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Howard said Robin is having a lighting issue. He asked if he can hear her. Robin said he can but she's thrown off by the lights. She said she's not sure what's going on. She said they want her to fix the computer. She said that didn't work out too well. Howard said he likes the look. He said it's kind of Halloween. He said someone could sneak up behind her.
Howard said he watches Beverly Hills Housewives and you watch to see the women and how horrible they are. He said they're vomitus. He said one of the new women, Crystal, has a husband who wonders if she should be on to show her life. He said she buys a $95,000 purse. He said he told his wife that she's into fashion but she can't imagine buying a bag that expensive. He said he can't imagine how you can rationalize that. He said it's a tiny bag with leather squares on it. He said it's so nothing. He said he can't imagine how they get that kind of money for it. He said it has to be a case of The Emperor's New Clothes. Robin said she hears about these bags that sell for that kind of money.
Howard said he brings this up because he tells his wife that they're always showing off jewelry on the show and they show you around the house. He said if you're a criminal you see this and think about how you can just drop by their house and clean them out. He said sure enough they've had their homes hit. He said Dorit Kemsley was robbed while she was in her house. He said they love to show you their stuff and this woman was robbed. He said Lisa Rinna shows off all of her stuff too. He said they don't seem to care about showing it off.
Howard said this one woman is always talking about how she has to show off her heritage all the time. He said he wants her to shut up about that. He said he loves that show though.
Robin said Paris Hilton was robbed too. She said there was a whole group of young people who watched those shows and they figured out when they were not at home and knocked off the house. Howard said he thinks Kyle Richards has been robbed too. He said he thinks there's a whole list of them. Robin said you'd think one robbery would teach them. Howard said you see what's going on and you think you can take a shot at taking a few items. He said there's a lot to steal. He said one woman was showing off her wealth. He said it was Kathy Hilton. He said she had a big ugly vase that was worth like $100,000. He said use your head and don't show that stuff. He said stay off TV.
Howard said he makes a good living but he doesn't live like that. He said they have people kissing your ass and hanging over you.
JD said there's another one where Erika Jayne said her husband had someone invade his home. He said it's a pandemic out there. Howard said she's a little too angry for him. He said these broads have no shame. He said they dress inappropriately anyway. He said he doesn't want to get into that though. He said he's spent too much time on this.
Howard said these broads have so much money and they just have to be on TV. He said he's not sure why. He said they show off this stuff and get robbed. He said he's not sure why they do it.
JD said they even show how much the stuff is worth. Howard said the bags are worth like $7 when they steal it and try to sell it. He said the world is so fucked up. Howard said they show you where they keep everything in their house.
The caller, Paul, said he likes that PornHub has High-Def. Howard said he watches on his phone so it doesn't matter. He said he likes to spank it out real quick. He said he heard a funny thing. He said Ronnie went out to dinner with like 10 people the other day. He said he's going to end up getting COVID. Robin said she forgot it was his birthday. Howard said Ronnie was upset that they forgot. He said he heard last year he didn't want to do anything so he forgot about it and didn't bother the dude. He said he's 72 years old. He said then he was bad mouthing him behind his back about not getting in touch with him. He said that he had a whole tribute planned for him today but forget that now.
Howard said the more exposures you have with COVID the more chance there is of death. He said he heard that 72 year olds do really well with COVID. He said some people think they can build up a natural immunity but it doesn't work that way.
Robin said that Bill Maher has been moving in a weird direction. She said he's talking about the 700,000 in the states have died but he's not sure what they all died from. Howard said there's 5 million people around the world who have died from it. He said he has no time for stupidity.
Howard asked Ronnie why he's bad mouthing him about his birthday. He said he didn't forget. Ronnie said he didn't go around complaining to everyone. He said he just said it to one person that he didn't mention it. He said it was just one person who interviewed him on Friday.
Howard said he's like a 7 year old. He said he told him he hates his birthday. Ronnie said you know what forget it. He said that's not the point. Howard said his own sister said to him that she wishes that no one would mind her of her birthday. He said he told her he'll never call her again on her birthday. He said that's it. He said that Ronnie hates his birthday sod he doesn't call and then he complains. He said he's a baby. Howard said happy birthday and now you know you have 3 years left in your life.
Howard said he has audio from Ronnie's birthday party and no one was wearing masks. Ronnie said they did until they were eating. Howard said Ronnie was going to blow on the birthday cake with candles on it. He said he turned to this dude next to him and had him help blow out the cake. He said the two of them were blowing on that cake like there was no tomorrow.
Howard said Ronnie went home and then he and Stephanie watched porn and fucked. Ronnie said it was PornHub. Howard asked if he likes that. Ronnie said he does. Paul asked how much better it is than PornHub. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Howard said it's not that important.
Howard said Stephanie likes it when two girls get it on and they have to watch the whole porn to get it on. He said he never has to watch that much. He said he just sees a little bit and then jerks off and gets rid of that porn. He said he doesn't want to be reminded of what a degenerate he is. He said porn is mind numbing. Ronnie said it's not that long. He said it's maybe 15-20 minutes. He said it gets her worked up.
Howard asked if it bothers him in a way that his girlfriend is so into chicks. Ronnie said no. He said she just likes that kind of porn.
Howard said he could not sit through that much porn. Paul asked if he thinks that she'd be receptive to being into chicks in real life. Howard said she is. He asked if Ronnie got any pegging. Ronnie said no. Howard said he'd be upset about that. Ronnie said they're still unpacking stuff. He said that's all packed away.
Howard asked Ronnie if he wants him to call him on his birthday. Ronnie said it's fine. He said he's fine. Howard said they're just reminding him of a day he hates. Ronnie said a lot of people text him. He said the birthday is on the 28th. Robins said she'll never forget it again. Ronnie said he never forgets her birthday. Robin said he's right.
Howard said that Ronnie said that the ''main characters'' on the show didn't call him. Ronnie said that Gary did. He said he didn't expect it from Fred at all. He said he never calls. He said that's cool. Howard said don't be so offended. Ronnie said he wasn't offended. Howard said he's happy when he's left alone on his birthday.
Paul asked if Howard goes down on Beth every time they have sex. Howard said it depends on what she wants. He said he must not be very good at it. He said that he does whatever she wants him to do. Paul said he thinks women love that. He said you don't have to be a rocket scientist to do it. Howard said he must not do it so good. He said who cares. He said he just takes his tongue and starts lapping down there like a dog. Paul said you have to do it in a way so you do it for her. Howard said he understands that but he doesn't know what she wants. He said he did have some women think he was good at it. He said he had a woman who liked the way he did it. He said she thought he was the best at it. He said he didn't know what he was doing.
Howard said that he does certain things like playing with the titties and rubbing the vagine. He said he knows how to lick it. He said he has a few positions he's good at. He said that's what he does. He said that he can get you missionary style or do it on the side and doggy. He said he can do you standing up too. He said he has his thing. He said then it's like a menu. He said that women pick and choose what they like. He said then you get that going. He said he's not sure if he's good at it.
Paul asked when he thinks he'll go back to Knicks games. Howard said he's not sure. He asked how good they are. Paul said they're 5 and 1 right now. He said they're in first place. Howard said he will go back but he's not ready yet. He said he had agida watching Ronnie and his friend blowing on each other. He said they were spraying germs all over each other and the cake. He said he wasn't comfortable with the whole thing. He said he had some friends invite them over and he didn't go because he doesn't want COVID. He said he thinks he's playing it very smart and not going back to the studio. He said if the Knicks played for just him and his wife he would go. He said he thinks that could be arranged.
Howard said Gary was filling him in on the Jets. He told Paul what Gary told him about them.
Paul kept telling Howard to go down on Beth. Howard said he will. Paul said that Billy Joel has like 100 great songs. He said it's song after song. He said he's not the Beatles but he has a billion great songs. Howard thanked him for the call. He said the fans really loved Billy. He said that song ''She's Got a Way'' is such a great love song. The guys played it for Howard and he was trying to sing along. He didn't know the lyrics that well.
Howard said he liked the line where he sings about how she reveals me. He said he loves that line. He said that's what Beth does for him. He said he might say something and she'll call him out on it and he realizes that she knows the true Howard. He said she knows. Howard said he's just a douche and she reveals that. He said she's right. He said that he's being a douche.
Howard said the fans loved Billy. He said he'll read some of that. He said he has to get to more stuff after that. He read some of the comments the fans sent him about Billy's appearance. He said that Billy keeps filling Madison Square Garden over and over again. He said they love the guy in the area.
Howard read some comments that Mariann from Brooklyn made about Billy and some other people as well.
Howard said someone was impressed that Billy used the Yiddish word ungapatchka when he was on. He said that means a bunch of junk. He said that someone thought that Billy sounded like Ronnie. Howard said he thought he sounded a lot like George Carlin when he was alive. Howard said that people did think it was Ronnie and not Billy Joel. He read some of those comments.
Howard said he doesn't hear it but he'll play a clip. Howard played a clip and laughed when he heard it. It was the part where he used the word ungapatchka.
Howard said he doesn't hear the Ronnie thing at all. He said a lot of listeners heard it. He said they don't lie. Howard said a lot of fans were captivated by his impression of Cyndi Lauper. He played a clip where Billy did his Cyndi impression. He said it is a good impression. He said he has hung out with her outside of the studio and that accent isn't as pronounced. He said she has that accent but he thinks she may put it on a little bit. He said that might b when she's on stage and maybe she feels better doing that. Robin said she used to see her at the gym a lot and they'd chat and it wasn't the same Cyndi. Howard said he saw her at the gym too. Robin said she must have changed gyms. Howard said he bets she has a nice body from dancing around all the time.
Howard said Billy brought up the time he saw him at WNBC and he didn't like hearing that. He said he's not sure if he wants to play that clip. He said he was upset that Soupy Sales had Billy on his show. He said back then everyone avoided him. He said he does have the clip from NBC. He said it's just him complaining about not getting Billy. He said it's so embarrassing. Howard played the clip of Billy talking about seeing him there at WNBC. Then he played the clip from WNBC where Howard went off on Gary telling him to get Billy in there. He said he's leaving for the day if he doesn't get him in there. He said he was playing Billy's records before anyone else. He said he was playing them back in 1979. Howard stopped the clip and said this is painful to listen to.
Robin said that wasn't his worst tirade. Howard said that one went on and on. He said he can't let anything go and that's the problem. He said it drove him nuts. He said poor Soupy was just trying to do a show. He said he was horrible to the guy. Howard said Gary is always the bearer of bad news. He said he's the one who broke the news to him that he was going to do Soupy's show.
Howard said he has more fan mail that he'll get to later. He said he has some about Sal going to the doctor and hoping that she'd fall for him.
Howard said it would be like Herman's Hermits being inducted and you just want to hear from Herman but each Hermit has to go. He said the guy who played the bass gets up there and takes his moment to let everyone know what he did in the band. He said then it goes on and on.
Gary said he has a great example of this. He said they inducted the E Street Band one year and they were told that each member was given 4 minutes. He said the first drummer in the band went 16 minutes. He said they had to stop the show because they were going so late. He said each member went like an hour and 15 minutes. Howard said there are guys you want to hear from in the band. He said they should keep it to 2 minutes.
Howard said one of his daughters went to a wedding and she had to make a speech. He said that he told her that you ''don't bore us, get to the chorus'' like Bon Jovi said. He said that you want to keep it tight. He said that's what you gotta do. Robin said you have to read the room. Howard said she's right.
Howard read about some of the inductees into the hall of fame. He ran down the list and said the Foo Fighters and Go-Gos were the two bands that got in. He said the rest were solo acts. Howard said that Paul McCartney inducted the Foo Fighters. He said that you can't do better than that. He said what an honor. He said the Go-Gos were inducted by Drew Barrymore. He said they must have had a big influence in her life. He said Todd Rundgren was a no show. He asked Jon Hein what he heard about that. Jon said he heard he's not the biggest fan of the hall of fame. Howard said he was inducted into the radio hall of fame and didn't go. He said he was being an asshole about it though. He said it should be called the Howard Stern Hall of Fame. He said he was just being an asshole. He said the reality is that he was insulted by them. He said for years they didn't put him into it. He said he got pissed. He said that he should be in maybe the second year at the latest. He said there are people who could go in before him. He said by the second year you induct him. He said he got upset with the guy who started the whole thing. He said that Jann Wenner was the guy who started the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame so he had something there.
Howard said he thinks he moved the needle for the radio industry. He said people think he was bad for the industry with what he did but just look at what's on the internet now. He said some kid in school was all freaked out by seeing hard core sex. He said this kid somehow got on PornHub or something and he saw something and it freaked the kid out. He said kids just go on and search it out. He said he's not for censorship but these people were upset about him doing a joke about sex. He said you've got to be kidding him. He said everyone wanted to get rid of him and he couldn't take it. He said he almost got fired from NBC for saying ''Douche bag.'' He said that he got suspended and the whole thing. He said that's how upset they were. He said that's not a bad word. He asked if you can imagine the drain of sitting in a guy's office for an hour arguing about that. He said they wondered why he had to use that word. He said it's a funny word. He said people laughed in droves. He said that's a great word. He said now everyone says it on mainstream TV. Robin said every word is on TV now.
Howard said just look at what's on the internet. He said that he's not saying they have to censor stuff but everyone is exposed to this stuff.
Robin said she once took Howard's daughter Emily to the playground and this kid who was a couple of years older said that he would turn on the TV and watch the HBO shows that are on after dark. She said he was watching that at 6 and 7. Howard said he's not saying up at night to watch that stuff. Howard said he puts TVs in every kid's room. He said that he loved TV growing up. He said his kids grew up just fine.
Jon said he was just reading that Todd Rundgren had a concert the night of the hall of fame induction. He said he must really have a problem with them. Howard said he can just think of one song that was a hit for him. Jon said he produced a lot of albums that were big. Howard asked what about his hits. Jon said ''Hello It's Me'' is the big one. Howard said you're hard pressed to come up with songs. He said there are a couple of songs he did that were big. He said he has a problem with Todd because he read somewhere that he said something in an interview how he could write a hit song any time he wants but he chooses not to. He said he's not sure if he has that right. He said if that's true then just do it. He said he does like some of his tunes. Jon said he has done a lot in his career.
Howard asked what Patty Smith did when she inducted him. Jon said she made her speech virtually. He said they didn't have a lot of long speeches. Howard asked what her speech was and if she played it nice. Jon said she said they looked back on their careers and she stated the case for why he should be in the hall. He said she did that even though he was playing a concert that night.
Howard said Carole King was inducted by Taylor Swift. He said that Jennifer Hudson and Taylor performed. He said that Tina Turner was in Switzerland. Robin said she's basically retired. Howard said she was inducted by Angela Basset. Howard read about some of the people who performed at the ceremony. He said that Bryan Adams didn't show up because he has COVID. He said Jon Bon Jovi tested positive too. He said that they're all double vaxxed. He said that he had dinner with Jon over the summer. He said that's the one guy he had dinner with.
Howard read about some of the other performance from the induction ceremony. He and Robin talked about some of the people who were there.
Howard mentioned Billy Preston and they spent a little bit of time talking about what he did with Mick Jagger and things like that. Howard said they had Billy on the show at some point. He said he really liked that song ''That's The Way God Planned It.'' The guys played that for him. Howard said he played that song on the show in 1991.
Howard said Brandi Carlile did an in Memorium for the Everly Brothers. He said he got a text from Brandi. Howard said he's not sure why they broke up but they did. Gary said he's not sure why but when they did one of the brothers got up and threw his guitar down and stormed off stage. Howard said they should have gone into therapy and figured things out. He said they made beautiful music together. He said there had to be a way to work it out.
Howard said Brandi texted him and told him how great the event was. He said they had a lot of fans there. He said that she said that the show exposed her to so many more people and she was very grateful for that. He said that she's glad they spread the gospel about her. Howard said he didn't get into the Everly Brothers. He said he was into the Beatles. He said that he didn't give a shit about their music. He said then the Beatles hit and he got what music was. He said then it was the Rolling Stones. Howard said he did admire their hair though. He said that he was into that. He said his mother used a ton of hair spray. He said she'd get it washed and then it was like it was in a plastic mold. He said his mom would make her hair last until Friday so she used a bathing cap in the water and in the shower. He said he figured the hair smelled but she didn't want to hear it. He said the Everly Brothers must have had the same thing going on with ether hair.
Howard said he once said to his mom ''What are you doing with that hair?'' He said she wasn't watching it and she was having it colored. He said she wasn't in a beauty pageant so he's not sure why she was doing it. He said she told him he was right and then she went grey and started washing her own hair. Robin said he may have put someone out of business by doing that. Howard said her hair was hard as a helmet. He said it really was. He said he told her that she didn't have to be hot. He said that hair was like nothing he had ever seen before. He said that his father didn't notice. He said she could have shaved her head and he wouldn't have noticed. He said women of a certain age cut their hair off and then they look like a dude when they get it cut.
Howard said he hates Halloween. He said he only saw one kids trick or treating. He said he was cute but he hates the whole thing so much. He said the kid was cute but it wasn't even time for trick or treating. He said he remembers his friends egging houses and chalking houses. He said that's what he remembers. He said it was just too much with the costumes and all of that. He said it's the worst holiday ever. He said there was Hell night the night before Halloween. He said that was in Roosevelt. He said it was all just so horrible. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said this is Sammy Hagar and ''Mas Tequila.'' Robin was talking but Howard didn't hear her. Robin wasn't responding to him. Howard asked if she was talking to him. She didn't say. Howard said Sammy has his own tequila brand. He said he even sings about it.
Howard said Robin was talking but he wasn't sure if she was talking to him. Robin said they were trying to get the lights in her house going. Howard read that he sold his tequila company. He said he sold 80 percent of the company for $100 million. He said that's something.
Howard said he was talking about this Tina Polsky woman the other day. He had her on the phone. Howard said he was wondering when it became okay to be a complete asshole in the media when you're a politician. Howard said Tina is a state senator in Florida. He said that you don't get into it to make money. He said you get into it to help the public. Tina said that she makes $29,000. Howard said if you start disrespecting these people in school board meetings and stuff like that then you end up with mediocre people in these positions. He said people will quit over 29 grand a year.
Howard said he was telling the story the other day about this kook factor and the anti-vax people. He said that the kooks have taken over because of Trump. He said they think you can say insane things and get away with it. He said that he saw that Trump was on the phone telling an official in Georgia to find him 11,000 votes to fix the election. He said he wanted him to make it up. He said it's just crazy town out there.
Howard said Tina is a Florida state senator. He said she has cancer from what he read. Tina said she has stage 1 breast cancer. Howard said she was going through Chemo or something. Tina said she's getting radiation treatment. Howard said that's a touch thing to go though. He said that when you're going through that you're susceptible to COVID. Robin said you can't stop your treatment either. Tina said she was between treatments when this happened. She said she had to take precautions.
Howard said this woman is trying to make the community better. He said she's going through radiation treatments and she has to show up for meetings. He said she wants to talk to the Surgeon General of Florida. He said she asked him to wear a mask. Tina said she hadn't come out at that point with her medical diagnosis but she did say she had a critical medical diagnosis.
Howard said that this guy came on like an ass. He said he read a quote from the guy in the paper about what he said to her about the mask. Tina said that he was basically negotiating for a while trying to get into her office. She said that he just wouldn't stop with the negotiations. She said that he wanted to go outside or meet in the hallway. She said finally she asked him to leave and then he said that he likes to deal with reasonable people in an unreasonable way. She said that's what he was doing.
Howard said he said something about how it would impair his ability to talk to Senator Polsky. Howard said this is a Surgeon General acting like this. He said he's not a dumb man but he's acting like this. He said that people want to bully a sick woman. He said he likes playing with people. He asked what's going on in America where this shit is okay. He said he wants to talk to this guy about it. Tina said good luck getting him on.
Tina said that he actually needs her vote to stay in that position and she's not sure why he'd do this. Robin asked if he has apologized to her at all. Tina said no. She said that he gave her some other ways of talking but he never apologized. She said the governor went on a little bit of a tirade about it too. She said a couple of days later he was defending the Surgeon General. She said that she had served with him in Tallahassee and he never said a word to her about the cancer. She said there are thousands of women going through this and it's even breast cancer awareness month. She said he said that she had manufactured this and she was seeking notoriety. She said that's all he does himself.
Howard said he thinks if you act crazy like this fringe out there then it reminds him of Nazi Germany coming to power. He said most people were kind of sane but then they got caught up in this insanity. Robin said you demonize your enemy and if you disagree with anything then you're the enemy.
Howard said it's just crazy to him. Tina said the way people are acting is crazy. She said that she's getting a lot of negative comments and anti-Semetic comments. Howard said he just doesn't get it. He said you used to get beaten up in the papers but now you can bully a woman who has cancer and you get applauded for it. Howard said if he did apologize then his followers would turn on him. He said it's all because of this Trump thing. He said Tina is the screwed up one for having cancer to these people.
Robin said she has a compromised immune system and she wonders if people think she's trying to tell them something when she wears a mask. Howard said it's crazy out there. He said there's nothing wrong with wearing a mask.
Howard thanked Tina for the call. He said he's sorry that happened to her. Howard asked how she's going to be. Tina said her prognosis is good. She said she's going to be fine and back to normal hopefully. Howard thanked her for her public service. He said her job is a thankless job. He said that she has to sacrifice a lot of her time. He said she cares about her community and his biggest fear is that people will be turned off to politics because of this kind of thing. Tina said it's true. She said the crazies come in. She said next time he's in Palm Beach she'd like to meet him. Howard said if he ever leaves his house he'll come say hi to her. Howard let her go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has reached out to Tina before and she actually responds. He said he lives in Florida and he's in her area. He said she's really down to earth and a great lady and a great senator. He said for her to go through this bullshit is nonsense bullshit. He said he has had breast cancer in the family and to have to be politicized like this is beyond him. He said it comes from Trumpism.
Howard said there's a guy on FOX News named Neal Cavuto. He said he used to watch the guy. He said he has dealt with cancer himself. He said he has MS and other issues. He said he got COVID and he credits the vaccination with saving his life. He said he went on the air and plead with the viewers to save themselves and get the shot. He said this is a crazy story. He played a clip of Neal talking about that on FOX News. He said that was reasonable to say but he got death threats over that. He said that they read him the death threats on the air and they did a segment where they read some of the emails and they were calling the guy a piece of shit basically. He played some of that as well. They got a lot of death threats and people wishing him out of their lives.
Howard said this is just so weird to him. Robin said she's not sure what is so bad in this country that they're having these kind of thoughts. Howard said they must want their own Fuhrer.
Howard played clips from FOX News where they were talking about how you should ignore the vaccine and not bother with it. Howard said the weird thing he read is that FOX News has one of the most stringent vaccination policies in the business. He said you have to get it if you want to work there. Robin said they're all acting. She said they keep themselves vaccinated but they're telling people not to get it. She said they're catering to the audience that wants to hear this kind of crap.
Howard said George Washington was the greatest president of all time. He said he didn't want to be king even though people wanted to make him king. He said George Washington mandated a Small Pox vaccine for the army. He asked what the difference is. Robin said the military is refusing to do it and they are supposed to follow orders. Robin said they don't want to mandate it. She said she's not sure what's going on there.
Howard said Ted Nugent thinks the vaccine is stupid. He said he was on PBS talking about that. Howard played a clip of Ted talking about how it's not a real vaccine but an experimental shot. He was saying that he can speak to everyone who got that shot by bah'ing like a sheep. He said that's what they all understand. Robin said every vaccine has been an experiment. She said he doesn't seem to get that.
The caller said that everyone is scared. He said he gets some of the hesitation. He said that people are scared and he has gotten the J and J vaccine and he got the Pfizer the other day. He said he feels fine. Howard said the whole thing is so silly. He said hundreds of millions of us have gotten it and it works.
Howard played a clip of Ted Nugent talking about how he got COVID and he did just fine after taking Ivermectin and a bunch of other stuff the government tells you not to do. He said the government isn't always right.
Howard answered a knock at the door and had fake Judge Jeanine Pirro come in. She was yelling at Howard about what he was saying about the vaccine. She went off on him about that for a few minutes. Fake Jeanine was going on and on about COVID and the Libs and all of the crazy stuff she talks about on her show.
Howard said she needs a Xanax. He asked where she got her law degree. Jeanine said she's so sick of his jokes. She said she misses the days when they were able to have a big barbecue and shoot their guns in the air. Howard let her go after that.
Howard said Sal once called in to sell Jewish teeth from World War II and the host had no issues with it. Howard played some of that call where Sal tried to sell the teeth.
Howard said one time they tired to sell a plaster mould of Johnny Carson's taint. He played some of that call.
Howard said that they tried to sell some human organs on Tradio. He said that's what this new one is. Robin said she thinks that they will let them do it. Howard said she's right. Howard played the call where the Swap Shop show took their call and the guys tried to sell some human organs. Richard was the one making his call to the show and he said he was in a tub filled with ice because someone stole his kidney. He said he's looking to buy a kidney out there if someone has one for sale. The host told him that they can do whatever they want to on this show so they can buy and sell body parts. He said they sold a rocket launcher on the show once. Sal called into the show and said he has a kidney to sell. Sal and Richard did their Fred and Ethel voices and went back and forth cutting out the kidney for that other caller. Then their dog stole the kidney and ran off with it. Richard called back and said he got his organs mixed up and said he needs a liver, not a kidney. He said he's already crapping blood over there. The host hung up on him. He took one more call and Sal called back complaining that he cut the wrong organ out. He said that now the host owes him a kidney. Sal and Richard were going back and forth and the host realized that he needs someone to screen his calls.
Howard said they need a call screener. He said he likes that the first time he takes that call he doesn't even flinch about the kidney thing. He said he was ready to buy and sell a kidney.
Howard said he has a scene from Wayne's World where this guy isn't listening. He mentioned that during the playing of the call. In that bit they had Harry Shearer playing the part of a radio guy who wasn't really listening to what the guys were saying. He just kept saying ''Uh huh'' over and over.
Howard said it's great because Harry seems to know radio and he's just vamping moving his carts around. He said that sounds like him when he's talking to Fred.
Howard said he has to take a break here and get to more show. He said he will get to the Long Island Medium at some point. He said maybe today. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said that's Taylor Swift who performed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Howard said that he likes Jack Black and Tenacious D. He said he thinks they're supposed to be funny but they're really talented. He said it's Jack and one other guy and they did a cover of The Beatles ''You Never Give Me Your Money'' and the video is funny as shit. He said Jack is so frantic and he's acting out the song. He said it's really good. He said he can't decide if they want to be funny or serious musicians. Robin said they may not be able to make up their minds. Howard played some of the song and said this is really good. He said you have to see the video. He said it's really good. He said some guys were saying they blow in the comments. He said lets hear that guy play. He said people get jealous. He said Jack is one talented mother fucker. He said he loves that movie ''Shallow Hal'' with Jack and Gwyneth Paltrow. He said it's the greatest. Ward said it was such a great movie. He said he thought this song was really good too.
Howard said this isn't easy. He let the song play a bit. He laughed about the way Jack was doing the song. He said that's impressive to him. He said he has a friend who said that Bonnie Raitt isn't that great a guitar player. He said it's great to him though. Robin said that someone was just in there talking about picking up tips from Bonnie. She said it was one of the twins who was in with Brandi Carlile.
Howard asked if the Polio vaccine is older than Ronnie. Robin said Ronnie is older. Howard said that vaccine came out in 1955. He said the world was covered in Polio and people were dying from it. He said some guy came up with the vaccine and stopped it.
Howard asked if Ronnie or Monopoly is older. Robin said the game is older. Howard said she's right. The game was created in 1903.
Howard asked if Ronnie or the remote control is older. Robin said Ronnie is older. Howard said she's right again. Howard said you used to have to get up and change the channel when he was a kid. He said his parents got a remote control TV but they kept it in their bedroom. Howard said he couldn't wait for them to leave the house so he could get in there to watch it. He said then he learned about masturbation and he ended up peeing on himself the first time he tried to finish. He said he got the pee on his stomach and wiped it off with tissues. He said if he had made a mess his mother would have humiliated him over it. He said that she would have cried and made a huge deal out of it. He did his impression of his parents talking about messing the bed and ruining it.
Howard said thank god he didn't pee all over their bed. He said he doesn't know what he would have done. He said he had heard about masturbation and he wanted to take it for a spin. He said he was spread out and he knew something was supposed to come out. He said that he felt something coming out but he didn't know it was urine. He said it was like a spout coming out. He said it was all over his belly. He said it miraculously landed on his belly. He said it was like old faithful. He said he lucked out that it landed where it did. Howard said he imagines his mother telling that story to Beth. He did his impression of his mother and father telling the story to Beth. He had her going into details about the stench and how the bed was all wet. Robin said they would have told the whole story about how he was naked. Howard said his father would have told the part about how he didn't know how to masturbate. He said he saw Ginger from Gilligan's Island and he went off like Old Faithful.
Howard got back to the game and asked what's older, Ronnie or seltzer. Robins said Seltzer has to be older. Howard said it is. He said it was invented in 1767.
Howard asked what's older, Ronnie or Israel. Robin said she's going to say Israel is older. Howard said she's gotten every on right. He said happy birthday to Ronnie.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wanted to talk about Tenacious D because they're amazing. She said he has to hear their albums. Howard said he did like that video he saw. He said that they're really good. The caller said that movie High Fidelity is good too. Howard said it was good to talk to her. He said he never did get into that. He said it wasn't for him. The caller said Jack Black is in the movie and he's so good. Howard said he's funny but he's really a good singer. He said they could be legit if they want to. He said he gets why they do what they do though.
Howard played a song parody for Ronnie's birthday. It had clips of Ronnie saying wacky stuff in it.
Howard said he was looking at the ratings numbers and they show that the number 1 show has 640,000 listeners. He said 20 years ago it was 1.4 million for WINS radio. He said what's going on is the audience is now half of what it was 20 years ago. He said the top 3 shows were all veterans of Z-100. He said it was Scott Shannen, Cubby Bryant and Elvis Duran. He said they've been in the business for a really long time. He said this is indicative of where regular radio is going. He said he's going to take responsibility for all of that. He said they left and look at what happened. He said with math he's drawing a conclusion.
Howard said he told a kid he'd be even better at math if he had 40 more fingers.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bubba the Love Sponge. Bubba told him that radio is really tough these days. He said that they can't get sponsors for their cock bits. Howard said it's good to hear his voice. He said that he sent him a ring not too long ago. He said he has to wear it on his thumb because it's so big. He said Bubba took a job at Door Dash to make some money over the summer. Bubba said he has to talk to Jennifer Witz to get him back up there. He said that he can get Jennifer a Bubba army ring if she gets him back up there. Howard said he has no power to get him up there.
Howard said Bubba has tested positive for COVID twice since they last spoke. Bubba said that he was shooting liquid ass up his nose and he got his smell back after 10 days. Howard said his mother got him to get the vaccine because she begged him to get it. Bubba told Howard what they were going to be doing today with Lasker on the show. Howard said he really has to go. He let them go after Lasker ate a real human cock thinking it was a hot dog.
Howard said Bubba had COVID twice. He said that's crazy stuff. He said that's his report on radio. Robin said there are so many more ways to get music these days. She said there was a time when you only had your local radio station or a few of them. Howard said that's why he wanted to go into radio. He said it made him human. He said it made him someone. He said now it's no big deal. He said he doesn't know anyone who isn't in radio now. He said it's nothing. He said everything has changed. He said radio used to be important but not anymore. He said everything has changed.
Howard said he lived next door to a kid when he was maybe 14 or 15. He said this kid had him come over to look in his basement window. He said this kid lived next door. He said his aunt and uncle were living in the basement and this kid was spying on them. He said they were sitting there and he looked in the window to see what was going on. He said they snuck up and peeked in there. He said the uncle was there in a lawn chair and she's in a lawn chair. He said the guy was looking at Playboy and she had her pants off and was playing with her vagine. He said it was so insulting to this woman. He said she was a heavy set gal and there was a lot of vagine and ass there. Robin said there was no shaving the puss back then. Howard said there was a lot of hair. He said this guy was fully dressed and he was rubbing her vagine. He said it was unbelievable. He said they crawled away after seeing a little bit of that. He said he never saw that kid again after that. He said he never saw them out and about.
Robin wondered if they ever caught that kid. Howard said he's not sure. He said he doesn't know what happened to him. He said he might be in jail for all he knows. He said he couldn't believe what was going on. He said they didn't have any of this porn available to them when he was a kid.
Howard said that image is stuck in his head because he remembers what that guy was wearing in the basement. Robin said that they might still be there for all he knows.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he needs some advice. He said January 6th everyone knows what happened. He said he had a friend for 15 years who isn't a friend anymore because of that. He said this guy told him that there were black people rioting too so he called him a racist. He said he hasn't talked to the guy since then. He said this guy was in his life and now he's out of it. Howard said a lot of people are losing friends because they don't want to deal with it. The caller asked what he should do. Howard said he did the right thing and go find new friends. He said he doesn't need that guy in his life.
Howard said he's had to get rid of friends. He said it's not that hard. He said that you have to get rid of some people sometimes.
Howard said TLC aired a show with the Long Island Medium for a 9/11 special. He said that's sacrilege. He said that cable channels start out with a great mission but then they end up doing stuff like this. He said that all he wants on TV is super hero shows. He said TLC is The Learning Channel and they have no money coming in so they put shit like this on. Robin said A&E used to be Arts and Entertainment. Howard said Bravo used to be like that too. He said now Andy Cohen is running all of his stuff there. Howard talked about what they put on other cable channels like the Pawn Shop show and things like that. Howard said TLC had to change their name in shame. He said they got Hot and Heavy on there now. He said they have a show where guys like to date fat girls. He said that's what they run on ''The Learning Channel.''
Howard said he actually loves TLC because they have fat people on the channel. Robin said they're using fat people for entertainment. Howard said she's ruining his fun.
Memet said he's earned a lot from watching these shows. He said you learn how really fat people clean themselves. Robin said that they're not talking about how they have died. Howard said she's bumming everyone out. He said they have kids on the shows and then they help them eat even more. He said they have 2 year olds cooking and using talcum powder on them. He said he's not sure where they get all the money for food. Memet said he wonders the same thing. He said that shit is expensive. Robin said they should be ashamed of themselves. Howard said he's not comfortable calling people stupid. He said he calls them mental.
Memet said there's a show called My Big Fat Fabulous Life and it's not fabulous at all. He said it's always how bad her life is. Howard said they had a show about a transgender that he tried but he was kind of bored by it. He said this woman chopped her tits off and ran to a tailor to get a suit. He said that wasn't so exciting. He said it's pretty common place these days.
Howard said anyway his beef is with this Long Island Medium. He said he likes to see these people exposed because there is no one with any psychic powers. He said they can't prove that they have any powers at all. He said Houdini exposed them all. He said that he proved that there's no powers.
Howard said he's going to play some clips of this Long Island Medium. Memet said he saw this special and even he thought they went too far with it. He said you get why people want to believe that it's true but it's really fucked up to him. Howard said Sal likes it and thinks it's true. He said that Long Island Medium has two ways of communicating with the people. He said that she has a mixture of being able to hear them or barely being able to communicate. Howard played a clip of the Long Island Medium telling a woman about how she was calm, cool and collected when the plane crashed. Howard asked why it's so vague. He said he's not sure why they can't be very clear. He said it's like when your Wi-Fi goes in and out. He said this information is kind of worthless. He said it's just that they're okay. Memet said they never say it was a horrible experience. He said they never give you the numbers to their safe or something.
Howard said in this clip the Long Island Medium tells this woman that her brother died doing what he wanted to do. Howard played the clip and the Long Island Medium told this woman that her brother wouldn't have wanted to die any other way. Howard said that's some heavy stuff. Robin said this is low hanging fruit for this woman. Howard said he's sure that guy would have wanted to live long and died peacefully when he was old. He said he doesn't even know the dude and he can tell you that.
Howard said the Long Island Medium was talking to a woman and she broke down crying herself. Howard played that clip and she was talking about how when her dad died he was protecting others. She said that he was doing all that he could do to make people feel safe. Howard said what a racket this is. He asked why ghosts say generic shit that anyone would say. He said this is why Houdini gave his wife a word that he'd have with her so if psychics tried to get him they had to know that word. He said it never worked.
Memet said they never should have aired this on 9/11. He said that you almost can't get mad at Teresa Caputo. He said TLC aired it on that day. Howard said that he doesn't want all of the other shows going away.
Howard asked Sal if he really thinks this is real. Sal said he thinks she provides a comforting service and that's a good thing. Robin asked if he believes that she's in touch with people. Sal said he does. He said she has told him some pretty amazing stuff. He said that he's still good friends with her ex-husband. Howard asked if they still stay in touch. Sal said they're still good friends.
Howard said this is all bullshit. He said that it's not true and it's the worst thing you can do in life. Sal said it's fine if he wants to believe that.
Howard asked what Sal said about William Shatner going up in space. He said it was something about being closer to heaven. Sal said that's not what he said He said Shatner felt closer to heaven by entering that realm of being off earth. Howard said he also said that he was closer to the spirits. Sal said spirits float so they do go up. Howard said he did say that he was closer to heaven. He said they told him to just stop it. Sal said he feels like he was in a different realm so that's why he was saying what he said while he was up there. Robin said he didn't leave here. Sal said something happened to him. He said they can agree on that.
Howard said this is Teresa saying she's having trouble breathing because she felt like she was in the building before it fell down. Howard played a clip of the Long Island Medium talking about choking and having this woman's husband holding her in there. Howard said this is crazy stuff. Memet said the ghost was making her feel like what he was feeling. Robin said she was saying she was higher up in there and she's not sure why she was saying she was there. Howard said it could be something to take people's money and tell these families about their dead relatives.
Howard went into his medium character and told families about their famine starved relatives saying they just want a potato. Howard said he'll have to be the Florida Medium since Long Island Medium is taken. He was making up his Florida Medium stories to tell families about how they died. He said they didn't suffer while they were starving. He said that's the way they wanted to go. He said he thinks he could be good at that. He said he could go contact Batman's parents Thomas Wayne and his wife. He said he can't remember her name. Howard the Florida Medium made up some stories for Bruce Wayne about his parents. He said they tell him to keep going because he's the only one who can beat the Joker. He said they're telling him that they're kind of disturbed by his partner Robin and the tights they wear. He said he's being told something about a motorcycle with a sidecar on it. He said they're also wondering about what the relationship is between him and the older man who calls him ''Master Wayne.'' He said they do like the bat symbol in the sky. He said he's seeing that signal and they're smiling at it.
Howard said his parents are glad the Joker shot them. He said he did shoot both of them. He said he's getting that right now. He said he can see it. Robin said she would watch this special.
Howard thanked Memet for that. He said it was a good call to bring that to his attention. He said they should get out of there because it's 10:25. He said if they stay longer it might be tomorrow. He said that they're having Kristen Stewart on the show tomorrow. He said she's playing Lady Di in this movie. He said he saw that and The Crown. He said there's a lot of interest in her right now. He said they paint Prince Charles as a real douche bag. He said it's really bad. He said he's not sure if he's that bad but it's harsh. He said in this movie that Kristen is in Princess Diana is going crazy from this guy. He said they'll talk to her about it tomorrow. He said the movie is called Spencer. He said her name was Lady Diana Spencer.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he's doing. Howard said it's all good. The caller was on speaker phone and said that he was on My 600 Pound Life. Howard said this is Dominic. He said he remembers that name. He asked how he's doing. Dominic said he's down to about 600 pounds and he was up at 677 or so. Howard said he got himself down to 600. He asked what's the matter and why he's not losing more. Dominic said they wanted him to. Howard said a lot of the people on the show don't like Dr. Now. Dominic said he was homeless so that was part of the problem.
Howard asked how much food is the most he ever ate at once. Dominic said maybe a pizza and a half. Howard said he bets he had like 10 Cokes with that. He asked if he gets toppings on it too. Dominic said if he can afford it he will. Howard said this is what's killing people. He said it's pizza that gets these guys. He said maybe that's the problem. Howard said go on a diet and try to lose more weight. He said he can do it. Dominic thanked him for that. Howard said it's sad stuff. He let Dominic go. Robin said that one of the people Howard watches is listening to them.
Howard said he has fake Dr. Now on the line to yell at Dominic. He let that guy on and said this is too good. He said get Dominic back on. He said the people get really upset with Dr. Now. Dr. Now said that you have to do the work. Robin said they want him to do the work. Howard said that's right.
Howard had Dominic back on the line so he put him on with fake Dr. Now. Dr. Now asked why he doesn't do the work and lose more weight. He said it's not a secret why he's so heavy.
Howard said he should be more unintelligible. Fake Dr. Now did more of an unintelligible voice. He was slurring his words more for Howard. Howard said maybe Dominic just didn't understand what he was talking about. Dr. Now said you can be homeless but not fat and homeless. He said you can't be both so you have to make choices.
Howard said he has to say something to inspire Dominic. Dr. Now told him to put duct tape over his mouth and then he won't be able to eat anymore. Howard asked if Dominic wants the surgery. Dominic said he would. Howard said just cut out a couple of meals and you can cut down that weight. Dr. now said just have one pizza instead of four.
Howard asked Dominic about shitting and how tough that is. Dominic said it's always hard to find a place when you're homeless. Howard asked if he ever just shits in his pants. Dominic said no. Howard said he must have smelled bad when he was homeless. Dominic said it was tough to find a place to shower. Fake Dr. Now suggested a car wash.
Howard asked if Dominic is into girls. Dominic said he is. Howard asked if he has ever gotten laid. Dominic said he has. He said it was with a service. Howard said he went to a hooker. Dominic said he did. Howard asked if they hopped on the penis. Dominic said she did but they had to angle it right. Robin said it sounds like a geometry project. Robin said Dr. Now said it's more like Algebra.
Howard said a lot of the dudes on that show have wives so maybe he'll be able to find someone. He asked if Dr. Now has anything to say to Dominic to encourage him. Dr. Now said just stop eating so much.
Howard asked how many times Dominic has been to a hooker. Dominic said just a few times. Howard asked if any of them leave. Dominic said they stay. Howard asked if they charge him more. Dominic said it's a set amount. He said it was like $200. Howard asked how he finds these girls. Dominic said it was on vacation in Vegas. He said it was over the phone.
Howard asked if they blow him or just sit on his peen. Dominic said they just sat on the peen. Howard said he understands. He said it's hard to clean himself down there. Fake Dr. Now said he's going to throw up. He said he has dry heaves. Howard said now he's losing some weight himself.
Howard asked how old Dominic is. He said he just turned 39. Howard said maybe they can find him a woman. He said when he got heavy he wanted to look sexy in his clothes so he got himself some nice clothes. He said he wanted to look like a rock star. He said that helped him lose the weight. He said he was a mess. He said Robin made fun of him back then too. He said she made fun of his thighs rubbing together. Robin said Howard made fun of her too. She said she came in one day and during a break she wasn't able to button her pants from gaining weight and as soon as they were back on the air Howard told the whole audience that she had gained weight. Howard said she got skinny after that so it worked.
Howard said he used to watch guys like David Lee Roth and wanted to look like him. He said now they look about the same.
Howard wished Dominic luck and told him to keep doing it. Fake Dr. Now told him to put down the burger. Howard asked what Dominic ate today. Dominic said he hasn't eaten anything yet. He said he's on the west coast so it's early yet. Howard said he's not buying it.
Howard said he's sure Dominic had a tough time on Halloween. He asked if he had candy. Dominic said he should have walked to get some candy. Howard let him go after that. He said he and Beth were walking and talking about candy the other day. He said they were just talking about it instead of eating it. He said Beth likes completely different candy than he likes. He said she eats stuff that doesn't interest him at all. He said she like sugary stuff like Sour Patch Kids and pumpkins and candy corn. He said she likes Dots too. He said he hated that stuff. He said half the time you have paper in your mouth. He said she likes that kind of candy. Howard said he likes Milk Duds and Sugary Daddys. He said anything nuts and chocolate. He said peanut M&M's too. He said inject them into him right before he goes. He said he's going to have an orgy right before he goes if he knows he's going.
Howard said the problem is you don't know how long you're going to live. He said his mother is always saying that she has lived long enough and she's done. He said why not just drink a ton of wine or something. He said why not just load up on candy and stuff. He said she won't do that. He said he's not sure why she's living a healthy lifestyle if she wants to go. Howard said he'd have a chocolate Easter rabbit and eat an entire pizza just like Dominic. He said he'd have a shake with it. Robin said he's like one of those people who want to commit suicide and then they take all of the pills and throw up. She said that's what will happen to him. Howard said he'll work into it. Howard said his parents seem to want to live a long, miserable life. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started the show talking about how he just finished writing Bubba the Love Sponge. He said he was trying to honor him yesterday with the impersonator but he didn't hear from him. He said he usually hears from him. He said he didn't hear anything. Robin said she hopes everything is alright. Howard said he does too.
Howard had the Bubba impersonator back on. He asked how he's doing. Fake Bubba said they all loved it yesterday. Howard asked who they have on the show today. Fake Bubba said they have a bunch of things like shock the balls coming up today. He demonstrated what they're going to be doing by shocking some balls.
Howard said he loves when they do the shock the balls. He thanks him for that. Fake Bubba asked for Jennifer Witz's phone number. Howard said he really has to go and shut the door on fake Bubba.
Howard said everyone was sending in love for that guy Dominic who was on My 600 Pound Life. He said that people liked fake Dr. Now too. He played a clip of Dominic talking to fake Dr. Now on yesterday's show. They were talking to Dominic about getting laid with a prostitute.
Howard said he was so good yesterday. He got fake Dr. Now back on to do his thing again. They spent a little time talking about dealing with people that heavy. Howard read some feedback about fake Dr. Now and about Dominic. He had some positive words about Dominic and people wishing him well. They had some feedback about the Dr. Now impersonator too.
Howard said maybe he can talk to Benjy and Jason who still has to lose some weight. Robin said she thought Benjy lost some weight. Howard said Gary was telling him that he can't even have a conversation with Benjy about his weight loss. He said he claimed that he was at 272 pounds and he was down to like 200. He said then it turned into how his heaviest was 272 but not before this weight loss. He said Benjy claims he's going to walk the marathon that's coming up. He said he's not sure if he's trying to be funny or what but Benjy was telling Gary something that he has to look up. Howard let Dr. Now go and found that Benjy walked 14 miles in 7 hours. He said he doesn't think it's that possible to walk that slow. He said maybe if you had just one leg. He said he's seen guys who have one leg and they walk quick.
Howard said he and Fred had a whole plan on what to do if someone picked on Robin down there. He said they were going to use their briefcases to whack the people. He said he always has love for Curtis. He said they've been having some debates and they have some tape. He said there's also Eric Adams who was a former police officer. He said he has some love for that guy too.
Howard said he heard that Curtis has gone weird for the vaccine and Trump stuff. Robin said she heard that he's going to reverse the vaccine mandates and stuff. Howard said he can't vote for him then. He said that mandates are good and necessary. He said one of the reasons that they're doing pretty well with COVID is because of mandates. Howard said he knew a guy who wouldn't get vaccinated and he got vaccinated even though he didn't want to. He said he had to do it to keep his job.
Howard said he knows Curtis can talk and he did a radio show there in New York. Robin said Eric Adams was always talking to the camera and Curtis would walk around and off camera when it was his turn to talk.
Howard said he has some audio of Curtis and Eric going at each other. He played some clips of the two of them debating and talking about how they faked things. They were going back and forth with stories about faking things.
Howard said he was handed a note about Curtis being anti-mandate but he's vaccinated but he wants people to get it but only by choice.
Howard said he's not set up to vote. He said he has been living on Long Island. He said he didn't get an absentee ballot and missed the whole thing. He said that his assistant no longer works with him so he fucked up. He said it's all his fault. Robin said she voted. Howard said she got him. He said she's a better person. He said he never misses a vote.
Howard said he could go vote in person but he's too famous. Robin said she was wearing a mask and still got recognized. She said she walks up and they know who she is immediately. Howard said she'd have to wear a Freddy Krueger mask to not be recognized.
Howard said he's all out of sorts. He said he had a horrible night last night. He said he woke up at 2 in the morning screaming at the top of his lungs. He said he had a muscle cramp in his calf muscle that was so painful. He said it was excruciating. He said he hasn't had that in 2 years. He said he started working out again with his man Pat over Zoom. He said he felt like it was lame but he got back to it.
Howard said he bought this contraption that you can wheel around and Pat can see him on his iPad. He said he hurt his calf from doing calf raises. He said that he's on a new medication too. He said he has high cholesterol and he has to be on this Statin. He said he has to be careful what he eats. He said he had to eat Bronzino while Beth ate a pizza. He said he can't eat that. He said he has no fun now. He said something's wrong with all of that. He said Beth looks like a model and still eats pizza. He said he thinks she should be on medication for cholesterol.
Howard said Dr. Agus put him on this medication and he asked what he side effects were. He said Dr. Agus told him you can get muscle cramps. He said now he doesn't know if it's from the medication or the work out.
Robin said muscle cramps don't come from exercise. She said they come from chemical imbalances. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he's going to keep taking the medication. Robin told him to ask Dr. Agus about what he can do about it. Howard said he's just going to deal with it. He said he's sick of taking stuff. He said his body hates him and it's revolting on him. He said that Robin has no idea what's going on. He said he doesn't even tell her about it. Robin said she had cancer. Howard said she laughed in the face of cancer.
Robin said she was getting cramps from her medication and she had to start taking magnesium. She said now she doesn't get cramps.
Howard asked if Robin gets a 21 gun salute when she dies. Robin said she might be able to get that but she's never checked.
Howard said Ronnie was in the reserves or something. He said they should do an article about him taking dildos in his ass.
Howard said this article is weird. He said it's beautiful but then they list her accomplishments. He said they say that she revealed that she was molested at a young age in her 1995 book. He said it's a weird thing to throw out there.
Howard said they also mentioned that she shit herself while jogging. He was joking about that.
Howard said Memet served in the military and he thinks that she'd get a military funeral but not a 21 gun salute. Robin said she was thinking that might not be the case.
Howard said congratulations on that. Robin said she was thinking about that and wondering why people were talking about her in the military.
Howard asked who the caller is voting for. She said she doesn't live in the city. She said she lives in Nassau County in Manhasset. She said she loves Howard so much. Howard said he bought a house in Manhasset Hills but not in Manhasset. He said he was told no Jews were allowed in Manhasset.
Howard said he went to look at houses and he remembers looking at one where this woman told him about how she wouldn't go up and down the steps because it was so big. He said it wasn't a huge house. He said it was a one level house but it was a couple of steps here and there. He said that it wasn't a split level though. The caller said that it's called a split. Howard said it was more than that though. He said this woman got a hold of him and told him he didn't want to be going up and down the steps so much.
The caller said this is so surreal that she's talking to him. Howard said he has to go. He let her go but said she's a good woman but she's a little too excited.
Howard said he had to sell this house and he made money on it. He said he never did that well again on a house.
Howard asked if he's really doing so poorly that he had to do DoorDash. Bubba said he did during the summer. He said he was thinking of doing it as a bit for the show. Howard said he was talking to Drew Barrymore about how she showed up at a guy's house in her pajamas when she found him on a dating app. He said imagine Bubba shows up to deliver your food.
Robin said the radio business is starting to suck so they could have that with all the radio guys. Bubba said they're going to want Howard to show up for that. He said no one wants ManCow to show up.
Howard asked Bubba if people knew that he was the guy delivering for DoorDash. Bubba said he had a mask on and he was showing up in an old Crown Vic cop car.
Howard had fake Bubba get on with real Bubba. He asked what Bubba thought of that. Bubba said that was okay. He said he's willing to be on any channel over there. Fake Bubba was doing a bit about his rattler and Bubba said he missed a show yesterday because he took too many pills on Sunday night. He said he took his standard sleep deal and then he wasn't asleep so he took more. He said doing a show so early in the morning is tough and he got in his head and took more pills. He said the next thing he knew it was 5 o'clock.
Howard said he told Bubba he has to get off of that Ambien stuff. He said it's the devil's work. He said that he tells people that if you can't sleep then just don't take anything and just lay there. He said if you're laying there you get rest. He said that's the attitude you have to have. Bubba said that's not his attitude. He said he has to sleep so he can start this circus act over again. He said he's like a circus clown living down by the river. Howard said poor Bubba. Bubba said he could be on Hits 1 over there. He said he used to do that kind of thing.
Fake Bubba did another quick bit and Bubba said he loves this guy. He said maybe he can fill in for him next time he misses a show. Fake Bubba did more of his impersonation for him.
Bubba said that Howard only likes two radio guys, him and Kidd Chris, so he should put them on. He said throw your boys a bone. Howard said he always tells him that he can't convince people to hire him. He said Bubba doesn't believe him. He said he always said to him don't start in with management over there. He said that he's a free spirit though. Bubba said who would have thought they'd have someone more free spirited than Howard Stern. He said he's banned forever.
Bubba told Howard that he's been losing some weight and shaping up. He said he's at 301 as of this morning. He said that if he went and gave it to Robin good does he think that he'd get hired back maybe. Howard said yeah.
Fake Bubba did more of his bit and Bubba said people love this stuff so please hire him back. Howard said he'd love that. Bubba said he really does know that he's been pulling for him. He said he thinks he just has himself to blame for all of this.
Howard said he has Jennifer Witz on the phone. He asked him not to talk about Drugs with her. Howard took the call from fake Jennifer who said he's hired... to deliver her coffee. Bubba said that Jim Meyers wouldn't even hire him and he was an Iowa boy.
Fake Bubba did a shit into the fan deal for Jennifer and she was cracking up at that. Bubba said this is what they're going to get the best feedback on. He said they have to hire him. Jennifer told him to go get her some Popeye's chicken, bitch. Bubba said they're all laughing and having fun. He said this is good radio. Jennifer said that Bubba is going places... Burger King and McDonald's. Howard was cracking up. Jennifer said they're all laughing... at you. Bubba said that he's laughing too. Howard let Jennifer go. Bubba asked if he should send her a ring next year.
Howard said Bubba is going to pull through this. Bubba said he comes from the best white trash and he's still making a go at it. He said they're still paying the bills and he's making payroll. He said he still owes the IRS some cash but they're still doing it. Howard said he had that race track. Bubba said that if he could sell it then he'd be doing okay. He said that not too many people are looking for a dirt track right now.
Howard said he heard a rumor that he's raising goats too. Bubba said that they do own two goats. He said they're emotional support goats. He said that way he doesn't have to mow the back lawn.
Fake Bubba said something that upset Bubba because he's live on regular radio so he can't curse.
Bubba said that he and Howard got fired over Nipplegate. He said that it was just the two of them. Bubba said he's been on trial 4 times. Howard said he read he tested positive for COVID twice. He asked what happened with that. He asked if there's any long term effect. Bubba said not really. He said he got his shot because his mom asked him to. He said he thinks he's fully vaccinated. He said it's for real and it took him down. He said he has Dr. Diaco to help him out.
Howard asked fake Bubba if he has a Dr. Diaco to help him out. Fake Bubba said he has someone to help him get rid of the COVID.
Bubba said in all seriousness he is a great friend and he thanks him for that. Howard said same back at him. He said he's a sweet, thoughtful man. He said he loves Bubba and stop with the sleeping pills. Howard asked Dr. Diaco if he should stop. Dr. Diaco said he does screw up occasionally. Bubba said it was nice talking to Robin too. Robin said same here.
Howard let Bubba go and then Fake Bubba said he has to go too. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said at one point they had Bubba talking to the Bubba impersonator and he wasn't able to tell who was who. Robin said she's not sure what the real deal is there. She said she thought Howard was kidding about the DoorDash thing. Howard said there are just a few people doing well in radio. He said that Bubba might be living in a van for real. He said he think she lost his house. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said this song is about urging people to stay alive. He said one of the dudes in the band took his own life and they wrote the song about that. He said that's what the song is about.
Howard said he can't take Dancing with the Stars. He said that he was up watching it last night. He said he was watching SEAL Team 6 last night and Beth got into bed. He said when she gets into bed she doesn't want to watch that. He said they changed over to Dancing with the Stars. He said he and Beth both go nuts over that Amanda Kloots. He said that his sense of fairness kicks in. He said she's a professional dancer. He said she was a Rockette. He said she's on Dancing with the Stars. He said to humble her last night the judges were tough on her. He said that they had this basketball player on and he got up and danced pretty well for a tall dude. He said he gives him credit for that. He said he looks like shit next to Amanda though. He said it would be like her playing basketball next to him.
Howard said he's an Olivia Jade fan and he thinks she can dance. He said no one in America wants her to win because of the scandal she was involved with. He said he didn't watch to the end but he heard they had some kind of screw up with Tyra Banks' microphone. He said Tom Bergeron was a good host. He said that Tyra is okay but he gave it some gravitas. He said it's like replacing Chris Harrison on The Bachelor. He said it doesn't work on that show either. He said he doesn't like what they do on that show. He said that they have two hosts and they hide in the bushes when the Bachelors are showing up. He said he's not sure why they're hiding in the bushes. He said they're the hosts. He said it's so lame.
Howard said these two women said that they heard that this guy made a list of things you have to do to win the show. He said they went up to the guy and asked if it was okay to look around his room and then searched his room. Howard said imagine if Chris Harrison had done that and went through women's stuff. He said that they were looking for secret shit. He said imagine if they had done that to the women on the show. He said he wanted to make a citizen's arrest. Robin said they did tell him they were going to search it. Howard said he still thinks it's criminal. He said he didn't like that. He said it feels like no one is in charge on that show. He said it felt like someone was in charge when Chris Harrison was on the show.
Howard said he goes crazy from these shows. He said the one that really gets him is the professional dancer going up against people on a dance show. Howard said it's like Tom Brady playing for a high school team. He said give him a break.
Howard said there are going to be mandates and you have to do it or you get fired. He said he hates to say that but that's it. The caller said that's what he told his co-worker. He said you have to do it. He said it's part of the job. Howard said that's like the military where they give you shots and you don't know what they are. He said it's enough nonsense. He said we need a mandate and we've done it before. He said when he went to school he had to be vaccinated. He said that you have to do it. He asked who you're going to follow, doctors or Ted Nugent.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked hate happened to Bubba the Love Sponge. He asked if he was successful. He asked what the fuck is wrong with that guy. Howard said he doesn't get into his finances but he thinks he had some lawsuits, a divorce and things like that. King asked what happened to him though. He asked if it was drugs or what. Howard said he's not a drug guy. He said he's not sure what happened exactly. He said he doesn't get into it with him. Howard said he's not sure why he bought that race track.
King asked why he would drive an Uber. He said he must care about how he looks. Howard said he has family and guys who work for him. He said there's no shame in making money. He said he needs money. King said there's no shame in driving if he was a regular person but he's a big radio guy. Howard said he's a radio guy but he can't do anything other than radio. He said he has no other skill. King said Howard has skills in just saying that. He said he has more skills than anybody.
Howard said he heard that King just got some porcelain veneers. King said he had an Asian dentist and he was great. He said they don't talk. He said they just do their job and tell you it's beautiful.
King said his daughter wrote a ballad that will make him cry. He said it's called Breathe and they have it over there. Howard asked the guys if they can play it for him. King said this kid is amazing. Robin asked if he's sure she's his. Howard said this is the song. He said he'll play a little bit of it. Howard had the song playing and King said it makes him want to cry. Howard said he tells him to play it and he can't stop talking during it. He said he can't even stand that his daughter is getting attention.
Howard said King is no longer his daughter's manager. King said she told him that she loves him but she said he's not professional. Howard said he does repulse people. He said his daughter doesn't need that.
Howard played more of the song ''Breathe'' and said he does like this. He said it's nice. He played more of the song and King was crying. He said that shit is crazy. He said it makes him cry. He said it makes him feel like he's going to die. He said he can't even describe it. He said it's like someone on their death bed. He said it's crazy. Howard said he likes the song. He said he'd like to hear Robin harmonizing with her to make it even better. He said right here at this part. Fred played some drops of Robin ''singing'' along with it. Howard said now he's crying.
Howard said the voices blend like Simon and Garfunkel. He said it's like the female Lennon and McCartney. King started singing too. Howard said King is the kind of guy who will be like Britney Spears dad with Britney. He said he'll figure out a way to get her money.
King said she thinks he's funny. Howard said he heard that she already promised him a car. King said she did.
Howard took a call from a guy who said fuck King of All Blacks for shitting on someone for wanting to put bread on the table for his family. He said he got his money handed to him. King was talking over him. The caller said if he's shaming a guy for putting bread on the table is just wrong. He said that he's no blue collar worker. Howard said what this guy is saying is if you put the guy down for making money you sound arrogant because he was handed money in his life. He said he did work hard but he was also left money by his family.
King said he's not shaming Bubba. He said he's saying that he's on Howard's level now. He said if he had money he'd think he was better than Howard. Howard cut him off. He said what he thinks he's trying to say is that Bubba had a lot of money and he's not sure what he did with it.
Howard took a call from another guy but King was still trying to talk. The caller said that King said he felt like he was going to die when he played his daughter's song so please play the whole song.
Howard took another call from a guy who said King's daughter is very talented. He said she may have given us the best gift of all when he broke down crying. He said he thinks he'll shut right the fuck up if they isolate that moment. Howard thanked the guy for the call.
King said anyone in Virginia please go out and vote. He said if this guy gets in there then here comes Trump with that bullshit again. He said he's sick of this shit. He said don't let him in down there. He said he's also looking for a manager who can manage groups. Howard let him go while he was asking for Justin Bieber's manager.
Howard asked Benjy if he's going to be in the marathon or not. Benjy said he will be in it. He said he's going to mostly walk it but he will run some of it. Howard said he says it takes him 30 minutes to walk a mile so that's a long time. He said it doesn't seem like he's pushing that hard. Benjy said that was in the dark and in traffic. Robin asked if he was running on the highway. Benjy said it was in the city so pretty much.
Howard said Benjy is always difficult. He said they wanted to put a microphone on him during the marathon. He said he agreed to do it but then he changed his mind. He said he got in touch with Jason and he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it. He said Jason is getting tired of the whole thing. Jason said he has an intermediary. He said that he keeps going back and forth on it. Howard said he knows he wants it to happen but just give up. Benjy asked if he can respond. Howard said of course. He said this is what happens with Benjy.
Benjy said he was asking about the different types of equipment. He said they were going to let him try something out. Jason said they sent him the lav microphone and he didn't want to use it. Jason said that he wasn't dealing with him directly but this is what he heard. Howard said he thinks they should just drop it and forget about it. Jason said they're not going to cover Benjy at the marathon.
Benjy said this is not what happened. He said they're completely lying. Howard asked what happened then. Benjy said he tried the lav microphone out. Howard and Jason cut him off and said that he's not giving an answer. He said they're trying to put shit together for the show. Benjy said he didn't give them a problem about it. Jason said he has to have a meeting about it every day. Benjy said he just said that it might fall off but he'll give it his best. He said he does want to wear it. He said what he asked was that he has a bluetooth microphone that goes to his phone. He asked that would be as good. Howard said let them hear the quality of it. He said put it on and record it. He said they'll see what's better. Howard said just wear the lav the way the guys set it up. Benjy said it's wires that will flop around his body and it'll slow him down.
Jason said this is the first he's hearing about the bluetooth. Benjy said that's a lie. He said that's not the case. Howard said he's going to help him out here. He said that he and Benjy don't want to do it so they're not doing it. Jason said thank you. Howard said they should have tried it out from the beginning. Benjy said he wanted to use Bluetooth from the beginning. He said they're lying about this stuff. He said ask the intermediary. Howard said it's always an issue with him. He said everything turns into a yelling match. Benjy said if they were lying about him it would piss him off too.
Robin asked who the problem is if it's not Benjy. Howard said just try the Bluetooth then. Benjy said he did try it and they have used it. Howard said he'll find out. Benjy said they tried it out on Zoom the other day. Howard said they want him to record his comings and goings. Benjy said he wants to do that. Howard said just do it and wear whatever they want him to wear. He said try out the Bluetooth and let them know what it sounds like. Benjy said he was told they are going to Zoom during the run. Howard said he's not in this conversation. He said that he's not in the weeds about this. Benjy said he was told he was going to Zoom during the run. Howard said this is getting too heated. He said he doesn't need this. He said they'll come up with something better for him to do. He said they'll come up with a bit so he doesn't have to strain himself.
Howard said he thinks if this was him he would have been able to work things out. Robin said no one should take this much time to make something happen. She said it's all about Benjy.
Jason said that Sal and Richard are so easy to work with. He said that they just do it when you ask them to do something. Benjy said this is all lies about him. He said at the beginning he said he would love to cover it. He said he thought it would be best to use Bluetooth. He said he was asked if he would wear a camera attached to him. He said he was fine with that but he had to see if it was okay to do that. Howard said this is all of the stuff the audience doesn't want to hear. He said this is coming to him and he doesn't want to know about it. He said they have to work it out. Benjy said let him tell a lie about him and not let him fix it.
Jason said that Benjy can do it and just record it himself and he's looking forward to hearing it. Howard said he's looking forward to hearing it or not hearing it. He said just drink a lot of water during the marathon. He said this is what it is to be the boss. He said he doesn't want Benjy stressed out before the marathon. Robin said he looks good. She didn't get to tell him that. Howard said he just wanted to know if he's running with the microphone or not. He said then it was back and forth. He said he's not sure where his time goes during the day. He said he doesn't have time for this. He said Sal and Richard are great and they can just get things done. He said they peed in a bucket and it just happened. He said that Benjy happens to be right about wearing the right equipment. He said he doesn't need him getting messed up during the marathon. Howard wished him luck. Robin said reporters run with a lot of equipment on. Howard said just hydrate Benjy. He said he told his wife the same thing. He said she did it in like 4 hours and 15 minutes. Howard said they wish Benjy luck.
Benjy said he's just hoping to finish. He said that he was hoping to beat Robin's time but now it's just to finish. Robin said she pulled her groin. She said her time wasn't good. She said she did it in like 5 and a half hours. Howard said Benjy is going to be out there for like 15 hours. Benjy said he did find out that they let traffic through at some point. He said he's hoping to beat the traffic at the least.
Howard said Benjy might still be out there on Monday. He said he won't be able to make it to work. Robin said it would be funny to hear that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she can't stand to hear Benjy bitch about everything. She said that Howard is the boss so just put the microphone on. Howard said he's not the boss around here. He said you hear the way people talk to him around there. The caller said just take one for the team. Howard said he wishes she worked for him. He said he thinks they have some extra money in the budget to hire someone to handle Benjy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said give him any microphone and he'll run the marathon for them. He said the microphone doesn't matter. Howard said Benjy thinks it does.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he's going to trip Benjy drying the marathon just to shut him up. He said he's talking about how he's walking it and he has the balls to say the microphone is going to slow his time down. Howard said he'd wear a contraption on his head so he could say it actually did affect it.
Howard asked Benjy if he's registered for the marathon. Benjy said he is registered. Howard said they do print out the times for everyone who ran it. Benjy said he didn't know that. Howard said everyone is recorded so he'll see his name in the paper. He said it's not easy to get in so he's going to know if he's lying about it. Benjy said he really is registered. He said that's what stopped him in the past. He said he really did register this year.
Howard said he knew a guy who trained for the marathon and he didn't register. He said the wrist band monitors the time. He said the guy didn't know and didn't get registered. He said he wondered how this guy functions in life. He said this person ran and didn't get a medal or their time in the NY Times. He said what a dummy he was. He said people have that attitude. He said they never know. Howard said they just show up.
Benjy said he is registered. Benjy had a question for Robin but Howard said he has to go. He said he has Kristen Stewart coming in.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she hopes Benjy wears the microphone. She said she wants to hear all of that stuff. Howard said they did think it would be interesting but it's turning into a whole thing. He said he's not sure if it's even turning into something. He said there was a lot of yelling and screaming going on. He said that only happens on this show. He said he never hears people yelling and screaming at the boss on other shows. He said everything is a problem. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he still loves this song. He said he'd have it in his movie if he was an action star. He said he'd be like Steven Seagal and just stand there and kick.
Howard said Kristen Stewart is in a new movie about Lady Di and it's called ''Spencer.'' He said it's getting great reviews. He said it's good to see her. He said she was on the show like a year or two ago. He said it's been a while. Kristen said she thinks it's just under 2. Howard said he was thinking about her and how she looks like an angel. He said he hates to make it all about appearances but it has to be mind blowing to be so good looking. He said look at him and how bad he looks. He said the attention she gets from people even before she was famous has to be crazy. He asked if she gets so self conscious about guys making a big deal out of her looks. He said you almost get uncomfortable. He said he might be off base here. He said people must be all over her.
Kristen said that she thinks she projects things like her brothers. She said she doesn't think she's very approachable. She said she has tried to be nicer.
Howard said he thinks about how much looks come into this whole thing. He asked if she thinks about her face every minute. He said she has that glow about her. He said she's captivating. Kristen said this is such a great way to wake up. Howard asked how concerned she is about her appearance. Kristen said she has tried to incorporate more water into her life over the past few years. She said she thinks it's working in her favor. She said that she usually has coffee and she walks out of her house not thinking about her look.
Howard asked what's going on with this Lady Diana thing right now. He asked why we're so taken with her. He said it's The Crown, her movie and Broadway shows about her. Kristen said she thinks that the stiff upper lip thing is a real thing. She said that she was the first person in that institution who was out touching people in the face and she was so articulate about it. Kristen said everyone wanted to reciprocate and everyone wanted to be around her. She said we also lost her so early and there's a fixation on what they could have gotten from her if she had been around longer. She said she was one of those people who had that infectious personality.
Hard said he thinks that they are fascinated with her because she died so young. He said it's like a vampire movie when he thinks about it. He said it's not far from Twilight. He said the royal family comes off like a bunch of blood sucking vampires. He said he's watching the live being sucked out of her by the queen and the Monarchy. He said it reminds him of Diary of a Mad Housewife or something. He said she slowly went insane. He said it's like Twilight. Kristen said yes but she loved it in Twilight.
Howard said they paint Prince Charles to be monstrous in the movies. Kristen said their movie is so subjective. She said she feels so bad for him in the context of their movie. She said she has never met him. Howard said imagine if she does now. Kristen said she thinks that it's from her perspective. She said that there are two versions of you and you she has to show one part of herself to the public and one part to Charles. She said within the context of the movie they obviously shouldn't be together. She said she was groomed and poached. She said that you look back on it and see that wasn't the way to go. She said she feels bad for everyone involved.
Howard said he remembers those times when Lady Di was so gorgeous and she was the perfect princess. He said then it came out that Charles was in love with Camilla Parker Bowles. He said then the stuff came out about him wanting to be her tampon and things like that. He said it was crazy stuff. He said this guy wanted to be with this other woman while Lady Di was so perfect looking.
Howard said that he can't imagine that Kristen has been in that situation. He asked i that has ever happened to her. Kristen said once. She said she was delusional at the time and she was making herself crazy. She said it was just the once though. Howard said she reminds him of his wife. He said that she's able to get whoever she wants.
Howard said he also compares her to Lady Diana because she was 21 when Twilight got popular. He said that the Paparazzi was getting $50,000 for a photo of her. He said she was just 21 and the highest paid actress at the time. He said she was like Lady Di at the time. He said she was hounded like that. He said that she must be able to relate to that. Kristen said that she can relate. She said that she has to keep her curtains closed because people can take photos through her windows. She said she would hate to have to bring her people with her out everywhere she goes. She said she is so leaning in because she wants everyone to see her movie. She said she can make stupid mistakes and she won't get kicked out of the family though. She said that Lady Di was leashed and muzzled. She said that she had to wear an outfit to feel strong. He said she was doing that show how she was feeling.
Howard said Diana would do passive aggressive things. He said she couldn't just come out and say something. He said she's right about that. He said it's really weird that way. He said Kristen was a little more free. He said they didn't let Diana do anything. He said they yelled at her for keeping her windows open in the palace.
Howard said he thought there were rules against taking photos through the window. Kristen said it's only illegal if you use a telescopic lens or if you're on private property. She said you can post stuff on the internet and they're already getting away with it. Howard asked if she has to keep her windows closed like Lady Di. He said she must have a gated situation. Kristen said she thinks their Ficas has grown large enough to cover the window. She said that there were times when they got photos of them in the house and it was shocking. She said she felt like it should be illegal. Kristen said she has pulled back on the control thing though. She said that sometimes they're in her face and she's yelling ''fuck you'' at them but if they're across the street she's okay with it.
Howard said she's been working during the pandemic. He said he hasn't left the house in 2 years. He asked if she was nervous going out and if she got COVID. Kristen said she was sick before COVID was a thing they tested for like in February before everyone went inside. She said she went home from work and she felt like her skin was crawling off her body. She said she may have had it but she's not sure. She said that she had never been that sick before and she's not sure if she had it or not. Howard said he was afraid of getting it but he's been staying inside for the past 2 years. He said he's so freaked out by the whole thing. He said he doesn't get people who won't get vaxxed. Kristen said she doesn't get it either.
Kristen said that they had to drag her brother to get the shot. She said that he was kicking and screaming about it but she's with Howard on it. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he's not sure what they're afraid of. He said some people are afraid of needles but they seem to be more afraid that the government is telling them what to do. Kristen said it's ridiculous.
Howard said Kristen did a great job playing Diana. He said they're saying she's an early contender for an Oscar. Kristen said that's dope. She said that would be the first time in her life. Howard said she must want this fucking thing. He asked if she wants it too. Kristen said she does. She said totally. She said you sometimes watch the Oscars and you wonder why they win and they're not always the best performances. She said it is voted. She said it might be a once in a lifetime thing. Howard said you just want to act.
Howard said here's what they have going on. He said the have her against Jessica Chastain in Variety. Howard asked what she's in. Kristen said she's in that movie where she's playing Tammy Faye. Howard said that's not as good as Kristen though. He said they have her against Olivia Coleman. Kristen said she played the Queen in The Crown. Howard asked if you watch the other stuff to get the vibe or just ignore it so you don't taint your performance. Kristen said she watched it. She said that she thought it was good research. She said she watched 3 seasons in like 3 days. She said that whole thing is like their tabloid stuff over there. She said she loved The Crown.
Howard said Kristen said she would be a coward if she had turned down this role. He said she agrees. He said doing the accent can go wrong. He said Americans never get it right. He said everyone is going to weigh in and talk about her not looking like her or not sounding like her. He asked if she ever thought that she didn't need the pressure. Kristen said she was all in. She said she doesn't mind falling on her face. She said it was impossible to turn down this movie. She said that the guy who did this film had done some very different movies and they were very ambitious and weird. She said she felt like it was going to b strange and trippy. She said her eyes are green and Diana's are blue. He said they were very different. She said the director was very encouraging. She said she likes to do something big occasionally and this one was very ambitious. She said she had to take it or stop acting so much. She said this is what you grow into. She said she really liked the movie and other people are digging it so it was the right move.
Howard asked what she meant when she said she'd be a coward for turning it down. Kristen said it was that she'd be afraid of being an actor if she turned it down.
Howard asked if the accent was tough to do. He said he heard that she had the same vocal coach that they had on The Crown. He asked how difficult that was. Kristen said she had some time to think about it before they did it. She said she was practicing it for months. Howard asked if they hire her and just hope that they can do it. He said she doesn't know if she can pull it off until she's on the set. Kristen said that's it. She said she trusts the process. She said she has never been into preparing for things. She said that Diana didn't have a normal accent. She said it was so different that she had to work on it for months to make it feel less forced. She said that's hard to think about.
Howard asked what the exercise is. He said he was offered a role where he'd have to do an accent and he was very intimidated by it. He said that he turned it down. Howard asked if she has done an accent before. Kristen said she has spent a lot of time around the Brits but she did the accent once.
Howard asked what you do when you go to the coach. He asked if you act in front of him or what. Kristen said you have to have an ear. She said some people can hear it. She said they break it down and make it a very physical thing. She said they tell you where your tongue has to be and how far to open your mouth. Kristen said she doesn't open her mouth so much so she has to open her mouth more. Howard said opening her mouth wide and she sounds more like Diana. Kristen said it helps. Howard asked if you have to walk around trying to get it for 5 or 6 hours a day. Kristen said she's so method that she thinks she has circled back to being present and doesn't keep the accent. She said she wants to have these experiences and have the memories of it. Kristen said she feels like she had to be spontaneous and present when she played Diana. She said she feels a little bit spooky. She said she worked on the accent and learned the scenes. She said she didn't ad-lib anything. She said she learned her lines perfectly and then she just forgot about it and went in and worked. She said it was 6 months to work on it and then she was living in it.
Howard asked why her jaw locked up on the set. He said he read about that. He asked why she wasn't able to talk for 2 weeks. Kristen said she thinks it was a physical manifestation of the stress. She said she was pushing it away. She said she used to use anxiety for motivation. She said now she functions so much more purely and honestly if she's feeling safe. She said she felt like she was safe but her body knew better. She said 2 weeks before the movie she wasn't able to open her mouth. She said she was rubbing her jaw all day. She said then the movie started shooting and it started to open up.
Howard said when he got new jobs he would lose his voice. He said he got a sore throat and a massive cold and he'd lose his voice. He said it was awful and it ruined the whole experience. He said our bodies break down.
Howard asked what you do when it happens. Kristen said she has a good friend who travels with her. She said that she would be there for her. She said now she'd call her girlfriend. She said she told her friend she needed her there on this movie. She said she knew she was going to need her there. Kristen said she had her best friend with her and she has a team of people around her. Howard asked who this friend is. Kristen said it's someone she's known since she was like 12. Howard said she can confide in her then. Kristen said she can. She said she comforts her. She said they provide mutual salve. Howard said why not offer her some money to stay with her. Kristen said she wants her to fly free. She said she wants her to do what she wants to do. She said she's so smart and creative that she could do anything she wanted. She said they could make movies together some day. She said she and Suze have a long road ahead of them.
Howard asked if her girlfriend gets jealous of this friend. He said if his wife was on a movie and had a friend like that he'd be jealous. Kristen said she thinks they all get a little bit of FOMO. She said she has nothing to worry about with her and Suze though. Howard said he'd worry.
Howard said last time he spoke to her she was ready to get married and propose at least. He asked what's going on there. Kristen said she was talking about that yesterday. She said that she was going to propose to Dylan. Howard said he was all for it. He said he checks out her Instagram so he can see what they're up to. Kristen said they are going to get married. She said she kind of asked her. She said she wanted to be proposed to and she thinks she carved out what she wanted and Dylan nailed it. She said she did very well and they're marrying. She said it is happening.
Howard asked if it's upsetting that she had to tell her what she wanted. He said she wanted her to hide the ring in her dessert and all of this. Kristen said she thinks she felt it was so clear that she blew her load on Howard Stern. She said it wasn't a given that she was going to be the one who did it. She said that she didn't have to be the one. She said she was kind of joking that she wanted to be proposed to and it was so cute when she did it. Howard said he loves romance. He said he loves that movie she did that came out streaming. He said she was in a gay relationship and the woman she was in love with was embarrassed. He said he loved that movie. He said he had so much fun watching it. He said he loves this romance she has with this woman too.
Howard said he sees this as another way of her relating to Lady Diana. He said she came out of the closet and that was like Diana coming out and saying she was in a loveless marriage. He said in Hollywood they say that you need to believe the relationship and she didn't want to live her life that way so she came out and did it. He asked if she thinks it has cost her some roles. Kristen said not really. She said not anything she wanted to play. She said her favorite actors are people who aren't hiding. She said it comes across more real when they're not faking it.
Howard asked if anyone told her to keep it quiet before she came out. Kristen said she has had a conversation or two about that. She said that if she wasn't publicly a homo then she might get more high profile work. She said it was a weird thing to say to her. Howard said Anne Heche came out and he thinks that hurt her career. He said that she came out hard. Kristen said we have jumped forward so quickly that it's not a thing now. She said that she's not sure why she'd have to tell you who she has sex with. She said it's so weird. She said it's a different conversation with kids now. She said she wants to be woke and aware now but she's not with it. She said that it's more open now.
Howard said back in the day they had to keep it on the down load. He said he liked Happiest Season and he likes what she's doing with her personal life. He said this is who she is.
Howard said she must know a lot of actors and actresses who are closeted. Kristen said not really. She said that they're not open with her if they are. She said she thinks that everyone has come out. Kristen said that everyone seems to be out there. Howard said he's not sure if he buys that. Kristen said she's not friends with a lot of actors either. She said she can't think of anyone right now.
Howard asked if her parents are blown out by her career. He said that she's working and her family is in the business. He said they must be flipped out. Kristen said she went to visit her mom and she told her she was really busy and didn't have time to see her. She said her mom asked why. She said she hadn't seen the trailer or anything for this movie. She said she's not on the internet so she doesn't see all of this stuff. Howard said maybe she's envious of her career. Kristen said she doesn't think so. She said she has to send her stuff so she knows it's personal. She said her mom doesn't live there with us. She said she lives somewhere else. Howard asked if she's like a hippy. Kristen said she is sort of. Howard said she was home schooled. Kristen said she went to school but she got out when she wanted to act. She said that she hated school and she was so happy to get out in high school.
Howard said Lady Di was almost beaten down and she nailed that in her performance. He said she was beaten down mentally and physically. He said that's how she looked. Kristen said she was quite tall and she was always trying to be smaller. He said you could see it in her shoulders. Howard said he hates being tall too. He said he walks hunched over. He said he doesn't want to be seen. He said he looks like a fucking giraffe. He said that she's' right about the Lady Diana thing.
Howard asked if she ever had to deal with anorexia like she portrayed in the movie. Kristen said she didn't but she had anxiety and she felt like she had to puke. She said she was contemplating the future and she was exhausted by that. She said she had been through some stuff in her life and she was thinking she was fine. She said she got through her anxious period and she's so thankful for that. She said she doesn't struggle with that anymore. Howard said that's great.
Howard said that Diana was never able to get past that. Kristen said she didn't have the ability to get past it. She said she had such extremes in her life. She said that she hated herself because the one person who is supposed to love her doesn't love her. Howard said it was this one dude. He said he's no beauty. He said that he's not sure why he didn't love her. He said it's so odd.
Howard asked if she ever had a Paparazzi moment like Diana did. Kristen said she did. She said it's people who want to get you out of there and they're driving you around. She said that she'd race around herself and she'd do anything to get away. She said she'd see these guys blow through red lights and things and she didn't want to be responsible for that. Kristen said any time they drive through the tunnel in Paris you think about it. She said she has been in vehicles being chased by Paparazzi and it's scary. She said she had those experiences thinking about it. She said they'll do anything to get a shot. Howard said her advice is good to just let it happen and slow down. He said you don't want to die the way she died. Kristen said she can't believe it. She said it would reoccur to her that she died because someone wanted a picture. She said they spun out accidentally and the Paparazzi were actually 10 minutes behind them. She said she thinks about it and she was shattered every time she thought about it. She said she still can't believe that's how it all shook out.
Howard said no one was ever charged for chasing her or anything. Kristen said no one really did anything wrong. She said it was just a car accident. She said that there are a lot of conspiracy theories about the family. She said that the guy who was her personal protection officer goes on record saying that she still needed protection that no other people knew how to do. She said it's a different level and the people who were protecting her didn't know how to do it but it's still just an accident.
Howard said it's amazing how it gets inside of her and she's thinking about it. Howard asked if she's still thinking about her a lot. Kristen said she went to London not too long ago and it hit her again hard. She said the director turned the movie edit around in like 3 months. She said she's still so with her now because it wasn't that long ago that she shot the movie.
Howard said he was thinking about Kristen and how she did the movie with James Gandolfini. He said that he had his own thing to deal with and had just come off of The Sopranos. He said she was coming off of Twilight and she must have thought she was going to be typecast. He said that she and James had similar things going on. He asked if they got inside each other's head. He asked if it even came up. Kristen said that she's not sure they even talked about that. She said she shot that movie between Twilight 1 and 2 so it may not have even come out yet. She said she was getting into character and just playing the part. She said she was kind of owning that city and they probably didn't touch on it.
Howard asked if she thought she was going to be typecast in Twilight. Kristen said she hadn't though about that. She said she just though the movie was good. She said she had no idea that it was going to hit the way it did. She said the people who made it knew more about the cult following it had. She said that she just wanted to do the movie. She said she had no clue.
Howard said Gandolfini was something. He said it's cliché to talk about it but did he just make it easy to work with him. Kristen said she just loved that guy. She said he was so available. He was such a likeable person. She said she loves that man. She said she was in New Orleans when she found out he had passed away. She said she was right outside the place they shot the movie when she found out. She said she was just hanging out. She said she just recently watched The Sopranos and he was so good. She said she loves that man and she's so sad.
Howard said how about her ex playing Batman now. Kristen said she thinks that's great and funny too. Howard said some of the greats have played Batman. He said he'd be worried about fucking it up. He said the fans will go crazy. Kristen said she can't imagine anyone else playing it. She said she didn't have that reaction when she heard about Rob getting it. Howard said he can see her playing Wonder Woman. Kristen laughed. She said that she'll just call Gal Gadot and tell her she's taking her role. Robin asked if she would play a role like that. Kristen said that she isn't saying no but she's not saying yes. She said she hasn't picked a character yet.
Howard asked Kristen about dancing in the video that the Rolling Stones put her in. He said it's a great honor to be in a video like that. He asked how she got involved with that. Kristen said she has no idea. She said she has never met Mick and she has zero idea why they asked her to do it but it was a lot of fun. She said she thinks the band's managers may have suggested it.
Howard asked how they shot it and how long it was. Kristen said they just kind of winged it in one day. She said it was election day. She said they had to be out of there by 4pm so she told the that they had all better go vote. Howard said it's great that she got to do that. He said it was a good video. He said he had a whole back story about the whole thing. He asked if she got paid for that. Kristen's video froze. He said he might have just lost her. He said he has so many questions for her.
Howard said he has questions about the chances of winning the Oscar. Howard said they say that she has the inside track to win. He said he was going to ask her to mention him if she wins.
Howard asked the guys if they have an idea about Kristen. Gary said they're working on it. He said it looks like they're getting her back. Howard said good.
Howard gave Kristen a plug for Spencer which opens this Friday in theaters. Howard talked about a scene in the movie that he thought was really good. He spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Then they got Kristen back on and put her back on with Howard.
Howard said they were just talking about the Lady Di stuff where she binged on some food. He asked if she has ever met Prince Harry. Kristen said she has not. Howard said he wonders what she makes out of that whole thing. He said part of him thinks he's crazy for leaving but another part thinks he's brave. He asked where she stands on that. Kristen said she thinks that it's interesting to see them on different paths. She said that Diana wanted to raise a successful King and seeing that they're on different roads is interesting. She said it's good.
Howard said she must be saying she's proud of her son since she's close to being Princess Diana.
Howard said Kristen sounds different now because she's on her iPhone. He said that he's going to let her go since the connection isn't that strong. He said that he was playing with Robin and trying to figure out if she's going to win the Oscar. He said she's up against some tough competition. Robin said everyone else has been nominated before. Howard said that he'd like to request that she mention him in her speech. He said remember your old friend Howard. He said he'd like that. Kristen said maybe she can say ''Howie, you were right!'' Howard said he'd like that.
Howard said to clear up he'd like to say that she's engaged and there will be a wedding. He said he knows he won't be invited but are they having a big wedding. He said he wants something so he knows what's going on. Kristen said she wants to be in L.A. and doesn't want to walk down aisles and stuff. She said she just wants to have a good get together. She said they would love to be friends with Howard and have him there. She said it's a full standing offer for him to come. Howard said he'd come. He said he wants to see what she's going to wear and what the food will be and all of that. He said she looks good right now. He asked what she's going to wear. Kristen said she can't tell Howard because she doesn't want to tell Dylan. She said she doesn't want to wear a dress. She said she wants to wear Levis and a tux t-shirt. Kristen said she wants to just chill. She said she wants Dylan to laugh at what she's wearing.
Howard asked if they're going to wait a year for the wedding. Kristen said she's thinking at least a year. She said she doesn't want COVID to be a thing. She said that food will be a big deal too. She said the food has to be on point. She said they'll also have a mixture of food like Caviar and 7-Eleven food.
Howard said there has to be a band. Kristen said no. She said you need the hits. She said you have to have full on wedding music. She said maybe a band for the ceremony. She said she wants songs to be played to dance to.
Howard said he has a move for her. He said at his wedding they walked in and people were getting loaded. He said he walked in and got married while they had cocktails. He said they just got married right then. Kristen said that's kind of what they're planning on doing. She said they're going to just do it and get it over with. She said they're going to plan it all themselves and they heard that Guy Fieri might officiate weddings so they might have that man do that for them. She said it would be great and it would make her laugh so much. She said it would be great to have him there. Robin said he is a great person.
Howard said the audio is kind of weird with her iPhone microphone. He said that he's going to say that hey should have him marry them and then they get an Ed Sheeran to do one or two songs at the wedding. He asked how that is. Kristen said maybe that would work. Howard said the Stones at the wedding would be great.
Howard said it's great talking to her. He said her movie opens this weekend. Kristen said it's great talking to Howard too. She said he's got great interviews and she enjoyed it. Howard said he learns a lot about her when he talks to her. He said congratulations on the movie. He said he's thinking maybe an Oscar for her. He said check out her movie ''Spencer'' this weekend. He said he's sorry that the audio went cablooie. Howard thanked her for coming on today. Kristen thanked them too. She said they'll see each other soon.
Howard said it's a shame the connection got weird. Robin said it was awful. Howard said that's the first time that happened to them with the Zoom.
Howard said he got the invite to her wedding. He said he won't go though. He said he just talks big. He said he's not going anywhere with this COVID thing. Robin said she was reading that it's going to be with us the rest of our lives. Howard said he can't deal with that. He said he's not sure he can do that.
Howard said he would be the old man at the wedding. He said he likes he talked himself into an invite but now he can't go. He said he was going to say to her that Rob Pattinson should marry them and dress up like Batman. Robin said she's not sure how close they are. She said that it's crazy they did these movies as kids and they're still associated with each there. Howard said she's so cute. Robin said she has that funny hair do but she still looks good. Howard said it doesn't even matter how the hair is. He said he had a friend tell him that she's going to end up with a dude. He said he told him that he has no idea. He said you don't know.
Howard said Kristen said she's going to get married and they're going to keep it simple. He said she might change her mind about what she's going to wear. He said that it would be a tuxedo t-shirt. He said that she'd look dynamite in that. Robin said she's going to regret that in 10 years. Howard said they're kids. He said you don't know that.
Robin mentioned Howard's high school picture. Howard said he regretted that right away. He said that he was told to cut his hair in college and he did it. He said that he felt like a douche going to the cool rock station with short hair. He said everyone was dressed like hippies there. He said that he walked in with a jacket and tie. He said he felt like a douche. He said Donald J. Barnett said he was sick of the hippies and he was going to listen to his tape. He said that guy told him he looked like a good boy. He said what he lacked in talent he'd give him in drive. He said he turned down that job. He said he was such a douche. He said he got scared and turned it down. He said the guy who took the job was good and he tried calling the guy back to get the job. He said he got scared and nervous. He begged for another chance. He said that he had a part time thing for him so he gave him New Year's Eve morning.
Howard said he got the job and then he jammed up the equipment. He said he was told not to call but he had to call the guy. He said he got yelled at to call the engineer. He said the guy who came on after him told him he was going to get fired. He said that he apologized to Donald and he didn't fire him. He said he was an understanding kind of guy. Howard said the rest is history.
Howard asked the guys what happened with the connection with Kristen. Gary said she was fully connected to the internet but something happened to her computer and it crapped out. Howard said he's thinking it's their equipment. Gary said they are having issues. He said something is going on today. He said that's not what happened with Kristen. He said it was something different. Howard said he has a good connection there at his house. He said that he paid for the good stuff. He said he was having a nice time with Kristen today. Robin said the iPhone wasn't working at all. Howard said they should have just called her on the phone. He said next time they'll just call them back if they lose connection. Gary said they'll do that.
Howard gave Kristen another plug and said they'll be back tomorrow with Ed Sheeran. He said Ed had COVID but he wasn't able to be around. He said they've arranged for something so they'll see him tomorrow. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:40am.
Howard started the show talking about how he got a lot of love for the Bubba the Love Sponge impersonator yesterday. He said he was talking to him for about a half hour before the show today. He said he was doing a comparison between him on the phone and talking on the microphone. He said he thinks he likes him on the phone better. He said that's what he was busy with. He said he was checking the quality of it. He did an impression of his father talking about the proper modulation thing. Howard said it's important work. Robin said this kind of testing goes on off the air.
Howard said he has to hear the impression over and over again. He said he was talking to the guy and giggling. He said he was doing that while people were waiting for him.
Howard got fake Bubba on the phone to talk to him again. He picked up and fake Bubba was doing his impression and talking about how he wants to get back on the air over there. Howard said he loves when he mentions Jennifer Witz. Fake Bubba did that. He had Ned singing a song about hiring them back over there.
Howard said the fans get a kick out of the fake Bubba. Fake Bubba did more of his bits from the Bubba show. He mentioned the shock the balls thing and shock the puss. He did some of the shocking the balls with Lasker. Then they shocked some puss and went back and forth.
Howard said the email was overwhelming. He read through some of that and people were feeling bad for Bubba about having to deliver food. Fake Bubba disappeared for a second. He said he had to do a DoorDash deal so he was off for a second. He said he's got some other meals to deliver and then they'll shock some more balls.
Howard asked Bubba to tell Ned he's still got it. He said he has to talk to Jennifer about hiring them back over there. He said no one is doing shock the balls there.
Howard said the fans thought it was a new low that King of All Blacks hit when he goofed on Bubba about making money delivering food.
Howard said he has a clip from yesterday when the real Bubba was telling them about delivering for DoorDash. He played that clip and Bubba was telling him about how he did that for a little while. He claimed he wasn't recognized because he looks like anyone else down there in Tampa. Robin said that they weren't doing in person deliveries either. She said they were dropping the food off at the time.
Fake Bubba was talking about how they have to do that kind of thing to make a little extra money. He said he has to talk to Witz to get them back up there. He said Howard has the power. Bubba said they're going to do alligator dunk tank now down there. He had sound effects ready to go for that bit.
Howard said that's a solid show. He said this is actual tape of Bubba delivering DoorDash. He said they recorded it. He played the clip and Bubba said this is his second delivery. He said he's going to Chick-Fil-A and dropping off to Matt B. He said he and Tyler are both doing it. He said he started on a Saturday and it pays $8.26.
Fake Bubba said they can start a DoorDash Deal channel there. He said they can get channel 102 over there. Howard said it is kind of compelling hearing the deliveries. Robin wondered why one delivery is $9 and one is 8 something. Howard said don't ask fake Bubba about that. Fake Bubba said that there's math in there.
Howard said play that tape for college kids who want to get into radio and it'll scare them right out of it. He said this is a highly trained radio guy delivering DoorDash. He said that no one is left in the class after that.
Fake Bubba said that he was going to water board some of his guys with his shit wiping towel. He said they can teach them about that at school.
Howard said Bubba was talking about getting Ronnie's girl some breast implants or something. He got Ronnie on to talk about that. He said he's not sure what Bubba was talking about. Ronnie said that was from like 11 years ago. Howard asked if he really had that set up through Bubba. Ronnie said it was through Dr. Diaco. He said he does great work. Howard said he didn't know that and he didn't know if he was fucking him up. Ronnie said he thinks everyone knew about it. He said it was 11 years ago so they all knew about it. Ronnie said Dr. Diaco does really good work. He said it's really good shit and he recommends him highly.
Fake Bubba asked if he can spare some gas money. Howard said he has to go. Fake Bubba played himself off with the Bubba music.
Robin asked how Bubba didn't franchise that whole thing. She said he could have had all of those bits on other shows. Howard said she's right. He said he needs a woman like her in his life. Howard said a lot of radio stations don't want to run shock the balls on their stations.
Howard asked how much bigger Stephanie went. He said he doesn't remember any of this. Ronnie said that she was like an A or B and she's a C cup now. He said she didn't go too crazy. Howard said that's the way to go. Ronnie said they had the consultation and went down to Florida and Dr. Diaco said that he doesn't let you go too big and look like an idiot. He said it really came out good. He said it was a really good job.
Howard said he heard that after 10 years you have to get new ones. He asked if Stephanie is going to do that. Ronnie said so far they've been good. He said they're going to take a trip down to see him in the spring probably. He said they'll let him check them out then. He said she hasn't had any problems of any kind. Howard said the experts say that you should do it preemptively. He said after 10 years you get a new set put in. He said that's a pain in the ass though.
Howard asked if they feel natural. Ronnie said they do. He said they're better now than they were before when it comes to sensitivity. He said she's better now. Robin asked if they went in through the nip. Ronnie said they went in under the arm. He said the guy was great. He said her surgery took about 3 hours total. He said then she was able to fly home in 2 days.
Howard said they sometimes take the nip off like a pancake and then put it in. Ronnie said they weren't touched. Howard said then they lose the sensitivity in the nip. Ronnie said they weren't touched. He said it's awesome now. He said you touch them now and she jumps through the ceiling. He said it's great.
Howard said there you go. He said he's got an endorsement for Dr. Diaco. He said a lot of times you hear women complaining they lose feeling in their nips. He said that's a good way to get them going so that's a bummer. Ronnie said they have a lot of nipple play there. He said he does a tip of the tongue action thing. He said he does that very gently. He said you work into it. He said you get down and dirty after that.
Howard said nice. Ronnie said Dr. Diaco is like a regular on the show now. He said that he goes and does surgery while Bubba is ding his DoorDash. Howard asked how he met Dr. Diaco. Ronnie said it was through Bubba. He said they talked to him and then they went to meet him. He said they flew down to Tampa and he has a beautiful office there. He said it's the real deal. Howard said he knows that Stephanie has nice titties so good for her. He said Robin was blessed naturally but a lot of women aren't so they want bigger ones. Robin said some women go too big and their boobs arrive in the room 10 minutes before they do. Fred was playing a bunch of Ronnie drops and Robin drops during that discussion.
Ronnie said they went to visit Bubba down there and he was living in a trailer on his race track. He said that was in Ocala. He said that he asked to see Dr. Diaco's work. He said that he wanted to see Stephanie's tits. He said they didn't show him. He said that Bubba was just breaking balls.
Howard said he's kind of startled by this. He said Bubba had that big house in Tampa. He said he had a really nice house. He said it had a gym and 20 bedrooms. Ronnie said it was really nice. He said he had a movie theater in it and Jetskis out back. Howard asked if Ronnie knows about his house being taken away from him. Ronnie said he's not sure what the story is there. He said he was living at the race track at the time he visited last. He said it was set up nice but it was a trailer. He said he's not sure if his son was there at the time. He said the race track is out in the woods in the middle of nowhere. He said they went out to dinner at some nice place that was a chain kind of place. He said it wasn't too far.
Howard said Bubba is such a character. He asked where they stayed. Ronnie said they were staying in Tampa. Ronnie said that it was like an hour from Tampa or so to get to the race track. Howard asked if he asked to stay in the hotel with them. Ronnie said not at all. He said Bubba had a shower in the place. He said he had water. He said it was one of those trailer deals. Howard asked what it's hooked up to. He asked if it's on blocks or something. Ronnie said that's how it was.
Howard asked how many bedrooms it had. Ronnie said maybe one on each end. He said he had a kitchen and shower and all of that too. Robin asked if he had to use the bathroom there. Ronnie said that Bubba wanted to show them the property. He said he had an old truck he uses at the track so they got in the truck and the door doesn't even close. He said they were driving around and he's holding the door closed. He said Bubba is driving like a fucking maniac. He said he almost fell out of the truck. He said he drives them around with the headlights off in the middle of nowhere. He said everyone was flipping out there. He said Bubba was laughing his ass off. He said he drove on the track with the truck and they're going like 95 around the track and he's still holding the door closed for his life. He said Bubba is just laughing.
Howard asked how he can't make money with the track. Ronnie said it's not top of the line shit but they have a lot of people come there. He said he has the whole fucking deal going on. He said he has to be making some money with that. Howard said it sounds like he's not though. He said he's still doing the DoorDash thing. Ronnie said he's not sure when they started having races after COVID. He said that they went back to big NASCAR races in May. He said it must have killed him to lose like 2 seasons. Howard said he must not be getting a lot of money for his radio show if he's working for $9 an hour for DoorDash.
Robin said it sounds like he has a lot of people in his studio during the show. Howard said he's paying them all too. Ronnie said they still have the old studio too. Howard said he warned him not to do the studio thing. He said he shouldn't have paid for it himself.
Howard said Bubba built this luxury office for his show. He said it's a whole empire over there. Ronnie said he had the big BubbaGon there. Howard said he sat there like a king and those guys were the gladiators. He said it was like Game of Thrones. Ronnie said he feels bad or Bubba. He said he's a really good guy.
Howard said he was watching a Jason Statham movie and thought about Ronnie. He said that Ronnie was into him when they hypnotized him. He said that he's not sure what movie it was he was watching but Jason is sitting there and 3 goons come over to him and tell him to come with them. He said the next thing you see is him beating the shit out of the guys. He said the guy playing the boss man was that Milo Ventimiglia guy from This is Us.
Fred played some Ronnie drops. Howard asked how it is out in Vegas for Ronnie. He said he has to get up early to do this show. Ronnie said he gets up at 3:15. He said that it's fine. He said they're still unpacking there. He said he's like 95 percent done with that. He said Stephanie has more than he does. He said they have this giant walk in closet and he has one rack and a shelf and she has the rest of the closet. He said it's filled to the ceiling. Howard asked what she has in there. Ronnie said it's all clothes. He said he threw out so much shit when they moved. He said she needed all of this stuff so she kept it. He said just look at what she has there. He said she has books she won't get rid of but never looks at.
Howard said that drives Ronnie crazy because his mom was a hoarder. He said that when she died Ronnie had to clean out the house. He said that she had paper bags from the 1950s. He said that she was saving everything. Ronnie said he had to go through every bag. He said he found money in her bags. He said it was insane.
Howard said that drove Ronnie nuts. He said that Marie Kondo thing is the way to go. He said if you don't need it and it doesn't bring you joy then get rid of it. Howard said he and Beth have gone through this stuff. He said he used to get books through the show and they kept a lot. He said they figured if someone visited and wanted to read they could pull something out of there. He said he hasn't had one person come and read a book yet. He said maybe Beth's father. He said that they were going to take them all and send them to her dad. He said he wanted to get rid of the stuff. He said Beth wanted to keep it there because it looked good. Howard said he can't get her to get rid of these books. He said he should do it himself and get rid of them.
Ronnie said Stephanie has a ton of books she never reads. He said she has medical books and Dr. Seuss books.
Howard asked what happened with the moving company fucking his shit up. Ronnie said they're still working on it. He said he has a feeling they'll have to get a lawyer. Howard said Dr. Diaco says he's a lawyer and a plastic surgeon. Ronnie said he thinks his brother is the lawyer. Howard said he thought this guy was. Ronnie said maybe he is. He said he just knows he's a great doctor. JD said it's his brother. Howard said it would be nice to have someone who is both.
Howard said it looks like Ronnie is at the library of congress with so many books in there. Ronnie said there's another shelf filled with books in another room. Howard said it looks like they both have PhD's in there.
Robin asked if Ronnie was insured with the move. Ronnie said yes but this happened in the building so they're responsible. Robin said the insurance company might want to represent them. Howard said there you go. He said that they can tell the insurance company to go after them. He said maybe it'll work out.
Howard asked what the temp is out there. Ronnie said it's going to be 79 today. He said the weather has been so good out there. He said it's been nice at night and great during the day. Howard asked if he's one of those guys who checks the weather in New York to see how miserable people are. Ronnie said he hasn't checked. Howard said he would go to Florida and do that. He said he'd get pissed when it was warm up in New York. He said that there would be like a 5 degree difference and it pissed him off.
Howard said he went for a walk yesterday and there was that chill in the air. JD said he has a correction. He said that Dan Diaco is a doctor and a lawyer. He said his brother is also a lawyer. He said that Howard was right. Howard said he told you. He said he's a doctor and a surgeon. He said you need titties changed you go to him and if you get sued you go to him.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie sent JD a $95 bottle of wine. JD said it was for his birthday and for a house warming gift.
Howard let Ronnie go and told him to call up Dr. Diaco the lawyer about the house move issues. He said he can get a consultation on that and get the titties checked out at the same time. Howard said he loves Bubba. He said he loves talking to him. He said he's not sure what went on with the Hulk Hogan deal down there. He said he never brings it up. He said that he used to think Bubba was kidding when he asked if he wanted to fuck his wife. He said he wasn't kidding though. He said he's not into fucking other women. He said he has his wife and that's plenty for him. He said it would be weird to fuck his wife. He said he always thought he was just kidding around about that.
Howard asked Ronnie if he ever offered him his wife. Ronnie said he never did. He said he didn't think he wanted to cause any turmoil. Howard said that would have been great for the show. Ronnie said Heather was smokin' hot. Howard asked if he would have done that. Ronnie said he wouldn't have done that. Robin said that Bubba would say that he would let Howard do it but not anyone else.
Howard said he thinks Ronnie would have gone there. Ronnie said no. He said he would have felt weird. Howard said maybe but he thinks he would have done it. Ronnie said he doesn't think so.
Howard had fake Bubba back on to explain that whole deal. Fake Bubba was telling him about Hulk Hogan and all of that. Howard cut him off and didn't let him get into too many details, real or fake. He also told Howard that Dr. Diaco owns an auto upholstery shop if he wants to give him a plug for that. Howard said he thinks that guy is as funny as the real Bubba.
Howard said he was preparing for the show this morning and he asked where fake Bubba was. He said he wasted like 40 minutes just talking to the guy and no one was even listening.
Howard said he thinks he knows someone else who was put in the VIP line for his wife. Ronnie said he thinks he knows too. Howard said he'll tell Robin off the air about that. He said this guy was awfully nervous when that stuff was in the paper. Ronnie said right. Howard said he thinks Ronnie would have done it. Ronnie said he doesn't think so. He said he was lower on the totem pole for that anyway. Howard said those were some crazy times.
Ronnie said his wedding was crazy. Howard said he was funny at that wedding. He said he made the craziest speech there. He said they all flew down there. Ronnie said he didn't fly with them. He said he was there before they were. Howard said Ronnie was wasted there. He said he was so drunk. Ronnie said Spice Boy told him he had to get up there and use his tag line. He said he told him he'd pay him $100 to get up there. He said they just kept drinking and drinking. He said he was dancing with some girl there and he was so fucking drunk. He said he was grinding with this girl. He said she was smokin' hot too. Howard said he thought he was going to fuck her on the dance floor. Ronnie said it was crazy. He said the husband was loving it too. He said then the guy got pissed toward the end of the night because the girl wanted to dance with him.
Howard said Ronnie stole the show when he made his speech. He said he gave him a big crystal vase. He said then he got up and made his speech and he was using all of his taglines. He said they must have audio of that. Ronnie said after all of that was said and done he got back to his room and he was in bed and said he was fucked on Monday. Howard said he's lucky that was in Florida. He said there are almost no laws down there. He said that guy could have shot him.
Howard asked the guys if they have the speech or do they have to dig it out. Howard asked when his wedding is. Ronnie said they're talking about it now. He said they're settled there and they're going to work on that next. Howard said Dr. Diaco might be able to marry them.
Howard said he remembers Richard Christy having to be wheeled off the plane on the way down to Florida. Howard found the audio of Ronnie's speech but it wasn't very good quality. Ronnie said it was good the time they played it originally. Howard said maybe they can hear it. Howard played the clip and Ronnie was going nuts introducing his new girl Jennifer. Then they wanted him that her husband was a big guy. Ronnie said fuck that guy. Howard said it's all just too much to get into.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and talked about the Imagine Dragons song they were playing. He sang along with it. He said he can tell you what that song is about. He said it's not all that interesting though.
Robin asked what that is on his shirt. Howard said it's skeletons dancing. Robin said she wasn't able to make out what it was. She said she wasn't able to figure it out. Howard said his wife got it for him. He said it's a John Varvatos shirt. He said she got it on sale. He said she got a couple for him. He said he mix and matches them for the show. He said everyone loves it.
Robin said she was getting a Halloween vibe from the shirt. Howard said he hates Halloween so much that he'll throw it out if that's the case. He said he used to hate Halloween at the building he lived in. He said they'd put up the decorations in the building and he hated that. He said they had animated stuff in the lobby and it was like Ronnie's lawn times 10. He said you paid a lot of money to live there and he would ask the door man about it and he'd say it was for the kids but not that many kids lived there. He said he thinks the people on the board wanted it for their kids. He said they took over the building with shitloads of garbage in the lobby.
Howard said he thinks that he complained so much that they calmed down with it. He said it wasn't just him though. He said he would try to get Regis to help him get rid of it too. He said that's when Regis was still around. He said Regis would be in shorts and a tank top going to the gym and he loved seeing that guy. He said he was so friendly that he felt like he was in show business. He said he'd ask him how he was and how Beth was. He said the guy was shot out of a rocket all the time. He said he was always on. He said he saw him toward the end and he had lost the energy. He said he was always nice to him though.
Howard said Regis got fucked in his career so he had to deal with a lot. He said he's not even sure what the story was. He said even when he got kicked off that show in the morning he kept going. He said he just took it. He said he wanted to get into it with him talking about the show but Regis was a gentleman about it all. He said he appreciated the guy. He said they would talk in the lobby and it as nice. He said they confided in each other with some stuff. He said he was a nice guy.
Howard said he tried to get Regis on the team to get the decorations under control. He said every year it grew and grew. He said they had one area of the lobby with corn shafts. He said it was the vines and stuff. He said it was the dead corn stuff. He said that it was corn stalks in the lobby and it was like millions of them. He said it was like Children of the Dammed in there. He said then he found out it was one dude whose kids were into Halloween. He said he just wanted to impress them.
Howard said he liked the building because it was nice and you wanted people to think you'd made it. He said that everyone thinks he's dressed up as a scarecrow. He said the kids would point to him and they thought he was part of the motif in there.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if his parents ever decorated the house. Howard said they hated every holiday. He said they celebrated nothing. He said they hated Halloween too. He said his parents would get upset. He said the house would get egged. He said the kids must have hated his dad or something. He said they would chalk the house and egg it. He said that he agreed that it was all nonsense. He said they never had any decorations on the house. He said his mother would hand out candy but she was belligerent about it. He said it was just horrible. He said he felt bad about it.
Howard said he would go trick or treating but his friends were all degenerates. He said they got chased by the police. He said he took whoever he could get as a friend. He said they lit off fireworks and the police would see them and chase them. He said he spent one Halloween hiding under a bush from the police. He said it didn't work out well for him.
Howard said he wasn't into chalking houses or anything. He said he was just hanging out with his friends. Robin said she'd go out and get candy and then kids like Howard would steal their bags. Howard said he would get beat up if he did that. He said he knew better than try to be a tough guy. He said he'd never steal candy.
Howard said his mother would take his candy and put it in a big bowl. He said he'd want to take something and he trusted his mom. He said he had to love her. He said he had to go along with her. He said that he wanted good things. He said he'd bring home a good haul of candy and his mom would pick through it. He said she'd tell him he'd had enough and he'd eat it as the days go by. He said then she'd put it on top of the refrigerator. He said the good candy would disappear. He said he didn't see the good shit he got. He said he'd ask his mom what happened and she'd ask him what he was talking about. He said she convinced him that he didn't have the good stuff. He said she would throw the shit out in the middle of the night. He said when he woke up she'd tell him he ate it the night before.
Howard said years later his mother told him that she ate it and didn't tell him. He said that they'd laugh about it years later. He said both of his parents were laughing. He said he thought he was going insane in that house. He said he's not sure what they did with that candy.
Howard said he never argued with his mother. He said the shit they did to him... fuck. He said they'd clean out his candy stash. He said he had some good stuff and they would leave the shitty candy behind. He said they'd leave the candy corn and shitty candy like that behind. He said his mother loved telling the story about eating the candy and fooling him. He said she would tell the story and laugh.
Howard said that's when you can eat candy. He said they took that joy from him. He said it was horrible. He said then he'd go to school and get beaten up by people so he forgot about the candy. He said it's all good now. He said he's a happy individual. He said his shrink tells him to build relationships with people but people suck. He said he doesn't want to build any relationships.
Howard said he was working with Mark Ronson and he almost ended his career. He said he can't sing. The caller insisted he'd be a good singer. Fred played some music for ''Old Man River'' so Howard could sing along. Howard said he's right, he is terrific. Howard tried to sing it but it wasn't in his key. Howard cut it off and gave up. He said this is teacher Dan's daily call from the nut house.
Howard asked Dan what he thinks he can sing. He asked him for a warm up exercise. Dan told him to sing some stuff. Howard tried doing what he asked him to do. Dan told him that he could be good if he tried.
Howard said he never had a teacher encourage him in anything. He said if he had a guy like this then maybe he could have done something. Howard said Billy Joel had a teacher who encouraged him. He said Ed Sheeran did too so they'll talk to him about that. Howard said he never had that but maybe if he did he could have been a singer.
Howard said Dan isn't wrong and he has a teacher named Lou Ferrigno on the line who agrees with him. He picked up on fake Lou for a second but he bailed on the bit quickly.
Dan kept telling Howard that he hears him and he thinks that he could be a good singer based on what he's heard. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was Fun George Takei. George had Howard singing along with him. Howard said George is a professional singer. Fun George sang some stuff from his musical. He said you have to use your taint to support your diaphragm. Howard said he's interested now that Dan has said he's a good singer. Robin asked what kind of music he hears Howard singing. Dan wasn't able to answer because Howard was singing.
Howard asked Dan to sing. Dan did some opera singing. They played some drops of Robin singing and Fun George did some of his own stuff too. Howard was cracking up. Dan said he was honored to get on the show. He said he has to go teach in like 5 minutes. He said that he wouldn't need to be paid if he ever wants to talk about virtual lessons. He said that he'd be down for that. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard asked Fun George to sing a duet with him. He sang The Hills Are Alive with Fun George. They were trying to sing along but the audio wasn't synced up so they were way off. Howard said let Fun George go and closed the door on him.
Howard said done of the songs he predicted was a song about Diana singing about how ugly Camilla is. He said he wasn't far off. He played the song that he made up about the musical and then played an actual song from the musical that was between Diana and Camilla. He said it was like a roast battle.
Howard said that he predicted the Paparazzi song too. He played the clip of his made up song and then the song they did about it in the musical. the song in the musical was called ''Snap Click'' and he thought his own was better. Howard said he used actual sounds in his song. He said they should have done that.
Howard said he had a song about when Diana was actually free. He said she was suffering so. He played the song and then played the song in the musical that was about her being free. He said his song was good. In the musical they had Diana singing about how free she was.
Howard made up more songs for the musical where he sang about being able to go out to Applebees and things like that. He said he did get something wrong about when she died in the car crash. He said that may have been too hard core for the musical. He played his song about dying in the crash. He said they didn't put that in. He said it may have been in poor taste. He said in the musical they just say she died. Howard played the clip from the musical where they had news reports and sang about that instead. Howard said that may have been more tasteful than his song.
Howard played a song called ''Here Comes James Hewitt'' because that's the guy that she was seeing before she died. Howard said the song is full of horse double entendre. He played a quick clip of that.
Howard said there's a song about Diana putting on a ''fuck you'' dress and they have her saying ''fuck'' a lot in that song. He played some of that song. Robin said these are terrible songs. Howard said how dare you.
Howard said there you go. He said he wasn't that crazy about his songs he was making up. He said maybe the teacher was right and he could be a good singer.
Howard said they'll get Ed Sheeran on in a sec. He said they'll talk to him about selling his songs. He said that he has sold them because they aren't ''Ed Sheeran'' songs but they are if he makes them his own.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and asked Robin if she knows who this is singing. Robin didn't know. Howard said that's Foy Vance. He said that's one of Ed Sheeran's influences. He said it's a good song.
Howard said Ed Sheeran is in England right now. He said he hasn't seen him in a few years now. He said he's the new and improved Ed Sheeran. He said he lost some weight and got in shape. He said when he met him he was a party boy and now he's a serious machine. Ed said he has become a dad and that shifted his bed time and waking up time and once you're up you're up. He said he'd work out with his daughter in the room. He said that's how he got into shape. Howard said that's what time he's up. He said he gets up at 5.
Ed said that he watched A Quiet Place 2 last night and that's not something to watch right before bed. Howard asked if he stopped drinking too. Ed said he stopped with the unenjoyable drinks. He said he drinks wine and beer but not spirits. He said now he doesn't do that.
Howard said this is a whole different Ed. He said as a song writer it's a whole different you. He said he put out his album ''+'' it was something and now he has this new one out. Ed said that was just a diary of an 18 year old boy album. He said he was just trying to make it. He said it has changed in the past 10 years. He said he can't be doing the same thing now at 30.
Howard said Ed has been writing music forever. He said he heard that the actual album he put out at 11 sold for like 50,000 pounds. Ed said he's not sure why it went for that much but it's not worth that. Howard said he doesn't know about that. He said it gave him hope listening to it. He said he had it on his computer but it's not there. He said for an 11 year old kid that was pretty damn good music. He said he sees the evolution over time. Ed said there is this myth that you're born with talent and he just has to play that to show them. He said then they laugh and say he's right. He said that he's no longer embarrassed by it because he can show that you can achieve your dreams with hard work and practice.
Howard said he's so right about working at things. He said he has studied a lot of art history and no one is born a great painter. He said they work at it. He said they grow up in a family where the father painted or something and they learn the craft. Ed said that people have had their confidence backed up by someone telling them they can't do it. He said you can't push on if you don't have the confidence. He said in the UK the teachers will tell you to get a real job. He said that's what they'll tell a kid who wants to be a professional musician. He said that you can do things now and get it noticed. He said back in his day he had MySpace. He said if you go back 30 years then it was quite difficult to have success. He said that you might just give up if that's the case.
Howard said he had Bill Joel on the other day and they were talking about the same thing. He said he had a music teacher that was very encouraging. He said Ed had the same thing. He said Billy never even thought about being a professional musician. He said the teacher told him he could and he was shocked. He said Ed had the same deal. Ed said making a living as a musician isn't that hard. He said he started playing music and he was playing in pubs for free. He said he got paid in food and drink. He said he got paid 20 pounds once and then he was making more and more. He said he wasn't in it to make money. He said it just came to him. He said it turned him into a professional musician. He said anyone can be a professional but being a big star is the one in a million thing.
Howard said everyone was goofing on Ed as he was trying to make it. He said even the record company he's with now. Ed said that they were rightfully doing that. He said that he was signed on with a small record label and it wasn't that much of a risk for them. He said if it didn't go well it wasn't that big of a deal. He said he can see why they were seeing this fat ginger kid rapping and beat boxing and they didn't see where he fit. He said that he wasn't like James Blunt. He said once it broke through then they're looking for someone similar to him. He said that's just the way it works.
Howard asked if any of the record company guys came to him and said they should have signed him. Ed said they have. He said he had one guy who's a really good guy who told him that. He said that he was with Island Records. He said that he came up to him and told him that and he was happy that he was honest about it.
Howard said he loves stories lie that where these guys pass on someone like The Beatles. Ed said it wasn't really like that but he had so much else going on that he wasn't able to fit him in.
Howard said Ed is really big but he'll find couples getting married and he'll show up for free. Ed said that if he's free he'll do that. He said that there was an article in the paper about how he was booked to do Gordon Ramsey's daughters wedding. He said that Gordon actually emailed and asked him what the fee would be. He said he made a trade to have him teach him how to cook and he'll perform a song. He said on the wedding front someone will ask him to play a wedding and i he's free he'll do it. He said if he's in the area he'll get on stage and do a song. He said he has a few drinks and it's fun.
Howard said that's the thing. He said it has to be fun. He said that's why his career is flourishing. He said that he has the same thing going on. He said he was at a guy's house and he had Elton John there to do songs for about 100 people. Ed said that it's all dependant. He said if you get paid for that it's great.
Ed said that he was at a party and Elton got up and did like 3 songs. He said Brandi Carlile did a few songs too and then he did some songs. He said if you're in a place like that and you respect those people then you get up and do it. He said you want to bring out the big guns and do a new song or something. He said then you impress your peers.
Howard asked what songs he played. Ed said he did some songs from his new album that he thought would impress Elton. He said that they're the songs that a song writer will be impressed by.
Howard said he likes some of these new songs. He played some ''Visiting Hours'' from the new album ''='' and said it's such a beautiful song. Howard said he loves this. He said it gets him in tears. He played some of the song.
Howard said that song is about his friend Michael. He asked who he is to him. Ed said he was his Australian promoter but he had given his manager his first job. He said he's a legend in the industry. He said he met him in like 2011 and he was a promoter and he was a super fun guy. He said he had a big personality. He said he always had fun with the guy. He said that he started seeing him more and more and he stayed at his place in London. He said that he did a big show in 2015 and he had an after party with about 7 of his best friends and Michael. He said he was an older guy and he became one of his best mates. He said he went traveling in Australia and he traveled with him. He said they stay with each other whenever they're around. He said he used to fly places in the world to hear his music before it came out. He said he has some very close friends and it's maybe 5. He said he has other friends who are close and Michael was one of them.
Ed said Michael was a fantastic bloke who passed away in March. Howard asked if it was a sudden thing. Ed said it was. He said he didn't get to say goodbye to him. He said he had lost his grandmother in 2016 and he got to spend a lot of time with her before she passed away. He said that everyone had made peace with it but with Michael he got a call at 3 in the morning from his son telling him the news. He said he had a feeling that it was bad news. He said he just instantly knew. He said he went down there for the funeral but was in quarantine for it. He said that's where he did this song. He said he was locked in a house grieving for his family. He said the best thing for him was being in the house with his 6 month old. He said she was happy and he had to be happy around her. He said that was hard.
Howard said he's not sure if it would be better to go quickly or make it long. Ed said you want it to be long. Howard said he's not sure he could handle that long goodbye. Ed said he just wants 5 more minutes with Michael. He said you want to be able to say goodbye.
Howard asked how you decide to write a song about this guy. He said you don't consciously do it. Ed said he had a line for a while that he wanted to put into a song. He said he had this ''I wish heaven had visiting hours'' in a song that someone else wrote for him and he asked him if he could use it. He said the guy told him that's fine. He said he had been working on the song but it wasn't really finished. He said when he was there in Australia he finished it. He said songs sometimes can take months to finish. He said with ''Perfect'' he had something that was ready to go. He said sometimes a song can sit on his voice notes for months and months and then it's ready to go.
Howard said he read that he can write a bunch of songs in a week and then he goes through them. He said he just has to write. Ed said that his process is different than some. He said the harder he works the luckier he can be. He said he has written so many songs. He said the more you write the more chance you have of having a good one. He said that you have to dare to suck. He said that you don't want to just try to beat a song you've had in the past. He said you write a bunch and hope you get one good one out of that.
Howard said the other song he reacted to was ''First Times'' and he went back and looked at the lyrics. He said this was about playing Wembley Stadium and he felt nothing about it after playing it. He said Ed was kind of shocked that he felt nothing. He read the lyrics and said what a weird sensation for him. Ed said that Howard must have had that. He said he's at the top of his game and he has set goals. He said when you get drive time you're done. He said then it happens and you wonder what's next. He said his realization was that he worked so long to get there that when he got there it was like a fever pitch and by the time they got there the journey had been so amazing that he thought the actual event would be like ''We did it!'' but it was really just another gig. He said the excitement of his wife talking to him was the thing that got him.
Howard said it's the truth when you're focused on your career you're not aware of the tornado around you. He said he made a film about his life and he would have thought people were crazy if they told him that when he was a kid.
Ed said he had this album Divide come out and he wishes he had sat down for half an hour and talked to his best mates about how awesome that was. He said he had done it. He said Ed came to his house once and he had him down to his hang area. He said he went back and watched Howard's movie after seeing his poster. He said that was really cool. He said at the time Howard was caught up in it at the time but now he can look back at it and think it was cool.
Howard said he did have Ed over at his house one night. He said that he remembers that he was holding a kitten and his wife can't find that photo. Ed said that was a wonderful night. He said he was so impressed by Howard's painting and how passionate he is about it. He said he was so impressed that he took up painting himself. He said that no one had to judge his stuff and he realized that he can do that. He said he has some paintings in his house and no one sees them and judges them. He said he just makes paintings that he can put on the wall. Howard asked what paint he uses. Ed said it's just house paint. He said he paints them one color and he'll paint over that with bright colors. He said he just layers over that over the course of 60 days. He said he'll do 20 seconds and just leave it. He said he'll do it day after day and then he says it's done. He said he'll put on an extra layer and then he fucks it up and has to start over. He said then he gives them away. He said he gave some away over Christmas. He said people would see them and ask for them. He said he'd just send them away. He said he'd rather give them away and not sell them. He said it's nice that his friends have them hung up in their homes.
Howard said he likes that he's doing it but not for show. He said that he knows a lot of musicians paint. He said Rob Zombie does that and he paints massive paintings. He said he had one that he told him he loved and Rob said he'd send it to him. He said he painted something for him and they swapped paintings. Ed said he did that with Robbie Williams. He said that they swapped paintings. He said he has one that Robbie painted that says ''Say drugs to no.'' He said it's great.
Ed said that his father never was into art but he saw the joy he got out of it and he started. He said you just do it for the hell of it and it's enjoyable. He said he writes songs and not just to get on radio. He said he writes them every day because it makes him feel better. He said if he's having a bad day he writes something. He said he feels bad and he can write something and out of a bad situation something good comes out of it. Ed said that he does both things, writing songs and art, because he enjoys it. He said if you're listening to this you should do the same.
Howard said he read that Ed will write songs for other performers. He said he does it on a regular basis. He said they turn out to be massive hits. Ed said he loves the craft of song writing. He said it took a while for him to sign as a solo artist. He said that he wrote a song for a big singer there in the UK and he realized he could make that his profession after he had that one song make it. He said that he had hits with One Direction and people like that. He said he was a big fan of K-Pop and he wrote some stuff for a band doing that. He said he just really enjoys it. He said it's about him wanting to make music with different genres. He said that he likes doing it. He said that there's always a song that's about to come out and he likes having that excitement.
Howard said once you lose the joy then you're no longer a song writer. He said you have to like hearing your song on the air. He said that's what keeps you going. Ed said that he enjoys writing the songs and even if he uses just one he isn't saying he didn't enjoy writing the other 19. He said some songs are better on radio and some aren't. He said he's not pushing some songs for the radio but he enjoyed writing them.
Howard said he loves that he wrote this song for someone else. He played ''Shape Of You'' for him. Ed said that he had written that song for another performer there in England. He said when he was done with his album ''Divide'' he was thinking he was going to give that song to someone else. He explained how the song ended up on his album. He said he though they should get Rihanna to sing with this band Rudimental and he sang it for the producer and he wanted to put it on his album. He said no but they put it on. He said that song doesn't fit with that album but it's the biggest selling song in England. He said he's glad that it ended up on the album. He said that song has a different life now because he plays it live. He said that's the real teste of a song. He said he doesn't care how big a song is. He said if it's not the closing song of the next tour then it wasn't a hit song. Ed said that song has been made into something different around the world. He said they strip him off of it and it's something else. Howard said that's amazing. He said the thinks that's the greatest.
Howard asked Ed to talk about Elton John. He said this guy has become a good friend of his. He said that he just had COVID. He asked if he's doing Saturday Night Live this weekend or not. Ed said he's not sure why there was a big furor about it. He said he was always playing it. He said he tested for COVID and he announced it a couple of days later. He said it's quite an odd thing to announce to the world. He said he's out of it now and it's just an odd thing. Howard said he doesn't like going on radio and saying something is wrong. He said people think you're dying. He said you'd rather keep it to yourself.
Howard said he heard that Elton was calling him every day to see if he was okay. He asked if he had heavy symptoms. Ed said he was super ill and run down before. He said his daughter had flu before that and he had gotten sick with that. He said he was testing every day to make sure he didn't have COVID. He said he was also getting up early and doing interviews very early. He said he was really rundown. He said then one day he caught it. He said the lucky thing is that he tested every day. He said the moment he tested positive he hadn't seen anyone. He said he didn't have to ring up people. Howard asked if it was tough getting over it. Ed said it was but he was run down before that so that may have made it worse. He said his wife was away so it was just him and his daughter. He said that it was like 3 bad days of symptoms.
Howard said it sounds great that Elton called him every day. Ed said he has a great sense of humor so he was making jokes. He said that was happening every few months. He said when they had their daughter he started calling once a week. He said then Michael died and he started calling. He said he rung him up the day after. He said that you get to a point where you have a conversation and you just start crying. He said then you pull yourself together. He said that was happening with Elton. He said from that point he was calling every day. He said it hasn't stopped. He said Elton calls every single day now. He said he told an interviewer one day and they didn't believe it. He said Elton called during the interview and he put him on to tell the reporter that he was calling every day.
Howard said that's some relationship he has. Ed said that Elton has that with so many other people. He said that he talks to a lot of people like that. Howard asked if it's true that he will give you advice and he told him to mentor other artists. He said he heard he took that to heart and tried to sign Sean Mendes. Howard asked why he didn't sign with him. Ed said that nothing went wrong for him. He said that he was already down the road with that record label. He said that he wants him to have a career and not just under him. He said that has happened to him loads of times. He said he'll just back off if he gets a hint of anything being off.
Howard said he was reading about some of his favorite songs written by other people. He said he was shocked to see this one. He played ''American Pie'' and he said he thought the song was a little bit boring. Ed said if you read about what the real meaning of that song is then you'd be blown away. Ed said that one of his friends told him that the best rapper he's ever heard is Don McClain. He said just search the song for what the real meaning of that song is. He said that it goes into what the song is really about and how things shifted in the 70s. He said it goes into the Stones playing with the Hell's Angels and things. He said this thing will blow your mind. Howard said he'll have to check it out.
Howard said he may stand corrected. He said he didn't know this song ''Jealous'' by Labrinth. Ed said he heard that song was about his dad and not what they think it's about. Howard said that's pretty heavy. Ed said he hasn't spoken to him about the song but he thinks that's the best song of the 21st century by far.
Howard said Ed will hear a song by someone like Bruce Springsteen and he wants to write a song like that. He said he gets that. He said he wants to do the same thing with painting. Ed said it is about art and the things you've been inspired by. Howard asked what song he wrote that sounded like ''The River.'' Ed said it was more about the whole album and not that song alone. He said it inspired him to write something about his home town. He played some of his song ''Castle on the Hill'' for Howard. He said that's a proper home town kind of song. Howard said he gets it now.
Howard said he loves when he just plays guitar. He said without a band is the best way to hear him. Ed said he may do that. He said he gets a lot of push back from people when he puts and album out. He said that's what he's expected to do. He said he wants to do things that he wants to do. He said he may do a stripped down album. He said he wonders what's next after that though.
Howard asked Ed if he's getting ready to do Saturday Night Live and Lorne Michaels tells him that if he comes on he has to bring his band. Ed said that was the first time. He said he let him do a loop pedal last time. He said he was going to do that but he can't do that this time. He said he has to have the band with him this time.
Ed said that his fan base is scared by him doing a song with a band but if he keeps doing the same thing over and over then they get tired of it. He said he likes being able to do things that don't make sense to people. He said ''Shape Of You'' doesn't make sense. He said he loves being able to do things that fit in different boxes.
Howard said he mentioned his favorite songs off the new album and they're so beautiful and meaningful. He said he wants to talk about the song he's going to perform today called ''Shivers.'' It's on his new album ''=.'' Howard asked Ed about that song. Ed said that it's about that spark you feel with someone in that first moment. Howard had him perform the song after that quick explanation.
After he song Howard said that was good. He said he doesn't stop writing good songs. He said he's like a mad genius over there. Ed said he does write a lot. He said he writs a lot of bad ones. He said his manager is there and he knows. Howard said he heard that he wrote 17 versions of that song. Ed said that song was done early in the album process. He said when you write them so early the album shifts in style and production so they change them. He said the final version of that song was made as they were mixing the album down. He said it was about 3 days before it was going to get printed on vinyl. He said that one of his guys were able to take it and make it match the rest of the album. Ed said he loves ''Shape Of You'' but it was tough to put it on that album because it was so different than the rest of the songs. He said it felt out of place. He said now he listens to that album and the album is kind of schizophrenic.
Howard said he's glad he's doing this song ''Bad Habits'' from the album. Ed said he'd like to change that up. He said that song has been out about 5 months now. He said he wrote a song with Johnny during lockdown and they lived there for like 4 months. Howard said he and Johnny are kind of married. Ed said they kind of joke about that. He said he and Johnny have lived together a lot. Howard asked if his wife gets upset about that. Ed said that Johnny kind of keeps to himself. He said he does like his own space. He said his wife, Cherry, loves Johnny. Howard said he has hung out with him and he knows when to leave so he's right about that.
Howard said Ed is going to switch it up but he likes Bad Habits because he wrote about giving up smoking and things. Ed said that's what it is. He said about 3 months before his daughter was born he realized that he was drinking and he had to stop so he'd be ready for his daughter to be born if she came at night. He said that they put on the documentary ''Rattle and Hum'' and at the end he thinks he wasn't allowed back in the house after. He said it was a good send off. He said he won't give him details. He said that was in like June and his daughter was born in August. He said that he was reflecting on that in January. He said that he gets up in the morning and works out now. He said his mornings before were null and void and he'd get up at like 2 in the afternoon. Howard said he and his wife love the mornings too. He said they don't get how people sleep in.
Ed said that the album is called ''='' and it's like getting answers to things that you asked questions of. He said you do things in your life and find out things you like. He said at 17 you think clubs are the greatest and then you go into them and they're shit. Ed said he turned 30 and he had a kid and got married and the questions were being answered. He said he met Howard in 2014 or whenever but he was at his house in 2015 and that was the peak of his drinking. Howard said he was drinking a lot. He said he was smoking a lot too. He said now he's all cleaned up and muscular. He asked if his wife looks at him and thinks he's a whole new man. Ed said there's a fine balance there. He said his wife is in very good shape too. He said she plays hockey and she thinks she liked him with meat on his bones. He said he is up early now and he's doing things in the morning. He said he used to get up at 2 and then go out and play. He said you don't see much sunlight when you do that.
Howard said he read about his tour and how much money they made. He said it was like $643 million. He said that was just Ed standing there with his guitar. He said that's what he likes. Ed said they did have some overhead. He said that money isn't what he sees. He said that he did make a good amount of money but not that much. Ed said he hates to see that kind of stuff. He said it's not what he does it for. He said he isn't making music to make that kind of money. He said they just toured and they were told they beat that record. He said they just went out and toured and then it came to them. He said people think he does it for that but it's just something that comes because he loves doing it so much.
Howard said he couldn't agree more. He said he sees the same kind of thing about himself and he was just doing it for $200 a week when he started out. Ed said he would have done it for free. Howard said yes. He said this is all by accident. He said there is no master plan. He said he didn't expect to make a dime.
Howard asked what song he's going to play. Ed said he did bring up the Springsteen thing and he has a song called ''Overpass Graffiti'' on the album. He did that song for him instead. He went right into the song after telling Howard what he was going to do.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said so much goes into a song. He said he was thinking about a documentary he saw about Bruce Springsteen and they played the original song that he wrote but then they arrange it. Ed said it can change. He said that it was more power ballad before. He said that production ended up changing to what it is now. He said it made the song be two things. He said he can play it in two different ways now. Ed said pop music can be produced in an indie way. He said they have a lot of pop bands in England that are produced in a way that can shift them. Howard said that would be an interesting project to reinterpret songs into something other than what they were. He said you can take a song people respond to into a different genre. Ed said it changes people's perception of it too. He said if he did this song really gentle then you can get other people into it. He said he feels like people can get turned off if they hear it in a certain way. He said it's the underneath production that can make a song.
Ed said that Rick Rubin told him about a band that came in and played some songs that sounded good with guitar and pedals but he told them to play the songs on guitar and piano to hear if there was really something there. He said they had a couple of good songs.
Ed said he finds on this new record that he finds his fan base is hoping for him to make it acoustically. He said it's nice to have different things to try. He said he never wants to get boring. He said Howard might not keep having him on over and over again if he doesn't change. Howard asked if he would ever go in and do two versions of a song on an album. Ed said he's actually going to do it. He said he's going to do the whole album acoustically in one take and put that out.
Howard asked if he thinks he can do that. Ed said the magic is in the first take. He said he learned that over the years. He said that the first vocal he put down for ''Shape Of You'' is the one on the album. He said he is confident that he could do it. He said that he can't do something that's called one take and not do it in one take. He said that's the magic of it. He said you don't want to hear it done over and over. Howard said he loves ''Four Way Street'' because that's Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young doing an album and fucking it up. Ed said he's going to have to check that out.
Howard said he has to ask about this song ''Don't'' that's from an older album. He asked if it's true that the song is about him dating a girl and his friend taking her upstairs and banging her. Ed said that they have all moved on from that. He said he was only 22 at the time and they have all moved on. He said he made lots of mistakes as a kid. He said this is his point about being a kid. He said you make mistakes but you learn. He said he's no angel and Howard is no angel. He said his wife is no angel. Howard said Cherry is an angel.
Ed said his point is that you look back on things you did in your 20s and wonder why you did them.
Howard said he was watching the video for one of his hit songs and the girl he was dancing with was so hot. Ed said that her name was Brittany and she did all of the heavy lifting in the video. He said she's really talented. He said he had to learn how to dance from her. He said that she was doing 95 percent of the work. Howard said he thought it was very sexual. He said that's called dirty dancing. Ed said he just saw that film the other day for the first time.
Ed said that he was never really in his videos until ''Thinking Out Loud.'' He said he'd be in them for like 2 seconds at most. He said that he was in great shape when he did that video. He said that he had to do a lot of work. He said he thinks that the video was good and the song was good. He said that it proved that if he's in his videos that the songs will do better. Ed said he doesn't like the way he looks. Howard said look at his face. He said he looks like he's been in a crash. Ed said he doesn't like to go through the pictures after a photo shoot. He said he doesn't really watch the video. Howard said he relates to that very much. He said that he shot a video with Jane's Addiction and he had them take him out of the video when he saw it. Ed said he tells the photographers not to show him anything. Howard said he tells his wife not to do that. He said she took one of him the other day and he hated it so he told her to delete it. He said it's the most painful thing. He said that he's not sure how you get over that.
Ed said that he thinks everyone is the same. He said they all think they don't look good. Ed said that even the most beautiful people are like that. He said everyone is the same and if you're not, it's a bit weird. Howard said when he saw Ed after working out he thought he was really good looking. He said he told Beth to look at him. He said that he's a sex symbol. He said when you start making it then you become that.
Howard said Ed loves Heinz so much that he wrote a commercial for them. He said he had an idea and he did it for them because he loves them so much. He said they said yes to him and you can see it by just searching for it. Ed said he gets a lot of offers to do big campaigns for big brands. He said he doesn't like the idea of selling anything he doesn't love or believe in. He said he loves ketchup. He said he has a bottle of it in his bag at all times. He said there's also a drink he likes that he would do something for. He said that he made this nice little thing for them and sent it along with a voice message and they got back to him and asked him to do it. Howard said the commercial he did was great. Ed said that is what has happened to him for real. He said that if they refuse to bring you ketchup at a restaurant you don't understand it.
Howard said the guy who created ketchup said that he makes money on the stuff they throw out. He said you pour so much on your plate and that's how they make money.
Ed said that he was told that you hit the bottle on the number 57 to get it to come out. He said that's what he was told. He said that you hit it like a karate chop. Howard said he didn't pull that ketchup out at his house so that was nice. Ed said there's a time and place for that.
Howard thanked Ed for coming on today. He said that he has the new album called ''='' out now. He said that he may play a couple more songs after he lets him go.
Ed thanked Howard for having him on. He said he's so good at interviewing. He said it feels like it flows and it's not bullet pointy. He said wherever he went in America he had people saying ''Love you on Stern!'' so that was great. Howard said that turns him on so much. He said he got a note from Brandi Carlile about the same thing. He said that everyone was telling her that they lived her on Howard Stern. He said he loves musicians and exposing them. Ed said that shows. He said that's why people listen. He said he does so many interviews around the world. He said he knows playing ''Overpass Graffiti'' that it will get noticed. He said it's better than just having it on somewhere.
Howard said he was a lonely kid and he listened to a lot of music. He said these people meant more to him than any religion. He said he's grateful to people. Ed said that music is the only thing that people agree on. He said there are a few people who don't listen to music. He said it finds it strange if they don't listen to music.
Howard gave Ed some more plugs and let him go. He said what a fun guy he is. He said he's such a talent.
Robin said she has to ask Howard about something. She said it has come up a lot lately. She asked what ''atelier'' is because he's brought it up a lot lately. Howard asked the guys what the song was that Ed did as a kid. Jon said that it's Typical Average.'' Howard played the song. He said that song was good but he worked at his craft. Howard said people have to train to be good at things. He said that's what they were saying in the interview today. He went into a long explanation about how people are inspired by things and end up paining in a certain way and everyone learns things in different ways. He said maybe there's a person who didn't have to work hard at it but it's one in a million. He said you're not always born with a talent. Robin asked what this ''atelier'' thing is. Howard said that's when a group of people paint and there's one guy who has a studio. Robins said she wasn't sure what it was. Howard said he may not even be using it right. He said he just uses words and hopes for the best. Robin said she has no idea what that word is. Howard said he could be totally wrong. He said don't rely on him.
Howard said next Tuesday Emily Ratajkowski will be on the show. He said Paul McCartney will be on again on Wednesday. Robin said he must like them if he's coming on again. Howard said he must think they're on the ball.
Robin said that Ed can really nuance songs in interesting ways. She said he's a genius about that stuff. Howard said he had a lot of questions for him. He said they never have enough time.
Howard took a call from a guy doing a French accent saying he was calling in from a French atelier. He was telling Robin that he wants to teach her how to draw him nude. Howard went with the bit for a minute and then bailed.
Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am