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Howard started the show talking about being back live after the Thanksgiving break. Howard said he wants to acknowledge why he's called a bunch of the guys (Ronnie, Shuli, Brent, The Lump, Gary, JD and Sal) into the studio this morning. Howard said he wants to congratulate them on the overwhelming support for their dynamic debut on their Thursday before the break. Howard said everyone loved having the gang in the studio. Robin said she loved it.
Howard said he wants to read some of the email he got about that show. Howard said he wants to talk to the guys about their break. He said he knows that Ronnie was out with Scott on vacation. Shuli said he has notes for what went on. He said there were some disagreements between them.
Howard said he got a clip of Ronnie and Scott driving somewhere and you get the impression that Scott was so excited to be out of the house. He said he wasn't miserable for a minute. Howard said they were on Facebook or Periscope. Ronnie said Scott was the one on Periscope. He said he didn't want to be bothered by it. Howard said Scott was doing this for the fans apparently. Ronnie said they were driving to the hotel from the airport. Ronnie said he was driving. Howard said Scott was on Periscope and it became clear that the two of them were super boring and unfunny. Howard said Scott is such a maniac.
The Lump said there's nothing worse than Happy go lucky Scott. Howard agreed. Howard said there's nothing going on there with Scott. Ronnie said the funny part was that he was playing with his phone so much that his phone blew up and they didn't know where the fuck they were going. He said they lost their navigation.
Howard said he has a clip of the two of them. He said listen to Scott the host. He said this is Scott and Ronnie on Periscope. Ronnie said he asked Scott how many people were watching and he had 56. Shuli said you could yell out the window and reach more people.
Howard played the clip and Scott was asking Ronnie what was up and Ronnie had nothing to say. Scott didn't either. Howard said Scott's thing was to just say ''Who gives a shit?''
Howard said he's built up Ronnie to be important to the audience. He said he was with his brother in laws over the break and they love Ronnie but they have no idea he's a big fucking bore. Howard said they make sure he's good on the air. He said then Scott gets him on and he has nothing to say. Howard said this goes on and on and on.
Howard played more of the audio and Scott was trying to joke around and doing voices. Scott was asking Ronnie the questions that the 56 viewers were asking.
Howard said that made Benjy's Periscope look like Downton Abby. Howard said Scott had to miss the show on that Thursday. He said he had no problem going on vacation. Gary said Jason posted that on their internal web site and Scott freaked out. Howard said Scott got mad at Jason. Gary said Scott accused him of talking behind his back but he just posted it publicly.
Shuli said that Scott did bring up something interesting about Ronnie. He said when he's around his NASCAR buddies he's Ronald and not Ronnie. Shuli said when his big shot friends showed up he ditched Scott. Ronnie said he did that a little bit.
Howard had Scott come in. Scott came in and said he thought this would be a good time to use that Periscope that he doesn't use much. Howard said he was supposed to be in on that Thursday morning but he had to go to some emergency. Howard asked how that cleared up by the time they went on vacation the next day. Ronnie said he thought the trip was off. He said he called Scott on Thursday afternoon and he told him he was going. Howard said most of his crisis' happen during show hours. Howard said in his world nothing fucks with his vacation but work is another story.
Howard asked if he was upset that he missed Thursday. Howard said the guys all had a great time in there. Scott said he didn't listen to the show. He said he was in emergency mode. He said he was upset though. He said his emergency is never over. He said he's always in that mode.
Howard said Scott went on this trip and he was having a good time on the road and all of that. Howard said Scott was having a good time until Ronnie's buddies from NASCAR showed up. Scott said Ronnie was hitting on Kurt Busch's wife. Ronnie said he was not. He said he was sitting with her and bullshitting. He said he wasn't hitting on her. Ronnie said he wasn't talking to that other girl Kelly. Scott said Ronnie introduced him to her. Ronnie said by the end of the night that was Scott's friend. He said they were invited to that party because Scott set it all up.
Howard said they were at a party and Scott met Kelly who invited him to another party. Scott said that's correct. Ronnie said he doesn't know what went on there. Shuli said he heard about another party that Ronnie was invited to but then no one was there. Ronnie said that was Kelly who told them to show up to. Scott said they were told to show up to that and Ronnie was the one who set that up.
Howard asked how old they are. He said that they're going to parties. Howard said both of them are in relationships. Ronnie said he went to hang out with friends. Howard said it sounds like a tremendous effort. Ronnie said it's not for him.
Howard asked when Ronnie ditched Scott. Ronnie said he ditched Scott at both parties. He said he kept trying to walk away but he'd follow. He said he was making sure Scott was okay. He said he wasn't going to be nasty to him. Howard said he was up to his bald head in pussy. Howard did his Scott voice taking about the trip.
Ronnie said here were a lot of girls at the Monster energy party. Shuli said they had these two for an energy drink party.
Shuli said Scott talks about this stuff and makes it sound so boring. Howard asked Scott about it and Scott said they went to the Driver's meeting and that was fun. Ronnie said they had them up to the garage on Saturday too. He called Scott a stupid fuck. He said he's not an appreciative person. He said Scott makes it like if something didn't happen then it was like something was supposed to happen and he'd get upset. Ronnie said they weren't sure if they were going to get to sit in certain places at the race. He said that Scott kept asking where they were watching it from. Ronnie said he didn't know. Howard said he's doing the best he can so why ask 50 times. Ronnie said they did a great job setting them up in 3 suites to watch the race. Ronnie said Scott kept asking and suggesting to watch from different places.
Shuli said Scott wanted to watch from the pits but Ronnie said you can't see anything from there. Ronnie said you can't. Howard asked if he'd take Scott again. Ronnie said he's not sure. He said he's going to Daytona in February and he told Scott that and Scott said he's not sure if he can go but he didn't even invite him.
Howard said it sounds like he's a pain in the ass to deal with. Ronnie said that Scott doesn't get out much. He said when he does get out he doesn't know what to do. He said he has to stop with the phone and the vape. He said that's all you hear in the car. He said they got to the airport and he wasn't able to get his boarding pass out of his phone because it blew up. He said nothing was working in the phone.
Ronnie said that Scott was asking about breakfast and he's not a breakfast person. He said he told Scott to get up and get his own food without him. Scott said he was asking if he wanted to go to breakfast. Ronnie said he isn't a breakfast person. He said Scott didn't have it one morning and he got pissed. Scott said it was just that first day. Ronnie said he's kind of spoiled with the whole NASCAR thing. He said they spoil him because of the show. He said they have a lot of big fans there.
Howard said he's pretty sure he would have met those guys and been accepted if he was just a limo driver. Ronnie said no. Gary said some people can hang and some cant. He said Scott can't hang. Sal said in his Scott voice ''I hang myself.'' Howard did his impression of Scott and goofed on him a little more.
Ronnie said Shuli has a list of things that he has complaints about. Shuli said that Scott was telling Ronnie that he knows everyone and where to go. Ronnie said that Stephanie is the one who usually handles it. He said they ended up going to the bar in the hotel to eat a turkey sandwich with Scott. He said you have to hear the best part. Howard asked why they hang out together. He asked what they like about each other. Ronnie said they were in South Beach and they could have gone to a restaurant but Scott didn't want to take an Uber. He said they walked a few blocks and he knew there were restaurants. He said Scott wanted to eat at the bar in the hotel.
Howard asked Scott if it was the 6 bucks he didn't want to spend. Scott said it wasn't that. Howard asked why he didn't go down to where they were. Scott said he didn't know where to eat and he thought Ronnie knew. Howard said he could have gone because Ronnie knew where to go. Scott said he didn't want to go to a nice place. He said it was like 3 in the afternoon.
Howard asked why he would go with him. Ronnie said the best part is that they got caught in traffic and they were stuck. He said Scott was yakking about how he wanted pizza. He said they're in Florida so why eat that down there. He said he saw a place a few miles from the hotel. He said he thought it was Pizza Hut or something like that. He said he pulled over and walked back a block. It turns out it's a Pita Hut. He said they went there to get something to eat. Howard said Ronnie's strong suit isn't reading. Ronnie said they sat down and he ordered a chicken burger. He said he asked if she could put American cheese on it. He said she says that it's Kosher so he had to go sit at the counter. Scott said you can't have dairy and meat together.
Ronnie said Scott was eating this stuff that his family used to make. Ronnie said they just stayed there to eat. He said Scott is telling him about how his grandmother made it better than this. He said he was just trying to eat his chicken burger. He said it was a big chicken cutlet on bread. Howard asked what the point of this story is. Ronnie said it was supposed to be a pizzeria but it turns out to be a Pita place.
Ronnie said that he doesn't want to go on trips with Scott. He said he just doesn't handle it well. Howard asked Scott what he had at the restaurant. Scott said he had the same thing as Ronnie. Ronnie said there were other things he ate. Scott said it was Kibbat or something like that. Ronnie said he kept telling him ''PARV, PARV'' when they were in there. Robin said he can't read Pita but then he's supposed to recognize PARV.
Ronnie said they got home and they land at Laguardia. He said he asked Scott how he was getting home and he was going to take an Uber. Ronnie said he told him he had to take a bus to get there. He said he wanted to come to his house. He said no way and told him to take the bus. Ronnie said he was going to get caught in traffic so he's not sure if he figured it out. Scott said no, he's still at the airport.
Howard said Ronnie and Scott had an adventure over vacation. Scott said it was awesome because Ronnie really hooked them up. Scott said Ronnie goes every year and he figured he'd leave things up to him.
Shuli said Scott asks a ton of questions and can't just go with the flow. Ronnie said Scott was on his phone Googling restaurants. He said they go to this Bros on the Beach and it turns out to be a grocery store. He said that it's Brother's Cafe and there are 2 tables inside and 2 out and it's a grocery store. Scott said it was Google that told him it was a restaurant.
Howard said they could have walked someplace to eat. Ronnie said Scott was complaining that his feet hurt. Scott said it's his knees. Howard said it's either COPD or his knees or his bald head.
Shuli said that Ronnie had a problem with Scott's attire. Ronnie said it wasn't him. He said that it was the fans. Scott said he wore shorts. Ronnie said they were taking a picture in the garage and he put it up on Twitter. He said he wrote that he brought his grandfather with him. It was Scott in shorts. He said they were sweat pant shorts from like 1981. Ronnie said they had a hole in the ass. He had socks that looked grey but they were white. Howard said his legs are so white that he's almost translucent. He said it's like he hasn't been outside in 25 years. Scott said he was out all summer. Howard did his Scott voice and goofed on him about that.
Howard and the guys were goofing on Scott and doing impressions of him. Howard was talking about vaping at the party and things like that. Howard said this sounds like a fucking nightmare. He said he has to take a break. He didn't stop doing his impression of Scott though. Howard was coming up with more stuff to goof on Scott about.
Gary asked if Scott is invited to Daytona if he can go. Ronnie said he is if he can go. Ronnie said he invited Scott to go to this race. Scott said he thinks Ronnie did it thinking he'd never be able to go. He said that Ronnie was trying to get out of it. He said he was being nice but he thought he wouldn't be able to go. Howard played a song parody about Scott after that.
Howard said after the break he'll let Ronnie give an update about High Pitch Erik who texted him this morning. Shuli said he texted a lot of people about it. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said Scott would have been in there the rest of the show but he missed that Thursday show. Scott said unfortunately things happen. Howard said he can go back to his Periscope for his 57 fans. Ronnie said Scott kept trying to do that at the track too. He said he just wanted to be left alone. Howard said he should have just enjoyed his day. Scott said he did. He said he was just trying to bust his balls.
Ronnie said Scott told him he never sleeps on the plane. He said he looks over and he's fast asleep with his mouth wide open. He said the gum was hanging out of his mouth. Scott said he took a pill. Howard said the guys at Bros on the Beach told them to never come there again. Ronnie said he had bright green gum that was hanging out. Howard thanked Scott for coming in but said he isn't part of this panel today. He said he's congratulating the guys on what they did that day. Howard said he can't get rid of Scott now. He said he sees Ronnie's problem now. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from Virginia and Howard did an impression of Scott asking Ronnie for suggestions on where to eat there. Howard said he thinks there's something psychologically going on with Scott. Robin said he never makes a decision on his own so he can be the one to criticize.
The caller said Ronnie is just trying to get out of the house and hang. Howard said there's something wrong with this guy. Howard let him go. Howard did more of his Scott impression and goofed on him about his shorts. Howard said he saw that picture of him in the shorts and he was wondering if he looks in the mirror. Ronnie said he ditched them real quick after the fans saw him.
Howard said he got a note from Adam Carolla and he wrote to say he's been listening and the show has been funny. He said that Dr. Drew is devastated about what he said about him on the air. Howard said that was a great way to ruin his vacation. Howard said Dr. Drew sent him a gift and it was a bunch of shitty MAD Magazines from his mom's basement. Howard said they smelled like a basement and they weren't in good condition. He said they were a mess. Howard said the pages were flaky.
Howard said it was a sweet thing to do but he went off on the whole thing. He said Adam told him that Drew is in a funk about it now. Howard said he didn't know he was so sensitive. Gary said he got a few notes from him. He said that Drew thinks he was wrong for sending them. Howard said it wasn't wrong. Howard said he just doesn't like gifts with spider eggs in them. Howard said there were torn pages where you couldn't see the punch line. Howard said he just threw them in the garbage. Howard said don't send shit you find in your grandmother's basement. Howard said he felt bad over Thanksgiving about making Drew feel bad. Howard said he wrote back to Adam to please tell him that it's an acknowledgement of the gift and he didn't know it would hurt his feelings. He said he just needed a break.
Howard said maybe send him some gently used Playboy magazines instead. He said that he really loves George Takei but he got into some trouble when some guy accused him of sexual harassment. Howard said George said something on the air and he wanted to shut him up. He said George issued an apology and threw him under the bus. Robin said she saw that. Shuli said he basically blamed Howard for that.
Howard said he has to find that and read it. Howard said he has the statement that George put out. Brent said it was really disappointing to read. Howard said he loves George and he hopes they see him on the show again. Howard said he's not sure if he did anything wrong or not. He said when he comes in he interviews him about his life. Howard said that's it. He said George could have said it's inappropriate instead of saying what he said. Howard said he got uncomfortable. Howard said he was trying to protect him but then George basically blames him and says he was in a sketch. Howard said he wasn't in a sketch. Howard said he wasn't joking around either. He said he just asked a question.
Howard read the statement George put out and George was saying it was he and Howard that were joking around. Howard said he had nothing to do with it. Howard said George claims he's been playing the part of a naughty grandpa on the show. Howard said he didn't know he was playing a part. Howard read more about the ''sketch'' that he was part of and how he was sorry for taking part in this insinuation. Howard said go listen to this and you'll hear how it wasn't a sketch. Howard said he made no insinuation at all. Howard said he didn't do that at all.
Shuli said that he asked the question one time and the flood gates opened. Howard said then he cut him off.
Howard read more of what George said and said he's not sure what he's talking about. Howard said he just asked George if he's an asshole like Harvey Weinstein. Howard read more of what George wrote. Howard said he doesn't have to throw him under the bus. Jason said that he's flailing around now. He said he was blaming the Russians at first. Howard said he does love George so he feels weird about this. He said it sounded very lawyerly to him. Howard said they just pin it on Howard. Howard said he just wanted to clarify that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's being a bit of an asshole about goofing on Dr. Drew. Howard said he hates to have to explain comedy to him but that's what this show is. Howard said that he's had to throw Gary's gifts out. The caller said he beat the shit out of Drew. Howard said he just went in his basement and found some shitty magazines. Sal said Howard should be the one who is stressed out. Howard said he should just wrap up his garbage and send it to Drew saying that he knows he loves food and he found some in his basement. Jason said he should send him some of his cum Kleenex since Drew is a sex expert. Howard said that's going too far.
Howard said he hopes that George comes back on the show. Howard said he's going to ask him who wrote that nonsense. Howard said he can't blame him for his problems. Howard said he's not part of his controversy. Howard said they weren't playing a part.
Gary said if he was in the FBI and he saw a guy who looks like Brent going to every place a serial killer went then he'd start looking at Brent.
Howard said that he went down there and tried to do his profiling work. Brent said one guy had a killing happen outside his window. He said he heard the shots outside. He said the first one was loud and the two other shots were muffled because the guy shot him at close range. Brent said this one location was in a busy street in the morning.
Gary said he heard there are a lot of escape routes down there. Brent said there are a lot of alleys and escape routes. Robin said that's every neighborhood. Brent said that the place is crawling with every kind of law enforcement. Howard asked how long he was there. Brent said they were there for 2 days. He said he was fully armed too. Howard said he essentially found there's a serial killer down there.
Shuli said that the one guy Brent talked to hasn't moved yet from the place where the guy was killed.
Howard said that Brent's email was sending out an auto reply about how he was down in Tampa investigating the serial killer. Brent said that was serious. He said all of the guys down there in the neighborhood match the killer's profile. He said there are people who think he's using the sewer system to escape too.
Howard said he has the Tampa serial killer on the phone. Howard took the call and asked for Scott to come back in because this guy is a bore. He said Brent actually found him and interviewed him while he was down there. Then there were guns shots and he said there are so many escape routes that he can get away.
Howard asked Brent if he interrogated any black guys down there. Brent said you can't do that because it's profiling. He said he didn't accuse anyone of a crime. He said he didn't make any citizen's arrests either. Brent said that he told the people down there that they'd make an arrest soon.
Howard said he has George Takei on the phone. He had Sour Shoes on the line doing his George impression. He was talking about the statement he put out. He also sang a song for Howard.
Robin asked where they stayed. JD said they were at an Air BNB with her parents. Howard said that shut Robin up. Robin said it really did.
JD said he gets along well with her parents. Howard said it must be weird for her parents. He said that they can't say anything to him or their daughter about how odd JD is. Robin said they probably wonder if he's on the spectrum. Howard asked if he interviewed anyone about serial killers in Baltimore. JD said he didn't. Howard said he's worried about JD because he told him he only got 2 hours of sleep. He was there all night. Gary said that happens every Sunday night when they have a show on. JD said they had a bunch of shows like Miss Universe and shows like that. Howard asked what he did that he had to be up all night. JD said there's a process there. Robin said he'll see something next week.
Howard said JD went to visit the family. He asked if they had stuffing. JD said it wasn't Stovetop but it wasn't. He said it was close though. JD said he just goes with the flow. Jason asked if he didn't eat like a pig in front of them. JD said he doesn't get into that. He said he told them the food was very good.
JD said they had some very early mornings with the family. He said he had met them before though so this wasn't the first meeting.
Howard said he has to have a talk with JD off the air. He said he has to talk about this 2 hours of sleep thing. JD said it was just a bad night last night. Howard said he's going to talk to him. JD said that's not necessary. He said that things are fine. Ronnie said he thinks he should talk to him. He said he thinks that JD is afraid that he will miss something and Howard will get upset with him.
Howard said a common theme with Autistic people is that they don't break patterns. JD said he is very habitual. Howard asked if he could have autism. JD said he doesn't know. Brent said he could have Aspburger. Howard asked if he's very rigid in his routine. JD said there are some. JD said he can break them here and here. Howard asked if he's superstitious. Shuli said he is. He said he believes in that jinx stuff. JD said that he doesn't really.
Shuli said that JD is terrified of death too. Howard and the guys asked him about dying and why he's so freaked out by it. JD said there are things he's read that really freaked him out. Howard read some notes about autism and said it seems like JD might be Autistic. He said he should call up Triumph the insult comic dog and ask for some of that autism money. Howard said for a guy who is so scared of death he doesn't eat like a guy who is afraid. Howard said he doesn't take care of himself.
Ronnie said he thinks JD should have some drinks at Thanksgiving so he opens up more. JD said he had some wine. He said he has some Jack and Coke and then moves to wine. Howard played a song parody from Daniel Mendelson about JD after that.
Howard asked if this is unrelated to the operation. Erik said it is. He said he went in last night into the ER. He said he wants to come back in so he can see how good he looks. He said they're going to remove his appendix today or tomorrow. Robin said they usually do it right away. Howard said it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Erik said that it's not an appendix, it's an appendicitis. Howard said that means he has to have his appendix removed. Erik said they told him they have to remove his appendicitis. Howard said that's what the appendix is. Howard said when your appendix is fucked up they call it appendicitis. Erik said he didn't know that.
Howard said that the tax payers have put about half a million dollars into Erik so far. Howard said we got nothing in return. Gary said that Erik isn't paying for anything so he just takes all of these tests.
Erik asked if he can come in next week to show how good he looks. He said his face is slimmer and his stomach is smaller. He said he's just been eating soup. Howard asked if he wishes he could eat. Erik said he wishes he could have had all of that stuff at Thanksgiving. Ronnie asked where he was. Erik said he was home. Shuli said he invited him over.
Sal said that they gave him a psychological test and he somehow passed. Howard said he knows Erik is suffering. Howard said they pulled some clips from his YouTube feed and he did look thinner. Shuli said he had lost close to 20 pounds from the week before they weighed him. Howard said you can lose a ton from just cutting out some of the stuff he was eating. Howard said it's water weight. Robin said it's tough on your body.
Howard said this is Erik on his feed and he's so cranky that he's yelling at that Lawyer dude. Erik said he hates him. He said he's been taking advantage of him. Howard said he's the only one putting him in business. Erik said he can't work with him anymore. Shuli said that Vinnie wants him to do some shows on a schedule and Erik is trying to stay on track with his diet and all of that so he doesn't have time for it. Howard said he has to be there to broadcast and he doesn't want to do it. Howard said it sounds like him with this show.
Erik said when Vinnie went on vacation he unplugged all of the cameras in his apartment. Howard said Erik got so pissed he spit on the camera. He said it's gross because so much liquid comes out. Jason said the amount that comes out is so much. Howard said he's spitting in his own apartment. Howard said the Unabomber had more space than Erik does. The Lump said it gives him a soft focus like the Barbara Walters lens.
Robin asked if Erik gets paid for that. Erik said he just got paid once in July or August. He said that was it. Howard said he's spitting in his own apartment. Erik said he knows that. He said now he's doing a show with Gonzo. Howard asked how much he got paid back in August. Erik said it was a hundred something.
Howard said this is Erik spitting at his own camera. Howard played the clip. Howard said this is like Mickey Mouse yelling at Bob Iger. Erik was going off on Vinnie and calling him names before he spit on the camera. Howard said that's the best. Howard said he gets himself into trouble with the law and never learns his lesson.
Howard said don't be fooled into thinking this show is interesting. He said they wait hours for this moment. He said there are billions of other not so interesting moments on the show.
Howard said Erik's diet is turning him into a violent beast. Howard said they need Erik to broadcast but he doesn't want to do it. Howard and Shuli were playing the parts of Vinnie and Erik arguing.
Shuli was doing his impression and telling Howard about the subtleties of the way he talks. He said sometimes he has a dip in the road of talking and his voice goes down and then back up.
Howard said maybe Erik should stay home and recover from all of this. Erik said that's true. Howard said this is Erik on his YouTube channel threatening Vinnie and his family. Howard said Erik is exploding and he's on fire. He said he's not eating and his time is being infringed upon. Howard played another clip of Erik going off on Vinnie and screaming at him about how he doesn't give a fuck. He said he'll stab his whole fucking family.
Howard said his take away from that is that Erik likes his calendar free and clear. Shuli did more of is Erik impression and had the guys cracking up. He was doing an impression of him clearing his throat like he was a car starting.
Howard said he was talking to his brother in laws and they love High Pitch Erik. The Lump said that he's enjoying Vinnie because he's prodding him. Howard said it's like Erik is yelling at himself because you can't hear Vinnie. He said Vinnie doesn't even have to be there. Jason said he's writing messages on the YouTube feed. Shuli said the other day he put a Klan hood on Erik's head. Howard said he must have been pissed about that. Erik said it did. He said Vinnie stresses him out.
Howard asked if Erik is going to go back to Vinnie. Erik said no. Howard said in this clip Erik gets so pissed at Vinnie that he smashes his computer screen. It's his own computer screen. Howard played the clip and Erik smashes his own computer screen and says fuck you to Vinnie. Howard said he's like Gallagher but with computers. Howard asked Erik if he realizes that he broke his own computer. He asked why he even has a hammer. Erik said he hangs stuff up in his room. Shuli said he's ''Blob Vila.''
Howard said that Erik is in the hospital right now and he's awaiting an operation. Howard said he has stuck to his diet and he has dropped weight. Erik said yes. Howard said there you go. Erik said he also stopped the cameras because fans were calling the police to his house. Howard said he saw that. Shuli said that bummed him out. He said 2 days before his surgery they were sending pizza to his house every hour. Howard said that's fucked up. Erik said they called the police and EMS on him.
Howard said he saw an episode where two cops come in and they ask what's going on in there. He said it looks like the Unabomber's place. Howard said there's a Netflix special about that guy and he lived in a shack like Erik's apartment. He said that guy hated any technology. He said Erik is the Unabomber but with no education. Howard said that the cops come in and think something is going on in there. Howard said the cops know it's Erik when he tells them he's on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said it's not cool to send the cops in but it is interesting.
Howard said that Erik had to show all of his meds to the cops. He had to explain what they all were. Shuli was doing his impression of Erik the whole time. He was explaining his meds and giving them all of the names of the stuff he takes.
Howard showed the guys some pictures of what Vinnie put on Erik's screen. The guys were cracking up. Howard said he thinks Vinnie will convince him to come back and do more. Erik said no way. Robin said that he quit Gonzo and he's back with him. Erik said that this is too much stress for him. Howard said so was Gonzo. Shuli asked if things are changing now. Erik said he can take calls, he can handle that. Howard said he can't handle that. Howard said how about not doing a show. Erik said he loves doing the show with Gonzo. Howard said he does not. He said he got stressed out and quit. Erik said no.
Howard said he predicts he's going to quit that show and go back to Vinnie. Erik said that Gonzo is his friend. Gary said he wasn't a couple of weeks ago. Robin said he quit him. Erik said he likes Gonzo.
Howard said when he's feeling better and gets his shit together then he can come in. Erik said that's good enough. Howard said he doesn't want him stressing out and threatening him. Howard said he can't go around threatening people and their baby. Erik said that it's always a joke. He said Vinnie knows that. Shuli said he hopes he does. Howard said it's a joke until it's not a joke.
Gary said Erik has been to court twice about threats and he's still doing it. He asked why. Erik said Vinnie deserved it.
Howard said he has High Pitch Mitch on the phone and he was offered a job by Vinnie. Howard took the call and a guy was doing a High Pitch Erik impression saying that he made 80 bucks in the past half hour. He said he watches gay porn with a klan hood on and that's it. He said he doesn't threaten anyone either. Howard asked Erik if he knows this guy. Erik said no. Howard said he heard he's moving into his building. Erik said he doesn't think so. Howard said he's getting Joey Boots' old place. Shuli said he had a toilet in his apartment but no walls around it.
Howard told Erik to watch out for that guy. Howard said he really has to go. He let Erik go and told him to feel better. Howard said after the break he's going to read some email about the guys on that Thursday show. Howard said the audience likes them in there. Howard said he'll read some of that feedback after the break. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he had a guy on the phone with a test for JD. Howard said there he is. Howard got this guy Craig on the phone. Craig said he did a search for a test for people who are on the spectrum and they have 14 questions. Howard had him ask the questions. Craig said he has to answer true now, true now and when I was younger, true when I was young or never true.
Howard said that they're going to find out if JD is on the spectrum. Craig asked JD the questions which were about all kinds of things. He had one about textures and JD said that he's never had that. Howard said he thinks he has. JD said not that he's aware of. Howard said he's not buying that.
Craig asked a question about it being difficult to function in groups. JD said that's always been true. Craig asked about him trying to figure out what's expected of him. JD said that's true now. Gary said he does tend to over work. JD said he didn't do that when he was younger. Howard said he'd like to go back in a time machine to see.
Craig asked about him not knowing how to act in social situations. JD said that's been that way all his life. Sal said they know JD is a retard and they can move along now.
Craig asked JD about being able to chat and make small talk with people. JD said that's never been true. Craig asked about feeling overwhelmed and going to be alone when he has to shut down. JD said it's not like that now but it's always been true.
Craig asked a few more questions and said it's not looking good for him. Howard said JD has now advanced to the bonus round.
Craig asked JD if he has trouble knowing when to talk or listen. JD said he doesn't come out to talk so he guesses that's always been true. He doesn't know when to talk. Craig asked about covering his ears to block out loud noises. JD said that's never been true.
Craig asked JD about having a hard time reading body language. JD said he's not sure about that. He said he's thinking. Howard said he can't even look at him when he's answering a question. JD said he thinks he's good at that. Howard said he's going to give him an example. Howard said even with the panel in there he's writing notes for the guys and he's not sure why he thinks it's his job. JD said that he thinks it's funnier from someone else. Howard said he's not reading the room. JD said that's always been true then.
Craig asked a question about being detail oriented and not thinking about the big picture. Jason said that JD is like that. JD took an always been true answer on that.
Craig asked about taking things too literally. JD cut him off and said that's always been true. Howard said he doesn't get that they're joking a lot of the time. JD said he does.
Craig asked about him getting upset when things change when he thinks they're going to go a certain way. Gary said he doesn't like change. JD said he prefers to do his laundry on Thursday and he has to move it to Wednesday and that's fine. He said he knows it has to get done. Gary said he'd rather do it on Thursday though. JD said he's going with always been true. Gary said if they switched the days they work he'd freak out. JD said that's true.
Howard said that they're going to take a test to see if Jason is overweight next. Howard asked Craig what the test says. Craig ran down the list of points and said that he got 35 points so he's in the spectrum. Howard asked if they ever tested him for autism in school. JD said he did well in school. Howard said that's fine but maybe he had an issue. JD said he was fine. He said he didn't have notes from teachers about anything but his bad handwriting.
Sal asked if they ever told him not to eat the paste. JD said he never ate the paste. Howard said this is just an internet quiz so it means nothing.
Howard thanked Craig for the call. JD sarcastically thanked him too. Howard sang JD out like Miss America. Then everyone was doing their impressions of JD mumbling and hooting. JD said he sure can read that they're all being assholes in there.
Howard sang another song about JD being super Mr. Autism. JD sighed. Howard said his spoon collection didn't give them any hint at this.
Howard said Manson is dead at the age of 83. He said that he is one of the most well known murderers of all time. He said Trump was jealous of that. Howard said he doesn't have to go into the whole thing.
Brent said that if he had gotten his music career that cult stuff would have gone by the wayside. Howard said who knows. Howard said he read about Manson once holding a razor to a boy's throat and raping him. He said that he spent time in prison for a few crimes. He said Manson went to San Francisco and wrote music with the Beach Boys. Howard said they thought it was kind of decent music. Howard read more about Manson and his life.
Howard said that he's going to give up if Alabama votes for Roy Moore. He said he heard it's dead even right now. Howard said Al Franken better not quit. He said he's not saying what he did is right but this guy Roy Moore is accused of much worse. Gary said the people down there think that he's innocent because he claims he didn't. Howard said Trump is now saying that the Access Hollywood tape isn't real. Jason said he admitted it was him when it came out but now he's back tracking. He said he did confirm it was his voice. The Lump said that even if the pee tape came out now nothing would happen.
Howard said Mason was the baby sitter for Grandpa Al Lewis' kid. Howard said that Al thought he was an okay guy. Howard played a clip of Al talking about that on their show years ago.
Howard said that the Beach Boys recorded one of Manson's songs. Howard played their version of the song. Howard said he hates the Beach Boys. Sal said all of their stuff sounds the same. Howard said they took his song and made it sound like every other song. Howard said he has the original version of Manson's song too. Howard played that. Shuli said he can see Howard waiting to this.
Howard said Mike Love told them about Dennis getting away from Charles Manson at some point. He said he saw Manson shoot a black guy and throw him down a well.
Howard read more about Manson's music and the song ''Helter Skelter.'' Howard played some of that song and found out that it was about an amusement park slide. Robin said she didn't know a slide could inspire a song.
Howard said in 1981 Tom Snyder interviewed Manson. Howard had some audio from that interview. Howard said Geraldo did an interview in 1988 too. Howard said Manson ended up talking gibberish. Howard played some audio from that interview. Fred was playing some drops from the earlier High Pitch Erik call where he was making weird noises.
Howard said Manson died of natural causes. Robin asked JD if that's how he wants to die. JD wasn't talking about that.
Howard read through more email and he had some compliments for Ronnie. He had a bunch of other email he read about the guys doing so well that day. Howard said he has a note saying ''We miss Benjy'' and it was signed ''Benjy.''
Howard wondered if this is killing Benjy that he's not in there. Gary said he's sure it is. Howard asked him to come in. Howard asked Benjy how his Thanksgiving was. Benjy said it was good. Howard said he could have been part of the panel. Benjy said it was killing him that he wasn't part of it. He said he sees how great it is. He said he gets so angry at Howard and jealous of the guys. He said he knows it's silly. Howard said a lot of people said it was good that he wasn't in there because he'd derail a lot of what they were doing. Benjy said he thinks the comments against him are more to just jab at him. He said he doesn't think they're sincere. He said they're true in a way but when they say it's great that he's not there they're not really glad.
Howard read more email about the Thursday show and Gary said he got some feedback from a congressman who was listening that morning. He said he enjoyed the show.
Howard asked Brent if he visited Bubba when he was down in Tampa. Brent said he did text him. Ronnie said he's not surprised. He said he just has a hunch. Howard asked if Bubba is upset that Brent is on this show. Ronnie said he just has a hunch and he doesn't have any evidence of anything. He said every time he asks him about it he just says everything is fine.
Gary said that Brent makes no face at all when Ronnie brings that up. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Howard asked how long Brent was there. Brent said he was there 9 days. Howard said Bubba has his own thing going on down there. Brent said Bubba is in good shape. He said his son is going to be a big NASCAR driver. Ronnie said the kid is good and he's under the umbrella of Tony Stewart. Brent said the kid beats adults who have been racing longer than him. Howard asked if his son is going pro. Ronnie said it's a slippery slope now. He said that sometimes you have to buy your way in. He said it's more businesslike now than it used to be. Brent said it's about the sponsors you can bring to the team.
Howard said Benjy is under his umbrella and look at him. Howard said Bubba shouldn't be jealous of Brent. He has his own thing going on. Jason said he shouldn't be but is he? Brent said he didn't come here until a year after he left Bubba's show. Howard said Bubba was very gracious about having Brent come to work there. Howard said maybe his son doesn't like Brent. Brent said he loves him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that he disrespects everyone. She said fuck you Benjy and cursed him out. Howard tried to get her to stop for a second. Howard asked what's going on between them. Mariann said that this has been going on for years. She said he's very disrespectful to the cast and to Howard. She said that she's not sure how he gets a pass. Howard cut her off and hung up.
Howard said Mariann mentioned the K-Rock days. He said he doesn't keep up with terrestrial radio now. He said that he read a story about how CBS Radio merged with Entercom and he has no idea who they are. Howard said they own a ton of radio stations. Howard said he felt like it was a dead end over there. Howard said now they have this huge radio company and K-Rock is going back to a rock and roll format. Howard said they were rock for like 20 years and when they left they switched format. Jason said they switched 5 formats in 11 years. He said they change the call letters too. He said it's not just the format. Howard said he read a story about the people doing the morning show and how they're gone. Howard said they were called a beloved morning crew but no one there has ever heard of them.
Brent said that they're playing music from the 90s and 2000s. He said that it's softer than Lithium there on Sirius. Brent said he thinks they call it Alt 92.3 now. Howard said that rock has never done well in New York. Brent said he's surprised by that.
Brent asked how the ratings were after Howard was done on the air. Howard said they carried the rest of the day for the station. Howard said they got like a 9 and the station would get a 1 or 2 and they'd average a 3 or 4. He said that they were able to keep that going while he was working there.
Howard said Bubba's son is on the air and he wants to complain about Brent. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing the voice and cursing Brent out like Bubba would do.
Benjy asked if there is any animosity there. Brent said none at all. He asked if Brent would visit him if he was in Tampa for more than 9 days. Brent said sure he would.
Howard kicked Benjy out of the studio after that. Robin said Benjy did that all to himself getting kicked out. Robin said that he was late that one morning after they were going to bring him back in but then he showed up late that morning. Howard said Benjy could have been in there on that Thursday show. He said he didn't follow the instruction for what he had to do and he didn't get in there.
Ronnie said Scott is the one who is really upset about not being there that day. He said he had that emergency and he wasn't able to be part of it. He said he's pissed that he's not part of it today either.
Howard read a few more emails about the Thursday show. Howard said it was a home run and he wants to say that once in a blue moon they'll do this again and bring the panel in. Howard said they'll satisfy the fans with this format. Robin asked how much they cleared from the computer. Howard said almost none at all. Gary said they cleared about 12 percent. Howard said on the days they have a few hours free they'll do this again.
Howard said by the way Richard can't be part of this panel. Sal asked why. Howard said the voices can get confusing with the number of guys they have. He said if they add people to it it's not necessary. Howard said that someone has to be out back working. Howard said Richard wasn't there with the baby so he won't be part of it in the future. Sal said Richard is great on air. Howard said he can walk in once in awhile then. Sal said he'll rotate chairs with him. Howard said that's fine. Robin said Richard didn't even tell Sal about the baby. Sal said he saw some pictures. He said he wasn't even invited over to see the baby but it's only 2 weeks old. Howard said he's shocked by that. Gary said he'd ask to go over. Sal said that it's a newborn so you don't want too many people around. Jason said he's his best friend though. Sal said you can be very protective when you have a newborn. The guys figured something is going on there. Sal said they're very close. He said Richard said the baby is amazing. He said he gets pictures of the baby in pumpkin outfits and stuff. The Lump said a dick in the mouth can really change a relationship.
Howard said he's glad Sal wasn't there. He said it's probe for the best. Howard said they'll do this more often. Howard said they'll try it again sometime. Howard went to break after doing a live commercial read.
Howard said David was on the Partridge Family for those who are too young to remember that. Howard said he never thought Danny Bonaduce would outlive David. Howard played some of the music from the Partridge Family and said they were on for 4 seasons. Howard said they had a hit song called ''I Think I Love You'' and David sang the lead. Howard played some of that.
Howard asked Robin if she beat off to David. Robin said she thought he was gorgeous but she never did that.
Howard said David and Shirley Jones were the only ones who could sing on that show. He said they were professional singers.
Howard said David's step mom in real life was Shirley Jones. Howard played a scene from the show with David.
Howard said he met David in 1991 when he came on the show. Howard said he talked about not making much money from the show. Howard played a clip from that interview with David. David said he was making like $17,500 a week.
Howard said David stepped out of the studio for a minute and Fred said that he thought he was on coke and he told David that on the air and he got really pissed at Fred. He said David flipped out on Fred. Howard played a clip from that moment. Fred apologized to him for saying that off the air. David asked why he thought that. Fred said it doesn't matter. He said he has already apologized.
Howard said it's weird when they pulled the clips he had forgotten about that. He said that was funny. Fred said that was what he remembered when he read the obit. He said David was very energetic that day. He said he was more energetic than most guests. He said he denied it so that was good enough for him. He said he's just like Trump and Roy Moore.
Howard said that it's sad that he's gone at 67. Robin said his daughter has released his last words. Howard asked if it was ''I hate Fred.'' Robin said that was not it. She said he said ''So much wasted time.'' Howard said that's his biggest hang up these days. Howard said if he could have known when he was a young kid what he could have been into. Howard said good for you David Cassidy. Robin said he did waste the time but he regretted it on his way out.
Howard said David had a hit song with ''Breaking Up is Hard to Do'' when he covered that song. Howard played some of that.
Howard said they're going to start the news but he has a phony phone call to play. He wondered if he should do that or not. Howard said he might have time for it. He argued with himself about whether or not to do it. Howard said he's going to play it. He said this is Arnold Schwarzenegger calling an Indian restaurant on Thanksgiving to apologize for the way we treated them. Howard played the call with phony Arnold calling the restaurant and confusing Indians with Native Americans. The guy told him he's not Native American he's Asian Indian. He told him he has the wrong kind of Indian. The guy eventually hung up on Arnold.
Howard said Mad Dog Russo has a show there and he was a big David Cassidy fan. Howard picked up the phone and had Sour Shoes doing his impression of Mad Dog Russo talking about how great David Cassidy was. He said he had his own keyboard and he'd sing their songs. He started to sing some of their stuff and Howard hung up. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard said 2 days ago he weighted himself and he went up. He said he cut back completely. He said he had almost no food and now he's back down to his weight. He said the bad news is that he might pass out. He said maybe that's why he feels weird. Robin said he's taken himself on a roller coaster ride. Howard said his body doesn't like the roller coaster ride. Howard said it's like Robin is in his head with that.
Howard said Robin got some accolades about her music. Howard said she did that gracious interview on Thursday. Howard read some of the feedback they got about her interview. Howard read about the album that Robin did that they played on the show. Howard played some clips from those songs Robin performed. Howard said Marlee Matlin gave it 2 thumbs up.
Howard read more feedback about Robin and Fred played more of her singing. Robin said The Losers never thought of putting her in the front. Howard said they never did. He said she should do something. He said at least a duet.
Howard said he got a lot of email about his Pat Robertson impression. He read through some of that email. Howard said he got a compliment on Ronnie and his clip saying ''Sixty eight!'' instead of sixty nine.
Howard said there's some talk about Robin doing another album. Robin said she may do an album with some original music. Howard said she could do a Christmas song. Robin said she was thinking about a theme album for a rock opera or something. Howard said she should write about what she knows and write about a woman whose breasts grow really big at the age of 9. Howard said it could be Dark Side of the Boob. Howard said he can help her with this.
Howard said there was a Thanksgiving message for Robin from Lenny Dykstra too. He played that for her. Lenny said he wants to fuck Robin like the Pilgrims fucked the Indians. Robin said that didn't go very well. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Robin should write a song about the guys she's dated and broken up with. Robin said guys are so dead to her when they break up. She said one time she was watching the show Girls and this guy looked familiar to her. She said it turned out to be Jim Florentine and she barely recognized him.
Robin read a story about Prince Harry marrying an American actress named Meghan Markle. Howard said he's not sure why this royal family gets so much celebration. He said he's not sure why they get that. Robin said Mozart was talking to some king at some point and he said it's better to be just one Mozart than just one king of many. Robin read through that story and Howard ended up doing an impression of his mother talking about the things that he exaggerates about on the show. Howard spent a few minutes doing the voices of his parents.
Robin read more about the Prince Harry engagement. Howard said he sees those pictures and he gets pissed. Howard said they just go out and have fun. Robin said they are straight jacketed. Howard said so is Fred. Robin said they can't be anything else but the Royal family. Robin said they can't express themselves as they would normally do. Howard said Prince Charles just paints all day. He said he'd love to do that. He said their job is to live in a castle. Robin said they have to meet people and go to parties they don't want to go to. Howard said he wouldn't have to work and he'd be a millionaire. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a genius. He said that he didn't hear that Thursday show yet but marching everyone in and telling them they have to work an extra day now and then is great. Howard said that's right. He got them in there an extra day.
Robin read more about the Prince Harry engagement. Robin said that this Meghan Markle has already had a marriage. Robin said that she's 36 years old. Robin said he's 33. Howard said you don't see that a lot. Robin said they've been dating for over a year. Robin said she's the first American and the first divorcee to join the royal family. She's also not a virgin. Howard said it's weird how people just let these people like Roy Moore stay. Howard said these fucking people in Alabama might elect the guy. Howard said he's accused of a lot of things and he was thrown out of a mall. Robin said they're making that story kind of cloudy now too. Howard said he's not sure what's going on. He said if the Alabamans do the wrong thing he's not sure what he's going to do. Howard said he can't even imagine. Howard said then they're like ''What about Al Franken?'' Howard said fuck you. He said what Al did isn't right but it's not the same.
Robin read about a Virginia youth pastor being accused of murder. Robin said he shot and killed his 58 year old wife and his 30 year old daughter an her boyfriend. Robin said this was on Thanksgiving.
Robin read a story about how George HW Bush is the longest living President. Robin said he's been accused of groping women's asses. Howard said those people in Alabama better do right.
Robin read a story about a massage and said that Howard has gotten upset with Beth getting one from a man. Howard said he got so angry he ran into the bathroom and locked himself in. He said he's so screwed up. Howard said he has friends who are masseurs and they tell him what they do to women. He said that he's not going to let his wife lay on a table with a guy. Robin read about this massage envy place where guys have done lude acts on women there. Howard said Brent should go there and make a citizen's arrest. Howard said he isn't controlling at all but that's the one thing he doesn't want Beth to do. He said she can't have a guy massage her. Robin read more about the Massage Envy story and what the company is saying about the accusations.
Robin read about the Charlie Rose sexual harassment story and Howard said he and Fred knew him from back in the day. Howard said he wants to interview these guys and ask if they ever look in the mirror to see what they look like. He said maybe getting naked to pick them up isn't the right thing to do. Howard said Charlie was a ladies man back in the day. Robin said that he said he thought that he was dealing with a consensual situation. Howard said he thinks Charlie has a new job and he's working at Massage Envy now. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing the part of the gay masseur who massaged Beth. The guy said he's gay but he's gay for pussy. He said he hasn't washed his fingers since that day. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Gene Simmons being banned from FOX News for lude behavior. Robin said he's been charged with making lude statements to employees there. Robin said he had just plugged his new book and he began acting inappropriately. He was yelling at chicks to sue him and exposing his chest. Robin said he joked about pedophelia. Robin said those jokes don't go over very well. Robin said it sounds like a fun interview. Robin said she just ran into him recently and he was darling. Howard said Robin would rip his cock right out if he did something inappropriate. Howard said guys are stupid. He said that's what's behind all of this. He said that Anthony Weiner should have just said he didn't do it. He said he probably could have won. Howard said New Yorkers hold people to certain standards. He said if the Alabama people elect Roy Moore then they should be out of this country. Howard said he's not mad at Roy Moore, he's mad at the people voting for him. Howard said its the same thing for Trump. He said people voted him in. Howard said Ralph would be a terrible president and it's like they voted for him. Howard said Trump was saying crazy stuff about Global Warming being a Chinese conspiracy against us and people still voted for him. Howard said he's not mad at Trump, he's mad at the people who voted for him. Howard said those fucks in Alabama better do the right thing and not vote for Moore. Howard said Roy Moore is ahead in the polls right now. Howard said that's fucked up. Howard said they don't care in Alabama. He said you can't even argue with the logic. He did his southern accent for a couple of minutes. Robin said she has run into some Alabamans and they say they will never return home if they do elect Roy Moore. Howard was still doing the voice and said that real Alabamans don't go to New York. He kept up the Alabaman character for a few more minutes.
Robin read a story about Al Franken going back to work today. Robin said he's anxious to get back to work. Robin said he's asking for an investigation into the claims that two women made against Franken. Robin read some details about those claims. Robin said Al said he never dreamed that his name would be added to the list. Robin said that he apologizes and he's done some dumb things. Howard said there was an Op-Ed in the paper over the weekend and it was written by a woman whose basic premise was that she thought Franken should resign at first but then she thought that things are in degrees and maybe he shouldn't be punished as bad as Harvey Weinstein. Robin said they talked about that on The View too. Howard said its something that women have to have a discussion about. Robin read more about what Franken has been saying about this. Howard said he was heartbroken when he read the Al Franken stuff. Robin said she was too. Robin said she knows Al and she's had fun with him. She said that he did have a huge number of staffers from Saturday Night Live write a letter in support of him saying that stuff like that never happened while he worked there.
Robin read a story about John Conyers stepping down from the House Judiciary Committee after some sexual harassment claims came out against him. Robin read through some details about that and had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin said this has brought up Anita Hill's name lately. Howard said her balls got busted so bad. Howard said she came out and said some stuff happened to her and people were brutal to her. Howard said even women. Robin said it was like no one wanted to hear it. Robin said she was marginalized in that case. Howard said even Monica Lewinsky got the shaft. Howard said everyone blasted her. He said she just blew the President. He said she shouldn't be labeled a whore the rest of her life.
Robin read about how Trump is supporting Roy Moore and saying that he believes him when he says he didn't do it. Howard said it's depressing. He asked what the fuck is happening. Robin said some people are trying to bring people to their senses and say this is about character and not about politics.
Robin read a story about one of her idols dying. Robin said that Della Reese passed away. Robin said she was a singer before she was an actress. Robin said she was on Touched by an Angel. Howard said Robin sounds a lot like her when she sings. Robin had some audio for Howard to play of Della singing.
Robin read about the box office from this past weekend. Robin had some details about that. Robin said she hasn't seen Justice League. Howard said he heard some people complaining about it. He said the whole thing is stupid because Superman doesn't need help. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about the ''Great American Nightmare'' song and how he remembers recording that with Rob Zombie. He said he was an utter failure that day. He said Rob wanted him to sing like him but he can't do that. Howard said he's barely on the track. He said they cut most of his stuff out of the song. Howard said Rob has never asked him to record with him again. He said Rob told him to just do something but he was very uncomfortable in the studio. He said he's not like Robin who just emotes. Howard said he wants to record with no one watching him.
Howard said he went to bed around 8 last night. He said he can't stay awake. He asked if he might be depressed. Robin said he might be. Howard said he does feel depressed. Robin said it's not just a feeling. Howard said he's been trying to push away any feelings he has. He said this is about becoming human and it's very difficult. He said he's not sure how you people do it. Robin said she's not sure that they do have many feelings around that office. Howard asked what else it could be. Robin said there's a chemical imbalance. She said there's also the blues. Howard said maybe that's what he has.
Howard asked Sal and Richard to come in and blow each other to cheer him up. He said Richard is at home actually. He said he has to bond with the kid. Robin said it's better if he doesn't. She said not every father should be that close to the child. Howard said that's right. He said he and his dad weren't very close and he's lucky. Howard said you hang around him and you'll be a mess.
Howard said being the boss around there isn't fun. He said he constantly makes judgments about people being funny or not. Howard said Scott came to him a couple of weeks ago and said he came up with a funny bit. He said it's a good idea and yet he went out and did a man on the street thing and he asked why it's not funny. He said the guys said it's because Scott did it. Howard said he wants Scott to have a success. He roots for the guy.
Howard said Scott's idea was to go down to Chinatown and tell them he married a Chinese woman who doesn't speak any English. Howard said they believe it because he looks like a guy who would do that. Howard said Scott asked them to translate for him. He said he heard this and it was a great idea. He said Scott was coming into his own. He said this is the most work he's done in 10 years. Howard said Scott came back and put it together and ultimately it's not funny. Robin asked what went wrong. Howard said it's Scott.
Howard said he thanks Scott for going out and trying. He said in school they tell you to try and it's great but here you have to be successful. Howard said here's Scott trying. Howard played a clip of Scott asking Chinese people in Chinatown to translate for him. He had clips of a woman saying that her husband smells and that he has sex with a dog and things like that. Scott was doing his fake sad voice in the bit.
Howard said being the boss he has to tell him it's not that funny. Robin said he probably thought he hit a home run. Howard said he actually told Scott it was good out in the hall. He said he did try at least.
Robin said when Scott was in there yesterday he kept bringing up Bailey the Bedbug. Howard said this is 10 times better than that. Howard said this was a funny idea and he went out and did it. Howard said the woman was playing along too. Robin said it was not funny. Howard said he came so close to a home run. Robin said it was like a foul ball. Howard said Scott was going to hand that in no matter how it turned out. Robin said that he also insisted on the Bailey the Bedbug being played. Howard said he even got his own web site for the character. He figured it would be big so he got all the rights.
Howard played some of the awful Bailey the Bedbug bit. Howard said imagine his whole show turned into this and no one listened anymore. Howard said that's Bailey the Bedbug. What a gut buster. He said that's why he's way down on the show. He said he doesn't want to be the one to tell Scott that something isn't good.
Robin said when Scott sees the email he's going to blame Howard for saying it wasn't funny. Robin said they should have played it like they thought it was good. Howard asked where Scott is. He came in a second later.
Howard asked Scott if he thinks it worked. Scott said he does. He said that Howard is the man though. Scott said he was rolling on the floor. He said that's a sight in itself. Howard asked how many he had to interview. Scott said it was 3 or 4. He said it started out as one thing and ended up as another.
Howard asked what's up with his voice. Scott said he just woke up with a frog in his throat. Howard said it takes a while for his voice to come back after all of that vaping. Robin said he's sucking on that nicotine straw all day.
Scott said Howard taught him something. He said try anything and throw it up against the wall. He said if it works then it works. Howard said this didn't work and he still handed it in. Scott said it was close. Robin asked if he'll continue to try. Scott said he will. He said it's too cold to go out now.
Howard did his impression of Scott talking about his bit and throwing it against the wall. Howard said throw it there and not at him. Howard asked if he's going to do a whole series. Scott said if he doesn't like it then he won't. Robin said he should collaborate with someone. Scott said he did but they want to see him go down in flames.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he liked the bit. He said it was good. The guy said he turned down the radio and listened to it like Howard liked it. He said he did like it. Fred said so did Scott's wall.
Howard said he watched a documentary about Jim Carrey and the making of ''Man in the Moon'' and he'd love to see one about Scott and this bit. Scott said it was just him and one other guy. He said the other guys won't tell him if they think the bit is awful. He said they wanted him to go down in flames.
Howard asked if Scott has that Bailey the Bedbug web site. Scott said he never had one. It was just a Twitter account. He said it's @BaileyTheBedbug. He doesn't have the password so he doesn't know how to get back into the account. Howard asked how many followers he has. Gary said it's 2400. Howard said that's the beginning of a business.
The caller said that he thinks he's going to get mixed reviews on that bit. Howard said that would be great. Howard said he's hopeful so he hopes so.
Scott said he tried to reset his password for the Twitter account but they don't think it's his. Howard said that's Scott.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called in about this fucking moron. He said he's just trying to get on the air. He said he has to stay in his office and not come out.
Howard took another call from a big fan of Scott's who thought it was a great bit. It a guy doing his impression of Scott talking about how he could listen to it over and over again. He was vaping just like Scott and talking about his popcorn lung and all of that. The guy said they should put him in the Benjy chair in the studio. Howard played a song parody about Scott after that.
Scott said he's going to compete with Robin's album. Howard didn't understand what he said because he mumbled. Howard said he feels like he's going to have his last breath when he asks him to repeat himself. Howard asked what happens when he talks. Scott said he doesn't feel that way. He said he's just lazy. He said he can talk and not run out of breath. Howard said he's gotten fat. Scott said he knows that. He said he's lost a few pounds though.
Fred said in his Scott voice that he's a perfect sphere. He said he runs out of energy when he talks. He did an impression of that. Scott said he's definitely been unplugged. Robin said he can make it through a sentence if he tries.
Howard asked what he weighs. Scott said he's 240. He said at his lowest he was 195. Howard asked what he's eating. Scott said he doesn't eat lunch. He said he's switched his breakfast to just Cheerios. Howard asked how big it is. Scott said it's like two times the size of a normal one. He said he's back to eating an egg white wrap. Howard heard he had pizza for lunch yesterday. Scott said he did. He said he wasn't on a diet yesterday. He said he gained most of his weight at night. He said he eats dessert. Howard said that's not making him that fat. Scott said he does it before bed.
Howard asked what he's eating for dinner. Scott said he'll have a hamburger or something like that. He said he's eating a lot of fast food too. He said he doesn't usually do that. He said he'll have a burger and fries. Howard asked if he walks on a treadmill or anything. Scott said he doesn't. Howard said he wouldn't gain 45 pounds doing that. Scott said he has coffee and water in the morning. Scott said he's on a lot of medications too so it could be that. He said he's on ''COP meds.'' Howard said he left off the D because he's so out of breath. Howard said that's too much effort.
Howard asked if he's taking the COPD meds and vaping too. Scott said he is but he's cutting back on the nicotine. He said that he's working on that. Howard said he sees free food and he just leaves it. Scott said he tries to do that too.
Howard asked how many meds he's on. Scott said he doesn't want to go there. Scott said he is on an anti depressant. He said it's for something else. Howard asked if he's on Viagra or anything like that. Scott said he's not but he has tried it. He said he's on about 12 meds. Howard asked if he's fucking with him. Scott said no. Howard said that's a lot of meds. Scott said it's annoying.
Howard said High Pitch Erik is on like 20 meds. He said he has to have them in a pill case. Scott said he has one too. He said he lays out the 7 days a week.
Howard asked what the pills are. Scott said he has an enlarged prostate and he has pills for that. He said the side effect is that you don't ejaculate. He said nothing comes out but you feel it. Howard said that's not bad because he'd save on tissues. Scott said he was peeing like 3-4 times a night. He said the PSA test went up and he had a biopsy done. He said he's fine. Howard asked what else he's on. Scott said he's taking aspirin. He had a few for the prostate. He said he has 2 for the COPD. Scott said he's got a whole list in his pharmacy app. Scott said he's also on meds for cholesterol. He said it's Lipitor. Howard asked who he's hiding this from. Scott said he's on blood pressure meds too. Howard asked what his blood pressure is. Scott said he had a blocked artery last year and they want to keep the pressure down. Howard said that's like 8. Scott said he's on Simbalta for depression and for neuropathy. He said he has issues with his legs. Howard said that's not even all of them. Howard asked what's going on over there. Howard said all of the fat dudes have to meet the ghost of fat people future. Howard said Robin had cancer and she's not even on this many drugs. Howard asked what else he has. Scott couldn't remember. Howard said there must be 3 more there. Scott said he takes a stool softener. He said the Simbalta makes him constipated. He said the shit is like rocks. He said he could kill someone with a shit bomb. Howard said that's so gross. He said it comes out normal after the softener. Scott said it still comes out hard. He said it would tear his asshole coming out. He said it was like rocks coming out of there. He said it's fun getting old.
Howard asked if Ronnie knew all of this. Scott said he didn't. Howard said he should have been nicer to him in Florida. Howard said he knew he had the stool softener in his head the whole time and he didn't want to talk about it.
Howard asked Scott about the numbness in his legs. Scott said he can't run because he has arthritis in his legs. Scott came up with a few more things he has to take. He said it was up to 13 meds. He has a nasal spray he uses at night. Howard said he has one he's not telling them. Scott said it's Klonopin to help him sleep at night. Howard said that's an antidepressant too. Scott said it's a low dose. Robin said he has the same bed stand as High Pitch Erik. Scott said that's more depressing.
Howard took a call from fake High Pitch Erik who was saying Scott should try a new medication called jumping in front of a train. Howard hung up on fake Erik.
Robin asked when this all started. Scott said about 5 years ago the stenosis started. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Scott talking about getting old and taking all of this stuff. Robin said all he has to do to make them laugh is tell them all of this stuff. She told him to forget the man on the street stuff.
Howard asked if Ronnie has to take all of this stuff. Scott said he doesn't think so. Howard asked Ronnie if he knew all of this. Ronnie came in and said he had no idea. He said he just knew he looks like shit. He asked if Scott is okay today. Scott said he's good. Howard asked what he's spending a month on the meds. Scott said he has good insurance there.
Ronnie said he didn't know about this. He said he takes Lipitor and a bunch of natural stuff like fish oil. He said he takes a multi-vitamin too. Howard said Ronnie was goofing on Scott yesterday. Ronnie apologized to him after hearing all of this. He said Scott wouldn't talk to him yesterday. He said after they got out of there he didn't talk to him. He said he got all pissed off. Ronnie said he tried to call Scott about a guest they had on the Wrap Up Show. He said she wanted to meet Scott. Scott said his phone is off while he's working. Ronnie said he had his headphones on and he didn't hear it. He said he called his Sirius phone and he answered. He said then he came down and met this Shannon and he was all happy about that.
Howard said he didn't know he was on all of those meds. Howard asked if he takes 6 in the morning and 6 at night. Scott said that's pretty much how it works out. Howard asked how he knows when to take them. Scott said some are in the morning. Howard asked if Ronnie knew he had hard shits. Ronnie said he didn't. He said that's why he didn't want to walk down in Florida. He said they stayed local and ate a shit turkey sandwich instead.
Scott said he was going once every 2 weeks before he was taking the stool softener. He said he would bleed when he shit. He said now he goes like twice a week. Howard said it must be huge. Scott said it's not. Ronnie asked if it's like pellets. Scott said it is.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks about this. Fred said that's a lot of meds. Howard said he's cut out the knee stuff and just hack through it. He said he's on too many meds. Howard said he's on three antidepressants. Scott said they're not for that though. Ronnie said he had arthritis and he was getting shots for it instead of taking medication for it. He said it's a natural thing and not a medication. Ronnie said they call it a WD-40 for you. He said it's made out of some chicken shit. He said that he gets it once a year and he can walk no problem.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he wants to shoot himself after hearing this. He said it's so depressing. Ralph asked why he doesn't do something to diet and exercise or something. Robin said they do say that exercise helps with arthritis. Robin said he's not doing it because of the arthritis. Scott said he does walk. Howard said he walks to eat some bad food.
Howard said all of those antidepressants and he's still depressed. Scott said he's not. He said he's not on those for depression. Ralph said Klonopin is a horse tranquilizer. Howard said they take that when you go on a flight you don't want to take. Howard said if he has a bad knee he should try the stuff Ronnie has tried. Ronnie said he goes once a year and that's it. Howard said he knows the stuff Ronnie is talking about. He said it's from a chicken head or something.
Ralph said he should change his life and do something about it. Howard said he's right. Robin said most people who are miserable take medication.
Howard asked Scott about the pill case and how that works. Scott explained how it's split in 7 slots so he can put his meds for each day in there. Howard asked him to take a picture of that for the web site.
Howard said his theory is that Scott is so neglected that he has people to care for him. He said that his mother was mean to him but the doctors are nice. Ronnie said he has doctors who are friends. He said he called someone when they were on their trip. Scott said he has a friend who is a urologist. He said he's been friends since they were very young. He said he called him on the trip. Ralph asked why he had to call him. Howard and Fred answered for him in their Scott voices. Scott said he had to call the guy for something else that wasn't a medical reason.
Ronnie asked about the cumming without the load. Scott said it feels exactly the same but nothing comes out. Fred said it's like a puff of smoke. Scott said it's as dry as a bone. Howard played a song parody that Scott sang about himself.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to be a doctor. He said he should be taking that stuff with Drain-o instead of water. He said he should take it with 9mm delivered by mouth by Smith & Wesson. Howard let that guy go after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a probation officer. She said that the jails are giving out Klonopin like candy lately. Howard asked Robin if she took any drugs that dried up her shit. Howard was doing his Scott voice asking about that.
Howard said he had no idea any of this was going on. Ronnie said he didn't know about this either. Howard asked if he saw his suitcase full of meds. Scott said he had a little carry on. Howard asked if he had a big bag that he had to get checked. Ronnie said it was a small one.
Howard said Klonopin can cause side effects of suicidal thoughts. Scott said no wonder... Ronnie said now he knows why he wasn't drinking. Scott said he had one drink. Howard said Jimi Hendrix had less shit in him when he died. Howard said it's like the 50th anniversary of his death or something. He said he was going to do a tribute to him for his 75th birthday. Ronnie said it was yesterday that he would have been 75.
Howard said they should have Scott shit and put it in a box. Howard asked when he last shit. Scott said it was 2 days ago. Scott said he shit in Florida once. Howard said maybe the travel caused it to come out.
Howard asked if he can lube up his asshole to get the shit out. Scott said he never thought of that. Howard said some women rub lube on their pussy before they have sex. He said he should do the same for his asshole. Ronnie said they have K-Y for men. Howard asked why men would need that. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he has some that came in a kit. Robin asked what he uses it for. Ronnie said he uses it for a hand job. He said they have the heated stuff too. He said the friction makes it hot.
Howard said he feels good after this. He said he was depressed earlier. Ronnie said he got a call about life insurance when he was down in Florida. He said he got a preferred plus rating and he told Scott about that. He said Scott said he can't get life insurance. Scot said he has life insurance. Howard said he can't get a new policy though. Ronnie said he thinks he told him about the stuff not coming out when he cums. He said he didn't know about all of this other shit. Howard said he makes him feel like he's 9 years old compared to him.
Howard said he has another doctor on the phone. He took the call and the guy said that he's having a retrograde ejaculation and it goes into his bladder instead of coming out. Ronnie asked if he's pissing it out. The caller said he is. He said that the piss will be full of sperm cells. He said there's no other place it could be going. Howard asked if Scott sees it in his pee. Scott said no. He said it looks like piss to him.
Howard said the Colorado shooter was on Klonopin. The caller said that it's related to valium. Howard said Scott is taking it for his neuropathy. The caller said Simbalta is the drug of choice for that.
Howard asked if Scott is really depressed. The caller said it sounds that way. Ronnie said he spent 3 days with him in Florida so he knows he is. Scott said that Ronnie knows the other side of the story but he can't get into it. Scott said he enjoyed Florida very much. Ronnie said he's inviting him to Daytona in February. Howard said he told him he wasn't going to invite him. Ronnie said he feels bad for Scott. He said he can't get into why but he's bringing him.
Howard asked if the caller thinks that Scott's days are numbered. The caller said he could get into it about the meds and stuff. Howard thanked him for the call before they got into it.
Howard said yesterday Ronnie said he wasn't taking Scott with him. Ronnie said if you go in a group you can deflect to other people. He said Scott doesn't need him. He said he can do his own thing.
Howard said he got an ear full yesterday in the car. Howard asked if Scott appreciates Ronnie's pity at all. Scott said no and fuck him. He said he doesn't want anything done for him because of pity. Howard asked if there's anything he can do to be more fun. Ronnie said just hang. He said he understands it now though. He said he can't drink because he's on all these meds. Howard said he must have to shit bad when he doesn't go for days. Scott said it's a normal feeling. He said not a lot comes out. Howard said he must have 10 pounds of shit in him. Scott said he's full of shit.
Howard asked if his ass bleeds when he shits. Scott said he told him earlier he does. He said you wipe and you see blood. He said it's ripping open your asshole.
Ronnie said they have a cat who can't shit. He said they just put Malox in the food. He asked Scott why he doesn't do that. Scott said he does take stuff. Robin asked if the doctor is okay with him not shitting every day. Scott said he was taking generic Simbalta and it got better when he took the real stuff. Howard said maybe he should shit through his bladder like he cums.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that 50 percent of her says that Scott is a never ending source of joy with his misery. She said she got on the wagon to lose weight last year and she felt better. Howard said Scott has done that. He said he has lost weight before.
Howard took a call from guy who said they're being rough on Scott. He said he has to take a bunch of meds himself because he has MS. Scot said he thought it was ridiculous taking all of these meds. He said that he'd rather not be on all these meds. Scott said he's gained weight and he hasn't taken care of himself. He said when he did lose weight he was going to the gym and he was feeling good. Howard said that's back when he was shitting normal.
Howard asked if there's a med you can take that will help you stop taking meds. Scott chuckled. Howard said he should do what he thinks he has to do. Scott said he does the elliptical machine. Howard said how about swimming. Ronnie said he needs something he can do in his house. Scott said he doesn't have to find a bathroom anywhere. He said he never has to go. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Scott and goofed on him more about that. Howard said he could have a treadmill in his house. Ronnie said he has to have something in the house. Howard said he can get the elliptical. Scott said he can't run. He said he has to walk.
Howard said Scott used to shit like a human being. He asked if he jerks off. Scott said he does. He said he does that twice a week or so. Ronnie asked what he jerks off to. Scott said it's lesbian porn.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's listening to his list of meds and if he did some exercise it would take care of the need for stool softeners. She said that the motion of walking helps with the joint lubrication too. She said it would help with depression too. Howard said of course. Howard said come on man. He said make this the first day of the rest of your life.
Howard said even Jeff the Drunk can cum when he jerks off. He said he has a clip of him doing that on Periscope. Howard had Jeff on the phone and asked if stuff comes out when he cums. Jeff said oh yeah. He said it's like milking a cow. Howard said Jeff quit smoking too. Jeff said he did. He said he's on 4 pills every morning. Howard said Scott is on like 15. Howard said that's no joke.
Howard said he's going to play the clip of Jeff jerking off on Periscope after the break. Howard said he can be Scott's life coach. Jeff said he'll do that. Howard said he has to take a break. He went to break after playing another Scott song parody.
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Jeff said he has seen that they are women. Howard said he knows there are guys on the other end. Howard said here is a woman on the phone who claims she's from France and he jerks off to her. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were doing a woman's voice and then changing to a man's voice.
Howard asked Shuli what's going on here. Shuli said he has interviewed people from his past who Jeff thought were chicks and it was a dude. He said they'd use pictures of their family for the girl. Jeff said they're all women. Shuli said they're all text messages. He said they're all words and no pictures. Jeff insisted they are women. He said he's going to send them some stuff.
Howard said this is tape of Jeff jerking off on Periscope. Shuli said he got a message from Jeff and he didn't make it out. He said he wanted to get some audio and he didn't know it was video of him jerking off. He said he wanted to throw his phone out. He said you see the cum shot and everything.
Howard played the clip and Jeff was wheezing while he was doing this. He was talking dirty to this person and wheezing while he was breathing heavy. Howard said he can't understand what he's saying. Jeff was talking dirty. Robin said they can't tell though. Jeff was counting the number of times he was cumming. Howard said Shuli saw this. Howard said Harvey Weinstein called and said this was gross.
Howard said you know this is a dude. Jeff said it's not. He said he scoped this woman in France and she loved it. Jeff said that he sent it to her and she saw it and then he scoped her and she answered right away. He said she saw it and said she wanted to see more. Howard said imagine he put this energy into a job.
Howard took a call from The Lump who said that he can't believe he's doing gay porn now. Howard said he might have to watch this. Shuli said it's so brutal. Jeff asked Howard to please watch it. Howard said he wants to see just a little bit of it. Howard asked Shuli if he ever shows this to people accidentally. He said a woman's life has to be really dark if they're watching this stuff. Jeff said that it's a woman. Howard said it's guys goofing on him. Jeff said that he sent Shuli the periscope of the woman typing to him. Shuli said anyone can type. Jeff said that it's not a guy. He said that she sent him pictures and she sends them all the time. Howard said that doesn't mean anything. Howard said he's an idiot. Jeff said he has her number. Jeff said he's jerking off to a girl. Howard said he has a phone number to a dude. Howard said trust him, it's a guy.
Howard said women are grossed out by a penis on a good looking guy never mind on Jeff. Howard said Shuli is going to show him the video now. Howard took a look for about 5 seconds and said get him a vomit bucket. Howard said he's a maniac. Robin saw it too. Jeff said he has at least 9 and a half inches. Robin said that no woman wants to see that. Jeff said they do.
Howard said he wishes that they could get the guys to just admit that they're guys. Howard asked if Robin got turned on by that. Robin said she did and she has to leave work because of it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she doesn't want to see that or even hear it. She said she vomited in her mouth. Jeff said she needs a cock in her mouth. He told her to shut up. The caller said just let Jeff believe that it's a woman. Jeff said they are women. Howard said there isn't one woman watching him jerk off. Jeff said he swears they are women. Howard said it's all dudes. He said women don't want to see you jerk off. Jeff said they do. Howard said this is what Harvey Weinstein's trial is going to sound like.
Howard said he has to go. He let the caller go and said goodbye to Jeff but then he took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann said that Jeff was telling her about this and maybe he should get into porn. Howard hung up on her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wants him to jack off for him and he believes him every time he signs into a new account. Howard said a lot of men want to see him jerk off. Shuli said he loves Jeff's logic about getting her number. Shuli said give him her number and he'll find out. Howard said give Shuli all of the numbers and they'll get to the bottom of this. Howard said he has to take a break. He told Fred to get him to a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard said Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones is getting annoyed with fans who are obsessed with nudity on the show. Howard said just be happy fans want to talk about her. Robin asked where her agent is. Howard said he'll get him. He went into his agent voice which he does for Millie Bobby Brown as well. The Agent was talking about that and then Robin got into it with the Stranger Things talk and said that she was really good in the second season. Robin said she was harsh on the first season but the second season was great.
The Agent was talking about Millie Bobby Brown and about Emilia Clarke. He was talking about how she should just be happy that people want to see her.
Howard said there's a story in the paper about a head transplant being imminent in Italy. Howard said he wants that. Robin said there was someone who said they hope she lives 100 more years. Robin said that would be horrible but they told her that maybe head transplants will be possible. Howard said the head transplant thing might happen in China. Howard said he's suspicious of doctors from other countries. Howard said they come to this country and then end up driving for Uber. Howard said if an American doctor moved to Europe he's sure they could be a doctor. Howard said these guys move here and they can't be doctors. Howard said they end up driving a cab.
Howard said there was a big article in the paper about Brent trying to solve the serial killer thing down in Tampa. Howard read some of the article about Brent.
Howard said that AC/DC came on the show and Malcolm was on the show with them. He said he was a man of few words but Malcolm died. Howard said the whole band is tiny. He said he worked with them. He said they were like magical leprechauns. Howard asked if Robin could bang a guy like that. Robin said it would be like being with a child. Howard said Malcolm passed away at 64. Robin said he was suffering from dementia. Howard said Angus is only 5'2'' tall. Howard said Malcolm was 5'3'' so he was the tall one. Howard said Malcolm wrote all of their biggest hits. Howard played some ''Dirty Deeds'' and talked about how he sang back up on ''Highway to Hell.'' He played some of that too.
Howard said it's so sad to see these guys going. Howard said you think of them being young. Howard said Malcolm didn't care about being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard had a clip of him saying he doesn't give a fuck about it when they were in the studio many years ago. Howard said they did an acoustic thing with Brian Johnson. Howard played some of that too. Howard said that was a fun morning.
Howard said Malcolm noticed his dementia symptoms in 2008. Howard said things were off. He said his last show with AC/DC was in 2010. Howard said the guys talked about that in 2014 when they were in the studio. Howard played some of that interview where Brian talked about Malcolm's dementia. Howard said Angus is the only original member in the band now.
Howard played a song parody to the tune of ''Back in Black'' with Gary's phlegm and throat clearing. Howard said he gets into some riffs in this. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that's Ozzy singing. Fred said it is. Howard said he loves Ozzy. He said he likes Robin singing with Ozzy too. He said it adds to it.
Howard said Kevin Nealon is there. He said he's a good friend of the show. He said Kevin was on Saturday Night Live and he became a fan of his there. He said he was thinking about Kevin the other day. He said it kind of sucked when he took over the news from Dennis Miller. Howard said it has to be tough taking over for a guy that good. Kevin said it sucks because Dennis was really good. He said Norm MacDonald had to follow him. Howard said no one can handle that.
Kevin told Howard he looks good. Howard said he doesn't feel good. Kevin asked when he's going to come in and get a different reaction. Howard said he watches Kevin on Twitter. He said he likes what he's doing on there. He said he does like 2 minute long interviews on Twitter. Kevin said on Instagram they're about a minute. On Twitter they're 2.5 minutes. Kevin said he has a selfie stick that he puts his phone on. He said he started it with Matthew Modine. Howard asked if celebrities ever do anything not for attention. Kevin said it was about getting away and talking about real things. He said then it turned into this.
Howard asked if he's good friends with Modine. Kevin said he's known him since Saturday Night Live. He said he called him and said he thought it would be funny if they did an interview and they were so out of breath that you couldn't understand what they were saying. He said they did that. He said then he asked Matthew about turning down roles that he regretted. He said he turned down Back to the Future and a bunch of other things. He said he's doing fine now though. He said he's on Stranger Things.
Kevin said that they started on Twitter and now it's on YouTube. He said he has a 15 minute version on YouTube. Howard asked how he doesn't know that. He didn't know it was on YouTube. Howard said he thought it was short form and he should do it long form. Howard said he saw the Howie Mandel interview and that was fun. Kevin said he talked about Howard in that one. Howard said he didn't know that. He said it must be in the long form. Kevin said it was in one of the short ones.
Howard said Kevin has had Adam Sandler and he learned that he has trouble crying on camera. Kevin said he had to do that for a McDonald's commercial he did and he had just broken up with his girlfriend. He said he went into the audition and he was so upset about this girl that he broke down crying. He said they all felt so bad for him. Howard asked what would call for him to cry in a commercial. Kevin said he's not sure but he got a callback for it. He said he was over the girl by then and he went in and wasn't able to cry. He said he didn't get it.
Howard said he loves that Kevin has said that if you get into acting the whole job is auditioning. He said everyone hates auditioning. Howard said that Kevin says that you have to do that because it's the job. Howard said Kevin said you have to accept that. Kevin said that's the job. Howard said it's like saying you're a doctor and you don't want to see blood.
Kevin said he's good at the small talk. He said he wants people to like him and forgive him for the read. Kevin said when he first started auditioning he'd recommend other people for the part. He said he knew it was bad.
Howard asked if he was ever taught how to audition. Kevin said he wanted to be a stand up comic and he had someone tell him he should think about acting. He said that he started taking acting classes after that. Howard said you're always learning. He said he's good at that. Howard asked where he learned that. Kevin said that he leaned it from Howard. Howard said he heard that Kevin was playing guitar in the green room and he's pretty fucking good. Kevin said he's good. He said he's been playing since he was 10. He said he can learn a song and recreate it but not make something up on his own.
Howard said Kevin said that Phil Hartman was a guy who wanted to learn how to do stuff all the time. Kevin said he was always learning to do new stuff. He said it was great too. He said he was the old man there at the time but now he looks back and he looks so young.
Kevin said he has a piano in the house and he wanted to learn to play it. He said no one was taking lessons so he tried it to get people interested in the house. Howard said his wife wants to get one for the house but no one plays. Howard asked why they'd have one. Kevin said that he could have one for someone like Elton John to play. Howard said they did have Billy Joel come to the house. Howard said they rented it for the night. He said they pretended it was always there. He said Billy said he didn't member seeing it. He said they told him they've always had it. Howard said Robin was there that night. Kevin said he didn't know he played. Howard said Billy played that night. He said it took a while. Howard said Jimmy Fallon was singing oldies and Billy got on the piano. Kevin said Howard has great parties. Howard said this was the only great one. He said that Jimmy was singing and then Billy went over and played. He said that he went over reluctantly.
Howard said Kevin took lessons. Kevin said that his son's friend is taking lessons and he got a hold of that guy and took lessons from him. He said that he used to take lessons from older people but now he's an older guy and this is like a kid teaching him. He said he was able to tell the kid when he was done for the day.
Howard asked if it works when you can tell the guy to fuck off. Kevin said it's hard. Howard asked if he is learning the piano. Kevin said he is. Howard said Robin says it's impossible to learn. Kevin said it's hard. He said people do ask why he's learning now. He said he's going to be dead soon and he's learning to play piano. Kevin said he doesn't plan on dying soon. He said he has a piano so he wanted to learn.
Howard said three years ago he couldn't draw a line. He said now he can draw because he decided to learn. Howard said if you bother to learn it's kind of enjoyable. Kevin said when he was 50 he wanted to learn to be a director. He said he thought he was too old. Robin said it's not far fetched to learn that. Kevin said if he had done that he could have been 14 years into it by now.
Howard asked how many songs he can play on the piano. Kevin said it's 3 songs. Howard asked about learning Spanish too. Kevin said he's learning Mexican Spanish. He said they are near Mexico where he lives in California. Kevin said he's learning to make sure people around him aren't talking shit about him. Howard said he likes that about one of his daughters who is fluent in Spanish. He said he walks around with her and she tells him what people are talking about.
Howard asked Kevin about living in Germany with his family. Kevin said he learned to swim in Greece and ski in the Alps. He said he was very lucky. Howard said it's possible to be funny and still have a decent childhood. Kevin said his parents are still together and they've been together for 70 years.
Howard said his dad isn't the same guy he was. He said his dad is a little less angry. He said that his parents have been married 70 years and his dad said ''70 and a half.'' Howard said it's not a prison sentence. Howard asked if he worries about his parents with one dying at some point. Kevin said they do need a lot of help. He said his son is 10 and he went down there to visit. He said he was trying to keep him off the video games and his parents off the respirators. He said his son was in the bedroom and he was sad looking. He said his son told him that he's 63 and when he's 20 he's going to be 73. He said he was going up and up. Kevin said that he told him he won't be around for a lot of his life. He said he told him he'll be around but it's his mother he has to worry about.
Howard said he wants to talk more about this hiking show. Howard asked if he thinks it could become bigger. Kevin said he is talking to some people about making it bigger. Howard asked where he hikes. Kevin said in different places. He said he likes the selfie stick thing. Howard said he is directing. Kevin said he is good with the selfie stick. He said he does all kinds of moves with the stick.
Howard asked who was in the worst shape on the hikes. Kevin said he might be the one. He said he gets out of breath a lot. Howard said they're about the same age and he loses energy quickly. Kevin said he thinks that Bobcat Goldthwait was great on the show. Howard said he thinks Bob doesn't like him. He said he used to do a lot of stand up. Kevin said he's still doing that. He said Bob didn't wanted to do the hills in the hike. He wanted to walk on the flat part. Kevin said he finds it interesting what people wear on the hike. He said that Howie went out and bought hiking clothes. He said Dana Carvey showed up looking like a bee keeper. Howard said Howie cares about how he looks. He said he put a lot of effort into his look on America's Got Talent.
Howard said he finds it cool when people don't care what they wear. Kevin said Bella Thorne came with a sweater over her bikini. He said she's 20. Howard asked if he books the guests. Kevin said he does. He said Bella he knows from doing a movie called Blended. He said he met her on the set and he knows she's popular on social media. He said she showed up with a sweater on. Robin asked if he knew she had a bikini on. Kevin said he didn't. He said they were 5 minutes into the hike and she took the sweater off. He said that she was great. Howard said you have to be careful with all of that stuff now. Kevin said he asked how it was with the Paparazzi and she said it's tough to get away from them. He said they went back to the parking lot and the next day there were shots of them in the paper. Howard said he thought he was having an affair when he saw them.
Howard said that women are thinking about taking their sweaters off for Kevin. Kevin said his wife actually puts more on as they hike.
Howard said booking people for a show is tough. Howard asked if people stop taking his calls. Kevin said he's not sure. He said he has had people turn down the show. He said Steve Martin turned it down. He said that Sarah Silverman turned it down too. He said she's too busy with her show. Howard asked about Steve Martin and how he met him. Kevin said he met him on a movie he did before Saturday Night Live. He said that he had lunch with Steve and told him about this show he's doing. He said Steve thought it was a good idea but he wanted to do it on flat land. He said he emailed him the other day but he's busy so he wasn't able to do it. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel asked him to do his show and told him he can say no. Howard said he can't say no to Jimmy. He said good or Kevin trying to get Steve on his show.
Kevin said he has hung out with Steve on St. Barts. He said that was back in the 80s. Kevin said that Lorne Michaels was there and so was Tom Hanks. He said that you go out body surfing with these people. He said they all fly back together on the same plane. He said he was standing there with Steve Martin waiting for a cab. Howard said now he's on the A-list. Kevin said Steve came over to him and said that just because they hung out for a few days doesn't mean they're going to be friends. He said he didn't see Steve for like 2 years after that. Howard said Steve was probably just starting to play banjo back then. Kevin said he's been playing since the 70s. Howard said Kevin plays banjo too. Kevin said he does but he hasn't played with Steve.
Howard asked Kevin how great the movie Roxanne was. Kevin said it was. Howard said he should go back and watch it. Kevin said his son is at the age that he should watch them with him. He said he has like 4 pages of notes of TV shows and movies that he has to watch. He said that he has so many things to watch. He said they shot Roxanne in a nice little town in British Columbia. He said that it was magical. He said the local fire department was part of the movie and they were going to do a special to raise money for them. He said Steve got wind of it and wanted to host it. He said they didn't want it advertised. He said there were lines wrapped around the building when they did it. He said it got leaked.
Kevin said that Mick Jagger is on Twitter and he posts where he's at all the time. He said he's not sure why he'd do that. Howard said he sees a lot of updates on Facebook about that but he thinks it's some PR person doing it.
Howard asked Kevin about meeting Andy Kaufman. Kevin said he met him doing stand up. Howard asked if Andy was a big name at the time. Kevin said he was. He said that Robin Williams would come in it was huge. Howard said Andy must have been hit or miss. Kevin said whatever it was Andy loved it. He didn't care either way. Howard said he had the bravery to do things. Kevin said he did. He said that Letterman said he wanted all of the bad mail sent to him. He said that's what Andy was like too. He said he liked to push people. He said they would get angry and then get back to laughing again. Kevin said that he didn't get into the wrestling stuff but the stand up was great. He said he kind of lost him with the wrestling.
Kevin said when Andy lost his hair from the Chemo he had a Mohawk thing he'd glue on. Howard asked if he thinks he knew he was dying. Kevin said he did. He said he did talk to him about Transcendental Meditation though. He said he saw Andy there in front of the club one night. He said he knew he loved Transcendental Meditation so he asked him about that. Kevin said you have to ask the right question and you get a person to talk. He said Andy talked to him about Transcendental Meditation for a half hour. He said he was standing there not listening to him. He said he was just looking at his face and the moles.
Howard said his mom turned him on to Transcendental Meditation and when someone asks him about it he feels he has to stand there and talk about it. He said he now realizes that they're probably playing him like Kevin did with Andy.
Howard said he did the same thing with Michael Jackson when he had a meeting with him. He said he was as weird as can be. He said he asked him about Deepak Chopra and he got Michael to react. Kevin said he had the same situation with Barack Obama. He said he was walking down the street and he was a senator at the time. He said he had done this big speech. He said he heard someone yelling his name out and the guy offered to buy him a beer. He said he was in the mood for a beer. He said he went and had the beer and the guy invited him to meet Obama. He said they were clearing out at the end of the night and they went in and there were maybe 10 people left. He figured it wasn't going to happen. He said Barack comes in and he introduces him to him. He said he had nothing to say to the guy for 10-15 minutes. He said he just didn't know what to say. He said he was told that Barack didn't know what to say to him because he was like ''Holy shit it's Kevin Nealon.''
Kevin said he did a golf tournament and this big investment firm sponsor it. He said he was told to stick around after it. He said they had a big guest coming. He said that Bill Clinton shows up. He said he stuck around and said hello to a bunch of people. He said he waited for the recognition and he didn't get anything from him. He said he looks a lot older now so maybe he forgot who he is.
Howard asked about the hiking show again and if the biggest one was the Conan O'Brien show. Kevin said it was. He said Conan has a big social media machine behind him. He said he's going to do a few interviews with him. Howard said that show got the most views. Kevin said he did.
Howard asked if Kevin has reached out to the big people like Oprah and people like that. Kevin said he has Judd Apatow coming up this week. He said he might ask Ellen before he asks Oprah. Howard said he can't tell Ellen that she's a stepping stone.
Howard asked if he will hike with Harvey Weinstein or Charlie Rose. Kevin said he may have to join up with them while they're wandering into the woods.
Howard asked Kevin to tell the story about how he got invited to Billy Connelly's castle. Kevin said it's kind of a castle. Howard said he was there for a week. Howard said maybe he should invite him there for a week. Howard asked if he's fun. Kevin said he's a good co-host at a party. He said he keeps the conversation going and makes sure people have drinks.
Howard said that they had some crowd at Billy's house. Kevin said they had something going on every day there. He said they'd have a scavenger hunt one day. Howard said that's crazy. Kevin said one night they had a theme of mystery night. He said there were petals everywhere and everyone had to toast them. He said they had these big stars toasting them there. Howard said that's something else. Kevin said it was fun.
Howard asked how he did on the scavenger hunt. Kevin said he's not good with games like that. He said he's not that excited to find things. Howard asked if Sean Connery was there too. Kevin said he was not on the treasure hunt.
Howard said they should announce that Kevin loves him and that's why he's there. Kevin said they could be friends. Howard said he's too busy for that. Howard said Kevin is on Man with a Plan on CBS on Monday nights. Howard said it's in the second season and Matt LeBlanc is on it. Howard said when he got that role on the show that's the holy grail. Kevin said that this job Howard has is the ''ka ching'' show. He said his show is more of a ''Ka chong.''
Howard said the premise of the show is that Matt LeBlanc is a dad and Kevin is his brother. Kevin said it's so fun to work with Matt. He said he knows so much about sitcoms. He said that he can get unlimited laughs out of any joke or a facial movement. Howard said they got a full season pick up too. Howard said that's great.
Howard said he got invited to a party and he didn't want to be at the mercy of someone else. Howard said he wants to go dinner when he wants to go to diner and not be at the mercy of anyone. Kevin said ''And yet you got married.'' Howard said he doesn't feel trapped in that.
Howard asked Kevin about getting the job on ''Man with a Plan'' he did a ''chemistry read'' which s really an audition. Kevin said that it is. He said that it's to see if the star gets along with you. He said that it's a nice way of saying it's an audition.
Kevin said he was coming from the dentist one day and the whole side of his face was numb. He said he had to go to the chemistry read and he had a half hour to get there. He said it would take a couple of hours for the Novocaine to wear off. He said he goes into the room and Matt LeBlanc comes in and asks if he wants to read some lines. Kevin said his whole face was numb and he did the lines. He said that Matt told him later that he went in and said he may have had a stroke not knowing he had this work done.
Howard gave Kevin some plugs for ''Man with a Plan'' and for his stand up gigs. Howard said Kevin is amping up big time. He said he's doing stand up at Caroline's this weekend Thursday through Sunday. Kevin said he learned a lot from Garry Shandling when he was around. He said that he taught him a lot about how to bring new material into the act and things like that.
Howard asked if he gets Oprah on the hiking show if he'll ask her to get into a bikini. Kevin laughed.
Howard asked Kevin about a play list they got from him of his favorite songs. He had a few of the songs to play. He had a Julia Michaels song and a Michael Jackson son. Howard said he also has this. He played a Led Zeppelin song. Howard said Kevin picked James Taylor's walking man as one of his top songs. Howard said his list may not be that great. Kevin said he knew this would happen. He said he was honest and Howard is making fun of him.
Howard said he's got some embarrassing songs too. He said that he likes Justin Bieber. Kevin said some of the songs are just things that bring back memories for him. Howard played a song from his list and Kevin said he remembers listening to that while cruising around with his friend in his car. Howard said Kevin likes Elton John's ''Tiny Dancer'' and that's just not for him. Howard said he's being honest about his selection. Kevin said he could come up with a complete new list if he sat down now.
Howard gave Kevin another plug for the show ''Man with a Plan'' and asked if he knows Les Moonves. Kevin said he was a bartender with Les. He said he thinks he did just a little bit better than Les. Howard asked if he had any inclination that greatness was going to happen. Kevin said he worked in a club with him and Les worked in the back. He said he was a hard worker and very dedicated. He said he knew exactly what should be done and when it had to be done. Howard asked if he ever sleeps in his guest house. Kevin said he does. Howard told him to be serious. Kevin said he's sure he would put him up there. Howard said Kevin is the man with the plan. He said he's glad that he's got the show and it's working out for him.
Howard said he's very comfortable with Kevin in there. He had his leg up on his desk. Howard gave him some plugs for his Caroline's gig.
Howard asked Kevin if he'll talk about the things going on in Hollywood. Kevin jokingly said he has a press conference this afternoon. Kevin asked if Howard thinks he'll ever have any accusers. Howard said he thinks he knows how to handle things and he doesn't think he's ever done anything to bring that on. Kevin asked if he thinks men will come out about women. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said no woman has ever been inappropriate with him. Howard asked on what planet Harvey Weinstein thinks that Gwyneth Paltrow wants to see that fat body of his. He asked why that's his game plan. Howard said Bill O'Reilly too. Howard said that's not a good strategy.
Howard gave Kevin more plugs and Kevin said he has never done Broadway. Howard said he saw Bruce Springsteen on Broadway. Howard said maybe Kevin can fill in for Bruce one night. Kevin said he saw Hamilton a few years ago and there were 5 empty seats around them. He said the president of Israel came in and sat next to him. He said he was nervous because the guards had guns on them. He said the play was so great and he was thinking they were going to start shooting off guns.
Howard said you can find out more tour dates for Kevin at KevinNealon.com. Howard did his impression of Kevin who is very mellow. Robin said that Howard wasn't feeling so good earlier but he's great now. Howard said he is. Kevin said he wasn't feeling so great earlier either.
Kevin asked what Howard is reading now. Howard said he's reading Art Garfunkel's book. He said there's a lot of poetry in there and he doesn't like that part. Howard said he's confused by it. Howard said he's also reading ''Walking in the City.'' Howard was telling Kevin all of that in his mellow Kevin voice.
Kevin said he gets books from his wife. He said he'll read the first couple of pages. Howard said he has to get a Kindle and read on that.
Howard said he loves it when Kevin is there. He gave him more plugs and wrapped up the interview. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and Fred told him he had to do a live commercial read. Howard did that and then said it's time for news. They played Robin into her news with a song parody. Fred still had the Motorhead song playing. Howard asked what happened there. Fred said he played something he shouldn't have. Howard said that song was from David Casstitty or the Part-tits family.
Robin started her news with a story about a football player who is being sued because he had sex with a guy's wife. Howard said you can't blame the player. He said you blame the wife. Howard said it's up to the wife to keep the sanctity of the marriage. Robin said he's right. Robin said he didn't have the marriage he thought he did if his wife strays. Robin read more details about that story.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening to Howard since he was in Hartford. The caller said he has been hinting again about maybe stepping down. He said he can't imagine not listening every day. He asked why he wouldn't do some type of interview show on CNN or something. Howard said he didn't want to say this but he's starting a hiking show where he'll be working his own camera with a selfie stick. Howard said he does love Kevin's show. He said he was telling him that he has notes but he can't look at them. He said he told him to get another selfie stick with the notes on it. Howard said he doesn't know what the future is going to bring. Howard said this gig is so great and he can't imagine leaving this to retire and then do another show. He said then he's not retired. The caller said Howard could do something like Larry King does. He said Howard has to do something and not leave us hanging. Howard thanked him for the call.
Robin read a story about how 62 percent of people in New York favor legalizing marijuana to close the budget gap. Howard said it's only 62. He asked why anyone would care. Robin said they could have weed whenever they wanted it in New York. Howard said he looks forward to having his lunch when the show is over. He said as soon as Robin is done Ronnie will bring in a bag with his egg sandwich. He said he's going to lunch today so he can't have it. He said he hates that. He said he has to go on a business lunch and he can't have two lunches. He said he was up 2 pounds so he doesn't want to be eating 2 lunches today. He said he's obsessing now about his sandwich. Robin asked if Ronnie will still have it. Howard told Ronnie to give it to Benjy or someone out there.
Howard said someone who doesn't want pot legalized is Mad Dog. He had Sour Shoes on the phone doing his Mad Dog impression and talking about the drug thing. Howard kept him on for a minute and then let him go.
Howard asked Ronnie who he's going to give his sandwich to. Ronnie said Benjy asked if there's cheese on it so he's out already. He said he's going to give it to the elevator guy. Howard said Benjy says egg funny. He had Fred do his impression of him saying ''eegs.'' Ronnie said he'll give it to one of the guys there in the office. Howard said Benjy is like ''It's not fattening enough'' so he won't eat it. Howard asked if Benjy wants cheese or no cheese. Robin said she saw him in the kitchen earlier with a hand full of pretzels. Benjy came in and said he doesn't want cheese. Howard said he doesn't have any. Howard said Ronnie should line everyone up and throw it over his shoulder like a bride and her bouquet.
Howard asked Benjy how many slices of pizza he had yesterday. Benjy said he had 2. Howard said that means 5. Benjy said it really was 2. He said he felt like he was under everyone's watchful eye. Howard let Benjy go after that.
Robin read a story about a way to change climate change by changing the way cattle graze. Robin read the details of this study. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Prince Harry's engagement and said she forgot to mention that the woman he's engaged to is part African American. Howard said her mother is African American. Robin said he's showing his racism by bringing that up. Howard said her real name isn't Meghan. He said her middle name is Meghan. He said her name is Rachel or something. Howard said she's going to become a British citizen. Robin said she was on the show ''Suits.'' Howard wondered why he's stopping the party now. Robin said he may have been told to stop. Robin said it's time for him to get married.
Howard said he hear that one of the guys in the office and Benjy were wrestling over the egg sandwich out there. JD got on his microphone and said Benjy put the kid in a headlock. Howard said it's crazy out there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bruce Springsteen's Broadway show being extended through June 30th of next year. Howard said so many people want to see that show. He said Jimmy Kimmel got him tickets. He said it was really special. Robin said tickets start at $75. Robin wondered where you sit for that price. Gary said it's like only the last row. Howard said it's not a big theater so you can see everything. Howard said Jimmy must have spent a lot because they were in the third row. Gary said those are like the $850 seats. Howard said Gary wants to switch to the phone now and talk about this. He picked up on Sour Shoes who was talking about going to see the Bruce show and playing his vinyl there. Howard cut him off and said he can go on and on. Real Gary said he has tickets for January 19th. Howard asked if he's going to clear his throat through the show. Gary said probably. Howard said he'll get thrown out. Howard said that would be great.
Robin read a story about Billy Bush getting hit by a golf ball and going to the hospital. Robin said that's what he's doing now that's out of work. Howard said he figured he was a male nurse after that. Howard said he's not sure if he'll ever get back into show business. He said he's not sure why he got fired for what Trump said. Robin said they did a brain scan on Billy and he's fine. Howard said he was so close. He was on the Today show. Robin said he had just gotten that show too. Robin said he was leaving Access Hollywood for the Today show. Howard said Billy laughed at what Trump said about grabbing pussy and he got fired. Howard said he has the black cloud over his head. He has worse luck than Scott the Engineer. Howard said Billy must watch Trump now and go ''What the fuck?''
Robin read a story about Angela Lansbury talking about how she thinks that women should take some of the blame for the sexual harassment because of the way they look. Howard said she's out of touch. He said that's what happens when you ask a 90-something year old about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Harvey Weinstein and the investigations into the allegations against him. Robin said there are investigations going on around the world. Robin said there are claims of sex trafficking as well. Robin said an actress is claiming that Harvey was able to force her into things based on his influence. Robin said that she didn't know there was a rule about that in sex trafficking.
Robin said Senator Al Franken returned to Washington yesterday. She had some audio of him making some statements to reporters. Franken was apologizing for what's been going on. He said he is ready to start working at gaining people's trust back. Howard said he sounds kind of bored with the apologies already. He said at least he's copping to it. Robin said he's not sure if there will be more accusations against him. Robin had a clip of Franken talking about how he didn't think this would have happened just 3 weeks ago. Franken said he's going to go back to work. Howard said there was an article about how this isn't as crazy as some of the other people. Robin said there was inappropriate behavior though.
Robin read a story about Ryan Seacrest being another one with allegations against him. Robin said a former stylist is saying that Ryan behaved inappropriately toward her. Robin said that he has issued an apology but he's disputing that he did anything wrong. Howard said maybe he just wants to be one of the guys. Robin said he claims this isn't who he is and this isn't something he'd do.
Robin read a story about Richard Branson is saying that he has no recollection of a woman who claims sexual assault on her. Robin said she was a background singer for Joss Stone and she performed on his private island. Robin said she claims he motorboated her. Howard said she was on Motorboat island. Robin said she claims he was trying to get her to show her breasts the whole night and then at the end of the night he motorboated her. Howard said maybe on that island he owns he has his own rules. He said it's called Harassment Island. Robin said you have to be careful going to someone's island.
Robin read a story about Roy Moore and how he's not stepping down. Robin said he's still fighting the allegations against him. Robin said he appeared yesterday and had a select audience there. Robin said he stuck to the script and said this is all fake news. Howard said he has good tape of this guy defending Roy Moore. He said this was on in Birmingham, Alabama. Howard played the clip and the guy was on the phone going over Roy's life and how the women he went after were younger women. He said there is something about a purity of a younger woman and that's what Moore was looking for. The guy said that he came back from Vietnam and the women his age were all taken. Howard said this guy is making Vietnam seem like it was the Civil war or something. Howard said if those fucking hillbillies vote for Roy Moore... Robin said he's saying he had to go in that direction. Howard said that story is fucked up no matter what way you look at it. Howard did his hillbilly voice for a short time talking about that.
Robin read a story about a guy who is trying to get that empty seat that Roy Moore is running for. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about that.
Robin read a story about Uma Thurman sending out a message about Harvey Weinstein on Thanksgiving. Robin read what she wrote in Instagram. Robin said she's apparently reveling in his twisting in the wind.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian hiring an attorney to help a prison inmate. Robin said some celebrities have been trying to help this 29 year old who killed the man she had been sold to in a sex trafficking ring. Robin said that Kardashian's attorney is trying to figure out her legal options. Robin said that seems like a worthy cause to get involved in.
Robin read a story about a new Star Wars video game that might be gambling. Howard said maybe he'll get into this if that's true. Robin said there are parts of the game where you pay to unlock treasure and you don't know what it contains. Robin said it's real money to unlock a loot box and you don't know what's in it. Robin said it might be defined as gambling according to some.
Robin said they are releasing some information about Kim Jong Un's brother who was killed. Robin said he was assassinated with an odorless poison. Robin said his name was Kim Jong Nam. Robin said he was estranged from his family and he was rushed to a hospital in Malaysia and now they're saying he was poisoned. Robin said they also say he soiled his pants in the poisoning. Robin said it was the amount of feces in his underwear that led them to believe it was poisoning.
Robin said she didn't get to the President Trump thing with the American Indian comments. Robin said he said Pocahontas to these men who he was supposed to be honoring. Howard said the look on the guy's face was awesome. Robin said they were also in front of the picture of Andrew Jackson who kept moving the American Indians around when they'd find something they liked on their reservation. Robin said that they killed 400,000 Native Americans at the time. Robin said that was an odd place to mention that stuff. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how everyone is there for the big show. He said he thought this song was going to be a hit. He was talking about The Great American Nightmare. Fred had a clip of Robin warming up her voice that he played over the song. He had some other audio of Robin singing that he played over it too. Howard said she asks things that other people don't think of. He said that's why he collaborates with her.
Howard said it's exciting today. He said people are listening and he just read the paper preparing for the show. He said he was reading about Eli Manning and ho they disgraced him by benching him. He said the Giants haven't been playing very well. Howard said they boot your ass in radio if you don't do well. He said welcome to reality. He said one day you're on and the next David Lee Roth is filling in for you.
Howard said he was listening to the Mike Francesa view and all of that. Howard said this is the least important thing out there but this is what people are into. Howard said the reality is that management doesn't give a fuck what you've done for them. They want to know what you can do for them today. Robin said they're not thinking about the fans. Howard said they're not thinking of anything but holding on to their own jobs. Howard said he feels bad for Eli for being treated kind of shitty. Robin said the reporters ran up to him and asked how it feels. Howard said it's not so much Eli but the team effort. Howard said he gets it.
Howard said Mike Francesa went off on this. He said he thought that he was retiring. Gary told him he has 3 more weeks. Howard said if he was Eli he'd stop playing. He said now he can sit on the sideline and not get his head bashed in. He said at 50 he might be able to remember stuff and be able to tie his own shoes. Robin said it must be so fun because guys cry when they can't do it anymore. Howard said there is a comradery with sports that he missed out on. Howard said over thanksgiving Beth's brothers were with him. He said they were into sports and one of her brothers was a big basketball player. Howard said the other brother played for Penn State and he was a big deal. Howard said when he hangs with them he feels like he's in the locker room. Howard said they're good guys and funny. He said it's locker room humor and all of that. He said that aspect of the game is great.
Howard said getting his head bashed in isn't something he'd want to do. Robin said young people playing the game are having problems. Howard said Eli looks like that's the only thing he has going on. Howard said if he had something else he was passionate with he'd be done with it. Howard said he's getting older too. Robin said they spend their whole life doing this one thing. They don't know what to do now.
Howard said he would have joined football if he could have just done the locker room thing. Robin said he could have been a towel boy. Howard said he could have. Howard said he was nothing in high school. He said he was like a chair. He said one day he was at his locker and a guy asked if he wanted to join the football team. Howard said he was a douche and he didn't think anyone would ask him that. Howard said he was pencil thin with long hair. He said he didn't do anything but smoke a lot of weed. Howard said he said no to the football thing. He said he wishes he could have done that. He said maybe he would have had a girlfriend. Howard said he was awful at the game of basketball. He said if his dad had played sports with him maybe he could have played something.
Howard said he thinks he would have been good at it if he had some sort of mentor. Robin said it's hard to be good at those things. Howard said he might have been passable. He said maybe he wouldn't have been beaten by Nils Loftgren who is 5'2'' tall. Howard said it didn't help Gary though.
Howard said Mike Francesa got so worked up over this Eli Manning thing. Howard played a clip of Mike going off on the coach of the Giants over the benching of Eli. Howard said he couldn't get this worked up over anything. He said he must be kidding. He said this guy can't be normal. Robin said this is how people get about sports. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard kept going with the agent character talking about how they can do a topless scene by having the dragon burn off her bra but not her panties. The agent was talking about dealing with the guys over at HBO and how they went through this negotiation. He said they agreed they'll burn off her bra and then they'll have one episode where they show her bush but no lips. He said that's saved for the series finale. The agent said they'll see the bra burn off at the start of the season but you'll only see one tit. Robin asked if they're going to the side. The Agent said you'll see the side of her clit. The Agent said that they had discussions about how hard her nips will be in the show. He said that's how detailed they get. He said they get into these discussions and he had another issue with nudity where they negotiated a pussy shot in a movie where she shows lips but they're closed. He said the clit is implied in the scene.
The agent said that they had to imply that the pubic hair isn't longer than his pinkie. He said you can see how clipped her pubes were in the fully nude scene. Robin said that's not natural for those times. The agent said that Robin could be a Khaleesi. He said that she could do a stand in. He asked how big her nips are. Robin said she's looking for some remuneration for that. The agent said he wants to photograph her labia and big nipples.
Howard said Mike is really worked up with that. He had Sour Shoes on the phone but he had something playing over him. Howard had to cut it off. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with that guy. Howard said he's always fucking up. Howard put him back on but the sound was still playing. Howard said he has a radio playing at the same time he's doing the impression. He said working with him is so exhausting. He said he's not going to give up. He said he thinks he can contain this guy.
Sour was doing his Mad Dog impression too. Howard said he thought that they could mould Sour but the guys don't think they can. Howard said weird things happen with him. He said this time it's audio playing. Robin said it sounds like a bleed through. Howard kept putting him on and cutting him off. Howard said maybe he doesn't even know he's annoyed with him. Howard said he might have to let him go like they did with Eli Manning.
Howard checked on Sour again and asked what makes him think that's working. Howard said he always goes back and tells the guys to rein him in and tell him to do one impression at a time. Howard said they get it all lined up and then this happens.
Howard asked Will what happened with that. He said he thinks Will is in charge of Sour. Howard said whoever it is will be fired. Will came in and said this is Sour on his own. He said Sour is on the air with WFAN waiting to get on the air. That's what the sound was. Howard picked up again and the WFAN audio was still bleeding over. Will said he runs by his own thing. Howard asked if they can ever tame him. Will said no. He said they can get a 50 percent shot with a premise. Howard said they put him on and he has WFAN on and you can't hear him. Howard said it's fascinating how warped he is.
Howard picked up again and Sour was having a conversation with himself. Gary said he thinks he's doing this impression for whoever picks up first. He said if he gets on WFAN then he can do it for Mike. He said he doesn't listen to who is picking up. Howard said just call one show maybe. He said that would make too much sense.
Howard said Sour's parents went nuts because his phone bills were so high. Howard said he saw that guy Carton started his own podcast after he left Boomer and Carton. Howard said he's not sure if they'll ever get Sour under control. He said that's why he lives with his parents.
Howard picked up on Sour again and he was still having a conversation with himself and the WFAN audio was still there. Howard said he's just doing this because this is what's in his mind. He just does it for himself.
Howard wondered what happened to Sour. Robin said he must be on the spectrum. Howard said he must be. Will said he thinks he got hit in the head with a baseball as a kid. Fred said he has a metal plate in his head. Howard said that must be it. Howard said it's also 7:30 in the morning and his parents must be going mental. He said that's why they make him work sometimes.
Howard said they tried to set Sour Shoes up with a microphone in his attic but they just can't control the guy.
Howard picked up again and Sour was still talking to himself. Gary said this is a guy who showed up there with a duffel bag full of leaves from his yard. He said they had him up there to record some stuff and that's what he showed up with. Howard said he is brilliant but he's so fucked up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Sour is great. He said they have to get rid of Bobo and Jeff the Drunk and have him on all the time. Howard said they try to work with him and he's talking to the radio and he's unavailable. Will said you have to just take what you get from him as a bonus. Howard said they can't get him to focus. Howard said Sour will say he can focus but then they can't get him to. He said he's so talented but they can't get him to do anything. Will said he's like Sour's parents at this point. Howard said Sour came up there once and asked Sal to change his diaper for him. He said he was serious.
Robin said Sour came in his pants one day up there. Howard said Lisa G stood next to him and he came. The guys said she may have rubbed his back.
Howard tried again with Sour and he was still talking to himself as Mad Dog and Mike. Howard said maybe he's just warming up. Robin said he's about to burn out. Howard said he just hung up on him accidentally. Will said he'll be back.
Howard played a clip of Sour calling Mike Francesa as Scott the engineer and Mike goes nuts on him. Mike hung up on him. Howard said he calls him every day. Howard said this is another one where Sour calls in as Jackie. Howard played that one and Sour did his Jackie impression asking if he'd ever go punch up scripts. Mike hung up on him.
Howard asked what the odds are that Mike would come over there and work with Mad Dog. Howard said he doesn't think they like each other. He said maybe it's best they stay apart. Will said that would be a big get for Sirius. Howard said it's not going to bring in any subscribers. Howard said its' like Oprah who just took the money and ran. Will said he was watching her over Thanksgiving and she had all kinds of food. He said she has like 7 chefs in her kitchen. Howard said just let her eat and explode. Robin said they can't do that. She said she's a national treasure.
Howard said you don't need Weight Watchers. Howard said he has a 5 or 6 pound swing that he allows himself. He said he was eating too much over vacation. He said what he did yesterday was just cut back. He said he had a bagel and peanut butter for dinner. He said that was enough. He said it wasn't a crazy meal. Robin said it's not a Big Mac. Howard said he had to go to lunch yesterday for a lunch meeting. He said he likes to wolf down his sandwich. He said you can't talk during lunch so he's not sure why they do that. He said if you want to eat then eat. He said if you want to meet then just meet.
Howard said he had a meeting about something the fans would be excited about but he's not sure he'd ever do it. He said by the time you get to this point in your life they offer stuff that's cool but he's like ''fuck it.'' He said he wanted it 20 years ago. He said now he doesn't need it. Will said he's not sure why he does any of it. He said he thinks he's amazing at it but why do it? Howard said he should just go off and retire. He said he feels like he's been hustling for his entire life. Gary asked if Netflix said they'd give him Seinfeld type money and offered him 15 interviews a year, would that be enough. Howard said if he's not there then he would do that. Howard said he has 3 more years here. Howard said once he's in the chair he's happy doing it. He said he has to prepare for the show and wants to do a good job. He said he has purpose and that's complaining. He said he can do that at home.
Robin asked what he's going to do without Gary. Howard said he wouldn't mine waking up and not seeing Gary. Gary asked if he got up every day and didn't have a place to go would it bother him. Howard said no. He said he just keeps coming back because he's afraid to leave.
Howard said someone superimposed Gary's face over Steve Harvey. He said it was frightening. Howard said go to HowardStern.com and Jason will put it up. Howard said they're almost identical twins. Howard said some genius fan of theirs figured it out. Will said it makes sense. Howard said just wait until you see this picture.
Howard said the bag Ronnie puts the food in is from an ice cream shop called Big Gay Ice Cream. Howard said it's a thermal bag. Howard asked what kind of name that is for an ice cream shop. Howard said it's not a good marketing name. Howard said these guys are like ''Fuck you! We're Big Gay Ice Cream.'' Howard said he'd go there but he's not sure if other people would.
Ronnie came in to tell Howard about why he tapes over the name of the bag. Ronnie said there are a lot of crazy people out there and he might get his head bashed in. He said that's why he taped it up. Howard said maybe get a smaller thermal bag. Ronnie said they just had it there. He said his sandwich was getting cold and he was trying to do the right thing. Howard told him to calm down. Howard said he's like Sour Shoes. He said he has to calm him down. Howard said the bag was a good idea but maybe get a smaller one. He said that they can improve on the idea. He said a smaller bag would be great. Robin said they can get a smaller one with no writing on it. Howard said Robin sets Ronnie off. Ronnie said she has a knife in her voice. Howard said that's what Charles Manson says when he goes after someone.
Howard said Ronnie was thinking with that bag. He asked what he used. Ronnie said he used black electrical tape. Will said it's like if he got a big shirt and just cut the sleeves off to make it fit. Howard said they have some money in the budget for a sandwich bag. Robin said he doesn't understand the idea of thermal because they wrap the bag around and around it. Howard said he doesn't think that matters. Robin said you don't have to wrap it around to make it work. Ronnie said you wrap it up and you don't see the Big Gay logo.
Howard said yesterday he asked Ronnie to give his sandwich to someone in the back. He had him throw it to the guys like a bride throws a bouquet. He said that Benjy and one of the guys back there went for it and they were wrestling over it. Howard said Benjy's shirt was up and his belly was out. Will said his ass was out too. Howard said he has the audio but they have video up on HowardStern.com. Howard said JD was in it too. Howard played the clip after that. You could hear the tumbling on the floor out there.
Howard said Benjy got the egg sandwich and he said it was the best one he's ever had. Howard said he was like the Khaleesi with a nip slip out there. Howard said Benjy ate it. Ronnie said he loved it and didn't shut up about it. Howard said he heard them tumbling around and the whole studio was shaking. Howard said it was Benjy falling down and wrestling over the sandwich. Howard said if only Benjy would fight for his job that hard.
Howard said Benjy is a big boy now. He said that he's shaped like a beach ball. Will said he's been there 20 years and he keeps saying he'll lose weight. Howard said that's only if he's offered a money prize. He said he has stretch marks too. He said you can't use that excuse about having a baby. Robin said you can ask though. Howard said Benjy looks like a comic book character who bounced around. Fred said he was named Bouncy Boy. Howard said he didn't know he was invulnerable. Howard said they should paint Benjy like a snowball for Christmas.
Howard did his impression of Benjy talking about the ''eeeg'' sandwich. Howard asked Benjy what he weighs now. Benjy came in and said he thought he looked manly in that video. Howard said his belly and tits were out in that video. Howard said he defeated the other two dudes. Howard asked if he went home and ate a second lunch. Benjy said he did. He said he had horrible headaches and he used food to sooth himself. Howard said he does that too. Fred did his impression of Benjy and goofed on that a little bit.
Benjy said the guy who makes this egg is really good. He said that he has had plenty of wraps but this was perfect. Howard said he should get one then. Benjy said it is fun fighting for it. Benjy said he doesn't go to lunch meetings every day. Benjy said you can tell whoever makes it is making it for Howard. Howard said they don't know they're making it for him because he doesn't want people fucking with it.
Howard said Benjy used to bring in supermarket size salads. He said it was a giant trough of food. Benjy said he likes salad. Will asked if he had donuts yesterday. Benjy said he did. Benjy said he can control himself if he had enough sleep. Howard said maybe he'll lay off for a while.
Howard said Benjy was eating garlic cloves for a while to get sleep. He said he stunk up the whole studio. Benjy didn't remember doing that.
Gary said Shuli has a picture he has to see of Benjy eating. Shuli came in and showed him eating and it looked like he was eating out of a feed bag. Howard said they have to put that on the web. Robin said his head is in the bag.
Howard said everyone is so weird with their diet there. Howard said Gary cuts pieces off a donut and he leaves the rest there. He said just take the whole thing. Ronnie said he goes back and back over and over again. then he'll throw the rest in the garbage. Howard said just take the whole donut and eat as much as he wants. Gary said he cuts it with a knife and doesn't put his fingers on it. Howard said he's going to eat it. Gary said he takes half and doesn't eat the rest. He said he'll go back and get more. Ronnie said it's the same with his egg bagel. He said he'll eat half and leave the other half there. He said he'll go back and get the other half. Gary said he took both halves and only buttered one half.
Will said Gary will peck at candy too. Ronnie said when the news crew was back there Gary would go get chocolate from them. He said he'd hide it so no one would see. Howard said Gary runs a hundred miles a day but he's still fat. That's why. Will said they used to hide the chocolate from him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she wishes that Benjy would choke on that sandwich. She said he's a pig. Mariann said that he knows what he did. She said he doesn't belong in that studio. She said everyone respects Howard but not Benjy. Benjy said he likes her passion sometimes. Mariann said she doesn't care what he likes. Mariann was talking over him and saying he should crawl in and thank him for that job. She said he doesn't even go to meetings.
Howard said Benjy was saying that she had a touching moment with him. Mariann didn't remember that. Benjy said it was during Vinnie Favale's play and they were there together. He said he and Mariann were crying together at the play. Mariann said she was crying over the play not over Benjy. Benjy said they had a moment. Mariann said he's delusional. She said she's living in the real life and Benjy isn't.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she lives in the Village and the Big Gay ice cream place is really popular down there. She said they have a bouncer outside the place during the summer. She said it's a thing to go there. She said they have funny names for the ice cream there. She said it's not a big deal in the Village if someone is gay or not.
Howard said they learned that Sour Shoes is impossible to manage. Howard said they learned that Ronnie covers up the Big Gay Ice Cream logo to keep their guy from getting beat up. He said they learned about Benjy looking like Bouncy Boy and that he fought over that egg wrap.
Howard said he's not sure why there are no transgender characters on The Walking Dead. Howard said he's not sure why that is. Benjy said Howard has gone years without any Transgender in his life. Howard said that's true but there should be someone on the show. Benjy said maybe that would be another episode. Robin said maybe a transgender zombie. Howard said he'd watch that. Howard said maybe Caitlyn Jenner could be on. Howard said maybe they could have someone lead the zombies. Will said that Game of Thrones has that. Howard said he thought he had something there.
Ronnie said that show The Punisher is good. Howard said here could have been more killing. Howard said Mindhunter is awesome. Robin said Stranger Things was great too. Robin said she's watching a show that Robert Kirkman is doing about the secret history of comic books and it's so good. Howard said he's not interested. Robin said Wonder Woman was created by a man who lived with his wife and girlfriend. Howard said he didn't know that and he doesn't need to know that. Robin said he had something to do with the invention of the lie detector. Howard said they could get rid of Wonder Woman. He said she's so emasculating.
Howard said he had something he was going to tell them. He said they have Man Hunter on Netflix too. He said that was good. Howard said he has to take a break. Robin asked if he really doesn't want to learn about comic books. Robin said Superman was the first super hero ever. Howard said he was. Howard said he already knew that. Howard said he's not going to watch that show. Benjy said he gave Howard a book about the history of comic books. Howard said he has to take a break. He thanked the guys for coming in. He went to break after that.
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Howard said JD pulled some audio clips. Gary said they have some audio of Savannah Guthrie saying she was told just minutes before the broadcast this morning. Howard said they probably had him come in to fire him like they did to him. Howard said they had to go into work early to fire them. Howard said they could have told him that on the phone. Howard said they made him come all the way in.
Howard said they should have had Matt go on the air and tell people that he was fired and then interview himself.
Howard played a clip of the announcement on the Today show where they said Matt was fired. Savannah read the statement NBC put out about the firing.
Robin said ''Wow'' after hearing that. Howard said coming soon is the Matt Lauer podcast. Howard said what a mess. Robin asked where it ends. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said he has an idea. He said he's maybe the most appropriate man on the planet. He said they'll have to fire every man and he'll be the only man on the air. Howard said they have neutered everyone to make sure nothing happens.
Howard said they have known Matt for a really long time. Howard said he's not sure what went down there. He said he and Robin are going to start a news network of anchors who have lost their jobs. Howard said when they met Matt he was a landscaper. Howard said this is really sad. Robin said it's awful. Robin said they knew Charlie Rose too. Howard said he knew enough not to have kids. Robin said all of these guys have families.
Howard said Hoda Kotb is a weird name. He asked what that is. Howard said it's and unusual name. He said there's a vowel missing there. Fred said it's an Egyptian name. Howard played a clip of Hoda and someone talking about Matt being fired. They were wondering how you reconcile with that news.
Howard said Al Roker did a sad weather forecast. Howard said he's his buddy so he was upset about the firing. Howard said even on 9/11 you turn to the weather guy to lighten things up. Howard said Al is between a rock and a hard place. He said he's sad over this. Howard played the clip and Al talked about how he's trying to process this. He did his weather and sounded sad doing it. Howard said it's a depressing weather forecast. Fred played some sad piano music and a guy screaming out.
Howard said what a mess. He said he's very fond of Matt and his wife and family. He said he's not sure what to say other than it's sad. Robin said it's awful.
Howard said High Pitch Erik wants to talk. Howard took the call from Erik who said something about this person who is accusing Matt. Howard tried to guess what he said and did an impression of Erik garbling his words.
Howard asked how Erik's appendix is. Erik said they gave him antibiotics and they don't want to do surgery yet. He said he's off one med for Diabetes. Howard said he's so sorry he asked. Erik said he's on less medication than Scott now. Howard said Erik is pretty shook up too. Erik said Matt interviewed Howard on that show and it was great chemistry. Howard said he's known Matt so many years. He asked Erik if he can handle this shock. Erik said it's very sad news but he'll be fine.
Robin said Billy Bush was brought in to replace Matt and now they've lost Matt. Robin said Carson Daly is going to have to step up. Howard said the farm team is getting a break. Howard said they're going to have to turn to him to take over. Howard said even Charlie Rose is out.
Howard said he has to move along. He told Erik to feel good. Erik garbled his goodbye to Howard. Howard said maybe Fred can take over for these guys who are getting fired. Howard said he has some broadcast experience at least. Erik said something about how they could always use him. Howard said how about JD hosting. Robin said they're so far down they have to take JD now? Howard said JD is in negotiations with NBC now. He asked how much it would take for him toe leave for the Today show. Howard and Fred did JD's mumbling answer.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if it's fair for someone to get fired over one complaint over a 20 year period. Howard said he doesn't know what happened there. He said he's going to hear more and he's not sure what's going on. He said Matt is a friend of his and Robin's and they love him but the outcome is that men have to clean up their fucking act. He said in any situation he's told the guys there that the rules are simple. He said you can't tell a girl she looks good in an outfit. Howard said just rein it in.
Howard said the rules are so simple. He said especially in show business. He said don't blow it over something like this. Robin said even the guys you don't think are creeps are being accused of this. Howard said just don't be creepy. Robin said if you are then do it outwardly.
Howard said he doesn't know what happened with Matt. He said he's worried if someone is telling the truth or not. Howard said that would be awful it if is a lie but he doesn't have any of the facts. Howard said it's weird that we have politicians, like our President, who claim that the tape from Access Hollywood was fake. Howard said he's not sure how the people of Alabama are supporting this Roy Moore guy after the stories came out about him. Robin said one of the girls was as young as 14.
Howard said he's shook up after this. He said he's not an Elvis guy but now he gets that song. He said he's all shook up. He said it's really fucked up. Howard said they save this stuff for on the air and not off. Howard let the caller go after that. Howard said he's bummed out about that. Robin said it's awful.
Howard said he doesn't want to put on a sad voice like Al Roker. Robin said he is kind of sounding that way.
Robin said she was doing the Channel 9 show once and she had an engineer say something about ''look at the tits on her'' and she didn't know the guy so she called him out on that.
Howard had Fred play some Lenny Dykstra clips and had Robin respond to them. Robin said this guy just has to leave. Howard said that's how you handle a guy like that.
Howard said he tells the guys to ask what Lenny would do and just do the opposite. Howard asked Gary if Anthony is there. Gary said he is. Howard said Anthony Atamanuik is there. He said he's the number one Trump impersonator. He said they're going to talk to him after he takes a break.
Howard said he has Wood Yi on the phone. He said he wants to comment on the sexual harassment stuff. Howard took the call and the guys in the back played clips of Wood Yi talking about that stuff. They had him sexually harassing Robin. Howard spent a short time talking to Wood Yi before letting him go.
The caller said that his two sons are both in the Marines. Howard said he thanks them for their service. The caller said he was just diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease a year ago. He said he's falling apart. He said there's a new drug that can slow it down but it's like $150,000 a year. He said he can't afford that. Howard said he has a game to play but maybe after Anthony goes he can play. The caller said he has to go to work. Howard said he'll do it real quick. He said it's compliments of HeatHolders. Howard said he has one question for him. He said he'll win $500 if he gets the one question right.
Howard said that he'll give him a sample question. He said they have Beetlejuice a simple phrase. He played a clip of Richard saying 'Beating a dead...'' and Beet had to come up with the answer. Howard asked if he thinks he knows it. The caller said no. Howard played the clip and Beet's answer was ''dead cock.''
Howard said he has to win the money here. Howard played a clip of them giving Beet ''Best thing since sliced...'' The caller said he won't know it. Howard played Beetlejuice's answer of ''slice of pizza.'' Howard said the guy won $500 and the cure for Lou Gherig's disease. Howard said he gets a $200 gift card for HeatHolders.com. Howard let the guy go and told him to hang in there.
Howard came back and said he has Anthony Atamanuik there. He said he's been practicing his last name. He said he wants to get it right. Robin said he usually comes in character so this is the first time she's seeing him as himself. Howard asked how long it takes to put the makeup on. Anthony said it's 2 hours. Howard said he must walk down the street and no one knows who he is. Anthony said yes. He said they shot a field piece in Queens recently and they took the makeup off. He said he walked by a guy and hit him and the guy told him ''Hey watch it!'' He said no one knows how he is out of makeup. Howard said that's got to be great. He said that one of the great things about being famous is that you get recognized.
Howard asked why he hasn't changed his name. Anthony said that he wasn't famous so he figured why change it. Howard asked what he's going to do if Trump leaves office for some reason. He asked if it will crush his career. Anthony said he thinks he'll be fine. Robin said it seems to her that most of these guys disappear with the president they did. Anthony said Von Meter was like that. He said he evaporated in one day. Anthony said he did a lot of work before this. He said he's done sketch and stuff. He said he's not an impressionist technically. He said he just did Trump as a lark. He said it's more of an acting job than an impression.
Howard said he thinks of him as his discovery even if he's not. Howard said he leaned about Anthony when he was with Jerry Seinfeld. He said Jerry was looking over his shoulder watching a Met game and Colin Quinn was there. Howard said Colin told him that this guy would be great for his show. Howard said he looked it up and said he had to get them in there. Howard said it worked well on the show even though it's radio. Howard said comedy Central picked up their show. Anthony said they do it weekly and if they did it nightly his face would fall off. He said they have to bald camp him to seal his head up. He said they paint that and then his face. He said they have to shade him and then spray you with an air brush. He said it's that and the wig. Howard said he thought it was funny that all he had was the blonde wig in the comedy clubs. Howard said that was so great. Anthony said it's like Jerry Lewis and his The Day the Clown Died.
Howard asked if he keeps in touch with James the guy who did the Bernie Sanders thing. Anthony said he does and he's going to be in the Christmas special.
Howard said they cut a bit from the show and he wants to know what it was. Anthony said they cut it for time. He said they were doing this piece where Trump in therapy and he looks at ink blots. He said that Trump just sees pussy in every blotch. Howard said every answer was pussy. He said that's a funny bit. Howard asked if that was too gross for Comedy Central. Anthony said it wasn't. He said it was just for time. He said Comedy Central is cool. He said they're way cooler than he thought they'd be. He said they released that bit online. He said Trump can take anything and say no and this is a positive.
Howard asked if he thinks Trump takes 2 hours to get made up in the morning. Anthony said he might. He said he has a cooling system under his fat suit that he wears. Howard said that he should just get fat. Anthony said he's sort of getting there.
Howard asked why they're changing the time slot so much for the show. Anthony said it's called The President Show and they were moving it around because different shows were coming in. Howard said he's on at 12 now. Anthony said that they weren't concerned that much with it. He said that At Midnight shut down and they moved into that slot. He said now they're on at 10:30. He said it's always something.
Howard said he's not one to tell someone how to program but you have to keep a time slot. Anthony said it has been tough but they have done pretty well considering. He said they have worked hard to keep them on air. He said they love working for them there. Howard said Anthony is there to remind everyone they have a special Christmas show on November 30th.
Howard asked who will be there. He said Bernie will be there. He said that Mario Cantone will do The Mooch again. He said he has fun doing that. He said they have Bebe Neworth from Cheers doing the show too. Anthony said he's going to have the whole gang there. Howard said he's a mogul all of a sudden. Anthony said he'd rather stay under the radar.
Howard asked when he'll find out about the second season. Anthony said he doesn't know what he'd do. He said he might just hang there and tune the guitar on the side. Howard said he could go back to doing stand up or something. Howard said it's so much better doing it on TV. Howard asked Anthony if there is a back up plan. Anthony said not at all. Howard asked if he told his agent that. Anthony said he didn't tell him that.
Howard asked when he thinks he'll find out. Anthony said within a week or so. He said the guys at Comedy Central are great. He said Kent Alderman is great. He said he did Strangers with Candy and some other shows. He said he gave them some great ideas for the show.
Howard went into his agent voice and talked to this guy Kent about what to do with the President Show. Howard asked Anthony who his agent is. Anthony said he keeps answering this stuff and he has to stop. Howard said he should get the Khaleesi's agent. Howard asked if he has any bigger clients than him. Anthony said he's with ICM so they have big names there.
Howard said that Anthony is waiting now and he may know in a week or so. Anthony said he has let go of control of it. Howard said he loves him. He said he'd like to talk to Donald Trump if he can. Anthony got into his Trump voice. Howard asked how he becomes him. Anthony said you have to pull your face back, put your jaw forward and then look like a pork pie. Howard asked how he does that in his mind. Anthony said he will use anything you say against you.
Anthony did his Trump voice and talked about how he's going to handle Kim Jong Un by sending Richard Simmons over there to Deal A Meal him.
Howard asked ''Trump'' about trying to erase everything that Obama accomplished. Trump said he's going to outlaw basketball because the only orange balls are his. He said you have to get rid of basketball because he's not going to allow 5 black guys in his back yard. He said he's also issuing a tranny reversal and Caitlyn has to revers her transition so he can start winning medals again.
Howard said he read that they're getting rid of Michelle Obama's vegetable garden. Trump said they're paving over it with asphalt.
Howard asked Trump about the nicknames he gives people. He had Trump give him nicknames for other people. He gave him the name Mahatma Gandhi. Trump called him diaper Genie. He called Lincoln ''Limp wrist Lincoln.'' He said everyone knows he was like that. Howard asked about John Lennon. Trump gave him ''Circle glasses ugly wife.'' Howard said he comes up with this off the top of his head. Howard said this is how he masters the art of the deal. Howard asked if he was running against John F. Kennedy what would he name him. Trump said he'd call him One Term Kennedy or Head Splat. Howard asked about Hitler and Trump said he doesn't like the name calling so he's going to back off. He said there are good people on both sides. Howard asked Trump about Mother Theresa. He said he'd call her long tits Theresa.
Howard said President Trump is so good with nicknames. He said he has to talk to him about the sexual predators. Howard said there's that tape of him with Billy Bush. Trump said here hasn't been anything proven. He said that he was a victim of Billy Bush. He said he was just harassing him like his uncle George.
Howard asked Trump about Al Franken and Trump said when he grabs a pussy he grabs it fully. He said that he has grabbed it and he's smelled his finger and smelled Brie. He said her name was Brie though.
Howard asked about Harvey Weinstein and fake Trump said that he loves a man begging. Howard asked about Roy Moore and Trump said that he got thrown out of a mall but not the good mall.
Howard said Charlie Rose shocked him. Fake Trump said that you can't run around in front of young girls unless you own your own beauty pageant. He said you deny everything and let Billy Bush take the blame.
Howard asked fake Trump to give a nickname to Marilyn Monroe. Fake Trump came up with Mumbling after an overdose Marilyn Monroe.
Howard said he loves that he's so honest on the air. He said that he tackles it all. Trump said he tackles 15 year old girls. Howard said he doesn't do that. Fake Trump said that's right, he doesn't do that.
Howard said he's sure that he'll be watching The President Show. Howard said Trump came up with Christmas. Trump said he did and all of their great friends will show up for that. He said that they have some great guests showing up there.
Howard said the special is on at 10pm on Comedy Central on November 30th. Howard thanked Anthony and Trump and got reactions from both. Howard went to break after that.
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Robin said he didn't speak to any black people down there. Brent said he didn't accuse any black people. He said he didn't say he didn't talk to any black guys. Brent said you can't just accuse everyone. Brent asked Robin if here is a serial killer in custody or not. Robin said there is. Howard said he is taking credit for that. Howard asked when he's going to accept the keys for the city. Brent said he'll do that any time. He said he's glad people can sleep at night now down there. Howard said good job Brent. He told him to stick to investigating and not jokes.
Howard said that he likes those shows. He said religious guys are too much. Howard said the guys have so much for him to play. He said he has Jim Bakker's new shopping network. He said he went to jail and his empire is just growing and growing. Howard said that's all he knows how to do apparently.
Howard said these guys all think that they can get away with this shit. Howard said they forgive guys like Jim Bakker and Roy Moore. Howard said religious people put their money where their mouths are. He said they raise money and get air time. Howard said he has Wolfie on the phone too. He said he went to an Elvis tribute convention. He said the Miss Universe pageant happened too. He said Steve Harvey hosted that. Howard said Matt Lauer lost his gig this morning.
Howard said he was so bad when he started out in radio. He said even Robin would say that. Robin said he had great potential. Howard said they weren't clear on that. He said he had a fantasy when he was starting out that there would be a virus and everyone in the country would lose their voice and he'd be the only man with a voice. He said then he'd get every radio job. He said he'd be the best announcer in the world. He said this was his dream. He said there was no way he'd get to the top by earning it. He said that Robin would be the only one who could sing after that virus. Fred played some of her singing.
Howard said people would want to hear something new and Robin would release a new song. Howard said he wants to mention that Robin is recording her Christmas album today. Robin said she's been working on getting that together.
Howard said he was talking about his fantasy. He said that's what's happening with this sexual harassment and raping and stuff. He said he and Fred might be the only men around. He said they'll swoop in and take every broadcasting job. Howard said he'll take ABC and NBC and Fred can have the cable networks. Fred said that's perfect.
Howard said he was offered a movie a long time ago where he'd be the last guy on earth who had sperm. He said he thought it was going to be a funny movie but it never did happen. He said he's writing one where he and Fred are the only men not accused of harassment. Howard said he'd file a complaint against Fred and he'd have to resign. Howard said he'll be the only guy women want to be with.
Howard asked Wendy if George Takei did anything to her. Wendy said he raped her and she had his baby. Howard had her tell some other made up stories about other celebrities. Wendy said she's doing this now because she doesn't know. Howard said this is a woman whose diaper was eaten by Charlie Rose. Howard said she's not a woman's woman.
Howard asked what Al Franken did to her. Wendy said he ran her can over with a lawn mower. Howard asked Wendy to talk about what she did to him and made it up as he went along. Wendy just said yes to it all. Howard asked how much she weighs now. Wendy said she's 295. Howard said she doesn't shave her bush at all. Wendy said yes. Howard said Al ran over her bush with the lawn mower. Wendy said yes to that too.
Robin asked if she remembers what happened with George HW Bush. Wendy said that he raped her. Howard thanked her for playing along with them. Howard said he has to hang up real quick before she asks for Christmas money. Howard let her go. Wendy said her mom asked her to call and ask to help her out. Howard told her to have her mom call him herself. Wendy said she's in the hospital with something wrong with her back leg. Howard said he gave the money to that Lou Gehrig guy earlier. Howard said he has an idea. He told her to sue all of her abusers. Wendy said okay to that. Robin said Howard asked for money and Wendy said she can't do it. Wendy said she didn't have the money. She said that she can't beg people for money because her mom is in the hospital Howard said if something happens to her mom they're going to have to take care of her.
Robin asked who she's with. Wendy said she's with her brother and sister. Howard said she has to help her mom out. Wendy said she has. She said she's paying her bills for her and her own bills too. Wendy said she's been paying her co-payments and stuff. Howard said she uses that money to gamble. Wendy said she hasn't been doing that. She said it's just one or two times a day, that's it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Wendy was banned from Walmart for shoplifting. Wendy said she did not. She said she's been using her own money. The caller said she asked for $15 from him when he walked in. Wendy said she's not banned from there. The caller insisted she is.
Howard took a call from fake Gary the Conqueror who said he loves Wendy. Wendy said she loves him too. Howard let Sour Gary go after that.
Howard said there's nothing going on with her mom. Wendy said she is in the hospital. She said she saw her last night.
Howard said Wendy plays him a lot for money. Wendy said she does not. She said she has serious stuff she has to get done. She said she doesn't get much from SSI. Howard asked how much medication she's on. Wendy said she has one Depo shot that she takes and that's it. Unless she's sick. Then she takes more. Howard asked if she has ever had such a hard doody that she has to push it out. Wendy said yes. Wendy said Scott might need to eat prunes like she does. Howard said look at her with the advice.
Howard told Wendy to call Robin if she needs money. Gary said Wolfie said that she claims she had no money last year when he was with her but she had a wallet full. Howard got Wolfie on the line and Wolfie said that she complained she didn't have money but it was stuffed with 20 dollar bills. Wendy said it was just $50. She said that it wasn't stuffed with 20s. She said she has receipts in her wallet too. Robin said it went from 20 to 50 dollars. Howard said she must be keeping track of the receipts for taxes.
Howard said he has to take a breather from this. He put Wolfie on hold and took a call from a guy who said they should just pay Wendy. He said she's just about an employee there. Howard said look at this guy. Howard said he'll get back to Wendy. He let her go.
Wolfie asked Howard who the best leader is on the show. Howard said he's not sure. He said he thought he said ''eater'' and not leader. Howard said the best eater would be Benjy. Howard said he's not sure. Robin said Gary. Howard said maybe Will.
Wolfie had a list of things that make a great leader that he read off to Howard. Howard just said he doesn't know and let Wolfie go.
Howard said the Miss Universe pageant started and Steve Harvey read the list of rules. He said it's so boring. Howard played a clip of Steve reading about how the pageant was going to go this year. Howard said this was really dragging out. Howard said the music isn't helping. Howard said if he had to do that he'd just say ''Hottest chick wins. That's it.'' Howard said when Trump was in charge there were no rules like this. Howard said that's the Trump he wants back. He said that's the guy who runs Miss Universe.
Howard went through his own long list of ridiculous things that they could read at the start of the show. Howard said that's fuckin' weird. Robin said she's never heard a show open like that. Howard said Trump used to own that pageant and he had to get rid of it. Howard said he doesn't recall them doing anything like that. Robin said she thought the had the Miss Universe pageant.
Howard had Fred play some bad music to talk over like Steve Harvey did. While Fred looked for something Howard just played the Steve Harvey reading clip and goofed on that. Howard made up his own groups of women that they'd have on the show. Howard asked what the fuck that is.
Howard said he has more clips. He had one of an outgoing winner giving a speech. Howard said she thinks she represented the entire universe. Howard played that clip and said they had a whole segment pre-taped for the swimsuit competition. Howard said they were given a speech about that. Howard said these days you don't want to be in the competition because you're a piece of meat. Howard played a clip of some women talking about being a beauty queen and still being for empowering women.
Howard said being a hot chick is the best. Robin said she's sure all of the men are inspired too. Howard said they are. Howard played more women talking about why they participate in the swimsuit competition. They were talking about being perfectly imperfect and things like that. Robin said it's a beauty contest, that's it. Howard said lets get back to the rules.
Howard said the one woman who didn't understand her question was Miss Thailand. Howard played a clip of Steve Harvey asking her about the most important social movement and she talked about the youth being the future and how we have to invest in them. Howard said they got rid of her after that answer. Howard said her answer was basically ''Fuck old people.''
Howard said that was his report on the Miss Universe pageant. He said he'd like to see Trump get back into that. Howard said Hillary Clinton may be running it now.
Howard said he did want to say that Wendy has never met any of those people that she mentioned earlier. Howard said that was all made up. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
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Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Robin started off with a story about the serial killer story in Tampa. Robin said they do have tie to it with Brent going down and coming up empty handed. Robin said that Brent's name was not mentioned in the press conference. Howard said Brent is a quiet hero. He said he doesn't want any credit. Robin said that they have made an arrest. Robin had some audio of the police talking about the man they arrested. Robin said they explained how they found him too. Robin had more audio for Howard to play. Robin said the guy was trying to get a loan and he left his gun in a bag with a co-worker at McDonald's. Robin said the woman must have looked in the bag. She said the guy seemed weird so they looked in his bag.
Howard asked if Brent ate there at McDonald's. Brent came in and said he did not. He said that a lot of cops eat there though. He said that's why the patrolman was in there doing paperwork. Howard said Brent did think he could work at a McDonald's. He said he was so close. Robin had some audio of the Mayor talking about the serial killer. Brent said he hates this guy. He said he passed a law that said strippers had to stay 6 feet away from you in strip clubs. He said the strip clubs just ignore the law though. He said he's a bit of an authoritarian there. Howard let Brent go after that.
Robin asked if the late night wars are going to heat up now. Howard said he thinks they will. Robin said Stephen Colbert is still in the lead and Jimmy Fallon is struggling to stay in second because Jimmy Kimmel is on a charge. Howard said he didn't know that. He said maybe the late night hosts will put out hits on each other. Howard said he didn't know that was going on. He said the ratings aren't everywhere like they used to be. Howard said it's a war out there. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about NBC firing Today show host Matt Lauer. Robin said it's over sexual misconduct. Robin said that a female employee is claiming she was sexually assaulted during some Olympics coverage. Robin said she made a complaint on Monday and it was so overwhelmingly evident that the fired Matt on Tuesday. Robin said that nothing else has been said. Robin said the decision was made last night. Robin asked if Howard thinks he got any sleep. Howard said no way he got any sleep. Howard said maybe they should have done it on the air for ratings. He said they could have broken it to him that he was going to have a lot of free time. Howard said they could build an ejector seat into the set and shoot him out of there. He said shoot him across the ice rink. Gary said they have the Olympics coming up soon and they probably have stuff they did with Matt already that they'll have to trash. Robin said Megyn Kelly may take over for Matt since they spent so much money for her.
Howard said that Al Roker isn't doing anything over there. He said he's just flying under the radar. He said they'll call it Al and the Gals if they replace Matt with Al. Howard said Al may not even have genitals.
Robin said Andy Cohen back in 2012 asked Katie Couric what Matt's most annoying habit was. Robin had some audio of her saying he pinches her ass. Howard said that's not good. Howard said holy moly. Robin said that Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb made the announcement this morning that he was fired. Howard said he likes Hoda. He said he knows her. He said he'd put her in that spot. He said he's been around her and she's never been inappropriate with him. Robin said when Matt was in there they were all so happy to be together and it's awful to have people you like being exposed as people who aren't always appropriate. Howard said it does suck. Robin said they just want to be fun there. She said it's very had to have fun talking about your friends.
Howard said they have many pictures hanging up in their compound. One of them is Matt. Howard asked if they should take it down. Robin said yes. Howard said that's a good answer. Robin said that would be like having a picture of OJ up. Howard said they do actually. He said they won't smash it with a hammer though.
Robin said there's more Harvey Weinstein news. Howard said that guy did so many things it's getting boring. Robin said the new accuser is a woman who claims she was coaxed to Weinstein's room to look at her acting rule. Robin said he undressed her and touched her in the bathroom allegedly.
Howard asked if they should put a curtain over Matt's picture. He asked if they should take down George Takei's photo too. Robin said George is on a different level so no. She said they should take down Matt's photo. Robin had some audio of this actress talking about what happened with Harvey Weinstein.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they would take Matt's picture down if he's just accused and not convicted of anything. Robin asked if they have a picture of Louis C.K. Gary said they do not but they have one in the archives. Howard said he's just suggesting a curtain for now. He did a live commercial read after that. Howard joked that it was Matt who just called in.
Robin asked if Al Franken is the poster boy for the way to react. Howard said he thinks so. He said he handled it in the best way you can handle it. He said he thinks he was sincere and genuine. Robin said he diffused it immediately. Howard said he does admire that. Howard said he knows you're innocent until proven guilty. He said you have to think about this Roy Moore guy though. He said that he's disgusted by this. He said you have to vote for the democratic guy down there. He said he's not a left wing nut. He said he just believes a woman should have the right to an abortion. Howard said just vote this guy in.
Howard said that he was watching Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi and they were being too nice about this stuff. He said even they should be saying ''fuck you'' with what's going on.
Robin read about how they're calling for this Congressman Conyers who is being accused of making advances toward a woman. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the FCC coming after Howard and why they're not against this Roy Moore thing if he's innocent until proven guilty. Howard said if you have 7 women come forward and they seem credible then there's enough there to not want him in the government. Howard said he doesn't get the separation of church and state either. The caller said you have the right to prove you're innocent until proven guilty. Howard said they're having an election though. Howard said they should look at this other guy and not vote for a guy who was thrown off the bench twice. Howard said that's just not right. Howard said this is a group of women who aren't known for making wacky accusations. He said he's not the best guy for the job. Howard said he has waved a gun around on stage. He also dresses like a Howdy Doody guy. The caller also mentioned the Matt Lauer thing and how they should wait to see if he's guilty or not before taking down his picture.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he knows Robin is doing her Christmas album and he thinks she should do Mariah Carey's ''All I Want for Christmas.'' Robin said it's on the list. Howard said the picture they have of Matt in the office also has Savannah Guthrie in it. It's not fair to take it down. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about North Korea firing a new missile saying that it can reach all of the mainland. Howard said he did hear about that. Howard said they should hang pictures of guys like that in the hall. Robin said they have said that they can carry a nuclear warhead to all of the US. Howard asked if we're going to war. Robin said Trump said we are going to handle this.
Howard took a call from a fake Trump who tried to do some funny stuff by saying they're sending the slant a bomb. Howard cut him off and moved on.
Robin read more about this North Korea thing and said that they're saying that they pose a great risk to us and other countries.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Imus impression going off on Robin for making fun of him earlier with a cowboy hat comment. Robin said that was not a good Imus impression.
Robin read a story about a team of scientists who have created artificial muscles that could give robots super strength. Howard said this is what he's talking about. Howard said he needs those muscles. Robin said that this thing can lift 1000 times its own weight. Howard said he knew it. Fred played some Ronnie the Robot clips. He had him saying he was going to stick it in Robin's ass. Howard said that Ronnie the Robot is going to replace Matt Lauer.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's had stuff happen to her and she thinks that these women are slutty to sleep with Harvey for a part. She said they should have some respect for themselves. Howard said they didn't go up for sex. He said they went up for meetings. The caller asked if they could have said no. Robin said some women said a ''no'' wasn't enough. Howard said he knows women who have been assaulted and never told anyone. The caller said she has too. She said she spoke up right away. Howard said he knows women who did not and they had good reasons for that. The caller said she's not saying it didn't happen but she doesn't get why a woman wouldn't stand up for herself. Howard let her go a short time later.
Robin read a story about a serious bug in the latest Mac OS. Robin said it allows access to the computer without a password. Robin said Apple is working on a fix.
Howard said he found a woman who was never sexually assaulted. It was Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard asked if she ever has been. Mariann said she never has. She said just listen to her voice. Mariann said that Ryan Seacrest also had some charges against him and he has orange hair now. Howard asked if she's accusing him of coloring his hair. Mariann said she is. Howard said he saw him the other day and he looked as handsome as ever. Howard said it didn't appear he was coloring his hair either. He didn't say where he saw Ryan.
Robin read a story about the Supreme Court hearing a case about collecting data on wireless companies. Robin asked if Howard is for that. Howard said he's all for it. He had Robin explain it to him because he was too worn out from the show. Howard said he's not looking for trouble. He said he's not getting involved in a case and becoming a witness. Robin read more about this case and told Howard how it ended up in the Supreme Court.
Robin read a story about the big tax bill moving to the floor of the senate. Robin said that they hope to have it passed by week's end.
Robin read a story about how you may get better sleep if you crack a window. Howard said that he wanted to get his parents a security system because they've been robbed like 4 times. Howard said they can't leave a window open because of that. Robin said the air flow lowers carbon dioxide levels and that helps with sleep. Howard said he and his wife are always freezing but they hate having the heat on. Howard said he bundles up like a mummy.
Robin read about how young football players can have a measurable change in the brain after just one season of playing. Howard said you can't let them play. He said that if you let your kid play it's like child abuse. Howard said Gary let his kids play. He said he asked him why he let them play. Gary said they didn't know then what they know now. Howard said he told him. Gary said he's a genius. Robin asked if Gary played. Gary said he did. Robin said there you go. Howard asked if he would let them play now. Gary said it would be a tough decision to make. Howard said he doesn't get that. He said he wouldn't let his cats play football. Howard said join the wrestling team if you want some body contact.
Robin read a story about going to a restaurant with pictures of food on a menu. Howard said you know you're not in a good restaurant. He said they're usually covered in plastic too. Robin said people are more likely to overeat if they see a menu with pictures of food on it. Robin said they did a study about that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 10:55am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.