MarksFriggin.com started logging the show in 1996 so there weren't any show rundowns from any years before that... until Howard got control of the K-Rock tapes in 2006 after moving to SIRIUS Satellite Radio. They started playing some of the older shows on Master Tape Theatre so I typed up some rundowns for those shows. Below you'll find the 1990 shows that I did manage to write up...
Howard started off the show talking about an article in the paper about Buster Douglas beating up Mike Tyson. He's looking for a lot of money to do a rematch. Robin said he's making all of the right moves by delaying that rematch too. Howard said he read that things got kind of hairy back stage at a press conference where Don King was at. He explained all of that to Robin and talked about how street fights are just as entertaining there in the city and it turns into more of a free for all than in an organized fight.
Howard asked Jackie to turn down the lights in the studio. He said he was a little annoyed this morning. He went to the doctor to have something checked out to make sure he didn't have cancer. He said he was out of commission because he had stitches in his back so he had to take it easy for a while. He said that it was kind of gooey back there and not healing up very nicely. He said it's been bothering him for a while now and last night it started feeling like it was bleeding or something.
Howard said he heard that he's going to end up with a big purple welt back there like Gary got when he had a similar operation. He said that he really didn't want that thing back there and now he has to go to a plastic surgeon to get it fixed.
Howard said that he will be taking his shirt off and he is in show business so he doesn't want that purple thing back there. He said it's pretty disgusting and vile. He won't even call his doctor about it anymore because he's so furious with him. He said that his doctor never explained what he was going to be doing to him either. He was thinking about having it burned off but the guy ended up taking it off without his permission.
Howard said that this purple thing is annoying him and feeling weird. He said it felt like it was bleeding underneath the skin last night. He warned people to stay away from doctors and just go to bed and rest if you feel like crap. He said that you don't have to go to the doctor every year for a check up either. He said that it's not necessary. He said that if you're going to die, you're going to die.
Howard said when his father used to go to the doctor for his physicals, he'd come home almost paralyzed. He said that they used to give him a proctology exam and he'd come home feeling like crap. It would take him 3 weeks to recover from that. Now he doesn't have those done and he's in fine shape. Howard said that you know if something is wrong with you and that's when you should go to the doctor. He said that it's all a scam and you don't have to go to the doctor all the time.
Howard suggested that people go to a plastic surgeon for operations like he had to remove that thing from his back. He said that the cost of this operation was $800 and he found that kind of ridiculous as well. He said that they asked him what kind of insurance he had when he went in there and now he wishes that they'd give him his money back for having screwed up the operation.
Howard said he wouldn't mind paying good money for something if they didn't screw it up. He said he looks like he has AIDS or something. He said he's lucky enough not to have zits and he has good hair so that's about all he has going for him. Now he has this weird looking thing on his back. He said it's like having a friend back there. He has to dress with certain clothes so he doesn't irritate that new friend back there.
Howard said he was looking at Gary's belly scar and figured his wouldn't look that bad. Then he realized that he was going to have something that looked even worse. Gary came in and said that his scar actually gets worse depending on the weather. It can get heavier and bigger depending on what it's like outside. He said that it's right on the middle of his stomach too.
Howard said it's like he's got an $800 barometer on his back. Gary said that his scar is kind of bulbous today because it's humid out.
Robin said that she finds this very unusual that a doctor would do something like that without making it clear to him that he was going to operate. Howard agreed. He said that now he's going to have to go to another doctor and have him put him under to fix this mess. Robin wanted to take a look at it but Howard said he was too embarrassed. He asked Dr. Norris to take a look but got creeped out by him when Fred said he'd be happy to.
Howard talked about the article and about Liz for a few minutes. Howard went to the phone and spoke to Joe Walsh's people who were on their way in to visit. Howard said that Rick is like Joe Walsh's Tonto. Rick was saying that Joe is going to be doing a radio show there at K-Rock tonight. They spent a couple of minutes talking before Howard let him go.
Robin said she heard some stuff about Joe's show being really good but she's not sure who told her that. It turned out to be Stuttering John. John came in a short time later and said it was him. Howard kicked him out but then realized that he wanted to talk to him about an interview he had done last night. They sent him over to the Trump press conference last night and he actually got in. He said he's amazed when he actually can get into something like that.
John said that he yelled at Donald and asked him why he doesn't return Howard Stern's calls. Howard said he actually yelled it out in a funny way. He played the clip a short time later. John said that he actually got the peace sign from Donald when he asked him the question. Trump didn't answer the question though, he just got in his car and closed the door.
John also got an interview with Jill Rappaport. Howard played that clip and John told him that she's really into him. He thinks that Howard could get her if he wanted to. In the clip John was asking Jill about Howard and if she's a fan. She said that she is and Howard should know that.
Howard got pissed when he heard the tape recorder that John was using. He said that it cuts out in the middle of interviews. That led to him having Scott the Engineer come in so he could yell at him. He went off on Scott for not giving john a good one. Scott said that the good ones are back in the shop. Howard said that maybe they should have two good ones and not one good one and one bad one. He said he doesn't understand how there can be a ''bad one'' in the mix.
Howard told Scott to bring him the bad one so he could make it disappear. Scott came back in a short time later. Howard said that it can't be worth more than a couple hundred bucks. Howard asked Scott if he could keep a secret and showed him what he was going to do with it. He threw it right in the garbage. He said that the station will have to look for it and go out and buy a new one. He said this is insanity that John has to keep messing with the microphone and tape it up all the time. He said that John is stuttering, the tape is stuttering, everyone is stuttering. Howard said he had to calm down and take a break after that.
Howard said he figured out the tape recorder thing. The Spanish station gets the good one so they always have it. He's not sure why they get it when he doesn't. He said that he took a look at the one he threw in the garbage and it's all taped up.
Howard said he asked the guys how they knew that they needed to push in the microphone jack when they're recording. Scott said John has to watch the meters on the recorder and if they stop moving, they know that they have to push it back in.
John said that Scott didn't want to be anywhere near him when he was asking the questions at the press conference. He apparently didn't want to be embarrassed. Scott came back in and said that he was there the whole time with John. John said that he wasn't though and he went off to have a cigarette. Howard goofed on Scott a little bit about that and then got back to the interview.
Howard played some more clips of John's interview with Jill Rappaport. John was asking her about Howard and about how old she is and things like that. Then they started to blow John off and her people were pushing him away.
Howard said that they were very condescending when they were talking to John there. They were telling him that he should know what it's like. Gary came in around then and told Howard that Papa John was there so they had to get to that. Robin was afraid that they weren't going to be able to get that done in an hour.
Howard had Gary bring in Papa John Phillips since he was there. He told Stuttering John to move so he could make some room for him. He had to ask Gary to bring in his plugs too so he could read those when he needed to. He got back to the Stuttering John clips and finished up that stuff before getting to Papa John. Stuttering John was asking Jill more about Howard as she was telling him she really had to get going.
Howard said that Stuttering John also got an interview with Dr. Ruth so he played that interview next. Dr. Ruth talked to John about the Trump divorce a little bit. She didn't have a lot to say to him but she did get a few laughs out of the questions he was asking.
When John asked Dr. Ruth about Howard, she said she had nothing to say to him about Howard. Howard said he really doesn't need her anyway.
Howard asked Papa John about this movie that's out about the Mamas and the Pappas. John said that it's actually very good and he enjoyed it. Howard let Stuttering John go and said that he's on his way out to California today.
Howard said that John is living in New York now so he figured he could set him up on a date. He asked him about his daughters and how he'd like to hang out with Chyna. He said that would be cool since she's so hot.
Robin got into her news and read a story about Donald Trump and his relationship with Marla Maples. She read through that story and gave Howard all of the details.
Howard talked to Papa John a little bit during the news. He'd ask him a question here and there while Robin was reading her news. She spent quite a bit of time on the Donald Trump story. She read through a bunch of other stories before Howard wrapped up and said he had to take another break. He was about to go to break but played a song parody about Mayor Marion Barry since Robin had brought it up during the news. He went to break a short time later.
Howard showed John his front teeth and told him that they're laminates. He said that they don't do anything to your tooth, they just slap a piece of something over it to make it look nicer. He said that Fred had it done and he didn't even notice it until Fred told him about it. He got it done himself and now they look nice and no one knows that they're laminates. Howard said he was amazed that Papa John's teeth looked so nice since he was a heavy drug user for a long time.
Howard talked about how Papa john had written the song Kokomo and performed it there on the show one time. He said that he's got a lot of hit songs under his belt and today he was there to find a date. Howard said that he's made quite a few dollars in his time.
Howard said that Papa John has had a few hot chicks in his life. He and Robin pointed out who some of them were and talked to John about them. Howard said that he dated Ursula Andres and some others. He asked about Grace Slick but John said he never had her. Howard threw out a bunch of names but John was denying most of them.
Howard went to the phones and tried to find some women who wanted to date John. He found a 22 year old on the line and said he was just telling John that he needed a 22 year old. Howard asked John if he'd be interested in this girl. Howard asked her a few questions and found out she looks kind of like Goldie Hawn or Meg Ryan. Howard put her on hold after finding out some of that stuff. He told John that he'd owe him if he set her up with him.
Gary came back in and told Howard that the girl just told him that she can't date John, she's got a boyfriend who she loves. Howard picked up on her again and asked her why she would call in. She told him that she just wanted to talk to Howard and she didn't know she was going to get through. Howard asked her about her boyfriend and told her that Papa John is a multi-millionaire and she should be dating him instead of her boyfriend. He hung up on her a short time later.
Howard took another call from a woman who was looking to date John. She claimed that she was 32 years old and had never been married. Howard told her to take a really hard look at herself and ask herself if she really thinks that she looks good enough for this date. She said that she used to look like Jodie Foster and she thinks that she still looks like her. Howard asked her about her body and when she said it was mediocre, he hung right up on her.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him that he's a dick and then hung up. He found another woman who sounded lovely to him. She said that she's 42 years old so Howard didn't have high hopes for this one. She was married at one point but she's divorced now. Howard figured that she was a real mess if she's 42 and divorced. She said that she's in good shape though. She said she was a B-cup and that she looks like Audrey Hepburn. Howard said that means she looks like a skinny bird. John said that he'd like her to play. Howard put her on hold a short time later.
Howard found another woman on the phone. She was 31 years old. He asked her a few questions and found out she liked John and grew up listening to his music. She said that she might be willing to do anything for him. She said that she hasn't been with other women in her 31 years. He asked her if she's good looking and she said she was pretty sure. She wasn't sure who she looked like though. It sounded like she had someone coaching her on the phone so Howard hung up on her too. He had to take a break a short time later.
Howard got back to the phones and tried to find more women to play dial-a-date. The next woman said that she doesn't think that John is God or anything like that after Howard asked her about that. He hung up on her and took another call. The next woman, a 28 year old, said that she likes John's music. She said she wasn't sure if she was going to sleep with him without getting to know him first. She said that the guys at work tell her that she looks like Tawny Kitaen. As soon as Howard heard that he told her she could play and put her on hold.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was listening to another radio station. Howard ended up hanging up on him. Howard found a 29 year old woman who wanted to play the game. He found out from her that she's had two guys at the same time before so he put her on hold and said she could play too.
Howard got back to the phones and found another woman who said she looks like Adrienne Barbeau. Howard said she's okay looking. Howard was having trouble hearing the woman so he complained about his phone system sucking. He asked her a few more questions and saved her to play the game too. Jackie thought that she wasn't going to look that good based on her description. He thought that she was going to look like a bowling ball.
Howard went to bachelorette number 1, Susan, and asked her some questions about her personal life and why she ended up getting divorced. She shared some of the details of what happened. She didn't want to say that he cheated on her but Howard figured that's what she was saying. He also asked her about what she does for a living. He asked her about her body and found out that she tries to stay in shape and she doesn't have any cellulite. He asked her if she's shaved down below or if her lap looks like Abe Lincoln or ZZ Top. She said that she loves ZZ Top. The woman lives in New Jersey so he figured she didn't make all that much money in the job she had. She said she does fine though. Howard asked Susan a bunch of sex questions and she gave him some details about that stuff. She said that she won't sleep with a man on a first date. He put her on hold a short time later. Howard told John that he wouldn't go near that one. He thinks she's trouble from the start.
At this point there was a break because of some problems with the tape. Sir Harden Thicke came on and said that they lost 4 minutes of that segment. He read some notes about that day's show and said that contestant number 2 was Nancy and gave some details about her. Then they got back to the tape that hadn't been destroyed.
Howard was talking to bachelorette number 3 when they got back to the tape. Howard was asking the woman about her looks and if she's very feminine even thought she's a body builder. She assured him that she was. He went through some other questions about her looks and asked her some questions about sex and things like that. She told some stories about the men she's dated and how she had been with another woman at one time. They went through that story and Howard told John that he's trying to get him some action here and asked him not to ask the questions. Number 3 told Howard about the lesbian experience she had and gave him the details on that.
Howard said that it was time for Papa John to make his decision. He said that they had another guest coming in so he told Gary to bring them in. It turns out to be Steven Tyler and Joe Perry from Aerosmith. Howard figured that Papa John would like to meet them. John said he would since he didn't know them.
Steven and Joe came in a few seconds later so Howard spent a short time talking to them. Howard said he didn't know that Joe was coming in with Steven this morning. He said that they're sounding better than ever these days. The guys were talking to John about the drug thing and said that they're doing things the same way he did them back in the day.
Howard said that John and Steven had their share of women in their lives. He told them about the women that John has had and compared them to the women that they had. He then told Steven and Joe about the women that John had to choose from. When he mentioned the 42 year old, Steven gave a sigh as if that was the worst thing ever. Howard picked up on that woman and she was telling the guys from Aerosmith that she loves their new album ''Pump'' and she loves ''Love in an Elevator.'' Howard said that she was a little pushy. He put her back on hold and said that he didn't like the second woman. He told the guys about her and then told them about the third woman, Carol, who was having sex with another girl when she was only 15.
Howard asked Joe and Steven what they'd pick if they had to. They hadn't heard the calls so they didn't know. John said that he was leaning toward number 1 or 2. Robin wondered about number 3. John said that he was thinking about her too but she was a little short for him. Howard tried to give him some advice about who to pick.
They got sidetracked and ended up talking to Steven and Joe about their drug problems in the past. They had to go to rehab to clean up and they said that they were lucky enough to have people who cared about them to help them out. Howard said that they were making him upset when he heard that stuff.
Howard got them back on track and asked John who he was going to pick. John said he was going to go with number 2. Howard got that woman back on the line and Gary told him that the other two will be getting a copy of a book as a prize for playing along. Howard said that they'd call this woman back after the date and ask her if she has sex with him. She said that she'd let them know. He wanted her to say something to John to let him know what she was going to do when she met him but she wasn't playing along. Howard told John that the date was probably going to be a disaster. He went to break a short time later.
Howard got back into the show a short time later and asked Joe and Steven about their song writing. Steven said that Joe can just sit down and play guitar and he can answer him with lyrics. It's like he's talking to him with the guitar.
Robin said that at one point in her life she was asked who she really wanted to talk to. She said that she wanted to meet these guys but she was afraid because they were so scary to her. She said that they had such an image that she was afraid of them. Howard said that if he was hanging out with them, he'd have no idea what to say to them.
Howard asked the guys what it's like to hang out with someone like Keith Richards. He figured that must be pretty wild. Steven said that they don't get to hang out with him as much as they used to. Steven said that now that he doesn't use, he doesn't really hang with Keith.
Howard told the guys that Sting was a big fan of theirs and invited them to hang out back stage at a show he was doing. They went to the show but didn't stick around back stage too long because he figured that Sting didn't really want them there. He said that even Robin wasn't able to talk to Sting and she can talk to just about everyone. He said Sting had him sign his name to his wall in the dressing room and that was kind of cool. He said that he had to put it at the top of the wall though.
Steven and Joe said that they were going to be on Saturday Night Live this week so that's why they were in town. they're going to do one of the Wayne's World skits on this week's show. They were also going to be performing some songs of course.
Steven said a couple of hello's to his friends that were listening this morning. He also told some limericks and cracked himself up. Howard asked the guys to play some stuff for them but they weren't sure if they could because it was so early.
Howard asked Fred if they had a guitar for them to play. Fred said it might be out of tune but they did have one. Howard ended up talking to the guys for a few more minutes before he got his drum machine set up. Then Steven started playing harmonica. Howard got on the drums and played along with the guys as they performed ''Hangman Jury'' in the studio.
Howard said that they were really great after they performed the song. He said he wished that he could play drums though. He told the guys that his piano teacher actually committed suicide after trying to teach him how to play. He wasn't kidding either.
Howard asked Steven and Joe what they do in their spare time when they're not working. Steven said that they've just been relaxing for a while since they got off tour. Howard said that they look like they're always in shape. That led to him talking about his own looks and how bad he thinks they are. He said that he has a big nose but it doesn't look like Stevens' big nose. That led to Steven singing a song about Howard getting a nose job. He made it up on the fly as Howard was playing some drums. He told the guys that they really do look good and it's like they keep getting better looking.
Howard asked the guys what they do to keep in shape. Steven said that he runs on the treadmill. Howard asked what they eat and Steven said that they eat poon tang so Howard had to ask them to watch it with that, he's been in trouble with the government lately.
The guys talked about eating banana and stuff like that. Howard ended up asking Steven to perform ''Angel'' for him. They broke into the song after a little coaxing. Howard had to ask Joe to play guitar after Steven had already started singing. They performed the song but Steven complained about his morning voice.
Howard said that it's no wonder that they're on top. He asked them how they came up with that song. Steven told Howard about how he went out and asked some other people to help him out with that one. He said that he found some good guys who helped him out.
Howard said he was getting the hi-sign from Gary to get them out of there but he wanted to talk to them about some other stuff. He found out that the hot chick in their music video for ''Love in an Elevator'' was Joe's wife. He told Howard that he picked her out of a modeling magazine and ended up meeting her and falling in love with her.
Howard wrapped up with the guys a short time later and told them how great he thinks they are. He said that he's looking forward to seeing them on Saturday Night Live with Tom Hanks. He also asked Robin if she wanted to show them her boobs before they left. She said that she was too afraid to even shake their hands.
Howard also wrapped up with Papa John. He said goodbye to him and ended the show a short time later, around 9:15am (Master Tape Theatre time).
Howard started off the show talking about the bachelor party they had coming up today for Stephen Baldwin. He said they have a camera there to get the look of disgust on Richard Belzer's face. Robin said she wants to get her news done early so she can leave and not have to see the party there. Howard told her she won't want to miss this party. Howard said that Stuttering John is sick today but he came in for the bachelor party.
Howard asked Gary about the women that were supposed to be there today. They heard that they weren't going to show up. Howard asked John to come in and get him some warm water for his voice. John came in and then Howard talked about how he hates microwaved water. He said it's just not the same.
Howard said that he had to do a photo shoot for Channel 9 the other day and the pictures didn't come out that well so he has to do another one. He said that some of them came out okay but most didn't. He said that his hair was all frizzy and the hair stylist gave him a bouffant that didn't work so he tried to flatten it out a little bit and it made more of a mess.
Howard had Stephen Baldwin on the phone so he talked to him about the bachelor party. Steve said that he has friends that are so nuts that they'd eat the corn out of Sam Kinison's stool. He said he's got like 6 friends coming with him down there. He mentioned some of the guys he had coming with him and none of them were his brothers. He said that his brothers aren't coming and he didn't even want to talk about them. Howard said that one of his brothers is represented by his agent. That was Billy but Stephen didn't have much to say about that.
Howard spent a minute talking about Stephen and his fiancé. He wanted to see a picture of her when he came in so he asked him to bring one along with him. He was already off the phone so he hoped that he was listening.
Howard said he put in 7 years of begging with one girl and all he ever got was a kiss. He said that he went cross country with the girl one year and they had to take care of 40 high school kids who were getting laid. Howard and the chick never did anything though.
Howard said one of the girls dragged him off into the woods and told him she liked him but he couldn't bring himself to do anything with her. She was only 16 and he was about 19 at the time. He said that would have been illegal and he didn't want to get into trouble.
Howard said he went on this cross country trip and he was looking pretty good that summer. He had long hair and his weight was under control. He said he was trying to pick up this girl that he liked but she just wasn't going for it. He said one night they were sleeping in these corn bins out in Kansas and he was staying with the chick and invited her into his sleeping bag. He nagged her for an hour until she agreed to do it. He went over and tried to get it on with her but the 3 hours of begging didn't work. He eventually got a French kiss from her but that was it.
Howard said that he wasn't able to sleep since he was wondering if anything could happen in that sleeping bag. He said that he must be pretty repulsive if she wouldn't do anything with him. He said that she must have kissed him just to get him to go away. He said that she turned him down but then she'd go out with losers.
The guys talked about how bartenders are responsible for drunks these days. Howard said they make some ridiculous laws like that and that's what Tom was saying that they'd have to be worried about.
Howard moved on to talk about this Letterman taping that Gary went to. He said Gary told him about this Bill Wendell guy who opens up the show and says the same thing every single time he does the opening stuff. Gary also talked about what goes on during the breaks and how crazy things get for that short period of time. They get him new coffee, his guys come over to talk to him. They also have to clean up between the segments and stuff like that.
Gary also said that their old intern Greg is now in charge of the glass breaking sound effect over there. Howard said when they were over at NBC they had to have an engineer push a button for the sound effects so they'd have to tap on the glass to let the guy know when to do it. Howard said he had to go to break after that and before they get into the news and stuff.
Howard said that Robin was finding Mark much more attractive now that she had seen that big penis. Howard went on to talk about taking Mark out shopping for a suit. He asked Robin to get into her news so they could get that out of the way.
Robin read a story about some speech that was interrupted by some AIDS activists. That led to the guys talking about how they're trying to find a cure for this thing and one guy had a cancer treatment done on him and it seemed to have cleared up his AIDS virus infection.
Robin read a story about the kind of money the average worker is making these days. She and the guys spent some time talking about that and how Tom not giving Jackie a raise is dragging that average down. Howard said Stuttering John is also dragging that average down since he gets paid nothing to work there.
Robin read a story about a fire at one of Donald Trump's homes. Sam started to get a little sidetracked so Howard had to bring him back into line so the fans wouldn't be calling in talking about him not being able to focus.
Robin read some more stories and had one about a guy who ended up getting hit by a car when he went out into the street to do some push-ups for a crowd of people. Howard asked if Chernoff could do push-ups when he heard that.
Howard said he wanted to talk about something that went on with Sam. He got a call from Sam yesterday and whenever he calls, he always feels like he's under trial or something. He said he got a message from Sam asking him to call. He called him back at his hotel room and Sam went off on him for bad mouthing him on the air. He didn't hear anything himself, he just heard from some people that he was bad mouthing him.
Sam said that what freaks Malika out is when Howard talks to Jessica Hahn, so that's what it was all about. Howard said he put Sam on hold but then ended up hanging up on him. Sam called back and told him that he had cleared things up and found out that he really wasn't bad mouthing him.
Howard said Sam was also talking about this Elton John thing that went on. They shot a show together but Sam was left out of the shot when they taped it. They cut to some obscure guy instead of to Sam who was on this ABC special. Sam said that they did that deliberately too.
Howard had some tape of Sam talking about some stuff on Entertainment Tonight so he played those. Sam was talking about how he was sympathetic to the cure of AIDS and he sounded kind of like Jackie giving his apology to his wife about the Jessica Hahn bathtub incident. They mixed the two tapes together and goofed on Sam a little bit.
Howard told Sam he did a good job on this award show thing he did. They talked about that for a short time. Sam talked about how his guitar was unplugged when he was jamming on stage. He said they didn't tell him that he was unplugged and he thought that there was something wrong with the plug. He said he felt like a jackass trying to play and when he was done he threw the guitar at the manager who made him look like a jerk live on air. He said he came in to save their show and that's the way they treat him. All he wanted to do was play with Eric Clapton and they ruined that for him when they had him unplugged.
Sam said he went to the China Club after that and got to jam with some other people. He said he had a good time with Ritchie Sambora, Sebastian Bach and a bunch of other guys. He said he was more upset about the Eric Clapton thing than he was about the Elton John thing. He started drinking after that to calm himself down. He said he'll turn himself in when he goes to his AA meetings.
Sam told Howard he didn't do any drugs so he's fine there. He said that he used to do a lot in the past but he's done with the coke now. Howard told Sam that there's not going to be any drinking today at the bachelor party. Sam said that he's not going to do drugs ever again. He thinks that pot should be legalized and he may smoke that stuff but he won't do the hard core drugs.
Howard said Sam called him and asked if he could bring a camera crew in with him today. Howard said he had to turn that down. Gary came in and said that the girls and the guys were all ready to get going. Howard had to take a break before they did that.
Howard eventually moved on to the bachelor party and told Gary to bring the guys in. There was a lot of hooting and hollering going on as they were coming in. Stephen Baldwin and his friends were there so Howard spoke to Stephen for a short time. He checked out a picture of his new wife and found out how he met her on a bus.
Stephen said that his wife's name is Kennya. He said that he's not doing a pre-nup with her. Howard seemed to think that was a little crazy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he knows Stephen's fiancé and she's really wild. Stephen's friend defended him and told him he was going to be sleeping with the fishes. The guy claimed to be a stripper who danced for his fiancé. Stephen said that the guy had gotten him. Howard told Stephen that this just means that he can get down with the girls that are going to be at this party. The stripper caller said that they had a midget at the bachelorette party. Stephen said he heard about that guy. He wondered if he was well hung. The stripper guy didn't have an answer for that.
The guys asked the stripper about what went on at the bachelorette party and found out he was in a cowboy outfit and stripped down for the girls. He said that Stephen's girl was rubbing all over him as well as one of the other girls. Stephen asked him to leave his number in case he needs to call him to get a sworn deposition from him. The guy said that Kennya was kissing him and stuff and may have had her mouth open slightly. He said that she slipped him a little tongue. He said that some of the girls were even copping a feel.
Howard got rid of the caller and said he wanted to get the girls in there. Gary brought the girls down and said that he only had three of them. Howard said he thought they were going to audition for them. He wanted Gary to bring them out and have them audition in the window for the studio. Howard said that they only had three girls there and they looked like The Supreme's. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard did some more of his Carnac impression and then got back to the party. He said they were going to have the girls audition for them outside the studio in front of the window they have there. They tried to set Stephen up so he could see the girls as they were auditioning outside. Gary then brought the girls on one at a time to that window.
The first girl, Toni Chase, was asking why she couldn't just come in. Howard told her that they have to audition everyone because they want to know what she's going to do. The guys thought she looked a little bit like Valerie Bertinelli. Howard asked to see her top so she said she could just tease them a little. She pulled down her bra and Howard told her she was in. Then she mooned them. Howard told the guys to send the rest home. He had her come in right after that.
Howard said the next girl was a black chick who was about 6 feet tall. Gary told him that they had Kennya on the phone too. Howard picked up on her and she asked Stephen what he was doing. She said that the guy who called in earlier was a hoax. She said that she didn't do anything with that guy. As she was talking about that the chick in the studio started jumping up and down all over Stephen.
Kennya said she was just calling in to say she loves Stephen so Howard hung up on her. Howard had to ask Sam to stay with him there. He talked to the next girl, Elizabeth, and asked her what she does. She's a topless dancer from Texas. She had a present for Steve and said it was her bra. Howard wanted to get some of the girls hypnotized by Dr. King who was there. He tried to get his attention but Gary didn't have headphones on him so he couldn't hear what was going on. Howard eventually got his attention and told Dr. King what he wanted to do.
Howard heard that more girls had shown up so he had Gary bring them in. He met a 25 year old who said that she was a nude talk show host. She took her bra off and showed the guys what she had. She covered up within a few seconds though. Sam said that she didn't look like she had any implants.
Howard met the next girl who was at the window. Her name was Wendy. She was 24 years old and said she was a professional dancer. Gary said that he had some other girls there and brought up Tracy who took her top off within a few seconds of meeting the guys. Sam said that all of the girls looked to be natural so far. He said there were no implants yet.
Gary said that the first girl was done being hypnotized. Howard wanted to get all of the girls hypnotized and couldn't wait for that. Robin said she heard that Stephen was out in the hall telling his fiancé to calm down. He claimed that he told her that she was going to be in big trouble when he got home but that's not what Robin heard. Howard told him he shouldn't be explaining himself to his wife. He should tell her to shut up and leave him alone. Sam said he should be telling her to shut her hole.
Howard had a girl on his lap and said he was having a good time while everyone else was just gay. Howard said that Steve had his hand in Sam's lap. Howard heard that this one girl, Elizabeth, wanted to start a strip club and wanted money from the government to start it. Howard talked to hear about that and then had one of the girls give Stephen a hug. Howard asked him how that felt. Stephen had one of his buddies tell him he was looking good and then he said that he was ''feelin' goooood.''
Howard said that it was time for the girls to get naked. one of the girls asked if he was going to get naked first. Howard said that had been done before, but it won't be happening this time. He went around the room and asked all of the girls if they were ready to go. They played some music and then some of the girls started to dance. Stephen had his head buried in one of the girl's chests. He said that he was going to let it happen to him too. He said he loved it after the girl gave him a bronsky.
Howard said that one of the girls was down to a g-string and told her to keep going. Some of the girls weren't doing much of anything so he tried to get them going. Then Steve's friends started taking their clothes off. Howard said that Elizabeth's top came off and the guys were taking their clothes off too. Howard said he doesn't think that Stephen should be getting married after seeing this.
One of the girls said she wanted to say hi to her boyfriend but that didn't go over very well. Another girl still had her top on so Robin pointed that out. She had her top off a short time later. Howard had to go to break in the middle of the party. He said he wanted to partake in some of the party and then he'd come back from break.
Howard had Shelly the Typist come in after that. She was ready to take her shirt off. Howard said he thought she was going to take more than that off. She asked the other girls if they were going to do it too. Howard had all of the girls take their tops off with her.
Howard moved on to Dr. King and asked him which girls they could hypnotize. Dr. King put on his headphones and tried to get everyone's attention. Sam was the one who wasn't paying much attention so he said he'd try. Dr. king then told Howard that this one little girl against the wall was one who he could hypnotize. She hadn't taken any of her clothes off yet. Her name was Tracy. Dr. King tried to work his magic on her and put her to sleep for a few seconds and then told her what he was going to have her do. When she woke up she was doing just what Dr. King said she would.
Next up was Tracy. Dr. King put her to sleep and Howard told him to have her go nuts when she saw someone rubbing their nose. Dr. King used Howard's nose as the trigger for her. He told her that she was going to get so excited that she was going to orgasm when she saw him rubbing his nose. He also told her that she was going to get turned on to the guy in the red hat, Stephen, but it was Howard who was turning her on. They had her come out of it after that and she did her thing as Howard was rubbing his nose. She sounded like she was really getting off. Dr. King put her back to sleep again a short time later. She was trying to pull down Stephen's pants at one point. Steve said that his pants were soaking wet over there.
Dr. King worked his magic on that chick again and had her thinking that she had been with Stephen the night before. She told Howard the story about being with him and doing him early this morning. She said it was late last night or early this morning that they had done it. She said that she had met him on her way there and they went to a hotel across the street to do it. She said she didn't know that he was getting married though. They had Stephen spanking her and Howard had to put a stop to that. The girl was getting really worked up over the whole thing. He had to take another break after that.
Howard said he predicts that Stephen's marriage will last about 3 months. He figured it wouldn't survive the tension. Stephen said that he's talked to his fiancé about it and she's fine with it. Howard was trying to finish a live commercial but there was a lot going on in the studio. Dr. King was still doing his hypnosis stuff with the girls.
Howard said that Richard Belzer was going to be coming in soon so he wanted Dr. King to do something with the girls to mess with Belz. Dr. King put Tracy to sleep and told her she was going to be speaking fluent Chinese when she woke up and she was going to be attracted to Belzer when she saw him. He told her that Belzer was going to have an amazing aura around him that she was going to be attracted to.
Howard had Belzer come into the studio a short time later. He introduced him to Tracy and he asked her if she was air sick or something. She came out of her hypnosis and gave him an ''Ah-so'' and then rambled out some stuff that kind of sounded Chinese. She then went over to Belzer and started speaking her own version of Chinese. She didn't have much of a vocabulary though.
The guys messed around with Tracy for a little while and then Dr. King put her back under by yelling out ''Tracy sleep!'' Belzer wondered if she was a dog or something. Howard said he thought that Belzer was going to ruin the party but he was actually having some fun. Howard had Dr. King tell Tracy to get turned on when she hears Belzer saying ''Babe.'' Dr. King did that and woke her up a short time later.
Belzer did his ''babe'' thing and tried turning Tracy on by repeating the word over and over again. Howard thanked Dr. King for coming in and gave him some plugs. He had to go to break again after that.
Howard said that Belzer's pants were soaking wet. Belzer said they weren't wet, they were moist. Howard talked to Belzer and to Sam about the girls that they had in there. Howard said that Belzer was the life of the party today. He thought he wasn't going to work out but he actually had a good time in there.
Howard asked the girls if they wanted to dance for Steve one last time before he goes off to get married. He said that they could do that and then they'd end the show. Howard said that the guys were all checking out the girls like they were checking for cancer.
Stephen thanked Howard and everyone for what they did for him. He sounded very happy about the whole party. Howard wondered why there was only one girl with her top off at that point. Robin said they were waiting for the dance off. Sam was doing a breast exam and still doing comedy so Howard pointed that out. He said that Sam was doing stuff right there, like he was in the back seat of a car, and it was stuff he wouldn't even do in the back seat of a car. Toni was enjoying whatever it was that Sam was doing in there.
One of the girls wanted to kiss Robin but Robin wasn't interested and wanted to get out of there. She said she'd see them next week. Gary played some music after that and had the girls dance their final dance for Stephen. Howard told the girls to do their thing for Stephen. They did their thing and Howard ended the show around 9:30am (Master Tape Theatre time).
Howard started the show talking about all of the junk they had to get to. He mentioned that they had Robert Benjamin's wife there at the station. Robin said that people probably have no idea who she is. Howard said she's the wife of someone who works there. Howard said he was checking her out and she looks good pregnant.
Howard said Gary went out to Fire Island this weekend and he got stopped by the cops. He was on his inline skates and they dragged him into the station with the skates on. Gary said they didn't tell him why they were bringing him in. Howard said there isn't that much crime on Fire Island. Gary said one guy got a ticket for singing ''Happy Birthday'' too loud.
Howard said Gary got in trouble for roller skating. He said the cop dragged him down to the station because of that. Howard said it can be intimidating to have that happen. Gary said the cop gave him the rule book and made him read it out loud. He said they can screw with everyone there. Howard said he would have refused to read it out loud. He isn't there to be humiliated. He said he'd tell them to just give him the ticket and let him go.
Howard said Gary is 29 years old and the guy must have thought he was a lot younger. Gary said he may have looked younger than that to the cop. He described what he was wearing and it sounded pretty much like a billboard to Howard.
Gary said that one cop saw him skating and the other cop said he'd take care of him. Howard said the reason they have jobs is because all of the Manhattan people go there for the weekends. He said that Gary wasn't there to be humiliated and the cops had no right to do that to him.
Gary said he had to read like one paragraph out of the rule book. He said it was about skate boards and roller skates. Howard said he didn't deserve that. He said it's an outrage that he did.
Gary said the cop asked him what he thought they could do to rectify the situation. Gary said that he would go home, take the skates off and never skate again. The cop said he was still in violation. Gary said he'd take them off and walk home. The cop said ''Hmm, now you're thinking.'' Gary said he thinks the cop was probably around 40 years old. Howard talked about how wrong that was.
Gary said after that the cop asked where he was from. He said he was from Manhattan and the cop said ''Oh, big surprise, someone from Manhattan on Fire Island.'' Howard said he'd like to know who the guy is so he could humiliate him. Gary didn't give out the guy's name. Howard said that cop was just being a dick.
Gary said he told the cop he guesses he's not giving him a ticket because hew as skating in front of the police station not knowing it was illegal. The cop told him that most people wouldn't skate in front of the police station wearing something that screams out ''Hey! Look at me!''
Howard said the cop should have just given him a warning and let him go. He said he could have given him a ticket if he had seen him doing it again.
Howard told Gary he has to clear his throat. He said he needs to drink some warm water. He said he really needs to do that when he has the phlegm like that.
Howard said the cop thing was totally retarded. He said there's no reason for what the guy did. He said the guy as obviously thinking only about himself. Howard said the guy probably goes home and tells all of his friends that he had a guy reading the rules to him in the police station.
Howard and Gary talked about how people get to Fire Island and what a pain in the ass it seems to be. Gary said that there are people who drag all kinds of stuff out there on the ferry and they move into their homes out there. Howard said he heard that people abandon their dogs and cats out there after the summer. He said that's pretty heartless to do that.
Robin said that she saw a guy with a wet dog looking like he didn't want to put the thing in his car. She said that he was just standing there talking to it next to the car.
Gary said there are a bunch of dogs out there that get tied up at the police station. He said if you leave your dog unattended that's where they end up. Then you have to go there to claim the dog. Howard said the whole thing that Gary had to go through was ridiculous.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him to call the cop and talk to him on the air. Howard said the cops don't usually go on the air with you.
Howard said he went to see Dick Tracy and that was pretty good. He said that there were a few parts they could have skipped over though. He and Robin spent a minute talking about that. They talked about some of the people in the movie and how the audience would whisper when they'd recognize someone. Howard said he was telling his wife who the stars were too though. Howard said the theater was pretty packed and he thinks it'll make money. He said it's better than most of the junk that's out.
Howard said he got a fax from their program director, Ed, in Washington DC. He said it was kind of hard to read though. He said his handwriting really blows. The guy said that the dark continent has risen. He has beaten a couple of the guy down there like Greaseman. Howard said the guy thinks that they're even higher in the ratings than they show. He read about the other ratings services that show them with great ratings. Howard said the guy says this is a ''doable situation'' but Howard didn't like that. The guy also wrote about why he thinks they haven't grown faster and he wants to talk to him about that. Howard said that's up to him to figure out. He said they're growing plenty fast in other markets so that's up to Ed to figure out.
Howard said they should call Ed and find out what it is they have to do to grow. Howard didn't have his number to call though. He said he thinks they should make the call. Gary came in with the number a few seconds later. Howard made the call and got his answering machine.
Howard told Ed to get on the phone. Ed picked up but he could barely hear him so Ed had to switch phones. Howard said Ed wears a suit to work every day. He said he was having a hard time hearing him even after he changed the phone.
Howard went over the ratings fax he got from Ed. Ed said that there are people there who haven't even heard of the show. He said he has a plan but it's very complicated. Howard said he doesn't have a plan. Ed said he does. He said they're doing well against the other people in the market. Howard said that if he plans on trying to get more advertising money out of Tom, forget it. Howard said he'll do whatever Ed wants. Ed said he wants him to do a commercial saying he's got the funniest show in the market. Howard told Ed to write it. He said he really doesn't need him to help with that.
Howard told Ed to throw some ideas out to him. Ed told Howard he had an idea for a commercial where they show a guy laughing in his car and laughs so much that he drives off a cliff. Then they say that the show is so funny you'll die laughing. Howard asked Ed if he can be in the car when it goes off the cliff. Robin said she knew he didn't have any ideas.
Howard heard Ed's answering machine cut off after that. He said that's why they weren't able to hear him. Ed told Howard they assumed that everyone had heard the show in the market. They now know that's not the case. He said they compare Howard to Morton Downey there so they have to get the word out that it's not like that. Howard said he's with Ed but he doesn't get why it involves him.
Howard said Ed's plan is basically to run a commercial. He said he doesn't get why ''we'' have to do that. Howard said he's with him and now they don't need the meeting. Ed said that was pretty easy. Howard let Ed go after that. He and Robin goofed on Ed a little bit about the commercial idea he had. Howard said he knew the guy didn't have a plan. They went to break after that.
Howard said Jeff wrote a book called ''The Chromium Program.'' He thinks that it would be good for the audience because it's an alternative to steroids. Howard said he doesn't want to have the guy on but Robin told him he should just have him in. Howard said he really doesn't want to.
Howard wondered if he should call and have the guy on the show. Robin said yes. Howard said he'll do it just to get it out of the way. Howard made the call and said he had other stuff he could be doing today.
Jeff picked up and Howard told him that he's on the air now so juts say what he has to say. Jeff plugged his book and Fred played some snoring sounds. Jeff explained what his book was about while Howard and Robin talked over him. They muted their voices so he couldn't hear them.
Howard said that Jeff is very serious about his work and maybe this show isn't really where he wants to plug the book. Howard said he acts like he owes him a favor or something but he really hasn't done that much for him.
Howard asked what vitamin he can take to make his wiener bigger. Jeff laughed and said he's not sure. Jeff said he knows they don't do a serious program but he went on and on about what this Chromium does. Howard muted his voice again and talked over Jeff as he was telling them about what this stuff does. They played fart sounds and things like that over him too. Howard kept doing the mute thing with Jeff. He'd get him talking and then talk over him and play sounds effects.
Howard said he thinks that if you take Chromium you talk a lot and bore people to death. Robin said this was a fascinating call. She was just goofing on the guy too though. Howard let Jeff go a short time later.
Howard read some mail they got from some people. Howard said he got some feedback about the flag burning conversation they had the other day. Howard said the guy must not have heard what he had to say about it. He said he doesn't burn flags himself. The writer told him that he should be shot and gutted for supporting flag burning.
Gary came in and told Howard that Young MC's girlfriend is going to be dancing in New Jersey. He said she was going to be at a place called Frank's Chicken House. Howard said that's unbelievable she's going to be doing that. He said he knew he could get her. He said that when she was in there. Gary said that it's really her too, he checked into it. Howard said he's pretty sure that he could get her based on that. He said she claims to be conservative but now she's dancing at a nude club called Frank's Chicken House.
Howard said he feels angry about Young MC having that chick. He said that he's just a celebrity who used his status to get her. Howard said he could have done the same thing with his own status.
Howard read another letter from a guy who filled him in on a guy who used to call him scum. Howard said hat it was this guy Fugazi that owned a car service and he used to call him scum. Howard said he had nothing against him until the guy started bad mouthing him. Howard said the guy is a dick head.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to thank him for giving him his life back. Howard said he was about to hang up on him until he heard that. The guy told Howard that he was into drugs really heavy but hearing Sam on the show helped. He said he found out that he could have a good time in life without getting high.
Howard said that this is great. He said that he likes that they helped this guy out. The caller said he gets sick of hearing people putting him down. He said he does a lot of good too. Howard thanked the guy for calling and found out that he's dealing now instead of taking drugs. He spent a little more time talking to him about what he did and how he kicked the habit.
Howard said he got a letter from a guy that was very similar. He said that he has to find the letter first. He dug through it and found a letter from a guy he knew in high school. Howard read that one instead. He said the guy was looking for his help finding someone to produce some stuff that he had written. Howard said the guy is a lawyer, song writer and a Broadway play writer.
Howard found one letter he got from a guy who was going off on him about his put downs of Barbara Bush. The writer called him ''Mr. Stein.''
Howard found the email that was similar to the story the guy on the phone had told. Howard read that one and the writer was telling him about how the show saved his life because he had to stay home and listen to it. He didn't take his normal subway ride and it probably saved his life because there was an accident on that train. Howard said there was another story about a guy who may have been saved by listening to the show too.
The caller asked what was going on with the video contest they had going on. Howard said they'll be picking some people to come down to the studio soon. The caller told them what video he sent in but Howard didn't remember seeing one of them. Stuttering John came in and said he didn't remember that one either. Howard let the caller go and moved on to some other stuff.
Howard played the interview and John asked Huntz how he came up with the name ''snatch.'' Howard said he had forgotten about that question. Hunts corrected him on the name and said it was ''Sach.'' John asked if there were any gay Bowery Boys. Huntz joked that he was. Huntz said there was a lot of gay Bowery Boys. Howard said John sounded like he was about to hock up a lung during this interview. He had to replay some of that to hear the hocking sound John made.
Howard played more of John's interview and he was asking Huntz if he still had that friggin hat he used to wear. Huntz said that he didn't save that stuff. He said he didn't believe in saving anything back then. John asked if he was uncircumcised and if it was tough to act stupid back then. John asked if there were any groupies for the Bowery Boys. Huntz said of course there were. John wrapped up after that.
Howard said they had some other interviews but he'll get to them some other time. John said he had one with Ralph Kiner. Howard said he was going to play that one later on. Howard said John asked him who got hit in the chin with more balls, Yogi Berra or Rock Hudson. He had to take a break before playing that stuff.
After the break, around 5:25pm, Howard played the other stuttering John interview with Ralph Kiner. Howard said he was a baseball player who is in the hall of fame. In the clip John asked Ralph some preamble questions to get him warmed up for the tough ones. John asked Ralph if he thanks god he doesn't play ball for George Steinbrenner. Ralph had a nice answer for that. John then asked who got hit in the chin with more balls, Yogi Berra or Rock Hudson. Ralph didn't want to answer that one. John asked a few more and let Ralph go.
Howard talked about how Jesse Jackson came out to defend Mayor Marion Barry. He said the guy is two faced. He wondered where he came from. Howard said the guy is a dumbo. Howard told Mayor Crackhead to stay away from Jackie too. He was busy doing his own show over in the corner there.
Howard and Robin talked about that story and some other stuff that was in the news. Ted wasn't sticking to the script they gave him. He was talking about a bunch of other things so Howard asked if that was in the script. Howard said he thinks that the Mayor should be committed.
Howard asked Robin what else she had in the news. Robin read about Cardinal O'Connor talking about Catholics in the government who are pro-choice being excommunicated from the church. Howard had some audio of O'Connor talking about that.
Howard said they can call the Cardinal if they want. He said that he's apparently in touch with his home planet of Mars. Howard got him on the line a short time later. It was Billy West doing his impression of O'Connor. Howard spoke to the Cardinal for a short time about this thing that was going on. Billy's impression was pretty close to the real Cardinal.
They spent a few minutes goofing on the cardinal and how he uses his hat to communicate with his home planet of Mars. The Cardinal was taking orders from his home planet as he was speaking to Howard and Robin. The Cardinal said that he got a message saying that Regis is the Anti Christ. He also told Howard and Robin what he thinks must happen to these people who are pro-choice. He was saying that Marion Barry was an imposter too. These were all messages he was getting from Mars. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard went to a break after that.
After an edited out break Robin read through some more news stories. She read about some gay parade incidents. Robin then read some news about a possible AIDS vaccine that could come out in the next 10 years. She had some audio of a doctor talking about that.
Robin read about how Donald Trump wasn't able to pay his bills this past week. Howard said he had no idea that was going on and he wondered why people were asking him about that like Trump is his personal friend. Howard said he's not in the same league as Trump. They spent a short time talking about that.
Robin read a story about a flag burning amendment that will be voted on soon. She said there are some Senators from their area who oppose the bill. They had to take another break after that.
Howard guessed that he was an angry guy and he didn't like Gary. The caller said that's not the case either. He said that he got a call last week asking him to call this guy ''Howard'' and he had no idea who this ''Howard'' was. He said he made the call and didn't want to wait on hold so he hung up.
The caller told Gary he's not even sure why he's on the air. He told Gary to get back to work and get off the air.
Howard and Robin had some guesses about who he was. Robin asked if he was black. The caller said he can make his voice sound not black. He still sounded black to Robin and Howard when he did the other voice. The caller said that he isn't really out on tour when Robin asked about that.
Howard and Robin took turns asking questions. They found out that the guy wasn't a fan of the show. He said that he's a sports guy but it wasn't quite clear what he did. Howard asked if he was in baseball. He said he was not. He said that he isn't a player but he may be involved with the game. The caller said he isn't a player but he is in baseball kind of. Gary said he used to be a player. Howard asked if he was Ralph Kiner. That wasn't the right answer. Robin asked if it was Reggie Jackson. She was correct.
Howard introduced Mayor Crackhead to Reggie and talked to him a little bit about his history. Reggie told Howard he's out traveling doing stuff for the Topps baseball card people. He said he has to do that to make money. He said that's probably why Howard does his show, for money. Howard confirmed that.
Reggie talked about his car collection and things like that. Reggie didn't know what station he was on or what city he was even calling. He had to ask Howard where they were located. He had never heard of Howard.
Howard tried to get some info out of Reggie about how many women he's been with and things like that. Reggie wasn't saying much about that stuff though.
Howard and Robin spent a few more minutes talking to Reggie about various things. Howard thanked him for calling in and said that he'd like him to stop by next time he's in New York City. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin had a story about James Brown being allowed to fly to New York to testify for his former hair dresser, Al Sharpton. Howard said he had no idea the guy was a hair dresser. They spent a minute talking about that story.
Robin read about a story about an air show where a plane crashed. Robin said it killed the show organizer. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about what happened. Howard spent a little more time talking to Mayor Crackhead too. Robin read a couple more quick stories and then they ended the show.
Amy was on the phone so Howard took the call and talked about how they were walking around Manville where Frank's was at. He said that he met Amy's mom. Howard said Amy was running around naked and her mom was taking pictures of her. He said he likes her mom a lot. He said his mom would be uptight about something like that. Howard said Amy's mom keeps the leaches off of Amy.
Howard said Amy's head was in his lap and her feet were hanging out the window by the time they were in the car. Howard said she was also cradling his leg. He said she didn't have to be that friendly.
Howard said he was all sexed up from that on Friday. He said Amy got into a bikini in the car. He said she was sitting in a certain way and she knows what she's doing with her body. He said he's had a miserable weekend. He wasn't able to have sex with her. He said he wanted to have sex with her but he can't do that. Howard asked her if she knows what it's like to be a man. He said he was next to a beautiful woman the whole time.
Howard said he masturbated thinking about her last night. He said she was in the bikini in the car and he acted like it was no big deal. Meanwhile he was all sexed up. Howard said they got to this place Frank's Chicken House and it's on a residential street. He said there are guys lined up to see naked chicks on the street where old people are just outside knitting. Howard said the town has tried to get rid of the place but they can't do it. Howard said this guy Frank is no longer there but they've kept the name. Howard said there's no alcohol served there so they keep the business open.
Howard said Amy is fun. He said she's getting more and more obtainable. He said she was turning him n really big time. He was aroused every 5 minutes. He said her mom was there loading up the Polaroid. Howard said they were all fantasizing about getting a mother/daughter combo. He said Amy is only 23 and her mom might be like 40 or so. He said they were thinking about how hot she might be.
Howard said he introduced Amy to the crowd and they went wild. She handcuffed him on stage and then she did her show in oil. He said that was really hot. He said she was writhing around on the stage and he wanted to do it with her but she said no. Howard said he got off the stage and went into the dressing room. He said she had to clean up after the show so she could take pictures with the guys. He said he posed in a bunch of pictures with her. Howard said he forgot to bring them in with him. He said he held her leg while she poses. Howard said he was kissing her and she looked like she wanted it. Howard said about 800 guys were on line and she was getting naked and putting clothes on when guys would come up to take pictures. He said he was wild. The ten bucks is worth it because you get to touch her.
Howard said Amy doesn't work out or anything so she could fall apart pretty easy. He said she looks great though. He said there is no fat on her at all. Howard said he was talking to her about the body fat in the car and she figured it was like 5 or 10 percent.
Howard said he had to put her on hold for a break. He said he wants to do that and tell Robin more about what was going on. He said he's aroused just talking about it.
After an edited out break Howard told Robin about how he had his picture taken with Amy Lynn and she hardly had any hair on her body. She's got light brown hair so it doesn't show up. He said she's better naked. He said she really is good looking. Howard said he saw everything.
Howard said Amy changed in the dressing room and put her boobs in his face and told him they look pretty good for implants. Howard said they really did. Howard said he there were other girls coming in and showing him their implants too. He said it was wild. He said the other girls look like guys standing next to Amy.
Robin said there was a guy who said that they had a girl at the Chicken House who looked better. Fred said there was one who was good looking. Howard said she's no Amy though.
Howard said it was a weird scene. He said Amy promised that after she finished with the pictures she'd walk around town with him as his girlfriend. He just wanted guys to be jealous of him. Howard said they did get to walk around and some of the old guys out there were kind of wondering what was going on. Howard said they went to a mall and bought some condoms and stuff. He said he asked for extra large. He said he bought like 35 of them for one night. That's what he told the woman at the store.
Howard said he was buying stuff even though there was nothing he needed. He said he bought Amy a rain hat. Howard said he told her to pretend she was his girlfriend but she wasn't acting. He said she would pull back when he would go to kiss her. Howard said he ended up begging her again. Then they went into a bed store and tested out some beds. He got on top of her on a water bed. He didn't care anymore.
Howard said he told one guy who was watching them that he'd let him lay in the bed with her if he gave him 20 bucks. The guy gave him the 20.
Howard said he got Amy's top off in the car again. He said she was topless in the car and she had her feet hanging out the window. He said she came over and gave him a kiss goodbye at the end of it all. He said she seemed to be having fun. Amy said it really was fun. Amy said she's not attracted to married men though.
Amy said her mom is like the biggest fan now. She said the dial-a-date continued all night. They were all showing up the rest of the night. She had a bunch of people from record companies and stuff there too. Howard said she has to check into that before he falls for it.
Howard said he got angry over the weekend from all of that. He was all worked up and didn't get anything. Howard said he almost got carried away in the bed store.
Amy said they had lines around the corner there. She had to do an extra show because of that. Howard said she could have done some stuff to him. He said she'll probably be with some other guy tonight. Amy said there is no man.
Amy said she did a show for a blind man. She said she got a standing ovation for that. Howard said the oil show is great. He said she looks 50 times better when she has oil all over her.
Howard said Amy is perfect. He was going to describe part of her but he didn't think he could get too graphic. Howard was talking about her boobs and found out she used to be a B-cup. Amy said they're in proportion now. Howard said he loved walking around town with her on his arm. He said he was out of his mind and completely sexed up. Howard said Fred wasn't sexed up at all. He said Ronnie told him he masturbated like 19 times over the weekend. Amy must have known that she had him. Amy said of course she did.
Howard said he asked Fred how it was for him and he said he just has different fantasies. Howard said Gary threw a tantrum. He said he was supposed to come to the show but he didn't get to ride in the limo. Howard told him he didn't miss anything. Gary said he didn't get to see anything and didn't think it would be fun to ride in the van with the other guys. Howard said that this wasn't about fun. This was work.
Howard said Ronnie was wearing a Dollhouse t-shirt and it didn't look good. He said that you don't want to advertise that you're a horny guy. Gary said Ronnie thinks that you do have to advertise it. Howard said Ronnie had to come along. He said he couldn't leave him behind. Gary said Howard told him to do what he wanted to do. He said all he knows is that he got left behind.
Howard said Ronnie was there for a very specific reason. He's there to punch guys in the face if they bother him. Howard said that he was out of his mind from the whole thing.
Howard said he told Ronnie he can see why people would want to spend money on her. He said that once he had her he wouldn't go back to anything else. Amy said she had a good time walking around with Howard on her arm. Howard said the guys were telling him that he was the luckiest man in the world. Howard said it was great. He said that Amy wouldn't like him if he wasn't on radio. He said he wouldn't like her if she was as hot as she is. Howard said if she was ugly he'd think that she was kind of bland. Howard said he doesn't think she's shallow or anything. He said she's as smart as any other woman he's met.
Howard said he doesn't want to be Amy's friend anymore. He said he's had enough. Howard said he was sick with lust and he was nauseous and dizzy when he went home. He said he's aroused just thinking about it now.
Howard asked Amy what she thinks of him. She said she thinks that he's good looking. She would give him about an 8. Gary said that's not believable. Amy said that counts his personality. She said he really is up there. Robin said she's lying. Amy swore she wasn't. Howard said he's going to get a nose job so she must be counting that.
Howard said if he's so good looking why didn't she kiss him deeply. She said he's married, that's why. Howard said they were acting though. He said she could have pretended. Howard gave Amy some plugs and let her go a short time later. Howard said he can't see her anymore because his head is going to explode. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said they used to call the Freeport docks and he'd do a whole bit where they had fish crashing and things like that. Then he'd call old black women and make them think they had won some prizes. He said he had some pretty cool ones. Howard said the best one he did was call a drug store and make a date with the guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Frank's Chicken House show was great. He said there was a lot of guys there.
Gary came in and said that the blind guy was there. He wanted to come up but Howard said that would depress him so he didn't want to bring him up. Howard asked how he got there. Gary didn't know. Gary said he was outside with the stick thing. Gary said that someone was asking about Amy coming in today. He thought she was going to show up again.
Robin said there's a term that some people use and it was ''comrade.'' She said that's what Harry Bellafonte was using when he was talking to Nelson Mandella.
Howard talked about this Mayor Barry in Washington DC and how people have to get rid of him. They can't condone his behavior.
Howard said he was thinking about their mayor there in New York too. He said he wanted to spend 2 million dollars to welcome Nelson Mandella. Howard said they have so many problems there and they don't need to be spending that kind of money on that. Howard said they don't have enough money for throwing parades and things like that.
Howard said the Italians don't care what Mandella thinks about Italy. He said that thy should just let him do what he wants to do. He said the Jews should leave him alone and not care about what he thinks.
Howard said that he would never ask Tom Chiusano what he thinks about the show. He said the guy doesn't know what a good bit is. Howard said Tom can't talk in real life. He said that he's a mental patient. Howard said he's not a bright guy so he's not going to talk to him about the show. He said Tom is very nice but he's stupid. Howard said he's also one of the nicest guys he's worked for but he has average intelligence. Howard said he doesn't get the big picture.
Howard said the Jews have to say F-you to the world and not worry so much about who likes them or not. Howard apologized for addressing the Jews for so long. He said he should talk about other things.
Howard asked the guy if he got his picture taken with Amy. He said he didn't. Howard said he should have. The caller said that Howard is the king and everyone was loving what was going on there at Frank's.
Howard said he had Ronnie in a dress. He said he came out in an evening gown at the club. He said he had the hair on his back and all of that. Howard said he took care of business.
The caller asked if Sharon Stone has been on his show. Howard said she hasn't. Howard said he's had it with good looking women coming up there. They went to break after that.
After the edited out break Howard read the article he had about his visit to Manville. Howard said they wrote about him showing up and going to Frank's. Howard talked about what the club was like and how you stand there watching the girls dancing. Howard said they serve chicken there and you have to eat it standing up.
Howard said they wrote about Amy showing up to do the show there and they said she was ''semi-clad.'' Howard read through the article where they talk about her being on the show that morning. Howard said they got a warm welcome there in Manville. Howard said there were people asking him to come to their store when they drove up.
They described the whole scene as Howard and Amy walked in and went to Frank's. Howard said the owner had to turn people away because there were so many showing up. The owner of the club didn't know Amy was going to be giving them publicity like that and it was a bonus.
Howard said they quoted one woman saying they should blow that place up. Howard thought it was great that these people were sitting on their porches watching that. Howard said they were talking to these old women who were saying Amy would burn in hell for what she's doing. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said that Pablo is breathless after running in there. Pablo asked why he's there. Howard said his first day on the air was probably like this too. He said that he was out of breath just like Pablo. Howard asked where they found him. Pablo said he called in when Gary put out the word they were looking for interns. He said he quit his job and he's working for Howard and working a part time job too.
Howard said Pablo is an intern there and he's not a bad looking guy. He apparently went up and gave his card to someone. Gary said he had to explain what was going on. Howard said this job looks like fun but sometimes you have to sacrifice some stuff. There was something Howard wanted to talk to Gary about but Gary said he didn't want to bring it up on the air. Howard asked Gary if he's looking for a job that's fun. Gary said he's not.
Gary said that he had to leave his whole afternoon open for this thing on Friday. He said he had to get his bathroom re-tiled and he didn't get to do that. Howard said he needed Gary to stay there and do some things. Gary said he didn't get to leave until 1:30. Howard said he should be happy that he was there answering phone calls. He said they get the most interesting phone calls in the world.
Howard said he didn't know he hired Gary to have fun. Gary said it wasn't even his fault. Howard said Gary is a coffee getter. That's his job. He said he should be happy with that.
Howard said in the midst of this whole thing Gary had a problem with Pablo. Howard said Pablo has nothing going for him. Howard said he's kind of short and chubby. Gary said that his second day there he was saying that he could have the hot intern they had there. Pablo said that if he had enough time to rap with her that he could get a date with her.
Gary said about 3 weeks ago they had a conversation about the level of his work. He was doing a great job until Friday. Gary said he wasn't digging the work he was doing though. Howard said he had this same conversation with Gary a while back.
Gary said he yelled at Pablo and then he came back and did great work. He said on Friday he kept telling him to get back to work but he kept talking to the girls there. Then John told him that Pablo was trying to give his number to someone. Pablo was hanging around Amy. Howard said he's supposed to be working. Pablo said he was just passing by and he thought it would be okay to do that. Gary said he kept telling him that he had to see him. He said he told him that he had to see him ''now!'' Gary said that he had his phone number written down on a piece of paper that he was going to give to her. Gary said he had tape of all of this going on. Howard said he had to take a break before playing it. They went to break a short time later.
After the break Howard got back to Gary and Pablo. Howard said Gary was in a bad mood on Friday because of this. Gary said he was a little out of his mind on Friday and he had to explain why. Howard played the tape and Gary was going off on Pablo for bothering the guests. Gary said he doesn't want him bothering anyone. Gary said that he will hold this for Monday and talk to Howard about it. Gary said that this isn't a dating service. Howard said that Gary has used it as a dating service.
Gary said Pablo was saying that he just can't help it. Howard said he's more annoying than Shelly. Howard said he's 36 and he wouldn't have done what he did. Howard said he's there to help them and he should be worried that they're going to get rid of him. Gary said you'd think he'd want to impress them and not do things like that.
Howard played more of the tape and Gary was still going off on him about bothering the guests. Gary said that the guests should be left alone when they're in the green room. Gary said Pablo kept giving him excuses. Howard said Gary yells at Pablo just like he's yelled at Gary. Howard said Gary doesn't care what Pablo thinks. He just wants him to do his job.
Howard said he can't annoy the guests. Howard said he has annoyed him and Gary. Howard said the only reason Amy gave him her time is because he's on the show and she thought he was part of it. Gary said he was going to give him the number for Nutri-System but he thought about it and held it back. Howard said he likes the way he's handling this.
Howard said Pablo is a wacky guy. He said he likes him when he's working. Robin said he's a scary dude. She said Amy was probably talking to him because she was afraid.
Howard read the article he was talking about earlier. He went through the details of the parade in the article and talked about a few other things in the paper.
Robin read about the lighting of the Empire State Building for gay week. She said it was bathed in lavender. Howard played some audio of people reacting to it. Robin said they had parades all over the country. She had audio from their parade there in New York. Howard said he's sorry he missed it. Robin had a few clips of people at the parade commenting on it too. Robin had some audio from the Los Angeles parade. She had Howard play a bunch of things. They took a break a short time later.
Howard said that he looks pretty handsome. He thought he had it greased up on channel 5 the other day. Gilbert said it was like grease and oil. Howard said he looks better with his hair like that. Robin liked it too. Howard said he saw him on TV and he was like ''whoa!'' Howard said he saw Gilbert on Super Boy. Gilbert said that he played Knick Knack on that show.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. She read some more stories. She had one about an AIDS conference that was going on. Robin had some audio clips to play too. She had Howard play those and some guy was getting heckled the whole time. Howard said that he knows a guy who created a vaccine for AIDS. His name is Knick Knack. Gilbert went into his Andrew Dice Clay impression and talked about ''the homos'' who were talking about AIDS.
Robin read about Nelson Mandella visiting the United States. Robin went through that story and talked about who got to meet Mandella. Spike Lee was one of them so they goofed on him for a minute. Howard said that he had to straighten out about 35 Jews about the Mandella thing. He said he wants to smack them all around about the whole thing. Howard said Mandella has enough to do in Africa. The Jews shouldn't care if he likes them or not.
Robin said Stevie Wonder wrote a song for Mandella. She had some audio of that. Howard played a song but it turned out to be Georgie Girl instead of the Stevie song. Howard eventually played the Stevie Wonder song. Howard and Gilbert goofed on that a little bit too.
Robin said there were some other performers at the event. She had some audio of Paul Simon and some woman singing an African song for Mandella. Howard and Gilbert had some fun goofing on that one too.
Robin had a few other sound clips from the Mandella visit. Robin said that Mayor Crackhead in Washington DC decided to stay away from the event. His wife showed up instead. Robin had some audio of her talking about the visit. Howard said they have to stop supporting this man in Washington DC. He said that he's just not the kind of guy you want representing you. Howard did his impression of Larry King writing about Mayor Barry. He was saying that he never misused funds. Howard wondered how he knows that. He said he must have done his own investigation.
Howard said that Gilbert had some dates coming up. He said he should have cone in on Friday when Amy Lynn was there. Howard told him about going to Frank's Chicken House and what that was like. They went to break a short time later.
After the break Howard came back and asked Gilbert if he has a girlfriend now. Gilbert said he does. Howard said he's not a bad looking guy. Gilbert said ''I'm a piece of ass...'' Robin and Howard talked to him about his Super Boy part and what was going on with that. Howard said that Lana Lange was hot on that show. Howard said that Gilbert put a metal football helmet on her head and read her mind. He said the set was really cheap. Gilbert said you have to know the right people to get a part like that. He said they actually called him for it.
Howard asked him why he was called Knick Knack. Gilbert said that he created things out of knick knacks so that must be why. Howard said the guy had no plan in the show. Robin said that Super Boy came crashing through the wall like it was paper. Howard and Robin talked about how crazy that was. They went to another break after that.
After the edited out break Howard had Robin do some more news. Robin read a story about the Zodiac killer and what he's been up to lately. Robin said that authorities think he will strike again in about 20 days. Robin said they expect him to visit all 5 boroughs there in New York. Robin said that they think this guy knows people's signs and they suggest that no one tell anyone what their birth date is if they don't know them. Robin wrapped up her news after that.
After playing the bit Howard explained what some of the references were in the bit. Howard said that he had his hidden antennas in that hat he wears.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's Jewish and he understands the whole Mandella thing. Howard congratulated him on that. The caller told Howard what he knows about it and Howard just said that the Jews shouldn't be involved. The caller said he agrees. Howard said Mandella has to free his people. That's all he should be worried about. Howard said he doesn't care and hung up on the guy.
Howard took another call and the guy said he wanted to tell Howard something. Gilbert asked if he could hold a minute. He was doing his impression of Gary. Howard kept putting everyone back on hold. Howard eventually picked up on some of the callers. The Mandella caller was back on going on and on about why the Jews are upset with him. Howard said the Jews are always looking to get the crap kicked out of them. He doesn't know why they do that to themselves. Howard said he had to take another break after that.
Gilbert got in some plugs for ''Ford Fairlane'' and ''Problem Child'' which were coming out soon. He was in both movies. Howard said he hopes he's in the movie as more than a cameo. Gilbert said that's what ''Problem Child'' was like for him. He said it's the closest he's come to having a real part.
Howard asked Gilbert about memorizing the lines and how hard that is. Gilbert said it's not that bad because you don't have to memorize that much. He said you do like one line and then set up another camera angle.
Gilbert told Howard that he got into trouble for bad mouthing ''Ford Fairlane'' last time he was on the show. He said the people at FOX asked him what he was doing. Howard told Gilbert to tell them not to worry about it. Howard said that Gilbert won't say anything about the movie now. Gilbert said he saw the movie and he doesn't care about anything but his own scene. He said he played the part of a DJ in the movie. Howard said he gets shot in the scene. Howard asked how that went. Gilbert said it worked out pretty well. They went to break after that.
After the edited out break Howard said he saw something on the news about people who got artificial heart transplants. He said they're all suing now. Howard said a few years ago this guy invented the heart valve. He cut himself off and said he'd get to this tomorrow. He said he didn't have time today.
Howard did read some of Larry King's column where he writes down his thoughts and puts ''...'' after everything. Howard read some of those goofy lines that Larry wrote in his latest column. Howard said he was going to read more tomorrow. Larry was saying he likes the new flavor of Scope over the old flavor and stupid things like that. Howard goofed on Larry for a few minutes doing an impression of him reading those lines.
Howard and Gilbert had some fun with that for a few minutes. Gilbert was doing impressions and ended up doing his Seinfeld for a short time.
Howard had Robin wrap up her news. Robin read through some more stories and read one about someone being shot to death in the city. Robin said the guy was a tourist who was visiting the city. Robin said the guys got away. Robin said the guy jumped between the gunmen and his wife.
Robin read about Donald Trump and how things aren't getting any better for him. Robin said a German and French bank are holding out on some deal he's trying to make. Robin said he has to come up with the money by tomorrow so he doesn't go into default.
Robin read some other stories while Howard and Gilbert were doing their Larry King impressions. Robin read about Jack Klugman talking about his throat cancer. Robin said that he's going to be concentrating on directing now and he won't be doing a reunion with Tony Randall for The Odd Couple.
Robin read about what Oprah had coming up on her show today. She wrapped up her news after that. Howard and Gilbert were still doing their Larry King thing. They ended the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how good they were on Saturday night (WWOR TV show). He said that's all he could say about it. He said they were up against wrestling and they get huge ratings. Howard said he will never understand that wrestling stuff. He said it's like watching bad ballet. Robin said it was like watching a movie where you know the end.
Howard said he'll never get the people who watch it. Ronnie the Limo Driver was one of those people he'll never get.
Howard tried taking some phone calls but he had problems with the phones. One guy got through and said Saturday's show was great with Richard Simmons. Howard said it was a great show. They talked about some of the stuff that went on during that show. Howard said the chick on the show was really cute and she was kissing and hugging him during the break. Howard said that happened 3 different times. The guys said it was only once but Howard remembered it as 3.
Howard said they edited out one scene from the show. He was rolling around in bed with the girl. Howard said he had a bunch of stuff from back stage too and that should be put on TV too.
Howard said that chick had an amazing body and it might have been the best he's ever seen. Howard said if Young MC can get her then he should be able to get her too. Howard said the mom takes pictures of that chick when they're out at clubs. Howard said her name was Amy Lynn Baxter.
Howard said they should do wrestling on the show since they're up against them in the ratings. He said they could have the crew wrestling each other.
Howard let the caller go and took another call. One guy tried to tell a story but he could barely hear him. Howard said his phone system was a mess. He said he was pressing down on the guy's line and the people were actually on hold.
The caller said Howard was on vacation and Larry was on Carson talking about playing naked volleyball. Howard hadn't heard about that. He thanked him for the call since that's all he had to say.
Howard took another call from a guy who said his wife lost control when she was watching the show over the weekend. He said his wife isn't a fan but she still laughed at it. He told Howard to keep it up.
Howard took a call from another guy who told him how great the TV show was on Saturday. Howard said their show really goes by fast and it's good TV. He said there's not a lot of good stuff on TV right now. Howard said they try to keep a lot of good stuff coming at them.
Howard talked about this guy Richard Near who was in radio when he was growing up. Howard said he used to be a rock jock but now he's a news guy. Howard said the guy had done nothing in his career at all. Howard said he's a personality now all of a sudden and he's got things to say about his TV show. Howard said the guy is a dick head and a bastard. Howard said he loves these guys who have done nothing in their lives and they're seething with jealousy.
Howard said he's at a weird juncture in his career. His contract is up in October but he has to get up at 4 in the morning and it's rough. He said guys like Letterman get to work in the afternoons and that's much better.
Howard asked Fred what they were doing in the scene he did where he had to put soup in the chick's mouth. Fred said he was having issues shooting the scene.
The caller asked if Richard Simmons left angry from that show. Howard said Richard leaves the same way every time so he's never sure if he's angry for real or not. Howard had to hang up on the caller because he was mumbling.
Howard said he may call Richard today to find out if he's mad. He said he wants to tell him what a hit he was on the show though. Robin said they should do that on the air. Howard said he could do that.
Howard said Richard was running around the halls at the show over the weekend. Howard said they had to fly him in and Richard demanded 2 tickets. He said Richard wanted one for him and one for his luggage. Howard figured he just wanted to be left alone.
Howard said Richard called and said he couldn't fly at night so they had to switch the flight. They got him the two seats but then he couldn't sit on the left side of the plane, he had to sit on the right side. Jackie asked if there's a reason for that. Howard said it must be a superstition. He said they had to find people to switch. They did that and then Richard asked for a pink plane and that's where he drew the line.
Howard said Richard wanted to be driven to the airport too so they had to send a car for him. He was upset when he got to the TV studio. He refused to sign a release because he wanted his tickets in his hand before he would. Howard said they told him they were at the airport. Richard was still upset even after they got a fax of the tickets. Gary said he had to hold Richard's hand to make him sign that release.
Howard said the next big thing was Richard making someone go to the airport with him. The whole thing was a nightmare. He said he was a guest from hell.
Howard said he had to step in and take care of some stuff. He said no matter what he gets involved with he has to step in and help out. He said it was a really weird day. Howard said Gary was being yelled at and he had to step in and save him.
Howard asked if they had any guests coming in. Gary told Howard they had Robert Wuhl coming in. They also had the Moody Blues coming in.
Howard said he took that lie detector test and now he thinks that they're not so reliable. Howard said he'd bet that there are maybe 20 percent of people in jail are innocent and telling the truth. Howard said he told the truth and he still failed.
Howard said if you take a lie detector test and there's less writing on it then you're more likely to pass. Howard said the blood pressure thing on your arm hurts and it's not so easy. Robin said she would take one. Howard said he bets she would back out of it.
Howard said there are so many wacky inventions and who is to say that it actually works. He said he's not sure how accurate it could really be. Howard said they actually asked him the questions before the test so there were no surprises.
Howard said he was asked if he had ever lied in a situation to get him out of something very serious. Howard said he didn't understand that. He said he has lied to a lot of people and wasn't sure how to answer it. Howard said he took it as not being that serious.
Howard said he didn't stick his tongue in that babe's mouth. He said he doesn't know where Jessica's (Hahn) mouth has been. He said he pulled back. He said she's had a lot of cars in that garage and he doesn't know who they are.
The caller also said that he enjoys wrestling but just watches it as a goof. Howard said that's not true. Watching it as a goof is watching it for like 3 minutes.
Howard talked about growing up and having an awful childhood. He said his parents didn't take him out of the neighborhood no matter how bad it was. Howard said high school is the worst thing you can put a kid through.
Howard said you're stuck in school when you go and you have no choice. He said when he got older he was able to make a choice to get away from the knucklehead's.
Howard said that school is a really bad scene and he tries to make sure his kids are good where they go. He said it's been good so far. Howard said there are a lot of bullies out there and that's what wrestling reminds him of.
Howard said wrestling is fixed too and it's like they're just doing ballet. The caller said some people think of it as like theater. Howard said he doesn't like any of it. He said banging your foot on the floor is just dumb because everyone can see them doing that stuff. Howard said if wrestling is theater then Ham hocks are food.
Howard read more of the article about Debella and how he's been dealing with the decline of his ratings. He's lost a few ratings points since Howard came to town. Howard gave the guy some advice and said he shouldn't worry about what he's doing, he should worry about his own show.
Howard read about some of the stuff Mark Drucker said about him. He said he knows Mark and he stole some stuff from him. Howard said Debella claims his show was an institution. Howard said that's only because there was nothing else to listen to.
Howard read about some of the stuff people are giving Debella a hard time about now that he's losing his ratings. Howard said they also talk about Debella's claims that he makes a million a year doing that stuff and he's really not. It's all based on his ratings.
Howard said he'd like to know how his marriage is holding up too. Howard went on to read about Debella's advertising and all of that stuff as well. Debella was talking about the names he used to be called and how it didn't really bother him.
Howard read about Debella kicking in a Coke machine one time when he heard some ratings news. Howard said Andy Bloom apparently let that story slip out.
Howard had some other details about what Debella and his family have had to endure from the Stern fans out there. Howard said the guy thinks that they're doing something to them and they're really just sitting there in New York doing their own thing.
Debella had also talked about the time Andy Bloom and another guy showed up to a live appearance with a sign that read ''Howard Forever, Baldie Never.'' He had to slip out of the event since he was almost done with it anyway.
Howard spent some more time reading the whole article. He had a lot of details about what he's been going through. Jackie siad that this guy is actually giving other people ideas on how they can make the guy crazy. They just have to do anything he mentjoned in the article.
Howard said he was tryhing to paraphrase a lot of stuff and he shouldn't do that becaue it's so good. Hwoard talked about some of the claims in the article that weren't true. Howard said Debella calimed that he had seen him down in Atlantic City and sat across from him. Howard said htat never happened.
Howard read some other details about Captain Janks calling Debella and annoying him. Howard said they don't make Janks do that. They also have another guy in Philly who does that and they don't tell that guy what to do either.
Howard read more of the article going on and on about all of the nuttiness that was going on with the guy. Howard called him some names and said the guy has no talent. Howard said Rick Dees is more talented then Debella. Robin said that was a terrible thing to say. Howard said people should go out and read the article themselves to read all of the details he left out.
Howard said Debella is a walking disaster. He said once they beat them they can't even look at them anymore. Howard said Scott Shannon wasn't even able to look at them when they beat him. Howard said they're like Satan to them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he ran into ''Debaldie'' and said he had a nice looking wife. Howard said that's only because he had a top rated radio show for a while. The caller said some people saw him out and tried to say hi but John just walked right past and kept going.
The caller was also giving Howard some advice on the lie detector test thing and how he can fake it. He said you can bite your tongue and make it seem that you're lying about something when you're not.
The caller asked what the song is that they play at the start of the show. Howard said it's ''In a Mellow Tone'' by Duke Ellington. Howard said they don't even like it that much anymore but they can't get rid of it because people like it so much. Robin said they used to do it as a goof but people love it now.
Howard said they were going to do the news in a minute. Howard played some of the opening theme song and took another call. The caller said he tuned in to listen to MMR and they were doing really lame stuff there. Howard said he actually doesn't mind them tuning back and forth if they want to make sure he's still on his toes.
Howard talked about Mark Drucker working for John Debella and talked about how he had given him a job in the business. Howard said they really do suck. Howard said he's being honest when he says that too because he really doesn't think he's very good at all.
The caller said he saw Howard's show on Saturday night and he thought they had shot another show that nigh. Howard said they shot a couple but they're just bumping back a couple so they could stay current. Howard said the show is good and they can't get any good reviews. Howard said Larry King gets good reviews for doing his radio show on TV so he should get the same. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard asked Jackie to tell the joke to him that he told the other day. Jackie didn't remember which one it was. Howard said it was a good one and Jackie only seems to remember the unfunny ones. Gary reminded him which one it was. Jackie told the joke but Howard said that wasn't it. Howard said Jackie was going to be at Club Bene and it's worth going to see.
Robin got into her news and read a story about a squeegee guy who approached a car and ended up throwing his bottle through the car's window when they started to pull away. Howard said he doesn't mind the guys standing there with a cup but when they approach you like a squeegee guy does, that's just wrong. Howard said it's a form of robbery. Robin said she had a guy spray water at her when she refused to let him ''clean'' her window.
Robin read a story about Kitty Dukakis writing a book and blaming her drug addiction on her dead mother. They spent a short time talking about that story.
Robin read a story about a gang war that was going on in the city and in New Jersey. Some gunmen shot some others at a funeral of a dead gang member.
Robin read about cab driver killing in New York City and how there had been over 20 already that year. She read about the latest killings and how the family of that guy is going back to their home country because it seems to be safer. Howard said he and Robin are developing a cabbie helmet that's virtually indestructible.
After an edited out break Howard talked to Fred about popping the question to his girlfriend. Fred hadn't done it yet. They spent a couple of minutes talking to Fred about that. Howard also asked Fred if he was attracted to Robin. Fred said he doesn't think he'd date a co-worker if he wasn't dating Princess Norris (Alison). Fred said it's a bad idea to date co-workers so he wouldn't do that.
Howard asked Fred if he stayed celibate for so long so he could some day get on the Supreme Court like David Souter. Howard said he knows that no man can stay away from women and there's something wrong with that guy. Howard said a guy can't stay away from a woman because they do get a build up of stuff they have to get out of them.
Howard talked about what it might be like for him to go up and accept an award if he won one for the TV show. He said he'd thank ''Baba Booey'' and then did an impression of what that would be like and had some crying audio clips and things playing.
Howard said Robert is going to be doing an HBO special so Howard talked to him about that. Robert said they have some guys who come out to see him and end up telling him they'd like to do the special for them. Robert said they're doing a show down in Atlantic City and taking a bus down there. They have 41 people going on the bus. Robert said that show is going to be free. He has some movies in the works as well.
Howard wanted to get back to the news. Robin got back into that and read about this Catholic Bishop who is going to stop giving awards to anyone in the church who is pro choice. Howard said he agrees with that. He said if you're in that church you have to go along with everything.
Robin read about Marilyn Quayle and a picnic she was at where she didn't allow spouses and kids. She didn't want to see any girlfriends and boyfriends co-mingling unless they were going to get married.
Robin read about a guy who survived on his own for 14 days by drinking his own urine while trapped in a collapsed hotel. Howard thought that stuff was no good for you and he can't imagine drinking that. Howard went into his echo and had Fred play some clips while he recreated the scene.
Howard got back to Robert Wuhl and talked to him some more about his HBO special. Robert said it's going to be a bit of a variety show. He said they're going to have some special stuff going on in the show.
Howard said he had to go to break but he talked about getting his eyes fixed too. He said he thought about getting contacts but he hates putting stuff in his eyes. He said it's a drag being big nosed and blind. Howard said they don't want him wearing sunglasses on the TV show so he might have to do something. Howard said they talk about how they can't see his eyes every week. He said they tell him that people think he looks sinister with the sunglasses on. Howard said he doesn't believe that people should put stuff directly in their eyes.
Robert told Howard if he doesn't like putting stuff in his eyes he shouldn't do it. He said it might alter his performance. Howard told him to be quiet. He went on to talk about how his glasses hide his face but his nose actually looks smaller with no glasses.
Howard wondered if a seeing eye dog would be possible for him. He said he doesn't like having to wear glasses but he does need to see. He's not cool, he just can't see. Howard said the regular glasses don't look cool with the heavy metal look so that's why he wears sunglasses. He went to break a short time later.
Howard said he used to listen to the Moody Blues when he was a kid. He had Gary bring the guys in a short time later. Howard introduced the guys to Robert and asked him if he was going to stick around. Robert said he would. Howard said he had Justin Hayward and John Lodge in there. He said they were the two of the guys that counted in the band.
Howard asked Gary to give the guys headphones. Gary said he didn't know Robert was staying. Howard asked the guys if they all get a full cut of the band. They said they all do. Howard said the guys that write the songs should get more. Howard said the record companies rip everyone off though so he's not surprised they're there to promote their stuff today.
Howard asked the guys to get closer to their mics. Howard told them how crappy their equipment was in there and said they've complained about that stuff a lot and they never fix the problems. The headphones sounded like crap and didn't work right. Howard asked Gary to fix that but the guys told him it was okay. Howard said he has the number 1 radio show and this is the way things go.
Robert asked the guys if they had broken up the band before. Howard told Robert that's what he was going to ask. Howard asked what the thing was on the back of their album. The guys told him it was a visual Yantra.
Howard told the guys that he has gotten off of drugs but he used to smoke his weed while looking at the back of that album. Howard said he and his friends used to stare at that thing while smoking.
Howard talked about this Judge Souter guy and told Justin and John about how strange he is. Howard said the guy is really nervous looking and very shaky like a house of cards. Howard asked them what they think he's up to. The guys said he's probably working his way through the phone book. Howard said he thinks the guy is so backed up that he's going to blow a hole in his robe one day.
Howard asked John and Justin about their wives and if they're only having sex with them. They said they were so Howard figured they were just saying that because their wives might hear the show.
Howard told the guys that Robert had been in the Batman movie with Michael Keaton. They recognized him from that. Howard said he wouldn't have just had some shlub in the studio with them.
Howard talked to John and Justin about the game of cricket and talked about how strange that seems to be. Robert said he's been over there and the TV is really bad over there. Howard said one day they had soccer, cricket, snooker and darts on TV at the same time.
Howard said England is like the size of Philadelphia so they don't have the money to produce a lot of good stuff. Howard said he's been to England and you can't even get a good steak over there. He said they do have good Indian food though.
Howard said they should sing the national anthem and played Roseanne Barr's awful performance. He said he's seen Roseanne's husband Tom Arnold and he seems to be close to a nervous breakdown.
Howard got back to the Moody Blues and said he would love to see them live to recreate what they do on their albums. Howard said he's never seen them before. Howard said they were years ahead of the Beatles with the stuff they were doing. He told them to admit that was true. They said they loved the Beatles and they didn't think like Howard was thinking back then. Howard said he has to toot his own horn so he wouldn't mind it if they did. They weren't doing it though.
Howard said the thing that counts is how many records you sell. He said that the rock and roll hall of fame doesn't mean anything.
Howard asked the guys who influenced them. They mentioned Buddy Holly, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bobby Darrin and others. Howard said those are exactly his influences too so that's why he likes them.
Howard said the Moody Blues were going to be playing tonight at some event. Howard gave them some plugs for that and said that once they're done with that they're done with everything and they're going to retire.
Howard said he's embarrassed by his father and the kind of money he made. Howard said the guys in the Moody Blues are great parents and must bring in a ton of money for their kids.
Howard asked the guys if they could jam a little bit for them. Howard said he had to take a commercial break first and then play some music with the Moody Blues. They had to go to break a short time later.
After the song Howard asked them to do ''Knights in White Satin'' but they wanted to do ''Ride My See Saw.'' Howard said it was cool to hear them acoustically. Howard said he can't believe the Beatles ripped them off.
Howard asked why they won't do Knights in White Satin. They said there were some high notes that they might not be able to get to in the song while sitting there like they are. Howard sang it himself a little bit.
Howard said he admires that they're not all burnt out like so many others are. Howard went on to ask about what Knights in White Satin is about. He wondered if it was about satin sheets. The guys said they could do ''Ride My See Saw'' so Howard said that would be fine.
Howard told the guys about how he used to play Neil Young songs and had sex to one song with this girl. He said the girl ended up breaking down and crying while they were doing it. He said that he thinks that he might have done it to one of their albums.
Howard asked the guys if they have any famous friends. They weren't really coming up with any names. Howard gave them some plugs for some appearances they were going to be making.
Howard asked if he could come back stage and hang out with them at their show. They said that they might have room back there but they didn't think they'd have any food. Howard said he had never been back stage at Jones Beach so he wasn't sure how to get back stage. The guys told him that he'd have to go through some tunnel and under water.
Howard thanked the guys for coming in. He was going to wrap up with them but he asked if they wanted more questions. He said he had some serious stuff to ask but he was running out of material. The guys said that they had one guy ask them just one question which was ''What's it like?'' Howard wrapped up and let them go a short time later. Howard told Robert to stick around for the rest of the news.
Robin got to her news and read some more various stories she had. Robin read a story about a guy who had been calling hospitals and ordering enemas for patients and then he'd call and ask the patients how they were doing. Howard ended up talking about how his mother used to take his temperature anally and how awful that was. He said it was really embarrassing.
Howard and Robert were wondering how good the security could be at that hospital if a guy can just order an enema. They goofed around with that for a couple of minutes. Howard was pretending to be the guy calling the hospital.
Robin read about how George Steinbrenner possibly being suspended that day. Howard said he doesn't know much about baseball but he read about Don Mattingly being signed and hurting his back and he still gets paid. They spent a short time talking about that as well. Howard was talking about how his father used to talk to him like he was a loser. He said he was kind of right. Howard said he might need a psychiatrist.
Robin read a story about how they've run out of cigarettes over in the Soviet Union. Robin said they're picking up butts off the street to smoke because it's gotten so bad.
Robin read about Paul McCartney finishing up his tour in Chicago. People are wondering if he's going to be doing any more touring after that.
Howard asked Axl what's up these days. Axl said they're working on a new album and just laid down 29 new tracks. He said they're going to put out a 4 box set this time.
Howard asked Axl about what's going on in his marriage and stuff like that. Axl talked to Howard about some of the stuff that's going on. His wife was there so Axl called her over to get on the phone. Howard asked what she was wearing. She had a black evening gown on.
Howard told Axl that Sebastian will steal his wife. Axl said Howard doesn't know how things work. He said if he did it wouldn't be anything personal.
Sebastian brought up the guy, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, on his TV show who blew smoke out of his eyes. He said that was great so he and Axl are trying to do it too. Howard asked if they were watching the show in L.A. Sebastian said he saw it while he was in New York and he just flew out to L.A. a few days before.
Howard said that Sebastian and Axl are living the life. Sebastian told Howard he's living that life too. Howard said his life isn't as crazy as theirs is.
Sebastian called Erin over to talk to Howard. That was Axl's woman. Howard spoke to her for a short time and told her how sweet she looked in Rolling Stone. Howard asked if she was in love. She said that she was. Howard asked her what she was wearing. She said she had a long dress on. Sebastian and Axl were laughing in the background. Howard had asked her if she was wearing a bra and she ran off.
Axl got back on the phone and told Howard about why he had to play one of their songs over and over until he got it just right. That song was November Rain. Axl said that he was going to leave the business if he hadn't been able to get it right.
Howard and Axl talked about some other stuff like tattoos since Howard was thinking about getting one. Axl told him to bring his own needles. He said that's what he does. Howard said Bon Jovi has Superman tattooed on his shoulder and that's just weird. Axl said that Jon is in his on world but that's not a bad thing.
Howard asked Axl and Sebastian to get a guitar and perform something for them. Axl said he had smashed his guitar so he couldn't play it.
Axl asked Howard what was going on in New York. Howard said nothing was going on. Sebastian asked if he had gone to see Aerosmith. Howard said he's too tired to go out to stuff like that. He's up too early in the morning.
Howard wrapped up with Sebastian and Axl and put them on hold to give them the hot line number for the next time they call in. He let them go a short time later.
Robert said he had to get going after that. He had to catch his bus down to Atlantic City. Howard let him go and got back to Robin's news.
Robin had some more about Paul McCartney and his tour. Howard said he'll be back out on the road in no time. Howard said he'd love to be able to go out and hang out with Sebastian and Axl but he really can't do that kind of stuff. He said those guys just don't understand that.
Robin finished up her news a short time later. Howard said it was a packed show today and he had fun talking to Sebastian and Axl. Howard said they had forgotten to get off the air at 10 today. Robin said she was going to say something but it was in the middle of the Axl call. Howard ended the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Pia Lindstrom and how she looks like she got plastic surgery or something. He said her face looks different. Howard said she's been off the air for a few weeks and now she's back looking different. He said he's not sure if she actually did have surgery. He said he's just guessing she did.
Howard said he was watching another news guy who looked like he had a nose job. Howard said there's a guy who does this ''Quiet Storm'' thing on a station there and he knows the guy who originated it. Howard spent a minute talking about that. He explained what the Quiet Storm thing is and how it used to get huge ratings on the radio station while he was doing it. Howard said he thought the guy was a genius. Howard said he read about a guy there in New York who claimed to have created the Quiet Storm and he knows that it was ripped off from this other guy he knew.
Howard said they came up with some good stuff for the show. He said they're going to have some girls come in and sponge bathe each other on the show. Howard said they had some good ratings with the TV show this week and that's what they're going to do to keep it going next week. Howard said he's going to have girls jumping up and down every week from now on.
Howard said they did talk about Jackie and how they hope he works everything out with his mental problems. Howard asked Jackie how old he is. Jackie said he's 42. Howard said he's a little old to be working things out. Howard said they have their own problems but he's not sure that Jackie is as together as Fred is. Howard said they all like Jackie but Jackie is angry with everyone. Howard said a lot of people have come to him about Jackie's attitude. Howard said he's self destructive and he won't recognize anything good about his path in life. He said he's always the victim. Jackie said it sounds like something that you'd read in a horoscope. Howard said he just doesn't get it. Howard said it's the way he comes off to other people that makes it tough. He said that he knows Jackie is a winner but he doesn't come off that way. He said he comes off as a loser.
Howard said Jackie will self destruct in his life no matter what good he has in it. Howard and Jackie went back and forth about that for a short time. Howard said he's run interference for him outside of the show to help him out. Jackie thanked him for that. Howard said it has nothing to do with him. Jackie said he knows he's trying to get him riled up but he doesn't have the energy for that.
Howard said Jackie doesn't like what he's hearing. Jackie said of course he doesn't. Howard said Jackie is a good judge of character but he has some issues. Howard said he will say something to him about someone and he hits it right on the head. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about what a great guy Jackie is. He said he had to take a break after that.
Howard said their K-Rock logo is awful and they should let him redesign it. Howard said he's not sure who is going to wear that awful looking shirt. He said they just need to put K-Rock on the shirt and that's it. He said they can do away with the other crap they put on it.
Howard talked about how bad the audio quality is over at WWOR when they do their Channel 9 TV show. Howard said he wanted to smack people around over the bad audio. He said they had so much static that he couldn't hear Fred's line as Herman Munster. He said it's wild over there.
Howard said they really should let him design the logo for the station. He said you'd think Tom would come to him and ask him to do it. Howard said he likes this WAAF shirt and he'd like something cool like that. He said they seem to think his style is too wild though so that's why they don't come to him.
Howard said the shirts they have are too busy. They should have just one thing on the shirt instead of all of these logos and his name. He said he wants everyone's name off and the dial position off too. Gary told Howard what they have on the shirt and Howard said it's just too much.
Howard said less is more when it comes to a radio station t-shirt. He said it's too much. Program Director Mark Chernoff came in to talk about the shirt and he likes the way it is. Howard gave him some suggestions on how to change it. Mark asked Howard to design it then. Howard said he's tried to in the past but they won't let him do it. Howard said Tom doesn't have a clue there. He said that Peggy doesn't either. He said he doesn't know her from a hole in the wall.
Howard said he won't wear their shirt even though he loves the station. He said he just can't wear it. Howard said they need to smack some people around there. Mark asked who that is. Howard said he's not going to say. He said that if he was the program director he'd have Maria Melito on all day Saturday. He said he likes her. Howard told Mark if he lets him design the shirt then people will wear it. He said he can hear Tom laughing at him already. He said Tom just doesn't get it and he must see that he has a good track record.
Howard said Jackie will wear anything you put on him. He said that you could put crap on a shirt and Jackie would wear it if it was free.
Howard said he's never seen Fred wearing a K-Rock shirt. Fred said that's because they're not attractive. Howard said he knows what he's talking about. He said he'll bring in a prototype shirt tomorrow for him. He said they should be making a shirt that the Doors would be wearing if they're going to play Doors music. Mark said that's a good point. Howard told Mark to think about that when he's designing t-shirts for the station.
Howard told Mark he can be a winner. He said that he can see that snake in his pants. He asked Mark if his wife was scared when she saw him for the first time. Mark told him to stop it. Howard said he's not going to stop it. Howard joked around about that for a minute and then played the Yoko Ono ''People of Earth... How are you?'' clip for Mark's out of this world penis.
Howard spent a few more minutes goofing around about Mark's penis size. Howard asked if his wife was surprised or not. Mark wasn't talking. Howard asked if he needs industrial strength zippers. Mark just laughed. Howard said he had to take a break but he should think about this t-shirt thing. Howard said it's not a joke. He said Tom was laughing at him but he's serious about it. Howard went to break after that.
Rick told Howard that his girlfriend's birthday is coming up and she wanted to talk to him. Howard had him put her on the phone and she asked about the guy who blew smoke out of his eyes. Howard said it sounds like she's been drinking this morning. Howard said it didn't sound like Rick's wife either. This was a new woman and she told Howard that Rick and his wife were no longer together. She was at an event they did though. Howard said he did meet her then.
Howard got back to Rick and asked what happened to his wife. Rick said they were no longer married. He didn't want to get into the details of what happened though. Howard had him put the girlfriend back on the line. She told Howard where they met and things like that. She told Howard she met him like 10-12 years ago and they were friends for years. Howard said it sounds like she's a home wrecker. She said she's not taking that line from him. Rick got back on the line.
Howard asked if she's a home wrecker. Rick said she's not and he didn't want to get into that. Howard told him to put her back on the phone. Howard asked if the wife cheated on him. Rick didn't want to get into it exactly. Howard wanted him to put the girlfriend back on. Rick didn't want to do that but he did put her back on eventually.
Howard asked the girlfriend if she was a home wrecker or not. She said she's not and she didn't want to talk about it. She told Howard she's been a fan of Rick's since she was about 10. She said she was a star herself. Howard didn't know who she was. She said that her band was called Rock. She said she sang in Japanese in the 70s before people would even go over there.
Howard let the girlfriend go and got Rick back on the line. He told Rick he'd talk to him some other time. Howard asked about the divorce and if he had to pay her off. Rick didn't want to talk. Howard let him go a short time later and then went to break.
Gary came in and told Howard he has a guy on the phone who claims to be an ex-employee of Yoko Ono. Howard asked how he knows he really worked for her. Howard picked up on the guy a short time later and asked the guy what his story was. The guy told a story about working for her. He said she doesn't believe in the American Way. He told Howard this story and it was some kind of set up. Gary said the guy will never get his point across. Howard said he isn't making much sense. The guy said he had been trying to get through for weeks and now they won't let him tell his story. Howard told him that he has to just summarize the story.
Howard tried to give the guy some suggestions because he was hard to understand with the heavy accent he had. Howard said it sounds like he just came over on the boat. The caller said that he just woke up.
Howard told the guy he has to sum things up in one or two sentences when he's on the radio. The guy told Howard he's being sued by Yoko. He told Howard what went on and she thinks that they stole some stuff from her when they moved her. Howard said he really doesn't care what happens with that case.
Howard asked what kind of junk this guy was wrapping. He told Howard about the stuff and how she was trying to sell it. Howard said he wouldn't pay 10 cents for all of that crap she has. Howard told the guy to leave him alone. He told him he's forbidden to write to him or listen to the show. He hung up on the guy a short time later.
Howard goofed on Gary and his teeth for a few minutes. Howard wanted to have some people come up and look at their teeth to tell them if Gary's are bigger than everyone else's. Howard said Gary will find 5 people to come in and check out their teeth. Gary said he can play that game. Howard said he's not saying it in a hurtful way, he's trying to be helpful.
After another edited out break Howard had a doctor on the phone to talk about Gary's teeth. It turned out to be a fake. The guy was pretending to be working on someone's teeth while he talked to Howard.
Fred ended up doing an impression of John stuttering. Howard had a little machine that says ''drop dead'' and ''you're an idiot'' among other things. John didn't know what it was so he kept asking what it was. Howard said it's just a little machine. John said he's playing with a toy. Howard said he's making good money doing it too.
Howard got to John's tape and asked what he was doing. John was out at a press conference with Yoko Ono and when he yelled out his question he got escorted out. John said the guy came out and looked like he was going to break his face.
John said people were freaked out by the whole thing. He said the morning zoo guys came over and called him some expletives. Howard and Robin goofed on John about the way he said ''expletives.''
Howard told John what questions he should have asked first. John said that he asked why John had to die when guys like Scott Muni continue to live. That led to Howard going off on Muni for a minute. He said that old load tried to keep people off his show and he doesn't need that kind of crap.
Howard played the audio of John yelling out his question. John asked the Muni question and Howard didn't hear the answer. Scott the Engineer said that the mic was pulled out of the machine so they didn't get it. There were people yelling at John on the tape after he was thrown out. Someone from ABC was asking if he was made to say that by Howard Stern. Howard said that they were holding a phony baloney press conference and they're getting mad at him? He went off on all of the phonies for a minute.
Howard said David Peel was telling him that he thinks John Lennon would be a guest on the show every day if he was still around. Howard said he believes that too.
Howard played more of John's tape where he was defending his comments to people out on the street. John said he thought they were going to come up to him and pop him so he was trying to talk to them instead. Howard said he doesn't have to do that. Howard told John he did a good job... sort of. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Robin read some news about the president and some budget stuff. Howard and Robin talked about that for a few minutes. Howard had some opinions on new taxes. They went to break after that.
After the break Howard said he had some audio of what Yoko said to Stuttering John. Someone called in with it. In the clip Yoko talked about how Scott is a very nice person and everyone has a place in the world. Robin got a laugh out of that. She said she had a good answer so everyone should calm down. Howard said she was whacked out of her skull. He said that she's not the pope so everyone should calm down.
Howard said it's funny because Gary was talking to someone at Strawberry Fields and the guy was acting like she was the pope. Howard said she's just a woman who spread her legs for John Lennon. He said he knows too much useless information about her. He said that he knows her daughter's name and things like that.
Howard talked about how people think that these people are something great but they're really not. He and Robin spent a minute on that.
Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about what was going on over in Israel. Howard said that President Bush is a big pussy about the whole thing.
Robin read through some more stories and what's going on over in Iraq. Robin said that some people have died in training over there. Robin had some audio of some people talking about their family dying over there.
Robin read about the big tribute to John Lennon in Strawberry Fields. Howard played some audio clips of Scott Muni talking at this press conference. Howard goofed on the guy for a short time after playing the clips.
Howard got back to the news with Robin and played more of the press conference stuff. Howard had Steve hang out during all of that. Howard said that he's back with that special brand of humor he has. Howard goofed on Steve a little bit about that.
Howard played more of the Scott Muni and Yoko Ono audio clips. He was goofing on Muni through all of it. Howard talked about Steve's giant watch while they were going through those tapes. Howard goofed on Yoko a little more too. Howard did an impression of Yoko giving her ''People of Earth'' message. He played more of her speech and goofed on her through the whole thing. They took a break a short time later.
After the break Howard talked about Steve telling him about how he went to see Frank Sinatra recently. He got to hang out with him for a short time since he used to work with him. Howard asked who has a better voice, him or Frank. Steve said he does now but Frank is 40 years older than him.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin had some audio from the John Lennon celebration. She had some audio of people singing and things like that. Robin had some audio of Yoko talking about John Lennon too.
Robin read through a few more stories and Howard had some fun goofing on them with Steve. Howard also spent a few minutes talking to Steve about what he's up to. Howard said he had to get going though and didn't have time to stick around and talk to him. Howard and Steve talked about what he's going to be doing and the great deal he has.
Howard talked to Steve about his new home in Las Vegas. Howard said he really has to leave but he would do Steve a favor and talk to Marla. This is the woman who came close to being Miss America. Howard told her that Larry King is an ugly dog. He said that he has never done great with his ratings and he's never been a success. Howard said that this woman is very beautiful and there is no man who wouldn't want to jump into bed with her. She said that Larry was not a kind man. She said she's a fan of Howard's and she would watch his TV show if they had it where she lives.
Marla is working with Steve so Howard told him to stay away from her. Howard asked if she ever saw him on the Ed Sullivan show. She said she did not. Howard asked how many times Steve has hit on her. She said he doesn't do that. Howard spent a few more minutes talking to her before letting her go. He went over the Larry King thing a second time before letting her go.
Howard told Steve he had to get going so he had to wrap up with him too. They spent a little more time talking and Howard asked Robin if she had anymore news. Robin had a couple more stories to go through. She wrapped up a few minutes later. Howard thanked Steve for coming in and ended the show.