|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about the big storm that's hitting the east coast. Howard said that everyone left but he's there. Robin said he's the only one who can make it into work. Howard said they're off every day except the day everyone else is off. Howard said someone on Twitter pointed that out to him. Howard said everyone else is shut down but they're live. Howard said today they'll have over 100 million listeners.
Shuli was sitting in. Howard asked if his microphone was on because Scott didn't make it into work today. Howard said Shuli is joining them today. Howard said anyone can get in there if they want to. He said that the big storm is coming but it's not there yet. It's not even raining there yet. Robin said they say that the afternoon commute is what they're worried about.
Howard said he's predicting that nothing will happen and they'll downgrade it to high winds and rain. Robin said it is raining pretty hard in south Jersey. Howard said it's just rain. Robin said they're saying the rain was supposed to start Sunday but now they're saying the storm will get there around Midnight tonight. Howard said he was supposed to go to Robin's apartment yesterday but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to get there because of the storm.
Howard said he's very irritable again today. He said his thyroid might be sluggish and they want to give him some medication for that. Howard said he'd rather be sleepy though. He said that way he could get some sleep. Howard said all of the Stern family is known for sitting around and doing nothing. He said he could sit around and sleep like the rest of the family. He said his mom does that. Howard said they spend 90 percent of their time sleeping.
Howard said Robin has given good reviews to some crappy movies. He pointed those out to her and she's sticking to her reviews.
Howard said that was pretty funny. Howard had another audio clip from a baseball game where they screwed up the National Anthem. Howard played that clip and said it wasn't as bad as everyone was making it out to be. He said they were off key a bit. He said they blamed a bad microphone for the mix.
Howard asked Robin to sing with him so they could recreate that. They tried it and it did sound pretty bad. Robin mentioned that Demi Lovato had done the national Anthem and she sings like Jessica Simpson. That led to the guys talking about how Jessica Simspson's dad is gay now. They said that some guy came out and said that he was his gay lover or something and now they're saying that the father was with a 20 year old man.
Howard said that Meatloaf came out for Mitt Romney and he went berserk. Howard said he was trying to sing like the old days and it just didn't sound good. Howard played the audio of Meatloaf singing ''America the Beautiful'' and it was awful. Howard played some audio of that and said that the guy went berserk there.
Howard played some audio from the birthday party where they asked Jon to rap. In the clip Jon rapped about it being Ronnie's birthday. The rap wasn't all that great. Howard said the guy is on fire with that rapping.
Howard said Jon Leiberman made it into work today. He said the guy is super dedicated. Howard said he was sitting at his computer last night making arrangements about coming in. Howard said he got a text from Doug Goodstein about how all of In Demand is closed. Howard said he thinks that he's supposed to write to him and alleviate his guilt. Howard said Doug wants to be home running around with his family. Shuli said he left his family last night and got a room in the city. Howard said he had to make a decision for Doug. He said that the offices at In Demand don't matter to them. He said all Doug has to do is hit a record button.
Howard said he doesn't want anyone putting themselves in danger but if the weather isn't that bad then just come in. Shuli said they were calling it early and saying they weren't coming in. Howard said Tim asked if they were going to do the show and he said of course they are. Howard said Tim said he'd even get hotel rooms for people. Shuli said Tim got a room and he lives in the city.
Shuli said he saw Tim in line and Tim is so loud and obnoxious. He said he went to check in and Tim started yelling at this lady who cut in front of him.
Tim came in and said that he booked the room and used it so it wouldn't go to waste. He said that they don't do that for the In Demand people though. Howard asked if Doug is not there today. Tim said they are in media so they are there. Tim said this separates the men from the boys. Shuli said the real test comes later today. He said they're all risking getting stuck there. Howard said they're there doing the show and they're the only ones left.
Howard said he ate breakfast at home this morning because he heard everything was shut down. Howard said Gary ended up eating his breakfast because Will got it for him. He said that everyone was running out getting water and eggs and he has 3 eggs at home. He said he's so unprepared. Robin said someone should have gotten him some food.
Robin said they say that you should have one gallon of drinking water per day. She said you should have canned foods and first aid and flashlights. Howard said Beth did get flashlights. Robin said you should have a radio power by batteries. Howard said he'll just check his internet. He said he'd go insane if he didn't have TV. He said that they're in New York and they shouldn't lose power. Howard said he was thinking that they might lose it if they lose it upstate or something. Robin said the power stations are right there. Howard said he knows so little about that stuff. He said he has no idea where the power comes from.
Jason came in and said that they could lose power if the water gets to the underground power lines. Howard said he wants to know where the power comes from. Fred said it comes from thousands of miles away. Howard asked if they would lose power if New Jersey lost power. Fred said that the power comes from a few places so it might not affect it.
Howard said he thinks that they shut stuff down to prevent damage but there is no damage. Robin said she heard that the substations are also underground.
Gary said he lost power this summer for 2 and a half days because a squirrel went into a transformer. He said it's insane. Howard said that's like ducks that bring down planes. Howard said he meant geese. Robin said the substations that get flooded could cause problems.
Howard said they have like two boxes of spaghetti and they're planning on this thing just blowing over. Robin said that there are a bunch of things that they should have. Robin said that you should fill your tub with water. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. Gary said he took everything out of his yard yesterday. He said they have a trampoline and his wife was worried that it would blow away. Gary said if that thing blows away there's nothing they can do. Howard said they should take it down. He said it could end up going through the window. Howard said he learned from that TV show Revolution that the girls get hotter.
Gary said he expects to be without power for 7-10 days based on past storms. He said that the wires are all above ground and he guarantees that they'll lose power. Fred said Gary will probably get it back before his mother does.
Howard said they lose all of their guests today. He said Sour Shoes was supposed to come in. He won't be there. Tom Cotter was supposed to be there but he canceled. Russell Brand was supposed to come in tomorrow but he won't be in either. Howard said he was supposed to be on Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow but he's not sure if he'll make it. Howard said he went to dinner with Jimmy on Saturday night and he's bummed because this week of shows was scheduled for months. Howard said he told him to just calm the fuck down. Howard said Jimmy is all revved up about the shows. He said they moved the whole show to Brooklyn for a week and now he's in this storm. Howard said he didn't want to say anything to him but he might not make it. Gary and Robin said that they're saying that tomorrow is supposed to be the worst of everything. Gary said that's like prime time for the storm.
Howard said Jimmy is a dear friend and he doesn't want to die going to his show. Howard said he is happy to do the show under normal conditions but if it's crazy tomorrow then he may have to cancel. He said he feels bad for Jimmy but he doesn't know what to do.
Howard said he knows he's no with Tracy Morgan and someone else. He said that they have to wedge in a singer too. Gary said that's like the last 4 minutes of the show. Howard said he could have had 4 minutes more fun.
Howard said he's done Jimmy's show before but he'd like to be there live for the guy. Howard said he doesn't want to do it via satellite again though.
Howard said he would like to be there live but he can't imagine anyone is going to risk their lives to get there.
Debbie the Pet Lady called in and said that Howard shouldn't be there. She said there's a storm coming and ''Sarah'' is coming. Howard said he was able to get there in his car. He said that there's nothing that bad happening yet. Debbie said that the winds are so bad out there. She said her pool isn't even taken down yet. She said that she can't take a train or something. Howard said that the weather people make people panic over this stuff. He said she's all worked up and there's nothing even going on. Robin said she'd make a great weather lady. Howard said he thinks that she would.
Howard said they're going to have a weather show on today and High Pitch Eric is going to do a show. Howard had some audio of Eric doing a weather report on his Facebook page. Howard played the clip and Eric was talking about the storm and where it was going to be. He called himself a meteorologist. Howard said you can't just call yourself a meteorologist. Howard said they have that weather special coming up with John Bolaris and High Pitch Eric today.
Gary said that Richard called him this morning to tell him that the police came to his apartment and told hi he had to leave. He said they ignored the police and this morning they weren't running the elevators. Gary said Richard didn't leave because he didn't want to leave the pets behind. They have a fish and a hamster. Gary said that they should be able to leave those things alone for a week.
Howard said that he could have had a hotel room. He said he could have gone to the hotel and been there. Gary said that they were afraid of not being able to get back into their apartment.
Howard asked Debbie if she wanted to give the weather report. Debbie was busy doing something else. Howard tried to get her attention but she was yelling at someone else. There was a weird noise coming through on the phone and Howard wasn't sure what it was. Howard kept calling her name and wondered what she was doing. Shuli said that he thinks that she tried to hang up and she didn't hang up all the way. The guys could hear a bunch of pet noises in the background. They figured Debbie just forgot that she was talking to them. Howard said he's going to hang up.
Howard said Tim called him yesterday about the show and he told him that he didn't want to talk to the engineering department. He said Tim wanted him to talk about the contingency plan they had. Howard said he told him to just talk to Laura when they do that. Howard said Tim told him to do the show through his ISDN line if there's a complete disaster. Howard said he probably wouldn't have power if it was a complete disaster. Howard said he wouldn't be able to do the show that way. Howard said he told Tim that if it was nice enough out he'd be at work. He said that he tried to get to work and that's that. He said he shouldn't be bothering him at home like that.
Tim said that the conference call was going to be with Gary. Howard said that they should just assume that he's going to be at work. If he's not then he'll give them a call. Howard said if it's the apocalypse he won't have power like everyone else. Howard said Richard Christy is a fucking retard. He said he likes that Tim cares but he has to leave him alone about that stuff.
Howard said he's worried about Tim. He said first he shit all over the bathroom and then he broke his ribs. Howard said he's going through an old age crisis.
Shuli said he went out to dinner with Tim and you should have seen what he ate. He said he had matzo ball soup and then a huge sandwich. Tim came in and said he had just a little bit of the soup. He said he had the sandwich and a little bit of cheesecake. Shuli said Tim was telling the hotel guy that he was his life partner. He said they wanted to put him in a single bed in the hotel room. Tim was busy on his phone and not paying attention to the guy.
Howard explained what Tim's contingency plans were. He said he had the position of using the ISDN line or canceling this week and work Thanksgiving week. Howard said he laughed at that one. Howard said a real option is to just not do the show. He said that could have happened. Howard said that anyone who didn't need to be there didn't have to come in. Gary said he did goof on those people though. Howard said he told everyone that they don't have to come in if they don't have to. Howard said that Richard is retarded because of the reasons he didn't leave his building. Howard said he's retarded so how can he not goof on him.
Gary said that the hotel they're booked at is a pet friendly hotel so they would probably take fish and gerbils. Howard said he has to take a break. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked Fred what song he was playing. Fred told him what it was and Howard said that's her performance from their studio. Howard let the song play for a minute.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Howard said that he shot her for her book cover last week. He asked Lisa not to put his name all over the book when it comes out. She said that won't happen. Howard said that he had some good shots of Lisa and she has a big rack. Howard said that he told her she doesn't have to use the pictures but he thinks they look good. Howard said she was wearing a bra top and an open shirt and she has big fucking cans. Shuli told him to get out of there. He said she has to be at least a legitimate C. Howard said maybe it really is a D. Howard said there is tittie when she rips off her top.
Howard said he would love to show them just one picture. Lisa didn't want him to spoil it. Lisa said that Howard is so great as a photographer. She said that he was being very funny telling her to blow her cookies when he was doing the shoot. Howard said her book is called Sex Lies and Cookies. Howard said that she has to be sexual for the book if that's the name of it.
Howard brought up the pictures and asked which one he should show. Lisa told him to show the one with the little cookie in it. Howard said that it will take a second to bring it up. He said he's tapping into his computer.
Shuli asked if they heard that Gary was bothered by the whole thing. Howard said he did. He said Lisa knew too.
Howard brought up the shot and Shuli said that was unreal. He said that it looked like a completely different person. Howard said that he told her she should dress like that for work and she'd end up getting married. Lisa said they're real too. Shuli said that he was impressed. He wondered how she was hiding them.
Lisa said that Howard told her to get the boobs out when he was shooting her. Howard said that she told him she had a bad back and wasn't able to arch her back. He told her that he wanted to do some make up on her and play around with that. Howard said she told him her eyes were very sensitive. Howard said he didn't end up doing that. He said she wanted to do a lot more but she was worried about her sensitive skin. He said she complained through the whole thing.
Howard said he wanted to tie a scarf around her neck and she was saying she felt like it was too tight and she was being choked. Howard said it was unbelievable. He said he got worn out from her. Shuli said now he has a taste of what they go through in the news room. He said she'll gasp like something horrible is happening and then she'll say ''This non-fat yogurt has fat in it.'' Howard said she's more neurotic than he is. Lisa said she had fun. Howard said he's pleased with the photos. He wanted to show Shuli another one but Lisa wasn't happy. She eventually said okay to it.
Howard said that he put Lisa in a red wig at one point. Howard showed Shuli that one too. Shuli sounded impressed. Howard said he nailed that one. Lisa said that it was unbelievable. Shuli said if you told him 7 years ago that there would be a picture of Lisa he'd beat off to he would have said they were nuts. He said that's beat off material.
Howard said Lisa had about 10 outfits, the wig and more. Shuli said that he can't stop thinking about those tits. He said that's all he can think about now that he's seen them. Howard said that Lisa was talking about keeping bras that she bought and he thought she was out of her mind. Lisa said that the way they make lingerie is amazing. Howard showed Shuli a bunch of the shots. Howard kept going and Shuli kept saying ''Wow!'' and ''Holy crap!'' when he'd see them.
Lisa asked if Ronnie would make her Hot Chick of the Week. Howard said he'll show Ronnie and ask him. Howard showed him the pictures and Ronnie said ''Holy shit!'' Howard said that he was shocked too. He said she's all turned on in some of these shots. Howard showed Ronnie some of the pictures. Howard had to tell Jason to not take a picture.
Lisa said she wants to be Hot Chick of the Week next year when her book comes out. Ronnie said this is impossible. He said that she has cleavage. Shuli asked if he ever thought that was under what she wears. Ronnie said ''Hell no.'' Ronnie asked if anyone is biting on those things. Lisa let out a ''Oh my god!'' She said she thinks that she's doing fine with those things at her age. Howard said she has the chest of a 20 year old. Howard said he didn't have to change anything for her. Howard said they were in a bra the while time but still.
Lisa said they used to be bigger when she wasn't as athletic as she is now. Howard said she is neurotic though. He said she was going nuts over her eyes and all of that.
Howard asked Lisa what's in the news. Lisa said they have a special hurricane special today. She said that they will have Jon Leiberman, John Bolaris and more people like High Pitch Eric, Medicated Pete and Bobo. She said that Medicated Pete has been evacuated from his bungalow at the Jersey Shore. Howard said he saw the Howard TV special about Pete and you have to see it. He said that should be going up there soon. Howard said it's unbelievable where he lives. He said it's behind a bar and it's a place you've never seen before. Howard said he lives with his dad Pete Sr. and it's just wild. Howard said Kathy Tobin works at the library he goes to and it's just crazy stuff. He said it's a very hard hitting special.
Lisa said that Bobo has talked about protecting his shrine. She said that Richard Christy is afraid that his favorite holiday is going to be ruined because of the storm. Howard said Ronnie isn't wearing a suit today because of the storm. He said casual Ron showed up today. Howard said nothing has happened and he's running around in his jeans. Howard said he was wondering why today he's not in a suit. He said everything is topsy turvy.
Ronnie came in and asked why he would get dressed up if it's going to pour later. He said he's not ''rock and roll'' today. He said he has a nice shirt and jeans on. Howard pointed out his ripped jeans. He had his walkie talkie tucked into his back pocket. Ronnie said it's always there but you don't see it because his jacket covers it. He said that Leiberman is out there wearing his mom jeans. Howard said Ronnie is doing the same thing. Ronnie said he's got Timberlands on and Leiberman had some other funny looking things on.
Ronnie's walkie talkie went off so Howard had him talk to the guys. He did that for a second and then Jon Leiberman came in. Ronnie said that his grandmother used to wear boots like Jon has on. Jon said they're called Duck Shoes and his jeans are Express jeans. Shuli said that he thought Express was a store for fat chicks. Howard said Ronnie has a Yosemite Sam moustache but he's laughing at Jon. Jon said he doesn't know what's so funny. He said that his belly isn't hanging over. He said Jason called him fat the other day and he's just going to call him slim all the time.
Howard asked Jon why Lisa can't talk about her photo shoot. Jon said she never talks about her boobs but when they do she just takes it. Ronnie was laughing hysterically at the whole thing. Jon said he was saying that she should take off her top in the studio to prove her size once and for all. Howard said he saw them and photographed them. He swears it was her. Jon said he would like to see a picture. He said he wanted the facts. Howard told him to hold on. He called him over to show him off camera. Jon saw the picture and said it looked like a glamour shot. Howard said it is. He said he did a sideways clamshell lightning set up. Jon said she looked beautiful in that picture. He said he stands corrected. Howard said they are not retouched boobs.
Jon said he wants to know if those sex stories are real. Howard said Lisa was trying to tell him about her book but he told her to shut up and pose. He said she thinks he cares what's in her book. Jon said this is what they deal with for 10 hours a day in the news room. Howard said he had her just quiet down so he could do the shoot. He said she complied. Howard said that she looked very good too. Ronnie said that Leiberman is obsessed with Lisa.
Dave said he wants to give Sarah Silverman a call and gnaw on her beaver like a dog on a rawhide shoe. Howard asked Dave how he says ''gnaw'' and Dave didn't know how to say it. He didn't say it right the first time he read his line. Howard said Dave can't read.
Howard asked Dave what he's going to do if the weather is bad on Wednesday. Dave kept changing subjects and saying things about Jimmy. Jon Leiberman said this is when they need power outages. Dave kept screwing up his lines so they were goofing on him about that.
Howard asked Dave if he had his glasses on. Dave said it must be the storm. Howard asked Robin if she had anything to add. Robin said she's afraid.
Dave said that he's going on Jimmy's show because he has no life since he stopped fucking his interns. Howard said that he knows Jimmy loves him. Dave screwed up another line. Howard said it might be time to go. Howard said he knows Jimmy wants to be like Dave. Dave said he heard that Jimmy was trying to hammer a gap in his teeth to be just like him.
Dave said when he goes on Jimmy's show he's going to ask him about John Ritter. He said he loves watching queers cry on TV. Dave said he will also ask him what Dave ''Etters'' cum tastes like. Howard said that's Dave Attell. Howard asked if he ever thought about reading the script first. Dave said maybe he should take a break. Howard said that's a good idea. He went to break a short time later.
Howard said Shuli has a blog coming up soon too. He said that he writes about the way he used to call into the show and his love of the show. Howard said that you realize that Shuli is like Bobo but with a little bit higher IQ.
Shuli told Howard his mother heard him talking to Dr. Ruth in Hebrew. He asked her what she thought and she said that Ruth is a disgusting person. He said he's not sure what her problem is with her.
Howard said that Evil Dave is back. He said they were talking to Dave about Jimmy Kimmel earlier. He said that he wants to know what the contingency plan is if he has to bail out on the show. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said she doesn't think that Jimmy is planning on not taping shows. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on.
Evil Dave said that he found that when you bang one intern in the driveway then your whole world goes to shit. Howard said Dave is much more outspoken on this show than he is on any other show. He said he should talk like this on Kimmel.
Dave told Howard he's going out on Halloween as a gay vampire. He's going to George Clooney's party for Halloween. Dave said he's going to bite his balls and suck his penis.
Dave and Howard talked about Paul Shaffer's retirement and things like that. Dave had a bunch of lines written for him and he was getting through them a little bit better now. Dave said he wants to change his name to Kennedy so he can push women down the steps and drown them. The only downside is that you get shot once in a while.
Howard and Dave talked about Obama and the Kardashians. Dave was starting to get some of his lines wrong again. Dave was in the room with Abe Kanan who said that Dave has been eating a lot of free food there. He said that he was asking the whole ride there if he had the free chips. He said he keeps taking them and putting them in his pockets. Abe told him to open up his bag so they could see how many he had. He said there were like 7 bags. Dave said that he'll give them out to the trick or treaters.
Howard asked Dave about his sex scandal and how he's doing with that. Dave said he's hanging in there. He said he thinks it's fine that he wears a condom. He said if he needs any he has a ton in his fuck room. Abe told Howard that he and Dave went over his lines before the show and he was fine. Howard said he blames Abe for all of this.
Dave said he thinks that Will Murray should dress up like the invisible man so we can all pretend he doesn't exist just like Howard.
Abe told Howard that he had to pick up Dave in front of a Jiffy Lube. He said he won't let him know where he lives. He said he won't even give him his number. He said you have to call an 800 number and they take your number asking who you're trying to call.
Howard had Dave try another line. Dave read his line but he screwed it up so Howard said he has to go. Howard wished Abe luck getting him home. He told Dave to leave some of those chips there. Dave blamed his line screw up on a misprint.
Dave asked Howard if he's ever had an insect climb up his erect penis. He said it's a thrill. He said that he also decorated his fuck room with his own semen so it has an eerie glow to it. Dave also said that he's going to go as the office wall that Tim Sabean shit on as a Halloween costume. Howard said that sounds great. He let Dave go a short time later. Howard said that he loves this guy Abe. Abe is on Saturday evenings on Howard 101.
Dave had a few more lines he read. Howard said Dave is coming out and endorsing Obama this morning. Dave said he is. He had some lines about that and asked Robin some questions. Dave had some lines written about Sour Shoes too but Howard told him that he didn't make it in so those lines weren't working. Then he said something about a ''broukay monsoon'' and Abe said he's actually trying to say ''Bukakke.'' Abe said they went over the lines like 100 times and he still got it wrong.
Howard asked Dave if he had anymore to day. Dave said that if he ever has Arnold on the show again he should be careful. Howard wrapped up with him and gave Dave some plugs for his late night show. Dave read another line that was one of his own and Abe told Howard he told him not to read those lines. Dave had written something that he wasn't even able to pronounce. Howard said that he's glad he braved the storm to come in for this. Howard thanked Abe for the help. Howard said that's worse than when Shuli used to have to carry Beetlejuice around to the shows.
Shuli said that he used to have to talk Beet out of wanting to walk home from shows in Texas. Shuli said Beet would go into a room and touch things and he'd have to keep a list of things not to touch. He said Beet was great when he was sober but when he was drunk he would do some crazy things. He said Beet would take showers so long that you'd think the bathroom was on fire from the steam coming out. He said if Beet showered he wouldn't shower himself. He said he would get loaded and get mad at everyone and he'd have to sleep in the same room with the guy.
Shuli said Beet would get violent and he didn't want to fight the guy so he would let him roam. He said he'd stay with him and not let him be alone. He said one day Beet came back one day after going out alone and he had a tattoo of Howard on his arm. He said people would sell him things that he didn't need. He said Beet was sold a phone once. He said he went out to buy a pair of shoes once and the guy sold him socks and spray to keep his feet smelling good.
Howard said last week a cop was accused of wanting to kill and eat some women. Howard said he's not surprised that New York cops want to eat us. He said that if cops would just go after bad guys and do that he'd be all for it. Howard said the idea of hurting innocent people is what bothers him. He said that they want to eat us because all we do is complain about them. Howard said this guy was married for about a year and his wife goes on his computer and finds that he has a bunch of guys that he talks to about cooking women. Howard said the story goes that this wife saw the discussion going on about the women this guy has targeted and he's talking about how good the meat is going to be. He said the whole plot is so weird. He said that he wants to shove them in an oven alive and hear them screaming as he cooks them. Howard said they'd be alive when he cooks them.
Shuli said the guy said that he would get off on knocking them out while the other guy fucks them. Howard wondered what's going to stop the guy from saying he was just writing a book or something. Robin said that's what the Pete Townshend excuse was. Howard said he can't wait to read his book. He said the excerpt he read was pretty good.
Gary wondered why he shouldn't be home to take care of the flooding. Howard said he doesn't understand why he wouldn't just bring his wife and kid to the city. Gary said that he wants to be there if it starts flooding or a tree falls on it. Howard said he's going to make every effort to get there. Howard asked who else is going to be there if he gets there. Robin said she thinks Gary should be there. Gary said he doesn't have a staff to watch his house like Howard and Robin do. Gary said it's rude for Robin to say that he should just leave the house.
Gary and Howard argued about the way Howard said that he can't depend on Gary. Howard said that he wants to know if he can depend on him being there tomorrow. Gary said that he can't. He said he thought that he was saying he can't depend on him... period. Howard said he was asking about tomorrow. He asked Gary what he's going to do. Gary said he's going to be with his family at his house. He said he's not leaving his house. He said he wants to be in his house with his family. Robin asked if he ever leaves his house unattended. Gary said he does but not during a storm. Gary said that they're saying that they could have people without power for up to two weeks when this storm goes through.
Howard said Gary should have just said he can't be depended upon tomorrow. Howard asked who he can depend on being there. Shuli said yes to him when asked. Howard asked if he's going to be attending to his home. Shuli said that his wife will be taking care of the home. Gary asked if he's in an apartment. Howard asked why he's attacking him when he says he wants to work. Gary said he's going to leave. Howard asked Shuli if he will be there. Shuli said nothing will stop him from being there.
Fred said he will be there tomorrow. He said he doesn't have the problem that Gary has. Howard asked Benjy if he'll be there. Benjy said he will. Howard said Robin will be able to broadcast too. Howard said he can't depend on Gary but Fred, Benjy and Shuli will be there. Howard said Gary looks like he's about to cry. Gary said he's fine.
Howard said Gary is like a maniac. He said he needs to know who is going to be there. Gary said he wants to make it sound like he doesn't care about his job. Gary said he cares more about his wife and kids than he does about his job. Howard said Gary doesn't have to go that far. He said he just wanted to know if he was going to be there tomorrow. Howard said he has to plan for tomorrow. He said Doug isn't there today. Gary said Gange is directing the show today. Howard said he's not sure why they have all of these other people there then. He said they seem to be handling it just fine.
Howard and Gary kept arguing about the way he asked the question about depending on him being there. Gary said he could have asked if he was going to be there. Howard said he could have just said no and left. He said he stands there arguing instead. Howard said he looks like a buffoon when he does. Gary said he doesn't think so.
Howard asked Gary if he had any trouble getting in there today. Gary said he didn't. He said he has to get up and make the decision based on the weather.
Howard asked Tim if he's going to be there tomorrow. Tim said he will be and if Gary isn't there then they'll make due. Tim said that he will be there. Howard said that's all he wanted to know. He said it's not an attack.
Gary said that he has told Jon Leiberman about the microphones that they use in there and how he has to use them. Earlier in the show Jon had put the headphones on backwards.
Howard asked Jason if he can depend on him to be there tomorrow. Jason said his answer is the same as Gary's answer. Howard took that as a no. Howard asked Jason if he's in a bad area. Gary said that he's in a mandatory evacuation area but they aren't listening to the evacuation warning.
Howard asked Will if he will be there tomorrow. Howard said Gary is all upset about this. He said he knows JD will be there. Will came in and said if he needs them to be there then he'll be there. He said his wife and child are his priority. He said he will be there if he needs him. Howard said everyone has to make their own decision. He said if they feel threatened by the storm then they don't have to come in. Will said that he has to say no then. He said that he didn't say he won't be there but he can't say he will definitely be there.
Gary asked Howard if he would leave Beth at the house at the shore alone. Howard said Beth is with him. He said he brought her there. Gary said he doesn't have the choices that Howard has. Howard said he doesn't know why he's attacking him. He said he's not angry with him. He said he just asked if he can depend on him to be there. He said all he had to do was say no. Howard said he wrote on Moldred last night that he will carry on.
Gary said Howard has made fun of the people who didn't come in today. Howard said it looks a little weird to him that they didn't even try to come in when there is nothing keeping them from trying. Howard said that the weather hasn't even gotten there yet. Gary said that they were afraid that they might get stuck in the city.
Howard said this whole thing is weird to him because they didn't get the weather that they thought they were going to get. Howard said that he told Robin that they should just get up in the morning and see what happens. He said John Bolaris is scaring the shit out of his wife. He said he wants him to forget his wife's number. Howard said he told him to stop it but he keeps going. He said he heard that Jon is there so he wants him to come in so he can boot him out. Howard said these guys are making people paranoid. He said they do all of this to get ratings.
Gary asked John why he texts Beth and not everyone else. John said that he doesn't have Gary's number. Howard said he doesn't know why he has Beth's number.
Howard asked John what's going to happen. John said it's what they call ''The perfect storm.'' He said it's a bunch of rare atmospheric conditions that are going to combine. He said the winds will ramp up today and they will be gusting at 70-75 MPH. He said that southern Manhattan will flood out. He said that the FDR Drive will be under 4-6 feet of water by tonight. John said they are evacuating and they haven't seen anything like this since 1992. He said that nothing like this has ever been predicted either. Howard said he thinks that the predictions are too much and they're making too much out of it. He said if they're right he'll have to deal with it and texting his wife isn't going to help. John said that they're going to have record setting flooding. He said that they'll have tidal surges.
Robin asked if they're okay to broadcast. John said that they may lose power but if they don't they'll be fine. He said that there are places that could lose power and Manhattan may have scattered outages. Howard said if he was the mayor he'd build something to make power right there in the city.
John said that this could go down as the worst storm on the east coast. He said that south of Canal could be shut down and they could have problems with the subways. Howard said he's coming to work tomorrow. John said that Howard will be fine because he's in a safe zone. He said there are people who won't be in a safe zone. Howard said America will be happy as long as they can do a show. Howard said his listeners only care about him.
Howard said he heard John has a hot girlfriend. John said she is sweet. Shuli said that she was at the block party. John said he brought her with him so she wouldn't have to be alone. Howard saw her and said that she was hot. Howard asked how he got her. John said she's a sweetheart. He said that she's 20 years younger than him. Howard said he always has a hot girlfriend. John said he likes beautiful women. He said she's got a beautiful soul too. He said that marriage could be in the future. She works in sales. Howard asked what she sells. She said it's tile and natural stone. Howard said he needs some of that. Gary said he's pretty sure he needs that for his house.
Howard asked how John met this girl. She said they met through mutual friends. John said he had a dinner party at his apartment and they were both dating someone else. He said they felt a connection and they started dating.
Howard asked what her name is. She said it's Erica. Howard told John to propose now. They played some wedding music and John started talking about how they could see marriage in the future. John asked Erica if she would marry him. She said she would. They kissed after that. Gary said this would be in the paper tomorrow if there wasn't a storm. Shuli said that High Pitch Eric is going to be so jealous.
Howard congratulated John and Erica. Howard said that he's a great weather man. John is the real deal. John said he got his training while he was in the air force. He said he has flown into the eye of storms. He said in 1987 he broadcast live from a C-130. Howard said that Erica was just proposed to. He said that she must want to set a date. Erica said she didn't want to do that right now.
Howard said he can't depend on Gary tomorrow. He said that John Bolaris will be doing two shows on Howard 101 starting at 4pm. Gary came in and said that he just wants to say that this isn't an easy decision to make for him. Howard asked how they got back on this. Howard said he's just talking to the people who are going to be there tomorrow. Howard said Gary keeps interrupting.
Gary said he's not saying he won't be there. Howard said it would be funny if Gary showed up tomorrow and he didn't. Gary said that happened one year when they had a snow storm. He said he was the one who made it in and ran the Best of Tapes. Howard said now that Gary is gone they can talk about doing the show.
Howard said he made reference to the scientists in Italy who were jailed for not predicting an earthquake. Howard said that they're all shaking in their boots there now.
Howard said he's still not sure what will happen with Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow. Howard said that he will just say no if he's asked if they can depend on him being there. Howard said he doesn't have to go into a huge explanation like Gary did. Howard said that all of the anger came pouring out of Gary when he brought it up. He said Jimmy isn't mad at him for saying he may not be there.
Gary was going off on Shuli for missing a bunch of days and almost getting fired. Shuli said that Gary is still on the attack. He said he doesn't know why he's attacking him.
Howard said that he was out with Jimmy on Saturday night and Jimmy was wondering what he had prepared for her show. Howard said he figured he'd just go on and have a conversation. Howard said he had nothing prepared. He said he doesn't know what he's expecting. Howard said he wants to go on the show but he's not sure what this storm is going to do. Howard said all of his guests canceled.
Howard said he's afraid to ask JD about what he should do on Jimmy's show. Howard said he had a weird idea for him to do a bit. He said it was something about scaring someone in a closet or something. JD came in and said that it was based off a bit where Ellen scares her guests. He said that Dave could have done that bit with Howard. Howard said that's such a weird suggestion. He said that's not what they do on Dave's show. JD said it was just a comedy bit that he wrote and it wasn't supposed to actually happen. Howard asked JD if he can depend on him being there tomorrow. JD said he can't get home so he'll be there. Howard said JD lives in the evacuation zone 365 days a year.
Howard said he read that Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed on to be in another Conan movie. He read that Sandy could cause tens of dollars worth of damage to his shrine. He heard that he left a message for Gary and he's stockpiling hair glue and toilet paper.
Howard asked Ronnie if he's going to be there tomorrow. Ronnie said if he can get into the city he will. He said he's not staying in the city. Howard told Ronnie to spend a night in the hotel. Ronnie said he has dogs there. Howard said he should stay in the city. Howard told him to find someone who lives in the city who can get him to work. Shuli said that he'll pick Howard up as well. Howard told Ronnie to find someone. Ronnie said he has to work on it and find someone. Howard said Ronnie wouldn't have worked on it if he hadn't told him to. Ronnie said that he would have. Shuli said Ronnie is dressed like Buddy Lee. Ronnie had no idea who that was. Shuli said that's a character on TV that sells jeans.
Howard said JD had some other ideas for him to do on Letterman. He said he had him doing fantasy football picks. JD said that he knew Howard wouldn't know what it is but it could have been funny. Howard said that's thinking way outside the box. JD said he had an idea and he put it out there. Howard thanked him for that. He said that's all of the help he gets.
Gary said he's not ready to go home. He said he can be depended upon to finish the show today. He said he's no KC. Howard said he thinks he should go home now because it could get bad rapidly. Gary said that John Bolaris thinks the worst is coming today at 2. Howard said he should hurry home now. Fred kept playing a car peeling out clip like Gary was rushing out of there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he lives two towns away from him and things aren't bad at all. He asked if he's talked to his parents yet. Howard said he did. He said that he called his mom on his cell phone and she couldn't hear him. Howard said he asked how she's doing and she said that she's fine. Howard said there's really nothing he can do if something happens to their house. Shuli said Gary has web cameras on his house at all times so he could be watching the place all the time.
Gary came in and said that he's back. He said he threw the asshole hook in the water and he bit. He said he wasn't going to bite but he did. Howard said if he's going home he should go now. Howard said he's just trying to figure out what he's doing tomorrow.
Howard had to let the caller go because he couldn't understand what he was saying. Howard took another call from a guy who thanked him for making it out all the time. He said Howard was there on 9/11 an 9/12. He said that he's not sure why Gary can't make it in tomorrow. He said that he should get his wife and kids and go to the hotel. Howard said maybe they should cut down their trees now. Gary said that the other thing that could happen is that the gutters get stopped up with leaves. Howard told him to get those things that cover the gutters. Gary said they don't work. Howard said they do work because he has them on his house.
Howard said he's in a meeting with Shuli, Fred, Benjy and Robin. He told Gary to get out of there. The caller said he will be at Kimmel tomorrow if Howard is there. Howard said you can't depend on him to be there. Howard said they should go to break so they can get out of there at 10. He said that he's worried about Gary getting home. Howard and the guys goofed on Gary some more about Gary heading home to save the wife and kids. They were making it like the movie ''Titanic'' with the music and story. they were all goofing on Gary about his teeth being used as flotation devices.
Howard said Gary just started yelling at him instead of just saying no when he asked if he could depend on him. He said all he had to do was say no. Howard said he guesses that Shuli and Fred have a staff to take care of their stuff like he and Robin do. Howard and the guys kept goofing on Gary about all of that. They were making up lyrics for the Titanic theme song.
Gary said that DePace just called and said he wanted it to be known that he was ordered to stay home. Howard said that's Doug Goodstein. Howard said he told him that the offices were closed but that has nothing to do with their show. Howard said Doug isn't there and nothing is going on with the weather. Howard wondered why Doug would tell Scott not to come in. Howard said Scott is useless anyway because Gange is there doing his job. Gange said he's missed a couple of shots but he's holding it in. He said his camera guy with a broken hand is there. He said he thinks that the executives are the ones who didn't want them coming in today. Gary said he heard that the lawyer's rap was that they didn't want someone hurt coming into work. Howard said that's what he told their guys. He said he will be there and the rest of them don't have to be there. Howard said they're going to take a break, do the news and get out of there.
Howard came back and said that Gary is all rattled. He said he's not sure why. He said he's his biggest supporter. Howard said Gary is really rocked. He said he asked for a list from him and he's really out of it.
Howard said it's time for news. He said that today is a big day for news. Howard said that last week Lisa G got a hold of Regis Philbin to ask about presenting an award to Gary soon. He said that Regis isn't that familiar with Gary so Lisa told him some things about him and she was giving him the worst things about him. She told Regis about Gary's Baba Booey screw up, his big teeth, how he looks like a monkey and things like that. Gary said now Regis thinks that he's an asshole. Howard asked Gary if he said anything to her. Gary said he didn't. He said that's just part of being there. Howard did his Lisa G voice and added that Gary isn't dependable either. Howard also brought up the trampoline that Gary has in his back yard and wondered why he wouldn't remove that. Howard said that thing is going to be flying around if he doesn't do something about it.
Robin started her news with a story about Gary Glitter getting into some trouble again. Robin said that he went to jail for child molestation in another country and now he's out of jail and might be drawn into another scandal in England. Howard had Gary Glitter's song playing in the background with some hurricane wind sounds. Robin said that he's accused of abusing a girl in England and he was questioned and released in London. Robin said this was back in the 70s that he allegedly did this.
Howard said in the email someone asked if there is any TV show that Robin doesn't watch. Robin said she's watching just about everything.
Howard said that he got an email from someone saying that he has to stop saying ''the n-word'' and just use the word. Howard said that the person said he's a fag for not using that word. He said he's not comfortable saying the word all the time. He said he might use it when he's talking about someone who named their dog ''Nigger'' but he won't use it all the time. Howard said this guy says that the crew working on the Hoover dam had a dog named Nigger and they put up a plaque when the dog died. Howard said they eventually removed the plaque and renamed the dog ''Little Nig.'' Howard said he's kind of glad that the rewrote history. Howard said he doesn't think there should be a plaque that says ''Nigger'' on it. Robin said she doesn't like the changes.
Howard said that a lot of people liked Katy Sagal on the show last week. Someone thought she had the same tone as Robin does.
Howard said a lot of people liked the fart porn that they played last week. Howard read through that and also some email about the Howard Stern musical. Howard said they're working on more numbers for the musical and they're not just fucking around. He said they're really going to do a Broadway show. He said he has another one where Tim shits all over the bathroom and starts singing. Howard played that song and he was singing about the shit on the walls to the tune of ''Tomorrow'' from the play Annie. Howard said his parents have a part in the play too. He played that song and it was to the tune of ''Gangnam Style'' with clips of his mom and dad in the song. Howard said this song is called ''Howard's Nightmare.'' Howard read a live commercial and then went to break.
After the break, around 9:35am, Robin got back to her news and read a story about Paul McCartney coming out to defend Yoko Ono saying that she did not break up the Beatles. Robin said he did an interview with David Frost and in that interview Paul said that she didn't break them up. Robin said that Lennon was going to leave the group one way or another. Robin said that Paul does say that Yoko sitting in on recording sessions was difficult though.
Robin read about Whitney Houston's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, possibly getting her money earlier than she was supposed to. She said that she's going to get about $20 million. Robin said she missed the first episode of her show. Howard said he TiVo'd it but then just deleted it without watching. He really didn't care. Robin asked if he tuned into Honey Boo Boo. Howard said he hasn't seen the show yet but it seems like child abuse to him. Robin said the whole family dynamic is fascinating. Howard said he said it was like child abuse and they had a newscast where the reporters were arguing with each other over it. Howard could hear Robin's cats meowing so he asked what was wrong with them. Robin said they're outside of the room and someone must be out there bothering them.
Gary told Howard that the power has been out at his house since 6:15 this morning. Howard said he should go home now. Gary said that he should be able to get out of there by 11:15 so he'll be fine.
Howard said this one woman was saying that she agrees with him on the Honey Boo Boo thing. Howard said he was the one who oiled the hill for all of this stuff to happen though. Howard said he was attacked for that. Shuli said Howard never exploited kids though. Howard said that's true. Howard played the audio of this woman talking about what he said and how she agrees with him but he's the one who brought the oil to the slippery slope that we're going down. Howard said he hasn't seen the show but he did see Honey Boo Boo on Dr. Phil or one of those shows. Robin said the show is probably one of the worst things she's ever seen. Howard said he was talking to a friend who is a big fan of the show and she feels that the family is very loving. He said that was her point of view. Robin said the only way you can enjoy the show is if you want to feel better about who you are. She said you're in bad shape if you feel that you have to do that. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about a couple who lost their children to a nanny who killed them and then tried to kill herself. Howard said he read that on the same page as the cop who wanted to eat people. Howard said that's some scene. Robin said the Nanny has finally woken up and they had to wait for that before they could question her. Robin said that she stabbed herself in the throat. Robin said no charges have been filed yet but she must have been the one who killed the kids and then tried to kill herself. Robin said they say that she loved the kids and this was very unlike her. Howard said we don't have strict enough laws with mentally ill people. Robin said she had a child of her own and the 10 year old can't believe his mother did this. Howard said that a rational person who can't stand taking care of kids wouldn't go into that line of work. Howard said there's no telling what was going through her head. Howard said that she'll end up spending the rest of her life in a nice hospital room. Howard said she won't go to jail. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about the evacuations going on up and down the east coast. Robin said that many businesses are closed down today too. Robin said that they're saying this is a life threatening storm. Howard picked up on Debbie the Pet Lady who said that this storm is very dangerous. She was screaming and ended up hanging up on herself. Howard said he did not hang up on her. Shuli said she's in the eye of the mental illness storm.
Howard said that High Pitch Eric will be part of the weather show they have coming up today. Howard had him on the line too. Eric said he'll be reporting from the Bronx and Bobo will be calling in and so will Mariann.
Eric asked Howard if he's doing Kimmel tomorrow. Howard said he wants to do the show but if the storm is bad he may not be able to make it. He said if the storm is as crazy as they say it's going to be he may not be able to make it. He said he will make every effort to make it though. Eric said all of his fans will be there. Howard said they don't know that they're going to be there. Howard said they can't depend on Gary to be there tomorrow so we're not sure about anyone else.
Robin read more about this storm and Howard asked if he'd even be able to get to Brooklyn tomorrow. Robin said they could close down the bridges. Howard said he's sure no restaurant is going to be open tonight and he's supposed to go out to dinner with his old high school friend Marty. Howard said he'll call him and let him know. Howard said he lives in Arizona so he's not sure if he'll be able to go out with him. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read more about the hurricane and how President Obama is rearranging his schedule to get back before the storm hit. Robin said he's just like Gary. That led to Gary, Fred and Shuli all doing their Gary impressions. Robin had some Mitt Romney audio clips to play too.
Robin read about John Voight showing up to help the Mitt Romney campaign take calls. Robin had some audio of Voight talking about why he's backing Romney. Robin said Kelsey Grammer and John Ratzenberger were also helping out the campaign. Robin had some audio of Magic Johnson talking about why he's backing Romney. She had some audio of Stevie Wonder's new song he released for Romney. Howard said it makes him angry when he puts out new songs. Howard said the song is too literal. Howard wondered where Jay Thomas is in all of this. He was on Cheers like Kelsey and John Ratzenberger were. Shuli said that Jay flip flops on all of this a lot so he's not sure where he stands.
Robin read about Todd Aiken, the guy who said that ''legitimate rape'' line a while back, and how he's still got a chance to win in his election. Howard said he can't believe that.
Robin read about the World Series and the MVP player being named. Robin had some audio of the player talking.
Howard talked about how he wants to go see Jimmy Kimmel but he's not sure if he will. He said he's not sure if David Letterman is going to make it either. Robin said tonight he's supposed to have Chris Rock and Alicia Keys on the show. Howard said he doesn't think Chris will make it. He said Alicia Keys probably will because she wants that attention. Howard said tomorrow is going to be the worst of the weather so he's not going to die for Jimmy.
Robin said that Madonna is going to be on Ellen this week and Madonna's 12 year old son comes with her. She had some audio of the kid talking about his mom. Howard said that's pretty cool she got Madonna's son on the show.
Robin read about the number 1 movie at the box office being Argo. Robin said that it made it to the top of the heap pulling in $12 million. Robin read through the rest of the top 5 movies at the box office. Howard went into his Gary impression again and goofed on him about the trees in his yard falling. Howard and Shuli goofed on Gary for a couple more minutes about the storm and how he has to get home to protect his house.
Robin said that she's not sure how Gary is going to protect his house. Gary asked if she's serious about that. Howard kept doing his impression of Gary and goofing on him while Robin and Gary were arguing. Robin said in a terrible storm there's nothing you can really do to protect the house. Howard, as Gary, was arguing with the real Gary and giving him advice on how to protect the house.
Howard said Gary is Mr. Prepared with the trampoline in the back yard. Shuli said a few lines that Gary didn't find funny. He told Shuli to feel free say something funny at any time. Shuli did his Gary voice and said that picking on someone beneath him is a good idea. Gary said he heard that the Connecticut highways are being shut down at 1. Howard told him to leave now. Gary said he can make it through the Wrap Up Show and then leave. Howard wrapped up and said he's going to make every effort to be there tomorrow. Fred, as Gary, said ''Not me!'' They ended the show around 10:15am.
Jon said they really have to talk about how empty the city is today. Gary said that a few people from the show weren't there today but when you walk out in the lobby it's like a zoo usually. He said there's a stranger at the receptionists desk and the lights aren't on in the lobby. He said it's really weird. He said it's like they're the only ones there.
Jon said that everyone but Richard and Scott Salem came in from the radio side. He said Gary knew Scott wasn't coming in. Gary said that's correct. Jon asked if he thinks that the rest of the guys are going to keep getting hit over the next couple of weeks. Gary said he thinks they will. Gary said he's the guy who took it today. He said that he thinks he's right even though Howard may not think it's right. Gary said that Howard likes to tweak you and it can work both ways. He said that it's tweaking and also good radio.
Jon asked Gary what he thought about Robin wondering how he's going to protect his house. Gary said that was just crazy. He said that he has to cover up a hole in his house if he has one. He said he's not going to leave an open hole in his house. Jon said that there's nothing wrong with being with your family either. He said that went right by Howard and Robin. Gary said he's not sure what that was about. He said Howard has Beth and that's all he has to deal with. Jon said when you walk in during a storm you know there's a storm because Ronnie is ''Casual Ronnie.'' He said it makes you wonder what's up with that. Gary said Mel Karmazin stopped by in casual clothes too. Gary said he usually wears nicer pants and shirt but he expected to walk from the garage to the building getting soaked. Jon asked Gary if he thinks that he's undependable. Gary said he really doesn't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought Howard was too harsh on Gary about the whole thing. The guy said that Howard does have people to help him out with his homes and stuff.
Jason said that he disagreed with everything Howard was saying to Gary but he also loved every minute of it. He said it was so funny but Howard was so wrong. He said it was great even though he was so wrong. Gary said that's the backhanded comment that he gets all the time. Gary said that Shuli going off on him wasn't so great either. He said he felt he was piling on and he didn't need to. He said he can't walk out of there like nothing happened.
Jason said the funny thing was that Gary asked if Shuli was going to come to the Wrap Up Show. He said Shuli always finds time to do that. Jason said that Shuli is auditioning for a job. Gary said that's fine but you can't blame it all on that. He said that it was a lot like the kid in school doing something right while everyone else did something wrong.
Jason said that Shuli was gloating about how he left his wife and kid at home and stayed at the hotel. Gary said that Shuli isn't a homeowner and he never has. He said he rents a house somewhere. He said that it's not really his headache.
Jason said that he can't leave his wife home alone with the wind. He said Will is undecided about going home and he will regret it when the wife calls all upset when a tree hits the house or something. Gary said that's what he's thinking too and that's why he's going to be home with the family.
The guys talked about how Shuli is the only one other than Tim staying at the hotel. They said that Tim is staying there and he already lives in the city. Jason said that Steve Brandano is staying there too and so is JD. Jason talked about how great the rooms are too.
Jason said that only an asshole would take advantage of this time to bash Gary. Gary said he sees that Shuli is in there now. They had to take a break before getting to him.
Jon said that Shuli was really goofing on Gary today. Shuli said that when they have no guests that's what happens. They all get goofed on.
Gary said he felt like Shuli took that hotel room and he was going to rub it in everyone's face no matter what. Shuli said that Howard wants to hear jokes so that's what he was doing. Gary said not all of it was joking though. He said he was making comments that were just him being a dick. Shuli said he wasn't intentionally being an asshole toward him. Shuli said that Howard asked Gary if he was going to be there and he jumped on it. Shuli said he doesn't know what they're talking about. Gary asked if he could just do that in there and walk out and think that nothing happened. Shuli said no to that.
Ronnie came in and Jon said he seemed to be pissed at Shuli today too. Ronnie said he's been there for everything and him coming in and ranking on him for being there and not being sure if he will be there tomorrow is just wrong. Jon asked if he's upset because he questioned his professionalism.
Shuli said the flooding and stuff is just as much of an issue for him as it is for everyone else. Ronnie told him he should get off his case then. Shuli said he never will.
Jon Leiberman said that some people think that Shuli would not be in today if he wasn't in studio. Shuli said he was torn about the whole thing. He said his wife is sick and his 2 year old is sick and they're about to face blackouts and all of that. Shuli said he called Tim and asked him what to do. Shuli said Tim told him Howard said he was working so he made his decision then. He said that he didn't want to be on the list of people who didn't show up.
Jason said he thought Shuli was very funny today. Gary said he thought he was funny too but he was also vindictive at times. Jason asked Shuli what he's going to do when he gets a call at 1 in the morning from his wife. Shuli said that he'll have to see what happens. Tim came in and said that Shuli wouldn't be there if he hadn't called him yesterday. Shuli said he called Tim and asked him to tell the truth. Tim said that Jason did the same thing.
Leiberman said that the Holland Tunnel is closed at 2 today. He said they're closing other roads and tunnels today too. Jon said they say that all bridges and tunnels will be closed by 4pm today.
Gary said that he may not be able to make it in tomorrow. Jason said nothing is going to happen if Gary isn't there. He said the show will go on. Jon asked Tim what will happen if no one but Howard can make it in. Jason said that Howard will do the show even if he's the only one there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Shuli has pissed off a lot of people. Gary said that Jackie and Stuttering John have pissed him off in the past too. Tim told Shuli that revenge is a bitch.
Jason asked Shuli about Tim taking him out to dinner and how he turned on him and told Howard what happened. Shuli said that he did try to pay for his cheesecake. He said he's not a total schnurer.
Will came in and said that the show has that line between humor and honesty. He said he wants to be home and he may not make it in tomorrow. Gary said that when Howard says that he's coming in and asks is you're coming in it's like a test of your loyalty. He said that's why when he asks if he can depend on you then it makes you wonder what he's doing.
The guys were saying that they don't think that Howard will be doing Jimmy Kimmel tomorrow. Jon asked Mike Gange about why Doug and Scott didn't come in. Gange said that they were told that the office would be closed. Gange said the reason he's there is because he lives close. He said he will get up and see what the weather is like tomorrow. He said he may not make it in tomorrow. He said Scott has to travel really far. Gary said that Scott lives a mile away from Will. Gange said if it was left up to him to come in he would have come in. He was told not to come in.
Gange said that they were told that the offices were closed and they were told to stay safe. Gange said he lives so close that he has to really try to get in. He said that's why he was there. Gange said he's willing to take that bullet for everyone else. Gange said he was picked up in a limo this morning and brought to work. Jon had to take another break after that.
Jon Leiberman said that they did not see full breasts. He said that they are tired of hearing about her book in the news room every day. He said that they're just done with all of that. He said he's glad she's doing the book but they're tired of hearing about it. Leiberman said he would never ask Howard to do something like that. He said he hasn't been there that long though. Jason asked if he thinks that she was out of line asking for the photo shoot. Leiberman eventually said no.
Lisa G came in and said that you can't fake boobs like that so the cleavage they saw was real. Lisa said that the stylist and Beth were there too. They saw her. Jason said that you can fake cleavage. He said they've done it before.
Lisa said that she was worried about the storm today and she was going back and forth about that all morning. She said she has to get home now.
Gary asked Lisa if she was making fun of her with that whole Regis thing. She said that it was just for fun and she was telling him what he's known for at work. Jason said he wonders if she would be okay with it if Gary was doing the same with her. Lisa said that he asked her about work so that's what she told him about. Gary asked if she would be okay if he said she takes shits at work. Lisa said she'd be fine with that.
Ronnie asked Lisa to prove to them that she has big boobs but she said she's not going to do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Gary because he's the executive producer and he's getting bullied. He said it's not fun or funny anymore. Gary said that's the point he brings up on the show all the time. He said that he wants him to be in charge and run everything but then he'll demean him and everyone is snickering at him. He said it's very hard to lead in that area when that's going on. Jason said that he's friends with some guys at the Letterman show but they never say a word about Rob Burnett. He said it's a totally different thing there.
Gary said that yesterday they had all of these ideas for the show and Tim gave them to Howard and Howard laughed at them. He said he was going to discuss them with Howard but Howard never gave him the chance. He said he was going to come into the show and just do the show. That's all he wanted to say. Jason said that if Howard is coming in then all of the other options are like a joke to him.
Howard started the show talking about how some of them are there live. He said Shuli, Benjy, Robin and Fred were there. Howard said these are the guys you want to go to war with. Howard said JD is also there. Jim McClure is there. Howard said Steve Brandano is there and he's been promoted to Executive Producer. Howard said Mike Gange is there too. Fred said he's back there running the show all by himself.
Howard said most of them there were offered hotel rooms and they didn't take them. Howard said Gary went home to take care of his house but he's not sure how that works. He said he's a pussy. Howard said that he doesn't have that mentality.
Howard said Gary called him last night in the middle of the storm and asked what mechanism he was going to use to determine if he was coming in. Howard said he was going to get up, if the world was still there he was going to work. Howard said Gary was actually asking what mechanism he was using. Howard said he doesn't know how to answer that. Howard said he's not his daddy. Howard said he should have taken a hotel room and stayed in the city. Robin said she used to work in hospitals and there is no ''not coming in'' there.
Howard said Doug Goodstein is the biggest pussy ever. He said he would never go to war with him. Howard said Doug didn't come in yesterday because the offices were closed. Howard said there was no problem in the city though. Howard said everyone is so fucked up with the work. He said it's crazy. Robin said these guys are of the generation who don't know about that kind of work ethic.
Robin said she went home with Scott Salem after 9/11 and she knew that he wouldn't be at work the next day. She said she had to find her way home so she could get to work the next morning. Howard said these guys have to put the show on. He said he had his ISDN line set up last night and he figured he'd try that if this didn't work. Howard said he just doesn't get it. Robin said she got her's working last night too.
Howard said Robin hasn't missed a day of work. Fred played Robin's music. Howard said she deserves her music being played. He said that the job isn't fun all the time but it's a job. He said you just do it. Howard said Robin could have her head chopped off and she'd still be doing it.
Howard goofed on Gary more about staying home to protect his home from the trees falling on his home. Robin said she heard about people being killed by tree limbs. Howard said he does have those beaver teeth.
Howard said that he got some email from people complaining about the way he treated Gary yesterday. Howard read one guy's email and said he guarantees that guy works at McDonald's or something. Howard said Gary could have brought his family into New York City to stay if he was that worried. Howard said he can't rebuild his own home if something happens to it.
Howard read another one where the guy said that Gary is the dumb ass. He told Gary to listen to his boff and go to work.
Howard read one email where the guy said Howard is an asshole and he hopes that Beth and his parents die in the hurricane. Shuli said those are his fans too.
Shuli said that Gary went after him on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and all he was doing was his job. Shuli said he thinks his job is entertaining Howard. He said that's it and Gary went after him for that.
Howard read some more email about what was going on yesterday with the hurricane and how schools and businesses were closed. Howard said that he's still pissed about Doug Goodstein. He said he's running around with those bug eyes of his taking pictures. Shuli said he's putting his baby clothes on higher ground. Howard said he knows exactly what Doug is doing.
Howard said he doesn't give a shit if no one shows up for work. He said all he said was that he was coming into work. Howard said he told Gary he could come in or not. He said Gary freaked out when he asked if he could depend on him being there. Howard said he didn't tell Gary to do anything and Gary was angry with him. Howard said he wasn't goofing on him. He said they offered him a hotel there. Howard said he could have put his family in the hotel but Gary said that he doesn't have the staff to watch his house. Howard said he was being attacked by this beaver faced prick.
Howard said last night Gary called him and he had his alarm system going off with water blowing in the windows. Howard said Gary was giving him a briefing on who was going to be coming in. He told Gary he didn't care. Howard said if they're there they're there. He said it's okay if they're not there. He said he's not mad that he didn't show up. He said that's fine.
Howard said Gary was angry with him for having a staff. Howard said his anger came out and you think he's the angry one. Robin said Gary was yelling at her too saying she has someone at her house. She said she has no one at her house.
Shuli said it's like kids hoping that the school cancels that day and the school refuses to close. Howard said things are bad out there but people can get in. Howard said Gary was without power before the storm even came. Howard said Gary might want to move. He said that he must live in Guam or something. Howard said he lost power by 9 in the morning yesterday.
Howard said then Gary calls and gets on with him and tells him who is coming to work. He said he doesn't know what to do with that information. He said he really has to analyze it.
Howard said he told Gary to just stay home and not worry about it. Howard said Gary says he's worried about his family but he has a trampoline in the back yard he didn't do anything with. Howard said they had a guy on the news last night who had a trampoline and the thing was flying all over and hit his neighbor's house. Then another trampoline hit some power lines. Howard said Gary didn't bother taking in his trampoline.
Howard read some more email about Gary and how he should have given him a break with all of that stuff yesterday. Howard said all he did was ask Gary if he was going to be there. He said maybe he should have worded it differently.
Howard read an email from someone who said he was out of line asking Gary those questions yesterday. Howard said that this guy probably takes off any day he can take off. Howard said his dad was a radio engineer and he made a great living for a guy who grew up poor. He said his dad never missed a day of work. Howard said if he was being paid that day he showed up. Howard said his mother would go crazy when he'd go to work in a blizzard. Howard said he worked for this guy named Fortune Pope and he owned a bunch of things. Howard said his father was an engineer and Fortune called his dad. Howard said Fortune asked about how he never misses a day. Howard was doing his impression of his dad during this discussion. Howard said Fortune asked if he was a union guy. Howard said his dad was but he works too hard for a union guy. Howard said Fortune said he likes him and he had a recording studio that he wanted his dad to run. Howard said his dad asked if he'd lose his place in the union. Pope liked his dad so much he said he'd keep him in the union. Howard said his dad went to work every day and worked his ass off. Howard said he did a good day's work.
Howard said Pope comes to his dad eventually and asks if he wants to own the recording studio. Howard said his dad never owned anything. He said his dad bought the business with some other guys. He said his father eventually left the union and had his own business. He had the largest recording studio in the city. Howard said people say he's lucky but it's not luck. It's hard work. Howard said people have no fucking clue what he did to get where he is. Howard said he didn't have any staff years ago when he was working in Detroit and shoveling snow off his car to get to work. Howard said he got to his job and that's it.
Howard referred back to that ''what type of mechanism'' discussion from earlier. Howard said he has no phones today. Steve Brandano said they're working on it. Howard said some things never change.
The guys mentioned Scott the Engineer and he's another one who doesn't show up to work. He wasn't there yesterday and he wasn't there toady. Howard said you know how much fun is going on in his house so why leave. Howard and the guys were goofing on Scott about how many days he's taken off. Howard said he took off for Yom Kippur.
Howard read some more email about how he flew out to Pittsburgh when they had a big storm coming in. Howard said he did that on a day he had off. He said it wasn't a work day. Howard said Beth wanted to go visit the family and take the pets out there. Howard said they did that and he even got on a plane. Howard said this guy is probably another guy out of work. Shuli said that people were attacking him on Twitter about goofing on Gary yesterday. Howard said no one was even goofing on him. Howard said he told Gary it was fine if he didn't come in. Howard said he just said he was going to find a way to do the show.
Howard said he knew that Fred would be at work. He said he's a guy he can depend on being there. Gary flipped out on him when he heard him say that.
Howard said he doesn't get Doug Goodstein. He said if he wants to stay home then stay home. He doesn't care. Howard said Scott will probably take off Wednesday since he wasn't there Monday or Tuesday. Howard said he can't believe that the show is up and running without Scott. He wondered how they do it. Howard said even Jason ran home yesterday to his apartment. Howard said he could have stayed in the hotel. Howard said he didn't bust anyone's balls about not coming in. Howard said he's not going to make them come to work. He said it just sets people off when he decides to come to work.
Howard said maybe the 3 day week is killing everyone. He said maybe it's too much for them. Howard said Gary was wondering about trees falling on the house and maybe putting a tarp on the house to keep the water out. Howard said he thinks of Gary imagining it being like Road Warrior.
Howard said Gary isn't going to go out in a storm and protect his house if a tree falls on it. Howard said he's not going to lift it. He said he doesn't have super powers. Howard said maybe Mary can bounce on the trampoline out to Pittsburgh. Fred threw in some bouncing sound effects while they were doing that.
Howard said his building was swaying in the wind last night. He said it felt like a boat. Howard said he thought he was hallucinating. Howard said she was getting sea sick. Howard said he was too. Robin said she heard a lot of noises last night. Howard said it was so noisy but he fell asleep. He said he thought he was going to need Ambien. Howard said he fell asleep but Beth was up all night.
Howard said that he doesn't know what to do about Jimmy Kimmel. JD came in and said that John Bolaris will be there at 7:30 so he can tell him what's going on with the storm. Shuli said that they were about 2 blocks from the crane that collapsed last night.
Howard talked about JD and Jim McClure being there. Shuli said they are the group known as ''The Dependables.''
Howard read some news and had some stories about Kim Kardashian and goofed on her fat ass. Howard asked if this is going to wipe out Halloween. Fred said Chris Christy was going to reschedule it. They talked about how he must love that candy.
Howard said Richard Christy stayed home yesterday to take care of his fish and gerbil. Howard said you'd think he'd go to the hotel but he stayed home.
Howard played a song parody about Gary being undependable that Sal created. He had a bunch of audio clips in the song of Gary talking to Howard yesterday.
Howard said Gary thought he was being mean yesterday. He said if that's the way you think then you'll probably never go anywhere in life.
Howard played some audio of someone interviewing people on the street about Gary not showing up for work. Howard said that was your average guy on the street. The guy was saying that he should be there at work.
Howard played another interview where the guy was rambling about work and not making much sense. Howard said he didn't know English but that didn't stop him from answering. Howard said that guy is going places.
Howard played more interviews they did with people on the street and most of the people were saying that the producer should show up for work. Howard replayed some of the ''Undependable'' song.
Shuli said Jon and John Bolaris did a great job doing the weather reports last night. He said that Leiberman stayed at the hotel last night. Howard said Jon wanted him to know he was there and yelled out to him as he walked by the office. Jon came in and said that's so not the way it went down. Howard asked Jon why he didn't go home to protect his house. Jon said he stayed in the city because he and Bolaris did the show. He said that his girlfriend is a producer for Piers Morgan and she was in the city. He said that he's supposed to close on a house tomorrow afternoon in Coastal Connecticut. Howard asked if the house is even there. Jon said he doesn't know. He said he loves the house too.
Howard said it would have been really bad if he had closed on the house 2 days ago and then this storm hits. Jon said things are crazy. He said his fingers are crossed.
Howard asked Jon how he affords a house. He said he must be getting paid too much. Shuli said the guy has like 18 jobs outside of this one. Jon said he's like a crazy Jamaican.
Jon asked if he heard any of the show last night. Howard said he was going to call in last night but then his alarm was going off. Jon said the building there was swaying like crazy. He said he thought the show was great with the serious mixed with funny. He said that Bobo was crying on the phone. Howard asked why he was doing that. Jon said Bobo was talking about the water coming up at the docks. He said they got him on the air and a transformer blew up by his house and he was afraid the water was going to ruin his shrine. He said things were crazy with him. He said John Bolaris was telling him to get to cover. Howard had a clip of that part of the show.
Howard played the clip and Jon got Bobo on the line. Bobo said he had an explosion over there. Bobo said that he was almost knocked off the deck. He said the house was without power. Jon asked what the rain and wind was doing. Bobo gave them a rundown of what was going on out there. Bolaris told him that they told him to leave.
Jon told Howard that was the end of that. He said at 11:15 last night he had Bobo call him and he didn't pick up. He said he called again 5 minutes later saying he wanted to check in again. He said he told him he was glad he was still alive.
Robin asked if he was in the area that was supposed to be evacuated. Jon said he was on the edge of that area but he stuck around.
Howard asked if Bobo is only allowed to listen in his car. Jon said he is. He said his therapist told him that he should stop listening all together. He said he was told to take 2 months off from the show. Howard said that kills 4 hours a day for him. Robin said he gets depressed if he doesn't get on the show though.
Jon said he interviewed Bobo's wife out at their house and she said that he gets crazy. Jon said Bobo has to listen to the whole replay of the show later in the day if Howard takes his call. Howard asked if it's obsessive compulsive disorder or something. Jon said it must be.
Howard wondered if this behavior is from his wig glue. Jon said they were asking him what his hair was doing in the wind last night. He said that Bobo said that it was staying on even in the hurricane winds. Howard said they should bring him in there and try to blow that wig off. They talked about getting some leaf blowers and try to blow it off.
Jon said that High Pitch Eric was on the phone with them last night. He was telling them what kind of food he got for the storm. He said that he had a lot of Entenmann's and stuff like that. Howard had a clip from the show where they talked about that. Eric said he had chocolate cake, Pepsi and some candy. He said his diet was on hold for the week. He said it was just over until the storm is over. Howard said fat people always find a way to suspend their diet.
Jon said that Eric had eaten all of those rations a few hours later. He said that Eric went back to get more food at the store to help him make it through the night. Jon said they asked Sal what kind of rations he had and he just said ''What?'' like he had never even heard that word before. Howard said it makes him sad that his staff doesn't know this kind of stuff. Howard said Richard lives in Manhattan and he can't make it to work. Robin said he's actually in Queens but he could have walked to work.
Jon said that Gange was there yesterday and today. He said that he was in a bar last night trying to pick up a bartender. He said Gange stepped outside and said they only had 5 mile per hour winds and Gange insisted that it was only 5. He insisted that nothing was going on there. Ten minutes later the bar was being shut down by the cops because they were about to get flooded. Jon said it was funny to hear Gange talking like that.
Howard said Gange has gotten really fat. He said he's bigger than anyone on the staff. Howard said he must have given up. Howard asked how old he is now. Jon said he's not sure but he must be like 42. Howard said he looks terrible. Gange came in and said he feels terrible too. He said he thinks he's like 250 pounds and 5'8'' tall.
Gange told Howard he was in the bar from about 2 in the afternoon on. He said that he drank there and then went to get two slices of pizza around the corner. Howard said that sounds like a lot of drinking and eating. Gange said he went home and went to bed after that. Howard said that's how you let it fatten you up. He said you don't move and it just marbles up on you.
Howard said that when you're 40 and not married then women start to think something is wrong. Shuli said that he'll come on the block party shoots and he won't see him for hours. He said Gange will magically appear when the food shows up. Gange said that's just coincidence. He said it is weird that he ends up in the room when the food shows up.
Howard said Gange's whole life is with him. He said that he should have fired Gange back when he sent that porn tape to the dying woman. Howard said that he asked him to tape some Seinfeld episodes and he ended up sending a porn tape to her. Howard said he gave him a promotion instead. Howard said it was the biggest mistake of his life. Howard said the only chicks he gets are from the show. Gange said that's not really true. He said he dated a woman for a few months who didn't even listen to the show. Howard said that's one out of 20 years. Gange said he's been there for 20 years so that's how things go. Howard asked why the intern dumped him. Gange said he didn't know.
Howard asked Gange what happened to that one. Gange said he doesn't know. He said that was a long time ago already though. Howard said Gange is on a losing streak. He asked if the women are getting uglier. Gange said they're not. Howard said he imagines a girl who looks like Benjy showing up on a date. Gange said that if she was cute and had nice eyes he'd hook up with her.
Gange said he has things going on. He said he has a Friend with Benefits kind of thing going on. Jon asked what the benefit is. He asked if she gives him food. Gange laughed.
Howard asked Gange if he wants to be married. He said that he family thinks that he's the big winner in the family because he went to college. Gange said he would like to be married some day. He said if there's a girl out there he's ready.
Howard asked Gange if he thinks Doug is weird for not showing up. Gange said he wants to be home with his family and he kind of gets that. Howard said he'd like to retire from radio but he hasn't. Gange said no one will miss him if he shows up for work. Howard said Doug's eyes bug out of his head in an emergency. He said that he doesn't really help out. Gange said he did help out during 9/11.
Gange said that DePace tried to come in this morning but he got stuck on the highway. He said the cops wouldn't let him turn around. Howard said he should have showed up yesterday. He said nothing was going on yesterday.
Howard said Doug goes out of his way to tell people to stay home. Gange said the company was worried about them. Howard said they do that for legal reasons. He said they don't really care about them.
Ronnie came in and said that he knows a lot about Gange's love life. He said that there are plenty of girls who want to go out with him but they're not good enough. He said Gange is very picky. He said there's one girl who throws herself at him. Jon said he knows who that is. Ronnie said he could go out with her and bang her in a second but Gange won't do it. Ronnie said that she lives too far from him. He said that she'll come in to the city to him.
Gange said that this is a weird explanation. He said she's a single mom and he doesn't want to mess with someone's head like that. Howard said he gets that. He said he has to commend him for that. He said she's a single mom and he could get all tied up in that. Howard said if he has to break up then it gets messy.
Ronnie asked about the chick from the bar. Gange said that he'll see what happens with that. He said one of the waitresses from the bar is a fan of the show. He said she was hanging out there and he told her he'd get her on the phone. He said he figured that would be a great move. Gange said she has a boyfriend right now so what's he supposed to do? Howard told him to just ask her out. Ronnie said he'd rather just talk to them for 3 years. Gange said he feels that he's going to put a crack in the veneer eventually. Shuli said he's in the friend zone.
Ronnie said that Gange dated a girl for 5 years and she dumped him because he didn't want to get married. Gange said that's not the way it was. He said he can't even remember what happened. Ronnie said that's bull and you don't forget a 5 year relationship. Howard said it's the same story over and over again with him. Howard said he should ask that waitress today if he would like to go out with him. Gange said she's working today if the bar is open. He said he'll stop by there and ask. Howard said he should just tell her she's great and ask her to go out with him to dinner and a movie. Howard said he'll be out of his misery if she says no. Howard said if she says yes then he's in. Howard said Gange wastes so much time. He said he tries to be charming and flirts with women. Howard said she will tell him about the boyfriend and he'll just sit there listening. Gange said he doesn't listen to that stuff. He said she's only 24 years old too.
Howard said Gange is being a douche and he wastes a lot of time. Gange said he knows he does. He said he has really liked some people and he went right after them. He has done that. Howard told Gange to look at him and ask him out. Gange tried doing that. Howard played the girl and goofed on him for asking her out. Gange said that he will never ask her out if that's what her reaction is going to be. Howard was making fun of his weight. Gange said he was the only one in the bar eating pizza. He said he brought it back to the bar last night.
Jon said that Gange has no socks on. Gange said he had to take them off when he got to work. Howard goofed on Gange some more about asking the girl out. Howard asked Ronnie what he would do. Ronnie said he'd just ask her what's up and ask her to go hang out.
Fred did his Ronnie impression asking the girl out. He had some pick up lines like ''Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see.'' He had a bunch like that. Ronnie said he might have to help him with his pick up lines.
Ronnie said he had to thank the NYPD for letting him go over the bridge this morning. Howard said he was kind of pissed at Ronnie for the way things went. Ronnie said he showed up to work. Howard said that's all that counts. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that was a little Pink Floyd action. Howard said it's a beautiful song. Howard asked if Robin wanted to talk to Gary. Robin asked if he called in. Howard said he did. Howard asked Gary how he made out with the house. Gary said that he would like to make a quick statement. Gary said he harbors no animosity or resentment. He said he said yesterday that they have different circumstances. Howard said he attacked him because all he did was ask if he could depend on him being there. Howard said he went into a long attack about his lifestyle and how he has more than him. Gary said that's not what it was about.
Howard said he told Gary he could have stayed in the city at the hotel. Howard said he felt attacked by Gary. Gary said he wasn't attacking him. He said he was questioning his loyalty. Howard said Gary doesn't like the way he words things. Howard said he asked if he could be there and he said he couldn't. Howard said Gary said he couldn't depend on him being there but it was no big deal.
Howard said if he's so worried about him then he should be there. Howard said it doesn't do him any good to call him to let him know he's coming in. Gary said that he could have told him to call Ronnie or Tim. Howard said Gary is a big boy and he can figure it out. Gary said he did figure it out. Howard said that's good.
Howard said Gary was the one who attacked him. He said he didn't attack Gary. Robin said Gary is putting words into his mouth. Gary said he can't do this call because he had weird feedback on the phone. Howard said he'll talk to him some other day then.
Howard talked about that call he got from Gary about what mechanism he was going to use to decide. Howard said he was just going to wake up and get to work. He said Gary asked if he should know before hand if he's going to work. Howard said sometimes he doesn't get Gary. He said he has a high IQ but sometimes he sounds silly to him. He said he's never seen a producer so worked up over a show he's not there to produce.
Howard said he isn't going o stop his morning to call Gary. He said he has to get to work and that's it. Howard said he's not sure what Gary would have done with that information if he did know. Howard said it was just crazy. He said he didn't want to spend the whole show talking about him but he probably could. Howard said he told Beth he doesn't follow his logic. Howard said he's not sure how he's helping.
Howard said that Gary wants to know if he's going to work but he's not sure why he needs to know. Howard said Gary wanted the bulletin before he goes in. He said he didn't know he was going to get there until he got there.
Howard said he thinks Gary wanted him to call him when he woke up or something. He said even that wouldn't help. He said he had to get to work and not worry about calling Gary to let him know what he's doing. He said it was retarded.
Howard said he spent like an hour trying to set up his ISDN line. He said his alarm system was going off randomly so he has to get rid of that.
Robin said David Letterman did a show without an audience. Howard said he's all caught up in it because he's supposed to be a guest. He said Tracy Morgan is supposed to be there too but he thinks he lives in Brooklyn. Howard said he's not sure what to do. Howard said Jimmy is one of his only male friends so he's not sure what to do. He said he doesn't want to screw that up.
Robin said they do have Howard in the promo clips. She said that they have Howard in that satellite situation and it looks very bizarre. Howard said there is something preventing him from being on that show. He said he feels bad for Jimmy because he put so much into it.
Howard read about how animals act strange before a storm. Howard said that Salamander tattoo on Ronnie's arm started to slither under his balls so they're right about that.
Howard said the thing that stinks about these storms is when the FOX news anchors start covering up during the storms.
Howard said he has to ask Gary about the trampoline in his yard. He wondered what he uses it for.
Howard read some email about various things that were going on with the show yesterday. He had some feedback about Scott the Engineer being out and about Lisa G's breasts.
Howard said that food is scarce because Tim and JD are there. Howard said everything they had stockpiled is gone.
Howard said that he's not sure how bad things are when all of those reporters are out there reporting on the storm. Robin said one guy was chased away from where he was reporting. Another one was stranded when her truck got flooded.
Howard said that he photographed Lisa G the other day and she now has the third largest tits on the show. He said it's Robin, Jason and Lisa G. Shuli said he wasn't able to look at her the rest of the day. He said that was a shock to him.
Howard said Tim Sabean took a hotel room even though he lives in the city. Howard said Tim told him he loves to spice things up and shit in a different bathroom once in a while. Robin said that reminds her of the song he's doing in the musical. Howard said people were asking about that and wondering if they're really doing that musical. Howard said they are working on it.
Howard replayed the song that Robin was referring to where Tim sings about shitting all over the bathroom. Howard said this is going to be an expensive set to build. He said they have the whole thing fly out.
Howard said that the audience gets raincoats for this scene. He said that they get shit shot out all over the audience. He wondered what they could charge to get people in there. Shuli wondered how much they'd owe after it was done.
Howard said that he saw a great documentary about the hurricane. He said there was this girl and this house gets lifted up and moved to some place called Oz. Robin said that's not a documentary. Howard said he saw Ronnie in it.
Howard had the guys bring in John Bolaris. Howard said he scared the shit out of everyone. John said he did but rightly so. John told Howard that they have one more tide cycle coming in and it will be hight but not as bad as yesterday.
Howard asked if he's going to get to Brooklyn tonight. John said that he might be able to but he's not sure about the flooding.
Ronnie came in and told John that the bridges are closed and he's not sure if they're going to open. John said it could change later in the day. Ronnie said he doesn't know that though. Ronnie said he thinks they're trying to keep the people out of the city and that's why they're keeping the bridges and tunnels closed.
Howard said he's not sure what to do about Kimmel. He said he's not sure if he should spend 5 hours thinking about this. John said he has a feeling that Howard will be going. Howard said he's not sure how long he's going to spend going there. John said he may have some delays but he thinks he's going.
John also told Robin that the storm wasn't downgraded. He said that it became a hybrid storm and not a tropical storm. John said that the winds were still very high. He said they didn't want to call it a hurricane because of the characteristics. He said they recorded a 96 MPH speed at one of the airports. He said they were close to 90 in parts of New Jersey. Howard asked why it didn't blow off Bobo's wig. John said he's not sure about that one.
Howard said he was able to listen to some of the weather show last night. He said it was great to have John as part of the team. He told him to keep them posted if anything happens. He let him go after that.
Howard read some more email about Shuli being in the studio. Some people think he works well in there but others don't. Howard said one guy hates him. Howard read through that and one guy said that he doesn't have the appeal that Jackie and Artie had. Howard said he likes Shuli. Shuli said that's all that matters. Howard said he's surprised that Jackie had appeal.
Howard read about some of the phony phone calls they've been playing lately. Fred wasn't sure which one the writer was referring to. Howard went to another break after that.
Howard came back and said that the guys are driving him nuts trying to get the phones back up. Howard said he sees the Windows thing on his screen. Howard said it's just not working. He said it's time to give up. The show is almost over.
Howard said that the guys are trying to get the phones to work but they can only call out. He said his head was spinning hearing the explanation. Howard said DePace just got in and Doug is trying to call in. Howard said DePace is self congratulatory about getting in. Howard said he's apparently supposed to praise him. Robin said he was told not to come in yesterday.
Howard asked who ordered him not to come in. Scott said he was told through Doug. Howard said never go into the army with Doug. Scott said he was told it was through the legal department that they were told not to come in. Howard said he should have come in yesterday. Scott said he heard him giving them shit yesterday so that's why he came in today. Howard said he should just go home now.
Howard said Doug wants to get on the air too. Steve said he wanted to refute some of what he was saying. Howard said he's just doing a show. He asked why it's his problem. Steve told Howard that they can get Doug up on the phone but they have to call him. Howard told him to just get him on the line. Steve said he asked Doug to give him a number to call him back on but he wanted to time it. Howard told him to just forget it if it's that complicated. Steve said he understands. Howard said this place is driving him nuts.
Howard said he watched Dancing with the Stars and he's lost interest in it. He said he was really bored. Robin congratulated him on that. Howard said he used to love the show. Howard said the two he was interested in was Kirstie Alley because she's so fat but she can move gracefully. He said the big douche she dances with can lift her over his head. Howard said that's something else's. Robin said she thinks that he dropped her last time. Howard said he thinks he did.
Howard said he wanted to watch that Kelly Monaco too but Beth got bored and didn't want to see it. He said he just turned it off. Howard and Robin talked about some of the contestants on the show and how everyone dances around and the only people stone faced are Kelly Monaco and her partner. It's very serious to them. Howard said the trophy they win looks like it's about to fall apart too.
Howard said in the middle of the storm their apartment was swaying and they were watching Dancing with the Stars. He said he thought they were going to make love but that didn't happen. Howard said he's not sure he could have gotten it up with the stress. Howard said he didn't need to feel like he was going to fall out the window while he was fucking.
Howard played some audio of Wolfie interviewing some people about President Obama. Wolfie was questioning people at a gun show about some of the stuff that Obama has apparently done. He asked one guy about his t-shirt that said 9/11 was an inside job. He explained to Wolfie why he believes that. Howard said he can't believe this guy thinks it's an inside job that made the buildings come down. Robin said that's what Jesse Ventura thinks about that too. Howard said he has to straighten Jesse out about that too.
Howard played more of the interview where Wolfie was talking to the guy about his conspiracy theory. The guy said he thinks a real investigation needs to be done but it will never happen.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did with a guy at the gun show. Wolfie asked about why there aren't more gay gun owners. The guy said there is a group called the pink pistols who are into guns. The guy said that they're a good advocacy group too. Wolfie asked the guy if it's true that guys with small penises are into guns. The guy said he has a small one but that's not why he's into guns.
Howard said this guy sounds like the kind of guy you'd find at a gun show. Wolfie asked that guy what his thoughts on semi-automatic guns was. The guy said anyone should be able to go out and buy a gun and shoot it for fun.
Howard said he doesn't think he'd go to a gun show but he likes guns. He said he has a couple. Howard said he used to have a shotgun but doesn't have that one anymore. He said he has two guns now that he owns. Howard said that'll fuck you up if you break into his house. Howard said he doesn't even go to the range anymore. Howard said it's pretty easy to shoot.
Howard played a news report where a guy was talking about a wood pile he left and a woman complained about it. The guy said that he doesn't take orders from women.
Howard played a song parody from Psych who did a parody of a Gotye song.
Howard said Benjy put a bit together about black mean and why they don't give oral sex. Benjy went out and interviewed some black men about that. He had one with a guy who said that he has given it a try. He said there are some odors that repulse people and they don't like to deal with them.
Howard said that was a gentleman. He said he had some well thought out answers about that. Howard asked Robin if she's had black guys who went down on her. Robin said of course she has. Howard said they must have been from the street. Robin told him to stop that. Howard said that's kind of a stereotype. Benjy said he thinks that it's a macho thing. He said younger guys seem more likely to do it.
Howard played a bit that the guys did with George Takei and Wood Yi. They had the two of them asking questions during a debate between Obama and Romney. They had Wood Yi and George asking crazy questions with Romney and Obama answering.
Howard said that was some debate. Howard said he loved it. Howard said that he has so many other good things. He said someone found a Spanish chick running around with a video recorder and she sees a Ferrari and flips out like she's never seen one before. Howard said it's fascinating. Howard said this is why people invest money in cars like that. Howard played the clip and the woman was making really odd sounds when she saw the car. The woman was screaming and going nuts over the car when it took off down the road.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie taking Jon Leiberman out in his pace car on a race track. Jon was flipping out over the speeds he was going. Howard said one of the guys took those clips and put Jon in a gay bondage audio clip. He played that bit and they had Jon screaming as he was getting beaten by the bondage guy.
Howard said he also has a clip of King of All Blacks and Big Black doing their ''Black on Black'' show. Howard said King is going to be a grandfather. Robin said she didn't know he had a kid that old. Howard said he has some other daughter. Howard played the clip and King was telling Big Black about his daughter getting pregnant. Big said he thought she was staying with him. King said that's not happening. He said she's not coming back.
Howard said he thought King was above all of that. He said that's like a kid having a kid. Howard said he thought he had broken the cycle. Howard asked what that's about. He said the show is still funny though. He said he's keeping that show on the air.
Howard played another clip of King talking about how he hates other black people who vote for Mitt Romney. He talked about a couple who had come out in favor of Romney. King was talking about Stacy Dash and some other people and how they're like traitors. King said he is voting for Obama himself even though some of his views are republican.
Howard said Big Black had a discussion about section 8 housing. He said it was pretty fascinating. Howard played that clip and they took a call from a guy who brought it up. Big Black told the guys that he got another year of section 8 recently. He said you have to be homeless to get it. He said that it never goes away so he's been on it for like 10 years.
Howard said Big Black went to Washington University and he has a high IQ. Howard said he was homeless for a year. Howard said that's crazy that he can't find a job. Howard said he likes that show. Howard said he's basically saying he can't even get rid of the section 8 housing even if he wanted to. Howard said there's some pregnant woman out there who can't get on it while Big Black is freeloading.
Howard said he has a clip of some woman in a store who is drunk and running around mouthing off to people. Howard said this woman comes up to her and punches her right in the face and knocks her down. Howard said once she got knocked down it sobered her right up. Howard played the clip and this woman was going off about dairy farmers and yelling at people. She had a camera with her so she was filming this stuff. She claimed she was Andy Milonakis' cousin. She said she was going to knock someone's ass out and yelling at this woman. Howard said she's yelling at a black chick and that chick isn't going to put up with it. Then the woman knocks her out with two shots to her head. Shuli said she pummeled her after that. Howard said you know she's crazy when she's yelling about Andy Milonakis. Howard played more of the clip and the woman was talking about how her head hurt and she never got a shot in on that bitch. She said she got hit like 40 times. Howard said she had a moment of introspection there. Howard said it calmed her right down though. Howard said it just too 40 shots to the head. Howard said he had to take another break after that.
Howard came back and said he'd like to check in with people on the phones but the system is down. Howard said they seem to be testing him today with the phone system.
Howard asked what's going on with Bubba the Love Sponge. Howard said he saw the Hulk settled his lawsuit with Bubba but he's pressing on against Bubba's ex-wife and Gawker. Howard said that the settlement details weren't released. Howard said he read that Bubba's real name is Todd. He didn't remember that for some reason. Howard said that Bubba ran the apology on the show. He said that he didn't do it a lot. He said that he kind of sped it up and he didn't seem to be all that into it. Howard played the audio of the apology. Bubba basically said that he was wrong for what he said about Hulk and his children.
Steve Brandano came in and said that he just checked on Howard's lunch and they don't have anything hot. He said that it's the only place within 3 blocks that they can get food. Scott told him that they have tuna or egg salad. He said there is mayo in it though. Howard told Steve to get him an egg white wrap. Scott said they'll have that. Howard asked Steve if he can depend on him for that. Steve said he can.
Howard said that's little Steven Brandano. Howard said he will take what he can get at this point. He said he'd love to have egg salad but he's sure it has mayo in it. Howard said he doesn't want anyone calling him a girl for worrying about that. He said mayo packs on the calories. Howard said he loves tuna too but they load that up with tuna. Howard said he used to love a Subway tuna sandwich. He said that was back in college that he got those. Howard said it fit into his $100 a month budget back then.
Howard said Sean Hannity said ''defense cunts'' during a broadcast. Howard played the audio of that. He was trying to say ''defense cuts.'' Howard said he's pretending that he didn't say it.
Howard got Robin back up. Howard said she should have turned down her mic. Howard said he didn't want to eavesdrop. Robin said she didn't say anything other than ''okay'' and ''really.''
Howard said that Snooki was on this show and she cursed but they missed the 7 second delay. Howard said he would have been fined into the ground if he had done this. Howard said they always excuse other people from it. Howard said he's always the bad guy. Howard played the clip and Snooki was being interviewed by Access Hollywood and they were saying she's a good mother. Howard said they don't know she's a good mother. He said just because the kid is still alive they think she's a good mother.
Howard played the clip where Snooki said the people who don't think she's a good mother are assholes. Howard said they ended up bleeping the part after the curse. Howard said it's like they want the curse to be on the air and they hit the delay at he wrong time on purpose. Then they're asking Snooki more questions and she says ''shit'' while talking about her kid.
Howard said he likes how there's dead air after the curse. He said they don't bleep out the curse. Howard said he's wondering when the FCC is going to go after them. Howard said he went through hell over this nonsense. Howard said Dan Patrick also said Tony Homo instead of Tony Romo. Howard said that Dan has said some very nice things about the show. He said he seems to be a good guy. Howard played the clip of Dan slipping and saying ''Homo'' and quickly correcting himself to ''Romo.''
Howard played a clip of a reporter talking about a fire fight and saying fire fart three times in a row. Howard said he had to take another break and then get to the news.
Howard said Jon Hein will be doing it from his home ISDN line. Howard tried picking up his line to see if he was there. Steve said Jon has been very anxious about the whole thing. He said they might be able to get him up but they couldn't do it with the phone system. Howard said they should have been able to set that up. Steve said that's not his department. He said they could try to get him back up if he wants. Howard said it's too late now. Howard said Steve is a good kid but his answers annoy him.
Howard said they've been doing all kinds of stuff on the channels with the storm. He said Jon Leiberman and John Bolaris were on last night. He said Ass Napkin Ed called into that show last night. He played the audio and Ed was talking about how he bought one boloney sub for food during the storm.
Shuli told Howard that Ed hooks up with chicks all the time. He said he put an ad on Craigslist for someone to help him with his groceries. He had some woman come to his apartment and she gave him a hand job within the first 10 minutes. He went to the bathroom and when he came out she had stolen a bunch of flashlights and a roll of duct tape. He said Ed thinks that she was on drugs.
Howard played another clip from the weather special where high Pitch Eric called in and gave a weather report. He was giving wind speeds based on how it was rattling his window. Robin did her impression of Eric and Howard asked her to switch from impressionist to news woman.
Robin read about Hurricane Sandy and how the sun just came out by her place a few minutes ago. Robin said at least 16 people were killed by Sandy. Robin said that the Hurricane made landfall near Atlantic City. Robin said that 6 million people are without power. She said that the New York Stock Exchange is without power today so they're closed. Robin said from what she understands it's the salt water that corrodes the wiring and stuff like that. Robin said that's why they're not up and running. Robin had some audio of a resident in New Jersey talking about why he stayed home. He got caught when the water came up much higher than expected. Robin said that they had some blizzard conditions in some areas. Robin said some people were stuck on the roads because of that. Howard said maybe Scott the Engineer should stay home until Christmas. Howard said there's no reason for him to come into work.
Robin read about Corey Booker talking about getting Newark back to work. Robin said there were some thoughts of delaying the upcoming election.
Robin had some audio of an official talking about this storm causing the most damage in history in New York. Robin said that people are going to be without this power for several days at least. Robin said she found it interesting that people went to the beach even though they were told to get away from low lying areas. Howard said you root for them to die when they do that too. Robin said she saw people at the dunes doing stunts behind the reporters who were there.
Shuli said that he saw someone on the boardwalk in Atlantic City asking a guy where he was from. The guy said he was from Princeton and he was just down visiting for an hour before he headed home.
Howard had some audio of George Takei saying ''tsunami'' and ''guacamole'' along with some other words. Howard said it turned out he was right about the pronunciation he gave them.
Howard said yesterday he decided to take some ''me time'' after getting so irritated by Gary. Howard said he watched 3 hours of Boardwalk Empire, Homeland and then The Walking Dead. Howard said that was the three best hours of TV. Howard said they have such great stories on Boardwalk Empire. He said Homeland was great this week too. He said The Walking Dead is awesome too. Howard said Beth would come in and check on him and he'd tell her she has to see the shows. Howard said she did watch Gretchen Moll fucking her son on Boardwalk Empire. Howard went into a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read about a crane falling down and a facade falling off a building there in the city. Robin said that they had some other problems and the Mayor was talking about how people don't know how to use 9-1-1. In the clip Bloomberg was talking about the huge number of calls they were getting and how many of them weren't life threatening reasons. Bloomberg was asking people not to drive. Howard said he likes him and he wishes he would run for President. Howard said he's doing great and a lot of people are pleased with his third term. Robin said that's not what she read.
Robin said that 7 subway tunnels are under water. Howard asked why people don't jut take a limo. That led to Shuli and Howard doing their Gary voices talking about how Howard has choices. Robin read about the people without power and how many of them there are in the area.
Robin had some audio of Mitt Romney talking about how wrong Obama is with the way he's running the country. Robin said that his wife is on the campaign trail too. Howard said he can't believe that the country is so evenly split that they can't predict who is going to win. Howard read another live commercial a short time later.
Robin read about a guy who joined the military and turned out to be a terrorist. They spent a minute on that story.
Howard said that Benjy went on the street and asked people what they think about Howard Stern being named as the spokesperson for Chanel No. 5. Howard played a clip of one woman talking about how great it was and how much she loves Howard. Howard asked if she was hot. Benjy said she was pretty attractive.
Howard played another one where Benjy asked a guy what he thought of Howard Stern being named as the face of Chanel No. 5. The guy said that's wrong because Howard looks like a duck and he'd never buy that stuff for his girlfriend or wife again. Howard said that guy never bought it to begin with. Howard played another one where a woman said the company is fucked if they did that. Howard played another one where a woman said she had no problem with that. She said he's a pretty great guy. Then she said that he's nasty and that's what she likes about him. Howard said that's a lovely, lovely woman right there. Howard played a clip where a woman said that Howard is an ass and Benjy is an ass. Benjy thought that she was calling the company an ass. Howard said he's pretty sure that she was calling Benjy the ass. Howard had another one where a woman said that was very scary. She asked why they would do that. She said it wasn't appealing to her.
Robin read about Taylor Swift and Conner Kennedy have broken up. Howard gave that an ''Aww.'' Howard said that Sherman Hemsley still isn't buried after more than 3 months. Howard said that he's yet to be laid to rest. Howard said that the beneficiaries are arguing and waiting for a court order to tell them what to do about it. Howard said that they also say that he only had about $50,000 when he died. Howard read some more details about what's going on with Sherman.
Robin had a story about Eddie Furlong being arrested this morning after allegedly getting physical with his girlfriend. Howard said maybe he was playing Punchy Punch.
Robin read about Octomom being in rehab for a prescription pill addiction. Robin said that she probably needs those pills to deal with those kids. Howard said he loves people who wreck their own lives. Howard said she wrecked it herself.
Robin read about how David Letterman and Jimmy Fallon did their shows without an audience last night. Howard asked if they ever got a hold of Jimmy Kimmel. Steve said Gary took over from where he was and he was supposed to get back to them. Howard said he's sure that they could settle this in 2 seconds. He told Steve to make the call himself.
Robin had some audio from Letterman and Fallon's shows. Howard played those clips.
Robin read about Simon Cowell visiting the Tonight Show with Britney Spears. Simon was talking about how Britney would eat anything that was in front of her. Robin had some audio of Jay Leno doing his monologue about the hurricane.
Howard said that he can't believe he's being left to call the shots on this Kimmel show. Howard said he just agreed to do Jimmy's show and he didn't know he was going to be going through all of this. He said he can't make it.
Howard said if Steve can't do this then just let him know. JD came in and said that people are running around like crazy. He said they just need another minute. JD was laughing so Howard asked what's wrong with him. He asked if he hasn't learned anything. JD said that Jim McClure had set up for Wrap Up. Howard said they can take that show off the air and forget about it.
Howard had Jimmy on the phone and tried to pick up on him. He wasn't there. Howard said he's sorry he asked about this. Howard tried picking up and had some strange noise on the line. Howard said he likes that the people who aren't there are worried about the Wrap Up Show. Howard said he's there working and they're worried about Wrap Up.
Howard said because of Gary and his bullshit he can't get the phone call. Howard finally got Jimmy on the line. Jimmy said it's magic.
Howard asked Jimmy how he's doing. Jimmy said he's worried about what's going to happen to the Wrap Up Show today. Howard said he's not sure if he'll be able to make it in to the show today. Howard asked if he's feeling bad about not doing his show last night. jimmy said that he's hoping to minimize how many people they let down this week.
Howard asked why he's busting his balls with the show if he's not ready to go to 11:30pm yet. Howard said he wants to do the show and he's not looking to get out of it. Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. Ronnie said he has no control over the bridges being closed. Howard asked if he's willing to wait around in the city for the day. Ronnie said he never said he wouldn't wait around. Jimmy said if Howard comes they're going to do a show. He said they could move the time later if they have to. Howard said he has to work tomorrow so he can't do it later.
Howard said he's thinking that they may have to wait around all day. Jimmy said the good thing is that there is no traffic out there. Howard asked when they're going to decide. Jimmy said the show must go on. Howard said he knew he wasn't going to get an answer. Howard said he's going to put it on Jimmy. Jimmy told him to do whatever he's going to do today and then if the bridge is open then he can come over. Howard said if it's going to take 3 hours to get there and then 3 hours to come back then he's fucked. Howard said he'll make every effort to make it there.
Howard asked if Tracy is there. Jimmy said he's not there yet but he's assuming he will be. Howard said he thinks Ronnie is bummed. Ronnie said he doesn't think that they want people in the city right now. He said they have to come back after the show. Robin said she's surprised that Jimmy doesn't have the pull to get his guests over there. Jimmy said that it's God's ball so what are you gonna do?
Ronnie said he wants to bring someone with him to help them get over the bridge. Ronnie said they have a guy. He said they need someone with a badge. Ronnie yelled at Shuli to shut up because he was laughing at him.
Ronnie suggested having Letterman and Howard on tomorrow night. Howard said he knows Jimmy wants to have Dave on alone. Howard said that he doesn't want to do that. Howard said he thinks that Jimmy idolizes him more than Letterman anyway. Howard asked how long he's going to interview Letterman for. Jimmy said he's not sure who the other guests are going to be. He said they should be doing a Halloween bit.
Howard said he's just going to do the best he can to get there tonight. He said he would prefer that his fans not be there. Jimmy said Mariann is probably there right now. Howard said when Letterman is on he should bring out a bed and an intern. Howard said that would make history. Howard asked if he's even going to bring that up. Jimmy said of course not. Howard asked what kind of interview that is.
Shuli said he saw Jimmy interviewing Axl Rose last week. He said he was really good on the show. Howard said Axl was supposed to call into the show but he never did. Jimmy said Axl isn't a fan of Slash, that's for sure.
Howard said that Jimmy is getting married. He said he's always up to something. Robin asked if he's getting skinny because of that. Howard said he thinks that he had some kind of health scare. Jimmy said it wasn't a scare. He said he started weighing himself and he got obsessed with that. He said that's really all there is to it.
Howard said Jimmy is ordering sensible dinners now. He said that it's really odd. Jimmy told Howard that the connection is really bad with the phone today. He said he doesn't think it's his phone either.
Howard said that his guys were bugging him for a pre-interview and he doesn't want to do one. He said they can do one when he gets there.
Howard said he had Evil Dave on talking about how he doesn't want to do Jimmy's show. Jimmy said that it might be fun if they have Evil Dave call their producer and have fun with him.
Howard said Jimmy's girlfriend isn't just hot but she's a terrific girl. Jimmy yelled out to Molly that Howard just said she's not hot.
Howard said he's going to make every effort to get over there. He said if it's closed he's not coming. He said if it's open he'll be there. Howard said he and Ronnie have to hang out all day waiting to figure it out.
Robin asked if the psychiatrist understands what a weather interruption is. Ronnie said the guy gets mad at Howard over that. Howard ended the show a short time later. They were done at 10:10am.
Jon said he knows that they have Leiberman and Bolaris in the studio. He was able to see the guys over his iPad. Jon said his power is still on but he did lose a tree in his back yard. Jon said things are bad on Long Island and in Connecticut.
Jon had Gary on the phone and Gary said that he thought that he left everything in good hands. He said that he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to make it in. He said Ronnie told him not to bother coming in. Gary said he has to figure out a way to listen to the show. He said he has no internet or telephone. He said he's at a neighbor's house. He said he has no lights on his first floor. He said he has a generator but he can't use much in the house. Gary said what he ended up doing was listening to the show on his wife's iPhone. He said he ended up going to the car and listened to the show in the car. Gary said he wasn't prepared for a full hour of Howard going off on him.
Gary said he knew that things were going to be scary last night. He said he had his wife and son and it was scary. He said his wife turned to him and said she was glad he was there. She told him she wasn't sure what she would have done without him. Gary said there were some scary moments and nothing bad happened to his family but it's easy to look back on it now. He said he was scared for his family and they were scared.
Benjy asked if Gary could see him like Jon could. Gary said it was just Jon and then told Benjy to try derailing the conversation even more.
JD asked how the trampoline is. Gary said he got a bunch of pictures sent him in via twitter. He said that it's actually pretty funny. Leiberman said that Gary's Trampoline has its own twitter account now.
Gary told the guys about how bad the phone lines were today. He said that he was hearing four voices at once while trying to talk to Howard. Gary said he got very defensive yesterday and he was trying to defend himself and his work ethic. He said with Shuli and Robin in there the place gets bent into a place that's almost unrecognizable. He said it became Gary is an angry asshole and that's really not what it was.
Gary said that he doesn't get jealous of Howard or other people. He said that when he said that he has options he was just saying that he's in a different situation and asking Howard to look at his situation as being different.
Jon asked JD how things were for him this morning. JD said he had to look up the live spots and figure out what was going on with them. He said they were pitching stuff to Howard and it was nerve wracking.
Gary said he went over all of the pages yesterday with JD. He said that JD did a great job of getting stuff to him.
John Bolaris asked if he got the forecast right. Gary said of course he did.
Gary said he thought that Steve did a good job with everything. Steve said he felt overwhelmed but he tried to do what he could. Gary said that Steve just has to relay information to Howard and he knows that Howard got mad at him. He said there's not much you can do about that though.
Steve said that Howard asked him to talk to Jimmy and he thought that he wanted him to talk to him. He said that's where Gary would know better and would have known to put him on with Howard. Steve said it was good that they left him on hold.
Gary said he called Jimmy right away and he was wondering how they got him on the line. Steve said he knows where the information is and he made the call after Howard let him know what he wanted.
Jon said that Jimmy never told Howard that he shouldn't come to the show. He asked Gary if he thinks he should have let Howard off the hook. Gary said he understands why this is so meaningful to Jimmy. He said that he knows it's his one chance to get Howard there. Even though it's not really his only chance but it is his chance right now. Jon said he's up against a lot of stuff and he's sure Howard doesn't want to disappoint Jimmy. Gary said he thinks that they'll open everything up later today and it's just a waiting game right now.
John Bolaris gave the guys some updates on what the forecast is for the rest of the day. He said he thinks that later today they'll be able to lift the wind advisories. He said there may be more flooding but they should be okay.
Gary asked Benjy what his thoughts were on what Howard was saying about him. Benjy said that he felt for him because of the shit they give him for showing up late. Benjy said that he understands Gary's feelings. Gary said that he wouldn't say it was all about his house. He said it was more about his family. Benjy said he has no anger over it. He said maybe he should have brought the family into the city. Gary said that Benjy doesn't own a home so he doesn't know what it's like.
Gary said a month and a half ago they had a wire down across the street. He said they knew it was there and if he wasn't home when something like that happened at his house then he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. Gary said that just because you have insurance doesn't mean you should walk away from something. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that Gange did a great job with Scott's job yesterday. Scott said that Steve did a good job for Gary today too. Gary said he didn't mean it as a dig.
Scott asked about Jason not coming in today. Gary said that Jason knew he could be there but he was worried about his wife. Gary said he talked about how awful he would have felt if his wife was home alone going through the storm.
Jon Leiberman said that people thought Jason was high when he called into their show yesterday. He was speaking very low when he called in. Jon said he can't imagine why they would think that.
Jon asked Scott about Doug not coming in and what he knew about that. Scott said the legal department told them not to come in. He said he was told that he wasn't supposed to come in. Gange said they were very clear about that. He said he doesn't think that they'll get in trouble over it though.
Jon asked Gange about Howard calling him in and going off on him about his weight and about the girls. Gange said that the weight thing and the bald and loser thing bothers him a little bit. He said he has to come to grips with that.
Gary asked Gange if he died tomorrow and Howard had to write his epitaph would that Seinfeld tape end up in there. Gange said he's sure it would. They talked about the woman he sent the tape to and Gange said that she gets more and more religious as the years pass by. Gange said that the tape was a mistake and Howard makes it seem like he did it on purpose.
Jon asked Gange about the friend with benefits he has. Gange said that they both know that it's just a friend with benefits kind of thing. He said that it'll never be more than that. Benjy asked if they know that they're going to end up doing that. Gange said they do. He said she's attractive too.
Scott asked if she blows Gange. Benjy said it's funny that he's always asking about blow jobs like that. Scott said he was just wondering if she does that or just fucks.
Jon asked who made the first move in that relationship. Gange said he's not sure. He said it probably started out as a drunken discussion one night. Scott asked if he's ever had her on her period. Gange said he doesn't think that's ever happened.
Jon asked the guys who they think will get the hardest time Gary, Doug or Scott Salem. The guys were saying they think that Scott is going to take it. Scott DePace said Howard will give it to Gary too though. Gange said that Scott will never get the chance to redeem himself. Gary said he has the chance to do that every day but he never does.
Jon said that the other name that comes up a lot is Richard Christy. Gary said that Richard refused to leave his apartment even though he was told to evacuate.
Gary said that his wife could see that he was upset yesterday about getting hammered. He said that his wife started crying. He said that she thinks he did the right thing and it was great to hear that.
John Bolaris said that all of the bridges just opened according to High Pitch Eric. Jon Leiberman said he's going to get confirmation on that himself. He said that Eric believes he's a news correspondent. He said he calls himself Dr. High Pitch Eric. Jon had to go to break after that.
Jon asked Gary about being pissed at Shuli. Gary said he was pissed at Robin too. He said he's pissed off at Shuli about what he did. He said that he can do whatever he wants but he's not going to ignore it. Gary said he doesn't control the show. He said if Howard wants him there then he's going to be there.
Jon asked Shuli about saying that Gary was taking his anger about Howard out on him. Shuli said he was part of the goofing team and he's the low man on the totem pole so he'll eat the shit sandwich. Gary said he's not that new and not that low. Gary said when Howard came at him he went back at him with the way he felt. Shuli said he felt that Gary's reaction toward him was kind of extreme. Gary said the person that's really pissed at Shuli is Tim Sabean. Tim was in the studio so they asked him about that. Gary said Shuli went out to dinner with Tim and the next day he's talking about how much he eats. Shuli said it wasn't that bad. He said they're doing a comedy show there.
Jon asked Tim to tell Shuli how he really feels. Shuli didn't give him a chance. He said he went to dinner and he talked about what happened. He said that's all he did.
Shuli said that they had no guests and he was making conversation. Gary said that he's acting like there won't be repercussions for something like that. He said there will be. Gary said that he basically said that Tim is a fat guy. He said he knows the joke he's going for but don't walk out the door and be surprised if Tim is pissed. Shuli said there are worse things he could go on the air with about them. Shuli said that he would like to apologize to anyone he offended. Gary said he doesn't want that. Shuli said he has it anyway. He said he's throwing it right back at him.
Jon asked Shuli what else he has about him that he would like to say. Shuli said he will never do that again. Gary told him not to feel limited. Gary said some of the stuff Shuli was doing was funny but some of it was like he was just saying stuff to please Howard. Shuli said that is his audience so that's who he's playing to. He said if Howard is laughing then he's going to keep doing it. Shuli said he didn't think that it would bother them the way it did. He said that they are there to bust balls and have some fun. Jon Leiberman asked if Shuli is the new Jason. Gary said he's really not. They had to end the show a short time later. They were done at 11:00am.
Howard started the show talking about how this week can't end fast enough. He said it's been a horrible time for people. He said his friend Ratso sent him a picture of his house and the whole front of the house is off.
Robin said hello to Howard so they goofed on Gary for a few seconds about his ''Hello, hello'' clip.
Howard said he won't say the name Sandy anymore. He said that it kind of ruined people's lives and that name isn't a good name for a storm like that. He said it's too nice. Robin said that she's been seeing some footage and seeing the boardwalks just washed away. She said it's just mud and sand everywhere. Howard said Gary was able to save his trampoline. Robin said no one has been able to get to her empty house.
Howard said he did the Jimmy Kimmel show last night. He said it was difficult for Ronnie to get there. They had no power below 23rd Street so there are no lights. Howard said it took a long time to get down there. He said it wasn't too bad coming home. He said they had a full house down there and it was a lot of fun. Howard said it was good to see Jimmy.
Howard said he hates doing those appearances but he adores Jimmy and he didn't want to be a dick so he did the show. Robin said Jimmy didn't seem to embrace him like she would have thought. Howard said he didn't really give him a chance.
Howard said Tracy Morgan was there and he's one of those guys who gives you a huge hug. He said that it was kind of rough. Howard said Tracy told him that he was coming on the show and he told him to come in any time.
Howard said he got there around 4 o'clock and it's a nice place. He said it's the Brooklyn Academy Theater or something. He said it has another name with Harvey in it. He said that's the name his mother wanted to name him.
Howard said it's very warm in the studio. He said he's all bundled up today. Howard said he was waiting for them to cancel the Kimmel show. Howard said he really didn't want to go down there. Then Ronnie said to him that the bridge was open. Howard said he just said ''Oh no...'' Howard said Ronnie wasn't looking forward to it either. Howard said it was like the TV show ''Revolution.'' Howard said his episode didn't tape the other night. Robin said it was storm central the whole time.
Howard said those shows fuck him up because he takes it seriously. He said he was going to go work out after the radio show but he figured he had to be ready to do Jimmy's show. Howard said he worked out anyway and he worked out way too hard. He said he was working out with another guy and he was pushing. Howard said he was running and doing pull-ups and all of that. Howard said he sounded like Gange after that.
Howard played a clip from Back Office Radio. They had a caller talking about ''poor JD'' and Jason went off on him about how he's not ''poor'' and how he's living a great life working for the show and fucking girls all over the country. JD said he's not looking for people to pity him. He said he doesn't need Jason sticking up for him either.
Howard said he heard that JD didn't want to pull clips from the show for them either. JD said he doesn't want to help them if they're going to bash him like that. Robin said that these channels pay his salary. JD said he knows that.
Shuli said he thought that JD was nominated for Douche of the Week every week. JD said he doesn't think that's true.
Howard played another clip where Jason told fans to unfollow JD because Howard has told him to shut down his account. Jason said that if you're a real fan then you should unfollow. Howard said that was kind of weird. JD said that he unfollowed Jason quietly and then Jon Leiberman went and told him. He said he didn't want to read about him being his boss and things like that. He said he just didn't want to deal with it. Robin said JD is very sensitive. Howard said he is involved in a lot of childish shit.
Howard played another clip where Teddy was talking about JD chewing his hands and making his fingers bleed. Howard said JD is kind of gross. Shuli said he's going to nominate him as being ''gross of the week.''
Howard was going to say something nice to JD but he was laughing. Howard asked why he was laughing. Howard told him to close his mouth and stop laughing. JD couldn't stop. Howard said he wanted to thank him... JD laughed. Howard said he's so goofy. Howard thanked JD for being there and putting in so many hours this week. He said he appreciates how hard he works. He said he felt it was important to let him know that. Howard told JD he can laugh now. Howard thought he was crying but JD said that was from his laughing.
Robin said JD doesn't expect to get applause for what he does. Howard said that's like Scott showing up to work tody and waiting for him to thank him. Howard said they needed every man they need but he knew not to depend on him. Howard said he knew there would be zero effort there.
,Howard said there are a lot of people writing him hate letters about talking to the guys about coming to work. Howard said all he did was say he was coming to work and they could do what they felt they had to do. Howard said he knows there are guys like JD who will just be there. Robin said that's because he knows his job and he wants to be there to do it. Howard said JD is beautiful.
Howard said he was looking at himself on Kimmel and he thinks he's just ugly. He said that Beth told him he looks fine but he knows he's not. Howard said he can see JD's beauty. He said he sees through the Cheetos shirt he wears every day. JD said he hasn't worn that in years. He said he doesn't fit in it anymore.
Howard said you can criticize him after you've done a radio show for 35 years and employed people during that time. Howard said he should go to a small market and get a radio show. Howard said he can build a career. He said if he's going to ride on his coattails then he can't criticize him.
Howard said Mike didn't come in on Monday or Tuesday and he's not that far from work. Howard said he was at home and he's there trying to entertain the audience. Howard said JD can criticize him if he wants. Howard said Letterman was criticizing those people but not on the air.
Howard said Letterman fucks his employees. He said he's such a great guy he fucks the interns. Howard said if Dave is so wonderful then get a job with him. Howard said that's his staff.
Howard said Gary was on Wrap Up with Jon Hein yesterday. They were talking about all of that stuff. Howard said they did a good show. Howard said they were trying to figure out who was going to get it the worst. Gary was there today so he told Howard where the clips were.
Howard said that Doug Goodstein was there today. He stayed home on Monday and Tuesday. Howard said he's fine with that. He said no one missed him. Doug said he did what he could. He said the company was closed and they didn't want anyone coming in. He said he went back and forth with Legal and they were only comfortable with the people who were in the city. Doug said that he beat the shit out of him for two days and he's speaking out of both sides of his mouth. Howard asked Doug if he protected his kids and wife on Monday. Doug said he went by the forecast. He said it was supposed to hit at 3 in the morning full force. Howard said Doug just barged in on his show. Howard said he didn't come in and he's fine with it.
Howard said that on Monday he wanted to stay home but he didn't stay home. Howard said he has come in during all kinds of weather. He said he has kids and a wife and a home to take care of but he want to work. Howard said he came in during all kinds of weather. Howard said he never called Doug a loser and never said he wasn't a man. Doug said he could pull some clips. Howard told him to pull the clips and come back in. Howard told him he's out of line.
Doug said he could have come in on Monday. Howard said he has a family and a wife to protect too. Howard said he didn't want to leave his apartment and leave Beth alone. Howard said he loves Beth as much as Doug loves his wife. Howard said he's not disparaging Doug for staying home.
Doug said there were no railroads on Monday. Howard said he didn't trash him so he can stop now. Doug said he wasn't able to get in on Tuesday. Howard said Doug could have taken a hotel room on Tuesday. He said he's fine with that. He said Doug took that option.
Robin asked Doug how he protected his family. Doug said that something could have happened. Robin said she would have gotten her family out if she was in that situation. Howard said Robin wanted to be home too but she came in. Howard said if you want to protect your family then get them out of that area. Doug said they were at home. Robin said he's acting like there's going to be danger. Doug said he has trees on his property. Howard asked Doug to leave. Howard said one of them is going to leave. Howard said if Doug thinks talking about trees and his house is fun to talk about then he can do a 4 hour show.
Doug said he wasn't going to be some rogue asshole by coming in when the company told him not to. Howard told Doug to get to work and get out of there. Howard said he apologizes if he doesn't agree with him. Doug said he did get a crew in there for Howard. He said they can't even cut shows because they have no power downtown.
Howard told Doug he's going to give him an award. Doug said he treats him like shit and he treats Gary like shit too. Howard asked if he has to stand up for Gary now. Doug said Howard questioned his dedication and loyalty. Doug said they can call him an asshole and play crying sounds when he leaves.
Howard said he's getting Doug a ribbon that says he's the number one employee. Howard told him to get out of there.
Howard said Doug finally explained what was going on. Howard said that was some explanation. Howard said he loves Doug and he's been there for how many years. Shuli said it's too many years. Howard said he doesn't hold any animosity toward any of those people who didn't show up to work. Howard said he loves Doug and he loves Gary. He said he even loves Scott the Engineer. Howard said Scott decided not to come to work on Sunday. Howard said he had to stay home and protect his home.
Howard said he's sorry he didn't stay home and protect his wife. Shuli said he didn't either. Howard thanked Fred for coming in this week. Doug was on the remote microphone and still talking about all of that.
Howard said he's still afraid that a tree could fall on Doug's house. Howard told him he should get home. Fred played a car peeling out clip. Howard said Doug was down at ground zero on 9/11 taking pictures. He said that's very brave. He said he's like Jimmy Olsen. Shuli said that Doug was asking Robin what she did on that day. Robin said she stayed away from the area since she couldn't help. Howard said Doug had to be down there to take pictures.
Howard said he wasn't disappointed in Scott Salem at all. He said he did exactly what he expected him to do. Shuli said he should make a poster like that Malcolm X poster that says ''By Any Means Necessary'' and have Scott sitting with his feet up on the desk.
Fred read some of the things that Scott was posting during the storm. He had posted something about sitting by the window while his generator was running.
Howard said he did say to everyone that they didn't have to come in. He said he could do a show by himself. It might not be a great show but he could do it alone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the work ethic isn't like what Howard, Robin and Fred's is. He said ''fuck these people.'' Robin said they do have lives. Howard asked how he could say that after what Doug said. Fred did an impression of Doug that sounded like his Tom Chiusano impression.
The caller said that these people are being carried and they have no idea what it's going to be like in the real world. He said they won't get away with this shit. Howard said they'll sit around in a bar reminiscing about the good old days working for Howard Stern. Howard said that these guys think that he and Beth don't count because they have kids. Robin said Howard comes in there and makes sure they all have jobs there. Robin said they never think about that.
The caller said that they should do a re-release of Private Parts. Howard said he thinks that part of his life is over so he doesn't see why they need that.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Richard Christy is there. Howard said Richard wrote about how glad he was staying home. Howard said he was able to put towels on the windows when the water came in. Howard said he had water coming in too. He managed to work and do the towel thing. Howard said Richard rents an apartment and he still stayed home to protect the windows. Howard said Richard actually did make it into work today.
Howard said Richard doesn't have any kids so he shouldn't have stayed home according to what Doug said. Richard said he didn't want to leave the building and not be able to get back in. He said they opened it back up yesterday. Howard said if they shut it down it's because they were flooded. Richard said he wanted to stay there and make sure they don't get water damage. Howard said he wanted to do that too. Richard said he wouldn't have been able to get home during the storm. Howard said he's renting an apartment and the junk in there is worth about $10. Richard said that's his junk though. Fred did his impression of Richard talking about the junk in his apartment. Howard asked if he's going to go out for Halloween. Richard said it's kind of sad out there right now. He said you can't really celebrate. Howard said he should stay home and protect his apartment. Howard said Richard has no excuse for not coming in. Howard said he's in Manhattan. Richard said he's in Queens. Howard told him to get out of there. Richard said he has only missed one live show in the 8 years he's been there. Howard said that Richard is 30 stories up and he's worried about flooding. Richard said they had over 100 mile per hour winds. Howard said he did too.
Howard said that Richard is worried about flooding. He said that he can't stop the wind. Howard and Fred did their Richard impressions and goofed on him for a short time. Howard said Richard should have been there. He said he's sure he wouldn't have flooded out being 30 floors up. Richard said they had water pouring in. Howard said he did too. He said he went through 2 towels. Richard said they had to use a lot of clothes to sop up the water.
Howard told Richard to go do something funny and get out. Richard said Howard did call him a loser. Howard said he had no excuse for not being there. Howard said they don't need Doug there and he gets why he was home. Howard said Richard had no excuse. Richard said that they have a guinea pig and a fish. Richard said he's sorry.
Richard said that Robin wasn't actually there. She was at home doing the show. Robin went off on him and said that she was working a week after having a major operation... ''ASSHOLE!'' Robin told him to never mention her name again.
Howard told Fred to play that commercial where they talk about love being in the air. Howard said this is called ''Feel the Love.'' Fred played the clip and it was various people on the show calling each other names and yelling at each other.
Howard got back to the caller and asked if he and Tracy Morgan have a man crush going on. Howard said someone pointed out that he kept putting his hand on his shoulder and that's gay. The caller said that Howard was rubbing Tracy a lot. Howard said he was asked to stay while Tracy was there and he didn't think that he should be there. Howard said he doesn't like to be looking over other guys looking at the host. Howard said he did it for Jimmy. Howard said he wanted to be a team player. Howard said Tracy was shot out of a rocket. He said he came out and gave him a hug and he felt like his bones were going to be crushed. Howard said he was sitting there and he was trying to calm Tracy down when he put his hand on his shoulder. The caller said he counted 14 times that Howard touched Tracy. Howard said he thought they were just hanging out and having fun so that's why he did that.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said that he was phenomenal on Jimmy Kimmel last night. He said he wasn't there at the show. Howard said Mariann was there. Eric said no trains or busses were running so he was stuck. Howard said there is such flooding there that there's no way to get anywhere. Robin said the subway tunnels are all flooded.
Howard asked Eric if he has any food for the storm. Eric said he has 50 cans of Chef Boyardee. He said he eats 2 a day. Howard said that his rations were Cherry Pepsi, M&Ms and hostess cupcakes. Eric said he had an Entenmann's chocolate cake too. Howard asked if his shit comes right out or does he have to push. Eric said it comes right out. Shuli said he was there for those Craptacular shows. Howard said he'd imagine that it would be hard to get them out. He said he has no fiber in his system. Robin said that it's filled with stuff so it has to go somewhere. Shuli said when he'd shit he made noises that he's never heard. He said he's 38 and he's never made that noise himself. Shuli said that it's bubbling and at one point Eric got up and the toilet thing they were using got stuck to him. He said they had to pull the toilet off of him. Shuli said he was there wondering what the fuck he'd signed up for.
Howard asked how many times a day he shits. Eric said it's like 3 times a day. He said he uses baby wipes to clean up. Howard asked if he wipes from the taint so the hair gets cleaned. Shuli asked if he wipes from front to back or back to front. Eric said ''What was that?''
Eric said it was funny when Jimmy showed the clip of Joey Boots doing a Baba Booey Bomb. Howard said he bets that he's jealous of Joey being on Jimmy's show. Eric said he's not because he did one too. Howard was going to let Eric go but he said he's doing a cancer walk soon. Shuli did his impression of Eric and goofed on him for a short time.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to a phone sex line using Tracy Morgan audio clips. Howard said that call is very confusing to him. He said that she uses the N-word and says ''give me that nigger dick.'' Howard said he's not sure if she likes black people. Robin said she likes money. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he likes that ''cocaine-a'' clip of Robin. Robin said he needs her in that song. Howard said he's still working on the Howard Stern Show musical. Howard said they will have a Broadway Musical and they're working on getting some backers. Howard said they have a bunch and they have to figure out who to leave out. Howard said this is going to be Robin's retirement money. He said it can't miss.
Howard said that he has a number for Robin to perform. He said there is a scene in the play toward the end when Hurricane Sandy is coming and this is Gary's big number. Howard said the guy playing Gary has such enormous teeth that they make Gary's look small. Howard said Gary comes out all confused about protecting his family in the hurricane. Howard said you get to see the hurricane in the musical. He said there is dancing and then Gary comes out. He decides to stay home from the show to protect his family. He said they even have a huge trampoline on the stage. Howard played the song that Gary would be performing in the musical. Gary sings about the trampoline coming through his window and a tree falling in his yard. Gary sings about how he didn't go to work so he could protect Mary. He had to protect his jukebox too.
Howard said it's not all done yet but they'll see it eventually. Howard said at one point Gary gnaws through the tree that falls on his house. Then he builds a new habitat for his family.
Howard said that this isn't done yet but he has another song by Tim Sabean. Howard said Tim sings about shitting in the bathroom. Howard played some of that song and said he had the song rewritten. They made it more rock and roll.
Howard said Lisa G is in the show too. He played her song where she sings about her chest. She sings ''See my chest, see my chest...'' Lisa also sings about her cookies and stuff. Howard said he's thinking of cutting that song. He said they'll cut it right on stage.
Howard played some of the recording session that Tim Sabean did. Sal was trying to get him to sing the lines in a certain way and Tim was having voice trouble. Howard said that play will be a huge hit on Broadway. Howard said it can't miss. He said the fans will go nuts over it.
Howard said they have a couple of new Robin songs. He played a new Little Mikey song parody about her cleavage to the tune of the Beatles ''Here Comes The Sun.'' Robin said she found it kind of boring. Howard didn't seem to think it was boring.
Howard read some feedback about the Jimmy Kimmel appearance. Howard read about Shuli sitting in and some people like him being in there. He said it's about 50/50 with people not liking him in there though. Someone suggested giving the chair to Sal. Howard said he had both great ones and horrible ones. Shuli asked why he would read the great ones. Howard read some more positive feedback and Shuli said that they should just end it at that.
Howard read another email where someone wrote about his ''storm arrogance.'' Howard said that this guy had water streaming through his electrical panel and his home would have burned down if he wasn't there. Howard said Richard Christy wrote a response to that and said that he had water coming into his apartment. Richard said their apartment would have been flooded. Howard said he claims thousands of dollars in damage would have happened. Howard said that it wouldn't have been that much. Robin said it would have been tens of dollars.
Howard said that someone wrote in about how Katy Sagal should be the new judge on America's Got Talent. Howard read some email about Scott DePace not showing up for work on Monday. Scott told Howard he was there yesterday. Shuli said he showed up for the last hour of the show.
Robin said that she's not sure why these people go back to their house if they think their family is in danger. Howard asked Scott why he would send the family to a hotel and stay at the house himself. Robin said that her B.S. meter was going off with Scott.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Howard is the only thing that keeps her from going mental. She said that if Howard hadn't shown up for work he would be getting the angry email. Howard said he knows that it would have been a shit storm if he didn't come in. The caller said that they make her day every day. Howard thanked her for the call. She was asking Howard to give a shout out to someone but Howard hung up on her. Howard said he hates shout outs and even hates the term.
Howard said Kelsey Grammer is his favorite weirdo. Howard said one of the Playmates tweeted out asking why Kelsey had a new born baby at the party. Robin said she read that Kelsey won't even be in a room where they have a photo of his ex-wife Camille. She said that he walked off the Piers Morgan show because they showed one. Howard said that guy is an angry dude.
Howard took a call from a guy, Shandor, who said he watched Kimmel last night with his mother and she's a new fan. Howard gave her a shout out. Howard said that's kind of weird that she likes him after seeing him on Jimmy Kimmel. He said maybe he was too nice on the show. Howard thanked the guy for the call.
Howard said he's pretty sure that most of the fans saw the show or they taped it. Gary said no one has power there so the staff probably didn't even see it. Gary said he wasn't able to TiVo it. Howard said he finds it weird to listen to it but he'll play some clips.
Howard played a clip where he comes out after Jimmy played a bit where he had gone to visit old friends and places he used to go. In the clip Howard told Jimmy that bit wasn't too long at all and he didn't fall asleep at all. Howard also said he was glad to be there in Brooklyn. He said he has been on the show before but over satellite. Howard said that it failed miserably. Howard said this is going horribly too. Howard said he was begging Jimmy to cancel the show and someone in the audience booed him. Howard told Jimmy about driving there and how all of the traffic lights were out. Howard said he isn't even sure why he's on if he's still on at 12:05. Jimmy said it's actually 12 on the dot. Howard goofed on the band too. They told Howard that they had played his theme song when he came out. Howard said he didn't recognize it.
Howard said that they have all of these bands in late night and none of them have parlayed it into any type of success. Howard said no one gives a shit about the bands. Shuli said that the Letterman band put together that Fab Faux band. Howard said that went really well.
Howard played another clip where Jimmy and Howard talked about how Howard complains about doing these shows for a week before he does them. Howard told Jimmy that he met his parents in the dressing room. He said his cousin Sal was back there too. He said Jimmy shouldn't make him do that. Jimmy said he caught Howard Purelling after shaking his parent's hands.
Howard said he can't get a hold of his parents. Howard said he tries calling them but the phone is busy. Howard said his mom won't use the cell phone all the time. He said they keep that in the car. Howard said the cell phone is one of those flip phones. Howard said he can't even text them on it. He said his mom doesn't like using it. He said it's like you get old and you become retarded. He said they don't like new things. He said he's told his dad about TiVo and he doesn't get it. He said he just doesn't want to deal with it. He said they still tape stuff on videotape. Howard said he's not even sure where they buy tapes. Howard said he's tried showing his dad about the TiVo and he just doesn't want to hear it.
Howard said his parents don't even have an answering machine. He said that Doug lives near his parents and he asked if he should drive over to see how they're doing. Howard said he thinks they're fine. He said he assumes that they have the phone off to save power. Howard said everything is doom and gloom with them. Howard said that his mother would rather have him thinking about her.
Howard said he called his parents and the phone was working gin the basement. Howard said the rest of the phones don't ring and they're hard of hearing. He said his mother needs a hearing aid. He said she just says ''what?'' when he tells her that. Howard said you should have heard her on the cell phone. Howard did an impression of his mother yelling into the cell phone. Howard said they won't even give him the number to that phone. Howard said they turn it off to save the power. Robin said they could do a number of things and leave it on for a certain time. Howard said they could charge it in the car. Robin said they should tell Howard they'll have it on from 12-2 or something. Howard said he knows they're okay because people always check in on them.
Shuli said his dad emails but he's not very good with computers. Howard said at least he uses one. Howard said his parents go out shopping and get their produce and blueberries. Howard said his dad talks about the blueberries coming from Chile. He did impressions of his mom and dad telling him about all of this stuff. Howard had them talking about going out for yogurt and coffee. Howard had his mom talking about the store they would get coffee from and how they'd bring it to the yogurt shop because it was better coffee. Howard said his dad would say that the Koreans don't seem to know how to make coffee. Howard said his dad talks about his mother getting three different flavors of yogurt. Howard said he's surprised they don't bring their own chairs to the place. Howard spent a few minutes doing that.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to a restaurant using clips of Howard doing his impressions of his parents talking about going out to eat their yogurt. Howard said he had to take a break after that. Robin asked Howard more questions about his parents so Howard did more of his impressions. Howard had his mom talking about his dad's sandwich and things like that. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that JD is upset that Disney bought Lucasfilm. Howard said that he's not sure why JD would be upset. Howard said in his opinion they could reinvent the Star Wars franchise. Howard said that Disney just puts up the money. JD said he's not that upset. He's not even a Star Wars guy. He said he thinks that Disney is more family oriented. Howard said that they're giving 2 billion in stock and 2 billion in cash to buy it. Howard said they could do something cool with the franchise. Shuli said that the Batman franchise was dying out and they reinvigorated that.
Howard said he ran into someone out on the street during all of this tumult. Howard said that's what Mitt Romney kept saying during the debate. Howard played a bit they put together with Mitt Romney and a President Obama impersonator.
Howard said he ran into Kevin Bacon and his wife Kyra Sedgwick. Howard said they were looking for a place to eat. Howard said he saw them and Kyra is so beautiful. He said she stops you in your tracks. Robin said she's an older woman now too. Howard said he thinks about fucking when he sees her. Howard said he told Kevin that his performance in X-Men First Class was great. He said it was so terrific. He said that Kevin spoke German and Russian and it was just seamless. Howard said that those movies are only good if you have a good villain. JD said he wasn't a big fan of that movie. Howard said the movie was fantastic. Robin asked if he watched it at regular speed or fast forward. JD told her to leave him alone. He said he watched it at regular speed. JD said he likes some comic book movies but he thought the first half of The Avengers was kind of boring.
Howard said Kevin told him about that role and he thought it was one of his best. Howard said Kevin had to learn some German and he went to this woman's house to learn the accent. He said the dogs the woman had would just sit there while he practiced. The woman told him that she's actually a dog trainer. Howard said the dialect coach was a dog trainer. Howard said it was very difficult to learn the language. Howard said he got to compliment the guy at least. JD was laughing so Robin asked what's wrong with him. JD said he's not a big foreign film guy.
Mitt said that everyone will be considered white when he's in office but some of us will be less so. He said that he would like to speak to the female listeners too. Mitt said that he is suave, debonair and he's kind of like George Clooney if he were a homophobe and a bigot.
Howard said Romney must be exhausted after running for office all these years. Mitt said it has been a long time. Mitt also said that Obama has to go and it's pretty amazing that he kept a job for four years.
Howard asked Mitt if he's looking forward to decorating the White House. Mitt said that they will be evicting a black family from the house so he's going to notice if any of the couches are missing. Mitt told Howard that he might keep them on as servants there.
Robin said one of her favorite things is to see Mitt and Barack talking when they meet. Mitt said they have to pretend they're great big pals but once the cameras are off that shit stops.
Howard asked Mitt what he waned to say to the audience who have been suffering through the hurricane. Mitt said that his magic underwear kept him dry and it's kind of like a diaper in that way. Howard said some people don't have the options that Mitt does. Mitt said he blames the president for the storm. He said that storm never would have happened if he weren't President. He said he must have upset the Muslim god of the sea or something. Howard thanked Mitt for calling in and asked why he's backing him. Mitt said that Obama is a piece of shit and he has to go. He added ''Fuck that guy! Vote for me.''
Howard said he loves that. He said when he campaigns in 2016 he's going to use that slogan. He said he had to go to break after that.
Howard said he loves JD. He asked when the new iMac is coming out. Howard said they have a new one coming out that's going to be super thin. Robin said she thinks it's coming out in November. Howard said he thought it was later than that. Robin said that they show it on the Apple web site as being available in November. Howard said he has an iMac but he's going to give that one to JD and buy a new one. Howard asked JD what he has at home.
JD said he has a laptop at home that he got back when he started working with Artie years ago. Howard said his iMac is just a few years old. Howard said he can have that one. He said he has the keyboard that's battery operated and it has a 21 inch screen. JD said that's fine, he'll take it. Howard said it has a mouse too. JD said sure. Robin asked if he has a desk. JD said sure. Howard said he has a box top. Howard said JD is his guy and he's going to give him that stuff. He said that he was going to give it to High Pitch Mike but he can go fuck himself.
Robin said she was thinking of getting that new laptop. She said she uses the little one all the time. Howard said she should stop doing that. He told her to cut it out.
Howard said things were looking good for this kid Conner. Robin said that he is a good looking kid. Howard said Taylor went and bought a compound next to the Kennedy's because she was so into this kid.
Howard played the top 5 songs. He had one from Ke$ha at number 5. Howard said that Taylor Swift was at number 4. Coming in at number 3 was the band Fun and at number 2 was Psy's ''Gangnam Style.'' Howard said he feels like dancing but he's exhausted. Howard asked where Lisa G is because he bets that she dances to that. Shuli told her to get those big boobs in there. Howard let the Gangnam Style play for a minute. Robin asked if he has another hit. Howard said that guy is in the room with the ''I'm Too Sexy'' guys wondering what went wrong. Howard said number 1 was Maroon 5. Howard said that Adam Levine is doing really well since he got on that show The Voice. Robin said that Christina Aguilera continues to amaze her with her voice. Robin said Adam is very good at telling the contestants what to do to change songs. She said he even sings it for them.
Howard asked Lisa if she sent her pictures to the book people. Lisa said she did send them to the publisher but she hasn't heard back yet.
Lisa said that Howard didn't explain how the Kimmel clan came in to see him last night. She said it was like a clown car and they were all walking in one by one.
Howard said he was at the Brooklyn Academy of Music to do the Kimmel show. Howard said first of all he doesn't know how to get anywhere. He said he's not even sure where he works. Howard said he is super embarrassed that he doesn't know his way around. Howard said he got lost jogging in Central Park the other day. He said he goes the same route every day. Howard said he told Beth he knew where he was but he really didn't.
Howard said it was big hassle getting to the Kimmel show. Howard said he had to go to the bathroom and he had to go up two flights to get there. Howard said he walked up and there was a men's room where there was a guy taking a shit. Howard said he won't pee at a urinal because someone might walk in and bother him. He said he was going to use the ladies room instead. He said there was a woman in there. He said he started having attitude so they cleared her out of there. He said that he had someone stand guard while he peed. Howard said he came back downstairs and walked into the dressing room. There were 12-15 people in the room and it was all of Jimmy's family. He said it's really weird.
Howard said he's not sure why it's okay for the family to just go into his dressing room. Howard said they were in there and they were all saying it's okay because it's Jimmy's family. Howard said he doesn't know Jimmy's family so it's not okay. Howard said he had to concentrate on what he was going to do before the show. Howard said he guarantees that Letterman wouldn't allow that.
Howard said he met Jimmy's mom and she's super hot. Howard said she's way too attractive. Howard said she's very young looking with big titties. Howard said she's very attractive. Howard said he expected some old bag to walk in. Howard said she was lounging in the dressing room. Howard said Jimmy's dad was there and looking very normal. Howard said he feels like his family is like the Munsters so he doesn't take them out. Howard said he saw this nice looking family and it was very strange. Howard said he would fuck Jimmy's mother. Robin let out an ''Oh!'' Howard said she's actually fuckable. Howard said she's a MILF.
Howard asked who let the family into the dressing room. Lisa said that it was his cousin but not his cousin Sal. Howard said everyone is family. Lisa said it was Uncle Frank's daughter who let them in. Howard said he's not being a snob but he just went through the apocalypse to get there.
Howard said he walked in and there were like 50 Kimmels there. Howard said next time Jimmy is there he's going to do the same to him. Howard said he's going to let like 50 people in to greet him.
Howard said Jimmy's father came in and they had aunts and uncles coming in and all of that. He said they were all perfect strangers. Howard said the mother and father were staring at him and he thought that he was supposed to entertain them or something. Howard said he told them that he loves their son. He said he was talking about how much he loves Jimmy's fiancee Molly and they said ''We do too.'' They didn't have a lot to say. Lisa said she heard all of this from outside of the dressing room. Howard said he ran out of things to say and Beth wasn't helping him out at all. He said he was all on his own with that.
Howard said that he walked into his dressing room for 5 minutes and all of these people piled in there. Howard said he tried making conversation but they really didn't say much. Howard said no one left the room even when he ran out of things to say. Howard said he didn't know what to do. Lisa said they were all leaning on the furniture. Howard said they were all getting comfortable. He joked that they were trying on his clothes. Howard said he's there for Jimmy and not for the family. Howard said he told the family that Jimmy is a great guy and he must have been raised by great people. Howard said he didn't know what to say after that. Howard said one of the cousins or aunts or uncles said that they should all go and they left. Howard said he's sure Letterman doesn't have that when he's there.
Howard said he's hoping that they all went over to Tracy Morgan's room. He said his cousin Sal came over again and he gave him a fist bump. He said he felt bad so he gave him a touch on the shoulder feeling bad he didn't shake his hand. He said he asked Sal if he works out because he didn't know what else to say.
Howard said he was trying to get in the spirit if the show but he doesn't know that it was the right time to meet the family. He said maybe at the wedding he could have said hello to them all.
Howard said he doesn't get the kind of action that Letterman gets. He said he's sure Dave doesn't have to go through that kind of nonsense. Howard said he told Jimmy on the show that familiarity breeds contempt. He said he wasn't sure he could get through the word ''Familiarity'' so he stopped himself. Howard said he was going to say it but he didn't think he could get through it... but then he did. Shuli said that he was having an argument with himself. Howard said he really was.
Robin asked if it was Howard's idea to switch seats. Howard said he did go over there to check out the set. He said that once he was there the stage director was only talking to him and not Jimmy. He said he had all of the power in that seat.
Howard said he really adores Jimmy and he's one of his dear friends. Howard said Beth is in love with Molly too. Howard said she talks about her every day like she's an angel. Howard said Beth loves Molly and she follows her on Twitter and all of that. Howard said that she really loves her. Howard said they have a nice friendship with them. He said it's like Rickles and Newhart. Howard said the only difference is that he's both Rickles and Newhart.
Howard said Jimmy is up to a lot of antics. He said they went on vacation with them once and Jimmy put on the staff outfit at the place they were staying and he was saying ''good day'' to everyone that walked by. He said it was pretty entertaining to watch but then he just went back to his hotel room to sleep.
Howard said that Jimmy has his hair filled in for his show. Lisa said that Jon Hein has that done for his TV show. Howard said he didn't know that. He wondered why Jon cares about his hair when he's so overweight. Howard saw Jon's press photo and said he looks like a Chia Pet. Howard said he has some facial expression too.
Gary told Howard that Beth just took credit for bringing the Kimmel family into the room. Howard said he should have known. Howard said he didn't know any of the family and he had nothing to talk to them about. Howard said he guarantees that Jimmy's family won't be bothering David Letterman.
Howard said Beth looked terrific there at the show. He said he should have banged her in the dressing room. Howard said he should have done it in front of the family. Howard said Beth wanted to sit in the audience to watch but they kept her in the dressing room.
Howard said Cousin Sal was there watching him talking to Jimmy's parents and eating popcorn. He said Sal was having a good time just watching. Howard said he has had Sal at his home. Howard said Jimmy told him that he was bringing someone to the house and he figured it was Clooney or Brad Pitt. He walks in with his cousin Sal.
Howard brought up Kevin Bacon again and said he deserves an Academy Award for that movie he mentioned earlier. Howard told JD to apologize to the Bacon family. JD was laughing and saying he didn't do anything wrong. Howard said that Kyra is crying in a corner somewhere because of what he said about that movie.
Howard said that Lisa was there at the show last night. Lisa said that she spoke to the family after they spoke to Howard. She said that Jimmy's mom was talking about how it melted her heart to meet Howard. Howard said she really is fuckable. Howard said he's going to put out a coffee table book with hot celebrity MILFs in it. Howard said he'd have Jimmy's mom spread eagle. Howard said that Lisa was there asking how he was feeling about going on Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he felt great of course.
Howard said he heard that Tracy Morgan almost didn't show up because his sharks almost died. Howard said he mentioned that to Tracy and Tracy said he didn't know what he was talking about. He said his sharks didn't die.
Howard said he got a nice note from Sarah Silverman this morning. She said that the two of them together was so great. Howard said he thought that was very nice of her. Robin said she is a cool chick. Howard said Jimmy and Sarah just weren't meant to be. Howard said that Molly and Jimmy seem to be kismet. He said that Sarah must have known that there was a Molly out there for Jimmy. Fred played some piano music and Howard sang a song about letting the one you love go. Howard said somewhere out there is a Molly for Sarah.
Lisa said the show should be called the Jimmy Kimmels show because there are so many of them. Howard said that would annoy him if his whole family was at his show all the time. Howard said that he heard Jimmy's wedding is going to be like 500 people. Howard said he's not sure if he's going to go. Howard said he'd rather just sit and watch and giggle. Howard said he thinks they're doing a whole formal thing.
Robin asked if Jimmy has other siblings. Howard said he doesn't know. Lisa said she knows. She said she heard it all. Lisa told Howard about the family she met and heard about. She said there are apparently people who say they're cousin's but they aren't really related.
Howard said he's sure that Lisa will cover all of that in the news today. Lisa asked if she can get back to work. Howard said he wants to see her dance to hip hop. Howard asked what hip hop is. Fred played a 50 Cent song for them. Howard asked what she's doing because she doesn't appear to be doing anything. Lisa said you keep your feel still and it's all upper body. Howard tried it and Shuli even got up and danced.
Howard said he looks like a giant spider dancing. He said he can't do what Lisa is telling him to do. He said he's just so white. He thanked Lisa for the lessons and let her go. Shuli told her to take those fun bags out. Howard told him to stop it. He said you'll have to buy her book. Howard said he asked her not to credit him on the cover of her book for the photos he took. Howard said he enjoyed taking those photos. Howard said he would have liked to have done Robin's too. Robin said he was busy with AGT and they were in a rush so she didn't ask. Howard said he saw Robin's book cover and he really liked it.
Mariann said that she was showing her love for Howard but getting on camera is showing her embarrassment for herself. She said she brought a Howard fan in with her and she was treated like a queen there. She said they gave her a $100 gift certificate too. Mariann said that Letterman treats them like shit but Jimmy's people treated them very well. She said the whole thing was great. Howard hung up on her as she was describing how great the experience was.
Howard said he has to tell the story about Mariann coming up there with Bobo. Howard said they have a photo booth out in the lobby there. Howard said Sirius doesn't have a lot of money and somehow they went ahead and purchased a photo booth machine. Howard said of all the things they need there that's the last thing. Howard said he has to pay for everything they want there but they can afford a photo booth.
Howard said they got the photo booth and they told everyone that it was only for A-list celebrities to take photos. Howard said Ross allowed Bobo and Mariann to go in there and take a photo. Howard said Mariann and Bobo took a picture and didn't like it. They took a second one and Ross flipped out on them for taking more than one. Howard said he's not sure why Ross is yelling at his guests. Howard said they reamed them for that. Howard said it can't be that expensive to take a photo in the photo booth. Howard said they should get it the fuck out of there if they don't want people using it. Howard said he can't be shitting on his superfans.
Gary told Howard that Ross somehow knows when a photo is printed. Jason said that he has the printer in his office. Gary said this has come up a couple of times. He said that Jason was told not to go near the machine but Rob Corddry came up and insisted that Jason be in the picture with him. Jason said that it's supposed to be celebrities taking photos and they can press release them. Gary said that the woman who does the press releases doesn't have any access to them.
Howard said he doesn't want his guests being yelled at by Ross. Jason came in and said that machine is Ross' baby. He said it looks like fun and inviting but they don't let people use it. He said that Mariann was almost in tears after being yelled at. He said this isn't the first time Ross has yelled at Mariann either. He said that Ross grabbed her out of the line for a Town Hall and told her that ''this is not for you.'' Jason said that she has a ball there in their compound but then she gets yelled at out in the lobby.
Jason said that Mariann told him that Ross thought she had snuck up there and wanted to be part of the Town Hall. Howard said everyone hyper focuses on him there.
Jason said he got yelled at by Ross after he took a photo in the photo booth. He said they told him that he isn't talent even thought he sign said that it's for talent. Howard said that he'd like to know why they treat his staff like that. Jason said that they don't like him anymore. Jason said that they can't even book a studio anymore. He said it's very hard so they have to do GEEKTIME from a closet.
Howard played some of Bobo complaining about being yelled at. Howard told Sal and Richard to go out and take a picture of their cock and balls in the photo booth. Howard said that's the way they'll do things around there. Robin said that is the craziest place. Richard came in and said that he's all up for it but he doesn't want to get fired. Richard said they're not allowed to be nude in the lobby. Howard said they should bring that photo booth in there.
Sal said that he wants to spread his ass open for it. Howard told him to go do it. Richard said he's going to have his cock in his asshole. Howard told them to go do it. He said they can go do that and show Ross. Howard said they're back and better than ever.
Ronnie came in and said that the machine isn't on. He said they have to open it up and turn it on. He said you can't even turn it on now. Sal whipped his cock out and asked if he can't do this. Ronnie said he'll rip that thing right off. He whacked him with his walkie talkie. Howard told them to practice and not swallow it all. Robin asked when the machine gets turned on. Ronnie said they only turn it on when they have a town hall meeting there. Howard said he can't wait until Ross finds out what the next pictures are going to be.
Howard played Bobo's voice mail for Gary about Ross yelling at them. Bobo said they were up there to shoot some stuff for Howard TV. He said they saw the Photo Booth and they were told to stay away from it. He said they asked Ross if they could use it and Ross said they could take a picture. He said they set it up and took a couple of pictures. Then Ross came running down the hall screaming and yelling at them. Howard said they should get rid of that thing.
Gary said that security is out there and they won't let them fuck with the machine. Gary said that Mariann was so upset that she sent Ross $20 to cover the cost of the photos. Howard asked where Ross is anyway. Gary said he'll be in soon. Howard said that they really should get rid of that machine. He said he's not sure how they figure out who is an A-List guest. Howard said Sylvester Stallone would be allowed to use it but not Jim Florentine. Howard asked if Frank Stallone can use it if he comes in with Sylvester. Robin said if he's alone they won't let him use it. Howard said he's going send Chuck Zito in to take pictures and have him take 5,000 of them. Howard said he'd like to see Ross yell at Chuck Zito. Howard said he wants to see someone stop him. Gary said they can't even turn the machine on though.
Robin said that she heard that Tom Green was in the photo booth. Howard asked why they need it. Robin said she heard Jaime Lynn Siegler was in the booth and took 6 pictures. Robin said Victoria Justice took them too.
Jason said that Ross has yelled at him and he gets in your personal space. Howard told Jason to call him next time he yells at him. Jason said he hasn't yelled at him in over a year but he did call him unprofessional. Gary said he called him that for goofing on him on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said that Ross is a vice President and he thinks that he shouldn't be yelling at him.
Robin said that Bill Nye was allowed to take photos in the photo booth. Howard said they have to get Ross in there to tell them who is allowed to take a picture in there. Howard said he heard that the dog from the movie ''The Artist'' was allowed to take a picture in the booth. Howard told Jason to get someone in there whenever he gets a chance. He said they should take homeless people and throw them in there. Howard said he's going to buy one and compete with that one. Gary said they'll say ''all welcome.''
Jason asked if they can banish Ross from the bathroom back there again. Howard said they have to hear his side of the story. Howard said that the tides are shifting there so they should be on good behavior. Howard said they can keep fist bumping him. Howard said he always wins there. He said that he will win again.
Gary said he once had an executive who was shorter than him get into his personal space by getting on a couch. He said he anted to put his finger in his face so he got up on a couch and started poking him in the face. Gary said he started to walk out the door and the guy was trying to block him so he hip bumped him into the couch. Howard said he and John Hayes came to blows one time. Gary said he was there for that. He said it was very weird.
Howard and Gary talked about the time he was fired by John Hayes. they were supposed to be fired the Friday before they were fired. There was a hurricane that Friday and Howard came into work while management stayed home. Howard was bashing them on the air and then the following Monday they were fired. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said it was time for news with Robin. Fred said they had to do a live commercial first. Howard read through the live commercial and then asked Robin to do her news. Fred played her in with a ''Robin's Gash'' Halloween song parody about Robin to the tune of Monster Mash.
Robin asked how many pieces of candy a child gets on Halloween. Howard guessed 50. Robin said that's wrong. She said on average they get about 90 pieces average.
Robin said they plan to execute a guy on Halloween in Texas. Robin said they'll probably end up making a movie about that. Robin said this guy is scheduled to die by lethal injection tonight in Pope County. Howard said that really does sound like a movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they had hurricane coverage last night in Pittsburgh so he didn't get to see the Kimmel appearance. Howard said that's too bad. He said he did think about that when he was doing the taping. He said the show was on there in New York though.
Robin said that the Jersey Shore cast have said they're heart broken about seeing the devastation there in New Jersey. She had some audio of JWoww talking about that on Jay Leno's show last night.
Howard took a call from Bobo and said he thought his therapist told him to stop listening to the show. Bobo said the show is his therapy. He said he listens to the show until 10:30 or 11 and then goes on with his day. He said he did scale back but he wants to be involved. Bobo brought up the Ross and photo booth thing so Howard told him they're off of that now.
Robin said that Jackie's jetty is missing and he's asking for people to help find it. Robin said that Jackie has asked anyone who finds it to email him. Howard said Dominic stole that thing once and Jackie was really upset about it. He said he had this piece of shitty wood in the disgusting water near his house that he would swim out to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to nominate him for douche of the week. He said he was beating up on Doug and Gary and everyone else. Howard said that he wasn't beating up on them. He said he just told them that he's going in to work and they got all upset. The caller said that what they're hearing is that he's being disparaging to them. Howard said he doesn't care what he thinks. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell the guy. He said that he holds nothing against the guys. Robin said they had dropped it and the caller brought it up again. Howard let the guy go a short time later.
Robin had some audio of Jimmy Kimmel being back on the air last night. She had some clips of Jimmy and Tracy Morgan talking about the hurricane. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin said with the power out there are a lot of stores not open in the city. Robin said there was only one Starbucks that was open and people were flocking to it. Robin said they're not even sure where they're getting power. Robin said the gas stations in New Jersey aren't open so there were long lines at the stations that were open. Robin said that they were all trying to fill up gas cans to get their generators running. Robin said that some people didn't even have gas cans. Robin said you don't think about all of this stuff. Robin said it really is like that show Revolution. Howard said you can't even shave when the power goes out.
Robin read about the damaged construction crane that's just dangling on 57th street. Robin said that they're saying that something should have been done with it before the hurricane. Robin had some audio of an official talking about how they should have lowered the angle of the boom at least. Robin said their greatest fear is that the crane will fail and fall. Robin said some buildings were evacuated because of that fear that it may fall.
Robin read about the problems at the New Jersey shore and how some people are stuck. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about how some of the water is trapped and now they have to pump it out. Robin said that some people had to be plucked off the roofs of their houses because they refused to evacuate before the storm. Robin said you don't stay where things might go down hill quickly. Robin said that the death toll is up to 50 people now. She said that they're also saying that this could be the most expensive storm damage ever. Howard said that it is tremendous damage and people are suffering. Robin said that power is out and it may remain that way for quite some time. Howard said Doug Goodstein has been protecting his family from all of that. Howard said he's like Superman. Howard said he was right on the scene helping every minute.
Robin read about how the president is going to be flying into New Jersey to evaluate the damage. Howard said Chris Christie is a very natural speaker and he's been great during this whole thing. Howard said that Bloomberg has been terrific too. He said Bloomberg told the president to stay away because it makes things worse when he visits. Howard did another live commercial after that.
Robin said they're saying that Chris Christie is going to change Halloween to Saturday in New Jersey. Howard said maybe they could skip the day all together. He said that you can't change Halloween. Robin said you can. Howard said he'll have candy tonight but not a week from now. Howard said you just talk to the kids and let them know. Shuli said you just get them next year.
Howard said he doesn't think he can take another minute of Richard's pumpkin perfume. He said it's stinking up the halls out there. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about safety tips for Halloween trick or treaters. They say that more kids are killed on that day than any other. Howard said that they should end Halloween. He said it's a day for creeps. He said that kids take candy from strangers on Halloween. He said kids should just stay home.
Robin read about the Halloween parade and wondered if that was canceled. Gary said Richard knows about it. Howard said he really doesn't care. He said that he's probably bringing his fish to the parade with him.
Robin had some audio of someone who was giving advice on how to handle insurance claims during this disaster. Howard said that the insurance company is going to assume you're a crook and you're lying.
Robin said that some of the amusement park rides don't accommodate larger people. Robin said a woman wants them to start putting weight restrictions on the rides. Robin said that this woman tried to ride and the lap belt wouldn't buckle. Gary came in and said that he wasn't allowed to do any activities on his honeymoon because of his weight. He wasn't allowed to go horseback riding or paragliding. Howard said it's good that they embarrass people like that. He said maybe they'll lose some weight if they do that. Howard said these assholes sue because they're embarrassed. Jason said that it's his fault that he's fat so he accepts that. Jason said they took all of the brochures at the hotel and they ended up chucking most of them. Jason said he was probably at his heaviest when he got married. He said that his wife knew what she was getting into. He said his wife started gaining weight and she noticed that so she started eating healthier. He said he eats a lot less junk food now. Jason said he's not dieting but he's trying to eat like a normal person. He still can't go horseback riding though.
Gary said he saw a guy on an airplane who refused to take a seat belt extender even though he wasn't able to get his belt buckled. He said he fought it until he finally got it buckled.
Shuli said he worked at the airport pushing people around in wheelchairs and most of them were just fat. He said they would ask him to swing by Burger King on the way to the gate. Then they'd give him a quarter as a tip.
Robin said that the clocks are getting set back this weekend. Robin had to explain to Howard that he was gaining an hour of sleep. Howard said he can't figure out the simplest things.
Robin said that the Jaguars are trying to get Tim Tebow. Robin said they were trying to go after someone else and that was unsuccessful.
Robin said that Rod Stewart has put out a Christmas CD. Howard said that smells like a guy who isn't desperate. Robin had some of his music and Howard said it sounds like Gange singing. Howard did his impression of Gange singing the same song.
Robin had some audio of Don Cheadle talking about his new movie. Howard lasted about 3 seconds with that. Howard got back to his Rod Stewart/Gange impression.
Robin read about Taylor Swift's new special that's coming up. Robin had some audio of her singing one of her songs on Dancing with the Stars.
Robin asked Howard what's going to happen with newspapers. Howard said the newspaper will always have a place in their society. Howard said there will be one in each city. Robin said that they say they're down overall for the same period in 2011. Howard said that dogs need newspaper to shit on. Howard said there is still a need for that experience. He said you need to hold that in your hand and feel it. Howard said he reads CNN and all of that but he thinks that newspaper will be around for a long, long time. Howard said as he said that 5 newspapers closed.
Robin wrapped up and Howard said he wanted to talk to Ross about the photo booth thing. Howard said that Robin won't be part of that because she has an appointment to get to. Howard read a live commercial after that. Howard thanked Shuli for sitting in this week.
Ross told Howard that the photos are a dollar a piece. He said they have budgets around there. He said he told Mariann and Bobo to take one each. He said they were going back and forth taking pictures. He said he came out and said he felt bad that they wanted to take pictures. He said he told them to take one but they took advantage. Ross said that it's not just A-list celebrities.
Ross said that if Frank Stallone came in he could take a picture. He said that he would love to let the employees to be able to take photos but if they run out of paper and a celebrity will take a shot then they're out of luck. He said that they have some celebrities take shots and they use it as a shtick there. Ross said that there is no conspiracy there. He said any guest who comes on the airwaves is allowed to use the photo booth.
Howard asked Jason what happened to him. Jason asked Howard to tell Ross to be this rational all the time. He said Mariann was the one in tears when he saw her. Ross said he thought he was reasonable with her. He said he did feel bad when he said he had to treat them like children. Howard asked Jason why he got yelled at. Jason said Ross came out yelling about how it was for talent and guests only. Jason said he is talent and then Ross told him he's not talent. He said they even changed the sign after that.
Ross said that Jason came in the first day it was there and he was trying to get them under control. Jason said he yelled at Brian Phelan too. Ross said that was the same day. Jason said this Ross on the air is a different guy. He said this is the Ross he would like. He said he has seen Ross yell at people on top of desks before.
Howard had Bobo on the line and he said that Ross embarrassed them in front of everyone and he reduced Mariann to tears. Bobo said that he didn't say just take one picture. He said they took a couple and he didn't know that was going to put Sirius in the red. Howard said that they don't know that they can only take one. Howard said the better thing to do would be to just tell them that it's expensive to take pictures and ask them to please stop.
Howard said Ross is a hot head. Ross asked Bobo if he should have just walked away when Mariann said she wanted to take one picture. Howard said he's not sure why they need a $10,000 photo booth. Jason said they have a step and repeat thing where people get their pictures taken. Ross said they felt it was something for people to do there.
Mariann called in and said that Ross said ''take a picture'' and she didn't know that he meant just one. She said Ross treated her like shit that time and also the time Chris Martin was there in the fish bowl. Mariann said that she was told by someone who was with Chris Martin that she could take a picture with him and Ross pulled her out of the line.
Ross said that no one from Chris Martin's camp told him it was fine. Mariann went off on Ross about that. Ross changed the subject to Chris Martin again and Ross said she's right and this isn't worth arguing over.
Mariann said that she brought sandwiches up there for Ross and he took some. Mariann asked if she said take one or not. Ross said that he took one. He said he didn't take more than one. She said that Ross is a phony and he's not nice. She said that he pulled her off that Chris Martin line and that wasn't right. She said she will never speak to him again because he's nasty and he doesn't treat her with respect.
Mariann said that the booth should be open for the staff and everyone there instead of the 99 cent stuff they have hanging up there.
Bobo asked why they spent the money on that booth and not on Howard's phone system. Howard told Ross how he could have handled this situation. He said that people don't know. Ross said he told them that they should take ''a picture'' but he's very sorry for the whole thing. Ross said that there was more to the Chris Martin thing than Mariann knows.
Howard asked if he's sorry he put in the photo booth. Ross said he's not at all. Howard asked Ross if he can see what's going on in the photo booth from his office. Ross said someone else told him about it getting out of hand. Howard thanked Ross and let him go. Howard said he's still his friend. He said that he's slimmed down and looking good too. Howard said this has been an exhausting week. He said he hopes everyone is safe and sound. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
Gary said that he didn't sleep last night. He said he felt like there was a giant boulder on his chest. He said he isn't looking for arguing.
Gary said that they're not taking sides in all of this. He said he's not sure how to handle that kind of thing. Benjy said that Howard said he didn't hold it against them but he does seem to have a problem with it.
Benjy said that one thing he got out of it is that he doesn't care about it as much as Howard does. He said it's not that big of a deal to him. He said that Howard cares about this show so much and it's like his life and death thing.
Jon said that Howard was in the city and it was easier for him to come in but the thing that got under his skin was people saying that he doesn't get it. Gary said he regretted saying that they don't have the same circumstances. Gary said what he was trying to say is that he should put himself in the same circumstance. Gary said Howard has family but they're not at a house on Long Island or Connecticut. He said he just wanted him to understand his circumstance.
Jon asked if Howard would have been there if he was in that situation. Gary said he thinks he would but it might be a harder decision.
Jon called Ross over and said he felt he handled himself very well with the photo booth thing. Jon said that it's no secret that he and Jason despise one another. He said they were very civil. Gary said that he wasn't like Robo Ross and it wasn't as much fun on the air as the old Ross. Ross said he didn't hear the story earlier in the show so he wasn't sure who started it.
Gary said that Bobo left a voice mail and then Jason came in and gave a short history about the booth and who was allowed to go in it or not. Then Bobo called in and said that he should take anger management classes.
Jason said he likes getting the Howard Stern treatment. He said that Ross can get loud but today he was treated with respect and that's how he imagines that he treats Howard. Jason said he just wants to be treated nicely.
Ross asked why Jason wasn't there yesterday. Jason said he wasn't able to get into the city. Ross said that they take shots at him for not coming in on Fridays and he's just wondering why Jason wasn't there since he doesn't have a family to take care of. Jason said that he disagrees with him.
Gary asked if Ross' wife is his family. Ross said she is and he'd like to retract that. Ross said that he should have stepped up and been there. Jason said he will always choose his wife and family over the show. He said he felt his wife needed him more than the show did. He said if Howard has a problem with that then he can take it up with him.
Gary said that Ross is very calm today. Jason said this must be the Ross that Howard hangs out with. Jason said he has seen Ross on a table yelling at people. Ross said that was one time and he was on the speaker phone and he got up on the table and yelled. He said he was sitting on the edge of the table and he got up and got closer to the phone and thought that he should get up crawl on the table.
Jason asked if he's on some kind of antidepressants. Ross said he's not on anything at all. Gary was kind of intrigued about Ross' behavior too. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that it comes down to people not wanting to let Howard down. Jon said if you physically can't get in there then they feel that it's going to be held against you down the road. Ross said that when you let someone down you always wonder about that.
Gary asked if they think that any of this is a bit. Jason said he thinks it is. He said Howard keeps dragging it on and on. He said if Howard looks at the guys who showed up like JD and Steve, they have no family. He said Howard lives in town and the other guys don't have a wife or kids at home. Gary said Shuli has a kid and lives outside of the city. Jason said that Shuli is desperate for a job and he left home with tears in his eyes on Sunday.
Gary said by Tuesday morning the storm had kind of passed. He said on Sunday night he left home with a bag packed. He said if he had stayed in the city there was a very good chance that he wouldn't get home until Wednesday. Ross said that Gary is like the best parent on the staff. He said that Howard knows deep down that his wife and kids are going to come first. Gary said that he's not a poseur and he didn't just do this for the storm. He thinks that's what Ross is trying to say.
Ross said that the other guys could have stepped up and showed Howard what they could do. Jason said Howard gives him accolades on the show every day. He said that if Howard said he wanted him to be there then it would have been a different conversation. Jason said Howard didn't say they couldn't do the show without him. Ross said if he's next in line for the throne then he should be there for Howard. Jason said if Howard said he needed him to be there then maybe he would have had a longer talk with his wife. He said that he wanted to be around his wife and at home and not in a hotel room. Jason said he would have had to bring his wife and pets to stay in the hotel with Will and his wife and child. That's what he was told.
Jason said that he's accused of being a kiss ass all the time and he wasn't going to come in that day. He said that he's in Hoboken and it's a disaster area there except in the 3 block area of his home. Jason said he couldn't leave his wife at home alone. He said Shuli must have a stronger constitution than he does.
Jon moved on to talk to Richard and asked about what Howard was saying about how disappointed in him Howard was. Richard said Howard seems disappointed in him a lot of the time. Gary said that they would all probably say that Howard was most disappointed in them. Richard said Howard thinks he's kind of retarded anyway. Jon said that Robin was really going off on him today. Richard said he said the wrong thing and made her angry. Richard said he was going to try and just say he was sorry but then he defended himself and it backfired.
Gary said Robin seemed angrier about it than Howard. Richard said Robin once said that no one would care if he died. He said he's used to being ripped into by her. Gary said that Robin was so angry. Scott DePace said that she has venom about this. He said that maybe money does come into it. He said that some of them are very protective of their stuff. He said if Robin's home washed away then she'd just buy another one.
Jason said that he could be there for his wife and hold her hand when the power goes out. Jason said that Robin has a lot of opinions about people who have loved ones but maybe she should find a loved one before she goes off on them about that.
Gary said that he was home and the lights started smoking. He said he was there for that and that's why. He said they weren't in any danger but he was there to tell his wife that the lights popping weren't dangerous. He said that he was there to comfort her.
Doug Goodstein said that they were told that the safest place was at home. Doug said he has two little kids and you need a parent for each of them. He said that's why he was home.
Jon said they could have brought their kids into the city. Scott asked why Jon was let off the hook. Jon said he wanted to be with his family. He said he made that decision to be home.
The guys were talking about Robin's perspective and how she was trying to paint them as people who wanted to take a day off. Gary said he doesn't think that anyone in that room wanted to do that. Jason said he worked yesterday from home. He said he logged the show until his phone ran out of power.
Gary said that they don't get a lot of days off there. He said that Jon worked on a pretty holy holiday. Jason said he did too. Richard said today is a religious holiday for him but he's working.
Gary said that he realized that he had to get out of the neighborhood around 11 yesterday. Gary said there are 3 large trees down in front of his house. He said he had to go around a low hanging wire to get around that. He said he had to get his car under the wire so he had his son Lucas holding the wire up while he drove under it. Jon said that might hurt his ''best parent'' status on the show. Scott asked if Howard would go under that wire. Gary said no. Scott said he had to drive under a falling tree and if he had hit a branch it could have fallen on his car.
Jason said he had to spend $70 on a cab to get to work this morning. He said that's almost as bad as a tree falling on him.
High Pitch Mike came in and said that he works for Sirius radio so he doesn't work for Howard. He wanted to remind Howard of that. Gary said Doug doesn't work for Howard though. He works for In Demand. Mike said that Howard doesn't know a lot about a lot of the people there. He said he cares for a child during the week and Howard doesn't know that. Mike said he has other things than just this show. He said not everyone knows he has a kid at home.
Gary said that he would give Mike a word of advice. He said when you start tweeting it then it can get out of hand. Mike said he'll get rid of it then. Jason said if Gary is encouraging him to get rid of Twitter then he should get rid of it.
Gary said that Tweeting something like that out is out of their world. Mike said that the shows they did on Monday and Tuesday could have been done on a Thursday and Friday. Gary said Howard does shows when he wants to do the shows. Mike said that they shouldn't be ridiculed and slammed for not coming in when they don't come in. Gary said that's fair for him to say there but maybe keep it off of Twitter. Jason said that's what he'd advise too. They ended the show a short time later around 11:15am.
Thanks for visiting.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:50am.