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Howard started off the show talking about the four pages of notes he took on the Super Bowl. Howard said he wasn't going to watch but Beth convinced him that they were paying him a lot of money to watch that game. He said he's glad that he did watch it. He thought it was maybe the greatest game ever. Robin said that last year's game was better. Howard said that this one has to be the best as far as he's concerned.
Howard said he felt bad for Arizona when they blew it last night. Howard said that when he saw that guy run the whole field the way he did he thought he was going to die.
Howard said he knows that people have to make money but it's gotten so bad that you think that it's more of a commercial show and just a little bit of football. Howard said that there is some down time during the regular season when they plays are being discussed but now it's all commercials during the Super Bowl. They have like a second of football and 5 minutes of commercials. He said it makes you feel like you're watching only commercials.
Howard said that he was upset about this ''3D Chuck'' show and he's going to strangle the guy if he ever meets him. Artie said that you get a bad feeling about a show like that when they make it 3D. Howard said it did get a 3 star review in the paper so it might be an okay show.
Howard said that he used to go to management at the old radio station and complained about the 22 minutes of commercials they'd sell. He said that it was going to kill the show but they kept telling him that it wasn't killing the show and his ratings kept getting better. He wanted to stop selling everything that wasn't nailed down but they insisted on keeping them going.
Robin talked about the tennis that was on over the weekend and they went commercial free at the end of one of the big matches. She thought that was great.
Howard said that he has had offers to sell tons of merchandise with his name on it but he and his agent agreed that it's nice that he's not a whore that way. Howard said that some guys will sell anything like Mark and Brian and Bill O'Reilly who put their names on everything. He said that Mark and Brian were even putting their names on sponges.
Artie talked about how he would miss the show when he was living out in L.A. because of the amount of commercials they'd run during Howard's show. He said the commercials would sometimes last 20 full minutes and he'd tune away and end up missing a few minutes of the show.
Howard thought that Bruce Springsteen was good in the half time show. He said he actually wanted it to continue after it was over. Artie said he loved it too.
Howard said that Bruce didn't lip sync and he liked that. Howard also talked about Jennifer Hudson singing the National Anthem. He said that her mother, brother and some other family were killed and that was her first time back on the big stage after that. Howard said that it was a big deal for her to do that and she knocked it out of the park. He said that it was one of the best renditions that he'd heard. He said that Gary told him that it was lip synced and that ruined it for him. Howard said that she shouldn't have been wearing stretch pants though. He said you just don't do that when you're fat.
Howard also brought up Jessica Simpson and how she's all upset about people making fun of her being fat. Howard said that she was only known for being hot and now she's fat. Howard said that she got into a movie because she was able to look hot in short shorts. He said that she's a big star for looking hot. She can't sing, she can't act and she's known for looking hot. Howard said that she's dating a football player and he can't not be superficial himself. Robin said that he can't assume that's the case. Howard said they'll know in 6 months when he dumps her.
Howard said that Tony Romo must be thinking that she's going to get even fatter if he marries her. Howard said that he's sick of America eating so much and getting so fat. Howard said Beth was making some sauce for dinner and he was eating that and thought about having another portion during the game but stopped himself because he didn't want to be the size of a fucking elephant. Howard said that Beth suggested some snacks but he denied himself everything and just watched the game. He said he felt good not farting all night after eating. Howard said it was so nice on his system.
Robin said that the game was a beautiful production last night. Howard said that it really is amazing the way they do all of the downs on the field and stuff like that.
Howard said that John Madden was good as an announcer but he was sounding kind of weak to him last night. Robin said that she didn't think that was the case at all.
Artie said that having John Madden going over some of that stuff is great. Artie also said that he won 10 grand on the game last night. He said that he liked the Steelers in the under. He explained how he bet on the game and how he ended up winning that 10 grand. Artie said that he did this two team teaser and he was able to move the spread 4 points.
Artie went through the explanation of how he bet the game and said that he only won by half a point. Howard asked him if he gets worried when he bets with a bookie especially after he didn't get paid 70 grand by another one. Artie said that this is a different guy. He said he still sees the other guy who never paid him the 70 grand. He only got 18 grand of that and he still runs into that guy once in a while.
Howard asked Artie if he's carried away with himself now and he won't clean up after himself. Artie said that Gary wasn't paying attention to him and he was just moving papers and didn't know that Gary was going to try and clean it up. He said that he tried to clean it up himself. He didn't know it was that big of a mess.
Gary came in and said that Artie just started talking to Benjy and he saw him cleaning it up and still walked right out. Artie said that he didn't think it was that big of a spill. Gary said that he didn't make any effort to clean it up at all. Artie apologized for that. He said he was sorry a bunch of times. Gary said that he thinks that it's a slob move and not a big star move.
Howard said that he thinks that it is a slob move. Howard said he would have stayed around to clean up after himself if he had spilled it. Artie said that Gary complains about the snot rags that Howard leaves around. Gary said that it's two different things though. Artie said that Howard shouldn't leave them there. Howard said that the difference is that he sits in there and does the show and then cleans up. If he doesn't see one of those rags, he's not going to know to clean it up.
Gary said that he doesn't think that Howard knows that those rags are there. He said that he might put them down and they fall to places that he doesn't see them. Howard said that he tries to clean up after himself but he doesn't know that the stuff is there. Gary said that he'll find one or two toothpicks a week that Howard doesn't throw away.
Howard said that Artie walks out on purpose and doesn't clean up after himself. Artie said that he didn't know that it was a big spill. Gary asked how it would have gotten cleaned up if he hadn't done it. Artie said that he could let an intern clean it up. Artie said that Howard isn't even thinking about anyone else there. Howard said that if he gets some piss on his toilet he'll even clean that up. Artie said that he's the only one allowed in that bathroom so how nice of him to clean up after himself for himself.
Artie said that an intern cleaning up after him is what has been going on for a long time. Gary said that the interns have said that Artie's area is one of the biggest messes ever.
Gary asked Artie how he thought the spill was going to get cleaned up. Artie said he didn't think it was an issue. Gary said that he wanted to know how he thought it was going to get it cleaned up. Gary said that he was cleaning up after him and it was just weird. Howard said that Artie is used to his mother cleaning up after him. Artie asked him if he cleans up the back of his limo too. Howard said he actually does.
Howard said that this is a ''star move'' for Artie and he has to admit it. Artie said that he disagrees with that.
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Howard said that he was on Facebook looking up all of the chicks that he banged in his life. He said that none of them are on there. He said he was searching and wasn't able to find anyone. He said that he got all aggravated.
Howard said he was writing on Beth's ''Wall'' and she was his only friend at that point. Howard said that the next thing he knew she was telling him to go on Gary's Facebook page. Gary said that you'll find one person and then you'll get hooked in.
Howard said that the did find some people and then went on Gary's page. He posts pictures on his page and he's not sure if they're his real family or not. Gary said they are. Howard said they all look like Gary. Then he went to Ross' page and saw that he posted that he was at the Super Bowl but he already knew that.
Howard said that he didn't want to have any friends and didn't want to have people from work on there. Howard said he did befriend Scott DePace but he saw that he had this big Obama thing up. He said he knows he's into politics but he makes it his whole life. Howard said that he had this image of Obama with some Ku Klux Klan guys behind him.
Scott came in and said that he didn't even see that part of the picture. Scott said he didn't have a picture of himself to put up there and he took it down after an hour or so. Scott said that he just joined the other day and that's what he threw up there. He said he really didn't know that the KKK guys were in the picture.
Gary said that he's been talking to a bunch of stars on there. Howard said he must be on there for hours with that nonsense. Gary said it's very easy to post pictures and stuff. Howard said that people write everything on there and it's every thought they have. Howard said he gets angry when he sees it.
Howard said he saw that Benjy was posting video and stuff but he doesn't spend any time there with Sal and Richard working. Howard said that makes him angry. Gary said that it's very much like the spoiled generation and how people write about themselves and things like ''25 Things You Didn't Know About Me.'' It's all about ''me.''
Howard said that he can see that Gary is spending too much time on there and so is Mike Gange. He said that Gange is claiming that he works until midnight but meanwhile he's spending all of this time posting on Facebook.
JD came in and told Howard that Gange posted that he was going to be interviewing porn stars all day long when they were shooting ''Inside the Porn Actors Studio'' the other day. Meanwhile it was Richard who was doing all of the interviewing. Then he posted ''Long day'' after they were done with the shoot. Richard said that Gange was doing his make up that day and powdering his face. That's the long day that he had.
Gary said that they shot a bunch of those shows on Friday. They used to just shoot one. That's why they day ended up being so long. Richard said that the shows are going to air on Howard TV starting in March.
Sal came in and said that the taping went really well. He said that the porn stars come down with their boyfriends and husbands and he was the one who had to sniff their cocks. He said he sniffed one guy's cocks and it smelled pretty pleasant actually. Howard asked him why he didn't give it some soft kisses too. Sal said he was just doing it to support Richard.
Sal said that one of the girls made him sniff her fingers after she wiped them in her pussy. He said that it turns out that she had a load inside of her and he was smelling a man's jizz. Sal said that the show was out of control. The guys told Sal that he's the one who is out of control.
Howard asked Sal and Richard about what they were talking about on the Wrap Up Show last week when they talked about pissing together in the bathroom. Howard said that it's just weird. Sal said that they go together so they don't lose each other during the day when they're going to lunch. Sal said that he tends to splash a little bit and he got some on Richard. He said that's it and it's not that big of a deal.
Howard said that Sal must be bi-sexual or something. Sal said that he's not. He doesn't look at Richard's cock when they piss. Howard thanked them for coming in and tried to end it with them.
Gary said that during the 4th quarter he was able to sit in the good chairs. He said that his friend Pat liked sitting back in the stools. He liked being able to eat back there.
Gary said that Howard was getting his ass kicked in the e-mail. Howard said that he should have built that home theater the right way, that's all he's saying. Howard said that he gets what it means to have people over to watch football. Gary was saying that Howard is kind of out of touch about that. Howard said he's really not.
Howard said that if you want to watch football with friends then you watch in a bar. He said that this theater is a home theater, not a bar. He yelled at Gary to get out of there. That led to them playing a new song parody about Gary's home theater stools.
Howard had a guy on the phone who claimed to be a home theater expert. He said he runs a company that designs home theaters and he's the head of Cedia which gives out awards for stuff like that. The guy asked Gary if he has any acoustic things on the walls. Gary said he hasn't put them up yet. The guy also asked about where speakers were and things like that. He said that it appears that they have the speakers located in the wrong place and they should have been above the screen and not below. He said that the speakers are aimed at the first row instead of the whole theater.
The guy also said that the door is in the front of the room and that's wrong too. Gary said that the room was an afterthought and they weren't able to change where that door was.
The caller said that the hard surface of the bar is not good for acoustics. He said that he would have put some U-shaped couch in the back of the room instead. Gary said there was no room in the back to do that. The caller said that if they built something right up against that back wall it would have been fine.
Howard said it sounds like this guy saw the theater and laughed. The guy, Adam, said that he sees some decisions that some people wouldn't have made. Howard asked if he would have talked Gary out of the bar idea. Adam said he would have tried to talk him out of that. He said that the bar will throw things off acoustically. Gary said that no one is talking about the sound in the home theater.
Gary said that this guy would have him spending tons of money to get better sound. The guy told Gary that he could have put the speakers in the wall behind the screen of the theater. Gary said that he didn't have room to do that. The guy said that they could have gotten him in-wall speakers and subwoofers and it wouldn't have cost him any more.
Howard said that they have to rip out half of that shit. Gary said that he knows that this guy would have been expensive and he would have told him to move along if he had thrown 175 grand at him.
Howard asked Adam what the name of his company is. Adam said it's called Entertaining Spaces. Adam told Gary that the room is the most important part of the theater thing. He said that what he built is an echo chamber and he needs to soften things up. Howard told Gary that he should do it the best he can instead of having a bar in there.
Gary said that every one of these guys is different and they're all going to disagree on how to set up a room like that.
Howard told Gary that he just doesn't think a bar and stools in a home theater is right. They played another song parody about his home theater before wrapping up with that subject.
Howard had some audio from the pre-game show and was going to play that. He said that Ralph texted Beth during the Bruce Springsteen thing and said that the game was great but thought that Bruce was shitty. Howard said that's just Ralph though. He always just goes negative.
Robin said she had some other people who didn't like Bruce. She said she liked it herself. She thought that it was nice that they didn't do all of the hokey stuff that they have done in the past. Artie said that he liked it and thought that it blew away some of the other stuff they have done in the past.
Howard said that Beth got all worked up about the game and when they went to bed she hopped in and ended up bunching herself in the chest and banged her head into the headboard. Howard said that Beth was Super Bowl crazy.
Howard said that it was such a wild game. He said that it was sad that Arizona was able to come back the way they did and then blew it at the end.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Gary really has to get rid of those stools in his home theater. He told Gary that no one has that in their theater.
Howard played some of Jennifer Hudson's performance of the National Anthem. He said that if she sang it live then it's one of the best performances of the song ever. Then he said that as he was listening this morning he thinks that it was definitely pre-recorded. Howard said that if they do that then they can change the way it sounds.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to disagree with him on the Bruce Springsteen show. He said that he thought it was awful. Howard said that the guy came out and did four songs. The guy said that he could have just come out and done one song. He didn't like the way he was switching between songs.
The caller said that Elton John did some great performances a couple of years ago. He said that he did like two songs and just got off the stage.
Howard said that he's not a huge Bruce fan but he thought it was entertaining as hell. He said he would have liked to have seen the band more though. He said he barely saw Nils Loftgren. He said that Little Steven was there and he did see more of him. Howard said he kept wondering about their breath and if it smelled bad.
The caller said that when they had the ref come on and throw the flag, that was awful. Gary said that it was just 12 minutes of Bruce.
Another caller said he hated Bruce but he was never a fan. Howard said that he's becoming more of a fan of Bruce's the older he gets. Gary said that last year Tom Petty was lip syncing. Fred said that you have to do that. He said that Bruce was probably singing to a pre-recorded track.
Howard played some of Bruce's performance from that half time show. He played his whole talk up at the beginning of the half time show. They talked about Clarence Clemens playing up there on stage. Howard said that he thought it was great that Bruce played ''Born to Run'' after that 100 yard touchdown. He said he got chills when he heard that.
Gary said that the 25 people who were there for his party were all watching and enjoying the show. Howard asked Gary what his wife thought about him sitting in one of the comfortable chairs. Gary said that she didn't say anything about it. Howard told Gary that he should have been taking care of his friends.
Howard played Bruce's ''Glory Days'' and said that he was thinking about the ''Glory Gays'' song parody that they used to play on the show. Howard said that they used to do that live on the show. Gary and Fred talked about the guy they based that song on and then played the song. They talked about that story and how the guy that was accused of killing the gay guy was acquitted.
Howard said that he had to take a break. They spent another minute on that dead gay guy story before going to break. Howard said he remembered the story as the guy being guilty but they say that he was acquitted. That was from a long time ago though.
Howard said that Flavor Flav was going to be stopping by today. He said that it's always good to see him there. He played some ''911's a Joke In My Town'' as he was talking about Flavor. Howard said that it was the song of the year on his show in 1988. Howard played a cover of that song that Duran Duran did one time. Howard said he wonders if Flavor knows that they covered the song. Gary said that it sounds like a party song and Flavor Flav's sounds angry.
Robin said that the men's tennis that's been on lately has gotten really good lately. She talked about some of what was going on yesterday and said that Roger Federer ended up crying after he lost. Robin said that she was up at 3:30 in the morning watching that stuff since that's when it was on TV.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bruce Springsteen ended up slamming his balls into the cameraman when he slid on his knees. Howard said that Sal and Richard loved that shot. That led to them talking about the Tracy Morgan ''Gurgle, gurgle'' sound clip. They had a couple of Jethro Tull songs that Dan the Song Parody Man had put those clips into. They went through a bunch of those and then went to break.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. He asked her if she watched the game last night. She said that she went to bed after Bruce Springsteen. She said that she was thinking of Howard while he was playing because he's 59 years old and still working hard. She said that Howard has to keep working too. Howard said that Bruce isn't getting up at 4:30 in the morning. He said that Bruce is a rock star and he can make up his own schedule. This show that he's doing isn't that easy.
Lisa said that she went to a party on Saturday night for Lisa Lampanelli. She had about 120 people there. They watched Lisa's HBO special at the party. Lisa said that Lisa's show was great. She mentioned Howard in the show. Howard said he really has to see that.
Lisa said that they have a story about an online health blog where they recommend Howard watch his diet to get that six pack he's looking for. Lisa said that if he follows this diet plan then he'd get that six pack. Howard said that he'd lose another 20 pounds and look like he was dying if he did that.
Howard talked about these guys who have six packs and how women fall for them. He said that the women eventually learn that they're vapid and the only thing they're thinking about is that six pack. Lisa said that they have no time for you if they're that into their abs.
Lisa said that she doesn't like the six pack abs. She said that you need a little something to cuddle with there. Howard said that he's got plenty there. Howard said that he thinks that he walks all curved over because of his low self esteem. Artie didn't think that he walked slumped over. Howard said he's always been that way. He said that all of the Stern's are like snails. Howard said that he always wanted to be shorter and that might have something to do with the slumping.
Robin said that she and Howard used to see a lot of famous people at WNBC and she tried whispering to Howard but he wasn't able to hear her because he's so tall.
Lisa said that Pittsburgh is going to be hosting a free Bubbapalooza. Bubba is going to be doing that for the fans out there. Howard said he heard that Bubba's Man Party was great over the weekend. Howard let Lisa go after that.
Howard talked about the pilot of the jet that crash landed into the Hudson river. He said he thinks that guy is very cool. He doesn't do interviews and stuff, he lets his wife handle that. Artie said he was talking to the pilot of the helicopter he took home from Atlantic City over the weekend about that. He asked if it was really that big of a deal that he landed in the river. The guy told him that it was a big deal because the plane could have easily been wrecked if one wing had touched down.
Howard said that there were too many commercials last night during the game. He liked the Bud Light commercial where the guy got thrown out of the window for suggesting that they stop buying Bud Light for their meetings. Howard thought the Audi commercial wasn't that good. He said that was a waste of time. He said that NBC has to stop with the network promos because it was just too much.
Howard said that they don't let the announcers talk about the plays and stuff and they could have taken out 5 commercials. Howard said that the GoDaddy.com commercials were interesting because they had you go to their web site to see the ends of their commercials. He said that for the amount of money they paid they should have been allowed to show asshole in those commercials.
Howard talked about some of the other commercials that ran and he liked some of the Doritos commercials and the Conan O'Brien commercial. Howard said that he saw some new movies that look good. He said that Vin Diesel is doing another Fast and Furious movie and it's just the same shit over again.
Howard said that the new Land of the Lost movie looks good. He said that he saw the commercial for Star Trek and that looked good. He said he thought the Heroes promos looked good too but they have to cut back with that stuff during the game.
Howard said that the liked the Mr. Potato Head commercial where he was driving his wife around and her lips fell off. He said he didn't remember what the product was. Fred said it was Bridgestone tires.
Artie said that he saw a commercial, without the sound on, and saw some guy getting something thrown at a guy's nuts. Howard said that was a Doritos commercial.
Howard said he didn't like the horses in the Bud commercials. He didn't like the baby talking commercials either. He said he doesn't even know who those commercials are for. Howard said that he liked the Aliens vs. Monsters movie promo. He thought that looked cool.
Howard said that the Sobe commercial was a waste of money. He said he's sick of the football players ballet dancing shit. He said that it's a cliché and he's sick of that shit.
Howard said that he must have missed the MC Hammer and Ed McMahon commercial when he walked out of the room. He said that he was sorry he missed it because they say that it was one of the best commercials. Artie said that he missed that one as well.
Howard said that he was guilted into watching the game last night by Beth. He said that he did like Bruce Springsteen too. He knows that some of the fans aren't into him but he really liked that performance.
Artie said he heard that Roseanne Barr was talking about how Bruce should have taken some time to say something political during that performance. Howard said that Roseanne is on some kick talking about how she's against the Jews over in Israel about the way they're handling things over there.
Howard said he liked the commercial where the waitress kept spraying whipped cream on the mobster's pancakes. Howard said he thought that was Martin Scorsese in the commercial. Gary asked Howard what he thought of the Ed McMahon commercial. Howard said he had just said he missed that one.
Gary said that many of the schools in Pittsburgh are opening late this morning because of the team's win. The team won so they're letting the kids go in early. Howard said that's why this country is going down hill, school should come first.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought it was ridiculous when the guy was making out with the monkey. Howard said he agrees with that.
Another caller thought that Springsteen was awesome. He said it was the first time that he watched a half time show. The guy also thought that they shouldn't play music behind the National Anthem. Howard said that he's not sure why they play that song before every sporting event. He said he knows it started during World War II but there's no reason to keep it going. Howard said that there's no reason to do it at the Super Bowl.
Gary said that he read that Jennifer Hudson definitely lip synced. They were saying that they have to submit a track a week before the event. He said that Faith Hill was also lip syncing. The NFL requires all of that. Howard said that's bogus. He said he was so high on the Jennifer Hudson thing. Fred said that the Yo Yo Ma thing was also pre-recorded. Howard said that's lame that they were playing air violin.
The caller said that would be like Artie doing his stand up in a recording and getting it just perfect and then coming out and lip syncing that. Howard said that he'd like to do that pre-recorded stand-up act.
The caller asked Howard if he's going to watch The Bachelor or Heroes tonight. Howard said he watches The Bachelor live and records Heroes. He said that he was told that he may be getting some preview copies of future episodes of The Bachelor so that will be cool.
Howard said that he only knows about two people who have never tried pot. He said that he knows this guy Sherwin Belkin who is an attorney. He said that Dee Snider claims that he's never tried pot either. Howard said that if someone is going to hand you $100 million, you should stay home and smoke pot if you want. Then you get the money and then come out and smoke pot all you want. Howard said you feel bad for the guy because the odds of a swimmer making that kind of money is crazy.
Howard said that Phelps is apologizing for the whole thing and now he's going to get offers from High Times magazine to promote ''Weedies'' instead of Wheaties.
Artie asked Fred if he ever tried weed. Fred said that he did but he never tried anything harder than that like coke. Artie said that's amazing.
Howard said he read another story about a guy who lived to be 100 years old. He ended up burning up in a fire over the weekend. He lived through the two World Wars and then died in a fire.
Howard said that he was reading about this charity called the Central Park Conservancy. He said that he loves the park being there and it's amazing that it's survived over the years. He read that four teenagers had been caught spray painting some of the landmarks in there. Howard said that it really pisses him off when he reads that. Howard read the name of the kids who were caught and talked about what they just had to paint on these things. They painted ''3D'' and ''U'' on these things. Howard said that the people ranged from 16 to 20. Howard said they should take them and drown them. Robin said that was a little severe. Howard said that he might be a little severe but they really are a waste.
Howard said he saw that there's a whole section in the paper today based on the Jessica Simpson weight thing. He said that fat people are complaining about this whole thing and making being fat okay. Howard said that it's unhealthy to be fat and they have to stop defending it.
Howard said that this new Liam Nieson movie ''Taken'' looks good. He talked about that for a few minutes. He said that he'll be there for any movie like that. Howard said that he can't wait to see that movie. Howard said he liked the commercials for that movie and talked about how great it looked to him.
Howard said that he didn't think that Pittsburgh was going to recover after they lost their first touchdown. Artie said that he's not sure that Ben Roethlisberger is going to keep going the way he has been.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they don't have the game on a Saturday night instead of on a Sunday evening. Howard said that they should just start it earlier in the afternoon. He said that he thinks that it's all about the networks trying to make every bit of money they can.
Howard said that this generation is being raised the wrong way. He said that giving the kids the day off, or opening school 2 hours early, is just wrong. He said that his generation is the most spoiled generation ever and they're raising their kids the wrong way.
Robin said that she's heard that people have nannies for each child these days. Howard said that it is wild. He said that when he was about 7 he knew that his generation was going to fuck everything up. He said that's what happened with George W. Bush. Howard said that it's the biggest, nuttiest generation ever. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Flavor Flav came in and made a bunch of noise with his giant clock and all of the stuff he was wearing. Flavor asked Robin if she was running for President behind that bullet proof glass.
Howard said that Flavor had a tough time after Public Enemy went away. Howard said that Cronin got him on The Surreal Life and then on ''Strange Love'' with Brigitte Nielsen.
Howard asked Flavor if he ever thought they'd see a black president. Flavor said that some day there will be a Jewish President too. Howard asked Flavor if he considers Obama as black. Flavor said that he has always been proud of being black himself. He said that he does consider Obama as being black too. Flavor said that he's going to run for President next.
Howard asked Flavor about the show he did with Brigitte Nielsen and if that was real. Flavor said that he doesn't see color and he had a great friendship and relationship with her. He said that they both broke it off when they broke up. Howard asked if the pussy was good. Flavor said that he stays away from talking about that. Howard asked if he went down on her. He said that he was already down on her, he's only 5'8'' tall and she's like 6'2'' tall.
Howard said that every reality show that Flavor does turns to number 1 and he wondered if he got some good money for that. Flavor said he didn't see the money right away but he did make some money. He said he wasn't rolling in dough but he did alright.
Howard said that Flavor is great at mixing it up and he makes people want to watch him. Howard asked Flavor how old he was when he first banged a broad. Flavor said that he was just 6 years old. Howard asked him how old the girl was. Flavor said that she was 6 years old too. They were just ''experimenting.'' Flavor said that it was just natural instincts. He said that he did get hard and he was able to penetrate but he didn't complete his mission with her. He said that he did get a boner no problem though.
Howard said that Flavor has 7 kids now and he wants to have 3 more. Flavor said that he's trying to add more kids but he doesn't live with them all. Flavor said that his three oldest live out on Long Island. Flavor said that his middle three are up in Albany. He mentioned that one of his kids was named Designa so they spent a minute talking about that unusual name. He also mentioned another one by the name of Karma who lives with him out in Vegas.
Flavor said that he thinks that he's a good father and he thinks that there are other people just like him out there. He said that he really enjoys this youngest kid because he takes his clock and runs around the house wearing that.
Howard asked Flavor why he doesn't wear a calendar instead of a clock. Flavor said that a calendar would be for a woman, not for him. He said he started wearing the clock back in the day when stop watches were the fad. He said that his buddy took his stop watch off and stuck the kitchen clock on him.
Flavor said that he puts his clock at 6 o'clock and that's because he's being straight up. Flavor was all over the place and mentioned that he was in Howard's movie and it was only the 5th movie he was ever in. He said that he smacked Howard on the ass with a broom in the movie.
Howard said that Flavor was there to promote this movie ''Nite Tales'' that's going to be on out DVD tomorrow. Howard then asked him about leaving his reality show and if he did that because of his girlfriend. Flavor said he realized what he had at home which was real love. He said that the TV show was getting repetitious too and people thought he wasn't able to find real love. He said that's just not him.
Howard asked Flavor about the roast they did for him. Flavor said that he didn't know what a roast was before they did his. He said he didn't know what to do with it but he figured he should have just done his own thing. That's why he wants a part 2 roast so he can get his revenge.
Howard asked Flavor if he was upset about the use of the N-word in his roast. Flavor said that he doesn't have a problem with the word and it's regular part of his vocabulary. He then threw it out there about 10 times and sang a Public Enemy song that had the word in it a bunch of times.
Howard asked Flavor if he knew that Duran Duran covered ''911's A Joke.'' Flavor said he did know that but he hadn't heard the album. Howard played him some of the song and asked Flavor to be honest about what he thought of that version of the song.
Flavor was talking about doing radio there and told Howard that he used to work with Lisa G. Howard told Flavor that he should have hooked up with Lisa. Flavor said that he thinks that Lisa is afraid of love from a man and she's been single for way too long. Howard said that's an interesting take on that. Howard said that she seems to be hot for Artie though.
Gary came in and said that Lisa was telling him a story about how she used to have to call the local jails to see if Flavor was locked up if he didn't show up to work on time. That led to Flavor talking about how he's the only one in radio history to do a show from his jail cell. He said he did that from Riker's Island and the guards would bring him the phone so he could do that.
Howard asked Flavor if he has a driver's license yet because he's been caught not having one like 48 times. Flavor said he had one back in the day but he hasn't renewed it so he has to take the test again. Flavor said that he got suspended and he'd go out driving anyway.
Flavor said that he doesn't want to go back to jail to serve anymore time but he would like to go back and tell the other prisoners how great it is on the outside. Flavor said that he did 2 and a half years at one time. He got caught doing burglaries and stuff back then. He said he was in a gang back then and he was into some bad stuff.
Howard asked what he was charged with. Flavor said it was a bunch of things. Flavor said he didn't feel guilt back then but he does now. He said that his friends were all doing it and that's who was telling him it was okay to do that stuff.
Howard read that Flavor was in school with Eddie Murphy. Flavor said he got thrown out of Roosevelt High School. Howard said that he must have been really bad if he got thrown out of that school. Howard asked if his parents had any control over him at all. Flavor said his parents were great but his friends would get him into trouble. He said his parents would beat his ass back then. He said that he wouldn't dare fight back either. They'd whip him with the extension cord when his pants were down. Flavor said that he'd eventually start laughing and he'd get beaten even more.
Howard asked Flavor if he ever went to the shrink. Flavor said he did go once. Howard asked Flavor if he ever thought about those beatings and how wrong they were. Flavor said he just thought that he should stop doing the stuff he was doing when he'd get those beatings. He said he didn't think that was abuse to him. Howard asked Flavor if he'd beat his kids. He said he would if he could but he knows he'll go to jail. Howard asked him if he would do it if it wasn't against the law. Flavor said that there are better wants to discipline kids these days. Flavor said that he learned from all of those beatings he took.
Howard said that Flavor seems to be uncomfortable with the discussion. He said that he took his anger out on all of the people he robbed. He should have taken it out on his parents instead. Flavor said that Howard is giving it a good try but he's not right.
Howard said he's happy that Flav is doing well now. Flavor said that he's having fun out on the West coast now. Howard asked him what the scariest moments were for him in jail. He said he took a beating from the guards one time. That was scary. He said that happened in the 6 building on Riker's Island. He tried to take it to court but he didn't win. Howard asked him why it's okay for his mother to beat him but not the guards. Flavor said that it's only his mother who can beat him.
Howard said he found it hard to believe that Flavor had never heard this version of ''911's A Joke'' from Duran Duran. He played some of it for him and asked Flavor what he thinks about it. Flavor said that he thought it was hot and he liked it.
Howard asked Flavor about this girl he's with now. Flavor said that he thinks that they may set a date to get married soon. He said they've been together for about 5 years now and he loves her. He said that he wants this thing to be big so that's why he's taking his time with her.
Howard asked Flavor when he's going to set the date. Flavor said that it should be in '09. He said he wants everyone to shoot it too and he wants every channel to cover it. He said he wants all of the radio stations, TV stations and all of that, just like the inauguration.
Howard asked Flavor if he heard Chris Rock giving him a beating in his act. Flavor said he heard that he was giving him a beating but he didn't understand why he was bashing him. He said that he was told that Chris loves him but he's not sure what he was saying about him. Howard said he heard it and it wasn't very nice. He said that he would stick up for him if he runs into Chris.
Howard asked Flav if he ever hears from his old gang members. Flav said that he doesn't hear form them. He said that was a long time ago and his gang is gone now. He didn't even want to talk about how he got out of the gang because he didn't want to start something that could get out of control.
Howard and Robin asked about the gang thing some more and tried to find out what he had to do to get out of it. Flav said that he got beaten up going into it and coming out. He said that he didn't feel bad when he had to beat someone else up because they didn't feel bad beating him up.
Howard said it sounds like Flav's life was pretty tough. Flav said that it's not so bad now that he has some money. He said that he'd have no problems if he had Howard's money. He asked Howard if he thinks that he would be good on the air. Howard said he would if he got real and became himself on a show. He said that would be one of the greatest radio performers of all time. Flav said that he knows how to do that. Howard said he'll ask Tim Sabean to talk to him about doing an hour of radio. He said he'd like to hear some stories about his life growing up.
Howard had Dominic Barbara on the phone. Dominic said that he represented Flav's wife in a family court thing. Flav asked where they dug this guy up. Dominic asked if he's still in his kid's lives. Flav said that he stays in touch and he has grand kids now. Howard and Robin asked him how old he is. Flav is turning 50 soon.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked Flav if he feels bad for beating up that puppy on the Surreal Life. Flav said that they made a bigger deal out of that than it was. He said he was just teaching the dog not to piss on the floor.
Howard told Flav that the abuse is coming from his parents having beat him. Flav said that he wasn't abused, he was being disciplined. He said there is a difference there. Howard kept telling Flav that he was abused but Flav refused to agree with him on that. He said his mother wasn't abusing him, she was just disciplining him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Howard should feel good sitting next to Flav because he's not as bad looking as Flav. The caller said that he did some time in jail and Flav was there and he was talking non-stop there, even in his sleep.
Howard asked Flav about this movie ''Nite Tales'' and found out that it's kind of like a Twilight Zone type of thing. Flav said that he plays the ''Rod Sterling'' of the movie. He said he starts the movie off and he ends it. Flav said that he's the narrator and the story teller in the movie. He said that it's going to be a series and they have some stuff for Howard that they want him to do. Howard said that he has to look at that stuff before he can commit.
Howard said that he did put Flav in all of his (one) movies. He said that he was very prompt showing up on time for him. Howard wrapped up with Flav, gave him some more plugs for the movie and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Richard was telling Gary about seeing Cheech and Chong at Radio City Music Hall and everyone there was smoking weed. Howard said he used to go to Radio City when he was a kid and it was a really family friendly place. Howard said that you'd sit down for a movie there and they'd have the Rockettes there. He said that they'd get all dressed up to go there and they'd get a whole show before the movie.
Howard talked about his Dad taking them out to eat before the show. He said that he'd be sitting there in pain from the gas pains. He said that he'd have to hold in the gas and the pee and his father telling him that it was okay to fart. He said his father would get pissed about him not farting and would tell him to just let it out.
Howard said that he wasn't able to pee in front of other guys so that was always a problem. Howard said that he remembers the bathrooms where they had big troughs to pee in. Robin asked why guys are forced to do that. She said that's ridiculous. Howard said that he would see one of those things and all of a sudden he wouldn't have to pee. He said he never knew what to do.
Artie asked Howard if his father had a big dick. Howard said that he remembers it being pretty big and thick. Artie said he saw his father's dick when he was paralyzed. He said that he never really saw it walking into a bathroom though.
Howard said that maybe his father's dick looked big because he was a little kid when he saw it. Howard said that his is very skinny and it probably wouldn't look big to a kid. He said that it looks like a little bird in a nest when it's small. He said it grows pretty big.
Richard came in and told Howard to just whip it out so they can see it. Howard said that he's too embarrassed to do that. Howard said he heard that Sal had to hold his grandfather's penis when he pissed. He said it's no wonder he's so fucked up.
Richard said that his dad isn't circumcised so he looks pretty big. Sal came in and said that his grandfather was injured in World War II and he had to help him stand up on his walker when he had to piss. He said that he had him hold his penis when he had to piss in a cookie jar. Sal said that he did that and pretended it never happened.
Richard went to see Metallica over the weekend and ended up crying during the song ''One.'' Howard said that Richard is fucked up and he's very weird. He said that the song reminded him of another male friend. Richard said that music means a lot to him and he can cry over a song like that. Howard asked how great they were live. Richard said that they were incredible. Howard said he saw them about 9 years ago and they really were great.
Sal said that he saw Howard there at the Metallica concert and told the usher to go say that Sal the Stockbroker was there. The usher went down and told him and came back to him saying that Howard claimed he didn't know any such person and to leave him alone.
Fred played Metallica's ''One'' and Howard said that it really is a great song. Richard wasn't crying but he was thinking about his friends who he'd listen to the song with. Richard said that it brought back memories when he heard the song that night.
Howard tried to get Richard to cry. He told him to listen to the song and just think about his friends like he did at the concert. Howard stayed quiet for a minute and Richard said he was getting really emotional thinking about it. He told Howard that the part coming up was going to really get to him. Richard told Howard that music really means a lot to him and he had so many great times listening to that song. He was crying as he told him about that.
Richard said that Artie was throwing stuff at him while he was crying. Howard told him to think about Cotton from ''King of the Hill'' dying and that would make him cry. Richard said that he did cry like a baby when he died.
Howard said that he gets goose bumps when he hears ''One'' but it doesn't make him cry. Artie kept throwing stuff at Richard as he was talking and crying about the song.
Howard pointed out that Artie had cried over Michael Jackson's ''Man in the Mirror.'' Artie said that he thought about his dad when that happened. He wasn't thinking about his high school buddies. Howard asked Richard if he ever had sword fights or anything with those friends. Richard said that he never did that with them.
Richard said that he wanted to talk about the Cheech and Chong thing at Radio City. Richard said that it was weird going back there after seeing the Christmas show there just a month ago. He said that this time it was a bunch of 50 year old stoners there smoking weed.
Howard said that he remembers his mother getting all dressed up to go to Radio City and he finds it weird that people smoke weed there. He talked about his mother squeezing into a girdle back then. Richard said that all of the people working there at Radio City were dressed up and walking all of the stoners to their seats. Artie talked about going to see ''The Sting'' there at Radio City when it had a short run there.
Richard asked Howard to play the parody of ''One'' for Robin's news that he had created. Howard said that he had heard that song one other time and he didn't think the words were very understandable and he didn't think the audience would know the song that well.
Artie told Richard that he's a really weird guy. He used to have a picture of Brad Pitt hanging in his room because he admired the fact that he came out of a very small town like he did. Richard said he wasn't attracted to the guy, he just admired him. Richard said that he wouldn't do anything gay for the guy, other than maybe a hand job.
Howard said that Richard went to see Metallica on two nights this weekend. Richard said that they played two different sets on those two nights. This coming weekend he's going to see Coheed and Cambria and he'll be wearing his diaper again so he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. He'll be pissing the diaper instead of taking a break to go to the bathroom.
Howard said that it was because of him that he's actually wearing a diaper. The fans told him that Richard had just pissed his pants one time at a concert because he didn't want to leave the show to piss. He said that the diaper is Richard's civilized way of pissing his pants. Richard said that he was going to get a ride from some friends who had a nice new car and he didn't want to get piss in the car. Richard said that he was a mess that night.
Robin said that she had a friend who would get upset when she lost a girlfriend and she ended up being gay. She seemed to think that maybe that's where Richard was going.
Steve said that they have a story about the ''Inside the Porn Actor's Studio'' and how some of their mics were left on while they went to the bathroom.
Steve talked about Bruce Springsteen being on Mad Dog Russo's show over the weekend. Howard said that he'll ask Russo about that later this week when he comes in.
Richard said that when they were recording the show on Friday they found out that one of the audience members was jerking off. He said that Ronnie asked him to cool off with that and then they moved him to the front row so he couldn't finish. JD figured it was the guy who was sitting next to him. Richard confirmed that.
Ronnie came in and said that they never said anything to the guy. They tried to get it on camera and never said a word to him. Richard said the guy was sitting in the back with sweat pants and a hoodie on. He said that he saw him touching it and the guy would start rubbing even more. Ronnie said the guy came in with the 40 year old virgin guy they had on the show. He said that even Sal was getting creeped out with the moaning.
Howard asked when that's going to be airing. Richard said that they're going to do that in March. Ronnie said that when this one girl, Pinkie, came on the guy was trying to rub it out so they moved him right to the front row and next to JD. JD said that he was moaning and it was creeping him out. JD said the guy was saying a lot of ''god damn's'' during that shoot.
Steve finished up his news preview and mentioned that Sarah Silverman will be on Greg Fitzsimmons' show tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran through his list of subjects they'd be covering and ended up talking about some of the Flavor Flav interview. They talked about how rough Flavor's life was. Gary told Howard that he was still hanging out in the green room. Howard said that he had to have been a nightmare in Roosevelt High School because that's like the last stop in the world. Howard said that only an axe murderer would get kicked out of that school.
Howard said that Roosevelt is the only high school in history that has had to be taken over by the state to be run because it was so out of control. Howard said that the blacks there in Roosevelt were the toughest blacks around. Robin said that the kids in Baltimore were pretty tough too. Howard said that the kids in Roosevelt were tougher. They went back and forth with that stuff for a couple of minutes.
Jon got back to his show preview and ran through some more of the stuff they were going to cover.
Robin read a story about a father who was arrested after his 2 year old ate some cocaine that was left out in the house. Robin had another story about a skydiver who had their instructor die of a heart attack as they jumped out of the plane. That led to Robin talking about flying to Martha's Vineyard over the weekend and flying on a plane so small that she was in the co-pilot's seat. Then Howard and Fred got into their Ted Kennedy impressions since she had mentioned something in the Massachusetts area.
Robin read a story about a baby that had six fingers and six toes on each hand and foot. Howard said that he'd kill himself if he had a baby. He said he wouldn't be too happy about having a kid with six fingers and toes. He said he wouldn't want to deal with trying to explain that to people.
Robin read more about the kid with six fingers and toes. Howard wondered if maybe people had six fingers and toes when we were evolving. Howard said that some people are born with webbed feet like a duck too. Artie said he heard a rumor that Dan Aykroyd was born like that.
Robin read a story about DMX being in jail for 90 days. She said that he was in on animal abuse and theft charges. She said that he's not allowed to own any animals once he does get out.
Robin read some news about Michael Phelps getting caught smoking weed. Howard said that if you're ever lucky enough to be in that position, just don't get caught doing something like that. He said it drives him crazy thinking about this guy getting caught like that. They had to go to break after that story.
After the break, around 10:20am, Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about President Obama's half-brother getting in trouble over drug possession. Howard wondered if Obama even knows the guy. Robin said that he doesn't know him at all. Robin said that his name is George Hussein Obama. Howard wondered how that guy ended up with a normal first name while Barack is stuck with that name. Robin read through that story and said that he's going to be charged with drug possession but George claims he was released and not charged with anything.
Robin read some news about the Super Bowl and had a bunch of audio clips from the teams commenting on the outcome of the game. Jon Hein came in to talk about some of that stuff as well.
Robin had some news about men's tennis. She read about Roger Federer losing a match and had audio of him crying after the game.
Robin had a story about Barack Obama talking about the threats we still have against this country. He hopes to get some of the troops home from Iraq by next year so they'll be home for the next Super Bowl. Robin had some audio of Obama talking about that and some other things.
Robin said that today is Groundhog Day and the groundhog saw his shadow and that means another 6 weeks of winter. Robin had some audio of them talking about Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog and being excited about the Pittsburgh Steelers winning. Howard said he doesn't get that whole thing and doesn't want anything to do with it.
Robin read a story about the 50th anniversary of Buddy Holly's death. That led to Howard singing ''The Day The Music Died'' for a few seconds. Robin read some audio from a Buddy Holly expert who told the story about why Buddy Holly had decided to fly that night. Howard played a few seconds of that but cut it off quickly.
Robin talked about Black History month starting this week. She read some stuff about that and then Howard played some audio of Morgan Freeman talking about how he hates Black History Month. Freeman said he doesn't want to have just one month to discuss his history. He said that black history is American History and he wants to stop calling people white and black.
Robin read some news about Madonna and A-Rod. That led to Artie saying that he hopes that A-Rod gets a sore on his cock from Madonna's ass. He really dislikes the guy and went off on him for a few seconds.
Robin read a story about the new iPhone that's supposed to be coming out this summer. It's supposed to be a full fledged gaming platform. Howard said he's getting jealous of people who have iPhones because they can do so many things that he can't do. That led to the guys talking about the differences between instant messaging and texting. Howard said it's basically the same thing.
Richard came in and told Howard that they have chess games for the iPod. Howard said that Richard should be playing a game of ''brush your teeth.'' Artie said that Scott DePace is working on an application for the iPhone and he's really secretive about it like it's going to be some big deal. Howard said that it'll probably be just like his video caddy thing. Scott DePace came in and said that he's not going to talk about it but it has nothing to do with golf. Artie said that he and Scott got into an argument about him being a Type-A personality and he's so not. Artie said that Scott told him that he's going to draw up the plans for this app and then have someone else develop it. Artie said that he's not a type-A personality.
Richard said that Scott has to deal with a bunch of Chinese people to create his Video Caddy thing. Scott said that he has a good idea for the iPhone and he's going to try and make it happen. Richard said Scott found this thing on the internet that's supposed to grow your hair by running a laser over your head.
Robin read some news about Yngwie Malmsteen having to sell off a bunch of his stuff because he was ripped off by a manager. Howard said that guy doesn't sing so he's put out some albums that are just music and it sounds like something is missing. Howard said he thinks that the guy is famous mostly because of his unusual name, like Engelbert Humperdink. Fred played some of Yngwie Malmsteen's stuff and Howard said that you keep waiting for the lyrics to come and it never does. Then there were lyrics in the song that Fred played so Howard said that maybe he does have some singing in there.
Robin read a story about the wife of Dr. Atkins and how she took his $600 million and found a new husband. Howard said that's a lot of money. The wife isn't listening to critics who think that her new husband is just a gold digger. She's fighting to get that money from the people in charge of it. Artie ended up comparing that to a Godfather scene. He recited some of the lines from that scene and then Fred played a clip. Howard said he loves that movie.
Robin read some news about the woman who had octuplets. Howard said he didn't want to talk about that. Robin said that the woman wanted to have babies since high school and now she has 14. Robin said that the mother of that woman is thinking of leaving because she didn't plan on raising kids with her daughter. Howard said that the woman already had 6 kids and that wasn't enough for her. Robin said that she's looking for a TV deal or some sponsorship deals. Robin said that she's going to be going on Oprah's show and will be interviewed by Diane Sawyer as well. Howard said he couldn't even come up with 14 names for kids.
Robin had a story about people who are going to fertility clinics to have twins so they can get all of their family out of the way in one fell swoop. Robin said that women are selling their eggs to get money too. She had a story about a woman who made $8,000 selling her eggs. She had some details about what that process can be like and how painful it can be.
Robin read that the movie ''Taken'' was the number one movie at the box office this weekend. She read the other top 5 movies as well. She said that there's a new Drew Barrymore movie coming out this week and had some audio of Drew talking about that. Howard cut her off and made fun of the way she marries just about anyone she meets and joked that she married the interviewer right after the interview.
Robin had some audio of Hayden Panitierre talking about the rest of the season of ''Heroes.'' Howard said he'll be watching that. They ended the show a short time later, right around 11:05am.
Gary said that there are some people who come on the show that are very hard to talk to. Don King is one of them. Gary said that Howard found out that Flavor was abused but getting that through to him is very tough.
That led to Jon playing a clip from the interview where Howard was talking about Flavor hiding behind his laugh when he was talking about the abuse.
Gary said that he thought it was funny when Flavor was talking about how Flavor had said ''Rod Sterling'' instead of ''Rod Serling.''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they didn't mention the Miller High Life commercial that was just one second long. The caller thought it was the best commercial of the whole game. The guy said that they didn't spend 3 million on that one like other companies did. Gary said he didn't even see it. He said he barely got to see any of the commercials since he had 25 people at his house.
Jon said that some of the companies seem to be trying too hard to make a mark with their commercials instead of selling their products.
Gary said that he thought that one of the best commercials was a few years ago when Tobasco ran a 60 second commercial that was their whole budget for the year. He said it wasn't even that great of a commercial.
Lisa G came in and said that she had a bunch of stories about Flavor Flav. She said that she was serious about when he wouldn't come to work and she'd call asking if Flavor was in a holding cell at a jail. Lisa said that she thinks he was right about the time he was doing his shows from his jail cell.
Lisa said that she and Flavor were good friends and they had some fun working together. She said that he would call him at 3 in the morning. She also went to Jamaica with him for a radio show trip. Lisa said that she was asked to go up and tell Flavor that he had really bad breath one time too. Lisa said that she did that and Flavor felt really badly about that.
Gary said that Flavor stopped being goofy when he was talking about Lisa and said that he thinks that she's afraid of love. Lisa said she's not afraid of love and she has had boyfriends. Benjy asked when she last had a boyfriend. Gary asked her to tell them when she went out with someone for more than 6 months. Lisa said that the definition of a boyfriend changes as you age. She said that 2 dates would be one now.
Gary asked Lisa how long it would be now. She said it's hard to define. She said that it gets crazy the older you get. Benjy asked when the last one was. Lisa said that she hasn't dated anyone seriously since she got there at SIRIUS. She said that she thinks she's gone out a few times with guys but nothing really serious.
Lisa said that she's very happy the way she is now and she thinks that people don't believe that she really is happy. Gary said that some people might think that she would want more than she has though. Jon asked her if she hopes to have a relationship. Lisa said that she doesn't hope for anything like that. She said she doesn't live like that.
Jon asked Lisa if she hopes to find a companion for the rest of her life. Lisa said she just wants to stay healthy because she doesn't know who would take care of her. She said that she would feel sad if she got sick and didn't have anyone to take care of her. Gary said that they should have some kind of program for people like her so they could get someone like Ralph to take care of her and she could take care of Ralph.
Jon said that Lisa is saying she likes the way she is and that's very cool. Lisa said that she's very happy doing what she's doing for a living and she loves her friends. She said that she's very happy and healthy right now.
Another caller said that she was 41 when she met the man of her dreams. She said that you never know when you're going to meet that guy. She said it's not really worth the effort to find that man and Lisa is doing it the right way now that she's happy with herself. She said that she should have the right man come to her now that she's happy.
Gary said that he thinks Lisa isn't really being truthful when she talks about being happy. He said that he thinks that she's more interested in relationships than she's letting on. He said that she seems fascinated by other people's relationships. Benjy was asking her some more questions about Flavor but Jon and Gary were ready to get out of this vortex and move on to other things.
Jon asked Lisa if she enjoyed working at Hot 97 or there at SIRIUS more. Lisa said she loved working at Hot 97 when she was there but she's the same there at SIRIUS.
Gary asked if there was tape of Lisa crying when she got fired. Gary said that he had someone e-mail him saying that they had heard it. He said that if anyone out there has that tape, send it in. They had to go to break after that.
Gange said that he doesn't do it while he's at work, he does that in his personal time. Gange talked about some of the stuff he's posted in his personal area. Gange said that he thinks that Howard will only last like a day on that service.
Gary said that Howard asked him about the whole thing and he sees that he's only got 3 friends. Gary said that he has become obsessed with the whole thing himself and he's been cherry picking celebrities trying to get them to be guests on the show. Gary said that he didn't know that he was being left online all the time and that's because he never shut the window. Now he does shut the window so people don't think he's on there all the time.
Gary said that he saw that Kendra Jade was posting everything on her profile every day. Gange said that she really does post some wacky statement on there all the time. Gary said that he saw some people on Gange's list that he found interesting.
Gary said that he was talking to Scott DePace about how he defriended Mariann from Brooklyn after he was friends with her. Gary said that the people don't even know that you've done that until they try to post something.
Jon asked Gange if he has hooked up with anyone on Facebook. Gange said he's reconnected with some old friends but he really hasn't hooked up with anyone. He also said that he stays in touch with all of the Miss Howard TV girls. Gange said that he didn't think that Scott DePace would ever be on there though. He said that it might be getting so big that it's not going to be cool soon and people will be on to something else.
Gary said he friended Chris Rock and he let him in and he's only got 110 friends. He said that he found someone else in there that he connected with as well.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that Gange is posting pictures of people and posting them and that's not cool. He said that Gange posted a picture of him and his wife and he had to ask him to remove it because his wife didn't like the picture.
Gary said that the good thing about it is that you can find out about get togethers and reunions and stuff. Doug said that he doesn't like that you can post pictures in other people's albums. Gary said he doesn't know how the shit works still and he has to figure some of that out.
The caller wanted to talk about the Super Bowl and mentioned the Alec Baldwin commercial that he thought was pretty cool. They spent a minute talking about that.
The caller also thought that the Bruce Springsteen was an embarrassment. He said he's indifferent on Springsteen but he didn't think that it was cool to do that whole thing. The guy said he was okay with the songs when they started but then it got all cheesy and corny when they had the ref come out and throw the flag. Jon said that he and Will thought it was very cheesy as well. Gary didn't think it was so bad.
Gary said that the show that Bruce did is basically what you see when you go to one of his shows. Jon said that the ref was too much. He said that he is a great live performer though and he could see that in that 12 minute performance.
Gary said that Bruce is 59 years old and he used to do 4 and a half hour shows back 20 years ago. They used to be even more high energy back then.
Another caller asked who else they would have wanted to see in a half time show. Gary said that you don't usually get someone that younger people are going to want to see. He said that they've' had the Stones, Tom Petty, U2 and people like that. There aren't a lot of people left who haven't done it.
Gary said that maybe Green Day would do it but they may think that it would be selling out. Jon said that maybe American Idol is next for Bruce. Gary said he wouldn't care if he did that show. He said that he got upset with the Counting Crows when they did the Shrek song but he now realizes that the music industry is so fucked up they have to do stuff like that to get some exposure.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he'd like to see Rush at half time but he doesn't think that's going to happen. Jon said that he didn't suggest that himself.
The caller said that Artie can't call himself a sports fan. He said that Artie was asked a simple question this morning about what team he'd start a franchise with and he wasn't able to name anyone. Gary said that the question wasn't that easy. The caller said that Artie didn't mention Tom Brady. Gary said that's because he's not healthy.
Another caller congratulated Jon on the Steelers win. He also pointed out that the Phillies are awesome and started to play a Baba Booey song parody. Jon let him go and took another call from a guy who said that he can't believe that Howard is still making fun of his home theater. He said that he was dreaming of being in his home theater while he was watching the game. Gary said that Jason and Will were telling him that his biggest mistake was saying that he had ''stools'' in there when they really aren't stools.
Gary said that he saw the e-mail from the guy who called in this morning about the ''glaring'' problems with his home theater. He figured that Howard wouldn't bother with the guy so when he was on the phone, it pissed him off.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary's home theater looks great. He said that he loved Springsteen on the Super Bowl but he thinks that he's getting too close to American Idol. Gary said that he's not sure about that. He said that if he came out and performed a new song on that show it would be huge for album sales. Jon said that it wouldn't be cool for him to be on that show. He said that if he does do that show, it's the ultimate sell out.
Gary asked if doing a Bruce Springsteen Guitar Hero is selling out. Jon said yes and no to that one. He said that it's not selling out like doing American Idol would be selling out. The guys went back and forth on that subject for a minute too. Jon said that American Idol is ''crappy pop'' and Bruce's music isn't that kind of music. That's why it would be so bad if he did go on that show.
Jon said he knows that Bruce needs to sell records but going on that show just wouldn't fit his image. Gange said that the blue collar image wouldn't fit in with that appearance.
A caller said that he thinks that there were a lot of bogus calls in that Super Bowl and wrestling and football are very similar because of the way they're rigged. Jon said that they're really not the same. They had to end the show a short time later after arguing about that for a minute.
Howard started off the show talking about Mike Gange on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and how he was saying that he doesn't use Facebook while he's at work. Howard said he did some research and found out that he does post while he's at work. Howard said he officially dislikes Facebook now. He has about 10 million friend requests now and he's ignoring them all.
Howard said he thought he was contacting Jillian Barberie on there but now it appears that it was just a fan site and now he has even more requests. Howard said he has to get off of Facebook now and he's not going back.
Howard said that if he were single, like Robin and Artie, he would be on there and he'd be hooking up with chicks. Howard said that it's the greatest thing for single people.
Howard talked about some of the hot girls on the service because there are pictures of girls in bikinis and stuff. Howard said that the service was probably invented so guys could get laid. Gary said that the guy who invented it kind of admits that. Howard said Jon Hein doesn't admit it but that's basically what it is.
Howard said that Facebook isn't for him but it might be for Robin and other single people. Artie said that there are a lot of attention mongers out there who are using that service. He said that there are regular girls out there who post modeling pictures even though they've never modeled.
Howard said that Sandra Taylor is on Facebook and she's got tons of hot friends. He said that you can friend all of her friends and they're all hot chicks. Howard said that she has hot friends like Victoria Silvstedt and people like that.
Artie said that he's so messed up that he doesn't even know where his laptop computer is. He hasn't even seen his own web site.
Howard said he sent his mother a copy of a movie that he got called ''The Reader'' so she called to talk to him about that. Howard was busy on Facebook and wasn't paying attention to her. He had to call her back and talk to her later.
Howard said that his mother told him that she enjoyed the movies but the Blockbuster had closed near them. Howard told her about the On Demand stuff on cable and how they could watch movies on there instead. Howard said she started to laugh when he told her it was on channel 1000. Howard told them that they could be watching all of that stuff there and she just laughed at him.
Gary came in and asked why they can't handle watching channel 1000. Howard said he's not sure but he should call them and ask them on the air. Robin asked if they were able to get the pay-per-view event that Howard did in the past. Howard said that they were able to do that. He said that they had to drive to Cablevision and get a converter box but they were able to watch it on there.
Gary asked if his parents have touch tone phones. Howard said that they do. They even have a wireless phone. Howard said he called his mother yesterday but his father picked up. He said he told his dad that it was him and he said ''Who?'' like he didn't know who it was. Howard said that his father stumbled around with the phone and got the other one so he could hear him. Then his mother picked up. Howard said he told his mother that his father had just said ''Who?'' when he picked up. She decided to talk to him instead. His father did get back on later though.
Howard said that calling his parents is an adventure in itself. He said that his mother was telling him about going out dancing and how they've lost a bunch of people from their square dancing get together because they've died off. Howard said his father likes to dance and they decided to take lessons. Howard said his father is uptight when they go out in public though. He talked about the way he orders his food at a restaurant and how it has to be in an organized way. Howard did an impression of his father ordering and goofed on him about that for a couple of minutes.
Howard said that his father is very on edge about the dancing too. He said they have to memorize steps and his father will yell at his mother if she gets anything wrong. Howard said that he thinks that they're ruining it for everyone else if they get it wrong.
Howard said that his father just doesn't want to be bothered with anything. He said that he just had his parent's house redecorated. He said his sister had told him that they needed some help getting it fixed up. Howard went over to take a look after not going there for like 15 years. He said that he figured he had to pony up there and told them that he was going to help them out. Howard said that his mom wanted him to help but his dad didn't want it. Howard said that he helped out with some new furniture, fixed up bathroom and kitchen and more.
Howard said he wanted to move them into a condo while the place was being fixed up. His father didn't want the help at all. Howard said his mother told him that she had a routine and didn't want to get into that stuff. Howard said he got his team in there to get it fixed up and his father was carrying on about the stuff that they were going to get rid of. He told them that he wasn't going to eat on a kitchen table. Howard said that now that the house is done his father loves it. He said his mother loves it too of course.
Gary asked who shovels the snow for them when it snows out there. Howard said they have a guy who helps out. He said his father will go out and start shoveling if the guy isn't there though.
Howard said that his mother has never been to channel 1000 on the cable before so she does find it crazy when he suggests something like that. Howard said that they must know that HBO is up there though. Gary said that if they have basic cable they wouldn't have a number that high.
Gary asked Howard if they watch HBO. Howard said they do. Gary said that they should have to go into the higher numbers for that then.
Robin asked if they have a flat screen TV. Howard said they won't let him buy them one. They refuse to let him buy it for them. Howard said they didn't even want to let him buy them a DVD player to get rid of their VCR.
Gary said that he gave his father a TV about 14 years ago and he wanted to update it when it started to show everything in green. He said his father wanted to sell it. He told him to just throw it in the garbage.
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Gange said he was on yesterday but he's not usually on during work hours. Gange said that he got so bummed out last night when Howard had friend requested him. He said that he knows that he's going to be judged on everything now that Howard mentioned it.
Gange told Yucko that he has to blog the Killers of Comedy thing that's coming up on Howard TV. He said that it wasn't his idea, he's just the middle man. He said that all of the comedians have to blog stuff.
Yucko asked if Gary put his stools on Facebook. Howard said that someone sent in a new song about the stools. Yucko said that Gary's breath smells like stool.
Howard played the new song ''Stools In Gary's Theater'' but cut it off after just a few seconds. Yucko got in a plug for the Killers of Comedy show that's going to be on Howard TV starting on February 5th. It was produced by a different company other than the Howard TV guys. Gange said they did a great job with it.
Howard asked if they had a clip of it to play. Gange said that he should have it sometime today. Howard said that you have to see Gange's Facebook page because he's updating it every minute.
Howard goofed on Gange about some of the posts he made on his Facebook account. He said that he was talking about the movies that he was going out to see and how he found the new red head chick on ''24'' to be hot. Howard told Gange he's a fuckin' douchebag. Howard said that there are people who comment on his updates too. He read through some of the other douchbag stuff that Gange was posting.
Howard asked Gange what he did on the day that they shot the ''Inside the Porn Actors Studio'' show. He said that Gange only seems to show up to the naked chick shows. Gange said that's not true.
Gary said that he was talking to Vinnie Favale yesterday about Facebook. Howard said that Vinnie is one of those guys who will take anyone on that service. Gary said that Vinnie ordered tickets to a movie on Facebook and it announced what movie you just bought tickets to. He bought tickets to see some chick flick and it posted it for everyone to see.
Gange said that Scott DePace posted pictures of him that look gay up there. Howard said that Gange must hate that. Gange said he really doesn't care.
Gange mentioned something in one of his blog posts about being woken up by Steve Grillo in the middle of the night. that led to Howard asking him why he leaves his phone on. Gange said that it's on all the time and he never turns it off just in case there's an emergency. Howard told him that he's not that important that he needs to leave his phone on all the time.
Howard read through more of Gange's posts and he was updating every single thing he was doing. Gange said that this is just a new way to have a conversation with your friends. Gange said he can catch up with people that he hasn't been in touch with in years. Howard looked at some of the girls who are Gange's ''friends'' and there was one hot chick who looked like Angelina Jolie. Artie said that's the chick that he and Gange were fighting over a few months ago. Gange said that he's hung out with her but nothing has really happened. Gange said that he's going to hang out with her until something does happen.
Howard said that Julie Slater is on Facebook a lot too. Gange said that she's on all the time. Howard said that Gange didn't even talk to Julie when he worked with her at K-Rock.
Gange said that Howard posted that he was going to be watching The Bachelor last night. Howard said he's out of that Facebook stuff now. Howard said that he posted a picture of him and Pam Anderson but no one even responded to it. Howard said that he has about 10 friends on there now. Gange said that he was going to post something but he didn't want to annoy him with that.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that they have a Miss Howard TV thing going on right now and they have video up. He said that this Tracy Pendergras goofed on Gange about his Facebook thing in her video. Doug also said that Gange posts pictures that he's not in and it shouldn't be up to him to post that stuff. Gange said that the pictures are from an event that they were at and he was just posting them.
Howard read some more of Gange's posts from his account and he had bad mouthed a movie that he didn't like. Gange was asking for the three hours of his life back.
Doug said that they're all getting obsessed with this Facebook stuff. Howard said that Doug is probably posting pictures of his kid all over the place. Doug said that he doesn't post pictures of his daughter on the web.
Gange said that Howard should feel free to post with him and he'll have a conversation with him. Howard wondered where his picture of Pam Anderson is. The guys put it up on the screen. Howard said that he wasn't going to spend time being funny on Facebook when he's supposed to be doing that on this show. Howard said that no one is paying him to do that stuff on Facebook.
Howard said he asked Beth what to put on his Facebook account and it started to feel like work to him. Howard told Jason to come in and take some bad pictures of Gange so he can post them on his Facebook account.
Howard asked Gange if he's getting laid. Gange said he's been going through a bit of a dry spell lately. He said that he will accept any hot chick on Facebook. Howard said he heard that Gange's girlfriend broke up with him. Gange said it was a mutual thing. He said he asked her to move in with him and she didn't want to do that so they ended up breaking up. Howard said that it didn't sound mutual to him.
Gary said that he's being told that the guys back there are all friends with Gange's ex and they can see her pictures of her partying and having a good time. Gange said that he's not friends with her on that so he doesn't see that stuff.
Gary said that Jason is friends with Gange's ex and they had her page up if he wanted to see. Gange didn't want to see it but Howard sounded like he did. Howard said that Jim Florentine asked him to be his friend. Howard said that out of respect to Robin he didn't accept it. Robin told him to go ahead and do it. Howard said he sees that some of the guys on the show are friends with certain people and he's not too impressed.
Howard checked out Gange's ex-girlfriend and said that she was hot. He said that she has pictures with different guys all over the place. Howard said that he wanted to see some of the other pictures. Gange said that it was kind of depressing because they dated for like 6 years.
Howard goofed on Gange as he was going through the pictures. She was making out with a guy in a couple of pictures so Howard pointed that out to Gange. Gange wasn't looking at first but then he took a look and told them who some of the guys were. He didn't know all of them though. Howard said that the other guys all had hair while Gange doesn't.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she learned how to use Facebook about a year ago. She said that she posts all good things about Howard. She said that she was upset about Scott DePace de-friending her. Gange said that Scott thought twice about having her as a friend and he took her off. Mariann said that she wasn't going to abuse that account.
Mariann said that she keeps ignoring Crazy Cabbie's requests. Howard said that JD refused her. Gange said that he did too. He said that he loves Mariann but he wants to keep it as his friends only. He said that he wants to keep it as his real friends only. Gary said that he refused her too because he doesn't want to be friends with High Pitch Eric.
Mariann said that she's not on there as much as they say. Howard said he heard that she is on all the time. Artie told her not to beg Scott DePace. It's not worth it. Howard said he's friends with Scott and it's all pictures of his dog.
Mariann asked Howard to look at her pictures. Howard said he's not interested in that. None of the guys were interested in that. Howard told Mariann that he had to go.
Scott said that Gary was rejecting a bunch of people there at work because he sees them all the time. Howard said that he was going to put up some racy pictures of Beth on his account. He said that she asked him not to and he almost did it anyway. Howard said that Beth signed him up to Facebook the other night and it kept her from making his dinner. Howard said that his piss smelled like the sauce that she had made.
Howard said that Beth seems to be friends with just about everyone. Gange had asked if he could friend her. Artie said that ''friend'' has become a new verb with this Facebook thing.
Howard said that the Facebook stuff seems to be a girl thing. He said that a lot of chicks really enjoy doing that stuff. Howard said that he could get laid on there if he wanted to. He said that it's dangerous to do that stuff.
Scott and Gange were talking about how they go through hot chick friend lists to find all of the other hot chicks. They look at all of the bikini pictures and stuff. Gary said that Shawn Bagwell has a lot of hot shots on her account. Gary said that she has pictures of herself in pageants and stuff. Scott said that Heidi Cortez has a lot of hot pictures too. He said he just took her off his friend list though.
Gary said that he just became friends with a guy who wrote ''Blazing Saddles'' and it was Vinnie Favale who had hooked him up with that guy.
Gary asked Howard if he hooked up with Chris Rock. Howard said that he doesn't want to chat with Chris on there. Gary said that Chris only has 100 friends in his account. He said that he's got some cool friends like John Singleton and people like that. Howard said that maybe he will ''friend'' him. He said he really doesn't care about that stuff though.
Gary said that he became friends with Peter Cooke and he's got a bunch of hot chick friends on his account. He said that he had one chick that was listed as graduating Princeton '09. Gary said that he's a big fan of the show.
Howard said that the interns are upset that all of the old people are on Facebook now. Gange said that some of the big fan pages that are up there are the Scott DePace is a Douchebag and the Ronnie Mund Fan Club. Gange said that he goes on the Scott DePace site and posts that he really is a douchbag. Howard said that it's all about meeting hot chicks and that's it. He let Gange and DePace go after that.
Howard said that the woman seemed to like the show. Howard said that he had to go and friend Chris Rock. Howard said that he is done with Facebook. He said that he thinks that it's so fucked up that he's not going back on. Robin said that she's been told to go on but she has been putting it off for some time now. Howard said that he can see Robin going on there and getting up to some shenanigans.
Robin said that she can imagine getting hooked up with some guy, meeting him in a parking lot, and the guy will turn out to be Benjy.
Howard said that he just wants to see how ugly the girls he's banged in the past have turned into. He said that he goes on and searches for this one girl that he wanted to bang in college. Howard said he searches her name over and over again and she never comes up.
Gary said that he has a bunch of pictures on his account and he put them up thinking that the people who were dicks to him in high school will see them. Howard said that he doesn't want to touch base with Gary, he sees him all day long. Howard said that he doesn't like the service.
Howard said that someone made an account for Beth and she started going on. She was complaining about it but now she's on it all the time. Howard said she started back in the summer.
Gary said that he used to bring in pictures and he could see the boredom on Howard's face. He would never show Howard pictures after that. Howard said he wouldn't want to see them.
Gary said that Santonio Holmes has some leaked out pictures of himself naked. He wanted to show Howard because they're so creepy. Howard looked at them and said that they can't be real because his cock was huge. Howard said if he had a cock that size he'd be taking naked pictures of himself too.
Sal said that he got those pictures from a fan on Facebook. Howard said that the guy is like the thickness of a beer can. Robin took a look and just said ''Oh my god...'' Howard went to break right after that.
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Howard read the story and JD came in and talked about how they had video of it online. JD said that they fade from the super Bowl to this woman taking a guy's dick out of his pants and then he slaps his dick back and forth when he stands up.
Howard said that guys have lost their jobs over stuff like that. Howard said that people are going to write complaint letters over that and they'll be all upset. Meanwhile it's funny. Artie said that if you're watching with your kids then it's something to be upset about. Howard read that they have about 80,000 people in the area where the screw up happened.
Howard said that Comcast is apologizing for the mistake and talking about doing the investigation. Howard said that they haven't had any complaints filed with the FCC yet. Howard said that it's just a matter of time. That led to Fred playing some audio of this nutty congresswoman going off on the guys from CBS.
Howard said that Comcast is looking into the whole thing and wondering if they'll have to discipline anyone at the company over the screw up. The Howard TV guys had the video to show them. The guys watched and described what was going on. Howard said the chick in the porn was cute. He said she looks kind of like Anne Hathaway.
Howard said that he was going to play some audio from the show but Lisa thought it was kind of boring. Howard must have agreed because he didn't play any clips.
Lisa said that Dr. Drew has been talking about Artie lately and he was saying that Artie might be the next big celebrity to die. Howard said Artie is happy because Dr. Drew called him a big celebrity. Howard had the clip of Dr. Drew talking about Artie so he played that. In the clip Dr. Drew was talking to Spike Feresten on FOX.
Lisa said that she spoke to one of Gary's guests who sat in the stools in Gary's home theater and he said that he was very comfortable in them. Lisa said that she also spoke to Richard's friend that he was crying over when he was listening to Metallica's ''One'' at a concert the other night. Richard's friend, Jason, told her some stories about Richard and one of them was about hanging Richard over a bridge to sober him up.
Howard said that all of this stuff is recorded on these cell phones that people carry around. Howard said that the cell phone is what got Michael Phelps in trouble when he got caught smoking a bong.
Howard played more of the Christian Bale tape and Bale was screaming at this guy on the set. Bale asked the guy what the fuck was wrong with him and what he didn't understand about the way he was walking through the set. He said that it was very distracting for him to walk in the back the way he was. The guy said he was just looking at the light. The guy who was being yelled at was speaking very calmly as Bale was screaming. Howard said they should put this part in the movie. He said it could make the movie really good if they included this.
Artie said that he doesn't get how this guy would be in Bale's way in the scene. They weren't sure exactly what was going on there. Howard said that Bale wasn't done yet.
Howard played more of the audio of Bale screaming at the guy. Bale wanted to go again and said he wanted to do it immediately. He asked the guy not to walk into the scene again the way he just had. Bale said that the guy wasn't professional and he's never had a ''D.P.'' (Director of Photography) act like that. Bale said that the guy doesn't know how to deal with actors. Then Bale threatened to trash the guy's lights. He told him that he's a nice guy but he's fucking up his scene.
Howard asked Gary who put together the number of ''fucks'' the guy used in that clip. Gary said that Dan the Song Parody Man did that. Robin asked the guys if they have ever had someone dress them down like that. Gary said that Howard has done that to him.
Howard played the tape that Dan put together of Bale saying ''fuck'' in many ways. It was every single ''fuck'' reference cut into one clip.
Howard said that it would be great if the world was like the Twilight Zone and Bale ended up working in a Starbucks after an outburst like that. Howard said that guy definitely sounds like he could punch out his mother.
Howard had a guy on the phone who said he knew where the clip came from. The guy said he heard that the production company sent that clip to the insurance company just in case Bale left the movie. Howard said he doesn't believe that. He said he thinks that someone just taped it and put it out there.
The caller said that they should put out some ringtones for that clip. Howard said that they will make some phony phone calls with those clips.
Howard said he loved the Lily Tomlin freaking out clip too. He said that was the best. Howard played that clip from the set of ''I Heart Huckabees.'' In that clip Lily is freaking out on the director and yelling at him and her co-star, Dustin Hoffman. Howard said that Dustin was trying to talk her down but she wasn't listening to him. She continued to freak out even after he tried to help.
Howard played another clip where Lily was freaking out again. They had some audio of the director telling Lily what to do and she ends up getting irritated and said that they were going to take it just one line at a time. She got all wound up and started freaking out about the whole thing.
Howard said it can't be that complicated. Robin said that it apparently is for Lily and Christian Bale. Howard said that it's all pretend and they treat you like a god when you're the star of a movie.
Howard played a prank call that Sal and Richard made with those Lily Tomlin audio clips. They called an auto shop and had her yelling at the employees there.
Howard said you can have a lot of fun with those clips. Howard said that they should be able to make some great calls with the Christian Bale clips.
Howard said there were some other great celebrity freaking out clips. Fred played the Bill O'Reilly freaking out clip where he doesn't understand what they're telling him to say on the teleprompter. He gets all upset and ends up yelling about the way the script was written. Then he says ''We'll do it live... we'll do it LIVE! Fuck it!... Fuckin' thing sucks!''
Artie said that the O'Reilly thing was really lame because he was getting upset about the last two lines of a TV show. Robin said that he didn't understand what he was reading because he's a ''fucking fossil!''
Howard said that they had another clip of Ronnie arguing with Lily Tomlin. They had created that from clips of Ronnie and Lily's freak out scene.
Howard said that he had Chris Berman flipping out too. Howard didn't remember that but Robin remembered it. Gary said that it was when someone walked in front of the camera. Howard played the clip and Berman tells everyone that he's trying to concentrate and everyone is moving in the background. Berman freaked out on them about distracting him that way.
Howard said that when you get too comfortable at your job you get really upset. He said that he was that way on the set of his movie. He said that he got comfortable and asked people to stay out of his eye line during the shooting of ''Private Parts.'' Howard said that he had to concentrate on the scene and asked the director not to have people moving in the background.
Howard said he got an interesting e-mail about Gary's home theater. Someone suggested that he put in all dentist chairs instead of the stools.
Gary said that he was in a meeting once and he didn't know where to look when Howard was freaking out on him. Howard said that they have a lot of material there that he wants to recycle and he wanted Gary to be in charge of it. He said that Richard and Sal are taking care of it now. Robin said that she remembered one meeting where Howard said that Gary was killing him with that stuff. He just kept saying that he was killing him over and over again. Robin said that he was also saying that he would lay awake at night thinking about what else he was forgetting about.
Gary said that Howard would tell him how to write down stuff during the show and told him to pick up a pen and move it around to write it down. Howard said that he was getting angry now that he was thinking about it today. He said that it might be time to go back to basics with some of that stuff. Howard said that Gary should never remind him about stuff like that.
Howard said that Sal and Richard are able to track down that stuff that he wants to hear and they're really on top of it. Gary said that they also have a better system there now. Howard said that it's not about that, they just care about that stuff. Gary said that they also keep track of it because Sal and Richard think that all of their creations are gold.
Howard said that Gary is spending a lot of time on Facebook lately. He said that if he has time to do that he should have time to organize the office. Gary said that Howard used to go off on him about things that would happen on a Wednesday and he'd blame the problems on his appearance that he made on the Saturday before.
Howard went off on Gary again about the complaints he used to have about what he was being paid. Howard said that he used to get paid 12 grand a year and he used to work his ass off making that small amount of money. He said that Gary claims that he wasn't making enough money but he did have the time to work harder back then.
Howard said that Sal had made a ''monkey Facebook'' page for Gary. That led to Gary talking about how Howard had yelled at Sal in a meeting one time about something last year. Howard said that he yelled at him about jerking off at work. He said that he doesn't want to be that guy who has to yell at him because he's really not the boss but he does have to do that stuff sometimes.
Gary came in and said that it wasn't the jerking off thing it was something else. Howard said that he has to yell at Sal about that kind of stuff sometimes.
Howard said that he liked the Doritos ad that they showed during the Super Bowl and he read that it cost the guys just 2 grand to make it. Howard said that it was a contest to make a great commercial and a couple of guys made it for just a couple grand and made the other commercials look like a joke.
Howard said that he got a list of all of the Mike Gange status posts and the guy showed that he was making the posts while he was at work. Howard said the guy pointed out that Gange complained about being tired a lot. Howard ended up reading through more of the posts that Gange was making. Howard had his posts about liking Cracker Barrel and posts about him being tired and crap like that. Howard said that he thinks that he is posting at work but Gange insists that he's not.
Dominic Barbara said that he went to see Artie down in Atlantic City and he met JD there. He said that he went to hug the guy and JD asked him not to touch him. Dominic found that odd but Howard didn't think it was that big of a deal.
Artie said that Dominic's new girlfriend is pretty hot. Howard asked Dominic about her and said that he sure got into that relationship quickly after breaking up with his wife. Dominic changed the subject and got back to JD. JD said that he was just joking around about that. He said that Dominic was walking around the casino during Artie's act. Dominic said he had to go to the bathroom.
Howard let Dominic go and said that he's the kind of guy who only likes famous people. He said that he won't talk to you if you don't have some kind of fame. Fred said that he heard that Dominic will talk to someone and then when he sees someone more famous walk in, he'll walk away and talk to that person.
Howard read a story about Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild creator, getting arrested for showing up 5 hours late to a court appearance. Howard read that he was suffering from the flu but they arrested him anyway. Howard said that's what's great about the authorities, they'll just throw you in jail. He said that you can't use an excuse like that with the cops.
Artie said that Joe seems like a nice enough guy but he must be one of those guys that the authorities just snub their noses at. Howard read that he's accused of not paying his taxes and could face up to 10 years in prison for that.
There was some feedback about Richard crying over a Metallica song. He read though some of that and the fans were calling Richard a fag for crying over that.
Howard said that one person was writing in and talking about how he's overly angry and he must be upset now that he's married again. Howard said that some fans are upset about the guys on the Wrap Up Show talking about their Facebook stuff.
Howard said that there are some people who really liked that Britney Stevens chick on the show. Howard said that he'd play more of her game later in the show but he had to go to break first.
Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about that. Howard said that they had ''even fart jokes get old after 20 years'' in red. Howard sadi that none of those guys who were there at the time are even there anymore.
Artie sadi that Howard was so on their minds even after he left. That ad proves it. They couldn't let it go.
Eric the Midget was on the phone. Eric said that it was about time that Howard took his call. It's been over two weeks now. HOwar dsiad that Eric is finally on the air after 2 weeks and all he can do is complain that he hasn't been on. Howard todl Eric that he can't put him on the air every day, he's buys.
Eric said that there hasn't been that much going on and they sit there bullshitting about nothing. Robin said that Eric's show is nothing too.
Fred was playing some of the ''Eric the Disrespectful piece of crap'' and similar clips like that. Eric told Fred not to hit those buttons.
Eric said that he heard that 200 tickets will be sold to his event. He said that only 2 have been sold so far. Howard asked him how he can think that he's going to sell 200 when he's only sold 2 so far. Eric said htat he easked someone to help him out. That would be Johnny Fratto. Howard said that Johnny is going to end up buying 200 tickets to his event.
Howard told ERic that he had to get going. ERic asked them to wait a minute. He sadi that his show is on tonight. Howard told Eric he really has to go. Eric said that he'd sell more tickets to his event if the team iddn't suck. Howard thanked him for that and hung up on him.
Howard said that he likes the casino but he finds it hard to believe they won awards for those commercials. Howard and the guys ended up making up their own lyrics to those songs. ARtei said that there's no difffernece between what they do with those commercials nad what Kid Rock did with his hit song that mixed a couple of classic rock songs.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he just started subscribing to Howard TV and he can't stand seeing Jason on those shows. Howard said that maybe they could blur out Jason's image for this guy. The guy said he was watching Beat the Booey and he saw Jason's hairy back and it was just disgusting.
The caller said that he doesn't mind seeing Gary on the shows but Jason just irritates him. Howard said that it is a radio show being filmed. The caller said that he has to fast forward through that stuff. Jason came in and said he gets it already.
Howard said that Jason has gotten really fat lately. Jason said that he knows it's disgusting. He said that he's up around 300 pounds. Howard said that they had a picture of Jason and he looked really wide. Jason couldn't believe that he was in this one picture they showed. Howard asked Jason if his wife is gaining weight because of his poor eating habits. Jason said that he's a bad influence, that's all he'll say.
Sal came in to measure Jason's waist but he ended up measuring the wrong area and then grabbed his cock. The caller said that Robin is looking really hot now that she's lost weight. Sal continued to try and measure Jason but he was measuring the wrong area. Sal measured something and came up with 60 inches. It was actually 56 1/2 under his belly. Howard asked Jason where he gets pants that big. Jason said he has 48 pants and they're not that big.
Ralph called in and said that Jason is always smoking pot and eating anything that's around. Jason said he really doesn't keep food in the house. Jason said that this morning he had a bagel with cream cheese. Howard told Jason that he could eat a bagel and lox for breakfast and a normal lunch, he'd be fine. He's putting cream cheese on the bagel and that doesn't help. Jason said that it never crossed his mind to not put cream cheese on it.
Jason said that he had tacos for lunch yesterday. Artie told him to switch from pot to coke for just two months and he'd lose the weight. Jason talked about some of the other meals he had and Howard said there has to be something else going on with Jason. Howard said that it's got to be the cream cheese and tacos.
Artie said that Jason married a pretty girl and you end up getting complacent. Howard said that he's afraid that his wife is going to get fat. Jason said he's worried about that too. Jason said that it's going to rub off on her eventually and he really doesn't want that.
Jason said that he knows he has to get to the gym and he really does care about it now. Artie asked him if he wants to have kids soon. Jason said he didn't. Howard told him that he shouldn't have kids at all.
Howard played the first question which was ''Where is your cranium located?'' The caller had to guess if Britney would know the answer. The caller said that he doesn't think she'll know it. Britney said ''In your skull.''
Howard played the next one which was ''What is the capital of California?'' The caller figured that she'd know it. Britney said ''Umm... USA?'' The caller missed that one too.
The next question was ''What is 10 percent of 100?'' Howard said that most people would know that. The caller said that this is tough and he figured that she had to know the answer. Howard said she did know who was on a nickel in the last game. Britney's answer was ''50.'' The caller lost the game so Howard had to move along.
Howard said that the game is better when he sticks to the rules and doesn't just give money to the callers. Howard said that he had more questions and moved on to another caller. He picked up on Susie who had called in about JD last week. She said that they told her that they would put up her picture on the monitor if she called again. The Howard TV guys got the picture a few seconds later so Howard could see her.
JD came in and said that he really doesn't want this girl now that she's calling in again. Howard asked Susie if she has pancake tits because they looked flat in the picture. She said that she really doesn't have them. Howard said that she's kind of cute. He said that she looks good to him. Howard asked Benjy if he wanted her. Benjy said that he thinks she is attractive. Benjy said that maybe he could get her JD for her.
JD said that he definitely didn't want her now that she's called in. Howard said that she looked good to him. Fred said that JD likes chicks with fat asses.
Howard said that he was going to give her the chance to win some money. JD told her to leave him alone and win some money. Howard asked JD why he's so angry at someone who likes him. JD said that he knows he's weird about the whole thing. Howard said she's not even being persistent with him, she was just calling in to show some pictures. Howard said that JD has a girl who likes him and he's acting like a dick to her.
Howard got back to the game and played the first question for Susie. It was ''What country do Chinese people come from?'' Howard and the guys figured there was no way she wouldn't know that. Susie said that she would know it. Britney did get it right.
Sal asked Britney ''What is Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?'' Howard said that she might not know that one. Susie said no. Britney said ''Robin.'' Howard played the next one which was ''How many cards are in a deck of cards?'' Susie said that she wouldn't know and she was right because Britney said ''28.'' Susie won $500 after guessing that one right.
Howard said that David Brenner was coming in. He said that he had to take a break first. Howard talked about Brenner coming in to admit that he's lied about his age for years. Howard said that's like Gary thinking that no one knew he had caps. Robin said that it's like Clay Aiken admitting he's gay. They went to break after that.
Howard had David Brenner come in and asked him what happened with the Tonight Show thing. David said that he was caught up in a custody battle back then and he had to not work more than 50 nights in a year. He said that he had to remove his name from the list and had to back out of the deal. He said that he'd love to have that job but Jay won't even have him on the show now.
David said that he runs into Jay once in a while but he just won't book him on the show. Howard asked David why that is. David said he has no idea what the reason is. He said that Jay even gave him a blurb for his last book.
David said that he's asked Jay why he doesn't have him on the show and Jay tells him that he has to ask the staff. Howard said that's bullshit and he could just book him.
Howard asked David why he thinks that they didn't know that he was lying about his age. David asked Howard how old he thinks he looks. Howard said he didn't want to insult him. Howard said that he and Robin always knew he was lying about his age. Howard asked Robin how old she thinks he looks. Robin said that David has always looked good and kept himself in shape.
Howard guessed 64 or 65. Robin said that's about right. David said that he didn't get into comedy that early in his life but he did look young. David said that he didn't care about his age but his manager said that they were losing dates because of his age. David said that they thought he was over 30 so they had to say he was younger. David said that he wondered how much younger he should say. His manager left that up to him. David said that he was 33 at the time and he took 9 years off his age.
David said that he had to lie and do math every time they asked him how old he was. David said that he was 35 when he was on the Tonight Show the first time so he had to lie to everyone about that, even his doctors.
Howard said that David was vain and that's why he did it. David said that's not the truth. He said that he did it to get gigs and he had to keep it up over the years. He said he lied to everyone, even the women he was with.
David said that he was always in good shape when he'd go to the doctors and they'd tell him that he was in great shape for that age and he'd ask how he'd be in 9 years and they'd tell him he wouldn't be in that kind of shape.
David said that he will be, on his next birthday which is coming up soon... and cut himself off. He said that he was getting depressed telling people how old he was. He said that when he turned 60 he was saying he was 51. David said that tomorrow is his birthday and he's going to be 73. Robin said ''You're kidding!'' Howard said that he could easily pass for 71. Howard said ''Holy mackerel'' when he heard that. Howard asked him if he can still get it up. David said that of course he can.
David said that he has a phony ID that he still carries around. Robin said that David's age never changed even though everyone else's did.
David showed Howard the fake ID he had and Howard said it showed he was born in 1995. David said that it was actually 1945. Howard said that it was very fake and it wasn't a real ID card. David said that he got all screwed up after 9/11. He said that he used to go the airport and they didn't take his photocopied passport so he whipped out the fake ID and he got through security.
Howard asked David if he got married to Tai Babalonia. David said that he's engaged but not married yet. Howard said that David was married to one woman years ago and then one day he woke up and she was just a totally different woman to him and they had to break up. David talked about the kids they had together.
Howard asked David if he's going to retire now that he's come out with this age thing. David said he's going out on a big tour soon. He said that he has to go out and do this because of the recession or depression or whatever this is we have going on.
David said that he might go out for over a year on this tour. Howard asked David if Tai has a lot of money. David said that she did make a lot of money doing what she did. He said that she has a clothing company and writes for a skating magazine and other stuff. Howard asked David how she is in bed. David said she's fabulous. Howard asked what fabulous means to him. David said that fabulous is when you have an orgasm and don't want to beat the shit out of the woman.
Howard asked David if he's into anal. David said he doesn't like anyone messing around with his rear end. Howard asked him if he sticks it in Tai's ass. David said he never said that. He said that he likes sex and he gets it up just fine though.
Howard asked David how often he has sex with Tai. He said that he has sex with her every night that he's with her. He said that they might skip a night once in a while but most of the time they're together. David said that he always had an addiction and it was women. He said that he's always loved women. Howard said that he used to pick up the hottest women walking down the street.
Howard asked David about foreplay and if he still has to do that. David said that you really do have to do that stuff. He said that you have to satisfy the woman first. Howard said that he's really curious about how long he can last inside of Tai. Howard asked him how long he can last. David said that he can last a long time. He said he knows when to slow it down and not pop. Howard said that it's very hard for him to hold back. David said you have to put it in your head that you have to slow down. Howard asked if he can go for 3 or 4 minutes. David said that it's more than that. He said that he can just keep going. Howard said he can't go more than 3 minutes. He said that it feels too good to him to last longer than that.
David told Howard that he's like a monkey. Howard said that there have been times when he's only lasted a few seconds. Howard didn't seem to get the concept of slowing down and making it last longer. Howard said that if a woman gets on all fours with him, he's done.
Howard asked David if he's faithful to Tai. David said that when he settles in with a woman he's faithful. He said he wouldn't mess around with anyone else. Howard asked about the ex-girlfriend. David said that she still looks great.
David said that things got really bad with that ex and if they didn't have e-mail then they wouldn't have ever spoken again. David said that his kids love him and he had to try and get custody of them.
David said that he went to see this play that his kid was in one time. He said that he saw the kid playing the Wizard and he had a small moustache on his face that made him look like Hitler. David said he turned to some guy in the crowd and told him the kid looked like Hitler. It turns out the guy was the kid's father. David said that he told his kid that he was great in the play and it turns out the kid wasn't even in it and it was going to be the night after.
David said that he has had 19 years of being in family court. He said that he's a pro now. He said that he has won 3 custody battles. He said that he has a 50/50 slit with custody now. He said that he didn't want to let his wife take the kids to California while he stayed in Las Vegas. David said that he's 73 years old now and he's trying to take care of himself. He said he's not sure how much longer he'll be around and he thinks the kids need a father and he needs his kids.
David said that he found out that a woman will jump in font of a train to save her kid but she'll also take that same kid and throw him in front of the train to get back at a man. David said that the ex now commutes between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. David said that Tai lives in Oregon now and they don't live together. they have to commute too. David said that he'd love to live with her though. David said that he goes nuts when he's not with her. He said he doesn't jerk off though. He hasn't done that since he was 14 years old.
Howard said that David is going out on tour starting in May. Howard said that this could be his last tour. You can find out more at DavidBrenner.net.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told David what a big fan she is. She told him that she had just friended him on Facebook.
Howard asked David if he was friends with Joan Rivers or anyone else in the business. David said he wasn't really close to her. David talked about other women that he was with and how he would rather have a regular woman and not someone in the business.
Howard said that he's happy for David and he seems to be in a good place. David said that he should be doing commercials because he's had nothing done to him as far as plastic surgery. David said that he did have a nose job though. Howard said that he had one too. David told Howard he should sue the doctor if he had a nose job.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he hopes that David doesn't get into trouble with the ID now that he admitted the fake ID thing. The caller had called David ''Richard'' so David said that he gets confused with Richard Belzer all the time.
Another caller said that his mother went to David Bar Mitzvah but David said that he didn't have one so he knew the guy was lying.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked David about having a kid later in life and to tell Howard about that. David said that his kids see him working out and stuff and they tell him that he's in great shape for his age while their friend's fathers aren't in good shape at all and they're only in their 40s. David said that his son Cole doesn't want him to tell him how old he is. He said that his friends may come and tell him how old he is now though.
Howard said that he's very happy not having kids and he thinks that it would ruin his life. David said that they do say that kids change your life. David said that they actually ruin it. He said he doesn't want kids around him at all. He said that kids are like hemorrhoids, even when they're perfect they're a pain in the ass.
David said that he's lucky he's as good looking as he is. He said that his son Cole is great now but his 13 year old is a pain in the ass who won't do his work. David said that the kid is wonderful and funny but he would tell Howard not to have any kids. Howard said that he's not going to have any kids.
David said that his first kid was an accident. He said that when he was 14 he tried a rubber and never put one on again. He said that he hasn't used a condom since he was 14. David said that when AIDS hit he was scared and he started to settle down with one woman at a time. He said that he doesn't use a condom now and he just finishes inside of women and if they get pregnant, they get pregnant. David said that the women he's with will usually be on the pill though.
David said that one kid was an accident and then a second kid was an accident but only after they lost a child to a miscarriage. David said that he agreed to have the kid after she lost the other one.
Howard said that he loves to wear a rubber because he doesn't want to get Beth pregnant. Howard said that Beth has said that she wouldn't have an abortion if she got pregnant. David said that he finishes in a woman because it's a different feeling. He said that finishing outside would be like vomiting and keeping your mouth closed.
Howard said that he has to wear a rubber because he'd be done before he even got inside if he didn't wear one. Howard said that he throws the things in the toilet when he's done. He said that he has had kids in the past so he knows what it's like to have sex without one. Howard said he can't believe that David is cumming inside women though. Howard said that he could have ruined his life doing that. Robin said that he did.
Howard couldn't believe what David was telling him. David said that when you do have a kid you do everything you can to make them happy.
Howard said that they learned a lot today and they have a lot to absorb. Robin asked David what he's going to do when all of these people ask him about what he admitted to today. David said that he always told Howard the truth except about his age. He said that he has a feeling he's going to have pains that he's never had before. Howard gave David some more plugs and then went to break.
Howard said that Gary is still obsessed about Robin's $800 wine. He found out that the guy at Danielle who handles the wine even said that Robin should know that they don't have to get that kind of expensive wine. Robin said she knows that she doesn't have to spend that kind of money on wine.
Howard said that he went to that restaurant again and had a cheaper bottle of wine and it was really good. He said that they really didn't have to go for that expensive stuff. Robin said she knows that and she thought it was just a special occasion.
Howard played the ''$800 Wine'' song parody and Robin asked him to hand her the bottle so she could knock herself out with it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that about 2 years ago Howard pranked their business and she had never heard the call. Howard said that he would have the guys send them the tape. The woman said that she can't get a SIRIUS radio. Howard said that she was the one who took the Lily Tomlin audio clips. Gary said that it was all done so Howard hung up on her. Gary said that he needed her on hold but Howard said he assumed that he had taken care of it when he said ''all done.'' Howard said that when you say ''all done'' it means that you took care of it already.
Howard went off on Gary about his home theater and if he has cup holders in his comfortable chairs. Gary said that Howard will never know. Howard said that he just wanted to know but Gary was getting all pissed off at him.
Howard said that he loves that Gary gets all defensive when he tries to tell him something reasonably. Gary said that if he didn't want him to get mad at him it wouldn't be on the radio.
Howard said that Gary is looking fat and has a double chin. Gary said that he can lose weight but Howard is getting older every day. Howard said that he might have some grey but not as much as Gary.
Howard and Gary said that they don't have any grey pubes yet but Artie does. Artie said it's really depressing to have grey pubes. He said that he has to cut them out just in case he's going to be with a chick. Artie said that he'll trim up for the first time he's with her but then he gets complacent.
Artie said that women want to look good down there and guys really don't care about themselves. Artie said that he doesn't want to look like Gabe Kalpan in the 70s in a knee lock so he does some trimming.
Artie asked Howard about the really smoking blonde that was on Brenner's comedy show when Howard was on. He wondered if that was the woman that he was dating back then. Howard said that David was dating that chick at the time. Artie said that she was a 10. Howard said that he went on that show and did a scene and got to make out with the chick on that show. Howard said that his mother was on that show with him too.
Steve said that they have an update on the school teacher who was fired after she was on the Stern Show. She is making progress in her court case. They also have a story about Crumbs bakery opening up a store in New Jersey soon and they'll be bringing the Artie Lange cupcake there.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down the list of subjects they were going to cover today.
Robin read a story about Brian McNamee coming on the show on Monday. Howard said that it is big news because he's not talking about this stuff anywhere else and he's going to break the news on the show on Monday. Howard said that he's going to talk about the Roger Clemens stuff as far as he knows. Robin said that he claims in this article that he can't talk about it.
Robin read that Joe Torre is going to be doing some book signings in the area so she wondered if he's going to have anyone showing up. Artie said that he still likes Torre even though he wrote that book. He said that he's heard that he's really not that nice of a guy though.
Robin read that Lawrence Taylor is going on Dancing with the Stars. Artie said that was like a dagger to the heart to him. Howard found that hard to believe too. The guys talked about some other sports stuff as well. They spent a short time on the Knicks.
Robin read some news about the skydiver whose instructor died on the way down. The guy had to steer himself down while the instructor was dead on his back. The guy managed to land about 3 miles from the area where they were supposed to land.
Robin read a story about the parade that they're going to have for the Steelers in Pittsburgh. She also talked about the Doritos commercial that they were talking about earlier and how that was a contest that they had done. Robin read about the guys who created that commercial that ended up getting raves from the fans and won them $1 million.
Robin talked about the ratings for the Super Bowl. She said she didn't know that there was going to be that much interest in the game.
Robin read a story about Britney Spears wanting to take her kids out on the road during her tour. Kevin Federline says she can do that if she pays him. She's apparently willing to pay him $4,000 a week and they allegedly made the deal under the table without any lawyers.
Howard mentioned that their friend Flo Rida has come out with a new hit song. He played some of that. He talked about the time the guy came in and performed while throwing money up in the air while this girl with a huge ass danced around.
Howard said that Flo Rida sampled some of the song ''You Spin Me Round'' and changed the lyrics up. Howard said that everything is about sex with that guy. Howard said he likes the song ''Brown Mound'' better and played the song parody that was almost the same thing as Flo Rida's song. Artie said that it's actually better and he should have a number one song with that. Artie said that song really is great. Howard played Flo Rida's song again and said that kids are going to love that song.
Howard said that everyone is talking about that movie ''Taken'' and how good that is. Howard said that Gange talked about the movie on his Facebook page. Howard recited what Gange and Kendra Jade talked about with that movie. Howard said that Kendra is married now to that guy from Rock Star Supernova. Howard said that Gange is still busy writing to her too. Howard and the guys goofed on Gange a bit after that.
Robin read some more news about the Super Bowl commercials that were found to be the funniest. She had a couple of clips from a few of those commercials. Robin had him play the baby talking commercials and Howard hates them. Howard said that those are just bad. He liked the Denny's commercial with the mobsters talking and the waitress interrupting them with the spraying of the whipped cream.
Robin said that there's some backlash of Jennifer Hudson's singing since she lip synced that. Howard said that he thought he was being a little hard on her until he found out that she was lip syncing it.
Robin read some news about Miley Cyrus making fun of Asian people and getting into some trouble for that. Howard said that you can't do anything anymore without getting into trouble. Howard said he noticed that they didn't even have any hot chicks in the beer commercials this year. He said that GoDaddy.com had just one hot chick and they told you to go visit their web site to find out what happened in that.
Robin read some news about the movie ''Slumdog Millionaire'' and said some people in India are upset about the portrayal of the lives of people over there.
Robin read a story about Gordon Ramsey's TV shows and how much he swears in those shows. They counted one show and came up with 312 curses.
Robin read that Nick Hogan is being allowed to get behind the wheel of a car again. He's only allowed to drive for business purposes.
Robin had a story about Ashton Kutcher coming to the defense of Michael Phelps. She said that Kutcher is saying that he shouldn't have been outed for that and that's the kind of thing that anyone his age might do. Howard said he kind of agrees with him on that.
Robin said that someone is coming to the defense of Christian Bale after his outburst on the set of the Terminator movie. Robin said that the person is saying that Christian wasn't like that all day long on the set and it was just a bad day. That led to them playing Crackhead Bob singing ''Had a Bad Day.'' Artie said he misses Crackhead Bob.
Robin read about Joe Francis' arrest and how he was supposed to be in court but was a no-show. Howard said that he wanted to come to his defense like Ashton did with Michael Phelps. Howard said that even he has made a mistake in his life... once.
Robin read about Rod Blagojevich making appearances all over the place after being removed from office. Howard said he wishes that he would come on his show. Howard said that he saw Jimmy Kimmel had Rod's hair eating Joy Bahar in a bit they did on his show.
Robin read a story about a baby over in England that's only 14 inches tall and 7 pounds. She hasn't gained any weight in 14 months since being born. She was born 4 weeks early and stayed at the birth weight for 8 months and has only put on a few pounds in 6 months. Howard said it would be great if every woman stayed at her birth weight. Robin said that would be sick.
Robin read a story about Halle Berry's boyfriend wanting to have a big family with Halle. Howard sarcastically said he's sure that relationship will last. He said that she gets into relationships where the next guy is better looking than the next. Howard said she keeps marrying guys who she's not going to stay with.
Artie said that he's not going to get into any more relationships because he can't imagine one ending in anything but disaster.
Robin read a story about Roman Polansky trying to get back into the country but the court isn't allowing his conviction to be thrown out.
Robin read a story about a missile that has been seen being moved in Russia that could possibly reach Hawaii or Alaska.
Robin read a story about the show ''Kyle XY'' being canceled. Robin said she liked it but Howard said he stopped watching that a long time ago.
Robin read through a couple of other stories and wrapped up a short time later. Howard ended the show around 10:40am.
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Jon went through the list of stuff they were going to cover today and wanted to start off with the subject of David Brenner. He and Gary talked about how far back Brenner and Howard go. Gary said that he was reminding Will about how he was in line to replace Johnny Carson back in the days when Carson was talking about leaving.
Gary said that Brenner got the show as soon as he started appearing on it. He said that Howard told Brenner about how management was messing with him and Brenner went to Pig Virus and told him that they didn't know what they had on their hands there and that they should leave him alone and let him do his thing.
Jon said that back when David had his TV show he had Howard on. They talked about that for a minute and also talked about how Brenner picked keeping his kid over taking the Tonight Show. Gary said that was no easy task for David to do. He said that David would talk about that stuff on the show and in the papers back then. He said that David's wife even called in and had it out with him on the air.
Gary said that they knew that David was lying about his age even before he admitted to it. Gary said that he has a David Brenner file and they had a year book picture of him from his actual high school year book. They've known his age all along. Gary said that David looks great for his age though. He said that he looks like he's in his mid-60s and he is in good shape.
Benjy said that he would have guessed that he was 70 or 71. He said that he didn't think he looked that much younger. Gary said that Benjy used to do research on Brenner and he'd bring in even more proof. They played a clip of Brenner telling Howard his age and Howard and Robin being shocked.
Gary and Jon talked about Brenner saying that he's probably been with 2000 women. Gary said that he believes that number and they've had women tell them stories about being with him and Brenner doesn't even remember them all.
Gary said that the no condom thing was shocking to him. He said that was a big deal. Gary said that the germ and disease thing is what would scare him.
Gary said that the interns were wondering who Tai Babalonia was. Gary said he had to explain that to the interns since she was an Olympic figure skater many years ago. Gary said he can remember her being very popular at the time.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they don't have David on more often. Gary said that David calls them to be on and he just called recently to come in. The caller also asked about the stools in the home theater that he has. Gary said he's going to buy even more. The caller said that they should turn all of the stools over and let all of the Mets fag fans ride on the legs.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Gary that Howard doesn't have a clue about what his life is like and he's wrong for going off on him about the home theater. Gary said that he got an e-mail from Dan Patrick who told him that he gets the difference between what he has and what Howard would have. The caller said that Howard just has no idea what it's like.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Benjy about the way Brenner's life was messed up by lying about his age. Benjy said that it didn't screw up his life at all.
Jon took some more calls and one guy asked if they really believe that the final MASH episode had the big ratings that they claim it did. Gary said he believes that it is real. He said that he was a young kid at the time but he remembers watching it. He said that there was less competition at the time and more people watched just a few shows. Jon said that it was one of the first big finale events that the networks did. They used to just let the shows go away.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that maybe they should drug test Benjy today. He said he sounded like he was out of it today. Gary said he noticed that Benjy walked in about 4 minutes late this morning. He said that Howard didn't notice it though. Benjy said that he has smoked pot before but he doesn't usually do drugs.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Gary if he thinks that Howard has changed about the way he goofs on him. Gary said that Howard has mellowed a lot over the years. Gary said that he used to get scared of being fired when that kind of stuff would happen off the air. He said that on the air is one thing but off the air is another.
Gary told a story about Howard's book and how he had screwed something up and Howard found out about it. Howard went off on him saying ''You've failed me'' and hung up on him. He said that Howard's agent called him a short time later and told him that it was just water under the bridge and they had to move on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the bar in Gary's home theater would be great for watching TV. Gary said that he'd rather have people eating back there than in the chairs. The caller also asked about the way Sal and Richard prank call people and wondered how they get approval to play them on the air. Gary said that Sal usually does that and he has a certain way of sweet talking people that gets them to agree to it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Howard seems to be in an awful mood lately. He asked if there's something going on. Gary said that he thinks that the stools in the home theater bit is just a good radio thing. The caller said that Howard seems to be really hard core lately and he doesn't get it. Gary said that there have been periods of time when Howard would be getting upset about the littlest things and he would wave him off and not let him talk. He said there were times when he really thought Howard hated him.
Jason came in and said that when he did the thing with David Brenner he thinks that he overheard him talking about his weight so he thinks that he was referencing that.
Jason said that he's wanted to lose weight lately and today has motivated him to lose some. He said that he really got freaked out when he saw the Paul McCartney picture today. He said that he just looks gross in that picture and he has nothing else to add to that.
Jason said that he hates looking at himself in the mirror because it is so disgusting. Jon asked Jason if he needs a contest to get him motivated. Jason said that he was really motivated during the weight loss challenge and that may play into it some. He said that he shouldn't have to have a competition to do that though.
Jason said that he doesn't eat the kind of food that Artie eats and he thinks that he puts on weight easier than some people do. Gary said that's what all fat people say.
Jason said that he thinks that if he sat down with Will or Steve Brandano and ate the exact same food as them, he'd still gain weight and they wouldn't.
Jason talked about how his diet and how he knows he doesn't eat healthy but he really doesn't eat that much food. Gary said that he eats a bunch of crap food and he's lucky he's not fatter than he is. Jason said that he loves to cook and he uses butter and cheese and stuff.
Jason broke a chair at Kevin Kraft's house one day but he thinks that it was shoddy craftsmanship. Jason said that he has to shop at Casual Male. Kevin came in and said that the chair wasn't new and it wasn't shoddy craftsmanship. He said that there were no loose screws or anything. Jason broke a plastic wheel on the chair. Jason admitted that he crushed that wheel.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's 6'6'' tall and weighs about 350 pounds and said that he's only got a 50 inch waist. Jason said that he's about a foot taller than him. Jason thanked him for pointing out that he's fat.
Ralph called in and said that he wanted to say that there's a poll on HowardStern.com about Bruce Springsteen and they say that he said that the performance was awful. He said he never said that, he just doesn't like Bruce.
Ralph said that if you want to lose weight you have to stop with the processed food and food with carbs in it. He said that he doesn't have to go on a diet, he just has to change what he eats a little bit. Ralph said that you can't keep eating chips and processed food.
Jason asked about wheat bread. Ralph told Jason to just cut bread out completely. He told him that wheat bread is bullshit and it's all processed foods. He said that he rarely eats any bread. He does on occasion but not very much.
Ralph said that Jason should stop with the drugs he's on too. Jason said that he needs the drugs and he can't stop with that. Gary said that Ralph is really good at doing this stuff and he never calls to help people figure out their careers. Gary said that Ralph doesn't want to hear about stuff that he's weak on.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that he lost 30 pounds in the last 3 months. He said that he's shocked that he's done it. He said that he's been going to this sandwich place every day and eating half a sandwich and some yogurt and granola. He said that he isn't eating a ton of food. Vinnie said that you have to become an idiot savant with the food and just stick to simple things like that. Vinnie told Jason that he can do this. Vinnie said that he'll have two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or some weight watchers ravioli for dinner.
Vinnie said it works for him. Gary asked Vinnie if he can tell the story about taking him to the personal trainer. Vinnie said that was really embarrassing. Gary said he was going to this trainer and he brought Vinnie on one occasion to show him what it was about. Vinnie didn't have the right clothes so he came out in his underwear instead of a t-shirt and shorts. Gary said it was very weird because they were at a gym. Vinnie said that he never works out so he wasn't prepared.
Ralph called back and said that it was awful advice he was giving. Ralph told him to get the fuck out of there with that Eggo stuff. Vinnie said that he lost 30 pounds doing that. Vinnie said that he's probably as thin as Ralph is right now. Vinnie said that he's like 187 pounds. Ralph said that Vinnie is like 3 feet tall though.
Jon let the two of them go so they could continue that off the air. They had to go to break after that.
JD said that Susie e-mailed him and sent him some pictures. He said that he thinks that she was just using him to get to the show. He said that her friend is trying to be Artie's assistant too so she might be using him for that too.
Doug said that she's not using those pictures to get on TV or anything because she asked him not to use them on TV. Doug said that he'd love to have a girl in Florida. JD said that maybe he already does. JD said she's already in a relationship too. JD said that he's just sick of people getting involved in his personal life.
Jon said that JD is getting some interest from people and he's reacting strangely. JD said he's not used to it and it's bothersome to him.
Jon asked if JD thinks that Howard's last day on Facebook was yesterday. JD said he thinks he'll give it some more days. He said that he doesn't hang out with Howard himself so he hasn't gotten any friend requests from Howard. He said that he did request Beth himself though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard rips on this new technology but then he rips on his parents about them not taking in any of this new technology. The guy said that Howard is just like his parents and he doesn't even know it.
JD said that the technology is one thing but Facebook is social interaction so it's not the same thing. Doug said that Howard seems to be turning into his mom according to some people. He said that Howard complains about stuff just like his parents do. Doug said that he's heard that from a few people lately. Jon said that you do hear a lot of Ben and Ray in Howard but it's not as bad as they're making out to be.
Jon asked JD if he thinks that Gange deserved as much of that crap as he was taking. JD said that he does update it a lot with a bunch of details. JD said that he doesn't really update it that much like Gange does. The guys talked about how much time some of these people spend on Facebook.
Teddy said that he was doing some mobile updates for a while. He said that he and JD were doing that together and taking douchy photos together when they were out on the road. JD said that they can't do that now that Teddy isn't out on the road with Artie.
Mike Gange called in and asked why Howard is even on Facebook if he's not into it. Jon said that Howard isn't into it that much. Gange said that Howard posted that he was watching The Bachelor and he'll keep posting that stuff now that he's on. He doesn't think that he was goofing on him or trying to be funny. Jon said that he may have been mocking Gange.
Gange was also talking about how Jason had put his ex up on the computer for the guys to see. Jason was the only staffer there who was friends with her so he knew that it was him who did it. Mike said that he was kind of upset about that but there's not much he can do about it.
Gange said that anything that people do to have fun is evil to Howard and he just doesn't want them to have any fun. Doug said he kind of agrees with him on that and Howard really doesn't like any of this stuff that the rest of them do unless he's into it himself.
Jon said that doing Facebook is more of a showing off thing than playing chess. Gange said that Howard has a huge radio show, that's showing off.
The guys talked about how Scott DePace seems to be addicted to Facebook right now and he's always on it. Doug said that he thinks that it's just a new thing for him and he'll eventually get sick of it.
Jon took another call from a guy who went off on JD about getting upset about people getting into his personal life. He told JD that he's on a radio show and of course people are going to get into his personal life. The guy said that JD should just have fun with it instead of getting upset about it.
Another caller said that JD seems to be more confident today and he must be on Jason's confidence pills or something. JD said that he's not. The caller said that he didn't thin that JD was out of line talking about that chick Susie the way he was. He said that he agrees with him about her just trying to get on the show.
Another caller said that he wants to know out of Jason, Jon and Benjy, who is the fattest out of them all. Jon said that he was going to stay out of the answer. Doug said that he thinks that Jason has about 50 pounds on Benjy right now. Doug said that Jon isn't really fat, he's just a big boned guy.
Ralph called in again and asked Jon why he doesn't eat healthy food. Jon wondered why he was the subject now. Jon said that the one vice he has is the way he eats. The guys talked about that and about the Facebook thing. Ralph didn't get it and wasn't sure what it was all about. Ralph said that he doesn't think that he'd be interested in Doug's family or anyone like that. Jon said that it's more about people that you DO want to be in touch with. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about it being Wednesday. Artie said he could confirm that since there were cupcakes out in the hall. He said he was pissed because he brought in an Entenmann's cake this morning and forgot that it was cupcake Wednesday. Howard and Artie talked about the Entenmann's cakes for a minute.
Howard said that he works very hard there and when he went on Facebook he was just checking up on the employees there. He said that he went on Heidi Cortez's account and became her friend. Howard said he saw someone with Robin's picture and name up there and thought she had created an account. Robin said that she's not on there and that is not her.
Howard said he was losing interest in the whole Facebook thing and only spent about 2 minutes on there yesterday. He said that he had 17,000 friend requests. Howard said that Heidi Cortez left him a video message so he had to check that out.
Howard said that there's a story about Sting telling Bruce that he could go out on his own and dump the band. Bruce did go out on the road for years without the E Street Band. He left them hanging and the guys had to scramble to go out and make some money. Howard said he thought that Little Steven left because of Bruce but Artie said that Steven left on his own before Bruce dumped the band.
Howard said that Max ran into Conan in a restaurant and Conan asked him to be his band leader. That was luck for Max. Artie said that it was a blessing for Max but he doesn't think that he has to move to L.A. with Conan. Howard said that Conan must be thinking that it would be nice for Max to stick with him out there.
Howard read the story in the paper about Robin's weight loss. They claim that Robin has lost 90 pounds thanks to the book ''21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox.''
Howard asked if it was really that much weight. Robin said that it was up around that much. Howard read that she wasn't even able to walk up stairs 18 months ago. They said that Robin finished up her program this past weekend when she was up in Martha's Vineyard for some more treatments. Robin was getting coffee enemas up there. They said that she was getting them while she was watching tennis.
Howard asked Robin if this story upsets her because they didn't ask her if they could release this information. Robin said that they need the attention and she's okay with it. Robin said that she has to learn to keep her mouth shut about some stuff now. She said that now she knows that when she talks to this one guy she'll have to keep her mouth shut.
Howard read through more of the article and Robin said that she now knows that she has to keep her mouth shut about this stuff around certain people. Howard said that it must be upsetting because this guy who is supposed to be her friend is going to Page Six with this stuff.
Howard said that people are going to think that Robin is a kook after reading this stuff. Howard told Robin that she seems to be up to a lot lately. Artie asked if it was only 18 months ago that she started this thing. Robin said that it was back in 2007 when she started it. Howard said that he thinks that Robin's ideal weight is another 15 pounds lighter. Robin said it might be somewhere around there. Howard said they should give her a make over on the show after that.
Howard said that Robin might have to keep hanging around these people because the weight loss thing does seem to be working.
Howard said that Robin keeps finding these young guys and she keeps opening up to them. Robin said that she was texting one of her friends while she was getting this enema and watching tennis at the same time. Howard said that he'd like to know what other information they had that they didn't print in the story today. Howard said there might be some details that he'd be interested in that they couldn't put in that article.
Howard said that people who pitch ideas to the Page Six people must have even more details. Howard asked if the guy knows what kind of stuff was coming out of her ass while she was getting the enema. Robin said that's funny but she wasn't telling anyone about that.
Howard said they should report on what comes out of Robin every day. He asked her what kind of coffee she was using for her enema. Robin said that it was a dark roast organic coffee. Howard said he thinks that she should be consulted before they go to the newspapers with this stuff. Robin said she just has to learn to keep her mouth shut when she's talking to people.
Howard said that even Robin can get duped. He said that even Ashton Kutcher admitted that he can have bad judgment. Robin read a story about him yesterday where he admitted that. Howard said that Ashton admitted he had bad judgment in that story and goofed on him about that. Artie said that Ashton changing the name of Candid Camera to ''Punk'd'' might have been bad judgment.
Howard said he was reading about some mob story in the paper. Robin wondered why people get into the mob knowing that their friends are going to kill them eventually. Howard said that one guy apparently beat up Victoria Gotti and the guys were told not to kill the guy but to beat the crap out of him instead. They did that and shot the guy in the ass.
Howard read that the store Fortunoff's might be going bankrupt. Howard said that doesn't mean they're going out of business but they're not doing very well. Howard said that he used to go shopping there when he was a kid.
Howard said that a lot of the stuff is going to the internet now and Beth is always getting boxes from online stores. He said that she'll just try on stuff and, if it doesn't fit, she just sends it back. Howard said that Beth can find her size anywhere on the internet and they don't always have her size in stores.
Robin said that she used to think that she had to buy shoes in the store but they've all gone on the internet now. Howard said that buying a girl a pair of shoes is a great way to impress her. He said that they love that shit.
Artie said that he took Dana out shopping for shoes one time and she found a gay guy to help her pick out the shoes. Artie said that she was down to two pair that she liked and he just wanted to get out of there so he told her to buy both pair.
Howard said that Beth likes to wear heels and she can do it since he's so tall. Howard said that Beth has no problem walking in heels. Robin said that she and Beth had the same pair of shoes on one time and neither of them could walk that night.
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Howard said that the guy is in full denial. He said it's like full PTL Club denial. Howard played some of the audio from the show and Dave was on and ripping the guy apart as soon as he started the interview. Artie said that's the old Letterman right there and he's really on with the guy. Howard said that Dave is so much better than Leno when it comes to stuff like that.
Howard said that this guy Rod Blagojevich sounds like a complete 'tard when you hear him talking. Howard said he reminds him of someone he knows who is dumb and doesn't know it. Howard said that person isn't in the studio though.
Howard played more of the clip where Dave was talking about all of the people in Illinois who have been convicted of crimes. He asked Rod if that's part of the oath of office. Rod said that he thinks that he'll be vindicated and did nothing wrong. The audience laughed at that. Howard said that he's nuts to go on Letterman. Howard said that's not the place to go when you're trying to get out of something like that.
Fred said that the guy seems to think that he can charm his way out of this. Howard said he had some more clips to play. He played one where Dave was talking to Rod about all of these shows that he was appearing on and it seemed to be every show in production currently. Dave said that he felt that he was guilty after seeing him on those shows. Rod told Dave that he can't just sit back while these people are talking about him and saying stuff that's not true.
Howard said that the guy is right about one thing. He said that if people were lying about him and something that he didn't do, he'd get up and start yelling too. He said that you can't just sit back and take it if it's not true. Robin said the problem is that they have tapes of the guy doing what they're accusing him of doing.
Howard had to explain to Artie what this guy Blagojevich is accused of doing. He was accused of trying to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat instead of just appointing someone to take the seat. Howard said that he hasn't heard the guy saying that he wanted money for himself but he doesn't know what else they may have on those tapes.
Howard played more of the Letterman interview where Dave was talking to Rod about what's going on with him. Dave was goofing on the guy and the audience was laughing. Rod didn't think that what he was saying was even that funny but the audience was laughing anyway. Rod said that he is going to clear his name and he wants the people to give him a chance to prove that he's innocent.
Howard played another clip where Dave goofed on Rod's hair asking him if he uses a shampoo and conditioner. Howard said that he heard that the case against this guy is actually weak. He said that maybe the guy has a point there. Howard said that if he is being railroaded the guy is still going to be a joke to the public.
Artie said that Rod should be avoiding funny guys like Letterman and Howard. He should be going on Larry King or shows like that. Fred said that the guy never says how he's being railroaded.
Howard read some mail about the blacks in Roosevelt, Long Island. Howard had said that they were the worst out there but some of the fans disagree with him on that. One guy told Howard that he should stop saying that it's the toughest place on the planet when it's not even close. Howard said that it was a 1 square mile area and he's not comparing it to huge cities. The guy said that the area never even makes it to the most dangerous places to live lists. The guy claimed that it's listed as a middle class suburb. Gary asked where it's been listed as that because he finds that hard to believe.
Howard said that JD got some negative e-mail. He read some of that about JD getting angry at that woman Susie who called in. The woman liked him and he gets angry at her for calling in. The fans thought that JD should stop disparaging her on the air for no apparent reason. The writer said that JD getting laid once a year doesn't make him a big stud.
Artie said that JD has grown up seeing hot chicks all over the place and he's going to think that he should hold out for one of those hot chicks. Howard said that JD is just belligerent toward this woman and that's what the fans are complaining about.
JD came in and said that the woman keeps contacting the show. Howard said that she just e-mailed them to show that she wasn't a pig because JD was making it seem like she was. Howard said that she turned out not to be a pig so it was good that she contacted them. Howard said that she wasn't trying to take advantage of JD and he's making it seem like she was.
JD said that he's not trying to get a really hot chick, he just likes who he likes. He said he can't help it if he's not into someone. JD said he thought he was being nice to that woman when he met her in person. Artie said that he doubts that. He said that JD acts like fuckin' Elvis when he's carrying the camera around back stage at the shows. Artie said that you have to set up pussy in each city and just get laid everywhere that they go.
Howard said that JD could have had this chick in Florida to bang him but he's blown that. JD said that he's not interested in her.
Mike Gange came in and said that JD is into this chick in Hustler magazine. That's the kind of chick that JD thinks he's going to be getting. Howard said that JD would like that. Artie said that is the kind of chick that JD wants to get and that's ruining society.
Artie told Howard that Ronnie is in that Hustler magazine. He told him to turn to page 28 to see it. Howard wasn't able to find the page. He said that it looked like someone ripped the picture out of there. Mike Gange came back in and had the ripped out page.
Howard said it was Jesse Jayne and Ronnie in the picture at the E.D. (Exotic Dancer) Awards. Howard read the blurb and laughed when he read it. Ronnie came in a short time later and said that he didn't rip the page out. He said that he did autograph some of that stuff. He said that Steve Brandano asked him to do that. The magazine was from back in August.
Ronnie said that Jesse Jayne is married so that's kind of unfortunate. He said that the dude is very tall but he was there and very nice to him.
Howard said that the snow and ice was so bad yesterday that Ronnie took forever to get home. Ronnie said that the traffic was bad because people don't know how to drive in that stuff.
Howard read some mail about their Facebook discussions. Howard said that they were saying that this stuff is for 15 year old girls. Howard said he knows what the guy is saying and he's right that it's for people who just want to get laid.
Howard read some mail about the way he's ripping Gary and Robin apart on the show lately. Howard said that people are sensing more anger in him than usual. Howard said that the fans think that it's getting old and annoying that he's continuing to go off on Gary and Robin.
Artie mentioned that some of that stuff has been discussed on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said that he hates that Wrap Up Show because he has to listen to Gary psycho analyzing him. Howard started to do his impression of Gary by smacking his teeth and doing an impression of him talking about him.
Howard said that he was checking out some hot chicks on there. Artie said that even with that he doesn't think he could ever bring himself to go on that site.
Howard read through some more mail about his misery. Howard said that things are going very well in his life actually but that misery comes out sometimes. He said that he gets into miserable moods once in a while and then he goes to the shrink and the guy makes him think about that.
Howard said he got into an argument with the shrink yesterday. Howard said he told the guy that he wants him to feel something but he just doesn't feel it. Howard said that he was feeding him bullshit and it wasn't making any sense to him so he called him out on that. Howard said that the guy wants him to feel something but he can't feel it if he doesn't feel it.
Artie told Howard to just do it the way Robin did and claim that he's cured and just leave. Howard said he was thinking about doing that actually.
Howard said that for two days he's been analyzing the same dream. Howard said the guy leads him down a path and that's what they spend time on. Robin asked if he's gotten a time line for getting out of therapy. Howard said that there's no end in sight as far as he knows.
Robin asked Howard if he could maintain his progress if he left therapy. Howard said he has some skills for that but not enough. He said that he might last a week if he got out of therapy. Howard said that the next day after going to therapy he's already forgetting about the stuff he learned in there.
Howard said that he's dependant on that guy. Howard said that he really just wants to sit in a room playing chess and banging Beth. Artie said that it sounds like Beth has a super life coming up.
Howard read that Heidi Cortez loves the show so much that she'd be willing to bang the staff. Sal came in with some audio of her talking about Gary's huge buck teeth and saying that she'd bang Gary just because he's on the Stern Show. Sal had one of her talking about how fat Artie is and goofing on him and then saying that she would fuck him just because he's on the Stern Show. Artie said he thought that was great and he'd love to have a copy of that.
Howard played another one about Fred where Heidi talked about his too-tight belly shirts and then saying that she'd fuck him. Fred said that he'd like to ask his wife for a week off from the marriage to test this out to see if he can bang her.
KC said that he has a service that will give people lawyers on retainer and you can have a will made up or have them help you out.
Howard asked KC if he put this together. KC said that he didn't do it, someone else helped him out with it. KC said that this is a ''legal pyramid.''
Gary said that he was on KC's web site and he's really full of himself because the first thing you see is KC with his shirt off.
Howard said that KC looks like he's juiced up out of his mind. KC said that he's only taking testosterone. KC told him that he'd love this HGH stuff. Howard said that's human growth hormone. KC said that once you turn 30 years old you start losing some stuff and taking that keeps you going.
Howard asked KC if he just took a Viagra. KC laughed and said that he did. Howard said he has to take that because of the 'roids he's taking. KC said that it just raises the bar for you.
KC said that he think he's going to be rich from this thing he has going. Howard said that he can't wait to see the rich KC.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that pyramid schemes are illegal and they can't have things like that. KC said that this isn't illegal and they trade on NASDAQ. KC told Dominic that it's a ''legal pyramid.'' KC told Dominic to go to his site and find out more. Dominic told KC to describe it differently than he is.
Howard said that this is like having a pool of money for lawyers and it's not a pyramid scheme. Howard said that he needs to think about what he's saying before he says it on the air. Howard said that KC isn't a good spokesperson for this thing.
Howard said that KC bought into this franchise. He asked how much he had to pay. KC said that it cost him $299 and you get $138 for anyone who signs on under him. Howard thanked KC for calling in and let him go a short time later. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
Howard and the guys spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out what the song was about. Artie said that a lot of the songs remind him of his old man because of the lyrics. Howard said that the song is actually pretty good. Artie said that he'll buy the album, he does that every time. He liked the song too.
Howard said this guy in Pittsburgh sent them an e-mail and the guy has been putting up political signs. He mentioned one of the signs where the guy talks about the way Iraq sells barrels of oil to us for $128 and we sell bushels of grain for $7. He thinks that we should up the price of grain and they'll lower the price of oil. Howard seemed to think the guy had a good point there.
Howard said that after playing that Christian Bale audio clip yesterday, he got a bunch of e-mail from people who were defending him. Howard said that he thinks that Bale may have some kind of campaign going to help him get back at the guys who put it out. Howard read about the director of photography and why Bale got upset with him during that scene.
Howard said he got one e-mail about that guy and figured that was fine. Then he got another e-mail that was very well written. He said that it may have been too well written. He read through some of that letter and they were talking about how great Christian Bale is to work with.
One of the letters pointed out that Bale had gone over and apologized to that guy after yelling at him. Artie said that it can be very distracting to a guy when you're in the middle of a scene and someone is walking around during the scene. Howard played some of the audio of Bale yelling on the set of the Terminator movie.
Howard said he didn't think that Bale sounded British in that clip. Robin said that he's been in this country for a long time and the accent isn't that heavy. Howard said he thought that maybe he was in character and not coming out of it.
Artie said that he lost it in that clip but he's probably more justified than they think. Howard said that some guy has already made a techno song based on that audio clip. Howard played some of that. He said the guy might have a hit on his hands. Artie got a laugh out of the song as it was playing. He said he doesn't think that JD was into the techno song though. Howard said that this guy is on to something.
Howard got back to the raw audio and played through some more of that. He said he does sound like a dick and acting isn't that tough. Howard said he could have quietly asked the guy not to be in his eye line. Artie said that's what you do the first time. Artie was defending the guy and saying that it can be really distracting.
Robin said that Howard has yelled at Gary like that in meetings and stuff. Howard said that his job is much more high pressure than Christian Bale's is.
Fred played a clip of Howard doing a commercial read where he freaked out on the people who wrote the copy for the commercial. Howard said that he was in defense of his audience in that clip because he didn't want to be in a commercial that didn't make any sense. Howard said that he was just ranting in that clip.
Howard played a phony phone call that Sal and Richard made to a guy where they told him that they were getting calls from his number. They used clips of Howard asking how the joke was funny to goof on the guy.
Robin said that there must be some place on the internet where they have Howard saying stuff. She said that she got a voice message where everything was Howard saying stuff and the people were laughing under it. She said that it was someone who found the clips on the internet but also knows her.
Howard mentioned that they got some e-mail about Lisa that was kind of negative. Lisa said ''what else is new?'' Howard read the e-mail which was about her pubic hair. Howard said the guy said that she's a complete wack-a-do and wondered if her carpet matches the drapes. The guy said that maybe Artie can check it out and let them know.
Lisa said that's disgusting. Artie asked her if she shaves down there. Lisa asked Artie if he does. Artie said that they just discussed that.
Lisa got to her news preview and said that she spoke to James Hester about invading Robin's privacy. He gave her a ''no comment'' on that. Lisa said that he told her that he didn't do interviews and he wasn't going to comment on that because Dr. Roni is the one who does the interviews.
Lisa said that she spoke to a colon therapist who said that she thinks that Robin may have helped raise the number of colonics they've been doing at her clinic. Robin may have single handedly raised awareness of colonics.
Lisa said that Lisa Lampanelli's HBO special got the second highest ratings for an HBO special in over a year. Howard said that he was in the middle of the special in some cartoon that he saw.
Howard said that Big Foot is always trying to come up with some way to sue people. Big Foot said that he'd rather go to jail before he'd pay someone $100 for something. Big Foot ended up yelling about that but it wasn't clear what he was talking about.
Big Foot said that he has stomach pains and diarrhea and headaches and he's all bound up. Howard asked how he's going to turn that into a lawsuit. Big Foot said that he got sick on peanut butter as well. Big Foot said that he doesn't have a lawyer.
Howard and Artie told Big Foot told him to go to KC's web site to get a lawyer. Howard said it sounds like Big Foot has a whopper of a case there. Howard asked if he's been drinking alcohol a lot. Big Foot said that he's been drinking ginger ale instead because of this gastritis problem he's got.
Howard said that the gastritis thing could be caused by drinking too much. Big Foot said that he doesn't drink that much alcohol, just the ginger ale. Artie said that he needs the sweet release of death to come soon. He said that Big Foot sounds like he's miserable.
Howard asked Big Foot if he shits outside. Artie said that's what he said the last time he called in. Big Foot asked what he's ''apposed'' to do up there and if Howard had any ''aggestions'' for him. Howard tried to talk to him but Big Foot was so out of control that he wasn't even listening to anything they said.
Howard said he had a lawyer on the phone to help him out. It turned out to be clips of Leon Spinks mumbling some unintelligible stuff. Big Foot said that he sounded drunk and he should call him back when he sobers up.
Howard took a call from ''Vermont'' (Richard) who was telling Big Foot that he was the whole state. Big Foot said that it sounded like it was Vermont. Richard told Big Foot that he was going to sue him for shitting in him. Howard cut Richard off and asked Big Foot how he pays for his hotel room. Big Foot said the state pays for that.
Howard asked Big Foot if he's getting laid. Big Foot said that he does get laid once in a while. He said he has women coming through his room like Grand Central Station.
Howard said that he had a nurse on the phone who claims that she treated him at the hospital and she didn't like what she was hearing. That turned out to be some Lily Tomlin audio clips that the guys in the back were playing.
Artie said that he feels bad for Big Foot because he does seme to be a lost soul. Big Foot said that he hopes he can get out of this world soon. Artie told him to move down to Florida since he's complaining about the cold up there. Artie asked Big Foot if he skis. Big Foot said that he doesn't ski but his car is always skiing from one snow bank to another.
Howard asked Big Foot if he's on Facebook. Big Foot had no clue what he was talking about. Big Foot said that he has a neighbor who thinks that he runs the building he lives in but he brings beer and the cops let them get away with it. He wasn't making much sense.
Big Foot thanked them for his birthday surprise. Howard said ''you're welcome'' but Big Foot ended up calling him an asshole for not getting him anything. Howard said that guy is very angry and he seems to think that the whole world is against him.
Howard said the game is fairly easy and they just had to guess if Britney could answer these questions. The first one was ''How many planets are in our solar system?'' The caller said that she would not know the answer. She said ''9'' which was an acceptable answer.
The next question was ''What does CD stand for?'' The caller said that Britney would not know it. She said that it was ''cassette disc.''
The next question was ''Who is Hillary Clinton married to?'' The caller said that Britney would know it. He was right, Britney did know that it was Bill Clinton. The next question was ''What do you call a female deer?'' The caller said that Britney would not know the right answer. Britney said ''An antelope.'' The caller won the $500 because he had gotten 3 correct.
The caller said that when an actor is doing a character it's tougher shooting a scene than what Howard was doing in his movie. Howard said that when you're on the movie set it's a euphoric time and they feed you and there's not that much to be upset about when you're on a set.
Howard said that the hardest thing to do is to play yourself too. The caller agreed with him on that but Howard cut him off and put him on hold so he could get his 500 bucks.
Howard said that he had another 500 go give away so he could have another caller play. Gary said Will was telling him that Britney was in town last week to do some stuff or them and she told Will about doing this ''Facial Abuse'' thing. She told him that she gets punched in the face and stuff like that in the movies.
Howard took a call from John Boy who was going to play the next game. He was about to get into it but the Howard TV guys had some audio of Britney using the N-word. They played that clip and Britney was talking about her favorite words and mentioned the N-word as being one of them. The audience of ''Inside the Porn Actors Studio'' clapped when they heard that. She was saying that she uses the word quite a bit and giggled the whole time she was talking about it.
Howard said that she's sitting there naked in the clip and it was very odd looking. Howard said that the set looked pretty nice for that show too. Gary said that Sal was laughing every time she said the N-word in that clip. He was even applauding at one point.
Howard got back to the game and John Boy said that he's going to spend some of his winnings at Steven Singer's web site. Howard played the first question which was ''What sport is Wayne Gretzky known for playing?'' John Boy said that he thinks she will know it. He was right.
The next question was ''How many months in a year?'' John Boy said that sounds like an easy one and he thinks that she will know it. He was right. The next question was ''Name a country in Europe.'' John Boy said that he's going to say she'll know it. Britney said ''A country in Europe? I don't know.''
Next up was ''Who was Fred Flintstone's best friend?'' John Boy said that she won't know because it was before her time. Britney knew the right answer of ''Barney.''
Howard said that John Boy had one question left to win this game. He played the next question which was ''What was the Hindenberg?'' John Boy said that he doesn't think that she'll know it. Britney didn't know so John Boy won the 500 bucks.
Howard read through some of the Christmas cards he got. He said that they got cards from Ass Napkin Ed, George Lopez, Chevy Chase, Donald Trump, David and Courtney Arquette, Tony Bennett and Cheap Trick. Howard said he got a personal one from Jimmy Kimmel but there was nothing for the show from Jimmy.
Artie asked about Robert Goulet. Howard said they used to get cards from Robert but he died. Artie said that one of the best things he ever did was cover Vinnie Favale's ''Restless, Restless'' song. They had to go to break after that.
Howard said that the movie ''Frost Nixon'' was really good. He said he thought it was going to be a bummer but the movie really was good. Howard said that he never would have thought the movie would be good. Robin said she wants to see that.
Gary said that they had a guy portraying the guy Frank Gannon who used to work with Letterman. That guy was in love with Robin. Gary said that it was funny to see that. That led to them talking about Robin going out with the guy a couple of times. Gary said that he remembers seeing Robin out with Frank and Frank telling Robin that time had not diminished her beauty.
Howard asked Robin what happened there. Robin said that it was just a friendly thing. She said that she may have kissed him but it was probably just a good night kiss. Robin said that he was a very smart man and very nice. She said she loves smart men. Artie said that she liked Nick Manning so he must be really smart and deep.
Artie said that he'd probably have to go out on the road but he'd like to know what Jason and Benjy are going to be doing out there when the show ends. Artie said that they're all misfits and they're going to have a tough time when the show ends.
Artie asked what Ralph is going to do in 2 years. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard said that he can't retire because these guys won't have anything to do. Jason said that he knows that he'll have to lose weight and change the way he does things. Howard said that these guys might want to look a little more impressive so the management there sees that they're presentable.
Jason said that sometimes he thinks about getting into talk radio as a host. He said that he'd like to make a demo tape sometime and get into that. Artie said that about 6 years ago Jason and Will talked about writing a script. Jason said that ended up going nowhere.
Howard said he can't retire based on this discussion. Jason was talking about going back to law school or something. Howard said he might be too old to do that. He said that he has to do that quickly if he really wants to do that.
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Johnny said that he wanted the second movie to be really good, if you consider that crap ''good.'' Johnny said that they really went far with some of the stunts they did in that one.
Howard asked Johnny if he had to audition for movies after he did those Jackass movies. Johnny said that most guys will just offer him something now but there have been some auditions. Howard said he read that he's doing a movie with Cher. Johnny said that the script is very good and Howard said that he liked the idea for the movie. Howard said that Johnny is going to play a guy who lives with his parents too long and he moves out and takes up with this 60 year old neighbor instead.
Howard asked if Cher is in for this movie. Johnny said that they're trying to get the paperwork together for that. Howard said that she has to be able to stomach playing the older neighbor. Johnny said that he's heard that she wants to do it so it might work out.
Howard asked Johnny about his divorce and if he had a pre-nup. Johnny said that he didn't have one since he got married so young. Howard said that Johnny used to write to the show asking to be tazered on the show. That was before he did the Jackass stuff.
Johnny said that he's written Howard about a lot of stuff in the past including the tazer stuff and his cousin Roger Alan Wade. Howard said that his cousin was great with those songs that he did. Johnny said that he's been sober for a year now. Howard asked about Steve-O. Johnny said that he's been clean and sober ever since they put him in the rehab program.
Johnny said that Steve-O is the other side of drugs and booze now and his sponsor said that he's never seen someone do that well with the program.
Johnny said that Steve was going to a really dark place with the drugs. Howard asked him how he got him into rehab because he's working on his buddy Artie over there. Johnny said that you have to have some really big dudes in the room.
Johnny said that he was on an e-mail list and Steve was sending out a bunch of suicidal stuff in these video clips. He was doing cocaine, whip-its, PCP and some other hard core stuff. He was doing 600 vials of whip-its. He said that's pretty insane. Artie said that Stuttering John was doing the whip-its too when they'd go out and do comedy shows. He said that they'd get a bunch of cans of Redi-Whip and do them back stage.
Howard asked Johnny about getting Steve-O into rehab and found out that Steve was sending out all of this suicidal stuff and he figured they just had to go get him and put him into a program.
Howard heard that Johnny had ripped open his urethra. Johnny said that he was doing a motorcycle stunt where he flipped over a bike and he ended up letting go of it instead of holding on and the handlebar broke off next to his ass. He said that he was in pain and he felt like he was peeing himself. It turned out to be blood spraying out his penis every time his heart would beat. He said that he had internal bleeding from the crash.
Howard asked Johnny more about the Steve-O thing. Johnny said that Steve had wanted to jump a mini-motorcycle out his apartment window and across to the next building. He didn't care if he lived or died so they told Steve they were going to film him the next morning. They got a bunch of big guys together to go over there and get Steve out of there.
Johnny said they showed up and Steve had broken out his window to do this 4 foot jump to the next building and there were shards of glass all over the place. Johnny said they told Steve they were there to help him out and he didn't want to go. Johnny said that they had to tell him that they were taking him no matter what.
Johnny said that Steve didn't resist them too much. He said that Steve was so out of control that they had to do something to help him. He said that Steve is sober and it's like if you look at a compass north is facing south.
Howard wondered if Steve is going to leave the Jackass thing now that he's sober. Johnny said that he's never known Steve sober but he's hung out with him a few times and he's doing really good. Johnny said that Steve is very conscious of staying sober and staying away from anything that could screw up his sobriety.
Johnny said that Steve's father was all for them helping him out. Howard said he can't wait to see what the new Steve-O is going to be like.
Howard asked Johnny about his divorce and if the stories about him banging everyone was true. Johnny said that he was pretty much a train wreck himself. He said that he's in a much better place himself too. He said that he was just a train wreck but not that out of control on the booze. He said he still loves booze but that never ''drove him.''
Howard said that Johnny was going out with people even when he was married. Johnny said he wasn't proud of that. Howard said that it must have been tough for his wife to see him dating in the paper. Johnny said that there was a lot of rough times. He said that he's single now but he's been with someone now for a couple of years. He said that he's really happy with this girl and they hardly ever leave each other's side.
Howard asked Johnny what happened to his tattoo that he had on his finger for his first wife. Johnny said that he had it lasered off because it was a little weird to have it on there.
Howard asked Johnny who this girl is that he's dating. He said that she was working at HBO and she is kind of in the business. Howard said that she must be hot. Howard asked Johnny if he had any time to play the field. Johnny said that he played the field enough while he was married.
Howard said he heard that Johnny tried to hook up with Kate Moss. Johnny said he knew her but that was years ago. Howard asked if he ever nailed her. Johnny just laughed. Howard read that he had been with Lindsay Lohan too. Johnny said that wasn't true.
Howard said that maybe Johnny will get Cher when he works with her on this movie. Johnny said that she's going to hear this and not want to work on the film. Howard said that he likes the idea of that movie.
Howard said that Johnny is there to promote this ''Nitro Circus'' show that he's producing. Johnny said that it features Travis Pastrana, who helped him break his dick. Johnny said that he has to stick a tube into his dick twice a day because of that injury he got. He said that he has to do that to bore his cock out so the scar tissue doesn't build up. Howard sounded shocked by that.
Howard asked Johnny about how far in he has to shove this tube. Johnny said that it has to go in about 10 or 11 inches, until it goes into his bladder. Johnny said that he pours water on the catheter so it's lubed. He said that it hurt in the beginning and it's not so bad anymore. Johnny said he has to do that twice a day and just did it there this morning. Howard asked if he would do it there live for them. Johnny said that he did it for Travis and he made him watch it and then peed on him. He said that you can see that at JackassWorld.com. Johnny said that if the urethra gets any smaller he may have to have an operation on it again.
Howard asked Johnny about all of these injuries he's gotten and if he would go out and do another movie. Howard said that cathetering your own penis is crazy. Johnny said that it's been worth it so far and he knows that there are consequences for the stunts they do.
Johnny said that he had to have one of those bags hooked up to his penis so he could pee. He said that it was really bad if he woke up with an erection in the morning. Howard said that Johnny has so many issues, that must be why he's with just one woman. Johnny said that was only about a week and things work normally now. Johnny said that he doesn't show his girlfriend how he does the catheter thing. He said he wishes that he had brought one with him so he could do it there for them.
Howard said the Howard TV guys had video of the accident where Johnny injured his urethra. They watched that and saw that it was pretty painful looking. Johnny said that he had gotten hurt many times before but this really got his attention when he hurt his urethra.
Howard told Johnny about Artie's father being a quadriplegic and how awful that had to be. Johnny said he didn't know that and he had never really thought about that stuff. Artie said that he has never laughed as hard in a theater as he did with the Jackass movie. He said that it is funny shit but they could get hurt really bad. Artie said that they did a slow motion shot of Johnny hitting his head on the ground in the golf cart accident and it could have easily broken his neck.
Howard got in some plugs for the Nitro Circus show. He asked Johnny what it was about. Johnny told him that it's Travis Pastrana and his friends doing really crazy shit. He said that Travis jumps out of an airplane without a parachute and lets his friend catch him so they can parachute to the ground. Howard said that's some crazy stuff. He asked Johnny if he would do that. Johnny said that he would. Johnny said that he has never done that before but he'd be up for it. Howard asked how many episodes they have. Johnny said they have 12 and they're packed full of stuff. The show is premiering on February 8th on MTV.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Johnny has more of a connection to Kate Moss than he's admitting. He said that he was at her rehab visiting her. The guy said he was there too so he knows. Howard asked Johnny if that was true. Johnny said that he did visit her there. Howard asked if he got any pussy. Johnny just laughed and said that they can say anything on this show.
Howard said he thinks that he did get Kate Moss. Johnny said that he wasn't going to say anything like that. Howard said that she's a very sexy girl. He said that he can't say that he wasn't attracted to her. Howard figured that he just wasn't talking about this relationship. Johnny said that there just wasn't anything to talk about.
The caller was talking about the rehab he was in and said that he had a bunch of other stories to tell. Howard asked Johnny if he got a blow job from Kate in rehab. Johnny said ''absolutely not.'' Howard asked Johnny if he banged Jessica Simpson on the set of the Dukes of Hazzard. Johnny said that wasn't him.
Howard said that Jessica has gotten fat lately and told Johnny about that. Artie said that she went from Daisy Duke to Boss Hogg. Robin said that she didn't get that much bigger. She guessed that she was maybe 135 or 140 pounds. Artie said he likes that Tony Romo is banging a fat chick now. Howard said that she has gotten kind of big and she's wearing big ''mom jeans.''
Howard said he's going to have to tune in for this new show. He took a call from a guy who said that Travis Pastrana is a crazy motherfucker and they have to have him on the show. Johnny said that Travis is crazy and he thinks that there's nothing that he can't do. Johnny said that he's like 25 or 26 years old and he thinks he can do anything. Johnny said that the guy is a world class athlete and he's very trained in what he does. Johnny said that he's very much unlike him.
Howard asked Johnny about this guy Novak that came in not too long ago. Johnny said that he knows him so Howard told him about the ass licking that Novak did. Howard asked him if he ever thought about putting him into some of the Jackass stuff. Johnny said that he was in Jackass 2 for a split second.
The caller asked Johnny about the kid in the movie ''199 Lives'' who was paralyzed and if the kid sued Travis. Johnny didn't know anything about that.
Howard asked if they will show Travis dying if he dies during the shooting of Nitro Circus. Johnny said that he didn't even want to think about that. Howard started to wrap up with him a short time later. Johnny said that he will send them some footage of him doing the catheter thing.
Johnny said that he and his cousin Roger Alan Wade have a show there that airs on Saturday nights at 8pm. He said that they just bullshit and play music on the show. Howard said that he'll have to tune in for that. It's on the Outlaw Country channel. Johnny said he thinks that's channel 12.
Howard asked about the grenade incident that he had at an airport. Johnny said that he had brought this grenade with him and forgot that he had it in his bag. He said that he has props in his bag and one of them was the grenade. Johnny said that someone else had packed his bags and he didn't know that it was in there. Johnny said that they found it in his suitcase. He said that there were four cops looking at the screen when his bag went through and realized that they were seeing this grenade in there. Johnny said that it was a fake one and he was doing this commercial. Luckily they didn't push a button on him. They did have to call the dogs out to sniff it though. He said he felt really stupid. Johnny said that it had to be a grenade of all things. He said that they took the grenade and let him fly. He said that they knew who he was so they let him go. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Angie Everhart is having a baby. Howard said that he hasn't spoken to her in years. He said that they don't even say who the dad is. Howard read that she's keeping details of the father a secret according to the article he was reading. Howard said that she was dating Joe Pesci for a short time. Now she's talking about turning this pregnancy into a reality show. Howard said he wouldn't want to see that. Robin didn't seem to think it was a good idea either. Howard said that thinking of Angie pregnant ruins everything.
Howard said that he and Angie only went out a short time. He said that she was a girlfriend but he's not sure how he feels about this. He said that if she's happy then he's happy for her. He said he doesn't want to think about her body blowing up and getting fat.
Artie asked Howard how many chicks more famous than Angie did he date. Howard said that there were maybe two people. Howard said there was a 9 month span where he dated a lot and none of them were really serious relationships.
Howard said that he was on a tear making up for lost time and that wasn't the right thing to do. Howard said he'd like to think he's better than that. He wasn't at the time. He said that some of the women he dated were really nice people and it's wrong to jerk them around when you're just out on a tear.
Howard had Eric on the phone so he asked him about that. Eric said that Johnny hasn't bought the 200 tickets yet. Howard said that if Johnny buys them, what is he going to do with them? That's just Johnny bailing him out.
Steve said that Johnny told them that he's not buying any tickets. Howard asked Eric how he gets that so wrong. Eric said that he doesn't have it wrong. He said that Johnny told him that he would consider it. Eric said that the team isn't that good and if they were better than maybe people would buy tickets. Eric said that he would like to do it at a Lakers game or something so maybe people would buy tickets.
Gary said that there's audio of Johnny and Eric talking about these tickets at 2:30 in the morning. Johnny was talking to Eric telling him not to wake him up at 2:30 in the morning again or he'll get a screwdriver and take him apart. Johnny's baby was crying in the background as he was talking to Eric.
Howard said that Eric can't be for real with that. Eric said that he's never had a problem calling Johnny at that time of night. Howard said that after 10 at night is rude, 2:30 in the morning is really fucked up. Howard said that Eric is a baby and he shouldn't be calling a guy at that time of the morning. Robin said that he doesn't need him to buy them that early in the morning.
Eric said that he doesn't want this to be another thing where no one shows up. Robin laughed and said that it's too late. Howard said he heard that Eric's forehead was huge this morning. He was shocked when they put the video from JFSC.tv up on his monitor. Howard told him that he can't comb his hair back that severely. He also noticed that he's got a fresh coat of hair color on there.
Howard said that the color was almost clown red. Eric called Howard a jackass for making fun of the color. Howard said that it's just not a natural looking color.
Howard made fun of the color of the air and Eric claimed it was the same color as it was when he was a kid. Howard said he was worried about the stuff on his forehead because it was so red and blotchy. Artie said that it looked like he had walked into a freshly painted stop sign.
Robin told Eric that having Johnny buy up all of the tickets doesn't do anything for him. He said that it's just going to be more embarrassing if he has him do that.
Steve told Eric that they have a good source telling him that the guy who bought the two tickets wants his money back. Eric said he finds that hard to believe.
Howard asked why the guy wants his money back. Steve didn't have an answer on that. Steve said they'll have to look into that. Howard said that the guy would get a lot of time with Eric if he was the only one who showed up.
Howard and the guys continued to goof on Eric for a couple more minutes. Howard let him go a short time later and got back to Steve. Eric also got in a plug for his ''store'' at JFSC.tv/ETA
Steve had a few more stories and ran through that stuff. He said they had a story about the air base over in Kyrgyzstan that Artie and Gary had flown through. The Russians want more money to let them keep using it. Steve said that they have a story about the Geo Group's prisons and how they don't have enough medical care for their prisoners down in Texas so there was a riot at one of the prisons.
Howard ended up asking Jon what he's going to do when they end the show. Jon said that he might get into teaching pop culture or something. Jon said that he'd either do that or stay in the radio industry. Howard said he'd get upset if his kids studied pop culture. Howard asked what he would teach people. Jon said that it would be about TV shows and how they affected society. Jon said that it's just an excuse to talk about TV shows.
Howard tried to find out what Jon would teach people about and asked if he would talk about ''Green Acres'' and shows like that. Jon said that he could cover that show but it wouldn't be a whole college credit. Howard, Artie and Fred all goofed around with that idea for a few minutes.
Howard said that he's not sure that it could be a whole course. Artie said he's impressed with Jon's knowledge of TV shows and also knows about sports. Howard said it sounds like ''Professor Hein'' doesn't have a good game plan for when the show ends. He may have to keep the show going if that's the plan for these guys.
Howard asked Steve Brandano what he's going to do when he retires. Steve said he'll just be Jon's T.A. Howard said that he's not going to be able to leave radio in 2 years.
Steve ran down the stuff they were going to be doing on the Intern Show tonight. Steve said they'll be talking to the interns about all of this Facebook stuff that they've been talking about on the show tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Howard had Robin get to her news. She started off with a story about Barry Bonds old urine being tested and found to have steroids in it. Artie said that he's actually purchased urine. He said that he did that the day after he made the stupid promise to Howard to take a drug test. He said he had to throw it out after hiding it behind a bunch of bottles of booze.
Howard said that he knows that Artie was going to fail the test and told Artie he didn't have to take it. Artie said he paid 500 bucks for the urine. The kid is trying to get on the fire department and he was clean after 6 months. Artie said it was gross. He said that he had the kid come over to his place and he pissed in a bottle and then he transferred it to another bottle and hid it in behind some whisky bottles.
Howard asked Artie why he would insist on taking a drug test and then go out and buy clean urine. Howard said that there's no way that he would ever be able to test clean. Artie said that he would. Howard said that you have to want to be clean and Artie has no reason to want to be clean.
Gary said that he wants to pull the tape of Artie being insulted and indignant when he said he wanted to watch Artie pee for the urine test. Artie said that he actually carried the urine bottle with him to work just in case they did the test. Gary said that Artie is officially the funniest person he's ever met.
Artie said that he was very worried that certain things were going to show up in the test. Gary said that it's stuff he takes though. Artie said that you can see specific stuff in those tests and he should have specified that it was heroin that he hasn't done since December 21st.
Artie said he wants to keep his job there so that's why he was going through all of that. Howard said that's insane. Artie said that the urine got really dark as the days went on and it didn't even look like fresh urine.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the Barry Bonds thing. The urine that was tested was from 2004. Howard told Artie he's in a really dark place. Artie said that he is but he's staying away from the hard stuff. Artie said that he hasn't even had a drink lately. Howard said that's not true, he doesn't believe that.
Robin read a story about the Super Bowl ratings and they're now saying that it was the most watched game in history. She said that last year's game was the second most watched game in history and this year's was the most watched.
Robin read a story about a pilot who garbled his words as they were flying from Moscow to New York. The guy freaked the passengers out and they revolted against him because he sounded drunk to them. They had to switch pilots out before they took off.
Robin read a story about some guys who ate a young girl's body parts after killing her. Robin said that was over in Russia.
Robin read a story about Michael Phelps possibly being charged with smoking pot after seeing the picture of him smoking a bong. Howard said they have to get off of that already. Even his sponsors are saying that it's not that big of a deal.
Robin read a story about Myspace kicking off 90,000 sex offenders from their site. Robin said that they're basically saying that the sites are rife with sex offenders. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about that. Howard said that everyone knows that it's a problem but that problem is everywhere.
Artie asked Robin and Howard to guess how much he bought the piss for. Howard told him that he had just said it was $500. Artie didn't even remember saying it.
Howard said that he bets that it's illegal to sell your urine. Artie said that the guy didn't know what he was going to do with it. Robin said that it might be illegal to buy it since he's going to use it to get through a drug test.
Robin read a story about a kidney being removed through a woman's vagina. That way it doesn't leave a scar. Howard said that he'll have to do it that way when he donates his kidney. Robin read about the kidney and how it was removed so they wouldn't have to cut open her stomach. Howard jokingly said he went out with a girl who had a wisdom tooth removed through her vagina.
Robin had some of David Letterman's Top 10 List from last night where they went over the Michael Phelps thing. Howard didn't get one of the jokes at first. Robin had to explain it to him.
Robin read a story about cloned dogs and how they're cloning sniffer dogs before they're doing the cloning for regular dogs. Howard played some Evil Dave reading a top 10 list that was just gibberish. They had to go to break after that.
After the break, around 10:20am, Howard had Robin get right back to her news. Robin read some more stuff about David Letterman's show. She talked about Governor Rod Blagojevich's appearance on the show. Robin also read about Bernie Madoff and how there's an investigation into why the feds didn't step in sooner.
Howard took a call from a guy who has called in before with a really bad stutter. Howard asked him to rush through his point since he was kind of dragging it out. The guy said that a relative has been told to watch out for kids using tampons soaked in vodka to get drunk. The boys shove them in their ass to get drunk while the girls put them in their vagina. Howard said that they have to have that guy on the show. Robin said that they did and he didn't stutter in the studio. Howard said that's right and they have to keep him on the phone.
Robin read some Barack Obama news and said that a couple of his picks for his administration had to back out after getting busted for tax evasion. Obama admitted that his picks were wrong. Howard and the guys were still making fun of the stuttering caller and doing impressions of his very unusual stutter where he goes really high pitched as he's ending a sentence.
Robin read a story about Macy's laying off 7,000 workers but giving $139 million in management bonuses. Robin read another story about a survey done about college education and how important that is to being successful. Artie said that he's very successful and didn't go to college.
Howard said he knows a lot of people who went on to run successful businesses without a college education. Howard said that now they teach you about ''Green Acres'' in college. Howard said that there are a lot of trades out there that you can do fine in. He said that he would still recommend college because it can get you in the door.
Howard said that if you're going to be a coat check person, they'll still give the college educated person the first shot. Howard said that his college education was good for him. He said that he needed time to mature and that's what it gave him. He said you really don't ''need'' it but it can help.
Artie said that if he had started doing coke in college, it would have been a lot less crazy outside. Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that a college degree isn't necessary. Howard said that Jeff has his own home and lots of free time. He said that he lives a great life and has cigarettes, booze and pot. Jeff said he has ribs (Carson's Ribs) too.
Robin read a story about Bobby Brown having another child. Howard said he's saddened to hear that. He said that Bobby really needs to think about his own life before having another kid.
Robin said that Joe Francis is out of jail on bail but he's on house arrest. Howard said that this guy has a lot of problems. Robin said that Joe is supposed to be under house arrest until February 11th. Howard said he was just reading Girls Gone Wild magazine the other day.
Robin said that they're still fighting over the Minnesota senate seat. Al Franken still isn't the official winner. Howard said that it's unbelievable that they can't tell them who the winner is.
Robin said that this year's flu strain is immune to Tamaflu. Howard said that they should be on that vote for the Minnesota thing 24/7 until they figure that out. Robin continued to read the story about the flu and Fred threw in Henry Hill's disgusting cough that they caught the last time he was on the show.
Robin read a story about Jessica Simpson and a movie she was in that was just released on DVD (Private Valentine). The movie only made $1,300 when it was out in a limited release in theaters. Artie laughed at that and said that he should be proud of ''Beer League'' after hearing that.
Robin said that Denny's did a huge give away with their Grand Slam breakfast and they gave over 2 million of the breakfast meals. Howard said he loves pancakes.
Robin had some news about the American Idol episode that was on last night. She had some audio from the show where people got upset about being kicked off. Howard watched the show and said he felt bad for one of the guys they kicked off. They spent a few minutes talking about that episode and Artie told Howard that it sounds like he has a good Facebook conversation for later.
Robin read some news about the Pittsburgh parade for the Steelers. She had some audio of the team talking to the fans who were out there for them.
Howard said that he likes that Jon Hein was inventing a job for himself that's ridiculous. Howard ended up goofing on Jon about that professor of TV trivia. Howard said he'd like that job too. Howard said that he could tell the students to just watch American Idol so they could discuss it the next day. Howard said he'd like to be a professor of banging hot college chicks. There wouldn't be any better job than that.
Robin read that the musical guest on Saturday Night Live this week is The Jonas Brothers. She said that the show must have Jumped the Shark a long time ago. Alec Baldwin is hosting the show. Robin had some audio of The Jonas Brothers that she had Howard play. Howard said that sounded pretty gay to him.
Robin read a story about a law in Florida that's aimed at making it harder for couples with kids to separate. Fred was throwing in a bunch of goofy sound effects while Howard was goofing on Jon Hein's made up job. He had Crackhead Bob saying ''dippisippi'' that he played a bunch of times.
Robin read a story about some Bruce Springsteen fans who were upset when they had problems buying their tickets when they went on sale.
Robin read a story about Dakota Fanning doing a voice for an animated movie. Howard asked why he's not the voice of a cartoon character. Fred played Bubba the Love Sponge saying ''it's bullshit'' as soon as he said that. Fred was still playing goofy sound clips from the earlier discussion.
Robin said that they're investigating the woman who had octuplets recently. They're wondering if it was an ethical thing for her to do. Robin ended her news and Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
Gary said that Johnny has always been very alert and never drunk when he came in. Steve-O was always the one who was drunk when he cam on the show.
Gary said that Johnny appears to be able to act too. He said he heard that ''The Ringer'' is a really good movie but he hasn't seen it himself.
Jon asked about the Steve-O thing and if it sounded like it was tough to get him into rehab. Gary said it sounds like it was easier than getting Artie in there. Gary said that it sounded like they had Steve committed and not just sent to rehab. Benjy wondered if they have the same thing there in New York that they could put Artie into. Benjy said that maybe they should just try it.
Gary talked about the e-mail list that Steve-O was sending out and how he was getting nuttier and nuttier. Gary said that it was getting to the point where he thought that the guy was just a really fucked up person.
Jon said that he thought the discussion about Johnny's urethra was really wild. Will came in and said that it really sucks that it happened after he survived the two Jackass movies. He said that it's going to catch up to him eventually though.
Jon played a clip from the show where Johnny talked about being a train wreck himself. After that clip Jon said that it sounded like Johnny did have some regret about what he did while he was married. Gary said that he's seen other married celebrities out with hot chicks like that.
Jon said that Johnny is very forthcoming with some stuff but he wasn't very forthcoming with other stuff. Benjy wondered about the Kate Moss thing and if Johnny actually did something with her. Gary said that it could just be that he's trying to make people think that they're just really good friends. Will said he thinks that Johnny banged her.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what they think about the Jackass guys and the stunts they do. Gary said he loves watching that stuff. He said that Jackass was a really funny movie and it was well done. The caller goofed on Gary's love of the Mets as he was hanging up.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that there's any stunt that Johnny wouldn't do. Gary said he's not sure there's anything that he wouldn't do. He said that they should have asked Johnny what stunts he has turned down.
Will said that Johnny is a great guy and he thinks that they do it for the fun and not so much for the attention. He coughed Richard and Sal's names out when he mentioned the doing-it-for-attention thing.
Will said that you can't take him at his word anymore. Benjy said that the stuff he usually lies about is to protect his image. Gary said that he didn't protect his image by telling the rolling Stone chick that he was going to lie about going out jogging. Benjy said that he thinks that Artie was telling the truth about the urine.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thought Johnny sounded like he had a stroke or something with his strange speech patter. Gary said that he didn't hear anything different and he sounded the same as always to him.
Another caller said that he's glad that Howard was thinking that he might sign on to do more time there based on the plans that the crew has. Gary said that it won't matter until Howard actually signs a contract. He said that Howard has to do what makes him happy and he may not sign on to do more time there. Gary said that he's not sure that Howard would go on longer to keep people employed unless he really wants to keep the show going.
Jon said that Jason has been taking some hits this week and took some more today. Will said that he thinks that Howard just likes him and he's paying more attention to him lately.
Jason came in a short time later. He said that he's so fat lately that he's always in Howard's eyesight. He figured that Howard is just seeing him more and that's why he's paying so much attention to him.
Jon said that Howard did seem concerned about what he's going to do if the show ends. Jason said that he's actually thought about it a lot lately and what he's going to do if Howard doesn't sign. He said that the odds are probably 50/50 right now and he has to think about what he's going to do.
Gary said that he's started looking into some stuff and he's been meeting with people in the industry trying to find out what his future might be. Gary said that he may talk about that on the show tomorrow. Gary said that he's just picking people's brains at this point.
A woman called in and said that she thought that Johnny sounded like John the Stutterer today. Gary said he didn't think it was any different than it was in the past. The woman said that he sounds different than he did years ago. Gary said that he doesn't know why his voice would be different from taking drugs. The woman said it wasn't his voice, it was his speech. The guys said that they'd have to listen back to that.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Jon about Howard goofing on him today. Jon said that he put himself in that position today and he had to just sit back and take it. Gary said that he heard Jon yelling at the radio while Howard was goofing on him. Jon said that he had to tell Howard that the job really does exist when he came out of the studio after the show.
Jon said that he'd have to get a masters degree before he could go into that field. The guys told him that he could probably do it before getting a masters though. Benjy said that there are no rules for it and he could do it based on his experience.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jason was saying that his wife may have gotten fat. Jason stopped the guy and said he never said that she was getting fat. Jason said that she's not getting fat and he'd never say such a thing. The caller figured that he had gotten into trouble but Jason said she doesn't even hear SIRIUS at home so he didn't get into any trouble.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that there is no law on who can teach a class. It's up to the school to decide on who can teach a class. Benjy said that he was right and went off on Will about arguing with him.
Gary said that both of them are right. Benjy was freaking out on Will about it and Will tried to remain calm. Benjy was screaming at him about this ridiculous subject.
Jon asked Gary about Howard being worried about the staff there. Gary said that they must have over 50 people working for the show how with the TV crew and the tapes team included. Gary said that would be 60 or 70 people out of work if Howard called it quits tomorrow.
Jason said that Howard really cares about his staff there and he has a heart and a soul. Gary wondered if he cares enough to not do what he wants to do. He said he can't imagine Howard signing on for another 3 years just to keep people employed.
Jason was asked about the comments Howard has made about him not having kids. Jason said he gets why Howard was saying that because he really needs to take better care of himself. He said that he should want to live long so he can be around for the kids. Gary said that guys tend to gain weight when their wife is pregnant so Jason might gain weight.
Jason said that he's also afraid of having ugly kids. Jason said that he was at a family gathering and said that some of the kids aren't athletic and they're not that attractive so he's not sure he wants to bring an ugly kid into the world. Jason said that he doesn't want to get involved and give birth to a kid that looks like him, acts like him and all of that. Jason said that he just doesn't want to do that to a kid.
Gary said that Jason did the right thing marrying a good looking girl. Jason said that he's seen the rest of her family. He said he doesn't want to give his kids body hair like he has. He just doesn't want to do that to a kid. Jason said he wouldn't have answers for his kids either if they asked him about getting girls and things like that.
Ralph called in and said that in general you don't want to hire fat people because they tend to be out of control and self destructive. He said that Jason would be in that group. Jon asked Ralph if he wouldn't hire someone based on their weight. Ralph said that he would hire Jason but that's because he already knows him. He said that he's a good worker and he knows that.
Jason said that he always finds himself in the position of defending Ralph but he's right about him needing to go out and lose weight just in case he has to go out looking for a job. Jason said he doesn't want to be fat and looking for a job.
Ralph said that when you see a fat person come in for an interview you just think that they're not going to be with it enough to do the job.
Benjy asked Jon if he would take the person in shape person. Jon said that he would look at their qualifications over their weight. Ralph said that he's talking about the really overweight people like Artie and Jason.
Gary said that he sees some really insanely obese people that are like 400-500 pounds. He said that Jason isn't that bad and he doesn't think that he's incapable of doing the job.
Ralph also said that he doesn't think that they can trust anything Artie says anymore. He said that Artie is trying to be interesting and he might be making up those stories. He said that no one really cares about some of the stuff he's talking about.
Jason asked if he thinks that he's lying about the urine. Ralph said that's what he's referring to but he doesn't know that it's a fake story. Jon said that it's to the point that they just don't know what to believe. Ralph said he stopped believing a couple of years ago.
Ralph said that when you run around buying piss, that's really sad. He said that Artie is hitting bottom if he's going around doing that. Gary said that Artie is skeeved by a lot of stuff and he was talking about hiding a bottle of urine in his apartment. He thought that was kind of odd.
Ralph said that he'll sell Artie some loads of piss if he wants them. Will said that no one wants his dirty piss. That led to the two of them talking about the bet they had with each other on the Super Bowl. Ralph won the bet and Will said he can't believe he was scammed in that bed by Ralph. They had to go to break a short time later.
Will said that KC makes him laugh every time he calls in with that stuff. Gary said that they got a tape of KC from his college radio station and they liked what they heard. KC had the Singing Psychic on and when they had her on, it wasn't so good so the had to have KC yelling at her to make it as good as his college radio show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves when they fuck with Gary on the show. The guy also brought up that stuttering guy Sean that they had on during the news. Will said that the guy is very funny sometimes but there are other times when it just doesn't work. He said that the guy is a normal guy with a funny voice and it doesn't always work on the radio.
Jon took another call from a guy who wondered why they don't bet on the Britney Stevens game when they're playing it with the fans. Gary said that it used to be great when they did that but he's not sure why Howard doesn't do it anymore.
The caller was also saying that on the west coast feed they don't let you know when the breaks are so when he forwards through it in his radio it doesn't skip past the commercials. Jason said he thinks that when the show is life, they update the PDT live and they can't do that in the west coast replay. Jason said that they can't do that for the replay so that's why it doesn't work.
The guys talked about Robin's weight loss and how some details of her visit to the spa ended up in the paper this morning. Gary said that he thinks that Robin thinks that they changed her life so she's willing to forgive them when something like that goes on.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what it was that Big Foot did that got that nurse to talk badly about him. The guy didn't seem to know that it was a fake call. The guys ended up talking about Big Foot's call today. Will said that he will go nuts a lot and today they just happened to be able to catch him on hold for a few minutes so Howard could talk to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he would like them to come out to California to do the show. The guys liked that idea and told the guy to set them up with a studio there. Gary said that they've thought about moving the show to other places but they never do end up going.
Benjy asked why they can't do the show a little later in the morning and maybe hit even more of an audience. Gary said that the most listened to time of the morning is 7:20 in the morning so that's why radio guys always do contests at that time. Gary said that they found that the show is even bigger for them at 8 o'clock so they've found that it's when people are going to work is when they're listening. Gary said that they really need to rethink that and maybe change the time. Benjy said that he thinks if they started a half hour later that everyone would be happier.
Jason said that the only good thing about getting there as early as they do is that they avoid traffic. If they start moving the show time, they're going to get caught up in traffic.
The caller was also talking about how Artie may have lied to Ralph about the room at the Borgata that Ralph mentioned the other day. Gary said that Ralph should have learned a lesson from that and maybe he should stop hammering him about that.
Ralph was back on the phone and said that he's been hammered about some stuff by Artie so the fact that he's hammering Artie about something is ridiculous. Ralph said that he asked Will to pay Artie some money that he owed him for a bet and Artie is still goofing on him about that to this day. Gary said that a bet is one thing but the hotel room is completely different.
Jon asked Ralph if he talked to Artie about that off the air. Ralph said that he did talk to him about it and Artie told him that he got some chips for his room and he was supposed to pay him for the room. Ralph said that maybe Artie was high and he doesn't remember it.
Ralph's prediction for the future of the Stern Show is that it will start at 7am and it will be only 3 days long and Howard will take more vacation. Ralph said that the show doesn't need to start at 6am so they could start it later. He said that he thinks that it will be on in the morning though. The guys all predicted that Benjy will still run through the hallway to get to work on time, no matter what time they start the show.
Howard started off the show talking about an article in the paper about Jewel who is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he thought she was a little more happening than that. It's making her look bad. Robin said she was in some other reality show too. Howard said that this is pretty bad that she's going to be dancing with the stars.
Robin said that she thought the other show was pretty bad too. She was a judge on a country show that was a rip off of American Idol.
Howard said that he'll watch Dancing with the Stars if she's going to be on it. Steve-O has also been booked to do the show. Howard said that's funny and he'd be concerned if they let him on. He said that he could do something really crazy if he's on live TV.
Howard said that the guys were talking about Artie on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and how he might not be telling the truth about the bottle of urine he bought. That led to Artie talking about the way Gary talks about him on the Wrap UP Show and makes blanket statements about him and lies about everything. Artie said that Gary isn't funny and he doesn't care if his monkey ass believes him or not. He's going to get brutally honest with him now.
Gary asked Artie if he think that he's the only one that doesn't believe anything he says. Artie said that it's just the way Gary thinks that he knows everything on that show. Gary said that he has people coming to him every day with stuff about Artie.
Artie wanted to know who the people were who were coming to him. Artie said that he's not going to lie with Gary anymore. Artie told Gary that he was telling the reporter from Rolling Stone that he was jogging and he was going to lie about it to the guys on the show. Artie said that was just a joke. He told Gary not to talk about that stuff and make it seem like he knows that he's lying about everything. Artie said that they get the truth out of him always... eventually.
Artie told Gary that he's going to get really brutal with him and tell him the way he really feels about him going to Afghanistan with him. Howard wanted to hear about that. Artie said that he'll either tell the truth or just keep his mouth shut. Howard asked Artie if he really didn't want him going to Afghanistan with him. Artie said he wasn't going to say.
Artie told Gary that he's not funny, Jon and Will aren't funny and that show isn't funny. Artie was freaking out on him about that. He told Howard to play some clips from the show where they talked about him. He said that his war stories are always horrible on that show. Artie asked why Will is on the air at all. He said that he doesn't have any business being on that show.
Artie said that Gary has no business being on the air either. Gary said that Artie may not have any business on the air either. Gary told Howard that he knew this day was coming and some day he's going to do the same to Howard.
Howard said that if Artie thinks that he's wronged him then he has carte blanche to out him. He said that's what makes the show interesting.
Artie said that Will was on that show talking about him too. Gary said that there are a lot of people there who think that he's lying about a lot of stuff. Will came in and asked if it's that ridiculous to think that he's lying about the urine. He said that there's no reason to believe the things that he says. Will said that Artie lies about everything on the show and they can't believe him.
Will said that he was saying something funny when he said that Artie was lying about the urine. Artie said that wasn't funny. He didn't think it was that crazy that people don't believe what he says. Will also said that he doesn't care what Artie thinks about him but he still loves him. Will said that Artie calls him names all the time and he's fine with that. He said that he wasn't being malicious when he said that he was lying.
Howard said that the piss story is a great one and it could be made up. Artie said that it's another winner and another radio award for that great story.
Gary said that Artie is dead to him now on the Wrap Up Show and he won't talk about him on there anymore. Gary said that they don't have to mention him on there anymore and he's bored with it. He told Artie not to talk to him and to send his minions to him instead. He said that he shouldn't talk to him anymore if that's the way he's going to react.
Gary said that this is the real Artie and he's allowed to be mad back at him. Gary said that he took shots at him and this is the way things are going to go. Gary said that he doesn't trust Artie anymore. Artie laughed and said he's not sure how he ruined his trust. Gary said that they were never really friends and they have nothing in common.
Artie said that of course they don't because they have different lives. Artie said that he hated what Gary had to say about him yesterday and he's not mad at him, he just hated what he said. Gary said that he has it under control and he won't do anything to jeopardize the show and not talking to Artie about stuff won't change their relationship.
Gary said that Artie can call him with his lies about being sick if he needs to but he doesn't need to talk to him any other time.
Artie talked about how bad the Wrap Up Show is. Howard said that he likes the Wrap Up Show. Gary said that Artie isn't even coming on the show as much as he used to. Artie said that he has to go out and do heroin after the show. He has an 11 o'clock appointment to do heroin every day, that's why he's not on that show. He may have been kidding about that.
Artie said that he's mad at Gary now and Gary might be hurt but he's just trying to piss Gary off with this because he was hurt by what he was saying yesterday. He was throwing casual statements out about him about lying and that really aggravated him. He said that it could hurt him personally and professionally.
Gary told him he could have come in and talked to him about it off the air. Artie said that Gary was talking about his juice spill too and making it seem like he was a slob. Gary said that it was kind of a ''fuck you'' when he just looked at him and walked out of the studio as he was cleaning up his mess.
Artie asked Gary if he talked to Rob Burnett about picking up jizz rags for Dave (Letterman) when he went to lunch with him. Gary said he hasn't gone to lunch with him yet. Howard said that Gary has been going out testing the waters to see what kind of work might be out there for when this show is over. Artie told Gary maybe he should check the bread line.
Artie said that Gary seems to think that their relationship has changed and he really can't believe that he thinks he's a liar. He said that there have been times when he's lied about stuff and that's what happens, it's life and you lie about shit.
Robin said that Artie is upset with Gary because it really matters to him. Artie said that it hurt him a lot to hear that coming from Gary. Howard said that Artie lied about going to a shrink for 5 months. Artie said that was work related.
Gary said that they weren't going to fire Artie over that shrink thing. Artie said that it's not just the show that he has to worry about. He said that he had to lie about that to protect his mother. Gary said that he's lying to people to cover up other things than the drugs.
Artie said that he wouldn't make up something about the piss. He laughed about that when he said it wasn't a lie. Gary said that he's done with this and he's not going to talk about this anymore. Gary said that Artie is mad at him about what he said on that show and he's not sure what he can or can't say about him on the show. Robin said that she's fascinated when they talk about her on that show.
Artie said that he didn't like what they said about him but Howard was saying that it's not boring if it's getting this kind of reaction.
Artie said that he and Gary had a lot of fun in Afghanistan and he knows that they had fun over there. Gary said that he was talking about whether or not Artie wanted him there, not the kind of time they had when they were there. Artie said that he was just trying to make Gary mad. Gary said he doesn't know if he can believe Artie now. He's thinking that Artie could be just trying to protect himself over this and he's just saying that to cover up.
Artie said that if he can't tell if he likes him or not based on their experience there, that's fucked up. Gary said he's still not sure if Artie wanted him there. Artie said that he did but he laughed when he said yes. Howard said that he has to be honest about that.
Artie said that he did want Gary to come. Howard said he believed him. He asked Artie if he would take a lie detector test on that. Artie said he would but he just wants Ed Torian in there for anything.
Howard asked Artie to tell the truth about this one thing. He said that Gary thinks that he's lying about everything and he wants him to just tell the truth about wanting Gary to go to Afghanistan. Artie said ''yes'' and Fred played a buzzer sound like he was lying. Howard said Artie gave him a smile before he gave him the answer and he thinks that he's lying about that.
Robin said that she thinks Artie had a different idea when he was crafting that whole thing and it all changed when Gary wanted to go. She said that Artie probably needed some other people there with him and Gary threw a wrench into the plans.
Artie said that Gary was aggressive about it and he had to turn down a friend from going with him. He said that Gary is someone who the troops may have wanted to see and that was going to work out for them. Artie also said that his friend may have gotten lost in the poppy fields over there if he had gone.
Howard asked Artie about the trip that he and Gary took up to New England. Artie said he was actually very glad that Gary was with him on that trip.
Gary came into the studio so Howard asked him why he was there. Gary said he was pretty sure that Artie wasn't going to throw anything at him at that point. Gary went on to talk about the trip to New England with the Kraft family and how he went along for the Kraft's and for Artie. He said that they didn't know each other that well and he was able to make small talk with them.
Gary said that the worst thing he did on that trip was watch American Idol on the flight while Artie's uncle looked at them in disgust.
Artie said that the Afghanistan thing is a sore subject with Gary. Artie said that he was over there for a long time with Gary and he wouldn't have been able to hide his disdain for him for that long.
Gary said that Artie did get mad at him on the trip over something. He said that Artie was on 15 valium some other pills and 3 shots of Wild Turkey at the time. Robin and Howard wondered how he can do so much and not die.
Gary said that he's not sure what Artie remembers and what he doesn't. He said that they were over in this airport coming back from Afghanistan. He said that he was afraid that Artie was going to smash the video camera he was using because he was in such a mood. Artie said that he was ready to get the hell out of there and to pay $18,000 to get out of there. Gary said that they were on the tarmac of the airport and walked right past the plane they were supposed to go on. Gary said that they were late getting there but it wasn't their fault.
Artie said that the connecting flight was the problem. Gary said that Artie got his pills and started drinking and got really pissed off. Gary said that they went back to the base after that. Artie was fucked up beyond belief. Gary said he went into Artie's room and asked him how he was feeling. Gary said that he would never use that tape without asking Artie about it after taping him. Artie said that a true friend wouldn't have taped it at all.
Artie said that he can't watch the tape of him throwing stuff at Teddy. Robin said that the tape could have made him snap out of this drug thing if he saw it. Howard said that Artie told them to air that Teddy thing. Artie called Howard and told him to air it. Howard said that he believed Artie at the time that he was okay with it. Artie said that he's not okay with it.
Gary said that he asked Artie about how he was feeling over there after that airport incident and Artie really went off on him. He shut the camera off immediately. He said he thought Artie fell asleep after that. Gary said it was like 5 in the morning and they were all going to go to bed. Artie said that they were actually going to go out and get breakfast.
Gary said that they were all standing around having a conversation about how fucked up Artie was and then Artie came out and went right after him. Artie went off on him calling him the worst names he could imagine. Gary said Artie came out the next morning and pretended that nothing had happened but he was actually terrified at the time when he came after him.
Howard said he knew about this back then and Gary was really upset by the situation. Gary said that he didn't want to remind Artie about it because he wasn't sure what he remembered. Artie said that he was being filmed and that made him wonder if he was a real friend or not.
Artie said that it made him wonder if Gary would try to talk him out of jumping off a cliff or just film him doing it. Artie said that he has to think about what his kids would think. Howard said that Artie can't have kids. Artie said that he thinks that he's going to do that and have an illegitimate kid.
Artie said that this guy who was with them over there was very tolerant of their bullshit behavior. He said that the one thing that he remembered was the guy getting upset with him over what he was doing and he grabbed him on the shoulder and told him to straighten up because they were on an Army base. Howard asked if he saw the tirade against Gary. Gary said he didn't see that part.
Artie said that Dave Attell was sober at that point but he smokes like crazy. Gary said that he doesn't sleep much either. Artie said that's what makes him such a great stand-up. He works like crazy.
Gary said that the day they came home Dave Attell called and got a spot at a comedy club. He made the call as soon as they landed.
Artie said that they were over in Afghanistan and Jim Florentine had a cell phone that they could use and Dave Attell made a call to the Comedy Cellar to book a gig. That was right after they were bombed and everyone else was calling their families.
Howard said that they're done with this for now and they can move on from their arguments. Howard said that Artie didn't like being dead to Gary and they've kind of made up now. Artie said that it was like the Haggler / Hearns fight. They only went three rounds.
Artie said that it had upset him yesterday but he slept on it and thought he was going to be okay. Then he came in this morning and something triggered it again.
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Howard said that Robin's enemas made the news yesterday and they wanted to talk to her about that. JD said that Robin was on Extra but they used some video of a 2 year old interview.
Howard said he liked that argument with Artie and Gary and he wanted to go back to that. He said that Gary can get really mad sometimes. Artie said that Howard knows how to set him off. He said that he actually loves Gary but he was mad so he went off on him.
Artie had said something about the jokes that Bob Levy had given Gary for the Afghanistan trip and even nailed poor Bob in that fight.
Howard had some audio from FOX news where a reporter started to giggle about something a guest said. The guest said that Barack Obama and his wife do a lot of intimate things with each other and said that they even do ''fisting'' which wasn't what most people would think she meant.
Howard talked about the Knicks loss last night and how Lebron James ended up scoring 52 points himself. Howard said that he'd like to see the Knicks win sometimes.
Howard said he was reading about some of the people who Bernie Madoff ripped off. He said that the great baseball player Sandy Koufax got ripped off. The guys spent a short time talking about Koufax and how he didn't make a ton of money playing back in those days.
Howard said that the other day he was talking about a glitch during the Super Bowl broadcast where they showed some porno. Howard said that he got a letter from a guy whose parents saw the screw up. It only happened to basic cable subscribers according to this one guy. Howard said that the guy's parents thought that it was a commercial until they saw the dick. Then Comcast offered them a $5 credit for their trouble. Howard said that the mother made the father leave the room during the penis thing so Howard was kind of curious about why she'd do that.
Howard said that there was a case at this Canyon Ranch spa thing where they had to pay off for a tipping problem they had. Howard said that they were telling people that they would distribute the tips among the workers but the workers said they never got any of those tips. The hotel chain was saying that they weren't really tips and it was actually a service charge. Howard said that the workers ended up getting paid that money in the law suit.
Howard asked Gary a question but Gary was busy trying to get over the fight. He said that he and Jon were talking about the fight because he was so rattled over it. Gary said that he and Jon were talking about the Afghanistan story and how it was good that he finally got it off his chest.
Howard said that Gary is supposed to talk about the show on the Wrap Up Show. Artie said that they've pissed him off before with stuff too but this really got to him. Howard said he just lets it roll off his back when they talk about him.
Gary showed Robin the picture and said that Katherine Heigl could stand to lose 5 or 10 pounds. Howard asked for the magazine and said that Beth should have run away with that. Artie said that Beth definitely wins but it was closer than the last time.
Howard said that Beth didn't know that she was going to end up in a competition when she had her picture taken. Fred said that he thought that it was going to be close but he definitely thought that Beth was a winner with that one. Benjy said that Beth is winning that competition online. He said that he would fuck both of them if he had the chance. Artie said that he would only fuck Catherine because Beth is married to Howard.
Howard said that Beth went to see ''South Pacific'' the other night. He was talking about that play and some of the songs in that. Then he saw that KC was on the phone with a problem.
Howard said he got a ton of letters from the fans about KC's web site and how it wasn't working right when they went to the site. He said that the site, TrainWithKC.com, didn't have working links. KC said that he's going to make people thousands of dollars with that. He said that it's not a pyramid scheme and it's not illegal.
KC said that he had another story to tell too. KC said that his teeth were all cracked and stuff and a couple of weeks ago he got drunk and tried to fix his teeth on his own. He said he wasn't feeling any pain and he ended up getting his teeth infected. KC said that he's all handsome now because he got them taken care of.
KC got in a plug for the dentist too. Howard said that he's plugging everything now. Howard said that it's funny that KC almost got himself arrested over that legal scheme thing.
Artie said that he and Sal were talking over the weekend and Sal thought that being on the show would help open some doors for him in the future. Artie said that it isn't helping KC out that much.
Howard said Gary learned that there might be nothing out there for him. Gary said that he discovered that there are a lot of jobs similar to his and most of the guys out there are doing budgets and stuff. Gary said that he has to learn how to do a budget because that's what a lot of these guys take care of.
Howard said that he thought that it was a discouraging conversation for Gary. Gary said that's not the case. He said that he just learned that there isn't that much out there. Howard said that he and Rob Burnett have been keeping in touch and that guy is out producing shows and stuff and he's more of a writer than a producer.
Gary said that he's not sure what's going to happen. He said that Howard was very convincing when he talked about leaving radio.
Howard said that even Beth doesn't believe him. He said that she thinks that things are going to change and they're going to be home together all the time if he does retire from the radio show. Artie said that she's going to have to change her shit time.
Howard said that he's going to tell everyone what he's going to do as soon as he knows. Howard said that he doesn't want to go back to terrestrial radio even though he knows that they want him back. Howard said that he feels good about that but he doesn't see going back to that. Howard said that this is too much fun for him. He said that Bubba is doing a great job with his show on terrestrial radio. Howard said he had all of this freedom and he's still able to keep it interesting. Howard said he's not sure he'd have any interest in doing that.
Gary said that they seemed to have followed the rules of terrestrial when they moved to satellite and maybe they could change some of that. Howard said that they might be able to mix it up and make it different. Howard said that they have 2 more years there and it seems like an eternity to him. Artie said that it's going to go by fast. Howard said it's not fast for him.
Artie said that he's got a really tough schedule and he'd cut down on the stand-up schedule if they paid him more money. Artie said that he can make enough on the road that it's tough for him to leave it on the table. He said that he has to fly all over the place and do these shows so it's tough for him. Artie said that he knows Howard's regimen and how he seems to enjoy working there. Howard said they'll all sit down at some point and figure it out. Howard said it depends on when they (SIRIUS) have that discussion with him.
Gary asked Robin if she could retire and not have to work if the show ended. Robin said that she would have to keep working. Gary said that maybe Robin will do a show and he could be a producer for her show. Robin said that Gary would have to go through Artie first.
Gary said that he thinks that the source of the things that he thought Artie was saying about him may have been Ralph. Artie said that Ralph was the one who got in his ear about him going over to Afghanistan. Gary said that the source makes it that much worse. Howard said he had to get to Beetlejuice but he had to take a break.
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Howard said that someone called in and said that they wanted to hear the full Hate Man phony phone call that they had played the other day. They had cut the call down to something shorter. Howard said the original call was 3 minutes and 14 seconds so he played that whole call since someone requested it. It was a call to a phone sex line where they had Hate Man having phone sex with this woman and had him cursing her out and calling her the N-word and stuff like that. The woman just takes it all and plays along with it.
Howard said he likes the full version better. Robin said that she was kind of muffled in the beginning. Howard said they should have a poll on his web site to find out which one the people like better. Howard said that having that extra footage is like having a Bonus DVD. Artie said that call is the reason they can't go back to regular radio.
Howard said that he heard that Beetle wants to be a cop. Beet said that he might do that. He said that he has to do what he has to do. Beetlejuice said that the boss wants him to do it so that's why he's doing it. Beetlejuice said that he might work in Manhattan and he will be carrying a gun.
Howard asked Beet if he thinks that asking a motorist to give him a blow job to get out of a ticket is wrong. Beet said that it could be. He said that he would just give her a warning and let her go instead of demanding a blow job. Howard asked him if he could drive a car. Beet said he could do that too.
Howard asked Beet if he could pass a drug test. Beet said that he has passed them before. Beet said that he smokes pot but so do the cops. He said that he does that every single day. Beet said that he could pass the test anytime.
Howard said that there are dangerous situations when he'd have to kill people. Beet said that he's shot some people before. Howard asked what he was doing that he had to shoot someone. Beet said that maybe he was robbing someone and he might have broken his neck or something too.
Artie said that Beet is gay and the cops may not like that. Beet said he's not gay. He said that he's never blown a guy and he never would. Artie said he heard that he's a fag. Beet told him that he must be out of his mind. Artie was trying to get him worked up but Beet was staying pretty calm. Beet said that Artie looks like a ''gay faggot.''
Howard asked Beetlejuice about gay marriage. Beet said he doesn't like that. He said he doesn't know about it, he don't care about it. Howard asked Beet if he's a republican. Beet said that he has nothing against that.
Howard asked Beet if he voted for the black President. Beet said he never did that. Beet said that he wouldn't vote for someone he don't like. Beet said he's a ''gay fucker'' and a ''fuckin weirdo.'' Howard said Beet sounds like Scott DePace.
Howard asked Beetlejuice what he would do if he came upon a boat with Robin and Howard in it. He wanted to know who he would save if he could only save one person. Beet said that he could choose one person but he doesn't think that he could save anyone unless someone dies. Howard tried to explain it to him again because he didn't seem to get the question. Beet said that Robin wouldn't be able to live because she'd be 2 feet under water. Beet was going around in circles and not really answering the question.
Howard said that they were all excited about this Killers of Comedy appearance he's making. Howard asked if he likes Bob Levy. Beet said that Bob has his thing going on. Artie said that he did a show up in Vermont in February. He told Beet to bring a sweater.
Artie tried to get Beet all worked up again by calling him a fag. Beet told Artie he was a fat fuck and asked if any chicks fuck that fat fuck. Beet said that he's skinny and he's only like 28 pounds. Beet started to get pissed and went off on him. Artie said that Beet is thin because he shits in his pants. Beet told Artie he's a fuckin' mess and a fat fuck. He said that no one bought his book either.
Artie said that Sal is feeding him information now. Howard said that maybe it's Bob Levy who is filling his head with that information. Artie said that he guarantees that Beet has shit in his pants right now. Howard said that it was the other little guy who was shitting in Beet's pants for him.
Beet said that no one likes Artie's book and he's just a piece of shit and a fat fuckin' slob. Beet said that no one likes him. Artie said that nobody likes Beet.
Howard took a call from Wood Yi (audio clips) who said he loves a huge black cock. Wood Yi said that he'd give Beet a bucket of chicken for a hand job. Beet wasn't answering the questions and told him to go suck Artie's cock.
Howard congratulated Beet for his bravery in becoming a cop. He gave him some more plugs and said that you can go to CleanBoxEntertainment.com for ticket info. You can also find out how to book Beet at JollyDwarf.com.
Howard said that Beetlejuice is in this Howard TV special about the Killers of Comedy too.
Howard took a call from Ed Torian (audio clips) who was asking Beet some questions about having anal sex and having sex with farm animals. Beet wasn't answering those questions either.
Howard let Beet go a short time later. Artie was still trying to get him fired up. A caller asked Artie if he could come up to Vermont to get Beet fired up when he's up there.
Howard was about to go to break but Artie told him that he has to see Levy first. He said that Levy stopped dying his hair and it's going grey. Howard said that he did look like Edgar Winter. Artie said that he looks like he's 85 years old with the grey goatee. Artie said that Bob's wife is such a doll and he seems to have found the right woman. Bob said that she's great and they are having a great time.
Artie said that Bob is trying to have another kid. Howard told Bob that he can't do that. Bob said that his wife wants to have a kid. Howard said that she's going to get fat if she does that. Bob said that she's only 96 pounds and she can't get that much bigger. Bob said that he'll see them next week when he comes back for his own appearance on the show. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that he got copies of the first two Underworld movies from the President of Screen Gems. Howard said he'll be watching those this weekend.
Howard said that the tape of Christian Bale yelling on the set of Terminator is just great and it's making the rounds. Howard said that Ralph pointed out that it was during the filming of a dumb robot movie. Artie said that they were making a very expensive movie there so that might be why he was upset about the way the scene was going.
Howard said he had another $500 to give away courtesy of TSS-Radio.com. He had some more Britney Stevens questions to play with so he put in the CD for the games. Howard played the first question which was ''Who invented the light bulb?'' The caller said there was no way she'd know. He was right, Britney said ''Albert Einstein.''
The next question was ''Name your 5 senses.'' Howard and the guys tried to figure out what she might say. Fred said that she'll probably come up with ''non.'' Howard didn't get it so Fred said ''Non-sense.'' The caller, The Zig, said that Britney wouldn't get all 5. She said ''Smell, Taste, Touch, Feel, See'' and missed hearing.
Howard played the next one which was ''Who wrote Mein Kampf?'' The Zig said that she wouldn't know that one either. Britney said ''God? I don't know.'' That one made Artie laugh his ass off.
Howard gave The Zig his prize and put him on hold. He said he had some more money to give away so he got Bobo on the phone and let him take a shot. Howard told him that he wouldn't give it to him if he got it wrong. Howard asked Bobo if he had a stupid question for him. Bobo said he did and asked if Beth ever dresses up for him and does the school girl outfit thing for him. Howard said that she did that once when they went on a trip but she hasn't done it since then. He said she really doesn't need to do that though because she's so hot.
Howard said that he's been having sex with Beth for 9 years now and he still gets very turned on and hopes that he won't finish too soon. Howard said that Beth was out last night so he thought about beating off. He said that it was like an explosion because he hadn't had sex in like 2 days. He said he's still very virile at his age.
Howard said he had 3 tissues and everything got all over the place even though he had them. Howard said he got the stuff on his underpants and had to clean it all up.
Howard got back to the game and played the first question for Bobo. Sal asked Britney Stevens ''How many states are in the country?'' Bobo said she would know. He was right, she got it correct. The next question was ''What vegetables are pickles made from?'' Bobo didn't even know what it was. Howard couldn't believe that. Bobo guessed that it was ''seeds.'' Howard told Bobo to work his way through this and just try to guess what vegetable it was. Howard asked him what they look like. Bobo said that they're green. Howard asked him what that could possibly be. Bobo didn't know. Everyone was trying to help him figure it out but Bobo eventually said it looked like a cucumber. He said he just never thought about what they were. Artie said that none of them think about it but they know the answer.
Howard asked Bobo where a raisin comes from. Bobo said they come from the ground. He said that he thinks that they might be like figs, but not actually figs. Howard tried to help Bobo figure that one out too. Bobo said that he knows they come from the ground. Howard told Bobo that they come from something else, just like pickles come from a cucumber. Bobo eventually figured that one out and said that they were grapes. Howard asked Bobo where prunes come from. Robin said that they're plums.
Bobo guessed that Britney wouldn't know the pickle thing but she actually did know. Bobo said ''Bitch!'' when he heard that. Howard played the next question which was ''What was Popeye's girlfriend's name?'' Bobo said that she would know that. Howard and the guys said no way. Britney said ''Sailor.''
Howard said that Bobo had 2 questions left and he had to match on both. The next one was ''Who was the first President of the United States?'' Even Bobo knew the right answer on that one. Howard said that Britney has to know that one. Bobo said he thinks that she'll know that. Britney said ''Abraham Lincoln.'' Bobo knew that she was going to say that.
Howard said that he had to let Bobo go after that. He said he'll get another shot sometime in the future. Howard said that he would play again but he's not sure they have enough questions left.
Gary said that Sal told him that they had 5 questions left so they could do it. Howard said that he was going to trust Sal then. He asked Robin to pick a number between 1 and 12 and she picked 8. Howard said that didn't work because his phone system is so weird. He picked phone line 5 instead. The caller said that he had just won $500 from them about 2 weeks ago so he wasn't going to play. The guy said that he had an idea for a prank call using the Lily Tomlin and Christian Bale tapes and suggested that they call a marriage counselor. Howard said that it would be tough to get permission to air something like that.
Howard played the game with the caller even though he had just own a couple of weeks ago. The first question was ''How many pints are in a quart?'' The caller said that she wouldn't know it. Britney said ''One.''
The next question was ''How many sides are on a triangle?'' The caller said she wouldn't know it. Howard said she has to know that. There was no answer on the CD so Howard asked Sal if he fucked up. Sal said that he tested the CD with Scott. Sal said that she actually got that one right. He actually had it there.
Howard played the next question which was ''Who is currently the vice President?'' but then he said that he was done with the game because Sal had fucked it up. He told Sal that he had fucked up and he was done with him. Sal said that Scott tests all of the CDs and he should have had it right. Howard asked Sal how long he's been listening to the show. Sal said he's been a fan for about 23 years. Howard told him that Scott doesn't get a lot of stuff right and there's always a screw up when Scott is involved. Sal said that's true about 99 percent of the time.
Gary came in and said that Sal is wrong. He said that Sal is throwing Scott under the bus and it was Sal who transposed the questions and answers. Sal said that he made the mistake of not sitting there with Scott to make sure he got them right. Sal said that it was the first time he didn't sit there with him. Sal asked how stupid Scott could be.
Scott came in and said that he's absolutely an asshole. He said that Sal was the one who put them in that order. He just checked to make sure that the CD works and the CD player would work. Scott said that it was Sal's fault.
Sal said that Scott is the only one who has the right CD player to test those CDs on. Scott said that's not true. The caller said that they should call Gary the Retard with the arguments that Artie had with Gary this morning. Howard told Sal to do that to redeem himself. They had to go to break a short time later.
Ron said that Frost knew that he had to get something out of the guy and that's why he did what he did. Howard said that it was supposed to be a fluff piece but then Frost turned on him and asked some really detailed questions.
Howard asked some questions about the movie and if it was true that Nixon would call people and not remember the calls the next day. Ron said that was the rumor. Ron told Howard that the guy who wrote the movie told him that his eyes had glazed over when he first told him that he was writing the movie. Ron said he's very proud of that movie now though.
Howard said that turning the play into a movie is something else. He said he did a great job with that. Ron and Howard talked about some of the people in the movie for a minute before moving on.
Howard said that a lot of child stars go bad but Ron Howard is like the only one who isn't a screw ball. Artie said that Jodi Foster is another one who isn't screwed up. Ron said that he's lucky. He said that his parents did the right thing with him.
Howard said that Ron lucked out after ''Happy Days'' ended. Ron said that he knew that he wanted to direct back then and he was already doing that at the time that show ended. He said that he knew he was walking way from good money but he knew that he loved doing the job.
Howard asked Ron how he picks these great projects. Ron said that he loves working with the actors and writers and he thinks that he can zone in on what the people want to see. He said that the people who were in the play were the people he wanted in the movie so a lot of them are in it.
Howard asked Ron how long it takes to do the script for the movie. Ron said that the play was already written and they were able to pull the movie together in about 6-8 months. Ron said that a lot of this stuff overlaps so he'll be editing one thing and trying to cast another and things like that.
Howard asked Ron if he has any other hobbies that he does. Ron said that it's pretty much all about the movies. He said he loves doing it too and he gets to travel around doing them so it's great. Ron said that he loves that he can do ''Frost Nixon'' and then turn around and do ''Angels and Demons'' that he's working on with Tom Hanks.
Howard asked Ron if he thinks that he had to prove something since he was a child actor and a bit of a joke. Ron said that people were skeptical about it. He said that he did some stuff with Roger Korman early on. He said that when Happy Days was number 1 he wasn't getting any good movie offers. He said that ''Eat My Dust'' was something that Roger asked him to do. He told Roger that he wanted to direct and gave him a script. He said that Roger didn't want to do the movie and told him that if he acts in ''Eat My Dust'' he'd let him direct ''Grand Theft Auto.'' Ron got to do that and it turned out to be a hit movie. Then he got to do TV movies and that's where he met Brian Grazer who he still works with now.
Ron said that he was able to do ''Night Shift'' thanks to Brian Grazer working it through the system. Howard asked what happened to Michael Keaton because it seems like he fell off the face of the earth. Ron said that he's not sure. He said that he worked with him on some stuff and the guy is very funny and lively. Howard said that he should have told him to stick to the Batman thing and milk that for all it was worth. Ron said he was probably bored with that and wanted to do other stuff.
Howard asked Ron about his daughter Bryce, who is an actress, and was on the set during Christian Bale's meltdown. Ron said he thought Howard might bring that up. Ron said that he did hear about the meltdown from his daughter and they were in a really tense, dramatic scene. The DP interrupted it by walking around and that's not supposed to happen. Ron said that the guy went off and he could tell that the guy regretted it immediately. Ron said that it shocked his daughter that he went off like that but it can get intense on a set like that.
Howard said that he thinks that Bale was showing off for Bryce. He said that she's very attractive and he was probably showing off. Howard said that he would have relations with her if he could.
Ron said that kind of stuff happens on a set. Howard asked if the director should have stepped in. Ron said that you could hear the guy trying to step in and they were able to finish that scene that night and the DP didn't lose his job.
Howard said he heard that Ron went on the honeymoon with his daughter. Ron said that they had planned a family reunion over in Greece right around the time of the wedding so they went along on the family trip at the same time they were on their honeymoon.
Howard asked Ron if it's tough to be friends with Mel Gibson after his anti-Semitic remarks. Ron said that Mel never said anything on the set of ''Ransom'' when he worked with him. Ron said that he would work with Mel again on a film. He said that he's incredibly talented and he doesn't believe that in a sober state he's an anti-Semite. Howard said that even he's an anti-Semite when he's drunk. Ron said that Mel would probably even say that he has demons that he'd prefer not emerge at times.
Howard said that this ''Frost Nixon'' movie is so good and he wonders why there are so many great movies out there in the same year. Ron said that there really were a bunch of great movies this year. He said that there are about 12 that he thinks are just outstanding. Howard talked about some of the movies that he saw and loved. He said that ''The Reader'' was great and Kate Winslet was great in it.
Ron said that sometimes things just click and they had a bunch of great movies this year. He said that Howard should know that from doing his show every day. Ron also said that the audience is getting smarter and demanding better and better stuff.
Gary came in and said that he read a review of ''Apollo 13'' that has to do with this movie too. He said that you already know the ending but you still have to see the movie. Howard talked about how great Frank Langella was as Nixon. They talked about the guy who played David Frost too. Howard said that Nixon has to be played almost like a vampire who is sucking the life out of the country.
Artie asked if anyone wanted to change the ending of ''Apollo 13'' when they made that. Ron said that they had a bunch of comments when they did some previews and one guy wrote ''more Hollywood bullshit, they would never survive'' on his comment card. The ending was based on a true story.
Howard told Ron he hopes that he wins an Academy Award for this movie. Ron thanked him for that. Howard asked if Ron was in bed with his wife right then. Ron said that they were having sex. Howard asked if they could listen in while they had sex and asked him to just drop the phone and leave it there while they do it. Ron laughed at that.
Artie asked about the movie ''Night Shift'' and if he asked Henry Winkler to play the nerd so he'd be the opposite of Fonzie. Ron said that it was actually Henry's idea to play the part in that movie. He said he did ask him to do the movie just so they could get the movie made but Henry picked that character to play.
Gary brought up the video that Ron made for Obama and how that all came about. Ron said that he was working with Tom Hanks at the time and he pitched the idea to him. He then spoke to Judd Apatow and they hooked up with some other people and they ended up making the thing. Ron said that he called some people and asked them to help out with it and they were all very willing to do it. Ron said that the Obama people didn't even know about the video until it was already made. They ended up putting it on FunnyOrDie.com and then they put it on TVLand.
Ron said that he never heard anything from the President or anything but he did get a bunch of pats on the back for the video. He said that he was at the inauguration and had a bunch of people coming up to him and telling him how great Frank Langella was as Nixon.
Howard told Ron to go have sex with his wife as he was wrapping up. Ron said that they were already done. He joked that they were doing it while he was talking. They had to go to break after that.
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Greg said that he had Belladonna on his show naked in his hot tub and they didn't play any clips of that. Howard asked how that happened. Greg said that he met Belladonna out at the Porn Awards and he found her to be very funny. He said that she's great so he called her up to be on his show. He said that his wife doesn't mind because she knows that he's just doing his job.
Greg said that he asked Belladonna to get naked in the tub and she went right ahead and did it. Greg said that her boyfriend was trying to get her to urinate in his back yard while he was interviewing her in the tub. Greg said that this just about sums up his life because he's a suburban dad with a naked porn star in his hot tub.
Greg said that Belladonna is smart and they should have her on the show. Howard said that people are worried about Greg. He's on a bunch of anti-depressants. Greg said that when his second kid was born he was working on the Ellen Degeneres show and he needed those pills back then. Greg said that he's got depression and his family has had it and you start wondering what life is all about and why you exist.
Artie said that he knows the feeling because he's had the same type of thing. Greg said that he's tried a bunch of different pills and he's taking Aderol and Symbalta right now. He has some other pills that he's taking for some nerve problems. Howard told him to go see Dr. Sarno about his back pain. Greg asked him to set that up for him. Howard told him to book the appointment for himself.
Artie said that he asked Greg about how he was doing recently and he said that he's really not doing that well. Howard said that Greg was an alcoholic. Greg said that he's not drinking and he's working really hard right now. He said that he's got a lot of things to be depressed about. Howard said he hopes he doesn't do anything drastic. Greg said he's never thought about killing himself or anything.
Howard had Mike get to his game so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard said he got an article (A Takeover Of Sirius (SIRI): Buying What No One Wants) about Echostar buying up SIRIUS stock and he's not sure what's going on with that so he's not going to talk about it. Howard said that he just wants to know about who he's going to be working for. He said he doesn't understand the whole thing.
Artie said he kind of gets it and compared the deal to a guy owing money to a bookie and the bookie selling off his debt to another bookie and the guy having to owe the new guy the money.
Howard gave Greg some more plugs for the shows he's doing at the Stress Factory this weekend. He also took a call from a guy who said that he saw Greg in Ohio and he was doing great until one woman heckled him and then Greg spent the next 25 minutes goofing on her.
Howard went to Steve Langford for his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said they have a story about Artie's cupcake that will be back to giving money to a charity. They will be donating to St. Judes. They're going to give 1 dollar for every cupcake sold. Artie said that he will be making an appearance at the new Crumbs in Westfield, New Jersey sometime in the future.
Steve said that Jon Hein has a fan in this guy who teaches a Pop Culture class. Steve said they have a story about Double A getting angry for being turned away from getting back stage at Artie's comedy show. He's also upset that the girl he was there with got back there. Artie said that he's known her for a long time and security was told not to let anyone in that they didn't know.
Steve said that Wynona Judd was up there yesterday and she had brought her dog up. Meanwhile Howard's dog was turned away from the building a few years ago. Howard said that he kind of liked seeing that she was up there doing that show.
Steve said that both Gary and Lisa G are going to be on the WPIX show tomorrow morning. Lisa will be co-hosting the weather with Linda Church and Gary will be doing a Gadget Guy segment.
Howard said that Gary will be doing that Gadget Gary thing tomorrow morning. Howard did an impression of him doing that. Howard said that the co-hosting of the weather should be really fun too.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down his list of subjects that they'll be covering today. Jon said that they'll be talking about Artie and Artie is welcome on the show anytime. Greg asked if he was okay on that show. Jon said that of course he is.
The guys were talking about how Greg had gotten into an argument with Jon and Gary the last time he was on the Wrap Up Show. Gary came in and explained how Greg was basically saying that Artie is talent on the show and he can come and go as he pleases. Howard cut them off and told them to take it up on the Wrap Up Show instead. Howard said it wasn't that interesting to him.
Howard had Mutt from Superfan Roundtable on the phone next. Mutt said that they'll be talking about Artie tonight. He said that it might be all about the Artie and Gary fight. They may also talk about Jon and Gary and if they're funny on the Wrap Up Show. They're on tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Robin started her news off with a story about Steven King talking about the author of ''Twilight.'' She had some quotes from him and Dean Koonz as well.
Howard said that Regis Philbin got pranked with a fake name from a listener and he read it on the air. He didn't have the audio but he said that he likes when people make up names like that. Howard said that Sal did that with the ''Nick Gerz'' thing in a department store recently. He told Greg about that and played it for him a short time later. Howard said that he went off on Sal about that and told him how wrong it was to do that.
Gary said that Sal was doing the show at the Borgata doing the show with Artie and he used that ''Nick Gerz'' joke again during his act. Artie told Sal that he should absolutely do that joke when he asked him if he should.
Robin said that she read that Angie Everhart is shopping her show around, she thought that she had already had it set up but she's just shopping it around. Howard had a 17 year old kid on the phone who said that this ''Nick Gerz'' stuff is very childish. The kid said that a lot of the stuff Sal does is really funny but he knows better than to do something like that in public.
Howard told the caller that Sal is like 40-something and this 17 year old is wiser than him. The kid said that he thinks it's hilarious that he'd do something so dumb but he never would have imagined him doing it. He said that he'd expect him to do something better than that.
Gary said that Sal is working on next week's prank which is going to be ''Mr. Gilbunny... John Gilbunny.'' The kid on the phone asked what channel he's on with XM. Howard said that he's not sure about that. Gary said that they're on 100. Howard said that it's an adventure to find what channel they're on.
The kid wasn't in school so Howard asked him why that was. The kid was out on the West Coast and said that he listens to the show before he goes to school.
JD came in and said that the fake name on Regis was ''Fon Del Myjunk.'' He had the clip to play so they went through that and got a laugh when Regis said ''Fon Del Myjunk.''
Ralph called in and asked Howard to play the Sal prank again because it's so bad it's funny. Howard said that he had to get out of there and didn't want to do that. Sal said that did something funny last year at an airport. Howard played some of that but it was hard to hear. He ended up replaying the ''Nick Gerz'' thing again instead. Howard said that Sal was so happy hearing that call. Howard said he doesn't endorse that kind of thing. Artie said that he thinks that it's too easy.
Robin had a story about the woman who gave birth to octuplets. She has a publicist now and she's going out and doing damage control for her by talking about what a great mother she is. Howard said it's unbelievable that she already had 6 kids and went out and had even more.
Robin read a story about Etta James being upset about her song being sung by Beyonce during the Obama inaugural ball. Robin had some audio of her going off on Beyonce. Howard said that Beyonce singing that song shows that she's a fan. Howard said that she's probably just bitter that she didn't make any money. Howard said that she seems like a very bitter person based on that clip.
Robin read a story about Valentine's day and how women are willing to give up other things just to have a nice Valentine's day. Artie said that he agrees with that.
Greg said that he got a gig in Springfield, Massachusetts on Valentine's Day so he had to ask his wife permission to go do that. She told him to do it based on the kind of money he's making but they have to go out the night before to celebrate Valentine's day. Howard asked Sal if he got his wife anything for Valentine's Day. Sal said that she already bought herself a gift. Sal said that he's waiting to see what the bill is going to be. He has no idea what she bought for herself.
Robin read some more news about Valentine's day and how the spending will drop off by about 25 percent this year.
Robin read a story about a woman who was accused of running her husband over with her car. She was denied another trial. Robin said that she thinks that she rolled over him and then backed up and rolled over him again.
Robin read that the FCC has gotten involved with the Comcast incident out in Arizona with the porn clip being played during the Super Bowl. The cable company was Cox cable so Howard and Artie were laughing like Beavis and Butt-Head when they heard that. Artie said that he thinks that the Mets named that cable company. Fred ended up playing the Mets theme song which made Artie laugh his ass off.
Robin said that Comcast is offering people a $10 credit for that porn clip issue. Artie told Fred to keep that Mets song cued up for any fight he has with Gary.
Robin read some news about how tough things are going to be if they have to get out of Manhattan in an emergency. Howard said that he will figure a way out somehow. He said he'll float on Ronnie's back if he has to. Robin said that there's a book out called ''Emergency'' where the author talks about buying a dingy van and keeping a dinghy in it to float across the Hudson to get out of Manhattan. Howard wondered where in New York you can leave a van. Robin said that you could use a parking garage near the river. Greg said that you should just have a storage unit and keep the boat in there, you don't need a van.
Robin read a story about a toddler that froze to death in Upstate New York. She got out of the house and wandered off about half a mile from the home. Greg said that was a pleasant story. Artie asked him to figure out a way to make fun of that story.
Robin read some news about President Obama. Howard got in some plugs for Greg in the middle of the news. Greg said that there's nothing like a dead 3 year old story and then the plug for the comedian. Robin said that they did get in that President story in between.
Robin read some more news about some of these corporations that are still giving huge bonuses to their management even though they're taking bail out packages from the government.
Melrose Larry Green called in to talk about Etta James and how she didn't write that song she was complaining about. Melrose said that he's got a whole new act now and he's down in Florida hanging out with Jackie Mason. Howard hung up on Melrose as he was about to say something about David Brenner.
Robin read some more news about the President going after these corporations that are giving out these bonuses and taking bail out money.
Robin had some news about Bernie Madoff and a guy who was warning the government about the guy since 2001. The SEC ignored the warnings and it went on for years.
Robin read a story about a guy who got divorced from his wife and thought he had a bunch of money with Madoff but now he's found he's lost it. Robin said that they're finding more people who were ripped off and there were a bunch of celebrities who lost a lot of money.
Robin read a story about Natalie Cole needing a kidney transplant. She's looking for one and hopes to have one soon. Howard said it would be funny if Artie donated some of his liver to her. Robin told him that would be nice but she needs a kidney.
Robin said that the trend of women blowing up their breasts to ridiculous sizes is back. She said that there's a woman who has the record of having the biggest breasts of a 38-KKK cup size. Robin said that she was at a gallon of silicone before she got the new implants.
Robin read some news about Britney Spears trying to take her kids out on tour with her. Kevin Federline is saying that they haven't made an arrangement yet. They're still working on that.
Robin read that P-Diddy is in the news again. Robin said that he was supposed to co-host a party on Monday night but when he arrived the cops were searching everyone going into the club and he asked why they were disrespecting him. He ended up leaving when he was told he would be searched before going in. Howard ended the show a short time later, right around 10:35am.
Jon said he was surprised to see Artie there after what they did this morning. Artie said that Gary saying that he was dead to him was such a producer thing to do. Gary said that he didn't think that they had made up like Howard said they did.
Artie said that he came in mad this morning and he said some stuff that he didn't mean. Gary asked how he's supposed to know he didn't mean them. Artie said that's just him. He said that he's like David Nivin in the Pink Panther, it's all a lie.
Gary said that Will was one of the only guys who had the balls to come in and say stuff about Artie. The other guys might say stuff to him and they didn't want to come in and talk about it.
Artie and Gary got back into a little bit of an argument while they were talking about some of the interns. Artie had asked about ''the black intern'' and Gary called him ''black John'' and said that he was just joking about that name when something else came up about a Jewish intern who was in the studio at the time.
Artie said that he thinks that their relationship had changed after the Afghanistan trip and he thinks that he's justified in being upset with Gary about what he said on the show yesterday.
Gary said that he really doesn't believe a lot of what Artie says. Artie said that he has to get off of that because he's never done anything to him to screw him over by lying.
Gary said that Artie lying about why he doesn't come to work is one thing that bothers him. Artie said that if Howard told him to stop with that he'd probably stop doing it. He said that Howard loves that stuff when he doesn't come in and falls asleep on the show. Artie was basically blaming Howard for all of that because he's not cracking down on him not coming in and falling asleep on the show.
Artie said that he doesn't really give a fuck if Gary thinks that he's hurting the show. Gary said he's not hurting the show, he's just disrespecting it. Gary said the weird thing is that it actually helps the show sometimes.
Artie said that a caller made a good point and said that Artie should be more mad at Ralph than he is at Jon and Gary. Artie said that he doesn't give a fuck about what Ralph thinks. He said that he and Ralph probably won't stay friends after the show ends. He said that they can aggravate each other so easy. He said that they're up and down all the time and he's not going to be a friend with him on a permanent level.
Gary said he didn't think that he said that Artie lied about ''everything'' but Artie said he heard him say that. He said that really hit him harder than the other stuff. Artie said that casual listeners think that he's lying about everything and that's just not true.
Artie said that they're living in a crazy world there. He said that Gary didn't even come to him with the spilled Hi-C in the studio. Gary said that he was afraid to come to him about that off the air.
Gary and Artie went back and forth on that stuff for a few minutes. Jon asked Artie about the lying thing and said that he lied about the drugs for a long time. He asked Artie if he understands how that hurts his credibility about other things. Artie asked him to name something that he's lied about that didn't have to do with drugs. Jon said that he'd have to think about that.
Artie said that the lies are usually about the drug thing. He said he's ashamed that he's a drug addict and that's why he lies about that stuff. He said that you lie to the cops when you get pulled over and that's what he's looking at this like.
Benjy said that he knows that there must be people there who lie about cheating on their wives. He said it's just based on statistics.
Artie said that he might think less of someone's character if they lie about that but it doesn't make him think that he lies about everything.
Artie told the guys that he lied about the therapist thing because he feared for his job. Gary said that they wouldn't fire him over that though. He doesn't have to lie about something like that. Artie said he doesn't know that for sure though.
Artie was also saying that he's afraid that if he leaves the show for a month to do rehab, they might have someone sit in on the show and replace him. Gary said that they're not going to do that. Gary said that they had 50 guys sit in for Jackie after he left and none of them were as funny as Artie. Gary said ''Sorry Jimmy Kimmel'' after saying that.
Jon played the clip from yesterday where Gary was talking about Artie's urine purchase and saying that he wasn't sure he could trust him. Gary did say that Artie ''lies about everything'' in that clip so Artie was right about that.
After the clip Artie said that was fucked up. He said he knows that he's said some stuff about people that's fucked up too though. Gary said that he was surprised that he said that.
Artie said that the joke he told the Rolling Stone reporter was just that, a joke. He said that she's being a cunt by telling them that it was a lie. He called her a cunt about 10 times in that conversation. Then Benjy, for an unknown reason, yelled out ''Lets rape the cunt!'' Artie said he never said anything about rape.
Artie said that Gary was saying that he lies about everything and that's such a blanket statement and it's just wrong. Gary said that's the way he feels but that's just him talking. Artie asked him to tell him to tell him another time that he's lied to him that didn't have anything to do with the drug thing. Gary didn't have anything.
Gary asked Artie what he would do if he were on the other side there. Artie asked Gary if he has ever lied to a boss about a drug thing. Gary said that he's never really been in that position. Artie said that Gary has lied to his boss before and he doesn't think that he's lying about everything. Artie said that he's just not going to take it anymore. Gary said that's fine but he's entitled to his opinion.
Gary said that it's not as cut and dry as Artie thinks it should be. Gary asked Artie who lies the most out of the people in the studio. Artie said that he has no idea. Artie said that he doesn't know if he went to see the shrink for 4 months and didn't tell them. Gary said that's the point, he doesn't get why he thinks that they should know when he's lying about stuff.
Benjy yelled out ''Cunt reporter'' a few times and Artie said that he's never funny on this show. There was no reason for the outburst.
Artie said that there's no reason for them to talk about his lies on the show. Artie said that they could just say that he's joking around or something like that. Will was talking about the comments he made about Artie yesterday and told Artie that he really doesn't know him at all and he doesn't know if he's funny or not.
Jon said that Artie makes a living being funny and that's different than the rest of the guys. Artie said that he's judging them because they're coming into his world of comedy when they try to be funny. Gary said that they're not trying to be Artie. Artie said he knows that.
Benjy mentioned the ''cunt reporter'' thing again and Gary said that he was going to punch him in the head if he said it again. Jon told him to stop with that. Benjy couldn't believe they were getting so upset over that.
Greg Fitzsimmons came in and went into his thoughts on the lying thing. Greg said that they had to define the lie.
Artie said that what he says on the radio show he's doing to be entertaining. He said it's retarded to be offended by it. Gary said that Artie did talk about going to the shrink during commercial breaks, off the air, so that's stuff he's talking about to them off the air. Artie said that he went to the shrink twice and the guy told him some stuff that he used in those conversations.
Greg said some stuff about Artie and Gary got lost in what he was saying and told him he had no idea what he was talking about. Greg said that a lie vs. comedic license is different. He said that if Artie is lying off the air then that's something else.
Artie said that the stuff he does on the air they can't take seriously. He said that he's never done anything to any of his friends off the air to hurt them. Will asked him about the wedding and said that he had to have been lying to him about the reasons for that. Artie told him not to go there because he really didn't want to drink back then. Will thought that he may have been on heroin at the time. Artie told him that he doesn't want to comment on stuff like that because he has no idea what he's talking about and he's going to go to a place he doesn't want to go.
Jon asked Artie about what he said about it being Howard's fault for letting him get away with all of this stuff he does. Artie said that's what he's basically saying. He said that as long as he can get away with that stuff, he's going to keep doing it.
Gary said that Greg was basically saying that the last time he was on the show too. Greg said that's not really what he was saying and explained to Gary what he was saying that time. Greg said that he never said that Artie should be able to get away with it, he said that they just have standards for Artie there that the rest of the guys may not have.
Gary was saying that he remembered Greg saying some stuff about working on a show one time where he didn't care about showing up late. Greg said that he wasn't saying it the way Gary made it sound and defied him to show him that on tape.
Artie ended up calling Gary some names saying that he was stupid after he asked him a simple question that he wasn't answering.
That led to them talking to Benjy showing up late to work and how he's come close to being fired. Greg and Artie said that he hasn't been fired because it's all up to Howard. Greg said that Howard keeps Artie around because he's providing something that they need. Artie said that he doesn't show up late all the time either. He said that he doesn't really get to do ''anything'' that he wants. Jon said that he was contradicting himself with that and just said that it was up to Howard and if he asked him to stop he would.
Artie said that he does his job there and misses a show once in a while. Artie said that he doesn't go to the Tuesday meetings anymore and Howard doesn't even care about that because it doesn't change the way he does his job on the air.
Artie said that they're making it sound like he's out of work all the time like half the year or something. Gary said that they're not saying that at all. Artie said that they keep the fuck up around who does good work instead of the good guy who will show up to work every single day on time.
Greg said that there are two levels that Gary isn't happy with Artie on. He said that one is personal and the other is concern for Artie. Gary said that he doesn't think that Artie knows that.
Artie said that Gary hasn't come to him about his thoughts on him disrespecting the show either. Gary said that he's not sure that's his business to say anything like that. It's up to Howard to do that.
Artie said that he has lost jobs before because of being so self destructive. Greg said that Artie is miserable and he's not getting off on not showing up to work. Artie said that he has been miserable for the past 20 years.
Gary said that he isn't Artie's boss in any way. He can't tell him what to do or fire him or anything like that. He said that he has never told Artie what to do before.
Artie said that Gary was the guy, in the first couple of years working there, that he spoke to about everything. He said that he wishes that they could go back to those days when it was so much simpler.
Artie said he knows that it's all Howard's call after being there so long. Artie said that Howard has told him to go to a shrink but he hasn't even called that guy yet.
Artie said that the bottom line is that he's a miserable fuck and he doesn't like being that way. He said that he's just not a happy guy. He said that a lot of people in his personal life have had to deal with that too. Jon asked him what would make him happy. Artie said he doesn't know. If he did know, he'd do it.
Artie said that he's making good money doing what he does but the rest of his life is just a complete mess. He said that his health, depression, drug addiction, loneliness... it's all a mess.
Jon said that Gary really cares about Artie on a personal level and that's why he gets so upset about this stuff. Artie said that it must be the same for him then and that's why he got so pissed at what Gary said about him yesterday.
Greg told Artie that he won't feel better until he gets sober. Artie said that he would have killed to do a roast when he was working as a cab driver and doing comedy gigs while he left his cab outside. He said that last year he blew off a roast for a good friend of his and he gets depressed about that stuff.
Artie said that he could put a spin on his career and say that he did pretty well with his career but he really wanted to be a Jim Carrey or an Adam Sandler by this time in his life.
Benjy asked Artie if there's something that happened in his life that he's really upset about. Artie said that there is something but he doesn't want to talk about it on the air because it's going to affect other people that he doesn't want it to.
Artie told a story about doing a show with Greg and a couple of other comedians like Ray Romano right before Romano got his TV show. Artie said that he remembers asking Ray about his TV show and Ray said he didn't like the name of it and wanted to puke over it. Ray thought he sucked on the show and everything sucked. Artie said that all comedians think that stuff sucks but now he's a billionaire. He said that if they asked Ray about it now he'd probably still think that it all sucked. Artie said that Dave Attell is a miserable guy too.
Gary said that Jackie would always tell him about why shows were going to suck on the weekends when he'd do them. He said that he was always negative about that stuff.
Artie said that you end up not knowing what you want anymore after being on the road for so long. Artie said that he remembers thinking that he didn't want to be as negative as Ray Romano was back then but now he realizes that he's more negative than he ever would be.
Ralph called in and asked Artie what the story was that he wasn't talking about. Artie said that he'll call him tonight and he can call Howard with the story.
Ralph said that he explained on the air what he said about Artie not wanting him to go to Afghanistan and he thought that Gary understood that. Gary said that he doesn't even blame Ralph for that but he wasn't able to get that stuff out of his head.
Ralph said that Artie shouldn't be making people figure out what are lies and what's not lies. Artie said that it's hard to put that stuff aside and separate it.
Artie said that there's a lot of grey areas with what goes on with the show. Ralph said that people aren't sure about a lot of things when Artie is telling stories and stuff. Ralph said that all that matters is that Artie is telling entertaining stories. Artie said that Howard kind of encourages the stories and stuff on the air.
Jon said that he could see the smile on Howard's face this morning and he really loves the fights and stuff like that. Artie said that Howard can even create great radio with the bits that he's rejected. He said that's what happened with the Sal thing where he had the woman saying ''Nick Gerz.'' Artie said that Sal will push that envelope again in the future because he knows that Howard will probably give it attention.
Ralph said that this stuff really has to do with Howard letting them get away with it. The guys talked about that a little more and Artie had theories on all of what was going on there. He said that Howard does stuff that they'd never call him out on but if someone else does it, they'll call them out on it. He used Gary picking up Howard's toothpicks that Howard leaves laying around.
Artie said that when David Brenner was in with his age thing no one said anything about Howard's nose job. Artie said that they all knew that Howard had a nose job but they never said anything to him. They all thought in their heads that he had a nose job. Artie said he didn't have the balls to say anything about it but he used to have a hook nose and it was obvious that he had something done to it.
The guys were going over the same stuff again with the Artie lying about everything comment. Benjy wanted to know why they didn't have a problem with Howard lying about never having plastic surgery. He lied about the nose job for 7 years and eventually came out with it until they did the revelation show. Artie said that Howard did that to protect himself. That's what Artie thinks he was doing when he's lying about his drug stuff.
Gary said that he's had thoughts about Artie being in a really bad place over the years and he was wondering if they should do something. Howard always says that there's nothing they can do and they shouldn't have to do anything.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves Artie. He said that he's noticed that Artie brings up money when he gets mad. He was also thinking that there may be some truth to Artie being upset with Gary going to Afghanistan. The guy also asked why they don't have someone sit in for Artie when he doesn't show up. Gary said that he can't have someone waiting to show up some morning when Artie calls in sick.
Artie said that Howard might feel the need to interview a stranger that sits in on the show and that's not what he's going to want to do. He was also saying that he didn't mention money when he threw stuff at Sal.
Gary said that the money thing was a weird thing to throw out there this morning. Artie said that he knows how much Gary makes but Gary said that he doesn't even know that he knows that for sure. Artie said that he saw his check and he knows. Artie also said that he makes about 50 grand less than Gary makes. Gary said he doesn't know that to be true either.
Gary asked Artie if he could get the road gigs that he has if he didn't work there. Artie said that he'd probably be driving a cab if he wasn't working there. He said that he ''has to'' fly out and do shows to make money. Gary asked him if he really ''has to'' do that. Artie said that he can quadruple his paycheck by doing that and asked Gary if he would do that if he had the chance. The guys had to go to break but Howard was outside the studio watching them like a kid watching an ant farm according to Will. They went to break a short time later.
Benjy said that Gary looked like he was going to cry. Gary said that he wasn't going to cry. Gary went on to say that he and Artie may have to start over again.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary seems to be jealous of Artie's freedom there. Gary said that he's not jealous of that. He said that the rules have pretty much been the same for everyone except for Artie.
Another caller said that he had an answer for Artie's riddle earlier in the show when he asked Gary who he should fire, the guy who shows up late and is a good writer or a guy who is a bad writer and doesn't show up late. The guy said that the right answer is that you fire both of them for performance issues.
Another caller went off on Gary calling him some names. That guy was the last caller since they had run out of time already. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over by 10:20am.