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Howard started the show playing a clip of Marfan Mike announcing who they have coming in today. He said Lady Gaga is coming in. Howard said she'll be performing from her new album. He said she has a new collection of songs. Howard said he watched her on Saturday Night Live. He said their ratings have to be through the roof with Alec Baldwin doing his Trump impression. He said even Beth wanted to watch Saturday Night Live and she never does that. Howard said the Sully Sullivan bit was funny too.
Robin said they recap what they did in the debates with that. Howard said everything Alec does is incredible. He said Stephen Baldwin has been saying that it's not funny. Robin said they even threw that into the bit on Saturday Night Live.
Howard said Underdog Lady cut an announce for who is on the show. Howard played that and Underdog said we are listening to Evil Howard. She said that Lady ''Dada'' is on the show today. Howard said she was told the right name but that's what she said.
Howard said he stayed up to watch that Anthony Weiner documentary. He said it was very disturbing. Robin asked if it was about Jeffrey Weiner. Howard had no idea what she was talking about. Robin said she was sick all weekend fighting off a cold. Howard said she does too much. He said she runs around like a lunatic and gets these colds. Howard said she should have been raised by his parents. He said she'd stop running around like that. Howard did his impression of his mother asking Robin what she did wrong. Robin said she doesn't know. She said she felt strange on Thursday and she shut it down. Howard said she must have a schedule. Howard asked what she does. Robin said she likes to go places. Howard, as his mother, told her not to do that kind of thing. He asked her what she's doing. He asked what time her bed time is. Robin said it's 9 o'clock. Howard went off on her about being all charged up and how she has to stop going out on those boats and things like that.
Howard said that's how his mother gets her in line. Robin said she's not going to argue with that. Howard did more of his impression of his mom and added his dad into it too. He had his mom telling Robin that people today are busy with nonsense. He said she's taking courses on humanity and she has to stop. He said all of this is that. Robin asked what that means. Howard's mom said this is why she's sick. He said everyone is in turmoil. Howard said her body is out of balance. He said she has to think about what she's doing. Robin said she didn't go to class. Howard said good. Robin said she does exactly what she says so she's not sure why she's yelling at her. Howard said she was very ill and they were all worried about her. He had his mom breaking down and crying over Robin. Howard said people don't understand deep rest.
Howard, as his mom, said it was her birthday on Saturday. Howard had his dad asking her to tell Robin what they did. His mom told Robin they went to Nathan's on Friday. Howard asked where they go, Oceanside? His mom said that's too far. She said Ben had a Coke there and he never drinks it except when they go there. Howard's mom said that they have a Mexican food type thing downstairs at Nathan's. They go before the crowds go, around 10 o'clock. Howard's mom said she had two orders of French fries and ''glockamole'' and a coffee. Howard said he doesn't have the heart to tell her it's guacamole.
Howard said he was telling Robin before his mother called in that he watched the Anthony Weiner documentary. Howard said on the phone he has Jeffrey Weiner who Robin said she was interested in. Howard spent a minute with that guy goofing on Robin.
Howard said he forgot about what went on with Anthony Weiner. Howard said they thought he could be a good mayor but they were shooting this documentary on him when this thing happened with him. Howard said you see the women he's sexting with and all of that and he has this gorgeous wife. Howard said she has a job with Hillary Clinton and she's classy. Howard said he keeps fucking up his life. Howard said it's so frustrating to see a guy fuck up his life like that. Howard said he's fucking up his whole life. Howard said you can't believe it. He said she has to see it.
Howard said he tells his kids he was raised in a fucked up way. He said if he's fucked up as a father then go call their grandmother. Robin said that's not right to say. Howard said he never says that. He said he's not like that. Robin said she watched the making of Hamilton. Howard said he hasn't seen the play. He said he should see it. Robin said the guy who created it, Linn Manuel Miranda, wasn't sure if he was making an album or what. Robin said a guy he went to school with started taping it and they have it right up through the debut. Howard said he won't watch it based on what she just told him. Robin said they have a lot of interesting things in it. Howard said he fell asleep hearing Robin talking about it.
Howard said he's trying to learn stuff and he read an interview that Rolling Stone did with Bruce Springsteen. He said he's really profound. Howard said he's learning a lot about the guy. He said he's talking about how his life was influenced by a book called ''The People's History of the United States.'' Howard said he got the book and he's reading it now. Howard said he never got a good education so he's giving it to himself. Howard said the book is really good but it's depressing. Howard said it's the history of the world and our country. He said you hear the other side of the Christopher Columbus story. He said you hear about the Native American side. Howard talked about what he learned from the book. He said you read this shit and you figure that's probably how it went down. Howard said that's in the first couple of pages of the book and he was ready to hang himself. Robin said he should watch the series ''The Viking.'' Howard said no thanks to that. Robin said people didn't just go and see what was over there. They beat and raped and took their stuff.
Howard said he's lacking in his sense of history. He said even with Hamilton he doesn't know that much about. Robin said she's thinking about reading the book that inspired Linn to write the play. Howard snored again. He said if they make a movie or play about it you don't have to read the book. Robin said she's reading a book called ''The Other Side of Language.'' She said it's a philosophy book.
The caller said his dad is afraid Hillary is going to take away his guns. Howard said he doesn't think that's going to happen. He said when it comes to abortion he's on Hillary's side too. He said it's a very important issue. He said women have to have the right to decide what they do with their bodies. Howard said we have a country filled with unwanted children. Howard said it's a big fucking mistake. Howard said we're not going back to the coat hanger days. He said it's a big fucking problem.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks most of his listeners are going to vote for Trump. Howard asked how he would know that. Howard said he doesn't know that they're going to vote that way. The caller said he thinks that the majority of white men out there are going to vote for Trump. He said he thinks Howard has changed a lot and he used to be more Libertarian. Howard said he still is. Howard said there's a naive concept that they love Libertarians because they're for no government. Howard said they need government services and as soon as you start talking about taking away any then people start yelling about it. Howard said these people are for giving great benefits to the Vets and all of that comes from the government. Howard said they do waste a lot but you still want government and taxes. The caller said of course. Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. Howard let the guy go after that.
Howard said people argue with him in the email about this stuff. He said he changed his mind and if he does that don't freak out.
Howard said he has a story about this kid who woke up from a coma speaking Spanish. Robin said that happens. Robin said no one can explain it. Howard said this kid lives in Georgia and he had a bad concussion after being kicked in the head. Howard said he wakes up speaking a language that he never spoke before. Howard said the kid is 16 and he wasn't able to speak English when he woke up. Then his English started returning and the Spanish started fading. Robin said this shows the brain is much more complicated than we know. Robin said here is a ton of stuff in your brain that you have no access to. Howard said we need to unlock that. Robin said there are people studying that now with the language thing. Robin said your brain captures everything but spitting it back out is another story. Howard asked if Beetlejuice captures everything. Robin said his brain isn't completely formed. Robin said he might know more than he can let go of. Robin said there are studies going on about that.
Fred played Ronnie's ''Duu'' clip. Howard asked if he knows a lot of stuff too. Robin said he must have a lot in there that can't get out.
Howard said he thought Ronnie was Luca Brazi to his Marlon Brando. Howard said maybe Sirius is the police but Ronnie sees him as the police. Howard said that bummed him out.
The caller said he didn't seem to get the Stars of Satellite Radio thing either. Howard read some email about Ronnie and how so unevolved he seems. Howard read one about how he looks stupid talking like he did about Brent. Howard said he got some email about Brent too. Howard said one guy agreed that Brent is a rat for telling the boss about what goes on back there. Howard said someone said he should let them do their own shows outside of this show. Howard said he doesn't have a problem with that. Howard said some places don't let you do anything outside of the show. He said he lets the guys do their thing but just don't put his name on it.
Howard asked if Brent or Ronnie want to come in to talk about this. Gary said Ronnie is downstairs. Brent came in and said Ronnie acts like a mob boss. He said he's posting stuff on Twitter and he just doesn't get that Howard isn't a cop. He said Howard is their bro. He said he's a fellow broadcaster. Howard said they're on the same team. Brent said if Howard succeeds then they all succeed. Howard said they're the Sopranos. Robin said she'd like to know who is in the gang. Brent said Robin is on their team too. Howard said maybe Ronnie should go sit in his car. Brent said he's the driver of the star of satellite radio. He said he's part of the team. Howard said he just wants to work and then go home.
Howard said someone wrote about Brent being in the 4th Battalion in the Marines. He said the guy said that's what the women are in. Brent said that's true but he was in the second. He wasn't in the fourth.
Brent said he's going to tell Howard any time someone is going to try to fuck him over. He said he has a loyal bro for life based on what he's done for him. Brent said he doesn't understand the Ronnie thing. He said everyone else wants to do their job.
Howard said they have a bunch of pictures of Brent from his Marine days on HowardStern.com. Howard said he was a skinny guy then. Brent said you burn it all off working all day. Brent told Howard about how fast they had to eat back then too. He said you have a lot of stuff instilled in you when you're in the Marines. He said he'll always be to work on time. Brent said he didn't have the discipline to go to school but the Marines instill that in you.
Howard said Brent feels comfortable around Ronnie, right? Brent said it's all good. Howard asked if they were ever friends. Brent said he likes Ronnie. He said he has no problem with him. Howard said Ronnie said to him that he doesn't really like Brent that much. Brent said he's there to do a job and not to be Ronnie's friend. Howard said he's not in a war with him. Howard said Ronnie is at war with him. Howard said Ronnie is still in the jungle at war with Brent. Howard said maybe he should explain the show to Ronnie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said in the classic sense Ronnie is crazy but what Brent is doing is ratting. Howard asked why he's the police in this scenario. The caller said Howard is the boss. Brent said you're a rat if you call the cops. It's not like that there. The caller said if Brent tells him something then it's ratting. Howard said he doesn't care. He hung up on the caller. Brent said this is radio, not organized crime.
Howard asked who would win in a boxing match. Brent said he wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. He said weight is everything in boxing and it would be a bloodbath. Howard let him go and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said that's pretty fucking great. Robin said they still have no idea what happened. Howard took a call from a guy who was doing an impression of the host of that show he just played the call from. Howard argued with that guy like the host of the show was doing with the clips.
Howard said because they had the last debate on Wednesday night they didn't get to talk about it. Howard said they sent some guys over the cover outside the debate. Howard said they can't get inside. He said outside the debate was kind of insane. He said there's a weird crew of people over there. He said he has to recruit Wack Packers from there.
Howard said CNN was outside and the crowd was drowning out the reporters. Howard played a clip from CNN where the crowd was chanting something to drown them out. Howard said he doesn't understand the whole approach. Howard said they're nowhere near the debate so he's not sure why they're there. Howard said if he went outside to do his show that's what it would sound like.
Howard said people were blowing a whistle and yelling out something about rape whistle. Howard said he's not sure what that's about either. Howard played that clip and said it's like an insane asylum out there. Robin asked if they don't care that no one can pay attention.
Howard said the big story was that Trump won't accept the result of the election. Howard played a clip of Trump saying he'll let him know at the time.
Howard said he has to take a call from Trump to talk about the debate. Robin said she has to know why his eyes are a different color than his face. Howard said he's not asking about that.
Howard took a call from Fake Donald Trump who said he has another big win. He also said he has bigly hands. Howard said that's not a word but how would he use it. Trump said Robin has bigly tits. Howard asked what happens if Hillary Wins. Fake Trump said he'll just build his own White House next to the White House. He said if Hillary can't fulfill her duties he'll just step in. He was sniffing and saying that Howard and Billy Bush are both out to get him. He said it's all rigged and they're all working together. Howard argued with Trump and let him go a short time later.
Robin said that Hillary and Donald were at this dinner together and this one woman had her tits hanging out the whole time. Howard said people said that saved the whole thing because people were staring at them.
Howard said they had an over under on the sniffing Trump. He said they recorded all of them. Howard played a clip and counted the number of sniffs Trump had during the debate. Howard said it was 10. He said he's not sure what the over/under was. Howard said he counted ''Bigly'' twice and he's not sure if he meant ''big league'' or what. Howard said that some linguist said it is a word. He said he thinks he means big league though. Howard played a clip of Trump saying it and it did sound like ''big league.''
Howard said his favorite part of the debate was when it gets feisty. Howard played a clip of Hillary talking and fake Trump saying ''Wrong, wrong, wrong'' over her.
Howard had fake Mitt Romney clips on the phone. The guys played clips of Mitt talking about how he wants to be back in the running. Howard carried on his scripted conversation with fake Mitt for a couple of minutes.
Howard said outside the debate they sent some of their correspondents. Howard said they found a couple of people milling around. He said it's an interesting crowd out there. Robin said they have to be interesting out there. Howard said there was a guy saying there's a war on men going on. Howard said it's like people saying there's a war on Christianity. Howard played the clip and the guy said that it's sexual McCarthyism. He said that all Alpha Males are in danger.
Howard said they met a woman there who is anti-Trump. Howard said she says that Trump should suffer. Howard played a clip of her talking about how she hopes he suffers and leads a sad and lonely life. Robin asked why she would want that.
Howard said they found a homeless black woman from another country. Howard said she was for Trump. She thinks that Trump would be good for black voters. Howard played the clip and the woman said Trump wants to make America great again so he would be good for black people. She said it's the best country in the world.
Howard played a clip of a guy they fond there who is a Muslim for Trump. Howard played that clip and said that's just some of the crowd out there. Howard said he'd like to know what Ted Kennedy thinks of this election. Howard contacted him in Heaven and went into his impression of Kennedy. Howard did his Ted impression talking to Robin about the election. Ted said this has been the greatest in history because of all of the pussy talk. He said he grabbed pussy with Mary Jo Kopechne and she grabbed him while they were driving and the rest is history. Ted said that he likes pussy talk even though he's a democrat. He said they talked like that and it wasn't even in the locker room. Robin asked if he popped Tic Tacs and went up to women. Ted said they did that at Au Bar.
Ted talked about how his sister was put in the loony bin. He said that she was full on retarded. He said she was actually mildly retarded. Robin said she thinks that the family didn't like the way she acted so they put her away.
Howard said there was a lot of talk about abortions too. Robin said they were talking about ripping babies from the womb. Ted talked about throwing a woman down the stairs to have an abortion. He said sometimes they'd punch a woman in the stomach to get rid of a baby. Ted asked if Trump is still ranking women. Robin said she would guess.
Ted gave his top 5 women at the debate. He said the spoiler is that none of them are Hillary. Ted gave his list of women at the debate and had Fred give a drum roll. Ted said Chelsea Clinton was number 5. He said he would throw her a sympathy boner. Ted said number 4 was the blonde chick with big tits in row 5. He said he would give her the name Kennedy and then divorce her 4 years later. Ted said number 3 was Ivanka. Her tits were number 2. The number 1 hottest chick at the debate was Melania scissoring Ivanka. Howard asked who is winning in the polls now. Robin said they say Hillary has a 12 point lead.
Ted said he's voting for Hillary. He said she has more brains than the back seat of Jack's convertible. Robin said he can't vote because he's dead. Ted said he's going to do it anyway.
Ted told Robin that ''Bigly'' is a word too. He said his head is bigly. Ted said he has to go now. Howard said that was a good impression. He said it sounded just like him. Howard said now they know what Ted is thinking. He said he has to take a break. He said Lady Gaga will be doing a couple of tunes on the piano they have in there. Howard said he has to thank Steinway for sending one over. Howard said it's a nice set up. He said they were in there tuning it this morning. Robin said she saw them doing that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with the Bad Company cover. Howard asked Fred who is doing this. Fred said it's Five Finger Death Punch. Howard said they were pretty good. Howard let the song play a little longer.
Howard said Michael Rapaport cut a song and it's very angry. Robin asked if he's out of the fantasy football league. Howard said he's not. He said he's still in it but he's over the top angry with the guys. Howard said he has recorded a song about the guys now. Howard said they told him to back off or he's out next year but he doesn't care. Howard said Rapaport is angry at JD so he took a hit in the song. Howard asked JD if he used to get along with him. JD said he doesn't know. JD said he's not doing fantasy football with him again so he doesn't care what they do. He said he would prefer to not have him, Berry or Lisa Ann in the league next year. Howard said Berry didn't do anything. JD said they get crazy inside information.
Howard asked if Rapaport sent him an angry email last night. JD said he did because his team is doing terrible. He said he didn't respond back. Gary said JD is an enemy for life because he voted against him.
Howard played the song parody that Rapaport did about the guys. Rapaport sang about fucking Gary, Jason and JD to the tune of Biz Markie's ''Just a Friend.''
Howard said he sings about fucking Gary and fucking Jason between the tits. He said there's a lot of gay stuff in that song.
Howard asked what this clip is from. JD said he won a Bravo award. He said he's into a lot of Bravo shows. Howard said he likes a lot of shows on that channel too. Howard played the clip of Rapaport accepting an award for being a ''Bravo-holoic.'' Howard said it sounds like a lame award show. He said it sounds like there's no audience there. In the clip Rapaport was talking about how shocked and proud he is to have won that award. Howard said he didn't know he was into that stuff. He asked if he's still acting. JD said he was on a Bravo show just recently. Howard said he thinks you get a Bravo award if you're just willing to show up.
Howard had a clip of Rapaport yelling at someone jack hammering. He was yelling that they were driving him fucking nuts. Howard said the guy is on fire all day long. Robin said he's up to such outrageousness. Howard played another clip of Rapaport yelling at more construction guys. Howard said that stuff can make you insane. Howard said he's doing it from the 8th floor so they're pretty far away.
Howard said he has another clip of a woman talking about the horses going to the gate and talking about Sal the Turtle. Howard said she was all for the horse and thought it could be a winner.
Howard asked Sal how the marriage is. Sal said it's good. Howard laughed. Sal thanked him for the laugh. He said it really is all good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he got married in January to a woman he was with for 10 years. He said in May he found out she was having an affair with a guy who was her supervisor. The guy said she left him for that guy after just being married for 5 months. Howard asked how long she was with that guy. The guy said it appears it started in April. Howard asked what the guy wants from him. The guy said he's looking to get revenge. He said they're still married but they are going to divorce. Howard said she's gone so he doesn't need advice. Howard asked what he's going to do. Howard said a lot of girls have dumped him. He said you just go on and try to find a new one. Robin said she did him a favor and moved on.
Howard asked how she would get revenge. the caller said he could get the person fired for doing what he did. Howard said just let her go on with her life. Howard said what Rapaport would do is go fuck the guy. Howard said if someone doesn't want you it's painful but you just have to let it go. Howard said if they don't want you then move on. He said plotting and thinking about what to do is a waste of time.
Howard said you just move on and let someone else be into you. Robin said that won't make things any better. Howard said maybe if she keeps her job she won't want so much from this guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he met Lady Gaga at a concert and he got to hang out with her for like 20 minutes. He said they talked about her first experience on Howard's show and he's really excited for her coming in today. Howard said she's tuning up in the green room right now. The caller said he had more to say but he lost his train of thought. Howard told him to call back another time. He said he has to take a break anyway.
Howard said they have a bunch of video of Green Day up on HowardStern.com. He said he had to take a break after that. As they went to break they played a Baba Booey song parody and Ben Stern singing ''Ol' Man River.'' They also played a ''Siri'' commercial parody and Weezer performing ''Beverly Hills'' in the Howard Stern Show studio.
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Howard came back and said he has Lady Gaga there. He asked if she likes the Black Crows. Lady Gaga said she does. She sang along with the song Fred was playing. Howard asked what they're calling her now. He asked if it's Joanne. She said some are calling her that. She said her fans were told they can call her Joanne. She said it's her middle name and it's her father's sister's name. She died at 19 from Lupus. Howard said Joanne was close to her father but she died so young. Howard said she didn't even meet her. Lady Gaga said she was a goddess that they worshiped in the house. She said they all talked about her at every family meal. Howard said when someone dies that young they become surreal and you make up a fantasy life. Howard said his aunt died when he was young. He said she became bigger than life for him. Lady Gaga said that's what Joanne was to her. Howard asked if she ever thought about her watching down on her. Lady Gaga said she did. Howard said he thought about his aunt watching down on him when he was masturbating.
Robin asked if she was channeling her aunt when she was writing the album. Lady Gaga said she's thinking more about that now after writing the album. She said it was tough in her family. She said that it was tough before she was even born. Howard said he didn't know that you could die from Lupus. Lady Gaga said people are still dying from it. She said people live in pain with it. She said it's a hard thing to live with. She said it's painful and it moves around the body so it's hard to find it. She said it inflames.
Lady Gaga said her aunt was sexually assaulted in her dorm room and her disease flared up and it came on very quickly and killed her. Lady Gaga said that she never knew why her dad drank so much when she was growing up. She said that she thought it was her fault but this album for her was healing the wounds of growing up in a tough family and figuring it all out.
Howard said the album ''Joanne'' is really about her. Lady Gaga said it's about seeing herself in her fans. She said that she was living in the city and she was trying to figure things out. She said fame monster for her was her experiences with fame and all of that. She said that she has always written about fame but more in a conceptual way.
Howard asked if she feels artists are jealous of her. Lady Gaga said she doesn't know about that. Howard asked if she likes going on Twitter and hearing from people. Lady Gaga said she doesn't know. She said she has thick skin. She said Joanne was tough. She said she knew she was going to die but she still made it through in some way. She said she's tough too. Lady Gaga said she thinks that being an artist is all about the music. She said that the music culture dies if you all try to slit each other's throats.
Howard said the outfit she's wearing today is something else. He said she's got short shorts on. He said she is so free with her body. Howard said she just does her thing. Howard said the whole look is good. Robin said she saw her on Saturday Night Live and she thought it was amazing with the second outfit. Howard asked if she had a good time doing Saturday Night Live. She said they take care of her over there. Howard asked if she has to go in all week or just once. Lady Gaga said they work their asses off over there. She said they work every day and she had to do that when she was hosting. She said she had to prepare for her performances this week so she turned down doing a sketch with Tom Hanks this week. Lady Gaga said one guy has been there like 60 years working the cameras.
Howard said he worried for her when she was climbing on camera. He said he was worried she'd fall. Howard asked if she has ever fallen off the piano. She said she would just say it was performance art if she did fall. Howard said so many artists have fallen off stage. Lady Gaga said so many things can go wrong.
Howard asked about Lady Gaga saying that her hearing is shot. She said it's not the same it used to be. She said she plays in stadiums and people are all screaming. Howard asked if she can wear something to now blow her ears out. Lady Gaga said if you have a microphone on then it doesn't matter. She said if you wear a multi-directional microphone it can help. She said it picks up crowd sound though. She said she has to sing with the crowd like that. She said she wants to hear the crowd sometimes so she rips the ear piece out.
Howard said some artists will pull an ear bud out. Lady Gaga said it can be either that you can't hear or you want to hear the fans. Howard said he would do that if he was a rock star. Lady Gaga said she doesn't like to do that. She said she has had problems hearing at times. Howard said he would love to just keep ripping the ear piece out if he was on stage. He said he'd be like a clown car pulling them out one after another.
Howard said Lady Gaga performed with Bowie at the Grammy Awards. Howard said she did the ''Sound of Music'' performance on the Academy Awards too. Howard asked how much she had to prepare for that. Lady Gaga said she had to quit smoking and work on that hard. She said she can be really nervous for months before and then the night of it she's rock solid. She said her fans have been so supportive of her. Howard asked if she ever gets off stage and gets pissed at herself for not doing well. Lady Gaga said she's gotten to a different place now. She said it's almost like a misogynist thing that's been put on women. She said that you have to have everything just perfect. She said a lot of artists don't even sing live on TV. Howard asked if that drives her crazy as an artist. Lady Gaga said she doesn't respect it but it doesn't drive her crazy. Lady Gaga said it's more of a shoulder shrug thing.
Howard said it's a whole production doing a show now. He said there's a lot of dancing going on. Lady Gaga said she loves doing that so she can't blame it all on the boys. Lady Gaga said she is 30 now and she's leaned a lot. She said she puts a lot of time into rehearsal and then she goes out on stage and prays to god and does it.
Howard asked Lady Gaga about the tattoos she has. He asked if she's going to keep going. Lady Gaga said she hopes to have full sleeves by the time she's 75. She had a David Bowie tattoo on her that Howard wanted to see. She showed it to him and Howard said that's good. She said Mark Mahoney did it. She said it was such an honor to have him do it. Howard said that look was probably his best. Lady Gaga said she wanted to tribute him and that's how she began by stealing that look for her first show.
Howard asked if it's weird that they like to have the pain from the tattoo. Lady Gaga said it can help stop the sadness when you have pain from the tattoo. She said that she's not saying that it's a good thing to get the pain to forget the emotional pain. Howard asked where the worst pain was for her. Lady Gaga said she finds the wrist to be really painful. Howard asked if she's done the back of her neck. She said she did her skull. She said she has an angel on her skull. It's under her hair. She said she has some on her rib cage too and they're painful.
Howard asked if she's going out on tour for this album. Lady Gaga said she is. She said it's so cool to see people seeing her perform the songs for the first time. She said she's doing some small shows to warm up. She said she's craving and in need of human connection so that's the whole point of the album.
Howard said he thinks the song she's doing today is about her ex. She said it's about all of the men in her life. She said there are a lot of reasons to walk away so that's what it's about. Howard asked about how she wrote this song. Lady Gaga said that she and her co-writer Hillary were talking and she mentioned how all of these guys give her so many reasons to walk away. She said Hillary thought it was a great idea and she had to run with it.
Howard asked if she bought Frank Zappa's house. She said she did and she got to keep the board he had in his recording studio. She said she wants to keep it the way it is and hear the sound that comes out of it. Howard asked if it's in the basement. She said the whole basement is two studios. She said it's stunning and beautiful. Howard asked if that's what attracted her to the house. She said it was. She said she loves the house. She mentioned Mark Ronson helping her out and Howard said he saw him up on stage with her at Saturday Night Live. He said he loves the end of Saturday Night Live when they stand up there saying good night and they cut it off early this week.
Howard asked if Lady Gaga goes to the after party for Saturday Night Live. She said she had to perform for Howard this morning so she went to her parent's house and had dinner with them and rested. She said she is friends with some people like Elton John and she sees that they're not out partying and getting wasted. Howard said he agrees with her on that. Howard said you can't be doing stuff like that.
Howard asked Lady Gaga about her voice coach and who he trains. She said he works with Mick Jagger, Billy Joel, Christina Aguilera and others. She said she could go on and on. She said it's serious rock and roll vocals. She said she met the guy at 13. Howard asked if she thought it was some kind of come on. Lady Gaga said she was told he had no room for her but he had to figure out a way to fit her in. She said she performed Mariah Carrey's ''Hero'' for him. Howard asked what he taught her. She said he taught her a technique about how to sing. She said she likes to yell and scream. She said that she was in a Led Zeppelin cover band at 16. She said she loved singing ''Black Dog.'' Howard said that's a hard one. She said it's not that hard. Howard asked if this guy could teach him to sing. Lady Gaga said she thinks he could. Howard said his piano teacher killed himself and he thinks it was because of him. Lady Gaga said he's giving himself too much credit. Howard said he had no idea she was in a Led Zeppelin cover band. She started singing ''Black Dog'' for Howard.
Lady Gaga told Howard about learning to sing and how to use your vocal chords the right way. She said there are different ways to things. Howard gave her a demonstration of his singing after she demonstrated.
Howard asked if she's going to keep the name of Frank Zappa's recording studios the same. She said she is. She said her friends can come and paint on the walls and it's going to be a place for creativity and love.
Howard asked about who hangs out at her house. Lady Gaga told Howard about the friends she has who hang out with her. She said she has her band and other people who perform with her. She said they're all like 30 and they have a whole group that hang out. Howard asked if other people come and go from the house. Lady Gaga said if you don't have an ego then you're free to come and go as you please. Howard asked if people have keys to the house. Lady Gaga said it's not a free for all. She said she's not just handing out keys to people. Howard said it sounds like a lot of fun. Lady Gaga said there are a lot of rooms at the house.
Howard asked if he has a song in his head can he just come over. Lady Gaga said he can call her and she'll set it up. She said there's a room in the house that's great for reverb. She said you can sing in the room and it sounds great. She said she thinks Frank used to just scream in there.
Howard asked if she's doing A Star is Born with Bradley Cooper. She said she is. She said Bradley asked her to do it after she did a show. Howard asked if he calls her Joanne, Gaga or Stephanie. She said he calls her Stephanie, her real name. Howard asked what he should call her. She said Gaga is fine. Howard said maybe Lady Joanne. She liked that too.
Howard said Lady Gaga played a character in American Horror Story who stays youthful by drinking the blood of youthful humans. Howard asked who makes that kind of decision to put her in that. She said that was one thing but the Bradley Cooper thing was different. Howard asked if she liked doing the Sopranos. She said she did and it was very exciting. Howard asked if she loved winning the Golden Globe for American Horror Story. She said she did. She said it was amazing. Lady Gaga said that was something that took a long time to create and work with. She said it meant a lot to her that she was recognized for it.
Howard asked what she's doing with A Star is Born and if she thinks they can improve on the first two. She said she doesn't want to give anything away but she's read the script and it makes her cry. Howard asked if Bradley wrote it. She said he's integral in writing it. She said this is his passion project and she's honored to be in it. She said he's directing it and starring in it. She said he's becoming the character already. Lady Gaga said she did one of her songs on the show and she broke down crying after it. She said the lyrics of the song meant a lot to her and she felt relieved after doing it. She said Bradley and Dave Chappelle were there for her. She said they both told her she did it.
Howard asked if Bradley is living the whole thing before the movie. Lady Gaga said they are trying to get to know each other. She said he's like she is when it comes to that. Robin said the relationship between the characters is all about supporting the character. Howard asked when they're filming this movie. She said she doesn't want to give that away. Howard asked why Warner Brothers made her audition for this. She said she doesn't know but she's fine with it. She said they shot a scene with Bradley and she got the job. She said it feels good to get a job like that. She said it's less fun when they just hand you shit.
Howard said this is a romantic movie. Lady Gaga said it's about the inner workings of becoming a star. Howard asked if she's ready to do love scenes with Bradley. She said she has done them before. She said she's ready. Howard asked if a true romance could come out of this. Lady Gaga said absolutely not. Howard said you can fall in love on the set of a movie though. Lady Gaga said if you really love someone you put the work first. She said she wants to put a story together that touches the hearts of the audience.
Howard asked what else she's up to. Lady Gaga said she's doing the half time show at the Super Bowl next year. Howard said she did the Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl. She said the NFL wanted to hear the new record so she played the new album and they loved it. She said that sealed the deal. Howard asked if they pay her for it. She said you don't get paid for doing it but you get to perform on the biggest stage in the world. Robin asked if it costs her anything. She said she doesn't pay to do it. Howard asked if her breast will pop out like Janet Jackson. Lady Gaga said no way. She said that she sometimes has to have her underwear glued to her because she has those little shorts she wears. Howard said it's very revealing. Howard asked if she's wearing panties today or if she's glued. She said she isn't glued today. Lady Gaga said she had to be glued on Saturday Night Live. She said that Brandon can't watch because he's afraid something will pop out. She said he glued her underwear on to make sure. She said he didn't tell her he did it so when she went to the bathroom she wasn't able to get them off. She said she was like ''What the fuck?'' Howard asked what kind of glue it was. She said it must be some kind of pussy glue or something.
Howard said he's so shocked by this. Lady Gaga said she wasn't even told that it was glued. She said imagine your boxers are glued to your dick. Howard said he can't imagine that. Howard said if she's not fully shaved you'll pull out every hair. She said that's for her to know and Howard not to know.
Howard asked if she stays in touch with Tony Bennett. She said they do stay in touch. Howard said she's sold a lot of records with him. Lady Gaga said her manager didn't want her to do the album with him. She said that she had to do it. Lady Gaga said she's never trying to be trendy. She said she's interested in creating something that moves it forward. She said she has built a much deeper connection with her fans so she doesn't have to be trendy. She said her fans see that they don't have to come to the system. She said that you make a record about your family and it gets put into the system.
Howard said you can only do what's in your head. She said there was a time when she had sold 20 million albums with her first two albums and then her third sold only 10 million. She said when you start out so big and you don't achieve that again they think you're over. She said that's the culture now. Howard said you have to worry about success. Robin said she was reading about how she's positioning herself in different ways.
Howard asked if she's getting political at all. Lady Gaga said there are some songs that are political. She said she has a song about Trayvon Martin and the killing of young black men in this country.
Howard said he's going to play some of her songs and ask questions about them. Howard played her song ''A-Yo'' and let that play for a short time. Howard asked how long it took to write that one. She said it was like 10 minutes with her co-writer Hillary. Lady Gaga asked Howard to let it play longer. She said they came up with that one in her living room.
Howard asked about recording the song and if she hears it and thinks she should have done it differently. She said not with that one. She said she hears that and thinks it's a hit. She said she's not approaching this record in the same way as others. She said she's going to make videos and sing the shit out of it and sell it old school.
Howard played some of her song ''Perfect Delusion'' and asked why she wrote it on a typewriter. She said it was inspiring to do it that way. She said it wasn't the internet or anything. Howard asked if she uses white out. She said she doesn't. She said she'll just write with pen over it if she screws something up.
Howard asked if Lady Gaga keeps all of her written stuff. She said her mom has it. She said she has a place where she stores her clothing and things like that. She said she hasn't gone back to look at the old stuff though. She said she thinks about it and it's like a funeral because she's lost some people. She said the stuff that hasn't gone there yet is some archives of this designer who worked for Yves Saint Laurent. She said that she had to have it.
Howard asked if Lady Gaga is reading any books. She said she's reading ''Slaves of New York'' and it's a pretty dark book. Howard asked if she's vegan. She said she's not. She said she's really excited about music and she's spending a lot of time with her family. She said her dad didn't get to spend time with his sister so she's spending time with her family. She said she did a signing at her dad's restaurant Joanne. She said it's really good food. She said her whole family is special and important to her. She said that's what his record is about. Lady Gaga said people in this world are suffering and she just prays for a peaceful election day. She said she hopes we're all respectful of the way people vote. She said it should be a peaceful day and that's what she's hoping for.
Howard asked if she dates a guy does her father have to approve. She said no but that's what her dad thinks. Howard asked if she would listen to him if he asked her not to date a guy. She said she's been a rebel so she won't listen to him if he tells her not to do something.
Howard asked how a guy gets to date her since she's single again. Lady Gaga said she likes a guy with balls. Howard said that counts him out. Lady Gaga said she cares about her work and all of that. Howard asked if she's looking for someone. She said she's not really. She said Taylor was her lover and friend for a long time. She said they're both very supportive of each other. Howard said there's always one in the relationship who gets angry. Howard said he thought she had found love. She said she did. Howard asked if it's just too hard to be in a relationship when you're working as hard as she is. Lady Gaga said it's not about that. She said life changes and we all go through different stages and you focus on different things. She said Taylor was very supportive through all of it. She said there's a lot on the album that was about their relationship. She said she has nothing but resect for him.
Howard asked if the song she's going to perform is about Taylor. Lady Gaga said it's about all of the men in her life. She said it's not just one. She said it's never just about the guy. She said it's about all guys. Howard asked why she has daddy issues. Lady Gaga said ask her therapist. She said she's there with her. Howard said he wants to interview her. Howard said get her in there. Howard said he thought he was messed up. She said she has to be there for her fans. She said the whole world is listening and she cares about them. Howard said he thought that there were boundaries with a therapist. Lady Gaga asked if Howard just talked to her about boundaries. Howard laughed and said he did. She said she's not a perfect person. She said she's not rolling around in her car counting her money every day. She said she has a friend who has stage 4 cancer and she has friends who are sick. She said she and Taylor lost 3 friends in the past year. Howard said he thought he'd be at the wedding. Lady Gaga told him he has to let it go. Howard said he has to find her a guy. Lady Gaga said it's such a blessing that she gets to see another day. She said she doesn't need Howard setting her up.
Howard said the song she's going to perform is called ''A Million Reasons.'' Lady Gaga said it really is about all of the men in her life. She said she thinks about who she's writing about and she thought of this woman with her kids and all of the stuff going on in her life and trying to relate to what Lady Gaga is singing about. Howard said he thinks back to starting out in radio and how he was making people laugh in their car. Howard said he thought about one guy in his car being miserable and he's making him laugh. Lady Gaga said she thought about that one woman who can relate to what she's singing about.
Howard said it's about time to play the song. He asked if he should vamp while he's walking over there. She asked him ''Please don't.'' Howard said she's really had it with him today. Howard told her to take her time and he'll talk to Robin. Lady Gaga said Robin is the best. She said she gets to look at Robin while she sings. Lady Gaga said she wrote this song for women all over the world. She said it was number 1 on iTunes in Saudi Arabia. Howard said that must be a rush. Howard said that's beautiful. She said she wrote it for the guys out there too because they can hear how much they need their love too. Howard said if men can hear the song then maybe we'd appreciate women more. Lady Gaga said it's a healing she wants to put into the world. She said that's what the album is about. Lady Gaga performed her song ''A Million Reasons'' after that.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Robin said she's crying. Howard said she got him with that one. Howard said it gives him the chills. He said that was fantastic. Lady Gaga was crying too. Howard said it takes everything out of her. Lady Gaga said she just wants women to be heard. She said she's not a man hater. She said she just wants women to be heard. She said when they love a man they just love them so much. She said whenever she'd ask her dad to stop drinking she'd wonder why he would pick the drink over her. She said she just wants women to be heard but not in a way that men are bad. She said we're so divided in this country right now. She said we're all alienated with our phones and all of that. She said that song is about the toughest part of her day when she needs someone.
Howard said there's a lot of heavy stuff on this album. He said he was listening to the song Diamond Heart and that was about dudes too. Howard said last time she was there she talked about being assaulted and she sings about that. Lady Gaga said it is about that. She told Howard some of the lyrics of the song. Howard played the song ''Diamond Heart'' after they talked about it. Howard said he bets the therapist is taking a lot of notes out there right now. Howard asked if she over writes for an album and then picks a bunch to put on the album. Lady Gaga said they wrote a lot of songs. She said she and Mark Ronson picked them. Howard said the album is called ''Joanne'' and it's out now. Howard said he loves that she performed the song. Howard said they just love her. Howard gave her a plug for her web site LadyGaga.com. Howard said they have to thank Steinway for the piano today too. Lady Gaga said she used to walk around the Steinway store when she was a kid and play them there. Howard said she caught the bug early too. Lady Gaga said that you have to let your kid play if they feel they want to. She said just let your kid be who they are. She said it builds good relationships too. She thanked Howard for letting her be there. She said it means a lot to her fans and to her grandma who she won't let listen to the show. Howard said she's said it all. They talked about her mention of pussy glue. Lady Gaga said she doesn't even like that word. She said it's used for weak people and that doesn't seem right. Howard said they used to have Frank Zappa on the show all the time. Howard said he wonders what's going on at that house. She said Howard should come see it. She said you can feel him there. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played Cyndi Lauper's cover of ''Crossroads'' with Jonny Lang.
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Howard said there's a lot going on with her. Howard said he was surprised that her therapist was there. Robin said she doesn't think that would have been good for Gaga.
Howard said they should do the news and get out of there. Robin said she wants to sing now. Fred played her into her news with a song parody about her ''big black balloons.'' Howard said he loves it when Robin sings. Fred played some clips of Robin singing. Howard said he wants her to sit at that piano and sing right now. Robin said she wants to sing the song she just did. Howard said he would love that.
Howard said Lady Gaga bought donuts for everyone there and they're all out there pigging out. Howard said he asked her how she stays so thin. He said she's working out and preparing for that movie. Howard said he wishes they had tapped into Robin for that role. Robin said she'll have to ask Bradley about that when he comes in.
Robin said Bill Murray was honored this weekend for the Mark Twain award. Robin said they awarded him for his comedic abilities and he was funny even while accepting an award. Robin said he barged into the press room as the press secretary was winding up. Robin said he was answering questions and doing some funny stuff. Robin had some audio of Bill Murray doing his thing. Howard said everyone loves Bill Murray. Robin said when he got his award he handed it to someone and said pass it around. Robin said Tina Fey, Will Ferrell and Eddie Murphy have also won the Mark Twain Award. Howard said that's airing later this week. He said he has to watch it because Letterman is on it. Howard said he read an article about Dave and they said Dave said his son was scared of his beard. Howard said he doesn't blame him. Howard said Bill Murray came in on Saturday Night Live in the second year and replaced Chevy Chase. Howard said he started doing all of those great bits and he won everyone over. Then he did one good movie after another.
Robin read a story about Bob Dylan who was given the Nobel Prize for Literature and hasn't returned any calls about it. Howard asked if he's insulted by the award. Robin said no one knows. Robin said he was traveling somewhere and he didn't mention it but the Rolling Stones did. Robin said the Nobel people are saying it's impolite and arrogant to ignore them like this.
Robin said she was watching a commercial the other day and Stephen Hawking was in it. Robin had Howard play some of the audio from the Jaguar commercial. Howard asked what happened to hot chicks selling cars. Howard said that was for Jaguar. Howard asked if anyone else is thinking he's a total sell out for doing commercials. Robin said she thinks it's great he can capitalize on his fame. Howard said not him. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about a judge who gave a 60 day sentence to a man who repeatedly raped his 12 year old daughter. Robin said he gave him a long sentence but suspended it. Robin said he may only spend 30 days in jail. Robin said they say that the reason the sentence was handed out is because that's what the legislature has allowed the judges to do in that stage. Robin said he could get as much as 25 years.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks Lady Gaga is the best singer in America right now. She said she doesn't get why people think Beyonce is the one who get the attention because Lady Gaga comes up with so many new ideas. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said you can't single out just one. Robin said Gaga does write and sing and she's fantastic but everyone does what they do. Robin said it's like saying Picasso is the greatest of his era. Robin said there were a lot of other great painters. Fred played her news theme song.
Robin read a story about a photo of Taylor Swift being groped by a DJ that won't be released. Robin said they have Taylor's deposition where she says she's never felt that way before.
Robin read a story about how some people who joined the military are being forced to pay back their bonus. Robin said she had that happen to her kind of. She said she was paid more than she was supposed to be paid for her rank. Robin said she didn't handle the paperwork herself. She said that some guy handled the paperwork for her but she was investigated over it. Robin said she started yelling at this major who was questioning her about it. She said she was upset about being accused and investigated. Robin said then they came back to her and said that she didn't appear to do it on purpose. Howard asked how much she was over paid. Robin said she has no idea. Robin said then they wanted the money back. She had spent it not knowing it wasn't what she was supposed to be paid. Then they cut her salary to pay them back. Robin said she was 25 at the time. Robin said they extended her time in the military too. Robin said this JAG attorney told her not to worry about it. She said one year she opened her tax return and it was gone. Robin said they got it. Robin said in this case a woman has to shell out $650 a month to pay back her bonus. Robin had audio of the woman talking about how she's going to go broke from this. Robin said the L.A. Times reports that some of these people are being forced to pay back up to $15,000 in bonuses. Robin said they fucked up but the troops have to pay.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump getting an endorsement from Nevada's largest newspaper. Robin said the Review Journal has endorsed Trump. Robin said this is his first major endorsement. Howard asked if that's true. Robin said he got some in the primaries but not in the election.
Robin said Selma Hayek has come out to say that she believes the 11 women who have come out against trump. Robin said she claims that Trump tried to get her phone number but she turned him down. Then a story came out about how he would never date her because she's too short. Then trump contacted her and apologized and tried to get her to go out with him that way.
Robin said on Saturday Night Live this week they did another recap of the debates. Robin had some audio from Saturday Night Live where Alec Baldwin did his Trump impression. Robin said she thought Chris Wallace did an incredible job getting the candidates to talk about the important points. Robin said he's getting a lot of positive feedback about that.
Howard asked what's up with Stephen Baldwin saying his brother's impression of Trump isn't funny. Howard said even if you're for Trump you have to admit it's a good impression. Robin had some audio of Stephen talking about how it's not funny because the election is serious. Howard laughed. He asked if he really thinks there's nothing funny in this election. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said maybe it's tough for Stephen to watch his brother doing something really good. He said maybe there's some sibling rivalry going on there. Howard said you'd think he'd just admit his brother is good. He said it's his brother.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump's campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, and how well she's handling things. Robin said Trump started a speech off talking about the women who are accusing him and how he's going to sue them. Robin said Conway says that it's a matter of putting them on notice that they can't make false accusations. Robin had some audio of Conway talking about how their claims are all lies.
Robin read a story about Eric Trump being out on the campaign trail and talking about the difference between the supporters of Trump and Clinton and how the enthusiasm levels are off the chart for his dad. Howard said he can't wait for this to be over so Trump can come back in there and evaluate women. Howard wondered how he would evaluate Kellyanne Conway. Robin said she doesn't think he'd be able to do that. Robin had some more audio of Eric Trump talking about the women coming out about his father and how he finds it hard to believe. Fred played a clip of Mick the Nerd after hearing Eric Trump speak. They sound very much alike.
Robin said Donald Trump thinks he's doing much better with women than he is with men. Robin had some audio of Trump making a speech and talking about the polls. He said he thinks they're doing better with women than with men. Howard laughed and said ''What?''
Howard took a call from Spoken Word Robin who had some things to say about Donald Trump. They had her saying that Donald Trump grabbed her by the pussy and that he had a huge penis. They also had her saying that he fucked her big black titties. Howard said this is probably her most explosive poetry slam he's ever heard. Robin said she thinks she's lost her mind. Howard said it's already the lead story on Drudge.
Robin read a story about the fighting going on in Mosul and had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin said we've lost two soldiers this weekend over there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said the World Series is set. She asked if Howard knows who's in it. Howard said he knows Chicago is in it but he didn't know the Cleveland Indians were in it. Robin said the Cubs haven't won since 1908 and the Indians since 1948. Robin said game one is tomorrow night.
Robin read a story about drinking two sweet drinks a day could double a person's risk of getting diabetes. Robin said stay away from those sugary drinks.
Robin read about a new phone scam that's happening. Robin said it could cost people thousands of dollars. Robin said they call and say that a family member has been kidnapped and you have to send money to save them. Howard said Robin fell for that. Robin said she was on the internet and she got an email about it. That wasn't a phone scam. Robin said officials have suggested staying calm and text the loved one to make sure they're okay instead of giving them money.
Robin read a story about Amanda Knox and how she was accused of murder but acquitted but people are still accusing her of murder and calling her names.
Robin read about Grace Kelly's family buying her childhood home. Robin said they are going to buy the home which is in a section of Philadelphia.
Robin read a story about AT&T and Time Warner merging. Robin said the government broke up AT&T for being too big years ago and now they're getting bigger and bigger. Robin said the deal is $109 billion. Fred played Sour Shoes saying ''Noine'' a bunch of times after Robin said 109.
Robin said Kanye West is planning to boycott the Grammy's if Frank Ocean isn't nominated. Robin said he must not know there are a lot of bigger things going on in this world. Howard said he doesn't even know Frank Ocean. Robin had some of his music for Howard to hear. Howard said he's thinking of going on a hunger strike based on what he just heard. Robin said Kanye says he won't show up at the Grammy's if Frank isn't nominated. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
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Howard started the show talking about today's show. He had a clip of Marfan Mike announcing who they have coming up on the show today. Howard said it's another musical day. Marfan Mike said they have Bon Jovi coming in today. Howard asked how he can't be in the Wack Pack. Robin asked when they're going to vote. Howard said they have to make sure George Soros doesn't own the voting machine.
Robin said she wasn't able to get in her studio this morning because there's so much equipment there for Bon Jovi. Howard said they're going to do a few songs today. He said they have a lot of stuff there.
Howard said he has a phony phone call where Marfan Mike calls a vending machine company and he says he's stuck in a machine. In the clip Mike says he's in the vending machine and he sounds like this because his face is pressed against the glass. The woman on the line says she's not able to understand him. Mike tells her that he's in Alabama. She doesn't understand him. The woman asks where he is located again and goes through the whole alphabet trying to spell where he is. He spells out FUCK and the woman says they're going to get the call traced and then they hang up.
Howard said he rests his case for Mike being in the Wack Pack. He said he loves that. He said it's a big hit around there.
Howard said he can see many bits with that guy. He said imagine him in My Fair Lady. He played a clip of Mike trying to say ''The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain'' and other lines from the movie.
Howard played a song parody about Marfan Mike where they sing about how he's the next Wack Packer. Howard said that's Eli Braden jumping in on that. Robin said he makes a point that High Pitch Erik hating him makes him a Wack Packer. Howard said in next week's phony phone call he'll be stuck in a fish tank.
Howard asked the guys if they lowered the air in there when they were setting up the equipment. Howard said he has cold air blowing on him. Jim came in to change the setting. Howard thanked him for coming in to fix that. Howard said he just got his headphones for his iPhone. Howard said they're Bose wireless headphones. Howard said they have to be charged so it's a pain in the ass. Robin said she has the 7 with the headphones in there. Howard said they'll talk about this off the air. Howard said Robin has the attachment for the headphones. Howard said they're for the wired headphones but you can't charge it when you have that plugged in. Howard said she's impossible. Howard said she's always up to something.
Howard said he ate his dinner around 4:30 and watched Neal Cavuto. Howard said he's having a wild life. He said he sits home and watches TV. He said he watched The Walking Dead after dinner. Robin said she was going to watch it again but she couldn't take it. Howard said he watched The Strain too. Howard said he loves that show more than anything. Robin said they had the same afternoon. Howard said he moved up to the bedroom and figured he should jerk off before watching The Strain. Howard said he masturbated and YouPorn has this new technology where they know he likes step brothers and step sister porn. Howard said he doesn't really like it but he does watch it. He said that they're all adults by the way. Howard said he likes the acting part of it. He said some of them he believes. He said last night this step sister gets seduced but she has tramp stamp tattoos and stuff. He said that kind of ruins the illusion.
Howard said he watched The Strain and that's another very good show. Howard said it's so good. He said he went from zombies to vampires. Robin said you have to be afraid of humans after watching The Walking Dead. Howard said TV is so good that it's better than movies.
Howard said he watched some of The Talking Dead and it's so funny. He said they're the biggest fucking assholes on that show. Robin said they acted like real people died. Howard said the guy who hosts the show, Chris Hardwick, was talking about it like they lost people in their family. Howard played a clip and said he had to turn it off. Robin said she had to turn it off when she saw that. Howard said he has to make something out of it. Howard said they should call this The Gathering of the Stupid. Howard played more audio of Hardwick talking about the deaths in their family. Howard said they should call it the Talking Nonsense.
Howard played a clip of Yvette Nicole Brown talking about the show and how she was feeling awful about the show. She said it was a rough night. Howard said he was masturbating 5 minutes after the show. Howard said it was a great episode and very well done but this chick is living it. Howard played another clip of one of the guests who said he wasn't expecting two deaths. Yvette said the way they lost people tonight was rough. Howard said she must think she's part of the show. Howard said she's fucked up and has to pull her shit together. Howard said it was too intense for her. Howard said he's proud he was jerking off 5 minutes after the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who was pretending to cry over The Walking Dead. Howard asked if he watched it on Sunday night and if he's been crying for 2 days straight. He said he's very dehydrated from crying so long. Howard asked if he's depressed. He cried and said she is. Howard laughed. Howard asked if he masturbated after. He said he did. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin said she didn't even want to see the guy who plays Negan come out on The Talking Dead. Howard said he's a good actor. Howard said he liked him on The Good Wife.
Howard said he generates more song parodies than Robin does. Howard took a call from a guy who said Bobo has to be the worst caller they've ever had. He said he fucks it up every time he calls in. Bobo asked what he has to say. The caller asked Howard about being in the business so long and he married a beautiful woman like Beth. Howard said he's in Bobo land now. He said he's not doing much better. The caller asked about the first time he was in bed with Beth and asked himself ''What the fuck?'' Bobo asked if this is really what he's asking. Howard hung up on the guy. Robin said she was hoping he hung up on both of them.
Howard was going to let Bobo go but Bobo said he has another question. He said this has been on his mind. He asked why David Lee Roth didn't use his resources to get hair like Elton John. Howard laughed and played another song parody about Bobo.
Howard said he doesn't know about David Lee Roth and why he didn't use his resources to get hair. Howard said he has a clip of Bobo talking about his hair procedure. Howard said he talked to Shuli about that. Howard played the clip and Bobo was talking about how he gets his real hair cut in the back and then he gets his hair piece fixed up. He said he has to get his ''system'' serviced. He said he has to ship it out to them and they have it fixed up for him. Bobo said he tells them to put more grey into it. He said it's at like 30 percent now. Bobo said he has two more coming to him. Howard said that's his whole hair procedure.
Robin asked if he has more than one hair piece. Howard said he must have more than one. Howard said the box must smell like a cadaver. He said he must have one for every mood he's in. He said as far as David Lee Roth goes he must have just decided that he'd rather go bald than worry about the fake hair. Howard said he would probably do the same thing. Howard said Elton John has a hair piece that looks like a wig so everyone knows he's got a wig on. He said it's like Bobo thinking no one knows. He said everyone knows. He said it's like Gary and his caps. He knew from the day he met him that he had caps. Howard said Bobo's hair rises off his real hair and he knows just from looking at him that he has a hair piece. Howard said he should take a break. Robin asked where Bobo is. Howard said he hung up on him a long time ago. He asked if she was enjoying the song parodies. Robin said she was. Howard played another one for her where the guy sang about banning Bobo from calling the show for life. Howard said there are a ton of them.
Howard said he stopped in JD's office when he came in this morning and he saw a story about the Cubs and Indians being in the World Series and he wonders how the Indians get away with the logo they have. Howard said it's a big smiling Indian with big teeth. Gary said they haven't been relevant in a long time and this may get the conversation going again. Howard said it reminds him of the old days when they had the big smiling black man with the big teeth. Howard said if that was a new logo they'd have a huge problem with the logo. Howard said they might as well just get a guy dressed in red face. Howard said it's like something Sal would design. Howard said he wonders how they're still doing that.
Howard said the native Americans here have had to go through so much. Robin said they killed, raped and took their land and then they make fun of them with the logo. Robin said there are hardly any Indians but they continue to use that logo. Howard said it's an outrage. He said it really is.
Howard said to stay on track here he should take a break and then play a song that Ronnie and Lenny Dykstra did together. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can get an update on Sal's hair plugs. Howard said he hasn't looked lately. He said he doesn't look like he's balding. Howard said they haven't been that consumed with him lately. Howard said he's more consumed with Ronnie and the nasty tweets he's put out about him lately. He asked what's wrong with him.
Howard said Ronnie must be upset that they spoke to Brent without Ronnie in there. Howard asked what's wrong with him. Ronnie came in and Howard asked if he screwed him yesterday. Ronnie said he didn't say anything about Howard. He said the ''they'' in his tweet was about the rats. Howard said he didn't know that he wasn't up there yesterday. He asked who is screwing Ronnie. Ronnie said it's about the rats. He said it wasn't about Howard. Howard asked who ''they'' are. Howard said he called for Brent. He said he didn't know that he was downstairs. Howard said they didn't know he was going to call for them. Ronnie said he didn't make a big deal out of it. Robin said it upset him. Ronnie said it did because he wasn't there to defend himself. He said the same thing goes on with the Wrap Up Show because he can't defend himself there either.
Ronnie said he went through this with his shrink and he thinks that Brent has problems. He said he feels sorry for him. Howard asked if he was told he's a bit paranoid. Ronnie said he wasn't. He said he was told he should feel bad for Brent because the guy has problems. He said he has to score points by ratting people out.
Howard asked what he would have said yesterday. Ronnie said this is what he's saying. He said he has no reason to talk to Brent. He said he's putting stuff up on Twitter about him. He said he's tweeting about how this isn't his first rodeo and he's been in the business for 23 years and all of that.
Brent came in and said that Bubba said he has an open door to go back there any time. Ronnie said he'd like to see him go back. He said he feels bad for Brent. Howard said he's sorry he feels he got sand bagged yesterday.
Howard asked Ronnie what he was upset about when he wasn't in there. He said he heard that he was trashing him in here. Ronnie said he feels bad for Brent because he isn't a loyal person. He said that he's been with Howard for 31 years. Brent said Ronnie isn't a radio person. He said he has to remember what his job is. Ronnie said Brent runs when the building starts to burn. He said Brent ran to California when things started to go wrong. Brent said he stayed until the end of Bubba's trial. He said he stayed until the end and Bubba was number 1 in the ratings when he left. He asked how it was on fire when he left. Ronnie said he still left. He asked why he left. Brent said it was right for him to leave at that time. He said he's not going to talk about why he left.
Howard took a call from Ronnie's therapist who was screaming about Ronnie and how he's one of his two clients. The other one is Charles Manson. He said he tells Ronnie he has to get paid in squirt and things like that. He said he has an online PHD. Howard said they don't take shit from anyone. The therapist said he doesn't take shit from anyone. Howard let the therapist go after that.
Ronnie said Brent is taking money out of people's pockets there. Brent said that show was never going to happen. He asked if he didn't hear what Howard said. Ronnie said if Howard doesn't know who is loyal around there then he has a problem. Howard said he knows he's loyal. Ronnie said Brent isn't loyal. Ronnie said he ran away from Bubba's show. Howard asked Brent to say something nice about Ronnie. Brent said he's a great guy. Ronnie said he has to go downstairs. He said he has to get the guests up there. Brent said Ronnie is there for Howard every day but he's a funny dude to observe. Howard asked Ronnie to say something nice about Brent. Ronnie said he has nothing to say. Howard asked if he can play the song he did with Lenny Dykstra. Ronnie said he has to go downstairs because Bon Jovi is more important than this stuff.
Howard asked if there is anything he likes about Brent. Ronnie said no. Howard asked what his favorite Bon Jovi album is. Ronnie said he likes One Wild Night. Howard said he's scaring him. Ronnie asked why. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they have to get rid of Brent because he is a rat. He said Ronnie should take him out. Ronnie said Brent is blocking people left and right about the rat thing. He said he's only keeping the people who are on his side.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard is worried about Ronnie being on team Bubba. Howard said he thinks he's clearly on team Howard. Howard said they're stirring up a lot of controversy with this.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he has to stick up for Ronnie today. He said Howard isn't like the police but he was trying to do something on the side with no harm no foul and this guy came along and ratted him out. Brent said this is a government worker's mentality.
Howard played the Ronnie and Lenny Dykstra song parody. They sang ''Love to Get Laid'' to the tune of ''I Got You Babe.'' Howard said that's something. Robin said that was pretty bad. Howard asked if Brent liked it. Brent said it was super creepy but he laughed. Ronnie said he has to get out of there. Robin said she can't believe he took that to his psychiatrist.
Howard asked what's going on with the bet he has with Memet. He said he has a bet with him about how many states Hillary will win in and the have to shave things if they lose.
Jeff and Howard talked about Hillary and how they think she'll do just fine as president and she may come out of it being just as good as Bill was.
Howard asked Memet if he's voting for Trump. Memet said he isn't but he doesn't think that Hillary will win 40 states. He said if she does he has to shave his head. He said Brent has to shave his pubes if he loses.
Howard asked if they can wax Brent on air if he loses. Brent said he can. He said he has a full bush going on down there too so it's not going to be an easy one. Memet said he can shave his head down bald if Trump doesn't get more than 10 states. Brent said that Ronald Reagan won 46 of the states. He said he thinks that it's a sure thing. Jeff said he's in Pennsylvania and Jersey every week canvassing for Hillary and there are still people who are undecided. Howard said he doesn't get how people are undecided.
The guys spent a few more minutes talking about the middle east and things like that. Howard said there's one web site saying that Trump is predicted to win 22 states. Howard said he may have to kiss his pubes goodbye.
Jeff said that Trump was an old friend of the show and all of this crap has come out. He said that Howard does this stuff in a certain context. He asked how he feels about being discussed in this way. Howard said in a million years he never expected trump to run for President. Howard said he did this stuff in the spirit of the show. He said he wasn't going to fuck him over by releasing the tapes. He said that was his stance. Howard said as far as his role goes he feels proud because no one else does an interview like he does. Howard said he does these interviews like real people. Howard said now all of these news people are picking up on the tapes because it was a real conversation. Howard said Trump was always rating women and talking in a misogynistic way. Howard said he did it proudly and in an open way. Howard said he still won the primary. Howard said he's proud of doing the interviews the way he does.
Robin said she read the Letterman article that Howard mentioned and letterman said he did his show a lot and he liked it but now he can't stand him. Howard said he's not saying that about Trump. He said he is a Hillary supporter though. Howard said he likes what she's done as a senator and secretary of state. Howard said he liked her as first lady too. Howard went over some other things he agrees with Hillary on and why he thinks people should vote for her.
Howard mentioned the open border thing and how he thinks that we can't turn our backs on immigrants. Howard said that's how this country got started. He said we do have to do checks and all of that and that's what Hillary is saying too.
Howard said he was pretty close to Trump. He said he went to his second wedding. Robin said he's heard things about him that he didn't know. Howard said he doesn't like those things either. Howard said he has said all along he's voting for Hillary and he's doing it with a smile on his face. Howard said he donated to Hillary's campaign too. Howard said he doesn't like to do that usually but he did donate to her because he does believe in her. Jeff said he thinks this is an emergency thing and he's wearing buttons and hats and all of that. He said he thinks that she should have done the show. Howard said they did put that out there for her. Howard said he said he only wants her to do it if it helps her. Howard said Trump decided to not come on the show either. Howard said he didn't speak to Hillary about it personally. He said he didn't put Trump on the spot either. Howard said he got the feeling he was avoiding it so he just left it alone. He doesn't put people on the spot.
Robin said she once donated to a campaign and they keep asking her for money. She said it's worse than any charity. Howard said his friend had a fund raiser and he donated through that so maybe that's why he's not being bombarded. Gary said he's donated too and he gets a ton of mailings from them. He said he feels like his money is being wasted because they spend so much on the mailings.
Robin said she gets email from Obama, Michelle Obama, Barbra Streisand and more. She said it's never ending. Howard said he really has to move on. He let Jeff go and went to break.
Howard said that's the stupidest phony phone call. He said it's just horrible. Howard said he heard that and wasn't going to put it on the air. He said his focus group there was chuckling though so he put it on. Howard said he does play them for you because why not?
Howard said getting Ronnie to sing that song with Lenny Dykstra wasn't easy. He said it was nearly impossible to get him to sing it. Howard played a recording session clip where they were trying to get Ronnie to sing his lines. Memet would sing the line and Ronnie would repeat after him. Ronnie was having a lot of trouble getting the lines out. Howard said Wendy follows direction better. Robin said even Beetlejuice does. Howard said not Beet. He said he's the toughest. Howard said they were trying to get him to say something the other day. He said it was funny. Gary said it was Lisa Lampanelli. Howard played a clip of Beet trying to say her name and saying ''Lisa Lampalovely'' and things like that. Howard said there was something else he tried saying that he wasn't going to play. He said it was impossible working with the guy.
Will said they were trying to get him to sing Bon Jovi. Howard said that was impossible. Howard played a clip of Beet singing some Bon Jovi. He was just arguing and rambling nonsense. Howard said everything is gay and cursing out with Beet. Howard said it was impossible to get Beet to sing the song. Howard said Ronnie is technically easier to work with than Beetlejuice.
Jason came in and told Howard that Gary unfriended him for goofing on the post he had about taking his son to the baseball game. Howard said he has to find the page where the clips are. Howard found the clips and played some from that day when he was goofing on Gary for unfriending him on Facebook.
Howard said Jason kept track of Gary's posts over the past year. Howard said in August he posted 3 different posts about a sunset. They were the same sunset. Howard said Gary has a breed of dog that's known for climbing trees and he posted a picture of a dog that was climbing a tree but it wasn't his dog. Gary said he looked up a ''tree climbing coon dog'' and he looked it up on the internet. Howard said Gary found the time to download that picture and put it on Facebook. Howard said the fucking free time this guy has. Robin said it had nothing to do with his own dog. Gary said if they're going to get into it they should talk about Robin posting shit. Howard said she has people doing that for her.
Howard asked Gary if he's spying on his neighbors. He posted something about his neighbors riding around in a horse and carriage in the neighborhood. Howard said maybe the guy wants his privacy.
Howard said Gary was out for a jog and he joined a marathon for a few miles. Jason said it's a selfie of Gary with a marathon behind him. He said that Gary will tell you every place he's jogged if you're out with him. Jason said he gets it, he jogs. Howard said he shares everything on his Facebook page. Howard wondered if that's healthy or unhealthy. Jason said he's not sure. Howard asked who Gary is showing this stuff to. Robin said he always has a story to share too. Howard said he has been around him when he talks about jogging. Jason said he talks about using the Nice band.
Howard said Gary posts about his love of Cheerios which he thinks that everyone is aware of. Howard read about how he thinks it's a well known thing. Robin said she didn't know that. Howard asked if he thinks he's some kind of superstar. Howard asked how people know. Gary said his friends how. He said any of his friends know that. Jason said he never eats them there. Gary said he eats them at home.
Howard said the other thing Gary does is post pictures of himself with celebrities. Jason said that's probably 50 percent of his posts. Howard said Gary should be stealth and be under cover.
Howard had a picture of Gary with Muhammad Ali when he died. Jason said he posted that the day Ali died. He said it was all about Gary. Howard said Gary posted pictures with celebrities at the Correspondents dinner. Howard looked at some of those and goofed on Gary about that.
Howard read more of Gary's post from the dinner and said it's all about Gary next to celebrities. Howard said he's glad he unfriended him. He said he reminds him of a 13 year old girl who went to a Taylor Swift concert. Howard said he has a lot of celebrity friends but he's not posting this stuff. Gary said this is supposed to be for close family and friends. Robin said she still sees it. Gary said he hasn't unfriended her yet.
Jason said he went through his Facebook page and there was something very special about seeing it en masse. Howard said Gary just wants to be a celebrity. Gary said he could go through Jason's page and show the pictures of Jason cooking animals on his smoker. Howard said that's pretty dumb too.
Howard said there's a picture of Ross and Gary with Miss Piggy. Jason said this is the best of the stuff they pulled. He said it's not all of it. Robin said she liked seeing Gary riding around on the golf cart. Howard said he's glad he didn't see that. He said that's what he doesn't want to see. Howard said Gary has more free time than anyone. Gary said he was on vacation. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody after that. Howard said that was James Cargille.
Jason said Gary posts a lot about vinyl on Facebook too. He said he has a lot of puns about it too. He said he's like Mr. Vinyl now. Howard said it's such nonsense. Gary said he said he enjoys vinyl and Howard is the one who changed it and made it seem like he only listens to vinyl. Howard asked why it's a thing he's posted. Gary said he doesn't think he's posted more than once or twice about vinyl. Jason said it's more than that. Gary said he's not embarrassed by it but he wants it to be true. Howard said he's the king of nonsense. Gary said that's Howard's truth. Howard said that's right. He said Robin has to monitor Gary's Facebook. Robin said whenever she goes in she'll check it. Jason said he may not be able to get in after this. Gary said he will only have 3 friends after this. He said he's not sure he can even trust his wife now. Howard said she has a great Facebook page. Howard said she doesn't post about her love of Cheerios. Jason said she just knows that she loves to paint and she's married. He said she doesn't post about this other nonsense. They went to break after Howard did a live commercial read.
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Howard came back and said he has the band Bon Jovi in the studio. Howard said look at him standing there. Howard said look who he's with. Howard said the band Bon Jovi is there. He said this is a professional outfit. Howard asked it's too early. Jon said it's not too early to be awake. He said it's pretty early to sing. Howard said his entire life singing has gone down at night. Jon said unless it's Howard or Lauer making him suffer. Howard said when he was in high school Jon would go to school and then take a nap and go out to clubs until about 3 in the morning performing. Jon said yes. Howard asked if he had a nap before school. Jon said it wasn't every night. He said David was in the band The Atlantic City Expressway. Howard asked if Jon finished school. Jon said he barely did. Jon said there was no plan B.
Howard asked how old Jon was when he got his first guitar. Jon said he was 13. Howard said he threw it down the stairs. Jon said he did that as rebellion. He said the sound it made was pretty cool too. Howard said his mom told him to clean his room and he threw it down the stairs.
Howard said they're going to work up through the new album. He said the band should be in the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Howard asked Jon what's going on there. Jon said he can't be as honest as he'd like to be. Howard said they have sold over 100 million albums. Jon said they say that it's got to do with influence on future generations. He said he had a run in with one of the guys who are on the board. He said that they have made it their personal mission to fuck with him. He said he gets it. He said he's sold more albums than their artists. He said he gets it. Jon said it is what it is.
Howard said the band has been around for how long. Jon said 33 years. Howard said their impact has been big. Howard asked who would argue with that. Jon said these two fuckers in the room might.
Howard asked Jon about taking guitar lessons from a lounge musician in the neighborhood. Howard said he was asked why he wanted to play and he said he wanted to get girls. Jon said he thinks that's most people's reason.
Howard said before Jon got big and famous he had to struggle. Howard said around 16 he met David and started a bar band. He said one of the reasons for that was Bruce Springsteen. Howard said Bruce got up and played with them one night. Jon said that it was all of those guys from the E Street Band. He said they were there. Jon said they grew up on 70s music and they had posters on their wall. He said it was all bigger than life. He said 30 miles down the road from where he was living these guys were playing. He said it was Bruce's band and the Asbury Jukes. He said chances are you're going to run into some of them. He said Southside produced some of his first demos.
Howard said Southside Johnny must have believed in him. Howard asked if Bruce was big at that time. Jon said he was by his standards. Howard said when he would take the stage with him when he was that age it must have been something. Jon said it was a major big deal. Howard asked if his point is that he sees the guy on stage and he thinks he can have a career in music. Jon said it's something like that.
Howard said Jon's parents didn't believe that he could make it as a musician. Jon said he thinks they did think he could make it. Jon said he was in the cover band with David and they were emulating the Jukes. He said he was the singer. Howard asked if he was getting girls. Jon said he wasn't suffering. He said the drinking age was 18 at that time. He said that was a big deal at the time. He said you could sneak in and play the bars at that time. Jon said he ended up quitting his own band. David said when you quit your own band that's bad. Howard asked if David told him he can't quit his own band. Jon said he did quit and joined another band as a lead singer. He said the only way to do it for real was to write his own songs. Jon said he knew it would be short lived if he didn't. Jon said bar bands were very talented in Jersey and Long Island. Howard said they get locked in though. Jon said he knew it was a dead end street. Howard said that was smart.
Howard asked Jon why he didn't write original songs with the band he was in. Jon said this other band was doing it already. He said the songs were pop songs. Howard asked if he felt weird writing his own stuff. Jon said he did. He said he wouldn't sing them now. Jon said the pop music in the 80s wasn't that deep. Howard asked if that's when he wrote Runaway. Jon said that band was very short lived. He said it was 6-9 months. Jon said he had a second cousin named Tony Bon Jovi. He said his father asked him to go see the band and Tony said the band was bad but the kid is good. He said he met Tony briefly. He said he got out of high school and then called the guy in 1980 and asked if he could go to the Power Station to work. He said today they call them interns but he was a go-fer. He said he was working there doing that stuff.
Howard said the cool thing was that he got to use the recording studio. Howard said he had to pay the guy for the time though. Howard said he got to meet Bowie there. Jon said he was there for some of the most incredible moments in rock history. He said he met Bowie when he was doing Let's Dance and Under Pressure and things like that. He said the Rolling Stones were getting out of a cab once and he had to count out the change to pay the guy. He said there was a Paparazzi guy there and he was taking pictures. He said Mick grabbed him and said this was his new band ''The New Frogs'' with him. He said he would pay anything for that picture if he could find it. Jon said the bigger the star the nicer the person. He said they were so great to him.
Howard asked if he was filled with rage and jealousy back then. Jon said he was playing the school gym and thinking they had made it already. Jon said he thought he was just fine playing the bars and doing what he was doing at the Power Station.
Howard asked if he wrote Runaway at the Power Station. Jon said it was during that time. Howard said he came up with the song and they went to WAPP in New York and gave the song to the DJ. He said the guy liked it and told him to put it on a Battle of the Bands record. Howard said they played the song and it became a hit. Howard said he must have been beside himself. Jon said it was cool. He said it wasn't his dream to be on a record like that. Howard asked if he submitted one song or more than one. Jon said it was just one. Howard said the song went up the charts a bit. Howard said he remembers hearing it. Howard said then he put together a band because he knew he needed one.
Jon said it was tough to do something like that. He said that it's hard to make money doing it. He said David had gone off to college at that time. Howard said what a pussy. Howard said Runaway becomes a hit for that station. Jon said he took advantage of that and played some local stuff. Jon said the original phone calls were for a temporary thing. He said he got David, Alec Such and the other guys. He said he asked them to do it in their spare time. He said they knew Tico and he had seen him play before. He said Tico was in another band that had a record deal. Howard said that must have been a big decision to make to leave that. Tico said they were dropped by the record company and they ended up breaking up. Tico said it was close to home and he heard the song. He said the rehearsal was only 5 minutes away. He said he checked it out and he had this feeling about Jon. He said he had a vibe. Tico said his first wife left after that. Howard said it was a wise decision.
Howard said you have to have the right drummer in a band. Jon said he has to give credit to Tico because he's the heartbeat of the band. Howard said he's heard that you have to have the right one. Jon said they have the right one.
Howard asked the guys to refresh everyone's memory and play some ''Runaway.'' They went right into the song. They did some of the song but not the whole thing.
After the song Howard asked how he came jump with the song. Jon said it took a couple of days. He said he was traveling and he would walk up to 53rd street. He said he saw kids working the street at the time and they had no place to go. He said Covenant House and the bus station were right there. He said it had social relevance until the video was made and he was embarrassed by it. Howard asked if he hated doing those videos. Jon said Runaway had some social relevance but the director came to him and said that he had a niece and he wanted to have her having fire shooting out of her eyes like Firestarter. He said that's what he did with the video. Howard asked if it's painful to see those videos now. Jon said they're like his baby pictures.
Howard said Jon gets his drummer and keyboard player and then Richie Sambora. Howard said Richie was auditioning for KISS. Howard said he knew to get in with Jon though. Howard said they signed with Polygram after that. Jon said Richie was at a show and he came back stage. He said Snake Sabo was playing with him at the time. He said they wanted to see how they wrote together so they did that and it was a magic combination. He said that was the magic link. Howard said the first album sold okay but not great. He said then they go out and play on tour. Howard said 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit was a bit hit. Jon said that's the temperature that rock melts at. He said that was genius. Howard said the third album, Slippery When Wet really hit it big. Howard said they were working hard on the road. Howard asked how long it took to write that one. Jon said it was like 6-8 weeks. Howard said that's really quick. Jon said it was. He said they had a lot of road experience and they broke away from the producer who worked on the first two records. Jon said they got this new producer and they had to go to Vancouver to do it. Jon said they all went up to do the album.
Howard asked if they knew it was going to be a breakthrough album. Jon said they were having fun doing it. He said Tears for Fears was popular on the radio at the time. He said that what they were doing didn't sound like anything anyone was doing. He said their producer was up and coming like they were. He said it was kismet. Howard said the first single was ''You Give Love a Bad Name.'' Howard played some of that and asked if they remember the song. Of course they did. Howard said that went to number 1 like a rock ship. Howard asked where they were when they heard they had a number 1 song. One of the guys said they were in South Dakota. Jon said that's when the album went to number 1. He said someone flew in on a charter flight to tell them.
Howard said the guys had one hit after another. He said they had ''Livin' on a Prayer'' at number one after that. Howard played some of that too. Howard said that's such a good song. He said Jon didn't want to put it on the album. Jon said he just thought it was okay. He said Richie told him he was nuts. Howard said Richie had to convince him he didn't know jack shit about his own songs. Howard played some ''Wanted Dead or Alive'' and said that was another number 1. Howard said the keyboard part made that song. Jon agreed. David said finally it's out.
Howard said that album had so many hits. Howard asked if he ever thought about how he should have saved them for other albums. Jon said he never thought about it like that. He said after that album life changed. He said they never opened for anyone after that. He said they never got on a bus either.
Howard asked if Jon had a nervous breakdown after that one. Jon said it was after the next one. He said they did 240 shows and the success skyrocket happens. He said they had to do it again. Jon said a year after they got off tour they came out with another album and did the same thing. He said the next album was New Jersey. Jon said he remembers just being tired after that. He said one guy in Dublin Ireland asked him what he was doing there. He said he thought it was a stupid question but he realized that he was wondering why he was there and not home enjoying the success of the album.
Howard said it has to take a toll on the guys. He said they had to work together so long. David said they were doing a lot of shows. He said they were playing almost every night. They lost their personal lives. Howard said they lose contact with family and friends. David said they didn't have cell phones back then to keep in touch.
Jon said a lot of great things happened with the success of that record but it burned them out. Howard said after that they can tell the record company what to do. Howard said they can fuck up and not be afraid to take charge. Jon said there were no issues with the company at the time. He said it was Dutch owned and there weren't that many watchful eyes. He said they gave them a chance to grow. Jon said they had a regime change after New Jersey. He said they were burned out though. Jon said the only thing he'd tell the younger us is that they should take their time and things will be okay. Howard asked if it was a relief to him when Bad Medicine was a hit. Jon said that was another number 1. He said it was both relief and joy. Jon said they never lacked for confidence. Jon said they worked very hard for that. Jon said it was too much in retrospect. He wishes the managers had told them to just rest.
Howard said it's time to go back in time and do some Bad Medicine. Jon said this goes back to 1989. They went into the song ''Bad Medicine.''
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked if that's still fun to do. Jon said it is. Howard said it's the coolest thing to be in a rock band. Jon said absolutely. Howard asked if it's like a boy's club. Jon said it is. Howard said it's like a little gang. Robin said Jon has to work so hard as a lead singer. She asked if he envies the other guys. Jon laughed.
Howard asked how many times they go into the studio an sing that song over and over. Jon said they go into the studio finished. He said the pre-production was in Tico's basement. He said they worked up the arrangement in there. Jon said they went into Tico's basement and worked on all of the songs. Tico said the price was right. Howard said they did the song over and over again in there. Jon said they did it until they were ready to go to Vancouver. Howard asked David if he's told what to do or does he do his own thing. David said they all come up with their own thing. He said you figure it all out there. Howard asked how many times Jon sings it before he's ready to go. Jon said you spend more time on the guitar and bass before the lyrics. He said the melodies and lyrics are already written.
Howard said they also had this one as a hit. He played some of their song ''I'll Be There For You'' and said that was another number 1 song. Howard said then they had ''Lay Your Hands On Me'' which made it to number 7. Howard asked if Jon can get anything he wants in life. Jon said they were out gifting each other buying cars for each other and things like that. He said they enjoyed that. Howard asked if the record company was kissing their balls. Jon said they were very friendly because they had two very big records. Robin asked if the videos got better. Jon said they did.
Howard said Jon went off and did Blaze of Glory. Howard said Jon was worn out and acting helped him out of that. Jon said it did get him out of that. Howard asked if he went to therapy after that. Jon said he did. Howard said the pressure of writing the songs must have been huge. Jon said it was. He said the only place they knew the truth was in the room. He said the five of them didn't know what to do. He said there were people pulling from all directions and lying about things. He said they were playing a stadium and there was a riot going on. He said the police came and said there were riots going on so they were told they had to postpone a show. Jon said no way to that and they played the show just so they could get out of there. Jon said they were so burned out at that point it was ridiculous.
Howard said he can see why acting would be charming to him. Howard said it's not all on Jon. Jon said he went to the set of a movie out in Malibu. He said he was living out there and he sat on his deck looking at the water and he was close to Emilio Estevez who wanted to use a song in his movie. He said he wanted to write something new for him. He said he flew out to see the set of the movie. He said these guys were all learning to do things on the set of the movie. He said he went home and looked at this thing and went to an acting coach. He said this guy treated him like poop. He said he wasn't treated like a star. He said in doing that he was turned on to a lot of classics and learning this craft. He said he didn't tell anyone he was doing it either. He said he wrote Young Guns and he ended up getting nominated for an Oscar. Howard said ''Blaze of Glory'' was a big hit for that movie. He played some of the song and said Emilio must have been happy about that. Jon said they were both very happy.
Jon said being a singer and trying to get into acting isn't easy. He said he went on an audition in 1994 and he won the part. He said they were filming the movie and he was playing a painter. He said he thought he was doing it wrong and he said he'd pay for the film if he was screwing up too much. Jon said he had no idea that's the way they made movies. He said the director had to tell him that's the way they do things.
Jon said he brought that humility back to the band. Howard asked why he went back. Jon said he had every intention of going back. He said they didn't want to break up. Jon said they got the guys back into the room and Lou Cox came in and asked what the issues were. Jon said they were just confused. Jon said they worked on things and they worked on the new album. Howard said when the new album came out it was like a rebirth of the band. Howard said they put out ''Crush'' and ''It's My Life'' was on that album. Howard asked if that went to number 1. Jon said the charts were different by then but it was a monster hit for them. Howard had the guys perform that song for them.
After doing some of the song Howard said that's one of his favorite songs they do. Jon said it's up there for them too. Howard said that one really gets him. Jon said he was making a movie and he got home from doing that and said to Richie that line ''Like Frankie said I did it my way'' and Richie had no idea what he was talking about. He said the beautiful thing is that after they put the song out that line became everyone's buddy. Howard said that line gives him the chills. He said Jon related to that line. Jon said he has very few regrets in his life. He said one of them is that he never met Frank Sinatra. He said that he did so many things. Howard asked if he's fashioning his life after Frank. Jon said he's not a bad guy to look up to. Robin said Jon gets to see a lot of the world and gets to see what other people may not see.
Howard played some of their song ''Have a Nice Day'' and said they also had ''Who Says You Can't Go Home'' which was another number 1 song. Howard said they've had some career. Jon said that John Shanks who is there has something to do with that. Howard asked them to play some of that song. They went into the song ''Who Says You Can't Go Home'' a short time later.
After the song Howard asked how great his job is. He calls out songs and they play them. Howard said that brings them to the new album. Howard said the music business has changed. He asked if it was a paralyzing thing for them. Howard said a lot of guys won't even put out an album now. Jon said the business is almost impossible to understand. He said they had something they wanted to say and he wanted to say it in its entirety. Jon said to know that track 7 might inspire a kid to write a hit single is a big deal. Jon said they did a Broadway show and he wanted to present it as art. He said it had a beginning a middle and an end. Howard asked if it was tough for Jon because Richie isn't in the band. Howard asked if it was tough to make without him. Jon said this is the first one to be made completely without Richie. Howard said he thought that it might bring them back together. Jon said there was no discussion about bringing them back together. Jon said he has to continue on without Richie. He said it wouldn't be fair to stop the band. Jon said he wants to continue doing what they're doing. Jon said the writing process was the same. He said the gap that was left when Richie was left was filled by David. He said David stepped it up.
Howard said David wrote a musical called Memphis. Howard asked if he has stopped doing that. David said it's a very long process. He said that one took 7 or 8 years. He said he's working on another one that's in its 6th year. He said there's a lot of work there.
Howard asked if David stepped it up in the writing process. Jon said David doesn't write. He said the whole band made this record. He said all of the guys stepped it up. Jon said the huge hole that was left David stepped into. He said they brought life to the songs. Jon said Richie did post something on social media about hearing the single and saying it sounded good so he thinks things are fine. Jon said they're not fighting or anything.
Howard introduced the guys in the band which included Everett Bradley, John Shanks, Hugh McDonald and Phil X. Howard talked to the guys a little bit about what it was like getting into the band. Howard also introduced Tico and David. Howard said he's know Jon a long time.
Howard said the new album is called ''This House Is Not For Sale'' and it's coming out on November 4. Howard said the song they're going to do is called ''This House Is Not For Sale'' like the name of the album. Howard also got in a plug for BonJovi.com before the guys performed the song. Jon said the song is about the four founding members of the band. He said there were a lot of lies out there about him and Richie when they split. He said there were a lot of lies out there on the internet. Howard wanted to know more but Jon told him to talk to Richie about it some day. Howard asked if they have performed this song live before. Jon said only a couple of times. He said never this intimately. They went into the song ''This House is Not For Sale'' a short time later.
After the song Howard said he had a thought during that song. Howard said if he were to teach a song writing class he'd say his secret is coming up with a big anthem. Howard said Jon loves that big sound of a bunch of guys singing at the same time. Jon said he likes a good story too. He said that he did have someone tell him when he was working at a fast food restaurant to ''get to the chorus, don't bore us.'' He said he's never forgotten that.
Howard asked Jon if he's still thinking about being a football team owner. Jon said he is. He said a billion two doesn't buy what it used to. Jon said he loves the game and the business of the game. He said if the opportunity arises again he'd be up for it. He said his son is playing for Notre Dame. Howard asked if he goes to the games. Jon said his son is a cornerback and he has been to some games. He said his boys play football and they have all their lives. Howard asked if he cringes when he hears the marching band. Jon said he always says he's just another dad and then the marching band will break into ''It's My Life.''
Howard asked if his wife is a fourth degree black belt. Jon said she was. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said it was great seeing Tico back there. He said they all sound great. Howard said it was great to see them all. Howard thanked Jon for always being a friend of the show. Howard asked what he's doing after this. Jon said he has to pee. Howard said it's a bitch getting older. Jon said he has a quick change area for peeing during the shows. Howard gave the guys some more plugs and wrapped up. Fred played Dave Grohl performing ''Everlong'' at the 2014 Howard Stern Birthday Bash as they went to break.
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Howard said he saw that guy who sang ''You Spin Me Round'' died. Robin said she was going to talk about that. She had the song ready for him to play. Howard said the guy was Pete Burns. Howard said he was very feminine when he was leading the band. He said he was very good looking but then he did surgery to his face and he was freaky looking. Robin said he went too far. Fred played a song parody about Robin to the tune of ''You Spin Me Round.'' Howard asked what he died of. Robin said it was a massive heart attack. Howard asked if he ever got a vagina. Robin said she's not sure but they do call him ''he'' in the article she read. Howard said you'd think he'd want to be called she. Howard said they never had another hit after that. Robin said they didn't. She said that was the one they all know. Howard said you have to respect Bon Jovi because they didn't just have one hit. Robin said Bon Jovi makes it look easy. Howard said he has to write a song with him so he can have a hit.
Howard said Benjy says that Pete Burns was straight. Howard said he doesn't buy that. Howard said sexuality isn't that important to him but he finds that hard to believe. Robin said that people can be whatever they want these days. Howard said he thinks even if he got a lot of plastic surgery he'd still be stuck with this. Howard said Pete's upper lip was 3 times the size of his lower lip. Robin said he really went crazy.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that was a great interview with Bon Jovi. He said it was really fascinating. Howard said everyone's struggle is fascinating. Jeff said he didn't know he was that into Frank Sinatra. Jeff told them to guess what he did this morning. Howard guessed that he coughed until he vomited. Jeff said no but he did make cinnamon roll cake. Howard said it shows he's being a little active. Howard said you'd think he'd just go buy one.
Howard said he knows a guy who follows Jeff on Periscope and Jeff fell asleep for an hour and a half on there and people watched.
Jeff said the kid from Kuwait won't be calling in for a month. Robin asked why. Jeff said he has some personal reasons but he's not in trouble. Howard thanked Jeff for the update. He said that's the closest he's ever had to a real conversation with the guy. He said he has no idea why the kid from Kuwait won't be calling in though.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she knows some about Pete Burns. She said she followed him since the 80s. Howard said he'd look for his pictures to see him morphing into what he morphed into. The caller said he may have had body dysmorphia. She said she thinks he had an addiction. She said Pete had his lips done by a doctor in Italy and got a really bad infection and his kidneys or liver had problems. Robin remembered reading about that. The caller said Pete did a lot of reality shows in England. She said he was so wickedly funny. Howard said he may be preserved with the plastic surgery he's had. Howard said he's afraid if they bury him he may never decompose. The caller said he also filed for bankruptcy recently. She said he had a lot of hits. Howard said she's really into Pete Burns. Howard asked if she was like one of those ''fag hags'' like they used to call them. The caller said she was. Howard said Benjy is saying that he wasn't gay. The caller, Lisa, said he was married for 28 years. Howard said she might be Pete Burns number 1 fan. She said she's not sure what it is but she was really into him. Howard said he watches all of those shows like that with Ru Paul and people like that. Howard asked if Lisa is hot. She said she is pretty thin and good looking from what she knows. She said she's been watching Howard since the WOR days. Howard said he was never on WOR. She said that was the channel 9 show. Howard said she knows more about his career than he does. Howard let Lisa go a short time later. He said she wasn't stopping. She was still talking as he hung up on her.
Howard said there's someone on the phone who says they're the number 1 fan of Pete Burns. Howard took the call from one of the guys in the back who was crying and crying to the tune of ''You Spin Me Round.'' Howard spent a minute talking to him about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
After the break Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about Richard Simmons closing his studio after 42 years. Howard said he was thinking about reaching out to Richard. He said he wishes he'd come back on the show. Howard said he'd love for him to reemerge. Howard said he wants to say as much as they goof on Richard he is one of the most sincere weight loss guys. Howard said he was dealing with people that he'd call every day to help. He said he had real solid advice for those people too. He said he was right on the money when it came to some of that stuff. Howard said he heard he's locked himself in his house. Robin said he wrote on Facebook thanking people for supporting him for 42 years. Robin said he keeps saying that they don't have to worry about him. Howard said once he stopped showing up at the studio they couldn't have been doing well. Howard said he bets he's a big Pete Burns fan.
Howard said he has theories about what Richard is doing. He said some paper printed that he became a woman with breasts and he bought into that. He said he immediately fell for that. He said they should put his short shorts in the Smithsonian. Howard said he's embarrassed to say he bought into that story. He said his theory is that he feels he doesn't want to be seen because he gained a lot of weight and he's gotten old. Howard said maybe he just doesn't want people looking at him because he's old. Robin said that could be it. Robin said maybe he has an injury or something. Howard said some actresses have gone into hiding like Bridget Bardo. Robin said she should have. Robin said there are many you don't see now. Howard said there's a theory that he has a house packed with young women and he's fucking them all and being a total womanizer. Howard said he was such a great guest on the show. He said he doesn't run for President though. Robin said if you do the show please don't run for President.
Robin said that Justin Bieber dropped his microphone and stormed off stage the other night. Robin said he asked them to stop screaming but they kept going and he walked off. Howard said he should reach out to Ronnie's psychiatrist.
Robin said that Jared Fogle claims that Subway knew about what he was up to and did nothing about it. Robin read about how Jared's wife is suing Subway because they had some complaints about Jared before she knew about it. Robin said she claims she could have known if they had said something before she married Jared. Robin had some audio of Jared's ex-wife talking about that.
Howard took a call from Ronnie's therapist and talked to him about talking to Justin Bieber. Howard spent a few minutes talking to the guy who sounds like he's doing an impression of Ronnie with a higher pitched voice. Howard let him go after a couple minutes.
Robin asked if Jared Fogle or Bill Cosby is worse. Howard said the worst are child abusers. Howard said Cosby allegedly drugged women for many years. He said he'll stick with Fogle being the worst though because it was with kids.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom and asked who is worse, Bill Cosby or Jared. She said that it's Cosby because there are facts about it and Trump they don't have facts about. Tan Mom said the sense she gets from Cosby is a little weird. Howard said he has Jared the worst and Tan Mom says Cosby. Robin said they are not on the same page. Howard said he respects Tan Mom either way. Tan Mom said she misses them. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said if they had more time he would have done some phone sex with her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Benjy said he has a Jared fact if he wants to know. Benjy said that he claims to have had sex with 16 and 17 year olds. Howard said they're both wrong. Howard said he's still sticking with Jared being the worst. Robin said Jared said he liked it all and the age didn't matter.
Robin read a story about Billy Bush selling his Chelsea townhouse that he just bought. Howard asked if he's in hiding now or what. Howard said he might be in Tico Torres' basement. Howard said maybe he wants to live on the money he gets from that. Robin said there were rumors that he was going to be on Dancing with the Stars. That was just a rumor though. Howard said he thinks that would be good for Dancing with the Stars.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian staying off social media lately. Robin said she also dropped her lawsuit against a web site that claimed her robbery was faked. Robin said the web site apologized and retracted their story. Robin said before all of that went down she was fine with her fame coming from social media. Robin said they think the robbery came directly from that social media though.
Robin read a story about Suge Knight claiming that Dr. Dre hired a hitman to kill him. Howard said he should ask Siri about that. Howard pulled out his iPhone 7 and said Siri is going to be on her game now. Howard said Bubba just emailed him again too. He wondered what was going on there. Howard asked Siri who is worse, Bill Cosby or Jared Fogle. Siri found some links on the web. Howard said there's a forum on the topic. Howard read some of the posts in the forum. Howard said he can't believe Siri found that. Howard asked Siri how often Kanye West fucks Kim Kardashian. Howard said she found an answer for that too. He said it's on some web site. Howard read that Kim's doctor warned her that she's having too much sex. That was from when she was trying to get pregnant and they were apparently having sex 15 times a day.
Robin read a story about 4 people dying on a ride in Australia. Robin said two were flung out and two were trapped. Robin said it occurred yesterday at a Thunder Rapids ride. Robin said the victims were two men and two women. Robin said they had a malfunction with the conveyor belt. Robin said the ride apparently mangled these people. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Kevin Meaney dying at the age of 60. Robin said he died last week at his home in New York. Robin had some audio of Kevin doing his material. Howard and Robin laughed at that. Howard said he was talking to Jerry Seinfeld one time and Jerry was wondering what happens to all of that material that a comedian comes up with when they die. Howard said Kevin devoted his entire life to that material and it's going to go away. Robin said he did specials and things like that. She said you can see it but it's not like having songs that people will sing. Robin had another Kevin Meaney comedy bit about camouflage clothes. Howard said he thought he was going to talk about how it draws your attention to these people. He said it's the least camouflage. Howard asked how old Kevin was. Robin said he was 60. Robin had a clip of Kevin talking about going to confession to tell the priest he's gay after his mother begged him to do that. Robin said Kevin was on many shows over the years. He did a lot of voices on animated shows too. Robin said he was a successful comedian. Robin said Louis C.K. said he was the most naturally funny comedian he knew.
Robin read about Jimmy Kimmel having President Obama on his show to read some mean tweets. Robin had some audio of Obama doing that. Robin said he had him read some Donald Trump tweets too.
Robin read a story about the NY Times having a full 2 page spread of Trump's targets during this election. Robin said Trump is also insisting that he's going to win. Robin said he has some secret polls that other people are not reporting on. Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton talking about Trump. She had some audio of Elizabeth Warren talking about Trump.
Robin read about how Trump is claiming he's going to sue these women who have come out saying Trump sexually harassed them. Robin said a bunch of attorneys have come forward saying they will represent these women for free.
Howard had some interviews that the guys did with Wack Packers asking them who they are voting for. Howard said 87 percent of the Wack Pack think we're heading in the wrong direction. Howard said Bobo says we're going in the wrong direction but he can't even pronounce ''Obama.'' Howard had a clip of him saying ''Bama'' instead of Obama. Howard played a clip of Nicole Bass talking about what a mockery this election is. She said if Hillary wins we'll have to stare at that face and she thinks she's better looking than Hillary. Howard said ''Not so fast...'' Howard read more details about what the Wack Pack is saying and had more audio of Nicole Bass talking about Obama being out of line with some of the things he's doing. Howard had some Tan Mom audio to play too. She was rambling about something and even she said it was very hard to explain. She said the whole situation is insane. Howard said Big Foot said neither one should be elected. He said the wall should go toward the deficit. He said it's already in the ''prillions.''
Robin read a story about Halloween coming up and the most popular costumes this year are super heroes. Robin said lots of adults are dressing up as well. Robin had audio of a woman talking about what they'll be dressing up as based on a poll that was done. Robin wrapped up her news a short time later. Howard ended the show around 11:35am.
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Howard started the show talking about Ronnie singing the opening theme song. Howard said he's never heard anything like that. Howard said Ronnie told him he likes Bon Jovi and Cher. He said he thinks he missed the Beatles thing. He said he's going to be 67 on Friday. He said he was probably into Elvis and Neil Diamond and people like that. Howard said if you were older than he is then you might have missed out on the rock stuff. Howard said it was like Fabian, Connie Francis, Glen Miller, Frankie Avalon and stuff like that.
Howard said Ronnie is 67 on Friday. He said it's a big one for him. Howard played a clip of Ronnie moaning to the Happy Birthday song.
Howard said he made the mistake of asking Ronnie a question this morning on the drive in. He said Ronnie yelled ''It's up to you!'' when he asked. Howard said Jason asked if he pays him. He said yeah. Howard said Ronnie has some personality. He said he even grunts at the door man at the building. Howard said Ronnie is like Newt Gingrich. He said he went off on Megyn Kelly. He said Megyn was saying ''if Trump is a sexual predator'' and Newt went off on her like she said something wrong. Howard said Ronnie is like that. He said he freaks out if you ask anything. Howard said he loves the guy but he hears things like people are attacking him. Robin said he does answer in an angry sounding voice if you say good morning and he says ''Good afternoon!''
Howard played a clip of Megyn Kelly and Newt Gingrich talking about the Trump sexual predator thing. Newt said he's sick of people using terminology they don't know is true or not. The two of them argued over that for a short time. Howard said she's so hot. He said imagine being in a relationship with her. Howard said she'd win every argument.
Howard said he's wondered if she's good in bed. He said if they did sleep together they could get into some light spanking. He said he'd be the one getting spanked though.
Robin said she used to take a wind up clock across the room so she had to get up to turn it off. Howard said people are so disappointing. Howard said this says that he's not that important to the show. Howard said if Fred didn't show up he'd have no opening.
Howard said he had to sit someone else down and talk to them about showing up late. Howard said this is so why he didn't want to be in management or being the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he did America's Got Talent and he was just a player in the organization. He said he loved not being in charge. Howard said he had to just show up and do the job. He said he showed up on time there.
Gary said one of the things that they said they would do is have Benjy write from the other room if he showed up late again. Howard said he has to either just fire him or stop talking about it. Howard said it's the same thing with the other guy. Howard said he won't embarrass that person. Howard said he feels like the abused wife in this relationship. He said they fix it for a couple of months and then they start showing up late again. Howard said this isn't even embarrassing to Benjy. Benjy said it is. Howard said if it was he wouldn't do it. Benjy said he's wrong.
Howard said people who drink hit rock bottom eventually and they stop drinking. He said Benjy will hit rock bottom when he gets fired. Howard said he will wonder what the fuck he did. He said he'll realize he had it made there. Benjy said he knows. Howard said he's going to think he's an idiot when he realizes he only had to get up early 3 days a week.
Howard said if Benjy felt shitty about this he'd stop showing up late. Gary said he watches him come in every morning at 3 of or 5 of. He's cutting it close every day. Gary said he wanted to tell him to start coming in at quarter of. Howard said Benjy will say he can't sleep and he'll be tired if he shows up. Howard said he only has to work 4 hours a day. He said he's not asked to do anything but show up. Howard said he has the easiest job on the station. He said he wishes he had to go out and get a real job. He said he'd beg him to come back to suck his dick.
Howard said ask the people who have left the show about what it's like. It's not pretty. Howard said a lot of them are near a nervous breakdown. Howard asked how he is coming in late. Howard said he knows he wants him to fire him. He said he wishes he could see life differently.
Howard said he has to think about this. He said it might be time to part company. He said the other person showing up late is learning this from Benjy. Howard asked what he should do. Robin said she's listening to Fred playing the Jeopardy music.
Howard said this guy fucks him every time. He said he can't be in the studio anymore. He said if he wasn't in there he wouldn't get sidetracked when he shows up. Howard said he wouldn't have to deal with that if he wasn't in there. Howard said he could show up late and everyone else would know but not him. He said he's going to put this in the hands of Marci and Jeremy. Howard said he's moving toward that now. Howard said they're moving so he's got separation between him and the business. Howard said those two are handling that stuff. Howard said Jeremy is the senior executive and Marci is like the COO. Howard said Jeremy is like the senior executive type. Howard said Benjy has too much access to him. He said if they deal with him then he doesn't have to be involved.
Howard said he's bowing out of the Benjy business. Howard said he can't be in the studio after today. He said he's spending the whole show on him. He said he loves Benjy on a personal level but he's embarrassed him so many times he's going to let management handle it. Benjy said that's more than fair.
Howard took a call from Benjy from the future. Benjy from the future was begging for 2 dollars. He said he's sick of sucking dick for money. Howard said he must weigh 7 pounds now. He spent a minute with that Benjy and real Benjy said he thought that was his real voice for a minute. Howard said everyone blames him when they leave there too. He said that they think he's so mean. Howard said he's a sucker and a good guy. He said he wants to give people work. Howard said he's a good person. He said it's not fair to people who do come in on time. Howard said maybe Robin should show up whenever she wants. Howard said he doesn't want to have this discussion on the air. He said it's fucked up.
Howard said he's not the boss there. He said he's not running things. He said he wants to come in late. He said he can't because he's conscientious. Robin said they showed up to work once and the door was locked. Robin said Howard refused to leave. Howard said that's right. He said he could have left but he wouldn't do it because he's being paid. Howard said if he doesn't like what he's being paid then leave. Howard said if he's going to work then show up on time.
Howard said life isn't that complicated. He said if you get paid you show up on time. Howard said when he was a morning man in Detroit he bought 4 alarm clocks to make sure he was up on time to get to work. He said he wasn't going to fuck that job up. He wanted that job so bad that he made sure he did whatever he had to do to show up on time. Howard said you have to have tremendous drive. Robin said if Howard hadn't shown up to do what he did then he wouldn't be where he is today. Robin said he wouldn't have those relationships.
Howard said Benjy is saying something to him psychologically. He said he's asking to be fired and to be paid attention to. Howard said he's taking himself out of the decision. Howard said if Marci and Jeremy decide to fire him then that's it. He doesn't want anything to do with the decision. Howard said alcoholics do this too. He said they need the attention so they keep fucking up. He said it's part of the illness. Robin said some people don't think they're worthy of where they are. Howard said Benjy goes home and makes shit for free on Periscope instead of doing it there. Howard said Jackie used to do that too. He said you have to go do your thing. Howard said he feels he's holding Benjy back from being a star.
Howard said he was in a good mood before this. He said he went out to dinner with Beth's aunt and uncle last night and they like him. He said most people don't like him. He said her uncle was an FBI man. He said he had a great conversation with that guy. Howard said now he's pissed. Howard said he was a top FBI guy. Howard said this is a no nonsense guy, Tom Ostrosky. Howard said Benjy wouldn't last 5 minutes in the military. He said he knows military guys and they're so disciplined. Howard said he knows a guy who would kill himself if he was late.
Howard said Benjy is busy with making Twitter for his dog. Howard said that's what he's up to out there. Howard said he goes out with his wife and she loves him for that. Howard said he ordered too much food and he felt so bloated. Howard said he lost 3 pounds and he may have gained it all back after last night.
Howard said he went to Nobu after not being there in a while. Howard said he started ordering and on top of his usual order he had sushi rolls. He said they brought over dessert and he had Mochi. He said he came home and he was farting like crazy. He said he had to avoid Beth. He said he'll grab his cheeks and spread them so the farts are quiet. Howard said there was no end to the gas. Howard made fart sounds and Fred played some fart sounds.
Robin asked where Beth was. Howard said she had a cat emergency. He said one of the cats was ill so she had to drive it out to Long Island. Howard said he was free to fart after that. Howard said he knew he had to make a doody and it wouldn't come out. He said he had to wait until this morning. He got up early to do that. He said he knew he had to get up early to do that so he could get to work on time. Howard said he didn't make much but he's sure later on it'll be more.
Howard said Benjy isn't going anywhere with his tweets. Howard said these kids have their heads up their asses. He said they want to tweet instead of working. Robin said here are times she doesn't fall asleep until early in the morning. Howard asked who is writing her Twitter account. Robin said they have a lot of medical advice. Howard said it's all hashtag stuff. Howard said they have a bunch of hashtags. He said she'll hashtag in the middle of stuff. Robin said she has people doing that. Howard read some of the stuff they're hashtagging. Howard said one sentence is just a bunch of hashtags.
Howard said last time he was talking to Benjy he said he can't sleep. Robin said she can't sleep but she gets up and goes to work. Howard said he sat Benjy down and lectured him about this. He said he doesn't have to sleep. He said his body will eventually fall asleep. Howard said imagine going to your boss and complaining you can't sleep. Howard said he would never go up to his boss telling them that he can't sleep. He said imagine what a loser he would have been if he did that. Benjy said he didn't do it as a complaint. Howard said he did. Benjy said he didn't. Howard said he told him he was late because he can't sleep. Howard said he told him then don't sleep. Howard said he has to be there 4 hours a day. Benjy said Howard was very nice about it. Howard said he can't do anything else. Benjy said he wasn't late for 5 years before that. Howard said he saw it as a complaint. Howard said it's nothing he would ever admit to his boss. Howard said he'd never say he's late because he can't sleep.
Robin said she's in a lot of pain and she's going through something right now. Benjy asked why she odes this. Benjy said she always does this to him. Howard asked Robin about the pain. Robin said she stepped out during the Bon Jovi thing. Robin said she almost didn't get back to the studio. Robin said she was in pain. Howard asked if it was in the vagine. Robin said no. Robin said she has some effects from her surgery and they cause her problems sometimes. Howard asked where the pain was. He asked if it was in the breasts and asked if she wants him to massage them. Robin said she has told Howard where this pain is. She said she can get it fixed. Robin said she was seeing stars from the pain yesterday. Robin said she was there and on time. Robin said she went to the ladies room and she was in pain but she still made it back to the studio. Howard thanked her for sharing that. Robin said Benjy just can't get out of bed.
Howard said there's a kid in Syria right now whose house was just blown up and he'd die to have a job in America for 4 hours a day 3 days a week. Benjy said he doesn't mean this in a mean way but he'd like to know why she's overweight. Robin said she's still going through things physically. Howard said Benjy is the one who showed up late. Howard said she went through a major life threatening cancer. Howard said she's trying to help Benjy. Benjy said that's not trying to help. He said he can go through pain. Howard said no he can't. Benjy said it's not a conscious thing. Howard said Benjy would say he was in pain if he was there. Robin said she's not making it anyone's issue. Robin said Benjy is.
Howard said Robin's point is that she didn't interrupt the flow of the show. He said she got there on time. Howard said Robin's weight doesn't affect him. He said Benjy showing up late does affect him. Benjy said it's not a conscious thing. Howard said he's saying to him that he's affecting him. He said he's like a smoker.
Howard told Benjy to fuck off. He said he thought he was a bright guy but he's not. Howard said he's not thinking clearly. Howard said now he has to have him in the studio during the break. Benjy said he'll leave the studio. Howard said they do a half hour prep for the show every morning. Howard said at 6:20 they do the meeting. He said he's there every day for that. Howard said Benjy is not there. Howard said he's above it all. He said Benjy is so valuable that he's not there. Howard said he's been through this with people who think they're valuable. Benjy said it's not a conscious thing. Howard said this company can survive without him. Howard said he could be thrown out too.
Robin asked if Benjy is really saying that he's not in control. Benjy said he is. Howard asked how many alarm clocks he has. Benjy said he has 3 but one broke. Howard asked what happened to the other 2. Benjy said one went off. Howard said he's such a liar. He can't even answer the question.
Howard said Benjy just doesn't get it. He said he's within walking distance of work. Howard said maybe when he's fired the rest of the guys who left can all get together. Howard said they can all sit around talking about how they miss their jobs. Howard asked if he should take a break and start the show over again. He said he was in such a good mood. He said they don't have any guests and he was just going to roll with it. He had like 12 pages of material to get to. Robin asked what the point was about Ronnie and asking about a security question. Howard said he doesn't know. He said the plan went out the window when Fuck Head walked in late. Howard said he can't think straight now.
Howard said there's a theory that he shows up late on guest free days so he can be talked about. Howard said the last time he did this there were no guests. Howard said it's almost like it's planned. Howard said it's loserish. Howard said good luck with the Twitter thing. He said Benjy thinks he can start his own show on there. Howard said go ahead and give that a try. Howard said putting together a massive audience is where it's at. Howard said this is how he does it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he lost his dream job as a video game tester because he kept showing up late. Howard asked what that job was like. The caller said he would sit here for 8 hours a day testing the game trying to get it to break. He said that's it. Howard asked if he loves video games. The caller said he does. Howard said he was being paid to play video games. The caller said he was paid very well to do it. He said he was making $75-80,000 a year doing that. Howard asked when he was late they probably warned him. The caller said he was warned. He said he was late maybe once a week. Howard said they must have liked him. The caller said his reports were flawless. He said it was great. He said he gave them good feedback and all of that. He said he would show up maybe 15 minutes late or so. Howard asked if they explained it to him why he can't be late. The caller said they did. Howard asked why he thinks he was really late. The caller said he was busy staying out late and being young partying and that stuff. He said he thought he would handle it but he couldn't. Howard asked what he's doing now. The caller said he's a banker working his ass off for half the money. He said he shows up 15-30 minutes before he has to start. He said he never wants to be late again.
Howard asked the caller what he did before he got this job. He asked if he had to suck dick. The caller said he didn't have to do that. He said he was hanging out with Lenny doing that kind of stuff. Howard said Josh had the dream job like big mouth over there. Josh told Benjy to just suck it up and get there on time. Howard did his impression of Benjy and said he can't. Howard said Benjy thinks he's going to have a big career and this job is holding him back.
Howard said Benjy is chronically pissing on him. He said he took the guys out to dinner a few years ago and guess who was late to dinner. He said Benjy is a fuck up and he's not going anywhere.
Gary said someone sent him a note asking if he would show up late to the plane. Howard said he'd show up on time. Gary said Benjy showed up late to fly down to Florida for Bubba's wedding. Howard said he wishes they could have gone without Benjy. He said he would have left him.
Gary said he thinks Howard should let the other people handle Benjy. Howard said he's going to do that so if Benjy isn't there anymore they'll know it wasn't him. Howard said if he wanted this job he'd be there on time. Benjy said it's been twice in 5 years. Howard said it's 2 times too many. Benjy said he's correct.
Howard said if he wasn't in the studio he wouldn't know it. Howard said he's told him not to sit in there. Howard said he's not sure what his game plan is. Benjy said he was going crazy inside himself and he had to numb himself to what was going on. Howard said just get there an hour early. He said he doesn't get it.
Howard asked Josh if he's upset that he doesn't have his job. Josh said he could be sitting around playing games and loving life. Howard said Robin comes in early and Benjy could do that. Howard said Robin gets a jump on her work before the show. Howard said there is a certain amount of prep for the show. Howard said he reads 3 newspapers before the show and then has a meeting at 6:20. He said he's not sure why he's accepting Benjy breezing in a minute before the show. Josh said he should be there at 6:20. Howard said he's just accepting a paycheck.
Howard said he didn't know Robin was in pain yesterday. He said Lenny Dykstra wants to help her out. He picked up and had clips of Lenny talking about how he wanted to go down on her. They spent a minute on that and then let Lenny clips go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this isn't going to go away. He said it's too late for Benjy. He said he's never had a real job and he's never going to change. Howard said Jackie was there and he worked alongside Jackie. He said he's taking it and throwing it all away. Howard said he'll grow up when he's working at Dunkin Donuts. The caller said he's been working since he was like 12 years old. He said Benjy didn't have all of that. Benjy said that's bullshit. He said he had a newspaper route at 10. Howard said the newspaper business is almost bankrupt. He said Benjy probably showed up late to that too.
Howard took a call from a guy who does H.R. for a living. The caller said he has to write a notice of final warning. Howard said they've done that. The caller said he has to say that if he shows up late again he's forfeiting his job. He said they have to suspend him for next week. Howard said that's what he wants. The caller said they can suspend him without pay. Howard said that might work. Howard said they have to treat people like babies. Howard said he'd be so embarrassed if he had to have an H.R. person come to him. He said he should be able to manage himself.
Howard said JD is thinking Benjy has had too many warnings. Howard asked him to come in there and voice his opinions. JD came in and said he loves Benjy and thinks he's hilarious. He said they've done this like 15 times. He said they've done it all and he thinks he has to go. JD said if he was late that many times he'd have to go. Benjy said he knows he did it for years but before this time it was 5 years. JD said it's so many times here. Benjy said that's what he's talking about. He said 5 years ago this happened too. He said he doesn't know why. Howard said he does know why. Benjy said he's not lying intentionally. Howard said he does know why he's late. Benjy said he doesn't. Howard said of course he does. Howard said he does know why he's late and he just doesn't want to admit it. Benjy said he's not sure what he's trying to say. Howard said there is a reason he knows he's late. Howard said he wont share with them but he has a reason.
Howard asked Benjy why he was late. Benjy said he woke up late. Howard said not that. He asked what's in his head about being late. Benjy said he didn't care enough. Howard said now he's getting real. JD said if he was shamed publicly like this he'd do something to fix this.
Benjy asked how many times he's been late in the past 4 years. JD said 2 or 3 times. He said it's enough to be a habit. Howard said don't sit in the studio anymore. Howard asked if they have room out there for him. Gary said they can find room. He said they have it set up so he can do it now. Howard said put him out there now. Howard said this is ridiculous. Howard said he does like having him in there but he can't do it. Howard said they've spent an hour on this. He said he'll try to regroup and get past this after the break. Howard said it's all he wants to talk about but he's going to move past it with Robin's help. Fred played the Game of Thrones ''Shame'' clip.
Howard said in 2009 Benjy showed up late two days in a row. Howard said that's crazy. Howard said Benjy thinks this is hilarious. Benjy said he really doesn't. Howard said he doesn't talk to Benjy about his girlfriend or any of that shit anymore. He said he has to get on the air so this is how he's doing it. Howard said it's another hilarious bit from Benjy. Benjy brought up Robin's weight again and Howard said he has to shut him down. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he ran into Rachel Butera out in the hall. He said she's there doing some phony phone calls for them. Howard had her come in. Rachel came in and Howard said his favorite impression is her Rosie O'Donnell. Howard asked if he can talk to her as Rosie for a bit. Rachel said she's fine with that. She went into her Rosie impression. Howard talked to her about Donald Trump and her battle with Trump. ''Rosie'' said he can't go around grabbing pussy all day. She said that's her job. She talked about Megyn Kelly a bit and said she'd like to part her blond hairs with her tongue. She even smacked her clit against the mic.
Howard said it's not healthy to hold in anger. Rosie said she'd like to go deep sea diving in Melania's vagina. Howard said he has exciting news. He said to keep the impressions going they have an angry Donald Trump on the phone. Howard picked up on fake Trump who said get this oinker off the phone. Howard had the two of them fighting for a short time. Howard said this is unbelievable. They called each other names for a short time. Howard let Trump and Rosie go after that.
Howard said Rachel was also doing the Trump voice. Howard told her to go back and do some work. Howard said that impression is masterful. He said it was like the debate. Howard said at one point she called him a snatch snatcher. He said Trump called her a wide load and a box muncher. Howard said it crushed him when she said he's an election loser.
Robin asked if it's the newspaper or is someone else up to this. Howard said it's just weird. He said something odd must have happened. He said he didn't do anything according to this article. Howard said NBC has said they're happy with the show. Howard said the story that has him reeling is how anyone can divorce Kate Beckinsale. Howard said if he met her there's nothing she could do to chase him away. Howard said it's impossible unless she's frigid. Howard said he can't imagine a personality that bad. Howard said she's stunning. Howard said it's crazy.
Howard said the guy who left her must have it all. He said he can't imagine getting sick of Kate Beckinsale. Howard said they do say that somewhere someone is sick of fucking a certain person. Howard said he's been with his wife for over 16 or 17 years and he never gets tired of fucking her. Robin said he's been working on himself and his relationship though. Robin said it's not just about fucking someone. Howard said he has to meet Kate Beckinsale. He said he has to figure this out.
Howard read about this guy Len Wiseman who was Kate's husband. Howard said he's filed for divorce from her. He said he's citing irreconcilable differences. Howard said imagine her sucking you nude. Howard said he can't imagine leaving her. Howard said if he came out as a gay man he'd understand it. Robin said this guy is just as good looking as she is. Howard asked how bad her personality could be. Howard said he wants to read a book. He said they have to investigate this marriage. He said he needs to know what went wrong.
Howard read about this woman the husband left Kate for. Howard said she's 18 years younger than him. Howard said he doesn't get it. Robin asked how many beautiful women get divorced. Howard said she must have the worst personality on the planet. He said she must be a vomit or something. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on.
Howard said he was reading about this guy Seward who bought Alaska for this country. Howard said if he was the president he would make Iraq a state of this country. Howard said it would be a very valuable state. Howard said they'd be right next to Iran and they could keep an eye on the middle east. Howard said they'd be our citizens and they'd get to vote in our election. Howard said that's how they turn that place into a democracy. Howard said they'd have a free vote and an infrastructure. Howard said they'd have the oil and all of that and it would be the end of the Iraq problem. Howard said there would be no ISIS. He said we wouldn't have an immigration problem either. Howard said we used to do that. He said we used to buy property. Robin said this is the era when people throw off those kind of ties. Howard said people would feel he's making land grabs which is what he'd be doing. Howard said Iraq is a great deal for them. He said they'd love him if he did that. Howard said if you like that idea he can be your president.
Howard said Alaska was purchased for $7.2 million. Howard said we can double that for Iraq. Robin said she thinks it would have to be more than that. Howard said maybe a billion. He said then we'd have another state.
Howard took a call from Kate Beckinsale (Rachel?) who said she has just one problem. She kept farting. She said that's from eating a lot of Nobu. Howard said he gets why she can't be in a marriage for that long. Howard let her go a short time later and then went to break.
The caller, Marissa, said she was annoyed with Howard saying that he was going to vote for Hillary. Howard said he had a note saying that someone was canceling their subscription because of that. Marissa said if he can convince Trump to do the Iraq plan then he's in. Howard said he would be a total maniac if he was president. Marissa said Howard should give that to Trump. Robin said she knew when we went into Iraq that we'd never be able to leave.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call. Howard said he was telling Robin about his doody and his routine. He said he was talking about cleaning with baby wipes and all of that. The boys took that, chopped it up, and called into a radio show. He said the host didn't appreciate him though. Howard played the call and they had Howard telling the host about these green toilets and how he has made doody and sometimes it won't go down. The host hung up on them as he was about to talk about dropping his doody in the water. The host took another call and the guys continued playing the clips of Howard talking about wiping with baby wipes and shoving his finger up there. The host hung up and played some music. He said this guy is a dick and a mother fucker. Robin said he was so jovial on the air. Howard said these guys don't know how to use their equipment. Howard said it shows how two faced people can be. Howard said he thought he was the best caller ever.
Howard asked if he was embarrassed. Memet said he was one of the first people there. He said he thought it was going to be a mix of guys and girls but it was 99 percent dudes. He said he thinks they were straight but he's not sure about that. He said there might be a lot of underlying gayness there. Memet said he's still kind of traumatized from it. He said it's so emasculating. Howard said when you're doing poses are guy's assholes open. Memet said he went to the back of the class and he was looking at 40 guys doing downward dog with their balls hanging down. He said the yoga is so intense that you sweat your ass off. He said the guy in front of him had water streaming off his balls.
Memet said he was walking around doing interviews and kept stepping in water puddles. He said one guy had an erection. He said it was an Asian dude and his little penis was sticking straight up. He said he was the one guy smaller than him.
Howard said people pay $15 to do this. He said they range from 20 to 60 and there were only 2 girls in the class. Memet said they weren't bad looking. He said they may have been a mess mentally but physically they weren't bad.
Howard read some of the notes he had and Memet had to get naked so he could do the interviews. Howard played some audio of the instructor talking about why he started doing this naked. He said there are no benefits from doing it naked.
Howard said Memet talked about how people sweat a lot and the instructor likes the smell of sweat. Howard said that's the worst stink. Memet said that guy was kind of strange. Memet said the instructor was walking around with his big dick hanging over people. Howard played some audio of the guy talking about liking the smell of sweat. He said he thinks it's worse with deodorant. Howard said he admitted to dribbling pee on the floor during Yoga too. Howard played that clip and sounded like he was going to puke.
Howard said there's a no shame policy about erections. Howard had audio of the instructor talking about that. He said if you have a boner after class just cover it up. He said they don't boner shame there.
Howard asked how hot the chicks were there. Memet said they were 7s and 8s. Howard asked why the Asian guy got an erection. Memet said he thinks he was just relaxing and taking it all in.
Howard played a clip of a guy Memet interviewed about why he was there. The guy said he likes seeing people naked. Howard asked if the woman was checking out his package. Memet said she may have earlier but she wasn't looking at it there. Howard asked if he's like an inch. Memet said he may have been that day but he can grow. Howard said they get it. Howard played a clip of Memet talking to one of the women about being here and if she has people staring at her. She said people are pretty respectful there. She said it's there and out so look at it or don't. She said it's up to you.
Memet said he was praying for his penis not to let him down that day. He said he tried to chub up in the bathroom at a Dunkin Donuts. Howard said he does that too. He said he gets to the doctor's office and he has nothing there. He said it's embarrassing. Memet said that's what happened to him. Howard asked if he saw any strings hanging out. Memet said they told him they're just asked to bring a towel.
Howard asked if you use your own yoga mat. Memet said you can use theirs but you bring a towel. He said the people there are into it.
Howard had some audio of people describing Memet's penis. one guy said he has really weird balls and a really small penis. One guy said it was a nice bell. One guy said it was like an acorn standing on a stack of dimes. Memet said it may have been accurate that day but it's not like that every day.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the naked yoga class. The caller was doing a what sounded like an impression of the instructor and talking about Memet's pimple sized penis.
Robin asked why he did this. Memet said this was the only way they could get in. Howard said good for Memet doing it again. He put his balls on the line.
Howard asked how his feud is going with Jason. He said he heard he doesn't like Jason. Memet said he likes Jason but he does some things that annoy him. Howard said heard that he's upset about Jason ordering food and then leaving it all behind in the meetings. Howard asked if he leaves it on the desk. Memet said that you know if you've worked anywhere else that you clean up after yourself. Jason came in and said it's never happened. Jason said the picture was his desk. Jason said he throws his food away. He said he eats at the meeting because he doesn't have time to eat it any other time. Jason said that maybe that day he forgot. He said he's not entitled. Memet said he's just saying it's just a couple of things that annoy him.
Memet said back in his intern days when Jason wants a coffee or something he won't ask ''may I please have a coffee'' he'll just snap his fingers and say ''Coffee!'' Jason said he's making this up. He said that's just not true. Memet said he heard from a close source that this is still going on. Jason said he's never snapped his fingers or made a demand. He said the people who get the coffee sit far away from them too. Howard asked if Jason spilled a coffee and asked an intern to clean it up. Jason said he doesn't remember doing that.
Gary said that one of the interns said that Jason does put his hand up and says ''Coffee!''
Howard asked if Jason is a bigger target now because of ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Fred said it might have to do with that. Jason said if he wants to take a picture of Memet on the air he has to spend 20 minutes fixing his hair.
Jon Hein came in and said that he has to say most of the time Jason is pretty polite. He said he was there when the drink was dropped and he demanded that the interns clean it up. He said he looked over at the interns and said ''Pick that up!'' He said he thought he was having a bad day. Jason said he'd like to hear that person tell the story. Jon said Will might talk about it. Jason said Jon has told the P.A.'s that they can't get him lunch because they've fucked up his order. He said he's seen Jon throw down a meal because it's wrong. Jon said he will ask them to fix it and get it right. Jason said he'll throw it down and say ''X isn't getting me lunch anymore.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jon has to stand up to Jason and Jason is wrong for doing what he's doing. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying but he's on a roll. Howard asked if Jason is a diva. He asked Robin. Robin said judging from the information they got he might be.
Howard took a call from a former intern named Will who said that Jason was really nice. He said the only person at the show who left a bad taste in his mouth was Jon Hein. He said Jon was just a dick. Howard asked how he's a dick. Will said Jon would just ignore them in the bullpen. Howard said he's shocked Jon said he is too. Howard said he hung up.
Howard said they have a very important ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' He said Charlie Puth recorded a special ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Jason said he's not sure who suggested it but it got done while he was up there. Howard played the song that Charlie did. He sang ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said he just announced he had to cancel some shows recently. He said he was up there and then got sick.
Howard asked if Fred acts like a diva there. Memet said that Fred is one of the nicest guys around there. He said he was the first one to learn his name there. Jason said one of the coffees he orders in the morning is for Fred. Gary said Fred is such a nice guy that he would get black coffee for years and he wouldn't ask for cream to bother anyone. Jason said he noticed it one day and asked if he likes it with cream. He told him he does and he realized he was bringing it to him wrong for years.
Howard took a call from a former intern who was disguising their voice. He said he's afraid of all of these guys. He said Memet is a pussy but the rest of them he's scared of. Howard let that guy go a short time later.
Memet said they have P.A.'s there doing a lot of things and they should have to go out and get lunch and things like that. Jason asked if they should all get their own lunches and stuff. Memet said yes to everyone but maybe Gary. Howard asked if Jason is so busy working that he doesn't have time. Memet said he has time to get coffee. He said they all spend time talking. He said at the end of the day everything is done. Jason said they get a whole rundown of Memet's day back in the office every day.
Howard said that Memet thinks Memet could be getting his own coffee. He said Jon is in that list too. Memet said Gary and Fred are in a special group. He said Benjy should get his own. Jason said he's been there almost 16 years and started out at the bottom. He said he started out at 19,000 a year and he's in the position where he can barely get up from the computer. He said that he is busy working on other things there. Jon said that's an entitlement right there. Jason said sometimes during the day he needs help. Fred asked what the issue is there. Howard said Memet is saying that the P.A.'s are there doing important things and they shouldn't have to stop doing what they're doing to get food. Jason said that's part of their list of tasks. He said he doesn't put that list together. Memet said if they didn't have that job given to them would they be sitting around or doing something else. Howard said he thinks Jason is entitled to that coffee.
Jason asked if Memet wants a meeting with the boss to talk about this. Memet said that he has made his opinion heard. Jon told him not to back down to Jason. Jason told Memet to ''Him 'em with the Hein.''
Howard said there it is. Jason said he'd like to apologize to anyone he has ever snapped at. Robin asked for an apology. Jon did too. Jason said he was just telling Memet to stand up to him. Jon said that he'd like an apology for mental anguish. Jason said if he wants mental anguish he'll give him mental anguish.
Jason said for an entire year they had meetings and Gary would leave his empty cup of seltzer and ice on the table. He said Jon should know that. He said he may have done it once but he doesn't do it constantly. He said Gary did it for 16 months straight. He said he has all of the pictures on his phone. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody after that.
Howard said he didn't know Gary was doing that kind of thing. Jason said Gary is still pissed at him about the Facebook thing. He said he was talking about invading his personal space and all of that. Gary said you can be a dick on the show but you have to expect repercussions. Jason said he knows that. Gary said the joy he takes in that stuff is annoying. Jon said that's right. It's about the glee he takes in seeing other people annoyed. Jason said he thinks he was the only guy in that office who was picked on in school and that's why he does it. Jason said it was so fun to put that Gary thing together yesterday. Howard said it was fun. Howard said Gary is the one who banned him so it was a year of being banned. Gary said he enjoyed hearing everyone talking about how entitled Jason feels he is. Jason said Gary isn't entitled at all. Jon said he has to admit he knows what Jason is talking about. He said after a meeting they all get up and leave and some people clean up and there were a couple of times that Gary left his can there. He said Jason took pictures and it became a thing for a while.
Gary said he doesn't do it anymore. He said it was brought to his attention and he stopped doing it. Howard asked Jon if he was aware of Gary's love of Cheerios. Jon said he was. He said he has a big box of them in his office. Howard said he forgot all about it. He played another Baba Booey song parody.
Howard said Elijah Wood is a big Vinyl fan like Gary. Howard said he has some audio of him on the Kelly Ripa show talking about vinyl. Howard played that and both Elijah and Kelly were talking about how much they like the sound.
Howard asked when Elijah Wood was last in a movie. Jason said he's been in a lot of great TV shows. Howard said Gary should go steady with Elijah. Howard said that's the man for him. He played another Baba Booey song parody about his love of vinyl.
Howard said he is one of the people who is grateful for technology so we don't have to deal with skipping anymore. Howard said you had to be careful with records. Howard said now DJ's have two computer screens and they don't have to do anything. Jon said he likes digital but he likes vinyl too. Fred said he likes it but he's not passionate about it. Jason said he has some but the majority is digital.
Howard said he has a producer who loves vinyl and Cheerios. Jason said he loves sunsets too. He laughed as he goofed on Gary about posting on Facebook about a sunset. Howard said Gary took a picture of his wife in front of the sunset and then asked her to take one of him in front of it.
Howard said the Filipino president, Rodrigo Duterte, gave a Baba Booey mention. He said that it means something in their language. Gary said it means ''to drive out pigs.'' Howard played the clip and Duterte said it a couple of times in a speech he was making.
Howard said he has a clip of Sour Shoes calling an internet show to talk about soccer. He called in as Richard Simmons. They called in with clips of Sour doing his Richard Simmons voice and annoyed the host of the show. The host took a couple of calls and Sour was doing different voices. The host kept hanging up on Sour. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he learned an interesting fact during the break. He said he was listening to Sour Shoes in that call earlier. He said he loves that laugh he does. Howard said the guys said that his phone has been disconnected and they haven't been able to get in touch with him for like a month. Howard said his parents did threaten to take it away from him. Howard said something either happened to him or he's being punished. Robin asked if they can call his parents to find out what's going on. Howard asked if they can do that.
Howard said they say he has a cell and a house phone and both don't work. Robin said they really cut him off. Howard wondered what the fuck happened. He said maybe he was deported. Robin said he does go on a run once in a while.
Robin said she hasn't announced who she's voting for. She's going to make Howard wait until election day. Howard said she is the news woman so she does have to be neutral.
Howard played audio of Shirley Manson going off on someone for throwing a beer at her at a show. Howard said she sounds like Jon Snow. Shirley yelled that pussy fights back. They went into a song after throwing out that person.
Howard said he is a fan of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Howard said Australia had the ultimate Bachelor season. He said two of the girls fell in love with each other. Howard said they're two of the hottest chicks ever too. Howard said they should make a special appearance there in the U.S. Howard said they're every guy's fantasy of a lesbian. He said he was busy looking up their pictures sitting at his desk. He said he must have stared at them for 15 minutes. He said they were so hot and they fell in love on The Bachelor. Howard said they're in bikinis on vacation with each other and they're super hot. Howard said that's interesting to him. Robin said they thought that was happening with two guys on one season of the show.
The caller said they have issues. He said his wife didn't spend anything while she was in the hospital. He said she ordered a pizza with cigarettes and booze. He said he added it all up and it came to like 400 bucks. Howard asked how she knows how to do it. The caller said she would call the pizza place and ask them to send it to Jeff. He said after the accident she was in the hospital and she wasn't able to send the stuff. He said she didn't have her personal stuff. He said Jeff attempted to have phone sex with her. She turned him down and blocked him after everything she did. Howard said he'd be pissed off if someone was sending that to Jeff.
Robin said if Beth decides to send it does she have to consult with Howard. Howard said they do make decisions about which charities to donate to. Robin asked if it's just a hobby. Howard said he'd want to be in on this discussion. Howard said he'd want to hold on to his money and not give it to Jeff.
The caller said his wife's name is Tonya and he knows who she is. Howard picked up on Jeff and Jeff said he knows who she is. Jeff said he was in a private 'scope and he was getting messages from her in his private scope. He said he blocked her and as soon as he blocked her it stopped. The caller said she doesn't have access to email. Jeff said she was in the room and she was the only one who it could be so he blocked her. Howard said she's sending him free stuff. Howard said he has to get to the bottom of this.
The caller said he's thinking about leaving her over this. He said he's upset with Jeff too. He said he told Jeff he's a private investigator and a former cop. He said he tried to have phone sex with her while she was in the hospital. Howard said that's his wife's fault, not Jeff's. The caller said Jeff knew all of this though. Howard said he still doesn't know what the email messages were about. Jeff explained that again and Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard asked Jeff if Tonya is in love with him. Jeff said he doesn't think so. The caller said he hasn't talked to his wife in a week. He said Jeff needs to talk to him. He said he's someone who has a lot of connections with the government and all of that. He said that this is going to get him kicked in the butt. Howard said the way he looks at it, it's not Jeff's fault. This is between this guy and his wife. The caller said that Jeff blocked her after she gave him all of this stuff. Howard said she's blocked now though. The caller said they're no longer talking. Howard said Jeff broke up a marriage. Jeff said that wasn't his intention. The caller said this is no joke. Jeff said he never said it was a joke. Howard said he's Jeff the Home Wrecker. Howard asked if he wants him to unblock his wife. The caller said he doesn't give a shit what he does.
Howard asked what he wants Jeff to do. The caller said he knows Jeff has nothing to do with the show but he's worse than High Pitch. He said people are sending him stuff and then he blocks them and calls them trolls. He said this is the kind of bullshit that's going to come to an end.
Howard said his ruling on it is that he's pissed off at his wife but Jeff can go on and ask for free stuff. He said Jeff is doing nothing wrong technically. He said asking for free stuff is legal. The caller said his wife felt bad for him and she liked seeing him smile getting this stuff. He said this lady cared about him. Howard said here's what you do. He said you talk to the wife and tell her not to spend money without consulting with him first. Howard asked if she had phone sex with her. Jeff said he tried but he didn't. The caller asked why he would try if he knew his daughter was in the room. Jeff said he wasn't aware of that fact.
The caller kept mentioning that Jeff blocked his wife so Howard wondered why he's so upset about that. The caller said that's just what he wanted to share with Howard. Howard asked if he wants her unblocked. The caller said he's going to file for divorce when she gets out of the hospital. Howard said he doesn't have to go that far. The caller said she's sending Jeff money without telling him. He said they're married. He said he'd be fine with it if she told him she was doing it. Howard said he agrees with him there.
Howard took a call from The Lump who said shame on Jeff. Howard said he accidentally hung up on Jeff and the caller. Howard asked what's going on with Jeff on Twitter. The Lump said he's investing in new Christmas lights for the trailer.
Howard said he's sorry he hung up on the guys. He said it was kind of interesting. He said he can't believe Jeff is causing a guy to file for divorce. Howard asked Jeff to stop seducing women like that. Howard said Anthony Weiner just called and said Jeff is a scumbag.
A short time later Howard got Jeff back on the phone but he asked Robin if she's doing okay. Robin said she's fine. Howard said he was talking about her with a guy. Robin asked if that guy is owed an email. Howard said he is.
Howard had the private investigator caller, Tony, back on the phone. Howard said it is kind of weird that his wife is involved with Jeff and causing problems. Tony said that he always thought people sending money to these evangelists and stuff were crazy or simple. He said his wife is a doctor and she's not stupid. Howard said he once had an argument with Beth when they went away somewhere. He said Beth told him there was a psychic there and she was going to go there. Howard said he told her he can see things happening with them but if she goes to a psychic he's not paying for it. Howard said Beth offered to pay for it herself. He said she went and paid for it. He said the psychic tried to break them up. Howard said she told Beth she was with a man who she shouldn't be with. Howard said when he found out about that he went looking for this psychic to talk to her. Howard said she was in her Gypsy wagon hiding from him. Howard said this asshole was going to ruin their relationship. Robin said that's what Jeff has done to this guy.
Howard said he would tell Tony that he would sit down with his wife and figure out how to fix this. He said it's not something to divorce over. Tony said the only thing he'd give her leeway on is that she was in the hospital. He said she felt bad for him. He said to think that he blocked her after all he did is upsetting too. Howard said he's still not sure why he's upset about that. Tony said he's so upset about the whole thing that he's grasping at anything. Howard said Jeff blocked a doctor who is sending him stuff. He said that's what's hard to believe.
Jeff said that he knows Tonya feels bad for putting her husband through all of this. He said she feels bad in the hospital. Howard said there's nothing worse than Jeff telling you how your wife feels. Tony said he's arguing with this guy. He asked what he's doing. Howard said it's entertaining as hell whatever he's doing.
Howard said maybe his wife is delusional. Tony said that she broke her neck and back in the accident. Jeff said he's going to unblock her. Tony started laughing. He said he wishes Fred had a gunshot sound because he wants to shoot himself. He said he's not a controlling guy and he has no problem with her listening to Howard or watching Jeff. He said the problem he has is spending money on Jeff without him knowing about it. He said that's fine to give him money but just let him know about it.
Howard told Tony to go talk to his wife. He said it would be wrong in this universe if Jeff caused a divorce. Howard said he's amazed that he blocked her. Robin said she didn't have her credit card with her in the hospital. Tony said she stopped giving him stuff for a month. Jeff said that has nothing to do with it. He said that's not why he blocked her. Tony said Jeff thinks everyone is a troll. He said she's not a troll.
Howard asked Jeff if he thought she was into him. Jeff said he had another girl who was but that turned out to be a guy. Jeff said that person pretended to be a pretty girl who was into him and she was always in his room. He said he blocked her and then she came at him on Twitter the next day. Howard said he gets what he's saying. He said Jeff was afraid that his wife was a dude. Tony said she had to go through some kind of credential to see that she was a woman.
Tony said he doesn't listen to Howard all the time but he appreciates what he does. Howard took a call from a woman pretending to be Tony's wife who said she's done with both of these assholes after this.
Howard said he doesn't think Jeff or even the wife did anything wrong. He said the only thing she did was not be more open about the money thing. Tony said that his marriage was so good though. Howard said it's not worth throwing it all away over Jeff. Tony said he's trying to have a life with his daughter and running his business. He said then this is going on. Howard said he's going to let the two of them go. Howard asked who would have thought that Jeff would block someone that nice to him. Howard let Tony go and then let Jeff go a short time later. Robin said Jeff's got game.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that Jeff blocked him on Periscope on Friday. Howard asked if he sent him a pizza. Erik said he didn't. He said he'd like that guy's wife to send him a pizza. Howard said if she's listening please follow High Pitch. He said he'll definitely fleece her. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard said Gary had to leave a little early today so Underdog will be producing today. Rachel Butera did her Underdog Lady voice and talked to Howard over Gary's mic. She told Howard she's there to clear the studio of his demonic ways.
Robin started her news with a story about a bogus talent agent raping women after they auditioned for him for different films. Robin said this guy was 33 years old from Kansas. Underdog Lady interrupted and ended up singing Robin's theme song in it's proper Latin. Fred played her theme music and Underdog sang along to it. Then she freaked out when she dropped her pen. Howard said he didn't know her song had lyrics. Underdog is Satan so he wouldn't know Latin. Underdog said she just dropped a stack of tapes that star someone named Anal Porn. Howard said that's Gary's porn collection. She said she can't talk now because Jason is snapping his fingers at her.
Robin read more about the fake talent agent. She said she was also accused of scamming people out of their wedding pictures. Howard asked why not just make a film. Then he wouldn't have to go to jail. Robin said he never thought of that.
Robin read a story about how women do have equality now on how they drink as much as men do. Robin said women used to be the lesser sex on how much they drank and abused alcohol. Fred played a clip of a stripper saying ''Vodka straight up! Thank you!'' Underdog said alcohol has never touched her lips. She said she only drinks after listening to Howard's vile show. Robin read more details about this study about drinking.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is the dumbest person in the world. He said he has a wife who looks like Howard's wife. He said they've been married over 15 years and she finds a way to orgasm every night. He said the stupid part is that about a week ago she mentioned she was getting sore from him fucking her so long. He said he started jerking off in front of her and she was helping him out but that has spiraled into her pushing his hand down there more. He said he getting sex every night but now it's him forcing his hand down there. Underdog interrupted and said this is the devil's work. The caller said he's doing it a lot now but laying next to his wife. He asked what his solution is. Underdog yelled ''Buurrrrrn!'' Howard laughed. Howard wondered what he would do. The caller said he goes every night and he loves it. He said he felt guilty that she was getting sore. Howard said now he has to jerk off every night? The caller said it's back and forth. Howard said doing it every night is a bit obsessive. Howard said maybe 2 or 3 times a week. The caller said she initiates it. Howard said maybe they should keep doing it then. Howard said he thinks it's kind of hot that she's helping out. Howard said maybe she likes watching him jerk off.
Howard said he thinks if she's jerking you off it's no problem. He said he would stick with it. He said if she's still doing it a few times a week that's pretty good. Howard said he should stick to it. Robin said she thinks she realizes he needs it and she's helping. Underdog asked them to please stop. Howard moved on.
Robin read a story about the Pope and the Vatican coming out against the scattering of ashes. Robin said the new rules are that Catholics can be cremated but not scattered or kept in urns at home. Robin said they say they should be kept in a sacred place. Robin said they can only be kept at home with special permission. Howard asked who knew they even cared. Underdog asked where she can scatter her cat's ashes. Howard said he's not sure about that. Underdog said she missed that because she's binge watching Happy Days. Howard talked about that a little more and Underdog said ''That's just the Pope's will you dirty Jew.''
Robin read a story about the Pope's vacation spot and how big and expensive the place is. Robin asked why he needs something so nice because he's got no one to impress.
Robin read a story about a woman suing KFC over false advertising. She claims she ordered something at KFC and it didn't look like the chicken in the ads. Robin said now she's suing for $20 million. Howard said he has to get in on some of these suits. Underdog asked if she can clean up Gary's office and get rid of the Post-it notes all over. She said dental paraphernalia has fallen all over the place too. She was screaming as it was falling. Howard said he heard that Norm Macdonald isn't the real colonel at KFC so he's suing too.
Robin read a story about Apple renaming OS-X to just Mac OS. Howard said their profits have dropped for the first time in years. Robin said they think they won't have enough phones on hand for the holidays.
Howard said just so everyone knows that's not the real Underdog over there. He said that's Rachel. Underdog said burn in Hell to Apple because the apple was the downfall of man in the bible. Underdog started singing church songs while she was talking about that. Robin read more about what the new Mac OS is going to include.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's calling to thank Benjy. He said he was planing on being late today but he encouraged him to book it to work and show up on time. Howard said Benjy's lateness brought something to this guy's life which is good. Howard let the guy go and did a live commercial read. After that Underdog said she's on Gary's Facebook page and it's longer than the bible. She asked why someone with such an awful face would be on something called Facebook. She said she's set up a profile on something called Workbook. Howard said Gary should follow her lead.
Robin read a story about an NFL player who was let go from a team. Gary showed back up and mentioned something about the story. Howard said he was supposed to be gone from the show and Underdog was producing. Underdog went off on him for showing up. She said she booked Brad Pitt for the show. Underdog said one of his employees was speaking in tongues but she was advised that's just the way he talks.
Robin read a story about how more than half the adults with mental illness in the country are not getting help. Robin read more about this report. Howard said his plan if he were President would be to give all of those people a Periscope account. Howard said there's just not enough money to help everyone out. Robin said there is enough money but they don't put it in the right places.
Robin read a story that says women will not make the same money as men until the year 2186. Howard said that's a long time to go. Underdog said rapture will take us all before then. Howard said he's going to do the math on that. Howard tried figuring it out. It took him a minute to come up with the answer. He said it's in 2170 years. Robin said it's 170 years. Howard said that can't be right. Robin said he'd have to subtract 2016 from 2186. Howard said that's too hard for him. He said Baron Trump will be on his 8th wife by then. Robin read more about that study. Underdog said that Howard's brain is being turned to mush from all of the brother/sister porn. Howard wondered if Benjy will be on time by 2186. Howard said he won't be around by then. He said he'll be partying with Sam Kinison.
Robin read a story about the Mormons and how they are trying to let people know it's okay to be Mormon and gay. Robin said they have a web site called Mormon And Gay and they have stories of members who are gay. Robin had some audio of someone in the church talking about that. Underdog asked if Howard knows the difference between a Mormon and a gay Mormon. Howard said ''Uh oh...'' Underdog said there is no difference because they're all burning in hell. Howard said he doesn't worry about that stuff. He said that he just does his thing and lets people do their thing.
Robin read a story about candy and a study that was done about candy and sugar. Robin had audio of a woman talking about how to work with sugar and kids. Robin said sugar rewires the brain for addiction. Howard said Gary eats a lot of sugar. Underdog said it's evil and leads to homosexuality.
Howard tried to trick Gary into speaking again. He asked for Gary and Gary paused but said ''am I here now?'' Howard tricked him. Howard said Monday they have a big Halloween show. He said he's going to take Robin into a haunted house like she's never seen. Howard said they're going to have genital horror stories and phony phone calls and a lot of fun.
Robin said that the decorative contact lenses that people use on Halloween aren't good for you. Howard said of course they're not. Howard asked how people don't know that by now. Robin had some audio from the FDA talking about the contacts and how dangerous they are. Howard said Richard used them and scratched his eyes with them. Howard asked why you would risk your eye sight with something like that. Underdog said you don't put anything in any hole in your body. Robin had more audio of this FDA guy talking about how dangerous the contacts can be. Howard said Richard thinks it was worth the risk. Howard asked why you'd buy contacts like that. Howard said it's a 45 year old man celebrating Halloween.
Howard said he has a message from Richard's dad. He asked Underdog where it is. She freaked out saying she can't take the pressure. Will told him where it is. Howard played the message and Richard's dad was talking about going deer hunting and his mom shot one but he didn't see any. He said they went to a place that was over stocked. He talked about a new pond near the house and the river otters killing everything in the pond. Howard said he has to go visit him. Robin asked how long he'd last there. Howard said about 10 minutes. Howard asked what was going on in that pond. He said something about stocking the pond and the river otters killing the fish. Howard said he loves that guy. Robin said he loves the Beverly Hillbillies too.
Robin read a story about Sumner Redstone trying to get $100 million back from two girlfriends. Robin said he's 93 years old. Robin said Howard talks about how much he loves women but will this guy ever stop. Howard said he's 93 and he's still carrying on about women. Howard said he's talking to Stephen Hawking through a talking iPad or something too. Howard said he used to work for the guy. He said he went to work for Sirius and then they tried to sue him. Howard said he was probably in his 80s back then. Howard said one night he went out to dinner and Sumner was there and walked over wishing him success in his new job. Howard wondered if he even knew he was suing him. He said Les must not have told him about the lawsuit. Howard said he hopes that when he gets to 90 something that his dick leaves him alone. Underdog asked Howard to pray together with her. She started singing some church song and Howard sang along with her. Then Gary's dental equipment fell down again and made her stop.
Howard said he would hope that his dick would give up by that age. He said he just wants it to leave him alone by then. Howard said that dude's dick has gotten him into a ton of trouble. Howard said that guy is holding on. He said it's a family operation but this guy is out of his gourd. Howard said he knows some guys over there and they think they might have to bury him alive. Howard said they're all in limbo. Howard said Les is like ''What the fuck.'' Howard said he hopes he's not thinking about BJs when he's that guy's age. Howard just bury him and no one will know. He said Les probably has to go visit him on occasion and he wonders what he's telling him and it turns out he's mumbling ''eat my asshole.'' Howard said Les is burying his tongue up there just to keep him happy. Howard did an impression of what that would sound like. Howard said when he dies they should examine his cock. He said he's on his death bed and thinking about this stuff. Howard spent a couple of minutes doing the Sumner Redstone impression telling Les which shows to cancel. Howard said he almost went off on Sumner that night at diner. He said that he wanted to yell at him about Les and Joel Hollander suing him over nothing and how he could put a stop to it but he didn't do it. Howard said in the end he won... sort of.
Robin read a story about a father who committed suicide in New Jersey and took his two kids with him. Robin said the dad is dead but the kids are alive. Robin said the boys have minor injuries. Robin said they are 1 and 3 years old. Robin said they both have concussions and one has a bruised leg. Robin said a high fence was supposed to stop this but it didn't work. Robin said he jumped off an overpass with his two kids in his arms.
Robin read a story about the presidential candidates going around the country campaigning. Robin said Hillary Clinton is celebrating her 69th birthday in Florida. Robin said Trump is at a ribbon cutting for his new hotel in Washington DC.
Robin read a story about Obamacare premiums going up about 25 percent. Robin said Mike Pence pounced on that and said the increases are heartbreaking. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about Justin Timberlake taking a selfie of himself while voting and he was going to be investigated but they dropped the investigation. Robin said it is illegal to take photos inside the voting booth.
Robin said she doesn't want Jeffrey Dean Morgan to get to high profile. Robin said they have him on talk shows. She said she wants to buy into him being this evil person on The Walking Dead. Howard said she wants him to be like Heath Ledger and go full on Negan. Robin said he should stay off of TV shows. Howard said they say that Heath Ledger was acting like the Joker when he was preparing for his role. Howard asked if Robin wants the guy to go around with that baseball bat with the barbed wire on it and hit people with it. Robin said he should do what he has to do. Robin had some audio of Morgan talking about the hate mail he's getting now that he's playing this character. Howard said they're going to have him come in next week to discipline Benjy. Robin wrapped up her news and Underdog asked them to join in with her in song to end the show. She stared singing again and then Gary's dental equipment fell on her again. Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
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Here's what they replayed on Howard 100 today:
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Here's what they played on Friday's replay show on Howard 100:
Today's show was over around 11:10am.