|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about some stuff he saw in the newspaper. He said he doesn't follow football but the Jets have this young guy who he thinks will get better as the season goes on. Howard said he's got a lot of pressure on him and he might get better. He said that sometimes it takes time for them to find a new superstar. Robin agreed with him there and talked about some past guys they had who didn't do so well in their first seasons.
Artie blamed the coach for the Jets loss this weekend. He said it's like late night TV and you have to give the guy time. Robin asked how it is that every game is a cliff hanger. She said every game seems to be that way. Howard said it must be controlled by the government. Just like the pizza boxes that Sal was talking about last week.
Howard said he caught some of the game when Scott Greenstein told him that the new SIRIUS commercial was going to be running. He said he had to tune in to see that. Howard said he thought the commercial was good. He said they produced it in house and didn't go to an ad agency. He said the games are cliff hangers and people watch that stuff live so it's the best time to run a commercial.
Gary said that he fast forwards through the games sometimes when he watches it on TiVo and he might pause the game to go to the bathroom or something. Howard said that's not what most people do and they do have a better shot of someone seeing the commercials live during a live game.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the commercial was great. He said they got it right. They had Elvis, Richard Pryor and Howard Stern in the commercial. Howard said he used to be critical of the commercials in the past but this one was good. He said that the thing is that it's very simple. He said if you're a Howard Stern fan they remind you where he is and that it changed radio. Howard said it's simple and people can follow it. He was very impressed when he saw it for the first time.
The caller said they need to roll out more commercials with Howard in them. He said they need Bubba and a bunch of wack packers in there too. Howard told the guy not to get carried away. He said he heard that they ran it a couple of times and that might be it. He said he's not sure they have a budget to run it more. Howard said they need to run it over and over again to get the message through though.
The caller said they got that commercial right because they showed greatness and got it right with Elvis, Richard Pryor and Howard. Artie asked if they have a Richard Pryor channel there or something. Howard said that was for the comedy channel.
Howard mentioned that someone has pointed out that he says ''The fact of the matter is...'' a lot and it's driving him nuts. He said when someone points that stuff out it drives him crazy. Robin said there's another one he says that she wants to point out. Howard asked her not to do that.
The caller asked Howard about the time he wished cancer on Tom Chiusano... and he eventually got it. He wondered if Howard felt bad about that. Howard said that he's not upset about that because he knows that his words can't give anyone cancer. Howard said he does not believe that and he doesn't feel guilty about it. Howard said it was an outrageous way of saying ''I hope you drop dead.'' Howard said he knows that Jesus isn't going to listen to him when he prays to him to give someone cancer or AIDS or something.
Howard said there was a guy who was outraged that he wished cancer and AIDS on him and his family. Howard said he wanted the guy to drop dead but he knows his words aren't going to give it to him. Howard said he does a 5 hour show every day and sometimes he goes back and thinks about the way he did stuff on the show and there are things he thinks he wouldn't do again. He said he's just winging it and sometimes he doesn't even think about what he's saying.
Howard said he's trying to be funny and compelling for 5 hours a day and he doesn't think it all out sometimes. Robin said there are times when he's surprised that things blow up the way they do. Howard said it's an outrageous thing to say when you wish cancer on someone and it's funny in an outrageous way. Howard said he knows he's not a Shamen who can wish something on someone like that.
The caller said that Howard has talked about how much he liked Tom but when he was working with him he complained about the way he was overseeing his show. Howard said he thinks that Tom had a lot of pressure on him from the company to do certain things. He said Tom had pressure from Mel Karmazin to keep them from losing their license. Howard said Tom had to sit there with the button and how to keep him under control. Howard said he had a lot of pressure on him and his job kind of depended on that. Howard said Mel would threaten to fire Tom if they did lose their license.
Howard said horrible things happened back in those days. They were doing wild things on the show and it got too hot to handle at times.
The caller said Howard told Tom that the company was going to get rid of him and they wouldn't do anything for him. He was right about that. Howard said Tom was destroyed when they left the company and he understood that the morning show carried the rest of the station. Howard said Tom stayed there and worked with David Lee Roth and then Opie and Anthony. He stuck it out for a while after they left.
Howard said it was a different time for them when Tom was working with them. He said the way they do things there at SIRIUS is different so they didn't have a spot for Tom. Howard said he would have liked Tom to come over there but they didn't have anything there for him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the SIRIUS commercial made it seem like Howard might be sticking around there. Howard said that's not a sign and people who look for signs are assholes. Howard said it should help get some subscribers though. He said most of the subscriptions they get are from the car industry and the car industry is in the shitter right now. Howard said it should turn around for them when the car thing turns around.
The caller said that he's going to be in there on Thursday for the trivia challenge show. Howard said that should be fun and hung up on him. Howard took another call from a guy who liked that commercial they ran too. Howard said he thinks it's good and it was a simple reminder that they're there to listen to.
Howard said he has SIRIUS on in his apartment all the time and he loves it. He said he was moving stuff around in the apartment and he loves having it on in the background. Robin said that's what she listens to in her shore house and her car too.
Howard said people think he doesn't pay for his SIRIUS radio but he does. He said he has a Question tuner in his place. Robin said she has a Sonos unit that's great. She told him that's what he needs. Howard said she's right and he's not sure why his guy didn't think of that.
Howard said this guy at a liquor store told him about this wine that was really good and it was the one that Robin suggested called Darioush. Howard said he really liked that stuff and he liked that he kind of knew the guy through Robin.
Howard said he got into drinking wine when he was older and he can really get wasted on just a little bit of the stuff. He said every girl could drink him under the table. Howard said there have been many women who could drink him under the table. Fred played the ''Vodka straight up. Thank you!'' Scores girl clip. Howard said he partied with that girl and she drank him under the table.
Robin said there's a book coming out that one of the owners of Scores is putting out. She said that Howard is in that book. Howard said that's his thank you for going to the club and helping them out all those years. Howard said they gave them so much free advertising and mentions on the show and that's the way the guy is going to pay him back. Howard said he hopes he has positive things to say in that book.
Howard read some more email he got about the SIRIUS commercial. He had a bunch of positive emails about it. The people seemed to love it. Howard said they're just trying to sell radios for the company. He said if they put Hitler in there and that sold radios, he'd be all for it. As long as they're selling radios he's happy.
Howard tried to figure out who else could do what he did. He asked Robin what she thinks and she said nobody. Howard said he thinks that maybe Hannah Montana could do it. Robin asked if he was kidding and laughed at that.
Howard said if Rush Limbaugh left terrestrial radio tomorrow his fans wouldn't buy SIRIUS to hear the guy. Howard said there's plenty of that kind of radio out there and no one needs to pay for that.
Howard said his show is unique and that's why people pay $13 a month to listen. Howard said Oprah has a channel there at XM but she's not bringing in millions of listeners.
Howard said the people at Forbes can't put him on that list every year. That would get boring. Howard said they don't really understand radio. He said they kind of do.
Howard said he was reading about the sale of NBC and he wanted an explanation from someone who thinks that they know. Jon Hein came in and said that Comcast is the buyer and Vivendi owns 20 percent of NBC. He said that they're not the majority. Jon said they have to be a part of the whole deal. Jon said that Comcast just has to say they want it. Howard said they just want the cable operations when they buy it.
Howard said that Jay Leno has destroyed NBC so much that Comcast doesn't even want the network. Howard said they're losing football next year. He said Comcast doesn't want the network, they just want the cable channels like USA, Bravo, MSNBC and things like that. Jon said that they don't care about the network. He said NBC could just disappear.
The caller asked if Oprah is on NBC. Howard said her show is syndicated. He said she could be on some NBC stations.
Howard said when Forbes puts out a list of powerful people in media they have to put him on the list. Howard said that CBS owns a lot of properties that are worthless now that he's no longer on them. Howard said that when he leaves a station he's going to leave them in a shambles. Howard said there is no one else as powerful as him in media.
The caller told Howard that Katie Couric is a powerful player in media. Howard said that's outrageous. Howard said she isn't powerful at all because no one followed her to CBS when she moved there. Howard said he thinks that Jay Leno might be the most powerful because he's managed to single handedly ruin NBC.
Howard said it's been him for the last 20 years and no one is more powerful than him. The caller said they have number 2 as the chairman of the FCC. Howard said he agrees there's power there but he can't create business. Howard said when they talk about powerful people that's ridiculous. The caller said Oprah is on the list too. Howard said she is powerful but if they took her off TV today and put her on satellite radio only, no one would subscribe. Robin said she might disagree with that.
Howard said Oprah is visually interesting to look at with the guests she has on her show. Howard said that doesn't translate to radio. Howard said he has to paint the picture for his fans and Oprah is as capable on radio as much as Gary the Retard. Howard said she might be powerful with her TV show but that's it. He said she's not more powerful than him. Howard said she can't ruin a company by pulling her show off the network. Howard said that's what he did with CBS when he left terrestrial radio.
The caller told Howard they also have Osama bin Laden and some drug trafficker on the list of most powerful people. Howard said that's ridiculous. Howard said he knows he's not the most powerful man in the world but in media he is. He said there is no question about that.
Howard said he knows he's the most powerful and that's why he asked Beth how she can go to sleep without blowing him every night. Howard said he wanted to get some feedback about the commercial that ran last night so he went on that awful SternFanNetwork.com last night. He said everyone was talking about how ugly he was. Howard said he can't stand going on that site because of that kind of stuff. Howard doesn't understand that. He said those are supposed to be his fans. The caller said that's not a representation of what his real fans think. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said they're all so full of venom over there.
The caller asked if he could compliment Artie. He said that he got his book and his audio book version of the book and it was one of the funniest books he's ever listened to. He said the stories were really good. Howard said that Bob Levy reading the book was great too. Artie thanked the guy for that. Howard said if Artie put out a shitty book he'd have to kick him off the show.
Howard said the whole thing is going to get out of hand if they have the trial there. Howard said it's going to make people crazy watching it. He said it'll be a huge zoo and people just want to move on with their lives there in New York. Howard said it's going to be chaos and they'll be inspiring more terrorists to blow something up in New York.
Howard said he's really distressed about it. He said that they should have the trial out in Kansas or someplace like that. This city can't handle it. He said they have this small island packed with people and cars and they don't need this there. He said they should put those people in a plane and fly it into a pyramid.
Howard read in the paper that David Letterman's lawyer said that David has not been forced out of the house. He's denying the rumors in the tabloid stories.
Howard said the thing that really caught his eye was a quote from Dave's mother. He said that's a low blow to go to Dave's mom about something like that. He said that's really rough stuff to ask her about. Howard said he'd like to know how Dave is holding up but he's not the right one to make that call.
Howard said he was reading about how Mike Tyson punched a 'papparazzo' and he didn't know that was the correct term for one of those guys. Howard said he's a peace loving guy but he's been around some of these guys and they provoke you to hit them. Howard said Tyson is loose cannon and he's insane so it's not surprising that he popped the guy. Howard said he's been around these guys and they just don't give up. He said they won't let you walk past them if they're taking pictures.
Gary asked Howard if he's ever been the victim of one of those video taking guys. Howard said he has. Gary said he was watching one of the TMZ videos where they taped Erin Andrews getting off a plane and followed her from the plane to the baggage claim area. He said it seems like the followed her for 20 minutes.
Howard said this Erin Andrews was a victim when this guy taped her in her hotel room. Howard said if that was his daughter he'd be livid. Howard said she was standing in the hotel room looking in the mirror and this creep videotaped her and put it on the internet. Howard said that's just really wrong. He said she suffered the embarrassment of the whole thing and now she's got these guys following her around all the time. Howard said she's not looking to be a Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian type. He said those guys just push too hard.
Artie said the problem is that anyone with a video camera can work for TMZ. They just have to call a number when they get tape. Howard said he's told that guy Harvey from TMZ to back off. He said he knows that Harvey wouldn't like it if he had someone on his ass like that all the time. Howard said they've ridiculed women who have been raped. Howard said that if Harvey's daughter was raped and some guy was following her around for 20 minutes with a video camera, he'd be pissed.
Gary said he saw Brad Garrett lose it one time when the papparazzi have followed him around. Howard said he had a good laugh when he heard that Tyson popped the guy. He said they just keep pushing like that and they're going to get hit at some point.
Howard said he loves that Mike Tyson speech where he goes nuts and tells a guy that he's going to fuck him until he loves him. Fred tried to find the clip to play. Gary told Howard where the clip was so he played it. It was a clip of Tyson going off on some reporter and telling him that he was going go fuck him until he loved him and called him a ''faggot.'' Artie got a laugh out of that. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song a little bit. Howard said that really is a good song. Artie said it's a great band. Howard went into his Cousin Brucie impression for a short time after the song ended.
Howard said he had to give a plug to Little Mikey. He writes a lot of song parodies about Robin. He said that he's got a big thing happening. Howard had Mikey on the phone and played one of his song parodies about Robin's jugs. Howard told him it was a brilliant song to use. That was Toto's ''Africa'' that he used. He said he was going to make it about Robin going to Africa but he ended up making it about her jugs instead.
Howard asked Mikey about how he creates his songs and found out he plays guitar on some of them himself. He mixes them all at his home. Mikey lives with his aunt and uncle. He's 35 years old and he just got a job so he can get his own place. Mikey said that he hurt his ankle and wasn't able to walk very well so his aunt and uncle took him in and gave him a place to live.
Howard played another one of Mikey's songs about Robin. It was ''Let Me See Those Big Brown Jugs'' to the tune of a Van Halen song. Howard said he brings so much joy to people every day. Howard asked him if he's ever going to do a concert. Mikey said on Tuesday he's going to be doing something. He took a comedy class at Caroline's. Artie got a laugh out of that. He asked who taught him. Mikey said it was Linda Smith.
Mikey said he's going to be doing some stand-up at Caroline's on Tuesday. Mikey said that he had 6 weeks of training but it was just one day a week. Mikey said that it was $395 for the six classes. Artie kept laughing when the details were coming out about the comedy classes.
Howard played another one of Mikey's song parodies ''Cum On My Jeans'' and asked Mikey about what he'll be doing at the comedy show. He also found out that he's going to have a song featured on one of the Red Peters albums. Howard played another one of his songs ''Wanted In Her Vagine'' too.
Howard said Little Mikey wanted to mention that the new Red Peters collection is out and he's doing this stand-up thing on Tuesday. Mikey said they're making a DVD of it so he'll send over a copy. Gary said he heard that Mikey has to wait for his aunt and uncle to leave before he can record his stuff. Mikey said that's true. He said they don't like hearing the lyrics to those songs.
Mikey got in a plug for his web site LittleMikeyOnline.com too. Howard let him go after that.
Lisa got to her news preview and read about Robin's helping out on a new charity. She had some details about this ''Girl Fund'' that she's involved with. Howard said he got some notes about this whole thing and he has no idea what it is. Robin said it's hard to explain what it is.
Howard said that Robin is doing this thing for that guy who was in there one day. He said that she's doing it for her vagine. Robin said that's not it at all. Artie started to laugh at that with his ''guy who laughs at everything'' character. Robin told him to stop it. Artie kept laughing at her and her crazy stuff. He said he was just kidding though.
Lisa said that Robin is going to go to one of these third world countries to see what's going on. Robin said he's going to Guatemala. She said she's going with some people and she won't be going alone. Howard and Artie told her that it was very dangerous to do that. Robin had turned around in India the one time she went there. She came right home as soon as she could.
Howard told Robin she's out of her mind to be going to Guatemala. He said that she's going to see the most horrible things down there and she won't enjoy going there. She said she knows he won't like it but she's prepared this time. Howard tried talking her out of it but Robin is going. She said she's going to see the project they're working on there where they're working on teaching young girls there. She said that they have to do that so the women can have lives. Howard said that they have the highest murder rate down there in that country and she shouldn't be going. Robin didn't seem to care about all of that.
Howard said he would never go to that country. He said he reads the newspaper about what goes on down there. He said that's one of those places he's going to stay away from based on the stuff he's read. Howard asked Robin what she's going to eat down there. She said that they have plenty of fruits and vegetables down there. Howard said they're probably covered in feces. He told her not to drink the water down there either.
A caller told Robin that she's nuts and he doesn't get why she can't admit it when she does something so weird. Robin didn't know what was so weird about this. Howard read some news stories about what happens to people down there when they go to visit. He read about one thing where some tourists were attacked with machetes. He said that there were some people who have been kidnapped and stuff like that. Howard said he can't read that stuff because it makes him sick to his stomach. Howard said he has to talk to her off the air about this stuff.
The caller told Howard he has to get rid of that ''Geektime'' show that the guys are doing. He said that it's the pussification of America when they do that show. He told Howard to keep all of the faggots out of the creative meetings because they're doing too much gay shit on the show.
Another caller told Robin she's out of her mind going down there to Guatemala. He said that it's a horrible part of the country for someone like Robin to visit. Robin said it's good to get out of your comfort zone sometimes.
The caller said he's seen people robbed and left with nothing down there. He told Robin that not speaking the language isn't going to help her. He said he visits there and at least he knows the language.
Howard said he had some friends that wanted to see what the black neighborhood was like when he was living there. He said they'd get back into the house after 20 minutes of going out and seeing what it was like at night. He said that's what it's going to be like for Robin down there.
Howard said Robin won't be going down there. Robin said she is. She said she'll bring her green drinks with her so she doesn't have to eat. Howard said that she's not going.
The caller said that the country is so poor that if you have anything material you stand out like a sore thumb. He said they make shoes out of tires down there because they have so little. Howard read a note from the US Embassy down there where they warn visitors what to avoid there. They tell people to avoid crowds of aggravated people and other things like that. Howard asked Robin if he hears what he's saying. Robin said she won't be going to any good areas to see how they live. She thinks that it will broaden her perspective on things. Howard told her that Guatemalan's sneak into Mexico to live. The caller said he's right about that. That's how bad things are down there.
Robin said she has been to South America before. Gary thought she had left there really quick too. Robin said she went to Venezuela once but that was for a vacation and it didn't work out. Howard told her that she might have to write her second book about what it's like to have larva living in her head. Robin got a laugh out of that.
Howard had Eddie the Produce guy on the phone. Eddie is Guatemalan and said that his cousins own some radio stations down there. He told her that there are going to be a million kids asking for money down there. He said they don't want coins either, they want dollars.
Howard asked Lisa what else she had. Lisa asked Howard if he's going to the charity event that Robin is going to. Howard said he doesn't even know what it is. Robin told Howard about how they came up with the whole thing and how she and this guy she brought on the show the one time set it up. Howard asked if she has ever slept with the guy. Robin said she hadn't but she was smiling in a way that made Howard think she was lying. Robin said she's not lying.
Howard said he doesn't want to go to this thing because he's out on Long Island on Wednesday. Robin said she was going to talk to him off the air about it. Howard said he's not going but he will send her money if that's what she's after.
Dominic Barbara told Robin that it's a major place for kidnapping so she shouldn't go. He asked Howard if he would go down there in exchange for Robin. Howard said of course not. Dominic is going to the charity event. He said that the kidnapping thing is a real threat down there. Howard said he just read that in the UN warning.
Howard took another call from a guy who told them to get Robin on a lie detector about all of this. Howard thanked him for that but the guy wanted to play a game. Howard said he could do that later but not right now.
Jeff the Drunk called in to pay his final respects to Robin. He said it was a pleasure knowing her. Robin said she won't be going there until the spring.
Another caller said Robin is known for doing stuff out of her element and that's what this is. Howard asked what he's supposed to do about it. Howard asked if he could forbid her from going. The caller said he can't do that. Howard said someone has to intervene there. He said she can do stuff there in this country and not go to another country to help. Robin said she does help out here too.
Lisa mentioned that Jon Hein and Gary will be doing a show tonight on Howard 101 about sports and stuff like that. She said the show is called ''Gary and Jon Touch 'Em All.''
Howard let Lisa go and took a call from a guy who asked if she's going to breast feed some kids like Salma Hayek did down there. Robin said she could do that. Howard said Salma really did that one time. He said she whipped out a tit and fed some starving kid. Robin said she is thinking about going down there but this broadside attack isn't helping.
Another caller said Robin is fuckin' insane. He said that the 5 star hotels are the first places they target. Robin said she's going to be out in the woods. The caller told her she's out of her mind and she must have some kind of death wish. He said it's times like this that make him think that Beetlejuice makes sense.
Howard said that as long as they were talking about Beetlejuice he had to mention the show ''This is Beetle'' that's on Howard TV this month. They talked about that show for a couple of minutes. Howard said that whole thing with Robin really threw him off and he may have to go home early.
Howard and Gary told Robin that they're not going to make it to the charity event this week. Gary said he'll send some money but he doesn't think that he can afford a painting from the charity.
Gary said he was reading about the attacks that happen down in Guatemala and how they have had some sexual attacks as well as the robberies and stuff. Gary said that's what scares him.
Howard said he'll buy one of these paintings and then donate it somewhere else. Robin said it's a cocktail party and it's not like it's a big investment of time. Howard said he knows that but he's got other things going on. Howard said he bets that the paintings are all of Robin's breasts. He said that he had a bunch of stuff to talk about today and this whole thing threw him off. He said this was mind blowing. He said he never would have known about this without the news department.
Gary said that everyone was acting like Sherlock Holmes with this whole charity thing. He said that everyone saw who it was and asked if it was the guy she brought up to the studio a few weeks ago. They were right. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said he had Gary Garver on the phone to talk about something he was doing on the internet. Howard said he likes Gary a lot but he's completely lost. He said that Gary was talking shit about him on some internet show.
Howard said they fired Gary from his freelance job where he went out and interviewed people. Howard said Gary's feelings are hurt and he went out and talked about him and he really resents the stuff he said. Howard said he said some horrible things about him. Gary said he didn't say anything horrible.
Howard told Gary he was going to let him talk about the way he feels. Gary said he loves Howard but he does feel bad about the way they fired him. He said that he worked with them for 18 years. Gary told Howard to tell the truth about this.
Howard said Gary said he was angry about the way they didn't get on the air and talk about why they fired him. Howard said the reason he did that was because generally in that business it's not a good thing to be fired. Howard said out of respect to Gary he didn't mention it on the air. Howard said he loves Gary and he felt the nice thing to do was not to go on the air and talk about why he was fired. Howard said he didn't want to go on and say that he was out of control so that's why he was fired. Howard wanted him to go on with his life and not worry about that.
Gary said he has gone on with his life and he's been fired for a year and a half now. Howard said he thinks that Gary should be hired by another station but Gary says he can't be hired by anyone. He said that no one will hire him now.
Garver said that everyone thinks that he lived in New York and he was a big part of the show but he was never there. Howard said they never said that Gary was there in New York. Gary said he was periodically on the show and that was it.
Howard said he wasn't going to go on the air and talk about him being fired. He said he didn't want to hurt Gary. He told him he was trying to help him. Gary said it didn't work because he can't get hired anywhere.
Howard said Gary was on this internet show talking about him and he had some clips of that to play. Garver was saying that Howard ruined his career. Howard said he didn't ruin his career. Gary said he went out and busted his ass on those interviews. Howard said he knows that, he loves what he did for them. Garver said that he went on for 30 minutes on that show and he knows that Howard isn't going to play it all. Howard played a little more of it and Garver was saying that everyone in the radio business hates Howard's guts. He said that's why he can't get a job.
Garver said that everyone in radio is jealous of Howard and that's why they won't hire him. Howard played more of the audio of Garver going off on him and he was talking about what happened to him and told his viewers to tune out if they didn't want to hear it. Gary said he was buried by Howard when he got fired and he never was good enough to hang out with the Howard Stern people. Garver said that Howard takes care of a few people and he doesn't take care of everyone like people think.
Howard said they worked with Garver on some stuff and they tired to rein him in but things just didn't work out. He said he would never bad mouth Gary on the air and that thing he's looking at as a snub wasn't a snub at all.
Garver said that he put his ass on the line every time he went out and did interviews. He said that no one liked him and what he was doing and he was hated by everyone. Howard said he thinks he did a really good job. He said he thinks that Garver's gripe with him is that he didn't announce that he was fired. Garver said when the interview went down a year and a half ago he was just trying to get some material for the show. Howard said he knows that but he fucked up a few too many times.
Gary said he was being sabotaged by someone and he tried to walk away from it all. He said this guy was trying to get him thrown out of red carpet events and he confronted him that one time and he got suspended for a month. Howard said he was trying to keep him working for them. He said that he didn't want him to get hurt or anyone else to get hurt. He said that Gary could have gotten hurt or he could have hurt someone else. Gary said he did that for 18 years and no one ever got hurt.
Howard said he just wanted to let Gary get his thoughts out on this. Gary said he wasn't done with this stuff because he wanted to talk about this show ''A Day in the Life'' that he says Doug Goodstein stole from him. He said that it was a concept he came up with to follow a porn star around for a day while taping it. He said that he came up with the porn star part of that.
Howard said Gary didn't come up with the concept. He said that following a porn star around with a camera isn't a new concept. Howard said that they have people come to him with concepts that they're already doing all the time.
Gary told Howard he wanted to talk about this without being cut off. He and Howard were cutting each other off but then they were telling each other how much they love each other.
Gary went on to tell Howard that he and Doug Goodstein were talking about doing ''A Day in the Life'' and the show never aired but Doug took it and went out and did this thing with the Wack Packers and used the same name. Doug Goodstein came in and asked who they did that show with. Gary said it was with Miss Howard Stern. Doug said they never did it with a porn star. He said that Gary is out of his mind.
Howard and Doug asked what it was that they did where they stole the ideas. Gary said they did something with the Wack Packers. He said he had the whole thing registered in the Library of Congress. Doug said they didn't do what Gary says they did but they've been doing stuff similar to it for years. He said that it's like doing a documentary or a reality show. Howard asked Gary if he ever saw the day in the life of Ozzy Osbourne. Howard said he came up with that idea. Howard said he went to Ozzy and told him that he should be followed around with a camera and they went out and did that. Howard said he could claim that he came up with every reality show.
Gary Dell'Abate came in and asked Gary why he called Doug a little Jew in the internet show he was doing. Garver said he never said that. Gary insisted he did so Howard played some more audio from that show where Garver threatened to beat Doug up if he sees him again. He said he'd take that little Jew bastard and choke him.
Howard said that they looked some stuff up on the internet and on MTV they did a ''Day in the Life of Nelly.'' He said that he can't be taking credit for coming up with that concept.
Howard said Gary's complaint is that he didn't come on the air and say that he was dismissed. Howard said he's doing that right now. Howard said he happens to like Gary and he was trying to protect him.
Garver asked Howard if he can use him as a reference now. Howard said he could have done that all along. Garver laughed. He said that he was keeping it secret the whole time too. He said he wasn't sure if he was allowed to talk about it. He said he wanted to come back and work for them and he was staying in touch with Tim Sabean all along.
Gary Dell'Abate told Garver that they had to warn him about a couple if incidents and they gave him parameters to stay within and he didn't do it. He said one time he got into an argument with a security guard and that's the kind of stuff they were worried about. He said that Garver would get into arguments with people like that and they were worried that he was going to get into a fight.
Gary said they told Garver to walk away and not provoke people. Garver said he did walk way. Gary said that he didn't walk away because he ended up wishing a gay man got AIDS. Garver said he was just defending himself.
Howard said he was shocked by the tirade he went on and he really doesn't want him to be upset. Garver said he's even more upset now. Howard said he wanted to give him an explanation about why he didn't mention it on the air. He said that's what this call was about. Howard said Gary seems comfortable going around talking about it on these shows now so that's fine and he'll talk about it.
Garver said that Howard was the one who opened up the can of worms with the whole Johnny Fratto and the Tourettes guy going out and doing the interviews. Garver said they won't find someone who can do what he did or what Stuttering John did. Howard said he doesn't have to be mad at the other guys. Gary said he's not mad at them.
Garver asked Howard why he didn't go to bat for him. Howard said he did go to bat for him a bunch of times. He said that they required a certain sensitivity and Gary didn't have that. Howard said he loved the interviews Gary did for them but when someone asks him to leave he just has to leave. He said it's not that important to argue over it.
Howard said he'd rather error on the wrong side and be safe than let him go on and get hurt. Howard said they had to fire him and they thought it would be best to keep it quiet. Gary said he thought he would be able to work for them again some day so that's why he kept it quiet too. Howard said he saw how out of control things were getting and he wanted to talk to him on the air about it.
Garver said he thought that he was going to get the chance to come back to the show. He said that he heard that Howard didn't want him back. Howard said he would love to have him back but he's not sure he can. Garver said he was just doing an act for the guy he wished AIDS on. He said he wasn't really threatening the guy. Garver said he knows he made a mistake but even Michael Vick got a second chance. Howard said there were other, previous, things that they were thinking about too. He said that they just didn't want anyone to get hurt.
Garver said that's fine and they have every right to keep him from working for him. He said that he knows that Howard's name is precious to him and he wouldn't want to hurt him. Howard said he would recommend Gary to other people to work for. He said that he doesn't know if he'd do that with the interviewing part but as a worker he's great.
Garver said he's gone out and done interviews on his own and he's never had a problem. He said he was just trying to get material for Howard and that's that. He said after 6 or 7 times of being kicked out of events he went off on the guy who was behind it. He said the day that Howard announced that Johnny Fratto was doing the interviews he got upset. He said he had a lot of people asking why he wasn't doing the interviews anymore.
Howard said he didn't want to air his dirty laundry on the air and that's it. He said he would have done that if Gary told him to. Garver said that's not true, he said if he had called Gary and told him to tell him to do that, he would have just blown it off.
Garver asked if he could plug his internet TV web site. Howard said he can do that now and he can call in at other times and do the same thing to get some plugs. Garver said you can go to Exscape.TV to check out his stuff. Howard told Gary he loves him and he wishes him all the best. Garver kept talking about why he was upset about the whole thing and Howard kept telling him why he did what he did.
Howard let Gary go and Robin said she still has no idea what that was all about. Howard said he had watched that video over the weekend and he wasn't sure why he was so upset with him either. He said sometimes you just don't know what people want. Howard thought he was protecting the guy but that's not the way Gary saw it. Howard said he thought it might be good for the air today but he really didn't get why he wanted it on the air.
Howard said he's sorry if that bored Robin. Robin said that his points didn't make a lot of sense to her. She said that his ''A Day in the Life'' thing didn't make much sense to her.
Howard said he really wasn't looking to piss Gary off. He felt bad after seeing that video over the weekend. Artie said he saw Gary Garver out in Las Vegas once and he had never seen someone more hung over in his life. He said it was the day after Gary got into a fight with his brother out in Las Vegas. He said it was like seeing Dracula that day and Gary said to him that he looked like shit. Howard said that's when she knew Artie was in trouble back then.
Howard said Gary is a sweet guy and he seemed really pained by the whole thing in that video he watched. He said there were a lot of warnings for Gary and he was really worried about him. He said it may have been too volatile of a situation for the guy.
Artie said that Garver went at the Darth Nihilus guy that one time. Howard said that was actually a great piece of tape. He said Gary has a great body of work that he's done for them. Howard gave him another plug for his web site and wrapped up with that conversation and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he used to have to play that song a million times when he was starting out. He said the song just annoys him though. He said he can see that the guy sings okay but this song is just annoying to him. He said there are some songs that are okay. He said he thought that ''Tom Sawyer'' was 5 minutes and 10 seconds long. Fred said he thinks that it's just 4 and change though. They spent a few minutes talking about Rush and about this song they were listening to. Howard said he might like the song better now that Fred has explained it to him.
Howard said he had a game to play so he could give away some money. He had a guy on the line to try and win the $711 he had to give away thanks to 7-Eleven. Howard told the guy he had the Big Foot Word Pronunciation Game to play. He said they gave Big Foot a list of words to say to find out if he could repeat it. Howard said they gave him the word ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'' and Big Foot wasn't able to say it. He played Big Foot trying to say it as an example for the caller.
Howard said they gave Big Foot the word ''Zoology'' and the caller had to guess if he would get it right. Howard was distracted by the echo on the guy's phone though so he ended up talking about how great his Verizon service is compared to his AT&T service was.
The caller, Vince, guessed that Big Foot would know ''Zoology.'' Big Foot wasn't able to say it. Howard gave Vince another one and it was ''Tijuana.'' Vince said he would know it. He was able to say it so he got that one right. Next up was ''Statistic'' and he wasn't able to say that. Vince had guessed correctly on that one too. Next up was ''Competent'' and Vince guessed no on that. Big Foot was able to get that one though. Next up was ''Voluptuous'' and Vince guessed no on that one. Big foot wasn't able to say it so Vince won the $711.
The guys ended up talking about Italian food for a couple of minutes. Howard was asking Artie what certain Italian foods were and Artie was explaining what they all were. That led to them talking about how people are really into bacon and Gary told Howard that someone had made chocolate covered bacon and it was really good. Howard said he would never eat pigs because they're so smart. He said that they're like dogs. He said he can't eat steak either. He said that cows are too cute when they're born for him to eat them. He said he saw a calf born on that Brooke Hogan show one time and it was so cute that he'd never be able to eat one.
Artie said he had a steak out at dinner the other night and it was really good. He said he forgot how good a rib eye steak could be.
Steve said that Kenneth Keith Kallenbach's mother has settled with the prison where her son died. She's unable to speak about it. Steve said they have more about the Geo Group too.
Steve said that Tracey Millman may be the reason for the proliferation of the word ''douche'' being used on TV shows so much lately. Howard said he actually saw the article about that in the paper and he was thinking about how he started using it on radio and no one wanted him to do that. He said he got in a lot of trouble for using it himself. He said that now they use it on TV all the time and the FCC doesn't get upset about it.
Howard said he ripped another article out of the paper from last week. He said that Richard Huff asked when news people are going to stop interviewing puppets. Howard said this guy is so right. He said they had a picture of Diane Sawyer talking to a puppet. Howard said they're talking to a person's fist and it's supposed to be cute and fun. Howard said he doesn't want to see anyone interviewing a Muppet. He said if you're laughing at that stuff then you're a fucking retard.
Howard said that's a bugaboo of his since he spoke to Waylon Flowers and Madam on his show. He said he was actually talking to the puppet on the show. Howard said he spoke to Pee Wee Herman on the show one time and he just wanted to talk to Paul Rubens and not his character. Howard said they were told they could have one or the other but not both.
Howard asked Steve if he had ever interviewed a puppet. Steve said he hadn't. He got back to the douche thing and said that they've used the word 76 times in the past year in prime time TV alone. He said last year it was only 30 times. Steve said it may be because of those tapes of Tracy calling Grillo a douche.
Steve said they have a story about a guy, Ray Comfort, who is hoping that Howard finds faith after his rant against Kirk Cameron last week. Steve also got in some plugs for Gary and Jon's show that's on Howard 101 tonight and for Greg Fitzsimmons' show as well.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. He ran down the list of things they were going to be talking about. During that Howard mentioned what he's doing for Christmas this year. He said he's going to bring everyone to dinner this year. He said he almost didn't do it because he heard Scott DePace was bitching about it. He said he just doesn't want to hear it. Howard said he heard him complaining about it on the Wrap UP Show last week and he was upset about it. Scott said that he just didn't want to go out to a big box place with a bad DJ. Howard said this party isn't going to be horrible. Howard told him it will be worth it to show up to this thing.
Gary told Howard he had some clips of Scott talking about it on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said he really brought him down when he was talking about it. Scott told him to fire him then. Howard said he's not going to fire him, he's going to resign.
Howard played the audio of Scott talking about that on the Wrap Up Show. Scott doesn't like coming back into the city at night so he didn't want it to just be some kind of party. He said he can even bring his wife with him. He said everyone can bring a date. Benjy was happy about that. He said that makes his life that much better. Howard said they'll all have a good time. Howard said it's going to be very expensive and it's going to be a good time.
Howard talked about the time Scott got into a food fight at Artie's party. He said he didn't like that. Scott said he didn't start it though. Howard said Sal is even invited to this Christmas party. He said that he had tape of Scott in the food fight at Artie's party. Howard said he's an asshole. Sal started it all though. He threw sauce on Scott.
Howard asked Robin if she's bringing a date. Robin said she's not sure because she doesn't even know the date. Howard told her to wear no panties and show the boobs. Scott asked what time the party will be. Howard said 7 or 7:30. Scott was hoping for something early so he doesn't have to go back home to Jersey.
Howard said he's going to have to have a special menu for Robin. He had Jon get back to his show rundown after that. They ended up back on the Christmas party discussion for a few seconds during that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that if Robin gets involved in the kid thing down in Guatemala and if that's going to cause problems if she decides to adopt. Robin said she's not going to adopt, she's not looking to get into the kid thing. Howard asked if she has the energy for a kid right now. Robin said she might be.
Robin read a story about John Phillips being number 2 in the worst parents of all time. Howard wondered who the worst parent was if he wasn't number 1. Robin said that the number 1 worst parent was Dina Lohan. Howard said they might be right about that. Robin said that John Voight is also on the list. Joe Simpson, Jessica and Ashlee's father is also on the list. Howard said that Ashlee is hotter than Jessica is now. He said he's always said that she'd turn out to be hotter. The Culkin family and Joe Jackson are also on the list.
Robin said that she read a story about how families spend 4 days a year arguing. She said that they spend a total of about 91 hours a year doing that. Howard said he believes that. He said his kids jump down his throat if he messes up talking about something. He said that a lot of it is about money, staying out late and things like that. Robin read that it's a lot about people taking each other for granted and chores among other things. That led to Howard playing a clip of Sal being yelled at by his wife during a photo taking session at home. His wife was yelling at him about the way they were taking the pictures. Howard said there's nothing like the holidays.
Howard asked Artie if he's going to have kids. Artie said he'd like to some day. He said he's still got time, he's only 42. Howard said he'll probably have them when he's only got 3 years left to live. Artie said if the kid is lucky he'll die before the kid is born.
Robin read a story about a woman who found out that her husband was a predator who was trying to pick up a 14 year old. She found him herself when she went on the internet and tried to trap a guy.
Robin read a story about some cannibals who ate a man and sold some of the extra meat to a kabob house. This was over in Russia.
Bobo called in and told Howard that ''This is Beetle'' #3 is the best of them so far. Howard said that's his favorite too so far. He asked Doug what the most popular show is on Howard TV right now. Doug said the number one show is the Kari Ann Peniche show and then number 3 is the Beetlejuice show. He said number 2 is the Brian Phelan Yankee fan story.
Boob was also asking about when the Dr. Drew segment is going to be on. Doug said that should be up next week. They talked about some of the other shows that are up now too.
Howard said the best reality shows out there include ''Leave it to Lamas.'' He said he's never seen such a vapid family before. He said that he can't get enough of that. He said that the Brooke Hogan show is good too. He said he likes shows like the Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew thing. He said that kind of stuff makes him happy. He said sex addiction makes him happy.
Robin read a story about a woman who has persistent sexual arousal. She found a man who can satisfy her. She has about 300 orgasms a day and she's found a man who can satisfy that. Howard asked who the guy is. She said it's her neighbor. Robin said they make love about 10 times a day. Howard said he doesn't believe that any guy can do it 10 times a day. He said it's not physically possible. Howard said they may be talking about doing stuff 10 times a day but the guy can't be having sex that many times.
Robin read a story about Bruce Springsteen referring to the wrong location when he was in Michigan. Howard said it's not that big of a deal because those guys are all over the country touring. Robin had some audio of him saying ''Good evening Ohio'' when he was actually in Michigan.
Robin read a story about a woman who was the victim of a prank on the internet because people started showing up at her house thinking there was a sex party going on.
Robin read a story about how men at the age of 40 have a 1 in 8 chance of dying from a heart attack for the rest of their lives. Howard said he was putting on some deodorant the other day and it hurt him so he thought that he had cancer. Then he thought that the new carpet they put down was going to give him cancer. He said he had to call the doctor to set up a physical. That was his whole weekend thinking about that stuff. Robin had some more details about that and about some drugs that are used for heart disease.
Robin read that cases of The Mumps is on the rise lately. She had some details about how many cases there are out there. Howard wondered if Michael Jackson could have had a lower voice if he didn't do all of the weird stuff he did. Robin said she heard he was castrated. Howard said he sounds so girly on this new CD they put out. He had some clips of that to play where Michael sounded very girly. Howard said Robin might be right about him being castrated. That led to Fred playing some high Pitch Eric telling his dog Sadie to ''Stop it... stop it... stop it!'' and some other clips while Howard was playing the Michael Jackson stuff. Howard wondered who had a higher voice, High Pitch or Michael Jackson or maybe even High Pitch Mike. They played a few clips of Michael singing and creating some of his songs.
Robin read some news about the rise of sexually transmitted diseases in this country. Robin read that teen girls from 15-19 have the most cases of Chlamydia. That led to the guys talking about how they can't imagine Michael talking about needing to go out and get some filthy pussy before doing a song. They talked about other manly things that he'd never talk about. They threw a bunch of things out there and goofed on him for a couple of minutes.
Robin read a story about Ted Haggard so Howard talked about how the guy should just come out off the closet and he'll have a following if he just admits it. He said that he insists on denying that he's gay. that led to the guys doing more of the Michael Jackson stuff and goofing around with the manly stuff that Michael would never do. Howard said religious people are full of shit and if they don't want to be around gay people then why stay with them? Howard kept doing his Michael Jackson impression and throwing out more manly stuff that Jackson would never do. Fred threw in a couple too like saying that Michael had to go mix some concrete after working on ''Beat it.''
Robin read about this new Thug Sunday that's being started by a Baptist preacher who is trying to get criminals to convert and change their lives for the better.
Robin read a story about Rudy Giuliani talking about what a bad idea it is to bring the suspected terrorists behind the 9/11 attacks to New York. She had some audio of Giuliani talking about that.
Robin read about President Obama visiting China and had some audio of him talking about how Al Qaeda is still the biggest threat to this country.
Robin had some news about Sarah Palin's new book coming out and some of the stuff she has in that.
Robin read a story about an extortion plot that was going on with Cindy Crawford and her husband. Robin had some details about that and it turned international when they deported the extortionist back to Germany.
Robin read a story about a woman who was arrested for child trafficking after her daughter disappeared. They found tape of the daughter with another man and she hasn't been seen since the 10th of this month.
Robin read that the movie 2012 was number 1 at the box office this weekend. She said it raked in $65 million this weekend. Robin said that the new Twilight movie is coming out soon. She had some audio of Kristen Stewart talking about working on the movie in Italy.
Robin had some audio of Duane Johnson talking about working on the movie ''Planet 51.'' Howard said he has to be thrilled that he's not wrestling anymore. He said he got a lucky break and he has to be appreciative of that. He doesn't have to bash people over the head with chairs anymore.
Robin had some audio of Eva Mendes talking about a movie but Howard didn't make it through a full second before cutting it off. He said he couldn't take that. Robin was done with her news so Howard ended the show around 10:40am. Artie mentioned that his CD and DVD ''Jack and Coke'' are coming out tomorrow. Howard congratulated him on that and ended the show.
Jon wondered what they're supposed to do if they can't go to the event. The artwork is going to be sold and some of the proceeds are going to charity. Gary said he can't make it to the event and he's not sure what to do. Jon said Howard did ask how much to send and he was wondering if it was to benefit the cause or the artist. Gary said a lot of people thought it was odd that it was the artist who was in there with Robin the other day. Gary said he thinks that there might be something going on there. He said if there's nothing going on then maybe someone wishes that there was something going on. He said that it might be Robin who is wishing that something was going on.
Jon asked if anyone was upset about not being invited to the event. Gary said he didn't hear one complaint. He said if Scott wasn't invited he didn't say a word.
Jon brought up the Guatemala thing again and said that Howard seemed very concerned with her going down there. Gary said it depends on the situation down there. He said he had something similar going on when he went over to Afghanistan. He said if Robin looks into it more and finds she's well protected then she'll probably be fine with it. Jon wondered if people telling her not to do will make her want to do it. Gary said that could happen because that's what it was like with his trip.
Jon asked Benjy if Robin should go. Benjy said there is danger but if she wants to go then she should. He said he would go if it was the right circumstances.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that he got an invitation to Robin's event. He said he wasn't able to read it the first time he got it but then he got it a second time and ended up wondering if he has to donate if he doesn't show up to the event. Gary said he was wondering the same thing. Scott said his anniversary is on Wednesday so he can't go to the event. He said he has to donate to that charity instead. He said it's been 25 years so he has to do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was down in Guatemala and Robin shouldn't go. He said he was down there for an adoption and there are people walking around in the streets holding guns. He said they were with a tour guide down there and they got to see the different zones down there. The local guy shot through the poor area as fast as possible because even he was afraid of it. The caller said that it's crazy down there and even his adoption lady was kidnapped down there. He said he thinks that they'd have their way with Robin down there because she's not Guatemalan.
Robin came in and said that she's just not going to go down on her own. She said she'll be with people. Gary told Robin about some of what the guy had just told them and how crazy it sounds down there. Robin said she's got concern about going too but she's interested in going down there. She said that she hasn't experienced that and she wants to see what the needs are down there first hand. Gary asked who she's working with. She said its' the United Nations Foundation and they're putting together this trip so she wants to do down there.
Gary talked about his trip to Afghanistan again and how they told him that no one in the history of the USO visits has ever died. He said he hopes the U.N. has a similar track record. Robin said she's not sure but she's never heard about losing any stars.
Jon asked how the off air conversation went with Howard. Robin said it lasted about 10 seconds and it was just Howard begging her not to go.
Jon asked Robin about her event and Robin said that it's caused a lot of confusion. Robin said that they're going to be selling some art work at an art show and it's an art show and exhibition. Benjy said he doesn't know if he has to buy something. Robin said that they don't have to buy anything at all. She said she'd be find if they just show up, look at the art and learn about this Girl Fund.
Jon asked Robin if there's anything going on with this artist guy. Robin said that was it, she was out of there because she does enough of that on the other show. Jon said he'd get off of that subject then. He asked her about doing the trip to Guatemala again and asked about her trip to India that only lasted for a couple of days. She just wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as she landed.
Robin talked about how horrible it was in India and how she had to switch hotels every night she was there. She talked about taking a cab there and how the cab driver went to a gas station and made her pay for the gas.
Gary asked about what happened in Venezuela. She said that she thought she was going to be staying in a 5 star hotel and they must have had a 10 star rating chart because this place was horrible. She said she had bugs biting her through the sheets and stuff like that down there. She said the shower water smelled like sewer water and it was awful. She said she was there for a week and by the time she got home she was able to read in Spanish.
Jon mentioned that Robin's episode of Jeopardy is this week too. Robin said it's on the 19th.
A caller asked Robin if she would ever go to Cuba. Robin asked why she would go there. The caller said if the girls were in need there maybe she'd have to go. Robin said they have a pretty stable government there and they don't need help like they do in Guatemala.
Another caller said he was from Guatemala and he's never going back. He said he thinks Robin is crazy for going down there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves Robin and he thinks she's doing good things but he hopes she's safe down there. He said she might be okay since she's from Baltimore. Gary said the guy wanted to ask her why she wasn't helping the people of Baltimore. Robin said she has done that in the past. She said she tires to help people wherever she can. The Jeopardy thing she did was for a school in Baltimore.
Jon asked Robin about what Howard was saying about being the most powerful man in media. Robin said that they've had so many issues with the government and they've been hampered all this time. She said that it shows that Howard has power when he had to go through that and still makes it big like he has. He said Oprah can do no wrong. Robin said that it's amazing that Howard got 6 million fans to come to SIRIUS alone.
Jon asked Robin if she still gets crap from people for working for the show. She said she doesn't get it that much anymore. Robin said that she used to get it in the past and people would ask her how long she really thought it could last.
Gary said that he offered up a Wrap Up Show thing for a charity event and the people told him that it was for a school event and they had to pass on it. Gary said he didn't know that the Wrap Up Show was so controversial. He said he kind of took it personally.
Jon asked Robin if she thought that Sal getting the invite to the Christmas party was a surprise. Robin said she was surprised at first but then she realized it's not at Howard's house or anything like that.
Scott DePace came in since they were talking about the Christmas party thing again. He said he didn't want to rehash the whole thing again. Robin said that she didn't like the way he was making it sound like it was a hassle to go out to a party in the city. Scott said he loves his life in Jersey and he has no desire to drive back into the city to go to some bad party. He said he knows that Howard won't do that though. He said the party should be good.
Scott said they were talking about the party on the Wrap Up Show last week and it came up that it might be one of these ''box parties'' that he was describing. He said that if it was at a house or something then it would be a great party. If it's just in some big box place and they have crappy music playing, he's not going to enjoy it.
Scott talked about some of the parties he's been to over the years and he hasn't enjoyed a lot of them. He said some of them have been kind of lame. Gary said he's had fun at most of these parties he was saying he didn't enjoy.
Gary said he's told Scott that he's very selfish. He said that he would go to parties for Scott even if they were a pain in the ass for him to get to. Scott said that his wife works for the Daily Show and he won't go to the parties because they go to a bar and sing karaoke. He said he's not into that and he tells his wife why he won't go and she understands it.
Gary told a story about how Scott's son got sick with the flu and Doug told him to stay home. The next week Scott told him that he and his wife got into an argument about bringing the kids to the doctor. Scott wanted to golf and he argued that the Nanny should do it. Scott said they knew what it was and his wife wanted to rule out bronchitis so she wanted them to go to the doctor. He said they have walk in hours in the morning and his wife didn't tell him that. Scott wanted to play golf and the doctor told him he could wait until the next morning.
Gary said that he never said he wasn't a good father. He said that Scott twisted his words about that. He said he night have said he's the most selfish person he's ever met. Scott said he missed half of his golf game taking the kids to the doctor that day.
Gary said that Scott said that he went to play 9 holes and he was playing like shit because he was all thrown off by the whole kid thing.
Jon took a call from Brendan, the guy who is the artist that Robin brought up to the studio. He's the one that this event is being held for. Benjy was asking him about dating Robin but Robin said that this is not what they're talking about. She said that she's trying not to answer their questions today so when they asked her how old he was she said she didn't know. She actually did know.
Brendan said that Robin has become one of her best friends. He said that they have gone out to hang out together but it's not a real date. Benjy was asking him about there being physical intimacy and things but it was all very vague.
Jon asked Brendan what he thinks about Robin going to Guatemala. Brendan said he thinks she'll be fine if she goes with the U.N. He said that's almost like an insurance policy in his opinion.
The guys talked about Robin and Brendan and wondered if they're really dating or not. Robin and Brendan weren't confirming or denying anything. Jon had to wrap up and let Robin get in some plugs for this charity she's working with before they went to break.
Jon asked who will have eyes on them at this party. Gary said eyes will be on Sal and Richard but they'll probably behave. Benjy said that if people are bringing dates then there may be some trouble from them. Gary said that things should be okay with that but there will be some things they'll see that will be interesting.
Benjy said that if Howard had said no dates then it would have been a different story. Benjy said that he would have been disappointed if it was just for the staff. Benjy said he wouldn't be into going if they weren't allowed to bring dates.
Gary said he'll have fun at the party because he'll want to talk to people he doesn't get to talk to that often. He said he thinks that they'll have a good time at this part.
A caller asked Gary if they ever thought about having Tom Chiusano as the program director there. Gary said that wasn't what Tom's job was so they may not have wanted him to do that. He said he thinks that Tom would have loved to have worked with them but they really didn't have position there for him.
The caller also asked about what they will do if Howard doesn't re-sign with the company. He asked if Gary would go to work for Leno and Imus if they had offers. Gary said it would depend on the situation. He said if the money was right he might do it with Leno but maybe not with Imus. Gary said that's not the kind of show he wants to work for.
Gary said he thinks that the Leno show blows right now but he thought it was going to work before it started. Benjy thought that Conan was going to do incredible too. He said he thought he was going to draw in the younger crowd and that hasn't happened.
Gary asked if Conan can blame it all on Leno. Jon said that some of the blame goes to the Leno show but not all of it. He said that people expected a lot from the Tonight Show and it's tough to make that transformation. He said he feels bad because Conan is funny and his show is good but it's caught up in the mix. Jon said that the show is a lot of what Conan did in New York but it's mixed in with the Tonight Show format. Jon said it seems like a New York type of show and it might not be working in L.A.
Gary asked who the odd man out will be in all of this. He wondered if Jay will be out or will Conan be out of they cancel Leno's show. Jon said he thinks Conan would be out. He said he could take that show back from Fallon but it might be kind of weird to do that. Jon said it doesn't all add up and it's hard to say what will happen.
The guys spent the last few minutes of the show talking about the late night wars and what might happen there. They were talking about how Conan has worked his way up to the big time so maybe he wouldn't want to go back to where he was at. Jon said that Carson Daly gets screwed again no matter what happens. Gary and Benjy asked if he's even still on. No one was sure if he was still doing a show.
Sam Simon called in and said he had dinner with Robin and this Brendan guy and he's like a more glamorous version of Ralph. He said he's an artist, he's tall and he has long hair. He said that he's kind of filled the shoes for what Robin and Ralph used to do. Jon asked if Ralph has been tossed aside for this guy. Gary said he's not as young as Ralph is though. Sam said that they're both very similar.
Jon asked Sam about Robin going go Guatemala. He said that he's fine with that but if he were Howard, he'd cancel this dinner. He said that a lot of time and effort will go into it and people like Scott DePace give this kind of reaction. He said that it's outrageous. Sam said it's not right and Howard is making this gesture and it's very nice to do this and people don't appreciate it. He's trying to do something nice for these people and it's horrible to react like Scott does. Jon asked Sam what he would do if he had people like that. Sam said that he's done this kind of thing and he actually canceled a party over something like that. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started the show talking about how he won't be the life of the party today. He said he's exhausted and had a miserable night. He said he did this apartment remodel and he wasn't able to fall asleep last night. He said he had the heat on and it was clanging all night. He said they thought they had that fixed but that noise is back. Then they heard this strange noise coming from the washing machine. It wasn't installed the right way. Beth was up at 1 because of the clanging of the pipes. Then she went to another room and the washing machine alarm was going off and she had nowhere to hide. He said it's kind of a bummer but they'll get it all worked out. He said a lot of stuff isn't just right.
Howard said he feels like an ogre bringing up thing after thing that's not right. He said they have to do this punch list for what's wrong and there's a bunch of things. He said he just has to get some sleep because he's wasted. Howard said they're both going nuts from this whole thing. He said they're working on getting everything worked out and it's going to take a while.
Howard said he's not good at taking his time with stuff like this. He said he has to document it all with a pen and paper and it's taking all day to do it. Robin said she has a phone guy coming today to fix a loud buzz and she forgot to tell them that. She said she doesn't want them to have to come again.
Howard thought Artie was making odd noises into his mic but Artie said it wasn't him. The sound vanished as quickly as it came.
Howard said he still loves Ralph to shop for him though. He said Ralph is very girly when it comes to that stuff. He said he might be gay. Howard said he does like football though. Howard said he'll go out shopping with him and he'll feel the fabrics and say they feel great. Then he'll tell him that he's going away with Sam Simon and that sounds gay to him too. He said that Ralph will tell him about going to see the new Dallas Cowboys stadium and that's kind of a manly thing to do.
Howard said Ralph has been helping him out a lot but he doesn't know how to throw anything away. Howard said Ralph saves everything.
Howard got back to the Clint Eastwood thing and read a quote from him in the article. He said that guy is a good man. Howard read the quote and it was about how the country is getting to be kind of weak from these ''teenage twits'' that are around. Howard said he agrees with Clint on that. He said it's shocking to him how kids are these days. Howard said his parents were so much different and he still thinks that it's depressing to make people famous for doing nothing.
Howard read that Clint meditates 2 times a day and he still looks good too. Robin said he doesn't look that good. Fred said he read that he does push ups while he's in the editing room too.
Howard told Artie that it was him making that squeaking noise he was hearing. He told him what it sounded like and Artie said he'd be conscious of it and stop. Artie said he didn't get any sleep last night either.
Jason brought in Artie's lunch and ran down the list of things he had. He had some Hawaiian Punch and Howard said he thought he stopped with that. Artie said he doesn't drink as much as he used to. Howard told him to try some Perrier in there and it will give it some more taste.
Howard mentioned that Beth has been meditating lately and she loves it. He said Carol Leifer has started doing it too and she loves it too.
Artie said he went out to meet Rick Rubin recently and he talked to the guy for like 2 and a half hours. He said the guy was telling him about how great meditating was too. Howard said Rick is way into that. Artie said he may have to try it out too. Howard said that would be great if Artie gave it a try.
Howard read more of the Clint Eastwood story and read that he finally gave up on chasing the girls. Robin said that the guy was like 90 so of course he did.
Artie told a story about going out to California when he was working on MAD TV. He said that Clint was on the set there and he saw Clint driving a golf cart around there. He said that he came within inches of hitting his car and he was always thinking that he'd have to deal with him in some way if he ran into his car. He never did but he thought about what a huge star he is.
Howard said he wanted to take some phone calls and do some other stuff. They had a lot to get to today. Howard said they have the Medicated Pete dating game coming up today. Robin said he's made himself up today. Howard said they have some booze disappearing from the studio and he's going to catch the person with a hidden camera. Howard said that someone was touching his board and they're trying to figure out who it is. Howard said they should put ex-lax in the booze to catch the person. Howard said they could have just filled up the bottles with water to make them think that they were still full.
Howard asked which booze was being stolen. Gary said he thinks they drank all of it. Gary said Doug told him that they filled up two bags of bottles. He also said that there was a lot of Ketle One missing. Howard said he loves that stuff. He said got a cool bottle from Aaron from Staind that's a skull head. He said he's not sure what brand that vodka was though.
Howard said that Pete is going to be doing this dating game and he's jacked up out of his skull. Howard said he must be super excited because he's making noises today. He said Gary told him it was pretty entertaining. Howard wanted to talk to Pete but Scott came in and told him they weren't able to find him.
Howard said that they found 3 women to play the game but a bunch of them backed out when they got the call from them. Gary said one of the girls canceled after hearing the story about him cumming in his pants at Rick's Cabaret without even being touched. Gary told Howard that Pete isn't even in their compound right now.
Pete ended up showing up and said he was in the bathroom. Howard told him that he has to dry his lips before the girls come in today. Howard asked if he was all worked up and making noises because of this dating game. He asked Pete if he was jacking off last night in preparation for this game. Pete said he was doing that actually.
Howard said they have 3 girls coming in today who want to date him. He said they got a lot of letters from women and some of them were super hot. One of the girls backed out because of his story from Rick's but that has to be understandable because the guy never gets laid. Howard said he's glad the girl made the move and didn't come in because he'd rather have Pete find someone who isn't an asshole.
Howard said they have the midget girl coming in and the girl in the wheelchair too. Pete said he has no problem with the wheelchair thing. Howard said of course he doesn't. If you're not getting laid then anything is going to be good. Howard said he's going to help Pete grill these girls today.
Howard said Pete is looking good today. He's got his hair all gelled up and he's wearing a sport jacket and jeans. Howard asked if he did the gel thing in the mirror there. Pete said he has a whole bunch of stuff in a bag he brought to work. Pete said he's all set to go.
Howard said they're going to be doing the dating game thing in the 7 o'clock hour and the date is going to happen today. They're going to send them out to a restaurant and whatever happens, happens. Howard said it would be nice if he got laid today. He said time is a wasting and Pete needs to get some.
Howard said Pete is 34 years old and he's never had a girlfriend. Howard said this is as good as it's going to get. Artie gave him some advice and told him to just tell the midget that she's a midget and they should just fuck.
Howard said he's going to help Pete out. Robin said that the other guys are probably going to ruin it for him. Howard said he helped Fred find his wife on the show in a dating game. Fred picked the right girl and now he's married to her. Howard told Pete not to listen to him and pick the girl he thinks is right. He told him he would have picked the other girl for Fred in that dating game but Fred went with Alison and made the right choice.
Howard asked Pete what was going on with him today and fond out he has a hard time focusing when he gets all Tourettes'd out. He said the excitement makes him more hyper than usual.
Robin told Pete that he's looking good day. Pete thanked her for that and said that he really doesn't have an appearance problem. Howard asked him if he was kidding with that. Pete said he's not that bad looking. Howard agreed with him and told him to pick the midget if he really wants to get laid.
Howard said Pete is Tourettes'ing all over the place today. He said that might be good for Scott to have someone so hyper around him.
Howard said he gets why Scott was bummed out about the old parties that E! used to throw for them. He said it was sad to go to those parties. Scott came in and told Howard that he used to want to just leave those parties. He said they weren't allowed to bring any guests or anything so it wasn't fun.
Howard played the audio of Sam calling in on the Wrap Up Show yesterday where he was telling the guys that Howard should cancel the party over Scott's comments. He said he's unappreciative and Howard is just trying to do something nice for his people. He said Scott is ill mannered and rude.
Scott said he hates Sam Simon. Howard said he agrees with Sam. Robin said he didn't like one of the parties she had and he had never told her that before.
The caller asked Scott if he's that miserable that he doesn't ant to be around people. Scott said that he has to travel back into the city and it's not worth it for him. He said he used to like it when they had Scores parties in the afternoon because he didn't have to leave the city and come back later.
Howard said this is more of a dinner than even a Christmas party. He said he has to put out a lot of money for this party and the guy who owns the place isn't giving him a break. He said he's got more pressure on him than usual and then he has to hear Scott complaining about it. Howard said maybe everyone feels that way and they're just afraid to say it.
Scott told Howard that all of his parties have been great. He said his wedding was awesome too and this party will probably be great too. Howard said he's not sure why he's doing it. He said he really did get down after hearing Scott complaining about it yesterday. Scott said he'll start lying around there if they want him to. Robin said no one wants him to start lying. She said that he's so ungrateful and he thinks that people are trying to impose upon him or something.
Scott said that what he was talking about yesterday wasn't what they're talking about now. He said he won't go if Howard doesn't want him to. Howard said maybe he shouldn't go then. He said his wife will be bummed out of she doesn't get to go though.
The guys were talking about doing a secret Santa thing even though this was their gift from Howard. Fred and Artie were all for it but Scott was against it. Scott said he got crappy gifts the past couple of years and he's not into it.
Howard said he's out of the whole secret Santa thing. He said hopefully next year they'll be on their way out of there and they won't have to worry about it again. Howard said he won't have to do anything for the guys if they're not going to be working together again.
Howard said Mel Karmazin was talking about him on FOX news yesterday. He said that he's not sure what they were saying about him. He said that they were probably talking about how they can't keep paying him the way they are. Howard said he's not sure about that though.
Howard said that it could just be a friend but she should be dating. Robin said it did look tantalizing and it could be a date. Howard said he doesn't get that feeling.
Bobo said that Rosie was talking about how Kelli moved out 2 years ago and that conflicts with what she told Howard on the show. Howard said that Rosie is going through this divorce and things haven't been great. He said that's what she told him when she was there. Howard said that he doesn't know all of the details though.
Howard talked about Rosie's marriage a bit and said that he doesn't get why they don't just let gay couples get married and suffer like the rest.
Bobo asked a weird question about the astronaut helmet and Howard didn't know what he was talking about. Fred said he always ends his calls on a bad note. Howard said he should let Bobo program the show for a day. They goofed on Bobo for a short time after that.
Howard said he heard Robin on the Wrap Up Show yesterday too. He said her ''friend'' the artist called in too. He said it was fun to hear her pretending that she hardly knows the guy. Howard played some of that interview where she was saying she was pretending not to know how old he was when she really did. Howard said there's got to be something going on with her and his guy. Howard said he's too tired to figure it out.
Gary told Robin that Sam Simon was saying that this new guy has basically replaced Ralph. Robin said that's not true either. Howard replayed the audio of Robin talking to Brendan on the Wrap Up Show and pretending she didn't know how told he was. Howard said that Robin handed out a bunch of his hats to the staff too. Robin said he sent them over there so she handed them out to the guys.
Howard asked Robin if this guy's artwork sells. Robin said of course it does. She said that's how he makes a living.
Howard said Rob got there and they kept him waiting in the parking lot because they were interviewing a guy who was a dancer for Michael Jackson. Rob wasn't even that irritated by that but he came in and joked about them doing that to him. He said he was being light hearted about it and joked around about how he was out there counting cigarette butts in the parking lot. Then they busted his balls and he said he'd leave if they didn't want him there.
Howard said he thought he was going to see Rob acting like a prima Donna but what he actually saw was the opposite of that. He played the audio of the interview where the morning crew were preparing to bring Rob in. In the clip Rob was talking about how they had misspelled his name and joked around with this morning crew. Rob wasn't angry, he was just having some fun with them. He was joking about being in the parking lot and asked what was so amazing that he had to wait out there. They talked about this dancer they had on the show and how he was a Michael Jackson dancer who was working with Michael shortly before he died.
Howard said the crew weren't playing along with Rob and they were giving him a hard time. Rob was goofing on Michael Jackson and they didn't seem to get that he was being funny. Artie said he was the only funny guy in the room. Then Rob was saying that the woman on the crew had an accent that seemed to be getting worse with every word.
Howard said things went down hill and Rob eventually walked out. Howard played the end of the interview where Rob was talking about how he had to wait in the parking lot again and goofing on them. Howard said it wasn't a put down to mention the parking lot thing and they didn't get that he was just joking. The crew said that they had Norm MacDonald on the show and that didn't go well. They said that they got him in on time and that's the way it usually goes there. Howard said Rob really didn't care but they sounded like they wanted to start a fight with the guy.
They told Rob he was being a jerk to them as he was joking around. One of the guys told him that all of the comedians think that they're bigger than life and if he doesn't want to be there then he shouldn't do the show. Rob told the guy that he wasn't being funny and they always need something to do in the morning with a show like that. He said that's the problem with morning radio in general. He wasn't talking crap about their show, he was there trying to make something out of the interview.
Howard said this is what it's like for these comedians who have to do shows around the country. He said that they end up dealing with a bunch of morons. Artie said he used to have to do local radio like this and it was rough. He said that he's not trying to kiss Howard's ass but it's so clear how higher up on the quality scale Howard was over these people.
Howard played the rest of the clip of Rob trying to explain his position and the crew ending it. They said it was over and they didn't think he was joking. Rob said he was joking and they didn't get it. The chick on the show told him to get the F-out of the studio.
Howard said this is a case where he blames Robin for most of this. He said that every morning show has a woman like that and this one is the dumbest one he's heard yet. Howard said they're taking offense at what Rob is saying when he's actually complimenting them. Howard said poor Rob had to deal with this nonsense.
Howard played more of the audio where Rob was asking the guys to ask him something interesting and they were telling him that they were trying but he kept complaining. Rob said he didn't want to play the game that they were playing. Howard said poor Rob had to deal with this bullshit. Howard said the audience thought Rob was being a jerk but he really wasn't. Howard said Rob was joking around.
Howard said they were being awful to Rob and that's why local radio blows donkey dick. He played a clip where this woman called into that show and told Rob he was being a jerk. Howard said that's their idiot audience. Howard said he wasn't being jerky in what he heard. He said it was the same tone throughout the half hour that Rob was on. Howard said morning radio is really bad and they do such shitty shows. He said they're all dumb.
Howard said these people just don't get it and they're not listening to what Rob is saying. Howard said Rob was saying that they were in a dismal area where he was waiting in the parking lot to get on their show and they should just admit it and have some fun with it. Howard said Rob was being funny and they didn't hear that.
The annoying chick on the morning show said that she was done with the interview and she wasn't going on anymore. Howard said they were insulting Rob to his face and that was wrong. Howard said that they think that Rob is there to make one guy laugh and it's wrong to treat him the way they were. Robin said that they don't even recognize Rob's talent.
In the clip Rob said that it wasn't about him and he was fine all morning. He said he did another show that morning and it went smooth. He said that it was with their competition and it went just fine. The guys on the show kicked Rob out of there and one of the guys was yelling out ''Peace!'' as he was telling him he was done with the whole thing.
Howard said that guy is going nowhere in morning radio. He said they weren't making any sense and it was just a bad interview. Howard said they were interviewing a dancer from the Michael Jackson movie and rob was having some fun playing with that.
Howard said Rob isn't the biggest comedian in the world but it's not easy to get where Rob got. Howard said he deserves better than that. Artie said he's hugely successful and he doesn't deserve that. He said he'd love to hear how they misinterpreted Norm's appearance on that show.
Howard played more of the audio of the crew going off on Rob as he was walking out. They were calling him a jackass and saying that they were sick of that. One of the guys was saying that they're never funny when they come in there. One of their callers said that Rob was a complete douche bag. Howard said that he'd like to know what he said that made him a douche bag. Howard said they were the ones saying that he was upset about being in the parking lot.
Howard said it's crazy and radio is in such a bad state that they can't even make money doing radio now. Howard said that when the ratings are down that crew will be gone and no one will have an arena to perform in. Howard said they were saying that Norm and Rob weren't funny and if that's the case then maybe it's the show they're doing. Howard said that they have these great guests and they can't work with them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he made it over to West Palm Beach and met Rob when he performed out there. He said he was the coolest guy he's ever met. Howard said Rob has been funny on his show and they have an nice time with him. He said he wanted to hear him being an asshole in this clip and that's not what he heard. Howard said he was ready to defend the radio show but then he heard the whole thing and he was mesmerized by the whole thing. He said they were screaming at Rob about whatever it was and it seems that it was them, not Rob.
Howard said he likes it when his guests come in and talk about how shitty the green room is there. He wants the guests to paint the picture for him. He said that makes for great radio. He said that's what they should have done with Rob talking about waiting in the parking lot.
Howard said that crew may be frustrated and they took it all out on Rob. Howard said Rob didn't deserve that though. The caller said he had to get going because he was a plumber and he had to go clear some turd's.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he blames Howard for the way those hosts act because they're all trying to be Howard Stern and they don't know how to do it. He said they're awful when they do that kind of thing.
A caller said that the show they were listening to does their show in a tiny room and they sound so rehearsed it's really just awful. He also asked if he could take Scott DePace's wife to the party. Scott said no to that but Howard said that would be fine with him.
Howard came back and mentioned the Cougar Beauty Pageant they have coming up soon. They're still looking for contestants for the game.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. She mentioned that Artie's CD and DVD ''Jack and Coke'' is out today. Howard said Artie was thanking him for helping him out with his career and that was uncomfortable as usual. He said that Bob Levy is on the cover of the album and he found that odd. Artie said it was a funny picture of the two of them and he wanted to give Bob some more exposure so this was a good way to do it.
Howard said Artie told him that he is very excited about this album and he has a lot of dark and angry material on the album. Artie said it's available at all FYE stores or online at a bunch of places too. Lisa said that it's at the top of the charts at iTunes and also at number 7 in the comedy on amazon.com.
Lisa said she spoke to some people about what Howard thought about Robin going to Guatemala. Howard said he got a lot of feedback about that conversation and there were people saying that she'd be fine down there. Howard said there were some people who wondered why Robin would go to a country where they're not wanted or appreciated. Howard read one where the person hoped that she'd get kidnapped so they wouldn't have to hear her on the show anymore.
Lisa went through some more of the stuff she had coming up and said that Mutt from Superfan Roundtable was kind of upset he wasn't invited out to L.A. to be part of the Celebrity Superfan Roundtable. Lisa said that Mutt feels he was pushed aside for that whole thing. Howard said that sounds like a bunch of nonsense she's got today and he had to get to this Medicated Pete game.
First up was Dynah who said that she thinks that Pete is a cool guy and he looked good. Next up was Chris who said that he was a lot better looking in person and she has no problem with his Tourettes. They also had Lila there so she said a quick hello to him and told him he looked cute. She said she liked the fringe on his jeans.
Howard said he was going to go through the girls one at a time and started with Dynah. Howard described what she looked like and asked what size her boobs were. She said they were an A-cup but she said she has something there when she takes her shirt off. She's in a wheelchair and she has really bad balance problems. She has a thing called fredrix ataxia. Howard asked how many people have that. She said it's about 1 in 50,000 people who have it. She said that it's a genetic thing and she was diagnosed with it at 19. She said that it is a progressive thing but she's been doing okay for a while now. She said that it can lead to the person becoming dependant on someone else to help them out.
Howard asked Dynah if she was turned off by Pete's story about dropping his load in his pants at Rick's. She said she wasn't bothered by that. She said she understands how that could happen. Howard asked if she's excited about trying to help Pete get out of his shell. She said that it is kind of cool. Howard asked her when she last had sex. She said it was a few months ago when she went to a happy hour at a bar. Howard said she looks like she's in shape. She said she's a vegan so that helps.
Howard asked about meeting this guy at happy hour and how that all worked out. She said she and some other people were hanging out drinking and she drove him home that night. She said that they went to his place and she had to get up his stairs to get to the apartment. She said she had to bump herself up the stairs to get there. Pete said there's something to that. He seemed to like that. Howard asked if Dynah can undress herself. She said she can do that. Howard asked her about the guy and what they were doing and Robin asked if Pete really wants to hear this. Howard said it doesn't matter what Pete wants to hear. Howard asked if the guy was as handsome as Pete was. She said he was.
Howard asked Dynah about what went down with the guy and what kind of sex they were doing. Dynah said it was typical for the first time sex that people have. She said that she didn't want to step out of her comfort zone.
As the conversation was going on Pete was making more and more noises. He was sniffing and making odd sounds as Howard was talking to Dynah. Pete asked Dynah what she thought about him so far. She said that she would like to learn more about him. She said that he seemed cool but she thinks that he might need to be coaxed out of his shell more. Howard said that he's kind of out of his element but once he opens up he'll be fine.
Pete asked Dynah what kind of music she likes. She said she likes Queen a lot. Pete said that works because he likes classic rock and U2 as well. Howard asked Dynah if she would be turned off if Pete asked her to pay for the date. She said it depends on the way the guy says it. Howard asked her if she can see herself sleeping with him. She said he seems like an awesome guy so maybe.
Howard asked Dynah if she's looking for a boyfriend. He said Pete is looking for something long term. She said she can see that happening. Howard asked if she has guys bailing on her all the time. She said that she has had long term relationships that have lasted a couple of years. She said that guys do bail but that might be guys being guys.
Howard moved on to the next girl and spoke to Chris. Howard said he likes her hair because it's long and flowing. Chris just got out of jail on July 3rd. Howard said she's kind of heavy set. She said she put on a lot in jail. She said all they feed you is carbs. She said it's horrible food and it has tons of carbs. Howard asked Pete if he likes women with some meat on her bones. Pete said he's got no problem with it at all. He said it doesn't bother him. Chris said that made her happy. Howard said that she may lose it. She said she definitely will. Howard said she's also local to them. Dynah is from Philly so she's a little further away. Pete is from Red Bank, New Jersey though so he's not too far from Dynah either.
Howard said Chris served 8 months in Riker's island for stealing money from her boss. She said that it was a little over $8,000. She said that she worked as an office manager for an engineering firm and she was in charge of the books. She had a big gambling problem and she was writing checks. She said that she was into cards and craps so she had some problems. Chris said she did a lot of online gambling and it was the worst. She said that she had the checks and she would write checks to herself and put them in her account. She said she started to pay it back but then got into debt and wasn't able to pay it back. Pete didn't seem to have a problem with what she did. Chris said she feels really bad about what she did and she wrote a 3 page letter to her boss apologizing for what she did.
Howard said that Chris served her time. She said that it's hard to get a job now. She said that she's done some freelance web design but she's had some trouble finding a regular job. Howard said Chris doesn't seem like the kind of person that would steal. She said she has learned her lesson and would never do that again. Howard asked if she had ever stolen before. She said that she hadn't done anything like that. She said when she was younger she may have shop lifted. That was when she was much younger.
Howard asked Pete if he has ever stolen. Pete said he stole gum when he was a kid but that was about it. He asked Chris how it was in jail. She said that she had some issues with some of the girls. She said that they had a problem with her because she was white. She said that they just didn't like that she was white and that was it. She said that most of the women weren't white so she stood out. Robin asked what she had to do to cope with that. Chris said she had to keep to herself. She said she didn't have to fight. She said she was pushed once but before it got any further an officer broke it up. Howard was doing a black accent and asking if she had to do that in jail. She said she didn't have to do that and when she saw Pete doing an accent she said that he was very cute. Howard said it was like love happening there.
Howard asked Chris what she did for sex while she was there. She said she didn't get horny there. She said there were some women having sex there though. She said that she didn't do that but it was going on. She said those girls were hard core.
Howard asked when she last had sex. She said it's been over a year. She said that she was liking Pete more and more as this was going on. Howard said he was the same way with Pete. He said that he grew on him.
Howard asked what a good date would be with Pete. She said she'd like a carriage ride and maybe a comedy show. She said that maybe they could go out for some drinks and see what happens from there. She said that she wouldn't be wearing any negligee though. She said she has to loose like 100 pounds or so. Howard asked if she's into anal. She said no to that. She said she likes oral. She said she likes giving better than receiving. Howard said that's a great answer. Howard asked if her weight has something to do with that. She said she's very clean but she was never really into that. She said some people think she's crazy but she's never been into getting oral.
Howard asked Dynah if she likes giving it. She said she likes getting it better than giving it but she's okay with giving. Howard asked Chris if she swallows. She said she'd gag and vomit.
Howard let Pete ask Chris some questions. Pete said he didn't know what to ask. He said he was all out of questions. She kept saying he was cute the whole time.
Howard said that Lila was up next. She's a little person and she's very cute according to Howard. Howard asked if she's ever had a long term relationship. She said she had one from 18 to 26 and it was wonderful. She said that it was great but they drifted apart. She said that she'll love him forever. Howard said that Lila has a pretty face and she has some big breasts. She said that she's 3'11'' tall. Pete is 5'6'' tall. Pete asked her how she feels about being with someone that tall. Lila said that's how it's supposed to be. She said that the guy should be taller and stronger.
Howard asked Lila if she's been told she looks like Jenny McCarthy. She said she doesn't get that much. She told Pete she thinks he's sexy. She said that she last had a man before July. She said that on Sunday she had a big dinner with friends and there were 13 of them and she had a friend there that was her date for the evening. She said she had some vodka tonics and he gave her a birthday present at her place. She said that he's a normal sized person and it had been a long time before that.
Howard asked Lila if she likes anal. She said that you have to trust the guy and she can't do it with someone who is new. She said that she might trust Pete eventually. Howard asked her how she fell for Pete. She said she heard him on the air and said that he sounded like a nice guy and she emailed the show to ask to be a part of this.
Howard asked Pete if he had any questions for Lila. Pete said he didn't think so. He was trying to think of something but he didn't have much. Pete asked her what she'd like to do on a date. She said she likes music and they could go out and do some Karaoke. She said she's also into Queen and went out as Freddy Mercury on Halloween.
Howard asked if sex is easy for her to do being a little person. She said it can be kind of tough but she said that it shouldn't be that tough. Howard asked Pete if he had another question for her or was it just his Tourettes acting up. Pete said it was just a moment.
Howard asked Lila who she would pick between Chris and Dynah. She said she would pick Dynah only because she understands a little more about adversity. She said that she hates being referred to as ''so cute'' when she's a woman at 31. She said that she doesn't think that's cute saying that. She said that she's seeing that from a different perspective. Chris said she thinks that Lila is beautiful. Pete said he was okay with the ''cute'' references.
Howard asked Chris who she thinks that Pete should pick over Dynah and Lila. She said that she'd go with Lila. Howard asked Dynah who she thinks he should go with if it's not her. She said that was tough. She said that they're all good.
Howard said that they got to know them all and they were all very nice. Howard said that Pete can only pick one though. He told Pete he has to make the choice himself. Pete said this was very interesting. He said that he might need a pep talk. Howard said he was going to talk to him man to man. He has 3 girls there and they all have positives and negatives. Howard told Pete what he liked about Dynah and said that he liked her look and she was no bullshit artist. He said she's going to be a lawyer. He said that Chris had some issues with the whole stealing thing. Howard said that she seems to be over that now though. Howard said that Lila has a great face, great hair and great boobs. Howard said they all have something to offer. Robin said that it depends on what Pete is feeling. Howard said he knows who he would go out with but he's not going to say. He said that he wants Pete to make that decision on his own.
Howard asked the girls if they were all ready to go out with Pete and if anyone wanted to back out. They were all into him and ready to go. Howard said he wanted to make sure that he has a shot at romance. Howard said that they swear they're into him and that doesn't mean it's going to lead to sex. Pete said he knows that.
Pete said he feels he has a connection with one of the girls already. Howard told him not to say it yet. He asked Pete if it's a tall, large nosed man. He asked Fred what he thought about all of this. Fred said he can't make a mistake with any of the three. He said they all have good qualities and it depends on what Pete is into. He said that he doesn't think that Chris would keep him around if she lost her weight. She said that's not true at all. She said she'd like to get to know Pete.
Howard said the one good thing about Dynah is that you get a great handicapped parking spot. Lila said she gets the same thing. She said she gets to go to the front of the line too. Howard said they think she has it tough and she really doesn't. Chris isn't allowed to vote.
Howard asked if the girls like to be spanked. Lila said she does. Dynah said she is if it's the right moment. Chris was into it too. Howard asked if anyone is into gun play. He was just joking about that though.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks about this. Robin said it's all up to Pete but like Fred said, he can't go wrong with any of the 3. Artie said that it would be great if they could combine the 3 and have just one overweight midget in a wheelchair.
Howard asked Pete what he was thinking. Pete said with all due respect to all 3, he was going to pick Dynah. Howard said that was contestant number one in the wheelchair. Howard said that she just wheeled out of there. Dynah said that she was shocked. Pete said he felt he had a connection with her. He said that with the disability thing he feels that he can relate to her. Pete said that's the way he's going to put it.
Robin told Pete to say something to her. Pete said that he chose her because he can relate to her having a disability and that's why he picked her. Howard said that Lila and Chris can bad mouth him now. Lila said she has a disability too and she's looking to be have a relationship. She said that she hopes that it works out for him. Howard asked what was wrong with Chris. Pete said it was nothing at all. He said there was nothing wrong with her at all. Chris said she's happy for him with his choice.
Howard said he had to say something about Dynah. He said that she is very sexy. Howard said that he has to calm down and told him not to blow it with her. Pete said he's going to try. Howard told him to treat her like a princess.
Howard asked Pete if he's already in love with her. Pete said ''yeah!'' Howard asked if he feels love at first sight. Pete said she's very attractive and he has that thing. Howard said that thing is a boner.
Howard said he wishes that he had a prize for the girls. He had a $711 prize that they could split. He gave that to the two who didn't win.
Robin said that they looked very cute together. Pete was staring at Dynah and he said that was his Tourettes kicking in again. Howard asked if Pete should wheel her around. She said she might need help at times but most of the time she's good to go herself. She said she doesn't need him to push her all the time. She said she'll ask him when she needs him to help.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that he would have went with Lila. Howard asked Lila if Jeff could have her number. She said that he was a little too old for her. Howard asked Dynah if she goes for girls at all. She said she's not into that.
another caller said that they must not like Pete. He said that they gave him a choice between a midget, a fatso and a cripple. He said he was just kidding about that but Howard said this guy would be happy with any of the three. Another caller said Pete made the right choice and told him to stick with her and he'd be rolling in dough when she becomes a lawyer.
The caller also pointed out that Pete was sniffling a lot with the Tourettes. Gary said that Pete and Dynah will be going to a Western place and they may be riding a mechanical bull. Pete said Dynah may have a problem with that. She said that she'd figure it out.
Howard said they have Billy Crystal coming in to talk to them. Howard said he's in the green room waiting to come in. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said they have Billy Crystal coming in. He said he's been angry with them for years and he may be coming in to set things right. Billy (an impersonator) came in after that and told Howard that it's about time they bury the hatchet. Howard asked Billy about what was going on with him since they last spoke to him. Billy told Howard about what he's been up to with the movies and things he's been working on. Billy told Robin that she's looking very good.
Billy told Howard that when he's angry things are not fun or funny which was a reference to an old interview they did with him where he said that what they were doing to him wasn't fun or funny.
The Billy impersonator told Howard that he's been busy counting his money and he's been chilling and just watching what's going on with other people. He said that he'd like to have a late night show of his own.
Howard asked Billy if he's with this Twitter thing. Billy told him that the TMZ guys will come up to him and ask questions. He said that guy Stuttering John wasn't fun or funny. He said that he likes jerking off to the pictures that Bubba the Love Sponge's wife posts on Twitter.
Howard said that Billy wasn't really there and this was an impersonator. Howard said it's actually Robert Cait. He said he's been doing the impersonation for many years now. Howard said that Fred still thinks it's Billy though.
Howard asked Robert how he was doing. Robert went into his own voice and told Howard about how Stuttering John used to call him to do the impression for the show and it worked out well for him. Robert said that he did a mini-series years ago and Jackie told him he had to riff off of some stuff and do the voices for them.
Howard asked Robert who else he does. He said he does Norm MacDonald as the Genie on the Fairly Odd Parents cartoon. He did some of that for Howard and it was kind of Norm but not quite. Howard said he would have called him more if he knew he did that impression.
Robert told some stories about hanging out with Norm MacDonald and what that can be like. Howard asked Artie to tell some stories about Norm too. Artie told the story that Colin Quinn told last week when he was on.
They also talked about the Fairly Odd Parents cartoon and how Norm was replaced by a guy who sounds like Norm. Robert said he also does some announcing for a bunch of shows like Jeopardy and for The Price Is Right. He does the voice for Jake the Dog in Bush's Baked Beans commercials too.
Howard said that they must be the only ones calling him for the Billy impressions. Robert said he loves Billy Crystal and he went into some more of his impression.
Howard asked him about doing a Woody Allen impersonation so Robert went into that too. That was about as good as his Billy Crystal impression. He also did some Rodney Dangerfield. He told Howard a story about meeting Rodney one time when he was about 17. He told him about Rodney giving him tickets to a show one time and how great that was.
Howard said that Robert does an impression of Fred too. He went into that and he did sound a bit like Fred. Fred did his impression of him doing the Norm impression too. Robert said he does an impression of Fred doing his Jackie impression too. He did that a bit for Howard and had Robin laughing. That led to Fred doing impressions of Stuttering John.
Howard had him do a Morris the Cat impression. He also heard that he does Boris Badenoff from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. He did some of that and he said that he was hired to do some new stuff. He said they re-recorded some stuff and he did some live stuff too.
Howard said he never knew that Robert was a comedian. He said that he thought he was just some loser who did the Billy Crystal voice. Howard said that Robert has a DVD (Kosher Not Kosher) out now and it's available on amazon.com. He gave him some plugs for that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Billy didn't call into the show when she asked him to. She said that he was a jerk off. Robert went into his Billy impression and spoke to her for a moment but Howard hung up on Mariann.
Another caller said that he was doing great impressions and he was really good. The guy also brought up chess and asked Howard about a guy he had seen playing. They spent a short time talking about chess during that call. Howard said the guy is making money as a professional chess player but they can't maintain a career like that unless they move to Europe where it's a little more appreciated. Howard said that they need to have a team around them to help out. He said the team analyzes the other guy's moves and it's a whole organization that has to support them.
Howard thanked Robert for stopping by and gave him some more plugs. He thanked him for the years when he was calling in as Billy Crystal. He said he provided a great service. He had to go to break after that.
Howard said he was watching the Black Eyed Peas on Saturday Night Live and he thought they were really good. Howard said he likes that Fergie and he used to thing she was bad. Howard said she was really good on SNL and he knows he made a mistake with her in the past thinking that she was someone else.
Howard said that he figures that Fergie must have banged that Will I Am guy. Howard said he must have banged her by now. Howard said that the other two guys look like they've banged her too. Howard said he enjoys their music and their performance on SNL. Howard said Fergie is sexy too and she'd be a great catch. Howard said he thinks he could live with her. Robin said he couldn't live with her, she's sure of that. Howard said he finds her sexy.
Howard said he's seen pictures of her without make up on and she does look a little ratty but she looked good on SNL. That led to Fred playing their song ''Boom Boom Pow.'' Howard said they actually sang and didn't lip sync. He said you have to respect that.
Howard said he had the top 5 and played those songs. Howard played quick clips of each song and he didn't like any of them. Every song had that lame voice effect in it except for that Jay-Z song ''Empire State of Mind.'' Howard said he doesn't get it when guys just keep saying ''Yeah, yeah, yeah'' throughout the song. He said that's what he could do himself. Artie said his girlfriend, who is 25, talks about Jay-Z like they talk about Neil Young.
Howard played the number one song which was ''Fireflies'' and he said that he just doesn't get it. Howard said the guy must be gay, right? Howard said he sounds very effeminate to him. He did an impression and said that you can't write that song and be straight. Howard ended up doing the impression of Michael Jackson that he did yesterday. He was talking about the manly things that Michael never would have talked about doing while writing those songs of his. He also played some of the clips he was goofing on where Michael was creating his song ''Beat It'' in the studio without any instruments. Howard went into his impression as that was playing.
Howard said he and the guys wrote some lines for that ''Billy Crystal'' and he refused to read them. They had some jokes about Fred's face looking like he was attacked by a chimp. He said that they worked hard on that stuff and he refused to read any of the lines. Howard said he didn't read one line.
Howard read some of the lines they wrote for the guy and they were funny and would have been great if he had done them. Howard said that it would have been funny in that Billy Crystal voice. Gary said Will was telling him that he wouldn't read one line about Rihanna because it was about abusing women. Howard said he didn't have to read them all. He said he could have read some. Howard said he actually did read a couple of their lines. He got to those and one of them was the Bubba the Love Sponge joke.
Steve had an update on what the auction for sitting in on the studio is going for. Howard said they're going to cut back on that for a while. He doesn't want to do that kind of stuff for a little while.
Steve said that Greg Fitzsimmons has told them that Jay Leno's monologue is very good and well done. Steve wrapped up after that.
Howard said Jackie called him about doing more radio. He said that he wants to sit down with him to talk about that. Howard said he had to put him off for a couple of weeks and he hasn't heard back from him. He said that Jackie could have had all the radio he wanted if he didn't quit. Howard said that's what he plans on telling Jackie. Howard said he told Jackie he had the best break in the world working for them and now he's looking to do more radio.
Artie went into his guy who laughs at everything character and laughed at Jackie's show ''Joke Hunt'' and how funny that name was. Howard told the guy who laughs at everything that he's going to tell Jackie he had it made when he worked there and he shouldn't have left. They went over that for a few minutes goofing on Jackie. Howard said he should bring Robin to the meeting with Jackie because Robin can get through to him better.
Howard said he will have a meeting with Jackie but it's a bad time to set that up. Robin said it is an odd time of year to be looking for a meting. Howard said that when your family all leaves when you leave radio then you have time to set up meetings around Thanksgiving.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects for today's show. Howard wondered if Pete was still in love with this Dynah girl. Pete came in and said that he was talking to her out in the hall and they were having a good time talking. He said he's going out on the date after he does the Wrap Up Show later. Howard told Pete to remind her that she's in a wheelchair because he thinks that she might get full of herself at times. Howard told Pete to get her number and email too. Howard said that he should lock the wheels on her wheelchair so she can't leave.
Pete said he had a good time doing the dating game. He said he liked the other women too. He said he's never had girls fighting over him like that. He said it was kind of crazy. Howard said Pete looked like he was in love with Dynah after the game. Pete said there was something about her. Howard told him he should go beat one off just in case. He said he bets that she looks good naked too. He said she's like a pixie. He told Pete to act like a man and don't whip out his cock. Jon Hein finished up his Wrap Up Show preview so Howard could move on to the news.
Robin mentioned that Ken Ober died. She said he was the host of MTV's ''Remote Control'' and he was only 52 years old. Howard said he thinks he was on the show. Robin said they did interview him. Artie said he just spoke to him not long ago. Robin said he was a producer for a few shows like Colin Quinn's ''Tough Crowd'' and ''The New Adventures of Old Christine.'' Robin said that they thought it was a hoax at first but it turns out he really is dead.
Robin read a story about Oprah Winfrey having to take a pay cut if she moves her show to cable. Howard said she's had a nice long run already and she must be worth over a billion by now. Howard said he's not sure why she keeps going. Robin said he can't be asking a question like that when someone enjoys what they do. Howard said no one enjoys doing this stuff.
Robin read about Sarah Palin being on Oprah Winfrey's show. She was on to promote her new book. Howard said he had clips from the show to play. He said he had it in long form instead of short clips. Howard played some of the interview and said it was so annoying. Howard said this Sarah Palin is an idiot. She was complaining about her kids not being left alone but meanwhile she's got her kids sitting in the audience and she's the one putting them out there. He said she has no one to blame but herself.
Howard played more of the interview where Palin was talking about her interviews with Katie Couric and complaining that they were badgering her in those interviews. Howard said that she was being thrown softball questions and she's out of her mind. He played more clips of her and kept talking about how nuts she is. Howard said he saw that interview with Katie Couric and there was nothing bad about the questions that she was being asked. Palin was saying that no matter what she said it would have been twisted around. Then Palin was calling Katie ''The perky one'' and being annoyed with her showing up back stage at some event she was at. Howard said that cameras don't get back stage unless someone allows them. He said that interview went on and on. He said it was very irritating. Howard said John McCain committed political suicide by picking that woman to run with him. Howard asked Robin what else she had in the news. Robin read some more about Sarah Palin and her book.
Robin read about how they're now saying that women don't need to get mammograms every year after their 40s. She said they suggest them every other year now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he doesn't get why Howard didn't talk to his friend who bought a Volvo and get him to have SIRIUS in his car before that. Howard said the guy listened at home and he just didn't have it in his car until he bought the Volvo. Howard said he didn't even get what this caller was talking about. Howard gave up on trying to explain it and had Robin get back to her news.
Robin said that one of the people who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart may be pleading guilty to kidnapping today. Robin said the wife might testify against her husband in the case.
Robin read a story about a woman who was arrested for possibly selling her daughter into prostitution. Howard asked what kind of money you get for something like that. Robin didn't have a price list. Howard said you'd think that you'd hold onto the kid yourself and maybe make money on your own. Howard said it's a terrible thing but if you're going to sell the kid you could keep her and make money. Howard said you must be able to make a fortune. Robin said they found the body of the missing 5 year old. The girl was killed. Robin had some more details on that story and said that the mother may have been prostituting her daughter.
Robin had a story about a guy who saw a father shoot his son in the front yard of their house. Robin had some audio of the guy describing what he saw. The father drove off after shooting the kid. Howard wondered where the guy drove to. Robin said she's not sure but they arrested the guy.
Robin read a story about a prostitute blogger who was finally discovered. They found out show she was and found that she was working as a call girl over in England. Robin read that she was doing that to make money to help pay for her education. She was working as a cancer specialist so she was able to get a real job even after being a prostitute.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if there has ever been a show that featured a character with Howard's likeness in it. Howard said he wasn't sure what he was talking about. The guy said that he was wondering if any TV show had a character based on him in it. Howard had to bail on the call, he wasn't able to concentrate on what he meant. Robin explained it to Howard but he still seemed to be out of it and didn't understand. He told them to compile a list of shows that have done that with him.
Robin read a story about a pill that's supposed to be like Viagra for women. Howard said that women don't need that, they just need some lube. Robin said that's not sexual arousal for a woman. Howard said he could take over once she's lubed up. Howard said maybe the women should just switch guys if they can't get aroused.
Robin read about Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen being diagnosed with cancer. She read the details of that story. He's only 56 years old. Howard asked how you can go through life not angry after something like that. Howard said you must wonder what you have to do to avoid something like that. Robin said that he actually beat it about 25 years ago and it came back.
Robin read a story about a guy who died when he lost control of his chain saw. She had some audio of a guy talking about how he had an upper body injury that led to his death. Howard said it sounds like he chopped himself in half. Fred created what that might have sounded like with some chain saw clips and Benjy screaming like a girl.
Robin read about the President of China talking to President Obama about nuclear weapons. She had some audio of Obama talking about that.
Robin had some news about Lou Dobbs leaving CNN. She had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he didn't even know he was on that channel until he read he was making $8 million. Howard said the guy looks like he's got a food in the grave.
Robin asked Howard if he knows what it means to ''unfriend'' someone. Howard said that's on Facebook. Robin said that is the word of the year according to the Oxford Dictionary. They say that it's now a real word in the dictionary.
Robin read that Aaron Carter got kicked off Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he comes off really bad on that show. Howard said he's kind of snotty and arrogant on the show. Robin said he owes the government over a million dollars in back taxes.
Robin said Jon Bon Jovi admitted that he used steroids to perform years ago during an interview on ''Inside the Actors Studio'' on Monday night. Robin said the whole band was on the show with Jon.
Robin read some news about the new ''Twilight Saga: New Moon'' movie and how people are lining up to see it already. She had some other movie news and some clips of various actors talking about what they did in them. Howard didn't let them play for long before cutting them off. Robin had a bunch of clips to play. She had stuff from the guys in Star Trek. She had some Dakota Fanning talking about the New Moon movie and stuff like that.
Robin read some news about Janet Jackson blaming the doctor for her brother's death. Robin said that they have an interview coming out where Janet talks about that.
Robin also had some Whitney Houston news. She's going to be performing on a couple of shows soon. She was done with her news after that and Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
Jon said that Pete was kind of out of control today. Gary said he really was snorting, kicking and making noises today. He said that he was kind of out of control.
Gary said that they have a lot of things going on in the office and Pete will get in between them and block them when they're talking. Will said that he'll move when they ask him to and he'll say he's sorry like he's doing you a favor.
Jon asked the guys if they think Pete chose who they thought he was going to pick. Gary said he thought he was going to go for Chris. He said that the little person was really adorable and he didn't mean it in the way she didn't like. He said that she was adorable like some chicks are hot.
Benjy said he thought he picked the wrong girl. He said that he thinks that she's not looking for a relationship. He thinks that the little adorable girl was into it and she would have been the right pick. Benjy said he felt that the middle girl was about to fall apart and she wasn't ready for a relationship. Gary said he thought she was on the better side of things. Benjy said he thinks that when you're that heavy you have major issues. Will asked him what his problems are then. Benjy said he did have problems. Gary asked him what they were. Benjy said when you over eat you have problems. He wasn't saying what they were though. Benjy said he would eat for any reason.
Jon said that it sounds like he's saying that anyone who is fat has a problem. Benjy said that's what he was saying. Benjy went on to say that Lila would have been the right pick for Pete.
Jon said that Pete was saying that he clicked with that Dynah girl pretty early on. He said that he might be getting a little ahead of himself on that though. They weren't sure if she was going to be into him as much as he seemed to be into her.
Jon said he hopes to get Pete in there at some point. They talked about how skinny the guy is and said that he's like 118 pounds at 5'6'' tall.
A caller said that the dating game was very good today and they really pulled it off. The guy also asked Benjy to ask out Brittany Bock from Howard TV so they end up as Brittany Bock Bronk. Benjy said he wasn't even sure who that was so the guys had to fill him in on what she does for Howard TV.
Another caller asked if Pete was intimidated by the girl who was in jail or by her age. Gary said he didn't seem to be bothered by anything. Will said that he said he had a connection with Dynah so that's why he picked her.
Jon played a clip where Pete made his pick during the dating game. Pete dragged it out for quite a while. After the clip the guys talked about how they'll be getting a recap tomorrow and they were speculating on how it might go. Benjy said he thinks they'll have a nice time but they don't live close together so it may not last.
Pete came in so Jon asked him what kind of connection he had with this Dynah chick. Pete said that it was something to do with the disability thing. He said that they will kind of be on a common ground when it comes to that.
Gary asked Pete if Lila was ever in the mix. Pete said he had to say something. He said that he was intimidated by the other two. Pete said that they were coming on to him a little too much and it was a lot of pressure on him. He said that he got a bad vibe from them. He said he thinks that they wanted him to pick them and he had more pressure on him because of that. Gary said that they all wanted him to pick them. Pete said he felt threatened by the two of them. Pete said it was like they almost wanted him to pick them on the spot. He said Dynah was more reserved and he liked that.
Jon asked what he means by intimidating. Pete said that they were trying too hard and it almost seemed like it wasn't about him. He said it was more about winning the game. Pete said Lila had a lot going on for her size though.
Jon asked if the girls were locking in on him and trying to get his attention. Pete said that Dynah felt pretty cool to him so that's one of the reasons he picked her. He said she wasn't intimidating at all.
Jon said he seemed pretty smitten with her and maybe he was thinking there might be something long term there. Pete said he felt good about it.
Pete said that they're going out to lunch at some Western bar and they'll be riding a mechanical bull so that should be interesting. Jon asked what kind of moves he's going to make. Pete said he's going to ask her what's up. That's about all he had. Gary said that it is a first date so if he comes on too strong it might be too much.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Pete he was awesome today. He said he was surprised by who he picked. He said that the winner is when the woman says that she likes giving oral but doesn't like taking it.
Pete said he didn't have a problem with Chris being overweight. He said that she was talking about losing the weight so at least she was conscious about it.
Another caller told Pete not to smother that chick and don't be too needy. He also asked about where the little person lived. The guys said that she was from Connecticut. the caller said that it would have been nice if they lived closer. He thought that they said she was from Canada.
Will asked Pete what he was talking to Dynah about in the green room. He said he was asking her if she wanted something to drink. He didn't say they talked about much of anything else though.
Jon asked Pete if anyone gave him a hard time after the segment. Pete said Fred told him not to break her heart. He said that was in a joking way though. He said he wouldn't break her heart. Pete said that's not part of who he is.
Dynah came in a short time later so Jon asked her how she was doing. She said she's looking forward to the date. Jon asked her what they talked about in the green room. She said Pete was very thoughtful asking her if she wanted something to drink. She said they're just getting to know each other. She said that Pete is holding his own so far. She said that it's coming out and he's doing okay. Jon asked Pete what he thought about that. Pete didn't seem to know what to say. He said he's just playing it suave like the guys told him to. Jon told him he can't be silent though and he has to find a middle ground.
Another caller said that he wanted to wish them luck on their date. He said that he thinks that Lila should be a permanent fixture on the show. Will asked if they should hang her on the wall or something. That got some laughs from the guys.
Jon asked Jon if he's ever gone out with anyone who had a disability before. Pete said this is the first time. He said he's been out on a date with a girl before but just the one girl. Jon asked what he plans on doing after the date. Pete didn't have an answer for that.
The guys asked Dynah if she ever makes the first move on guys. She said that she has done that. The guys asked if she has time to date with the school she has to do. She said she probably shouldn't be there right now because of that. She said she has a lot of stuff to do and she needs to learn it and learn it in a deeper way than she did when she was an undergrad. She said she's handling it pretty well so far.
Chris called in and said she was sorry that Pete felt she was coming on too strong. Jon said this seems to be one of the most supportive dating games they've had on the show. Gary said that everyone seems to be being genuine. Will asked Chris if she would give Pete a second chance if things don't work out with Dynah. She said she would but she's not sure Pete would give her a second chance.
Gary said he knows Howard talked to Chris about finding a job and how hard that was. He asked if she has a hard time finding a boyfriend. Chris said she hasn't had to do that yet but she would probably bring it up in the first month of the relationship. She wouldn't want to get too serious before bringing it up.
Benjy asked Chris about getting oral and if she liked it. She said that she has had it done but she just doesn't like it. She said she likes intercourse though. Benjy said he doesn't believe that and he thinks that it's a psychological thing.
Jon let Chris go and took another call. The caller asked which of the three girls was the prettiest. Gary said Dynah was the prettiest. The caller asked if that's why Pete picked her. Pete said that did play into the equation a little bit. He said that maybe 35 percent of it was based on her looks. Will said Pete is like a chick who clams that she dates a guy for his sense of humor but ends up with a guy who looks like Brad Pitt. They had to go to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wasn't sure why Howard canceled the Secret Santa thing because he seemed to love it the first year and hated it the second year. He said that Howard meant to say that ''he'' was the one who didn't like the whole thing and it wasn't other people. Gary said that's why it's the Howard Stern Show.
Another caller asked why they let Pete see the girls during the game. Will said they weren't sure how they were going to do it until the last minute. They were going to have a curtain up but Howard decided that they should let them all see each other.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that Pete could end up getting his heart broken in this whole thing. Jon said that sometimes you can't avoid that happening. Gary said that Pete has been hanging out with Ronnie and Shuli outside of the show and he thinks that he can hold his own with a woman. Jon said that if he doesn't work there anymore he'd still be able to find a woman.
Will said he knows for a fact that a chick asked Pete to go home with her that night he did the comedy show with Shuli. He doesn't know if she was hot or not.
Jon asked the caller how he thinks Pete will take it if it doesn't go well. The caller said it can be bad if he's never had girlfriend's before and he doesn't know what to expect. He said it's going to be real tough for him.
Another caller said that he thinks that everyone on the show dates out of their league. Gary said that might be true at least for the people who married while being on the show. The caller also said that Pete is going to take it really hard if this wheelchair chick doesn't work out.
The caller said he thinks that Pete is trying to please Howard with all of his answers. Gary was trying to find out if he got the impression from the girls that they were star fuckers or if they really wanted the date. The caller said that he got the impression that they were in the closet star fuckers. He said that they could ask the girls if they called into do other dating games with the show. Will said that Dynah actually found out about the date from a friend and she's not even a fan of the show.
A caller asked if they thought that Pete would have made the same choice if he hadn't seen the girls. Gary said that he knew what he was dealing with before the girls got there. Gary said he knew what the pool was that he was dealing with. Jon said he thought he would have picked her. Will said he thinks Pete would have picked someone else. The caller thought the same thing and said it probably would have been Chris if he hadn't seen them.
Another caller asked if they noticed the similarity between Pete's voice and Sam Kinison's voice. The guys pretended they had never heard that before. They take calls about that every Wrap Up Show that they talk about Pete. Gary said he doesn't hear it. The caller asked how hot the midget chick was. Gary said she was cute. He said he would have given her an 8.
A caller asked if the other interns there have more animosity toward Pete now that he's getting the air time. Will said that a lot of the guys realize what it takes to get on the air so they're not that upset about it. Steve Brandano said that they'll be talking about that on the Intern Show tomorrow night. He said he thinks there is some jealousy there and they just won't talk about it. Will said some of the interns are trying to set him up with a date but Pete is blowing them all off. Steve said Pete doesn't even know the other intern's names. He said they had someone covering for Pete and Pete didn't know the guy's name.
A caller asked about why they didn't have any pictures of the chicks on the web site. Gary said they were going to do the segment differently and they didn't have time to do it. Will said they made some changes at the end and they weren't sure how they were going to do it. The caller said that they should have put pictures up there when they were done then. Gary said they didn't have any to put up there. The caller said Jason blew it then.
Jon asked Will why Robert didn't read the lines that they gave him. Will said that he didn't like some of the lines and he refused to read some of them.
Jon said he did a good Norm and they found out that he's the one doing the voice on the Fairly Odd Parents. Gary said he didn't know that he knew both of the guys who did the voices on that show.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Benjy and how he was complaining about going to Robin's charity gig and how he has an issue with giving money back. Benjy said he would like to give money and know where it's going. He said that he's given money to friends who needed it and things like that. He said there are a million things to give to and Robin's thing is worthy but he'd rather go for free and give to someone else if he had a choice.
The caller challenged Benjy to put together his own event for something he's passionate about and do that. He said that it would be some charity. Gary put the squash on that and said that the bit won't be wonderful. He said that Benjy is going to do something ridiculous if he's challenged.
Ralph called in and asked if he has to buy something at the charity event tomorrow. Jon told him that Robin said they don't require anyone to buy anything. Jon asked if anyone thinks that Robin isn't banging that guy now. Ralph interrupted and told Benjy he shouldn't feel obligated to buy something at the charity event because Robin knows that he won't be buying anything himself.
Gary asked Ralph if he heard what Sam Simon said about Robin's new friend and how he seems to have replaced him. Ralph said he did hear that and it was very funny. He said he's not sure what Robin is doing and she hasn't told him anything about that guy. He said if she did tell him he'd probably blurt it out on the air. He said his guess is ''yes'' though. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show complaining that Fred didn't tell him the music was playing. Fred said he did and he must not have heard him. Howard said he was tired again from not getting any sleep last night. He said he's been pulling what Robin does by staying up late.
Howard said he went to a benefit for autism last night. He said he saw a bunch of films about autism and there was one kid who said he was autistic and he looked fine to him. He said he seemed way more together than all of his guys. Howard said he's not sure what this autism does but that one kid seemed fine. Robin said maybe he's a result of what they're raising money for. Howard said he knows it's bad because people were so passionate about this whole thing.
Howard and Robin talked about some of the stuff that autistic kids do that makes them autistic. Howard said this event he was at had something to do with Mel Karmazin. That led to Howard talking about how he doesn't know if Mel is the owner of the company or not. He thought he was but he wasn't sure about that. Howard said he's been there for like 4 years now and he doesn't even know who he's working for. Howard said they had this guy come in and throw money at the company this year so he has 40 percent of the company. Howard said that guy has a major stake in the company but he's not sure who he's working for anymore.
Robin read that Mel has 32 million shares or something like that. Howard said that sounds like he's one of the owners. Robin said he might be one of them but he's not the sole owner. Howard said he might own some of the company himself. He doesn't even know. He said he has a lot of stock in the company but he had thoughts of it being like $10 per share. He didn't know it was going to be 5 cents at one point.
Howard said he used to hear from the two guys that owned the company but he doesn't even hear form those guys anymore. Howard said it's like it's him and Mel again. Howard said Mel must have squeezed those guys out. Howard said Mel is a good guy though.
Howard said Mel called him up and told him to come to this charity event. He said he does a lot of charity events. Howard said Mel must work with a lot of autistic people in the radio industry. Howard said Mel is a friend so he went to this benefit. They had Jerry Seinfeld and Bruce Springsteen performing at Carnegie Hall. He figured he'd go and bring Beth with him. He said that Beth likes to go out and dress up so it was a good way to get out of the house. Howard said he had to ask Mel if he could leave early. Mel was fine with that.
Howard said he thought he was going to be sitting at a table at this event and didn't realize it was like a theater. He said he wasn't thinking when Mel told him he was going to be sitting next to Bob Kraft who owns the New England Patriots.
Howard said he got to the event and it was great that it started at 7:30. He said Bob Wright from NBC made a speech and talked about dealing with autism in his family. Howard said Bob's wife was there and she had a really nice necklace on. He didn't know what Bob did to make that kind of money.
Howard said Bruce Springsteen came out after Bob Wright. Howard said whatever Bruce is doing for a work out is working for him. Howard said the workout he's doing isn't working at all. He said he has cellulite and his ass and legs look like a woman. He's not sure how Beth fucks him. He said he's vile. He thanked all of the women that have had sex with him in the past. He said he's never seen the physique that he has. He doesn't look that great.
Howard said Bruce Springsteen did four songs and he wanted more but that was all he did. Howard said he really likes Bruce now. He's become a big fan. Howard said he hates the harmonica though. He doesn't like that instrument. Howard said Bruce did a great job other than that. He said he didn't know what songs they were though. Howard said he did Thunder Road as the last song and he liked that one. He said he's not sure if he does it acoustically all the time but this time he did.
Howard asked Fred to look up the song and see if he had an acoustic version. Artie and Gary helped him find a version and it was from MTV's Unplugged. Fred played that version of the song and Howard talked over most of it. Howard said the song is beautiful and it was really special to see it live. Howard said it might be the highlight of his life.
Howard said he liked the first song Bruce did but he didn't know the name of it. Howard said he took a picture with his Blackberry and it was horrible. He sent it to Ross anyway. He said that he liked that he was somewhere that Ross wasn't to see Springsteen. Robin said that Ross wasn't able to get into a VIP area at one show and he had a fit over that.
Howard said that Jerry Seinfeld came out and talked about how life sucks for everyone but maybe a little less for some people. Howard said that you get pumped up thinking about how you get to see a show like that and other people don't. He said it was very good and Jerry did about an hour up there.
Howard said Bob Kraft is a great guy. He said people were coming up to him at the show and telling him that they were other team fans but they liked Bob anyway. Howard said Bob told him he gets that kind of stuff every day. The fans will tell Bob that they're fans of other teams. Howard said Scott Greenstein was at the event too but he was sitting off to the side of the stage. He said he liked that he had better seats than Scott did. He said he would have been pissed if he didn't.
Howard said he's not sure how big of a fan of Sprinsteen's Bob Kraft is. He said he must have been a fan though. Howard said Bob was impressed with Bruce and with Jerry being able to do an hour of material without notes. Howard said that's what their job is and they have to remember all of that material.
Howard said he was freaking out the whole time he was there because it was getting late. Howard said Springsteen was done quick by about 8:30 and then Jerry was up until about 9:30 so he had to get going so he could get to sleep. Howard said he was in the 4th row so he had to stay put until the end of the show.
Howard said he wasn't really tired at the show. He said he just worries about getting tired. He got home and he was still wide awake. Robin said that everything he does like that turns out to be miserable. Howard said he told Beth that he's not a player and he just can't do stuff like that in the middle of the week.
Howard said they asked him if he wanted to walk the red carpet at the event and he said he would but then Mel asked him to come up with him. He said he just wanted to go to his seats though so that's what he and Beth did. Howard said he asked a woman how he could get to his seat so he wouldn't be a pain in the ass. Howard said he went up with Mel. He said some broad came up to him and said that he was going to have to leave this area. He said that she had to get her talent out of that area. Howard said he didn't listen to her and kind of swatted her away like a fly. Howard said they brought him into the room and then told him he had to leave.
Howard said he felt like they just brought him into this room just to kick him out. Howard said Mel had run off to take some pictures and all he was doing was standing there. Howard said every time he goes out it's a mess. Howard said Mel was even saying that he was sorry he invited him to the event because he knew he was going to hear about it on the show the next day. Mel said he wasn't going to tune in because of that.
Howard said this fucking Yenta was yelling at him to get out of there and he wouldn't even look at her. Howard said he was in front of his wife and this fuckin' fat Yenta was telling him to get out of the room because he was blocking talent. Howard said he wanted to punch her. He said he should have told her he had autism.
Howard said this woman walked up to him and handed him an autism button for taking pictures. The button had a pin and he didn't want to stick it in his new suit that he had just gotten. He said he didn't want to do that and ruin the suit so he asked Beth what to do. Robin said Howard is very funny. Beth told him he had to put it in there if he was going to take pictures. Howard said he never put it in and they never took his picture anyway. Howard said maybe they didn't want him associated with the event.
Howard said they dragged him into this room and then this fat Yenta is yelling at him. He said he was in front so his wife and it was embarrassing. Howard said the woman told him that he had to leave the area even though there were 9,000 other people in the area. He said she didn't say anything to anyone else. Howard said he refused to talk to her. Robin said she didn't believe this happened. Howard told Gary to get Beth on the phone then.
Howard said he didn't want to be in that room but he didn't know where to go. Howard said finally this young lady came over and escorted him out to the area where they had to sit. He said that's all he wanted. He said this woman took his ticket and she marched him to his seat and she walked away with his tickets. Howard said Bob Kraft didn't know where to sit either so he just sat next to him. Then a kid came along and told him that he was in his seat and asked to see his tickets. Howard said the lady had taken his tickets so he didn't know where to sit. Howard said Bob had his tickets so they moved up to those seats. They sat them in the wrong area so he didn't know what the hell was going on.
Howard had Beth on the phone so he got to her. Beth told Robin that her stomach was in knots the whole night last night. She said that she's never going out on a school night again. Beth told Robin that there was a lady telling them to leave the room. Beth said that they were brought into this area and they had to go up 3 flights of stairs. Beth said that they brought them up and then they had to walk all the way down again. Howard said he didn't want to be in the VIP area.
Beth said a woman asked them to do the ''step and repeat'' which was the red carpet. Howard said he didn't even know what that meant. Beth knew so Howard said he would do that for Mel. They went back up the 3 flights of stairs. She said they were standing there and she knew that Howard was uncomfortable. They were outside of the room that they did the step and repeat in. Then this woman came running out and said she had talent in there and everyone had to leave but they were the only ones standing there. Howard said there were 90 people in the room and this woman was telling them to leave.
Beth said they avoided that woman because the other woman told them to stay. Then the other woman came out and told Howard he had to leave. She directed it right at Howard. Beth said it was directed right at Howard and at no one else.
Howard said this was in front of his wife! Howard said they had plenty of room for the talent. Beth said they had to go down the stairs again after that. Then they got the wrong seats and had to move. Howard said that the young kid was yelling at him to move and he didn't have the tickets to figure out where he had to sit.
Beth said it was a nice event last night and they had a great time other than that. Howard said he was very gracious about the concert. He said he did enjoy that part.
Beth said he likes that they didn't spend 2 hours with videos and they got to the concert after a short time. She said they did that the right way.
Howard said he knows Beth gets a knot in her stomach when they go out. He said she has to put up with him. He said he knew they weren't going to have any food at the event so he ate before they left. Howard said Beth ordered him some food to eat before they left. He said Beth didn't eat and she was complaining about being hungry the whole night.
Howard said he'd like to be able to go out with his wife sometimes during the week but he can't. Beth gets to go to a lot of stuff he doesn't go to. Howard said that Beth is going to Robin's charity thing tonight. Mel is going to be there too.
Robin said she knows a person who had a house built in the Hampton's and they had to move out because it wasn't done right.
Howard said he was looking at the mirror in his closet and wondered how Beth can have sex with him. Beth said he looks great to her. Howard said there's something wrong with the mirror then. Beth asked if she should get naked and stand in front of it. Howard said it must be a fun house mirror. He told her to get naked in front of it and test it out.
Howard said they haven't even been able to try out the new bed because they've been so tired. Beth said she wanted to do it but Howard was exhausted. Howard said they're both exhausted. He said that he just can't stay up. He said there was no romance last night.
Beth said she didn't see Howard leave this morning. Howard wished Beth luck at the North Shore Animal League thing today. She's helping to clean up some animals from a puppy mill today. He let her go after that.
Howard said he really wanted to smack this woman in the head last night. He was really irritated by her telling him to leave. Howard went off on her for a couple more minutes. He said they never even took his picture after asking him to put that pin on. He said he really can't go anywhere.
Howard said this woman had to have known who he was but she never did say his name. Fred was wondering about that. Howard said that things always go bad when he goes out to events like this. Fred said he doesn't go to them a lot so that doesn't help.
Howard said everything bothers him when he goes out. Then Beth is worried that he's having a bad time so she gets uptight too. Robin said that they have no idea how bad it is with Howard out like that. She said that they worry about Howard having a bad time so it's a bad night for all of them. Robin said it's nerve wracking when you're out with Howard.
Howard said he knows he's bad to go out with. Robin said she will never go out with him to an event during the week like that. Howard said people just focus on him in a negative way. Robin said that it never happens to anyone else. Howard just attracts that stuff for some reason. Howard said he didn't want Mel to have to worry about him last night so he didn't bother him about any of that stuff.
Howard said he enjoyed Bruce Springsteen and he'd love to have him come into the studio and do a little show for them. Howard said the guy is apparently too good for them. Howard said he took that picture of Bruce and BBM'd it to Ross and Ross wrote back ''Bruuuuuuce.'' Howard said he felt good that Ross wasn't there and he was.
Howard said Ross and Gary are going to another Springsteen concert this week so Ross isn't missing out on too many shows.
Howard said that he tried to go to sleep last night and the pipes were clanging and it was driving him nuts. He said the sounds of the pipes are like a fish tank at times and then it clangs. He said someone told him that's just what the building does. Howard said it's only like that in one room though.
Fred played some clanging sounds that Howard swore were just like the sounds in his apartment. Howard said it was even louder than Fred was making it. He said he thinks that maybe Regis is doing metal work at night there in the building. Fred said maybe Regis is a blacksmith.
Howard said that he's been in a couple of apartments in that building and they didn't make that noise. He said it's just this one.
Robin said she was tired and had a hangover this morning. She said she went out to dinner last night with some friends and had a good time. Howard said he feels bad for Robin. He said Robin talks about these ''great restaurants'' all the time. Howard said Jerry Seinfeld had a great bit about that in his stand-up last night. Howard said he was talking about how everyone knows the ''great'' restaurants in the city. Howard told Robin about that routine he did.
Howard said Jerry did a routine about people who use Blackberry's and how rude they can be. Howard talked about that and how his daughter has that move where she reads her Blackberry. Howard said that's more interesting to her than he is. Robin said it's a real problem. Howard said she'll turn to him and ask him to repeat what he said because it sounded kind of interesting.
Fred said his 7 year old is learning to use that kind of stuff already. He said she can make phone calls and stuff like that. Howard said that Jerry was really good with that material last night. He said he has tons of material there.
Howard said the event last night was very nice. He appreciates that Mel invited him to go. Howard said he had a good time with Bob Kraft too. He said he told Bob that he really doesn't care about football but he was going to say that his team was the one he was his last night.
Howard said he was trying to watch a DVD last night on his computer but it froze up. He said he was trying to watch that Jon Bon Jovi interview on Inside the Actors Studio. He said James Lipton must put a lot of work into that moustache he has. Howard said his laptop froze up so he gave up on watching that. He watched ''This is Beetle'' episode 3 instead. He said he loves that episode. He said that's the one where Beet is helping his manager Bobby train for boxing. Howard said he loved that but that one froze up too. He said Artie's DVD froze up after that.
Howard said he's not sure why everything is screwing up like that. He said that the laptop he has is from China so maybe there's some Chinese guy messing with him or something.
Howard got in a mention of the Cougar dating game that they're doing soon. They're still looking for contestants.
Howard said they have the new Miss Howard TV coming in today. Howard said he was looking at her last night and she looks great.
Howard said he sees this one famous woman once in a while in person and she looks like a train ran over her face and had the Elephant Man shit on it. In the pictures she looks like a super model. Howard said that Robin will never figure out who he's talking about. He said some day he'll mention her name on the show but he's keeping that quiet for now. Howard said if Robin figures out who it is he's going to give her something very special. He said she's going to get it from him.
Howard said that if you get airbrushed that much then you should tape that picture to your face and walk around. He said the woman doesn't look anything like she does in the magazine picture.
Howard said he's not sure why Oprah and Ellen are getting along so well but they get their pictures airbrushed too. Howard said Oprah had Ellen on her show and they were all hanging out and talking. Robin said Ellen and Portia were on Oprah for the whole hour.
Howard said he's sure that Ellen wants a penis. He said that she probably tugs on that clit of her's trying to turn it into a penis. He said she'll probably be the next one to ''Chaz out.'' He had some fun talking about that and then said he had to take a break.
Howard said they have Yucko the clown coming in today. He wasn't sure why they were having him in. Gary said he wasn't sure either but he thinks that Yucko just wore them down. Will came in and said that Yucko had some good stories to tell but then last night he said he was making a bunch of them up. Howard said they may not have anything to talk to the guy about. Gary said that they need new, interesting stuff and they might not have that today. Howard said he might just give Yucko 5 minutes on mic and he'll go to the bathroom while he's doing that. Howard said if he's lying to them about the stories he has then they have to punish him.
Robin said she likes the Yucko who went after the DC sniper. Howard said he's got to be straight with the guy and tell him he can't be lying to Will about his stories. He said he'll give him the 5 minutes and just leave the studio while Yucko is doing his thing. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he had some new speeches from that pastor who called Obama a Long Legged Mack Daddy. He said he'd get to that later.
Howard said Benjy just told him that James Lipton is 83 years old. Howard said the guy is in good shape. Howard said Mike Wallace is 91. He said he looks good for his age too. Andy Rooney is 90 but he's disturbing to look at. Howard said someone needs to tell him to clip his nails because they're really disturbing to watch. Howard said he still enjoys watching him though.
Gary said Any Rooney did a bit about going to the Super Bowl and he was on camera standing up and he's all hunched over and very short now. He said it must be hard to do that stuff when you get older.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said she saw the new Miss Howard TV, Reby Sky, and she had the flattest stomach she's ever seen. Howard showed some pictures of her to the guys and said that she's full blown lesbo right now. Howard said that she's been in a lesbian relationship for 2 years now.
Lisa said that Scott Ferrall is down for a few days with a double hernia. He's been doing a lot of sit-ups, push-ups and aggressive karate lately. Howard said he had a lot of injuries from karate when he was doing it. He said that he had to stop because of all of the injuries. Howard said guys can be assholes because they have to be really good at dumb things like that. Howard said he thinks that he can kick someone's ass by doing the little bit of karate he did.
Howard said he goes into the bathroom and he punches the plastic toilet seat holder like he's doing karate and he hurts his hand every time. He said he just sucks at karate. Howard said he would spar with the teacher and he knew that he'd get his ass kicked if he got into a real fight. Howard said he would go so hard at it and he had a groin pull for weeks when he'd do that.
Howard said this nudnik Ferrall has injured himself trying to be a manly guy. Howard said that he can feel the pain from the little punches he just showed to the guys in the studio. Howard said he did take down Gary Busey that one time though.
Lisa said Scott went to the hospital and they took care of him there. He's going to be doing his show live from his home in bed. Howard said Scott will probably sound like a completely different person doing the show from home. He did an impression of Scott without that gravely voice of his. He said he'll be the new subdued Ferrall.
Lisa said they'll be at the charity event that Robin is doing tonight. She said they have some Bubba the Love Sponge news too. They're doing some charity work as well.
Lisa said the Superfan Roundtable is doing a live broadcast from Sutton Place in Manhattan. Howard said they should do a show like that themselves sometime. Howard said he knows they'll never do that.
Howard asked Wheels if he blew his disability money on gambling. Wheels told him to watch what he says on the air because people listen. Artie said that he won $500 from Wheels and he hasn't seen the money yet. Wheels said that he's going to get it to him he just needs a week or so. Artie said he knew this was going to happen. Howard said no one ever pays Artie when they owe him money.
Howard told Wheels not to be if he doesn't have the money. Artie told him if he doesn't have it then he doesn't have to pay him. Wheels said that he's going to get it to him in a week or so and he's going to give it to him as a money order. He said he didn't want to bother him by coming up there. Howard told him he has permission to come up there to give it to him. Howard told him he had to get going because he has a girl there. Wheels told Howard to give it to Beth hard as he was hanging up.
Howard asked Reby if she ever goes to the beach in a bikini. She said that people don't pay attention to her at the beach actually. Howard said she's got a great body and a great face. She said she did some modeling for Playboy for one of the special editions in 2007.
Howard told her that she had nice boobs. She said they're only a B-cup but Howard told her they fit her body. Howard asked to see her tramp stamp tattoo. He said he loved it when she showed it to him.
Howard asked Reby about her lesbian relationship. She said she thinks she's more Bi than lesbian. Howard said that she's been in a 2 year relationship with a woman though. She said that is pretty lesbian isn't it? Howard asked if she's doing the whole thing licking her and all. She said that they are. Howard asked if she tongues her ass and stuff. She said that they do it all.
Reby told Howard she met this girl while at a photo shoot. Reby is a photographer and the other woman was a model. She said she was attracted to her right away. Howard asked if she got all wet when she saw this chick. She said that is what happened.
Howard asked how long it took before she started licking the other chick. She said that it wasn't the same day they met. She said the other woman slept over a few times and then one night she wouldn't go to sleep and they kissed. She said the other girl made the move on her. Reby said that she hadn't been with a girl in a really long time before that. Reby said that the other girl is on her boobs most of the time. Howard asked what she does to them. She said that you stroke them. Howard asked Reby how long it takes to get her off. Reby said she finishes pretty quickly.
Howard said that Reby is known as the Giants girl because she wears a Super Girl outfit to the games and she gets on camera a lot. Reby said she goes to the games all over the place. She said that she doesn't wear skimpy stuff but it is a Superman outfit. Artie said that he's seen this girl on TV before. Reby said she loves the Giants and she never did it for the TV attention.
Howard had some questions about the Giants to make sure she's really a fan. He asked her how many Super Bowls they've won, what year they joined the NFL and things like that. She knew some of the questions and it did seem that she was a huge fan. Artie knew the answers to the questions that Reby didn't. Reby said she was very nervous so she was having trouble remembering.
Howard asked Reby about her tan and found out she goes to a tanning salon. Howard said there must be guys drilling holes in the wall to watch her tan.
Howard read that Reby had her first lesbian experience at 15. She had a 49 year old boyfriend recently and she broke up with him because he didn't want to commit to her. Howard said that guy must have been nuts not to want to commit to her. Reby said that she's a very jealous person and he's a photographer too so that wasn't going to work. She said that he was also married before and he got burned. Howard read that she was bringing women home to the guy too. Howard said that's nuts that he didn't want to commit.
Howard asked Reby what the guy did when she brought the girls home. She said he would just sit and watch them doing stuff. She said they never did a threesome, he would just watch. She said that he was very shy so he wouldn't get in on it. Howard asked if he ever said he wanted to bang her right then after watching. She said that he may have thought that but he never interrupted them. Howard said that he'd have to stick it somewhere if he was watching that. She said that he would after they were done.
Howard said he was reading about Reby's childhood and she was institutionalized a few times. She was a problem child according to her mother. Reby said that her mother was older when she had her and she was just being a normal teenager. Reby said that they had to hold her for 48 hours when they'd put her in there. Reby said she was just an angsty teenager though. She said that she was a bit of a wild child though.
Howard said Reby got married at 16 and that lasted 3 years before she found that he was cheating on her. Howard said she beat him up so bad he ended up in the hospital. Howard said he bets she could beat him up too. She said that he'd better not cheat on her. Howard said he wouldn't cheat on her.
Reby told Howard that the guy cheated on her a bunch of times and she ended up getting so mad she threw a pyramid at his head. She said that was the end of that marriage. She said that they're still friends though.
Howard read about the stuff Reby likes and she likes anal and to use a strap-on with her girlfriend. Reby said they do anal on each other with the strap-on. She said it's typically not anal but they do use the strap-on. Artie asked why she doesn't just find a guy. She said it's hard to find the right guy.
Howard said Reby likes guys who are older than her. He thought she liked guys who were 30 years older than her but she actually said she likes guys who are at least 30 years old.
Reby told Howard that she doesn't like her nose and people make fun of that. Howard said her nose looked perfect to him. Artie agreed. Howard said he likes that she goes to Giants games to get on TV. She said she doesn't do it just to get on TV. She doesn't get on TV every game either.
Howard said they're very lucky to have her as the new Miss Howard TV. He gave her some plugs and read some more details about her getting into a fight with some cops and getting some jail time for that. Reby said that she was trying to hide a gift for her boyfriend and they had pulled her over with the lights flashing and all. Shea said that her tail light was out and they pulled her over and she told the cops to back the fuck off and that was it. Howard said the cops claim she was belligerent and wouldn't listen to them.
Howard gave Reby a plug for her web site RebySky.com. Mike Gange came in and told Howard that he got to see her change in the green room. He said she looked great. They asked her to take her top off but she didn't want to do it. Gary told her that they have a great vibrator there and told her about the Sybian. She wasn't interested in doing that though. Howard wrapped up with her after that. He was wondering how she makes money though. She said she works for an online sports thing.
Howard asked Reby some more questions about who she was married to and if he was a millionaire. She said that the guy was 18 and he lived at home. Howard said that's what the guys told him. He's not sure where they got that information. Howard wrapped up a short time later and let her go.
Howard and Artie were talking about how she's nuts to think about getting a boob job and a nose job. Artie said that women are nuts.
Howard said that it must be more fun to do movies. Chevy said they're 15 hour days and the show is only 21 minutes long. Howard said they must do a lot of waiting around. Chevy said that's part of it. He said that the show is an ensemble piece so you have to be in almost every shot. He said it's not waiting around that much and he has a pretty large part in it so it is what it is.
Howard asked if it's hard to remember the lines. Chevy said it's really not that hard for him. Howard said it's tough for him. He said he must be retarded. Chevy said Howard is actually a beautiful man.
Chevy said he can't stand it out in L.A. He said he likes it in New York better. That somehow led to them talking about Beverly D'Angelo and how she's mad at Howard. Gary said she wasn't happy with the way they treated Chevy in the past.
Howard said that it seems that everyone has rediscovered Chevy Chase now that he's on the show. Chevy said that the kids he works with are good actors and they play their parts well. He said the show isn't a huge success but it's about as successful as NBC is. Howard asked if he thinks that the Jay Leno show is ruining it for them. Chevy said that the show is a mistake and he's never really been a Jay Leno fan. He said it wasn't good for Conan and he thinks that they should settle with Jay and let him go. Howard asked if he thinks they should give Jay his show back. Chevy said he thinks that they should give him a soap opera or something.
Chevy said he likes Craig Ferguson and David Letterman. He said he never found Jay that funny. He said he's got nothing against the guy but he was never drawn to him. He said his show not getting ratings isn't helping them out. Chevy said that it doesn't lead in well to the news around the country so it hurts the network. That's the reading he said he's getting out of it. He said he can't imagine them taking the show away from Conan. He said that they may never know what Conan could have done if Jay wasn't on at 10.
Howard asked Chevy about Johnny Carson being a friend of his. Chevy told him he used to hang out with Johnny and some other celebrities. He said they'd play cards and crack each other up.
Howard asked Chevy about the kids he works with and if they get the old Saturday Night Live stuff. He said that they might get it from the movies he's done but they may not have seen the old SNL stuff. That led to them talking about Bill Murray and one of the things they're auctioning off for the charity thing. Chevy said one of them is a golf game with him and Bill Murray. Howard said you can find out more about that at CharityBuzz.com. That's also where you can find out about the auction for the studio visit there on the show. Chevy said that's one of the biggest things they have on the site. He thanked Howard very much for that.
Howard asked how sex was going with his wife Janie. Chevy said it was good and they were doing it right then. Howard said that he's doing good work with the charity thing and thanked him for calling in. Chevy said they have a bunch of great things up for auction on the site. He mentioned they have a lot of stuff where you can hang out with the stars up for auction.
Howard told Chevy to come in sometime and they'll pick up where they left off the last time. Howard said that he figured that something went down with him and Jay Leno. Chevy said that it's just a different sense of humor. Howard said he's basically saying that Jay is vapid and he can't stand him. Chevy thanked him for straightening that out.
Chevy asked how Beth was doing. Howard said it's all going very well. He said that Beth is great. He said they have to talk to Chevy about the toast he made at his wedding. Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel was upset about the toast. Howard said he liked it though. Chevy said he didn't know that anyone was upset about it. Howard said he thought it was charming. Howard gave him some plugs for CharityBuzz.com and ''Community'' which airs on Thursday nights on NBC. He let him go after that.
Howard said he got a nice note from Kathie Lee when he got his divorce and even that made him nuts. He said he doesn't hate her but she drives him nuts. He said he can't stand it.
Howard said he's been goofing on Jennifer Aniston for years and he was going through some old stuff around the era when they did the movie. He said that he found a telegram from Jennifer Aniston saying that she had just seen his movie and she said she laughed so hard she puked. Howard said that was a lovely thing to do and he forgot all about that. He said that he forgets that he has people rooting for him and he's just an angry guy. Howard said she's just trying to make a living and he's not sure why he has this anger toward people.
Howard said his shrink even tells him he's never seen so much anger in a person before. Howard said he's not even sure why he has this anger in him. Robin said that you understand it with a lot of people who were abused as kids but with Howard it's not clear why he's so angry. Howard said he may have had his father on his ass and his mother up his ass all the time but that's about it.
Howard said he had to get to the Medicated Pete thing. He said this motherfucker didn't have a clue. Howard said he blew it. He said he has to give the guy some advice. Howard said it's going to be very evident to them why he blew the date. Howard said Yucko is coming in too. Fred told Howard they were behind on spots so they might not have time to have Yucko in.
Howard said there was an article in the paper about a guy who killed his unborn child with an abortion drug. Howard said there are guys who have been trying to do this for years. He said this guy must be a genius. Howard said the cops believe that he put his hand in a plastic bag and touched her sexually. The woman found some white powder in her underwear and that led her to believe that he gave her some kind of drug. Howard said that he can't imagine what the guy gave her and what the powder could have been. Howard said he'd never let a guy go near him with a plastic bag like that. Howard said that story sounds fishy to him.
Howard said that Sy Syms died. He said that guy made an empire out of building those suits. He said he was a great businessman.
Howard also mentioned the trial for the 9/11 suspects and how people are pissed about it being held in New York City. Howard said that people think they don't even deserve a trial since they're not from this country and they don't believe in what we do as far as justice. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had Yucko there and also had Dynah the girl who went on the date with Pete yesterday. He had her on the phone. Dynah said that she has to pee. She was waiting for him to come back though. Howard told her to go ahead and pee and they'll listen in. She didn't want to do that. She said it was okay and they could go through the interview.
Howard had Medicated Pete come in. Pete said he had a good time on the date. He thought they both did. Howard said they rode the mechanical bull at the place they went to. Howard told Dynah to be honest there and don't sugar coat it.
Dynah said that she had fun on the bull and stuff but the date was very tough. Howard said he heard the audio of the video they shot and he could tell from that. He said that it's good he got to hear the tapes. He said Pete could have shit going on but it wasn't working for him yesterday. Pete said he thought it went well. Howard said he's not seeing it from his perspective. Howard said that Pete was feeling love for this girl and he thought he was going to get another shot with her. Pete said he didn't think that. He said he had reservations.
Robin said she wanted to know what Pete really thought before Howard said that it didn't go well. Howard said Pete thought he had a shot. Howard said it went horribly though. He said he'd sum it up for Pete really quick. He said Pete didn't ask her any questions. Howard said it's not his looks or his Tourette's. He said that it's that he was silent and didn't ask her any questions. Howard said that you have to pretend that you're the host of an interview show and ask her about everything. Howard said all he had to do was ask her where she was born to start off. He said he should conduct an interview and pretend to be interested in them... or be interested in them.
Howard said this girl is in a wheelchair and she's going to law school. Howard told Pete what he should have been asking her about. He said that he could have asked her about what school she's going to, if it was a dream of her's to do that and things like that.
Howard told Pete he could have come up with some new questions instead of talking to her about the same stuff they talked to her about on the air. Pete said he was very nervous and he just choked. Howard said it got so quiet in there that they were just eating and there was food flying around. Dynah said that it was but it can get messy sometimes. Howard said she would have been into it if he had asked her some questions. Howard said that's all you have to do.
Howard had some audio from the date. Pete said he'd rather not listen to that. Howard said he had a hard time hearing it this morning. He said this chick was a winner and he could have had her legs spread on the bed if he had played it right. Howard said she must not be too particular to go on a date with Pete. She said she does have standards. She gave her number to Pete. Howard said she's probably changed her number already.
Howard asked how long it took Dynah to know it wasn't working. She said she tried to get him to talk a little more but he was very quiet and she didn't know what to do with him. Howard said she really tried and it just wasn't working. Howard said he was leaving work and he saw Pete in the hall with his head down and he wasn't saying anything. He said he should have pulled him aside right then and had a talk with him. Pete said he was really getting nervous.
Pete said he didn't want to rehash the whole staring thing in the hallway when Howard came by so that's why he was all nervous. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about.
Howard played some audio from the date. In the clip Pete was eating a hamburger. Howard told him that's the wrong food for him to eat. He said he needs to drink a glass of water and some tea or something. Pete asked Dynah about giving her his contact information during the date. She said that he already had her email address. Then Pete poked her in the arm with his arm. She said it was fine since it was such close quarters. There wasn't much conversation other than that.
Gary said that Pete might be near tears now. Howard said that they'll find him a girl and this was just the warm up. Howard said that he'll be fine. Pete was upset about the whole thing. He said that he can hold a conversation but just not yesterday. Pete said he was actually laughing so Howard figured Gary got it wrong again. Gary said that it wasn't just him. He said the TV guys were saying it too.
Howard said Pete is better off than JD is. He said that JD can't even get a sentence out. Artie said that he's been on worse dates.
Dynah said that she can't go on another date with Pete. She said that it was a lot of work to make it work yesterday and she can't do that again.
Howard played some more audio of the date and Pete really had nothing to say to this girl. She tried to get a conversation going and he would just bring it to a quick end. Pete would answer her with two word answers and just stop talking.
Howard said this wasn't exactly The Bachelor. Pete wasn't too thrilled hearing it either. Howard said if he looked like Brad Pitt he could get away with it.
Dynah said if they worked with him on social skills he might have a better time. She said that he has something there but he doesn't know how to work it. Howard said he knows what to do. He said that they'll find her another woman. Howard let Dynah go after that.
Howard said he knows what to do with Pete now. Howard said that they have video of him riding the mechanical bull. They watched that for a minute.
Howard said that Pete has to pretend that he's Howard Stern interviewing a chick. Howard said he has to become Howard Stern of the Howard Stern Show. He said if he does that he'll be able to engage a girl in a conversation. Howard said that if the woman wants to be a lawyer, you ask about law school. Howard said girls will talk for 2 hours if you ask them a question like that. He said they're starved for attention. Robin tried to help out but Howard cut her off saying this was a man to man conversation.
Howard told Pete that if the girls talk for a while you listen and pick up on something else and bring that up. He said you just need to pick up on a few key words. He was going to have Miss Howard TV come back in so they can role play. Howard told Pete to ask her about herself. He said that he's never going to date her but he can practice with her. He told Pete he can put other guys down and things like he does on the air. Howard said he can put down Scott the Engineer, Gange and Artie. He said he can talk about what a mess Artie is just like he does.
Howard had the guys bring Reby back in so they could do this experiment. Reby said she heard what was going on and she knew what to do. Pete asked her how she was doing and told her how beautiful she was. Pete asked her about being in Penthouse but she had never done that. Pete asked her about the modeling career and what made her want to do it. Reby told him how she got into it and Pete said that he's far from a model himself. He said he likes to chill out and go look at sporting events and stuff. Howard told him to just stick to asking her questions about herself. Pete asked her what kind of music she liked. She said she was into classic rock and stuff.
Howard said Pete is always asking about music. He told him he has to stop with that. Howard had another clip from Pete and Dynah's date where he was asking her about music. Howard told him that's a lame question.
Pete got back to his ''date'' with Reby and asked her about what she likes to do. She said she likes to go out and drink. She asked Pete if he likes to do that. Pete ran out of questions after that.
Howard said he could have asked her about what she did when her parents had her committed. He said that she'd talk about that for 20 minutes. Howard told Pete they have a lot of work to do. He said he was doing better with this chick than he did with Dynah.
Pete got back to his date and asked Reby about why she became a Giants fan. She had some stuff to say about that but it didn't last too long. Pete sounded angry when he asked the questions so Howard told him he doesn't have to do that. Howard said it would be funny if Reby wanted to go on a date with Pete after this. Howard said Pete is a lonely guy and he finally has a girl to talk to so he has to ask her some questions.
Howard told Pete he has to ask these girls about stuff and listen to what they're saying. He's not doing that right now. Howard told Pete that they're going to get him laid eventually. He told him he has to be prepared next time. Reby thought he was doing okay with her.
Robin asked Pete what he wanted to ask Reby. Pete asked her what it was like being so attractive. Reby said that was a good question. She said she gets up in the morning and checks the web and then plays some piano. Howard told him to ask her how she gets into that kind of stuff. Pete tried that and took Howard's advice on all of that stuff.
Robin told Pete to take out the ''Why?'' in his vocabulary because that wasn't working. Howard told her to ask Reby if she likes being stared at. Pete said that's another one of his problems. Howard said Pete has improved 50 percent already. Howard said he's going to have him up to 100 percent by the next date. Howard said tomorrow he's going to have a date with Wendy the Retard and then one with Lisa G. He said Lisa loves to talk about herself so that will be easy. Howard said Reby is tough because she's kind of intimidating. Artie said they'd all be nervous talking to this chick. Artie said that she's a cool chick with a lot of interests and she's an easy one to talk to. Artie said that she's going to play that piano for him and that will be tough to listen to.
Howard let Reby go and she blew Pete a kiss. Artie asked if he could pretend to be on a date with her. Howard asked Pete if he blew a load in his pants after that. Pete said he did not. Howard said tomorrow he'll have him interview Wendy the Retard and Lisa G and then he'll be ready. He needs to practice a little bit and he'll be fine. Howard had him pretending to be on a date with him. Pete wasn't doing too well with that.
Ralph called in and said that Pete should stock up on porno because he's never going to get laid. Howard asked Ralph what was up with his voice. Robin said he's sick. Ralph said he doesn't feel sick. He said he's not sure what's going on.
Ralph said Pete was good on the show yesterday but then he froze up on the date. Pete said he just froze up. Ralph said they have to go out to a bar and drink and not just eat hamburgers. Howard said the girl had to go home and they had to get the date over with.
Howard played more of the audio from the date. Artie said it sounds like some lions eating a wildebeest or something in that clip. Pete was chewing loud and poor Dynah was trying to make conversation with the guy. Pete would answer her but then run out of things to say.
Robin was laughing after hearing that clip. She was barely able to speak. Sal came in and said that maybe they could give him a ear piece and feed him lines. Howard said that won't work. Sal said that it's never going to happen for him then.
Howard said they have to find the real Pete and have him talk to the girls. Howard said that he just has to figure out what to talk to the girls about. Howard said they'll practice tomorrow.
Sal said that Pete has to lie his balls off and bullshit these girls. He said that no girl would be with him if he was the real Sal. Howard agreed with him on that. Howard said Sal's wife married him and now she's got the real Sal and she wants him dead. Sal said he had a hot chick come up to him one night and told him that she knew that Benjy was the guy who wrote ''Madagascar.'' Sal said that's the kind of lies you have to tell women. Howard said that Pete could tell them that he was in the army or something.
Gary came in and said he heard that a girl wanted to take Pete home to her house when he did a comedy show with Shuli. Pete said he blew it with that chick too. Gary asked why he didn't go home with her. Pete said he thought she was playing around. Gary said no one else did. Pete figured he just blew it. Howard said that it's understandable if he didn't want to go to a stranger's house though. Howard said he may have had a point there.
Howard said Yucko can't get laid either. He said Pete just has to learn how to ask questions and he'll be fine. Howard asked Pete what he's going to ask Wendy tomorrow. Pete said he was going to ask her why she's the way she is. Howard told him that he has to ask other questions and to ask about what it's like to have a tomato up her ass. Robin said he's never going to get laid talking like that.
Howard wanted to see Dynah riding the mechanical bull. The Howard TV guys had the video of that a couple of seconds later. Howard said she was enjoying the bull more than Pete. Howard said that he has to stop asking about what music she likes and things like that.
Howard said he heard he had stories to tell but then he told Will last night they were lies. Yucko said that Will is wrong about that. He said that he had some stories about Sal watching porn at the hotels they've stayed at and he thought he was making up the stories when he was just making up the names of the videos he watched.
Yucko asked why he needs stories to come in there. Howard said they need something to talk about. Yucko said they all have bullshit stories they talk about on the show like the fact that Robin isn't dating that artist guy.
Howard said that Yucko brings up a good point there. Howard said Robin is doing this art thing tonight and they're not sure why it's on a Wednesday and why they sent out the invitations a week before. Robin said it was a last minute thing. Howard said a lot of people are afraid to tell her that they can't go. Howard said people have stuff they have to do and they're freaking out because they think Robin is going to be upset about it. Robin said people are just bored.
Jason came in and said he's one of those guys. Yucko told him he looks like four of those guys. Yucko asked if he ate Will back there. Jason told Yucko that his ex still texts him.
Jason said that Robin asked him in the hall yesterday if she was going to see him Wednesday night. Jason said he wasn't sure if he could make it because it was late. Robin said she told him to make it if he can. Jason said that's not the feeling he got. He said he thought she wanted him to go. As Jason was leaving Yucko said that he ''loved him in ''Ice Age'' you wooly mammoth bastard...''
Gary came in and said that he wants to go to this art thing tonight but he can't make it and he feels bad about it. Robin said it's fine if they can't make it. Yucko said he'd go. Gary said he wouldn't make it past security.
Howard said Yucko gets mad at people for not hanging out with him. He heard that he's mad at Gary for not hanging out with him in Vegas. Yucko said that he was mad about Gary busting his balls out there and leading him down the wrong path.
Yucko was goofing on Gary's brother being dead and about his mother being in an old age home. Gary asked if he had spoken to his ex-wife lately. Yucko said he's done with that.
Howard read that Yucko hates Lisa G's cookies. Yucko said they're a bunch of bullshit. Gary said he said a quick hello to Yucko out in the green room and he went back in and spoke to him for about 5 minutes. He said that he can't win with the guy because when he walked out Yucko said ''yap, yap, yap'' like he was talking too much.
Yucko said he was trying to listen to the show and all he heard was Gary talking about why he won't have Bobby Slayton on the show. Yucko did an impression of Gary talking to him that had Artie cracking up. Gary told Yucko that he should read between the lines and see that it takes something special to get on the show and he has to bring something and not just rest on his laurels. Howard asked him why he had to bring up Bobby Slayton in the conversation. He said Gary should have just told Yucko directly.
Gary said that Yucko was a bummer to hang out with for a while after his wife left him. Yucko said that's not true. Howard said that chick fucked the funny out of him. Gary said that people were talking about how depressing he was to be around. Yucko said that divorces aren't a lot of fun.
Yucko said that his ex-wife is working at some biker bar down in Georgia and she kept telling him she wanted out of that state and she ended up settling in down there. Robin said that means it wasn't Georgia she wanted to get away from.
Howard asked Yucko if it's true he's gotten some pussy since his divorce. Yucko said he has and he learned that you just fuck waitresses, not marry them.
Yucko was still goofing on Gary and Gary said that he had even less desire to book him after all of that. Yucko said that goatee he has is really lame too. He said it reminds him of something that gets moldy in your refrigerator after a few weeks.
Gary told Yucko that he has to wear that suit to be funny. Yucko told him that he should put a black light on it. No one got the joke so Yucko explained that it was pussy juice stains from Gary's wife all over it. He had to go a long way for that joke.
Howard asked Yucko about some of the shows he's been doing and found out that Dan the Song Parody Man has been doing some shows with them. Yucko said he usually opens the shows for them. Yucko said Dan is working on some material.
Yucko told a story about Dan the Song Parody Man taking towels and ashtrays from a hotel room out in Vegas. Dan was also drinking the leftover drinks in the room. Artie said he left he guys to keep the room for a night when he left early and Dan ended up cleaning out the room from what he heard. Artie said he took all of the free booze and stuff. Howard said that he was just trying to keep it from going to waste. Yucko said that kind of bothered him. Artie said he didn't see the guy take that stuff, he just heard he did.
Howard gave Yucko some more plugs for the show he's doing in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. Yucko said that's out in Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania. He said the whole comedy thing isn't really working out and he may just jump out a window from the lobby there.
Howard gave Yucko some more plugs for the shows he's doing and said that one of them is at a social hall in another place in Pennsylvania in East Greenville. Howard asked who booked that stuff. Yucko said he thinks that Bob Levy's guy did that. You can find out more about that and the Damn Show DVD at DamnShow.com (or RevBobLevy.com).
Dan the Song Parody Man was on the phone to defend himself. Dan said that they're out of their minds. He said that he was there to make sure that they didn't rape the room. Dan said he hasn't been drunk in 15 years and he didn't steal anything from the room. Dan said that he didn't do this stuff and he buys ashtrays when he goes to the hotels like that. He said that he's the guy who makes sure that the guys don't take that stuff. Dan said he rarely works for these guys.
Richard Christy came in and said that Dan is a pack rat and they had a room full of junk and Dan asked if he could take the stuff from them. Dan said that wasn't true either. He said that they were wondering what to do with that stuff and he offered to keep the stuff at his warehouse. He said he was doing that to keep it for later. Richard said they were going to throw that stuff away, they weren't going to keep it. Richard said it was old dildos and stuff like that.
Richard said he paid for the rent when Dan let him stay at his place. Gary said that wasn't even Dan's apartment, it was Jeff Beecher's place. Dan said he worked for that apartment. Richard said he paid rent for him though. Dan said he bought groceries for him, that was it.
Shuli came in and said that they did this event for the comedy channel there and they had gift bags set up for people and Dan took one of them. Dan said they gave it to him. He said he didn't snatch it like they were saying. Shuli said the bags were for people who flew out there for the event and Dan wasn't supposed to get one.
Dan said that Shuli doesn't have much material. Shuli said that Dan is the one without material. Dan said he's seen Shuli do great and eat shit on stage. Shuli said that Dan always eats shit on stage. They went back and forth arguing about that. Shuli told Dan to grow up, cut his hair and get a real job.
Artie told Howard a story about Dan driving him up to this event one time and Dan asked him to wire up an event he was working for. Artie said he had to set up speakers and stuff to make sure they got to the gig on time. He said it was pretty funny. Dan said that Artie was up on stage singing ''Tiny Bubbles'' when they were doing the sound check there.
Howard let Dan go and wrapped up with Yucko after that. He gave Yucko some more plugs and ended up talking about Bobby Slayton again. Yucko said he had some stuff about Dane Cook he could say too. He didn't say what it was Gary told him.
Gary said that Bobby Slayton is one of the funniest guys out there and he loves him but he doesn't come off well on the show and now Yucko has made him look like a dick. Yucko said he didn't have to help him out with that. Yucko did his impression of Gary some more and goofed on him for a few more minutes.
Craig Gass' name came up during that conversation. Gary said that the guys in the back were telling him to tell jokes about Craig and Yucko's ex. Howard asked Yucko if he's still mad at Craig. Yucko said he is but not about the wife stuff. He said he's just a two faced douche bag. He said that Craig told him he was upset about the whole wife thing and said he wasn't going to bring it up on stage but then he went up on stage and brought it up. Yucko said he wishes that Craig would do a real impression of Sam Kinison and get killed in a head on accident. Yucko was also goofing on the size of Craig's head saying that it was like one of those Easter Island statues with the giant head.
Gary said he heard that the Craig Gass thing was so bad that he took some people who showed up late to the side at the end of the show to do the material they had missed. Howard gave Yucko some more plugs and went to break after that.
Howard said Ralph might be high on drugs lately. He said that he picked out an outfit for him with a bright yellow t-shirt and a bright red shirt over that. He said it looked like scrambled eggs being thrown up on with ketchup. Howard said sometimes Ralph is way off with the stuff he picks out. Howard said he complained to him the other day. He said he looks good in black like Rob Zombie does. Howard said Rob looks good all the time. Ralph said everyone looks good in black. Howard told him that's how he should dress him then. He said he dressed himself today and he looks fine. Robin said she liked the way he looked today. Howard said he thinks he looks cool and Ralph had nothing to do with it.
Robin said she wants to see what Ralph picked out. Howard said he'll wear it tomorrow. He said he looks like vomit when he wears it though. He said he will humiliate himself tomorrow to show her what it looks like. Howard said he doesn't look good with color. He said he needs neutral colors. Howard said he wants to be like Johnny Cash with all black.
Howard said they get a lot of porn movies sent to them and they have one that they got that he liked. It was called ''Daddy's Worst Nightmare'' and it was a blonde girl sucking a black penis. Howard said that was Daddy's worst nightmare. Howard had some other movies that were in the box or porn they get there.
Ralph called in and asked what outfit he was talking about. Howard said it was a bright yellow shirt and the red shirt to go over it. Ralph didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said he's going to wear it tomorrow. Ralph said he doesn't have anything yellow. Howard said he does now. He told Ralph to just find black stuff for him to wear. Ralph said that's like what Rob Zombie does and he doesn't want to do that. Ralph told Howard to grow his hair long again too.
Howard said he's talking about his clothes and not his hair. He told Ralph to work harder. Ralph told him he's retarded.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He quickly ran down his list of subjects for today's show. Then Steve Brandano came in with his Intern Show preview. He said they'll be talking about Pete's date and things like that tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Robin read that Nicholas Cage is in a lot of financial trouble. His business manager is saying that Nick brought it on himself. He bought 15 homes, a castle and a squadron of Rolls Royce's. Robin read that the manger said that he'd have to earn $30 million a hear just to maintain his lifestyle.
Robin read a story about Sarah Palin's new book and the media tour she's on right now. She's now claiming that she didn't want her picture taken while out running even though she allowed the pictures to be taken. Howard said that she's good at getting outraged over that kind of thing. He said that she wouldn't be good at doing anything else. He said she wants to be taken seriously but no one is taking her seriously. He said that she's trivial and that's what Newsweek is showing by printing that picture of her.
Robin read that Jordan Sparks has taken a pledge not to text and drive. She said that they're doing a drive to try and get people not to text and drive. Howard said that these people are dummies who do that. He said he can't even walk and text at the same time.
Robin read a story about Bernie Madoff's stuff being sold off and how they made more than they expected. People actually did want his crap. They auctioned off his two boats and they sold for nearly $2 million. Robin read the details about some of the other stuff that was sold as well.
Robin read some details about Farrah Fawcett's will and what she left to her family. The guys talked about how they thought she was worth a lot of money for being so famous but then you think about what she did and maybe she didn't have all that much.
Robin read a story about some people in Italy who got an invite to a party for a modeling agency and it turned out to be a party for Muammar Gaddafi who was trying to convince them to become Muslim.
Robin read a story about a woman who is refusing to deploy to Afghanistan because she can't find proper care for her kids. Robin read that they put the kids in child care services but the Military is denying that happened. Howard said people don't know what really happens when you sign up for the military. He said if they want to, they can deploy you to wherever they want. That's what they're paying you for. Robin agreed and said that it is a volunteer service and you have to think about that stuff before you sign up.
Robin read about a 10 year old girl who had a Taser used on her by some cops when they tried to get her into a patrol car to bring her to a youth center. Robin said the mother told the cop to use the Taser and he did. Robin read that the girl had kicked the cop in the groin and feet before that.
Robin read a story about an interview that President Obama did where he talked about getting the troops out of Afghanistan before he's done in office. He doesn't want to leave that to the next president. Howard said that if they do leave it's going to leave it in the same condition they went in. He said it's a horrible situation there. We just can't fix what's wrong over there. Robin said they'd need a 20 year plan to get things in place over there.
Robin read about the President catching up with his half brother while he was over in China. Robin had some audio of the half brother talking about what happened when they met.
Robin read about a vice presidential motorcade that ran into some trouble yesterday. Joe Biden was on his way to do the Daily Show when they got into an accident. Robin had some audio of Biden on the Daily Show.
Robin read about the woman who pleaded guilty to kidnapping Elizabeth Smart. She got 20+ years in prison for that. Robin had some audio of the woman's lawyer talking about that.
Robin read about how Charlie Daniels is going to be saluting the late Les Paul in a concert soon. Robin had some audio of Charlie Daniels talking about how much he loved Les Paul. Robin read about some of the other people who will be part of that concert as well.
Robin read about the Dancing with the Stars show that had the Bee Gees on last night. Howard said they have a hit show and they're dragging it out with the results show. He said they have to drag it out and it's terrible. Howard said they had Taylor Swift on one night and they kept cutting away to people dancing. He said it was bizarre. He just wanted to watch Taylor Swift since she's kind of cute. Howard said he had to turn the show off last night.
Robin read about the ''Twilight Saga: New Moon'' movie and how one of the kids in the movie is becoming a big star. The kid is only 17 years old. Howard said that's just a kid and girls are always asking him to take his shirt off. Howard said they should be asking him since he's a real man.
Robin read about the new Sandra Bullock movie ''The Blindside'' and had some audio of Sandra Bullock talking about that. Howard said he'd rather wash dishes than do an interview asking Sandra about that movie.
Robin read about Duane Johnson being in ''Planet 51'' and had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said that's ''The Rock.'' Robin said he's trying to lose that whole Rock thing. Howard said he's always going to be known as The Rock to him.
Robin had some audio of Nicholas Cage talking about a new movie he's in. She also had some news about Ninja Assassins coming out finally. Robin said they saw the movie quite a while ago and it's just now coming out.
Robin read a story about a glove of Michael Jackson's that's being auctioned off. She also said that The Who will be performing at this year's Super Bowl. She wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
After playing the clip Gary said that whenever they go out on a week night you do worry about getting home early to get to sleep. He said you don't enjoy yourself when you go out like that. He said that's because of the hours they keep there.
Benjy was defending the woman who was going off on Howard saying that she may have had someone telling her what to do. Gary said it seemed like she had a mind of her own about the whole thing but that could have been it too. Benjy said that when you have power it is nice to use it sometimes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robin's problem is that she throws shitty events. He said that she doesn't have anything anyone wants to go to. Gary said they all go to each other's events there. He said that it can be tough to make it out to some of those events. Jon said that they want to be there for Robin but they hope she understands that it's hard for them to make it.
Gary said Sam Simon came out to see his kids play football once. Benjy said he'd like to see that. Gary said that he and Jon have families at home they have to go home to. Gary said he and Jon did a show on Monday night and they had to fill the rest of the day while they were killing time for the radio show. Gary said he started to wonder why he was doing the show at that time of night when he was trying to kill time all afternoon.
Gary said he naps on the couch in the green room and now he has to fight with Jason sometimes because Jason napes when he does the Superfan Roundtable.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Gary that it's really gay when he says ''Hello, hello'' when they start the show. Gary said that he's goofing on himself from that old tape he made where he said ''hello, hello.'' Gary said he loves explaining the jokes to the listeners.
Yucko said that he knows that he'll get on eventually and it doesn't hurt when he doesn't get on. Gary said he thought he was getting upset but that's good to hear.
Gary said that Howard wants the guests to have an agenda so if they don't then Howard doesn't see a reason to do that.
Gary said that he's never really been able to talk to Roger, the man behind the mask of Yucko. He said if you try to be serious with him in the clown outfit it's really tough. Gary said he's been on the show for like 12-15 years but he doesn't know him that well. He said he hears that he's a good guy. Yucko said he likes it that way. He said if you get too close then you get hurt.
Jon asked Yucko about his ex-wife and if he's really over that. Yucko said the first couple of months sucked but he's over it now. He said it's been over a year. Yucko said he's going out and sticking his dick in whatever he can get.
Gary and Jon asked if the outfit can get in the way of dating. Yucko said that it doesn't and he can make a game out of the whole thing. He said that some chicks like him to leave it on and they're really creepy chicks. He said that they have tackle in their pussy and stuff like that. Yucko said he'll do whatever he has to do to get in there. He said he doesn't give a fuck now.
Benjy asked if he stays in touch with the ex. Yucko said they don't. He said that they spoke a few months ago about a car he bought that was in his name. He wanted to get it into her name only so they had to talk about that. He said that they're civil when they speak now.
Yucko said he doesn't give two shits about her now. Gary said he thinks that he's not over her yet. Yucko said he's so over her. Gary said he's going through a stage where he says he hates her but he's really not over her.
Jon asked Yucko about hanging back stage with the guys from the comedy shows they do. Yucko said he's not that close to those guys. Yucko said that he has real friends like the guy he brought with him today. He said that's his buddy.
Gary asked why they're stopping the Killers of Comedy shows. Yucko said that the economy sucks and not that many people are going to shows now. He said that the plugs were pulled too. Gary said that they didn't cut the plugs down that much. They're still getting them in now. Yucko said maybe it's just the fact that they're not funny then.
A caller asked how many chances they were going to give Yucko to be funny today. The caller said he killed the show earlier and he's doing that now to this show. Gary said he thought he was good earlier this morning. He said the angry clown is the funny one. The caller asked when he's going to be funny now. Yucko said he's going to be funny when he fucks his fuckin mother in the fuckin mouth. The caller wasn't amused.
Jon brought up Craig Gass' name and Yucko went off on him again. He said that he and Craig were friendly before his ex-wife came along and then Craig did a 180 on him and started talking shit behind his back. He said that Craig told the stories on stage and stuff like he was involved in the relationship or something.
Shuli said he heard the story from Bob, Craig and Yucko and it seems like Yucko was okay with the whole thing with the chick sending pictures to Gass' phone but then Craig told Yucko he wasn't going to talk about it on stage and then went up and did it. That's what upset Yucko.
Jon asked where the anger toward Dan the Song Parody Man came from. Yucko said he was just joking about some stuff and it snowballed into something huge. Shuli said that Dan pissed him off when he said he didn't have any material. He said that there are a lot of people that could say that to him but not Dan. He said Dan saying it really pissed him off.
Gary said he hears stories from the guys about Dan from everyone. He said he heard a story about Tim Sabean having a lunch at Del Fresco's and they went out of their way to make sure Dan didn't show up but Dan ended up showing up. Gary said Dan lacks the gene that makes you ashamed. He said he can hear Dan dialing now and he knows that he's going to say that they're wrong about that story. Gary said that's the way he heard it though so that's what he's going by.
Shuli said that Dan hears all of these stories and he always has an excuse. Dan was on the phone a few seconds later and said that he shouldn't have said that Shuli had a lack of material. He said that Shuli has done some news stories about him that were wrong. Shuli got upset with Dan for saying his news story was wrong too because he was told by the person who ran the party that Dan was the one who took the gift bag from that party. Dan said he was handed the bag when he was there and he didn't just take it.
Dan said that he's never gone to a lunch that he wasn't invited to either. He said that story that Gary told was bullshit too. Jared came in a short time later and said that Dan wasn't being truthful. He said that Tim had invited only the guys who are on the show that day and Dan wasn't invited. Dan said that he remembers the specifics and he was invited. Dan said Tim asked him to go along with them. Jared said he remembers asking Tim if he was invited and Tim told him that Dan was not invited. Dan said he was set up then.
Gary said that Dan gets set up a lot then. Dan said that he would never do something to give them stuff to talk about. Dan said that he's had other things that Tim has offered him that haven't worked out too and he doesn't complain about that.
Jon wanted to ask Tim if Dan was invited to that lunch. Tim was in a meeting though. Dan said he would pay Tim for the lunch if he wasn't invited.
Jason came in and said that there were two lunches that they may be confusing. He said there was one lunch that Dan showed up to that they were shocked he showed up to because they went out of their way to make sure he wasn't invited. Dan said he has never showed up to a lunch uninvited. He said he never orders expensive stuff on the menu when he goes to a lunch either.
Dan said that they make shit up because they have nothing on him. He said Shuli makes stuff up and he was goofing on the way Shuli looks and how he doesn't get laughs at his show. Shuli went off on Dan and said that Dan doesn't get any laughs. They went back and forth talking about how awful their comedy routines were.
Dan said he's seen Shuli doing the same material over the past 10 years and he didn't mean to say he was a bad comedian earlier. He said he was referring to the news story he had. Dan said if that's the way he's going to treat him then that's bullshit. Shuli said that Dan helped him get his comedy career started and he appreciates that but this stuff is bullshit.
Shuli said that he's helped Dan out on stages that he'll never be allowed back on again. The two of them got into it really heavy and started yelling at each other about this stuff. Shuli said that Dan gets outed on the air and he just threatens people with physical violence. Dan was going off on Shuli and said he hopes that his son is born looking just like him.
Shuli said that Dan took more than one gift bag at that event he did the news story about. Dan said he was wrong about that too. He said that someone handed him something and he took it. He didn't just take it. Dan said that they have slow news days there and they make this stuff up. Dan said he wants to see if Shuli can look him in the eye and tell him these lies to his face. Shuli said he and other people were witness to that stuff he did and he watched Dan walk off with one of the bags. Dan said he didn't see him walk off with it.
Dan said that Shuli is a fuckin piece of shit. Shuli said he's not the one who brings a suitcase to fill up with stuff from a hotel room that was used by a friend of his. Dan said he never did that either.
Gary asked Dan if he thinks that he's being targeted with this stuff or is he just part of a show where they throw each other under the bus. Dan said he's just part of the show. Dan said that he never starts shit with anyone but he doesn't take shit from anyone either.
Jason asked if Dan threatened Langford over the whole Artie money thing. Dan said that he didn't do that and that was bullshit too. Dan went off on Jason about being the bitch boy there and throwing people under the bus all the time.
Jon told everyone to calm down and quiet down. Jon asked Dan if he and Shuli were buddies. Dan said he thought so. He said he has tried his hardest to help his friends be as successful as possible. He said he's helped Shuli out in the past and he's never done wrong by the guy. He said he blew off the handle today when he said he had a lack of material. He said he didn't mean the comedy, he was talking about the news story. Dan said that other people are trying to crowbar in that story about him stealing stuff from the hotel room.
Sal came in and said that Levy's driver told them the story about the stuff being taken and that guy doesn't lie. Sal said he was going by the story he heard from Paul. Sal said he heard the suitcase was so heavy that he had to pay a $50 fee. Dan said it was 6 pounds overweight so he took out the ashtrays he had in there and they weren't stolen from the hotel. He said that he purchased them. Sal said he heard he had pillows, bath robes and toothpaste in the suitcase.
Jon tried to get them to settle down again. He let Dan tell his side of the story. Sal said Dan is never wrong and he's not sure how that can be if everyone has a story for him. Gary said it does sound like everyone is wrong but Dan. Dan said that everyone is trying to make him look like an asshole and it's not true. Dan said he didn't take the ashtrays from the room and he didn't take any bathrobes.
Richard came in with the E! stuff that Dan took and Dan denied that story too. Richard said that Dan was going to back it up and take that junk and it was stuff they weren't going to keep. Dan said that's not true and it was stuff they wanted to keep.
Jason came in and said that he had a story from Jared about that lunch. He said that Jared told him that Tim wanted to take the guys out to lunch who work for him. They asked not to let Dan know about the lunch and Jared says that Dan may have followed him down to lunch and then Tim gave the okay to come to lunch after he found out about it.
Dan said that he thinks that everyone there ganging up on him is the gang mentality and they're just looking for stuff to get on him about. Gary said that Dan can gang up on someone on the show by writing a song parody about it. Dan said that's not ganging up.
Benjy asked Dan if he's going to write a song parody about his hotel thing. Gary started the song off by singing ''Welcome to the Hotel where I fill my suitcase...'' and Sal kept it going with more lines about clearing out the whole room. They had almost a whole song parody written within seconds.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the stuff that Shuli and Dan have been saying and that led to the two of them challenging each other to do comedy against each other. Dan said that they need to go to a club where they have a packed room of non-Stern fans.
Gary asked if they could do the comedy challenge tonight. Dan said he's busy until after 10. Gary said that's usually when people go out to comedy clubs so that might work. Dan didn't want any Stern fans at the club. He thought Shuli would have an unfair advantage.
Sal wanted the loser to have to kiss his foreskin. The guys were saying that's very gay. Sal said that he won't bathe for 2 days and it'll smell really bad. They weren't sure how they were going to judge the material. Gary said they should judge it there on the show. Gary said that they could play the audio and have the audience at the club judge it.
Ralph called in and said he called Dan about a year ago and asked him to do a song parody about something and he thought it was piling on too much so he does have scruples about that. Ralph said that people do have something against Dan there and they do pile on him. Ralph said it makes sense that maybe Dan does travel with a robe and ashtrays and he didn't steal anything from that room.
Gary asked why it is that they don't like Dan. Ralph said they just goof on Dan when he's there and he's like the butt of jokes. Gary said he hears that but the jokes come from these stories they tell. He said that he thinks that maybe the jokes come from the stories and not the other way around.
Ralph said Dan puts himself out there for people and he's not an asshole like they think he is. Ralph said this stuff is making him look like a piece of shit. He said Dan is trying to help the E! guys out with the props and stuff and now he's an asshole trying to throw shit in his van and that's fucked.
Dan thanked Ralph for the support. He said that Howard and Artie have been good to him and he's been good to people there and has bought lunch for many of them. Dan said that the picture they're painting of him is so far from what he really is. Jon had to take a break after that.
Jon mentioned the new Miss Howard TV who wasn't able to answer all of the Giants questions. Gary said she had one of the all time killer bodies. He said even Will was talking about how hot her body was and he's kind of jaded.
Jon said that Reby came back and did the thing with Pete later on. They talked about that a little bit and Sal said that you really do have to lie a lot when you're trying to pick up women. Sal said that women want guys who are successful so that's why you have to lie about that stuff.
Sal told the guys what he would tell women if he was trying to pick up a woman. He said he would lie about having a Villa over in Italy and how Sophia Loren came to visit him the last time he was there. Sal said that's what you need to do. He said you have to paint a picture for the women. He said women want guys who are rich or extremely good looking.
Gary and Jon asked Sal if he used those lines on women in the past. Sal said he didn't use it on his wife. He said that he almost blew it with his wife. He said he had a mutual friend who introduced them and he remembers telling her a story about a chick he got naked in a hotel but didn't get to bang her even though she was naked. That was the first story he told his wife. Sal said he didn't know why he did that and he walked away mumbling to himself ''what the fuck did I just do?'' Sal said he thought it was an interesting story and that's why he told it to her. He said she didn't laugh and he walked away really embarrassed. Sal said he's still shocked that she went out with him after that story. He saw her in the cafeteria after that and asked her out again and she went out with him. He said he was bullshitting her about that story and he was just nervous that day and told her the story. He said that worked and they eventually got married. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about his headache. He said he never gets them but today he has one and he's thinking his new carpet at home is causing it. He said he's very neurotic. He said he doesn't want anything new, everything should just be the same as always. Artie said they do have a lot of chemicals in carpet. Howard said he has a lot of it now and it used to be all stone. He said he's woozy from all of the carpet. He said the dog won't even go up to the carpet now.
Howard asked Robin how her event went last night. He explained that she did this thing with the painter friend of her's. Howard said he wasn't able to make it last night. He said he should have gone because he needed some alcohol. He said he was running around and had meetings and stuff all day long. He said the apartment alone is like a full time job.
Howard said Beth went to the event and then went out to dinner with a bunch of girls. Howard said she got home around midnight last night and he's not sure what's going on when she's out. Howard said he goes to bed because he has work to do. Howard asked how late her event went. Robin said it was until about 9. She said it was more about raising awareness than raising money. She said it's ''The Girl Fund'' and they hope that people will know all about it some day. Artie said he gives money to girls all the time. Robin said that's not the same thing.
Robin said that there were people from work who showed up. She really appreciated that. Robin explained what this Girl Fund is and how they're trying to help the girls out around the world who don't get an education. As she was describing it Howard thought she sounded angry. Robin said she wasn't angry at all.
Robin said she enjoyed the event last night. She said she was trying to introduce everyone and it was very busy but very fun. She said she really appreciates everyone who showed up for her. Howard said he just wasn't able to make it. Robin said that she would have liked it if Howard had bought a painting. Howard said he thought she said he didn't have to. Howard said he didn't want a painting but he would have given a donation. Howard asked what she needs. Robin didn't give him a number and said that she'd talk to him later.
Robin said that Mel was there and he figured that he was being tortured the whole night. Artie said he wasn't able to make it either because he's been trying to make it to bed early. He said he'd donate like Howard wants to as well.
Robin told Howard that there was a woman telling stories about how bad things are in these third world countries and that's why she wants to go to Guatemala to see for herself. Howard said he's had a lot of people telling him about how bad it is down there and how people are robbed when they go to visit. Howard said it doesn't sound good at all. Howard said it makes him want to vomit when he hears how screwed up it is in these countries. Howard told Robin she shouldn't be going down there and she needs to calm down. He said he doesn't know who she is anymore.
Howard said it's no wonder people think he fucked Robin. He said the way they talk makes it seem that way. Howard said he gets that feeling about the Black Eyed Peas. He said that must be what it's like for people who listen to the show.
Robin said that Mr. Generous, Artie, didn't come through her last night. Artie said that the artist in question owes him something and maybe they can work something out. Artie said he bet him that the Yanks would go further than the Red Sox when that guy visited the studio. Artie said it was supposed to be a dinner thing but it hasn't happened yet. Howard said he hopes that this girl fund thing works out for her.
Robin said Fred showed up last night and he was looking good. Howard said he head about that. Fred was wearing a jacket that was supposed to be very nice. Fred said it was a John Varvato jacket that he got over the summer. Howard said when he met Fred he was a hick. Fred said he still is.
Howard asked if their agent bought a painting. Robin said he didn't and he should know him by now. Howard said he heard that Don was very generous. Robin said he is but he doesn't buy paintings. Robin said that Don likes wine but he doesn't like to buy the really expensive bottles. She said that he'll buy up some of the mid-range stuff and let it age and appreciate over time.
Robin said Don also goes to auctions to buy his stuff. She said he likes to get stuff cheap. Fred said he's like one of those old timers who likes to get deals. Robin said he told her a story about buying pianos from a piano company that was going out of business. Artie said he's heard stories from him too about good deals he's gotten.
Howard said Don has to upgrade his computers. He said his stuff is really old. He said he has that flashing cursor that comes up on the screen and doesn't even have Windows. He's still working in DOS. Robin said she just got a new laptop and the guy asked if she wanted something that was good for at least 3 years. She said they update them so often that they don't last more than that.
Howard asked Robin what time she got home last night. Robin said she got home around 9:30. Howard said she sounds worn out today. Robin said she was doing a lot of talking last night. She wasn't drinking though. Howard said he can tell she's worn out from the way she's talking.
Howard said it's hard to argue with Robin because her voice is so loud. Robin said she can out argue just about anyone with that voice she has.
Howard said Oprah had Kate Hudson on and he can't stand when they have guests like that on and ask about how their marriages are and they refused to talk about their personal lives. He said they get a pained look on their face and put up their hands like they don't want to talk about it. Howard said it's a way for these actresses to get attention and then they don't talk about it.
Howard said Artie's nose was squeaking again. Artie said he didn't know that was him. Howard said Artie is a mess and asked if he's okay. Artie said he's doing fine and he just has a physical. Howard asked what they do when they test him. He said he got the prostate thing and the full blood work. He said he had to get on a treadmill too. Artie apologized for the noises he was making. He said he was able to stop them the other day so he'll stop it today.
Howard got back to Kate Hudson and talked about how she was at every Yankee game being shown on camera. Then when Oprah asked her about dating A-Rod she wasn't able to mention his name. Howard said Kate didn't want to talk about it and put her hands up like it was a horrible question. Howard asked what the fuck the big deal is. He said that it's like she's worried that the story is going to be out there after they break up and she refuses to talk about it.
Howard said there's an easy way to answer a question like that instead of acting the way Kate did. Howard said Robin had to hear this clip. Howard played the clip and Oprah brought up how New Yorkers were thanking Kate. Howard cut it off and said that it was already getting bad because Kate didn't even want her mentioning the Yankees.
Howard said that he was thinking about these sports teams and how the players can move from team to team. He said that what they should do is keep the players to the state the teams are from. They should have to grow up in that state and live there. He said that would make it cool.
Howard played more of the Oprah and Kate Hudson interview and Kate was telling Oprah ''no comment'' when she asked about what was going on there. Kate was asked how she met and she didn't know how to answer. She said ''Umm...'' and thought for a moment. Kate said she didn't know where to begin. Howard said she's so retarded it's sickening.
Howard said he met Kate at Rick Ruben's house one time and she seemed like a nice, sweet, unaffected girl but now she's turned into a flaming asshole. Howard said her movies aren't that popular and the thing that is popular is that she was dating A-Rod. Howard said she should just say she met him at a party, he was a nice guy and now they're dating and having a good time.
Howard said he doesn't care how she met A-Rod and she's not that interesting that she should be wondering how to talk about it. Oprah was asking Kate if they met in a grocery store or something. Kate stumbled over her words and said it's her personal relationships and stuff and she wasn't sure how to discuss them.
Oprah said that she wanted to ask if they were going to be out house hunting or something. Kate said that they met years ago and that was about all she was saying. Oprah had to drag that out of her.
Howard played more of the clip and Kate said she and A-Rod met randomly. Howard said every meeting is random. Howard was very irritated with her answers and said he might have a new appreciation for Oprah. Howard said she should just tell Kate that she's there for an interview and she has to say something. Kate was saying that she is very happy and joyful. She wasn't giving Oprah much else to go on though. Howard said this guy is going to dump Kate and he doesn't need her. He said he's having some fun and he will dump her eventually.
Richard came in and said that Carmen looks incredible in the clip. He's not sure how old it is. Richard said the video is on LiveLeak.com and it's making the rounds too. Gary said it's also on Egotastic.com. Howard had the guys show it in the studio. They were watching Carmen making out with another chick. Howard said that was great. Robin said it was disgusting.
Howard had to cut the video off because he was getting distracted. He got back to Kate Hudson and talked about how dumpy she's looking these days. Artie said he has a feeling she's an excellent lay. He's not sure why he has that feeling but that's what he's thinking.
Howard said that Kate has to make sure she takes care of A-Rod because he'll dump her ass in a second if she's not good in bed. Howard said guys need that shit. He said it's all about sex for guys. Howard said that A-Rod could dump her for a stripper if she's going to lick his asshole and Kate isn't.
Howard played more of the Oprah stuff and said that was all she was going to ask Kate about her man. She didn't even mention who it was.
Artie said he went to the wake for the guy who died in Springsteen's family. He said he saw Bruce go up and talk about the kid who died and then did an acoustic version of ''Outlaw Pete'' for the people at the funeral. Artie said he got the chills from that. Howard said he would have gone to that funeral if he knew Bruce was going to be there.
Gary said that they're saying that this might be the end of the Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band tours. That's why he wants to go see it now. He said Bruce may go out and do stuff on his own in the future but now they're treating it like it's the end. Gary said that there are like 10 guys going and Dan Foreman is one of them. Howard said he heard about that. Artie said he might tag along.
Howard asked Gary if his wife gets upset about him going to concerts like that. Gary said he doesn't go as much as Ross does. Gary said he went to see Bruce in New Jersey once and it took an hour and 15 minutes to get out of the place.
Artie said he didn't know he was doing that. He said that his girlfriend has to sleep on the couch sometimes from his snoring. He said he started wearing one of those breathe right strips on his nose and that helps.
Howard said he has a new character for Artie to do. He can be the guy who wheezes. Artie said he doesn't know what to do. He said it must be too much mozzarella.
Howard said it sounds like his girlfriend is living with him now. Artie said she is in a way. He said she's there like half the time now. He said she even has a key to his place. Howard asked if she's got her own drawer. Artie said that he doesn't even have a drawer to himself. Howard asked if she has friends over to his place. Artie said that she has had a girl from the same building over but that was just once. Howard said he gets what's going on there. Howard asked if she's changed any decor in there. Artie said that she hasn't done that but his mother had a lot of stuff done there recently so there's not much to change right away.
Howard said he didn't know Artie was moving that fast with his girlfriend. Artie said she's a great girl and very pretty. Howard said she's gotten further in 6 months than Dana did in years. Artie told him to stop that. He said he still has guilt over that whole thing. Artie said that's a big part of his therapy. Howard said she never moved in. Artie said that she did have a drawer and a key. He said she got the dog and the dog was big so that set them back. He said she stopped coming over so much when she got the dog. Artie said the dog was half Rottweiler and half horse or something. Artie said that when he'd go to Dana's house he'd feel like he had a threesome with her and the dog.
Howard told Artie that he wouldn't go into therapy for Dana but he's doing it for this girl. Artie said he was in therapy well before he met this girl. Howard said if she starts in with the dog thing then he has to put an end to it. Artie said she already knows that. He said she was interested in getting one but he told her he's not a big dog person.
Artie said he doesn't know how someone stays with him. He said that he's not sure why this girl hasn't run away like people did from Herman Munster. Howard said he's going to do the whole Munsters thing this weekend. He's going to be watching it on DVD this weekend.
Howard told Artie he should keep some of this stuff to himself. He said he's like the opposite of Kate Hudson. He tells too many details.
Howard asked Artie if he and his girlfriend are doing Thanksgiving together. Artie said they're still planning that and they're not sure what they're doing.
Howard asked Artie if he's engaged. Artie said he's not. Fred didn't think that she was ''the one'' for Artie. Howard asked how his mother and sister like her. Artie said they do like her but they think she's a little young. Artie said that's good for him though. Artie said his sister likes her a lot and they have a lot of the same interests.
Artie was talking about how his sister wanted to pay for some stuff for his girlfriend and he felt guilty about that. Howard said he shouldn't because his sister is making a very good living. Artie said that he knows that and he's dealing with that stuff in therapy. Artie said he felt really weird being around the guys working on his shore house because he wasn't sure he deserved that stuff. Artie said his sister won't let him buy stuff for her. He said he likes that but he feels like he wants to do that.
Howard asked if the new girlfriend is willing to convert to Italian. Artie laughed and said that they have her in courses and she's learning how to say Pizza Gaina as they speak.
Howard said he thinks that this relationship depends on how Artie's mother and sister like this girl. Howard said Adrienne has to please Stacy more than she does Artie. Howard said that the mother is another one but Stacy is the one who has to be pleased.
Artie said that he would marry someone if he was truly in love with someone. Howard said that he would be forbidden from doing it if his sister wasn't happy with the woman. Howard said that would be forbidden fruit to him. Artie said that's not true but Howard insisted it was.
Howard asked Artie if he's in touch with that part of himself that hates his sister and mother. Artie said that they have dealt with that but he hasn't met that part of him yet. Artie said if he does, he's going to punch him in the face. Howard said that if Robin ever dates Artie she's going to have to please Stacy too.
Artie said his mother and sister want him to be happy more than anything. Howard said he's going to be happy with those two. He said that they have to leave him alone now and stop him from opening up so much. Artie said that Howard has opened him up like someone gutting a fish.
Artie said he was dating a girl one time that was really hot. He said that his sister told him that she was dating him because he was on a TV show. She was basically telling him that she was dating him because he was on a TV show. Howard said he's pretty sure a girl from California isn't going to get to date Artie. His family isn't going to like that.
Howard said that Artie was wide awake now and he needs to go back to sleep. Fred said he wasn't wheezing anymore. Artie said he can't wait for the Wrap Up Show to hear their recap of that. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said they have a story about Robin's Girl Fund event. She said they had a big turn out for the event. Robin said Lisa was there and looked beautiful. Fred said she had contacts on last night. Howard told her she should do that there. Lisa said that it's hard in the morning to put them in. She took her glasses off to show Howard what she looked like. Artie gave her a shocked ''Dah!'' when he saw her like that. He said he loves when Belushi does that in ''Animal House.''
Lisa talked about some of the people who were at Robin's event last night. Howard did an impression of what Robin must have sounded like giving a speech there last night. Lisa said that was kind of what it sounded like. Fred said the speech was actually very good and he couldn't even goof on it. Robin thanked him for that.
Howard didn't have a problem goofing on Robin's speech. He made up some stuff that she could have said while doing an impression of her voice. Howard asked how long the speech was. Lisa said it wasn't too long. She said it was very good. Lisa said that there was a young man speaking during the speech and she had to shush him.
Lisa said that artist Brendan Murphy was there and she asked him about dating Robin and he had no new information to give her.
Lisa said they also spoke to Rob Schneider about the morning radio show he walked out of and he thought Howard was right about the way they handled the whole thing. Lisa said that Rob thought he was being Punk'd on that show. Lisa said that Rob learned that he should only come on the Howard Stern Show.
Sal came in and said that video is great. He said they coach the woman to say the N-word and it's very good. Howard told him he should pull a clip of that. Sal said that the guy's cock looked like a fire hydrant dipped in chocolate and the guy was stabbing this poor woman with it.
Howard said he had a couple on the phone, Shawn and Kelly, who wanted to promote their web site. Howard said they run a web site where they show Kelly having sex with her husband and many other men. Howard asked if she's ever had a black man. She said she hasn't. Howard read about how they started the site to show ''real'' sex instead of the fake stuff that's out there.
Kelly said she thinks that their site is good because they're having real sex and showing it. She said they're swingers so they go to a lot of parties and hook up with other couples and swap with them. They film it all too. Howard said that she blows her husband and a web site member as well in one of the clips they have. Howard said that's a web site with benefits.
Howard asked if it's a lot of money to be on their web site. She said that it's her full income and that's the only job they have. She said they have about 1000 members on the site. She said it's about $20 a month to be part of it. She said if you're lucky you might get to have sex with her.
Howard asked where Kelly was as they were talking. She said she was in bed and her husband was giving her oral. Howard asked if he was doing a good job. She said he was just getting started.
Howard asked what she was doing exactly. She told Howard how he was pulling her panties to the side and licking her down there. She said she thinks about Howard when he's doing that to her. Howard said that can't be true. She swore it was.
Howard read that Kelly had been drugged by a family friend one time and she ended up leaning over the side of the hot tub she was in and the guy who drugged her stuck his cock inside of her as she was vomiting over the side of the tub. Howard said nothing turns a guy off. He said girls don't want guys who are throwing up but it sounds like a guy doesn't care.
Howard asked Kelly why they weren't talking dirty to each other. Kelly said that Shawn had a mouth full of pussy in his mouth. Howard said maybe he'd let them get into it a bit. Howard asked how old they were. They're 33 years old. Kelly said that she was really wet inside as they were talking and she said her husband was going to make her squirt. Robin was done when she heard that. Howard said he's not into that either. Howard said guys are the people who like to squirt.
Howard asked if Shawn works. She said he does some construction work sometimes. She said he doesn't have to do that all the time.
Howard asked if she brings women home for her husband. Kelly said she does that and she'll pick them up in clubs. She said they think she's a stripper herself because she dresses really slutty.
Howard said the web site is called HousewifeKelly.com. Howard let them do their thing and she put the phone up to her pussy so they could hear what he was doing to her. She gave them every detail about what he was doing to her as it was happening. At one point he was fingering her and it sounded like he was brushing his teeth or something.
Howard asked Kelly if they had kids. She said that was kind of a buzz kill. Howard let that go and she kept going with the sex stuff. She said that her husband was inside of her and fucking her. Howard said she is a hot looking girl. Kelly was in the middle of fucking and said she was going to cum. She told Shawn what to do as they were doing that. Howard and the guys listened in as Shawn exploded all over her.
Howard asked some questions about some news stories but Kelly wasn't answering. Howard said he's not sure he could handle this situation. He thinks he could but Robin said there's no way he could.
Howard asked Kelly if she would stop doing other guys if her husband wanted her to stop. She said she likes having other cocks inside of her so she can't stop. Howard said he would be very angry if another guy was doing his wife. Howard said she might be enjoying herself too much with this stuff. Howard let them go after giving them some plugs for their web site. HousewifeKelly.com.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was a trucker and they were mood killers during that segment. He said he was trying to hear that chick get fucked. Howard said he might be right but he was just trying to be funny during it. The caller said he was yelling at Howard to shut the fuck up during the segment. Howard asked Adam if he called her back and let her do it again. The caller said he'd appreciate that.
Howard asked Robin if she thought he blew it. Robin said they're never very erotic over the phone. Howard had Kelly back on the phone after that and asked her to have phone sex with this truck driver or have sex with Shawn again. She said she would love to have phone sex. Howard let the two of them go at it with each other over the phone. Kelly was trying to turn this guy Adam on and he claimed he had one hand on the wheel and one hand on his cock.
Kelly said that her husband was back with her and he was doing her again. Adam was part of that this time and he was talking about sticking it in her mouth. Kelly said she loves doing that. She didn't sound like she was as into it as she was earlier. Howard tried to stay quiet during most of it but he did interrupt a couple of times.
Howard asked Adam if he was still driving his truck. Adam said he was but he was keeping it straight. Howard said the caller was more of a mood killer than he was. Howard said he had enough of this. Howard said Kelly was good at what she was doing. He said he liked what he was hearing. He said it sounded very loving to him. He let the two of them go after that.
Howard said that they're also going to play clips of Sal's weird pronunciations of words from the Wrap Up Show. He was saying the word Villa as ''Vee-lah.'' Sal came in and said that's the way they say it over in Italy. Howard told him he's not from Italy so that's not the way to say it.
Howard played some audio of Sal saying ''occult'' instead of ''a cult'' during a recent Wrap Up Show. Howard asked Sal if he ever reads anything. He had to explain to Sal that there is a difference between ''occult'' and ''a cult.'' Sal said he thought it was the same thing. He said he never knew that's what it was. Howard said that he's out of his mind for saying ''Vee-lah'' too.
Howard played the audio of Sal talking about the villa thing during yesterday's Wrap Up Show. Sal was talking about women and why you have to lie to them. That's when he mentioned the ''Vee-lah'' thing. Howard said Sal seems like a bright guy but then he says this stuff. Sal said that's the way they say it in Italy.
Howard asked Sal if he's going to be okay at the Christmas party. Sal said he'll be like Terri Schiavo at the party. He said he has to behave around his wife. Howard asked if he's getting sex now. Sal said that they did it recently. He said every time they want to have sex she tells him that his breath smells like shit. Howard said she can't stand Sal and the sight of him.
Sal told Howard that he and his wife got into a fight the day after they had sex and she told him that he was the most rude and inconsiderate person that she's met. She told him that his breath smelled like shit the other night and it stunk like shit. Sal said he can't win. He said it's not even worth going to brush his teeth anymore. He said he'd rather roll over. He said he can always go and jerk off if he has to.
Howard said he liked the prank call Sal and Richard made with the Medicated Pete clips. Howard played the call which was to a piano store. Howard told Robin to listen to it and let him know what she thinks about it. Howard said Gary didn't think it was that funny but he did. In the call they had Pete saying he was Howard and asking if they were good at piano. Pete asked how the guy got into piano. They took those clips from yesterday's dating game. They had Pete asking the guy what he was into and basically asking the guy if he could hang out with him. The guy hung up on him so they called back and had Pete asking him what his interests were. They had Pete telling the guy he's the kind of guy who likes to hang out and drink. The piano guy kept trying to hang up and eventually did.
The guys were all laughing so the call must have been good like Howard thought it was. Howard said it was funny. Fred was laughing like a mental patient. The guys all liked the call. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said that Chaz Bono was on the Today Show earlier. He said she looked like a coach of a football team. Howard wondered why she has to look like a fat man. The guy told Howard to check out the visual.
Howard said he's going to suggest a new show for people to watch. The show is ''Steven Seagal: Law Man.'' He said they follow the guy around with a video camera because he's a member of the some Louisiana police department or something. Howard said its some little town that gave him the ability to be a cop. Howard said that he does some weird shit with his hands to subdue people. Howard said Seagal is about 300 pounds and he has really dark hair. He said he looks like Captain Janks if he joined a police department. Howard said Seagal shoots a gun and tells the other guys he's training how to do what he did. He said he tells them that they should be able to shoot through the same hole that he just shot through. Howard said that the other guys can't shoot like he does. He said the show was very entertaining.
Howard said Seagal is all out of breath and sweating because he's so out of shape. Howard did an impression of what he sounds like talking and he was all out of breath and wheezing. Howard said that people recognize him when he's out doing the cop thing and they ask him for his autograph. Howard said Seagal always takes the side of black people and never the white people.
Gary said he's put in a request for him to be a guest on the show and he's keeping his fingers crossed that they can get him. Howard talked more about the way this guy can't be a cop because there's no way he can run at that weight.
Howard did more of his impression of Seagal and talked about some of the other stuff he does on the show. Howard said he teaches everyone how to do their jobs. He said it's unbelievable. Howard said at one point Seagal picks out a guy on the street and thinks that he's going to pull a gun so they pull him over in the police car with lights blazing. Howard said they end up chasing the guy and Seagal tells everyone to stay calm and says that it looks like they've taken another gun off the street. Howard said everyone has to watch that show.
Howard asked each of the players what they did for a living and also asked them how they got into this last round. They all called into the Superfan Roundtable and won when they played against other people. Howard asked Steve how long he was a fan of the show. He said that his father used to watch the channel 9 show. He said that he started in 1994 or so. Steve has been listening since NBC. He said in the last 15 years he's missed one or two shows. Gina said she's been listening since NBC as well. She said she was very nervous though.
Howard saw that Matt was having trouble with his headphones and said that always happens there. Howard had to move on with the show though.
Howard said that Matt went to see Artie at a comedy show about 7 years ago and Artie yelled at him. Matt said he was drunk and it was after Artie lost a bet on Tiger Woods. He was just yelling out random stuff and Artie yelled at him for that. Howard asked if it's great when Artie picks on him like that. Matt said he was thrilled just to get on his radar. He said his girlfriend was pissed off at him because Artie said he could be calling his girlfriend a cunt there.
Howard read about how much Matt loves Eric the Midget. Matt said they need a whole channel dedicated to Eric. Howard said there are people who love and hate Eric but nothing in between. Howard said he loves him too. Matt said that Jimmy Kimmell said it best when he said that Eric treats Howard as an equal. He said that he loves Eric bitching about stuff and he could listen for hours. Howard had Eric on the phone and Matt told him that he loves him. He said that he loved the awkward silence he gave him too. Matt said this is as great as having John Lennon coming back from the dead and speaking to him. Matt said he doesn't go on that Stickam web site to see Eric but he has been friends with him on Myspace before. He said he actually took him off of his friends list. Matt asked if he could be his friend now. Eric said he has no problem with it now. Matt said the flying with balloons thing is his dream. He said he'd love for him to do that. Matt said Eric wrote him a note about a picture of balloons he had in his profile and said that they would never been attached to him... EVER.
Eric said he was calling in to apologize to Artie for what he said last week. Robin said that was a big deal. Eric said he was getting one side of a two sided story and it sounded like something else was going on. Howard said that was big of Eric to call in like that.
Howard asked Steve if he likes Eric. Steve said he loves to hate the guy. Gina said you have to be a fan of Eric's and you can't not like him on the show even if you hate him.
Howard read that Matt has a girlfriend who is 7 months pregnant. Howard asked if they're going to get married. Matt said they're not and he wanted to name the kid Howard but his girl scoffed at that.
Howard moved on to Steve and asked him how he did on the Superfan Roundtable thing. Steve said he got 5 out of 5 on that show. He said that he knows about all of the stuff from the show. Howard read that he even plans his vacations around the show vacations. Steve said that's true and he hasn't missed a show in about 15 years. He said if he does miss it he tapes it.
Howard read that Steve was in the crowd scene in Private Parts and he was first in line at a Robin book signing. Howard wished him luck with the game too.
Howard asked Gina about who her favorite person on the show is. She said it was Fred. Matt said he loves Artie and Benjy. Howard sounded shocked that he liked Benjy. Matt said he loves the stuff he does and thinks that there should be more of him. Howard asked Gina about going to a lot of Killers of Comedy Shows and getting to meet Beetlejuice. She said that she's known him for years and she's a sweetheart. She said that it's become a friend of his and of Bob Levy's so she gets to see them outside of the comedy show thing. She said she gets to do a lot of things with Bob because she lives near him.
Howard asked Gina about how she did on Superfan Roundtable. She said she thinks she got 4 out of 5 right. Matt got 3 out of 5. Howard asked if they were worried about Steve. Gina said she wasn't worried about anyone. Howard said as superfans they'd like to know about next week's show. He said they're doing a Best of 2009 countdown all week long. Spyder Harrison will be hosting that show.
Howard said that on Thanksgiving Day they're doing a Sour Shoes special from his house. Howard said that's happening on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day at 3pm. Howard said he's going to tune in for that.
Howard said it was time to get to the game and told the guys how it was going to work. They all had to write down their answers to questions that he was going to ask. They had 5 point questions first. He said they're going to be easy at first. Here are the questions and answers:
Next up were the 10 point questions. Here they are:
Next up were the 25 point questions. Here are those questions and answers:
Howard had to do a tie breaker between Steve and Gina. Howard said he was going to ask one more question and that was... ''What movie did Howard and his ex-wife Alison see on their first date?'' Howard said Matt was playing along in this one. He said he could redeem himself in this one. Gina had nothing. Steve said it was Rosemary's Baby, he was wrong. Matt was wrong too. The answer was ''Lenny.''
Howard said that they still had a tie and they had to do yet another tie breaker. He asked ''What Tom Cruise movie did Kenneth Keith Kallenbach have a scene in before it was cut?'' Matt said it was Rainman, he was wrong. Steve said it was Vanilla Sky, got it wrong. Gina got it right with ''Jerry Maguire.'' She just won $5,000.
Howard said he thought Steve had this game. He had the right answer for Kenneth's movie and he changed it at the last second. Howard congratulated Gina with her win and then had them bring in her $5,000 check. Howard said the money was courtesy of Beck's Beer. They gave her the check and Gina thanked them very much. She said she was going to pay some bills with that money. She said she loves Beck's too.
Beck's is going to be at Sutton Place tonight where they're going to be doing the Superfan Roundtable show. Howard ended up giving the other two guys $500 cash and a $500 gift certificate to Steven Singer Jewelers. Howard said that Gina was very nervous coming in there and she ended up winning. Gina thanked Mutt for having her on the show and her husband Joe too. Howard said that Gina has proven people wrong for saying that the real superfans are only men.
Howard said Gina has the bragging rights and she's the biggest Superfan of all time. Howard ended the segment and went to break a short time later as they were singing the Howard Stern Superfan theme song.
Howard came back and said he was giving the Superfans a tour of the studio during the break. He said he wasn't paying attention to the Ozzy song.
Howard said on the Wrap Up Show yesterday Shuli and Dan the Song Parody man got into a whole thing. He said he wanted to talk about that and play some clips. He wants to make an offer to Shuli and Dan. Howard also thanked Steven Singer Jewelers for that money he gave the two guys in the game.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man and Shuli got into a fight on the Wrap Up Show. He played some of the audio of the two of them going at each other about their comedy and how they've helped each other out over the years.
After playing the clip Howard said they also got into it about who was funnier. They ended up challenging each other to a comedy showdown. They talked about going to a comedy club and having a show down. Howard said that they should do that in the studio. Howard said he's going to offer them the shot at doing that with 3 judges in the studio. Howard said it should be great. Artie said that he'd like to have an audience in there too. Howard said that's what he wants to do.
Gary had mentioned it was like an ''8 Mile'' type of challenge so they ended up playing some Eminem music. Howard said his youngest daughter is really into Eminem right now. He said that she wants him to introduce her to him but he said he's not sure what happened to that guy. He did the show once and never came back. Howard said he'd like to come through for her. He thinks that she'd flip out if he did that. Howard said he wants to make that happen somehow.
Howard said he didn't know that Shuli's last name was Egar. He said that he can't stop saying his name now. He loves it.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric has been asking for money for food and money for it. He got a call from a guy who said he paid for some food for Eric and Eric doesn't want to talk to them about that.
Steve said they have a story about Gary being ripped a new one by the host of a show called ''Tough Love.'' The guy is trying to get on the show and Gary won't let him on. Gary said that no one has ever heard of him so that's why they don't have him on.
Steve mentioned that Robin's episode of Jeopardy is on tonight. Robin talked about that a little bit and said she's up against Julie Bowen and Jane Kaczmarek. That led to them talking about Julie coming on the show one time and being beaten by Fred in Win Fred's Money. Gary said he talks to her on Facebook once in a while and she thinks that Fred is a psycho because he won't let it go to this day. Fred said he was just having fun that day.
Howard told Dan that if he thinks he's funny they should do it in the studio. Dan said he's talking about doing it in front of a crowd. He said that he wants to do it at a club first and then maybe on the air. Shuli said he hasn't seen Dan since a show they did in the Pocono's and there was no laughter for Dan at that show. Dan said that there wasn't any for Shuli either. Shuli said that he never has to plug in his laptop on stage like Dan does either.
Howard said that this is like Sam Kinison vs. Dice Clay but no one cares about this fight. Howard said it sounds like Dan is turning this offer down. Dan asked Robin about seeing him perform once and how that went. Robin said he did get some laughs.
Howard asked if they're friends. Dan said they were at one time. Dan said that's despite the fact that Shuli ran a story about him being a thief. Shuli said he wasn't even the one who did the story. He said it was Mike Piazza who did that story. Shuli said he didn't have his facts straight about that. Dan said that he did have a quote in the story and he did claim that he stole the gift bag. The two of them said that they're going to unfriend each other on Facebook. Shuli said he'd unfriend him before Dan could do it to him. Dan told him he was a piece of shit and all he does is throw everyone under the bus.
Shuli told Dan that he's even boring in an argument. Shuli told him that if they did the stand-up on the show it might get him some notice and get him a job. Shuli said that Dan is going to go out and do comedy as Dan the Song Parody Man and use the notoriety he got from that. Dan said he does it under his real name most of the time so that's not what he's doing.
Dan told Shuli he wants him to say all of this stuff face to face. He said it's harder to lie to him if he's face to face. Shuli said he'll tell it to his face if he comes down there to do the comedy showdown thing. Shuli said that he's pussying out of this thing and this was Howard's idea. Howard said that he wanted to have them do this and maybe hug at the end of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he got pulled over by Steven Seagal and he just busted his balls trying to figure out which star he was.
Robin read a story about the Forbes list of over paid actors. She said that the number one person on the list was Will Ferrall. Robin said he's had a few dud movies lately so they figured that based on how he's performed in the past couple of years. Robin said he doesn't do very well on his return for the money. Robin said the best guy is Shia LaBeouf. He makes $160 for every dollar he makes. Will makes 3.60 for every 1 dollar. Robin read through some of the other names on the list and there were some big names on it. Jim Carrey, Leonardo DiCaprio and others were on the list.
Robin read some news about the guys from Aerosmith saying that Steven Tyler may be back on drugs. Artie wondered if Tyler had an He problem. He said that might be why he'd go back. Robin said they're claiming that Steven isn't acting like a normal person lately so he might be back on something.
Robin read about Larry King's son getting a TV gig. He's 10 years old and he has a sports show on Fox Sports Net.
Robin read story about Kellogg's announcing that there's a shortage of Eggo waffles because of a problem with one of their processing plants. There's going to be a shortage until next summer. Howard said that was a great invention for people who are too lazy to make their own waffles. Howard kept calling them ''Leggo's'' so Robin had to correct him on that. Robin said that they lost some of the production lines because of flooding in one of their plants.
Howard said he created a breakfast with eggos with an egg in the middle. He said that he used to make that for the kids. He said he looked at it one time and realized that it had been in the freezer for like 3 years and nothing had changed. He said that can't be right if they never change.
Gary told Howard they had another clip of Artie making that noise again. Howard said Artie was doing it a lot. Howard played that clip and Artie was making really strange noises. He'd hold his breath and let it out and it would wheeze out. Artie said there was no way that was him. Howard said it was him and that wasn't even the second clip. Howard played the new clip and Artie was wheezing in a way that no human being should wheeze. Howard said Artie doesn't even know he's doing it. Fred played a chicken clucking sound that was a lot like the sound he was making. Howard said it sounds like he's really tired or something. Artie said he went to bed around 9 or 9:30 last night.
Howard said Artie has also been biting his arm and smelling it. Artie said he's not smelling it, it's just a nervous condition he has. Howard played the noise again to hear him wheezing. Artie said it sounds like a little fat man crying inside of him. Artie said he may be crying tonight when he goes up to Albany tonight. He has 2 more shows to do and that's it. He said he's doing one more after Albany and that's it, he's done with stand-up for a while.
Robin read some news about Nicholas Cage's financial problems. She had more details about the story she read yesterday. They had a break down of the stuff he's bought over the past few years. Howard wondered what he was doing buying all of that stuff. Robin said he's not the worst guy who owes money to the IRS. She said that Joe Francis also owes a lot. They've filed a lien against him for $33 million. Artie started laughing in his guy who laughs at everything character. Robin said that Joe Francis could end up in jail for a long time again if he doesn't pay those taxes.
Robin read about a woman who left $40,000 near a shrine in a church. She kept it stashed there and it was still there when she got back.
Howard said that Joe Francis should do a ''Guys Gone Shitting'' instead of Girls Gone Wild thing while he's in jail.
Howard had the Artie Lange whistling noise on the phone. He asked the noise some questions. The noise was answering questions about doing the comedy show tonight and stuff like that. Howard asked if the noise likes living inside of Artie. The noise answered no. It also said no when Howard asked if it was attracted to Sal's wife. Artie said it sounds like he swallowed a humming bird that's depressed or something.
Robin read about this woman who had stashed her stuff at the shrine at the church. She claimed she had done that to let the blessed mother look over it for her.
Bobo called in and told Howard he loved this new Beetlejuice episode that's up on Howard TV. He described the show to Howard and Howard hung up on him.
Robin read about the new suggestions for women getting mammograms and how Sheryl Crow has come out against waiting two years to get them done. Robin had some audio of her talking about that on Larry King's show last night.
Robin had a story about Sarah Palin doing a book signing and claiming that Michigan was very much like her home state of Alaska. She had some audio of that idiotic speech.
Robin read about Dick Cheney's gay daughter giving birth to a second daughter. Howard said he loves that he has a gay daughter because it makes the guy somewhat human.
Robin read about the Great American Smoke Out being today. Howard said today is also the fourth day in a row that Mike Gange showed up for work. He goofed on Gange a little bit doing that strained voice impression that he does. Robin said Ralph is just as sick as Gange is all the time. Artie said he has already blown the smoke out thing. He was smoking in the shower this morning.
Robin said it's also World Toilet Day. They're trying to get safe toilets for prisoners in jails. Robin said that they're inhumane in many locations. Howard said that next thing you know they'll want thicker mattresses.
Robin read more about a story she read about this guy bringing his son out into a field and shooting him in the head execution style. They now say the father heard that the kid may have had sexual relations with an infant, that's why he claims he shot the son.
Ralph called in and said that they can't compare him to Gange for being sick once. Robin is lashing out at him because he couldn't go out with her once. Howard said Robin used to make fun of him for hanging out with Ralph and now she wants to hang out with Ralph all the time. Robin said she didn't know him back then.
Robin read a story about some new settlement in Israel that they want American's to come over and buy. It's in a bad location on the West Bank.
Robin read that President Obama's approval rating has dropped below 50 percent for the first time. Robin read some details about that. Howard said he can't wait to meet his new neighbors on the West Bank. He said he's sure the neighbors will be glad to see him there.
Robin read that the father of the child who first accused Michael Jackson of child abuse has committed suicide. They say he was 65 years old and he was suffering from some kind of disease but they're not elaborating on the story. Robin said the guy hasn't been in touch with his son for the past few years. They also said that the guy had a bunch of plastic surgery trying to change his appearance so Michael Jackson fans wouldn't come after him.
Robin read about Senator Robert Byrd being the longest serving senator in office. She had some audio of him talking about what he's seen in the time he's been serving.
Robin said that they announced that the Jets coach cried at a morning meeting recently. Howard said he should. They goofed on that for a short time. Robin said he's lucky he didn't do it on camera.
Robin said that Brad Pitt turned down $5 million so he could go out trick or treating with his kids. Howard said that sounds retarded. He said he'd go out and take the 5 million if he had that chance. Howard said he'd just sit the kids down and tell them what he was going to do and go do it. Robin said he was given an invitation to go to Dubai to go to a ball there. They were going to pay him $5 million just to show up. Howard said he'd sing, dance and moon walk if they paid him that kind of money.
Robin had a story about Sandra Bullock being in a new movie and had some audio of her to play. She had some other movie news that she went through for Duane Johnson and Nicholas Cage. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:30am.
Jon asked what Gary thought of the contestants today. Gary said that they were all good but Matt was younger so he had a little disadvantage. Jon thought he did well but Steve and Gina had done very well. Gary said he beat Steve on Beat the Booey but he did great. He said that Gina was great too and she and her husband Joe are supposed to be two of the nicest people.
Jon said that Matt was talking about the pride he took in heckling Artie. He asked Gary if he gets that from a lot of people. Gary said he gets that all the time but sometimes it's a term of endearment. He said that one of the most annoying things was when a guy got on the speaker in a supermarket and said ''Baba Booey... third aisle... Baba Booey.'' He said no one was reacting to it other than him. He said no one else knew what the guy was talking about.
Jon said that Matt also liked Eric the Midget. Gary said Eric handled it the way he handles everything and that was with no feeling. He said he has no feelings at all.
Gary said he had moved the questions around before they played the game and he thinks that they were sufficient. He said you know when you fail with a question when no one answers it. Benjy thought it was interesting when they didn't answer those couple of questions. He said he even learned some stuff today.
Gary said that even he doesn't know what Vinnie Favale's official title is sometimes. He said that was a good question.
Jon asked Gary who would have done the best on the quiz today. Gary said he would have. He said he goes way back with that stuff. Gary said he didn't know one of the questions they ended up throwing out. IT was about one of the staff members who broke a copy machine while copying his ass. That was Fred and Benjy knew the answer to that.
Gary said that he has a really good memory and he knew the answer to the Butt Bongo question. He said it was the year he got married so he knew that one.
Jon played some audio from the game where Steve Blew it with his ''Vanilla Sky'' answer instead of ''Jerry MaGuire.'' After the clip Gary said that all three of them were super nice people and it worked out well.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked who came up with the questions. Gary said that Jason, Doug Goodstein and some others came up with the questions. the caller said he had a problem with the question about the movie Howard took his wife to. They said that was a tough one.
Another caller said he noticed that no one picked up on the question about JD and the web girl and how one of the guys mentioned Cookie Puss and no one knows what that is. Gary said they assume that the fans know what it is already.
Jon said that he never claimed that he had over 80 women give him blow jobs in college. He said that number was much lower and they blew it out of proportion.
Another caller said he used to make that noise that Artie was making today and it was from stress. He said he got over it by following Dr. Sarno like Howard has suggested. The guy said he thinks that Artie is under stress trying to stay sober and that's how the stress is coming out. Jon asked the guy if he knew he was making the noise. The caller said he heard it himself and noticed that he was doing it a lot. He had a lot of other issues and that's how it was all coming out.
A caller asked about the Cougar contest they're doing and why they have 35 year olds playing. He said he thinks that it should be 45 and up. The caller said he thinks that they should be much older but Gary said they could have a 55 year old come in and look better than a 35 year old. The guy said that the contest is cut off at 50 though. Gary wasn't aware of that.
The caller asked if the channels will continue there if Howard retires. Gary said that's not clear and they have to wait and see. He said Howard could decide that he wants his shows to go on but he's not sure about that. Gary said that Howard hasn't done anything yet and they won't know until Howard does something. He said that they're all on separate contracts there so they all have to work out their own deals. He said that Howard doesn't pay them all like some people think.
The caller said he thinks it would be cool to have Howard have someone come in to be mentored to replace him. Gary said Howard isn't looking to replace himself there and he'd never do that. The caller said he thinks that he'd have a guy who would keep the brand going. He said the guy wouldn't be able to fill his shoes but he'd be able to have control over his channels there. Gary said that Howard would pick someone but he's not going to mentor them. The caller said he thinks that those are some big shoes to fill and he'd have to do that. They went back and forth on that for a short time.
The caller asked if Gary the Retard is really retarded. He said he thinks that he's really not retarded. Jon said that he's one of the finest actors in the country. The guy also asked why they didn't ''Wah'' Ronnie when his mom died. Gary said that his mom died, there's no reason to do that.
Jon moved on and took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to talk about Sal and the Villa thing. He said that it is ''Vee-lah'' like Sal was saying. The guy said that is the correct pronunciation. Gary said that's not the way they say it in this country though. Gary said no one in this country says it that way, no one. The guy said that Sal shouldn't take shit for that because it's an acceptable way of saying it.
Jon asked if it was the dog that came between Artie and Dana. Gary said that it may have been part of it. He said the dog was part of it and it was a good way for Artie to get out of other things.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the Shuli and Dan thing would be unfair to Dan if they had the comedy thing in the studio. Shuli would have the advantage there. Gary said that Dan works there for them and he is part of the family. Shuli came in and said that there are some people who think he's a loser too so he's not sure he'd have an advantage.
Gary said that he didn't think they were ganging up on Dan yesterday. He said he has a lot of stories about Dan that people bring to him and he just doesn't have that stuff about Shuli. Ralph was defending Dan yesterday too so there are people on his side.
Jon said that if you're funny, you're funny. He said when they did the World's Meanest Listener thing Sal was great and he didn't expect that from him. He said he thinks that a studio audience could pick the funnier person out of Dan and Shuli if they did it there in the studio and no one would have an advantage.
Benjy said that he's heard that Shuli might be more seasoned and he thinks that not every stand-up act would work in the studio there. He said it might work better in a comedy club. He said that Howard might not fit best in every forum even though he's great on radio.
Shuli said you have to adapt as a comedian so you can't just do one type of show. He said that he did a show for an all black audience one time and he had to adjust to that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Shuli is great and maybe Dan is looking for the big payday. Gary asked what kind of payday he'd get. Gary said that there is no money in it at a comedy club. Gary said that they'd be doing a favor for those two guys if they let them come in and do the show. Gary said neither of them would see a nickel from it.
Jon also asked Gary if he thinks that Howard is really on the Springsteen wagon now. Gary said he used to say that he didn't get the whole thing but now he does. Gary said the thing that bums him out is that Howard never listened to him in the past about how great Bruce was. He said that Howard would also take Artie over him if he was going to a concert. Gary said he's been telling Howard about Springsteen much longer than anyone else and he should be considered over Artie if he ever does go. Jon said it sounds like he's really hurt. Gary said he's not.
Jon said that Robin has jumped on the bandwagon too. Gary said she has. He went on to talk about how Howard used to goof on the Springsteen stuff in the past when a new album would come out.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if the reason Gary didn't show up to Robin's thing was because a doctor had to shove his finger up his ass yesterday. Gary said he had a bunch of other stuff going on at the doctor but not the finger up the ass. He said he has to make sure he doesn't get more kidney stones so he has to go to the doctor to make sure that it's working out.
Ross Zapin came in and told Gary that he would be the one who he'd bring to a Springsteen concert if he had to choose between everyone there. Ross said Gary is the biggest fan and he would appreciate it the most. They talked about Bruce for a few minutes and shared stories about going to shows in the past.
Ralph called in to get on the Bruce Springsteen vortex and said that he doesn't think that Howard is on the Bruce bandwagon. He heard a good song and liked it. That's about it. Gary said Howard isn't like the biggest fan but he is on the bandwagon. Gary said that he definitely likes Bruce now and he didn't in the past. They spent a few minutes talking about how great his live shows are.
Ralph said that Artie does all of these external things to stop from fixing himself internally. He said he hopes the chick isn't another one of those things that he thinks is going to fix the stuff inside. Jon said that Artie said that it's not that easy but he's in a better place now. He said maybe it will work out well.
The guys talked about some of the stuff Artie was talking about today. They brought up how he has guilt when he sees guys working at his house and stuff and he feels that he should be the one out there doing that stuff. Gary said that Artie's girlfriend is very nice and she might be really good for him. Ralph said that she's hot so that helps.
Gary asked Ralph if he would ever get married. Ralph said he can't say no but he doesn't think that he'd do it the way most people do. He's not sure that he could do that stuff. Gary asked what the longest relationship is that he's been in. Ralph said that he had a meth head stripper he dated. He said he dated her a few months or so. He's never been in a really long relationship. Ralph said things kind of fizzle out and it just doesn't work. Ralph says he's in a relationship with himself and he loves the freedom of doing whatever he wants when he wants. Gary said that's very selfish. Ralph knows that and doesn't seem to care.
Gary asked Ralph if he's ever had his heart broken. Ralph said he met a super hot Spanish chick one time and she kind of broke his heart. She got pregnant by some other guy and that broke his heart. He said that she used to stay over for a few days but then she would just disappear with all of her stuff. He said he was bummed out by it back then but then she had the baby and that was it for him. He's over it now.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Bruce some more. He said no one cares about him and he's not suer why they're so in love with the guy. Gary said he hears that a lot from people and people think that no one outside of New York and New Jersey care about him. Ross said that's because no one has passion like they do there. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary asked Benjy if he would want to do something like that. Benjy said he wouldn't want it 100 percent open but he would like to have other women. He said a lot of guys want that. He said there are women out there who are fine with their husband being with other women and them not being with other men.
Jon played some audio of some of the sex Kelly was having on the phone. He had the clip where it sounded like the husband was brushing his teeth. Howard was also asking about kids and Kelly tells him that it was a mood killer.
After the clip the guys talked about how they must have kids and it would be funny if they heard the kid knocking on the door or something.
Jon also brought up the truck driver that called in and had phone sex with Kelly. They spent a minute on that and then went to the phones.
A caller asked how Gary says he knows everything about the show when he can't remember little things that Howard tells him. Gary said he thinks that he would be very good at it but no one can remember every single thing. The caller said he thinks that Fred would beat him. Gary said Fred doesn't remember a lot of stuff.
Jon took another call from a woman who said she was glad that Gina won the contest. She said that they don't have a lot of women on the show unless they're strippers and people like that. She said that she's the first female caller they took today too. Gary said he's glad Gina won today too. He said that it's nice to show that it's not just dudes who know the show. The caller said that they need to have some women on this show too. Gary said they don't do that usually though. They do have Lisa G on sometimes. Jon said that it is kind of a gentleman's club there so he can see where she's coming from.
The caller asked Gary about him not wanting to see his wife have sex with another man. Gary said that he just can't imagine it and he doesn't have any desire to see it. The woman said there's a double standard there and she has done other guys while she was married and her husband was fine with it. She said that he has been part of it and there have been times when he's watched her do it with other guys. Jon asked if she would mind if he was with other women. She said she wanted to say no but she thinks she would be jealous.
Benjy asked if she does repeat guys or if they're new. She said she does repeats. Gary said that would bother him even more. Benjy asked her some questions about how they go about this and who the guys are. She said that they're usually guys that her husband knows. She said that the best thing is to talk to each other about it all and be honest about it.
Benjy asked if they have kids and if they know about this stuff. She said that they're small so they don't know about it. The caller said that sex doesn't have to be that sacred. Gary said he doesn't get that but the won't judge her over it. Benjy said he does judge and he wanted to know what she looked like. She said that she might be called a cougar but she hates that term. She said she's 5'3'' tall and 140 pounds and she's 41 years old. They wrapped up with her a short time later.
Jon took another call from actor Brian Wilson who said he wanted to congratulate the girl who won. He said she would have beat him too. Brian won the contest for the biggest black Superfan on the show. Brian said that he wasn't sure why they didn't go with a buzzer this time. Gary said they felt it was easier to follow what they were doing. Brian was kind of bummed that they had a $5,000 prize for the white fans and less for the black superfans. Gary said they should do one for every ethnicity.
Jon asked Tim what he thought about Robin's speech. Tim said he thought the whole evening was great. He said it was nicely done and the attendance was surprisingly good. Tim didn't know what the theme of the evening was though. They called him out on that.
A caller asked the guys if they would rather have a Christmas bonus over the Christmas party. Gary said that the party is more important to him than the money is. He said that might be different for other people there. Gary said that the party means more to him now because he's not sure how much longer they're going to be together.
The guys were trying to figure out how much Howard might be spending on each person. He said that maybe $250 a head. He asked Benjy if he would rather have that or the party. Benjy said anything over $400 would be better than the part.
Tim and Shuli were fighting at the end there so Jon asked what was going on there. Shuli said Tim just came in and started trouble with him so they were messing around. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:55am.