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Playboy Cyber Club
(Just about everything)
Howard started the show talking about how he got up early and watched a video online. He said he saw a Traveling Willburys documentary. He said that it was free for a day or something like that. He said the documentary was really good. Howard explained who was in the band and how cool the show was. Howard said they showed them working on each song they created and it was really cool to watch. He said he loves watching musicians working and wishes he had a talent like that. He said he's very envious watching something like that. Howard said they're all amazed by each other and their talents. He said he's not sure how you get to the link but it might be through Tom Petty's web page. Howard said he was reading Bob Lefsetz site and found out about it. He said he'll have the guys put up the link today somewhere.
Howard said they're saying that Benjy was the one who said ''Bye, bye pervert'' but that was not Benjy. Howard said that was someone else. Howard said Benjy had nothing to do with that. Howard said as soon as Benjy heard that he went into action and started screaming his own stuff.
Howard said this is like when you hear someone coughing during a play when other people hear that one cough and then they start coughing. It's like that or when you're in a war and the general tells you to not shoot and then one person shoots and everyone starts shooting.
Benjy told Howard that they were told that Weiner wasn't going to be taking questions. He said he was torn about when to ask questions. He said he kept turning back and looking at Lisa G to figure out when to do it. He said he had to decide it himself. He said he wanted him to resign first and then he'd do it. Gary asked if he could get closer to the mic. He said he couldn't hear him. Howard said he was on the mic and it was turned up. Benjy got closer.
Benjy said he wasn't sure when to yell out the questions so he kept holding off. He said Lisa told him he had to decide for himself when he'd turn to her. Benjy said he waited for Weiner to resign and then he started yelling them out.
Howard said Benjy was credited with the ''bye, bye pervert'' thing but he didn't do it. Benjy said he's been told who it was but he doesn't know for sure who it was. He said that this guy has done things like that before and he's an independent reporter. Benjy said he doesn't want credit for that.
Howard said that Gayle King never has anything bad to say about anyone but she was against what Benjy did because she thought he was the ''pervert'' guy. Howard said he didn't see this live but he knew Benjy wanted to get something going so he approved the questions he had.
Howard said he didn't think it was effective doing the press conference. Howard said he should have just issued a statement. When you do it in front of reporters you do it because you're there to answer questions. Howard said Benjy wasn't out of bounds. He said that Weiner could have gone on a TV show or he could have said there wouldn't be any questions and answers. Howard said it was strange to hold a press conference.
Howard said that Benjy didn't interrupt anything and there shouldn't be so much controversy. Howard said that people think he ruined a great moment but the whole thing was bizarre. Howard said Weiner didn't have to hold the press conference. He said he could have stood there and answered questions. Howard said he shouldn't hold a press conference if you're not going to answer questions. Howard said he could have released that over the internet. He said this was set up and cringe worthy. He said that Benjy wasn't the problem. He said the guy who held the press conference was the problem.
Howard said he has the feed from the back of the room where they can hear Benjy. He said on TV it wasn't so clear. Howard said if he was there he would have told Benjy to wait until more toward the end. Howard said that it was a tough call though. Howard said if someone else starts yelling then maybe he did it at the right time. Benjy said he felt weird interrupting. Howard said he gets that. He said he would feel weird too.
Howard said he wanted to start with the press conference clips first. Howard said he would hold off on the Gayle King clips. He said that they try a lot of things on their show but Gayle King doesn't do anything new. He said they're out there doing things for the show and not everything is going to be good for Gayle King. Howard said there are those that do and those who comment on those people who do. Howard said for her to sit there and have this reaction is crazy.
Howard said the best reaction was Alex Bennett who thinks that he influenced him when he was coming up in his career. Howard said he criticized the whole thing and commented on it. Howard said he should go out and do something before he criticizes them. Howard said that Alex works there at Sirius and he said he was embarrassed to work there because of that. Howard said the guy wouldn't have a job if he wasn't there to make Sirius what it is.
Robin said this guy Weiner is a public servant and he has to answer to the public. She said that Benjy asking questions isn't wrong.
Howard said that there is a plan for Weiner. He will write a book in about 3 weeks. He said that he'll begin writing that and he'll do a sit down interview with someone. Howard said there are some people at the Al Gore network who think that Weiner should have his own show. Howard said Keith Olberman was already talking about that. Howard said he will end up with a book and a TV show.
Howard said Elliot Spitzer has a TV show and it seems like everything is washed away now. He said that he'd like to know what he thinks about this Weiner thing. Howard said these people who are so against what Benjy did are wrong. He said he's against these public figures who get dressed up in a suit and tie and you're supposed to take them seriously. Howard said they make it so you can't even bring it up.
Howard said he had the audio of Benjy yelling from the back of the room. He played the clip where you can hear Weiner resign and then Benjy yelling ''No, no, no...'' Then Benjy starts yelling out his questions like ''Were you fully aroused?'' and ''Are you more than 7 inches?'' The reporters around him were all yelling at him to shut up. Benjy just kept yelling.
Howard said that it was for shame that the rest of the reporters didn't interrupt the press conference. Howard said Benjy was yelling that he was sorry too. The reporters were telling him to be quiet. Then Benjy yells out asking if he's going to maintain his hot physique and smooth, sexy chest.
Howard said that's not a ridiculous question. Howard said that's the only valid question. He wondered what else you'd ask a guy who did what Weiner did. Howard said that those questions were relevant. Howard said he was wondering if he would let his body go to crap now that he can't Tweet pictures of it. Howard said he thought the questions were solid and he thought that Benjy would be asking them during a question and answer thing. He said it was a press conference after all.
Howard said Benjy was escorted out of the conference. Benjy said they had a press area for him outside. He said he thinks that they were trying to protect him there. Howard had audio of Benjy's press conference outside. Benjy was giving out his Twitter account (@bronk) and telling people what his name is. Then he was telling the kids who were there to be allowed to the front of the crowd. Benjy was saying that the kids are the future and had them repeating after him.
Howard said the kids sounded like they were interrupting his press conference. Howard said there was a lot of press there listening to his every word. Benjy was telling people from Inside Edition he loves them. Someone asked if he lies about his age. Benjy said he does. Lisa G asked some questions about what he was going to do and Benjy said he was going to run to replace ''Senator'' Weiner. Other reporters were asking why he interrupts every time Weiner has a press conference. Benjy said he was trying to get to the truth and get some time on camera.
Howard said Benjy is a lunatic. He had audio of someone asking if he was going to apologize to some reporter for interrupting her. Other reporters were asking about why he would do this during a serious thing like that. They were going off on him saying that it's not good and it's not funny. One guy said that Howard would say it's not funny. Howard said it wasn't funny but only because you couldn't hear the questions on air.
Howard said an audio engineer came up to Benjy and threatened to break his legs if he ever does that again. Howard said someone should find out who that is. He said that they were complaining about Benjy fucking up their audio by yelling out. Howard said Benny is out of control and insane. He said they didn't miss anything from Weiner.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that the first guy who interrupted Benjy got interviewed and then the second guy did too. He said it just kept spreading. Howard said he might want to track down that audio engineer to hire him. He seems to take his job very seriously. Doug said the whole thing was nuts down there because one guy said he worked for a Japanese news place and the reporters were asking him what he does there.
Howard said Benjy is a loose cannon and he doesn't let him out like that all the time. Howard said he didn't anticipate all of this. Howard said he heard that Benjy was going to go over there and he told him not to interrupt.
Howard said he used to go to press conference with a megaphone and yell out questions. He did that with David Letterman once. He said he got threatened at one press conference by a guy who had an eye patch. Howard said that was pretty scary. Howard said they all think that this is all serious stuff.
Howard said that NBC was covering the press conference live and they cut into it when Benjy started yelling. He said they must have thought there would be cursing. Howard said it's weird that they cut away like that.
Howard played the audio of NBC breaking into their regular programming and then Benjy starts yelling and they cut right away from that. After Benjy yelled out a couple of his questions NBC cut and threw it to Brian Williams.
Howard said he couldn't even watch the clips he was getting that day. He was cringing when he heard about what Benjy did. Robin said she was wondering if he was there. She didn't know he had gone down there.
Howard played a compilation of clips where reporters were commenting on what Benjy was saying. Some of them weren't sure who it was. They were saying they couldn't repeat what he said and things like that. They were saying that they missed out on what Weiner was saying. Howard said they didn't miss anything. He wasn't going to say anything.
Howard said he doesn't think that Weiner expected anything else other than this zoo. He said the whole thing is insane. Howard played more of the audio and one reporter said this might help Weiner.
Howard played some audio of people responding to what Benjy did. There were people responding to what Benjy did when they found out that he was from Howard Stern's show. Howard said there are so many people who ride on his shoulders there at Sirius. Howard said that if he's so embarrassed he can leave. He said that no one is looking for him anywhere else though.
Howard played another clip of a report about Benjy being from his show. One reporter said he was the one who yelled out ''Bye, bye pervert'' but he didn't do that. Howard said he doesn't think that the Benjy thing was funny because it wasn't mic'd properly. He said it's funny if you hear it from Benjy's point of view.
Howard played some other responses to this. He had some clips from some news programs where they were wondering where this guy was from. Howard said he thinks that Benjy saved the whole thing. He said it was pretty mundane until Benjy did what he did. Howard said that they didn't miss anything with Weiner. He said the guy resigned and that was it.
Howard played the audio of Gayle King going off on Benjy. She thought that he was the one who yelled out the pervert comment. Gayle had it all wrong. Howard said it wasn't Benjy. Gayle was saying that it's not right to do something like that. She said that he was trying to have a little bit of dignity there. Gayle said she thought it was unfortunate that this happened to Weiner. Howard said they got it wrong when they said it was Benjy with the perfect comment. Howard said he did ask about the penis size. Gayle said that she and Howard are friendly. Howard said they are. They've hung out together. Gayle was saying that she has nothing negative to say about Howard but she doesn't understand why he would want a lot of attention for something like this. Howard said he didn't want him yelling out during the press conference but Benjy made the call to do it.
Howard said they do have a new fan in Ann Coulter. He said she liked this whole thing. He played some audio of her reacting to it. Coulter was saying she has never loved Howard Stern so much after hearing that. Howard said at least she had a sense of humor about it.
Howard played more of the audio of Bennett going on and on about Weiner's press conference. He said he didn't have to do it in front of people. He said this fucking asshole Benjy Bronk got up and yelled things out about his penis being erect and those things. Bennett said that this behavior is so tired and worn out. Howard just laughed. Bennett said that he thought he was the old fart thinking it was wrong. He said this kind of radio went out 15 years ago. He said now it's just stupid and wrong. Bennett said he should have let him go out with some dignity.
Howard said he's the one who invented this. He said it's not a stunt. He said he used to do this himself and he'd go out and yell things out. Howard said he would wear his tape recorder and yell out things that are inappropriate. He said it's not ''stunting'' like Bennett had called it. Howard said if it's old then it's old. Who cares. He said that he loves it all. Howard said he loves phony phone calls and he loves going out to press conferences and doing stuff. Robin said she loves the reaction from these people who think Weiner was being honest.
Howard said that Alex should know this. Sirius is Howard 100, 101 and the Raw Dog Comedy channel. They could take away everything else and they'd have just as many subscribers. Howard said that those are the only 3 channels that matter. Howard said for the rest, like Alex, they aren't needed there. Howard said this guy is embarrassed by where he works so he should leave now. Howard said they'd lose 0.0 people if he was gone. Howard said he should pray to Jesus Christ that they keep doing things like this so he can continue to broadcast to no one. Howard said Alex will be doing a podcast with the rest of them if he doesn't keep doing this.
Howard said he didn't mean to say ''fucking Jesus Christ'' earlier. He said that he loves Jesus and didn't mean to offend. He said that he has some problems with the catholic church but not with Jesus. He didn't want to bum anyone out with their religion. Howard said Bennett should ''...fucking pray to Jesus...'' Howard said they're trying to keep things going there and that's why they do things like this. He said it wasn't a catastrophe.
Howard played more audio of Bennett going off on Benjy and Howard. One of his sidekicks was asking if they knew what Howard had to says about it. Bennett said that Howard wasn't on the air that day, like he's not on the air most days. Howard said the days he's on the air are relevant and the days Alex is on the air are irrelevant. Bennett was saying that Howard should fire Benjy if he can't control him. Howard said he can't control Alex either so maybe he should be fired. Alex said that he was embarrassed to work there after that whole thing. Howard said he should quit then.
Bennett and his crew were saying that Benjy is no Stuttering John. Howard said they seem to forget how hated Stuttering John was back when he was doing his thing.
Howard said Bennett is bored with this stuff. He said they all know what they don't like. Howard said he'll take the lead from Alex and just drone on saying nothing and boring people. Bennett said that he has constantly reinvented himself over the years and some people just keep doing the same things over and over again.
Robin wondered why he would spend so much time talking about something that's so boring. Howard said Bennett says he knows what to do but he's wondering why he isn't doing it. He said no one is listening to him. Bennett told Howard it's time to figure out new stuff to do. Howard said it's time for Bennett to invent himself, not reinvent himself.
Howard said that no one even knows that Bennett looks like. He said that he wouldn't have a name if he didn't come there to Sirius. Howard said he should be thanking God and Howard Stern for giving him a life. Howard said he made Sirius an entity that lives and breathes. He said he should be praying that he keeps working, even if it's 3 days a week. He said he'll have to do a podcast because he can't attract any listeners.
Bennett said that he knows he's going to hear shit from Howard. He said that he has to stop doing this old stuff and come up with something new. Howard said he'd like to hear him come up with something that gets a subscriber. Howard said people around there ask if he's upset when Opie and Anthony do something or when Jason Ellis does something. Howard said he doesn't get upset. He'd like some people to sell subscriptions around there. He said no one understands that that's what they need. He said that Alex had a terrestrial show that didn't get any ratings and now he's complaining that he's bringing attention to Sirius. Howard said he'd like to know how you get subscribers if they don't get attention.
Howard said Bennett should be thanking Howard Stern for everything. He said that's all they can say. He said there is no battle there. He said Alex hasn't done anything to battle him. He said he's broadcasting to no one. Howard said he could open the mic and say nothing and he'd have the same number of people. Howard said this whole thing that he's so proud of normally is because of his god Howard Stern. Howard said the guy is a lunatic.
Howard said that this guy wants new bits but he'd like to hear him doing something. Howard said he should be sucking Benjy's dick and licking his taint for doing what he does. He said at least Benjy is trying to make something out of it. He said maybe it didn't suit Alex but he was trying. Howard said he was misguided a little bit but who cares. He said that they're talking about a maniac getting up and resigning and then having nothing else to say. Howard said he didn't have anything else to add to that.
Howard said that he's embarrassed to see people who change their names because they're embarrassed by being Jewish. Howard said Alex's real name is Schwarzmann. Howard said he could write a whole book on people like that. Howard said he'd like to know what he's ashamed of. Howard said he should use his real name. Then your show feels real and you don't feel that the guy is hiding something. Howard said no one there should be commenting on what he does. He said that he'd like to hear people there doing something for Sirius. Howard said it must be great to just sit there and let him bring in the listeners.
Gary said that they think he's in the building right now. Howard said he'll go down to his studio right now and meet him face to face. Howard said he'd have him in there if he's there. Howard told Gary to go find out. Howard said he'll go on Alex's show or he can come on his show.
Howard said he'd like to know how this guy has constantly reinvented himself. He said that he'll take a break and figure this whole thing out. He said the guy is 71 years old. He said he's never seen him anywhere or even mentioned that he's working at Sirius. He doesn't even know what channel the guy is on. Howard said he had to take a break. He hadn't taken one yet.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that this was a great thing with Benjy. Another caller said the bottom line is that he joined Sirius when Howard jumped ship. He said it's all because of Howard. Howard said it's a funny attitude people have there. He said that he crated that universe there. He said it was him and that transsexual Martine Rothblatt.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard to go do what he does. She said that there would be no Sirius if Howard wasn't there. She said that they had better start kissing his ass. She said there would be nothing without him. Howard hung up on her.
Gary said that Alex is there in the building. Gary said they're going to figure it all out and he can go down to his show. Howard said he'll do that. They'll figure all of that out during the break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard is the only reason he has a subscription. Howard said this guy Bennett says he's hanging his head in shame and no one even knows who he is. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was going to head down to Alex Bennett's show. Robin and Fred were on air goofing around for a minute as Howard came in. Howard walked in and they switched over to his show audio feed. Howard told Alex he didn't even know they did a show live there. He said that he heard that JD had hit on the co-host he has.
Howard broke their mic and said he'd be better off on a podcast. Howard said he heard the tape of Alex and the Benjy Bronk incident. He said he was offended when he heard that he was ashamed to be there. Alex said that happens once in a while. Howard said as far as the Benjy thing goes, it's not old. He said that it's something they take great pleasure in. He said maybe it didn't work in that setting. He said they are trying to make things happen though. He said they're constantly trying to make things happen there. He said they do their job the best they can. Howard said he would like Alex to make waves and make noise because that's what's going to keep the company going. Howard said they're mixing things up and bringing in subscriptions. Alex asked if he should expose his penis and Tweet them out. Howard said absolutely, yes. Howard told him he shouldn't do anything he's uncomfortable with.
Howard said that Weiner shouldn't have held a press conference if he wasn't going to answer any questions. He said that Benjy did yell out and create a lot of noise. He said he doesn't think that's old. Alex said it is old and tired to him. Howard asked Alex how he reinvents himself if no one even knows he's there.
Alex said that people have come to Sirius and he thinks that Howard has helped with that. He said that he appreciates that and he won't deny him that. Howard said he thinks that it's not fair for people to comment on what he's doing. He said they are out there doing things and getting some notice so this universe can exist.
Alex said that he thinks it took a lot for Weiner to go out in front of the press and do what he did. He said it had to be humiliating for him to do it. He said that Benjy couldn't have done anything to embarrass him more than he already was. Howard said it wasn't about embarrassing him. He said it didn't work as a comedy piece but if you don't take risks then it's not worth it. Howard said he used to go out and do those kind of interviews himself. He said he would carry the tape recorder with him and he'd come close to getting beat up. He said he was told he ruined the back stage at the Academy Awards. He said that it helped catapult his career.
Howard said he would have told Benjy to wait until they were yelling out questions. He said Benjy took a shot and he approves of that. He said he wasn't hurting anyone. He said this was a guy who showed his dick.
Alex said that they're going after a guy who has exposed his penis. Howard said they weren't going after him. He said he shouldn't have resigned. Howard said Ted Kennedy drowned a woman and went home to sleep before reporting it. He said that Bill Clinton survived the blow job thing. Alex asked why they would embarrass Weiner then. Howard said they were showing what a joke the press conference was.
Howard said you have to go out and try with your shows there. Howard said that it didn't work this time but it can work. He said it's not old and tired to go out and become part of the circus. He said that Sirius was mentioned in a lot of news clips. Alex said a lot of people don't know Howard works there. Howard said management doesn't know either. He said that they're going out and trying to mix it up and he'd like every personality there to do that. He said he'd love for everyone out there to get on TV today. Alex said that the PR department isn't going to help with that.
Howard said that he'd like Alex to thank him at the start of every show. Howard said they have to remember who is making this possible. He said that he wants them to keep on keeping on. Howard said he has a friend there. Alex was glad that he got to meet him finally. Howard said he had no idea that he was even in New York. Howard said he knew he had a show there but he didn't know he was working in the building. Howard asked if he ever runs into Cousin Brucie. Alex said that he does run into him. They spent a minute saying goodbye and Howard headed back to his studio.
Robin spoke to Alex and Christina. She had no idea they could hear them down there. Robin told them that Benjy wasn't the one who interrupted the press conference first. Benjy was hitting on Alex's co-host for a minute while they waited for Howard to come back. Benjy was saying that he'd like to meet her in the kitchen sometime.
Howard came back and said it was great to get to meet him finally. He said he felt kind of self conscious meeting him and didn't ask him to kiss the ring. Howard said he made a new friend. He was supposed to fight with him. Robin said it went all wrong and Alex was self effacing and he was very nice to him. Howard wrapped up and let Alex go a short time later.
Howard said he walked in the studio and the microphone broke. It just fell off. He said the woman, whose name he doesn't know, was typing and talking on the phone while he was talking. He said he was making his point and then Alex sat there quietly not arguing with him.
Robin said that she got on and told them that Benjy wasn't the first interrupter. She said that was a point Howard didn't make. Howard said he didn't make any point. Robin said that Benjy could have said nothing and that other interrupter could have chased him out of the room.
Howard said Alex didn't seem to have a problem with him. He said he's not sure what happened there. He said it went bad. He was looking for a fight but wasn't able to get one.
Howard said the girl was very cute. He said that JD had hit on her and she told him that she can't work with someone she works with. Howard said he's sure that if Brad Pitt worked there she'd find a way around that. Howard said she's very cute. Benjy said that he's not sure if he's ever met her. Howard said he had no idea he had a studio there. He said he didn't know that anyone even worked in the morning. Robin said the Hits 1 people are there. So are the Out Q people.
Howard said he was full of fire when he walked own there but then he meets him and the guy is a nice guy. He said he can't even have a fight. Howard said he shook his hand and the guy was nice. He said he really wanted a fight. He said he was good and worked up and it didn't work.
Robin said she has seen Ron Howard do that. She said he had no shame in doing it. Howard said that's what he did too. He said he was upset with the lighting there. He said that he set his ISO up high for indoors. He said he set the F-stop between F5 and F7. He said he was metered on her skin so it was the proper setting.
Howard said he doesn't know what he was looking for. He wanted more drama but it was just her shaking the guy's hand. He said that he wanted more production value. Howard said she anted the picture and he got it for her. He said he had dinner out with about 17 people at Mateo's. He said one of his daughters lives in San Francisco and she wasn't able to get to New York for 24 hours. He said that it had something to do with a return flight. He said she had to be put up at a hotel and by the time she got there she had missed the graduation. He said it took her 24 hours to get there. Debra was there but Emily didn't make it. He said that she didn't make the dinner and didn't get in until 8 last night.
Howard said his ex-wife was there with her husband. He had a bunch of family at the gathering. Howard said he had cousins and it was a very nice thing.
Howard said it was very emotional for him. He said he thinks that's why he was good and angry this morning. Howard said that he thinks Robin wouldn't have been able to keep him revved up either. Robin didn't think they could hear her down there until after Howard was done with the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe he didn't bring up the fact that he changed his name. Howard said the guy was a nice guy and he couldn't get it going. He said he couldn't argue with that.
The caller told Howard that his grandfather had changed his name from Cohen to Cole because he was embarrassed to be a Jew. Howard said he wasn't even able to get that going during that interview. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he still can't believe he didn't get into a fight with Alex. He said that he seemed like such a nice man he wasn't able to do it. Howard said he's not sure what happened. Robin said when you do something live it doesn't always work out the way you expect it to. Howard said that's what he was telling Alex about Benjy.
Howard told Benjy this doesn't give him carte blanche go to out and do whatever he wants. Benjy said he knows that. He wouldn't do that. Howard said he will defend his right to try though.
Howard said he has a lot to get to this morning. He said Tabitha Stevens contacted Gary and told him that she wants to give Jeff the Drunk another try with anal sex. He said he tried one other time and he failed but now Tabitha wants to try again.
Howard had Tabitha on the phone. He had Jeff too but that was a coincidence. Howard asked him to get off of speaker phone first though. Howard said Jeff was given the opportunity to fuck her in the ass and he wasn't able to get hard. Jeff said that's not the case. He said that it wasn't lubed up properly. Robin asked whose job that was. Jeff said it wasn't his.
Howard said Robin had anal and she didn't need lube. Howard said Jeff should have lubed it up. Tabitha said she spit and put it on there. Howard said he apparently needs more than spit. Tabitha said they had a camera crew in the bathroom and maybe he drank more than she did. Howard said Tabitha said that he didn't get hard. She said that when they put the condom on it then it wasn't that hard.
Howard asked Tabitha if she lubes up when she does it in movies. Tabitha said she hasn't done it in years so she's not sure. Howard said maybe she hurt his chances of getting in there. Jeff said he doesn't want the ass.
Tabitha said she thinks that Jeff had a lot to drink so that was part of the problem last time. Howard asked what's going to be different. Tabitha wasn't so sure. She said she wants to give Jeff another chance to do it. She said she's not going to put it out as a movie or anything unless he wants to. Tabitha said she felt bad for him all this time and she's hoping to make that up to him. She said that she did give him a hand job back then and she did blow him for a second.
Howard asked Jeff if he's into this. Jeff said he doesn't want the ass. He said he wants the vagina though. Tabitha asked how much he wants it. Jeff said he thinks it would be incredible. Howard said he doesn't think there's much to getting in the vagina. Tabitha said she felt so horrible for him. She said she knows what he's gone through and she didn't mean to upset him so she'll give him another shot.
Howard asked Jeff if he wants it or not. Jeff said ''Sure.'' Howard asked how they can go about contacting each other. Tabitha said they chat on Twitter so they'll do it there. She said that she'll fly him to Vegas in July if he's available. Howard said Alex Bennett says this is disgusting. Howard said he has to agreed with him this time.
Howard said there's nothing more disgusting than Jeff's cock in someone's ass. Tabitha said she thinks Jeff is a good hearted guy. Howard said he must just lay there and not do much. Tabitha said she feels for people who have handicaps so she doesn't like to see people picking on him.
Howard asked if she'll bother to clean out her ass for Jeff. She said of course she will. Howard said she doesn't need to spend much time on that. He said that no one would care about Jeff getting shit on his dick. Tabitha said that she'll be all lubed up for him. Howard asked if she'll suck the pus out of his neck boil. Howard said this might be a new career for Jeff as the worlds most disgusting porn star.
Howard wondered how Jeff is going to do it and if he's going to need help. He said he's seen Jeff fall over just walking. Howard said he can't imagine how disgusting this is going to be. He said it's crazy.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how they can do this to Tabitha. Howard said she called them and made the offer. They didn't ask her to do it. The caller said that he needs some anal too.
Ass Napkin Ed called in and asked if he can fuck her in the ass after Jeff. Jeff said no to that. Howard said that Tabitha seems to have gotten her wish. He asked who is going to shoot it. Tabitha said her husband will shoot it. She said that her husband isn't into anal so he'll be okay with this. She said that her husband shot her blowing Big Foot. Howard asked how her body is. She said she's 99 pounds and 5'3'' tall and she's still got a tight body. Howard said she's like the Evel Knievel of porn doing this.
Howard asked when they will see this on TabithaStevens.com. Tabitha said she'll take him out to dinner and all of that in Vegas. Howard asked if there's anyone she wouldn't fuck. She said she couldn't do Beetlejuice. Howard asked if that makes Jeff feel better. Jeff said yes. Howard asked if she would blow Beetlejuice. Tabitha said she'd be afraid to do something wrong because he can get so angry. She said she loves him but he can be mean.
Howard asked if Big Foot was smelly. She said he had an alcohol smell but he had rinsed off down there. Howard said he heard that she won't fuck anyone on the staff because they're like family. Howard asked if she would let him fuck her in the ass if he was single. Tabitha said that he intimidates her. She said that she wouldn't know what to say to him. She told Howard that if they did bang and she came back on the show she wouldn't know what to say. Howard said she could just be honest about the banging.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she would do an amputee. Tabitha said she didn't see any problem with that.
Another caller asked if she would make Jeff wear a condom and if Jeff can put one on with that gimp arm of his. Tabitha said she will make him wear one and he can put it on himself. Jeff said he can't do it all himself. Tabitha said she will help. She didn't know he couldn't do it himself.
Howard said Jeff has those boils and things on his ass. He wondered if he has them on his cock. Jeff said he doesn't. Tabitha said he has a nice one. Howard asked them to keep him aware of what's going on. He said maybe they can put him on the phone when it's going down. She said she would do it on Skype. Howard said he's not sure he wants to see it live. He would like a play by play though.
Jeff the Drunk got in a plug for his Twitter which is JeffTheDrunk1. He said it's with two F's. He said there's an impersonator who is a real jerk who has 3 F's. He said he's been saying shit about his wife and it's not cool. Howard said he doesn't care. He said that people say shit about him all day and it doesn't affect him at all.
Howard said he doesn't get this whole thing. He's not sure why Tabitha is going to do that. He took a call from a guy who asked if they're going to put that on Howard TV. Howard said they won't. The caller said it would be disgusting. Howard and Robin told the guy he doesn't have to watch everything that's on there. He's not sure why he would be against it. Howard said they have a menu on there and you have to pick what you watch. The guy doesn't even have Howard TV.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he was about to throw up just hearing that offer mentioned on the air.
Captain Janks called in and said that Alex Bennett is getting barraged with prank call. Howard said that's fun. He told Gary to get him a copy of that for tomorrow. Janks said that Sour Shoes called in as Gary and it was hilarious.
Mariann from Brooklyn said that this is great and it's like miracles happen on the show all the time. She told Howard he should have gone off on Alex Bennett when he was on the show. Howard cut her off and said he wasn't able to yell at him. He said that they were doing a show down there for no people. He said he felt bad. He said Alex seemed so nice. Howard told Robin to do him a favor and go yell at him and he'll sit there. Howard said the guy is 71 years old. He can't yell at him.
Robin said the sugar almost killed her because it was so sweet. Howard said he shouldn't have gone down there. Robin said Jon Hein had to hit his insulin pump because it was so sweet. Howard said that he saw the guy in person and he felt bad and couldn't do it. He said Opie and Anthony might fight with him. He said he's not even sure they would fight. He said there's nothing to fight about. He said he needs to go to terrestrial and fight.
Howard said he liked the song. Robin said it was alright. Howard said she never likes what he likes. Howard said he thought it was good. Robin said it was okay. She said he's just rapping over the song. Howard said he liked it and he's not even sure why.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the conversation they had about the conservatives being against gay marriage. He said he thinks that they should be allowed to what they want but he thinks that they're afraid that they're going to give gays too many rights and they'll take over.
Howard said this Archbishop of New York is talking about this and making it sound like it's going to be the end of the world. He said that it's not evolved thinking. He said it's a form of bullying and these people have done nothing wrong.
Howard said he went to his daughters graduation and this kid got up and talked about being gay. He said that he had never been called a name in school. He said it was something that they never held it against him in school. He said that it was great that he could go to school not worrying about getting beaten up. He hopes that when he gets out in the real world it doesn't hurt him.
Howard said when he sees the religious people in their outfits, no matter the religion, they're all against gay people. He said it's nonsense. He said it's irrelevant who you're having sex with. He said people get one shot on this planet and you don't go to heaven or come back reincarnated. He said that you get one shot and that's it. You should just want to see everyone happy. Howard said racism, anti gay or anti anything causes problems.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thought what Benjy did was brilliant. He said that he thought Howard should have yelled at Alex Bennett but he understands why he didn't. He said it sounds like the guy is tortured enough. Howard said Alex didn't look like he was long for this world. His studio is falling apart and he didn't look like he was having a party.
The caller said he did some radio and he was thinking about what he was doing and how he was stuck there doing that. He said he's at the pinnacle of his career. Howard said he couldn't think straight in there because that girl was taking calls on mic. He said he walked right in and shook the guy's hand and he was so nice. He said his hand was very soft and he just felt bad. Howard said he's sorry he let everyone down.
The caller said that he put his station on his pre-set so he could check in with him for the next couple of weeks. Howard said that's great.
Howard said that sounds like a fun show. He had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had sad news about Clarence Clemons. He said he died over the weekend. Howard said they had Clarence on the show many times. Robin could have gone out with him but never did. Robin said she could be a widow now if she had married him. Howard said he wanted to take a moment and remember him. Howard said the classic was when Clarence hit on Robin. He played some of that moment when Clarence was sweet talking Robin and had some of his music playing behind him.
Howard said Clarence was a good hearted soft spoken man but he was the type of guy who would go after what he wanted. He said there were two instances he could remember. One of them was Robin. He said the second instance was before he played with Bruce Springsteen. Howard said Bruce was playing in a small room and Clarence burst through the doors and went up on stage and started playing along with him. Howard said the guy was like 6'5'' tall and he walked in and saw him playing so he went right up on stage and played. Howard said that's how it happened. Howard said Clarence said Bruce needed him and he needed Bruce.
Howard said putting a saxophone in a rock song is something crazy but it worked for them. Howard said Clarence wasn't from a musical family either. He said that his family didn't understand why he was into the music thing either. Howard asked what his parents did. Benjy said his dad ran a fish market. Howard said he went out and got a saxophone and did his thing. He said he had a great life from it too. He said he was a heck of a nice guy too.
Howard said one of the tings about Clarence was that he was a football player and he got a scholarship for that but he got into a car accident and wrecked his knee. He said that he went after the sax instead. Robin said he was only in the music business 10 years before he met Bruce. Howard said Robin should have gone out with Clarence.
Howard played a clip from the show where he spoke to Clarence about how he met Bruce and how he left his wife and kids because he knew that was his calling to go on tour with Bruce. They pulled some audio from a 2009 interview they did. You can read that here.
Howard played a song parody saying goodbye to Clarence. Howard said that was Fred singing ''Goodbye Big Man.''
Gary came in and said that he saw Clarence's last show. He said that he went to the dressing room and it was just like the rider that they had read on the air during that interview. He said that it was pretty wild. Gary said they thought he was getting sick but he was getting better. Gary said he looked like he was getting healthier but it turns out he wasn't. Robin said it sounded like he was going to be okay last week but they were wrong.
Howard said it was great when he would come on the show and talk about all of that stuff. Howard said they didn't hear so much from him when Bruce was interested in him though.
Howard said there's a story on Perez Hilton saying that it was Steven Spielberg who got Megan Fox fired from Transformers 3. Howard said he's not sure what she did to piss everyone off but it could have been a comment about Hitler that she made. Howard said he's not sure if it's true. He said he thinks that it was Michael Bay who fired her and she was very critical of him. Howard said she's completely disappeared now. Howard said she should have been kissing his balls. He said they replaced her in Transformers and that's that. Howard said Charlie Sheen should have kept quiet too. He had the best job in show business and he should have kept his mouth shut.
Howard said that Zach Galifianakis was interviewed and he found some funny stuff in that. He said he was on a sitcom and he called it a ''shitcom'' which he found very funny. Howard said Zach also tells people that he's with his husband when people will ask for an autograph and he's not in the mood. He'll also fake phone calls. Howard read some other funny quotes from Zach that he liked. He had a ton of one liners that he found really funny. Howard said he didn't know much about the guy and he found the article to be pretty cool.
Howard said he wanted to mention another death that didn't get as much notice. He said it was Wild Man Fischer. Howard said they used to play his music on the show. Howard said he was a street musician and they used to play that song ''I'm a creature from outer space.'' Fred didn't have it to play but he did an impression of him. Howard said this guy Wild Man Fischer was a schizophrenic and he was a character on the street and Frank Zappa discovered him. He said he had two record labels and one was Straight and one was Bizarre. He said he put the guy on a record and the first one he put out was a double album. He said that's balls to put out a double album. Howard said he wishes that he had a CD of his. Fred said he wasn't able to find much online. They didn't have anything there in the Prophet system either.
Robin said she was reading about him and how he threw a glass at Moon Unit Zappa and that broke up Frank and Wild Man. Fred finally found some of his music and played that while Howard was trying to figure out how old he was. Howard said he thinks he was 67. He wasn't quite sure since he's so bad at math.
Howard said what was great about him and the music scene back then was that it got recorded. He said that the music business had an experimental part to it.
Howard said a few weeks ago he was in his office and he had a strange thing happen to him. He said he's going to have to save it for tomorrow's show though. He said he was running out of time.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. That led to Howard talking about Benjy and his Weiner press conference debacle. Howard said that he didn't think the execution of it was that good but Benjy did try. He went over all of that once again.
Howard read that he was in a book of really bad business ideas. He read through some of the other bad ideas which included things like New Coke and things like that. Howard said on Page 32 they had the Video Caddy too.
Robin read about Tracy Morgan meeting with some gay teens after his outburst a couple of weeks back. Robin said that Tracy has had to meet with GLAAD and these teens. Howard said he saw a picture in the paper of him with a serious face next to a gay kid and looking very sad. Howard said Tracy must be sorry he made those comments. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Howard went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:40am, Robin read about Clarence Clemons being remembered by the music community today. Robin said that Bruce Springsteen has commented on the loss. Robin said Clarence was 69 years old and he was a member of the E Street Band for 40 years. Howard said he doesn't usually like saxophone mixed with rock music but it worked for them. Robin had some audio of Clarence talking about ''spontanuity'' so Howard wondered why she would pull that clip as a tribute when he screwed up the word. Howard said ''shame on you'' for doing that. Howard said he's going to pull a clip of Robin screwing up when she passes away. Fred played her ''Cocaine'' song performance. Howard said he's going to be missed on that show. Robin said a lot of people are going to miss him.
Howard asked Robin if she saw Green Lantern. Robin said she did and she thought it was okay. She said she was bad mouthing it before she saw it and it turned out to be okay. Robin said that Howard might find it to be okay. She said that it's kind of goofy and Ryan Reynolds is okay playing the part. Howard asked if it's too jokey. Robin said she's thinking that it has to fall down in the story. Howard said he likes the background of the lanterns. Robin said that was the best part of the movie. She said it was the part where he was back on earth trying to figure out how to be this lantern that was just okay. She said if you have nothing else to do then check it out. Robin said they're saying it was a letdown at the box office. Howard said ''Aww shit...'' He was hoping it was going to be good because it got bad reviews.
Robin read about this Archbishop, Timothy Dolan, in New York who came out against the gay marriage bill. Howard said this is ridiculous. Robin had some audio of Dolan talking about what marriage is supposed to be. Howard said it's funny how religious people are the least tolerant people when they should be the most. He said it's so despicable. He said the church comes off really bad in this stuff. Robin said marriage has been around since before Jesus was even around. She said this is just another evolution of marriage. Robin had some audio of some people talking about this bill.
Robin read about a gay father's day celebration that happened out in Los Angeles. Robin said they were celebrating gay and transgendered parents. Howard said that they should be given as many kids as they want. He said that there are so many kids out there who are unwanted and grow up to be monsters. He said they should have homes.
Robin read about a comedian by the name of Reggie Brown who has been impersonating President Obama. Robin had some audio of him doing his impression of Obama and doing some jokes about his race of half white and half black. He wasn't all that funny and the impression wasn't all that great. Robin said he was pushed off the stage. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin had some audio of Robert Gates talking about the wars we're involved in and how we have to think very carefully about the wars we get involved with in the future. Robin said this was a war guy who was talking about this.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he liked Green Lantern. He said that Howard will like it too. He said he agrees with Robin that they don't need the origin stories in every movie either.
Robin got back to her news and read that a new Miss USA was crowned. She had some audio of the host of the show announcing the winner which was Miss California. Robin had some audio of the winner answering a question about legalized marijuana during the pageant too.
Robin read about Anthony Weiner getting two job offers. Robin said that he was asked by the producers of Entourage to do an appearance. Larry Flynt has also asked Weiner to appear in Hustler magazine. They want him to work for them.
Robin read that the web is going to be opened up to domain name suffixes with more than .com, .gov and .org. She said they could apply for just about any web suffix you like. Robin said they could have .anything. She said that they could even do a .howardstern or a .anal. Robin said that they will start accepting new domain name suggestions next January. Howard said he wants that .howardstern but some fucknut will probably beat him to it. He told Gary to get him .howardstern and .pussylips. He said he also wants .myclitorisisdainty as well.
Robin read about the hackers out there who have been attacking a lot of web sites. Robin read about how they're just doing it for the satisfaction and they're not doing it for any other reason. Robin said they have apparently split off from Anonymous and they're doing their own thing. Robin read about how Sega was hacked recently and a bunch of user names and information was stolen.
Robin read about a plane that crashed over the weekend. Robin said they're trying to figure out what happened there. Howard said the guy was very experienced from what he read. He had his wife and kid and a friend of the kid in the plane. Robin said it crashed in the woods in Armonk and all four died.
Robin read about a guy who shot up a bunch of people in a drug store. He open fire before fleeing the scene. Robin said he got away with nothing and the youngest victim was an 18 year old girl. Robin said her dad spoke and said that she had just tried on her prom dress the night before the shooting. Howard said he read that the sister was scheduled to work at the same time but she was taken off the schedule. Howard said it was fate that she didn't go to work that day.
Robin read about the Green Lantern movie not doing so well at the theater. Robin said they didn't need it to be 3D either. Robin said she read it earned $52.7 million. They say it cost $200 million to make. Super 8 came in second and Mr. Poppers Penguins came in third with $18.2 million. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:10am.
Jon said that they know what Benjy did at the Weiner press conference and how Alex Bennett was bad mouthing it. Then Howard went down to his studio and confronted him. Gary said he had to find out if he was there first. He said he found out and then asked if he could come down there. Gary said he felt like the guy they heard on tape wasn't the guy they were going to talk to. He said that Alex seems like he's a fan of the show and he seemed happy to see them. He said that he thought it would be great if Howard came down there so it was kind of strange. Jon said that it seemed to work out with the audio feed and all of that. He said that Scott pulled it off somehow. Gary said that it was actually Evan the Engineer. He said that Scott is an audio engineer so he doesn't handle that kind of stuff. He said that he was working the board though.
Gary said he didn't know that Alex was working in the building. He said he didn't know he was doing a morning show either. Jon asked what he thought of him changing his name. Gary said back then when he did that it was the thing to do. He said these days you don't do that.
Jon asked Gary if this was the mature Howard going in there and not fighting. Gary said it seemed like at one point Howard was there to do promotion for Sirius. He said it kind of morphed into that. Jon said that even Robin said he was particularly sweet. Gary said maybe he's mellowing. He said he wanted to go down there and wanted to cringe. He said he wanted that feeling of cringing when Howard is so brutal. He said he likes that feeling.
Jon asked Benjy if he can see what he caused. Benjy said he thinks it would have been better on the phone. Gary said they know that now. He said if you have a face to face it can be better. Benjy said that people usually back down when they meet face to face. Gary said he's seen Howard not back down in a face to face a few times.
Jon asked Benjy if he thinks Howard liked what he did. Benjy said he's not sure how much it bothered him but he doesn't like that he interrupted his speech. Benjy said he has waited for him to take questions before but this time he didn't have that chance so he had to yell them out.
Gary said you have to try stuff to make things happen. He said he thinks it was good that he took a shot at it. Benjy said he thinks he was wrong for him to do it in that manner. Benjy said he loves that he's getting the attention but he doesn't think he should have done it. Gary said he's on every major web site out there. Benjy said what he did he has a problem with and he's really embarrassed by it. He said he has to think about that and not do it again.
Gary said he felt that Weiner was going to come out, read his statement and walk off and not take any questions. Nothing was going to change that. He finds it funny that the press thinks there's some kind of law about yelling things out. Jon said that Benjy didn't yell out that ''pervert'' comment either. Gary said he loves that the press is mad at Benjy for screwing up an already circus-like thing.
Benjy said there's a scene in Animal House where they take over the parade and that's the funniest thing to him. He said that's what was going on in his head there but it's wrong to ruin someone's parade. He said they did say they weren't going to be taking any questions though.
Gary said Howard has pointed out that you can't take phone calls on a show and tell people you're going to arrest them when they prank call you. He said it's not illegal to do that. He said it's the same thing with the press conference. Gary said they have had to handle hecklers before and they handle things a little differently. Gary said that they would put that person on the mic and put them on air. They had to go to break after that.
Lisa said that she felt it was like old school media vs. new school. She said that they had old time news people there with cameras locked on to Weiner while some of the new school people turned the cameras on Benjy. Lisa said she was laughing the whole time on her way to the press conference. She said she had to write the questions down because Benjy was getting motion sickness. She said that Benjy stuck his head out the window and asked what section of Brooklyn they were in and they yelled out that they were in ''Jewland.''
Benjy said that Lisa will laugh at anything. She said he was saying ''This cab is SOOO yellow'' and she would laugh. Benjy said that the Howard TV guy was with them too and he's great but he wasn't talking while he was holding the camera.
Gary said he was feeling kind of bad for Weiner and he was going to email him. He said he thought about it and decided against it. Jon said that this probably comes as no surprise to him if he's a fan of the show. Gary said he might be thinking ''I'm a fan of the show, why fuck with me?''
Jon took a call from a guy who said he works with plastic surgeons and he had a woman tell him today that she won't do business with him because he's a fan of the Stern show and because of what Benjy did.
Steve Langford came in and said that he doesn't understand why any reporter would complain about what Benjy did. He said it was great material so he's not sure what the complaints would be. Steve said this stuff is gold because it's wild stuff. He said even the NY Times covered it and they had Benjy in the lead headline. He said they got it. He said they're there to report on what happened and what Benjy did was news and it was exciting.
Benjy said his struggle with it is that he violated Weiner's right to finish his speech. Benjy said that he doesn't think he wronged the press. Lisa said that they had a headline that said ''Every media circus needs a clown.'' She said that there were people who got it and there were people who are news snobs who didn't get it. She thinks Benjy held his own.
Steve said they were featuring Weiner and Bronk on MSNBC that night. Benjy said he tweeted out that he was doing the same thing that Weiner does. He said he felt he had to do it to get love and laughs. Then while it was happening he felt that he wasn't doing the right thing.
Gary asked Benjy who he doesn't like as a politician. Benjy said no one came to mind. Gary wondered if he feels bad because he likes Weiner as a politician. Benjy said he doesn't think he'd have an easier time with it even if he was someone he didn't like.
Gary said that he thought they were going to take questions there and he didn't know that Benjy was going to blurt this stuff out. He said he got some of the audio and the footage from Doug and he was afraid Howard was going to get mad at him for going. He said Benjy could have talked in with a megaphone but he put a stop to that. Gary said his nightmare was thinking that Howard was going to put all the blame on him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Benjy shouldn't feel bad. He said he was an Anthony Weiner fan but all politicians have a personality disorder or they wouldn't be politicians. He said Benjy should keep doing it because it gets their name out there and he brings these people down a notch.
Benjy said what he did at the first press conference was okay with him. He said he was asking questions during a question and answer thing. He said what he did was wrong and he admits it.
Lisa said that those old media people just don't get it and they're so set in their ways that they're thrown off when you throw in something like this. Jon asked Lisa if they're new or old media. Lisa said they're new media because they're working there at Sirius. Steve said if asking dumb questions was a problem then Ann Curry would have been fired a long time ago.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that they're not thinking about what will happen to this Weiner now that he's resigned. He said that he may end up on TV somewhere. Gary said Benjy isn't pushing him there though. Gary said that he may have helped make him a more sympathetic character though.
The guys talked about how Elliot Spitzer is on TV now. Jerry Springer had some issues and he was able to recover. Marion Barry got his job back after doing crack. Benjy said he thinks that Weiner would get reelected if he ran again in his district. They went to break a short time later.
Jason said Benjy is bumming him out saying he's upset about what he did. He said he didn't do anything wrong. Benjy said he feels wrong for what he did. He said he hates heckling. Gary said he was funny at least. He said that the other people were just heckling. Benjy said he was trying to make a joke about it and he became part of that wolf pack and he hates that.
Benjy said that he thinks he would have been okay if he had waited until he was walking away before he shouted out. Jason said he wasn't wrong doing it the way he did. Gary said he would agree with Benjy more if he had left after he yelled out but Weiner just kept talking.
Jon asked if Jeff deserves a second chance. Gary said he's not as upset with that as he is with him taking money from the government. Benjy said it's not that easy to get into an ass so maybe Jeff wasn't having problems that day. He said he believes that she feels bad for Jeff too.
Jason asked why this is happening 10 years after the first try. He said that it doesn't make sense to him. He said that she's friends with him on Twitter so she doesn't need to do it in this forum. Gary said that's the reason she's doing it, it's in this forum.
Jon said that there were a bunch of people who were upset with Tabitha for giving Jeff another chance. He wondered why people are so upset about it. They figured a lot of guys want anal from her and they're jealous.
Will and Jason said they think that Jeff won't get hard for her this time either. Jason said he's barely there mentally and he's sure there isn't a part of his body that functions properly. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how bright and early it was there at Sirius XM. He said that was that and said goodbye. He said he was in a crappy mood yesterday. Howard threw out a couple of Yiddish words for how he was feeling and said that was Italian. Howard said hew was walking around all angry and irritated. He said Beth said that he was scaring her. He eventually got through it. He said he was just in a bad mood. Howard said he was trying to get out of it.
Robin asked if he was slamming things. Howard said he felt like throwing things. He said he thinks he was blue balled by Alex Bennett. He said he got so angry at him and then didn't take it out on him. Howard said he went in there and petered out yesterday. Howard said he should have turned to that girl and asked her to stop answering the phone while he was talking to Alex.
Robin said they played the Elaine Boosler fight after that and that guy just came in throwing punches. Howard said that's the kind of guy you fight with. He said Alex didn't care. He said he thinks he's just happy to see anybody back in that studio.
Howard said when he first got there he set up his office like a living room. He doesn't have a desk in there. He said he has some photos of Beth and his kids in there. He said a couple of months ago he packed up some of those pictures and figured they didn't belong there anymore. He said he didn't put any thought into it at the time. Then he was reading Rolling Stone the other day and he read about the Keith Olberman column and he was talking about working at MSNBC and he kept pictures that he enjoyed in his office at work. Keith talked about how he had taken the pictures out of his office and brought them home. He said he didn't feel like he was at home anymore. Howard said he started thinking and that's what must be going on with him. He said something changed and he'll leave it to Robin to figure out. He said it doesn't take a rocket scientist. Howard said he didn't feel that it was safe there anymore.
Howard had mentioned that Keith Olberman had a picture of Shoeless Joe in his office and he thought that he was in the Negro Leagues. Robin and Gary told him he was wrong about that. He wasn't in the Negro League. Howard apologized to baseball fans. He said he doesn't know anything. Robin said she only knows from the movie ''8 Men Out.'' Howard said he would have bet the farm that he was in the Negro League.
Howard said he no longer feels like this is home there at work. He said it's really weird. Robin said she wonders how this is working. Howard said it's not working very well. He said no one ever came and talked to him in a civilized way about the money he thinks he's owed. Howard said he's a pretty important player in the mix but they treat him like an asshole and just like an employee. He said that's what he was avoiding when he first got there. Howard said that's what one of the guys who hired him told him. He said that he was going to be a partner there. Howard said it dawned on him about 4 years ago that he was no longer a partner and he was back to being just an employee. He said there's a tremendous resentment. Howard said he's a huge force there and there are people who can't deal with it.
Howard said this has been his whole career. He said that there was a general manager who couldn't deal with the fact that he had saved the radio station single handedly. Howard said the station was a hole and it was a nothing station. This guy Goff Labar was someone who was looking for glory and credit for something he didn't do. Howard said it's always the talent that gets the job done. Howard said this station didn't have a 2 share when he got there. Howard said they may have had a 1.9 share or something like that. In under a year they went to about an 8 share in a year.
Howard said the general manager was so pompous that he would sit them all down in a meeting and make everyone think they were just hired help. He said he would walk in with a cigar and a sit and tell everyone his 5 point plan. He said he was a maniac. Howard said he wanted a career and he had to use that as a stepping stone. He said he had to sit his ass in the seat and just take it. He said the guy had white spittle on his lips all the time from having dry mouth. Howard said Goff would say they need a good signal and then they need sales. He said that anyone who had worked in radio knew that you needed a signal. He said he didn't have to tell them that. Howard said the guy was stating the obvious. Howard said he told them they needed promotion and something even stupider after that. Then at number 5 was ''programming.'' Howard said number 4 must have been a working microphone. Howard said Wendy the Retard could come up with a 5 point plan like that.
Howard said he sat there with a feeling of despair and he knew that it was retarded. He said he knew he was going to save the station and he knew this guy was going to have a problem with it. Howard said he knew when he was on the phone with the guy and he was watching the Super Bowl when he hired him. Howard said he was making like $50,000 at the other station and this guy would only give him like 40. Howard said he knew he would rise within days out there. He had to put up with that guy.
Howard said they started to rise so quickly in DC. He said there were articles and it was great. Then Goff called him into his office and asked why he was getting all of the articles. Howard thought it was good. He said Goff took credit for the signal and sales. He said he knew the guy was jealous of him. Howard said the guy was going to throw him out and fire him and get the Greaseman.
Howard said when people tell him he doesn't deserve time off he says that they don't know what he's been through. He said this will wear you down. He said you have to sit there and convince people and work with them. He said it's relentless.
Robin said when she sees The Office it reminds her of that. She said it would take the heart right out of you when you'd see Goff walking around. Howard said he would stare at them while they were doing their show. Howard said it was really tough.
Howard said he would get the same feeling that he would get when his teacher gave him a hard time in school. He said he would literally get a temperature when he was in school from being so overwhelmed. He said he's sure that Goff would make his temperature rise to 105.
Howard said he never wished harm on anyone but this guy he did. He said that he got Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever once and he remembers him shuffling back to work. He said the guy was so phony too. He said he'd have him over to his home and he had a fountain in the middle of the house. Howard said he was the one working his ass off and this guy had a fountain in his house. Howard said he couldn't even afford a house.
Howard said this guy was enjoying the spoils of all of his hard work. Howard said the guy was flaunting it. He said that reminds him of the guy who shelled out $450 million and got 5 billion in return. Howard said he sits there perplexed by things like that. He said he's confused with the attitude toward him. He said they think he's some kind of shithead. Howard said he would love to just get to a judge and read the contract to him. He said he'll wait and see what happens. He said it distresses him. He said he doesn't know what's going on there. He does believe in satellite radio though. He said he thinks it will become more important. This has thrown him for a loop though.
Howard said he was reading that Keith Olberman article and he was relating to that story about Keith not feeling at home. He said it struck a chord with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him how Shoeless Joe got his name. He just removed his cleats during a game once so they gave him that nickname. Howard said he learned something today then.
Howard said Leslie was obese and he didn't take care of himself. He said that he did everything wrong. Howard said there was no way he was going to live long but he was always on fire and a very lively guy. Howard said he must be so strong. Robin said he's a super hero. Howard said he made it to 65 before removing the leg. He said he's as strong as an ox.
Howard read a press release about Leslie's leg. He said they amputated his leg up to the knee. He said they say he'll recover fully. Howard said they say that he's a guitar god and agreed with that.
Howard said that Leslie was in the band Mountain. He said that it's not all that well known that they were at Woodstock and that they were a big hit. He said their management didn't want them in the movie that came out so not so many people know they were there. Howard said not that many people know the work of Mountain. He said everyone in the movie went on to super stardom because it was part of that whole thing. Howard said Hendrix, The Who and everyone who became huge was in that movie.
Howard said that Leslie was in the studio working on a new album with a bunch of other big names. Howard said Leslie is in need of everyone's prayers. Howard said he read that he was put into a coma when they removed the leg and he's not sure if he still is. Fred said he thinks that he'll be back to normal today from what he read. Howard said he feels bad for him.
Howard said one of the best Leslie West performances is when he performed with Beetlejuice. He said he wanted to lay down some tracks and he did that for his song ''I Don't Know.'' He played that song all the way through. Beet had just laid down some lyrics and Leslie came up with some guitar for the song.
After playing the song Howard said that he had a great sound on that guitar. He said he has a lot of great guitar solos. He said you can't hear it so much on ''Mississippi Queen'' but there's another one he's thinking of. He asked Fred for help figuring that out. Howard had Fred play some of his stuff. He played ''For Yasgurs Farm'' and Howard said that was a good one. Howard said the guy singing on that one was Felix who is dead now.
Howard said Felix and Leslie were great together. He said it was a perfect band. He said if they were in the Woodstock movie they would have become huge. He said their music really was great. Howard let the song play through some more.
Howard said one of his favorite moments on the show was at Westbury Music Fair and he, Sam Kinison and Leslie played on stage together. Howard said they played Wild Thing together. Howard said Sam was quite a good guitar player and he felt like kind of a jerk playing up there. Howard said they did the song and they all turned to him wondering how to get back stage. Howard said he told them to follow him. He said the stage was a stage in the round and it had moved and they ended up in the parking lot when they left. Howard said he had no idea where they were.
Fred played some of Sam Kinison's ''Wild Thing'' and Howard said he really misses Sam. He said he has a picture of him and Sam on stage playing that song together. He said he has a metal skull there too and Sam loved that kind of stuff. He said he got some of Sam's jewelry from Sam's brother so he has that on the desk together. He said this is different than the one Robin gave him. He said he has that one in his dressing room.
Howard said he was reading about a bionic leg that's available to civilians now for $95,000. Howard said they should get that for Leslie. Robin said he's going to have to learn some things about that.
Robin said she was reading about Leslie and how he had flown to Mississippi and his foot had turned blue after getting no circulation. Then it turned septic and he had to get it removed because of that. Howard said he's lucky he was in Biloxi. That's just where you want surgery. Robin said when it gets to that point you don't care where you are.
Howard said that this guy is the most unaware human being he's ever seen. He said he's a mind blowing character. The caller asked if they will ever get him in the studio. Howard said he has an open invitation to walk in there. He said he would love to get inside that brain and pick it clean. Robin said people like that never end up coming in there. She said they know enough not to come in.
Howard said a lot of people are afraid to come into the studio and he's not sure why. He said people can handle any question he throws at them but they seme to be afraid. Howard said he doesn't understand how he can fuck up something with his grandson so quickly. Howard said Ryan was saying that he couldn't believe that Tatum had taken her son's side in that argument. Howard said the guy is a very unusual personality. The caller said he's a wreck.
Gary told Howard that JD had pulled a clip of Ryan talking to Piers Morgan and calling Tatum a ''Fantasist.'' Howard played the clip and Ryan was talking about the things that his daughter was claiming in her book. He denied that she was ever on drugs at the age she claimed she was. He said he saw her every day back then ad he doesn't understand it. Howard said he wasn't that involved. Howard said his mother didn't know that he was doing drugs. He said she still doesn't believe it but that's what he was up to.
Howard played more of Ryan in denial. He said she doesn't need to make things up like that. Piers asked if she attempted suicide. Ryan said that was true. Howard said maybe she was trying to get his attention. Piers was the one who asked Ryan about him thinking that she's a fantasist. Howard wondered why Ryan is on TV talking about this. Robin said he's been working lately. Howard said he did some major films too.
Howard said the show about Ryan and Tatum shows how strange that relationship is. Howard said he doesn't even know the word fantasist.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked about how people are ripping off his Wrap Up Show and doing them on their shows. He asked Howard what he thinks about everyone taking his ideas. Howard said he's a beaten man. He said the only thing that bothers him are the game shows that the steal from his show. He said Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader really bothers him.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he had seen the Green Lantern movie yet. Howard said he hasn't yet. The caller said the story is empty and it's just not there. Howard said he asked Ralph about it and Ralph said Ryan Reynolds is good but there isn't a good story there. Howard said he read so many comic books as a kid and they were all fascinating. He said the story almost writes itself. He said he's not sure how they screw it up. Robin said she's not sure they have any inspiration. The caller said it looks like they made it just to make it. Howard said they don't always get it right.
Howard said he will see it because he is a big fan of Green Lantern. The caller said it's just empty. He said he appreciates Howard showing up for work and he loves him. Howard said he saw an animated Green Lantern DVD that was really good.
Howard said he was leaving work the other day and he saw a guy selling those big pretzels on the street. He said they were watching the guy and he dropped all of the pretzels on the ground as he was packing them up and he picked them right up and put them back on the cart. Howard said he told Beth about it and it ruined her day because she buys them all the time. Howard said when you buy stuff from those guys you have to expect it. He said the board of health isn't inspecting those carts.
Howard said Buzz Aldren is getting a divorce. He said he had a feeling something was going on when he was in there. He said Jesse Jane was in there that day and he was very smitten with her. Howard said he figured he was weakening in his marriage. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and said that Sal and Richard went out and made an appearance over the weekend and they were just answering questions on stage. They weren't doing a comedy show like they've done in the past. Howard said he's not sure why they were doing that. He said that Sal was talking too much and he said something very strange. They were asked what they're going to do when Howard retires. Richard said they were going to start a tour in January and they'll always be together. Sal said they are asked if they'll ever release a CD and said that they are working on one of exclusive prank calls that were never on the air.
Howard said that Sal is so retarded. He said he's the one paying them to come up with those ideas and they're saving them for when he retires. Howard said that would be like him going to Sirius management telling them that he's saving his best stuff for when he leaves. Howard said they pay them to make phony phone calls. He said he rejected about 3 of them last week and he's not sure why they're saving stuff for 5 years from now. Howard said he doesn't get why he'd go into a public forum and mention that either. Howard said he must be an asshole.
Howard asked Sal if he feels so confident that he can piss all over him. Sal said he didn't say what he thinks he said. He said he had a lot of alcohol in him that night. Howard said he knows that they're writing down ideas that they're saving for when he retires. Sal said that's not true. He said that's not ''entirely true'' at all. Howard asked why he would say what he said then. Sal said he didn't know.
Howard said this is one of the dumbest things he's ever heard someone say. He said that's like announcing to his boss that he's not using his best material on the show. Sal said he misquoted himself.
Richard came in so Howard asked him how many ideas they have for when he retires. Richard said they have ideas for there. He said they're not saving anything for the future. Howard asked why Sal would say that then. He asked why he would tell his boss that they were doing that.
Gary told Richard to tell Howard what he said when he walked in his office. Richard said they're using all of these premises now. He said they're not saving anything. Sal said they're going to come up with stuff when Howard retires. They're not saving anything.
Howard said Richard must hang out with Sal and wonder if he's a moron. Richard said they're both morons so that's why they get along. He said he and Sal never get into deep conversations. He said he loves it when Sal misspeak's.
Howard said he doesn't get what Sal is up to. Sal said he just mis-spoke and he's not saving anything up. Howard said he thinks he is because why else would he say something on stage. Richard said no one is going to buy a CD from them when Howard retires. Sal admitted he's stupid.
Howard said that Sal and Richard need to figure out what they're going to do in 5 years. He said he has some of the calls they're making lately and he thought that they were having up the best stuff. He said they had 2 calls last week that were just awful. They loved a couple of them. They loved one they did with Will the Farter.
Howard asked where this Q and A was at. Sal said it's in Hollywood. Richard said they're working on a stand-up tour that will start in January. Howard said he would play one of their calls while they're in there. He had one called Motor Mouths and Jack and Rod's Game Day. Then there was Sour Shoes prank calling a pizza place. They wanted to hear Motor Mouths.
Howard played the clip where Sal and Richard call into a Motor Mouths radio show and goof on them with stories about having sex in classic cars. They also call in with Ronnie the Limo Driver audio clips and have him yelling at the hosts.
After that Howard asked if they take any calls other than them. Sal and Richard said that they don't get many calls but if they do get one they keep the guy on for like 45 minutes. Howard said it doesn't sound like much is going on there.
Howard told the guys to go back to the drawing board. Richard said they have some good premises coming up. Howard told them not to save them. Fred played clips of Sal and Richard calling Howard a sucker from a show from a couple of years ago.
Howard played some of the audio of Steve going off on Ann during the Wrap Up Show yesterday too. Lisa G was talking to the guys about old media vs. new media at the press conference when Steve came in and went off on her. Howard had to fast forward through a lot of what Lisa was saying. Steve said that if asking dumb questions was wrong then she would have been fired a long time ago.
Howard asked Steve what he's basing that on. Steve was just going by what he's seen on TV. He said she's not the brightest bulb on TV.
Howard said Steve has a lot of opinions but you just have to drag it out of him. Howard asked who the best journalist is on TV. Steve said Ted Koppel is unbelievable. He said this kid on CNN is good too. He said her name is Kieran something. Steve said Mike Wallace is great too. He said he inspired him. Howard asked when he knew he wanted to be a journalist. Steve said he was in his late teens. He said he started in college radio in French. He said it was almost like a gag that he was on there because he didn't speak French very well.
Steve got to his news preview and said that Vinnie Favale has kidney stones and he's had a camera jammed up his urethra. He said Vinnie watched as it was happening. They found a kidney stone 1 inch in diameter. He's going to have it blasted by sound waves very soon so they'll have an update on that.
Howard asked how big the camera is. Steve wasn't sure. Howard said he hopes Vinnie feels better. Gary said he was talking to Vinnie and his wife wanted the doctor to do the camera thing right away so that's why they did it right then. He could have waited a week and gotten completely knocked out. Gary said he got knocked out 3 times when he had his done. Gary said if they blast the kidney stone then it's going to be in tiny pieces that will have to come out. He said it's going to be really painful.
Steve said they have a report about Gary finally unloading about his run for the parks and recreation board and what happened with that.
Steve said that Sal and Richard were licking each other's faces at the appearance they made out in Hollywood. Howard said he would like to know what they do when they're not on stage. Gary said the guitar player from Sugar Ray paid to meet Richard. Gary said that Richard just told him that he wanted to meet Sal too.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was playing the part of Ann Curry. Howard let him talk and sing for a minute as he was pretending to be Steve telling him he wanted him to go to jail. He was doing the impression of Steve going off on him when Sal and Richard prank called him with Sour Shoes clips.
Sour was doing an impression of King of All Blacks that was another amazing impression. He had the crappy phone connection going with the impression. Then Sour just broke into song and sang some stuff.
Howard cut Sour off and played the prank calls Sal and Richard made to Steve Langford using the Sour Shoes clips. Steve eventually tells Sour he wants him arrested and he has to stop with the calls. He spoke to someone posing as Sour's father telling him this was all against the law.
Steve said that his parents gave him the same treatment when he spoke to them. Howard said that Jim McClure and he went up to talk to them and they were very proud of their son. Steve said they're proud of his talent. Howard said they can't be happy that he still lives at home. Steve said they didn't show any unhappiness about that. Howard said no parent is happy with a 39 year old living at home.
Steve said that Sour's bedroom looks like something out of the 70s. He said that it looks like it's directly out of 1973. He said there were toys and old sheets in the room. He had toy soldiers all over the floor when he got there. Howard asked if he was playing with them. Steve said he was having a good time rolling all over the floor. He said his parents are very proud. Steve said it was very depressing being there.
Howard asked about the bed he sleeps on. Steve said it was a double bed with old sheets on it. Howard said playing with toy soldiers is weird. He'd understand if it's a video game or something.
Steve said that Sal and Richard are going to be in Orlando entertaining fans again this weekend. He wrapped up his news preview after that.
Howard asked if he has a big cock. Vinnie said it's down to nothing when the doctor is shoving that tube in there. He said that he was sick for like 6 months and they found something in there. He said the doctor said they could put him under if he waited. He said they could do it right then with a quick shot. He said they put the thing in and it kept pressing on the bladder. He said he got to watch the whole thing.
Howard asked why he wouldn't be unconscious for that. Vinnie said his wife wanted it done then. She was tearing up. Howard said she doesn't know what it's like to have a dick. Vinnie said they did get the good news that it was a stone. He said the thing is an inch. He said it makes him nauseous and he's had to throw up in his briefcase. He said he's been at work and had to rush out of the control room to throw up. He said they think he's just rushing to the bathroom.
Howard said Vinnie works with David Letterman. He asked about where he stands. Vinnie told him where he goes in the control room. He said he's in communication with his office from there. He said there are times when he has to time his trip home just in case. He said that he vomited in his briefcase on the bus on his way to work. He said he has a nice Calvin Klein briefcase that he threw up in. He had to throw that away. Now he carries a bag to throw up in.
Howard asked Vinnie how he covers up throwing up. Vinnie said you just lean over and make it look like you're rolling over. He said he's lost about 50 pounds in the last year or so because of this. Vinnie said there are certain types of food that make him sick so he can time when he's going to be sick.
Howard and Robin wished him luck with the kidney stone and let him go. Howard played some of Vinnie's love tapes that he made for his wife Debbie. He talks about how he's scratching his balls and how he can't wait to see her. Howard and Robin got some laughs out of that.
Howard goofed on Vinnie for a minute about the ball scratching comment. Howard said no one talks like that on a tape. Howard played more of the tape and goofed on Vinnie for a few more minutes. Howard listened in and chuckled at some of his comments to Debbie. Howard asked how Debbie married him. He let the clips play and Vinnie is blowing kisses into the mic and things like that. Howard said the guy is a maniac.
Howard said Debbie was living in California and he was showing her around on this video camera. Howard said he doesn't understand how that worked and got Debbie. Robin said that wouldn't work on her. She said that's a reason to head for the hills.
Howard said Vinnie was talking about how creative he was in that clip and how he was going to make so much money from those ideas he had. Gary said that Vinnie called Debbie accidentally and they ended up talking for 3 weeks and fell in love that way. Howard asked if they had met in person when he made the tapes. Gary couldn't remember. He said he just knew that they had met on the phone.
Howard said Vinnie is in his underwear in the video and it's very disturbing. Howard said he can't imagine that Vinnie got many girls when he was dating and he's surprised that he didn't lock her in his basement.
Howard said the one they brought up on the Wrap Up Show was Robin going out with Chris Darden from the OJ trial. Howard said he knew she wouldn't be into him. He said he didn't get to do that much at the trial. Robin said he was the one who told OJ to put on the glove. Howard asked what happened on that date. Robin said they just didn't click. She said they went out to dinner. She said he didn't really know how to talk to her. She said he was kind of afraid of New York. She said he was in from California so it was tough.
Howard asked if she asked about the glove and why he had him put that on. Robin said she didn't bring it up. Howard wondered what he's up to now. Robin said she thinks that he got married. Howard asked if he tried to kiss her. Robin didn't think so. She didn't recall much going on.
Howard asked about Nick Manning and Robin. Robin said that Nick was all over her but she wasn't all over him. Gary wanted to know about Penn Jillette. Robin said she wasn't all that into him either. Robin said he was an interesting guy though. Howard said he's into magic and all of that. Robin said he has all kinds of craziness going on.
Howard said Clarence was as good looking as Penn. Robin said it wasn't a looks thing. Howard asked if she can imagine herself blowing Penn or seeing him enter her. Robin said she never imagined anything like that.
Howard said they were wondering where the line is for Robin. Robin said she doesn't have a type. She said it's an unknown quality. Gary asked if she ever kissed Penn. Robin said no. Howard said he can't imagine her with Penn but he can with Clarence. Howard said he can see her with him too.
Howard asked Vinnie if she was sending him tapes too. Vinnie said she didn't. Howard told Fred to play more of those tapes. Vinnie asked them to please stop. Howard let the clips play and Vinnie was chuckling at them. Howard said he was going to throw up in his briefcase.
Howard told Fred to stop it for a minute. Vinnie was talking about being in his underpants and it was kind of Anthony Weiner-ish in a way. Vinnie said he was only with one person though. He said this was his future wife. Howard said he must have made a sex tape at some point. Vinnie said never.
Gary said Vinnie brought him the tapes and he had about 9 hours of stuff. He had to watch all of it to find those clips. Gary said he was bringing Debbie around with the camera and showing her everything he does during the day.
Vinnie was telling Howard about what he was up to back then so Howard cut him off and told Fred to play more. Fred played some more clips and Vinnie was going on and on about the clothes he had. He told her how much he loves her and started speaking in Italian. Howard said he was speaking in tongues.
Howard played a song parody where they had Vinnie's clips singing ''Hell I Love You I'm Scratching My Balls.'' Howard let Vinnie go and went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a hair salon asking for a pussy braid and giving the name Olive Blacock. Fred also played Dixie Chicks performing ''Landslide'' as they were coming back.
Howard said that Natalie has been very busy Tweeting lately. He said that she's very popular on Twitter. He said he just wants to fuck her hard when he hears that song. Robin said she did too. Howard said he thought that she had a very dainty clitoris.
Howard said they're looking for women who would like to win a date for their father from the Bunny Ranch. Howard took a call from a guy and ended up asking if he wanted to play a game for the chance to win an iPad 2. The guy said he would. Howard got in a plug for the sponsor which was Citrix and GoToMyPC.com. Howard said he would ask Little Lupe who she would rather have sex with and the caller had to guess what she would say.
Howard gave the caller, Tom, a practice one. He asked if it would be Scott the Engineer or Ronnie Mund. The caller guessed Ronnie. Howard played Lupe's answer. She said she would fuck Ronnie because he's always looking angry and she would punch him in the face.
Howard gave Tom the first official question and that was between Fred and Howard. Tom said he would go with Howard. Lupe's answer was Howard.
Howard gave Tom the next question which was between High Pitch Eric or Jeff the Drunk. Howard said Eric is a big, fat, disgusting, blood tooth, mother fucker and then there's Jeff. Howard asked Tom who Lupe is going to say. He said she'll say Jeff the Drunk. Howard asked Robin who she would fuck. Robin said she would have to go with Jeff too. Lupe's answer was High Pitch Eric.
Howard gave Tom the next choice which was Eric the Midget or Beetlejuice. Tom said he would go with Eric the Midget. Howard asked Robin who she would pick. Robin said she would go with Eric. Howard said he'd go with Beetlejuice. Robin said he messes himself and wears a diaper. Howard said they don't know what Eric is doing. Robin said that's true. Lupe's answer was Eric the Midget. She said they were both really ugly but she'd have to pick one.
Howard said the next choice was Big Foot or Gary the Retard. Tom said he would say Big Foot. Robin said ''Yuck.'' Robin said the two choices were so bad. She'd have to go with Big Foot. Lupe said she would pick Big Foot. Howard said the caller won. He gave the company a plug and set the caller up with that.
Howard congratulated Jeff on Robin picking him over Eric. Howard said that's great for him. Howard told Jeff he's comfortable with his decision about Tabitha. Robin said she is too. Howard said he's grateful actually. They went to break after that.
Howard said they have a new Miss Howard TV coming in. Her name is Ariana Loken and she's a web cam girl. Howard said she's very beautiful. Howard asked if Ronnie picked out her bikini. Ariana said that he did.
Howard asked what a web cam girl is. She said she started out with Playboy Live and she didn't want to do it at first. Howard asked where she's from. She said she's from Las Vegas. Howard asked what she does on her cam. She said she gets naked but doesn't get explicit. She said she gets $5.99 a minute for that. She said she will get completely naked and touch herself but not really graphic. Howard asked why playboy is so uptight. Ariana said she found a cock pop that she thought the guys would love and she tried it. She said that the Playboy TV people told her she had to stop using it. Howard said he doesn't get why they're so against that. Ariana said that they might be trying to keep that good girl thing going.
Howard asked what kind of time she spends on the cam. She said she goes on around 5pm. She said she can get on at any time though. Howard asked what happens when the guys get on with her privately. She said that every guy is different and some guys just want to talk to her. She said some guys will want to see her dance.
Howard asked how long they stay on the line. She said she's had someone with her for 2 and a half hours. Howard tried to do the math. He figured $5.99 a minute with 60 minutes in an hour which he rounded up to $6 an hour. Howard went through the math bit by bit and figured it was $720. Howard tried to figure out the half hour and came up with $1020. No one was sure if he was right.
Ariana said she only gets 60 percent of that. Howard had to do more math and came up with about $600 after he took the $20 off the $1020 to make it simpler. Howard said he had used up all of her time doing math so he apologized to her for that.
Howard asked Ariana about the money and if she thinks a girl should get into that business. Ariana said that she knows girls who can make a grand a night. Howard asked if they could make $100,000 a year doing that. She said that is possible. Howard did some more math trying to figure out what $1000 a night would be. He came up with $200,000 if you worked every day for 10 months of the year. He said that's good money.
Howard said he can give up his dream to be an accountant some day. He said he can imagine this as a bit on Saturday Night Live as the world's worst accountant. He said they might as well steal that idea from him. He said everyone else does. He imagined the accountant counting on his toes and then having his secretary coming in and using her fingers too.
Howard asked Ariana if she's lesbo. She said she's straight but she doesn't have a boyfriend right now. She said that they're taking a break. Howard said that means that he cheated on her. She said he didn't but another one did. Howard said he can't imagine someone cheating on her. Ariana said that her first boyfriend had cheated on her the whole time they were together. He got another girl pregnant during that time. Howard said he can't imagine a guy cheating on her. He asked if she gives him anal. Ariana said she has the tiniest butthole from what her boyfriend told her. She said that they tried but it wasn't getting in. She said that she can get a finger in there but that's about it. Howard said his penis is so small that it's like a finger. He said he bets he could get it in there.
Howard said he's very proud that Ariana is representing Howard TV. She claims that she doesn't drink or smoke or any of that. Howard asked how long she's going to be a web cam girl. She said no longer than 2 more years. She said she'd like to do more modeling and she's going to school to be a paralegal. Howard asked if that's where you're a lawyer for paralyzed people. She said she doesn't want to go to law school so she's doing this instead.
Howard asked how her parents reacted to her being a web cam girl. She said her mom is fine with it. Howard asked if her mom has a tiny butthole too. She said she waxes her mom so she knows she does have a small one. Howard asked how that works. Ariana told Howard how she puts her mom on the floor and waxes her but she's not completely waxed. She said she would like to get the lips but she doesn't have a lot of hair there. Howard said that sounds so inappropriate. Ariana said it's really not. Howard said he wants the mother to come in there.
They brought Ariana's mom in a short time later. Howard asked Mom about the waxing and if it's weird for her. She said that it was weird at first but not anymore. She said she started when Ariana started doing the waxing to save some money. Howard said she's licensed to do that. Howard asked mom if she spreads her legs wide open. Mom said she does spread them enough, but not wide open. Howard asked if she pours the wax on her. Mom said that she smears it on with a stick. She said it's easier for her to shave her lips but sometimes she has had her wax them. Mom said she has waxed Ariana. She said that she does that but she has never seen hair down there by her ass.
Robin asked if the mom is still with the dad. They said that she's not. Howard asked more about the shaving and waxing. Mom said that she lets her wax her lips sometimes but not all the time. Howard said that they're both very lovely. He said they seem to get along great too. Howard asked Mom if she knew her daughter had a tiny anal opening. She said she did know that. Ariana said she gets in the doggy style position to get it done. They both said it was very non-sexual though.
Howard tired to read the plug for Ariana but he didn't understand what he was reading. Ariana tried to help and said that she's on CamWithHer.com and she's on the Playboy Cyber Club as well. Howard still had no idea what she was talking about.
Ariana's mom told Howard about how they were once in a room dancing around and Ariana accidentally sat on her brother's face when her pajamas rolled up. She wasn't wearing any panties so her pussy hit his face. She said that he just kept playing his game and didn't even pay attention to it. She said that's the way their family is. It was no big deal.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who did the spanking in the family. Mom said that she was a good girl and she didn't have to be spanked. Another caller said he's on the cam all the time and he goes by DaBadAss (JD's online name). He said he spends like 10 grand on her every year. Howard let him go and thanked Ariana and her mom for coming in.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon came in and ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked what he would be doing if he wasn't the King of Media. Howard said it wouldn't make a difference because he would work hard at whatever he did. Howard said anyone would love to have him as an employee. He said there's nothing satisfying about it though.
Howard asked if they're still mad at them over in Hiroshima about them bombing them. The caller said they're really not. He said that he can get laid over there too. Howard thanked the guy for calling in and protecting this country.
Howard said he was reading about this Joren Van Der Sloot guy and how he gets away with so much. He's in jail but he somehow got his girlfriend pregnant. Howard said it really is a man's world. He read about how they get to visit each other in prison and she can bring him candy and things like that. Robin said she wants to know what prison that is. He gets to sell the candy from his cell so he has a snack bar going in there. Howard said they believe that this girl worked at the casino where Joren met the girl he allegedly killed.
Robin got to her news and read about an actor in Lost and some movies. He's 51 and just married a 16 year old girl in Las Vegas. Robin said he's speaking out about it and he says that love knows no age. Robin said the guy doesn't think that age makes a difference and he did get the consent from the mom. Howard saw her and said she looks like she's in her 20s. He said he can see why he likes her. Robin said the guy's name is Doug Hutchison.
Robin read about Tracy Morgan going to make an apology speech at some event today. Robin said that he's been under fire after a performance where he said he'd stab his son if he ever came out of the closet. Howard said he called Tracy and asked what he's going to get out of this and Tracy said he's engaged to a man now.
Howard said it doesn't make sense to apologize to the gays. He said he should be apologizing to everyone so everyone can hear what he has to say. Howard played an interview Sal and Richard did with a guy in Harlem. The guy was saying all kinds of anti-gay stuff so this is the kind of guy who needs to hear what Tracy is saying now.
Robin asked Howard if he knows who Crystal Harris is. Howard said he thought she was on Dancing with the Stars. Robin said he was wrong. Howard guessed a few more times and had no idea it was Hugh Hefner's ex-fiancee. Robin said she's going to give back the engagement ring. Robin said that she says she didn't want to hook her wagon to an 85 year old guy. Howard said he read she's holding out for the pope. He said her first boyfriend was the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. Robin had some audio of Crystal's single. Howard said it was bad. He said you know it's in trouble when they cover up the voice with the music. They went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:30am, Robin got back to her news and read a story about some high school kids who are accused of sexually harassing a team mate. They're accused of beating the victim with their genitals. They may have done it up to 10 times. Robin said she's surprised she doesn't read more stories like this since the wrestling outfits kind of make it easy to do.
Robin read about Ryan Dunn from the Jackass crew dying yesterday. Robin said he fatally crashed his Porsche. Howard asked if they ever had him on the show. Gary said they didn't. Howard said he was Tweeting right before he died where he was drinking. Robin read that they say he reached speeds of about 110 miles per hour before crashing. Robin said he killed himself and a passenger. Howard said he wouldn't get in a car with a guy from Jackass who was drinking. Robin said she wouldn't get in a car with any of the Jackasses. Howard said he saw the picture of the car and it's reduced to almost nothing. Robin said one guy said he wasn't that drunk. Howard said he thought the word to describe the car was eviscerated but Robin said he was wrong. Robin said that they're saying that he may have been drinking shots that night. Howard said he's glad he didn't take out another car. Robin said he did take out the passenger.
Howard said that he got some email about the Alex Bennett show. He said people were wondering who the hell Alex Bennett is. Howard said people told him he let him off way to easy. Howard said he doesn't know what happened there. He said he didn't seem to want to fight with him so he didn't fight. There were also people saying they will leave Sirius if he leaves and he hopes that management knows that. Howard said they must know that there.
Howard read some email about Benjy's stunt and people were saying that it was great and they actually added service thanks to that. Howard said someone else told him to stop fretting over the stunt and just move on. Howard read another one about Alex Bennett and his response to Benjy's antics. The writer pointed out that it's the byproduct of what he did that makes it great for the show and the fans. One writer asked that they never have Ass Napkin Ed on the phone again. Howard said this guy does not like him but he does.
Robin got back to her news and read about the gay rights bill that the NY State Senate is mulling over. Robin said that they are trying to figure this one out since it's tied to another bill.
Robin read about this NFL player who has come out against gay marriage. She said that he has said he would have given up his Super Bowl, game winning, catch to make that bill go away. Howard said he figures this guy is religious. Robin said he's right. Robin read about what he's been saying about the whole thing. Howard said it's all nonsense and these religious freaks are all homophobes and they're probably all homosexual themselves. Howard said they found that the biggest homophobes have the biggest reaction to gay porn according to a study that was done. Robin said marriage has been evolving over the years and there was a time when different races weren't even allowed to marry. She said this is just another hurdle that we have to get over. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about the new graphic pictures that are going to be featured on cigarette carton in the near future.
Robin asked Howard how much is too much alcohol to drive. Howard said he's very conservative when it comes to that. He said no more than one glass of wine. He said he doesn't think two glasses of wine is acceptable. Howard said he doesn't want to be in a car with someone drunk. Robin said that's what a study has found and they say that no amount of alcohol is safe. Howard said he will smoke 5 joints and go for a joy ride. That cracked Robin up. Howard said he was just joking of course. Howard said you have to be straight when you drive. He said he was getting in the car the other day and he took note of these huge metal things they drive in and how they can be deadly weapons. Howard said he won't drink and drive.
Robin read about a study that was done about what the most annoying noise is. Howard said it's Gary clearing his throat. That led to Fred playing that sound along with Richard Simmons saying ''GARY! Gary! Gary where are you?'' Robin said they found that a child's whining is the most annoying sound. Robin said they had people doing simple math problems while listening to these noises. Fred played a bunch of really annoying sounds as they were talking about that.
Robin read about portable swimming pools and how kids have to be very careful around them. Robin said that miniature pools can still be a drowning risk just as dangerous as a full sized pool.
Howard took a call for Wendy the Retard. He asked if she has one of those pools. She said they got rid of it because they didn't want the baby to drown in it. Howard said she's retarded and she knows that. Howard asked how many drinks she'll have before driving. She said one or two. She doesn't drive a car but she can ride a bike. Howard asked if she ever smells the seat afterward. She said she does and it smells very foul. Howard asked if she likes the smell. She kept saying yes to all of Howard's questions.
Wendy asked Howard if she can help her out with money. Howard said it's always the same question. Wendy said they can hardly keep the bills paid and they've been eating out of the dumpsters. Howard asked if that is true. Robin said it's not true and she's lying to them. Wendy said they go to a dumpster by her mom's work and they grab cheesecake and milk. Howard laughed. Wendy said she ate a cheesecake out of the dumpster yesterday. Howard said she also told Jason that she was killing cats and eating them. Howard asked why she would lie about that.
Wendy said that she hardly has any food left because her brother ate it. Jason came in and said that she ordered a bunch of stuff that she can't pay for it. She said she did that because they had free shipping. Howard said he believes that she's eating out of a dumpster but not because she doesn't have money. Howard asked if she's still fat. Wendy said she's skinny at 220 pounds. Howard said she's like 5 feet tall. He said she's getting food from somewhere.
Howard said maybe next time he gets some money he'll call her. Robin said she's not supposed to call them. Howard said she promised she would never call him again. Wendy said this is an emergency. Robin said she said she wouldn't call no matter what. Wendy started to cry and said she has no food left. She said neither does her mom. Robin told her to put her mom on the phone.
Howard asked Wendy if she's ever had to eat her own doody. Wendy said she did that the other day. She found some bread in a dumpster and put the doody on that. She had croutons on top of that. Howard asked if she washed it down with her own urine. Wendy said yes since she was saying yes to everything. Howard said he'll give her a call if they come up with any money. Wendy said she really needs it. Robin said she thinks that she's scamming them. Wendy said they hardly have anything left in the house.
Howard asked Wendy if she's a retarded con artist. Wendy was still going on and on about how she had no food in the house. Howard wished her luck and let her go. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about the Barak Obama impersonator who was thrown off stage the other day. Robin said this guy is now saying that the reason he was ushered off stage was that he thought it was a technical error. She had some audio of him talking about that. Robin said the organizers of the vent said they don't want racial material in a show like that.
Robin read about a quadriplegic man who wasn't allowed to fly on an airline because the pilot said he couldn't. Robin said the guy says the pilot wouldn't allow him on the plane even though he has a special strap for his wheelchair. Robin said that the guy's mother is very upset about this treatment of her son. She had some audio of that woman talking about what happened.
Robin read about Susan Boyle getting a musical written about her.
Robin had some audio of Marilyn Monroe that she had Howard play. Robin said the dress that she wore in a movie has attracted a 7 figure bid.
Robin had some audio of Cameron Diaz talking about being caught on camera feeding popcorn to Alex Rodriguez. Howard said he saw a picture of Cameron in the paper and she's a really good looking girl. Howard said A-Rod must be banging her hard too. He said he must bang her ''Caveman style.'' Howard said that's something he can't do himself.
Robin had a story about a kid who goes to Apple stores to record his dancing and he's become a bit of a sensation on the internet. Robin had some audio of the kid talking about that.
Robin read about the new movie ''Bad Teacher'' and had some audio of Justin Timberlake talking about working with his ex, Cameron Diaz, in the movie. They spent a minute on that and then ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon said he wanted to start off talking about Sal and Richard but they were busy making a prank call right now. He said they'll come down when they're done with that. Jon said that Sal and Richard made an appearance and they did a Q and A thing with the fans. Jon said that Sal was saying that they were working on premises for prank calls they'll make when the Stern Show ends. Jon said he doesn't think Sal realized what he was saying as he said it. Sal claimed that he had mis-quoted himself. He had Teddy play that part of the show.
After playing the clip Sal was in the studio so Jon asked him what he was thinking. Sal said he didn't put it together properly when he said that. He said it was just messed up. Jon asked him what he was trying to say. Sal said people ask what they're going to do when the show is over. He said they were thinking that they could put out a prank call CD when Howard retires. Gary said that it came across as kind of shady. Sal said that everything he does there is for the show. He said they constantly have a think tank going with the prank calls. Sal said when the show is over they'll have to come up with new premises. He said he's there for another 4 and a half years.
Gary asked Sal what he meant when he said he was working on premises for after the show ends. Sal said he just said it wrong. He said that he isn't talking about present day. Sal said he would be upset if he were Howard too.
Jon wanted Sal to explain what he said at that event but Sal said he just spoke wrong and he has nothing to hide. He said he just didn't present it properly. He said he presents all of his great ideas on the show. When the show ends they will work on a prank call CD. Sal said that he still has no idea what he said that night.
Jon asked Richard if he realized what Sal had said. Richard said he didn't want to be like a parent and correct him. He said he just lets him say what he says. He said they had an idea for a premise yesterday and they made the call today.
Benjy asked how they found out about this. Gary said that they had a fan send in the clip and point it out. Sal said he had no reason to be upset because he had just ''befuddled my words...'' Gary laughed when he heard that.
Jon said that it sounded like he was setting aside some ideas and that's what led to what happened today. Sal said he's really not setting anything aside.
Gary said that the love between Sal and Richard is funny. He said Richard said he didn't want to throw Sal under the bus but he went into the studio and did that. Richard said Sal just mis-spoke and he'll take anything for Sal.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal knows what he's doing and he just plays stupid. He said that no one can be that dumb. Sal thanked the guy for the call. Gary said the guy is saying he's evil and shady. Sal said he doesn't care, he's done with this horse shit.
Another caller said that Sal doesn't think that far ahead and he thinks that he was just making it up to get the crowd worked up. He said he doesn't think that he meant any ill will toward Howard.
Jon said this caller brought up something interesting. He said Sal does rise to the crowd and he gives it to them. Sal said people pay to come and see them and they ask questions that they're curious about. He said he didn't put his comment in the proper terms. He said it didn't mean anything by it. Benjy said he likes that the crowd was cheering for a CD that might come out in 2017.
Gary and Jon asked about the flying around and why they're doing these shows. Richard said they don't know what's going to happen in 4 and a half years so they're trying to make some money now. He said it's tough to fly around but they have to make some money. Richard said they may just focus on the two of them and not bring anyone else.
Jon took a call from a guy who kind of said that Sal is a little shady and a little stupid. Sal said that he's smart enough to get on this show. He said that he doesn't think he's shady either. He said he went on the show and said what he said and he told them what his answer was. He said he hopes that Gary knows how determined he is to do the best he can for the show.
Richard said Sal can get confused when he's speaking, especially in front of Howard. Gary asked why Richard doesn't have a bunch of times when he's screwed up saying things. Richard said he didn't know. Sal said that Gary has said things about Howard in the past that he shouldn't have said and Howard has gone off on him about that. Gary said that was in 1986. They argued about that for a few minutes and then went to break.
Richard told the guys that Sal tried to give a homeless guy one of those fake cigarettes and the guy said he's smoked some crazy shit in his life but he's not putting that shit in there.
Jon and Gary asked Sal about the hand shaking thing he was having issues with. Sal said that he did give up the Propecia and the shakes stopped . He said he started with the Rogaine after that. Gary said he thought he had given up the Propecia because his hair was looking a little thinner. Sal figured he was just goofing on him by saying that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal is a real fuck up and it's kind of sad that Richard is always there to pick up the pieces. The guy said that he has to stop defending him so much.
Jon asked if they ever get into fights. Richard said they get annoyed with each other once in a while. He said it's just little things though.
Jon said they've been together for a long time so you'd think it would boil over. The guys said it never has. Benjy asked what Richard would like Sal to change if he could change one thing. Richard said he'd like him to give up the fake cigarettes.
A caller told the guys that Howard never called Sal shady. He said that Howard said it was ''shitty'' and Sal heard it as ''shady'' so Howard heard that and let him go off on him. Sal said he thought he heard the word shady. He said he heard the clip later and he did say ''shitty.'' Richard said that Sal is usually yelling in the hall and he may not hear exactly what Howard is saying.
Richard said they packed up some porn they had in their office. He said they weren't watching any of it so they packed it all up. Richard said he has done that with his DVDs at home but he ripped them all to his computer so he can watch them. Sal said he's on TubeGalore every day so he's not stoping watching the porn. He said he's killing two birds with one stone by doing that. He watches the stuff for the show and for himself.
Jon asked the guys about Ariana and her mom coming in and talking about waxing each other. They talked about how funny that was. Jon said that Gange wasn't up there today either. He wondered if he's taken Howard's words to heart and he won't be doing that anymore. Gary said he thinks it's killing Gange not to be there. He said that he could just say he likes to go to strip clubs and see hot chicks. He always says it's hard work and he has to do it.
Ronnie said that Gange called him like 3 times when he was out in Indy at Rick's. He said that they were talking about the girls out there when he called. He said he thinks he was upset he wasn't out there.
Jon asked Ronnie what he thinks about Sal's comments at that event. Ronnie said he's kind of like him and he says shit when he gets drunk. He said he can't sell anything that Howard owns. Gary said that Sal was saying that they have ideas that they aren't using there that they would use later. Ronnie said he didn't get that when he heard it.
Ronnie said they're going to be going out to Nebraska or somewhere like that and Gange is going to go on that trip. He said he was hoping that Gange would be there today to send him in to pick out Ariana's outfit. Ronnie said that he just walked in and picked something out. He said she was pretty cut and dry though. He said she had her shit together. They had to go to break a short time later.
Ronnie said his popped out but wouldn't fall out so he had to pull it out. He said it was like he had a little kid or something. He said it looked like a pistachio nut. Gary said they give you a funnel to pee into so you can save it and bring it to the doctor. Gary said that's what he did and he had to change his diet and have more citrus because of that.
Jon said Vinnie is dealing with that pain and then they played the clips of his tapes. He said Vinnie claims they're taken out of context. Gary said they're pretty much in context. He said he saw the tapes. He explained what he saw and how they were made to show Debbie what her life was going to be like.
Benjy said that Vinnie revealed that they hadn't met yet when he made those tapes. Gary said Vinnie is in tighty whiteys in those tapes so that's the disturbing thing about them.
Gary said Vinnie insisted that he be there when he watched them at first. He said that he eventually got them all and went through them. Jon asked the guys if they had ever made a tape like that. No one had. Ronnie said they didn't have tape back when he was dating. He said he did write a lot of love letters. Jon asked what he would say in them. Ronnie said he never wrote ''take me back'' but he would write the usual poems and shit like that. Jon asked if the letters helped or hurt. Ronnie said they helped. He couldn't' think of any of what he wrote. Gary said they were probably ''Hickory Dickory Dock...'' Jon said he had no idea Ronnie was doing that. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how tired he was after going to bed at 9. He said Beth came home and woke him up around 11:30. He said he had to take some Ambien. He said once he's up he's up. He said the longer he waited the more fucked up he'd be. He said Beth needed him so he stayed up for a little while and then had sex with her. He said he had about 25 minutes before the Ambien kicked in so they had sex. He said he ran and got himself prepped for sex. Howard said he doesn't have his rubbers where they should be. Howard said they were off to the races after that. Howard said he cleaned up after sex and then the Ambien kicked in.
Howard said he didn't know he was getting sex otherwise he may have been able to skip the Ambien. He said she was laying on his chest and that's when he knows it's time for sex. He said that it can be helpful in the time of distress to have sex. He said he did his part.
Howard said Beth saw Alexa Ray Joel at this event she was out at. She saw some other people too. He wasn't sure what event it was that she was at. Howard said when she left the house he asked her where her pants were. He said he didn't like her going out like that but what is he going to do?
Howard said he used to laugh at photographers but now he sees what they do. He said he was trying to take some shots around the apartment but they weren't all that great. He said he's still an amateur. Howard said he wants to be good at whatever he does. He said he wanted to be great at chess and now he wants to be great at this.
Howard said this web site Kelby Training is great for learning photography. He said you have to pay for the lessons. Howard said the guy who was in this video he watched was talking about how to be a great photographer. He said he was saying that you take pictures wherever you can go. He said he's thinking of doing some shoots with Robin and Fred. He said the dude was also talking about taking a picture of a Chinese woman smoking a cigarette in the city. He said that can be a classic picture no matter what. Howard said this guy is brilliant.
Robin said she likes how Howard always finds a hero when he finds a new hobby. Howard had a few when he was studying chess. Now he wants to learn with Jay Meizel. Howard said the guy is a pro. Howard said he's sure this guy could open him up. Howard said he thinks he gets a great deal of satisfaction from this. He thinks.
Howard said he's dreading going to Richard's wedding. He said he should have just said he couldn't go. He said he's holding it in the greatest time of the year. He said he doesn't want to sit there with Richard that weekend.
Howard said he loves Richard and he knows he'll come in and tell him not to worry about it. He said he really doesn't want to go. He said it won't fix it not going. Howard said he would like to honor him and his wife with his presence. Robin said it would be nice if he went even if he wasn't the famous guy. Howard said he's the boss too.
Howard said he has plans but he may cancel to go to Richard's wedding. He said the truth is he doesn't want to go but he feels he has to. He said he wonders what his psychiatrist would say about all of that. Howard said he tells him to do whatever he wants and then he tells him he has to think about people's feelings. He said it's very conflicting.
Howard said he pretends and thinks he should do it. He said he really does have loving feelings for Richard too though. Howard said he thinks that Robin could be his psychiatrist. She was telling him he doesn't have to sacrifice himself for someone he loves. Howard said that's not what he's doing.
Robin said he can wave some things off. She said guilting himself into something isn't right. She told him not to do it. Howard said it's not just guilt. He said he cares about the guy. He said he knows it would make Richard happy if he went. He said he'd be doing something for him. Howard said he doesn't feel good about it though. He said he would feel good for Richard. Robin told him not to do it. Howard said he doesn't want everyone writing in about it if he doesn't go.
Richard came in and Howard said he looks horrible. He said he's too thin now. He's like an anorexic chick. Richard said he feels so much better but he can't win. He said there is no good look for him. Howard said he knows he's going to tell him he doesn't have to come to the wedding. Richard said he knows Howard wants to make him happy so he has a suggestion. Howard said he knows he's going to tell him not to worry about it. He said he's going to thank him for his job. Howard said he'll go as high as $1,500.
Richard said if Howard plays the two prank calls he turned own last week they have a deal. Howard said he won't do it. He said he doesn't think that people would understand the joke with the one call they did. They took clips of someone saying ''faggot'' over and over again from the Brutal Master thing. He said people won't get the joke. He said you'd have to be a hard core fan knowing what it was. Howard said he's afraid the perception would be wrong. That's why he axed that one. Howard said the other one was a Gary the Retard call and he feels that it was just too much. He said it was more hurtful than it is when he does it. Howard said it was like they were hitting him over the head with a hammer.
Howard said he'll always defend the guys making the calls but there are times when he has to turn things down. Howard said he got maybe 20 song parodies for Robin this morning and only one was good. He said they don't make him laugh. Howard said he's the editor in chief. Richard said he tells the fans that he sent in songs for 3 or 4 years that didn't get played. Howard said he still rejects Richard's songs. He said they weren't funny but that's alright. He said the guy is trying. He said he finds a hit once in a while though. Howard said Benjy hits home runs too.
Howard said he sent out a memo last night and he told the guys that they are the best writing staff out there. He said he was pissing in his pants over that stuff. He said Fred is consistently funny. He said you can rely on him. He said Sal and Richard hit it out of the park and so did Jason. Howard said they hit it out of the park with the stuff they wrote for this bit.
Howard said he loves Richard and he wishes him a long and happy marriage but he doesn't want to go. Richard said he knows he wanted to make him happy by coming to the wedding. Richard said he would be happy if he played those bits. Howard said he's protecting the show and protecting Richard by not playing them. Richard said he doesn't have to feel like he has to come to the wedding.
Howard said Robin says she has plans to go away that weekend. Robin said she has to go with people who have their own commitments. She said they can only take off certain times. Howard said their wedding is on a Saturday. Robin said her friends have to take off when they can take off. Robin said that they have mid week to mid week time. Howard said he didn't believe that. He asked if she's lying. Robin said she is not lying.
Howard said people take off the whole weekend through the week. Robin said her friends work in the medical profession. Howard asked how she met these people. Robin said she's known them all her life. It's her friend Kathy. Howard said he didn't believe that she was taking off that mid week to mid week vacation. Robin said that's the way it is. Howard said she's not telling the truth. Richard said he's not upset with Robin. Howard said of course he's not. She did it the right way.
Howard said he told the friends he has coming that he might have to go to this wedding. Richard asked if they should invite them too. Howard said they would never come. He said they don't know him. Richard said he's really okay with him not coming. Howard said he still feels he has to do it. Howard let Richard go after that. He said he's very skinny and very fit.
Howard said he approved 12 pictures for Hamptons magazine and they showed the two that they're going to use and he doesn't think they're his best. He said he's okay with them using them though.
Pete asked if he thinks that Katie was wet when he was shooting her. Howard said of course she was. He said she got so wet that they had to stop the shoot. He said there was a big wet stain down there in some of the pictures.
Howard said he never once thought of fucking her or her fucking him. He said he never thought about her getting hot for him either. Pete asked how Beth handled it. Howard said she was 100 percent gracious. He said he took shots of them walking on the beach and sitting on the dunes. He said he was worried about getting ticks out there. He just wanted to get it over with so no ticks would walk up his leg.
Howard said he was watching a video where a photographer was talking about how you should get on your belly if you have to. He said he was more worried about ticks than anything.
Howard said the girls were wearing different outfits. He said he did some swimsuit shots too. Pete asked if they were doing it to get on the cover of the magazine. Howard said that Beth had already done a shot with another photographer. Howard said Beth thought they were good and she suggested that he send them over. Howard said they told him they wanted to use one for the cover. He said he knows part of it is that he's Howard Stern and they won't just use the cover shot because of that. He said they don't want to fuck up the whole magazine.
Pete asked if Katie was in on that magical moment that they talk about in the news reports. Howard said he shot some with her and some with Beth. He said she wasn't part of that. Howard said he did a bunch of shots and he thinks that he took about 400 shots. Robin asked what he looks at them on. He said he puts them on his computer. He picked out the good ones on there. Howard said Beth was helping with that too. He said she told him when he was wrong about the shots.
Howard said he sat down with Beth and Katie and had them pick out what they were comfortable with. Pete asked if he wants to be a big wig in the Hamptons. Howard said he's already one in the radio business. He said he's not looking to be a big wig anywhere. He just wants to blend in. Pete said he has the money already. Howard said he doesn't want it and just leave him alone.
Howard said he knows where Pete is going with this. Pete said he's just saying that he chose the Hamptons instead of going to Florida. Howard said he can drive to the Hamptons, that's why he chose it. Howard said he used to sit in Detroit in his room waiting to do the next radio show. He said he doesn't want to travel. He doesn't care about other countries.
Pete asked how Billy Joel feels about him doing that shoot. Howard said Billy doesn't care. He said Billy is having a party and he's no longer married to her. He said if he cared he'd still be married to her. Howard said he'd like to learn how to divorce like that. He said he wants to learn how to get along with people on that level. He said they still get along. He said anyone who he breaks up with hates him.
Howard said they'll use the cover photo and there will be a couple of others inside the magazine. He said that's that.
Pete asked Howard about the women he dated before he met Beth. He said he was wondering about the married women that he went out with. Howard said it was wrong to do that but he did it. He said that the women who were married were the ones who were committing adultery. He said he was just part of it and it didn't matter to him at the time. Howard said he figured that he wouldn't get emotionally involved with them if they were married. Pete asked about the husband. Howard said it's wrong whenever you do something like that. He said ''shame on me.''
Pete said he was devastated when he heard that about him. Howard said he's full of it. Pete swore that he was. Howard said that one of the women confessed to him after they made love that she was married. Howard said they did it again afterward though. Howard said it's wrong and that's what he's saying. He said it's up to them to protect their marriage. It's not up to him.
Pete asked what he had that was able to break up these marriages. Howard said he didn't break up any marriages. Pete said he was getting depressed now. Howard said he didn't have to remind him of this nonsense. He said this is the real reason that he won't go to Richard's wedding. He's afraid that he's going to want to fuck his wife.
Pete told Howard to check out Shuli's wife and see how she's posting naked pictures and stuff. He said they have a very wild marriage and they might be swingers. Howard said he'll have to check that out. Pete said she's Christine Egar on Facebook.
Howard thanked Pete for the call and let him go. Robin asked what's going on with Shuli's wife. She said Pete was saying she was naked but then he said that she was in a bathing suit.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he wanted to ask about that magazine but Pete took that question. He asked if he had another game to play for an iPad 2. Howard said he didn't. Howard told the guy about what he had for dinner last night. He said he had spaghetti from this place called Il Vilino or something like that.
Robin said this is like when people sell the baby pictures to the tabloids. She said they're selling their weddings now. Howard said that's what people do. He said it's become a way for people to have a career in show business. He said that they normally wouldn't have one.
Howard said he has never seen anything more vapid and shallow than Paris Hilton but they get viewers. Howard said that he can't believe how much travel they do and how none of the people on her show work. Howard said the only person who did work was the assistant and they raked her over the coals on that show.
Howard said he's sure that Nick can go out and host something. He said that his fiancee just got a job doing some TV show. This TV show will pay for their wedding too. Howard said he's watching this Tatum and Ryan O'Neal show and he can't get enough. He said he likes that Oprah said she wasn't going to put this kind of stuff on her network. Howard said Oprah said she was shocked to see one reality show after another and people being exploited. She was going to elevate and lift people. She now has two reality shows with Chaz Bono and Tatum O'Neal. She calls them ''Docuseries'' instead of reality show. Howard said she went to famous dysfunctional people instead of just dysfunctional people. He said Oprah is a hypocrite.
Howard said people say he's a scum bag but he could have created a ton of reality shows. Howard said no. He said he doesn't need to be a part of that.
Robin said she got a note the other day about a Biography channel thing where they wanted to talk to people about making the country laugh again. She said she didn't want to do that because she didn't have time for it. Howard said that's a good answer. She's busy making America laugh now. Robin said they stayed on the air through the whole thing. Howard said she's right. Robin said everyone else took a hiatus and didn't know what to do. Howard said she's right about that.
Howard said he has a lot to get to so he has to take a break. He had ''Ambien Throat'' this morning so he was clearing it.
Robin asked if they're going to get in touch with Tracy Morgan. Gary came in and said that he told the publicist that they would give him the most fair shot than anyone else. Gary said they told him he's not doing any one on one interviews right now. Howard figured he'd end up on Ellen's show. Robin was saying he'll end up on Oprah or Dr. Phil or something. Oprah is done though so he won't end up there. Howard said that they could get George Takei in there too. Gary said he'll work on that.
Howard came back and said that the Foo Fighters have the number one song in the country right now. He said he was listening to a countdown on the morning show the other day. He said he was listening to Nicole on that morning show on Sirius Hits 1. Howard said they were doing that countdown and then the Foo Fighters came on and he felt good about that. He said it's such a good song too.
Howard went through the top 5 songs and it showed that Adele was number 1. Howard said this was on Sirius Hits 1 that he heard the Foo Fighters. He wished that he could cut into their programming and ask them about it. Gary said the top 5 they have is from Billboard. Gary said he's not sure what their number 1 is on that show. It could be the most requested.
Gary was taking some pills so Howard asked what they were. Gary said one was a vitamin and the other was for his kidney stones. Howard said maybe the vitamins are causing the kidney stones. Howard said he never takes vitamins. He said he thinks that's all bullshit. Robin said if you eat poorly then you should take them. Gary said he doesn't eat enough vegetables so that's why he takes them. Howard said vitamins gave him diarrhea. He did try them for a while.
Robin quickly mentioned that Foo Fighters ''Rope'' is number 1 on the rock charts.
Gary came in and told Howard about his vitamins. Howard said he's as healthy as a horse and he doesn't take them. Howard said he's tried them in the past but he can't do it. Gary said he was trying vitamin C for a while but the whole pill would come out undigested. He said they were big pills so they're hard to miss.
Howard said he's thinking that maybe his body didn't need the vitamin C. Gary said he stopped taking it after that.
Howard and Scott spent a minute going back and forth arguing about that. Howard said Scott believes a big man in the sky invented all of this. Howard asked if he thinks that God is a man or a woman. Scott said it's neither. Howard asked if he thinks he's white. Scott said it's neither. He said he knows it's hard for you non-believers to understand. Howard asked if God is into girls and that's why he's against gay people. Scott wasn't answering. He was just asking Howard what he believes.
Howard asked Scott if he really thinks there's an imaginary guy in the sky who came up with all of this. Scott said he really doesn't think too much about it. Howard said this does matter and there are people who don't believe in science. Howard said George W. Bush was like that. He said he kept people from doing stem cell research and things like that.
Howard asked what happened to Scott. He said that he doesn't respect him at all with his views on all of this. Scott said that it's not right. Howard said he won't have a problem with it when he gets sick and needs stem cells and embryonic research to help him out.
Howard said they asked George W. Bush about going into Iraq and if he spoke to his dad about it before going. Bush said he didn't need to speak to him, he spoke to a higher power. Howard said when Bush says that, odes he thinks that he really spoke to him or did he hear a voice in his own head. Scott said he doesn't know. He said Howard is making a bigger thing out of this than it is. He doesn't think that Bush thinks he really spoke to Jesus. Howard said Bush said he spoke to Jesus instead of his father. Scott said Bush made the right decision to go in there. He said based on the information they had that was the right decision. Howard said he has to be kidding. He said Bush lied to us. Scott told Howard he's nuts. The two of them argued about that for a minute.
Howard said Scott is insane. He got back to the Miss USA pageant and asked Robin how many she thinks believe in evolution. Howard said he thinks there will be 3. Robin said she will say 2. Robin was right. Only 2 out of the 51 were willing to say that on the show.
Howard said we should be afraid in a country where 51 people who graduated high school, and are probably in college, don't believe in evolution. Howard had some audio of the girls giving their views on evolution. He played the clips and one girl said that it shouldn't be taught in school. She said that there are so many different beliefs that it shouldn't be taught. Howard said this is insane. He said this is the kind of stuff that's going on in this country.
Another contestant said that evolution is just a theory and it's just one of many. Howard said that the number 7 coming after the number 6 is also a theory. He said maybe that shouldn't be taught in school. Howard said maybe they shouldn't teach science because all of science is a theory. Gary said you can say anything and make some people believe it's true.
Howard played another clip of a contestant talking about why she doesn't believe in evolution. She said they were all created by god for a reason. Howard said he can't believe this. Robin reminded Howard who these women are and what they do. Howard said these women were put on earth to stand around in a bikini and be judged.
Howard played some more of the contestants talking about why they don't believe in evolution. Howard said that God must have created some of these girls so guys could jerk off to them. He said he had to take a break and get to Lisa G who went out with Wayne Siegel last night. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said she must have been freaking out. Robin said it was too much to text so she had to do it in person. Robin said she has to have blood drawn and things like that so she has to try not to disrupt everyone's lives completely.
Howard said he was in his bathroom last night and he has a cover of The Beatles Abby Road in there. He said he loves that cover. He said he was looking at the cover and it was given to him by someone. He said he has a picture of Johnny Cash hanging over his toilet too. Howard said he wishes Robin would come over so he could show her. Robin said she won't get into it because she knows a whole thing will happen. Howard said they're going to have her over but he doesn't know when.
Howard said he was thinking about how The Beatles just couldn't stay together. He said he thought about the Rolling Stones and how they're still together. Robin said they have had a few changes in personnel. Howard said it's Mick and Keith. He said Keith wrote that book (Life) where he went off on Mick and he doesn't understand that. Howard said that Mick loves being with his band and going out on the road. Robin asked if he has read the book. Howard said he didn't but he has read excerpts. Robin said she got the book so she can see what he has to say in context.
Howard said you have to be a lunatic to write a book like that. He said somewhere in your soul you have to think about self preservation. He said he must have some real jealousy and hatred for the guy. He said he's a dummy and he'd love to be able to interview the guy and tell him how nuts he must be. Howard said he thinks that he's fucked it up this time because they're not out touring now. He said Mick is doing stuff with other people. He said that you just don't make waves when you're in a hit band like that.
Howard asked Lisa if she was attracted to him. Lisa said she was entertained and she had a good date. Gary said he heard he was late and Lisa didn't like that. Lisa said he doesn't have a cell phone that he can text on. Gary said he heard her saying that she thought he was too talkative. Lisa said she was entertained and she loves a good story.
Ronnie came in and said he felt so bad for Wayne. He said he called him up about 20 to 6 and they had the date at 6. He said Wayne was caught in traffic and he was asking if he had Lisa's cell phone number. Wayne said that Lisa wouldn't give him her number. Gary said that he asked for contact information from Lisa and all she gave him was email. Lisa said that's the best way to contact her. She wasn't even thinking about her phone.
Ronnie said Wayne didn't know that they had changed the name of the place they were going to. Lisa told him she had texted him and emailed him and he told her he doesn't have a phone that gets texts. Howard said he's a businessman and he should have things like that.
Ronnie said he was trying to get Lisa's number last night and he couldn't find it. He said he called Shuli, Tim and everybody and no one answered their phones. He said Shuli finally answered and he called Wayne back and she had already gotten in touch. He said Wayne got there at 6:15 and by 7 he was on his way home already. Howard said it must have gone really awful. Lisa said she had to go somewhere at 7 so that's why it ended early. She said Wayne knew that.
Howard asked if Wayne is ever going to call her again. Ronnie said he said it was ''very nice'' and they hugged goodbye. Howard asked Lisa if she can imagine fucking him or even kissing him. Lisa said she can't even go there. Howard said she must know by now. Robin said in some cases you can know but in some you can't.
Gary said Lisa isn't being honest. She told him that you know 4 minutes in if you're going to be into a guy. Lisa said she would go out with him again though. Howard said he'd like to know what Wayne told other people. Gary said he doesn't think this is going anywhere. Howard said she should have banged him. Ronnie said Wayne went to Rick's for Lingerie night. Ronnie said he was just kidding. He said he did ask about it but he didn't go there.
Howard said he was going through his pockets and found a couple of bills of funny money in there. He said Ralph grabbed them up quickly. Howard said he hasn't been to a strip club in years and he still had that money in his pocket.
Howard said Wayne is a good guy and he's going to be honest with you if you go out with him. Ronnie said Wayne is only into himself though. He doesn't care about a relationship.
Howard said he wanted to tell a story about Wayne. He said before Lisa was on the air with them a girl who Gary knows called Gary asking about Wayne. She was interested in him. Howard said this woman had met him and she asked Gary to set him up with him. Gary called Wayne and Wayne was all excited about that. He said there was no talk of marriage or anything but Wayne was ready to go out with her. Howard said if the right girl comes along he will marry.
Wayne was on the phone so Howard asked if he's interested. Wayne said that it won't go anywhere romantically. He said he didn't think there was anything there. Lisa said she didn't either but she'd be willing to try again. She said you never know if it'll go anywhere. She was fine if Wayne didn't want to go out with her again. Howard asked if he was attracted to her. Wayne said she's fun to be with but he didn't sense that she had a good time. He said he's okay with that though.
Howard asked if he would have had sex with her if she was into him. Wayne said ''Oh yeah, why not?'' Robin asked if Wayne was into it or not. Wayne said he thinks that he might get invited to a cupcake party but there's not much more than that. He said he didn't sense much more. Howard said Lisa is getting dumped. Lisa didn't feel that way. Robin and Ronnie thought it was a rejection.
Howard asked Wayne how the date went. Wayne said he didn't even notice what she wore. Howard asked Lisa what she had on. She said she had a tight, off the shoulder black top. She said she wore flats because she heard he was 5'7'' tall. Wayne said he did notice her tight jeans. He said she looked good.
Robin said Wayne isn't gracious and he should have done things differently. Wayne said he had a great time. Robin said he said she was great but he didn't want to see her again. She said that's not the right way to do things. Robin told him that he isn't being gracious.
Howard asked what the right way is to do it. Robin said he should have said that there was no chemistry. Wayne said he did say that. Robin said that he said she was great. She thinks that he's lying. Wayne said he's not lying at all. He said he didn't see any chemistry but he would love to hang out and go out with her again.
Wayne said that they were talking about each other and they had a good time. Robin thinks that he's lying. Lisa said she thinks that it's not right. Howard said he thought he'd give it a spin and see how it goes.
Howard said he can see the two of them having fornication. He can picture Wayne mounting Lisa. He said he figured there would be some oral at the least. He told Wayne to get a new phone too. He said he should have something that can get texts.
Howard asked Lisa if she had any advice for Wayne on future dates. Robin said that they should let him keep striking out. Howard gave Wayne some plugs for his Legend Auto Group line of car dealers. Lisa told Howard about the stories Wayne told about Howard buying cars from him and how they went. Howard said he didn't know he was doing that. Lisa said she hear a lot about the cars he got from him.
Howard said they basically got on the air and said there was no chemistry. He said he's not sure what the right way is to do it. He said that he has to let her down nicely but how do you do that. Robin said there is no nice way. She said that he shouldn't lie about it though. Robin said you cant say someone is great and then say that you don't want to see them again. Robin said you say you don't have much in common or something like that.
Lisa said that sometimes people just don't call back. Howard said he did that to women and women did it to him. Lisa said that texting is the new phone call and people wonder if you should text or not text back. Lisa said Wayne is a nice guy and he will find someone. Lisa said that he might be better off with someone out by where he lives.
Howard told Gary to get his mom on the phone so he can ask her. Howard said he's pretty sure that he didn't finger her. Howard said is mother is so old fashioned that he's sure she didn't put out. Howard said she'll be honest if he's not crude with her on the phone.
Gary said Howard's mom was meditating but his father, Ben, is available. Howard got him on the line and said he's kind of hard of hearing. This might be tough.
Howard got his dad on the line and asked about this delicate subject. Howard said that when they were first dating he wanted to know about that towel picture. Ben told Howard that this friend was an engineer. He had to switch phones before finishing the story. Howard said his dad's hearing is really bad lately. He said he has to yell at him when he asks a question.
Howard asked Ben what this guy did. Ben told Howard this guy was an amateur photographer. He said he said he could take some pictures of his girlfriend if he wanted. He said the guy took her into the other room and left him alone in this other room. Ben said that he figured she could handle herself. He had no idea she was in a towel. Howard asked about the towel and what else went on. Ben said he never got that straight in his mind. Howard asked if he was surprised he got her into a towel. Ben said he was surprised that she did it. He said that she was in a Sarong and that came out very nice. He said he's not sure what they were thinking. Howard said they have to get her on the phone to get the story straight.
Howard asked Ben if he got to do more than just kiss before they got married. Ben said back in those days girls did not put out. He said they did do more than kiss though. Ben said that he did get to touch her breasts though. Howard asked if he had put his finger below the belt, would she have gone for it. Ben said she would. He said she's a human being so of course she would do that. Ben said he was checking to see where Howard was going to come from. Howard said that changes his perception of the whole thing. Ben said she wasn't a nun.
Howard said he figures his mother must have used her hand on him. Ben said back then you didn't live together first. You got married and then moved in. Ben said that it was much different back then. Howard said they did get to know each other in a way. Ben said this was not a good subject to get into. Ben said that it's more her story than his. Howard said he was getting nervous with this and it was upsetting to him.
Howard asked Ben if he was a virgin too. Ben asked if he was out of his mind. Ben said he had sexual encounters. He said he was in the army so that's where he had his experiences.
Ben said there was a show where they interviewed Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock called in and said that his grandfather had died and he had to go to the funeral. He was in the church and Morgan Freeman walks in and gives a eulogy. Ben said that Chris says that he got a letter from Freeman asking for $800,000 for showing up to the wedding and Chris said that he could kiss his ass. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about. Robin said she didn't either. Ben said he was sorry he told the story.
Howard said he never thought that his father got more than a kiss before they got married. Ben told Howard to get out of there. Howard said he can't imagine him putting his hands down her pants. Ben said he's out of his mind. He asked if he's nuts. Howard said of course he is. Ben said they got to a certain point and they didn't go any further. Ben said they had a way to go. He said he would take her home and sit in the kitchen and talk while her father was sleeping in the other room. He said he would talk in his sleep and he thought he was yelling at him.
Ben asked if that's all he had for him. Howard said he was in shock. Ben said that he was eating his Irish Oatmeal for breakfast. Howard said his dad has a tag on his boxes to let him know what to eat on what day. Ben said he has a routine that he sticks to. Ben said he has hot and cold tags on his foods. He said he goes by that to know what to eat.
Howard asked Ben why he can't just change what he eats in the morning. Ben said he has a system and he does it. He said he can't be a child. Howard asked if he's ever broken the system. Ben said he has never done that and he has been doing this for years. He said he doesn't concentrate on food. Robin said he has a whole system. Howard said he thinks this is strange because he just gets up and has what he wants to have for breakfast. Ben said that's never happened to him. It hasn't never crossed his mind. Howard said he thinks that his father has to have control. Robin said it's like OCD.
Howard asked his dad if he's afraid of losing control. Ben said it makes an easy life. He doesn't have to concentrate on food. Ben had to clear his throat a couple of times so Howard had him do that and get it out of the way.
Ben said he's happy doing what he does so why would he change? Howard asked what he will have for lunch. Ben is going to have sardines on frozen 7 grain bread. Robin said that sounded awful to him. Howard asked if the sardines have heads on them. Ben said they don't when they're in the can. Howard asked how long it takes to prepare the food. Ben said it's about 5 minutes. Howard asked if people at the track look at him when they smell the sardines. Ben said the bread thaws when he goes to the track. Ben said no one there even looks at him.
Howard asked what they're doing for dinner. Ben said that they have plans for every night. Howard asked if it annoys him when his mom doesn't know what she's going to order. Ben said that sometimes that happens. Robin asked if he ever changes his mind about what he's going to have. Ben said that he eats fish so it will only change if they change the type of fish.
Ben said that he doesn't even have to look at the menu at a diner. He knows what he's going to eat there. He goes to this diner and has a turkey burger. He said he will have a Greek salad too. Howard asked why he won't change it up once in a while. Ben said that he might do that but only if they have something very special. Howard said he doesn't like looking at the menu. Ben said he has to if they go somewhere new. Howard said he gets completely confused and he makes him pick something out for him.
Robin said there is some variance there. Howard said his daughters went to a new place and that screws up his routine. Ben said he knew what he wanted. Howard said Ben won't go to this place Ben's again. It's too far from his house.
Howard said his dad blew his mind today. He said the fact that he got his hand down his mom's pants blew his mind. Ben was ready to get off the phone at that point. Howard asked him what he's thinking about this Anthony Weiner thing. Ben said that he shouldn't have gotten married if he was going to carry on with this kind of thing. Howard sake if he did the right thing resigning. Ben said it would have been impossible to continue on. Howard said it's good that his dad doesn't have that kind of equipment to release information. Ben said everyone would know a lot about Howard if he did.
Howard said he has to talk to his mom about the towel picture. He said he'll get her on the phone some other time. Howard said he can't believe that someone duped her into getting into a towel. Howard wondered why his father would leave her alone in a room with that guy. Howard wondered what the fuck was going on. He said maybe that photographer is his father. Howard didn't let Lisa get to her news preview. He said she was what was happening so he just wrapped up and went to break.
Howard came back and sang along with the Cheap Trick song. Howard said he thought they said ''queer'' in the song but he thinks it's ''weird.'' Robin thought it was queer too. Howard said the live version of that song is even better. Fred said that it's not in their system. He was very surprised it wasn't. Howard was too since that's the version that was a hit.
Howard said his dad was shocking him with what he was saying earlier. He said that he was shook up from that. He said he can't go on with the show and may have to call in sick.
Howard said JD called in sick today. He said he hardly ever does. Howard said JD did the sick call too. He coughed into the phone like they were goofing on with Sal recently. Howard played the clip of JD's voice mail where he called in sick. Howard said he sounds more understandable in this than he ever does. His voice was shot and said he ''won't... hopefully... be better.'' At the end of it he coughed and said ''fuck'' as he did that.
Howard said Vinnie Favale called Debbie the Pet Lady. Howard said he had Shuli coming in to explain that he's not a swinger too. Howard said he never has a dull moment on the show. Shuli came in and said that his wife posted a picture of herself in a bikini and that was it. He said there are no naked pictures. He said the closest they've come to swinging is her swinging a diaper bag at him when he called her a bitch once.
Shuli said their life is crazy with the kid and some financial issues. He said they have a lot of interesting things going on. He said Pete is out of his mind.
Howard asked Shuli about Debbie the Pet Lady and how she's always calling him. Shuli told Howard that she calls him and yells and then calls back apologizing and then yells by the end of that call.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to Debbie with clips of Vinnie Favale from his love tapes. They had her telling her he was in love with her and Debbie freaked out on him. Vinnie's wife's name is Debbie said they had him saying her name. That had Debbie freaking out on him and screaming at him.
Howard said Vinnie's voice is really creepy. He and Shuli goofed on him about what he was doing back then with the tapes.
Howard played more of the Debbie prank call. She screamed through the whole thing as Vinnie was just mumbling and blowing kisses.
Shuli said that he hooked Debbie up with Angry Alice but that didn't last long. They started fighting soon after. Shuli said he thinks that Debbie sent Alice a gift and Alice didn't like it so Debbie hit the roof. Shuli said he had the two of them on the phone screaming for about 9 minutes. Howard said he missed that report. He said he has to hear that one.
Howard said he just wanted to let everyone know that Shuli isn't a swinger. Howard said Pittsburgh Pete is wrong about her being naked. Howard asked if his wife is back in shape after the baby. Shuli said that she's in great shape. He showed Benjy the picture that Pete was talking about. Howard wanted to see it too. Shuli showed that to him too. Howard said she does have a good body. Shuli said he put a ring on it. Howard said he didn't know he was so lucky. Benjy said that was post baby. Shuli said Benjy is pre-baby.
Shuli said that his wife hated being fat so she was glad to go back to being thin. Howard said Shuli is getting fat. Shuli said she's a great cook and he eats the shit out of it. Howard let Shuli get in a plug for his new CD ''Call of Shuli'' that's available at JewGoneWild.com. Shuli is also appearing at a comedy show with Scott and Ronnie this weekend too.
Howard said JD wanted to do something with Shuli at one of these shows. JD was looking for 5 or 10. Shuli thought it was 5 or 10 dollars. JD wanted 5,000. Shuli said that he went to JD and asked if he was interviewed and that's when he threw the numbers out there. Shuli said he really has no idea what it's like. He said realistically it's like $500. He said they would have flown him out to the show and taken care of accommodations. Shuli said that Artie was very generous with his money so 5 grand seems normal to him. Howard said 500 bucks for doing nothing is great.
Howard said you see a lot of crazy stuff around there. Shuli said between Scott and Ronnie it's enough. Shuli said that one day Scott said he heard he has a problem with him. He said he was told he had said something on the Wrap Up Show and he didn't even know what it was. Shuli said he has to share rooms now that they're doing other shows. He said that Ronnie and Scott have to share a room and they're going to be so pissed.
Howard said JD does a great ''hello'' on stage so maybe he should hire him. Howard said JD doesn't make a lot of money and all he has to do is go up on stage and say hello for 500 bucks. He said all of his accommodations will be taken care of.
JD said that he has done appearances where he had to take a greyhound bus to the appearance. He said he went to one gig and only 6 people showed up. He said all he made was bus fare to get back home. Howard said JD should take the 500 and bank it.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that her dad has a similar kind of rotation that his dad does. She said that he has 3 things he rotates through. She said that he doesn't keep tags on his boxes but he makes up a calendar and prints it out. Howard said they should introduce those two. He said he doesn't think his father has spoken to any other man in 50 years though.
The caller said that her mother thinks that she's loosened her father up. She said that she's not sure how that is possible. Howard said his mother thinks that she's loose and he had to tell her that she's not easy. Howard said she still thinks she is. Howard said if his father ever dies before his mother then he'll move this woman's father in with his mother. The caller said that would be perfect.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he loves it when they have his parents on. He said the last two callers ruined his thunder. Howard thanked him for the call and had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap UP Show preview. Jon ran down what he wanted to discuss on today's show. That led to them talking about Howard's father and the things he revealed today. Howard said it was too much. Robin said that's like the time Fred's mother talked about anal sex. Fred said he got over it but he's not sure Howard will get over this. Howard said he's still not over Fred's mom having anal. He said she said she liked it. Fred said he doesn't think she said that. Howard said he's not sure his parents didn't have anal. He said there's no way she wasn't into fisting.
Howard said he has to get his mother on the line to talk about the towel incident. He said he thought that she was so uptight. He said she told him that the guy was a pervert so he wants to know more about what went on. He said that he wishes he still had that picture. He said he would Tweet it if he did. Howard said he's thinking about his father shoving his hand down his mother's pants. He said it's open season on his mom. It's creepy. That led to Fred playing a clip from Fame where the creepy guy asked Coco to take her top off. He mixed in some of Howard's mom's audio clips in there too.
Howard said he wanted to know more details but Ray didn't remember much about it. She said that it was some kind of a schemata that he had her put on. Howard said he thought it was some kind of dress. Ray said she's not even sure why she did it. It was very out of character for her. Howard said she says she's street smart and this was very out of character. Ray said it was a friend of Ben's from work and nothing was going to happen. Howard asked if she thought he was a pervert. She said she heard that it was what he did when he took pictures but he certainly wasn't going to do anything to her.
Ray said that they had heard that he did these sexy pictures but they knew nothing would happen. Howard said it's so not like his mother to do things like that. Howard said he never thought that they did anything other than making out before they got married but Ben said they did everything but. Ray said that's right. Howard said he's traumatized right now. He said that he can't believe that she put out like that.
Ray asked what kind of conversation this is and what he's getting at. Howard said his dad told him what he did feeling her up and putting his hand down her pants. She said that this is not for his radio show. Howard said it absolutely is. Howard said Ben told him that he was checking to see where he was going to come out. Ray found that funny.
Howard said his mom thinks that Ellen was a virgin when she got married. Ray said that's not for her to talk about. Howard said he has tried to talk to her but she won't talk.
Howard asked if his dad was good with his hands. Ray said she had no complaints. Howard said she had a burning desire to go to bed with him. He asked if his dad was good with his hands. Ray said she didn't want to talk about this. She said he can discuss his own life and not her's. Howard said people want to hear about her. Howard said Fred's mother liked anal. He doesn't think that his mom was into it. Fred said she was laughing so maybe she is.
Howard said he wants to find that picture and Tweet it out. Ray said that was fine. Howard said he still can't believe what was going on with them. Ray said they enjoyed each other and they still enjoy each other. She said they have no complaints. Howard said he's going to have millions of his fans fantasizing about her when he Tweets out that picture.
Howard said he can't imagine his mom doing that stuff before marriage. He said ''shame on you...'' Howard spent a little more time talking to his mom about that. Ray said she saw her two Granddaughters last night and they're gorgeous girls. She said she's very proud of them. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard had Fred play some of the ''Hi mommy'' clips from that homeless announcer guy. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he's glad to hear him on the phone. He said he heard he was in a coma. Leslie said he was in a medically induced coma. He said his wife had to tell him all of this.
Leslie said he had just finished the CD he was working on. He said he's glad that's done. He said he has to figure out how to play the guitar with one foot now.
Howard asked what he has to do now. Leslie said he has to go for rehab and get a prosthetic. Howard told Leslie what he was saying about him yesterday. He said he would have loved it if he was in that Woodstock movie. Howard said he's glad that Leslie sounds so up after losing his leg. Leslie said that's because he's talking to him. Howard asked how he took the news. Leslie said his wife had to make the choice. He said he's having the phantom leg thing and he feels like his foot is falling off the bed. He said it's the strangest thing.
Howard said he loves Leslie so much and he appreciates him. He said he saw his legs and they weren't that great. He said he's just kidding around with him of course. Howard said he loves him so much. Robin said they're glad he's still there. Howard said this is tough news to take. Leslie said he's staring at his wife and it is tough news. Leslie said that it's his right leg that he lost. Howard asked him to send him his right shoe and he'll auction them off. Leslie said that he can have them all. Howard said he will display them there in the studio. He's not kidding. Robin said he will need them. Howard told Robin to be quiet. Howard said he'd like the leg too. he asked what they do with the leg. Leslie said he's not sure. He said it might be in the Gulf of Mississippi. Howard said that leg is worth a lot of money. He would take it and make a guitar out of it. Howard said the Hard Rock called and they want the leg.
Leslie said he was supposed to play there the other night and they've been great. He said they've been taking care of his wife since all of this went down.
Howard said Leslie means a lot to him and he's a wonderful guy. He said he's one of the most generous people too. Leslie said that the most generous guy is Slash. He said that he'd never met him before. He said the producer of this album asked if he could get him. He said his tour manager had Facebooked him. Leslie said he thought it was bullshit but it turned out that it worked out. Howard asked if Slash is as good a guitar player as him. Leslie said that Slash is better.
Leslie told him the story about Slash's tour manager contacting them and how they got in touch. He said they sent a song to him and Slash didn't know why he needed him. Leslie went through more of this story and told Howard how Slash showed up without an entourage or anything like that. He said the guy is really down to earth and a great guy. Howard asked if he still has that big hat. Leslie said he did and he's a great guy.
Howard told Leslie that he hopes this transition is easy for him. He said he wants him to come visit and bring the new album. He told him to keep his stories short when he comes in. Leslie told him to shut the fuck up. Leslie said he wants to promote Ocean Springs Hospital too. He said they didn't save his leg but they did a great job. He also told Fred he's one of the greatest guitar players and Howard is sitting right next to him.
Howard let Leslie go and talked about how great it is that he's in such good spirits. Howard said that he wants to ask him if he's had sex with his wife since the amputation. Howard said that the right thing for her to do would have been to get him to New York to have that leg removed. He may not have made it if they did that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it has to be tough for Howard thinking about this parents having sex. He said he has a hard enough time with his and they're 20 years younger.
Robin read about a woman who went to a portable toilet and saw eyes in the tank below. She told authorities about it and they found a man in the tank. Robin said the man came out covered in human waste and slipped away.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the world is full of shit and he loves being able to hear Howard's show 4 hours a day. Howard said it sounds like he hates the world other than the show. The guy said that Howard makes him want to get up in the morning. Howard said he appreciates the kind words.
Robin read about Clarence Clemons whose funeral is this week. Howard said he's glad that Leslie made it through this leg problem. He said he didn't want his summer ruined. Howard said it would have been great if they could have given Leslie one of Clarence's legs. Robin read more about the Clemons funeral and what was going on with that.
Robin read about Ryan Dunn's autopsy. they found he died of blunt force trauma and from the fire. Howard said that car was completely demolished. Howard said it looked like a piece of paper was left. Robin said that it also claimed the life of another guy, Zach Hartwell. Robin said he was driving at 130 miles per hour before the crash. Robin said the cops were saying that they had never seen a car destroyed like that. Robin said that Roger Ebert Tweeted something about that saying ''Friends don't let Jackasses Drink and Drive'' and some people found that to be too soon. Howard said that he's a great editor of stuff and he wasn't offended by it. He said he knows that people are going through a hard time and they were offended by it but he was one of the Jackass guys and he was so tanked up. Robin said they haven't found that he was drunk yet. She said they're waiting for the lab results of that. Robin said he was driving at a high speed but they don't know if he was legally drunk. Howard said he thought Roger apologized. Robin said she didn't think he had.
Robin read about how the Westboro Baptist Church is going to protest the funeral for Ryan Dunn. Robin said he hawked porn level filth to make profits. Howard said they're insane. Robin said this is the greatest place for them to go because some of the Jackass people will go after them. Howard said they seem to be watering down their message. He said they have usually stayed on point but this is the wrong thing to picket. Howard said they are despicable people.
Robin read a story about an Amish man who got arrested for sending explicit messages to a 12 year old. He arrived on a horse and buggy. Howard said he heard that the guy claimed that he thought she was 13 so it was okay. Robin said the guy thought he was going to have sex with the girl but he claims he had never done this before. Howard read the quote from the guy and he really doesn't know modern law. Robin wondered if they're allowed to use cell phones. Howard said he can't believe he convinced anyone to have sex while driving a horse and buggy.
Robin read a story about Arnold Schwarzenegger and what's going on with him and his marriage. Robin said that Maria is still talking to Arnold on a regular basis. That led to Fred doing his Arnold impression for a couple of minutes.
Robin read about a fashion designer who got into some trouble for some anti-Semitic rants he went on recently in France. Robin had the details of that story and said that he could face a fine of $30,000 and some time in jail as well.
Robin read about the gay marriage bill that could be passed today in the senate. Robin had some audio of Andrew Cuomo talking about that.
Robin read about Tracy Morgan going on his apology tour. Robin said that he's been going to a bunch of places talking about how wrong he was for what he said in his comedy act recently. Howard said it's a big turn around for Tracy. Robin had some audio of the guy who called him out on that too.
Robin read about the Casey Anthony trial and said that they think she made her own chloroform. Howard said she must have paid attention in chemistry class. Robin said she apparently looked it up online and made her own. Robin said that she may have wanted to use that on the child and go out and party while the child rested. Howard said that is not good parenting.
Howard said he saw that there were people fist fighting to get into the courtroom. Robin said they're saying she's the best thing to happen to court since OJ Simpson. Howard said she's a cute girl who likes to party so that's why she's getting so much notice.
Robin read about a woman who beat a child to death over a video game system argument. Robin said that she claims she just wanted to ''pop'' the child to teach him a lesson.
Robin read about another woman who allegedly killed her 6 week old baby by putting it in a microwave. Howard said that woman wins for the worst thing. Robin read about how this baby died from 4th degree burns. She said there haven't been that many cases like that in the United States.
Robin read about a woman who was found neck deep in mud in mangroves behind a shopping center after she went missing. Robin said people heard her cries for help and they were able to save her.
Robin said she's not sure what's going on with the American Medical Association. She said they're looking for better menu planning for prison inmates. They're trying to help them steer clear of chronic diseases in there. Robin wondered why we would care.
Robin read about how Jack in the Box restaurant are going to stop giving out toys to children in their meals. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:10am.
Jon said they also had to talk about Leslie West calling in just days after losing his leg. Gary said he's always had good spirit and he's always been feisty.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Scott DePace talking about how he thinks God created evolution. Gary said he doesn't get that. He said he figures there is no middle ground. Benjy said he thinks there can be someone who believes in both.
Scott came in so Jon asked him about his explanation. Scott said he doesn't know, no one does, but he thinks that there could be a god and he could have had something to do with evolution. Scott asked Gary if he believes in God. Gary said no. Jon said he believes that there could be a higher being but it's not necessarily ''god.'' Scott said maybe he's involved, maybe he's not, he doesn't know. Jason started to ask some questions so Scott said ''Here we go...'' and said that he doesn't want to be in there if Jason is in there. He said he told Jon that. Jon said he didn't invite Jason in there. Jason said Teddy did.
Scott said Jason is a piece of shit and he doesn't want to have a conversation with him. Gary told him to just hear what he has to say. Scott said he has shit he could be doing right now. Jason asked if that was golfing. Scott said he has work to do.
Jason said during the conversation Scott said he didn't believe that we came from single cell organisms. Scott said he doesn't believe in what they believe in. He said he believes that there could be a god and he created evolution.
Jason heard that Scott was on a muscle relaxer and he had to leave work early because he was so high. Scott said his back was bad and on Monday morning he couldn't move. Jason was making noises and goofing on him about that. Scott said they either get him out of there or he leaves. Jason wasn't leaving.
Jon told Scott to ignore him. Scott said he didn't want to ignore him. Scott said someone had something and he took half of that pill. He said it was Flexerol. He said it helped mildly and he was still in pain by 9:30 so he took off. Scott said he hurt his back putting on a sock. Jason laughed his ass off at that.
Scott said when you hurt your back it can have something to do with something stupid like that. He said he bent over and something snapped and he was in pain. Jason asked if he has ever broken his arm tying his shoe. Scott said he's a great comedy writer and he's so funny. Jason said that's what Howard said this morning.
Jon asked Scott about what Howard was saying about Bush going into Iraq. Scott said that it's crazy talk and there is no evidence that he lied about what they thought they knew about the weapons of mass destruction.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Scott sounds like an idiot when he defends Bush. The caller said he's in the education field and they're moving away from the way they teach things about evolution. He said they do talk about intelligent design and that may be why people don't believe in evolution.
Jason said that Scott is saying that there is evolution but it could have been started by Scott. Scott said there is evolution, just look at Gary. No one laughed or said a word for a few seconds. Jason said he's obviously not the funny one.
Benjy asked Scott if he believes in heaven and hell. Scott didn't want to get into it. Scott and Gary were going at each other. Gary took a shot from Scott and Scott was getting all angry at him. That ended up going back to Scott and Gary arguing over the taping of him sleeping. Scott said he didn't go back on his word. Scott said he gave him his word and Doug is the one who gave Howard the tape. Scott said there was a grey line there. Gary said his word is the grey line. Scott said it was Doug that made the decision. He said he didn't battle hard enough for that and that's it.
Scott said that he really doesn't like Jason because he's continually an asshole. Jason said he never thinks of Scott but Scott seems to be consumed with him. Jason said that he doesn't get it. Scott said that he's a nicer guy than Jason is. Jason said God put him there on earth to fuck with Scott.
Gary said he and Scott were in a good place but Scott gets so angry that it gets real when they joke around. He said that Scott gets so angry at him over a joke. Scott said he was joking about Gary and Gary got mad at him. Gary said what he said wasn't funny though. Scott said he takes that shit on the air every day. Why does he take such offense at his jokes. Scott asked what fucking show he's working on. Gary said he works on a show were he doesn't have to take shit from him.
Jon said Scott is trying to make a point that Gary takes a lot of shit from people but he gets more angry at him than anyone else. Gary said it gets to be more real when they joke around. He said that he started the day not being mad at Scott and he's still not mad at him.
Scott said that he's not sure why he's in there. He said that he jokes around and they get mad at him. Gary said it's hilarious when he reacts to Jason's comments though. Jon said that Jason is just getting under his skin and he's not blocking him out and just moving on. Scott wondered why he comes in there for no reason. Jon said he just wanted him to clarify what he said about evolution. Scott said he would come in if the fat fuck (Jason) wasn't in there. Will said Scott was saying he would yell into Jason's mic if he did come in. He said that's why he wanted him in there.
Gary said that Scott has a problem admitting he might be wrong from time to time. Scott said Gary is the same way. Gary said he's not like Scott is. Gary said Scott just can't be wrong. Scott would not say he could be wrong. He was still arguing about how Jon lied to him by letting Jason in there.
Jon said he heard what Scott said and he heard him say that he would talk over his microphone. He said he told Scott he'd see him down there and that's it. He said anyone is welcome to come on the show and he's not going to keep them out. Scott said Jon once said that he wanted him to come in every day so Jason wouldn't come on the show.
Jason said that the back of Scot's head gets as red as the front does. He said all of the bald turns the same color. Scott said he wishes he was 8 and he could just respond to Jason the way he wants to. Jason kept on him and said Scott really is obsessed with him. Scott said he doesn't even hear what he's saying. He just hears that fat mouth going ''bla, bla, bla...''
Scott said that this sets him back for a few hours until he get back to Jersey and relax. Jason and Scott kept going at it arguing and goofing on each other. Jon told Scott he's just playing right into Jason's game. Jason said Scott tried to stop them from getting paid by Howard TV because he wasn't happy with them goofing on him. Scott said it had nothing to do with that. He said they weren't doing something that they were supposed to do. Jason said Doug came to them and told them about that. Jon said they had to go to break after that. Scott said he's out of there. Jon said he wanted him to stay. Scott said he won't stay if Jason stays. Will told him Jason wins if he leaves. They went to break after that.
Jason said he wasn't popular in high school but he didn't get bullied. He said he never ran from a fight and he didn't get into that many. Gary said Scott just can't turn away. Jason said he acts like he's in there under duress too. He said he doesn't get it.
Jon said he wanted to move on. He brought up what Howard was saying about going to Richard's wedding. Gary said Howard seems like he's still on the fence and he should just make a decision. He said he shouldn't feel guilty over it and he should just make a decision.
Gary and Jason talked about that for a minute. Jason said that he thinks that Howard should just say he's going to go and he'll feel that weight off his back. Benjy said he thinks that Richard is going to perceive it as dissing him. He said that Howard doesn't want to be looked at like that.
Jason said that Howard said he wouldn't drive 2 and a half hours to Will's wedding. He said that was easy for Howard do say no to. Gary said he was at Will's wedding and people were thanking him for showing up. He was like the highest ranking guy to show up. Benjy is going to Richard's wedding so he might be the highest ranking guy there. Benjy said he's sorry he didn't go to Will and Jason's weddings.
Benjy said he's really sorry about the Weiner thing too. Gary said he and Mary were talking about that and they think he should just forget about it. They had to take another break after that.
Jon wondered what was going on with Ray at that guy's photography studio. Jason said that was a fascinating story because Ray said they knew he was known to be kind of pervy. Jon asked how long this is going to stay with Howard. Gary said that it should stick with him for a while.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they have ever caught their parents. Gary said he did when he was like 25 years old. He said it was a very disturbing moment. He said he opened their door and they were under the sheets and the room was filled with candles. He said that his mom shrieked when she saw him and he knew that they were up to something. Benjy asked Gary if he's kind of happy that they're getting pleasure from each other. Gary said he's wondering how far they are from that with their own kids. Gary said that they might be asked if they had sex before marriage. Jason said it's 2011 so of course there's sex before marriage.
Gary said they lock their door when they have sex. He said they're very quiet about it though. He said he's heard stories about what parents have done and he knew one guy whose parents would push the dresser in front of the door. Jason, Jon and Benjy had never walked into that with their parents. Shuli said that his mom once told him that the only reason they're still together is because they still have sex. They had to end the show a short time later.
Ralph brought in the outfit but Grillo was hesitating. Howard told Grillo to just put the outfit on. He didn't want to do it there in the studio. Howard told him to close up his boxer shorts and just do it. He said he looks better like that. He said he didn't look bad at all.
Howard told Grillo to go down and get the food like that. Grillo wasn't into it but Howard told him to just try it. Grillo said he wanted money. Howard said he's always looking for money. Howard said he had a turban and a diaper on. Grillo said it's not bad enough that he has to get his food. Now they dress him like this.
Howard said he's a college boy and he's teaching him a lesson. That lesson was ''life sucks.'' Howard said he's in for the movie if he runs around like that. Howard said he's hired. They went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard had Grillo come in with his food. Howard asked what happened when he went down there. Grillo said everyone was laughing. Howard said he has to get himself a snake in a basket next. Howard told him to just get into it. Grillo said that work pretty much ceased down in the deli. He said he went behind the counter and got the food when he got there. They let him do pretty much anything he wanted.
Howard told him he should be walking around with a bucket of water. The Gunga Din audio clip had the guy asking him for water. Fred played that clip a couple of times. Howard told him to practice bowing backwards out of the room too. Howard told him to try again after he failed to do it correctly.
Howard said he thought it would be fun to bring in some Jewish broadcasters. Howard said they had some Germans in there recently. He figured he'd let some others come in as well. Howard found out they were from Israel and they work for an armed forces type of radio there.
Howard spoke to the woman and the guy who came in and asked if they were from WYID. He got some laughs from Gilbert on that. Howard asked the broadcasters some questions and found that they didn't have much of an accent. Howard said he admires their bravery but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Howard said the world hates Jews so they will never be at peace. Howard said that Gilbert is Jewish and even he hates Jews. The broadcasters told Howard he should go and visit Israel. Howard said he wouldn't set foot over there. He said he doesn't need to be hated over there.
Howard said no one wants Jews on that desert over there. he said every Israeli he knows smokes 900 packs of cigarettes a day too. he said these two must do that. Howard said their format is ''music to chain smoke by.'' Robin figured they just played different sirens on their station. That led to Fred playing a siren sound clip.
Howard asked if the two were lovers. They said they do live in sin. Howard asked if they were both in the army. They were. Howard said they can get up off their knees now. The siren was just a sound effect. Howard asked about how they met and fell in love. They weren't saying much.
Howard said he could never live over there in Israel. They told him he should come and visit one day. Howard asked when the bombing stops so he can get over there. They just laughed.
Howard asked if they were there to learn about American broadcasting. That's what they said they were for. Howard asked who the number one DJ is over there. The guy said that it was probably him. He said he's in the top 5. Howard said he's very humble for someone in the top 5. The guy said he does a top 20 show. Howard asked if they have Jewish groups they play. They said no.
Howard joked around with the two broadcasters for a few minutes. He was asking questions and joking around with them before they could even answer.
Gary told Howard he had a guy on the phone who wanted to ask why they think they have a right to that land they're on. Howard took the call and the guy had a heavy accent that made Gilbert laugh. The caller was asking about why they think they should be over there and Gilbert asked him to take him through the Holland Tunnel as if he were talking to a Taxi driver.
Howard hung up on the caller and asked what they do for fun over there. HE asked if they load ammunition or clean their guns or something. He asked how many packs a day they smoke. They both said just one. Howard said they'll be up to 3 before they know it.
Howard asked the female broadcaster if she shaves her armpits. she said she does. The guy said that Howard is thinking of German women. He said they shave over in Israel. Howard asked if they shave down below. The guy said of course they do. He said they are not a third world country. Howard asked the woman if she shaves herself. She said she does. Howard said he's learning about their culture. Howard asked if he could shave her down if he were over there. Gilbert said he'd go there if she'd allow that.
Howard asked if they had any questions about broadcasting in America. He said he would answer anything they had. Gilbert was asking if he shaves his pubic hair. Howard said he does. The broadcasters said they got Howard's CD box set and played it over there in Israel. Howard asked if they can play stuff like that over there with the language. They said that it's in English so no one says anything about it.
Howard said they must be honored to be there in the studio with the top man in the profession. They said that's why they were there. Gilbert was asking questions as if he were one of them and asked about Joe Piscopo and Kimberly. He also asked about Jay Leno and if that's his real chin.
Howard asked if they ever do giveaways on their station. They said they do. They give away things like VCRs. Howard asked if they wear a yarmulke at home. The guy said they don't and he was saying that it's not like that over there. Howard asked if the guy ever cuts a bra in half and uses it as a yarmulke with a chin strap. The guy laughed. Howard said he thinks that they've run out of questions so he figured the interview was over. Howard wrapped up with the two of them and let them go. Howard was still goofing around and talking about how uptight they seemed to be. Robin said he was being a little rough on them.
Riley Martin Calls From Jail Again. 6/23/99. 7:05am
Alien abductee Riley Martin called in from jail once again today. He was arrested 23 days ago on drug charges and remains there awaiting a trial date. He called in a last week to explain what happened and to ask for help getting out of jail. Today he's gotten a lawyer and he's still looking for financial help. Riley is really angry that Howard won't help him even though the lawyer he got was a result of him doing the show last week. Riley just needs $1000 to get out on bail but Howard's not going to help him. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from people who said they'd help but they quickly turned on Riley and called him names. That pissed Riley off even more but he'd take it out on Howard for some reason. There were a couple of people who called in and said that they'd bail him out if they worked for them. The first person hung up when Riley agreed to it but the second guy may just work out. The guy said he'd keep his eye on Riley 24 hours a day if he puts up the money. Riley was fine with that though.
Richard's Favorite ''All You Can Drink'' Place. 06/23/09. 7:40am
Howard said Richard found this place that was an all you can eat and drink type of place. He said that Richard sat there all day drinking. Howard said Richard is getting really fat now too. Howard said he noticed yesterday that he had gotten heavy. Artie said he looks like Uncle Fester with the bald head.
Howard asked Richard about this place he found that he can eat all day. Richard said that it's not all you can eat. He said you order a meal for like 10 bucks and it's all you can drink. He said he sat there for six hours.
Richard said he's been going to this place for quite a few weekends lately. He said they actually finished all of their champagne so the place and to make a champagne run. Howard said Richard is going to run them out of business.
Richard said that they do have a limit but they know the bartender there. He said the limit is like an hour and they know the guy so they just hang out for like 6 hours.
Richard said he drinks ''manmosas'' which are Mimosas in a beer mug. Howard asked how much champagne he drank. Richard guessed it was like 5 or 6 bottles. He said it was cheap stuff though.
Howard said Richard is what he would call a shnurer. Richard said he's a good customer and a good businessman. Richard said he's drinking all he can for 10 bucks.
Howard said Richard is an alcoholic in his opinion. Howard said that if you pack your bags with alcohol when you go on a train trip then you're an alcoholic.
Howard asked Richard if he drinks every day of the week. Richard said he didn't have anything last night. He said an alcoholic is the kind of person whose life is controlled by alcohol. He said he's not like that.
Gary said Richard was removed from an airplane in a wheelchair once because he was too drunk to walk. Richard said that was just once.
Howard said that Richard seems to have given up on his weight. Richard said it's hard to keep that belly under control. He said he's been walking in the stairs at his apartment to stay in shape.
Howard said Richard's head was sweating really bad yesterday at the movie they saw. He said he told Richard that maybe he should shower because of the sweat. Richard said he was too tired to do that last night. Howard said he loves to shower even if he is tired.
Artie told Richard that the definition of an alcoholic is a guy who drinks and it drastically changes your personality. He said Richard clearly does that at least twice a week. He said he believes that Richard is an alcoholic.
Howard asked what the name of this place is. Richard said it's Lucky Mojo's in Long Island City. Richard said he lives in that area so he knows the place. Richard said he used to have to go to 9th Ave for an all you can eat breakfast but he thinks he was banned from that place.
A couple of callers said that Richard is an alcoholic because he binge drinks when he does drink. He may not drink every day but when he does drink, he binge drinks.
Howard said Richard's personality does drastically change so he might be an alcoholic. Artie said he used to drink with his friends and he once fell asleep inside one of those basketball games they have in bars. He said that's an alcoholic. He said pissing in plants, taking your shirt off at parties and yelling out is an alcoholic.
Richard said he's not really denying that. He said he walked out of that brunch and he was fine. Richard said that Howard drinks a lot on the weekend now too. Howard said that between the two of them they only drink one bottle of wine though.
Howard played some audio of Richard leaving a voice mail for Will Murray one time when he was drunk. Richard was out on the street taking a piss and describing it all to Will.
Richard said he went out on a booze cruise that night and threw chairs off the boat. Howard said that's the kind of behavior he's talking about. He shouldn't be throwing that stuff off of boats. Howard said Will must have loved those voice mails. Richard said that Will did seem to enjoy them.
Howard said Richard comes off kind of gay in that clip and he doesn't think he's ever said that he loves a hairless body when he's been drunk. Richard said he was trying to be goofy and funny. Howard said he got the goofy part but maybe not the funny part.
Howard thanked Richard for that. Richard said he was thinking about something the other day. He said that Brian Phalen has never gotten naked on the show in the 12 years he's been there. He said he thinks that would be funny. Richard said he mentioned it to Brian and he didn't seem like he wanted to do it. Howard asked Brian if he wanted to come in and get naked.
The guys weren't sure why Richard was pushing for a guy to get naked on the show. Brian came in and said that this guy (Richard) is fucked up. He said the night of the film festival Richard as chasing him around all night saying he wanted to fuck him. Richard said he thinks that Brian is cuddly and he'd be fun to hug. Brian said that Richard does hug him a lot.
Richard hugged Brian and told Howard he should try it. Howard wasn't interested. Gary said that Richard sent him an email the other day and he sent him a gay calendar picture of a guy that looked like Brian.
Richard said they have this guy on this MTV show called True Life and the guy is 500 pounds and gay and he has all kinds of guys flying in to meet him. He said that's where he got the picture from. Howard saw the picture that he was talking about and it did look a little bit like Brian. Brian said Richard is strange.
Howard asked Richard what he weighs. He said he's about 215. Brian said he's like 250-260. Howard said everyone there is getting big. Richard said it's tough working the hours they work. Artie said he's down to about 230.
Artie said that the schedule out on the road is tough because you eat like shit. He said he's been playing hoops and stuff and he's lost 65 pounds. Howard said Jason is pushing 300 now. He said that everyone there is a fat ass.
Jason came in and said that he's not 300 but he's close. Howard had him get on the scale to find out for sure. Jason weighed in at 289. Howard said someone told him he thought Jason was over 300.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he might be like Richard and maybe they should send Richard to a lab and find out if he's got liver problems and stuff.
Another caller said a few years ago he went to a psychiatrist who told him that there are many definitions of an alcoholic and it sounds like Richard is one. Richard said he might be an alcoholic. Howard said he's worried about Richard. He said he needs to pull himself together.
Robin was going off on Richard so he pointed out he was taking this from a woman who puts coffee up her butt hole.
Richard told Howard about how Sal has been smoking those fake cigarettes. He said that Sal has gone crazy with those things. Howard said he heard they're banning those things. Richard said they were telling Sal that they were dangerous and Sal just took a puff off the thing and said he'd have to check into it.
Howard told Richard that he can't have more than 2 drinks a day. Richard said he'll just save it up for the weekend. Howard told him to stick to just 2 and no more. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said he wouldn't have a problem with a black person helping him with this book but he's doing it himself so he doesn't. He said he didn't go out looking for a white editor though. Howard said this is not acceptable.
Robin said she has seen racism go across the board. Howard said you can't demand a black editor. Howard said if this is the game we all want to play then white people should start demanding white employees and white editors. Robin said that happened for many years. Robin said that was acceptable for years and only white people would work with white people. Robin said blacks weren't even allowed to write books.
Robin was upset that Howard wouldn't let her finish. He kept interrupting her. Robin said that when you want to reverse a long standing tradition maybe Oprah was trying to open the door for another black person where they're not well represented. Howard said he'd like to open the doors for a few white people then. He said if someone wants to call him a racist for saying this he'd like to know why Oprah isn't being called a racist.
Howard said he likes how people call him racist and not Oprah. He said he'd like to see a white guy come out and demand a white editor. He said he'd be branded a racist immediately.
Howard and Robin went back and forth arguing about Oprah for a few minutes. Robin said she loves it when white people get upset thinking that black people can't be racist. Howard said he just doesn't think it's right that Oprah was asking for a black editor. Howard said there is nobody out there saying Oprah is a racist. Robin said Howard is. Howard said black people yell and scream when a white person is racist. Howard wondered why there's even an argument there.
Howard said he doesn't want to hear from Jesse Jackson or anyone like that. He said he should be going after Oprah if he's going to come after any white man. Howard figured Robin was on her period based on the way she was arguing. Robin said she's not and she can prove it. Howard said he had to take a break but they continued to argue.
Howard said Oprah Winfrey is the biggest skeeve on the planet. He said she's very calculated and she's not the least bit embarrassed to ask for a black editor. He said the reason for that is that it's acceptable in the black community to be like that. Robin said it's only acceptable with a select few people like Oprah, Spike Lee and people like that. Robin said she's not like that herself.
Howard said Oprah has made a statement that's so disgusting and so wrong. Robin said she hopes Howard has something to say when a white person does this. Howard said he was not a fan of David Duke. He said the reason we don't see any criticism of this is because there would be an uproar. Howard said if he did this then he'd be called out on it. Robin said that you can say anything you want about a white man. She said there is a perception that the white man is free. Howard said he is not free. He said Oprah has the freedoms of this country like no one has. He said she should move to Africa and she can have all the black editors she wants there. He said she's a smelly, fat pig. Howard said he'd love to go on her show and ask why she thinks she can demand a black editor.
Howard said he had to take a break. Robin wanted to ask him a question. He told her to write it down and then went to break.
Howard and Gary were trying to figure out how to handle the code words and they were talking about doing them in invisible ink and things like that.
Howard said he needs his CIA-holes to get in touch with Gary when they hear something going on in their market. The caller said he got hung up on by Gary. He said Rich hung up on him when he told him he was trying to get to Gary. Howard wondered why Rich would do something like that. Gary said he's never heard Rich do anything like that. The CIA-hole said he just wanted to give Gary his address so he could send him the information he needed. Howard said he will fix this with the pass code.
The CIA-hole said that they played a bit that had a mistake in it. He didn't get that it was part of the bit. The CIA-hole said he had some other issues too. Gary said he's going to send out a letter to let all of the CIA-holes know what they're looking for. Howard said he doesn't want him running around telling everyone he's a CIA-hole either.
Gary told the CIA-hole that he should be looking for people messing with the order of their show. HE said sometimes they'll take pieces of the show and play them on other shows. He said that's not allowed. Howard said during the course of their show they may find that the station might have someone get on and comment on a bit or talk about what they've said. He said that's a no brainer. Howard said they should just play the show. He said they may take very long traffic and weather breaks and they might do shtick during the breaks. He said you tape the show and send it to them. Howard said if you hear things missing from the show you let them know.
Howard and Gary went over a bunch of other things that they should be listening for. Howard said if the show ends early or they cut out the plugs or something then the CIA-hole is to let them know.
Howard went off on some of the Program directors he deals with and went off on Tim Sabean for lying to him about something. Howard said he didn't even remember what it was.
Howard said he hates this long hair of his. He said it's in his mouth. Gary went over another thing that the CIA-holes should be looking for. HE said that sometimes they'll end a segment in the middle of a thought. Howard said you have to be paying attention. They need hard core fans.
Robin suggested that Gary bite down on the CIA-hole cards so they know they're genuine. Gary said he has a hologram in them. Howard liked the biting idea.
Howard let the CIA-hole go and said that this guy is good. He's going to be a little over zealous but he's going to be good. Howard said this is his own little militia that he's creating. He said that guy is a powerful man in his industry. Howard said he was agent 003. He had to go to break a short time later. Howard said they should be locking up their badges in a safe deposit box so they don't disappear. He said he needs them to be protected even if they die.
Howard said Nancy is full blooded Puerto Rican. Nancy and Howard talked about the new intern and how he was saying he was Puerto Rican. Nancy said she thought he was a black guy too.
Howard asked Nancy if she wanted to yell at this caller. Nancy said she didn't want to but she did have something to say. Howard put the caller on and let her yell a little more about how she thinks that you should stick to your own kind. Nancy tried to get a word in but the caller was rambling on and on. Howard told Nancy to tell her to shut up in her own language. They started arguing in Spanish a little bit. Howard was yelling too and saying the only Spanish that she knows.
Nancy said that she said something bad so Howard said Tom must be in the back freaking out not knowing what to hit the button on. Howard asked if Nancy thinks this woman is ignorant. Nancy said she does and she told Howard her husband is from Honduras. The caller just kept talking over everyone. She wouldn't let anyone talk. Nancy was telling this woman how happy she is being married to her man. The caller didn't believe it. Nancy said she's been married for 9 years and he's the best man and the best lover. The caller said that's what Whitney Houston says about Bobby Brown too.
Howard wanted to cut the caller off. Nancy said she wasn't able to talk. She said that she did say a bad word in Spanish. Howard said he hit the button so they should be okay. He let Nancy go after that. He said they used to have a Spanish station there in the building but they let them go. Howard said he's not sure what happened there.
Howard said he hopes that Larry doesn't steal anyone way from his show. HE said he wouldn't stand in Gary's way if he wanted to leave. Gary said he has been contacted by some people. Howard said they should call Larry King's show and recommend him for the show. Gary had the number so Howard said he'd make the call.
Howard said Gary is a married man and he's stable. He said that he has a hair cut that makes him look very gay. He said he looked like a Roman Emperor. Howard made the call to the Larry King Show. He wanted to leave a message for Larry. He got a guy on the line and asked if he could leave a message. Howard told the guy he wanted to submit the name of Gary Dell'Abate to take over for the producer that's leaving. Howard said Gary has been in the business for over 10 years and he has been in charge of many things there. Howard said Gary is every bit as qualified as Tammy was. The guy on the line said he would give them the message. Howard said he was being serious about this too. He said he wasn't just goofing around. The guy said that he would pass it along.
Howard goofed on Gary's hair cut some more after getting off the phone. Howard said the bangs come out of nowhere and it looks odd. Gary said the barber was a black guy from England and he was only there for 2 and a half weeks. He said he may have been an experiment. Gary said the guy put gel in his hair and it looked okay. He said he's going to try the gel tomorrow. Jackie said that every person that walks out of that barber shop probably looks exactly the same. Howard said he looked like Moe from the Three Stooges from Hell. He said the whole back of his head is flat and he looks like a retard. HE said a mongoloid has that kind of flat neck look.
Howard goofed on Gary's hair for a few more minutes. HE was cracking himself up with the jokes about how it looked. He said that Larry King really should hire him. Gary said he could produce his show very well. He said he would do a lot of research for the show and give Larry the information. Howard said he hopes he gets that job. Gary said he hasn't even applied for it. Howard said Gary hasn't worked as a producer for anyone but him. Gary said he did work for Roz Frank for a little while.
Howard said MTV had a failing show and they asked Gary for help. Gary suggested a phone line. Gary said they were under produced and he told them that too.
Howard asked Gary what he did on the channel 9 show. Gary said he was a segment producer. he told Howard about some of the segments he produced and Howard just laughed.
The Wack Pack Gang Bang. 6/23/00. 8:00am
Porn actress Alexandra Quinn and her friend Cleopatra came in to talk to Howard about having a gang bang with some of the wack pack members. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Alexandra before he brought in some of the wack pack. Howard found out that Alexandra started doing sexual favors when she was only 5. She gave oral to her neighbors at 5! She didn't know any better because of her age. By the time she was 12 she was having intercourse with an 18 year old. She said she grew up around a lot of guys and was a Tom-boy herself. She eventually got into porno at 15. When it was discovered that she was under age the movies were taken off the shelves and her AVN awards for Best Anal were taken away from her. She said she was ignored by the porn industry for a while after that. She also claims to have given oral to Tommy Lee when she was only 17 years old. She said he didn't know she was so young though.
Howard had some wack pack members waiting to come in. Hank the dwarf, Crackhead Bob, Joe Cancer, Gary the retard and High Pitch Erik were all there. Elephant Boy is no longer associating with the show so he wasn't there. Howard brought in Hank first. Hank was sloppy drunk already. He didn't even know what time he got up today. Howard spoke to Hank for a couple of minutes and asked him if he'd like to do this gang bang thing. He agreed to it pretty easily.
Up next was Joe Cancer. He was married at one time so he has had sex in his life and it's not that big of a deal for him. He said he'd like to have sex with the porn stars but doesn't want to do it on camera. He decided not to do it but said that he would stand by and watch.
Crackhead Bob also said he doesn't want to do it. He said that's just not something he'd do. He then revealed that he has a girlfriend that he met ''1-2-3 weeks ago'' at an ''fday fday deeting'' which translated into ''AA Meeting''. That's right, Crackhead Bob is in Alcoholics Anonymous. He has been seeing this woman for a couple of weeks now. Howard asked him if she's a white woman and if she has all of her limbs. Bob says she is and does. He also said he'll never bring her on the show. Everyone is curious to see what she looks like.
Next was Gary the Retard. He came in all happy and loud like he usually does. Howard had the girls show him what he might be getting. Gary said to them ''Come on baby, Show ME!'' 47 year old Gary said that he would love to have sex with these women. He's still a virgin at 47! Howard said he'd like to let him do it but it might cause some problems legally. He had to think about it for a while.
High Pitch Erik just had sex for the first time last week and he's looking forward to doing it again with Alexandra. He came in and said that he's in. Hank said that he'd rather have Gary the retard in the gang bang rather than Erik. Crackhead Bob said that's because Erik's a ''Daggot.''
Everyone was wondering where Beetlejuice was this morning. Howard said that he was missing in action and didn't come in today. B'juice called in a little later but his phone connection was so bad that Howard had to hang up on him.
After thinking about it for a while Howard had to tell Gary that they weren't going to allow him to participate in the gang bang. There are too many legal questions in their minds and they don't need the trouble so he's out. Gary was a little upset when he found out. Gary said it looked like he just found out that there was no Santa Claus. Stuttering John asked Gary if he knows there's no such thing as Santa. Gary said that he found that out when he was a little kid.
Alexandra said that when this video is available you can purchase it from WackPackVideo.com. Alexandra will be dancing at The Flesh Club in Los Angeles and at Crazy Horse in San Francisco sometime in the near future.
Motley Crue Comes In To Perform. 6/23/97. 9:20am
Motley Crue came in to perform their new single ''Afraid'' this morning. A couple of the members were supposed to bring their wives with them so Howard could drool all over them but they didn't show up. Pamela Lee and Donna D'Erico were the two wives that Howard was waiting to see but no such luck. He seemed a little bummed out that the two of them weren't there. He ended up asking a couple of questions about stories he's heard about the band. There was a story about Tommy Lee having a tattoo on his penis with his wife's name. That turns out to be false. One story about Nikki that Howard asked about turned out to be true. It was some kind of bet to see how many women Nikki could have sex with without taking a shower. He ended up not taking a shower for 30 days and slept with 17 different women! I can't imagine the stink coming off of that guy. He said that not one of the women complained either. That shows you what stardom does to women. The guys in the band are going to be having a listening party tonight in New York so they asked Howard if he wanted to introduce them. Howard has a bed time of about 8:00 and that's when they go on so Howard may show up. Who knows...
They played some audio of Henry Kissinger talking about Pat so Howard did his impression of Henry too. Howard did that for a short time. Robin had audio of President Clinton talking about Pat's death too.
Robin read more details about her death and Howard got back to doing his Nixon impression. Robin read a little more and Howard would joke about her doing the Nixon impression. Fred eventually started doing his impression too. Both Howard and Fred were taking turns goofing on Nixon. They were cracking each other up with some of their lines.
Robin read some news about Nancy Reagan falling and spraining some ligaments. That got Howard and Fred going even more about the Nixon stuff.
Janks Accused Of Lying And Forging! 6/23/97. 6:30am
Captain Janks' ex-roommate called in for the second time in the past couple of weeks. He's been saying that Janks owes him some money from when he lived with him. Janks denied the accusations the last time they were on the phone. Today the roommate called in to accuse him of other things like forging Howard's name when he signs books and stealing stuff. Janks gets very defensive when this guy says these things but some of them he doesn't deny. He just blurts out that the other guy is a pot dealer. Howard is going to have the two of them come in and have Janks take a lie detector test. Howard will be the Judge and Jury... Stay tuned for more!
Howard played some of the Arlo Guthrie song and said that's what Jackie was ripping off but Jackie turned it into a 12 minute long intro instead of a short intro.
Howard played more of Jackie's song and goofed on him some more. He and Fred were doing their impressions of Jackie singing that song. Howard played more of Arlo Guthrie's song too. It sounded very similar to Jackie's song.
Howard goofed on some of Jackie's other songs like ''Cold Gold'' and how he has a lot about beer. Howard was picking apart the songs and wondering why he sings about beer being good in one song and then puts it down in another. Fred played some of that song too but Howard put a stop to that.
Howard said he wanted to smoke some pot at a concert once and he asked Ralph if he had any. He didn't have any on him at the time. Howard said he wanted to do it there at the Nine Inch Nails concert. He said he was paranoid as it was anyway. Howard said he just wanted to get out of there. Just imagine if he was on pot. Howard said they do something there at the concert that makes you feel stoned. HE said maybe it's just the loud music. Howard goofed on Ralph for a short time too. He said that he bogarts the pot all for himself. Howard said everyone is real uptight with their pot. He said that it must be getting expensive. Jackie said that's not true with him. Howard said that's right but Ralph is very stingy with his.
Today's This Date in Howard History was over around 10:40am.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:05am.