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Howard started the show talking about how he was busy talking to the guys about people in show business who are gay and still in the closet. He said look at Fred's lifestyle. Robin said a friend of her's was quite taken with Fred this weekend. She said they had dinner and went to the Peter Frampton concert. Robin said Gary was there too. She said her friend was talking about how wonderful Fred was. Howard asked if she was super hot. Robin said they're all older at this point. Howard said Fred is a charmer. Robin said Fred is nice to everyone.
Howard asked if Robin invited Fred. Robin said they invited her. She said it was Fred, Jon, Gary, Steve Brandano... Howard and Fred did their Steve voices. Howard said they're becoming buddies Fred and Steve. He said he thinks they coupled up. He said it's like a brain trust.
Howard said it was Jon Hein, Fred, Steve, Robin and they all sat together. Robin said yeah. Howard said what a cool group. Robin said the thing that cracked her up was the dinner reservation. She said they had it at one place but Steve found a cooler place. She said she thought that was funny. She said the first one was too clubby and loud. She said the new place was much more appropriate.
Howard asked if Fred gets together with Brandano a lot. Fred said he has gone to like 3 concerts with him. He said he's his concert date. Howard asked who puts the guest list together. Fred said Steve is the concierge. Howard and Fred did more of their impressions of Steve.
Howard asked where they went to dinner. Robin said it was a place called Legacy Records. Howard asked why they call it that. Fred said that's not clear. Robin said there are no records inside but there is one outside. Howard asked who paid. Robin said everyone threw in a credit card.
Howard said then they all went to the Frampton concert. Robin said yeah. She said Jon did not join them for dinner. She said he must have taken a look at the menu and didn't like it. She said he got a hot dog at Madison Square Garden instead. Fred said Jon got 2.
Howard asked if Frampton was good. Robin said he was really good. Howard asked who opened for him. Robin said Jason Bonham. She said he has his own band. Howard asked if Sammy Hagar was there. Robin said he was not. She said this is Jason's own band.
Robin said she was very lucky to be in the cool crowd. Fred and Howard kept doing their Steve Brandano voices. They were talking about all of the cool stuff he sees.
Howard said that's how Robin ended up at Frampton. He said she left out the Fred part when he spoke to her. Robin said when Frampton announced he was on his last tour she said she has to get to see him. She said she told her friend this. Robin said they saw him in Ohio many years ago. She said she told Steve she wanted to go to that concert. She said she didn't realize all of the other guys were going too. Howard said she was with the cool guys.
Howard said it's no wonder Jon didn't go to Legacy Records. He saw they have duck on the menu. Gary said Jon claims he came right from work that day and it had nothing to do with the menu. Howard said sure it didn't. Gary said Jon got 2 hot dogs there.
Howard said he has Rocky Pendergast on the phone. He's calling in from Legacy Records. He did his thing and talked about how it's better than Largo at Legacy Records. He talked about the crazy meals they have there. Then he ate something and choked on it and hung up.
Howard said he's snorting into the microphone. He said he laughs like that sometimes. He said he laughs like an animal. Robin said Howard missed a fun, cool night.
Howard said he remembered hearing these DJs talking about bands and he wanted to be like that. He said this woman Maxanne Sartori was a big fan of Ric's and she would have him on her show in Boston. He said that they don't even know how old Ric really was. He said he was either 70 or 75. He said he's not sure how they don't know. He said Ric was able to keep his real age quiet.
Robin said when they said he was 75 he didn't think he was that old. Howard said when he married Paulina he thought that he looked like him. He said he figured he had to get famous quick if he could get her. Howard said it was the greatest thing ever. He said he hung that picture up and said he has to get into show business now.
Howard said he saw a picture of himself last week and Beth sent it to him. He said he was shocked by how bad it was. He said he needs to get plastic surgery. He said he watched that Roger Ailes show and he figured that girls reacted to him like they did with Roger. He said he looks in the mirror and he thinks he looks youthful. He said then he sees the picture and he's shocked. He said he's not sure how she has sex with him. Howard said Beth is his Paulina. Robin said he did get his Paulina then. Howard said it's shocking. He said thank god for fame. He said it's pretty awesome.
Robin said Ric and Paulina had separated. Howard said they say she found the body. Robin said they were having a friendly divorce. Howard asked what that is. He said he has no idea. He said she discovered the body. He said you'd think she'd let someone else discover it. Howard said he's wondering what she was doing there.
Howard said he was checking out Ric's glasses and he thinks that he might need to get something bigger. He said he has bifocals and he's not seeing things clearly. He said he needs bigger glasses like Ric had. He said he had Mr. Magoo specs. He said he's thinking of doing that. He said he doesn't care about trying to look good anymore. He said he has hit the wall hard.
Howard said he's a 3 but with fame they add 5 points so he's an 8. He said thank god he's famous. He said he's so awkward when he's with people. He said people come over and hug him and say hello. He said he's normal and people think he's so nice. He said he's really not. He said you're just used to famous people saying ''fuck you.''
Howard said he remembers being not famous. He said he coined the phrase ''Never forget.'' He said it refers to never forgetting when you weren't famous. He said his best friend was Dr. Lou and he was very handsome and he was his friend. He said everyone else was shunning him but Lou stayed his friend. He said on the rare occasion when he had a girlfriend they just wanted to be with a freak. He said he was an experiment.
Howard said fame saved his life. He said that Robin would tell him about going out to eat alone and there's no way he can do that. He said he's not sure what to do with himself. He said the food comes and he's not sure what to do. He said he can't function without being famous. He said it's just not good for him. He said if you're alone and eating and you get food do you talk to yourself. Robin said you do what you do if someone is there with you. Howard asked if you look at other people. Robin said of course. Howard said he'd just want to get out of there. He said he'd be so nervous. He said it's a disaster.
Howard said when he got famous all of his problems were erased. He said there are problems like wondering if people like you or not. Robin said it's better to have people acting like it than having people not like you. Howard asked who wants reality. He said thank god for fame. He said his wife is the nicest person. He said she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen. He said she's lovely. Howard said they walk in a room, forget about it. He said if he could he would rather have looks like Brad Pitt or Bradley Cooper. Robin said she doesn't think he could handle it. Howard said she might be right. Robin said it might be too much.
Howard said imagine you have people liking you in high school and that continues in life. Howard said on Bachelor in Paradise there was a guy. He said he won't spoil it but this guy Dean is really good looking and there's a really good looking girl who is in love with him but the guy lives in a van. He said the girl wants to try living there. He said the guy told her that he may not shower for a week at a time. He said she can towel off. Howard said imagine this girl is willing to do that because this guy is so good looking. Howard said he sees why people want to be famous. He said it's a glamorous life.
Howard took a call from a woman who wasn't responding right away. He told her to just talk. The caller, Isabella, said in Private Parts he looked like a nerd. She said her husband is his completion. She went ''Ha!'' and hung up. Howard said what a fucking asshole. He said there are so many dumb people out there. He said he was talking to someone this weekend about politics. He said he was talking about how upset he is with Donald Trump.
Howard said that bird they had rescued ended up dying. He said it was a Gannett. He said the oceans are full of poisons and pesticides and that's what fucked it up. He said Obama put in some stringent clean water restrictions. He said he was reading about this in the paper. He said the pesticides are getting dumped right into our water supply. He said everyone wants to drink clean water. He said Donald somehow eliminated the clean water stuff. He said that he had promised some farmers that he'd do this. He said he did it to get a couple of farmers to vote for him.
Howard said he was talking about the clean water thing and then he hears this guy say ''fuck you... you're a liberal.'' Howard said he's not a liberal. He said he's talking about clean water. He said that you can't just dump this stuff on your land it if goes into the water supply.
Howard said he was reading about Trump getting rid of all of these environmental things. He said he doesn't get that. He said he thought Donald loved his kids. He said maybe he thinks they'll have clean water. Robin said they will and poor people won't.
Howard said he has people who are pissed off at him for being too liberal and too conservative. He said both sides think he's leaning the opposite way. He said it's just fucked up.
Howard said he's not sure why you'd be against clean water and stringent control. He said if you see a farmer dumping pesticides into the water you'd be pissed. He said he's so distressed about what's going on.
Howard said back to Ric Ocasek... He said he was thinking about how he looks like him. He said they ran into each other at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame last year. He said they said a quick hello. Robin said they had dinner with them one night. Howard said that was years and years ago. He said it was at Mr. Chow's or something like that. He said Ric is really skinny so he wanted to see what he ate. He said it was a bunch of them at this dinner. He said it was a million years ago. He said Ric was wearing that outfit that he wears with the giant shoulder pads in the jacket. He said he had the special sunglasses that were dark too. He said he might buy those sunglasses to honor Ric.
Howard said he liked The Cars music. He said they were really good. Howard said they called it New Wave music but Ric just thought it was rock and roll. He said he didn't think it was new wave. Howard said Ric's grandmother got him to sing in church and got him a guitar at 14. Robin said he didn't stick with it back then. Robin said he was reintroduced in his later teens and then it stuck.
Howard said the first single was ''Just What I Needed.'' Howard played some of that. He said Benjamin Orr sang on that one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he really has to stay off politics. Howard said no he doesn't. the caller said he sounds like he gets talking points from the NY Times. Howard said of course he does. He said try reading it. The caller said the 85 regulations that Trump has gotten rid of he'd like Howard to mention 2 or 3 of them. Howard said people are dumping pesticides into our drinking water. He asked him why he doesn't drink that stuff. The caller said we have the cleanest water in the world. Robin asked if it's going to stay that way if they take away the clean water standards.
Howard said he loves it when someone says he gets his talking points from the NY Times. He said that's the greatest newspaper in the world. Robin said the President has convinced them that they lie. Howard said if they lie then everyone lies.
Howard said lets get back to Ric. Howard played ''My Best Friend's Girl'' by The Cars. He said that he loved ''Good Times Roll'' too. He played some of that. He said this was his favorite.
Howard said Ric met Paulina when she was shooting the video for the song ''Drive.'' He played some of that song too. He said Benjamin Orr sang that one too. Howard said that's his point about fame. He said Paulina ended up marrying her. Howard said they also had that song ''You Might Think'' and played that. Howard said this video had Ric popping up in weird places around a model. He said he figured that was the best way to meet models. He said the video cost about $80,000 to make. He said that was about triple the cost of making a video. He said it won a Video Music Award in 1984. Howard said they sold 33 million records. He said you can't do that anymore.
Howard said the band broke up in 1988. He said they got back together and called themselves The New Cars. Robin said Ric wrote all of the songs. Howard said they got together with Todd Rundgren and played some new songs. He said they broke up a year later. He said The Cars got back together and toured. He said Ric produced for Weezer, No Doubt and others. He said they say he died of natural causes. Robin said they say it looked like he died of natural causes and nothing suspicious.
Howard said he has to take a break soon. He said he has to learn how to do that. He took a call from a guy who said that no one believes what's happening down the line. He said Howard is doing just fine. He said with his employees if they're all bitching he must be doing the right thing. Howard said he doesn't like this idea that people mistrust the NY Times. He said if you don't trust the NY Ties what do you trust? He said people don't trust the FBI, CIA or government. He asked where they get their information from. He said they trust FOX News. The caller said they all just have to come to the middle like Howard. Howard said he doesn't want to talk about politics on the show.
Howard said he wants to go on and talk about his book on Ellen's show. He said he's looking forward to that. He said they have a thing about scaring people. He said he doesn't want that. He said he might punch someone. He said he doesn't want to be up on manslaughter charges. He said he's looking forward to the conversation.
Howard said he did an interview with George Stephanopoulos and they didn't scare him. Robin said Howard surprised him with a question about his sex life though. Howard said they have hung out with George and Ali Wentworth and they talked about sex with them. He said Ali claims that they have sex almost every night. Howard said he was counting the number of times he and Beth have sex and it's not that much. He said he asked George about it in the interview and he was sweating. He said George claims it's not true.
Howard said he heard George wants to come on the show. Gary said he hasn't heard anything. Howard said they might have to book him.
Howard said they're going out to L.A. and he's going to go on these shows and do a commercial for his book. He said they'll do some shows and get it done. He said coordinating it is difficult. He said booking the shows has been tough but they have it all worked out. He said he's not sure why they care about doing shows from L.A. but people do. He said he heard from a lot of people who want to stop by out there. He said it's going to be good. They had a song about the trip to L.A. They sang about how they're going with everyone but Benjy.
Howard said they had a meeting on Thursday morning and they had a list of people who need to go. He said they can't bring everyone. He said it's cost prohibitive. He said they're going out there and Benjy was mentioned as someone who should come. He said people might be interested in what goes on with him out there. Gary Benjy was talking about walking there or walking home. Howard said he thinks they were going to bring him out there. He said there was a lot of back and forth on that. Robin asked if he was the cut off point. Howard said he was. He said he was torn. He said he thinks some of the audience might be interested in hearing about him out there. He said he thought that he might do something interesting out there. He said they don't want him to work too hard.
Howard said it's just so weird. He said he thinks Brent is going to go to L.A. He said he's made a big splash lately with his swinging stories and the Rapaport fight. He said he doesn't understand Brent's marriage. He said he has permission to fuck girls in L.A. without his wife there. He said he just has to tell her about it when he gets home. Howard said he thinks his wife just wants permission to fuck guys while he's away.
Howard asked Brent to come in and talk about this. He said if a woman wants to have sex he can do it and he has to tell his wife. Brent said he has to tell every detail. Howard said she can fuck whoever she wants while he's away. Brent said that's correct. Howard said he hopes this all works out. Brent said she brought it up before. He said she told him that he has pre-permission to have sex. Howard asked if that bothers him on some level. Brent said not at all. Howard said you'd think the wife would be jealous a little bit. Howard said he has a fantasy about fucking a black chick out there. Brent said that would be fantastic.
Robin said what's going to happen is not going to be good for Brent. She said Katelyn is going to fuck her brains out and Brent is still looking for a black woman. Brent said that's fine. He said it could happen. He said he gets why people don't understand this. He said they think it's weird. He said he's fine with that.
Howard asked if he has anything figured out. Brent said he has texted this one woman out there. He said his wife is fine with it. He said she helped him craft his text so he didn't come off weird. Howard asked Brent if he told Katelyn not to fuck in their bed. Brent said not at all. He said he's fine with that.
Howard said he's trying to be understanding there. Brent said it's just sex. He said it's kind of a religious way of looking at it. He said she's his partner in life and sex is another thing. Howard said he's saying that being with just one person sexually is a crazy thought. Brent said he summed it up perfectly.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he doesn't understand this. He said it's cool if he goes to L.A. to fuck but his wife isn't supposed to be with other men. He said that means she doesn't like you. Brent said this is the flaw in his thinking. King said he can prove it. Howard said he doesn't need to prove it. King went on anyway. He said if he goes out and hangs with his friends he'll come home and feel bad about it. He said if his wife comes home after fucking someone he's going to kick her out of his fucking house. Howard hung up on him.
Howard asked Brent how he'll feel if Katelyn fucks a couple of dudes and he doesn't get anyone out there. Brent said he'll be okay. He said it could go the other way too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he feels like they have watched Brent and Katelyn progress to the point where he can fuck in L.A. and she can fuck in New York. He said he doesn't feel like this is good. Howard said he agrees. He said the swinging is one thing but this is different.
Howard asked if it's going to be weird if she wants to go live with someone for 10 months of the year. Brent said that's not going to happen.
The caller asked if it's something different than swinging. Brent said it's called an open marriage. He said it's a different thing than swinging.
Howard asked if he will raise the child if she gets pregnant by another guy. Brent said he's out. He said he made the choice not to parent. He said he won't do it for any reason.
Howard said Shuli is going around saying Brent won't get laid and Katelyn will bang like 15 guys. Brent said of course he's saying that.
Howard asked if he had any Rapaport interaction over the weekend. Brent said he didn't. He said he doesn't even think about him.
Shuli came in and said he's going to be on Brent out in L.A. He said he wants to see this once and for all. He said he's going to stay back from him and not fuck him up. He said he's rooting for him. He said he wants to see him get laid out there. He said he'd also like that they have the same room. Howard said that is happening. Brent said no way. Howard said he has to do that. Howard said they can have separate beds. He said maybe they need to share a bed. Brent said he needs time away from Shuli because he's with him all day.
Howard said he heard that Brent wants to go to the Rainbow Room to find women out in L.A. Shuli said he has to see what he's wearing there. He said he has a lot of questions. Howard said they're going to put them in a room together. Brent said please no. Shuli said he wanted to drive back together in a car and Brent almost punched him in the face. Brent said he can't do that with Shuli.
Howard took a call from fake Katelyn who wished Brent luck out in L.A. She was in bed with someone right now. She said that he can stay out there a year if he wants to. She was getting pounded while telling him it's okay to stay away for a year.
Howard took a call from Pinocchio who said that Brent is going to get laid a lot out there. His nose grew every time he said something about Brent.
Howard said they look forward to the L.A. trip. He said they want to know it all. He said Brent will be soft swinging out there. Howard played a song parody about Brent. They went to break after that.
Howard said he has to mention Valerie Harper and Eddie Money. He said Valerie Harper died recently and she gave him a word, when she was on the show, so when she died and someone can talk to dead people they can find out if it's real. Howard said that's what Houdini did and his wife figured out that psychics back then were not real. Howard said he and Valerie know the word and that's it.
Howard said he told psychics if they think they can come on the show and tell him the word they can come on. He said they contacted over 20 so called psychics and none of them want to come on the show. Howard said Beth asked what the word is and he won't tell her. He said they tell each other everything but he can't tell her. He said he has to keep this so pure. He said it caused a bit of a fight. He said Benjy used to work at a psychic hotline and he had a script to go by. He said people get bilked on these things. He said to prove the point they called 20 psychics and 9 of them hung up immediately. He said one person tried to make a connection but wasn't able to do it. He said one person came up with a story about how she has to hold something Valerie owned. Howard said the other 9 gave a word.
Howard said this is the first psychic who claimed he contacted her. Howard played the clip and the guy said he feels like it's ''nose.'' Howard said he thought wrong. He said he'd be thrilled if a psychic could do something like this. Howard said he's hearing nose because he ''knows'' nothing.
Howard played another psychic saying that the word is ''depiction.'' Howard said he's wrong there too.
Another psychic said that the word is ''fortitude.'' Howard said that guy is wrong too. Robin said it's just a word and not a sign of anything.
Another psychic said the word is ''peace.'' Howard said here's another one. He played the clip and the woman said it was ''inspirational.'' Howard said none of them got the word.
Howard said here's another one. the woman said the word is ''love.'' Howard said she's wrong.
Howard said here's the headline: Psychics are full of shit. Howard played another one where a woman said that the word is ''carriage.'' Howard said bullshit would be a better word. Howard said Valerie is the one who came up with the word.
Howard said they're down to two more psychics. He played another one where the woman said the word is ''Go for it.'' Howard said that's three words. He said that would be a dumb word to share.
Howard said this is their last chance. He said this is the final psychic. He played the clip and the woman said that the word she's getting is ''Baseball.'' Howard said that's a good word but not the word. He said no one got it right. He said he's rooting for these people to get it but he thinks there is no way to contact this other life.
Howard asked if Sal has heard from the Long Island Medium or Tyler Henry. Sal said he has not heard from her. Howard asked if she wants to come in and tell them the word. Sal said he hasn't spoken to her in 2-3 months. Howard asked how none of these people can get the word. Sal said these psychics aren't that good then. Howard asked if the Long Island Medium is good. Sal said he thinks she is. He said he thinks that she can translate and say other things. Howard said that's not what he wants. Howard said there are only 200,000 words in the English language. He said she must be able to get it.
Howard asked if Sal's dog came to her. Sal said it visited him in his dream. He said it's called a visitation when it happens in a dream. Howard said he thinks he was visited by his dog. Sal said it was a visitation. Howard said it's a dream. He said he's just thinking the dog visited him. Sal said he's going to explain it. He said it came to him and it was glowing. He said it licked his face and it felt very real and it was near the one year anniversary of her death. Howard said it's a dream. Sal said technically it is. He said that's a good time for spirits to visit you. Howard asked how he knows so much about this. Sal said he reads up on this. Howard asked where he reads about this. Sal said he reads online of course. Rob said he also read about how to treat his cholesterol. Sal said he dropped it by about 45 percent thanks to Howard.
Howard said he hopes when he dies he visits him so he can hit him on the head with a pipe. Sal said this was something special. He said the dog was looking up at him and thanking him. Howard said he's so glad he works there. He said he might have a lower IQ than they tested. Robin said this is a visitation because it feels real. Robin said she had a visitation from Jackie Jokeman who came to her in a dream and had sex with her. She said it felt real to her. She asked if that was a visitation. Sal said he's alive so it's not the same thing.
Howard said it's an obvious visitation if the dog is glowing. Robin said he could feel it licking him. Howard said he's convinced that Sal wouldn't be making money anywhere else and he'd be homeless. He said he has to do another contract just so Sal has a job.
Howard took a call from Sal's dog who was barking to answer his questions. The dog said he didn't visit Sal. Sal said cut it out with that nonsense. Howard asked if the dog thinks Sal is a dumb ass. The dog barked yes.
Sal said his dog said goodbye to him. Robin asked if it was in English. Sal said no, it was in Yugoslavian. Sal said there's something called projection. He said the dog was able to project his goodbye. Sal said he just knows it. Robin said it's not a fact then. Sal said it is to him.
Howard asked how old he was when he levitated in his bed. Sal said he was 15 or 16. Howard asked if that was a dream or a visitation. Sal said he's not sure what it was but it might be sleep paralysis or astral projection.
Howard asked Sal's dog if he hates Sal. The dog barked yes. He was happy to get away from Sal too.
Howard asked Sal to get his friend the Long Island Medium to come in there. Sal said the invitation is out there. He said you don't need a word to get some faith. He said Robin took Ayahuasca to find something. Howard said that's not why she did it.
Howard asked when the dog passed. Sal said it was last year on September 7th. Howard asked when the dog came back to visit him. Sal said it was a day before the one year passing. Howard asked if the dog visited him in the dream. Sal said he was dreaming but in the dream the dog visited. Howard said he wants to ask the dog another question. Howard asked if it was tough to live with someone so stupid. The dog barked once for yes.
Howard asked if a fly dies does it go to heaven. Sal said he hasn't been visited by any. Robin asked if anyone else has visited Sal. Sal said he has had his grandparents. He said his dog was glowing white and that was beautiful. He said that's all that matters. Robin said his dog also said goodbye. Sal said she did. He said he doesn't judge anyone else and believe in what you want.
Howard asked if he thinks the mouse he killed in the mouse trap will visit him. Sal said he doesn't think so. Howard asked about the cows that he eats, do they visit him. Sal said they do not.
Howard said Sal believes that the dog said goodbye to him and also came to visit him in a dream. Howard asked Sal's dog if he was upset that Sal was his owner. The dog barked once for yes. they asked the dog if it feels smarter than Sal. It barked once for yes again.
Howard said enjoy your afterlife Cinnamon. Howard asked why they named it that. Sal said his son named it that because of the color of her coat. Howard asked the dog if he ever saw Sal in his Beastie Boys outfit. The dog barked yes. Howard asked Sal if the guy from the Beastie boys ever visited him. Sal said he hasn't.
Robin asked if the dog has only spoken to him once. Sal said this was a time when the dog came to him and said goodbye. Ralph was on the phone laughing at this whole thing. He said the dog talked to him just that one time.
Howard said if Sal can spell Cinnamon. Sal did it and got it right. Sal said the dog is his wallpaper on his computer.
Ralph said just because these people can't get Valerie Harper's word doesn't mean there is no life after death. He said maybe it's hard to connect. He said there have been billions of people on this world so it has to be hard to find that one.
Howard said Mother Angelica wants to speak to Sal from the dead. Howard took the call from Mother Angelica who said that she's never heard a bigger idiot on the show all these years than Sal. She said it's just so sick.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his IQ is dropping just listening to this show today. He said that Ralph doesn't get what Howard is saying about not getting the word. He said he just said that psychics can't talk to dead people. He said he didn't say anything about the afterlife. He asked Howard not to encourage Sal and Bobo to vote. Sal asked if he believes in God. The caller said of course not. He said there is nothing to prove there is a god. Sal said just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Sal voted for Trump in 2016 and he said he's not going to talk about his political beliefs anymore. Howard asked if he really believes his dog visited him in his dream. Sal said he does. He said just because this caller doesn't believe he's thinking that other people are idiots. He said just because he believes in the afterlife and God this guy thinks he's an idiot. He said he believes that people do have powers. He said he has educated himself. He said Robin did that by taking Ayahuasca. Howard said Sal is so smug in his idiocy. Sal said just because you don't believe in god you don't have to be smug about it. Howard asked why the dog only spoke to him when she was dying. Sal said the point he was trying to make was that his dog said goodbye the day she died. He said she waited for him to come home that day. Howard said maybe she died that day and it was coincidence. Sal said no. He said it waited for him to come home.
Sal said when he came home he'd give the dog a treat. He said she would come up to him and take it. He said that day she ignored the treat and looked up at him. Sal said he took the treat and shook it under her nose. He said he looked at her and dropped it down in front of her. He said she looked up at him and he said she's getting old. He said he sat in his chair and the dog came up to him and put her paws on his knees and looked at him. He said she went to the door and went outside and died. Howard asked when she said goodbye. Howard said his makeup is running now. Sal was crying. Howard said go sit in his room and cry. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that if you came there for anything heavy this isn't the place. Howard said he was saying during the break that he doesn't think that Sal could find a job anywhere else. He said they had a mock job interview with him and the head of H.R. He wanted to play that but they didn't get it pulled during the break. Howard said forget it. He said he wanted to hit the clip as soon as he got back from break. He said he was snagged again.
Howard said he'll move on. Robin said she was telling someone about Sal and this mock interview. She said she figured there was no way he'd get hired. Howard said he has it now. He played a clip of Sal telling the woman that people would probably say he's a racist, creep, idiot and other things. She asked why and Sal said they only hear what he says. Howard said thank god he's not that dumb. He said he told Sal when you go for a job interview you don't tell them that. He said you tell them that you may seem distant because he works so hard. Howard said you say you get to work early and people say stuff about you. He said Sal tells you that he's dangerous in the workplace. He said he's most likely to shoot up everyone there.
Howard said what an idiot but he loves the guy. He said he talks about his dog saying goodbye to him. He said the dog was glowing in the dream so it was a visitation. Howard said he loves Sal.
Howard said he meant to ask if he's vaping again. Robin said she thinks he has. Howard said he guarantees he has. Fred said he's going to give him the befit of the doubt and say he has not. Howard said Sal doesn't have the will power. Robin said the there day he had a fake crisis and had to vape.
Howard asked Sal if he has vaped. Sal said he has quit so Fred is right. He said on Saturday night he did vape a little bit. Howard said Fred is wrong then. Sal said he is right. He said he did quit. Howard said he can't believe he got sucked back in but he fascinates him. Howard asked if you say you quit eating chocolate ice cream and then have some on Saturday night, did he quit? Sal said you had a relapse. Sal said he quit and he had a relapse and then quit again. He said he had a relapse. Howard said he agreed with Robin that he vaped again. Howard said they can't both be right. Sal said he quit and had a relapse. Sal said he started a little bit and quit again. Howard said the simple answer is that he tried to quit and wasn't able to. He said now he's trying again. Sal said he quit. Howard said he quit and then started again. Sal said he quit, start, quit. Robin said that's like saying you quit after every time you vaped.
Howard said if he went to Alcoholics Anonymous and got a sober chip, he's off it for 30 days, and then he goes back to drinking, is he sober. Sal said no. Howard said alright then. Robin said that's the same thing with vaping. Sal said between the two of them... Howard said he claimed he quit and he didn't. Sal said he did quit that day. He said on Saturday night they were drinking and playing poker and he vaped. Howard asked who ''they'' were. Sal said he has friends who he was hanging out with playing poker. Howard said he didn't win did he. Sal said not this time.
Sal said he vaped a little bit that night. He said he told his kids he's giving it up. He said he hasn't done it in a day and an eighth now.
Howard took a call from Wolfie and asked where he's been. Wolfie said he's been busy with work. He said that woman Sal did the interview with is a friend of his and she was so creeped out by Sal. He said that she did one with Tan Mom that same day. Howard said Tan Mom may have done a better job. Sal told Wolfie to go blow his nose. Wolfie said the worst part was that Sal brought up Piss Porn in that interview. Sal said he brought it up because he was telling her about his past. Howard said it was a job interview. Howard said piss porn freaks him out and that was a woman. He said you're trying to get a job. He said he didn't just say he enjoys looking at naked women. He said that's bad enough.
Wolfie said that woman asked if Sal sill has a job. Howard said he has to keep his job just so Sal has a job. He asked Sal if he thinks he could get a job. Sal said he thinks he could. Wolfie asked what he would do. Sal said he doesn't understand what he's asking. He said his nose is full of jizz. He said he has to blow it.
Howard asked Wolfie to repeat his question. He asked again what Sal would do if Howard retired. Sal said he'd look for a job. He said he'd put together a resume and find a job. Robin asked what field. Sal said radio. He asked what field Robin would go into. Robin said she was just wondering if he has dreams about going back into the financial industry. Sal said he's sorry about that. Howard thanked everyone for all of that.
Howard said he has to have a meeting with Gary about the sound of the microphones. He said there's too much hiss. He said he can barely hear the phone calls.
Howard said Kristin Cavallari got into trouble for tweeting out a picture of herself in a sexy outfit on 9/11. He said she fired her social media manager after that.
Howard said Lenny Dykstra had the best tweet. He said he said anyone born on 9/11 is no longer jail bait. He said that he had to apologize and he blamed his intern for posting that. He wondered how he has an intern. Robin asked what the intern does for Lenny. Howard said he doesn't believe there is an intern.
Sal said Farrah Abraham tweeted that she and her daughter were going to honor 7/11. Howard said people are nuts. He said don't share your every thought. He said there is this desire to be seen and be famous. He said they want to be noticed no matter what. Robin said celebrities want to be seen commenting first. She said they're immediately on Twitter when someone passes away. She said that's not sincere. Howard said it looks weird to him and it seems self serving. Howard said it's a no win situation. Howard said he has had that desire but he thinks it's a stupid idea and doesn't do it.
Howard said he saw that Bernie Sanders and Cardi B were doing an interview. Howard said he doesn't know about this. He said politicians try to do anything to be related to. He said a lot of politicians are doing stuff like that. Howard said he saw that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was on a video game playing with people and talking politics. Howard said she's just trying to be relateable. He said it's all just so fucked up.
Howard said by trying to look relateable it never works out. Robin said it shows you're not. She said you wouldn't have to do it if you were relateable.
Howard said Cardi B is pretty hard core. He played a clip of Cardi going on and on about fucking in the dark and how that's the best way to have sex. She said she wants to fuck with the TV on. Howard said Fred is nodding to that. Fred said he's in full agreement. Howard said he likes to do it in the dark too. He said he lowers the shades in the room to just have enough light so he can see Beth but she can't see him.
Howard said Bernie Sanders seemed impressed with the questions Cardi had for him. He played some audio of that interview.
Howard said he likes when she's kind of toning it down. He said Cardi was trying to be presidential herself. Howard played a few bits they put together with a fake Cardi B and fake Bernie Sanders.
Howard said politicians are desperate to get on shows they don't get on. He had a clip of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Donkey Kong 64. He said this is a show where guys play Donkey Kong 64. He said it was on a Twitch stream. Howard said she was on there trying to be more relateable. Howard played some audio of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez talking about equal rights for all while guys were playing games. Howard said just go on Meet the Press or something. Robin said she felt she had to reach this guy.
Howard said how about just quit doing cocaine. Jake said yeah. Howard said just have a long, hard discussion with himself. Jake said he has been thinking about it. He said he has to hide it from his girl. Howard said it's either turn in everyone who has dealt cocaine or go after the cartels. He said that could take a lifetime.
Howard said or he could take personal responsibility and just quit. Jake said he could do that. He said if he snitches the guy might want to get revenge on him. Jake said that he doesn't know where he lives. Howard said he's going to find another dealer if he gets rid of this guy. Jake said he isn't into it that far. Howard said he could go back in time and kill the person who invented cocaine.
Howard said how about putting cement in your nose so you can't snort it anymore. He said the easiest thing would be just stop doing it. The caller said that it's becoming a pattern and he knows he should quit. He said he was going to go the anonymous route and turn the guy in. He said he tried it about 9 months ago and 6 months ago. He said they didn't pick the guy up.
Howard told Jake that he was very heavy at one point in his life. He said he went to Roy Rogers and he thought about having them stop making fast food but he just stopped eating fast food. He said his advice to him is to stop calling the hotline and just give up.
Howard said this guy is fascinating. He said he's like Sal. He said he'd like to give him a number to call into when he has ideas like this. He asked if he has the ability to make phony phone calls. Jake said he'd love that. Howard asked if his dog has ever come to him in a dream. Jake said he sleeps with his dog every night. Howard asked if he has ever had an extraterrestrial experience. Jake said he has had an out of body experience. Howard asked if he jerks off at work. Jake said he has never done that. He said he keeps that at home.
Howard said that was Jake in Arizona. He said he was watching Bam Margera on Dr. Phil and it was one of the best episodes he's ever seen. He said Robin needs to see that. He said he's never seen anything like it. Robin said she thought that was the best idea to turn in his dealer so he can't do cocaine anymore. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard asked what they were just talking about. Robin said they were talking about Rihanna. Howard said he's not sure why it's so hard to make music. Robin said Peter Frampton had a huge smile on his face the whole time he was performing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's assuming the guy who was talking about his coke dealer is white. He said he's the prime example of white privilege. His phone was cutting out so Howard had to let him go. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying there. He said it was an interesting thought to turn on the world instead of just stopping doing coke.
Robin said there's so much stupidity out there. Howard said there's still stories about white guys dressing up in blackface. Robin said either that or some kid gets other kids to give the Nazi salute.
Howard said Eddie Money died. He said he wanted to mention that. He said Eddie was on the show a couple of times. He said hew as a great guest. He said he always thought his music was great but they say his music was treated as a joke. He said he had like 12 hit songs. Howard said Eddie was 70 years old. He said he had announced he had Esophageal cancer recently. He said that's a nasty one to get. He said he had a reality show and he announced it there. Howard played a clip from that show where Eddie was talking about that.
Howard said Eddie had his first album in 1977. He played ''Baby Hold On To Me'' and read some details about the song.
Howard said Eddie was on the show once and Dee Snider was in singing ''Baby Hold On to Me'' with everyone. He said Eddie wasn't singing so much. Howard played the clip and Eddie was singing a little bit. Howard said it seems like Eddie liked it when Dee was singing. Howard said someone farted in the studio that day and they blamed it on Eddie.
Howard said Eddie also had ''Two Tickets to Paradise'' and played some of that song. Howard had some details about where that song came from. Howard said it was about a woman who broke up with him before they went on a trip. Howard said shit like that happened to him in his life and he never thought to write a song about it.
Howard said he put out a bunch of other songs. He said he had the biggest hit of his career in 1986 with ''Take Me Home Tonight'' with Ronnie Spector. Howard said both of them had a big revival in their careers. Howard played some of that song. Howard said he was a nice guy and never took himself too seriously. He said he was a working class guy who was a cop and he became a singer. He said that's it. He said now he's gone.
Howard said he had 24 top 100 hit songs. Howard said most guys could only write one good song. He said he was able to do all of that. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was pedaling and he got up to 200 beats per minute. He said he is losing weight. He said he thought he was looking hot but then he saw a picture of himself. He said he didn't look good.
Howard said this woman was teaching a class and she said something about trying to remember when you were at your happiest and how you're not happy now so you have to remember the happy times. Howard said all he wanted to do was get into radio and he has to remember that. He said she was good. Howard said now that he's on radio he should be grateful. He said his Peloton teacher taught him that. He said she looked really hot and she had the flattest stomach with the biggest tits and she was a great teacher. He said he forgets how she said it but it was good. He said this woman had wisdom. Robin said everyone has some. Howard said not Sal. Robin said she was just thinking that.
Howard said he's glad that Ben Stiller came in and did that. He said he used to get his prostate checked and then his doctor retired. He said the new doctor wasn't doing the prostate check. He said they found that they don't need to do that. Howard said he hasn't had a prostate check the past few years. He said he's concerned about that. He said he has to get his prostate checked. He thanked the guy for the call.
Howard said they got a lot of email about Brent and Michael Rapaport. He said there were supporters on both sides. Robin asked if there was a majority. Howard said he felt it was a bit even. Fred said that he felt it was about 50/50 too.
Howard read through some of the email about Brent and Michael Rapaport. They played a dueling banjos parody with Rapaport and Brent clips. Howard read more feedback about their fights last week.
Howard read one where someone pointed out how boring Brent is. Howard said there are plenty of people who don't want to hear more of their feud at all. Howard said people were commenting on Memet's looks when they saw him on the app last week.
Howard said he's been taking a lot of shit about commenting on JD buying his wife a Gucci belt. He read some of the feedback about that. Someone said you can sell that belt for close to what he paid for it. Howard said they went on a web site and found people trying to sell that same belt for half of what JD paid for it.
Someone called Howard out on wasting food by throwing half of it away. Howard said he lives in Manhattan so he's ordering in. He said that's one advantage of living there in Manhattan.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up JD talking about his credit card and how he pays a little over the minimum amount and doesn't know the interest rate. He said JD probably doesn't know how interest works. Howard said he did say he would rather not pay it off even though he has the money. The caller said he's sure JD doesn't know how it works. Howard asked JD if he knows what they're saying. JD said they're saying he's an idiot. JD said he hears everything so just leave him alone. He said everything is fine. He said he's at a point financially that's better than he was last year. Howard had the caller repeat what he said about how long you have to pay off your purchases. He pointed out that JD can't live within his means. JD said he does live within his means. Howard asked why he doesn't just pay off his loan. JD said he has money in the bank that he wants to have available to him. Howard said he's paying the credit card company for something he doesn't have to pay for. JD said he's stupid and that's his choice. Howard said his choice is to be stupid. JD said he doesn't know any better. JD said he knows what he's doing and surviving. Howard said he's saying he likes to pay credit card companies money he doesn't have to pay. JD said he doesn't like talking about this. Howard asked why. JD laughed.
The caller said he has less money in the bank because he's paying interest. Howard said that's right. He ended up talking to JD Puppet instead.
Howard asked what the caller, Patrick, does for a living. Patrick said he's a banker. He said they like guys like this. Howard said if he didn't have guys like JD they'd be out of business. Patrick said exactly. He had to go so Howard let him go.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult who agrees with JD's use of the credit card debt. Howard said Wendy ate her credit card. Wendy said she's talking to them live on her Periscope. Howard said to say hi to everyone. He said call back when they have more time. Wendy said she'll do that. Howard told her to stay well. He told her not to get into credit card debt. Wendy said her audience said hello back to Howard. Howard asked if she has ever used her credit card to wipe her ass when she's out of paper. Wendy said no but she would think about it. Howard let her go after that.
Howard said he'll get to more Wendy this week. He said he bets a glowing dog has visited her.
Howard asked JD if he asked him to pay off his credit card would he think that's ridiculous. JD said he did pay some of it off over the weekend. He said he doesn't feel he has to pay it off at this moment. Howard said he finds that fascinating. He said he makes it seem like he has some secret plan. He said he's paying more for something he doesn't have to pay more for. JD Puppet said he wants to have more money for magic beans.
Howard said he has the money so pay it off. JD said he doesn't know what's going to happen tomorrow. He said he might need that money. Howard said gotcha. He said he's never heard that philosophy before. Robins said he thinks he has money saved too. Robin said if the credit card needs that money tomorrow what would he do. JD said he would have some but not as much as now. Howard said he's not an idiot but no one is taking him under their wing. He said he blames himself for this. He said he doesn't have time to mentor him right now.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about the choking fetish. He said a bunch of people wrote in about how their girlfriend want to be choked. Howard read some of that feedback. People were telling the guy to get a normal girl who isn't into that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news asking how to pronounce the word genre. Howard said it the way he thinks is right. Robin said someone put together a montage of Alex Trebek saying it. The had him pronouncing it in an interesting way. Howard played the clip and got a laugh out of it. He compared it to George Takei pronouncing words.
Robin read a story about Saturday Night Live announcing new cast members and there was some controversy over this guy Shane Gillis. Robin said someone found him saying derogatory remarks about people of different races. Robin had some examples. Robin said Gillis claims he goes to the edge and sometimes you miss. She said he's not trying to offend anyone. Howard played the clip and Fred threw in a Jackie laugh. Howard said he loves when Fred throws that in there. Robin said she hears a lot of comedians say that it's the joke that doesn't work. Howard said you do have to go to clubs to work things out. He said this guy was working it out on a podcast where everyone can hear it. He said he understands what he's saying about trying to find something funny. He said maybe he should do Saturday Night Live in yellow face and the next week in black face. Robin said she was thinking about Lisa Lampanelli and the act she used to do. She asked if she could do that today. Howard said that's hard to know. He said she does it in front of paying customers and there's a different expectation. He said they may know what she's going to do. Robin said they haven't said much about this so far. She said Gillis has been apologizing.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if JD understands that he's spending 20 percent a month to keep money in the bank that's giving him maybe half a percent. Howard said JD doesn't want to hear it. The caller said JD is retarded. Howard said we've been over this and JD doesn't want to hear it. JD said he doesn't pay for everything with the credit card. Howard said he's not sure why JD is so angry with people wanting to help him. JD said there's a lot of condescending talk. He said they call him names and stuff. Howard said this guy is using tough love on him. Howard said they say that people at interventions lash out. He said this is what they're trying to do there. JD said most interventions aren't publicized for people to listen to. Howard said thanks and let him off the hook.
Robin asked if Howard knows what a menstrual cup is. Howard said he has a whole collection of them. Robin said it's a product that collects your menstrual blood. She said it's reusable. She said you can clean it out and reuse it. Howard said he's never heard of this. Robin said it's been around a while. She said this California woman brought her cup to the senate floor and threw the blood on the senators. Howard said that's fucked up. Robin said she was arrested. She said she was charged with a few things. She was there to protest because she's an anti-vaxxer and anti-abortion. Robin said she said that was for the dead babies. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the passing of Hamza bin Laden being killed in a military attack. Robin said the White House released that information. Robin said he was supposed to be the new leader of Al Quada so that's good news. Howard said they never seem to run out of assholes over there. He said you'd think they would after they get killed. Robin said he apparently had a lot of women so he may have a lot of offspring.
Howard took a call from Apples who said he thinks they're missing the real stand out star of last week which was Brent from the Future. He said he watched that on the app and lost his mind. He said he had to watch it 3 times. Howard said he would suggest going on the app and tune that in. He thanked Apples for that reminder.
Robin read a story about Felicity Huffman who was sentenced to 2 weeks in prison. Robin said she was saying a month was way too long and the time was reduced. Robin said Howard said no jail time and she said the full 30 days. Robin said she got 14 days and a year of supervised release. Robin said she has to do 250 hours of community service. Howard said she's not going to be able to take 14 days. He said that's like 14 years to her. Robin said she had the knee jerk reaction that she's a woman of privilege and she can't do the full 30 days. She said then she read watch John Legend said about how this isn't going to change anything at all. She said John said that no one will benefit from this and we should be looking to jail people for less time, not more. Howard asked how you send a message that it's not cool to cheat?
Howard asked Robin what sound this is. He made a buzzing kind of noise. He said it was him taking a plastic knife and slicing a coffee cup holder with it. He asked if that's fun. Robin asked how she'd figure that out. Howard said he's cutting into the plastic coffee thing.
Howard took a call from a guy who was about to ask something but he was still making noises and asking people to figure it out. The caller said he was talking about the AR-15 thing and he had to contradict him on that. Howard said the AR-15 is good to defend your house with. He said that's what his friends have told him. The caller said that the rounds can go through walls. Howard said he doesn't know anything about it and he was just talking about the law about the AR-15 in New York. He said he has to get out of this.
Robin read a story about how it's football season and this name keeps popping up. She said it's Antonio Brown. She said he moved to the New England Patriots and Tom Brady was so happy to have him that he had him stay at his home until he was settled. Robin said then he was accused of sexual assault and rape. Robin said he may not have ever moved in with Tom Brady. He had his first game yesterday and he skipped the press conference. Robin had some audio of some other people refusing to comment on the controversy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they had a caller last week from Tennessee. He said Howard asked about rattlesnakes and he has a story about it. Howard said he hates rattlesnakes. He said what these fucks do is bite you on the ankle. Robin said they act like rattlesnakes of course. Howard said we have to get rid of them. He said he doesn't want rattlesnakes. Howard said he's going to wear high ankle boots if he ever goes somewhere that they have them.
The caller said a couple of summers ago he was riding a mountain bike and he ended up on an eastern diamondback. He said he screamed like a girl and cranked down as hard as he could. He said he didn't get bitten. Howard said if you get bitten you're fucked if you don't have the anti-venom. He said if he was him he'd carry it with him. The caller said everything on the trail looked like a snake after that. Howard said he's with him on that. He let him go and did a live commercial read.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's in the same predicament as JD is. He wanted some advice. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on. He said he can't get a decent phone call. The caller, Tyler, said he's on his way to Las Vegas. He said he wants to get some advice. Robin asked what he's going to Vegas for. The caller said he has $10,000 of debt and he wants to know if he should pay off that and only have $2,000 left in his account. Howard said he doesn't know what his finances are like. Howard said do whatever you want. He said fucking moron. He said that's it, keep owing money to people.
Robin read a story about the democratic debates and how Beto O'Rourke commented on taking away people's AR-15s away. Robin said that he's talking about a ban of the weapon. Robin said Rand Paul is also talking about mass shootings and trying to do something about these people who are doing the shootings. Howard said you never know who is going to be a shooter. He said years ago he thought Fred could have been one of them. He said you meet a lot of weirdos. He said even there at work there are a lot of odd people. Robin said they have nothing but odd people. Howard said he's pretty sure he could spot some of these shooters. Robin asked why a guy who has committed 23 crimes is still walking around. Howard asked if Robin thought Fred could be a mass shooter. Robin said they all thought that years ago.
Robin read a story about Joe Biden going to a Baptist church in Alabama last week. Robin had some audio from that visit. Howard said if you want to talk about race you don't go to black people. He said you have to go to white people. Robin said she's not sure why democrats continue to do this. She wondered if this works.
Robin read a story about new sexual misconduct charges against Brett Kavanaugh. Robin said she's not sure if they're going to get them anywhere. Robin said people are saying that he should be impeached. Robin said they say that it was witnessed by some guy and he saw Brett with his pants down. Howard said this guy must have a big ass hog if he was up to this much. He said if they pull down his pants and he has a penis the size of his it can't be true. Howard said he can't even whip his out. He said it's like an egg in a bird's nest. Robin said this guy claims that he was at a dorm party where friends pushed his penis into the hand of another female student. Robin said the President is defending him and saying that the justice department should be defending him or Kavanaugh should be suing someone. Howard asked how he knows he's innocent. Robin said Trump thinks he's a fine man. She said she's not sure why Trump thinks the Justice Department should be protecting him.
Robin read a story about the President saying that vaping needs to be regulated. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about trying to ban vaping. She said Andrew Cuomo isn't waiting for the federal government and he's banning the flavored vapes in New York. Robin had some audio of Cuomo talking about how it's being targeted at children and it's very obvious. Howard said he makes a lot of sense. He said he likes that guy. Robin said she does too.
Robin read a story about Trump saying that if you don't support him then you're going to be very poor. She had some audio of Trump for Howard to play.
Howard asked if Robin finished watching that Roger Ailes special on HBO. Robin said she told him earlier that she did. She said it's very good. Howard said it's called The Loudest Voice and it's fucking awesome. He said Russell Crow is so good in it.
Robin read a story about J-Lo outperforming with her movie over the weekend. She said she made $33 million with the movie. Robin said they say that's more than expected. She said that they say that she created some Oscar buzz. Robin said they made it sound like it was only her saying that though. Robin said the public responded and she was the second most popular movie this weekend. Robin said It: Chapter 2 was the big winner at the box office.
Robin read a story about Jon Stewart being with the first responders from 9/11 to let other responders know that they can sign up to be part of the fund to help them with their health care. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how he loves that ''Hey Now!'' stuff. He said he saw that Netflix bought the Seinfeld franchise. He said he wants to see the Larry Sanders stuff in one place. He wondered if HBO has it available. Howard said he's going to watch Seinfeld from beginning to end. He said he hasn't seen a lot of those episodes. He said he didn't see a lot because he had a job when it was on. He said Netflix paid like $500 million for the rights to it. Robin said it's on TV. Howard said that's on channel 11 local in New York. He said he thinks his parents are able to watch that. He said he's not sure if they have cable.
Robin said Netflix lost the rights to Friends and The Office. Now they have Seinfeld. Howard said he likes that Friends was available. He said the best thing to stream on TV right now is that show ''The Loudest Voice.'' He said that's where Russell Crowe plays Roger Ailes. He said it was really good.
Howard said he's tired today. He said he went to the gym yesterday after work. He said he was there late at work. He said he went home and wanted to reorganize his office. He said he was on a mad tear to do it. He said then Ralph came over with the clothing. He said he hates having to worry about that stuff. He said he's in show business so he has to pay attention to his look. He said he had dinner with a friend too. He said they had made some plans and it was a nice thing. He said they were discussing life. Robin asked if this was Gandhi. Howard said it was a friend of his. He said he relates to him because he's in similar predicaments that he's in.
Howard said they were talking about how Rod Stewart has prostate cancer. He said he was thinking about how he hasn't had his checked in 2 years now. He said he hated it when his old doctor did it but this new doctor doesn't check it at all. Howard said he didn't like getting it done but he feels like he has to switch doctors and get it done.
Howard said he can't take a finger up his ass. He said water is fine. He said he's not sure how Robin did it with that guy in San Francisco. Robin said she can't run for president because of that encounter. Howard said there's no shame in that. He said he's sure there are a few presidents who took it in the ass. He said Lincoln looks like he might have.
Howard said he was reading about this Shane Gillis guy who was hired at Saturday Night Live. He said NBC bailed on the guy because of some things he said on a podcast. He said he was doing some material about Chinatown and it got out and NBC bailed on him. He said NBC said that based on the audition and things he had done for them that they hired him. He said they didn't vet him fully. He said he's so tired of the hypocrisy. He said there are guys in the NFL who have raped women and the NFL stands by them. He said there's a bunch of guys that the NFL stands being and it's a weird line. He said he doesn't know that this guy Shane Gillis could have been told that it was unacceptable stuff and he can grow from it. He said he could have issued an apology and said he's still learning from life. He said he hasn't heard the slurs. Robin said they did play some of it yesterday. Howard said if you can stand by rapists and dog killers in the NFL they should stick by this guy. Howard said they're upset about Colin Kaepernick for kneeling though. He said that they get upset about.
Howard said maybe he doesn't know the full story there. He said he seemed to have a good explanation. He said he was trying to be funny and maybe it went horribly wrong. Robin said that you work on a stand up routine and that was on a podcast. She said he might have just been riffing. She said when he did it maybe he wasn't polishing anything. She said maybe it was just what was on the top of his head right then. Howard said it doesn't matter to him. He said it just seems odd that the NFL can back people who have raped and killed people but NBC can't let this go. Robin said it's apples and oranges. Howard said Sal has said tons of dumb shit but they keep him around.
Robin said she thinks about Sal and Richard's junk all the time. She said she was going down 9th Ave yesterday and she saw a guy walk right into the middle of traffic and started peeing. She said he left his junk hanging out of his pants. Howard asked if that was Shane Gillis. Robin said she was wondering what's going on in the streets of New York. Howard said there is an up tick in homeless people out there. Robin said she has never seen a guy just start peeing in the street like that. She said she just walked out and did it.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what's up with the beginning of the show with him talking about kneeling not being a big deal. Howard said it's not a big deal compared to killing and raping. The caller said there's a time and place for that. She said Robin should know better. Howard told her to shut the fuck up and go back and listen to the radio because she's an idiot.
Howard said he remembers when Trevor Noah had some things that he had said somewhere come out. He said they had some old tapes. He said Comedy Central stuck by him and rightly so. Robin said she thought Saturday Night Live had more backbone. Howard said NBC owns that and they have no backbone. He said he worked with them on America's Got Talent but when he was on NBC radio it was a fluke. He said Grant Tinker was there and corporate had no idea who he was. He said the local guys hired him. He said when they found out who he was they blew a shit fit. He said he wasn't going to fit in there. He said he was doing radio in a whole new way. He said corporate said they had to pay him off or get rid of him. He said they harassed him to the point where he'd break his spirit. He said they wanted to get him in line.
Robin asked why they didn't just let them go. Howard said they had signed a 5 year contract with him. He said that irked them even more. He said if they had paid him off it could have killed his career. He said his NBC show caught on with New York. He said it took a while. He said they had watered him down but his spirit came through on the radio. He said they became the number 1 show in the afternoon. He said eventually he got to work with Mel Karmazin and he knew he wasn't afraid of this political correctness.
Howard said he was very lucky. He said it probably took a coupe of years off his life because he was so stressed out. Robins said you would think they would have just told them to go away. Howard said he didn't want to give up.
Howard said they asked him to work overnights to practice. He said he didn't know why he had to practice because he was on in Washington DC and knew what he was doing. He said he did a gay character gargling cum on his show and he got in trouble over that. He said his name was Lance Eluction. He said it was very upsetting to them there at NBC.
Howard said Trevor Noah had said some things and apologized for it. He said this Shane Gillis was probably trying to be funny. He said who knows. He said they would have beaten the shit out of him anyway. He said Twitter has ruined everything. He said it's giving people too much power. He said they should have a test to get on Twitter. Howard said that guy Shane is out at Saturday Night Live.
Howard said they're doing a bit called Beat the Limo Driver tomorrow. He said they have a set in the studio. He said they have Mike coming in to go up against Ronnie. He said they're going to be in toy cars to compete. He said Ronnie has become quite a force on the show. He said people love him. He said not everyone but a lot do.
Howard said he has a lot of Ronnie the Limo Driver drops on the show and he's going to go through some of them. He played his ''Ass Chreaks'' drop. Robin said that came from a sex tip. Howard said it did and it was from a Mother's day tip. He played that bit where he said Ass Chreaks instead of cheeks. Howard said what a creep. He said he's got a creepy voice and he's so angry too. He said Saturday Night Live just fired Ronnie.
Howard played Ronnie doing an ''FBI down on the floor'' drop. Robin said that came from an acting gig he had. Howard said it was from a 2016 episode of ''Limitless.'' He played the full clip where Ronnie yelled his line out in the studio.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie saying ''Lets fuck some whores!'' and said that one came from a 2006 party where they had a confessional. He said Ronnie was in there yelling that. He had the clip where Ronnie said ''Get rid of these fucking wive shits. Lets fuck some whores!'' Howard said that was Doug Goodstein in the booth with Ronnie. He said Ronnie was divorced soon after that. He said what a character.
Howard played a ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop the clock.'' clip. Robin said that was from the show. Howard said it was from an interview Ronnie did with a stripper at some event. Howard played the full clip where Ronnie dropped that line the first time.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie asking if people wanted to get this shit started. Howard said this one came from a bikini contest. Howard said when he yelled that out the creep meter exploded. He said this was from 2017 and played the full clip. Robin said he sounds like he has a mental challenge and he just erupts in that one.
Howard played a drop of Ronnie saying ''Sixty nine!'' Robin said she doesn't remember where that came from. Howard said that was also from the Exotic Dancer Awards. Howard played the full clip where Ronnie kept yelling out the sixty nine thing. Howard asked how many people could be that quick with that response.
Howard said he tried on like 50 pair of boots. He said everyone tells him he's crazy. He said he's not though. He said he's normal and everyone else is crazy. He said he doesn't go anywhere there are rattlesnakes. He said you should see what he's going to wear. He said they go up to your knee and they look like military boots. He said a snake can't bite through them. Robin said now she gets why he was so worked up yesterday.
Howard said none of the boots are comfortable. He said they dig into your ankles. He said when you get bitten you die. He said there are things on this planet that can kill you. Robin said people can kill you. Howard said they can get rid of rattlesnakes. He said he's into saving animals but not rattlesnakes. Robin said Beth would try to save one if it was in distress. Howard said he'd be out of there.
The caller said that he wanted to talk about the AR-15. He said he thinks when they do background checks they should look into a mental history. Howard said not everyone who shoos up a school has had a prior incident. The caller said most do. Howard said in New York they have the Gay-R. He said it's a modification to the AR-15. He said it's one solution. Howard said the background check thing is a given. He said these guys running for president on the democrat side aren't going to get elected if they keep saying they're going to ban or confiscate. He said they have to do the background check thing and something that's really thorough. He said they have to stop with the medicare for everyone too. He said we can't afford it as a country. He said just tell people you'll have better health care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's out in Texas and they have rattlesnakes out there. Howard said it sounds like there's one near him right now based on that connection. The caller said you can get snake leggings. Howard said he has them. He said he got them already. The caller said he wears them all the time. Robin asked why he's going to this place. Howard said his wife wants to go. He said he'll do that for his wife because he loves her so much. He said she's so brave. He said he's a big pussy.
Robin said they didn't go to Italy. Howard said they were both on the same page with that. He said he doesn't want to go there to sit around while she's out doing things. He said he has to move around. He said he's decaying. He said he was reading about Ric Ocasek and Rod Stewart. He said he was getting upset about all of that. He said Ric was really thin all his life. He said he should have gotten fat.
Howard said James Corden is fighting with Bill Maher. He said Bill did a bit about how fat shaming is good and it was very funny. He said James got upset by it and he got into it with Bill. He said a lot of people were complimenting James. He said Bill was just trying to be funny. Howard said there is some truth to that. He said his parents fat ashamed him and got him to lose weight. He said he was fat in Washington DC and his parents pointed out that he was fat and he should lose weight. He said they were asking what he was doing to himself. He said he got shook up and lost 50 pounds. He said it worked. Robin said it worked for him but some people it doesn't work for. Howard said he shames people there every day and it doesn't work. Robin said it's really none of his business what other people look like.
Howard said if it was none of his business they wouldn't have a show. He said some of the guys don't have any control there. He said Sal can't stop sucking on a pen. Howard said he was as fat as Benjy back then. He said he burned a lot of the pictures he had from back then. He did his impression of his parents asking him about why he got fat. He had his dad yelling at him about getting fat and straightening him out.
Howard said he got such a lecture. He said it shook him up. He said he lost 50 pounds just like that. He said he went to a doctor. He said he was unaware of what he had to do. He said he had to be told to go to a gym. He said he joined a gym and the guy gave him some eating advice. He said hew as everything shamed, not just fat shamed. He said he stopped shitting his pants because his mother pointed out there was grit in his underpants. He said he put his underwear in the sink where all of his sister's friends could see.
Howard said his parents saw that he wore sweat pants and maternity jeans all the time. He said what a mess. He said his body has never fully recovered from that. He said he still has a gut. He said it's sort of gone away but not completely.
Howard said he should have juiced instead of doing LSD. He said he needed to be addicted to that stuff. He said he needs HGH shot into his muscles. Howard said The Rock is on such a roll. He said he's conquering Hollywood and he's not sure why he resents that. He said he didn't go to acting school or anything. Robin said he'll be forgotten. She said they won't be watching his stuff 100 years from now.
Howard said the other nutty thing is that they think the government won't tell us about an alien we've captured. He said someone would go and tell the papers. He said it's so stupid. He said look at all of these whistle blowers. He said Julian Assange would have something. He said those people are going to get their asses shot out there. He said instead of storming Area 51, get a fucking job and focus on work and become an expert in something. He said he doesn't care what it is, just become an expert. He said you'll be appreciated by your co-workers. He said there is no greater joy than becoming good at something. Robin said that would be good for the world. Howard said that's right. Fred played a bunch of Riley Martin drops during this discussion.
Howard said don't become and expert on aliens. Robin said don't become an expert in dog people. Howard asked if the caller is storming Area 51. The caller said he thinks there's just technology there that they're not ready to show us. Howard said they're doing research and development. He said it's like Apple.
Howard said how about storming a library and learn something. He said if you ever want to get away from the police go to a library. He said that's where he'd go if he was in trouble.
Howard took a call from High Register Sean who said it's making him sick hearing this. He said we've been lied to and they're going in there to get information that they're suppressing. Howard asked what information is out there. He said there's no reason for aliens to hide. Sean said that the government is keeping the information under wraps. Howard asked about the rest of the world. He said we're not the only ones. He asked where they're hiding this stuff in other countries.
Sean said that the Aliens aren't interested in low tech societies. He said they're interested in because of the tech we have. Howard thanked him for letting him know that. Sean said they're keeping tabs on us. He said we're science projects. Howard said he's making no sense. He said he has no idea what he's talking about. He said he's just making stuff up and it's all stupid. He said it's all made up. He said he should get a fucking life and get great at his job and get rooted in reality. He said he's out in the woods looking for fucking dog people. He said he's picking up droppings thinking he can figure out if it's a dog man.
Sean said he can't spend time in the woods because of the mosquito virus EEE that they released up there. Howard asked what his dream was in life when he was a kid. Sean said he wanted to write for Saturday Night Live. Howard said how about not giving up on that dream and go to the library and read some books. He said read something that would increase his ability to be a writer. He asked why waste your time with this nonsense?
Howard said he had a dream when he was a kid. He said he wanted to be on radio. He said he devoted his life to it. He said he was horrible eon radio when he started. He said he was so bad that he was the worst announcer you've ever heard. He said he willed himself to become the best radio voice in the world. He said he spent time learning how to do it. He said he worked and worked at it even when he was making $96 a week. He said he was getting paid to practice. He said he kept doing that and then he saw an ad for a morning man at WCCC in Hartford. He said he had to audition for that job. He said he flunked the first audition and asked for another chance. He said he thought about it and he went in and got hired. He said he read the paper every night to figure out how to make his show funny.
Howard said he came up with things that he found in the paper. He said he racked his brains. He said he had to figure out how to succeed. Howard said he never went in the woods looking for dog men. He said he never heard about Area 51. He said he didn't know what that was. He said he doesn't believe that the government created killer mosquitos to take care of dog men.
Howard said he followed his passion and his dream came true. He said he did this with every job he had. He said he became an expert dish washer. He said he was a camp counselor. He said he was elevated to the point where he took a bunch of kids around the country. He said he isn't the brightest guy in the room but he concentrated on things that weren't nonsense. He said it was all work, work, work. Howard said he has no ability to draw or paint but he decided to try it and become good at it. He said he became good at it. He said he isn't interested in selling that stuff but he's a capable painter.
Howard said while Sean was collecting dog feces he was training himself to paint. Sean said he felt wronged by the government when the FCC was after him. He said he had rallies and things about it. Robin said it was obvious that it was happening. Sean said his point is that the government over reaches. Howard said there's a difference between reality where they're talking about pulling him off radio to talking about aliens and alien technology.
Howard asked if he believes that Stevie Wonder is blind. Sean said yes. He said that's inconsequential to this though.
Howard said on his phone he has a guy who says it's a bad idea to storm Area 51. The caller, Sean, said that he was in the air force for over 20 years. He said there are guys out there who are guarding all of this stuff. He said if you run out there you're going to end up on your face zip tied. He said it's not just that but you have to be aware that they have bombing ranges around that area. He said you go wandering around the desert you may end up in a worse place than in the back of a Hum Vee.
Howard thanked the guy for that. He said he's right that these people are going to end up in jail. Robin said they should make all of those people disappear and then Seany will have more conspiracy theories. Howard said they should turn them into dog men. Seany said that's a bad idea.
Howard had fake Alex Jones on the phone to talk to Seany. Alex said they are going to the wrong base. He said they moved it all to Area 6. He said that's the place they should go to. Howard asked what Sean thinks about that. Seany said that they do move under the cover of night. He said if they did that this is like the Boston Tea Party. Alex did an ad for some dog man defense kit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows aliens don't exist. It was the guys in the office calling in with an Alien voice claiming there is no such thing as aliens. The alien said stop looking for them and drop this already.
Howard asked Sean if he's going to storm Area 51. Sean said he has a 140 IQ and he finds that last call very offensive. Howard said he hopes he doesn't storm Area 51. He said he thinks it's nonsense. He said that his reason for this is that if you have one shot in life you're wasting your time not becoming good at something and waiting around for some Twilight Zone thing to happen on earth. He said focus on your job. Sean said he is very good at his job. Robin asked who tells him that. Howard said the aliens. Sean said he gets signals from space. He said if it was up to Howard they'd still be ruled by England. Howard said he's not against that. Sean said it's crazy to him. Howard said that's not what they're even talking about here. He said the tyranny of England was reality. He said this isn't reality. He said there is no evidence of aliens.
Sean said they're suppressing the information. Howard said he went up against the government and FCC. He said he's not opposed to fighting back when there's a reality of oppression. He said Sean is dealing with a fantasy of dog men. Sean asked why Shuli didn't come up there. Howard said he felt it was unsafe for Shuli to go up there. He said he was talking about carrying a gun around. Howard asked Shuli what happened there. Shuli said he was fine with it. He said he was waiting for the green light. Howard said he has it. Shuli said that he's ready to go. Shuli said he just sent him a picture of a footprint. Howard said this is such a waste of time. He said you get so little time on this planet and you're wasting it with this.
Howard took a look at the footprint. He said no wonder Shuli is going up there. Howard asked what that is. He said it's just a footprint. Sean said it's the dog man foot print. He said it has a heel and a dog print in there. Howard said it does look like a human foot with a dog print in it. Howard said he might have some evidence there. Sean said ''Uh huh.... uh huh... ''
Howard said they're going to go in the woods and find a potato chip bag. He said they'll send Shuli up there to go on this search. Howard said they don't need Brokeback Alien Hunter. He said Shuli is heterosexual. Sean said he is too. Howard let him go. He said what a waste of hours.
Shuli said Sean also believes that there's a base in Alaska that controls the weather. Howard said imagine basing your life on nonsense. He said Shuli is good at telling Sean's stories. Howard asked how often he speaks to him. Shuli said through texts it's every day. He said between him and Underdog it's a long conversation. Howard said Underdog is in love with Shuli. He said she has to hear this.
Howard played the call where Shuli told her that he was calling to wish her a happy birthday. She had a problem with her answering machine picking up at the same time she was answering.
Robin asked how often he has to call her. Shuli said they speak twice a week. Howard said she's like a dog reacting to the owner after they come home from a long trip.
Howard played the clip over again to hear her freaking out about her answering machine picking up. Shuli wished her a happy birthday and Underdog was upset and wondered where he had disappeared to this time. Howard said she has no idea he has a life.
Robin said she saw a documentary about a guy who went to Alaska to live on his own and he would freak out like that when the mail plane came in. Howard said he remembers that.
Howard said Shuli asked Underdog to come on the show for the 55th anniversary of her doing Underdog. He said she freaked out. Shuli said that he told her they have millions of people to expose her to.
Howard played the clip and Underdog said she wasn't sure if she'll be asked to make a special appearance anywhere. Shuli asked if she would like to be on the Howard Stern show. Underdog started whining and saying ''No, no, no!'' She said that would be too risky and it might do more harm than good. Howard asked why she doesn't acknowledge that his father recorded Underdog.
Shuli said that he told her that they rescue cats and she had a nice reaction to that. Howard said he loves her reaction to his name.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel wrote him a note about Underdog and her college experience. He said she was upset about being made to dress in costumes but she dresses like Underdog and Vlad the Impaler. Shuli said he will bring that up.
Howard said Underdog wants a special kind of icing on her cake when they celebrate the anniversary of Underdog. Howard played a clip where Underdog talked about having an ice cake with green tinted frosting. She said the emerald color and that's the gem of the 55th anniversary. Shuli asked how great it would be to have a cooking show for her on the app. Howard said he should suggest that to her. He said she doesn't have to deal with him. Howard said Shuli could co-host with her. He had to take a break after that.
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Howard said he was thinking about the song parody they made with sounds of Underdog. He played the song where they had her sounds to the tune of ''Whole Lotta Love.'' Howard said that was pretty good. He said they could do a whole song of that. Robin said she's not sure why Led Zeppelin didn't work with her. Howard said they may have thought she was too out there for them.
Howard said he was telling JD about the reaction they got about him trying to correct him about living within his means. He said he talked to him about his credit card debt and all of that. He said he got an update from Jason that JD went home and paid off all of his credit card debt. He said he feels good about that. He said JD is listening to him. Robin said that's good. Howard said he's proud of his son. JD said thanks dad.
JD said he was getting tweets and people yelling at him or whatever so he just got tired of it and went home and did that. He said he's trying to get over that number he has in the bank. Howard said now he won't have interest on the card. He said now he can save. JD said we'll see. Howard said now he won't owe the credit card company any money. JD said alright.
Howard said Natalie Maines texted him overnight and she was so worried about JD. He said she wrote him about how she didn't want to gang up on JD but they made every point about it but please clarify that he is living beyond his means. She said not living beyond your means is paying off your credit cards and still having a savings and money in the bank. She went on about how he's not living within his means.
Howard said that's very loving. He said she was concerned. JD said she has his number too so she could have written that to him. Howard said she heard his violent reaction to them giving advice to him. JD said he and Natalie have a nice relationship too.
Howard said all she was saying was that he is living beyond his means. Howard said yesterday the tide seemed to turn and people were supporting what he was saying. Howard read through some of that show feedback.
Howard said JD went home and handled it all like a man. He said there you go. He played a song parody with JD's laughs and hoots in it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he gets paid more for singing in his live commercials. Howard said of course he does. He said they ask him to sing and he says that's going to cost you buddy. He said it's really just a spontaneous thing that comes out. The caller said it sounds great. Howard said he should ask for extra in his paycheck for that. He said then he'll be a singing fool.
Howard said she uses that voice like a rape whistle. He said it tripped some sort of internal alarm. He said that's wacky behavior. Robin said it's not logical at all.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said he has to read between the lines there. She said he asked her to say nice things about him. Howard said she was screaming at him though. Mariann said she asked him how old he is and he didn't respond. She said he was pushing her buttons. Mariann started screaming so Howard hung up on her and started laughing. He said she's a trip.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who did 22 months for money laundering. He took the call from Mike who said Felicity Huffman is in for a rude awakening when she's in prison. He said he spent 22 months of his life in there for money laundering and he didn't even do anything really. Howard asked what you can do all day. Mike said you can read and that's about it. He said there's TV but they're controlled by gangs. He said they watch Love and Hip Hop all day. Howard said you have to get in with that gang that has control.
Sal came in and said that Jason is a dick licking manipulator. Sal said Jason asked him if he vaped yesterday and he said no and crossed his fingers. He said Jason though that means he was lying but that's only if it's behind your back. He said this is a sign of hope when you cross them in front of you.
Howard asked if he vaped yesterday. Sal said he hasn't done that since Saturday night. Howard said a 7th person has died from vaping. Sal said he swears on his children that he's not lying. He said he has no problem telling Howard if he was doing it.
Howard said he just wanted an update. He said that's it. Jason said he hopes he continues this. He crossed his fingers in front of him.
Howard said they got a lot of feedback about the story he told about his dead dog visiting him. Howard read some of the feedback they got about the story. Howard had people talking about how crazy that story was.
Howard said the best thing Sal ever did was back when he talked about Miss Howard Stern on the Wrap Up Show and said some racist things. Howard said they should revisit that. Sal said maybe not. Howard said they have nothing else to do. Howard played the clip of Sal talking about that stuff back then and getting into some trouble on the show. Sal was talking about how drinking leads to a white chick having a black child. The guys on the Wrap Up Show were telling him that he was being racist.
Howard played the apology they made Sal give for those comments on the Wrap Up Show. Sal was digging the hole deeper and deeper with that apology. Sal went on for quite a while saying he was sorry that people were offended and he's not a racist.
Howard said that was some apology. Robin said it was almost as bad as the comments he made on the Wrap Up Show.
Howard said Miss Howard Stern is now a grandmother at the age of 36. He said her daughter is 19. He said she's the reining Miss Howard Stern. He said she won't give up the title.
Howard asked if Sal would like to make anymore racist comments. Sal said he thinks he's good. Sal said that Eddie Murphy shouldn't have been on Saturday Night Live before Delirious. Robin said he was on before he made that. Sal said they shouldn't have kept him on then. Howard cut Sal off and thanked him for coming in. Sal said the Shane Gillis thing is ridiculous. Howard said he was getting into one of those long Sal things.
Howard said Sal introduced Shane at a comedy show and got his name wrong recently. Sal said he called him Sean. He said he's a funny guy. He said he opens up for Michael Rapaport. Howard thanked him again and went to break a short time later.
Robin said they say the guy is bipolar. Howard said they say Scott Stapp is now touring solo. Robin said that's because he alienated everyone in the band. Howard said he freaked them out. He said they sold over 50 million albums. He said that's really good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he finds it ironic that Sal introduces a guy who was accused of making racist comments. Howard said the hypocrisy is all over the place. He said there's a football player accused of doing something really atrocious and the NFL keeps him around. He said they just want to be able to make money.
The caller asked if the $96 a week was enough when he started out. Howard said he was doing a DJ thing at a Holiday Inn. He said he was hired with Meg Griffin and another guy. He said he'd go there and play what he thought people wanted to hear. He said he didn't know what to play. He said he was playing the Beatles and Stones. He said people don't dance to that. He said he made the 96 a week work for him.
Howard said he lived in a monastery. He said he live din a room without a TV. He said you lived on a cot. He said he was basically living at the radio station. He said he'd go to the monastery and they had a vow of silence there. He said he would get there and lay on the cot with his lights out at 10. He said if he got there for dinner they had the same thing every night. He said dinner was included in the $100 a month he was paying for rent. He said he'd go to bed and get up and go to work. He said he loved the routine. He said he loved no one bothering him and no one being able to talk. He said it was the greatest year of his life.
Howard said he just wants to paint all day now. He said it's not all that different. He said he eventually got up to $250 a week and got his own place. He said he's still friendly with people from the monastery. He said it was a good experience.
Howard said the people who take a vow of silence are some of the best people you'll meet. He said they're some of the best people he ever met.
Howard said his father told him he was lucky. He said he was being paid to go to graduate school. Robin said it's also the attitude you bring. Howard said he was the worst radio performer and he got better at it for putting in the hours. Robin said people wonder why they don't get anywhere. Howard said he knew guys who said fuck the sales department or fuck this place and they didn't want to spend more than 4 hours there. He said he knew guys who were so fucked up that they would drink cough syrup during their shift. He said one guy did that and he looked at them like they were just fucked up. He said they didn't take their craft seriously. He said you never hear from them again.
Howard asked if that answered the caller's question. The guy said it did. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said his dad gave him some money for gas to fill up the tank. He said he appreciates that he did that for him. He said he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't pay him back. He said he made some money and paid him back.
Howard said don't be complaining about not making money and going off to storm Area 51. He said just go out and get a job and concentrate on being great at it.
Howard said there's some audio of Tyreek Hill being asked about this accusation and he says ''You know what I'm saying'' a ton of times. Howard asked if Richard is a fan of this guy. Will said he says he's not a fan of this guy but he is still a fan of the Chiefs.
Howard said it's just weird to him that this Saturday Night Live guy gets thrown out but the football players who get accused of even crazier shit don't get thrown out.
Howard played some of the interview with Tyreek where he said ''You know what I'm saying'' over and over. Howard asked if anyone knows what he's saying. Will said he's saying nothing. Howard said that whole thing is good because you get confused after a while. He said he has no idea what anyone is saying at this point.
Howard played another press conference clip where Tyreek was using ''You know what I'm saying'' every other sentence. Howard said this would be a very dangerous drinking game. He said you have to take a shot after every time he says it. Will said that's a Richard drinking game. Howard said that's kind of crazy.
Howard said he was asked what he would say to his skeptics and he said he doesn't know what he would say. Howard played some audio of that interview. He said he doesn't really know what to say, you know what I'm saying? Howard laughed when he heard that.
Howard wondered if he offered to give him $100 per paragraph that he doesn't use ''You know what I'm saying'' in if he could do it. He doesn't think so.
Howard had some audio of Tyreek and his fiancee talking about the kid being terrified of him and then he says that she should be too. Howard said he didn't hear one ''You know what I'm saying'' in that clip. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was going to give a shout out to Nikki Glaser. He said he watched the Alec Baldwin roast last night. Robin said it was funny. She said she didn't see the whole thing yet. She said she liked the opening with Robert De Niro and Alec. Howard said Nikki was really good. He said Jeff Ross was really good. He said Caitlyn Jenner was a good sport. Robin said you never saw her in a regular environment. She said she was sitting next to Robert De Niro and when Sean Hayes took a jab at Bobby D Caitlyn put her hand on his shoulder and you could see just how big her hands are.
Howard said everyone was going after Caitlyn Jenner. He played some audio of everyone taking their shots at Caitlyn.
Howard said Jeff Ross is very funny. He said he was great. Robin said she flinched when she read that she was going to be on the show.
Howard said Alec was a pretty good sport too. Robin said he took a lot of hits. Howard played some audio of people taking shots at him and his family. Howard had some audio of the roasters and then Alec's daughter Ireland roasting her dad.
Howard said it was quite a roast. Robin said Alec can handle it. Howard said he was quite entertained.
Howard said Caitlyn Jenner got up and did her roast thing. He said she got serious about Trans people but she did end on a laugh. He played the clip of Caitlyn telling people if they can't handle her being transgender then they can suck her dick... if they can find it.
Howard said he has Caitlyn on the phone. He took the call from fake Caitlyn who said her jokes were cut... just like her cock. She told Howard some of the jokes they cut. Howard said she did a good job. Caitlyn kept going with the jokes. Howard let her go after she told one more about her driving.
Brent came in and said that Katelyn may hook up with someone local but it might be someone from the swinging community. Howard said he heard something more intense. He said he heard he's interviewing men to fuck his wife while he's gone. Brent said that's right. Howard asked who is showing up for that. Brent said the people are from the swinging web site that they use. He said they're going to meet a guy and they're going to have some drinks with him. He said he's making sure it's a safe situation. He said he wants to make sure she's going to be okay.
Howard said that's something. Brent said Katelyn knows the woman out in L.A. that he may be with. Howard said he's lined up for out there then? Brent said they're close. He said he's going to go out to dinner and dancing with her. Robin asked if he's going on a date. Brent said yes. He said if it all goes well then she will give him the green light. He said he can't say how he knows her. He said it'll give away who she is.
Howard said this is something. Brent said he gets why people can't wrap their heads around it. Howard said he would lose his mind if his wife was with another man. He said he loves her so much he doesn't want to share her with anyone. Brent said he understands that but they have a different kind of relationship. He said he doesn't hold it against anyone who wants to have a monogamous relationship.
Howard said he would like to see who this woman is. Brent said she is successful in the entertainment business. Howard said he'd like to know who it is. Brent said she's successful in the business. He said she has been in movies. Howard asked if it's porn. Brent said it's not. Robin asked if he only has this one prospect. Brent said yes but he doesn't know them that well.
Howard asked if it's Betty White. Brent laughed. He said she's very famous. Howard wondered who it is. Brent said he'll tell him off the air.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he and his wife are going through with this now. He said his wife met a guy who she fell for and now she's moving out with the four kids. He said they tried to get into this and she fell for the first guy she was with. The guy said that there's this thing called hot wife. Brent said that's when the wife gets to go out and do her thing. Howard said it worked out really well for this guy. The caller said that he thought they were on the same page and it didn't work out like that. He said he asked her to stop and she wasn't able to do it.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why Brent is married if he's letting everyone else fuck her. Brent said it's not everyone else. He said this is up to Katelyn. He said that he doesn't want her fucking Benjy though. Howard asked if that would be weird. Brent said it would.
Howard had fake Katelyn on the phone. She was in the middle of interviewing guys. She was asking questions while you could hear the slapping sound coming from them having sex.
Brent said that they always use condoms when they are with other people. Howard asked if he'd let Spider Harrison fuck his wife. Brent said he actually worked with him down in Tampa. He said he's a good guy but no. Howard asked about Bubba. Brent said no to that too. He said he and Bubba have done some things in the past but not now. Howard asked if he'd let Ralph fuck her. Brent said no way. He said they're friends and that would mess things up. He said the swingers are great because they know it's over once you do it once.
Howard asked if Brent would let the guys from Lamb of God fuck his wife. Brent said he doesn't know those guys so it would be okay.
Howard asked Benjy if he would want to fuck Katelyn. Benjy came in and said that he saw her vagina at Ronnie's party and it was kind of shocking. He said it's fun to think about a stranger flashing her vagina to him. He said Brent was telling her she was breaking the rules. He said it felt like a lot of tension. Brent said she's not his possession so he can't make her stop. He said they have rules and they break them but they discuss it and move on.
Howard said Brent's rule is that they can't fuck people from work. Benjy said he likes there's a rule against her fucking him. He said when he saw Katelyn's vagina he thought it was cool.
Howard asked if he would have done something if Brent wasn't there. Brent said it's up to her, not Benjy. Howard said they get that. Benjy said he didn't like what he said about fucking fat guys. He said Brent looks like a hard boiled egg with a beard. Brent said that joke was already used by Michael Rapaport.
Shuli said that Erik has been driving with his learner's permit. Howard said he's not supposed to do that. He told Erik that he can't do that. Erik asked if he knows how many cops he knows. Howard asked if thinks they're going to overlook that. Erik said absolutely. Howard asked if he has insurance. Erik said he does. Howard asked what's going on. Erik asked if he passes his road test if they can drive to L.A. Shuli said oh no. Howard said he wouldn't get in the car with Erik.
Shuli asked if he broke the horn in the car from honking at everyone. Erik said he didn't break the horn. He said there's a mechanical failure in the horn. Shuli said he honks at everyone and has road rage after driving for 2 weeks.
Howard asked when the test is. Erik said it's on Friday. Howard asked who wants to bet that he doesn't pass. Robin said she'll take that bet.
Erik asked if they can drive to L.A. Howard said he's not going to put Shuli in that car with Erik. Erik said it night be funny. Erik said he can do it. He said it would be funny. Erik said he knows how to drive. Robin asked if he has been on the highway. Erik said yes. Shuli said he's been living the life. He said he's been flying back and forth to L.A. and dating people. Erik said he broke up with his girlfriend. He said she lied and said he threatened her.
Robin asked if she was having sex with him. Erik said that she asked to have sex and he said no. Shuli said 12 hours before that he agreed to blow Benjy. Howard asked if he has ever figured out his sexuality.
Erik said he never texts on the phone in the car. Howard asked what he weighs lately. Shuli said that ship has sailed. He said he saw a picture of him the other day and his stomach is 4 feet in front of him. He said he has to be close to 400 again. Erik said he's not close to that. Shuli asked when he last weighed himself. Erik said it's been months. Howard said he weighs so much he's afraid he won't fit in the car. Erik said he never falls asleep in the car. He said he takes Adderall.
Howard said Benjy talked to Erik in the car when he was driving yesterday. Erik said it was hands free. Howard said he can't believe this. He said he can't possibly pass a test. He asked how he passed the written test. Shuli asked how many times he took it. Erik said twice. He said he failed once. He said he passed in 2 minutes the second time.
Howard asked if he fucked his girlfriend at all. Erik said he did it like twice. He said she wasn't his type. Shuli said that's because she didn't have a cock. Howard asked if he paid someone to take the written test for him. Erik said no. He said it's all on the computer. He said it took him 2 minutes to pass. Robin asked if it was an open book test. Erik said no.
Howard asked if Robin is taking the bet on him passing. Robin said she thinks he will pass. She bet Howard $100 and then Shuli took her for another 100. Howard said she can back out if she wants to. She said she might have to do that.
Howard asked Erik some questions about driving like what a double yellow line means. Howard asked if he knows what yield means. Erik didn't quite get what it meant. Gary asked it in a way that he thought might make more sense. He asked what he would do if he came to a traffic circle and there's a yield sign there then what do you do. Erik worked through it out loud. He said lets say there's a yield sign then he has to wait until there are no cars coming until he can go. Howard asked if you can make a right on red in New York City. Erik said no you can't.
Erik asked if he passes his test can he become his driver when Ronnie retires. Howard asked what he charges per hour. Erik said he won't charge him anything. Howard said call his agent. He said there is no fucking way he passes this driving test. Shuli said he will bet Howard 50 bucks he passes. Howard said Shuli is going to go see the test. Shuli said he doesn't think he'll be allowed in the car.
Howard asked if Erik can put his arm up to look out the back of the car to parallel park. Erik said he can. Howard asked what he has to do when the school bus is stopped. Erik said you have to stop. Howard said he seems to know some things. Erik said there's one sign where he lives where you can make a right on red to get on the parkway.
Shuli asked if there's anything that he's not comfortable with on the test. Erik said no. He said the instructor will tell him what to do. Howard asked who taught him how to drive. Erik said he's known how to do it for a long time.
Shuli asked how fast he's gone. Erik said he went to Connecticut and he was up to 80 on his way up there. Howard said he is so lucky he didn't get pulled over. Robin said she wants to avoid that roadway.
Howard wished him luck on that test. Erik asked if he can come up to the studio if he gets out to L.A. Howard said yes if he passes.
Gary said that he said he drove to Connecticut and that's not legal. Howard said they pointed that out. Gary said he was also alone in the car. Howard and Robin said they already brought that up. Howard asked where Gary has been.
Howard said he doesn't know if he can pass. Shuli told him not to listen to him. He said he knows he can do it.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult who was playing the part of Erik's driving instructor. Howard started that but gave up and said he's not going to get into that. Erik said that Wendy is on Periscope and she's asking for money from people. He said she was asking for $4,000.
Shuli asked Erik what kind of sex he and his girlfriend were having. Erik said he fingered her pussy. He said then she asked if he has ever been down there. He said she asked him to lick her pussy. He said after that he had to wash his mouth out with soap and water because it was so salty and hairy down there. He said stuff grows down there. Howard asked if he knows you don't get rid of germs by washing your mouth out. Erik said her pussy was gross. Howard asked if he ever got hard. Erik said all the time. Robin said they want to know if it was when she was there.
Howard asked if he licked her pussy or her asshole. Erik said it was her pussy. He said it was the grossest pussy ever. Howard asked if he powered through it anyway. Erik said he did it for two seconds and it was the grossest taste ever. Howard asked if he put his penis inside her vagina. Erik said he put it in her ass. Howard asked what's going on here. Shuli said this is what he's saying.
Erik said she put a condom on him and he had sex with her from behind. Howard asked if he sticks it in the firs hole he sees. Erik said that he's not sure if it was her ass or her pussy. Howard said it's hard to tell from behind. He said he's assuming it was her ass. Erik said she was standing up and they were over the sink. Howard said he's trying to figure this out. Erik said she was bent over the sink. Howard said he could have been in her pussy. Erik said he could have been. He said he's not sure.
Howard asked if it was hard to get his dick in there. Erik said it was because he was so huge. He said then the condom fell off. Howard said he may not know the difference between the ass and pussy. Shuli asked how long he lasted. Erik said maybe 2 seconds. Howard asked if he has her number. Erik said he has her blocked. Howard asked if he can ask her which hole he was in. Erik said they have each other blocked. Shuli said things didn't end well. He said she didn't like some of her friend and Erik didn't like her opinion of her friends.
Howard asked if he fucked her twice. Erik said he did. Shuli said he was flying her all over the place in first class. Howard asked if he shot his load inside of her. Erik said no. He said it didn't go that far. He said once the condom fell off they didn't do anything. Robin asked if they did it the second time when was it. Erik said it was the next night. Howard asked if he fingered her that night too. Erik said he did. He said he put his finger in her and she was having an orgasm. Shuli said he's not surprised with the size of those sausage fingers. Howard asked what he does in there. Erik said he just put his fingers in there. He said he got 4 fingers in there. Shuli said he has a hand bigger than his face. Howard asked if he was making a pizza in there. Erik said he got his whole hand in there and just left it there. He said she asked him to just go in a little further. He said she came on his hands. Robin asked if he put his penis in after that. Erik said he didn't even do that. Howard said he didn't get laid a second time then. Erik said she asked to have sex after going to the Statue of Liberty and he made believe that he had taken his Ambien and didn't want to have sex again.
Howard asked how he knew she came with his hands in there. Erik said she told him. He said his hands were warm and wet. The guys sounded grossed out by that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's going to find himself a new job if Erik passes his driving test because he's a truck driver. He said he wants to know what car he's driving.
Howard asked Erik why he broke up with this girl. Erik said she called all of his best friends crazy. He said his best friend Nicki was one of them. Howard asked who cares. He said he'd just agree with the woman. He said he won't offend Beth with his friends. Erik said he had to break up with her. He said it was the best thing he had to do. He said he can't threaten people so he didn't threaten her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it's crazy that he had 4 fingers in there. He said they have to get her on the show. Howard said that's a long shot. He said they'll have an easier time booking Hillary Clinton.
Howard asked if the girl was slow or dull. Erik said he thinks she had a normal IQ. Robin asked if she has a job. Erik said she's on disability too. He said she wanted to go to therapy with him and he said no. Shuli said she was very hands on with Erik and she was trying to get on that stuff. Howard asked if she was feeble like Erik. Erik said no.
Howard said it's kind of crazy that Erik is getting laid more than Benjy. He said you know she has a normal vagina and Erik is just into dudes.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he had Erik over to his house once and he had a new scooter that he got on and he asked to ride it. He said Erik said he knew how to ride and he got on it and floored it into a tree. He said he broke a bunch of stuff on it. Erik said that it's more harder to ride than driving a car.
King told Howard to check out 1 Island on Netflix. Howard said he doesn't have enough time to watch all of these shows. He said he has to get going anyway. He said he's running out of time. Erik asked if he should call in on Monday with how the test goes. Howard said of course. He said they have to find out if they all have to stop driving. Howard let Erik go and wished him luck.
Shuli asked if he's driving anywhere today. Erik said he's driving to his therapist. Howard said he's not allowed to drive with a learner's permit. Erik said he doesn't want to wait an hour for an Access-a-ride. He said he knows how to drive and he can take his car. He said the detectives drive these kind of cars. Shuli said his fantasy is to get arrested and gang banged by cops. Howard asked if he ever thinks about that. Erik said never. Shuli said he's been with Erik when he's around cops and fire fighters and he has to think about that. Howard let Erik go after that. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Robin started her news with a story about Ric Ocasek's cause of death. Robin said they didn't know yesterday. Robin had one of their songs to play. Robin said the cause of death was a combination of pulmonary emphysema and heart disease. Howard said he's always freaked out when people don't smoke and get something like that. Robin said Paulina talked about going over here for a Sunday dinner and she found out that he had passed away. She said Paulina said that he had just had surgery recently. Howard wondered why they split up. Robin said she's not sure. She said they had six sons together.
Robin read a story about Rod Stewart who revealed he had prostate cancer 2 years ago. Howard said he has to get his prostate checked. Robin said he was diagnosed 2 years ago and he's in the clear now because he caught it early. Robin said he's encouraging guys to get their prostate checked. Howard said his new doctor doesn't do it. He said he has to find another one. He said he wishes his old doctor would come back. Robin said Rod had thyroid cancer in 2000 too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Alex Trebek getting some bad news. Robin said he has to resume Chemo. Robin said he's going to do that after massive and rapid weight loss. Robin said he was doing well but then something happened. Robin had some audio of Trebek talking about that. Howard said this is all so depressing. He said that's a nightmare. He said pancreatic cancer is the worst. Robin said Alex is going to keep working through all of this. Howard said he would quit and stay home. Robin said it's better to get out of your head at a point like that.
Robin was wondering if Jerry still gets proceeds from when Seinfeld is sold. Robin said the answer is yes. Robin said Netflix is paying $500 million plus to have Seinfeld. She said Jerry and Larry David do get a cut of that. Robin said she wondered if there's a time limit on his take of the profits but apparently not. Robin said Larry gets a cut too. Howard said that's awesome. Howard said Mr. Ed died broke. He said he was the star of the show. He said the Three Stooges never saw money from their movies either. He said The Big Bang theory got like a billion dollars for reruns. He said he's not sure who gets that money.
Robin read a story about what people think is going on with climate change. She had the details of that poll.
Robin read a story about the show The Honeymooners and asked Howard who is still alive from that show. Howard said maybe Alice. He said he's thinking she could be the only one. Robin said Trixie is still alive. Howard said she tricked him. Robin said she turned 94 years old yesterday. She said that she got discovered for the show by Jackie Gleason who noticed her in a commercial. Howard said that's why you always have to do your best job. He said you never know who's listening. Robin said she was doing a gum commercial and she got to work with Jackie Gleason. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about an attack on Saudi oil fields and they're still trying to figure out where it came from. Robin said they think it might be the Iranians or another group claiming responsibility. Howard said it was the Iranians. Robin said the weapons were provided by Iran for sure. Robin said that gas prices could jump by 25 cents per gallon. Howard said poor High Pitch Erik won't be able to afford gas for his car.
Robin read a story about the president talking about how he doesn't want war with Iran. She said they are not willing to meet with Trump after he made some threatening comments after that attack. Howard said if there was ever time in history to have an oil shortage this is probably the best time. Robin said yeah. Howard said High Pitch Erik just announced he'll be on the road so it's a good time.
Robin read a story about the United Auto Workers being on strike for the second day in a row. Robin said Trump is hoping for a short strike. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about how strong his relationship is with the workers. He wasn't so sure about the people doing negotiations. Howard said he has an interesting way of speaking. He said he says his relationship is ''powerful.'' He said the other day he was talking about the Iranian thing and said they were having a very ''strong investigation'' or something like that. He said he's never heard him speak like that. He said it's an unusual syntax. Robin said it's just his choice of words.
Robin had some audio of Trump talking about Mariano Rivera and talking about how he's a great American. Robin wondered if he knows that he wasn't born here. She said he'd be stopping him at the border if he was trying to get in now.
Robin read a story about the NY Times and a story they presented about the latest Brett Kavanaugh investigation. Robin said they claimed they had a witness to something and it turns to the woman who he claimed he had seen get Kavanaugh's penis in her hand doesn't remember that incident. Robin said people are looking at this with skepticism now. Robin said Mitch McConnell commented on that. She had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he doesn't think they'll ever get to the bottom of all of that. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the president never stopping his campaigning. Robin said he was at a rally in New Mexico and said that the Democrats are coming for their guns. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about the attorney general saying that Purdue Pharma filing for bankruptcy is them trying to avoid the diaster of the opioid epidemic. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about Edward Snowden's memoir coming out today. Robin had some audio of Snowden speaking for Howard to play. Howard said he's not sure what to think of all of that so he'll shut up. He said he's trying to think but nothing happens.
Robin read a story about a girl who died from a brain eating amoeba in Texas. Robin said this girl was infected after going swimming in a river over the Labor Day weekend. Robin said she got a fever and her condition quickly deteriorated. Robin said you have to be careful out there.
Robin read a story about Kevin Hart being sued for $60 million by a model who claims she was being secretly recorded in a hotel room when she had sex with Hart. Robin had some audio of the woman talking about that situation.
Robin read a story about Robert Downey Jr. possibly making an appearance in the upcoming Black Widow movie. Robin said that makes her smile.
Robin read a story about Dancing with the Stars coming back and Christy Brinkley broke her arm. Howard said that bummed him out. He said he was going to watch for her. Robin asked if he doesn't care about Sean Spicer. Howard said he has a bad feeling about that guy. He said he doesn't want to see him dance. Robin said Sailor Brinkley-Cook will be replacing her mother. Robin said some people were accusing Christy of faking her injury to get her daughter on the show.
Robin read a story about Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki in the Thor movies, appearing in a play and a woman orgasmed in the theater when she saw him. Howard said Robin should go see the play. Robin said she has seen it before but never had that reaction.
Robin read a story about Lily Sing making her late night debut last night on her late night show. Howard asked where this show is shown. Robin said it's on NBC. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how the day is just beginning and he's wishing it was over. He said what a day. He said yesterday he was busy. He said he was discussing if he could be happy not doing this show. He said he wondered what the day would consist of. He said he goes through it and he was jealous of his wife who has lunch plans today. He said people ask if she gets bored and she never has that problem. He said she has a very full day. He said people ask him all the time if he would be busy. He said he could find things to do. He said work isn't fun. Robin said Jerry Seinfeld likes work. Howard said his agent says he can't imagine not working. He said he'll work every day until he dies.
Howard said people say that show business is in his blood. He said it's really not. He said his family was in the business of pressing pants and things like that. Howard said it's not that much fun doing this. He said it's the same bullshit day in and day out. Robin said he gets to meet his heroes. She said he gets to do movies and write books about it.
Howard said he doesn't know if he can keep doing this. He said he was a dish washer and he loved it. He said there was no money in it though. He said they didn't even give him a little bump. He said he wouldn't have a roof over his head if he kept that job.
Howard said there has been a lot of talk about swinging on the show because of Brent. He said they're going to L.A. and Brent is supposed to get laid out there. Robin said they will be dating people on opposite sides of the country. Howard said they used to have to fuck in the same room but not anymore.
Howard said Brent has set off a shock wave in Hollywood. He said this guy Thomas Middleditch has set off a shock wave. He said he did an interview with Playboy and he said singing saved his marriage. He said he's reading this and he thought it was rather brave to talk about this. He read some of the article where Middleditch talked about how that came into his marriage. Howard said it sounds like it's full steam ahead for that guy. Robin said it sounds like it's working for him but maybe not the wife. Howard said this guy needs to swing. He said like Brent he's a 7. Robin said his wife is smoking hot. She said she's looking at pictures. Howard said he has no pictures.
Howard read more quotes from the article and Robin said it sounds like it's horrible for the wife. Howard asked if it's worse to be honest or keep it quite. Robin said she would leave that relationship. She said it sounds like he doesn't want to be married. Howard said it sounds like she's way in love with the guy and will hold on no matter what. Robin said she thinks she's going to get out and she'll say she waited too long. She said she will have wasted this time.
Howard read about Erik paying $19,000 cash for a car and how upsetting that is. They said he better not still be on public assistance. Robin said some people know how to work the system. Howard said he tested as an imbecile. He said he has a driver and his own car. He said it's pretty wild.
Howard said Bobo called in and left a bunch of voicemail about Erik. Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about how Erik will probably pass his test. He said that passing the written test is a big thing. He said that's the hardest thing to pass these days. He said it makes him sad because of the way the industry has gone.
Howard said there's no way he passes that test. He said he's not sure how Bobo passed his test. He picked up on Bobo who said when he took his at 16 he failed his test. He said his cousin took him and he just wanted to see what it was all about. He said he ran up on a curb and things like that. He said he asked if he passed and the tester day are you kidding.
Howard asked if he purposely failed or did he just fail and he's embarrassed. Bobo said he failed. Bobo said the test is like 10 minutes and you're done. He said it's horrifying. Howard said maybe these guys can tell how you can drive after 10 minutes. Bobo said the test in Florida is ridiculous because they teach you how to park on a hill in Florida. He said he wrote a letter to the governor about it. He said they have a skill course that they take you on. He said they make you do a few things and that's it. He said if you don't have a professional with your child they won't know what to do.
Howard cut Bobo off and said that's interesting. Bobo said he's holding for Ronnie to ask questions. Howard said they have questions. Bobo said Brent asked him to call. Howard said he's not sure what Brent is doing. He said that soft swinging is turning his head soft.
Howard said this guy Mike called in and started questioning Ronnie about cars. He said he agreed to come in and have a contest with Ronnie. He said Dodge is sponsoring it.
Howard asked what Bobo has to do with it. Bobo said he was asked to call in with questions. Howard asked what the fuck is going on with his phone. He said he doesn't know how to hold the phone. Bobo said he has it right to his ear. Howard said now he's fine. He asked what he does with his phone. Bobo said it comes a little bit away from his ear. Howard said it's annoying when he does that. He said now he's fine. He said he knows if he talks more than 30 seconds he seems to forget how to hold the phone. Howard said every time he complains about it then he makes it better. Bobo said he'll keep pressing it into his ear. Howard said it's maddening.
Howard said when the phone moves away from his mouth just put it back. He said he must be a genius.
Brent came in and said that he asked Bobo to call in and have some back and forth with Ronnie to do some warm up. Howard said here is no warm up. Brent said the format has taken some twists and turns. Howard said maybe Brent should go fuck a stranger. He said he's got this and Bobo not knowing how to use a phone. He said he's a caller and he doesn't know how to call in. He said Wendy the Slow Adult knows how to use a phone.
Howard said he doesn't want Bobo to be part of this bit. He said they call him the bit killer. Brent said sometimes he takes calls in the warm up before he gets to the contest. Howard said don't coach the callers anymore. Brent said he's got it. Howard said he's going to get to him in a minute in the email. He said the general feeling in the email is that his marriage is in big trouble. Howard said he happens to agree. He said he doesn't like where this is going. He said Brent is a grown man though. He said he must know what he's doing.
Brent said that he's a grown man. He said he is fully confident in his marriage. He said anyone can lose anyone else for different reasons. Howard said okay.
Howard said Brent revealed that he was in the middle of interviewing guys to fuck his wife. He said he's looking out for her safety. He said he's been taking guys out for coffee and interviewing them. He said he says he has to make sure none of them are serial killers. He said he's casting a wide net. Howard asked if he set up his date out in California. Brent said she wasn't able to fit him in. Howard said what's going to happen is his wife will be fucking 20 guys here while he's not getting laid. Brent said he's ready for that.
Howard read some email about Brent's date and someone pointed out that he looks like Sloth from The Goonies. Howard said they mentioned High Pitch Erik talking about fucking that woman too. He said it was so gross. Howard said he thinks Erik doesn't know that he can get into a woman's vagina from behind.
Howard read more email about Brent and his wife. People said that Brent thinks his wife needs help getting laid. Someone said that Michael Rapaport will be one of them. Brent said there's no way she'd fuck anyone he doesn't want her to. Howard said there's a lot of concern out there for Brent. Brent said that's understandable that they have concern.
Howard said Brent lined up Bobo to ask Ronnie questions. He said he's not sure if he'll do that. He said he has High Pitch Erik on the phone so maybe that will work with him. Erik said there are only 20 questions on the test now. He said Bobo said there were 50. Howard said Bobo is a driving instructor and he doesn't know how many are on it. Bobo said he doesn't administer the test so he didn't know.
Howard said there was a lot of controversy about Erik yesterday. He said it's freaking people out that he had 19,000 to pay for his car. Erik said he's doing well with Cameo. He said he pays his bills and he bought his car. He said he can do what he wants with that money. Robin asked if he's still getting a check from the government. Erik said yes. Howard said that's rubbing people the wrong way.
Howard said people are upset that Erik is driving around without someone in the car with him. Erik said that he's taking lessons as well. Howard said he didn't know that. He said yesterday he said he wasn't taking lessons. He asked if he goes to a driving school. Erik said Shuli called the instructor yesterday. He said he's coming to the driving test with him. Howard said he knows that.
Howard asked if the instructor told him that he can't drive alone with a permit. Erik said he didn't say any of that. Robin said maybe it's because he's an adult and the rules are different.
Howard asked Bobo if he wants to ask questions. Bobo said sure and asked what Erik should do if his car starts skidding in ice. He gave him some multiple choice answers. Erik said you have to steer in the direction of the skid. He got that right.
Bobo asked Erik what you do at an intersection where there are no lights. Erik had to hear it again. Howard said he zoned out on that one too. Robin said she didn't get it either. Howard and Bobo Puppet were repeating it and goofing on Bobo about the way he talks. Howard said he has no idea what he said. Bobo said when there are no signs or signals at an intersection what do you do. He gave the multiple choice. Erik answered and got it wrong. Howard said he has to go. He wished Erik luck on his test. Erik said he'll let him know on Monday. Howard let Bobo and Erik go after that.
Howard said what a bore. He said when Bobo starts talking he's so boring. He said he was zoning out. He said good segment Brent. He said it was smart to get Bobo to ask questions. He said its tough to listen to Bobo. He said Ronnie had to take Bobo's class because he's a limo driver. He said he thinks that's what the story was. He said maybe he's making that up. He forgets. He said he imagines people being so bored in that class when they're stuck in the room for 6 hours.
Howard did his impression of Bobo boring the shit out of people. Bobo puppet was in on that too. They were talking about the stuff Bobo brought up about not having hills in Florida. Howard said you know he has a written out class where he just reads to you. He said he can't even ask a question without reading it.
Howard said Bobo said he had a 100 percent pass in his class but people had failed. Robin said those people didn't follow his instruction. Howard and Bobo puppet goofed on Bobo about that stuff. Howard said Bobo said 100 percent of his students failed except the ones who failed. Howard said he claimed he had 100 percent success rate except the ones who didn't listen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Bobo is such above. Howard said he really was. He said he got woozy listening to him. He said he didn't think he knew the answer to that question. He said Robin was zoning out too. He said it's weird. He said Bobo is hypnotizing. He said it's like Hitler. He said he hypnotizes the audience into a sleep.
Gary said Shuli said that Bobo claims that his students come up to him and hug him and cry when they're done with the course. Howard said he's not sure where that comes from.
Howard said someone wrote in about High Pitch Erik talking about how salty his girlfriend's pussy was. He said someone wrote in and said that was from her tears. Howard said he has to take a break. He said they have a big show today. He said they have to play Beat the Limo Driver. He said they'll get to everything when they get back. They went to break after that.
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Sal came in and said he's a loser. He said he cracked and vaped this morning. Robin asked where he got a vape. Sal said he had a vape in his bag since Saturday. Howard said he took his vape pen from him. He asked if he bought one. Sal said he asked someone to get him one on Saturday. He said he was on his way to work and he thought it was so good with coffee that he had to do it. Howard said he's weak. Sal said he's not weak. Howard said throw it away. Sal said he's losing a fortune. Howard said he'll throw it out now. He said grow a pair. Sal said he let himself down.
Howard said Sal is a fucking mess. He said he gets caught beating off at work too. He said he's a mess. Someone brought in Sal's bag. Howard asked if he saw another person died from vaping. Sal said he was reading that there's a new additive out there that's doing that. He said he's not defending it though. Howard said be a man and quit. He said get a grip on life. He said be great, not mediocre. He said he can't let that vape pen rule his life.
Robin said he never quit. Sal said he quit last week. Howard said he didn't quit. Sal said he's right. Howard said you can say you quit when you don't use it again. Howard said it's been like 40 years since he smoked a cigarette. He said it was difficult but he overcame it. He said he's stronger than anything. He said Sal is weak. Sal said he's not weak. Sal said he's weak then. Robin said he was the one who said he was going to quit. Sal said he wanted to.
Howard said the vape pen looks like a baby bottle in his mouth. Sal said his wife calls it a pacifier. Howard said that's what it is. Howard said he takes all of that medication he doesn't need to. Sal said he takes that stuff for his essential tremors. Howard said he took stuff or his hair too. He said that didn't work. Sal said he knows.
Howard said he had to quit alcohol. He said he used to enjoy wine with dinner. He said he quit. He said he just stopped doing it. He said that element is gone from his life.
Howard asked if he quit then why does he need the vape pen. Sal said he's going to give it to him. Howard said don't give it to him. Howard asked if he's quitting or not. Sal said he would like to. He said he's like 50/50 now. Sal said he wants to quit. Howard asked how he can get through to him, visit him in a dream while glowing? Howard said he's not quitting. Sal said he wants to quit. Howard asked if he wants to quit or not. Sal said he does but he doesn't know if he can. Howard said he's a vaper then. He said keep that thing in his bag.
Howard told Sal to go sit with Richard who is another weakling. He said they're both weak. He said just quit. He said Richard can't stop drinking. Robin said that's a disease and it makes it hard to quit. Howard said Sal's disease is his low IQ. He said if he has a disease then go to the hospital. Robin asked if he thinks alcoholism is a disease. Howard said if it is then go to the hospital. He said when Sal's lungs collapse what should they do. Howard said he doesn't take Oxycontin and that stuff so he doesn't have to sue with everyone else.
Sal asked about Jason who is overweight. Howard said don't worry about him. He said just worry about himself. Sal said he would like to throw that pen out. Howard asked if he's at work or running a day care center.
Howard took a call from fake Mother Angelica who called in to tell Sal he's weak. She told him he's weak and she'd like him to come to heaven so she can kick him in the nuts. She said he's very stupid too. She called him a retard. Howard thanked her for the call. Howard said she's the most compassionate woman and she has no compassion for Sal.
Howard said Sal is normal compared to Ronnie. He said this is the bagel caper. He said Ronnie has a bagel every Wednesday. He said that's his big thing. He said Ronnie has a filing cabinet he uses as his desk. He said his bagel was on there and the wrapping ended up getting opened. He said he freaked out asking who fucked with his bagel. He said no one knows who touched it. He said the other security guards didn't even see it. He said he's not sure why they bother with security. He said no one is watching anything out there.
Ronnie came in and said he made a bagel and wrapped it up nicely in a bunch of paper towels. He said he put it on his filing cabinet/desk. He said he came back after going to do something. He said all of the paper towels were gone. Howard said he'd be livid too. He said he isn't goofing on that. He said he finds it incredible that 3 security guards don't know who walked into the room and fucked with the bagel. Ronnie said he thinks he knows who did it and they probably know who did it. He said he thinks it was Mike Pearlman. Howard asked who that is. Ronnie said that guy works upstairs. He said he was in the room. Gary said this is the guy who was on the air once who was shot.
Howard said he finds it odd that they don't know who was in there. Ronnie said they're just trying to fuck with him. Howard said no one is allowed to fuck with anyone's food around there. Gary said they just spoke to Mike and he swears he didn't do it. Ronnie said that's bullshit. He said he doesn't believe him. Howard had Mike come in. Ronnie blamed Sal for making this a thing to get the focus off of him. He said he told Sal the blow job thing in confidence too. Sal said he didn't know that. He said he should have told him not to say anything.
Sal said Ronnie came in dancing around saying he was going to get laid on the plane. He said Ronnie told him he got the blow job then. He said he didn't tell him that in confidence. He said that Ronnie said you put a blanket over their head and they never know. Sal said that he talked about fucking a chick on a boat recently. Ronnie said that was a long time ago. Howard said he heard Ronnie is a braggart about the Aerosmith tickets he has. Ronnie said they're good seats. He said he didn't brag about it.
Howard asked if he was dancing around out there. Ronnie said he wasn't. He said he's not going to get laid on the plane either. Sal said he was dancing around saying he was going to fuck on the plane. Howard told Ronnie to do the dance. Ronnie said there's no reason to do it if he didn't do it. Sal said it was great.
Howard got back to the bagel thing. He said he doesn't like food being fucked with but the fact that no one knows who fucked with it is funny.
Howard had Mike in the studio to talk about it. Howard asked Mike to raise his right hand and swear that he didn't fuck with it. Mike swore that he didn't fuck with it. Howard asked if he thought to fuck with it. Mike said no. He said he did see Ronnie wrap it up. He swore on his kid that he didn't fuck with it.
Howard said Mike is claiming he had nothing to do with it. Mike said he wasn't in on anything. He said he doesn't think anyone fucked with it. He said what Ronnie does is put paper towels on it and he thinks he only put one on it. Ronnie said he had a napkin on top of it. He said he took the paper towels and put 3 or 4 on there. He said that's how it was left. Howard asked if it was possible that it unfurled when he was doing it. Ronnie said the towels were gone and only the napkin was there. Howard asked if he thinks Ronnie has dementia.
Gary asked where he was when he did it. Ronnie said he was in the room. Gary was going to try to find footage of it but they don't have a camera out there. Ronnie said he went to get something to drink and when he came back this was all done. He said he was gone 3 minutes. He told Perlman not to fuck with him. He said he makes comments all the time.
Mike asked what Howard thinks about this outfit that Ronnie wears where all of the stuff matches color. Howard said it is interesting. Ronnie said he's always fucking with him about that.
Howard said one of the security guys thinks he forgot how he wrapped the bagel. Mike said he saw Ronnie doing something with the paper towels. He said he didn't see him wrap it up. Ronnie said he wrapped it up tight. Howard said his co-workers don't think he wrapped it up the way he thinks he did. Ronnie said he's not forgetful.
Howard asked Mike if he thinks he's getting dementia. Mike said for his age he keeps up pretty well. He said he talks to him and he's like one of his buddies. He said there are things that happen and he might be getting forgetful. Ronnie said he's right, he never wrapped that fucking thing. He said he does it every Wednesday. Howard said his grandfather got that way. He said he could be losing his mind.
Howard asked if anyone there did it then come forward. He said he'll give immunity. Howard said no one is coming forward. He took a call from someone disguising their voice. He let that person go after they said they did it. It was just a bit.
Howard said it's fucked up because they have security there and no one saw anything. Ronnie said maybe he made this up just to get air time. He said give him a fucking break. Robin asked if he asked anyone else who did it. Howard said he forgot about doing that jig out in the hall. Ronnie said he doesn't remember doing that. He said he doesn't remember anything. Sal said he also didn't tell him not to talk about the blow job thing.
Jason came in and said that he wrapped the bagel today and he was going to be involved in a contest. Then he said he does it every week. Ronnie said he does it every week. He said open his ears. Jason said if they pulled a prank on him there would be cameras around. Ronnie said he doesn't know when he can eat the bagel so he wraps it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they have people at work who forget things like this. She said people do forget and maybe he got distracted and put his bagel down and just forgot to wrap it. Howard asked if this could be the beginning of something more serious. The caller said he could be at risk for something that leads to dementia. Ronnie said sure. Howard asked if he should get a brain scan. Sal said knock and see if anything is in there.
Mike asked where the other paper towels are that he wrapped it in. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't need no fucking investigation. He said all he knows is someone fucked with it. Howard said he has a big problem then. He said they have a team of security guys out there and they don't know who fucked with it. Howard asked the guys if they know anything. Gary said they asked and they saw nothing. Howard asked if he thinks they're fucking with him. Gary said they think Ronnie forgot how he wrapped it. Ronnie told Gary to go fuck himself. Howard said he thinks he forgot to wrap it.
Ronnie said maybe he should forget to wake up in the morning and come there. Howard said okay. He said that's up to you. Howard said he doesn't forget to send out the pictures on Twitter.
Howard said one of the symptoms of dementia is irrational mood swings. Ronnie said that he has those. Howard said he was dancing around with Sal earlier and forgot about that.
Howard asked Mike if he knows who did it. Mike swore that he doesn't know who messed with it. Ronnie said he knows Mike saw him do it. He said he was in the room. He said don't play stupid. Mike said he saw him buttering the bagel. He said he didn't see exactly what he did. He said he saw the one napkin. Howard asked how he's going to crack him. Howard said he wants to know who fucked with that bagel. He said he has a horrible feeling that he didn't wrap it and forgot that he did it. Ronnie said he got extra paper towels. He said now just a small napkin is on it. He said that he locked the thing up in a drawer instead.
Gary said he wants to see how he wrapped it. Ronnie told him to bring that in and paper towels.
Howard said he wants to get the security guys in there. Ronnie said they're not allowed to talk on the air. He said they won't come in. Gary came in with the paper towels and bagel and had Ronnie demonstrate how he wrapped it. Ronnie said he had one like this and this is how it was found when he came back. He showed both. Mike thinks that he didn't wrap it up like he thinks he did.
Ronnie asked what he was doing at the time. Mike said they were getting releases signed and stuff like that. Ronnie said don't fuck with him there. He said he knows what he was up to. Howard said he knows he's under pressure today. Ronnie said he's not under pressure. Howard said he's got this game coming up and maybe he went to wrap up his bagel and spaced out. Ronnie said he wrapped it up.
Howard said Ronnie is going to Vegas. He asked when that is. Ronnie said it's tonight. Howard asked if he was talking about getting laid. Ronnie said he was joking around with him. He said he did tell him he got a blow job on a plane once. Howard said he never told him that story. Ronnie said he knows he wrapped that bagel too. Howard said Ronnie is under a lot of stress.
Gary said they took a poll in the office and the security guys don't think mike had anything to do with it. Ronnie said fuck that poll. He said that the one guy out there he wouldn't be surprised if he fucked with his bagel. Sal said the one guy is always fucking with Ronnie and talking about taking stuff up his ass.
Howard said Ronnie is under some stress today. He said he could have forgotten about the bagel thing.
Howard asked Ronnie if it's true that they're going to a nude pool and he won't let Stephanie go nude. Ronnie said he doesn't want her to because there's too much social media stuff. He said he doesn't want her to get photographed topless. Howard asked Sal what he thinks happened here. Sal said he thinks he was going to wrap it and forgot. Ronnie told him to go fuck himself.
Sal asked if they have a camera down there that would show who went into the room. Ronnie said it's a whole process to get that footage. He said they can see. Howard asked if anyone doesn't go in there then will he admit that he was wrong. Ronnie said those guys were in the room already. He said they don't have video of the room. Robin asked if he's saying that the other guys ignored someone messing with his food. Ronnie said he's not sure what they saw. Howard asked if they have video of Ronnie dancing about getting laid.
Howard asked Sal to do the impression again. Sal did it and danced. Ronnie said he didn't do a fucking dance. Sal said he did.
Howard said he doesn't like people fucking with his food out there. Ronnie said he must have forgotten to do it. He said that's what he'll go with.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked some questions to test his cognitive functions. He asked what he had for dinner last night, name 5 animals on a farm and Stephanie's birth date. The caller said he is struggling to find the answers. He really wasn't. Howard let the guy go.
Ronnie said that Stephanie is having problems with her dog right now. He said it's old and sick. Howard asked why he didn't tell him that. Ronnie said he just didn't. He said fuck this guy who's coming in to do the car thing. He said he's not stressing about anything. Sal said they can tell. Ronnie said Sal is stressing without his vape pen. He said he's sure he has a ton of them. Howard asked if he thinks Sal is weak. Ronnie said he is weak. Sal said he can't even remember wrapping his bagel. Ronnie said he knows he wrapped it. Howard said he wishes that the security team would come forward. Howard said he wants to know who it was. Ronnie said they know the deal there and they're fucking with him. He said he was gone for 3 minutes and he came back and someone had fucked with it.
Howard asked Robin what's going on there. Robin said it's paranoia. She said she's not sure why he would think that someone would fuck with his food. Howard said it is possible that he forgot to wrap it. Ronnie said absolutely not. He said he'll swear on anyone's life that he did. Howard said this is fucking crazy. Ronnie said now he's the crazy one. Howard said it's the situation that's crazy. He said the worse news is that Jason ate all of the evidence.
Howard asked Mike if he would tell him if he fucked with the food. Mike said he would. Ronnie said this is the thing right here. He said they want him riled up out there. Howard said Chris Wilding is saying that he has been acting irrationally all morning. He had Chris come in.
Chris came in and said that he cares about Ronnie. He said he was in Sal's room yelling at him. Ronnie said he was just talking to him. Howard said he's told Ronnie not to do that stuff out there. Chris said you can tell something is going on with him because you can hear him out there. Howard said he should just be like that guy on TV, Kevin Costner as the Bodyguard. Ronnie said he studies that movie. Howard said he was macho and stealth. He said that's what Ronnie should be like.
Chris said Ronnie was carrying on a lot out there. He said that it stopped everything they were doing out there when he had the bagel thing happen. He said if someone fucks with your food you don't eat it. He said he told Ronnie not to eat it. He said his grandmother had dementia and she had a lot of issues with food. Howard said he hopes he's not suffering from dementia. Robin said they can get him medication if he is.
Howard asked Chris how he thinks Ronnie is going to do today in the game. Ronnie said he's going to lose. Chris said he should lay this guy flat based on him being Mr. Car. He said there shouldn't even be a contest. Howard said his money is on Ronnie. Ronnie said don't put money on him. He said he can't remember anything. Robin said that's long term.
Robin asked Ronnie if it's possible that they're all telling the truth. Ronnie said absolutely fucking not. Howard said they would know if it was a bit. Chris said that if they did this as a bit they would say there's no way they should do it. He said they know that Howard wouldn't like it.
Howard asked if Mike was invited to Ronnie's party. Mike said he was. Ronnie said he was only there for 15 minutes. Mike said he had his kid with him so he had to leave early. He said Ronnie is really nice at the party. He said it's like he turns it on and off. He said he was really nice there. He said he would never mess with his food.
Chris asked if it's possible... Ronnie cut him off and said stop with the help stories. He said he's not helping. Chris said he's just wondering if it's possible that he's on edge because of this contest and he just forgot. Ronnie said he's got it. Howard said he'll look into it. He said that they might have to check for fingerprints. Ronnie said he doesn't want to eat it now. Howard said if it was fucked with then don't eat it. He said please confiscate it and he'll fingerprint it. Ronnie said they must have touched the bagel. Mike said he wouldn't lie to Howard. Howard said they did find paper towels in the garbage in the office. He said the investigation is ongoing. He said he'll get to the bottom of it. Howard said he needs his entire team focused on this.
Howard said when he comes back they'll do a brief history on this guy Mike and Ronnie. Ronnie said the guy called in and got himself in there. Howard said that's right. He said the audience might want to hear more though. He said he'll review what happened and they'll have the game show. He said the set looks awesome. Ronnie said it really does. Howard said it's sponsored by Dodge and they were inspired by Ronnie's basement with the set. Howard said maybe Ronnie will forget about the bagel. Howard said Robin will get to the bottom of this. He said she whispered to him that the ridiculous plot thickens. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he was watching the news yesterday and got all bummed. He said he doesn't like this guy Corey Lewandowski. He said he hates this whole ''fuck the law'' thing. He said they're saying everyone is lying. He said he goes in and basically says the White House told him to say fuck you so ''fuck you.'' He said that he was directed not to talk. He said he finds the news hard to watch.
Howard said they had this terrible incident at work today where the bagel may have been fucked with. He said he wants Robin to handle the investigation. Howard said you have to go to the app and check out the Lukas Nelson stuff.
Howard said a few weeks later Mike called in with car questions for Ronnie. He played some audio from that day and Ronnie didn't know what 442 meant in the name of an Oldsmobile. Howard suggested having a contest that day.
Howard said here we are today with Beat the Limo Driver with Ronnie and Mike. He said they've never met Mike before. He said Dodge is sponsoring the game today. He said they have $500 for the winner. Howard said this is a beautiful set they have here. He said that's thanks to Dodge. He said they have tiny sports cars for the guys to sit in. Howard said he will take a break and then get to the game show. He said they'll find out if Ronnie can shut this guy Mike up. They went to break after that.
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Fred played Iggy Azalea's ''Fancy'' as they were coming back. They played a ''Beat the Limo Driver'' intro song too. Howard said it's a Ronnie morning today.
Howard said Mike is the man of the hour who riled up Ronnie. He said that was a couple of months ago. Mike said he has a 392 Scat Pack Charger. He said that he heard Ronnie talking about the Hellcat and called in. Ronnie said he had the SRT which is the same car. Howard asked what it was that made him call in. Mike said that it was the Demon that came with one seat. He said he was wrong about it being the Hellcat. Ronnie said he never claimed to be an expert.
Howard said Mike pointed out Ronnie was wrong and it came down to a challenge. Howard said Dodge was nice enough to give them $500 for this game. Howard said they seem to worship them more than God. Ronnie said he's had their cars since he was 18. He said he had a Plymouth Roadrunner at 18. Howard asked Mike what he thinks about that. Mike said it's a great car.
Howard asked what they do with these cars. Mike said he likes having that power and the rumble. He said he plays around at times. He said he gets on it. He said it has all kinds of modes you can put it in. Ronnie said that you can go out into the country and mess around a bit.
Howard asked why Ronnie isn't looking at Mike. Ronnie said he shook his hand in the hall. He said he gives the guy credit. He said he's on the air and he got his wish. He said he bought his nephew with him who is a major fan. He said not many people get in there. He said he has to give it to him.
Howard asked Mike if he called in expecting to get on the show. Mike said not at all. Howard said Ronnie did the same thing. Ronnie said it took him 34 years to get in there. Howard asked if Ronnie Puppet is there for the game too. Fred said he has to stick his hand up his ass. He did the Ronnie Puppet thing for a second. Howard said he has a racing outfit on. Ronnie puppet said he does. He said he'll be having sex on the plane today too.
Howard said Ronnie Puppet is upset with Mike too. Ronnie Puppet was asking Mike if he knows what a 4 banger is. Mike said he thought it was a 4 barrel carb but it's a 4 cylinder. Howard asked Mike if he thinks he can win today. Mike said he's 50/50 on this.
Howard said Mike is from Long Island. He said he has his own business. Howard said Ronnie used to have a business out there. He said Mike has a flooring business. He asked if he's married. Mike said for 35 years. Howard asked if his wife is 30 years younger than him. Mike laughed and said she's not. Howard asked if he has messed with dildos. Mike said he has not. Ronnie said a lot of people won't admit it.
Howard said he's going to ask each contestant one question at a time. He said they're going to answer and if they get it right they get one point. He said they won't take points away if they get it wrong. He said the other guy can steal the question though.
Howard said they will get 5 questions each. Howard said Jon Hein will be the judge. He said it's time to play Beat the Limo Driver. Howard played the theme song and got to the game.
Howard said Ronnie is up first. He said he'll ask him one question. He asked Ronnie what NASCAR stands for. Ronnie said National Association of Stock Car Racing. Jon said he needs to be more specific. Howard asked again. Jon said he's incorrect. Howard asked Mike to answer. Mike said it's the same thing but threw in Automobile racing. Howard said they can't accept that either. Howard said it's National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Howard said Ronnie forgot the A.
Howard said now they go to Mike with his first question. He asked Mike what T/A stands for in the Challenger series. Mike said Trans Automotive. Jon said they can accept that. Howard said it's Trans Am. Ronnie said that's wrong. He said it's Track Attack. Ronnie said it doesn't stand for Trans Am on a Challenger. Howard said Ronnie is challenging. Jon said it stands for Trans Am. Ronnie said they're not allowed to use that on their car. He said it's not Trans Am. Jon said his results are final. Ronnie said he has a T/A and it's Track Attack.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's Ike and he's Mike's brother. He was doing the monotone voice that Mike had. Jon said that when you type in Track Attack a Hot Wheels comes up.
Howard said that Ronnie has to put on his thinking cap here. He asked about what his car thermostat controls the temperature for. Ronnie said Antifreeze. Howard asked Jon if they can accept that. Jon said yes. Howard said it can be coolant or antifreeze. Howard said he got one right. Ronnie was upset about that.
Howard said now it's Mike's turn. He asked what the coin test does. Mike said it's the depth of the tire tread. He was right.
Howard asked Ronnie what SRT stands for. Ronnie said Street Technology and Racing. Jon asked for it in the right order. He had it out of order but it was close enough. They accepted that answer.
Howard asked Mike what GTO stands for. Mike said it's Gran Turismo Operation. Howard said he can't accept that. Ronnie was up and said it's Gran Turismo... He didn't know the rest. It was Gran Turismo Omologato. Ronnie said he went through the windshield of one. He said his friend lost control of the car and crashed and he went through the windshield.
Howard said Ronnie is up in round 4. He asked Ronnie which Dodge was the sister of the Plymouth Roadrunner. Ronnie said the GTX. Howard asked what Dodge was the sister of the Roadrunner. Mike said they got him on this one. He said he doesn't have that one either. Ronnie said he thinks it's the Belvedere. Howard said it was the Super Bee.
Howard asked if Robin is still awake over there. Robin said she's trying. Howard said the score is 2 to 2. He said it'll be funny on the app. Ronnie and Mike ended up arguing about what Ronnie said about having a Hellcat. Ronnie said he never said he wanted it, he just said it would be cool to have one. Howard said there's nothing like having two grown men arguing in toy cars.
Howard asked Mike his 4th question which was ''what was the logo on the Dodge Duster?'' Mike said it was a twister look. Jon said they can accept that. It was a tornado.
Howard asked Ronnie his final question which was ''What is the name of the specific type of hood where the air scoops stick out through a hole?'' Ronnie said velocity stacks. Howard asked it again. It was the hood he was asking about. Ronnie said it's air grabber. Howard asked if he can accept that. Jon said no. Mike said it's the shaker. Howard said he's right. Ronnie said it's the same thing. Mike said it's different.
Howard said the score is 4 to 2. He said this is round 5 and they both get a question. He said Mike stole that from him. He said technically Ronnie can't win but he can steal this one. He said he's trying to help him here.
Howard asked Mike about where a supercharger takes it power from. Mike said the air intake going into the engine. Jon said that is incorrect. Howard asked Ronnie the same question. Ronnie said it gets installed on the motor so it has to be from the motor. He doesn't know. Howard asked if he can accept that. Jon said he needs more specific. Howard said it takes it from the crank shaft. Both of the guys missed that one. Robin said neither of them are experts.
Mike said he's more of an expert than Ronnie. Ronnie said that's fair to say. Robin said it also means that Mike won $500. Mike said now he's excited. Howard said that's courtesy of Dodge. He thanked them for the money. He said they do love Dodge products. Mike and Ronnie said they do love their cars.
Howard said mike seems to know more so he might have to talk to him about cars. Howard asked what car he should buy. Ronnie said a Durango. Mike agreed that's a nice one. He said a Charger R/T would be good for Howard too. Howard said there you go. Mike said it was great seeing them all. Ronnie said he hopes he never sees him again.
Robin said that wraps up a thrilling day. Howard asked what the odds are they'll do this again. Robin said it was canceled after one run. Howard played a song parody to wrap up the game. They went to break after that.
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Howard said it has to suck to have a hit song that you didn't write. Howard said if he was a musician he would write his own songs. He said he'd be like James Taylor or Robert Plant. He said he'd form a band with Jimmy Page. Robin asked if he would be a Roger Daltrey. Howard said no.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he over extended himself recently with a piece of art. He asked how you come to a decision with a piece of art like that. Howard said he's not sure if he's real or not. He said he did announce yesterday that JD paid off his credit card debt. He said people were upset with him for giving advice. He said he's glad he did. Howard read some feedback about JD paying off his card. Howard said one guy got pissed at him for telling him to pay off his card when he has no issue with that. Howard said most of his life he made zero dollars. He said he was just like JD. He said JD is better off than he was. He said he makes more than $96 a week. Howard said he never went into credit card debt. He said he bought his first car with $8,000 in cash. He said he didn't take out a loan. He said he went to zero on his bank account. He said it may not have been the smartest thing to do.
Howard said as far as this call goes he's not sure about the painting. He said he has seen crap paintings go for $90 million. He said they look like ea child drew them. He said Robin painted a Jackson Pollock painting in the studio and he couldn't tell. Robin said it was the other way around.
Howard asked what this caller spent on this panting. The caller said it was $14,000 and he has it on layaway. He said he has a car payment and student loans. Howard asked who the artist is. The guy said the name of the woman and he said he just fell in love with it. Howard said he's not sure who she is but he's sure she's a fine artist. He said he appreciates people who support artists. He said when you have limited funds he thinks it might not be a great investment. He said if it goes up in value them maybe it was. He said it's something that only people with a lot of money should be dabbling in.
Howard said he's not sure that he should be spending that kind of money. The caller said he makes around $100,000 a year. He said he has $25,000 in savings. Howard said he doesn't know. The caller said no one else can buy it now that he has a down payment on it. Howard said maybe it's the right thing. He said he doesn't know. Robin said it's something pleasurable for him so go for it. Howard said only if you can afford it. Howard said he collects paintings because he uses them to inspire his painting. He said he buys them because he doesn't want to go to art shows with people.
Howard took a look at the painting which was called ''A Moonless Night'' and it was just black. Howard said maybe it's a bad shot of it. The caller said it's got stars in it. He said he might not be looking at the right painting. Howard wished the guy, Douglas, luck with the painting. Howard asked why people are asking for his advice.
Howard said they went in to find out who the filthiest guy was there. He said that JD's swab came up pitch black. He said that JD was nervous about it. He said he didn't think anyone was more filthy than Richard. He said he won't even touch Richard. He said he's sure there's lots of feces on Richard's hands.
Howard said they say that 1 in 6 cell phones have fecal matter on them. He said that a lot of people use them in the bathroom. Howard said JD is all fucked in the head over this. He said he thinks he might be the dirty, filthy person. JD said it's just another thing to add on to him. He said he's not sure how it will come out. He said he thinks he's clean. Howard said he might have feces juice on that phone. Howard asked what he does when he's wiping. JD said he'll put it off to the side. Howard asked if he has a case on the phone. JD said he does. Howard said he has feces on his hands so he won't bring the phone into the bathroom with him.
Howard said if you sit and read on the toilet you'll get hemorrhoids. JD said he's not in there that long. He said he'll play a game or something. Howard said he has to teach him something. He said just concentrate on shitting and don't get distracted. He said you can take that to the bank. He said just sit down when it's ready to come out. He said don't play games.
Howard said he likes to flush it right down after it comes out. Howard said the wiping should go down fast too. JD said okay. Howard said he should wipe and then get to the sink. He said his phone might have fecal matter on it. JD said he's sure he does. Howard said he should say the ABCs when he's washing his hands. He said you need that much time to wash.
Howard said they're sending the samples to a medical facility in Tennessee. He said this is no joke. Howard said he thinks he's safe but only because Richard is a mess. JD said they could have tested the tester. He said Memet's desk isn't the cleanest. He said he ran the whole thing.
Howard said they sent the samples in on ice. He said Benjy didn't know where his phone was so they didn't get a sample. Howard said Benjy thinks he threw it out. Gary said he found it in his apartment. Benjy got on the microphone and said he threw out his garbage on his way to work. He said he thought he threw it out or left it in his apartment. Howard said he's the only guy they had a problem with. Howard said they swabbed his backpack instead.
Howard said Gary was on fire because it interrupted his lunch. Gary said that wasn't it. He said Richard ripped a fart in the room when they were having a meeting. He said that's why he was on fire. Howard said that's not right. Robins said Howard laughs when he does that stuff. Howard said there's no reason to do that off the air. He said he does have tape though. He played a clip of Richard ripping the fart. Howard said he'd be pissed too if he was in there.
Howard said they found out today that Sal is vaping again. He said they learned that Ronnie may have forgotten that he didn't cover up his bagel. He said he has been getting a lot of reports about him. Robin said they won't convince him of that. Howard said he thins he just forgot that he left it uncovered. He said he has asked enough people. He said they learned that too. He said they learned some other stuff but he doesn't remember what.
Howard said he's on Instagram now but just to follow his wife. He said he follows Oprah and some artists he's a fan of too. He said Oprah has a garden and she goes around acting like she's growing this stuff herself. He said they don't show the other guys doing it for her. He said he saw her showing off this cauliflower and talking about how healthy it is. He said he's not fat shaming her but the woman is very heavy. He said she can't even hide behind this big tray she has. He said she's eating something more than cauliflower. He asked why she feels she should be giving health tips. Robin said ask her. Howard said if he could get a hold of her he would. He said he thinks she's hit a home run in life but she's giving advice on something that she has no business giving advice on. He said she's not an expert.
Howard said he should be the one giving diet advice. He said he was fat. He said Oprah has to stop with the food. He said she has to stop eating. He said she has to eat less. He said the other day she was serving people at her estate and the table looked like it was set up by a professional restaurant in her house. Howard said he has a nice house and he never shows it off. He said he doesn't think that they should. He said people are just jealous.
Howard had some audio of Oprah talking about cauliflower. Howard said she's so into it. He said he goes ballistic when he hears that. He said he and Robin had cauliflower tampons.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's on the same page as he is with Oprah. He said these people are 500 pounds. Howard said she seems like a lovely woman. Mariann said that she's selling healthy foods but she's over weight. Howard said if he could yell like Mariann he'd be yelling too. Mariann said she ordered the calendar over the weekend. She said that they have their own web site now. She said the cat is so cute. Howard hung up on her. He said he has the calendar covered. He said she doesn't need to help.
Howard said he was going to get into something with Robin but they do a 4 hour show that goes 5 hours. He said he has to end it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said Howard has been asking about where the protests songs are these days. Robin said they say that Miss Americana by Taylor Swift is one of those. Howard played some of the song and said that doesn't feel like a protest song. Howard said she's a pop singer and there's no protest in that. He said a good protest song is ''Ohio.'' Howard asked what she's protesting. Robin said they say that they say it's deeply sad. Howard said he's not getting that. He played more of the song and still didn't get it.
Robin asked if Howard could lay in a closed coffin. Howard said if his life depended on it sure. Robin said this will only get you $800 and some Fright Fest tickets to Six Flags. Robin said several contestants get to lay in coffins and they get a 13 minute break every so often. Howard said he wouldn't want to be locked in a box. He said he'd get claustrophobic. Robin said there are also games you have to play in there. Howard said maybe if he had a game to play. Howard said JD is terrified of coffins. JD said he's afraid of death. Howard asked if he could do it if his life depended on it. JD said yeah but not this. JD mumbled something about the stands for the game were claustrophobic. Howard and Robin didn't understand. Gary explained and said it was the cars Ronnie and Mike were in that he was talking about.
Robin read a story about Larry King and his divorce. Robin said his wife was on Daily Mail talking about it. Robin said she told a reporter that she was blind sided by this and heard it from a reporter. Robin had some audio of Shaun King talking about that. Robin said they say they hadn't had sex in a long time and she's not sure why she was shocked by that. Robin and Howard spent a short time talking about Larry. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Antonio Brown who has a lawsuit filed against him by a doctor who claims he farted in his face repeatedly. Howard asked if Robin would do that. Robin said absolutely not. Robin had some audio of Brown farting in the guy's face. She said she has no idea how they have that audio. JD said Antonio's friends recorded it for Snapchat or something and someone saved it. Howard said that's so weird. Gary said he's doing it on purpose.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves him but why is he so miserable. Howard asked how much time he has. He said that's another 4 hour show. The caller said Howard beats up on everyone there. Howard said he's full of love for everyone there. He asked who he beat up. The caller said JD. Howard asked how he beat him up. The caller said he needs some cash in the bank. He asked if JD has good credit. JD said he has great credit. The caller said then Howard was right to tell him to pay it off. Howard said the credit card companies love JD for paying off his interest every month.
Robin read a story about Blockbuster Video and how they had the opportunity to buy Netflix for $50 million. Robin said the guy who created it went to them and said they could buy them out and he'd run their online division and they said ''No thank you.'' Howard said Netflix did something brilliant. He said he's heard the story from Ted Sarandos. He said the engineer said they can stream and this guy knew they could do it. He said Ted listened to him. Robin said they started out with DVDs in the mail without late fees. Robin said the Blockbuster CEO was trying not to laugh during the meeting. She said Blockbuster was at its height at the time. Howard said Netflix is now the biggest game everywhere. He said they have so much money they could spend $50 million on a Yucko cartoon.
Robin said they are expecting flooding in Texas today. She said there's a tropical depression down that way and they are warning people that flooding will affect people there.
Howard asked Jon Hein what Apple is doing. He said whenever a new movie came out they would have it on iTunes. He said you'd go in there to find the new movies. He said he hasn't seen the last Avengers movie. He said he buys it on iTunes. He said now he goes on there and you can't find any new movies. Robin asked if he has Apple TV. Howard said he has something. Jon said it's very confusing. He said they don't tailor it to what you're looking for. Howard said they don't show the new releases. Jon said it's very confusing. Howard said he has to take a meeting with them and tell them how to do this. He said he wants to spend money and he can't. Robin said you can stream it all off of different services. She said you can get it on Fire TV. Howard asked what that is. Robin said it's Amazon. Jon said you can get it on Amazon. Howard said he's confused. Howard said he's not even sure if he's right about the movie. Robin said that Avengers movie is out. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said Avengers Endgame is out. Jon said it's on Amazon Prime. Howard said he feels like he's missing out on everything.
Howard took a call from Paul-Bobo who said he loves JD and he doesn't think he's beating up on him at all. He said a credit card is a convenient way to pay for things you can afford. He said you don't have to carry that cash around with you. He said you pay it off every month. He said it's not for carrying a balance. Howard said he pays off his card but he carries it to pay for meals. He said he pays it the next day.
Robin read as story about the hearings they had yesterday with Corey Lewandowski. Robin said he wasn't giving up much of anything. Robin had some clips to play. Howard and Robin spent a few minutes talking about that. Howard said the President is saying that everything is corrupt other than him so where does that leave us?
Howard got a note saying that Endgame is available. He said that he thinks he saw Thanos die. He said he felt like there was another one. Robin said there's another Spider-Man. He said they're churning out so many of these things that he doesn't know what he lost. He said he may not have seen Dark Phoenix. He said it's so confusing. He said he has to hire a consultant.
Jon came in and showed him the iTunes store. He was showing him where Endgame was. Howard said he's still not sure if he saw it. He said he may have to get it again. Howard asked what the fuck is going on. He said someone told him Succession was good. He said he wanted to hang himself watching that. He said he didn't like Fleabag either. He said he's not sure what people are talking about with these shows. He said he gives a show 20 minutes and if you can't get him in that time then fuck you. He said Gary seems to have all the time in the world to watch stuff. Gary said Howard watches more Bachelor than he spends time watching TV. Howard said that's bullshit. He said Gary watches a ton of sports. Gary said that's not true. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a Georgia homeowner who killed 3 masked teens in a failed robbery attempt. Robin said the three were wearing masks outside this guy's home. Robin said one guy pulled a gun and the resident returned fire. Robin said this might be one of those stand your ground cases. Howard asked what's to investigate. Howard said he just did it and it's over. He said if you're in his home with a mask then you're going down. Robin said they were teenagers. Howard said it'll be a 5 minute investigation.
Robin read a story about the federal reserve giving a rate drop today. Robin said credit card rates may drop because of that. Howard said maybe he was wrong to tell JD to pay his off. JD said now you tell him.
Robin asked if Howard has heard the movement about not to fly. Robin said Greta Thunberg is going to be on Capital Hill today talking about the global climate crisis. Robin said she's going to ask Congress to take action on climate change. Howard said it'll take him 3 days to get to Florida if he doesn't fly. He said that's perfect.
Robin read a story about how California has strict car emissions policies and the federal government wanted to lower those standards. Robin said the EPA and Trump are going to revoke their standards. Robin said that way they can have heavier cars that are heavier and cheaper. Howard said they don't really need clean air, right Robin?
Robin said they are finding that air pollution can affect the fetus in the womb. She said that they did a study in Sweden that found that pollution can find its way to the placenta.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he doesn't get why he has so many problems with iTunes. Howard said Jon just showed him his and it looked like his use to look. Ralph said everything he has with technology is fucked up. Ralph said Howard always buys movies for 20 bucks instead of waiting for the rental. Howard said he can't wait to rent something. He said he has to buy it. He said he has to watch it on his iPad. He said he's not going to the theater.
Howard took a call from Balls who said he thinks he found the worst song ever recorded. He said it's by The Shags. He said it's the most horrendous thing you'll ever hear. Howard said you have to be talking about main stream songs. Balls asked what he thinks it is. Howard said the worst was ''Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.'' Robin said she thinks it's anything Jimmy Buffet ever made. She said every one of his songs is the worst. Howard said come on. Howard said it had to be Kung Fu Fighting. Fred threw in some suggestions. Howard said there were a lot of bad songs. He said that's a good discussion. Howard said if you want to get down to it then it could be everything Yoko Ono ever put out. He said they'll leave her out of it. They played a few other songs. Robin said the Starland Vocal Band's ''Afternoon Delight'' was really bad. Howard said he hates that fucking Pure Prairie League. Balls kept saying stuff and Howard said he sounds like a fucking gnat flying around while he's trying to listen to the songs. Howard said a lot of Steely Dan was bad too. Howard said Muskrat Love was really bad. Howard said how about Mambo #5 by Lou Bega. That was awful. They played a little bit of each of those songs. Howard said when he's on Dancing with the Stars in 5 years he'll dance to that. Howard said Disco Duck was pretty bad too. He said he was jealous of Rick Dees over that. Gary said what about ''Don't Worry Be Happy.'' Howard said that wasn't that bad. They were throwing out bad song after bad song. Howard said he has to get out of here. He said it would require an entire show to get through that.
Robin read about today being cheeseburger day today. She said they'll have discounts on burgers at restaurants around the country.
Robin read a story about the new Bachelor being announced on the finale of Bachelor in Paradise. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about that.
Robin read a story about Cokie Roberts passing away. Robin had some details about her death. Robin said she was 75 years old and she had a long battle with breast cancer. Howard said it seems like a lot of people are dying off around that age. He said it's a good thing he's only 40. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.