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Howard and the guys were back live after their Thanksgiving vacation. Howard started the show talking about how they're back live after a week off. Howard said he gave thanks for being off. He played a clip of fake Rosie O'Donnell announcing they have Lenny Dykstra coming in today. Robin asked if that's right. Howard said at 9 o'clock Lenny is coming in. He said he is always bragging about eating pussy. Howard said he is an artist with pussy. He said last time he was up there they asked if he can produce any of these women whose pussy he ate. He said he gave them some numbers and they called. Howard said Jason has a pretty good bullshit detector and he talked to these women. Howard said they became enchanted with them and they're going to come in and tell their stories. Howard said they'll be right over there in the studio.
Robin asked if they know their ages. Howard said he knows one is younger. Gary said one is 22. Howard said they're alive. Howard said they won't have bags over their heads. He said he's afraid his mom and sister are going to show up. Howard played a couple of eating pussy songs the guys put together.
Howard played a clip of Lenny talking about Robin's pussy not working and how he heard about that. He said he's going to bring it back to life for her. He said he'll give her mouth to pussy resuscitation. Howard said Robin might be in for a treat today too.
Howard jokingly said tomorrow they'll have the women who Tom Selleck has fingered. He said he'll be in to talk about that. Howard played another song parody about Lenny eating snatch.
Howard said that's something to look forward to. He said they had Ronnie and Lenny doing sex tips before they went on vacation. He said some people weren't happy about that. He read some email from some people who were talking about how vile that stuff was. Howard said some people just can't handle it. Howard played a song parody that Ronnie and Lenny put together called ''I'm a Little Bit Cunty'' to the song ''I'm a Little Bit Country.''
Howard said that with any luck Robin will get lucky today. Robin said that won't happen. She said she doesn't care what those women say. Howard played another song parody.
Speech Impediment Man said she was offended that he went to Pittsburgh without her and saw some strippers and things like that. He said he was tweeting her back and forth. He said his wife accused him of having an affair with her. He said that was his fault. Howard said he likes that he calls Pittsburgh ''Pigsburgh.''
Howard said Speech Impediment Man found a woman who played into his ability to get her on the Howard Stern Show and his wife got upset. Speech Impediment Man said he'd never do anything like that. He said he was just goofing around. Howard said he didn't do anything wrong and he's saying it brought it on himself. Howard said he sounds completely beaten down by this woman. Howard said he had nothing going on with this woman but he's in trouble for that. Howard asked if he had any dirty talk. Speech Impediment Man said no. Robin said it sounds like a thin excuse. Howard said she must have just wanted out. He said it was an easy way to get out of it.
Howard asked if his wife really thinks that he'd have an affair with a stripper. Howard did an impression of Speech Impediment Man talking to his wife.
Howard said he likes that his wife's excuse was that he talked to a stripper. Speech Impediment Man said he's lost 25 pounds. Howard continued to do his impression of Speech Impediment Man talking to his wife.
Howard said he heard that Speech Impediment Man met his wife on a dating site called PlentyOfFish. Speech Impediment Man said that's right. He said it was Plenty of Fish but he said ''Fits'' instead. Howard goofed on him about that. Howard said he met his wife on a web site he can't pronounce. Howard said maybe he went on the wrong site and went on ''Plenty Of Fits.''
Howard asked about his money. Speech Impediment Man said he's getting half of it back. Howard asked how long he was married. Speech Impediment Man said it was 3 years. Howard said he lost half his money for 3 years of marriage. Gary said Shuli is saying that he's on his best behavior so he can get that half.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's dating Speech Impediment Man's ex-wife. Howard took the call and the guy was doing an impression of Speech Impediment Man talking about dating his wife.
Howard said he likes that there's a web site called Plenty of Fish in the Sea. Speech Impediment Man said it's Plenty of Fish. Howard said it's like a foul reference to vagina when they call it fish. Howard said maybe it should be Plenty O' Losers.
Howard asked Speech Impediment Man how he found out about the site. Speech Impediment Man said a friend told him about it and it was free so he went on and went out with a couple of girls. He said they were even bigger losers. He said this one had a good job and a house. Howard asked when they meet him where do they meet. Speech Impediment Man said they met at an Applebee's in Tennessee. Howard asked if it was a surprise to them that he has a speech impediment. Speech said he prepares them. He said this woman looked him up on the internet. Howard asked who he tells them he is. Speech Impediment Man said he tells them he's on the Howard Stern Show. He said you have to do whatever you can to get some pussy.
Howard said he must be out of it. He said he'd go on the date and just say he's drunk. He said when he sobers up he'll be fine. Howard asked if he's ever been mistaken for Beetlejuice. Speech Impediment Man said he hasn't but he has been asked if he knows him.
Speech Impediment Man asked if he can talk to Lenny today. Howard said sure. Howard said he doesn't know what he just said. Howard asked if he wants to talk to him because he went to high school with him. Speech Impediment Man said he did. He said he was a great athlete. Howard asked if he was known as the man. Speech Impediment Man said he was. He said he was the big man on campus. Howard asked if he knew him. Speech Impediment Man said he played football with him one year. He said his brother signed him to his first pro contract. He said he put his brother in his book. Howard said he thinks he's going to handle the interview today. He said he won't be taking a call from Speech Impediment Man because that might slow things down.
Speech Impediment Man said he just wanted to say hi to him. Robin said that's not going to be entertaining to the audience. Howard said he'd be Screeching Halt Man if he took that call. Howard did his impression of Speech Impediment Man talking to Lenny. He said Speech Impediment Man said he thinks he played football with him. Speech Impediment Man said he knows he played varsity football with him. He said he was a senior and Lenny was a sophomore.
Howard said maybe he should put that in his dating profile on PlentyOfFish. Howard said he can imagine taking the call from Speech Impediment Man during the Lenny interview. He did an impression of Speech Impediment Man calling in during that segment.
Howard asked Speech Impediment Man if he gets what he's saying. Speech Impediment Man asked if he can ask Lenny about some tips for him and his dating. Howard played some messages of hope for guys with erectile dysfunction. Howard asked how that is. Speech Impediment Man said he'll take it. He asked Howard if he can leave him on hold because his wife took his radio. Howard said he has to leave the line open for other people. Howard told him to listen on the computer. Speech Impediment Man said he doesn't have a computer. He said he's got nothing. He said he's living at a buddy's house.
Howard said maybe he should get a real job. Speech Impediment Man said he is a security guard. He said he's making 12 bucks an hour. Howard did an impression of Speech Impediment Man as a security guard. He had him telling a guy to stop or he'll shoot but he was saying ''Dop or I'll doot.'' Howard had Robin pretend to be a robber and tried to tell her to stop or he'll shoot. He was telling her to do something about ''Dane Diland'' and Robin had no idea what he was saying. Howard told her he was telling her she has the right to remain silent. Howard continued to goof on Speech Impediment Man about that for a short time.
Robin asked if Speech Impediment Man carries a gun. Speech Impediment Man said no. Howard did his impression of a depressed Speech Impediment Man. Howard said this fucking guy he told to get out of stand up comedy. Howard said at least he's doing the security job. Speech Impediment Man said he has to have some back up. He said he's trying.
Howard said it really doesn't sound like he did anything wrong with the wife. Howard said she must have just wanted out. Howard said he seems like a good dude. Howard did more of his impression of Speech Impediment Man talking to his wife. Howard said it sounds like she just wanted any reason to leave. Howard said she must have said she wanted to leave over anything he did.
Speech Impediment Man said she was upset that he peed on the floor too. Howard said he should have cleaned it up. Speech Impediment Man said he tried. Robin said she had a reason to leave, he was disgusting. Speech Impediment Man said she told him that. He said he's not a very clean person. Howard said she should have walked him like a dog. Robin asked they lived together before they got married. Speech Impediment Man said they did. Howard said Jon Hein's wife makes him sit down to pee. Howard said he put urinals in his bathroom so he can stand to pee. Howard said Speech Impediment Man should lift his leg like a dog to pee. Speech Impediment Man laughed and asked if he should do it in a hole in the back yard.
Howard asked if he can hang up on him or does he really have to leave him on hold. Speech Impediment Man said he can't listen without being on hold. Speech Impediment Man asked if he has a game or something he can play so he can get some money for a radio. Howard said he'll put him on hold. Howard said he does love the guy. He said he is annoying. Speech Impediment Man thanked him. Howard said he knew when he had a wife that it was going to be trouble. Howard said there are plenty of fish in the sea if he got a wife.
Howard told Speech Impediment Man to ''dold on.'' He kept saying it but Robin didn't understand. She asked if he's talking about the new president. Howard told him to ''dold on da dine.'' Robin acted like she didn't understand. Howard yelled he was saying ''Hold!''
Howard wondered if the paying listeners get upset that he gets to listen for free. Speech Impediment Man said no. Howard said hold on but he needs the phone lines to take calls. Robin asked when he's going to be back on his feet. Speech Impediment Man said his buddy says he can stay at his place forever. Howard said yeah, and his wife told him she'd be with him forever. Howard told him to sit down and pee at his buddy's house. Howard said he had a friend who would come over and go to the powder room and every time he came over he'd piss on the floor and seat. Howard said he decided not to have him over ever again. Howard said Robin knows the guy but he's not going to say who it is. Howard said it's not Jimmy Kimmel.
Howard put Speech Impediment Man on hold. Howard said he knows he loves him so he takes advantage of that. Speech Impediment Man said Howard is the best. Howard said he just goofed on him for a half hour about his marriage and he's the best? Speech Impediment Man said he is. Howard continued to goof on him.
Howard asked if Speech Impediment Man is cleaning up his act. Speech Impediment Man said he is. He said he wants to clean his act up and maybe do some comedy. Robin asked if he went to a judge about the money. Speech Impediment Man said they did. He said they brought up the Howard Stern Show at the trial. He said her lawyer tried to make it look like he was with strippers. Howard said this poor guy has a speech impediment and he's making 12 dollars and hour. He said his wife is capable of making that kind of money. He said they should have given him his money. Howard said it's like ''Dudge Duty.'' Howard said it was Judge Judy and she threw the book at him.
Speech Impediment Man said he was stupid and loaned her some money. Howard said he's got no money but he's loaning it out. Howard said he's not Donald Trump. Speech Impediment Man said he's sorry he was in love. Howard told him not to be in love until he can afford it. Speech Impediment Man said Shuli told him he should date guys. Howard said he doesn't need to be married or living with a woman. Howard said get a decent lawyer and do something about this. He said he'd go to the judge and tell him how horribly he's doing. Howard said he can't afford to pay half of his $12 an hour salary.
Howard said he really has to get out of this. He said none of this makes sense. Howard said if he was the judge he'd take it easy on this guy. Howard said she probably makes more money than him. Howard said imagine he's in court. He said this is why the country is in trouble.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back doing a woman's voice and talking like Speech Impediment Man. Howard asked her some questions but her answers were unintelligible. The guy came out and did his male voice and Howard said he thinks they were trolled. Howard asked her to do his woman voice again. He did it but Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said that girl didn't mind if he peed on the floor. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who asked if he saw Aretha Franklin performing the National Anthem. Howard said he did and it was awful. Howard said he thinks she's great but she tortured America with that song. Howard said he loves the National Anthem but they have to stop doing it before every game. Howard said they don't need to do that. Howard said it's not necessary. He said he's not sure why they started it. He said he knows why but he's not going to get into it.
Howard said Aretha did this performance at a Detroit game. Howard said they asked her to do it before a Vikings and Lions game. Howard said fine if you do it for 2 minutes. He said she dragged it out for over 4 minutes. Howard said the intro with the piano was 45 seconds. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said in concert that's fine. He said she dragged out every word. Howard said if they did this before The Walking Dead he'd kill himself. He said he just wants to get into the show. Howard asked what the fuck football and Aretha Franklin have in common. Howard said they want to watch men beating into each other. The caller said he thought she was going to go fast and soulful but she repeated some of the lines 7 times. Howard said he read online that he had to watch this performance. He said he was in his car for like 2 hours and he didn't even make it through the intro when he tried to watch. He said they have to stop with this.
Howard played more of Aretha singing. Howard said she has the voice of an angel but lets get to the game. Howard played a little bit of the song and he'd goof on her about it. Howard said he has a 4 hour radio show and he doesn't waste time like this. Howard said there's 3 minutes left on this song. He said you feel like you're trapped. He said it's unbelievable. Howard said they should have given her the hook.
Howard said he didn't even make it this far when he was watching in the car. Robin said it's like torture. Howard played more of the song. Howard said listening to his car start is more fun. Howard said Whitney Houston's version was 2 minutes and 50 seconds. Howard said this is going on forever. Howard said it's not Freebird. He said that song is like 11 minutes long. Fred said it might be longer.
Howard said the average time to sing the song is a minute and 57 seconds. Robin said this is twice. Howard said it's over twice. He let the song play and laughed as Aretha dragged it out. Howard said people just want to watch the game. He said most of the guys watch the game for 4 hours and now they have to spend more time watching this.
Howard asked where she repeats the song. He said it must be this part. Howard said 3 players retired during this song. Howard laughed as it played. He said he can't take it. Howard said Freebird is 14 minutes and 50 seconds. Howard said she should have gone for 14 minutes.
Howard said that was too much. Robin said that was self indulgent. Howard said she held America hostage. Howard asked where Trump is.
The caller said he's watching The Sopranos and he wondered if Howard was ever offered a role on the show. Howard said no. He said he's watching the show over and he was laughing at this one episode so hard that Beth said he was laughing too hard. Howard said the show was so brilliant. Howard said it's the episode where Pauly and Christopher go into the woods to find the Russian. Howard said there's a scene where they are chasing this Russian and the call Tony but his phone doesn't work. Howard said it's such brilliant writing. Howard said just go back and watch it.
Howard took a call from a guy who did his version of the National Anthem and dragged it out even longer than Aretha. Robin said Jimi Hendrix dragged it out to 3:21. Howard said he could have shortened it too.
Howard played a clip from The Sopranos where Pauly and Christopher were in the woods. Tony is telling the guys what the guy did and how he can't come back. His phone cut out and the guys talked about what Tony just told them.
Howard said he was laughing his ass off at that. He said he was laughing so hard and then got reprimanded by this wife. Howard said he was wearing headphones. He said it's the worst when you annoy your wife. Howard said when they first got together they couldn't annoy each other. Howard said he told her that it finally happened and he annoyed her. Howard said she said it was just a loud laugh. Howard said it's just them so who cares. He said he saw it as a sign. He said he had better not pee on the floor like Speech Impediment Man. He doesn't want to lose that woman.
Howard said that Time Magazine named that episode of The Sopranos the number one episode. Howard said he has to review the whole series to come up with his own list.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's pissed off at Howard. She said she wants equal time for women. She said she has sex tips for Christmas. Howard said that was all started by Ronnie. The caller said she thinks women can have their own sex tips. She said she has one for Christmas. She said what you do is make pasta and take him into the bedroom and make his dick real hard. Then you play like you have an orgasm. She said he cums in you and then you pull a Lorena Bobbit and chop his dick off and while the pasta water is going you take that water and boil it. Howard said he has to get out of this. Howard said she's talking about cutting his dick off. Howard said he's calling the police on her. She said it's like what the guys are doing the women in the sex tips. Howard said those guys are out of their minds. He said Ronnie is out there jerking off to her sex tip right now. Howard let her go.
Howard said they called this angry political guy's radio show. Howard said this is so good. Howard played the call and the guy takes call from the guys who were doing an impression of the guy's very unique voice and claimed that the host stole the voice from them. The guy argued that he didn't steal a voice from anyone. Then the guys had this guy taking a shit and they kept him on the line.
Howard said that's the best phony phone call yet. He said they got him good. Howard had his guy in the back doing the impression on the phone. Howard said that's the best. He let the guy go. Robin said that's a great impression of that guy's voice. Howard said it's totally useless other than to call into that one show. Howard played a song parody they made about that host. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said they've been gone a week. He said he has some updates. He said Brent got married. Robin didn't know about that. Howard said Ronnie went to a NASCAR race in Miami and he saw him Tweeting about that on Twitter.
Howard said Fidel Castro died. Howard said he's sure they'll talk about that in the news. Robin said they do have different reactions. Robin said there will be 8 days of mourning in Cuba. Robin said there's no dancing or drinking allowed during that time. Howard said they still have the brother who is 85 and all spry. Howard said being a horrible dictator keeps you strong and lively.
Howard said he lost faith in our government when we weren't able to take down his government in Cuba. Howard said they should have been able to pick that country up like we've done with others. Robin said you can't do that. She said Alaska was given to us by the Russians. Robin said Hawaii wanted to be part of it. Howard said he thinks Cuba would too. Howard said even Mexico would. Howard said when you read that Castro survived over 600 assassination attempts you have to scratch your head. Howard said half of them were probably CIA attempts. Robin said they'd do crazy things like put poison on a car handle and he'd never touch the handle. Howard said we have the greatest army and intelligence and we were never able to get rid of this guy. Howard said he believes that is why the rest of the world disrespects us now.
Howard said he thought here was nothing our military couldn't do. Howard said they weren't able to do this. Howard said it's really distressing. He asked if this is the 601st attempt on his life and they finally got him. He said we should just take credit for it. Howard said we just waited until he was 90. Howard said they got him when he took an enema. Robin said it's like the Mafia and Henry Hill. She said they just gave up at some point.
Howard said Castro has a bunch of kids so they'll be waiting in line to take over the country. Howard said you know he wasn't using a rubber with the women he was with.
Howard said Florence Henderson died. Robin said she died in a weird way. She was just on Dancing with the Stars 3 days before her death. Howard said that show is killing people. Howard said at least 7 people died during the Aretha Franklin performance.
Howard said he thinks they had a Castro kid on the show. Gary didn't remember that. Howard said Robin did record a tribute. Howard played her singing ''Hallelujah.'' Howard said she's like Aretha Franklin.
Howard said Ron Glass died too. He said he was on Barney Miller. Howard said a recount was started by Jill Stein who got 1 percent of the vote. Robin said she asked for some money and then raised the price when she got what she said she needed.
Howard said he's not a conspiracy theorist guy but there are some odd things about the election. Howard said 18 out of 20 polls had Hillary winning before the election. Howard said let that slide but then you year that there are machines that they use for voting and the chip in the machine is hackable. He said they're also saying that the Russians are prepared to hack the election. Howard said they say they have hacked emails and things already. Howard said then you wonder about this whole thing. Howard said the computer experts looked at the voting machines and there was a consistency in the amount of wins and votes. Howard said all of this is out there. He said forget Jill Stein, he thinks that everyone should demand that the election is fair. Robin said no one cared about the emails being leaked and used in the election. Howard said then you remember the hanging chads and the Gore and Bush election. Howard said it's amazing that we're not sure if we're having a fair election. Howard said he wonders why they don't do a recount on every election. Robin said if they're hacked votes then how do they figure it out. Howard said that's what he's wondering.
Robin said they say there is no evidence that it was hacked. Howard said he wants to know how we can't come up with a system that's unhackable. Robin said a paper ballot is unhackable. Howard said fine then. Howard said Sal told him that his machine was broken and the vote would be entered later. Howard said it's all of this weird bullshit that's going on. He said he thinks there should be a recount on every election. Robin said the only thing you can't hack is paper and pencil. Howard said we should go back to that then. Howard said American Idol was able to figure it all out and no one complains.
Howard said Johnny Carson started all of that with Carnac. Howard said he has his Sternac turban with the big jewel in it. Howard said Nick announced he's having another kid too. Howard said his life is out of control. Howard asked what the fuck he's doing. Howard said the mother is someone he's already broken up with. Howard said he has the turban and he's knocking women up to show how masculine he is.
Howard said he has a theory. He said he thinks Nick did the turban and thought it would catch on but it didn't so he's trying to up the ante. Howard said the whole thing about the studying of culture is out there. Howard said he has to get him back in there. He said he has to talk to him about the kid. Howard played another clip of Nick talking about that on the other show. He said God said be fruitful and multiply so he's doing God's work out there.
Howard asked what's going on with him. Howard said he had it so good. He said he fucks like a wild man. Robin wondered if they decided to have a baby. Howard said he probably doesn't use a rubber. Howard said he looked this girl up and she's some beauty. Howard said it's hard to control that load. He said he has to get him in there to lecture him on this.
Robin asked what the girl's name is. Howard said he forgets. Robin asked if it's Brittany Bell. Howard said that's it. Howard said he should wear a rubber. Robin said that girl has to sit around for 9 months now to have her baby.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what it was like in this country before Roe Vs. Wade. Howard said you had to do weird shit to yourself to get rid of a baby. Howard said it was horrible. He said rich people got abortions from doctors by paying off. Howard said it was under the table. Howard said for the rest of the people out there it was madness. Robin said it was non medical people giving abortions and these women would die. Howard said back in the day Planned Parenthood was a kick to the gut. Howard said it was that or pouring Coca Cola in you. He said it was a terrible time in this country. He said there were women committing suicide and a lot of unwanted children who were given to people who didn't take care of them.
Howard said you have to allow people the option. He said there are too many unwanted children. Howard said there are people out there who are misguided. He said they are religious freaks. He said you're not killing babies. He said they're taking a fetus. Howard said he can't take it anymore. He said he can't believe we're on this topic. Howard let the caller go a short time later.
Howard asked if Lenny is there. Jason said they are all there. Howard said he can take a break then so he can get that going. Howard said he watched a documentary about Dr. John Sarno. Howard said he helped him out with his back pain. Howard said he's explained that whole process before. Howard said he is in the documentary. He said he was interviewed for it. He said the guy from Seinfeld is in it too. Robin said it's Larry David. Howard said that's right. Howard said the documentary is very good. He said it's called ''All that Rage.'' He said he hopes they can get it out there to the people. Howard said Netflix should pick it up.
Howard said he can move on to Lenny Dykstra. He said he's going to take a break and then get to Lenny and the women he brought in. Howard said Lenny loves talking about how great he is at eating out women. Howard said they had a meeting and he wondered if anyone has talked to any of the women he claims he ate out. Howard said now they have two of the women there. Howard said he has Lenny there too. Howard said they'll find out the whole story after the break. Howard said he knows the green room is flooded with pussy juice because of Lenny. Howard played the ''Eat the Snatch'' song parody about Lenny and said they'll find out if all of that stuff is true.
Robin wondered if there are women who didn't enjoy it. Howard said these might be his greatest success stories. He said they'll take a break and hear from those women.
Howard came back and sang along with the Creed song a little bit. Howard said he likes this band. He said he knows they were goofed on a lot. Howard said he didn't think they ripped off Pearl Jam like some people did. Howard said it's a good song. Howard said the guy freaked out and had some kind of breakdown.
Howard said Lenny Dykstra is there. He said they asked Lenny to produce some of the women he's been with. Howard said he's a no bullshit kind of guy. Howard said he just does what you ask. Howard said the women are nice looking too. He said they're young women. Howard said he was hoping to get some of the 80 year olds in there.
Howard said Lenny was in promoting his book a while back. Lenny said he was a NY Times Best Seller after doing Howard's show. Howard asked if he's wealthy now. Lenny said not yet. He said he's getting more pussy than ever though. Howard said he's obsessed with Robin. Lenny said she needs him to help her. He said she has to get a seat on the Space Shuttle and she'll go someplace she's never been.
Howard said Lenny said he would loosen her up. Howard said he was going to do some mouth to pussy resuscitation. Lenny said he could do a thing where she thinks she's having a dream.
Howard said before they get to Robin and the two women he wants to talk to Lenny about the book (''House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge''). He said last time he was there the book was out and he went to the best seller list. Howard said there was some fall out from the book. Howard said Davey Johnson responded saying he was a great player and he didn't have a problem with what he wrote. Lenny said he was doing an autograph show and they were doing it together. He said he and Davey had to talk in the van. He said he talked to him more in that van than he did in the 6 years he worked with him.
Howard said another thing that happened was this Mickey Rourke feud thing. Howard said TMZ found Mickey and he said he would knock out all of his teeth again. He said Lenny told TMZ that they're going to get it on. Lenny said it's legal now to go in the cage in MMA and fight. He said he and Mickey will do it in the cage or right here on Howard's show. Lenny said Mickey was crying like a bitch for a week straight. He said he wants to go at it with Mickey. He said he has to understand what it's like to lose. He said Mickey is old and all juiced up with bullshit. He said if you bet on anyone is bet on him. He said the only way he's going to lose is if he dies. He said Mickey is a pussy.
Howard said he seems kind of brave to him. Lenny said that guy got spoiled on his private plane and he brought his stupid dog with him. Howard said Lenny said he set the face lift thing back 20 years. Lenny also goofed on his hair piece.
Howard asked if he has approached him about the MMA thing yet. Lenny said he can do it right there in that room. He said he will have a fight to the death if they allow it. He said he'd do it. Howard asked if you can imagine that fight. He said it would be the biggest ratings ever.
Howard asked if he can say anything about Mickey that's nice. Lenny said he's a great actor. He said that he had a technique with blow. He said he had his pinkie and you'd talk to him and he'd do like this. Howard said he's not sure if he did drugs or not. Howard said there might be honor in not bringing that up. Lenny said there's honor in paying him back.
Howard asked if Lenny would do pre-fight pussy eating. Lenny said he might. He said that he has done things that get women charged up. Howard said Lenny claims that even more women are into him now.
Howard said the two women there are very attractive. Howard said it's easy to eat their pussy. Howard asked if he's done that older woman thing lately. Lenny said not lately. He said the women have brittle bones and stuff. He said one of the women has a prom fetish. He said she wants to make out and he doesn't want to do that.
Howard said Lenny is there to back up all that he's said. Howard said he was in a meeting and he brought it up and they called to find out if he could produce the women. He did.
Howard talked to Jessica first. Howard said what he read about her is that when Lenny was doing the book tour he hired her to be his assistant. She's a lesbian and Lenny hired her because he didn't want her to be a temptation. Howard said Jessica is a real lesbian. Jessica said she loves women. Howard said she must have had no problem with being around Lenny. Jessica said she didn't think anything would come out of it. Howard said Lenny doesn't like Asian women either so that made it even easier. Lenny said he figured he was good. Howard asked how he convinced her. He asked if it was the constant pussy eating talk. Jessica said she doubted it at first and figured he was talking shit. She said she got curious and that's what got the best of her.
Howard asked if Robin thinks Lenny is close to getting her. Robin said no. Lenny said he'll do it so good she won't be able to feel her toes. Howard asked Jessica how long it took before he got her. Jessica said it wasn't too long. She said it was probably closer to two weeks than 2 days. She said she got a nice massage first. She said it was just supposed to be a massage but then he did more.
Jessica said that Lenny thinks she uses some kind of herb that she doesn't use. Lenny said she smelled like candy. He said she's got some kind of magic in there. He said he said one day he was just going to go down on her and it was hot out. He said they did it 22 days straight. Howard said she must have been shocked she was enjoying it. Jessica said she was. Howard asked what it is that he's doing that is different. Jessica said it's precision and accuracy. She said that's the key to his amazing way. She said he's very focused on the clit. She said he makes nice movements with his tongue and he's very gentle and soft. She said that some people are too rough. She said he's good.
Howard said Lenny calls himself an artist. Howard asked how many orgasms she had in 21 days. Jessica said every day she orgasmed. Robin asked if she did anything for Lenny. Jessica said she didn't. Lenny said he wanted to do something else but she hates penis. He said he has a perfect cock so he asked if she wanted to touch it and it was like he asked her to disable a bomb.
Howard said Lenny nicknamed Jessica PP or Perfect Pussy because her slit is 90 degrees. Lenny said that these girls shave down and it's fine if you have a perfect slot. He said if it's not perfect then grow some hair. He said it's right down the line straight. He said it's perfect.
Howard asked Jessica if she was with any women during that 21 days. She said she was talking to some women but she wasn't dating. Howard asked how many orgasms she was having. She said she'd have one at least every time. Howard asked if she ever hoped that Lenny would become a woman so she could have sex with him. She laughed.
Howard moved on to talk to Jasmine. Robin interrupted and asked if Lenny thinks that all women squirt. Lenny said no. He said that's just piss. Robin said she agrees with him on that.
Howard asked what Lenny would do to Robin if he was with her. Lenny said he would look her in the eyes. Howard asked if Jessica ever had more than one orgasm a day. Jessica said of course. Howard asked if he ever put his tongue up her ass. Lenny said he doesn't do that. He said he never takes a finger in his ass either. Howard asked if she has ever done it any other way than on her back. She said she usually laid on her back propped up on a pillow. She said it was really relaxing. Howard asked how long the session would last. She said it would last a while. She said it was longer than a half hour. Howard said before he throws up he wondered if he ever jerks off. Lenny said he never did until he went to prison.
Howard said he has to get to the other story there. He said this is Jasmine and she's 22 years old. Howard said she's beautiful. Howard said that's her real name too. Howard said she's a comedian and she was one for about 6 months before she met Lenny. Jasmine said back then it was more like a hobby. She said she met him after a set she did in Hollywood a couple of years back. Howard asked if he wore her down right away. Jasmine said the way he was talking made her curious. Robin said ''Really?'' Howard said that's his move to talk about it openly. Howard said that got her intrigued. Howard said as a guy he doesn't think that would get him a woman. Lenny said he lives his life on Honor Code and Loyalty. He said he will make a woman cum. He said he won't stop until he does.
Howard said some women might call 911 if they hear this conversation. Robin asked where this conversation is going on. Lenny said it's in the back. He said he lives in his friend's guest house. He said it goes on there.
Howard said Jasmine meets Lenny at a club and she's beautiful. Howard asked if she had a boyfriend at all. She didn't. Howard said Lenny gives her the rap and then what. He asked if she goes to his friend's house. Jasmine said that he said that he was like an artist and she went to the guest house and it was very romantic. Lenny said it's all his buddy's stuff.
Jasmine said that he told her she had to be a clean canvas so she had to shower first. Howard asked if she had a problem with that. Jasmine said not at all. Howard said that he was impressed with her vagina too. Jasmine said it is pretty cute. Howard asked if he took her towel off and put her on the bed. Lenny said he has rules about the bathroom. He said he won't come in there if she's in the bathroom. Lenny said he stopped taking the pill for his liver. He said he was on a pill for that. Howard asked why he had to talk about that during a good sex story.
Howard said Lenny takes Jasmine into the bedroom and then works his magic. Robin asked if Lenny was dressed. Lenny said he was. Howard asked if he has a nice cock. Jasmine said it's pretty nice. Howard asked what happens in bed. Jasmine said she's on her back and he goes in and he does this thing with the tip of his tongue where he goes fast and slow. She said it's like two butterflies on a leaf. Howard asked if she finds herself orgasmic quickly or does it take time. Jasmine said it takes her a while to cum. She said she did with Lenny. Robin asked if he ever gets tired of it. Lenny said he has a duty to finish. He said both of them have a great pussy. He said he told both of them that they have perfect pussy.
Howard asked Lenny if he had to pick just one of the two which one would it be. Lenny said it might be Jessica because they went 22 days straight. He said nothing was stopping them but mother nature.
Howard said Jasmine cums from Lenny going down on her. Howard asked if he entered her. Robin asked if it was worth all of that. She said it was. Howard asked if she was shocked. Jasmine said she has a hard time with that so she was. She said he was very gentle about it. She said that she asked him to fuck her at one point and he wasn't ready yet because ''PC'' wasn't ready. Lenny said he takes some stuff called Kangaroo. He said this stuff kicks in good. He said it takes about 20 minutes. Lenny said one chick laughed at him when he wasn't ready. Howard said he was traumatized by that.
Howard asked Jasmine about Lenny eating her out and then fucking her. Howard said some women get bored with the eating out thing. Howard asked if he uses his finger on her. She said it's just his tongue. Lenny said that it throws off your balance. He said that once he finds the slot it's a touchdown. Howard asked if he puts his tongue inside. Jessica said he goes around the lips. Howard asked if it ever hits their asshole. Jasmine said never. Jessica said he's very focused. Howard said Lenny eats pussy like he plays baseball.
Howard asked Jasmine if Lenny is good at fucking. She said he is. She said he doesn't put her in doggy style or anything. Lenny said you have to get in at an angle. He demonstrated for Howard.
Howard said Jasmine is saying he's as good at fucking as he is at eating pussy. Jasmine said she never thought about that. Lenny said he won't put a coat on his dick. Howard asked if they were nervous about that. Jasmine said no. Howard said in this day and age you have to be careful. Jasmine said he's very particular.
Lenny mentioned that he can't cum. Howard said that's too bad. He said he's still virile. Howard said it's all about the women. Lenny said it's been so many times. He said it's like work. He said if he's bored he'll go and get a married woman and mount her. He said he'll yell at her to go back to her husband.
Howard asked Lenny if he has the multiple phones. Lenny said he does. He said the gives the women the same phone. He said he has one for the fucking lawyers.
Robin asked if Jasmine had sex with Lenny more than once. Jasmine said she did and it's been more than she can count.
Howard said this is quite remarkable. Howard asked if Robin is tempted now. Robin said no. Howard said he thinks if he could work his magic on Robin that would be great. Lenny said he was going to break out the glass and go right in there and stick his tongue down her throat. Robin said the glass breaking might be kind of crazy. Howard said Lenny thinks that would turn Robin on. Robin said she would get mad if he did that.
Howard said that Lenny has some plugs to get in. Robin asked it's the Kangaroo thing. Lenny said it's not. Howard said that he's plugging the ReboundFinance.com company.
Howard said that the ladies are very beautiful. Howard asked Jessica if she's telling the truth. She said she is. She said she would swear on a stack of bibles if she wasn't Atheist. Howard asked Jasmine if it's all true too. She said it is. She swears to God it's real. She said that she would tell Robin to go for it too. She said two thumbs up.
Howard asked if either of the women are going to have Lenny go down on them today. Jessica said probably. Howard asked if anyone is looking for that.
Howard took a call from Robin's vagina who was puking and saying she was sick. Howard hung up pretty quickly.
Howard said Robin is the master of her own ship. He said he can't tell what turns her on. Lenny said she's a challenge. Jessica said he likes a challenge. Lenny said he gets aroused when he hears her laugh. Robin was very against doing anything with him. Robin said she doesn't want it. She said she likes to think of him as a friend. Howard asked if she'd like to see his penis. Robin said no. Lenny said it's not a monster. Lenny said he can make her cum. Robin said she can make herself cum.
Howard asked Lenny about his jail time and Lenny said he wrote his first book in there. Howard asked if the girls were in therapy at all. They both laughed. Howard said the two women have sworn testimony that he made them cum. Howard said he baked up his statements. Lenny said that he wants to fight Mickey Rourke. He said they'll get it on right there if he wants. Howard said fine. He said he's ready to get it on.
Howard asked if the ladies had any plugs. They were both good. They didn't want to plug anything. Howard said Lenny's message is that he'll make Robin cum. Lenny said that laugh makes him aroused. He said that she won't be able to feel her toes if he can do it to her. Jasmine said she lost feeling in her toes. Howard said he seems to have technique. Howard said Robin deserves it. Lenny said everything revolves around PC. He said he polishes it 3 times a day.
Howard gave Lenny some plugs and wrapped up the interview. Robin was wondering what people are thinking. Howard took a call from a guy, Jim from Raleigh, who said that Mickey Rourke would beat the shit out of him. Lenny said he's ready to take him on.
Howard took another call from a woman who said she thinks that he's bat shit crazy. She said she's with Robin. She said she can go the rest of her life without that guy. She said he's not doing anything new. She said he's using his oral power to distract women from the money.
Howard said most women stop him mid course. He said he has no technique himself. Howard asked if he'd give lessons. Lenny said he can give sex tips. Howard asked Lenny to give him a lesson on a plastic vagina. Howard asked Lenny to look at that. Lenny looked at it and said you don't go right in. He said you go around the sides lightly. He said it's very gentle. He said you're on the clit and grazing it. He said this one looks like an ice cream cone. Howard said that's Lisa Ann's vagina mould by the way. Lenny demonstrated and made a sucking sound. Robin was making a vomit sound from that. Howard said maybe they should wrap up.
Lenny said it's all about being gentle. Jessica told Robin to just try it once. She said she'll be going back for more. She said she's a lesbian and she's still not sure what's going on. Howard said her parents must be thrilled that she's with a guy. Lenny told Robin to look him in the eyes. Robin said she is. Lenny said this is about an 80 degree slot on the plastic thing.
Howard said to bring in a lesbian who is turned on by him is amazing. Howard said Jasmine is big chested. She said she's a D-cup. Lenny said she shaves nice too. He said the Korean is so nice. He said her skin is so nice. He said it's a different kind of skin. He said it's like Robin's skin. He said Robin needs him. Robin laughed.
Howard asked Lenny who he was with for Thanksgiving. Lenny said that he works. Jasmine said she was with him on Thanksgiving. Lenny said he brought her there. Howard said that's great. He said they had a lot of fun then.
Howard started to wrap up again and said they both have nice 90 degree slots. Howard said that Jessica is at a 90. Lenny said she's actually close to a 100. He said Jasmine is like a 94. He said anything above a 90 is great. Howard said he tried measuring his wife's slot and she didn't like that. Howard said she's like a 90. Lenny said he's not done with Robin yet. He said they should have dinner one night. He said she needs to get to know him. Robin said that's never going to happen. Lenny said he'll pay. Robin said she won't go to dinner with him. Howard said he didn't score with Robin but look at the two women he had. Howard said they're very nice.
Lenny said that he will look at the girls sleeping and he just thinks about how guys don't want to wake up to another guy's hairy ass.
Lenny said that he and Ronnie will never run into each other. Howard said they did a song together. Howard said he doesn't think he has it there. Howard said if Robin ever wants to take Lenny up on his dinner offer she knows how to get him. Lenny said he's available to her 24/7. Howard gave Lenny some more plugs and wrapped up. Howard played the song parody he did with Ronnie. Lenny said Robin left during that song. He said it's his mission to get Robin. He said he's never going to give up. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said imagine Robin is Robin Ophelia Dykstra. Robin said that's not going to happen. Howard asked if this fight is going to happen. Robin said it might. Howard said Lenny thinks he's not going to leave the fight until he's dead. Robin said he's always up to something.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Robin looks beautiful lately. Howard said Lenny was quite turned on by her too. The caller asked if Howard heard about the Doc of Rock's daughter. Howard said he did. Howard said she used the N-word somewhere or something. The caller said she was at a shooting and she said to a producer that she was sick of these n-words killing each other and they fired her over that. Howard said he read about that in one of the trade papers.
The caller said he saw Howard's movie and he ended up getting out of a $19,000 a year job and moved up. He said he went to law school and moved up. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard spent a little more time talking about the reporter who used the N-word. Howard wondered what the next career move is after that. Robin said maybe moving on to the Klan's news station.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie was grossed out by the conversation. He asked if he's out there. Ronnie came in and said the girls were hot. Howard said they seemed legit. Ronnie said he was out there giving him all kinds of tips. He said he didn't mind that at all. He said they get along great. Robin asked if he's going to try some of this tips. Ronnie said he's done it all. He said he doesn't have him beat. Ronnie said he thinks they're at the same level. Howard said they're like Jedi.
Howard asked Ronnie if Robin should try out Lenny. Ronnie said he thinks Robin is afraid of him. Robin said she doesn't see Howard spreading his legs. Howard said he kept them closed tight during that interview. Ronnie said he just wants to eat her out and that's it. Ronnie said he'd want it all. He said that's the big difference.
Howard asked Robin if she would try it out if no one would ever know about it. Robin said no. Ronnie said that's a definite no. Robin said she doesn't care. Howard said she's not doing it no matter what. Robin said no. Robin said if he was the last man on earth it wouldn't happen. Ronnie said he thinks she's scared shitless of him. Robin said she's not scared. Ronnie said they can see it in her face. Howard said he hears it in her laugh.
Howard asked if Robin had to choose between Lenny and Charles Manson who would she pick. Robin chose Manson. She said she'd go with Lenny if it was him and Hitler. Howard said alright then. Robin also picked Ronnie over all of them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say he was watching a Sirius commercial over the weekend and they're giving a complete month away and they didn't mention Howard once. Howard said that's smart. He said they have to keep him a secret. Howard said maybe his channel isn't free during the trial. Gary said there are several commercials and one is all about Howard. Howard said he's pretty sure that the company is behind him at this point. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said that the Sirius stock is up. He said it was up over 4.60. Howard said everything seems to be going up in the market.
Howard said he has to give a shout out to Judith Regan. He said she sent him The Godfather Notebook. Howard said it's a giant loose leaf book with notes from Francis Ford Coppola had about The Godfather. Howard said he thinks he likes mob moves and super heroes.
Robin brought up how Fidel Castro died from natural causes. Robin said he had hundreds of assassination attempts on his life and it was natural causes that got him. Robin said they tried everything to get him. Robin said they thought that getting his beard hair to fall out would emasculate him. Robin read about some of the things they tried to do to kill Castro. Robin had a long list and Howard wondered if the Three Stooges were trying to kill him. Robin said one of the final attempts was when they were going to blow him up at a podium but his security people found them before he spoke. Robin said he was 90 years old.
Robin read about President Obama and President Elect Trump commenting on Castro's death. Robin read about what Obama said and what Trump said too. Robin had some comments that the Pope made too saying it was sad news. Howard said it's not sad news. He said that they tried to get rid of that fucking guy and we failed. Howard said our government is so powerful and they weren't able to do it. Robin said they didn't fail with Osama bin Laden. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Ted Cruz and what he said about Fidel Castro. Robin had some audio of Cruz talking about how he hopes they don't see anyone going to his funeral. Robin had some audio of Marco Rubio talking about Castro's death too.
Robin read a story about Reince Priebus saying he's ready to roll back Obama's Cuban deal. Robin had some audio of Priebus talking about that.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump being back home in New York after being in Florida for Thanksgiving. Howard said he was down in Florida too. Howard said they do have a problem with Trump being in the city. He said there are businesses that can't do business. Howard said they say that they have to rope off traffic near Trump Tower. Howard said Trump doesn't want to live in Washington DC. Robin said they can't have this going on for 4 years.
Robin said that President Obama and President Elect Trump are staying in contact as this transition goes on. Robin had some audio of Kelly Ann Conway talking about that.
Robin mentioned she was in London over vacation. Howard said she's always in London. Robin said she does go there a lot. Robin said there was a lot of talk about Steve Bannon. Robin said that they don't pull any punches over there. Robin said they call him a white nationalist and a racist. Robin said it's on TV over there. Robin mentioned some of the stuff she heard on TV over there. Howard said he remembers TV being awful over there. Robin mentioned a dating show where people are completely naked. Howard thought we had that here. Robin said it's different over there so she saw a lot of different penises on TV.
Robin read about how Trump might be changing his stance on some things like building the wall. Howard said of course he is. He said we can't just build a wall. He said all of these candidates have things they can't possibly do.
Robin asked Howard about Mitt Romney vs. Rudy Giuliani. Howard said he can't imagine that Romney should be named secretary of state. Howard said Giuliani should get any position he wants after sticking by Trump during the election.
Robin read a story about the death of Florence Henderson. Robin had Howard play the Brady Bunch theme song. Howard said she was a nice lady. He said they had her on the show. Robin said she was 82 and she died of heart failure. Robin said she was surrounded by her 4 children when she passed away. Robin said she was just at Dancing with the Stars with Maureen McCormick. Robin said they say she looked fine on the show. It was just 3 days before she died.
Robin read about how ethics rules for lawyers in California are going to change. Robin said one thing that will change is a ban on having sex with clients. Robin said there are 17 other states have that ban.
Robin said Star Wars fans are in for a treat. Robin said the tickets for Rogue One go on sale today. Robin said it opens on December 16th. Robin said the movie might sell out so buy your tickets today. Robin read some details about this movie. Howard said it's kind of pompous to release tickets 16 days early. He said maybe they should do that with the Mickey Rourke and Lenny Dykstra fight. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jill Stein and how she wants recounts in several states that Trump won in. Robin said she's raising funds and trying to get votes recounted. Howard said he doesn't see anything wrong with that. He said it's a day and age where it's easy to hack. Howard said he'd like a full investigation. Robin said the people who oversee the vote don't feel that anything was suspicious. Robin said they've declared them final. Howard asked why there are weird voting patterns in the electronic voting machines. Howard said this shouldn't be happening.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump saying that there is voter fraud in states that Hillary Clinton won in. Howard said if that's the case then how can the people have faith in the electoral system. He said it's ridiculous.
Robin said Rosie O'Donnell is defending herself after tweeting out some video questioning if Donald Trump's son Baron has autism. Robin said she claims she shared the video because it was educational. Robin said she claims she wasn't goofing on Trump or his son.
Robin read about today being Cyber Monday and how it's a day when people shop online for the upcoming season. Robin said it's also national French Toast day.
Robin read a story about the Moana movie being number 1 at the box office over the Thanksgiving weekend. Robin said they made $55 million. That led to Howard talking about the ''Ungowa'' in the old Tarzan TV show. Howard said that everything happened with that one word.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian laying by the side of Kanye West at the hospital. Robin said he was rushed to the hospital after acting erratically. Robin said he was depressed and paranoid. Howard said he's acted paranoid for the past few years. Robin said they say it could be more serious than previously reported. Robin said he has been depressed and thinking people are after him for a while now. Robin said they have no word on when he will be released. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he hasn't seen Rob Zombie in a long time. He said he considers him a ''bro'' though. Howard said he's more than that though. He's a ''Brah.'' Howard said Fred is his Brah. He holds his tits.
Howard had a clip of Lenny Dykstra telling them who is on the show today. He said they have Jeffrey Dean Morgan coming in. Howard said there's a guy Robin wants to sleep with. Robin said she's upset tat he's coming in today. She said she doesn't want to see him. She said if he comes in as Negan one of them is going to have to go.
Howard said Robin sounds sick. Robin said she's just stuffy. Howard said he told her she has to chill out and not go away. Howard said she gets sick every time. He said she is sick. Robin said she is not sick. Howard said she will be. Howard said she's impossible. Robin said it was probably from the singing she did yesterday. Howard said he will get to that.
Howard played a song parody about Robin getting a cold from going on vacation. He said she goes and gets charged up from running around. He said she should stay home. Robin said it was very damp over there in London. Howard said he sees what's going on.
Howard said he sat on his fat ass the entire vacation. Robin said if she went to Florida she would have gotten sick. Howard said that's right, stay home. Howard said he went on one walk while he was on vacation. He said that's how he maintains his health. He said Robin wears herself out.
Howard said he was complaining about Aretha Franklin's long National Anthem. He said it was 4 minutes long and it was too much. He said Robin did one that was just 2 minutes. Howard played some of that awful performance. Howard laughed as Robin was singing. Howard said she's going on like Aretha but she gets it done in half the time.
Howard said this nation has been through a tough election and we're healing. Robin was still singing. Howard said she's also playing piano. Howard said Trump and Hillary are making out to this. Howard said they play this every morning at Guantanamo. Howard said the left, right and alt are all hanging themselves. He said ISIS just surrendered. Howard said Jill Stein is asking to start the song again.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to an internet radio show with fake Perez Hilton clips. They had Perez getting blown and the host of the show was praying for him to get out of that situation. The host said she had to hang up because the guy was demonic.
Howard said Tom Chiusano used to have to take them off the air and that's what that woman had to do with that call.
Howard took another call from a guy who said Robin is definitely sick. Howard said she is. Howard said he likes that she said her apartment is very dry. The caller asked if they have the email there because he's wondering how many girls were turned on by Lenny. Howard said he knows exactly how many it was. He said it's zero. Howard said he talked to the two girls who came in and they swear they did it with Lenny. Howard said the one girl didn't want her face on the internet though. Howard said that makes him believe that it was a real thing.
The caller said he thinks Robin went to the bathroom to check to see how wet she was. Robin said that was dry too. Howard played another song parody that Lenny sang for them about licking pussy. Howard said he was busy yesterday.
Howard took a call from a guy whose phone cut out for a little bit. The caller said the girls were fake yesterday. He said if they were real he wants Shuli to do an in depth thing. Howard said he's pretty sure they were real. Robin said she'd have to see it happening live to believe it. Howard said they can probably arrange that. The caller said he can tell they were fake. Howard said the guys checked into it and vetted them and they think it was real. The caller said it can't be.
Howard played a message of hope from Lenny Dykstra about girls who have leaky buttholes. He told them to get the fuck out of here and follow the exit signs.
Howard said Tony Daniels cut a song about Lenny Dykstra. He said he thought it was a particularly good song. Howard played the song and it was to the tune of ''Eleanor Rigby'' about Lenny wanting to lick a woman's pee hole.
Howard said he says he's going to wear Robin down. He said he just might do it. Howard said Sal told him that Lenny didn't stop talking about Robin. He said he really is interested in proving to her that he's good at it. Howard said she has to do it with him.
Howard had Sal come in to tell Robin. Sal came in and said that it's no joke. He said when he was doing the songs he was asking if he thinks he can fuck Robin. Sal said he told him that he heard her on the air and he's not sure. He said Lenny asked if it's because he's white. Sal laughed. Howard did too. Sal said Lenny was saying he's going to fuck Robin and get her. Howard asked if they have to call the cops. Howard said there has to be some level of interest from Robin. Robin said she could care less. Howard said that's too bad. He said he's so motivated. Robin said the needle doesn't move a bit.
Howard asked if they have the outtakes of Lenny talking about that. Sal said they might have a few. Howard said that was interesting yesterday. Howard said he thought the girls were real. Sal said he did too but he did question a few things. He said they looked similar and dressed the same. He said it reminds him of some places he's been to in the past. He said he's 50/50 on it. Robin said Sal is confused about everything.
Jason came in and said that he spent 40 minutes on the phone with the girls. He said he's skeptical. He said he believed Jessica especially. He said you just talk to someone and the story comes out naturally. Howard said he pulled her aside and asked her for the scoop. He said she was saying it's a real thing. He said her dad is a big fan of the show and she seemed sincere. Jason said that she was talking about how her boss was doing this and she was talking about how awkward it was. He said he wasn't there to witness this but he's thinking it could be true.
Jason also thinks that Robin will go for it eventually. Robin said he's out of his mind. Jason said Robin has dated some wild people. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and asked what this chick's name is. Robin said it's Lorde. Howard said it's a good song. Howard said Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays Negan on The Walking Dead. Howard said he had to meet him. He said he scared the shit out of him. Howard said he was a big fan of his on The Good Wife. Howard said he was like the nicest guy on that show. Jeffrey said it's kind of a flip flop.
Howard said he has to ask a question. He asked about Andrew Lincoln and if he's Australian or something. Jeff said he's British. He said he talks with that accent on the set and he'll slip into the British accent. Howard asked if Andrew has to stay in character. Jeff said he does. He said he likes to stay under his skin like their characters. Howard asked if he only answers to his name on set. Jeff said it's not like that. He said he just puts himself in this place where he doesn't want to fuck around. Howard asked if he picks on him about that. Jeff said he does. He said he likes to get him screaming and swearing.
Howard said it must be confusing with people like that. He said it's like Daniel Day Lewis staying in character as Lincoln. Jeff said that's part of the process for some people. He said it's mostly with the European actors. Howard said he admires how they switch accents. Jeff said Andrew's American accent is better than his.
Howard said The Walking Dead is a phenom. Howard said Jeff comes into shows as they're doing okay. Howard said it's a tough position to come into a successful show like that. Jeff said if the story doesn't work then he might take the blame. Howard said he felt that way too. Howard said when he went to America's Got Talent he thought it would tank and he'd be the asshole. Howard said the show had been on too long already. Howard asked if Jeff was afraid that he was going to fuck up the show. Jeff said the role is a big, ballsy role. Howard said it really is. Howard said he doesn't think he could do that. Jeff said he has to talk a lot. He said Negan talks a lot and Rick grunts. He said it's a lot of monologue. He said he gets pissy when he has to talk that much.
Howard said Jeff was on The Good Wife and while he was on the show he was contacted and asked to play a role on The Walking Dead but they didn't say which one. Howard asked what that's all about. Jeff said everything on that show his shrouded in secrecy. He said it's awful for him because he has so much to say. Howard said they only get the script 48 hours ahead of time. Howard asked if he can memorize all of that in such short time. Jeff said he got the call for that role and he was so glad he didn't have to audition for it. He said ever since he did Grey's Anatomy he hasn't had to audition for anything. Howard said that has to be great. Jeff said that was taking a chance on their part. He said he had been seen in The Good Wife or Grey's Anatomy.
Howard asked if he knew what he was going to play. Jeff said he knew it was Negan based on the comic book and where they were in the story. He said a fan came up to him and said they had just introduced the character. He said that was 5 years ago. Howard asked if he was at Comic-Con for Watchmen. Jeff said he's been going for a while. Howard said it's great that he was picked for the role like that. Jeff said if you look for it you can find him playing a bad guy in things. He said he's not sure if they had seen him in that. He said he knows Kirkman had seen him in a show that he liked.
Howard said Jeff said that Negan thinks of himself as a good guy. Jeff said he did. Howard said he doesn't see himself as a bad man. He said that's interesting to him. Robin said she hears that from other actors too about the people they're playing. Robin wondered what he found about Negan. Jeff said if you put yourself in the world of that show you see that they all have done bad things. He said he killed a couple of people with a baseball bat but Ricks's people killed 30 people while they slept. He said it's not so bad.
Howard asked if Jeff gets a lot of negative stuff from the fans. Jeff said they do. He said they puff up their chests around him and he's like ''Fuuuuck.'' Jeff said he gets really weird fan mail from female fans. He said they want to be beat up on and it's crazy shit.
Howard said he thinks they added a lot of new energy in the show. Howard said it's cool. Howard said this to him is maybe a career changer. Howard said he's one of those guys that his father told him about. He said he didn't give a shit about acting. Howard said he went to L.A. and he was 18 or 19. Jeff said he was about 20. He said he wanted to be an artist. He said he painted. Howard asked what he painted. Jeff said he did pastels and he painted all kinds of things. He said he would sell his paintings at his friend's rock shows in Seattle.
Howard said Jeff was going to be a basketball player. Jeff said he's 6'1'' and he wasn't good enough to be a pro. He said in his head he was. Howard asked if he had an accident. Jeff said he got the shit kicked out of him at college. He said he was coming home from practice one day and some guys pulled over. He said they beat the shit out of him and maybe he didn't fit in at the time. He said it was kind of a backwards town. He said they pulled a knife on him and he hurt his knee playing ball. He said he had high hopes of coming back. He said he got the knife from the guy and put it through their forearm. He said there was like 5 guys there. Jeff said they took off after that. Jeff said the team went looking for them. He said he left college and went to New York. Howard said this is kind of like Footloose. He said that they tried to take them on and he got one of them. He said that's kind of cool.
Howard said Jeff quit college and then what. Jeff said he quit and his parents weren't happy. He said he was hanging out with his friends in Seattle. He said he was hanging out with the guys from Mother Love Bone. Howard said Grohl must have been around. Jeff said that wasn't happening yet. He said that the guys from Alice in Chains and Mother Love Bone were around. He said they'd all hang out in a bar together. Howard said Jeff tried to play but he sucked. Jeff said he had the look but he wasn't able to play.
Howard asked if he hung out with Chris Cornell. Jeff said he did meet him. He said they go back a long way with his first wife.
Howard asked if he ever thought about acting at all. Jeff said at that point no. Howard said someone suggested that he audition for a Roger Corman movie. Jeff said he had a friend who had a connection with a casting director. She got him an audition and one of the first things he did was that. Jeff said that turned out to be awesome.
Jeff said he got a role in a Roger Corman movie and he was kind of like a Negan type. He said he played a pimp. He said he remembers driving down Hollywood Boulevard in a convertible filming a role. He said he figured he had it and it was a done deal. Howard said that must have been great for his parents to hear. He said they must have been thrilled.
Howard asked about him being fired by his manager. Jeff said he was told he was too old at 37. He said she told him that he got 3 shows in a row after that. Howard asked if he has run into her after that. Jeff said he has. He said that she dropped another guy who does a ton of huge movies. Jeff said he got Grey's Anatomy, Supernatural and Weeds the day after she fired him. He said he got a new manager after that. Howard said he loves this story. He said he got 3 jobs after that. Jeff said Grey's really changed his career. He said he got P.S. I Love You and then Watchmen after that. He said that was a great job too. He said that's when he first got into the comic book world.
Howard asked Jeff about running into that manager after she dropped him. Jeff said he ran into her at a movie screening and he told the story in a magazine and she was pissed about that. He said she's going to be really thrilled about this interview.
Howard said they killed off his character on Supernatural. Jeff said fans were pissed. He said it was year 2 of the show and then the show exploded. He said a year later he had done Watchmen and he got a call about bringing him back. He said that he wondered how they were going to do that. He said they had Katie Heigel having a brain tumor in the show and that's how they brought him back. Howard said they had her on and she was talking about how upset she is about what she said about Seth Rogen. Jeff said she was great to work with.
Howard asked Jeff about being hired for Walking Dead and getting Negan. He said that he had to memorize that whole speech. Jeff said he did. Howard asked if he watches his own work. Jeff said not usually but this time he did. Howard asked if he wishes he had more time to think about the character. Jeff said that's the world of TV. He said he knew enough about the character not to be totally blind going in.
Howard asked if he was freaked out going in. Jeff said the cast was very welcoming. He said off camera they're all in tears. He said they shot for 2 nights doing that scene. He said he was kind of freaking out until it was happening. Howard asked how hard it is to remember the lines. Jeff said he can't read them with his wife. He said his wife can memorize all of the lines before he can memorize his own. He said he just walked around his farm looking at the lines.
Howard asked about his farm and the Alpacas he has. Jeff said they have them and they sheer them once a year to sell the wool. He said he has a no kill farm. Howard asked if he's a vegetarian. Jeff said he's not but the cattle there are safe. He said they're really neat animals. He said he has Skyland Cattle and they're amazing.
Howard asked if he will eat a steak at a restaurant. Jeff said he will. He said he'll eat the guys he doesn't know. Howard asked what else he has there. Jeff said he has more Alpaca coming in. He said they have cats, chicken and dogs and ducks too. Howard said he should see what's going on at his house. He has cats. Jeff said that's awesome too.
Howard said when he was doing Weeds did he date Mary Louise Parker. Jeff said they did. He said they almost got married. He said when that was over he was invited on a blind date and he met his wife.
Howard asked Jeff about shooting The Walking Dead and if they shoot two versions. Jeff said they do. He said they shoot some with the cursing and some without. Jeff said in the graphic novel his character loves the word ''fuck'' so they shoot that take. He said they do both. He said that it's a pain in the ass.
Howard said he watched last night's episode but he wasn't in that. Jeff said he's big in the mid season finale. Howard said he is really good in the show. Jeff said it's fun to do. Howard said he thought he was great in The Good Wife too. Jeff said Julianna got him into that. He said she lives upstate too. Howard said Jeff and Paul Rudd own a candy store up there. Jeff said that's a whole other thing. Howard said Jeff goes up there when he's not working. Howard asked who else is up there. Jeff said they all get together at times. He said that he's kind of put painting aside for now. He said he has a kid so he spends time with the kid. Jeff said the farm takes up a lot of his time. He said he has about 100 acres. Howard said that's awesome. Jeff said it used to be a thoroughbred farm. He said he has dirt bikes and side by sides and all of that stuff too. He said he does man stuff up there. Howard asked if Paul Rudd does man stuff. Jeff said his stuff is less manly. He laughed.
Howard asked if it's not so expensive up there. Jeff said it's not bad. He said they have a nice farmhouse that his wife fixed up. He said they bough some other property and they have 3 houses. He said they have some barns too. He said he has a pool too for his son.
Howard said Jeff's wife was on One Tree Hill. Jeff said he's one lucky dude. He said she still looks great. Howard said Paul and Jeff were walking through town and they saw a candy store that was going to shut down and they wanted to keep it open so they bought it. Jeff said this guy was the first guy he met in Rhinebeck and he loved him. He said he passed away 2 and a half years ago. He said they were out to dinner one night and they decided to keep the store open. He said they bought it and they have a guy named John Traver running it. He said the guy has been working there since he was 15. Howard asked if they have certain types of candy. Jeff said he's sure they have it all. He said they are making money with it too. He said between Ant Man and Negan they're doing okay. Howard asked if they have candy cigarettes there. Jeff said they do. He said that's the one his kid wants too. He said that's been a lot of fun. He said his wife was just there yesterday decorating it for Christmas.
Howard asked if the employees there want raises all the time. Jeff said they get bonuses based on how the store does. He said they're doing just fine.
Howard asked if he goes to the store a lot. Jeff said that he stops in. He said he was just there the other day. He said Paul was there doing a radio show from the store.
Howard asked if he's ever had to fire anyone. Jeff said John handles that. He said they hire a lot of high school kids and it's kind of a high school hang out kind of place. He said it's been a lot of fun.
Howard asked how often he gets up there. Jeff said his son is in school full time up there so he has to go up there. He said his son is in school about 40 minutes from where they live. He said he's there as much as he can be. He said his son used to go to jobs with him. He said the farm thing isn't conducive to going away a lot. He said that his wife gets resentful about it. Especially when he gets 6 more Alpaca. Howard said he wants to see the Alpaca. Jeff said they all scream and spit at you when you sheer them once a year.
Howard asked Jeff about working with Julianna on the Good Wife. Howard said back then he must have been able to fuck any woman he wanted. Jeff said he probably could have done okay but you work 16 hour days. He said he's 50 now and he goes home and goes to bed when he's done. He said he's also married now. Howard said his wife is 16 years younger than him. Jeff said she is and she's smarter and wiser than him. Howard asked if he worries about not being able to keep up with her. Jeff said he does. He said he goes home and he worries. Howard said he has a lot to do. Jeff said he knows she rolls her eyes at him but she has patience with him. He said he's lucky.
Howard said The Walking Dead is going on and he can't talk about how long he's committed to it. Jeff said he knows he'll be around for season 8. Howard said he knows he's in the finale. Jeff said the whole season is done. He said they finished a week ago. He said he watched most of the first episode back. Howard said he had to watch it because it was all him. Jeff said that's why he wouldn't want to watch it. Jeff said he will second guess his performance if he watches it. He said that it can make him nuts. Howard asked if he has ever asked them to get him the script a couple of weeks ahead. Jeff said he has. He said that the schedule is weird. He said they think they're going to take off or leave town or something. Howard said they must be secretive because they don't want to spoil anything. Jeff said he was a fan of the show and he's been watching it. Howard asked if they were really crying at the end of some of the characters roles. Jeff said they were. He said they're so tight on that show.
Howard said he loved when he bashed those heads in on the show. Robin asked what he was really hitting. Jeff said that Greg Nicotero creates those things and it's realistic. Howard said they had some really wild stuff. Jeff said they shot some stuff that was much grosser. He said they might put it on the DVD. Howard said he must have had a good negotiation. Jeff said he was okay. He said just to be a part of the show for him was good. Howard said don't talk like that. Howard said it's so great when they just pick you to be a part of the show. Jeff said it went so fast that he only had a couple of days to think about it.
Howard said there was a video online that leaked with Maggie getting her head smashed. Jeff said he did kill shots with everyone. He said they were afraid that something would get leaked. He said there are people whose sole purpose is to spoil the show. He said that there is a web site where people try to spoil it.
Howard asked if he's gone on Talking Dead too. Jeff said he did. Howard asked what the fuck is going on there. Howard said he feels like a douche watching the show. Jeff said he felt like a douche being on it. Robin said they talked about how Chris Hardwick was telling everyone they'd be alright. Howard said we know it's TV characters.
Howard said this is a good situation for Jeff to be in. Howard said he worked with Julianna Margulies on The Good Wife. Howard said he used to goof on her for turning down that big money for staying on E.R. Howard said she looks good. Jeff said she's great. He said he did a lot of love scenes with her. Howard asked if he ever got wood with her. Jeff said no. He said it's not easy to get wood on set. Howard said that's not his story. Howard said he had wood in every scene with a woman on his movie. Jeff asked how old he was when he did that. Howard said he was like 43. Jeff said that's pretty good then.
Howard said Jeff is Negan and he's killing it. Howard said he applauds this role. Robin said that the people on the show are so beloved. Howard said it was awesome when he smashed the red headed guy's head. Howard said it played well. He said he's playing the role just right. Jeff said it's a tough role to play. He said he's trying not to over do it. Howard said Jeff kind of dresses like Negan too. Howard asked if he's becoming Negan. He said he might become so crazy he becomes Negan. Jeff said his son would love it. He said his son is 6 and he loves it. He said he's not watching the show but he's aware of him. He said one day he saw his son dressed up like Negan with a Lucille baseball bat coming out of the chicken coupe.. He said he asked what he was doing in there. He was playing Negan and knocking the hens off their perches playing Eenie meanie minie mo with them. He said the hens were fine though.
Howard asked Jeff about going to Comic-Con and those kind of things. Jeff said that he's done a few of those. He said that sometimes he wants to shoot himself after that. He said it can be kind of strange. Howard said he heard he had a woman yell at him thinking he was like Negan on the show. Jeff said Norman Reedus has some great stories about that. Howard said he must be banging a ton of broads. Jeff said he thinks he's doing fine. He said he's not the youngest guy either so he has to go home to sleep. Howard asked if he comes up to hang out in upstate New York. Jeff said Norman bought a house in the area up there. He said they all ride motorcycles together. He said they ride down in Georgia too. He said Norman has like 100 bikes. He said he hasn't come to the candy store yet though.
Howard asked if he hangs out with Andrew Lincoln. Jeff said he has a couple of kids so he doesn't have a lot of time to hang.
Howard said he wants to work on The Walking Dead and get a place in Rhinebeck. He said he doesn't want to ride motorcycles though. Howard said it sounds like Jeff is having fun. Jeff said he's living the dream right now.
Howard said he can't believe he didn't get wood with Julianna. He said she must be insulted by that. Jeff said maybe she is now that he thinks about it.
Howard asked if Jeff can kill Carl as Negan. He said it's time to get rid of him already. Jeff said he thought they were going to cut the kid's arm off in that one episode. Robin said he already lost an eye.
Howard asked Jeff if he has to take care of the kid when his wife is working. Jeff said he does. He said she did a show in L.A. and he had to take care of his son. He said they don't have a nanny or anything up there. Howard asked Jeff about doing full time child care. Howard asked what he makes for dinner. Jeff said his son is a big pasta guy so they eat a lot of pasta. Howard said that's something. He said he's not a narcissistic actor. Jeff said he puts a lot on Hillary when he's working so he wants to do his part. He said his son is in school all day and he's gone from 7:30 until about 4. He said they have to drive him there but that's fine.
Howard said Jeff is doing a great job on The Walking Dead. Howard said it's one of his favorite shows. Robin said it's his favorite. Howard said it is. He said he hopes he's in the last two episodes. Jeff said he is. Howard said at some point Rick has to kill Negan. Robin said the moment he showed up you know he has to be taken out. Jeff said that's right. He said that you never know who is going to take who out though. Howard said he could get a spin off show.
Howard said Jeff didn't even want to be an actor. He said Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the guy. Robin asked why he has 3 names. Jeff said there was a Jeff Morgan in SAG so he had to throw in all 3. Howard gave him some plugs for The Walking Dead. Howard said they don't even need a plug. Howard said they have to have like 30 million people watching. Jeff said the numbers are big. He said it's fun to be on a show that people watch. He said he's been on some that people don't watch. Howard thanked him for coming in and went to break. As they went to break they played John Mellencamp doing a medley of songs in the Howard Stern Show studio.
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After the commercial Howard said he's all caught up now. He said Jeffrey was a cool guy. Robin said this is why she doesn't want to meet him. She said that she has to suspend disbelief. Howard told her to stop it.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden. Tommy said when Greg Gutfeld was on they talked about Howard on The Five. Howard said he didn't see that. Tommy said it was one of those bad pictures they put up on the screen. Howard said he saw that Trump was complaining about pictures they use of him. Howard said there are pictures of him that are flattering but they don't use those. Howard said when he walks the red carpet they take pictures from down low. Howard said he's a tall man and the photographers are shooting up because they're shorter. Howard said he looks horrible. He said he's no beauty. He said pictures taken from above aren't so bad. Tommy said he's not bad looking. Howard said he's not great looking. Tommy said he's not bad. Howard thanked him for that and said he'd go out with him. Tommy said the picture was on his right side and it was from below.
Howard said JD sends him clips of people talking about him on TV. He said he got one yesterday and it was a black radio show on TV or something like that. Howard said his picture was up for some reason. JD said they were doing a flashback Friday thing with pictures from high school. Howard said this one woman on the show isn't the biggest beauty. He said she threw in a dig at him about how ugly he is. Howard said his picture isn't that great but think of something original. Howard said this woman is no beauty herself. Howard played a clip of the hosts talking about him. The woman said Howard has always had that little hit of ugly. Howard said ''Guess what bitch, I'm never jerking off to you either.'' Howard said she probably had a middle class life and she's putting on a voice like Sal would put on. Howard said he got all offended. Howard said it's enough with him being called ugly.
Robin asked why JD would even send him that clip. Howard played it again and goofed on the voice the woman was putting on. Howard said that's right, he got hit by the ugly stick. Howard said she'd fuck him in a minute if she met him. Howard did more of his impression of her asking what that voice is. Howard said black women have made strides to get away from that and she's carrying it on.
Tommy mentioned that Jamie Foxx does a commercial and fucks up some words too. Howard said that's enough of Tommy. He said that guy gets him riled up. Howard continued to do the voice of this woman who was commenting on his looks.
Howard said he's never heard an affect like that in his life. Howard said those guy's ears were ready to bleed from that. Howard played the clip again. He said the woman is on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Robin said she doesn't recognize the voice. Howard did his impression of her for a few more seconds. Howard asked who is watching that show Dish Nation. Howard said the guys just mentioned his name and the woman lets out that squeal. Robin said she went overboard with that.
Howard said they get it, he's ugly. Howard said just talk like a normal person. He said no one talks like that. Howard said the days of speaking like that are long gone. He said you don't have to do that. Howard played the clip again and continued to goof on the way she was speaking. Howard asked what that is.
Howard said there are a lot of bad pictures of him floating around. Howard said he looks like he was hit with Negan's bat. He said he's just a mess. Robin said it's hard unless you're blessed to get a good picture. Howard said he's so sorry he's not good looking. Howard said the three of them are beauties.
Howard said he put on FOX News this morning. He said that he was watching Kristin Fisher and she was out in the field. Howard said she should be an anchor. Howard said in the field they don't show body shots. Howard said she should be in the studio. Howard said she's so hot that you don't even know what she's saying. Howard said if Roger Ailes was there he'd have her in the studio as an anchor. Howard said they should have him there as a consultant.
Howard said he's going to talk like that women who was goofing on his looks for the rest of the show. He did that for a few seconds but stopped quickly. Howard wondered why anyone would want to talk like that. Howard said slavery is the biggest mark against us. He said you go to a communist country and say something and they just bring up what we did with slavery and the Indians. Howard said that all of that shit aside we have a pretty great country. Robin said we're going to be great again. Howard said any day now.
Howard said he watched The Walking Dead last night. He went to sleep at like 8:30 and then he was up at 1 in the morning. He said he ate a green apple and he watched some Supergirl. Howard said he can't stop watching it but it's not very good. Howard said Supergirl, Flash and Green Arrow are teaming up. Robin said she's having some trouble with the shows. Howard said they're all the same show. She hasn't even bothered with Supergirl.
Howard said he got a note saying Dish Nation got a .7 rating in August. Howard said that's good to know.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that douche bag Simon Cowell has a new show coming out for the holidays. Howard said he doesn't care. She said he's desperate. Howard said the war is over. Howard said he doesn't like Simon. He said he lied to his face about trying to take his job. Howard said he wouldn't trust him as far as he could throw him. Howard said he has no talent. He said his talent is picking talent as a judge. Howard said he has some talent himself. Howard talked like that Dish Nation woman.
Howard said Simon's talent is telling people they have no talent. Mariann said he's just repeating a show. Howard said he's got it. Mariann said Bobo is hanging on by a thread. She said he's studying for an hour a day. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said he got a note saying that JD has a clip of Kristin Fisher discussing the term ''Jag off'' on FOX News. Howard played the clip and she didn't even know how to pronounce it. Her co-hosts didn't talk about it. Howard said that's what you do to your husband when you're on your period. Howard said he'll put it in a sentence. Howard said he jags off to Kristin Fisher on FOX News. Howard said she can't be an anchor if she doesn't know what that means.
Howard read some notes about Kristin and how she stared with FOX last year. Howard said he has never sexually harassed a woman in his life but the last thing he would ask is to see a bra collection. He said that's what they claim Roger Ailes did. Howard said that's just a loser thing to ask.
Howard read that Kristin's parents are both NASA astronauts. Howard said her mother was the first mother to fly in space. Howard said she really loved her. Howard said she was 15 months old when her mother was in space. Howard said he has a problem with that. Howard said she grew up in Houston and graduated from his alma mater Boston University. Howard read more notes about her and what she's done in her life. Howard said she's married and she won an Emmy.
Gary said when he was on the show the first time he just said he was born with a speech condition and no one ever tried to do anything for him. Howard asked why they don't look into that. Howard said you'd think that would be the parent's life mission to find out what's going on.
Robin asked if they have ever met Elephant Boy's parents. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said they met Beetlejuice's mom and she was very nice. Howard said he thinks Elephant Boy has a brother who had a speech thing. Gary said it was like Fred's but not as bad. He said it's very similar.
Howard said he has an Underdog Lady update. He said Shuli talked to her about thanksgiving and it might be his favorite conversation ever. Howard played the clip and Underdog was talking about the kind of feast she was having and that she was just going to have it for herself. Howard said Shuli asked her to break it down for him. She said she's having Tuna and Roast Beef and then Pork. She said it's bacon and cocktail sausages. Then she has chicken breast and a kaiser roll and some grape juice. She also talked about eating raisins and a slice of cake. Robin said that's a very non-traditional meal. Robin asked if she's ever heard of a vegetable. Howard said she's killing a chicken, cow, pig and splash it down with a raisin. Howard said it's like Noah's ark in her belly.
Howard said Elephant Boy's doctor is on the phone. He took a call from the guys in the back and one of the guys was doing a mumbling voice talking to Howard about the pacemaker.
Robin said she looked up the term Jag Off and it says it's a term for calling someone a name and it's British in origin. Howard got back to Underdog Lady.
Howard played another clip of Underdog talking about Thanksgiving and how it moves into the Christmas holiday. Howard said he loves how she killed all of those different animals for her meal. Howard said it's wild. He said she had everything but a dragon. Robin said she loves that she had tuna to start it off. She said that's a meal in itself.
Howard asked if Snoop Dogg is coming in anytime soon. Gary said nothing is booked. Howard said Kanye West had some kind of melt down on stage and Snoop Dogg commented on it. Howard played a clip of Kanye ranting and Snoop commenting on his rant. Snoop said he's a crazy nigga. He said he smokes weed and weed don't make you do that. He wondered what Kanye is on. Howard said he felt Snoop was keeping it real in that clip. He said he likes when people keep it real. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he's going to have this guy locked up. He asked if he wants to win some money. He had hung up already.
Howard took a call from a guy, Justin, who asked if they have heard anything from Mick the Nerd lately. Howard said he actually does have an update. Howard said Mick is an interesting guy. Howard said Wolfie met him at a Comic-Con situation. Howard said he's an older guy still living at home with his parents. Howard said Mick says his job is to take care of his parent's garden. Howard said Jason went up there and the garden is a pile of dirt with a metal bed frame with weeds growing through it. Howard showed Robin a pictures. Howard said they have to put this up on the web. Howard said this is what Mick is taking care of. He said it's a pile of shit. Robin said it looks like something from The Walking Dead.
Howard said Mick has a Christmas tree too. Robin said it looks like something from Charlie Brown. Howard said he does not have a green thumb.
Howard said Mick is still living at home and working on his comic book. Howard said it's all stick figures. Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Mick about what's going on with his search for work. Mick said he's still working on his comic book. Wolfie asked about calling one day at 1 in the afternoon and how he was still sleeping. Mick said he was really tired that day.
Howard said if Justin hangs in there he'll play a game with him. Howard said they chopped up some Mick clips and made a phony phone call. Howard played the call they made to a garden store where he was asking about a job. Mick was saying he's technically a gardener now. He was asking for $8 an hour. They said they can do better than minimum wage. They had Mick telling the guy some weird stuff. The guy said he doesn't have any openings right now. They had Mick say ''fuck this'' and that he reads a lot of porn comics. The guy tanked him for calling and hung up.
Howard had a Mick the Nerd Either/Or game to play with Justin. Howard said that they have $500 to give away thanks to the people at The Man in the High Castle which is on Amazon Prime.
Howard asked Justin what he does. He said he's a driver for a service that picks up donations for veterans. Robin said he's serving the people who served which is very nice.
Howard said they're going to have a practice round first. Howard said this doesn't count. Howard said they asked Mick if he would like to have sex with a girl or be the first to see the new Star Wars movie. Justin said he thinks he'll pick the Star Wars movie. Howard played Mick's answer and Mick picked having sex with a girl. He said the new Star Wars movies are a crap shoot.
Howard said they asked Mick if he would rather have a life long career or meet a dragon. Justin said he's going to go with meeting the dragon. Howard played Mick's answer and he asked if he would be friends with the dragon. They weren't sure so Mick picked the life long career.
Howard said Justin got one wrong. He has to get 3 right. Howard said they asked Mick if he would rather finger a girl or play your favorite computer game with her. Justin said that he's going to go with fingering the girl. Howard said you would think so. Howard asked if Robin hates that term ''fingering.'' Robin said it doesn't bother her. She said the fingering thing is nice if it's done at the right time. Howard said some women don't like it. Howard played Mick's answer and he picked the fingering thing. Howard said Justin is on the board now. He got one right. Howard asked Robin if she would rather have Lenny Dykstra or Mick go down on her. Robin asked if she can kill herself. Howard said she has to pick one. Robin picked Mick.
Howard said they asked Mick if he would rather get a blow job from Scarlett Johansson or own a piece of the Millennium Falcon. Justin said he's going to go with the blow job from Scarlett. Howard said he must be right on this one. Howard played Mick's answer and Mick said Scarlett is married so he'd go with the Millennium Falcon. Howard asked what kind of logic that is.
Howard said Justin has to get the next two right. He said he thought he knew Mick but he doesn't. Howard said they asked Mick if he would rather have a 9 inch penis or an actual light saber. Justin said light saber. Howard played Mick's answer and it was the wrong one. He started over and Mick picked the light saber.
Howard said it comes down to one question. He said that they asked Mick if George Takei or William Shatner is better. Justin said he'll go with George. Howard asked what his reasoning is. Justin had nothing. Howard said that's the way to play. Howard played Mick's answer which was ''George Takei.'' Justin won the 500 bucks.
Howard said Mick has never had a happy ending but Justin just did. Justin said he's going to use the money to buy something nice for his wife. Howard said that's nice. Howard put Justin on hold to get his prize.
Howard wrapped up the game and said goodbye to Justin. Howard said they all wave goodbye for 10 minutes while the credits roll. They played a Mick the Nerd clip as they went to break. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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King asked if Howard buys all black underwear. Howard said he does. He said he has some purple ones too though. He said he likes them but he wonders if people at the gym think he's nuts. Howard said they might think he's outrageous with his color choice. Howard said black is skid mark resistant. Howard said he doesn't wash his own stuff. He said in college he washed his own.
Howard said he has to go. He had to move on to something else. Howard said he has something about JD to talk about. King had nothing to add so Howard let him go.
Howard said it was a year ago this week that JD revealed he didn't wash his sheets. Howard said he hadn't washed them in a year and he admitted it to one of the guys. He said they don't keep quiet about that stuff. Robin asked if he had an annual washing of the sheets or did he just never wash them. Howard said they'll review.
Howard played a clip of JD talking about why he'd even admit to that. Howard played the clip and JD was talking about how he's an idiot for just admitting it. JD didn't want to get into it. Howard was talking to JD about how many times he's jerked off or sat on the sheets with his naked ass.
Howard said in this next clip JD tried to explain. In that clip JD was trying to get it out. Then he had another clip of JD lashing out at them for bringing it up.
Howard said advertisers and fans sent new sheets to replace the dirty ones. Howard said they got a lot of great song parodies from people like Psych. He played his song parody and then another one.
Howard asked JD how often he changes them now. JD said every week or two weeks. Howard asked how many sheets he owns. JD said he thinks they have 2 or 3. Howard asked if he understands why it's wrong not to. JD said he does. He said disgusting things can be on the bed. Howard said it sounds like he doesn't believe it. JD said he just doesn't want to discuss it. Howard asked if he has nay other gross habits. JD said no. Howard said you know he's picking his nose or something. Howard asked if he swears that he has washed his sheets in the past week. JD said he has. He said they had friends over and they washed their sheets too.
Howard asked JD how they wash sheets. JD said they take them to the laundry and put them in the washer and put soap in them and let the washer go. Howard played a JD song parody about not cleaning his sheets.
Howard asked if JD and his girlfriend wash sheets together. JD said they have recently. Howard asked if he still jerks off into his shirts. JD said he does not. Howard asked when that anniversary is coming up. JD said he can't wait to re-live that. Howard said he would love to observe JD washing his sheets. Robin asked if they really do it together. JD said one of them takes them off and then they go to the laundry. Robin asked who goes to collect them. JD said he does. Robin asked who makes the bed. JD said one of them does.
Howard asked JD who initiates sex. JD said he's not getting into it. JD said they both have their things. Howard asked what his signal is. He said he probably just pulls down his underwear and starts jerking off. JD laughed. Howard asked how he signals. JD said he wishes not to discuss this. Howard asked who knows what the fuck goes on there. Howard played another song parody about his filthy sheets.
Howard said JD is a kinky guy so he doesn't see him being gentle in bed. Robin said he's probably on his best behavior. Howard asked if JD is still DaBadAss online. JD said he is not.
Howard said JD's girlfriend is on Skype right now. Howard said she's ready to speak to them. Howard said it's in honor of the anniversary. Howard picked up and they had her (one of the guys in the back) voice disguised. Howard said it's great to have her on the show. Howard asked her what it's like to have sex with JD. She said it's gross and then she said that she would rather not be there so she has to drink first. JD's girlfriend was talking about how she loves JD and he loves her. She said he is kind of a mush mouth so it's hard to understand. She said JD slurps like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly when they eat. She said that JD always leaves her little surprises like a double coiler in the toilet this morning. She said his number 2s are actually number 4s.
Howard asked JD if he's going to propose to her. JD said he's not going to get into that either. Howard asked JD's girlfriend if she's thinking about having children with JD. She said she thinks JD said he wants to have kids but he's very hard to understand. She dozed off for a few seconds and had a nightmare about JD that woke her up. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard played another song parody about JD's dirty sheets. Howard asked how Thanksgiving went with JD and his girl. JD said she met his dad and some other people. He said they all like each other. Howard said if he could only have a camera. Robin asked what they did. JD said they did a few things and saw a few different people. Howard asked if he saw his father. JD said yes. He said they went to some other person's house. Howard asked JD if he was nervous that some people might bring up things that would embarrass him. JD said he was more worried about political discussions. Howard asked if JD is a Hillary supporter. JD said they are. He said his dad is a conservative. He said he's not sure if he voted for Trump. Howard asked if his dad approved of his girl. JD said he's happy to see how happy he is and he likes her. Howard asked if everything was appropriate. JD said yes.
Howard asked how dinner was at the relative's house. JD said it was fine. He said it was his dad's wife's relatives that they were at. Howard asked if anything embarrassing happened. JD said no. Howard said he needs a tape of this. He asked if JD was talking much. JD said she was the talker. He said he's not the talker. Howard said he sits there when he's a lummox. Howard asked if people were shocked he had a girlfriend. JD laughed. Howard said he never had a girlfriend so this is a big deal. Howard said he has a good job and this had to be a huge deal. Howard said they must have wondered how he got a hot girl. JD said if those conversations happened they weren't around him. Howard said they are all probably in shock.
Howard asked JD if they were shocked by his weight gain. JD said he's been this weight for like 7 or 8 years. Will said no way to that. JD said when he turned 30 he started gaining weight. He said he's been between 210 and 220 ever since. He's 5'9'' tall. Howard said he's got a big success belly.
Howard asked if JD put his arm around her and stuff. JD said he did. Howard asked if he fucked her at his dad's house. JD said they did not stay there. Howard asked if she corrects him when he eats too much. JD said it's not about portions. He said she can do that though. Howard asked what she said to him. JD laughed. Howard asked what's so funny. JD said he's laughing at Will laughing. Howard asked if she slaps his hand. JD said she wants him to eat healthier.
Howard asked if JD was eating a lot of stuffing. JD said it wasn't Stove Top stuffing so he didn't eat as much. Howard said a lot of that belly was built by Stove Top Stuffing. Howard thanked them for that. Howard said his belly is like a stove top. Howard said if aliens ever came down they'd eat JD first.
Gary said he has a picture of JD from 2006 and a newer one from 2010. He was still thinner. Howard said now he's way heavy. Gary said he is a different weight than he was 6 years ago. JD said he's looking to get into a gym thing soon. Gary said his girlfriend runs in marathons and he watches. Gary said he's asked JD about this before. Howard said JD is really particular about chicks. Howard said JD has standards. Gary said he asked JD if he was going to run like his girlfriend and he said no way.
Howard congratulated JD on his anniversary. He said he won't have to hear about this for another year. Howard said he's happy for JD. Robin said he does seem happier. Robin said he has a very nice hair cut too. Robin said she must have cleaned him up before the holidays. JD said he goes to this place and a guy cut it and it's the same style. Howard asked what he pays for that. JD said about $35. Howard said that's New York City. Howard said you still have to tip too. Howard said you get your hair cut and then you have to give something more. Howard said just charge what you want. Robin said they might have a shampoo person and all of that. Howard said Toni cuts his hair at his house. Robin asked if he tips. Howard said no. Howard said maybe Sirius should tip them. Howard asked why you get tips at some jobs and not at others. Robin said it must be the type of service.
Howard asked what JD tips. JD said about 10 bucks. Howard said then he's up to 45 bucks for a hair cut. JD said ''I guess.'' Howard said just do the math.
Howard asked JD about his dad getting married again. JD said that happened a couple of years ago. Robin said he never told them about it. JD said he didn't know he had to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that JD kept calling the woman ''his dad's wife'' and not his step mom. JD said he loves her but it feels weird to him to call her mom. He said he was already an adult when he met her. Howard said JD is so awkward and he doesn't use her first name. JD said he does use her first name. Howard said he bets he just avoids calling her anything.
Howard said JD was his dad's best man at his wedding. Howard said that was in 2009. JD said people are scouring his Facebook. Howard said they must be.
Howard asked what Erik ate. Erik said he had stuffing and cranberry sauce. He said he had lasagna and turnips too. He said he loves turnips. Howard said he must have gained his weight back. Erik said not really. He said he's still losing weight. He had trouble getting that out. Howard said Thanksgiving is a holiday for fatsos.
Erik said he'd like to be JD's housekeeper. Howard cut him off and said goodbye. Erik asked what he did for Thanksgiving. Howard said it was just him and his wife. He said they didn't eat as much as Erik did. Howard said he had a second thanksgiving with his kids over the weekend. Erik said he did too. He said he had a meal at a diner on Thursday night. He said he had it again on Friday and Saturday.
Howard said imagine that he had thanksgiving so many times. Howard said the amount of food he's eating... He asked if his shit's are huge. Erik said sometimes yes and sometimes no. He said they have been big the past week or so. Howard said there are too many people on this planet. He said they're all eating too much and flushing t all. Howard asked Erik if he has trouble flushing. Erik said he does. He said that he'll be in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. Howard asked how many times a day he shits. Erik said at least 2 or 3 times a day. Howard said all of this waste is going somewhere. Howard said he thinks it's going into the ocean and ruining things like the Great Barrier Reef.
Howard said Erik has to share a bathroom in his building. Howard asked if people are banging on the door all the time. Erik said they don't. Erik said they have 3 toilets there. He said that he has never had someone bang on the door. Howard asked if it inhibits him at all. Erik said not at all. He said he keeps to himself when he's in there. Howard asked if he has to push or does it come pouring out. Erik said it comes pouring out. Howard laughed. Robin said this isn't funny.
Howard asked if Erik reads the entire paper while he's in there. Erik said he does. Howard asked how he wipes. Erik said from back to front. Howard asked if the shit ends up on his balls. Erik said no. He said he has to use like 20 wipes. Howard said he can't be wiping well. Erik swears he does. Howard said he can't possibly. Howard asked if he ever has skid marks in his underwear. Erik said he never does. Howard said that's not possible.
Someone was talking behind Erik. Howard asked where he is. Erik said he just finished physical therapy and he may have to have a knee replaced.
Howard had Shuli come in to describe Erik's bathroom. Shuli came in and said that Joey has his own bathroom in that same building. He said it's just a toilet in the middle of the room. Shuli said Erik's bathroom is very small. He said Erik is huge. He said he has to walk in sideways into the bathroom and the apartment. He said the bathroom has to be torture for anyone in the building. Shuli said he did 2 craptaculars with Erik. He said he shit so much in the first one they ran out of bags to weigh the shit. Howard wished Erik a happy thanksgiving. Shuli said that he tried to invite himself over to his house.
Shuli said that April was in there. He said she's hung out with Ham Hands Bill too. Howard asked who else. Erik said she hasn't hung out with Ham Hands yet. Shuli said she has but she hasn't told Erik probably so she doesn't upset him. Erik said they're getting along very well. Howard said he's going to let Erik go.
Howard read a note saying that April tours as a comedian who is ''from the Howard Stern Show.'' Howard asked how she's from the Howard Stern Show. Erik said he told her. Shuli said she claimed that her agent put that out there. She said she had it taken down right away. Howard said of course she did.
Erik asked Robin what she did for Thanksgiving. Robin said she had it with friends and her nephew. Howard let Erik go after that.
Shuli said that he had Joey Boots and Erik over once and Erik broke a chair. Joey shit in their bathroom and Shuli said he wanted to burn the place down because it smelled so bad. Howard said that he has to go. He let Erik go and did a live commercial read.
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Robin read a story about the musical Hamilton has set another record. Robin said it earned more money than any other musical in one week. Robin said it's the first show to break $3 million in a week. Robin said they have won a bunch of awards already as well. Robin said there's a pick pocket at the shows as well. Robin said they have a photograph of the people in line and they have photos of her in the paper today. Robin said she looks like Oprah Winfrey to her. Howard said she should have her own magic show. Robin said she does look like Oprah wearing glasses.
Robin read a story about a very wealthy man, named Lapo Elkann, who alleged that he was kidnapped but the police claim that he was lying about that. They say he ran out of money and faked his kidnapping.
Robin read a story about a woman who did an abortion on herself with a coat hanger and she was arrested. Robin said she later gave birth to a 1.5 pound baby. Robin said those coat hanger abortions are not a good idea.
Robin read a story about what the Word of the Year is. Fred played her saying ''Jag off.'' Robin said it's actually Xenophobia. Robin said that's what was named the word of the year by Dictionary.com
Robin read a story about Evan Rachel Wood talking about how she's been raped in her real life. Howard said he's watching her on Westworld. Robin said she gets raped every episode. Howard said he hasn't seen that. Robin said that happens every week. Howard said he hasn't seen that. He said he's not even sure what's happening on the show. Howard said it seems like rape is an epidemic. Robin said it is. Robin said there is a lot of that going on. Robin said she dated Marilyn Manson when she was 18 and Manson was 36. Howard said he admires her for coming forward with that information. Gary said she was linked to Katherine Moening from The L Word. Gary said that's the woman Howard and Beth liked on that show. Howard asked if she's bisexual. Gary said Robin mentioned her in the story. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if there will be a Playmate of the year now that Playboy doesn't have centerfolds. Fred played a clip of Wendy the Slow Adult saying yes. That led to Howard asking questions and Wendy saying yes to almost everything he asked. Robin said she asked about the Playboy thing because the 2015 Playmate of the year may be facing some jail time. Robin said she was at a gym in the shower room and a 70 year old woman was using the shower and she took a photo of her and posted it. Robin said she said ''If I can't unsee this then you can't either.'' Howard said she has to do some jail time for that. Robin said she regrets what happened. Howard said she's going to get old too. He said she will be the hottest chick in prison though. Robin said it was a misdemeanor crime apparently. Howard said she should shut the fuck up. Robin said that she faces 6 months in jail if convicted. Robin said she's been banned from the L.A. Fitness gyms. Howard asked how she's going to survive. Robin said she may lose her figure. Howard said they should force feed her and make her fat and then take pictures of her naked in a shower.
Robin read a story about a chess championship that's going on in New York right now. Howard said he hasn't been following it lately. He said he will log on and watch it though. He said he likes the ICC. Robin read about a guy who is in the tournament. Robin had some audio of one of the players talking about his games.
Robin and Howard talked about how this Emoji thing is taking over. Robin said that she went to say thank you to someone and a smiley face showed up instead. Robin said she's not sure that says ''thank you.'' Robin had some audio of a psychologist talking about the different meanings of Emojis.
Robin read a story about how Google is giving people a new way to shop. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how you can check how busy a mall is through Google.
Robin read a story about the holidays being a source of stress for some. Robin had some audio of someone talking about planning to sleep like you do for exercise or anything else.
Robin asked if you're ever too stupid to kill. Fred played Wendy saying ''No.'' Howard asked what Robin means. Robin said we have the death penalty and sometimes people argue that their client is too disable to execute. Howard said he said it years ago. He said Gary the Conqueror knows not to kill. Howard said he's the lowest. Howard said they know not to kill. Howard said they have to be responsible. Howard asked if Wendy knows not to kill. Fred played her saying no. Robin said that there's a guy who is on death row and they're taking his case to the supreme court. Robin said this murder happened 30 years ago and they're trying to prove that the death penalty is flawed. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Ohio state university attacks and how they're saying that everyone attacked is expected to survive. Robin said the suspect ranted on social media before slamming his car into a group of people. Robin said a post on Facebook said that he had reached a boiling point and he was a Somali refugee. Robin read that the suspect was killed in under 2 minutes. Howard said the cop did a very good job and got on the scene before the guy could kill anyone.
Robin read a story about a guy on a plane who was banned from Delta flights after going on a rant about Donald Trump. Howard said he saw this video. Robin had him play a clip of the guy yelling about Donald Trump and asking if they have some ''Hillary bitches'' on this flight. He said if you don't like Trump that's too bad. Robin said she would have gotten up and walked off that flight if she was on it with him. Robin said they didn't take him off the flight. Robin said Delta is reevaluating that whole situation.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump alleging voter fraud in some states. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about Andrew Cuomo trying to ban something called a gravity knife. Robin said she's not sure what's going on with them. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how they're $3.88 at Walmart. The guy said he depends on it to protect himself. Howard said he's not sure why honest citizens can't have something to defend themselves. Howard said if the students at Ohio state had weapons maybe they could have taken out this Somali guy. Howard said at this point they might ban cars because terrorists are using them to attack people. Howard said carry 50 knives for all he cares. He said that you have to protect yourself from these kooks.
Robin read a story about Fidel Castro's funeral and what's going on with that. Howard said that guy didn't deserve a funeral. Robin said that Obama and Biden won't be going to the funeral. Robin said they seem to think they will send some kind of representative down there.
Robin said that Pope Francis is encouraging governments around the world to do something about global warming.
Robin said that Kanye West is still in a hospital. Robin said there is no set time for his discharge. Robin had Howard play one of his songs. Robin said he's not stable enough to go home yet. Robin said that Kim Kardashian is still shook up from what she's been going through. Robin said Keeping Up With the Kardashians is on hold for the rest of the year. Robin said they shut it down in early October. Robin said production won't resume until early next year at the earliest. Robin said they say that Kim has been a wreck since she was robbed. Howard said they can't top Bruce becoming a woman. He said that's the greatest.
Robin read a story about Taylor Swift having her own channel on DirecTV's new streaming service. Howard said he loves watching her. He said he meets guys who don't think she's hot. Howard said he's a sucker for that chick. Fred played some creepy Ronnie clips where he's talking about pussy juice and having a woman ovulate into a frying pan and things like that. Howard asked what he's doing. He asked if Robin had anything else. Robin was done so Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
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Howard started the show talking about how due to popular demand they have more requests for Robin singing the National Anthem than anything else. Fred said if they had it on iTunes they'd be rich. Howard said he didn't know it was such a hit. Howard here we go Robin. He played her version of the song that she did after hearing Aretha Franklin's 4 minute version.
Robin laughed hearing it. Howard said no laughing. Howard said even Colin Kaepernick is standing. He said Robin is an angel. He said imagine they play this at sporting events. He said Donald Trump just called and said he wants her to perform at his inauguration. Howard asked if she was trying at all. He said she does have training.
Howard played a fake Rosie O'Donnell clip where she talked about her favorite part of the show when Robin talks about her brown mammaries.
Howard said with the election out of the way it's interesting to be in the aftermath. Howard said he's not sure how Jim Bakker got out of jail. He said he's back on TV and he's back to being pastor Jim Bakker. Howard said he went to prison. He said he was charged with a bunch of things like alleged wire fraud and things like that. Howard said he was sentenced to 45 years in prison but he spent like 5 years in. He said now he's back.
Howard said they say that Jim Bakker is saying the states that voted for Hillary Clinton are going to be punished with natural disasters. Howard played a clip of Bakker talking about all of that. Howard said now he has another ''Robin'' like person with him. She's going along with the guy's crazy thoughts. Bakker was talking about California and how God showed him what's going on under the ground there. Howard said that's where all of the earthquakes are anyway. He said that's some prediction. Howard said he's predicting wind in Chicago and cold in New York too.
Howard said JD found audio of this pastor John Kilpatrick who speaks in tongues. He has a TV ministry as well. Howard said he starts doing that speaking in tongues thing and it's like Pee Wee's Playhouse. Howard said they all sound like JD when they do this. Howard played a clip of the guy preaching and then speaking in tongues. Howard played more of the guy rambling on and on about the election.
Howard said it makes writing sermons easier. He said if you run out of things to say you just speak in tongues. Fred played some Riley Martin clips. Howard said Riley did the same thing on his show.
Gary said JD says that actually went on for 10 minutes. He said that had some regular sentences in between. Fred played more Riley Martin clips. Howard made up his own stuff to go along with that. Fred played Riley saying ''Uhh'' and Howard would repeat him. Howard took lyrics from songs and made them into speaking in tongues.
Ronnie asked what's up. Howard said Robin was in the bathroom in the hall and he was going into a meeting. He asked where Robin was and he said she's in the something. Ronnie said it was someone else who said it. He said she's in the ''Louvre.'' Howard said that's not what the bathroom is. Howard asked if he knows what that is. Ronnie said that's the bathroom. Ronnie said he hears that from someone else there. Howard asked where he hears that. Ronnie said it's the ''other lady'' there (Marci Turk). Howard said she's not going to the Louvre. Howard asked if he should correct him. Ronnie said it's the Loo. Howard said he does know it then. Howard said Ronnie said Robin was in the Louvre.
Howard asked Ronnie about his vacation. They were looking for a place to get married. Howard said this is going to be the best wedding ever. Howard asked who goes to bed first when they have thanksgiving at her parent's house. Ronnie said they stayed in a hotel. Howard asked if he got a lecture from the father. Ronnie said he didn't. He said when he first met her he remembers them coming in for Christmas. He said Stephanie was bar tending. He said they came to visit her at the pool hall where she was working. He said Stephanie had him come down to meet them. He said he was sitting there having a drink with her father. Then he had another drink and then another drink. He said he asked the guy what he thinks about the situation and he told him he's fine with it as long as Stephanie is happy. Ronnie said he could have said he wasn't happy with this shit.
Howard said Stephanie's dad is on the phone. Howard took the call from one of the guys in the back who was doing his Ronnie impression. He was talking about what he and Ronnie were doing like going to look at guns together. Ronnie said they actually did that. He said they were 69ing in the garage. He said Ronnie is like the grandfather he never had. Howard let him go a short time later.
Ronnie said that they had a great time down in Florida. He said they went to Miami first. Howard said Ronnie went to some NASCAR guy's yacht and things like that down there. Ronnie said the guy is getting married and his future in-laws brought their yacht and he got to go on that. Howard said he's really changed Ronnie's life. Howard said he's on a party yacht and all of this. Ronnie said they went to a bunch of NASCAR parties. Howard said he hear he's sick too. Howard said he doesn't hear it but the guys say he's sick. Ronnie said he got over it.
Ronnie said they went to a NASCAR banquet too. He said that was televised on NBC. Howard said alright. Ronnie said then they went to Dayton Ohio. He said they spent 4 days there.
Howard said Ronnie was in Ohio not far from where JD was. Ronnie said they were supposed to get together but that didn't work out. Howard said they see each other all the time. Ronnie said it was something to do. He said there's not much to do in Ohio. Howard said seeing JD isn't much to do. He said he'd rather go look at guns.
Howard asked JD why they didn't hook up. JD said they were busy and he never heard from Ronnie. JD said he would have gotten his dad to go hang out with Ronnie. Robin asked about JD calling Ronnie. Ronnie said JD never calls him. He said he told him 9 times to get in touch. Howard said JD might be autistic. He said he might have Aspergers and a touch of autism.
Ronnie said he'll tell JD to come out with him and Jon Hein and he'll bitch about getting there. JD said he doesn't have a car. Ronnie said he doesn't drive anymore when they go out. He said the Uber thing is great. Robin said JD hasn't figured that out. Ronnie said JD had a car when he started working there at K-Rock. He said it was some purple car.
Howard said people think they have people with experience there. He said JD was working at a diner. He said they hire people who had zero experience. JD said he was an intern there. Howard said almost every staffer there was an intern. Howard said JD went to that Full Sail college.
Howard said he heard the guys talking about JD going to visit his parents with his girlfriend. He said they say that JD is the big success in the family. Howard said he didn't look at JD like that. Howard said he has a girlfriend and an apartment in Manhattan. Howard said he's the meal ticket. JD said he's not a meal ticket. He said everyone is fine. Howard said JD is the big deal. He said he's the rock of the family. He said that's frightening. Howard said that's slippery dude. Howard said no one is doing better than JD. Howard said he's the king. JD said he's not the king. Howard said he's like Jed Clampett.
Howard said JD is the big cheese. JD said he's not. Gary said he's Cheesy the Bad Ass. Howard said now he's Hollywood Harmeyer. Fred played the Superman theme music while Howard was talking about that. Ronnie said he doesn't think JD talks to anyone he went to school with. He said he hears from people he hasn't heard from in years. Robin said of course they expect that from Ronnie.
Howard said JD sits by the pool like Robert Evans. Howard did his JD impression like he's the Godfather. He said he's Mumbly Corleone. Howard did his JD voice like Marlon Brando. Howard said he's called the Slobfather. Howard said imagine that sit down. Fred did his impression of JD too.
Howard was asking Slobfather for something and Fred did his JD impression just making a word here and there intelligible. The rest was mumbling.
Howard said JD probably slips everyone a dollar when he shakes their hands. Ronnie said he was looking forward to meeting JD's father. He said he spoke to him a couple of times on the phone. He said he thanked him for hanging out with JD. He said he told him JD respects him. He said it made him feel good. Ronnie said he was looking forward to meeting him but JD never picked up the fucking phone.
Howard said it's funny that Ronnie is JD's mentor. Ronnie said Jon Hein is too. He said he likes Jon. Ronnie said he likes JD even though he canceled his show. Howard said Ronnie had his own radio show and he got JD's opinion on the show and he ended up canceling it.
Ronnie mentioned that he's mentoring JD on something but he can't say what it is. Howard begged them to tell him what it is. Ronnie said he can't say. JD said he doesn't want it out there. Howard asked Ronnie if he talks to him in his office back there. Ronnie said they will close the door back there. Howard asked if it's wedding stuff. Ronnie said no. Howard asked if it has to do with dogs and peanut butter or squirting. Ronnie said he can't say what it is.
Howard said JD has an office back there and it's all closed off. He said he's next to his office. Howard said he'd give anything to hear what they talk about. JD said they talk to other people. Howard asked if it's about getting married and all of that. JD said it's about moving on and that stuff. Ronnie told him to shut his mouth and stop talking before it all spills out.
Howard said JD turns to Ronnie about moving forward with the relationship. Ronnie said he hears about things and he'll go to him and talk to him about it. Then JD will tell him more and he'll tell him not to do it the wrong way. Howard said it has to be about marriage. Ronnie said he's not saying that. Howard said JD probably wants to bang her and get her knocked up first. JD said that's not even a thought right now. Howard asked at what point he'll be ready. JD didn't answer.
Howard asked who JD goes to first. Ronnie said he'll go to Jon Hein first. Howard asked who gives him bad advice. Ronnie said he's not the rat around there. Howard asked who gives him bad advice. Ronnie said he doesn't know. JD said it's not bad advice. He said things get publicized before they should be.
Howard asked JD who he goes to and gets advice and then Ronnie tells him not to do that. JD said he thinks what Ronnie is talking about is not someone there. He said it's someone outside the show. Howard said he's saying it's there though. JD mumbled and laughed. Howard said everything with JD is so complicated. JD said he'll talk to Nik or Jason and it'll get on the air. Howard said they talk to JD and they give him shitty advice and then Ronnie comes in and tells him what to do. JD said it's something like that.
Jason said he's never given JD advice. JD said he has given him some. Howard said imagine you give advice so bad Ronnie is correcting you. Ronnie said JD has come a long way. Howard said you know whatever this thing is that's top secret is probably the lamest thing ever. Robin said it will be something stupid. Robin said JD should be able to figure this stuff out. Howard asked if JD doesn't know how to get married. JD didn't answer. Howard said he figured it out twice.
Howard asked if it's about a pre-nup or something. Howard said Ronnie knows about that. Howard said imagine going to Ronnie for advice. He said he'd tape that and make it a special on Howard 101. Ronnie said he hasn't steered him wrong yet. Ronnie said he won't give JD advice on proposing. He said he'll leave that up to Jon Hein.
Ronnie said when they were on the road JD was getting laid left and right. He said he was like a proud father. Howard said imagine that road trip. Ronnie said they were in Arizona and this girl was begging JD to take her to his fucking room. He said they were hot girls too. He said in Chicago they had to bang his door down because they almost missed their plane. Howard said JD is a catch. He said it's the secret life of JD. JD said he had some good nights.
Howard asked if JD is fucking up by hooking up with this chick. Ronnie said she's good for JD. Howard said he's getting from this that JD is planning a proposal. Ronnie said he's not saying that. He said all he's saying is that she's great for JD. He said she's very outgoing and she handles the conversation. He said she gets JD started too. Howard asked if JD giggles like an idiot. Ronnie said he's not like that. He said they can have intelligent conversations.
Robin asked if there will be a holiday party this year. Howard asked if she checks her email. Robin said she knows how to work her email. Howard said they sent out the invitations. Robin said she tried searching for it the other day and it wasn't there. Howard said she doesn't know how to use her email. Howard said she doesn't know how to work it. He said it happens every year. Robin said she knows how to do it. Ronnie said he was able to answer within a few seconds.
Robin said what Howard needs to do now is have JD and his girl sit at his table at the party. Howard said ''Oh please.'' Howard said he did that last year. He said he likes JD. He said he wouldn't work with people he doesn't like.
Ronnie said they had a party at the Hard Rock and no one would sit near Howard. Howard said that was awful. He figured he must be horrible to work with. Howard said he'd like to have people socialize with him. Howard said Ronnie is right. He said he talks to him every day. He doesn't need that at the party.
Robin checked her email and she can't find the invitation. Howard said it came out on November 7th. Howard said there's something wrong with Robin. He said she has problems with every email. Robin was trying to find it and it wasn't there. Robin asked if it had something to do with Howard Stern. Howard said yes. Ronnie said it's from someone else. Robin said she's searching Howard Stern. Ronnie said he has it and she just has to look at her phone. Howard said the subject is ''Staff Holiday Party.'' Howard told her to do this at home. He said this is sidetracking his show.
Howard said it's amazing that Robin doesn't know how to work her email. Robin said Howard is a whack ball. Howard said Gary is searching the email. Robin said now she has it. Howard said check her fucking email. Robin said she does. Howard asked if Gary can believe this. He said she doesn't know how to use her email. Gary said the bigger issue is for years now they don't know how to communicate with her. Gary said he never knows if her email is working right. Howard said she's not conducting herself right. Robin said that never happened. She laughed. Howard asked why this is funny. Howard asked how she misses that. Robin said she hasn't the foggiest. Howard said if she checks her email every day how does she miss that. Robin said she misses everyone's email. Robin said she has a lot of spam and email mixed. Howard asked if she knows how to filter it all. Robin said yes. Howard said he's concerned. Robin said she was only joking about not being invited.
Howard asked Robin how many phones Robin has. Robin said she was on her computer and Gary was on her phone. Howard asked how many she has. Robin said she has two phones. She said she likes having two. Howard said it's baffling to him how she misses email.
Gary said one time Robin left her phone there and the next day Howard said she forgot and left it there and Robin said she didn't forget it, she left it there.
Ronnie said now Howard is going to obsess about this. Robin said she knows. Howard said he's right. Howard said he can't believe this. Ronnie said he checks his email when he gets one. Howard asked if she knows how many emails he has in his inbox. Robin said she knows he clears it all. Howard said if he can settle his email within 2 minutes he'll do it. Howard said he has a plan for all of his email. Howard said he sees what Robin is into. He said he's going to lecture her on that one day. Howard told her to learn how to use her email. Robin said lets move on. Ronnie asked if Robin is coming to the party. Robin said of course she is.
Howard said with his email he has zero inbox. Howard told Robin what to do. He said look at every one. He said you ask if you can throw it out, take action, respond in 2 minute or save it. He said you save email in a reference email. Robin said she's heard this a million times. Howard said you have to do that. He said Ronnie figured it all out and he's a Neanderthal.
Robin said she's heard it all. Howard asked if she doesn't care. Robin said she doesn't care. She said she's heard all of this and she doesn't care. Howard said it's remarkable. Fred said he thinks JD is feeling good because he's off the hook. Howard said he has to talk to Fred about this. He said forget the email. He said Ronnie brought up the keys and stuff. Robin said sometimes she's in a rush and she goes out and rushes back into the studio. Howard said email and calendar represents order in her life.
Howard asked Robin who the first email in her inbox is from. Robin said she closed it. Robin said she's looking now. Howard said she can't even find it. Howard said he's going to help her right now. Howard asked Robin to open the email up. Robin found a company that sells pens. Howard told her to hit unsubscribe. Howard said no more emails from this pen company. He said that's what you do. Howard said Robin isn't doing things right. Howard said unsubscribe and you'll never get an email from them again. Robin said the next one is from her nephew. Robin said it's actually a text. Howard asked how she has a text in her email. Robin said she doesn't. She looked at the wrong thing.
Howard said he's so together and Robin doesn't appreciate him. Howard told Robin to unsubscribe from the next email from Flowers.com. Robin said the unsubscribe did something weird. Howard said he's going to give her a gift of going through the email with her on Christmas. Howard asked if Robin is on AOL. Fred played a sound of a dial up modem and the ''You've got mail'' sound. Howard said no more London until her email is cleaned up. Howard said she's an email hoarder.
Howard asked Robin who the next email is from. Robin read who it was from and it was a real estate listings thing. Robin had to unsubscribe from that too. Howard said she'll never hear from that fucknut again. Howard said they'll do this on the computer so they can do it more rapidly. Howard asked who the next email is from. Robin said it was another catalog place. Howard said he's out of his mind over this. Robin said this is why she gets upset. She said Howard is upset and it upsets her. Howard said this drives him insane.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back saying that he's from Publisher's Clearinghouse and Robin won $5 million and they had to give it to someone else because she didn't respond. Another caller said Robin beat the cancer and he's been trying to get in touch with her for months.
Howard asked how many emails she has in her inbox. Robin said she's not going to say. Howard asked if it's over 4,000. Robin said yes. Howard said they have to do something about this. Howard asked what she's doing on Sunday. Robin looked at her calendar. Robin said she has work in there every day. Robin looked up Sunday and said it's December 3rd but it's actually the 4th. Howard said she doesn't know how to use it. Robin said she's wide open on Sunday. Howard said he's going to come over and go through her email with her on Sunday. Robin said she'll have it cleared today. Howard said he never wants to hear that she didn't get an email again. Robin said that will happen.
Ronnie said he gives Gene a show calendar every year so he can remind Robin when not to come to work. Robin said that he needs to know her schedule. She said she has the schedule. Robin said her work schedule is in the phone. Gary said the guys reminded him that Robin showed up when they were off one day. Robin said she did. Howard said she asked ''How come no one told me?'' Robin said it wasn't in the email. Robin said there have been times when Gary hasn't emailed her about things. Howard said it wouldn't have made a difference. Howard said she needs a parent and he's going to be the father that doesn't finger her. Howard said they're dropping this for now but they'll take it up later.
Howard said Lenny Dykstra was up there recording some stuff for them and he's really obsessed with Robin. Howard said he asked Sal to find a rant about Robin from the recording session. Howard played a clip of Lenny talking about how he wants to fuck Robin. He said he guarantees that he'll fuck her without a rubber. Lenny said it's all mind control. He said that he took a dyke and ran with her. He said it's a challenge. Lenny was talking about how he'd sign a pre-nup. He said he's going to fuck her because she's making him mad.
Ronnie said Lenny told him that she's got it in her mind now and it's going to be a challenge for him to eat her pussy out. Robin said she never thinks about him at all. Howard asked how she likes that. Robin said it's amazing. Ronnie said Lenny thinks that Robin went out to check if she was wet or not when she left her studio.
Howard played some Lenny clips and said that John Hinckley Jr. called and said that he thinks Lenny is too obsessed. Ronnie said Lenny thinks Robin has a perfect slot too. He laughed. He said he thinks Robin has a clean slot with no meat curtains or anything. Robin said that's a 180 degree slot and not a 90.
Howard asked Ronnie if he cares about a perfect slot. Ronnie said he doesn't care. He asked who gives a shit about that. Howard asked Ronnie if he wants to do a show called ''Slot Talk'' with Lenny. Howard said this is some world we live in.
Howard said Ronnie is fluent in Lenny talk so he always goes to him about that stuff. He thanked Ronnie for mentoring JD. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he was reading about how Donald Trump just named someone to be treasury secretary. Howard said the guy's got a hot wife. He said she's right up there with Melania. Howard said he applauds that appointment. Howard said he wants to see that chick. He said she's right up there with the FOX News chicks. Howard said this guy is a Goldman Sachs dude. Howard said one of the things they're going to do to raise money is have a calendar with all of the wives of the cabinet. Howard said he'd buy that.
Howard said Hillary Clinton is already working on a book. Howard said the audio book got leaked. Howard played a clip of Hillary that the guys had edited to make her say some crazy stuff. Howard said they're saying this is going to be the best book ever written.
Howard said that's what everyone is waiting for. He said the name of the book is ''Bill's small cock was never hard for me.'' He had a clip of Hillary saying that.
Howard said he has something to play for Robin. He said he has so many good things. He said he has Richard's Dad and he loves his phone calls to Richard. He said it's a different world out there in Kansas. Howard said he loves that he still says ''Hey Richard, this is your dad...'' Howard played a clip of Richard's dad talking about a Chiefs game and how it was a hell of a game. Howard said he's a good dude. He said he cares about his son. Robin said that's beautiful. Howard said it is.
Howard said yesterday he mentioned a show called Dish Nation and they showed his picture and the girl on the show said he got hit with the ugly stick or something. He said he blew up at her and critiqued her. Howard said he saw her and she's pretty good looking. He said he hadn't seen her before he spoke about her. Howard said she apologized to him and he felt good about her after that. Howard said he was hurt when he went off on her. Howard said he's heard enough about how ugly he is. He said he hears it mostly from himself.
Howard played a clip from Dish Nation where the woman apologized to Howard for saying what she said. She said it was a failed response at being funny and she shouldn't have done that. She said she didn't mean to hurt him. The host said that Howard is into her and she's into Howard. She said maybe they can get perms together. Howard said he doesn't have a perm. He said he has curly hair. He said she's the one who straightens her hair. Howard said she would look better with a Fro. He said he loves a black woman with a big Fro. He said he likes that early 60s afro. He said he'd love to run his fingers through an Afro like the lead guy from The Roots. Howard said his goes straight up. He said that guy is a real man.
Howard said he loves a woman with a natural Fro. He said he loves that. He doesn't need his woman to straighten her hair. He said he loves a Fro. Howard said he just wanted to say that the feud is over with that woman.
Howard said he read that Matt Lauer is staying with the Today show for 2 more years. Howard said he was wondering if they were going to go with Billy Bush. Howard said Matt told him that these younger guys are coming in. He said that he has to do something so maybe he sabotaged Billy Bush.
Howard had clips of a Billy Bush impersonator on the phone. He went through the script with the clips and fake Billy was all happy about what went on with Trump. Then he told Howard he's working for him now. Howard said he didn't hear about that. Billy said there are a million new assholes running around his office so what's one more? Fake Billy was doing some news stories like he was on Access Hollywood.
Howard said he's on fire. He said that's what Billy Bush is doing now. The guys ran out of lines so they kept playing Billy saying ''Yes.'' Howard said every story he reported on had Billy mentioned in some way.
Howard wrapped up with fake Billy. Billy said look for him sleeping in the back of his 98 Maxima tonight. Howard told Billy to take care. They argued about who was going to hang up first.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk. He said he heard a whole saga about Jeff. Howard said he still has his Periscope account. He said it's backfiring on him like everything in his life. Howard said Jeff smokes weed and the ''trolls'' call the cops on him. Howard said the cops came and took all of his weed. Jeff said they did that on Friday night. He said he was in his Santa Claus suit. Howard said whenever people see him doing this they call the cops. Howard said they called SSI and things too. Howard said they called Homeland Security too. Howard said now he's under investigation. Howard said he should get rid of that account. Jeff said he's going to stop smoking weed on there.
Howard asked how the cops just take his weed. Jeff said they asked if he would rather get arrested. Howard said it's kind of sad in a way. Howard said you feel for the cops though. He said they're watching something illegal going on so they have to do something.
Jeff said they told him someone from Oklahoma called and said he was smoking weed. Howard said they can't just leave without his weed if they go to investigate.
Shuli came in and said they haven't arrested Jeff yet because they're huge fans of Howard's. Howard said Jeff is already in jail. He said Jail would be better than where he lives.
Howard asked if the cops knock. Jeff said he invited them in when he heard them knocking on Friday night. He said he didn't think the cops would knock. Howard said Jeff is so lazy he won't get out of his chair to check the door. Howard said if he had just gone to the door then they would have needed a search warrant. Shuli said Jeff was in a Santa outfit on top and his underwear on the bottom. Jeff said the cops had to ask him to put on some pants.
Shuli said you can hear the cops looking around when they came in. He said this was all on Periscope. He said they asked him to shut it off at one point. Shuli said he was in the middle of singing a karaoke song. Howard said they could have just been guys dressed as cops. Jeff said they were real cops.
Shuli said that Jeff has been busted showing his dick to people who aren't chicks. Jeff said that they won't show his Embedded and this other stuff he's done. He said it's fucking bullshit. Robin asked what he's talking about. Howard said he thinks they probably taped something that sucked and they didn't know what to do with it so they didn't use it. Howard said now he's still upset about it. Jeff said it's too good.
Jason came in and said that the Embed special just wasn't good. He said it was sad and not interesting. He said on Thanksgiving they had an idea to show him carving a turkey. He said they were going to put it on HowardStern.com and they had to go through a whole thing with him about that. He said Jeff sent like 10 videos and none of them were him carving a turkey. Jeff said he's by himself and he can't do that. Shuli said he does nothing but record himself all day.
Jason said that Jeff also asked him to help get his Periscope account back up. He said he told him what he had to do and Jeff wrote back saying ''All you can do is send me a fucking email?'' Shuli said Jason helped him get his account back and he doesn't even thank him. Jeff said he did thank him.
Howard said Jeff is at the point where he smokes weed and gets busted every time. Howard said he has a constant invasion of people at his home. Shuli said his world is an open book now. He said people just show up at his place. He said there are people who just fuck with him. Jeff said Shuli is one of the trolls.
Shuli said there are people who are all in cahoots with the trolling thing. He said Jeff has people sending him stuff and he's an asshole to everyone. He said that this guy has an issue with Jeff doing drugs publicly. Jeff said fuck that guy and fuck Shuli too.
Howard said Ralph is on the phone too. Ralph said that they should keep doing what they're doing. Ralph said that the cops probably weren't even cops. Jeff yelled at Ralph saying he's a berry faced bitch. Howard said Jeff lets people into his trailer without even checking who is at the door.
Shuli said Jeff is so gullible that he shaved his head and showed up at a WWE event thinking he was invited. He shaved his head and no one had tickets for him there. Shuli said these trolls are reaching out to SSI and Homeland Security and turning him in. He said he dares them to fuck with him and they do it.
Howard said he needs the SSI to live. Howard asked if it's worth losing that. Jeff said no. Howard told him to get off Periscope. Jeff said he just has to stop smoking weed. Shuli said it sounds like the trolls win then. He said Jeff said he might smoke on special occasions.
Howard asked Jeff how much weed they take when the cops come in. Jeff said he only gets a nickel bag. Howard said he should move his trailer somewhere that weed is legal. Ralph asked if his trailer has wheels. Jeff said it does. Ralph told him to get on the road then.
Howard said Jeff should just get on the road. Jeff said he doesn't have a steering wheel in the trailer. Shuli said Jeff has a cell phone bill that's over $600 a month. He said it's $10 a gig. Shuli said there's a group of people who follow him and they send him funds for that. He said the group is called The Stable. Jeff said that they're all jacked up about being on the show and they can't even use it. Howard asked why he can barely hear Jeff. Jeff said he's right there. Howard said he's doing something wrong. Jeff's furnace came on. Howard asked if he's on speaker phone. Jeff yelled ''Furnace!'' Howard asked if they're on speaker phone. Jeff got off speaker and asked if that's better. Howard said his phone is like his arm, it just doesn't work.
Shuli said that when the cops ask him to put pants on he could have hidden his weed but he forgot to hide it. He said he could have kept it if he had hidden it. He said Jeff has zero overhead there.
Howard asked if it's even illegal to smoke in the trailer. Gary said Brent was saying it's a misdemeanor. The cops probably don't want to do the paperwork.
Howard asked Jeff why he's paying $1000 a month for cell service if he can get Wi-Fi. Ralph said he could get it. Jeff said he doesn't have a port out there. Howard asked what it costs for that. Jeff doesn't know. Ralph said he just needs the box to plug into. He said he's a fucking idiot. Jeff said ''Fuck you Ralph.''
Howard asked what Jeff needs. Jeff said he needs a ''P.O.R.D.'' Howard said it's PORT, not PORD. Howard asked what that would cost. Jeff said he has one. Robin asked why it costs so much. Jeff yelled something.
Howard said Brent can explain what Jeff needs. Brent said that he has to have a hard wired internet connection and then you get a wireless router and you're set. Howard asked why he's not doing it. Brent said he's an idiot. Ralph said that Jeff takes thousands from these people because that's just what he does. Howard said Jeff is trying to buy a PORD and that's why he can't get what he needs. Howard asked what it would take to get his mobile home mobile again. Jeff said he doesn't know. Howard asked if the engine works. Jeff said he doesn't have a fucking engine in it. Ralph said he needs a steering wheel. Jeff yelled that he doesn't have a steering wheel. Howard said this is some piece of shit that's been abandoned. Jeff said it doesn't have wheels or a steering wheel. He said it doesn't have a fucking engine. Jeff said it's not an RV. Howard said it sounds like a shed.
Howard asked if it ever had an engine. Jeff said no. Fred said it must be a trailer. Jeff said it's a manufactured home. Jeff said it's not a trailer. Howard said it must look like the places in that movie ''District 9.'' Howard said this is a tin can with bedrooms and a bathroom. Howard said it's like a shipping container.
Howard took a call from a PORD salesman. One of the guys in the back was doing the voice and said he could help him out. Jeff told him to fuck off.
Shuli said that the trolls are saying that they have double agents in The Stable. He said The Stable is falling apart now because of that. Jeff said they're jealous of him. Shuli said no one is jealous of him. He said maybe a guy in a single wide.
Shuli said the bigger question is who has time to report all of this shit. Ralph asked if Jeff has to have someone do everything for him. Jeff told him to fuck off.
Howard asked if anyone envies that he can just hang. He said he has a roof over his head. Ralph said he can't be happy. Shuli said every Friday night a fan sends him a free pizza and a 12 pack. He said that the Periscope thing has changed a lot for Jeff. He said that it's a catch 22. He said it's rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Jeff said they're fucking trolls to begin with.
Howard asked what the happiest moment of Jeff's life was. Jeff said it was when he walked in the door to meet Howard. Howard said he's sucking his balls now. Howard asked how sad that answer is. Howard said he's a nut. He said that he fell down by the elevator that day. Howard asked what the real moment was. Jeff said something that was mumbled.
Howard asked what that sound is in his apartment. Jeff said it's his furnace. Howard said it's just some heating system. Jeff said it's a furnace. Howard said he can't have one because he doesn't have a basement. Shuli said he's lost heat sometimes when that thing breaks down.
Ralph asked if the place is a mess up there. Howard asked if his is the worst trailer in the park. Shuli said it was clean when he was up there. He said someone showed up to clean it. He said it's people he knows from Periscope. Jeff ended up getting pissed at her because he wasn't able to find his shoes. Howard asked how you yell at someone like that. Shuli said that's why people dislike him. Howard said he's so angry.
Howard asked if Jeff's trailer is one of the nicer ones up there. Shuli said it is one of the bigger ones. He said that's like being the fastest guy at the Special Olympics though.
Shuli said Jeff's toilet broke the day they went up there. His fans bought him a new one and he got it installed for free by a friend. Jeff said they're friends of his that help.
Howard asked what's worse, cleaning up Beetljuice's shit or Jeff's trailer. They all agreed it was Jeff's place. Howard said he must have shit on the floor up there. Jeff said he's never done that. He has shit his pants though.
Jeff said he has a surprise for Ralph. He said his first time to Sirius he and High Pitch Erik were up there and he brought up pizza and Ralph came in and started eating it. He said it was pizza that he bought. Howard said that's a great story. Howard asked why that's a good story. Jeff said he never would have eaten it if he knew he bought it. Ralph said that's true. Howard said he really has to go. He said he's a regular Garrison Keilor.
Howard said he'd rather clean up a murder scene than Jeff's place. Shuli said the other day Jeff had a huge black spot on his elbow. Jeff said it was dry skin. Shuli said that they were wondering if he can't clean it because of his bad arm. Howard said they just put up a picture of his trailer on the web site.
Howard asked how many people live up in that community. Jeff said he'll try to guess. He said at least 100. Howard asked if he's treated like a big celebrity. Jeff said no. Howard asked if anyone asks for his autograph. Jeff said no.
Howard said Jeff is so angry. He said he's not happy. Howard asked if he ever questions the meaning of life. Jeff said ''every day...'' Ralph said he's trying to imagine what it's like in his trailer. He said he has a bunch of 8x10s hanging up in there. Ralph said he has some rickety table by his bed. He asked if that's his dining room table. Jeff said that's his old trailer. Howard said he makes Syria look like Mar-A-Lago.
Ralph asked why Jeff has ducks in there. Jeff said he likes ducks. Howard played a clip of Jeff coughing really long during a Periscope video.
Ralph said if you want to vomit just look at Jeff's toilet. He said he almost threw up looking at it. Ralph said Jeff has a deck too. He said even he doesn't have a deck. Shuli said it's full of garbage but he does have a deck. He said he put some of it aside to put a chair out there. Howard said Jeff got this because his mom left it to him.
Howard asked what his taxes are on that thing. Jeff said ''Taxes?'' He said that he doesn't have to pay taxes. He rents the space. He said it's $250 a month. Shuli said that makes him jealous. Howard said that's what they have to tip the guy downstairs for the car.
Shuli mentioned the video of Jeff coughing and how it looks like when Jabba the Hutt got choked by Princess Leia. Jeff got in a plug for a friend who sent the video. Howard said it's time to say goodbye when he starts getting in the plugs. Howard said he has to go. He let Ralph go and went to break. As they went to break they played a Jeff the Drunk Rich and Famous bit.
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Howard came back and said this song is great. He said those guys were good. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Fred played some clips of her saying ''huge cock'' and things like that. He had clips of her singing too.
Howard said his friends Sting and Trudy wanted a plug for the Rain Forrest concert. Howard gave them a plug. Howard said it's December 14th at Carnegie Hall. Gary said both Robin and Howard are invited. Howard said they went a couple of times and didn't give. Howard said maybe that's why they stopped inviting them. Howard said it's a great concert. Robin said it's a lot of fun.
Howard said he's into the rain forest. He said there are things that can cure people if they stop chopping down the trees. Howard said he just tells them to shut up and play a song. Howard asked if Robin got the email for that. Robin said she did not.
Howard said they have a big Christmas special coming up the day before they go on break. Howard said they have some big names showing up. Howard said he did one big scene with big people. Gary said Amy Schumer, Nick Cannon, Jonah Hill, Lenny Dykstra and more. Howard said what happens is Gary is dressed up like Santa but he falls asleep. He said they go around in their sleigh and visit people like Amy Schumer and people like that. Howard said Robin is practically naked on the sleigh. He said it's a remarkable display. Howard said they visit Lenny and people like that. Howard said they have Will the Farter in it too. Howard said Bubba the Love Sponge will be in it as well. Howard said they go to Bubba's place and Bubba tapes Robin in the bathroom.
Howard said one of the guys was telling him that when they have a guy guest on the show Richard will ask Gary to ask the guest if he's hung. Howard said Richard is gay. Robin said that is bizarre. Howard said they'll find out if he's really gay on Monday. Robin asked what his wife is going to do. Howard said she'll stay with her gay husband.
Howard said they have about 100 questions to ask. He said he had to narrow it down to 10. He said he got it down to 18. He said he had to have at least 18 so they checked with Ed and they will do it.
Howard said they may even throw Ronnie on the lie detector test. Gary said Sal is already going around saying he's afraid he'll fail the test. Howard said he's gay, that's why. Howard said he will fail it.
Howard said Richard wanted to fuck Will in the ass. Howard asked Sal if he remembers that. Sal said he does. Sal said he's a nervous guy so he's afraid he's going to fail. Howard said they will know if he has gay tendencies. Sal said he's afraid the machine will be out of whack for him.
Howard said they took when Richard was drunk and when Sal, Will and Ronnie were drunk and called a show. Howard said they told the host they were all drunk and asked the host to talk to them. Howard said this is an astrology show. Howard said they get to Richard and he's talking about fucking Will in the ass. Howard played the call and the host takes the call and Memet is the first drunk up. He was barely able to speak. Then they take Sal's drunk call and then Richard talking to Will's voicemail when he was drunk. Then they had Ronnie saying they had to fuck some girls and ''get rid of these fucking wive shits... Lets fuck some whores!'' They hung up on them after that.
Howard said that his office is full of alcoholics. He said he loved what Sal was saying. Howard asked what parent would call an astrological show to get help. Sal said Richard is taking a piss in the basement and the guy is telling him it's his shakrah.
Robin said they didn't see this whole phone call coming. Robin said they should have known better than to go to the phones.
Howard said he got Sal's questions down to about 15. He said he thinks that it will show that they're lying about being gay. Sal said no. Fred played a buzzer sound. Howard said he has one question in there that he might give advance notice. Sal said he's nervous about this. He said he's not gay. Howard said he's not gay and he's not nervous. He said that Sal is nervous because he is gay. Howard asked if he will divorce his wife if he is gay. Sal said no. Robin asked what he'll tell his kids. Sal said he'll tell them he's a fruit cake. He said he'll take them to see a play.
Howard said Richard says he's not nervous. Howard said he should be. Howard said Richard is gayer than Sal. Sal said he's not gay. Howard said Richard wanted to be alone in a bedroom with Sal for his bachelor party. Howard said they have questions about that for the lie detector test.
Howard said he guarantees Sal will fail. Sal said he doesn't think so. Richard came in and said he doesn't think that he'll fail. Sal said he may have done a gay, funny thing when he was younger. Howard said now might be the time to talk about it. Sal said it's not gay. Howard asked what happened. Sal said he doesn't want to talk about it. He said he has to get out of there. Howard asked what happened. Sal said he slept over a friend's house and his friend asked if he had a big penis. He said he compared it to his and that was it. He said it's always been in the back of his head. Sal said they didn't get hard. He said he did feel it was weird. He said that might be why he comes out gay in the test. Howard said he guarantees he's gay.
Howard asked if his cock ever touched the other guy. Sal said no. He said he never had a boner fight either. He said he did touch Richard's cock. He said that he just had that one incident when he was a boy. Sal said it didn't bother him though. He said maybe it didn't because he had a penis too.
Gary asked how old he was. Sal said he was 14. Robin said that's pretty old. Gary asked what Sal would think if he saw his son doing that with another boy. Sal said he wouldn't be happy. Richard said he'd think ''Like father, like son!''
Sal said he's not gay. Howard said he thinks that his OCD will go away if he finds out he's gay. Sal doesn't think so.
Howard played a phony phone call the guys made to a Swap Shop show with fake Caitlyn Jenner. They had her telling them that he wants to get rid of his ding dong because it's been holding him back. The host keeps him on to try to get his number so they can call the cops.
Howard said the last time they did the gay lie detector thing they had Ralph who failed. He said he wasn't gay. KC failed and Scott DePace passed. Howard said he thinks that Richard is gay and Sal is 50/50. Richard asked if he passes will they believe it. Howard said he'll abide by the test. Robin said she thinks it'll say he's gay. Howard said he does too.
Howard asked if Sal is going to try to bypass the test somehow. Sal said he thought about it but he won't. He said he heard you can pinch yourself to get by but he won't do that.
Howard said the biggest evidence that Richard is gay is that he took nude baths with his friend in high school. Richard said he's just confident in his sexuality. Howard said no way. Howard said if he could have taken a bath nude with a girl that would have been mind blowing. He said Richard was with a guy.
Sal said they watch porn and Richard knows every male porn star first and last name. He said he makes a tribute to every male porn star in the morning. Howard said Richard had Brad Pitt posters on his wall growing up. Richard said he admires him. Howard said he's consumed with cum. He said once he admits he's gay the drinking will stop. Richard said he doesn't think so.
Richard said he loves Ed Torian so he can't wait for him to ask all of these questions. Sal said he can't help but look at a guy's bulge when he sees it in a ballet. Howard said that's gay. He said if you're looking for it and obsessed with it then he's gay. Sal said he gets upset that his eyes went there. Howard said it's going to be an interesting Monday. Howard asked why Sal thinks he's not gay if he was at the ballet. Sal told Ed not to bother showing up on Monday. He said he's gay.
Sal said he's not gay but he has hang ups about things. Richard said he'll freak out if they watch gay stuff in the back. Howard said he has to put on a whole show so that means he's gay. Howard said he's looking forward to Monday. He said it will be interesting.
Howard said he did write some questions for Ronnie but they may just stick to Richard and Sal. Richard asked if they are gay can they bathe together. Howard said maybe they can tongue kiss if they're both gay. Howard said he thinks at least one is gay. He said it's not a bad thing but be free and live it. Richard said they do with their gay stunts. Howard said get serious with it and stop joking about it.
Howard asked Sal if he's afraid of not going to heaven if he's gay. Sal said he's not that religious. He said he's spiritual. He doesn't think that way at all. Richard said Sal thinks that his grandmother is watching when he masturbates. Sal said she doesn't care.
Howard said he threw in some racial questions for Sal too. Sal asked if Robin think she's racist too. Robin said he might be. Sal said he does racial humor. He said he's making fun of racists. Howard said they'll see how he does on Monday. Sal said he's sweating for the first time ever. Robin asked how he's going to get through the weekend. Sal said he has medication.
Sal said he's been doing hypnosis to get through his OCD. Sal said he looked into it online and now he's getting treatment.
Howard asked if they want to admit anything else before the test. Richard said he thinks he's said everything. Howard said Sal did the penis thing. Sal said that's all he did. He said it got weird. Howard asked if they both liked it. Sal said it's the only thing he ever did. He said it was a sleep over and his friend dropped his pants and asked if it was big and then he compared it to his.
Gary asked if Sal was ever involved in sex with another guy and woman. Sal stammered a bit and said he did. Sal said he was. He said he saw a few cocks. He said there were two other guys. Fred played Frankie Goes to Hollywood's ''Relax'' as they were talking about that.
Sal went into more detail about the penis comparison. Sal said they were looking in a mirror when they compared. He said the other guy was uncircumcised. He said that guy isn't straight. He said he found that out later on. Robin said of course he was gay. Howard said they should do Monday's show today.
Howard asked Sal what the perfect size penis is. Sal said about 7 inches. Howard cut him off and said he's gay. He said his answer should have been there is no perfect penis. They went to break as the Frankie goes to Hollywood song ended.
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Howard said he also has some major news about Grant Tinker dying at the age of 90. Howard said that guy fired them and he said Howard Stern would never return to NBC. Howard said he did return. He said his son Mark Tinker is a big fan of the show. Howard said they're sad for Mark but not for Grant. Howard read about what Grant did for NBC and how he saved them. Howard said Grant left his wife for Mary Tyler Moore. Howard said that had to be tough for Mark. He said they tried to make the best out of working with that guy. Howard read more notes about Tinker and what he did in his life. Howard said Grant didn't appreciate what he did at NBC. He said that Grant fired people who hired him. Howard said he wished he could have asked him why they didn't just pay him off and get rid of him sooner. Howard said it must have been too much to bare to do that.
Howard said Sal knows the Long Island Medium so maybe they can have her contact Grant and ask him some questions. Howard said he wants to know why he didn't just pay off his contract. Howard said they could have paid him off and been done with the whole thing.
Howard said they're bigger men so rest in peace Grant. Howard played Robin singing ''Hallelujah'' to say goodbye to Grant Tinker. Howard said they did just fine after being fired. He said they won't say anything out of respect to Mark.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked everyone there. Howard thanked him. The guy said he listens all the time and he can't watch TV because he lost his sight. He looks forward to Monday's show. Howard said at least Richard will be gay. The caller said he's thinking that himself. Howard let him go and asked Robin what's in the news.
Robin started her news with a story about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame extending their voting 10 days. Howard said they're desperate to get notice for this hall of fame. Robin said Journey is leading the race. Howard said fuck them. Howard said he doesn't mind the band other than Steve Perry. Howard said fuck him. Robin read some of the other bands that are nominated.
Robin said there was a Powerball jackpot of $421 million and 20 people won. Howard said she's asking what 20 into 420 million is. Howard said he's going to write it out. He did the math and tried to figure it out. Howard figured it was $20. Robin said she thinks it's 21 million per person. Robin said you have to pay taxes too though. Robin said they're saying after all of the taxes the people should get $12 million each.
Robin asked if Howard knows Fan Bingbing. Howard said that's Sal's gay name. Robin said it's an actress from China. Robin said she's the highest paid actress in the world. Robin said she's in X-Men Days of Future Past. Howard said he loves X-Men. Robin said she was one of the characters in that movie. Robin said she brought home $21 million this past year from her work in Chinese movies.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was on the show after adopting 4 cats from him. Howard said okay. She said she had no idea that Jeffrey Dean Morgan was in Grey's Anatomy. She said that she's astounded that he got the job as Negan. Robin asked if Howard was still listening. Howard said he had one foot out the window and they're 36 floors up. Howard thanked her for the call. The caller said he can't sleep on her. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. He said he has no idea what she said. He said he hopes she has a 90 degree slot. Howard said Fred left during that call.
Robin asked what the next language will be to take over the world. Howard said he's going with Chinese or Spanish. Robin said that may have happened already. Howard said he'll go with Spanish. Robin said it's already the big three. Robin said it's English, Spanish and Chinese. Howard said he will say Indian. Robin said he'd be wrong. Robin said it's French. Robin said it's already 6th. Robin said it's gaining quickly and they say it will be spoken by 750 million people by 2050. Howard said his wife speaks French but she might be rusty because he never lets her leave the house. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and asked Robin to sing the French National Anthem for us. He had a clip of her singing it. Howard said that's beautiful. He said he didn't know she was so good at this. Howard asked if she's a French speaking person. Robin said she did take it in school.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked Robin if she would take Lenny Kravitz up on the offer of oral if he asked. Robin said any Lenny other than Lenny Dykstra she'd probably take. Robin said she'd take Lenny and Squiggy over him.
Robin read a story about Phillip Morris saying that they can see the day when they stop selling cigarettes some day. Howard said he thinks they bought up some food and beverage companies. Robin said tobacco is still a big deal to them. Robin said they believe that they will be able to use tobacco to produce a vapor but not burn. Robin said they can see a day when they will make money off of that instead of cigarettes. Howard said he likes that they're working on new ways to kill people. He said they should create new lungs because they can fuck them up and then replace them.
Robin read a story about only one woman being alive who was born in the 19th century. Robin said she was born in 1899 and she's 117 years old. Robin said she is the last one from the 19th century. Robin said she eats two raw eggs and one cooked one with very few vegetables. Robin said she eats very little meat. Howard asked how her slot is. Robin said she's not sure what angle that's at. Robin said she got rid of her husband in 1938 and never married again. Robin read she says that she never wanted to be dominated again. Howard said that egg thing is gross. He asked why she'd have two raw eggs and one cooked one. He said that's insanity. He said it must have been the only food around.
Howard took a call from a guy who didn't have anything to say. Howard asked what he wants him to do now. the guy said hello and didn't say anything. The caller said he liked that Jeff the Drunk segment this morning. Howard thanked him for the call. Howard said Jeff is no longer boring. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the band Nickelback and how the Prince Edward Island police say they'll play Nickelback if you're arrested for drunk driving. Howard asked why people pick on those dudes. Howard said he recalls them having a good song or two. Robin had one of their songs to play. Howard said he liked that song. Robin had Howard play a couple more clips. Howard said the second one wasn't so good. Robin had Howard play a couple more. Howard said he's heard worse.
Brent came in to explain why people hate Nickelback. Brent said they're super douchy. He said there's no creativity in their songs. He said the song Howard liked is terrible. He said he'd rather listen to Robin's songs. Howard listened to the song again and didn't think it was so bad. Brent said that Howard's song ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes'' is better. Howard said they can't be that bad. Brent said this band is an embarrassment to the music business. He said Metallica is a cool band. Howard said he likes them too. Howard said if he doesn't like them then they better give him a lie detector test on Monday. Robin said they should ask if Sal and Richard like Nickelback.
Howard ended up singing some Aqualung. He kept singing ''Snot running down his nose'' and Fred played the guitar lick.
Robin read a story about the guy who was shot and killed at Ohio State. Robin said that ISIL is taking credit for him. Howard said there are a lot of kooks who want to kill themselves and now they do it so they get all political and do something crazy. Robin said ISIL is saying that it's one of theirs but he never met them. Howard asked if he was in Nickelback for a while. Robin said maybe he wrote those songs.
Robin read a story about a plane crash in Columbia with the whole Brazilian soccer team on board. Robin said they're trying to investigate what happened. Robin said the pilot issued an emergency call. Howard said he'd never take a plane in Columbia. He only flies in the U.S. Robin sighed. Robin said 6 people survived the crash and 71 died. Robin said the pilot said they had electrical problems. Robin said they may have run out of fuel. Howard said he's sorry for those guys. Howard said one of the girlfriends was really hot. He said she'll probably end up as a wife of one of Trump's cabinet.
Howard asked if you survive that crash do you fly ever again. Robin said you have to get around. Robin said she doesn't believe in living being afraid of everything. Howard asked if you get your money back if the plane crashes. Robin said she's sure there's something there.
Robin read a story about this woman who claims she was abducted by two Hispanic women. Robin said they ended up throwing her out of the car when they were done with her. Robin said she was down to 87 pounds and she was beaten multiple times and had chain marks on her. Robin said there are reports now that say she may have ranted about Hispanic people online years ago. Robin said they're investigating if that had anything to do with the abduction. Howard said it's a fascinating story. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked Howard about where he stands on flag burning. Howard said he believes you should have the right to do it but he's not for burning a flag. He said he'd never do it. Howard said as repugnant as it is you have to be able to do it. Robin said it's a piece of cloth that we say represents the country. Robin asked what happens if you burn it? Nothing. Robin said it's not repugnant. Robin said she was in the service so she fought for the rights. Howard said he believes it represents the country and it's not right to burn it. Howard said it's not a stupid piece of cloth. Robin said it doesn't represent anything unless we say it does. Robin said if you burn it nothing happens to the country. Robin said it doesn't really mean anything. Robin said we waste too much time fixing things that aren't broken. Howard said he knows Trump said that people should go to jail for burning a flag but he thinks it's something people should have the right to do. Howard told Robin to calm down over there. He said she's scaring Fred.
Robin read a story about Mitt Romney and Donald Trump having dinner at Jean George last night. Howard said that's some restaurant. Howard asked if other people are allowed in there when they're in there. Robin said they must have others in there. Robin said Mitt is now saying that he's impressed with what Trump has to say. Robin had some audio of Romney talking about that. Howard wondered how much they tip and who pays.
Robin read a story about how Bernie Sanders is continuing to speak out about Donald Trump. Robin said Trump has been tweeting and Bernie was on Conan O'Brien's show and he commented on some of the things Trump has said lately about the election. Robin had a clip of Bernie talking about what they should be worrying about instead of people who might burn the American flag.
Robin read about Trump picking Steve Mnuchin for Treasury secretary. Howard said that guy has the hottest wife. Robin said he was with Goldman Sachs but then moved to California where he must have found her.
Howard played a clip from FOX and Friends and they had a guy who had Tourettes on the show. Howard said they didn't mention that and the guy was grunting and stuff. Howard played the clip and said that's cool. The guy grunted and let out some hoots. Howard said it sounds like there's porn playing behind Brian Kilmeade. Howard played more clips of the guy grunting and groaning before and after answering. Howard said he thinks the guy just likes to talk and he gets bored when other people are talking. Howard said imagine he goes on a show and starts grunting like that. Robin said when people accuse him of saying wild things he should have said he has Tourettes. Howard said he should do that. Howard said he thinks Lenny Dykstra has Tourettes. Robin said he's got something.
Robin asked if Howard has read those things that say ''natural flavors'' on them. Howard said he has. Robin said they may not be natural. Robin said they're in some naturally derived component but how much is really unknown. Robin had a clip of a woman talking about that. Fred played clips of a guy with Tourettes, Gold Dust, making noises over that story. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Tiger Woods returning to golf. Robin had some audio of Tiger talking about his return. Howard asked what happened to this guy. He said just from fucking he fell apart. Howard said he thinks once his dad died he had back pain and all of that.
Robin read a story about Bill de Blasio saying that they should get rid of the electoral college. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about Michael Bloomberg reaching out to Donald Trump. Robin said he was campaigning for Hillary. Robin said he must be saying let bygones be bygones.
Robin said that Neil Young is calling for the President to stop the battle against the Indians who are against the North Dakota oil pipeline. Robin had some details about what Neil Young has said about that.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
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Here's what they replayed on Howard 100 this morning:
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Here's what they played on today's replay show on Howard 100:
Today's show was over around 11:05am.