Howard started the show singing ''Black Hole Sun.'' He said he's singing a tribute to Chris Cornell. He said he loved his singing and his look and his songs. Now he's gone. Howard said rest in peace to Chris. Howard said he did the show at least twice. Robin said she was very hurt with that news. Howard said he didn't seem like the kind of guy to kill himself. He said he agrees with the family. Robin said he seemed to have it all together. Robin said he had a darkness but he seemed to be handling it. Howard said the wife and family are claiming he was on a medication and a friend of his was telling him that's the medication that makes you want to kill yourself. He said the family is claiming that but who knows.
Howard said Chris did two in studio appearances and one phoner. He said he liked the guy a lot. Howard asked when the news came out about that. Robin said she thinks it was Thursday. Gary said it was Thursday morning.
Howard said Thursday he got the news and wanted to be on the air talking about it. Howard said he'll do a tribute today. He said he was in his house picking his asshole while they were off. He said that's what he does. He said he can fill the day with picking his asshole and smelling his finger.
Howard said he heard the news and he loved Chris' music and they knew the guy. He said he was just 52 years old. Howard said all of a sudden everyone goes out and buys dead musician's albums. He said that he laughs at that but he forgot about it. Howard said he found himself going online and looking up all of his Soundgarden and other music. Howard said he was listening to it and doing his thing in the house. He said he was getting fucking depressed. He wondered why he was doing that to himself. He said he didn't feel right like he was going to go kill himself. He said he can get pretty fucking depressed as well.
Robin said she turned on Lithium in her car and they were running an interview with Chris and she couldn't turn it off even though it made her feel bad.
Howard said he had all of the music and he was listening to it getting sad. Howard said he was looking for signs of him being suicidal. Howard said he wondered what Black Hole Sun was about. He said he was researching Chris and found out it's about death. Howard played some of the song. Robin said there was another song that was hopeful and a love song. Robin said it was about someone who came into his life and made him forget about how miserable he was.
Howard said Beth is getting annoyed with him. He said that he was listening to the music and they decided to go for a walk. Howard said Beth texts a lot while they walk. He said she's going to fall into a ditch one of these days. Howard said he's walking along and singing ''Black Hole Sun'' and Beth is texting. Howard said he doesn't realize he's doing it. He said he thinks he sounds good but she shushes him. He said his singing really annoys her. He said she says she's going to sing it so she stops him. Howard said he knows she's not going to sing it. Howard said he's really getting to her after 17 years. Howard said it's kind of cute when you start out but now he's annoying her. Howard said she may have been texting her friends about how annoying he was.
Howard said he doesn't know that he's singing in a loop. He said he sings the same line over and over. It's evidently very annoying. Robin said Howard is unaware of what should only be done when you're alone. Howard said he was putting the whole walk. He said he was enjoying himself while she was texting. He said he's not sure what to do while she's texting. He said that kind of annoys him. He said maybe take some time out and be with her husband.
Howard said it was kind of a stand off. He said he stopped singing and she stopped texting. He said he was kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. He said then he didn't want to sing that song anymore. He said he loves that song but it's not his favorite. He said ''Pretty Noose'' is the best song. Fred played some of that song.
Howard said he's always off about guy's looks. He said he thinks Rob Zombie is the best looking guy. He said he wishes he could look like that. He said he thinks Chris is a good looking dude. Robin said he is. Howard said Chris had the look when he had the long hair. Robin said even when it was short he was still good looking. Howard said he didn't think that guy would kill himself with everything he had. He said he was taking this medication called Adivan and they're saying that might be the reason he did it.
Howard had some audio of Chris singing Ave Maria. He played that for Robin. Howard said it's beautiful. Howard said he can't wrap his head around that guy killing himself. He said so many singers from the 90s are gone. Howard went through a list. Howard said Courtney Love is still alive. Howard said Billy Corgan and Eddie Vedder are still around too.
Howard said that Chris had a great solo career and he was in a bunch of great bands. Howard said he's the one who should be found hanging. He said he looks like Ichabod Crane. He said his daughter graduated college and they were taking pictures. Howard said he didn't want to do it and it's not because he's famous. He said it's because he thinks he looks heinous. He said it's not about being famous. He said it's like having a picture taken with a monster. Robin told him to stop talking himself down.
Howard said he loved Chris Cornell. He said he was into the band Soundgarden. He said he loved the album Superunknown. Howard said they had 5 hit songs on it. Howard played some of those songs. He played ''Spoon Man'' and talked about how JD collects spoons. Howard said that's going to be his wedding song. Howard asked JD about the spoons he has. He said he has an Applebees spoon and one from Universal Studios. Howard played a song parody about JD to the tune of ''Spoon Man.'' Howard said Chris wrote that as a follow up.
Robin said she's reading about Adivan and they say to call your doctor if you have thoughts of suicide. Robin said no one is going to think to call your doctor. Robin said no one has ever had that thought. Robin said maybe make sure that medication doesn't give those thoughts.
Howard said he has an ad for a drug they advertise on FOX News and the side effects are longer than the benefits. Howard played a clip and they ran down the list of side effects and it went on and on. Robin said that's an anti cancer drug but it sounds like it's worse than death. Howard said that's a real commercial too. He said they didn't make it up.
Howard got back to Chris and played more of the music from that Soundgarden Album. Howard said it was a brilliant album. Howard said they started in 1984 and in 1991 they put out an album called Bad Motorfinger. He said they had the song Outshined on that one. He said then Chris started the band Temple of the Dog and they only pout out one song. Howard played that and they had Chris and Eddie Vedder trading vocals. Howard said it's a beautiful song. Howard said this is so sad.
Howard said Chris came in a couple of times. He said he has him singing ''Black Hole Sun.'' Howard sang it and said he sounds like a pirate singing it. Howard kept singing the song. Howard played some of Chris singing the song too.
Howard said he asked Chris about people thinking he's moody. Howard played a clip of Chris talking about how he's not that way now at all. Chris said they were trying to be cool in front of the other guys when he was moody back in the day. Howard said Chris also talks about the death of Kurt Cobain and what a shame it was. He said it was a shame for his daughter and the fans. Chris said it was a drag and he wishes it didn't happen. He said if he had hung on for 6 months things could have been different. Howard said that's why he thinks he didn't mean to commit suicide. Robin said that you have to last through the depression and you might make it.
Howard said sometimes he'll see someone online doing a cover version and they don't do it on the show when he asks. Howard said Chris was like ''Yeah!'' and said he'd do it. Howard said he saw him do ''Thank You'' the Led Zeppelin song. Howard said he asked him to do it in there. He said Chris made him realize what a love song it was. Howard said he realized just how fucking great the song was. Howard said Chris came in and did it early in the morning. Howard played Chris performing ''Thank You'' and said that was beautiful.
Howard said he was a good looking dude and he had the guitar thing going. Howard said that should have been him. Howard said he thinks depression is something we really don't understand. He said it's a real illness. Howard said not wanting to live when you have everything is something really sad. Howard said the whole thing doesn't add up in our minds. Howard said it must be some dark shit. Howard said he loved the guy.
Howard said Chris did a cover of a Prince song there at Sirius. Howard said he pulled that song too. Howard played him covering ''Nothing Compares To You'' at Sirius.
Howard played a clip from an interview he did with Chris where Chris was talking about covering songs and what it is that makes them worth covering.
Howard said he was a bright guy. He had him singing ''Imagine'' on the show in 2011. Howard played a few seconds of that too.
Howard said he had a beautiful voice. Howard said he told him that John Lennon was his favorite song writer of all time. Howard played a clip of Chris talking about John Lennon in an interview with him.
Howard said that he had a whole series of bad relationships. He told a story about being stabbed by a girlfriend. Howard played a clip where he talked about being stabbed through the hand.
Howard said he doesn't understand what happened there. He said he was a super great guy. Howard played another clip of Chris talking about covering songs as a goof but then it turned serious. He had a clip of him singing Michael Jackson's ''Billie Jean.'' Howard said when he did that song it turned into something he really liked.
Howard said he can't believe this guy is gone. Howard said back in 2011 he was so excited about music. Howard said just listen to him. He played another clip of Chris talking about how much he loved Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. He said there was something about them that makes you know their music as soon as you hear it. Chris talked about how he loved music as a fan and he never thought he'd play it.
Howard said on Friday on Howard 101 they'll have a tribute to Chris. Howard said that they have Soundgarden playing their whole Superunknown album for them in a special. Howard said he has to thank Chris for coming in there and being a great interview. Howard said he's very saddened by this. He said because Beth isn't there now he can sing ''Black Hole Sun'' for the fans and for Robin. Howard said he's going to do it in a very casual way. He started to sing the song. Howard said that's not annoying. He said in his mind he thinks he sounds good. Howard said now Fred is hanging in the corner. Howard said he can't believe it. Howard said he was a friend of the show. He's gone but not forgotten. Robin said the music will always be with us. Howard said he's not sure he can even listen to it. He said he gets upset. Robin said he listens to John Lennon's music. Howard said he gets sad over that too. Howard said John Lennon was the greatest talent to ever live. Howard said that Chapman guy is still in jail at least. Howard said Yoko shows up every year and makes sure he doesn't get out. He said he has to thank her for that.
Howard said he thinks The Rock should not be a movie star. He said you don't wanted to say anything that good about him. Robin said he's not a terrible person. Howard said he hates him beaus he's so successful. Howard said he has that stupid tattoo all over his body. He said you don't want him to do well but he was really funny on Saturday Night Live. He said he invented the robot that was a child molesting robot and that bit was great. He said the wrestling promos were great too. Howard said he was like ''Fuck him.'' Robin said he's promoting the Baywatch movie. Howard said that has to tank. Howard said Bobby Moynihan is leaving after 9 seasons too.
Howard said he didn't want to like Katy Perry but she was great too. Howard said he like that first song she did. Robin said there was no singing in it. Howard said that song is about Taylor Swift. He said it's against Taylor. Howard played some of the song he was talking about from Saturday Night Live.
Howard said he saw that Scarlett Johansson was on the show and he heard that she was sucking face with Colin Jost at the after party. Howard said no wonder Chris Cornell took his life. Howard said he heard that Colin is a good looking guy. Robin said ''No he's not.''
Howard said he thought the Katy Perry song was pretty interesting. Howard said he's in more of a Black Hole Sun mood though.
Howard said he'll talk about Roger Ailes dying too. He said he'll talk about that later on in the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling in from Florida. Howard asked where he's at. He said he's in Jensen Beach and it's about 80 degrees down there. Howard said it was warm there for like a day. He said that it was 82. He said in Florida it's that way all the time. Howard said up there everyone freaks out and start running to the beach. Howard said it's ridiculous. He said he has to get down to Florida. Howard said he has a place down there. He said he never sees that place. Howard said everyone complains about Florida but it's great down there.
Howard said there's a lot of Jews down there. The caller said there are pockets of them down there. The caller said he was listening to Deep Tracks over the weekend and he played ''My Time to Die'' and they said that was the last song Chris Cornell performed the night he died. Howard said he saw some video of that. He said it's sad. The caller said that it's like he had a plan.
Howard asked the caller about the DJ he was talking about, Jim Ladd, and asked about him working there. Howard said he gets a radio newsletter and they come out with the big ratings once a month. Howard said he used to know all of this shit. He said he heard about Preston and Steve who are on WMMR. He said he used to be up on all of that stuff. He said it's such a relief not having to look at that stuff. The caller said in his work truck he has to listen to terrestrial radio. He said he hates it. Howard said when he gets his rating reports he doesn't care. He said they were number 1 in Cleveland, New York, Philly and L.A. He said he thinks about going back to kick ass but then he gets his sanity back. Howard said now he doesn't know any stations out there.
Howard said he's reading about all of this stuff and wondering who is in these places now. Howard said Robin was nominated for some radio hall of fame thing. Howard said he was nominated for this and he asked for his name to be withdrawn. Howard said Robin's name was mentioned to be in a participating panel. Robin said give it to her or don't. She didn't seem to care. Howard said that he got all angry because the radio hall of fame is full of people who don't have any talent. Howard said he should the radio hall of fame and just call it Howard Stern. He said Robin is in the giant breasted news woman category. Howard said he hopes she wins. Robin said it's fine if she doesn't.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there were some rock festivals over the weekend. He said it seemed like Chris dying really hit deep. He said there were a lot of bands playing tributes to him. Howard said he did his tribute but Beth didn't like it. He said she told him to shush. The caller said his wife did that to him too. Howard said U2, Metallica, Ryan Adams and more were paying tribute to Chris. Howard said he was a well liked real talent. Howard said he's sorry he's gone. Howard said it's awful and depressing. He said that he should have called him and he would have cheered him up. Robin said you don't think of calling anyone. Howard said when you're that depressed you're not calling anyone. Howard said he's just sad he's gone. That's it. He was a good guy. He said he treated them nicely so he's a good guy.
Howard took a call from Steve from Florida. Howard said most people don't like him. Steve said that it's horrible. He said with the name he gets so much hate on social media. He said it's off the charts. Howard asked why he reads it. Howard said he doesn't read any. Steve said he just glances over it. He said it just brings you down. Howard said the one thing they don't want is a down Steve from Florida.
Steve asked Howard if he could pass a Billy Joel Piano Man quiz. Steve said he picked some questions to ask Howard. Howard said he doesn't know that much about Billy. Steve said he just wanted to have some fun with it. Howard said he doesn't know what he's doing. Robin said his questions used to really suck so now he's taken someone else's questions to ask. Howard said he'll play the game because Robin is open to it. Howard asked Steve who he's about to hang up on if the first question sucks. Steve laughed and said Steve from Florida.
Steve asked Howard about what Billy's first band was. He named a few and Howard said Chris Cornell's widow just called and said thank god he's not around to hear this question. Howard asked Steve to repeat the question. Howard gave up on it soon after. He said that he has to get out of this. They played Steve a song parody.
Howard said he has the president of the shitty caller hall of fame on the phone. He picked up and that guy said that two people were nominated, Steve and some asshole named Bobo. He said the votes are in and Steve is the winner. He said he won a year's prescription to Adivan.
Howard asked if they're done with the Billy Joel stuff. Steve had one more question but Fred played some music to play him off. Steve finished his question and Howard asked if they're done. Steve had one more. He asked that question and Howard said Billy just called and said he thinks this call sucks. Howard let Steve go after that. They played another song parody about Steve as they were letting him go. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was just in the bathroom singing his tribute to Chris Cornell again. Howard sang more of Black Hole Sun. He said he should call Beth and sing it for her. He said she goes nuts. Howard said he could tell her how he was going to sing it for her now. He said she'll go berserk. He said she does not like it. Howard asked Gary to get Beth on the phone. Gary said she gets so angry. Howard said it would be funny. Gary said she may be mad at him for the last time with the Name Game. Howard said she was kind of laughing about it last time.
Howard said he hears water. He said it's like wind chimes. Howard said he has to get that fixed. Howard asked Gary to try to get her but then said maybe not. Gary said maybe skip this one. Howard said she hates it. Howard said he gets it. He thought it was kind of cute that he was singing it though.
Howard took a call from Apples who asked what he thought of Katy Perry's short hair on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he doesn't like it. He said he saw her on Ellen and she was talking about how she had to cut it because it was damaged from dying it. Howard said he was thinking he should call Beth and sing Name Game and then do his Chris Cornell tribute song. Howard said Gary said that would be a crucial mistake. Robin said don't annoy people. Howard said he can't believe his singing is annoying. He said when they first met they went to Hawaii and they were sitting in the sun and he got sick. Howard said she thought he was cute even when he was sick. Now all he has to do is break into a song and she gets annoyed.
Howard let Apples go after he asked a question about how he might have to watch more porn if he annoys Beth. Robin said they're recommending that couples sleep naked together now. Howard said he has suggested Beth walk around naked in the house but she's very modest. Howard said she never says he should be too. Howard said he doesn't look good naked. He said everything is off. He said his ass is flat and filled with cellulite. Howard said his dick is small and his pubes are long. He said all he can turn a girl on with is his career and rock star hair. Howard said thank god he has his hair. He said that's his one saving grace. He said he still looks bad with the hair. He said imagine what he'd look like without hair. Robin said he'd look like his dad. Howard said that's not a great look. He asked who he's turning on.
Howard said he his mother talks about how she'd be celibate but his dad has needs. Howard said his dad doesn't even talk anymore.
Howard said he has some clips and they had some woman on Fox and Friends talking about Roger in a positive way. Howard said this woman, Ainsley Earhardt, has been at FOX for a long time. JD said she replaced Elisabeth Hasselbeck. He said she's been there a while. Howard asked how he missed her. JD said he's not sure. He said she was all broken up. Howard played a clip and Ainsley was talking about Roger saying he loved hard work. Howard said he did not. He said if hard work means show me your titties then he believes in hard work. Howard said this woman was there in her mini skirt.
Howard played more of the clip and said the reason they laugh at this is because a lot of the conservatives over there are into some preachy bullshit. Howard said they tell you how to live but then they say to get ahead you have to have a bra and panty show. Howard said cut the fucking horse shit. Howard said it's too hypocritical.
Howard said he doesn't think Trump even tweeted about this. He said he stayed away from this controversy. Howard said he loves the mini skirts and big titties. He said it's like the news being delivered at the Playboy mansion. Robin said they're saying that Roger's son is going to go after some of his dad's accusers. Howard said he has to calm down with that. Howard said always think of your dad as a creep and you'll never be disappointed. Howard said he thinks Roger faked his death and he's on an island with Bill Cosby.
Howard got back to Ainsley Earhardt and played more of her tribute to Roger Ailes. She was talking about how men are not perfect. Howard wondered if she felt that way about Sandusky too. Robin said it would be nice if they thought about gays that way.
Howard said Roger Ailes is dead. Howard said all of the news personalities had their own ways of dealing with it. Howard said they all glossed over the sexual harassment allegations. Howard said that Bret Baier just said he had some controversies. Howard played a clip of him glossing over that stuff.
Howard said Kimberly Guilfoyle is very beautiful and full figured. Howard said she said that Roger lived a complicated life. Howard played some audio of her talking about Roger. She said he was like a second father to her. Howard asked how he missed her. Howard said they all say he was like a second father. He said he must have asked them to come in his office and call him daddy. Howard played more of Kimberly's tribute to Roger.
Howard said he thinks of JD as a son. He told him to get in there and suck his dick. Howard said it seems like Roger loved you if you were hot and had big tits. Robin said the guys could look like anything. Howard said he appreciates those women on FOX News. Howard said they had a way of getting rid of women who aged. Howard said they had it down.
Howard said Geraldo was talking about how great Roger Ailes was. Howard said Geraldo said ''Before all this crap happened...'' when he was talking about that stuff. Howard said Geraldo would be pissed if something happened to his daughter. Howard played a clip of Geraldo talking about Roger.
Howard said they should have come on and just talked about what a perv the guy was. Howard said he likes Geraldo's logic about how he lived long enough to be outed as a pervert. Howard said if he bled out at his house a year before he'd be on Mt. Rushmore.
Howard said Shepard Smith talked the most about it. Howard played some audio of Shepard talking about Roger's death and crying while he was doing it. He said that he found it hard to believe when he heard about these accusations. Howard said it's fun to hear people gloss over this shit. Howard said it's like talking about how nice Jeffrey Dahmer is even though he ate people.
Howard said it's all bullshit. Howard said Bill O'Reilly came out with a podcast about it. Howard said some wind chime sound effect went off in the middle of that so he thought he was fucking Robin. Howard played some audio of O'Reilly talking about Roger and the wind chimes came in. He was claiming it was his phone. O'Reilly was defending the sexual harassment charges. He said Roger was never the same after that.
Howard said he has Bill on the phone. The guys in the back had some edited clips of Bill talking about the stuff they did while they were at FOX News. Howard asked fake Bill some questions and the guys had prepared answers for him. They had some wacky stuff that had Howard laughing.
Howard said Roger was a super talented guy because he understood TV so well. Howard said he is a fan of FOX News too. Howard said he watches it.
Howard said Roger created a huge news organization. He said that he had some talent with that. Howard said he understood the media and how to do that. Robin said he took news and mixed it with commentary. Robin said it wasn't like CNN. Robin said they were allowed to throw in their two cents.
Howard said Brent wants to come in because he thought he was going to be too nice about Roger. Howard had Brent come in. Howard said tomorrow Jamie Foxx will be in and on Wednesday Rachel Maddow will be in.
Brent came in and said he thought Howard was going to be too nice about Roger. He said that people tend to forget how bad people were after they die. Howard said he wouldn't want his daughters to have to go through something like that. Howard said he'd punch the guy out if they did that to his daughter. Howard said he's not sure what Roger was doing but it seems like some of these women aren't making this stuff up. They talked about Megyn Kelly leaving FOX News over it and not suing for money. Brent said he respects her for doing that. He said she went to NBC and he respects her for that. Howard said she has a really good looking guy for a husband. Howard said you don't sexually harass an attorney. Howard said that's the wrong thing to do.
Howard and Brent spent a few minutes talking about what Roger did to help Nixon get elected and things like that.
Howard asked what Brent wanted to do. Brent said just imagine if he put someone like that under a citizen's arrest. Robin said the guys who caught this guy just happened to be in the area. Brent said it's up to them to find guys like that.
Shuli came in and said that they share an office and Brent asked if he wanted to go check out the location. He said they went down and Brent went right up and started scanning the area with his phone. Howard said the police are doing that. Shuli said he thinks Brent thought something else might happen. Brent said you never know what might prevent another terrorist attack. Howard said he has to hang with these guys. Shuli said that this was so much fun. Howard asked if he had a magnifying glass. Shuli said Brent was on fire. He wanted to get around the block to get into this area. Howard said that he must look suspicious. Shuli said Brent thought they could get through with their passes for Sirius. Brent said press was being allowed through.
Howard asked what his game plan would be if he found a guy like that. Brent said that you do what you can to take them down and then hold them until the police arrive. He said that bouncer was a hero. He said he took the guy down and searched him for a weapon.
Howard said that he and Robin saw a bike being stolen once but they didn't do anything about it. Howard asked if Brent did anything down there. Shuli said they just stood there and went back up. Brent said they were pushed all the way back up to 49th. Brent said the cops were pushing everyone out of the way. Robin said Brent was just being a problem out there. Brent said he got out of the way. Robin said she just drove around the area to make sure she wasn't a problem.
Howard asked if Brent found any evidence in his video. Brent said he didn't but you never know what you might find. He said that you're more likely to be saved by a citizen than a cop.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was Brent's first boss and he told Howard Brent used to give him the best blow jobs. Brent said that doesn't sound familiar to him.
Shuli asked if Brent has ever come close to catching any criminals. Brent said he has not. Howard said he's like Colombo if Colombo had never come close to solving a case. Howard let them go after that.
Robin asked why Brent didn't go into law enforcement if he wants to catch criminals. Howard said it's the citizens who do most of that. Robin said it's the cops who do it but it's the citizens who catch terrorists. Howard said he loves radio too much to give that up. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
Howard said Sal went out on the street to find out what people think about Roger Ailes dying. Howard played a clip of Sal asking women if they think that these women suing Roger caused his death.
Howard said there is a female supporter of Roger in there. He played a clip of her talking about how she thinks that he was a good person and helped everyone out. She said they were selfish and creeps. Howard said she's an amazing woman. Howard said she says if he wants sex, just give it to him.
Howard had another clip of Sal talking to a guy about Roger Ailes and that guy was a supporter of his. He was telling them to suck his dick and good for Roger. Robin said that man needs to be arrested, where's Brent?
Howard played a song parody about Roger Ailes where they had clips of women talking about what he allegedly asked them to do.
Howard played a phony phone call Lee Kingsnatch made to this radio show hosted by a woman named Kathy. Lee had a friend on the phone with him who sang opera to Kathy.
Howard also played a Lenny Dykstra and Ronnie Mund album commercial parody.
Howard asked if Robin got that album yet. Robin said not yet. IT's not the kind of music she usually listens to.
Howard said he should get her on the phone. Gary said he can do that. Howard said he was singing while she was texting so he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Howard said he's going to sing it for Beth and she'll get annoyed. Howard said he was caught up in guitar for a while and Beth wouldn't even listen to that. Robin laughed.
Howard said he used to sing 'Old Man' and Beth didn't want to hear that. Gary said Beth can't talk. He said she's in the vet's office. Howard said he would only annoy her with his singing anyway. Howard said she's so into animal rescue it's ridiculous. Robin said she knows every specialist and everything that needs to be done and seen out there. Howard said they have a bunch of new kittens. Howard said they rescued a bunch of kittens from a drain pipe. Howard said they got 5 out of 6 of the kittens and they're living in the house now. Howard said they're almost ready to be adopted. Robin asked if Beth gets broken up when she gives them away. Howard said she does and so does he.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who asked what he thought about Melania not covering her head in Saudi Arabia. Howard said she shouldn't do it. Howard said fuck them. Howard said that a woman shouldn't have to cover her head. Howard said it's 2017.
Howard said he was reading an article in the NY Times. He said it was the greatest article ever. He said Sotheby's was having a big art auction and they had a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting sell for $110 million. Howard said he was reading about how many bidders send people to bid on these things. Howard said sometimes you don't know who spent that kind of money on a painting. Howard said they have a balcony there at the action and they have a scrim where Leonardo DiCaprio was hiding. Howard said some people like that don't like being seen. Howard said they say that Leo was there and he appeared to be canoodling with a female. Howard said this guy can't go anywhere without a hot chick. Howard said he still plays the angle even though he can get any chick he wants. Howard said she's going to want to fuck him either way. Howard said it's in a guy's DNA.
Howard said he was talking to his friend Wayne who owns a car dealer and he was telling him about how guys come in and tell their girl to pick out a color. Then the guy puts a deposit down and they hold the car for a while. Then the guy has no money and they don't buy the car. Howard said Wayne said he won't let guys do that anymore. He said they have to buy the car. Howard said Leo is doing that but on another level. Howard said Leo could bring a girl to a hanging and he'd still get laid.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it seems like he's crow barring his wife into every segment. Howard told him to get the fuck off his phone. Howard said he sits there entertaining people for 4 hours a day and that's what he gets. Howard said he's talking about his life so of course his wife is going to be included. Howard said you never hear about Human Newman's wife so tune into that. Howard said go watch Kelly and Ryan. Howard said he hates his listeners. He said he's getting new ones. He said what an asshole that guy is. Howard said that's a real crowbar move of his. He said he's sharing his personal life. He said it was all about Chris Cornell. Howard said just cancel all subscriptions so he can get out of there. He said return everyone's money. He said don't listen if you don't like it. Howard said he wants to go home.
Howard said he reads articles about crazy shit about how he doesn't know what he's doing. Howard said he's not an idiot. He said that his fans annoy him. Howard said he was watching the Billboard awards and they have the band The Chainsmokers talking about how they have to thank their fans. Howard said as soon as they stop writing hits their fans are going to bail. Howard said they're coming on the show soon actually.
Howard said he saw Weezer on Jimmy Fallon and they have a new song out. Howard said it sounded pretty good. Howard had some of the song to play. Howard said you have to stick with it. Howard said he watched them all the way through. He said that lead singer is Rivers something. Fred said it's Rivers Cuomo.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who was wondering if he's ever grown a long moustache. Howard said he had one back in the day. He said his moustache looked really bad. He said it's so stupid. Robin said he had one when she first met him. Howard said he was fat and had a moustache. He said he's not sure why he thought it would look good. He said that he'd smell it and tug on it all the time. Jeff said he has a good one. Howard said he doesn't believe him. Robin said he may be waxing the ends and twirling it. Howard said if he were Jeff he'd worry more about his health. Howard said people mistreat their body and then they wonder ''Why me?'' Jeff said he's not going to be like that. Howard said he's already like that. Jeff said he doesn't go ''Why me?'' Howard said he will do it eventually.
Howard said he doesn't know why he echoes with Jeff. He said he's trying to hang with him. Howard said he just read about a guy who had a fantasy of going to Mt. Everest but the guy went and died up there. Howard said he won't even walk on a main road because he's afraid of being hit. Howard said his parents don't do anything. He said his mother won't go out to eat anymore. Howard said they aren't being exposed to anything.
Jeff told Howard that he's not on Periscope. Howard said his parents wont give up. He said they aren't enjoying anything. Robin said that people who race boats are enjoying it right up until the end. Howard said Jeff has no right to say ''Why me?'' when something happens to him. Howard said it's weird that Jeff is still around but Chris Cornell is gone. Howard said Jeff has it all. He has that trailer and that moustache. Howard said he has the life that he's looking for. Jeff said he's not walking the streets.
Howard asked Jeff what he did all weekend. Jeff said he watched TV and drank. He smoked some weed too. Howard said the guy never had to work. He asked who the asshole is. Jeff said it's not him. Howard asked Robin who the asshole is. Robin said it isn't Jeff.
Howard let Jeff go and said that people want to see The Rock run as president. Howard said this is what's coming down to in the country. Howard said he made fun of it on Saturday Night Live but he's beating Trump in a real poll. Howard said people are off their rockers. He said people have to serve the public in some way before becoming president. Howard asked what that thought process is. Howard said it's a weird thought. He said The Rock is an idiot. Howard said he's not a great thinker. Howard said he's starting to think he's a genius. Howard said he's not though. He was a wrestler and now a movie star. He said that he should get a law degree and figure out how to read that stuff first. Howard said he can body slam ISIS. Howard said he enjoyed the guy on Saturday Night Live but so what. Howard said he's smart enough to know that he's an idiot. Howard said he's not qualified to be President.
Howard said when he ran for governor he was just goofing on it. He said he started getting votes and he wondered what the fuck people were thinking. Howard said he had 23 percent of the votes in the polls for that election. Howard said Sal was going to vote for him. He said Sal didn't care that he was going to be the worst governor ever.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man and said he'll take a break after that. Howard said he has to get to Wolfie at some point. He said he has some interviews of his to play. Howard said he may not have enough time.
Speech was clearing his throat so Robin asked who that was. Howard said it's Speech Impediment Man. He said he's like Gary clearing his throat first thing in the morning. speech let out a cough so Howard asked what the fuck is going on. Speech said he's just waiting. Howard said call in when he has his shit together. Howard said Gary has to clear his throat before he comes in the studio. He said he can hear it out there though. Howard said he can't even do it. Howard said you can hear every goober in his throat. Howard played a song parody with Gary clearing his throat in it. Howard said that's the soundtrack of his life.
Speech was laughing. Howard spent more time talking about Gary clearing his throat. Howard asked the guys who else hears that. JD said he does clear now and then. Howard said he does it just as he's walking in the studio. He said Gary knows he can hear it. Jason said that Gary does one last lap before he goes in. He said he'll walk back to the office and then clear it and then go back to the studio door. Howard said it's like a cuckoo clock. He said he's ready to throw up from it. Howard said he does it as he's walking into the compound but he's walking in at the same time as he is.
Howard asked the guys if the's correct about this. Jason said that he's backing him up on that clearing the phlegm thing. They played another song parody with Gary clearing his throat.
Howard said sometimes he can't eat from that. Robin said Gary says he can't help it because it's become a nervous tick. Howard said just wait for him to come into the studio and then do it. Howard said the guys think it's his terrible diet. Howard said he doesn't eat any vegetables.
Speech Impediment Man asked if Howard has seen the ''Alex Baldwin'' host the Match Game. Howard said he saw it the first time it was on. Speech said he thinks he's trying to be like Richard Dawson. Howard said he has to go. Speech asked if he's been contacted to host. Howard said he has had many offers to host game shows. He said at this point in his life it would be very difficult to take on more. He said his fantasy is to go home and watch the wall like Speech Impediment Man. Robin said it hasn't killed Jeff or Speech Impediment Man. Howard said his dad retired at 59 and sat home reading the paper. He said about 10 years after that his dad loved being retired. He said this is work. Howard said people say he'll go crazy if he doesn't work. Howard asked why he can't be like everyone else in the world. Howard said he doesn't love work. He said it annoys the shit out of him. Speech Impediment Man said he had one more thing to tell him. He said he's moving back to California and he's going to do more comedy. He said he's going to come back and prove him wrong. Howard wished him luck and let him go.
Howard said you never see anyone with a speech impediment make it. He said that he told this kid with a stutter on America's Got Talent that he might want to think about another career. Howard said he was trying to be nice about it but everyone got upset. Howard said he can't beat Nils Loftgren at basketball because he doesn't have the skills. Howard said Howie Mandel was arguing with him about this kid. Howard said just stop it. Robin said J-Lo is taking every job she can now. She said she's a singer and she's on that NBC show where she's a cop. Howard said it's called ''Blue'' because it blows. Robin said now she's going to be the host of a dance show after America's Got Talent. He said she's turning into Ryan Seacrest with tits.
Howard took a call from Apples who said that The Rock is a really hard working guy. Howard said he didn't say he wasn't. He asked if he's for real. Howard said that if The Rock is serious about being president then tell them what's in the health care bill. Howard said stop it with this nonsense already. Howard said he's in these dumb movies. Howard said go be mayor of a small town first. Howard said come on. He asked what the fuck he's doing. He hung up on Apples. Howard asked if everyone is that stupid.
Howard said he has nothing against The Rock but he shouldn't be president. Howard said he has done movies and it's fun, it's not hard work. Howard said he's going to throw up. He played a Ronnie the Limo Driver ''Ass Chreaks'' snack commercial parody and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he was the answer in a Jeopardy question recently. Howard played a clip where they mentioned a show they had that was canceled after one show. Howard said it was the King Schmaltz Bagel Hour. Howard said he was in such a panic. He said he had to get practice doing radio. He said then the Program Director said he was kidding around. He said he fired them on the air but then said that he was kidding around. Howard said he was pissed about something and fired them but then said he was kidding. Howard said he was working for free so how do you get fired? Howard said they had done a bit called Godzilla goes to Harlem and he thought it was pretty funny. Howard said maybe it was racial. Howard said then the Program Director said they weren't fired. Howard said he had some sleepless nights over that.
Howard said it's such a terrible thing to get fired from college radio. Howard said he was actually going to visit this weekend but he wasn't feeling so good. Howard said he was going to get escorted around by the dean there. Howard said it would have been nice. Howard said he'll go some other time.
Howard said on Wheel of Fortune this woman describes what she dose for a living and she's an emotional freedom technique life counselor. Howard played that clip and talked about how that's why it's best he's not a game show host. Howard said he'd say she sounds like a nut and just get back to the game.
Howard said Baba Booey was an answer to a question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Howard said they have Chris Harrison hosting the daytime version of the show. Howard played a clip and they had a question which mentioned Baba Booey as one of the options. The contestant had to use a lifeline on that one. Howard said he got it right when he used that lifeline.
Howard said everyone knows Baba Booey. Fred played clips of Gary clearing his throat. Howard said someone yelled out Baba Booey at a Mets and Braves game. Howard played that clip. Howard said that was a good one.
Howard said he has another one from a Mets and Diamondbacks game. Howard played that and two guys yelled it out in a row. Howard said that was two.
Howard said he has a 'Hit 'em with the Hein from a TV interview. Howard said this guy called himself Fred Norris and got in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' In the clip the guy was talking about gas price hikes. The guy said they're being hit with the Hein with that tax.
Howard said he has a High Pitch Erik update. Howard said he still has that podcast with Gonzo. Howard said he has a short fuse when he's on the air. Howard said some woman said Gonzo is better than him and he went berserk. Howard said it's funny to hear that with the high voice. Howard played the clip and Erik was getting pissed about that comment and Gonzo told him to calm down.
Gary told Howard that Erik and Gonzo have broken up and now Gonzo may be doing a show with Ass Napkin Ed. He said Erik is really pissed about that. Howard asked how they do a test show. Shuli came in to explain. Shuli said they might get paid for a monthly rate or something. He said Erik is not a fan of the negative feedback and the trolls. He said that the calls are important for the show and they all goof on Erik. Shuli said that Gonzo was texting him saying that Erik is threatening him over doing the show with Ed.
Howard asked Robin who she would fuck, Roger Ailes or Erik. Robin said she'd have to pick Roger. Robin said that he'd have to keep up his oral hygiene better than Erik.
Howard had some audio of trolls calling into Erik's show. Howard played some clips and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that Howard said High Pitch Erik is on the phone. Howard took the call and Erik said he's not bullying Gonzo at all. Howard asked if he told Gonzo he can't do the podcast without him. Erik said he did but he didn't threaten him. Robin asked what he'll do if he does it without him. Erik said that's up to him. He said without him he can't do it. Robin asked what that means. Erik said that he thinks he can do it better without him. Howard said he thinks he's not bullying him but he's saying he can't do it whiteout him. Howard asked what he's going to do about it. Erik said he doesn't think he can do it with Ed. Howard asked Erik if he bows out of this and Gonzo does one with Ed then what's wrong with that. Erik said he can't stand the negativity on the show. Howard asked what that has to do with him doing a show with someone else. Erik said he gets what he's saying. Howard asked if he's out of the podcast game. Erik said he wishes Gonzo the best luck ever. He said that he's not bullying Gonzo. Howard said he did tell him he can't do a podcast with Ass Napkin Ed.
Howard told Erik not to hang up and then start in with Gonzo after this. Erik said he won't. He said he's wishing Gonzo the best of luck. Howard asked if that includes Ed. Erik said he can't stand the haters and the negative phone calls on that show. He said without him it's not going to be fun anymore. Robin said then it will go away on its own. Howard said he sounds like Jackie a little bit. Robin said he thinks it's going to fall apart without him. Howard said good for Erik.
Erik said that Gonzo is in charge of the phone calls and he can't control it. Howard said it's Gonzo who is letting the negativity on the air. Howard asked why he's wishing him well. Erik said he's taking over the podcast.
Howard said he has Erik's toilet on the phone. The guys in the back were doing a voice for his toilet and Erik said go fuck yourself. Howard said Erik gets so irritated by dumb shit like that. Erik said that's because the toilet's a retard. Howard said Erik is out of the game and wishes the other guys well.
Erik said that Gonzo is his best friend. Howard asked if that's the case then why didn't he hang up on the callers. Erik said that he still loves Gonzo. He said ever since Joey passed away he's his new brother. Gary said Erik is in love with Gonzo. Erik said he loves Donnie first and then Gonzo. Howard said he thinks he has a crush on him. Erik said that he has to shave his beard thoguh.
Howard asked how Donnie's cock is. Erik said it's big. Howard asked if he could handle blowing him. Erik said that's hard to say. Howard asked if he could get 4 inches in there. Erik said it depends. Howard asked if he asked him to stop staring at his penis. Erik said he didn't care. He saw it the bathroom up there at Sirius. He said he knows he had a big penis.
Shuli said Erik has masturbated to 3 guys including Jimmy Kimmel, Donnie Wahlberg and Gonzo. Howard asked if he really did that to Gonzo. Erik said he did. Howard asked what his fantasy was with Gonzo. Erik said he and Gonzo were acting on Blue Bloods in his fantasy. He said he was interrogating him and he told him to take his shirt off so he could search him. He said he came all over his face. Howard asked what was going on in his Kimmel fantasy. Erik said he was in a cop movie with him. He said Jimmy was in prison and he told him to jerk him off and he came all over his chest. Shuli said that's some cop show. Howard said he's in the FBI. Erik said Jimmy is guilty of hiding drugs in prison. He has to give him a cavity search. Howard asked if Gonzo is another FBI agent. Erik said he is. He said Gonzo is the one who pulls the drugs out of his ass.
Howard asked Erik if he's gay. Erik said he's totally not gay. Howard said he's in the FBI so he's not gay. Howard said Erik has beaten off to more than 3 guys. He beat off to Stamos. Shuli said he likes Mike Woods the news guy too. Howard asked what that fantasy was. Erik said in that one he and Mike went on vacation together to Hawaii. Howard said this is a black weatherman. He asked how the sex is. Erik said there was no sex. He said they just laid by the pool or the ocean. Howard asked what it was like with Stamos. Erik said he sends him his headphones and he jerks off in honor of Stamos. Howard asked where his cum lands. Erik said it lands on his face and feet.
Howard asked if he cums on Stamos and if he has it dripping off his chin. Erik said it's dripping off his face on to his feet. Howard asked if Stamos jerks him off too. Erik said he does. He said Stamos loves it too. He said he tells him to do it for him because he loves him so much.
Howard said he has to get out of there so he let Erik go. Howard said he's sorry about the podcast. Erik said maybe one day he'll come back. Howard said he has this show.
Shuli asked if Erik has ever jerked off to him. Erik said no. Howard said that's kind of insulting. Erik said he respects Howard. Howard thanked him for not jerking off on his face. Howard said he's shocked by the Jimmy Kimmel thing. He said it must be the beard thing he's doing.
Howard let Erik go when he brought up a guy who made fun of Jimmy's baby. Shuli told him not to get involved.
Robin read a story about transgender students in Texas may be kept from using bathrooms that they're not supposed to use. Robin said she went to a bathroom the other day and it had both a male and female figure and there was a man in there. Robin said she thought she was in the wrong room but it turned out it was for anyone to use. Howard asked if Robin took a dump. Robin said she didn't have to. She said she looked at the guy and they just shrugged their shoulders. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how there are 6 siblings that are rightful heirs to the Prince estate. Robin said a judge ruled on that. Robin said they say his estate is worth about $200 million but it will continue to make money.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw commercials for free Sirius but they had no mention of Howard Stern. Howard asked why they would do that. He said that he's the biggest thing there. The caller said that he's glad he's off that stupid America's Got Talent. Howard said he's glad too. He said he liked doing it but then it was a drag. He said sometimes they'd ask him to mix it up with the contestants. Then he'd go too far and they'd edit it out of the show. He said it was enough.
Robin asked when a baby should have fruit juice. Howard said he's no expert but he'd say about 1 year old. Robin said he's right. Robin said they say it's not good for kids under a year. Robin read some details about that report.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said when people tell you not to sing or whatever, and he's not talking about his wife, they think you've got it too good. Howard said he's going to go think about that. He let King go after that.
Robin asked if Howard saw the video of the seal grabbing the girl. Howard said he did and he liked it. Robin told Howard about another guy who died when he got squashed by a big game hunter. Howard said that you should take no joy in killing an animal like that. He said you don't have balls on you if you do that. Howard said these animals are caring and have a society. Robin told Howard about the seal story and how the seal grabbed this little girl off a dock. Howard said they tell people not to feed the sea lions but they do and then it grabs this girl into the water. Robin said that someone jumped in right away and saved the girl. Robin said don't feed the wild animals.
Robin read a story about Billy Bush and how he's speaking out for the first time since the trump tape was leaked. Robin said he's saying he was just there but Trump got voted in as President. Howard said he's getting out there little by little. Robin said Billy tried to make a comeback before but he's been staying home with his little girls. Robin said he went on a spiritual retreat. Howard said that's something Robin would do. Howard said she didn't even do anything wrong. Robin said Billy has also saying he was going to apologize but he never got back on the air to do that. Howard said he should come in there to do that.
Robin read a story about the Bill Cosby trial getting under way in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. Robin said that they are going to sequester the jury for the trial.
Robin read a story about how Bob Beckel had to be fired from FOX News again. Robin read the details of that story.
Robin read a story about the Billboard Awards being on last night and went over some of the winners and some of the things that happened at the show. Robin had some clips for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Melania Trump not being happy with Sean Spicer. Robin said she thinks that the leaks that are coming out are because the press corps aren't there for her husband and Spicer isn't doing a good job.
Robin read about Trump being in the middle east over the weekend and had some clips for Howard to play.
Howard read some email about fake Trump who was in last week. Howard tried to get Anthony Atamanuik's name right but Gary had to help him. Howard said that people wrote in about Sal's ''My Cock is Gone'' anniversary. Howard said some people want Benjy back in the studio but some don't. He read through a few other emails.
Robin read a story about Sasheer Zamata announcing she won't be returning to Saturday Night Live next season. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the investigations going on and they're going to be investigating the firing of James Comey. Robin had some audio of Marco Rubio talking about that.
Robin read a story about John McCain having a problem with Trump calling James Comey a nut case in front of the Russian diplomats. Robin had some audio of McCain talking about that.
Robin read a story about a guy who saw a star become a supernova in a distant galaxy. Robin asked if Howard could do that as a hobby. Howard said no way. He said he would sleep outside and he never looked up. He said it's boring. Robin said you can do it from inside your home. Robin said this guy was in his home laboratory and he noticed a change in a star. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about how he saw something change. Fred played snores. Howard said he isn't into that stuff. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus is coming to an end. Robin said the final performance was held over the weekend. Robin said they stopped using live elephants last year. Robin said there was a sharp drop off in ticket sales after that. Howard said he thinks the 3 rings did them in. He said it was too much for people to watch. He said it's like watching 3 movies at the same time.
Robin read a story about the Detroit Comic-Con and how Sean Astin was at this one. Robin said he's the son of Gomez. Robin said he was in the Lord of the Rings movies. Robin had some audio of Sean talking about that Comic-Con.
Robin read a story about the new Bachelorette being engaged to one of the contestants on the new season of the show.
Robin read a story about the new Alien Covenant knocking Guardians of the Galaxy movie out of the number 1 box office spot. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how every morning for the last 20 years he's asked Fred how he's doing and he doesn't hear him because he has headphones on. He said this morning he just said ''Nevermind.'' Howard said it amuses him every day. Fred said he never knew. Howard said Benjy used to try to tap him on the shoulder but he'd tell him not to bother.
Howard said his new fascination is Billy Bush. He said you didn't see him for a really long time after the Trump thing. He said that Billy lost his job at the Today show. Howard said his team has figured it's time to emerge from the ashes and try to get some work. Howard said people are asking why now? Howard said he thinks that maybe he's gone through some of the $9 million he got from NBC. Howard said either that or somebody figured it was time to get his name back out there. Howard said there's a teaser clip where Billy will be going on Good Morning America. Howard said you get drips and drabs of what's going on but now with the Ariana Grande bombing they may not get to it. Howard said he never predicted it would be at an Ariana Grande concert. Howard said he figured a Miley Cyrus concert. Howard said this is a horrible thing.
Howard said he has a teaser clip for the Billy Bush interview. Howard said he claims that after the incident he went to some sort of retreat and it sounds like a spa to him. Gary said it's in Napa and they have no communication at all for 7 days. He said you're alone with your own thoughts for 13 hours a day. Howard said he couldn't handle that. Gary said Billy was talking about bashing the negative patterns away with a baseball bat. Howard said that's only for celebrities.
Howard said the problem with Billy Bush is that he had a golden job. Howard said when he was starting out he would say stuff that got him in trouble. He had a high stress job. Howard said Billy didn't have that. He said his whole job was not to offend anyone. Robin said she's not even sure how he got on TV. Howard said he's a less controversial Ryan Seacrest. Robin asked how that's possible. Howard said he didn't offend anyone. Howard said Ryan has a job where his whole job is to just be pleasant. Howard said it was everything that his own career wasn't. Howard said he hated everyone and can't stand anyone. He said he's anti-everything. Howard said some people even said that Ryan was grown somewhere on a cue card reading farm.
Howard said you're not even sure where Billy Bush came from. He said he could do anything he wanted to do on the show. He said he had to smile and laugh and not offend anyone. He said he fucked it up. Howard said he went on TV with Trump and when he said he likes to grab women by the pussy Billy just laughed. Howard said that was it. You can't be caught.
Howard said if that happened to Ryan Seacrest he'd be out too. Howard said most of what he does doesn't offend anyone. Howard said when you have a golden job like Ryan and Billy had you just blend in with the wall behind you. He said you can't be the front man. He said he likens it to Tofu. He said it's there but it's not. It's bland. He said you have to put a lot of shit on it to be noticed. He said they're like Tofu with nothing on it.
Howard said Ryan Seacrest once said he prays that he doesn't say anything that offends anyone. Robin asked if that's true. Howard said no, just play along. Howard said Nick Cannon put on a turban and NBC got rid of him. He said the executives got freaked out by that. He said he's not shitting you about that. He said they really freaked out. Howard said he has to be Tofu and blend in with the wall. Howard said you can go one of many ways. He said you can be nice and pleasant but you have to wake up every morning and say ''Be mediocre.'' He said you can't say anything funny or offensive. Howard said a lot of what he says is offensive.
Howard said he did 15 minutes about something that was so offensive that he can't even say it himself. He said that's how fucked up everything is. Howard said Billy is going to go out and be interviewed by everyone now. He said once they see who he really is that's it. Gig over.
Howard said in this clip Billy Bush whips out the card to prove that he's okay and that's his daughter. Robin said he has 3. Howard said he knows what that's like. Howard played the clip and Billy was talking about his daughter Mary and what he told her about laughing along with Trump in that bus. He didn't have a good answer for that. Howard said he would have told Mary that she has to get fucking real. Howard said he was on a bus with Trump and he's just going along with it. Howard said he wanted to get the fucking interview and put money on the table. Howard said he'd tell her not to bust his balls over that. Howard said he'd ask her to get on his team. Howard said if he told Trump he was talking like an asshole he would have been out of work even sooner.
Howard said he's doomed. Robin said it wasn't about what Donald said. It was about him telling Donald to look at the woman who was heading toward him and asking what he thought of her. Howard said he heard Billy is going to talk about going to a Tony Robins seminar. Howard said he doesn't get that. He said Tony came out and said something. Gary said in an arena Tony walked out and went up to Billy and said ''One moment in your life doesn't define who you are.'' and the audience cheered. Howard said they walked over hot coals too, right? Gary said they did. Howard said he doesn't understand that.
Howard said go hunt terrorists with Brent if you want to do something. He said Billy is fucked. He said he doesn't see him working his way out of this one. Robin said Pat O'Brien never came back. Howard said he got a shot but he didn't get back to the same. He said you can't have that creepy shit going on. He said women don't like that. He said you have to keep that whole ruse going.
Ronnie came in and told Howard about how he sleeps nude always. He said sometimes in the middle of the night you don't know what's going to happen. He said Stephanie sleeps nude too. Howard said sometimes things happen. Ronnie said it happened last night. He said he was asleep and Stephanie likes to cuddle up. He said she did and he must have felt it in his subconscious. He said the next thing he knew they were doing it in the dark. Howard asked if he woke up fucking. Ronnie said yeah. He said she was watching TV and he hates that when he's trying to sleep. Howard said he does that and it doesn't bother Beth.
Howard asked if Ronnie watches ''Into the Badlands.'' Ronnie doesn't watch it. Howard said the season finale was so stupid. He said the master karate guy is going up against this big fatso and they're doing all of this fighting and they only have swords and knives and things like that. He said they battle for 10 minutes and they're flying through the air. Then the good guy takes his sword and plunges it into the guy's chest. He said the guy is dead. Then he goes over to his wife and tells her that the guy is dead. Then he rises up and grabs the wife and kills her. He said he was like ''Fuck this show.'' He said you always go over and check to see if the guy is dead. Howard said he was clearly dead but then he just rises up. Howard said it was like nothing happened. Howard said ''Fuck you Into the Badlands.''
Howard said he loves these fighting shows but these mother fuckers... He said they had a 10 minute battle where the sword went through the guy and he doesn't chop off his neck. Howard said he should have.
Howard said Ronnie was fucking while he was watching Into the Badlands. Howard said he was actually in bed by 6:30 last night. He said he played one game of chess and lost and then he went to bed. He said he has the hope of winning and he loses. Howard said he plays on the computer on the ICC. Ronnie said you don't know who you're playing, right. Howard said he doesn't. He said that he would play against people who would let the timer run out so they'd win. Howard said that they'd be losing and they should have resigned but they don't. He said they make him sit there waiting. Howard said he would write a note to them and ask what kind of person they are. Howard said he'd sit there waiting for his win. He said he imagines that he could be getting pussy but he's playing 7 year olds on the internet.
Howard said he never sleeps naked. He said your ass is on the sheets. He said it's disgusting. Ronnie asked if anyone there sleeps naked. Fred said he doesn't. Howard said he heard he was going around asking. Ronnie said he asked JD this morning. JD said yesterday he did say something about the news story. Ronnie said he wasn't talking to anyone. He said he just made a comment.
Howard asked if Ronnie looks good naked. Ronnie doesn't know. He said he doesn't care. He said that Stephanie doesn't say anything about it. Howard said Ronnie has hair all over his back. Ronnie said he shaves it off with a Man Groomer. He said whenever he mentions it he gets a ton of stuff from them. Ronnie said they have all kinds of attachments for cutting the hair. He said it works well. Ronnie said it's so much nicer without the hair in the summer. Howard asked if Stephanie feels stubble back there. Ronnie said that's not his problem. Howard asked if he gets hair all over the rug. Ronnie said he does it in the bathroom. He said he has a whole process. He said he tries not to clog up the drain with it. Ronnie said he lays down newspaper and throws it out.
Howard said he wondered why he was buying newspapers. Howard said he knows he doesn't read it. He said he heard Sal shaves his belly and chest every day. He said he's such a douche. Howard said he has to wear underwear at night. He said he dribbles at night. Ronnie said he doesn't have that problem. He said his prostate is a little enlarged. He said next week he's going to his urologist dude. Ronnie said he doesn't have the dribbles yet. Howard said his dick has a turban. He said NBC never found out about it though.
Howard said after he pees he takes two tissues and sticks them around his cock in his underpants. He said he gets dribble. Robin said he pulls his pants back up after that. Howard said he does. He said he has a turban around his dick. He said sometimes after he jerks off he does that and then forgets and pulls it off too quick and it hurts. Howard said he's wrapped up for the night. He said he has work to do if he has sex with Beth. He said he doesn't want her to see his turban.
Howard said he has too many bodily fluids coming out of him. He said his dick gets irritated if it's flopping around. He said it irritates him. Howard said he doesn't want to be nude. He doesn't like it. Ronnie said he loves the feeling of the sheets on his dick.
Howard said he's horrified by his body. He said he's shocked that they're not. Ronnie said she has to look at it, not him.
Howard said Beth has told him that the guys she was with in the past would walk around naked and she was grossed out by it. Howard said they weren't The Rock or anything. Howard said he's trying to convince her that he's Orlando Bloom. Howard and Ronnie saw a story about Orlando fucking a waitress that was really hot. Howard said Donald Trump taught him years ago that waitresses are hotter than actors. Howard said they're friendly too. Howard said Orlando Bloom, according to this article, broke up with Katy Perry and went out and fucked this waitress. Howard said Katy wasn't hot enough for Orlando. Howard said he saw him naked with Katy and his cock was huge. Howard said if he had one like that he'd be nude all the time. Howard said then he'd be naked. Howard said you don't even see him in a lot of movies because he's so busy fucking. Ronnie said that's what that waitress said about fucking him. Howard said this woman worked at a hotel and Orlando was there for 5 days. He invited her up to his room for a drink and he fucked her. Howard said after that she wasn't angry. He said they came in and saw her in the room and she got fired over it. Howard said she was like ''I don't give a fuck'' and let them fire her. Howard said this chick never got his phone number either.
Howard said there is no phone numbers exchanged or anything. He said he just fucked her. Howard said this woman said she won't comment on what happened. He said she's smoking hot. Howard said she said he banged the fuck out of her. Howard read some details about how amazing it was for her and how he was a great lover. Robin said now they know what his real talent is.
Robin asked how they put beautiful women in a hotel and don't expect them to do stuff with people. Howard said that he wants Fred to call the Post and let them know what a good lover he is. Fred said he's the best he's ever had.
Ronnie asked what Howard sleeps in. Howard said he told him a few minutes ago. He said he sleeps in a t-shirt and he has to change it in the middle of the night because he sweats through it. Howard said even Beth gets wet from his sweat. Howard said he's a mess. He said he has hot flashes like a woman. He said his body thinks he is a woman. He said he got a note from Adam Levine asking if he really watches The Bachelorette. He said he wanted to blow his brains out after watching it. Howard said he told him not to be so macho. Ronnie said he's glad Stephanie doesn't watch that shit.
Howard said they have the first black Bachelorette and he didn't see it last night. Howard said it's the first one. Howard said they usually have white people as the Bachelorette and they have like 2 black people on and they wait a couple of weeks before kicking them off.
Howard took a call from a guy who was dry heaving talking about Ronnie sleeping naked. Howard told him about shaving his back and all of that stuff and the guy kept dry heaving. Howard told him more and more and the guy would dry heave. Howard said he shaves his back every 2 weeks and then rolls over on his girlfriend. Ronnie said he's not sure what even happened last night. He said he woke up with a hard on or something and she asked if he was supposed to be sleeping. He said he was wide awake. Howard said he's so romantic. He asked Robin how romantic that is. Robin said when he got to the piss hard on she was taken. Howard and Fred did their Ronnie impressions talking about his piss hard on. They went on and on talking like Ronnie might do with Stephanie.
Howard said he likes Ronnie's subconscious. He said that his conscious thoughts are bad and so are his subconscious thoughts. Ronnie said she signed up for it. Howard said he told her to squirt or drink his pissy jizz. Ronnie said the piss boners are the best. Howard said it points to where it's supposed to go. Ronnie said they're like logs. Howard said that must be some bedroom. Robin said there's nothing more romantic.
Howard said there's Ronnie's sex life. Howard said those piss hard ons are the best. Fred said she's going to be wearing his balls like hairy earrings. Ronnie said they're not hairy. Howard said he makes creepiness an art form.
Howard thanked Ronnie and let him go. Howard said no one else came forward to say they sleep nude. Howard said Richard must. He asked if he does but then said he doesn't care. Sal said he doesn't sleep nude. He sleeps in sweats. Ronnie asked who does that. Howard said he doesn't know. He said it's enough of this. Howard said he's a sleep expert. They played a song parody about Ronnie and went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows it's not really valid but he wondered how he feels being number 6 on the Talkers.com heavy 100 list. Howard said he's not sure what that is. Howard said it's ridiculous. The caller said that Glenn Beck is only one spot ahead of him. Howard said he knows he's the greatest. The caller read the people who were on the list ahead of him. Howard said that's fine, what can you do? Howard said they can suck his piss hard on. The caller asked if they're right up there with him. Howard said there's no comparison. Howard said they do the same drivel every day. He said there's no creativity there. He said he admires they can make a living from doing it. Howard said he just read on Smalkers.com that he's number 1 and number 1 through 100. Howard said it's ridiculous. Howard asked who Mark Levin is.
Howard said that any of those shows are interchangeable with the others. Howard said he guarantees they're all the same over and over again.
Howard said they're a bunch of cunts. Robin said they should sleep with Ronnie with his piss boner. Howard asked when they did a show about piss hard ons. He asked when they made you laugh. Howard said never. He said you can't compare his show to a bunch of conservative dudes who are busy sucking Roger Ailes' cock. Howard said give him a break. He asked what that is. He said he doesn't put anyone down but the guy who was the best at that was Bob Grant. He said these guys are all doing impressions of Bob. He said Bob could make you laugh though.
Howard said that chick Orlando Bloom fucked was really hot. Howard said Trump was right about waitresses. Robin said he did say that the Hollywood women weren't that hot. Howard said he wishes he had that clip to play.
Howard said they told the Wack Pack that Richard Christy is having a baby and Underdog Lady had some suggestions for him. Howard played a clip of Underdog telling him not to let his child believe in characters like Santa, the tooth fairy and others. She said that you lie to them and then they're not expected to lie. Howard said it bothers her that someone told her that Santa was real. Underdog said it sets the child up for embarrassing situations where they can look foolish.
Howard said some parents take nude pictures of their child and it must have happened to her and it embarrassed her. Howard said that her two thoughts were don't tech your kids that Santa is real and don't take any nude photos of them to show around.
Howard said that Underdog attended a baby parade too. Howard played a clip of Underdog talking about being at the parade and what went on there. She said they have a lot of people in the parade and they have some guest VIPs and that's where she comes in. Howard said they kind of hang and be part of the parade. Howard said they're on display.
Howard said Underdog started complaining that a 5 year old yelled Howard Stern at her and she got upset. Howard played a clip of her talking about that. She said it was a 5 year old child and her parents must have told her to do that. She said they should get a kick in the belly. She said they earned points toward hell. Robin said she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out there is no hell for them.
Howard said Underdog had to ride in the back of a pick up truck to the parade. Howard said he should catch up on some breaks and catch up on some Wolfie stuff. Howard said he went to Big Foot's place so they can learn about that. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that Baba Booey should play that ''Beat Shazam'' game that Jamie Foxx is promoting today. Howard said that he likes that song he's on with Kanye West. Howard said it's something about a broke nigga. Robin said it's ''Gold Digger.'' Fred played some of the song for Howard. Howard said he likes that song. He said he likes what Jamie Foxx is doing on that song. He said it's harder than what Kanye is doing. Howard said he can't sing that song out loud. He said that might not go over very well.
Howard said he's going to give this Big Foot embedded update. Howard said they sent Wolfie up to see Big Foot in Vermont. He said Big Foot is 59 years old. He's been on the show more than 10 years. Robin said she didn't know that. Howard said he won a contest in 2006 for their next Wack Packer. Robin said she didn't know that either. Howard said it stuck and he's like their national treasure.
Howard said Big Foot lives in an apartment with two squatters. Howard asked how that happens. Wolfie was on the phone and said these people moved into a room and maybe he can't articulate to the authorities what's going on. He said one of them is in that room at all times. He said they have Big Foot conned in a lot of ways. He said they steal his stuff and they have him thinking he owes them money.
Howard said Wolfie said that the apartment building looks really run down. He said it looks like it would collapse in a strong wind. Robin asked how they stay in there. Wolfie said he's seen animals that have a better place to live. Howard said he saw a video online where this bulldog was showing off his living conditions and it might be better than this. Howard said Wolfie said this is like an outhouse with a couch. Wolfie said exactly.
Howard had a clip of Wolfie knocking on the door and Big Foot asks if he wants him to blow him. He had his brother there and said that he's not willing to suck on his knob for $100. Big Foot said he'd do that to Wolfie for $100. Wolfie said that's alright and passed on the offer. Howard said this is why he never gets solicited by Jehovah's witnesses.
Howard said Wolfie wrote about how there was trash all over the apartment and found a pile of French fries on the carpet just sitting there. Howard played a clip of Wolfie asking about that. Big Foot said that was from a guy the night before. Wolfie asked if he would still eat them. Big Foot said he probably would. Howard said no one picks them up. Howard said it's weird because they just save food for later on the dirty carpet. Wolfie said there's food everywhere. He said it was a pile of French fries in the middle of the carpet. Howard asked if they refuse to clean up because they blame others for making the mess.
Wolfie said it didn't look like they did anything to clean up before he got there. Howard said the room was infested with spiders too. Wolfie said his bedroom had spider webs everywhere. He said it looked like the Addams Family. Howard said you have to listen to this. He played a clip where Big Foot talked about sleeping on the couch because he gets bitten by spiders in the bedroom. He had bite marks on his legs. He said the spiders are the same size as a quarter.
Howard said it sounds like the gateway to hell. Wolfie said he sent him some pictures. Howard said he saw some. Howard sneezed and got obsessed with that for a few seconds. He was shocked at how loud it was. He said he may have shit in his chair too.
Howard said Big Foot is like an open book. He said he let Wolfie interview him while he took a shit. Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Big Foot as he was about to shit. Wolfie asked if he could stay and Big Foot was fine with it. He shit and let out some farts. Then he was pushing to get it out. Wolfie said it was an awful smell. Wolfie was dry heaving. Howard said all of the spiders are dead now so there's some good news. Wolfie said he shits every hour and he has diarrhea every time.
Howard played another clip where Wolfie was asking Big Foot about the dirty towels on the floor of the bathroom that had shit on them. Wolfie asked if he wipes his ass with those towels. Big Foot said he has no idea who left them there. He said he didn't do it. He said they've been sitting there for months.
Howard said it's nice that the towels say His and Hers and they're written in shit. Wolfie said they're brown and he still uses them. Howard said it's so disgusting.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Big Foot about shitting in his sink. Big Foot said he shit in the sink and stained it. He said he was having diarrhea and when he has to go he has to get it out as fast as he can.
Howard said Wolfie must have PTSD after this. Wolfie said it sticks with you a long time. He said he'll never forget that experience.
Howard played another clip of Big Foot talking about how he showers just once a week. He only has a couple of teeth left so he never brushes them. He doesn't use mouth wash or anything. He said he hadn't brushed his teeth in years. Wolfie said he described taking a shower and how it's like an oil spill.
Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking about how he's a clean freak and how he doesn't like dirt or dirty places. He doesn't even own a vacuum. He sweeps the carpet with a broom about once a week. Howard laughed. Robin asked when the cleanliness comes into action. Wolfie said the floor is covered in cigarette butts and stuff. He said there's no way to clean it.
Howard played another clip of Big Foot talking about his false teeth and how hard it is to talk with them. They were popping out and he kept talking with them halfway in. Howard said he sounds like JD with those in.
Howard said Wolfie must be glad he didn't let him blow him for $100. Wolfie laughed. Howard asked if he would have done it for 20. Wolfie let out an ''Ugh.'' He said Big Foot stores his teeth in an ash tray. Howard said it's so fascinating.
Howard said Big Foot told Wolfie about masturbating and how strange that is. Howard played a clip and Big Foot talked about using his left hand to jerk off. He said he sucks his thumb on the right hand and then he jerks off with the left. He said it helps him dream about the girls he's had sex with. Howard said he's like a masturbating baby. Wolfie said there isn't one thing normal about him.
Howard asked Wolfie why he asked about Memet. Wolfie didn't remember. Howard said Big Foot knows more about sex than Memet. Howard said they talked to Memet about using condoms once. Big Foot said you have to wear them because these women could have a lot of STDs and things. Howard said look who's making sense.
Howard said he also talks about women he takes home with him. Howard played that clip and Big Foot said he cons women into coming home with him to smoke up. He said he might have some weed with them.
Howard said this is some exclusive. Howard said in this clip he talks about being bi-sexual and losing his virginity at 18. Big Foot said he shot a load in her 22 times. Howard said he must not know what he's talking about. He said he's one in a billion. Wolfie said he's barely human.
Howard said Big Foot is understanding. He said he dated a transsexual named Danielle. In a clip Big Foot talked about doing crack cocaine with her and how he fucked all night long. He said it was about half a dozen times. He said he made her moan all night long. Howard said she had a dick so he must have been fucking her in the ass.
Howard asked where he gets money for crack. Wolfie said he has a variety of ways of making money. He said all of that sex happens in the living room. He said the squatters have to walk right past all of that.
Howard said Big Foot likes to smoke weed and he spends about $50 every 2 days. Howard said he gets money from the government and spends it on that stuff. Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking about how that $50 worth of weed lasts about 2 days. Howard had another clip of Big Foot smoking up too.
Howard asked Wolfie if it smells when he coughs. Wolfie said it does and he had Purell with him so he was constantly using it on his hands and face. Howard said Big Foot's brother was there too and he was helping out with his will. Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking about the will thing and how he sleeps and dies in his sleep because of ''Sleep Acne-ah.''
Wolfie said he's not sure how he keeps living. Howard said he pan handles out in front of a Dunkin' Donuts. Howard said he does it without gloves on in the winter. He said he was out there doing it in front of a No Loitering sign. Howard had a clip of Big Foot talking about that sign and explaining what he means. Big Foot had a hard time saying Loitering. He knew he was doing it but he didn't move.
Howard said that's too great. He said he loves that guy. He said Big Foot used to work at a junk yard. Howard said he would drink gasoline thinking it was beer. Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking about that. Big Foot said he has no idea what it does to your brain. Howard said he heard he gets 100 miles to the gallon.
Howard said Big Foot has a beautiful voice for radio. Howard said he drank gasoline. He said that's how he became Big Foot.
Howard said poor Big Foot. He said no one is taking care of him. Robin said he'd have to have someone cleaning up after him. Howard said that's why he shits every hour. It's the gasoline. Howard said he might blow up the toilet.
Wolfie said that toilet paper is like currency in that apartment. He said if you leave it in the bathroom they steal it. He said it's the same thing in the shower. He said if his wallet is in there they will rob him. He said they steal everything. Wolfie said they need to step in and get those people out of his house. Howard said maybe he's the squatter. Wolfie said he got the sense that the finances the government pays is enough for that place. He said he did talk tot he squatters but they didn't want to be on microphone. Howard said imagine you're squatting at Big Foot's house.
Howard said Wolfie found out that Big Foot didn't get far in school and his teachers just made him clean. He only got through 6th grade. Wolfie asked what his best subject was. He said he was doing janitor work instead of learning. Howard said if he had that Ann Sullivan helping him maybe she could have done something for him. He said she helped Helen Keller.
Howard played another clip of Big Foot talking about how he'd slam his head into the cement as a kid to make himself have accidents. Robin said that was his first attempts at getting high.
Howard said Wolfie risked his life going up there to Big Foot's house. Howard took a call from Balls who said that he wants to wire brush himself after hearing the stories about the spiders. Howard asked if Fred does a Big Foot impression. Fred did one for him.
Robin asked what he rents out his apartment for. Wolfie said it's like $50 per weekend. Howard said he has to take a break so he can get to Jamie Foxx. Howard let Wolfie go and played a Big Foot song parody. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said he has Jamie Foxx there. He said he's got a lot going on. He said he's like the most successful guy in show business. Jamie came in and said come on. Jamie said he has a fan who is his manager. He said she just said she's sweating right now and she can't believe she's there. Howard asked if she's hot. Jamie said she's gorgeous. He said they were just talking about how many years they've been listening to Howard. Howard said it might be time for him to go. He asked if he's out of touch. Jamie said no. He said there's so much irrelevant shit out there. He asked if Michelle is there. Howard said they're going to get this out of the way. Howard said he'd love to be his manager. Howard asked if she gets a piece of everything he does. Howard said Michelle is going to get a lot more than a hug. Howard said she's very beautiful. Howard said he's going to Orlando Bloom her.
Howard asked Michelle how she became his manager. Michelle said it's fantastic. Howard asked who she has other than him. She said she has Rick Yorn, Leonardo DiCaprio and some others. Michelle said she's freaking out being there. Howard said he usually looks better than he does today. Jamie said she was moved when she found out she could go with him. Howard said he'll do some pictures with her after the interview. Howard asked what kind of money she's getting from Jamie. He said she must get 10 percent. Howard said she must have some money.
Jamie said he has a great team. He said he loves his old team as well. He said shit happens so fast. He said he remembers the Oscars and how he won for Ray. He said his team changed. He said he was told he couldn't be in certain things. He said what he did was say he wasn't doing that. He said he let them keep the Oscar. He said he did a comedy show and he had a joke about Oprah Winfrey and they told him he couldn't say that. Howard asked what it was about. Jamie said everyone thought he was dating Oprah. He said he said at Madison Square Garden that he was laying in bed with Oprah and he leaned over to Gayle to say ''This shit is crazy.'' He said if he was with Oprah she'd have a new episode of her new favorite things and he did a joke about what those things would be. Jamie told some jokes about that and he gets a standing ovation. He said Gayle was in the audience. He said that he didn't want to be ''the Oscar dude.'' He said his team was fantastic but they had come to a crossroads.
Howard said if they don't let you do what you want then it's not going to work. Howard asked if they told him not to do a game show. Jamie said everything has changed. He said a game show 10-15 years ago it was like no way. He said they've been trying to get this done for 2 and a half years. He said he always wanted to do a show on TV. He said this lets him do some crazy stuff. He said it's almost like a talk show. Jamie said what was fun about it was that it turned into a Tonight Show type of show. He said they had people just dropping in and not playing the game show. He said the contestants are amazing. He said at one point everyone was crying.
Howard said the idea is to name a song. Jamie said it's like Name that Tune. He said they're all winning money. Howard said Gary is a master at that. He said you give him one note and he's in. Jamie said that in the final round they go up against Shazam. He said that it takes Shazam like 2.5 seconds to get a song so they have a chance.
Howard asked what he does on the show. Jamie said he has a piano there and he'll sing and have some fun. He said then the guests like Snoop walk out. He said then the people have to guess his play list. He said Snoop listens to all kinds of music so it's not that hard. Howard said it sounds like he's having fun with it. Jamie said they do. He said that it's great money for these people. He said that it can be life changing. He said that FOX put up some good money. He said someone does walk away with a million. He said the least amount that they gave away was $80,000. He said the girl that won the million was like a savant. He said her boyfriend she was with for 3 years. He said she just wanted a wedding ring from him. He said that he told that guy he might want to propose before she wins.
Howard asked if Jamie was popular in high school. Jamie said he played football. He said he was adopted at 7 months and the woman who adopted him wasn't his real grandmother. He said this was some lady who adopted his mom and him. Howard said his mom was his sister then. Jamie said basically. He said he knew her as his mom and she lived in another town. He said that this woman adopted her mom when she was 16 and then she adopted him when his mother had him. He said he's go to his mom's apartment and he'd look in the photo album and see his mom with different Dallas Cowboys. He said his mom was hot.
Howard asked if it was tough growing up like that. Jamie said his grandmother and grandfather were so cool. He said that she basically said she'd get him whatever he needed. He said she had her own business running a nursery school.
Howard said Jamie was on the football team and a tennis team. He said he must have gotten laid. Jamie said that it all went to his head. He said his best friend back then is still his best friend. Jamie said his teeth didn't look like this back then. He said he was always a clown. He said there are comedians who start looking good and start hiding behind the gates and shades. Howard said he remembers when he was on In Living Color and he was scrawny and skinny. He said he must be working out. Jamie said Joe Piscopo was doing it and it wasn't in. Howard said he was on Muscle and Fitness magazine. Jamie said it's in now to look like that. Howard said Chappelle is all bulked up now too. Howard said Carrot Top is like Lou Ferrigno now. Jamie said shit just changes.
Howard asked if he's hitting the gym a lot now. Jamie said he does like 80 pull ups. He said he's doing a jail house kind of work out. He doesn't work on the legs. He said he just does the top part. He said he can beat you up but not chase you.
Howard said he works out but look at him. He looks like a scarecrow. Howard said he just wants to fit in his clothes. Jamie said some of his homies are about to be 50. He said he went to visit one and he didn't recognize him. He said he was saying he was Marvin but he didn't recognize him. Jamie did an impression of Marvin and said he didn't know who the fuck he was. He said when he told hi who he was he realized the guy was like 8 years younger than him. He said Marvin was big. He said they went to eat and it was crazy. He said they were working out and eating Kale or whatever. Jamie said he had sausage, eggs, orange juice and Sprite. He said then he had a pill he crushed on his food and it was his blood pressure pill.
Howard said it's crazy. He said that when Jamie got out of high school he went to a music college. Jamie said his grandmother had a woman teach him and they did it at the house. He said they gave her the house to teach in. He said that this woman taught him how to play classical piano. He said she wanted him to be able to go on the other side of the tracks. He said she wanted him to be able to go around the world.
Jamie said he got a scholarship and didn't even try once he got into school. He said that he went from being around blacks, whites and Mexicans to being around people from all over the world. He said it was tough. He said his town took a long time to come around. He said he loves his town but there was a racial component.
Jamie said he remembers hanging around all the kids when he was young but then they split around high school. Howard said in his town everyone stopped hanging around him. He said white and black kids stopped.
Jamie said his town was slow coming around. He said in 2008 Obama became President. He said he went to his home town and they were all rushing to get the paper. He said that Obama wasn't on the front page. He said he thinks it was quilt making. He said that they never had black people on the cover of the paper. He said even when he won the Oscar. He said that his Jewish agent called and got them to get him on the paper. He said they went to the town and he wasn't sure that it would work out if he showed up at the Waffle House together. He said he told his homies they were going to get there and here were going to be cowboys there. He said they were real cowboys. He said there were some things that happened to him to give him pause in the past. He said they walked in and it was like a real western. He said that one of them looked up and asked if he was Jamie Foxx. He said they were going to be at his Terrell Day the next day. He said that they liked that he said he was from that town. He said they were younger guys too so they paid for his food that night. He said the next day they all came to the Terrell day. He said the governor came to the town that day too. He said it was Rick Perry and he was great. He said he was charismatic and he was great. Jamie said after they did Terrell day he said they wanted to see more of that. Howard said that's a great story.
Howard said he loves the song he did with Kanye West. He said he's not usually a rap guy so he's not into Kanye usually. Jamie said he doesn't do what you think he's going to do. He said he does some great work. Jamie said he met Kanye because he was known for throwing parties. Howard said Ed Sheeran told him about staying at his house for a while. Jamie said his couch is famous. He said that he has security at his house so it's fine. He said he's not a manager. He said that's a different muscle. He said he's an artist.
Howard said Ed Sheeran was just starting out and sometimes people get on the bandwagon late. Robin asked how he met Ed. Jamie said he sings and people don't know he can do that. He said that women say they can't take him seriously. He said he threw parties and he threw one for Puff. He said at the time he was huge. He said he couldn't get into his parties so he'd show up with a camera trying to get in to document the party. Jamie said he was doing okay himself but he wasn't like Puffy. Jamie said one day they were in Philly and they had this incredible party. He said Puffy spent a million bucks on this party. He said he told him he'd throw him one that wouldn't rival that on scale but he'd be impressed. He said Puff got mad at him like he was insulting him. He said that Puff gets to L.A. and he told him to make that shit happen. He said he invited like 200 of the most beautiful people. He said they were the most in touch people. He said they are the cool crowd. He said he didn't invite any knuckle heads. Jamie said Puff shows up and he sees all of these people there. He said that he spent $400 on the party. He said he had a ball. He said Missy Elliot showed up. He said they all had a room.
Jamie said that there was a guy there with a green jacket on and it was Jay Z but no one knew who he was at the tie. He said Pharrell was there too. He said that he had all of these great people there. Jamie said they were all there for Puff. He said he had another party and this kid with a backpack walks in. He said he was all messed up with a big jaw. It was Kanye. He said that he makes people perform at his house. He said he asked Kanye to perform. He said he freestyled and he said he was the baddest mother fucker in the world. He said it was like a person from outer space. He said it was amazing. He said Kanye had a song for him and they were working it out. He thought the kid didn't know what he was doing but he did. He said he went to do a bad movie called Stealth. He said he came back and his boys tell him that the song is number 1 in the country. He said then Kanye needed a favor so he got him a chance to perform for Clive Davis at a party. Jamie told Howard about how he told Kanye that he's seen people fail at these parties. He said he did a little prelude to their song and then Kanye comes out and they do their thing and they got a record deal that night.
Jamie said that Ed Sheeran sought him out after hearing those stories and he came to his house. He said he saw him perform and he thought he was good. He said that he worked in his studio and his daughter asked who that guy was. He said that he told her that he was going to be something. He said he was doing a live night in L.A. one night and they had all black performers. He said each one was darker than the next. He said they had a bunch of black performers. He said that then he introduces Ed Sheeran. He said he was even whiter then. He said after 10 minutes he got a standing ovation. Howard said he lived at his house. He said it takes a certain type of person to do that. Howard said he doesn't want people living in his house. Jamie said he feels it.
Jamie said that he has had situations. He said that he has had people come to his house to be safe. He said they have a party and Chris Brown is letting people hear his music there. He said he didn't want people to know it was his new album. He said he got a chance to test his new music. Jamie said that he asked if anyone had anything to perform or sing. He said one guy said he did a song and Chris might like it. He said he did a song and Chris heard it and went and did the song.
Howard asked Jamie about Ed staying at the house and if he had a key. Jamie said he had a key and the code and all of that. He said he can eat whatever he has in the kitchen too. He said he has a studio in the house and they did slow jams and Blame it on the Alcohol and Gold Digger. Howard asked if he can sing that song because it has the N-word in it. Jamie said he has to try it around the right black people. Howard played some of the song.
Jamie told Howard about how he got into that song. He said his friend helped out with the album. He said he was told not to be jokey about it. He said he was woken up at 3 in the morning and told to get down to the studio. He said he got up and they went down to the studio. He said he was told to just follow him. He said they were doing the song and they told them that this shit was whack. He said Brion told them that they had to put him on the record. He said he went in the booth and told him to just come up with some shit. He said that's when he came up with that ''She takes my money...'' and all of that. He said the rest is history. Howard asked if having a hit song like that or the Oscar is better. Jamie said the Oscar was great because of the movie. He said Will Smith did him a solid by putting him in Ali. He said that he got into other movies because of that.
Howard said he heard a rumor about the movie Any Given Sunday and how P. Diddy was supposed to be in it but he couldn't throw a football. Jamie said he was so huge back then that it might have been scheduling conflicts. He said Oliver Stone didn't like him when he first met him. He said that he told him he was no good. He said Oliver wrote ''Jamie Foxx slave to television.'' He said he just got pissed when he read that. He said that he went back and read for another part as an agent. He said he got back in there and he was going to get this shit off his chest. Howard said sometimes you might need a few times to get an audition right. Jamie said that Oliver told him he was a slave to TV is because he was loud. He said he told him he had to bring it down. Jamie said Oliver told him about the problems they had with the person who was supposed to play the quarterback so he was going to try him. He said that he had to figure it out. Jamie said what he did was just freestyle with his boys shooting his own video and they turned it into Oliver and he gave it to the movie studio. He said they had all of these huge stars in the movie. Howard asked if he was intimidated working with all of those people. Jamie said that he wasn't intimidated by those people but he was intimidated because it was football.
Jamie told Howard that he gave Al Pacino some advice on playing the coach. He said he told him to treat those kids like they were his kids because some of them didn't have fathers. He said he went out to dinner with Mr. Pacino and he asked if he liked cranberry juice. He said that he wanted to have Hennessey not cranberry.
Howard asked if he keeps in touch with everyone. Jamie said he does with some. Howard asked if he got into a fist fight with LL Cool J. Jamie said they did. He said they have mended fence since then. He said that he was in a scene with LL and he thinks Oliver was pushing it. He said he was a huge fan of LL's and Oliver thought that was going to hurt the film. He said that he was in the House of Blues and caught LL's jacket. He said that's how big a fan he was. He said he gave it up to the woman who started crying over it.
Howard asked how far the fight went. Jamie said it got kind of crazy. He said they were clocking each other. He said he didn't pass out but he had a hell of a night. He said LL is a big mother fucker and he's his hero. He said they have it on video somewhere. He said that he told him he's still his hero. He said on that set everyone was fighting.
Howard said he loves his stand up and him on In Living Color. Howard said he just kept it going. Howard asked if he glued his eyes shut on Ray. Jamie said he did. He said he was cheating and it sort of showed. He said that he's used to directors that are tyrants. He said that he's very submissive. Jamie said that he just helps them if they want to glue his eyes shut. He said his makeup artist, Lylet, put this silicone over. He said he'd be blind for 12 hours. He said that you get claustrophobic. He said he met Ray Charles and he was walking down the hallway and he told him he wanted to do this thing and Ray just told him if he can play the blues he can do anything. He said they sat down and played piano. Howard said it's good he learned. Howard said his teacher committed suicide. He said he's not kidding about that.
Howard asked if Ray was critical of him. Jamie said not at all. He said that they were playing and he was trying to play right but he hit the wrong note. He said Ray asked what the hell he was doing. He said that Ray told him the notes were right under him and just hit the right note. He said they played it right and he got to do the movie.
Howard said they didn't let him sing in the movie. Jamie said he didn't because they wanted the spirit of Ray in that movie. He said the director wanted you to feel that record.
Howard said it must have been great winning the Oscar. Howard asked who he was up against. Jamie said he was up against Leonardo for The Aviator. Jamie said he got a call from Oprah who told him that he was blowing it with all of the gallivanting he was doing. He said she brought him to Quincy Jones' house. He said he had helped him with the Ray Charles thing. Jamie said he got a cassette tape of a young Ray Charles and he heard him stutter in that. He said he went to Quincy Jones' house after that Oprah call and there were a bunch of stars there who were doing an intervention kind of thing. He said he was going way hard. He said that's when he was doing ecstasy. He said he went to the Golden Globes and they got active before the show. He said they got out and walked the red carpet saying ''Three'' over and over. He said his publicist showed him all of this and then he goes to the Quincy Jones thing. He said Sidney Poitier was there and he gave him some advice. He did an impression of Sidney Poitier. He said that it was his birthday and they made him realize what he was doing and how he had to calm down. He said that they had to embrace this Ray Charles thing. Howard said that's a pretty loving thing for Oprah and Quincy to do for him. He said the fact that they cared was great. Jamie said he did everything he needed to do. He said he brought his daughter to the Oscars and he realized what it was. He said he was so in his own element that he didn't give a shit about the Oscars. He said they didn't know the significance of this. He said they hadn't even seen the Halle Berry movie yet.
Howard said that he was a black man playing the role of Ray Charles and he could possibly win the Oscar. Jamie said he remembers the other part of it. He said the tension was amazing. He said he was getting a lot of phone numbers. He said this one woman walked up to him saying that they should just get out of there. He said she was spoken for though. Robin said so was he. Jamie said his agent pulled him to the side and asked what he was doing. He said that they told him he was being watched so he had to be careful. Jamie said he told him not to cut off his fun. He said he went to the girl and told her that his agent told him he can't go. He said the next year it was the Oscar dip. He said he had already had his time. He said it was about the other guys and girls. He said it was an interesting thing.
Howard said he had a similar experience. He said his agent told him not to do it and he did it anyway and it was a big mistake. He didn't want to get into the details of that story though.
Howard asked Jamie if he called and thanked Oprah for what he did when he won. Jamie said he did. He said that was his chance to grow up. He said it was great. He said the night of the Oscar's he wanted to talk to Charlize Theron but some guy told him he can't do that unless he has one of those golden statues. He said that night she was the one who presented him with the Oscar.
Howard said when you win the Oscar it can help. Jamie said it gets tough because everyone is trying to go back. Jamie said that he ended up getting white management and that was a big change for him. Howard asked if that makes him feel like he betrayed people doing that. Jamie said it was business and at the same time it was cool white folk. He said they weren't cornball. He said he was really nervous at first. He said that he had outgrown his other management team. He said that he still calls them to say what's up.
Jamie said his team now is great. He said that they tell him that Quentin Tarantino called and it was the best script they had ever read. Howard asked if he wrote that with him in mind. Jamie said no. He said at the time Will Smith was supposed to do it but he didn't want to because it was a slave. He said he saw Idris Elba was talking about it too. He said that he told him to get the fuck in there. He said he was a good looking mother fucker and he should have been in there. He said he told him that.
Howard asked if it's tough to understand where he's going with a movie like Django Unchained. Jamie said he got it. Howard asked what happens when Spike Lee comes out against it. Jamie said he had a conversation with Spike about it. He said when he knew the movie was open he went to meet with Quentin. He said he told him that he knew that was what it was like at the time. He said he quoted a speech from the movie that he had already learned. He told Howard about the speech that he recited. He said Quentin couldn't believe he knew it. Jamie said he had a horse at the time and he rode that one in the movie. He said shooting the movie was tough. He said he was a tyrant. He said that he insisted on the words to be exactly what he had written. He said he gets that. Jamie said that the only person he'd let go off script was Samuel L. Jackson.
Howard asked if he would work with Tarantino again. Jamie said a thousand times he would. He said that Quentin once pulled him aside and yelled at him about his character being a slave and how he had to play it right. Jamie was doing an impression of Tarantino yelling at him. He said that he told him to lose that shit and walked out of the room. He said that he was basically saying don't bring that Oscar shit in there or his albums and all of that shit. Jamie said he came back and he was changed. He said he was on this whole thing and even for Leo it was tough. He said he had to say ''nigger'' a lot and his best friend is Q Tip. He said Leo had a problem with it because he was saying it so much. He said that Samuel yelled at him to just say it because this was just another Tuesday for these mother fuckers.
Jamie said that this was slavery days so they were his property. He said that Leo came in the next day and he asked him what's up and he didn't say a word. He said he was at work. He said that Leo was slamming his hand on the table for a scene and a drinking glass slid over and he smashed it with his hand. He said the blood was pouring out and he was still doing his lines. He said he just lit his cigarette an kept going. He said it was an amazing performance.
Howard said that was a great movie. Jamie said he knew it was going to pay off. He said he had Kerry Washington throughout the movie and that wasn't in the script. He said he did that to build up the relationship. He said it was about Django wanting his woman. He said he told Quentin this all the time that he makes actors stars and stars legends.
Jamie told Howard about how Christoph Waltz would forget his line and ask for the next part all the time. He said that Leo knew what was up with it and knew how it would turn out. He said it was amazing when the movie premiere happened.
Jamie told Howard that his new management team hired his old team. He said they do what they can and they have a great mix of what he needs now.
Robin said it will be great one day when he needs to and he won't have all of that in the back of his head. Jamie said he always wants to pay attention to the people who got him there. He said when he did Beat Shazam and he had people there who have been with him since In Living color. He said if he tells a joke he knows that his old homies aren't going to laugh unless it's funny. Jamie said that
Jamie said that this country is great. He said that he's been around the world and there are places that just aren't that nice. He said that there are elements that they have to work on but we are headed toward a beautiful situation.
Howard asked if Jamie could go to Comic-Con now and walk around. Jamie said he remembers when it first started out. He said he used to go to school out there. He said he liked Spawn and now you go down and everyone lights up. He said that they accept you. He said that they don't play around with their folks.
Howard said Jamie has done it all. He said he's done movies, TV, music and now a game show. Howard said he's doing Beat Shazam and he may make more from that than anything. Jamie said he owns a piece of it and Mark Burnett is part of it and he's a genius. He said the game show business is real. He said he had to learn. He said it's so amazing. He said he didn't realize just how hard it was. He said he had to learn the business. He said it was almost harder than learning a movie script. He said there are a lot of rules and they shoot 3 a day. He said that Mark is so great getting the contestants and all of that. Jamie said he was working on a movie in Paris and they had to practice the game show. He said he was told he had to get it down. He said they shot 15 episodes in a week. He said it's airing this Thursday. Howard said it's on at 8pm on FOX.
Jamie said he will watch the show even thoguh he's seen it. Howard asked if he watches his own movies. Jamie said the ones that suck are hard. He said he didn't like Sleepless. He said that he tried but it was tough.
Howard asked who has better parties, him or Prince. He said that must have been a hard one to deal with. Jamie said he worshiped him. He said his grandmother didn't like Prince's music. He said that he remembers hearing his songs for the first time and how great he thought they were. He sang some of a song. He said no one else can write that. Howard asked how you come up with that stuff. Jamie said he never had that opportunity to ask him how he did that. He said he would sit around asking other people about it and they said he was just a genius. He said he met him for the first time in 1998 on December 31. He said it was about to be 1999. He said he ran up to him and asked if him if he knows how he is and started crying. He said all of his cool went out the window. H said he was telling him about the albums and fucking up the names. He said he was so cool and he knew he was shook. He said Prince just thanked him and stayed cool. He said he asked him for a picture and that was his fuck up. Howard said he did that with Paul McCartney. He said that Chris Rock was laughing at him because he was in the room.
Jamie said that Prince told him that he doesn't do pictures. He said he realized he had fucked up. He said that night Morris Day was playing. He said that Morris had prince come out and play but not sing. He said that he mowed 'em down. He said when he passed he couldn't understand. He said that he wondered how they let that happen. Jamie said he did a show where they talked about Prince and had people in who knew him.
Howard said he loves his act about Prince and how he's the only one who can pull off those outfits. Jamie said that they went to Paisley Park and he saw him in an outfit and they thought he looked pretty. He said he was looking better than Halle Berry at that point. He said they cold have dated and it wouldn't have been weird.
Jamie said that he couldn't believe it when he passed. He said it's crazy with all of thee people who are passing. Howard said he has to get his ass out of there. He said he's getting the hi sign.
Jamie thanked Howard for doing what he did for his lady. Howard said he has to take some pictures. Howard asked how he's doing with is channel there at Sirius. Jamie said Gayle King called and said that he's not Howard Stern so he has to stop saying he wants to be the black Howard Stern. He said they were trying to be on the edge but you say one thing and people don't understand comedians. He said they're trying to make people laugh. Howard said you're doing live radio and you want to make people laugh. Howard said there's no net and you can't edit it. Jamie said you want to be Stern'd and have him roast you. He said in the new world they want to go after the comedians. He said George Lopez said something about bringing home a black person and people wanted to kill him. He said there are people doing shit that really fucks the world up and they give them a pass.
Jamie said he appreciates Howard and people like Louis C.K. and Chappelle. He said that you say the wrong thing and people come after you.
Jamie said he's doing a stand up tour in the summer to all the clubs he started out in. He said that you lose the integrity of the joke and you have to get that back. He said he's not going to hold back on his shit.
Howard said he wonders what the fuck he's up to. H said he didn't find out shit today. He asked if he's having fun. Jamie said he is. He thanked Howard for having him. Howard said he loved it. Robin said Jamie has been out there a long time and he's still not into marriage at all? Jamie asked why blow it. He said he has 2 great kids.
Howard gave Jamie some plugs for Beat Shazam and spent a life more time talking about that. Jamie said he had to walk off the set at one point because it got so emotional. Howard gave him some plugs for The Foxx Hole over there at Sirius too. Robin asked Jamie if he has a movie coming out too. Jamie said it's called Baby Driver. He said it's going to be good. Howard said he's there. Jamie told Howard about the movie and then Howard wrapped up and went to break. As they went to break they played a phony phone call High Pitch Erik made to Eric the Actor where Erik pretended to be Kelly Clarkson.
Howard said it's time for news. Fred played her into it with a song parody. Howard asked Robin what she had but Fred played her wind chime sound effect. Robin said she asked her neighbor if they hear her wind chimes and they can't hear them.
Robin started off with Howard playing some audio. It was the theme for James Bond. Robin asked if Howard knows who James Bond number 3 is. Howard tried to come up with it but didn't know. Robin said Roger Moore was number 3 and he's dead. Howard said they had him on the show once. Robin said they did. She had Howard play a clip of him in one of the Bond movies. Robin said she didn't like him as Bond but she liked him as a person and in some other things. Robin said he was 89 years old. Howard said he had a good run. Howard said Roger told them he had a small penis. He said maybe he had that wrong. Robin said he had his own TV show before he was James Bond.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Jamie Foxx was great. He said he could listen to them all day. Howard said he could have done another 2 hours with him. Ralph said he was non stop and that was great. He said he's going back to listen from the beginning. He said that Roger Moore was great as Bond too. Robin didn't agree. Ralph said that Live and Let Die was great. Robin has never seen it. She refused to watch it with him in it. Howard let Ralph go after that. Howard said he likes the guy who plays Bond now. He said he always says he's stopping but then he signs on to do another movie.
Robin read a story about Monica Lewinsky writing a story about Roger Ailes. Robin said that Monica claims that all of the anchors were encouraged to hammer away at the President's stuff 24 hours a day back then. Howard said that's why he did what he did yesterday. He said if you're on FOX News you have to think about what the guy did. He said you can't just gloss over it. Howard said Geraldo would be the first guy to beat that guy up if he did that to his daughter.
Robin read a story about these guys Mike and Mike who do a show for ESPN and talk sports. Robin said she doesn't know them very well. Robin said they can't stand each other apparently. Robin said they are breaking up after 20 years. Gary said they liked each other for a long time. He said one of the guys wanted to do his own thing and didn't tell the other guy and now he's upset about that. Robin said that happened a while ago and they've been trying to work together but now they're breaking up and going their separate ways. Gary said they're going to continue through the end of the year. Howard said he didn't tell the other Mike he was leaving. Gary said that it may not even make it to the end. Howard said it would have been nice to tell the guy what he was doing. Robin said this has been going on since 2013. Robin said one is going to a TV show an one is staying on radio with another partner. Howard said he should just find another partner named Mike. Howard said this is his third Robin and no one knows that. Robin had some audio of the two talking about this on their show. They spent a few more minutes talking about that.
Robin read a story about Glenn Campbell and how he used to be in the Beach Boys. Howard said he never knew that.
Robin read a story about college graduation season and how there are luminaries giving commencement speeches. Robin had a few clips for Howard to play. She had some audio of Oprah speaking at one of these things. Howard said that story Jamie Foxx told about Oprah was something else. Robin had a couple of clips for Howard to play.
Howard said he doesn't have that kind of advice for students. He made some stuff up about Ronnie's piss boner and things like that. Howard said no one wants that at their university. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said she has more Oprah clips but she said she'd save them for another time. Howard said he can take over for her and did another few seconds of a commencement speech.
Robin read a story about the jurors being picked for the Bill Cosby trial. Robin had some details about those people who were chosen.
Robin read a story about a bar that had named a drink after Bill Cosby and they called it The Pill Cosby. Robin said they have pulled that drink from the menu.
Robin read a story about a bombing at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester England. Robin said a suicide bomber attacked and 22 people were killed and 59 were injured. Robin had some audio of Teresa May talking about the incident. The bomber detonated the bomb near the exit of the event to cause the most harm he could. Howard said even terrorists are saying this is terrible. Howard said it's like the sketch they did on Saturday Night Live where they had an evil villain who created a child molesting robot and the other evil villains thought he had gone too far. Robin read more details of the bombing and how they're heightening security around New York City. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Donald Trump is going to be referring to terrorists as ''Losers.'' Robin read about what he said about the bombing in England. Howard said that's insulting to losers. Howard said JD is completely annoyed by that.
Robin read about how President Trump is still in the Middle East. Robin had some clips of Trump talking about how they can reach peace in that region. Howard said lets get it done. Robin said it takes working together according to what Trump said. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about President Trump walking down the red carpet with his wife Melania and Trump reached back to take Melania's hand and she batted it away. Howard said he watched that like 900 times. He said he wants the FBI to investigate that. Howard said maybe there wasn't enough room to walk together 4 abreast. Robin said they were seen walking hand in hand later on. Howard said he watched that clip a bunch of times. Robin said many people are making jokes about how she's still living in New York and Trump is flying all over the place. Robin said Rachel Maddow has said that Trump's first trip is to the middle east and that's not what the President's usually do. They usually go to our close allies. Robin had some audio of Maddow talking about that.
Robin read a story about a ransomeware attack that happened over the weekend. Robin said we didn't have much of an impact here but around the world computers were affected. Robin said they are investigating and saying it seems to have the same trademarks of attacks launched by North Korea but they're denying they had anything to do with it.
Robin said scientists are saying that the cigarettes that have the filter holes are more dangerous than regular cigarettes. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. They say that the tobacco burns more slowly. They think the FDA can tell them to take the holes out. Howard asked who is even smoking anymore. He said just stop.
Robin read a story about a doctor who is accused of sexual assault with his patients. Robin had some audio of his former boss talking about the guy. Robin said the doctor's wife found the videos of him drugging and raping his patients.
Robin read a story about how Elvis' personal jet is up for auction. Robin said the starting bid is just $10,000. Robin said it can't fly because it doesn't have any engines. Robin said they estimate it's worth about $2-3 million. Robin said it's been parked in Roswell, New Mexico for about 30 years. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show playing a fake Joan Rivers telling them who is on the show today. Rachel Maddow is coming in. Howard said it's good to hear Joan's voice.
Howard said he spent a lot of time thinking about Robin yesterday. He said she told a story yesterday. He said he's stuck on the fact that she has 6 wind chimes at her house. Howard said she said that her neighbors couldn't hear her wind chimes. Robin said she recorded them with her phone. Robin said she recorded them right near the chimes. She said you could year how loud they were. Robin said she went to her fence and recorded to see if they could be heard there. Howard said this drove him crazy. He said she has her ears. He said she could listen to hear. Robin said she did it for Howard. She didn't do that for herself. Howard said he found it hard to believe she was walking around recording them. Howard said she's gone off the deep end. Robin said she recorded it for Howard so he'd have proof. Howard said he's the wind chime police. Robin said that's right.
Howard asked Robin how she has time to do that. Robin said it was on the weekend and it didn't take long. She said it bothered her that he would think she'd be so oblivious to other people. Howard said he wishes he had video of that.
Howard said Eli Braden wrote a song about her wind chimes. Howard played some of that. It was about sticking them in her ass.
Howard said he thought that she'd have Captain Dennis recording that stuff for her. Howard said they actually made a phony phone call about wind chimes. Howard played the call and Richard had wind chimes playing behind him as he was talking about how he uses them to calm himself down. The hosts of the radio show he called were saying they sounded pretty. Then they got louder and louder. The hosts kept saying they were pretty but then Richard couldn't hear them. They eventually hung up on Richard and said they can check in with him to see if he's moved away. The wind chimes were even louder when they checked in. Richard called in one more time but they hung up immediately.
Howard asked how much weed those women smoked before doing that show where they thought it sounded good. Howard said Robin's wind chimes are even louder than that. He said Robin actually did a walk around her property to make sure her wind chimes aren't annoying. Howard said Captain Dennis should go out and do that because he's not biased. Robin said he can hear the tape if he wants. She said it's not a subjective thing. Howard said Robin works too hard. He said in addition to all she does she did that too. Howard said everything bothers him. He said he hates wind chimes. He said he doesn't like that. He said he doesn't like that people don't consider that other people might not want to hear that. Robin said she would take them down if they annoyed people. Howard said when you're sitting outside and hear that it's not good. He said wind is a beautiful noise. Robin said wind is distracting.
Robin said you can still hear the wind and the birds. Howard said they're adding more noise pollution. Robin said it's her's and leave her alone. Howard said he's going to continue to talk about it.
Howard said a couple of the guys in the office are going to a Met game tonight. He said that they're trying to bond. Howard said that's great. He said Jason sent out an email asking if anyone wanted to go and how he'd pay. Howard said they got their tickets and everyone paid him back right away other than one person. It was Scott the Engineer. Howard asked what he's waiting for. He said it's a thing with him. Robin said don't go and stop bothering people.
Howard said Jason said he's not going to chase the guy for the $60. He said it's ridiculous. Howard said that's Scott's thing. Howard asked where he is. Gary said he'll be there in a second.
Howard said Scott must be collecting interest in his 60 bucks. Robin said it's like a kid trying to get attention. Howard said if there's a rain delay he probably won't pay because here wasn't a game. Howard said Scott is wearing his Mets cap now. Scott came in and said he'll pay Jason today. Howard said everyone paid weeks ago. Scott said it's not the first thing on his mind. He said Jason will get paid. Howard said he knows it's not the first thing on his mind but he could pay the guy.
Howard said this happens with the betting pool they do. He said it's that thing they do. He was talking about Fantasy Football. Gary said that they have a rule about not paying by a certain date. Scott said whatever it is. Howard said he sounds beaten. Scott said he's like that every day. Howard said he could pay him but not wait for the actual day.
Scott said it's not at the top of his list but he will pay him. He said he will get the money. Howard asked if Scott would ever be that guy to set up the game day and pay. Scott said no. Scott said he told Jason he'd pay him. Robin said he knew he owed him. Howard said Scott makes it a big event.
Howard said Jason said he could be paid in many ways. Cash, check, PayPal and Venmo are the ways he said he could be paid. Howard said Jason isn't Rockefeller. He said he had to lay out the money. He said everyone paid other than Scott. Scott said that's the way it goes. He said don't invite him then. He doesn't give a fuck. Jason said this is no fun.
Howard asked if Jason got paid today. Jason said he didn't. He said he could have come to his desk first thing this morning and paid him. Howard said it seems like Scott thinks he's going to collect interest on it until the last second. Scott said hold on to your money until the very end.
Howard asked how much it is. Jason said it's $76. He said he set it up 3 weeks ago. today is game day. Jason said 80 percent paid him in the first week. He said he was looking at the spreadsheet and he knew Scott would be the last mother fucker to pay. He said by Monday there were 4 people. He said everyone else has paid other than Scott.
Howard said there has to be something psychological going on. Scott said he pays his bills when they're due. Howard said this isn't a bill. He said it's a coworker. Howard said Jason has bills to pay too. Jason said Scott is going to make him feel bad for taking the money.
Scott was going to give Jason $100 and not even go. He said he has personal things going on so this isn't at the top of his list. Howard said maybe he's a secret financial genius and his money is tied up in something. He said maybe he's getting payments from the Russians. Howard said just pay the fucking guy. Howard said he swears that his whole life he couldn't stand to owe people money. Scott said he can't stand it either. Howard said it bothers him so he pays off immediately.
Jason asked if Scott got paid money this week. Scott said he did get money yesterday. Howard asked if he had no money up until now. Scott said he's not getting into it. Howard said he's like Trump with his taxes. Howard said they get paid on Friday. Scott said he's not going to get into it. Howard said he's trying to make it sound like something happened but this has been his M.O. his whole life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Jason is a rat and Scott said he'd pay today. Scott said he just showed him the money. The caller said he could have paid and this wouldn't matter. Howard said it's interesting that Scott is always the guy who pays last. Jason said there are 20 other people who paid without him asking about it. Scott said he didn't bring this up. He said Jason was the one who brought it up. Jason said he's right, he's wrong for bringing it up. Scott said he told him to pay him by game day. Scott said he will give him the money and he would have done it right away if he asked for it. Howard said he's either super boring or super angry. He said Scott is getting so angry over this. He said he blows up and says ''Fuck you!''
Scott said he tries to stay calm and relaxed. Scott said Jason is a pain in his ass. Howard said Jason said the $76 included free beer and food. Jason said it's a special section where you get that stuff free. Howard said Scott is going to make up for it in beer. Scott said he's just having one beer.
Howard said Scott came into some money and he's paying Jason. Scott said he hasn't paid yet. Howard took a call from a woman who said that Scott is her gigolo and she pays him to do stuff. She said that's where he got the money.
Howard told Gary to tell the story about Scott at the meetings. Gary said people come to the meeting and Scott doesn't mute his phone. He said it's the old fashioned ring and he just hits the button and doesn't answer it. He said he doesn't put it on vibrate. He said he asked him why he doesn't do that and he just stared at him. Howard said that's the way he's looking at him now.
Scott said he does put it on vibrate now. Jason said he doesn't. Gary said they like having Scott there because he always does something inappropriate at the meetings. Jason said he pulls out Bailey the Bedbug about once a month too. Howard said when you're at a writing meeting you can't evaluate everyone's ideas. Scott said it was a joke. He said they know when he's joking.
Howard said he heard Gary isn't sitting with the other guys today. He has his own seat. Scott said he's the elite. He said Gary thinks he's better than everyone. Scott said he walked into the bullpen the other day and Gary said ''Oh, you still work here?'' Gary said he was just busting balls like they've been doing there for 30 years.
Howard asked who is going to sit with Scott today. Jason laughed and said no one. Howard said Ronnie likes Scott. He said he's not sure why. Jason said that Ronnie and Scott are the same age and they've gone two different directions in life. He said Ronnie is loving life and Scott is miserable. He said Ronnie paid him immediately. Scott said he has a cash flow problem right now. Howard said he's had that problem for 30 years. Scott said it's bad right now. Howard asked who he doesn't want to sit next to. Scott said he likes everyone.
Howard asked Gary why he's not sitting with the guys. Gary said he has a friend who will be there and he's sitting with them. He said he gave his ticket that Jason got to someone who couldn't afford it. Howard asked if that's acceptable. Scott said it's fine.
Howard asked if Jason has been paid yet. Jason laughed and said no. Scott asked why Gary didn't give him the ticket. Gary said he didn't know he was having cash flow problems. Gary gave it to a kid there who couldn't afford it. Scott said he was just kidding.
Jason said that Scott is so cheap. Howard said Scott was pissed that Gary didn't invite him to the World Series. Scott said he was pissed because he asked if he knew anyone who could get him tickets and Gary said he did but he can't use them. Gary said Scott also insinuated that he didn't pay for them but he did. Jason said he knows someone who didn't pay for tickets. Howard asked who. Jason said ''Scott.''
Howard said he has to hear Angry Scott again. He said he's like the Hulk. Scott said he doesn't like angry Scott. Howard played a clip of Scott yelling at Mike Gange back at K-Rock. He was screaming at him to get out of his face and that he was pissed about him using tape he told him he wouldn't use.
Howard said Scott is boring Scott 95 percent of the time and then that 5 percent he blows up. Howard played another clip of Scott yelling at him that he had ''better pay off'' when he did the push up challenge. Scott said that person doesn't exist anymore. Howard said he just saw him like 2 minutes ago. Scott said it wasn't at that level. Howard did his Scott impression and had him acting like the Hulk.
Howard said he wondered if Jason would have gotten his money today. Jason said the rain out thing scares him. If the game gets rained out he thinks he may not get paid. Scott said he was going to pay him this morning if he had seen him. Jason said he could have come to see him first thing. Jason said it's expected so it's almost like it's his thing. Howard said he'd never do that because he doesn't want to chase people around to get money.
Howard said that Jason will get his money according to Scott. Jason said that maybe he won't pay until he's at the game. Maybe in the 7th inning. Scott said if the Mets lose he's fucked. Howard asked who's going. Jason told Howard some of the guys who will be there. He said Richard and Sal won't be going. He said that he and Gary tried to get Jon Hein to go but he's not going. Robin said he's probably not going because he's not a Mets guy. Jason said he doesn't know what his deal is. Howard said this stuff isn't on Scott's mind but he did wear the Mets cap today.
Howard said it's funny that Jon Hein isn't going. Howard said Jon makes Scott look like Louis C.K. Jason said Jon has been walking around with a black cloud over his head. He said he's not sure what's going on with Jon. Howard said maybe it's Jason. He said maybe that's why he won't go to the Mets game. Jason said he's not sure about that. Howard said maybe he has a big head from having his own TV show. Scott said he talks to Jon and he's fine.
Howard did his impression of Scott and talked about how he had things to do like vacuum out his bowling bag and things like that. Howard said he was going to pay for his ticket yesterday but he introduced drying paint to growing grass.
Howard said Ronnie is living it up lately. He asked if that drives Scott crazy. Scott said sometimes. Howard said if you saw his life you'd know why he's jealous. Howard was still doing his Scott impression talking about how his life is bowling and cigarettes.
Jason said that there's a theory that Scott is the one guy who is depressed on a Friday. Howard said things will change and get better. Howard said there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Scott said he's praying for the end of that tunnel. Howard said he sees Scott living to like 95 or 100. He said he thought it would end in his 60s but he's going to go on and on.
Howard asked Scott what he's going to do about the game. Scott said he's going to stay there and leave round 4:30 or 5. He said he might offer a ride to a few people. Fred did his Scott voice and asked if anyone wanted to go in the Smokemobile. Robin said she drove his car and the bowling ball was rolling around in the trunk. She said she thought it was a head or body rolling around.
Howard and the guys were all doing their Scott impressions goofing on him. They were all cracking up. Howard asked Scott if he would pay for the tolls. Scott said he'll pay for tolls and parking and gas. Jason said he's going to drive his own car over there. Howard asked if he asked anyone to go with him. Scott said he did but they wanted to take the subway. They'd rather risk getting stabbed than go with Scott. Howard said he thinks they'd rather sit next to a homeless guy who shit himself over Scott.
Howard wondered if anyone will ride with him. He said he'd rather take a ride with Princess Di's driver who crashed. Fred played a car crashing sound.
Howard asked if Scott vapes in the car. Jason said he's never been in there. He said Scott has a vape thing that looks like an old water gun. Scott said he ordered it online. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Scott answering that question about where it got it. Robin asked if Scott cam move his lips when he talks. Scott said he's never done that. He said he doesn't want to get the words out because he has nothing to say.
Howard asked to see the vape thing. Scott showed it and Howard said it looks like Mr. Freeze's gun. Howard asked if he thinks that's good for him. Scott said he doesn't think it's good for him. Howard asked if he has any of those vape flavors. Scott said he has banana. He likes coffee too. Howard said those are his favorite things.
Howard took a call from the president of the vape company. He said that Scott still hasn't paid for his vape. Scott said he thought he did.
Howard had the president of the Mets on the phone. He asked Scott to please say home tonight. It was the guys in the back calling in and joking around of course.
Howard asked if Scott will complain about the hamburger tonight. Jason said he complains about everything. Gary said Scott was complaining about a $100 gift card they got. Jason said Robin got them gift cards and it costs like 3 bucks to activate it so Scott was complaining about it being less than $100. Robin said she's sorry she gave him a gift. Scott said that was like 10 years ago. Howard said he'd never complain about that today. Scott said he wouldn't complain about that now.
Howard said Scott will complain about the beer too. Jason said he'll complain it's domestic beer or that the line is too long. Howard said he'll complain that his free burger is too cold. Jason said he's already complaining about the Mets not doing that well this year. Howard asked if he'll complain about the game if they're losing. Scott said yes.
Jason said Scott really is bad luck. He said they went to the new stadium when it was brand new and a sewer pipe broke when they were there. He said it was a brand new stadium.
Howard asked about a story where Scott got upset about not being invited to a meeting. Gary said it was a writer's meeting and Scott went up to Will asking why he wasn't invited. Will said he could go if he wanted but Scott didn't even want to go. Scott said he was just busting balls about that too.
Howard took a call from Death who asked him to please get Scott out of the studio. He said he's boring. Death also said he'll be seeing Jason soon.
Howard said Jason told him that he wasn't going to chase Scott for the money. Scott said he doesn't have to chase him. Death said if Scott had a burger Jason would chase him.
Howard said the day that death comes he hopes there's 70 hot virgins for Scott. He said he's praying for him. He said he's never seen a sadder human being. Jason said Scott would be complaining about that too. He'd ask why Gary got 72 virgins.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she can't take it anymore and jumped out a window. Jason said to wrap this up he was hoping that he'd just pay because he's not a bank. He said he didn't know Scott's financial situation when he bought him that ticket. Howard said Scott should have to pay in advance. Howard said just because Jason is the shape of a piggy bank doesn't mean he is one.
Howard took a call from 72 virgins who were waiting for Scott. Howard said Scott is on his way. Jason said they're all jumping off a building. They were all screaming. Howard said he has to take a break. He and Fred did their Scott impressions for a little longer.
Jason told Howard that Scott used to tell him what a shit business radio is. He said he was 22 and Scott was telling him how awful it was. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Scott telling Jason how awful it is.
Shuli came in and said one of the things they remember was that Scott was making crazy good money on the Block Party and then he demanded that he make more and he wanted to see the figures. Scott said he didn't demand more. He asked to be paid equally. Howard said he was a shining star for a whole week. Shuli said that he called Scott's phone one night at a show while he was playing music through it. He said the ring went through the whole place.
Jason said that Scott had it made with that gig. He said he was doing nothing. He said the money he was making was something he couldn't believe. Jason said he could have done one gig with Shuli and paid for that game ticket no problem. Shuli said Scott said that it was the principle of the thing.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that maybe they could treat somebody there and why is everyone so petty. Howard said these guys don't have money to pay for that. Mariann said that she'll pay for it. Howard said there you go. Jason said that's a whole different story. Jason said if Scott said he couldn't afford it then it would be a whole other story. Howard said he already hung up on her.
Howard played a clip of Scott doing material at a Ronnie's Block Party gig. Scott wasn't getting any laughs. He was getting booed. He just yelled out ''Go Cavaliers!'' since they were at a Cleveland gig. Jason said he did that material and then he's demanding more money. Howard did his Scott impression telling jokes and not getting any laughs. Fred was playing the ''Hands Up'' music while Howard did his impression of Scott telling unfunny jokes at the block party.
Shuli told a story about Scott blowing up when he told Scott that the bus engine blew up. Scott said he was the only one who didn't know it was a prank. Howard kept telling more jokes that Scott would tell. Fred was playing phone ring sounds behind Howard like he was on stage getting phone calls.
Howard thanked the guys and let them go. Howard said he hopes Jason gets his money. He went to break after that.
Howard asked Robin if it was that bad being stuck in a car with Scott on 9/11. Robin said it was like her own personal 9/11 being stuck in that car.
Howard said they are paying tribute to Chris Cornell on Friday on Howard 101. He said that starts at 5pm on 101. He said that they will play all of Chris' appearances the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he really enjoyed the Jamie Foxx interview. Howard said he had a lot of interesting stories. He loved talking to him. Howard said it was a real treat talking to him. The caller said he didn't know much about him before. He said Howard is a great interviewer. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard said he was shocked to find out that Ronnie has been listening to the new Beatles channel there at Sirius. Howard said he thought the was a Cher guy and didn't know he liked that stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw Cher a few years ago and he asked if Ronnie likes the way she looks today. Howard said he saw her on the Billboard awards. He said she's 71 and she's parading around naked on stage and it's really disturbing even thoguh she looks great. Howard said she's 71 in a lingerie outfit with rips in it. He said it's like the same thing she wore 50 years ago. Howard said she looks good but there's something odd. Howard said there isn't a wrinkle on her face. He said it's got to be plastic surgery and he's not sure how they did that. Howard said she doesn't even have turkey neck. Howard said she must bathe in infant blood. Howard said he didn't know what to think. He said she looks like a mummy of what she was doing 30 years ago. He said it's pretty amazing.
The caller asked if Ronnie would fuck her. Gary said he's not up there. He said he told the guys in the office he would. Howard said of course he would.
The caller said he and his wife were talking about when they might stop fucking. Howard said he knows his parents don't fuck. Robin asked how he knows that. Howard said his mom made it clear many years ago that she'd be celibate but his father has needs. Howard said that made him sick. He said Ronnie would fuck Chaz.
Gary said Ronnie told the guys in the back that he'd rather fuck Cher over Rihanna. Howard said they have to get him in there to talk about that. Howard said Ronnie is like a maniac when it comes to sex.
Howard said yesterday they were talking about Ronnie's piss boner. He said they got a lot of feedback about that. He said that some people thought the best part was Jamie Foxx and some thought Ronnie's piss boner and some thought Wolfie with Big Foot.
Howard said he got a bunch of songs too. He said it inspired a bunch of stuff. Howard played a song parody where they had Ronnie singing about his piss hard on. They had a bit where Ronnie was Freddy Krueger with a piss hard on. Howard played another song parody about Ronnie that he played.
Howard had a tape of Ronnie saying that he'd rather fuck Cher over Rihanna. Ronnie said she's been around the block and she probably knows how to do it. He said he thinks they'd have some good sex. He said he likes an older woman.
Howard played another song parody about Ronnie being super horny. Howard went to break after that. They played a Bill O'Reilly ''We'll do it live'' clip as they went to break.
Howard said Billy went and did an interview with Robin Roberts. Howard said it isn't working for some reason. He said he doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't want to forgive the guy.
Howard played a clip of Robin Roberts talking to Billy about Trump being president now. Billy was putting on a voice that sounded like Scott the Engineer. Howard said he sounds like a beaten man. Howard said he is so self effacing in this. He keeps talking about what a shitty person he is. Howard played more of the interview and Billy said Trump never reached out to him and he never reached out to Trump after all of that.
Howard played a clip where Billy talked about how he heard the clip just days before everyone else heard it. He said he recoiled when he heard it. He said he was a pleaser and he just wanted celebrities to like him to keep going in that job. Howard said he's acting like he just wants a job and he's doing anything to get it. Howard said what he should have done was said he should have maced Trump when he opened his mouth. Howard said he says he's a changed person now. He went on a retreat to some spa.
Howard played another clip of Billy talking about why he thinks he should be back on TV. Billy said he is only ready to get back to work now because there is clarity and purpose. Robin asked what purpose. Howard said he would just say he had the best job ever and he didn't have to do much. Robin said there's no reason to go on TV and do this interview other than trying to get his job back.
Howard said they tired to bring back Pat O'Brien but that didn't work. He said that you wonder why that guy is on TV.
Howard said Billy is fighting for a job where he's a vapid celebrity interviewer. Howard said he's saying he would have called the FBI if he thought he was up to something. Howard played that clip where he said he wouldn't have called the FBI.
Howard said if you're ever lucky enough to get a job like that where you get millions of dollars to not be controversial, do not fuck up. He said you only get one shot. Howard said Woody Allen and Mel Gibson fucked up but they get to make more movies because they had talent. Howard said Billy Bush didn't contribute anything. He said he knows where Kim Kardashian's favorite vacation spot is. He said it's a great job but if you do anything controversial you don't get to keep that job. Robin said you never know what Ryan Seacrest is up to. Howard said he fucks a girl he probably sends her a gift basket just to make sure things are good. Howard said he knows what he's doing. Howard said then he gets to talk about Margot Robbie at a movie premiere. He said that's the job of the century.
Howard said his job he goes home and has an ulcer. He said he's offended someone every day. He said with that job Billy Bush has you can't offend anyone.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he's mad that Trump doesn't do the show anymore. Howard said he's not mad about that. The caller said Howard doesn't let anyone who disagrees with him come on the show anymore. Howard said that's just not true. Howard said he lets anyone come on the show who is interesting. The caller said he doesn't let Gilbert Gottfried on the show anymore. Howard said he may show up some day. He said Rob Zombie isn't on every day. He said he'd have him on. Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. He let the caller go. Howard said that's a guy he won't let back on.
Howard said he has Rachel Maddow coming in and now people say all he has on are liberals. He said he's having one woman on who is a liberal. Robin said they've had Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly on the show. Howard said he can't even remember. Howard said he had Scott the Engineer on for an hour. Howard said he had Glenn Beck on and had Alex Jones on the show. Howard said the audience is so fucked up. He said the people he hears from are really dumb. Howard mentioned a bunch of other conservative people he's had on the show over the years. He said he even had Daniel Carver from the KKK on the show. Howard said he has to take a break and calm down. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said he has Rachel Maddow there. He said she's now number 1 in cable news. Robin asked how that happened. Howard said he knows. Fred had a John Lennon song playing. Howard asked if Rachel doesn't' know this one. She said it's good but that's not her era. Howard said they had to go kill that one guy he worshiped. Howard said it makes him angry.
Howard said Rachel has her doctorate. He asked why she doesn't go as Dr. Rachel Maddow. Rachel said she always believed that if you can't cure people it's a little over the top. Howard said it's like when Bill Cosby got his doctorate and did his thesis in Fat Albert.
Howard said he believes that Rachel is number 1 because when Trump won he needed someone to explain to him what's going on with Trump. He said that Beth always asks him to turn Rachel on. Howard said it kind of sucks because they fired Bill O'Reilly. Howard said now she cant even say she beat him. Rachel said there was a little beating of Bill before he left. She said credit to him before he left because he ruled for more than a decade.
Howard said she's like Batman without the Joker. Howard said she could be crowing about this if he was around. Rachel said she's not that kind of person. She said that she's very happy for the success but she doesn't know how to brag about it. Howard said it's not fun beating Anderson Cooper. Robin said that Tucker Carlson might be a fighter. Howard said not right now. Howard said she used to work with Tucker. Rachel said that was back in 2005 or 2006. Howard asked if she just wants to get her thoughts out. Rachel said she was just happy to be on TV saying what she wants. She said once she got her own show she didn't want to fight it out.
Howard said people like to see liberals and right wing guys fighting it out. Robin said that it's not a dialog or a debate though.
Howard asked if Rachel thinks that FOX News had pretty weak liberals so they were like a punching bag. Rachel said she's not sure how they program over there. She doesn't watch much of it. She said someone is designed to win that contest. She said that she doesn't like those fake set ups. Rachel said if you bring someone on to just be shouted down then what do you learn? She said she's not into that.
Howard said Rachel resisted all of that. Howard said Trump became President and then he wanted to hear the opposing view. He said he found himself watching Rachel every night. He said in a weird way you don't want Trump as president but she does want him because her show is on fire from Trump. Howard said he watches her ever night now. He said things change so much with Trump that he needs someone to interpret it for him. He said he's the guy who will mouth what she said the night before to his family.
Rachel said that the story is going so fast that it's not speculation or a conspiracy theory. She said that there are multiple investigations going on with Trump and his cabinet.
Howard asked Rachel if her show is highly scripted and does she know where she's going with the show. Rachel said with the exception of something coming up last minute it's scripted. She said that's what she works at all day. She said she gets to know all of the information all day and she knows it inside and out by the time the show airs.
Howard said Rachel is like Paul Harvey the way she tells her stories. Rachel said he was a master. She said that she likes to do that.
Howard asked Rachel to take him through her day. Rachel said she gets in around noon-ish. Howard asked how she prepares for the show because so much is happening. Rachel said they do it live at 9pm so it's weird. She said with a normal government you get news coming out about things and you know it's coming. She said in this administration they don't make the news about politics. She said they have to be way more nimble when it comes to doing the show.
Howard asked how many people they have working on her show. Rachel said it's not totally firm because some of the staff work on other things at MSNBC. She said it's maybe 12-15 people. Howard asked if it's the same people all along. He said she has to have people who she trusts. Rachel said he has had some people with her a long time. She said some have left because it's hard. She said it's 5 days a week 12 hours a day and 50 weeks a year. She said it's exhausting. Rachel said if you want to have a real life then it's tough. She said they're on the air live at 9.
Howard asked if she thinks that Trump puts stuff out at 8:59 to fuck with her. She laughed. She said some stuff does come out at 8:50.
Howard asked Rachel about her contracts and how much she can ask for now that she's number 1. She said she never talks about that. She said she's never made it through a whole contract though. Howard said now that she's number 1 she should be able to get more.
Howard asked if Rachel has ever had a guest on her show that she loves having on. Rachel said she doesn't have regulars. She said there are people she likes like Nicole Wallace. Howard said for him it was Trump before all of this stuff went on. Howard said Trump would come on and say the craziest stuff. He said that the person who is hurt the most from this election is him. Robin said Billy Bush has been hurt too.
Rachel said Trump was his most full self when he was on with Howard. Howard said yes. He said Trump would come on and say that Hollywood actresses are not 9s and 10s but 6s. He said Trump would say that some waitresses are 10s. Robin said he had an argument with a guy on the show because he was dating an ex.
Rachel said she heard some of the Trump stuff when it was live and some when the election was going on. She said he doesn't think things through. She said that he didn't just think stuff up on his way to the show. She said he would just come in and say stuff that he thought about for a long time. Howard said it wasn't nonsense talk. He said he loved Trump for that. He said he thought he was the best guest on the show. He said he had amazing insight.
Howard asked where we're headed with all of this. He asked if Trump will be president a year from now. He said no one can answer this intelligently for him. He asked if she thinks he'll be tossed out of office. Rachel said it's a hard question to answer directly. She said they could talk impeachment and all of that. She said there's a different answer to all of that. She said the big bottom line is hard to give. She said the criminal investigation is progressing so fast that she's not sure where it will end up. Rachel said if they get to the bottom of the Russia thing it's kind of hard to see. She said anyone up to and including the Vice President can be indicted and jailed. Howard said it was kind of weird that Trump said that he fired Comey to get him off his back. Howard said it was an honest statement. Howard said that's an admission of some illegal activity. Rachel said they will find out. She said there are things that they can't indict the president over. She said that if Mueller or the DOJ are able to put forward evidence that he committed a crime that the republicans will do what's right.
Howard asked if Rachel is surprised at how supportive some of these people are of Trump. Rachel said she's kind of surprised at how deep it goes. She said if they find out there was espionage or criminal activity then they'll find out if they're serving the public or just partisan.
Howard said that the idea of the Russians tampered with the election is out there. He said that many groups have said it's true. Howard said that he'd like to know why they can't tell them how they tampered with it. Howard asked why we don't know this. Rachel said there were two reports. She said one came out in October and that was from Homeland Security. She said another one came out in January. She said there were two things. She said Russians stole stuff from the DNC and they figured out how to best use it to affect the media. Howard asked how they hacked it. He said you'd think they have the most secure servers. Howard said that they should put money into protecting that stuff. He said it's so maddening.
Rachel said that Russia wants to think of itself as a super power. She said they have one aircraft carrier and they have a flotilla following it because it might sink. She said they are not a super power now. She said that the size of their miliary isn't even close. She said the way they decided to keep up with the United States was with cyber. She said that's why this stuff happens. She said they took the advantage and used it against our election and it worked.
Robin said we actually make stuff that people can use and all they do it hack it. Howard said North Korea can't even get a missile off the ground. Rachel said that they are getting better. She said that they are working in some way but they haven't made it to the United States.
Howard asked if she hates that people say the NY Times is a shit newspaper. Howard said that they're the gold standard. Rachel said that the Washington Post is really good right now. She said we are so blessed by the mainstream media.
Howard asked how Rachel gets her information. He asked if she's a speed reader. She said she has good reading comprehension but she's not a speed reader. Rachel said that she reads about 40 tabs. She said she'll go into the specialist press about some things when they're researching. Robin asked if she has a personal life. Rachel said no. Howard said Bill O'Reilly had too much of a personal life. Howard said that's why he got into so much trouble.
Howard asked if Rachel ever goes on vacation. She said no again. She said she goes to Massachusetts on the weekends. She said she fishes. Howard said he feels bad for the fish. He said he heard they die once you put your oils on them. Howard said they're all fucked up from the hook and all of that. Rachel said she fishes in the Hudson too. Howard said he had a pond near him and he could just throw a rod in there and pull out a ton of fish. Howard said it's relaxing. Rachel said it's just hard enough that you have to think about it while you're doing it. Howard said he went out fishing once and swans started chasing him. He said he was in a boat and they came at him. He said he was with Jimmy Kimmel and he thought they were going to get killed. Howard said they were rowing like crazy to get away from them. He said they're as big as a human being. He said if there was a video of this you'd say he was the biggest pussy ever.
Howard said he heard Rachel talking about having Roger Ailes critique her once. Rachel said she wasn't sure if he was going to give her bad advice or what. She said that he was gracious and constructive. She said he gave her things to think about. Howard said that was nice. Rachel said the sexual harassment allegations against him got him fired. She said that was serious stuff. Howard said once Megyn Kelly said something and didn't sue then they had to fire him. Rachel said she was never in touch with him after that. She said she sent him a note one day and didn't hear back. She said that's when the allegations came out. She said they never talked again. She said that she never talked to him about that stuff. She said he was generous to her before that. She said she doesn't want to downplay all of that stuff.
Howard said that you see Mel Gibson and he's charming and it can be confusing when you hear about the other stuff he's done. Rachel said that accountability is what counts. She said that we're all better than the worst thing we've done in our lives.
Howard asked if Rachel would have ever considered working for FOX News if Roger had asked her to. Rachel said he once told her that he wanted to hire her at FOX but never put her on the air. She said he wanted to hire her and keep her off the air. Howard asked if she would consider that. Rachel asked who wouldn't consider that. Howard said he wanted to do that with people who wanted to kick him off radio. He said they could have bought out his contract.
Howard said it seems like Rachel is doing damage to FOX News now. Rachel said it seems like things are in flux. She said she's not sure how long cable news has. She said that Roger is gone and Bill O'Reilly is gone. She said she's not sure what will happen. Howard said MSNBC is coming up and he thinks they're doing a good job.
Howard said he tunes into MSNBC on Sunday nights and they run long form stuff. He said he's not sure why they do that. Howard said it's prison stuff. Rachel said that they had spectacular ratings with that stuff. She said that's the one time they were killing FOX when FOX was killing them. Howard said that he gets that but now the channel is on a roll.
Howard asked if they give Rachel room to do what she wants to there. Rachel said she has had maybe 2 or 3 incidents asking her not to cover something. She said she will quit and then it's over. Howard said if they get sued over something she does then it can be dangerous. Rachel said she has to check facts and all of that and she follows their rules for that stuff. She said they do regular training for the staff about how to do that stuff. Rachel said she never wants the network to feel like they have to worry. Rachel said you can take her word for it that she's telling the truth about things on her show.
Howard asked if she knows anyone else over there. Rachel said they don't interact with the other shows there. She said they don't spend time talking around the water cooler.
Howard asked why Rachel said if Phil Griffin ever leaves she's going to leave. Rachel said she's said that for years. She said he brought him on and it was at a time when no one else was bringing her on. She said she was a liberal coming from nowhere. She said that she was doing a thing so she was like Pat from Saturday Night Live. She said that people thought she was a boy. Howard said his wife is into her. He said she thinks she's hot. Rachel said she might be that girl crush. Howard said she loves watching her. She said she'll say she's glad she wears makeup.
Howard said he's never looked at someone who was a mentor to him. He said that was a nice thing for Roger to do to talk to her. He said it was like fatherly advice. Rachel said that people get mad at her for saying nice things about him. She said she's not downplaying what he did but she is saying that he was a friend to her. Howard asked if she should have gone to the funeral. Rachel said she thinks it would have been a distraction. Howard said she could have been a dick about it. She said that she was very nice about it.
Rachel asked Howard how he knew he had it right doing what he was doing. Howard said he was talking about this with his psychiatrist yesterday. He said he could never ask his parents for advice. He said it never occurred to him that he could ask someone how to do things. Howard said when he went to college he didn't know what to do. He said he got into radio and there were some people who were good at radio and he should have adjusted them to listen to him. He said he thought he had to walk in and act like an expert. He said some people must have laughed at him behind his back. Howard said he should have gone to someone asking how to be better.
Rachel said that Howard's style came out of that. She said that she's not drawing a parallel to him but she never watched cable news. She said she didn't even have a TV. She said that it was helpful that she didn't know how everyone else did it. She said she was able to do it her own way. Howard said that she took the high road in the way she does her show. Howard said that's what he thinks.
Howard said Rachel was talking about a bank that Putin owns that Trump got a loan from. Rachel said it was his business partner who got the loan. Howard asked how that's not a huge story. Rachel said there are a lot of big stories. She said that he's taking on a lawyer who is also representing the largest state run Russian bank. Howard asked what's going on. He asked what she thinks is happening. Rachel said that number 1 there are a ton of unexplained contacts between Trump's people and the Kremlin. She said that they just know that they're contacts. She said we don't know why they were happening. Rachel said they lied about some contacts and didn't disclose things. She said that if they tried to shut down the investigation then they need to know about that. She asked why Jared Kushner was meeting with this Russian bank during the election. She said that's the stuff that they have to figure out.
Howard said he's not sure why Trump ran for president. He said he had the life. Howard said the guy has this great Mar-A-Lago and he's not sure why he would want the hassle of being President. Howard said he had it all. Howard said he'd tell him to get the fuck out if he could get in touch with him.
Howard said he thinks Hillary blew it with her campaign. He said that he put it out to her that he reaches a lot of 25-54 year olds who aren't into her so much. Howard said maybe if she came on the show she could reveal some things and get people on her side. Howard said it seems like there was a lack of trying on her part. Howard said she never really tried. Rachel said it was a traditional campaign and she didn't do a show like Howard's because they were being conservative. They thought Trump would be easy to beat. That turned out not to be true.
Howard asked if Rachel gets a lot of negative mail and things about her show. She said that no matter what's going on she gets the same amount. She said that she tries to ignore it.
Robin asked about the people who are so against the facts and try to make up their own news. Howard said it's like that with the Russian interference in the election. Rachel said they have the information and then Trump admits it was the Russians but then he denies it again. Howard said that he thinks it's going to delegitimize his election.
Howard asked if Rachel is having fun. Rachel said she likes her job but it's hard. She said that she's happy but she's not that healthy. She said she threw her back out plugging in her laptop. She said she has a heal your back book that Howard has mentioned. Howard said she'll be fine if she reads that. Howard said those books saved his life.
Howard said that Rachel's day is full and she can't do more than she does. Rachel said she's a columnist for the Washington Post but she hasn't been able to send anything since before November. She said she works and she has a great girlfriend and great dogs. She said she goes home on the weekends and she tries to relax. Rachel said her girlfriend has her own life and she's as busy as she is. Howard said that she's said that she battles depression too. Rachel said it's not so severe that she can't work. Howard asked about Chris Cornell and if she worries about getting that low and hurting herself. Rachel said she doesn't because she has Susan and Susan can look at her and tell what's going on with her. She said that she has things that she can do to get out of it. She doesn't take any medication for that but she has things she does. She said tat Susan is also able to tell when she's depressed so she can tell her when she needs to do that stuff.
Howard said he thought Rachel looked hot with longer hair. Rachel said she likes looking the way she does. Howard said he likes it too but he's wondering if she'd ever change it up. Rachel said that she has been asked to change it up but it's not happening.
Rachel asked how Howard is doing. Howard said he's okay. He said he goes through life not thinking about anything. He said he has a week off coming up soon and he's just going to sit in a room not thinking about anything but going back to work.
Rachel asked if he worries about what's going on with the country. Howard said he's terribly worried about this country. He said there are people who are good at their jobs and he believes in the checks and balances. He said there are good congress people and others in government who are doing a good job. Howard said there are people he worries about and the economy and all of that. Howard said we should feel united over things but he feels we're sinking. He said he is really worried. He said he was all for Obamacare and all of that. He said it wasn't perfect but it was a move in the right direction. Rachel said that they haven't been able to pass anything with Trump yet. She said that there's something that doesn't make sense with the republicans not being able to pass bills with Trump in office. She said that something is really off. Howard said this is why he had her in there. He said he has to make sense of this. Rachel said she's sorry.
Howard gave Rachel a plug for her show and said that Fallon and Colbert call her Maddow like ''Shadow.'' Rachel said that's the correct pronunciation. She said she's not offended in the way he says it. Howard gave her some more plugs and said her name the way Colbert and Fallon say her name. Howard said she's also on channel 118 there on SiriusXM.
Rachel said she loves Howard. She said she doesn't like doing other media but she loves doing Howard's show. She said she'll come on anytime. Howard said he'll have her back. He said they should swap hair some day. He said she'd look good with his Fro.
Howard asked Rachel what she's doing today. She said she's going to the dentist after this. She said she's trying to take care of herself. Howard said Beth thinks she should wear a necklace. Rachel said she has a very long neck and she can't do that. Howard said they have this discussion every night. He told her to talk to Beth about that. Robin said she should wear that thing that African women wear to extend their necks. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that. As they went to break they played a Crackhead Bob call to a Chinese restaurant where he tried to place an order.
Howard said Robin is going to do the news but he has The Angry Political Guy sitting in today during the news. Howard said they made a call to the Angry Political Guy too. Howard played that call and they called the Angry Political Guy with a woman who thanked him for supporting Hillary Clinton. The Angry Political Guy went off on her saying that he doesn't support her. He said he'd never say that. Then they had Jason call in thanking him for supporting the Jews. The guy went off on Jason too. Then they had Memet and Sal come in thanking him for saying he'd officiate their gay wedding. He called them pieces of shit and hung up. They also had Shuli call in asking if he'd attend their gay son's Jewish bar mitzvah. The Angry Political Guy freaked out and hung up on him too.
Howard said he has the Angry Political Guy sitting in for the news. He was in the back office on Gary's microphone. Howard said he'll be producing the show from back there. Angry Political Guy was freaking out on Howard and saying he didn't know who that ''dude'' Rachel Maddow was. Howard said that was a woman. Angry Political Guy was talking about Gary's office and making rude comments about him.
Howard said it's time for some news. He had a song parody from fake Jeff Goldblum. Fred played some wind chime sounds as Robin was starting her news. Howard said Lenny Dykstra has a message for Robin for Memorial Day. He said just wait until he plays that.
Howard said he was reading that the audience for The Bachelorette was 10 percent lower this season than it was last time. Howard asked if Robin thinks America is racist. Robin said of course it is. Angry Political Guy said you don't want to see a darkie dating people. He said it's not a rose ceremony this year, it's a watermelon ceremony. Howard said ''how dare you, asshole.'' Fake Angry Political Guy called him cunt breath.
Robin read a story about how the FCC isn't taking any action in the Colbert incident. Robin said he said ''Cock holster'' but it was bleeped out. Howard said of course they're not. He said they're just waiting for him to return. He said they're so bored over there.
Howard said he has a censorship story. He said that he has some thoughts on this. He said they bleep everything out now. Howard said that R-rated movies are heavily censored. He said they replace profanity with awful dialog. Robin said they say dumb words. Howard said this is the actual Scarface movie clip. He played a clip where they said ''Where's you get that scar? Eating pussy?'' and in the safe TV version they said ''eating pineapple.''
Howard said in Pineapple Express they have Seth Rogen and James Franco calling each other asshole and in the safe version they changed it to ''casserole.'' Howard said the best one is from The Big Lebowski where John Goodman is yelling and smashing a car saying ''This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!'' Howard said in the safe one they changed it to ''this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps'' and ''This is what happened when you find someone eating scrambled eggs.'' Howard played clips of all of these examples. Howard had one from Snakes on a Plane. They changed ''mother fucker to ''monkey fighting.''
Robin read a story about a black man who is having a white penis transplant and he's going to have it tattooed to match his skin color. Robin said last month they were able to transplant the penis and it's expected to be fully functional in the next few months.
Robin read a story about a man in Arkansas who found his mother lying in a pool of her own blood and her caretaker passed out on the floor with her mouth red with gore. Robin said the caretaker had bitten the 92 year old on the arm, neck and nipple. Howard said that's what happens when you get old. Your caretaker eats you alive. Robin said it also appeared part of her chin was bitten off.
Howard said to pay the Angry Political Guy today he has agreed to play some clips of his show. Angry Political Guy said he runs a pretty tight ship on his show. Howard played a clip from the show where the real Angry Political Guy was having phone trouble and wasn't able to hear his guests. Angry Political Guy said that was his first fuck up in 25 years.
Robin read a story about how the big thing now is vaginal skin care. Robin said Emma Watson shared recently that she uses Fur Oil on her area. Robin said that Kim Kardashian has an 8 step process and Gwyneth Paltrow uses steam to take care of her's. Robin said now they're looking to bring out some new products for regular people. Howard said he heard it can dry it out. Robin said the vagina can clean itself. Howard said Robin doesn't use douche. Robin said no. Howard said you just take a bath and get that stink out.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him not to hang up on him. He asked why he doesn't push back on what Rachel Maddow says because some of the stuff she says is false. He said he should stick up for Trump or America. Howard said they were talking about the Russian's tampering with the election. He said it's a fact. Howard said you want to know about that stuff. The caller said she was also saying that the Russian military is falling apart. Howard said that's true. Howard said she was explaining that they put their money into cyber attacks. Howard asked why he does this show anymore. Howard hung up on the guy. Angry Political Guy said Howard is a fucking asshole. He said he looks like a Rabbi fucked a praying mantis. Howard argued with the Angry Political Guy who said Sal is the only voice of reason on the show.
Robin said David Letterman has had it with not having a late night outlet. Robin said he's being interviewed by people and he's saying he was sickened by Trump and what he's doing. Dave also said Trump was a great guest but he was a big, wealthy dope. Robin said Dave talked about how he made fun of his hair and called him a slum lord and now he's wondering if the guy has a soul. Robin said Dave said he wants 90 minuets to do an interview with Donald so he can ask him what the fuck happened. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jon Stewart announcing that he has scrapped a show he was going to do with HBO. Robin said it was going to be a digital animated project but it's now been scrapped. Robin said something happened so they weren't able to deliver it on time. Howard said he hates digital animation. He said it looks so cheap. Howard said he was going to do a cartoon but he bailed on it. He said he wanted to do it where they send it off to Korea to be animated. Howard said he wanted a real cartoon but it was too expensive. Robin said they have some other idea for Jon to do with HBO. Howard said Jon is a farmer now. He's busy with that. He said he admires Jon for doing what he's doing. He said he likes that guy.
Robin had some more Oprah clips from a commencement speech she gave recently. Robin had Howard play a clip of Oprah rambling on and on about how her whole life was a prayer and offering in service. Howard asked what the fuck she's talking about. Robin said that Pharrell Williams also spoke about gender equality and things like that. She had a clip for Howard to play. Howard asked why commencement speeches have to be so boring. Robin said they should be entertaining with Pharrell. Howard did his impression of a speaker at a commencement. Robin said Arnold Schwarzenegger made a commencement speech too. Robin had a clip to play. Robin had a clip of Will Ferrell speaking at another commencement. He was joking around apologizing to the parents of the students. He was also singing. Angry Political Guy had a speech that he kept short. He just said ''Heil Hitler... mic drop.'' Howard played more of the Will Ferrell speech. He was singing to comfort the students in their time of need. Howard made his own speech again and spoke very slowly and clearly.
Howard played Lenny Dykstra's message to Robin for Memorial day. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Howard had another Angry Political Guy clip to play too. He had one where he was going off on a guy for writing in bold in an email.
Robin read a story about an official talking about how the Russians did interfere with this election. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard asked how America isn't upset about this. Robin said on Bill Maher's show this weekend they brought up the Russian interference and this guy refused to say he believed the reports of the 17 different agencies. Robin had a clip from Maher's show. Howard said he hates these political conversations. Howard said 17 agencies said the Russians fucked with us and there's no denying it. Angry Political Guy said that's fake news.
Howard took a call from Underdog Lady (Rachel Butera) who said something about Memorial Day not being about Jesus so she can't celebrate it.
Robin read about how President Trump was with the Pope and he's seeking peace in the world. Robin said they had come to a misunderstanding in prior months about something Trump said about refugees coming into the country. Robin also said that Trump is retaining a private attorney for the investigation that's going on.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked when his next in studio appearance is. Robin asked when it is. Howard said he doesn't have a schedule in front of him. Howard asked if there's a reason to come in. Jeff said he wants to sing a song. Howard said no one wants to see that. Howard said it kind of goes nowhere. He said it's not that funny. Robin asked if he's been promising his people on Periscope. Jeff said they have been asking. Howard asked why he's echoing now. Jeff said he's on speaker. Howard said goodbye to him. Jeff picked up but Howard said they're still echoing. Jeff said they are not. Howard said he doesn't want to echo. He said he had one job and he had to put him on speaker. Howard said last time he was on he said he had nothing to say. He said now he wants to be on. He said he can come if he has an agenda. Howard did a live commercial read after that. He said it's been a long morning.
Howard had Jeff back on the phone. He asked what's up. Jeff said he really wants to come in and sing. He said he'd like to sing ''Hurt'' or maybe ''Hotel California.'' Howard asked Robin what she makes of this. Robin said she's heard Hotel California too much. Howard said they heard it every day since they're in radio. Howard asked why he should have him in. Jeff said he'd think it was awesome. Howard had Jeff's Lump on the phone. The Lump said that he liked the echo better. Howard said no one wants to hear Jeff sing ''Hurt.'' He said he thinks he's heard it and it's not that good. Jeff said it's good when he's live. Howard said they have to wait for him to come in when they have something for him to do. He said he needs to be a judge or on a panel for something. He said if they ever get to The Gathering maybe they'll have him on. Howard said for the past 10 years they haven't had the right moment. The Lump told him to go throw himself off a cliff. Howard let Jeff go and said he'll come up with something to do. Jeff asked if they're off for one or two weeks. Howard said it's just one.
Robin read a story about the bombing at the Ariana Grande bombing and they say that they made 3 more arrests in connection to the bombing. Robin said that guy who blew himself up had just come back from Syria. Howard said those trips to those countries are not good.
Robin read a story about it being fleet week this week. Robin said that security will be up while that's going on. Howard asked Robin if she went out with some guy during fleet week. Robin said it was just some guy on a boat. Robin said it wasn't a service guy. Howard said he thinks he's confusing her with Fred. He said Fred fucked the Navy.
Robin read a story about how Whoopi Goldberg may be thinking about running for mayor. Robin said that she was asking for medical marijuana laws to be passed.
Robin read about Anthony Weiner pleading guilty to texting a minor. Howard said that guy loves sexting. Robin said he got into big trouble with that and she's not sure how this woman kept taking him back until this happened. Howard said she's finally divorcing Weiner. Howard said it's like if a Meth Head got arrested for drugs. Howard said he'd make sure he didn't do weird things with his wiener if he was named Weiner. Angry Political Guy said that would be like if he was named Jew Hater. Howard said that's right.
Robin read a story about Bill Cosby's attorneys saying that they're purposely keeping black people off the jury in his trial. Howard said it's like if his name was Bill Ruffie. He said the Penguin walks like a Penguin and the Riddler tells riddles. He said you'd think Weiner wouldn't do stuff with his wiener.
Robin read a story about how 9 out of 10 people are willing to change their lives to prevent future climate change. Robin read the details of a survey that was done about climate change. Howard said he's not giving up his limo to help. He said a lot of people should give up these amenities. He said people should sacrifice but he's not giving up his limo. He said the baby wipes are ruining the environment but he's not giving them up either.
Robin read a story about Paul McCartney writing about what a great James Bond Roger Moore was when he worked with him during the time of Live and Let Die. Robin said she was thinking about tweeting out about the Ariana Grande thing the other night but she thought better of it because that's just not something she does. Howard said sure she is. He said she should have just done it.
Robin read a story about last night's Dancing with the Stars finale. Robin mentioned the winner.
Robin read about how NASA is livid that a moon dust bag from Apollo 11 may sell for millions. Robin said that it was sold to a collector at a police auction and now he's selling it at a Sotheby's auction. Robin said NASA thinks it should be on public display because it was never meant to be owned by a private citizen.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.