Howard said his wife posted a video on her Instagram of a Praying Mantis attacking her. He said that they started reading about them and they say that the female eats the male after they mate. He said she goes over and eats the head of the male and then he fucks her. He said he's able to keep going even after his head is chopped off. He said then she eats the rest of him. He said it's crazy. He said the mother needs the nutrients to make the eggs so that's why she does it. He said in the cold weather they die off anyway. He said he doesn't care what you are but every dude knows they'd still fuck you even if they ate your head off. He said they all love it that much. He said just ask Ronnie. He did his Ronnie impression talking about that. Howard said Mark the Bagger put it the best when he said Pussy is awesome, pussy is the greatest.
Howard wished Robin a happy birthday again. He said he has a bunch of songs that were sent in by the fans. He said he can't play them all but he has a Lil Mikey song parody. He said that he's celebrating the way he knows best by jerking off to her. Howard played the song for Robin.
Howard said Lil Mikey is big creepy. He said it's amazing that the #MeToo movement hasn't affected the song parodies yet. He had another one from Eli Braden. He said Robin is going to have to eat a lot of guy's heads off. Eli's song was about fuckin' Robin's butt.
Howard asked what song that was. Gary said it was ''Just Can't Get Enough.''
Howard said he must have to do physical therapy. Gary said he is walking with a cane but it feels good. He said he's going up and down stairs and stuff but not that much. Gary said they told him not to push it too much. He said he has to ice it every other hour for 20 minutes and sit with his leg elevated for an hour 3 times a day. Howard said they call him Rtooth Dtooth.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked who reached out to him post operation. He wanted to know if anyone reached out. Howard said he did and Gary didn't even mention that. Howard said he reached out before. He didn't want to bug him after so he left him alone.
Jason said he called Gary to ask who reached out to him and he never mentioned Howard. Howard said he emailed and called him. Gary said Howard did reach out. Howard said he thought it was very thoughtful for someone as narcissistic as he is. He said he had to take time away from himself which was hard. He said he almost didn't call since he blocked him on Facebook. Gary said Howard is a friend.
Gary said he heard from Ronnie a few times during the whole thing. He said they have been talking a lot during this COVID thing. He said they talked about 4 times before the operation. He said Mary said that Ronnie is like a poodle stuck in a bulldog's body. Howard said Ronnie thinks people are saying negative things about him when they're not.
Howard said Ronnie and Jason reached out to him. Gary said Howard is on that list too. He said JD may have texted him. He said people were very nice. Howard said he wouldn't want a call from JD but a text would be fine.
Howard said he gets annoyed when people ask if he's doing okay during COVID-19. Robin said the checking in is getting on everyone's nerves. Howard said it really is. He said he's really annoyed by the ''stay safe'' that everyone sends. He said that's bullshit.
Gary said he got a vibe that Howard was craving human contact about a month ago. Howard laughed and asked what it was. Robin said he was saying it. She said he said he misses going out with friends to dinner. Howard said he really doesn't miss that. He said he doesn't really like going out. He said he doesn't drink and everyone else does. He said the good thing about the pandemic is that he doesn't have to deal with that bullshit anymore.
Howard said he was reading an article about how strangers are good for your mental health. He said it said that people might say good morning when you walk down the street or someone you don't know very well says hello. He said he was reading this article and he was thinking maybe this is an important thing that he's not getting. He said he was thinking that he was pushing away his needs. He said it has worked for him but maybe he hasn't gotten that connection. He said it's good and it's bad. He said when someone goes he's like ''Ehh, fuck 'em.''
Howard said when he would go to the building where SiriusXM is he'd get in the elevator with Otis and Keith and he'd talk to them a little bit. He said it was a 2 minute interaction. He said it was kind of funny to hear what was on their minds. He said that's the kind of interaction you don't get. He said you need it according to this article. Robin asked how they know what you need. Howard said Robin is another narcissist over there.
Howard said he was reading about this Ellen Degeneres thing over vacation and he was thinking that his staff shouldn't be looking at him so much. He said he was thinking about Ellen and he likes her. He said that he doesn't work for her so he doesn't know what goes on over there. He said when they take her off the air they're taking away a lot of jobs. He said Ellen will be fine. He said if those people want to keep working then they shouldn't take the show away. Robin said they have another investigation going on over there.
Howard said he likes Ellen. He said he wrote about her in his book and she overcame a lot. He said everyone abandoned her and she made a comeback. He said he can't tell you what goes on in her workplace. He said he knows what's going on where he works and he hires people who walk all over him. He said if he were a writer he'd rather have Ellen sit with him and ask if he wants a job or no job. He said he'd want a job.
Robin said she can't get it straight if it's Ellen or the people who were running the show. Howard said she's not sitting there with them and she's not running the whole thing over there. He said his problem is that Benjy has been late 900 times and there are zero consequences. He said he gets abused in the workplace. He said his staff won't shut the fuck up when they get a hold of him.
Robin said they said this about Steve Harvey too. Howard said he has thought a lot about that. He said he'd like to put an edict out like that. He said he could never say that to someone not to look at him. He said he remembers when they worked in the studio that outside his door people would congregate outside his door. He said he'd be exhausted after the show and he just wanted to rest in his office. He said these people were having a party outside his door. He said he wondered why grey weren't working.
Gary said Howard 100 News would be waiting for him out there. He said Penny Crone was one of them and she'd be there asking questions about him buying a ring for Beth.
Howard said Medicated Pete who he loves would be out there. He said he'd be standing there and his job was to change CDs for the show to be recorded on. He said he'd say hi to Pete and they'd go back and forth with that. He said he was trying to figure out what the Ellen thing was.
Howard said there are people you want to get rid of but you can't because you're loyal. He said it's weird to read about Ellen. He said maybe they'll cancel her show or maybe she'll walk away. He said he'd hate to see that. He said the staff should sit with her and they should decide from there. Robin said this sounds like a marriage breaking up. She said once you pull that apart it may not be comfortable for Ellen to got to work. Howard said she'll have to go around asking how everyone is doing there. He said she'll be so fucking nice she'll have to jump in a river. Howard said Ellen will have to ask the staff if they want to dance. He said she'll have to have the DJ come over there. Robin said even one of the DJs was complaining.
Howard said he looks at Ellen like she's a philanthropist and she does a lot of good. Robin said maybe she was too nice away from the show. She said that people thought that wasn't the person they work for. Howard said he'd get on and just be a prick now. He said now she can show them what a real prick is.
Robin said they used to have to try to get out of the office without him seeing them but he was right outside the office.
Howard said this guy was Goff and it was short for Godfrey. He said the guy was the president of his fraternity and he spent time in Korea in the Army.
Howard said the other guy who died was the guy who was in Private Parts. He said he was in Seinfeld too. He said his name was Reni Santoni. He said he was great. Robin said she loved him. Howard said this guy was a great actor.
Howard interrupted and took a call from a guy who said he remembers him talking about Sylvester Stallone not wanting people to look at him. He said of course people are going to look at Howard. Howard asked if he has any comprehension. The caller said he has a masters in special education. He said he's pretty smart. The caller said he put in the work and he is smart. Howard said he must be learning disabled. He said he's on the air talking about how his whole staff looks him in the eye and abuses him. He said he never said his staff can't look him in the eye. He said he has to spell it out for this guy. He said he would kill for one smart fan. He said he went on the air and said he likes the idea of not letting people look him in the eye because his whole staff looks him in the eye.
Howard said this guy thinks that he said he doesn't let his staff look him in the eye. He said he has to get smarter fans. He said he has to ban this guy from listening. The caller, Jim, said he has been listening a long time and he can't ban him. Howard said he doesn't get the show.
Howard asked if there is one person who went to Harvard who listens to the show. He said this guy went to D'Youville College. He said he's never heard of that. The caller said he put in the work there even if he never heard of it. Howard said he enjoyed college and it was fine but he looks at his life and career and it's amazing to him that the level of listeners he attracts isn't that high. He said something is going on.
Gary said he's looking at D'Youville online. He asked Jim if he went there or did he do his classes online. Jim said he went there and he became a Special Ed teacher. Howard said this guy can't understand what he said on the air.
Howard said this guy called up to criticize him. Howard said he never said he has any edicts about looking at him. He said it's the opposite. Jim said he's glad he explained that. Howard asked Jim how he teaches if he can't comprehend that.
Howard asked what's wrong with these kids that he has to teach them. He said he's sure they could teach him something. Howard said this is like the blind leading the blind. Jim said they're mostly ADHD. He said he has dyslexia himself. Howard said he could tell. He said he heard the opposite of what he said. He said he has dyslexia of the ears.
Howard said Jim hears the opposite of what's said. Jim thanked him for clarifying what he said. Howard said he has to listen more carefully. Jim said he's been listening since the Lesbian Love Connection. Howard said ah yes. He said that was his greatest accomplishment.
Jim told Robin to shut up before Howard let him go. He said that she has that fake personality. Robin said he's a very interesting man. Robin said she's not feeling well today. She said she plays a character and she feels fine on the air. Howard said he didn't even know that. Robin said when she comes in she didn't say she's not feeling well. She said she doesn't feel well today but no one knew that. Howard said now he's feeling sad. He asked if it's COVID. Robin said no.
Howard let Jim go and said he has to get back to Robin's birthday. He said he had those two songs he played already. He said there were others that came in. He said Robin had admitted to smelling her own vagina before COVID-19 happened. Robin said they had dropped that. Howard said he saw a bunch more had come in. He played a clip of Robin talking about how she smells her own vagina. Howard said that was a simpler time. He said his point was that they get new songs about her sniffing herself. Robin said she thought COVID had knocked that out.
Howard said they have one from Constantine Maroulis from American Idol. Howard played the song from Constantine.
Gary corrected Howard on the pronunciation of Maroulis. Howard said that he's going with Morales even if he says it's Maroulis.
Howard said this might be the best of all. He said they got a sexy message for Robin's birthday. He said he's a 3 time major league all star and a champion. He said he's also a master of pussy eating. He said he's the one and only Lenny Dykstra. He said he he's laying in bed giving her a sexy message. He played that for Robin and they had the video playing for her. Robin laughed through the whole thing. Lenny took his teeth out for her and got angry with her by the end of it.
Howard said they'll put that up online. He said you have to see Lenny laying there in bed with his shirt off. He said he has a little tittie there but who doesn't. He said Robin is a queen and everyone is wishing her a happy birthday. He played her a birthday song.
Robin said Gary went on Cameo and got her a video from Penn Jillette. She said Gary gave him a bunch of information about her and she had no idea he was talking about her. Robin said he had a bunch of things about her in there.
Howard said Reni Santoni had one of the funniest scenes in Seinfeld. He said Jerry is there in the bathroom and Reni's character is a restaurant owner and he comes out of the stall after taking a shit and he thanks him for coming to his restaurant. He said he didn't wash his hands so Jerry is freaking out. He said they cut to him and you see Reni making a pizza rubbing his hands in the dough. He said Jerry is watching and Reni comes over with the pizza and Jerry refuses to eat it. He said the girl is eating it and you want to throw up. He said that was Reni on Seinfeld. He said his name was Poppy on the show. He said next time he comes over with Kramer and Poppy pees on his couch. He said Jerry's couch is ruined and Kramer tell him he can clean it.
Howard said he did a scene with Reni in Private Parts. He said he was doing this scene and thought about how slow he was talking. He said he went back and watched the dailies and he was perfect. He said he thought it was too slow but it was perfect. He said that Reni was in Dirty Harry too. He talked about how good he was in that. Howard said Reni died and he was sorry to read that. He said he was going to write a letter to Betty Thomas because she was dating him at the time. Howard said he didn't write her the note. He said he wasn't sure if that was appropriate.
Howard said Reni was a good guy. He said rest in peace to him and Gof too. Howard said he had some kids. He said he remembers begin hauled into Gof's office and being yelled at. He said a lot of sponsors weren't going to stick with the show and he wasn't too thrilled with that.
Howard said Elizabeth Hurley looks great. He said she was rejected by Hugh Grant. He said she is one of the best looking women in the world and he went out and got a blow job from a hooker. He said it's like hew wanted to get away from her. He said she's so good looking but he had to get away from her. He said maybe she's a pain in the ass, he doesn't know. He said he remembers thinking how magnificent looking she was at the time. He said Hugh had to get a blow job from a hooker in a car where everyone could see him.
Howard said there are some women who defy age. Robin said it catches up to them eventually. Howard said he went sour at the age of 13. He said he's not sure what else to say about that. He said he's not sure what her end game is other than showing Hugh Grant what he missed out on.
Howard said his wife just came in. He said she looks so cute. Beth asked if he made the bed. Howard said he did. Beth showed Howard what happened to Rachel Ray's house. She said that they got her pets out. She said that she's waiting to hear back from her. She said she's so upset about the whole thing. Howard said Rachel is so great.
Beth said she reposted the Praying Mantis video on her Instagram. She said it's the first one up there today.
Howard told Beth that he was talking about Elizabeth Hurley. He said Beth looks amazing in a bathing suit too. He said there are certain women who can defy age. He said Mike was asking what the end game is for her. Howard said he has no idea but he loves seeing the human body. He said that they love watching My 600 Pound life.
Mike said he was wondering if Beth is even a human being because she doesn't age. He asked if she's a sex doll. Beth said she is a sex doll.
Howard said they say that Rachel Ray and her dog are safe. Beth said that's good. She asked if he needs anything. Howard said he's trying to think. He said here are a bunch of things. Beth said Howard's hair looks good. Howard said he's on a roll. He said he hasn't had a hair cut in 5 months. Beth said he's all tan and toned too. Howard said she's lucky to be locked up with him.
Howard asked Beth if he can talk about Shallow Hal. Beth said she told him that she didn't want to talk about that on the air. Howard said he won't do it then. He said everyone who listens to music hears the wrong thing in a song at some point. Howard said he has done it. Beth said she smells bad. She said she's sweating. Howard asked to smell her. He said she does not smell. Beth said she smells it.
Howard said he wants her to smell sometimes. He said she has to shower if they're going to have sex. Howard said she doesn't smell now. Beth said she does. Beth told him to tell the dumb story. Howard said no because he doesn't want to bum her out. Howard said he thought it was cute but no one will know now.
Howard said he was singing to their cats and he was singing that Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper song ''Shallow.'' He said it's such a dumb story. He said Beth thought the lyrics had something to do with Shallow Hal. He said the lyrics sound like that. He said he had to tell her it had nothing to do with it.
Howard had Fred play the music from the song and he sang it to Beth. Robin sang the Lady Gaga part of the song.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Beth asked him not to talk about that on the air but he did it anyway. Howard said he knows. He asked if he's in trouble. Beth said she's going to faint again. She said that she has to go upstairs because the air conditioning guy is coming. Beth said she loves Howard. Howard said he loves her very much and she's going to get something special tonight. Beth asked if she should leave the door open. Howard told her he told that story about the Praying Mantis earlier. He let her go a short time later.
Howard said he knows he fucked up with that story. He said he can't help it when someone says that he can't tell a story. The caller said he owes her something. He said that it's not sex. Howard said he gets it. Howard said Karen is being a real Karen right now.
Howard said his favorite version of that song Shallow is this. He played a parody about Robin to the tune of that song. Howard said he loves that one.
Howard was correct on the term being a Karen came from. Gary said it wasn't the woman in the park who called the cops on the black guy. He said it's a generic term for a white woman apparently. Howard said that's a lame story.
Howard said a story about a guy losing his penis to a blood infection and they grew him a new one on his arm. Howard said he didn't see how big it was. Robin said she saw enough to know it was pretty big. Howard said this is so unbelievable that he wants to grow one. He said it must work. He said they're going to attach it to his groin. He said maybe just leave it on his arm. Howard asked if that new penis is circumcised. Robin said she doesn't know.
Howard said he's not sure why it's blurred out in every news report. He said it should be shown. He said that every man should be able to see what the possibilities are. Howard said the news outlets are reporting it like it's nothing. He said it's a break through. Robin said it's not going to work like a real one. She said it will have to have pumps in it. Howard wondered if he's going to suck it since it's right here on his arm. He said he would take it and jerk off into his armpit.
Howard said he hopes they put this technology into warp speed. He said he would take two of those cocks.
Howard said in non-cock related news fat people are more susceptible to COVID-19. He said that they knew that already. He said they say if you're unhealthy that you'll have a bad reaction to things. He said thanks for telling him that. He said the big news is that the vaccine may not be effective for fat people. Robin asked why that is. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's going to college and he's suppose to go back to the campus in the fall. Howard asked where he's going. The caller said he's going to Virginia. Howard said he thinks that school is a good one.
The caller, Josh, said he's 21 years old and he wants to live his life. He said he's been at home for the past 5 months. Howard said he wants to say something to people his age. He said he knows he wants to get out and live his life. He said he knows it's been tough for people. He said he's not sure how he's done it. He said he wanted to get away from his parents and went to college.
Howard said his mom called him the other day. He went into his impression of her talking to him about his father and things like that.
Howard said if it was up to him he wouldn't go to the classes. He said he would take them online. He said no one interacted with him in college. He said he would have loved to have been able to take them online. Howard said he had his buddy Dr. Lou there so he was lucky there. He said he had no friends or associates. He said he would go to his room and sit there all weekend. He said he would go to the campus radio station and that was it. He said people treated him like he had an infectious disease. He said that's why his wife is so meaningful to him. He said he would not set foot in a classroom under any circumstance.
Howard said we have to get this whole thing under control before they can have classes. He said everyone is going kablooey and there is no guidance out there. He said that even people his age are dying from this thing. He told Josh to take the classes online if he can. Robin said she feels for him.
Howard said the experts are saying we have to do a countrywide shutdown to get rid of this thing. He said that we would have been done with it if we had done this early on. He said we have to get it done. He said we can do it because we are Americans. He said it requires people working together to make it happen. He told Josh that they have to protect themselves and just wait it out.
Gary said his son is leaving for school today. He said this is a 5 times a day conversation. He said some kids can't do the online learning. Gary said his son has a hard time with the online learning. Howard said put him on with him and he'll straighten him out. Gary said you have to show up with a test and they say they are going to do rapid testing every day. Howard asked if that's Lucas. Gary said it is. Howard said he has to stay home there with him. Gary said he won't. Howard said this is ridiculous. Gary said they're trying. He said Lucas is kind of like Howard and doesn't spend time with people. Howard told him to put him on with him. Robin said imagine he had to spend another year with his parents. Howard said he would do it.
Lucas came in and got on Gary's microphone. Howard said he doesn't think he should go to college. Lucas said they don't think it will last very long but they will do classes online up in Syracuse. Howard said he knows who his friends are. He said these kids are dopes. He said they don't know what they're doing and they're going to get him sick. He said they can't risk that. Howard said if he were Lucas he'd stay home and take his class online. He said wait until after the election when they get this thing under control. He said why risk your life.
Howard said he can put up with his dad. Lucas said he was talking to his dad and his mom and brother are easy to live at home with. He said he has friends who have lives that aren't ideal at home. He said it's been nice at home but he thinks going somewhere else and hanging out with a small group of people is okay. He said there's that chance that some idiot will got to a frat party and spread it to 100 other kids. He said there are 23,000 students up there and 100 cases will shut it down.
Howard said the country is direction less right now. He said he wants him to hold on through the November election. He said that he's his real father. Lucas said that must be where the height comes from. Howard said he must protect himself. He said the other kids aren't going to be careful. He said he doesn't want to see anything bad happen to him. He said take his advice or leave it. He also told Lucas that Robin is his mother. He said they gave him to Gary to raise him.
Howard said that's his advice to Lucas. Lucas said he has to be as careful as he can and just stay away from everyone. He said he did request to have his classes online. He said he'll be in the apartment doing that. He said that age range for college is the range that gets people in trouble.
Howard asked if he has a girlfriend. Lucas said not up in Syracuse. He said he has one in Hoboken. Howard said that's good. He said you can't be with girls during COVID. Lucas said it is dangerous. Robin said it's a tough time. Howard said stay healthy. Robin said if it gets too dicey up there then come home. Lucas said he will. He said he'll hang out in Howard's cat room.
Howard asked if he wants the talk about contraception. Lucas said he should be okay. He said his girlfriend will be a couple hundred miles away. Howard let Lucas go a short time later. He said be safe and stay home.
Howard said what a nice kid that is. He told Gary he's lovely. Gary said he said something to him yesterday that almost made him cry. He said they were talking about that Kathy Valentine book and he was telling Lucas about that and Lucas said to him that he really appreciates that he could have unloaded all of that shit he had with his mom and didn't do that to him and Jackson. Howard said that's nice.
Howard said Gary raised a beautiful son. He sang that to him as some piano music was playing. Robin said she's watching Gary's face during this and it's so uncomfortable. She said it's like Mike Douglas singing to people in the audience.
Howard said he wants Lucas to stay home but he sees he won't listen. Gary said he is a man and they can't make him do it. He said they tried to tell him to stay there. He said he thinks he'll be back. Howard asked if they knew he had a girl stashed in Hoboken. Gary said they didn't know she was that far away. He said they thought she was closer. Gary said they tell him to be careful and he says he is.
Howard said Gary is paying the bills so he can tell him what to do. He said he's not a man until he pays his own bills.
Howard asked Gary if he wanted him to stay home. Gary said they suggested it. He said they held off paying for college until the last minute. He said they were saying they would eat the apartment until December if they had to. He said he thinks that Lucas will get up there and find out it's not exciting to do classes online from the apartment. He said he is pretty self sufficient. He said he can do a lot on his own. Howard said he and Mary did a good job raising him. He said Gary didn't fuck that up.
Santa said he has 12 elves on ventilators as they speak. He said that he's sorry of he's not shooting egg nog out of his dick hole. Howard said he thinks they got it. He asked if they should go on with this. Robin said she thinks grey get that Christmas is canceled. Robin thanked him for bumming them out. The guys kept going with the bit.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if Lucas' girlfriend was black and would Gary care if she was. Gary said she is not but he would not care if she was. King said sure he wouldn't. He said that there's nothing wrong with that but a black woman will treat a white guy much better than a black guy. Howard said it would have been great if Gary got on and said he had to disown his son if he was dating a black woman. King said Gary is such a bullshitter. Howard said he has to say that he has never heard a racist word from Gary and he really doesn't think he would care. King said he doesn't know that though. Howard said you know in your heart if you would be upset.
Howard said he has to go pee. He let King go. He said he must have heard that the girl lived in Hoboken and thought she must be black. He said that he jumped to the conclusion that Gary would be upset. Howard said he has to pee so bad. Gary said he genuinely doesn't care. He said he's not sure what would upset him about it. Robin said she was saying that when she watched that movie ''Guess Who's Coming to Dinner'' the father was a liberal and he was shocked at his own reaction when his daughter brought home a black man. Gary said that movie was in 1961. Howard said all of the white people in his neighborhood moved out when black people moved in. He said they all thought they would be fine but they all ran.
Gary said his wife said she only had one black family in her high school. Howard said Beth only had on in her school too. He said he can't imagine that. Robin said she was that one black person in her school. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has to get to Debbie the Cum Lady and more. He said he'll be right back. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he should be playing Beastie Boys. He played ''So What'cha Want'' and said this is such a great song. He said that he doesn't think he appreciated them enough when they came on the scene. He said he had them in the studio and he didn't take it seriously. He said it was goofy and a waste of time. He said that's another regret he has. He said he wishes he could have gotten all three of them in there again.
Howard asked Robin if she's a Beastie Boys fan. Robin said she is. Howard said he was talking about how his regret is having them in there and he didn't take it seriously. He said he wishes he could go back in time and do it over again. He said he loves that show The Umbrella Academy. He said they go back in time. He said he watched season 1 and now he's ready for season 2. He said Beth saw Ellen Page in the show and she was shocked that she's doing that show. Howard said there's nothing wrong with her doing that. He said it's acting.
Howard said he loves this song. He let the Beastie Boys song play a little more. He said that he saw a documentary about them. He said the two living guys were on talking about their career. Robin said she watched a documentary about Iceberg Slim. Howard said he doesn't even know who that is. Robin said he was the guy who wrote novels about being a pimp. She said that's where all of the pimp stuff that everyone talks about came from.
Howard said tomorrow they have Joey King coming on the show. He said that he's excited about that. He said she's in Kissing Booth 1 and 2. He said he loves that. He said he loves the movie and people laugh at him. Robin said now she has to watch the movie. Howard said at least the first one. He said any day now he may get his period. He said Joey will be with them tomorrow. He said she's a great actress. He said she's in that Patricia Arquette show ''The Act.'' He said she was great in that. He said she has to have won an Emmy for that. Robin said she's not sure she did. Jon Hein said she did not win but she was nominated. Howard said she was robbed. Jon said she did deserve to win. Gwen Verdon came up during that discussion.
Howard said he used to beat off to Gwen Verdon. He said that she'd come out in a one piece bathing suit with high heels on and dance. He said sometimes she'd strip down to a leotard and he'd beat off to his spank bank in his head. He said that was his whole childhood.
Howard said Kissing Booth was not a great script but Joey King elevated it to the point that he had to watch it. Robin said that doesn't take much. Howard said Joey took a mediocre script and made it great. Robin said she knows that what Howard thinks is great isn't always great. She said she's sure she's a great actress because she did see her in The Act. She said she'll have to see what this Kissing Booth is all about. Howard said he'll probably have to watch Kissing Booth 2 again before tomorrow.
Howard said he was watching this documentary that David Arquette sent him. He said it's called You Can't Kill David Arquette. He said he's really into professional wrestling. He said he's in the middle of it and it's fascinating. He said he's not sure where it's coming out but it's really weird. He said he really wants to be a wrestler. He said he's really skinny though. He said he gets the shit beat out of him when he goes to do this wrestling thing. He said he likes it.
Howard said a lot of fans wrote in about Seth Rogen. He said people liked Robin week on Howard 101. He said a lot of fans wrote in about that. He read through some of that feedback. He read some feedback about Sour Shoes and the update they got about him before vacation.
Howard said he loves Sour but there's a reason they can't hire him there. He said he's difficult but he doesn't mean to be. He said their producer Derek tried to work with Sour on fixing his Sirius radio. He said they had to set up an antenna and Sour left them a voicemail in the middle of this. He said you call him and it's just fucking crazy. Howard played the clip of Sour talking to Derek and leaving them a message at the same time. He mentioned Richie Beilenson who he was never in contact with.
Derek said that Sour had to climb on his roof to get to the antenna so he was out there doing this. Howard said he was out the window with the antenna. Derek said Sour never goes in a straight line so he was all over the place. He said anything you ask him to do takes 4 hours.
Howard said they asked Sour to turn his camera horizontally but he just kept singing a Scorpions song. Howard played audio of that moment. Derek was asking him to turn his camera and Sour kept singing. They eventually got him to turn his camera. Derek said sometimes if you say Michael then it snaps him out of it.
Howard said they have tried everything with Sour. He said this shows how hard it is to work with him. He said the guys asked him to show them his bathtub and he just kept singing. Sour said okay to the tub thing but then he played a song instead.
Howard said it takes a lot of man hours to get this guy under control. Derek said he's a force of nature and very hard to control. Howard said they were trying to Zoom with him and there was echo so he wasn't able to concentrate. Howard said he was gone as soon as he heard the echo. Howard played another clip of Sour taking advantage of the echo and singing songs that had echo in them.
Howard said this is what goes on behind the scenes. He said when they say it's difficult to wrangle Sour Shoes this is what they're talking about. He said they just can't control him.
Derek said before the shutdown they had Sour Shoes coming in and they had him in a hotel room and they had to go pick him up. He said he had a ton of equipment he brought with him. He said it was out of control.
Howard played another clip of the guys trying to explain the equipment to Sour and Sour was doing voices and singing songs. He was doing his Gary impression too. Derek said he's a maniac.
Howard said Sour is on the phone and they can see video of him in the pool. Derek said he spent an hour trying to get that to work yesterday. He said you have to do that sonar voice that he does to get his attention sometimes.
Howard picked up on Sour and saw him in the pool. Sour was singing and doing his Imus impression. Howard tried to get his attention but Sour kept singing. Howard said the pool water is great. Sour went into his Jackie the Joke Man impression. Sour was in the water with his keyboard doing all of this.
Howard talked to Sour as Jackie. Sour Jackie told some jokes like Jackie would tell. Howard asked him to show of how funny he is. Sour did the Jackie thing and threw in his Gary impression too. Sour had Howard cracking up. Sour was doing the Jackie voice unless something that sounded like ''noine'' came up. Then he'd go into the Gary voice.
Sour went full Gary and did that voice for a short time. Sour Gary was talking about Charro and some stuff like that. Howard asked if Sour is eating in his pool. Sour said he has his oatmeal there. He talked in another one of his voices and then went back to his Gary voice. Howard said he's had enough of that and let him go.
Derek said they fill the pool with rain water so that might be why it's green. Howard said Sour is in there with a floatie with his keyboard on it. He said he won't stay on camera even though he knows where it is. He said the pool is a green color and it's very unusual. Robin said he really shouldn't be in there. Derek said there are many things he shouldn't be doing.
Howard took a call from a woman who said this is the best thing that has happened to her. She said talking to Howard is outrageous. She asked if he remembers going to a Billy Joel concert on New Years Eve. Howard said he does. The caller said she was there in the front row and she exploded when she saw Howard there. Howard said he remembers seeing her explode. He said sometimes they hand out tickets to random people so the artist doesn't have to see rich people sitting in the front row. He said this caller must be hot. She said she's 57 but she might be hot for her age. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a teacher and she wanted to thank him for advocating the remote learning. She said she's not sure how things are going to go and people are calling them lazy for not going back to work. Robin said that if you can't make people wear a mask then you can't force someone to go risk their lives at work.
Howard said hopefully after this election things will get under control. He said we need leadership to help get this thing under control.
Howard said he was thinking about Ellen too and how they have to work it out with her staff. He said that the kids going to school is going to lead to spreading this virus to kids, their parents and the teachers. He said use common sense in these situations. Robin said it's not common sense when it's so uncommon.
Howard said he has to thank Gardein (today's show sponsor) because they had it last night. He talked about the food he and Beth made last night. He said it was like a hamburger sandwich. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about their meals. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was thinking about Billy Corgan and wondering how he's doing during quarantine.
Robin said she heard Meg Griffin on the Beatles channel and she found something to play on there. She said it wasn't even The Beatles. She said it was from the band that Ringo played in before the Beatles and it was terrible. Howard said that's Meg. He said she'll find something that's completely unplayable. He said the woman is addicted to horrible music. He said she has broken more records and introduced more artists so she's great that way but he hears those songs that no one has ever heard. He said it's just crazy. The guys played the song that they were talking about.
Howard said he was listening to this Smashing Pumpkins song the other day. It's called ''Rocket.'' He played some of that for Robin. Robin said it sounds sort of familiar. Howard said it's a great song. He said this is so good and he loves it.
Howard said he's been talking about this Debbie the Cum Lady thing. He said it's kind of vile if you have a weak stomach. He said you can change the channel if you don't want to hear it. He said that this Debbie is a self professed cum whore. He said she's obsessed with drinking semen. He said she wants to drink High Pitch Erik's semen. He said she's a nice looking woman too.
Howard said Debbie likes to go around drinking guy's semen. Robin said she even has people send her condoms full of it. Howard played a clip of Debbie talking about why she wants to drink High Pitch Erik's semen. She thinks he's a real man even with that high voice of his.
Howard said Erik is always thinking about guys and what he'd like to do with them. He said they came up with this idea to ask Erik who he would pick, Chris Wilding or Debbie the Cum Lady. He said they got Erik on the phone and they asked who should blow Erik and why. Howard played the bit where Sal was on the line with Debbie, Erik and Chris. Sal asked Debbie to tell Erik why he should choose her to suck his cock. Then they had Chris do the same. They both had their reasons for why he should pick them.
Howard said that Chris took a swing at Debbie during the conversation. Chris said that he was disgusted with her saying she freezes loads. He said a true cum lover would never do that. Debbie said she can't get enough of it and she has to keep drinking and drinking it. She said she will keep going with Erik. Chris said he would never disrespect Erik by freezing his loads. Howard said that's the first time he threw up listening to this.
Howard played a clip of Erik asking Debbie if she would do it without a strap on. Debbie said she would and she's thinking about his cock right now. She said she would use her fingers and tongue. Chris banged his cock on the phone and said his cock is wet just thinking about blowing Erik.
Robin asked how all of this came about. Howard said he thinks Erik wants a dildo in his ass. He asked Sal if he's right. Sal said it is something Erik has thought about. Howard said in the debate Debbie the Cum Lady was talking about fucking him in the ass and Chris was saying he'd use his real dick. Sal said exactly.
Howard said Chris and Debbie got into this whole thing and that was confusing Erik. He played another clip where Chris said he has a 3 load minimum at his house. He said he won't let a guy leave until he's done it at least 3 times. Debbie said she gives leg massages and things like that. Chris said he makes sure that he gets every last drop by nibbling on it from the base to the tip. Erik said he's not sure what to say.
Howard said Erik's mind was blown by this. He said Erik asked Debbie to pretend she was gargling his cum. He said get ready to throw up. Howard played the clip and Chris was the one who pretended to gargle Erik's cum. Debbie talked about what she'd do to Erik and Chris said he'd garble both of their cums together. Debbie would say something and Chris would try to outdo her. Erik just said ''Wow'' when he'd hear all of this.
Howard said all of this is leading up to who will win the contest, Chris or Debbie. Howard had some closing arguments to play. He said each one was trying to outdo the other. Howard played the clip and Chris was talking about who has the best tasting load. She said Italians. Chris said it's actually Asians.
Howard asked Robin who she thinks Erik is going to pick. Robin said Erik has experiences with Chris and he hears Debbie but he's never experienced her. She said he will go with Chris. Howard said that's an interesting vote. He said he knows the answer so he won't vote.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just vomited all over his pants and truck because of this. He said he thinks he'll pick Debbie the cum queen. Howard said when he was listening to this he thought he was going to vomit. Sal said he loved it.
Howard said this decision wasn't easy or Erik. He played a clip of Erik making his decision which was to go with Debbie the Cum Lady. Chris said he thinks that she's an enthusiast and not a cum slut. Debbie disagreed. Howard said he thinks she was chosen because Erik has been with Chris and he never put out. He said he knows Debbie is really going to do something. He said he knows. He said that's what was working against Chris.
Howard said Debbie and Erik had phone sex after that. He said this is the crescendo. He said they were all excited so grey had phone sex after. He said that Erik must not have any idea how sex works so he wasn't making much sense. Howard played the clip and Erik said he wanted to tittie fuck her and put a vibrator in her vagina. He said he wanted to do foreplay with her too. He said he wanted to be the bottom. Howard said Erik doesn't get what's going on. Sal was cracking up.
Howard said he lays in bed at night worrying that with COVID-19 that Erik is going to get it and die. He said he's running around driving and all of that. He said he said to the guys that it's so terrible that they're going to lose these guys. He said that Bigfoot is running around too. He wondered who will get it first. Robin said it's pretty amazing that no one has gotten it yet.
Howard asked where Sal got this adjuster from. Sal said he found him through a friend. He said this guy tells you what the damages are so you know what you'll get from the insurance company. He said that it's going to cost like $1000 to remove the tree. He said it was about 25 feet high and 13 inches in circumference. He said it completely destroyed his back yard. He said a tree fell on his front fence too.
Howard said an insurance adjuster is on the phone and he says that it's the neighbor's responsibility. He said he writes insurance all the time and that's the way it goes. He told Sal to check with his insurance company. Sal said he did and they told him it's on him. Howard said if you want to see Sal's back yard they can put that up on social media.
Howard said he worries about the Wack Pack because they're doing things that are dangerous. He said High Pitch Erik is flying to California to visit friends. He said you're supposed to quarantine after that but Erik doesn't follow that. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Erik about flying out to California to visit friends. He was out there in early July. Shuli asked him about the quarantine and Erik said he can go out for medication if he has to. Then in another clip Erik wanted to hang out with Shuli and smoke some weed. Erik said he would come over next week to do that. He wasn't following the quarantine.
Howard said Mark the Bagger isn't taking proper precautions either. He played a clip of Mark the Bagger talking to Wolfie about quarantine. Mark had been out to the beach after saying he was social distancing.
Howard said they wanted to find out if the Wack Pack would go out to a maskless party if they were going to get paid. He said that they called each of them to find out what they would do. Howard asked Robin if she thinks Erik would go. Robin said yes. Howard played the clip of Shuli talking to Erik about that and Erik saying he would do that. He was even up for doing it if there was a kissing booth there.
Howard said they asked Jeff the Drunk the same thing. Robin said he's going to say yes too. Howard played the clip and Jeff said no thanks to the party bus.
Howard said they went to Medicated Pete next. Robin said he'll say yes. Howard played the clip and Pete was all for it. He was ready to get on the party bus and do the kissing booth thing. Then his mom got on and said there is no way he's going to do that. She said they are staying in. Howard asked how old Pete is that his mom has to step in. Robin said he's like 40.
Howard asked if Bobo has any common sense. Robin said she thinks he'll say no. Howard played the clip of Bobo saying no way to that. He said that would be like suicide. Howard said he likes that Bobo said that would put him in ''arm's way.''
Howard asked if Robin thinks Gary the Conqueror would go. Robin said she's going to say that he will probably say yes. Howard played the clip and Sal asked Gary if he would do this party bus thing. Gary was coughing and Sal asked if he has been tested for Corona. Gary said he doesn't have it. Sal asked Gary about the party and if he would go. Gary said yes immediately. He was all for the kissing booth too. Gary said he's not worried about catching the virus. He said he doesn't give a shit.
Howard said there you go. He said he's wondering who the first Wack Packer will be to get it. He said that he can't afford to lose anymore Wack Packers.
Howard took a call from another insurance adjuster who said Sal is wrong. He said he's not sure who he called but he has to check again. He said the insurance company should send someone out there to take care of it for him. The caller said that he should just be responsible for the deductible. Sal said his adjuster told him his neighbor is not responsible. Howard said he's sorry to hear about his back yard. He said that's it for today. He said Joey King is coming tomorrow and Metallica on Wednesday. Robin said she's off to watch Kissing Booth 1 and 2 now. Howard said that's enough for today. He ended the show around 10:25am.
Howard started the show talking about Robin having her eye makeup on again today. Robin said this is her regular eye makeup. Howard said she looks god. He said she should have been in Cardi B's new video. Robin said she heard she's getting some flack for putting one of the Kardashians in it. Howard said Kylie is in it. He said the song is Wet Ass Pussy or something like that. He said it's WAP and that's what it stands for. He said the clean version is Wet And Gushy. He said that sounds even dirtier than the other. He said it sounds like a song parody written about Robin. He said he watched the video to see what the controversy was about. He said it's Cardi B and another woman walking around in one piece bathing suits. He said you can see their titties. He said in the middle of the song Kylie Jenner walks out. He said she's supposed to be wet and it's supposed to be a black woman portrayed in the song but it's a white woman who comes out. He said that's what the controversy is about. Robin said Cardi wrote the song and she had Kylie come on the video so why are people complaining? Howard said the whole country is falling apart and there is no leadership and the infrastructure is going away.
Howard said the whole fucking place is a mess but people are worried about Wet Ass Pussy. He said the controversy is about a white woman in the song instead of a black woman. He said the other woman is Megan the Stallion in the song. They played some of the song and Howard said the Kardashian girl runs something in the video.
Robin said Cardi B isn't even black. Howard said she's not? He said her dad is from Trinidad and her mom is from the Dominican Republic. He said he thought the Jenner girl was black. He said he's trying to decide if he should sign this petition or not.
Howard said she says the N-word so how can she do that if she's not black. Robin said she's going to get to the bottom of it with DNA. Howard played more of the song and said he's had enough.
Robin said there's nothing there other than a celebration of Cardi B's pussy. Robin asked what the petition says. Howard said if Robin finds out Cardi isn't black then he's going to start a petition to have Cardi kicked out of the video. The guys played Robin singing a Cardi B song.
Howard said he's glad they created a clean version of the song. Robin said she wants to hear that version. She said she wants to hear what the kids can hear.
Howard said the video petition was about how perfect the video was until they saw Kylie in it. Robin asked who started this petition. Howard said he thinks it was Ted Cruz who started it. Howard said once he grew that beard he got into rap music. He said he must be trying to show he's looser than people think he is.
Howard said he was talking to Memet who said it's really bad there too. He said he lives in the same area. Robin said there would be people who didn't know what was going on and they're not wearing masks.
Howard said his friend's wife is afraid to go out to the supermarket there and they don't know if they should call the police or not. He said it's just chaos in the country right now. He said it's just so fucking crazy and he thinks it's the leadership in this country. He said Coronavirus should be under control now.
Robin said in New Zealand they haven't had a case in over 100 days. Howard said we should have it under control already. He said his friend said that here are 4 people who have moved out of his floor already.
Howard got Memet on the line and he said he uses an app called Citizen that shows where 911 calls are made from. He said in the past month his neighborhood has had a lot of crimes reported. He said things are insane now there in this neighborhood that used to be nice. He said they live like a block away from the hotel that he was talking about.
Howard asked what kind of crime is going on there. Memet said he has been keeping a list. He ran down that list of a ton of different crimes. Memet said they're just about the only ones left in their building now. He said people are leaving and saying they're never coming back to Manhattan.
Robin said they say there's a lot of squatting going on. Memet said that's probably the next thing to happen. Memet said the homeless thing would be fine if they stayed in their hotel room but they're all out on the street. He said they're jerking off and screaming at people and things like that.
Howard said the whole country is in a mess. He said speaking of that there are musicians suing the Trump campaign for using their music. He said Neil Young is suing. He said Trump would come out to ''Keep on Rocking in the Free World.'' He said that's not the most patriotic song. He said it talks about the ozone layer and things like that and it doesn't make sense for him to come out to it. Robin said he just likes the chorus. Howard said it's the same as Born in the USA which isn't a patriotic song. He said why not use a Kid Rock song or a Ted Nugent song. Robin said Wango Tango doesn't have the same ring. Howard said he'd be upset if he was Kid Rock and Trump isn't playing his music.
Gary said he came out to Live and Let Die recently. Robin said that's perfect. Howard said he doesn't think anyone is even thinking about those songs. Howard said this Neil Young song is great. He said he was watching some of his music videos and he does some really great stuff. He said he gets so moved by music. He said he wishes he could do his life over. He said he wishes he hadn't wasted his time jerking off. He said as he got older he got a love of learning. He said that didn't happen until he was an older guy. He said he had friends who had an appreciation for learning and he didn't understand it.
Howard said where he grew up if you were smart in school you were ridiculed. He said anyone who did well was a douche. He said you had to keep it real and be real stupid. Robin said she saw a girl in her school who was ruined by that. She said she was brilliant but she had to hang out with the not so smart kids.
Howard said when a kid would test well in his school they would bus them to another school. He said he was a kid and he wanted to be bussed out of there. He said he wondered why grey would bus them out of there if they were the best there. Robin said they knew they wouldn't get an education there.
Howard said he has to tell Bobo that his premise is calling into the show is like being a writer for Saturday Night Live. He said if you do that then you're getting paid. He said Bobo is not like a writer for Saturday Night Live. He said he isn't being paid to call in and he doesn't have to call in at all. He said calling the show isn't like being a writer for Saturday Night Live. Bobo said it is though. He said the writers try really hard to come up with ideas for the show. He said he racks his brain to see what he can come up with. He said it's almost like that for him. Howard said it's not like that at all. Robin said he must think that he gets on so much that he must be like a great writer.
Howard said if he worked for the show he would have been fired after the first call. He said he takes his calls because he takes calls from the audience. He said whoever is on his screen is who he picks up. He said he's not sure why he's thinking up things to call in about. He said he doesn't have that responsibility to call in. He said if he wants to call in when he hears something on the show then pick up the phone and call. He asked why he puts that pressure on himself. Bobo said he knows what he's saying. He said Howard sees the screen so he must think about who he will pick up on. Howard said he tries to take as many calls as he can. He said Bobo isn't like a writer on Saturday Night Live. He asked why he would call in with that today. Bobo said he's right. He said he should do more off the cuff stuff. Howard said be loose and just call in. He said he sounds so stiff when he calls in reading his questions. Fred did his Bobo Puppet voice and did that stiff voice and a sniff.
Howard said the problem is that Bobo thinks he's like a paid writer. Bobo said he just enjoys trying to contribute whatever he can. Howard said he's putting too much pressure on himself. He said he's doing a lot of planning and that's not good. Robin said it's not what you plan that makes it work. She said the moments they find out he had a 9/11 jacket is the good stuff. She said he didn't call in with that. Howard said it is a 9/12 jacket to correct Robin. Howard played a song parody about Bobo.
Howard said on their phone he has Matt who wants to say hi to Bobo. Howard took the call and Matt said he has been listening to the show for 25 years and he never called in. He said this guy calls in every day and all he talks about is getting on the radio. He said he had a great show going today and Bobo ruined it.
Howard asked Bobo if he feels there is pressure on him to make the show better. Bobo said no. Howard asked why he feels the pressure. Bobo said just coming up with topics is mind boggling. Robin said he shouldn't have to come up with topics. Bobo said you want to try to contribute. Robin asked why. Bobo said he enjoys it. He said he loves the show and he's retired. Robin said he called when he was still working. Bobo said that's true. Howard said Bobo must see himself as a punch up writer. He said he thinks he has to elevate the show. Bobo said you throw something against the wall and see if it sticks. Robin said he throws something against the wall and it just makes a mess.
Bobo asked Robin what her favorite gift Howard gave her ever was. Howard said he just got her a great gift. He said Robin's birthday you rack your brain thinking about what to get. He said she lives like a princess. Robin said she doesn't have a throne yet. Howard said that's next year. He said she has a lot of cats so he and Beth were building the new wing of the North Shore Animal League. He said they had a Billy Joel room built there because he gave a lot of money to the charity. He said this guy Mario has a company called Square Paws and he designed this room for Billy. He said it was Billy Joel themed. He said Billy saw it and he was blown away. He said he wanted to sit in the room with the cats with his kid. Howard said he and Beth were thinking about Robin's birthday and they figured they could do a room for Robin. He said this guy Mario came up from Florida and made Robin a themed room for her house. He said they told him about her house and where she lived. He said this thing shows up on her birthday and it was great. He said Captain Dennis filmed Robin seeing this thing for the first time. Howard said it was great for them. He said they put a lot of energy into it for her. He said it was very exciting to give that gift to Robin. He said this had her cats on it and it was just great.
Howard said he gave Robin a car one year too. He said that was pretty great too. Robin said if she had to pick she'd pick the painting of her house. Howard said good. He said that took him a long time. He said he's not a painter. He said he started late in life with that. He said he's sorry he didn't start that earlier. He said the other day he wanted to do a painting of a chair and he just couldn't get it right. He said he couldn't draw the chair. He said he felt so defeated and stupid. He said he should have paid attention in geometry. He said he was kicking himself over it. He said he should have paid more attention instead of jerking off and doing drugs. He said he wasted so much time in his life.
Howard said he wouldn't have been so lonely if he had the love of learning that he has now. He said he told Ronnie to get a hobby because he's so depressed. He said he keeps busy with his painting and he never gets depressed. He said he has things to keep his mind on. He said there is no prison they can put you in. He said if you're bored you've lost your curiosity. He said he wishes he had that Benjamin Button thing where you age backward.
Howard said he was talking to Captain Dennis last year and he got some pictures of Robin's back yard. He said he had to paint one of them for Robin. He said when Robin got it she was so moved by it. He said it was great. Howard said she even reframed it. He said he had it in a frame but she did it over. He said this Captain Dennis is very helpful around her birthday. He said last year he did the pictures and this year he had to coordinate with the cat guy. He said this guy is a great captain. He said he's not sure how to top these ideas. Robin said she feels like she doesn't give adequate gifts.
Howard said he's going to relieve Bobo of his pressure. He said Bobo said calling into the show is like being a writer for Saturday Night Live. He said he has all of this pressure but he wants him to throw out those books with his questions in them. He said when he calls into the show just call in spontaneously. He said he can just call in about Robin's birthday gift. He said then he can release himself from the pressure. He said a writer for Saturday Night Live is nothing like calling in. He said what Bobo does is like being the janitor at Saturday Night Live. He said he's walking around emptying garbage pails and he thinks he can submit something to the show but they throw it out.
Howard said he wants to take back the analogy of him being like a janitor because the janitor gets paid. Robin said he also does something useful. Howard said he doesn't have an analogy for Bobo. He said he's like and audience member there. He said it's hard to say what he's like. He said he has an interesting history with Bobo. He said he showed up at the hospital when his third daughter was born. He said he snuck in with his parents. Howard said he was pretending to be a family member. He said he was wondering who this guy is and what he was thinking.
Howard said Bobo is like a retired driving instructor who stalks him. He said that's who he's like. Bobo laughed. Robin said that's who shows up at the hospital. Bobo said that was a long time ago. Howard said he's like a guy walking by 30 Rockefeller Center while Saturday Night Live is going on. He said that's it. Robin said he's more intrusive than that. She said he walks through the frame. Howard said Bobo is like the guy who takes the NBC tour and he gets lost. He said then they're shooting live and he walks out on the stage and runs off. Howard asked how that is. Bobo said okay. Robin told him to stop writing. Howard let Bobo go a short time later. Fred was doing his Bobo Puppet and goofing on Bobo as they let him go.
Howard said he loves people who are told they are fat and have diabetes and might lose a foot and they don't do anything about it. Mikey said he wasn't able to walk for years. He said he had to do something. Howard asked what he weighed. Mikey said he was like 195 and now he's 150. Robin said that's amazing. Mikey said he's doing a lot of walking and eating right now.
Howard said Mikey was saying that people don't wear face masks where he lives. Mikey said that's why he writes all of the songs about wearing a fucking mask. Howard played his song parody about Robin's birthday that they played yesterday. Howard said nice work on that. Mikey said happy birthday Robin. Robin thanked him.
Howard said after his weight loss he has power in that voice. He said he was never able to do that. Mikey said it's as strong as his calves. Howard said he thought Robin might be interested in him now. He said thank god Diabetes didn't take that voice from the world. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked up the song like a WNBC DJ. He said he saw some scenes from Private Parts yesterday. He said he wanted to see Reni Santoni in the movie. He said he watched Paul Giamatti playing Pig Virus and teaching him how to say WNBC.
Howard said he was thinking about this guy Johnny Depp. He said this guy was a good looking guy. He said he is a really good actor too. He said he had tons of hot chicks. Robin said girls were losing their minds when he left them. Howard said then he opened up the paper and read about Amber Heard accusing him of being abusive. He said now Johnny is suing the newspaper that reported on it. He said now he's learning about all of this stuff that was going on in the trial. He said this is fucking up his whole image. He said he should have just shut his mouth. He said that guy was Johnny Depp. He said he was better looking than Brad Pitt in his day. He said that's all he wanted was a face like that.
Howard said Johnny wanted to call in to talk about all of that. He took the call from Fake Johnny Depp who was talking about how his wife shit in his bed and things like that.
Howard asked fake Johnny if it was what he called a whopper shit. Johnny said it was a Whopper or whatever else Jon Hein has wet dreams about. He said the shit was so big it's going to be in a show called My 600 Pound Shit. He said it was so big you could hollow it out and make a canoe out of it.
Howard asked how big it really was. Johnny said it was so big they're building condos on it. He had joke after joke about how big that shit was. He said it's so big that it has twitter followers.
Howard said Amber Heard says he's bat shit crazy and it wasn't a shit but one of his dogs and he must mistook it for a shit. Howard said he read that he got upset with Amber when he thought she was having an affair with Elon Musk. Johnny said he bets he built her a space ship to fly her shit to his bed. Robin asked how Elon Musk could take a girl from Johnny Depp.
Howard said he heard that he spent like $700 million. Johnny said that he's fine as long as they pay him $800 million to do The Lone Ranger 2. Howard asked how he blew through that much money. Johnny said he spent his hundreds of millions on a bunch of things and 20 grand on a shit proof bed and what a rip off that was.
Johnny talked about how he was going to play Robin in The Life of Robin Quivers. He said he was going to do that in a green suit and they'd turn him into a black woman in the movie. He said he walks around his house saying ''And that's what's happening...''
Howard said his accent is funny. He asked what's going on there. Johnny said he's from everywhere. He asked someone to buy a Cameo from him because he's fucking broke now. He asked if he can do a few now. Howard told him to go ahead. Johnny did some Cameos and did his Robin impression by ending it with ''And that's what's happening...''
Howard said he thinks you get that accent after someone shits in your bed. Howard let Johnny go a short time later.
Howard said Robin and Penn did go out. Robin said there wasn't a spark there. She said she does like him very much though. Howard asked if he tried to move in on her. Robin said no. She said they went out in the afternoon and it was never a dinner date. She said it was more of a friendship. She said they did give it a shot. Howard said he thinks he would have been great for her. Robin said Penn has a lot of rules. She said he was against meditation and things like that.
Howard said Gary had a great idea of getting Robin a Cameo from Penn. He said he's not sure why Penn is doing them. He said he thought he had money. He said maybe he's got problems. He said you can pay Penn to make messages. He said Gary didn't tell him who he was and he just got him to read something about Robin. Robin said he gave him all of these details and he didn't know who it was.
Howard played the Cameo that Penn did for Robin. He had no idea it was Robin Quivers. Penn read all of these details about Robin that Gary gave him. He had the $800 wine story and a bunch of other things. Penn said she sure sounds interesting. Howard said he doesn't know it's this Robin but he's very interested in her. Howard said someone gave him a note saying now Penn believes in meditation. Howard said he has been doing it since he was 18 and he believes in it.
Howard asked what Gary paid for that. Gary said it was $125. He said it was the best money he's spent. He said he went the extra mile for her. He said he didn't know it was Robin Quivers. Howard asked if you pay him directly. Gary said you pay through Cameo. He said you pay with a credit card. Howard said it seems like a thing that Penn doesn't need to do. Gary said Michael Rapaport does them and he said that it's basically putting his kids through school. He said High Pitch Erik does them and has a nice car. Howard said they're comparing Erik to Penn Jillette. He said they're not the same.
Howard asked how much Penn could be making a year. Gary said he'd bet it's $100,000 or so. Howard said according to Celebrity Net Worth it says Penn is worth $200 million. He said he believes that. Howard said he would think that he doesn't need to do this stuff. He said he's been famous for a long time and their shows are amazing. He said they have residency and their own theater in Las Vegas. Howard asked if you had that kind of money would you spend any part of that day recording messages to a girl named Robin for $125.
Robin asked what that says about a person when they have that kind of money. Howard said maybe he's not worth $200 million. Gary said maybe it's only 50 million. Howard said it's still not worth it. Robin said she doesn't think that Teller is doing this. Howard said he might when he sees how much he's making. Gary said they say they do it because they love connecting with their fans. Robin said she doesn't feel connected with.
Howard said they say that Caitlyn Jenner charges $2500 and her last message was 32 seconds long. Gary said she was on his short list but that's a lot of money. Howard said that's a lot of money. He said if he was Penn he'd charge $2500. He said he could just do a couple a week that way.
Howard said he has a game to play here. He said we all know what Cameo is. He said they came up with a game to guess who charges more. He will name 2 celebrities and Robin has to tell him who is charging more.
Howard had a theme song for the game that he really liked. He asked if anyone else can play. Gary said maybe Fred. Fred said he had looked at the sheet said he knows the answers. Howard said Robin is the only one playing then.
Howard gave Robin Andy Dick or Corey Feldman. Robin said she thinks that Corey does. Howard had Fred lock her in. He said Robin is right. He said he gets $202 and Andy gets $99. He said he's not sure why they're those numbers. Howard played some samples of Corey doing a Cameo. Howard wondered how he doesn't get more acting work with that delivery.
Howard asked Robin if Dr. Drew or Dr. Now from My 600 Pound Life gets more. Robin said she knows this one for sure. She said that it has to be Dr. Now. She said he must charge more. She said he has a TV show that's a sensation and it's kind of fun for people. She said she thinks that people who watch that show are more likely to tune in to berate people. Howard had her locked in and told her there's a $2 difference but she's correct. He said Dr. Now gets $200 a message and Drew gets $198. Howard played an example of Dr. Now doing his thing with a Cameo message. Robin said he's charging too much. Howard said what a fucking delivery that guy has. Robin said Dr. Drew has to do better than that.
Howard gave Robin two more celebrities. He gave her two women who slept with Donald Trump. He had Marla Maples and Stormy Daniels. Robin said if you were Marla Maples and you knew Stormy was on there you'd charge more. Howard said he would think you'd charge less to undersell her. Robin said she got to marry the guy and not just someone he plugged. Robin said she's going with Marla. Howard said this is the first one she got wrong. He said Stormy gets $250 and Marla gets $72. Howard said he would think Robin would use opposite logic in that. He asked who is a fan of Marla Maples. Robin said she was thinking of people who love Donald. Howard played a Stormy Daniels Cameo message. Howard said she sounds pretty up in that one.
Howard said he has Dr. Now on the phone to give her a live Cameo. He took the call from fake Dr. Now who gave her a birthday message. Howard said that was a horrible impression. He said lets just say he won't be getting a paycheck this week.
Howard said he has Adam Barta and Tan Mom up next. He asked who charges more. Robin said she would say that Tan Mom should charge more. She said she is the star but she thinks Adam charges more. Howard said she's wrong. He said Tan Mom charges $100 and Adam is $35. Robin said that seems reasonable. Howard said Tan Mom's name on Cameo is Patricia Krentcil. He said Tan Mom doesn't come up in a search. Howard played an example of one of her Cameos. They heard her voice and started doing impressions of her. Howard said she sounds like if the Cryptkeeper had a Cameo.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he believes that they're just doing this for their fans and maybe widen their fan base. Howard said he can go on his Twitter account and just ask for fans numbers and he'll call. He said he can do that for free for the fans. He said he's done that on New Years eve. He said he always thinks it's a nice thing to do on New Years Eve. Howard said as soon as money enters into it then people see it as a commercial enterprise. He said everyone has a right to make money so that's fine but if you want to be close to your fans go visit a sick kid or something. He said Will had cancer as a kid and he called him. He said he didn't charge him for it. Howard said he doesn't need more money from his fans.
Howard said he thinks certain celebrities shouldn't do it. He said he has a friend who everyone knows and one time he was talking to him privately and he brought up Cameo. He said he didn't get it but he heard the numbers people are making and thought it was a legitimate money making thing. He said he said to the guy that he was doing very well and he doesn't need to do that. He said you can leave some money on the table. He said some things might look tacky. He said he doesn't see it as giving back. He said he's looking at it from a celebrity point of view. He said if you have money you can do 10 a day for free or something.
Robin asked what you do with that message after you pay for it. Howard said you save it and show people. He said Robin's was funny as a gag gift.
Howard said Chevy Chase gets $500 for a Cameo message. He said he has money though. He said rock stars used to not put their songs in commercials. He said then The Who put one in and everyone wanted to do it after. He said he's not sure celebrities should be doing it. The caller asked if he thinks of it as a sell out. Howard said if someone is down on their luck that's a different story. He said he gets that Lindsay Lohan charges $300. Robin said Ringo Starr won't even sign anything for his fans.
Howard said the caller thinks he's wrong but he thinks that doing something for your fans is doing something charitable for them. The caller said that $125 isn't that much for Penn. Howard said he'd love to have them rationalize it for him but he's really not upset about it. Howard said Johnny Carson started a clothing line. He said that kind of ruined it for him. He said Letterman doesn't need to sell you a necktie. He said that he keeps it pure. He said Seinfeld keeps it simple and doesn't sell you a Cameo.
Howard said his fans pay for Sirius to get him. He said he might put out a book but that's different. Robin said that's content.
Howard said he has to get back to the game. He said that's what this is all about anyway. Howard said Soup Nazi from Seinfeld or Barry Williams. Robin said it has to be Barry. Howard said he gets $140 and Soup Nazi gets $80.
Howard asked if Michael Rapaport or Lenny Dykstra gets more. Robin said it has to be a sports legend like Lenny. Robin said Nails has run into some trouble so he might be thinking volume. Robin said she'll say Michael charges more. Howard said she's right. He said Michael gets $189 and Lenny gets $95. Howard played an example of one of Rapaport's messages. Howard said he could have rehearsed that one a little bit.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks Lou Ferrigno or Dean Cain gets more. Robin said it's The Hulk vs. Superman. She thinks that Lou gets more. Howard said he is a body builder and more. Howard said she's right. He said he's lost interest in this game. He played an example of Lou doing a Cameo video. Howard said who knew he was such a Yenta. Robin asked if he's doing nothing at all. Howard said it sounds like he has a lot of time on his hands. He said he's a chatter box.
Howard said he has a bunch of others. He asked about Cheech and Chong. Howard asked who gets more. Howard said Cheech gets $200 and Tommy is 190.
Howard asked about Ass Napkin Ed or Balls from Ellwood. Robin said it has to be more for Ed. Howard said he gets $19 and Balls is $5.
Robin wondered if Joey gets to pick who the guy is she works with. Howard said they'll talk to her in a few minutes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's watching Private Parts now. He said this is the first time he's seen it. He asked if he really made a girl orgasm on a speaker subwoofer. Howard said he did. He said he was on in Washington DC at the time. He said he had just bombed out in Detroit and he had to be a hit. He said he would do anything on the air. He said he was on this station owned by conservative people.
Howard said he was working at this station and he called this guy Gof LeBar who just died last week. He said he called Gof on a Super Bowl Sunday to ask him about his salary. He said he was so not into sports he didn't even know the game was on. He said he was asked to call back during half time. He said he called back and talked to Gof about the job. He said he was offered 30,000 when he was making 50 in Detroit. He said Gof offered him 40. He said he couldn't go lower than what he was making. He said he was driving a 70 Valiant at the time and he went to Washington DC. He said he was at his wit's end there. He said he would do anything to get ratings. He said he figured if someone sat on a speaker he could get a woman to orgasm. The caller said that was a great scene in the movie. Howard said he thought it really worked. He said he tested it out somewhere down the line. He said they had someone they knew sit on a speaker and tried it out. He said she tried it and she felt it in her vag lips.
Howard said this guy Gof was losing sponsor after sponsor on the station. Howard said they went from a zero to number one in the market in a matter of a couple of months. He said grey didn't know what hit them. Howard said this guy who hired him was upset about the sponsors canceling. He said they were writing articles about him and how crazy he was. He said this guy hated him even more. He said Gof had a 5 point plan for the station and he ruined it for him. Howard went through the 5 point plan and did his impression of Gof talking about all of that.
Howard said when they started writing about the show in the paper Gof was beside himself. He said he was wondering why they weren't interviewing him about his 5 point plan. He said he told him they should be because he didn't want them writing about him.
The caller asked if Robin was wondering what the hell Howard was doing. Robin said she already knew that he was out of his mind. She said that she knew that when Howard would talk to her. She said she was supposed to do the news and leave and Howard talked to her the very first day. She said that she was not prepared for that.
Howard said Gof was obsessed with that 5 point plan. He said rest in peace to Gof. Howard said they got thrown out of a department store appearance they made because so many people showed up. He said it was fucking insane. He said the kicker was that he was still making 40 grand a year. He said he was living in a place with no security. He said he had no protection at all. He said his fans would see him and he was out on the street trying to fix his tires and they were shocked he couldn't get new sneakers. Howard said he really has to go because he has to talk to Joey King. Howard let that caller go and took a call from a guy who asked him to make his subwoofer rattle so he can get off on that. Howard did his thing with the fake caller and that guy said he was getting off. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with the Deep Purple song. Howard said tomorrow they have Metallica stopping by. He said they have a cool setup. He said it'll sound great.
Howard said he has the star of a couple of fantastic movies on Netflix called The Kissing Booth 1 and 2. Robin said it was such a hit that they made 2 and a 3. Gary said they have her but it'll take a couple of seconds to get her in. Howard said there she is. Howard said look at her. Joey said hi and added an ''Oh my god!''
Howard asked where she is. She said she's in her house. Howard said she must have her own house now. She said she does. Joey said she bought it at 16. Robin asked if she has outgrown it. Howard said to buy your own house at 16 is really kind of mind blowing. He said if you're emancipated from your parents you can work more hours. Joey said she did a thing where she didn't emotionally emancipate. She said she graduated high school early so she could be a regular adult. Howard asked if she was home schooled. Joey said she was but not the whole time. She said she went to middle school and then it was the rest of her schooling after. She said she did an online program.
Howard said he was such a douche bag in school that could have gotten him out of it. He asked if she was the coolest kid in school. Joey said everyone hated her in school. She said it was because she was an actor. Howard sounded shocked by that. Joey said she started at a new school when Ramona and Beezus came out. She said that everyone thought she thought she was better than everyone else. She said she was a teacher's pet and everyone hated her for that too.
Howard said he would imagine she was a good student though. He said he figures she got good grades. He said to remember lines and stuff you must be bright. Joey said she did get good grades but she would cry over geometry. She said she liked school and didn't hate it.
Howard said it's odd that she's the star of a movie about school and she didn't go. Joey said she wore a cap and gown for the first time in a movie. She said she went to a friend's prom but not her own. She said that she went shopping for a dress with her friend. She said she called a KFC to find out if they did fried chicken corsages. She said she heard that's a real thing but they hung up on her. She said that they eventually got them to wear at the prom. Howard asked if she wore it to the prom. Joey said absolutely. She said KFC asked what dipping sauces they wanted for them.
Howard said it was a big decision for him to come out of the closet about The Kissing Booth. He said he and his wife loved it so much. He said he turned to his wife and she said this is why she loves him so much. He said he loves them even more than she does. He said he doesn't give a shit about sports. He said he would rather have Kissing Booth every day.
Joey said she has been keeping up with Howard about that and The Act and the second movie. She said she's flabbergasted about him being a fan. Howard said he says that Joey King is his favorite actress and he's not making a joke. He said this is what he likes. He said he likes Kissing Booth so much. He said he likes it because it's the opposite of his life. He said it looks like so much fun that he would have wanted in high school. He said she never got to go to school so he imagines she wanted that too. Joey said they have a similar high school experience it sounds like. She said it makes you hope that's what high school is like. Joey said that it made her want to go to high school.
Howard said he imagines that she got this script and he thinks she looked at it and thought it wasn't so great a script. He said it's not that well written. He said she took it and elevated it. He said that's the sign of a good actress. He said it's her charisma that made the movie.
Joey thanked him for that. She said she was filming another movie when she got the script for this. Howard asked what it was. She said it was a scary movie. Howard asked if it was the one where she got bruises over her body. She said no, that was The Conjuring and she loved that. She said it was so fucked up that it still scares her to this day. Howard said he won't watch scary movies. Joey said she has a fear of ghosts and stuff like that. She said she can't watch them either. Joey said The Conjuring was great and while she was shooting it the family it was based on came to visit the set. She said they told stories about what they lived through. She said it was so scary. She said she was so freaked out by it. She said she was young but she still can't watch it.
Howard said he would think that being in the movie would make it less scary. Joey said it was the opposite. She said it completely freaked her out. She said she's not sure what she believes in but when it comes to angry shit in the afterlife she gets really freaked out. She said she doesn't want bad blood with demons or anything.
Howard asked if she's a method actor who puts herself in that place and believes that stuff. Joey said not at all. Howard asked how she explains that she got mysterious bruises all over her body. Joey said this story is so weird. She said she thinks this is why she's so scared of that movie. She said the mom in that movie gets bruises on her body. She said she had that happening to her in bizarre places. She said they were on her stomach and chest. She said the makeup ladies thought she was stealing their bruises. She said she went to a doctor while they were shooting and they gave her some blood tests. She said they thought it could be leukemia. She said she was 12 at the time so she was freaked out. She said she was told she had a blood thinning condition where the red platelets drained from her body. She said she hadn't had a problem before and hasn't had one since. She said she was at risk of having a blood transfusion. She said it was really weird. She said she had to got the hospital before and after work so they could build up her platelets again. She said after she did the shoot she had to keep it up for a while. Then she went to the doctor a second time and she was completely fine. Howard said no wonder she's freaked out. Joey said of course. She said she was 12 years old and thought she was going to get killed by a ghost. Howard said no one has an explanation for it. Joey said not at all.
Howard asked what she thinks it could be. Joey said she's trying to walk through it and logically think it out. She said she has no idea. She said the doctors just told her she had this condition and they didn't have an explanation.
Joey said she was searching the witch from the movie and she was freaked out just typing in the name in the computer. She said she doesn't believe in that stuff but it still freaks her out.
Howard asked Joey if she would do a Conjuring 2. Joey said there was already one. Howard said how about they offer her $25 million and some back end to do another one. Joey said this is such a good question. She said she's thinking about how great that offer is but she could die from it. She said she's hesitant to answer because of the paranoia that the witch lady might haunt her after hearing this on Howard Stern. She said if she's busy haunting someone else she would say yes she would do it. Howard said that is a confusing story.
Howard asked who that person is behind her. Joey freaked out and said she has people there so it could have been her sister. Howard said it's the witch.
Howard said he watched Kissing Booth 1 twice. He said he liked it so much. Joey said she knows, she heard him talking about it. Howard asked how it works when it's on Netflix doing so well. Joey said she got an email from Ted Sarandos congratulating her on how well it's doing. She said she got a message from him on her birthday too. She said it's also Ted's birthday. She said that she hears from Ted a lot more than other people do. Howard said Ted runs Netflix. He said that they have already shot Kissing Booth 3. He asked when that comes out. Joey said that will be next year. She said that they won't tell her yet. She said that Ted is the Co-CEO of Netflix now. Howard asked if they have some kind of magic that happens when a movie hits number 1 on Netflix. Joey said they were expecting this to do well. She said that they knew that the first one did well and everyone loved what they did with no promotion. She said it's been 2 or 3 years since that came out. She said they have a great relationship with Netflix now. She said they sent her a basket of really expensive shit. She said it's really nice stuff. She said they sent her a nice bottle of champagne and caviar. She said it was a basket of awesome shit. She said she ate it in like 30 minutes.
Howard asked if she drinks champagne and all of that. Joey said sure she does. Howard said if this movie came out and she's not in it then he's not watching it. He said her agent must have slammed them for this second one. Joey said that she didn't expect the first one to do so well. She said she knew that it was going to be special but she wasn't sure if anyone would see it. Joey said the second one they didn't expect to do as well but they did it right.
Howard said Joey wasn't on his radar before this. He said she got ''The Act'' and did great in that. He asked if she went on an audition for that. Joey said that her life changed after The Kissing Booth. She said she got a giant fan base from that and it happened pretty much over night. She said she's been acting since she was 4 and this was a huge jump. Howard asked if she gauges that on social media. Joey said she dos. She said she went from about 400,000 to millions. Howard asked how many she has now. Joey said it's like 16 million and so many of them are mean. Howard asked if she reads the comments. Joey said she does. Howard said she has to stop reading it. He said she can't let that get to her. Joey said she knows he doesn't look like Megan Fox and she's fine with that. She said she reads that stuff and you think you're an ugly piece of shit. She said that she's not though because she's in a Netflix movie and she's doing great.
Howard asked what it is they say about her. She said they call her ugly and they are huge fans of her ex and they must think they can date him or something. Howard said that's so warped. Joey said she tucks herself in watching Frasier and not thinking about that stuff because it doesn't get to her.
Howard said Joey is so beautiful and she has a spirit about her. He asked who the fuck would write something about her like that. Joey said she gets it. She said that when she was 10 or 11 she loved One Direction. She said she would wear her best shoes and top and she thought that maybe she'd be able to date Harry Styles at 10. She said that they're not really thinking about her as a real person. She said Twitter isn't a place to have people like you. She said she will put her phone down and just look around to see that her life is just great.
Howard said that the kids in school hated her for being an actor. He said now she's acting and she has the hot guy and kids are jealous. Joey said that she's in this movie and she's living her dream. She said she has been acting since 4 and now she's a lead in a Rom-Com trilogy. She said fuck 'em. She said she has wonderful fans out there who go to bat for her too. She said they have been there since she was 9 years old. She said they have been there with her through a lot of it.
Howard asked if she blocks people who say stuff about her she doesn't like. Joey said not unless grey say something about someone she loves. She said it's too much work. She said that if they say something about her being Jewish then she'll block them. Howard said he remembers the world before social media. He said he had the power but everyone has this power now. He said it's mind blowing to him. He said when you think about it having 16 million followers is a whole business in itself. He said if she never acted again she'd have that. Howard said in his heyday he didn't have more than 20 million listeners.
Howard asked if she has to think about doing the social media thing. Joey said she can use it for publicity and giving her thoughts on politics. She said it's a fun way to connect with people on Instagram. She said it's more fun than Twitter. She said she is very fun and free on there.
Howard asked if she goes through a publicist or does she doe it herself. Joey said she thinks about it in two ways. She said she had to burp there. Howard said that's very unprofessional.
Joey said she has her own logins and she's the one posting her stuff. She said she doesn't like being told what she can and can't do so she does it herself. She said she will check in with her friend who has 20 million followers. She said she'll ask for a caption for something from her and that's about all the help she gets. Joey said she doesn't think that she has views that would ruin her career if she posted them. She said she won't say she can't ruin her career but she thinks before she posts too. She said that on her page she tries to be who she is and kind of not really hides anything. She said it's not that hard to censor yourself.
Howard asked if she put out a picture of herself in a bathing suit and she got bashed by the followers would she read the comments. Joey said she has done that. She said she fluctuates with her body. She said she will work out in the gym for a movie but she won't post something online unless she knows she looks good. Joey said the internet is the worst place to get comments. She said she's not looking for affirmation.
Howard said she just said the key. He said if you post that picture and need to hear from the fans grey won't give you what you want. Joey said she will only post it if she knows she's in the best shape ever. She said she's not in that shape right now but whatever, quarantine. She said she's not being careful about what she's eating right now.
Howard said Joey posted something really great about her co-star. He said that the guy she stars with said he hasn't even seen the second Kissing Booth. Howard said you know for sure he did see it and he's lying about it. Howard said you want to see how it looks. Howard said there's this mentality if you way you haven't seen it and she called him out on it. Joey said she said Jacob did watch it and he's capping which means he's lying. She said she heard that term on TikTok. She said apparently it's not the right term. She said she should not have used it as a white person. She said she thinks it's an African American term. She said two accounts called her out on it. She said she deleted it and she knows that will live on forever. Howard asked who would know that. Joey said she deleted it and that's why, not because of anything else. She said she knows the fans are curious about that tension there. She said she knows they'll appreciate that and they did.
Howard said he liked the tweet because he was so glad that she called out and actor for that. He said don't bullshit everyone. He said maybe he didn't see it but she knows him better than he does. Joey said she did get his permission to tweet it. Howard said that's good. He said it shows a good sense of humor on his part. Joey said yeah... but she hesitated. Howard asked why they did that. Joey said he did have a good sense of humor about the tweet. Howard said that's fair enough.
Howard said at her age no matter who you date it's a big deal. Joey said everyone wants to know who she's dating now. Howard said at her age and at her level of success the relationships aren't even meant to last forever. He said it's probably the best to be dating now. He said that it's probably good that she and Jacob broke up. Joey said she learned a lot from that relationship. Howard asked if she would ever date another actor. He said he thinks that the movie set is such an aphrodisiac. Joey said she would not date another actor from a movie set. She said she couldn't. She said she loves actors but for her it's not good. She said doing the same thing as someone else is very tough. Howard said it's competitive. He said he doesn't care what anyone says. Joey said that you don't think about competing but you hope that your success is not hurting their feelings. She said you start to create a narrative that they're thinking it and that's bad.
Howard said he's so happy she said that. He said that you have to think about that. He said that's what can happen. Joey said she knows actors who are marred to other actors and that's awesome but for her that doesn't work. She said she and her sister are both actors and they're thrilled for each other. She said when you're in a relationship and you worry about that then it's not good. She said she has dated other actors before. She said she was worried if they would be happy for her.
Howard said his sister isn't competitive with him and she's so happy for him. He said it's kind of perfect. He said he doesn't think he would do well if his partner was succeeding beyond him. He said that Jacob is doing fine but there's no way for him to be in a relationship with her and see her doing so well. He said he couldn't take it if that was him. Joey said she's not sure what he was thinking but she'd hope he wouldn't be like that. She said he had great success in the first Kissing Booth. She said that was great for him. She said that they dated for a minute and now they have separate careers. Howard said it has to be tough to work with him in the second and third movies. He said she has to act like she's in love with him. Joey said that's the coolest part of her job. She said you do something that's not easy.
Joey said that Elle Evans needs her Joel Flynn. She said that she was able to have that experience happen. Howard said he was kind of shocked he went to Harvard in the movie. He said he came across as kind of dumb. Howard said if she gets into Harvard she had better go there. Joey asked about the friendship. Howard said never mind that.
Howard asked if she has heard from anyone famous who is a Kissing Booth fan. Joey said yeah, Howard. Howard said not him but others. Joey said no. She said she has gotten a couple of reach outs from some people. Howard asked for a name. Joey said she's trying to think. Howard asked who has congratulated her because they like the movie and not just the success of it. Howard said he knows answers about the movie. Joey said she's looking through her phone and Howard is the OG fan. She said Jeff Garlin messaged her the other day. Howard asked if he's a fan of the movie. Joey said that's what he said. Howard said he might be capping. Joey said she knew he was going to say that. She said that someone who texts her a lot is Zach Braff. Howard said he knows Zach. Joey said he said he won't watch it but he's proud. She said that he keeps saying that he won't watch it. She said he told her to mention him today and that the three movies she made with him changed her life.
Howard said he's proud of Joey for not dating more actors. Howard asked how that guy Taylor got those abs. Joey said they have been half quarantining with each other. Howard said you can't do that if he's coming over. Joey said they've been with their families and he lives around the corner from her. Joey said they were both tested so grey could watch the movie together. Howard asked if he hung out with her. Joey said he just looks like that and it's so infuriating. She said she has the Jewish thighs and things that her grandma told her about. Howard said her mother is Jewish and her father is not. He said that she's half. Joey said her mother is so she's Jewish. She said she chose that at 11 years old. She said she celebrates both at Christmas time. She said you have to do that. She said it's her favorite. Howard said he has a big tree in his house. Joey said she has a tree and a Hanukkah bush in her house.
Howard asked if Joey wants to make out with this guy Taylor at all. Joey said she has gotten very close to him and they had so much dancing together. Howard said they do a lot of dancing in those movies. Howard asked if she does her own dancing. Joey said she and Taylor did their own dancing. She said that they could get a double to stand in for a close up or something but they did their own dancing for the most part.
Howard asked what they do when Taylor comes over. Joey said they gab like gals. Howard asked if that's it. Joey said they get face masks and talk to their siblings and things like that. She said it's amazing that they can be friends like that. Howard said it's interesting to him that the one guy over there is that one.
Howard asked if her sister is okay with her being so successful. Joey said her sister is the single handed most supportive person she has ever met in her life. She said they have been best friends since they were kids. She said she's six years younger than her sister and her sister was never mad at her for anything. She said that they love each other so much. She said she feels like she's so happy for her. Howard asked if she has asked her to put her in anything. Joey said not at all. She said she is starting to produce things so she wants to do something with her sister. She said they are the stupidest people when they're together. She said she wants to make a film about their life or something like that. She said they're just so silly. She said they do want to work together. She said she did a guest spot on Life in Pieces and she did get to work together. She said it was her favorite time ever.
Howard asked if she lives with her mom too. Joey said they live with her in her house. Howard said this is the house she got at 16 and everyone moved in with her. Joey said she asked them to live with her. She said she didn't want to be alone.
Howard asked if it's weird financially when she has people living there. Joey said not at all. She said they both pull weight. She said she's not just taking care of the house. She said she learned everything about being neat and tidy form her mom. She said her sister Hunter is even more about that. She said she's still dead asleep right now.
Howard said Joey was robbed at the Emmys. He said she was nominated for that and some other awards. Joey kept adding to the list of nominations she had. Howard asked if she was pissed when they announced Michelle Williams beat her. Joey said not at all. Howard asked her to describe her disappointment and anger. Joey said she was more invested if she would get a nomination or not. She said when she got that nomination she was a puddle of tears. She said she was so excited. She didn't care if she won or not. She was thrilled to be in that category with everyone else. She said she was a win for her. She said being at the Emmys and sitting there when they're about to announce the winner her heart was beating out of her chest. She said she would pass out if she won. She said she was nervous there and she was nervous before coming on this show today. She said when she's on set she's in her zone and doesn't have that. Joey said her heart was beating really fast when they were announcing the winner. Joey said he expected to lose to Michelle so she wasn't upset about it. She said she thought it would be cool to win but she was just 20 at the time and she was just 19 when she was nominated. She said she has not been around the block as much as the other ladies who were nominated.
Howard asked if she had a speech prepared. Joey said she did. She said she knew she wouldn't be able to come up with something on the spot. Howard asked if she would have had the paper out or not. Joey said she wrote down a note the names she wanted to thank and a vague idea of what to say. She said she wanted to have the names memorized. She said she did want it to be spontaneous.
Howard asked if she would have mentioned Gypsy, the girl she played, because this girl was a victim of a mother who was out of her fucking mind. Howard said this girl was in on killing her own mother but should she have gone to jail? He asked if she would have said something about her. He asked where she stands on her. Joey said she did have a plan to mention her and she would have acknowledged that she was benefiting from someone's tragic life and it wasn't lost on her. She said she would have said something about that. She said it's messed up but that's what she wanted people to know. She said her stance on Gypsy is if she was to go away somewhere, which she is, they have no therapy for her there and she thinks that's insane. She said the fact that she's not in a place where she can get help is insane. Joey said she thinks she should be punished in some way for her crime. She said she thinks that she needs help though.
Howard said imagine the disaster after prison for her. He said that her mother raised her as an animal. Joey said she has never met her but she's one of the most well spoken people. She said she is really smart and she thinks she'll be fine. She said she wants her to thrive.
Howard asked if she is doing an impression of a person or making it up when she plays a character like that. Joey said she thinks it's a little bit of both. She said she will get comfortable with the character and get the mannerisms and voice down. She said she wants to be able to act and do things spontaneously. She said she doesn't want to just impersonate that person.
Howard asked Joey how she got that part. Joey said that she had an audition and the people there hadn't seen The Kissing Booth yet. She said that they were amazed that she was able to see her play both roles so well. She said that they watched it after her audition and liked that.
Howard asked Joey if she spent months looking at Gypsy's tapes before going in for the audition. Joey said not at all because you have no idea if you're going to get the part. She said she doesn't even remember what she did in the audition. She said she was told not to do the voice. She said they didn't want to base the casting on that. She said she can't remember anything she did there. She said when she booked the role she did ask if she could do the voice. She said she asked them to do that and wanted to be dressed how Gypsy was dressed in the documentary. She said that they were behind that.
Howard asked Joey if she feels ridiculous going into a movie and doing stuff like that. Joey said she did worry about it with The Act and how it could ruin her career if she did it wrong. Howard asked if Patricia Arquette talked to her about it. Joey said that they had an honor system together. She said they didn't have a lot of time to prepare for it. She said about 4 days into filming Patricia had done some takes and she turned to her and asked if that was okay. She said obviously it was. She said Patricia said she was serious and wanted to know for sure. She said they agreed to tell each other if they didn't think something was good. Joey said it's good to know someone is going to be that honest with you about that. Joey said they did that and it felt very strange to do that. Joey said that Patricia became so much more than Patricia Arquette after that. She said that she's one of the closest people she knows now. She said that she's so happy they were able to do that together. She said it was so fun.
Howard said he has a cat named Helen Rose and that movie inspired him to talk to her like the mom did in that movie. He said he does that every fucking minute. He said he gives her the whole speech.
Howard said that really was an amazing performance. He said that Joey had to do some nude scenes and Patricia made sure she was covered and the set was cleared and all of that. Joey said she was great with that. She said she had never done that before. She said there were other scenes where she wasn't around but she had the knowledge thanks to Patricia. She said they were really good and she felt very safe there.
Howard said if the whole cast and crew are there and some dude is leering at you then it will blow the whole scene for her. He said he'd think that. Joey said she would say something if someone was doing that. She said everyone on that set was the best. She said she loved every minute of filming that show. She said she has some of the most meaningful relationships from that show. She said she was nominated and she had a great time shooting it. She said it couldn't have been better.
Howard asked if she knows anyone who auditioned for that show. Joey said she has met some and she's shocked when she finds out.
Howard asked if she has auditioned for anything she really wanted and didn't get it. Joey said of course. She said she will get bummed about it but she won't get too upset.
Howard said he read that she signed a first look deal with Hulu. He asked if Netflix gets upset about that. Joey said as far as she knows no. She said that Netflix and Hulu seem to get along. She said that they're both proud of her. She said that Hulu came to her with the first look deal. She said she doesn't think Netflix was upset because she still has plans with them.
Howard asked if she did something with Brad Pitt. Joey said she did just get a film with him. She said that's unbelievable to her. She said she's been acting since she was 4 and that's like the most Hollywood thing. She said everything about it is great. She said she's not sure what she can say about the film but it's action and it's about an assassin. Howard asked if she feels like she's going to be seduced by Brad Pitt. Joey said Howard is like the 15th person to say that to her. Howard said it's going to happen. Joey said she's not sure what's going on in everyone's mind. Howard said don't be seduced by this guy. Joey said she has no plans. She said she's happy in her current situation. Howard asked what that situation is. Joey said she is happy. Howard asked if she's in a relationship. Joey said if you look on the internet you can figure it out. Howard said he read something about some guy she met on a set but he's not an actor. Howard said he could never date her because he'd be so jealous of her. Joey said she can't stand jealousy so they'd never work.
Howard said he read about Joey falling for a guy who was 10 years older than her when she was 14. She said he was actually 26. She said she was playing 18 in the movie. She said they're still close now. She said she doesn't see him much but they do reach out to her occasionally. She said that was her first kiss and it was the worst day of her life on that set. She said he was smoking in the scene and he had a beard and it was cold out and she had a wig on so it was terrible. She said she didn't think she was in love with him at all.
Howard said imagine that she's 21 now and she had to make out with a 14 year old. Joey said that is weird. She said that he was 26 at the time too so that had to be weird for him.
Howard said Joey and Jacob went off to rehearse their kissing for Kissing Booth. He said that's something he would do. He said you know they had to be thinking they were falling for each other. Joey said they didn't do that. She said that they did that first kiss in their producer's office. She said they were just told to get it out of the way now. Joey said they did not do that rehearsal thing. Howard said that you have to be nervous if you're in front of a producer. Joey said she wasn't having any feelings for him at the time either. She said she developed feelings for him eventually. She said they were having discussions about diarrhea and poop and having fun. She said it was later on that they had feelings. Howard said it kind of mimics the movie.
Howard said this is exciting for him. He said with Kissing Booth 1 there should have been an apple box for her to stand on. He said she's so short compared to him. Joey said she was on apple boxes for the fist movie. She said that part of the movie was how she was short and this height difference was part of that. She said that everyone loves a tall guy. She said that was about the average girl getting the hot guy.
Howard said Joey is not average. He said he would have hung in there with her. He said if he was on a movie with Joey King and she somehow got attracted to him he'd be in it for the long run. He said she's a catch. Joey thanked him for that. She said that he has to remember that other people may not feel that way about her. She said she may not be that awesome.
Howard asked Joey what's wrong with her as a girlfriend. Joey said that's a good question. She said she's different with different people. She said some bring out the best and some bring out the worst in her. She said she has a lot of weaknesses. She said she's trying to think about what to talk about. Howard asked if she's in therapy. She said she's starting today actually. Howard asked if it's a man or woman. Joey said it's a woman. She said she's going to give it a try and she'll see if it works. Howard said he thinks that they have to try this out for a few sessions and see how it works.
Howard asked what she wants to work on. Joey said she has to work on stressing about things that she might not need to. She said she has other things he wants to work on too. She wants to work on being more present and things like that. She said she wants to be grounded and how that makes you feel. She said that she has to talk about the criticism she gets and how to deal with that. She said she knows that she doesn't have the hate that many people do. She wants to make sure it won't inhibit her. Howard said this is a great agenda for therapy. Joey said thank you.
Howard asked why she chose a woman over a man. Joey said she would want a woman because there are things about being a woman that she feels she cold talk to her about. Howard said he wanted to go to a woman but he was told to go to a man because he might be able to seduce a female therapist in a way that he'd manipulate her. Joey said she gets that.
Howard said he admires her for doing all of that. He said he feels like that she's his new BFF. She said how about BFFL best friend for life. Howard said he doesn't want her falling for Brad Pitt. Joey said she's going to learn a lot from him about being an action star.
Robin asked if she worked with Johnny Depp. Joey said she never did. Robin said she thought she did.
Howard said she just noticed that her necklace says ''vote'' on it. He said look at her. Joey said she can't wait to vote in this one. Howard said he wishes he could vote right now.
Howard said that Joey is great in Kissing Booth and he can't wait for Kissing Booth 25. He said he'll watch all of them. He said his TiVo thinks he's a teenage girl because of all of the show she watches. Howard said check out Kissing Booth and ''The Act'' too. He said she's great in that.
Howard asked Joey if she has a message of hope or anything to give them before they leave. He asked when therapy is. Joey said that she has her therapy today at 4. She thanked Howard for having her on today. She said it's been amazing hearing him talk about her the past couple of years. She said wear a mask. She also said her cover of Cosmopolitan just came out today too. Howard asked who decides what she wears on that. She said they do. She said they gave her choices and she was able to pick what she wanted to wear.
Howard asked how they get back to acting with COVID. Joey said she doesn't know. Howard said she doesn't have the answers. Howard wrapped up and said that Joey has said enough. He said she was very generous with her time. Howard said go see what her sister is up to. Joey said they might get some food together or something.
Howard asked which actor she's really into. Joey said Benedict Cumberbatch. Howard said Robin says that too. He said don't ever change. He said he can tell she's very nice. He said don't read comments on Instagram. He asked what she's going to do now. Joey said she's going to eat something and pack up the microphone pack they sent her. Howard said maybe that Marco guy will come over and nap with her. Joey said no actors. Howard wrapped up and gave her another plug for Kissing Booth 2. Howard said what a nice human being she is.
Howard said he enjoyed that. Robin asked what age his inner teenage girl is. Howard said it's embarrassing to say. Robin asked how old that girl is. Howard said he's into some masculine things. He said he won't even get into that. Howard said he wants to remind the manly guys listening that he watches John Wick and the super hero movies. He said he's an expert in a few thing that are very masculine. He said he won't say what they are. He said this guy will be moshing to Metallica tomorrow. He said that's the most masculine thing you can do.
Howard got in a plug for the movie An American Pickle which was their sponsor for today's show. Howard said that inner girl in him will be going to bed with a model tonight. He said just remember that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Robin is her hero. She said that she wanted to thank all of them for being there for her through cancer. She said she has Lupus and she can't go out during quarantine. She said they have been there for her and she feels calm and safe because of them. Howard thanked her for that. He said he hopes she'll be okay. He said this was a good call to end the show on. They ended the show around 10:55am. And that's what's happening.
Howard started the show talking about how everyone is amped up for Metallica today. He said they're one of the biggest bands in the world. He said Jon gave him some stats about their touring. He said it was billions of dollars of tickets. Jon said it was 22 million tickets and U2 is the only band to sell more. He said it's 1.4 billion in ticket sales for Metallica. He said their last tour they made $400 million.
Howard said everyone is excited for them to come in. Robin said everyone must have seen them by now. Howard said someone asked what Richard would be willing to do to get on that Zoom. Howard said nothing will get him on that.
Howard said he gets angry and masculine when they play their stuff. They had Enter Sandman playing as he was talking about them.
Howard had a bunch of fan questions that they wanted him to ask. He said someone asked him to ask James about his shyness. Howard said he has a feeling someone in their audience is trying to get over their shyness.
Howard said Metallica has a studio setup and the quality of the music should be really good. He said on some shows it's not very good so this might work out really well. Robin asked if they're all together in that studio. Howard said they have all been quarantining and they have it all worked out. He said either that or they're throwing all caution to the wind. He said the Sturgis motorcycle rally no one is wearing masks. He said they figure COVID won't go there to North Dakota.
Howard said the leader of Smashmouth has said fuck COVID and he's just out there not wearing masks. He said he hung out with that guy once. He said he saw him at the Sturgis bike rally. Robin said whatever that is. Howard said all of the guys looked like they were Ronnie's age and wearing leather and covered in tattoos. He said all of those guys can kick his ass.
Howard said he didn't think any of those bikers would be into Smashmouth. He sang some of their songs and said maybe bikers dig that. He said he's not sure what the guy's name is. He said he wrote it down. He said he saw the guy on some clip saying ''fuck those masks'' or something like that. Howard said some biker is going to be on a ventilator in a month wondering if it was worth going to see Smashmouth in Sturgis. He said the singer's name is Steve Harwell. He said he was talking about not wearing masks. He said it's all about freedom. He said we're all doomed. Robin said the bikers all like riding motorcycles together and then park them together.
Gary said that the lineup of bands was a who's who of who are they. He said it was Smashmouth and a few other bands. Howard said we have to have a law saying we have to wear masks. Robin said people didn't want to wear seatbelts either. Howard said we have to get COVID under control.
Howard asked Gary for the lineup. Gary said Night Ranger, Buck Cherry, Quiet Riot and Big Skillet were some of the other bands. Howard said he doesn't know that Skillet band is. Gary said it's Big Skillet. Howard sang some Quiet Riot. He said the whole fucking country is falling apart. He said no offense to his buddy Donald but we're so third world now.
Howard said with the mail they mailed something to California and something to Pennsylvania. He said the letter to Pennsylvania hasn't gotten there and the California thing took weeks. He said this is the end of this country with this happening. He said he sees the discourse with this administration and he has to say this stuff because it's so upsetting to him. He said the postal system is so bad now.
Howard said they say that this is a move by the Trump administration to slow down the mail so they can say the election is illegitimate. He said the mail in voting is what he has always done. Robin said they say that absentee ballots are fine but they think regular mail in voting would be compromised. Howard said this would be an act of being a traitor to this country. He said he can't imagine the devious minds that want to fuck up an election.
Howard said he is so upset with the way things are going here in this country. He said our beautiful postal system is falling apart. He said he said this country would fall apart without leadership. He said what's going on now is mind blowing. He said we have a worse postal system than Italy. He said you used to be able to drop a piece of paper in the box and it would get there without worrying about it. Robin said people used to be able to send money through the mail.
Howard asked Sal why they would call it that. Sal said he's not sure. He asked why he would care. He said he's just talking about how lousy the mail system is there. He said he wasn't sure if his father got the letter or not.
Howard asked Sal where he heard that term. Sal said he's not sure. Howard kept having Sal say Rush and Roulette. Robin said it has to mean something. Sal said they should look into it. Howard said he should rush to fire him. He asked if he should tell Sal or not. Robin said yes.
Howard asked if Sal's kids correct him a lot. Sal said they do occasionally. He said he said ''Envelope'd'' instead of enveloped. Howard told Sal that Russian Dressing is actually Rush and Dressing. Sal said he knows where he's going with this. He said it must be Russian Roulette. Sal said he has a lot going on so he must have forgotten. Howard played a song parody about Sal.
Gary said the video of Sal processing that was phenomenal. He said they have to put it out there. Howard said what's so funny is that teachers have to get through to the slower kids. He said you just saw the way he had to deal with Sal. Robin said he gave him the opportunity to work it out. Sal said he blames the teachers at Suffolk Community College.
Howard said the last election was sabotaged by Rush and Hackers. Sal said he sees what he did there. Gary asked if he graduated that college. Sal said he did not.
Howard asked what Sal was going to be. Sal said he was going to be an X-ray technologist. He said he was doing well. He said he had a 3.9 there. Howard said he must have had a 39. Sal said he went into sales and became a stockbroker because the opportunity was better there. He said he saw his first barium enema there in the hospital and he almost vomited when it shot all over the wall so he had to get out. He said his cousin got him into the stockbroker business.
Howard asked Sal he got his voicemail last night. Sal said he did. He said he was out trimming the trees in his yard. Howard said he called Sal because he made one of the best phony phone calls. He said he called this pizzeria because he has an obsession with them. He said this call was so great that he had to call him. He said he has this thing where he's hung up on pizza because he was traumatized as a child when his father took him to work. He said he would get beaten by his father in front of the customers. He said he had a tough time there. Howard said now Sal loves to all up pizzerias and torture them.
Howard said Dr. Drew had a theory about Sal. He played a clip of Drew talking about how the calls Sal is making are his way of getting revenge on his father.
Howard said Sal has called pizzerias and made orders in many ways. He played a montage of some of those calls where Sal has used Gary's trumpet, a dog barking, George Takei clips, whistling, Howard's Elephant Man impression and more.
Howard said this is Sal getting psychological revenge on his father. Howard said his dad would beat him in front of customers. Sal said he would get beaten by the pizza paddle and things like that. He said his father would make him work 6 or 7 days a week. He said he didn't go to graduation because his father made him work. Howard said his father is like the Joe Jackson of pizzerias. Howard said his guess is that Sal is shitty at making pizza. Sal said he actually makes great pizza.
Howard said Sal's pizza prank rampage continues. He said he called a pizza place as a guy who is deathly afraid of catching Coronavirus. He said this guy must have been going nuts. Howard played the call where Sal calls the pizzeria and says he's very paranoid about the Coronavirus. The guy said they take every precaution there so there's nothing to worry about. Sal asked if he's wearing a mask now. The guy said he was. Sal asked him to wear gloves when he makes it. He asked for them not to use cheese from Italy. The pizza guy told Sal it's all fine. Sal said he can't have sauce from Italy. The pizza guy said he'd make him a dough pie if he wants it. Sal asked if they have been in quarantine in the pizza place. The guy said he's here 15 hours a day. Sal asked if he can come in and make the pizza himself. He said he doesn't want to drop dead from his pizza. Sal said he'd hire a cleaning crew to come in and clean the place. The pizza guy said he doesn't have time for this. He said come down there and he'll sanitize him and he'll burn off every germ on his body.
Howard said that was a brilliant call. He said he sure knows how to make a phony phone call even if he doesn't know ''Rush and Roulette.'' Howard let Sal go after that.
Fred played Sal trying to say statistician. They had him trying to say Ireland. Howard was talking to the clips like it was Sal live.
Robin asked when grey heard him say Rush and Roulette. Howard said they were talking about the post office and he said it was like Rush and Roulette over in Italy. Howard said they can't correct him off the air. Sal said they made him feel like it was a brilliant analogy. He said he had to write that down. He said everyone was smiling. Howard said they all told him to save that for the air. He said he was so proud of that. Robin said he was saying it so fast it did sound like the right thing. Robin said that was wild. She said the slower it got the worse it got. Howard said Sal should be suspicious when they tell him that he's smart.
Robin said she got an email from Amazon saying they lost her order so she had to order again.
Jason told Howard that he has information about this and they have slowed the postal service on purpose and that's because of the Post Master General. He said this is by design. The caller said that they don't have an edict on this but they are slowing things down and things are staying in the distribution centers longer. He said they just do what they're told to do. Howard asked what the hell is going on.
Jason said they used to make sure all of the mail was delivered every day. He said now they're not. Howard said the Post Master General is telling them to do this? Jason said yes. He said he has eliminated overtime and he has made it a rule that there is no way you go back to get the mail that's left on the floor. He said it's a quasi independent government run thing. He said that the last Post Master General left a few months ago.
Howard said he relies on Amazon, especially during quarantine. He said now all of a sudden things are taking 2 and a half or 3 weeks to get. He asked what the fuck is going on.
Jason said this guy who is the Post Master General is a Trump supporter and he has donated to his campaign. Howard asked if this is okay. Jason said no. Howard said his head is going to explode. He said he can't take this.
Jason said the last Post Master General had a MBA and the new one went to Stetson. Howard asked if that's what's going to make America great. He asked what Jeff Bezos is saying about this. Jason said he's looking into buying up all of the empty malls and turning them into distribution centers. Howard said that guy deserves everything he makes. He said this guy made this country great.
Gary said he got a notice from his insurance company a week ago and he was threatened with his insurance being canceled. He said the bill was supposed to be there a month before and it didn't show up. Howard said this is so alarming to him. He said the mail is so important to this country. He asked why someone would want to undermine the election. He said this is what the country is about. He said he's not bright when it comes to politics but he can't get his condoms because of this. He said that he has a younger wife who needs it.
Howard said he and Beth were going to make time to have sex and Beth wanted to do it at 4pm. He said he's a spontaneous guy and wanted to have it now. He said he was going to be doing nothing at 4 but he was agitated. He said he was sexed up and needed it. Howard said he was talking to the guys about the show and Metallica coming on. He said at 4 he got a text asking if it was Bang O'clock. He said he drops whatever he's doing when it's Bang O'clock. He told her it was very witty to say that. He said she thought maybe it should be a thing. He said she thinks this could become a thing. He said it's some kind of slang so he's putting it out there.
Howard asked Jason if he has anything else to say about this. Jason said he could bum him out by going over the time line that started in April. He said it started with Trump denying relief money for the postal service. Howard said he can't take it. He said you can't get a letter delivered on time anymore.
Howard thanked the postal worker who was on the line and let him go. Howard had The Hulk on the phone who was upset about his Amazon order not showing up on time. He said he's been waiting 9 days for his order. He was freaking out saying he's going to play Rush and Roulette if he doesn't get his order.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she'll be there every day for him. She said everything in New York is horrible. She said you can get condoms in 2 hours through Instacart. She said they can get them for him so he can do bang time anytime. Howard asked if her husband wears a condom. Mariann said she's past that. She said he doesn't have to wear one now. She said it's very spontaneous and much better now.
Mariann said that she sees Amazon trucks around her area but she likes to support her local stores. Howard said he gets that. He said he has to stop talking about this because he's getting depressed.
Howard said this is all just fucking crazy. He said you'd think they'd do more research on condoms. Robin asked what he wants it to do that it's not doing. Howard said he went online and tried to find the best one. He said he ordered 5 boxes of the one that was supposed to be the best but they were horrible. He said he found something called Skyn and they say they're the best. He said he ordered them but hasn't gotten them yet.
Howard had her talk about how long it's taking for their mail to arrive. Beth said it took 3 weeks to get out to California. Howard said he likes her jammies. Beth said she has to get dressed. Howard said he wishes he looked that good.
Howard said he has to act masculine today because he had Joey King on yesterday talking about The Kissing Booth. He said that it's nice to be married to a man who is into that stuff. He asked Beth how great it is. He said they watch Real Housewives and she loves that. Beth said she can't even talk during it because he gets upset and shushes her. Howard talked about some of the things going on with Denise Richards.
Howard said Bang O'clock was great yesterday. He said he delivered the goods. Beth didn't say much and disappeared a few seconds later.
Robin talked about how ridiculous the plot of The Kissing Booth was. Howard told her to stop. Howard said Ham Hands Bill is so pervy. He said he's into Kissing Booth too and he has some audio of him talking about that. Howard said there's a moment in the movie where Joey King is in a short skirt because she ripped her pants and had to use a skirt. He said it's a critical part of the plot. He said this is Ham Hands Bill's take on that. Bill was talking about how he he likes to see panties and up skirt shots and things like that. He said the movie was good but he wanted more of that. Howard had some audio of Bill talking to Richard about that stuff.
Howard had another clip of Bill talking about how he wanted more panties to be shown. He said that you can imagine what she has down there. He said they say the lips on the face might represent the lips down below. Howard said when he says panties it's really creepy. He said he's like the creepy Richard Roeper. Howard said it's probably for the best that he's in a wheelchair. Robin said she's thinking that is for the best.
Howard said Ham Hands gave a rating for the movie and he rates then with Robin's Nipples. He played that clip and Bill said that he gives that movie 3 yummy Robin's nipples.
Howard said Sal said if you put in ''Pissing Booth'' searching for Kissing Booth this is what comes up. He played a clip from a movie where they did a Kissing Booth parody. Howard said Sal jerks off to that at Piss O'clock.
Robin said maybe it makes him feel like a performer. Howard said how about doing magic over Zoom. Robin said that will cost you a lot more.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing Mike and the Mad Dog impressions. Sour was asking Howard about Kamala and what he thinks about her. Howard said he thinks it was a good choice. He said she's a very bright woman. Sour was doing the Mad Dog impression asking about her and then he did his Mike impression and argued with himself. He was going back and forth with Mike and Mad Dog. Then Sour broke into a Metallica song singing it as Mike and Mad Dog. Robin said she never thought of that song as a duet. Sour was saying that Lars sounds like Hanzi from Canada. Mad Dog let him know they don't talk about him anymore.
Howard asked Mad Dog about sports and Sour went into his impression talking about different sports. Howard asked Mike for his opinion on that stuff and Sour would switch right over and give his thoughts on those things. Sour did the Mad Dog impression with the weird speech thing that Mad Dog has and Howard would crack up when he would say certain words.
Howard let Sour go and read some fan feedback about him. Howard said someone wrote in about the green water in his pool. Howard said it turns out they use rain water to fill that pool. Howard read more about Sour and about Lucas Dell'Abate being on the show.
Robin said that Forbes put out a list of the 10 best paid actors. She said she was looking at it and she's thinking that none of them have gone to acting school. Howard said Robert Downey Jr. must be on the list. Robin said he's not. She said The Rock is at number 1 with $87 million. Howard said that guy is a natural so he doesn't need acting school. Howard asked how long he can maintain that body. He said you see Arnold now and he doesn't look the same. He said he still looks good but not like he used to.
Robin said Ryan Reynolds, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Vin Diesel, Will Smith and Lin Manuel Miranda are on this list. Howard said this list is bogus. Robin said Adam Sandler is number 9. Howard said he believes that one. Robin said at number 10 is Jackie Chan. Howard said he believes that too. He said in Asia he's the guy. Robin asked where the actors are. Howard asked where Jackie Chan is right now. Robin said he must be wherever he's from. Robin said he's probably working on a new stunt right now.
Howard read fan feedback about Joey King's appearance and about Bobo claiming he's like a Saturday Night Live writer when he calls into the show. Howard read some feedback about the celebrities on Cameo discussion they had. He said he's read enough of that.
Howard said he has a bunch of Stern Show mentions he has to get to. He said maybe after Metallica they'll have some time to get to the rest. He said he has to take a break and then get to the guys.
Howard said the guys in the band must have been tested. He said he assumes that. Gary said he has no idea. Howard said he'll ask them. He got in a plug for Mugsy jeans who sponsored the show today. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he saw Sly on a show not too long ago and it wasn't so great. He does love the band though. He said he loves Metallica too. He said they're live from their headquarters. He said their studio looks cool too. He asked if Robin can see that. Robin said that's major. She said that's a big area. Howard said they have fuck you money so they can build that.
Howard said look at that. He said he needs a band. He was trying to get them on but it wasn't setup yet. Howard said he has to be in a masculine band like that. He said look at these guys. He said they have their guitars. Robin said they're not even dressed up. Lars said he got dressed up. He said he has his stage gear on at 4:30 in the morning.
Howard asked how the guys avoided wearing spandex like the bands were doing in the 80s. He asked if management wanted them to do that kind of thing. Kirk said they laughed at them. James said they were far too ugly to dress like women. Howard asked what they thought when they saw bands like Ratt and Cinderella dressing like that. He said they never sold out like that and he admires that. He said they must have had someone telling the to glam it up. Lars said their managers were looking after Dokken and they knew that they weren't going to be that. He said they were the antithesis to that. He said they were protective of them to stay away from all of that. He said they didn't want them to go that way. He said they had bands that were dressing down and they protected them from going the other way.
Howard said when he was growing up it was Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. He said the sound Metallica had was totally innovative. He said they must have had a talk about changing their sound to be more mainstream. He asked how you keep that integrity going and know you're on to something good. Kirk said it feels right. James said grey played what they liked. He said their influences were the European riffs and all of that. He said the music was what was the most important thing. He said they didn't want anything getting in the way of that. He said they didn't want to get stuck in costumes.
Howard asked if they laughed at bands like KISS or did they have admiration for that. Kirk said KISS did it the best. James said Alice Cooper too. Kirk said their approach was so different to theirs. He said they were based on who they were as people. He said that they weren't trying to project themselves that way. Lars said he loved KISS. He said when they were starting in 1981 they had a different thing going on. He said KISS for them was kind of cool. He said they started in L.A. and they were listening to Motorhead and bands like that. He said then they were playing shows in Hollywood and everything up there on Sunset Boulevard had that image. He said that fueled them to be the opposite of that. Lars said they were outsiders and that was their fuel. He said they felt a kinship to each other and they were fueled against the other bands who were what they didn't want to be.
Howard said when he got started he was an angry mother fucker. He said everyone sucked but him. He said he was the only thing that was worth listening to. He said he thinks they'd need that kind of anger to make it. He said he can appreciate other radio guys now but not back then. Lars agreed. He said that they had a belief in who they were and the other bands were the enemy. He said they stood in their way and they had to achieve this different music that wasn't out there in L.A. at the time.
Howard said you consider it a mission to bring something brand new to people. Howard asked if they ever had to apologize to other bands. The guys were laughing. James said yes. Kirk said they're still getting around to that. James said that fueled a lot of their angst and anger and they wanted to change radio like Howard did. He said they wanted to change their perception of music. He said college radio helped a lot. He said there were a lot of bands that were talking crap about them. He said that helped too. He said then they'd tour with bands like Motley Crue who would apologize for saying something in Cream Magazine even though they hadn't read it. Lars said they had all of the quotes put into their tour book and they got back at them by doing that. He said they had a dart board and they would throw darts at the magazines where people say stuff about them and threw darts at them. He said there's a video where he threw darts at Kip Winger and he still feels bad about that. He said that it was nothing personal against Kip. He said it feels awkward to talk about that stuff 35 years later. He said back then they wanted to fuck the whole world.
Howard said he was anti everyone in radio back then. He said he looks back on it and he wonders if he needed that energy. He said he's not sure if he did. He said it was mostly about some shit he went through in his life. He said it does drive you though. He said it's an incredible drive. He said Kip Winger works at McDonald's now. James said at least he has a job now. James said all of that had to happen for them to get to where they are now. He said it brought them to where they are now. He said the first half of our life is causing destruction and the second half is cleaning some of that up.
Kirk asked if Howard is still angry because he still has that anger. Howard said the anger is never going to go away but he has had a certain maturing. He said he's still a Led Zeppelin fan and he loves Jimmy Page and Robert Plant and all of those guys. He said he used to goof on Robert Plant and he thinks about doing that back then and you'd think he hated them. He said then he wondered why he was goofing on these guys because he thinks they're great. He said he still has that anger but he has to be up front and say he's a fan. He said he's not angry at them.
Lars said he can totally relate to that. He said they had the same kind of thing going on. James said at the end of the day they're just people to and they're trying to do the thing they love doing just like they are.
Howard said he loved seeing that rehearsal they did with Lady Gaga. He said it's mind blowing to him that Metallica teamed up with her at the Grammys. He said she walks in and she's not wearing any pants. He said he was thinking that James would want to tell her she's not wearing any pants. Howard said when they were younger they wouldn't have worked with her. Kirk said after a while you get mature about it and realize we're all in it together. James said he admires her as an artist. He said she was there hours before they got there and she's extremely creative and a fierce performer. Lars said she loves metal and she has been vocal about that. He said she told him that Metal Militia is one of her favorite songs.
Howard said he loved that rehearsal video. He said it had a lot of energy. He said he never thought that he'd see James performing with her.
Howard asked if they would ever say to someone like Lady Gaga or someone like that. The guys talked about some of the stuff they have done over the years and how they worked with Ja Rule and Swiss Beats. Lars said there's no artist they wouldn't consider if they respect them. He said they're very insular and they price themselves on doing their own thing. He said they don't run off and do guest appearances on albums. He said they're kind of protective about what they do. He said if they were to do that there is a slew of people they respect and would work with.
James said that or 100 symphony people. Howard said he was there that first time they did that. James said they know how to push each other and that was really intimidating with new people.
Howard said back in the 90s he had Steven Tyler and Papa John on the show. He said that Steven asked John if he wanted to get together and write. He said that was really out there and thinking outside the box. He said that John told Steven he didn't want to write with him. He said that was mind blowing. He said that would be an interesting thing to mesh those two worlds.
Robert told Howard he was hanging out with Lemmy and Joni Mitchell showed up. He said Lemmy looked at Joni and asked what chords she was playing and she looked over at him and called him Lenny and had a conversation with him. He said Lemmy was a huge fan of Joni's. He said he was touched to be with her. Howard said that's a good example. He said she writes great songs. He said it seems crazy but maybe there's something to that.
Howard said the Lou Reed experiment thing was great for them. Lars said Lou was right there in that room that they're in now. He said that was 8 or 9 years ago. He said they'd never say no to someone like that asking them to work with them. He said they went out and did appearances together and he will always treasure that.
Howard said Lou didn't like him and he heard he was a really angry guy. Lars said that guys from back in that day got screwed over a lot. He said it took a while but once he sensed he was safe with them things went well. He said he let his guard down and he was the sweetest man. He said they all became protective of him.
Kirk said that Lou had some rules of his own and he told him no when he stepped on the Wah pedal at one point. Howard asked why a creative guy had no's at all. He said that if you're trying to be creative then just let the guy try it. Kirk said he didn't want guitar solos either. He said he had to write Lou a letter to ask if he could do a guitar solo for a song. He said he wrote the letter and waited for an answer and he never got one. He said he showed up and Lou just said he got his email and he didn't say anything else about it.
Lars said they had a couple of guys overseeing all of that and it was a time of experiment and a time of trying new things. He said Lou would ask to try something and they'd feel their way through it. Lars said then they'd go listen to it in the recording booth and Lou was ready to go with what they had in the rehearsal. He said they hadn't even played it yet. He said it was a great summer. Kirk said that Lou liked mistakes. He said he was all for them.
Howard said he should let them play something but he gets a hold of them and he has questions. Howard asked how important it is for the brand of guitar they play. He asked if they can play any guitar. James said that he likes different brands. He said that they play different and every guitar has a unique character. He said he thinks it's great if he can get something out of it. Howard asked what he's playing now. James said he has been playing ESP since 1985. He said they make him what he likes. He said they don't say no... like Lou Reed. He said they are very accommodating. He said he likes being the big fish in the small pond. He said he'll ask for something and they'll send it out.
Howard asked if there's some sound he gets out of it that he can't get out of another guitar. James said probably. He played a riff for Howard.
Howard said he should let them play a song. He said the first one they're doing is ''Wherever I May Roam'' of the Black album. Howard said they use something called an electric sitar. Kirk told Howard about the Sitar and how it works. He said you have a standard six strings and other strings that ring out on their own. He said it creates a unique sound. Lars said they were talking about if they should start with the song or just go with the Sitar on tape or not. James said it seems like doing it on the Howard Stern Show they shouldn't do the tape. Kirk asked one of the guys to go get it for him. Howard said he'll just play it along with them himself.
Lars asked for the guys to check the sound. He said they didn't do a sound check earlier. Howard said he loved hearing that. He said he wants to do a show of that where they show how they put together a song. Howard said they'll throw him right out of the room. He said they'll think he's Kip Winger and throw him right out.
Lars asked if he plays himself. Howard said she sure does play with himself. He let the guys do their thing a short time later. They went right into ''Wherever I May Roam.''
After the song Howard said he loves that. Robin said that sounded great. Howard said Robin just whipped her breasts out. Robin asked if they saw. Howard said she took her pants off like Lady Gaga. Howard said what an energy.
Howard asked where they are and how they got into that room together. Lars said he has his mask right here. He said last week when they were rehearsing he did it all 3-4 days with his mask on the whole time. He said James has to sing. James said they were getting tested every day. Howard asked how uncomfortable that test is. James said he's kind of used to it being a singer. He said they check for nodes on your throat. He said it is not fun having a stick shoved in your face. Kirk said it reminds him of the times when he was doing a lot of drugs. Lars said that's an exclusive, Kirk used to do a lot of drugs.
Lars said they've had a great team the last 10 days. He said grey have 25-30 people there and they have their own little bubble there. He said they know what's going on with the NBA and how they're handling things. He said they feel safe and they have their own little bubble there.
Howard asked how tough it is not to be able to go on the road and play for their fans. He said they have to be careful with their crew and with their families. Howard said they can go on the road for months and is this affecting them psychologically being locked down. Kirk said he hates that they can't just go out and tour. He said they can't reach their audience and that's disappointing. He said it just plain sucks. Lars said it's good and bad for him. He said his boys are home and it's been a blessing for him with that. He said in the lst 10 years they have had a tour that works for all of them. He said they go out for 2 weeks in a row and they found balance here. He said those two weeks away on the road was just a way to get out with the boys. He said they found a way to have that balance of having 20 years not balanced. He said he misses connecting with the fans. Lars said that people have a rough go of it the past 5 months but it's been great to connect with family.
Howard asked if Lars' kids are going to be like their dad. Lars said his kids love playing and their scope is super wide and they play jazz to rock to all kinds of fusion stuff. He said they're super talented. Howard said there's a video of them playing Eleanor Rigby and it's great. He said he's very proud of them. He said it must be hard for them to have a super successful dad. Lars said they're really passionate and they are in their rehearsal room at home for many hours a day. He said it's good to see they're into it.
Howard asked James if it's difficult for him with his sobriety during the lock down. He said he even gets crazy and he doesn't mind being locked down. James said not to downplay it but it's a real blessing for him to be home in Colorado for more than 2 weeks. He said building a community is what he's doing and he doesn't have to run out on them. He said he almost has a schedule and it's been a blessing in that way. He said he totally agrees that he's a loner too and that mentality doesn't work for him. He said he does need his space and his time. He said he has fond that and he has a great community of family and friends that he's never really had before. Howard said you've never had that before and you think you don't but then you realize you do and you can admit it. James said that he's tired of pretending to be more than something human. He said he has friends who are there for him and he never had that trust before. He said he had the band but now he has more comfort in the world and there are more lifeguards than sharks out there in the world.
Howard asked James about his book about his cars and how he likes to work with his hands. Howard said he's not watching The Kissing Booth like he is. Howard said they don't even know what he's talking about. He asked James if he worries about his hands. James laughed at the question. He said his hands are there to be used. He said just like with COVID or whatever else comes their way he loves building stuff. He said that lone wolf time alone is him in his garage and building something. He said he gets lost in that and song writing. He said there's a lot of that going on.
Howard said he has to get into welding or something manly like that. He said he paints watercolors.
Howard asked if they're in L.A. They said they're in San Francisco. Lars said they're in their HQ out there. He said they made a bunch of albums there and they've done that whole thing out there for many years. He said they store everything there. He said he's not sure if Howard can see but this is Studio B and that's where they have been writing and playing for about 20 years now. He said they have flags that fans have thrown on stage and things like that. He said there's a lot of energy there.
Howard said rock and roll has to be childish and that looks like a kid's playroom to him. Kirk said they do ''play'' their instrumentations. James said they kicked Journey out of that space. Howard asked if they hated those guys. James said they weren't his favorite band at the time but he appreciates them now.
Howard said they should talk about the new projects they're up to. He said he saw them when they played with an orchestra and that was mind blowing. He said it sounded insane. He said he loved going to those shows. He said those would be in his top 5 of all the shows he's ever been to. He said they had this 70 piece orchestra there and it was meshing with the band. He asked whose idea that was. Lars said it was a guy named Michael Caymen. He said he had this vision of bringing a hard rock band and an orchestra together. He said he came to them asking if they were game. He said it took about 3 years to come to fruition. He said it took that long to write the music for the orchestra. He said they booked it for 1999 or so. He said it was Michael Caymen's idea and he passed a few years later so rest in peace to him. He said he had a lust for life and he was the maestro at the time. Lars said they did some shows in Berlin and New York to promote it and that must be when Howard saw it.
Howard asked if it took a ton of rehearsal to get that right. James said it was two rehearsals. Lars said that's true. He said everything about these undertakings is preparation. He said the orchestra plays what's in front of them. He said you have to be on top of how the song ends. He said they have to do it the same way every single time because they don't improvise in the orchestra.
Howard asked if they were insecure doing that. James said they were when they went into it. He said they wanted to jam but they just do their thing based on what's on paper. He said the second time they were more confident and more loose. He said they were more creative too. James said it felt with Michael Tilson Thomas that it was more open. He said they saw the endless possibilities with it.
Lars said that the youngest people on stage were in the orchestra. He said they were in their mid 50s and half the orchestra were younger than them. James said they were way more mature. Lars said the musicians were big Metallica fans too. He said that's a big shift. He said the differences between the rock world and the orchestra world is more or a grey area. He said it felt like they were on the same track this time.
Howard asked if they would ever have sex with someone in the orchestra. Kirk said a former band member did. Howard said he would imagine so.
Howard said they have this new S&M2 box set out. He said it's a new project and it sounds full and big. Lars said it's the 20th anniversary of the first time they did it. He said they started out with them doing a concert at an arena and they asked them to bring in an orchestra again. He said this was a great way to open the arena last year. He said the album and the project was supposed to come out a few months ago but then COVID shut things down and they had to delay it. Howard said this box set has CD, Vinyl and Blu-Ray.
Howard said the next song they're going to do is ''The Unforgiven.'' Lars said that Chad is switching guitars for James. Chad was wearing 2 masks and a face shield. Howard said he likes that the guys aren't wearing masks but Chad is. Robin said he looked like he was running in to clean their teeth.
Howard said The Unforgiven came along because of James' tumultuous life growing up. He asked if James is sad when he sings it. James said he's not and this is a good reminder of what went on. Howard said he thought that the song referred to his parents. James said maybe it is. He said there are so many layers to it. He said it applies to the whole world. James said he had a picture he drew of Earth and it went off into space and then a gallows like it was going to hang the whole world. He said good morning by the way.
Howard said James has lived through some super shitty stuff. He asked if that helps him write this stuff. James said it does help. He said if it's a human experience he should be able to talk about it or write about it. Howard said he's able to confront this stuff so that's great.
Howard asked if learning guitar was his salvation. James said it was. Kirk said it was the same for him too. He said it was instant relief from playing his guitar. Howard asked what he mastered on his guitar early on. Kirk said it was Purple Haze. He said it took him like 3 months to learn it and play it correctly. Howard asked him to play some of that. Kirk did his thing and Lars played along with him. James sang a little too.
Howard asked James what song he learned first. James demonstrated and played a little bit of Led Zeppelin's ''Stairway to Heaven.'' He had some trouble with the guitar so he was happy Howard asked him to play because The Unforgiven would have been much different.
Howard had the guys perform ''The Unforgiven.'' After the song Howard said that was ridiculously fun to watch. He said Lars hits those drums fuckin' hard. Lars said after he does a song he gets up and walks around the drums. Howard asked why that is. He asked if his hands hurt. Lars said it's the adrenaline. He said he has to be in the moment and when the song is over he has to get up and stretch or whatever to get the rest of the energy out.
Howard said a lot of bands hide the drummer. He said Lars is part of the show and a lot of bands could learn from that. He said a lot of the fun is watching him hit those drums so hard.
Howard asked Kirk about how he got his passion for this hard rock. Kirk said he was listening to what his parents listened to and then to pop radio and then his friends were playing hard rock and he loved it. He said he discovered hard rock and the feeling of it and it soothed his anger. He said he went from being an air guitar player to a real guitar player in a matter of 6 months.
Howard said he mentioned Jethro Tull and those guys aren't in the hall of fame. He asked why some bands are so disrespected. Kirk said he's not sure. He said their first 4 albums were brilliant. Howard said he saw them in concert and his head almost exploded. Kirk said there are a lot of bands that belong in the hall of fame. James said they had some really good riffs.
Howard asked Kirk about leaving home early. Kirk said he had started skipping classes and his parents took his guitar away so he left home at 17. He said he slept at a friend's house in a loft that he had to crawl into. He said he didn't speak to his parents for a while. He said they wanted him to be something he didn't want to be.
Howard said Kirk was in a band called Exodus and he left them and started with Metallica and his band was pissed. Kirk said he felt guilty about that but he felt more at home with these guys. He said he just felt better. Howard asked how he told those guys. Kirk said it was exactly what he just said. He said he just told the guys he had to be in Metallica. He said he told them all at the same time. He said they were all drunk and they hugged and started wrestling. Howard said he thought that he had a beer poured on his head by the lead singer. Kirk said that could have happened. He said they were all drunk.
Howard asked Kirk about when he found out he was in Metallica. Kirk said he found out when he was sitting on the toilet. Howard asked if his parents are happy for him now. Kirk said they are and they tell him that they were always supportive. He said he doesn't remember it that way. Howard said he won't be buying them a house then. Kirk said he actually did already. Howard said it's weird that people don't treat you well and you go out of your way to treat them well. James said that's about getting approval.
Howard said the guys are going to do the song ''All Within My Hands'' off the St. Anger album. He asked if they have anything to say about that song. Lars said they have changed the song over the years. He said it's not the same as it was on the St. Anger album. He said they like reinterpreting their songs and they like doing cover songs too. James said he thinks that this came out of people thinking they can't play acoustic. He said they welcomed train wrecks because they grew from them. He said they took this angry song from an angry album and turned it into something a little different. Howard said he loves when bands do this. He said it's great that they can take a song and go acoustic with it after people think they can't do it. Lars said that they love the craft of song writing and they love the amplification. He said there has to be a song there so if you can strip those crazy songs down then you know there's a song there. He said back in the 80s they wrote differently. He said they take their time writing songs now and put a lot of thought into them. He said at the end of the day a great song is a great song.
Howard said they're going to perform ''All Within My Hands.'' Lars had someone named Avi say hi to the guys. He was there getting their lunch orders. Lars said he actually sings backup vocals. Howard asked what his story is. Avi said he started working there after college and they found out he plays music and he sang with James once. James said he's a bluegrass style. Howard said he had a job there and then they found out he can sing so it's like A Star is Born. Lars told him to plug his band. Avi said it's called Goodnight Texas. Howard told him not to fuck up. They went into their song after that.
After the song Howard told them that was beautiful. He said that was Metallica featuring Avi. Howard said the good news is that Avi can sing but the band's lunch is cold and he has to go out and get it. James said he is still an intern. Howard said that has to be exciting. He asked how a song like that comes about. He asked who wrote that. Lars said if you could hear the original version of that he might not say it's beautiful. He said it's nasty and fucked up. He said James is screaming it. Howard said the point is a good song still sounds great after you strip it down. He said they work on any level. He said that was really beautiful. Lars said that was one of the last songs they did on St. Anger and they were creating a big racket on that one. James said loving something enough to let it go wasn't in his vocabulary. He said he remembers messing with it at Sound City maybe. He said he might be wrong about that. Lars and James came up with when they worked on that.
Howard asked if they think they stay relevant because they practice so much. James laughed. Howard said they still rehears the song, right? He said they don't just go out and play the song. Lars said he thinks that they haven't rehearsed so much. He said they're not so rigid that they let the human element get in the way. He said that's a big thing for them. He said they are comfortable with each other and letting their human side be a part of it. He said if they fuck something up they will start over. He said they get a lot of grief about that. He said the get called kind of sloppy but they like it that way. James said they're also lazy. He said they like the Punk Rock way of thinking too. He said they might be okay with it just sounding okay. He said they have been on tour with a lot of bands that were so strict with their sound. He said Queensryche was one band that comes to mind. He said their songs sounded exactly like their CD and then you wonder why you want to go see them if you can just listen to their CD.
Lars said they love punk rock and James was right about that. He said they like the early AC/DC and stuff like that too. He said it's more about a vibe and capturing a moment.
Howard asked if they dig the Ramones. They all said they do. Lars said he remembers showing his friends the album cover in 1976. He said it was Zeppelin and KISS and then The Ramones come out. He said grey were in tattered jeans and jackets and it was so cool. Kirk said it was so inspiring to see The Ramones because he didn't look like Robert Plant. He said it was more like DeeDee Ramone. James said they got to play with them. Howard said those guys fought a lot. He said they didn't get along at all. Kirk said they didn't get along at all. He said Johnny told him that they never did.
Howard said he would have them on the show and try to reunite them and it was just crazy radio.
Howard asked if they see the Rolling Stones and think grey might be together. Kirk said he can see that. Lars said if their knees and voices hold up he can see that. He said maybe it'll be 20 versions of All Within My Hands at that point. He said he thinks they have a good shot at that. He said the Stones are so inspiring.
Howard asked if Avi will still be getting lunch for then in 2050. James said not after this show. He said their little secret is ruined now.
Howard said he has to say hi to Robert who has been very quiet. He said he always seems pissed off at him. Robert said he's just observing. He said he wishes grey could be there live. Howard said Robert has so much energy. He said it's fascinating to watch him alone. He said he's so comfortable with his guitar. He said he's excited for them with their new box set and concert film coming out August 28th. He said you have to check it out. Howard said he didn't want to bother Robert because he seems pissed off at him. Robert said he loves getting up at 4:30 in the morning to play with these guys and it's great to see Howard. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard said he has done ads for the Metallica Blackened Whiskey. He asked who picks the playlist for that. Lars said grey get an email and they take turns picking the songs. He said it rotates through all four of them. He said the distiller picked the playlist for the 100th batch. He said maybe Howard could do a playlist. Howard said absolutely. He said they agitate the barrels with their music to get the taste in there. Howard asked if James has not tried it. James said he has not. He said he trusts these guys opinions on that stuff.
Howard said he sees Avi and Chad agitating the barrels right now. Howard gave them some more plugs for the S&M2 album and the whiskey.
Howard asked Robert about sharing a space with Ozzy and Ozzy asked for some drugs. Robert said he was sharing a studio with him when he was recording one of his albums and he'd disappear so people would come looking for him. He said Ozzy sang on a song with the band he was in at the time. He said he worked with Ozzy for about 7 years and that was a special moment for him. Howard said he thought he came in looking for drugs. Robert said he did. He said he came in and asked for drugs, booze or pills and they said no and Ozzy said grey were really boring. He said he has a lot of stories. The guys asked him to tell one. Robert told a story about seeing Ozzy biting the boot of a woman who came into the studio. Howard said Ozzy is the greatest. Lars said they toured with him and it was a life changing moment for them.
Robert said that James broke his wrist on a skate board once and he remembers them talking about seeing him fly by their tour bus before he wiped out.
Howard asked if they ever have Chad and Avi fight for their entertainment. Kirk said they have to starve them for a few days before they fight.
Howard said they have their concert film playing at drive in theaters for one night only. Lars told Howard there's an outfit doing an experiment with the drive in thing. He said it's coming soon to a drive in near you. He said yesterday grey recorded a special hour and 45 minute set for this drive in experience. He said there are a bunch of cities that they'll be doing it in. It's 300 theaters in the States and Canada. He said grey want to see how they can get things out there in this new world. Lars said they love experimenting and this was an interesting thing so they recorded it yesterday. He said that will play in the drive ins. James said it was a way for them to get together and jam. He said people can go out and see it and be safe in their car.
Howard asked if they're friends with Tom Morello. Lars said he is. Howard said he's really good. He said he has to let them go since they got up so early. He said he loves them and thanked them for doing this for his show and for his fans. He said they're so generous. Howard said he hopes they stay safe out there. Lars thanked Howard for having them on since this is the first time they have had a band on during COVID-19. He said it's cool grey were able to do it. He said they'll get up at 4 in the morning any time. Howard said he never wants a band to sound bad. James said ''Too late.'' Lars said it helps they're in their own space there. He said it helps a lot in their familiarity.
Howard asked when James heads back to Colorado. James said they have a couple more things to do today and he'll head home tonight. He said there's a fire out there so he may have to land in a different place. He said they're grateful that they were able to be on his show. He thanked him. Howard thanked the guys and they thanked Howard and Robin. Howard told them to be safe out there.
Howard said that sounded great. He said that he had them on because he knew it was going to sound good. He said it can be boring to have someone on over Zoom. He said people get bored if it sounds like shit. He said they worked this out so it sounded great. He said they're all together in a studio and it was great.
Howard said he thinks he's done for the morning. Robin said that Sean Penn just got married and he married Vincent D'Onofrio's daughter. Howard said no kidding. Robin said she was just reading about that. Howard said that's good because they can all hang out since they're all actors. Howard said that would be like if Bubba the Love Sponge married one of his kids. Robin said they said she was 24 but now they say he's 59 and she's 28. Howard said no big deal. He said that's what Ronnie told him. Robin said congratulations to all of them.
Howard got in another plug for Mugsy Jeans who sponsored the show today. Howard ended the show around 10:30am.