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Howard started the show talking about how Robin is there. He said good for her. Robin said she thought she'd just show up. Howard said good for her. He said they have a big week this week. He said they'll be live on Thursday. Robin asked if they'll put that in his obituary. Howard said everyone is excited about it. Howard played a bit about his one extra day this week. Howard said that gives him the chills. He said it's going to be a good show. He said they'll play everything they haven't gotten to. Howard said it's like a spring cleaning day but not in spring.
Howard said in any given week he has stuff he wants to play but then he doesn't play it and it piles up in the computer. Howard said they're going to get to Howard Page 15 and work their way backward. Howard said it's just stuff they haven't gotten to. Howard said on Thursday the guys in the back will sit in the studio and he'll play the stuff he hasn't gotten to yet.
Howard said Robin works in this glass booth and on Thursday they're gong to have her step out of there and talk about her new collection of songs. He said they'll also meet her producer. Robin wasn't sure who that was. Howard said he heard Robin does one take only and she does that under protest.
Howard said he was listening to music this weekend while he was painting. He said he was putting himself down for not being a good painter. Howard said most of the great painters over the years have been surrounded by other painters. Howard said he took it up like 3 years ago. He said hew as surrounded by people yelling at him and humiliating him. He said he has had no preparation in this area at all. He said he was talking to a guy who paints and he told him that kids are taught to paint but his father never did anything like that. Howard said he's kind of behind the 8 ball when it comes to paining. He said he's trying to figure it all out.
Howard said the point is that he was working his way through painting and he was listening to music. He said that song ''Plowed'' by Sponge is so great. He said it gets him every time. Howard said he wonders where those guys are now. He said they wrote such a great song and now they're nowhere. Howard said they should have followed up with something. Howard had Fred play the song.
Howard said he gets really sad when he hears this song. He said he's not even sure what the guy is saying. He said it makes him nuts that they can do this song and not have other hits. Robin said the rarity is someone like Billy Joel or someone like that who can do it over and over. Howard said they had that band in there years ago with that song about the girl going to Mars. Howard said that was Hum. He said they were treating him like a dick. Robin said they walked out after smashing their instruments on the ground. Howard said they had to put their drummer in the hall back then at K-Rock.
Howard said Sponge is playing in Poughkeepsie this weekend. Howard said they should just play this song over and over.
Howard said he was so into Hum when they came in but they weren't friendly. Howard said you would have thought they were the Stones. Howard said they were young kids and you'd think they'd be excited to be on a big radio show. Howard said they were just like ''Fuck you'' and they were getting out of there. Howard wondered what they're dong now. Fred said they hum.
Fred said that Sponge is going to be in Amityville in December. Howard said he'd go but he doesn't know their other music. Howard said he'd go to see them perform ''Plowed.'' Howard said they probably save that for the end and they probably hate doing it. Robin said they probably think they have other great stuff that no one wants to hear.
Howard said Amy Mann was so hot back in the day. He said she had some solo hits and songs with Till Tuesday. Howard said she was hot and he was listening to a track she does that he goes crazy for. He said he wanted to find different performances of that song. Robin asked if he watches videos when he paints. Howard said sometimes he walks away from the painting for a while.
Howard asked Fred for the song from Hum. Fred played the song ''Stars.'' Howard said they weren't bad guys but they had an attitude. Howard said when he hears this song he wants to drop to his knees. Robin asked what he wants to do then. Howard said maybe cry. Howard said he thinks this song is about someone who is mentally ill. Fred played some Wendy the Slow Adult clips over the song.
JD came in and said he looked up an interview and the guy who wrote ''Plowed'' was shoveling snow and it took him 5 minutes to write the song. Howard said that's fucking crazy. He said it's about shoveling snow. He said that blows his mind. Howard said he wishes he could go back in time because JD just ruined the song for him. Howard played the song over again. He listened to the lyrics and said it can't be about shoveling snow. Howard asked what he's saying in the lyrics. Robin was trying to figure it out. Howard said he thinks he garbled it so people wouldn't know it was about shoveling snow. Robin said maybe he was hoping he wouldn't be doing that the rest of his life.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's an art teacher in New Jersey and she has seen some of Howard's stuff and she thinks he's really talented. She said he's not as bad as he thinks. Howard said if he could have grown up around artists he'd have a facility for painting. He thanked her for the call. Robin asked what age she would put Howard at. She said that he's as talented as her most talented high school students. Howard asked why so many teachers are sleeping with ether students. The caller said they kind of keep you feeling young. She said maybe that's it. She said maybe it's that you're more popular. Robin said that was a very good answer. Howard said that was good.
Howard said he just painted a picture of a cat looking out the window. He said it's really good. He said it's a tiny painting about 5x7 or something like that. He said it's little. Robin asked if he has to scale down. Howard said he has to take a photograph and paint that. He said he paints from the picture. He said he's not sure how someone just looks at something and paints it. He said the cat will move.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he would sell his paintings. Howard said he doesn't think he'd do that. Howard said he has asked people if they would buy something and they'd offer him a couple hundred bucks. He said they're worth more than that. He said he'd rather just keep them.
Howard said he should show Robin the painting. Robin said she likes his paintings. Robin said she doesn't know art very well though. Howard said he wants to be an expert and a great painter. Howard said you need more time. Howard said Robin might have to get up and walk over there. Howard said that's good though because she has to walk some of her 15,000 steps. He said Robin sent him proof that she walked 17,000 steps the other day. Howard said Beth was saying that it's nuts that she gets out of her car at a rest stop to walk around.
Howard told Robin to come over and look at this painting. Howard said he likes his iPhone with the FaceID that works all the time except now. Howard had a painting of his cat Apple who died. Howard said she's gazing outside. Robin really liked it. Howard said it's better than a high school student. Howard said that's something. He said he might do a big one of that. Robin said it's very good with the little hairs and all of that. Howard asked how much Robin would give him. Robin said she'll give him $250. Howard said how dare you insult him.
Howard said Todd Macfarlane says he's good too. Robin said he really is. Robin said it's major advancement from what she's seen before. Howard said he's going to get there. Robin said she tried to learn piano. Robin said that's impossible at her age. Howard said he can't believe that those little dots on the 5 lines are notes. Robin said reading music and using both hands is hard. Robin said she doesn't know how to use this hand. Howard said no one does. Howard said he kind of gets guitar.
Howard said this is a band called The Wind and the Wave covering a Snow Patrol song called ''Chasing Cars.'' Howard played the song and said he's not sure what they're singing about either. Howard said he never tries. Howard played the song and said he gets real sad when he hears this. He said everything is sad in this world right now. He said it's sad and dark. He said the sexual harassment and the world situation is sad. He said people are getting blown up, earthquakes...
Howard asked Robin if she knew that Bob Dylan wrote ''Bowing in the Wind'' while he was cleaning his gutters. Howard played more of the Wind and the Wave song. Howard said he forgets about the world when he's laying there with Beth. Howard said if he's just laying there then he remembers the world. He said he has to have sex.
Howard played more of the song and said that's why he doesn't get the Harvey Weinstein thing. Howard said he had such a beautiful wife and he should have just been there with her. Howard said it would have been great if he could have forgotten the world and just been with her. Howard said he's too hungry for everything. He said he's eating and jerking off on everything. Howard said it's a nightmare. Howard said he learned that in therapy. Robin said it's also a recipe for disaster.
Howard wondered if women know that when you're married to Harvey that he's up to something creepy. Robin said yes. Howard said his behavior is just weird. Robin said you can't hide it all the time. Robin said Howard knows you can't hide stuff when you're in a relationship. Howard said serial killers are able to hide that.
Howard said there's a show on Netflix called Mindhunter that's really good. Robin said she doesn't have time for that. She said she's busy walking now. Howard said it's too cold out now. Robin said she's in the gym walking to a tape or something. Howard said he watched Mindhunter in 2 days. He said he binged on that out of his mind. Robin said that The Punisher is coming out this week. Howard said Mindhunter is about the FBI and how they came up with profiling. Howard said it's good.
Howard played more ''Chasing Cars'' and tried to figure out the lyrics for a few seconds.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was going to call in to talk about art being subjective. He said what's great to one person may not be to another. He said Howard's stuff is probably shit. He said he's never seen it before but it's probably shit. The caller said that what he would suggest is... Howard hung up on him.
Howard said he did a painting of some barns that came out really good. Howard said some people paint on the level of a 2 year old. Robin said that she has gone through some museums with art teachers and sometimes it's just the idea and not the execution that makes it great. Robin said that sometimes someone didn't think to do that before. Howard said that's all bullshit. Howard said he'll set her straight.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he grew up loving Bob Ross. He said he thinks Howard should go on and have a painting with Howard Stern show. Howard said it would be boring. Howard said Bob Ross did the biggest disservice to people. Howard said it's very misleading. Howard said you have to know how to draw before you paint. Howard said things don't work like Bob Ross shows you. Howard said he's not a teacher either. Howard said he wants to get off the painting subject.
Howard said the painting he just showed Robin took him months to paint. Howard said if you take shortcuts you don't learn anything. He said you need years of study. He said it's ridiculous.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they're awesome and they save her awful commute. She said they take away her road rage. She said what they're doing makes things so much better. She said breaking down the songs is great because they have no idea what they're talking about. Howard said he thought other people did know what they were singing about. Howard said he has no idea what they're even saying. The caller said that you think it means one thing and then find out about what it really means and it's not the right thing.
The caller brought up Steven Seagal and how he's being accused of sexual misconduct. Howard said that the Louis C.K. thing is really bumming him out. The caller was talking about agents who were sending out starlets to these guys and they were wrong too. Howard said he was talking to Robin over the weekend about this. He said that the sexual harassment thing is that it might filter down to everyone in the fast food restaurants and all of that. Howard said that you hope that maybe some guy in a regular job isn't doing that stuff. Howard said he doesn't want his kids being pressured into stuff like that.
Howard said he and Robin were talking about Louie and how he was into some freaky jerking off stuff. Howard said it's so overwhelming. The caller said she thinks it's about every insecure men who get to a level where they can do whatever they feel like and it's not about the person they're with but they don't have the ability to control themselves.
Howard said he thinks he had a mother who didn't make him an angry fuck. Howard said in the Mindhunter show it seems like these guys were angry at their mothers and they take it out on other women.
Howard said he can't imagine going up to a woman and whipping his cock out and jerk off. Howard said he did a poll over the weekend with some women. He said he was wondering if you ask about jerking off if that's different. Howard said showing your dick to a woman is a bad idea. He said they don't get turned on by that. Howard said we get turned on by seeing naked women. Women don't get turned on by naked men unless it's Brad Pitt. The caller said that it's not about getting them interested in them in that way, it's just about being able to degrade and demoralize them. Howard said you look like a dickwad doing that. The caller said they've gotten away with it for years. She said that they just take for years and years. She said it's a conversation that's been long delayed. Howard said she sounds like Millie Bobby Brown's agent. Howard did his impression of the guy with the Chicago accent.
Robin said she thinks that the woman who hosted Saturday Night Live this week had a good take on it. Robin said she said if the woman is still dressed and you have your dick out, you're wrong. Howard said he made sure that women never saw his dick. He said even if they were having sex he'd keep it hidden. He said no one wants to see that. Howard said it's a mess down there. He asked why anyone would want to see that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Mindhunter show is great. He also asked if he watched Ozark on Netflix. Howard said he didn't. Howard said he knows he has to see that. He said he heard it's real good. Howard said someone wrote in and asked if he works for Netflix the way he talks about Millie Bobby Brown. Howard said he doesn't but he's impressed with what they have done over there. Howard said he had gotten rid of Netflix but they went to the original programming and they did it. He said it's crazy. Howard said years ago he dropped it because they changed their price and he was buying from iTunes. Robin said she hated mailing the DVD thing.
Howard said they know Louie C.K. and he and Robin and he and Beth were talking about him. Howard said they really admired Louie. Howard said he wonders if jerking off is ruined for him. He said he might want to go to bed and jerk off but he can't do it because it's ruined his career. Howard said he watched his new movie that came out and it was really good. Robin said she read an article about a woman who had watched the move before the allegations came out and then after the allegations came out she changed her tune. Robin said masturbation was talked about in the movie. Howard said it was kind of weird watching it. Howard said it's a whole thing.
Howard said George Takei was accused of things too. Howard said he's not sure where that's going to end up. Howard said it's crazy what's going on.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would go out to dinner with Louie. Howard said that's what he and Robin were talking about. He said he really likes Louie. He said he never wants to be in a position where a woman says he's condoning these activities. Howard said he's not saying it's okay. Howard said any woman who he had sex with wanted to have sex with him. He said he's not saying that he's wonderful but he thinks that these women wanted to do it.
The caller asked if Louie can recover from this. Howard said he thinks Louie could do something. He said everything is so new and upside down. He said when Hillary was running against Donald Trump a tape came out and he said now that he's famous that he can grab women by the pussy. Howard said 16 women came forward and said he did stuff. Trump went on to become president and Billy Bush lost his job. Howard said he thinks women were blown away by this and it empowered women to come out. Howard said Rose McGowan came out and that set things off to all of that. Robin said she thinks that they took it back to the Anita Hill testimony and how the guy still became a supreme court justice. Robin said the women are marginalized and the guy goes on to be successful. Howard said Monica Lewinsky too. He said that he loved Bill Clinton as president but he marginalized what she said he did. Howard said she was branded a slut at 20-something. Howard said people really fucked her life up. Howard said he thinks women have had enough.
Howard said he has Kevin Spacey on the phone. He had the guys in the back playing clips of a fake Kevin (who sounded nothing like Spacey) going through the sexual harassment stuff with Howard.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said he didn't realize what time it was. Robin said that they were also talking about Mel Gibson and how his career seems to have been resurrected. Robin said they have a lack of long term memory in Hollywood. Howard said he's in some movie that made a big amount of money. Robin said he was in a movie that made 10 million. Robin said they say that Hollywood will do anything to make a buck and Mel has a track record of making money with movies. Robin said they say that he has worked hard at getting his life in order. Robin said when they write these articles they forget about the assault charge that he settled. Robin said he was accused of assaulting his girlfriend and the mother of his daughter.
Howard said they had Mel Gibson on Good Morning America and they didn't bring any of that up. Howard played some audio from that interview. They had a bunch of the questions they asked Mel and he wasn't asked about any of that stuff. Howard had a clip from Conan O'Brien interviewing Mel and asking about pranks he pulled. Robin said people are just laughing with Mel and have forgotten about everything else. Robin said maybe Kevin Spacey can work things out some day.
Howard asked Gary if he knows not to sexually harass women at work. Gary said no and he talks to them at work. Howard said he's not going to get into this. He said he bets he knows. Gary said he's been there almost 13 years. Howard asked Gary if he wants to kiss a girl if he knows he has to ask first. Gary said yes. Robin said if she says now then what. Gary said you don't do it. Howard said Gary is retarded and he knows.
Howard asked Gary if he has ever taken his penis out and started jerking off. Gary said he'd get fired if he did that. Howard said he can do it if it's part of consensual sex. Howard said Gary knows the difference. Gary asked if Howard is going to go off the air. Howard said at some point he will. Howard said he will retire at some point. Gary said he heard him on the radio yesterday saying he will go off. Howard said at some point he will. Gary asked if he's really going go to that. Howard said he will.
Howard said Gary is his life coach and he talks to him about this stuff. Howard said Gary can't work the rest of his life at Burgerville. Gary said he's been there for 13 years. Howard said he does a whole thing there. Howard said he works in the parking lot and clans up out there. Howard said that's something he doesn't understand. Gary said it rains there a lot and he works in the rain.
Howard said he admires Gary. He said he takes some public assistance but he's also out there working. Gary said he's out there working his butt off and no one appreciates it. He said Howard and Robin do but no one else does. Howard said that these people have no idea how things get cleaned there. Howard said that in a couple of years he may leave radio. He said they will listen to his Wolfie interviews in a couple of days.
Gary asked if Howard is going to leave TV too. He was asking if they're going to start the TV show again. Howard said they are working on that. Howard said it was supposed to be months ago but they're trying to get it right. Gary said he wants to see that too. Howard said he'll make sure he gets it.
Gary said he wants a new laptop too. Howard said he wants something from him for Christmas. Gary said he needs a new laptop. Robin asked if Howard can get anything from him if he needs it. Howard said he needs $1000. Gary said he needs it too. Howard said they can call it even then. Howard said he really has to go. Howard said he knows Gary needs that laptop for jerking off. He said he should have asked about that.
Howard said he has to take a break and get to a lot of stuff. Howard said High Pitch Erik is on the phone and he has to talk to him about the surgery he had. Howard said he's sure Erik isn't going to lose weight. Howard said there are people he knows who gained weight after having that surgery. Howard said he's not sure who paid for the operation but it must be the tax payers. Howard said he thinks Erik is out of the hospital already. Howard said he's skinny and ripped already. Howard said for as long as he remembers people have been looking for an easy way to get skinny. Howard said that they have been doing this forever. Howard said that's not how it works. He said you have to work for it.
Howard said there used to be a belt that people would put on their belly to get rid of fat. He said his dad would talk about how you have to wrap that around your mouth and don't eat. Howard said he has to get to spots. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard said before he gets to High Pitch Erik he has to talk to Paul about his gastric bypass. Howard tried taking the call but Paul wasn't there. Howard said he must be doing something wrong.
Howard had High Pitch Erik on the line. Erik said he's being discharged this morning from the hospital. He said he's been there since Friday night. He said he was supposed to start at 12:30 but then they moved it to 1:30 and then 7pm. He said the doctor was behind. Howard asked if he was upset about that. Erik said he was nervous about the anesthesia. He said he hates the smell of it. Erik said he hates the smell of the gas.
Howard said Shuli covered the surgery. Howard said he might want to come in to talk about it. Erik said he had the anesthesiologist contact him the night before. He said he asked for him to change the smell of it to chocolate or something. Howard asked Erik how hot he is now. Erik said he had a lot of fluids in him and that made him gain weight. He said the IV bag made him gain. Howard said it's not a slam dunk with everyone. Howard said that he knows 2 or 3 guys who had this done and some people gain weight. Erik said he had a bowl of soup yesterday and he was full.
Shuli came in and Erik told him that he's never felt full before. He said this is new for him. Howard asked who paid for this. Shuli said it was the tax payers. Howard said maybe that's why they put it off so long. Howard said he has had a needle in his arm when they put you out. Shuli said for Erik they did use gas. Erik said they gave him a gas mask and put a tube down his throat.
Howard said he has audio of Erik screaming when he gets a needle in his arm. Erik said he hates needles. Howard said it's in the least painful part of your body. Howard played the clip and Erik was yelling ''Ouch!'' when the nurse put it in his arm. Howard asked who even says ''Ouch'' anymore. Howard said he just grunts when he has pain. Howard said they should have just sent Erik home. He said Erik acts like he's in a comic book. Shuli was telling Erik to take it easy and he'll be fine.
Howard said he likes that they're about to cut his belly open and he can't handle a shot. Howard asked how long the surgery took. Erik said it was like 2 or 3 hours. Howard said they put a sleeve over his stomach. Howard said if he gets skinny will that phlegm go away. Shuli did his impression of Erik and had Howard cracking up. Howard asked if Erik has shit yet. Erik said no. Shuli said he walked into the bathroom with him and he wasn't able to go. Howard said Erik must shit like 7 times a day. Erik said he does. He said that he can't eat that much now.
Howard said that he's actually been asleep for 100 years and now it's 2117. He said everyone else has gotten dumber and Erik is the smartest guy.
Shuli said he knows Erik pretty well and he thinks he's going to pull this off. He said he's usually out of this stuff in 2 or 3 days. Howard said he thought that people got sick if they eat too much. Howard said it works for some people like Rosie O'Donnell but some people are able to gain weight. Howard said he thinks Erik is going to be that guy. Erik asked what they ate to put the weight back on. Howard said he's not going to tell him. He said if he continues to drink soda he's going to keep the weight.
Shuli said they weighted him a few weeks ago and he was 396. He was down to 378 when he went into the hospital. He said he was on a diet for the week before he had the surgery and he thinks he can do it. Howard said he doesn't think it's going to work. He said there is no magic pill. He said you have to stick with it.
Howard asked Shuli about trying to weigh Erik and breaking the scale. Shuli said that it read 4.4 pounds. He said he stood on it and it read 0. He said it just broke. Shuli said he was interviewing Erik at one pint and he rested the microphone on his belly and it looked like a Lav microphone on his big belly.
Erik said he has to stick to special food when he goes home. He said he'll be skinny by next week. Shuli said they had Erik in a suite up in the hospital and it was the nicest room that could fit like 50 people in it. Howard said he thought that he'd have shitty accommodations. He said that some people must know the show and got him in there. Erik said it's the bariatric care unit floor. He said how about next week he comes in and he'll show how skinny he is. Howard said sure. Erik said he can eat plain yogurt and things like that. He said he can have sugar free Jell-o too.
Howard asked if Erik fell in love with any of his doctors. Erik said he didn't. Howard said those dudes must have been good looking. Erik said they didn't look like Donnie.
Howard asked Erik what he's going to have for Thanksgiving. He said he can't eat a regular meal. Erik said he might have to have baby food. Howard got a laugh out of that. Howard did his impression of Erik talking about that.
Robin asked when Erik can eat solid food again. Erik said in a month. He said he can have a tiny piece of chicken or something.
Erik said that they had to put a catheter up his penis because he wasn't able to pee. He said it felt like someone jerking him off when they took it off him. Howard said he doubts that's what it feels like when someone is jerking you off. Howard said his biggest fear is having a tube up his dick. Howard asked why he wasn't able to pee. Erik said it was from the operation. Howard asked if he was yelling ''Ouch'' to that too. Erik said he was. Shuli said he wasn't allowed in there at that time.
Howard said Richard Simmons is there and he has some advice for Erik. Howard thought he was there live but he was on the phone. It was Sour Shoes but he wasn't there when Howard picked up.
Shuli told Erik to tell Howard what he talked about when he came out of surgery. Erik said he wanted sushi and he realized he can't have it again.
Howard took a call from a guy whose cell phone was cutting out. Howard said all of this tech is ruining his show.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's calling because she had that surgery and she's concerned for Erik. She said Erik has no idea what he's talking about. She said they cut out part of your stomach. Howard said he thought they put a sleeve in there. The caller said that they changed the size of his stomach. Shuli said that Erik reached the limit of what he ate and he felt full. The caller said it took her a year to lose 70 pounds. She said Erik has to listen and don't force it. She said if you start plowing stuff in it's not going to work. Erik said he's going to listen and do what he's told.
Howard asked if the caller has excess skin hanging off of her. She said that she didn't have a big problem with that. She said she was 220 pounds and she was short. She said Erik may have to go in for surgery to remove skin. Shuli said that he took a shot of Erik's ass in the bathroom last night. He showed it to Robin and Howard. Howard just let out an ''oooo'' when he saw it.
Howard took a call from a fake caller who asked them to stop fat shaming Erik. Howard said they're not. Howard said that sounds like Sour Shoes but it doesn't sound like Richard Simmons.
Erik kept asking if he can come in next week to show the new me. Erik said he'll be in the 370s by next week. Howard said Erik was up there around 400 pounds. Robin said he thinks he'll be 370 by next week. Howard said maybe he will lose some weight if he's not drinking the sodas and all of that. Erik said they give him water, tea, Gatorade and all of that. He said his meds have to be crushed because he can't swallow them.
Howard wished Erik luck with all of this. Erik said maybe he'll see him next week. Howard wished him luck again and let him go.
Howard let Shuli go and did a live commercial read before taking another break.
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Howard said he gets a kick out of Robin. He said he loves that she tries. He said that will be a very special show on Thursday. He said he's coming in on a day he doesn't usually come in on.
Howard said John McCain wants to thank him. He took a call from fake McCain who was thanking him for making the ultimate sacrifice of working 4 days a week. Howard spent a little more time with fake McCain clips. McCain said that Howard has made the ultimate sacrifices waking up early and mocking retarded people.
Howard said many people are excited about the interview he'll be doing with Robin. Robin said they're looking forward to hearing the stuff he has to play. Howard said he has pages and pages of this stuff to play. He said he has games, Wolfie interviews and much more. He said he has the AVN awards page and the top 5 songs and things like that. Howard said he has 9 additional reserve pages to get to on Thursday. He said he may not get through one page. He said this is what they'll be doing on the extra show.
Howard said he wants to get to some of it now. Howard played a phony phone call to a radio show where they took tape of his voice and called into a money show on the internet. In the clip the guys called into this internet show and had Howard saying that he got scabies and his whole body was infested and he had to get a doctor and he's broke now. He asked to borrow some money from the host. The host hung up and they called right back over and over again.
Howard said that's so great. He said what else is great is this whole bit they're doing with Scott the Engineer where they ask him to talk about his day. Howard said it's mind boggling what happens to him. Howard said all of these guys in the news over the sexual harassment stuff had a bad weekend but so did Scott.
Howard played the latest bit where Scott talks about how bad his day was. He said at 5am he was stuck in traffic behind a garbage truck. He also talked about putting his seat back and it broke and he fell backwards and fucked up his back and got coffee on his clean white shirt. Scott got to work and had his Cheerios and milk and the milk was spoiled. He almost vomited. He got home that day and made an apple pie and about 10 minutes in he heard the smoke detector going off. His apple pie was burnt to a crisp. That was his day in review.
Howard said there were a bunch of things in there. He said Scott's ''hello'' was so sad. Howard said he's a mess. He said Scott says he kicked back and had DVR'd s a bunch of Met games. Howard asked who would watch old Met games. Robin said maybe they're incredible games he saved. Howard said he knows guys who bought old Yankee games. Robin said she watches some old tennis matches. Robin said they were amazing matches. Robin said she can't watch the whole thing because she has to get out and walk.
Howard said Scott talks about his work station and the lever on his seat in the car. Howard said he's a depressing guy. He said that was his day. Howard played another Scott bit where he sang ''It's a Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood.''
Howard said Ross works hard on all of that there. Howard said Gary works very hard too. He said they ended up at this baseball event and it sounds like a nightmare to him. He said giving up a night of your life for this sounds like a nightmare. He said that they all suck each other off at these award shows. Howard said he doesn't show up to get award shows. Robin said doctors don't have anything like that. Howard said they actually do. He said he was at one this weekend. He said these guys are congratulating each other on fielding. Gar said it's a source of pride for these guys.
Howard asked who was there. Gary said Joe Torre, Derek Jeter, Ozzy Harrison and others were at the table next to them. Howard said that's impressive. Gary said there were a lot of current guys and other legends there.
Howard said that Gary and Ross were there and they brought JD there too. Howard said JD works hard and he got to go with Gary and Ross. Howard said Gary said Ross was going nuts because he's not used to hanging with JD. Howard said JD laughs inappropriately and it's kind of a whoop thing. He said that he whoops once in awhile and he's not sure why he does it. Howard said you have no idea why he does it. Howard said Ross and Gary are there and they're sitting there with JD and he starts whooping. Howard said he thinks he might have Tourette's or something. He said Ross was asking what's with this fucking guy because it's kind of embarrassing.
Gary said Ross kept giving him the elbow like he was asking ''what the fuck?'' He said that JD let out a whoop during a speech and Ross was like ''what the fuck?''
JD said that Dave Winfield was sitting next to him and he made a sound like ''Ayy'' it wasn't a whoop. Gary said it was a whoop. JD said he doesn't know what to do then Mr. Sensitive. He said he finds stuff funny and he's not sure what to do. He said Dave Winfield was muttering to himself too and he was being funny too. He said he did a Weinstein joke and it made him laugh. Howard asked if he whooped after it. JD said of course he did. Fred was playing JD's whoop during this conversation.
Howard said JD is the worst at social interaction. He asked how long it took for him to mention that he's from the Howard Stern Show. JD said he wasn't even talking to him. He said Dave was making him laugh though.
Howard asked if Ross was annoyed by this. Gary said Ross pointed it out and said he might have Tourette's because he wasn't laughing during funny stuff. JD said he wasn't making a laugh about something funny. He said he felt good for Winfield and he may have made some noise because he was sitting near Winfield when his name was announced. Robin wondered if they had any eye contact. JD said he laughed pretty hard at the Weinstein joke and he did acknowledge him after that.
Howard said he might have to start whooping to. Howard tried it. JD said he's sorry if he embarrassed Ross at the event. He said they don't have to hang out ever again.
Howard asked JD if he has heard he whoops at inappropriate times. JD said he has had people say things to him. He said that he knows he might whoop at the wrong times. Howard said they should take JD out to more events to find out if he whoops at funerals and things. JD said that would be out of ''uncomfortableness.'' Howard said it's called discomfort. Howard said that sound he makes it like a pigeon. Fred played a snowy owl sound and it was like JD. Howard asked if he can mix JD in with the owl. Fred tried that. He had JD hooting over the owl. Robin said she's not sure what the owl is laughing at.
Howard asked if JD laughs at the movies like that. JD said he might. He said he doesn't go to the theater a lot. JD said he thinks Gary and Ross were sensitive to what he was doing.
Howard said he thought Ross moved to L.A. Gary said he did but he was in town for the Taylor Swift event. Howard said he heard about that event. He said he saw the guys were writing back and forth about that.
Fred was still playing owl sounds. Howard asked what he was playing. Fred said it must be looking for something. It was making an odd sound. Nothing like JD.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that this show Atypical on Netflix is about a kid with autism and he thinks that JD might have a form of it. JD said they've talked about this before. Howard said that there are some people who are on the spectrum. He said that they make it sound like it's kind of cool.
Ralph said he has a list of why JD has it. He ran down a long list of things that JD does that make it seem like he might be Autistic. Howard asked if he's ever been diagnosed. JD said no. He said he doesn't need millions of people knowing about this.
Howard said he heard that JD wanted to get out of there when Taylor Swift came up there last week. JD said he didn't want to be part of the madness. Howard said he read about how locked down they had the place last week. He said they had curtains hanging up and all of that so people wouldn't see her. Howard said she must not be able to function in her life. Howard said he wishes they could do that for him up there. Howard said they once had everyone come out and applaud him when he showed up. He said he hates that because he doesn't know what to do when they're clapping. Howard said Taylor got better treatment than he does up there.
Howard read another note about how they had an employee holding a scented candle and asking for white rose petals up there. Howard read what this employee was saying about having to go to another floor to get to work. Howard said they have a lobby up there and he'd like a complete floor lock down for him too.
Howard said that he's getting upset about this because they forget about him up there after being there so long. Howard said they even cleaned the bathrooms for Taylor Swift's people. Howard read the notes about what this employee was writing about what was going on up there. They closed the bathrooms on the 36th floor for an hour and a half. Howard said they had to go to the 37th floor. Howard said he wants this kind of treatment.
Robin said if they want everyone to perform like Taylor Swift they should treat them like her. Howard said he heard that Scott Greenstein had someone executed when they farted on the 36th floor. Howard said they have a photographing area outside their area. Howard said they always grab him to take a picture. He said he doesn't want to do that. He said he wants to get to where he has to go and he looks like shit so he doesn't want to do it.
Howard said Taylor gets some treatment around there. Robin said she's not getting as much radio play now but she still sold 700,000 copies of her album on the day of the release. Ralph asked if anyone saw her and if she looked hot. Howard said of course she's hot. Howard said he would have liked to have heard her cover the song ''American Girl.'' Howard said she has to be hot. He asked Will because he saw her up there.
Will came in and said she's smoking hot. He said she's tall and she has bigger boobs than he thought. He said he and Sal were walking out and they saw her. Will said there were like 1000 people in the lobby and he can't imagine she cared about the rose petals or anything. Howard read that they were on her piano. Howard said he really should be treated like this up there. Will said Howard is the most important person up there.
Howard said he's not sure why they don't treat him like that. Howard said this is good for business to treat someone like that up there. Howard said he's just upset he doesn't get that up there. Robin said they should all line up and carry Howard out. Howard said he'd rather hang himself. JD said they'd all have their hands on him. Howard said Letterman never treated him that well. Robin said they made him go out past the garbage because Sharon Stone didn't want to see him. Howard said he thinks they tricked him and got him out of there.
Howard said he's going to demand that they wheel him out in a Trojan horse out of there. Howard said they can wheel him out. Howard said he can have Ronnie wheel him out of there. Ralph was cracking up.
Howard asked Will what he thinks about JD's whooping. Will said there's something going on there. He said that he's just a goofball. Howard asked if he was ever tested in school for being on the spectrum. He wasn't even sure what that meant. Robin said there's a scale and you can be barely on the scale or full blown and can't do anything. She said they can say you might be on the spectrum. Howard said JD might have one foot on the spectrum. Howard played a JD song parody to the tune of the Seinfeld theme song with JD's sounds and laughs in it.
Howard said Insane Clown Posse has ''Whoop, Whoop'' and JD has his own ''hoot, hoot.'' He asked Fred to mix that up with JD's hoot and the owl hoot. Fred said he was just looking up the Taylor Swift cover of ''American Girl.'' He had a version that he played for Howard but it wasn't the version she did live there. Howard said he'd rather hear what she did there. He let the song play for a short time though.
Howard said speaking of singers... and played the promo for Thursday's show where they'll be playing Robin's new album. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he thinks that he needs the cigarette for his character. Howard said Dice also said he's going to hang around young people instead of his old friends who sit around talking about their medical situations. Howard said he just wants young, new buddies. Howard said get well soon to Dice. Fred played High Pitch Erik saying ''Ouch!'' after that.
Howard said Tan Mom is so out of control that she's too out of control. Howard said she can't control anything. He said she was heckling Jimmy Kimmel at the birthday show. Howard said Tan Mom thinks they don't want her around because she steals the spotlight from the other Wack Packers.
Howard played a clip of Tan Mom thinking that she's the spotlight on the show. She said she's the number 1 Wack Packer.
Howard said Shuli called the other Wack Packers to get their thoughts on Tan Mom. Howard said first up he called Angry Alice who agrees with Tan Mom. Howard played the clip and Alice said she thinks she'd be number 1 and Tan Mom is number 1. Shuli asked why tan Mom is number 1. Alice said she likes her and she's cool. She said Jeff the Drunk is a 0. Howard said he feels like there's a hostile takeover going on.
Howard said Angry Alice also talked about who she hates in the Wack Pack. In that clip Alice said she doesn't like Erik and Jeff. She said Bobo too. She said Bobo is a big kiss ass. Howard said she's common sense Alice now.
Howard said Shuli connected Tan Mom and Jeff the Drunk ad had them debating. Howard played a clip and Tan Mom was talking about how Jeff would never rank above her with Howard Stern. Jeff was calling her names and saying she doesn't make any sense. Howard said this is like Dracula vs. Frankenstein.
In the clip Tan Mom said that the only reason they put Jeff in anything is to make fun of him. She got Jeff so upset that he was going to hang up. Then he picked up and she was still there. He called her a home wrecking cunt before hanging up on them. Shuli kept the conversation going and Tan Mom thinks she's the queen of the Wack Pack but she doesn't want to be a part of it.
Howard said he says Tan Mom is in the Wack Pack but not at number 1. Howard said Beetlejuice or Eric the Actor even though Eric is gone. Howard said Hank the Dwarf too. Howard said hank was the best. He said he put him in Son of the Beach because he was so good. Howard said Hank had this incredible command of rock music and he was like a genius with that trivia. Robin said it was unbelievable that time they had the contest between Hank and John the Stutterer.
Howard said he has tape of Bobo ranking the Wack Pack. He said he says he's not ''nartistic'' in the clip. He said he thinks he meant Narcissistic. Howard played the clip and Bobo ranked himself at number 3. He said that Mariann is number 1 if she's in. He said he thinks Fred the Elephant Boy is up there too. Shuli asked him for the top 5. Bobo said High Pitch Erik and Jeff the Drunk would be in the top 5. That's when he said he' snot ''nartistic'' or whatever.
Howard said imagine he put Mariann above Beetlejuice. Howard said he put Joey up there too and Joey wasn't even in the Wack Pack. Howard said Bobo gets everything so wrong.
Howard had Bobo on the phone and Bobo said he doesn't know what he was thinking. He said Beetlejuice has to be up there. Howard said Wendy and Gary are up there too. Howard said Bobo shouldn't be at number 3. He said Mariann isn't in the Wack Pack. He said she's an extreme nut job. Howard said she's always screaming and yelling so she is pretty nutty. Bobo said they forget about Kenneth Keith Kallenbach too. Howard said he doesn't forget. He played Bobo off with a song parody.
Howard took a call from Chad in St. Louis who brought up the Millie Bobby Brown agent. Howard interrupted and said no one gets to vote on what he does on the show. Howard said he's just doing the show. He said if you like it tune in, and if you don't, tune out. Howard said the fact is that when he does the agent it's brilliant in his mind. He said his mind is the only one that counts.
Robin said that Howard is getting close to Alison Norris kind of anger. Robin said that she posts on Facebook that if you don't want to read her comments then unfriended her.
Chad asked if he can ask a question. Howard said go ahead. Chad asked if he thinks the guys in the back will be honest with him or are they yes men. Howard said he doesn't ask them for an opinion. Howard said he tells them what's funny. Chad asked if he trusts their opinions. Howard said this show is about ''me'' and he doesn't need opinions. Howard said the Beatles got rejected by every record company but one. Howard said they are the most innovative musicians in the history of music. Robin said in Rock and Roll. Howard said excuse me... He said the Beatles were rejected. Howard said he's not making this shit up. He said that every record company turned them down. Howard said they changed music. Howard said imagine if he listened to every opinion out there. Howard said he was told not to take calls from women by one Program Director. Howard said imagine if he listened to that.
Howard said this isn't called Chad 100. Chad said he's just asking about his employees. Howard said it's called Howard 100. He said there's one guy who knows best. He said he's the one. Howard said cancel the Thursday show.
Robin said she just saw that a Britney Spears painting sold for $10,000. Howard said he saw that. He said they're just buying it for the autograph. Howard said he's not going to do that. Gary said her painting looked like a finger painting by a third grader.
Howard said you can look at a painting and tell what age kids learned to draw at. Howard said someone paid Britney 10 grand because she's Britney Spears.
Chad asked if Howard is going to get tired of painting. Howard said he might. He said he's enjoying it now. He said that he does it because he was interested in learning about it. Robin asked if he has to know now if he's going to give it up some day. Howard said he thinks it's leading to some negative call. Chad said that's not true. Howard let him go before that could happen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called Bubba's show and he asked where he ranks the guys on the show for the reason why he listens. He ran down a list of the way that went. Howard said he got a clip from Bubba because he was evaluating the guys. Howard said Bubba likes to listen for Ronnie and not even for Howard. Howard said he thought that was funny and great.
The caller asked if he would bring Bubba back to the stations. Howard said he's not opposed to it. Howard said he doesn't do the hiring there. Howard said he doesn't though. He said they have to be into the Bubba business. Howard said he has put in a good word. He said he has spoken to Scott Greenstein about it. Howard said he doesn't bring it up every time. The caller asked if they have ever talked about bringing some DJ named Mike something to the channel. Howard said these channels are Howard all the time. Howard said you tune in and you get Howard Stern. He said that's it.
Robin mentioned that they have a lot of stuff on Sirius and she was listening to an Elvis block. Howard said he hated Elvis. She said she never liked that guy. Robin said that someone took her car to get service done and they left her radio on the Elvis channel. Howard asked if that was Captain Dennis. Robin said it wasn't.
Howard said Sour Shoes does a Bubba impression. Robin said she didn't know that. Sour was doing his Bubba impression but Howard gave it an ''Ehh.'' Robin did too. Howard said Sour is doing his DJ impression as Bubba. He said Bubba isn't like that. Sour lowered his voice. Howard didn't think it was working.
Sal came in and said he's not trying to convince him to like Elvis. He said that he did a lot of great songs and he didn't write them but he contributed a lot to them. Howard said he did not. Sal said it's not about the music, it's about the charisma. Howard said it's all about the music. Sal said he's done with the argument then.
Howard asked Sal if he saw Richard's baby. Sal said he saw pictures but he didn't go visit. Gary said he heard Richard texted Ronnie, Shuli and JD but not Sal. Sal said he thinks they have such a close relationship that he doesn't have to rely on him immediately. Howard said he's like his married partner though. Howard asked if he was weirded out by that. Sal said he texted Richard the next morning thinking something went wrong. He said Richard said things were just so hectic that he forgot. He said he thinks he texted JD to let everyone know. Howard said that's such an odd thing. Robin said he only took Sal to his bachelor party. Howard said that had to bother Sal. Sal said he was a little hurt. Sal said he was his best man at his wedding. Sal said maybe with Larry Caputo in the way. Howard said it's kind of sad to see they're not that close. Sal said he thinks JD was supposed to tell everyone and he may have thought he was going to tell him.
Howard said he saw that Sal went to some Elvis vigil with his buddy Larry. He asked how he has the time. Sal said his kids are grown now. Howard asked how old they are. Sal said his oldest is 18. Howard said he didn't know he was that old.
Howard said that Ronnie is going to see Richard's baby this weekend but Sal isn't invited yet. Howard said Sal might be Richard's best friend but Richard definitely isn't his. Sal said it's all good. He said he's fine with whatever is going on.
Howard told Sal to get out. Robin said they have this whole blog devoted to Elvis movies. Robin said they're going to have days and days of events at Graceland. Howard said he really has to get to the break. Sal told Howard to watch the 1968 comeback special that Elvis did. Howard said he's seen it. He said he saw it twice and threw up once. Howard said he's not an Elvis fan. Howard said he's not cool. He said he seemed like he was just a shit kicker. Robin said he came out a different guy after going into the military. Sal said the Stones are just okay. Howard told him to get the fuck out of there. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took another call from Sour Shoes who was trying another Bubba. Howard told him to drop this impression. He said he did a bad Richard Simmons impression earlier and that sounded like his Bubba. Howard said he should do the other Richard Simmons. Sour did some of that but Howard hung up on him in the middle of a sentence. Howard said it's not a good day for Sour. Howard said he's like Rich Little if he lived with his parents.
Robin asked Howard if he uses a camera to take photos to use for his paintings. Howard said they say that the best camera is the one you have with you. He said this weekend he took a bunch of pictures with the iPhone and it does take very good pictures. He said he's starting to use it. Robin said when the new iPhone X was released hackers started working on the facial recognition and some hackers have figured out a way to unlock a phone with out the owner's face. Howard said he loves the technology and people out there are trying to ruin it for everyone. Robin said she doesn't know why that is. Robin asked why they have to use this ability for everything. Howard said it's just a very dark world we live in. Robin said they say the way they did it was simpler than security people thought it would be.
Robin read about celebrity power couples and what they're valued at. Robin said Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen are at the top of the list. Howard said he was watching the European Music Awards and there was some hot woman singing on there and he had no idea who she was. Howard said he didn't know who anyone was. He said she should be making that kind of money. Robin said a lot of artists from over there don't get played over here. Howard said Eminem was on and wearing a baseball cap and a hoodie. Howard said he thought it was Adam Levine at first. Howard said he has the same nose and that's all you see. Robin read more of the list of celebrity power couples. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about the celebrity power couples like Beyonce and Jay Z. Robin had a bunch of people on the list. Robin read about Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and others.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who tried another impression by doing Robin Quivers. Howard said Sour is going with some weird impressions this morning. The impression was pretty good. Howard said he's calling him Experimental Shoes this morning.
Howard said he has Tan Mom on the phone and she's mad at Jimmy Kimmel. Howard took the call and Tan Mom was there. She said Robin is talking about these models and who cares. She said she stuck up for Jimmy Kimmel and she was dismissed. She said it doesn't matter because she was away but she was pissed off anyway. Robin said she was away though. Tan Mom said that's irrelevant. Tan Mom said she does make scenes but that's part of her personality. Howard said Jimmy doesn't invite anyone. Mariann was the one who got the tickets and she invited everyone. Howard said they also think that Tan Mom is too out of control to have to a show like that. Tan Mom said that's her personality. Howard said she gets pissed off because she gets bored at these shows. Tan Mom said she is a spoiled brat in a way. She said she got upset at the birthday show because she was waiting and waiting. She said she had lost her Caviar glasses that night and she took her shoes off and people were looking at her like she was out of her mind.
Howard said they worry about handling her and worrying about lawsuits and stuff. Shuli was on the phone doing his Tanner Mom impression too. Howard asked if she really thinks she's higher than Beetlejuice in the Wack Pack. Tan Mom said she's not sure how she even joined that family. Shuli was contradicting things that Tan Mom was saying by saying the opposite.
Howard told Tan Mom not to worry about this. Howard said she's the best. Howard let Tan Mom go a short time later. Tanner Mom was asking who this is. Howard tried saying goodbye to Tan Mom again. Tanner Mom was still saying hi and trying to get him to talk. Howard said you have to love Tan Mom. He said she got very upset. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about Jeff Bezos and how he started Amazon with his wife and how loving the couple are to this day. Howard said he admires a guy like that. He said that the online shopping is so great. He said he is sad over the fact that retail stores are closed but he never even went to them. Robin said she misses book stores. Howard said he doesn't. He said there's no reason for him to be sad. He never went to one. Robin said they have brick and mortar stores but they won't have inventory. Robin said that you'll still have to order online. Robin said that Amazon is thinking of doing that as well. Howard said Jeff Bezos never stops working either. He said he's worth 92 billion and he keeps working. Howard said the guy is bald and you'd think he'd work on that.
Howard said Jason told him he signed up for Amazon Fresh. He had Jason come in to explain that. Jason said you sign up for getting fresh food from the store and they bring it to your house. Howard said when he does that the food is never good. Jason said he doesn't buy a lot of fruit. He said his wife does though. Jason said that he buys regular groceries. He said they just leave it on your doorstep. Howard said that's the last thing Jason needs. He said he hates to fat shame him but he should get out of the house once in a while.
Robin asked if it would help Jason if he had to get nude to get a meal out at a restaurant. Howard said that would help everyone. Howard said he has such a small dick and he works out all the time. Howard said he still had a gut even after working out 6 hours a day. He said he'd never eat again if he had to get nude at a restaurant.
Robin said in Paris the first nude restaurant has opened. Howard said imagine sitting on a chair that someone's naked ass was on.
Howard took another call from Sour Shoes who was dong his Howard Stern impression. Howard talked to himself but only for a second. Robin said he's awful today. Howard said he has something going on with his phone too. He has an echo on his voice or something. Howard said Sour is having a shitty day.
Robin read more about the nude restaurant. Robin had some details about who will be wearing clothes there. Robin said that the diners will walk in clothes and go in and take off their clothes before eating. Howard said that's so gross. He said there are going to be shit streaks on the chairs. He said it's so disgusting. Robin said she can't imagine she'd want to try that.
Robin read a story about a woman who married her mother in September. Robin said she just pleaded guilty to incest. Robin said she will get 10 years probation for that. Robin said her mother is appearing in court in January. Robin said this woman also married one of her sons a couple of years back. Robin said that was annulled because it's not legal. Howard asked why not just fuck in private and not draw attention to it. Robin said the mother gave the kids up and she didn't think it was wrong to do that. That led to Howard doing his impression of his mother asking him to marry her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard and Robin if they're in a big box store and you want to say something, can you? Howard said this guy sounds like a creepy guy. Howard said his whole demeanor is creepy. Howard said that it is a legitimate question though. Howard said you can ask a girl out. He said you know the difference. Howard asked what big box store are you going to? He said that's even a weird question. Howard said he thinks he wants to throw the girl in a box and bury her in his back yard. The caller said he's talking about BJs. Howard said it's very simple to know the difference between wheat's appropriate and what's not. Howard said if you're at work you can tell a woman she's wearing a hot outfit. Howard said just do your job and go home. Howard said if you're at the big box store and you see an attractive woman you walk over and say hello, my name is Scott... Howard said better yet, don't say hello. Robin said just admire her and go on. Robin said maybe if you're there over and over again you'll get to know her. Robin said you can't just walk up and say you dig her outfit. Howard said it's all common sense. Howard told Scott that you walk away if the woman tells you to get away from her. Howard said guys know what to do. Howard said if you don't know the line then you're retarded.
Howard said how about this. If you're not sure what to do, don't do anything and ignore her. Howard said just go on with your day. Howard said you meet girls by going out to dinner or meeting people at a friend's house.
Robin read a story about how the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asking for $50 million. Robin said he also wants lifetime use of a private jet and lifetime health insurance for his whole family. Howard said that's a lot to ask for. Robin read about how not everyone is on board with that and they're trying to block an extension to his contract.
Howard said Ralph has some advice for that last caller. Howard had him on the phone and Ralph said no one wants to get hit on at BJs or a box store like that. He said just get your shit and get out. Howard said Ralph is good at picking up chicks. Howard said Ralph just hangs out and hangs in there. Robin said that's what you do. Howard said he's seen Ralph hang out in a group and he'll just act uninterested. Howard said he's just hanging out. Howard said he's real patient and by the end of the night he's getting blown. Robin said she thinks that just going back to the box store is fine and you might see the woman multiple times. Howard said Ralph ends up getting the shrapnel or scraps at the end of the night.
Howard had Sour Shoes on the phone again and he was doing his Ralph impression. Ralph said that was awful. Howard said he's working on it. Howard said he has the laugh down. Sour went into his Artie impression and turned things around. Howard let both of them go after that.
Robin said George Takei's name came up in the news the other day. Howard played a clip of George doing an announce for the show. Robin said George has been accused of sexual assault in 1981. Robin said that an actor claims he was groped and George allegedly tried to remove his underwear. Robin said George has said he's shocked and bewildered by these claims. Robin said George is taking it seriously and doesn't member this man at all. Robin said George says that he can't imagine he did something like this. Robin said she thought what would bother him is that they were doing a segment on Saturday Night Live and they included him and pronounced his name wrong. Howard said he can't wait for George to come in and talk about this. Howard said he hopes it's not true.
Robin read a story about how Ridley Scott has figured out a way to cut Kevin Spacey out of an upcoming movie. Robin said they're going to replace him with Christopher Plumber. Howard wondered how that's going to work. Robin said Ridley Scott has figured out how to do that. Howard asked if they can do that with Jackie in Private Parts. He said he'd like to know.
Robin read a story about John Travolta being accused of sexual harassment in a spa during a late night rub down. Robin said it allegedly took place in a spa in Palm Springs in 2000. Robin said that the guy claims that Travolta was rubbing this guy's leg and buttocks during the massage.
Robin read a story about politician Roy Moore who was accused of making sexual advances toward a 14 year old. Robin said some other women came forward and said he had approached them between the ages of 16 and 18. Robin said in Alabama the age of concert is 16. Robin said the 14 year old was below that age. Robin said there was a lot of debate going on about this story last week. Robin said Sean Hannity got involved in all of this and it's had some repercussions. Robin said he was defending Roy Moore at first. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Robin said then he had Roy Moore on his radio show and Roy wasn't exactly vehement in his denials that this was going on. Robin had a clip of that too. Howard said he doesn't have time to get into that. He said it's crazy. Robin said that Hannity played his interview with a group of panelists and Geraldo was one of them. Robin had audio of that. Howard said this is ridiculous. Robin said they're saying that Roy Moore should step down. Robin said that Roy thinks that political groups are working against him. Howard said he sounds like he has Sour Shoes' phone connection.
Robin read a story about Liz Smith passing away. Robin said she was the queen of tabloid gossip. Robin said she was 94. Howard said she had a nice long life. Robin had some audio of Liz Smith talking about celebrities. Robin spent a little more time talking about Liz and what she did in her life. Howard said he thought she died like 30 years ago. He said you have to admire someone who worked that long. Howard said she didn't admire them so much. He said they kind of feuded with her over the years. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about Gary Busey coming in today. He said he hasn't seen him in a hundred years. Howard said that's one interesting dude. He said he's been studying up.
Howard said on Thursday they're doing a one off show. He said they're not normally there. He said he has to give back and clean out his computer. He said he's going to play the stuff they never got to. He said they will also have Robin Quivers step out from the news room and find out why she recorded her new album. Howard said it's much like Taylor Swift honoring Tom Petty when she was up there at Sirius. Howard said that Robin is going to talk about why she is celebrating now and recording these songs.
Robin said she appreciates this opportunity. They played a promo for the new album. Howard got a laugh to of that. Howard said just wait until you hear this music. He hasn't heard any of it yet but he said it better be good.
Howard said when Taylor Swift was up there she talked about what Tom Petty meant to her. Howard had a clip of her talking about that. Taylor was talking about how they were all affected by him passing away. Robin said she has some vocal fry. Howard said she's sure Robin slips into that too. Howard played more of Taylor talking about Tom Petty and what he meant to her.
Howard said that's what Robin should do. Robin said she won't be performing on Thursday. Howard said he knows that. He said she should talk about what the songs mean to her. Howard asked what songs she recorded. Robin thought about it and said he's catching her off guard. Robin didn't remember what she recorded. Robin said she's in show mode and she can't recall. Howard said he heard she did Chandelier by Sia. Robin said she did. She talked about what that song meant to her.
Howard said that Taylor made a surprise appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show to do a song for Jimmy's mother who passed away.
Howard played the Taylor Swift cover of ''American Girl.'' Howard asked what she was wearing up there. Howard said she seems to be into hot pants. He said she was wearing them on Saturday Night Live when she was on. Howard asked if she was playing the piano herself because that's not that hot. He said Robin should have a special outfit on like bra and panties. Howard said something like Lady Gaga would wear.
Howard asked if any of the guys were over at the Taylor Swift thing or were they banned. Gary said they weren't permitted over there. Howard asked if they were banned. Gary said it was a ban on anyone from the company. He said they invited listeners up to watch. Howard said that's cool. He said they know they're not a wild card like this crew. Howard said they can behave.
Howard said yesterday Gary left a voicemail for Sal. Gary said he didn't. Howard said he did. He said at the end of it he was talking to himself and trying to hang up. Gary said that's his new phone.
Howard played the clip of Gary trying to call and asked him what was going on there. Gary was just talking and not really saying anything. He was just talking to himself. He was coughing and talking to the phone.
Howard asked Gary what was going on. Gary said he got a new phone and he forgot to hit the red button. Howard said it sounded like he was talking to himself. Gary didn't have an answer for him. Robin said they're never going to get a straight answer there.
Howard said this is a peek into the slow world. Howard said he really has to go. Gary was laughing and joking about stuff. Robin asked if he really gets the show. Howard said if he likes it then how deep could they really be. Howard said he has told reporters that they are deep but if a retarded guy gets it then maybe they're not so deep.
Gary said that he needs a laptop. Howard said that's why he's calling in. Howard asked Gary if he has dreams when he sleeps. Gary said he does. Howard asked what the dreams are. Gary said he doesn't know. He said they just ruin his sleep.
Howard asked if he's retarded in his dreams. Gary said he's not. Howard said he must be Bill Gates in his dreams. Howard asked if he's a ladies man in his dreams. Gary said he has girls chasing him all over. Howard said he's become like the Joker. He laughs after everything he says.
Gary asked when they're going to put that thing on the air when they came out there. Howard said they went out and did an Embedded and when it's ready they'll put it on the air. Howard said he has to go.
Gary asked Howard if he has to pay for the app on his cell phone. Howard said they'll pay for it. Howard said hold on and he'll get Gary to take care of that. Howard said Gary wants that SiriusXM on his phone so they'll hook him up. Howard said someone has to work with him on that.
Howard wondered whose job it is to handle that. Gary Dell'Abate got on the line and said that they have a guy named Ritchie who handles all of that stuff for everyone. He said it may take a while but he'll get it done. Howard said he should have Ross do it just for giggles. Howard said Ritchie is known as the installer to the stars. Howard said he's Ritchie Belinson. Gary said he helps everyone who they give SiriusXM to for free.
Howard said he hasn't seen Ritchie in the halls for like a year. Gary said he found out years ago he went to Nicole Bass' house and he was bending down and she pulled a hair out of his ass when he bent over. Howard asked if it was attached to his ass. Gary said it was. He said that bummed him out.
Howard said he heard Ritchie has an office across the street now. Gary said that's where it is. Howard said they had to move some executives over there. Robin said she knows they have more floors there. Howard said it's good that they're expanding.
Howard said the guy in the background is grunting and he has no idea what's going on. Gary said they believe in aliens and stuff. He said they think the guy may have had a stroke. He may not be doing a character. Howard said maybe that's it.
Howard played the clip and the host takes the call and the guys play clips of Howard talking about his piss boner. The host talks to him and there's a guy who grunts with the host. They had Howard talking about drinking Perrier and peeing and the woman says that she can't talk about this on her show. She said it's inappropriate. They kept Howard talking about his penis so the host asked someone to turn him off. The host calls herself ''Mother'' and the guy who has the grunty voice calls her that.
Howard said that guy calling her mother is as brilliant as it gets. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing the grunting voice. Howard spent a minute talking to him.
Howard said on Thursday they're doing an extra show and clean out the computer. Howard said he'll be talking to Robin as a guest too.
Howard played a Robert O'Neill clip where he was talking about working 4 days in one week and what a hero he is for doing that. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said he was so excited because he wanted to be on the radio. Howard said he remembers being a communications major and no one taught you how to be on the radio. Howard said it was about the broadcasting business but it was weird. He said he went to this station and it was such a shithole he thought he'd have a shot at getting a job. Howard said the guy heard his tape and it was about the best he'd ever done in his life. Howard said he could never equal what was on the tape. He said he had edited the tape so it was good. Howard said he couldn't get the records cued up or anything. He said he was just the worst disc jockey ever. Howard said he tells his kids this and tells them how hard he had to work at this. He said they didn't see the struggle.
Howard said someone sent him a picture of the station because they're tearing it down. Howard said it was only on during the day. He said they turned off at night. Howard said he looked at it and he didn't even remember it. Howard said he remembers the job and telling his dad about getting the job. He said 2 weeks later he was done there. Howard said the cost of the job was a car, gas, insurance and all of that and then the job was over. Howard said he felt so bad and like such a loser. He said he was embarrassed.
Howard said he remembers his dad taking it pretty well. He said that he thinks he can hear his dad talking to his mother about it back then. Howard did an impression of his dad talking about buying him a Dodge Polara. He said it was a huge tank of a car. Howard said it was so big he wasn't able to find a parking space.
Howard said he remembers going to Maine to find a job. He said he remembers the guy telling him he was terrible. He said he was so bad he wasn't even good for weekend work. Howard said not even at night on the weekends. He said this guy was named JJ Jeffries. He said the guy was successful. Howard said he thought about what could be shittier than Maine. Howard said he went to Pennsylvania and went to Camp Hill. He said even that was too good for him. He said he drove for hours to a station on a mountain. He said it was a TV station and a radio station. He said it was the shittiest place on earth. He said even they rejected him. He said there was some guy in Pittsfield, Massachusetts who said he would consider him but then even he stopped taking his calls.
Howard said someone told him about Billboard Magazine and they had job listings in here. Howard said it was looking bleak for him. He said he got the magazine and in there it said ''Move to Alaska.'' Howard said they needed a morning man up in Alaska. Howard said he didn't even know where in Alaska it was. Howard said it might as well have said ''Seeking shitheads.'' He said he went to a station in New Hampshire near Lake Winnipesaukee and he knew a guy up there doing top 40. Howard said he was really talented though. Howard said the guy was good. Howard did his impression of that guy doing his thing.
Howard said it took him a long time to figure this whole thing out. He said he was good in college because he was doing his King Schmaltz Bagel Hour thing. Howard said his dad told him he can't be that way on the air. Howard said he was right.
Howard said he didn't want to move to Alaska. He said he might see werewolves up there. Robin said she went to Camp Hill first. Howard said that's not bad. Howard said he went to WRNW and this guy Donald J Barnett hired him. He said that he thought he was reliable and he had nice short hair and all of that. Howard said the guy gave him a job so thank you. He said it saved him from going to Alaska. Howard said he's not sure he would have gotten hired up there.
Howard said podcasts are so horrible because you don't have to work hard at it. He said there's no building an audience. He said it's an easy way out. He said it's all so fucking dumb anyway. He said the whole radio thing was a waste of time. Howard said he's not sure why he's there. He said he has to work on Thursday.
Howard said he kind of knew Harvey Weinstein who would go to the same party he would go to. Howard said Harvey was kind of a bit snotty to him. He said that someone told him he was shy. Howard said the guy was very dismissive. He said that was just his impression. Robin said she got the same impression. Howard said his wife designed his wife's wedding dress. Howard said she's stunning and talented and so sweet. Howard said he always tried to talk to the two of them. Howard said he wanted to talk to everyone at these dinner parties. Howard said he never really made a connection with Harvey.
Howard said he really likes Louis C.K. and his kids did too. Howard said he isn't sure how to deal with this. He said he doesn't condone jerking off in front of women. Howard said he doesn't have any fetishes like that. Howard said he's the guy who is afraid of women getting naked. Howard said he doesn't want a disease. He said all weekend he was debating if he should reach out to Louie or not. Howard said he's not the guy who is saying it's okay. Howard said he called Jimmy to ask what he did. Howard said he had a private conversation with Jimmy and his wife. Howard said if they wrote him a note maybe he can get in on the note and just say ''Ditto.'' Howard said he doesn't know what to do.
Robin said no one is supposed to know what to do. Howard said he wanted to call Robin about it but she was busy walking. Robin said if you don't know what to do then don't do anything. Howard said he didn't know what to do.
Howard said he could have used this advice while she was walking. Howard said the subject line was ''Please stop masturbating.'' Robin said that would have been a good question for an interview. Robin said he could have asked if he's still doing it.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said he wants to defend Louie here. He said that it's creepy but maybe it's not sexual misconduct. He said Louie asked and they stayed. He said they could have left. Ralph said that he was funny about it too. Ralph said the girls giggled and laughed at it all but now they say it's wrong. Gary said that's not the only story that's out there. He said there are other stories. Ralph said he did it a bunch of times but he claims he always asked. Gary said one of them was where he went to a job and asked a woman if he can masturbate and she said no. Gary said he didn't do that there. Howard said you can't keep asking. He said that's the thing. Ralph said he knows. He said that all of this stuff is coming out and the George Takei thing is another one. He said the guy had dinner with George after that alleged thing happened. Robin said this is the asshole attitude that keeps this kind of thing happening. Robin asked if Howard would want his daughters to have that happen to them. Howard said he doesn't even want them dating and one of them is married.
Howard said that's it. Ralph said it's not the world's business what these women are doing with Louie. Howard said this might help some guys rein it in. Robin said that the women don't have to normalize this so they can continue with their careers. Ralph said Louie is just so funny. Robin said so is Woody Allen. Ralph said he doesn't know.
Gary asked Ralph how he feels about Kevin Spacey. Ralph said he doesn't know how to feel. He said that he's not sure what went on there. He said that they're not getting the other side of the story. Robin said Kevin isn't saying it didn't happen. Howard said he doesn't care because now they have a drop of Robin saying ''Can I whip out my dick?'' Howard told the guys to pull that clip.
Ralph said that he isn't sure what to think about this. Howard said he should hope that the people are being truthful. Howard said that women who were raped are coming forward and if someone is lying about it then it can be a problem for the people who are telling the truth.
Howard said Ralph tries to get him out of his underwear all the time. He said he gave Ralph an underwear show and he ended up on the floor passed out.
Howard said he forgot what he was going to say. He said he's off his game. Howard said he'll think of it later. He said he's got 4 hours to get it back.
Howard took a call from a guy who was jerking off to his voice. Howard said he should ask first. The guy asked and then kept going. Howard told him to hurry up so he can move on. The guy finished a short time later.
Robin said she wants to know what he wrote to Louie. Howard said he just wrote to him saying he wanted to reach out but he's not condoning what he did. Howard said he's not sure if they're going to remain friends or not. He said he doesn't know what to think. He said he and Robin are so confused by everything that's going on. Howard said they can't lose George Takei. Robin said he's denying this ever happened. Robin said they stand by him until further notice.
Howard said that George issued a statement about being on their show and saying that it was a sketch or something. Howard said he's just so confused by it all. Robin said they're going to start combing over everything in the past to find anything.
Howard read a quote from George Takei talking about something they discussed on the show. George talked about playing the part of a naughty gay grandpa on the show. He said he has never force himself upon anyone in his years of dating. George said that he regrets playing along with Howard's insinuation. Howard said he just asked a question. He said it wasn't a sketch.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Tan Mom is not number 1 as a Wack Packer. He said that Beetlejuice is number 1. He said that Eric the Actor was great too. He said he likes Big Foot and people like that. the guy asked if he had any games to play. Howard said nope and hung up.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said he's upset that Tan Mom is in the Wack Pack and he's not. Howard said that's a compliment. Howard asked why he would want to be in the Wack Pack. Gary said he was told that Booker was tweeting yesterday about how Tan Mom isn't a Wack Packer. Howard said that if he was told he wasn't in the Wack Pack he'd be honored. Howard said it's not an honor to be in it. Captain Janks said he was in the book Private Parts as a Wack Packer. Howard said he doesn't agree with that. Howard said Janks is a guy who makes great phony phone calls but he's not a wacky guy. Janks told Howard to ask Gary. Howard said he's not in the Wack Pack. Gary said he's the creator and a great phony phone caller but not a Wack Packer. He said he spent a lot of time hanging out with them but he's not inherently wacky.
Howard said Janks used to do this voice when he called in but he dropped that. Howard said that voice was great. Janks said he did that so the screeners didn't recognize his voice when he'd prank call. Howard said now he's just a gay gas attendant who makes great phony phone calls.
Howard said Janks isn't that wacky. He said gay is normal now. Brent Hatley came in and said he thinks Janks is a Wack Packer. He said he has no empathy. He said he does things that are just out there. He said he'll make his calls during a disaster and he has no filter. Howard said he has to think it through. Fred said he's not a Wack Packer. Brent said that Janks made a prank call on the news during the Aurora theater shooting. He said he called as the police chief. He said he's out of his mind.
Howard said Brent said that Taylor Swift's cover of American Girl was disrespectful. Brent said it was. He said it was lacking any feeling. Howard asked how it was disrespectful. Brent said he didn't think it was that great. Howard said Brent is more Wack Pack than Janks is. He said he once fucked a girl live on the air. Howard said Janks is still controversial.
Janks said that Tan Mom was known for being in the news. He asked why she's part of the show. Howard said they found Big Foot holding a contest. Janks said he was still born on the show. Howard said he has to go. Robin said the definition of a Wack Packer is very loose. She said Jessica Hahn used to be in it. Janks said she still is. Howard and Robin said she's not though.
Janks asked if he's in or not. Howard said he thinks he decided he's not and that's a compliment. Janks faked crying. Howard said it's hard to be in charge of the Wack Pack.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said you have to have a crazy voice. She said she's in the Wack Pack. Howard hung up on her.
Howard took a call from a woman who said her brother was an addict and he had flaws. She said that she likens that to Louie and she thinks that he has to have support and he has to own what he's done and he can try to fix these things. Howard said he thinks that Louie is one of those guys who steps up. He said he did own it. Howard said he thinks that he's getting some help but he hasn't heard. Howard said Marc Maron came out and said it's a good time to be his friend because he might need a friend going through this. He said that he doesn't condone what he did but he's going to be there for him as a friend.
The caller said her brother will be gone 5 years come Christmas. Howard said he did send the note because of that. He said that he checked with his wife about it and she thought it was a good thing to do. The caller said that Howard has a handle on these things and he's empowering his kids by having this attitude. She said we can't lose our compassion and help people who have a disorder. Howard said he loves this woman.
Robin said maybe she can help her. Robin said she has a list of things she's about to watch. Robin said one of them was the Louis C.K. special. Robin said she's not sure if she should watch it. Howard said she should. The caller, Mary, agreed that she should watch it. Howard said that's a good call. Howard let Mary go after that. She went out with a ''Fuck you Artie'' and Howard wondered why she did that. He asked if Artie is still there. He looked over to see. Howard said he has to take a break. They went to break after that.
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Robin said she has a story to tell. She and Howard ended up singing the Beverly Hillbillies theme song because of the way she started the talk.
Robin said she was thinking about this consent thing. Robin said that we're all college students and there are 5 of them. Robin said this is a story about 3 guys and 2 girls. Howard thought she was talking about them in the studio. Robin said this is a real incident. Robin said they were in a dorm. Howard asked what she was wearing. Robin said she was in college. Howard said it sounds like sex story. Robin said it was in a dorm that had sections that you could close the doors. Robin said they were studying together. Robin said they got into this room and they were going over some material. Howard asked if his is a #MeToo story. Robin said it isn't. Howard was making jerking off sounds. Robin told him to stop.
Robin said that one of the guys said ''Lets have an orgy.'' Howard asked if it was Ronnie. Robin said she was there to study. She said that to herself. Robin said she wasn't thinking about sex. She said this came out of the blue and she wasn't in the mood. Howard said people think about sex when Robin walks into the room. Robin said the other guy said ''Yeah!'' Robin said then they went to the girls and asked them if they were up for it. Robin said the first one was like okay. The second one was fine with it. Robin said she said she'd watch. Robin said she didn't want to fuck them but she'd watch. Howard said this is a new revelation.
Robin said the guys chickened out. Robin said they said it was all or nothing. Robin said she said no. Robin said it all broke up and they got thrown out. Robin said they were walking back to their dorm and they said thank goodness she was the one who said no. Robin said she has to be the unfun one. Robin said they should have said what they wanted. Robin said this is happening all the time. Robin said they just didn't want to be uncool.
Robin said when you talk about consent you're talking about something where people feel pressure they don't show. Howard thanked the caller for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who hung up before he could get to what he had to say.
Howard played a clip of Scott the engineer saying ''Bull. Shit!'' Howard said they play that one all the time. Howard said it's from 2008. Robin didn't know what it was. Howard said it was Scott. Robin said she didn't get that. He played the original clip where he was talking to Scott about spending time doing stuff that he shouldn't be doing during the show. Scott screamed out Bullshit during that clip.
Howard played another drop from a movie where a guy says ''You blew it!'' Howard said it's from Copland and it's Robert De Niro. Howard played the original movie clip.
Howard played Ronnie's ''Ass Chreeks'' clip and everyone knew where that one came from. Howard played the original sex tip clip where Ronnie screwed up ''cheeks.'' Howard said in the Sternthology special they have Brent asking Ronnie what he was thinking. He said something disturbing about thinking about JD's ass and butter and his mother's ass. Howard said that's very disturbing. Howard said that Ronnie is like Kevin Spacey without the talent.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if Robin jumping up on a guy's lap when he was in the hospital was sexual misconduct. Robin said there was no fucking. Robin said she just talked to the guy. Robin said the guy said he no longer felt like a man because he was about to lose his leg. Robin said he had a motorcycle accident and she said that leg doesn't make him a man. Robin said she straddled him and asked if he felt like a man. Howard said then he came on her face.
Howard said Robin was a saint as a nurse. He said she was a full service nurse. Robin said she was not.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not sure wheat's more disturbing about that Ronnie clip. He said that he's not sure what's up with the buttering his mother's cheeks.
Howard asked Ronnie to come in but he may not have been up there because Gary Busey is coming up. Howard said he'll get to that eventually. Howard said that's a gold mine right there. Howard said Ronnie will wonder what the big deal is.
Howard took a call from a woman who said it wasn't about the jerking off. She said it was about the power that the men had over these women. She said it's the power that they have over women, men or boys that they have. Howard said he would be so ashamed to jerk off in front of a woman. The caller said that's normal. Robin said they don't do it all the time. Howard said he doesn't want anyone to see his penis. The caller said that's another story. Howard said not even his wife. The caller said there's an element of power that he guys get off on. Howard said alright. He let her go a short time later. Howard said they're all trying to figure this out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's curious about why they're comparing Louie to everyone else. He said what he did isn't like what Harvey Weinstein did. Howard said there are degrees. Howard said he doesn't have the answer to all of this. Robin said that women don't know what to do in that situation and it's just a different thing. Robin said that Louie knows that he did wrong. She said she's not sure why the rest of the guys don't get it. The caller said that he did admit to doing it but he's being put in the same bucket as the rest of the guys.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing the part of Robin's patient. The guy was saying that Robin did more than she claims. She said that he was armless and she blew him and put her finger up his ass.
Howard asked if Billy Bush should have been fired. Robin said she thinks he was a victim. She said that he didn't know what to do when Trump was carrying on like that. Howard said it is odd that he got fired and Trump is president.
Howard said he has very clear lines in his life. He said Robin does too. Robin said that it's hard to know what it's like to be a woman and what it's like for them to deal with this. Howard said Ralph knows. Robin said he's still a man.
Howard said that Captain Sully is not a hero. Robin said he is a hero for going through the aftermath of that. Howard said that Billy Bush was a victim. Robin said he was. Howard said he thinks he's a victim too. Howard said he's a victim of bad genetics. Howard said he has to move along because he has to get to more stuff.
Robin said Ronnie realizes that he doesn't know what it's like to be a woman. She said he would like to know. Howard asked if Caitlyn Jenner knows what it's like to be a woman. Robin said no but she knows what it's like to be a Trans woman. Howard played a song parody that Ronnie sang about wanting to know what it's like to be a woman. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he has Gary Busey there. Howard said he's thinking back on his career and he was in a lot of good movies. He said he was in Under Siege and things like that. He said he's promoting a new docu-series. Howard said he's looking good.
Howard had Gary put on his headphones. Gary said it's good to see Robin. Howard said he was thinking of Gary and how he got nominated for an academy award for the Buddy Holly story. Howard said that was a great movie. Gary thanked him for that. Howard said that was a crazy year. He said he was up against some crazy people. He was up against Warren Beatty, Robert De Niro, John Voight and more. Gary said he was told that if he gave that role to everyone else they wouldn't have been able to come near his performance. Gary said they did everything in one take and he sang all of the songs. Gary said he was channeling his spirit when he sang. Howard said everything in his life led up to that so beautifully.
Howard asked Gary about growing up and how he played football as a kid. Gary said he was good. He said he played center and guard and linebacker. Howard asked if he was on his way to being a professional. Gary said no but he thought about coaching. He said that was the normal path to go on.
Howard asked when he started acting. Gary said the team dared him to go out for South Pacific and he liked doing that. He said he went to junior college and got another part and he liked that. He said he was playing football and then he'd come in and put on tights. He said he'd do the play and no one goofed on him. He said that it's good to see Howard. Howard said it's been a long time.
Howard asked how he's feeling. Gary said he has a 7 year old son. Howard said he's 73. Howard said no one ever thought he'd live this long. Gary said he's 73! Howard said he had a motorcycle accident and he almost died from that. Gary said he went to the other side after that. He said it was so real and it hit him in all the ways you can think. He said that he remembers it vividly. He said that there were balls floating around and he was like this long and that wide. He said that his soul is housed in the column of your spine. He said you feel everything. Howard said they said he was legally dead. Howard said he had a hole in his head. Gary said it was split from the temple to the top of his skull. He said they took bone out of his pelvis and put it in his skull.
Howard said when something like that happens most people don't survive. Gary said he was lucky. He said that he was invited to the White House and they signed in a law about head injuries.
Howard wanted to go back to Gary as a kid. Howard said his parents must have been shocked when he had success. Gary said no one even thought about it. Howard said he was a drummer in a band. Gary said he played Quaker Oats boxes and things like that. He said his mother would yell at him to stop. He said he eventually played guitar and he played it in the Buddy Holly movie.
Howard asked when he had his own band. Gary said he started in junior college. He said he went to be in the band and left college. Howard said they had a record deal and everything. Gary said that was with Epic records. He said in 1966 they met the Doors. He said they were called The Rubber Band back then. Gary said that it was a great name for the band. He said he named them. Howard said they went pretty far with music. Gary said he's still doing it. He said he's recording now and he's going on the road. He said he has a friend playing with him named Teddy Jack Bridges. He said he was named after him. Howard said people don't know this about him.
Howard said people know Gary from the reality shows. Howard said they don't know the incredible career he's had. Howard asked if reality TV ruins careers. Gary said there is no such thing as reality TV. He said that it's just something they made up.
Howard said Gary was so great on Celebrity Rehab. Howard said he said whatever was on his mind. Gary said that got him in trouble. He said all his life his parents told him to think before he speaks. He said his report cards would say he didn't listen while other people were speaking in class.
Howard said he thought it was weird that he was in Celebrity Rehab and he didn't have an addiction. Gary said he was just here to get paid and go home.
Howard said Gary was a jock and acting and playing guitar and drums. Howard said he had a magical career. He said it almost came accidentally. Gary said it was like dominoes. Gary said there was a band called The Doors and they heard that and he thought they were on the wrong trail. He said then they figured out that they were on the right track and stuck to it. Howard said Gary formed The Rubber Band and it was good enough that he was doing session work with some heavy hitters. Howard said he played with Bonnie Rait, Hank Williams Jr., Bruce Springsteen and more. Gary said that he went to meet Bruce after the Buddy Holly story came out. He said he went to meet him and he said his parents told him that he had to learn to fall back on something. He said Buddy didn't plan on falling back so that made him a hero to Bruce.
Gary said he has a book coming out. He said it's going to be out next year sometime. He said he just finished it. Howard said that's a good idea. Howard said they think of him as a reality TV guy but he had a fucking unbelievable career. Gary thanked him for that. He said his belief in himself is very strong, loving and giving. Howard said his parents were very religious too. Gary said it was just plain Christian stuff.
Howard said the band changed to Carp at some point. Gary said that they were so horrible that he felt like a trash fish. Howard said they covered a lot of songs and then they did wacky shit on stage. Gary said they did ''Hey Joe'' real fast and that caused a fight between the marines and the surfers at the show. He said they got fired over that. Howard asked why he got fired. Gary said they got amped up.
Howard said this band Carp got signed to a record label and they were on their way. Gary said it didn't take off and they had no PR behind it. He said they got the money and this guy took all of the money and said he was working on an album cover. He said he was very young and you learn from your mistake. He said he calls a mistake a gift though. Howard said he probably thought he was going to be a big deal. Gary said he never thought like that. He said it is what it is.
Howard said he was a kid playing football and now he's in a band. Howard said he was a drummer and singer. Howard said he can't think of anyone who was good like that. Gary said Levon Helm was great. He said he played drums and sang. Howard said he's right.
Howard asked if he knew the J Geils band. Gary said he didn't. He said he knew of them. Howard asked when he played for Leon Russell. Gary said in 1970 he got an acting job in a western. He said the acting thing started and he ended the band. He said that music is the highest art form of them all. He said you have to make it danceable and make it fun and you have allies for life.
Howard asked if he was into the Beatles or the Stones. Gary said he grew up when Rock and Roll was starting. He said he had a lot of great music growing up.
Howard said Gary sang his own stuff. Gary sang a little for him. Howard said Gary breaks up the band and while he's acting Leon Russell asked him to play for him? Gary said he went to visit Leon and say hi and he saw a set of drums. He said he told him to play and he did. He said what he did with the drums was something that sounded like a farm machine. Howard asked if it was an audition. Gary said it wasn't really. He said Leon's wife would call and ask him to come play drums with him and he was into that. He said he played on his album as Teddy Jack Eddie. He said that was a character he played on TV in Tulsa.
Howard asked Gary why he wasn't just Gary Busey. Gary said after Leon saw the premiere of Buddy Holly Leon came over to him and said he saw a star being born. Howard said he was in A Star is Born. Gary said he was. He said he played a road manager. Howard said that was a tough part to play. Gary said it was. He said that he had to wrap that part around himself. He said he built a back story about the character. He said he does that with all of his characters. Gary told Howard about some of the back stories he's created.
Howard asked if he has had any formal acting training. Gary said you can't teach acting. Howard said he makes up a whole story for his character. Howard asked if it's method acting. Gary said it's no method required. Howard asked what he thinks about method actors. Gary said he used to do it and he did it during Lethal Weapons and that wasn't a good thing. He said he would turn it off after the day of shooting was over.
Howard asked Gary about hanging out with the heavyweights in the music business. Howard said Leon Russell was a big deal. Gary said he's playing with his son now. He said he has Teddy Jack Bridges playing with him. Howard asked why he left Leon Russell. Gary said it was movies. He said Leon told him he was on his way to film now after seeing Buddy Holly.
Howard said he bets a lot of people don't know that about him. Howard asked if he hung out with Crosby Stills and Nash. Gary said he did. He said he'd go to their homes or to their concerts. He said he didn't play with them. He said he was an honored guest and he took that with love.
Howard asked if he handled the drug thing well when it was offered to him. Gary said he did have a ball of coke delivered to him with his initials on it.
Howard asked if he stayed humble on the set of movies. Gary said he did. Gary said it works when you give with love. Howard said he had a charmed life. Howard said Gary had the music success and then he starts acting and he gets into some good shows. Howard read about some of the shows he was in like Gun Smoke. Gary said he was the last guy to die on Gun Smoke after it was canceled. He said the show was on for 18 years.
Gary said he was having trouble getting his line out on the show. He said he was in awe of the guys he had been watching for 18 years. Howard asked Gary about how many takes it took him to get his line out. Gary said it was the third one.
Gary said he did the movie ''Magnificent 7'' too. Howard said everything was working for him. Gary said he did a movie that was about cars from coast to coast. Gary said he was going down the street at 140 miles per hour. Howard said he was in Kung Fu too. Gary said he was in the dressing room with William Katt. Howard asked if he was in that too. Gary said he was. Howard asked if he had to know kung fu. Gary said he had to learn some for the show. Gary said the assistant director came and knocked on his door and said they needed him. He said David Carradine gave him some grapefruit juice that had LSD in it. He said he had to go shoot his scene. Gary said he was talking slow and he had to pour flour on a guy and he went and apologized. He said the actor told him not to worry because he knows how to play the game. Howard said he's taken acid so he knows what that can be like. Gary said that Carradine was saying it would look good in slow motion. Gary said he was in slow motion at that point.
Howard asked Gary if he got to hang with all of the guys he worked with. Gary said he did. He said that he's close with some of those guys.
Gary said he'd like Howard to write a blurb for his book. Howard asked him to please not do that. Howard said he's done enough blurbs.
Howard asked Gary about getting close to 1978 when he was in The Buddy Holly Story. Howard asked how they found him out of everyone. Gary said he was found when he was young and he was told that he was going to play Buddy Holly. He said he had to do a movie called Big Wednesday. He said he went in and met the people making the story and he corrected them on the stories they had about Buddy. He said he wished them luck with the movie and said he had to go out and surf. Gary said he was just in there and it meant nothing to him. He said they called him back and asked him to record something. He said he wasn't going to do it in the room they were in. He said they asked him to go to a studio and he went and did 2 songs. He said there were 35 people in the room. He sang some of what he did back then. Gary said he also did ''It's Always Raining in my Heart'' as well.
Howard asked Gary about when he started doing the things where he explains what words stand for. Gary said that he started that about 10 years ago. He said that NOW means No Other Way. He said that Simple stands for ''See it manifesting precious loving energy.'' Robin asked if he sees that in every word. Gary said he does. He said that all came after his brain surgery and his trip to the other side.
Howard asked Gary if he was nervous when he went in for that audition for Buddy Holly. Gary said he's never nervous. He said he's always confident. He said he was given that.
Howard said it must have been exciting when he got the lead in the Buddy Holly movie. Gary said it was very exciting. He said it paid a ton of money for him at that point. Howard said it must not be near what they made on that movie. Gary said he didn't have points on the back end. Howard said that movie did everything for him. Howard said he sang the songs live in the movie. Gary said you can hear Buddy in that clip. Howard was playing a clip from the movie with Gary singing. Howard would stop and Gary would tell him to play more.
Howard asked why it was so incredible that he played live in the movie. Gary said maybe no one ever did it live in a movie. Howard said the big deal is that he sang it as it was filmed. Robin said usually they did over dubbing but Gary didn't have to do that. Howard played another clip from the Buddy Holly Story.
Howard said he was thinking that he had to lose a lot of weight for that. Gary said he was 167 at the time. Howard said he was a big football player before that. Gary said he did Big Wednesday before that. He said he could swim for an hour and surf for 4 hours. He said he could run a mile and a half on the beach too and he was never tired.
Howard asked if he's good at surfing too. Gary said yes. Howard said he's like a wonder kid. Howard said maybe all of that shit just came so easy. Gary said it's natural.
Howard said when the motorcycle accident happens he could have died. Gary said he didn't though. Howard said he believes that he's going somewhere when he dies. Gary said he believed that a long time ago. Robin asked if he goes as Gary Busey. Gary said the dense body we live in goes back to dust but the soul and spirit goes to the other side and has another pattern of life. He said you can go here, there and everywhere. He said there are 367 ways to see an elephant. Robin said 'Okay...'' Gary said he saw a full moon in the sky and he figured there were 360 ways to see it in a circle. He said that you see the elephant in 360 different ways.
Howard asked what happened with the motorcycle accident. Gary said he went around a corner and he hit sand. He said he back wheel started fishtailing and he hit the rear brake and then the front and it flipped him over. He said he had a split skull from that. He didn't have a helmet on at the time. He got the law changed because of that. Gary said that there should be a helmet law for that and other sports too.
Howard asked if he remembers the accident. Gary said he does. He said that he remembers it vividly. He said he didn't feel a thing though. Howard said he wondered about that. Howard said he wonders if you feel the pain. Gary said he was unconscious for a while. Howard asked if he would ever get on a motorcycle again. Gary said that's not on his list of things to do. Howard said he knows people who have lost limbs from riding. Howard asked if he wants to tell kids not to ride. Gary said not at all. He said they wear their helmets in California now.
Howard asked Gary if it became a weight on his shoulders trying to pick movies after the Buddy Holly movie. Gary said not at all. He said the parts pick him he doesn't pick the parts. Howard said he must have to make some wise decisions. Gary said he makes it from his heart and spirit.
Howard said Gary got to host Saturday Night Live back in 1979. Howard asked if he was abusing drugs back then. Gary said he wasn't. He said that he just remembers starting before Saturday Night Live getting the bag of coke.
Howard asked if he wishes he could go back and take back the regrets. Gary said he doesn't call them regrets. Howard said you feel invincible when you're young. Gary said he's always felt that way. He said he's not afraid of dying. He said he has left his body twice. He said he left it the second time in Flagstaff, Arizona. He said he didn't breathe for 5 minutes and it felt wonderful.
Howard said Gary was on a roll before the motorcycle accident. Howard said he did Lethal Weapon too. Gary said he was floundering for a while after the Buddy Holly movie. Howard asked what would happen that made him difficult. Gary said he was difficult with himself. He said that made people think he was difficult with them.
Howard said Gary did Lethal Weapon. Howard asked if he's friends with Mel Gibson. Gary said he is. Howard said that guy seems to have gone off the deep end. Howard said Lethal Weapon was a great movie though. Howard asked if he was cast because he was in Buddy Holly. Gary said that the movie was cast already and his agent told them they had to see him. Gary said he went in to read for the part and the hair on the backs of their necks raised up. Gary said he did it so well without the script that they were blown away. Howard said he read it ahead of time and memorized it. Gary said that's what he did. Howard said he blew them away that they fired the guy who they had cast. Gary said they either paid him off or fired him.
Howard said that must have been one hell of an audition. Gary said they might still have it. Howard asked if he knows who had the part at the time. Gary said no. He said that's not his business. Howard said that's amazing.
Howard said knowing what to do in an audition is important. Gary said he was taught film technique and camera work. He said that you read the pages to yourself 20 times and read the lines said to you silently. He said you do that 20 times. Gary said he was able to remember it all. He said he has a good memory game. He had Howard repeat after him. Howard bailed on that after a few. Gary said he wanted to go to 9 and he rambled something out. Howard said he could never do that.
Howard said Gary was in Predator 2. He said that was a great one too. Howard said Gary's son Jake is an actor too. Gary said his son has a movie called Dead Ants coming out. Howard said Jake was in Ray Donovan with Jon Voight. Howard said his kid is a good actor. Howard said he was good in ray Donovan. Gary said he's great.
Howard said Gary is there because he's in a docu-series called American MC. Howard asked what it's about. Gary said it's about a motorcycle club. Gary wasn't aware that it was called American MC. Howard asked why he's doing this. Gary said he can't remember what it's about. Gary said he hasn't heard of this. Howard said it's on iTunes. Howard said that's what he's there promoting. Gary said okay, be sure to get it on iTunes. Gary said Howard is making this up. He said he knows him and his Jewish ways. Howard said he's not making this up. He said it's called American MC and it's on iTunes. Gary kept calling for Stephanie to come in and give him the information. Gary said Mrs. Busey wants to come in. Howard told him to send her in.
Howard said there's Mrs. Busey. Stephanie came in and told Howard about going to a psychic and how she knew Gary's name when she asked her to tell her about her life. She said they were together 32 lifetimes.
Stephanie said that she wants to remind Gary about the American MC thing. She said he did it 10 years ago and it's now available. Howard said he doesn't know what the hell is going on in there. Stephanie had to remind Gary about what that was about. Gary remembered it was about a motorcycle club and he rode from Scottsdale to the Grand Canyon.
Howard asked Gary and Stephanie how they met. Stephanie said her family used to have a beauty supply store and Gary came in to take a girl out to lunch. She said he took a double take when he saw her. She said he saw she had hypnotherapy cards on the counter. She said she mellowed him out with that. She said that was 10 years ago.
Howard asked how she fell for Gary. Stephanie said he was coming into the shop every week and asking her about hypnotherapy. She said that he got to know her that way.
Howard asked if being married to Gary is like a roller coaster. Stephanie said not at all. Gary said she's able to move him places real quick. He said she's encouraged his health and takes good care of him. Howard asked if he's a good husband. Stephanie said he is. She said he's an angel in an earth suit. Howard said that's some description. Stephanie said that Jeff Bridges said that to him. Gary said she has that backwards. He said he said that to Jeff. Gary said he told Jeff that when you have an experience like that then you pass over to the other side and when you come back it's real simple. He said you're an angel in an earth suit. He said that Jeff took that and used it in a movie he was doing.
Howard asked if Gary is a good lover. He asked if he's a 10. Stephanie said he is. Howard said the man has been around. Howard asked if they're going to have more kids. Stephanie said she's done. She said it's one and done. She said being a mom was really hard for her.
Howard said he thinks they've talked about it all. He was summing up but Gary didn't think they were done. Gary said there are 7 year cycles that happen there and they're going through sexual harassment right now. He said the rocks are being turned over and the snakes are coming out from under their rocks. He said that next year will be so beautiful. Gary said this is what encounters create. He said they create change. He said it will get worse before it gets better.
Howard said it's been good seeing them. Howard said he thinks they're going to wrap up now. Gary said he's not done yet. Howard said he has to say goodbye. Robin said this is the Gary they know. Gary said he's not going to leave.
Howard asked Gary how he forgives Mel Gibson for the anti-Semitic rant. Gary said that's because of his father. He said he forgives Mel for that. Robin asked if he's an angel in an Earth suit. Gary said not yet. Howard said they support Mel Gibson and they're happy about the Hollywood clean out. Gary said there's more to it than that. He said that it's going to change everything. Howard said that's right because some guy in a post office may not harass some women because he'll be afraid.
Gary said they're going to vacuum all of this up and get rid of the dirt bag. Howard said that or a douche bag. Howard asked Gary about being on The Apprentice with Donald Trump. Howard asked if he could have predicted that. Gary said no. Gary said politics isn't something he goes into. He said it's another carnival he wants no part of. Howard asked if Donald was a supporter of his. Gary said not now.
Howard asked Gary if he is friends with Trump. Gary said he would say he is but he's not endorsing anyone. He said that he won't go to the White House or anything unless he's asked to do something for the kids.
Howard said he wonders what the other 32 marriages were like with Gary. Stephanie said it was ''lifetimes'' not marriages. Gary said he might have been a dog and she may have been his owner who was a man.
Howard gave Gary some plugs and said you can follow him on Twitter @TheGaryBusey. Howard said he has a web site at GaryBusey.com. Gary said that they're also bringing awareness to Kawasaki disease because their son had it. Gary had Stephanie talk about that. She told Howard about it and Robin said he thought that was a motorcycle. Gary said he only rides a Harley. He said you can find out more about that stuff at BuseyFoundation.org.
Howard wrapped up with Gary and said that this is Stephanie but not Stephanie Busey. Gary said that they've been together for 9 years so they're married. Stephanie said she doesn't want to get married. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said people were asking about the big bonus show this Thursday. Howard said he got a lot of email about High Pitch Erik and his surgery. Howard read through some of that. Howard said one person wrote that he thinks Erik will be 500 pounds in a year. There were a bunch like that. Howard said someone wrote that he lost 190 pounds and Erik could die with one slip. The small stomach can cause immediate drunkenness. Howard said he may not know that.
Howard read some email about Gary the Conqueror and Taylor Swift too. Howard said that someone said she's not good looking. Robin said she looked gorgeous on Saturday Night Live. Howard said some people wrote in about Robin and learning to cook from TV. Howard said people wrote in about JD's owl sound. He said someone was angry at Ralph for talking down to JD.
Howard said he got some compliments for Ronnie. Howard had some feedback about Scott the Engineer too. He played a song parody that Scott performed. Howard said someone wrote in about Hank the dwarf being the best Wack Packer ever. He put Bobo in dead last.
Robin read a story about new guidelines being issued about blood pressure. Robin said it's going to make more Americans hypertensive. Robin read about the changes and how they're going to try to scare people into getting into better shape.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he did for Jimmy Kimmel's birthday. He said he heard that they did a bit for Jimmy for a comic book he wrote as a kid. Howard said he was over at Kimmel and he read a mean tweet thing and they played it. Howard said he did it because he didn't want to be a dick. Howard said Jimmy has a whole network of friends out there. He said he got him a Starbucks card. He said he sent him 50 roses and a man bun. Howard said you can buy a pre-made one. Howard said he re-gifted that.
Robin read a story about how they're trying to rule out hate speech on social networks. Robin had some details about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Church of England saying that children should be free to explore their gender identity. Robin had more details on that.
Robin read a story about the MTA in New York City nixing ''Ladies and Gentlemen'' from their announcements. Robin said they will go to a more gender neutral message.
Robin read a story about a guy named Warren Jeffs. Robin asked Howard if he knows who that is. Howard said he doesn't. Robin said he's one of those polygamists who started his own church and he's serving time for rape. Robin had some audio of one of the daughters talking about how they weren't allowed to go to doctors. They were only allowed to make their own music too. Robin said she also talks about sexual abuse. She had a story about being taken to a book store and shown pornography. Robin said that the guy is still running his cult from prison.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing an impression of Gary and talking about the Gary Busey interview. He also did a Jon Hein impression and reciting his lines from the Wrap Up Show. Howard let him go in the middle of that. Howard said he thinks they got their boy back with the good impressions.
Robin read a story about an Olympic gymnast who says that the doctor of the gymnastic team was abusing her. Robin had some audio of her talking about that on the Today show. Robin said he was sticking his finger in a bad place with no glove. Robin said he has been accused by over 140 women of abuse.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was listening earlier and it seems like every time he gets a compliment he gets away from it. Howard said it's true. Robin said that's a rude thing to do. Howard said he heard that in therapy. He said he has tried. Howard asked Robin to compliment him. Howard kept cutting her off and asking what else was in the news. Howard cut the caller off and said he wants to get to news.
Robin said that Tom Sizemore was sent home from the set of a TV show when he had inappropriate behavior with an 11 year old. Robin said that they were supposed to be posing as a family in a scene and the 11 year old felt something from Tom. Robin said he was sent home after that.
Robin read about Ivanka Trump giving a speech about sexual harassment. Howard said that's interesting. Robin had a clip of Ivanka talking about harassment and how that can never be accepted. Robin said she faced immediate backlash after that speech when people questioned her father's history. Robin said that Melania Trump wants to prevent cyber bullying but her husband is a cyber bully. Howard said maybe they should pick different subjects.
Robin read a story about George HW Bush having another accuser come forward about groping. Robin had some details about that alleged groping.
Robin read a story about Trump going to an event in Asia where everyone was wearing a blue blazer. Howard said they looked like they were all in a band together. Robin said when Putin and Trump met they were wearing the same jacket. Howard said everyone was crossing and holding hands too.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was trying to compliment him. Howard hung up on her after a few seconds. Howard said he doesn't like the complimenting. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Roy Moore being accused of sexual assault by another woman. Robin had some audio of the woman talking about this accusation. Robin said she was 16 at the time and that he had assaulted her in a car. Robin said she says that she would have taken it to the grave if it wasn't for the other brave women who have come forward. Robin said Moore denies that any of this happened. Howard said they say he may win anyway. Howard said no one seems to care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said no one has mentioned Riley Martin in the Wack Pack thing. He said that's blasphemous. Howard said point well made. He said that he gave that guy his own radio show. Howard said he's gone too. He said the Wack Pack is dying off and he doesn't like it.
Howard said that some people in Alabama say they would rather vote for a pedophile than a democrat. Howard asked what's wrong with people. Howard said he heard that they were saying that Jeff Sessions should resign but then run for Senate because he could win. Howard said everything seems so bleak. Robin said it's sad. Howard said he wants to move to a remote area and live off the land. Robin said there's a big learning curve to that. Howard said he'd hire people.
Robin read a story about some women from the show One Tree Hill who are saying that there was someone there who made them uncomfortable trying to kiss women on the show all the time.
Robin read a story about a group who are going around the country trying to educate Americans about Islam. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about Mitt Romney and how people are hoping he gets back into politics. Robin said a group is hoping he'll run for senate. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about having places to go to shoot up heroin. Robin said in Denver they're talking about having a legal place to do that. Robin said up in Vancouver they've had sites like that for 14 years. Howard said they do that in Europe too. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said Roy Moore brought his wife out to defend him. Robin had some audio of her talking about being with him for over 32 years. She said that he's never lifted a finger to her once. Robin said he loves everyone but gays and transgender people. Howard did his impression of the woman talking about her husband and the things he's never done to her. He said that's such an embarrassing thing to have to go on TV to talk about. Howard kept going with the crazy things that he never did to his wife.
Robin read a story about California having an industrial park for the marijuana industry. Robin said they will have a pot complex. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about that.
Robin read a story about the Queen breaking protocol when they had the remembrance of fallen soldiers. Robin said she lays a wreath on that day but this year she attended but let Prince Charles lay the wreath. Robin said they say that's a signaling of a transition.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Fallon returning to The Tonight Show last night. Robin had some audio of Jimmy talking about the passing of his mother. Robin said he had a tribute to his mother to start the show. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about the busy show they have coming up. He said they have Jon Stewart coming in. He said they have much to do. He said he will also remind you that they are live tomorrow. He said they're doing an extra whole show on Thursday. He said it's time to give back. He said it's his gift.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he's doing. Howard said he was up 2 times to pee last night so his sleep was interrupted. He said it's become a thing. Robin asked if he goes back to sleep. Howard said he did last night the first time. Howard said the second time no. He said he woke up around 4 in the morning and had to pee. He said his wife was up so sexual intercourse occurred. Howard said he had to get up and go to work after that. Robin said he lasted until he had to go to work. Howard said that poor woman has to sleep with him.
The caller said he's at school and he needs him to talk him through the day. He said he's in high school. Howard said he can't talk to him about peeing and his wife. Robin asked how old he is. The kid is 15. Howard said he's been thinking a lot about his youth. He asked Joey if he goes to school and feels nervous all the time. Joey said he does. He said he's a decent student though. Howard asked where he would rather be. Joey said he'd rather be at home playing Xbox or watching a movie. Howard said he reminds him of himself. Howard said he didn't pay attention in school and he wanted to be home. Robin said she thought he hated school. Howard said he did but he felt in danger at school.
Howard said his biggest regret in life is that he wasn't turned on to education. He said his parents told him it was important but he didn't know why. Howard said he wishes he had a mentor who could have turned him on to it. Howard said his teachers weren't bad but he didn't understand. Robin asked if he had any teachers that reached him. Howard said no one cared about him and that's the public school system.
Howard said his advice to Joey is to throw himself into it. Howard told him to keep a calendar. Howard said you have to keep track of homework and embrace this education. Robin asked if he has any goals. The kid's father got on the line and he said Howard is his hero. He said all he wants to do is be with his girlfriend and play Xbox. Howard said he knows what he means. Howard said he didn't pay attention and he never read a book. He said it would have been such a great time in his life if he had read a book. Robin said she had goals. Howard said he's getting to that.
Howard said if he had studied he could have met girls and been educated. Howard said it's like being James Bond. Howard said go take Karate or something and become a Superman in a way. Robin said he has to be interested in that. Howard said he's trying to get him interested. Robin said he should follow his passion. Howard said he's trying to give him some passion. Howard said the girls as you get older if you have this going for you are going to think you're a winner. Howard said you're cheating yourself if you don't do this.
Howard said he's going to do something he's never done before. He said he's going to connect him with someone on the phone. He said he's going to take him on a journey. He said this is what can happen if you don't pay attention in school. He got Jeff the Drunk on the phone. Howard asked Jeff if he paid attention in school. Jeff said of course not. He lives in a trailer by himself drinking and playing Xbox. Howard said that's what will happen to Joey. Jeff said that's right. Robin said there are no girls either. Howard asked Jeff if he wishes he had paid attention. Howard told him to tell Joey. Jeff yelled at Joey to save himself. Howard asked if Joey heard that. Joey said he doesn't actually know. Howard said he told him to save himself.
Howard said this is the Drunk of Christmas Future. Howard said he's telling him to save himself. Howard said let that be a warning. Howard told him to start scheduling things. He said be the CEO of Joey Inc. Howard said take over your life man. He said become an executive of Joey.
Howard said he is fascinated by this guy Roy Moore. He said today they announced that this guy was banned by a mall. Howard said when he was a younger man a mall in Alabama had to ban this guy. Robin said this is what he does not remember. Howard said they have every degenerate in the mall and this guy was banned. Howard said the guy is a maniac and he was banned by the mall. Howard said he's never met a human being banned by a mall. Robin asked how you end up being a judge after that. Howard said he knows a guy named Big Foot on the show and he's never been banned by a mall.
Howard asked Joey if he's going to change it up. Joey thanked Howard for the advice. Howard told him to become an ace. He said he had this fantasy the other day. He said it was that he had a mentor in school and they led him in the path of enjoying education. Howard said maybe he would have been into something like psychiatry like in that show Mindhunter. Howard said maybe everything would have changed. Howard told Joey to go to the light and follow your passions.
Howard asked Joey what his dream is. Joey said he wants to work on Wall Street. Howard told him to do it and read the books by that guy he reads. Howard asked what his name is. Robin said he's the Berkshire Hathaway guy. Howard said it's Warren Buffet. Howard said he will get so inspired by this guy. Howard said go read about that guy. Joey said okay. Howard said become the next Bernie Madoff. Howard said he knows what he means.
Howard said don't pay attention to Facebook and Twitter. He said that's all a waste of time. He said Xbox is the devil. He said learn guitar. Joey said he tried guitar. Howard said go do it. Howard let him go after that.
Howard was going to get back to Roy Moore. He asked people not to call him with their kids. Howard said he has a teacher on the line who wants to talk to him about Joey. Howard took the call and the woman said she can only do so much. She said she will try to help people succeed but they have to want to succeed. Howard said that goes in one ear and out the other. Howard said they told him that too. Howard said if he had to do it all over again he'd do so many things. He said he was such a putz.
Gary came in and said that when Roy Moore was banned from that mall he was the assistant district attorney. He said you have to be doing something awful to be banned from a mall. Howard said they let anyone in the mall.
Gary said they have a list of states who take the most taxes and give back the least. Gary said Alabama is at the top of the list. Howard said they should be allowed to tell them who their senator is going to be. Howard did his hillbilly impression and goofed on the hillbillies down there.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk has never been banned by a mall. Howard said OJ could run for senate down there and win.
Howard said Jason and Gary did some research and found out that Alabama is 5th on the list for taking more taxes than they give back. Howard said they have to use their fucking heads down there. Howard said they have to have some brains.
Howard did more of his hillbilly impression and goofed on the idiots down there. Howard spent a few minutes doing that. He said those welfare mother fuckers. He said they're all on Obamacare and they complain about it.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing the part of a guy who was banned from a mall for fucking a Cinnibon roll.
Howard did more of his hillbilly impression and talked about what a mess Roy Moore is. Howard said it's time for some of these senator dudes to say they won't serve with him. He said they should give him a huge wedgy and kick him out. Howard said he was banned by a mall. Howard said it's almost like the people there want to show that they're not part of the United States and they're showing it by doing this. Howard said they think they can win in the long run and put Roy Moore in there to teach people about their civic duties. Howard said there has to be someone better than Roy Moore or Jeff Sessions. Howard said that guy lies all the time too.
Howard said he doesn't think Charles Manson has been banned by a mall. Robin said they might do it now. Howard said they didn't do it before. Howard said this guy isn't the one to vote for. He said he thought it was funny when they voted for Sanjaya. Howard said that was a goof. Robin said they voted for the worst person on purpose.
Howard said Hitler was never banned from a mall. He said there's not another human being on the planet who gets banned from a mall.
Robin said that Sean Hannity is all upset about this too. Howard said that he thought Sean Hannity had some common sense. Howard said he did his show and thought he was with it. Howard said now he's thinking of withdrawing his support of the guy. He said he should just call it a day and withdraw. Howard said he heard the ban from the mall thing and he couldn't believe it.
Howard said when he was a kid his friends went to the mall and stole some stuff. He said they got caught and they weren't even banned from the mall. Howard said you have to be a fucking maniac to be banned from the mall. Howard said malls are hurting today but not back then when he was banned. Howard said people were banging on the doors to get in. Howard said especially on Black Friday.
Gary said Brent wants to come in with more information about Roy Moore. Howard played some audio of Kayla Moore defending her husband. Howard played that before Brent came in.
Brent came in and said you have to be a super creep to be banned from the mall while you're the assistant D.A. Howard did his impression of Kayla Moore talking about her husband. He had her talking about the mall ban and what he's missed out on.
Howard asked if Brent can imagine what he was doing to get banned. Brent said the mall cops have seen everything. Brent said he was chief justice of Alabama and he was kicked out twice. He said he put up a stone statue of the 10 commandments in the court. He said they had to remove it and he refused so he was kicked out a second time. He said that the law came down about same sex marriage and he refused to follow that. Howard did his impression of Roy while they were talking about that.
Brent said the guy who is running against him is Doug Jones. He said he tried a case that put some people away for burning a girl. Robin said that's why they need him. Brent said that he seems like a really good guy. Howard asked how Roy Moore talks to Santa now if he's banned from the mall. He did an impression of Kayla talking about that.
Howard said the guy running against Moore has to feel like a shithead. Howard said he's a competent man and Roy Moore has been banned by the mall. He said this guy is still running behind. Howard said this is a the bizzaro world. Howard said that Roy Moore signed the accuser's yearbook and he's denying that. Howard said they have to bring in an expert to check into that.
Brent said he was shocked when some of the republicans came forward and said they believe this woman. Gary said they say if this guy wins the senate is going to expel him. Gary asked if they have to do another vote. Brent said the governor will replace him and they will have a special election. He said Roy Moore could run again.
Brent said he was reading that the senate hasn't expelled anyone since 1862. Brent said they're not sure if they can do this if it happened before he was a senator. Howard said pedophelia used to keep you from winning an election. Howard said now Trump is president and he won after the locker room talk tape came out. Brent said that Wikileaks came out with the Hillary Clinton emails after that. He said that sucked up some of the media oxygen. Howard did more of his Roy Moore impression and goofed on him for a short time.
Howard said they're paying all of the taxes for Alabama. Howard said they shouldn't be allowed to have a senator.
Howard said if you want to check in with him Ronnie and Scott are going on vacation together. Howard said he had to go to his dentist and he was in the car with Ronnie yesterday. He said he thought his head was going to explode in traffic. Howard said he stopped so short he thought they were hit by another car. He said Ronnie asked what he was talking about. Howard said he kept asking him what was with the traffic. He said he just did that to get to him. He said he should record all of this. He said he doesn't feel like it's that funny while it's going on.
Howard said Ronnie hasn't tweeted a naked girl since November 3. He said something is going on. Ronnie came in and said that he has been posting stuff. He said that this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. Ronnie said he's picky about what he puts up.
Howard asked what's going on here. Brent said he thinks he's just busy. Ronnie said he has put stuff up. Howard said they looked and he hasn't. Jason said there's nothing up there. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he's been favoring other people's things. Howard said that's ''favoriting.'' Ronnie said he retweets stuff. Gary said that someone wants to come in to say that he hasn't cleaned up his act at all.
Shuli came in and said that Ronnie should tell him about the video he showed him on his phone the other day. Ronnie said it was on his phone. He said he didn't post it. Shuli said it was a woman and she was being licked by a dog. Howard laughed. Howard asked if he thinks that's not bad. Ronnie said yeah. Shuli said he ran up to him and said check this shit out. Ronnie said he was just showing it. He said he didn't make it.
Howard said when he's at work he should just stand there and not show people this stuff. Howard said he can't be doing this at work. Ronnie said Shuli shows him that shit all the time. He said he was stealth with it. Howard said if he's looking at his phone he's not watching the halls. Howard said he's not understanding. Ronnie said he is. Howard said just stand there and not be like this. He said he doesn't want him interacting with Shuli. Howard said just stand there like a wooden Indian.
Mark said that Shuli's a rat like Brent. He did his Ronnie impression when he said that. Howard said he can't be doing this in the halls. Howard said Ronnie has shown him stuff like that too. He said the H.R. department has a whole Ronnie department there.
Howard said he wants Ronnie to wear one of those hats that the wear over in England. Howard and the guys were doing their impressions of Ronnie and goofing on him about all of this.
Shuli said that he almost couldn't talk when he showed it to him. He said that he was so excited about it. Brent said imagine a marine security guard did this at the White House. Howard said those guys do not fuck around. Howard said you can't even joke with those guys. Howard said he knows a guy who does that for a job. He said look at the guards at Buckingham Palace. He said you can walk up to the and they stare your ass down. Mark said yeah but they're not verified on Twitter! He did that in his Ronnie voice.
Howard said Ronnie should want to be good. He said he knows he wants to be but he can't. He said an hour into the show he shows video of a woman being licked by dogs. Howard said people shouldn't know his name in the hall out there.
Robin said Ronnie shouldn't know what's on his phone. Ronnie said that someone sent him the video earlier in the morning. He said that's how he knew about it.
Howard asked Ronnie why he's going on vacation with Scott. Ronnie said Scott got a free weekend and he felt bad for him. He said Stephanie told him to just go to the NASCAR race at Homestead. He said that he can't bomb out on this now. He said you lose all of the money if he did. He said he ''hemmed and hored'' over it. He said he wasn't going to go but Scott said he had it all arranged. Ronnie said he told him he was going to have to go to his granddaughters thing and Scott got all upset.
Ronnie said Scott was all excited about going to this thing and he didn't want to stop him. He said he was willing to spend whatever it takes. Ronnie said he gets to see all of his buddies down there so he doesn't care. He said he's going to a deep sea thing on Saturday. He said that's in Key Largo. He said the race is on Sunday. He said he's taking Scott on that trip too. Howard said he bets they're going to end up on an island like Gilligan's Island.
Shuli said that Ronnie walks around like he's 10 feet tall at those NASCAR races. He said he's really in his element there. Ronnie said he's not asking people to say hi. Shuli said he didn't say he did.
Howard said Scott is pissed that Ronnie is talking shit about the trip. Howard had Scott come in. Ronnie said if they cancel they have a year to use it. He said that they could lose out on it. Ronnie said his granddaughter didn't have dance recital. Scott said that Ronnie was the one who wanted to go on this trip. He said he was the one pushing for it.
Howard asked if Ronnie showed Scott the dog licking the woman clip. Ronnie said he didn't show it to anyone else. Ronnie said they do a group text and Kurt Busch is in it. Scott said Ronnie can go to this thing by himself if he wants to. Scott said he's having a really bad day and he can't talk about it. He said he was up all night. That's all he can say about it.
Ronnie said that he is in this group text and they put up videos and pictures. He said he put one up of a hot looking chick and it shows her dancing and then she drops her panties and her cock drops out. He said they got so pissed off that they suspended him for a week. He said they kicked him the fuck out.
Howard said these guys are having some bawdy humor and he comes in with a wrecking ball. Ronnie said you should see what they post. He said that he got thrown out because it was a guy's cock. Howard asked who gets banned from a dirty text ring? Ronnie. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Ronnie talking about that stuff.
Howard said all he knows is that he finally got in with the NASCAR guys and even they think he's too dirty. Ronnie said this chick looked so hot. Howard said that's what he should show instead of this other stuff. Howard said if he just warns you about what he's going to show it's okay.
Shuli said he likes that Ronnie is shocked that he got banned. Ronnie said they had to ban another guy last night because he posted this big fat chick video where she farts. Howard and Fred did more of their Ronnie impressions. Howard asked how you get banned from that text group. He said they're real men and they were grossed out by Ronnie.
Mark said Ronnie is the best ambassador for the show ever. Howard said he's not. He said he's seen sixth grade hall patrols be more professional. He said that Ronnie is going to have to wear one of those Buckingham Palace outfits. He said a uniform will remind him to be professional. Ronnie said he doesn't need that.
Howard said he had to tell Ronnie that he has to wear a suit. Howard said he was getting into jeans and stuff. Howard said he told him to wear the suit.
Howard said he thought his head was going to explode yesterday in the traffic. Ronnie said he just sat there. He said Howard is the one who was freaking out. Howard said he jerked forward so hard that he thought they hit someone. Ronnie said they have a sensor in the car and he got too close and that's what stopped them short. Howard said he could have explained that to him in the car. Robin said that turns you into a shitty driver apparently. Hard said Ronnie was right up on the car and he rushed up to the car. Howard said he needs a neck brace.
Howard said Ronnie said he's done working at the end of Howard's contract. Howard said he's going to announce he's doing another 5 years without Ronnie. Howard said he can't drive like this anymore. Howard said Ronnie is cursed.
Howard said they have to make a tape of their vacation. Howard said Shuli should follow them. Shuli said he has a gig this weekend.
Scott said that Ronnie was making demands about where to say and what car he had to rent down there. He said that he doesn't care where they stay. Ronnie said Scott said he doesn't care what kind of money it costs. Scott said Ronnie is driving the whole trip. Ronnie said he has to drive because he doesn't want to find out how Scott drives. Shuli said when he did that bowling tournament the closer he got to the bowling alley the worse the weather got.
Howard said he heard that Scott yelled at the production assistants for grabbing paper or something. Scott said he didn't yell at anybody. Howard said he can't believe they're going on vacation together. Ronnie said Scott asked him.
Shuli said he pissed Ronnie off once by giving him a handicapped room. Ronnie said they gave him a room with Scott first. He said then they put him in the other room. He said in the closet they have the hanger like a foot off the floor in the closet. He said you can roll right into the shower with your wheelchair too. He said that's why he picked the hotel this time.
Howard and Fred were doing impressions of Scott and Ronnie. Ronnie said Scott looked up some hotel in a shit town where you look out the window and see flat land. He said Scott told him they have free breakfast there. Scott said they're not going to be in the hotel that long. He said Ronnie wants some place that's $700 a night.
Howard played a song parody that Scott sang about burning his lungs. Howard asked if they're staying at the $700 hotel. Ronnie said no but they're staying in a nice place in South Beach. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he's way behind. Howard told Ronnie to go do his job out there. Ronnie said he has to go get their guest. Howard did more of his Scott impression and then did a live commercial read. They went to break after that.
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Howard said tomorrow they'll be there. Howard said they're going to have Robin in the guest seat. Howard said she will be his guest and not the news woman. Howard said he'll interview her about her life. Howard said they'll learn about her. Robin said she's been preparing for this interview. Robin said she has some things she wants people to know about her as an artist.
Howard said he's kind of into Robin's art because she doesn't hold back. Howard said she goes full voice. Howard said most people would not. Howard said that's what he loves about her singing. Howard said Robin just lets it out. He said she's full throttle. Fred played a bunch of clips of Robin singing.
Howard said when Robin was recording her new album ''Divas'' she was singing in a should proof booth and everyone could hear her in the office. Robin said she has a very powerful voice. Howard said she really does. Howard said he has to shut down when he hears her sing. Howard said it's almost like what a skunk does to its victim. Howard said she blinds him and sprays him. He said it's scary. Fred played more of Robin singing.
Howard said he asked Ronnie a couple of weeks ago not to show people video. He said the next thing he knows Shuli is telling him that he just showed him a video of a woman getting licked by a dog. Howard said people like Ronnie and sometimes he does really well. He said his memory is like that of a goldfish. Howard said he will stand there and pout if he points this stuff out.
Howard said Ronnie won't talk to him in the car and then the next day things are fine. He said there's not happy medium with him.
Howard said that someone gave him the movie Attack of the Killer Donuts. Howard said this makes Sharknado look good. Howard said some guy goes to a donut factory and the donuts attach themselves to people. He said he saw that C. Thomas Howell is in it. Howard said he's a good actor. Howard said he was in a bunch of good things. JD said he was in Southland. Howard said he liked him in that. Howard said he isn't even the star of this movie. He said that he really is a decent actor.
Howard said he is going to watch this movie. He said that it has really bad special effects though.
Robin said she saw a movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger holds a guy as a human shield and she figured he was classically trained. Howard said he probably was.
Howard said George Clooney was in the sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Howard said three people wrote this donut movie. He said that's how much effort they put into this thing.
Howard did his agent voice and wondered if Millie Bobby Brown is going to end up in one of those things one day. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard said then he gets there and asked if he can cut his mean Tweet before the show. Howard said they made him do it after. He said he had to spend more time in Brooklyn. He said he read it and it wasn't that funny. He said he watched the piece and the rest were funny but not his. He said his wasn't that great. Robin asked if he had a choice. Howard said he had 5 or 6 and he didn't put that much energy into it. Howard said he gets all angry and he doesn't put anything into it. Howard said he looked alright in it though. He said sometimes you wonder how these people got into show business. Howard said they have good looking actors. Robin said Ross moved out there and he's getting into shape. Robin said he told her he's doing that because he's in L.A.
Howard said he'll do anything for Jimmy. He said he did it and he let it fly. He said he was loose for that. He said that's how he ended up in the Mean Tweets thing.
Howard said he's turned it down before. He said he's not going to have people ridicule him. He said he makes fun of himself all day and night. He said he doesn't need to do Mean Tweets.
Howard said he feels bad enough about himself that he's not going to read Twitter. He said he used to but he stopped. Howard said he doesn't need to give anyone that power over him.
Robin said she read a quote the other day about how you're the product of God and if you talk bad about yourself then you're speaking against God.
Howard said he has a couple of quick clips. He said someone said ''One o'cock'' instead of o'clock on a newscast. Howard played the clip and the woman kept going and didn't correct herself. Howard said that's the way to do it. He said just ignore it. Howard said half the people aren't paying attention anyway.
Howard had a clip of a sports analyst and he was asked if the North Carolina cocks are going to the next level. The hosts were cracking up talking about that. Howard said that they should grow up.
Howard said there's something called Poutine up in Canada and it's French fries with all kinds of fattening stuff on it. Howard said in Louisville someone called it ''poon tang.'' Howard played the clip of the female news anchor calling it poon tang.
Howard played another clip where a sports announcer said that a guy took a ''big shit'' in a game.
Howard played another clip of a woman saying that a team ''shit goals for fun'' and he wasn't even sure what she was trying to say. Howard said she just said it and kept going.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked him for making her ride to work the best part of her day. She said she's going to miss him when he's gone. Howard said he's been saying he's leaving for the past 30 years. Howard said he's glad Jon is coming in today because he did leave and he's not working that hard. Robin said he is back. Robin said she can see there is a hunger there. Howard said he was so perfect on The Daily Show. Howard said when Jon was hosting it FOX News would attack him. He said he was like Walter Cronkite. Howard wondered if he misses it. Robin said he pops up on Colbert. Howard said he's the Executive Producer on that show. He said he has to pop up. Howard said he has to justify getting paid by Colbert. Robin said she thinks he misses being part of the political discourse. Howard said they'll talk to him about that.
Howard asked the caller what she does for a job. She said she works at a dermatology place. Howard said he got so much feedback about the woman who called in last week about getting the happy ending massage.
Howard said he has some email to read. Howard went through some email about Gary Busey and Gary the Conqueror. Howard read a bunch about those Garys.
Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult called in asking about money. He said it's getting close to the holidays. Howard played a clip of Wendy complaining about not having money and how she only has a little bit in the bank. Wendy said she hopes he's happy about that. Howard said she's getting to be a real nag. Howard said she wasn't banned from the mall but Roy Moore was. Wendy was saying she's aggravated and annoyed right now. Howard said she's always out of money.
Howard said she wants money so she can waste it on scratch off tickets. Howard played a song parody about Wendy.
Howard said the best part of the email was about the debate about Captain Janks being in the Wack Pack or not. Howard said they will get to more of that after Jon Stewart. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said he has Jon Stewart there and he's hosting the ''Night of Too Many Stars'' on HBO this Sunday night. Howard said this is the first time it's airing live. Fred played Goo Goo Dolls as he was coming in. Howard said Jon and Fred danced to that song years ago. Howard said that was really stupid when they did that. Jon said they were very stupid back then. Howard said they were way ahead of this gay wave. Howard said he was dressed as a woman. Jon was dressed as an officer. Jon said it was a simpler time. Robin said the rest of the world was sane so they could act like idiots.
Howard said he was thinking about Jon's last show. He said he's thinking about his semi-retirement too. Howard said people there always say that Jon is miserable now. Howard said they think he misses the limelight. Jon said he doesn't. Howard said what Jon Oliver does is one day a week. He said if Jon did that he may have stayed in the game. Jon said he thinks he'd get tired of that too. Jon said he got to a point where he kind of didn't think he could do anything else with it. He said you need someone with energy and stamina to go at it. He said he would have phoned it in. He said he was making decisions on if he would do bits based on if he had to change clothes. Jon said he was just wanted to stay upstairs and do things in his office.
Howard said Jon must have sat down and said he wasn't into the job and didn't want to knock himself out every day. Jon said he didn't want to diminish what the other people were doing. He said you get to a point where you know people have to cover for your cracks in the system. He said he was burnt on the system and it was the right time. He said social media was becoming part of it and it was the churn of that.
Howard said it must have been tough to do that job. He said people were on him all the time. Jon said if the right was mad at him they'd use his birth name. He said if you did something to upset them they'd use his Jon Leibowitz name. He said when the left got upset they would call him a literal piece of shit.
Howard said he brought that up because he's found as a Jew they bring up your name. He said that it cuts into you. Jon said it means that it's playing into the Crypto Jews and they're some kind of sleeper cell. Howard asked if that attack works. He said a lot of Jewish people feel shame. Howard said you get defensive but it is some kind of attack on you. Jon said that passive aggressive racism makes you want to tell them to just say it. He said he wasn't able to figure out what Trump's motivation was for his attack. He said that some people just punch back. He said that Trump called him Leibowitz. Jon said he did. He said it got funnier though. He said they had Twitter at the show and Trump was asking why he runs from his heritage. He said that people do change their names. He said he didn't care for his father so that's why he did it.
Jon said they came back with Trump's real name being Fuckface Vonclownstick. He said that sends him into a frenzy. He said people were just getting so worked up over that. He said Trump had to tweet out that name. He said the whole Twitter war ends and then 3 days later at 2:30 in the morning he wrote that he was a pussy and he'd be helpless in a debate with him. He said now he's the president.
Howard said in a way it gets fatiguing to do all of that. Howard said it's kind of sad because it almost forces you into retirement. Howard said the world has become such a dark place. Howard said he saw Jon was coming in and he was asked about Louis C.K.. Howard said that whole thing was so weird. Howard said they were almost attacking Jon about his friend Louis. Howard said this is all very fucking confusing. Jon said he has a tendency to be defensive. He said then it takes him a while to get over that and ''Rabbi it.'' Jon said he has an example of that. He said in the mid 2000s there was an article on a site called Jezebel that's a feminist leaning site. He said they wrote an expose of the Daily Show and how it's a boy's club mentality. Jon said he was wondering what the fuck that was. He said he's an OG feminist. He said that he was the enemy in his own house. He said that his mother calls his father Mr. Wonderful for dying.
Howard said Jon was raised by this forward thinking woman. Jon said this article comes out and there are things in it that are untrue and clearly an implication of true piggishness. He said that he went to the writer's room and asked if they could believe that. He said he asked all of the guys in the writer's room about it. He said then he looked around and went ''Ohhhh... that's what they're talking about.'' Jon said you have to get over that defensiveness to find the kernel of truth. He said he realized that they're not sexist but when you call agents for writers they only send you white dues from Harvard. He said the tributary that feeds the system is where it lays. He said you have to change that system and it takes effort.
Howard said Jon is under the microscope. He said they're going to come to you. Jon said they were right. He said if he could get past that defensiveness then he realized they were kind of right. He said it's not a pleasant thing. He said that the Louie thing came up because he was booked on this benefit show he's doing. He said he and Howard are in this studio now and Robin is in a terrarium. He said that she's not on the air. He said they have the good air and she has the ladies air.
Howard said that Jon was getting attacked over Louis C.K. and he hasn't had time to figure it out. Robin said he and Howard don't know what to do either. Jon said he knows that he didn't know what was going on with Louie. He said when he thinks about it he started out with a bunch of great people but they don't keep in touch. He said they see each other and they get back into it and talk but they don't have their numbers. He said Steve Higgins is someone he keeps in touch with but there are guys he hasn't kept in touch with the past 20 years. He said that his mother got upset when Woody Allen got in trouble and asked if he ever talked to him about that. Jon said he considers Louie a friend and he loves him as a comic. He said he was fun to work with. He said he hasn't kept in touch. Jon said he was asked about this about a year and a half ago. He said he did a podcast and this kid brought it up and asked about Louis C.K. being on his show. He asked about the sexual allegations. Jon said he starts talking about a woman's podcast. Jon said he's not in the comedy world so he doesn't know about this person he mentions. He said he mentioned Gawker. He said this kid knew about it but he doesn't. Jon said this kid is all over it but he's in the comedy business and friends with the guy he's talking about but he's never heard this story.
Howard said you want to hear more facts about the story. Jon said he had to Rabbi it a bit. He said that the kids find information on the internet and they think it's fact. He said he thinks that lies become fact on the internet. He said he knows about stuff that's been said about him that he knows isn't true.
Howard said he uses the internet for babysitter porn. Jon said that's the truest sense of what the internet is used for.
Jon said he sees it as a kid running from a monster and comes to his door thinking he's a nice guy and he wants to save him from the monster. Jon said he opens the door and he kid tells him about a monster. He said for him to show his obliviousness is almost like he's defending it. Jon said after this he checks it out. He said he takes a deep dive and it's a blind item. He said the woman said it was another comedian who told this story. Jon said he figured his job was done there. He said he really didn't know. He said the question is what if he did know. Jon said he doesn't know the women who are making the accusations. He said if one of them came to him and said 10 years ago Louie did this, what would he have done? He said he doesn't know if he would have worked with him or not. He said that makes him feel shitty.
Howard said he heard from a woman in the comedy world about this happening to her with Louie. Howard said it was presented to him in a way that it was consensual and it was hysterical to her. Howard said that's the only thing he had ever heard about it. Howard said it was consensual and she was kind of curious about it. Howard said it was like why is a comedian doing this. Howard said this woman wasn't offended by it. Howard said she didn't feel threatened by it. Howard said that's not something he's into and he'd never do that. He said it's nothing he gets and nothing he condones. He said if two people want to do it then that's their business. Howard said that's how he interpreted it. Howard said he had heard this story years ago. He wasn't even sure if it was true or not. He heard it from a third party.
Jon said if you go on and say you didn't know then the internet thinks you're lying and that you did know. Jon said there are web sites writing about how he was ''stunned'' by the allegations. Jon said they think they all knew. Jon said that these are reputable news sites so why didn't they break the story. Jon said they don't understand that he lives a reclusive and oblivious life. Jon said the part he criticizes himself on is ''what if I had known.'' He said he doesn't think he would have done something. He said that he doesn't think he would have felt the urgency of it.
Howard said he's grappling with this too. He said you hear about rape and it's clear. Howard said he knows women who have been raped and haven't come forward. Howard said he gets that. Howard said this whole thing they expect you to have the answers for. Jon said coming forward has a toxic atmosphere. Jon said with him by not embracing the kid with his allegation they think that he's contributing to an atmosphere that's toxic for that person to come forward and talk. Jon said he still believes in his own decency. He said he is fallible as fuck and he makes mistakes. He said he can grow. Jon said he thinks he can be helpful. He said he can still learn and change behavior. He said when they all come at him with using the word ''stunned'' and not ''surprised'' and go after him... Jon said they told him that Ellen Barken thinks he's a piece of shit. He said it creates a toxic environment for him to work it out. He said he's like fuck them, he's a decent person.
Howard said this has to be why he's enjoying not doing The Daily Show. Jon said completely. Howard said it has to be tough to go through all of that when he's in the spotlight. Howard said the constant ''I got you'' nature.
Jon said that he sort of started that. He said that he would say they were very careful about context and they tried to do their stuff smartly but the internet thought they were eviscerating these people. He said that they became weaponized.
Howard said even now Jon is taking the blame for what he did on The Daily Show. Howard said that he had a great accomplishment. Robin said they anoint you and that happens before all of the arrows are slung. Robin said he taught us to laugh again.
Howard said he was thinking of the last Daily Show and he had Bruce Springsteen on. Howard asked if he saw his Broadway show. Jon said he did and it's brilliant. Howard asked if he read the book. Jon said he did. He said the way he ties things together at the end shook him a little bit. Howard said him too.
Jon said that he and Howard have pretty much the same Jew face. He said that his hair does a good job of obscuring it. Howard said Jon went grey. Howard said he has some grey but he has never colored his hair. Jon said Robin is beautiful and radiant over there. He said that black don't crack. He said Jews age like avocados. He said they turn brown and weird and shitty if you're left out. Jon said they bring guacamole out and it turns. He said that's what he feels like.
Howard asked if he colored his hair on The Daily Show. Jon said he didn't. Howard said he just went grey. Howard said he hasn't turned but there is some grey in there.
Jon got back to the Bruce Springsteen thing and talked about how great his Broadway show is. They spent a minute on that.
Howard said that Jon is doing this special for HBO. He asked if this is part of his deal over there. Jon said he has an animal sanctuary that he has to support. He said that he and his wife have that going on. Howard said his wife wants to meet his wife. Jon said that they'd get along so well. He said his wife is one of those people who walks in a room and you just know a good person walked in.
Howard asked Jon if he's become vegan now. Jon said he saw videos that his wife showed him and he had to stop eating meat. Jon said he was into meat and he had to see the cow killed him front of him. He said now he's a vegan. Jon said when you're around the animals it freaks you out because the animals have a personality. Howard said they say a cow is as smart as a 3 year old. Jon said he only eats 3 year olds now. He said they have two pigs who are 600 pounds and they are so playful. He said you pet their belly and they flop over and lay there like this is the best day ever. He said there's a relationship there. He said once you see that you can't unsee it. He said people are upset about the exploitation of the world. He said that many people don't have a problem with iPhones and who they're made by. He said that they overlook that. Howard said you go down a path and you can't get out of it.
Jon said people can be upset about the use of a word but then they step over a homeless person every day on their way to work. Jon said we can't get anywhere if it's all just claws. Howard said Jon was on the Today show and he comes out one day and he's getting hit by all of this shit storm.
Howard asked what it costs to run the farm. Jon said it's very expensive. He said they don't kill the animals and they have problems with the town. He said if they were a slaughterhouse they'd have no problems. He said that they have rules for farms and if you don't kill them then you have a lot more regulation. He said there's no right to farm protection unless you're taking them to market. Jon said that the veterinarians want to come see the animals because they don't seen them geriatrically. Jon said you never see a male Holstein cow. He said they are like elephants. He said they're gigantic and almost twice the size of a female. He said they're gentle giants. Howard asked if they grieve over deaths and stuff. Jon said they do. He said up in Watkins Glen you can see all of these animals. He said that this woman can call out a name and they will come to her. He said that it's amazing and beautiful.
Howard said he's seen his wife with the cats and it's overwhelmingly emotional. Robin said there's something about them all living in cities and you don't know where the food comes from.
Howard said he gets the impression that Jon isn't attached to stand up. He said Seinfeld loves it and he loves breaking down a joke. Jon said he's also the best. He said he's the kind of craftsman you'd go to in an old Italian village to get help with something. Howard asked if Leno is like that too. Jon said he doesn't know Leno that well. He said that Seinfeld was a hang out kind of guy and he's not like that. He said he's kind of a hermit. Howard said there's something to learn from that. Jon said he was at the club all the time when he was in the stand up world. He said he didn't have people over to his house or anything though.
Howard asked if he has talked to Letterman about retirement. Jon said no. Howard said Jon was able to walk away from a big show and he admires that. Howard said some day he'll have to walk away. Jon said Howard was able to find a balance. Jon said he has kids who are 13 and 11 and he was missing that. He said he saw them at crying times before bed and before school.
Jon said last year his son had a health crisis and he's happy he was there for him. He said he has Celiac disease. He said that he can't deal with gluten. He said his son would have episodes where he was in tremendous pain and then he'd vomit. He said they took all of the gluten away but he still had the attacks. Jon said they assumed he got some gluten. He said then he got older and it got worse. He said they started thinking something was really wrong. He said they had him eating bananas. He said they did an MRI on his belly and figured it was something where the intestines swell and telescope. He said they went in and his son drank some contrast fluid and he had one of his episodes. He said he was in such pain. He said they gave him morphine and they were hoping that he'd throw up because he feels better after that. He said it turns out his left kidney is 3 times the size of the right. He said that was his problem. He said he does have Celiac but he had a blockage in the left kidney. He said he'd drink the fluid and it would go right to the kidney. He said this was going on for years. He said what happens is that it can't burst. He said his urine was releasing into his body. He said then the kidney deflates and that's what made him throw up.
Howard asked if they did an operation. Jon said they did. He said what they did was go in with a arthroscopic tool. He said they take the tube to the bladder and remove that and then take out the blockage. He said he has this damaged kidney now but he's on medication. He said it's like he's reborn. He said that he was having the worst time and wondering why he was there. Howard said you feel helpless. Jon said it was unbelievable. He said you think back to those nights and he was in pain and you just tell him ''you're nervous'' and make him go to school the next day.
Jon said that he was in real pain and he still thinks about it and gets choked up. He said it was horrible. Jon said the whole experience was bad. He said that one night he tells his son that they're all just looking for an answer and they were the lucky ones who got an answer. He said some kids don't get that. He said some kids don't make it out. He said that's crazy.
Howard said it hits you like a ton of bricks. Jon said they are people of connections and money and you figure that's all you need. He said it doesn't save you heartache. He said Robert Smigel and his wife started this charity. He said their son had Autism at 1. He said they weren't able to find a school. Howard said Bob is the guy who does Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Jon said that's right. He said they had this kid who they weren't able to communicate with. He said they started this school and they weren't able to use that school for their kid. He said their kid Daniel had a lot of self injurious behaviors. He said he is more difficult to deal with. Howard asked if they have figure out what causes autism. Jon said he doesn't know. Howard said no one knows. Jon said this charity is not about the science. He said it's about services. He said that it's hard. He said it's expensive as hell.
Howard said the Night of Too Many Stars is on Saturday night on HBO. Howard said it brings money to this cause. Howard asked if this falls under his deal with HBO. Jon said he is producing it. He said the first one they did they did on NBC. He said they did it on comedy Central for a few years too. He said that he asked HBO if they were interested in this and they took it up.
Howard asked if doing it live is dangerous. Jon said no. Howard asked if they have to vet their routines. Jon said nah. He said that it's easier to say you're sorry than ask for permission. He said you can't outsmart the internet.
Howard asked Jon about his deal with HBO and how that all came about. Jon said he felt like he had to do something. He said when he's idle he just gets knocked out. Howard asked what he does in his day. Jon said he gets up and the kids get ready for school. Jon said he spends about 3 hours on things he's working on. He said he will work on stand up and come into the city once in a while. Howard asked if that's fun for him. Jon said it is. He said he doesn't get to talk to people during his day now. He said he misses that from the Daily Show. He said that was a way to process things. He said they'd sit in the room and talk during the day. Jon said he doesn't have that now.
Jon said the kids are at home mostly. Howard asked if that's weird for them. Jon said they bring them to school once in a while to visit. Howard asked what home schooling is like. Jon said it's hard. He said that they hire tutors and stuff. Jon said he'll bring them to lunch at the school once in a while. Jon said school is a lot of wasted time.
Howard said that Jon is the Executive Producer of Stephen Colbert's show too. Jon said yes. Howard said he thinks that comedy Central blew it with Jon Oliver and Stephen Colbert. He said Samantha Bee as well. Howard asked Jon if he's involved with Colbert's show or does he just check in. Jon said he just checks in. He said he's there when they need him. He said he doesn't want to get too involved because they know what they're doing. He said it was more about support when they need it. Howard said if Stephen loses trump he loses everything. Jon said he doesn't think so. Howard said he's really good at that monologue. Jon said he thinks he would have figured it out without Trump. Jon said he shed that character he was doing and he became more vanilla. Howard said he was lost and then he gave his opinion and he does it so great.
Jon said Stephen can recite the bible and the Lord of the Rings. Howard said the guy is really bright.
Howard said he thinks that Letterman is coming back because he misses it. Jon asked if Howard talks to him. Howard said no. He said Dave has called once or twice about something but it's quick. Howard said Dave has come up there and he's going to his Netflix show. Howard said it's a 90 minute thing in front of an audience. Howard said he's only doing 6 of them. Jon said that's the gig.
Howard asked Jon what he's doing for HBO. Jon said he might do a stand up special. He said he has some ideas for films. Howard asked how much material he has. Jon said he has some old Saddam Hussein material. Howard asked if Netflix ever approached him. Jon said there was no bidding war. He said a week ago there was an item about him turning down 50 million from Netflix because his wife would leave him. Jon said he asked his wife why she would leave him. He said she said sometimes a woman has to take a stand. Howard said it sounds like a good life. Jon said he's so proud of what they did at The Daily Show. He said he's proud of what the people who worked there have done. He said he watches some clips of Samantha Bee. He doesn't even watch Colbert every night. He said he watches the super hero shows. He said he likes The Flash, The Gifted and others. He said he stopped watching Supergirl because there's a lot of relationship stuff in that one. He said he had hope for Inhuman's. He said that it was not good. Howard said it was terrible. Howard said he watched it all though. He said they talk too much and don't use their power. Jon said he hates super heroes who use the power of acting.
Howard said he didn't know he was watching that kind of stuff. Jon said the kids are out of the Barney stuff now so it's great. He said he likes those shows. Howard said he always had to work and he didn't spend a lot of time with his kids. Jon asked what his relationship is like with the kids. Howard said he has worked hard on himself. He said he has tried to be the best dad he can be. He said he's trying to be connected and all of that. He said he thinks he's in a good place. Howard said he had to figure out how to have a relationship with the kids without his wife. Howard said that when you divorce you can check out or you can make a relationship that's authentic and real. Howard said it's been great. He said he feels closer to his kids than ever. Jon asked if they raise complaints with him about the marriage break up. Howard said yes. He said they sat him down and gave it to him. He said they were miserable about the divorce. Howard said they have done work in their relationships about the divorce. Howard said they talk about it all the time. Howard said that's the healthiest thing. He said he's not threatened by it.
Howard said he would get defensive about it and then he learned to shut the fuck up. Jon said his relationship with his father ended because of his behavior down the road after the divorce. He said the problem happened because as the relationship atrophies you no longer have a foundation to weather bad behavior. He said that was his dad's inability. He said marriages don't work sometimes. He said what he doesn't understand is why he didn't put some work into himself and ask his son about what he was feeling. Howard said that's very difficult to do. Howard said he knows how hard it is. He said he tells guys who get divorced they have to go to therapy. Jon said his dad's therapist was a type of brandy. Jon said his dad never met his kids. He said his kids are around the age that he was when his parents broke up.
Howard asked if he went to his dad's funeral. Jon said he did. He said that this is hard to talk about. Jon said his dad was a depressed guy. He said there was some mental illness on his side. He said when they got divorced he was glad his dad didn't live there. He said he was violent and it was bad. He said his dad had his job but he did the right thing by going into the army and all of that. He said he was an accomplished guy but he had an arrogance and insecurity. Jon said they split up when he was very young. He said he never connected with him. He said his brother connected with his dad. Howard asked if he wondered why he had kids. Jon said he wondered why he didn't like them more. He said now that he has kids it makes him even angrier.
Jon said when he was 17 he went to visit his grandmother in New Jersey. He said he gets a call from his dad who needs help moving his grandma's stuff. He said he sees his dad like once a month. He said they don't talk all that much. He said they're in the car and his dad asks if he gets remarried what he'd think. Jon said he was fine with that. He said then his dad tells him he's married and has a 2 year old. He said he was like ''You've got to be fucking kidding me.''
Jon said he worked for a landscaper and he was cutting the lawn at the apartment complex that his dad was living in. He said it was all very complicated and he was never able to cop to it. Jon said his dad was never able to support him when he got into the business. He said he got on Letterman and his dad would give him shit about that. Jon said that was all fine. He said that things just atrophied.
Jon said his grandfather on his mother's side died and his father calls. He said he was drunk when he called and tells him he was thinking about when he was born. Jon said this was big for him. He said he wanted to hear about that. Then his dad tells him that his mother was so bourgeois that she had to go to a certain hospital. Then they went to the hospital and he saw Gypsies come out of the elevator. Jon said this is when he decided that they were done. Howard asked if he ever reached out to see the kids. Jon said he didn't. He said his dad got dementia after that. Jon said his dad was never able to tell him he was proud of him.
Jon said he went to see his dad when he had dementia and he wanted to tell him he was okay and he had joy in his life. Jon said he and his brother went to see his dad and his wife and two kids were there. He said they're lovely people but he doesn't have a relationship with them. Jon said he saw them feeding his dad and he didn't feel bad for him as his father but he felt bad for this man and how his life was going to end. Jon said what he missed out on is the unconditional love you have for your family.
Howard asked Jon if he did work on himself for his family because when you have a father like that how do you undo that. Jon said he feels the opposite. He said he tells the kids he loves them all the time. He said his drive comes from his mother. He said she had two kids and no money and she was teaching special ed at the elementary school. He said she picked up by the boot straps and just did it. He said she was gone a lot and he was home alone a lot. Jon said his mother did it. He said he's not sure how she did it but she did. He said she worked her ass off. He said she made sure they were always taken care of. Howard asked if she tells him he's funny. Jon said she tells him his sweaters look raggedy. He said that his friends were the ones who he entertained. Howard asked how old he was when he did stand up for the first time. Jon said he was like 23 or so. He said he worked in a bar and he worked in a punk club in Trenton. He said it was a dangerous and violent place but he saw creative people there. Jon said he was so bad when he started.
Howard said he knows his first punch line. Jon said no way. Howard said it's ''Yidlock.'' Jon said that's it. Jon told Howard about going into the city and how all of the diamond stores open at once and all of the Hasidim rush out into the street to go to lunch and it all comes to a screeching halt and that's called Yidlock. Jon said that he hit them with that and it was horrible. He said he'd tried different things like different personas and stuff. He said Seinfeld was such an influence and he tried to do that kind of delivery and it wasn't good.
Howard asked how long it took to get that good. Jon said he started feeling good... what time is it? Howard said he doesn't think he's kidding. Howard said he hears the radio show and he's like ''Ugh.'' Jon said that he's happy that he was able to muster up the ability to drive to New York and make it happen. He said he did it. Howard said Jon worked at it and pushed himself.
Jon said he was working at a Mexican restaurant and that was awful. He said at night he'd go to the Comedy Cellar. He said back then it wasn't what it is today. He said the show would start at 8 and roll all night. He said that the guy who ran the club put him on as the last guy every night from Sunday to Thursday. He said that's the slot that they give someone they think might happen. He said you develop your act for the staff and for people who wander in. He said you learn to be yourself. He said that's when things open up. He said you learn to channel what you care about. He said you find your voice and that's what it was.
Howard said that's like radio. Jon said he thinks Howard is doing his best. He said this is him. He said he thinks Howard is a lovely man. Howard said he feels the same way about Jon. He said should end this. Jon said now the Goo Goo Dolls come out and they dance. Howard said he used to feel he had to be outrageous to get everyone to listen to him. He said he thought he had to be fucking crazy. Jon said if he did that in this environment he would have burned out faster. He said Howard was able to keep that going. He said he thinks the turning point for Howard was the movie and the book. He said he let everyone into his life with that. Howard said for him it was like therapy.
Howard said he's really happy for Jon. Howard said he should come in more often. Jon said he doesn't do anything now. Howard asked if he'll go back to the farm and become reclusive again. Jon said yes. Howard said it's like people are chasing him away with a stick. He said everything he hates about fame and success has hit him in the past 2 days.
Howard said Jon was roommates with Anthony Weiner. Jon said he wasn't. Jon said people he knew were the ones who knew Anthony. He said he would go down to Delaware and stay at a beach house and Anthony was friends of friends. He said he never lived with him.
Howard asked if he has more promotion to do. Jon said he does. He said he has to get it out there. Howard said this Night of Too Many Stars is on Saturday on HBO. Howard said he should get together with Dave Chappelle who has a farm. Jon said that he loves hanging out with that guy. He said they don't see each other a lot but when they do it's a great hang. Howard gave Jon some more plugs and wrapped up with Jon. You can find out more about the Too Many Stars thing at TooManyStarsHBO.com. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he loves Jon Stewart. He said he has to thank him for coming in. He said he felt for him on the Today show. He said that he really had to deal with a lot. Howard said he's going to be doing a Thursday show and people are praising him for that.
Howard said he has a song parody about Robin and this is something impressive. Howard played one from Bobby the Chorizo guy about Robin tossing his salad. Howard said he did that in one take. Howard let that one play for a while. Howard said Robin should date him. Robin said she doesn't know who he is so that's probably not going to happen.
Howard said they should get into some news. Robin started off with a story about a rare Leonardo da Vinci painting that may sell for $100 million. Robin said she's not sure why it's called rare because all of his work is rare. Howard said he doesn't get that whole world. Howard said he was at an art auction and he won a few that he was bidding on. Howard said his buddy told him what to bid on. Howard said he doesn't know if something is worth anything.
Howard took a call from fake President Obama. Fake Obama was calling Howard a lefty fuck and works the fewest hours and wants to be praised for that. He also said he thinks he's lazy and that's coming from a half black man. Howard said he can't believe he's belittling him and being racist.
Robin read a story about a home for sale that was formerly owned by a Mafia boss. Robin read about the guy who owned it and said there was a slaughter room in the basement. Howard said it is a good price but he doesn't want to live there. Robin said it has great views of New York from Fort Lee, New Jersey. Howard said it sounds pretty nasty. Robin said they're not sure what they were slaughtering down there.
Howard said he did promise to read the email about Captain Janks. Howard read through some of it and he got some ''no'' votes about being in the Wack Pack. Howard said he got some yes votes too. Howard said people had their arguments for both sides. Howard said someone said that Ronnie should be in the Wack Pack but not Janks. Howard went back and forth with the yes and no votes. Howard said someone said you can't remove people from the Wack Pack and you need Wendy to be the judge.
Howard had Wendy the Slow Adult on the phone and asked her for a ruling. He had Janks on the line too. Howard asked Wendy if he is a Wack Packer. Wendy said he does some cool stuff and he should give him a chance. Howard said he is funny making calls but he's more of a superfan. Howard said Wendy is funny because she's Wendy. Wendy said he should give him a chance. Howard asked if Robin is a Wack Packer. Wendy said yes. Howard said he was trying to see if she's in the right mind. Janks asked Wendy if he's a Wack Packer. Wendy said yes. Howard asked if a car is a Wack Packer. Wendy said no. Howard asked if Fred is a Wack Packer. Wendy said yes. Howard asked if Jimmy Kimmel is. Wendy said yes to that but not Bobo. Howard said that's what he thought. Howard asked if Kim Jong Un is. She said yes. No for George Clooney. Abe Lincoln got a yes. Howard asked about a bunch of people and Wendy was giving a lot of yes answers. Howard said she's not making a lot of sense there. Howard asked if dog shit is a Wack Packer. Wendy said yes. She said that Ronnie should be. Howard said he absolutely is. Howard said Ronnie just happens to drive him.
Howard said he is running out of time and he doesn't have a ruling. Howard read more email for Janks. Howard said the show has changed and Janks doesn't get that he's paying him a compliment. Howard said he's not in the Wack Pack. Howard said someone pointed out that he has no abnormality that makes him funny so he can't be a Wack Packer. Howard said someone said if they can blend into society they're not a Wack Packer.
Janks asked if Jimmy Kimmel has a vote in this. Howard said he'd go with that. Howard said Jimmy must have said that Janks is in it. Janks said he'll go with whatever Jimmy says. Howard said he knows what Janks is doing. Howard said he's not sure how to end this.
Wendy said she wants to meet Jimble Kimble next time he's on the show. Howard said he has to make that happen. He asked if she'll shit her pants that day. Wendy said yes. She said she'd bang him too. Howard asked if she'll bang him with shit hanging on her asshole. Wendy said yes. Howard asked her a bunch of crazy questions that she said yes to. Robin said this is a Wack Packer.
Howard said Wendy is a Wack Packer and he's not sure if Janks is. Howard let them both go after that. Howard said Jimmy has to get in there tomorrow to meet Wendy.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she changed her whole schedule for tomorrow. Mariann said she'll be planted there for him. Howard hung up on her and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about Apple reportedly releasing 3 new iPhones next year. Robin said that they say they'll have a 6.5 inch iPhone and one that's just under 6 and one that may have an edge to edge LCD screen. Howard said he gets confused by the two iPad and phone because the iPad has a button and the phone doesn't.
Howard took a call from a guy and said he thinks this guy is part of the Bubba army and he gets on just to mention Bubba's name. Howard said Bubba told him that this guy is one of his Goon Platoon that gets on to mention Bubba. Howard said their job is to get them to hire Bubba there. The caller said that Howard turned him on to Bubba's show. Howard said that's fine but he doesn't do the hiring there. The caller said he was calling in for other things. Howard said if he owned the company he'd hire Bubba. He said he told Bubba that. Howard said he doesn't own the company. Howard said it should only happen to him. He said he works for ''the man.'' Howard asked what the benefits are being in the Goon Platoon. The caller, Mike, said he is addicted to Howard's show and he got to listening to Bubba's show and he got hooked on it. He said that he lives in Maine and Bubba is on down in Tampa. Howard said he figured he was getting paid by Bubba. Mike said not at all. He said all he gets is his ego stroked. Howard said he has to get out of there.
Mike asked if he's been watching Gotham. Howard said he has and he loves it. He said he loves the whole show. Howard wished Mike luck with the Goon Platoon. Howard let him go and did a live commercial read.
Howard said he went to the dentist yesterday and he loved it. Howard said the hygienist told him he hardly bleeds at all. Robin said it reminds her that they're animals. Howard said that she was examining him and he felt like a horse. Robin said she used to see her horse get that done and they'd file the teeth down. Howard said imagine how Gary feels. Howard said he is reminded that he's an animal when he smells parts of his body. He said he'll rub his finger on his taint and get a smell. He said he is an animal. Howard said you get smells even where you don't think you should. He said he feels at times he should be living on Jon Stewart's farm with the animals. He said he's with him on the animals and how they all have personalities.
Robin got back to her news and read about Taylor Swift's new album and how she has the top selling album in the U.S. Robin said she got there in 4 days. Howard said selling a million albums is big now but back in the day when people bought albums she would have sold 30 million. Robin said sure. Robin said it's a different day and age. Robin said this is the first album to sell over a million in a week since Adele did it in 2015. Howard asked if Gary has tried to get her on the show. Gary said he has and her people just say ''thanks.'' Gary said he's trying again today actually. Robin said Nicki Minaj is trying to break the internet by going topless for Paper Magazine. Howard said he'd like to see that. Howard said he thinks the only way they could break the internet is by Robin getting topless.
Robin read a story about Gwen Stefani and Howard said he thinks she'd be great in bed. Howard said she's a home run. Robin said just hooking up with her will do something for your career. Robin said Blake Shelton is People Magazine's sexiest man alive. Howard asked if he could be the sexiest man alive if he dated her. Robin said probably. Howard said even with 5 Gwens he couldn't be. Howard asked if Blake is that hot. Robin said he's not George Clooney hot. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Larry Caputo having trouble in his marriage. Robin said on Monday night's new episode of The Long Island Medium his wife revealed that her marriage is going through a rough patch. Robin said maybe that's because of Sal. Robin had some audio of Theresa talking about her marriage changing. Howard had Sal come in to talk about it. Sal said Larry isn't talking to him about it. He said they seem to be okay when they hang out. He said they have spats here and there. Sal said he's a little bit surprised about this. Howard asked what's not surprising about it. Sal said that he's talked to Larry about it and they're trying to work it out. He said that's all he knows. Sal said they are going to therapy and trying to work it out. Sal said he really doesn't know much. Howard said he's finally in on something and he knows nothing. Howard asked if they fight a lot. Sal said not at all. He said they get along. He said he's pretty surprised. Howard said she should contact Sigmund Freud and ask him what to do since she's a medium. Sal didn't get that at first. Howard asked if Larry will go after her money in the divorce. Sal said he doesn't think they'll get divorced. He said he thinks they're trying to work it out. Howard said he likes that Sal knows about Freud and his stuff. Sal said he just knows he has a beard and hat and he thinks you want to bang your mom. Howard said Sal knows nothing.
Sal said that Mark McGrath and Kelsey Grammer were on the Long Island Medium show. Howard didn't think that meant anything. Sal said the big lady from This is Us was on the show too. Howard let Sal go after that.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump being back in the U.S. today. Robin said that Trump thinks that Putin is telling the truth about not being involved with the election last year. Robin said he says he looked him in the eye and asked and he believes him over the U.S. Intelligence.
Robin read a story about North Korea responding to Trump's speech where he addressed them. Robin said they're saying he's a coward who deserves to die. Howard said they were ripping Trump there for insulting their dictator.
Robin said Jeff Sessions is speaking and saying it would be improper for the President to use the justice department to retaliate against opponents. Robin had some audio of Sessions talking about that and some other things.
Robin read a story about Roy Moore and how he's having a spiritual battle. Robin said that he has shown no sign of ending his campaign. Robin said he's being asked to step out of the senate run by republican senators. Howard said he gave his thoughts on that early this morning.
Robin read a story about a woman who says there are recent sexual harassment claims about a congressman. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about Harvey Weinstein being sued by an actress who claims he harassed her. Robin said she's named Jane Doe in the suit. Robin said that the suit alleges that she met with Harvey 2 years ago and she claims that he held her wrists and masturbated. She also claims that he raped her.
Robin read about John McCain asking about the new changes in the Army guidelines about people with mental illness and substance abuse problems getting in easier. Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult just enlisted.
Robin read a story about Jeff Sessions allegedly lying to Al Franken. Robin said that he claims he didn't lie. Howard said it's all very confusing. Robin had some audio of sessions denying that he has ever lied.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcoming their third child into the world. Howard said his wife told him that Kim has 100 million twitter followers. Howard said he doesn't believe it. He said it has to be fake news. Howard said that's bigger than the Bubba Army or the Goon squad or whatever.
Robin said yesterday on Ellen Kim may have given away the sex of their new child. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Robin said they don't have a name yet but she let it slip that it's a girl. Howard said according to a Twitter audit 45 percent of Kim's followers are fake. Howard said it's like 25 million or something. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how they're there live today. Howard said it's Thursday and this is his gift to America. Robin asked if they can go home now. Howard played a ''Don't get used to it'' clip.
Howard said they'll be interviewing Robin Quivers later in the show. He said they'll be playing her new album too.
Howard said today is Thursday and they have a different format today. He said he has no cameras in there but one day it will happen and they'll crow like they invented it. Howard said he said to Sirius when they got there and said he should make a TV deal as well. Howard said he was thinking globally. He said he as thinking that Sirius was trying to get into cars and some day they'd have 30 million subscribers and they'd have TV too. Howard said they looked at him like he was fucking crazy. Howard said 5 years into it he said they should do it again. Howard said he wanted to do everything with movies and TV. He said provide everything. Howard said why not and they looked at him like he's crazy. Howard said 10 years later everyone has their own TV show. He said High Pitch Erik has a show. Howard said now they have this deal to develop TV and radio. He said it's happening but he's hoping he's alive for it when it does happen.
Howard said today for this special live show they have some of the guys from the show in the studio. He said he has a giant table and they're going to attempt to get to all of the material in his computer. JD laughed. Howard asked what's so funny. Ronnie got mad at him for doing that. Howard said he saw Ronnie and he hooted. JD said it's funny to see him.
Howard said what they're listening to this morning is what they do in their Tuesday meeting. He said he has this material that he can't get to.
Howard said he has Brent in the studio and he used to be on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show but he had to leave for some reason. Howard said it sounds shady to him. Howard said he met Brent through Bubba and he wanted him to work there if he ever left Bubba. Howard said he worked at other places too. Brent said he worked for Marilou Henner for a little while when she did a radio show. He said she was just up there the other day. He said she said to say hi. Brent said they got her up to 11 stations when she was doing it. He said it's a tough market for that though.
Howard said he'd love to be there for the classes Brent gave her. Howard said he could have come up with stuff from the Bubba show for her show. Howard said maybe liquid ass or spraying people with shit. Howard asked what he can teach her? He said that he can show her how to throw shit into a fan.
Howard said Brent ended up working with them and that makes him very happy. Howard said he got Bubba's blessing first. He said that Bubba was fine with it. Howard said he seems to be on good term with him. Brent said he is. He said they just got to a point where they can't work together anymore. Howard said he's surprised he didn't work it out. Brent said it was a creative differences thing. Jason said he thought he was on the floor crying. Brent said that was in 2009. Howard asked what happened there. Brent said the way to trigger him to do that is to give him shots of Jack Daniels. He said that happened and he stayed off the air for a while. He said he did what Gary does with his own office. Sal asked if he went to sleep.
Howard asked what he did that was so bad. Brent said he got smashed and he let some of his real thoughts come out on the air. Ronnie said he guarantees there's more to that story. Howard said Brent got loaded and he called Bubba names and stuff. He said they should get him drunk right now. He said he'll fire him too. Ronnie said he said all of this on the air. Sal told him to turn up his Hearing-Aid
Howard said he knew this was going to happen. They're never going to get to anything. Howard said he'd love to hear what happened on the show in 2009. Brent said he can get it for him. He said it was on Sirius. Howard asked how Bubba's weight is now. Brent said he hasn't seen him in a couple of years. He said he was down to 300 after being 488. He said he was able to move around and he got down to about 250 there at Sirius. He said that was about the best he was. Howard said who knows where he is now. Brent said he went to his weight on the air. Howard said that's embarrassing.
Howard said it's a shame that happened on the air. Howard asked how long he was off the air. Brent said it was a few months. Robin said he was in Bubba Jail. Shuli said he loves the idea of Brent throwing a trash can at Bubba calling him a fat fuck. Brent said he threw it at someone else. Brent said that it's all about loyalty there so it was bad.
Howard asked if all of the guys were freezing him out. Brent said he was the number 2 guy at the company. He said Bubba only spoke to him on the air. Shuli said that Brent is the same way. He said people are dead to him if they bad mouth you. He said he got mad at Jon Leiberman and all he said was ''I side with Ronnie'' about something and Brent still doesn't like Jon to this day.
Howard asked if they can get Brent drunk one day on the air. Brent said as long as it's not Jack Daniels he'd do it. Gary asked how much he had. Brent said it was 5-7 shots. He said he lost track around that time. Howard said that must have been a good show. Sal said it was so good they hired him. Howard said he'd think that he had a gold mine there and kept him.
Howard said today the guys are going to force him to play stuff that he hasn't gotten to yet. Howard said he thinks they should do a whole show on Brent today. Jason said he's doing something so crazy this week. He said there's a potential serial killer in Tampa and Brent is going to go look for the guy down there. Brent said the guy has killed 4 guys so far. He said the last one was on Wednesday. He said the police are combing this one neighborhood. He said they were within ear shot of some of the shots and they didn't catch the guy.
Howard said this is fascinating. Howard said maybe take some Jack Daniels with him. Howard said they should call him Brent Hatley Mindhunter.
Gary said Brent was in his office talking about this and how he's going to interview the place. Gary said that he was thinking of making a citizen's arrest. He said he doesn't think about getting shot by the guy. Howard said he should bring some weapons. Brent said he will do that. Sal said he should bring a garbage can to throw. Brent said his family down there has weapons. Howard said they should have a promo of Brent strapping on guns. Shuli said he's going to end up getting mistaken for the serial killer.
Howard said that Brent will be down in Tampa next week hunting for a killer. Robin said he's just going to go talk to people down there. Brent said he's been in contact with some people down there. Howard said everyone is going to say they saw nothing. Howard said maybe he'll find out it's Bubba.
Gary asked what Brent is going to say when they ask where he's from. Brent said he'll say he's from SiriusXM. He said it's a big case and it's in the national news. Howard said if he cracks the case it would be great for the show. Howard said he has to give it to him and not Bubba. Robin asked if he keeps taping if he gets shot. Howard said he'll take his own shot at the guy.
Howard said they have to get to the rest of the panel. Howard said they have Brent and Fafa Fohi (Gary Dell'Abate) there. Gary said Brent is one of his favorite people there. Sal said that explains it. Gary said at least his best friend contacted him after he had a baby.
Howard said Jason Kaplan is there too. Jason said Gary is the only one with a cough button. Howard said he has to have that for phlegm. Gary said he hasn't had to use it yet. Robin said he has moved from the microphone to clear his throat. Gary said it depends on the size of the cough.
Howard said Jason is a controversial figure. He said he's thinking about the new law that Trump removed about the killing of elephants. He said he's not sure why. Robin said he's fat shaming. Howard said Jason has been there for years.
Howard said Jason is known for throwing people under the bus. He said he likes that. Jason said he has some rumors that he can tell him about today.
Howard said Robin is there too. He said he's never heard anything like her new album. He said it's her best work ever. Howard said they'll go through her history too. Howard said Robin was angry about not being able to sing. He said she gave it up for a while and then she started doing it again. Robin said there was a day that changed for her and she was recounting that with a friend last night.
Howard said Robin did a turn around and recorded tremendous amounts of music. Howard said they'll learn later on about how she took music lessons and this woman said there was nothing left to teach her. Robin said at least she didn't commit suicide. Howard said can you imagine that. Gary said she had a bunch of famous clients that she was able to teach. Howard said Robin must have known everything about singing. Howard said don't talk about it yet. Howard said at 10 today she's going to be in talking about all of that instead of doing news.
Howard said JD is also sitting in the studio. Ronnie laughed like JD. Howard asked if it bothers Ronnie. Ronnie said it does after he has a few drinks. Howard said he saw it in action today when he walked in the studio and JD hooted.
Ronnie said they went out to dinner recently and hung out. He said he was sitting there and JD just started laughing for no reason. JD said there's a lot of history and things involved with Ronnie and it all comes to his mind and makes him laugh. Howard asked if he's his best friend on the show. JD said Jon Hein probably is. Howard said Ronnie got in a car and drove JD to Philadelphia to get a ring. He asked if Jon goes above and beyond that. JD said it's not about that. He said it's about their personalities getting along. Howard asked if he tells Jon more about his personal stuff. JD said yeah. Ronnie said when JD gets yelled at on the air Jon will go back to console JD. JD said that's not true. He said he'll get an IM from Jon and that's how he contacts him.
Howard asked JD if he's in love with Jon Hein. JD said he's not in love. He said he cares about Jon. Howard asked if he loves him. JD said sure. Howard said he's in love. JD said he loves everyone there. Howard said he does not. He said he's in love with Jon Hein. JD was cracking up. Howard asked if he does love him. JD said he does. Howard said he's in love.
Jason said if Jon is in traffic on a Friday he'll call JD and he'll keep him company on the phone.
Howard asked JD if there were sharks around him and he had to save him or Jon Hein who would he save. JD said he's save Howard. Howard said it's good to see his head is still screwed on straight. Robin said he's just saying that because he's on the air.
Shuli said JD is in love with Jon because they love sports. He said Howard is going overboard. He said JD is afraid of Jon Hein too. He said he has flat out refused to comment on things because he loves Jon so much. Jason said he didn't want to give Howard the first ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' because he loves Jon so much. JD said it was one guy who said it and he did pull the clip. Jason said it became a thing after that.
Howard said he also has The Lump (Mike Trainor) sitting in the studio. Howard said he became known to the audience when Jeff the Drunk called in. He said he lives on the back of Jeff's neck. Howard said the audience loved him and he took off. Howard said he's kept his identity a secret. Howard said Jeff thought he was Eric Andre playing the part of The Lump. Howard said that's not the case. Howard had Shuli do his Jeff the Drunk impression talking to The Lump and saying it's Eric Andre.
Howard said The Lump sits back there and wants some material put on the air so he's in studio today too. The Lump said when Jeff fell down the escalator he was scraped off and he's living the live of a 36 year old man now.
Howard said The Lump has performed on TV and he has his own career going. Howard said he seems to be enjoying himself there. Howard said he was in comedy and now he's sitting next to Ronnie the Limo Driver. Ronnie said he loves The Lump because he's a piece of shit on Jeff's ass.
Howard said The Lump is also Bobo's Toupee sometimes. Ronnie said he doesn't like Jeff or Bobo. Howard asked why he doesn't like Bobo. Ronnie said he's so stupid. He asked what's wrong with that guy. Ronnie said the guy didn't drive in New York city. Howard said they should hang out with him and see what he has to say. Shuli said Ronnie is scared because Bobo is a pro and he won't score well. He said he knows he's an angry driver. Howard said it would be funny if they did it. Howard said he would sit in the car with Bobo. Ronnie said if Howard does it, he'll do it. He got applause from the guys for that. Ronnie said he's not doing it alone with Bobo. Howard said he'll do it.
Howard said it's not going to be a big deal. He said he has to parallel park and things like that. Ronnie said he can't even find a spot to do that. Howard asked if anything will change in his life with this. Ronnie said no. Howard said his head almost went through the windshield the other day. He said Ronnie stopped so hard. Ronnie said it's the car and the sensors that made it do that. Ronnie said it's a self driving electric car.
Howard said Ronnie is also sitting in the studio and when is his film coming out. Ronnie said he has no idea. He said Sandler said he was going to come in there to promote it. Howard said now he's on a last name only with Sandler. Ronnie said Rock might do it too. Ronnie said he's been driving Howard for 32 years now. Howard said they really have to do the Bobo thing. Shuli said he wants to sit in between them in the front. Howard congratulated Ronnie on the 32 years. Howard said he really does like Ronnie a lot. He said he's actually scared of him. Howard said he's a very loyal and good guy. He said he's a little dopey but he's a good guy. He just wishes he could be more professional in the halls there. Ronnie said they never take any of that to the car. He said they leave it all up there.
Howard said Ronnie is still as pervy today as he was when he met him. Howard said he used to have Playboy stuff on his car. He said he has evolved into this guy he is now though. He said he's in full bloom. Robin said that he's into devolution and not evolution. Ronnie said he's seen Robin come a long way in 32 years too.
Howard said when he and Fred were in Hartford they'd hang out and it's remarkable when they look back. Howard said they started in 1979. Howard said he has to do the math to figure that out. Howard figured Fred has been with him the longest. Howard asked Fred if he would have imagined that they'd be sitting there with these guys in New York. Fred did his Ronnie impression for a few. Fred said it really amazes him to this day that they're still doing it. He said he figured it would be a few years at the most. He said that they've been doing this 38 years. Howard said they won't talk to Fred the rest of the show.
Brent said that Fred is the most underrated guy in radio. He said he doesn't get his due. Howard said he hates when Fred gets the credit. Brent said Howard gets his due but not Fred. Howard asked Brent if anyone brings up Fred out there. Brent said no but you have to be into the show to know Fred and what he does. He said he doesn't get his due like he should. Howard asked Fred to crow a little there. Fred said he's part of the Howard Stern program and that's as far as it goes. Howard said he agrees with Brent. He said he'll applaud Fred now. The guys applauded and Sal booed him. Fred said ''Thank you hagi.'' Howard said he's glad that Fred is in with him. He said Brent is right.
Howard said they have Gary, Jason, JD, The Lump, Ronnie and then Sal Governale. Howard said that's enough of that and lets move on. Howard asked Sal if he has spoken to Richard since he had his kid. Sal said he has. He said he got some pictures of him and the baby. Howard did his impression of Richard talking about his kid. Howard said Richard didn't send him pictures right away. Sal said that was JD's fault. He said JD was supposed to send them to everyone. Howard said he's so shocked that he didn't get them right away. Sal said he was worried about it that morning. Howard asked Fred, as Richard, what his thought process was. Fred did his impression of Richard sending pictures to everyone but Sal.
Howard said he heard that Steve Nowicki and Sal found out at the same time. Howard said Steve is the lowest there. Sal said he makes Ronnie look like Mother Theresa there.
Howard said also sitting in today is Shuli. Howard said he found him pushing people around in an airport. Howard said he had to find someone on the cheap to work there and he found Shuli. Howard said he's been a member of the team ever since. Howard said the guys are all sitting around a table that's the shape of a horse shoe. Howard said that they're going to take a break and ask each guy to help him clean out the computer. Howard said they'll go through a lot of stuff. They went to break after that.
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Howard said Robin said Benjy isn't there. Howard said the story is that Jason sent out an email about it and asked what bits they'd present to Howard. Jason said he sent that out in the email and in the meeting. He said Benjy never responded. He said he kind of responded at one point but it had nothing to do with that they're trying to do there. Howard said he didn't read what they're doing. Gary said he thinks he did read it and he wanted to do his own thing. Howard said he's out there moping around now because he's not part of this. Howard said he had to do some work and he didn't do it so now he's not in there. Jason said it's work they have to do there so that's why he didn't do it. He said he would have had to have stayed an extra hour or so.
Howard said he's sure Benjy is out there saying he did his assignment. He said there's no defense. Howard said Benjy didn't want to do the extra work. Jason said Benjy wants to be on the air but he won't do that extra work. He said he's just doing his own thing. Howard said Benjy does things to the beat of his blotchy drum.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for coming in today. He was stumbling with what he wanted to say so the guys all yelled at him. The caller said the interview with Jon Stewart was great yesterday. He said that it was so deep with his father and all of that. Howard cut him off and said that was one of his favorite conversations he's had on the air. Howard said Jon is so great that he was his first guest on his MTV show. Howard said he thought Jon was very thoughtful talking about all of that stuff with Louis C.K. and his father and all of that. Howard said they were talking about Louie and Jon is such a thoughtful guy. He said he went on to talk about his father too and that had to be painful. Howard said they talked about a bunch of things. He said Jon was something else.
Jason said it was cool because Jon was processing things in real time on the show. He said he didn't know the answers when he was talking. Gary said Jon said he felt like a weight was lifted off him. He said he wasn't prepared to talk about what they talked about.
Howard took a call from fake Simon Cowell who was thanking him for working on a Thursday. Howard said he felt he owed it to the audience to come in and get this material out there. Simon asked if Beth is at home and possibly ovulating. Howard said he can't imagine what that was like for his friend. He said the thought of coming home and finding that out is painful to him. Howard said he's just a fucking shlub who judges talent. Howard said he's not going to raise his baby. Simon asked if he's going to be stuck in the studio for the next couple of hours. Howard said yes but he hesitates to tell him that. Howard let Simon go a short time later.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk wants to say one thing. He's upset that The Lump is on the panel. Howard had Jeff on the phone and Jeff said The Lump can officially fuck off. He told Ronnie to fuck off too. Ronnie told him to go fuck himself. Howard said he was about to get the highest radio honor award and then that happened.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to let them know he appreciates what they do every morning. He said he was in the military and he got injured. He said his wife had a baby. Howard asked if she knew Simon Cowell. He said she does have a bit of an English accent. The caller said he planned on doing something. Howard said he thought this was going to be a short story. He said he hates to play him of but he has to get to this material. Howard asked him to shorten the story. The caller said he wanted to hurt himself and he heard the show where Erik had to smell Will's ass and it made things so much better. Howard thanked him for the story. Howard said ass smelling turned his life around. Howard said one smelly ass saved a life. Howard thanked him for his service and let him go.
Benjy came in and said that he misunderstood the note. Howard said he didn't prepare. Benjy said he thought he did but he misunderstood. Howard said Benjy had an idea to do something. He had Jason explain it. Jason said that he found some test that makes you fall in love with someone. Benjy said that he suggested that he do it with Howard. Jason said he wanted to do it close to him to try and make him fall in love with him.
Howard asked Benjy how he misunderstands this note from Jason. He said it was pretty simple. Howard asked if he spent one second reading it. Benjy said the note he sent about the test is... Howard cut him off and asked how he didn't get it. Benjy said this was a separate idea he had. Howard asked how everyone got it but Benjy missed it. Benjy said if Howard looked at the note he'd get why he made a mistake.
Gary said he's calling bullshit about this. He said he's seen everyone around there working on this bit. Howard said he's been talking about it for days on the air too. Benjy said he thought they were presenting bits they did recently. He said he misunderstood. Howard said maybe drop in on a writer's meeting once in awhile. Robin said she didn't see the memo and even she understood it.
Howard said they tried to include Benjy but he blew it. Gary said now he thinks they don't love him. Howard said he commands the panel to boo Benjy. All of the guys booed him. Howard kicked him out.
The Lump said that he'll ask Benjy to come to the writer's meeting and he won't come. Gary said they'll discuss something and Benjy will come to him after the meeting that he wasn't at and bring it up again. Jason said Benjy is wanted at the meeting but he doesn't show up. Gary said he'd love to see him at the 6:20 meeting but he won't come. Robin said it's so much fun to have everyone in there and then Benjy's not there. Howard said he told Robin to ask him about that on the air.
Howard said they have everyone in the studio to do this thing today. He said it's like the United Nations of assholes in there. Howard said he has to take a break and finally get to it. They went to break a short time later.
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After the break Howard came back with a Thursday show promo. Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said this is like Christmas and like the lottery without Benjy in the studio. She said it's so great. Howard hung up on her a short time later.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Mariann is loud on the radio but she's really loud when you're on hold. Howard said he's not sure how she doesn't blow out her voice. Howard said she really is loud.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he's really annoyed by Benjy. He asked how he doesn't attend the writer's meetings and the morning meeting. He said maybe he'd want to write something. Howard said call him and discuss it with Benjy. Ralph said that Benjy also doesn't think he has to come in on Fridays. Gary said something and Ralph cut him off saying that he doesn't know anything about him. Gary said that Ralph has never been in an office environment. Ralph said you don't have to be in there to know what the right thing is. Robin said there were a lot of complaints about Ralph but never about sexual harassment.
Howard said it is sort of mind blowing that Ralph is going off on Benjy about his work ethic. Brent said that Ralph is right about firing (starting) the show and how everyone has to be there. Howard said he'd pay dearly to find out what he told Marilou Henner about doing a show. Brent said you should be there an hour early for the show. He said you can't show up when the show starts.
Howard said he has to get to the computer stuff today. He said Shuli said it's never going to happen. Howard said he could do that and never get to it because this is so much fun.
Howard said the guest says bullshit in this clip. Brent said that's it. Sal said Benjy had the right idea. Howard said maybe he did. Howard said he has the Tampa serial killer on the phone. Howard took the call and Steve Nowicki was playing the part of the killer going off on Brent.
Howard played this first clip that Brent pulled for him. The guest on the show said ''bullshit'' and changed that to ''bad stuff.'' Howard said alright, lets go to Gary. Howard said he's not commenting on that. He said he doesn't want to know more about that.
Howard asked Brent what else he has. The guys said that's all that clip was. It was just a guy saying bullshit on the news.
Howard asked what he has. Brent said he has Floyd Mayweather talking about Trump saying ''Grab 'em by the pussy.'' Howard played that clip and Mayweather was talking about how that's just how real men speak. Howard said he thinks Mayweather has been accused of stuff. He was defending Trump in that clip. Howard said maybe too many blows to the head with that guy. Brent said he's one of he greatest boxers of all time and he hits women. Robin said he does have to practice.
Howard asked Gary what he has. Gary said he has a page called the porn page. He said this is about the porn industry. He said this girl is a cam girl and she starts yelling at her audience and she throws in an anti-Semitic slur. Howard played the clip and the girl was talking about how she hates life and she hates not being worth $5. She said they're so fucking Jew that they can't even pay $5. She said they all suck and she hates men.
Howard asked how many guys were in there watching her. Gary said he's not sure. Howard said that's the worst webcam girl ever. Howard said there's nothing about her that would make him want to give her money.
Howard said that Mel Gibson says that's his favorite webcam girl. Howard said she's no longer a webcam girl. He said she works at Breitbart.
Howard asked Gary what else he has. Gary said there's a clip where they did a show about masturbation addiction on The Dark Net. Howard played the clip and a guy talked about masturbating 14 times a day. Howard said he's glad he didn't have YouPorn when he was a kid. He said he would have done it 17 times a day. Shuli asked if he would have sat down for an interview about it. Howard said no way.
Howard played more of this guy talking about his masturbation and having scars on his penis from rubbing it so much. Howard said he thinks Sal has that too. Sal said he has two scars. Howard said it would be great if he went to a job interview and the guy recognized him.
Gary said that there's another clip from the same show. He said this kid found out about porn in an odd way. Howard played the clip and the kid said he's 17 and he's suffered from addiction for half his life. The kid said he has been addicted since 9. He said he was looking for Dick's Sporting Goods and he put in ''dicks'' and found porn. He said he started wanking and watching porn and finding more and more stuff. He said it escalated. Howard said what a fucking loser. He was looking for Dick's.
Gary had another clip from the show where this guy talked about not being able to get an erection now. Howard said he doesn't believe anyone is jerking off 17 times a day. Except for Ronnie. Sal said he did it 4 times in one day once. He said he threw his back out though. He said he was doing it in the pizza place. Sal said he was 15 at the time. He said those were the good ol' days.
Howard played the clip of this kid talking about not being able to get it up anymore. He said his penis turned into a turtle going into its shell. Ronnie cracked up at that. Ronnie said you can hear the smile on the guy's face while he's talking about it.
Gary said this kid went to reboot camp. He said in the clip they tell you how many times he's gone. Howard played the clip and this kid was talking about going to reboot camp for the 45th time. He said he thinks this is his last time. Robin said he's only 17. The announcer said he was on day 5 of his 46th reboot after that. Howard asked how that's possible. Howard said he's sworn off masturbation that many times but he always goes back. Howard said he got a 10 minute sober tip at reboot camp. Howard said imagine the yearbook photo of that reboot camp. Sal said he's looking at it right now.
Howard played the first clip and the girl said ''I cannot tell a lie.'' Ronnie didn't know the quote. It was clear but Robin said he just doesn't know famous quotes. Ronnie said he's just hearing a girl swallowing a guy's cock. Sal knew what she said. Everyone heard it but Ronnie. Howard played the clip again and Ronnie finally heard it. Robin asked who said that. Ronnie knew it was George Washington.
Howard played another clip of the girl saying something that wasn't so easy to understand. Ronnie passed it on to Sal. Howard played it again. The girl's mouth was full so it was hard to hear. Brent got it and said Teddy Roosevelt said it. It was ''Speak softly and carry a big stick.'' Brent knew it because he knew the clip already. Howard played it again and Ronnie asked why he didn't play that one first. Howard said it's the same clip. Ronnie said he's tricking him. Howard said he just told him what she said and he heard it.
Howard played a clip and the girl said something that Robin got right away. Howard played it again and the rest of the guys were getting it. Ronnie said he hears mumbling. Ronnie asked if she said ''free speech.'' Howard said that's not it. Howard played it one more time but Ronnie was demanding that Shuli tell him what she said. Shuli claimed he knew it. Howard said he wants Ronnie to hear it one more time. Ronnie didn't get it. It was ''When it rains it pours.'' Ronnie finally heard it.
Gary told Howard to try one that's easy and try number 10. He said that's something he might know. Howard played the clip and the girl said a few words and Robin knew it right away. Robin said she knew it would be something that Ronnie was familiar with. Howard played it again for Ronnie. Fred said he'll never get that. Ronnie didn't hear it. Howard played it again for him. Ronnie still didn't get it. Howard asked JD if he knows. JD knew it from hearing it already. Ronnie asked who doesn't know. Shuli didn't know. Howard played it for Sal and Shuli and they didn't get it either. Ronnie asked what's the matter with you? He said they yell at him but they don't know the answer. Howard said Shuli didn't know it. The Lump said it does sound like it's a big cock in all fairness.
Howard asked if Shuli knows. Shuli heard ''problem'' but he didn't know it was ''Houston we have a problem.'' Howard said that was the game. Ronnie said it's not a good game. He said they knew the answers. He said they made the games up. Sal said he knew this game but it was done a long time ago. He still didn't get it. He said he didn't know the last one.
Howard said that game has been in the computer for 6 years. He said they didn't think it was a bad game but they just never got to it. The Lump said that girl went through law school since then.
Howard said that was the famous cock game. Gary said he has one more. Gary said he'll read a quote and you have to guess if it's Charles Manson or Pat Robertson. They mentioned that Charles Manson is in the hospital right now. Howard said that guy is 83 and he's still alive.
Howard said Gary is hogging the show today. He said The Lump isn't getting any air time. The Lump said he's doing fine.
Gary read a quote about everything being god. Howard said he thinks that one is Charles Manson. Robin agreed and Brent said it's Pat. Howard had the clips to play along with them. It was Charles Manson.
Gary read another quote about A going first, B second... Howard said that has to be Pat Robertson. Howard was right. He had a clip to play. Howard said he's kind of digging this game but not really.
Gary had another quote about mac and cheese maybe being a black thing. Howard said he's going with Pat Robertson again. Robin said Charles Manson. It turned out to be Pat Robertson. Howard said Pat Robertson is more fucked up than Charles Manson. Howard played the clip of Robertson asking if this mac and cheese thing is a black thing.
Howard did his Pat Robertson impression talking about the mac and cheese thing. He also said he was going to put a cock in his mouth and play a game. Howard said he thinks Charles Manson made more sense than Pat Robertson has ever made.
Brent asked how much money that woman who sits next to Pat could make. Howard said she was lobotomized long ago. Howard did more of his impression of Pat Robertson rambling on about nonsense. He had him saying Rice-A-Roni is gay oatmeal. Howard asked who thinks mac and cheese is a black thing. Howard said that guy gets money tax free too.
Gary had one more quote. He read one about ''You can become a Muslim and beat her.'' Howard said that's got to be Pat. Howard was right. He played the clip of Pat saying that. Howard did more of his impression of Pat rambling and not making sense. He had him talking more about Rice-A-Roni being a San Francisco treat and how that's gay code. Ronnie said he was just thinking that. Robin said Ronnie is Wack Pack. Howard, as Pat, asked Ronnie what his name is. Ronnie stopped communicating. He wasn't answering him. Ronnie eventually did and said it's the San Francisco treat. Howard said he wants him to spread the word for him. He said he's his core audience. Ronnie was laughing so hard he was crying according to Jason. Howard said watch this guy donate to Pat Robertson.
Howard said no wonder JD laughs at Ronnie. JD said he makes fun of him for laughing and now he's out of control laughing. Ronnie said it's just so funny. Howard, as Pat, said he's a smart young man. He said that KFC is finger licking good so who licks their fingers. He said that's a gay thing too. Howard had Pat talking about that and The Lump said that it's also a white thing and these guys know. Howard talked to Pat more about this stuff with Ronnie. Ronnie said he hears him.
Howard said they have an esteemed panel in there. Howard said they don't usually do a show on Thursday but this is his gift to America. Howard said the guys are all in the studio sitting around a table. He said they're getting to stuff they haven't gotten to in years. Howard said they'll get to Jason and the other guys after a break. Howard said maybe he can do more Pat Robertson for Ronnie too.
Sal asked Ronnie what the treat is in the San Francisco treat. Ronnie said it's cock. Howard did more of his Pat Robertson voice and rambled on like Pat with his homophobic stuff. He talked more about the San Francisco treat. He asked what they're hungry for when they say they're hungry for a Snickers. ''Pat'' said that's cum. Robin asked if he's going to ride with Ronnie today. Howard said he has a good price so he has no choice.
Howard said he has to take a break and get back to more after that. Howard said he has to get to Robin's music and more. Howard said they weren't supposed to do a show today. He said they're trying something different. Howard said he's doing Pat Robertson and Ronnie started following him. He said that was the best moment ever. Gary said it was the best Eureka moment ever. Jason said ''mind expanded.''
Howard said he has to get to Robin's music too. He said he hasn't laughed so hard as he did last night listening to her music. Howard did more of his Pat voice talking to Ronnie about M&Ms being a gay thing because it melts in your mouth. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard went through the guys who are in the studio again. Howard said Ronnie just had a religious awakening. Howard said the concept was to clean out the computer. He said Brent had a rocky start. Brent apologized and said he should know better. Howard said he sees why Bubba let him go.
Howard asked Gary who he should go to next. Gary said Jason has some stuff and JD pulled his personal favorite. He said The Lump has some stuff too. He said he has some health clips. He said that he feels Jeff the Drunk is unhealthy so he's like a health expert. Howard wanted to hear what he has. The Lump said there's a clip of a guy being kicked in the balls while he cums. He said it's from efucked.com. Howard said he wants to hear that. Howard played the clip and this guy is cumming and someone is kicking him in the balls while it's happening. Howard and the guys were all laughing. Howard asked if it's a woman. The Lump said he thinks it is. Howard asked how a guy handles that. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he'd never try that. All of the guys said they could never do that. Howard said that guy is ruining something great like cumming with that.
Howard asked what else The Lump has. The Lump said that there's a snot fetish porn clip. He said this woman feeds her boogers to slaves. Howard said look at Ronnie's face. Howard asked if he's not into that. Ronnie said no. Howard played the clip and the woman blew her nose into a guy's mouth. Howard said that's fucked up.
Howard asked The Lump what this next one is. The Lump said this is a Jeff the Drunk coughing clip. Howard played that and asked how he never played that one. Howard said these are his favorites. Jeff was coughing for a good 30 seconds or so. Howard said he thinks he's fascinated by this because he's such a controlled person. Howard said he is so responsible in a way. Robin said the result of something matters to him. Howard said he'd stop smoking weed if he had a cough like that. Howard said Jeff continues to ignore it. He said it's fascinating. Howard said he just keeps doing it.
Howard said his mother was an inhalation specialist in a hospital. He said that he'd rather kill himself than go through that. Howard said it's the most disgusting thing. He said Jeff keeps doing it.
Shuli said he goes through that coughing and then he goes ''Good morning'' after it. He said it's like nothing just happened. The Lump said there's a theory that coughing gets you more stoned. Howard said his lungs sound like a swamp. Robin said now they know that Jeff can get snotted in by some girl.
Howard asked Sal if he smokes weed. Sal said he's not into that. Howard asked if Sal smokes weed. Sal said he can't handle it. He said he gets paranoid. Howard said he's too smart for it.
Howard asked Gary what else there is. Gary said Sal does this thing where he looks at ads on CraigsList. Sal said he looks at the ads to find the creeps on there. Howard asked if he does it for himself. Sal said they're creepy ads he finds. He said they had Wood Yi read a few. He said this is one where a guy wants to get together and wrestle with a guy. Howard played the clip of Wood Yi reading the ad where this guy was looking for a suck and fuck submission.
Howard said he heard that the last time Sal smoked weed he was yelling about blowing A-Rod at a Yankee game. Sal said he did. Brent said they were walking to the stadium and he was talking about blowing A-Rod and all kinds of weird shit. Sal said he has no idea why that came out. He said he has no idea where that came from but he was being silly. He said he wanted to be A-Rod's jock strap.
Howard said he has a clip there to play. Howard said he might as well play it. Howard played the clop and Sal was talking about wanting A-Rod in his mouth and wanting to rim job Jeter and things like that. Howard just gave him a ''Wow.'' He asked what he was doing. Sal said he can't smoke weed. Brent said two old women walked by and looked at them like ''What the hell?'' Howard said he's gay. Sal said he's not. Howard said he thinks if you listen closely you can hear little kids crying. Sal said he's not good with weed.
Howard asked who they have to get to next. Howard wanted to hear JD. JD said he has a clip of this high school hockey player talking about ''sticking to the game plan'' and saying ''everything like that'' over and over while being interviewed.
Howard said that they never did play that. Howard said it's funny that JD would be attracted to a guy who can't speak English very well. Howard said JD is now going to get kicked right in the mouth by the guys.
Howard asked JD what else he has. JD said Maxine Waters was questioning Steve Mnuchin about something and she wasn't happy with his answer. Howard cut him off and said they should move on. Gary said this clip is funny. JD said Maxine wasn't happy and she kept yelling that she was reclaiming her time. Howard said he's heard that.
JD said he has others. Howard said he heard that number 10 is good. JD said this was from the 80s and it was on WorldStarHipHop. Howard said this was a city councilman and the reporter asked if he had paid this bill that was unpaid. The councilman went nuts on the reporter. The reporter kept asking the guy and the guy said one day he's going to kick his ass. The councilman kept telling him that he gave him a god damn answer. He said one of these days he's going to kick his fucking ass. He told him to get out of his god damn face. The reporter said thank you and the guy said he'll wrap that camera right around his head.
Howard said Ronnie really liked that one. Ronnie was cracking up the whole time. Ronnie said that guy was great. He said he'd vote for that guy. Howard asked what happened to the guy. JD said he doesn't know. JD said he's not sure of the whole history. He said it was from back in 1984. Howard said they should have played that. Howard said JD has been itching to play that for a few years. JD said it's been a few months at least.
Gary said Jason was complaining that they've only played one ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' lately. Howard said that Jason is one of the creators of that. Jason said that Jon Hein gets all of this fake energy going for this other show he does. He said that's where this came from. Howard said he thought that Jon was low key and just as he's about to leave work he's goofing on his energy level. Jason said that's it. Howard said Jon would get crazy when Jason did it. Jason said Nik started it but he kept it going and it upsets him. He said he can't do it every day now but he does it once in a while. Gary said one day he's going to catch him on a bad day.
Howard said that the audience picked up on it and it went crazy. Jason said it's still on football, basketball and more. He said that he talked to Jon about it a couple of months ago and he thinks he's fully embraced it. Gary said Jon has learned to live with it. Howard said Jason lives to piss Jon off. Jason said Jon is so buttoned up and he's not the real guy you see. He said that can get him so angry and off his game. Howard said there's a mad energy waiting to come out and scream. Jason said there's no doubt in his mind that he'd be the one to crack in the office and go off on someone. He said he'd bet on him. Shuli said his money is on Brent after drinking some Jack Daniels.
Howard asked Brent if he could stop Jon Hein if he went crazy in the office. Brent said he thinks Jon is very big but yes he could handle him. Shuli said they know the shape Jon is in and he can't go more than 15 seconds going crazy. Gary asked if you can go 15 seconds before he breaks your neck. Shuli said yes. He said he can take Jon down.
Sal said that's Jon's wife defending him over there. Sal did his impression of Gary asking Shuli a question. He had the guys cracking up. Gary said Sal is just upset that his boyfriend won't call him anymore.
Shuli said Jon isn't as big a threat as people think he is. Sal was still doing his Gary defending Jon impression. Gary said just because Jon eats fast food doesn't mean he can't take them all down. Everyone let out a ''Ooo'' when they heard that. Sal was still doing his impression of Gary. Gary was trying to explain himself but Sal was goofing on him saying that Jon face fucks him and stuff like that.
Howard said poor Benjy is missing out on all of this. Howard asked Jason about the ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips he has. Jason said his favorite is one from a Batman video game where they have a nice clear one from Harley Quinn. Howard said the game is low energy so she gives them a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard played the clip from the game where Harley says it. Howard said Jason came in his pants when he heard that. Jason said it's so cool. Howard asked if she'll ever yell out ''Sixty Nine!'' in honor of Ronnie. Jason said that it's a regular thing with Harley in the comic books.
Jason said he had a bunch more ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips to play. Howard went through a few where announcers were saying it. Jason said someone got it out at a tennis match too. Howard played that one too. He had some golf clips to play. Jason went through a few with Howard.
Jason said here are some people at TMZ who like the show but this one is a caller who got in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard played that next. The caller said it and then a few people on the show said it too. Jason said Michael Rapaport said it on the show ''White Famous'' too. Howard played the clip of Rapaport saying ''You want me to hit you with the fuckin' Hein?'' Howard said he should watch that show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's excited to hear him in on Thursday. Howard thanked him and took a call from Ralph who said that Jon is going to snap some day and they had better all watch out. Jason said Jon almost snapped at Ralph one day. He said that's as close as he's come to snapping. Gary said he was listening to the clip the other day and Ralph accused Jon of not working hard. He said that Jon's veins on his head blew up and he said ''Fuck you!'' Ralph said Jon is so in control and this is so great. He said that he loves it the most because this is one area Jon can't control himself. He hates it so much and he loses control over it. They played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's in Beaverville, Ronnie's favorite town. He said they should do this once a week at least. He said it's great. He said he's glad Benjy's not there. He said he'd bring the whole thing down. Howard said this is a big hit. He said this is the guys going through the computer and they may have to do it on a regular show day. Howard said he wants to interview Robin so he has to break up the party. Robin said they still have time. Howard said Robin is trying to avoid her interview. Howard said the guys can stay in there for the interview. Howard said Robin wants him to keep talking to the guys right through Thanksgiving.
Ronnie said he's staying for this shit. He said it's his turn to take out his fucking knife. Howard said he didn't get to any Ronnie stuff. Ronnie said he has a few things from porn. He said he has a clip from a porn where a guy is talking really loud to a woman during sex. Howard played the clip and the guy was really loud talking about how good it felt. Howard said that wasn't so great.
Ronnie said the next clip is a white chick who is insanely turned on by two black guys fucking her. Howard played the clip and asked if they're really black. Ronnie said they're big, black, veiny cocks. Howard played more of the clip and the woman was going crazy making primal grunting noises and screams.
Howard asked what else he has. Ronnie said this is a sex tip for Cocktober. He said it's him talking about a cock ring made at the pharmacy. Shuli said he just spoiled the whole clip. He said he should just let him play it. Shuli did an impression of Ronnie spoiling the whole thing by getting into too much detail.
Howard played the sex tip where Ronnie said you can make your own cock ring. He said go to the pharmacy and go to the blood pressure machine and stick your cock in there and pump it up until your cock turns blue. He said move back and forth and it'll make you cum. He said you can look at the hot pharmacist while you cum. Howard asked how he missed that one. Howard said that's a sex crime. Brent said you can't do that. Robin said Ronnie does not know where the line is.
Howard asked all of the guys if they have ever met a guy as horny as Ronnie. Sal said he questions himself if there's something wrong with him. He said he's losing his libido compared to Ronnie. Jason said he doesn't have Ronnie's energy now and he's 30 years younger. Brent said he was looking forward to not thinking about sex all the time when he got to that age. Ronnie said he still fucks 3 times a week. He said he doesn't have to jerk off. Ronnie said that she can't deal with him because he might be wearing her out. He said she tells him she's tired and leave her alone. He said he doesn't have to jerk off. He said he can wait a day.
Howard asked Ronnie what else he's doing other than blow jobs and things. Ronnie said they do things that he's not going to talk about. Howard asked what else they do that's not anal. Ronnie said he's jerked off in front of her. Gary asked if she gives him hand jobs. Ronnie said she does. Howard asked what else is going on there. Howard asked if they shit on each other. Ronnie said nothing crazy like that. Brent asked if she puts a strap-on with him. Ronnie said no but they use vibrators.
Howard asked how many times a week Ronnie ejaculates. Ronnie said at least 4. Howard said Ronnie cums 4 times a week at least. Howard said what he's saying is that he has no problem doing it and he could do it more if she was up to it. Ronnie said that's right. He said she tells him that he's over sexed.
Brent asked if she brings other chicks over. Ronnie didn't say. The guys said that must be it. Howard said this is something. Sal said this is amazing. He said he's an inspiration. Ronnie said he can count the number of times he's jerked off since he met her. Ronnie said she'll be brushing her teeth and he'll jerk off to her in the shower. Shuli said he just lost it thinking about a naked Ronnie in the shower.
Robin asked if his libido increased as he got older. Ronnie said in his 50s and 60s it did but now it's slowing down a bit.
Shuli said he heard from another comic that Ronnie is really loud in his room when he was with his girlfriend while they were on the road. Howard said he doesn't make any noise when he does it. He said he learned to keep his mouth shut as a kid. Ronnie said it's cool when a girl screams. Howard said if Beth makes a noise he's happy. Howard said according to Shuli's buddy it's Ronnie making the noise. Ronnie said he wasn't making noise. Ronnie said sometimes he does but not that time on the road. Howard played a porn clip of a guy getting really loud.
Sal asked if Ronnie has one other girl or do they rotate. Ronnie said that's private. Howard said the point is that he has a tremendous sexual libido. Howard said he doesn't have to use Viagra. Ronnie said he has tried Cialis that he got from Bubba. Howard said he'd never take a pill from a guy like that. He said he's not a doctor. Ronnie said Bubba is cool. Ronnie said he tried Viagra one and that was better for him. Ronnie said he used a 100mg pill. Brent said that's a lot. He said 25 is normal. Ronnie said he was like a street lamp that time. Howard asked if he was done after that. Ronnie said it happened all over again the next morning. He said he woke up early an he was pole hard again. Howard said it's like when Einstein came up with E=MC2.
Howard was trying to talk but Ronnie and Brent were talking about their pills. Shuli told Ronnie to shut up. Ronnie said here are two types of Cialis but just one type of Viagra. He said there's a daily use Cialis and one you take when you want to get hard right away.
Howard said Ronnie is like a lobster. He said they have sex when they're a hundred years old. Howard said he has to take a break. Robin was asking questions about Ronnie and his libido but Howard said they have to interview Robin now. He said they have to turn that spotlight on her. Robin was still asking questions so Howard cut her microphone off and went to break.
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Howard came back and said this is a first. He said he's never had Robin in to be interviewed as a guest. Howard said she's sitting on the couch today. Howard said they're there to celebrate her as an artist. Robin said she can't hear herself. Howard told Gary to get that set up. Robin said she's nervous. She said she has the feeling that guests have on the show. She said she wants this to go well.
Howard said they're there to hear her new album and there is pressure there too. Howard asked when she last recorded. Robin said it's been a couple of years. Howard asked if she liked Gary sticking the headphones on her. Robin said she could have put them on herself.
Howard said it has been a difficult time for Robin health wise. Robin said that she has heard a lot about people anticipating this and looking forward to it too. She said that's more pressure.
Howard said Robin's health issues have been going on over the past couple of years. Howard asked if the singing is part of that to get through it. Robin said that's something she did before. Robin said they did the On Demand Show and they had a crew downtown somewhere. Robin said Fred was playing ''Cocaine'' one day and they pulled some audio of her singing in her studio to that song. Robin said she was having so much fun singing and when it was over and they were going back on the air she wondered what it sounded like. Robin said then she discovered that they could hear it downtown. Robin said they recorded it there. Robin said she didn't like it but it was funny and people loved it. Robin said if her singing can do that for people she should do it more often.
Howard said he wants to talk about Robin's singing in her life. Howard said Robin grew up in Baltimore. Howard said her mother was a homemaker. Robin said she sat around and tortured her. Howard said her parents both had 7th grade educations. Robin said it's amazing they found each other. Howard said Robin says that her mother played a lot of music. Robin said she played them herself, not her mom. She said she'd listen until she knew the song. Robin said she'd do chores and she'd sing on her own without the music. Howard said Robin's mom told her to shut up. Robin said she hated the noise.
Howard asked if that turned her off to music. Robin said sometimes she didn't know she was even doing it. Robin said sometimes she'd be downstairs with the stereo and she'd sing whole albums and her mother would scream ''Shut up!''
Howard said Robin sang in the glee club in 10th grade. Howard said she got into a lot of different kinds of music. Howard said Robin's mom banned her from taking piano lessons, violin and ballet. Robin said they told her she was going to be a maid or some other low level worker. She said they didn't think she should waste her time.
Howard asked if she wonders what might have been if she had learned to sing. Robin said she doesn't think so.
Howard said he thinks about Robin dating and how Clarence Clemens wanted to take her out. Howard said he told her that on the air. Howard asked if she thinks she should have been with him because she could have formed something or learned from him. Robin said not for a second.
Howard said Robin asked Paul McCartney out on a date. Robin said she wasn't serious. Howard said Linda didn't have a great voice but Paul took her out on the road. Robin said she never thought they'd get together. Robin said she loved the Beatles and she wondered what it would be like to come on to him.
Howard said Wyclef Jean also came on to Robin. He said he picked her up off her feet. Robin said he was demonstrating how he can have sex with a woman on her feet. Robin said she can't deal with high maintenance people so she would never be able to date someone like that.
Howard said Robin is a big supporter of Broadway. He said she loves musicals. Robin said she doesn't love them all. She said she sees plays and likes a few musicals. Howard said that Robin likes pop music. Robin said she'd like to be a rock singer if she could be a singer. Robin said she likes the channel Velvet on SiriusXM. She said that's where all of the Divas music is played.
Howard said that Robin has a relationship with Simone Dinnerstein. Howard asked if she enjoys that. Robin said she's also friends with her father who is an artist.
Howard asked if Robin thinks she could have learned piano if she had done it as a child. Robin said she tried it as an adult but her left hand does not work for her.
Howard asked why Robin only does cover songs. Robin said she does sing some songs that she makes up. She said she sings a lot at home. Robin said she walks around singing and sometimes it's an original tune. Howard asked if she imagines a time when she'll record original music. Robin said she doesn't know about that. Robin said in 6th grade she and a friend wrote a song to some music. Robin said that they used to walk home singing their song.
Howard said right now they're talking to Robin Quivers the artist. Howard said she has a lot of emotion and a lot of thoughts. Robin said right.
Howard said Robin reminds him of Frank Sinatra or Barbra Streisand. Howard said they didn't write their own but they sang. Robin talked about some other singers who she was into as a kid who were like that.
Howard asked if she remembers what her song was to the tune of. Robin said it was to the tune of ''On Top of Old Smokey.'' She doesn't remember what the lyrics were.
Howard said Robin had a breast reduction and they grew back. Robin said she'd never go through that again.
Howard said he has to get to Robin's music. He said her music can be heard exclusively on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said everyone is loving this. He said they're working through her history but he had to do a live commercial read.
After the commercial read Howard said Robin has been going through health issues but she found joy going into the studio. Howard said she could have just said fuck that. Robin said she would never be bitter. Howard said it would occur to him to be bitter.
Howard said Robin's mother tried to silence her voice. Robin said her mother never stopped her from doing anything. She said she always did whatever she wanted to do. Howard said Robin's web site slogan is ''Choose to win.''
Howard said that Derek was Robin's producer on her new album. Robin said they collaborated on song choices. Robin said they weren't getting the right sound. She said it's very complicated. Howard said she took this very seriously. Howard said she was using wild hand gestures and let her full throat work. Robin said she was inhibited when they had the wrong material. Robin said when they moved on to the stuff she wanted to do then she opened up. Howard asked what songs were wrong for her. Robin said there was new material that wasn't very well known. Robin said one of the things is some familiarity with the song that she has to have.
Howard had some audio of Robin complaining about the music she was covering. She didn't like the song choices. She had a Miley Cyrus song that she didn't like. It was Malibu. Robin said she can't do some of the things these singers do.
Howard said Robin had a teacher but she said there was nothing she could teach her. Robin said that was said to someone else. Robin said they never got around to the singing. Robin said she must have heard her sing and she knew it was never going to happen.
Howard said they used to have a sponsor called Singalodeon and in 1990 Robin sang with the Singalodeon. Howard said this is the oldest tape they have of Robin singing. Howard played the clip and said history was made that day. Robin said that was painful. Robin said she didn't know it at the time.
Howard said he remembers when the band Staind would come in and Robin would sing. Howard played her singing ''If It Makes You Happy.''
Howard said he wants to get to the new album. Robin said she hasn't even heard it yet. Robin said that Derek would tell her the lowdown on how it sounds but she hasn't heard the finished product. Robin said this is the best singing career she can have. Howard said this is very exciting. He said this is her new album ''Divas.'' Howard did a live commercial read before getting to that.
Howard said they're speaking to Robin Quivers the musician. Howard said she has a new album and she loves working with Derek. Howard said he is the ears for Robin. Robin said he has a look he gets when she does something well. She said she trusts that look.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said she's a cross between Joni Mitchell and Ethel Merman. Fred said he's he one who discovered her talent at DC-101. He said he snuck a recorder in her studio when she was singing an REO Speedwagon song. Robin remembered that. Howard said Robin got upset about that for a while and she stopped singing. Howard said she eventually went back to it. Robin said Fred put the tape recorder under her desk. He said it was very sneaky. Robin said she was wearing headphones so she didn't hear herself. Fred said sometimes she'd be smoking and she'd sing without hearing herself.
Robin said she went to the gym that day after he played it and someone at the gym heard the show. She said they heard that and the guy walked over and said ''I'm so sorry.'' She said it was horrible. She said she wishes she could sing. Robin said he was apologizing to her for Howard being so horrible to her. Robin was crying while talking about that. Howard said he has to apologize for that. Robin said that crushed her. She said it took her a while to get over that. Fred said her misery was their gold. Robin said it was a betrayal. She said they betrayed her. Howard said he's sorry about that. Robin was laughing and crying. She said in hindsight it's funny but she still feels that pain.
Howard said when he brings up her cancer she doesn't even cry. Robin said it's the singing that gets to her.
Howard said he's going to ask Derek to come in to talk about this. Howard said maybe he can give them some insight into this. Howard said they recorded this very rapidly. Robin said that's the way you have to do it.
Howard asked Derek if he's nervous recording her. Derek said he was nervous the first time he worked with her on the National Anthem recording she did. Derek said she's very theatrical. He said she grips the air and does hand gestures. Howard said she has to do something live there. Robin said she has to forget that they're there. Derek said he looks away when she's singing. He said it's very intimate.
Howard said Derek helped Robin select the songs. Derek said he did but they had problems at the start. He said that she wanted to do the songs of the Divas of today. He said they picked current songs and they weren't speaking to her. Howard said Robin got testy. Robin said she wasn't testy. Robin said she was just trying to make this as good as possible.
Howard said Robin cared about the project. Howard had some audio of Robin warming up before the singing. Howard played a few clips of her doing that.
Howard said now it's time. He said they're going to play Robin singing ''Firework'' by Katy Perry. Howard said he didn't think that would be something she'd do. Robin said these are Divas and sometimes they don't showcase their voices.
Howard asked Derek if he was shocked by this choice. Derek said he was but it's a great one to open the album with. He said she does her songs in one take too. Robin said you give your best out of the box. Howard played Robin singing the song and it was just as bad as any other song she's performed. Howard and Robin were laughing. Howard asked if she's crying. Robin was laughing. Howard said he has goose bumps on his arms. He said he stared at the computer and there was nothing to stare at.
Howard said he likes the order of the songs on the album too. Derek said there's a real build. Howard said he took on Kelly Clarkson's ''Because of You'' next. Robin said she thinks she's a great singer so she had to do one of her songs. Howard played the song and it was the usual bad singing. Robin was crying. She said this is disgusting. She asked why he's doing this to her.
Howard asked if she would do one night on Broadway. Robin laughed. Howard said he knows Robin likes Sia and she did one of her songs. Robin said people don't know that she wrote for other people and they just followed what she did. Howard said Robin did Chandelier and Diamonds. Derek said that Chandelier is the show stopper on the album. Robin said she came up with this herself. Robin said she didn't have her on the list originally. She said that they had Diamonds but not Chandelier. Howard said he agrees that it's the show stopper.
Howard played Robin's cover of ''Chandelier'' and she was singing really high and had Howard cracking up. Howard asked if that was a one take. Robin said that she got that look from Derek with that one. She knew it was going to be great. Howard asked if she wanted to cover her face like Sia. Robin said she didn't but she closed her eyes. Howard said he loves how Robin just opens up. Robin said she could have done it without going high. Howard said just let it all out. Robin said you just let it go. Robin said she didn't care that they could hear her outside the soundproof booth. Howard said that really happened too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just wants to thank Robin so much. He said he wants her to know they are laughing with her, not at her.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that was fabulous. He asked Derek if he was wearing noise canceling headphones during the recording. Derek said no way.
Howard took a call from Robin's mother from heaven. She was saying that she was wrong and Robin can sing. She said Robin is going to be a singing and tap dancing star.
Howard said Robin also covered Sia's ''Diamonds.'' Robin said Howard played the demo of the original song and it was a copy of what Sia had done. Robin said that's what she wanted to do. Robin said Sia is incredible and these other singers are just mimicking her. Derek said she also did it like Rihanna in the song. Howard played her cover of ''Diamonds'' and she was doing it like Rihanna.
Howard asked if it was tough to do that accent. Robin said it was and she would change it now that she's heard it. Howard said Derek should have said something to her. Derek said he's just there to record her. He said he doesn't tell her what to do.
Howard said the next song is Robin raw and emotional. Robin said she wanted to point out that was her singing with herself on Diamonds. Howard said he saw her smile during that. Howard said she liked it. Robin laughed.
Howard said the next song is Robin taking on rap. Howard said a lot of people want to see if she can handle that. Robin said she did this was to show that rap is music. Howard did a live commercial read before getting to the song.
Howard came back and said that Robin's music can be heard on the Howard Stern Show exclusively. Howard said he appreciates her doing this. Howard asked if Fred is enjoying it. Fred said so far so good. He asked if she was inspired by Neil Young because he would hit the same bad note time after time. Robin said that's what she's going for.
Howard said as a side note one of the DJs there at Sirius, Madison, just tweeted that Robin singing is healing her. Robin asked what she's got. Howard said it's healing her leprosy.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's doing a lot better than she could. She asked Robin to sing ''All I Need is Howard in my Life'' but Howard hung up on her.
Howard said that Robin took on Cardi B's song Bodak Yellow. Howard said people say Robin isn't black enough and she doesn't know the streets. Robin said that's right and she doesn't want to know the streets. Howard said this is her answer to those people. Howard played her cover of that song. Robin's cover was really good. Howard said it's really uncomfortable looking at Robin while this is playing. Derek said he doesn't look at her while she's performing.
Howard asked Robin what this song is about. Robin said she thinks she was a dancer before and she's in the music business and she's making money moves. Howard said he thought she was talking about dancing for the money. Robin said she doesn't do that anymore though.
Howard said Robin almost auditioned to be a stripper. Robin said she went there but didn't audition. Robin said she just hung out there. Howard played more of Robin singing that Cardi B song.
Howard said Robin went high in that song. Robin said that's how she does it at home. Howard said you'd swear she still lives in the hood.
Howard said Robin went for a Demi Lovato song. He said she covered Skyscraper. Robin said this is an emotional song. Robin said she thought that it was about soaring above all of the noise out there on social media. Robin said it was soaring above all of that. Robin said she doesn't care about people's opinions. Howard played Robin singing the song ''Skyscraper.'' Howard said she sounds vulnerable in that one.
Howard said this moves him. He said maybe it's because he never wants to lose her. Howard said he's not sure if it's the music or not. Robin said she invested emotion in that song. She said Derek told her to do that breathy thing. Derek said she put a lot of passion into that one. Howard said that's the breath of a true singer. Howard said he loves this one. He said it might be his favorite. Fred said you hear the struggle in her voice.
Howard said Taylor Swift is the biggest singer in the world right now. Robin said she is the biggest recording artist. Howard said she had to cover one of her songs. He said this is her song ''Look What You Made Me Do.'' Howard said he didn't think she'd like it that much. Robin said they had words over this one. Derek said they felt it was a good one to cover. Howard said this is crazy that they had a discussion about it. He said he has to get out of there.
Derek said he thinks Fred will have drops from this one for years to come. Howard played the song and there were a lot of moans and things in it. Howard said it's very sexual. Robin said she had to get into that Taylor Swift mindset. Howard said it was very sexy. Fred said he thinks people are going to be putting sheets up in the hall and throwing rose petals out for her. Howard said he thinks Robin did better than Taylor Swift.
Howard said the final song is coming up. Robin said ''Thank God.'' Howard said Robin's live has been about the climb and she was told not to be a singer. Howard said it's been very emotional for her. Robin said it's very important for her. Howard said she has come to a point where she's enjoying her singing career. Robin said it is the climb. Robin said you don't get here by accident. Robin said you have to take a path and sometimes it's painful. Howard said she owns this one too. Howard said she covered ''The Climb.'' Derek said she commands the room when she's singing.
Howard played Robin singing ''The Climb.'' He said Robin looks surprised by that one. Howard asked what Robin's message is to little girls growing up. Robin said someone she recorded said if you want to sing then just sing. Howard said he thought this had to do with her cancer and beating it. Robin said all of life is a climb. Robin said you have to work your way up there. Howard said you hear every ounce of her struggle in that song. Howard said he's there with her during that struggle.
Hard said they should climb into the weekend. He said they made this show very special. He said that this show was all about this album. He said that clearing the computer stuff was all nonsense. Howard asked Robin if she'll do more music. Robin said there will always be more. Howard thanked Derek the producer for coming in and told him to get back to work. Howard said he thinks the audience is begging for more. Robin said not right away.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loved it. She said god bless Robin. She said today is her Friday and she's been crying laughing. Howard asked why she's laughing.
Howard said one of the toughest critics out there is Ralph. He took a call from him and Ralph said that this is the best Thursday ever. He said that there is something uplifting there with Robin. He said he lives in an old loft and the dog upstairs was barking when Robin was singing Chandelier. He swore on his mother and sister's life that was true.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she loves Robin and the singing. She said she loves Robin's zest for life. She said it cheers her up whenever she hears Robin. Howard said she's from Alabama so she must love country. The caller said she loves rock music. She said Howard is the sexiest dude too. Howard said this isn't about him.
Howard took another call from Ralph who asked when this album drops. He asked if it'll be out on vinyl. Howard said Robin has to head out to Kelly and Ryan for her album promotion. Ralph liked her cover of the Cardi B song. Howard played a little bit of that for him. Howard took one more call from a deaf guy who said it was great.
Howard said he loved the song choices. He tanked Robin for that. He said he's going to do his own singing now to end the show. He did a live commercial read and ended the show around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 10:50am.