For the week of 01/03/2011 to 01/07/2011

• Robin's Thailand Vacation. 01/03/11. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A Chris Rock comedy bit about prison, a ''Tin Men'' movie clip, a Riley Martin song parody, Cyndi Lauper And Jonny Lang performing ''Crossroads'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard and the guys were back live this morning after their 2 week long vacation. Howard started the show talking about how they were there for another 5 years. He said his alarm went off and he thought about how he was out and then how he was back in again. Robin said that they're in it for a whole 5 more years.

  Howard moved on to talk about the stuff they missed while they were away. Howard brought up Rex Ryan and his wife. Robin missed that story because she was out where she didn't have TV. She only heard ''dribs and drabs'' of the story. Howard wondered if it was drips and drabs or dribs. Fred wasn't sure. He didn't know what a ''drab'' was. Howard said the key is finding out what a ''drib'' is first.

  Robin was out in Thailand. She said she loved it. Howard said he thought he'd never see her again. Robin said it was amazing. She said she was doing a detox over there and she was with people from all over the world. Howard asked if they're into fasting there. Robin said they do have a bunch of retreats like that over there. Howard said he figured they'd be scraping around for dribs and drabs of food. Robin said they have monkeys there that fetch coconuts in the trees for them. They teach the monkeys for 2 years to get the coconuts. Howard said that's some life. He said it must be pretty good for the monkey. Robin said that they get to live in the homes with the people. Howard said he'd like to do that job.

  Howard said he pictures Thailand being very disgusting and depressing. Robin said it's really not. She said it was very nice where she went. Howard asked her to tell them about her day. Robin said she didn't get to see the rest of the country. She was just in this one place. She said she did notice that there were a lot of 7-Elevens around when she was on her way to the airport. Howard asked if it was packed. Robin said they only had 59 rooms and they had 70 guests. She said they had colonics, massage and all kinds of doctors there. She said they had different doctors performing stuff there.

  Howard asked who runs the place. Robin said it's a bunch of people. She said they have special chefs and things like that too. She said it was amazing. Howard figured that she was the only one who would get into that kind of thing. Robin said there are people who have been going there for years. She said she saw the staff hugging people who had been there the year before. Some stay there for a month or a more at a time.

  Howard asked Robin if she went to the beach or anything like that. Robin said she didn't get to go. She said it was very busy out there and Judith Regan wasn't able to make it out there. Howard sounded like he was shocked by all of this. He asked if she had bugs in her room. Robin said that it was her own little hut and it was nice. She said she had a bathroom that was kind of outside. Howard asked if she was the only black person there. Robin said she was but they didn't care.

  Howard asked if they wanted to touch her hair. Robin said one of the Thai people did want to do that. She said this one woman asked the nurse about it. Howard said he was kidding. Robin said everybody bows to you in Thailand and they say this one line to you and by the end of the week she was doing it too. Howard wondered if they were impressed with the size of her chest. Robin said they didn't say anything about that. She said they were very sweet people.

  Howard said it must have been very expensive. Robin said she could do nothing for herself because there was so much help there. Robin said that on her way to the airport she saw the ''real'' Thai people. She figured that they hired every good looking Thai person at the resort.

• Howard's Vacation In Parrot Cay. 01/03/11. 6:15am
  Howard said he hates going away and he hates everything. He said he had the worst damn time going away. He said Beth said to him a year ago that they should go away. He said it's always a disaster. He said there's always shit going down and it's not cool. He said they went to this place called Parrot Cay. He said they had to take a boat to the place and he hates boats. He said the wind was blowing in his face and it was like a 40 minute ride. He said it seemed much longer. Howard said the captain told him he had to wait for his crew first. He said it was just him and Beth and he needed a crew. Howard said it was just one fucking kid that came out. He said they were fighting and he figured he was going down. He said the crew got on and he didn't do anything. Howard said he just came on and lectured them on safety. Howard said it was a young black kid. He said everyone was black other than the guests.

  Howard said at this place they had a lot of Asian people. He said he has no idea what the fuck they were. He said he's not sure what culture there is. He said the crew was missing from the boat again when he left. He said that while they were there they were pointing out where everyone was staying. He said they didn't keep any secrets down there. Robin said they were very discrete in Thailand. She said they wouldn't say any names there.

  Howard said they got there and the weather was kind of iffy. He said it was only 3 hours from New York. He said the weather was very windy and they had to bundle up by the pool. The day they were leaving it was 80 degrees and nice. Robin said it was that warm every day in Thailand. Her trip was over 20 hours though. Howard said that's not in his future. He said it sounds like death to him. It was something like Kosomui and rhymed with Baba Booey.

  Howard said that they got to this island and the room they were in was very depressing. He said that his apartment is very nice so he gets to this place and it's just blah. He said that he was right there with Beth in the room and he figured he'd be taking a dump right there. He said that he called the travel agent and asked what he was thinking. He asked if they had any better facilities in that joint. He said the travel agent called and got them set up with something else. Some guy showed up to pack them up and move them. He said the guy would say ''So sorry'' and ''thank you'' over and over.

  Howard said this house became available and the place had a pool and 3 bedrooms and a private beach and more. He said that he got there and Beth got into her bikini and he figured it was going to be really romantic. Howard said he was beside himself with the whole thing. This was all on the first day. He said they finally unpacked after packing and unpacking a few times. Howard said the guy who said ''so sorry'' was helping them out with all of that. He said he was very sorry for everything. Howard said he had a splitting headache after all of this.

  Howard said he and Beth went out on the beach and he told Beth he was all backed up. He said she had her time of the month but she was feeling romantic. He said they were enjoying it out there and he got favors out on the chez lounge. Howard said after their love making they went to their bed and he was getting itchy. He said Beth told him about 10 minutes into his meditation Beth pointed out that they were covered in tiny ants. Howard said they were almost like fish looking and they were swimming over them. Howard said he's never going anywhere again. He said that he asked what the fuck... and wondered what the hell was going on. He said he called the ''So Sorry'' guy and told him about the ants. He was sorry about that. The guy thought they brought food in there. The guy thought maybe she had coffee and they smelled the coffee. Howard said she didn't have it in the bedroom. He asked the guy to take care of it while they were away.

  Howard said they went to dinner and when they came back it smelled like a hospital in the house. He said the smell was weird but they went to sleep. He said he woke up with a massive headache and Beth's glands were swollen. Howard said they went out for the day and every time he gets back to the room he gets a headache.

  Howard said he got back to the bathroom once and the washcloth was covered in ants. He said they were crazy ants. He said he called the So Sorry guy and he said he was sorry again. Howard said this was on day 2. Howard said the guy said he'd get rid of the ants again. He said they went to lunch, came back, and no ants. He said he got to the computer and there were ants on the computer. Howard said you've never seen ants like this. He said they looked like flying fish ants. He said he's never seen anything like it. Howard said they were going to places where there wasn't even food.

  Howard said they came in and got rid of the ants again and he had another headache. Howard said he had no idea what it was. He said he woke up with a bigger headache and Beth's glands were more swollen. He said Beth looked in the garbage where they threw away the insecticide. Howard said he called his travel agent and said he wanted out. He said this was only 3 days into the vacation and he was ready to get the fuck out.

  Howard said his travel agent called and said they wanted to leave but they had 2 days before the next flight. Howard said that the stuff they were using may not be legal in the United States. Howard said that Beth took a picture of this spray. She saw a cute salamander in the bathroom so she asked him to take care of it. Howard said he went to get it off the wall and it was stuck. He said it must have gone through the spray and got stuck. He said that Beth was really upset about it because she liked the little thing.

  Robin said she got to Thailand and the place she was staying at was on a cliff. She said that when she got to her room there was a sitting area. She said you walk down stairs in the room for everything too. Robin said they had the bathroom really closed off. She said she opened it up and it was almost like an outside area. She said they had running water and toilets but it was basically outdoors with a cover on it. She said you have privacy but it's pretty much outdoors. Robin said it was bricked in but the covering was not attached. Robin said that things get inside. She said they had mosquito coils in there and smoke to keep the bugs out. Robin said she felt gross and wanted to run a bath and soak. She said she started the bath and a frog hopped out. She was done after that.

  Howard said he went on a mission to find out if the other guests had ants. He said he asked a British couple if they had any ants. Howard said they even said they were so sorry. He said everyone is sorry there. Howard said the place they were staying were very upset that he was leaving early. They wanted to move them into another place. Howard said they had to pack and unpack again. The place they stayed was nice but the ants were just crawling out of the sink. He said this was only a couple hundred ants. Howard said he was really happy about that. Howard said they were trying to accommodate them but it wasn't relaxing.

  Howard said it was very windy and kind of cold. He said that it wasn't relaxing and he thought he had ants on him wherever they went. Howard said he's sure they were fed up with him because of his complaints. He said the house was full of ants so he's not sure how they can rent it out. Howard said they charged him for staying in that house for two nights but the place should be condemned. Howard said he got bummed out and couldn't want to get out. He said they were there for almost 5 days. He said he was so happy to get home. Howard said he didn't bring his bags into the apartment. He didn't want to bring those ants home with him. He said that he may have discovered a new species down there. He said they were very odd looking.

  Howard said he can't imagine that Bruce Willis lives with those things down there. He said that was some god damn vacation he had.

  Howard said they didn't have any bottled water down there. He said they give you a bottle that you fill with water. He said this traveling isn't for him. He said he can't put up with that kind of stuff. He said he might go back to Mexico instead. Howard said he stopped going because of the kidnapping that was going on. He wanted to find a new place to go and this is what happens.

  Howard said the closer you are to America the worse the weather is going to be. He said that he told Beth that. Howard said Beth got sick of him saying that. He said the weather is very iffy. He said that's what his mother always told him about the Florida weather in winter.

  Howard said they got home and they had Christmas. He said the cats love the tree and he loved just hanging out and doing nothing. He said he played chess and watched movies. He said he loves this country. Howard said they watched a Zach Efron movie and loved it. He said they watched ''Charlie St. Cloud.'' Robin said she saw that and she wasn't able to get through it. Howard liked it. Robin said the movie was stupid. Howard said he saw ''True Grit'' and loved that. Robin said that ''Black Swan'' was very good too.

  Robin said she had Wi-Fi in Thailand. She said she had a TV and she was able to play DVDs on that. She said the whole idea is to not be bothered with that stuff though. She said that she was there to rest and that's what she was trying to do. She talked about going to the steam room and things like that. They had co-ed steam rooms.

  Howard asked if she got any massages. Robin said she had all kids of massages. She had one guy massage her but nothing weird went on. Howard asked if she was there for New Years. Robin said she experienced it twice because she was 12 hours ahead and flew home that day. Howard said it must be 2012 for Robin. Robin laughed and said that's what it was. Howard said it's nice that she had a good vacation and he was miserable.

  Robin got her colonics over here and she said she was doing the ''fill'' like she's talked about before. Howard said he's glad she didn't die having that done over there.

  Robin said she saw a really good movie that she didn't hear anything about. It was called ''The Killer Inside Me'' and it was really good. She said that was a great one. Howard said he liked ''The Town.'' He said it was great. Robin said that ''The Killer Inside'' was really good and Howard has to check it out.

  Howard said he looked at a house on the island he was staying on. He said that it was 9 million and he figured that's because it had no ants.

  advertisement

• Rex Ryan Video Discussed. 01/03/11. 6:45am
  Robin said that she's not sure what went on with Rex Ryan. She said she heard a few things about it but not much. Howard said there's a video out and it shows that this guy really loves his wife if you ask him. He said he had been worshiping his wife's feet or something. Howard played some audio from this video that's out and Rex is speaking and the wife is siting in her car with her feet out the window. Howard said that they're role playing and Rex is a cop and she's just a citizen with her feet hanging out the window. Rex tells her she has really nice feet. Howard said that's really creepy to him. He said he never looks at Beth's feet. He said that he just wants to fuck.

  Howard played bits and pieces of the audio and he'd comment on them as it went along. Rex touches the feet and tells the woman that they feel really good. Howard said this was funny shit. He said that he must love her though so god bless him. Robin said that they could do this without taping it. Howard asked Robin if she would head for the hills if she had a guy into her feet like that. Robin just said ''Oh please...''

  Gary came in and said that they were dying for the Jets to lose this weekend so they could have a headline of ''De-feet-ed.''

  Howard played some more audio from the video and had Rex asking to see the woman's driver's license. Howard said that you'd think she'd just ask him to fuck her and get off of her feet. Robin asked why they had to make a video. Howard said that life was too easy and perfect. They needed a complication. Howard said that he couldn't just coach the team. Howard said that if they posted this on a web site then what the fuck were they thinking? He said that if someone stole it then that's fucked up. Robin said that sometimes these people post that stuff because they think their buddies are into it too and no one else will see it. Howard said he wants to get the other guy from the video who smells her feet. He wondered if that guy fucked her. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard said that this guy is getting off on all of that.

  Howard said he doesn't want to share Beth with anyone else. He wouldn't want to do anything like this. He played more of the audio and the woman is complaining that her feet are itching. JD came in around that time and told Howard that they say on the profile for them that the wife has a hairy pussy. He said he thinks that they may have been looking to hook up with other couples so that's how this video got out.

  Howard said that they have so many good things to do today. He said he has a new call that Sal and Richard did with his Dick Clark impression. He said that's very funny. Howard said that he has to take phone calls too. He said that he's going to end the show around 10 so they're starting news at 9. Howard said they do a 4 hour show so that's enough. Howard said that they do 5 hours and he's not sure why. He said that he should be able to end it at 10. He said he walks around woozy all day long. He went to break after that.

  advertisement

• More Rex Ryan Video Clips. 01/03/11. 7:05am
  After the break Howard came right back and said he had too much to talk about so he didn't have Fred play him in with bits. Howard said he wanted to get back to the Rex Ryan video. He said that a lot of foot porn guys sound the same. He had a clip of another foot porn that sounded very much like this Rex Ryan thing. Howard said that Rex must not have ever thought he'd be the coach. Howard said he was offered a job in a porno establishment when he got out of college but his parents didn't think it would be a good idea. Howard said that football coaches are weird guys so it's not that odd that he's out there doing this. At least he was doing it with his wife. Howard said whatever gets you through the night is fine.

  Benjy said he was reading about the site that the video is on and what they're attributing to him is this quote about what he's looking for from other guys. He said they don't know if that's definitely him though.

  Howard played more of the audio from the video and said that she sounds like she's really into it too. He said she might be creepier than him. He said he's tried to get Beth to do some role playing stuff but she's turned him down. Howard said he'd be creeped out of she was into it.

  JD said that the wife talks about how hot and smelly they are. Howard said guys like that. The wife talks about how she just walked 3 and a half miles and they're smoking hot, sweaty and smelly. Robin said maybe the Jets would be doing better if the coach wasn't so busy with feet. Howard said the wife is like the Meryl Streep of foot fetish videos. He said maybe they could call her Meryl Feet.

  Howard said that there was a press conference and Rex refused to answer any questions. Howard said that he should have embraced it and answered questions. Howard played some of the press conference. They talked about the injuries and how that's all they were going to talk about. The reporters opened up asking about the foot fetish videos. Rex didn't have much to say about that. He said that was a personal matter he wasn't going to discuss. Howard said he finds the whole game creepy so this isn't all that strange to him.

  Howard said the guy should have just said this was his wife and at least he wasn't out fucking around with someone else. Howard said that's how he could have played it.

• New Years Eve Clips And Prank Calls. 01/03/11. 7:15am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been using the Droid app to listen to his show. Howard said that starting today they are on smart phones. He said that they're part of the app for Sirius XM now. Howard said it's great. He said they have to develop a way to make the show on demand. He said he'd like fans to be able to hear the show in a way they can fast forward and rewind. Howard said he told Jeff Shcik to talk to the Research and Development guys. Howard said he wanted to hear some of the show in an on demand way. He said that's the next step. Howard said he's glad to be on the phones now. They worked all of that out in the new contract.

  Howard said he's going to be making some appearances soon. He was going to announce one but he said he has to wait for the host to announce it. Robin said she knows what it is. Howard said he knows she knows. He said that his agent didn't want him mentioning it. Howard said they'll do the interview anywhere he wants to do it. He said they're pretty desperate. Howard said he might do 2 or 3 others. Robin said that should be fun. Howard said it might be fun for her but not for him. Howard said he does enough during the morning and doesn't want to talk the rest of the day.

  Howard said he tried watching a few things on New Years Eve. He said he tried watching Whitney Cummings and Kathy Griffin. He said there wasn't much going on with them. They don't get the guests on those shows. Howard said that Whitney just signed to do a sitcom and it makes him angry to see her on these other shows. He has this feeling that she should only be on his show. Howard said that they had her on first and he gets angry. He's not even sure why. He said he's happy for Whitney. Robin said she saw Lisa Lampanelli on a billboard and it was very strange to see that. Howard said he's happy for her too.

  Howard said that Dick Clark looked very odd. He said that he looked like he had a face lift. Howard said the guy is 80 and he's almost on death's door. He said the guy had a stroke and he shouldn't have a face lift. Howard did his stroked out Dick Clark impression. Then he played a clip from New Years Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark. Howard said that Ryan is so clear and then you hear Dick. Howard said that it's interesting that he seems to be showing off to Dick Clark.

  Howard played more of the audio and goofed on both Ryan and Dick. Howard let the Dick clip play through and goofed on the way he sounded. Robin said that he has a speech therapist and he still doesn't sound any better. Howard said it'll never sound better.

  Howard said that Sal and Richard took his Dick Clark impression and did a ''Jack and Rod'' show bit. He said they get an endless list of authors who want to be on the show so they created this fake show to have them on. Howard said Sal and Richard do a good job with that. Howard said that they should have their own real show on the channels. Howard played the clip and they had this author on the phone and then said they had Dick Clark on the phone. The author said it was his pleasure to hear him. Jack and Rod played Howard's stroked out Dick Clark clips and had him having a conversation with this author. The guy didn't quite hear what he was saying a few times. They kept playing clips of Howard that were unintelligible. The guy seemed to understand some of what he was saying even though no one else did.

  Howard said that was Dick Clark. He had more of him and Ryan counting down on New Years Eve. Howard's impression wasn't far off. Howard said that kids must not know who Dick Clark is. He said that he used to be a professional broadcaster but he's not anymore. Howard said kids must think they can get into broadcasting even with stutters and things like that. Howard played Dick's countdown and it was just awful. Howard said that some day Ryan is going to take that over and it'll be a sad day. Howard said ABC seems to have that locked down and they keep all of the stars to themselves.

• Music Discussions. 01/03/11. 7:35am
  Robin asked what that girl Ke$ha is all about. She said that she's like Lady Gaga but not quite. Robin said she came out looking crazy and she was acting very much like Lady Gaga. Gary said they say that she's like a trashier version of Katy Perry. Howard said he has been listening to Sirius Hits One a lot and they play a lot of her stuff. He said that the song ''Big, Big Bang'' is one that's stuck in his head. Howard said the song is like double entendre and he can't get it out of his head. He said he's not even sure what the name of the song is. Fred was trying to find it but he wasn't having much luck. Howard said they play it so much it must be in the top 5. He looked through his list and it wasn't there. Howard said he just got a note saying it was by Rock Mafia. Fred finally found the song. Howard said that's the song that's stuck in his head. Gary had never heard it before.

  Gary said the song he hates is the remake that the Black Eyed Peas did for ''The Time Of My Life.'' Howard said that he saw the video with Fergie in it and he loves it. He said he thinks she's so sexy and he loves watching her. Gary said that his kids don't know this is an old song and they think it's something new. Howard said he knows that Fergie fucks like a champion. He played the song and started to dance in that very unique way he dances. Howard said he thinks that's good dancing. He said he sees that as being good in his head. He said he calls that ''The Howard.'' Gary said that Fergie doesn't like Howard. Howard said that's because he said that she wasn't a good singer but he was wrong about who he saw singing. He said she sounds good. Howard said he doesn't care if she likes him or not. He likes her anyway.

  Gary said it seems like they'll do any show and they don't turn anything down. Howard said he could watch them anywhere. He said that as long as they have Fergie he'll watch.

• Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/03/11. 7:40am
  Howard said that some comedy writer wrote him a note about working for them. He said the guy wrote a whole script for them with Lisa G in it. Howard said that the whole thing is about Sal trying to find out if Lisa washed her hands after taking a shit. Howard said that the script was really funny. He said he has to call the guy and produce the script. He said it's really good.

  Lisa G came in with her news report so Howard talked to her about this script. He said that she has to do it. Lisa said she's just glad she's regular. She said that she was watching Dr. Oz last night on Oprah's new network. Howard said he heard that people are upset that they have to pay for that channel. Howard said that they thought it was going to be part of basic cable. He said it appears to him that she's not putting any effort into her network. Howard said she just slapped a bunch of things together and that's it.

  Lisa said that the theme of Oprah's network is to have the best life you can. She said all of her producers are afraid to talk to her and they're all overweight so they did a show about that. She said it was great. Robin said that she saw John Travolta on the show and he looks so odd now. She said that he's got that toupee that looks so odd in color. Howard figured he'd look better if he lost that toupee. Robin said he'd have to do more than that.

  Lisa got to her news preview and said that Robin is very busy with her 15 Foundation. She said that they have some events coming up this year. Lisa also said that Regis and Kelly have been looking for a morning co-host and they've named Howard as one of the people they want. Howard said that Chris Booker would like to do that so he's asked him to ask his fans to vote for him. Howard said Chris is siting in L.A. rotting away so they should get him on the show. Howard said he'd like to nominate Eric the Actor but they can't do a write in vote. Howard said Chris would like to do the show so his fans should go vote for him. Howard said Booker wants it and he wants it so go on the Regis and Kelly web site and vote for him (Starting January 10th). Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that and how Booker would be perfect for that. He said he told Booker he'd tell everyone to vote for him.

  Howard said Eric the Actor would be better but whatever. Robin asked where Eric has been. Howard said he can almost promise Robin that he'll be back on the show eventually. Howard said having him on that show would be amazing. He did his Eric impression and had him having a conversation with Kelly Ripa. Howard had Eric talking about watching wrestling and asking guests about it.

  Lisa said they also have a story about Benjy and how he's planning on losing 50 pounds this year. He weighed in at 206 pounds recently. Howard said he read that on Facebook. He said Benjy comes alive on that site and he doesn't understand much of it. He was saying he only wanted black, Hispanic and Asians to comment on his diet. Howard said he doesn't get the joke. Benjy said it wasn't a joke. Howard said that they're starting the year off really well. He told Benjy to try a new shtick and be real. Benjy said maybe he's not into real. Howard said he's gotten nowhere with this humor of his. Benjy said he was just having fun. Howard asked what the fun is. Benjy said he just had fun deleting people who were white. Lisa said she got deleted. Lisa laughed when she said that.

• Holiday Party (And Bubba) Discussions. 01/03/11. 7:50am
  Howard said Benjy's date at the holiday party was normal this year. He said it was very weird. He said she was very pretty and normal. Benjy said last year's was nice too. Howard said he kind of misses the one from last year. He asked how late the party went this year. Benjy said he left when it was still going on. Howard said he snuck out. Robin said she left shortly after Howard did. Howard said he had a good time but he got very tired. He had some drinks and he had to get out of there around 10:30. Robin said she was talking to Jon Hein, JD and Will and she got tired too. She had to get up in the morning and then she found out Howard had left.

  Howard said Ronnie was weird there at the party. He said Beth told him to get up and say a few words. He did that but then Ronnie grabbed the mic and started yelling. He said Ronnie was saying that they don't know what he has to put up with Howard. He said he has nail clippings all over his car. Howard said he's never clipped his nails in the car. He said he had no idea what he was talking about. He said maybe he chewed his nail off once and it ended up on the floor. He said he just wanted that dope to sit down. He said he reminds him of a relative of his that always embarrasses himself like that. Howard said the speech was horrible. It's a good thing he has a sense of humor.

  Gary told Howard that they have the audio of the speech. Doug Goodstein had it. Howard said he told people not to tape anything but Doug got it. He said that he's not sure if he should be angry or happy about that.

  Robin brought up Ronnie's behavior at Bubba's wedding. That led to Howard talking about how Bubba won't be on the air today and he's really bummed out about that. Howard said he's hoping that they can work something out. He said that he's told Bubba to hold on and they'll try to work it out. He said he's holding out some hope that they'll work it out. He's not sure if Bubba is talking to anyone there but he's still talking himself.

  Howard said he was talking to Fred at the party but other people kept coming up to talk to him. He said he really wanted to talk to Fred because he's been his friend for 30 something years. Howard said he started talking to Fred and 2 seconds later he wasn't talking to him. He said that he doesn't know when he'll get the chance to talk to him again. Fred said maybe next Christmas.

  Howard said he went to his parent's house and he wanted to have this conversation with his father. Then his mother said she didn't feel good so she asked for some water. His father had to get water for her and they never got back to this discussion. He said that he wants to talk to the guy but he's not sure if it'll ever happen.

  Howard said he planned to talk to Fred but it's almost impossible. He said he becomes the belle of the ball and he's not sure how that all happened. Howard said he used to sit in a corner by himself.

  Howard said the party was great. He said they had tons of food there. He said he hates when there's no food at a party. He said they had tons of food at this party. He said he had vegetarian table for Robin and others. He said this was all at the restaurant Lore.

  Gary said he ate so much appetizers that he never made it to the buffet. He said it was unbelievable. Gary also told Howard that they had the Ronnie tape to play now.

  Howard said Jackie was at the party and Robin mentioned that he was acting odd. Howard said Jackie showed up with a girlfriend and sat in a booth there at the restaurant. Howard said that Jackie still calls him ''boss.'' Howard said he sat down with Jackie to talk to him and his girlfriend. Jackie asked if she was beautiful and pointed out that he's 62 years old. Howard said they were having a conversation and that was his plan that night. He said Jackie thanked him for sitting down with him. Howard said he makes it feel like he hates him. Howard said it's embarrassing to him to do that. Howard said the guy still has a chip on his shoulder. He said that he was making it seem like he isn't a friend of his. Howard said he invited him to the party and he was saying he didn't expect to be invited. Howard said a Paul McCartney song popped into his head where he sings about how you took your lucky break and broke it in two. He said that Jackie's lucky break was this show and he took it and broke it. It'll never happen again. Howard said he won't work with Jackie ever again. He said that he just won't put up with that anymore. Howard said Jackie blew it. Fred played the song that Howard was talking about. The song was ''Too Many People.'' Howard said you have to wait for those lyrics. Fred threw in some Jackie laughing clips as the song was playing.

• More Bubba Discussions. 01/03/11. 8:10am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to ask about the Bubba schedule but he was also talking about Dick Clark and how his family didn't appreciate his impression of Dick Clark. Howard said that we shouldn't hide away people who have ailments like that but it's tough not to make fun. Howard said it might be time to hang it up. They spent a few minutes talking about that.

  The caller said that he wanted to know what's going on with Bubba. Howard said he doesn't know what's going to happen. He said he told Bubba on Saturday that he loves his show and his whole crew. He said he can't believe that this is happening and Bubba said he wants to stay. Howard said that he's never had another association with a radio guy like Bubba. Howard said that Bubba wasn't able to come to terms with them there. Howard said he would look into it more but as of Saturday he was done with the place. Howard said that made him sad. He said he liked having him part of the channels. He said according to Bubba it's not happening and according to management it's not happening. He said he's still trying to make something happen. He said they'll have to figure out what to do if he's not there anymore.

  The caller asked what they're going to have on today instead of Bubba. Howard said they'll have a Mammary Lane show on instead.

  The caller brought up the History of Howard Stern special that aired while they were away. Howard said they did a great job with all of that. He said that he should thank all of the guys who worked on that. He said they've been working on these specials for 5 years now. The caller asked if he's going to keep people like Stuttering John out of them. Howard said he's part of their history so he wouldn't do that.

  Another caller said that he loved the History too. He said he heard the 9/11 replays and that was really good. Howard said he liked the way they edited it all together. Howard said that it's a spectacular show. Howard said that he's very happy about being on the apps now too. He said that you can get them on Apple, Blackberry and Android apps.

  Robin said that she heard some of the show early this morning where they were playing Booey Maguire and Gary talking about selling his tape to them.

  The caller thanked Howard and Robin for staying on for another 5 years. He said that he has lifetime on his radios so he's thankful for that.

• Howard Attempts To Reason With Riley Martin. 01/03/11. 8:15am
  Howard took a call from Riley Martin who said while they were off having a marvelous time he got a call from Tim Sabean who told him that he was going to be off for 2 weeks and not get paid. Riley said he didn't get paid for 2 weeks. Riley said that he and his grandchildren were playing with a Mr. Potato head that was made of a real potato.

  Howard told Riley that maybe it's time to leave. Howard said that if he's not happy with his pay there then he should go off and do something else. Riley didn't seem to like that suggestion. Howard said the idea of giving him a show is a bit of a goof. Riley kept interrupting. Howard said that they love Riley. Riley cut him off and said ''Bullshit!'' Howard tried to explain more to him about why they keep him there. Howard said they pay Riley but he refuses to get other work so that's why his kids can't eat. Howard said Riley is a way out character. Riley kept interrupting.

  Howard said that Riley came on the show as a way out character. Howard said that they thought it would be fun to have him do an hour show. He said that he heard his show, once, and that was enough. Howard told Riley that he didn't give him this show to turn it into a career. Howard said they gave Riley a shot there with an hour a week and he can do with that what he wants. Riley said that all he's saying is that he understands why Tim won't pay him. Howard said that he is paying him. Riley said that he thought that Howard would have read some of the Tora and not do evil and pay him what he's worth. Howard said he is paying him what he's worth. Howard said he feels he's being paid what he's worth. Howard said this was never meant to be a job for him. He said he gave him an hour a week so he could have some fun and get the word out to the people.

  Howard said that he doesn't listen to Riley's show so he doesn't know if he's doing a good job. He said he guesses that he is. Howard said he worked at a station where he got paid $96 a week. That was his training ground and he never complained about it. Howard said it was a starter job. He said he knew he had to move on. Riley said that he has something there and he's shitting on him like the Jews did in World War II. Howard said that Riley is an anti-Semitic fool. Howard said that Riley just tied in his not getting paid by saying that the Jews deserved the holocaust. Howard said that's anti-Semitism. Riley said that he should be paid some of what he deserves. Robin said he's not an employee. Howard said Riley should look at what he has. He has an opportunity that no one else is giving to him. Riley was just rambling and not listening to what they had to say.

  Howard said this is boring. Riley said that he's not doing this because Howard is Jewish. He said it's because there is a certain way people should act on this planet. He said that Tim is not a bad man and that's what he told his grand kids. Robin said that this is not a job and that's the problem. Riley thinks that the show is a job. Riley said if his show is insignificant then why is he there. Howard said he'd like to know that answer too.

  Riley wasn't letting up so Howard just told Riley what he wanted to hear. He said he would talk to Tim and see what he could do. that seemed to calm Riley down. Riley said that the History of Howard Stern was great and he's glad to have Howard back. Robin said that will keep him quiet for a day. Howard said he just has to give him an answer that he wants. He said you gotta love Riley. He had to go to break after that.

• Ronnie's Holiday Party Speech. 01/03/11. 8:35am
  After the break we heard a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard interviewed an author about aging with Blue Iris playing Barbara Billingsly. Fred also played Kings of Leon's ''Use Somebody'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said that he never did play that Ronnie clip from the party. He spent a minute talking about the song Fred was playing and wondered if they had any other hits. Fred said they had some other hits. Howard said he heard about Lauren Hill doing a concert where she showed up late and then told the people she was worth the wait. Howard said she must be off her rocker.

  Fred played another Kings of Leon song and Howard said it sounded kind of familiar. He said it wasn't that big of a hit. He said they have to get on it and do a sequel to ''Use Somebody.'' Fred said that's going to be tough. Howard said he liked the guys that came in years ago and did that song he liked. That was Hum. They had one hit and that was it. Howard said he thought they were going to have a long career. He said he can't believe that they didn't have another hit. He said they had such an attitude. Howard said they weren't even that good looking but they had that look of guys who would steal a girlfriend. Fred played the song ''Stars'' and Howard was still feeling the power of the song. He said it was a great song.

  Howard said they were talking about the holiday party earlier where Ronnie made a speech while he was drunk. Howard said that he just can't help himself. Howard said he made a heartfelt speech and then Ronnie got up and got into that strip club mode.

  Ronnie came in so Howard said he hates that new moustache look of his. Ronnie said that Howard hates everything about him so who cares. Howard said that Ronnie was trying to be funny and he's not. Ronnie told Howard that he did tell him to make a speech too. Ronnie said Howard asked him to come up with him. Howard said he doesn't remember that and he wasn't drunk. Ronnie said he wasn't drunk either. Howard said this is the most amazing speech. Howard said Ronnie has this whole personality with the strip club thing and he's always got to be the court jester. Howard said the truth came out during this speech.

  Ronnie said he had to help Robin into her car that night because she was so drunk. Robin said that's not true. She said that Ronnie was on the stairs and she wasn't able to get past him.

  Howard played the tape of Ronnie's speech and he starts out with that ''yeah!'' of his. Howard stopped it and analyzed that for a few seconds before moving on. Ronnie goes on to say that he's been with Howard for 25 years now and Howard always farts in the car, he cuts his nails in the car... Howard said he's never cut his nails in the car. Ronnie said he must be making it up. Howard said he may have bitten a nail off once. Ronnie said it must be his persona and he must be making this up. He said it's not every day but once about 6 months ago he may have.

  Howard replayed the start of the speech and Ronnie said he doesn't even get in the car anymore. Howard said that's because he retired Ronnie with his security business. Howard said that he's his only client. Robin was confused. She said that Ronnie doesn't drive but he finds nails? Ronnie said he does drive Howard sometimes. Howard said he has a personality like a mall rat.

  Howard played more of Ronnie's speech and Ronnie was yelling and getting Brian Phelan all riled up. Howard said that they were making noises like caribou. He said it's the mating call of retards. He said it's like the yell of a married guy out for the night. Ronnie points out that Bubba the Love Sponge's wife, Heather, was there. Howard asked if he took her to Rick's. Ronnie said he did not. Howard thought that he took her the next night. Ronnie said he didn't take her anywhere. Howard said that's Mr. Rick's over there.

  Howard played more of the tape and Ronnie was telling everyone to have a good time. Someone pointed out that he's someone's grandpa. Howard said that Ronnie is out of his mind and he must hate him to be saying all of this stuff he's saying. Howard played a song parody with Ronnie's many insults to Howard and others.

  Ronnie said he didn't want to make a speech. He said Howard made him make a speech. Howard said he doesn't like this new moustache. He said it's like a soul patch and a Fu Man Chu look on top. He said he looks like Billy Bob Thornton. He wants to remake True Grit again with Ronnie in it. He told him to get out of there after that. Howard wondered how he makes that noise. Gary said that's how Brian and Ronnie entered his book party.

• Joey Boots ''Booey Bombs'' Three Networks. 01/03/11. 8:55am
  Howard said he has to get to news at 9 so he replayed Sal and Richard's Jack and Rod Show bit where they used clips of him doing his Dick Clark impression.

  After that Howard said Joey Boots was out doing his thing getting ''Baba Booey'' out on 3 networks. He got one with the local ABC station during a live broadcast. He yelled out Baba Booey and something about Shuli. Then Boots went to NY1 and got out another ''Baba Booey'' on their live broadcast. The reporter was doing her thing when Boots yelled out a bunch of ''Baba Booey'' and Howard Stern's penis comments. Boots then moved his way over to WPIX 11 and did the same. Howard said Joey is a mad man. He went to break after that.

  advertisement

• Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/03/11. 9:10am
  After the break we heard the ''Ronnie Mund Cursemaster Jr'' commercial parody. We also heard a clip of Riley Martin reading a bunch of phony names that Sal and Richard sent into his show. Fred played some Paul McCartney as they were coming back.

  Howard came back as the Riley Martin clip was playing. He got a laugh out of the phony names that he was reading. Howard asked Robin to start her news but Robin was wondering why he didn't have Steve Langford in there. Howard said that's why he can't get the show over quick enough.

  Steve came in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Teddy Microphone who kissed High Pitch Mike at the holiday party. They had the picture to show everyone there in the studio. Howard said that was amazing. Steve Brandano and Mike Gange got into a screaming match at the party too. Howard said he sat down and talked to Gange at the party too. He said some people were lucky to have a real conversation with him. He said Gange asked him if he ever gets tired of looking at Beth. Howard told him ''no.''

  Steve said that Jay Thomas showed up to the party with his phone screener and he introduced her as his niece. Howard said he's not inviting Jay to anymore holiday parties. He said he gets the feeling that Jay is angry with him. He said that Jay has a show on Friday mornings there. He said all he gets is smacked in the head by this guy. Howard said it's a small party for the staff and Jay knows that he's not supposed to bring strangers. He said he thinks that there were more people with him. Jon Hein said there were 3 people. Howard said he's asked his staff not to do that and Jay does it and it irritates the fuck out of him. Howard said he's doing his best to piss him off and he's being really nice to the guy. Howard said he doesn't want to be near the guy. He said it's unbelievable because he likes the guy. He said he's like Pat Cooper. Howard said Pat was saying the meanest things about him and his family so he had to stop having him on the show.

  Steve said that the intern said she had a nice time at the party but she was surprised the way Jay introduced her to Howard. Howard said that Jay is trying to prove something. He said that he didn't even hear Jay say it was his niece. Howard said he knows that JD wants to hook up with that chick though. Steve said they did a story about that a year ago. JD said that she won't date anyone she works with. Howard said he doesn't work with her. JD told him to tell her that. Howard said that's bullshit. He asked JD if he believes that. JD said he doesn't know.

  Howard said JD has gotten even bigger. He asked what his resolution is. JD said he doesn't know. He said he'll figure something out. Benjy told JD that some day he could look like him if he works out with him. Howard said he called JD at Christmas because he was alone. JD said he didn't want to talk about that. Howard said his family keeps moving away. JD said he had a good time. He said he watched some TV. Howard said that Celebrity Rehab is great. Robin said that she doesn't know how anyone can be locked up with that Janice Dickinson. She said they're all just crazy. Howard said his favorite is the billionaire kid. Robin said he's strange looking. Howard said they have to give him a radio show. He has the worst comments ever coming out of his mouth. Howard said he's sorry that JD was alone on Christmas. JD said he's fine. Howard told him to lose some weight.

  Steve said that Artichoke Pizza has been getting a lot of visits thanks to High pitch Eric's welcome message on their phones. Steve Grillo and Ivy Supersonic have also staffed the pizza place in recent weeks.

  Steve said that Jeff the Drunk thinks he was scammed by someone who tricked him into thinking he was going to be on a WWE event. Steve also mentioned that they're available on the Sirius apps on most smart phones.

  Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show rundown. He ran through the list of things they'd be covering today.

• Robin's News. 01/03/11. 9:25am
  Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Fred also played some Thai music as she was starting her first story. Robin read a story about Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis doing a lesbian scene in ''Black Swan'' and also that Mila and Macauley Culkin just breaking up. Robin didn't know they were dating. Howard said he made a ton of dough with those movies so he must be just hanging out all day.

  Howard said Spyder Harrison sent him an email about the Big Big Bang song. He said that Spyder told him it was a guy singing the song. Howard said he didn't think it was a girl but Spyder thought he did.

  Robin brought up the new season of The Bachelor. Howard said he's seen a couple of episodes and it's great. He said that show is great and so is Celebrity Rehab. Howard said he loves Beverly Hills Housewives too. Robin said she's tried to watch but she can't stand it. Howard said Camille is the best on the show. Robin said she hasn't even seen her on it. He said ''The Cape'' is good too. He saw a preview of that show. Howard said he still can't believe that Steven Tyler is going to be on American Idol this season.

  Robin said that Paula Abdul has a new show starting this year. They spent a minute talking about that. Howard played some audio of Julie Chen interviewing Paula where she claims that she's intelligent. Paula clams that she's never been drunk in her life and she doesn't use recreational drugs. Her behavior is just her being Paula. Howard said she's loopy and she's got this new dance show coming out. Robin said it's called ''Live to Dance.'' Howard said American Idol revived her from the dead. He said that she should be on Simon Cowell's new show.

  Robin read about how a couple is trying to get the rights to save a placenta so they can harvest stem cells from it if they want to. Robin said they're trying to make sure they get the placenta after the birth of their child. That led to Howard complaining about President Bush coming out against the stem cell research because he claims he spoke to Jesus about it and he was told it was wrong.

  Robin read about how David Arquette has entered rehab. Howard said that he's fine with that. He said he loves the guy and thinks that he's terrific. Howard said he's sorry to hear he's in pain. He said he's a decent man and that's that. Robin said that Courteney is saying she's proud of him for doing that. Howard said that he's seen that she's running around with her co-star so he feels bad for David. He said Courteney should give him another chance.

  Robin said that Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. She's been quoting Gandhi on her Twitter account. Robin read some of the quotes she's been posting.

  Robin read about the Spider-Man play that has injured people. Robin said that one of the main cast has quit after getting a concussion. Robin said she went to see the play and someone got stuck so they had to stop the play. Robin said it's very complicated with people flying around all over. She said the guy who broke his ribs is a stunt man. Howard said he's going to get Sigfried and Roy team up with that so you see someone get mauled or someone break their ribs every night. Robin said the stunt man had back surgery and he wants to go back to work. Robin said the actress left and 4 have been injured. Howard said he wants to get Mel Gibson to do the play.

  Robin read about the NY Giants win and how they're still out of it even though they won. They needed Green Bay to lose to keep them in. She said that the playoffs start next week.

  Howard said that Ford motor company is saying that they're adding the ability to block their content. He said he likes that and he's not sure why everyone thinks that's a negative thing. He said it only adds to their legend and myth to the kids who have never heard the show. Howard said that the news stories are going to make people want to hear the show even more. Robin said that they only mention them in the story but they allow people to block a bunch of channels there.

  Robin read about how Zsa Zsa Gabor is having another leg amputated. Howard said he feels bad about that. He said he remembers her when she was hot. He used to beat off to her when he was a kid. Robin read about how they were taking her leg off below the knee. Robin said that her husband has been talking about it and she had no choice but to undergo that surgery or they would have lost her.

  Robin said that she watched the one woman show that Carrie Fisher did. Howard said he watched that too. He said it was depressing to see her. He said she's all fat now. He said Beth told him to turn it off. Howard said that she talks like a smoker now and she sounds like a man. He said the show wasn't funny. Robin said they did this thing with some snippets from the show and she saw her going to visit her father Eddie Fisher and he looked like a corpse.

  Howard said he was watching a year in review type of thing over vacation and they were going over the people who died last year. He said that the woman in Shields and Yarnel died. He said that they used to do Mime. He said that he didn't know that they had gotten divorced. Robin said that was years ago. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said the chick was kind of cute when she was young. Howard said Michael Jackson got the moon walk from them. Robin said they've been saying that since Michael died. She thought he got it from watching Soul Train.

  Robin read about how a suicidal man was saved by a pile of trash. She said he jumped from a 9th floor window and he landed on the garbage. Robin said that it saved his life.

  Howard read some email about The History of Howard Stern: Act IV. He had an email from a guy who said it was great until Jackie started talking. Another guy corrected Gary about Canada's FCC which is not the CBC but the CRTC. Howard said Gary says a lot of stuff and gets it wrong. Howard said he knew that. Gary said Howard didn't know that. Howard said they have a whole different set of rules up there. Gary said he knew that.

  Robin read a story about how 1000 black birds fell out of the sky in Arkansas. She said they're investigating this now and they don't know what caused it yet. She had some audio of a guy talking about how some they may have been stressed to the point of dying from fireworks being set off. Howard doesn't believe that. Robin said tens of thousands of fish died the day before in the Arkansas river. Robin had audio of the same guy talking about them. Howard did a live commercial and went to break after that.

  After the break Robin got back to her news and read a story about some videos that the commander of a Navy ship made and how upset the Navy is about them. He used some profanity and sexual content. Robin said the Navy is looking down on that. She said that he's going to get into trouble for that.

  Howard said he ran into Maria Menounos recently and she's got a great body. He said he saw her in the paper and her whole vagina is out in this picture. Howard said Mr. Skin sent that to him. He said she's fully shaved. He showed the picture to Robin. Howard said that Mr. Skin calls that a ''lip slip.'' He said he hasn't thought about her in a long time but he's thinking about her now. Howard said if he were a woman he'd do this just to get in the paper once in a while.

  Robin read that Bret Favre is saying that this is his final season in the NFL. Howard said he's done that a bunch of times. Robin said it sounds like it's for real now. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.

  Robin read about some of the most searched topics of the year. She had audio of a woman talking about some of those terms. Robin read about some of the other things that were the most searched of the year. Howard said it's great how you can look that stuff up now. He said he likes to search for people he went to school with who turned out to be ugly. Howard said he looked up this chick he was into in school and now she's a 56 year old, heavy set girl. He said he's lucky he didn't marry her and give her half of his money. He said it feels liberating when you see these women now.

  Robin read about ''Little Fockers'' being number one at the box office this weekend. Robin said that sometimes you get sucked into the sequels even if they don't get good reviews. Howard said that maybe it was good. He didn't see it. Howard said the critics hated it. Robin said that she enjoyed ''Night at the Museum'' and the critics hated that.

  Robin read about a new Nicholas Cage movie and had some audio of an actress talking about working with him. She was very enthusiastic about working with Nick. Howard goofed on her a little bit about how enthusiastic she was. Howard said they have to be that way or you're a dick.

  Robin had some audio of Jeff Bridges talking about the remake of ''True Grit'' that he's in. They played that and then had some audio of Jessica Alba talking about the movie ''Machete'' which just came out on DVD. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.

• Wrap Up Show - Holiday Party. 01/03/11. 10:15am
  Jon and Gary started the show talking about the Bubba situation. Jon and Gary said they have no idea what's going on. Gary said he didn't find out about it until yesterday. Gary said that he sent an email to Brent and Bubba yesterday thanking them for what they've done for him. He said he had no clue what was going on. Jon said they're hoping that things can be worked out and they'll be able to stay.

  Jon also brought up Riley Martin who was saying it was the Jew Devil's fault that he didn't get to work this holiday. They went over some of the other stuff they were going to talk about today.

  Jon said he wanted to talk about the holiday party. He said Howard gave a nice speech and then Ronnie got up and did his thing. Jon said that Ronnie keeps doing this so he's wondering if deep down Ronnie doesn't like Howard. Gary said it is interesting because Ronnie keeps sticking his hand in the fire and keeps doing it. Jon said people love when he gets crazy and he has a good time. Jon said that you think it's a joke but it's hard to tell. Gary said even if Howard said that he should say something, he doesn't have to get up and say the kind of things he does. He said he could have just said something nice.

  Jon asked Benjy if he thinks Ronnie made a mistake. Benjy said he doesn't think so. He said that Ronnie may love and hate Howard. Jon said that he's not sure why he'd have ill feelings toward him. Benjy said that he may not like everything he decides and that can happen when you're close to someone.

  Gary said that there are a bunch of emails going around about Ronnie's new moustache. There are people saying he looks like Goose Gossage or Freddy Mercury.

  Jon asked Gary if Howard wants to have the ''real'' conversations he had at the party. Gary said he thinks that he did. Gary said there were some people there at the party who he wanted to touch base with but then he sits down with Jackie and he feels like a dick. Gary said there's something there that just doesn't let them get along. He said that Jackie always manages to do something that's not right and he's not sure why.

  The guys talked about how Jay Thomas brought his intern with him to the party and he introduced her as his niece. Benjy figured that he was invited with his staff. Gary said he wasn't.

  Ronnie came in so Gary said that he was seeing it for the first time and he did look a little like Goose Gossage. Ronnie said he's not sure what to think about this whole thing. He said Howard did want him to make a speech and he did it and now he's giving him a hard time about it. Ronnie said that was probably part of the whole deal and he wanted him to do what he did.

  Ronnie said that he will ask Howard today if he was really upset. Gary told him to save that conversation for the air. Ronnie said that he could ask him today but maybe he will save it since Howard saves it all for the air too.

  Gary asked Ronnie if Howard really talked to him about going up to make a speech. Ronnie said he really did and he didn't just go up there. Ronnie said Howard must know he's going to get shit out of him so that's why he does that.

  Jon asked if people gave him shit about it today. Ronnie said JD did. Gary said that JD's Achilles heel is his weight. Gary said that 3 hot chicks just walked by and stared at them so they were all stunned.

  Ronnie said he never said anything to JD about his weight but he said something to his moustache. He said that he's laughing his ass off about that. Benjy asked if his moustache affects oral at all. Ronnie said that he'd have to ask the girls.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked what color Ronnie's beard is. Gary said it's kind of grey. Gary said it's best that he's not dying it. Ronnie said that's part of the reason he took it off.

  The caller said he thinks that Ronnie has this hate for Howard because he's married to Beth and he thought he was going to be out partying with him. Ronnie said that's the stupidest theory he's heard. The caller said that he's all upset about being alone when Howard has a wife. Ronnie said that this guy hung on through the whole show earlier and now he's on this show. The caller said that he's a piece of shit. Ronnie said he's a piece of shit. He knows that the guy was on the phone through the whole show earlier. They went back and forth arguing until they went to break.

• Wrap Up Show - JD's Weight Gain. 01/03/11. 10:35am
  After the break Jon asked JD about Ronnie's new look. He asked if he was the first one to see Ronnie's new look. JD said he did see it around 5:30 when he came in. He didn't mention it to Howard. JD said he did mention it later on though. JD said he mentioned it when he gave him the clip. He said Howard agreed that he wanted to know what was going on with that. Ronnie said that doesn't surprise him. He said he doesn't do anything to JD but JD does it to him.

  Jon asked JD if his Achilles Heel is the weight thing. JD said he has a few but today it was the weight. Ronnie started to goof on JD about the way he was stumbling over his words. JD said he knows he's a gotten a little big. He said he was up to 205 today. Gary said he weighs more than him. Gary asked what he weighed when he got there. JD said he has no idea. He said before he started taking his meds he would weigh in around 175. He's been off the meds for a while now though so he's not sure what's going on. JD said he's still eating pretty much the same. He never really exercises though. JD said that he does push-ups and sit-ups and stuff. Benjy said that he has no chin. He said he could get an implant. Gary said he was seeing two chins.

  Ronnie asked why he was shaving now. JD said he can be lazy up to a point. Ronnie had him turn around and JD lost his train of thought for a second when he saw a hot chick walk by in the hall.

  Jon also asked about JD being alone at Christmas. Gary said he didn't know that. He said he would have had him up to his place. JD said he's not comfortable at other people's places. Gary said he knows that. JD said he spent the day watching TV and stuff. He was fine.

  Benjy asked if he got a call from Howard. JD said he got an email from him, not a phone call. JD said that Howard did wish him happy birthday once. His birthday was on December 29th. He said he wanted something emailed to him and he asked about Christmas and stuff.

  Gary asked why Howard called Benjy. Benjy said Howard called him after he blew up at him during the show that one day. He said Howard told him he didn't like the way he handled things.

  Jon asked JD if he spent New Years Eve alone. JD said he did. He said he stayed up and watched some movies and flipped around the New Years Eve shows. Jon also pointed out that he posted on his Twitter that night. JD said he did that too. He told Jon to shut up for some reason.

• Wrap Up Show - Steve Brandano Vs. Mike Gange. 01/03/11. 10:45am
  JD talked about going to the holiday party and how he and Will were goofing around there. He said they just hung out after the party too.

  Jon asked if Gary heard anything about the party. Gary said that he heard about Steve Brandano and Gange arguing. Steve was in the studio so they asked him about that. Steve said that he was wearing a grey suit and Gange was making comments about it. He ignored about 5 of them and then on the 6th he told him to knock it off. He said he told Gange that he doesn't really like him so Gange made another comment. Will started to laugh so he told Gange that Will wasn't laughing at how funny he was. He said he got in his face and told him to walk away because he really doesn't like him. He said Gange kept going so he walked away. Gange wanted to work it out so he sat down with him for like 2 minutes. Gange told him he thinks he's a good kid but he's not a kid. He said he just doesn't like Gange. He said he's done this to him before. He busts his balls about stuff and he doesn't respect him so he doesn't put up with it.

  Steve said that there's noting more insulting than being insulted by Gange. He said that it's because it was Gange busting his balls that made him so nuts.

  Gange called in and said that Steve is acting like a little baby. He said that's the problem there. Gange said he was trying to be adult about it and he doesn't need his shit. Steve said he was minding his own business when Gange was bothering him. Gange said that he should have said something to him before that. Steve said he asked him to stop. Gange said he thought they were friends. He said they were just busting balls. Steve said that it was just Gange busting balls, he wasn't doing anything.

  Steve and Mike went back and forth arguing about the whole thing. Gange said that if he knew Steve didn't like him then he'd stop talking to him at work. He said he doesn't talk to people he doesn't like. Steve said they never talk. Gange said that he talks to him. Jon and Gary let them go at each other for a couple of minutes.

  Mike said that Steve doesn't have to say hi to him if he doesn't like him. He said he doesn't have to be a phony. He'll stay away from him if he doesn't like him.

  Steve said he's just trying to be polite to him at work. He said he's not going to just ignore people there. Gange said that he doesn't have to say a word to him there. He said if he hates him and he's being nice to him then it makes him look like an idiot. They had to take a break in the middle of that argument.

• Wrap Up Show - Brandano Vs. Gange Part 2. 01/03/11. 10:55am
  After the break Jon said that he didn't know all of this was going on at the party. Gary asked Gange if he noticed that Steve was getting mad at him. Gange said he did but he thought they were friends until he blew up. He said that he thought they were just busting balls together. Steve asked how he could think that when he was telling him to stop. He said he wasn't busting his balls, that was a warning. He said Gange is clearly a moron as he's thought for a long time. That made JD laugh.

  Gange said that if he knew he didn't like him then he wouldn't have said anything. Steve said he asked him to stop because he didn't like it and he just kept going.

  Gary said that he's known Mike for a long time and he used to be more mild mannered. Benjy said that he's like Santa and everyone loves him. He said that they don't know him as a supervisor though. Gary said he doesn't supervise Steve. Steve said that he doesn't like getting his balls busted by Gange. He said he's friends with Gary and Jon and they bust his balls. He said he's fine with that because he's friends. Gange isn't a friend. Steve said that he doesn't want to deal with it and he shouldn't have to. Gange said that he'll never say another word to him again. Gange said he's glad because it makes his life so much easier now.

  Shuli asked if they were loaded that night. Steve said he wasn't even drunk that night. They ended the show a short time later... but at 11am instead of Noon. The shortened hours have begun.

• JD's New Hairdo. 01/04/11. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A news report clip about James Brown, Howard and Fred (The Backside Boys) performing ''Backside's Back'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about how much he loves JD. He said he saw he has a new hairdo that was slicked back like Gordon Gecko. Howard said JD just mumbled something when he said that. JD said he slicked it back because it was in his eyes. JD said that it was longer so he grew it out and had to slick it back. Robin said it is a radical look. Howard said that JD would say something to him if he saw him with a new hair cut like that. Howard said he came out of the shower the other day and Beth liked it all slicked back. Howard thinks it shows too much face though so he doesn't keep it.

  Howard said he told JD that he was listening to the Wrap Up Show and they let him give a plug. JD just mumbled something on the show so he told him to slow down so he can hear it. He said JD was saying they rush him through it. He said he was just trying to help him get it out. Howard said he has no idea what he said on the show. He said he was trying to get in a plug for his Twitter account. Howard told him to do it now. JD said he says that he's @JDHarm on Twitter. Howard told him how he could say it so people would understand him. Howard told the guys to pull that clip so he can play it.

  Howard said JD can say it much more clearly so people will understand him. JD just said ''whatever...'' Howard said his name should be ''RRR... twitter.''

  Howard said they were asking JD about his weight being his Achilles heel on the show and JD gave some wacky answer. Howard played some of the audio of that conversation where JD was talking about his weight and barely getting a sentence out. Howard said he loves JD. He said he's not sure what it is. Someone said it's because he's retarded so Howard said maybe that's why he loves him. He must love retarded people. JD is up to 205 pounds. Howard said that's too much for someone his height.

  Howard said Gary's oldest son is 210 pounds and he's 5'11'' but he's a football player. Howard said he can't imagine little Jackson like that. Howard asked Gary if his son could beat him up in a fight. Gary said physically he could. He said he works out 3-4 times a week in the weight room. Howard said that he knew it when he could beat his father. He said that's a really Freudian thing because you think about how you can destroy your father. Howard said he remembers the day he squeezed his father and his father said ''Oww.'' He knew that was when he could take him down. He joked that he realized he could move out of his bedroom into his mom's bedroom so he could take her over from his father.

  Howard asked JD about his hair style and how he does that. JD said that he just combed it back and put a hat on it so it just kind of stays like that. Howard asked JD more about the shampoo he uses and then asked about his Twitter account. He said that he thinks that JD could get his full name on the account. JD said that there are a few people who took his name and pretend to be him. Howard said he can't imagine who is doing that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves JD and the show. Howard said he loves JD too. He wants him on that show. Howard had Fred pretend to be JD giving his plug on the Wrap Up Show. Fred did that and had Howard cracking up. Howard got a note about the guy using JD's name is pretending to be him. JD said he doesn't know who runs Twitter so he doesn't know who to contact about getting his name. Howard said that JD should be JDHarmeyer and not JDHarm. JD said he's trying to get verified on the site but that hasn't happened.

• Sirius XM Apps For Smartphones. 01/04/11. 6:15am
  Howard said that they're available on the smartphone apps now. He said he was talking to his hair stylist Toni who said she loves the app. Howard said she told him that she uses it at the gym. Howard said it's working out. He said he should mention it more. Howard and Robin said they should try it out too. Howard said this is what they've been waiting for.

  Howard said he has an iPad that he doesn't use much. He said he was trying to download some apps but he was looking for some magazines but they're not out there. Howard said he got the NY Post app but it was just pictures.

  Howard asked Gary if he has the app for his phone. Gary said he got it last week. He said it sounds great. Gary told Howard how to find the app and how he can set it up. Gary said it's very simple. Howard said Toni told him that she just gets it right over her phone instead of over Wi-Fi. Howard said he likes that you can put it in your car and listen there.

  Howard said that 99 percent of the apps have no content but they're beautiful. He said he likes that they're on the app now.

  Gary said he has a subscription to Vanity Fair and he has to pay for the app. He said he doesn't understand that. Howard said it may be new development costs or something. Howard said he likes that they're on their app now so they can listen wherever they go. Howard said Beth liked to listen at the gym but she doesn't have to carry an extra device now. Gary said that you can use Wi-Fi or even the phone service. Gary said you can use either one.

• Howard's Diet And Benjy's Gift. 01/04/11. 6:20am
  Howard said he and Beth went out to get some dinner last night. He said he got a turkey burger. He said he used to like having baked potatoes there at work but it turned into a big hassle. Howard said that whole thing was a nightmare.

  Howard got distracted with the JD clip where he rattled off his plug. Howard said he didn't understand it yesterday but he did today. Howard wondered how anyone would understand that.

  Howard got back to the food and said he hates his lunch there every day. He said he would like a microwaved potato with some slices of turkey. He said he has a belly and he wants to get his abs back. Howard said he's 6'5'' tall and he's 197 pounds. He said he's about 10 pounds too heavy. He said he should be about 180-something. Howard said he has a gut and he doesn't look that good. Robin said this is body dysmorphia or something. Howard said it's not. He said he has a roll on his belly that he can't get rid of. He said he might end up looking like a guy who just escaped Auschwitz. He said he barely has any strength already though. He said he's trying to get thin. Howard said he was so hungry last night he was up at 3 in the morning looking for breakfast. He said he gets it at work at 6 and he dreams about it at 3.

  Howard said he was reading Men's Fitness and they were talking about getting a flatter stomach and they talk about how you have to cut out the carbs and run. Howard said he should look like Marky Mark the way he works out. He said he should be super model like at this point. Howard said he puts so much effort into it. He said Pat doesn't want to hear about it. He said he just calls him a pussy and tells him to eat what he wants.

  Howard said people fantasize about his life and this is what he goes through. He gets up at 3 and dreams about food.

  Howard said he was coming back from dinner and saw this guy lurking outside his building. The guy was staring at him and it turned out to be Benjy. He said that he used to think he was weird as a shtick but now he's just thinking he's weird. Robin said Benjy yelled at him outside of her building once.

  Howard said he saw Benjy on a bicycle at about 6 at night. Howard said it was freezing out. He said Benjy was dropping off a gift at his apartment which was lovely but they caught him doing it. Howard said Benjy didn't want them thinking he was stalking them or something.

  Howard said the gift was in a big shopping bag and it was heavy. He said they thought the gift wasn't even for them. He said that Beth was confused because Benjy was riding around on a bike at 6 at night. The bag weighed like 30 pounds and he had no gloves on or anything like that. Howard figured he's so fat that he stays warm. He said it was all very confusing.

  Howard said he works with Benjy every day but he barely knows the guy. He said that they got upstairs and the card was for them. He said it was a beautiful orchid with a glass vase. He said Beth told him that they could have delivered the flowers right from the flower place. Howard asked Benjy why he was delivering it himself. Benjy said he's moonlighting. Howard told him to stop joking. Benjy said this is the third time he's tried to get them to him. He said he tried to do it on Friday but that didn't work so he had to go pick it up himself. He said he brought it because the florist wasn't able to do it yesterday. He wanted to get it there early for them instead of having it show up after 6.

  Howard asked Benjy about how he carried that thing. Benjy said he has a basket on his bike. Benjy thought it was a nice moment for them. Howard said he was happy to see him but it was such a weird thing to see him there on a bicycle carrying this big package. Benjy said that was like the third time he tried to do it. Howard said it was just weird but very nice of him. He said he wrote him a thank you note.

  Howard said he ends up hating his gifts because he has to write these thank you notes. He said he got a gift from a fan and he really isn't looking for gifts. He said his gift is being there with them. Howard said this one guy sent him a Bonsai tree. He said he hates plants. He said Beth wanted to get them for the apartment but he hates them. Howard said they make him sad. They always die. He said a Bonsai tree is going to die. He said it's depressing to have. He said that trees want to be big so let them grow. Howard said the whole thing is weird.

  Howard told Tracy to hold on to that kind of stuff because he doesn't want it at the apartment. Howard said the cleaning woman is taking care of it because he doesn't want that responsibility. He said he thinks that the plants are thirsty and he ends up drowning them. He said he has OCD so he has to water them. He said there's nothing pleasurable about having a plant like that. Then Benjy gave him that orchid. Robin said she has had orchids that keep living. Howard said he thought this thing was going to die. Benjy said these are meant to die. Howard said he doesn't like to take care of anything.

  advertisement

• Howard's Meeting With Tim And Jeff. 01/04/11. 6:35am
  Howard mentioned that when they got to satellite 5 years ago he began to look into who could be on their channels beside them. Howard said that he's having a meeting with Tim Sabean about his dream for the next 5 years. He said they have no money but he has dreams. Howard said Tim was there working on Sunday night. He said the guy is very dedicated.

  Howard said he's meeting with Jeff Shick and Tim. He's talking about the channels and the web site. Howard said he wants Tim on the channel talking to the fans too. He said that he wants him to do ''Ask the Program Director'' with the fans. Howard said Tim is a great cheerleader.

  Howard said the web site is basically just the show rundown. He said he was really into a bulletin board years ago but the people were slandering and libeling each other. He got out of that business. Howard said he's not sure what he wants to do with the web site. Howard said if it's not the greatest web site ever he doesn't want it. He said he doesn't want mediocre. He wants it to be the best thing ever. Howard said his psychiatrist told him he doesn't have to have the greatest ever. He said he could just have some improvements. Howard said he doesn't get that. He said he wants the best. The shrink tells him it doesn't have to be the best though. Howard said he's going to meet with Jeff about all of that. He said Tim was telling him that they should be connected or have synchronicity or something like that. Robin said she knows what he means. They were trying to figure out what Tim was saying. Gary said he was saying that they should be pushing content out. Gary said he was also saying ''integration'' but that wasn't the word Howard was looking for.

• Howard's Childhood Disaster. 01/04/11. 6:40am
  Howard said integration got him into a lot of trouble when he was a kid. He said everyone said they had to live with other people and it didn't work out very well for him. Howard said his mother wanted him to live with the black kids. He did his impression of his mom and dad telling him about how tough it was going to be to move out of that town. Howard said he apologized to his parents for that but he couldn't take it anymore. Howard said he was so excited to get out of Roosevelt. He said his mother's friends would come to his mother and tell her how much they wanted them to stay. Howard said he wanted out. He said it was a whole scene there when they were leaving. Howard said he had to get the fuck out of there and didn't want to know anyone.

  Howard said he moved into the other neighborhood and he was a mutant there. That's why he started doing drugs. He said he started to mature and he started to look odd. He said he had never seen anything like that. He said the whole thing was horrible. His face changed and he was just a mess. Howard said white people had never seen anything like that. He's had it, the whole thing has been a nightmare. He said he's not sure how anybody enjoys this.

  Howard said his mother loves going to black neighborhoods. He said she's like one of those white women that only bangs black guys. He said they ended up getting the house they got after going to look in Merrick and other places on Long Island. Howard said all of his friends lived there. He said his mother told him that the houses were too expensive there. He said they didn't like the size of the houses either. He said they went to Rockville Centre and they found a place there that was decent. He said the house didn't need any work and it was on an oversized lot. Howard said he had never heard of it before they moved there.

  Howard said that he went to school for the first time and the guidance counselor told his mom that he'd have a D average. Howard said everyone hated him at school there. He hated living there. He gave Rockville Centre a big ''fuck you!'' He said he got into that car pool for school and some of the kids were kind of cool but they never spoke to him. Howard said he was the new kid and no one would talk to him or his mother. He said that his mother would lecture him about how horrible the boys were. He said they needed to do the car pool thing. Howard said he dreaded it every morning. Howard said no one would talk to each other. He said they were all vomits all the time. His mother would ask what was wrong with those boys. Howard said they were disrespecting his mom and she'd complain to him about it. He told her he had no idea why they were the way they were.

  Howard said he used to go to an AZA thing with some other kids. He said that it turned out he was beneath them. He said that he thought he was a great guy but no one recognized that. Howard said he didn't look that good and the whole thing was a disaster. He said he tried to turn to the Jewish kids but that didn't work. He was in the JDL (Jewish Defense League) and he went to a meeting and this guy had an eye patch on. He said he knew a couple of the kids there. The guy with the patch took out a gun and he started the meeting. He said that he said ''never again will we get in trouble...'' Howard said he thinks he meant the Holocaust. Howard said the guy said they had to go protect a temple and he was like ''What!?'' He said they had to go stand guard at a temple. He said he figured he was going to end up in jail even if he didn't do anything wrong. Howard said he had to get out of that group.

  Howard said he had a friend who was ready to kill someone. He said they were fucking crazy. He said he snuck off from the temple in the middle of the night. Fred played some burning out car sounds as Howard was talking about that. Howard said he didn't even like going to temple. He said he wasn't going to protect it. He said his whole Bar Mitzvah was a nightmare. That led to him talking about how he should have taken guitar lessons instead of learning all of that.

  Howard said he knows everything about Jewish history because he had to study so much. He said he had his girlfriend at the Bar Mitzvah. He said he had to sing that song there. He has tape of that song actually. He told Fred it should be in the system. Howard said the song goes on for like 4 hours. He explained to Robin how the language works and how confusing it is.

  Gary told Howard where the tape of that song was. Howard played the song and it was just the opening the song he was talking about. He said he sounds like a woman in that clip. He said he sounds look that guy in that song he played yesterday, that ''Big Bang'' song. Fred played that over the other tape. Howard told Fred to turn that shit off. Howard had to get out of the time machine.

• R.I.P. Neil Rogers. 01/04/11. 7:00am
  Howard said he was talking about the channels and how he thought about who he wanted on his channels there. He said there was this guy Neil Rogers that he enjoyed. He said he wanted to bring him there and they had no money to do it. Howard said the guy was open to them replaying his show there on Howard 101. Howard said he had a price that looked reasonable to him. He said that it wasn't reasonable to management. Howard said it turns out the guy just died. He said he was sad to read that. He said that he never got to meet the guy. He said he just died 8 days ago and he was only in his 60s. Fred said he was 68. Howard said he was very popular in Miami and he thought it would have been cool to bring it to people around the country. He was sorry to hear about him. He said he's sorry he didn't get to bring him there too.
  advertisement

• Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/04/11. 7:10am
  After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a guy named Ralph using John the Stutterer audio clips. Fred also played the Rolling Stones ''Street Fighting Man'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said they have a story about Tim James whose song has been playing in Howard's head non-stop. That's the song that they played yesterday by Rock Mafia. Lisa said they interviewed Tim about the song and he said he wrote the song in 15 minutes. Howard said he believes that. Lisa said he also said that it's about those moments in life when you never forget. Howard said he likes it and it's very catchy. Lisa said she loves it. Howard had Fred play some of the song. Howard said someone wrote a song parody for Robin to the tune of that song. He said it didn't really work very well. Gary said they took it down but he'll put it back up.

  Lisa told Howard more about Tim and how he's worked with Miley Cyrus and how he thinks she might come on the show. Howard said he'd like to have her on and get her on the Sybian. He said he was serious about the interview. He said he'd like to talk to her. He's sure that her father pushed her into a lot of stuff.

  Howard played the song parody about Robin to the tune of that song. Howard said he might like that song now. He didn't like it earlier but changed his mind. Howard said that was by Psych. He said he had heard about 20 parodies in a row and it got mixed in there. He said that he heard like 50 of them and they were all off the computer. Gary thought Howard wanted them off the system. Howard told Gary to turn off his mic because he was annoying him.

  Howard had a few more songs to play. He played a Little Mikey song parody. Howard said he liked that one too. He told Gary to put that Psych song back into the system too. He had another Little Mikey song that he got a laugh out of. Howard said that guy is so talented with those lyrics. He aid he'd like to be there when he records those songs. He said Howard TV should be doing a special. Doug said they could shoot it but they wouldn't be able to clear the songs. Howard told him to shoot it for his personal use. Howard said he'd like to see that process.

  Howard played another Little Mikey song parody that was also about Robin. Mikey has non-stop Robin parodies. Howard went through a couple more but he said he had to stop because that's what was driving him nuts.

  Lisa said they spoke to Chris Booker about running for the morning show spot on Regis and Kelly. Howard said Booker asked him to ask the fans to vote for him. He said he isn't throwing his support behind him. Howard said that Chris is working out in Los Angeles now. He's working for this Kevin Weatherly guy who has run a bunch of successful stations. Howard said he doesn't know how anyone does that job as program director. He said it's a tough job. Howard said that he was a P.D. for a while and he didn't have any idea what he was doing. He didn't really care either. During that discussion he mentioned that he was playing Dan Fogelberg songs. They spent a minute talking about how he died from prostate cancer. Howard said that's the worst thing to get. He said that prostate cancer ruins your hard on. He said that life is a bitch and said ''fuck you cancer.'' Howard said he hopes that they can help people out with stem cell research. That led to Howard talking about how small his penis is. He said that it's literally a half inch flaccid and it grows to a full 6 when he's hard. He said he's been measured so he knows. Howard said he looked in the mirror this morning and he had bags under his eyes. He said that he has really bad lighting in his apartment. He said it's probably just his face but he blames it on the lighting. Howard said his lighting guy must think he's nuts complaining about it. Howard said he's given up on the lighting. He said he looks at them and he sees that he looks like a monster. Lisa told him he looks great. Howard said he really doesn't. He said she should come and see him in the mirror at his apartment.

  Howard got back to Booker and said Booker is working or Kevin Weatherly and he has a good job but he's thinking ahead. He's 40-something years old and he's still spinning records. Howard said Booker thinks that he should be doing TV. Regis and Kelly are having a DJ contest where they're going to let one DJ sit in on the show. Howard said he and Robin know about it but they'd never do that. Booker is willing to do that so he wants the listeners to vote for him. Howard said he's willing to do that but the voting doesn't start until next week. He said he hopes that the fans vote for Booker but he doesn't think that anyone who has won that thing has gone anywhere.

  Lisa said that one of the DJs there is looking for votes too. Howard said he can't do more than one. Lisa said his name is Rich Davis who is on in the morning. Howard said that's the guy that does Rich and Covino. Lisa said he has a lot of jobs there. Howard said he must be Jamaican. Howard asked if he has the same personality he has in the morning when he does the afternoon thing. Lisa said it's similar. Howard said the guy is probably making no money too. He said he might have to push for him too. Lisa said that Mark Goodman is up for that too. Howard said Mark had his chance but it's over for him. He said he had his shot on MTV and if something was going to happen for him it would have happened already.

  Gary told Howard that Mark is actually 2 years older than Howard. He said he looks good though. Howard said he loves the guy but it's too late for him. Howard said he thinks that Rich Davis works with Mark on another show there too. Howard said that he'll help Rich out and give him a plug. Robin said Booker has their first vote. Howard said he hopes that Booker gets something out of this. He doesn't want him to stop getting calls after he gets the gig.

• Kathie Lee's Train Wreck Segment. 01/04/11. 7:35am
  Howard said that Kelly Ripa is looking good. He said she hurt herself running and she's on two canes now. He said her hips are fucked up. Howard said this Kathie Lee has his attention again. He said he saw something over vacation and she's really got to be the world's dumbest person. He said she wants to be this great Christian woman and you know something is wrong right there. Howard said he wanted to leave her alone but he can't avoid talking about this.

  Howard said Kathie Lee announced she wanted to bring out a good Samaritan from her audience. Howard said she does this during the last hour of the Today show. Howard said this singer was going to sing a song to the person. Kathie Lee had this woman come out who said that her son is a star athlete in high school and he's going to Harvard and all of this. Howard said the woman said that her son saw a kid siting at a table in the cafeteria all alone. Her son went over to this boy and he sat at the table and decided to be the kid's friend. Howard said Kathie Lee brought out the good looking kid and this mess of a kid that he befriended. The kid was autistic. They started praising this kid for how wonderful he is. Howard said Kathie Lee wrote a song about it and she had an opera singer sing it. Howard said this was wrong on 50 different levels.

  Howard said they had this kid crying on the show and Kathie Lee said she thought the kid was moved. She thought it was her music moving the kid. Howard said this was the biggest train wreck of all time. He said this kid was being shown as a loser on TV. He said this was the most horrible thing you could do to a child. He said that no one wanted to sit with him and he wouldn't want to be on TV. He had the audio of the song to play too. He played the song and it was all about this poor kid that she was embarrassing on the show. The woman was singing about how we see these kids every day and we avoid them. Howard said this was so horrible on every level. He said he wanted to rip his TV apart when he saw this.

  Howard said this whole thing made him so angry. He said he didn't get why the mom would let her son go through it. She was sitting right there watching. Howard said that this is probably going to damage the kid. Howard played the audio of Kathie Lee talking to the kid after the song and the kid said it was a little too sad. Howard said the kid was trying to tell her that it wasn't his life ''you fucking cunt.'' Howard said that Kathie Lee and the crew were all laughing at the kid when he said that. Kathie Lee said they'd jazz it up a little for him. Howard said it's unbelievable. He said that she should write a song about Frank cheating on her. Howard came up with some lyrics for a song like that. Howard sang about Frank going to a hotel to get anal from a stewardess and things like that. He sang about how Kathie Lee smelled the strange pussy juice on his lips. Robin said she thinks that Howard captured the story. Howard said that was some nice piano in that song.

  Howard played the Kathie Lee song again and said that they should be sure to get a close up on the kid's face. He said that they could have just sang about the kid being an ugly little troll. In the clip Kathie Lee said that they were hoping to capture the moment in the song. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with her. He said they should eliminate that segment. He asked Jon Hein if it's doing well in the ratings. He said that they must have gotten letters about how wrong that was. Jon Hein said they get about a 1 rating. Howard said that's not very good. Jon said it's good enough to keep them on the air. Jon said the clip is up on NBC.com. JD came in and said you can search ''Everyone has a story'' on Google or go on Kathie Lee's web site to see it.

  Howard said he shouldn't have gotten sucked into that. He said Beth is to blame because she was the one watching the show. She noticed how angry he got over it. He said maybe he's wrong. Robin said he's not wrong. She said that she's writing that song from the point of view of a person who would never go over to that kid. She's the person who would never walk over.

  Lisa G got back to her news preview and said that Eric the Actor has said that his new year's resolution is to not call into the show anymore. Eric says he is ignoring the pleas for him to call in. Howard said he heard Shuli's report about Eric and it was kind of fun to hear Eric. He said he had no resolutions other than not to call into the show. Howard said that's pretty pathetic. Howard said that Eric will be calling them. He can't stay away. Robin said he hasn't been able to in all these years.

  Howard said he wants to like Kathie Lee but it's very hard. JD came in with another Kathie Lee song that was about Frank cheating on her. Howard played the song and said that all of her songs sound he same. Howard said he can't just sit by when he sees this shit. He can't give up. He said someone has to tell her that it's wrong. He said that's his role in life. Everyone else shuts their mouth. He played more of her song and said that he likes Kelly Ripa because she's sweet and doesn't do stuff like this. Howard said Kathie Lee just does things wrong. Howard made up his own lyrics to her song in the middle of it. He sang about why Frank may have cheated on her. Howard played more of her song and goofed on her some more.

  Gary told Howard that Kathie Lee has a bunch of CDs out. Howard guessed there were 23. Robin guessed 12. There were 10. Gary said he thinks that they're all on her own label. Robin said of course they are. No one else is going to put that out. Howard said he had to take a break. Robin said this was the first Kathie Lee segment in a long time. Howard said she hates him. Robin said she can't imagine why. Howard said he doesn't watch that show that much. He said he just happened to see it during vacation. Howard said he would never bring a kid in and goof on him like that. He said they make fun of people and don't disguise it like they did. Howard said they're not as bad as Kathie Lee. Howard said maybe they should have a contest where they find the fattest, ugliest junior high student. He said he would never do something like that. They went to break after that.

  advertisement

• Brandano Vs. Gange. 01/04/11. 8:15am
  After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a guy using Mel Gibson audio clips. Fred also played Beck's ''Loser'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said that Steve Brandano and Mike Gange were going at each other on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Howard said Steve has a lot of thoughts about people. He said that Steve doesn't want to be ridiculed by Gange for some reason. He thought it was interesting and he never knows about these fights. He said they always have something good come out of the holiday party.

  Steve came in and said that he doesn't like Gange and he hasn't liked him since Will's wedding. He said at the wedding they were the only single guys there. Steve said they never really talked before that. Steve said he didn't have a relationship with him at the time either. Steve said they went out drinking and Gange was going at him like he was going to pick up women and he was getting on him about that. Gange was in too and asking ''What?'' like he had no idea what he was talking about.

  Howard had an idea of what Steve was talking about because Gange used to tell him he wanted to get Tori Spelling. Steve said that Gange was making fun of him and he's 13 years older than him. He said he didn't get why he was making fun of him. Gange said the Tori Spelling thing was a goof 15 years ago. He said he doesn't do that kind of stuff now.

  Steve said that Gange was goofing on him about the suit he was wearing and how he looked like Pee Wee Herman. Gange said that he and Will were just goofing around. Steve said he goofs on people he likes and he doesn't like Gange. Gange said he didn't know that at the time. He said he didn't even know he was being serious.

  Gange said he should be pissed at Steve. He said that he gets really angry when he's drunk. Gange said they were shooting this beer pong show and he had to stop production and Steve blew up. Steve said they got there at 11 in the morning and they didn't get started until 3. He said it was 6:30 at this time Gange was talking about. Steve said he and Will really cared because they were in it to win. He said they wanted to finish the game. Howard had tape of the taping.

  Howard played the clip and Steve yelled at Gange for being a fucking dick and went off on him for some unknown reason. Steve was yelling at Gange and everyone was asking what was going on. Gange said that he almost punched him that day. He said he didn't even argue with him that day.

  Steve said that he and Gange can get along except when Gange is calling him Pee Wee Herman. Steve said he admits that he looks like him but he doesn't like hearing it from someone he doesn't like. Steve said that Will knows how much he dislikes Gange so he knows that he's going to blow up if that whole thing keeps going. That's why Will was egging him on.

  Gary said that he heard more about the beer pong game and how Steve had a shirt with a logo on it so they had to send him out to get a new shirt and he missed out on a Penthouse shoot while he was gone. Howard said that they don't have to block out logos on their shirts. He asked Gange why they can't do that. Gange said the products may not want to be represented by the show so they have to block them out. Howard said he wants people wearing logos on the shows. He said that they put out logos and they get angry when they put that shit on TV. He said that from now on he wants them wearing Bob Jones University shirts. He wants to see them sue.

  Gange said he still doesn't understand why Steve doesn't like him. Steve said that they've only hung out 3 times and it was miserable every time. Steve said that he doesn't want to get into it when they're together so he tries to stay away. Steve said he's never around Gange but he rubs him the wrong way. Steve said if you're going to bust someone's balls you should be friends with them first. He said they're not friends. Gange said he assumed they were and he's sorry.

  Howard said if there were chicks around then it would be even worse. Gange said there were no girls around. Howard said he's still trying to figure out if he likes Gange or not. Mike said he can deal with Steve for work but he won't go out of his way to say hi to him in the hall. Steve doesn't seem to care.

  Howard said he thinks there's a Gange song parody on this. Gary said it wasn't about this but there is a parody. Howard played the song which was to the tune of the Rolling Stones ''Angie.'' Howard was bored by it. He said the best part was where they sang ''Gange.''

  Howard said he heard that Steve hates a lot of people there. Gange said he heard that he hates Richie Wilson. Steve said that's not true and he just partied with him recently. Howard asked if he hates Steve Langford or Gange more. Steve said he hates Steve Langford more. He said Steve has no soul. Howard asked if he hates Lisa G. Steve said she's harmless and he doesn't hate her. He used to dislike Sal. Steve said that Sal would ask him how his weekend was and he would walk away as he was telling him. He said they're fine now though.

  Howard said he and Gange had a nice talk at the party. He said that they talked about how hot Beth is. Howard said he never gets tired of looking at her. He said he likes that she gets dressed up in outfits and stuff.

• Howard To Appear On Piers Morgan's New Show. 01/04/11. 8:35am
  Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he's in talks to do Piers Morgan's show. Howard said he has so much information going on in his head. He said that he's not sure if he's supposed to talk about this or not. Howard said he scheduled an interview with ''someone'' but they wanted to announce it themselves. He said that it is Piers Morgan and fuck it... he's going to talk about it. Howard said he's supposed to have a press conference about it and they wanted to announce it themselves. Howard said he's not sure why it's a big secret. He said no one is going to watch it anyway.

  Robin said he should go on Kathie Lee's show. Howard said that he would do that. He said Kathie Lee would never allow that. Howard said that Piers is willing to tape an interview anywhere so he's going to do it. He said that he'll do it there in Manhattan. He said he used to like being interviewed but he doesn't like it anymore. Howard said he likes being asked to do it though.

  Bobo asked if he would do it there in the Fishbowl studio there at Sirius. Howard said that would be kind of cool if they did that. Howard said he's not going to do it but it wasn't a bad idea. Howard said he doesn't think he was supposed to announce it. He can't remember.

• 60 Minutes Autobiographical Memory Segment. 01/04/11. 8:40am
  Howard said there was a segment on 60 Minutes and they had these 6 people who have an Autobiographical Memory. He said Marilu Henner is one of them. These people can remember everything that happened to them on any day of their life. Howard said they can even test them and throw out a date. Howard said that they'll know what day of the week it was and what happened. He said it was pretty impressive. Howard said he has no memory like that at all.

  Howard played some of Kathie Lee's song that he played earlier. He was saying that the other 5 people in the group looked like the kid that Kathie Lee wrote the song for.

  Howard said that this is a tremendous ability and it's fantastic. Howard had some clips to play from the show. He played a clip where some of the people were being asked about what days it rained on in certain years. They were able to remember the rain days in the years they were asked about.

  Howard said he doesn't even know today's date. Robin told him what it was and then gave him a date from 1963. Howard said Robin can't even remember what news she did yesterday. Robin said that's right. Robin said that this could be a bad thing. She said that if you do remember then you don't embellish. She said that it would be less entertaining if Howard knew exactly what happened. She said he probably wasn't even bothered in Roosevelt.

  Howard played some more of Marilu Henner and then wondered why she didn't bring it up in her interview. Howard said that she's tried to get on the show 15 times and now he has to have her on the show. Howard said if he knew this he would have had her on.

  Howard played anther clip of this guy who remembered Redskins games when he was asked about them. He knew everything he was asked about the team. Howard said he would probably remember every time Kathie Lee wrote a shitty song.

  Howard tried to remember the day Gary threw his pitch. He thought it was May 11, 2009. It was actually May 9. Sal had sent Howard a note that had the wrong info. He was going by the date of the article he had.

  Howard played a little more from 60 Minutes where they had these people talking about their amazing memories.

• McCartney Concert Discussions. 01/04/11. 8:50am
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked about his new hours and if they're going to be doing more specials. Howard said they are going to do more specials. The caller said he liked the Ralph special and he would like to hear more of that.

  Howard said that Ralph was supposed to come over yesterday but he wasn't coming back until Wednesday. He said that he has one day a week he has to work with him and he's not at work. Howard said he guessed he was claiming that there was no Howard TV deal in place at the time. The said that he thinks the guy is full of it. Howard agreed.

  The caller said he got into the Paul McCartney concert and he tried asking Jared if he could come up there to say hi. He said that he didn't get to say hello to Howard. Howard said he would have liked to have said hello.

  Howard said he saw that there was one chick who said she was sat in the front row because she was hot. Howard said he didn't think Paul was that kind of guy. Howard said he thinks he'd want to see hot chicks in the front row though. Robin said she thinks that Paul didn't want to come out and look at a bunch of corporate guys. She said that Paul wanted to see fans and not a bunch of suits. The caller, Mark, said he got to hang out with a bunch of celebrities there.

  Mark said he saw Howard from a distance and he thinks that he looks fine compared to the other celebrities there. He said they don't age very well. Howard said he was excited to see those people too.

  Robin read that Stephen Baldwin was suing Kevin Costner. Howard said that he wants to talk about that during the news. He thought about it and then said that he'd like to get Stephen on the phone for tomorrow. They went to break after that.

  advertisement

• Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/04/11. 9:05am
  After the break Howard came right back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Robin getting pulled over by a cop in Arizona for going 96 in a 75. Robin said she has no idea what Steve is talking about. Steve said Robin has a ticket she could show them. Robin said that she might have a ticket. She was in ''some SUV'' when she was pulled over. Howard said that she always has a problem. Robin said she wasn't upset when she got pulled over. Steve said she was upset talking to them. Robin said they had cameras at her door yesterday.

  Steve said that they were tipped off by someone so someone knew who Robin was. Robin said she doesn't think the cop knew who she was but there were only two people involved, her and the cop, so it must have been him. Howard said she was busted. Robin said that's right. Robin said the cop did tell her she'd have to take a safety course online. She said that she knows that she has to slow down. Steve said she could have had her license suspended over that speed.

  Steve said that Jon and Gary are heading out to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics show this weekend. They're going to be staying in the same hotel. Not in the same room. Jon said that they're going to the show and he's hosting two events out there. Howard didn't know that he was hosting too. Jon said he is. Gary is doing a Rick's appearance on Saturday night. Robin asked if DePace is going too. Scott said he is not going.

  Steve said that David Arquette was out recently shortly before he want into rehab. They ran into him and he was looking kind of sad. Howard said he feels bad for David. He said he's going off the deep end. He should be having the time of his life. Howard said he should hook up with someone super hot and get over that shit. He said he'd love for him to hook up with Lindsay Lohan so he could bring her on the show. Howard said he should hook up with someone who drives fast. Robin laughed.

  Steve got in some plugs for Jackie the Joke Man and Riley Martin's shows that are on tonight at 7 and Midnight.

  Jon Hein ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show after that. They played the Kathie Lee song again during the rundown.

• Robin's News. 01/04/11. 9:15am
  Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a Psych song parody. Robin started her news with a story about Ann Francis dying. That was another person that Howard beat off to. Howard said she was on a show called Honey West that he liked. He said his mom got him the Honey West book and he remembers beating off to the picture of her topless in the book but it wasn't Ann Francis. He said that Ann was hot though and he used to beat off to her on TV. He said that he was so turned on by her. He said she was like James Bond. He used to beat off to Ginger from Gilligan's Island too. He said that it was Ginger and Honey West. Howard said Ann Francis died from cancer. Howard said he wishes he had gotten to know her.

  Robin read about Zsa Zsa Gabor getting her leg amputated. Howard said that things are getting bad. The hot chicks he was beating off too are dying and getting limbs chopped off. Howard said he'd like to know what they do with the limbs. Robin said they never do say what they do with them. Howard said a leg is a major part of your body. He'd like to know what they do with them.

  Robin read about Pete Postlethwaite passing away. Howard didn't know who he was until some people told him about the parts he played recently. He said the guy was really good in ''The Town.'' Robin had some movie clips that she played from ''The Town.''

  Howard read some email from some fans who were writing in about the Sirius XM app and how great it is to be able to hear the show. Another person wrote that the Canadians have the app up there even though Langford reported they don't. Howard read some feedback about the ants and how they should animate that discussion for Howard TV. Howard said there was some feedback about ''Dribs and Drabs'' that they were discussing yesterday. Howard said the origin isn't understandable. Howard said that you don't have to worry about it.

  Robin read that the Megamillions jackpot is $300 million. Howard said he would never buy a ticket. He said that he used to but he never won a thing. Howard said that you're not going to win, save your money.

  Robin read about how Brett Favre is being sued by a couple of massage therapists. Howard went off on the guy for a couple of minutes about what a scumbag he is treating women the way he does. Howard said he hopes he has a daughter who gets harassed by someone like he did with these girls. He said that masseuses aren't turned on by these guys. They're disgusted by them.

  Robin read a story about Oprah's new network the OWN network. They got good ratings the first day. Howard said of course they did. It was their first day. Robin said that it's not near her 6 million viewers she gets with her daily talk show. Robin said it was in the top 25 networks though. Howard said he can imagine how many masseuses threw up on Oprah.

  Robin read about The Bachelor and said she missed the episode. Howard said she can get it right on ABC's web site. Robin said she can do that. They spent a short time talking about this new season and how so many of the women hate this guy. Howard said that the guy went into therapy and he thinks he's a bad guy. Howard talked about some of the stuff he's seen in the previews he got for the show. Howard said he thinks that he missed a Celebrity Rehab. He said that Eric Roberts is crazed on that show. He said he was yelling at the TV last night. He said he had a step-son who stopped coming around him. The kid hit Eric in the ribs with a baseball bat. Howard said the kid is having a reconciliation with the kid. 2 minutes into the reconciliation he was hugging the kid. He said he's never seen anything like this. He said Janice Dickinson is wild and Leif Garrett is insane too. He said the guy is like 500 pounds and he's bald but wearing a do-rag. He said he's never seen a guy so addicted.

  Robin read about how there's a new TV show called Skins. She said it's about teens and over in England they show frontal nudity. Over here they'll be toning it down. Howard said he'd like to see the British version of the show. He said that he doesn't get why we can't see that here. Howard said we're all people. Over in England they can handle it for some reason.

  Robin read a story about a Consumer Reports poll where they found out that people think they're eating healthy but they're really not.

  Robin read about Paula Abdul's new TV show that's starting tonight. Robin had some audio of Paula talking about how intelligent she is during an interview with Julie Chen. Howard said she looks good for her age... whatever that age is. Howard said she must be near 50. He found out from the guys that she's 48. Robin said she was on Letterman last night.

  Robin read about a guy who spent 30 years in prison but was cleared by DNA. Howard said that's why he's against the death penalty. Robin said this was a week after he was paroled. He served his entire sentence. Robin said he was in prison for a rape and robbery. Robin said that it has to be hard living in prison. Howard asked ''You think?'' Robin said it's an awful thing. Benjy had pulled up the report and said that it was actually two men who were involved. Howard did a live commercial after that. Benjy said that the second guy is still in jail for some other rape he was accused of. Robin said sometimes when guys say they didn't do it, they didn't do it.

  Howard said there was a guy on a plane who was accused of masturbating on a plane and he claimed that he got Tobasco sauce on his penis and he was just rubbing it off. Howard said the cops didn't find any stains on him. He did it in front of a 17 year old girl. Robin said that's disgusting. Howard said the guy was arrested. Howard read some more details about the guy and they reported that his Facebook page was taken down. He said he's not sure why that was relevant to the story.

  Robin read a story about an ESPN reporter who was pulled from a show because he had made some comments to a female sideline reporter. The guy told her to ''leave this to the boys, sweet cakes.'' He also called her an A-hole.

  Robin read about a man who is going to live with some lions for the month of January down in Florida. Robin said that the guy is trying to raise money to keep his facility open. He has an outhouse and an escape route just in case things get bad. He'll be beaming it out on streaming video the whole time. Howard said the attack will be the one part they cut out.

  Robin read about President Obama coming back from his Hawaii vacation and he's back to work now. Robin read some other political news.

  Howard read a quote from Chris O'Donnell about what he does for his morning rituals and he mentioned he listens to Howard Stern.

  Howard said Ralphie May was on Adam Carolla's podcast and he mentioned the show. He played some of the audio of that interview. Ralphie told Adam that he cried when he heard them talking about Sam Kinison dying during the History of Howard Stern. Howard said Ralphie was the winner of Last Comic Standing a few years ago.

  Robin read about a boy who shot his mother in the head with a .22 rifle. Robin said that the kid plead not guilty. His sister is staying with relatives.

  Robin read a story about the Navy captain she read about yesterday. The guy is under investigation for some videos he created a couple of years ago that got him into trouble. Robin had some updates and audio clips about that story.

  Howard said he was reading a story about a woman who got groped at Disneyland. He said that she's suing for an undisclosed amount of money. He said she's claiming she has nightmares from the incident. Howard said she claims she has a bunch of maladies. Howard said when you see guys in costumes, there are actually guys in there. He said they're not exactly at the high point of their lives. Howard said that the Santa that you stick your child on is probably just some homeless guy. Of course you're going to get your tittie squeezed.

  Robin read a story about the stunt man who was injured in the Spider-Man Broadway musical. She had some audio of him talking about his accident and how he doesn't remember anything after hitting the floor. Robin said that he was hospitalized for 8 days and had a bunch of broken bones and a bruised lung. Howard did another live commercial after that.

  Robin got back to her news and read a story about Annie Lennox and Richard Thompson being recognized by the Queen of England. Robin said that she's got a title now.

  Robin had some news about Gwyneth Paltrow's new movie. Howard said he saw her on the Country Music Awards and she's actually a good singer. Robin had some audio of Paltrow talking about working with Beyonce and why people will like the movie. Howard said he saw Shallow Hal again with Gwyneth in it and that was good. He said she should do a Shallow Hal 2.

  Robin said that the Green Hornet movie is coming out on the 11th. Howard said Seth will be on the show. Robin had some audio of Seth talking about the movie.

  Robin read about Kevin Pollock hosting a new TV game show called Million Dollar Money Drop. She had some audio of Kevin talking about the new show. Howard said the show sounds complicated and fascinating. He said that Kevin actually sounded like even he wasn't into it in that clip. Howard said he wishes him luck though. He's a talented guy.

  Robin read about a John Lennon suit that sold at auction recently. Robin said that there's a guy who owns the bong that Miley Cyrus smoked Salvia out of. He's going to cash in on that and he'll be taking offers for any potential buyers. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:05am.

• Wrap Up Show - Is Steve Langford Soulless? 01/04/11. 10:10am
  Jon and Gary started the show talking about Steve Langford and how Steve Brandano said he was ''soulless'' earlier in the show. Gary said that Steve does say some odd things in his news reports. He said that Howard asked him if Gary and Jon were staying in the same hotel room and Steve said ''No... at least that's what they say.'' He doesn't get the joke.

  Jon said that Steve Brandano and Gange really don't like each other and that may never change. Gary said that you never know because when it comes out like this then you might want to resolve it. Jon said Howard was also talking about Howard going off on Kathie Lee today. Gary said that there was a history of Howard on where they talked about the note Kathie Lee sent to Howard after his divorce. Gary said that the note was all about her and how he should reach out to Jesus. Howard is Jewish. Gary said that she could have just wished him luck.

  Benjy said that they could have given that little kid a segment on the Today show instead of being ''the loser'' on there. Jon said that maybe Kathie Lee means well. Gary said he thinks that she does but she wants to do good things as long as it involves her being the center of attention.

  Jon asked if Howard could ever find common ground with Kathie Lee. Gary said he has done it with Rosie and others. He said he thinks he could do it with Kathie Lee. Gary said that Kathie Lee's demeanor changes as soon as Howard's name comes up though. He said there's nothing in it for her anyway. Benjy asked if he'd like to bet that she won't appear on the show in the next 5 years. Gary said he's tried to get her on a bunch of times and he's never gotten close. Jon thinks she'll do it. So does Benjy. Gary said that Kathie Lee didn't even do it when she was down on her luck. Jon said you never know if she has an 11th CD that comes out.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Steve Langford gets shit on there and he's one of the guys with big balls there. He said that the whole news team wouldn't be what it is without Steve. Gary said that he is great as their investigative arm. He said he does a phenomenal job. Gary said that when you're on the bad end of it though, it sucks. Jon said that Steve does not stop when he's on a story. Gary said he learned early on that if you tell him there is no story then he knows there's a story. He said that Steve is so not soulless like some people think.

  Steve was in so Jon and Gary talked to him about the soulless comments. Steve said that's just not accurate but he doesn't care if people say he is. He said that it's just not accurate. Steve said people get pissed off when you do a job like he odes.

  Gary said that it takes a certain personality to do the job Steve does. He said they were out in Los Angeles and they were in a car. He said that they were on a tour of the people's lives that Steve destroyed. He said it was the funniest thing hearing about all of the interviews he did that destroyed people. Steve said that he can't do his stories if he's seeking to be loved.

  Steve talked about an interview he did with Jennifer Aniston's mother back in around 1996. Steve said that he did a sit down interview with her and it wasn't an ambush. Benjy said Steve was kind of chuckling about it when Gary brought it up. Steve said that she made the statements, he didn't force Mrs. Aniston to say what she said. He said it wasn't his responsibility.

  Jon said that Steve Brandano has been angry with Steve and so has Benjy, Gary and many others. He asked if that gets him charged up. Steve said he's just doing his job. He's not in there to get people riled up. That's just a result of what he does.

  Gary said that Steve cried when he talked to him about his mother once. He said that you can't fake that. Benjy asked Steve Brandano if that shows he has a soul. Brandano said that he can't say it does. He said that he has to work with Steve there and that's what they do. He said that Steve has bothered his friends when he's asked Steve not to. Steve said he didn't run anything on this girl he's talking about so he's not sure what he's complaining about. Gary asked why he interviewed her then. Steve said he has to cover every angle so he was doing what they call ''news gathering.''

  Brandano asked Steve if he would be okay if he bothered his wife during the holiday party. Langford said he wouldn't whine like Brandano would. The two of them went back and forth about that for a minute. Langford said that Brandano is one of the most difficult people to deal with.

  Brandano said that he went to this concert and he asked Langford not to bother the girl he brought. Brandano said that Langford did it anyway. The girlfriend was a teacher and he didn't want her getting into any trouble. Langford said he didn't put her on the air so he doesn't get what the problem was.

  Jason came in and said that it was very straight cut in his opinion. He said that Steve started talking to the girl and Brandano's girl got up and walked away because Langford wasn't leaving her alone. Jason said he was in disbelief. Langford said he doesn't take orders from anyone there. He said that he was doing his job. Brandano said he's a maniac.

  Gary asked Langford if he treats them any different than he'd treat someone like High Pitch Eric. Langford said that he gets professional courtesy calls all the time. He said they ask him not to put stuff in stories but as a reporter he can't constantly do that. Jason said Langford isn't a reporter. Steve asked where Jason went to school. Jason wanted to hear his resume.

  Jon asked Langford if he would still go after an interview with Gary's wife if Gary asked him not to talk to her. Langford said that if he was covering a story he would turn to his wife and ask her a question. He said that if someone tells him why he shouldn't be doing that and it makes sense, he'll do what he has to do. He said that's exactly what he did with Steve Brandano. Brandano said that Shuli or Lisa G should have covered the story. He said that Steve was overqualified for the job.

  Shuli said that Jason has a thing against Steve and any chance he gets to fuck with Steve, he will. He said that Brandano's girl wasn't put on the air. He said Brandano has to take into account that he has to let things go. Brandano said that a week before there was a school teacher that was fired after she was on the show. Shuli said that nothing ever aired though. Brandano said that no one else there would do what Steve did. Langford said ''Guilty as charged.'' Shuli said it was an interesting angle to talk to the girl and that's why Steve was doing what he did.

  Langford told Brandano to watch the way Gary handles him. He said you can't freak out constantly. Brandano told him to shut up. Gary said maybe Brandano should get over it. Brandano said he's not going to get over this. He said that he has avoided Steve since then. Langford said he has done some stories with him since then. Brandano didn't know what he was talking about. He said they have done other stories and this will eventually pass. Brandano said that if he was anywhere else he would want to pummel Langford. He said he doesn't want to fight anyone else but he wants to pummel him. He said he wants to smash his head off the board right now. Shuli said that Brandano is an angry guy. He said he has to look into that anger.

  Jason said that Steve is crazy and he doesn't listen to anyone. Shuli asked who Jason is to shit on someone like Steve. Jason said that Steve stands on this high horse about his job and he's not saying where he was a journalist.

  Jon said that he wants to move on from this. He told Steve to go ahead and give his resume. Steve said he worked at CBS up in Canada in 1980. He went to another station and worked at CKGM radio and then went to another station and then CBS Sunday morning and these were very serious jobs. He said he went to Paris and worked at NBC as a radio reporter for 3 years. Then he got into TV and went to Cincinnati. Gary said he had to stop him there. He said that the 3 years at NBC were legitimate jobs. Jason said they are so that's fine with him. He said he doesn't like Steve though. Jon said that Jason is entitled to feel the way he feels. He said he wants to get to the phones.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said Steve is trying to be serious but he's on the Howard Stern show. He said that he has to know what he's doing and he's just trying to stir up shit. The caller said that he should never allow his opinion into a story. Gary said that the beauty of Steve being there is the way he does his job.

  Jason asked Shuli if there were any other radio shows he had to jump in on. Shuli asked Jason who asked him to come in there anyway. Shuli said he's backing up his guy like Jason is backing up his guy. Jon said he had to take a break after that.

• Wrap Up Show - Brandano Vs. Langford Continued. 01/04/11. 10:45am
  After the break Jon brought up the Steve Brandano and Mike Gange argument that came up on the show today. He asked if Howard was backing up one over the other. Gary thought he was just fascinated with the whole thing. Jon said that there's a lot of tension in the room lately. Jon said that he asked Langford during the show if he's doing his job or is this just a casualty of the story. Steve said it's a casualty of the story. He said if there are fireworks you are more likely to listen.

  Jon said that Jason is giving Steve a hard time about his credentials. Steve said that he's not succeeding. Jason and Brandano said that's because he has no soul. Jason said that he's had dealings with Steve and he's just rude, condescending and he just doesn't like him. He said that he Steve gets on this high horse and lectures you when you get into a conversation with him. He said he was on Hard Copy and he wasn't even the main guy on the show.

  Benjy said they label him like that's wrong that he was on Hard Copy. He said that he can't judge him on that. Jason said he's judging Steve on what he has done to him.

  Benjy said that they asked Steve if he would treat the other guys there like he treats the wack pack. He said that Steve should treat them all with respect.

  Jason asked Steve why he didn't run any stories about Lisa G's cookie money and where that was going. Gary said that he has had moments when Steve has asked him not to bring stuff up on the air. Steve said he would not do that. He said he's not in charge of the show so he can't control this.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that Langford is such a Holier than Thou asshole. He said that he should have left this girl alone that night and not bothered her. He said that she didn't want to be bothered obviously. The guy said he wants to beat Steve's ass too. Langford just laughed.

  Another caller said that he has a Gange comment but he wanted to tell Langford something. He said that he heard they used to call Steve ''Mud'' back in the wrestling days. Steve said that they did call him Mud but they were calling him that because he used to tell shit jokes. The caller said that he heard he was into anal and that's why they called him Mud. Steve said he'd like to know who the guy is and who his sources are. Jason asked if he could call Steve's wife and ask her if he's into anal. Steve said that he can do what he wants. He said he has never even tried anal. The caller said he was a liar.

  The caller also said that Gange is a bully and he was picking on a smaller person. Brandano said he had to defend Gange. He said that he has only made fun of him like 3 times. He said that Langford is another story.

  Another caller said that Brandano has to mellow out a little bit. He said he has to stop freaking out over petty things. Brandano said that he was with a new girl at the time and he didn't want Langford bothering her like that. The caller said that he has to see Langford every day so he has to calm down with that. Brandano said he doesn't like Langford and it doesn't matter how much time goes by.

  Jason asked the caller why they have to let anything go. He said you don't have to let it go if you're angry with someone. Gary asked Jason if he moved past the DePace problems. Jason said that he did because it naturally worked itself out. He said if Langford was doing this stuff every day he wouldn't let it go. He said he agrees with Brandano about the Langford thing. He said even today Langford does the same stuff that pissed Brandano off years ago. He said Robin looked like she wanted to choke Steve out while he was questioning her about her ticket yesterday. Steve said that he's covering the news and that's what his job is. Jason said he can do it without being an asshole.

  Jason said that the last Wrap Up Show they did before vacation he went off on Scott DePace and he felt badly about it the whole day. He said he just didn't want to do it anymore. He said they haven't interacted that much but he thinks that they've kind of made it go away. Jon asked if he thinks that Langford should back off and Brandano should let it go. Gary said he doesn't think that either of them are going to do that but Brandano might want to let it go just so he can feel better. Brandano said that's fair enough but he doesn't think that he can do that after Langford did what he did to the girl he was dating at the time. They had to end the show a short time later.

• Howard Says Paula Abdul's TV Show ''Sucked Dick.'' 01/05/11. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: Andy Dick's ''Little Brown Ring'' song, a prank call made to a woman using ''Ed Wood'' movie clips, Train performing ''If It's Love'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show saying hello to the people of Earth like Yoko Ono did in a clip they play. Howard wondered how you're supposed to answer that. Fred tried to find the clip but he wasn't having much luck. Gary knew the quote exactly so he told Howard what it was. Howard and Robin got a laugh out of that.

  Howard said Yoko wrote a good article for Rolling Stone magazine. They found some tapes of John Lennon that had never been heard before. Howard said that the reporter filed the interview he did with John away somewhere.

  Fred finally found the clip and played that. Robin said that's like the woman from the TV show V. She said she likes that show. Howard doesn't watch.

  Howard said he was watching the new Paula Abdul show last night. He said it's just like another show where they dance. He said the show moves really slowly and the judges slow it down even more. He said people don't care if people can dance. He said that singing is a different deal. He said that people don't get moved by dance. Only weirdos do. Howard said no one makes money dancing either.

  Howard said these people are in a competition like their careers are going to explode after they dance but that never happens. He said they might as well have people juggling on the show. Robin said that Michael Jackson wouldn't have been as big as he was if he only danced.

  Howard said Paula was on Regis and Kelly talking about the new show and she was talking to Kelly who said that she's known more for her dancing than her singing. Howard said Paula said that she's multi-talented and sounded shocked. Howard said her show is the typical thing where they find old people and have them dancing. He said they had an 83 year old on the show and she couldn't dance. He said that he and Beth thought the show sucked dick. He said they probably did well in the ratings last night but it won't maintain.

  Robin said that every interviewer had to ask if she was an alcoholic. Howard said it's really creepy she says she doesn't even get high. He said that she's mental if that's true.

  Robin said she claims she doesn't do drugs but she's on prescription drugs. Howard said she looked pretty good. Howard said she's 48 and she looks decent. He said people seem to like that.

• Yoko And John Lennon Article Discussed. 01/05/11. 6:10am
  Howard got back to Yoko and the article in Rolling Stone. He said that Yoko wrote about a day in her life and he felt for her. He said she's a good writer and more of a writer than a song writer. He said he doesn't like those art things she does where she comes out and just yells into a microphone. He said he likes some of her art but not that kind of stuff. He said he doesn't like her singing either. Rolling Stone gives her really good reviews too and he just doesn't get it.

  Howard said he read the John Lennon article and it was very long and tedious. He now knows why they shelved it. Howard said he has to be interested in something to read about it. He can't just read something. He said he has a pile of magazines he wants to read today. He calls it ''show prep'' and that's what he'll be doing today.

• Email And Wrap Up Show Discussions. 01/05/11. 6:15am
  Howard said he got a lot of feedback about the show yesterday and people thought he was very funny. He had no idea he was so funny. He read one email where the person said goofing on JD and Kathie Lee were very funny. Howard read some other mail about them being on the smartphone apps. One guy wrote in about how he was doing it from the toilet. Another guy said he was listening the same way in the middle of nowhere. Robin said she knows some people who had trouble finding the app. Howard said it's just a Sirius app. Jon Hein said maybe they were looking for a Howard Stern app instead. Robin said that might be the problem.

  Howard said that the new app is apparently very good. He said that he missed some of the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he heard that Brandano and Langford were going at it. Howard said that Brandano has such staunch opinions. He said they had him on the show one day and he was very angry that Miss America wasn't representing the country right or something like that. Howard said he was really passionate about something else too. Gary said he's very passionate about ''Cougars'' and how they're supposed to be good looking and many of them are not. Howard said he's a weird little dude and he's not quite sure what to do with him.

  Robin said that he heard Steve talking about how he had to start doing drugs to get Langford to leave him alone at that party where he was bothering his girlfriend. Howard said he had some clips to play.

  Howard played a clip where both Steve's were arguing about the way Langford was bothering Brandano's date at a party once. That led to Howard reading some email about Steve and people were telling him to fire the guy. Howard played another clip of the two Steve's arguing. Howard said he loves the arguing.

  JD said that Brandano was yelling at all of them after the show for not backing him up enough. Howard asked Steve what was so touchy about his girlfriend that he didn't want Steve asking about. Steve said she was a teacher and he didn't want her getting fired like the teacher on the show the week before did. Howard said that he understands now.

  Steve said that everyone left him out to dry on the show. He said that's why he said that to JD after the show. JD said he wasn't there so he doesn't know the full deal. He's not looking to fight with anyone so he was just playing devil's advocate.

  Howard said Jason came in to tell them what happened between the two Steve's. He said Shuli came in to defend Langford and Jason turned to him and told him that he has the habit of coming in when no one asked for him to come in. Howard said it was a second fight that broke out between those two. He played that clip too. All of the details are in yesterday's archive.

  After that clip Gary told him to play another one where Brandano said he wanted to hit Langford. Howard played that one too.

  Howard said it's weird that Steve is so opinionated at his young age. Howard asked why he gets so upset about that Miss America who was in a porno. Steve said he's not going to come in there and half ass it. Howard said he was upset about the Cougars too. Steve said it doesn't mean what it originally meant. Howard said he's too passionate about those things. He said he also said he would never have sex with Megan Fox. Steve said he doesn't like her so he would never do that. If he liked her he would. Howard said he would fuck her if she was Hitler. Steve said that's an awful way to think. Howard said he would fuck her as she was marching the Jews into the oven. He said then he'd kill her. Howard said that he'd still fuck her no matter what. Steve said Howard has daughters, he can't say that. Howard asked why he can't say that. Steve said it's just not right. Howard asked what's worse punishment for a dictator than having sex with him. Steve agreed.

  Howard said he agrees with Steve about some things he was saying yesterday. Steve said he doesn't like Langford. Howard said Steve has a lot of opinions and he's the host of the Intern Show. Steve said that's on tonight at 7 on Howard 101.

  Howard heard that Steve got upset about the way Jon Hein watches the Charlie Brown Christmas special by fast forwarding through the religious songs. Howard said the guy is Jewish so he gets uptight. Steve said if you're going to watch the movie, watch the whole movie. Steve said after all of this Langford stuff, Gange isn't so bad. Howard said there was a lot of activity on the Wrap Up Show yesterday.

  advertisement

• Howard's Christmas Cards And Stories About Mom And Dad. 01/05/11. 6:30am
  Howard said he got a lot of feedback about his weight loss. That led to Robin talking about how she got stuck watching that show ''The Biggest Loser'' and it was really good. Howard said he used to watch that a lot. He said that he gets Christmas gifts from the trainer, Bob, on that show. Howard said he still gets cards from people like Kreskin. He said he has to watch that movie that John Malcovich is in that's about Kreskin's life. Howard said he got a card from Greg Fitzsimmons and he was shocked by how good looking his wife is. He said he met her but he didn't soak her in at the party he was at. He was busy looking at Demi Moore.

  Howard said he got a card from Carol Leifer, Senator D'Amato's son and others. Howard said that Senator D'Amato is like 80 years old now. His father says ''Eighty's Bady'' or something like that. He said he has no idea what it means.

  Howard said there's a ton of garbage on the streets now and it actually saved the life of someone who tried to kill himself the other day. Howard said his mother has been complaining about the snow. He said he has his parents driven into the city to work out and his mother was worried she wouldn't be able to get into the city. He has a driver take them in so she doesn't have to drive herself. He said she was worried about the roads but the roads are clear. Howard said he saw her at the gym and he busted her balls asking if she had trouble getting in. She asked what he meant. Howard said she said it was the fastest they ever got in. Howard said of course because there's no snow on the roads.

  Howard said his parents work out but he's not sure what they get out of it. He said his father does bicep curls and he's doing it with 2.5 pounds in his hand. Howard said they do like it though. He said they do the routine there and then they go home and do their walks. His mother complains about the cold. He was doing his impression of his mom as he was talking about that.

  Howard said his mother was nervous about the snow but they were fine. Robin said they must have great imaginations and talk themselves into thinking they're starving when they actually don't go out to look at the snow. Howard said they talk about how they stay in and just have soup during the storm. He said that they were freezing for 3 days last year when their power went out. He said his sister could have gone over there to help them out. Howard said they could have come over to his house but they just stayed home and froze. Howard said he sent a car for his mom and she had to be bundled up in a coat even though his house is like 90. Robin said they must be like George Takei who wouldn't leave his apartment with bedbugs.

• Beth's Buggy Oatmeal And More About Howard's Parents. 01/05/11. 6:40am
  Howard said he may have a lawsuit. He said Beth has been eating his Rice and Shine cereal. He said it's very healthy and Beth really likes it. He said that the other morning she decided to cook some oatmeal. He said she opened the package and ate it. He said later on she looked in and there were dead bugs and they were in the oatmeal box. He said that the box was expired so that was kind of their fault but the package was sealed. He said that the package was brand new and unopened. Howard said that the stuff is expired so they may not have a suit. He said they bought it a while ago.

  Howard said Beth was going to try it again and she went to eat something not expired and it had bugs living in it. He said she told him that there were more bugs than oatmeal in the package. Robin said that doesn't sound right at all. Howard said they don't have bugs so it's not them. Robin said she's not sure if he has a suit there. Howard said he's looking into it.

  Howard got back to his parents and talked about them staying over at their house. He said they constantly had problems there. He did his impression of his father and mother. That led to Howard playing the prank call that Sal and Richard made to the heating and cooling place using clips of Howard doing his impression of them complaining about the heat.

  Howard got back to the discussion about his parents and did more of his impressions of them complaining about the heat. He said it's kind of sad how they won't accept new technology. He said they won't get a TiVo in the house and they refuse to even use a cell phone.

  Howard played another prank call Sal and Richard made to a cab company using clips of his mom complaining about the car not showing up to pick her up.

  Howard said that day was the worst day of his life. He said that he wanted to kill Tim that day. He said that they had asked his parents to record something for a special they were doing and they forgot to send the car for them. Howard said he had a meeting with Tim yesterday and he's really good but that day he was really angry with him. Howard said he remembers that day and how they were going to have his parents out there to do this special and they waited 2 hours for it to show up.

  Howard did his impression of them once again. He had them complaining about that car not showing up. He said they were making it out to be his fault. Howard said his blood pressure went through the roof that day. He said he was really upset about the whole thing.

  Howard said these lectures have been going on since he was a kid. He said that they always asked what was wrong with him. He said it was all so punitive. He did more of the impressions of them going off on him about all of these simple things. Howard said there was a report that he was behaving badly in the cafeteria and his parents went off on him about that. He said they'd get so upset over the littlest things. Howard said they would get angry if he was late to a class or left a shirt on his bed. Howard got on his megaphone and did his impression of is mom telling him about her childhood and how awful it was.

  Howard said it was endless lecturing with his parents. He went on and on doing his impression of his mom telling him what he should do and how he should think of others. Howard was arguing with himself as his mom.

• Nanny Neglect. 01/05/11. 7:00am
  Robin said she was going into the Time Warner Center to go to Whole Foods and the place is kind of oddly shaped. She said that she was looking at the door and this little kid ran right into her and bounced off of her and landed like 5 feet back. Howard said that kid is a dick and he should watch where he's going. Robin said there was no one around the kid so she wondered where the parents were. She said that the kid's nanny came over and said she was so sorry. She said that it happened so fast the kid didn't even know how it happened. She said that she's not sure if it was a bad nanny or what. Howard said of course it was a bad nanny.

  Howard said he watches these nannies and he saw some out the other day and they were letting the kids run around on a busy street corner and not paying attention. Howard said that if the mother was there they'd be watching them closely. Howard said you have a whole country of upper middle class kids who are being raised by nannies. He said it's a nightmare. Howard got back to his mom and did his impression of her talking about how closely she watched over her kids. Howard played another prank call that the guys made using his impressions of his parents. They called a coffee shop and had Howard's parents complaining about their coffee. They went to break after that.

  advertisement

• Shadoe Stevens Update. 01/05/11. 7:10am
  After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a show using Wood Yee and Hank the Dwarf audio clips. Fred also played ZZ Top's ''Sharp Dressed Man'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said Gary said he heard from Shadoe Stevens the other day. He said Shadoe was checking out what they're doing with the channels and he was recommending someone to do a show on their channels. Howard said he remembers Shadoe being like the Ryan Seacrest of the 1980s. Robin said that she was thinking of someone else. She said she was thinking of the guy who does the countdown there. She was thinking of Spyder Harrison who does the countdown show there at Sirius. Howard said that Shadoe is living in L.A. doing his thing out there. Howard said this gives him hope that Ryan Seacrest will peter out.

  Howard said that Shadoe's daughter is in her fourth year of a hit TV show. Howard said he saw some pictures of this girl and she's really hot. The show is called ''Greek'' which is on ABC Family. Howard showed Robin the picture and she said she's gorgeous. Howard said she's so cute in her oversized hat and big titties. Gary said she's 24 years old. Howard said it's okay for him to comment on her titties then. Her name is Amber Stevens.

  Howard asked Gary if he asked Shadoe if he's still married to the black chick. Gary said he didn't ask. Howard said he heard that Shadoe still listens to the show.

• Real Life Super Hero And Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/05/11. 7:20am
  Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Before he got to her he said that there's a clip floating around about a homeless guy who has a great radio voice. Howard said he's gotten the clip from about 20 people. Howard said that everyone can stop sending him the clip now. Howard said he heard it's a hoax anyway. Howard said the guy is black and his teeth are all over the place. He said he must have been given prosthetic teeth for this video. Howard said the guy looks disheveled and homeless as hell but then he sounds like the best announcer ever. Howard said it's a brilliant viral campaign but it can't be real. He said Sirius should be doing stuff like this.

  Howard said the guy goes on to explain about how his life took a turn when he got into drugs. He played the audio and the guy is saying that he's 2 years clean and he's trying to find a job. Howard said everyone told him that this is his new voice over guy. Howard said he was told it was a hoax of course.

  Howard said there's a story about a super hero. He said this guy is like the movie Kick Ass. Howard said some dude in Seattle walked in while his car was being robbed. The robber started to attack the owner of the car and this guy jumps out in a black uniform to beat the shit out of this robber but he ran away. Howard said this was for real. He's already a legend. Howard said that he was shot at and someone tried to stab him too. Howard said that it's pretty cool. He said that the guy is a real super hero. Howard played the news report about this guy. Howard said this suit is really cool and he has a muscular bodice and it's bulletproof. Howard said the mask is cool and all of that. Howard played more of the news report and talked about how cool this guy is. They said that there are actually 8 of these guys out there. Howard said that they introduced them to the guy who they had saved. The Super hero calls himself Phoenix Jones. He said that they should have had different super heroes instead of 8 of the same one. Howard said this guy has mace and other weapons he carries with him.

  Robin said she thinks that this could be a hoax. Howard said he thinks that it could inspire new villains. Robin said she thinks that it was a whole set up. She said that a comic book store wouldn't have a room for him to change in. Howard said he's a super hero so why not. JD said they showed the book cases that they have that open up where he changes. Howard said that Batman doesn't give tours of the bad cave so maybe it is a set up. JD said they have a bunch of people who walk around like this. Robin said that she read about another guy who helped a woman whose car had broken down. Howard said he could be a super villain and be Scarecrow and JD could be Mumble Man.

  Lisa got to her news preview. She said that Richard Christy recorded 12 new songs for his band Charred Walls of the Dammed. She said he did that in 2 days during vacation. Howard told Richard to stop with that and get back to work back there. Howard asked if his first album sold that well that he could do a second one. Lisa didn't remember what the number was. Richard said they sold 20,000 worldwide. Richard said they're still doing a lot of work back there too.

  Howard said Sal and Richard just did that Jack and Rod where he's stroked out Dick Clark. They also heard Richard Simmons on the History of Howard Stern so they took clips of him and called a woman named Carrie and had him talking to her. Howard played that new one where Jack and Rod talked to an author about her book and had Richard saying Gary over and over and this woman Carrie kept saying she was there and their connection must be bad. They kept playing Richard saying ''Gary'' over and over and over until she hung up.

  Howard said he misses that guy. Robin said she does too. Lisa said that he has an aerobics class he teaches on the weekends. Gary said he heard he has a reality show coming up. Howard said he should do a real reality show and see what he comes up with.

  Howard said he heard some of yesterday's Mammary Lane where they were busting Richard's balls. He said he asked Richard if he had ever kissed a man and he just said ''What!?'' Howard said that he would like to hear Richard talk about his authentic life. He wondered how long he's going to go on with this. Howard said Richard would always say he hadn't found the right girl yet. Howard did his impression of Richard and said that it would be great if he could hold a person's hand and have a real relationship. Gary said one of his favorite shows was when Richard showed up with his fiancee and Howard was making fun of him to his face about it saying that the flags at Fire Island were at half staff that day.

  Gary said that he just got an email from Richard yesterday. Howard said he loves the guy. He would like to talk to him. Howard said he was getting fat for a while there. He said he heard that he lost some weight though. He said his buddy Pat is a fan of Richard's because he gets people up and moving and his food is more sensible than other diets.

  Robin said she was watching that Biggest Loser show and some of the people looked like they had stomach surgery but it must have failed. Howard said the best part of that show is when you get a fat chick thin and she turns out to be hot. He said that hasn't been happening so much lately. He said they need to hire someone who can recognize hot chicks that are fat.

  Howard said that Tom Arnold did a comedy special and it was pretty funny. He said he was joking about how America is the greatest country in the world because we have the fattest poor people in the world. Howard said the guy was making him laugh.

  Lisa got back to her news and said that Sal is making changes for 2011 and he's going to be signing up with a voice over agent. He's been on some auditions and he got one job where he plays a contractor. He said that he got paid pretty well but didn't say how much it was. He said it was a good start.

  Howard asked how much money he makes from his band. Richard came in and told Howard that he got some good checks for royalties. He said that they have almost recouped the cost from the making of the album so they will be fine. Richard said they got some money from the merchandising. He said that he hasn't made anything off the album. Richard said he got a check for like $2,800 for the merchandise. Howard sarcastically said that's great. Richard said it took him 2 days to record 12 songs so it doesn't take a lot of time. Howard told Richard to get out of there and just stay there and work. Howard said Richard has music in his head but it's worthless.

  Richard said that Sal is using Propecia and he claims it's working. Richard said he's real self conscious about his hair. Howard said that's the stuff that turns you into a woman or something. You're not supposed to be around a pregnant woman when you're using it.

  Sal came in and showed him the back of his head. He said he takes this pill every day. Howard said that stuff can't be good for him. He said that it has to be doing something to his body. Sal didn't seem to care. Richard said he doesn't care about his health. He smokes those electronic cigarettes and doesn't care when people tell him that they're no good for you. Sal said that he's 41 and he's fine.

  Sal showed Howard his head again and Howard did see his bald spot. Gary read about the side effects of that stuff and one of them was breast enlargement and testicular pain. Sal said he does have tingles in his balls. Howard said his breasts were bigger too. Gary said it affects your libido too. Sal said his wife threw that in the garbage years ago. Sal said that he gets short winded.

  Sal said he went to an Indian web site and self prescribed this stuff. Howard said he would talk to a doctor about it. Sal said the pills seem to be working. Richard said that the stuff Sal smokes has a skull and crossbones on it. Howard said he's inhaling a chemical that can make him sick. Sal said he once touched the nicotine stuff and it made him sick. Richard said that he blows the smoke in his face so he hopes it's not bad for you.

  Sal asked Howard if his prayers last year worked for that thing that he was praying about. Howard said it didn't help at all. He said that he always believed that praying was bullshit but he decided to try it last year. He said he tried out the prayers and nothing changed. Robin said maybe God is saying you can't just go to church once. Howard said that he's having the 7 plagues now so maybe she's right.

  Lisa said that the guy from Rock Mafia has said that their song has jumped 100 places in the iTunes charts after Howard talked about the song. Howard played some of that song. Howard said he thought the guy was a black woman but it turns out he's white. They went to break a short time later.

• Marilu Henner Calls In. 01/05/11. 8:00am
  After the break we heard some prank calls High Pitch Eric made to a Trading Post radio show. Fred also played Bruno Mars ''Grenade'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said that he read they're taking the N-word out of Huckelberry Finn. Robin said that's ridiculous because that's the way they talked back then. Robin said they're erasing history like it never happened. Howard said that they say other people who haven't read it will read it now. He thinks that's just ridiculous.

  Howard had Marilu Henner on the phone. He said he hasn't spoken to her in years. Howard said he's amazed that she never talked about this autobiographical memory she has. Marilu said she has talked about it on so many other shows she never thought about it being a super power. Howard said she's only one of 6 people they know about in the world who has this thing. Howard asked if she was smart in school. Marilu said that she was super smart and she got scholarships to schools and stuff like that. IT doesn't happen to everyone who has this power though. She said that others didn't do well in school.

  Howard said that Marilu has procreated so maybe they will have this power. Marilu said that her younger child does have that power but he isn't owning it yet. She said that he can tell you a lot of things from his life. Howard said this 60 Minutes segment was really interesting. Marilu said that she can remember back to when she was about 2 but most of the detailed stuff starts around 12. Howard asked her about November 4, 1972 and what day it was. She said that it was a Saturday and she remembers what he was doing that day. She said she went to a restaurant in Chicago and she was in a show there. She said it was cold that day. She said she even remembers the dress she had on. Howard said they say this is like OCD in a way.

  Howard asked her how this works when she just says what day the date was. Marilu said that she was given every memory test known to man. She wasn't able to give Howard an answer about how that works. Howard sounded really impressed by this.

  Howard asked Marilu if she remembers hanging out with him in 1998. She did remember that and that it was on July 16th 1998. She said that it was a Thursday and in the afternoon she had a big brunch at her house and she was working on one of her books. Howard asked what she ate. She remembers the salad and all of the details. Howard asked if she remembers her doody that day. She said she's a healthy girl. Howard asked if she remembers her biggest doody. She said she didn't want to get into that. She said it's every day that she has them. Howard asked her if she remembers July 15, 1994 how many doodies she made. She said she didn't remember that.

  Howard asked if it plays like a movie in front of her. She said that for her it's like selected scenes on a DVD. She said the entire year will play out in front of her like a timeline and she'll see all of the scenes next to each other. Howard said he sees this as a blessing but Robin sees it as a curse. Howard said that they can't forget so they can't embellish. Howard said he would be able to play his conversations over again.

  Marilu said that her parents died when she was young and she remembers all of what went on. She plays that stuff over and over again in her head. She said it's horrible. Howard asked Marilu about her father and if she remembers her father's last sentence. She said that he had already passed out when she saw him. She said that she remembers her father's last words to her at the party but anyone would remember that.

  Marilu said that when you're an actress you remember stuff. She said that it was never weird to her to remember stuff. Howard asked if she could read a script and memorize it after one reading. She said she doesn't have a photographic memory so she doesn't know the words after once. Maybe after 3 times she would.

  Howard asked Marilu if she remembers finding her first pubic hair. She didn't remember that. Howard said he thinks that he'd remember that.

  Howard asked when she had an orgasm for the first time. Marilu said that she's not going to tell him that. Howard said she was never uptight about sex. She has teenage boys so she didn't want to go into that. She did know the date though. Robin asked about her first period. Howard asked what the date was the first time she swallowed a man's load. Marilu said she didn't want to talk about that either. Howard asked her what the weather was that day. She said it was beautiful out. She said it was evening. Marilu said that she's a good catholic school girl.

  Howard asked Marilu to tell him about the days she was on the show. She said she was supposed to be on September 9, 1994. She said her boy got sick and Howard was kind of nasty to Fran Drescher the day before so she ended up on the show a couple of weeks later. She said it was Friday, September 23, 1994. Howard said they say she wasn't on a Friday. Gary said the list was when she phoned in. Marilu said she went on the show in Los Angeles. Howard started to remember that.

  Howard asked Marilu if she can recall the four days she called into the show. Marilu said that she's not 100 percent sure. Gary said that they went through the logs yesterday and couldn't find it. Gary said that her name was spelled wrong in the log so she's right. Howard said he should have made love to her. He said that he thinks she wanted it from him. Marilu said that she always found Howard attractive.

  Howard asked for one date that she called into the show. Marilou sad one day was April 30, 1996. Howard said she was right.

  Marilu told Howard that she teaches people how to remember and stuff like that. She's writing a book that's coming out later this year. She also teaches at her web site Marilu.com

  Howard asked Marilu about how her mother died. She said that her mom was a dance teacher and she did beauty school stuff at their house. Marilu said that her mother had a lot of stress and she had horrible arthritis and she lost her leg and it was just terrible. She said they were fabulous people too. Marilu said that they were like a gem in the middle of their neighborhood.

  Howard asked Marilu if she's holding up looks wise. She said she thinks she is. She told Howard about how she's going to be on some shows there in New York and she'll have to come in next time she's there.

  Howard said that Marilu made love to just about everyone on Taxi. He said that she was married like 4 times too. Marilu said she banged 4 out of 72 on Taxi. Howard asked her about banging Tony Danza. Howard asked if he banged her in weird places. She said he did. Howard asked what the weather was like under Judd Hirsch's balls in 1994. Marilu just laughed.

  Howard said they say that we don't access more than 10 percent of our brain power. He said that Marilu must be what the future is going to be like. He said that we'll eventually have these super powers. He said compared to her, everyone else is like Gary the Retard. Howard said that we're all frogs compared to her.

  Robin asked Marilu if she's plagued by any of the memories she has. Marilu said she's not. She said that it's just part of you and you aren't haunted by them unless you make it happen that way. She said that there are things like what happened to her parents that she doesn't like remembering but that's just a part of her. She said that she doesn't want to block anything out but maybe other people would. Marilu said it's just part of her life story.

  Howard asked if Marilu could remember the background of a room if there was a crime that happened. She said she was part of a deposition where she gave such detail that they changed the case. Howard asked if she remembers every day she was with John Travolta. She said she can remember the days she spent with any person in her life. She said that she doesn't go through them every day but she can think of them. Robin asked if she can re-live an entire sexual experience. Marilu said she figured everyone did that. Robin said it's not in that kind of detail though.

  Howard asked how old her oldest memory is. She said that she can remember back to about 18 months. She said she remembers visuals but not conversations. She said that one of her strongest memories is the day her sister was born in 1954. Howard asked what kind of condom Judd Hirsch put on the first time she was with him. She said she wasn't going to talk about that. She said he can ask about her husband.

  Howard said this guy that Marilu is married to had cancer and she married him while he had cancer. She said that he was diagnosed 2 months into their relationship. She said that she was going to take him to every doctor she knew. He had bladder and lung cancer but he's in remission now. Marilu said that he runs Brown Trout Calendars. She said that two of his calendars were featured on Ellen's show. Howard said it's crazy that she's into a guy who is into calendars.

  Howard asked what the weather was like the first time she made love to him. She said that was March 3, 2003 and it was a Monday. Howard asked what it was like the first time she did anal. Marilu laughed and didn't answer.

  Howard said that he's amazed by all of this. Marilu said she thinks there are going to be a lot more of them found around the world. She said that it can't be just 6.

  Howard said he was going to give her a random day and he wants her to just tell him what happened to her that day. Marilu said there are a lot of people who are in the autism spectrum and it's not connected to that. Howard asked what happened to her on August 15, 1975. Marilu said it was a Friday and it was the first date she went out with someone she made love to. She said that it was from her Grease days. Howard asked if it was Travolta. She said it wasn't him. She said that John was very into it back then too. Howard said that the rumors about him being gay must not be true then.

  Howard said this is all very impressive. He said he wants to see her next time she's in town. Howard asked how old she is. She's 58. Howard heard that and said that she doesn't have to come in then. He was just joking.

  Benjy asked Marilu if she can remember thoughts in her head from 18 months. Marilu said she can remember and she remembers thinking about what she wanted her mother to do. She said she loved to sing and she can remember things like that. Benjy asked if she has memories of a past life. She said there are things that happened to her in France that made her think that she had been there before. Marilu said she should look into that more. Benjy asked if she believes in god and reincarnation. Marilu said that she believes that there is a higher power but she's not sure he's in white robes with a long beard. Howard said this is the closest thing she has to super man. He wants her to come in and talk about this stuff. Marilu said she'll come in and she will show off her body fro him.

  Gary asked if she can count cards. Marilu said she can't. She said she was just in Vegas last week and she's going back next week. She doesn't do things like that. She said she understands the order and sequence of stuff and she can tell people the hands they had before.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she remembers the dates and weather on the days she got anal. Marilu wasn't talking.

  Another caller said he thinks that this is a hoax. Howard said that they had her name wrong in their computer and she knew the day she was on the show. Howard said this is no hoax. Howard said this is real. The caller still didn't believe it. Marilu said they did a study at UC Irvine. She was also on 60 Minutes where they tested her and a bunch of people. The caller asked if she will ride the Sybian today. Howard said of course she will. Marilu just said ''Oh my god...''

  Howard gave Marilu some plugs for this movie she's in on the Hallmark Channel on February 12th called ''Mulligan.'' She said that she has some other stuff coming up too. She told Howard to check out her web site at Marilu.com too. Howard wrapped up and let her go a short time later.

  Howard said he needs a super power. Robin said he's the King of All Media. Howard wondered what he's going to do with that. Howard said he's blown out by that whole thing. Robin said it's not good for everyone. Robin told Howard to just imagine if someone was raped. They'd have to live it over and over. Howard said that Marilu said you have to think about it though. Howard said he wants that power. He said he wants to know what really happened in his life. Robin said that he's making up a lot of what he says. She knows it all didn't happen. They went to break after that.

  advertisement

• Phone Calls And ''Shut Up Little Man'' Audio Clips. 01/05/11. 8:50am
  After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman using clips of Sal crying when Howard pranked him about retiring. Fred also played the Beatles ''Strawberry Fields Forever'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and sang along to the song Fred was playing. Howard said that he wishes he could play some of that on a guitar.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been calling like a million times. He said he wanted to tell Baba Booey to wake up and do his job. Howard asked what he's not doing. The guy said Gary is sleeping. Howard said he can't believe he waited all that time to say that.

  Howard took another call from a guy who asked what's going on with Bubba. Howard said that the company didn't come through for Bubba and he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Howard said he's still working on getting him back. He has a lot of other things he's working on too. He said it's not just Bubba. Howard said he likes Bubba.

  Another caller asked about KC and the transvestite. Howard said he has an update. He said the tranny is booked and the tranny's friend is booked. Now they have to book KC. Gary said they booked him yesterday so they're set. Howard asked if they have a date. Gary said that it looks like Thursday the 13th. Howard said that's very close. Next week actually. The caller said he was blind and he wanted to come in and try to pick out the tranny.

  Gary said that they've heard from the Tranny that KC has a lot of the details incorrect. Will said that KC is all bummed out about this whole thing. He said that he thought he'd be fine since he said the tranny was hot. KC said he never said she was hot. Will said he just went ''Oh no'' when he heard that.

  Howard took a call from this guy who said that the Wrap Up Show isn't going on long enough. Howard said he'll talk to them about that. The caller said that he'd like to hear them give some time to the guys so they can talk more. Gary said that they didn't feel rushed off yesterday.

  Howard said there's a cool movie out called ''Shut Up Little Man'' that Richard told him about. He said that this guy lives in an apartment next to two guys who are roommates. One guy is gay and one is straight but they yell at each other when they get drunk. Howard said the people who live next door record the yelling matches. Richard said they actually got a long stick and stuck a microphone outside their window into the other people's window. They taped 20 hours of this stuff. Richard said it happened in 1987 and he's been a huge fan of it since he got it in the 90s. Richard said they're actually just audio recordings and they made a documentary movie about the audio recordings.

  Howard played some of the audio that they play in this movie. One guy was yelling at the other guy about being a queer and telling the guy to shut up. The guy said he was nothing but a ''fucking queer'' and things like that.

• Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/05/11. 9:05am
  Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Howard said he took a beating on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Steve said they have an update on Robin's speeding ticket. He said she can pay a fine of $165 or take a driving course. They list her speed at 90 in a 75 MPH zone. They also have her age listed as 53. Howard said that they had her at 97 MPH yesterday. Steve said that Robin won't tell them what her speed actually was. Robin said Steve is an asshole. She said she doesn't give her age to the cop, he took her driver's license and filled out the form. She said she had nothing to do with that. Fred said that he's trying to make it out like Robin is lying. Steve said he's not doing that. He said that the information appears to be incorrect in a couple of cases. Howard said he just wants to move on.

  Steve said they have a story about high Pitch Eric being on a Discovery Channel show. He saw a chair that he could use to lose weight and they did this show based on that. He's also doing an interview show with Len Berman on something called PoisonMedia.com. Howard said they should lock him up and have him as their Larry King.

  Steve said that Jay Thomas has fired back at Howard about his comments about not inviting him to his parties. Howard said that he asked Jay not to bring anyone to his party other than his wife and he showed up with this intern and 3 other people. Howard said he loves Jay but it's enough with the holiday party. Steve said that Jay is going to show up even if he has to go as Shuli's wife.

  Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they were going to cover today. He was saying Marilu Henner's name in an odd way so Howard and Robin corrected him on that. They spent a short time talking about her amazing memory stories.

  advertisement

• Robin's News. 01/05/11. 9:10am
  Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard read some email he got about them being on the Sirius XM app. He read some feedback about the Kathie Lee stuff they were doing yesterday too and the fans seemed to like that. Howard had a bunch of feedback about that.

  Robin started her news with a story about a Philippino guy who took a picture of his assassin. He took the picture right before he was killed so they were able to find his killer. Howard said they did arrest him and another guy he thinks. Robin said they say the photo shows the guy standing behind his daughter wearing a dark cap. Robin didn't see anything about a second guy.

  Howard said Doug Goodstein pointed something out about this Princess Wishes on Ice show. Howard said each ticket is 12 bucks and they charge an additional $21.25 on top of that. He read about all of the different fees and charges they have on the tickets. Howard said Doug is bringing his daughter to this show. He wondered how they get away with charging all of that extra. Howard said he knew a guy in the concert business who used to charge $2.50 just so his friend could get that money. They spent a short time talking about that.

  Howard had Brian Koppelman on the phone. He said that he wanted to talk about the Sirius XM app. Brian said that he has been waiting for this app. He said that it's changed his walk in the morning. He said he wants to walk longer now that he has this to listen to. He said he can walk around listening to Howard now. Robin said that a lot of people who used to commute and don't do that now say they can't listen. Brian said that he can listen all the time now. He said he never got to listen before but this morning he walked around for an hour listening to the show.

  Howard said this is a game changer. He said they've had the app for a while but he wasn't on it. Now they are on it. He said that most apps don't have any content but this one does. Howard said it streams the show and it's great. Brian said he was very skeptical about it until he tried it out. He said it's worked the whole time he's had it on. Howard said this is the man walking on the moon. Brian said he's glad that they're back and he thanked them for doing this. Howard let Brian go a short time after he let him give his resume of movies that he's worked on.

  Robin started to talk about The Bachelor and how these newspaper people are trying to ruin the outcome of the show.

  High Pitch Eric called in and said that he is interviewing Len Berman tonight. He said that the web site is PoisonMedia.com. He said that this is the first show he's doing tonight. He said Len is his first guest. He said he's going to ask Len about the upcoming baseball season and the Jets and the Giants. Howard said Len used to have a career. Howard said he wants to hear more guests that he can line up and he'll give him a show if he can line up anyone. Gary said that they might be able to set something up for him. Eric said he can try to get Paul Shaffer to do the show. He knows Sebastian Bach too. Howard told him to get him a list of people he can definitely get. Gary said they have this Hip Hop Chef guy. The Black Keys wanted to come on too. Seth Green wanted to come on so maybe Eric could do the interview. Howard said they have to do like 10-15 minute interviews. Gary said maybe they can do a half hour. Howard said he heard Eric wants to pass on Seth Green.

  Robin got back to her news and read about the Consumer Electronics Show. She had some audio of a woman talking about the upcoming tablets. Howard said he wants a tablet that will use Flash. He said the iPad doesn't work with it. Howard said Jeff Shick tells him that the new Blackberry tablet is going to work for that. Howard said he wants something light and quick and not a laptop. He said he needs a tablet that accepts DVDs. Robin said he could just download movies. Howard didn't know he could do that. Robin told him it's very simple. Howard heard it was very complicated. That's what Ralph told him. Robin had some more clips of this woman talking about 3D TV at CES. Howard said that it's supposed to fuck up little kid's eyes.

  Jon Hein came in and told Howard there's an easy way to rip your DVDs and put them into your iPad. He said it's very easy. Howard said that's not what Ralph told him.

  Gary talked about how he has a 3D TV and he's watched like 2 movies so far and that's all of the content he had. He said that he has a 3D gaming system hooked up to it too so he will be able to play in 3D. He said he's not sure that there's enough content out there yet. He said it's all in its infancy right now so they have a long way to go.

  Robin read about how Jay Leno is back on top and he's beating Conan O'Brien. he's pulling in as many viewers as O'Brien did as the host. Howard said he hates that. He goofed on Jay for a minute about all of that. Howard said that he doesn't care about Leno. He said he's going to have to go on Letterman and ask why he's not getting any ratings. He said Dave should be huge after all of that stuff that went on with him and the interns. Howard said he thinks he's going to do Dave's show. He said he's already doing that Piers Morgan interview show. He said he's going to do like 40 minutes. He said that it's not a live show though. He said he records the show and they air it later. He's already complaining about it though. He said he likes Piers but he's not sure anyone cares. He's on CNN after all.

  Robin read a story about the stars of ''Meet the Fockers'' and their salaries. Robin said that Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro got $20 million and Owen Wilson got $15 million. Howard said that doesn't seem right to him. Barbara Streissand got $7 million and Dustin Hoffman got $7.5 million. Howard said that they say that it's on its way to grossing like $300 million. Robin said that Jessica Alba is in the movie and she got $3 million. Howard said she must feel pretty shitty about that.

  Robin read a story about Brett Favre who is being sued by a couple of masseuses. Howard heard that story and said that no women want to see him naked and jerk him off. Howard said guys get berserk when they see someone giving a massage. Howard said that they're doing their jobs and they don't want to touch dudes. Robin said the women say they were no longer hired by the team after they complained.

  Robin read about the Megamillions lottery winners. There were two winners and she said that the numbers had some relationship to the numbers on ''Lost.'' Howard said they never did explain them on that show. He said it was such bullshit.

  Robin read about how Huckleberry Finn is going to be re-released with the N-word replaced with ''slave.'' Howard said that's just not right. He said he doesn't like that. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the changes and why they're wrong. The woman said that it's putting democracy in danger when you do something like that. Howard said that he hates Huckleberry Finn anyway. Robin said it's a work of art and you can't change it.

  Robin read a story about a Navy officer who says the videos that this Navy commander is in trouble for, are taken out of context. She had some audio of this guy talking about how people just don't understand it if they don't know the Navy's sense of humor. He also said that they boost morale.

  Robin read about Michael Jackson's doctor who is on trial. She had some details of that case. Robin said that they're saying that people wanted Michael to keep working so he was stressed out. Howard said it doesn't matter who wanted him to work. He didn't have to work if he didn't want to.

  Robin had a story about how walking can help older people's health. Howard said that of course it helps. Robin said that they have to get out and walk for a while, not just a little walk. Howard did a live commercial after that.

  Robin read a story about how people can relieve stress. She had some audio of a woman talking about that. Howard said he blows a load to relieve stress. He also does Transcendental Meditation to relieve stress. Robin said that this woman suggests other things.

  Robin read about the death of Jerry Rafferty who wrote the song ''Baker Street.'' Fred played Richard Christy's parody of that song. Howard said he was only in his 60s. Robin said he was 63. He was a drinker according to what they read. Fred said his wife left him because of that. They played some of his music like ''Stuck In The Middle With You'' which wasn't one of Howard's favorites. He said it was pretty good. Robin said he had ''Baker Street'' too and that was a big hit for him. They played some of that song too. Howard talked it up like he was back at WRNW. He said he had played that song a lot in his career. Robin had Howard play another song but Howard didn't seem to know that one. He tried talking that one up too.

  Robin read a story about a new video that's out showing a St. Louis police officer beating a man at a gas station. Robin said that he beat the man while he was on the ground and then sprayed him with mace. Howard said there are grey areas with the law and some people deserve to be beaten. He said they need a beating clause. Robin said they've launched an internal investigation into this. Howard said he's secretly thinking that this is a good thing. He said that it's wrong but he likes it.

  Robin read about how cops may be able to search your cell phone without a warrant. Howard said he has nothing on his phone so he's not worried. Robin said that police in California have the right to search your phone if you're under arrest. Robin said that there's a story about a guy in California who was trying to fight it.

  Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked why there's no Windows Phone app. Howard said he doesn't get why anyone would by a Windows phone. He said that he goes with what most people have, not some whacked out Windows phone. Mark said that someone else there has a Windows phone. Howard said that he should get a Blackberry or an iPhone. Robin said that Windows isn't good at what it does. Why would you buy their phone? Howard told him to stop trying to be different. Howard said he has a Commodore 64 phone.

  Robin read some news about how President Obama beat out Justin Bieber as being the most influential person in 2010... on Twitter.

  Robin read a story about Justin Bieber being on the cover of Vanity Fair. She had some quotes from him and how he claims to be nuts and how his mind is always racing. Howard said the kid doesn't even have hair on his balls yet. He said he really hates that hair cut he has. He's not sure how he gets his hair forward like that. Howard figured the kids would take on his hairdo instead. Robin said Howard's is more complicated than Justin's is.

  Robin read about Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal breaking up. Howard said she seems pretty sexless so he'd just bang her and move along. He said Jake is getting a lot of action. Robin said he usually stays with people longer. Howard said he doesn't imagine Taylor being dirty in bed. He said he thinks that Reese Witherspoon is a pig in bed.

  Robin said that Ryan Reynolds is with Sandra Bullock from what she's reading. He was dating Scarlet Johansson. Robin said that they worked together on a movie.

  Robin read about how the Writer's guild has announced their nominees for Screenplays. She read about the movies that got the nominations. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:05am.

• Wrap Up Show - Marilu Henner. 01/05/11. 10:10am
  Jon and Gary started the show talking about Marilu Henner and her amazing memory. Gary said that she was on 60 Minutes so it was a great thing that they vetted her on that show. Gary said that they wouldn't have been able to test her like they did. Gary said it is almost like a super power but he's not sure how he'd use it. He asked Jon how he would use that power.

  Jon said there are things in his life he doesn't want to remember so he's not sure how he'd remember it. Gary said it has to be tough to be in a relationship because you'd remember everything and you'd win every argument. Jon said maybe he does want that power. He said he's wondering if it really is inherited since Marilu said her son has it.

  Gary said they did a test and they found that parts of those people's brains are bigger than other people's are. They spent a minute talking about that 60 Minutes segment.

  Jon said that Howard tried to get into the sex stuff but Marilu said she didn't want to talk about it because she has teenage kids. Benjy said he got the impression she didn't want to talk about it because of her husband.

  Benjy said he finds it disgusting when a woman takes a giant dump so he doesn't like hearing about it. Howard was asking her about that stuff too. Benjy said he'd hate to walk into a room and see the toilet not flushed by some woman.

  Jon and Gary talked about how Marilu found the date of her in studio appearance when they didn't have it in their logs. Gary said back in those days the logs weren't very well kept. He said that they had spelled her name ''Marylou'' and didn't have her last name in there. He said they're trying to go through the old logs and fix things like that.

  Jon took a call from a guy who corrected Gary about the brain thing and how it's actually them using a larger part of the brain. He also talked about the Steve Brandano thing and how he thinks that it might be because he's a small guy. He said Steve has an anger problem. Steve said the things that have come up in the last two days have shown he's trying to defuse things. He said he's not trying to start fights.

  Jon said that people haven't seen this passionate side of him so it raises a flag when he gets so upset. Steve said if he was an angry drunk he would have punched Gange that time. The caller said that when you get older you mellow out and you don't want to punch someone out. The caller said that he's way out of bounds and he may change once someone takes it out of him.

  Gary said that Sal came up to him and said that he was right about when you get punched in the face you shut up. He said that slowed him down when he got punched. Gary said Sal will tell that story on the show later on. They went to break after that.

• Wrap Up Show - Sal And Richard. 01/05/11. 10:30am
  After the break Jon had Sal and Richard come in to talk about their big day on the show. Sal said it wasn't big. He said they were just doing their jobs. He said it was nice mixing it up with the big cheese though.

  Jon asked Richard about working during his vacation and how he stated his case on the show. Richard said that he has a passion for music so that's just something he enjoys doing. Richard talked about how he hasn't seen any money from the album yet. He said that he loves doing it so he doesn't mind that he hasn't seen money yet. He said he is getting money but it's from the merchandise.

  Gary asked Richard about the number of albums he's sold and how much money they must be getting. He figured that they made about $200,000 from the album but where does that go? Richard said that there are a lot of costs in making the album. He said that they are doing good with the merchandising though. He said that the money won't start coming in right away. He said it might take 6 months to a year before you see royalties.

  Benjy asked if he's up or down with the net. Richard said they're a little down but they're on their way to up. Richard said he read a book about the music business and he's still confused about the whole thing. Gary said maybe he could have put his own money up and done the publicity there on the show. Gary said he'd be making all of the money. Richard said he didn't have the money to do that. He said the record label has put a lot of money into it. He said there's a metal scene out there that knows him from being in Iced Earth and Death. He said that he loves doing it and he's going to keep doing it. He said he had a blast making the music too.

  Jon took a call from a guy who told Richard to keep making music and not listen to Howard. Richard said the record business has changed so much that most of the people doing it are doing it for the passion. Gary said you don't make a lot on the music but you do make it on touring and merchandise. Richard said they'd sell a lot more if they were able to tour on a regular basis. He said they're selling a lot of albums without a lot of touring.

  Jon asked Sal how much he made as G-Man. Sal said he lost $7,000. He said that it was all a big scam. Sal said he knows how the scam works now and it's actually brilliant. Gary said it's really not that brilliant. They just took Sal's money. Sal said that he thought he had made it when he got the meeting with the record guy. He said that he saw him in a picture with John Denver and Bill Cosby and he figured he was making it.

  Jon asked Sal about how he learned his lesson getting punched in the face. Sal said that was in his G-Man days. Gary said there were no ''G-Man days.'' Sal said he was in the Circuit Breakers too. Jon asked how the G-man thing began. Sal said he loved rap music and he dated a girl whose father was an engineer at Sugar Hill Records. He said he saw Mellie Mel recording some stuff. He said he was blown away by that stuff. He said he was writing a song for Miami Vice and he got the yellow note pad with his notes on it. Sal said his first rap name was Cool The Candy Rapper. He said that G-Man came later. He said that it was a little edgier than the Candy Rapper name. He said the G stood for his last name, Governale.

  Benjy asked Sal if he rapped about his life. Sal said he was using the words that all of the rappers were using. He said his dad was encouraging him to do this too. He said he had to take out a loan to pay for it. His father didn't even loan it to him. Sal said he paid for this scam on his own. He paid it back $100 a month.

  Sal said they used to go to a club in Huntington, Long Island. He said there were some seedy people there and there was a guy there who was smacking guys in the back of the head. He said he knew not to look at the guy so he stayed away from him. Then he goes outside at the end of the night. He said the guy was outside and he said to his friends to give him the keys to the car. Sal said he avoided him all night but he started to rap for the guy doing his G-man rap. He said the guy came to his face and started rapping back to him. Jon asked if he remembers his rap. Sal said he remembered it was probably one of his Cool the Candy Rapper songs. He said the song was ''Meant to Chill.'' He said he was drunk and just having fun with the guy. He said the guy rapped back in his face and he went back to his face again and his friends started saying that he had just taken this guy out. Sal said he said to the guy ''Your mother's so old she looks like a prune.'' The guy punched him out right there. He said he was knocked right out. Sal said he asked the guy why he did that. The guy said that he can't talk about his mom because she raised him for 9 months.

  Richard asked Sal what word he was going to rhyme with ''prune.'' Sal said he had no idea and then realized what Richard was talking about. Gary asked about this song that he was rapping to this guy and what kind of lyrics were in it. Sal said he doesn't remember them all.

  Sal said he learned a lesson to stay away from groups that rap. Gary asked if that's all he learned. Sal said he also wrote a song about that experience but he can't say what the title is. Richard said that it has something to do with the word they're taking out of the Mark Twain book. Sal said that was the time when the word was acceptable to use. He said that the title of the song was ''I Got Punched In The Face By A (N-word).''

  Sal said that he went to this guy who had a recording booth in his record shop. He said he penned up his song and went to this place to record the song. Sal said he went in and recorded the song. He said that ended up in his buddy's car. He said that the song ended up getting stolen by a bunch of black guys who stole the radio out of his buddy's car. Sal said that he had never revealed that before because he was afraid of the guys coming after him.

  Gary asked Sal for the lyrics to the song. Sal said he can't say the song because they're all wrong. Then he started to recite the lyrics and they were all racial slurs for African Americans. Sal said he learned another lesson about leaving songs like that in someone's car.

  Sal said he never had a racist bone in his body until this incident happened. He said that they wrote the song and he's not very proud of that. Sal said that he's not really ashamed of it either though.

  Jon said that he must know that the song was racist. Sal said he knows it wasn't right. He said that it's a racist song but it was just funny and a goof. Sal said that he got ''beat up by one'' so that's why he wrote the song. Sal said that they saw the guys running from the parking lot that day so it looked like they had taken it. He doesn't even know. They had to take another quick break after that.

• Wrap Up Show - More With Sal. 01/05/11. 10:50am
  After the break Jon brought up Sal's use of Propecia. Sal said that anything can cause cancer so he wants to look good even if he's going to die. Sal said he likes looking good. He said that Gary got his teeth fixed so he's just trying to save his hair. Gary said that not everyone was saying that he was losing his hair. Sal said that Ronnie was breaking his balls and other people mentioned it. Gary said he didn't even look into it legitimately. Gary said that he's just taking some weird shit that he got from India. He said it's not even regulated stuff. Sal said it is working though. He said his buddy got some pills for his cock from that web site. He said that he went to the web site and they sell everything there. He said he went for Propecia and they sent it to him.

  Gary asked Sal how he got this stuff. Sal said they have a doctor there and you tell him what your problem is and they send it to you. Jon said he also smokes that fake cigarette and that's no good for you either. Sal said it's all good. He's feeling fine too.

  Richard said it is funny when Sal smokes those things while he's watching porn and pulling clips. Sal said he's been having digestive problems lately and he's not sure if it's the Propecia. He said he gave up caffeine and started drinking chamomile tea. He said he has coffee flavored tobacco juice too so he has his coffee that way. Richard said he tried talking him into using that stuff because they have pumpkin flavored stuff.

  Gary said he's worried about the fake smoking thing more than the Propecia. He said that they think that stuff is bad for you and he'd almost rather have Sal smoking real cigarettes. Sal said that they're making money from it so the tobacco companies don't want it out there. Sal said that they found the liquid had transmission fluid in it and that's where it all got started. He doesn't think that it's in the stuff he uses. Jon said that they tell you to stay away from pregnant women when you're on that Propecia though. Sal said that he's doing fine though. Sal said that you only live once so he's going to do what he wants as long as he's around. Sal said he's into holistic medicine these days too. Gary said he smokes liquid plastic so how can he be into that? Sal said he wanted to clear his mind so he got a book that helps you tap into your subconscious mind. He said that you close your eyes and do a meditation like thing. He said you try not to think all of the negative thoughts. He said he's trying to reprogram himself in that way. They had to end the show a short time later.

• Eric The Midget Actor Goofs On Jeff The Drunk. 01/06/11. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A ''Napoleon Dynamite'' movie clip, a ''Baba Booey'' prank call to Prince Charles, a George Takei song parody, Billy Joel performing ''Downeaster Alexa'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about the new speaker of the house who cries all the time. Howard said the guy cries all the time. He said the dude has to get over it. Robin said he apparently cries a lot when he's at work. Howard said the guy is freaking him out. His name is John Boehner. Howard said they say ''bay-ner'' but it's ''boner.''

  Howard said he saw the swearing in of the new governor there in New York. He said the guy came on kind of strong. Howard said he sounds a lot like his father too. Howard said they say in the paper that the state is in trouble because of this one dude Sheldon Silver. Howard said he has no idea even who the guy is. He does know that he wasn't even looking at Governor Cuomo though. He said he kind of likes discord like that.

  Howard said they had Eric the Midget taunting Jeff the Drunk during a news report. He said he liked that. Jeff the Drunk was scammed by someone and he didn't ended up on the WWE like he thought. They had Eric on the phone taunting Jeff about that. Howard played some of that news report where Eric calls Jeff and tells him he knew he wasn't going to get on that show. Jeff told him that no one even likes him and he's a midget. Howard said he loves that. He played some more of the arguing. They were going back and forth about the WWE thing. Then they had Eric call Jeff back and goof on him some more.

  Howard said meanwhile Eric falls for every phony phone call. He said they pranked him about Carrie Underwood and she was having phone sex with him. Robin said Sal pranked him about a Wizard of Oz movie remake. Howard played the prank call they made to Eric telling him they had Carrie Underwood on the phone. Eric fell for that back when they did that.

  Howard said it was so obvious it wasn't her. Robin said he had to know that it wasn't her right away. She wouldn't have said he had a sexy voice.

  Howard got back to the Eric and Jeff calls. Jeff got upset with Eric and said that if it was Sal and Richard then ''fuck you Howard Stern.'' Howard said that Sal and Richard were not behind that hoax. Howard played more of the clip and Jeff starts coughing uncontrollably. Eric told Jeff that he's much better at recognizing voices. He said he calls Richard on it when he hears him doing a voice. Jeff said he's really good at figuring out Richard ain't a girl. Jeff then cough/laughs out of control again. Howard said that's not even human. He's never heard a sound like that before.

  Howard played more of the Eric prank call where they had him thinking he was on the phone with Carrie Underwood. She asked him if he had ever been mistaken for a leprechaun and Eric says she's got a pretty voice. Then she tells him to take off his diaper and to stab her with his shrinky dink. She asked him if he was going to fuck her on the first date and Eric said no. Howard said he's a douche. She had him doing all kinds of goofy stuff.

  Howard said he likes that Eric was yelling at Jeff about getting fooled. The Carrie Underwood chick asked Eric to rub his Smurf cock on the phone. Howard laughed as that clip was playing. Then the Carrie Underwood chick says she can hear it rubbing. Howard said people have to use that phone. Howard let it play some more and the woman tells him to say he wants to fuck her. Eric did that but he was whispering.

  Howard wondered why Eric doesn't think he's gullible. He played another prank call where Sal called Eric as a guy from Dreamworks studio telling him about a role they had for him in a Wizard of Oz remake. Howard played a little bit of that and said it goes on and on.

  Howard said Eric refuses to call into their show anymore. He said he does like hearing him talking to Shuli in the news reports though.

  Howard said that Eric has been doing some YouTube stuff and he's posting movie reviews and he's been talking about why he won't come on the show anymore. Howard said there's a new clip out where he addresses the rumors that he's dead. Howard said that Eric doesn't look good because his face looks blown up. He said it might be the shitty camera he has. He said he is alive and he loves the little guy. Howard said Eric looks worse than usual though.

  Howard had some of the audio of Eric talking about how he wants to do movie reviews as a regular thing on the JFSC. He went to see True Grit. Howard said it went on and on. He said Eric also wants people to pay for his movies. Howard said as it goes on Eric talks about how he has a wish list and he's looking for people to pay for his stuff. Howard said he's like an internet pan handler. Howard played that clip. Eric was saying that he'd like people's assistance and gave out his wish list information. He said he has Fandango gift cards and gift cards to Regal Cinema. Howard said the guy is a shnurer.

  Howard played a clop where Eric told people to bother Johnny Fratto about the movie reviews and tell him they want to hear more. Eric was also saying that he'd like to do interviews. Howard wondered what else he'd like people to do for him. Howard said the guy is a very busy guy. He wants people to buy him equipment too. Eric talked about his wish list and asked his fans to buy him some video cameras and equipment for doing his interviews. Eric said he has an EVO phone that has a good camera on it. JD said he wants the equipment so he can do red carpet interviews. JD laughed when he said that. Robin thought Eric said he had an ''Evil phone'' when he said EVO.

  Howard played more of Eric talking about going to see the movie ''Little Fockers'' or something else. Howard said it sounded like he said fuckers. Eric was also talking about going to see the Yogi Bear movie. Howard said he heard it sucked.

  advertisement

• Howard Watches Little Caprice While Beth Is Away. 01/06/11. 6:25am
  Howard said he was up late last night so he's tired today. He said that he got into that Paula Abdul dance show and he had to watch even though he doesn't care. He said it's basically American Idol with dance. Howard wondered how these people work who do the dancing. He and Robin were talking about these guys who were on the show talking about the dancing they do and how they do it. Howard said they're not going to have a job and they should just stop dancing. He said they're large groups of interracial guys who are spending their spare time dancing. He said he doesn't understand that.

  Howard said that one girl was dancing and ended up hitting her head which led to a big welt on her head. Robin said she didn't see that episode. She saw the results show.

  Howard said he was home alone last night so he was on that YouPorn site again. He said he's into this girl Little Caprice. Howard said when you get into the world of YouPorn you see the description of the video. He said that he reads those and just wants to see her getting fucked. He said he read one about this 18 year old getting fucked hard so he checked that one out. He said they claim she's 18 but she must be older. He said that she's hot though. He said that's his girl.

  Howard said he goes on his iPad and he uses that to watch this stuff. He said he keeps that thing in his bathroom and he balances it on his leg while he's doing this. Howard played some of the clip for Robin but she said she feels sad for him. Howard said that wasn't the clip he watched last night. He said the clip he saw was much more on her. He said that they did show a little too much of her vagina though. There was another clip where this guy was eating her out and the guy looks retarded. Howard said she's hot though. He said he can't believe she's in porn.

  Howard said he blew his load and it hit the chair. He said he had to clean up and ended up talking to the chair. He said he told the chair it was going to get Beth pregnant if he didn't clean it up. Robin said the decor of the room Caprice is in just turns her off. Howard said he doesn't even notice that. Howard said he was so humiliated after he was done he erased all history of what he was looking at. He said that he made it look like he was looking at Apple stuff on Apple's web site.

  Howard said if he had that stuff at the age of 15 he would have had it made. Howard said it's a great teacher for how to fuck. Robin said that Richard lived with his porn for a long time. Howard said he didn't know what he was doing at 16 and 17 so this would have given him some lessons. He said that he wouldn't have been fumbling around if he had seen videos like this. He said it's embarrassing.

  Howard said he had sex when he was a kid and he was shaking and cold and didn't know what to do when he was in the water with this chick. Robin said there's nothing in these films that women want. Howard said the guy was licking her. Robin just sighed.

  Howard said Richard and Sal found a web site where they have video for gay guys who like to have sex with animals. Howard said he went to the web site but they didn't have a log in so they had to wait for Tim Sabean's credit card to get in. Howard said Tim is going to end up going to jail for this stuff and he won't even know why.

  Howard said that there's video of a guy with his mouth on a horses's asshole. He said there's another one where a woman is getting fucked by something that looks like a bear. He said they have women getting fucked by dogs and stuff too so it's not all gay stuff. He said this is the end of society. He said they have video of women getting fucked by dogs. He played some audio of one of those videos. Howard said he can't even listen to that clip. He said the stuff is so out there that you can't even do anything about it.

• King Of All Blacks Foot Fetish Discussed. 01/06/11. 6:40am
  Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked how long he thinks it'll be before Bubba gets mad at him. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard said he and Bubba had a long conversation over the weekend that was kind of emotional. He doesn't think Bubba holds him responsible for what happened. He said he's hoping they can still work something out.

  Howard said Bubba told him he thinks that he helped keep him in business. Howard said Bubba was out of work for a while before he started there. Howard said that helped him get more work. King said that people only appreciate him when they're working with them. Howard said he doesn't think that's the way it'll go. He said he thinks that maybe Bubba will be back on in a week or so. King said he doesn't like his show. He said it's just too brash for him. Howard said not everyone felt that way. Howard said he didn't feel that way. King said Sirius felt that way. He cracked himself up with that line.

  Howard asked King about Rex Ryan's foot fetish video. King said he understands where the guy is coming from and he could hang with that dude. Howard said guys who are into foot fetishes like stinky feet. King said he loves stinky feet. Howard said he's learning more about this stuff and how guys who are into that like stinky feet. King said he loves sweaty feet. Howard said he's so glad he's not into that.

  King said he's actually bought socks from people and he likes to sniff them. He said after he busts a load he feels like killing himself sometimes. He said he has to rub his dick against his leg too. He said he has to keep it in his underwear. Howard said King is so fucked up. He said he had a friend who had to jerk off onto his belly. He said that seems weird to him.

  Howard said he can sit in a chair and stroke that thing and he's done. King said he wishes he didn't have that fetish he has. He said that his wife helps him out with that but even she looks at him with that look like he's just an idiot. Howard told King to get his wife Jessie on the phone. King put her on the phone so he could ask her about the foot thing.

  Howard asked Jessie about what she does for him and she goes along with him. She said that she has gotten used to it and she doesn't mind when he's licking her toes. Howard asked if she's into it. Robin asked how early on she learned about it. She said it was pretty early on. Jessie said that she asked her to put her foot on him and that's when she knew. She said she didn't know he had the socks hidden upstairs. King got back on the phone and said that she's not fun like the chick in the Rex Ryan video. King's daughter was there so he put her on the phone. She said that her father is the best and he's the n-word of the year. Howard asked if she knows she has great hair. King said she's 5 years old and she has nice hair. King married a Hispanic woman just so his kids would have nice hair.

  Howard said he had to go but King asked Robin if she thinks that when a woman gets raped by a man she doesn't know, does she cum. Robin said it can happen but it doesn't mean anything. Howard wondered how a rapist gets a woman wet. Robin said it's not all emotional so it could be a physiological response. King said he lost 55 pounds. He said he has to see him. He had to get his mink coat taken in. Howard said he has diabetes so he had better lose weight. King said that he used Weight Watchers to lose it. Howard said he really had to go. King said he wants to come in and see him. Howard hung up.

  Howard said the guy just won't let him go. He said he's fascinated with the whole foot fetish thing. He doesn't get it. He said that Rex Ryan must be having fun at work now. He said when you put out a video like that it becomes a public thing. Robin said he keeps saying that it's a personal matter.

• Ron Zimmerman And Sam Simon Update. 01/06/11. 6:50am
  Howard said he got an email from Ron Zimmerman last night. He said he was reading that he and Cher broke up. He said Ron told him that he's doing fine but didn't reference Cher at all. He also said he has to go to Sam Simon's house to see what it looks like. Robin said that's what she heard too. Howard said he heard that Sam gets a third of the Simpson's money. He apparently doesn't even have to work. He said it must be a fortune. He said he got into TV production and didn't see a dime. Howard said he gets a piece of the merchandising and the guy can't stop making money from what he heard. He said he can't imagine what this house looks like. Robin said the house is ''green'' so it's ecologically sound. Howard said only people with money can do that.

  Howard said he renovated his apartment and got some ''green'' toilets and they don't flush. He said he had to flush 3 times to get rid of tissues. He said with a doody it's even worse. He had to go to break after that.

• Howard Hates People. 01/06/11. 7:00am
  After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard telling him that Howard wasn't coming back and using clips of Sal crying about it. Fred also played Robert Plant's ''I'm in the Mood'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and sang along to the song a little bit. He said he can add so much more to a song. He said he was happy for Robert when he put out the solo album. He said it must be a good feeling that he didn't need the other guys in the band.

  Howard said there was a news report about some dude and his wife who saw ''Little Fockers'' and there were two rows of teenagers at the theater who were making noise. The husband asked them to quiet down. They got all of the kids thrown out eventually so the kids waited outside and beat the guy up. Howard said Gary asked what the racial situation was. It was black teens and a whitish couple. He said that white people should know better than to shush two rows of black teens.

  Howard said just yesterday he said to his friend Pat he hates going to movie theaters. He said he stays home and watches there. He said he hates the theater. Howard said he hates people and this is why. Robin said she saw Marla Maples talking about writing songs and raising money for peace in the world. Howard told JD to find that clip or he'd get fired.

  Howard played the audio of that news report about the couple that got beaten up by the teens. Howard said that you can't shush black people in the theater. He said in Roosevelt there were kids who shot holes in the movie screen with BB guns. They had to shut it down because of that.

  In the news clip the couple were being interviewed about getting beaten up. The wife said that her husband asked them to be quiet. They ended up getting kicked out and after the movie the teens surrounded them and beat them up. Howard said it must be the worst feeling to come out and see all of the kids there. The guy who got beaten up was a Marine. Howard said that it was two rows of teens and they were probably big teens.

  Richard told Howard that going to see a movie with Richie Wilson is the best. He doesn't put up with anything. Howard said Richie has videos on his Facebook page of guys beating up other guys. Richard said that Richie has a lot of show suggestions about choking people out on the show. Richard said that Richie is really strong and he has grappled with him.

  Richard said they were at ''Drag me to Hell'' and Richie told the teens talking to shut the fuck up. Richard said that they shut up for the rest of the movie. Howard said he should become a super hero in the theater. He said he could patrol and shut people up. Howard said he could be known as Movie Master or ''The Husher.'' Richard said he could walk up and down the stairs in his Karate stance.

  Richard said there was a family in front of them at the theater with 3 babies. He said that Richie couldn't tell the babies to shut up so they couldn't do anything about that. Richard said it's best to just watch movies at home on DVD. Robin said she goes to watch movies when people don't usually go. She goes on Saturday mornings and times like that. Richard said that's the best time to go. Howard said that's not really when you want to go see movies.

  Howard played more of the news clip where this guy talked about getting beat up. They said there was a guy there who chased the teens away with a gun he had in his car.

  Richard told a story about a baby running up and down the stairs screaming. He said he got fed up and told the crowd ''Someone grab that fucking baby'' and some guy picked the kid up. JD said that he waited until a really quiet moment in the movie and yelled out ''Shut that kid up!''

  Richard said that the clip where the woman is getting fucked by the dog is funny because the woman starts yelling out the dog's name as it's fucking her. Howard said he was getting bummed out by that clip. He said he'd have to fast forward through that. Richard said they didn't get that one off the web site they were trying to get into. He said that site is called Barn Boys. The dog fucking clip was sent in by a fan.

  Howard played the dog fucking clip again and the woman is saying the dog's name ''Duke'' over and over. Richard said that the fan didn't send in the video either. He only sent the audio. Howard said he's kind of glad that someone is afraid to do that.

• Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/06/11. 7:20am
  Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa came in wearing a lot of color so Howard pointed that out. He asked if she picked that out herself. Lisa said she did. She said that Howard talked to her at the holiday party. She said they talked about a lot of stuff. They were even talking about divorce. Lisa's parents are divorced so they talked about that. Howard didn't even remember that. He said that Lisa was one of the test subjects for the party. He said that he spoke to Lisa and Fred and then Gange. He said that was insufferable. He said he had maybe a 15 minute discussion with Gange. He said even Gange was weirded out by that. Howard said Jackie thinks that he wants him back on the show after he sat down with him for a few minutes.

  Howard said he didn't remember any of the conversation he had with Lisa. Robin told him he has to be in the conversation. Howard said he kind of remembers it but only after Lisa mentioned it. Howard said he enjoyed that conversation and he wanted to make a connection. He said he tried to hear about her life. He asked how they got into her parent's divorce. Lisa didn't remember.

  Howard said they're going to have a psychiatrist test them and he knows he's going to do the worst. Howard said he was walking out of there yesterday and this attractive woman walks up to him and says hi. He didn't recognize her but it was Rikki Lake. Howard said she's looking really good. He said he should have recognized her. Howard said he must have a personality that's so arrogant and so disinterested that he doesn't remember.

  Howard said he doesn't remember anything that Gange said to him other than what he said about Beth. Robin said she was in Whole Foods the other day and she thought she knew this woman. Robin said she ran into the woman and she said hi to her. Robin said she has no idea who it was. Howard said that happens to him every minute. Howard said a woman came up to him on the street and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he had just seen her in the gym and didn't recognize her. Howard said he just has this disinterest in people. Robin said she has to tell Howard who she is sometimes. Howard said she's right. Howard said that happened with Benjy the other day when he showed up outside his apartment.

  Howard said they're all going to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. He said he knows he's mental already. Robin said she hopes she's okay. Howard said they're going to take the tests next week. They have to talk to this woman for about 30 minutes. He figured that 15 minutes isn't long enough and you could fool the doctor for that long but not for 30 minutes.

  Howard said he and Beth were talking about Lisa at the party and wondering why she can't find a man. Lisa said that the pickings are slim. She said that she'd like to know where to go to meet people. Howard said she must meet people. Lisa said she really doesn't. Howard asked if she's had any long relationships. Lisa said she has but people change and grow up. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with her.

  Lisa said she has a story about Sal and how he's going to change a lot in 2011. He's having problems with his diet and he's having a lot of wet farts. She said that he's trying to improve himself by reading ''Tapping into your Subconscious.'' She said they spoke to a dermatologist about the Propecia and how that's the right thing to use. She said he'd have to take it the rest of his life if he wants his hair to stick around. She said that the doctor said that it's safe if you get it prescribed by a doctor. Sal is buying his from overseas. Lisa said another doctor said that he should be fine because the generic versions are widely available.

  Howard asked Lisa about getting set up on a date with a fireman. Lisa said that it wasn't for her. Howard said that he can't believe that she can't find a guy. He said that there is no mystery man out there who is going to fulfill her needs. Lisa said she'll take one of those super heroes.

  Lisa said they spoke to Lance Tebo who got tickets to the Paul McCartney concert for his father. His father had cancer and died 9 days after the concert. Howard said he heard that report and it was very moving.

  Howard let Lisa go and said Lisa wants him to set her up with someone. He said he tried to set Robin up on a date and that didn't work. Robin said he didn't even think about her when he did that. Howard said he thought the guy had a good job.

• Seth Rogen Preview. 01/06/11. 7:30am
  Howard mentioned that Seth Rogen was coming in today and he wanted to see the movie. He said that the movie company sent the movie over but they wanted him to watch it yesterday. He said he didn't get a chance and they want the copy of the movie back so he can't watch it. Howard said he would never let the movie leave his hands so he's not sure why they have to have it back. Howard said that he could probably download it already if he wanted it. Everyone gets the movie in advance and he's not the leak.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked them not to have Seth on the show. He said that they have to keep it short at least. He said that most of the audience isn't going to see that movie anyway. Howard said Seth is a very interesting guy. Howard said he's not talking about the movie fro the whole interview. The caller said that he's been cutting down the interviews and Marilu Henner was great yesterday. Howard said that she'll be stopping by eventually.

  Howard said they're going to talk about the Green Hornet but the whole interview won't be about that. He said he figured his fans would know that after all these years.

• Howard's Upcoming Publicity Tour. 01/06/11. 7:35am
  Howard said he's started talking to his agent about going out and doing some promotion for the show and for the smartphone apps. He said that he's going to talk about Sirius because he agreed to do that when he signed on for another 5 years. Howard said he's doing Piers Morgan's show and they're taping it so it won't be live. Howard said he's not sure what the show is going to be like. He said he hopes it'll be painless.

  Howard said he has a bunch of meetings and he has to go meet with some lawyers. He said he'll talk about that in a few weeks. Howard said he's planning out his itinerary so he'll be on Letterman too. He said that's going to be on a Thursday in February. February 3rd maybe. He said that he wants to do Kimmel but he's not sure he wants to do a satellite thing again. He said he's not flying out to California either. Howard said he was asked about doing Conan and Jon Stewart's show.

  Howard said he wanted to narrow it down to 3 or 4 shows. He said he's not sure how much he has to talk about. He said everything is aggravating him. He said he doesn't want to do it anymore. He said he gets grumpy from all of this. Howard said he should have a press conference with everyone in one room.

  Howard said he doesn't get why Dave Letterman can't beat Leno and Nightline. Howard said he's a Letterman guy and defends him as much as he can. He said he's backing a loser though. Howard said he still has regrets about going on the air and talking about his personal conversations with Dave. Robin said he should apologize to Dave when he goes on. Howard said he should do that but his psychiatrist would probably tell him to do it off the air instead of making it into a bit.

  Howard wondered if it would be wrong to ask Dave about the couch where he had sex with the interns. Howard said he's actually uncomfortable asking about that but he probably will because he's an asshole that way. Howard said he may apologize to Dave. He said he might ask about what he did with his love nest too. Howard said that he'd like to know what's up with that room now. Howard said it's probably a room where women get spa treatments. Howard and Robin spent another minute on that and then went to break.

  advertisement

• Golden Voice Homeless Guy Not A Hoax. 01/06/11. 7:50am
  After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Japanese restaurant using Jeff the Drunk coughing clips as someone choking on Wasabe. Fred also played Pearl Jam's ''Even Flow'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said he wanted to correct something about that homeless guy with the golden radio voice. He said it wasn't a hoax like he was told. He said Steve Kingston told him it was a hoax. Howard said that guy is the reason his father told him not to go into radio. Howard said that any guy can walk in and get your job in radio. Howard said that his father told him to be an announcer. Howard said that the homeless guy is getting a lot of offers for work. Howard said they told the homeless guy that Howard Stern said it was a hoax.

  Howard said he thought Steve Kingston knew what he was talking about. He said Steve told him it was a hoax so he believed him. Howard said everyone has sent him this clip of this guy and he played some of it yesterday.

  Howard played a news report where the guy was told about what he said about it. The guy said he loves Howard and he was sorry to hear that. He said that he thinks Howard rules. The guys he was on the show with said ''No, not really'' to that comment. Howard said that they could have just said that he's at the top of his game but those idiot zookeepers had to comment. Howard said they're in Columbus yelling ''not really.'' Howard said every radio guy hates his fucking guts.

  Howard said even Jay Thomas does. He said he loves Jay but Jay doesn't like him. Howard said Jay thinks that he's been more lucky in radio and Jay didn't concentrate on the business so that's why he's not as successful. Howard said Adam Carolla thinks that he's successful because he's able to get up in the morning. Howard said everyone tells him why he's successful and they all have theories like that. He said it's always a lame reason.

• Leno Vs. Letterman. 01/06/11. 8:00am
  Howard had Vinnie Favale on the line so he told him he booked Dave. Vinnie said it's about time because they were bumming when they heard he was doing Piers' show. Vinnie also told Howard that the story about Leno and Conan is wrong. He said they're not reporting it right. Howard said that he backs Dave all the time and he tells people not to watch Jay. He said that Dave is not beating Jay. Vinnie said that they are beating Jay. Howard said he's going to tell them about some weird demographic. Vinnie said that overall Dave's numbers are up and Jay's are down. He gave Howard some detail about the 4th quarter. He said Jay is doing a 1 share and that's what Conan was doing when they fired him. Vinnie said that Leno had bigger ratings in 2008 so he's down.

  Howard said he loves Vinnie but he wants to ask him a question and wants a straight answer. Howard asked Vinnie about last week and who came in first. Howard said Jon Hein had the numbers there. Jon Hein said that Leno did 3.9 million and Dave did 3.6. Vinnie said that Jay is really destroying them. Vinnie said this is all bullshit. Howard said Jay is beating Dave. Vinnie said he's really not. He said that they're going to win and right now it's a tie. Howard asked what's higher, a 3.9 or a 3.6? Vinnie said that it's a 3.9 but... Howard told Vinnie to say that Jay is beating Dave. Vinnie couldn't say it. Howard said he wants to get Dave on top but they're not going to solve it if they ignore the problem. He said Vinnie is part of the problem and not the solution.

  Vinnie said that their competition is the DVR. He said that's what they're fighting for. Howard said that Vinnie is a great guy but he just won't admit that he's wrong. Vinnie said that their numbers are changing and they don't show the ratings in the right way. He said that they are winning. Howard said Jay had a 3.9 and Dave had a 3.6. Vinnie said that the gap is closing and they will win. Robin said that he's saying that they're like the tortoise and the hare.

  Howard asked Vinnie who will be winning if Dave has a 3.9 and Jay has a 3.6. Vinnie said if it's the whole season then they won. He said it's still too close to call right now. Vinnie said they don't go by a week, they go by the season. Vinnie said he doesn't know that Jon Hein has the right numbers. Jon said he had them off of TV By the Numbers and it's Nielson ratings. Vine said that the internet numbers aren't always right. Howard let Vinnie go and Jon said that Vinnie just can't admit that Dave lost.

  Howard asked if Seth Rogen was there yet. Gary said he was ready to go but they had to take a break first. Robin brought up Tracy Morgan and how they hadn't talked about him yet. He had a kidney transplant. Howard said that he got it from his security guard and he must have paid him for that. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.

  advertisement

• Seth Rogen Visits. 01/06/11. 8:15am
  After the break Howard came right back and had Seth Rogen come in. Fred was playing a Ted Kennedy clip as they were coming back so Howard said he misses that guy. He did a second or two of his Kennedy impression while the clip was playing.

  Howard said Seth is out promoting this ''Green Hornet'' movie like crazy. Fred had the original theme song playing as he came in. Seth said he loves that song. He said that Billy May wrote the music. He said the music is actually in the movie real quick. He said they wanted to pay tribute to the original series.

  Seth said they've heard weird shit about the guy who played the Green Hornet in the TV series but they heard that he was up to the weirdest shit. He said they tried to contact him but he's a Mormon with 5 wives or something like that. He's also a sheriff. Howard wondered if he has any money from that. Seth said he doesn't think he does since it was on for less than a season. Bruce Lee played Kato in that series. Howard wondered what happened to him. Howard had forgotten about that.

  Howard asked Seth how he's doing. Seth said he feels good. He said he's been getting a little bigger since the movie. He said that he's not able to fit into the clothes he's bought over the past few years. Howard said he will never be the thin guy. Seth said he's comfortable being the big guy. Howard said he's a stoner so it must be tough to exercise. Seth said he can exercise but not eat very well when he's stoned. Seth said that he would exercise in the morning and then sleep later in the day and wake up thinking it was just a dream.

  Howard asked if the movie theater told him to lose weight. Seth said it was actually his idea. He didn't want to be the fat Green Hornet.

  Howard said that Seth isn't the regular good looking Hollywood guy so he roots for him. He said that he's like a regular dude who works hard at it. He said he wrote this movie and he wrote ''Pineapple Express.'' Howard said Gary's son must be smoking tons of weed but Gary said he isn't. Seth said that a lot of people tell him that their kids love the movie and they don't think that they're smoking. He said if they weren't interested in smoking weed they will be.

  Howard said that someone named Seth the hardest working guy in show business. He said that he's been in a lot of movies. Howard had an article about him and they say that Forbes was the magazine that named him the hardest working. He was in 10 films and they all made over $10 million. He beat out Morgan Freeman for that honor. Howard said Seth is writing these movies too so that's really hard working. Seth said they love writing and they can do that from home. He said he and Evan Goldberg write together. He said Evan isn't in any of the movies but they went to school together. He said he's known him since he was 12.

  Howard asked if Evan is jealous of him making more money than him. Seth said that he's not that upset about it but they do have to try and work things out so Evan can make more money. Seth said he does have much nicer stuff than Evan does but Evan grew up with really nice stuff so they're just catching up to each other.

  Howard asked Seth if he was into the Green Hornet as a kid. He said he really wasn't. He said he didn't like the Green Hornet but a lot of people did. Seth said that their movies are always about 2 dudes working out their relationships so they picked the Green Hornet because of that. Seth said they got this guy Jay Chow to play Kato. He said the guy is like the most famous guy he's met in his life and he had never even heard of him. He's big over in Japan. Howard asked him about Christoph Waltz who is in the movie too. Howard said he loves that guy.

  Seth told Howard he just saw Howard's movie again recently. Howard said he would like to do another movie but he just got a couple of scripts that were the biggest pieces of shit. He said he's not sure he should talk about them. He said if anyone makes them they'd have to be insane. He said he read the whole script too and it was really shitty.

  Seth said that Puff Daddy asked him why no one puts him in their movies. Seth told him that they're terrified of him and they don't think he's into working with them. They're the same way with Howard. Howard said he'd like to do another movie if it's a good script.

  Howard told Seth about how he lived at Silvercup Studios while he was making his movie. He said that it was crazy how much they put into it. Seth said that Howard has a good track record so maybe he shouldn't make anther one. Howard said he could never make another one that good again. Seth said the odds are stacked against him.

  Howard asked how long it took to write Green Hornet. Seth said it took a few years. He said it was a pretty big movie to write. He said getting the movie made in the way they wanted wasn't easy. He said the director was great and he knew how to do the effects. He said that Cameron Diaz is in it too. Howard said he's rooting for Seth because he's marrying this girl that he thought he'd be breaking up with during this movie. Howard said he's shocked by his maturity. Howard said he knows from Benjy working on the show that they can get tons of pussy. Seth said his friends get laid thanks to him. He knows what that's like.

  Howard asked if he has chicks hitting on him all the time. Seth said that some do and it's shocking to him. Seth said that women do it in front of his ''fucking girlfriend'' too. He said they'll be out to lunch and a girl will pass him her number. He said it doesn't happen often at all but it does happen. Howard asked if he realized that he just called her his ''fucking girlfriend.'' Howard said he should maybe act out his fantasies before marrying her. Seth said he watches a lot of porn and he uses YouPorn like Howard does. Seth said it's awesome that they whack off to the same shit.

  Howard asked if he's ever considered cheating. Seth said no way, especially after this Tiger Woods thing. Howard asked if he's going to get a pre-nup. Seth said he's not. Howard said he has to get one. Howard said that he has to look at Kelsey Grammer and how he had to pay like $50 million. Seth said his business manager told him that too. He said that marriage can be expensive and if he loses millions then it'll be the best millions he's spent.

  Howard asked Seth if he really put a ring on his girlfriend's nipple when he asked her to marry him. He said he didn't really do that. He said that was a joke. He said that he bought her a ring and he had never held anything that expensive in his hands before. He had driven cars that expensive but not a ring. Seth didn't want to say what he spent on it though. Seth said he couldn't even wait until after dinner to ask her. He said they ordered in and he came in with the ring and she was in her underpants with her tits out and he just went for it.

  Howard said he was really nervous when he proposed to Beth. He said he told her that they should be naked when they did it. Howard said he suggested that they get nude and it had nothing to do with anything. Howard said he was all nervous when he did it. Seth said he was too. Both of them said they had nothing profound to say when they proposed either.

  Howard asked Seth when he's getting married. Seth said that he doesn't want to say the date because of the paparazzi. Howard said he's pretty sure that he wouldn't have to worry about that. Howard asked if he's going to have any celebrities at his wedding. He said he probably will have a couple. Howard asked if he's going to have Cameron Diaz there. Seth said probably not. Howard said if he did he could have A-Rod there. Seth said that he's okay with not having huge stars there. Howard asked who he'll have there. He mentioned James Franco and Jonah Hill. He said they're stars to him.

  Howard asked Seth about Green Hornet and how it's testing. Seth said it's testing good and the studio thinks that it's doing well. He said that the studio knows it's good and now it's up to them to sell it. He said he's doing every talk show in the universe himself but it's falling on both him and the studio. Seth said that they're the people who will hire him again so as long as they think he didn't fuck up, he'll be okay.

  Howard said the movie looks good from what he's seen. Robin said she liked the trailers. Seth said that he's slowing down with the movies for a while. He said that he wants to make sure the stuff he's in is going to be good. He'll probably take some time off after this movie comes out. Seth said he doesn't go away that much since he travels so much when he's out promoting. He said his girlfriend writes screenplays too. He said he's not sure if he'd work with her. He said that could be a bad idea.

  Howard asked why he was the first guest on Conan's new show. Seth said that it was slightly backhanded. He said they didn't want to make it seem like a big event show so they got him to be on it. Howard said that's a brilliant move. Seth said they wanted it to seem like any other night's show. Seth said that's exactly what he provided for them.

  Howard said that everyone wants Tom Hanks on their first show but he's always a bore. Seth said that he was complimented and kind of almost insulted by the offer to do Conan. Howard said it's cool he was on the new show first. Seth said the show felt good and it was like Conan's old show.

  Howard asked Seth about how he got the job writing the movie. Seth said he got a call from his agent and then they had to pitch their take on the movie. He said that they were told they wanted to make the movie and they told the studio they wanted to do it like a buddy movie. Seth said they were going to make it an action comedy kind of movie. Howard asked what kind of routine they had. Seth said they would work it like a real job but they'd smoke some weed before they wrote. Howard said he must have a medical condition. Seth said that it's the craziest thing he's ever seen. Seth said that you can go into a store and buy that stuff in California. He said that you can't walk around on the street smoking but you can buy it in a store.

  Howard wondered what the deal is with that. Seth said that they want you to prove you have a prescription for it so you'd have to go to court over it. Howard said that some people give themselves insulin in restaurants and that's pretty wild.

  Howard asked Seth what kind of weed he likes best. Seth said there was no such thing as Pineapple Express when they wrote that movie. He said now there is. He thinks that's a huge compliment. Seth said they have it all in jars and they take it and measure it all out for him. Seth said that he will walk in and tell them that it's because of him that they have that brand. He said he has tried it too and it's good.

  Howard got back to the writing process. He asked if they set up a time to write. Seth said it's casual but they do set a time. He said that they'd do it around 9 or 10. He said they spent a lot of time outlining the movie. Howard asked if they write a bunch of pages and then send it to the studio. Seth said you outline it and they give notes on that and then they write the script. That's generally how it works. Howard said he must know how to write a script. Seth said they got scripts when they were young and they kind of mimicked that. He said it's not all that hard to figure it out.

  Seth said that Judd Apatow helped him out when they were working on ''Undeclared.'' He said that it was really helpful doing that. Howard asked if he could quit and just smoke weed all day. Seth said he could but he'd rather keep making movies. Seth said it's difficult at times to make a movie like this. Howard asked if he had two scripts like one that the studio wanted and the one they wanted. Seth said that they actually did. He said that they had one they'd give to the Studio and one that they'd give to the actors the night before they'd shoot.

  Howard asked if Cameron Diaz was their first choice of the chick in the movie. Seth said she was. He said that they didn't have any money at first but when the studio came up with more money they got Cameron.

  Howard asked Seth what his medical disorder is for the marijuana prescription. He said he thinks it's anxiety. Howard said that Seth is only 28 and he thinks that they're like the same age. Howard said he forgets how old he is. He said Seth kind of looks his age.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he might be the most humble guy in Hollywood. Howard said that's why he roots for the guy.

  Another caller said he can't wait to see the movie. He asked if he's doing a Pineapple Express 2. Seth said they have talked about doing that. He said that it made like $100 million. He said they made it cheap and it did very well so it could happen. Howard said he's had a lot of successes. He asked if Sandler got upset that he did the one with him and it didn't do very well. Seth said he didn't get the blame for that one. He was like 5th in line to get blame.

  Anther caller asked if he's ever tried the Afghani cush. Seth said he has tried it. He said that it can come from Afghanistan but these days it might be coming from other places.

  Howard asked if he's tried that Salvia stuff. Seth said he's seen what it does to people and it scared him off. He said that it makes you feel like your skull is thrown into outer space after being ripped off your neck. He said it hits you really fast and then goes away like instantly. Howard said it sounds like Acid. He said he tried that and it was bad news. He said it can really fuck you up for years.

  Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he ran into that bitch Catherine Heigle. Seth said he has said his peace already. He wasn't going to bad mouth her after she bad mouthed him.

  The caller asked if he uses a vaporizer. Seth said he doesn't trust them for some reason. He said they kind of freak him out.

  Another caller asked Seth if he did a lot of hallucinogenic when he was in high school. Seth said he did some mushrooms in high school but his buddies did other stuff (Ayahuasca). He said the stories he heard really freaked him out. Howard said he took peyote once and he took it in pill form. He said that he took it with the Scotch Tape on it.

  Howard took another call from a guy who asked Seth about the synthetic marijuana called the spice. Seth said he has heard of it. He said he hasn't tried it. Howard asked why he hasn't tried it. The caller said that it's great if you're on probation because it doesn't show up on a piss test. The caller said that he's on probation for a DUI. Seth said that his pot smoking kind of annoys his parents at this point. He said that some people are happy he talks about it though. Howard said that some people are asked by their agents not to talk about it. Howard said he was told not to talk about it years ago when he was out in California and smoked it. He said that he got bummed out after taking 3 hits. He said his agent had to bring him back to his room and he got a lecture from him. He said that he was afraid it was going to get out that he couldn't handle it.

  Howard said that some of the studios must be afraid of Seth in some way. Seth said he has gotten a comment here and there. He said they do throw it in his face once in a while. He said he always says no when they ask if he's baked. He said that's the number one rule about smoking weed. You never admit it. Seth said he has never admitted it.

  Howard said he's happy to have Seth on the show. He said he looks at him like a number one guest unlike Conan. Seth said he likes being there and if he ever relaunch's for any reason, he'll be there for him. Howard said Seth is actually his first in-studio guest since they got back from vacation on the new contract.

  Seth was on his way over to do Regis and Kelly so Howard mentioned that Kelly's husband Mark had performed his wedding ceremony because he's an ordained minister. Seth said he'd have to ask him about that.

  Howard was going to wrap up but he asked Seth if the movie is in 3D and found out it is. Seth said that it's good 3D but you don't have to see the movie in 3D to enjoy it. Howard had to wrap up and go to break a short time later.

  advertisement

• Howard 100 News, Wrap Up Show And Superfan Roundtable Previews. 01/06/11. 9:15am
  After the break we heard a prank call the guys had Big Foot and Blue Iris make to some guy. Fred also played Queen's ''Another One Bites The Dust'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric who did a live interview with Len Berman last night. Steve said Eric had a lot of questions for Len. Steve said Eric is also a regular caller on an Oregon radio show called The Donkey Show. He's been asking them for a job and for money.

  Steve said that some poser is using a picture of Jared Fox to lure women on a dating site. Howard said no one has ever done that with his picture. He can't imagine why. Steve said that a private investigator has offered to help find out who this weasel is.

  Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. He had a bunch of things that they were going to try and cover today.

  Mutt from Superfan Roundtable called in with his show preview. They're going to have Tim Sabean on tonight to talk to the fans. That's tonight at 7 on Howard 101.

• Robin's News. 01/06/11. 9:20am
  Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard asked Robin if she's watching that show ''Strange Addictions.'' Robin said she saw a little bit of it yesterday. She saw a girl eating a side of a pool. Howard said he saw one where a girl ate toilet paper constantly. Gary said she says the best place to eat it is in a movie theater. Howard said it was so disturbing that he couldn't watch it. He said it was just so sickening. Robin saw a woman eating things that smell good to her. JD said the show aired last night and they had a woman on who is addicted to eating household cleanser.

  Howard had Robin get to her news. Robin started off with a story about Tiger Woods and how he's so damaged now that they put out a golf game every year with him on it but now they don't put him on the cover anymore. They still use his name but not his image on the cover. Howard said Tiger didn't win one tournament last year.

  Robin said that Camille Grammer was on Housewives of Beverly Hills but she's not coming back for the second season. Robin said she was having a feud on the show and she was getting a lot of criticism for having 4 nannies for 2 children. Howard said she's not coming off well in the show. Robin said they say she turned down a $30 million divorce deal from Kelsey Grammer but they're not sure what kind of deal she ended up making. Howard said she could never have amassed that kind of money herself.

  Howard said he went shopping yesterday. He said he wanted a pair of shoes he liked and it was a pain in the ass. He said that he went to this store that's really fancy. He said that he was like the only one in there and they take up the whole store with like 5 times. He said the saleswoman was very attractive too. Robin said that's the way it is in all of those stores. The store name was Cesare Paciotti.

  Howard said he went in and tried on the shoes and the woman was helping him out telling him they look so good on him. He said he'd hire her if he had a store. He said the shoes didn't fit right but she was so complimentary. Howard said she was going to go stretch them for him and he knew she was just going to disappear for a few minutes and not do anything. She said that she could stretch them all night then. Howard said she took them down and he tried them on again. He said that it did seem to make a difference. He may have wanted to just please her though. She was so sexy that he was willing to hang out waiting another 10 minutes to stretch the shoes. Howard said he knew they weren't going to fit. Howard said they were half boots and they were really nice. He said he didn't end up getting them. He said he told the sales woman that she was very nice and he wanted to buy them, mainly because of the saleswoman, but he couldn't buy them. He said they're just not big enough.

  Howard said shopping is such a pain in the balls. He said he can't tolerate more than what he went through. Howard said there was another guy trying to squeeze into a pair of shoes. He said he looked like an older man. Robin said he was probably younger than Howard. Howard said he could have been.

  Robin got back to her news and read about the two winners of the Megamillions lottery winners. Robin said that each one is wroth $190 million before taxes. Howard said they'll still have 30,000 left after that. Robin said the two winners are from the Pacific North West and they don't know who they are yet. Robin said they say that money is a curse to those who come from nothing.

  Robin read about the homeless man with the golden voice getting a lot of job offers. Robin had some audio of him talking about the offers he's getting. Robin said he's got a job and even a house thanks to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Howard said he's not that interesting anymore now that he's got a job. Robin had some audio of him talking about how he gets to see his estranged mother now. Howard said he does have a great voice and he's happy for him. He said it kind of pisses him off that anyone can do radio like that.

  Howard said he was tapped to be on one of these judging shows and he would have insisted that they make this homeless guy a host. He said he'd love to see Ryan Seacrest become homeless. Howard said he was told it was a hoax and it turns out Steve Kingston was wrong about that. Howard played the news report where they mentioned Howard saying that it was a hoax. That got Howard all worked up again about the Dave and Jimmy show. He said that he hasn't done anything to them. He said they just say ''Not really'' when the homeless guy says Howard rules.

  Robin read about how American Idol is gearing up for a new season. Robin said they're revamping the show and Steven Tyler is the new Paula of the show. Howard wondered if he's wearing hot outfits. Robin said that J-Lo is the one giving all of the advice and Randy is still doing the Randy thing. They spent some time talking about that and about Paula's new dance show. Howard goofed on the dancers in that show again for a few minutes.

  Robin read a story about Mariah Carrey posting a picture of her new car that her husband bought for her. Howard said that he probably used her money to do that. He said that dude thinks he hates him but he rally doesn't. He said he never even thinks about the guy. Howard said that it's probably a good idea to keep things low key and not brag about spending $380,000 when the economy is so bad. Howard said he bought his wife a subscription to People magazine for Christmas.

  Robin read about how Elizabeth Edwards cut her husband out of her will a week before she died. Howard said that's not surprising. Howard asked if John Edwards is raising their kids now. Robin said she would imagine so. Robin said that Elizabeth left her things to her 3 kids. She cut John out completely. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Montel Williams who got a drug paraphernalia charge. He was busted at an airport for carrying that stuff. He had to pay a $484 fine.

  Howard took a call from a guy who was asleep. Robin asked if they should be insulted. Howard said of course they should. This guy fell asleep while listening to the show. He was up in Canada though so Howard figured that had something to do with it. Howard kept him on while Robin did more news.

  Robin read a story about the People's Choice awards. Howard said he missed that. He would have watched if he knew it was on. Robin had some audio of Adam Sandler accepting an award on that show. The caller was still snoring on the phone. Robin had a clip of Conan O'Brien being voted best talk show host. Howard wondered how he got that when he's got the lowest ratings. Howard said he was thinking about doing his show but Robin told him that he's out in L.A. Howard thought he had moved back to New York. Robin had some audio of Conan accepting his award. Howard said if he had a late night show he'd just do like Jack Parr used to do and not do the stupid bits they do on those shows. Howard said they should just have conversations. Robin had a clip of Neil Patrick Harris accepting his award. Howard said he's a nice guy. He said that he's out there working like crazy and other gay guys must be upset that he can pull that off. Robin had audio of Jane Lynch accepting her award for Glee. She had a clip of Johnny Depp accepting his award and Khloe Kardashian too.

  Robin read a story about Toni Braxton starting a reality show. She's thinking of doing a Playboy spread too. Howard said she must be really hard up for work. Robin said she was asking her fans on Twitter if she should do it.

  Robin read about the doctor who is being charged in Michel Jackson's death. She had some details about that and they say that Jackson's kids watched as he laid in bed motionless.

  Howard didn't hear the caller snoring so he called out his name. He wasn't there but his phone was still up. Howard said he'd let him go.

  Robin said they convicted Howard K. Stern while they were away. She said they may only get probation or something. Howard said he was hoping he'd go away. Howard said he'd like to know why there's more than one Howard Stern in this world. He said that name Howard is just awful to begin with. Howard and Robin talked about the Anna Nicole case.

  Robin said that there's a new movie coming out with Leighton Meester in it. She had some audio of her talking about that. Howard lasted about 1 second and said he was done. He let it play through a little more after that.

  Robin read about ''The Cape'' and had some audio of the guy who plays the villain in the show. Howard said he saw the show once but he didn't get into it that heavy. He said it was really good but he didn't memorize it.

  Robin read about Betty White and how her sitcom is returning on January 19th. She had some audio of Betty but Howard said he's sick of the worship of this Betty White. Howard said it's enough already.

  Robin said she was disturbed when she read about Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds being together. She said that they're saying that the story isn't true and they're just friends. Howard said Ryan is going to be doing a lot better than Sandra Bullock. He said that this guy is a good looking dude and he's got a lot going on. He said he's going to be the Green Lantern so please... Robin said Sandra is beautiful. Howard said she is but she's not that hot. He said no one believed that he was with her. No guy anyway. Fred said he has to back Howard up on that. Howard said Ryan doesn't want to be with someone who just adopted a kid. Robin said stranger things have happened in Hollywood. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:05am.

• Wrap Up Show - Seth Rogen. 01/06/11. 10:10am
  Jon and Gary started the show talking about Seth Rogen and how he was the first guest in studio in Howard's new 5 years. He said being there is different than being on Conan as the first guest. Gary said that was wrong to tell him that he was wanted for Conan because they wanted a regular guy to keep it low key. Gary said that's what he got out of it. Benjy said he thought they just wanted a regular guy persona and it wasn't that big of a deal. Gary thought it was insulting. Jon said it is on some level but Seth is that guy and he plays into it.

  Jon asked Gary if he has ever had that kind of awkward discussion with guests where he wants someone and it's something similar to that. Gary said he hasn't really. He said when they had the Jackie Chair going he'd tell people they didn't have to be funny every minute. He said they just wanted them to fill in the silences.

  The guys talked about how Seth was there when Judd Apatow was there and they didn't bring him into the studio. Gary said he forgot about that. He said he thought it was Jonah Hill who was in the green room. Jon asked if he knew how well Seth was doing with his movies. Gary said he didn't know he had that kind of box office success.

  Jon said that Seth shared with Howard about how he proposed to his girlfriend when she was topless. Howard did it when he and Beth were naked. Gary said Howard told him he doesn't know why he did that. Jon said those are the only two proposals he's heard where the people were naked.

  Benjy said he thinks that Howard was just trying to say they were animals and why not spend their lives together. Benjy said maybe it was just cozy in bed and that's why he wanted to do that.

  Gary said he had a waiter bring his ring out to his wife. He said she's very lucky she got him. Jon said Howard and Seth have very unique stories about their proposals. Jon said that he believes Seth when he says that he's going to be faithful to that woman. Gary said he does too. He said that Seth doesn't have crazy money yet either. He does have more than his writing partner. Gary said he made that well known and gave him a hard time.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that he likes when Seth is on the show. He said he loves his movies too. The guy also asked what the chances are of getting Artie on the show. Gary said he hasn't heard from Artie for a while so that's up to Howard to answer. He said he doesn't have one for the guy.

  Jon took another call from a guy who said he met Jon at the McCartney concert. He said he can understand why he got 80 blow jobs. He said he thinks that Seth talking about smoking pot takes a lot of balls and he seems to be honest about it all. Gary said that he's even getting the pot legally.

  Gary said he was in L.A. about a year ago and he went to have brunch on the beach and he was walking on Venice Beach and saw people standing in front of this place. He said that the doctor there will give you a prescription right on the spot. He said it's crazy. The caller said he has seen people smoking it in public in California.

  The caller also said Benjy had some relevant questions on during Marilu Henner's appearance. Benjy said he'd love to get into it with her because it was pretty fascinating.

  Jon asked if Seth is making a mistake not getting a pre-nup. Gary said yes. He said that there's such a discrepancy in the money that he really should be protecting it. You'd do that in a business so why not in a marriage? Jon said that marriage is built on trust but he gets what Gary is saying.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to talk about Lisa G and why she's single. He said she has an arrogance about her and she's really just a boring, simple person. He said that she wants so much more but she doesn't have what she needs to get what she wants. Gary said he gets what he's saying. Gary said they should talk about that and tell her how she has to be more realistic. He said that a lot of people think she doesn't really care and she's happy in her life with the way things are. Gary said guys find it hard to believe that she's not happy but maybe she is.

  Jon asked Gary if he thinks Lisa is arrogant. Gary said he doesn't think so but she may be looking for someone who doesn't exist. The caller said Lisa puts herself in a different arena than where she really is. The caller said he's pretty successful and there's no way he'd date her because she doesn't bring anything to the table. He said she's nobody's type. The guys said that there are plenty of guys who would be into her type. Benjy said that she would be willing to go out with a regular guy. Benjy said he doesn't think that she's his type either. He said he'd go on a date with her and hook up with her but not marry her.

  Gary said her butt looked great the other day and he thought about dating her when he was single. He said he thought he wouldn't have because she would never have sex with him. Benjy thinks she would. He thinks she's a sexual being. Gary said that you'd have to put in the time and he wouldn't want to put that time in. Gary said he figures it would be a good 6 solid dates and that could be a month and a half. Two or three dates is the norm.

  Jon asked if there's anyone there that Lisa would go out with. The guys weren't coming up with many names. Sal was one but Gary figured he'd say something during the date that would turn her off and ruin it. They had to go to break a short time later.

• Wrap Up Show - Lisa G Discussions. 01/06/11. 10:35am
  After the break Jon took a call from a woman who said she wanted to defend Lisa a little bit. She said she's been single for a few years and just got married. She said that she's 40 and the reason Lisa is single is because the men who want to be married are already married and have kids. She said that it's hard to find guys who are available. She said it's like they're stuck in a limbo trying to find someone who is mature enough to handle a relationship. She said she had lived with several men before and they were emotionally immature. She said there's nothing wrong with that.

  The caller said that there are people who she was hanging out with who were alcoholics. She said that she thinks that Lisa just doesn't think that Lisa can find that person she's looking for.

  Gary said that he doesn't think that Lisa has ever been engaged or anything. He said that he'd rather let her talk about all of that. He said it's not for them to discuss. JD said he thinks that Lisa is just very picky. Benjy said that she would take a regular guy if he was nice and made a decent living. JD didn't think that was true. Gary said he thinks that she's looking for something more professional.

  Another caller said that maybe Lisa is into masturbation. Gary said that he thinks that she doesn't talk about that on the air. The caller said that no guy is going to want to fuck her. He said she does have a great ass though. Gary said it does piss guys off that she's not out fucking and getting married. It doesn't bother Lisa though.

  Jon asked if Gary thinks that Lisa is upset that Howard didn't remember his conversation with her. Gary said it's upsetting to anyone. He said that he's been watching the behind the scenes stuff at Oprah lately and he has to watch more because he likes to see the reactions the employees get there. He said just a few seconds of face time with Oprah means so much to people. Jon said that he's with JD on this one and it did appear that Lisa seemed upset about Howard not remembering.

• Wrap Up Show - Annoying People At The Movies. 01/06/11. 10:40am
  Jon moved on to talk about Richard Christy talking about going to the movies and bringing Richie Wilson with him to shut people up. Gary asked JD if he would ever shush anyone. JD said he's very non-confrontational so he would just sit there and stew. JD said he avoids the movies and just goes at odd times to avoid it. He said he goes to avoid the assholes.

  Gary asked JD if he likes to go to the movies alone. JD said he doesn't mind it. Gary said it seems like he avoids being around people in general. JD said that he's fine going to the theater.

  Gary asked JD if he has ever been on a date and she doesn't take it seriously when he's trying to watch a movie. JD said he hasn't been on that many movie dates so its never been a problem.

  JD told a story about going to see Transformers with Richard and they kept hearing this kid talk and Richard said ''Shut that baby up'' in a quiet moment of the movie. JD said that he had every right to be upset about that. Gary said it does suck when people aren't respectful when you go to a movie like that.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that everyone is thanking Howard for re-signing but he wants to thank the rest of them too. Gary said they're excited to be there for another 5.

  The caller asked Gary about his comments about Seth Rogen and Gary just threw Seth Green under the bus yesterday on the show. Gary said they're dicks on the show and they admit that. The caller said that Seth Green is a genius. Gary said he knows that his kids like the show but he's not sure he's a genius. JD said he's funny but he wouldn't say he's a genius.

  The caller asked if Bubba is coming back or not. Gary said he really doesn't know and he can't get a straight answer. The caller said he didn't like Bubba but now he misses him. He said it's bugging him that he can't hear the show. Tim Sabean will be on Superfan Roundtable tonight so Gary told the guy to call in and ask him what's going on.

• Wrap Up Show - Eric The Midget And Jeff The Drunk. 01/06/11. 10:50am
  After the break Jon brought up Eric the Midget and Jeff the Drunk. He said that Eric was goofing on Jeff for not knowing he was being goofed on but he's been gullible himself. Gary said that Eric did like one point better on his IQ test. He said Jeff is more street smart than Eric is.

  Benjy said that Eric claims that he's learned his lesson and he isn't as gullible. Gary said that he could throw down the gauntlet and prank Eric again no problem. He said that he could do that without a doubt. Gary said he thinks that Eric will call into the show eventually and he isn't going to avoid it for 5 more years.

  Gary said he thinks that the Jeff tape was great today. Jon pointed out that the prank call with Sal pranking Eric was a few years old and Sal was new to the show. Benjy said that you never know if it's going to be real or not so he just goes with it. He doesn't get why they think he's that gullible. JD said he thinks he is. Benjy thinks that JD could be fooled just as easy. They brought up the movie someone made for Howard's movie festival called ''Eating Fruit Salad'' where they fooled him into thinking a dude was a girl. JD told Gary to fuck off when he brought that up.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that they forgot to bring up how Brandano freaked out about the people who were going to see Iron Man. Steve said he just wanted to see it with fans. Steve said that's not that weird.

  The caller said that when Howard goes on Letterman he hopes that Dave lets Howard just go off on Leno. He said he hopes that they start a war in the late night world. Gary said Letterman and Leno have taken shots at each other. He said it would be pretty awesome if he did let Howard go off on him. The caller said that's what he'd like to hear Howard do.

  Jon asked the guys if they think Howard will reference the intern thing on Dave's show. The guys weren't sure about that. They hoped that he would.

  Jon asked why Vinnie can't read the Nielson numbers and admit that Dave is losing. Gary said he thinks that Dave's show is more clever than Jay's and he's not just saying that. Gary said he remembers watching hockey with his friends and how they would hate a player because he was dirty but you wanted him on your team. He said that's like how you want Vinnie on your team. He's always on your side.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that he bought Gary's book and read it the same night. He asked when he's doing more book tours. Gary aid they're over. He might do some in the summer but they're essentially done. The guy said he'd love to get his autograph because he got Artie's at a comedy show. Gary said that if he runs into him anywhere he'll sign it but he's not going to Syracuse. They had to end the show a short time later.

• Best Of The Week. 01/07/11. 6:00am
  This week's Best Of The Week is below. Each of the segments are linked to the archived parts above. Here's what they played:
  • Best Of The Week - Brandano Vs. Langford. 01/07/11. 6:00am
  • Best Of The Week - More Brandano Vs. Langford. 01/07/11. 6:35am
  • Best Of The Week - Seth Rogen. 01/07/11. 6:55am
  • Best Of The Week - JD's Mumbling And Benjy's Gift. 01/07/11. 7:55am
  • Best Of The Week - Marilu Henner. 01/07/11. 9:10am
  • Best Of The Week - Kathie Lee. 01/07/11. 10:00am

• Master Tape Theatre - August 10, 1995. 01/09/11. 2:40pm
  This week's Master Tape Theatre was not in my archives so I've written it up as if I were hearing it for the first time. Here's my rundown:
  • Jerry Garcia's Death Discussed. 08/10/1995. 2:40pm
  • Howard's Grateful Dead Bathroom Experience. 08/10/1995. 3:10pm
  • Howard Upsets A Listener. 08/10/1995. 3:35pm
  • Sugar Ray Visits. 08/10/1995. 4:25pm
  • Howard Goes Off On Mancow And Scott Ginsberg. 08/10/1995. 5:05am
  • Dee Snider Visits. 08/10/1995. 5:20pm
  • Miss Howard Stern 1996 Audition. 08/10/1995. 5:40pm
  • Robin's News. 08/10/1995. 6:15pm