|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show saying good morning to Robin and Fred. He even said good morning to Benjy. Howard said now he can feel included.
Howard said they're very busy today. He said they have Gary and Scott DePace's kids coming in to play Who Knows Their Kid Better. Howard said he has the feeling Scott is going to lose. Howard said Gary knows everything about his kids. He said he may even know more about Scott's kids than Scott does. Howard said he's not saying Scott is a bad dad but he gets very competitive. Howard said he'll say to Gary that he's like the best dad an Scott will hear that and say that he's a great dad too. Scott said he said that to Gary. He said Gary told him that he golfs too much so he's not a great dad.
Howard said Gary will be with his kids when it's good for them. He said Scott will be with his kids when it's good for him.
Howard asked Scott if his hands shaking is getting worse. Scott said it is pretty bad but he's doing like 8 things in there. He said it's not Parkinson's either. He said it's called Essential Tremors.
Gary came in and said that someone suggested that they bring their pets in to see whose is smarter and Scott said that his dog is smarter than his. Scott said he's just kidding around about that and Gary gets upset. Gary said it's only when he says something that he'll bring that up. Scott said he's just joking around about it and Gary gets so upset. Scott said he's seen Gary's dog and it pees on the floor.
Howard said Scott's son, Kyle, is there and so is Gary's son Lucas. Howard said they're going to find out who the better dad is. Gary said that makes Scott crazy. Howard said he knows that. He said Scott will complain that it's not fair or that it was fixed. Gary said that he will have to say that he's a much better father than he is to calm Scott down.
Scott said he knows his kid and he's right over his shoulder. He asked Kyle if he knows him. Kyle said they talk a lot and he does know him. Howard said that poor kid. Howard asked if Kyle gets a word in. Kyle said he listens a lot. Fred said it's like Stockholm syndrome.
Howard asked Lucas if he thinks he'll win this. Lucas said he thinks the Dell'Abates will take this one. Scott said he's wrong. Robin asked if Scott and Lucas have played games together. Gary said that was actually with Jackson. Scott said he shot him in the head and in the back in Halo. Howard asked Kyle if he thinks that's weird. Kyle said that he plays against him online too. They have two xBoxes so they can play at the same time.
Sal came in and said everyone has had a moment in their life that was like that. He said there are no coincidences. He said if you think you see something that had to do with a guardian angel or something then it's true. Howard asked what he's talking about. Howard said everyone wants to keep a straight face when they're pitching things like this but it's hard.
Sal said he's trying to find his guardian angel. Howard said there isn't one for him. Howard asked why he's looking for one. Sal said we all have one. Howard asked how he knows that. Sal said that Theresa (The Long Island Medium) mentions it in her book. Howard said these are people who are looking for something in their life and you're never going to find it. Howard said people think they can have super powers but no one does. Howard said his aunt died when he was little and he thought she was looking down on him but she's just not there.
Howard asked Sal how he can get up and say this stuff to people. Sal said he thinks everyone has had something like this happen to them. He said when he was 15 his bed levitated. He said his nose was 5 inches from the ceiling and he was about 15 years old at the time. He said he looked at the ceiling and his bed went crashing down to the floor. He said he ran to his mom and told her what happened. Sal said his sister heard the bed crash down. Howard said there were no witnesses to this. He said he had a dream and that's it. Howard insisted that this did not happen. Sal said these things do happen and people have a connection. Howard Sal has tried to be famous in his life and this is just another way to get noticed.
Howard said people like Pat Robertson pray on people like Sal. Howard asked where the clip of Robertson was from this weekend. Howard said Pat Robertson sits there talking about Jesus and then he makes a comment like this. Howard played the clip and Pat was asked why he never prays for people to grow limbs back like he does for shrinking tumors. Pat Robertson says they have had stories about things growing back and things like that happen. Howard said none of this happens. He said there is no proof.
Sal said he doesn't believe in that stuff. He said this is all organized religion. He said anything is possible but what happened to him was not a dream. Robin asked if anything in Sal's room was disturbed from his bed falling to the floor. Sal said no.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal should have his own show. He said he's great. Howard said he only has a few little gems like this that come out.
Robin said she's heard people say that they had relatives visit and all she thought was that they made it up. Sal said that's what he's saying. He said when you hear something on the radio then it's a message from a loved one. Sal said he doesn't believe in Pat Robertson and all of that garbage. He said that stuff is ridiculous.
Howard said sometimes he thinks he's having a reasonable discussion with Sal off the air but then he talks about this stuff. He asked if this is an act. Sal said Howard is so enlightened and he wouldn't be so miserable if he just believed in this stuff. Sal said he just believes in the afterlife. He said that's all it comes down to.
Sal said he just wanted to see if there was a connection and that's why he was reading this book. Howard asked Sal if he thinks that maybe it's his low IQ. Sal said absolutely not. He said he doesn't have a low IQ. It was just in this vicinity that he had a low IQ. Howard said Sal is floating around the studio right now. He said that his head is bald from slamming into the lights.
Howard asked if he's given any money to the Long Island Psychic. Sal said he has not. Howard said he should pay her to tell him who lifted him. Sal is friends with her. Howard said he should ask her why that happened. Howard said she'll go into a trance and tell him.
Howard told Sal he has some abilities. He looked at him and said he could see what was lifting the bed. Fred played some eerie music and Howard said he could see Sal on the bed at 15. He asked the spirit world why he went up in the air that day. Howard waited for the answer. Nothing was happening. Howard said it's because God realized he wanted Sal back because he was a mistake. Howard said he was trying to get him back when the bed fell. Sal said this is why he never should have spoken about this. He said he had the balls to bring it up and then this happens.
Howard said even Sal's dopey friend Richard doesn't believe in this shit. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Richard talking about that. Sal said something has happened to Howard and he refuses to talk about it. Howard said nothing has happened. Howard said the only thing that happened to him is Sal. Howard asked if he hit his head a lot as a child. Sal said his dad did slam his head into a meat locker a few times. He said one time his dad smashed his finger because of him so he slammed his head into the locker.
Howard said Sal talked about his beauty regimen last week on the Wrap UP Show. Howard said he talked about using Rogaine first thing in the morning. Then he puts cream on his eyes to cover up his racoon eyes. Howard said you have to hear this clip. Howard said kids made fun of his racoon eyes when he was in school. Howard said there were stains on the ceiling from all of that when he was 15.
Howard played the clip from last Wednesday's Wrap Up Show where Sal talked about using his Aveeno cream and all of that stuff. Howard was goofing on Sal about screwing up the ''Colloidal'' oatmeal thing. Howard played more of the audio and goofed on what Sal was saying.
Howard asked Sal if he has hair plugs. Sal said he doesn't and then bent over to show them. Howard said he hardly has any hair. Sal said he thinks that having shorter hair covers up the bald spots better.
Howard played more of the audio where Sal talks about being called Racoon Boy as a child. He said that was embarrassing so he had an insecurity about his eyes and now he covers that up.
Howard said Sal talked about getting tanning spray all over the walls. He also gets hair spray on the walls so now he runs down the hall spraying it so it doesn't get on the walls. Howard said Sal is a married guy and he doesn't need to do all of this. Sal said he wants to look good. Howard asked if he has a girlfriend. Sal said he has been doing some movies and stuff. He said he did one a couple of weeks ago. Howard said he's doing this all for film roles. Sal said he's trying to look young. He said he just turned 44.
Howard asked what kind of role this was. Sal said he played a gas station attendant. He said it's a Friday the 13th kind of movie. He said he did all of his make up and then they did make up on him and made him look like crap again.
Howard played a clip of Sal talking about how he makes up his face. Howard wondered how long that takes. Sal said he has it down to a science. It's not that long for him. Howard said it makes him feel weird that he hired him. He said it's like he's retarded. Sal said he just has a ritual to make himself look better. Howard asked if it's true he had to check his luggage to get through the airport. Sal said that is true. He said he brings a bottle of Aveeno that's too big to bring in carry on luggage.
Howard said he doesn't follow Eric but people CC him on them. Howard said Jim McClure was reading some of his tweets in a meeting and they were great. Howard read some of his tweets and Eric was upset about someone saying that he doesn't get cum on his glasses. He also curses a lot. Eric was upset about being called a midget in another one. There was one where he was saying he isn't delusional.
Howard said people just say things to get him to write back. Eric said he knows that. Howard read another tweet about how he doesn't collect pubic hair. He had one where he got upset about people accusing him of wearing diapers. Sal said he knows he saw a diaper on him. Eric said Sal needs to get his eyes examined. Howard asked Sal if he's telling the truth. Sal said he's just fucking with him.
Robin asked if he types this stuff himself. Eric said he does it on his iPad. Sal said he runs over the keyboard with his wheelchair. Eric said he uses the on screen keypad on his iPad. Howard said he just yells at people all day. Howard said Eric will yell at people about not doing things that they accuse him of. Howard said people read all of that and that's why they keep saying it. Howard asked if he does this to defend himself for girls to see. Eric said he guesses so.
Gary said Eric got upset last night when someone said he was a jinx for the Oakland A's. He said that he was saying that without him then they wouldn't be in the playoffs. Eric said all he was saying was that he isn't a jinx because if he was then they wouldn't be in the playoffs.
Howard said you can say anything you want to this guy and Eric will defend himself. Howard said someone said that he has a lazy eye and he defended himself saying that he doesn't have a lazy eye.
Gary said JD told him that someone accused him of being on Mama's Family and Eric even got upset about that. Howard said someone accused him of being gay and Eric freaked out on that guy. Then someone wrote that he was a bug eyed toad and he told that guy to go fuck himself. Howard asked if he has to answer everyone. Eric said no. Robin asked if he thinks people are going to believe he's a bug eyed toad.
Howard said it doesn't matter what you say to him. He said that he'll defend it. Howard said people get on him about losing to Jeff the Drunk in the acting thing too. Howard said someone accused him of having tits and he defended himself in that one too. Howard said Eric writes back to just about everyone. Howard said he tells everyone to fuck off. Eric said that someone keeps saying that he's going to die alone, broke and miserable and not be mourned. Howard asked why he would write him back. Eric said he doesn't know. He said he feels like fighting back with him. Robin said he says that makes him upset though.
Howard said if someone said that stuff to him he'd just think that they don't know him. Sal said his IQ must be a lot lower than his. He said that he knows he'll be mourned. Howard said Sal is excited that he can goof on someone.
Robin asked Eric if he's ever had his bed lift off the floor. Eric said no. Howard said he has the number of tweets Eric has written. He asked if they think it's over 10,000 or under 10,000. Robin said she was thinking it was around 10,000. She said under. Sal said he thinks it's over. Fred thought it was over. Howard said it's over 22,000 tweets. Robin said ''Oh my goodness Eric.'' Howard said that's a lot of tweets. Howard said almost every one of them has ''you dumb fuck'' in them. Eric said that he writes to people and he'll get harassed about that. Fred started to do his impression of Eric where he says one word at a time with a pause in between.
Howard said someone must have called Eric a Brony and that set him off. Howard read Eric's response to that too. Eric was saying that they're all sick in the head and everyone can go fuck themselves. Howard said all of that cursing shows that he has a poor command of the language. Sal said he's probably changing his diaper right now. Eric said no. Eric said the other reason he called was to talk about the contest last week. Eric said he wanted to show he has no ill will toward losing to Jeff. He said he asked Johnny to start a Kickstarter account... Howard cut him off and said he had to go. Robin asked why he would be starting a Kickstarter account. Howard had no idea. Howard said the good thing is that you can hang up on Eric when you get tired of talking to him. Howard said Robin can call him off the air if she wants to.
Howard got back to Sal and asked if he thinks about how other people there should be doing things. Sal said he thinks people there look better than him. He said even Benjy looks somewhat decent. Howard asked what he could do with his blotchy skin. Sal said the Aveeno might help.
Sal said Benjy's face looks like ass rash. He said he uses the Aveeno on his ass rash and he thinks that might work for Benjy's face. Benjy said his face is fine right now. He said it's caused by dry skin. Sal said it works for his ass rash so it should work for Benjy's face. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
Howard came back and sang along with the Cat Stevens song. He said he kind of knew some of the words. Robin said that's sad that he knows that song. Howard said they're doing the Father and Son game now so that's why Fred played that.
Howard said Scott and Gary are always arguing about something. Gary said the truth is that he'll say something and Scott will argue with him. Scott said that he wasn't the one who threw this challenge down. He said Gary did. Howard said Scott is the only one who challenges anyone there.
Howard asked Scott's son Kyle if he argues with a lot of people like this. Kyle said he argues with his brother about movies and stuff. Scott said he's the hard liner and his wife is not. He said she'll give in and he'll be the one who says they have to watch a movie or something. He said last night they had Chili for dinner and his son wanted the lime flavored chips but he didn't want to open the other bag. Gary asked what would happen if he gave in and opened the other bag. Scott said he makes a bad father if he does that. He said his son was whining a little bit so he ridiculed him a little. He said his wife agreed with him this time. He said that she told him no whining.
Howard told Kyle to blink once if he wants out of the house. He said it looks like he did so he's getting him out of there.
Howard asked Kyle if it was going to be so bad if he opened the chips. Kyle said his brother said that the other chips hurt his mouth. Scott said they're practically the same thing. Howard said they are to Scott but maybe not his son Derek. Howard said maybe he could be different in his house than his parents were.
Howard asked Scott if he likes some chips more than others. Scott said he does. He said he might like the regular ones over the lime flavored. Howard said maybe he could have opened the other bag and let him have what he prefers. Howard asked Kyle what he thinks. Scott told him to get on a phone to a child psychologist to ask who is right in this. Howard said he doesn't think he has to fight this fight. Gary said fighting over chips isn't the thing to choose a fight over. Scott said he's learning not to fight him on things. Howard asked how he's going to learn his own way.
Scott asked Lucas if he ever does yard work. Lucas said he does use the leaf blower now and then. He said they have someone who cuts their lawn.
Howard asked Kyle about what he had for dinner last night. He had mini hot dogs. Howard said he got to have what he wanted.
Howard said it seems like Kyle's microphone isn't on. Howard had Scott the engineer come in to talk about that. Scott said he's trying to figure it out from out there. Howard pointed out that he's in the middle of eating too.
Howard asked if he just turned the microphone on. Scott said one channel is bad so he took that one out and used the good one. Howard told him to go back and finish his breakfast. Howard said you'd think he'd come in earlier when you can't hear the kid. Howard asked what's going on around there. Howard asked Lucas if he's ever seen anything like this. Lucas said he hasn't. Howard said he's too nice and keeps everyone around.
Howard said they test the microphones before they do the segment and this still happens. DePace said that his headphones are cutting in and out and distracting him. Gary said his are too. Howard did his impression of Scott the Engineer and goofed on him for a minute.
Howard started the game and had Fred play the intro. Howard said hello to Gary and said he's there with his son Lucas. Howard said the sponsor is from CedarCide.com.
Howard said Lucas thinks his dad is a good dad. Howard said Lucas is in the 10th grade and asked how that is. Lucas said he's having a good time. Howard said he likes to spin records too. Howard said that he likes music that black people make. Gary said he's listening to EDM lately. He said it's all Swedish people that make that stuff. Lucas does Deejaying and he makes a few bucks doing that. Gary said he was a roadie for him for him last year and he got around $500 to do a private gig. Lucas does some stuff at school too.
Howard said he heard that Lucas was thinking of becoming Jewish a few years ago. Lucas said his friend's mother got him into that and he did think about it. He said he isn't into that now. Howard asked if he wanted to sing with him. Fred played a song and Howard gave him a little song. Howard said that's a tough song to learn. Lucas said that was just a short term phase.
Howard asked if he was raised Catholic. Gary said he hasn't really been raised as anything. Scott asked if he was baptized. Gary didn't remember. Lucas said he didn't remember either.
Howard said the game today is who knows their son better. Howard asked Lucas if he thinks they'll win. Lucas said he does.
Howard moved over to Scott DePace and his son Kyle. Howard asked if Kyle feels competitive. Kyle said he odes. Howard asked why his mic still isn't working. Howard had him talk into another one that worked. Howard asked what's going on there. He said he was going out of his mind there. Howard said Kyle is right on the mic and he sounds like he's not. Howard said he's not sure why he has to put up with this.
Howard said he has been at this game way too long. Howard asked Kyle what grade he's in. He's in 7th grade. Howard asked how that's going. Kyle said ''medium.'' Scott interrupted and said that he's doing great in school. Howard asked what his favorite subject is. Kyle said he likes math. Howard said he's still struggling with math himself. Howard asked Scott what he does on the show. Scott said he's a director. Howard asked Kyle if he knows what his dad does. Kyle said he directs things. Scott said that his kids don't ask what he does. He said they see Howard on TV and they know that's the guy who he works with.
Kyle said his dad gives really long answers and he doesn't like to listen to him. Even Scott laughed about that.
Howard asked if Scott is approached by fans on the street. Scott said it only happens once or twice a year. Lucas said there are guys yelling out Baba Booey and things like that when they go out to a baseball game or something. Howard asked if it confused him as a kid when he was growing up. Lucas said he had no idea what they were saying to him. Howard said he heard that he isn't allowed to listen to the show. Lucas said he's not but if he was anyone else then he probably could listen. Gary said that there are things that he doesn't want him to know about him.
Scott asked if he ever called his dad Baba Booey. Lucas said he has done that a few times when he was younger. He said he was just kidding about that though.
Howard asked Lucas if he's ever listened to the show on his own. Lucas said he has found out some stuff that he probably shouldn't have. Scott asked if he found out about his father's foot fungus. Lucas said they're very aware of that already. Gary said he's on the 7th medication in 10 years. Howard said that fungus will stand up to anything. Gary said that he went to CVS to get this medication and it was $1100. Lucas said his name should be Fafa Fungus. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Howard said it's time to play the game. Howard asked Kyle if he's afraid that his father is going to steal his hair. Kyle said some nights he's more scared than others. Howard said he has pretty long hair. Scott said it's too long and his other son's is very short. He said he lets him make his own decision on that though.
Scott said he has told his kid that some day he has this to look forward to. Howard asked if his wife's father has a full head of hair. Scott said he does. Howard said Kyle will keep his hair then. Kyle said that's good news. Howard said he should taunt him with that hair. Scott said his other son does that at the dinner table.
Howard said he's going to ask Gary and Scott to leave the room now. He's going to ask the kids various questions and they'll have to match with their dads.
Howard asked the kids questions like...
After asking the questions they had Gary and Scott come back in. Howard went through the questions with them. Here's what the dad's answers were:
After the game Scott was upset about the last answer. He said that most shows would have them give an answer. Gary said his answer was that he's never been in trouble. Howard said both dads did equally well. Howard said it was a weird last question since Scott did say that his son doesn't really get in trouble. Gary said he thought he was pretty stellar. Howard said both dads were pretty great. Gary said that he's the loser though because Scott did better than they thought he would.
Howard said because they were so close he won't make Scott read the statement about Gary being the better dad. Scott said he'll just say that he is just as good a dad as Gary is. Gary said he was one point better than Scott in the IQ test and he was one point better in this game. Scott said he'll admit that. Howard asked the kids if they think that this is kind of juvenile. Lucas said he thinks that he and Kyle are more mature than their dads.
Howard said the kids won $250 for playing. Howard asked what they're going to do with the money. Kyle said he wants to buy something like a laptop or something. Howard said that will be tough to find. Scott said a Google Chromebook is $250. Howard wasn't aware of that. Scott said they have them in school. Howard said he thinks that he'd have fun in school now. Scott said he's not all for the Apple stuff. He said they're dumbed down products. Howard asked Kyle if he isn't allowed to have an Apple product. Kyle said he has an iPod Touch. Scott said when he asks him questions about it he doesn't want anything to do with it. Lucas said he thinks that he's forcing his beliefs on his kids.
Howard asked Lucas what he's going to do with the $250. Lucas said he'll put it in the bank or buy some DJ equipment. Howard wrapped up and started to go to break but Scott had one more question. He asked Lucas if his dad taught him how to pitch. Lucas said he did and he's pretty good. Gary said his pitch was a bad moment for him. Lucas said he was catching for his dad before he did that pitch. Howard said that's enough of that. He said Scott lost fair and square. Howard asked Kyle if he talks politics with his dad. Kyle said he never does. Gary asked if Kyle is a democrat or a republican. Kyle asked what the difference is. Scott said he hates that his kids like this DeBlasio guy. He said they like his commercials. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Howard came back and said Tom Arnold is stopping by. Howard said he always has good energy. Howard said he's got a new movie out. Howard asked Gary to put the mic closer to his mouth. Gary did that but it wasn't close enough. Tom told Gary to get his kid back in there.
Tom said it's weird to see Ronnie out there when he greets him. He said you expect someone big to be security but he's so small. Howard said he makes sure things runs smoothly and if something happens he can call someone in there. Robin said he actually does a really good job. Robin said he was helping her out at her book signings. Howard said Ronnie ran away when someone threw a fake snake at him on AGT.
Howard said Tom just had a baby and he's 54 years old. Tom said he can't feel old because he has a kid. He said he's lost over 50 pounds since the kid was born. He said things are great. He said his wife is doing sleep training with the kid. Howard said Tom didn't have a kid with Roseanne so that's a good thing. Tom said that it would be horrible if they had. He said there's no telling what would have been said during the divorce if they did have a kid. Tom said that it was his fault that they didn't have a kid. He said he has a low sperm count. He said Ashley went through this and he never thought they were going to have a kid. Tom said he's pretty sure that he's the dad. He said Dax Shepard did offer to come over and do this for them and give them his sperm. Tom said that's the nicest thing that anyone has said to him. He said he wanted to try it one more time himself though.
Howard said maybe in a weird way that motivated him to get it done. Tom said they had also met with an adoption agency the week before. Howard said the Dax thing is kind of strange. Tom said he's very thoughtful and he had to run it by his wife. He said he's very close with Dax and Kristin. He said their kids were born 10 days apart. Tom said Lincoln is so smart. That's Dax and Kristin's kid. He said the kid is really smart compared to his son. He said that he's concerned with his kid and he had a meltdown for a whole day.
Howard said Kristin has said that Tom's son is cutter than their son. Tom said their kid is very cute too. Howard said that he named his kid Jax after the guy on son's of Anarchy. Tom said his dad's name was Jack and he wanted to honor him too. He said that came up because they do love that show. Tom was actually on Son's of Anarchy. Tom said he got to know Curt Sutter and he put him on the show. He said he would tell Curt that there was no way Jax could beat him up in real life.
Howard said Tom reminds him of Eric the Actor who won't play a gay guy. Tom said that Eric thing was pretty brilliant. He said that everything was true. He said he's been there with the competition and the sadness and all of that.
Howard asked if he got to know the guys on Sons of Anarchy. Tom said he knew some of them already. Howard said he feels bad about Charlie Hunnam because he was going to be in 50 Shades of Grey and he just backed out of it. Tom said he thinks he should have done it. He said he felt pressured over the whole thing and he had to back out.
Howard said Tom and his wife shared the same OB/GYN with Dax and Kristin. Tom said that the doctor was very hot. He said they found out that Jason Duhamel was going there too so they were afraid that she liked him more than them. Tom said she's a great gynecologist too. Tom said that he doesn't want to upset the doctor. He said his wife got upset that they were taking shots of her ass. Tom said she's very smartly put together.
Howard said he understands that Tom is still seeing the gynecologist even though his wife is not. Tom got a laugh out of that. Tom said that she was the one who did the circumcision on the boy and he wanted to save pictures of him for future reference.
Howard said Tom has lost 50 pounds and he's doing it for a health thing. Tom said he eats normal sized food and he doesn't have to do anything too crazy. Howard said that's what people don't understand. He said if you just cut back on how much you eat then you can lose weight. Howard said he just eats a normal breakfast and has just one portion at dinner. Tom said he used to eat two plates but now he has just one. He said bread is the other thing. He said he loved bread but if you limit that it helps.
Howard said he heard a story about Tom and rehab. Howard said he heard he got mad in an email chain and called someone a fag. Elton John and his partner were in the email chain and they were going to kick his ass. Tom kept saying yes to all of this. Tom told Howard he made a movie called Gardens of the Night and he worked with this actor. He said he was in rehab and he was on medication for surgeries he had in 2011. Tom said he was on these medications and he was contacted about going to a party. He said he was joking around with this kid he acted with and sent him ''Fag'' in big letters. He said he must have hit ''reply all'' and then Elton's partner David Furnish threatened to beat him up. He said he had to go to rehab after that. He said that he actually saved his life by doing that. Tom said he wrote a letter saying that someone apparently wrote ''fag'' from his account and that was such a dirty lie. He said he went to UCLA and went to detox after that. He said Elton John is super powerful and he didn't want to get into it with him.
Robin asked Tom about being on a Illeostomy and getting a MRSA infection. Tom said that things were a mess. He said that things are doing okay now though.
Howard asked Tom if he brought his son to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger. Tom said Arnold loves the kid. He said that he was at the hospital the first day. He said one day his son was crying in the crib and he wanted to take it in. He said he saw he was frustrated. Then he heard someone say ''Pick him up.'' He said his wife was watching him with the kid in the house and she saw him on the baby monitor. Tom said that he was very nervous about the whole thing at first. He said his wife calmed him down. Then two weeks ago she went away for the weekend. He said he went over to visit Arnold. He said a bunch of body builders were over at his house that day. Tom said that they all wear speedo underwear. He said that's just what they do.
Howard asked if it's almost naked guys. Tom said they're all out there pumping iron in their underpants. Howard said that's a weird scene. Tom said Jax loved it. Howard said the kid probably thought it was a bunch of kids in their underwear. Tom said he thinks that Arnold is just living the life. Howard asked if he feels he has to strip down to his underwear too. Tom said he doesn't. He said Arnold just had a hernia operation and he was in pain when he handed the kid over to him. He said he's still filming movies all over the world.
Tom said Arnold loves the kid and he looks like he wants one. Howard asked if he brings up the Maria thing at all. Tom said they had a fund raiser for an after school thing. He said they had a bunch of people pay like $30,000 to play poker in his house. He said that Arnold would introduce him as the guy who ''boned Roseanne.''
Robin asked if he jokes about the maid with Arnold. Tom said he doesn't. Howard said there are rumors that Maria and Arnold might get back together. Tom said Maria is beautiful and she could date a younger guy and get Arnold fired up. He said that's what she should do. Howard said she should do it. Howard said Arnold is such an interesting guy. Tom said that he and Arnold are working on this Muscle Farm product together.
Howard said Tom was in rehab with Lindsay Lohan once. Howard said he heard that she had her own tanning bed. Tom said they have a rehab and then the medical unit. He said he had this wound that was being worked on and Lindsay had her tanning bed at the medical unit. He said this was at a legitimate rehab. Howard said it would seem to him that you'd have to be humble in there and not have a tanning bed. Tom said you have to get people in there and that might be the way they got her there. Howard said Tom has a lot going on around him. He said it's amazing. He said he should write another book. Tom said he should.
Howard said Tom is working on a movie called Jewtopia. Howard said some people are calling it anti-Semitic. Tom said that's because they're not Jewish. Tom told Howard about the people he worked with in the movie and how great they were.
Howard asked Tom if it drove him crazy that his wife was going to psychics and people like that when she was trying to get pregnant. Tom said that this was like her AA so he just went with it. He said he knows it's all bullshit. Tom said that Mike Myers called and told him he was going to send him some green energy and that would help with the pregnancy. He said he wasn't sure if he was still getting it since there was a pause. He said a week later they found out that she was pregnant. Howard asked if everyone in Hollywood is nuts. He said that this guy Mike Myers is such a talent and now he's talking about green energy. Howard asked how long he was on the line with the green energy. Tom said it was probably 6 minutes. He said Mike is totally sincere too. Tom said he pretended he knew what he was talking about. Howard said a lot of Hollywood people think they're healers. Tom said people just want to get laid. He said he has heard that John Travolta has healed people. He said John is a hero of his and he would like to think that he can do that.
Tom said he got the green energy so he was doing nutty things just like his wife was. Howard asked if his son looks like any of the psychics. Tom said he does a little. He said that his son actually looks a lot like him. He said he told his wife that if she had used someone else's sperm she could tell him. She told him that she wouldn't tell him if she had.
Howard asked if Arnold has a lot of pictures of himself in his house. Tom said he has statues and things of himself. Howard asked what it's like to be there with the guys in speedos and all of the statues being there. Tom said it's a very macho house now that Maria is gone. He said he has a polo field that he may watch people play on but he doesn't think Arnold plays. He said he thinks he has a house where all of the dudes live. Howard said he doesn't think he could do that. Tom said he has a beautiful gym there too. He said it's a real personal place for Arnold.
Howard asked if there's a sign that says ''No Girls Allowed'' in the gym. Tom said there are women that come hang out and lay in the sun. He said Arnold is not lonely. Howard said that's what he figured. He said he must have a tremendous sex drive.
Tom told Howard about how busy Arnold has been. He said he just shot The Expendables 3. He said that he's done some other movies too.
Howard asked Tom about his sex life. Tom said that he didn't get to have sex with her for 6 months after the baby. He said that he had his wound at the time so things were a little off. Tom said his wife is so fucking sexy. He said he forgot about that. Tom said she's smoking hot. Howard asked if he jerked off during that time. Tom said he did but not like he used to. Tom said when you don't jerk off for a while you feel bigger. He said that he knows a guy who used to put a dumbbell on his penis to stretch it. He said that ended up rupturing his penis and he had to have it operated on.
Howard said Tom's new movie is called Jewtopia. It's available on On Demand. Robin said Tom has notes and he doesn't remember any of this. Tom said he has to remember what he has to talk about. He mentioned that people like Wendy Malik, Rita Wilson and others are in the movie.
Howard said he liked Tom when he was on that sports show. Tom said they got canceled. He said they have a new network called FOX Sports 1 so maybe he'll get on again. Howard said he loved him on that show.
Tom said you can check out VaginaBeautiful.com and see more about the movie. He said he plays a guy who works on vaginas in the movie so that's where the web site name came from.
Howard asked how things are with him and Roseanne. Tom said that he joked about something about his marriage video being out on the internet and Roseanne got pissed at him not knowing that he was joking. Tom said she eventually figured it out. He said they had a discussion about his son and how cute he is. He said that Roseanne asked him to check out a script that she had for her new sitcom. He said she's returning to TV and he was so glad she offered to send it to him. He said that she hasn't sent it yet though. Howard said maybe Tom will go work on her show. Howard said that would be amazing. Tom said it would. He didn't sound that thrilled about it though.
Howard gave Tom some plugs and said that he possesses green energy that he got from Mike Myers. Howard and Tom spent a little more time talking and Howard said he could do this all day. Tom talked more about this movie Jewtopia and how it's available all over. He was still reading from his notes. Howard asked how many more notes he has. Tom said he has a lot. He didn't have them typed out. Howard told him to get an assistant to do that for him.
Tom said he was out to a baby class with his son and he was looking at a woman who ended up seeing him and pulled her shirt down over her knees. He said that he told his wife about this and realized that he should be looking at his wife like that. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with him.
Howard had Eric the Actor on the phone. Eric wanted to talk to Tom. Eric asked if the Big Redneck Vacation is coming back to CMT. Tom said he's not sure. He said he hopes so and he'd love to have Eric on the show. He said they had Riley Martin on the show. Howard asked Tom if he thinks Eric should play gay parts. Tom said playing a gay character is something you have to do. He said Chuck Zito says he would never do that but it would be great if he did. He said Arnold could win for playing a gay Nazi or something. Tom told Eric to try the hard things even if he's not gay. Eric said he will take it into consideration.
Robin said they have a part for him if he would play gay. Tom said he thought they gave that role to Jeff the Drunk. Howard said it turns out Jeff didn't want to give up his role for the gay part.
Howard said he wishes Tom the best. He said he thinks this Jewtopia is going to be a smash hit. He told him to find out more about his own movie before coming next time. Tom said he did watch the movie but he didn't want to forget anything.
Howard let Eric go and asked Tom if he's still not drinking. Tom said he thinks about it but he hasn't been drinking. Howard said he cut way down. Howard said he drinks Perrier while people are drinking. Tom said when he does something he wants to get fucked up doing it. Howard said David Arquette went back to drinking. Tom said that's fine. He said whatever works for him is fine. Tom said he'll have to tell his son that he could be an alcoholic because his father was. Tom said he'll tell him what he went through and how he handled it. Howard said maybe that's a wise thing.
Tom said his son reached over to their dog the other day and the dog snapped at him. He said his son looked at him like ''What the fuck? You're supposed to protect me.'' He said that's true and he felt really bad that it happened. He said the dog didn't break the skin though. Howard gave Tom more plugs, wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked if he ever played the clip of the baby crying on the plane with Jim McClure. Fred said he did. Howard asked if he played the clip of Riley being harassed by fans. Robin said no. Howard played a clip of a caller asking Riley a question and getting him pissed when he asked a couple of different questions and following it up with ''Sal the Stockbroker fucked you up the ass'' or something like that. Riley would tell the guy he wasn't funny and wished him well.
Howard said he didn't know Riley did live commercials. He went right into a Steven Singer commercial in one clip. Howard said Riley doesn't do well with people harassing him. He said he doesn't have good comebacks. He said he has to work on that.
Howard said JD went on a date with his wife last week and saw Regis that night. Howard said they found out JD is a big fan of Regis' so they created a clip where JD meets Regis. They had JD talking to Regis out at dinner.
Howard said Sal and Richard went out on the street and told people that the letter N has been banned because the N-word was being used too much. Howard played the quick clip and some people agreed that it sound be banned. They had one guy try to say the alphabet without the letter N. He skipped both M and N.
Howard played a Ventura/Stern commercial for the 2016 election. Howard said this is real, not a fake thing like that last clip. Howard asked Robin what she thinks of that. Robin laughed and said that's beautiful. She said that's their first campaign ad. Howard said it would be fun until he realized all the travel he'd have to do. He said he's dropping out already. He went to break a short time later.
Howard said he wanted to congratulate Jimmy Kimmel on his huge ratings. He said he had Kanye West on the show and they had very high ratings. Howard said he watched half of it but hasn't seen the other half. Howard said Kanye looked like a loon. He said he seems to be very angry about nothing. Howard said Jimmy sat back and let the ratings fly. Howard said Kanye comes across as a very angry guy. He said he has clips but he's sure people could find it on the internet. Howard said his voice gets loud and he sounds like he's so angry.
Howard played a clip of Kanye West talking about being a creator and how creators get beat up all their life. Howard said the guy is on fire. Howard said jimmy isn't getting a word in. He said this kid is on a massive role and he can't lighten up. Howard said it was good TV though. He said he's happy that Jimmy is doing well.
Howard said the two women siting in are there because they donated money to Robin's charity the 15 Foundation. Howard spoke to one woman who said they have a web site that they created. One of the women was on the site and the other created it. The site was X-Art.com. One of the women talked about how she used to watch Howard talking about Lesbians and tat's what led to the web site being created.
Howard asked about what kind of material they do on the site and it was sex scenes and lesbian scenes. Howard asked what they paid her to do her scenes. They didn't remember. Howard asked if they can make good money doing that. One of the women said that they have 50,000 visitors and they pay them $20 a month so they make very good money.
Howard said that those are the two winners who got to sit in. The one woman kept plugging and Howard said that she's a one woman plug machine. He said she could have said hello and ''how are you doing.'' She didn't stop plugging and kept asking Howard if he was checking it out. Howard said he's on the air and can't check it out. Fred was playing Grandpa Al Lewis audio clips where he's saying ''Blah, blah, blah...''
Howard asked what her name is. She said it's Colette. She said she doesn't even drink coffee and she's like that. Howard said she's on fire. She won't even let her friend answer a question. Howard said it's Colette and Francesca. Howard said he heard that Francesca has a hot girlfriend. She said that she and Colette are. Howard said he thought Colette was married. She is but she said her husband doesn't care.
Howard asked who the girl in the green room is. Colette said that she's really cute and she's another hot friend. Howard said she can sit in if she stays quiet in there. Howard told the guys to let her sit in.
Howard said this is some situation. Howard said Colette is married and she gets it on with the other girl in her house. The third girl came in and Howard said she's hot too. He found out she's married too but she gets in on the lesbian stuff. She said she does a lot of watching. She said that her husband is cool with it because it's work.
Colette said that she and her friend have sex with their husbands but Francesca isn't married so they have sex with her.
Howard said these girls sound wild. Howard asked if they ever call each other the N-word when they have sex. Colette didn't know what the N-word was. Howard said he didn't know how lively they'd be. He said he would have gotten to them sooner. Howard said he has to do the news. Howard said Colette is still over there talking. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked the girls if they had a hot mom to enter the Mother Daughter contest. Colette said she has one but she doesn't think that she would enter it.
Robin started her news talking about how many people came out to see her at her book signings. She said that it was very nice.
Robin read a story about a man who was stuck in a forest in California for 3 weeks. Robin said he fell and was knocked unconscious and ate lizards, squirrels and frogs to stay alive during his time there. Robin said he drank water from a creek and stayed under a tree. Robin said he became an outdoorsman. Robin said it snowed several times during his 19 days out there. Robin said some other hunters found him and carried him out of the forest.
Robin read a story about a pastor who was accused of soliciting an under cover officer. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about Bruce Jenner and his wife splitting up. Howard said he has some audio of Bruce telling the Paparazzi to go fuck themselves. Howard played that for Robin. Bruce sounded really angry.
Howard said he heard that Jerry O'Connell's show got canceled. Howard said he's not sure where he's going to jerk off now. Howard said he might have to go to that web site the girls are promoting. Robin told Howard to stop and not let them plug.
Robin read about the upcoming Halloween and how kids are being scared by the holiday. Robin said she was never scared by it but they have to prepare kids for the holiday. Robin said she thought it was just fun. Howard said he just remembers walking around in a costume and he had no idea why. He said he wishes they would just ban the whole thing. He said the whole holiday is disgusting. Robin had some audio of someone talking about what parents should tell their kids about the holiday. Robin said you can reassure your kids that they're safe by acting calm yourself. Howard said people insist on dressing up like ghosts because they're idiots.
Howard said Hanzi must love Halloween because he's a weirdo. Howard picked up on him and said that Hanzi is a weirdo. He said he leaves Gary messages on his voice mail and it's so not interesting. Howard said he has to get a life. Hanzi said Howard wants him to call his fucking show. Howard said he just feels bad for him. He said he doesn't care what he does. Howard played some of the voice mail he has left for Gary. Hanzi said he thinks he's the best thing about the show and the most truthful thing about the show. Howard said he sounds so creepy in that voice he puts on. Howard said he thinks he's radio gold. Hanzi said they worked this out over the weekend. Howard said this is good therapy for him. He played more of his audio and Hanzi was talking about how out there he is and how nuts he is. Hanzi said he knows at the end of the day this is the best thing he's ever going to hear.
Howard told Hanzi he has to get a life. Hanzi asked if he can talk. Howard said he talks too much. Hanzi said Howard should adjust his wig and let him talk for a second. Howard asked what he's talking about. He said Hanzi is so stupid. Howard said he has real hair. Hanzi laughed and said no way. Howard told Hanzi to go ahead.
Gary said he left 8 calls that clocked in at just under a minute each. Hanzi said that Howard is playing this stuff out of context. Hanzi said he just dropped his joint. Howard said he has to lay off the weed.
Howard said he has a Hanzi fact that will blow Robin's mind. Howard asked how many times he's tweeted. Robin said it has to be over 20. Howard said he's tweeted over 64,000 times. Howard said he has verbal diarrhea and twitter diarrhea. Howard said he has to read his tweets. Hanzi said they're nuts. He said it's because Howard sends trolls after him. Howard said Hanzi needs a better doctor so he can get on better meds.
Hanzi said that Howard portrays people as a joke an when they contribute something they look like a joke and Howard makes it that way. Howard played more of Hanzi's voice mails and Hanzi was going on and on about people not conforming and how they make them look crazy.
Howard said he'd like to know what Hanzi can do. Hanzi was talking about how he doesn't shower. Howard told Hanzi that he has to say no to weed and say yes to the medication. Hanzi asked if he's going to fuck those girls in the studio later. Howard said he will, sure. Howard said you have to see these girls. Hanzi asked if he can fuck them. Howard said no way. He said he has to wash and make some money. Hanzi said people make money off of him. Howard said no one is making money off of him. Hanzi said Howard has.
Howard told Hanzi to listen to his parents and get on his medication. Hanzi was rambling so Howard cut him off and hung up on him.
Howard said he has to take some pictures of the girls in the studio. He said people have to see how hot they are. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about people who dread Monday mornings. Howard said he does because he has to take calls from Hanzi. Robin said there are people who get the Sunday night blues when they realize their weekend has come to an end. Howard said he goes into such a funk. He said he has hated school and hated work so much that he goes into this funk. Howard said on Sunday night he's such a wreck. He said he wants to roll into a ball and hide. Robin said he's among the 47 percent. Robin said 22 percent are happy to go back to work. Howard said he dreads Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as well. Robin said the people with the most dread are people in the United States. They say that 59 percent of people here dread going back to work.
Robin read about this baby that was found dead and in a cooler 22 years ago. Robin said they named her Hope and they found the man who killed her. Robin said they found out it was her cousin. Robin said they never gave up trying to find the guy. Robin said they found the mother of the baby and then found the family member who killed the baby. Howard said he spilled his guts. Robin said they say his sister helped to hide the baby. The guy meant to just rape the baby and when it screamed he covered the baby's face with a pillow and smothered it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he'd be more upset if Beth left him for a guy or a woman. Howard said he'd be upset if it was a guy. Howard said he doesn't get why women would want to be with a man.
The caller asked if Howard uses Polident on his new dentures. Howard said he doesn't have dentures. He said he doesn't wear a wig either. Howard said he has veneers but not dentures. Howard said dentures are when you don't have your own teeth. He said you have to find something real if you want to bash him. He said his regular teeth look like shit. He said his mother didn't let him get braces so his teeth were all messed up. Colette asked if they could have afforded it. Howard said they could have afforded the braces.
Robin read a story about breast cancer awareness month and had some audio of someone talking about that. Colette said she's never been scanned. Robin said she should go. Robin said they say the best time to go is 3-5 days after your cycle. Howard said maybe they can have JD check them for breast cancer. Colette said he may not be qualified. JD said he went to John Hopkins University. Howard said maybe he went there for lunch. He told him to get out of there.
Howard said he has to go for his yearly exam this week. He said it's painful. He said it's not just uncomfortable like Beth thinks. He said the doctor touches your prostate. He said it hurts when they do that.
Robin read about the government shutdown and how we're heading to defaulting on our loans and this could cause some major problems. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that.
Robin read about a woman who hid her HIV status from her husband for three years. She's now under arrest. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read about Gabrielle Giffords and her husband going to an arms fair and speaking there. Robin said they were there working on gun control.
Robin read about a cyclone that hit India. Robin said they're working on helping people over there. Robin said it destroyed many coastal homes. Robin read a story about another disaster in India where 89 people were killed on a Bridge.
Robin read about Dan Aykroyd storming off a show in Australia when they didn't allow him to promote his vodka. Howard said he should come on this show and promote it. He said he's been trying to get him on the show forever. Robin said he claims he was assured that he would be allowed to promote his product but they did not allow it when he got there. Howard said the girls who are there were plugging so much that he had to shut them down. They said they were just excited to be there.
Robin read about the Columbus day parade that's going on today. Howard said he's been reading so much stuff about Columbus and what a scum bag he was. Howard said he read he was killing American Indians and how ruthless he was. Howard said he had enslaved people and was letting guys fuck all of these girls and stuff. Fred said he would send people off to get gold and if they showed up with too little he'd chop off their hands and other things. Howard said Columbus would slaughter these Indians because they had advanced weapons. Howard said it wasn't just him but everyone. Fred said he was just doing what everyone else was doing back then.
Howard said there was a guy who came over like Columbus and he tried to get everyone to stop killing the Indians. One of the girls in the studio said he was French. Howard said she's right about that. She didn't remember his name though. Howard was reminded it was Bartolome de Las Casas.
Robin had some audio of Katy Perry's performance from Saturday Night Live. Howard said he saw one of her performances and she was lip syncing. Howard said that's not cool. He said she should have come out with a guitar and performed. Howard said they should stick to their guns and not let guests lip sync.
Robin read about Gravity being number 1 at the box office again. Howard said he wants to see that. The girls in the studio said they wanted to see it too. Howard said they should get naked and see it. Robin said Captain Phillips came in at number 2.
Robin said Robin Thicke was on Oprah's show talking about his legal battle with the estate of Marvin Gaye. Robin had some audio of Oprah and Robin talking about that.
Howard wrapped up and let the girls get in some more plugs for their web site. They were started to ramble again so Howard said he can't get into this again. Howard let them plug the site a little more and Colette said Howard may have seen some of the stuff on YouPorn. Colette said Howard wrote something on one of the videos. Howard said that wasn't him. He said he would never write anything on a porn site. He said he's not proud that he watches that stuff. He ended the show a short time later. They were done round 10:30am.
Jon said Kyle and Lucas were sitting in too. He asked Kyle about picking his favorite family member and if it was hard to pick. Kyle said dad was there so that's why he picked him.
Gary said he has to get a copy of the show to hear what happened while they were away. He said last time Lucas got him into trouble. He said last time Lucas told Howard that he forced him to play football. He didn't but he got into trouble over that.
Jon said the one answer that was controversial was the one about what the kids last got in trouble for. Scott's son said he didn't get into trouble. Benjy said he thinks that he should have gotten that one.
Gary said he's had the conversation with Lucas about what he wants to be when he grows up and both answers should have been allowed. Lucas wondered if Gary was upset about the farting answer. Gary told him to be quiet or he'll tell everyone about his farting.
Jon asked Scott if he was happy about how he finished today. Scott said he thinks that he plays with his kids more than Gary plays with his. Benjy laughed. Gary asked what the basis of that statement is. Scott said he plays Halo with his kids a lot. Gary said that he probably did the same thing when his kids were that age. He said he coaches his kid's games and things like that. Scott does that too. He said he spends a lot of time with his kids and he loves them. He said he had two boys and they happen to like cool things.
Jon asked Kyle if there's something that he likes to do that his dad doesn't like to do but he'll do it. Kyle said he likes going to the pool but his dad doesn't like that so much. He said he'd rather go play golf. Scott said he likes to have his own time.
Jon asked Scott if it's more important to him to be a better dad or just to be better than Gary. Scott said there are people there who think that they're better than him and he's very competitive.
Gary and Scott were talking about bowling and Scott said he thinks he could beat Gary. Gary said he played a lot. Lucas asked them to please tell him that they're not going to do a father/son bowl off.
Gary said he went to the driving range the other day and this grandfather brought his grandkids there to play and the 5 year old kid was laying down screaming that she didn't want to be there. He said half of his day was ruined by that.
Jon asked Scott if he felt vindicated today. Gary said he thought that they were going to make it into more than what it was today. He thought they were going to give scenarios and find out what the kid would do. Scott said he played one out with his son last night asking about finding money and trying to find the person who lost it.
Scott said they got into the parenting thing about the chips discussion. He said he found it odd that so many people thought he should have opened the other bag. He said he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Gary said there might be bigger battles he might want to choose to fight.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that you can tell with Scott that he seems a little more restrictive on what his kids might see. He said that Gary seems more open to letting his kids watch things on TV. The caller said if you have to tell people that you're a better father then you're probably not. Scott said that's what Gary does. Gary said he never did that. Howard was the one who said he was a good father.
Gary said he and Scott are probably both good fathers. He said he's seen people do some crazy things with their kids. Scott said he saw a dad smoking in front of the kids and using the F-word every few seconds. He said he wanted to go up to the guy and tell him he was a bad influence. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Gary said he has to ask his son not to talk like that in front of his mother. Lucas said an occasional F-bomb may come out in front of his mom. Gary said he has to let him know to tone it down. Lucas said he doesn't talk like that at home.
Jon took a call from Ralph who said that he thinks this was a complete tie. He said the one question wasn't a direct question and he thinks it was more of a tie. Gary said he hasn't heard the whole thing so he can't comment until tomorrow.
Ralph said that he also thinks that he's crazy for what he said about Apple computers. Ralph said his computer never has to be fixed and Scott's has to be fixed all the time. Scott said he's never gone to a guy to fix his computer. He said if he has an Apple he has to bring it to a ''Genius'' to fix it. Benjy said the great thing about Apple is that you can bring it to a store where they have people who know how to fix them. Scott said that you have to do things their way and that's it.
Gary said people complain about it being a rip off but Ralph made a good point that you can buyout you want and if something is better then why not pay more for it? Ralph said it's a better OS. Ralph told Scott he's being ridiculous with the whole thing. Scott said he's using a dumbed down product. Scott said they were trying to do editing on a Mac and they couldn't do half the stuff they wanted to. He said he was trying to do a split edit and he wasn't able to do it on the Mac.
Scott said he couldn't use an Apple if he wanted to for work there. Gary said almost everyone in the entertainment world uses Apple. Scott said that's just not true. He said you use Avid if you're a professional.
Jon asked Kyle if his dad gets into a lot of arguments. Kyle said no. Jon told Scott to stop shaking his head. Scott said the only time he gets into arguments is on the golf course. Gary asked if he's stayed calm in his coaching. Scott said one guy did call him an asshole but the guy got kicked out for doing that. Scott said the guy had 10 kids on the field and he called him out on that. He said the coach said he wanted to get them all into the game and he told him he was wrong, it's 9. Scott said the guy called him an asshole. Scott said he ended up beating the other team by about 15 points. He said two weeks later the guy was out of coaching. He said he told one coach he ran that score up because the other guy was an asshole.
Jon said one problem they had tody was Kyle's microphone. Scott the Engineer was trying to fix it from his end. Gary said he heard it as if the mic wasn't on at all. He said he figured a battery of people would be working on it if it wasn't on. He said Scott came in and said he was working on it and he was eating at the time. Jon said that's not the right time to be eating. Gary said he went in around 9 and shut the door and asked Scott what happened. He said Scott told him what happened and he still has no idea what was going on. Jon said you just have to fix it and move on. Gary said he needs to know what happened but he still doesn't know.
Jon said Lucas said that he's never seen anyone so lazy. Jon asked Lucas if anyone there struck him as being different. Lucas said everyone seems pretty normal. He said he's never met Scott before and he's just judging him on that one thing. Jon asked if he was talking to JD about music or something. Lucas said he was. They were talking about the Chemical Brothers and other bands.
Jon asked Kyle what he's planning on doing with his $250. Kyle said he might buy a Microsoft Surface. Scott cheered him and said that's a great choice. Scott said he has one himself. Gary thought Kyle was going to be the only one on his street that has one but Scott had one already. They spent a minute talking about that and then went to break.
Benjy said that Jon believes in luck and that's magic. He asked Gary if he believes in god at all. Gary said sure but luck is something when things just fall one way or another. Scott said that's the opposite of luck. Benjy said if you get down to what started the universe then it's kind of freaky. He said even in advanced physics they say that magic happens.
Gary said there are people who think they saw Elvis after he died. He said he bought a book about it and it turned out to be really good. He said the guy was able to attribute everything to something in the people's lives that made them want to see these things. Gary said he thinks it's your mind that lets you have those things happen.
Gary asked if any of the guys in the studio have had ghost sightings at all. Lucas spoke up and said that Kreskin came to their teen center where he works and he did something. Gary said that's just a trick though. Lucas said he knows that.
Jon said Eric the Midget was on the phone today. He said those tweets are out of control. Gary said you can tweet him anything and he'll fight back about it. He said you can call him an alligator and he'll yell at the person that he's not. Gary said he has to get off of Twitter instead of blaming the show for his medical condition. Jon said they had to wrap up after that. He asked Kyle if he wanted to give a shout out to anyone. Kyle just said ''Nah.'' Lucas said he's DJ Lucas Dell'Abate on Soundcloud. They ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was going to call Robin last night but he got home late from dinner. He said he had no time. He said he doesn't have a free minute in the day. He said he went out with his friend Chris and Mary Pat. He said after that he just went to bed. He said now he's back at work.
Howard said he saw the ratings for The Walking Dead and they were big. He hasn't seen the episode yet. Robin said she did and it was great. Robin guessed there were 12 million viewers. Howard said it was 16 million. Howard said they've set a new record. He said the finale of Breaking Bad got 10.3 million. Robin said that's incredible. Howard said they surpassed any NFL game this season. Robin said they trounce any network TV shows.
Howard said Gary told him about something. He said he hesitates to bring it up because he claims he invented everything and people complain about it. Howard said he came up with the idea for the Wrap Up Show and he thought it would be interesting to hear how Gary got a guest or something that happened behind the scenes or heard on the show. Howard said Gary told him that they have a Walking Dead Wrap Up Show and a Breaking Bad wrap up show. Howard said Andy Cohen stated a show like that for the Beverly Hills housewives. Howard said he thinks he can take credit for wrapping up a show. Howard said if he had any brains he would have gone to every show and produced the wrap up shows for them. Howard said he could have a Simon Cowell-like empire if he did that. He said he's influenced just about everything but no one will recognize it. Robin said she does. Fred said no one was doing it in that format or in that style.
Howard took a call from Pete in Pittsburgh who said that today is a great day because Howard finally gets to talk to Avril Lavigne. Howard said she's going to come in and perform a few songs. Her husband is coming in too. The caller said no one cares about her husband Chad Kroeger either. He said he's going to ruin her career. Howard said he doesn't get why people have such a backlash against him and his band. Howard said he knows people have it. Pete said he sings the same way in every song. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he's had a bunch of hit songs.
Pete said Avril is his dream girl. Howard said she doesn't show off her body but she claims she has one. Pete said that she's only coming in because her husband convinced her to. Gary said that's not true. Pete said Chad still looks like a douche bag even though he changed his look.
Howard said he's seen this throughout his life with guys like Chad. Gary said he's not sure if he sucks so bad then why did he sell 30 million records. Howard said Grand Funk Railroad was another band like that. Howard said now it's cool to like them but back in the day it wasn't cool. He said people went berserk and it wasn't explainable. Howard said there was this viciousness about it.
Gary said he remembers that they sold out Shea Stadium at one point. He said they had a lot of fans. Howard was singing some of their songs.
Howard said when you get a fan letter from someone in your own business like Anthony Hopkins it really does move you. Howard said he had that experience last night. Howard said he got a note from Johnny B or Jonathan Brandmeyer and he told him how he felt about what he's been doing. Robin said she did Anderson Cooper's show and he's a big fan of the show too. Robin said Anderson told her he came late to the show but he really likes the interviews Howard does. Howard said that means a lot too.
Howard said he got a call from Rodney Dangerfield that really felt good too. He said it's never left him and it's just great.
Jon Hein said that in the letter to Cranston there's a list of people that he wanted Bryan to pass the note along to and Gomez was at the end of the list.
Eric said he'd like to finish his thought. He said it was pretty rude for Howard to cut him off yesterday. Howard said it was so boring and he was in the middle of an interview. Eric said that was an hour before. Howard said they had Eric on long enough and he was part of the scene and he started to drone and he had to hang up. Robin said Eric needs editing. Howard said he has to keep the show interesting. Howard said he has to cut him off at times and he hopes he understands this. He said if he was doing this off the air he'd let him drone but on the radio he has to keep things moving.
Eric said he wants to talk about Johnny Fratto starting a Kickstarter account to cover him and Jeff the Drunk. Howard said he has to cut him off again. Howard said he obviously made a mistake the first time he cut him off.
Howard said he can't wait for Hanzi to call in. He said he has a song parody that he has to play for him. He said it's really good. He said it's magnificent. Howard said it would be great to wait for Hanzi to call in but he wants to share it. He said he actually can't find it. Robin said maybe Hanzi will call in later.
Howard said he loves this song and it's done by Daniel Mendelson. Howard played the song and Daniel is doing his Hanzi impression with the ''No, no, no'' thing in the opera-like song. Howard told Fred he has to play that song when Hanzi gets into that ''No, no, no'' jag. Howard asked Fred to play the clip of Hanzi doing that thing and then told him to play the song.
Howard said he has so many song parodies about Robin. He played one from Matt Evans where he sings about her boobs. Howard had one from Little Mikey called The Sybian Girl. Howard said Mikey is so creative when it comes to Robin. Howard said it's such a great thought.
Howard said he has another Matt Evans song to the tune of a Pink Floyd song. It was ''I Don't Need No Vegucation.''
Howard said that someone has to take these songs and turn them into cartoons. He said that would be great. Howard said he has a Mark the Bagger song parody to the tune of ''Don't Stop Believing.'' Howard played that one and said that kid is pretty good. Howard said there's something great about him.
Howard said he has one from Eli Braden called ''Hard and Veiny.'' Howard said that's fabulous. Howard said he has another one from Psych that was to the tune of ''Maybe I'm Amazed.'' Howard said he thinks he performs all of the instruments on those songs. Howard had another song to the tune of a Black Crows song. Howard said he goes through about 50 a day. He said he only takes the best of the best and throws the others away. He said they're unbelievable. Howard said he thinks that's why Robin didn't die from cancer. He said there are too many songs to sing about her. Howard said at her funeral he would have had these guys singing all of these songs.
Howard asked Robin if she can imagine her funeral. Howard said they'd have guys coming over and singing these songs as they were throwing dirt on her casket. Howard played a couple of Little Mikey, Tony Daniels, Psych and other songs. Howard said this is some funeral. Howard said he knows Robin would be smiling down on him.
Howard kept playing song parody after song parody about Robin. Howard said one was like the William Shatner version of ''Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds.'' Howard said Shatner is actually coming in today. He said he's going to have a bunch of plugs today. He said he wishes he'd come in when George is there. He said that would be so great. He said the fireworks would be huge.
JD came in and said that Robin is following someone named BonerHead and HornyMiddleSchoolTeacher. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on there. Robin said no one has access to her account. Howard said Robin may not even know how to get into her account. Robin thanked JD for nothing. Fred played a song parody for JD that was to the tune of Spoon Man.
Howard said he got some email about Sal's spiritual encounter. Howard said it's funny how the guy who is the most perverted is the one who is having spiritual encounters. Howard said he likes to see women peed and spit on and he has spiritual encounters. Howard said Sal found the most disgusting audio clip of a woman gargling with a guy's pee. Howard said this is just too much for him. He played the clip and said that's as far as he gets. He got as far as the girl making the gargling sound and cut it off.
Howard said Sal thinks his bed lifted off the floor and came within 5 inches of the ceiling. Howard said the Long Island Medium's book is on the best seller list. Howard said he was thinking about her. He said she was talking about how this book thing was making her freak out. Howard said if you could talk to dead people why would you freak out about anything.
Howard said William Shatner has the greatest audio book ever. He played a clip that Richard edited together using clips from Shatner's audio book.
Howard said Jerry Sandusky's son was arrested for DUI. Howard said he should be the one guy allowed to drink and drive with a father like he has.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the reason Sal's nose is 5 inches from the ceiling is because he's a liar. He said he has to be lying about that encounter. Howard said Sal got a call from Riley Martin who thinks that he had that encounter. Howard played the audio of Riley talking to Sal. Riley said he thinks that it did happen to Sal because it happened to his girlfriend. Howard said this is a guy who sees space ships. In the clip Riley was telling Sal what he thinks this could be. Howard said he has to send them some green energy.
Howard said the discussions they have with Sal about his make up regimen is amazing. He said it's more involved than any woman.
Howard played a song parody about Sal's Raccoon Boy comments. That was done by Richard. Howard said he has to take a break so he can get to Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he's excited. He said he's been trying to get Avril Lavigne in there for years. Howard said that her husband Chad is there. He pronounced his name correctly and Chad thanked him for that. Howard said they were doing a sound check before they came back.
Howard said there's nothing more romantic than being musicians together. Howard asked Avril if she could be married to a guy who isn't in the business. Avril said it's nice because it's inspiring. She said that they sing around the house. Howard said they were singing ''Let ME Go'' together and Avril said that it was the first song they wrote together. Avril told Howard they met at an award show. Howard said that's how Russell Brand met Katy Perry. Robin said hopefully things work out better for them.
Avril told Howard about her manager asking if she wanted to work with Chad and she thought it would be cool. She said that he was in a band and all of that so it would be fun. Howard said you're bound to fall in love doing that. Avril said that she had a feeling that would happen. Chad said he won't let her go do a movie. Howard said he was in love with everyone on the set of his movie. He said everyone is catering to you and it can ruin a marriage.
Howard asked Avril and Chad going into the studio to write together. He asked how long it took to write this song. Avril said they wrote that one on the first day. She said they stated dating down the road and now it's kind of strange for them to perform this song. She said it's sort of a break up song but they put a twist on it in the end.
Howard asked Chad if it was a big decision to marry her. Chad said he never had the intention of getting married but then he met her and it was a no brainer. Avril said she was kind of numb being single for the first time. She was going to move to France. Chad said he ruined that.
Howard said he was pissed that she was dating that Jenner kid. Howard said he got everything handed to him in life and then he had her. Howard asked if she was angry about that too. Howard said he shouldn't have gotten her. Avril and Chad just laughed at that.
Howard asked how long it took to write this song. Avril said it took a day. She said that they went in and just wrote music and created. She said it was amazing. She said it was a week long of writing and playing music. She said she had just sold her house and it was great to work with L.A. Reid again. She said Reid found her at the age of 15. She said that she started singing at 7 and she was in theater. Avril said she wanted to be up on stage acting and singing. She said she came to New York at 15. Howard asked her where she was performing at 7. Avril said she was doing that at church. Avril said that her mom pushed to get her to sing in church. Avril said she remembers walking off stage and everyone in the church telling her that she was an ''old soul'' and she had no idea what that meant. She said she just wanted to sing. Howard said it's weird to be that young and knowing what you want to do. Howard asked if her mom pushed her into that career. Avril said she didn't. She just helped get her up there on stage. Avril said it was awesome being on stage the first time. Howard asked if she's really religious now. She said she's spiritual but not really religious.
Howard asked if that's why she doesn't get naked and half undressed in her videos. Chad said he's trying to push her in that direction. Avril said when she came out on the scene at 17 L.A. Reid told her to just keep doing her thing. She said that they wanted to put her into things on magazine covers but she didn't want to. She said she just wanted to do her thing. Howard said she has a good body and she's talked about it but she doesn't feel she has to show it off. Chad said she has a great body.
Howard asked how she ended up in L.A. Reid's office. Avril said she was in New York City at 15 and she was about to make a demo. She said she was in the studio on day 1 and she started writing. She said someone got word to Reid and told him to come hear her. Avril said they told her that he was there to hear her sing and she was blown away even though she didn't know much about who she was. Avril said she sang for him and L.A. told her that it was like sunlight on this bad day he was having. She said he signed her that day. Avril said they took her out to dinner that night and they went to the top of the Twin Towers for dinner. She said that's really memorable for her now.
Howard said that it might warp her mind getting something like that at that age. Avril said she tries to keep a good balance. She said it's hard to do in this industry though. Avril said she goes out on stage and does her thing and then turns it off. She said that she grew up in a small town and she wanted to party as soon as she left home. She said she's never done drugs though.
Howard said Avril dropped out of school. She said she did and she said she was going to do home schooling. She said she never did. Robin asked if she was living on her own at that point. Avril said her brother came out to New York with her. She said she was so scared at that age. Avril said that he's a year and a half older than her. Howard said his parents were up his ass every 2 seconds and she's in New York with her 16 year old brother. Chad said that they were able to turn what her brother was doing for her into school credits.
Avril said her brother took her to the studio every day. She said it was scary. Howard said she must have grown up really fast. Avril said she loves love and she's romantic. Howard said he does too... especially when love looks like you.
Howard asked if she was nervous about doing the album with L.A. Reid. Avril said that she won a contest with a local radio station at 14. She got to go up on stage and sing with Shania Twain. She said it felt so right to her that she had to do it.
Robin asked if she was trained musically at all. Avril said that she had an acoustic guitar and some other instruments and she learned to play on her own. She did take piano lessons but she doesn't remember that very well. Howard said she must be a child prodigy.
Howard asked if Avril wanted to be a country star. Avril said she was performing at fairs and stuff and she would do Dixie Chicks songs and things like that. Avril said when she turned 14 she felt frustrated and she was tired of covering country songs and singing Christmas songs. She said she was growing into herself so she took a break. She said she learned the G chord on her father's guitar and then started writing songs. She said she started writing and developed her own style. Howard said that's amazing she did that at such a young age.
Howard asked Avril about coming up with hit songs and how she came up with Complicated. Avril said she was in New York and people were writing songs for her. She didn't like that. Howard said today that's what it seems like is happening with the big songs. Howard said Katy Perry is almost a machine at this point. Avril said she wanted to write her own music so they sent her to L.A. to write. She said she spent a year making that first record and she wrote the songs pretty quickly. She said ''Complicated'' happened in like a day. She said that anything that's been successful has been pretty quick for her. Avril said she got together with some people who wrote the songs with her. She said that they wrote a lot of songs together. Howard asked her to do a little bit of Complicated for them. Avril went right into the song.
Howard said she's so talented. Howard asked how they figure out who is going to pay for what. Chad said that's kind of funny. Avril said they split everything around the house. She said it's nice. Chad said they both pay out of the same thing and it's a 50/50 split. Howard said he would imagine that would be complicated. Avril said it's actually very nice.
Avril said Chad is a great lyricist. She said he's always coming up with something. Howard said he'd like to come and hang out with them and write a few songs. Chad said he should. Howard said he will write some lyrics about having a small penis and masturbation.
Howard said that song was Avril's first hit. Avril said that it did go to number one. Howard said he thought it debuted at number 2 and went to number 1 but he's not sure. Chad said Nickelback had a hit song at the same time. He said they had a bunch of record that they broke. Howard asked if they wrote ''How You Remind Me'' quickly. Chad said that one was written in about 15 minutes. Howard played some of the song. Howard said Chad feels that's like his ''Hotel California.'' Chad said that was in an old interview. He said that he's written a bunch of others since then.
Howard asked if you feel you have to write every song in 15 minutes when you have a hit like that. Chad said you can start thinking like that.
Howard asked Avril about writing ''Sk8er Boi'' and how quickly that one came. Avril told Howard about how they wrote that one. Howard asked her to perform some of that song next. Avril went into that song and did a little bit of it for Howard.
Howard said he can tell Chad is totally turned on. He said it's like he gloating. Chad said he's glowing actually. Howard said the record company must have thought they had a gold mind on their hands. Avril said that they called her at the house and said to her that this was going to be really big. Avril said she was surprised.
Howard asked Avril about drinking and how early she got started. Avril said she got started pretty early on when she was in high school. She said she never did drugs though. She said she started hanging out with the skater boys and that's what she was interested in. She said that school wasn't for her. Avril said she wanted to learn music but she hated class. She said that she didn't have the patience for that.
Howard asked Avril to give him a little bit of ''I'm With You.'' She gave Howard a little bit of that song.
Howard said he loves that. He said when she hits that chorus it gives you chills. Howard asked how she knows how to arrange a song. He asked if it takes like 50 tries. Avril said she remembers with that song she had to practice it a bunch. She said she went back and tried it again and she had to get into that head space with the lights turned down. Howard asked if she gets depressed when she sings it. She said it's actually her favorite song to sing on stage. She said she plays a lot of fast pop rock songs and then this one.
Howard asked if it's about depression. Avril said that it's about trying to figure it all out and it's not depressing. She said it's just part of life an trying to figure things out. She said she feels good when she sings it. Howard asked if she won a Grammy for that. She said she didn't win but she's been nominated. Howard asked if she cares that she hasn't won. Avril said she can't say it doesn't matter. She said she has a lot of other awards but no Grammy. Avril said she needs a Grammy. Howard said they still are the pinnacle. Avril said when you get nominated you get a big plaque with a mini Grammy in it but it's not the same. She said she and Chad have the same plaque because they were both nominated the same year.
Howard said it must be nice to have awards like that. Avril said it is nice. She said that Norah Jones got the Grammy that year. She said her first album was nominated for 5 Grammys and she didn't win. Howard said sometimes that can be a jinx and you never year from the artist again.
Howard said the song ''Breakaway'' was given to Kelly Clarkson. Howard asked why she did that. Avril said she wasn't feeling it so she was asked if Kelly could have it. Howard asked who handles that. Avril said that it was all handled by management. Avril said she actually won an award for that song. Howard asked if she could do the song. Avril said she's never done it. Howard asked her if she could do it now. She said she doesn't know the song. The band didn't know it either. Avril tried it anyway. She started to sing and the band started to play but she didn't know all of the words. Chad said they were just butchering her song.
Howard asked if she hates that she didn't do the song herself. Avril said when she hears the song it actually makes her very proud. Howard said he likes hearing Prince doing the Sinead O'Connor song that he wrote for her. Howard said that was ''Noting Compares to You.'' Avril said that's a great idea and she may start doing that.
Howard said the new album (''Avril Lavigne'') is out. Avril said it's actually coming out on November 5th. She said that it's self titled. Avril said she's trying with new styles and sounds. She said she did a rock song with Marilyn Manson. Howard asked how it was working with him. Avril said it was awesome.
Howard asked how they've been married. Chad said it's 90 days. Howard asked how they kept he marriage so quiet. Chad said she could work for the CIA. Avril said everyone had to sign NDAs. Howard said that must have been fun. Avril said they wanted to be sure they kept it on the DL. Avril said it was a very special day for them and they wanted to keep it quiet. Howard asked what she wore. Avril said she wore a black dress in a castle in France. She said they partied until 6am and had fireworks and stuff. Howard asked if Chad wore a tux. Chad said he had a black suit on. He said he looked very dapper. Howard asked if the band had to sign the NDA. Chad said they didn't.
Howard asked if they're going to have kids. Robin said that they've only been married 90 days. Howard asked if she's pregnant now. Avril said she is not. Howard said she could be pregnant for the first day. You never know.
Chad said they were saying she was pregnant a year ago. Avril said she has a beer belly and they have to get over that. She said they take pictures of her and edit them to make it look like she's pregnant.
Howard asked if she wore a special outfit on her wedding night. Avril said that she had a very special outfit on for their Canadian Thanksgiving. Chad said she had pumps on. Avril said she was looking slutty and fabulous. Howard asked how she was dressed. She had high heels on and a see through outfit on. Howard asked if they bang in the kitchen. Avril said they banged twice... actually three times. Howard said this is an amazing amount of sex.
Howard said he heard that Chad blew himself when he was in high school. Chad told him not to believe everything he reads. Howard said he heard he has a very big penis. Avril said it's the biggest she's been with. Howard asked how many inches it is. Avril said she doesn't know. She said that she's never measured it. Chad said they have 5 hours after they leave there so they'll measure away.
Howard asked about this new song they wrote together called ''Let Me Go.'' He asked what it's about. Avril said that it's about letting go of your past. She said it's the journey of life. She said toward the end of the song they put a twist on it so they're together in the song and they sing about ''Don't Let Me Go.'' Howard said they got married pretty quick. Avril said Chad's mother was really good about it and her family really liked him right away.
Howard asked if Chad proposed nude. Avril said it wasn't nude but it was in the studio. Howard said if he was Chad he would propose while giving himself oral. Chad said she'd be constantly saying ''what?'' if he did that.
Howard asked if they will ever bring another woman into the relationship. Chad said before they got married they had a discussion. Avril said that he said it would be bad for the relationship. She said she wanted to marry him as soon as she heard that. Avril said she thinks it would be problematic. Chad said maybe in 30 years they can readdress that. He said for now they've got this. Howard said he could lose her to the other woman too. Chad said they did think about that as well.
Howard had Chad and Avril perform their song ''Let Me Go'' next. They performed the whole song. After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said Chad has to marry her. Then he realized he had. Avril said that's the first time they've performed that together.
Howard said he thinks it's the best when they can sing like that live. Howard said he hates when people lip sync. Howard said it doesn't feel fair. Avril said she gets jealous when she sees someone dancing around and not really singing.
Howard asked if they have to do a lot of vocal warm ups and stuff. Avril said she does. Howard said James from Metallica has to do a lot of warm ups. He said he does just about a whole concert to warm up. Howard started to wrap up and gave the band some shout outs before going to break.
Howard came back and said that William Shatner is there. He said he's the true captain of the Enterprise. Howard said that he's always a delight to see. Howard said the guy loves show business and never wants to retire. Howard said he wonders who the hot blonde is with him.
Howard asked Bill if he'll ever stop working. Bill said he doesn't think so. Howard asked if he's a photographer like he is. Bill said he is. Howard said he thinks that he could keep himself busy when he retires.
Bill said hi to Robin and said he heard she's cured. Bill said that her mentality and her body did it... and Howard did it. Howard said a lot of vegetables did it.
Howard asked Bill how he's doing. Bill coughed. Howard said he sounds great. Howard said he is the true captain of the Enterprise. Bill said he is.
Howard asked him to clear something up for him. He said he's going way back now. Howard said Bill went on this web site Reddit.com and was surprised at all of the racist comments on there. Bill said there is a love hate relationship with the internet and the technology we use today. Bill said kids haven't learned that there is a responsibility for what you say. He said that people may be hurt by your words and they don't realize that on the internet.
Howard said Bill had the first interracial kiss on TV. Bill said that's what they say but he's not sure about that. Howard said originally that was a scene between Nimoy's character and Bill fought for the scene for his character. Bill said he didn't know that. Howard said Bill thought that's what the captain should be doing and he got it re-written. Bill said that's what George seems to think happened. Howard said he can see it happening that way. Bill said maybe he was kissing Nichele when Leonard wasn't there. Howard said maybe he was kissing Leonard for all he knows. Howard asked how he's doing. Bill said he loves Leonard. He said he's a great guy. Howard asked if he's still in touch. Bill said that Howard will not talk to Robin once this show is done. He said that's the way things go in show business.
Howard asked Bill about going to the airport and having his pants fall off. Bill said Howard doesn't fly as much as he does. He said he gets on a plane 2 or 3 times a week sometimes. He said his wife comes with him at times but not this week. He said he's alone and tired this week. Bill said they fondle you at the airport now. Howard asked if they do that because he's Bill Shatner. Bill said the guy is brushing down his waist and he's hoping he'll say he's in good shape. He said his pants just fell down as they were checking his pants. He said everything was exposed. Howard asked if his cock and balls were showing. Bill said they weren't. He said he had underwear on. He joked that he had a boner and a thong on.
Howard asked if this happens a lot when he gets frisked. Bill said he has metal in his hip so he sets off the alarm. He said he rides a lot of horses and now he's back to jumping 6 feet.
Howard said Bill has a new album out. He said he wishes before he dies that he finds out if this is a goof or real music. Bill said it's real. He said he understands his confusion. Bill said that Sir Paul McCartney and he sang Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds in a club in California. Bill said they did that with Tom Hanks too. Bill said they do a Shakespeare reading every year and they ask a music performer to do some stuff. This year it was Paul McCartney. He said Paul did 15 minutes of songs up there. Howard asked if he gets nervous performing. Bill said the nervous thing comes from remembering the words. He said that's the place that the anxiety comes from.
Bill said he's going on tour with his new album. Howard said he performed with some of the guys from the band Yes. Bill said he wrote the words and Billy Sherwood wrote the music. He said it's a marvelous album. He said it's called ''Ponder The Mystery.'' Howard said this is his 5th album too. Howard said that's unbelievable.
Howard asked Bill how long it takes him to memorize a script. He said it was a torture to memorize his movie script. Bill said that James Spader has a photographic memory so he can remember a script. Howard asked if he's watching his new TV show. Bill said he's not. Howard said he should watch it. He said the show is fantastic. Bill said he's there to talk about ''Ponder The Mystery'' though so he's going to stop talking about James.
Howard said he sensed that Bill was upset with JJ Abrams new Star Trek movie. Bill said that he wasn't upset at all. He said they put Leonard in the movie and even going back in time he's old. Howard said Bill did say JJ is a great actor but he thinks he got piggish by taking Star Wars. Bill said he's such a great director that they grabbed him to do Star Wars. Howard said he's excited to see his take on Star Wars. He said it is similar to Star Trek though. Howard said he's not sure what they're saying there. Bill said maybe a competition would have helped. He said that's what he's saying.
Howard asked Bill about performing with McCartney. Bill said he was floored. Howard asked if he was a big fan of the Beatles. Bill said he wasn't. He said he didn't get ''Hey Jude'' and what that means. Bill said ''Hey Dude'' makes more sense.
Howard asked Bill what era of music he relates to. Bill said he doesn't have one. Howard said Bill seems younger than his age. He said he thinks that he'd kind of vibe with the more modern music. Bill asked why he thinks that. Howard said that's just what he thinks.
Howard said Bill is kind of goofing on rock songs with his own songs. Bill said he's really not. He said it's just about pondering the mystery. Howard said he's going to play a song and listen to what Bill is saying. He said he's going to play the song ''Ponder the Mystery.'' Howard played the song and said he was with him so far. That was about 3 seconds into it. Howard said he was staring into Bill's eyes and didn't know what else to do during the song. Howard said he used to go to listening parties when he was a program director and it was weird to stare at the performers while listening to their albums.
Howard played more of Bill's song and said it's kind of progressive rock. Howard asked how many takes it took to do the song. Bill said he thinks he did one take. Howard said he believes that. Howard asked if it's possible to record a song in less than one take. Bill said he doesn't think so.
Howard said that Bill is going to record a song for them after the interview. Bill said he is going to perform a song that Howard wrote when he was 12. Howard said he's doing ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes.'' Howard said it was about a prostitute. Bill said that's how he'll perform the song.
Howard said George Takei has been coming on the show a lot. Bill asked Howard why he does that to himself. Howard said he loves the guy. He said he has to get them in a room together. Howard said life is too short. Bill said that's what he's been telling him for years. Howard said they go to these Star Trek conventions and Bill gets like $300 for a package from the fans where they get to take pictures and get an autograph. Howard said he thinks George is jealous of that. Bill said he doesn't sell a package. He said the promoters do that.
Howard said that the experience costs about $300 and you get one autograph and entry into Comic-Con for the whole weekend along with a few other things. Howard said Bill may not be in on it but it happens. Howard said his fee must be 5 times as much as George's. Bill said it never enters his mind what George gets. Robin asked him to tell them what he gets. Bill said he gets pennies on the dollar.
Bill told Howard about a guy who says he cured himself with laughter. Howard said he thinks that's all bullshit.
Bill said the video for his song ''Ponder the Mystery'' is up on YouTube now. He said he directed the video and he's in it. Howard asked what his last documentary was. Bill said it was about people who go to these conventions. He said that's confounded him for many years. Bill said he wrote a book called ''Get a Life'' that was about those people. He said he called the documentary the same thing. Howard said he would go see something about that.
Howard said he saw Bill at the Oscars but Bill didn't want to be there. Howard said he did a whole Star Trek thing with Seth MacFarlane. Howard said he thought the whole thing was shit. Bill said he did. He said he's not sure how to say that to Seth though. Bill said he told Seth that he didn't think that it was all he wanted it to be. He said it was rewritten and it was fine.
Howard said he heard that Richard Branson wanted him to go on one of these space flights but he wanted to make him pay $250,000 to do it. Bill said he told him that he'd love to go but it would cost him $250,000.
Howard asked if he's still with Priceline.com. Bill said he is. He said he sold his stock when it was worth pennies and he regrets that. He said the stock is much higher now. Howard said that he told them to pay him in stock early on and he was one of the first people to do that. Howard said he was paid with stock when it was worth 25 cents. Howard said the stock went through the roof and got up to $150.00. Bill said the owner was worth $12 billion at the time. He said the guy was going to build a university with that money. Howard said Bill was locked into the stock for 2 years. He wasn't able to sell it when it was worth so much. Bill said he figured he was going to make movies with that money. Howard said then the stock price went down. Bill said it went below the 25 cents he got it at. Bill said he got rid of the stock at like 10 cents. Bill said all of the dot com stocks were gone. He wanted to get what he could out of it. He said the owner called him and asked for the car they gave him. Bill said he told them that he was keeping the car. He said it was like a beat up Chevrolet or something.
After all of that went on the stock has gone back up to like $1000 according to Bill. Bill said that he may not have the stock now but at least he gets to be on the Howard Stern Show. Howard asked if he'd be worth over a billion. Bill said probably. He said he's not sure what the owner of the company did with his stock. He said a lot of people in the company do have stock. He said they held on to it. Howard said that would drive him insane. He said he doesn't know how Bill lets go of that. Bill said you just do something else. He said you make ''Ponder the Mystery.'' Howard said that does not make up for it. Howard said that wouldn't solve his problem.
Bill asked if Howard got Sirius stock. Howard told him not to get him started with that. He said he has a story about that. Howard said the stock is doing good now. He said it's been years in the making but it's a business now. Bill asked if it's all due to Howard. Howard asked him what he thinks. Bill just laughed.
Howard said there must be a Priceline receptionist somewhere that's worth a billion dollars. Bill said that there probably is.
Howard asked Bill how his sex life is and if it even matters now. Bill said it matters a lot. He said things are good. Howard asked if he has an enlarged prostate. Bill said he doesn't. Howard said he has one and it makes him leak a little bit. He said he has yellow in his underwear. Bill said that's not attractive. Howard asked Bill if he watches porn in the hotel. Bill said he does not.
Howard gave Bill some plugs for his album ''Ponder The Mystery'' and said this has new songs. Howard asked if he's ever won a Grammy. Bill said he has not. He said he's keeping his fingers crossed for this one. Howard said you can also go to WilliamShatner.com for more of Bill's books and albums.
Howard said Bill did some audio books too. Howard played a clip that they edited using Bill's audio book where he talked about his butt being numb from George Takei's monster cock. Howard said he wrote something about Nichele Nichols too. Howard played that clip and he said that she has giant piss flaps. Bill didn't understand that one at first. Howard had to fill him in on what he said. Howard replayed that one and then played one where Bill said Nichele's gaping asshole has an organic odor. That one made Bill crack up.
Howard played a clip where Bill says he butt fucked a 7th grade boy. Bill said they're horrible. Bill was cracking up at the clips. He said they've been laying in wait for him for weeks. Howard played another clip where they had Bill saying that he spent the summer of 1966 drinking the cum from a retarded boy's cock.
Howard told Bill about his Depends pads that he uses in his underwear. He shared that and then played another clip from Bill's audio book where he talked about a black kid putting a vodka bottle in his asshole. Bill asked why it has to be a black kid or a retarded kid doing stuff to him.
Howard said he was honored to have him in the studio. He said he has said too much today. Howard said now he has to go record his song. Howard said he'll play Bill's version of his song ''Silver Nickels And Golden Dimes'' tomorrow. Howard teased that a little bit by singing the opening with Bill a little bit. Howard gave Bill some more plugs and wrapped up with him. Howard said he's glad he can get a full hard on with his wife. He said that gives him hope. Howard played ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes'' as they were ending the interview.
Howard came back and sang along with Sweet Emotion a little bit. He took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said William Shatner knows how to roll with the punches. Howard said he's right about that.
Howard said they're looking for hot mother and daughter teams to play a game where they have to get nude. Howard said he and Robin think no one will enter the contest. Howard said if you do enter and you're the only one then you could win.
Jeff thanked Howard for the chance to get that role of a lifetime. He said he hasn't heard when he'll be doing it but last week it was supposed to be 6 weeks out. Howard said he hopes it all comes together soon. Howard said you never know with movies. He said the guy is a legitimate producer though.
Howard said they had some morning. Robin said it was an exciting one. Howard said Avril was adorable. He said she starts singing and he's like ''Wow!'' Robin said she was talking about starting out at 15 and moving to New York.
Howard said some of those things Mr. Shatner said in his audio book were horrible. Robin said the innocence of Avril was overshadowed by that.
Howard said he knows he has to get to the news but he has to talk about this guy Larry Clayman. Howard said he's not sure who he is but he's demanding that Obama put down the Quran. Howard said JD explained to him who he is but he didn't understand. JD came back in and said that he's an activist who is backed by the republican party. He said that he claims he's going to get Obama out of office by November 19th.
Howard played the clip of this guy saying that Obama has to put the Quran down and get out of office. Howard said that's so ridiculous.
Howard played a clip from a football game where Tom Brady scores and the announcers go nuts. Howard said he'd like Robin to do that for him. He said that she should yell a little bit like that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she knows how to yell. She did that for a few seconds. Mariann said that she saw Howard on Extra TV with Beth. Howard said they asked the two of them a few questions about each other and he was able to match 5 for 5 of them. Howard said he's the greatest husband.
Mariann said that she saw JD Behind the Scenes on Howard TV and it was great. Howard said she's right. He said it's great to see the life of JD. He said it's fascinating. Howard said they have a behind the Scenes for Metallica that's great too. He said they show the whole production. Howard said Scott the Engineer got into a fight with Scott DePace and DePace was wrong. Howard said Scott the Engineer came in on a Sunday to set up for Metallica. That Monday Scott DePace came in and started rearranging everything in the studio. DePace said that's not right. He said he's wrong about what went on. DePace said he asked Scott if he could have pushed some stuff back. He said Scott told him he should have been there. DePace said he should think about being part of the team. Mariann said Scott thinks he's never wrong. She said he's so wrong. Scott told her to shut up.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that they have a line on the floor for where they don't want stuff and he keeps that in mind. DePace said it was the way he responded to him that was wrong. He said Scott took it out on the crew. DePace said they've been there for 20 years and never fucked up any shit and he's still going to blame them. Howard said DePace comes off very poorly in that special.
DePace asked why Avril couldn't hear Robin today. Scott said that she turned down her monitor so that was Avril, not them. Howard said Scott will be proud of himself in that special. He said he comes off pretty good in that one.
Mariann said that Robin was great at her book signing. She was starting to go on a little too much for Howard so he hung up on her.
Howard said they have to get to news. He said he has more stuff to play. He said he has some new Marriage Tips from Sal. He said the guy has the worst marriage but he has marriage tips.
Robin started off talking about a study that was done that found that most people check their email first thing in the morning. Robin said the other thing that people check is their weather app. Then the social media apps and news apps.
Robin read about a priest who was caught masturbating in a Cleveland park and offering a ranger $50 to help him reach a climax. Howard said that's a scream for help. Robin said the guy is 69 years old. Howard said that's sexy. Robin said he pleasured himself in front of the off duty officer. Robin said the priest had waved the guy over to his SUV. He exposed himself and started pleasuring himself. The ranger put him under arrest at that time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at Comic-Con the other day and Shatner was charging $75 per autograph. He said he did some math and figured that he couple make $4500 an hour easily. He said he might be making $45,000 over the course of the 4 days that he's there. Howard said he might be making even more than that. He said he is the draw there for the Star Trek fans. The caller said the line for Shatner went out and around so the line was really long. The guy said it was probably a 2-3 hour line.
Howard mentioned that Jackie the Joke Man and Riley Martin's shows are on Howard 101 tonight.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about a sex show that shocked Rihanna over in Thailand. Robin said it involved a live bird and two turtles. Robin said they arrested the bar owner on obscenity charges.
Robin said she wanted to get a little serious for a moment. Robin said this Malala Yousafzai has written a book and she did not get nominated for a Nobel peace prize. Fred played the ''Ehh'' Benjy clip that he's been playing the last week or two. Howard asked where that came from. Fred said that's Benjy's answer for where his relationship with Marianne Garvey is at.
Robin said that Malala has had more death threats and she's living in England right now. Robin said that she did an interview with Christiane Amanpour. Howard said he saw Robin on with Christiane Amanpour. Howard said that Robin did very well talking to her and Anderson Cooper. Howard said Robin was spewing out facts like crazy. He said he was impressed. Howard said he'd be a total idiot on that show. Robin said on the pre-interview they told her they were going to do a promo for Malala girl and didn't know if Robin would know about her. Robin said that she does stories about her all the time. She said the guy was shocked that she knew about her.
Robin said that this girl is another Mandella or another Ghandi. Howard said that if they don't get any entries for the Mother Daughter contest they'll give the prize money to her. Howard said they'll have to tell her that it came from CougarLife.com though. Howard said this may really upset Andrea but maybe they should make her the new Miss Howard Stern. Howard said she is a brave little girl. Robin said she was being honored in London this weekend. Robin said she wants to raise money to build schools. Robin said they asked Nicole Scherzinger about Malala and what she thought about her. Nicole said she didn't know the story that well. Robin had some audio from that interview. Howard said she's going to be the next judge on The X-Factor. Robin said Nicole was at the event where they were honoring Malala and she didn't know much about her. Robin said she should be paying attention because Malala is fighting for everyone.
Howard asked if Nick Cannon said he dated Nicole for a while. Robin said she thinks he did. Howard wondered who would dump her.
Robin read more about Malala and had some audio clips of her talking about why they need to educate women. Robin said this girl is an amazing person. Robin said she's still unafraid even after being shot. Howard said she's right. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin and Howard spent a little more time talking about Malala and how brave she is. Robin said women should take note about this girl.
Robin read about the standoff in Washington and what a reporter said about this. She said he's claiming that it's racism. Robin said they're trying to make sure the first black president fails. Howard said that's like this guy who was saying that he should put down his Quran. He said that they're just trying to make the guy look bad. Robin said the stand off continues but they hope to have some kind of deal happen soon. Robin said Chris Christie is blaming both sides for this shutdown. Robin had some audio of Christie talking about that.
Robin read about the workers who are furloughed and what they're doing while they're off. Robin had some audio of a worker talking about cutting back while she's off.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if Robin got the flowers she sent. Robin said she didn't get any flowers. Howard asked if she wants to go out with Robin. She said she does. She said she wants to be Mrs. Y. She said she's there taking care of a friend in the area so she asked when they can go to lunch. Robin said she's very busy right now with book promotion. The caller said she wants to come and rub her smooth, chocolate skin. Robin paused and just said ''Okay.'' Howard told the caller to talk about Malala and that will turn Robin on.
Howard said if anyone wants to seduce anyone with flowers, they may get lost. The caller said she sent them about 6 months ago when Robin was out so that's probably why she didn't get them. Howard said Benjy probably gave them to Elisa Jordana. The caller asked if she can give her number to Robin so she can call her when she's in California. Howard told her to hold on and then asked Robin if he should just hang up on her. It sounded like that's what he did.
Robin got back to her news and read about Iran and how they're working on nuclear weapons. Howard said there's no way to stop it. He said North Korea has it and Pakistan has it. Howard said he thinks that he and his running mate may blow all of those countries up. Howard said he thinks that it would be Iran, Pakistan and North Korea that they blow up. Robin said that everyone gets blown up though. He said that's the kind of decisions they have to make. Howard said someone has to do something. Howard said Bill Maher takes him seriously when he says that stuff. He said he really thinks he wants to blow up everyone. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about a woman who allegedly pushed her husband off a cliff just 8 days into their marriage over the summer. Robin said the marriage did last until death. Howard said there were probably people who hadn't even sent wedding gifts yet. Robin said there must have been something wrong before the marriage.
Robin said there's a story about a doctor who may have given his wife a fatal dose of medication that was given to her for her face lift.
Robin read a story about this supplement called Craze that the FDA is looking into. Robin said you may want to think twice about using it. Howard said Benjy might be on that. Benjy said he's not. Howard had Fred playing clips of Benjy and Mark the Bagger saying ''No'' over and over.
Howard said he signed 1,000 North Shore calendars. He said they're shipping out now. He said all of the money is going to build a new facility. Howard said he's not making a dime off of that. He said he's a good person.
Robin read a story about a 12 year old girl who threw a kitten into traffic and it was run over. Howard said you know they're going to be serial killers when they do something like that. Robin said the girl said she would do it again if she could. Howard said you never hear a Nobel peace prize winner talking about how they used to throw kittens into traffic.
Robin read about how Paul Newman's foundation is still giving out money to causes. Robin said one of those charities is for women who have served this country. Robin said they've found that they have trouble getting back into civilian life so they have a group that helps the women with that. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read about how Madonna was thrown out of a movie theater for texting while a movie was playing. Howard said he gets that. He said it takes away from the experience. He said it's rude. Robin said it should only be an emergency text if you do that. Robin said she finds it a great way to communicate. She said it's great to text. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:00am.
DePace asked what happened with Avril not hearing Robin. Scott said that she didn't have any feed in her headphones. He said she could only hear herself. DePace said that should be Scott's responsibility too. Salem said that he won't fight with him about this shit. He said he obviously does everything perfect in his job. DePace said he has a better record than Scott does.
Benjy said this is like when blacks and Jews fight. He said they need to band together. Jon said getting back to the Metallica thing, that was a stressful day for everyone. DePace said he's always been on Scott's side but now he's just going to say fuck it. DePace said he has defended him in the past but now forget it. Salem said that's fine. He said he doesn't have to defend him.
DePace said that it's Scott's attitude that makes it so bad. He said the question he had about the Metallica thing was really nice and they didn't capture that on camera. He said Scott's response was basically ''fuck you'' and it's not his fault if he wasn't there on Sunday. Salem said that he could have been there. He said he's absolutely wrong about the setup. He said he always thinks about the set up in there and stays behind that line that they asked him to.
DePace said they're all on the same team. Salem said that he's always been told that it's radio first. DePace said that radio does come first but it doesn't mean he has to be an asshole. Salem said that he asked him to move something. DePace said he asked if they could have moved something. He wasn't asking him to move it. He said he knew they couldn't move it.
Gary said he has a question. He asked if DePace had people there watching then why didn't they tell him that they needed more room. DePace said that it wasn't as simple as that. He said his guys don't know all of the equipment. He said they had amps on top of amps on top of amps. He said they didn't know to ask the question. DePace said that they just say ''fuck TV'' and just do their thing. DePace told him not to worry about it since they're out of there in a couple of days anyway.
Gary said he thinks that this was a huge set up and DePace could have been off. He said they started to go behind where Scott had done his work and he can understand why he would get upset. DePace said that he had to set up a POV camera that they didn't have in there. Gary asked why they didn't tell someone that they were going to do that. DePace said that they wanted to see where the equipment was going to be. Scott said they wanted to put a GoPro camera at the feet for the drums.
DePace said that they had 20 years of experience and they weren't trying to sabotage them. He said that's all he's saying.
DePace said that it was a really simple question he had for Scott. He said he knew that they'd be fine but he asked if there was a chance they could have moved some of the equipment to a different spot when they were setting up. Gary said he was in the studio when the blow up happened. He said he knows he has an issue with Scott and in this instance he may have been wrong. DePace said that Scott's response to him was basically ''fuck you'' and that's it.
Jon asked Scott Salem if he thinks that he has treated TV wrong all these years. Scott said he has always treated radio first and TV second. DePace said they're all one team and he wishes Scott had seen it that way. Salem said that it's the radio show first. He said it's not a TV show. He said it's a radio show being covered by TV.
DePace said Howard didn't hear the original blow out. He said Scott had to do a lot of extra work on Sunday and he took it out on them. He said he answered a very simple question with a ''fuck you'' attitude and he took it out on his crew. Benjy said maybe they could have worked it out after the show or something.
Jon asked why it's this that set him off. DePace said it used to be funny when he'd blow up over the past 20 years. He said it's happened at ever remote they've done. He said they were the lead in the whole thing and Scott would always yell at them for fucking something up. DePace said they've always had to take it and they did. He said now he's saying ''fuck you.''
Gary said there's always tension there and Howard has always said that radio is first but they have to work hand in hand to make it work. DePace said Scott must not have heard that part.
Gary said there has always been a bit of tension. He said Doug and Will had a falling out a couple of years ago. Gary said it can be kind of challenging to work together with a couple of companies like this. DePace said after all of the work they did they still treated them with that ''fuck you'' attitude.
Salem said that he tried to accommodate them with what they needed. DePace said they used to laugh it off but not anymore.
Gary asked DePace if the two of them designed that studio together. DePace said that there were a lot of people involved. He said there was a time when E! was out of it and In Demand wasn't quite on board. He said that Gary approved some stuff that he didn't want to do and he's still not happy with some of what was done. He said Robin's booth was put in the wrong spot and it fucked up some camera angles. He said that there are some issues there. Gary said he thought he had a good moment there. He said he had no idea it was that bad. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
DePace said that he thinks he's fun to be around and he loves to golf. He said he's a family guy too. He said he thinks he's a great guy. Gary asked if being competitive and being right are the same thing. Scott said it can be.
DePace said he's just as open minded as they are too. He said Gary tells him he's not open minded but Gary is the one who isn't open minded. He said he accuses him of never changing and Gary is really the same guy. Gary asked how it got to be about him. Scott said he started saying that he's like the next guy. He said Jon has opinions about TV shows that he doesn't buy into. He said that Gary hasn't changed his mind. Gary said that Jon has changed his mind on TV shows. He said Jon hated a TV show and he changed his mind. Scott said TV shows don't matter.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't like Scott and he thinks that his comment on Apple yesterday was just another one that he doesn't agree with. The caller said that the two Scotts are both wrong. He said they have to admit their mistakes. Scott asked what he should admit to that he's wrong on. The caller said he should just admit it when it comes up.
Jon asked Scott if he would admit it if he was wrong. Scott said he would. He said they make him out to be something that he's not. Scott said he will admit it when he's wrong and people will clap when he does. Gary said he's doing that in the control room in front of 9 people though.
Gary said he doesn't think what Scott said about Apple is fair. He said that people who buy that stuff aren't drones or stupid like Scott said. Scott said he was just giving his opinion. He said that the products are dumbed down and that's what he said. Gary said they're good products and people like them. He said that it's okay to like something and buy it year after year. Gary asked if he buys a new car every few years. Scott said he does. Gary said then he's a drone. Scott said he doesn't wait on line for a car.
Gary said that they will always be connected on the show and he knows that some people will lose touch. He said that he would check in with Scott Salem. He said he may lose touch eventually. Gary said people will probably just forget to call him.
Benjy said he would go out to dinner with people from the show. He said he would keep up with them the way he does with people from college. He said he'd do that on Facebook. Benjy said he thinks that most of them are good work friends. Gary said he's still friends with the engineer from NBC. He said he was roommates with him for a while though so they stay in touch.
Jon asked if they think that Bill takes his music seriously. Gary said he thinks that he does. He said the interview got kind of strange when Howard asked if he takes this music seriously. Gary said he thinks that Bill does take it seriously.
DePace said every time he comes on the show he energizes his life for him. He said he's a lot of fun. Gary said he's 82 years old next March and he looks great. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said they found out today that one of the guys on Breaking Bad leaked a letter that was sent to Bryan Cranston. Gary asked who that guy would be on this show. Jon said there is only one answer. He said it's Sal Governale. Gary agreed.
Gary asked Ronnie how Scott is doing back there. Ronnie said he's always upset. He said Scott was screaming at 5 this morning. Jon asked if that's because he has to do more work when they have a band in there. Ronnie said that must be it. Jon said he doesn't blow up so much anymore. Ronnie said he should have been there at 5 this morning and he would have seen it.
Jon said Howard has been a fan of Avril's for a long time now. He said that she hasn't gone that direction that other performers have where they get half naked. Gary said she didn't get into that. Gary said Howard has been doing interviews where he asks how they struggled to get where they're at. He said Avril didn't have that big struggle. She was talking about getting that call at 15 from the record company telling her that her album was going to be huge.
Ronnie said Avril has a great butt. Jon asked if he told her that. Ronnie said he kept that to himself until now.
Jon said that Chad let Avril do her thing today and he didn't butt into her interview so much. Jon asked why Nickelback takes so much crap. Gary said he's not sure. He said he's not sure why they became a target. He said these things just happen. He said he's not sure what the big deal is. Benjy said he doesn't know them very well but he thinks that it must be like what Brandano thinks about cougars and how maybe they don't deserve what they're getting. Gary said the rap was that they're very generic and they sound like everything else.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that no one ''digged her'' when she came out except for emo guys. He said that Nickelback is like Justin Bieber. He said they're really mainstream-ie. Gary said that main stream means that they're liked by a lot of people. Jon said he'd agree but they've sold 30 million records. Gary said someone is interested.
Jon asked about Robin's Twitter account being possibly hacked. Gary said she tweeted out about Wolfgang Puck last night and that was kind of odd. Jon wondered if someone is tweeting out for her. Ronnie said he doesn't know about that. He said he does all of his own stuff. He said people would know if it wasn't him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was listening to Avril Lavigne and she had a pause when she was asked about being pregnant. Gary said he was told she wasn't feeling so well today and that she had strep throat. Gary said people lie to their own families about things like that until they're ready to tell people.
Jon asked Gary if he likes that kind of music. Gary said he likes a lot of music like that so people think he's gay. Benjy said he doesn't think he's gay.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what it's like to get A-list celebrities for Howard to interview. He said that he thinks Howard is at the top of his game at interviewing now. The caller asked what the guests are thinking when they come on the show. Gary said they have a show going on there that the audience doesn't get to hear. He said they have large groups in the green room and people are going crazy when they hear certain questions being asked. He said he can only base it on what the publicist says. He said he got a really nice note from Whoopi Goldberg's manager who said that it was a great interview. Gary said no one is going to walk out and say that the interview sucked.
Ronnie said 99 out of 100 times he hears people saying they didn't expect that interview and that Howard was great to them. He said he's in the elevator with these people on their way out so he hears that a lot. He said it's really cool.
Gary said a lot of people say that it wasn't as bad as they expected. He said that's great. Jon said they're going to end the show now. They were done at 11:00am.
Howard started the show talking about how exhausted he was. He said he did a whole show with Gary and Jon Hein. He said it was a good show. Howard said Brian Phelan got it all on video so it wasn't all for naught.
Howard said Piers Morgan is stopping by today. Howard called him Robin's boyfriend. Howard said everyone is Robin's boyfriend.
Howard said they were talking about how many good shows there are on TV. He said he's current with Homeland which was good this week. Howard said he thought it was much better. Robin said she wasn't impressed. Howard said he likes the psychological stuff. Robin said she likes action. Howard said he likes it when things are calmer. He said he liked The Walking Dead this week too. Robin said she did too. Howard said he hasn't watched Blacklist yet or Boardwalk Empire yet. Robin said she did see Boardwalk Empire. She said she had a question about the show and it was answered this week. Howard said he digs all of the black guys on Boardwalk Empire. He said the black is the better actor. He said he likes the whole Chalky and the doctor story line.
Howard said The Walking Dead had 16 million viewers live and another 5 million watching on TiVos. Howard said that's a huge hit. He said he thinks Homeland gets like 2 million viewers. He said it's weird and he thinks about who is watching this stuff. He said they're the best shows. He said he's not sure why anyone would watch network shows instead of cable. He said there might be too much stuff to watch.
Robin said there's a show called The Americans that's such a good show. Howard said he started watching it but it was too confusing for him. He said he'll get to it eventually. Howard said Robin did turn him on to Banshee and that's really good. Howard said he's almost done with season 1. Howard said Robin must love that guy on the show and he pictures her pleasuring herself to him with vegetables. Robin said she only eats vegetables now. Howard said he was thinking about how vegetables have been her life since she was a little girl. Howard said she masturbated with them at a young age. He said she loved them like few people have loved them. Robin said she's not going to any vegetable convention or anything.
Howard said he's not sure how you pick what America wants to see. He said that he has to come on the radio and figure out what people want to listen to for 4 hours. He said it seems more ridiculous to pick a TV show. Howard said he's not sure how you do that. He said his dad told him that it's very hard being a program director because you don't know what music to pick. Howard said he did try that for a while though. Robin said some people can do it. Howard said there's that guy Kevin Weatherly that does it really well. He said he's some sort of weird nudnik that can pick songs that people want to hear. Howard said he was on a bus with Kevin at Jimmy Kimmel's wedding. Howard said he told Kevin he recognized him even though he didn't. Howard said he does that all the time.
Howard said he's not sure if he ever worked with Kevin. Robin said she thinks they did. Howard said he thinks he was against them. He was the PD at KROQ. Howard said now he's Booker's boss at some station out there. Howard said they all worked for Viacom though.
Howard said he and Kevin had a nice conversation on the bus. He said the bus ride was a long one. He said it was at a golf resort and it was like a half hour drive there. Howard said he wasn't sure where he was at. Howard said he and Kevin talked about radio and spoke in radio lingo.
Howard said Gary knows some radio lingo but not all of it. Howard said Gary picks up TV terms and applies them to radio. Howard said he once said that they needed a ''hard out'' but that's a TV thing. Gary said that was actually Gange's thing, not his. Howard said Gar has worked in radio for a long time. Gary said he worked at NBC before Howard's show for about a year. Howard said he doesn't know the terminology. Gary said this isn't a fight he's interested in. Howard said it's good that Gary doesn't know this stuff. Gary said he's going to take a hard out on this discussion.
Howard said Gary has put on some weight. He said he can see it in his shirt. Gary said he's actually lost some weight. He's around 205 pounds. Fred played a Baba Booey song parody for him. Gary said he doesn't care what Howard thinks. Howard said he's like a woman adjusting his shirt like a dress.
Howard said Gary knows the basics of radio. He asked Gary what AM stands for. Gary said it's something modulation. Gary said he didn't have to take the tests that Howard had to take. Howard said he got a first class radio license. He said you don't need to know that stuff.
Howard said AM is Amplitude Modulation. Gary said he's sure that most people in radio don't know that. Gary said he doesn't care though. Howard asked if he knows what FM stands for. Gary said that's Frequency Modulation. He was right.
Howard said Gary is still pulling on his shirt. He said he knows he's gained weight when he does that. He said he's uncomfortable because his folds are showing. Fred played some more Baba Booey song parodies while they were talking about all of that.
Howard said he doesn't like the RaRa Retard and Mama Monkey references in those songs. Gary said he could do without them too but he can handle it. Gary told Howard they have guests there. Howard said they'll leave him alone since he's working over there.
Howard said this is what they call boogie music. Howard said he can't get into this stuff. Howard said that ELO isn't in the hall of fame. He said they have LL Cool J and NWA on the list and he's wondering if they have rap guys on the list then why not country acts? He said they must think that the rap guys are cool or something.
Howard said Deep Purple isn't in the hall of fame either. Howard said Peter Gabriel is in the list. He said Hall and Oates is also in the list but not in the hall of fame yet. Howard said this would be their first nomination. Howard said KISS and The Meters are on the list too. Howard said they must be a band that either traveled around on a bus or they're all black guys. Gary said they are all black. Fred found some of their music and played a song for Howard. Howard talked about how tough their career must have been and talked it up like it was a documentary. Howard said he knows their whole story and he doesn't even know who they are. Howard said they had to sit in the back of their own bus.
Howard said Chubby Checker is pissed off an he'll be calling in today. Howard said he's upset that no one is playing his music. Howard said Chubby gets pissed off and he has to put things in perspective for him. He said every kid loved The Twist but you can't build a career off that. Howard said there have been 7 Twist songs. He said Chubby didn't even write that. He said it was a country guy, Hank Ballard, that wrote it. Howard said Hank had a moderate hit with it and Chubby made it a huge hit. Gary said Hank is in the hall of fame too.
Howard said the story goes that Dick Clark had the American Bandstand and Hank was signed up to come on and sing. Howard said for some reason he wasn't able to get there so they found someone who sounded like Hank and that was Chubby. Howard said that's weird. He said he has to talk Chubby off the ledge. He said he's upset that people aren't playing his music.
Robin said she just Googled Chubby's name and she found that he's suing over a penis measuring app. Howard said it was called a ''Chubby Checker'' so that's why he went berserk over it. Howard said you don't want a cock measuring device named after you. Howard said if he had let that go then people would have asked if he invented the app.
Howard said he thinks this Hank Ballard version is a great version of the song. Howard asked Robin not to say that when Chubby calls in.
Howard said the Zombies, Yes, Cat Stevens and others are on the list of possible nominees. Howard said Yes belongs in there. He said Cat Stevens might belong too but he's been on shaky ground for a while now. Howard sang some of his stuff.
Robin read the list of songs that Chubby has put out. Many of them had the word ''twist'' in them. There were a few other songs named after dances. Fred said he could make the argument that Chubby belongs in there. He said there are some people who are on the list who may not belong on the list. He said Dell Shannon is one. He wrote one good song that you can name. Howard said Linda Ronstadt is on the list. Howard said she's ill and she had a lot of hit records. He said she didn't write them though. Fred said she was influential though. Robin said she read that she's ill and can't sing anymore. Howard said he loved it when Robin fought with her on the Tonight Show.
Howard read some of the mail he got about Eric. Howard said someone said that they change the channel when he's on. Howard said the guy thinks his 15 minutes has passed and he's getting too much time on the air. Howard said the guy says they should get a new wack packer. Howard said they had a meeting yesterday about that and they may have a new one. Howard said this guy says that he and his buddies all change the channel when Eric is on. Howard asked what he should do about this. Eric said they're all a bunch of worthless fucks who can go to hell.
Howard said he was reading Eric's tweets the other day and he thought that was fun. Howard said Eric's appearances are hit and miss. He said he thinks that it's a better world with Eric. Robin said she's always enjoyed Eric and they should keep him. Howard asked Fred if he thinks his best work is done on the show. Fred said he thinks he's only going to get better. Benjy said he still loves Eric on the show.
Howard said he likes Eric too. He said he wouldn't put him on if he didn't like him. Benjy told him to go with his gut then. Howard said Benjy is like a pimply Yoda with that advice. Fred played Benjy's ''Ehh'' sound and Howard said he loves that. Fred said someone said that they would listen to an entire channel of that noise.
Howard asked Eric what he has to say today. Eric said after he was on yesterday he heard them playing Robin songs. He said he has an idea. He said they should put all of those songs online or on CD for the fans to purchase. Howard laughed. Howard said when they use music of other people you can't really do that. He said he'd consider that though. Gary sarcastically said that idea has never been floated by anyone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they're all tired of hearing from Eric. He said everyone in the office is tired of him too. Gary said he's not. He said he loves hearing Eric. The caller said he's so fucking boring. Howard said Fred does a great impression of him. Fred did some of that impression where he pauses between syllables.
Howard said no one has any idea what he was talking about. The caller said they should put Jeff the Drunk on whenever he calls in. Howard said even the caller is getting boring now.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he feels bad for Eric and it makes him feel better about his own life.
Another caller asked Howard if he has ever wished he had a brother growing up. Howard said absolutely not. He said he's glad he didn't have one. Howard said that never works out. Howard said everyone he knows who has a brother, 99 percent of the time, they fucking hate them. Howard said he was a child who liked having his mother's attention almost full time. Having to share that would have killed him. He said his sister didn't want the attention. He said it was like she wasn't even in the house. Howard said that's why she wasn't even in the movie. Howard said when the brother is older the brother beats up the younger one. Howard said if you're more successful than your brother the brother will go ape shit.
Howard said he was reading about how Stephen Baldwin has to go to court and he was wondering if Alec has to go bail him out or anything. He said siblings are only a burden. He said if you're an only child then you're blessed. Howard said a kid should never complain and they should just be happy. He said his sister is no bother to him at all and that's rare. Howard said having siblings is a curse.
Howard said he doesn't even think the Bacon brothers get along even though they tour together. Howard said Ron Howard's brother must not even like his brother because he's so successful. Howard said his daughters all love each other. Fred said his wife loves her sister and vice versa. Howard said sisters are a different story. Howard said the brother thing is tough. He said he and his sister just get along but brothers are a different story. Howard said the Wachowski brothers did the right thing and one of them became a woman. Howard said that's the way to go if you have a brother.
Robin said that Michael Buffer was adopted and he found out later in life that he had brothers and one became his business manager or something. Robin said that's because he didn't grow up with him.
The caller asked Howard about Jamie Foxx dating Katie Holmes. Howard said he thinks that's good. He said it helps to desensitize people to that. He said he knows a lot of people are hung up on that. Howard said he thinks that Jamie will fuck her but leave her soon. Howard said he'll fuck her for a little bit but he won't stop the party there. Howard said he's not even sure if that story is true. He said if he is banging her it's more for the publicity than anything else.
The caller asked Howard how attractive he finds Avril Lavigne. Howard said she's very attractive. Howard said she and her husband were good on the show yesterday. Robin asked how long he thinks that relationship will last. Howard said he doesn't know if they'll go the distance. Robin said it's tough when you work together. The caller said that it's almost inevitable that they'll break up. Howard said these women insist on aging and that could bring things to an end. He said that guys in rock and roll are very visual. Howard said it's rare when you see a guy in show business being able to stay focused on one woman.
Howard said that even if the marriage doesn't last it's got to be a lot of fun for now. Howard said Avril told them about how she got dressed up for Chad while she was cooking dinner. Howard said the thought of that was making him mental on his drive home. Howard said he looked up the lingerie that she mentioned and it was really sexy. He said he can't remember the name of it. He said she cooks, plays guitar and sings. He said that's some situation there. Robin said she was talking about how she goes around the house singing. Howard said the name of the lingerie is Agent Provocateur. He said you can look it up online.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that sometimes the woman gets tired of the man too. Howard said he thinks that Avril dumped a couple of the guys she was with.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard needs to go to another day of therapy a week. The caller said he buried 3 brothers and a sister and he misses them a lot. Howard said he must be very evolved then. Howard asked how many brothers he had. He said there were 5 boys and 3 girls. Howard asked if he killed them. The caller called him a dick head and laughed. Howard said sometimes it works out for people. He said that's the minority though.
Howard asked Benjy if he has any brothers. Benjy said he has two sisters. He said it they have great skin too. Howard said that's not fair. He said Benjy has such red, blotchy skin. He said it's not fair. Today it wasn't too bad though. Howard said today is a good day for his skin. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he spends like every weekend listening to Led Zeppelin, Mountain and Metallica. He said he might be burnt out on Zeppelin.
Howard said he heard from Chubby Checker who thinks that an injustice is being done to him. Howard had him on the phone to talk about that. Chubby said that he really appreciates him having him on the show. He said he loves the show.
Howard said he knows that Chubby has had many other songs other than The Twist. Howard said Chubby's name is not on the possible nominees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said Chubby asked them to put him in before he's too old to perform. Howard told Chubby about the names that are on the list. Howard said Chubby's name is not on there. Chubby said that doesn't bother him. He said all of those people are great and they deserve to have that.
Chubby said his pictures are all over the hall of fame already. He said that the reason he's calling in is because no one is playing The Twist anymore. He said he has a new song out called ''Changes'' and it is being played in the adult contemporary stations. Howard said that if you look at radio now things have changed. Howard said that there are many songs in his genre that aren't being played. Howard read off a list of songs that aren't being played. He said it's that genre of music with a few exceptions.
Chubby said that this song is the number one song in the world. He said that's not being played. He said he just wants to get that song played.
Howard told Chubby that there are many songs that were number one songs that aren't being played. chubby said that The Twist is the number one song in the world. He said people need to hear the song and who sung it. He said it's not just for him. He said it's for everyone. Howard asked what it means to be number one on the planet. Chubby said that it was voted the number 1 song of all time by Billboard magazine. Howard asked what he wants him to do about it. Chubby said he's doing it right now by talking about it. Howard said he must understand what he's saying though. He said The Tokens had a number one song. Chubby told him not to bring him that. He said he's talking about the number one song on the planet.
Gary came in and said that every radio station has a format. He said that they can't just play that song on every station. Chubby said there is no format for the number 1 song on the planet. Howard played the song for him. He told him to rub one out to that.
Howard said he was telling Robin about this. Chubby said Robin looks great and congratulated her on getting better. Howard said maybe they can get the President to give an executive order to play the song on every station.
Chubby said that he must have heard the song when he went out with his first girlfriend. Howard said he did the Twist so hard that he almost dug to China. Howard said he was telling Robin the story about the Twist and how he didn't write the song. Howard said it was Hank Ballard. Howard said Hank was supposed to be on American Bandstand but he wasn't able to make it. Robin said Hank had a number of risque hits so they were afraid he was going to taint the song. Howard said the story is that Chubby sounded like Hank so they brought him in to perform the song. Chubby said that's not true. He said the song was a B-side and someone gave it to him and he changed everything. Howard asked if he made a ton of dough from that record. Chubby said he's still around and performing the song. He said he's not a millionaire though.
Chubby said he has a new song called ''Changes'' and it's on the adult contemporary charts. Howard asked if he got laid a lot from that song. Chubby laughed. Howard asked if he's still married. Chubby said he's still hanging out with her. Howard said that's his only wife too. Howard asked if he got a ton of shit for marrying a white woman back then. Chubby said they still give people a hard time about that. He said they say that more white men are married to black women than black men are married to white women.
Howard asked Chubby if he's ever had sex with his wife while The Twist was playing. Chubby laughed and said yes. Howard said he would probably do the same thing. Howard asked how many times he's done that. Chubby said he can't go there. He said he's so glad that he got to meet Howard when he saw him at a book signing. He said he really is a fan of Howard's.
Howard asked when he put this new song out. Chubby said it's been out for 4 or 5 months now. Howard played some of the song. Howard said Chubby still has a great voice. Howard said he's going to call Kevin Weatherly and tell him to play The Twist. Howard said maybe they can get stations to play the song at the same time one day. Chubby said he'd like to hear the song played as much as Twist and Shout. Howard said that's a tough order but they might be able to do that.
Chubby said he has a problem with the radio community giving his fame to the Beatles. Howard said he tried to calm him down by telling him that there are other people who can't get their songs played on the air from that era. Robin said that styles change. Howard said he was trying to tell him about all of these other people who had hits can't get them played. Chubby said he doesn't want to hear that.
Chubby said that the song is the number one song on the planet and it's the only song like that. Robin said they play all kinds of music on Sirius and they must play his stuff there. Howard said it must be.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that every song he did after that he tried to make sound like The Twist. Chubby said it doesn't matter. Howard said it doesn't matter because it's The Twist he's talking about. Chubby kept saying it is the number one song on the planet.
Another caller asked if Chubby fell down and hit his head while doing The Twist. He said that he's out of his mind. Howard said it's the number one song in the world. Chubby said maybe the caller is crazy himself.
Howard said Chubby got everyone crazy from this. Chubby said he's just looking for a chance. Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he was going to buy his album until he heard he was married to a white woman. Robin said King isn't married to a black woman either. King said he was just wondering what it is about the white women that he likes. Howard said that's ridiculous.
Chubby said he was in the Philippines and he saw Miss World there in her bathing suit. He said he wasn't thinking about her being black or anything. He said he wanted to be with her and that's who he's stayed with. He said he didn't see color. He just saw that thing walking in front of him and he didn't care. Howard said every man understands that.
Howard was going to wrap up but Chubby was wondering if that was it. Howard said that's it. Chubby said you can't judge a record if they're not hearing it. He said they should play the song and let people yell at them to take it off the air.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's calling from Mars and it's number one up there too. He said it's playing up there though.
Ham Hands Bill called in and said his family are all big fans. He said his mom had the song play at her wedding. He also asked if the white wife was the first asshole he licked or were there others. Howard said he doesn't think he's going to answer that. Chubby didn't even understand what Bill was asking.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she thinks he should go on Dancing with the Stars with that. She said she emailed Spyder Harrison about it and they need to get this campaign going. Howard had to hang up on her when she got excited and started yelling.
Howard played a few of Chubby's songs and he had a few that sounded like The Twist. Howard said he also had Limbo Rock. Howard said they're all dances. Chubby said now he has Changes. Howard said he played the songs today. Chubby thanked him for letting him be heard. Howard said he should do what Mariann suggested and go on Dancing with the Stars. Chubby said he actually did that. Howard said that the number one song on the planet is The Twist. He said you can get more information about Chubby at ChubbyChecker.com.
Chubby said that Howard's wife looks great. He told Robin he hopes she continues to get better too. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said the poor guy just wants to hear his song being played. Howard said there are so many artists out there that can't get their music played. Howard said he did research to make him feel better. Howard said he got a letter from Chubby asking him to get on the air to talk about this. He said the guy is such a nice guy. Robin said there aren't many songs that can go to number 1 twice. Howard said he thought this would make him feel better. He read some of the number one hits they looked up and how no one hears that stuff anymore.
Howard said that he was believing that the song is the number one song on the planet. Fred said he looked it up and it really is. He said that you'd have to ask Billboard what that means though.
Howard said he couldn't wait for this day. He kept telling Hanzi goodbye and he'd get upset so Fred would play the song. Howard said that song works so well. Howard said he really does have to take a break. He said the song works when Hanzi is really worked up. He said that song is the number 2 song on the planet. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that song is beautiful. Robin said that's not the number one song on the planet. Howard said he read an article in Rolling Stone about Nirvana and Dave Grohl. He said it's always interesting. He said it's amazing that Dave was the drummer in Nirvana. Howard said he can write so many great songs himself.
Howard said Piers Morgan has his own show on CNN. He said he's going to tell him about his two favorite moments on his show. Howard said he hasn't seen Piers in a long time. He said the last time he saw him was on his talk show. Howard said Piers left America's Got Talent to do his own show. Howard said getting a guest is so difficult that he could probably write a book about getting Oprah as a first guest. Piers said he eventually did.
Piers told Howard that he was staying in Los Angeles at a hotel where he lived for a couple of years. Piers said he remembers going out to the Monkey Bar and hanging out with Andrew Lloyd Webber's daughter Imogen. He said he threw the party and she showed up with some amazing wine. He said he might have one glass a night usually but on the weekends he's a typical Brit. He said one bottle goes down nicely. He said in America if you drink more than 2 bottles then they call the Betty Ford clinic. Piers said they were drinking bottles that were like $8,000 a bottle. Howard asked if he can even tell the difference. Piers said the stuff at $30 can taste just as good as the 8 grand bottle.
Piers said they had nobody for his show in January of the year he was starting. He wanted to get Obama but he wasn't available. He said he bumped into a friend who told him to try Oprah. Piers said this guy said Gayle King was his friend. He said he contacted Gayle through this guy and she worked on Oprah to do the show. Piers said when Oprah walked through the door and Gayle was there. She said that Oprah asked Gayle to remind her why she was there and Gayle said Piers is a good interviewer but she had never seen him interview anyone.
Piers said he had Oprah the first night but he had someone even bigger the next night. That was Howard. Howard said he had fun doing the show. Piers said he should come back. Howard said he doesn't do too many interviews like that. Piers said he understands that.
Howard said the part he hates about Piers' job is that he's up against other political shows where they scream and yell at each other. Howard said Piers is doing straight interviews. Howard said if he was on 60 Minutes he'd be hailed all over for his interviews. Howard said it's so hard to do an interview in an hour long format. Piers said they realized that right away.
Howard heard noise coming from somewhere but he wasn't sure where it was coming from. He said it looks like Gary may have sat on his microphone in the office.
Piers told Howard he writes about the guest thing in his book. He said they had a lot of news going on during his show start so they had fantastic ratings. He said he thought it was going to be easy to keep that going. He said they had a lull in the news for a few months and that brings the ratings down on CNN. He said they go up and down depending on the news that's happening.
Piers said he had an interview with Pastor Rick Warren that was fascinating. He said he's interviewed Bill Clinton too and that was great. Piers said that the thing that gets your juices flowing is being at the center of things when a massive news story breaks. He said he tried to mix things up with his show but it's not easy.
Howard asked when he interviews a guy and he drones on does he want the guy to just shut up. Piers said they had a pre-taped thing with the president of Tunisia. He said the guy insisted on speaking French. He said he just asked him how things were going. 10 Minutes later he was still speaking in a droning monotone. Piers said they spent the entire interview on one question. He said they use a few lines and then put the rest online or something.
Piers said he would like to speak to Robert De Niro but he's heard that he is a tough interview. Howard said he figured he could get him to talk if he was on his show. Piers said he got Robert De Niro and they had a 1 second delay on the satellite. He said they showed a scene of Robert in one of the Fockers movies. He said De Niro looked at it without making a sound. He said he wasn't happy about it. Piers said he knows Robert can be entertaining. He said he doesn't think he likes the whole interview dynamic. He said he doesn't need to because of who he is. Howard said he could be nice to him by playing along with something he agreed to do.
Piers said he was getting desperate with the interview. Piers said he was getting nothing out of him for 10 minutes and they had him booked for 40 minutes. Piers said he asked Robert who he thinks is the best actor out there. De Niro said he didn't think he was the right guy to ask. He said it was like trying to get blood from a stone. Piers said he told De Niro that the interview was a challenge.
Howard asked if he wanted to ask him why he did the interview if he didn't want to do it. Piers said he had Morgan Freeman on the show and he was great. He said he talked about everything for the whole hour. He said it was magical television. He said it was the same with Jeff Bridges. Piers said it's pot luck doing a show like that.
Howard said it's such a weird thing with De Niro. He said you expect the guest to help with half of the interview at least.
Piers said he asked Bill Clinton if he does a Bono impression since Bono did one of Bill. He said Clinton came in and they showed Bono doing his impression of Clinton and then asked Bill if he did his impression of Bono. He said Bill put on some dark shades like he was going to do an impression but he didn't do it. He said he can't do a great impression but he loved that moment when he put on the glasses.
Howard said Piers has a new book called ''Shooting Straight: Guns, Gays, God, and George Clooney'' and you can find out more at PiersMorganBook.com
Piers told Howard about going to a party and meeting a bunch of big celebrities like Woody Allen and others. He said he though it was a great place to get guests. Howard said he could never do that at a party. He said he'd feel weird about asking people to do his show like that. Piers said he went right up to Woody and asked him to do the show. He said the room went silent. He said Barbara Walters asked him to the party and she blurted out that it would be inappropriate to ask him to do his show there. He said she way she did it made everyone laugh so it broke the tension.
Piers said the discomfort of that moment was amazing. Howard said that he could have stuck to his movies and just talked to him about that. He said it could have been a great interview.
Piers said that he went to a Knicks game and Bill O'Reilly was at he other end of the room. He said the guy is gigantic. Howard said he really is big. Howard said he doesn't look that big on TV. Piers said he was towering over everyone. He said he told his publicist that he was going to ask him to do the show. Piers said he went over and introduced himself. Bill didn't do anything. He said he just kept saying ''Uh huh'' and didn't want to do the show. He said he walked off and went back to Megan and told her that he was a dick. About 10 minutes later Bill walked over to him with his daughter and her friend. They were 14 years old. He said Bill said that his daughter was a big fan of America's Got Talent and he asked if he could take a photo. Piers said it would be a pleasure. Piers said maybe Bill would like to take the picture. He said that Bill was steaming. He said as he went to take the picture a man in the room flew in between them with his arms up saying that they can't have Mr. Morgan's privacy invaded. Piers said he was happy to take the photograph though.
Howard said he hates being a dick to anyone. He said he's not sure what Bill was thinking. Piers said he has that story in the book and he saw Bill at a party the other night. He said Bill said ''Hi Piers'' and just walked off. Piers said he thinks the guy is just a dick. Howard said he saw him at a party in the Hamptons and he's amused by the guy. He said Bill walked up to him and said he wanted to help his career by letting him come on his show. Howard said he asked if he was serious. Piers said he was probably dead serious.
Piers said that Bill's show is fantastic if you like that kind of thing. He said his dad would watch Bill's show every night while he was there visiting. He said his dad loves the guy and he had never seen him before.
Howard said Piers tried to get Rupert Murdoch to do his show. Piers said he worked for Rupert and he kept emailing him. He said Rupert emailed back an told him on a scale of 1-100 that his chances were less than 0. He said that he must not trust him.
Piers said he ran into Rupert on the red carpet at an event not long after he was turned down. He said that he asked him how he felt about CNN being on a ratings rampage and that FOX was going down. He said Rupert just laughed and said he was very comfortable.
Piers told Howard about meeting with Rupert Murdoch for the first time and how great it was working with him. He said that he was told how to be a newspaper editor. He said they discussed newspapers, world events and all sorts of stuff the first night he met with him. He said Rupert was creating a lot of ground breaking TV. He said Rupert just made him the new editor of one of his newspapers. He said he knew his life was never going to be the same again. He said it was like Simon Cowell taking him to America's Got Talent. He said that these guys did a lot for him and he owes them a lot. Piers said that Rupert isn't perfect but you have to take the good with the bad.
Howard said that there are rumors that he's going to be replaced with Katie Couric or someone. Piers said that has been going on since he started. He said he doesn't give a damn. Howard said he has a huge ego though. Piers said when he was made the Editor of News of the World he was only 28. He said he knew they wanted him to fall flat on his face. He said he got the same feeling at CNN. He said he just keeps going though. He said that it keeps him going when people don't want him to succeed. He said he's been on CNN for 3 years now and that's 3 years longer than a lot of people thought he would last.
Howard said he feels the same way. He said he would get hassled for years about his ratings and then he gets to number 1 and they still hassle him. He said he eventually just did things his own way.
Howard asked how the rumors start about him being replaced. Piers said that he has an extension for another year. He said that some blogger out there is making this stuff up. He said he was taught a lesson by a cricket player. He said that every Monday morning his name was in the paper whether he won or lost. He said his name was Michael Parkinson. He said that it was like he was the only person that mattered to the people in his town.
Piers said that it's just an annoyance in your life. Howard said some people try to get under his skin but they're like mosquitos to him. He said they're just an itch.
Howard asked Piers if he's been asked not to put certain things on his show. Piers said they don't really. He said he does a lot of gun control stories on his show. Howard asked if that's why Michael Moore wrote the foreword for his book. Piers said he did. He told Howard about working for the Daily Mirror and how they had a big shooting there. He said that nothing was political over there. They lost a bunch of kids and they were all for gun control over there. He said they banned all assault weapons and hand guns. He said since then they've had an average of 35 gun deaths a year. He said here in America they have 11-13,000. He said they've had one mass shooting and not one at a school since then.
Howard said he loved when Piers and Alex Jones went at it. He had some audio from that interview. Howard played some of that for Piers.
Piers said that was a very interesting interview. He said that it showed a mentality that people think that the British are going to try to take this country back. He said that it's not going to happen like that. He said that the nuclear weapons out there have changed things. He said that the country doesn't need so many guns in circulation. Howard asked if he enjoyed that interview. Piers said he did like it.
Howard said he had Robert Blake on the show too. He said Blake thought he was after him and going after him. Howard played some of that interview too. Blake was telling Piers to be careful with what he asks him. He thought Piers was calling him a liar. Piers said he wasn't. They went back and forth and Robert eventually said that his skin is a little thin.
Howard asked if he was afraid of him. Piers said this was 10 years later after his wife had died. He said that his life had been wrecked by the whole thing and at one point he took his jacket off and the four guards came in to watch him to make sure he didn't do anything. Howard said he'd rather have Robert Blake on his show and not have Robert De Niro.
Howard said he had Robert Blake on the show years ago and he asked him something innocuous and he freaked out asking if he was calling him a monkey.
Piers said it's not clear if he's upset that his wife was killed by someone else and his career went up in smoke or if he's upset because he did it himself.
Piers said that interview was interesting. He said the other one was Charlie Sheen. He said he got Charlie on the show and told him to do it live with him. He said Charlie swore on his kids lives that he'd be there. Piers said 5 minutes before air time he wasn't there. He said he had no plan B. Piers said he showed up in his giant Maybach car. He said it was Charlie smoking a cigarette. He said he came up saying that they were going to win. Piers said they did the interview and his favorite moment was when he asked if he was drug free and Charlie brought his latest drug test results. He said he saw him scribbling on the test report and it was autographed saying ''Piers, lets get hammered. Charlie.''
Piers said that Charlie was in a crazy world with the goddesses and all of that. He said he thinks that it's more simplistic than people think. He said he interviewed Martin Sheen about it. He said Martin said that his son likes to party and he wishes he would party less.
Howard said Piers wanted to get Mel Gibson on his show so he drove to his house to get him. Howard said he was in such bad shape that he told him he probably shouldn't do his show. Piers said that he was a guy right on the edge. He said Mel is a very smart man and he's very intelligent. Piers said he had a happy marriage and it all went up with this Russian girl. He said he sat with him in his room for a couple of hours. Piers said it was an amazing thing to be involved with. He said he was half ranting and half emotional. Piers said as he was watching him he realized that he was in an appalling place. He said he could have put him on TV and gotten another Robert Blake moment. He said he thought about him being a father and he didn't want his kids to see him like that. Howard said he must have been torn because he could have been thinking about how great it would be if he did have a meltdown. Piers said that his kids could have stopped talking to him if they had seen him in this state. Howard said he didn't know that Piers was like that.
Howard gave Piers a plug for his book ''Shooting Straight: Guns, Gays, God, and George Clooney'' and asked why Clooney's name is in there. Piers said Clooney asked him the same question. He said that he wanted to talk about a lot of things that are in the American life and he wanted a celebrity in there. He said George Clooney is his kind of guy. He said he parties but he does good things for the world too. He said he's a great guy and he has a great dad too. He said Nick Clooney is a great guy and he can see where George got his charm from. He said they're the kind of people who should be stars.
Howard asked Piers if he misses America's Got Talent. Piers said that he did 6 years of America's Got Talent and 4 seasons of Britain's Got Talent. He said he couldn't have been happier to see Howard take his place. He said after so much time on that show he ran out of ways of telling people they suck. Howard said he had done it and he could see he wanted to move on.
Piers said he was doing America's Got Talent and doing the news story about the earthquake in Japan. He said he had to go do both things. At one point he went to judge AGT and he had a guy who was farting as each of the judges. He said that's when he realized he had to change something. Howard asked if that guy was Mr. Methane. Piers said it wasn't him but it was someone who did farting as his act.
Howard asked Piers about why Kate Moss kicks him. Piers said that she just has a habit of kicking him when she sees him.
Piers said he ran into Tom Cruise once and he knocked his drink out of his hand. He said he introduced himself and Tom just said hi and turned around. He said he also ran into Katie Holmes and he asked her to do the show and asked her not to bring Tom with her. He said she seemed kind of keen on the idea.
Howard said Piers has charmed them again. He gave him some plugs for his book and for his CNN show that's on at 9pm. Piers said he couldn't be happier that Howard is sitting in his AGT chair.
Howard said he should have Alex Jones on his show every night. Piers said maybe the three of them should judge a talent show. Howard said that's an idea. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he feels bad for Hanzi. Hanzi said he does not. He said he doesn't like him. Howard said he actually does care about him. Hanzi said he doesn't know anything about him. Howard said from what he's been told he's mentally ill. Hanzi said he's going to play him up like he's a psycho. Hanzi said he hopes he dies soon. Howard said that's what's sad. Hanzi started to get worked up so Fred played his song. Hanzi said he doesn't want to be on this shitty planet. Fred kept the song playing while Hanzi was flipping out. He yelled at Fred to stop playing that fucking song.
Hanzi said he can't get a thought out. He said this doesn't serve a purpose. Howard was laughing and Hanzi said this is why he won't take his IQ test. He said he knows that he's inhuman and he knows he's not as smart as other people.
Howard asked if Hanzi is a stutterer too. Robin said she thinks he is. Fred played a few clips of him stuttering out a few words.
Howard asked Hanzi to call some radio stations up there in Canada and ask them to play The Twist. Hanzi said he hates that guy too. Gary asked if there's anyone he likes. Howard accidentally hung up on Hanzi when he picked up on another caller.
Howard said he has the new William Shatner song to play. He said that it's a cover of his song ''Golden Nickels and Golden Dimes'' that he did with Electric Comic Book in 6th grade. Howard played the original version of the song. He said they were scared of Shatner so they didn't want to ask him to do more than one take.
Howard had Hanzi back on the line and said he didn't mean to hang up. Howard let the other caller talk to Hanzi. The caller made a cuckoo clock sound and told him to go back to his room and stop calling in. Hanzi asked if this was another set up by Howard. Howard said this is real. Hanzi said people have told him that he organizes calls. Howard said he doesn't work that hard. Howard said Hanzi makes it seem like he's doing a lot more work than he actually does. Hanzi said people on Twitter buy followers. Howard said he doesn't buy any. Hanzi said he does too.
Howard took another call from a guy who went off on Hanzi. Hanzi said he doesn't want to talk to these people. He said he knows what they're going to do. The caller said he knows that everything is a conspiracy with Hanzi. Hanzi told him to get off the phone. Howard said he can't have a radio show if he keeps that up. Hanzi said that's never going to happen anyway. He said that was all a ploy to get video of his home.
Angry Black called in and told Hanzi to take his meds. The two of them went back and forth with insults for a minute. They apparently had the same argument on Twitter last night.
Howard said he has to get to the new hit song. Hanzi said he has to listen to him. Howard was getting Hanzi all worked up again so Fred played his theme song.
Hanzi said the world works like X-Men and everyone is a mutant. Howard said he agrees that Hanzi is a mutant. He let him go a short time later.
Howard asked if they gave Shatner the lyrics. Jason came in and said that he got the lyrics off a site that had them down. He said that he was ad-libbing a lot too. Howard said this is kind of an insult to Electric Comic Book. Howard said these lyrics are just wrong. He said he didn't sing that. Howard said now he knows how McCartney felt when Bill released ''Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.''
Howard let he song play and said he thinks he's going to throw up. Howard said maybe they can add some back up singers to sing along with ''silver'' and ''nickels.''
Howard said those are not the lyrics to his song. He said they have them wrong in the internet. Howard said all of the devil chimes stuff wasn't in there. Howard said he'll get upset if he reads the lyric sheet. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he said to Piers Morgan that he was going to do something for him and gave him a Sybian to jack his ratings up. Howard said they can't have insertion there at Sirius but over at CNN they might. Howard said he told Piers to try wearing suspenders too but he didn't like that idea.
Howard said Piers keeps a diary and he used the notes from that to write his book. Howard said they call it journaling now and he's going to try that too. He said it's the same thing as keeping a diary though.
Howard said Chubby Checker is hurt by his song not being played. Howard said he has a few people there he can call chubby. He said he can call Jason, Jon, Benjy and JD chubby.
Howard said it was time for Robin's news. Fred played some Hanzi ''No, no, no'' clips and then a Little Mikey song parody.
Robin said there are too many things to talk about in the news. Howard said they should just go home then. Howard said he can guess that the first story will be about Anthony Weiner. Howard said Weiner was on Sean Hannity's show and he has to learn to calm down. He said he didn't want to talk about what was going on with his marriage and all of that. Howard said he should just talk about it. Howard said he loves all of the arguing and it's good TV but he has to calm down.
Howard said Scott DePace and Scott the Engineer were going at each other on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. He said that they were going back and forth arguing and it was great. Howard said they were both angry. He said he thought one of them was going to grow hair from the blood rushing to their head.
Howard said Jon and Gary are going to be doing live wrap up shows on Thursdays and Fridays now. He said they'll be wrapping up whatever shows they're playing.
Robin read about how Russell Brand is big into Transcendental Meditation. Robin said Russell has told her that he thinks he's turned more people on to TM than Howard has. Howard asked how he would know that. Robin said she doesn't know.
Howard asked Robin if she tweeted to Wolfgang Puck on Twitter. Robin said she did that. Howard said she complained about him putting honey in his butternut squash soup. Howard said maybe he likes that. Robin said it's sweet already and you don't need more sweet. Robin said he could cook it a different way and not lose the sweetness. Howard said Wolfgang Puck blocked Robin after that.
Howard said she might be using this to get her book higher sales. Robin said she's just educating people about preparation of food. Howard said he's not going to argue with her about that. Howard asked if she has recipes in her book with honey in them. Robin said no but then said maybe she does. Howard said she does. Howard said he's going to say shame on her if she does.
Howard said he heard Jackie the Joke Man is going to come in and read from Robin's book. Robin asked if he did agree to do that. Gary said he is on Monday. He came in and said that Jackie torments him all the time. He said he had a typo in his email and he still goofs on him for typing in ''AMKE'' instead of ''MAKE'' in his email like 20 years ago. He said he's trying to help Jackie but he doesn't give a shit. Gary said he had a typo and Jackie just won't let it go. Howard said he hopes Jackie has learned one thing and that's not to put honey in your butternut squash.
Robin read about how kids who watch a lot of TV are putting their hearts at risk. Robin said 30-somethings can get stiffer arteries if they sit around watching TV.
Robin said Jenny McCarthy started at The View and they're saying that Barbara Walters and her co-hosts aren't happy with her. Robin said that can't do much for the confidence of the person who reads that. Howard said he heard that the ratings are doing fine. He said they didn't go way up or way down. He said no one was disturbed by it. Robin said this says that her co-workers aren't happy with her.
Robin said Elisabeth Hasselbeck is getting more viewers for FOX and Friends. Howard said he watches that show when they have a day off. Howard wondered why they got rid of Elisabeth from The View. Robin said she was the only conservative one on the show. She said she's not sure why they would get rid of her.
Robin said Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have been offered to host the Oscars for the next two years. Howard said they were good. Howard said he liked seeing Tina Fey's nip slip from the award show she was on. Howard said she has real nice nips. Howard said he thinks she's really hot and sexy. Fred agreed.
Robin read that Donald Trump is a grandfather again. Robin said that Ivanka had her second child. Howard said Donald's ex-wife is fucking a lot of guys. He said he sat next to them in a restaurant one night. He said he enjoyed watching the whole scene. Howard said that's weird when an older woman has a younger guy. He said it's fine when an older man has a younger woman. It's just weird when it's the other way around.
Robin said Beyonce has been holding back her latest music while other people are putting their albums out. Howard said that's smart marketing. He said you don't need to come out when they have a bunch of competition out at the same time. Howard said that's like when they have all of these movies come out at the same time. Robin said it's like that on TV now. They have all of this good stuff on Sunday nights. Howard said he records it all on TiVo. Howard said that Ray Donovan was a great show. He said Jon Voight was good and so was Liev Schreiber.
Robin read that Oprah Winfrey is one of the most trusted people in the country. President Obama was on the list in second place. Robin said Ellen Degeneres, Tom Hanks, Bill O'Reilly and others were on the list. Howard said that's such an idiotic question to ask. He said he doesn't trust celebrities. Howard said he trusts people he knows.
Robin read about the Dallas Cowboys being rated at number 1 or close to it as the country's most favorite team. Robin said the Green Bay Packers are in the top 5 as well.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he has a question to ask. He asked who is the most insane, Hanzi or Debbie the Pet Lady. Howard said Jeff is insane too. He said Jeff is in the Wack Pack so he's insane too. Howard said he threw his life away. He said he never went out and got a job. He said Hanzi is home with SSI and so is Jeff. Jeff said that's not the question. Howard said the only difference is that Jeff doesn't live at home with his parents. Jeff said he doesn't belong on meds. Howard said he self medicates by drinking. Jeff told him to stop. Howard said Jeff isn't allowed to goof on Hanzi and Debbie. He hasn't earned that right. Jeff said alright. He said he was just throwing it out there. Howard told him to throw himself out there. He told him to get out there and do his thing. He told him to stop goofing on people. Jeff told Howard to look at himself. Howard said he has a job and he's earned the right.
Robin said that a judge has ordered an investigation into Casey Kasem's medical care. Robin said the judge says that Casey needs a review instead of a conservatorship being named right away. Howard said he loves when that kind of stuff goes down. He said it's so interesting when a family fights in court over something like that. Robin said you don't like to see it happen. Robin said Casey was king of the world. Howard said he counted backwards and made a ton of money doing it.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown and had some audio of Nancy Pelosi talking about how hard they're working to come to an agreement. Robin said they say that food stamps are going to be cut off soon if they don't do something soon.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening to Riley and he's wondering if he's getting money from the government. He said people call in and blame Howard for Riley not making enough money and he agrees with them. Howard said they do that to get him all worked up. Howard said that it's one of those things to do to get him fired up. Howard did his impression of Riley going off on him about not giving him some of his own money. Howard said anything gay will set Riley off too. The caller said Riley also complains about not having enough time on the air so they should call Howard and ask him to give him more air time.
Howard read some email about the Medicated Pete Fine Time episode. Howard said that's up on the web if you want to watch it. Howard said this guy was sore from laughing at the episode. Howard said Pete may have written that email himself. Howard said that's the one where Pete ate the pastry and it's all over the place.
Robin read about the President meeting with the treasury secretary about our debt default if the debt ceiling isn't moved.
Howard said there are people who bash bands for no apparent reason. He said Nickelback is one of those bands. He said grand Funk Railroad was another band. Howard said one guy said that they didn't like Grand Funk Railroad because Mark Farner took his shirt off and made women swoon all over him. Howard said he's not sure about that.
Robin had some audio of Sylvester Stallone and David Letterman talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Robin said that Sylvester and Arnold have become friends over the years. They used to hate each other.
Robin read about a 38 year old teacher who was caught having sex with a 16 year old exchange student. Robin said the boy kept asking her for sex and she thought if she did it then he'd stop asking. Robin said that's ridiculous.
Robin had some audio of another teacher that slept with 15 and 16 year olds. Robin said she's going to jail for that. Robin had some audio of some of the parents commenting on what the woman did. Howard said it is wrong but he thinks it would have been a tremendous confidence booster if he had a teacher like that. Howard said he'd beg his parents not to take that away from him if he had that. He said he would tell them that he wants to be used.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said it's a great time to buy stocks. He said they're dipping now and they could go down even more. He said Netflix is one that he's looking at. He said he thinks it'll go right back up eventually though. Howard said Ralph does know about the stock market. Ralph said he's watching some things. Howard said he's like Rupert Murdoch but without money. Ralph said Piers Morgan was great. He said he had great stories. Howard said he is an interesting guy. Ralph said he bought Sirius stock before Mel Karmazin made his announcement. He said the SEC actually called him in about that. He said he only bought $3,000 of it and he would have bought more if he knew something. Howard said he didn't even know that Mel was coming over at the time.
Howard said he was never accused of anything. He said that someone did get in to some trouble for trading on that. He said he hates testifying over anything. He said he didn't have any success with that stock market crap though. He said that he can't figure it out.
Howard said he's always told to invest in the stock market and it'll perform over the years. He said he thinks that he'd be better off in a bank than with stock. Howard asked Fred if he invests. Fred said he doesn't really mess with it too much. Howard said maybe he should get into it himself.
Robin read a story about Cal Ripken's mother almost getting robbed at gun point. Robin said that the mother chased the guy off by hitting the alarm on her car.
Robin said they remade the movie Carrie. Howard said he doesn't care though. He said the first one was cool but he doesn't want to see another one. Robin said Chloe Grace Moretz plays Carrie in this new one. Robin had some audio of her talking about this part. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon went through some of the stuff that happened on the show today. He and Gary talked about Eric the Actor being on the show and Gary was saying that he thinks Howard should keep having him on.
Jon said he mentioned the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame list and Gary's favorite Hall and Oates is on the list this year. Gary said they've had a resurgence recently. They've been mentioned in movies and stuff recently. Gary said most of them are Jason Segel movies.
Jon said Howard was wondering about a few of the bands on the list. He said he hopes that Yes gets in. Gary said the Moody Blues didn't get on that list again. He said ELO has never been nominated.
Jon asked Jason about taking the heat for the Shatner recording thing. Jason said he has to apologize to the audience. He said they don't have a database for the lyrics hanging around. He said that he printed them off the internet and this is all his fault. Jason said that Shatner did ad-lib a bit. He said he understands the anger that's coming from the fans and from Howard. He said all he can do is say he's sorry. He said he wishes that he could blame someone for this since there were more eyes on it than just his. Jason said at the end of the day it's his responsibility. Jon asked how Jewel did it. Jason said he's not sure. He said if he had known that he was going to do this he would have had an intern transcribe it.
Steve Brandano said he, Gary and Fred tried to transcribe the lyrics and it was a tough thing to do. Gary said they had one word that was tough to figure out when they did that too.
Jon said Chubby Checker called in today and talked about The Twist being the number one song in the world. Gary said someone tweeted out today saying they thought Chubby has lost his checkers. He said if you want to hear the song The Twist then you can listen to it anywhere. He said they do play his song on the 50s channel. He said he's not going to want to hear it on the 80s channel or something like that. Benjy said that music is a money making thing and maybe that's why they don't play it. Gary said he's heard the song so many times in the past that he doesn't need to hear it because he may hear it at a wedding any time.
Jason said he thinks he heard a guy who thinks that he should be mentioned in the same breath as other musicians. He said what he would tell Chubby is that his song is still alive. He said he thinks that he's done it already and everyone knows that song.
Gary asked if Chubby belongs in the hall of fame. He said that he would compare him to Roger Maris who had a very finite time of greatness.
Jon said Chubby did a few follow up songs that he had success with. He said you can only come up with so many Twist songs though. The guys talked about the Limbo Rock song too.
Gary said he just found out that Roger Maris isn't in the baseball hall of fame. Gary said he was looking at the list of songs that Billboard has The Twist on and it has songs like the Macarena at number 7. He said Hey Jude is at number 9. He said he's sure a lot of people would agree that Hey Jude is better than the Macarena. Jason said that's all about sales and all of that. It's not about how good the song is.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he problem with the song is that everyone has heard it so much. He said Chubby should be happy that everyone knows the song. Gary asked if he's sick of hearing Hey Jude. The caller said no. Gary asked why he's sick of hearing The Twist then. The caller said it's just been played so much.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if they're blown away sometimes when they hear how clueless Howard and Fred are when it comes to music. Jon asked for an example. The caller said they were talking about Let it Loose and Fred played a song that was the wrong song. He said neither one of them knew what the song was. Gary said he knew one song that Howard and Fred didn't know. The caller said that's happened several times. Jason said some people sit back there saying that but some are just as clueless as Howard.
Jason said that a lot of the artists from the 50s and 60s didn't write their own music but they make it seem like that's the way it is today. Jason said he doesn't think it's that different today than it was back then. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he disagrees with Gary. He said he thinks that Hanzi is going to take Eric's spot on the show. He said he has the same kind of thing where he's ungrateful and he thinks that he's going to take Eric's place.
Benjy said he thinks that he has issues to work on but he has come on pretty strong over the past few months. He said that he's not sure if people really care about him. Gary said that he's not sure what he can do for him to help him. He said he has family so they're there for him. Benjy said he thinks that people act like they care about him just so they can make fun of him.
Benjy said he thinks that Hanzi knows what he's doing when he calls in. He said he's spoken to him about it and he knows he has some things that he has to take care of.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think Hanzi is putting this stuff on. Gary said he doesn't think so. Jason said that he does have moments of calm but then he has these outbursts.
Ralph called in and said he couldn't disagree with Benjy more about not caring. He said Howard is worried about this retard ranting. He said it's the same thing over and over again with him. He said the guy is an idiot if he thinks that Piers Morgan wasn't a good guest. Gary said he's trying to project a rational thought on an irrational person.
Ralph said he thinks that Hanzi could kill himself tomorrow. He said that he's not like Eric at all. Gary said he likes Eric on the show but in minor doses. Jason said that it can be overkill when Howard goes to him every morning for two weeks straight. Ralph said he can never get enough of that. Ralph said he loves when Howard has time to talk to Eric for a long time. He said he loves when he puts him on to ask celebrities questions too. He said they're always awful questions.
Gary said he loves when Howard picks up on Eric demands to be left on the air when they have a big guest coming in next. Ralph said Eric will want to talk about something ridiculous and they have a huge guest like Paul McCartney coming in.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Howard's statement about not having a brother growing up. He said that brothers aren't happy having brothers. Gary said he thinks that Howard only hears the stories about the brothers that people didn't like. Jason said that he's not sure his life would change that much if he didn't have his brothers. He said he knows that's horrible to say. He said they're all coming over for Thanksgiving. He said he loves his brothers but they remind him of the things he doesn't like about himself. He said his one brother and he didn't get along growing up at all. He said the other one was 7 or 8 years younger than him.
Jon asked if Jason has a favorite brother. Jason said he does. He has a favorite parent too. Jon said that Jason thinks you have to have a favorite kid too. Gary said he doesn't. Jason said bonds with his one brother more than the other. He said he connects with that one. Gary said that's not a brother though. Jason said it doesn't mean he doesn't love his brother though.
Jon said they might have to get some microphones at Jason's thanksgiving. Jason said he has a big table now so that might work. Jason said his wife wants to get a nativity scene for the house. He said they don't go to church and they don't celebrate. He said his wife wanted to get one of those menorah's to put in the window of the house. He told her no. Gary said he's going to get him one of those big ones you put on your lawn.
Gary said the other day he said he wasn't sure if Lucas was baptized. He said that he was thinking of communion so he said he wasn't sure. He said both of the kids were baptized and Jackson did communion. He said he stopped paying attention to all of that after that.
Jason said he can deal with Santa and all of that but the baby Jesus stuff he's kind of uncomfortable with. Gary said he used to put up the nativity scene every year for his parent's house. He said they had a whole set up but now he doesn't do any of that. They went to break a short time later. Jason threw in that he didn't mean anything with that brother discussion earlier.
Jon said Piers was talking about interviewing Robert De Niro and how tough that was. Jason said he thinks that this was his best appearance on the show so far. He said the past couple of times he was kind of adversarial. He said today was like a grown up conversation and it was great.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Jason what the joke is about Will and Pablo Francisco. Jason and Gary said that's an inside joke. Jason said that Will loves it when they play that clip. He said it makes Will happy so that's why they play it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he was Jason's brother can he and his other brother think Jason is an asshole. The guy came out of that voice and said he admires Jason for coming in and falling on that sword for what he did wrong. Jason said you have to take responsibility. He said nothing gets fixed and nothing changes if you don't. He said that's why Scott DePace is in there every few weeks arguing with someone. The caller said Jason could have made that go on for two weeks if he really wanted to.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard not getting angry at Jason is because it's a Jewish thing. Gary said it's probably more about his track record. He said Jason works really hard and he doesn't screw up much. Jason said he went in and took responsibility for it. He said Howard could have beat him up more over it. He said he does feel that there is a chance that this could fester and Howard could come in Monday with guns blazing at him. Jon said they had to end the show after that. They were done around 11:00am.