Howard started the show talking about how he really doesn't want to be there today. He said he's not in the mood. He said he'll do the show but he's doing it under protest. He ask if Robin wants to be there. Robin said she always wants to see him. Howard said he's happy to see her but he doesn't want to do the show.
Howard said Fred's puppetry is pretty remarkable. He said the puppets are such a big hit that they're going to build him a theater in the studio. He said that way he can have a full production going on. He said he'll build it around Fred. He said he'll have a green screen so they can have him climbing mountains or driving a car. He said they're looking into that. He said they can have JD in there flying to the moon or something. He said they can have JD in bed with his dirty sheets and things like that. He said they're also going to have new puppets for Fred to work. Fred said he loves doing it.
Howard said he had no idea he would be able to do this when he met him in Hartford. He said he's a big hit. He said they can't do a better show than they did last Wednesday. He said people loved the Benjy hand job thing last week. He said they can't beat that. He said they had Sal's Father's Day as a big hit too. Robin asked if they're going to get an update. Howard said of course.
Howard said he got a picture of Sal's dad hugging one of his newly found daughters. He said he felt bad for Sal. He said it's a drag. He said they had this big revelation from Sal about his father having kids outside the marriage with his mother. He said Sal's sister went out and found more siblings nearby. Robin said he has numbers of children there in the states. Howard said they got together with the new sisters over the weekend. Robin said one of the sisters is close in age to Sal's sister so he knocked her up around the same time his mother was pregnant.
Howard said he sees that Bobo is on the phone. He said he figured he was all flustered from that whole thing about his toupee. He took Bobo's call and Bobo said he's in New York. Howard said he hasn't heard from him in a couple of days. Bobo said he made the drive up there. He said he did the road trip. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Bobo calling it a ''Woawd twip.''
Howard asked Bobo how his lesions are. Bobo said they're doing okay. He said he's tanning his head. Robin asked why he would do that with the lesions on there. Howard explained how Bobo got the lesions because of his hair system. Bobo said it's too much humidity down there. Robin said it's too much maintenance. She said the glue is still up there. Bobo said now it's all gone.
Howard asked how you get the glue off of the thing. Bobo said he would take it off and put the bonding tape back on. Robin asked if he went to a place to do that. Bobo said he did it a lot by himself but sometimes he'd go to a place. He said he had three systems that he rotated. He said they were all different. He said it's a whole process.
Howard said now he's bald. Bobo said he shaved his head completely. He said no more bozo look. Sal said he still has that look for sure.
Howard said he was wondering why he wasn't calling in. Bobo said he's in Jericho, New York now. He said he landed there. Howard said he just said he drove. Bobo said that's what he meant. Howard asked if he was trying to be cool. Bobo said this was the first time he drove in years. He said that was some drive. He said he didn't like Atlanta. He said the area was dangerous. He said there were bums laying all over the streets. Sal said they were probably afraid of him. They played a song parody about Bobo.
Howard said Ronnie has a question for him. Ronnie came in and asked how Bobo was able to drive when he hates bridges and tunnels. Bobo said he's fine in a car but not when he's up high in the trucks. He said when he's lower he can't see over the edge like he did when he was in a truck. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying. Bobo said that he had a lot more in the mirrors when he was driving a truck. Ronnie said he doesn't get how he was a driving instructor.
Ronnie asked if it's true that he can't call the show when he's on vacation. Bobo said he's in his car now. Gary said that Shuli said everything that Bobo is saying is a lie.
Shuli came in and said that the last vacation Bobo went on he was almost in tears because he couldn't call in. He said he wasn't allowed to. Bobo said he doesn't remember that. Shuli said that's because he wasn't able to call into the show. Bobo said he wasn't miserable with his family. He said he was miserable because he missed the show. Shuli said he sounded like he was going to jump off a building. He said he'll find the audio.
Shuli said that he claims he goes out in the car because he gets better reception out there. Bobo said the reception is horrible down there. Shuli also said he told him that he hates tunnels. Bobo said he never said that. He said he doesn't like bridges. Shuli said Bobo got the million miles because he drove around bridges and tunnels.
Shuli said Bobo told him about how he lowers the seat in the truck and then he wears sunglasses so he won't see the sides of the bridges. He said he's driving a truck and trying to block his vision. Bobo said he hated bridges and he would go through the tunnels instead of going over the bridges. He sniffed after that so Fred and Howard were making the sniffing sounds.
Howard took a call from a Dr. Matt who said that he wants to talk about Bobo. Matt said he does a ton of skin stuff. He asked Bobo how long those things have been on his head. Bobo said he'd say about 3 months. Matt said those are more than likely benign lesions and they're not from the hair piece. He said that they're not from that. He said they're common from older age. He said they're like liver spots but raised. Bobo said the doctor told him his head would breathe better if he had the hair piece off and he may not have them. Matt said that he would say it probably doesn't have to do with the hair system. Howard tanked Matt for the call.
Shuli said Bobo's first wife argued with him about the show and she flushed some of his shrine down the toilet. Bobo said she did rip stuff up. He said he doesn't want to go down that road. He said she passed away on Howard's birthday actually. Howard said what a present. Bobo said she did die. Howard said she was married to Bobo and she got sick of him. Bobo said that happened years back. He said he was married for 23 years.
Howard asked why he divorced her. Bobo said he doesn't want to get into it. Shuli said he likes how Howard thinks he divorced her. Howard said it was probably the other way around. Bobo said they were good friends after. He said she knew he was obsessed with the show and that had a lot to do with it. Howard asked if she told him to stop with the show or she's leaving. Boob said that had a lot to do with it. Shuli said he had to go to therapy. Bobo said that he wasn't going to stop with the show. He said that wasn't even in the equation.
Howard asked if she knew he cheated on her with the vacuum. Bobo said that was a long time ago. He said it was in the 20s. Howard said it was in the 1920s.
Howard asked if there was a settlement. Bobo said there was. Shuli asked what the most prized possession was that she ruined. Bobo said he had a lot of stuff. He said that she didn't get his Howard Stern watch. He said she got pictures and stuff. Howard asked if she tried to turn the kids against him. Bobo said she wasn't like that. Robin asked if he can mention the show when he's at family gatherings. Howard said it's funny that both wives have had it with him. He said he's a very loyal fan. He said he got divorced over the show. He said he's like Mariann. Bobo said Mariann is off the roof. He said she's top of the food chain.
Howard said Mariann did book promotion for him. He said she really is up there. Shuli asked if Bobo read Howard's book (Howard Stern Comes Again). Bobo said he liked the Billy Joel interview. He said he liked when he talked about his hair and going bald. Howard said he was talking right to him.
Howard told Bobo he should do the hair on the face thing. Bobo said he does that. Howard asked if he dyes it. Bobo said that would look ''re-dick-lis.'' The guys goofed on him about that.
Shuli said Bobo is so miserable when he gets called into work. He said when he can't listen he gets really upset. Bobo said he can't take it when he has to work when Howard is live. Shuli said Bobo has a strict schedule of not working Monday to Wednesday but then he gets called in.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn and said that she's got Bobo close to her in the running for the biggest fan. Mariann said that Bobo has to call her asking what is happening on the show. She said she has to explain things to him about the show. She said he's clueless. Howard asked what she means. Mariann said he'll call her and completely misunderstand what was going on with the show. Mariann started to go nuts so Howard said she's the number one fan. He hung up on her.
Bobo said the 2012 thing proves that he loves the show. He said he left his family to do the show.
Shuli said that he would call Bobo weekly to ask him questions about the show. He said he wouldn't get the questions all right. He said he would get 4 out of 10 right. He said it seems like he's not listening to the show. Ronnie asked what shopping center he's in. Bobo said it's a small shopping center with a Starbucks in it. Ronnie was trying to figure out where he is so he could send the fans there. Sal asked if it's on 106. Bobo said it's in that area. Ronnie asked if it's near the Miller Ridge Inn. Bobo laughed. Ronnie said that's where he is. Bobo said he's able to listen there and relax. Howard said he must want to get out of the car at some point. Ronnie asked if he runs his car for that much time. Bobo said he does. He said he has the air on. Howard asked if he can't sit in the house for 4 hours. Bobo said he can't do it. He said his family is sleeping. He said he talks loud. Howard asked if they will hear him in the whole house. Bobo said his voice carries.
Shuli said he has to be honest. Bobo said he is. Howard said something is up. He said he should be able to go down in the basement. Ronnie said his wife threw him out. Howard said he should have a stupid room to go into. Bobo said when he was in New York he was downstairs. Howard said just sit in the car and not drive off. Bobo said his kid will see him. He said this way he's away. Howard said that way he won't see his kid. Bobo said he sees his son in the morning. Ronnie said he has a light on his car that says ''On Air.''
Howard said this is show time and he can key in on what he wants to talk about. Bobo said he might have to take care of a problem if someone sees him in the car. Ronnie asked what kind of car he drives. Bobo said it's a Toyota RAV 4, black. Ronnie said that's who you look for at the Starbucks over on 106.
Shuli asked if he's in town until the end of the month. Bobo said he is. Shuli asked him to get his wife on the show. Bobo said she's not going to do that. He said she doesn't hate the show but she's private. Howard asked if she hates the show enough that he has to leave the house. Bobo said she thinks he's obsessed. He said she knows it's what he likes to do. He said that's why he had the entire basement built up in New York.
Howard took a call from Bobo's dead ex-wife from Heaven. She spoke like Bobo with the Elmer Fudd sounding voice. She sniffed just like Bobo too. She told Howard about what it was like to live with Bobo. She said she had to leave him. She said Bobo made her scream out that she was Howard Stern so he could cum when they had sex. She said he had her make her hair curly like Howard's too. She told Howard that Bobo is going to get more lesions all over his body like a Chernobyl victim. She said she threw out Bobo's Howard stuff because he was looking at it all day. Shuli said he likes how she sniffs like Bobo. She said she caught it from him and it followed her to the grave. Howard thanked her for calling in. She told Bobo to eat shit. Bobo said something to her and she said it sounds like he speaks in Howard tongues.
Howard let her go and said she really doesn't like Bobo. Ronnie asked if he drove the speed limit on his way up. Bobo said he was going 65-70. He said they would slow down when there were speed traps. Ronnie said he wasn't allowed to listen to the show on the trip. Bobo said they had to drive so he didn't listen. Robin said he can listen and drive. Bobo said they had conversation. Robin said he was such a liar. Bobo said that was family time. He said he didn't have the radio on. He said they talked about what they were going to do there in New York.
Howard asked what he eats in the car. Bobo said he has an egg sandwich or something. Howard said he has the coffee going and all of that. Bobo said he doesn't even eat when the show is going on. He said he waits until the breaks.
Shuli asked Bobo about where he goes when he's on the road to formulate the questions for the show. Bobo said he goes back to the docks where he used to go. He said he didn't get a chance to write things down. Howard said he hasn't asked a question yet. Bobo said he told Mark that he has his life's regrets. Howard asked how that's a question. Bobo said that's just some thoughts he had.
Ronnie said he has to hear them. Howard said he thinks he might hang up. He asked Bobo if he went down to come up with questions and he came up with regrets instead. Howard said he only has one regret. Robin said that's taking Bobo's calls. Howard said she read his mind.
Howard said before they get to the regrets he wants to take some calls. He took one from a guy who said he's in a better mood after hearing Bobo on the show. He said he feels better about his life.
Howard took another call from a guy who said they need a Bobo puppet. Howard said that is in the works. He said it will have a removable toupee. He said the guy is working on it now. The caller said that Ronnie needs a driving lesson from Bobo too. Howard said they need some time to finish up that puppet. He said they had to add the lesions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he used to be a fan of Bobo but after hearing this and the Trump stuff he can't stand the guy. He said his new name should be Bobo the Slow Adult. Howard said that's interesting. He said they have Wendy the Slow Adult already. He said if they married they'd be the Slows. Howard said how about Slowbo. Ronnie said he likes that.
Howard asked Bobo what his regrets are. Bobo said he should have been a better swimmer after he almost drown while surfing in Long Beach. Howard asked what happened there. Bobo said he was doing fine and then the board came out from under him and hit him in the head. He said he was semi conscious. He said his friends had to pull him out. He said he never went back in the water.
Howard asked what his second regret is. Bobo said he never took more guitar lessons after the kids were born. He said he had to be quiet with the kids.
Howard asked what the third is. Bobo said back in the 80s he should have gotten a hair transplant instead of the hair system. Robin said what an empty life. Howard and Fred goofed on Bobo about all of that. Howard said he has a feeling Bobo was never good at playing guitar. He said he'd like to hear the recordings of those. Bobo said he never had those.
Howard said how about regretting showing up at the hospital when his daughter was born. Bobo said he didn't want to get into that. Howard said he has to go so they can get to Sal's big story. Bobo said he'll see him soon up at the studio.
Shuli asked if he's going to go home or just sit there listening. Bobo said he's got nothing in the house so he'll be there listening. Howard said what a man. He said the man of the house is home. He said it sounds like a superb vacation. He did an impression of Bobo talking about just sitting in the car. Ronnie asked how long it took him to get to New York. Bobo said it took 15-16 hours or so. He said they stopped in Virginia. Howard asked if they stayed in a hotel. Bobo said they did. He said the family bonded. He said they went to some nice places in Atlanta too.
Shuli asked what happened to the game that he created with the book. Bobo said he has it. Shuli said he should play it. Howard didn't want to do it but then Howard said just do it. Bobo asked a question that Howard knew because he wrote the book. Bobo asked another question and everyone knew the answers. Howard said he has to go. He told Bobo to take care.
Howard said at least they got that taken care of. He said he's going to take a break and get to Sal's Father's Day story. Robin said they have to hear about all of that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said there's no one more excited about OJ's new Twitter feed. He said no one should be following him but they're going to. He said they're going to talk about it. He said people were filling up his inbox over that. He said there's so much wrong with his feed. He said he's an old guy who is just discovering it now. Robin said someone got a hold of him and told him this is what he should do.
Howard said if you had any fucking brains, which OJ doesn't, he's just say he got away with murdering his wife and friend Ron and he was found not guilty. He said he gets himself looked up on another charge. He said then he does jail time for 9 years. He said now he's 71 years old and he doesn't just go find a quiet place to retire. He said no, OJ gets a Twitter account. He said the whole thing is filled with people telling him to die.
Howard said this is a video tweet that he put out as his first post. Howard played the clip and goofed on him. OJ said he has a lot of getting even to do. Howard said it's like 'Uh oh!'' He said Twitter didn't verify him either. He said he hopes they don't.
Howard said in the second tweet OJ explained what he'll be doing there. OJ was talking about it being Father's day and a special hello to all of them out there. Howard said how about Ron Goldman's father. He said this fucking guy. He asked if Robin can believe this. He said OJ is claiming there are things he can argue about being not true.
Howard played another clip of OJ talking about how this is his first trip into social media. He said that there are a lot of fake sites out there. He said they're going to take care of that. OJ was talking about how Bob Kardashian was a great guy and he got together with Cris and that whole thing ended. He said he has never had any interest in Cris and he never got any indication that she had any interest in him. He said the stories out there about him being Khloe's dad are just not true.
Howard said OJ is showing that this one thing that was a lie proves that anything ever written about him could be a lie. He said that he claims he never wanted to fuck Cris Jenner. He said that if he had fucked her then she'd be dead. He would have chopped her fucking head off.
Howard played more OJ audio where he's talking about the fake stories about him that are out there. Howard said the media gets it all wrong. OJ let out a laugh so Howard and Fred did their impressions of that.
Howard asked Jason how many people are following OJ. Jason said it was over 600,000 this morning. Howard said he fixed the squawk box. He said you can hear it better. Jason tested it out and it was easier to hear. Robin said it sounds like her pilot now. Howard had JD test his out too. Howard had JD say they're flying at 35,000 feet. JD did that. Fred played an airplane cabin sound.
Howard said he was in his car and listening to the show and you can't hear JD or Gary when they talk to him.
Howard took a call from fake OJ Simpson clips. He said he wanted to say hi to them now that he's on Twitter. OJ said he has to get back to finding Nicole's real killer. He laughed saying he can't keep a straight face when he says that. Howard said he really has embraced the social media thing. OJ said guilty as charged. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said you'd think he'd stay off of Twitter. Robin said they are marking the anniversary of the slow speed chase today. Robin said they were talking about the anniversary last week and Howard got angry all over again. Howard said people are tweeting crime scene photos to OJ. He said it kind of feels good that they're cyberbullying him.
Howard said OJ will probably end up back in prison after posting in something wrong on Twitter. He said he'll do something incredibly dumb and he'll end up back in jail. Robin said even the Kardashian thing is something they probably told him to do to get some attention. Howard said the trolls will get to him. He said he'll end up back in prison.
Howard said he has to take another break and get Sal back in there. Robin said OJ looks great now that he's out of prison. She said he seems perfectly fit. Howard said you'd think he'd just lay low. He said this is going to rile up the Goldman's and his kids. Robin said he never said anything about any of that. Robin said it just went away. Howard said he can't wait to hear who he's for in politics. He said he's giving the OJ stamp of approval.
Howard said they're going to stay tuned. He said everyone should just tweet back at him ''Die!'' He said he claims to be living in a ''no negativity zone.'' Robin said his lawyer said that he has never seen a more upbeat person. Howard said he's hungering for more OJ. He said he can't come out with those videos fast enough. Howard did his OJ voice for a bit before going to break.
Howard said he celebrated father's day with his dad on Wednesday. He said it took him 2 and a half hours to get to his parents house which was only like a 20 mile drive. He said it was a Wednesday in the summer. He said he thought people worked. Robin said rush hour starts at 3. Howard said that's nonsense. He said they sat there with his parents for a while and then he and his daughter went out to dinner. Robin asked what he had for his father. Howard said he didn't get him anything. He said he used to get yelled at when he'd get him a gift. He said his mother would yell at him for sending her flowers. He did his impression of his mom yelling at him about that. He said he sent them fruit and things instead of flowers. He said his mother would call up telling him that they don't want any of that. He had her saying that it's too much and they can't eat it all. Howard asked who would do that. He said it's always a problem.
Howard said he and Emily visited them. He said they just sit and don't leave their place. He said they only leave to go to the doctor. He said they used to go out a little. He said he told them they're never going to die because they don't do anything.
Howard said he saw there's a remake of Chucky. He said he won't see it. He said now it's Artificial Intelligence. He said they changed the story a bit. Robin said she saw the trailer for The Joker and they better dust off the Oscar for Joaquin Phoenix. Howard said Mark Hamill is doing the voice of Chucky. He said he's good with that stuff. Howard said they have to take a break and get to Sal. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that's a good song. He said he can't believe he's dead. He said it seems like he died too young. He said he was like in his 70s. Fred said it was 60s.
Howard said a fan found Bobo in the parking lot out on Long Island. Howard took the call and the guy, Jake, said he's in the parking lot with another fan and they found Bobo hiding out in the lot. He said Bobo is right there now. He said he's just walking in circles awkwardly. Bobo said there were like 4 people there. He said a state trooper came by too. They had Rob from Levittown there too. Howard said thanks and let them go.
Howard asked Jake how his lesions look. Jake said he's wearing a cap so he can't see. Howard told him to take it off. Jake took a look and said they're not that bad. Jake said he's Beetlejuice's brother. Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. He hung up on him and moved on.
Howard said a lot of people enjoyed the Benjy jerking off Sal and Richard bit last week. He read through some of that feedback. Howard said they had the couch professionally cleaned. He said they might have to burn it. He read some comments about how they should burn it.
Robin said Benjy said he didn't think Howard was going to go through with the whole thing. Howard said there's always a problem with Benjy when he's in the studio. Gary said Benjy kept asking for help with the volume of the headphones and then he had to fix them on his head. He said he gave him a headset because he needed both hands free. He said it was insane.
Howard said Gary had to drive Benjy out to Long Island. He said he didn't get why he would ever get involved with him. He said that 2 seconds after getting in the car Benjy was car sick.
Gary came in and said that he had to get out to Long Island and it was bumper to bumper traffic. He said he had 2 other people in the car who weren't getting car sick. He said he had Steve Brandano and someone else from the office in the car. He said Benjy was pulling himself and making a noise. He said he asked what was going on. Howard said he wasn't paying attention to him. Gary said he asked if he wanted to pull over. Benjy told him no but it was going to be brutal from there in. He said he kept grunting and he had a difficult ride. Howard said of course he did. Howard asked who gets car sick. Robin said she does but they know what to do about it. Gary said he told him to open the window and he was wondering if he was going to barf in his car. He said he didn't though.
Howard said he'd tell him to get out and walk. He said that's what his parents would do to him if he was being annoying. Gary said he and the other person in the car were trying not to laugh when Benjy made his sounds. He said it was tough not to. Fred did his impression of Benjy making his noise. Howard said that guy is a pisser.
Howard said someone wrote in about Gary getting involved in the whole hand job thing. Gary said he found it funny. He said that's why he was so eager to get involved.
Howard said last week it was revealed that Sal's dad had some daughters that Sal and his siblings didn't know about. Howard said he fans went off on Sal's dad about that. Howard read trough some of that mail.
Howard said that there was a lot of feedback about he Sal's dad bit they did with the puppet. He said people liked that.
Howard asked if anyone asked him about the hand job. Sal said no one did. He said not even his wife. He said Benjy reached down and wasn't even able to grab it because it went inside. Howard said it was like his dick moved to Canada. Howard asked if it felt good at all. Sal said it was just too weird. He said he had a nice touch but he didn't want that nice touch if that makes sense.
Howard asked if he thinks that Benjy is gay. Sal said he might be bisexual. He said Benjy said he gets excited when he sees a penis so he thinks he would blow a guy. Gary said Benjy wants to come in and explain why he's not gay. Howard said he can but he can't filibuster.
Benjy came in and Howard asked why he'd get in the car if he knows he gets car sick. Benjy said he didn't know how long it was going to be. He said he got dizzy in the car too. He said they were playing singing games and stuff.
Howard asked Benjy what his defense is. Benjy said he is not turned on by men. He said he does find it interesting that his laughter gets crazy when he was doing that. He said there is something so strange about it. He said it's like doing something so taboo. Howard asked what his statement is. Benjy said he's straight. Sal said he isn't. He said he's round, now get out. Howard said he can't just get rid of this guy. They played him out with a song parody. Howard said he has to get to Sal.
Howard said Sal got a lot of sympathy about last week's story. He said that Sal's sister found two new siblings through a DNA test. He said that was a shock to the family. Sal's sister invited the siblings to a Father's day thing.
Sal said his sisters let his mom know about this and she forgave his father for what he did. He said that his dad was crying over it and he regretted it all. He said that he asked for her forgiveness and she gave it. Sal said according to them he's been very kind. He said he asked to see his daughter and she said no but then she came around and his mom wanted to let them meet their father.
Howard said he's sure his mom didn't want to be there. Sal said he thought that too but she was. He said he went to their house on Sunday morning with his wife and kids. He said his 14 year old is very bright and polite. Sal said his wife told his kids that and his son went ''What the fuck is going on in this family?'' He said he didn't yell at him for cursing. Howard said he can't yell at him after doing what he did with the hand job.
Sal said it was just one of the girls who showed up. He said the other one is out of state. Howard asked if the girl was there already. Sal said she wasn't. He said they had a nice brunch and they had a lot of tension in the room.
Robin asked what the first encounter was. Sal said she called his sister's cell phone and he's shitting his pants. He said his mother said something to his father and this was something that happened and they're letting him meet his daughter. Sal said the girl walked in and they embraced. Howard asked if she was pissed about him not taking responsibility. Sal said she considers this a silver lining in her life. He said his dad said he was sorry and the girl told his mom that she appreciates her letting this happen.
Sal said they found out that his daughters have the same exact birthdays as his two sisters. He said it wasn't the same year but the same month and day. Howard said this is hard to believe. Sal said he told his dad that they have the same birthdays as his two daughters. He said he asked what he makes of that and his dad said that's a miracle and they're going to hit the lotto. Robin said he never changes. Sal said he took the two numbers to play the pick 4. He said this is the light at the end of the tunnel for him.
Sal said that his father told him to take all of the birthdays of his 17 grand kids to play the lotto. He said that he thinks he's going to win with those numbers. Sal said he was like wow. He said one daughter is 5 years younger than him and the other is 11 years younger than him. He said he had two hold families. He said this lady is married to a gentleman who believes that these are his kids. Sal said that the guy may have had a feeling that he wasn't their dad. He said that he said some things to them about how he loves their mother more than this so he'll stick around.
Howard said he has Mr. Governale on the phone. Fake Mr. Governale was talking about playing his numbers in the lottery. He said they're going to make it big with the lotto. He said he's going to scratch off tickets now. He did that and didn't win anything.
Howard asked Sal how he feels. Sal said at first he didn't want anything to do with it. He said he felt bad for his mom. He said he has no anger toward his father. He said his sister is a doll and lovely. He said that they kind of had a common bond of the pain. He said his mother was subjected to so much pain and they share this bond. He said they all got along for different reasons but it worked.
Sal said this girl said she had a tough upbringing and she heard that his dad was going to marry this woman. He said that she took it out on the children when it didn't work out. Sal said this woman looked at his dad at dinner and she only knew him as a strange man who came around when she was a child. Howard said that's got to be weird. Sal said that they went to the beach and she was told not to tell her father.
Howard asked if this woman knew the show. Sal said that they are fans of the show and they have two daughters. He said the other woman who lives out of state knows the show too and they are fans. Howard said they must have wondered why it couldn't have been related to Fred instead. Sal said that someone found out they were related to Sal Governale and said ''That explains it.''
Howard said there it is. He said his mom is some sort of saint. Robin said she must be numb now. Sal said it's only a matter of time before someone else pops up.
Howard said in honor of this they have a new Swap Shop phony phone call to play. He said this is a very strong call. He said there's a lot of ball busting going on in this one.
Howard said this host had a rule about calling into the show. He said he was already angry when they called in. Sal said the guy threw them a softball. Howard said the host was saying you can only call in twice and all of these other things. Howard played the clip of the guy explaining the rules of calling into the show. He had rules about how many items you can call in with. Sal said the guy produced the call for them by giving them those rules. Howard said you can call in with one item or two but then you can't call back with more.
Howard played the call that Sal and Richard made to the show. Richard called first to ask about the rules and how that works. He acted confused by that. The host explained it again. Richard asked if he can give him the other item. The host said he can do that. He got hung up on. Howard said it gets better. He said they didn't just leave it alone. Howard said Sal was confused by the rules too. Sal gave his first item and asked if he can give his second item. The host got upset and said it's not that complicated. He said they are doing one phone call per show. He said some people have to get a life. He said they'd take a break and get to more.
Howard said he likes this guy who is yelling at them like he's a school teacher. Howard said after that Richard called back even more confused. He played the clip and Richard called in with his two items. He said he was going to call back with that one though. The host said he can't understand why he doesn't understand. He said he has to get a life. The host asked what is going on. Howard said his guy is a buzz kill. He said just be happy someone is calling.
Howard said Sal called back to ask another question. Sal got on and asked if you can send in an email as well as calling. The host said he has explained his rules. Sal said he thinks he can get in 9 items by calling in 3 times. The host told him not to be an idiot. He said they can't have this going on the air. He said maybe he can come down and host the show. Howard said of course they called back to take him up on that offer. Richard and Sal called in as hosts of the show where they were saying that you can call in with as many items as you want. The host went off on them saying that he's not sure what is going through peoples heads.
Howard said they really irritated that guy. Sal said they were looking for a place to promote Howard's book and they heard the rules and had to do something different. He said it was great. Howard said he was wondering if his siblings would be good at phone calls. Sal said they're normal people. He said that the one he met was very pretty too. He said he'll ask them to come on the show if he wants.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they have to get the sisters in the studio. Howard asked Robin if they have any interest in that. Robin said if they have these stories they might. Robin said they did have this guy showing up in their lives.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had to pull over on the side of the road because he was pissing himself hearing that call. Howard said he heard it on Friday and played the whole series like 4 or 5 times. He said it was so good. The caller said he almost had a heart attack when they said there were no rules when they were hosts. Howard said that was fun.
Howard played the part where Sal and Richard took over the hosting duties. Sal said that guy is great. Howard said he sounds kind of young. Robin said he must be young and frustrated. Howard said the guy has a lot of rules. He said just deal with it. He said don't get all uptight about people calling in. Sal said this is the same guy who said goodbye to DJ Danny who went to work at the water plant.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has the same thing going on in his life as Sal. He asked what he can do to get his sister to shut the fuck up. Sal said he tried but he wasn't able to stop her. Howard said it seems like it was worth it because he liked this girl. Sal said he did. He asked if the caller's mother is alive. The caller, Mark, said she is. Mark said they got the 23 and Me test. He said both of his parents know that these kids are out there and they don't know that he knows. He said his parents are 72 years old and he's only 30. He said they didn't plan him so he's an accident. Howard said this sounds horrible. He said he's sorry for all of them. Robin said it is his sister's right to go find these people but he has the right to say he doesn't want to know.
Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he saw the George Stephanopoulos interview with Trump. Howard said he did and it was great. He said Trump found out that he's dropping in the polls so he's going on other networks other than FOX. He said that he's nervous now because of the poll numbers. Howard said Trump gets crazy and starts saying stuff that's illegal. Howard asked Sal if he'd vote for Trump again. Sal said he doesn't know what's going on. Howard asked if he saw this interview. Sal said he hasn't but he will. Howard said Trump has said there was no collusion but then he said if any foreign government had information for him he'd go meet with them. Sal said he's incriminating himself. Howard said Donald better stay away from interviews.
Howard said George asks basic questions and then follows up with basic questions. He said Donald came off very poorly in that interview. Robin said he thinks he's smarter than everyone else.
Apples asked if he's in contact with George. Howard said George's wife Allie sent him a clip of the interview and then it hit the news. He said it was a big hit. Apples asked if Memet is a big Trump fan. Howard said he is. He said so is Ronnie and Benjy. Howard said Memet said that he's happy that he voted for him because he pisses every one off. He said he doesn't support what he does. Gary said he said he likes that it pisses him, Jason and Brent off in the office. Gary said Memet said that he's happy to piss off the snowflakes in there. Howard said he doesn't understand casting a vote just to piss off your coworkers. Sal said that he's never had to work with Gary. Sal made the mistake of trying to call him an abominable snowman. Howard called him out on that and Sal kept trying to say the word. Howard goofed on him about that for a short time. Fred played a bunch of clips of Sal screwing up words.
Howard said he has to take a pish and get to more. He said he'll do a commercial and then run to the bathroom. He said he'll come back on fire with Underdog Dracula day and other things to play. They went to break after that.
Howard said he does want to mention something big going on there on their channels. Howard said Robin may not even know it but it's the 20th anniversary of the Gary Love tape. He said it's 20 years since they learned of the tape. Howard said Gary begged this girl, Nancy, who broke up with him. He said this tape is more embarrassing to him than anything Gary has ever done. He said it was more embarrassing than the Baba Booey thing and even the pitch. He said Gary called Baba Louie ''Baba Booey'' and he thought they'd forget about that the next day. He said Gary making a video begging this girl to come back to him and the whole thing is embarrassing. Howard said the worst pitch wasn't at Shea stadium, it was on this tape.
Howard said on Friday they have a 20th anniversary special on Howard 101. He said Gary is hosting it. He said he's going to give fans the full history of this tape that has lived on for 2 decades now. Howard said Gary reminds him of Madonna. He said she's always reinventing herself. He said Gary does this with his stupidity. Robin said it's thoughtlessness. Robin said he took his friend and ruined it on the first day that the guy owned it. Howard said Gary still isn't friends with that guy.
Howard said when Sour Shoes calls in and does the ''noine'' thing that's from the love tape. He said Gary saying ''Hello, hello'' comes from it. Robin said the Booey math comes from that too.
Howard said he has made a clip of some of the things that came from that tape. Howard played the clip that had just some of the embarrassing things from that tape. They had Gary saying ''noine'' and doing his Booey math among other things.
Howard said they learned about this from the guy who had stolen this girl away from Gary. He played the clip from 1999 when the guy called in and told them about the existence of the tape.
Howard said Gary came in and gave them details but they had to drag it out of him. He played more of that where Gary explained he had this camera he bought and explained how it worked.
Howard said Gary eventually he admitted he had a copy of the tape. Then they started gathering up money to pay Gary to bring it in. He said even Jackie threw in $1,000. He said he never saw him dip into that wallet. He said they set up two screenings the next day for listeners to come in and watch it. He said the full video of the love tape is up on the SiriusXM app. Robin said they kept stopping the clip as they were playing it. Howard said everyone went nuts when they saw the tape. He said as soon as Gary said ''Hello, hello'' the whole place went nuts. He played a clip from that day when they all watched the video for the first time.
Howard asked what the ''Italian afro'' is. He said he had that in his notes. Robin said it must have been that bouffant that he had. Howard said it didn't take long for people to react to it. He played another clip of people reacting to seeing Gary in the tape.
Howard said it was hard to get through. He said he had so many douche chills. He said it was crazy because every sentence was open for analysis.
Howard said the Booey math thing was so great. He said that there was no way any woman would go back with a guy after saying what he said. Howard played some reaction to that math when he said his personal life was at a 2 and his professional life was at a ''noine.''
Howard played the ''Noine'' thing and said Gary got 20,000 for that tape and he remodeled his kitchen with that money. Howard said the tape continues to give life to things over the years. He said Maria Menounos got engaged on this show and then got married live on TV and he recited Gary's love tape on that special. He played a clip of Kevin Undergaro reciting that part of the tape.
Howard said Steve Harvey was officiating the wedding and you should have seen the look on his face. He said he had no idea what he was talking about. Howard said good job Kevin. He said that's Kevin Menounos. Robin asked if he took her name. Howard said he should have. He said good for Kevin keeping his cool doing that.
Howard said so many great things have come out of that tape. He said go to the app and watch the love tape. He said it's great. He said on Friday they're doing the special on Howard 101. He said the special is almost 4 hours long and you'll hear all the details about the tape. He said you'll hear tons of phony phone calls that were inspired by that tape.
Howard said there were some great song parodies that came out of that too. He played the ''Booey Maguire'' song parody that was big back then. They did that one to the tune of the Bruce Springsteen song ''Secret Garden.''
Robin and Howard goofed on Gary about one of the lines in the song parody. Robin said she loves every word of that tape.
Howard took a call from fake Nancy who said she was young at the time and she didn't know how sweet Gary was. She said she shouldn't have rejected Gary. She said just kidding and said she's married to an investment banker now.
Howard asked Gary if he's excited at all about this special. Gary came in and said that the thing that got him is that the special is 4 hours long. He said they start at when he's first dating her. He said Robin hasn't changed at all because going back 30 years she said that he cheated on Nancy. Gary said there are parts where Howard torments him on the air when he broke up with her. Howard said the fans were pissed at him for busting his balls over that. He said Gary didn't think it was fair what he did to him. Gary said he asked him to lighten up and Howard said ''No.'' Howard asked what man cares that much about a girl. He said that he was like a woman. Gary said then she calls in so there's a lot of set up to explain the whole thing. Howard said he's going to listen to that whole thing.
Robin asked what his relationship is with that tape. Howard asked if it was enough money. Gary said no. He said it's like a penny a play now. He said he got ripped off. He said it does speak volumes that Jackie opened his wallet for that. Gary said that the worst part is Jackie laughing so much at the tape.
Howard said it's 20 years and it's fantastic. He thanked Gary for being such a good sport. He said tune into the app to see that tape. He said it's just a little added bonus for the subscribers. Robin said they have to watch.
Howard said it shows that Gary doesn't know how to talk to a woman. Howard asked what Gary doesn't like about that tape. Gary said the whole thing. He said everything in there is about him and nothing was about her. He said he was very selfish and he came across like a jerk.
Howard said it's Blunder Booey. He said he has Sour Gary doing the whole tape on the phone. Sour Shoes was on the line doing his impression of Gary doing the tape. Howard said he hears something going on behind him that is interrupting him. Sour had the actual tape playing and he was repeating it.
Howard played a clip of Shuli calling underdog and letting her know that it was national Dracula day. Underdog didn't know about that. Shuli was filing her in on something she had no idea about. Howard said this is like when Fred told them that he changed his name to Eric.
Howard said Underdog said they picked the wrong day to celebrate. Shuli told her about how it was the 120th birthday of Dracula and she said it's the wrong number of years. She said it's wrong for the novel and for his life.
Robin said you can't stump her with the facts. Howard said Underdog explains the difference between Vlad the Impaler and Dracula. He played a clip of Underdog talking to Shuli about the things that they suggested for Dracula Day.
Howard said this call went on for 30 minutes with no end in sight. He said Shuli ended it by playing a fire alarm sound. He said you have to hear this. He played the clip where Shuli started making the alarm sound. Shuli said he has to get off the phone and go. Underdog asked him to call her back. Shuli said he'd call her on Tuesday.
Howard said the alarm keeps stopping every time Shuli talks. He said he should try that with Benjy to get him out of the studio. He did his impression of the alarm.
Howard took a call from fake Underdog Lady who was getting all worked up over the whole Dracula day thing. Underdog broke into song while she was talking to Howard. Howard said he has a giant lizard outside his window so he has to go. He made the sound of a flying lizard.
Howard asked why they don't call her and ask what day to celebrate. Fake Underdog started freaking out. Howard said she obviously cares about it so much. She broke into song again. Howard said he has to go. She asked if she can sing one more song. Howard said go ahead. She sang more and Howard let her go.
Robin said she wishes that someone would inform her that Jesus did not speak Latin.
Howard said in this scene this girl asks her dad to watch her having sex. Howard played that clip and the girl asked the guy to just sit down and watch while she sucks this guy off.
Howard said these white guys sound extra white. Robin said they are the worst actors ever. Howard said he hates when they try to sound witty in porn. Robin said they say things that a dad just wouldn't say.
Howard said in another clip the step dad says he enjoyed watching the girl getting fucked. He played that one and the guy said he was very confused watching. The girl was asking if he's jealous. Howard said good thing he's a step dad or else it would be weird.
Howard said the mom is in the next room getting bukakke'd. Howard said what's weird is that they're acting like having sex with a black guy is rebellious. Robin said this is America being great.
Howard played another clip of the woman choking on the guy's cock. Howard played that clip and the woman was gagging on the guy. Robin said she's waiting to hear how Poindexter-ish the dad is.
Howard said the girl made her step dad watch her have sex too. He played another clip where that was happening. Howard said imagine the darkness on the set of that movie. Robin said everyone is crying in that. Howard said happy father's day.
Fake Underdog (Rachel Butera) came in and Mike asked how she would celebrate the holiday if she could go back. Underdog Lady was freaking out and saying that they got the wrong day. She was making all kinds of weird noises and was barely able to speak. Underdog said that they should be celebrating with wine that was blessed by a holy man.
Underdog Lady sang a hymn for the caller too. Howard asked if Ronnie can ask her something. Fred Ronnie asked if she has ever let a man lick her labia. Underdog screamed in disgust. She asked for Mr. Shuli. Fred Ronnie asked another question and Underdog lady broke into another song.
Howard thanked Underdog for coming in to talk to Michael. She said she hopes Howard takes the holy sacrament today and asks for forgiveness for his deeds.
Howard let Underdog lady go after that. She kept moaning and freaking out. Howard said he's going to go calm her down. He went to break after that.
Howard said there is no soap in any of the SiriusXM bathrooms. He said Gary told him a story about the soap. He said the building owners think they're using too much soap so they won't refill them. He said Gary said that it's the fault of the soap dispenser because it portions out too much soap. He said it ends up going twice.
Howard asked Gary what's up with that. Gary said they fixed the bathrooms a few months ago. He said there's something wrong with the dispenser. He said it spits out soap but not in your hands. He said you have to wave your hand to get it. He said you finally get it and then it spits more in your hands as you move away.
Howard asked what happened with the simple days. Gary said the dispenser is too close to your hands in the sink. Gary said he went in there on Thursday when he was there late and he had to shit. He said all four sinks had no soap. He said he got a paper towel and went into their compound and washed his hands in there. He said out there in the other bathroom there is no soap.
Howard said he heard they got some upstairs. Gary said the celebrities go out to the one in the lobby. Howard asked if this is going to be resolved. Gary said as of this morning the soap was replenished. Howard said it's those dispensers. He said he doesn't want to touch a door handle there. He said they must be covered in feces.
Howard said his kids gave him a special phone thing that has an ultraviolet light in it to blast the germs off the phone. He said he was telling the kids the germs must go right back on it. Robin said you knock down the number. Howard said the kids know he's a kook.
Robin asked what he thinks happens when he washes his hands. Howard said he constantly Purells. Robin asked if he Purells when he touches his phone. Howard said no. He said he's consumed with the germs on the phone now. Robin said there he goes complaining about a gift again.
Howard said there's a lot of things going on there in the bathroom. He said someone scratches off lottery tickets and leaves them in the stall. He said Steve Nowicki says that someone out there burps really loud when they shit. Steve got on Gary's microphone and told Howard about that. Howard said he also told him that someone puts boogers on the wall in there. Steve told that story again. Fred played the Jethro Tull ''Aqualung'' riff and Howard sang about people doing this stuff in the bathroom.
Howard talked to fake Alex Jones who was on the microphone in the office talking about what's really going on in the bathroom there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a plumber and he knows about how those dispensers work for like a week and then they stop working. He said the toilets are the same. Howard said he agrees about the toilets. He said he will try to flush his cum soaked tissues down and it takes 5 flushes to get them down. Robin said he's talking about automatic flushes in public toilets. Robin said they're always full of toilet paper and crap. Howard said he uses his feet as hands in the public bathrooms. He said he does it all with his feet.
The caller said you can fix the toilets that Howard is talking about. He said you can adjust the amount of water in the tank. Howard said he has to get this guy up to his apartment to fix it. Robin said she found some super flushing toilets. She said she has those things at home. Howard said his apartment had great flushing but now it's this weak little thing. He said he would flush once or twice a day but now he's using more water than he used to.
The caller said there's another flush valve that has pressure in it to push the water out. He said he should try that out. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Robin started her news with some breaking news. Robin said he was just talking about this person. Robin said Gloria Vanderbilt has died. Howard said that's Anderson Cooper's mom. He said Anderson says he is not getting a dime of her money. He said he believes he's inheriting all of her money. Howard said she was a remarkable woman. He said his life was not a bed of roses but Anderson says she had a good sense of humor. He said they wrote a book together and she was never happier than when he was talking to her about herself.
Robin read a story about Bill Cosby sending out a Father's day message over Instagram. Robin said he wrote that he's ''America's dad'' and it's great to be a father. Howard said that can't be real. Robin said it is. Howard said that's a big thing. He said ''Wow'' a few times when he heard that. Robin said they say that Cosby wanted to decorate his cell with beautiful women. Howard said you might as well. Robin said he particularly likes Megan Markle. She said he wanted others up there too. Robin said he went to two guys names Bugs and King Tut who gave him some magazine clippings to hang. Howard said you'd think after getting thrown in jail for what he did that he'd give up on women.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who asked if he's afraid that he's one of the people OJ wants to get even with on Twitter. Howard said he might be. He did his impression of OJ. Mike asked if he thinks that Trump is afraid to talk about him and mention his name anymore. Howard said he's seeing a lot of weird shit coming out of that White House. He said that they make up a lot of stories about stuff and he doesn't truest anything that's coming out of that place these days. He said when Trump said that he'd take information from a foreign government with George Stephanopoulos and then denies ever saying it the next day. He said that he did say it. He said they have it on tape. He said the very next day Trump says that's not what he said. He said even Mike Pompeo says that he didn't say it. Howard said when they say Iran attacked some boats he can't believe it. He said it's a shit storm in Washington. He said most of the government agencies don't have people running them. Robin said it's crazy what's going on there. Howard said you can't say the Saudis didn't kill this reporter. He said Trump doesn't call him anymore. He said if he did he would ask him what he's doing. He said in his mind he thinks he knows what he's doing. He said there is some crazy stuff going on.
Howard said he usually trusts the government but now, for the first time in his life, he's questioning what's going on. He said that Trump is telling them not to believe the FBI. He said he's not sure what to believe anymore. Howard said Robert Mueller is a republican and Donald says he's a scum bag. Howard said now the problem is that the chickens are coming home to roost. He said this is when the lying fucks everyone's head up. He said this Iran thing he's not sure what to believe. He said he's very concerned. He said he really is. He said he's not sure what's going on. He said he's not sure how you don't appoint people to positions in the cabinet. He said everything is upside down. He said he's not sure how a government can function like this. He said he's never credited anyone with the economy. He said it goes up and down all the time. Mike said it doesn't change in one year. Howard said what's up is down and what's down is up at this point. He said we need stability and calm.
Mike thanked Howard for the book he signed for him last week. He said he got it the next day. Howard said he has to go. He didn't want to get into a whole political discussion. He did a live commercial read a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's tired of this Mike from Maine calling in all the time. He said he's always talking about Bubba. He said he should just shut up. He said he's the worst. He said Mike doesn't deserve a book. Howard asked the caller if he wants one. The caller, Tom, said he would love that. Howard said he's going to send him one. He asked what he wants him to write in there. Tom told him to write something about him being the best radio personality of all time. Howard said he can't do that. Tom shortened it for him to something simpler.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wants a book too. Howard said someone has to buy it. He said he can't give one to everyone. The caller, Maria, said she would love one. Howard said he's not hearing anything in her story that's motivating him to give her one. He said he'll do it anyway because he's in a good mood. He said that this is it, no more books. Howard said if you call in for a book you have to have a story. He asked if she has had any tragedy in her life. Maria said she was adopted and she's not sure if she should do the 23 and Me thing. Howard asked her what she wants written in her book. Maria gave him something to write. Howard put her on hold. He said he should just write ''Good luck with your vaginosis.'' He said she had nothing bad going on in her life.
Howard said as of today, the 17th of June, all other book requests will be tossed with peace and love. He said he is done. Howard told Gary to make sure he gets all of that information and he'll sign the books. Gary said he's all set.
Robin read a story about a Delta airline flight that had to land early because a passenger slapped a flight attendant and then threw up. Robin said there isn't a lot of room to vomit and you're bound to hit people.
Robin read a story about a teenager in Utah that has created a cap that protects a premature baby's hearing. Robin said she loves that. She said this teen is showing some caring. Howard said he needs something like that. He said he would love to have a cap he can put on his head like that. Robin said this invention has won multiple awards.
Howard had Sour Shoes back on the phone to do more of his reciting of the Gary tape. Sour was off doing something else and didn't hear Howard pick up. Sour was doing voices for someone else. Howard said he heard sometimes he just sits and talks to himself. Robin said this might be one of those occasions. Howard asked how ballsy it is to call another show when you're on hold with his show. Sour finally got on the line and said ''Poopies!'' Howard told the guys not to let him call back. He said he's annoying him.
Robin read a story about a video that went viral of a valedictorian who gave a scathing rebuke of the school and staff at the school. Robin had some audio from that. The woman said that her counselor was unavailable to her even when she had appointments. She went off on that person and the school for not letting her know about scholarships. She also went off on a teacher for being intoxicated almost every day of school. Robin said that was a great speech. Howard said it's like ''Thank you and go eat a dick.'' Howard said that's some kid. He said she's some valedictorian. Howard said she went off the cuff. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the mayor of Phoenix apologizing about the arrest of a black mother and father that went viral last week. Robin had some of the audio of that video that went viral when a cop held the couple at gun point because their kid had taken a doll out of a store. Robin said they were in some store and the daughter pulled a doll off a shelf and then the police showed up and screamed at them to get down. Robin said the mother was pregnant and the video has caused outrage. Robin said the couple is filing a $10 million lawsuit against the city.
Robin said Denver is getting into the ice cream business. She said that they have a jingle that they play as the police cruiser is going around. They have the ''Bad Boys'' song playing in the cruiser. Robin said they will be sending around this Copsicle truck to hand out the ice cream.
Robin asked if cowardice is a crime. She said Scott Peterson was a deputy who didn't go in at Parkland while the shooting was going on. Robins said now he's facing charges. Robin said it's 7 felony counts. Howard said this guy had a gun and he didn't go in to stop the shooter. Robin said he says he wasn't sure what was going on and he was outside until he could figure it out. Howard said he would run home himself. Robin said she's not sure if this was cowardice. She said they call him the Parkland coward. Howard said he would have run home and put on a fake moustache. He said he would have gotten a fake passport too.
Robin said she has a lot of news out of the White House. Robin said Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving the white House. Robin said she wanted to leave earlier but she was asked to stay but now she's finally going. Howard said she's the best. He said he was asking why she's leaving. He said someone said she hasn't had a press conference in like 120 days. Howard said maybe she felt like she wasn't doing anything. Howard said he heard she was the one making phone calls for Trump. He said maybe she's not doing that much. Howard said he wants to know what's going on. Robin said she wasn't handling the job the way other press secretaries have.
Howard said she wants to make a statement. He had fake Sarah on the phone to talk about leaving. Robin said she lied on many occasions. Sarah said she did the job so good that they don't need to replace her. Howard said she has said so many controversial things that he's not sure what to say. He thanked her for her service. Robin said Trump said that she would make a great governor of Arkansas where she's going back to.
Howard took a call from High Register Sean who said that his school wouldn't let him be Valedictorian. He said he had excellent grades but they wouldn't let him. He said he went to a voc school. Gary said he went to a vocational school. Sean said he studied auto mechanics. Howard said they don't do that in trade schools. Sean said sure they do you fools. Howard said he has to end the show so he has to go. He said they want to get out of there. Sean kept telling him to call him Seany. Howard called him High Register Seany. He said they'll get an update from him another day. He called him High Register Just Seany since he kept telling him it's ''just Seany.''
Robin got back to her news about the White House. Robin had some audio of Trump talking to George Stephanopoulos about how he wouldn't call the FBI if a foreign government came to him with information about someone running against him. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with Donald. Robin had another clip of Trump getting upset when someone coughed in the room during the interview. Robin said he was asked about the UFO sightings that have been reported lately. George asked him about that and Trump said he wants them to think whatever they think. He said he has had a brief meeting over that. He said that he doesn't think he believe it. He said they'll watch it and see if they find out more. Robin said he said yes and no in the same sentence. Howard said there are no aliens. He said if there was a UFO it's from this planet. He said this is it.
Robin read a story about a Colorado family that is trying to figure out if they had a visit from an alien. Robin said they have video of something that looks like an alien running across this family's yard. Howard said there are no aliens. He said there are cameras everywhere but we can't find one. Robin said Howard didn't see this. Howard said it was him flapping his arms out there. Robin had some audio of this woman talking about what they saw and her son thinking it was someone from Harry Potter. Howard said we're alone, get used to it. He said this is all a freak thing. He said it won't happen elsewhere.
Robin read about the President also tweeting that there will be an epic stock market crash if he's not reelected. Howard said there you go.
Robin read a story about how Alex Jones is in the news because he's wondering who put child porn on his computer. Robin said he went off about that on his show last week saying this is a set up. Robin said he is fighting back with an offer of a reward for anyone who can find out who did that.
Robin read a story about a power outage in Australia because some Kookaburras mated on a power line. Robin said they died right after they came. She said it caused a power outage. Robin said the female apparently extended her wings and it made contact with the power lines.
Robin read a story about Tracy Morgan's Bugatti repairs and how much that's going to cost. Robin said the front bumper is $22,000 and the fender is another $10,000. Robin said they don't include labor in those prices.
Robin read about the box office results and said the new Men in Black was number one. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how he's been trying to watch the RuPaul show. He said he has a new talk show where he's kind of Oprah-ish. He said he comes out in a sort of man's suit. He said he's dressed like a dude and he interviews people. He said he's not even sure where he sees it. He said he doesn't like the show that much. He said he can't stick with it. He said he used to watch Oprah and he'd keep that on the down low. He said he didn't read the book club books but he did read her magazine. He said he thinks he follows her on Instagram. He said he follows some people on there. He doesn't have an account of his own. He said Oprah works really hard on Instagram. He said she has a TV network and she should be putting that stuff up there.
Howard said Oprah is always up to something on Instagram. He said she and Gayle will go on a hike and she'll make a big deal out of it. He said that he gets douche chills but he can't stop watching it. He said she likes strawberries and she'll sing that in the way she does. He said she's all over the top and all happy. Robin asked how he's been able to keep this to himself. Howard said he's obsessed. He said she gets fatter and fatter even though she owns Weight Watchers. He said he's not going to take advice from her.
Howard said maybe he'll start doing a weight loss thing. Robin said people don't really want to lose weight. Howard said the one thing she's not doing is watching her weight. Robin said people like to eat. Howard said she's not losing weight.
Howard said he used to try to lose weight with his mother and sister. He said back in the 60s he just sat around with his mother and sister while they complained about their weight going up. He said his mom would get Melba toast and cottage cheese. He said he was hungry and eating that. He said she got it under control. He said at least someone like Richard Simmons lost weight and kept it off. Robin said Oprah lost weight many times.
Howard said Oprah seems to like bragging about her wealth. He said she sings about eating Lobster Bisque and that's because she has a chef to cook for her. He said she sings it all like a yodel. Robin said she has to check this out.
Howard said he gets annoyed but he is a fan. He said he watches her show. He said he was annoyed by her but he is a fan if he watches. He said he was doing research for their show when he was doing that. Robin said sure he was.
Howard said everything looks great in her life. He said Gayle is in her life. Robin said she's not sure how she does it. She said she's very busy. Howard said it's always some extravagant thing they're doing.
Howard did his Oprah Yodel thing with her singing about what they're about to eat or do together. Howard said it's a party all the time with them.
Howard took a call from fake Oprah who taught him how to do the voice the right way. She had him repeating after her. She had him saying ''I've lost weight 100 times!'' and things like that.
Howard asked how Gayle hops on a jet and goes out to California with her to do basket weaving. Oprah said Gayle has endless energy. Howard thanked fake Oprah for the call and let her go.
Howard said there's a video of this guy who showed what OJ wrote to him with a thumbs up and a dagger Emoji. He said that they've learned from the past that OJ doesn't have great impulse control. He said they can't prove that he wrote it himself but it did come from his account.
Howard said the parody account guy was firing back with questions about him stabbing Nicole and things like that. Howard said OJ is very busy on there. He said he's going to end up in jail or he's going to have to take it down. He said OJ can't be that stupid. He said maybe he was hacked.
Howard said if you know how to hack into Twitter then go into the private sector and make a living. He said you have to be pretty smart.
Sal said he never said that black people had tons of children. He said he's right about his dad having tons of children though. He said he got beatings from his dad too. He said he'd like to apologize anyway. He said he was completely wrong and misled. He said he apologizes from the bottom of his heart. The caller thanked him for that.
Howard said Sal knows how to handle these things. He said he went right into it. Howard asked if Sal has practiced saying ''Abominable.'' Sal said it right after Fred played a bunch of clips from yesterday when he wasn't able to get it right.
Howard said Sal's dad took a beating in the email. He said that guy should not leave the house and be around women. He said those two kids could be the tip of the iceberg. He said there might be more out there. Robin said he may not have stopped until he was old.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she can't believe OJ is allowed on Twitter. She said they should be following Ron Goldman's sister Kim on Twitter instead. She said people are acting like this is a joke.
Mariann said Howard has to check out the show Smothered. She said it's mothers who smother their daughters with attention. Howard said he doesn't want to see that. He said it drives him crazy. Mariann said she'd rather watch YouPorn than that. She said RuPaul's show is horrible too. She asked who is putting these shows on the air. She said it's horrible.
Howard said Norm Macdonald was tweeting OJ yesterday. He asked what he was saying. Gary read one of the tweets that he sent. Norm told OJ to be careful because people might recognize where he is with the video he posted. Gary said it's not even a funny one and he's not sure what he was doing there. Howard asked how he lives on a golf course. Robin said he had some money that was not something the Goldmans could touch. She said those weren't included. Gary said he has a NFL pension and a SAG pension that can't be touched. Gary said they think he gets about 25 grand a month from those.
Gary said Norm had another tweet. He said Norm wrote that it might be fun to golf with The Juice. Howard said he's making jokes. He said just don't win. He said OJ is a murderer and people are fucking with him. Robin said he only murders people who are close to him as far as she knows. She said she doesn't think she'd be in danger with him.
Howard said if he had that power to kill someone he'd do it like Dexter. He said he'd only kill bad people. He said he'd try to do some good with it.
Howard said Norm might be taking the funny approach with OJ. He said maybe he should start tweeting at OJ. He said he could write something about how he'd try to kill Kim Jong Un instead. He said that Dexter did it. Robin said that was a TV show. Howard said he did it though.
Howard asked Brent if he feels bad leaving. Brent said he feels for all of those guys. He said they're good guys. Howard said Bubba had on that guy Ned the other day. He said he has a woman on there with him who sounds professional. Brent said it might be his sister. Howard said it didn't sound like his sister. He said this was someone different.
Howard said Bubba has the race track. Brent said that makes money. He said he just sold his house. He said that was in the paper down there. Howard asked if he still lives in Tampa. Brent said he does. He said he's still on the grid for now.
Howard said he thought they had a falling out. Brent said it's like a family member though.
Howard asked Brent what's going on with his health. He said he heard he passed out at a picnic or something. Brent said he has a titanium plate in his chin from falling back in 2012. He said he has a problem with passing out. He said he's not sure what it is yet. He said he's working with a doctor there in the city on it. He said they have done tons of blood panels on him. He said he laid out everything he does to the doctor and she can't figure out what it is.
Howard asked if he has tried not drinking and doing pot. He said he puts tinctures in things too. He said he has his vape pen in his mouth all day long too. Jason said he's constantly using it.
Howard said how about trying not to use it for like a month. He said maybe that's what's exacerbating the whole thing. Brent said he only drinks on Friday and Saturday usually. He said he did drink on Sunday for his birthday this weekend.
Jason said they were out from 4 until 11:30 over the weekend. He said they went out to dinner and Brent got up to leave with Katelyn and then Brent just dropped to the ground. He said he was just standing there. Howard asked how he didn't hurt himself. Brent said this was the second time. He said he asked Katelyn to grab him when he fell. He said she sat him down and then another one came on and he fell back on the curb. He said it happens.
Howard said Shuli said he has never seen him pass out at work. Brent said he's an asshole. He said it has happened twice there. Howard said he still says stop smoking. Jason said when you smoke a lot your blood pressure can drop. He said he thinks Gary's wife Mary passed out when she smoked pot. Howard said they said that he smoked a tarantula joint over the weekend. Jason said that's a joint with weed and some hash and some other stuff in the joint. Brent said he took like 2 hits off of that. Howard said he would say for the next 3 months don't smoke and don't drink. Brent said he can definitely not drink. Howard said try it just to see if he can stop passing out.
Howard said he heard that Chris Wilding said that he can't stop smoking. He said he's addicted. Brent said he has to use it for PTSD. Jason said he was able to quite for a month when Howard challenged him to do it. Howard said he wanted to see if he had a problem. He said Brent has to stop for a few months to see if he'll stop passing out. Robin said it might be a hormonal problem. She said it might not be the weed.
Howard said he heard that they had set up Brent with some reporters to got Tampa for that swinging thing and he didn't set it up. Brent said he waited until 5 weeks out and then he called a guy he knows down there and asked for a room. He said the guy wanted some advertising. He said he's probably going to set that up for around Thanksgiving. Howard said they had arranged for 2 people to follow him and now he's not going. Robin said you can't tell people to make plans and then back out. Howard said Shuli is saying this shows he's not really swinging.
Brent said that he's going to a Mermaid themeed swinging party this weekend. He said he's not lying about it. Howard asked what he's wearing there. Brent said nothing special but his wife is dressing up. He said she's wearing the sea shells on her tits and Spandex that looks like fish scales. He said she won't have a tail or anything. He said he'll just wear a tight black t-shirt and jeans.
Howard said he should dress up like a pirate. He said he can put a lighthouse on his head. Shuli was in so Howard asked what he thinks. Shuli said it's very convenient that he's backing out when they have people ready to cover these escapades. He said they never materialize. He said it was canceled when Katelyn got injured in a mosh pit. Brent said he told Will she was ready to go days after that. He said 5 weeks out was plenty of time to book the trip too.
Gary said that Brent was the one who said he was going on the trip and they booked people to go because he said he was going. Howard said Brent won't be there but everyone else is going. Brent said he should have been more clear on that.
Howard asked Shuli if he would stop smoking for a few months if he was passing out. Shuli said he thinks that Brent is just a lightweight and he can't handle it. He said they split a brownie at the soccer game and Brent ended up talking into his phone the whole time.
Howard asked if Shuli saw Brent pass out. Shuli said he wasn't there but some of those vapes can get to you. Howard asked if he's cracking up. Brent said no.
Howard asked what that Wham oil is he's smoking. Brent said that he has a buddy who puts it out. Howard asked what it is. Shuli said it's a top that goes on vape pens. He said it's for aches and pains. He said it's a THC concentrate. Shuli said he likes the old school stuff himself. He said he's never passed out from it though. Brent said this has hit him when he's not high.
Howard said this is Brent high on edibles talking into his phone doing a play by play at a baseball game. He played the clip and said he's really fucked up. Howard said he's like Brent Cossell.
Howard asked how long he passes out for. Brent said it's like a second. He said it happens and he falls down. Robin said it is a blood pressure thing. Robin said that you pass out so your blood pressure can equilibrate.
Howard said he hates to break it to Brent but he might have to stop with the drugs. Robins said they have a drug addict there telling him to stop. Howard said maybe it's the Wham oil or whatever it is.
Howard said just look at the look on Brent's face when you tell him he might have to stop smoking. He took a call from fake Brent who was giving real Brent some advice on THC. Howard spent a minute talking to him about swinging and things like that. Fake Brent took a hit off a bong and said he isn't a light weight. Then he passed out snoring. Robin asked how long this has been going on. Brent said since 2012.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Brent is partying too much and his body is trying to adjust. He said that's happened to him before. He said he had the same problem. Howard said he believes that. He said that the drugs are really strong these days. Brent said he only does weed and beer. The caller said maybe it was the amount of beer. Brent said he did have a long day of drinking beer that day.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said this conversation is hilarious. He said he smokes until he passes out. Brent said it has happened at work multiple times when he's not smoking. Howard said he is a heavy consumer of weed and weed products. Ralph said his eyes were really red the other night. He said he saw him pass out pretty much. Howard said Ralph told Jason to run over to him when he passed out.
Howard said no one in the office has seen Brent pass out. Brent said he passed out by the elevator once and one of the guys saw it. He said this one came on fast. He said he usually has time to get some orange juice or something. Robin said none of this makes sense.
Howard said passing out is a serious thing. He said he could have a stroke or something. He said it would seem logical to him to stop with the smoking weed. He said you'd think the doctor would tell him to try not smoking for 3 months and see what happens. He said just see if it improves the situation. Ralph said it might go away after 2 weeks.
Howard said he talks about his drinking in his book (Howard Stern Comes Again). He said that his liver enzymes were raised and the doctor asked him to stop drinking for 3 months just to figure it out. He said he didn't want to stop but he did it. He said he got his blood test and his levels were all normal. He said that he has a sensitivity to alcohol. He said that he might as well not drink. He said he doesn't drink anymore.
Howard said just try not smoking for 3 months. Howard said if that doesn't help then go back to smoking. Shuli said if you stop for a while then you'll be more sensitive to it. He said that it might end up being too much. Howard said he'd pass out too if he saw someone else fucking his wife.
Howard said what he needs to do is become a boring, middle aged man. Brent said fuck that. Howard said he heard Brent got a tattoo. Brent said it's a death metal band called Insomnia. Shuli said he just became a fan and got the tattoo. Brent said he can do whatever he wants to. Howard said he's putting a logo of a band he just got into. Brent said it's been 2 years. Shuli said a couple of years ago he said he wasn't into Amon Amarth but then he put up posters and got all in on them. Shuli said he doesn't have an Amon Amarth tattoo. Howard said he should get a tattoo of The Bachelor logo. Shuli said he can get a rose. Howard said he can put that on his ass so when guys fuck him they'll see it.
Brent said he has a bunch of tattoos of bands he likes. He said he has a Howard Stern tattoo as well.
Howard took a call from Brent from the Future who was on life support an mumbling like Leon Spinks. Howard asked if he has changed his behavior. The guys had Leon Spinks mumbling unintelligible stuff.
Howard said it's a serious thing to pass out and end up with a plate in your chin. He said he passed out at this party.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a nurse and Brent is a fucking moron. She said that there is a systemic issue happening with him. She said that there's something going on there and there are tests that need to be done. She said he should see a neurologist. Howard said Shuli doesn't pass out from it. Shuli said he never has.
Brent said he's glad this isn't his nurse. He said she just called him a fucking moron. The caller said that she wouldn't talk to him like that in the hospital. She said don't start with him you fucking drug addict pig. Brent called her a whore. He said she's not a doctor anyway. He said she's a nurse. The caller said she likes to take care of patients and doctors don't do that anymore.
The caller said Brent is going to drop dead from this. Brent said good. Howard said he's going to be in a coma and he'll have to go visit him. He said he'll be laying there with a tube down his throat and he'll have to try talking to him.
Howard said Brent should stop smoking for 3 months. Brent said he will consider it. He said drinking he can stop. He said that's done. Howard said Brent will be in a coma for a year and he'll go down there to ask if it's okay to grab his wife's tits.
Ralph said that Brent was out of it after he passed out. He said he wasn't able to walk after. Brent said that's not true. He said he didn't need to be carried. Howard asked Jason what happened. Jason said Katelyn asked him to help move Brent to the Uber. He said he wasn't even making sentences. He said he was out of it. Brent said he was fine. Howard said this is so classic. He said he's in denial. Jason said he loves Brent but he and Katelyn had to drag him to the Uber. He said his feet were moving but he wasn't able to move on his own. Brent said he walked under his own power when he got to his apartment. He said his wife didn't want him to take that chance.
Ralph said they were sitting on the curb for like 20 minutes. He said they thought he had left.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't have Gulf War Syndrome. He said he'd fine and he has to stop smoking weed. He said he has to stop with the weed lube stuff. Howard said he's so into the weed.
Jason asked if he had edibles that night. Brent said he only had 10mg. Shuli said you don't know until it's in your system.
Howard took a call from an even meaner nurse who was cursing Brent out about his marijuana use.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who told Brent he should step the fuck back. Brent said he's going to take advice from a drunk who lives in a trailer with one arm. Howard said he should try it for 3 months and see if his health improves. Robin said that he's had this since 2012 and he's not trying it yet. Ralph asked if he can stop.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a sniper. He asked how he can have PTSD after being in the Gulf War that lasted like 3 days. Brent said his PTSD was from his childhood trauma. He said it's more than that.
Shuli said that Howard should have PTSD if Brent has it. Howard said he doesn't have time to deal with it. He said he just wants to get through the day. Brent said Howard sees a psychiatrist for years from his trauma.
Howard said being a sniper must be cool. The caller said he gets used as a scout a lot so the sniping isn't all the time. Howard said they have a name for it when they have a target to get. Howard asked what they call it. The caller said they just call them targets.
Howard asked the caller, Tony, if he's the guy who calibrates the wind and stuff. Tony said he was a spotter. Brent said this guy does all the math. He's the higher ranking guy.
The guys asked Tony more questions about his time in the service. Brent shared some of his stories too. Howard said Shuli is an expert on Call of Duty. Shuli said he had a great shot from a long distance in PubG and it was fucking amazing. He said that's how sad his life is.
Howard asked Tony if you aim for the head or the body. Tony said you aim for the head. He said if you hit the body it takes a long time to die. He said you have to put 2 in the head right away. Howard said the specialty is hitting someone from far away. Tony said the longest shot they ever took was about 350 meters. Howard asked how long that is in feet. Tony said that's about 380 yards. Howard said that's pretty far.
Brent asked if they use a scope. Tony said yes. Brent said a Marine can use iron sights and hit you from a long distance. Tony said he could do that too. Jason said in Call of Duty you always try to get the scope. Howard thanked him for his service.
Howard said they're hitting someone from 3 football fields away. He said that's impressive. Tony said that he has to hang up because he's driving a truck and going into a weigh station. Howard let him go after that.
Shuli said when he was on the Jay Thomas show they had a sniper call in frequently. He said that guy came home and had to go back and do another tour because he couldn't take it at home. He said he sent him a 50 caliber spent shell too.
Howard asked Brent when he's going to the mermaid thing. Brent said this weekend. Howard asked if he'll be weed free. Brent said he doesn't want to be. Shuli asked if they can cover it. Brent said it's a private residence. He said they're not going to let anyone in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe Katelyn is trying to poison Brent. Howard said she's like the black widow. Brent said she takes very good care of him. Brent said she kept him from falling. He said the guys didn't see that first time. He said she works out and she's really strong.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they should just make Brent wear a football helmet around for a month. Howard said he should do that. He said he'd do that if he passed out and smashed his chin.
Howard said all he knows is that if he was passing out on a regular basis since 2012 he'd be in a panic and he'd eliminate all substance. He said he'd get rid of alcohol, weed, Wham oil and everything else. Ralph said you do that after one time. Howard said that's right.
Howard said one test like his liver test and he was done with alcohol. Shuli said Howard has quit everything and he's never even passed out.
Howard asked if Brent is working out hard to make sure he's ready for this weekend. Brent said he has been. He said that he's trying to be fine tuned. Shuli asked if he'd do that just for his wife or just for strangers. Brent called in a square. Ralph said he is making a good point. Brent said Ralph has lived alone his whole life so he knows nothing about relationships.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Brent is sounding like an addict. She said 3 months is nothing and if you can't give it up for 3 months then you're an addict. She said it's like Richard not being able to give up drinking for October because it was Halloween. Howard said Richard would tell you he's an addict. He said Brent is acting like he's not an addict. Howard told him to raise his right hand and say he's off weed for 3 months. Brent said he's off alcohol for sure. He said he doesn't want to deal with the world. Howard said he's been through war, the Bubba Show and trauma in his childhood.
Gary said Sal wants to know if he can tea bag Brent after 3 months if he tests positive. Howard said he's not saying this to be an asshole but he has to stop this for 3 months. He said he has to go to a neurologist to look into this thing. Brent said he has had his heart checked. He said things have been checked and it looks okay. Robin said he's still passing out though.
Howard asked if Jason could give it up. Jason said he has. Howard asked if Shuli could do it. Shuli said he did when they were pregnant with their first kid.
Shuli told Brent to just give it up for 3 months. Brent said that he has the summer coming up. He said they have Jason's barbecue coming up too.
Jason said he thinks that if he goes 3 months without passing out it might not get to him. He said he's not sure if he's capable of thinking that marijuana was hurting him.
Howard asked Jason if he was using that vape pen that night. Jason said Brent was using it. Howard said he passed out that night.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Brent should get a tattoo of himself laying with his face on the curb. He said maybe he's passing out from the shock of being a 7.
Robin said 9 percent of people who smoke pot are addicted. She said she thinks that he's the 9 percent.
Jason said he's able to stop smoking when he goes to his inlaw's house. He said that he can stop like that. Brent said he can do that too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Brent has a problem and it's probably an addiction. Howard asked if he has passed out at any orgies. Brent said he has not. The caller said that he's addicted to the swinging thing too. He said that's an addictive personality. The caller said he's 9 years clean and he thinks that Brent is responding to this like an addict.
Howard took a call from another woman claiming to be a nurse. She said Brent needs to see a cardiologist immediately. She said that he could have something going on with his heart. She asked if he uses anything for his erection. Brent said he does use Viagra and Cialis recreationally. The caller said there you go. Howard said he likes her bedside manner. He said she didn't call him an asshole like the other nurse did.
Howard said just look at Brent's face when he tells him to stop smoking for 3 months. Robin asked if he could do a month. Brent said yes. He said he has Jason's barbecue coming up though. Howard said he doesn't think he could make it through today.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said that Bubba is still on the radio. He said he's on in Charleston and Canada. Brent said he's not on in Tampa. He said that he didn't know he's on in Charleston. Howard said he thought he was still on.
Mike said that Michael Vick killed dogs and he has a life and Bubba didn't do anything that bad and he's having a tougher time.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that he's putting himself and others at risk on the highway if he's driving. Brent said he hasn't driven in 3 years. Bobo said okay then. He said he has to wait 3-4 hours if you smoke weed. He said you can't drive. The guys yelled at him that he hasn't driven in 3 years. Howard said just let Bobo have his thing. Bobo said he's all for recreational use but don't get in a car and drive. Brent said he hasn't driven in 3 years so that's not going to happen. He said he's not a good driver anyway.
Fred did his Bobo impression and goofed on him. Bobo was also telling people to put their hands at 9 and 3 on the steering wheel. He said that way the air bag sends your hands off to the side. He said if they're at 10 and 2 then you'll get black eyes if the airbag goes off. Howard and Fred did their impression of Bobo giving advice on driving. Brent said driving is so boring. Robin said she loves to drive.
Howard thanked Bobo for the call. Bobo said speaking on your phone in your car makes it 25 times more likely to get into an accident. Shuli said he has texted in his car so he's a hypocrite. Bobo said he has talked into his Bluetooth but he tells his students that you're not ''con-ji-tive'' when you do that. Howard said he sounds like a moron. He asked where he came up with ''con-ji-tive.'' Howard said it's cognitive. He said it's not ''con-ji-tive.'' They played a Bobo song parody after that. Howard said that's a good song. Bobo asked if that was Psych.
Howard said he has Bobo's wife on the line. He took the call from fake Bobo's wife who was talking like Elmer Fudd. Howard hung up on her when she said that she smokes ''quack.''
Howard said he has to end this. He said they've been talking for an hour and a half without a break.
Howard said the main point was to let Brent know that he's a brother and he heard this report from Jason about him passing out. He said some of the guys saw this happen. Howard asked Chris if he has anything to add. Ralph said it was very disturbing.
Chris came in and told Howard that he came within inches of hitting his head on the sidewalk. He said he has seen it happen before and it worries him. He said that he would get bummed out if he found out that he passed out and got hurt with no one around. He said he loves Brent and he waiting him to get help. Chris said he thinks that he has something going on with his blood pressure and he has to stop with the vape pen. He said he's on that thing for hours. He said that he thinks it's fucking with him. Brent said he's listening. Chris said he doesn't want to see him injured over something like Wham oil. Brent said that they don't know if that's it.
Howard asked why Katelyn is annoyed with them. Chris said she doesn't want them to make it out to be something it's not. Howard said they're just trying to figure it out. Shuli said everyone there cares about him. Chris said if he's worried about anxiety and sleep then maybe try CBD. Howard said he has to stop with everything.
Howard asked if Katelyn wants to come on the air. Chris said he doesn't think she wants any of this on the air. He said she doesn't think this is fair.
Howard took a call from another nurse who said that she thinks it sounds like a seizure coming on the way he described it. She said that it could be that because there are many types of seizures. Howard asked if he convulses. Ralph said he was just really high on pot.
Howard said he doesn't know but he's giving this thoughts on this. He said he thinks he'd give up all substances for 3 months and see what happens. He said that's easy. Howard said if he was his doctor that's what he'd tell him to do. He said it's a no brainer.
Chris asked what the next step is. Brent said that he'd have to go into the hospital and they'd induce it.
Howard took a call from a fake nurse who said this is perfectly normal and he's just fine doing all of this stuff. She said he should drink more and do some cocaine too. Howard said maybe other drugs would keep him from passing out. She said try crack too.
Howard said there's a theory that he hurt his head in an MMA fight and this is from that. Brent said that was in 2007. Howard said he heard that Brent was so high once that he was playing poker and forgot that he had folded and kept playing.
Shuli said when he gets high on pot he's still in control. He said alcohol is different. He said he forgot that Ralph got up and walked over to him. Brent said he did not come over to help. Jason said he got up and ran over to him. Ralph said he and Chris thought it would be a good idea of Jason went.
Howard asked if Ralph is talking to Chris now. Ralph said it's gay pride month so he figured he'd talk to him. Chris said Ralph needed a ride to a poker game so he got the text. Ralph said he gave him a chance to make up for what he did.
Howard said he heard that Ralph and Chris were giggling like kids at the poker game. Chris said someone said that Ralph is in love with him. Howard asked if he would suck Ralph off. Chris said no way. He said they're friends and it would get really weird. Howard asked what he is on a scale of 10 to him. Chris said he's not going there. then he gave him a 7. He said it has nothing to do with his looks. He said he's not sure if he's gay or not.
Shuli said that Chris has this ability to tell you if someone would be a top or a bottom. Chris said Howard would be a top. He said Ralph would be a bottom. He said Memet too. He said that they'd be a whiny bottom bitch boy. He said Fred would be versatile. Howard said he can attest to that. Chris said Gary would be a bottom. He said Shuli would be a top. He said he thinks he's hiding some impressive equipment. Chris said that JD is a top. He said Richard and Sal are both bottoms.
Howard said he heard that he fucked a Zumba instructor. Chris said he did. He said they were just texting after he met him on Tinder. Brent said the guy is an instructor at this gym. He said he has been to those classes.
Howard asked Chris what happened. Chris said he was out with Brent on Sunday and he was really antsy this weekend. He said he was drunk and said he should do something. He said he blew the guy for a while. He said it was fun. He said he had the body of a god.
Howard asked Chris about seeing Nowicki's cock outline. Chris said it was very impressive. Shuli said Chris has a crush on Will too. Chris said he has very exciting sexual energy.
Howard asked if Trump would be a top or a bottom. Chris said he'd be a top. He said Jon Hein would be a power top. He said he'd do everything but rape you. He said he wouldn't even use lube.
Howard asked Ralph if he would be a whiny bitch bottom. Ralph said he doesn't think so. Chris said he thinks that Jason would be cuddly. Howard said he has to end on a positive note. He said Brent has to try not smoking for 3 months. Shuli said he'll do it with him. Brent told him to shut up you square. Shuli said he wasn't going to do it anyway.
Howard said no one in the back office is wiling to give up weed with Brent. Howard asked Chris if the Incredible Hulk is a top or bottom. Chris said he's a top when he's Hulk and a bottom when he's Bruce Banner. Howard took a call from Hulk who said he's mostly top he thinks. Howard asked if he has been with a man. Hulk said he doesn't think so. He said he thinks he'd want to be a top in that situation. He changed to Bruce banner and said he'd be a bottom. Then Hulk came back and said he's a top... probably. Robin said if he's Bruce and getting it in the back then Hulk might come out. The guys said they should have seen Hulk at the party. Howard asked if he once shit his pants while he was on mushrooms. Hulk said he did. He said that's why he doesn't do them anymore.
Howard said he gets nervous when someone is passing out. He said he should get off the weed for a couple of months. Shuli said he should turn this place into a rehab. Howard said the guy is passing out so he has a medical issue. Ralph asked when the last time was that this happened. Brent said it's been a couple of months. He said Ben had to help him up. He said he felt it coming when he was about to pass out. He said it's been a while. Howard said he's been talking for 2 hours now so they have to end this. He said they found out that Ralph is a whiny bitch bottom. Shuli said as if they didn't know that.
Howard said Brent is swinging this weekend. Brent said he is and no one is allowed to come to that one but Shuli can come to another one in Astoria. Howard said he's going to leave everyone with an orgy song. Howard hung up on Ralph and played the song as they were going to break.
Howard said he's very excited that they have Russell Crowe coming in tomorrow. He said he got an advance copy of the show he's in. He said it's just 3 episodes of this series where Russell plays Roger Ailes. He said he's the guy who invented FOX News. He said he thinks that this is every bit as good or better than that movie ''Vice.'' Robin said this is better. She said this is right on it. Howard said he loves this guy in Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind. He said he wants to talk tot this guy. He said he could give a master class on acting.
Howard said they'll find out everything tomorrow. He said he gets rid of his accent when he's playing Roger Ailes. He said it's really creepy when he puts his hands on the women in the show. He said the makeup is really good too. Robin said you forget he's not Roger Ailes. She said she completely forgets and he becomes Roger.
Howard said this is like the play he wrote called FOX News the Musical. He said Russell will be in there tomorrow. He said he'll come back and give away a Lady Gaga thing. He said they have some tickets to the Apollo theater show she's doing. He said it would be best to give it to someone from New York. He said he's not paying for you to fly in. He said fuck that.
Howard said he's behind on breaks so he has to take another one now. They went to break after that.
Howard said he talked about OJ and his Twitter feed. He said he has a big Lady Gaga fan on the phone but she's in Colorado. Howard picked up on her and the caller said that he's one of the funniest people in the world. Howard said the concert is there in New York. He said it'll be difficult for her to get there. She said she'll get there. Howard said it's a tough pair of tickets to get. He said the concert is on Monday. She said she knows. Howard said he's not paying for her plane.
Howard said Lady Gaga is dong this concert for SiriusXM. He said he's not going because it's on a Monday night. He said she wanted him to introduce her but he can't do it. The caller, Sarah, said ''Oh Howard!'' Howard said he can't do it. He said he likes to get into bed and go to sleep. He said he has a whole routine. He said his mom started in on how beat he looks the other day.
Howard said he and Emily went over to visit and his mother knew he was tired from being in 2 hours of traffic. He said she called him up the next day and said he looked beat. Howard went into his impression of his mother and told Robin what she said to him. Howard said she calls all upset and he's thinking his dad died or something. He said she tells him it was wonderful to see him and Emily and then she says he looked so tired. Howard said he was tired. She asked what was going on with that. Howard said he got up at 4 in the morning and did a radio show. He said then he got in a car at 3 o'clock and had to drive mid-island. He said it took 2 and a half hours to get to her. He said she said he looked tired. He said he was tired. She asked why he's doing this to himself. He said he can't sit home all day in an old age home. Howard said she told him he's doing too much.
Howard had his mother telling him about how he has to just sit and do nothing like his father. She says that human beings weren't meant to do anything so he should rest. Howard said he works for a living. He said he thinks she wants him to stop working. He said a lot of people won't have money flowing if he stops working. Sarah said please don't stop working, ever. Howard said she wants him to work himself right into the ground.
Howard said he and Robin have to sit down and figure out what he's going to do. He said he went to dinner with Jim and Scott the other night and they want to know what's going on. Howard said he has a big plan in his head but he hesitates to tell them because it will take a lot of energy to do it. He said he has his mother in his head telling him to stop. He said they should call his mother.
Howard asked how big a fan Sarah is. She said she found out about her in 2016 and she listened to her album and she fell in love. She said her mother had passed away around that time and the album was great.
Howard said they're going to play a game where Gary clears his throat to Lady Gaga songs. He said they call him Lady Baba. Howard said if Sarah gets 3 right she wins. Howard said this one won't count. He played the clip of a song Gary was clearing his throat to. Sarah said she's not sure what that is. Howard said this is an easy one. Howard replayed it for them so they could try again. Sarah said ''Born this way.'' Howard said it's Edge of Glory. He said come on. Sarah said she's ready to give it another try.
Howard said just get one right and he'll give her the tickets. He said that was the easiest one in the whole game. Sarah said she knows all of her songs. Howard said apparently not. Howard played the next song and Sarah that's fucking hard. Howard asked if it really is. Sarah said she's totally panicking. Howard said Fred just threw up. Robin said she's not even sure. She said she agrees with Sarah that it's really hard. Howard replayed the song for Sarah. She said she's going to say ''Poker Face.'' She was right. Howard gave her the tickets.
Howard did his impression of Gary clearing his throat. He said she's going to Lady Gaga. He said he can't listen to Gary clearing his throat anymore. He said Sarah won the tickets. Sarah said dreams do come true. Howard said this is in honor of them merging with Pandora. He said they're going to air the concert on Howard 101 as well.
Sarah was crying so Howard said that's what they want to hear. Sarah said she loves them so much. She said it's an honor to have been able to play the game. Howard told her to hold the line and they'll set her up.
Howard said she's a big fan. He said if she didn't get that one he was going to give her this. He played another clip of Gary clearing his throat to ''Shallow.'' Robin got it right.
Howard said there you go. He said he thought they were easy but evidently not. Robin said that was the easiest one. Howard played another one and Robin said that sounds like a message. Howard said it's Morse code. He said it's actually ''A Million Reasons.'' He said they're not easy to listen to.
Howard said his favorite was Poker Face. He played another one and Robin said that's ''Born This Way.'' Howard said she's right. Howard said he bets she gets this one. He played another one and Robin wasn't sure what that was. Howard said that was ''Paparazzi.''
Howard said he saw Paula Abdul on some show and she was performing and it appears she doesn't sing at all. He said he's never seen her sing with an acoustic guitar. He said here's this other weird thing going on.
Howard said Paula Abdul was on the RuPaul show or something and she was saying she has a lot of problems. He said Jason was telling him about this. He said she claims she survived a plane crash. He said she claims she hit her head and had 16 cervical spine surgeries or something. He said she keeps using that as an excuse for why she sounds like she's on something. Howard said the guys can't figure out when that plane crash was because the dates keep changing. Howard said he'd like to get her in there to clear that up.
Jason came in and said that she claims she hit her head very hard and she disappeared for 7 years. Howard said there's no way she'd make that up. Jason said that she's been telling this a long time and they didn't investigate this right away. He said she claims she was a major star at the time. He said they weren't able to find any information about the crash. Jason said they contacted the National Transportation board and they had nothing either.
Howard said they have something from 2003 when they mentioned it. Gary said one of the tellings of the story have her doing a big show the next day so it doesn't make sense.
Howard said someone claims that they worked at a Starbucks where Paula kept calling to order Chinese food.
Jason said that she was just on the RuPaul show and she told that story. That's when the story about the plane crash being a mystery came out. Robin said if she believes it then she would pass a lie detector test.
Howard had a clip from the show where Paula told the story on RuPaul's show. In the clip Paula said near the end of her Spellbound tour she was in a private plane and she hit her head when they crash landed. She said that she withstood 15 spinal surgeries. She said she took some time off and ended up reappearing on American Idol. Robin said there is no such thing as a small plane crash so there would be some information about this. Howard said maybe it just had an emergency landing. Jason said she said the engine blew up and the wing fell off.
Howard said he thinks Stamos fucked Paula. Jason said he thinks he did and he did the 1990s Paula Abdul.
Howard played the clip from the RuPaul show and said he really sounds like a woman in that clip. Howard said he doesn't know the answer for this story. He said it would be such a great thing to goof on if it was fake.
Howard said RuPaul was dressed like a man during that interview. Robin asked why he's RuPaul then. She said that's his drag queen character. Robin said he has another name. Howard said it's just RuPaul. Jason said it's just confusing. Gary said that's his real first name.
Howard said it would be great to have Robert Mueller investigate for 2 years to find out what happened.
Robin said there's a new show on HBO called Euphoria and this guy Eric Dane is going to be showing full frontal nudity. Howard was still in his agent character talking about the Khaleesi. Robin said HBO is so desperate that they're going to have male nudity.
Howard said he's watching a show called ''What If'' on Netflix and they only show man ass. He said he knew the director was gay when he saw that.
Agent Howard was talking about how he convinced the Khaleesi to take her top off in Game of Thrones. He said when you're a big star you don't have to do nudity. He said Jennifer Aniston never showed her tits. He said she never had to. Howard said this is the world we live in. He said sometimes showing your nips is a good move. He said the Khaleesi has nice tits. He said no hits, show your nips. Robin said nudity is more important to men as they get older. Howard said everyone knows the Khaleesi now. Robin asked what her real name is. Agent Howard said he's not even sure. He said they don't know her name at the agency.
Agent Howard said if you want payola, show your areola. He said he was on the set one day and he had to convince her to show her nips. Robin asked why the other woman was able to use a stunt double. Howard said he thinks she was pregnant at the time. He said no one wanted to see that.
Robin said everyone was talking about Arya showing her boobs in the last season. Howard said her agent must have convinced her to show some side boob. Robin asked why she didn't have to show so much. Howard said she plays a young girl. Agent Howard hung up so Howard said he should take a break. He went back into the agent voice for a short time but then went to break.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wanted to say she loves them very much. She said that she just wanted to say how much she loves them. She said she wanted to ask for a book (Howard Stern Comes Again) because it's her birthday. Gary said they're out of books. Howard asked if they really are. Gary said no but Howard said they weren't going to give out more. Howard said he'll just give her one to get rid of her. Howard said he doesn't have the patience. He said the book is out there everywhere. He said you can get it in all kinds of stores.
Howard said the book is out there and he'll sign this one but that's it. He said that Evelyn will get one and that's it. He said he had to move the show along.
Howard took a call from Apples who said his wife bought him a book like a good American. Howard said that's not a schnurer. Howard said he even called that woman on New Year's Eve and you'd think she'd buy it. Apples said he would do back flips if he got a call from Howard and Beth and he's a fat guy.
Howard said he and Beth went out the other night. He thought it was last night but Robin said it was Monday. Howard said he can't keep track of the date. He said it actually was Monday night. He said Beth had her hair in a bun and he liked that. He said it's like a sexy politician or something. He said they went out to dinner and had some alone time. He said he went through various conversations. He said then they went home and he watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Howard said he made a cat video before bed. He said Benson looks kind of like Yoda. He said it's a Persian. He said this cat has been with them for a while. He said his owner died and the cat was sort of neglected. He said he was tiny and shy. He said he started hanging out with him at night and now he talks to him. He said he meows at the cat and they go back and forth. He said he's in love with this guy. He said that he wants him to live there in New York. He said he wants him safe in an apartment. He said he made a video to introduce people to him and get them interested in him. He said the video is on her Instagram account. Robin said it's @BethStern. Howard said he's not sure what her name is. He said he finds it insulting that she didn't change her name. He said he'd like her to have his last name.
Howard asked Apples what he wants. He didn't answer. Apples said he used to run an airport. He said if Paula Abdul was in a small plane it may not have made the papers. He said he knows a guy who has crashed a plane. Howard said it just seems weird that if she crashed one that it wasn't in the news. Apples said that there's a story in the paper today about a plane hitting turbulence and people hit their heads. Robin said that's in the news.
Apples asked if he saw Jon Stewart on Colbert last night. Howard said he hasn't seen it yet. Robin said they'll be doing that during the news. She said that she'll have the audio. Howard said if she has it now he'll play it. Robin said she's not sure if they put it up yet. Howard had some of the stuff up there.
Howard said he'll do it now. Howard said Jon Stewart went up to bat for the 9/11 responders to lobby for them. Howard played a clip of Jon Stewart talking about Mitch McDonnell on FOX News. Then Mitch responded. Howard played that clip of McConnell saying they're going to address it and he's not sure why Jon is out of shape about it. Robin said then Jon was on Colbert and responded back to Mitch. Howard played that clip next. Jon came back at Mitch pretty hard.
Howard said ''Daaaamn!'' He said those are the noises he used to hear when he was punched in the face in school. Apples asked if he can get in a plug for his comedy thing. Howard said he thought he ran an airport. Apples said he used to do that. He said he's currently available for work. Howard said he just seems to call the show for a living. Apples said he used to run a small airport in South Carolina. He said it didn't pay anything though. He said this was in 2000-01. He said they were paying $13 an hour. Howard said he was in charge making that?
Howard said Jerry Seinfeld also runs an airport in his spare time. Apples said he's moved around. Howard said just give the plug. Apples said he's doing an open mic at a place called Vapor Distillery in Boulder, Colorado.
Apples said he was there at the airport on 9/11 and listening to Howard's show. He said he watched the second tower come down and he went to work. Howard asked what he was doing there. Apples said it was a small kind of airport. Howard cut him off saying he can't get to the point. Howard let him go.
Howard played a clip of Jeff going off on Shuli for not playing the clips. Jeff cursed him out.
Howard said he's a bore as he was picking up on him. He said the clips are horrible. Jeff said he's not a bore. Howard said they are horrible. He said he'll play one now. Howard played a clip of Jeff singing ''Desperado.'' Howard asked why he would play this. Howard said he has the Dukes of Hazard theme too. Howard asked why he would play this. He asked what he's supposed to say after he hears this. Jeff said he'd like to hear he did a good job. Howard said he barely made it through 5 seconds of ''You're Always On My Mind'' last night. He played some of that. Robin said he's always flat when he comes in on the song. Jeff said he didn't send that one in.
Shuli came in and said that he's acting like some of the songs are good. He said he's sent him over 60 emails of songs. He said they're not good. He said it took long because he doesn't know what to do with this shit. Jeff said they never play the good shit. Howard asked if Imagine is good. Jeff said no. He said play ''Me in the Middle'' or ''Snap Your Fingers.'' Howard said they're all bad. He said Jeff is always off key.
Shuli said that Jeff does duets with other people and the other people are really trying to sing. Jeff said he is too. Robin said if you have to call someone else to get them to listen to him then he has it all wrong. Howard played Jeff singing ''Some Say Love'' and ruining it. Shuli said this was a duet and no one else did it so it's awful.
Jeff said guess what. He said he's getting wood delivered today. Howard said he doesn't care. He said he has to get to news. Jeff said he thought he'd be happy that he was improving his life. He said he's building a new porch with his Cameo money. Shuli said get wheels and an engine and drive to a new place. Jeff said that's real funny. Howard hung up on Jeff. He said he should be paying back the tax payers with that Cameo money.
Shuli said he claims he's setting money aside for the taxes he has to pay on these Cameo videos. He said he doesn't see that going very well. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that a lot of people gave feedback on the Sal's dad Father's day recap. He read through some of that feedback. People were writing in about that and Sal not being able to say abominable.
Howard said no one liked Bobo calling in from the parking lot. He read some feedback about that. Howard said someone didn't think that his RAV 4 was a very manly car. A lot of people were complaining about Bobo but he did get a positive one. Howard said this guy says Bobo has a good heart.
Howard read some feedback about Benjy getting car sick. Someone said that he probably faked it. He asked Howard to keep Benjy off the show the rest of the summer.
Howard said on Monday they celebrated the 20th anniversary of the Gary love tape. He said everyone agrees it's a classic. He read some feedback about that.
Robin started her news with a story about Anderson Cooper's mom Gloria Vanderbilt dying. She had some audio from Anderson's tribute to his mom. Anderson had a clip of her laughing with him and they had the same laugh. Robin had Anderson talking about his mom at the end of the tribute and he talked about what a mom she was. Howard said he's lucky that he has his parents around. He said it's weird because when he hears that he thinks about how strange it would be not to have his mother there. He said that would be fucked up. Robin said not everyone feels that way. Robin said the best thing her father did for her was die. Howard said it's weird because a lot of people his age don't have their parents around. He said if they want a tribute on air they better hurry up. Howard said he may not be on the air much longer.
Howard said Gloria Vanderbilt had an interesting life. Robin had some details about her life that she and Howard went over. Howard said she was a great beauty. He had a list of some men she was rumored to have slept with. Howard said Anderson's dad was the last guy she married. Howard said Anderson is a good guy too. He said he vibed with him.
Robin said Ellen Degeneres said something during her interview with David Letterman and it was about how her mother and step dad had a very sexual relationship. She was very uncomfortable with that. Robin wondered how she knew about it. Howard said they must have been that open about it. Robin said Mark Conseulos was talking to Kelly Ripa about how they got caught on their daughter's birthday. Robin said they were fucking when the daughter walked in. Howard said he'd like to see them fuck. He said that's a good looking couple. Robin had some audio of Kelly and Mark talking about that on Kelly's show. Robin said she thinks that her other kids have talked about how many times they've walked in on them too. Howard said Gary walked in on his parents when he was like 23. Gary said he did. He said they had candles lit all over the room. He said it was traumatizing. He said it was missionary. He said that he went to the living room and didn't know what to do. He said his father came out smoking a cigarette. He said he paused and said ''What, did you think we were dead?''
Howard said Ronnie is a freak. He said he caught his parents fucking and he jerked off thinking about it. Gary said there was nothing sexual about what he saw. Howard said you should lock your door. He said that's what Mark and Kelly should do. Howard said Kelly keeps herself thin. He said that's what he'd like to see. Fred played some Ronnie drops where he was talking about seeing pussy and ''ass chreaks.''
Robin read a story about Lavar Ball who has some sons in the NBA. Robin said he makes claims about his kids and their abilities. Robin said he was talking to a female reporter about one of his sons. She had some audio of him saying that she could ''switch gears with me anytime.'' Howard asked if that's a sexual thing. Robin said it is. Howard said he's not sure about that. Robin said stop interviewing the guy. She said ask his kids if they care about them so much. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Pocket who asked if he has ever been complimented with his command of the English language. Howard said he hasn't but feel free. Pocket said that he and Robin both have a grasp that's really high. Howard said ]he has hit into something. He said they have a very high intelligence. He said he has people around him like JD who makes him sound like Shakespeare.
Howard took a call from fake Kelly Ripa and her husband Mark who were having sex. Howard cut them off and took another call from a guy who asked if he would rather have Mark or Orlando Bloom. Howard said Orlando is taller. He said Mark is chiseled though. He said either one could overpower him and beat him up. Howard asked Robin who she would prefer. Robin picked Mark.
Robin read a story about Paris Hilton who has a perfume empire. Howard asked if that's for real. Robin said yes. She said she released her first one 14 years ago. She said she released one every few years now. Howard asked what it smells like. Fred played Ronnie saying ''cunt!'' Robin said she has a $2 billion business going.
Howard said he'd rather just sell perfume. He said he has one coming out called ''Taint.'' Robin had some quotes from Paris about how she comes up with the scents.
Robin said Howard knows who Bella Thorne is. Howard said he does. He said she's super hot. Robin said a hacker released some nudes of herself and he was trying to extort her so she released them herself. Howard said she was in a movie called ''Midnight Sun'' and it was one of the best movies ever. He said she's super hot in it. He said he watched it twice. He said if she goes out during the day she will die. He said it's a horrible great movie.
Robin said on Netflix they released a 4 part version of ''The Hateful 8.'' Robin said now it's a miniseries. Robin said Howard would love it. She said she didn't like the movie but she loved the series. Howard said he doesn't want to see that. Robin said 5 Feet Apart looks like something Howard would watch. Howard said he hasn't seen that. He said he'll watch anything romantic on Netflix. Gary named a couple of others that Howard has seen.
Robin read a story about Dominoes pizza making some driverless deliveries. Robin said it's going to start in Houston later this year. Robin said you get a code to open the pizza box.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said the Bella Thorne movies are good. He said she has her nipple pierced so he's not sure what to think about that. Howard said Ralph used to tell him who the dirty girls were. He said he was good with that. Ralph said he doesn't know much but he knows that.
Howard got a note saying that Bella Thorne released a song called ''Pussy Mine.'' He checked out some of that.
Robin read a story about Harvard rescinding the admission of a Parkland high school student who made some racist comments online 2 years ago. Robin said that he announced it online himself. Robin said he claims he's grown in the last 2 years and he has changed. Howard said he thinks Bella Thorne is bisexual. He said he's still on that. Gary came in with pictures of her nude. Howard asked if she released them herself. Gary said she did.
Robin read a story about Alex Jones being accused of having child pornography. Robin said he's being charged with having it on a computer. Howard said oh my goodness. He said someone is upset. He picked up on fake Alex Jones who was going nuts saying he has no porn or anything like that. He told the guys to throw everything in the wood chipper. Robin had more details about that.
Robin read a story about David Ortiz and the people who were paid to shoot him. Robin said they got the equivalent of about $8,000 to shoot him in the Dominican Republic. Robin said they're looking for more people. She said they don't have a motive but they have the shooter.
Robin read a story about a big debate coming up next week for the democrats. Robin said they have a lineup of the people who will be a part of this. Robin ran down some of the people who are going to be involved. Howard said the JD puppet is going to be in it. He said that would be great if they could make that happen. Howard asked JD puppet some questions and Fred did his JD voice.
Robin read a story about the Dominican Republic having all kinds of bad publicity. Robin said some teens went there for a trip and they all fell ill. Robin said they have to figure out what's going on over there. Howard said that's going to fuck them up royally over here.
Robin read a story about a 8 year old boy who was attacked by a shark in South Carolina. Robin said a 17 year old lost most of one leg and two fingers on June 2nd and another 19 year old was bitten on the foot on June 11th.
Robin read a story about a Babe Ruth jersey being the most expensive item sold at auction for sports memorabilia. Howard said he's not sure if he would want that. Robin said this jersey from 1928-1930 sold for $5.6 million. Robin asked what you do with that. Howard said Brad Grey had the actual bus uniform from the Honeymooners. He said he thought that was kind of cool. Robin said sure. She said she imagines it being in his office. Howard said it was. Robin said she's wondering what people do with this stuff. Howard said he has the bass that Paul McCartney gave him. He said he has that behind glass. He said it's not his actual guitar but it was a replica that he signed. Howard asked if that's cool. Fred said that's cool. Howard said he has it behind glass like it's worth something.
Howard took a call from Rocky Pendergast who was in the Dominican Republic. He took that call and let Rocky mention who he was down there with. Howard said call Cathi with that.
Robin read a story about Madonna and Bruce Springsteen having new albums out this week. Robin had some clips for Howard to play. Howard said he was listening to that Springsteen album. He said he was reading Bob Lefsetz column where he said no one cares about the albums coming out anymore. Howard said Bob has a show on SiriusXM now. He said he's going to talk about something today. He said it was the biggest rock mistakes. That led to them talking about some of the mistakes like Billy Squire and David Lee Roth leaving Van Halen. Gary told Howard there was a video floating around of David going to a hotel room where some people were blasting Van Halen and he knocks on the door and they don't know who he is. He said they were annoyed by him. Robin had some of Madonna's new song for Howard to play. Howard said she wears an eye patch now because she's a pirate. Howard danced along to her new song.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about the big show they have coming up with Russell Crowe today. He said he's a big academy award winning actor. He said they have a bunch of other things going on too. He said he had an aggravating night so he's on edge.
Howard said one of the good things about being on radio is that you get on the air and at some point you forget about everything in your life. He said that's what he's hoping for today. Robin said she wishes she had a magic wand for him. Howard said he's just aggravated. He said everyone sees him as the happy go lucky entertainer. He said he has to have a perfect life to do the show. He can't have any distractions. He said if you want to tune to another channel that's alright. He said he's not able to hide it. He said he could rip someone's head off right now. He said you'll never know.
Robin said Howard has said that he'd only kill for good. Howard said he'd kill for bad right now. He said go listen to Spyder Harrison today instead of this show. He said he likes that guy. He said he has a professionalism that he likes.
Howard told JD not to fuck with him today. Robin asked why he called him out. Howard said it's funny. He said JD is something else. He said he's a big shot. He said he had no swagger when he met him. He said he does now. JD said he's just sitting back there. Howard said no one would have believed that he'd have his own office some day. JD said he didn't even believe it.
Howard said they're doing construction in the building and they're doing it for this company. He said they're expanding right downstairs. He said they're yelling at their own construction lately. He said it would be like yelling at himself for not taking a shower.
Howard said this is audio from Richard and Sal's office while the banging is going on. He played a clip and you could hear some loud banging pretty clearly. Howard said he had a vision to have all construction going on at night. He said he'd like to have that in this building. He said they could do construction over night and no one would be there to hear it. He said he just doesn't want to hear it. He played another clip of some drilling going on.
Howard said this goes on all morning. Robin said his nighttime construction causes her problems all the time. Howard said most people travel during the day. Robin said they do not.
Howard said he hates Manhattan. He said it does him no good. He said he doesn't do all the things that people do out there. He said he went out and played chess in the park and got sick after. He said this guy was a dick head. He said he told him he could have won but he called it a draw. Howard said it was a perfect draw.
Howard said he has some audio of FOX News trying to do a broadcast while construction is going on. Howard played a clip of loud drilling going on while they were on air. Robin said she would watch that if they had that going on all the time.
Howard said here's another clip where they were doing construction while they were talking about Nancy Pelosi on FOX News. There was hammering and drilling going on in the background. Howard said they're building a golden Donald Trump statue back there.
Howard said he can't wait for Russell Crowe to get there. He said they make Roger Ailes look like the devil in this movie he's in. He said they do exaggerate but there isn't one redeeming, valuable asset in his life. He said the guy is a complete monster. He said it's unbelievable. Howard said they'll talk to him later in the show.
Robin said the building they build in the city are amazing because they can completely tear them apart and rebuild it without disturbing anything. Howard said they're disturbing him. Robin said the building doesn't fall though.
Robin said Lenny must have nothing to do. Howard said he has plenty to do but he had to find his $80,000 dentures. Robin said she's never heard of bone marrow dentures. Howard said she'd learn a lot if she went out with him on a date. Robin said the dentures have a palate and it covers yours. She said you can't feel anything in your mouth. Howard said he's heard that. He said he heard that people who have dentures have plastic over the roof of their mouth so you don't feel anything. Howard said that's why he encourages Richard to brush his teeth. Fred played some clips of Lenny talking about licking pussy and things like that.
Howard said Sean is the only one who knows these things that he tells. He asked what the odds of that are. He said if you saw someone murdered every day then you'd think they should be locked up in an mental institution. Sean said if he's the canary in the coal mine then he's doing greater good. Howard said if he was going to do his shtick he'd stick to just one thing. He said that he should stick to the dog man thing. He said he has too many weird conspiracies. He said he thinks Brent is an android.
Howard said this is from High Register Sean's Periscope. He played a clip of Sean talking about Brent and how the shape of his head and the crest of his eyebrow ridge make it look like he's had modifications. He said it's not plastic surgery. He said it could be genetic mutation or a cloned being. Howard said everything is some weird thing to him.
Howard said Brent passing out is his android body rebooting. He played another clip of Sean talking about that. Sean said it's a cover story for him being an android. Howard said this is funny but it's just silly. Robin said it's really sad. Howard said he would stick to the dog man story.
Robin said he never was stuck just on one story. She said he was out Sasquatch hunting this weekend. Howard said he gets that. He said that way he can be out hunting.
Howard said this is Sean talking about Bobo being a shape shifter. He played the clip of Sean talking about how when you shape shift you have to be nude and Bobo doesn't know that he has to take his wig off. Howard asked how he knows the rules of shape shifting. Sean said he probably thinks he's part of Mensa now too. Howard said if Bobo was a shape shifter he'd know he can't wear his toupee. Robin said he would have learned that in the process. Sean said he comes across as a very slow person. Howard said that's exactly what he is. He said he's not a shape shifter.
Howard asked why he'd need a wig if he was a shape shifter. He said he'd just shift into a person with hair. Sean said Bobo is doing it for Howard's entertainment. Howard said none of his stuff is making sense.
Howard asked High Register Sean what happened with his Sasquatch hunt. High Register Sean said that he made a cast of a footprint they found. He said he made a cast of it but it disintegrated on the way home. Howard said the foot wasn't that big. He said maybe it was a baby. Sean said that he forgot to put something in the picture to show the scale. Sean said he found some other stuff as evidence too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is the worst guest he has on the show. He said he's trying to drive to work and this guy is annoying him. He said he hopes a dog man bites his head off. Sean said he hopes when they take over they'll take care of this guy. Howard asked who is taking over. Sean said the shadow government. He said it like Howard should have known.
Howard said he has to go. He thanked Sean for the call. Sean said they love to spin it both ways on him. He said they tell him to trust the government. Howard said he never told him to do that. He said his head is exploding from all of this. He said it seems like he's into a lot of things. He said if he was kidnapped by Aliens and then knowing about androids and shape shifters is too much. Robin said there are so many things that he's distracted by. Howard said if he knew about dog men that's the one thing he'd stick with. Sean said that's ridiculous. Howard said this is the one guy this is all happening to. Sean said if you're a detective and come across other crimes are you supposed to ignore it? Robin said yes. Howard said he has to go do other things. Sean said they're going to be sorry when they see he's right. Howard said he hopes he is. He said he'd love to see an android or a shape shifter. He said he wants to see a dog man. He said that would be cool. He said he'd like to know why he can't see them but Sean can. Sean said he's not open to it. Howard said he's not. He said he doesn't believe there's even life on other planets. Sean said there are endless planets and he's wrong. Howard asked if advanced beings have come to this planet. Sean said yes. Howard asked why they don't come out. Sean said they're here to do experiments. Howard asked how he knows that.
Howard asked if he's bored with his real life. Sean said he works 2 jobs and he busts his balls. Howard said he has a feeling he has trouble making friends and he does this hunting thing to have friends. He said it's like the table at high school below the Dungeons and Dragons table. Howard asked how old he is. Sean said he just turned 45. Howard said this is a 45 year old man with a family who is out searching for Sasquatch. He said he's doing it because he's bored. Howard asked if they all look like him or Tom Cruise. Sean said they look like him. Howard said they all look like Sasquatch so they're out looking for their father.
Sean said you get to go out and find insects that aren't even discovered. Howard said he's out there looking for Sasquatch. Howard said if they were out there then there would be pictures. Sean said they say that all of those pictures are faked. Howard said he feels sorry for him. He said if anyone sounds like an android resetting it's High Register Sean. He said he sounds like Max Headroom. Sean said that's mean. Howard asked why he wouldn't think he's an android. Howard asked how he doesn't know he's one. Sean said that he can speculate on that. Howard said maybe his cover is accusing everyone else of being an android. He said maybe he is an android. Robin said maybe open up your skin and look inside. Howard said don't suggest that.
Howard said Sean used to call in and they'd blow him off. He said now that he's a conspiracy theorist he gets on the air longer. Sean said he's making something out of nothing. He said he's broadcasting to the world and telling people to be aware of the dangers around.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks High Register Sean is an android and he's trying to relate to Brent to fit in. He said he goes to the dog men story to draw attention away from the android story. Howard said Shuli will be going to Sean's house to hunt dog men with him. Robin asked if he has a dog man trap. Sean said they're going to be hanging some meet from the trees. He said they come by regularly in the summer. Howard asked if he's bringing weapons. Sean said of course.
Shuli came in and asked if he's going to be hanging raw meat in the woods. He said he didn't know that. Howard said that's when a bear will come out. Shuli said imagine a slab of beef hanging from a tree. Sean said they can discuss it. Robin asked if he wants to capture it alive. Sean said it depends. He said he'll try to kill it if it attacks. Howard said they're going to end up in jail together. Shuli said he has to give his code word. He said today's is transport.
Howard said he was listening to the dog man podcast he listens to. He said they say 95 percent of encounters end non violently. Sean said the other 5 percent don't. Howard said he wouldn't be around this guy with a gun. He asked what gun he's bringing. Sean said he'll bring one of the hand guns. He said they're easy to conceal. Shuli asked if he can bring one too just in case he turns on him. Howard said Sean might be out there hunting Jews.
Howard asked what kind of guns he has. Sean said he has a .45. Shuli asked how many he owns. Sean said more than 3. He said that's all he'll say. Howard asked him about why he's using the type of gun he has instead of a Glock. Sean said it's the caliber. He said that Glock is smaller. Howard said they make a .45.
Howard asked why he's using a hand gun instead of a shotgun. Sean said he doesn't have a semi automatic shotgun. He said the .45 he can fire off quickly. He said he can get 10 rounds off. Howard asked why he has only 10. Sean said that's what they allow in Massachusetts.
Howard asked if Shuli has heard the dog man podcast. Shuli said it's like Ambien to him. Howard said this is the shit that Sean listens to. He said the host is Vick Cundiff. He played some of the podcast and Vick was asking people to call him if they have had dog men encounters. Howard had some audio of a guy talking about his encounter with a dog man who had a German Sheppard head on a man's body. He said it was standing by him for about 10 seconds. He said it was at least 7 feet tall. Howard asked how Sean isn't laughing during this. Sean said it's enthralling to him. Howard said if there were dog men running around they're not that swift.
Howard said this guy wanted to share beef jerky with the dog man. He played the clip of the guy talking about that. Vick told the guy he appreciates him coming on with that story. He had a really creepy voice.
Howard said this is like what Riley Martin did. He said it's funny stuff. Sean said that Riley was talking about the bullshit just so he could sell his Symbols. Howard asked what the difference is between him and Vick. Sean said that these people are sharing traumatic events.
Howard played another clip from the dog man podcast where the guy was talking about things that he remembered about his encounter. Howard said the guy said ''from what I remember'' like you'd forget a story like that. Howard asked where the dog women are. Sean said you can't tell until you get closer to see the breasts. He said it's the same with Bigfoot.
Howard asked when Shuli is going to the woods with this guy. Shuli said next week. Howard said he might call this off. He said it's scary. He asked if he's okay with the meat hanging from trees. Shuli said that does scare him. He said it brings out the animals. Howard asked if he has bears in the area. Sean said a few years ago a jogger was running through the woods and he claimed he saw a bear standing on two feet walking into the woods. He said they don't do much walking on two feet. Howard said maybe it was a dog man.
Howard said he's been on this planet his whole life and he's never even seen a bear. He said he knows they exist because tons of people have spotted them. He said he's seen them in the zoo. He said no one sees dog men. He asked when Sean is going to wake up. Sean asked when Howard is going to wake up. He said they all have their heads in the sand.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they have a gold mine here. He said they could do a buddy sitcom there with Sean the Dog Man hunter with Brent the android and Bobo the shape shifter. Howard said he might have to put that together. The caller said it would be like Perfect Strangers for morons. Sean told him to take it easy there.
Shuli said he's going to have a night vision camera with him. Howard said he has to bring a whole camera crew with him.
Robin said you make up dog men and then the real dog man comes and kills everyone. Howard said imagine they all die for a third tier Wack Packer.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they should use Bobo's head as bait for the dog men. Howard said they can use his toupee. Howard said they can send that along with Shuli. The caller asked if there are puppy children. Howard asked if they have bred with women. Sean said there are hybrids out there. He said he hasn't seen any of the young ones. Howard said he should get this Vick Cuntlips on the show to talk about this bullshit. He said he's wasting his time with Sean.
Howard took a call from a woman, Tina, who said that she's a process server and she serves papers for mental health. Howard asked if Sean fits the profile of a nut. Tina said he's the biggest nut she's ever heard in her life. She said he's believing all of this and he needs to be on medication or committed or something. Howard said at the end of the camping video they can have Tina come and serve him papers and throw him in jail.
Howard said it would be so great if Tina came in and threw a net over him and threw him in a padded room. Sean said that's not funny. Howard said he's sure that mental health professionals have visited him.
Howard said he has Carla on the phone and she claims she's a shape shifter and she can change voices. Howard took her call and Carla was changing into things like a bus and then went into a Wanda Sykes and a baby voice and turned into a toilet as well. Howard said holy shit. He asked if Sean can believe this. Carla said she can even turn into a hair dryer. She changed into a fart too. They played some farting sounds. Sean said he knows they're trying to marginalize him. Carla changed into puke.
Howard said he's looking forward to Shuli's report. Sean said he'll be the safest he's ever been with him. Howard said he prays that he doesn't pull that gun out. Sean said he has had gun training and he's not a nut job. Shuli said he'd like to hold the clips and ammo. Howard said if he sees anything out there he's going to start shooting. Sean said no. He said he's acting like a terrified little kid. Shuli asked if there are ticks out there. Sean said there are. He said Lyme disease came from Plum Island.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has been in the woods for 100 days and she has seen bear, deer, ticks and more but never dog men. Howard said it's such a miracle that there are deer walking around but this guy is creating dog men running around. He said it's sad to him. He said he world isn't enough for him the way it is. He said this is his way of being special. Sean said he only started believing in the dog men after he saw the eyes staring at him from the woods.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would give Sean a lie detector test to see if he really believes it. Howard said he's sure he would pass. He said Sean believes all of this stuff.
Howard played more of the Dog Man Encounters radio show. Howard said the following Monday after Shuli visits Sean is going to show up at work wearing a Shuli skin suit. Sean said they're acting like he's doing something wrong but he's trying to protect them all. Shuli said he believes it all. He said if he's going up there he wants him to know that.
Howard said they have to wind this up with a High Register Sean song. He said it's about the dog men and Sean. Sean told Howard he was being insulting when he joked about calling into the dog man show and having a story about Frankenstein. Howard played the song parody he was talking about. They sang about Sean believing in dog men. They went to break after that.
Howard said speaking of religion he has a great phony phone call to play. He said it points out the hypocrisy of religion. He said this is a deaf lady calling into a religious show. He said notice the logic here. Howard played the call and the deaf woman called in saying she has had a tough life but God made her that way for a reason. The hosts said that's true. She said she wandered into traffic and got hit by a car. The hosts said god has a reason for everything he does. The deaf woman said she lost her leg and had to get a blood transfusion. They kept saying god had a reason for that. Then she said she got AIDS from the blood transfusion. The hosts said there's a reason for that too. She said if God gave her AIDS for a good reason and that's why he gave her a beautiful girlfriend to be by her side. Then they said she should be ashamed of herself. She said it was god's plan to make her a lesbian. The hosts said she should be ashamed of herself for that. They went to another break after that.
Howard said the guys had a big barbecue the other day and JD was enjoying the Rosé wine they had there. JD said they brought some with them. He said they were enjoying it. JD said something about enjoying the wine on a sunny night. Howard and Fred goofed on him about that. Howard asked JD what was nice about the wine. JD said it was smooth and good. He said any wine that's smooth is good. He said there are some wines with lots of tannins in them that he doesn't like. Howard and Fred did their JD voices talking about the wine.
Howard said JD is married now and all fancy. He said he's got new glasses. Howard asked if he holds the wine glass by the stem. JD said he does but he can't get a good grip on it. He said he feels like it's going to tip over so he holds the cup part. He said when you have white you have to hold it by the stem so it doesn't get warm.
Howard said he heard that they bring their own wine glasses to events. JD said they did that for one event. He said his wife got the glasses and they went to this one event. He said it was an outside thing. Howard asked if they were the only ones drinking from glass. JD said not really. He said they're not that fancy. Howard said this is sophisticated JD. He said he never thought that would happen. He said he barely wore shoes when he met him.
Howard took a look at the glasses in a picture. Robin said she wants to see it. Howard said she doesn't need to see it. Howard said JD was like that Nell who was feral. He said he likes getting updates about this stuff. JD said he's sure he does.
Howard asked why the interns were frightened of him. JD said he doesn't know. Will said he had written a movie about an axe murderer and they thought it was something about himself. JD said he's sure his hygiene wasn't as good back then either. He said you live and learn through embarrassment on the show. Howard said he's very much in favor of shaming him.
Howard said someone said they think he's a hypochondriac. Howard said he doesn't think so. Brent came in and said that he's going to see a cardiologist soon. He said they're going to do a full test on him.
Howard said they asked Brent in the office if he's going to stop smoking pot. He played the clip and Brent said that he's not going to stop. He said the world isn't a great place and he has to smoke. He said he doesn't want to deal with reality so he's going to keep smoking. Howard said people like Brent say they don't care if they're going to die but then when they're about to die they turn around. Brent said he doesn't want to die. He said he got a lot of suggestions about what to do and he's going to go to the cardiologist in early July.
Howard asked if he's going to curtail his weed smoking. Brent said his wife reminded him that he has already cut back more than he used to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would go out and party and take things like Molly and he'd pass out like Brent. He said that he started vaping and those things were making him pass out. Brent said the vaping stuff he uses are all organic so there are no pesticides or anything in his.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Brent is on suicide watch. He said he sounds like he's having a breakdown. Brent said he's not and he loves life. Howard read some more email and people were upset with him about nurses. Brent said it was just the one he was talking about. Howard said he lost a fan to one person who said that what he said about nurses was insulting. Howard went through some other feedback about what he was saying to that nurse.
Gary said he heard that Brent and his wife smoke weed in the strongest way possible. Brent said that's called Dabbing and he hasn't done it since 2014.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Brent might be thinking about his life and having panic attacks. He said that might be why he's passing out. He said he may have PTSD from serving in the military and he should look into that. He said he thinks it's all psychological. Howard said he's going to get tested for his heart. The caller said get that done but the pot thing can cause some paranoia in his head. He said it could be subconscious stuff going on.
Howard asked Brent to keep them updated. He said Brent from the future is on the line. He picked up and the guys in the back had Brent saying he found religion. He said he's no longer an atheist in the future. Real Brent said there's no way that he's turning to Jesus. Brent told future Brent to give that up. Future Brent told him to give up his narcissism. He said that he's not into anything but Jesus now. He never smokes and Katelyn is now Sister Katelyn. Future Brent said that he's into this Christian band now. He played some of their music. Real Brent said that if there's a hell that's it for him.
Howard said there was a nice Hit 'em with the Hein during the open too. He said the announcer talked over it but the guy was just about on the microphone. Howard said he got it in there. He said you're supposed to quiet down after the shot but the announcer kept talking.
Howard said Baba Booey lives on. Robin said 100 years from now when they're still saying it they may not even know why they're saying it. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody. Howard said this is to the tune of the theme from the movie Gladiator. He said that's in honor of Russell Crowe coming in today.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves a good skit as much as anyone but they can't send Shuli out in the woods with that lunatic. He said they have to think about worker's comp. Howard said he likes Shuli's attitude but he is concerned. Howard said they'll make sure that Shuli is safe.
Howard said you know if Shuli gets shot he'll be taking a year off on medical leave and playing Xbox at home.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't there. Howard said it takes a long time for people to respond when he picks up. He gave up on that guy.
Howard took a call from a guy, Tyler, who asked if she can hear her. Howard asked if she can hear him. Howard did that for a few seconds and told her to get on with it. Tyler said she has the same thing that Brent has. She said that she passes out when she gets shocked or something or if she sits long and then stands up. She said she has passed out and hit her head on things. Howard said he's trying to help Brent out with this. He said he passes out everywhere and he doesn't think it's a big deal. Tyler said she passed out going down the stairs and broke her thumb. She said he hasn't passed out in a couple of years. Howard wrapped up with her and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he has Russell Crowe there. He said that he's been nominated for 3 Academy Awards and he's won one. He said he's in The Loudest Voice on Showtime and he's seen it. He said it's great. Howard said Russell still has some of that Roger Ailes in him today. He asked if he's still carrying that around.
Howard asked how he's doing. Russell said he's good. Howard asked how he is getting up early. Russell told him to get the fuck out of here. He said that he's up before the sun. He said it's the best time to get up. He said he goes to bed super early. He said he likes that anticipation of the day coming to an end and wondering if he got everything done.
Howard said in Australia Russell is on two stamps. He said he's having trouble becoming a citizen of the country though. Russell said that's a complex thing. He said they changed the law there. He said he was born in New Zealand and he moved to Australia in 1968. He said he moved back to New Zealand when he was 16. He said he missed living in Australia. He said he went back as an adult and he's lived 90 percent of his life in Australia. He said they changed the laws when his entire life was taken up with movies. He said the law said you had to be in the country for 10 months of the year in 2001 and 2002 and he just wasn't. He said hew as working and being given awards for being an ''Australian actor.''
Howard said the world is so silly. Russell said he has had some immigration situations. He said the people in power have said put in your forms and they'll take care of it. He said there are 350,000 other New Zealanders in the same situation. He said he's not going to do that. Howard said he wants to do it the way everyone else has to do it. Russell said examine this absurdity. He said his tax bills alone they should let him in on. He said he married an Australian and he has two kids who are Australian. He said he owns real estate there.
Howard asked if he'd like to live in America. Russell said he grew up seeing America as the greatest example of getting things done with humanity. Howard said you see the space program and Manhattan with incredible restaurants and Broadway. Russell said he saw Broadway but he didn't think of the restaurants. Howard said he gets it. Russell said when an Australian would do well against an American it was a great thing. He said by the time he started working there he knew it was healthier for him to always consider Australia as home. He said he has learned to love Los Angeles over time. He said a young actress opened his eyes to that. He said he was petrified there. He said he wasn't following anyone there. He said Mel Gibson had done well but he was an American by then.
Russell said Nicole Kidman married into American royalty when she married Tom Cruise. He said she started to converse in those power rooms about Australian film. He said he was doing films and they were being seen unusually because she had begun that conversation. He said they were films of a certain quality.
Howard asked if Sharon Stone was the one who saw him in Romper Stomper and brought it over. Russell said he had done a movie called Proof and he met a few American agents and he decided that the following year was the year he'd go to L.A. He said he went there in 92 and met with some agencies. He said he would get very close to a film and not get it. He said by the end of 93 he had dozens of auditions that led to nothing.
Howard asked if he knew he was going to be an actor from an early age. Russell said he knew from the age of 6. He said he was always working and he would come in and his agent would give him a list of meetings and he'd go to them. He said that he used to say that when no one was watching Sharon Stone saw this film and decided he had to be in a movie with her. He said she had some power there. He said that no one thought that he'd be playing between Gene Hackman and Leo DiCaprio. He said he just saw Sharon recently and he thinks about how spectacular she is still. He said she's a lovely lady. Howard said it's fantastic.
Howard said Russell is in this show called The Loudest Voice. He said it's spectacular. He said he only saw the first 3 episodes but it was great and he can't wait to see more. He asked if the guy is really that evil. He said TV and movies have to be over the top. Russell said he think the guy is quite charming. Howard said the guy scares the shit out of him. He said the guy is a freak. He said he was a brilliant guy. Russell said he's a very complicated man. Howard said the guy dreamt up FOX News. Russell said by 26 he was an Executive Producer of the Mike Douglas show. He said then he went into the Nixon campaign.
Howard said he had balls because he's just go up to people and say inappropriate things. He said they show that in the show. Howard said that this guy became the guy who hates the Hollywood elite and he bashes Hollywood. He said the guy was a weirdo. Russell laughed. He said it makes great TV. Howard said he agrees. Russell said that's what makes it so interesting to play the guy. He said that age starts to catch up with him and he forgets where the ground is.
Howard said the show reminded him of The Godfather. He said this guy is very powerful and he's thinking he could do great things like that guy. He said he had the same feeling about The Godfather. Howard said Roger Ailes is ruthless and he's got this vision of the world that is so scary. He said he's devilish. Russell said he goes subterranean with the evil.
Howard said they make it seem like Roger's son is terrified of his father. He asked if he has heard anything from the family. Russell said he hasn't heard anything. He said there is a balancing or rebalancing that went on. He said he doesn't think that he ever fully assumed the power. He said that he was very playful and he would say that if there wasn't a left leaning bent then they would have gone the other way. He said they just wanted a slice of the market.
Howard said the guy was scary in the movie. Russell said he was wondering what they were going to talk about today. He said he was thinking about Roger Ailes and how he went from TV to politics. He said that was from 1967-69 which was the summer of love time. Russell said he was born in 1964 so he's the bottom end of the generation of power that Roger is the top of. He said he has empathy for these women at the end of what he's doing. He said he's experienced all of that. Russell said on a lot of occasions he was the young skinny bloke looking for auditions and trying to break into theater. He said that things came up in his life and he questioned his morality. He said that has never been right with what Roger did. He said there are big differences between shitty behavior and misunderstanding about someone liking you or not. He said we've all had that but then the use of your power to fulfill your request. He said that just has to stop. Howard said that's why the movie is very powerful. He said it shows guys who abuse their power. He said it's very strong.
Howard said he loves how he loses an accent. Russell said he was looking at all of Roger's stuff and it's a hybrid. He said he's not on the big shows but he does some shows where you can hear his voice. He said his voice is a creation like everything else in his life. He said he went to live in DC with Nixon. He said the guy created himself. He said he's literally a self made man.
Russell said his voice changed from when he was the Executive Producer of the Mike Douglas show to the time he was running FOX News. Howard asked if he does an impression of his voice. Russell said he doesn't. He said he has to find the voice through his moods. He said you have to be able to do that voice in a whisper and a scream. Howard asked him to teach him how to do that. He said he should avoid doing an impression and do something else. Howard asked what he should be looking for. Russell said all of those thins Howard said are exactly right. He said you let the person wash over you. He said if you have he footage like he had of Roger. He said that's the discipline. He said you have to listen and listen and you hear rhythms. He said you're out in the country and you see 1000 stars. He said you wait a few minutes and it's 10,000. Howard asked if you become Roger. Russell said no but you have a files in your brain filled with information. He said if you do your job properly then it just comes out of your back pocket. He said you take him holistically on board.
Howard asked if he's on the set with him on this movie and he tells him he's not getting it is he going to tell him to fuck off. Russell asked how much work he's done. Howard said he's the greatest director ever on this set. Russell said in that case he would listen to him. He said that the guy was saying that he doesn't get what he's doing and he asked him to do something else. Russell said that he tried doing it the way he wanted and he's there to work for the director. He said if they're not over the top for what they're doing he might not listen.
Howard said he must have worked for some assholes. Russell said what you try and do is try to fulfill what your instincts are telling you to do. He said there's a compromise there somewhere. He said he worked with Anthony Hopkins early on and he had to go to Anthony's character and his job was a salesman. He said he wanted to cross the room with a journal and he wanted to do a salesmanship thing. He said Hopkins was in the room and he was playing piano in the corner. He said the director said he didn't need that shit and he should just stay where he's at. Russell said he told him he'd need this later. He said he had to show him what he was doing and the director said no. He said Hopkins stopped playing and told the director that he should listen because he knew what he was talking about.
Howard said he's thinking of Ridley Scott using his improvisation in Gladiator. Howard said there was only 25 pages of dialog going into that. Russell said it was 26 pages. He said he and Ridley Scott sat down and went over it and brought it down to 26 or maybe even 22. He said years later they started with 45 pages on another movie. He said he wanted to do a real movie where they had a full script.
Howard said when you have a career where every movie is a blockbuster he wouldn't want to start a movie that only had 22 good pages. Russell said it was scary as hell. He said he was on his way to the airport and didn't know what they were doing. He said he's good at learning about shit but when you don't have a script you don't know what you're doing.
Russell said when he and Ridley would sit in a room and talk about it there was a lot there. He said he had one line going through his head. He said that he just wanted to keep showing up to work because he was working with Ridley Scott. He said from day one it was great. He said Ridley walked up to him on the first day and he was in full armor and he wasn't comfortable. He said Ridley had soldiers all over the place and they had the forest being burned and he's thinking that he's never experienced anything like that. He said then Ridley came up to him and said he was going to shoot him contemplating his day. He said he wanted him to look to his right and see a small bird in a tree and then he sees him flying. Then he wanted him to look back to the battlefield and sniff the air. He said he wanted him to wonder to himself ''seems like snow.'' He said then he goes ''action'' and he did all of those things. He said then Ridley came over to him and said that they're going to be great together. He said he was checking to see if he can follow direction and finish a task.
Gary came in with something for him. It was home made soup. Howard said that's something. He said that's part of the problem of being an actor. Russell said he doesn't remember asking for anything actually. Howard said you can become spoiled when you're acting. He said that he did his movie and he got a ping pong table brought to his room.
Russell said if he's on a set and the sound guy needs something they'll just do it. He said his vibe is that everyone should come there knowing they should be doing their very best job. He said he has his moments but he doesn't tend to be that demanding. He said they do it all to the best of their ability.
Howard asked if Russell saw what's his name (Christian Bale) doing Dick Cheney. Russell said he hasn't seen that yet. Howard said he thinks they're gong to compare that to what Russell does with Roger. Howard asked how long it takes to put on the prosthetics. Russell said that it took 6 hours the first time. He said that they got it down to less eventually.
Howard said there's one scene where he's on a couch with that woman had he has that belly sitting there. He said the woman is about to blow him and he's like ''look at that fucking belly.'' Howard said he felt so bad for that woman. He said it was just so great. Howard said Christian Bale won an Academy Award for playing Dick Cheney. He said he thinks Russell did a better job than him. Russell said he also had 7 hours to do it. He said they were doing 23 hour days at one time. Howard said the whole movie is Russell as Roger Ailes pretty much. He said at the end of the day he has to take off the prosthetics. Russell said you have to be careful with that because you may not be able to work if you break the skin. He said that didn't happen to him. He said he had 3 dinner parties between November and April. He said he would take the entire weekend to get the glue off of his face. He said there's so much that goes into it. He said he didn't think that 23 hour a day thing was going to work so they had to do it in a different way. He said what he wanted to do was go into makeup and come out and shoot for 8 hours and he's done. He said they had to shoot at his pace. He said he was going to prep 24 pages and that's what he would get done.
Howard asked what it means to prep for 24 pages. Russell said it's a lot. He said there are some long speeches that he had to get through. Howard said he had to memorize all of that stuff. Russell said he does it based on repetition. He said if you repeat it 16 times out loud you'll remember it. He said that's how he prepares. He said you start to connect ideas. He said he likes to have it so he's not thinking at all. He said he'd rather give it up to the other actors. He said that he likes to know it almost backwards. Howard said he doesn't think he could do that. He said Russell would be pissed if he had to work with him. Russell said no one shows up not knowing their shit. He said it's the best place in the world to be when everyone works hard.
Howard said it has to be tough when someone doesn't know their lines. Russell said as you get older you get into the groove. He said he can almost smell the fear on the actor's skin if they don't know their stuff completely. He said he'll do a line reading with them and they have a conversation. He said if you mention coffee then it's linked to that. He said the guy is ready to go after that.
Howard said he worked with Paul Giamatti and he was great. Russell said he really is. He said he worked with him in Cinderella Man. Howard said he broke some bones in that movie. Russell said he doesn't have cartilage in his toes anymore. He said he's has stunts go wrong. Howard asked if he's in pain every day. Russell said the truth is that he's been picking up injuries and he commits to what he's doing. He said he has done small movies where he has fight sequences. He said he was 36 by the time he did Gladiator. He said he felt like a football player who had played one season too many. He said that was back in 1999. He said he's done a lot since then. He said he has a lot of issues with his feet and ankles. He has grade 4 tears in his Achilles. Howard said that's painful. Russell said it can be. He said lately he's managed to tear the muscle close to the bone on his left calf. He said he can't walk all that long because of that.
Howard asked if he ever takes a movie for the money. He said they're going to pay him a fortune. Howard said he thinks he has done some incredible roles. He doesn't think he has. Russell said he has turned down movies because they scared him. He said he's gone back into some of those. Howard asked if the acting thing scares him. Russell said it does. He said that he's going into one soon that scares him.
Howard said he'd be scared of the Roger Ailes thing. He said that's a tough role. Russell said he's about to do Unhinged and he plays the person who is unhinged. He said it's levels of violence that shocked him when he read it. He said it's so much about the inability to have a conversation and a difference of opinion that it kind of needs to be done. Howard asked if it's a political movie. Russell said the simplicity of what sets him off is what's so scary. He said he gets cut off by a woman in traffic and that sets him off. He said he saw it in traffic yesterday. He said he went past this guy and he's looking at the character he's about to play. He said he might use that.
Howard asked if he is always looking for something that he can use. Russell said it's not a conscious thing. He said you might think back about something.
Howard said Russell was shocked by how famous he was after Gladiator. Russell said he was in Rome and he went into a jewelry store to buy a watch for his wife to be. He said he was in there for 5 minutes to buy the watch but 35 to do the paperwork and wrap the gift. He said they finished and he walked out and the street was packed. He said to the left and right it was jam packed. He said you couldn't see anything but people. He said he asked the police what was going on and they said ''You. You are what's going on.''
Howard said he was nominated for film after film for 7 years. He said after Gladiator he got a call from the FBI. Russell said he still doesn't understand that. He said this guy from the FBI came to him and said for the next little while they were going to be with him. He said for the next part of the year they followed him around. Howard said Al Queda had said something about going after him or something. Russell said he really doesn't even know. He said it was part of his life for a while.
Russell said what they told him was that someone was overheard by a French police woman about a plot to kidnap public figures. Howard said he must have walked around paranoid. He said it was nice that they followed him around. Russell said then one day they just weren't around.
Howard asked if it's a huge mistake to meet someone on the set of a movie and marry them. He said it's so intoxicating on the set of a movie. He asked if actors should avoid that. Russell said he met his eventual wife in 1989 but didn't marry her until 2003. He said he had a friendship with her first. He said they did get together in the early 1990s but his life changed. He said he was away from Sydney for long periods of time. He said they never really broke up. He said a fellow actor told him as a young man that a man who travels alone will go the furthest. He said he had to fulfill or fail at that before settling down.
Howard asked why he wanted to be an actor. Russell said his grandfather was a well known cinematographer. He said he had friends who were in the business. He said they all started in the armed services. He said they moved into the industry after the war. He said his mom's godfather became a cheap TV producer in Australia. He said he started because he was on the sets after he conned his mom into catering the shows.
Howard said his parents must have looked at the actors on set as gods. He said they were being treated in such a way. Russell said this was back in the late 60s and early 70s so it wasn't like that. He said he got infected by learning that not every door went somewhere on a set. He said you can fool someone with a set of a submarine that's made of wood. Russell said he would go around film sets and open doors to see where they went. He said you know it's a free standing room on a set.
Howard asked if kids teased him because he wanted to act. Russell said sure they did. He said he did a lot of shows that were on late at night. He said he did 2 episodes of a soap called The Young Doctors. He said he was visiting the set and this guy brought him to the casting director and they ended up getting him a role on the show. He said he had a friend in school who was in another show and he had a role model with him.
Russell said that he puts makeup on for a living so he's not the tough guy that people think he is. He said he's been able to use his body to expand or shrink for a role. He said he loves doing it. He said he walks to the camera on a set every day and he knows that's where he should be. Howard said some people grow to hate it. Russell said there's lots of stuff that grates on you. He said he talks about that stuff. He said he's honest about it.
Howard said you look at Brando and they were feeding him lines by the end of it. Russell said he was lazy. He said he got so much fame and attention and he thinks it's way less work than a play. He said he disrespects the process.
Russell said after Brando died he kept getting notes from a woman who kept asking him to call her. He said he asked some of his reps about it and he said that was Johnny Carson's ex. He wasn't sure why she was calling to he called her. He said she told him that she had this thing that Marlon Brando gave to her to give to him. He said she came and dropped it off and it as a letter. He said Joann Carson came to her with the letter. He said she told him about how Marlon liked ice cream and he liked watching movies with her while eating ice cream. He said they watched the movie ''The Insider.'' He said they watched it about 6 times. He said Marlon asked him to bring him this book when he died. He said it was inscribed to Marlon and it was from Jack Nicholson. Russell said Joann asked why he didn't reach out to him and he said he didn't want to disappoint him. Howard said that's nice. Russell said he knows how he feels. Howard said Russell and Marlon both played Jor-El in different Superman movies. Russell said he did that on purpose.
Howard said Russell auctioned off some of his stuff when he was getting divorced. Russell said that was for fun. Howard said he raised several million dollars from that. Russell said it was over 4 million. He said he has many collections of many things. He said he has a certain passion for things. He said he has one ass and too many motor bikes and one wrist for a watch and too many watches. He said what he was doing was having some fun with it.
Howard said one of the things he auctioned off was a dinosaur's head from Leonardo DiCaprio. Russell said that has doubled in value since he sold it. Howard asked what kind it was. Russell said he doesn't remember. He said he bought it for his kids and there was a lot of alcohol involved in that transaction. Russell said Leo told him he was trying to sell it and he offered to buy it. Howard asked what he asked for it. Russell said it was maybe 35-40 grand. Howard said he kept it and then auctioned it off. Russell said he bought it in 2008 or 09 and his kids were fascinated with it. He said it was one for the playroom. Howard said what an awesome dad.
Howard said Russell started acting at 6 and he lost a tooth playing rugby. He said he's fascinated that his parents didn't take him to replace it. Russell said they tried over and over again. He said the logic to him made no sense. He said he had 3/4 of a good tooth. He said to replace it you have to shave it off and make it into a peg and stick plastic on it. He said he wanted to stick with the real tooth. He said he had this thing between 10 and 25 that he was an actor and he was already looking for jobs. He said he came out of high school and didn't go to university. He said he was getting theater shows and not TV. He said in theater you can't see that. He said it took a film director called George Ogilvie to cast him. He said he asked him what the story was with the tooth and why he didn't replace it. Russell said he told him it's part of his life and things that you pick up. He said George said that the character he was going to be playing had 2 front teeth. He said he went and got it fixed and he never missed an audition for the 10 years after that.
Howard said you would have thought doing soap operas that they would have asked him to fix it. Russell said he was playing guys who would have a tooth like that.
Howard asked if he had any acting lessons. Russell said he did have some with a man called Bill Pepper. He said after the first day the guy told him not to come back there. He said he was told to come to his house and they'll work together. He said he loved doing that and he was a wonderful teacher. Howard said he must be a bit of a prodigy. Russell said he's not sure that you can be in such a simple gig. He said the way he functions is similar to the way Howard does. He said he tells stories and he takes people on journeys. He said it brings them joy or information.
Howard said Michael Jackson was obsessed with Russell. He said he would call him and prank call him. Russell said he never met him. Howard said he must have been a fan of his. He asked how he got his number. Russell said he would call hotels that he was at. He said maybe he had friends in certain hotels. He said the calls were really dumb. He said he was a prank call expert when he was a kid and Michael just wasn't. Howard said that's how he got experience doing prank calls. He said he'd give things away to people and they'd never get them.
Russell said Michael would call telling him that he has to go downstairs for some reason. Then he'd say it's just Michael and change his voice back to his regular voice. Howard asked what Russell did for his calls. Russell said he did the ''Is Mr. Wall there?'' kind of calls.
Howard said Russell was in a band early on too. Russell said there was a time when he had a day job and on the weekends he was a nightclub DJ. He said he was working for a club that heard he was writing songs and told him he could go on stage and play only his own songs. He said he was doing that. He had did a recording that he liked that he took from record company to record company. He said one of them said yes and he had a record deal.
Howard asked if being a DJ was good. He said he heard he got women that way. Russell said it was a very fertile hunting ground. Howard said women must not have been a problem for him. Russell said things got better once the tooth was fixed.
Howard asked why he keeps things in his personal life so quiet. Russell said no one cares about that. Howard said that's all he cares about. Russell said that he has had some slutty times in his life. Howard said that's the actor's thing. He said actors live a privileged life. He said you must think that you can get any woman. Russell said he's too much of a realist. He said he knows the scaffolding and he knows things are pretend. He said he never gets carried away. He said his thing is about the quality of what they're doing. He said if you hear about him being demanding on the set it's going to be about making things better for the movie.
Howard asked if he turned down the Lord of the Rings. Russell said he did. Howard said they offered him 10 percent of the gross for that. Russell said he didn't think Peter Jackson wanted him on the film. He said he thinks he was told that he should be in it. Russell said he doesn't think that he even knew what he had done. He said he thinks he had Vigo Mortensen in mind already. Howard said maybe it was the studio. Russell said that's what he was thinking. Howard said he would have made so much money from the movies that he would have been able to keep his dinosaur head.
Howard asked if he ever thinks about making $100 million for that movie. Russell said he never thinks about it until someone on a radio show adds things up for him. Howard said that money would have been nice. Russell said it would not have gone to waste.
Howard said he also turned down Wolverine. Russell said he never would have carried it through more than once. He said he hasn't done a sequel yet. He said he grew up in a time when they were all shit. Howard said except for Godfather 2. Russell agreed. He said he'd like to see where Bud White is from L.A. Confidential. He said there are some movies he'd like to do a number 2 on. He said he'd like to do that with Nice Guys. Howard said he was thinking about A Beautiful Mind. He said some characters are milked but sometimes he likes it. He said he likes Sylvester Stallone when he does it. Russell said that's what people have now.
Howard asked if he's sick of Roger Ailes now that he's played him. Russell said it's difficult to talk about the guy. He said he's getting kind of sick of it but just because he's talking so much about him.
Howard asked if he has watched FOX News. Russell said he has seen some of it but that's not his groove. Howard said he thinks it's the most sinister operation based on this series. Robin said they have a line in it where Roger is told that people want to be informed and Roger says they want to ''feel informed.''
Russell said that there is some news on FOX News but most of it is opinion during the day. He said Shep Smith is news. Russell said Roger saw that there was an opening in the news for what he puts on FOX News.
Howard asked if he could pull up a scene or does he forget it. Russell said it's disposable. He said there might be a trigger word that comes back but that happens for plays as well. He said you have a certain file for this stuff and once it's done you move on.
Howard said during L.A. Confidential he knows he's playing a large man. Russell said he called the director and said he's not a big bloke. Howard said he rented an apartment so he could feel too large. Russell said it was very small and he wanted to feel like an oversized guy. Howard said then he morphed into someone who was too big for the world. Russell said it was a tiny thing that got him into character. Howard said look at what he's doing to get into character. Russell said that's his job. He said for a longtime you're wondering if you can really do this. He said it's not until he was late into his 40s that he realized that he can do it. He said some of the extremes you go to as a kid you don't have to go to.
Howard asked if he gets nervous going into work on the first day. Russell said he doesn't sleep the night before. He said he never sleeps the night before. Howard said he's still nervous after all these years. Russell said it's still important to him. He always intends to do his best.
Howard said he heard when he got married he built a chapel so the sun would be shining on his wife's dress. Howard said that kind of care is remarkable. Russell said it's not control. He said it's just that the sun is there at this time of afternoon and the window is in the wrong place. He said if you move it 3 feet then it's in the right place. He said it's like on a set. He said if the moment is there you grab it. He said you must take the opportunity.
Howard asked if he thinks about his kids seeing his movies. He heard he brought the kids to one movie and they were bored out of their minds. Russell said his son wanted to see Gladiator when he was like 3 or 4. He said he set it up one night and pushed play and 20 minutes later they wanted to stop it. He said they went up to the house and his mom asked if he liked the movie. He said his son said that it was one of the worst movies they've ever made and he hated it. He was very upset by it. Howard said that levels you. Russell said there will be a day when he can go back and watch what he did in his life. He said he skips past things usually. He said he did watch something with the kids recently. He said some day he'll watch his movies though.
Howard asked if the Academy Award was a big deal for him. Russell said at the time it was. Howard said he beat Tom Hanks that year he won. He said Tom was in Castaway. Russell said everyone tries to make it that way. Howard asked if he prepared a speech. Russell said he did and he didn't cry. He said a few years later Christian Bale got up and may have forgotten his wife's name. He said he realized he was one of those guys.
Russell asked if he can go to the bathroom. Howard said he's going to let him go. He wrapped up and gave him some plugs for the Roger Ailes thing. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said he didn't get to ask about him donating his brain to science. He said he was about to ask that but he ran out of time. He said he's a very interesting man. Robin said she broke into a big smile when she saw him. She said he has gotten so much enjoyment from his films.
Howard said he wants to know why he would donate his brain. Robin said they need that to map the brain. Howard said he just wants to be in his mausoleum. He said he has to work on that. He said Beth can take care of that. Robin asked how long he's going to be up here. Howard said he's sure that they can get him into it in 2 days. Robin said they can't just leave you in there. She said it's a structure. Howard said it's like a condo you buy into. Robin said she thinks they have to build it. Howard said they have to have it ready to go.
Howard said he has to get Russell back in there to talk about the brain thing. He said he really did like the Roger Ailes special. He said he stared watching it and he was hooked in 5 minutes. Robin said she was going to watch as soon as she heard Russell was in it.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he could have listened to that all day. He said it was the best interview. Howard said he wanted to ask if he still smokes. He said he could have kept going too.
Howard said he heard that Gary rushed Russell in there even though he said he had to pee. Gary said he had the door open. Howard said next time just let him go first.
Ralph said he could have done another hour on the slutty years. Howard said there was a lot there to talk about. Ralph said it was great.
Ralph said he wanted to hear more about the dinosaur skull. Robin said Ralph is almost doing that. Ralph said he has a bat carcass that Howard gave him. Howard said he went through a phase where he was collecting that stuff. He said he used to go to a place where they would put an animal skull and let the maggots eat it. He said he was in a dark place at that time of his life. Ralph asked ''Ya think?'' Howard said he really was. Robin said she didn't know he did that.
Howard said he gave all of that stuff to Ralph. He said he's a collector of junk. Ralph said its nicely displayed. Howard said the dinosaur head would be cool to have. He said he's a fascinating guy. Howard said he has to admit that it would be cool to have but 35 grand is a lot to spend. Robin asked where you put it. Howard said in your office. He said you pretend it's not a big deal.
Howard said he went back and watched some of his movies. He said Cinderella Man is great. He said he liked A Beautiful Mind too. He said this Showtime special is really good too. Ralph said he can't wait to see that. Robin said his use of makeup isn't over the top either. Howard said he gets a blow job from this woman and you can't even see her because his belly is so big. Howard said Benjy was his body double. He said this woman wants to be big at FOX News and this girl gives him the blow job and you can't see her head.
Gary brought in a picture of the dinosaur head. Howard said it looks like a baby dinosaur. He said it's not that big. Ralph said he likes that he got divorced and he sold his shit to fund it. Howard asked Gary what that jock strap was from. Gary said it was from Cinderella Man. He said John Oliver bought it and they sent it to the last Blockbuster video store in Alaska to put it on display. Howard let Ralph go and said he has to do the news.
Robin started her news with an update on Lenny Dykstra's missing dentures. Robin said he spent 9 hours finding the missing dentures and he claimed they were $80,000. Howard said they're made of bone marrow. Robin said that's so strange. Robin said he did video updates the whole time he was in the dumpster. She had some clips for Howard to play. Howard said you can tell he has no teeth in that. Howard asked what good false teeth are if you can't eat with them. Robin said he did an update midway through the search. Robin had Howard play another clip. Lenny talked about what he was doing while looking for his teeth. Howard asked if that was on Twitter. JD said it was. Lenny was talking about the food that goes to waste in there. He even imitated a loud motorcycle driving by. Lenny gave another update about finding his teeth after 9 hours. Robin said Lenny is a former Mets player. Howard wondered if he put the teeth right back in. Robin said they were in a napkin so maybe they were clean.
Robin read a story about Robert Pattinson possibly getting the role of Batman. Robin said with young people Robert Pattinson is the winner between him and this other guy Nicholas Holt who was in the X-Men movie. Robin said she's not sure when they're announcing who is getting the role. Robin asked who the best Batman was. Howard picked Christian Bale. Robin said that's who most people picked. She said Val Kilmer was at the bottom of the list. Howard said he thought Ben Affleck was good but the scripts weren't that great. Robin said she thinks he was too old for the role. Howard said he liked Christian Bale. He said he just won an Oscar for playing Dick Cheney and he still forgot his name while he was talking to Russell Crowe.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what his friendship with Ralph is. He said he's been a big fan since the 90s but he doesn't know the sorry. Howard said Ralph used to call into the show on WNBC and he thinks he met him when he did a New Year's eve show. He said he wanted a giant penis on stage with him and he had no money so he was trying to construct something like a puppet that came out of his pants. Gary said Ralph wrote them a letter and he had some drawings that were good enough that they contacted him. Howard said Ralph was working at a parking lot at the time. He said he was right out of high school. He said he looked at it and gave it a shot. He said he didn't even try it out beforehand. He said it didn't work and it was horrible. He said he was caught with his pants down. Howard said he thinks he was pissed off at Ralph after that. Gary said he remembers him designing a bald cap for him and he gave him 10 minutes to do it.
Howard said after that he got pissed and then they did the channel 9 show. Howard said they needed someone to do makeup and they had no money so he needed someone cheap. Gary said Ralph wrote a letter to Dan Foreman and Dan hired him. Howard said he was good on that show. He said he was really talented at it. He said he also did his hair and then he started dressing him too. Gary said he started to frustrate people there because he didn't work at the speed they wanted. Howard said that wasn't fair. He said he was difficult himself. Gary said Ralph did a lot for them on that show. Howard said he used to tell Ralph that he has to be a hair dresser, a stylist or a makeup guy. He said Ralph didn't want a job. He said he's still trying to figure out what to do. He said he has to make up his mind soon.
Howard had Ralph back on the phone and he was laughing hearing about this. He said he'll let Howard know when he figures out his life. Howard said he complains about him to his wife. Ralph said he has to correct him on something. He said he was getting started in makeup effects. He said that's why he sent him the stuff he sent. He said that's how he got the job. He said the giant penis he made was something he made at home. He said his mom came home one day and found it on the kitchen table. He said that was really awkward.
Howard said Ralph won't go all in on something. He said that's what frustrates him about him. Ralph said he's easily distracted. He said he's all over the place. Howard said he's been friends with Ralph ever since. He said he's a screwball but he loves him. Ralph said so is Howard.
Gary asked when they went from worker to friend. Howard said he had to shave his belly. He said they were hanging out so much working that it led to a friendship. Ralph said it was always weird because it bothered people. Ralph said he was friendly with Jackie and then he became friends with Howard and he was an enemy to Jackie. Robin said that's the norm. Robin said that's how it went. Howard said he was the enemy. Howard let the caller and Ralph go and did a live commercial read.
Robin said she was reading the paper today and said this story has to be a movie some day. She said this guy put a hit out on his own father. She said the father is part of a crime family and the 41 year old son put a hit out on him. Robin said he may have decided it was time to get rid of dad and he paid someone $200,000 to get rid of him. Robin said she's guessing the kid wanted to take over and the father didn't want to step down. Robin said this guy had him taken out at a McDonald's drive thru. She said he also wanted to take out his older brother. Robin said this all came out in the court papers. Robin said he could wind up in prison the rest of his life for this.
Robin read a story about the final episode of Jeopardy with James Holzhauer having a 14.5 rating. Robin said that's huge in ratings these days.
Robin read a story about Alex Jones claiming that the child pornography on his computer was planted there by the attorneys from the Sandy Hook lawsuit. Robin said the judge told him to stop the nonsense. Robin said that people were sending child pornography to the InfoWars web site email and he may not have ever seen it. Robin said it may have been planted there by trolls. Robin said they stopped him from accusing the attorneys of planting it.
Robin read a story about marijuana use by pregnant women rising by double. Howard said a lot of people aren't into their kids. He said not all of these moms are that into it. Robin read more details about that. She said it's just bizarre what people do.
Robin read a story about the EMS and police being called to a park because they thought a dead infant had been discovered. Robin said they went into the area and the EMS declared the baby dead but it turned out to be a doll. Robin said it had ''The Crawling Dead'' written on it. Robin said the police are looking for the people who planted it because they wasted hours on this call.
Robin read a story about how Lindsay Lohan is losing her beach show on MTV. Howard said she was barely in the show. He said he found that odd.
Robin read a story about Mayor Pete Buttigieg asking the police chief of his city to reaffirm their policy of body cams. Robin said an officer shot a person without turning his body cam on. Howard said he didn't know they had to turn it on. Robin said you don't need it on all the time. Howard said if you can turn it off then who is going to remember to turn it on. Robin said you're supposed to turn it on as you drive up to a call.
Robin read a story about President Trump announcing his 2020 run yesterday. Robin said he appeared at a rally and he was attacking the people who he attacked last time he was running. Howard said he saw he was attacking Hillary Clinton again. He said he already beat her. Robin had some clips of Trump for Howard to play. Howard played one where Trump was going off on Hillary and her emails. Howard said he also attacked Geraldine Ferraro and Walter Mondale. Robin said he also had the crowd choose a new campaign slogan. Robin had Howard play that one. Trump went with ''Keep America Great.'' Robin said they were yelling ''Lock her up'' again at the rally.
Howard took a call from Fake President Trump who gave names to all of the guys in the studio. He said all of these gullible dipshits still believe in him. He asked if they still want him to build the wall. He had people chanting ''Build the wall.'' Trump said now he's going to drop his pants and fart on all of them. The crowd cheered when he farted.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders responding to the Trump campaign. Robin had some audio of him talking about what he thinks Trump is. Robin said they can't chant with any of that.
Robin read a story about Mitch McConnell batting around the term ''reparations.'' Robin said that they talk about reparations for descendants of slaves. Robin said McConnell says that we have made up to people for slavery by doing many things including electing an African American president. Howard said what this country did was rip people away from their families and made them work for free. Robin said that she'd take some reparations. Howard said she's from Jamaica. Robin said it's always that excuse that they never had any slaves. Robins said they were just thrown off their land. Robin said it was an introduction into mass poverty.
Robin read a story about how the house lawmakers are pushing back on Trump trying to remove transgender troops. Robin said Trump thinks it will make the troops more ready if they ban them. Howard said he doesn't think so at all. He said if you want to fight for this country then let them.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she never got to listen live but she's retired now and it's wonderful to hear the show live. She said she's Howard's age now and she loves listening. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. Howard said he hung up after she told him she was his age.
Robin read a story about David Ortiz being upgraded to good condition. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.