| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard started the show talking about his horrible night last night. He said the show might be bad today. He said he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to do the show. He said he should have come in and done it. He said now it's miserable. He said he fell asleep at 4 o'clock. He said then the alarm went off. He said he wasn't able to get sleep. He did his Benjy impression talking about not being able to sleep.
Howard said he is cranky and he thinks it will un-crank when David Spade gets there. He said he's really good on Instagram. He said he puts up really funny material. He said he walks around L.A. and he'll see two birds fighting and he'll call the fight between the two birds. He said he'll see a snail in the road and he'll have it in a race or something. He said he's very witty and very with it.
Robin said it sounds like something Benjy would want to do but he doesn't. Howard said speaking of Benjy he ran into him in Central Park yesterday. He said it was so boiling hot there that he thought it was a mirage in the desert. He said he was looking and looking and thought he might be wrong. He said Beth didn't help him out. He waved to him and it was Benjy. He said he stopped and talked to him for a long time. He said Beth said it was like they don't work together because Benjy was so nervous. Howard said he's very awkward off the air. He said most conversations he has off the air are not relaxed. He said that's the way it goes. He said Beth said Benjy seemed very uncomfortable talking to him. He said he was asking him about Peloton and Soul Cycle. He said he was surprised he was walking around. He said he may have been talking to someone or doing a broadcast when he ran into him.
Benjy came in and said that he was talking to someone. Howard said he was surprised that he was walking around in that heat. Benjy said he thought that was their best interaction ever. He said it's funny how Beth read it. Benjy said they were both nervous. Howard said he wasn't nervous at all. He said it was just Benjy. He said Beth sensed that he was nervous. Benjy said he didn't want it to last too long. He said he was worried about it. He said he didn't want him to think he was accosted out there. Howard said that's the weird conversation to have in his head. He said it was nice to run into him.
Howard said Beth was shocked at how big he's gotten. He said Beth thought he was a good looking guy. Robin said she has to look at him in a different way when she hears that. Howard said he was shocked. Benjy said he just came from an over eaters anonymous meeting when he ran into them.
Howard said Benjy didn't smell bad either. He said he was sweet because he asked if he could use him for shade in the park. He said he forgets just how heavy he is. He said he had shades on too. Benjy said he loves running into people in New York. He said to run into Howard made his day. Howard said it was a nice moment. He said Benjy was acting like a normal guy.
Howard said Beth was shocked that they were talking about Peloton because Benjy is such a big guy. He said she was suggesting that he not do it if he's that big. Howard said he thinks Benjy just eats whatever he wants because he exercises. Howard said goodbye to Benjy but he had a story to tell.
Benjy said he was on the phone with Elisa when Howard came over. He said she didn't recognize his voice. He said she was shocked that he had friends when he came over to him. Benjy said he has friends but not that he talks to. Howard said Beth reminded him that it's hot out there and the ground can be 150 degrees. He said they can't believe that he takes care of that dog he has. Benjy said he waited until 7 last night to walk the dog. Howard let Benjy go after that.
Howard asked Memet to come in and explain himself. He said he thinks that he came up with the whole thing himself. Memet said someone nominated his name. Howard asked what zoo this was. Memet said it was the Pittsburgh zoo. He said he didn't nominate the names. Howard said he could have gotten the fans to name him Baba Booey. Gary said he was told he tweeted out for people to vote for him. Howard said asked why he's doing that. He said they told him to stay off of social media and Reddit. Memet said he blew it once again. Howard said he really did blow it.
Gary read a tweet that Memet put out asking people to vote for him because his family wanted it. Memet said that was being sarcastic. Howard said he's a weirdo. He let him leave after that. Howard said think of the show.
Howard said there was nothing to watch on TV last night. He said Robin asked about Love Island. He said he saw the British one but not the American version. He said he TiVo'd the American version. He said it's pretty bad. He said the worst part of it is the bikinis. He said they have a microphone pack around the girl's belly button. He said it's the most unsexy thing. He said they're in a bikini and wearing a microphone pack. He said there has to be a better way to do that. He said he's not sure how but they should. Robin said they have it slung so low on the British one that you can't see it. Robin said the American version is too uptight.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wants to defend Memet. She said Memet is so fucking cute. She said that she's a lesbian and she thinks that. The caller asked if he has ever talked to his therapist about his control issues. Howard said he has and his therapist thinks he's out of his mind. Howard said he went off on JD about his engagement on Twitter and his therapist told him he was out of his mind.
The caller said that Memet is gorgeous. She said she tunes in for Memet. Howard hung up on her and said that she's annoying. He said that's not the way things work.
Howard said he's in a raging Twitter war with OJ Simpson at this point. He said that he's raging against him. He said he's so lame though. He said his wife told him to lay off but OJ is out in Las Vegas so he's not worried. He said OJ would overpower him if he did show up. He said he's not backing off OJ. He said he's not in the mob. Howard said if he's in the mob then he'd be afraid. He said those guys will fuck you up.
Howard said it would have been great if Ron Goldman had been able to overpower OJ. He said they should make a movie about that. He said that would be a boring movie but then Ron would kill Bigfoot. He said Hitler too. Robin asked if that's where Memet is getting his comedy from.
Howard said he was going to go on Twitter and comment back to OJ but he held on to it to do it on the show. Howard said he's going to take a break and then get to more of that. They went to break after that.
Robin said every year they know there's going to be a drain on power but they never seem to be ready. She said there are always blackouts. Howard said he had the air out in one of the rooms in his apartment and it was hot. Robin said imagine you have no air conditioning. Howard said forget it. He said he doesn't want to think about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked how much he upped his security after the OJ tweets. Howard said he had his usual 10 bodyguards. He said Beth was in hiding. He said she didn't want him getting into that Twitter war. He said he doesn't think that he'd murder again. Robin said she thinks he would. She said he doesn't seem to learn. She said he doesn't have that capability.
Howard said he's in a war with OJ now. He said he had on Kim Goldman last week. He said she was fantastic on the show. He said she was talking about how her brother was murdered and Kim calls OJ ''The Murderer.'' He said OJ in his fury must have heard about it. He said OJ sent out a message and refers to him as ''Person A.'' He said OJ calls himself Person B. He said you have no idea what the fuck he's talking about.
Howard said you have to be clear about what you're saying. He said just tell people how you're feeling. He said you won't know what he's talking about but you will sort of.
Howard played some of the clip of OJ talking about how he's not sure what's going on with America. He says he was ''away for awhile.'' Howard said that means he was in prison. Howard replayed the clip and OJ was talking about how this person thinks that he shouldn't have the right to public expression even though he helped that person with fighting that. OJ was going on and on about this mystery ''person A.'' He wasn't making much sense. Howard asked if anyone knows what he's talking about. Robin said she does. Howard said he must be for Trump. Robin said he's talking about the articles of impeachment that failed. Howard said he's a fucking psychopath.
Howard said getting back to the first statement the person A he was talking about was him. He said that OJ would call Robin Person DD. He did his impression of OJ as he was talking about that.
Howard said what he said to Kim Goldman was that he wishes that they'd kick OJ off Twitter. Howard said OJ is confusing first amendment rights with Twitter. He said there is no right to be on Twitter. He said it's a privately held company. He said he can go out on the street and yell out whatever he wants. He said OJ never fought for him ever. He said he was up against the government who was trying to get him off the radio. He said he was never his pal and he refused to come on his show. He said he sat on the board of Infinity Broadcasting but that was it. He said he did whatever Mel Karmazin told him to think. He said Twitter should kick him off. He said OJ is disgusting.
Howard said he doesn't give a shit about anyone's first amendment rights other than his. He said he doesn't care about OJ's first amendment.
Howard said he has OJ on the phone. He took a call from fake OJ who was going over this person A and Person B thing. Howard said maybe his wife was right and he should shut up about this stuff. OJ was talking about what might happen if person B sees person A out at Nobu. He said they are full of knives and person A may not want to go down that road. Howard said he takes it all back. He said he belongs on Twitter. Fake OJ said that person R has some great T's and A.
OJ asked if they've ever heard of Fuck, Marry, Kill. Howard said they have. OJ said that's how he describes his marriage. Howard said he liked him in Naked Gun so please leave him alone. OJ said that Person B has moved on so why can't person A. Howard said good point person B. OJ told Howard to have a ''knife day.'' He said bye to Person A and Person R. Then he told Person R to shut up. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said maybe he will lay off of OJ. He said imagine he runs into him and the only person there is Ronnie. He said Ronnie is like 70 and he'd have a heart attack. Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe he should lay off of OJ. Howard said he's not sure what Ronnie would do. The caller wondered if he'd be buddies with OJ. Howard said he thinks he would be. Howard said Ron Goldman was in way better shape and they know how that turned out.
Howard said he received some very nice emails about his interview with Kim Goldman. He read some of that feedback. He said he got a nice note from Al Michaels about that interview. He said he sent it to Gary since he doesn't have his email. Howard said he's changing his so people have no idea what it is. He said he doesn't want to give it out because people just ask him to do stuff for them when they have it. Howard said maybe he should just leave it. He said if he doesn't then people will ask for his email. Howard read the note that Al sent. He said Al is a great guy. He said it's nice to know he's out there listening.
Howard said he was listening to that old OJ Simpson phony phone call. He said Al was part of that. He said it holds up after all these years. He said it was Peter Jennings and Al watching the Bronco chase. He said Al had to let Peter know that Baba Booey was a code word from a certain radio show. Howard played the call that one of their fans made to ABC News as Robert Higgins. The caller told Peter he was watching OJ and he looked very nervous. He said he could see OJ and he looked scared. He signed off with ''And Baba Booey to y'all.'' Then Al Michaels breaks in and tells Peter Jennings that it was a totally farcical call. He said he said something in code at the end that was in reference to a certain radio show host.
Howard said that was expert witness Al Michaels. He said Al told them that he has never used that word farcical in his life except that time. Howard said that guy who made the call was named Maurey from Brooklyn. He said it's the greatest phony phone call of all time.
Howard asked if he's saying that the hitman is staying in but the guy who hired him is getting out. The caller said that's correct. Howard asked why he got the second trial. The caller explained that the guy had a mile stroke during his testimony in the first trial. He said they diagnosed him with a mild stroke. Howard asked how the guy gets off easy for hiring someone to kill someone. The caller said the jury just didn't get it. He said they had witnesses die and people's memories weren't fresh. He said that the guy nearly went free.
Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with our system. He said that the guy clearly hired a hit on his brother for dating a woman he was divorced from. He asked why he's not in jail for life. He said they dress these people up in a suit and everyone goes soft. The caller said they had 12 people who just didn't get it. He said they sat through another month long trial and they just didn't get it.
Howard asked if the woman is worried about the guy getting out. The caller said he thinks she is. He said fuck OJ for running around on golf courses. He said god bless the Goldman family. Howard said it's great for this guy to hear about it because he's living the same nightmare. The caller thanked Howard for all the years of the show. He said that he's been listening since he was on WBCN. Howard asked if he still lives up there. The caller said he does. He asked Howard to play some Sulu Dance for him and his brother. Howard did that for him. He said this is Kidd Chris singing the song. Howard let the song play but Fred broke into a commercial break in the middle of it. Howard told Fred to start it over and let it play all the way through and then go to break. Fred started it over and let it play through. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said that song used to sound so heavy but now it sounds kind of tame. Robin said they used to show rock stars on shows and she thought AC/DC were out of their minds. She said it was like they were in another world.
Howard said in this song they never say the word ''paranoid'' even though that's the name of the song. Howard said that was his Casey Kasem fact.
Howard said for those who love their app they are putting out a lot of television. He said it's all free for their subscribers. Howard said they put it out like a year ago. He said it's a great app. He said you can download it all and watch. He said their good friends at Collective Soul have performed some songs for them. He said they came in and shot it the way he says it should go and they shot them performing their songs the way he asked them to shoot it. He said Collective Soul came in and performed ''Heavy'' and ''Right as Rain.'' He said you can see the both up on the app now.
Howard played some of their ''Heavy'' performance. He said you can see the whole thing up on the app. He said when that guy says ''All your weight falls on me'' it really gets him. He said that this person has no clue but this person he thinks about brings him down. He said it's almost like he was born to have this responsibility.
Howard asked what this guy's name is. He said he never looks the way he thinks he's going to look. He said they're wonderful musicians. Gary said his name is Ed Roland. Howard asked if he wrote that lyric. Gary said Steve Brandano said he did. Howard played more of the song. He said you can hear both of the songs on the SiriusXM app.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said the Bobo puppet is great and he has him down. He said it's just amazing. He said they have his ''jewl'y'' down. Bobo had to correct himself and said jewelry. Fred did his impression of Bobo for a second.
Howard said they got a ton of great feedback about those puppets. He read some of that feedback.
Howard said they have some new song parodies about Bobo. He played one about his being bald now. Howard said they have a Bobo, JD, Ronnie and Tan Mom puppet now. Howard asked if they have gotten Fred the puppet stand. Fred said they have it but he's not able to get to them quickly. He said that it's a little too low. He said it's a work in progress. He said he's going to have a meeting over it. Fred did his Bobo Puppet thing. Howard asked why his toupee is hanging off the back. Fred said it was an accident. He took the toupee off completely. He said they made his blotches more stand offish now.
Howard asked Bobo Puppet about some things like his jewelry. Bobo Puppet was talking about all of his awards and the patches on his jacket. He had a 9/12 patch on his jacket.
Howard said they are going to get a green screen behind him so they can see him driving a car. Bobo Puppet said they can show him hiding from his wife on his phone by the water.
Howard said his lesions have inspired a song. He played that song parody about Bobo's lesions. Howard said they have the sniffing and the ''It's not rocket science'' saying in there.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the Bobo segment they thought was so boring was actually great. He said that Robin kept insulting Bobo and Bobo didn't pick up on it. Bobo said he did. Howard said he picked up on it and Robin really hates him. Robin said Bobo was ruining the show. Howard said that's his thing. Ralph said you know when Robin is insulting that she rally doesn't like someone. Robin said she loves Bobo. Bobo Puppet said he can tell when she doesn't like him. He said his boils get very red when she's angry with him. He said they're mood boils.
Howard said Ralph picked up on something that he wanted to talk to her about. Howard said Ralph's phone is giving them problems again. He said he'll solve that by hanging up on him.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if they can have more Tan Mom puppet and less Bobo puppet. Bobo said come on. He said it's funny. The caller said it's not funny anymore. She said it was funny 10 times ago. She said the Tan Mom puppet was mediocre and Tan Mom was outstanding. Bobo said come on. The caller said that Bobo sucks. She said Fred is fantastic with the puppet but Bobo is awful. Howard said it's irritating that Bobo likes his puppet.
Howard said he has to give Shuli some coaching on the puppet. He said he has to be all over the place with her. He said she has to yell and be happy. He said he has to have crazy thoughts. He said he has to develop some material for it.
Shuli came in and Howard said he shaved his head. He said it's pretty disturbing. Howard asked how Tan Mom is doing. Shuli did his impression and Howard said he has to get all over the place with her. Shuli and Fred did their impressions with the puppets for a short time. Howard wrapped up with Bobo and the puppets.
Howard took a call from a guy who said fuck Ralph. He said he's always ready to jump on the bandwagon and throw people under the bus but he won't let them talk about him on the air. He said fuck Ralph. Howard asked if he has anything to say about Bobo. The caller said Bobo is okay but fuck him anyway.
Bobo said he just wanted to say that Collective Soul is a great band and it reminds him of hanging out with Gary and Mary at one of their shows. Howard said he doesn't want to jump on Bobo all the time but was that necessary? Bobo said it was. He said he got to hang out with Gary for about an hour at that show. Howard said he went to Neptune and hung out with Gary. Gary said he did hang out with him. He said he got there super early and he was one of the first people in. He said they spoke to Bobo for about a half hour. He said his wife was very normal and attractive. He said he was surprised by that. He said she was too good looking for Bobo. He said she was in good shape and good looking. Bobo Puppet was talking about what a great woman she is. He said she squirts and peels the scabs off his scalp. Gary said this memory has to be like 18 or 19 years old.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows that Robin started hating Bobo when he used the N-Word. Robin said no that wasn't it. He said she'd have to hate a lot more people if that was the case.
Howard asked Bobo how he got his wife. Bobo said back in the day she was really hot. He said that people change. Howard asked if he's saying that she's not hot now. Bobo said that was 14 years ago. He said no one stays the same. Howard said he really is dumb. Gary said he just told the whole world his wife was attractive and now he's trying to reel it in. Howard asked who she looked like back in the day. Gary said he can't remember. He said he just thought that she was way too good looking for him. He said she's a hair dresser by the way. Bobo said she figured his hair out in no time. Howard and Bobo Puppet goofed on Bobo for a short time and then moved on.
Howard said he was told by someone that there are too many Baba Booey's in Golf. He said he's still dazzled by it. Robin said she had a gust at her house and she heard someone saying that there are still a lot but didn't say there are too many.
Howard said there was one over in Ireland at the British Open. He played a clip. Howard said that is very important to have that in there.
Howard said there have been some Baba Booey's outside of golf too. He said he has one from a news report from the opening of a marijuana shop. Howard played that and a couple of guys got it in. He said that was in Las Vegas.
Howard said a hypnotist was on a news show and hypnotized someone to think his name was Baba Booey. The guy had the guy saying Baba Booey for every answer he had. Howard thanked Darren Frasier for that.
Howard said Chris Jacobs hosted a Expeditions Unknown Egypt Live show and he said ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' as they went to commercial break. Howard played that clip. Howard said he's not even convinced that's a real TV show.
Howard said Jon Hein went to his daughter's graduation and someone said ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' while he was sitting there. Howard played ad clip from that too. The guy even said ''Good morning everybody'' like Jon.
Howard played another news report where some people said they Hit 'em with the Hein'' and Baba Booey shout outs from a running race.
Howard said there it is. He said Baba Booey is out there and alive and well. Howard said this guy just told one of the runners that his shirt smelled after he did a run.
Howard said he was thinking about that Garbage song with the lyric ''I'm only happy when it rains'' and he was thinking about how that's him. He said he should interview her about that song. He played some of the song and said he can relate to it. He said he loves rainy days. He sang along with the song a bit and said he wants to move to the rain forest.
Gary said she says she wrote that kind of goofing on the Grunge movement. Howard said they were on their show and did ''Number 1 Crush'' in the studio. He said she's sexy. Gary said her name is Shirley Manson.
Howard said he thought she was that dark. He said he was relating to her. He said he was happy with the grunge movement back in the 90s.
Howard said maybe he can play a new phony phone call before going to break. Robin said she'd hate to be stuck in Howard's head. Howard said he felt like he was stuck with her all weekend. He said he was doing something for her but she'll have to wait to find out what it was. He said she's going to love it oh so much.
Howard said they got this cat named Walter. He said he was returned twice. He said for some reason they removed all of his claws. He said they brought him to the shelter and then brought him back again. He said now they have him and he loves this cat so much. He said he was lost and found by him. He said just listen to the song. He said that's what this is about.
Howard said they also have this cat Bella who was abused and they took her in. He said they have another cat, Pebble, who survived a tornado. He said this is what this song is about. He let the song play more. He said Fred was lost and he found him too. Howard made up some lyrics about his cats to the tune of that song.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wanted to tell him that she's going to buy this song. Howard said Beth is embarrassed by her singing voice but he thinks it's cute. He said she said she was on Instagram singing the song. She loved the song so much that she was singing and put it out there for people to hear. He said she cries whenever she hears it.
Howard took a call from a guy and said he's going to take this one and then get to David Spade. He said he just heard it's his birthday today. The caller said they crack him up with the Fred drops. He wondered if Howard says them out in public. Howard said he says ''Benefit oh so much'' all the time. He said that's Vinnie Favale. Fred pulled some of those clips up to play. The caller said he says he's a bad cowboy all the time. Howard said he says ''peace and love'' all the time. Robin said the songs get stuck in her head and sings them out loud. She said she was singing ''I'll suck your ween'' at home. Howard wondered how many people have heard that song. He said he thought it was going to be an internet sensation.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a cat that was returned 4 times as a kitten. He said this cat is the best cat in the world. Howard wondered how people take in an animal and then abandon it. He said they have all kinds of excuses. He said that they take in this cat and the cat is like 15 when they decide to unburden themselves. Howard said cats aren't toys that you can just unload. The caller said his cat ran into the other room and brought out her favorite toy. Howard said they're great. He said he has to get to David Spade. He said he was supposed to be at his own birthday party but he came there instead. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said he has David Spade there. He said he's got a new show starting next week on Comedy Central called ''Lights Out with David Spade.'' He said that starts next Monday night.
David said he hasn't been in there in like a year. Howard said he was thinking about him and how great a story teller he is. He said people ask about why he's not married and things like that. He said David has a great stand up act and it must take a ton of energy to write. David said it does. Howard said he has this Instagram thing going and that takes time too. He said he has time for fucking but not time for him to sit around and pine away for a relationship. He said now he has a show that will be on 4 days a week. David said that's scary. Howard said he doesn't have time in his life. David said he wishes he was there as his attorney when he's breaking up. He said it's kind of hard.
David said he did that show in the Hamptons and George Stephanopoulos wasn't there. He said his wife was. He said he hasn't been in there since last August. Howard said David volunteered to do this charity show for his wife. He said they had a great night. He said he raised a bunch of money. David said he brought his daughter, Harper, out to Howard's house to see all of their cats. He said his daughter loved that. He said he told them that he'd do that show for them to raise money for the charity. Howard said they have never asked anyone to do that for them. He said he told Beth that he didn't think David wanted to do it. David said that he told her that they should do it again the next year. Howard said after they did it they had a sit down and he said he didn't think David was happy. He said he told Beth that he was going to say he wanted to do it again and he didn't want her to ask him to do it again. He said he has such a problem asking people to do things like that. He said it's terrible. He said he would rather write a check to the charity.
David said he was thinking about how he could get a ton of people to come by and do 10 minutes for them. He said they all love getting together. Howard said Beth told him all of that. He said he asked her not to bother him with it. David said he would do it. Howard said do it but don't tell him about it. David said they had a great time doing it last year.
David said it was a small place in the Hamptons. He said it only held like 3-400 people. He said Charlotte Lawrence went on and performed. He said he went on and was scared shitless. He said he was scared. Howard asked why. David said he's never seen Howard at his shows. He said Alec Baldwin was there and so many others were there too. He said he's scared of most of them. He said those gigs are kind of tricky. He said it's not just a comedy crowd. He said it's friends getting together. He said it was a good crowd though.
Howard said he got big laughs. David said Lorne laughing and Howard and the guys laughing was great. He said it was weird with Lorne laughing. He said he hasn't seen him laughing at him since he was on Saturday Night Live.
Howard said he seems to be flying under the radar. He said he gets people to laugh. He said he's not doing any Trump stuff and he doesn't go political. David said he could do that but there are so many people doing them that there is no room for him. He said he doesn't want to piss people off either.
Howard said they were talking about his Instagram this morning. He said he does some really funny stuff out there with that. He asked if he's putting a lot of time into that. David said not at all. He said it's very easy to do. He said he goes for walks and he'll just film it and put it out there. He doesn't think too much about it at all.
David said even with the new show they want to work that in. He said they're using them as bumpers on the show. Howard said he has great stand up.
David said they just did a movie for Netflix called ''The Wrong Missy.'' He said that he goes on a date and gets divorced. He said he starts dating after his divorce. He said he invites this girl to Hawaii and it turns out he was texting the wrong girl. He said he ends up on vacation with her. Howard asked where they shot it. David said they shot it in Hawaii.
Howard asked if Adam Sandler is producing it. David said he is. He said he was in Father of the Year and that did well for Netflix. He said Netflix is a bit mysterious. He said he got word that the movie did well 2 weeks in a row and no one could believe it. Howard asked if he feels vindicated when that happens. He said people used to say that he'd have no career without Chris Farley. David said he hears that he should have died instead of Chris on Twitter. He said that they give him that kind of crap all the time.
Howard said he hears that kind of stuff about himself too. He said the fans tell him that he sucks now and they miss Jackie and stuff like that.
Howard asked how long he shot Missy for. David said it was 2 months. He said Harper came out there and she was there hanging out with Sandler's kids. He said their daughters invited her to a Bat Mitzvah. Howard said he heard Adam asked Adam Levine to sing at the bat mitzvah. David said that it was Sadie's bat mitzvah. Howard asked how his kids aren't spoiled. David said that he's a super dad. He said he's very good at it. He said they asked him to come to the bat mitzvah and he got an invite later. He said Harper wanted to go too. David wondered what kind of spoiled event this was going to be. He said they were going to have it at a small place with sparkles on the ceiling. He said that he shows up had they have like 5 rooms there. Howard asked how much he thinks Sandler spent on it. David said he's sure it was a high dollar event.
Howard asked who was there. David said that Conan O'Brien was there. He said he wasn't quite as enchanted with him as Howard was with his interview. He said Conan goes back with Adam to the Saturday Night Live days. Howard asked if Conan was taking it in and making jokes. David said he was. David said his mom was with him and she was saying that it wasn't the best convo at the table. He said Conan was actually very nice to him and his mom. Howard said Conan must have felt he was stuck where talking to his mom. Howard asked if he brought his mom as his date. David said he's seeing a girl and he brought her. David said his mom was wondering if that was Dustin Hoffman at their table. David said it was. He said she wanted to go tell him what her favorite movies of his were. He said they asked her not to do that. He said he brought her over and he was so nice so it made her night.
Howard said years ago Jim Carrey was living in his apartment building. He said his parents were over one day and they were in the elevator with him. He said his father knew who he was but didn't know his name. He said he had to ask who he was. Howard said he had to apologize to Jim for that. David said he always goes over and over does it with the parents of people.
Howard asked who else was at his table. David said all the girls were out dancing their heads off. He said they were watching and waiting. He said that his mom had to tap out. He said she's the most upbeat person. He said she can't take too much of it. Howard did his impression of his parents complaining about the noise there. David said he was going to leave with his mom and they ran into Adam and his wife at the door. He said they didn't let them just leave. He said he put in about 2 hours. He said he thought it was winding down but it wasn't.
David said he told Adam that his mother's lupus was kicking in. He said David told his mom that Adam Levine was going on soon. He said his mother wanted to stay so they did. He said Adam said he just asked Levine if he would do it and he was up for it. David said every kid was freaking the fuck out. He said it was all girls and they were screaming. He said there were more phones than girls out there. He said he brought one guy for Maroon 5. He said they did their thing and then they left.
David said he was told not to give the kid money. David said he had Harper make a present instead. Howard said he has been invited to these things. He said he always give a G. He said that Sandler and Jackie went home that night and figure that he should have given a gift. Howard said that he dinner was probably $500 a plate. Howard said what you do now is send a gift this weekend. He said you have to send something. He said that's what people do at these things. David said he didn't know. He said now he feels like an asshole.
Howard said he just got his own show on Comedy Central. He said he has to give something to the kid. David said yeah.
David said when they did the Hamptons thing he ran into Lorne and he asked him to come over to his place for some spaghetti. He said he went out there and he was right by Jack Nicholson. He said Jack was asking him to walk him through the show. He said he was asking him to tell him what went on. He said Jack claimed he wasn't able to make it because he was so busy. He said they were all drunk and laughing. He said Jack told him he saw him at the MTV awards once. He said Jack said he climbed into a limo and there were three burnouts in the car. It was Nirvana the band. He said Rosie asked if they didn't know who he was. Jack said that's never happened.
Howard said it's so great that Jack is on cloud nine and rolling on with life. He said he ends up in a limo with Nirvana. Howard asked if there's any weirdness with him because he stole his girlfriend. David said that there was a misunderstanding there. Howard said he has to tell that story. David said he and Lara Flynn Boyle were dating and he was on Just Shoot Me at the time. He said she was super fun. He said they went out and met Jack ate a party. He said that he brought Lara with him. He said Jack asked if they wanted to spark a joint. He said he didn't care that he was hitting on her. He said they smoked the doob and then Jack said he might steal his girlfriend from him one day. He said they left and Lara said that he was lame for not doing something when Jack was hitting on her. David said he told her that you can go out with him or not. He said it's just the reality of it. He said that she said he was gross but that's what you have to watch out for. He said if they say that then it's in pre-fuck mode. He said they're so intrigued that they can't take their eyes off of them.
David said he got a call from Lara days later and she said that Jack got her dressing room number. He said that he thinks she was faking being mad about it. He said meanwhile she's soaking wet. David said a week later he got a call from the Enquirer and they were asking if he had any comments about her getting in a car crash with Jack and getting out of the sunroof and saying she can't be there because she has a boyfriend. David said they weren't really dating but suddenly he was her boyfriend.
Howard asked if that embarrassed him at all. David said it does bother him when other people think about it. He said if he was that into her he would have put up more of a fight. He said he's seen her since then. He said she would just laugh about it. He said she couldn't care less about it.
Howard asked if he said anything to Jack at Lorne's house. David said it's such a blip on his radar that he doesn't bother. He said he's sure it's the same with Eddie Murphy and what went on with them.
Howard said he made a real splash last time he was on. He said he talked about dating the Van Halen video woman. Howard said he went back and watched that video again after hearing that story. David said he heard from her. He said he hasn't seen her though. He said he was all flattering about her so that's what he told her.
Howard said David's new show is called ''Lights Out with David Spade.'' He said he's on after the Daily Show at 11:30. He asked if he's feeling pressure. David said he wasn't feeling any pressure until Howard asked him about it.
Howard asked what format it is. David said he's going to do a monologue. He said he feels like people would wonder why he's not if he didn't. He said he's on the other late night shows all the time so he's not feeling pressure. He said he and Fallon are going out to dinner tonight. He said they all went out with Lorne last time he was in town.
Howard said David invited him to dinner but he fucked it up. David said he's going to Fallon and he's sure he'll pay or it. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said he might forget his wallet.
David said one time he was out at dinner at a fancy restaurant and they put him in a corner booth. He said they had a whole private room that was separated with glass. He said he saw this group with Sander in there and did some material for them. He said when he leaves he paid for their meal. He said that Adam said he shouldn't have. He said he got a call from Identity Guard the next day and someone thought that they had stolen his card and it was $9,000 that they charged. David said that was him. He said that it was 9,000. Howard said that's something. David said Robin could have ordered her wine with that meal and no one would have noticed.
Howard said he thought he was going to do one night a week with this show. David said that was the plan. He said he did a pilot and people liked it. He said they wanted to put it on after The Daily Show. He said that they asked him to do it 4 nights a week. Howard said there is some safety in doing it that way. David said you do 10 and then do 10 a year later. He said now they can get some momentum.
Howard asked what the show is going to be. David said it's sort of like a panel show like The Five. He said he'll do a cold open and sit with 3 comedians every night. He said that they'll have 3 different ones a night.
David said when he's out promoting he likes to do the big ones like Howard Stern and Ellen. Howard said he's great on Ellen. David said he's known her for a long time and he's honored that you can still get on these first slug shows. He said he likes to be able to get on first. He said that you can get on second and that's kind of hard. He said he hasn't had to do that for a few years now. Howard said it would fuck his ego up if he was on second. David said it would. He said that sometimes they have some guest come on just for a short interview and they say that he's still ''first.'' He said he knows that's bullshit.
Howard asked if he's going to have a desk on his show. David said no. He said they'll just sit there and talk. He said it's not about politics. Howard said he knows he's stressed out by this. He said he can see that his back is bothering him. He said just sit like a regular person. David said he's trying.
Howard said back pain is just stress. He said he's in pain and this show is too much pressure. David said it might be this show. He said he only gets it when he's there.
Howard asked him to tell the story about Celine Dion on the Jimmy Kimmel show. He said she didn't get his humor. David said this bit was going to be about this military couple getting married and they were going to film it and use it for the show. He said they told them the reason they were doing it but didn't tell them that Kimmel was doing a show in there as well. David said they asked this couple to get married by Jimmy. He said they knew that the camera was going to be there. He said that they were doing their vows and they asked if anyone was there who didn't think they should get married. David said then he barges in and does some jokes. He said he walked in with a big drink. Howard said then Celine walks in and David asks her to make sure she does a good job tonight. David said she came in and did one of her big songs.
David said later that night he went over to say hi to Celine and security stopped him. He said they were all looking at him and Celine looks over and says okay. He said they walk him back like she's royalty. Howard said that's how they set it up. David said he went up to her and said the comedy team is back together again. He said he told her that he needed her to bring her A-game. He said she didn't get that he was joking around with her.
Howard said he has a story about Johnny Carson too. He said he was actually on the show. Howard asked when he met him. David said he did it 2 months before he retired. Howard said he must have been on Saturday Night Live then. Gary said he retired in May of 1992. David said he went out and did his spot on the show and he was told to hit his spot on the floor. David said he was told to get right off stage when he was done. He said that he went out and shit a fucking brick. He said you're looking at cameras and not seeing people. He said you think about how small it is in there.
David said he found his X and went right to it. He said Carson is behind you and to the right. He said he did his jokes. He said he did pretty good. He said he looked over to Johnny and he saw him. He said he didn't see a wave. He said Martin Short told Johnny to have him over and he didn't see that so he walked right off. He said the stage manager told him to walk back out. He said he was told not to look over at him. He said he went to his dressing room and Johnny, Doc and Martin Short came to his door. He said that Johnny told him he did a good job. He said that Johnny saw him drinking Pepto Bismol and said ''I'm trying to quit the stuff.'' He said then he walked off.
Howard said what a crazy business it is. He asked if that was his biggest deal going on that show. David said it's all about the small breaks he had in his career. He said he got to do all of these shows and he worked on Saturday Night Live as a writer and then he was on camera. He said it was like he was incrementally spoon fed to the public. He said it never made him crazy.
Howard said David has had a great career. He said it's sort of like Jim Carrey. David said he was auditioning for Dumb and Dumber. He said he saw that Jim got it and he knew they didn't need him. He said he thinks that it was for that part. He said they won with that. Howard said that script was around and everyone turned it down. He said Jim sure got it. He said he understood the part. He was thinking of Ace Ventura. Howard said he didn't know he was talking about Dumb and Dumber.
David said he heard Jim did Ace Ventura for like $500,000. He said that they wanted him to do Dumb and Dumber and they asked for $1 million and they turned him down. He said then Ace Ventura came out and Jim asked for $7 million and they agreed to it.
David said he did an Indian Casino recently. He said this woman there said they had Kool and the Gang there. He said they told him he had no dressing room so he had an RV out in the parking lot. He said he was getting sun burned through the wall. He said that she came in and said she wanted to give him a heads up that it's a dry casino. He said she's about 70 years old. He said she was his driver. David said he slipped in some small bottles of booze in his socks. He said he was told the restaurant is dry too. He said he went and had some food. He said he came back a little buzzed. He said she asked if he wanted him to go out and get him something to drink. He said she knew he needed it. David said she comes back with some stuff for him. He said she got him a bunch of stuff including the little bottles of booze. He said she told him to slug them down. He said he didn't do it then.
David said he went out and did the show and crushed. He said that he had to order a jet to get home. He said he and his opener got in the back of the van to drive there. He said the buzz was fading away and the driver asked if he can do her a favor. He said she said it could get her fired. He said she's a grandma and her granddaughter loves Joe Dirt. She asked if they can stop by the house to meet her. David said he never does this but he said he can't do it. He said they were running late. David said 2 seconds later she hands him her phone and she's got the kid on Facetime. David said he crawled up to the front and talked to the kid. He said that he was doing his Joe Dirt material and the kid didn't care. He said then she takes the phone back and say ''He's tired...''
Howard said Sam Kinison drove David around when he was younger. David said what a great guy he was. Howard asked how he met him. David said he was at Finny Bones in Arizona. He said Kinison was doing a week there. He said he thinks he was the emcee there. He said he was barely starting out at that point. He said Sam asked him to drive him back to his apartment. He said they went out and got some booze. He said Robert Townsend was there too. He said Kinison asked him if he wanted any coke and he said no so he let him stay with them. He said that he had to stay the night and listen to his life stories.
Howard said he has seen a lot and done a lot. He said it's David's birthday today too. David said it's a rap them. Howard said David wants to be like Conan and be the best interview. He said his stories are great.
David said the show is nerve wracking. He said he'll wrap it up with that. He said he puts a lot into what he's working on. Howard said you'd think that he'd wanted to hold on to the Daily Show's ratings. David said he'll try to hang on to some of their crumbs. He said that's their hit over there. Howard said he has to relax. He said this should be a good shot for him. He asked what the show name refers to. David said he wanted to call it The Spade Show but they wanted to call it something so they can replace him with someone else.
David said they're going to have Dennis Miller and Dana Carvey the first night. He said they're going to have him do a bunch of impressions. He said it'll be fun to hear Dennis not talk about politics. He said Tina Fey is going to be on too. He said he's doing something with her today. He said he knows how Howard feels when he volunteered to do the charity thing for Beth. He said it's weird.
Howard said David is the savior for Comedy Central. He said they had the Colbert Report and then that went away. David said they had other shows on. He said that one more show doesn't hurt. Howard said he has to get in there and Hit 'em with the Hein. David said they can be a little rough around the edges over there. Howard said he's sure he'll do fine.
Howard said they didn't talk about meeting the dog Farley in Boston. David said he'll tell that and then Robin can get to her news. He said he hears her jingling her car keys over there.
David said he was doing Father of the Year and he had a mini van. He said he was sitting in the van waiting to shoot. He said there were neighbors watching. He said he heard a knock on the door. He said this drunk lady was there asking if he was in there. He said she asked if she could talk to him or is he too big of a hot shot. David said he lowered his window like a quarter of an inch. He said the door slides open and this woman tells him to scooch over. He said he did. Then she gets in the van and she tells him she has a dog named Farley. He said she tells him about the dog and how crazy he is like Farley. David said she was in the van for like 20 minutes telling him the story. He said he shot his scene and then goes back out and he meets another dog named Ginger. He said then this woman comes back out and says that they were going to name him Farley. It turns out that was the dog but they didn't name if Farley. It was Ginger. He said he put up with all of that and the dog's name wasn't even Farley. David said that he went back to the van and the woman is like ''Going back to the van hot shot?''
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Spade is a better guest than Conan. He said that he gets the show. David said that's nice of him to say. Howard said he was just name the best guest by Ralph. Howard said everyone missed the point of the book. He said he felt a connection to Conan. He said he and David have a connection too. He said they text a couple of times a week. David said he sends him stuff about the show. Howard said he loves it and it inspires him. He said he's talking about this emotional connection he had. Ralph said he's talking about being a listener.
David said Conan is great. He said he was on Saturday Night Live and Conan and Bob Odenkirk were writers on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he has to take this in. He said he was with those two and Robert Smigel. He said that he was hired to be a writer there too. David said there were a bunch of others too. He said it was too good and he didn't know it at the time. He said Norm was there and he was a genius too. He said Colin Quinn was there too. He said he wasn't able to do what they did. He said that he didn't think that he could be as good as they were. He said Dennis Miller was the one who told Lorne about him. He said the other guys were just so good that he couldn't keep up.
David said he had to move back to L.A. every year when the season was up. He said he never knew if he was coming back the next season. Howard asked if Lorne never told him that. David said in the last season he did. He said he told him he could come back the next season if he wanted to.
David said he went out to dinner with some other Saturday Night Live cast members and they had a great time talking about the show. He said they can all relate to it.
Ralph asked if he wrote the ''Buh Bye'' character. David said that was Fred Wolf's idea. He said he wrote a bunch of his other characters but not that one.
Howard wrapped up and gave David some plugs for his new show. David was getting ready to walk out. Howard told him to sit there and wait for him to finish. Howard said if he's lucky this show will be a hit and he'll get to play Indian Casinos that serve alcohol.
Howard wished David luck with the new show. He said you have to follow him on Instagram too. He said he's not sure how he has time for all of this. He said he has to keep working. He asked if he's in love right now. David sighed and said that's his ride. Howard gave him more plugs and asked if he has anything else to add. David said he appreciates being there and he cracks up every day listening to the show. Howard gave him a 143. David told him he likes the Ronnie Puppet. Howard had Fred pull that thing out so he could talk to him. Howard said he thinks it would be great to see them together. Fred did his thing for a minute with David. They went to break a short time later.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Robin started off talking about Tom Brady who was on vacation in Costa Rica and he had his six year old daughter on a cliff and he was going to jump. Robin said he holds her hand and then counts down and the daughter hesitates and he jumps. Robin said people are criticizing him today for that. Robin said she didn't look like she wanted to go but he made her. Howard said you have to find something to criticize the guy over. He said his dad would have pushed him off the cliff. Howard said they're always looking for something about Tom Brady. He said she'll be fine. He said he hasn't seen the video yet. Robin said Howard would scream over it. Howard said his daughters would put him in that situation. He said he as a helicopter parent. He said he worried about him so much. He said when they were young he'd take them somewhere and he'd worry that something terrible was going to happen. He said it was too much for him.
Robin said Tom was pretty high up. Howard said he has that fearlessness gene. Robin said he chases the adrenaline on and off the field. Howard said he has to think everything through.
Robin read a story about Adam Sandler talking about asking Adam Levine to do his daughter's bat mitzvah. Robin said there's some pressure to turn your child's party into a major event in Hollywood. Robin said he did it at the last minute. Robin had some audio of Sandler telling that story to someone on Entertainment Tonight. Howard said he could never ask someone to do a party like that. He said he doesn't want to be in that loop.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that David was being honest about wanting to do that thing for Beth. She said he's very honest. Howard let her go after telling that story.
Robin read a story about Celebrity Family Feud. Howard said he just saw the Maria Menounos and ''Kevin Underoo'' family playing. He said he wasn't sure who they were playing with. JD said they were against someone who is on The Real. Howard said he would walk out if he was playing against that family. Robin said Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker were on last night. Howard said he would watch that. He said he watched the Victoria's Secret angels vs. The Bachelors from The Bachelor. He said that was too much. He said it's embarrassing enough and you don't want that. Robin said Brooklyn Decker had a very interesting answer. Robin said they asked them to name a reason you're in a hole and this was her answer. Howard played the clip and Brooklyn said ''You're a man having sex.'' She didn't have a match. Howard said she's his kind of gal. Robin said that's right up there with that answer from the Newlywed Game where the woman said ''in the butt'' when asked about the most interesting place she's had sex. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Balls who said Spade was great on the show today. Howard said he really has a good vibe. He said he likes his attitude. He said he comes in and gets settled and tells them about his life. He said he likes the way he looks at Jack Nicholson stealing his girl as an honor.
Balls asked Howard who has asked him for more stuff, regular people or celebrities. Howard said everyone in his life asks him for stuff. He said Robin never asks him for anything. He said Fred too. Balls asked what celebrities have asked him for. Howard said they ask him to come on their show and stuff. He said he has an agent for that so he has an out. Howard said he has to think about that. He said everything is like ''I don't want to bother you but...'' He said it's a nice thing they want you on a show. He said he really has to go. He said he'll think of some examples. He said Robin never bothers him for anything. He said Fred isn't a pain in the ass either.
Robin read a story about the highest grossing movie of all time. Howard said he knows Gone with the Wind would be huge if they compared it to today's money. Howard said he has to think about this. He said ''The Man who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot.'' He said Gary sent him a weird email about that movie. He said Gary said the people who made it asked if he waned the film. Howard said he doesn't think Gary listens to the show. He said he was thinking maybe there was a documentary about that. Howard said he just deleted it. He asked Gary why he sent it to him. Gary said he knows he heard him talking about it but he didn't know he had seen it. Gary said he does listen. Howard cut him off. He said he's not sure what's going on with him.
Howard said he talked to Robin about that movie for 3 weeks straight. He said Gary doesn't know that and he's the producer of the show. He asked what he should make of that. Robin said it's one of those blips that's hard to explain. Howard said he feels like sometimes he's not tuned into what they're doing.
Howard went over the thing Robin asked about the highest grossing movie of all time. He played a Baba Booey song parody while he thought about it. Robin said until now it was Avatar. Howard said he liked that. Robin said before that it was Titanic. Robin said now that has been unseated by Avengers: Endgame. Howard said he read an article about it the other day and they ruined it for him. Robin said that movie is the all time highest grossing film after earning nearly $2.8 billion. Robin said it overtook Avatar over the weekend. Robin said it was the champion for 10 years. Robin said Disney is now the home for the top 7 top grossing films of all time.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who is clearing their throat all the time in the background. Howard said that's a drop of Gary. He asked what kind of listener he is. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Seth Rogen being in the movie ''Lion King'' and that movie earned $185 million over the weekend. Howard said he heard it was too long. He said he'll see that when it comes out on video. Howard said Eric Andre is in it too. He wondered how he got that shot.
Robin brought up Comic-Con. Howard said someone showed up to Comic-Con in a Fartman costume. He said it looked like the real thing. Robin said there was a lot of news about new Marvel movies at Comic-Con. Howard said they'll go back in time and get a different cast. Robin said they're jumping all over the place. She said they announced a bunch of movies that will be out in the next few years. Robin said Scarlett Johansson's character died as Howard knows. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said she can't talk to him about this. Howard said she just ruined it for him. Fred played the Hindenburg announcer talking about it being the worst thing in the world. Robin went over the list of movies that are in the works at Marvel.
Howard took a call from the Hulk who was upset that there is no Hulk movie coming out. Hulk was freaking out about that. Howard said he's not going to settle down to Dr. Bruce Banner so he hung up on him. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a 37 year old man who died after being hit by a wave at a beach and broke his neck. Robin said they say that you should never turn your back to the ocean. Robin said the guy was playing on the beach with his children when he was hit by the save. Robin said it knocked him over and slammed his head into the sand and broke his neck. Robin said that's crazy. She said it was so bad there was no saving him. Howard said he's in favor of blowing up the moon so they would never have waves again.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if the Hulk has ever gotten laid as the Hulk. Howard said Dr. Bruce Banner would conjure him up to get a big boner. The caller asked who he had sex with. Howard said his cock expanded so much it blew this woman's mind. He said then his load was like a fire hose and blew her across the room. He said he knocked over a woman and killed her with his load.
Robin read a story about the Social Security system which is going to be paying out more in 2020 than it takes in. Robin said more than 54 million Americans collect benefits today.
Robin read a story about how men seem to be able to feel pain for other men when you tell a story about another man feeling pain down there. Robin said a Florida man tied up a man who he caught sleeping with his wife and he used scissors to cut off the man's penis. Robin said his name was Alex Bonilla. Robin said he broke into the man's home and forced him into a bedroom and dismembered him. Howard said how about being mad at your wife instead of the guy who is fucking her.
Robin read a story about the opioid crisis that's so bad that an airline is going to carry Narcan on flights. Robin said a man died on a Delta flight recently and they are going to start carrying the Narcan on board.
Robin read a story about Pampers coming out with an alternative to pulling a diaper to see if it's wet. Robin said they have a sensor that sends information to a mobile app. Robin said the sensor will track the baby's sleeping pattern as well. Howard said they have to put that on Richard.
Robin said she was thinking about the story she read last week about Elon Musk putting a computer in the human brain. Robin said she thinks that would be amazing.
Robin read a story about R. Kelly making his way to New York. She said he'll be moved to a Brooklyn court soon to answer to some charges about allegedly sexually abusing some women.
Robin said she was put in a quandary over the weekend. She said Trump has been talking about these four women in Congress. She had some audio of him at a rally where the people were chanting ''Send her back!'' over and over. Robin said Trump claims he asked them to stop. The audio proved otherwise. Robin said he didn't stop any chants. Robin said he just said after that he disagreed with them. Robin asked what you're supposed to do in a situation like this. She asked if it's news if he keeps doing it. Howard said yes. Robin said she's never seen anything like this before. Robin said people are defending him and saying it's not racist. Robin said he has never told a white person to go back to where he came from. Robin said they keep talking about this and it adds to the division. Howard said there has never been a time in this nation's history like this.
Robin said Corey Booker says that our president is worse than a racist. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Trump showing up at someone's wedding in New Jersey. Robin had some audio from the wedding. Howard said it was at his golf club. Robin said of course but they weren't expecting him to show up.
Robin had more audio for Howard to play where someone was talking about Trump's comments about the congresswomen Trump is upset with. Howard said people are allowed to be critical of the government in this country. Robin said not this one.
Robin read a story about Trump talking about meeting with Chuck Schumer about the camps where they're keeping illegal immigrants. Robin wrapped up her news a short time later. Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how there was a question about if they were going to send their crew to The Gathering for Insane Clown Posse. He said they are not. He said they have done it for two years so they will not be going this time. He said he loves the Juggalos and Insane Clown Posse. He said he wasn't too sure if Shaggy 2 Dope was white or black. Robin said she was sure he was white.
Howard played one of their songs called I'm Gonna Kill You. He said they also have Santa's a Fat Bitch. He played a little bit of that too. Howard said they are not going to The Gathering this year. He said it's absolute chaos as they have learned in the past couple of years. Robin said there's a lot of public sex going on there.
Howard said Wolfie went 2 years in a row. He said he has a montage of things that happened there in the past. Howard played a clip of Wolfie asking people what the craziest things were there at The Gathering. There were all kinds of crazy stories about people getting stabbed and things like that.
Howard said every band playing sounds crazier than the next. He played a clip of an announcer naming the bands. There were some really obscure bands and then C&C Music Factory was thrown in there. Robin said she doesn't think they're going to do well there.
Howard said they do have some interesting things going on at these events. He said maybe they will go. He played a clip of an announce naming some of the things they'll be doing there. They have all kinds of games and events there.
Howard said he likes that whole thing. He said it sounds like fun. Robin said no it doesn't. Howard said they have an act called Clownvis who dresses like Elvis in clown makeup. He said just wait until you hear the headliner. He played a clip of that being announced. They have Gilbert Gottfried there. Howard asked if he knows he's involved. Robin said that really is insane. Howard said they live up to their name. He said they always try to outdo themselves. He said you have to give that to them. Howard asked how long Gilbert will last on stage. Robin said maybe 10 seconds.
Howard said he's still flabby and gross but he's losing weight. He said he should look like a supermodel. Robin said Giselle Bundchen has a twin. Howard said he knows that. He said he knows everything about her. Robin said she doesn't look like her though. She said she saw a picture this morning and said ''Oh my god that poor woman.''
Howard said he talked about this Josh Radin song yesterday. He played some of the song and said you have to hear this. He said his wife was so moved that she wanted to play it for someone at North Shore who hadn't heard it. He said she asked Gary to send her a link so she could have what he said about it. He said Gary does that and sends her the link and it's that rap and the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song. He said Beth thought Gary just sent that one clip and not a song. He said he probably never listened.
Howard said Beth assumed that Gary is a professional. Fred played the song. Howard said he asked what happened. He said Beth said she sent it and they played it in a meeting and they played the song in the meeting.
Howard said Beth went to listened to the clip later and heard the song. She said she contacted Joanne and she said they heard the whole thing. He said it took away from the moment. He said Gary has a new strategy and won't engage with him on the air. He said he avoids him so that's smart.
Howard said that song is now the official song of North Shore Animal League. He said that's like the time Gange sent porn to his kid's teacher. He said it was the same thing. He said he asked Gange to send this tape over to this woman and Gange taped over a used video tape. He said he asked him to record Seinfeld for her. He said he put it on a porno tape and forgot to erase the other tape. He said they sent a copy to her and she saw hard core porn. He said her husband was an ex-priest. He said then they think that Howard Stern is a deviant.
Howard asked Gary what happened. Gary said he asked someone who he trusts to get him this clip. He said he wanted to get it to Beth quickly. He said that it's on him because he should have listened to it before he sent it. Howard said he should have known that yesterday. He asked what the rush is. He said he could have taken 5 minutes to listen to it. Gary said he just through that it would be correct. He said it was stupid of him to think that.
Howard said you can't argue with that. He said he's taking responsibility. Fred played a Baba Booey song parody. Howard said Gary can't argue with it. He said he's not a good boss. He said he should throw him out and get someone else. He said Gary has a note on his desk saying ''slow down'' but he hasn't slowed down. He said you can slow down and see what's on this thing before sending it out. Howard wondered who the guy is that he trusted. He said he should give him a serious dress down.
Howard said it would have been nice to have the right clip so they think he did a great thing. He said things always go wrong. He said he has like 50 things like this happen every day. He said he should have ''slow down'' tattooed on Gary's face so he sees it in the mirror every morning.
Howard said Beth was quite perplexed. He did an impression of Gary saying his boss didn't do anything wrong. They think Beth did something wrong. Howard said he was so busy yesterday. He said he was reading Bella Thorne's book and doing other things. He said he told Beth to contact Gary and get the tape.
Howard said Gary must have been too busy for that. Gary said he must have been making calls and stuff. They played another Baba Booey song parody. Howard said leave Gary alone. He said he has enough problems.
Robin said that's like the newscast where they put the wrong tape on. Howard said that can happen. He said Gary should trust his people. Gary said the person who handled it for him said after that song there was more about that song. He said he would have taken that song out if he had listened to it. Howard said it happened though. He said he'll handle it though.
Howard said the head of North Shore Animal League is on the phone. He took the call from the fake head of North Shore who was screaming and saying the cats were going crazy over there. Howard quickly hung up and said that's enough of that.
Howard said he was thinking about the second woman he had sex with. He said he wanted to move fast in the relationship. He said they did and then she had sex and ended up crying and going back to her ex. He said things went really well. Robin said that had to mark him in some way. Howard said he's not marked. He said let him yell at Gary some more. He said he's not really angry. He said he gets angry and then he feels bad. He said that's another problem he has. Robin said that's being inauthentic. Howard said that's his rap name.
Howard asked the caller what he wanted. The caller, Nick, said they should go to The Gathering. Howard said maybe they should. Nick said they went to the Wing Bowl. Howard said they have some wild stories there at The Gathering. He said maybe they will go. He said we'll see. He said they had a meeting about it and they figured they can't do the same thing over and over. He said they want to try new things.
Nick told Howard not to apologize for being a grump. He said just stick with it. Howard said he should. He said he's too nice. He said he didn't even fire Gange for sending that porn tape. He talked about how Gange explained that he used a used tape for that. He said he didn't check his work either. He said he kept him on for 20 years after that. He said he doesn't fire anyone. He said it's very rare. He said if you're a real fuck up he has to get rid of you. Nick asked if he has fired anyone. Howard said he doesn't think so. Robin said there was at least one. Howard said that guy was going berserk. Robin said you almost have to be a criminal. Howard said people fuck him up and they don't get fired and they know that.
Nick said Sal jerked off at work. Howard said if Sal did that again they'd have to fire him. He said he claims he locked the door but someone unlocked it. He said Sal is at a job he likes and he's jerking off. He said he has a stupid defense. He said he claims he doesn't know you can't jerk off at work. Gary said Sal wants to defend this.
Sal came into the studio. Howard said he was watching the tape of Sal answering trivia and they asked what country the great potato famine was in. Sal answered Idaho. Sal said he knows it was Ireland. He pronounced it ''Ira-land.'' Howard pointed that out and asked if he has ever heard it pronounced that way. Sal said his family does. Howard asked what's wrong with him. He said he can't get mad at him because he's stupid. Sal said what Gary did was stupid. He said he should double check his work.
Gary asked why it was okay to jerk off at work. They kept having Sal saying Ireland wrong so they got sidetracked. Howard asked what is wrong with Sal that he can't get it right. Sal kept saying it ''Ira-land.'' Robin said it the right way for him and she started to get it wrong like Sal. Howard got Sal to say it right once.
Howard asked where the potato famine was. Sal said ''Ira-land.'' Howard laughed. He told Sal not to jerk off at work. Sal said he did it once a long time ago. He said he was really worked up and he just had to release the poison. Howard asked if he was about to cum. Sal said he may have been mid-cum. He said the guy didn't see anything. He said the next day he told Richard about Thom catching him. He said he had the door locked and he heard a sound. He said the lock unlocked and he wondered who had a key at 5:30 at night. He said then the door opened. He said he went ''Holy shit'' and his head went down on the keyboard. He said Thom came in and it was over. Howard said he might be Irish. He had Sal trying to say Ireland again.
Howard took a call from Ralph who brought up Gary's fuck up again. Gary said he didn't know that Beth was going to play it for someone. He said he thought it was for her. Ralph told him to stop trying to defend it.
Howard said Michael Rapaport is really upset about Gary. He played a voicemail from Michael who was going off on him about a few things including this movie that Gary asked him if he wanted. Howard said he talked to Robin about this movie for days and then Gary contacts Laura asking her if Howard would like a copy of ''The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Killed Bigfoot.'' He said it seems like Gary doesn't know what's going on there. Ralph said it's hard to listen to the show while other things are going on. Gary said there are a lot of times where there are people coming to him during the show and talking to him and telling stories they want to get on the air. He said he's not ignoring him. Ralph said the caveat is that only 10 percent of the conversations are important. Gary said that's true but he has to pay attention or they'll go on the air and say you're not giving respect.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who said maybe Howard should pay more attention to Jason than Gary. Howard said he thought this one was a slam dunk. Jim said Gary is important to the show but why can't he get this stuff done. Howard said a lot of the time he's talking to Benjy. Jim asked if he trusts Jason more now. Howard said he can't get into it. He said he can't delegate more to Jason. He said he's tried to clear stuff off of Gary's plate.
Howard said Sal's wife is on the phone and wants him to jerk off more at work. He took the call from fake Sal's wife who said she has to jerk off there so she doesn't have it going on there at home. Howard asked her to say Ireland. She said it like Sal did earlier. Howard had Sal say it a few more times. Sal was getting it right most of the time. Sal said he has to go. Howard told Sal to get out of there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to defend Gary on this. He said Gary has already explained what went wrong. Howard said he's not that upset. He said he's just jerking him around and trying to keep him on his toes. The caller said that he did what they asked for. Howard said he didn't ask for 2 bits though. He said he just asked for one. Howard said remind him not to hire this guy Nick.
Howard said he gets emails about this stuff all day long. He said they have fuck ups all the time. Fred played Sal trying to say ''Ireland'' again. Howard said he has to take a break. He said they have Bella Thorne coming in. He said he likes that movie ''Midnight Sun'' that she's in. He said that she's in it with Patrick Schwarzenegger. He said it's a great movie. Robin said she fell in love with this guy but she doesn't tell him she has this disease and then she has to reveal it to him. Robin said she's not going to watch the movie. Howard said she's like a hot vampire without the blood. He said he loves that. He said he would love it if she saw him at night. He said the ending of the movie is great. He said she discovered sunscreen and she's able to go out. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call to play. He said they might have the biggest library of original phony phone calls in the world. Howard said this doesn't need an explanation. He asked Richard if he wants to come in and give one.
Howard said he was watching the new Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee season with Jerry Seinfeld and Eddie Murphy. He said Eddie was talking a lot. He said Jerry got him going. Robin said she saw that Eddie is close to making a deal with Netflix for like $70 million. Howard said Eddie has said he will go back to stand up some day. He said he never has and he thinks he knows why. He said he says in order to do it he has to go back to small clubs. He said in this day and age you have no anonymity. He said he has to work out material and it's difficult these days. He said with Eddie it's even more difficult. He said you have to fail in a club so it's very hard to do all of that.
Howard said Netflix has so much money they can get someone to do something they won't do. He said Eddie is thinking about doing it now. He said it just takes $70 million. He said of course he'll do it. Robin said Eddie is like that band that won't get back together but he's the only member.
Howard said Netflix is like the Saudi Arabian King who throws a party for their kid. He said he thinks they could get Roger Waters to got Israel to play a concert. He said they just have to come up with $70 million. He said they should get Led Zeppelin back together or Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.
Howard said they showed Eddie's house on that show. He said he has a lot of money and a nice house. He said he's sure Netflix could get OJ to confess. He said they're unbelievable. Robin asked who would watch him confess. Howard said he would. He said they can get the audience. Robin said they know what people want to see.
Howard said he thinks they want the rights to Eddie's stand up from the early days. He said they might not even be able to play that stuff today. Robin said that's all politically incorrect these days. Howard said he saw Seth Rogen talking to Jerry. He said Seth did stand up for 5 years and it seemed like Jerry wasn't aware of that. He said Jerry asked Seth what his jokes were. He said Seth told him that he'd go up and talk about how Crazy Glue wasn't so crazy. Howard said he's right. He said it's just doing it's job. Howard said that's a good first joke for a guy.
Howard said he was jealous of the Eddie Murphy get. He said he thinks Netflix could get Robin to pose topless. He said he thinks $50 million would do it. Robin asked if she can't get $70 million. Howard said he thinks they're going to make that offer to her.
Howard said he remembers Netflix calling and asking him if he wanted to do something. He said he doesn't want to do another movie. He said that movie he did was such a great experience for him that he doesn't want to do another. He said they had a great team over there. He said he's been asked to be in a lot of movies but he doesn't want to do anything that wouldn't be as good as Private Parts. He said he just turned one down recently. He said Robin would be upset with him if she knew what it was.
Howard said Richard said he'd blow Ronnie on Netflix for $1 million. He said Netflix just announced that they lost some subscribers. He said they didn't grow as fast as they thought they would. He said the stock dropped and they lost $17 billion in value. He said maybe now is the time to buy that stock. He said he doesn't do well in the stock market. Robin said a lot of the stock market is emotional. Howard said it was all because they didn't meet their expectations. He said he thought when they were buying Pandora there he thought the stock would go up. It went down. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if Netflix is nervous that they're giving Eddie that kind of money. Howard said they haven't yet but he's sure they want something good. He said he can see Eddie turning that down. He said he has a lot of money and he told Jerry that he likes to just sit home and do nothing. Howard said the guy is happy. He said when he fantasizes about quitting there he wants to go to painting classes and sit around painting. He said that's what he wants to do. Howard said he loves that process of painting. He said he loves it. King said Howard is still funny. He said it's a gamble with Eddie. He said he thinks Eddie thinks he's not funny anymore. He said he thinks he's nervous about his performance. Howard said he could be right. He said he caught that vibe in that Comedians in Cars show.
Howard said the 70 million must be for multiple specials. He said it's like that Dave Chappelle stuff. He said Dave is so talented. King said it would be easier if Eddie was never out. Howard said that's what he's been saying. He said King just keeps repeating it. He said he's also known as Shampoo on some other outlet. He said that's the worst name.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she had a threesome with her husband and another girl over the weekend. She said she's 34 years old. Howard said she's breathing kind of heavy now. The caller, Sarah, said she's thinking about what happened. Howard asked if she's over weight. She said she's 5'6'' and she's about 135 pounds. She said she has children. Howard said he has to get in shape. He said he's going to Peloton today. He said he bought the bike. He said he's not sure how to use it so he has to learn.
Howard said he's going to get a lesson in how to use the bike. Robin asked if he can't figure that out. Howard said no. He said he doesn't want to end up in a live class. Robin asked how that would happen. Howard said he doesn't want to screw it up. He said unlike Gary he researches shit.
Howard said if you can go ask a human being he'd rather do that. Gary said he's going to defend him by saying he went and tried one before buying it. He said of course he should try it. Howard said he has to do the pre-recorded thing. He said he doesn't want to be seen. He said he's not Benjy.
Howard said when you buy one of these things they come and set it up for you. Robin asked if they're going to run him through it. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he has so many people helping him he doesn't know. He said they'll be fine on it. He said he has such a life that he doesn't do so much on his own.
Howard asked if they should hear this woman's sex story. Robin said if she can talk they can. Howard asked if Sarah is hot. She said she thinks she is. Howard asked who she looks like. Sarah said she has been told she looks like a young Molly Ringwald. Howard said he has to go. Howard said he's just kidding.
Howard asked where they met this chick. Sarah said she heard Brent's stories and she joined Tinder. She said her husband said it was fine. She said she started talking to this girl. She said her husband has been listening to Howard for a long time. She said he came home and was playing the show and she heard the Brent swinging stuff and asked if her husband wanted to try that. Howard said who knew a young Molly Ringwald wanted to do that. Sarah said she found this girl and they started to chat. She said she's 26 and blonde. She said she might be a little skinnier than her. She said she has nice, perky titties and a nice puss. Howard asked if Robin has a nice puss. Robin said that's what Lenny Dykstra asked.
Howard asked if she was sending naked pictures to her. Sarah said she was. She said she was looking for a girl to play with and that's what she told this woman.
Howard asked how they met up. Sarah said that they went over to her place and she had the door open for them. She said she was naked on the couch when they got there. She said the TV was on and no lights were on. She said she was sitting there playing with herself. Howard asked who she looked like. Sarah said she's not sure who she could compare her to. She said she would say she's an 8 or 9. She said she's pretty sexy. Howard asked what is going on out there. Robin said Howard is missing the parade. Howard said he's not even near the parade.
Howard asked what was on TV. Sarah said it was porn. Howard asked how old this girl was. She said she was 26. She said she's about her height. Howard asked what happens. Sarah said that she asked her to take her clothes off. She said she got a text from her asking her to do that. She said she wanted her to come in and take her clothes off and her husband can sit and watch.
Howard asked if she's pretty confident naked. Sarah said yeah. She said this woman has already seen her naked so she was okay with that. She said they had no conversation. She said there were no drinks or anything either. Howard asked if she went down on her. Sarah said the woman put a collar on her and put a leash on her. Sarah said she handcuffed her too. She said she wasn't allowed to use her hands. Howard said he's boned up. Sarah said then she was on her knees and the girl put her pussy in her face. She said she ate her pussy and then she told her to get up and sit on the couch. She said they continued to do stuff. Howard asked if she played with her nips. Sarah said she did. She said then it was her turn to get pleasured and the girl stuck her face in her pussy. She said her husband was stroking himself while this was going on.
Howard asked if she had ever been with a woman before. Sarah said she hadn't and she liked it. She said that it was pretty good. She said her husband is the best for her so no guy or girl is going to be that good.
Sarah said the other girl had a dildo and she started fucking her with that. Then they used a double dildo at the same time. She said it didn't take long for her to take the handcuffs off. Howard asked how the double dildo works. Sarah said the girl stuck it in her and then stuck it in herself too and started fucking her with the dildo in both of them. She said then they scissored. She said they were taking video and pictures of each other too.
Howard asked where she's located. She said she's in Washington. Howard asked if her husband banged the girl too. Sarah said she did. She said it was hot seeing her husband with her. She said she thought she was going to feel different. She said she liked it. She said she wanted to see him with her. Howard asked if she was threatened by her looks. Sarah said not at all. She said her husband went over to visit the woman last night. Howard asked what happens if he falls in love with her. Sarah said that's not going to happen. She said they've been together for 14 years and that's not going to happen. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Howard said she's 26 and super hot. Sarah said the woman wanted her husband to pee on her. She said she wanted her to pee on her too but she didn't do it. She said she has to warm up to that.
Howard asked what she did while all of this was going on. Sarah said she got Snapchats from them as they were doing their thing. She said that she didn't see the peeing thing. She said she talked to the other woman this morning and she was feeling kind of weird. She said she's going to come over this morning before she goes to work. Howard asked if they're into letting them listen in. Sarah said she's fine with that but she's not sure about the other woman. Robin asked if this is a 3 day adventure. Sarah said nothing happened on Sunday but yeah. She said they can keep this going too.
Robin asked if her husband knows that the woman is coming over this morning. Sarah said yes. She said she wants her to dominate her like she did on Saturday. She said she wants to be her sub today. Howard asked if she's falling in love with her. Sarah said no. She said she's just having fun. Howard asked if she's going to pee on her today. Sarah said she's not sure about that. Howard said he has to take a dump right now.
Howard asked what she'd do if she asked her to take a dump on her. Sarah said that's a hard no. Howard said Sarah has fantasized about this before. Sarah said she has. She said now that she's older she is coming out of her shell. She said you only live once. Howard said he's intrigued by her.
Howard asked who is hotter, her or the other woman. Sarah said she thinks the other girl but the other girl would say she's hotter. Howard asked if she does Peloton. Sarah laughed. Howard said he's just trying to figure out his situation.
Howard said this sounds pretty wild. Sarah said it was and she told her boss it was good when he asked how her weekend was. Howard said maybe if this shit starts going down around the 10 o'clock hour he'd like to talk to the other woman. Sarah said she'll see if she wants to talk. Howard told Gary to give her the hot line number. Howard said everyone is so sexed up.
Robin asked if it ever occurred to Howard to do this. Howard said he had some wild things when he was single but not like this. He said he'd never do this with Beth. Gary said Beth was saying she should be on Swinder to find a woman instead of on Tinder. Howard said that's what a good call sounds like just in case Bobo was wondering.
Howard said he had a couple of wild scenes. He said not even a scene. He said the wildest thing was maybe tying someone up. He said he tied someone up and they yelled at him to untie them. He said he was willing to do whatever they wanted. He said somebody did give him oral while he was making out with someone else. He said that's sort of a threesome. He said he didn't have sex with both of them. He said he ran out of the room because he was mortified.
Gary said Brent says what Howard did was soft swinging. Howard said he's no swinger. He said he gets too jealous. He said he's too into his wife. He said he'd be mortified if she made out with a girl. He said she'd run off with another woman. He said he'll get to the phony phone call after taking a break.
Robin asked if this means they have a stronger relationship or a weaker one. Howard said they'll be divorced in a year. He said that ruins every relationship. He said he doesn't care what anyone says. He said that's what happened with Fred. He said he let him fuck one other guy in the ass and he ran off. He said he worries about Brent. He said he has the wrong impression about all of this. Robin said he's living a delusion. Howard said at least Brent is a 7. He said he has that to fall back on.
Brent came in and said that he has full permission to goof on him if something happens with their relationship. Howard said she'll fall for someone or Brent will fall for someone. He said that's what's going to happen. He said his wife is ready to leave him for JD's wife. Brent said the point of swinging is not falling in love. Brent said he's not falling in love with anyone else.
Howard said Katelyn got them kicked out of a bar this weekend. Brent said she was fanning her thong because she was hot. He said a security guard got them kicked out because she showed her thong. He said he was a dick about the whole thing. He said it was the security guard in the bar. Brent said there are a lot of successful swinger relationships. He said Howard is right a lot of the time but he thinks this is fine. Howard said he's playing with fire. He said just calm down.
Howard said he has Religious Brent from the Future on the phone. He took the call and fake Brent was talking about how Katelyn does leave him and he joins the clergy. Howard asked what happened. Fake Brent said he has the lord now. He said Katelyn ended up leaving him. Howard spent a minute with him before letting him go.
Howard asked if he was fingering his wife at the bar. Brent said he was. Howard said no wonder he got kicked out. Brent said he was sticking his finger and rubbing it along her pussy and smelling his finger. Howard said he did that kind of thing at 7. Brent said she was trying to order a drink. Brent said he was just having a good time. Howard said this guy is almost 50 and he's doing this. Brent said he's 48. Howard said they'll be divorced in a year. Brent said they'll be fine. Howard went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he can get his name in there for the Peloton when Howard is done with it. Howard said he just said that to Gary. He said he knows he won't use it. He said at least he has high hopes for himself. He said he has to do something. The caller said he knows how that goes. He said he just can't afford a Peloton.
Howard said Gary said you can buy a used one and save about $500. He said then you don't have the warranty though. Howard said he'll send the bike to this guy next week when he's done with it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the David Spade interview was a masterpiece. Howard said he was supposed to go to dinner with Spade last night. He said he was catatonic after the show though. He said he watched 3 episodes of Comedians in Cars and then another episode of Love Island. The caller said his interviews are incredible. Howard thanked him for that.
Robin asked if he watched The Bachelorette. Howard said that's something he and Beth watch together. He said he didn't see it. Robin said he's in for a good one. Robin said she hates it when Chris comes on and says ''Welcome Bachelor Nation.'' Howard said he's part of that. Robin said they have 2 nights of The Bachelorette coming in next week. Howard said he may have to quit his job.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Brent is playing marriage roulette with his marriage. He said he wouldn't screw it up by doing what they're doing. Robin said she's not sure why he's doing what he's doing in front of his friends.
Fred did his Bobo Puppet thing saying that Bobo just called in repeating what he just heard on the show. Howard said he was letting him slide today. He said he felt bad for him. Fred played a song parody about Bobo after that. Robin said she's not sure why he feels bad for Bobo. Howard said he just let him be a regular caller today. Robin said they bust their balls too. Howard said he didn't want it to turn into a 15 minute segment.
Howard played a new phony phone call that Richard made to an museum. He was asking about an Abe Lincoln turd that their grandfather had passed down to them. He wanted to get it appraised. The woman said she'd have to turn that over to their appraiser. She said they have some Abe Lincoln stuff there but nothing like this. Richard said hey have it preserved and it even has a top hat on it. Richard asked if she can let the manager know that they have the turd and there's a corn kernel in it. Another person got on the line and said they're not interested in it. Richard asked if they know of anyone else who would be interested in it. The guy said no so Richard smashed it and lowered his price. The guy said he had to go and hung up on him.
Howard said that's Richard and his Ethel character. He said he doesn't like that character. He said it disturbed the hell out of him. He said it's demented.
Howard said he has a lot of feedback about the show. He read through some feedback about David Spade's interview yesterday. He had some feedback about the discussion they had about OJ and the Twitter war he's in with him.
Howard said one listener thinks he could take OJ in a fight. Howard said he's not sure about that. Robin said she doesn't think OJ looks like he's out of shape or depleted. Howard said a lot of people were weighing in on Collective Soul. Howard said they did a song they put out on the app. He said that they are great live. He read some feedback about the song.
Howard said people thought he was an asshole for thinking Memet should have named the beaver after Baba Booey instead of Memet. Howard said some people thought he was right though. Howard read some of that feedback.
Howard said he has some feedback about the Bobo puppet. He said they can't get enough of that puppet even though they're sick of real Bobo. Howard read through some of that. That led to Fred working his Bobo puppet for a short time. He had Bobo bringing up stuff they have already discussed on the show today.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks Katelyn isn't valued by Brent. Howard said he missed some of that statement when her phone cut out. The caller repeated herself and said that Brent's actions at the bar prove that she's just a piece of meat to Brent. Howard said Brent would just say she's a square. Fred played a clip of Brent saying ''Shut up you square.'' The caller said she's just bait for Brent because he's so ugly that he needs her around to attract other women. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he has Bella Thorne there. He said she's got a book out called ''The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray.''
Howard said he's a fan of Bella's. She said she knew that a little bit. Howard said he loved that movie she did called ''Midnight Sun.'' He said he and his wife really dug it. Bella said that makes her happy. Howard asked if she made it to be friends with him. Bella said she did not necessarily. She said she did hear that he was talking about it. Howard said he likes movies with young, beautiful people falling in love.
Howard said Patrick Schwarzenegger was in that movie. He said he had something to prove in it. Bella said people do put him in that box. She said that if you're raised on set and that's your whole life then maybe you want to do that. She said that's not surprising.
Howard said if his dad was Arnold Schwarzenegger he wouldn't want the competition. He said he'd want to be a doctor or something.
Howard asked if she was weirded out when they cast him as her love interest. Bella said not at all. She said he came in to test and she was there. She said he was so great. She said the director had them tell things they've lost stories. She said she saw another side of Pat. She said he really is Charlie in the movie. Howard said he's a lucky guy.
Howard asked if Arnold came by the set. Bella said he did. Howard said Patrick must not have wanted that. Bella said it was a bit of a distraction for the crew but not for Patrick. She said he was proud to have them there.
Howard asked if you have a guy like that on set do you fall in love with him to be able to fall in love on screen. Bella said actors in general have to plug into that. She said you have to have a chemistry. She said you have to work on it. She said even if you don't have the chemistry you have to have dinner and get to know each other more at dinner so it comes off on screen.
Howard asked if she has ever been in a movie with someone who has bad breath. Bella said mint makes her nauseous. She said she doesn't give a fuck what you eat as long as it's not mint. She said she will throw up. She said she has to tell guys before they have a scene not to have mint.
Bella said she had a procedure done where they had to go in to her stomach. Howard said he thinks she has stomach issues because of the pressure she was under on that Disney show. He said she had to support her family. He said that's a ridiculous way to grow up. He said she had financial pressure on her to support her family. He said it's ridiculous. Bella said they all worked. She said they all worked hard going to auditions and not going to school. Howard said she started modeling at 6 weeks old. Bella said yes.
Howard said he went in and did a photo shoot recently and they wanted him to pose with a baby. He said they hired a baby and the woman just put the baby in his arms. He said he might be a maniac and the woman doesn't know who he is. He said that must be what she was doing. Bella said yeah. She said she wonders if the flash bulbs from her being an infant affected her vision. She said her vision isn't great. She said her hearing is perfect though.
Howard asked if she liked working on the Disney shows. Bella said with Disney she did feel pushed. She said she didn't want to be on Disney. She said she watched horror growing up so that's what she liked. She said comedy has to be something she really loves. She said it wasn't her thing. She said she was on Big Love on HBO and that made her happy but it wasn't enough to keep things afloat. She said she had no choice so she had to do Disney.
Howard said she didn't feel like she had a choice because it pays really well and she couldn't afford to turn it down. Howard said she didn't have that option. He said she had to pay the rent, literally.
Howard said her dad died when she was 9. Bella said her mom was in debt. Howard said her mom took them out to get jobs in acting after that. Bella said they were working in acing before that. She said they grew up in modeling. She said they did commercials.
Howard asked where they grew up. Bella said it was all over Florida. Howard said it must sound crazy to want to act in Florida. Bella said it's not that crazy. She said she was in school and she would try to audition and she'd get called back and then she was not coached and she'd get called back. She said she thinks there is something in acting that you have to bring yourself. She said you have to shape a character with being natural. She said you don't just want to say a line out of your mouth. She said you want to sound like it's something you want to say. She said that's why coaching didn't work for her.
Howard said he's think that Bella would have a built in movie base with the 20 million followers she has on Instagram. Bella said she is working a lot. She said she is on a movie right now. She said she flew in from Oklahoma. She said she has to go back and do a 16 hour day after this. She said then she's off for a week. She said she's doing Southland. She said Jake Manly is in that. She said he completely changed his look for this movie. She said he's going right back to make his Netflix show after that. Howard said you have to go make a bunch of dough. Bella said it's making art for sure. She said when it comes to working 17 hours a day you want to do something that you fucking love.
Howard asked if someone came to her and asked her to do a big super hero movie and it's a ton of dough, do you sell your should to the devil. Bella said it depends on what it is. She said she is signed on to a project that has something like that. She said it's dark and beautiful. She said it's a comic book kind of thing. Howard said he loves comic books. Bella said she does too. She said she signed off of 3 studio films this year. She said she can see that they're going to be indie like films. She said that indieness makes the director focus on the heart of the story. She said she would rather do that and have it bought by a studio. Howard asked where they get shown anymore. Bella said where it's important. She said people aren't going to the theater anymore. She said it gets picked up by the streaming services. She said that they're appreciated more that way.
Howard asked what Bella's favorite comic book is. Bella said that's hard. Howard asked for just one. She said she loves Hack Slash. She said it's a girl. Howard wasn't familiar with that. Bella said she was obsessed with X-Man growing up. Howard said she must want to be in that. Bella said she would like to be in one with Josh Boon directing. She said she knows Josh very well. Howard asked why she doesn't get in it. Bella said it's already done. She said it's clearly not meant to be. She said she can respect that. She said she thinks she might not be able to do those indie films if she gets into something like that. She said she wants to do something dark that really speaks. She said people are way less likely to put you in that if you're in a movie like that. She said she already had to live down that Disney thing.
Howard said Bella is putting her whole life out there on social media and that's how she gets 20 million followers. He asked if that can fuck things up too. Bella said if you read her book and you don't like her after reading it you won't like her acting. Howard said he read it. He said it's called ''The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray.'' He said he's a voyeur and he likes to look into people's lives. Howard said it appears she took her journal and wrote them down. He said he always wanted to see that kind of thing in a journal. He said his wife was a big journaler. He said he wanted to read her stuff but she won't allow it. He said he wants to read her journal pages. Howard said that's what Bella has done here.
Bella said there's a lot missing from the book so she's going to add it in the third printing. Howard read a quote from the book about her mother and she apologizes for that in the book as well. Howard asked why put her through that in the book. Bella said it's because it's her truth. She said they're working on mending so much of what is broken. She said it's small things to big things. She said her mom was her muse in a sense. She said they're close now. Howard said she paints her as a liar. Bella said she can be manipulative. Howard said she's screaming at her in the book. He said he felt bad for her. Bella said so many things are hard to come to terms with for both of them. She said it's everyone involved. Howard asked if she was a young mom. Bella said she was and life can fuck you up mentally. She said that you can have a terrible decision and a good one and you don't choose any.
Howard asked Bella about being abused by a guy when she was young and if she holds that against her mom. Bella said she's angry about a lot of things. She said her love note to her mom is in the book. She said there are things that she has to think about and she goes back to that in her head. Howard asked if she sees herself in the mirror and thinks she's ugly. Bella said no. She said she thinks she's attractive. Howard said she's hot. Bella thanked him. She said it's hard work and you have to look in the mirror and you see what's bugging you and don't think about the good things. Bella said it took her a long time but she doesn't think she's ugly anymore. She said she can look in the mirror and see her eyes and say she likes them, her cheek bones and her nose. She said people can tell you that something doesn't look good and you can look at them and see that they are good.
Howard asked what she sees that she doesn't like. Bella said she has to tell herself she likes those things. She said if you're raised thinking you're not beautiful you have to tell yourself that you do like these things. Howard asked who told her she wasn't beautiful. Bella said life and circumstances. She said that you read comments about yourself and how can you not think that stuff. She said she doesn't read that stuff. Bella said growing up your mother is put into this situation and she is all alone and you have all of these people giving you the devil's hand. She said it's good and really bad too.
Howard asked what she's saying. He said someone or a group of people have made her feel like shit. Bella said she was told she looked like Frankenstein on a show she was on. Howard asked who that was. Bella said she doesn't want to say the network. Howard asked if someone called her that at Disney. Bella said it was said in email and she was shown those emails. Bella said it was so beyond hurtful. She said she was a young girl and it's so hurtful to see that. She said you're looking at a young girl and they tear you down. She said they have a hate for young girls. She said it's really saddening. Howard asked if they are cruel to her because they're jealous. Bella said that's surface level and stupid bullshit you hear in school.
Howard asked why someone higher up there has to say something like that. Bella said it just happens so often in this industry that they don't think so much of it. She said they just say it and don't hear the effects. He said she had a meeting about it with that person. She said it was hurtful as fuck. Bella said Jessica Chastain told her that she had to do something. She said she loves Jessica so much. She said they did a movie together a while ago. Howard asked if she gave her advice. Bella said she did. She said she can feel so walked on and mentally beaten down. She said she didn't sign up for that. She said if she's not there on set having fun she doesn't need to be there.
Howard asked what happened when she went to the executive who said she looked like Frankenstein. She said she was told it wasn't true but she had the emails. She said they claim it wasn't meant in that way. She said then they think she's so sensitive. She said if this shit happens all the time it gets exhausting. Howard asked if she feels like this has gone on her whole life. Bella said she does. She said she feels so much older than she is. She said she has studied people around her and that gives her an older mature mindset. She said she knows so many things about building sets and machinery and things like that. She said she knows a lot of different things that don't have to do with the industry because you learn it going into movies. She said she loves to pay attention because she never went to school. She said she feels she has to go out of her way to learn.
Howard asked if she feels stupid inside when she didn't go to school. Bella said she feels like an idiot and it makes her so mad. Howard said he grew up in a place where they didn't teach very well. He said he had to develop his own tools to learn.
Howard asked what's going on between her and her mom. He said he sees a lot of anger in the book about her mom. He said he thinks she got pissed about having to support the family. He said she says there is something else going on there. Bella said she's upset about so many things. She said the book would be shorter if she wrote about the things she's happy about. She said she's very upset that she didn't get a chance to go to school. She said she didn't feel protected by society either. She said when she grew up it was okay to hit your kids. She said that's not okay. She said she was hit when she did something wrong. She said they got whooped by a belt. She said it was so normal for her dad to do that. Howard said that is something she should be angry about. Howard said his mom would hit him with a hanger at times but not very often. He said his dad never hit him.
Howard asked what she would get hit for. Bella said that they once opened Dani's doll collection and they got in trouble for that. She said that was one time that sticks in her head. Howard asked if her dad called her over. Bella said it was mother and father who were very upset. She said it wasn't a good time. Howard asked if they could have just talked to them. Bella said that they never learned to love. She said she never learned to love properly. She said she has to reteach herself to do that. Howard asked if she is in therapy. Bella said she is not. She said she has been doing that herself. She said she has been able to teach herself to love herself. She said people can tell you that you're ugly but you don't have to believe them.
Howard asked if Bella ever goes home and just screams. Bella said she has done that into a pillow. She said that was when she was younger. She said she felt so mentally bad that she was going to pop.
Howard read another quote where she said that her happiness is under someone's shoe and calls them a cuntrag. Howard said that's very angry. Bella said this shit has made her who she is. She said that brings a lot to her acting. Howard asked if that's really society or her mother. Bella said that's society. She said that she just wants to be happy but they have to tear her down. She said she can be happy. Howard asked if it has to be a boyfriend or girlfriend to make her happy. Bella said she is working on all of that. Howard said she was in love with this guy Mod Sun when she wrote the book. Howard said it seems like he was the one for her. Bella said Mod wanted to get married for his birthday and she wanted to have a little ceremony. She said she doesn't believe in contractual stuff anyway. She said she gets it when you have kids. Howard said she's going to meet a guy. Bella said that when you sign a contract that gives you no choice. Howard said she's only 21 right now. Bella said you have to choose to go back to someone every day. Howard said someone will rock her world and she'll get married. Bella said she'll get super married. Bella said she had a ceremony for Mod's birthday. Howard asked if she's still in love with Mod. Bella said she is very hurt. She said there is a lot of love still there. Howard asked who this fucking guy is. He asked if he cheated. Bella said no. She said she doesn't really want to talk about it because he loves the press. She said he loves to lie his head off and speak to people about it.
Howard asked what they broke up over. Bella said it's the most ridiculous thing ever. She said she had to go to Coachella to do a photo shoot and she was gone for like 1 hour. She said she had to get in and out and that was it. She said Mod was going through a lot at the time. She said it's so stupid though. She said they were together for 2 years. Howard said this is work she had to do. Bella said she didn't think he was really upset with her over that but it was. She said he texetd her and broke up with her. She said she was like ''What?''
Howard asked if she calls and he picks up on her. She said he does. She said she's friends with all of her ex's too. She said that she's proud of that. Bella said she thinks that he wanted to go out of his way not to be her friend. She said she and Mod will be friends. She said this was so stupid. She said she thinks that he'll hear about this and he'll get over it. Howard said give him his number and he'll straighten it out.
Bella said they have talked about so much good shit today and they'll only pick up on the drama in the media. She said there is so much real and deep shit that they talked about today that won't get picked up. Bella said that Mod will love it when they pick it up.
Howard said he sat outside and read her whole book. He said she wrote this. He read a quote about how when she makes love visions haunt her. Howard said being in love is the greatest feeling. He said when you make love he's taking that as her having physical love and she's feeling horrible. Bella said she's thinking about molestation. She said that she's also talking about it in a poetry sense. She said she's so worried about anything good happening to her. She said she is so attracted to things that beat her down. She said she has to break the cycle.
Howard said this guy Mod is someone she trusted. Howard said she is back in that because he broke her trust. Bella said one thing he did was call her mom to talk about the book. Bella said they've been trying to talk about he called her and told her stories that she told him. She said that he took a chance away from her for her to tell her mom herself. She said that her mom called her at Coachella and she answered on speaker and she was so upset with her. She said that Mod took a lot away from her with that. Howard said that's cruel. Bella said it is. She said they were dating for 2 years and then he did that to her.
Howard said he doesn't know this guy but he want to visit her mom? Bella said he did. She said that he got into a conversation and told her mom stuff that she hadn't told her. Bella said he did. Howard said that's heavy. Bella said she doesn't want to talk shit. She said she and Mod had a lot of love there. She said this book was something she wrote with him there. She said it's really upsetting that they're talking about this. She said it's weird that people know this now. She said if he's watching this then he can stop now.
Howard said it's really hard to look another person in the eye and admit your insecurities. Bella said it's like throwing it in your face. She said she can't forget about what he did so it's going to take her a long time to get over that. Howard asked how you can get over what he did. Bella said you can but it's going to take a long time. She said she's not sure why he's so hurt so it must be a bigger issue.
Howard read another quote from the book where Bella talked about someone molesting her. Bella said that she has to add some things to the book that she left out. She said she is going to add that to the third printing. She said that she's talking about a guy at the police station because the cop was making her feel like a victim. She said she's going to read the pages that are missing. She said the whole first page is missing from the book.
Howard asked who this fuck face was that molested her. She said she was like 6 years old at the time. Howard said being in a relationship with her must make it tough and you have to be really sensitive. Bella said it has to be tough. She said you have to be really sensitive. She said if you make a joke and then you realize it's not funny then you can see it in your face. Bella said that if she was raped right now she would fight for her life. She said she has so much anger that she would kill someone if they did that to her. Howard said good. Bella said then she'd have to deal with that whole thing of taking someone's life. Howard asked if she wants to kill the guy who raped her. Bella said she grew up in a way that it was normalized for her. Bella said it makes her mad that she wasn't able to handle it. She said at 14 she had to stay up at night with her door locked.
Howard asked if she told he mom. Bella said no. Bella said that she thought it was obvious since he was in her room. She said she should have known. She said that poor Dani had to know about it since she was so young. She said her sister is like her other half. She said she'd be lost without her. Howard asked if she's in the industry. Bella said she is a DJ.
Howard asked if she's upset that this guy is still out there. Bella said she is. She said she has been trying to forget all of this. Howard asked if she has ever confronted the guy. Bella said when she was getting older they both knew what had gone on. She said they were still hanging out and they were around each other. She said he moved out a week after she turned 18. She said that he moved out after she left. She said that he was hanging out with her brother playing video games. She said you don't look at them like a monster but like someone you've known your whole life. She said it's really frustrating.
Howard said that she's beating herself up for not going to the police. Bella said you beat yourself up over many things. She said you let it be okay because you don't put your foot down and stop it.
Howard asked what happened when her sister went to the police. Bella said this is really complicated. She said the story has a lot of layers on it on both sides. She said she doesn't want to tell the story because her family would have to be there to give their side. She said there are so many sides to see. Howard said her sister did go to the police and she didn't get satisfaction. Bella said that's right. Howard said he gets why the book is so angry. Bella said it is angry.
Howard said that he saw Bella on social media talking about Whoopi Goldberg after she said something about her nude pictures being hacked. Bella said the message Whoopi was giving was not the right message. She said that they're trying to change the world and this opinion was not cool. She said that you don't tell someone not to do something just because something might happen. She said she can't stop being a human being just because someone might do something. Howard said he thinks that she's saying that she was the victim and she doesn't want to be blamed when she's the victim. Robin said that's what she said when she did the story. Bella said that she loved Whoopi and she didn't know why she was doing this. She said you take pictures to show love and receive love. She said that you're not just doing it for no reason.
Howard gave Bella another plug for her book. He said that it's available now. Howard said he thought it was great that she shared the quotes that celebrities gave to her for her book. He said that they have quotes about it before they read the book. He said he loves that she left that stuff in there. Bella said she didn't have the whole book done yet so she asked for quotes and they said they hadn't read it yet. She said she wanted to do quote pages but she sent them like 6-8 poems. s
Howard said maybe she should have hooked up with Patrick Schwarzenegger. Bella said he's so funny. She said she was in a relationship at the time and Pat was getting into one at the same time. She said they never even really flirted on set. She said they were friends before they even did it. She said they didn't have that inclination with each other.
Howard said Bella has a lot of friends from Disney. He said there are so many big stars from Disney. He said it's a good breeding ground for actors. He said it must be a good thing. Bella said it depends on what you want to do in life. She said she is very happy where she is. She said she loves her life and the people she's surrounded by. She said she's happy mentally and she's excited to grow. She said she's good but... She asked Howard to ask her again. Howard asked if she could go back in a time machine. Bella said she wants to win an Oscar. She said she's afraid that she will never get it because she wants it so bad. She said she'll figure it out and get there. She said she will learn it like she's learned everything else in life.
Howard asked if he can give her advice. He said fuck the Oscar. He said when he got into radio he just wanted to be good at his job. He said he feels the Oscar is her seeking approval. He said the thing that aggravates her is these trolls. He said the Oscar is just another blow job acceptance thing. He said you have the ability and just go out and enjoy your work. He asked why she needs it. Bella paused and said she doesn't know. Howard said see? Howard said worrying about this acne on her face is just another way to distract herself from thinking about this asshole who molested her. He said he felt bad when he read her book. He said he has anger too. He said he can relate to it in her book. He said she should go to therapy. Bella said that's why she has dates in the book. She said she wanted to put it in context with what was going on in her life.
Howard asked Bella if she's describing her life as not knowing right from wrong. Bella said she doesn't know that stuff because of the way she was raised. She said she's not sure how to learn. Howard said he can tell her. He said go to a top notch shrink. Bella said that's a mental stability thing. Howard asked if she is medicated. Bella said she's not but she does smoke weed. She said she uses it a lot. Howard asked if she smoke this morning. Bella said of course. She said she can turn into the cuntiest girl if she doesn't get and smoke weed. Howard ask if she can't control her anger. Bella said it's her anxiety. She said she'd like to be a mogul. She said she's planting seeds for that so by the time she's 26 she's a full on businesswoman. Howard asked her to give him more on that. He said she has 20 million followers so her main business is feeding that. Bella said it's a huge job. Howard said she has to think about that stuff all day. He asked how many she does a day. Bella said she dos one a day but lately with the book she's doing more like 2 or 3 a day. She said she thinks a lot about this stuff.
Howard asked Bella if she has a sales team working for her. Bella said she does it all herself. She said she will email people and go to them. She said she'll ask if they want to have a collaboration. She said she likes to do natural integrations. She said that it has to work with her brand and work right into it. Bella said she loves Coca Cola and she has to have it with her meal. She said she's addicted. She said she would like to be the face of the brand. She said if she is doing that then she's saying drink something that's not healthy. She said she can't do that. Howard said Coca Cola then owns a piece of you too. He said they can tell you what to write or not write. Bella said they would have to know her before that.
Howard asked what she endorses that she likes. Bella said her skin care line. She said that she has good skin now. Bella said she only uses her own stuff now. She said if she showed Howard the photos of her you wouldn't think it was the same person.
Howard asked if Accutane worked. Bella said she tried it but it didn't work for her. She said that it actually made it worse for her. She said it has caused her a lot of problems. She said that it should be taken off the market. She said it only helps you aesthetically. Howard said he knows it's worked for a lot of people. Bella said she had to stop dancing when she was using that stuff. She said that her high school boyfriend used it and he had to stop playing baseball. She said he was in so much pain from it. Howard said people thought she was a heroin addict when she was on it. Bella said she had to stop wearing makeup over her acne because it makes it worse. She said they would take pictures of her and then post them in the media. She said it made her so mad for so long. Bella said her line of acne stuff isn't out yet. She said they're still working on the formula.
Bella said that she was told this stuff would change her life. She said she didn't believe it but by the time she went back to her it had changed her life. She said she's so excited that they'll be able to change people's lives.
Howard said he knows she has to get back to work but he has to ask about this being in a relationship with 2 other people. He asked how you share that with someone else. Howard said she said she was in a relationship with a thruple. Bella said what she said was that she and Tanna and her and Mod were couples. She said that someone put that word Thruple in her mouth. Howard said that she must have thought that she'd lose one or the other. Bella said they were dating separately. She said that it was quite interesting. Howard said then the three of them got together. Bella said the three of them became comfortable with each other. She said that things got complicated. Howard said that's why he's asking for wisdom here. He said she says she can be in love with a woman or a guy. He asked if the jealousies pop up. Bella said right now she's in a relationship where that is that boundary. She said she and Mod talked about being in an open relationship. She said that was from the very beginning. Bella said she wanted to be open and in a long term relationship.
Howard said she's in a relationship now. Bella said that's Ben. She said he's coming there. She said he's flying in. She said they fly to see each other. She said they move things around to make it so they can visit. Howard asked if she is in love. Bella said they do say they love each other. She said that love is long term. She said that you have to be able to fight and mend again and again. Howard asked how long it's been since they saw each other. Bella said they go 2 weeks. She said she's very sensitive and if she's crying she has to deal with it alone. She said if Ben is working she has to deal with it herself.
Howard asked if she's easily to be in a relationship with. Bella said no. Howard asked if she's worth it. Bella said she thinks so. Howard said he's happy to hear that.
Howard said Bella has said a lot today. He said he has to give a shout out to her dog Tampon. Bella said she calls her Mommy. Howard asked if she likes her name. Bella said she doesn't think so. She said she calls her Mama and she loves that name. She said now she just calls her mommy now. Howard asked what the best weed is if he's Bella Thorne. Bella said she likes edibles when she can't sleep. Howard said smoking weed is instant. Bella said it's also the habit. She said she only hand grinds her own weed Forbidden Flowers. She said it's grown in a glass house. She said if she smokes indoors she gets a sore throat. She said that she has to smoke outside. Howard said he loves experts on weed. He was laughing ago but all of that. Bella said she'll give Howard their CBD strain. She said this stuff is euphoric.
Howard said he heard she can out smoke Snoop Dogg. She said that he says she can keep up with him.
Howard asked how much she smokes a day. Bella said she doesn't like how much she smokes so she won't say. She said she's constantly smoking. Howard asked if she gets high on set. He asked if she was high in Midnight Sun. Bella said she loves that Howard loves that movie so much. She asked if that's the only movie of her's that he's seen. Howard said he thinks so. He said he wants to see good looking people. He said he doesn't like this direction of ugly people being in movies. He said he doesn't want to see people who look like him. Bella said he's not ugly. Robin said he has to learn to look in the mirror and see the good things like Bella does. Bella said that's his insecurity shooting out of his mouth.
Howard said if he was in that movie Midnight Sun he'd love to be able to hang out with her at night. He said that would be great. Bella said she doesn't get to go out in the sun. She said she can't imagine having that choice being taken away from you. She said her poem Sunshine comes from that in the book. She said she sot of wrote that from Katie's perspective in the book.
Howard asked if she can smoke as much as Snoop that's crazy. Bella said she smoked just before she came in there. Howard said they could smell it in the hall. Bella said that you wonder what the real Bella is like. Howard said he wants to know how much she smokes a day. Bella said she's not answering.
Howard gave Bella some plugs for her book. He said she thinks she's running out of time even though she's only 21. He said she wants to be a mogul and an Oscar winner. Howard said she has a lot of goals. Bella said she wants to change a lot of things.
Howard asked if Bella would talk to Whoopi if she was out on the street. Bella said she would ask her why she said what she did. She mentioned that she doesn't drive. Howard wondered if that has to do with her dad dying on a motorcycle. Bella said it's a responsibility that she doesn't want. She said she has an assistant that will drive her around. Howard said she's avoiding growing up by doing that. Howard said he really has to end this. He said he's getting the hi sign out there. Howard gave her another plug and wrapped up before going to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he told Bella that he's 36 during the break and she didn't flinch. He said when he was her age he didn't think much about how much older people were. He said anyone over 30 was old to him. Howard said that was a very revealing interview. He said it's hard stuff to talk about. He said that she was victimized at a very young age. He said the closest they've come to that is Fred. He said he was glad Bella was there. He said she gave them so much time. He said they just had a 2 hour conversation. Robin said she didn't know what time it was.
Howard asked Robin to give them some news. Fred played a song parody featuring Ham Hands Bill as El Chapo. Howard said he heard that last night and wondered what song that was supposed to be. He said he can't hold a tune. He said it was Bon Jovi's ''It's My Life'' that he was trying to sing.
Robin started her news talking about how she was watching ABC News and how athletic shoes are not supplied by the military. Robin said when these guys are over in Afghanistan and they have to stay in shape and need shoes they are not replaced. Robin said a soldier wrote his mom a letter asking for some sneakers. Robin said he told her the conditions over there and the family started a thing called sneakers for soldiers and now shoes companies are providing shoes for our soldiers. Howard said most of our taxes go to the military so they should have shoes. Robin said they want to have a parade but wont give them sneakers. Howard said don't get him started on that parade. He said that money should go to shoes. Robin said that's why she hates that term ''Thank you for your service.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said thank you for your service Robin. He said that interview with Bella was something. Howard said talking about that stuff is not easy. He said if you think about using your kid in that manner to be in show business he'd take a hard look at it. He said there's nothing wrong with acting in the school play and stuff but think about it. He said Bella seems like a genuine and sweet woman and he liked what Robin was saying to her.
Robin read a story about Dan Le Batard who is a sports commentator. Robin said that the sports channels are trying to stay out of political debates. She said that she'll tune over to take her mind off of politics. Howard said he tries to listen to that stuff but he doesn't get why they give a fuck about that stuff. Robin said this Dan Le Batard wasn't able to keep his mouth shut about Trump. Robin said he talked about the President the other day. She had some audio for Howard to play. Dan talked about how the President is dividing our country with the racist statements he's been making. Howard said his grandparents came there as refugees. He said he loves this country and he never could have had a career like he's had in any other country. He said when he sees refugees being diminished it's not right. He said Obama deported 3 million people too but he did it in a humane way. He said when you say ''Send her back'' that is so fucked up. He said if you go back and look at your lineage you'll see you probably wouldn't be here if they didn't let refugees in. He said people come here legally and then people tell you to ''go back'' and it's just not right. He said ''send her back'' is the worst thing for our president to say. He said we are a country and a nation. He said you can't say that. He said it's just getting out of hand. He said that rally looked like a Nazi rally. He said not everyone can come here. He said we know that. He said no one is suggesting that we just open our borders. He said no one is suggesting that. Robin said no one is fixing the problem either. She said the politicians just argue about it. Robin said people like to work you up to do something that might not be in your best interest. Howard said he misses the old Donald Trump who came in there and rated women on their looks. He said he would rate women from all countries.
Howard said he has Melania Trump on the phone to defend Donald. He picked up but fake Melania wasn't there. Howard did a live commercial read instead.
Robin had more audio of Dan Le Batard talking about Trump on ESPN. Howard said he likes that range he has. He was getting up there pretty high when he was talking. Robin said he took the day off yesterday after his rant. Robin said people assumed he was suspended but they're saying that he took it off voluntarily. Robin said hopefully he'll be back today.
Robin read a story about the Dallas Cowboys franchise being worth $5 billion. Howard said he wouldn't want to be the owner of a team where guys are getting brain damage from playing a game.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a compelling interview with Bella. The caller asked if he's going to do a book signing. Howard said maybe he will. He said maybe he'll just head over there with Bella.
Robin read a story about how Al Franken regrets resigning from the senate. Howard said he loves Al Franken. He said the guy was such a good senator. He said he took it so seriously and he thought it was so fantastic. Howard said the guy cared. He said now he regrets it and he's sorry he's going through this angst. He said he thinks he's a good man. Robin said there are 7 senators who are upset they urged him to leave. Howard said he would tell him to run again. Robin said that's what she's thinking this should lead toward. Robin said let him run again. Robin said Senator Gillibrand is one who was for him resigning and she is standing behind what she did. She said that it has cost her some hefty donors. She's standing by her decision.
Robin read a story about how this Trump tweeting stuff is still in the news. Robin said they are pulling out old video of some of The Squad. Robin said Rashida Tlaib was at a Trump rally in 2016 and she was protesting and she was dragged out. Someone yelled out ''Get a job'' as she was being dragged out and now she's a congresswoman.
Robin read a story about John McCain handling things differently when someone made some statements about President Obama at a rally. Robin had some audio of McCain talking about how Obama is a decent person and you don't have to be scared of him being President. McCain was very calm and said he's a decent man who he just has some disagreements with. Howard said he was a great man.
Robin said the movie she's been waiting for is coming out on Friday. She said it's called ''Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.'' Robin said that they say that crew members were told not to make eye contact with Leo DiCaprio. Howard said maybe it didn't come from him. He said lets not do an Al Franken on him. He said they should do an investigation first. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Great Britain getting a new Prime Minister today. She had some audio of the new Prime Minister talking about what they want to do about this Brexit problem they have.
Robin read a story about Robert Mueller coming to the capital today and testifying for the House tomorrow. Robin said Trump said he wasn't going to watch it but now he's saying he may watch some of it. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that.
Robin read a story about a 3 year old who fell out of a window on a cruise ship. Robin said she can't imagine how a family comes together after something like that. She said her thoughts are with them. She said they are basically blaming the cruise ship. Howard asked what you do on a cruise after something like that happens. Robin said she can't imagine. Howard said it's crazy to be stuck somewhere like that. He said maybe they air lift them off.
Robin read a story about a bunch of tainted alcohol being confiscated in Costa Rica. Robin said a bunch of people have died down there since the beginning of June. Robin said 30,000 bottles of alcohol were confiscated. Robins said these aren't bootleg but brand name alcohol. Howard asked if it's sabotage. Robin said it could be. She said she's staying put for now.
Robin read a story about how people might be exposed to flesh eating bacteria at the beaches. Robin read about a guy who was exposed at Turtle Bay in Texas recently. Robin said he's 78 years old and he died this month. Robin said his daughter is wondering what happened since they've been going there for years. Robin said another woman got an infection at a water park.
Robin said there's a new term they're using called a Crisis Manager. Robin said Bill Cosby had one of those. Robin said R. Kelly has one too. Robin said that guy resigned yesterday after there was a controversy over something he said. He said he wouldn't leave his kids with anyone accused of sexually abusing a child. Robin said he has apologized and said he would leave his daughter with R. Kelly because he believes he's innocent.
Robin read a story about Art Neville passing away at the age of 81.
Robin read a story about Bachelor live coming to a theater near you. Robin said Ben Higgins will be moderating this tour. Howard said oh good.
Robin read a story about the man who started the storming of Area 51 movement has come out and said it was a joke so don't do it. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:35am.
Howard started the show talking about being there at SiriusXM Pandora. Robin said they're working on the elevators there and someone said they're trying to install that long name on the doors. Howard said they keep adding names to the company.
Howard said he was reading a fucked up article last night. He said he had trouble sleeping. He said his mind starts going when he's trying to sleep. He said his wife told him to just go to sleep. He said he was reading about how fucked up the Dutch are. He said they live over in Dutch Land or wherever. Fred played Sal saying ''Ira-land'' from yesterday's show. Howard said he thinks the Amish are Dutch. He said he's so confused.
Howard said the Dutch do something called The Dropping. He said if you don't write a movie about this you're wasting your time. He said over there they drop off their 11-12 year old kids in the woods in the middle of the night and they don't tell them where they are. He said then they have to figure out how to get home. He said they think this is a rite of passage for kids over there. He said it's the wackiest thought process to think they should be able to find their way home. Howard said they should try this with Benjy.
Howard said some kids die on the highway when they end up there trying to get home. He said now they have a rule where they have to have the kids in an orange vest. He said one guy put his kid out there with a blindfold on. He said a cop pulled this guy over and asked what he was doing. He said he had 4 blindfolded kids in the back. The cop let him go because they were doing this Dropping thing.
Howard said it's great to have good parents. He said it would be nice if they just took their kids out there to teach them how to get home. Robin said that's what Boy Scouts does. Howard said this sounds really scary.
Robin said they get scared when a cat gets lost and finds its way home. Howard said he was reading about that in the NY Times. He said that paper is the best.
Howard said he was watching The Bachelorette last night and he was upset about it. He said this is what he lays in bed thinking about.
Howard said he was thinking about this guy Luke P. He said imagine being on this show trying to get the love of this woman. He said you kind of know within the first couple of dates who you're really interested in. He said not necessarily as a husband but a guy you want to date. He said women know when they're in a room who they're interested in and who they're not. He said this one guy, who isn't that stable, is one of these guys who lies about people. He said he even punched a guy on the soccer field. He said Luke says to this woman 2 nights from the end that if she's fucking some of the other guys that he shouldn't propose to her. Howard said this is what the guy was trying to say. He said if you're about to propose to a girl and you find out she's fucking other guys and not you, maybe it's not a good idea to propose to her. He said head for the hills. He said this girl was so confused that she thought he was slut shaming her.
Howard said the reason The Bachelorette was so upset about the slut shaming is that she was ashamed herself. Howard said she knows she's doing the wrong thing. He said she should know after 6 or 7 weeks which guy you are into. Robin said she can't stay out of this. She asked how long he's been watching that show. Howard said forever. Robin said this is the first time he's brought it up. Howard said he has brought it up a bunch. Robin said he has never brought it up.
Howard said the bigger point is that he's sitting in bed being aggravated about that show. He said he wasn't able to sleep. Robin said he's acting like this Luke P was making sense. Robin said he tried to win her back. Howard said her point is well taken. He said imagine he proposed to Beth and she was fucking 2 other guys. Robin said if you're with 25 guys and then there are 4 left then something might happen. Howard said The Bachelorette said the fantasy room isn't for fucking. He said oh yes it is. He said this is the kind of thing that bothers him.
Robin said has been there when he's said he likes it when these guys go in there with the woman. Howard said this woman is a disturbed young lady. He said she let him down. Howard said she's as disturbed as Luke P.
Howard said that's why he wasn't able to sleep last tonight. He said he has a lot of work stuff and personal stuff going on too. He said he did jerk off twice. Robin said that's how he puts himself to sleep. Howard said of course it is. He said that's how he's always put himself to sleep.
Howard asked if Robin saw that these men are going out to dinner with women they meet on social media and then they run out on the dinner before the date is over. Howard said he was reading about this guy who was doing this to women. He said someone said that women have been getting free meals forever. He said this is diabolically genius. He said he'd stick his dates with the bill.
Howard said this guy would order chicken, fish and 4 lobster tails. He said he was given 120 days in jail. He said he did it on one of the dating apps. He said some of the guys were wondering if this was really a crime. Howard said Memet lied about his age on Tinder. He asked if that's a crime. Robin said there is a bill to pay and they have to have a conversation about who is going to pay it.
Howard said here are women who have admitted that they have gone out for a free meal. Howard said he figured that women deserve a free meal because men abuse their power to get laid. He said this guy was diabolical. He said he's evil.
Howard said he prays to god that any woman would go to dinner with him. He said any woman willing to sit and watch him eat. He said he took Beth out last night and he was eating spaghetti. He said he has food hanging on his face after eating. He said Beth went to Charm School so she eats like an angel. He said he's shoveling food in. Robin asked if he has learned anything from her. Howard said he was raised feral.
Howard said he used to block all of the exits in the restaurant so Beth can't get out. He said he's like a seagull eating a worm.
Howard said men are really weird. Robin said she sees that on Love Island. She said men are always trying to get laid and they have nothing in common with the women they're trying to be with.
Howard said there's a supplement called Big Penis and the FDA is warning people not to take it. He said the active ingredient in this thing is part of Viagra. He said they claim it's herbal but it's Viagra so your penis gets hard and doesn't grow. He said they're claiming that it could be a health problem. Robin said yeah because Viagra can kill you. Howard said guys just want a big penis. He said some guys have a hard time getting a hard on. He said you think they're brainwashing you.
Howard said he asked Ronnie about this and he takes some pill for his cock. He said it's called Maca. Ronnie came in and said that it's not a sex drive pill. He said it's something you get in GNC. He said it's made with Goat Weed. He said there's nothing wrong down there. He said it's not Viagra. He said it's supposed to help keep your sex drive. Howard said he knows that but he's saying exactly what he's saying. He said he has enough sex drive and doesn't need more. Robin said it's called Horny Goat Weed. Ronnie said she's right.
Howard asked how he found out about it and why he uses it. Ronnie said he read about it. He said he doesn't know if it actually works. He said he takes it in the morning before work. Howard asked if he takes vitamins too. Ronnie said he does. He said it's a time release pill. Howard said this guy is using cock rings and stuff and he's taking Maca. Howard said you don't know what that stuff is doing to you. Ronnie asked what it does. Fred did his Ronnie puppet thing and had him talking about what this stuff does to him.
Howard said it's funny that he's on Maca. He said all of these remedies are bullshit. He said that this stuff can cause irritability and aggression. He said maybe that's why he's angry. Ronnie said he was like that long before he started taking that stuff. Howard said you don't know if it's hurting you. He said he's good without any of that stuff. Ronnie said talk to him in a few years and see how he is. Howard said he knows how he'll be.
Robin said maybe he should stop it for a while and see if he needs it. Ronnie asked why. He said his doctor told him it's fine.
Howard said there's guys in their 30s and 40s who have issues with their penis. He said he thinks guys are being brainwashed into thinking they have a problem when they don't. Ronnie said there are guys who think they are going to get a bigger dick from it and it doesn't happen.
Howard said Brent is taking Cialis every other week. He asked what's wrong with him. Ronnie puppet was talking like Goat Boy since he's taking that horny goat weed stuff. Howard talked to Ronnie puppet about that. Ronnie puppet was talking about shitting pellets and eating tin cans. Howard said even when he says cunt it sounds different. Fred did it like goat boy.
Howard said he'd get off of that stuff. Ronnie asked why. Howard said he sounds different. He said even his signature catch phrases all sound different. Fred did the goat boy thing saying Ronnie's catch phrases.
Howard asked Brent why he's taking Cialis. Brent said he takes it recreationally. He said you get a harder cock with that stuff. Howard said at his age he wouldn't fuck with it. He said he thinks it's fun but that's going to fuck with his real hard on. He said that's for when you have a real problem.
Brent said a urologist told him that you have to work your cock out like the muscle it is or it'll atrophy. He said that's why he takes it.
Howard asked Brent where he gets his porn. Brent mentioned the site he gets his on and Ronnie said he gets his on Twitter. He said it's easy to get it on Twitter. He said he was checking it out in the car before Howard came down this morning.
Howard asked if Brent is taking Cialis from Canada. Brent said he is. He said it's cheaper from up there. Howard said Chris Wilding said he gave him one and it fucked him up. Brent said he's a hypochondriac.
Howard asked Chris what happened. Chris came in and said that he has issues with administering anal. Howard said he's with him there. Ronnie said you need a bullet type cock to get it in that hole. He said you have to have a stiff one. Chris said that it's tough to get a condom on and all of that. Howard said he knows what they're talking about. He said the few times he's been asked to give anal he knows how hard it can be. Ronnie asked how great it is when they ask you to do it. Howard said one woman put his cock in there and it went in like a vacuum. He said Ronnie knows her too.
Howard said Ronnie has told him how you have to work it in there. Ronnie said you have to see if she's even in the mood for it. He said you squirt your natural juices in there. He said it's a pre cum and that's like a lube. Brent said that's not enough lube. Ronnie said it might be. He said you have to take your time with her. He said it can take an hour. He said it's a lot of play time. Howard said it's great that Ronnie has an hour to work someone's asshole. He said he has absolutely nothing else to do. Ronnie said he has plenty to do.
Howard said he was on a flight with Ronnie once and he just stared out the window the whole time. He said it was 6 hours. Ronnie said he looks at the little guy sitting on the wing. Howard said he just sits there. He said he has endless time to wait for the asshole to open up. He said that's not a put down. He said that's just his thing. Howard said he should be more like a caveman.
Howard said it's funny that he takes that Maca stuff. Chris said he used to take that stuff for the same reason but it was for erectile issues. Ronnie said he takes it but not for that. Chris said Ronnie has to be taking it for other reasons.
Howard asked Chris what happened when he took that Cialis that Brent gave him. Chris said he was all anxious and had a migraine from it. He said that he was having trouble getting hard enough for guys so he tried it.
Howard asked if Chris has ever had pussy. Chris said years ago he tried it. Ronnie asked if he ever tried fucking her in the ass. Chris said he didn't. He said the whole pussy thing freaked him out. Robin said Ronnie said an ass is an ass. Chris said that's not true. Ronnie said he meant that for Chris.
Howard asked if Chris vomited from the fucking. Chris said it freaked him out but he didn't vomit. Howard said his cousin was gay and he thought pussy was weird too.
Howard asked Chris what he uses for lube. Chris said his cock is leaky so he has a lot of pre cum. He said he uses something called Gun Oil.
Howard asked if Ronnie has ever had a failed mission in the ass. Ronnie said no. He said he has had to use lube before. He said he tries it the natural way first.
Howard said he thinks they've exhausted this and they can move on now. He said they can top it off with a Ronnie song. They played a song parody that Ronnie sang about himself. Howard was in that song too. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he has gas. He asked if anyone wants to hear a fart. Robin said not her but maybe Fred. Howard said it's embarrassing at his age to be doing this. He let one rip into the microphone. He sniffed the microphone too. He told Robin to come over there. Robin said no.
Gary said Richard wanted to breathe it in. Howard said get out of here. He said he has class.
Howard said he seems to be at rock bottom right now with his gas. Robin said she thinks of him pitching ideas at an Saturday Night Live pitch meeting.
Howard said he loves Donnie Enos and his work. He said his father has so much money Donnie never needs to work. He said he goes around telling people he's rich and doesn't have to work. He said Donnie went out to the gay porn awards and talked to some people. Howard played the bit where Donnie would ask porn stars questions and then one up them with bigger claims than theirs. Howard said he loves that guy. He said he one ups everyone.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that the show is a blessing to her and they're amazing. Howard thanked her for that. She said that they're doing their job very well.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that song they just played a few minutes ago about Ronnie and his anal issues was fantastic. She said it would be great if they could have more of that. She thought it sounded like what his FOX News the Musical would sound like. She said they need more of that. Howard said he wishes he had more time to do all of that. He said that he'd like to be able to but it's hard to make the time.
Howard said it's like having the Mozart of radio alive right now but he's running out of time. Robin said he has a staff back there. Howard said to all the writers to just go write it and stick his name on it. He said they need it on Broadway this fall.
Howard said he only got to write one song for it but it was good. He played the song he was talking about where people from FOX News were singing about the network.
Howard said imagine that opening number. He said that's as good as anything you'll hear at the Tony's. He said they act like they're creating high art. Robin said absolutely.
Howard said they have Chad and JT coming in later. He said they've never been on the show before. He said the Party Bros are coming in. He said this is huge. He said they're the hottest thing right now. He said he swears they're coming in today. He said they took up a new social cause and they're going to unveil it there. He said today is they day they're coming in. He said this is why he wasn't able to sleep last night.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how his chess game is coming along. Howard said he goes on the ICC (Internet Chess Club) once in a while and it's great when he wins. He said he plays 2 minute games. He said it's not real chess because it's not a thinking man's game. He said the real master way of playing it is playing for hours. He said when you play a quick game it's to regain what he used to have. He said he loses and panics. He said sometimes he's winning and loses. He said it rips his soul out.
The caller asked if he goes to that place in Central Park anymore. Howard said he stopped doing that. He said he did it once and they had a draw but the guy argued with him. He said his self worth goes down when he loses. He said this is why he had to stop playing. Howard said he feels stupid when he loses. Robin asked why he would ever pick it up again. Howard said he has an obsession. He said he watches people play and wonders why his mom didn't breast feed him. He said he wishes he had a superior intelligence. Robin said he's upsetting himself when he knows he's going to do that. The caller said he's worth like $600 million so why worry. Howard said he might be worth more. He said maybe he's worth a billion but what does that have to do with chess. He said he's not worth $600 million. Howard said actually that would help if he was worth that much.
Howard said there's one guy he plays on the chess site and the guy has a message that says that he's blind and he's got a handicap. He said he might have to put that on his. He said he won't play for ratings points either. He said he doesn't want his rating affected. He said it's just too much for him. He said everything in life is too much.
Robin said she took tennis lessons because she loved Tennis so much. She said she discovered that she sucked. She said it broke her heart and she didn't go back and do it again. She said she just watches it now. Howard said he wants to be the greatest painter and the greatest chess player. He said it's starting to happen for him. He said he told himself that.
Howard said he hates some of these people he plays. He said one guy he played the other night let his clock run out to let him win. He said just resign if you don't want to lose.
The caller asked if he ever finished his point about Luke P. Howard said he thinks he did. Robin said he did. Howard said imagine he asked Beth to marry him when he was fucking two other women. He said she never would have married him.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he went to the Peloton place. Howard said he did go there yesterday. He said he told the guy there that he wasn't looking for a freebie. He said he just wanted to see how to use this thing. He said he didn't want to go on there and hurt himself and ruin his experience. He said he bought one and he has the shoes and socks and all of that.
Howard said he went down there for a demo and it took him like a half hour. He said you have to clip into the bike and he was embarrassed in front of these ladies and this guy. He said they were telling him to just clip into this. He said he was trying to do it a half hour later. He said he was having trouble just clipping in. He said he was feeling a lot of pressure doing it. He said he did sit on the bike. He said it's amazing technology. He said you have a teacher who motivates you. He said he's not sure if it'll last. He said his track record with exercise equipment is very poor. He said he has coat hangers that get more use.
Howard said he called Gary to let him know he's getting the bike. He said it's arriving today. Gary said the shameful part is when you go look at the history. Howard said he's really going to try. Robin said if you want aerobic exercise then you have to motivate yourself to do it. Howard said the motivation is there. He said everything hurts in a bad way when he works out. Robin said work up to it.
Howard said he has to take a beginner class. He said they showed him how to find it. The caller asked if the bike is going to be his answer. She said he needs weight lifting. Howard said he ash that. He said you need both. He said when you run you should see how good you look. He said this Peloton will do some of that for him. He said he's going to do the weights too. He said he does weights already. He said he's repulsive physically. He said he has to do something. The caller said she'd like to see a before and after picture. Howard said he bets she's overweight. The caller, Heather, said she's not. She said she did weight training. Howard said he's doing that. He said he doesn't like her anymore. He hung up on her.
Howard said Robin saw him when he did the ice bucket challenge. He said some of the ladies said he had a bit of a six pack going. He said he was running and lifting weights at the time. He said he's not like The Rock or anyone like that.
Howard said he was talking to Benjy about the Peloton. He said he was at the store and they were showing him the weights that you can have on the back. He said Benjy told him he struggles with the 1 pound weights. He said he wanted the 2 pounds. He said he might have to go to the 1 pounds.
Howard said he doesn't have much to work with on his body. Robin said she's been watching tennis for a very long time. She said athletes are different. She said they work through the pain and they can do things that you could never do. She said it's like when those African runners were in the park. She said they look like they're floating on air. Howard said they are.
Howard said they have a camera on the Peloton bike. He said they said you can talk to your buddy while you ride. He said he's not going to do that. Gary said he's not sure why anyone would want to. Gary said in the classes they say that if you can't finish a sentence then you're going too hard. Howard said they also said that you can send a high five through the bike. He said he's not going to do that either.
Howard said he knows everything about Peloton now. He said he ended up buying one. He said he liked it so much because he didn't do any exercise. He said it's pretty amazing what they can do now. He said it's going to be great. He said they're going to regret selling him one.
Howard said Snoop is ranting on Instagram and they're interesting. He said it's funny to hear him so worked up about this stuff. He said he's worked up about sports. Howard played a clip of Snoop going off on the Eagles fucking up his fantasy league and things like that.
Howard said he wants him as his Peloton coach. He said imagine him being like that 24/7. He said he's high and he's that aggressive. Howard said Snoop went off on the Lakers after their bad season. He played that clip and Snoop was talking about how a lot of players have to go as well as the coach. He said they fucking suck. He said he's selling his booth off because he's not going.
Howard said Snoop likes video games and he loves the Madden football game. He said he posted a video where he talks shit to another player he just beat online. Howard played the clip of Snoop going off on the guy. He was upset with the guy for telling him ''good game'' when he beat him 65 to 17.
Howard said he wasn't sure why he was so angry. He said you'd think it was a real game. He said maybe he should talk to his chess opponents that way. He said you don't talk to them though.
Howard had another clip of Snoop talking about getting pulled over in a van by the police. Howard said he thinks they had tinted windows or something. Snoop was talking about how fucked up America is right now. He said they're out to get your ass.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has a lot more to get to. He went to break after that.
Howard said he has Jeff the Drunk on the phone. He said Jeff thinks Shuli is an asshole. He said he knows some of this and he might be on his side in this. Jeff said he will be when he hears what happened.
Jeff said he went to this show. Howard said he's already fucking up. He said Shuli is a good comic and he thinks he lacks confidence in himself. He said he gets Ronnie or Wack Pack there. He said that he told him to just go out and do his fucking act. He said he stacks the deck. He said he has Ronnie up there screaming cunt and stuff. He said then he thinks the audience got their money's worth.
Howard said Jeff asked to go to a show and Shuli said yeah. He said he wants him to act out in a way but on the other hand he doesn't want him to.
Shuli came in and said Jeff called him crying about not being able to get tickets to the show. He said in a moment of weakness he got him in. Howard said he thinks he likes the added bonus of having these people there. Shuli said he's been doing shows for the past year and a half without these guys. He said he doesn't want this fucking guy there. Howard said just tell him no then. Shuli said there will be no more.
Shuli said he offered Jeff the two tickets but Jeff wanted to sing. He said this was a big gig for him so he said no. He said he wanted to leave him 2 tickets and Jeff asked for 3. Howard said he likes it because it is added bonus for the people who show up. Shuli said people left the show because of Jeff. He said he doesn't like it.
Shuli said he went down to do the show and security called him saying that there was a guy slamming the stage trying to get attention. He said he went to Jeff and asked Jeff to quiet down and just listen to the jokes. He said that Jeff was shit faced and he just said ''What the fuck was that about?''
Shuli said the show starts and Jeff is quiet for the most part. Jeff said they threw someone out. Howard said Jeff will get his shot. Shuli said he was doing the show and it was almost done. He said he was going to tell a story about Jeff and give him his acknowledgment. He said he prank called him and he told that story. Howard got pissed at Jeff for having them on speakerphone. Howard said they can hear it. Jeff said they can't hear it. Howard said he can hear it. He said just do the right thing. He said he's not there in the room to see what he's doing.
Shuli said he finished the joke about Jeff. He said Jeff starts talking in the middle of his last joke. He said Jeff is hearing the clapping and laughing. He said he asked Jeff what he was doing. He said Jeff said this guy had to take a piss. He said he was doing this in the middle of a joke. Shuli said he just fucking lost it on him after that. Howard said Jeff has no idea that he's screwing things up for him. Shuli said he was such a mess he had to be brought out in a wheelchair. Howard said Jeff is doing it again with the phone. Jeff said he's not doing anything. He said he didn't do shit. Howard said he has to sit tight. Jeff said he is.
Howard asked how Shuli doesn't know that this is going to happen. He said he's delusional. Shuli said Jeff called him the next day asking what the fuck his problem was. Howard said just bring him in wearing a mask or something over his mouth. Shuli said the fans were pissed. He said he had more bits to do and he had to end it because of Jeff.
Howard said now they can hear Jeff's side. Jeff said he went to the casino and before he got there he went to the bar. Howard said never defend yourself in court. Jeff said he had 3 or 4 beers. He said he went to the casino after that. He said the audience was asking him to stand up so he did that. Then he sat down and 5 minutes later Shuli came up to him asking him to not make him throw him out. He said some guy who was with him did this and that and some girl did this and that. Howard was making snoring sounds and Fred played some snores over him. Howard said after what he just said he sees that Shuli is an asshole. He said Jeff wins. He said what an explanation. He said imagine going through life being that inarticulate. Howard said he heard something about 4 beers and calling someone a cunt.
Howard said he tells a story like a 6 year old. Jeff said someone got kicked out for trying to defend him. Howard asked if Jeff ever takes any responsibility. He asked if he ever looks at that. Jeff asked why invite him. Shuli said he's 100 percent right. Jeff said Shuli knows how he is. Shuli said he doesn't know he's going to ruin the show.
Howard took a call from a guy defending Jeff who had an echo on his phone like Jeff did earlier. Howard let him talk for a minute before hanging up.
Jeff said that Shuli is so fake with that smile of his. He said he doesn't want to be there. He said it's a fake ass smile. Shuli said Jeff takes pictures of his dick. He said he gets them from all of the dudes he sends them to.
Howard said Jeff got free tickets and this is the way he treats him. Jeff said they kicked his friend out of there. Howard said he made that point already. Shuli said he kept Jeff in there after they said they wanted to throw him out. Jeff said all he did was acknowledge the crowd. Shuli said that High Pitch Erik knows how to act at a show. He said Speech Impediment Man knows. He said they all know other than Jeff. Jeff said he takes pictures with everyone but him. Shuli said he doesn't take pictures with assholes.
Howard said he has a story about Shuli. He said he sent him an email saying that he sent him an email back in February that didn't get to him. Howard said it's about his new album that came out in February. Jeff said it's called Shulogy. He said don't get him started on that.
Howard said he's trying to tell a story. Shuli said now Howard is looking like an asshole keeping Jeff on. Howard said Shuli sent him this email and asked him to listen to his album. Howard said he was thinking about it and figured he'd check it out. He said he had 3 links. He said the first one doesn't work. He said this guy sent him an email and he doesn't have a free minute. He said he clicked the second link and that was dead. He said he can't even get it right for himself. He said then it finally says there's a Dropbox link. He said the whole album is broken down into 30-40 second elements. He said you have to press each element. He said he's in the middle of a joke and it stops. He said it's unbelievable. He said then he hits the second link and hears 30 more seconds. He said he just gave up and deleted it.
Howard said it's funny with Shuli. He said they got a call when he didn't show up to work yesterday. He said he was in the hospital thinking he was having a heart attack. He said he took 8 months off for paternity leave. Shuli said it was 30 days. Howard said there were 5 of them standing around and not one of them believed this story. Shuli said none of them reached out to him either. Howard said someone asked if they believed he was in the hospital. He said Shuli was sending pictures of himself in the hospital. Howard said leave it to Shuli to be sick during the show. He said he goes during the show instead of at night. Howard said someone said he was there getting his new vagina. He said it turned out it was angina. Howard said he thought he was trans now.
Howard asked why he thought he had a heart attack. Shuli said he thought he had a panic attack. He said he got short of breath on the train. He said he was on the train and he started to panic. He said he thought about Jon Leiberman who had a scare with his heart. He said he was feeling sluggish the other day. He said he went right to the emergency room. He said he was relaxed by the time he got there. He said he was freaking out. Howard said he was right to do that. Shuli said they said that he has angina. He said he has to change his lifestyle. He said that it's like a fluttering of the heart. Shuli said he was laying there texting Tan Mom and Adam Barta. He said they don't stop. Howard said he saw him on Instagram. Shuli said he has a manager who runs that. He said he wasn't on there.
Howard asked Jeff why his phone is echoing again. He asked what he's doing. Jeff said he doesn't know what sound they're hearing. Howard said it's like he's a baby trying to get attention. He said he can't believe he invited him to that show. Shuli said it was the dumbest move. He said he's banned from coming to his shows now. He said he's never coming again. Howard said he's never seen him this aggravated. Shuli said he lost it on Jeff and said he hoped he died that night. He said then he called him up asking him what his problem was. Jeff said he still doesn't know what his problem was. Jeff said he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He said he thinks Shuli had it out for him. Shuli said that's why he gave him 3 free tickets.
Howard asked if this is going to affect his job with Jeff. Shuli said not at all. He said Jeff is such an air whore that he will take his calls no matter what. He said he doesn't need Jeff to help fuck things up in life. He said he doesn't need his help. Howard said don't send him another link to Shulogy. He said he blew that too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has a dear friend who didn't pay attention to his angina and he wound up having to have a nuclear stress test. He said they found out he had an 80 percent blockage. He said it's very serious. Howard asked Shuli what he's going to do about it. Shuli said he was told that if he changes his lifestyle up he can be okay. He said he gave up smoking cigarettes. He said he needed a doctor to tell him that to get him on the right track. He said he gets off the train and he thinks he needs a cigarette. He said he really did quit and he's doing okay. Howard asked about weed. Shuli said baby steps man.
Howard said that's still smoke. Shuli said it's not through a filter and with all of the stuff the cigarette companies put in it. Howard said he knows a guy who quit smoking cigarettes and he started smoking more pot. Shuli said he can't possibly smoke more pot. Howard said that stuff isn't chemical free. Shuli said he's never smoked laced weed. Jeff said he hasn't either. Howard said Jeff thinks they're paying attention to him.
Jeff said he has that sleep apnea thing. He said that they wanted him to sleep with that mask but he thinks that's all bullshit. He said he doesn't need to sleep with a mask. Howard said he could become a super hero with that mask. Jeff said he has two inhalers.
Howard said this is the new Shuli. He asked if he's going to change things up. Shuli said he doesn't have a blockage. He said he has to do more testing though.
Jeff said Shuli is following in his footsteps and quit smoking. Howard said alright. Jeff said they can't understand what he's saying. Shuli said no one can understand what he's saying. Fred did his impression of Jeff talking over his awful phone connection. He talked all over Jeff when Jeff was trying to talk. Howard said he sounds like one of the Sesame Street characters. He wasn't sure which one though. He said maybe it's Grover.
Howard said he wrote Jim Henson a letter when he got out of college trying to get a job. He said he got a nice letter back saying his services weren't needed.
Jeff said Shuli is a using mother fucker. Shuli said he gave him 3 fucking tickets. Jeff was going off on Shuli and Shuli said that he does nothing about the Wack Pack on his album. Howard said if he heard it he would know. He said he wasn't able to listen. Howard thanked Jeff for the call and let him go.
Howard said he has to get to Chad and JT. He said they rock. He said everyone is waiting for them today. He said Robin is going to run off with them. He said that they are two gnarly dudes. He said he's never met them but he loves these guys. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he has Chad and JT there. He said everyone is excited about it. He said this is Chad Kroeger and JT. He said they hail them over there. Howard said look at these two. He said what they're doing is great. He said people talk about doing stuff but they go out and do it. He said they believe in speaking their mind and using their first amendment rights.
The guys said that it can hurt sometimes. Howard said they call them the party boys but he calls them Chad and JT.
Howard asked if he likes Nickelback because he's named after the band leader. Chad said he loves them. JT said they have a song where they reference Nelson Mandela and then he comes out and becomes president. He said they reference him in a bunch of songs. He said U2 only does a quarter of what they do and they get a Grammy.
Howard asked the guys about wanting Nickelback to have diplomatic immunity. Howard asked what that's about. Chad said that they're Canadian so they need to have that freedom. JT said that's like making them a knight in this country.
Howard asked if they had any luck getting them into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. JT said he's already written his induction speech. Howard asked if he can give them a glimpse of what would happen if they were inducted. They said they would get nervous being up there. JT said it's not just the music but the goatees and the air and the whole package.
Howard said that he'd like to give their history a bit. He said that they are known as the Party Bros. He said they have gone to many city council meetings. They said they've gone to like 40 and made speeches. He said they have made a lot of attempts. Howard said they like to defend partying. Howard said they play their clips all the time. He said they are partiers and they are also serious guys. He said they love to drink and tan. He said they love beer pong too.
Howard asked if they surf. Chad said he surfs and JT body boards. Howard asked how they met. Chad said they met at Benjy's rager. He said they were star crossed. Chad said that JT came into the party and they met there.
Howard said in 2017 they were in the San Clemente city council asking them to put up a statue of Paul Walker. Howard played a clip of the guys making their speech about the Paul Walker statue.
Howard asked if they said yes to that. Chad said they said no. He said they don't get it. He said it's time to start honoring Paul.
Howard played another clip of the guys in front of the L.A. city council complaining about them possibly banning house parties.
Howard said in 2019 they went to the Laguna Beach city council and told them why they kicked Kevin out of their squad and how they should get involved. Howard played the clip of them making their speech there. They were talking about how Kevin was a schmoll and they have to ''boke him'' out. They talked about what all of that meant and gave their proposals.
Howard said they were serious but the council was laughing. Chad said they must have struck a nerve with that guy who was laughing. He said he was the schmoll of the council.
Howard said people don't get out great they are. He asked if they get kicked out of any of these things. JT said they weren't going to get them speak at one and they had someone defend them and said they could do it. Chad said they love them at the L.A. city council. He said they even take pictures with them.
Howard said he heard them proposing a Britney Spears renaming of a waste facility at one meeting. He played some audio of that. They were at the Manhattan beach city council meeting for that.
Howard said they should start a band. Chad said that's a good call. He said they do make music videos. They asked if Howard sings. Howard said he just did. They said they heard it. JT said he DM'd Britney about this and she left him on ''read.''
Howard asked if JT has a girlfriend. JT said he dos. He said he just lost his virginity a few weeks ago. He said it was great. He said he had lots of eye contact in missionary. Howard said he loves that they're so honest. He said they must have women crawling all over them. Chad said he has a girlfriend too. He said he's been with her for like a year.
Howard asked if JT gets jealous of Chad's girlfriend. JT said he tries to be self aware about it. Howard said the jealousy can break up a team. He said just look at the Beatles. Howard mentioned Yoko. He had to explain to them who she was.
Howard said that the guys were told that Manhattan Beach doesn't have a water treatment plant. Howard said if there was they should have named it after Britney.
Howard said the Party Bros have come up with a new proposal. He said they went to the Manhattan Beach city council meeting again. He said this is the first time it's been played. He said this is Chad and JT proposing something new. Chad was saying that he loves the 4th of July. They interrupted and told him to keep it to something that the council will hear. Chad went on and on and then said they don't have any party holidays. He said he's ready to rage every day. He said that Memorial Day is great but they should have more holidays to party on. Chad said he's suggesting a second independence day.
Howard said what a great idea. He asked whose idea that was. JT said he thinks they just looked at each other and said they've got it. Howard said that woman was rushing them along. Chad said maybe she had too many edibles the night before.
Howard said JT went next and supported this idea of a second 4th of July. He said he also recited some lyrics from a song in his speech. Howard played some audio of JT doing his thing. He was asking for an extra 4th of July and told them that he lost his virginity on the 4th of July. He said she's the one. JT said he hopes that they can make another holiday so he doesn't have to choose between Chad and his girl. Then he started to sing. The council just let him go. They said that was six minutes they can't get back. The council said the first amendment allows them to do that.
Chad said that Steve came in with another zinger in there. Howard said that woman was acting like they're not serious. He said they're very serious about all of this. JT said how about their cause. He said that no one would disagree that they need more holidays. Howard said they get half a day over in Europe. Chad said you need to let off steam. JT said you have to empty the hopper.
Howard asked if they smoke weed. Chad said he doesn't but JT does. JT said he doesn't talk much about it.
Howard said the guys have a podcast called ''Going Deep with Chad and JT.'' He said they're on Instagram too.
Howard asked if they are influencers. Chad said they prefer the term activists. Howard asked about their idea for California to buy Cabo. They said that's a good idea.
Howard said the guys have a #MeToo story to share. Chad said they went to a Deepak Chopra event and they all did Molly there. He said they didn't expect that. Chad said they did that and then made a pact to go skinny dipping. He said he and JD dropped dong. Howard asked if they're big. Chad said they're good. Howard asked if Deepak dropped dong. Chad and JT said he didn't and that was their #MeToo moment. They said just be aware that he may not drop dong if you do.
Howard said he read that they bleached their hair to match the coral reefs. JT said that the coral reefs are losing their color and they are turning white. That's why they did that. He said they're standing in solidarity with the coral reefs.
Howard asked if they work at all or are they full time advocates. They said they're full time advocates. Chad said they want to run for president. Robin said that's how Barack Obama got started.
Howard said they want to eulogize their fish that died. They said it was Larry or Billy. Then they said it was both. Chad said Billy was his and Larry was JT's. JT said he was so chill and there was no judgment when he would just sit there playing video games. He said there was no judgment at all. He said he'd take it out of the water and pet him all the time. He said he misses Larry. He said he lived like a month. Howard said he doesn't mean to laugh. He asked if they flushed him. JT said he hucked him into the ocean. He said he didn't let it get him down. He said he knew he had Chad and Larry.
Howard said maybe it died because he took it out of the water. JT said ''Oh...'' Howard gave the guys some plugs for their podcast and their Instagram accounts which are @ChadGoesdeep and @JDParr14
Howard said the guys are in pretty good shape. He asked what they learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chad said he wanted some good calves. JT said he cut the bottom part of his pant sleeve off to show them off. Howard said Arnold had a big cock. He said he should have dropped dong for them.
Howard asked the guys about what they did with Arnold when they met him. They talked about lifting weights with him. Chad said he lifted 250 with him. He said he taught them technique too. Howard said he has to say thanks for coming in. He said he wanted to give them a nod on the air there. He said he loves what they're doing. He said he's going to tune into their podcast and follow them.
Howard said he has to thank them for trying to change things out there. Chad said he read Howard's book (Howard Stern Comes Again) and he actually finished it. He said it's the only book he's ever finished.
Howard asked if the guys had a message to send before this is over. They said just keep partying. Howard said they love these two guys. He said all of their fans are calling in now. They're known as the Stokers.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is all a shtick. He said they got the name of the fish wrong. Howard said they had 2 fish. Howard said everyone is so jealous. Howard said to think they're doing a shtick when this is their lives is ridiculous. He said just know that he's out there watching them. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said those guys were awesome. He said he loved that interview. Howard said it's nice to hear the young people getting involved in politics. He said he thinks they had some great ideas. The caller said he thinks they're serious and not just into it for show business.
Howard said he thinks that he's going to get a bigger table so he can have a more people at his party. He said he was inspired by them. The caller said he's upset that they're gone. He said he'd like to ask if they can go to the federal level and do something about daylight saving time or getting rid of the tides.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is baffled. He said he just turned on the radio and has no idea what he was listening to. He asked if it was shtick or not. Howard said no, they're real dudes trying to fight for our rights. The caller still sounded baffled. Howard said they are young people who he wanted to honor. He said they dye their hair to match the coral reefs. He asked who is thinking of doing that stuff. The caller said it's a great platform. Howard said they're fighting for a lot. He said they want to change the name of Niagara Falls to Nickelback Falls and stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said those guys were awesome. Howard said his phone is a little fucked up. He said he's right though. The caller said he loves them and he commutes with them every day. He thanked him for the show.
Howard said Millenials get a bad rap. He said they are running out of places to rage and he understands it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bella Throne interview was good yesterday. He said he hopes she takes some of Howard's advice. Howard said Robin got a hold of her after the show yesterday and she was giving her some good advice too. Howard said he liked what Robin was telling her. Robin said she didn't know he was hearing that. Howard said he's just a big yenta and he moved in to hear what she was doing. Fred played Robin's news theme over that.
Howard said Bella got a lot of feedback in the mail. He said he's not sure where that is. The caller said that Howard asked her about why she wants the Oscar and that stopped her in her tracks. Howard said he's glad that she thought about it. He said you have to enjoy your job and just let it happen. He said he got a letter offering him an honorary doctorate from a college. He said he's never had that before. He said he's saying no to that but he was thinking about taking it like Bill Cosby did. He said he'd be Dr. Howard Stern. He said one of his daughters is in the middle of getting her doctorate. He said that might upset her. He said he's probably not going to do it. He said he's not going to show up and make a speech. He said he was trying to tell Bella about this. He said you see these guys who accept them and then people are protesting it. Howard said they say they can't give it to you then. Howard said they ask you if you want it and then take it away because some kids are protesting you.
Howard said if you do take it and they protest then they can take it away from you. He said they did that to Cosby. He said they could take it away for saying something dumb on radio. He said they set you up for humiliation. Robin said then he takes the brunt of it. Howard said it's crazy.
Howard said it's like someone begging you to go out with them and they tell you that you smell. Howard said he didn't ask for an honorary doctorate. He said he doesn't know if they're going to use it against him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he kind of had the feeling that he was taken aback at times by Bella. He asked if he was put off at all. Howard said not at all. Robin said she didn't feel any discomfort. The caller said he thought he was cut off by her a bit. Howard said he tries to keep it interesting but if she's going to complete a sentence he's going to let her. The guy thanked Howard and called him brother.
Howard said he loves when the guys from Enuff Z Nuff would come in and call everyone little brother. He said he loves those guys. He said Donnie V put out a new album. He said he's still rockin'. Robin said good for them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard the show yesterday and he was talking to that woman talking about getting peed on. He said this woman came by and said it was disgusting. He said the husband was trying to listen. He thanked Howard for the show. Howard said he should play the show as loud as he can. He said it's totally appropriate.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's excited that he's getting his Peloton soon. Howard said he told that story earlier. Robin said maybe he can ride with the fans. Howard said he already turned that off. The caller said the leader board name is a way to be really funny. She said people can see you but not be able to follow him. She said that he should have his leader board name ''Sauce on Side.'' Howard said he came up with another name that was taken already. He said he has a different one. He said it's Anita Cock. He said maybe Lou Bup. The caller said she's Tan Mom Fan. Howard said he's Hugh Jassole or Dean Gulberry.
Howard said it's kind of a cool concept to be able to ride with other people but not really with them. He said he could get involved somehow. He said he's sort of lurking around the community. He said he'll try it out tomorrow in the beginner class. He said he doesn't want to be rated on there because people will know who he is and they'll give him a hard time. He said he gets evaluated enough with this job. The caller said Howard will be fine on there. She said it works really well. Howard asked how her vag is after sitting on that seat. She said it's fine. Howard said he's worried about that. He said years ago guys had their dicks going numb from riding bikes. He said Gary and Benjy have no problem. He said he's so neurotic that he sat on it for like 5 minutes yesterday and he felt tingling in his ball sack.
Howard said the dude told him that he should just wear shorts. He said he didn't need bike shorts. The caller said he'll be fine. Howard said he's going to wear regular running shorts. The caller said it sounds like Shuli needs a bike too. Howard said he was told to wipe it down so he doesn't get sweat on it. He said you have to wipe down the screen too. Robin said they have special sprays. Howard said they told him what to use.
Howard said the guy said that you're not supposed to use Windex but he does it anyway. He said he gave him the wrong advice. He said he'll see what happens. He said he should be ripped in a couple of weeks. He said he'll probably use it a week and stop. Robin said she was thinking about one before Howard talked about it. She said maybe she will get one. They can talk to each other over it.
Howard asked the caller what she weighs. She said 130 and she's 5'6'' tall. Howard said hmm. He said it sounds a bit hefty to him. Robin said that's because he goes out with models. The caller, Amy, said that's pretty standard. Robin said Howard doesn't go out with standard.
Howard asked what cup size she is. Amy said she's around a DDD. Howard said no wonder she weighs so much. He said each one must weigh 5 pounds. He said she should tell everyone she weighs 120 plus the 10 for the titties. Howard asked if she has ever weighed a tittie on a scale. She said she'll do that right now and call back with a report. Howard said go do that.
Howard let Amy go and said his doctor told him he has to do some aerobic stuff. He said he doesn't want to leave the house so he's not going to ride a bike outside. He said he'll let Robin know what happens. He said he's sure something will go wrong.
Robin asked why he went for the shoe that clips on. Howard said you look like a douche. He said you can't get a good pedal with a basket pedal.
Howard said he had to take the shoe out of the pedal and had a hard time with that. He said it took him like a half hour to get out. He said he kept thinking that Ralph was going to love that bike in about 3 weeks. Robin said don't you dare give it to Ralph. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they don't know any of the top 5. He said he hasn't don that in a while. Howard went through the top 5 with Khalid at number 5, Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello at 4, Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber at number 3, Billie Eilish at 2 and Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus at number 1. Howard and Robin spent some time talking about the artists.
Howard said 25 years ago Ace of Base had a top 5 with ''Don't Turn Around.'' He played the other top 5 with Janet Jackson, Warren G and Nate Dog at 3, Lisa Loeb at 2 and All-4-One was at number 1. Howard went back 50 years ago and played the top 5 from then too. He played each song and spent a short time talking about each one.
Howard said now they're going back 300 years. He said this is the top 5 from back then. Fred played an Indian war dance song. Howard said they stated keeping track of the top 5 back in 1958.
Robin started her news with a story about 7 brain foods. Robin asked if he ever thinks about the nourishment of his brain. Howard said of course he does. He said he tries to eat healthy. Robin said there are 7 brain foods that neural scientists want you to eat every day. Howard went into his impressions of his mother and father talking about blueberries and other food they eat. Howard's parents were telling Robin about all of the different places they go and the food they eat. Ray was talking about liking egg salad and Ben likes Herring. Ben said he has 4 cups of coffee every day. Ray told Robin about how Ben likes to have Halibut when they go out to a restaurant. Ray said sometimes she gets 2 appetizers. Ben said they think she doesn't know what she's talking about. Robin asked how she got on the phone with them anyway. Howard said that was him.
Robin said the food they should be eating is fatty fish every day. Howard said he started out with the fish and then his mercury level went up. He said we're poisoning ourselves. He said the oceans are being ruined. Howard said now he's on eggplant Parmesan. Robin said you need fish. She ran down a list of the acceptable fish. Robin said you need dark, leafy greens too. Howard went back into his Ben and Ray impression talking to her about the foods she was bringing up. Robin said you also need extra virgin olive oil and flaxseed oil. Robin said they also say you should eat cacau. Robin said that's real chocolate. Robin said also complex carbohydrates. Robin said you should get them from whole grain bread. Howard said he eats perfectly. He said he eats blueberries every day. Howard asked if Maca is on there. Robin said it is not. She said this is for your brain. Robin said you also need to drink water. Howard said he drinks 4 cups of warm boiled water every day. Robin said they say you need to start with a glass first thing in the morning. Howard did a little more of Ben and Ray talking about food.
Robin read a story about Dwight Gooden being in trouble again. Robin said he was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated. Ben and Ray commented on that. Howard said they're fun.
Robin read a story about Valerie Harper and how her family has said that doctors are recommending hospice care for her. Howard said she's a nice woman. He said it sounds dire but she may have another 10 years. Robin said they did say she had 3 months left and she has lasted 5 years so far.
Robin read a story about how people donate their bodies to science but a cooler filled with male genitalia was found in a body donation company raid. Robin said 33 plaintiffs say that they lied to families and didn't treat their families with dignity or respect. Robin said FBI agents did a raid and found that and more disturbing things. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a pastor in New Jersey who says he was trying to suck out the demons when he was charged with sexually assaulting some men. Robin said he would put an angel coin on their forehead and perform oral sex on them. Howard told Fred to get over there so he can do that. Robin said he claims he was sucking out the demons and it was a Native American ritual.
Robin read a story about Washington DC bars opening early today so people can watch the testimony of Robert Mueller today. Howard said nothing is going to happen. Robin agreed. Howard said maybe he'll get up there and say fuck it and tell all. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about an actress named Audra McDonald who is performing nude on Broadway. Robin said Howard knows who she is because she performed at the Joan Rivers funeral. Howard didn't remember that. He did an impression of her singing when Robin had him play a clip. Robin said Audra got upset when she was photographed by someone in the audience. Gary said some of the guys there saw the play and the sex scene was so graphic that they had to turn the lights down. He said there's one in Network too and he saw that with his kids and it was really uncomfortable.
Robin read a story about President Trump continuing to throw barbs at The Squad. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about Boris Johnson who is the new Prime Minister of the UK.
Robin read a story about Congress passing the funding for the 9/11 victims compensation fund. Robin said it will urn for a few years so they don't have to keep going back to it every year. Robin had some audio of Jon Stewart commenting on that story. Robin said Jon is like Chad and JT because he's not afraid to speak out. Howard said he knows Rand Paul voted against that bill. He said he's from some state that doesn't give any taxes but they get a ton in return. Jason said for every dollar they give they get $2.63 in return.
Robin read a story about the NAACP meeting in Detroit and Bernie Sanders was asked about the importance of speaking to them. Robin had some audio of Bernie talking about that. Howard said that guy has a lot of energy. He said Bernie is 77 years old and he's on fire. Howard said he can't even do a demo on a Peloton.
Robin said we now have a secretary of defense. Robin said the guy was sworn in yesterday. Robin said hopefully he gets up and running soon.
Robin said yesterday they were talking about the rally where they were yelling ''send her back'' looking like a Nazi rally. Robin said Meghan McCain was challenging someone on The View yesterday about that. Robin had a clip for Howard to play.
Howard took a call from fake Melania who was calling in to talk about her support of her husband on the immigrant issue. Howard spent a short time talking to her.
Robin read a story about the FBI director talking about how China is the biggest threat to this country. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. She also had a clip of the FBI director talking about how the Russians are still trying to interfere with our elections. Robin said we have big problems. She said they're all cyber attacks.
Robin read a story about Congress doing something for themselves. Robin said they have a budget deal between the democrats and republicans. Robin said there will not be a stoppage of work for 2 years. Robin said this is bad during an election cycle. Robin said she was thinking about what assholes they are for doing this.
Robin read a story about some families that broke out in a fight at Disney. Robin had Howard play a clip. She said 3 family members are facing a bunch of charges that could see them in jail for years. Robin read the details about that. Robin said Disney doesn't play.
Robin read a story about how in North Carolina they're going to let people use bathrooms of the gender they identify with. Howard said that's good. He said you should shit with pride.
Robin read a story about the movie Bohemian Rhapsody being viewed over 1 billion times. Robin said this is the video, not the movie. Robin said it's the only video made from before the 1990s that has been able to do this.
Robin said Bruce Springsteen has a new album coming out and he has a movie coming out to promote that.
Robin said the guitar known as Lucille will go up for auction soon. Robin said this is BB King's guitar. They expect it to go for up to $100,000. Howard said that guy made some great music on that guitar. Robin had some audio of BB King performing for Howard to play. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.