to put a hit out on someone from his high school.
Howard played a clip of Wendy the Slow Adult talking about how much she wants Gary the Conqueror in the hall of fame. She said she wants herself in there too. She said that the one person who would never get in is High Pitch Erik because he lies and tries to kill little kids. Howard said he was surprised that she wanted Gary in there. He said they haven't gotten along in recent years. He said they had them on a show together and they just argued with each other the whole time. He played a clip of Gary and Wendy arguing.
Howard said if he gets the presidency he knows who he's picking for the supreme court. He said it's those two. Robin said Wendy has been used as a judge and she's good. Howard said they used to have a thing going.
Howard asked Bobo what he wants. Bobo said he tested positive for COVID. He said he was fully vaccinated and he wasn't able to breathe that well. He said he had to get an IV that brought him back. He said on top of that he has bronchitis. Howard said he's sorry to hear that. He asked how he got COVID. Bobo said they tracked it because he went to Universal last Saturday. He said he went on a few rides there. He said that he was always masked up but that night he started feeling really bad. He said he didn't call in last week because of that. He said he had zero energy. He said he never lost his sense of taste or smell. He said they told him if he didn't get the vaccine he'd be having a different conversation. Howard said he'd probably be dead.
Bobo said he lost two friends to COVID. He said they procrastinated and they're not longer here. He said he was told to get into the hospital and he got the antibodies thing done.
Howard said he and his wife were just talking about this. He said people still get sick even after being vaccinated. He said it's just not over. He said he doesn't get why there aren't mask mandates and things. He said that people have to get this monoclonal antibodies stuff when they get sick. Robin said she would have liked to heave heard how Bobo sounded last week. Howard said it's a good lesson, get the vaccine. Bobo said it saved his life. He said he's able to talk to his favorite person in the world. He said he thought he was down for the count. He said he still feels it in his lungs. He said they told him that may last another 3 or 4 weeks.
Howard said he'll tell you something else. He said he waited a long time to get the vaccine. He said he was on the fence about it. He said everyone who has taken it is doing just fine. He said he's sick of all of you.
Howard said Bobo was one of those guys who almost didn't get the vaccine. He said it's safe. Robin said he was listening to every stupid person he could find.
Howard said this is what this woman has to put up with. He said it's just awful. He said just listen to the misery. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking to Wolfie about what she'd complain about. Jeff said she finds doody stains and he has left stains on his sheets. He said she sees it and thought he had an accident on the bed or something. Jeff said she says it's no wonder they have flies in the apartment.
Howard played more audio of Jeff talking about how he has doody issues. He said he rinses out his ass in the bath tub. He said that he will shit in the tub and he will give himself water enemas in there. He said that his roommate doesn't like that. Wolfie asked how she finds doody stains if he cleans it out. Jeff said it takes a while for the water to go down so he has to wait for that to clean the tub. Howard said people are disgusting.
Howard asked Wolfie if he has this right that Jeff gets in the tub and shits while he's laying in the water. Wolfie said he thinks what he's doing is that he shits in the tub and then lays down and sprays the water in his asshole to clean it. Howard asked why he'd shit in the tub. Wolfie said he has to clean his asshole with the nozzle so he gets into the shit water in the tub. Howard said he still doesn't understand what he's doing. He asked if he gets on all fours and uses the faucet. Wolfie said he thinks that's what he's doing. He said there's no way to avoid the shit in the tub. Howard said this guy is the best.
Howard said the apartment must smell. He said it's not some huge place. Wolfie said they have separate rooms but this woman is miserable.
Howard played a clip of Jeff talking to Wolfie about how his roommate may have seen him masturbating but she doesn't seem to care about that. He said she's not upset about the vomit fetish either. He said that doesn't phase her. Howard said she really knows how to pick her battles. Howard said he's not sure how you live with this asshole.
Howard said Wolfie asked if Jeff has ever jerked off to his roommate. Howard played the audio and Jeff said he has a lot of times. He said that he has asked her to vomit in front of him but she said she wouldn't do that. He said he masturbates like twice a day and he'll finish on the blanket. He said he would do it more often but he eats on that bed. He said he may finish no his thigh or his hand.
Howard said what's so great about him is that he's so matter of fact about everything. Howard asked if he's like 3,000 pounds now. Wolfie said he's out of shape but not that heavy yet. Howard said he must have a crusty blanket. He said he's going to throw up.
Howard was doing his Jeff impression asking if he's the odd one being into the vomit stuff.
Wolfie said that there are shit rings around the tub because it drains so slowly. Howard said he has a friend who thanks god for giving him feet so he can walk. Howard said he has to thank God for not making him live with someone like Jeff. He said he thinks he'd kill himself if he had to live like that. He said Gary's dad left his mom and they got back together because he was so miserable living with a bunch of dudes. Gary said she gave him a really hard time. He said he wasn't' able to see this place that he was living. He said he got his dad a hot plate that would boil a cup of water for him. He said it was so depressing.
Howard said Jeff also jerks off to vomit porn. He said he sent them a link to one of his favorite videos. He said this woman drank a gallon of milk and the woman vomits it up. Howard played some audio of that.
Howard said he has to bail from that clip. He said he's grossed out. He said that there must be other people who are into it if there's porn. Robin said whatever that woman is making is not enough.
Howard said Jeff is so proud that he's into vomit. He said he thinks he's so special. He said they prank called Jeff and told him they found a woman willing to fulfill his vomit fantasy. He said there was a catch. He said they had Steve the Vomit guy who wanted to compete for this woman's vomit. He said Jeff had to try to win this woman's love. Howard said nothing gets in the way of Jeff's vomit. He said he didn't think he could lose. He said this is Steve and Jeff going toe to toe. Howard played the clip and Jeff and Steve the Vomit guy were competing to get this woman's attention. They were going back and forth with stories about what they like. Steve was doing an impression of Jeff so he had similar stories.
Howard said the two of them were telling the woman what they would feed her to make her vomit. He had some audio of that and then more audio where the guys were competing to get her attention to vomit on them. The woman was burping up bile. Jeff said he's naked on his bed listening to this. Steve said he has a toothbrush in his ass.
Howard said just as this female was going to give her choice this guy Chris the Vomit guy barged in and took her attention. The woman said that she always wanted to meet Chris. Chris said he's the biggest vomit guy around. Jeff was arguing that he's the original. He said that he has had many people vomit on him on the show. The woman said it would be her honor to puke on Chris. She picked him over Jeff and Steve.
Howard said Jeff and Steve were left hanging on the line together. They spent a minute talking about what had just happened. Steve suggested that they might do something together. Jeff said that if he pays him $1000 that he'll do something with him. Steve asked him to let him puke in his asshole and then maybe he can fart it back at him. Jeff said he had to go a short time later. Wolfie said he was so bummed when that woman was stolen from him.
Howard asked Chris the Vomit guy to get on. It was Chris Wilding doing his Jeff the Vomit guy impression.
Howard said there was a lot of gold in there. Wolfie said the stuff Jeff reveals gets even darker. Howard asked if they have a part 2 for tomorrow. Wolfie said maybe not tomorrow but he does have some stuff that's gross. He said that he will find used masks on the street and uses those because he's too cheap to buy his own.
Howard answered a knock on the door and it was Steve the Vomit guy shitting in his tub and cleaning his ass in there. He had pigeons like Jeff does too.
Howard took a call from a guy in Canada who said that is gold. He said it's one of the funniest things he's heard. Howard said he has to hand it to Wolfie because he talked him into this. He said he thought he was done with Jeff but he did this and now he's back in with him. He said that they thought they had enough of this guy but Wolfie was almost belligerent about it. He said he claims he has even more about this guy.
Howard did his impression of Jeff with the other vomit guys. They were going back and forth with their impressions.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can get a rescue team in to get that woman out of the apartment. He said he would rather live on the streets of Haiti. Howard said he'd rather live in Afghanistan.
Wolfie said Jeff told him there are bugs in the pigeon shit that get all over the apartment. He said the roommate complains about that too. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. Wolfie said that he claims he used to have so many cats in the past that he called pet protection and had them removed. He said he turned himself in.
The caller said that you have to look Jeff up if you haven't seen this guy. He said that he looks like you'd think. He said you won't be disappointed when you see him.
Wolfie said that Richard said Jeff smells really bad. Howard said that's something for Richard to say that. Howard said Richard once said that he wanted a raise and they asked what he has done for the show lately to get that raise and he said he pisses in a bottle so he doesn't have to leave the basement. Richard said they were just talking about the things they had done that year. He said he was talking about the synchronized pissing thing that he and Sal had done. He said that led to him talking about peeing in a bottle instead of going to the bathroom. He said he said he puts it in the recycle bin with pee in it. Richard said he does put it in there. He said he puts it in the bottom. Howard said he isn't washing his hands at all. Richard said he's right about that.
Richard said he can't even put into words what the smell is like coming from Jeff. He said it makes you want to run 20 miles away. Howard said it's like waling death. Richard said it is. He said Jeff is worse than a dead cow across the street from his parents farm. He said that they have no problem with anyone else there but they can't record with Jeff. He said that smell is just all body smell. He said that Beetlejuice and High Pitch Erik have bad breath but it's not nearly as bad as Jeff's body smell.
Howard said Jeff is the only guy they won't record with in the studio. He asked if that's why they interviewed him on the street on a park bench. Richard said that's exactly why. Howard asked what it is that makes the smell. He said he must not wash his body. Richard said it smells like he bathed in urine and vomit and stood in the sun for 20 days.
Howard said the bugs he has must like that. Robin said he must have skin irritations and things. Howard did his impression of Jeff talking about how normal all of this is.
Howard said Jeff has no emotion when he talks. Richard said he has puked on Jeff before. He said that they weren't able to get women to do it. He said Jeff wasn't into it but he never got mad either. He said that he covered the guy in vomit and he never got upset. Howard said these guys are gross but they're grossed out by Jeff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's glad they brought this guy into this. He asked why Richard and Sal haven't been considered for the Wack Pack. Howard said once they issue a paycheck to them then it's hard to call them Wack Pack. Richard said a steady job keeps you out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he threw his breakfast right out the window when he heard this. He said he's so grossed out by it.
Howard thanked the guys for the update. He said that Wolfie was right about Jeff. He said he will never listen again when someone said it's been enough. Howard played a clip of Jeff singing a song about loving vomit. Howard ended the show after doing a live commercial read. They were done around 10:30am.
Howard said he thought Adele was coming on this show. Gary said he thinks it's happening after the new year. Howard said that's good. Gary said they're working on it. Howard said he thought the conversation was a bit odd. He said he thought there was something interesting with her but Oprah never got to it. He said he feels like with Oprah everyone tries to get deep but they do this kind of talk that's kind of nonsense. He said new age is what he'd describe it was. He said Oprah seems to know what they're talking about and Adele just wants to please Oprah. He said if Adele comes in then he'd want to talk to her about real stuff. He said she was talking about her dad being an alcoholic and he wasn't in her life. He said he was curious about that but then it got new agey and he didn't know what they were talking about.
Howard said Adele got up and did a concert on the special. He said she apparently changed her whole life. He said she got very hot and lost 100 pounds. He said this dude she was married to didn't cut it anymore. Robin said they got divorced before the weight loss. Howard said that guy is probably wondering ''what the fuck'' and now she's hot without him. He said that she's very pretty and looked great. He said Oprah met Adele and she was wearing a white pantsuit. He said Oprah wore a white jogging suit that was skin tight. He said he doesn't understand why she would wear that. He said it was not flattering at all. He said you could see everything. He said he's not sure who is advising her. Robin said she used to have great advisors. Howard said it's a big mistake to pick your own clothes.
Howard said he had a big discussion with Ralph about his clothes yesterday. He said Beth was listening in and laughing to herself. He said he should have taped the conversation. He said he likes John Varvatos clothes but he's apparently sold that off and he's not involved with that. He said he heard from John and he's with some new thing. He said he has a new clothing line or something. He said he forgets what it's called. He said it's like OTD or OTB or something. Robin said that's where you go to gamble on the horses. Howard said he has some new venture. He said he still likes that John Varvatos stuff. He said he likes anything he does. He said he thinks Oprah went rogue. He said she used to have someone dressing her but not now. He said she must have just gone out and said fuck this.
Howard said Oprah was wearing a white jogging outfit like Tony Soprano would wear. He said she used to have a nice wardrobe. He said he's not sure what she's doing. Robin said she must do tests with the camera. Howard said he's not sure. He said she's also the president of Weight Watchers and you'd want to present your best self. Robin said he acts like if you own a gym you should be into working out. Howard said he odes think that way. He said Oprah looked like she was dressed like an athlete. He said he likes Oprah but she must be doing a lot to watching with that weight watchers.
Howard said Oprah was doing a pre-interview kind of thing with Adele and she was going around showing her stuff. He said he watched it all. He said she Oprah has a tea house that she showed to Adele. He said he liked the special.
Howard said evidently Oprah treats Adele like the Stones. He said it was a very important interview. He said that she gave her the very nice treatment. He said Oprah was doing her thing where she tells everyone who is going to be there and tells you the name and stretches it out really long. He did his impression of Oprah doing that.
Howard said he loves weight loss so watching Adele is very nice. Robin said no one ever becomes Adele on those shows that Howard watches. Howard said she looks really nice. He said it's fun to see. He said he hopes she doesn't gain it back. Robin said let her enjoy herself. She said maybe he shouldn't say that. She said that it could jinx her. Howard said Adele was telling Oprah that she doesn't care that she lost 100 pounds. He said she doesn't worry about what she weighs. He said stop it. He said she better care. Robin said no one can lose that much without caring unless they have a disease. Howard said no one wants to insult heavy set people. He said that's what you have to say. Robin said it's an obvious lie and she's not sure why people say that. She said all she has to say is that it was a struggle and it was hard. She said that you have to care to lose that much weight. Howard said she said she didn't care if she gets heavy again. He said he has to talk to her about that if she comes in there. Robin said no one should be so involved with someone's life. she said that Howard shouldn't even be doing that. Howard said he thought everyone was on the planet to please him.
Howard said Adele did a lot of her new music and some of her classic hits. He said they were very beautiful. He said she can sing her ass off. He said they had an audience jam packed with celebrities. He said they had an interesting audience. He said you had to know Oprah or Adele to get in there apparently. Robin said that you have to have an invitation to get into Oprah's house.
Howard said Seth Rogen was there and they kept putting the camera on him. He said this concert wasn't at Oprah's house but near it. He said the camera man kept showing Seth like he didn't believe he was there. He said he thought it was a Seth Rogen special based on how much he was on camera. He said next time they talk to Seth he has to ask him how he got in with that crowd. He said he has to find out whose team he's on.
Howard answered a knock at the door which turned out to be fake Seth Rogen who said he was very high there that night. Howard said he looked good too. He said he has to find out what he was doing there. Seth said he doesn't know. He said he just went when someone told him about it. He said he doesn't remember what happened because he was so high. Fake Seth had Howard cracking up as he told stories about being there that night. Howard thanked him for the details and let him go.
Howard had some audio of Oprah introducing Adele where she makes her name last about 5 seconds. Howard did his impression of that as Tarzan. He said looking around the audience he saw James Corden. He said that he looks very into the whole thing. He said that Kris Jenner was there too. He said he was annoyed by that. He said he knows they're a big deal but he respects that they've been on TV a long time but he's not sure why she gets to go there. He said Ellen Degeneres was there too. Robin said they live near each other. She said that she also had her on when she came out.
Howard said Leonardo DiCaprio and Drake were there. He said Nicole Richie was there too. He said he's not sure how she's so networked. Robin said she has a lot going on. He said he has to find out more about Nicole. He said he wants to know about the Lionel Richie money and if she's lined up for that. Robin said she's a designer now. She has a clothing line.
Howard said Tyler Perry was there. He said Gordon Ramsey was there. He said he's not sure who he knows. He said that the camera was mostly on Seth Rogen though. He said it was every shot.
Howard said he watched that video that they were talking about yesterday. He said he gave it to Beth to watch and she thought it was horrible. Howard said he's not sure who was more disturbed, the guy who got pissed on or the chick who did it. He said that he bets that the woman who is engaged to that chick will break up with her now. He said imagine you do something like that and you see your fiancee doing that. Robin said this is what they're letting you see. She said they may be doing that kind of thing at home and you don't even know how to be in that house. Howard said that was wild.
Howard said if you didn't hear yesterday's show they were talking about this band Brass Against that plays metal songs with brass instruments. He said the lead singer got someone on stage and pissed on him. Howard played some of their stuff and said it's really bad. He said this woman's name is Sophia Urista and she likes to piss on dudes on stage. He said this might have been her first time actually. He said he was wondering what the guy did after he got pissed on. He said he may have just gone back into the audience.
Howard said Urista sounds kind of like she's a urine barista. He read about her life and how she had $700 when she moved to New York. Howard said he didn't even have that much when he moved to New York. Howard said he watched a lot of her yesterday. He said he was watching her on The Voice and things. He said that he couldn't tell if she was hot or not based on the video. He said he looked up pictures of her and her girlfriend. He said the two of them were in bikinis on vacation together. He said they had this music video they made and he wanted to see if they'd give him a boner or not. He said they didn't. He said it turns out he knows so much about her that he's writing a book about her.
Howard said the guys were right when they said this woman pissed like a horse. He said it really did come out that fast. He said he has to talk to the guy who got peed on. He said it was really disgusting. Robin said he probably thought it wasn't going to happen.
Howard said if Richard got peed on he'd just deal with it. Robin said when he runs he just snots his nose and wipes it on his shirt. She said he puts everything on that shirt and then wears it into work. Howard said he was once on an airplane and sat in his own pee. He said he just sat there. Richard said they were at JFK taxiing for 2 hours and he had a few beers so he wasn't able to go pee so he peed in his seat. He said he just sat there. He said his wife was there next to him. Howard said it had to be a huge amount of pee. Richard said he had to sit in it the whole way to Florida. Howard said when you want a gross answer you go to Richard.
Richard said that pee video was shocking but he's seen worse. He said he has seen guys shit on stage a bunch of times. He said there was this one guy who pulled a tampon out of his ass and threw it into the crowd. He said that GG Allin would throw his feces out into the crowd to get everyone to run out. Howard said that guy died. Richard said it was from an overdose. He said he wanted to die at 33 but he overdosed before he could get there.
Howard said he knows there's a documentary about GG Allin. He said it's got to be out there somewhere. Richard said Todd Phillips directed that. He said it was called ''Hated.'' Howard said he didn't know Todd did that. He said he's friends with him on Facebook. He said he thinks he did that Joker movie. Richard and JD said he did. Howard said he was raving about that movie on the show and he got pinged from Todd on Facebook about that. Howard wondered what Todd is working on now. He said he's a real creative.
Howard said speaking of this woman pissing on her fans he has Gene Simmons to comment on that. Howard took a call from fake Gene who had phone issues. Howard said he has a bad phone connection. He said call them back. He put him on hold. Richard told him to call from Paul Stanley's phone.
Howard said he did a whole deep dive on this woman. He said he watched a bunch of video and checked out pictures. He said she's a good looking girl but she's not that hot. Ralph said that he can't even look at her now. He said if you haven't seen it, don't. He said that you can't unsee it. He said he's never seen someone pee that much. He said it was disgusting. Howard said she's trying to be rock and roll. He said she was on The Voice. He said if you go on that show you never have a career after it. Robin said that show is the epitome of no edge. Howard said nothing big ever happens to anyone on that show. He said you have to be able to write tunes.
Howard said he watched her on The Voice and she only had 2 people turn around for her. He said that has to be humiliating. Ralph said she should have peed on them. Howard said she should have. Howard said if she had done that she would have been edgy. Howard said that pee video was gross. He said he wasn't into that at all. Richard said even Sal was stressed out by that video and he's into that kind of thing.
Howard said he saw her on The Voice and he was like no wonder she peed on someone. He said she's 39 years old and she's trying to be a rock star. He said she's getting up there in age. He said she's gave up medical school to be a singer. He said he's not sure who goes to see this band. He said she must be feeling the pressure dating this hot Peloton instructor. He said she figured she could piss on someone on stage to get her career going.
Howard imagined what her agent would say to her if he was talking to her about the band and all of that. Howard went into his agent voice and talked to Sophia about doing something to get attention. Howard spent a few minutes with the agent telling her what to do. He gave her advice on how to pee and how to make it look like her water just broke when she does it. He said that if a small turd came out of her ass that would be it. Howard had her doing a Madison Square Garden residency like Billy Joel. He said that she'll be pissing every show.
Howard said that pissing is her 'Free Bird.' Howard said the band said that will never happen again. Robin said she may be arrested for indecent exposure after that stunt.
Richard said that GG Allin did a show once and the band that did the show before they did had a guy getting blown and GG got upset about it and beat up the two guys in the band and left. He said he had already been paid and ran off.
Howard said GG is rolling over in his grave right now. He said this girl is trying to take over that whole thing. Howard said that documentary about GG Allin was something. He said he has to talk to Todd about that. Richard said apparently they put acid in a donut and gave it to GG and that's what fucked him up. Howard told Ralph to watch that movie. He said that'll gross him out. Ralph said that pee was enough for the rest of his life. Richard said GG's music isn't that bad.
Howard said he thinks that Gene Simmons wants to comment on the pee thing. Ralph asked what it was about the proposal was during the Adele special. Howard said he thought it was kind of touching. Ralph said he didn't need that in the show.
Howard said he heard that the white outfit thing was a protest of Trump or something like that. He said when Nancy Pelosi was trying to impeach trump she was wearing white. He said that Melania was wearing all white to fight that. He said it's got something to do with women and trying to show a rebirth or something. He said he read this in an article and then they said that maybe she wore white because it looked good in the garden. He said they didn't know anything.
Gene said he wanted to talk about this woman who urinated on this audience member. He said it was disgusting and gross. Howard agreed. Gene said KISS is willing to do it for the right price. Fake Gene said 20 thousand bucks is 20 thousand bucks. He said they'll do it as part of this new promotion called Piss with KISS. He said it's their promotion for Christmas or as they call it, Pissmas. Howard said he can't be serious. Gene said he is serious. He said they'll piss on you and your family and friends. He said get a KISS toilet when you buy now.
Howard said Gene always has a brilliant marketing thing going on. Gene said he's dead serious about this. Howard said he really has to go. Gene asked if he can plug something. Howard said sure. Gene said if you missed any part of this interview you can find it right now on KISSOnline.com if you want to pay an extra $49.95 a year.
Howard said that's their friend Craig Gass by the way. He said that wasn't really Gene. Chris said he performed with KISS a few weeks ago on the KISS Kruise. Howard asked what that was like. Craig said he went on a cruise once and he made announcements as Gene and Paul. He said he did an announcement that said they hit an iceberg in the middle of the Bahamas. He said that upset the fans on the ship. He said they he announced they had 3 packages to get you off the ship. He told Howard about the three packages and it was like 10,000 bucks to get off the ship. He said everything he said was ridiculous but apparently some of the fans ran up to the employees of the ship and asked if they were going to charge them to get off the boat. Howard said god forbid you try to entertain people. He said he's trying to be funny and they think it's really happening.
Craig said he was afraid to repeat that so he had a nice gift fall in his lap. He said Sebastian Bach didn't make it on the ship and he was making announcements as Sebastian. He said it's him doing Cameos on his Instagram so that's what he was doing over the PA.
Howard asked if he ever saw Sebastian tie his penis in a knot. Craig said he didn't but he did hear a story about him that's really funny. He said that he went to Gene's house and he saw the stuff he has in his house and he asked for something free that he had in his house and Gene told him to go to KISSOnline.com to buy it there.
Howard asked what it was like being on the cruise. Craig said you had to be fully vaccinated and have a negative test within 3 days of getting on the ship. He said they were testing people as they got on the ship. He said everyone felt really safe and there were no incidents on the ship. Howard said that's cool that they had it worked out. Howard let Craig go a short time later. He said he loved that story.
Robin asked if he's going to get a standing desk. Howard said he was thinking about it. He said he sees other DJs who do it. He said he always sat during his show. He said he doesn't want to stand up. He said he wants to ask Scott Shannon how he does it. He said he might be able to move this thing up and down but it's a technical nightmare. He said he might have to just stand up occasionally. He said his ankles fill up with fluid and stuff so he has to move around.
Howard said Gary has a standing desk. Gary demonstrated how it works. He said he got it when his knees were all fucked up. He said he can put it up and down. Howard said he thinks he has too much equipment to do that. He said Gary didn't look comfortable. Gary said even if it's just for 2 minutes it's helpful.
Howard read some fan feedback about the Brass Against discussion they had yesterday.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at that show when the girl pissed. He said it was totally staged. He said no one would go on stage having to piss so bad. The caller said that Rob Zombie was there too and he has to give him props. Howard said he is a great entertainer. Howard said he's such an entertainer. He said Rob is great. The caller said he's so awesome. Howard said his guitar player is named Five or Six. He asked what his name is. The guys said it's John Five. Howard said they did The Great American Nightmare at their birthday bash show.
Howard said he might change his name to Howard Three. Robin said that isn't a great number. She said five is better. Howard said how about 69. He said that's what he should change his name to.
Howard said he thinks that Rob changed his name legally to Zombie. He said he's not sure how his family feels about all of that. He said he should get Rob in there to talk about his whole life. He said he called Rob one day to talk about painting and he asked him about his life and how he got into music. He said it's a great story. He said that they had this cat there who was a fucking mess. He said Rob and his wife took the cat. He said they saw this cat on Beth's Instagram. He said they have hearts of gold and they asked what's up with this cat ''Mister.'' He said he told them the story and Rob and his wife took the cat in. He said this cat is living better than most people now. He said he asked what they were going to do with the name. He said that Rob told him that he's had the name 10 years already so they changed it to Mister Zombie. He said they kept the Mister name. Howard said this cat is living the life now.
Howard asked the caller about being at that concert. The caller repeated what he said about the woman getting on stage having to pee so bad. Howard said he's right about that. He said he has guys on the show who did stand up and they never had to pee on stage. He said there's something chemical that happens and you don't have to go. He said he has to pee every minute but he'll sit there and do an interview and shut that whole thing off. He said maybe the caller is right.
Robin said they weren't even looking at Sal when they were doing the pee thing and he wasn't able to go.
Howard said King of All Blacks called in to talk about the pee thing yesterday. He said the fans were disgusted by that. Howard played some audio from yesterday's show here King talked about the pee thing and how he got peed on. Howard read some of the comments he got about that story King told. Robin and Howard talked about the tarp and how gross that story was. Howard said he can only imagine what would happen if he did that with Beth. Robin said Dexter had a whole set up so he didn't get blood all over the place.
Howard said speaking of the King and his fetishes. He said he has his panty sniffing tips clip to play. He said his thing is finding dirty panties and sniffing them. He said King is into this Sin Santana who he wants to get to do that. He said that if you're into panty sniffing, which he's not, then you want to do this kind of thing.
Howard played some of King's panty sniffing tips. He was saying he wants to rent one of his apartments to Ivanka Trump so he can sniff her panties when he goes over to the apartment. He said he can use the bathroom and sniff her panties there.
Howard said this is all very creepily well thought out. He said it's all very weird. Howard played another clip where King talks about how to get the freshest panties. King said when you're in front of the hamper you have to get them on top of the pile so it's fresh. He said if you dig s little toward the bottom then don't lose focus. Robin asked what that means. She asked if you have to focus when you're looking for panties.
Howard said King says he gets so happy when he finds the panties and loves it even more when he sees the vaginal secretions. Howard said he has an alternative to getting panties. Howard played that one and King talked about how you may have to dig deep sometimes but you can take your tongue and dab it on the panties. He said that process is called reconstitution.
Howard said look at Fred writing notes on this. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Greta Thunberg. She said how dare he do something like this when there is so much happening in this world. She said sea levels are rising and turtles are dying. Howard said he didn't mean to offend her. He said that you can lighten up and have a conversation about panties. Greta kept saying ''How dare you'' and saying her ''Blah, blah, blah.'' line.
Howard asked what she does for fun. Greta said she won't fly or take a boat or even use motorcars. She said that Howard is sending out radio frequencies which are ruining the planet. She said she leaves a zero carbon footprint every day. She asked if Howard can say that. Howard said this isn't going well and said goodbye to her.
Howard said that's a committed girl. He said she's into it. He said he hopes that they don't do anything on the show that would make her knock on the door again. He said she looks like a barrel of fun.
Howard had one more King tip. He said that this is his tip on how to preserve the smell. Howard played the clip of King talking about how to save the smell by rubbing them on the top of your lip and having that smell with you all day.
Howard said he's not bullshitting either. He said he thinks he's really into that. Robin said maybe someone else will smell what he's after. Howard said he doesn't think anyone gets that close to him. He said what he does is tape the panties to his forehead and lets them dangle there all day. He said he can paper clip them into his hair and let them dangle.
Howard said he's had enough of that. He said he can't imagine what he'd do if he found out the guy was taking his wife's panties out of the hamper. Howard did a live commercial read and had Greta Thunberg knock on the door again. She was complaining about him answering the door which his made of wood and rapes the forests. Howard was trying to get her into this ad for Select Blinds. She said blinds block out the sun and the sun is necessary for life. She said how dare you. They played a song parody they made with the real Greta's ''Blah, blah, blah'' clip. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said this song is probably the best Who song there is. He said Pete Townshend wrote this. He let the song play and sang along with it a little bit. Howard said he must go online and watch Heart covering ''Stairway to Heaven'' at least once a day. He said it gives him the chills. He said Jason Bonham is there playing drums. He said when Robert Plant and Jimmy Page see that they freak out. He said they get so moved by it. He said he thinks Nancy is the singer. Robin said it's Ann. Howard said when she starts singing oh my god. He said what a voice she has. He said it's one of the best things ever. He said he thinks he'd rather hear The Who do this song. He said he's not sure who cares.
Howard said he fucked up the Select Blinds commercial. He said he forgot to give out the information because Greta was talking about her panties being made out of wood. He said he wanted to ask if she shaves down there but he's not sure how old she is. Robin said she just turned 18. Howard said okay then. Howard finished up the commercial read.
Howard had fake Greta back at the door. He said he won't ask her what he was going to ask her. She said how dare he even ask her age. Greta said that here won't be a show if they don't fix the climate now. She was going on and on about carbon dioxide emissions and things like that. Howard said Bill Maher was right about how she has millions of followers but Kim Kardashian has 50 million more. Howard said Greta should have even more than Kim does. Greta went off on Howard again and Howard let her go. Howard shut the door on her but she was still talking.
Howard said he's not sure how she talked after he shut the door on her. He opened the door again and she was saying how dare he close the door on her. Howard closed it on her again and then opened it. She was rambling on and on as they closed the door on her again.
Howard asked Greta if she's alright. He kept opening and closing the door on her. Howard told Gary to lock the front door.
Howard said he's missing his point. He said the idea of isolating the smell from her panties is kind of weird. He said he's wondering what drives a dude to do that. He asked if he goes through people's hampers. The caller said he does. He said they'll go to a neighbor's house and he'll go through a hamper. He said if they're there for a little while he'll do that. He said he'll do some digging. He said you have to make some noise to distract them.
Howard asked if he's attracted to the wife of the neighbor. The caller said he is. He said he's not going to do it for some slob. Howard asked if that's cheating. The caller said he'll smell his wife's sometimes. He said that she would probably said it is. He said he doesn't think it is. He said that Bill wasn't really cheating on Hillary. Howard said yes he was. Howard asked if the neighbors ever ask what happened to Josh when he's missing. The caller, Josh, said he can get it done in a short time. He said he's not spending the night in the bathroom. Howard asked if he would ever tell his wife what he does. Josh said he'll keep that to himself. He said he doesn't mind doing the laundry because of that. He said it can be a treat.
Howard asked if he would smell a woman's socks. Josh said no way. Howard asked if you sniff for the vag or the smelly asshole. Josh said it's for the vag. He said King was right about the smell thing and how you can reconstitute it. He said he'll rub it under his nose like King said too.
Howard said he has to get an FBI agent on the line to talk about this. He picked up and the fake FBI guy said he's almost got him so keep him on the line a little longer.
Howard said King of All Blacks is on the phone too. He took his call and King said it sounds so weird hearing someone else say it but he's telling us this and he's disgusted by him saying it. He said he can't relate to him doing it but he does understand what he's saying. He said it's not cheating if you sniff your own wife's panties too. He said it's cheating if you don't do that. Howard said he's saying that he won't smell other people's panties, just his wife's. King said yes. Josh said he's lying about that. Josh said that he just said that he'd sniff Ivanka's panties. Howard said King's phone is awful so he has to hang up on him. He hung up on King and said he's done with Josh too. He said it's just fucking crazy how bad King's phone connection is. He said he annoys him so much.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Arnold Schwarzenegger. He said he had a maid and he loved smelling her panties. He said if he ran out of her underwear he would sniff his own. Howard said he's never heard that fetish. He let Arnold go.
Howard took a call from Fake Dr. Now from My 600 Pound Life. Dr. Now said this is not normal behavior. Howard said he agrees. Dr. Now said they're going to have big problem in their life if they keep doing this. Howard said he's right. He said it's a very bad thing to be doing.
Howard answered the door again and it was fake Greta going off on them for talking about this. Howard closed the door on her again.
The caller said it's the pheromone's in the panties that get guys going. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he would never do that to his wife. He said she'd think he's a weirdo if he was doing it. The caller said he is pretty weird himself and he's fisted his wife a few times. Howard said that's hard core. Howard said he was having sex with Beth and he wanted to sniff her arm pits. He said that's the only thing he does. The caller said the arm pit is full of pheromones too. Howard said enough already with the pheromones.
Howard opened the door for Greta again and she was going off on him about all of this stuff they were discussing.
Howard said he has the feeling that she's still talking when he closes the door. He kept opening and closing the fake door on fake Greta.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he really is a great interviewer. He said he heard that McCartney interview and it was great. He said he felt like Paul wrote this book based on his previous interviews with him. He said no one has gone as deep into it as Howard did when he was on in the past. He said he bets he had that in mind when he was writing the book. Howard said that he'd like to think that's the case but he's not sure he can take credit for it. He said he made no mention of that at all. He said it would have been cool if he had. Howard said that book was everything he wanted in a book from Paul. He said even when he was watching Oprah with Adele he got the feeling she's not a fan of the process. He said there's a lot of things he'd like to ask Adele about. He said there's more to it.
The caller said when Paul is interviewed no one goes into the details that Howard does. He said he talked to him about the song Help and it was fascinating when he got the story behind that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he misses him because his Sirius subscription expired. Howard said he has a friend who got a Tesla and they got a speaker upgrade and that led to him not being able to have Sirius. Gary said he had an experience with his Tesla and he test drove one that had Sirius recognize his account on his phone but when he got the car he wasn't able to change the channels. He said that he can only listen to it through the phone. Howard said it's kind of lame that they don't let you get Sirius. Gary said he heard that Elon Musk didn't like the way the antenna looked on the car. He said that they should have a Sirius interface on the phone and let you do things with it. Howard said it's a weird thing.
Howard asked what the caller wanted to say. The guy said it's just great listening to them on hold. He said that King of All Blacks is a sick dude. Howard said he gets it. The caller said he was watching Narcos 3 and he wondered if he's gotten into it. Howard said he already watched it. He said it's so good. Robin said she loves Diego Luna so much. Howard said he's not sure who that is. Robin said he runs everything. Howard said the lord of the skies guy. Robin said he's the guy who worries all the time. Howard said they're all great actors on the show. He said he buzzed trough it in like 3 days. He said he loves every character and actor in the show.
Howard said he wants to look like this one guy on the show. The caller said his name is Amato. Howard said he wonders if they're all Hispanic who don't speak English. Howard said he's not sure. Robin said she thinks they can. Howard said he can't get enough of that show. He said he loves Netflix for putting them all out at once too. He said you have to do that if you're a streaming service.
Howard said he loves SEAL Team 6 with David Boreanaz. He said that show is so good and they dribble that show out one episode a week on their streaming service. Howard said they should put it all out at once.
The caller said he heard that this is the last season of Narcos. Howard said that's a shame. He said that they could have kept it going with El Chapo. He said this guy is a smart little fucker. He said they could have kept it going.
Howard said in the show the guards are all answering to El Chapo. He said the show fucking rules.
Howard said he really thought ''Keep Yourself Alive'' was their best song. He said ''We Are the Champions'' was great too. He said ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' was the most complicated song they ever did. He said that song is all over the place. He played the transitions in the song where it went from one kind of music to another.
Howard said they never pissed on a single fan and just did their thing. He said imagine you're so desperate to get attention that you have to piss on a fan.
Howard said Queen wanted to put ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' out and the record label didn't want them to. He said they put it out and the record company had to cave in and release it.
Howard said when the song starts out as a ballad it's the same piano that Paul McCartney used when he recorded Hey Jude. Howard said it was also used on David Bowie's ''Life on Mars.'' He said that's crazy.
Howard said what a great band. He said he remembers when Freddie died. He said it's hard to believe it's 30 years. He said some of the rag magazines were brutal on him. He said it was depressing.
Howard said that Brian May came up with the guitar solo in the song and that's the only thing that Freddie didn't write. He said that they also know that Brian plays with a coin. He said he thinks it's a quarter. He said that's how he gets that sound. He said it's a very unique sound he gets on the guitar.
Howard said the guys found out that it's actually a sixpence that he uses. Robin said that's what she thought. She said he is from England. Howard said the next part of that song was made famous by Wayne's World. He said they were in the car shaking their heads and the song went up to number 2 on the charts 17 years later. Howard said the song was on the top 40 charts 3 times.
Howard said they say that Freddie was classically trained and this song sounds kind of like a classical song. He played the two to compare them.
Howard said he's kind of confused by the words in that song. He said that the song has that Scaramouche word. He said it's a clown from the 16th century. He said then there's Bismalah. He said that's Arabic and it's the name of Allah. He said that's the first word in the Koran. He went through some other references in the song like Magnifico and Figaro. He explained what all of those references were.
Howard said they have the big Baba Booey Bohemian Rhapsody song parody. He played some of that.
Howard said there it is. He said that's a little memory of Freddie. He said that he bets he would have been a great interview. He said he hears a lot of people talk about him and he was an interesting and fun guy. Robin said she has seen old interviews with him and he was an interesting man. Howard said Oprah probably would have gotten a hold of him first and they wouldn't have gotten him.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a after that.
Howard came back and wondered what happened to the Goo Goo Dolls. Robin said that she's not sure that's a good name for a band. Howard said they're good though. He said he agrees about the name. He said the lead singer's name was John Rzeznik. He said John talked about what this song is about. He said that he grew up in a blue collar town and there was a lot of domestic violence so that's what the song was about. Howard said they had a Gay Dance Party on the show and the band played for that. He said Jon Stewart came in to be part of that. He said half to the guys were dressed up in Navy outfits and half were dressed as women. He said he can't remember how he was dressed. Howard said Jon and Fred really hit it off that day. He said they danced together. He said he thinks he was dressed as Debra Winger. He said he likes dressing up as a woman. He said he's like that Harry Styles. He said he doesn't mind dressing as a woman.
Greta Thunberg knocked on the door again. He let her in for a second. Greta was going on and on about climate change and what we have to do. Howard said he gets it and he can't imagine what she'll be dealing with at his age. She said she'll never get to his age if they don't do something now. She also corrected him on how to say her last name. Howard said maybe she should smoke some weed to calm down. Howard closed the door on her again. Howard said he can't take it.
Howard said he was reading email earlier this morning. He said he still has more. He said the fans were moved by the story about Jeff the Vomit Guy's roommate. He said some people wrote in about how to help her get out of there and away from Jeff. Robin said that if you do that then he will need another roommate. She said he can't live by himself. Howard said they can't get rid of her then.
Howard read some of the feedback they got about this poor woman. Howard said he thought Jeff couldn't get more disgusting but he has more about Jeff from Wolfie. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking about keeping some of his dead birds on ice in his refrigerator. He said he has them in foil and Saran Wrap in his vegetable bin. Howard said this is a guy trying to turn a woman on. They had Jeff on with the woman who was pretending to be into vomiting on guys.
Howard said that they forgot about John the Stutterer on the Wack Pack list yesterday. He said they had some other suggestions. Howard said the original Big Foot (Matt McGrory) who was really tall is another one. Howard said he was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire with Robin. He said he was her special friend. Howard said he had a size 14 shoe. He said he had a lot of problems. He said he was a sweetheart though. He said he got some work in Hollywood. He said he was doing better than a lot of people. He said he died young though. Howard said Matt went on Millionaire with Robin and Regis was very nice about the whole thing. He said maybe Regis didn't think Robin was that hot after she revealed her boyfriend Matt.
Howard said that 2 out of 3 people involved in that are gone. He said Robin is the only one left. He said you never know in life.
Howard said he declared that Bobo is not a Wack Packer but fans voted on the Wrap Up Show poll and said that he is a Wack Packer. Howard said he didn't think of him as that but maybe they're right. Robin said he's on the fence. She said he could be a Wack Packer but maybe he's falling more on that side. Howard said Bobo is tough.
Howard had some audio of Robin with Big Foot and Regis on Millionaire. Howard played the clip. Howard said they may have to do a Wack Pack hall of fame.
Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult thought that Gary the Conqueror should be in the hall of fame even though they hate each other. Howard said that she also said no way to High Pitch Erik being in the hall of fame. Howard said he thinks Erik has to be in it.
Howard said Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf is another one. He said he died 20 years ago. He played some audio of Hank talking about who he hates and how he even hates himself and dwarves. Howard said he came in for the first time on August 16, 1996.
Howard had some audio of King of All Blacks, Mariann from Brooklyn and Jeff the Drunk saying that Beetlejuice should be in the hall of fame.
Howard said Beetlejuice is the Tom Brady of the Wack Pack for sure. He said no questions asked. He said he's the GOAT. Howard said Beetlejuice has a huge personality but a small head. He said he ended up getting appearances in a few movies. He was in Bubble Boy and Scary Movie 2. He said he's had a few hit songs too. He played some of his songs.
Howard said he says Bobo is not in the Wack Pack but Bobo agreed that Beetlejuice is top choice. He said he thinks that some people don't belong in there. He played some audio of Bobo talking about how Marfan Mike not being in there. He said Angry Alice no way. He said Ass Napkin Ed should not be in the Wack Pack hall of fame. He said it's a short lived time he's been in it. He said Asian Pete should not be in the hall of fame. He said Jeff the Vomit Guy and Mark the Bagger should not be in it either. Howard said that's insane. He said he's right about Beet though. He said that Beet hasn't been on the show in a long time. He said that his manager Sean died and now his mom keeps him at home. He said Sean pitched Beet to be on the show and said he had a head the size of an olive.
Howard said Beetlejuice has like 425,000 Twitter followers. He said he has a ton of TikTok followers too. He said Beet knows how to keep it going.
Howard said if you go by Bobo then they won't even have a Wack Pack. Robin asked why Bobo uses words that he can't even say. He tried to say a couple of words in the clip earlier and got them wrong. Howard said Bobo uses words and gets them wrong all the time.
Howard said Asian Pete is definitely in the wack Pack hall of fame. He had some audio of Pete saying that Jeff the Drunk should be first in.
Howard said that Sour Shoes should be in the hall of fame. He said they called him to ask who he thinks should be in and he answered as Gary Dell'Abate. Sour was talking about how he'd want to hear Hank the Dwarf Nicole Bass and Riley Martin. Howard said that was pretty awesome. He said he was shocked he didn't pick Beetlejuice to be in there. He said they asked him about that. He played the clip and Sour answered as Mad Dog Russo. He was asking where Beetlejuice has been over the past few years. He said they're talking about longevity there. He said his production has tailed off dramatically. He broke into Mike Francesca talking about Beetlejuice.
Howard said in that case Sour should be kicked out too. He said he regularly vanishes for 6 months at a time. He said that he has talked to him about that. He said there you go with the Wack Pack.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the thought he heard them saying that Beetlejuice is the best of all time. Howard said he didn't say that. Robin said she did. Howard said he knows Ralph thinks that Eric the Actor was the best. Ralph said he had so many things that were great about him. Robin said Beetlejuice was on the road and doing comedy shows. Robin said he got the biggest audience. Ralph said that Eric was the best. Robin said Beetlejuice has done so much more than he did though.
Howard said Beetlejuice would go out on the road with someone like Shuli and he'd end up running off and get lost. He said there were a lot of great stories there. He said Eric the Actor is great too. Robin said she love him too but Beetle was so full of content. She said he was just there and then he'd start singing a song.
Howard said JD agrees with Robin there. JD said he loved Eric too but he thinks that Beetlejuice was himself all the time. He said you got what you wanted. He said he was natural all the time and Eric had some shtick. He said he thinks that Johnny Fratto may have helped him out with that. Howard said that's ridiculous. He said Eric called the show as Derek the Actor. He said he though he had them fooled. Howard said Eric was really good. He said when he called Johnny and told him to bump a guy off saying ''You know what to do'' that was crazy. He said he'd freak out when they told him he had to fly with balloons. Robin said Beetlejuice was always huge when he walked into a room. Ralph asked whee he is now though.
Howard said Gary thinks Beetlejuice was the best of all time. Gar said the outfits alone were amazing. Howard said his greatest outfit was Superman outfit. JD said he thought the Erkel outfit was the best. Howard said one time he came in dressed up as George Bush. Gary said his Don King was great too. He said he loved his belligerence was so real too. He said he'd walk in and say ''Baba Booey fuck you'' sometimes. He said he had no idea why he was doing that.
Howard said Gary didn't like Eric the Actor. He said he was an asshole to him. Gary said Eric was a pain in the ass. He said that Beetlejuice just is.
Howard said Sal spent a lot of time on the road with Beetlejuice. He said that he bets he'd say that he was the best of all time. Howard got him on and Sal did say that he's the best of all time. Howard said he heard a story about Beetlejuice going out to eat with the guys. He said they went to this Chinese restaurant once. Sal said he handed him a menu and he was holding it upside down. He said he can't read so he didn't know. Howard said the best part is that he's going to be excited that he's getting him the dragon chicken. He said Beetlejuice said ''Nah, I don't eat dragon.'' Howard said he won't eat dragon.
Sal said one time they were staying in a hotel and Beetlejuice was taking a shower and the whole room was steaming up. He said he opened the door and Beetlejuice was on a step stool and he had shaving cream all over his face. He said he was shaving away. He said he walks out and he goes into the bathroom and the razor still had the clear cap over the blade. Howard said he didn't think he ever shaved. Sal said whatever he bought he bought. He said they were at the airport and you can get the carts off to take your luggage. He said Beetlejuice was putting his money in there waiting for something to come out and he would tell him to leave him alone if he asked him to stop.
Gary said the greatest part was when Beetlejuice said that Dominic would shit in his pants for him. Howard said these guys would go on tour and they had to bring him. He said nothing was worth that.
Richard said who used to get jealous of Beetlejuice was Iron Sheik. He said he'd get so angry about opening up for him. He said they'd fight back stage. He said they had to separate them. He said it was like standing in front of a freight train.
Howard said he thought Iron Sheik understood the show. He said that he wanted to fight Beetlejuice but he's not of this world. Richard said he wasn't scared either so he wanted to beat the shit out of Iron Sheik. Sal said Sheik would threaten to throw him out the window.
Howard said imagine you get to the point in your life where you're jealous of Beetlejuice. He said he sees people on Instagram wishing they were one of their cats. He said that these people get jealous about those things.
Gary said one of the most stressful days he had in his life was when he too Beetlejuice, Gary and Nicole Bass to a baseball game. He said he was in charge of Beetlejuice and he had to take him to the bathroom and things like that. He said he had to keep an eye on Gary too. He said they'd go their separate ways.
Howard said you can argue all you want about Beetlejuice and Eric. He said Eric was out of his mind about getting this TV deal and he wanted to be protected from vampires and werewolves. He said that was such a great moment. Robin said no one is like Beetlejuice. She said that he once came in there and threw up all over the place. She said then he had a turd on the floor in the bathroom when she went in there. Howard said there were great stories about Eric too. Ralph said that he insisted on things from the show.
Richard said that Jimmy Kimmel said that shaking Eric's hand was like shaking a plumb. Howard said how about Derek the actor. He said that was great. He said he did the Bunny Ranch thing too. He said his American Idol show was really bad and JD had to listen to every one of them. JD said he had to stay up until like 1am to hear what was going on with that show.
Howard said Eric had a lot of great moments on the show. They talked about a bunch of those things.
Howard said there's only one guy who knows the greatest Wack Packer of all time. He said that's Fred. Howard asked who he thinks is better, Eric or Beetlejuice. Fred said he seems to be outnumbered here. He said that he thinks that the best Wack Packer is by far and away Eric the Actor. Robin said Fred hardly listens to the show. Howard asked Fred to tell them why. Fred said that Beetlejuice is a prop. He said Eric brought his own thing to the show. Fred said that Beetlejuice was a prop and Eric was his own man.
Howard said he had Colin Quinn on the show and he was going to do a Taxi Driver remake for Eric and he told him he'd have to shave his head for the role. He said Eric refused to shave his head. Fred and Robin were arguing about who was better.
Sal said that Fred is wrong about Beetlejuice. He said he was a diva and he had demands too. He said that he didn't want to get involved in the songs and they had a stack of singles they'd pay him for doing the songs. He said they were able to throw numbers out there like they were paying him hundreds with just singles.
Howard said it's great that they have such a dilemma with who the greatest Wack Packer of all time is. Ralph said it's Eric. He said it's decided. Howard said he says Fred is the final decider. Richard said they have to get Jimmy Kimmel's thoughts on that. Howard said Jimmy misses Eric. He said he still talks to him about Eric. He said he would go on his wishlist page on Amazon and buy him stuff. He said Jimmy knows. Howard said Fred is right for one reason. He said they had to think up shit for Beetlejuice but not with Eric.
Fred said Eric is the best for just this line alone. He played him saying ''You know what to do... you know what to do.'' Howard said the best was when they were going to make a Real Doll out of Eric and told him that they were going to fuck the real doll on the air.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to say that he agrees with Robin. He said he thinks it's Beetlejuice. He said he was his first introduction to the show at 13. He said that he has to be in the hall of fame. Howard said he would be in the hall of fame for sure. Robin said that more stars called the show asking to be part of Beet's career. Fred said she's making that up. Howard said she's not. Fred said this show is a radio show and that's what you have to go by. Robin said that Beetlejuice was like a magnet. Howard said they have to end this and there is no resolution. Sal said that they asked Beetlejuice to spell red and he spelled it ''LSTR.'' Howard said Jerry O'Connell's mother was Beet's teacher so he blames her for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how they've forgotten Crackhead Bob. Howard said he's in the hall of fame. He said he was great too.
Howard said he would remind everyone that Eric would tweet and answer every comment no how absurd. He read one he had about how he doesn't look like a frozen turkey and didn't have gay sex with Lexington Steele.
Richard said he loved Cliff Palate. He said he passed away in 2006. He said he wanted to give him a shout out too. Howard said he's in the hall of fame too.
Howard said named him Cliff Palate and he didn't even have a cleft palate. He said he just spoke funny.
Robin said that one they forgot is Speech Impediment Man. JD said he found a tweet from Eric. He said it's to GonzoShitcock. He read the tweet which was about how he never sold Mary Kay.
Howard said that Eric wrote a script for them and it was Eric's Angels and it was just like Charlie's Angels. He said that he told him he can't just change it to his name. JD said he wanted to start a modeling agency and the women would have to live with him.
Howard said this is Eric pitching a hotel idea that he pitched to Donald Trump. Howard played the clip of Eric pitching the idea to Trump and saying that it would house sports teams. Trump was on the phone and said that he'd have to think about that. Howard told him to tell Eric he was fired. Trump told him he was fired but then took it back.
Howard said Eric was ahead of his time. He said he was a visionary like Moe Green in The Godfather.
Howard said he has Eric the Actor fighting them over the balloon stunt. Howard played the clip and Eric said you can't force him to do things on the show. He was really pissed about them demanding he do it. Eric was screaming at Howard that he won't do it. Howard told him he knows he will. Eric said no he will not.
Richard said that Robin used to have that statue of Eric on her desk. Robin said she loves Eric but he's not iconic. Howard said he likes this debate. He said it's like the Lincoln Douglas debates. Howard said they did enough show today. Robin asked if Speech Impediment Man is in the Wack Pack. Howard said yes. Robin said they haven't mentioned his name. Howard said he is in it. He said he's funny.
Howard asked who the guy is who had the conspiracy theories. JD said that's High Register Sean. Howard said he's in it too. He said there's a lot of people. Howard said Angry Alice is in there too. Gary said 100 percent. Howard said she screams and yells and carries on about black people and she's black. Howard said Alice would get mad at him for calling her crazy. He said she had horrible names for him. He said she'd call him Gay Howard and things like that. He said he didn't mind the ''Gay Howard'' thing.
Sal said he spoke to Alice recently and she's angrier than ever. He said she told him a story about going off on a guy for talking shit about her Ozzy t-shirt. He said her anger is through the roof. He said he's working on a package for Howard. Howard said he can't wait. He said that she told the guy that if she was in the Klan she'd string the guy up and hang him. Howard said she's the first one to admit she's angry. Sal said he asked her why she won't see a therapist and she said he should see one because he has more issues than he does. He said he couldn't argue with her on that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Beetlejuice had more reach than Eric did. He said they hired Beetlejuice for a bachelor party and they had him doing coke in the bathroom with them. He said that he had more reach than Eric did. Howard said imagine how irresponsible that is to give Beet coke. He said you have to watch out for the guy. The caller said the manager was there having a good time too. He said that was like 15 years ago. Howard thanked him for the story.
Richard asked about Yucko the Clown. Howard said he's not sure he's a Wack Packer. He said he's a character. He said he's a racist clown. He said he's out of the business now anyway.
Howard said the second Bigfoot is in the hall of fame. Gary said he's definitely not a character. Howard said Bigfoot was in love with a transsexual. He said she got too out of control for him. He said that he tried to sue the state of Vermont. He said that stuff went on all the time. Howard said he wants to hear the clip where they had Bigfoot arguing with himself. Richard and Sal brought that up. Howard asked if they have it. He said it's probably hard to pull it up. He said some day they'll be able to do that. Richard said he has the smell of a hall of famer too. Sal said they had to air out the studio when he'd come in.
Howard said he almost peed his pants the first time he heard Bigfoot yelling at himself. He said there's not many people who sound like that. He said he thought he could pull it up in time. Richard said they rode in a car with Bigfoot once. He said they thought they were going to die. He said that his trunk wouldn't close and it was flopping up and down. He didn't have a license. Sal said he had a shirt that said ''I heart NY'' and he asked him what it said and Bigfoot said ''Dog?''
Howard said he has the call now. He said this is Bigfoot calling Bigfoot. The guys had Bigfoot arguing with himself. He said this is the greatest thing ever. He said it's so good. Howard said there you go.
Howard said he thinks that Fred had the final word in the best Wack Packer. Fred said that everyone else voted for Trump in 2016 and he wasn't the best candidate. He said he thinks Howard should run from the start in 2024 and be there from the start. Howard said he could probably run and get out.
Howard said he's not sure what he has here but he has a bunch of clips up. Will told him he has another Bigfoot clip and one of Medicated Pete talking to himself. Howard played that one where Pete talked to clips of himself and had no idea.
Howard got a laugh out of that. He said that went on for like an hour and a half. He said he has the full Bigfoot calls Bigfoot call now. Howard answered a knock at the door first. Greta was going on and on about politicians and wondered why they were talking about the Wack Pack when so many things are wrong in this world. Howard asked who she likes better, Eric the Actor or Beetlejuice. She said she doesn't care because the planet is melting.
Howard asked if they want to go out on the Bigfoot Talking to Bigfoot. The guys said yeah so Howard played the call which went on for a few minutes.
Howard said that's the full version of that call. he said there you go. He said Bigfoot's greatest nemesis is Bigfoot. He said it's about time to end the show. They were done around 10:50am.
Howard picked up and Bobo said he's livid because he had the rapid test last Wednesday. He said they said they rushed him to get the infusion done and then he got a PCR test on Saturday. He said that's more conclusive and that came back negative. He said his doctor told him that if he's out walking on the trails then he can't have COVID. He said they say that he has the same symptoms but he never had a fever. Howard said he got the antibody treatment and took it away from someone. Bobo said it disturbed his inner clock system. Howard said this is like the time Bobo said he lost someone on 9/11 but it turned out over time that the person died after 9/11 and it had nothing to do with 9/11. He said he thinks he's had it with Bobo.
Bobo said it's the health professionals. Howard said he heard that. Bobo said he was told to get this COVID antibody thing. He said they all told him he had it.
Bobo said he has to think about this Wack Pack thing. Howard said he's tired of Bobo. He said he was feeling sorry for him. Bobo was campaigning to be in the Wack Pack. Howard said anything he wants he's not getting. He said he won't get in now.
Bobo said he should not be annoyed with him. He said he's the one suffering with this. He said he's a guy who had the symptoms and then they told him he had COVID. Howard said he's had it with him.
Howard said that someone said this morning that they didn't believe Bobo. Chris Wilding got on and said that this guy knows that Howard feels bad for someone with COVID and he figured he could have a kinship with him. He said it's a scummy thing to do to someone. Howard said he hopes that Jimmy Fallon sues him over this. Chris said Bobo traced it back to the ride at Universal. Bobo said he never said it was on the Jimmy Fallon part. Howard said he did say that. He said they called and said they're upset.
Howard said Chris is opening up his eyes. He said he's so eager to get sympathy from the audience that he said he had COVID. Chris said this is 9/12 all over again. He said you don't get symptoms the same day if you get COVID. Bobo said he had health professionals telling him that he was COVID positive.
Howard said he has a song about Bobo to play. He played the song and it was about how much people hate when he calls.
Howard said he deserves COVID if he went on that ride at Universal. Bobo said he was asked where he went. He said he didn't say he got it there. Robin said he did tell them that it was the Fallon ride. Bobo said that's a ride he went on but he never said he got it there. Bobo said that they dropped the ball when they told him he has COVID.
Howard said he can't take it anymore with Bobo. Bobo said he wouldn't do this to him. Howard said he used this as an example to his wife. He said she wants to go out and he tells her about him getting COVID. He said he sites all of this information and he should have known that he never gets it right. He said shame on him. Bobo said this isn't his fault.
Howard said what Bobo is doing now is shaming and bashing nurses who work so hard. Bobo said that he isn't. Howard said now Jimmy Fallon is on the line and wants to yell at him. He took a call from fake Jimmy Fallon who said he's going to sue him over this. He asked why he has to drag his name through this. Howard apologized to fake Jimmy over that. Jimmy called Bobo a fucking idiot and a cunt. Chris said that Jimmy is such a good guy.
Howard let Jimmy go. Bobo said he has to explain this. He said that it's not his fault. He said he was told that he had COVID. Chris said Bobo is a creep.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Bobo did this to get sympathy. Bobo said that he didn't do that. He told the guy to listen to him. The two of them were talking over one another. The caller said that he really did have COVID. He said this is like stolen valor.
Howard said he thinks what JT was saying is that Bobo always does this to him. Bobo said he didn't do anything. He said he was told he had COVID. Howard said he's going to give him something to think about today. He said a normal person would be ashamed that they got COVID at Universal. He said Bobo is so childish that he can't wait to go on the Jimmy Fallon ride. Bobo said he never had it though. Chris said he should go back to the tape and review what he said. Howard said he should do that. Bobo said this was not a lie. He said he was given the wrong information. Chris said he made it out like he was on death's door but all he had was a cold.
Howard said he's going to play the clip from the other day. He said he always does this to him. He said it's like that Munchausen by Proxy thing. Chris said next thing you know he'll say he was at Astroworld.
Howard played the clip of Bobo talking about getting his monoclonal antibody treatment at the hospital. Howard said he should have hung right up at that point. He screwed up how he said it. He couldn't even pronounce it. He wasn't able to say intravenous. Howard asked him how he says that. Bobo repeated it and got it wrong again. Howard said he can't believe this.
Howard played more of the audio and Bobo was talking about not being able to breathe. He was also talking about how he was at Universal and on the Jimmy Fallon ride. Chris said that's when he knew he was lying. Bobo said he just said he went on some rides and that's it. He said that's why he said that. Chris said that he dropped Jimmy's name because Howard knows him.
Howard asked what the Jimmy Fallon ride is. Bobo said it's a simulator that makes you go up in the air and it's fantastic. Howard said there's 12 more seconds left on this call. He played more and Bobo said he started feeling really bad that night and by Sunday he was really out of it. Robin said it's all lies. Bobo said it's not.
Howard asked what this clip is that he has about Bobo. Will said it's his proclamation. Howard played the clip of Bobo calling in and saying that he didn't call in last week because he had COVID. Chris said people hear that and they won't get the vaccine because they think Bobo got COVID after being vaccinated. Howard asked how many words he got wrong in that clip. Chris said it was every word.
Bobo said he's not lying about this stuff. Robin said she thinks he is lying about all of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they experienced the 9/11 thing and now the COVID thing. He asked if they think he's even vaccinated. Chris said that he looks like a guy who wouldn't get vaccinated. Bobo said he did get vaccinated. Robin asked if he got the fake card. Bobo said tat's right. Chris asked if he can see the positive test he has. Bobo said sure.
Howard said he's holding Bobo in contempt of this show. He said that when he does die from COVID then no one is going to care. Robin said they should punish him. Bobo said he was told he was COVID positive. He said he's not lying.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie and he should have hung up on him 20 minutes ago.
Chris said he thinks that Howard wasn't picking up on Bobo so this was his way of getting on the show. Howard said he's not going to talk to Bobo until the pandemic is over. He said that's his punishment. He said that's globally. He said he's talking about the whole world. Bobo said he's forgetting his whole family going through this. He said they all thought he had it. Robin said they have to go through a lot with Bobo every day.
Howard said he has Bobo's wife on the line. He picked up on fake Bobo's wife who was talking like Bobo in a female voice. Howard said it must be horrible living with him. He said he's with 9/11 and 9/12 and all of that. He said she should write a book. Mrs. Bobo said that she doesn't know what to do with him. Howard said he hears she sniffs like Bobo. She said he rubbed off on her after all these years. She said she's ready to throw him out of the house at this point. Howard asked if she dated anyone but Bobo. She said she's a tortured woman. She said that he never loved her or bought her flowers. Howard asked if fucking him is horrible. she said it is and he uses a big black dildo instead of his own penis and then she married him and found out he has a small penis.
Howard asked if Mrs. Bobo ever puts on sexy outfits for Bobo. She said she would but then he told his friends about it and humiliated her. She said that she wants to take him back to the Jimmy Fallon ride and maybe he'll get COVID for real. Shea asked if Jimmy can give him that for real. She said he needs to suffer for real. She said that she has to put his toupee over her eyes to fuck him. She said she hates her life. She said don't pick up on him anymore, he doesn't deserve it. She said she can't take it.
Howard asked if Bobo has anything to say to his wife. Bobo said he's just listening to all of this. Mrs. Bobo said she's going to give him a one way ticket to a wet market in Wuhan China. She said she has to put up with this guy night and day. she said he just calls Howard all the time. She said she's waiting for an apology. Howard said she should get the kids and go to a safe place. She said she can't do that because he's draining her bank account.
Howard said he bets that she used to like his voice but now she can't stand it. Mrs. Bobo said she vomits in her mouth every time he opens his mouth. She said imagine what it's like when he's on top of her fucking her. She said it's horrible. Howard let her go after that.
Bobo said to put this to rest can he show the first PCR test that was positive then they can see he's not lying.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if Bobo lied again. Chris said yes. Ralph said everything about him is a lie. He said he needs to be banned from the show. He said it's enough. He said they have to burn his puppet too. He said they have limited time with Howard and Bobo is wasting it.
Howard said he felt bad for Bobo. Chris said he's too kind. Robin said she was ready to go for Bobo. Chris said that Howard is very empathic and he buys into the pain. Howard said he has compassion. Ralph said it's enough. Howard said he gets sucked in. Chris said that people take advantage of Howard.
Robin said Bobo has done it so many times. Bobo said he did not take advantage of him. He said that he had the positive test with the rapid test. He said he wasn't lying.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's renaming Bobo to Dodo. She said her husband is in the hospital with COVID and he wasn't vaccinated. She said that she's triple vaxxed and she tested positive. She said she's not in the hospital. She said that you can get it and it lessens the effects of the virus. Howard said he's sorry about her husband.
Robin said she's sure there's a lot of things they're not hearing about. Howard said Bobo once called in with a joke and he stole it from Greg Gutfeld. He said they found out about it later.
Bobo said his wife is in there and she'll tell him that he had COVID. Howard talked to Bobo's wife (Dawn) about what happened. Howard asked how she is. Howard said he feels for her. She said that she never thought he did have COVID. She said that it was just based on his symptoms. She said that you don't go on the trails for 3 miles when you're sick.
Howard asked Dawn about Bobo. Dawn said that it embarrassing to be married to Bobo. Howard asked why he does this to him. He said he knew he didn't have COVID. Dawn said that Bobo is a hypochondriac and that's not good. She said if something is wrong they get it addressed. She said he did get the rapid test and they said he probably did have COVID. She said that she told him to get the ''PVR'' test or whatever the hell it is. She said he got that test and she knew it.
Howard asked Dawn if she wants to get out of the house and he'll call the police for her. He asked if he's a good lover. Dawn said she knew this was coming. She said she hasn't given him an interview in 18 years because of this. She said she has no complaints. Howard said alright then. She said he's a good husband. she said they have problems but he's a good husband. Dawn said he was diagnosed with COVID but he doesn't have it so that's that.
Howard thanked Dawn for the update. She told him that Bobo has photos of Howard on his phone instead of her. She said that he picks Howard over her a lot. Howard let Dawn go after that. He said it was good to hear from her. She told them to stay safe. Howard said don't go on the Jimmy Fallon ride without the booster shot. She said she already has it done. Howard let her go after that.
Howard got Bobo back and he said he has to go. He said he's lucky he got her on the phone. He said he can thank her for that. Robin said he only thought he had it. Howard said it's 40 minutes of the show eaten up by Bobo already. He said that's what he wanted. Chris said he got what he wanted. Howard said he hears him.
Steve said he was showing off his guitars and it was unreal. He said it was a great day. Howard asked if his replica 5150 guitar was the best one there. Steve said parts of it were. He said there were people who relic them in the modern style but his is done in 1986 style. He said the guitar is made of bass wood so he did a fake grain cut away. He said he went about a half inch too far with that. He said he learned a few things about it by going there.
Howard asked who pointed out he went too far with the grain. Steve said he saw it on other guitars. He said that he asked a guy who worked with Eddie about it and he told him some stuff about the guitars. Howard asked if he's going to build a new one. Steve said it takes too long. He said he thinks he has the most accurate replica of this one guitar. He told Howard about the twin guitars that they built and he thinks that this is the most accurate replica.
Howard asked if he brought that stuff up there too. Steve said he brought it all up there with him. Howard asked what the skate board is. Steve said it's an aluminum skate board and it has the stripes on it. He said his company sells them and they're pretty bad ass.
Howard asked what the end game is with all of this. Steve said he just enjoys it. He said that it's a fun thing to do. He said he now knows how to build and repair guitars. He said it's a legit skill to have. Robin said he said that about 50 times. Howard said he can do that if things fall through there.
Howard asked if they could get together and build an Eddie Van Halen replica. Howard said he has to congratulate Steve on getting engaged. He said he was a cocksman in the past and the last conversation they had a few years ago he was the stud of the show. He said that he was fucking like crazy. He said now he's engaged. He asked what happened. Steve said he met an amazing girl. He said he's been with her for more than 2 and a half years. He said he's just so happy with her.
Robin asked how he proposed. Steve said he went to Brooklyn Bridge Park and did it there. He said that she knew it was coming. Howard asked what he did. Steve said they went to the park and a friend of his came and he's a professional photographer and they took pictures as he proposed. He said he got on one knee and then they took their pictures. Howard said nice. He said that's crazy.
Howard said one of his daughters got engaged and they had it photographed. He said that the guy called him up an asked his permission. He said he gave him the go ahead. He said that he had no beef with him. He said that she told him that he's a good guy.
Howard asked if Steve asked the dad. Steve said he did. He said that it's a weird custom. He said it's the nice thing to do. Howard said his daughter had a photographer too. He said it's a weird thing to do but that's what people do now.
Howard said his daughter's fiancee wanted him to come to this place and they were all going to say surprise and all of that. He asked who wants their parents there when they get engaged. He said he wouldn't want that. He did an impression of his parents reacting to him asking them to come to his proposal.
Howard said this was his youngest daughter so he got very emotional. He said that he thinks of her at 6 years old and now she's getting married.
Howard asked Steve about how he was getting tons of women in the past and what happened there. He said he was able to go into a bar and pick up women. Steve said he got a good amount. Robin said he had a great batting average. Howard said he was bragging about how hard he'd give it to them. Steve said he did say he did fuck hard. Howard said he thinks he got into an argument about how he was the hardest fuck on the show. He asked who that was. Steve said it may have been Memet. Howard said there was a whole thing there that he forgets. <>Howard said Steve is the kind of guy who could walk into a bar and walk out with a woman. Robin said strippers would make out with him at the clubs. Steve said he got a stripper's number but they didn't go on a date. Howard said he was impressed with Steve when he heard that. He said strippers don't date customers. He said that's insane if they want to date you.
Howard asked how many women he'd say he slept with. Steve said he wouldn't say. Howard said it was impressive. Steve said it's less than you'd think. He said it was nothing crazy.
Howard said this girl must have checked all the boxes. He said she must be great in bed. He asked what it was about this girl. Steve said that they just get along so well. He said he just loves her so much. Robin asked if she's into Van Halen. Steve said she's okay with it. Howard said Steve is like their Wilt Chamberlain. He said he told him about a girl who started kissing and grabbing his crotch at a bar once. He said he's not lying. Steve said he doesn't even remember that. Howard said that's bullshit. He asked why he remembers. He said he remembers every story he told.
Howard said he thinks that Steve is kind of goofy looking but girls dig him. Robin said she had to select between him and Memet and she picked Steve. Steve said that Andy Cohen also chose him over Memet. Howard said good for you.
Howard said in 2017 Steve said he was banging 2-3 girls a month. Howard said that's impressive. He said that's racking up big numbers. He said this girl must be really hot if he's going to settle down.
Howard asked if Ronnie has met this girl. Steve said he has met her. Howard said he has to get Ronnie on to talk about this. He asked what the story is on this girl. Ronnie said she's very hot. He said she's beautiful. Howard asked if she's smokin' hot. Ronnie said she is and she has a great personality too. He said she's a fun girl. He congratulated Steve.
Howard said Steve told a story about a girl that soaked his bed when they were having sex. Steve said that was an old story. He said that mattress is in a landfill somewhere now.
Howard said he has a quote from Steve where he said he has no technique but he fucks hard. He wondered if he fucks hard too. He said Beth would know. Ronnie asked if he starts off hard or does he work into it. Steve said you have to work into it.
Howard said he has a feeling that he fucks medium. He said he's afraid of braking his dick like some guys do when they fuck hard. Ronnie said that they're pumping so hard that it goes in and out too far and they break it. He said you can do it without breaking your dick. He said you leave it in there and pump hard with it inside.
Howard had another quote from Steve who said his cock is the size of a banana. He asked if it curves like that too. Steve said it curves a bit. He said it's like 6 3/4 long. Howard said good for you. He said congratulations. He said he thinks that all the dudes on the show are taken. He said that Memet used to be a player too. He said Benjy is available but he doesn't open up the right way. He said he thinks that he's going to get locked up and tie himself up. He said that Benjy and Ralph are the only two bachelors left on the show. Robin said she forgot about Ralph.
Howard said Benjy is the last bachelor. He asked what he think about that. Benjy said he does get envious of these guys. Howard said that was a good talk. He said he's glad he brought him into this.
Howard congratulated Steve on his guitar success and the engagement. He asked Steve to play a bit. Steve played some Van Halen for him.
Howard said the other news was that Steve got to hold the actual drill that Eddie Van Halen used. Steve said he made his own and it looked just like it. He demonstrated how Eddie used it before Howard went into a live commercial read. Steve played some Metallica going into that commercial. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said this is one of the best songs. He said the drummer on this is Phil Collins. He said he was a huge John Bonham fan and he reached out to Robert Plant and they did this together. Robin said she wouldn't have thought those two would hang out. Howard said you never know.
Howard said Phil Collins felt that Robert Plant performing without John Bonham would be very hard. He said Robert Plant came in and said that he did help him dig out of the bottomless pit that he was in. He said he thinks the band should have gone on without John Bonham. He said they didn't want to do that. He said these rock stars don't think practically. Robins said they have done alright. Howard said Jimmy Page is still walking around wondering if he's the crazy one wanting to go out and perform. He said he needs Robert Plant to be in on this.
Howard said they have a lot to get to today. He said they had Bobo take up a good part of the show earlier. He said you never know where it's going to go.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she apologizes for being so crass but what do they mean by ''fucking hard.'' She asked if it's pounding someone or what. Howard said he's not much of a man so she's asking the wrong guy. He said that Beth likes it hard so he just rapidly pushes his peen into that ''vagine.'' He said he's not sure if it's hard but it is fast. He said he's not sure but he interprets that as being fast.
Howard said he just puts it in and hopes for the best. He said some of the guys said that it's ''relentless pounding'' that's fucking hard. The caller, Kat, said if you're sore or hurt after then it's fucking hard. She said she's just throwing it out there. Howard said when they get past this whole pandemic they have to let Steve demonstrate on Robin. Robins said they have Real Dolls to do that with. Howard said that it's relentless pounding then.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wants to talk about Beth. He said he was listening to her on the air the other day and it was so awesome and he could hear Howard smiling. He said it was great to listen to and Howard is such a great interviewer. He said they have to get Beth on there more. Howard said he'd like her to come on more but she doesn't want to be on the air so much. He said it's hard to get her down there to do things like the Hydrow commercial. He said she wants to talk about it but it's very hard to get her in there.
Howard said he hears Beth in conversation and it's Beth on the Hydrow and she has this big smile on her face while she's watching the instructor. He said she's so happy when she does this. He said what a commercial for this thing. He said it's crazy.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Greta Thunberg going off on him for talking about pounding when there's so many things going wrong with the environment. Howard said he got a lot of fan mail about her. He said that the fans like her on the show. He read through some of the feedback. Fake Greta was going off on him for taking email because it uses power and we can't continue to do this with what's happening in the world.
Howard said he just realized that Greta is the opposite of Bobo. He said everyone loves her. She said that there's nothing funny about a dying earth. Howard said people tap into her anger and they enjoy it. He said he thinks that she'll like this very much. He had a song parody about Greta. They had taken clips of her and put them to music. Greta said how dare he do that. She was using that line and the ''blah, blah, blah'' thing a lot.
Howard closed the door on Greta and she screwed as it closed. Howard said he has to ask her one more thing. He asked her if she should be in school. She said she should be but she has to save the world. Howard closed the door on her again. Robin said she's not sure if she even goes to school. Howard said they have to find out more about her.
Howard said he has Mildred on the phone not talk about what hard fucking is. Chris Wilding did his Mildred voice talking about turning your cunt into an old catcher's mitt and things like that. she said that's what hard fucking is.
Howard said the Wack Pack Hall of Fame discussion led to a lot of fan mail. He said on Tuesday's show they were talking about that and they were having some trouble figuring out if Eric the Actor or Beetlejuice should be the Greatest Of All Time. Howard said the fans were split too. Howard read some of the comments they got about the two of them. Howard said he has some for Beetlejuice and some for Eric the Actor.
Howard said he has Mariann from Brooklyn with a statement. Mariann said Howard really likes her but she loves Howard. She said she's thankful for the hang ups too. Howard said he thought she wanted to say something about her favorite Wack Packers. Mariann said it's Beetlejuice. She said that's her favorite. She said she wanted to thank him for inducting her into the hall of fame. She said Beetlejuice was pre-Eric and he accepted Beetlejuice. She said that Eric is up there but it's Beetlejuice. Howard hung up on her.
Howard said the Wrap Up Show did a poll and they had 64 percent vote for Beetlejuice. He said they love them both. Robin said Fred said that Eric came up with his stuff on his own but she thought about it and it was Johnny Fratto who helped him out a lot.
Howard said the guys took those clips and called a restaurant. He played the clip and Richard called in saying he was calling from a cooking school. They had Beetlejuice talking to the host of the show about food. Beetlejuice was telling the host about how much he likes ham. He was telling her about all kinds of things. Then Beetlejuice dropped his food and got all pissed off at he host of the show and at Richard. Beetlejuice was calling him a piece of garbage and said he was going to knock him out. Then they played a punch sound and Richard was knocked out.
Robin said Beetlejuice is a great guest on a cooking show. Howard said they were going to call him Mario Beet-tali. Howard said they don't get him in there live anymore but they can chop him up and do new Beet stuff. He said it's very time consuming but they came through with that.
Howard asked Sal if he was the one watching the cooking show with Beetlejuice in his hotel room. Sal said it wasn't him. Howard said he heard a story about Beetlejuice on the road and he was in a room with one of them and on TV there was a cooking show and Beetlejuice said ''Wow! That smells good.''
Sal said Beetlejuice thought things on TV were real. He said that he'd explain things to people like he had just seen it. He said he'd watch COPS and tell people about guys getting shot right there the night before. He said he was explaining COPS as if it actually happened. He said he was convinced that it actually happened.
Sal said Beetlejuice liked menthol cigarettes and he once asked for Newports but they were out and the woman offered him another menthol and Beetlejuice told her that he doesn't smoke menthols.
Richard told a story about doing a show in Atlantic City once and they had Beetlejuice knock on the door but they didn't see anyone outside the peep hole. He said that Beetlejuice somehow found their room and got in there. He said they ordered a pizza and fell asleep before it came. He said the next day Beetlejuice had eaten most of the pizza himself. He said that they have no idea how he paid for it or anything. He said Beetlejuice had no idea what they were talking about when they asked him about it.
Howard said one time Beetlejuice went out and got a tattoo of his face on himself and no one knew how it happened. He asked if Sal was there for that. Sal said he wasn't. Richard said they needed a tracker on him or something. He said they'd go to the airport and people would ask him for his autograph and he'd curse them. Sal said he drove security crazy too. He said they were flying to Canada once and they asked him why he was there and he said that he was flying to Mexico.
Richard said flying with Beetlejuice was great. Sal said it was great for them but not for anyone on the plane. He said his breath was so bad that people would aim their air vents to blow over their heads to blow his breath away.
Howard said he loves that they stick him in another seat not near them. Richard said watching him eat was great. He said he'd attack it like a buzzard attacking a carcass. He said he'd pick up little pieces and the tray would have food all over the place. He said it was so entertaining to watch. He said he ended up starting to sit next to him. He said he got stuck with watching him on planes and stuff. Howard thanked the boys for those stories.
Howard said someone wrote in about how Hank the Dwarf should have been the GOAT. He read that note and the guy was pointing out a lot of things about Hank that made him the greatest of all time. Howard said the guy is right.
Howard said that someone said Sal is the greatest Wack Packer and Eric is next. Howard read more feedback and someone said that Richard is the greatest.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to make a case for Beetlejuice. She said that no other Wack Packer has gotten a band to cover their songs. She said she hasn't heard that song in so long. Howard said that was great when the band Staind did the Beetlejuice song. He said they actually recorded it. Robin said that was ''Bad as Can.'' Howard said that was Aaron Lewis from Staind.
Howard asked the guys if they have that song available. Fred had it a short time later but Howard told him to hold off for a second. Howard said the guys found it real fast. He played Staind's cover of ''Bad as Can.'' He said it's hypnotic.
Howard said people can't let go of this. He took another call from a guy who said he thinks that Beetlejuice is great for never backing down on Iron Sheik. Howard said they might have some clips to play. He asked if they ever did that on the air. Gary said he's not sure. He said they're looking for it. Howard said he'll play that if they find something.
Howard said speaking of Beth she sent him this offer she got to be on Celebrity Big Brother with host Julie Chen. Howard said he got so angry when he read this thing. He said it's so insulting. He said they have this thing called Celebrity Big Brother. He said he'd love to know who is on the list. He said that they only send this letter to losers. He said they think his wife is a loser and she'll go on Celebrity Big Brother and ruin his life. Howard said they lock you up in a house for a long time. Howard said Julie's husband should be in there. He said if his wife had to do this he'd be divorced. Howard said JD told him that it's terrible and they have to sleep in the same room with other dudes. Howard said JD saw his notes for the show and told him not to let her do it. He said he made a list of reasons not to do it.
Howard asked JD to read his list. JD said he made it just in case she wanted to do it. Howard said there's no way she'd do it. JD said that you're recorded 24/7 and they find one wrong thing and it ends up on the internet. He said any girl who is in a sexy outfit they will find it. He said it gets posted on the internet immediately. Howard said his wife isn't going to do that show. He said there's no way.
Robin asked who has done that show. JD ran down a list of people who have been on that show. There were a lot of people who haven't done much lately.
Howard said they include a letter of the pay schedule for the show. Howard said Beth says she's not even a celebrity. He said they go after the wives of famous people. Howard said you have to feel like shit if you go on there like that. Howard said they must think she'd do the show because her husband is a lunatic. He said he was thinking that they thought she'd do it because he did America's Got Talent and maybe he lost his mind.
Howard said that he can't even get his own wife on this show. He said imagine Julie Chen sitting there with his wife. He said Julie should be in that fucking house. He said he can host. He said get Les and Julie in the show and he'll host. He said that's his offer. He said get Harvey Weinstein in that house too. He said he'd do it to get out of prison.
Howard said it was a little insulting when he read the pay scale. He said he won't say the amount. He said he makes a good living. He said the longer you stay in the house you get a little more money. He said it really is just a little. He said it's not a big bump. He said if you win then you get the big money. He said you get a bonus pay. JD said on regular big brother it was $750,000. Howard said it's not even close on Celebrity Big Brother.
Howard said maybe they can get Mel Gibson in there. He said he saw that Mel was offered a movie. He said they say the Jews run things but if they do then Mel wouldn't be making movies. He said he's directing Lethal Weapon 5. He said he might have to go see that. Robin said those guys can't even walk anymore. Howard said he thought Danny Glover said he was too old for this shit in the first one. He said he was like 40 in that one. He said now he's like 75. Howard said so much for cancel culture. He said it's a myth. He said the latest script is from the same person who wrote The Equalizer films. He said that guy is good. He said Mel is going to star in a John Wick spin off. He asked how the Jews are running Hollywood if he's working.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mel Gibson telling him to open this fucking door. He said no one can cancel him. Howard said he thought the Jews would stop him but he just keeps working and working. Mel said he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He said he's invincible. He was out of breath yelling at Howard. Howard asked why that is. Mel said he's in control and he can do whatever he wants. He said they'll use real guns, real bullets and real Jews in his movie. He said if you don't like it then you can go fuck yourself. He said the Jews suck all the air out so that's why it's so hard to breathe. He said Howard can suck on it and ''baloney me.'' Howard shut the door on him and he was still talking. Howard said once he closes the door he can't talk anymore. Mel said the door is so thin that he can still hear him. Robin said he has to get a thicker door.
Howard said Mel should get a stress test. Mel said Howard is the only thing that stresses him. Howard said he's not sure how he keeps working. Howard said the guy does make good movies. He said talent must outweigh any bullshit. Robin said he doesn't look good now. Howard said he might be better looking than Mel now. He asked if you'd ever predict that. Mel was yelling through the door to say that to his face. Howard said he can't yell through the door. Howard said he loves when he tells that woman to just shut up and blow him.
Howard said when you hate the Jews it really ages you. He said that's what they learned. He said Hitler lost his looks very young too. Robin said Mel Gibson was so good looking when he was young that she wanted him to pick her up like he did with a lamb in a movie she saw. They played some audio of Mel yelling at his girlfriend where he told her to just smile and blow him because he deserves it. Howard said he deserves it because he's Mel Gibson.
Howard said meanwhile today they'd be doing that all over text. He said it wouldn't be that good. Howard played more of Mel's rants where he used the N-word. Robin asked if he's going to call Danny Glover and apologize for that.
Howard opened the door again and Mel was still panting out there and saying that he'd bang Robin in the rose garden. He asked if she's a fucking Jew. He said she should get a blood test to find out. Howard shut the door on him again.
Howard said he wants to know who Celebrity Big Brother reached out to. He read the letter they sent to Beth and talked about how insulting that is. He said that would fuck his life up entirely. Howard asked how long they tape that show for. JD said it's like for a month. Howard said when Les Moonves shows up then his wife will show up. He asked how that is. He said you know they sent that letter out to a ton of people and maybe someone like Angelina Jolie. Robin said they have to start with people who were big at one time.
JD said he's looking at an article that says that Clay Aiken, Boston Rob, Dax Taylor and others are on the list. He said Kellyanne Conway too. Howard said what a group. He said he'd be so humiliated. JD said Lisa Rinna and Scott Dissick are also on the list. He said these are all rumors though.
Howard said if you go on that show you're at rock bottom. He said that he'd get that woman who pissed on the guy at the concert. He said that would be hot. He said they should make a list of people who they think would do the show. Howard said he doesn't think JD would even go on that show. JD said no way. He said he's not going to use the bathroom because they have a camera in there. Howard said they have to have the camera in there because on the reality shows they try to run from the cameras. He said they have to have one in there so they can't run from the cameras. JD said he's not sure what the rules are but he knows he's seen shots from up above in the bathroom. Howard said they must tell them there's one in there and they just tell them to turn the audio on while they're in there. He said if you're taking a shit then you don't want to hear it. He said Clay Aiken must be disappointed in his life. He said that he had something going on at one point. Robin said his career seems to be petering out. Howard said he used to have the Claymates. He said now he's got none of that. He asked if he still tours and would anyone show up. Robin said he hasn't put out an album in a while. Howard said he thinks Ralph was a Claymate.
Howard said Clay lost to Ruben Stoddard. He said he remembers that. He said he remembers being into that whole thing. He said people would say ''Ruben Stoddard, enough said.''
Howard asked JD who else was on that list. He mentioned Kellyanne Conway. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with her. Robin said that White House was full of people like that. Howard said she must rock that bedroom if her husband sticks with her. He said that administration attracted awful people. He said this guy General Flynn is something. He said that dude gave a speech the other day about how we should have one religion in this country. He said the country is based on freedom of religion. He said it's crazy. He said then Trump has a hold on these guys and they have this whole bunch of people who voted for the infrastructure bill and some to impeach him. He said thanks to these assholes that follow Trump they have a dead police officer at the Capitol on January 6th.
Howard said these guys voted for the infrastructure bill and they need new roads and bridges and don't care about Trump. He said they voted for that and now Trump calls them traitors and wants to get someone in his camp to run against them. He said these dudes who follow him are up on charges and it's crazy stuff. He said it's just so crazy.
Robin said that's where crazy people can go to get re energized. Howard said even Mitch McConnell voted for the bill. Robin said they were saying that we're spending more on infrastructure than China is.
Howard said the guy who died on January 6th was Brian Sicknick. He said he likes to say his name.
Howard read more of that Celebrity Big Brother letter that Beth got. He said Beth isn't going to Los Angeles. He said imagine competing with those people. He asked what the competitions are. He said he doesn't watch. JD said some are strenuous and you have to hold on to a rope for as long as you can and things like that. He said you get cold water poured on you and things like that. Howard told JD to write to Julie that as soon as Les is on that show holding on to a rope is when his wife will go on it. He said his wife isn't going to do that dumb show.
JD told Howard some of the things that go on there and what it would be like for Beth. Howard said his wife isn't going to do that. He said get Les out of the mothballs and stick him on that show. He said he'd rather have his wife run off with the Taliban than go on that show. He said that's less embarrassing. He said what a sorry crew of people on that show. He said JD is a Big Brother expert. He said he goes to him when he needs information. He said he has signed up for the 24 hour feed. JD said he has. Howard asked who the greatest Celebrity Big Brother contestant was. JD said he's pretty sure that he liked Tamar Braxton. Howard asked who that is. JD said that's Toni Braxton's sister. Howard asked if they ever recorded her in the bathroom. He asked why she's so good. JD explained how she got so many votes in the end and things like that. Howard asked what Julie does. JD said she interviews them after they get evicted and stuff. Howard said that's just what he wants for his wife. He said imagine the depths of despair he'd be in to do that show. He said he'd kill himself before doing that show.
Howard said when Les goes on that show that's when he'll consider this. Howard read about the person who won the first season of Celebrity Big brother. It was Marissa Jaret Winokur. He had no idea who she was. He said she played the lead in Hairspray. He said you have to know someone's name to call them a celebrity. JD said that she beat out Ross Matthews. He said that Meta World Peace didn't know how to vote so he cast his vote the wrong way.
Howard said Julie Chen Moonves signs off with words of wisdom. JD said she has been doing that since last year. Howard asked if he likes that. JD said no because you watch people shit talk each other for an hour and then she's telling you to be kind to one another. Robin said that's like the Jerry Springer show. Howard played a clip of Julie giving her advice to leave judgment at the door and things like that. Howard said how about some advice like ''don't fuck your assistants and get fired.'' Howard played more of Julie's advice from the end of Big Brother episodes. Howard said the humiliation of going on that show.
JD said that she gets contestants and crew members bibles and stuff. He said she's very religious. Howard said that's what you do when you're in trouble. He said you hand out bibles from your imaginary friend.
Howard said television sucks. He said that's what it's like now. He did his impression of Julie giving her words of wisdom. Howard said he thinks that if he called tomorrow they'd still take Beth over there. He played more of the clips of Julie giving her words of wisdom. Howard made up more of his own and suggested that you sniff your husband's fingers when he comes home from work. He said remember to wipe front to back too.
Howard said it's all such nonsense. He played more of her words of wisdom. He asked what she says first. JD said ''Lets eavesdrop on the house guests...'' Howard did that and made up more nonsense that she could say. He would play a clip and then make up more of his own nonsense words of wisdom. He said remember when you fuck, fuck hard. He had a bunch of other nonsense he was spewing.
Howard read more of the letter that Beth got from Celebrity Big Brother. They were talking about how the show works. He said they will move to a Los Angeles hotel and do a press junket and will quarantine for 7 days. Howard said Beth would have to leave him a week earlier. He said that they must think she's hard up if they think she wants to do that show. Howard said all of these people must hate their spouses and want to do the show. Howard said they have no contact with the world outside of the house. Howard said sure, don't bother. He said please don't send this shit to his wife. He said god forbid she breaks down and wants to do this shit. He said imagine she leaves him to go to the Big Brother house. He said Lisa Rinna's husband must be thrilled. He did an impression of that guy talking about going to Italy for months. Howard asked what his name is. JD said it's Harry Hamlin. Howard did his impression of him talking really slow.
Howard asked who was on last season. JD said that was Tamar Braxton. He said Kato Kaelin and Tom Green teamed up on the show. He said Lolo Jones was also on the show. JD said there was also Dina Lohan. Howard said now Beth will do it. He said he didn't know it was that caliber of person. He said CBS must really think he's a turd. He said that they must have put some thought into it. He said he makes decent money. JD said Joey Lawrence was on the show too. Howard asked what he did. JD said he was Joey on Blossom. Howard said he didn't even change his name for the show. JD said he was also on Gimme a Break.
Howard said the only part he's leaving out is the money. He said it's just weird. He wondered if they send letters to George Clooney to see if his wife Amal wants to do it. He made up what that might sound like.
Howard said he's really insulted by this letter. He said imagine they send that letter to Meghan Markle. He wondered if they ask Stedman. He said that he gets no respect. He asked if they sent one to Melania. He made up what that letter would sound like. He said it's really fucking insulting. He said he demands a list of famous dudes whose wives got that letter. He said he's whacked out of his head over this. Robin asked if they sent one to Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he knows for a fact that Molly didn't get one. He said how about Shailene Woodley. He said he thinks this is really insulting. He said it's making him nuts.
Howard wondered if they asked Greta Thunberg. He opened the door and asked Greta if she was asked to do Celebrity Big Brother. Fake Greta said she can't think about that when the earth is being tortured by big brother. She said how dare he. Howard shut the door on her.
Howard asked if they wrote to Ben Affleck and asked J-Lo if she's busy. He said he's fairly important in show business. He said how about Connie Chung being asked. He said he bets they have more respect for Maury Povich than they do for him. He said that panty picture must have done it for them.
Howard asked why they don't write to Stedman. Robin said Oprah won't let him do it. She said they don't want her mad at CBS.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he knows why they have a camera in the bathroom on Big Brother. Howard asked why. Jeff said some girl used Dr. Will's toothbrush to scrub a toilet bowl once. He said he thinks that's why they have it in there. Howard thanked him for the call. Jeff said that's a thing. Howard said he's a fascinating man. Jeff said some girl used a toothbrush to scrub the toilet bowl. Howard said he struggles with every word. Jeff said he was trying to make him understand. Howard said this was a home run call. Howard said he should drop the microphone. Jeff asked what he just said. Howard said he said this... and did his impression of Jeff mumbling out his comments. Howard let Jeff go after that.
Howard said Jeff is getting his arm removed. He said he finally decided to do it. He said he gets updates from the guys about that. He said his arm doesn't work and they told him to get it removed. He said Jeff was holding on to it thinking that they'd be able to revive it some day. He said his life will be easier without that arm. He said he gets why he wanted to keep it. He said that hasn't happened and it's just a pain in the ass for him now.
Howard asked the guys if he's right about that. Chris Wilding said Jeff wants it done before the holidays but he's not sure if he has had his meetings yet. He said he definitely wants it done. Howard said he heard that Jeff took the vaccine in his good arm instead of the dead arm. Chris said he asked him about that and he said he got it in his good arm and he doesn't want it in the dead arm. He could get it in either. Howard said he heard he wants to hang it from the Christmas tree when he gets it done.
Howard said he heard Chris is going to Panama tomorrow. Chris said he is. He said he's nervous. Howard said he must really be in love. Chris said he is. He said he'll be there until next week. He said it'll be fun. He said his friend is excited. Howard said he's with a guy and he's very excited about it. He has to go to Panama to get him. Chris said he's come to New York many times. He said he's gotten his vaccines and he's boosted as well. He said he'll be wearing a N95 mask with a mask over that. He said he'll be wearing goggles on the plane too.
Chris was telling Howard about what his boyfriend said to him and he was cutting out a bit. Chris said his boyfriend asked him to bring a dildo so he can stick it up his ass while he sucks his dick. He said he's not sure why but he'd have to bring his own dildo. Howard said that's not right.
Howard said it sounds like it's a hot spot down in Panama. Chris said that they're doing better than we are right now so he's fine. He said his boyfriend is a doctor too. He said they got their tests and they're going to be very safe. He said he's going to have a lot of information. Chris said he's taking anti-HIV pills on top of all of that stuff. Howard said he thought he was taking birth control or something. Chris said his boyfriend joked that he was going to get him pregnant. He did an impression of what the boyfriend apparently sounds like. He said Ralph does an impression of the guy's laugh too. He said Ralph is very protective of him. He said he always wants to know what he's up to when he's out.
Howard asked if he's going to propose. Chris said he doesn't think so but they're going to a nice island so that would be the perfect place to do it.
Howard asked what he'll be wearing up there. Chris said that he'll be wearing swim trunks. He said his boyfriend will wear a Speedo. He said his boyfriend does want him to wear a Speedo. Howard asked if you can see the outline of his cock. Chris said he can and it's fantastic. He said the guy is hot and he's built. He was breaking up again. Chris said that he's hard wired so he's not on WiFi. He said it's been doing that a lot for everyone lately.
Howard asked if he feels weird when they're out there and he's wearing a Speedo. Chris said they did go out when he was in New York and it was a bit much for that area. He said that his bathing suit was so small and tight that you could see what religion he was.
Howard asked what he does when they start doing it. Chris said he'll push him on the bed and tell him what he's going to do to him. He did his impression of the boyfriend's deep voiced laugh again.
Chris said the boyfriend will shake when he cums so it's really wild. He said he shoots all over the place too. He said it's like Kill Bill all over the place. Howard did his impression of the boyfriend but he sounded like Dracula. He had Chris laughing though.
Howard had the boyfriend talking about roaming the streets of Panama and pulling down his pants and putting his fang marks in his cock. He said he'd be licking his butt cheeks too. He said he'll never have to go on Celebrity Big Brother if he's with him. Fred had some dramatic music playing behind Howard as that was happening. Howard said his cum will fly in his face like a bat.
Howard said he realized that Chris loses his connection when he starts talking sexy about his boyfriend. Chris said his connection must be homophobic. Howard did more of the impression as Dracula. He said his butthole is his. He said that's enough of that. He wished Chris luck and said he hopes he doesn't get COVID. Chris said he hopes he has a nice time. Howard said there's a lot of potholes they can hit during this trip. He told him to be safe out there. Chris said it's better to be safe than sorry. Howard said no sex is worth STDs or any of that shit. Chris said even if the guy fucks hard.
Howard said he thinks they're done. He said his boyfriend is on the phone. He took the call from fake Chris' boyfriend. He sounded like Ham Hands Bill. Howard hung up on him pretty quick and told Chris to be safe out there. He did more of his boyfriend impression and ended the show around 10:15am.