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Howard returned from his week long vacation this morning. He started the show talking about how he got in the studio and thought he beat Robin there but she was in the bathroom. Robin said she gets in around 5:30 and 5:40. Howard said he's usually there around 6. Robin said he never beats her in. Howard said he thought he did. Robin said she had a feeling because the group had already assembled around his desk.
Howard said he had a good vacation. He said he doesn't normally say that. He said normally something goes wrong. He said it's something with his parents or something. He said the weather has been super hot the way he likes it. He said he never complains. He said he likes it when it's hot like that. He said it's been awesome. He said he didn't do much of anything. He said he did something for Robin but she doesn't know about it. He said his whole life is about Robin. He said he did something but she doesn't know it.
Howard said last night before work starts he has this anxiety. He said he's been doing radio for 40 years or whatever and he still gets that. Robin said Howard has been doing it for 40 years. She said they've been doing it together for 38. Howard said he's been doing it for so long and he wasn't able to sleep last night. He said he was up for 2 hours early this morning. He said he had some peaches and cashews trying to get some sleep. He said he wasn't going to jerk off with Beth right next to him. He said it seems wrong.
Howard said they were watching Beverly Hills Housewives last night. He said they went to sleep right after that. He said he's a big fan of that show. He said there's a woman named Camille on there who was in his movie Private Parts. He said she was married to Kelsey Grammer. He said she has an incredible lifestyle because she married him. He said they brought her back on the show. He said if they didn't bring her back the whole show would suck. He said he saw Andy Cohen in the hall and he's the Executive Producer of the show. He said he thinks he thought he was goofing on him when he said he's a big fan of the show but he wasn't. He said he loves the show. He said he suggested to Andy that he get Camille back. He said she's cuckoo and if she wasn't on the show it wouldn't be as good as it is. He said no one calls this one woman out on the musical career she has because she's horrible. He said Camille comes on and does that. He said she told Denise Richards that she's boring on the show. He said he likes Denise but Camille is right.
Howard said Lisa Rinna has had so much surgery on her face that she's turning into a fish. He said she has lips that are insanely huge. He said her lips are bigger than women with plates in their lips. He said you look at her and think about how crazy it is. He said he'd like to know the surgeon who did it. He said the husband must have checked out of that. He said he's always out camping. He said that she reminds him of Heath Ledger as the Joker. He said no one has a bigger upper and lower lip than she does. He said he talked to her about it on the show. He said she claimed she made them so big she had to maintain them. He said it's fucking crazy.
Howard said he's not sure what she's doing. He said she did it to herself so he thinks you can shame her for doing it. He said you have to be able to shame some people. He said you have to be able to shame people who had bad plastic surgery. He asked if you have to be able to shame people. He said you can't even call the cops on these people who end up killing people. He said he's not sure you can even shame terrorists. He said they're a bunch of scumbags.
Howard said he was watching The Bachelorette. He said she's nuts. He said people don't like when he talks about that but he thinks it's the greatest show on TV. He said he doesn't care what anyone says. He said she had it down to 3 guys and she decided to take him into a windmill and fuck him 4 times. He said if he's one of the three guys dating this Hannah B he'd think that he can't marry her if she's fucking this one guy so many times. He said this guy called her out on that and she said that he was slut shamming her. Howard said of course he was. He said she's fucking this guy and she wants to date all of these guys. Howard said she fucked him 4 times and she still couldn't stand him. Howard said if his future wife fucked a guy the night before he asked her to marry him he'd be upset. Robin said she still has problems with Luke P and he came back and tried to propose to her.
Howard said this woman has it down to two guys. Robin said she didn't fuck either one of them. Howard said this one guy plays guitar and he copped to going on the show for his career. He said that he went on to play some of his music but he kind of liked this woman and fell in love with her. He said that she liked hearing that. He said then she finds out he was dating a girl before he came on the show. He said he said to her that he's 25 and he was dating but he told her he's going on the show and he'll see her when he gets back from doing the show. He didn't know he was going go fall in love. Howard said she broke up with him over that. Howard said he would have said something to her about doing the same thing. He said she fucked a guy the night before.
Howard played some audio from the show where the guy proposed to Hannah by singing her a song. The guy sings about ''all the things she's been through'' and Howard cut it off saying that she fucked a guy 4 times in this windmill. He said the guy is strumming the guitar with is boner.
Howard played more of the guy singing to Hannah. He told the guy to get a fucking job. He said no one has a job anymore. He made up his own lyrics for the song where she has jizz on her from the windmill. He made up more of his own lyrics with some guitar playing. He sang about the river of goo and her pussy being stretched wide open. He sang about her fucking that pilot 4 times.
Howard said he loved that show. He said it was a great season. He said everyone was cuckoo on that show. Robin said she got to talk to Tyler on the reunion show. Robin said they went for a drink that night and the next morning he was seen walking out of her house. Then he had a date with Gigi Hadid the next night.
Howard said Robin made fun of him for watching that show. Robin said she only started watching it so she could talk to Howard about it.
Howard said he was watching that show and this girl is fucking more than his YouPorn has fucking. He said he was watching some show on Netflix. He said it was a Star Trek but different. Robin said she knows what he's talking about. Robin said it's like Another Life. Howard said that's it. Robin said she found one called Hit or Miss. He said that's a really good show. Howard said he's watching Love Island. Robin let out an ''Ugh'' when she heard that. Howard said he has to admit he likes it.
Howard said he got into that Billie Eilish. He said he got into her song ''I Wish I Was Gay.'' He said it's pretty good. Fred looked it up and started to play it. Howard had him start it over again.
Howard asked Fred if he watches The Bachelorette. Fred said he goes and watches the Yankees when his wife urns that on. Howard had Fred play that song over again. Fred did and Howard said it sounded better in his room. He said he liked hearing her sing that she wishes she was gay. Gary said it's ''I wish you were gay.''
Gary said he goes by Lucas Dell'Abate. Howard said he should be DJ Baba Booey. He said they can just call him Dell or something. He asked if he dances or stands there smoking a cigarette. Gary said he does a little bit of both. He said he was up there standing on his table getting the crowd going at one point.
Howard said there are some who pretend not to care and just stand there. He said some get into it. Gary said some people were going crazy and dancing around. Howard asked if he wears a big mouse head. Gary said Howard once suggested he wear a penis head but he didn't go for it. Howard said he has some good ideas for him. He said he would get so much attention if he did that stuff.
Gary said that they say that Idris Elba is really good as a DJ. Howard said it's a weird thing that's going on with these kids. He said they're fucked up. Robin asked where Lucas finds his stuff. Gary said he doesn't have any of it handy. Howard said maybe that's best that he doesn't. He said if he doesn't like it he's not going to say that.
Gary said Lucas is in college now and this was awesome for him. He said he'd rather have him in college than doing this. Robin said after college he can go on The Bachelor. Howard said good for Lucas. He said congratulations to him for that. Gary said he's been doing it since 5th grade. Howard asked if he has EDM. Gary said there are like 20 versions of EDM. He said he doesn't understand it all.
Howard asked if it's just dance music. Gary said it is but you mix it with other stuff. Howard said he doesn't like it. He said he likes Lucas but he doesn't understand music these days. Robins said he doesn't understand progress.
Howard said he sees that Lucas is on Spotify. Fred found some of his music and played one of his songs for him. Howard said they say that he's into down tempo music over EDM now. Howard said he's kind of into down tempo. He said he's into bummer music. Howard said maybe he can write some lyrics to this song and jam with Lucas. Howard said this is called ''Where's Sal.'' Fred played some Tan Mom clips over Lucas' song. Howard said he's liking this song. He said he'd listen to this at an Asian Fusion restaurant. Robin said she can see this in a movie. Howard said he can too. He said Fred would be in it.
The caller said he has a condition with his penis after he broke it with a woman he was banging. Howard said he's blaming her but didn't he just break it himself. He said he must have come out and hit her. The caller said he did but he didn't notice anything until 2 days later. He said he woke up in pain. He said it's like broke in half. He said it's like at a 90 degree angle. Howard said Eddie broke his own dick. Eddie said that's right. Howard asked if he can jizz into hi sown face now. Eddie said it just dribbles out now. Howard said it can shoot around the corner.
Howard asked what he has to do. Eddie said he has to get two injections a week for like 6 weeks. He said he has to beat off to reshape it. Howard said he wishes he had to beat off for a good reason. Eddie said you can break it by beating off. Howard said he's gentle with himself when he beats off. He said he will hit the side of Beth's leg once in a while. He said he can pull out accidentally. He said it's happened a few times but he's never hit hard enough to break his dick.
Robin asked if he just keeps going. Howard said he has to. Howard asked what Eddie is going to do. Eddie said there's a plaque build up like in your heart. He said the injections are supposed to help with that and smooth it out.
Howard asked if he has to have an operation at all. Eddie said the injections can rupture the tubes that give you a boner. He said if that happens then you have to have surgery. Howard asked why not just have the surgery. Eddie said that's worse than the injections. Howard asked if they have any good doctors down there. He said he'd come to New York and have it checked out. He said he's never heard of penis sculpting. He said that's how Bruce Jenner became a woman. He said he just cut it off and became a woman so he didn't have to deal with that.
Gary said Sal has a story. Sal came in and said he broke his frenulum when he was 17 years old. He said he was on the front seat of a car and she was kind of dry. He said she sat on him and broke his cock. Howard asked if this was when he was jerking off to his aunt. Sal asked him to stop confusing stories. Sal said she sat on him and his frenulum snapped in half. He said it was horrible pain. He said the skin that holds your head to the shaft snapped right in half. He said he was bleeding as well. He said he broke his penis in half. He said his cock is his life. Howard asked what they did. Sal said he flipped out and went home and went to sleep. He said he told his mom the next day and they told him he had to let it heal itself.
Howard said he never told him that story before. Sal said make sure you lube up. Howard said he has another guy on the phone with this Peyronie's disease. He picked up on that guy, Tony, and he said the worst thing you can do is masturbate. He said his penis took a right turn. He said he can still function. He said it has some flexibility. Tony told Howard about the shots you get an how often you have to get them. He said it sounds like Eddie's broke. Eddie said it's Peyronie's but his is closer to the base. He said you can feel it when it's soft. Howard said maybe Eddie should come to New York to get a top notch doctor to look at it. Eddie said his doctor did come in on a horse. He said he was kind of worried about that.
Tony said when he went to the doctor there were tons of reading material about this Peyronie's disease. He said it's more common than you'd think.
Howard did his impression of the bad doctor riding in on a horse to treat Eddie. Howard was talking about some strange treatments for the disease. He had him hitting the guy on the head and lassoing his balls.
Howard asked if he really rode up on a horse. Eddie said he was kidding. He said he has a good job and good health insurance. Howard said he has another guy on the phone and this guy is a urologist. He said he's dealt with this. Eddie said his doctor's name is Richard said he's Dr. Dick.
Howard took the call from the Urologist. Howard said he hopes he doesn't hang up on anyone. He said he has to lock them all in. He said this is Dr. Josh. Josh said he fixes a broken dick every weekend he's on call. Howard asked how you fix it. He said Dennis Rodman broke his. Dr. Josh explained how the penis works and how they fix a broken penis. Josh said that when guys come in they usually did it after fucking a girlfriend. He said it's not usually with the wife. He said they end up hitting the pubic bone. He said the story is the same and the guys hear a pop. Sal said he heard the pop. Eddie asked Josh about the penis modeling and how that should work. He said he's pulling it and twisting it like a pretzel. Howard said come in there and he'll have Fred handle it for him. Dr. Josh said he should be bending it in the opposite direction of the plaque.
Howard said he's breaking up the cartilage in the penis. Josh told Howard what they do when someone breaks their penis. He said that one guy did it so bad it ruptured the urethra. He said that guy had to have a catheter for 3 weeks. Robin asked if this guy can get away with the modeling and no surgery. Dr. Josh said that's possible. He gave some statistics for how things can work. Eddie said he was wondering if it was going to go back straight. Josh said they don't go back arrow straight again. Howard said he would not want to go through this. He said he almost doesn't want to fuck after hearing this. Josh said that Peyronie's comes from scarring so Howard should be okay. He said guys have less firm erections as they age so that can cause it. Howard said he doesn't want to hear more of this. He said he's heard enough.
Howard said he's not going to be rough with Beth anymore. He said he's going to be gentle. He said he doesn't want his dick to be shaped like a balloon animal. Josh said they predict that 1 in 7 men will get Peyronie's. Josh said it's nothing to be afraid of if you get it. He said that you should go to a doctor.
Howard asked if the doctor has to rub a guy to get him hard. Josh said he can feel the plaque if he has them in. He said that he doesn't need them to be hard. He said he can get them to take pictures.
Howard asked if guys ever get hard for him. Dr. Josh said that can happen. Howard said he has to let them all go. He said he bets that Dr. Josh doesn't go at it too hard because he doesn't want to break his dick. Dr. Josh said he is careful. Eddie asked what the likelihood is that he'll have to go back for round 4. Josh rattled off some stats and he said that he rarely does it more than 3 times. He said they can do surgery if it doesn't work. Howard asked how old these guys are. Eddie said he's 54. Tony is 46.
Tony asked if getting a woman to blow him is a good oral treatment. Howard said he has one last question. He asked why his cock hasn't grown since he was an infant.
Eddie said he'll call back after his next treatment. Howard let the guys all go after that. Howard said Sal's cock is all good now. Sal said it is. He said that was good stuff.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who said he broke his cock and it was the best thing ever. Howard took the call from one of the guys in the back who said he can now fuck himself in his own ass. He demonstrated for Howard. Howard said he has to take a break. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that they're back live for those who think they're still on vacation. He said there was a democratic debate while they were off. He said he's waiting until they get down to about 10 people before watching. He said he doesn't need 20 people. Robin said it was pretty high up there. Howard said the problem he has it that they're trying to out-liberal each other. He said that they're coming up with all kinds of stuff to out do each other. He said if he were running for president he would say that we're an embarrassment internationally and he's going to make up with England and France. He said the democratic party seems to be moving too far left. He said that he'd say he's against illegal immigration but don't get crazy about it like Trump did. He said he'd do whatever Obama did. He said he got rid of 3 million illegal immigrants.
Howard said Marianne Williamson is some kind of self help guru. Robin said they had her on the show once. Howard said they must have been hard up. Robin said Howard heard that she was her guru and she came on the show. Howard did an impression of these gurus. Howard said this Marianne was a spiritual guru. He said she's Jewish too. He said it's hard to track everyone when they have a name like Williamson.
Howard said he's Robin's spiritual advisor. Robin said she has met Katy Perry, Phyllis Diller and others.
Howard said Marianne wants to spend millions of dollars on reparations. He played a clip of her talking about that at the debate.
Howard said they made up some crazy liberal laws that they want to bring out there in New York. He said they went out on the street and told people what they were and people didn't bat an eye at them. Howard had a clip of Sal out on the street telling people what they were going to be doing. One of the things was making half of the stars on the flag turning brown to celebrate the end of slavery. This woman didn't think that was a big deal.
Howard said they told people that women should be able to take back consent 2 days after the sexual act takes place. The woman they talked to said that sounds reasonable.
Howard played another one where they told someone that they have to have kids go to the bathroom in a clear stall so security guards and keep an eye on them. The guy they talked to said that sounds good.
Howard said a guy said he was for getting rid of the White House because it was built by slaves.
Howard said they weren't able to come up with anything that people didn't agree with. Howard said he has fake Bernie Sanders on the phone to talk about this. Howard said Bernie is for blowing up the pyramids. Fake Bernie had some ideas like giving a newborn baby both a penis and a vagina so they can choose what they want. He said he will make every drug cost a nickel and that includes crack. Bernie said that they have to get rid of 99 percent of the candidates. Howard went through some of the candidates and Bernie commented on them.
Bernie said he knows Cardi B and he recorded a song with her. He sang the song for Howard. Bernie said if he doesn't win this time he will have to either die or become Howard's limo driver. Howard told him to hang in there. Bernie said goodbye to Howard and ''rich bitch'' Robin.
Howard said there you go. He said that's what's happening. He said he's never heard such a good song. He said maybe he should take another break and regroup. He said he'll take a couple of calls.
Robin said that show Hit or Miss is about a pre-op transsexual and you get to see her penis a lot in the show. Howard said he loves that. He said he would watch that. Robin said Chloe Sevigne is the transsexual. Howard said that sounds politically incorrect to have a woman playing a transsexual. Robin said she's always whipping it out. Gary said asked if it's called Hit and Miss. Robin said she has said that about 5 times now. Howard said Gary is probably tired from going to Chicago. They went to break after that.
Howard said Brent must be into Motorhead. Robin said probably. Howard said he thinks this was the last thing Lemmy recorded before he died in 2015. He said this came out like 4 months later. Howard asked Robin what she thinks about his new style. Robin said she likes it. Howard said he's singing like Lemmy. He said rest in peace Lemmy. Howard said that guy had huge warts on his face and he just went out like that. He said that's like Ralph and his berry. He said Lemmy's warts were solid but Ralph's berry looks like it would pop off. He said if he had a wart on his face he might get it burned off. Robin said he's so vain.
Howard said he bought the Peloton bike. He said he went to the Peloton headquarters. Robin said he told her that on the phone but not on the show. Howard said they had him there and he told them he was only there to learn about it. He said he wasn't there to get a free bike. He said he didn't want to owe them anything. He said they were very nice people there. He said it's an exercise bike with a screen on it. He said the teachers take you through the ride. He said he got his heart rate up. He said that was good. He said he dropped 5 pounds. He said he did that Shakeology drink and got into the Peloton.
Howard said he's not going to sign up and make friends with other Peloton users. He said Gary has a Peloton and he asked him some questions about it and he didn't know the answers. He said he wrote him emails and Gary didn't know anything. He said he didn't know shit.
Howard said he went to Peloton for a lesson. He said he has to go back for more. He said they lock in your ankles and it hurts. He said he wants to figure out a different way to do that. He said he writes to the guy who runs Peloton. He said the guy must think he's retarded. He said they don't tell you how many times you should work out. He said it says it right here. He said he just doesn't want to read the whole thing.
Howard said he dropped 5 pounds between that and the Shakeology. He said they were sending him freebies. He said he buys his own though. Howard said Robin said it bothers her when she shat. He said that Robin does shit.
Howard said he wishes he didn't talk to Robin about the Shakeology. He said he buys into all of that. He said this woman went around the world looking for ingredients for this drink. He said that she went off with some dude and not her husband. He said that woman ran off with some dude and her husband is now running the company.
Howard said he makes his own shake and he puts in his own stuff. He said Beth gets mad at him because the cats are afraid of the blender. He said that she'll tell him that the cats ran out of the room. He said it's on for like 2 seconds. He said he called Robin to tell her about the Shakeology and her bowel movements were messed up from it. He said a day later his were too. He said he had these skinny and loose bowel movements. He said he was having good ones before that. He said it says it will help you be regular. He said Robin just had to say it and then he was in her boat. He said he had to cut back on the Shakeology stuff. He said he was thinking about her dump. He said then his wife is yelling at him about his drink. He said it's really addictive. He said it was kind of metallic tasting but then the next day he wanted it. He said he ran downstairs like a baby waiting to be fed.
Howard said he dropped 5 pounds. He said he does the Peloton thing 3-4 times a week. He said that they want you to sample every teacher. He said all of the male teachers blow. He said they don't explain things. He said the women all explain. He said they don't assume you're an expert. He said they tell you exactly what to do. He said they count you down and everything. He said the guys just mumble it out. He said then they give you a ''you can do it.'' He said he doesn't want to hear Pollyanna-ish bullshit.
Howard said he's doing this 6 week beginner class. He said they're like 25 minutes long. He said he gets cranky if he does more. He said he has his seat set high and he feels he's resting on his shoulders too much. He said he thinks he's doing it right though. He said he likes personal instruction. He said he may have to buy the company and have people teach him. He said he wants to be explained. He said this guy is telling you that you're a big strong guy. He said he's a douche bag.
Howard said he dropped 5 pounds from doing this stuff. He said it seems to be working. He said he thinks he looks better. He said he was having solid bowel movements and then Robin tells him about this problem she had. Then he had a problem the next day. He said his shit was coming out like it was trying to spell words. He said his brain is so strong that her words can make his feces come out wrong.
Howard said he had some regular meals and everything went back to normal. He said it was no thanks to Robin. Robin said he can't do it every day. Howard said he did during vacation.
Howard said they gave him a workout outfit at Peloton. He said he won't be wearing that. He said he has the special Peloton shoes though. He said he uses those. He said they have the clips on them. He said he was going to friend Gary on the Peloton but he decided against it. He said he's on the web site on Facebook and people take pictures of themselves next to their bikes. He said they're all douche bags. He said he thought that they'd have tips and stuff but they don't do that. He said some of the women shouldn't be there taking photos. He said one was saying it was her after picture. He didn't think that was possible.
Howard said he'd like to see tips and not strange looking people. He said he wasn't digging his Peloton family. He said he does dig the bike though. He said he'll be on it today.
Howard asked Gary how often he does it. Gary said he's on it 3 days a week. He said some are on it for 7 days a week an hour at a time. Howard asked if Gary did the beginner stuff. Gary said no but he had been on another bike. Howard said he wants to be told exactly what to do in those classes. He said just tell people what to do step by step.
Gary said that Benjy was saying he doesn't like the male instructors in the live classes because they lock eyes with him and he thinks that's very gay. Howard said he likes that Benjy doesn't want any men looking at him. He said those men aren't attracted to him. Benjy got on the microphone and said that it just feels gay but he knows it's not. He said that it's too intimate for him. Howard said he's looking into his meatball eyes.
Benjy said he can tell him how to unclip. He said just twist your heal out. He said you don't have to do it that hard. Howard said keep the weight on your toes. Benjy said that's right. Gary said you can adjust the tension of the spring. Howard told him they tell you not to do that. Gary said he had to get his feet out.
Howard said he felt like he was going to pass out the other day. He said he's good at denying himself food though.
Howard said he doesn't know what that guy is talking about. He said he's not sure why he'd be in a group and not talk to them. He said he just likes to be able to work out in his house.
Howard said Memet went to Benjy's Peloton class and he said Benjy is hardly working out. He said it was pretty bad. Gary said Benjy says he beat Memet. Benjy said Memet would say so too.
Howard said Benjy didn't listen to his instructor according to Memet. Benjy said they were sitting way in the back. Howard said he also heard he showed up late to class. Benjy said he was late by about 5 minutes and he still beat Memet.
Memet came in and said that Benjy did beat him but that's because he's so fat. He said he hardly had to move to beat him. Benjy said his entire number was higher than Memet's. Memet said he was at like 120 revolutions and Benjy was barely moving. He said Benjy ignores what the instructor tells him to do. Benjy said all that matters is what happens at the end. Memet said that he went along with Benjy just to check it out.
Howard asked what Benjy weighs. Benjy said he was 242.5 pounds this morning. Howard said Benjy is playing with fire with showing up late. He said he almost showed up late this morning to work. Benjy said he got off at the wrong place going to Peloton. He said his credit card wasn't working in the cab. Howard said he's playing with fire showing up so close to being late to work again. He said they are going to fire him if he shows up late again. Benjy said he usually comes much earlier. He said he just came later this morning. Howard said he does everything he can to help him keep his job. Benjy said he appreciates that very much. Howard said just come in early and read the paper.
Benjy wanted to tell a story but Howard cut him off saying he's heard enough from him today. He said he's going to fuck up again and get fired.
Howard said Robin used to go to those Marianne Williamson talks. Robin said she went with friends to them. She said she thought they were interesting but she stopped going after a while. Howard said he can't take those self help things. Robin said that they were more spiritual things than self help. She said she had a book that she would interpret. Howard said he might have to go to that. He said it sounds kind of funny. He said he likes that she's running for president.
Howard said she was on the show 25 years ago because Robin mentioned her. Howard asked what the speeches were like. Robin said they were like an hour. Robin said the book was called ''A Course in Miracles.'' Sal thought it was called ''The Urantia Papers'' because it's something he's reading right now. Howard asked him to explain what that book is about. Sal said it explains how the earth was created. Howard asked why he would believe that. Sal explained to Howard why it's believable to him. He said it's a combination of a bunch of religions. Howard said the book is 2100 pages. He asked if he read it all. Sal said he didn't read it all. He said he just got into it recently. He said they have group meetings in the city that he might go to.
Gary said some couple in the 1920s had a neighbor who would talk in his sleep and they thought that these things were coming from some celestial being that they didn't know about.
Sal said he thinks Howard would like the book. He said it might give you some answers that he's looking for. Sal said it's an amazing book. Howard asked how he hasn't read it but he thinks it's incredible. Sal said he researched it. He said it gets a bit complicated. He said he's been reading sections of it. Howard asked how you pick which sections to read. Sal said in the bible they only have a short portion about Jesus. He said in this book they explain Jesus more.
Howard said he has Mother Theresa on the phone to talk to Sal. He took the call from one of the guys in the office who was telling him that he's just fucking stupid. Howard asked Sal what he has to say to that. Sal said that's fine. He said it's good to research. Howard asked what research he's doing. Sal said id you question life then here are things you can read that can educate you. Howard asked why you'd believe that over a scientist. Sal said there are scientists who have validated this book. Howard asked who they are. Sal didn't know.
Howard asked if he believes in man made global warming. Sal said he takes back all of what he has said in the past. He said he read Urantia and he thinks that he should take an effort to preserve the universe. He said he's recycling and picking up garbage when he sees it. He said he recycles and separates and goes to the recycle places. He said he takes the extra effort. Howard said he's not only separating but recycling. Sal said he's covering the whole gamut. He said we should all have a respect for the universe.
Gary said that he has a list of people who were big fans of the book. He said they're all musicians and they're all dead. He rattled off the list of about 4 guys who were into it.
Howard said this guy Jerry was great. He said he was on a roll with them and he got this girl called 'Gina Girl who was kind of slow. He said that she'd ask Jerry to bathe her and things like that. He asked Fred if he has any clips of her. Fred said she's only in bits. Howard said Jerry was providing great material on the show. He said that's where that stuff came from. Robin said Jerry just stopped coming on the show. Howard said he thinks they took 'Gina Girl away from him. He said it sounded wrong when she asked him to bathe her.
Gary said that no one was interested in taking care of her until they heard her on the show. Howard said then they took her away from him. Robin asked where Jerry went. Howard said he thinks he went to Florida. He said he may have died. He said he was a good guy. Gary said he may not be with them anymore.
Howard said they did this thing called the 'Gina dance. He said 'Gina Girl came in and did it and they were rubbing their asses on the ground. Howard said they honor those days on the show. He said that was probably in the 90s. Robin said it may have been in the late 80s.
Howard said they used to get that kind of guy on the show when they were on terrestrial radio. He said they now have a more upscale audience so they don't get calls from people like that now.
Fred played 'Gina Man saying ''God don't want me yet man, I got more feet to taste.'' Howard said he thinks Mother Teresa was kissing feet back when he said that. Howard said they had that Armie Hammer guy getting his toes sucked by his baby and he got a lot of flack about that on the internet. Howard said that's good because that's not what you want out there. He said he heard the video went on for like 7 minutes.
Howard said 'Gina Man and Jerry were the best. He said 'Gina Girl too.
Richard called in and told him that he made her husband laugh so hard that he cut his head off with a chain saw. Then Ethel shit herself from laughing so hard. The host took a call doing an Indian accent. The guys called in again with another laughing at the unfunny joke bit that led to the driver of a hearse dying in a car crash. They went to break after that.
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Howard said that was like his version of heaven going to those parties. Robin didn't like them. Howard said they were lovely. He said they had some fun times. He said he remembers hanging out with Chris. He said they had two big hit songs. He said he never saw him again after they were on the show. He said he had a weird look and he danced around funny. He said he wondered if he was straight and he found out he was when they went to Scores.
Howard said this song is great too. Fred was playing their song ''Little Miss Can't Be Wrong.'' Howard let that play for a short time.
Howard said they also had ''Pocket Full of Kryptonite.'' He asked Fred to pull that one out. He said that was their best one. Fred played the song and Howard talked it up like a top 40 DJ. Howard said the guy is so relaxed.
Jeff said this shit with Shuli is bullshit. He said that this past weekend he had High Register Sean and he's having High Pitch Erik and someone else next weekend. Howard said he's trying to figure this out. He said Jeff thinks that Shuli is setting up the shows with Wack Packers.
Shuli came in and said that Sean bought his own tickets and he brought him out at the last 5 minutes of the show. He said people enjoyed it. Howard asked Jeff what he thinks about this. Jeff said Shuli's fans are at the airport where he's working. Shuli asked where all of Jeff's fans are. He asked whose fans they are on Cameo who he's fleecing. Jeff said they're his fans from the Howard Stern Show. Shuli asked who provides a better service, him or Jeff. Jeff said that's questionable. Howard said what a phone call this has been. Robin said this was a B- at best. Jeff said that's passing, bitch.
Shuli said he didn't mention that Seany or Erik are going to his shows. He said that he didn't plug them, Jeff did. Shuli said Jeff blocked him on Twitter and he had to call him. He said then he unblocked him. He said he called and asked if he had a moment of clarity. He said Jeff tells him that he feels he did nothing wrong. Shuli said that's because he's an asshole every day of his life. Jeff said Shuli is an ass kisser bitch boy. He told him to fuck off.
Howard said way to prove Robin and Fred wrong. He said this was a great call. Shuli did his impression of Jeff and Howard asked if they're getting a puppet of Jeff. Howard said Jeff needs Shuli because he's the only one paying attention to him. Jeff said he's always stabbing him in the back. Howard asked if Jeff can not swear. Jeff said of course he can. He beeped himself when he was asked not to curse.
Howard asked who he calls when Shuli doesn't call him. Shuli said he calls Mariann. Jeff said he and Mariann go back. Howard said that was a decent call today. Robin said she said it was a B-. She said he's always great when he's fighting with someone.
Howard said he got reports on Shuli while they were off. He said maybe he didn't hear much. He said if they get a Jeff puppet Shuli can be in there a lot more.
Howard said he met with the TV people. Shuli got the Tan Mom puppet while he was telling him that. Howard said they were going to have a puppet stage built for the Tan Mom puppet. He said they're going to build a stage over there and they'll have a green screen behind them so they can have them go to different places. Shuli said that will be great. He did some of his Tan Mom puppet voice. Howard said they can have her getting a plate in her head after falling down the well. He said they can have a whole theater there. He said he was on fire in the meeting.
Howard asked if Tim has a teaching degree. Shuli said he thinks so. Robin said he may not even need one. Howard said he's listed as a lecturer at UCLA. He said he was offered an honorary doctorate at a college. He said he was offered stuff from his own college but he turns that down. He said that he doesn't want to be bothered. He said he pays them to shut the fuck up when he donates to the college.
Howard said he met a guy he went to college with and it turns out he wasn't even in the same year. Howard said the guy graduated a year ahead of him. He said he gets this from everyone. Robin said she got that from a girl who was the daughter of someone who said she went to school with her. Robin said she was trying to be in the story but she wasn't.
Howard said he was at this party and he ran into Governor Cuomo. He said he had been talking to his wife about him all week. He said now they are the only state that has banned declawing cats. He said he knows about that because they're so involved with cats. He said it's like removing someone's fingers. He said Cuomo signed this law that says you will get fucked up if you declaw a cat. He said he hopes more states adopt this. He said then he shows up at this party he's at. Howard said he had to thank him for that. Howard said Cuomo did something good there and he hopes people thank him for it. He said Cuomo said it was a no brainer. Howard said Beth was a big fan of his too.
Robin said she has someone who she has to hook up with Beth. She said he's started a web site to help people find their animals when they get lost. Howard said Beth is working with Jeff Shick on starting a directory of people who abuse their animals. He said she went to the trial of the people who killed the dogs they adopted from the North Shore Animal League.
Howard said there's a bald eagle that lives at this wildlife center and someone stole the eagle and won't give it back. He said it's so fucked up. Howard said there was a story in the paper about this woman who was a nanny for a family and the family was going to euthanize the cat so the nanny stole the cat. He said now they're charging her with theft. He said it's so ridiculous. He said just let the woman have the cat instead of killing it. Howard said they want the cat back but they want to euthanize it. He said Beth is keeping an eye on the story. He said he doesn't understand people.
King said he wants to talk about Ralph. He said he was tweeting about the Eric Gardner thing and how he died because of what he did. He said he was talking about if you can't do the time then don't do the crime. He said he didn't like that he was talking about that the way he was. Howard said he's not sure what Ralph was writing. He said he didn't read it. Howard said everything comes out all fucked up when you tweet. He said maybe he was making the point that if you don't commit a crime then you won't be involved with the police.
Howard asked what he has to do with this. King said he has another problem. He said they're still on Ralph. He said then he tweets something about Reparations. He asked what he's talking about. He said he was talking about people wanting reparations for work they did. Howard said he believes that. He said there was a lot of free work. He said he's not sure why he's arguing with him about this. He said he can't discuss this if Ralph isn't there. King said that's his boy though. Howard said Jeff was better than King today. He picked up on Jeff the drunk again and told him that. Jeff said he appreciates that. He called out Fred and Robin on not wanting him on today. Jeff said they don't turn down Bobo's calls. Shuli said Bobo delivers unlike Jeff. Jeff told Shuli to get the fuck out of the studio.
Howard said he thinks Shuli got some feedback in the email. He said he thinks it was negative. Howard read some feedback about Chad and JT who were on the week before vacation. Howard read through some of that. He had some feedback about the Ronnie talking about taking horny goat weed.
Howard said he asked Ronnie what he did on vacation and he said nothing. He said he's so miserable. Shuli said he thinks he went to NASCAR.
Howard said he has some feedback about Shuli and Jeff fighting. He read through that and people were going off on Shuli about what happened with Jeff.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves hearing Shuli and Jeff arguing with each other like they're in high school. Howard said he met a woman over vacation who said that she is a big fan of the show. He said she was a nice lady and Beth asked if it makes him feel better about the show. He said it really doest. He said it doesn't make him want to work.
Howard asked if he should feel better about work just because this woman likes the show. Robin said yes.
Brent came in and said it's more difficult than you think. He said he's trying to do it on his cell phone. He said he's trying to do it without her knowing it. He said she said that she's fine with it but he won't tell her right before.
Shuli said he records his sets on stage and he picks it up. Brent said he's not recording with a speaker system at the show. He said his analogy is dumb. Robin said when they decided to tape her singing in her studio in Washington DC Fred got it in one shot. Brent said she was on microphone though.
JD said you hear the air conditioning more than anything in this clip. Brent said the air is on the side of the bed but the phone wasn't near it. JD said Katelyn is louder than Brent. Brent said no guy should make noise. Howard said he doesn't even make a sound when he cums. He said the woman shouldn't know you're even there. Robin said don't get crazy.
Howard said he was into dirty talk with this one woman he was seeing and she liked it. He said he tried it with Beth and she didn't like it so he stopped making any noise at all. He said now he's completely silent. He said he doesn't even make a sound when he finishes.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that hey all know how Jeff is going to be and they wall want him there. She said he should be at the shows. Shuli said he won't be at his shows anymore. Shuli said he will never want him at any of his shows again. Mariann said that he just tweeted him the other day about him blocking him. Shuli said he was calling him to find out if he had made a mistake in being an asshole. Mariann said they know how he's going to act. Shuli said they don't have to think it's okay. Mariann said he's part of the show. Shuli said let him do his own thing. She said she's not sure why Shuli is so worked up. Shuli asked if she has any idea how hard it is to work on stage. She said she does. She wasn't listening to him so Shuli gave up on trying to explain. He said Jeff is never coming to any of his shows again. Mariann started to get into a rant about swimming and paying attention to police. Howard hung up on her in the middle of that.
Howard asked if Brent did any swinging over the weekend. Brent said no. He said concert season is here and he had to go to two nights if Iron Maiden. Shuli said he and Brent hung out over the vacation. He said he invited him to go to a soccer game. He said they don't hang out a ton. He said he went with him and he wasn't sure how that was going to go.
Shuli said at the game he knows the guy who does the camera work so he had him point an arrow at Brent when he held up a sign that says ''Liar.'' He said Brent didn't even realize it.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk is back again. Robin said this time it's about Shuli and Mariann talking about him. Shuli did his impression of Jeff calling him names and saying that Mariann is right. Howard asked if he will be that clear. Shuli did it less clear.
Howard picked up on Jeff who said that Shuli is telling a fib. He was talking about something that was unintelligible. Jeff said the stage wasn't touchable from where he was sitting so that's a lie that he was hitting the stage. Jeff said Shuli is a liar. Shuli said he knows he could touch the stage because he had to use it to help himself stand up. Jeff said he was in a wheelchair. Shuli said that's what a mess he was. He said they had to wheel him out. Jeff said he was in it before the show. Howard asked how they got him in the wheelchair. Shuli said they had to pull him up and into the chair. He said they put him in that to wheel him out.
Howard said he did try to touch the stage then. Jeff said that was a different part of the stage. Shuli said he was adamant that he didn't touch the stage. Jeff said he wasn't banging on it. Howard said this is how the debates should go. Shuli did his Jeff impression and had him arguing with different candidates.
Howard said he has to get to news. He thanked the guys for coming in. He told Brent to get that sex recorded. Brent said he'll bring a real microphone. Fred played a clip of a loud machine running and JD said that's exactly what it sounded like. Howard asked JD to pull him a clip. He said Brent has been trying for like 8 months to get it right.
Howard asked if Brent wants Shuli to record it for him. Brent said he wants nothing to do with Shuli. He said that was really shitty of him to do what he did to him at the game. Howard said that is kind of shitty.
Howard said he has a preview of Brent's sex clip. He played it and there was a loud air conditioning noise in it. There was some moaning going on. Howard said Katelyn had to get up and go to the bathroom because Brent was taking so long to finish. Howard said it should be 3 minutes tops. Brent said he can take up to 30 minutes. He said it takes a while. Brent said he has gotten to a point where she says he has to stop. Howard said at one point she goes to make a sandwich. Brent said women need like a minute or two. Robin said 30 minutes is outrageous. Brent didn't think so. Howard said he takes 3-4 minutes and his wife is thankful. He said then he won't bother her for a day or two.
Howard had another clip of Brent and Katelyn after Katelyn had to get up to remove her tampon. Howard played that one and Katelyn was moaning. Howard said he likes that. Then there was some banging of the bed frame hitting the wall. Then there was some whispering going on. Howard asked what she was saying. JD said he thinks she was telling him to go deeper. Gary said Benjy thinks that she said she wanted him to finish with the jackhammer. Howard said he thought she was saying ''Please have a bigger dick.''
Howard said she sounds sexy when she whispers like that. Brent said she gets it done. Robin sad she gets the impression that she wonders what she has to stay to get him to finish. Howard said he'll play more tomorrow. He said maybe he'll do it now. He played another clip of some skin on skin slapping sounds. Katelyn was moaning really loud after that. Howard said way to go Brent. Katelyn was telling him to fuck her hard. Brent said she's a wild woman.
Shuli asked if they're just sitting on the bed making the banging sounds. Shuli said it's odd that it got really clear there. Brent told Howard to ask JD if he gave him a doctored tape. JD said he doesn't believe so.
Howard played another clip of Katelyn asking Brent if he was going to cum soon because her pussy is getting sore. Howard asked if they heard that. Brent said that he's not trying to hold out. He said it's over stimulation.
Howard said he thinks that's her basically saying her pussy wants to throw up his dick. He said thanks for that. He said he can't stay in that long. He said a woman can get worn out. Robin said it makes them less enthusiastic about it. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Robin started her news talking about Howard saying that woman didn't make him feel any better about his job. Robin said Steve Perry quit the music industry and went into seclusion for a long time. Howard said he likes the new guy in Journey. Robin said Steve Perry met a woman with cancer and he went to a baseball game with her once. Robin said some women saw him out and they told him how much his music meant to them. Robin said Steve went off thinking that was nice but the girlfriend told him that this is what he should be doing. Robin said she told him that if he can do that then he should share it with the world. Robin said that inspired Steve to make music again. Robin said that inspired him to put out a new album in 2018. Robin had some of his new music. Howard said Steve wasn't very nice to him. He said he's very anti-Steve Perry. Howard played some of his new song and said it was terrible. He played another song and said he needs Neal Schon from Journey. Howard said he walked into the room back in Washington DC and Steve said ''Oh. Big Bird.'' Howard said like he hadn't heard that before. He said the guy really goofed on him in an arrogant way. He said he acted like he was better than him. He said he was at the time but still, don't act that way.
Robin read a story about Tom Brady extending his contract with the New England Patriots. She had some details about that deal.
Robin read a story about ''Once Upon a Time in Hollywood'' coming out. Howard said he wants to see The Irishman. He said he saw a preview of that and it looks like Robert De Niro looks young again in it. Robin said they did that in Star Wars with Princess Leia. Howard said they don't need new actors. He said they can have old ones looking young. Robin said Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt are in the movie and it's a revisionist history kind of movie. Robin said she's not a fan of that. She said she has mixed feelings about the movie. She said the whole story doesn't work for her. She said Leo is out promoting the movie and people are wondering who his girlfriend is now. Robin said it's someone named Camilla Ramone. Robin said she put out some pictures of herself and people were giving her a hard time about that. Robin said Camilla went on Instagram to snap back at those people. Robin had some audio of her defending the post. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Kevin Spacey attempting a comeback. Robin said he has a strange way of doing it. Robin said he wants to get the approval of the public so he just came out and recited a poem. Howard said that will work every time. Robin had some audio of Spacey reciting ''The Boxer.'' Howard said he feels better about him.
Robin read a story about Woody Allen suing Amazon. Robin said he was supposed to make some movies for them and then the allegations about him and one of his daughters started up again. Robin said that led to Amazon stepping away from the agreement with him. Robin said Woody said there were no grounds for them to break that agreement so he's taking them to court. Howard said he probably doesn't stand much of a chance. He said he had some stations back out of their deals with him and he was going to go to court and everyone said just give up. He said you should be able to collect on it if you have a contract.
Robin said she's getting tired of these mass shootings. She said they had two in one day over the weekend. Robin said there was a shooting in El Paso and at least 20 people died there. Robin said the 21 year old suspect was taken into custody. Robin said he could get the death penalty for that. Robin said he had a manifesto where he was complaining about the Hispanic invaders in this country. Howard said this is why Trump has to stop with the rhetoric. Robin said he won't do that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about the shooting story. She said that a lot of the politicians are blaming the president's rhetoric. Robin said some are blaming violent video games. Robin said people are calling for gun control. She said that the President is saying the fake news media is causing the hatred build up over the years.
Howard said Speech Impediment Man has written a joke about Jeff the Drunk. He picked up on Speech who said that Jeff is so vile that even people in his trailer park think he's white trash. Howard asked what the punch line is. Speech repeated the line. Howard thought he was saying ''white trass.'' Speech repeated the joke again and again. Howard said that's not a joke. Speech said even Budweiser requests Jeff stop drinking their beer. Fred played a bomb dropping sound. Howard said he'd like to make a suggestion. He told him to take that joke and throw it in the ''trass.''
Howard picked up on Jeff the drunk who said that's he lamest thing since sliced bread. Howard said there you go. Jeff and Speech went at each other with lame insults for a few seconds. Howard said he liked that joke. Robin said don't call in with something that just came off the top of your head. Howard said he's going to sign them up for the world's worst roast battle. Speech wanted to tell another joke but Howard hung up on him before he could get to it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Governor Cuomo weighing in on the latest shootings. Robin had some details about that.
Robin read a story about people getting on Neil deGrasse Tyson about downplaying these mass shootings. Robin read a quote from Neil and how other people are lost in this country every day.
Robin read a story about Mitch McConnell breaking his shoulder at his home when he fell.
Robin read a story about a kid who had over 500 teeth removed from his mouth. Robin said the kid's problem kept getting worse and worse so he had to have something done. Howard said it was an interesting picture. Robin said it looked like something out of a horror movie. Robin said he was suffering from compound composite odontoma. Robin said they found hundreds of teeth inside this boy's mouth.
Robin read a story about a shark attack off the coast of Florida over the weekend. Robin said this man was in knee deep water. Howard said he was considering going in the ocean. He asked if this has to do with global warming.
Robin read a story about Burger King coming out with a meatless burger. Howard said good. He said some of that fake stuff is good. He said he hasn't had one of these burgers. He said he's never had a really great veggie burger. Robin said they're not necessarily veggie burgers. Howard said he's never had a great one but he's waiting. He said he's never been into eating meat.
Howard said he was reading about pigs and how these guys went in and stole this pig from a farm to prove that the pigs are so doctored that they shouldn't be eaten. Robin said they have issues with cows eating corn since that's not their natural food. Howard said this pig is all better now and happy. He said he thought the story was admirable. Robin said the public doesn't care. She said they just want their meat.
Robin read as story about Victoria's Secret and their fashion show not happening this year. Howard said that's okay. He said he doesn't need that. Robin said a model revealed that the show may have been canceled this year. Howard said you'd think super hot chicks in their underpants would be watched but there's something not sexy about it.
Robin read a story about the new Fast and Furious movie being at number 1 this week. Robin said Hobbs and Shaw was number 1. Howard said how about The Rock being the number one box office guy. He said he used to do their show but he got too big and stopped coming in. Robin said this is a spin off of the Fast and Furious series. Howard said he can't get through any of those. Robin said she will watch this one. Robin went through some of the other movies in the top 5 at the box office.
Robin asked who the best Spider-Man is. Howard said he liked Tobey Maguire. He said he's trying to think of who else was in them. Robin said Andrew Garfield. Howard said he was good too. He said he's picking Tobey as the best. Robin said she thinks Tom Holland is the best. She said he's the current one. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how exciting it is to be there on radio this morning. He said he has the power of the microphone to influence you. He said he's an influencer. He said all of them are except for Fred who influences no one.
Howard asked Fred how his vacation was. Fred said it was wonderful. Howard asked what he did. Fred said he worked out. He said some days he worked out twice a day. He said he'd do a half hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening. He said he uses a rowing machine. He said he sets it at halfway. He said he goes between 24-36 strokes per minute. Howard said he must have built up to that. Fred said he did. He said he's pretty good at it now. Howard asked if Robin can picture that mental patient rowing on there. Robin said she can. Howard said he pictures him sailing out the window rowing so hard.
Howard asked what he does in the second half hour. Fred said it's on a treadmill or on his mountain bike. He said he can only do so much. He said he can't do a full hour.
Howard asked what else Fred is up to. Fred said he got a GoPro camera that he's messing around with. He said the chances are he'll bring in some video for the show. He said he's going to Africa soon and he may bring some video back from that. Fred said he's going to Capetown and to a park where they have animals that were rescued.
Howard said he did the Peloton yesterday. He said he's enjoying that. He said he's on a 6 week beginner course. He said he had a very attractive woman as a teacher. He said her outfit was very sheer. He said he could swear he saw vagine. He said he thinks she was stretching and there was a darkening in that area. He said that indicated bush. He said her body was so fit. He said she wore a top that just covered her titties. He said she had thin pants on and her abs were out. He said she was very attractive. He said she may have been mulatto. He said she was very attractive. Robin asked why it matters what ethnicity she is. Howard said he needs to know everything about his woman.
Howard said she had them out of their saddle for quite a while. He said he was able to do it. He said she was super attractive. He said she's super good looking. He said to break the fantasy he says she must be an idiot for teaching classes. He said he doesn't need to fall in love with his Peloton teacher. He said she slipped in that she was out of shape once and she had just started law school. He said now she's seducing him. He said she does this for fun. He said she's an accomplished lawyer teaching an exercise class. He said he convinced himself that she had nothing on her mind. He said then she slips that in. He said when he hears that it's an aphrodisiac. He said that's the package. He said she had to put it out there.
Gary looked her up and found out where she went to school. Howard said he's not going to take her class anymore. He said he doesn't want to fall in love with her. Gary said her name is Robin Arzon. Gary read about where she went to school. Howard asked if she's married. Gary said she's a type 1 diabetic. Howard said he saw she had a patch on her arm. He said he knew it was something like that. Robin asked how long he was analyzing her. Gary said she is married. Howard said he knew she was diabetic. He said she had that box on her arm that measures blood sugar. Gar said she's part Cuban and part Puerto Rican. Gary said she also has a New York Times best seller called ''Shut Up and Run: How to Get Up, Lace Up, and Sweat with Swagger.'' Howard said he should have known she was part Cuban and part Puerto Rican. He said she's a practicing attorney. He asked what she's doing at Peloton.
Howard got a picture of Robin Arzon and said just look at her. Gary said they say that head instructors make up to $200,000 at Peloton. Howard wondered how she does that and works as a lawyer. Fred played the Perry Mason theme with a gavel banging. Howard said he likes that.
Howard said he noticed that these instructors are very articulate. He said they could do a better job instructing you on adjusting your resistance and stuff. He said he'd like to instruct the instructors on how to do that.
Howard said what they do is tell you to set your resistance to a certain number and then go. He said then they say ''that was good'' before you even know when to start. He said he misses all of this stuff. He said he has to instruct them on how to do this. He said it is a good service and he is very much into it. He said he's sweating for the first time in a year or two. He said at least he has something he can do aerobically. He said he's down in weight already. He said he's hitting the gym too. He said his body is decaying as he gets older. Robins said it's not decaying. Howard said he didn't know this instructor had a law degree.
Howard said Gary was no help with doing stuff on this bike. He said he thought he was the expert but he wasn't able to answer two questions. He said he talked to Tom Peloton himself instead. Gary said they claim to have 40 million subscribers. He said it's like $40 a month. Howard said Benjy helped with the clips. He said he was more helpful than Gary. He said Gary doesn't know a thing about the bike. He said bears at the circus give him ore information than Fafa Fooey. Howard said they should have a bear teach that class.
Howard said that instructor is so hot. He said he could see right through her outfit. He said maybe it was a shadow but he needs analysis. He said Benjy gave him some instruction on how to get off the bike. He said Benjy is an expert at getting off the bike.
Howard said he's back to feeling alive again. He said he did some exercise. He said he did some other things as well as the Peloton. He said he's so out of shape. He said Robin would laugh at him if she saw him naked. He said he has little titties now. He said he has hair on his nips and it's very attractive. He said imagine cucumber tits with hair on them. He said he looks like a melted candle.
Howard said last night he was laying in bed and up at 3 in the morning. He said when he's not working he sleeps through the night. He said he gets up and writes stuff down when he's working. He said he has to quit working.
Howard said he's not going to take more classes with this Robin instructor. He said she's too hot. He said he noticed a lot of law school grads don't practice. He said they must hate it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin Arzon was held hostage in her apartment by a guy with a gun. He said someone broke into her house and he had a gun and a sword or something. He said he should have her on. Howard said that's not going to happen. He said that's over the top. The caller told Howard to look up someone else. Howard said he feels creepy enough looking at her in the class. He said he has a friend who can tell him the name of every Playboy and Penthouse pet from the past 30 years. He said he doesn't need to do this.
Gary said he's looking up the story and some guy took a bunch of people hostage. He said he had poured kerosene on her and had a lighter near her. He said he was holding her by her hair with the lighter and she was talking to the police for him. Robin said this was when she was still in college. The caller said she was like 20 at the time. Howard said the homeless guy had AIDS. Gary said he was going to die killing himself as many people as he could. Howard said she must be traumatized by that. Gary said the person he shot ran into a bar and that's where Robin was. The guy followed him into the bar.
Howard said we're all animals and we develop protections like being able to run away. He said when you can't do things then you want to work out to get in shape. Howard said when you go through trauma like that then you learn to be a super hero to get away from danger. Robin said you become Batman. Howard said she's like Batman.
The caller said Howard can become Batman. Howard said he's just trying to stay alive by doing what he's doing.
Howard said he realized that he can't change his mug by working out. He said he still looked shitty when he was in the best shape of his life. He said he's more like Alfred than Batman. Robin said that's not true. She said he is Batman. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said he was all charged up last night. He took a call from a guy who said he saw a great shot of this woman's ass out there. Howard told Gary to send him that.
Howard took another call and said her Instagram name is @RobinNYC. Robin said everyone is going after her. The caller told him to check it out. Howard said don't try to ruin his marriage. Robin read a quote from her where she said she wants to be her own super hero. Howard said that's what he was just saying.
Howard said he figured he's just going to keel over on that bike. He said the whole thing will tip over on him.
Howard said Rick Rubin did the soundtrack for Private Parts and he's a very famous music producer. He said he was into rap for a while with The Beastie Boys. He said there's a show called Shangri La about Rick. He said he used to be a fat vegan and then went on the Keto diet or whatever and lost weight. He said he has this long beard like a Letterman beard.
Howard said the show is about how Rick produces songs. He said he has a studio called Shangri La. He said he seems to want to be a guru or something. He said he kind of does the Maharishi kind of stuff. He said he's into Transcendental Meditation and all of that. He said he thinks he's going for a vibe there.
Howard said Rick has that beard and he was wondering what that's all about. He said maybe he hates his face. He asked what else it could be. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard said he thinks Rick is going for some vibe.
Howard said this show is good. He said it shows how cool it is the way he produces these albums. He said Rick is a genius. He said he got kind of pissed off about it though. He said he wondered how he produced a studio like that in Malibu and got around the zoning. Howard said he bought a house in Florida and wanted to do shows from there. He said he was planning out his radio studio and he had it all worked out. He said that would keep him in the radio game a little longer. He said he was in the planning of this thing and the contractor told him that they can't do it. He said in that section of Florida they have a zoning law that says you can't have a business there. He said rush Limbaugh had a studio in his house and they shut him down. He said he was in the same area.
Howard said he asked the contractor about that. He said that he didn't understand that. He said he's not renting it out to someone else. He said he was just working in his own house. He said he wanted to work from home and chill. He said then he found out that there's a guy in town who has a studio that they want people to rent out. Howard said he hired a lawyer and found out it's true. He said he was told to just build it. He said he didn't want to do that.
Howard said Malibu must be different. He said that he's not sure why the laws aren't the same all over. Robin said it's a state law so they go state by state. Howard said that dream was shut down for him. He said he realized you can't do a radio show from Florida and have half the team in New York. He said he's stuck there. Robin said he could start living there. Howard said he's a nowhere man. He said he lives in a nowhere land.
Howard said Rick has the whole setup in his house. He said Rick is always laying down and he's always touching his feet with his hands. He said it's hard to watch. He said he should get some shoes. He said Rick says you can feel the vibrations when you don't wear shoes. He said just get a fucking pair of shoes. He said knock it off and invest in some flip flops. Howard said he loves the guy though.
Howard said he's enjoying this documentary. He said he does think Rick is trying to be the Maharishi. He said there is only one though. He said the long beard has to be an insecurity thing. He said he could do the same thing with his beard. Howard said women don't want to kiss you when you have that. Robin said he may have removed all shaving devices from his house. Howard said he doesn't have any clocks in his house. He said he's almost Amish. He said he should go record there. He said there's nothing to do but make music there.
Howard said there was a guy there playing guitar and making up lyrics and Rick was there touching his feet and stroking his beard. Robin said she has to check this out.
The caller said that they don't get motivated unless they're working out together. Howard said he doesn't think the Peloton is going to help.
Howard said he can tell when he annoys Beth. He said he wishes she would just tell him. He said she'll ask him a question and then she'll roll her eyes. He said the other day he told her about something Pat told him they could do together and she wanted no part of it. Robin said she's not sure what happened when they were working out. Howard said he doesn't either.
Howard said Beth forgets to eat meals. He said he never forgets. He said the other day he had breakfast at 6:30 in the morning. He said at 8:30 he was eating lunch. He said he was afraid he'd miss it. He said the other reason she's in great shape is because she's constantly up with the cats. He said she does so much with them. He said she's constantly in movement. He said he's constantly sitting if he's not on the exercise bike. He said they say that's the worst thing to do is be sedentary and then work out for half an hour. He said that's what he does though.
Howard said he tried to stand when he paints but that didn't work. He said he tried that and he had to sit. He said his body rejected it. He asked what he's going to do. He said he'll try the Peloton again today. He said this week he has to do it four times. He said one day he'll have to do it two days in a row. He said he had to rest on Sunday. He said he did it on Monday. He said he can't do it Wednesday. He said he'll do it Tuesday and Saturday.
Howard said Fred is working out two times a day. Fred said not all the time. Howard said Richard is getting fat. He said he stopped working out. He said Richard said they won't get baby sitters so he stopped running. He said then he moved his wife out to the suburbs and his wife can't drive. He said they're stuck in the house. Howard asked how she's going to get the kid to the doctor. Robin asked how she doesn't have a driver's license. Howard said a lot of people don't. Howard said Richard can't run anymore.
Howard said look at the belly on Richard. Richard said he has a dad bod. He said his wife's mom watches their son. He said they live in a town where his wife can walk to a lot of stuff.
Howard said when he was young he had to move out of the house to get away from everyone. Richard said he doesn't get home until 5:30 and he's exhausted by then. He said he's trying to run on the weekends now. He said he's working on it. Howard said he's doing great.
Howard said Richard ate under cooked chicken recently. He said he cooked it on the grill and didn't finish cooking it because he ran out of propane. Richard said he tried to kill the germs in the microwave. Robin said that doesn't work. Richard said Steve Nowicki was going to puke watching him eat it.
Howard said he heard Richard won't bring his son into Manhattan until he's in his teens. Richard said it's dangerous there. Robin said it's sad that people want to teach their children fear. Howard said his parents would take him into Manhattan and his mother would tell him he had nothing to be afraid of. He said she was beating up a taxi driver within 5 minutes. Howard let Richard go after that. He said the Bagel Boss guy is coming in today.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Rick Rubin did not build Shangri La. He said he bought it. He said Rick's house burned down in the Malibu fires. Howard said he saw all of that in the documentary. He said he's just not sure why some people can have a business in their house and some can't. Howard said Rick is a smart guy. He said he never got married. He said he always had girlfriends. Howard said he had some Russian girlfriend back in the day. He said he doesn't know what happened to her. He said he had a dog that shit in his house all the time too. He said the dog had human hair that people weren't allergic to but the dog would shit in the house. He said he stepped in it once.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to compare his girlfriend's workout outfits to Beth's. The guy said she wears really hot stuff and he doesn't want her going out wearing that. Howard said he used to tell Beth she looked too cute. He said people would go berserk. He said he's so attracted to her that he was trying to get her to dress down. He said he wears a disguise and people see him and people wonder how he's with her. He said he becomes very uncomfortable.
The caller said he gets uptight about it. Howard said just enjoy that he's with a hot chick. The caller said he can't tell her to dress down. Howard said this guy sounds like a slob. The caller said he's 50 and he's good looking but he has a bit of a gut. He said he treats her right though. He said she's 35. Howard let him go and went to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what the deal is with the negativity. He said the whole thing with the Letterman beard being grown to cover up his face. Howard tried to talk to the guy but his phone was echoing. Howard said he wasn't being negative. He said growing a beard like that means you don't want to be in society. He said it shows your weakness which is vulnerability. Howard said he'd grow a beard like that but it would show people that he has an insecurity. He said he can grow a beard but women hate it. He said no one is attracted to you when you have a beard like that. Howard said Rob Zombie has a beard but he has that look.
Howard said there were two shootings over the weekend and both Joe Biden and Donald Trump weren't able to remember where they happened. He said both of them should have known where they were. He said Trump was reading a Teleprompter and he didn't get it right. He said the person who was coherent was Obama. Robin said Bill Clinton was good too.
Howard played a clip of Trump fucking it up by saying Toledo. He said he's not sure how that happens. He said if someone wrote that for him then they should be fired. Howard said you have to know where a mass shooting occurred. Robin said he also said he hopes god protects them. Howard said god did not protect them.
Howard said there was a story about The Rock, Jason Statham and Vin Diesel all have it in their contracts that they can't be beaten in a fight in a movie. Robin said that's ridiculous. Howard said they also stipulate how many times they can be punched in their movies. Howard asked ''what the fuck?'' He said he might ban professional wrestlers from being actors.
Howard said he didn't know Robin had two phones still. Robin said he texts her on one and calls on another. Howard said he didn't know that. He asked how she left them both at work. Robin said she brought them both into the studio with her. She said she doesn't usually do that. Howard asked why not keep one in her bag. Robin said that's what she said to herself.
Howard asked why she had them out. Robin said she had them out to look for something. Howard asked why she has two. Robin said she used to travel internationally more and one was good for calling home. Howard said she's addicted to her phone. Robin said she's not at all.
Howard said she has two phones and it created chaos there. Robin said they were trying to call Ronnie because he was there. She said he could have grabbed them and put them in a safe place. She said Howard was napping in his office. Howard said he was back there working. He said Ronnie was blocking the door to make sure no one was making noise. Howard said he heard Jason got involved. He said he heard it was crazy there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he got into radio thanks to Howard. He said he's on his way to work now. Howard said he doesn't sound all that articulate. The guy said he's an intern right now. He said this is crazy for him so he might not sound that great. He did his WNBC impression for Howard. Howard said he has to enunciate. Howard asked if Robin wants to hear him hit the post. He said he wants to hear his style.
Howard said this is Luke. He asked Fred to play something for him to talk up. Luke talked up a cover of Landslide. He missed the post by a few seconds. Howard said he fails. Robin said he made the mistake of saying ''Hey everybody.'' Howard said you're talking to one person, the person listening. Howard said he was supposed to hit the post but the post hit you.
Howard asked if he knows how to work the board. Luke said he does somewhat. Howard said he tells people when they come in there that they should have full control. Howard told Luke he should become an accountant instead. Robin said become a Peloton instructor. Howard said no one was worse than him when he stated. He said before you know it you'll be making $200 a week.
Gary said that Ronnie wants to come in and tell his side of the story about Robin's phones. Howard had him come in. Ronnie said that he did pick up and Robin yelled at him. He said that he did tell her who to call. He said he's not sure how she says that she didn't talk to him. Robin said she did say that they called him and he eventually picked up. Ronnie said she forgets her shit all the time. Robin said she didn't tell him to go fuck himself either. She said go screw ourself.
Howard said Robin forgets a lot of stuff. Ronnie said she's totally fogged out. Howard asked why she always forgets her stuff. Robin said she has it with her and she'll leave it in the bathroom sometimes. Howard said he blames the Ayahuasca she took years ago. Robin said she likes how Ronnie had to come rebut. Howard said he was disparaged. He said he's glad he cleared that up. He said it was great radio.
Howard said this happens all the time these days. He said his buddy is an air Marshall and you have to be a crack shot when you're flying. He said airports are just as bad as airplanes. He said this video was a woman going nuts on a Jet Blue employee. He said this woman was pretty hot from what he could tell. He played a clip of the woman screaming at this guy and calling him a rapist and other things.
Howard said this phenomenon is continuing. He said this girl was webcamming on Facebook Live and this guy keeps hitting the laughing face Emoji and this girl freaks out over it. Howard played a clip of the woman screaming at him for hitting the laughing face Emoji.
Howard said the guy is so funny because he tells his buddy he's putting the Emoji up again. The woman was freaking out asking how she can block this guy. She was screaming about blocking him. Howard said it was Emoji rage. He said she was like Kinison but not funny.
Howard said this woman went crazy on someone who was speeding in a residential area. Howard played a clip of the woman going off on this guy for speeding. She kept yelling about the speed limit being 25 there. She told them to fuck off a bunch of times. Howard said he should mention that she's going to be the next Bachelorette.
Howard said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. He said he never got that passionate about anything. Robin said she was walking her dog when this happened. Howard said she should be locked in her house.
Howard said a lot of these viral freak outs are people yelling the N-word too. Robin said it's white people just screaming at black people for just being there. Howard said this white woman yelled at some black women for being too loud in a restaurant. Howard played that clip and these women were talking when the white woman came over to complain about them being too loud. Then she used the N-word and had them getting upset about that.
Howard said WRAL news caught up with that woman and asked if she was sorry for that. She said she was not. Howard played the clip of her interview. She didn't feel sorry for using the N-word. She felt that they forced her into it.
Howard said Chris Morgan the Bagel Boss Guy is there. He said that he's going to be boxing Shuli in a celebrity boxing match. Howard said this guy went viral about a month ago when he started screaming at people in a Bagel Boss restaurant. Howard played the audio of Chris going off on some people and asking some big guys if they wanted to step outside. One guy took him down.
Howard said Chris said he's 5 foot tall but then says he's 4'11'' so he's not sure what his actual height is. Howard said this guy told TMZ that he has used the N-word and he doesn't know what misogynistic means. He played a clip of Chris talking to them about all of that.
Howard played another clip of Chris calling himself a modern day prophet. Howard said he brought his message in at a heightened level. Robin said she's not sure that's what he did.
Howard said Chris has a YouTube channel where he posts videos like that. Howard played a compilation of some of those clips.
Howard said they got curious about this guy when they found out Shuli might be boxing him. He said he has a short temper for sure.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is a no win for Shuli. He said it's going to be great if he wins or loses. Howard said a lot of people are weighing in about the fight. He said that some people think Shuli will lose. Robin said Shuli never struck her as someone who could win a fight.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she thinks Shuli can win. She was getting all worked up and telling him to go train with someone she knows. Howard let her go and did a live commercial read before going to break.
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Howard came back and said he was going to come back but he loves this song so much he has to listen to it. He let the song play a bit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he should tell Shuli to be careful. He said the only guys who have ever beaten him up are the short guys. Howard said Gary said his money was on the Bagel Boss guy. He said Gary saw him today and he said that he might be wrong. Howard said the guy did get his ass beat in the store.
Howard said he has the guys coming in. He said it's Bagel Boss and his manager and boxing promoter in with him. He said now he has two people in his entourage. Howard asked if Chris is calling himself Bagel Boss Guy or have they shut that down. Chris said it's a combination of both. Howard said they have Damon Feldman and Anthony Cross there too.
Howard asked Chris about how tall his parents were. Chris said that he wants them to have their peace but they are kind of short. He said his dad is 5'6'' and his mom and sister are short like he is. Howard asked where he got the idea to start video taping himself. Chris said that it had been going on for years and he wanted to have proof if they went after him. He said that the viral video was someone else recording it. Howard said now he's internationally famous.
Howard asked if Bagel Boss has told him to stop using the name. Chris said they called him and wanted to do a deal but he never got back to them. Howard asked if he had friends growing up. Chris said he had girlfriends growing up. He said some were better looking than others. Howard asked if he's 4'11'' or 5 feet. Chris said his license says 5 feet. He said that's what he goes by. He said that people want to hear 4'11'' so that's what he says.
Howard said women don't treat him well. Chris said that he had purchased a van for his cleaning company and he had to get it inspected. He said the mechanic showed him the damage to the van and it's just people treating him like crap. He said he got screwed out of a cleaning account that was a $900 a week account. He said that they screwed the guy before him too. He said they did the same thing with him.
Howard said Chris is saying that he has grievances with the world. He asked if people just think they can take advantage of him. Chris said that's what he thinks. He said he gets very paranoid about things. He said it's been that way his whole life.
Howard said he says that women fake liking him. Chris said there are women who are broke and they fake it to get things out of you. He said that he has friends who have the same problem and they're not short guys. He said women will use you. He said that he has family and friends who have been lied to just like he has.
Howard asked if Chris trusts any women like his mother. He said he trusts his mother. He said they aren't getting along right now because of this stuff. He said that they aren't talking right now. He said his mother wanted him to get rid of a bird he had and he didn't want to do that. He said he went and lived in his van. He said his parents are taking care of he bird right now though.
Howard said all of this anger toward women must come from his relationship with his parents. Chris said not at all. He said they've had issues but they've been great overall.
Howard said he was married at one point. Chris said he was but that didn't work out. He said he wasn't in therapy at the time. He said there were a lot of reasons it didn't work out. He said it just broke down.
Howard asked Chris if he has to shop for clothes in the children's section. Chris said he gets some stuff that are women's clothes. He said you can't tell though. He said that he doesn't shop in children's clothes but he will shop in women's. Howard said everything is a drag.
Chris said he saw Howard's movie and loved it. He said he loved the scene where his father yelled at him. He did an impression of that and said that he really hit him with the Hein there.
Howard asked when he had a girlfriend last. Chris said he had one in April for a short time. He said once in a while he will get a prostitute. He said that they were all nice to him. Howard asked if he has a big cock or anything. Chris said it's average.
Howard said a lot of these women must be really tall next to him. Chris said he has had some that were tall. He said that his ex-wife was just a few inches taller. He said the woman in April was a nut job. He said you have to put up with that to get laid sometimes.
Howard said he's able to control his anger and rage. He said Chris can't seem to do it. He said he's not sure what set him off in this viral video. Chris said some things happened earlier that set him off. He said that he had lost this $900 account and he went to the Bagel Boss store to get his usual. He said that the woman didn't get his order and she started smirking at him. He said he was like ''grow up'' when he saw that. He said then she walks over to the grill and she flips the eggs and she looks at him and makes this face. He said that's when he looks at her and calls her out on it. He said it's this smirking thing that he gets. He said he started out nicely and asked why she can't just cook his breakfast. He said she acts like she has no idea what he's talking about. He said one thing led to another and some strangers get in his business. He said he's had that his whole life too. He said he just blew his top. He said he'd had enough.
Howard said some guy tried to intervene and the guy was twice his size. Howard asked if he has ever tried platform shoes. Chris said he has and that raises him up like 3 inches. He said that people need to wake the fuck up. He said it's fucking retarded.
Howard asked if he has tried to talk to people about this stuff. Chris said he has told women that they're judging him on his height and he'll call them out on their small tits.
Chris said he went out recently and he was driving to the date. He said this girl was shorter than him. He said that she wasn't happy with that. He said she thought that he was going to be taller. He said he commented on her small tits because of that. He said that he still took her out after that. He said he was trying to be a gentleman. He said he didn't get any action after that. He said he didn't want it. Howard asked if he meets women on dating apps. Chris said he does. He said sometimes he doesn't tell them how tall he is.
Chris said that so many women are so shallow. Howard said it's funny that they'd get in the car and tell you how short it is. Chris said he hates being so short. He said he fucking hates it. Howard said he's not a dwarf or anything. Chris said no. He said he saw a clip of Andre the Giant and he was walking through the airport in Japan and everyone was shorter than him. He said he wishes he was born there. He said there are some really short people in Mexico too. Howard said maybe she should go to Japan.
Howard asked if he feels god has cursed him. Chris said he was angry with God for a while but then he got blessed with this. He said he made his peace with him. He said he would like a few more inches. Howard said there's a leg lengthening thing you can do. Chris said he's not going to do that. He said you have to sit in a wheelchair for a year. He said he's just done with this shit. He said it's like fuck you. He said that's what he's go to say. Howard said get the anger out. Chris said if you keep poking a lion in the zoo they're going to fight back.
Howard asked how he hooked up with this guy Anthony. He asked Anthony about how he got into this. Anthony said he has some people who are upcoming that Howard wouldn't know. He said he gets people booked all over the place. He said he books Chris on podcasts and things. Howard said he read in his notes that he got him some jobs. Anthony said he got him a job doing some charity events.
Howard asked Chris if he has ever dated anyone who is a dwarf. Chris said he hasn't but he's not saying he wouldn't. Chris said when he's around a girl who is 5'5'' he feels more comfortable. He said it's weird. He said maybe they're close.
Howard asked Anthony if he booked him in a dunk tank. Anthony said he did. Chris said that was fun actually. Howard asked if he's making money from being the Bagel Boss guy. Anthony said he's doing well.
Howard asked Damon about how he got involved. Damon said they hooked him up with Anthony and told him that he should get involved with this Bagel Boss guy.
Howard asked Chris if he's afraid he's going to get his ass beat. Chris said not at all. Howard said he's not sure he could beat up Shuli. He said neither one of them are in shape. Chris said that he used to squat and dead lift 250 pounds. He said he used to work out at a gym that Amy Fisher went to.
Howard said Damon has been involved in many fights with Tonya Harding, Danny Bonnaduce, Joey Buttafuoco, Amy Fisher, Tila Tequila and others. Damon said he's a former fighter. He said they did a lot of those fights on Howard's show. He said he was undefeated at 9-0 when he was fighting. He said he's making a movie about his life and career now. He said it's called The 16 Minute Man. Damon said Howard is actually in the movie. Howard said he can leave him out of that.
Howard asked who Chris is going to be fighting. Damon said they're going to have him fight this guy but he saw Shuli recently and said he thinks he should fight him.
Howard asked if Chris thinks he can beat Shuli. Chris said that he thinks he can. Howard said Shuli turned down the fight at first. Shuli said he did. Howard said they know this would be a big fight. Howard said Chris is at the top of his fame. Damon has the contracts with him. Shuli asked how much he will owe him after the fight.
Howard said he's not going to force Shuli into this. Chris said he should. He said be a man and just do it. Howard asked if Shuli is his choice because he's desperate. Chris said he's the perfect victim. Damon said he has offers from other celebrities but he won't say names. He mentioned Logan Paul though. Howard asked who he is. Damon said he's a viral star but he's much bigger.
Shuli said he wants to fight the people who made Chris a star. He said he thinks his 15 inches of fame are over. He said if he beats him up he's a jerk off and if he loses he's a jerk off.
Chris went off on Shuli like the Iron Sheik. Howard said that was pretty good. Chris said he knows.
Howard had the guys go back to back to compare heights. Howard said he wants to see the difference. Robin said it's not that big of a difference. Damon said it's not that far off.
Howard asked if Shuli could beat him up. Shuli said of course he could. Howard said in some strange way he thinks that if he did want to do it he'd be fascinated to watch it. Shuli said he knows he'd win. He said he's seen his training video and he's catching a football in it. Damon said it's just 3 one minute rounds. Shuli said no one wants to see them fight. He said it'll be more interesting to see Chris fight to get paid after the fight.
Howard asked how much Shuli wanted. Damon said he was saying $5,000 for the fight. Shuli said he can get that for telling jokes for an hour. He said he was looking for more. Chris said he should be a man.
Damon said that he'll give him more if they meet their numbers. He said that he can give him that plus the 5 grand. He said he loves Shuli. He said this is a great opportunity. Shuli said he's not fighting for attention that bad.
Robin asked where this is going to happen. Damon said they can do it on FightTV. He said that it'll be an internet pay per view.
Damon said they worked out this contract and it's all set. Howard said he doesn't have to do the hard sell. Shuli said if he wants him to go down to this level he's going to make some money. He said he's a comic and not a viral guy. Howard asked who the ref is going to be. Damon said they got Bam Margera. Howard said he thought he was in rehab. Damon said they'll get him after he's done with rehab.
Howard said they have to calm down and stop talking over one another. Howard took a call from a guy who said Shuli has to beat this little guy up. Chris cursed him out. Howard asked if he has had to kick anyone's ass in real life. Chris said he has and sometimes he wins and sometimes he doesn't.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that the anger is what's going to win this fight. She said she's his height and she knows. She said she is angry about other things but she's that height. Howard asked how she looks. The caller said she's married.
Howard took a call from Pocket who asked if Chris is getting laid at all. Chris said he's getting some interest. He said that some women just want to ride the wave.
Howard asked if Shuli is backing out of this. Shuli said that number that he asked for is it. He said it's 30 grand. Damon said he can't do that. He said he can only give him a back end guarantee. Shuli said he can't do that. He said he doesn't know where that money is going to come from. He said he'd have to be paid up front. Damon said he would be paid up front. Howard asked if he doesn't trust him. Shuli said he knows people who have worked with him and he's not sure he can trust him to get paid. Damon said he is willing to pay him up front.
Chris and Shuli started shit talking each other. Damon said they have to do this fight. Howard said he wants to see Chris throw some punches. Chris got up and did some blocking and then threw some punches. Howard said he was impressed. Damon said he loves Shuli and he has to do this. Shuli got up and threw some punches too. Robin said he's going to get beaten up. Chris said he looks like a drowning fish. Howard said Shuli is just goofing. He said that's not boxing.
Howard said he's not sure if this is going to happen. He took a call from Balls who said he wanted to tell Chris to get his life straight and stop being a sensitive pussy. He said just worry about his life. He said Shuli will hit him so hard his kids will be dizzy.
Damon said he'll give Shuli a guaranteed 10 grand and work with the back end through Howard Stern. Howard said he's not involved. Damon said he has a lot of interest in this. Damon said he can't do more than 10 grand. Shuli said he thinks he'd be better off with another offer. He said he can't do that. Chris told him to just step up and do it. Shuli said he has to make some money if he's doing this. He said he doesn't think it's going to happen. Damon said he has the contracts right there. Shuli said it's not going to happen. Chris told him to just sign the fucking thing.
Shuli said he had his weed dealer ask him the other day if he's going to fight the hot dog guy. He said that's how over it is for this guy. Damon said they have other people appearing in this fight. He said they can't name them yet.
Gary said that Memet said he would do the fight for 10 grand. Howard had Memet come in. Shuli said he's a pretty boy so Chris would love him. Chris said he's too fucking big for him. He said he's too stocky. He said that this guy will kill him. Anthony said he thinks he can take him. Howard said what a manager.
Howard said that fight is over. He asked if Ronnie wants to fight him. He said how about Benjy. He said no one else is coming in to do it. Howard said Benjy wants to tickle Chris. Chris said he's not into that. Benjy came in and asked if he wants to be tickled right now. Chris said put a wig on first and maybe he'll do it.
Chris said he wants someone close to his height to fight. Shuli said he has a 7 year old daughter about his height. Chris said listen 4 eyes... Shuli told him to take it down a notch.
Howard said he's thinking that he could fight JD. He said JD is a little taller than him. JD said he's not getting involved with him. Chris told him to get in the ring. He asked if he's scared. JD said he actually is.
Benjy asked if Howard would be scared of getting hurt. Howard said of course he would. He said he gets hurt walking. Damon said he and Shuli have to talk. Howard said he'll handle this. He asked Shuli if there's any way he would fight him for 10 grand plus the back end. Shuli said no fucking way. Damon said that it could end up being 100 grand. Shuli said there is no way that's going to happen. Damon said that Howard needs a new boxing match. He said this is going to be great. Shuli said he's not interested.
Shuli said he'll do it for $30,000 up front. Damon raised it to $20,000. Benjy said he'll snap that up. Damon said either one of them. He said he thinks that Shuli would be the best match u. He said it would be September 7th at the Showboat in Atlantic City. He said that they're going to find someone for Bagel Boss to fight. He said he has to announce the opponent in the next 5 days. Howard said he's trying to help him out here.
Howard said he wants to solve one problem at a time. He said they have 50 problems here. He said he's not sure what's going on. Damon said he has to get someone to fight him. Howard said he's promoting a fight that they don't have lined up. Howard said he's trying to get Shuli to do it but he's not going to do it for that money.
Howard said there is $20,000 on the table right now. He said he would watch this fight with Shuli and Chris. He said he sees Chris over there and he knows Shuli. He said seeing him lose would be hysterical. He said if he wins, great.
Shuli said if he does this he wants the 20 grand up front. Howard asked Damon if he can do that. Damon said he can get it up front. Damon said he has a partner who can get him the money. Howard said go back to his partners and discuss the finances. He said they want a fight. Damon said they have to announce it this week. Shuli said that he will sign this week if he gets the money.
Howard said Chris Wilding is wiling to box him too. He said that he's of short stature too. Howard had Chris come in. Chris said he'll knock him out for free if he wants to use the F-word for gay people. Chris said that this is an actual gay person in his face. Chris Morgan said he has gay people in his family. He said he says things irrational when he's angry. Chris and Chris went at each other throwing insults at each other. Morgan told Wilding that the 1980s called and want their hair cut back. Wilding asked if he shaves his balls like he shaves his head. He asked to see how big it is. Morgan said he's not going to do that. Morgan said he says things when he's angry. He said he's sorry for doing that.
Wilding said that Morgan has to get over the problems he's had in his life and stop using the F-word for gay people. The two of them were arguing with each other and yelling at each other. They were yelling over each other so it was hard to hear what they were saying.
Howard said he's thinking there's a fight there. Damon asked what he should do. Shuli said he's voting for Wilding. Howard said it would be Chris vs. Chris. Damon said how about they let it sink in today. He said they can talk. Howard asked Anthony what he thinks. Anthony said this would be interesting too. Damon said that they can get in touch with him on social media and let him know who they should have fight. Morgan said that he says things in anger and he has nothing against gay men. He said as long as they don't hit on him he's fine. He said he'll fight this guy Wilding though. Damon asked if he would do a match. Wilding said he's a nobody and this is beneath him. He said he's a nobody and this guy is beneath him.
Howard said it sounds like there is no fight here. Morgan told Wilding to step up. Howard said it sounds like no one wants to fight. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet and said if he beats him he can peg him in the ass.
Howard said Shuli is not taking the fight and Chris Wilding isn't taking it. He gave Damon some plugs for this fight and said you can get tickets at WebTix.net. Howard asked Damon who is playing him in the movie. Damon said they're talking to Frank Stallone about playing his father in the movie. He said the script is written and they're looking for people to come on board. Howard said he's not sure what to do with this information. Howard wrapped up and thanked Chris Morgan for coming in. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said that was quite a segment. Robin said it ended up in nothing. Howard said he heard that Shuli was telling him if he gets him the 20 grand up front he's got a fight. Howard said that's what someone overheard. Robin said he didn't say that in there.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he thinks Shuli is a big pussy. Howard said getting in the ring takes balls. He said it's very hard physically. He said it's not that easy. Jeff said he should do it for the show. Howard said it has nothing to do with the show. He said he's not going to make him do it.
Howard asked if it's true that Shuli is working on it. Shuli said Damon did call him back there to talk about it. He said he did tell him that if he gets the money he'll sign the contract. He said he has to have the money up front. Howard asked if he thinks he can beat him. Shuli said 100 percent. Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said he thinks Shuli has a shot. He said as long as the referee is doing his job it'll be fine. Howard said Bam will be great. Shuli said he saw Bam asking Dr. Phil for help a couple of days ago.
Fred said he used to train and you feel like death after a few minutes. Howard said people want to talk about this. Shuli said he didn't think anyone would give a shit about it. Howard said he'd watch. Shuli said he'd destroy that little fucker.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his man came out swinging. He said he thought for sure there was going to be a brawl in the studio. He said he was ready to grab some popcorn. Howard said he thought the two Chris' were going to come to blows. The caller told Howard how much the show means to him before Howard let him go.
Howard said when they were on K-Rock they were on in 1 out of every 4 cars during rush hour. He said you could look around and other people were listening. Shuli said Howard saved a man's life thanks to all of those people. Howard told him to calm down over there.
Howard asked if Shuli is going to train at all. Shuli said a little bit. Robin said people have no idea how hard it is to hold your arms up and throw punches. Shuli said Brent wants to train him even though he got knocked out in 12 seconds.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Shuli used to be one of his favorites but he's coming across as the biggest dick head in the world. He asked why he's attacking the promoter and Chris. Shuli said he's just doing radio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought Chris Wilding coming in there was amazing. Howard said those guys need a fight. Shuli said he loved when Chris asked to see Bagel Boss guy's balls. Howard said he has had to fight when he was young and he got his ass kicked. He said he never did well. He said he loves seeing other people fight though. He said he wishes he had studied kung fu or mixed martial arts. He said he loves it. He wondered if Wilding could beat that guy up. Shuli said he thinks he could. He said he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who has ever been in a fight.
Howard asked if Chris could beat the guy up. Wilding came in and said he could. He said he's just 4'11'' tall. Howard said Mike Tyson was a short guy too. Chris said he's been in some fights in his life. He said he's held his own. He said he's not looking to fight anyone but when someone talks shit someone is going to take a swipe at you. He said he has been smacked in the head by a guy. Shuli asked if made the guy cum. Chris said that guy made him cum.
Howard asked if Shuli should fight this guy. Chris said if the money is real then do it and kick that guy's ass. Shuli said this is his work wife over here. Robin said this was some day.
Howard took a call from a woman, Lorraine, who said she called to see how old Chris the bagel guy was. Shuli said he's in his mid 40s. The caller said she's 59 and she's 5'2'' and she was hoping to meet him. She said her son was a contributor to the event he had in November. Howard asked if she's attracted to Chris. The caller said it depends on how he is when he's not showing off. She said she's in Philadelphia. Howard said he'll put her on hold and see if they can make a love connection. Shuli asked who she looks like. She said she could say she looks like Marilyn Monroe but that's not true. She said she's been told she looks like Annette Benning. Howard said he'll pass that along to Chris.
Howard said no one was sexier than Annette in that movie The Grifters. He said he's sure that guy would love to bang Annette Benning. Howard said he'll pass her name along. Lorraine said she was at the charity event that Howard had in November. She said that she had a conversation with Gary there. She said she can ask Gary about that. Howard said he'll pass that information along. He said he had to get her off the phone. He said he can only imagine the conversation she had with Gary.
Howard said they'll find out what goes on from Shuli with the fight. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard said he's exhausted from the show today. He said there's a lot going on there. Robin said they had a lot with the Bagel Boss guy, Shuli and Chris Wilding.
Howard said he was working hard yesterday. He said he must have passed out for an hour after the show.
Howard said they heard from the penis injury guy yesterday and they got some feedback about that. He read through some of that feedback. Howard had some feedback from people who have similar situations with their penises.
Howard had some feedback about Brent's sex tape that they played on the show yesterday. Howard said Brent had the microphone near his air conditioner so it was hard to hear. Howard said someone wants to be there to record them in their house. He said they also found out that Brent has trouble climaxing so people had some feedback about that. Howard read through some of that.
Howard said there was a part of that sex tape where Katelyn had to take out her tampon before fucking Brent. Robin said she found that odd. Howard said this is the part of the tape where that happened. Howard played a clip and Katelyn asked if he wants to fuck her and Brent says yes. Then she had to go remove her tampon. The air conditioner was super loud in that clip. Robin said she wasn't able to figure out what was going on there.
Howard said someone wrote in about Benjy going to a Peloton class with Memet. Howard said someone wrote in about that. He read that feedback.
Howard said someone wrote in about how much she likes Memet's sexy voice. Howard said she asked to hear more of that. Howard said it takes all types. He said Memet is turning people on.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he's been watching the show Euphoria. Howard said he hasn't but his daughter told him he would love it. The caller said it's right up Howard's alley. Howard said his kids know him well. He said they know what he likes. Gary said it's a great show. He said it's kind of creepy at first but it gets good.
Howard said he tried watching that show Pennyworth but he had a hard time getting into it with the British accent. He said everyone has that accent. He said he doesn't like that unless it's the Beatles or Stones. Howard said he has to get into that Euphoria. He said he knows he has HBO or Showtime but he's not sure how to get to it. He said he'll check it out.
Robin started her news with a story about Bam Margera who was making a plea to Dr. Phil the other day. Howard said he hasn't seen him in years. Howard played a clip of Bam talking about how he has disowned his mom and he can't stand Nikki. Bam said he has an 18 month old son and he's not going to play the game with Nikki. Howard said he had a feeling he didn't love his mom when he snuck an alligator into her house. Howard said he might be having a meltdown. Robin said he might be in rehab again after that Dr. Phil meeting. Howard said he was on Celebrity Rehab. He said he thought he was okay after that.
Robin read a story about a basketball player who had to be tested for drugs with a urine test and he had his girlfriend give the urine so they found out he was pregnant. Robin said that it backfired on him when that was discovered. Robin said he was trying to join the Bosnian team in late 2018. Robin said he was suspended on the spot for fraud.
Robin read a story about Victoria's Secret featuring their first transsexual model. Howard said he likes that. He said it's interesting to him. Robin had some details about this model. Howard said he follows a lot of trans on Twitter. He said he likes to see people who can pull it off well.
Robin read a story about the Ohio governor speaking out about the mass shooting there. Robin said he's expected to talk about gun violence and mental health.
Robin said that Mitch McConnell has said he wants to get a think tank of people to come in and talk about this gun problem to try to figure out what to do.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves that song that he played on the show by Josh Radin. Howard said he likes that song too. He said Beth told him about it and he actually liked it. He said it's a moving song. He said that he's going to donate all of the profits from the song. He said he thinks you can get it on iTunes. The caller said that her dad hates animals and her son came home with a dog and her father fell in love with the dog. She said that she has never seen a person change like her father. She said he never wanted anything to do with a dog. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a web site called 8chan that has been taken down by the hosting company Cloudflare. Robin had some details about that. Howard said he had never heard of that site. He said he was thinking about it and things on the internet are out of control but imagine you have to go to a site to talk about something that's so weird that only this one site will allow it. He said you must know something is wrong with you if you have to go on that site. Howard said he has more than enough free speech. He asked what you feel you're going to be censored over. Robin said it's killing people. Howard said he's glad that site is gone.
Robin read a story about an Ohio lawmaker blaming gay marriage, drag queens and the gay lifestyle on these mass shootings. Howard said isn't that brilliant? Howard said Chris Wilding wants to box her.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Kimmel not leaving ABC. Howard said he knew that. Robin said he said at one point that the grind of doing late night was making him think about retiring. Robin said ABC met with him and made him feel appreciated. Howard said they came up with the cash. Howard said it's like Shuli feeling appreciated with the 20 grand that Damon said he'd try to get him. He said Netflix got Eddie Murphy to go back to stand up. He said anyone will get up and do stand up for $70 million. Robin said she wanted them to get whatever it takes to get Eddie out there. She said he's funny with Jerry Seinfeld on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Howard said Netflix is like a Saudi prince with all the money they have. He said they can throw money around like that to get someone to do a stand up special. He said they got Prince's family to dig up Prince to do a concert. He said they could get a Led Zeppelin reunion if they wanted to. He said he had dinner with Ted Sarandos from Netflix the other day. He said he freaked Ted out. He said he didn't want anything. He said they wanted to work with him years ago. He said he has a real friendship with Ted. He said he did tell him something he had in the hopper and he was interested in it. He said he has enough to do with the radio show though.
Robin said Jimmy is signing with ABC which will bring him to 20 seasons of his show. Howard asked how many he's done. Robin said she's not sure what the new contract is. She said it must be 3 years and he's done 17. Robin said they're going to do more live specials like that All in the Family thing. Robin said they're going to do more of those with Norman Lear. Robin said he's also in discussions to do a game show called Generation Gap. Howard said he didn't know about that. He said he should go to Netflix though.
Robin read a story about President Trump making some comments about Baltimore recently. She said that he was saying that the city is considered the worst in the United States. Robin said she was watching the news to see what they were saying about that. Robin had a clip from CNN where this guy Victor Blackwell commented on what Trump said. Victor said Trump said no human would want to live there but he did. Howard said he wishes more people would cry on TV. Robin said she's from Baltimore and she didn't get upset. She said you only get upset if someone you respect says something like that. Robin said she's not sure why this guy is crying.
Howard said he has Lenny Dykstra on the phone. He said he wants to make an announcement. Howard took the call and Lenny said it's good to be back on with the big boys. Lenny said that he just got done being taken advantage of. Howard said he's not sure wheat's going on but he thinks he just said he wants to fight the Bagel Boss guy. Lenny said he'll do it for $5. He said he has to learn about loss. He said he's short but there are people who are sick and in hospitals. He said you don't wake up at 30 and just want to take it in the ass. Howard said he's not sure what he's talking about. Lenny said Charlie Sheen was his best friend and he's gay as fuck. Howard said you don't know that.
Howard said he thinks he has a good point about Chris not appreciating things. He said he's not sure why he got into the Charlie Sheen stuff. Lenny said he'll talk about that in a minute. Howard said he can't be saying that. He said lets just leave it at this. He said Lenny is announcing that he wants to fight the Bagel Boss guy. Howard said Charlie Sheen also said he had tiger blood. He doesn't actually have that. Lenny said he was submissive. Howard said he's not sure what his beef is. Lenny made some more comments about Charlie and Howard tried to cut him off. Lenny said he'll talk about Bagel Boss guy. He said fuck that guy. Howard said lets leave it at that. Lenny said he's not that tall himself. He said he's 5'9'' and this guy has no courage. Howard said he has to move along. He said he'll let them know that he wants to fight.
Howard said he's not sure what he said but it may have been something about eating pussy. He said they're running out of time. Howard said now they have a real opponent. He said they have Lenny Dykstra. He said that Lenny can fight. He said he has a lot of fight in him. Robin said her money would be on Lenny. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he doesn't believe that Lenny has any information on Charlie Sheen's sexuality. Robin said his views don't reflect those of SiriusXM's.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin pissed him off earlier. He said normally she's the voice of reason. He said she pissed him off because she's making fun of Victor Blackwell. He said when Trump attacked Baltimore it was something that hit close to home for him. Robin said the appropriate response is that Baltimore is Trump's problem too. She said it's a reflection of what goes on in this country. Robin said if he was in charge of all people he'd be worrying about that place too. The caller said Robin was making fun of Victor. Howard said she was a little bit. Howard let the caller go after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about R. Kelly and how he had more charges brought up against him. Robin said there are two more now. She had some audio for Howard to play where they made the announcement.
Robin read a story about the Boy Scouts of America having some legal problems with boys who say they were molested. Robin said they list over 150 alleged abusers from every state. Robin said there was one mayor mentioned in the lawsuit.
Howard said he thinks he's going to take after Rachel Maddow and wear the same thing every fucking day. He said he wants to do that. Robin said they say Einstein didn't want to be bothered with that kind of thing. Howard said that's why he has Ralph. He said he wants to do what Rachel does. He said she has a nice outfit. He said she wears a black blazer with black pants. He said he likes what she wears. He said he read that Steve Jobs did the same thing. He said he'd love a turtleneck like Steve wore. He said he may go to that look with a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and black pants. Robin said Richard wears the same clothes every day. Howard said it's so liberating. He said Rachel looks good. He said he thinks he's secretly jealous.
Robin read a story about Ed Sheeran having the highest grossing tour record in history. Robin said he does it all alone too so he doesn't have to share it with anyone. Robin had Howard play the song he did with Justin Bieber.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is kind of like Rachel Maddow. He said he eats pussy and she eats pussy. Howard said he's right. Way to make a joke. He said this guy might be the next big stand up. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Elizabeth Warren polling the best after the debates last week. Robin said people liked her out of the whole group.
Robin read a story about a novelist named Toni Morrison being dead. Robin said she was beloved by Oprah Winfrey and other people. Howard said he doesn't know much about her. Robin said she was a Pulitzer prize winner. Howard said he's never heard of her. Robin had some audio of her Nobel prize speech for Howard to play. Robin explained what she was talking about and Fred played her news music over her. Howard said he was thinking about Jay Thomas today. He said he died a couple of years ago. He said he was thinking about how Jay knows if there's an afterlife or not. He said he was thinking about that during a live commercial read. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about his morning theme song that he will never change. He said he was joking around about changing it and Rob Zombie got in touch with him and asked if he was really thinking about changing it. He told Rob of course not. He said the song is timeless. He said he won't take that phone call again. Robin asked if they ever changed the Tonight Show theme. Howard said they didn't. He asked if she knows who wrote that. Robin said it was Paul Anka. Howard said that's right. Fred played that theme song. Howard talked about Johnny Carson's drinking problem and how he smoked during the breaks. Howard said Johnny will be nice to everyone on camera but not off. He said he would only let the comedians sit on the couch if they did well.
Howard said Paul Anka got paid every time that song played. He said when Larry Sanders did his parody did he have a theme song for his show. Fred said he thinks he did with a saxophone kind of song. Fred played that song for Howard. Howard said he loved that show.
Howard said Garry Shandling is dead. He said all of his heroes are dying. He said it's weird that Tom Petty is dead too. He said he smoked though. Fred said he broke his hip before going on tour and he was on massive amounts of prescription drugs and that fucked up his heart. Howard said that was never explained to him. He said that's a pretty good story. He said it makes sense to him now. Howard said the world has changed a lot. He said the guy who played Hank on the Larry Sanders show had to leave the show Transparent because he was up on some kind of #MeToo situation. He said look at how the world changes in a blink.
Howard said he doesn't know what his point was but the world is changing. Robin said the world is spinning. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he got home late last night and continued watching the documentary about Rick Rubin called Shangri La. He said he's enjoying that. He said he has to get up to his place and produce some music. He said he started be living that he could make the right music. He said it seems to inspire people when Rick is sitting there laying with his feet. He said one woman said she couldn't leave Rick's side. He said that was SZA. He said he knew he was trying to be the Maharishi. He said Rick is trying to teach her and he's no teacher. He said he thinks he was just coming on to her. He said Rick was doing the ''Ohm'' thing and that's not part of Transcendental Meditation. He said that she was doing whatever he was doing. He said that's not what Rick learned at Transcendental Meditation. Howard said if he had SZA up at his apartment he'd be growing out a beard and trying to get her into some cosmic things. He said maybe she'd blow him or not.
Howard said Rick lays on the floor playing with his feet. He said he was thinking about how he could have started out with music early on and been able to write something. He said it wouldn't surprise him if Rick ended up with some followers. He said they're all kind of convinced that Rick is kind of a Maharishi. He said he's a big believer in that guy and loved him. He said it's helping Rick and with that whole scene he might have to go visit him. Robin said Howard might get caught up in that.
Howard said he might be going to L.A. He said he might be bringing Robin with him. Robin sounded surprised by that. Howard said he might end up getting a tattoo of Rick on his face to cover up his face.
Howard said Rick talks in a low monotone. He said he's not sure Rick is really that mellow. He said it might just be around the chicks. He said he's that way around SZA.
Howard said he was out at Rick's house a couple of times years ago. He said he was single and he was in L.A. a lot. He said he'd bring some hot chicks around if he was dating someone. He said it was kind of a cool scene. He said he had some cool people in his house. He said they'd have Tom Morello and guys like that there. Robin said he met Kate Hudson there. Howard said he was convinced she wanted him. He said he thought that she was into him. He said she was like half his age though. Robin said she may have spoken to him but that doesn't mean that she liked him. Howard said they were both avoiding the dog shit laying around Rick's house. He said it was cool going there.
Howard said he remembers talking out and having to clean off his shoe. He said he didn't even know who Kate Hudson was at the time. He said her movie hadn't come out yet. Howard said he was thinking about how that would be as close to being inside Goldie Hawn as he'd ever get if he could get her. Robin said Goldie is still around.
Howard said he thinks some of that shit in Rick's house was Rick's shit. He said he went to Rick's once and everyone was just sitting around not talking. He said it turns out they were all just texting each other. He said he had to get out of there.
Howard said Rick helped put together the Private Parts soundtrack and he did a great job with that. He said he thought Kate Hudson was into him but she was just being nice. He said he figured it was like high school and she was talking to him so she must like him. Howard said he never did hear from her after that. Howard said she was out of his league. He said weeks later he heard she hooked up with the guy from the Black Crows. He said he wasn't her type.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how many times he's going to say Maharishi. Howard told him to get off the phone. He said he was telling a story about the guy. He said this guy, Tony, is a dick. He said he can't tell a story if he doesn't say that word. He asked what he's supposed to do there. Howard said he'll call him Steven instead. He said he's into Transcendental Meditation and he got to interview Steven twice. He said he didn't know there was a limit on how many times you can say that. He said sign up for Transcendental Meditation. He said it's not religion. He said it's just a technique. Robin said with everyone so angry and shooting each other they need that.
Howard said Rick had all kinds of memorabilia around his house in Malibu. He said he had religious stuff from all kinds of religions even though Rick is Jewish. Howard said he has some people in his life who have gone completely Catholic to avoid a future Hitler. He said he tells them that they don't have to go overboard. He said they send you Christmas cards and become the head of their church and stuff. He said they try to wipe out the Jew in them. He said if a new Hitler comes around they're going to look up their history and figure it out.
Howard said it doesn't matter how Catholic you are, you can't erase being Jewish. He said he's got this face and when you're slapped a yarmulke you can't avoid it.
Howard said Rick is a cool guy. He said he thinks he's going to go there to his house to record his next album. He said Rick is telling SZA about walking around without her shoes. He said that's all you have to do. He said he's thinking of growing a Rick beard. Robin said that's a real commitment. Howard said his wife would leave him if he did that.
Howard said he was worried that they'd end up with Simona Dinnerstein or someone like that talking about her piano playing. He said that or her friends who are witches. Howard said he was willing to do it for her though. Howard said it could have been Bracco the Gazer. He said he's the guy who gazes at you and heals you. Robin said she wasn't into him. She said she just went to see what that was all about.
Howard said he didn't know who she was really into. He said there have been all kinds of people she's been friendly with. He said it could have been a bunch of kooks. He said there was that Ama the Hugger. He said there was an ear magnet expert and enema friends. He said he was wondering who was going to be there. He said it could have been the UN of Kooks. He said no offense of course.
Howard said he didn't know who the 10 were going to be. He said he wanted to have some fun and relaxation so he had her invite 10. Robin said it was a manageable number. Howard said they went to Jean-Georges and that was a very nice place. Robin said it's right up there. Howard said it took some doing to get the reservation. He said he considers himself known to Jean-Georges. He said he's always telling him to come to the restaurant. He said he called up the first time to reserve a table for 10 and he gave them a couple of weeks notice. He said he was told they had nothing available that night. He said what he did was go for dinner there and he saw it was him. He said he told him what he was doing and they said it was impossible that they rejected him. He said he came back and said he was in so that's how he got the reservation.
Howard said it weirds him out when his name doesn't get him something like that. He said he has his assistant call someone and they turn him down and he thinks it can't be right. He said it's like the walk of shame. He said he had to take Beth over there and march in himself. He said once they saw him they knew there must be some mistake.
Howard said here were plenty of tables in there that night. Robin said it wasn't crowded. Howard said he had to wait a day or two for the guest list. He said Robin called up with the list and he was waiting for a Simona Dinnerstein or someone like that. He said he thought she might have her nephew who isn't really her nephew or someone like that. He said it's weird. He wondered if it was going to be friends and family or the coven way.
Howard said she did a great thing. He said she invited Gary and Mary Dell'Abate, Fred and Alison Norris, Jon Hein and Jon's wife Debbie. Howard said he was relieved when he heard the list. Howard said Jon sits next to his wife and you wonder how he got her. He said people do the same with him and Beth. Howard said Debbie is ripped and thin and Jon is overweight. He said Robin did a great thing. He said her guest list was people from work. He said that was really classy.
Robin said she thought about it a long time. She said that's what she wanted to do. Howard said he got Fred and Gary and their wives but he was shocked by Jon and his wife. Robin said he said something funny and said ''So you do like Jon Hein.'' Howard said he likes Jon. He said Jon is like a baby. He said he could tell he was bummed that they didn't have burgers and fries on the menu.
Howard asked Jon if he enjoyed it. Robin said it's the first restaurant with seats that he's gone to. Howard said the food is great there. Jon said the food was very good but it's not his typical meal. He said it didn't open him up to fine dining.
Howard asked what his first course was. Jon said he went on and studied the menu before they went. He said he didn't know if Howard was going to order. Howard said he didn't do that. Howard said the only John he knows is Papa John.
Jon told Howard what he ordered and Howard said it was a waste to have him here. Jon said he was just trying not to embarrass himself. He said they were giving them some food between courses and he tried all of that. He said that he was watching Howard and what everyone else was doing to make sure he wasn't embarrassing himself. He said he had Parmesan chicken there.
Gary came in and said that Jon seemed confused by it all. He said they had a gelatin ball and Jon broke his when he picked it up. He said everyone else was very gentle with it. Howard said he's like Herman Munster breaking stuff. Robin said they did say it was very delicate. Howard said it was a waste of money to bring Jon there.
Howard said Jon Hein Audiobook is on the phone. He asked him what he really wanted to order. The guys played Jon talking about burgers and fries and stuff like that.
Gary said there are some people out there in the office who are upset they weren't invited. Howard said he had Ralph over to dress him and he asked for a tie but he didn't pick one out. He said he fucked up the one thing he asked him to do. He said he asked him to pull a suit for him and he did that but then he forgets stuff when he gives him stuff to do.
Howard said he didn't tell Ralph what they were doing. He said he knew he'd be insulted that he wasn't invited. He said he thought Ralph would be invited over Jon Hein.
Gary said Jason stopped by the office and asked who was invited to the dinner. Gary said he pointed to Jon and Jason went ''Ewe.'' Robin asked if people are wondering ''Why Jon Hein?'' Jason said he's not upset he wasn't invited. He said someone in the office is very upset though. Jason said he didn't know Jon and Robin even knew each other. Howard said he's glad Jason wasn't invited. He said he can't afford that.
Gary said there's a guy out there who works with Robin every day with her news. Robin said that's Nick. Gary said Nick is very upset. He said he asked ''What the fuck?'' Howard said maybe he shouldn't have brought it up. Robin said she never thought this would happen. She said she didn't know they'd think they should have been there. Gary said when Ralph wakes up he's going to be very pissed.
Robin said if Ralph had been invited then people would be upset. Howard said he was thrilled with the guest list. He said he loved the crowd. Robin said Simona is in Aspen. Howard said he likes talking to everyone who was there. He said he gave Robin a limit.
Gary said he'd like to praise Howard for the gift he gave Robin. He said Howard painted her house and yard and it's very good. He said he's so good at painting. Howard said it wasn't good enough to give her. He said Beth told him it was fabulous. Howard said he could have done better. Robin said she set it up in her house and she's still marveling at the realism. Howard said he did a tiny painting that's 5x3 inches. He said it took him a long time. He said it's her back yard and home. He said it's pretty complex. Gary said his wife was telling him how hard it is to get it that good. Howard said it's painstaking to get it right. Gary said he told Mary that she should paint something for Robin and she didn't think she'd want her painting.
Howard said he has painted for Robin and his agent but not for anyone else. He said it was a labor of love for Robin. He said he wanted to give her something meaningful. He said he didn't want it to come out bad. He said he included the bench he gave her in it. Robin said she saw that. She said he had a lot to deal with in the painting. She said he had a lot of green to deal with.
Howard said he was going to give her that or a dick pic but he thinks this was the right way to go.
Howard asked Jon if he was surprised when he got the invite. Jon said he was. He said he and Robin are closer than they think there. He said he knew he had to up his game before going. He said his wife was thrilled. He said she knew that she was going to laugh at him too. Howard said he forgot that he eats like a little kid. He said he saw him looking at the menu. He said he knew he was having a problem. Jon said there were plenty of options there. He said he knew he might have to suck it up if they had a limited menu. He said he loved the pretzel bread.
Jon said the way they take care of you is so impressive. Gary said Jon was saying that it was almost embarrassing. He said they come out and explain what each person is having. He said Jon was worried that maybe no one wanted to know what he was eating.
Jason told Howard that he texted Ronnie to ask if he was upset he wasn't invited. He said he texted back that he must not be classy enough for them. Robin said the thought of Ralph did come up but she said no. Howard said thank you. He said he would have been okay if Ralph was there. Gary said they were only 9 last night. He said there was room for one more. Howard said this was all for Robin so it was all her call.
Howard said Robin likes Jon more than everyone else in the office. Robin said not at all. She said she just picked the people she wanted there.
Howard said Fred ordered Squab at dinner. He said it's a pigeon. Howard said he doesn't eat birds. He said he didn't say anything. He said he quietly threw up in the corner. Howard said it was a nice night. Robin said she wasn't trying to offend anyone. Howard said he was thrilled with the guest list.
Howard asked if Benjy was upset. He said he must have been. Robin said it has nothing to do with their relationships in the office. She said it has to do with their relationships outside of the office.
Jon said the best thing was the dessert. He said they brought you like six things and then they brought out the cake for Robin. He said Gary ate that chocolate cake. He said he had the shrimp with bacon early on and then the cake. Howard said he gave Gary his cake too.
Gary said Benjy is not upset he wasn't invited but with Jon he's not understanding that. Gary said Nick is out there pacing up and down because he's so upset. Howard said he doesn't know Nick so he's glad that it was Jon Hein. He said it was a fun night. Gary said thanks so much because it was a fun night. Howard said thank Robin. Gary thanked them both.
Howard said he got a special gift for Robin. He said he'll let some people comment first. Howard took a call from a woman who asked if Howard painted the wind chimes in the painting. Howard said he didn't. Robin said she doesn't have them at this house. Howard said he did include the bench he gave her in this one.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Beth gets upset that he gives her such romantic gifts. Howard said he doesn't bang her. He said she's one of his closest relationships. Howard said Beth would come up and watch him painting this painting. He said he'd have to put in a couple of hours at a time. He said Beth would tell him he was done when he wasn't done. He said she knows how important Robin is to him.
Howard said Beth changed twice before they went out. Robin said she looked lovely. Howard said he liked that dress because it was a tittie dress. He said her titties popped the dress open in the car. He said he thought that was hot. He said the strap on her dress broke.
Howard said he was kind of surprised that the guys didn't wear a tie. He said he was the only one wearing one. Robin said she was looking up the restaurant and they said Jacket and Tie. Gary said he called and asked. He said they don't require a tie. He said they don't require a jacket. He said it's business casual. Howard said things are changing in this world.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's very passionate about painting so when he retires is that what will occupy his time. Howard said absolutely. He said he's going to become a master. He said he's just running out of time. He said he will master it but this job is holding him back.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Jon not to feel bad about what he did there. Howard said just try something different. He said it's a once in a lifetime experience. He said that they're there in New York and they're all getting together to do something right. He said Jon is ordering the safest thing on the menu. He said no one is asking for mixed vegetables. Jon said he did go in with an open mind. He said he tried everything. Howard said he just ate the best food on the planet. Jon said he thought all the food tasted very good. He said it's just not what he loves. Howard said that's because he's heavy set and has eaten heavily salted foods. He said he doesn't think he's capable of tasting good food. Jon said it was very good.
Jon asked what kind of fish that was with the baby corn. Howard said it was like Salmon or something. Jon asked if it was trout. Howard said it wasn't Salmon but it wasn't Trout. Jon said he pounded it down and that was very good.
The caller asked what an average meal costs. Howard said you have to save up for that. He let the caller go after that. Howard said he dropped a bit of coin last night. He said he was feeding that Fafa Fooey.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how Jon's wife looked. He asked if her tits were out. Howard said they weren't out but she looked good. Jon said she wore a jumpsuit. The caller asked how he got her. Howard said that was the main topic of conversation last night. He said Jon was a stud back in his day. He said he knows how to operate. He said he got 80 blow jobs in college. Jon said he's a very lucky guy. He said they've been married 28 years now. Howard said she wasn't showing any tittie. Jon said there was a little bit there. He said she wore a bando under the jumpsuit. Howard said the one who did show some tittie was Jon Hein.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked what he paid for dinner. Howard asked what he thinks he paid. King said $7,000. Howard said that's a little high. He said he doesn't want to get into that. He said he's trying to be classy here as he talks about Jon Hein's titties.
Jon said he was thinking about going out after dinner if he didn't like the food. He said they went straight home. Howard said he used to eat a full meal before going out. He said he was afraid he might not have enough food back in the day.
King asked if Robin has any black friends. Robin said of course she does. She said she was the black friend at the table last night. King said she was probably the only one in the restaurant. Robin said they weren't looking around for that. King said he went out to a nice place one time and he wore a T-shirt. He said his father got upset about that. Howard said of course he did.
King said he finds it so soothing to see Howard petting cats on Beth's Instagram. Howard said he does that for Beth. He said he doesn't show his face. He said he doesn't like the way he looks. He said his legs were showing one day and he asked her not to show that. He said he does show his arms. King said Howard is very thin. Howard said he might be too thin. He said he took a picture with the Bagel Boss guy yesterday and it's very funny. He said he looks strange standing next to him. He said he's so tall and lanky. He said he looks like a cadaver.
King asked how he cuts all of that shit off. Howard said it's a mind thing. He hung up on King after that.
Howard said he has to take a break to stay on time. He said he has Whitney Cummings coming in. He said she's promoting a new Netflix special. He said he has to find out what she got paid. He said he'll have to ask. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he has a couple of birthday surprises for Robin. He said he has a birthday phony phone call starring Robin. He said it's one of the stupidest calls he's heard but he laughs every time. He said this one is calls ''Your refrigerator is running.'' Howard played the call where the guys had audio of Robin asking a guy if his refrigerator is running. The guy says yes and Robin tells him to go catch it and then laughs really hard. They kept doing the same thing over and over with the guy until he hung up on her.
Howard said he knows guys think they're going to get laid when they hear a sexy voice. He said that's why they stay on the line.
Howard said he has to mention this because it's so good on so many levels. He said there's a new group put together. He said they had Brandi Carlile on the show. He said there was a group called The Highwaymen and now there's Maren Morris, Brandi Carlile and two other women. He said they started a band called The Highwomen. He said they're all really talented. He said they said they'd come by the studios and record some songs for the app. He said it's such good video. He said it's unbelievably good. He said the music is great and Maren is dressed sexy. He said Brandi Carlile does it for him too. He said she's lesbian but he has fantasies about all four of them getting it on. He said he can't imagine Brandi doesn't want Maren.
Howard played some of Maren Morris' performance of ''Girl'' from back in April. He said she was in there doing this song. Howard listened to that for a short time. He said she's unbelievable running around singing in hot pants. Howard said that's the song he has to make with Rick Rubin. He said he has to do ''Angel in Hot Pants.''
Howard said Maren actually talked about forming this new band when she was in there. He played a clip from that interview.
Howard said just wait until you see this on the app. He said Brandi Carlile is in it too. He said she was so good on the show when she did ''The Joke'' in there. He played some of that performance.
Howard said you have to figure whatever they do is awesome. He said there's Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires too. He said they're in this group. He said they all came in there and performed in the studio for the app. He said the ladies looked great and they did a cover of Fleetwood Mac's ''The Chain'' and it's so much fun to watch. He said Maren is in a skimpy outfit and she's so talented. He said it's the same with Brandi. He said it's crazy. He said it's not even fair. Howard said he watched it like 5 times before dinner last night. He played the song for Robin. He let it play all the way through.
Howard said you have to watch this on the app. He said it's so entertaining. He said it's all free if you have a subscription. He said it's fascinating with the sexual energy in the room. He mentioned Maren Morris again running around in a sexy outfit. He said it's awesome. He said you'll watch it over and over again.
Howard said they do a new song called ''Redesigning women'' too. He said he has a third song they did for Robin. He said she will be shocked. He said he'll play that later today. He said she'll scream like Benjy. Fred played Benjy screaming. Howard asked where that's from. Fred said that's from Sharknado. Howard said Benjy steals that movie with that. Howard said he has to take another break. He said Whitney Cummings will be in later. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said there's so much fallout from Robin's dinner. He said Jon said people won't look him in the eye. Jon said Will did but no one else. JD said he looked him in the eye. Jon said he's sorry he got invited. He said he doesn't know what he did wrong. Howard said people wont' let Robin have things. He said they don't want her to have a dinner. Jon said he's sorry about that.
Howard said Whitney Cummings is there. He said there's a lot of sexual tension there with her. He said there are a lot of comics who want to fuck her. He said the female comics are jealous of her looks. Howard said they have people on the Daily Mail site every day. He said they have comments about hot women on there that are ridiculous. He said if they think Emily Ratajkowski is ugly then no woman is good looking to them. Howard said she's super hot. He said you can't say she looks ugly. Whitney said that's the narrative they believe to justify their frustration.
Whitney said she was in a meeting once and they were showing a picture of actresses and they were all talking about how busted they were and how they were too old. She said she was thinking that none of these women would fuck any of these guys. She said she was in another meeting when she was like 23 years old. She said she was at her best looking. Howard said she's very hot. He said she has a very good look. He said in comedy they say hot chicks can't be funny. Whitney said it seems to be changing. She said she was told that she'd never be in a hit show. She said they told her she has an Asymmetrical face so she can never be a lead. She said that he was a big blob of fat. She said if he came up to her in a bar she'd call the police.
Howard asked if there was a story about Harvey Weinstein wanting to meet with her. Whitney said she dodged that bullet. She said there was a roast for Quentin Tarantino at the Friar's club and Howard may have been there. Howard said he may have. He said he might have gone to that one. He said he went to the Matt Lauer one. Whitney said this was her first roast and she was like 25. She said she got the list for the people who were there. Howard said she's very good with her roasts. Whitney said they're doing one with Alec Baldwin next. Howard said he likes Alec and he'd feel funny goofing on him. Whitney said it's weird with the way the climate is right now. She said she feels she'd get her feelings hurt. She said she was torn about Alec. She said she was asked to do it and she wasn't sure if they can even do it. She said they used to be able to say shit that was crazy. She said she opened with the Joan Rivers roast by saying she saw her in The Wrestler. She said that Joan was so old that she has a separate entrance for black cocks. Whitney said you can't do that anymore.
Howard said she was making a point about the Harvey Weinstein thing. Whitney said Harvey and Brett Ratner were both there. She said they can make or break your career. Howard said she was very young at the time. Whitney said she had written a bunch of jokes about them and chickened out. She said that she was afraid that they'd ruin her career. Howard said it's kind of true. Whitney said she was on page 1. She said she was so scared that she didn't do them. She said she had all of these jokes. She said she never go to tell them and she brought them today.
Howard said this was all before the Harvey Weinstein stuff came out. Whitney said she had heard they slept with actresses. She said she figured someone would tell their story. Howard asked what her jokes are. Whitney said that now she can tell them. She had one about Brett that says she'd below Brett if that would stop him from making movies. She said they have a whole rack of movies dedicated to him at Barnes and Nobel. It's called Clearance. She had a few other jokes about Brett. She said she had one where she said that actresses fucked him to get in and out of his movies. Howard said he gets why she was afraid to use them. She said they could have kept her out of some stuff.
Whitney said she did the Trump roast. She said she thinks he liked it. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said he has a very thin skin. Whitney said that Trump is good at making good TV. She said he knows he's going to win if he laughs at everything. She said it felt smart.
Howard asked what she has about Harvey Weinstein. She had a joke about having a meeting with him and him leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She said that it had to be something that sounded funny and not so true. She said she had a joke about how fat he is. She had some jokes about forcing himself into relationships with women but not with Jenny Craig. She said she was too scared to use these jokes. She said she was too scared to do jokes about them. She said you don't want to piss them off.
Whitney told Howard some more roast jokes. She said that these are kind of hokey. She said she wrote them like 10 years ago. Howard said it must be fun to write them. Whitney said there's a lot of things you have to think about. She said you connect things to people with things that are in the news.
Howard said she was a very good student and she sees things like math. He said not everyone sees jokes like that. Whitney said her family talked to each other like that so it was like constant roasting. He said she learned from that.
Howard asked what the story is about Harvey wanting to meet with Whitney back stage. Whitney said she was asked to go out to dinner after the Tarantino roast. She said she went and sat next to Quentin. She said Harvey was there but didn't seem interested in her. She said she may have been too old for him. Howard said maybe she was threatening to him because she's smart and funny. He said she may have been able to do dick jokes if she saw his penis.
Whitney said that night they went to dinner and she hadn't met many celebrities. She said Quentin ordered some sushi and he got some octopus leg. She said she was such a fan she wanted to please him. She said that he told her to have one of these. She said that she ate it and gagged on it. She said that she swallowed it whole. She said that it regurgitated out of her mouth when she tried to say something to him. She said it just slid up out of her throat. She said Quentin asked if she puked. She said she pretended it didn't happen but it was the most embarrassing moment of her life.
Whitney said a couple of nights later she was at the Comedy Store and the manager came to her and said Harvey Weinstein was there. She said she had to go to another place to do a set and she didn't go back. She said that he saw her already so she didn't want to go back. Howard said he thinks he knows what he wanted her for. Whitney said she was so afraid to tell jokes about Harvey but she wishes she had done them.
Howard asked if she knew about the Les Moonves stuff. Whitney said there were always jokes about that stuff but she didn't know it was this sinister stuff. She said the one thing about Les that she had experience with was when she was out in Malibu once. She said it's a public beach but there are all of these expensive houses there. She said that she was on the beach one day and saw orange traffic cones on the beach. She said she was told that was just Les Moonves. She said she got closer and went up to him and Les was surrounded by the cones. She said she went up to him and asked what he was doing. She said he just said he's in there and ''they'' are out there. She said these people will never be happy after seeing that.
Howard asked how many seasons of Two Broke Girls did. Whitney said they did 5. She said it's in syndication now. She said she wishes she could retire from that. Whitney said she had two parents have strokes without health insurance so she had to pay for that. Howard said hospital bills are crazy. Whitney said she had an ICU bill that was $65,000. Howard asked if she gets angry that she has to pay them. Whitney said it does make her resentful at times. She said you can't look at it like a loan or borrowing. She said they can't pay you back. She said once you loan someone money it ruins the relationship. She said it just makes things worse.
Howard asked if it was Les who put the show on. Whitney said that they were asked to do it with two boys. She said that Les did get it though.
Howard said with her dad dying he doesn't get this story. He said she was very upset about that but she decided to take an Ayahuasca trip. Howard asked why she would think she can self diagnose and get the cure. He said he doesn't get that thinking. He said that she just went to do that to cure herself. Howard said he thought she was smart. Whitney said she had a hard time with the grief. She said she did puke a lot from the Ayahuasca. Howard said he would never do that. He said he took everything when he was a young man. He said he did every drug and decided it wasn't for him. He said he liked quaaludes. He said they were 25 cents each. He said he took them regularly. He said it wasn't every day but he took them quite a bit. He said he can see how people get addicted. He said he hates all drugs. Whitney said she hates how she feels after.
Whitney said when her dad died it was very sudden. She said she didn't expect it and she had never been through that kind of thing. She said she thinks she was obsessed with trying to have a relationship with him and they weren't able to get there. She said she just wanted to make her dad laugh. She said he looked like Dan Aykroyd and he'd sign autographs as Dan. She said he was hilarious.
Howard asked where she went to do the Ayahuasca. Whitney said she did it in Topanga Canyon. Robin said that's the first problem. Whitney said she had this guy come in and do it. She said she took this stuff and puked all night. She said she was just coming to some obvious conclusions. She said on the second night she had some very clear ''your job is to just surprise people'' kind of thoughts. She said her dad used to scare people. She said he liked to jump out and scare people. Howard asked if that's why she has the robot on the special. She said that's it.
Howard said Whitney's dad called himself a lone wolf so when he died Whitney locked herself up with some wolves in a wolf sanctuary. Whitney said that they have this sanctuary called Wolf Connection. She said some of them are cross bred and they're domesticated. She said it's pretty fucking wild. She said she was so grief stricken and lost that she sort of wanted them to eat her. She said she was so antsy that she didn't want to talk about it. Howard said she's so interesting. He said people don't lock themselves up with wolves. Whitney said she found herself having a hard time. She said that people weren't comforting so the wolves were her answer.
Howard said Whitney is into animal rescue even more than he and Beth are. He said that she rescued a paper bag. Whitney said she did. Howard said this kind of happened to him. Whitney said she saw a puppy in the middle of the road. She said she stopped traffic to rescue the puppy but it turns out it's a trash bag. Howard said everyone is screaming at her and she rescues the bag. Whitney said you have to do that when you get to that point. She said she can't do that with cats. She said she doesn't understand cats. She said that Beth has told her to just leave cats alone. She said she took a cat in once and posted on social media. She said she wanted to find a home for it and then it turns out it was her neighbor's cat. She wondered why it was out. Howard said it shouldn't be out. He said the cat should be in the house.
Whitney said she rescued a cat once at 2 in the morning. She said she got out of the car and gets this cat. She said she was texting with Beth and asking what to do. She said they went to the vet and found out it had been in every night. She said the owner wanted to leave it out because it was trying to die. Whitney said that's not what was going on. She said she found that very odd.
Howard said Whitney rescued a giraffe too. Whitney said they didn't evacuate this thing during the fires. She said she was involved in a fire when she was a kid. She said they didn't pay their heating bills when she was a kid so she got dressed on the stove and her pajamas caught fire and she got some burns on her legs. He said they're not that bad though. She said she went to school after getting burned on the stove. Whitney said then the teacher said she had to go to the hospital. She said her dad told her to tough it out.
Howard said she has this new Netflix special. Howard asked if she sees what other people are getting paid. Whitney said she's not getting that. She said she put her money into the special. Howard asked if everyone things they're going to get 50 million from that. Whitney said those guys are legends and she knows she's not up there. She said if they give Eddie 70 million that's great. Howard said everyone is expecting so much from Eddie. He said you know he doesn't want to go back but for that kind of money he has to. Whitney said he'll be under a microscope. She said everyone is going to be watching. Howard said most of the stuff he used to do couldn't be aired on Netflix. Whitney said that would be horrible if people ripped him apart for what he did in the past. She said you have to work shit out at the clubs and it doesn't always work out right away.
Howard said he doesn't want to see people working out their material at a club. Whitney said she goes to a little club called Flappers and works stuff out. She said she would never do that at the shows where she's charging big money. She said she did 44 cities before she shot this special. She said she saw Eddie Murphy about 4 years ago at the Comedy Store. She said it was wild. She said Eddie was there and everyone was dead quiet. She said he levitate down the hallway. She said she just whispered ''I love you.''
Howard said Eddie is locked into his own history. He said he was so good at it. Whitney said she thinks he has a movie coming out for Netflix. She said she can't imagine that pressure though. Howard said Whitney is in the game and doing it every night. Whitney said she cut so many bits because she was worried about people coming after her. Howard said he hates that comics are feeling that pressure. He said they have to push the boundaries. Whitney said you can handle it in a smart and intelligent way.
Howard said he liked the material she did about the guys thinking that they used to be able to touch women at work. Whitney said that they were never allowed to do that and that's how they ended up where they are now. Whitney said she has material about the service dogs and how they have signs on them that say don't touch. Howard asked when this is airing. Whitney said it's streaming on Netflix now. It's called ''Can I Touch It?'' Howard said Whitney is working with this woman on the #MeToo movement but the woman who started that said something about being upset with her. Whitney said she thinks that was just some click bait story out there.
Howard asked what the bottom line is on the Roseanne thing. He said that he heard she was bringing her back on TV but then she quit. Whitney said she did quit. Howard asked if she had a falling out with Roseanne. Whitney said she's not even sure. She said that she isn't in touch with her. She said she loves The Conners. She said she grew up watching Roseanne. She said she left because it felt like there was an impending disaster coming. She said there were tweets and she had a feeling something was coming.
Howard said it was her idea to bring it back. Whitney said it was actually Sara Gilbert who wanted to do it. Howard said Roseanne was raving about Whitney when she was in there. She said she was raving about her writing ability. Whitney said she put a lot of work into it. She said that Norm Macdonald and Wanda Sykes were there too. She said they all left when that tweet thing happened. Whitney said she had an idea to come up with a fake Twitter app that would allow her to tweet all she wants without anyone seeing it.
Howard said his grandfather used to complain that people were stealing his money so his dad got a bank book and made up a fake account saying he had $3 million in the account. He said it calmed him right down. He said that's what Whitney wanted to do.
Whitney said there was some negative behavior toward the writers there too. She said she had to get out. Howard said the show was a huge hit. He said Whitney was involved again with a huge hit show. Whitney said when someone is rude to the writers it's not right. She said they work the hardest on the show and they're there to make you shine. She said that you can't treat them like that. She said she saw a snap where she mistreated the writers so she figured she can't do that anymore. She said it didn't feel right. Whitney said they had great writers there and there were people who wrote on the original show. She said she just left. She said she talked to Sara Gilbert. She said it was devastating. She said that show kind of raised her. She said it was almost like having another parent die.
Howard said it was like a miracle that they had the show come back and it was a hit. He said they tried to bring back other shows that weren't hits when they resurrected them. Howard said you'd think that Roseanne would appreciate that and not treat the writers like shit.
Howard said he's interviewed Roseanne and she seems like such a funny and great person. He said you don't see the other side of her when you talk to her. Whitney said they were interviewing people to play the daughter and they would laugh so hard they weren't able to get through them. Whitney said they got the original cast and it was such a no brainer. She said it's like a self sabotage kind of thing or something. She said that she can't begin to understand. She said that some people like to be hated. She said she wondered how you fuck that up. She said things were going so well.
Howard said it's a crazy story. Whitney said racism isn't funny. She said Roseanne is in Hawaii watching FOX News all day. Howard said she can't recover from this. Whitney said she doesn't think so. She said it's tragic.
Howard said Whitney has seen a lot of weird shit. Whitney said she has a weird carer. Howard said he thinks she has some difficulty with her own success. He said she had her own sitcom and Two Broke Girls on the air. He said that comics were getting jealous of her and he thinks the envy was hurtful to her. Whitney said she realized that she's kind of shy and you get so focused on making it. She said that she was ambitious ahead of time. She said she loves doing stand u and making strangers laugh but then she was on TV and she thought that would fix everything. She said that thing is still there though.
Howard asked who she's hanging out with these days. He said he's sort of lost touch. Whitney said she texts Beth all the time. Howard said he sees that. Whitney said she got engaged and it's the first time she's dating someone she's friends with. Howard said he's seen some of her relationships. He didn't get the vibe that she was into them. Howard said she was dating on that Raya app. Whitney said it's like Tinder for shallow assholes. Howard asked if this guy is in the business. Whitney said he works at Vice. She said that he was on the app and he was the first guy who wasn't an actor or model. She said a lot of guys are too aggressive toward her. She said they come up to her and go ''What's up cunt?'' He said they're trying not be funny or something. Howard said he gets that with guys who are trying to show they're loose with their kids and stuff. Whitney said no wonder he doesn't go outside. She said they perform to impress you. Howard said he just goes out and says hello. He said some people say really nice things out on the street.
Whitney said sometimes guys will come up and try to make her laugh. She said she went numb long ago though so it doesn't work. Howard said Whitney does material about sex robots in her special. He said she says she went on some message boards and she found one guy who had trouble with his doll's eyes popping out when he had sex with it. Howard asked how much of a dick wad do you have to be to post something like that. He asked when people go so comfortable with their weirdness. Whitney said she was doing her research and she found that post. She said it was kind of fascinating reading all of this stuff. She said these guys have been hurt by women and they talk about how the dolls won't leave them or hurt them.
Howard wondered if Whitney is going to get married. Whitney said they don't have plans yet. Howard said he and Beth waited a while before they did it. Howard said they did it eventually. Whitney said she's wondering who will walk her down the aisle. Howard said he'll do it. Whitney said she's weird about being the center of attention. She said she doesn't know if she wants to ask people to drive to a vineyard to watch her kiss someone.
Howard asked how close she is with Beth. Whitney said they have a relationship that Howard doesn't even know about. Howard said he gets that feeling. Whitney said Beth is the last judgmental person she knows.
Howard asked how long she was on this Raya app. Whitney said it was getting sketchy. He said she took a year off from dating. She said it was no sex, no dating. She said it wasn't a problem for her. She said porn is free. She said she has never used a dildo before. She said she just uses her hand. She said she likes clean porn. She said she doesn't want to see half eaten food in the background. Howard said he can't imagine her doing that. He said he likes that she can watch porn and touch herself though. Whitney said she doesn't go on PornHub. She said she used to go on Tumblr. She said they got shut down for some reason.
Whitney said she took a year off of dating. Howard said he's not sure what she was doing. Whitney said it's very business. She said it's just to get it over with. She said you masturbate, sob and go to bed.
Howard said she says at some point in her dating she realized that guys think anal is normal and don't ask for it. Whitney said she went on a date when she was 34 and the guy put his entire hand in her mouth and just left it there. Howard said he sees guys do that in porn. Whitney said she thought he lost his balance and he was regrouping. Howard said guys do that with a finger in porn. Whitney said she panicked and didn't know what to do.
Howard said she was interested in this guy and then he puts his hand in her mouth and her whole perception changes. Whitney said it was a hard u-turn. She said that it looked like an impression of something he saw in porn. She said she didn't know what to do. She said she sort of gets the gagging thing. Howard said you just want to get the penis in there and get it over with. Whitney said that guys did things with their ex and then they do it with you. She said that you have to go through the awkward thing of all vaginas are different. She said guys will do whatever they did before. She said you learn a lot about their ex.
Whitney said she had to call her friend Andrew Schultz who is a comedian. She said he tells her the truth no matter what. Whitney said she asked him about the anal thing and why guys think it's the norm. She said you have to watch what you eat for a couple of days and things like that. She said it's not a last minute thing. She said she needs a heads up or it has to be her idea. Whitney said that this guy just wanted to go in there one time and she had to stop him. Whitney said that Andrew told her it's just assumed now. Howard said it has to be because of porn. Whitney said that she watched porn to learn how to give a blow job. Howard said he had no idea what he was doing early on. He said it's instructional to watch porn.
Howard said he heard that Whitney had to hide in a closet when she dated a guy on Raya. Whitney said she was hanging out with a guy and she went to his apartment. She said she heard banging on the door and he put her in his bathroom. She said she had to stay in there while he fought with his girlfriend. She said this was the lowest point of her life. She said this guy was screaming about how he's not seeing anyone. She said she saw his texts through their shared iCloud or something.
Howard asked if guys use her. Whitney said there were some guys who she thinks used her. She said that she felt really used. She said there were some star fucker types too. She said that people told her that some of them were star fuckers. She said that must mean she's a star though. She said she doesn't think about herself that way but she did have some of them.
Howard asked if she is engaged. Whitney said she is. She said she learned from Howard not to fart in front of him. She said it took her a long time to learn that. She said she has not farted in front of him once. Howard said he heard a little fart from Beth once many years ago. He said they were out for a run and he heard it. He said she got very upset. Whitney said no way. Howard said he has never seen Beth shit. He said he's never even seen her butthole. Whitney said he had to have. Howard said no.
Whitney said she used to do the bleaching your butthole thing. Howard asked why. He said guys can't see your ass. Whitney said she's skinny. She said her butt is small so it's hard to hide it. She said she never looked at her butthole until she was 30. She said then she saw it and thought it was a nightmare. She said she got a bleaching thing done but it didn't work.
Howard asked if he would be invited to the wedding. Whitney said she knows Howard wouldn't like going but she'd invite Beth. Howard asked who her best woman would be. Robin said that's the bridesmaid. Whitney said she has friends. She said she'd be worried about them getting along. She said you have to think about all of that stuff. Whitney asked if it was hard for Howard to make his list. Howard said he doesn't remember.
Howard said Whitney has a lot to think about. He said he has learned a lot from her today. Whitney said she's so afraid to come on the show. Howard said she did great. Howard went over the stuff they talked about today. Whitney had forgotten about some of the stuff they talked about. Howard asked when she's going to pose naked somewhere. Whitney said she's not sure she ever would. She said she just posted a picture of herself in a bathing suit because it was a funny suit. Howard said he wants to see something sexy. Whitney said she can't imagine she would.
Howard gave Whitney some plugs for her Netflix special. He said he can't believe she bleached her asshole. Whitney said it didn't make a difference. She said you can get it tattooed down there. She said you can get it pinker. Whitney said she has some white tattoos on her. She said they can't be seen on TV. Howard said you can't see them. Whitney said it's for her and not for you. Whitney said her's says ''I love you'' in white. She has an anchor too. Whitney said Howard must hate tattoos. Howard said he has a bunch. He said Beth got some too. He said she does them in brown. He said he can tell she doesn't want to make the full commitment. Whitney said she wanted to get her dogs on her back but her fiancee said no. Howard said he wants to get more but he doesn't want Beth to get more.
Howard said Whitney was over once and Beth told him to look at how gorgeous she is. He said it brought a tear to his eye because she doesn't see herself that way. He said she's like an angel. Whitney said that's very kind but making this robot for the special showed her a lot. Howard said he's not sure why she put up with the old boyfriend who treated her like shit. Whitney said making the robot took 6 months to make it. She said when she saw it she thought it was hot. Howard said she made one without a vagina or an asshole. He said she's controlling her own robot. Whitney said there's something very dark about the whole thing.
Howard gave Whitney more plugs for her special and mentioned that there's no politics in this. Whitney said there aren't.
Howard said Whitney went to the University of Pennsylvania and Ivanka Trump went there too. Whitney said she was there at the same time. She said the guys would talk about her all the time. She said she would be all dressed up and everyone else was in their sweat pants. Howard asked if she ever goes to reunions there. Whitney said she hasn't.
Howard gave Whitney another plug for her ''Can I Touch It'' Netflix special. Howard asked how much she got paid for that. Whitney said she put a lot of money back into it. Howard said she has to know exactly what she got paid. Whitney said she wanted this special to be great so she didn't want to know what she put into it. Whitney said she did make money but not 70 million. Robin asked what the robot cost. Whitney said the head alone was 30 grand. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
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Howard said he didn't know this. He said Gary was just telling him that he bought 4 of his books and he wasn't allowed to buy 4 at the same time. Robin said she was able to buy 20 at a time. Howard said it must have changed. He said maybe they have it wrong. Robin said she didn't have to go through multiple purchases. Howard said he may go to California to do some shows and he wants to promote the book out there. He said they may do shows from the studios out there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said how about that Whitney Cummings. He said he loves her. He said his favorite part of her appearance was talking about walking on the beach and seeing Les Moonves with the traffic cones around him. Howard said those stories are very interesting to him. He said he can't imagine going to the beach and setting up cones around him so people won't mess with him. He said he's not that well known. He said that's a move. He said if he's that bothered he'd just sit in his house. Howard said that or go to a resort.
Gary said Mike Francesa used to go to a bar to watch football games and at the end of the bar there was a velvet rope around one seat. He said Mike would have them around him on that one seat. Howard said he'd find a way to watch the game other than going to that bar.
Howard said Les sitting there with cones around him is strange. He said you'd think he'd figure something out. Gary said he could buy his own island. Howard said it always amazes him when people don't see themselves. Robin said it takes a special kind of person who can think that way. Howard said he may do that as an experiment. He said even as a goof he'd be embarrassed.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who wished Robin a happy birthday. She said that she saw Whitney with David Spade and she's amazing. She said she's very funny and she has a great figure too. Howard thanked her for the call. Mariann got in a mention about the new kitten they are keeping. Howard said you can go on Beth's Instagram and see the announcement.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said Whitney sounded great today. He said she sounds like she's got it together. Mike mentioned that he's going to be performing with Apples at a comedy festival. Howard asked if he's a comedian. Mike said not really but he does comedy. Howard let him go after that.
Howard took a call from Balls who sang a little bit of a birthday song for Robin. Balls also asked who his hottest celebrity friend is. Howard said his sexiest is Jerry Seinfeld. He said he has quite the ass on him. He said that Whitney is sexy. He said she might be the sexiest. Robin said she doesn't know all of his friends. Howard said maybe it's Maren Morris. He told Balls he's not sure. Howard said Whitney is definitely up there. He said she's the whole package. Howard let Balls go after that. He said Brent's very sexy at a 7.
Howard took a call from a guy who wished Robin a happy birthday. The caller said Howard puts himself down all the time. He said he has a beautiful wife and if she's willing to marry him and have sex with him then she finds him attractive. Howard said he has a quirky look. He said there have been women in his life who were very good looking. He said they were into him but it was an odd thing. The caller said he's not ugly. Howard said he sees himself as ugly. Robin said he's having this conversation with Whitney and telling her that she doesn't see herself like other people see her. Howard said he took a picture with the Bagel Guy and he thought it would be funny. Howard said he stood up and Jason sent it to him. He said he thought he was goofing on Bagel guy but the guy was better looking than him. He said he won't release that picture. He said the joke is on him, not the Bagel guy.
Howard said Little Mikey wants to wish her a happy birthday. He took a call from Mikey and asked how many songs he's written about Robin. Mikey said he's written more than The Highwomen. Howard said it has to be like 300. Mikey said it's probably 500. He said only 499 were good. Howard said he likes his songs. Mikey wished Robin a happy birthday. Mikey said he's a Program Director at a radio station now. He said it's at WZOO in North Carolina. Howard congratulated him on that. Robin said she's glad he's gainfully employed finally. Howard played Robin a Little Mikey song parody.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he just watched the videos the women shot. He said it was great. Howard said he has to hand it to the TV guys. He said they shot it very well.
Howard was talking about Maren Morris' hot pants. He said he loves James Brown because he wrote a song about hot pants and it was a hit. He ended up playing the song.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who said Ronnie should be upset for not being invited to dinner. He said he's retiring next year and he's been friends with Robin for like 30 years. Jim asked what happened between them. Robin said they just stopped going out. She said last night was the last night she was out. Howard said Robin went to Ronnie's house and they watched wrestling. He said that's when it went bad. Robin said that's not her story.
Howard asked Ronnie if he's really upset with Robin. Ronnie came in and said he doesn't care anymore. He said he knows his place on the chain. He said he knows where he's at. He said Robin forgets who her real friends were. He said he was much better friends with her than Jon was. Howard said in a way she probably hung out more with him than Jon Hein. Ronnie said years ago they did. Robin said they used to hang out with a bunch of people. Robin said the group broke up. Ronnie said he learned that when he tried to do that birthday dinner with Howard. He said he tried to throw it with Neil and Wayne and Howard flipped his shit. Howard said he sure did. Ronnie said that's when he learned his place.
Howard said he thinks it might be the young girlfriend. Robin said it's not that because she loves Stephanie. Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks it is. Ronnie said he doesn't know what it is. Gary said he heard he's putting it on him. Ronnie didn't know what he was talking about. He said he joked about something. Ronnie said all he said was that maybe Gary said that Jon is a good conversation person to bring to dinner. Robin said she didn't talk to Gary about anything. Ronnie said calm down then.
Howard asked if Ronnie Puppet was insulted. Fred did the puppet thing and had him talking to Robin.
Howard said Jon Hein wasn't saying much at dinner last night. Ronnie said they do when they go out. He said Fred gets invited to a lot and doesn't go out. Fred said it was Robin. Howard said Fred looks like a movie star when he goes out. He said he was all dressed up with silver hair and sun glasses.
Howard said he would say in terms of conversation Jon had very little to say. He said Gary and Fred's wife have a lot to say. He said Fred talked a little bit. Jim said Fred has come a long way. Howard said he really has. Robin said they were rubes but Fred was a real rube.
Howard said Ronnie isn't really upset. Ronnie said he knows his place. Jon got on microphone and said he thinks he was talking a bit last night. He said they were on opposite sides of the table. He said he thought he talked more than Gary and Fred. Howard said it was definitely more than Fred.
Fred did his Ronnie Puppet some more and had him talking in his high voiced ''yeah.'' Howard said he didn't want to hurt his feelings so he didn't talk to him about it. Robin said Howard invited her out to dinner. She said everyone at that table has invited her out. Ronnie said now she can go fuck herself. He said he asked her out like 20 million times and she would say they'll have to set something up. He said he has asked her out. Robin said it's never an official thing though. She said he'll just say ''we should go out.''
Howard asked if Robin would go out with Jon or Ronnie if they asked her out now. Robin said she would go with Ronnie now. Ronnie said he doesn't want to go anywhere with her now. Howard said he has to wrap up and get to news. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard asked what the top story of the morning is for Robin. Robin said it's all about the shootings but she doesn't like to start out with that. Robin asked Howard what's going on because tonight all of the late night shows have listed an unnamed special guest on August 8th. Robin said it's all of the late night hosts. Howard said he had an idea to go on all of their shows simultaneously. He asked if someone is doing that. Robin said that's what it seems like. Gary said no one knows who it is. Howard said he wanted to do that but he didn't want to make that call. Gary said they had a big conversation about it. Howard said he could have gotten it done. He figured they'd all be pissed if he did it. Howard said it better be a good guest. Howard said maybe it'll be like Oprah. Robin said there are theories out there. Howard said maybe it's the Bagel Boss guy. That led to Howard reading some email about his appearance on the show yesterday. Howard said they got a lot of feedback about that guy. He said he got some negatives too but some people thought they just found a new Wack Packer. Howard said a lot of people liked Chris Wilding with the Bagel Boss guy. He read some email about that.
Gary said that there's a story about how Will Ferrell has a new video to go along with his podcast that might be the thing that will be played on all of those shows. Howard said he should have done it with his book promotion. He said he wanted to just knock it out in one show. He said maybe in the end he's glad he didn't do it. He said the book promotion was successful. He said he's surprised that all of those guys would go along with that. Robin said not for Will Ferrell. She said she loves him but she doesn't think that's who it is. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Gwyneth Paltrow moving in with her husband after a year of marriage. Howard said most people move out after that. Robin said they took their time and got used to everything and now they're moving in together. Howard said it has to be fun living with her. Robin said he hasn't tried it yet. Howard said he imagines her walking around in a little bikini. Robin said she's not talking about that. She's talking about the guy having a kid already and how they took their time to get to this point. Robin said she hopes they have figured it out.
Robin said they talked about the David Crosby documentary at dinner last night. Howard said he loved it. Robin said one of the things David wanted to do was have a reunion with The Byrds. Robin said that won't be happening. She said the other members of the band don't want to do it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a cautionary tale for Shuli. He said he took martial arts and he was out at a bar one night and this little guy picked a fight with him. He said the guy ended up kicking his ass. He said just because he's a little guy it doesn't mean that they can't kick your ass. Howard said he's right there with him. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about people who collect toys. She said people think they have a treasure trove of stuff. Howard said it's just junk. He said Ralph does that. He buys 3 of each thing. Robin said a rare sealed copy of a 1987 Nintendo game is selling for $9,000. Robin said it's called Kid Icarus. Robin said this game was in the attic of his parent's home.
Howard took a call from Bobo who wished Robin a happy birthday. Bobo also asked where Ralph is. He asked why he's not on the phone to talk about not being invited to the dinner last night. Robin said she just cut it off there. Bobo said he thought they were close. Robin said he doesn't have to be included in everything she does. Bobo said he's been going to dinner with her for years. Robin said everything is fine. Howard thanked Bobo for the call.
Robin read a story about Lana Del Rey writing a song about the mass shootings. She had some of the song ''Looking for America'' for Howard to play. Howard said he was thinking about Maren Morris in the video for Robin's song. He was distracted by that.
Howard took a call from the deep voiced J-Bo who called in yesterday. J-Bo said he wanted to call in and wish Robin a happy birthday. Howard put his voice effect on with his deep voice. J-Bo said they're talking about hot women but how about Martha Stewart running around in a cardigan in her kitchen. Howard said she's very sexual. Howard said he didn't know he was going down this fucking route. He said he thought he was calling in to talk about Robin's birthday. He said they went down a creepy road there. He hung up on J-Bo. Robin said he can pull himself out of that deep voice thing. Howard stayed in it a little longer.
Robin said people are a little jumpy after the mass shootings. Robin said that a mall was closed in Utah last night after a false alarm. Robin said a sign fell over and made a loud noise and that got everyone nervous and people started to scatter. Robin said 12 people were injured when a motorcycle backfire caused a panic. Robin said they had to end a performance because of that. Howard said it's a scary time. He said people are scared by loud noises now. He said we have to live with this new reality. Robin said you don't know when something might happen.
Robin read a story about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez going to a memorial service for the people killed in the mass shootings. Robin said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez sent out a message to the people whose anger has been stoked for this white supremacy stuff. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said she finds her hot. Robin said let her speak. Howard let it play a little longer. Howard said he's getting too upset to listen to more.
Howard took a call from a guy who wished Robin a happy birthday. The caller told her to tank her mom for bringing her to this earth. The caller also said he was having a conversation about the mass shootings and he was wondering if Howard thinks that not all white men are mass shooters but all mass shooters are white men. Howard said no. He said there are other mass shooters. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if Howard has sympathy for the families of the shooters. Howard said he dos. He said sometimes you do everything for a kid and they're still fuck ups. Robin said the family of Connor Betts put out a statement about how devastated they are. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said that guy killed his own sister in the shootings. Robin said they were all out at a club and then he came back and started shooting up the place. Robin said they're not sure if he targeted his sister or not. Robin said the woman who was dating this guy says he would bring up mass murders when they talked. Robin asked what you do when that happens. Howard said it's not a great way to get into a girl's pants by talking about mass murders. JD said they say he showed her a video of a mass shooting on their first date. Robin said people don't really say anything when people say these things.
Robin read a story about President Trump going to Dayton and El Paso to meet with the people whose lives have been shattered by the shootings. Robin said they're saying this isn't a time to be political. Howard said he's sure it will all go very well. He said what a horror.
Robin read a story about what people are blaming the shootings on. Robin said it's racism and mental health issues.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's never heard of Maren Morris until this weekend. He said she stopped every guy in their tracks. He said she's hot as fuck. Howard said he called in all the way from Canada with that.
Robin read a story about some Galveston officers on horses walking a black man down a street tied with a rope. Robin said they're saying that they didn't have a transport vehicle so they walked him. Robin said this won't happen again in the future.
Robin read a story about Halle Bailey the black actress who was picked to play Ariel in a new Little Mermaid movie. Robin said she's ignoring all of the negativity surrounding the news. Howard asked why a parent would name their child Halle Bailey when it's so close to Halle Berry. He said he'd never do that to a child.
Robin read a story about the Chicago mayor talking about some things that Ivanka Trump said about the crime rate there. Robin had some audio of the mayor talking about that.
Robin read a story about the U.S. women's soccer team and how they're still under paid. Robin said they're going to file a complaint about that. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.