|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back from their week long vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about the complaints they had about being off last week. Howard said some people did say they enjoyed ''Fight Week'' though. Howard said he tuned in and heard himself yelling at Gary most of the time. Artie said it should have been called ''You fired Gary week.'' Howard said that nothing actually changed after he yelled at everyone though.
Howard said he has to talk about Letterman this morning. He said everyone is waiting to hear what he thinks about that. Robin said that she's fascinated by that whole story.
Howard said that a lot of people went out and bought copies of the NY Times when Obama won and that was the headline on the paper. Howard said that he never thought about doing something like that with a newspaper. Howard said he did yesterday when he bought the NY Post and they had this great story about David Letterman in it. Howard said he saved that and he brought it in with him this morning.
Howard said he was looking at the big ad in the paper about Imus going over to the FOX Business network. Howard said Imus has been in the business for 40 years and he's gotten the Marconi award four times. Howard said he's also a Radio Hall of Fame inductee. Howard said they're making a big deal about him going to FOX.
Robin said that she watched Dave's whole show for the first time since he came on because she sees him in a new light.
Howard said everyone was wondering about what Dave was going to say and if Dave was going to talk about it at all. Robin said she was thinking that Dave was a sexy guy now after all of this came out.
Howard said that Dave had one of the Kardahsian's on the show and when she walked out she looked kind of sexy. Howard said he saw Dave telling her she looked lovely and he figured Dave was going to get her up to her secret room. Howard said they talked about that secret room in the NY Post story.
Robin talked about how Dave had this hot chick from the show ''House'' on the show and he was talking about how pretty she was and how a guy can get her to move into a bus and she was thinking about how maybe Dave would get her up to his secret room.
Howard said Dave seems to be going after chicks who aren't even that hot. He said that there were people on the show that Dave allegedly had affairs with.
Howard said that Beth used to work on Letterman's show before she met him. Howard said that she says no one ever approached or anything and it was a great experience for her. Howard said he got really angry with them over there when they stopped having her on the show when he started dating her. Howard said it was fine when they didn't know he was dating her. When they found out though, they never called her again.
Howard said he called Vinnie Favale and asked him about what was going on because he always felt that Dave was doing it because he felt that he had to have a harem around him. Howard said he's not sure what they thought Beth was going to see over there that she would tell him. Howard said they didn't have to take that away from Beth.
Howard said he spoke to Vinnie at the time and there was a girl there who booked her over there. Howard wasn't able to remember her name though. Howard said that she claimed that they just didn't have any work for her over there. Howard said it was all horse shit and they never called her back. Howard said she lost out because of that.
Howard said he made a rule there a long time ago. He said this is the kind of thing that people think he's up to over there and that's not the case. He said this semester they have only male interns there and no female interns. Howard said Dave is the one who is busy having his ''Dave's Angels'' around him all the time.
Howard said people think he's up to this kind of thing himself and that's not what's happening. Howard said he'll bring up sex on Dave's show and he gets all uptight about it. He said the whole repressed from sex thing is weird. Howard said he's not pervy because sex isn't pervy to him. Howard said he doesn't have to hide it from people. He said that we're human and we do it. He said it's always the uptight people who are up to weird shit.
Howard said that Jay Leno has to be up to something too. Howard said he thinks he fucks his car or something.
Howard said he made a rule there about never messing around with the interns. No one there is allowed to date an intern, not even JD or Benjy who are the lowest there. Howard said he was just joking when he said Benjy was the lowest. Howard went on to talk about how they can get into a lot of trouble messing around with interns. Howard said he wouldn't want anyone messing with his daughter if she was an intern somewhere like Letterman's show. Howard said he would beat the shit out of Letterman if he heard he was up to something like that.
Howard said when you're in charge of someone like that, you have a position to sort of set a moral tone at the work place. Howard said you can't walk around knowing that if you suck off the boss that you'll get ahead. He said it's very wrong on so many levels. Howard said he wouldn't want his daughters in a work environment like that. Howard said it sets up a really bizarre workplace when you do something like that.
Howard said that there are no people threatening to sue Dave or anything but you still don't want anything like that going on at work. Howard said Dave must know that on some level.
Howard said that this could come back and bite Dave in the ass because he didn't apologize to his wife. He said that Dave should have apologized to her the night he talked about it. He should have said something about her when he was talking about that. Robin said that if he cared about her he wouldn't have been doing it at all. Howard said that's true but he was making a public statement and he should have said something.
Robin said she liked that Dave called himself a creep. She said that Dave didn't have her standing at his side like these other guys like Elliot Spitzer did.
Howard said this makes Dave human to him and he likes that he came out and talked about it. Artie said he's just glad Dave isn't gay.
Howard said he sent a note to Vinnie and Rob Burnett and asked how Dave was doing. He said that Dave is a nervous guy and he has to be uptight about all of this. Howard said he really does care about Dave but he thinks that he made a dumb move doing this stuff. Howard said it makes you look really bad.
Robin asked where all of Dave's wives and girlfriends came from. They came from inside his show. Howard said that the girls must be turned on by the fact that he's the boss over there. Howard said he's a legendary icon and has tremendous success. Robin said there's one girl who stepped up and said that she was ready to marry her but the age difference came into play. Dave may have been looking for a different person or ''new pussy'' instead.
Howard said he read about this one woman who Dave was seeing and he asked her to start taping the show ''Jackass'' for him because he was trying to relate to younger people that way.
Howard said that it's going to be hard for Dave to make fun of these scandals now. Howard said Dave won't be able to call them hypocrites now because he is one himself.
Howard wished Dave the best and said that he's been very good to him. Howard said that Dave is getting what he deserves though. He said Dave knows better than to do something like this. Howard said he should go on AshleyMadison.com instead if he wants to have an affair.
Howard said this producer who was trying to blackmail Dave is another weird one. Howard said the guy is a bright guy but he should have known that Dave wasn't going to put up with that. Howard said he should have told Dave to show up nude so he wouldn't have a wire on him. Howard said that this guy was asking for a 2 million dollar check and there's no way a bank is going to cash that. Howard said the producer was apparently a creep too. Howard said in the memo they must have written ''for extortion.''
Howard said Dave did the right thing calling this guy out and busting him. Howard said the guy was claiming that he was just coming out with a screenplay about all of this stuff but no one ever pays 2 million for a screenplay. Howard said that Quentin Tarantino never even got that much for any of his screenplays.
Howard said there are people calling for Dave to be fired over this. Howard said he's not sure that's what they need to do. No one is complaining about this so far.
Howard said Rob Burnett wrote him back and told him that everyone is doing fine. He never heard back from Vinnie after writing to him. Howard did his impression of Dave calling him from the bus and whispering about all of that.
Howard said he had to watch Letterman that night to see what he was up to after he came out with all of this.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked Howard if he would have felt differently if Dave had been with older women. Howard said he gets what he's saying but when you go behind everyone's backs and do this stuff it's kind of a scummy thing. He said that he's not holier than thou but there was a pattern of Dave doing things with employees and he won't allow things like that where he works. Howard said if he had a person there that he was attracted to, he would sit everyone down and talk to hem about it or maybe wait for them to stop working there before doing anything.
Dominic asked if Vinnie ever gave him a hint to what was going on. Howard said Vinnie is a pro and he would never say anything to him. Howard said he has seen some odd things going on over there at Letterman so this really doesn't surprise him... but that's a whole other story.
Dominic said that Dave doesn't work for CBS directly. He has a policy of his own since he has his own company. Howard jokingly said that he got wise to it when he found condom wrappers around his dressing room over there.
Howard said he believes that Dave was doing oral, anal, piss videos and all kinds of things like that. He said he thinks there were some kinky things going on over there.
Howard said he was over at Letterman one time and he taped what was going on. He played a porn clip of a guy moaning and making strange noises as that tape.
Robin asked Dominic some questions about the case and Dominic was saying that there won't be any depositions in this case. They're just going to be trying to prove that this guy tried to shake him down. He said they may ask Dave questions about him having sex with this woman and if it was consensual.
Dominic wondered what this guy was thinking with the $2 million check and if he was going to pay taxes on it or what. Howard said he must not have been thinking straight with that stuff.
Howard let Dominic go and said that he knows a lot of guys who do this kind of thing at work. He said he knows a lot of powerful guys who do the same thing. Robin said that they're now calling the Ed Sullivan Theater the ''Bed Sullivan Theater.''
Artie said that Dave really lingered on his girlfriend when she was over there with him last time. He said he didn't think much of it at the time but now he's like ''Whoa!''
Howard said he couldn't figure Dave out but now he's thinking that it's pretty wild that he has this whole harem going on.
Robin said she never thought about Dave's office being this lair like they claim it was. Robin said that Dave was going to bring her up to his office one time and she didn't think much of it. She got a bunch of calls from famous people after that asking her if she got to go up there. She said she never made it up there though.
Howard wondered why Dave would get married if he was up to all of this. He said he was single and he could have broken up with his girlfriend and had a bachelor life. Artie told Howard that he thinks he won't be a guest for a while over there.
Howard said Dave should call him and ask him to do an interview with him. Howard said he can help Dave clear everything up over there. Howard said he wanted to do that with Michael Jackson but he didn't want to do that.
Howard said he would take over Dave's show for a night and sit behind his desk. He would ask him every question in the book and get it all out of the way. He would ask Dave to show them the bedroom and everything.
Howard said the whole story is just too great. He said that the whole bed thing coming out of the wall is just great to think about.
Howard said he went out to visit his daughter in California and went on a hike with her in the redwood forest out there. He said they ate at the top of a mountain and it was just great. Howard said his daughter is great too and he gets emotional just thinking about it.
Howard said he went out to visit Beth in Las Vegas since she had been gone for 2 weeks already. Howard said that she's doing some work in Vegas and California. Howard said that she had to work most of the time he was out there though. Howard said she did have 2 days off.
Howard said he told Beth that he was fine with her doing her thing out there. He was able to get along without her. Howard said he went out and played blackjack and lost. He said he has lost all desire to gamble now. He told Artie he should give it up too. Howard said he hates to lose.
Howard went to see a bunch of shows out there. He said that he went to see a Beatles show and it was great. He said that Penn from Penn and Teller told Beth not to see the show but it turned out to be great. Howard said it was Cirque du Soleil stuff but the music was great and it was the actual Beatles songs. Howard said they stripped out the vocals and came up with a whole new score. He said they had like 5 Beatles songs going on at once. He said it was pretty wild.
Fred said he saw the show out there and he thought it was great too. Howard had no idea he was out there. Robin said that Fred told him he was going out there. Howard forgot all about it.
Howard said they put speakers in your seat in this show so it's like surround sound. He said it was amazing. Fred thought it was pretty unbelievable too. He didn't want to like it but it turned out to be so good. Howard told Artie he'd enjoy it too because the music is so great.
Howard said he saw another show that's kind of x-rated. He said it's kind of an R-Rated Cirque du Soleil thing. He said he liked that too. Howard said they show tittie in that show.
Howard said he saw Kylie Minogue the last night he was there. He said it was like a circus because Paris Hilton was there and she was taping herself dancing and stuff. He said it was a weird scene. Howard said he doesn't go for techno music but that's mostly what they were playing there. He said that there were gay guys dancing and stuff like that. Howard said he only stayed about 25 minutes. Artie said that sounds like hell to him. He said that gay men and techno music is like Hell for him.
Howard said he was drinking a lot out there that night. Howard said it might not speak very well for the show that he left after 25 minutes. He stayed for the whole Beatles show.
Howard said it was his anniversary while they were out there. Artie said that's right, it was October 3rd. Howard said he had a great time out there and he and Beth both agreed that they won't leave each other for that amount of time again.
Howard said he thinks that Dave might be done now that he can't get pussy at work. Howard said as he says the word pussy he thinks about how Dave would cringe at the sound of that word. Howard said Dave doesn't want to be that guy and he might be done now that he can't get any. Howard said Dave must have a lot on his mind now. Robin said if he quits he has to go home to that wife. Howard said that's right. He can't win.
Howard said Dave should start dating models and starlets now. He said that's what Dave wants. He said his wife might just go along with it all though. Artie said that he thinks Dave has her so under control that she hasn't even heard the story yet. Howard said he might be right about that.
Howard said that Kidd Chris wrote to him and told him to have Evil Dave call a college and ask for some interns. Artie said that's kind of what they do already with him. That led to them playing a prank call they made to a club with Evil Dave calling a gay bath house asking for them to shut down the club for a while so he can be with some people there. He was asking for some towel boys and hitting on the guy on the phone.
King went on to talk about David Letterman's wife and how she shouldn't be that upset because Dave had relationships with more than one other woman. Howard said he thinks it would be less creepy if he was with just one other woman. Howard said it's pretty creepy that he's with a bunch of other women.
King said that his wife got upset with something the other day. He said they went out to this open house for this school for his kid. King said he got dressed nicely and they went to this auditorium. He said he was the only black guy there and his wife is Puerto Rican. He said that he raised his hand to ask a question and she told him not to say anything. King wondered if she's embarrassed by him. Howard said of course she is but not because he's black. He said that she knows that he's nuts.
Howard asked King what he wanted to ask. King said he wanted to ask the kids what their goals were after they graduate. Howard said that his wife was embarrassed because she knows that he's a moron. King said that's what she told him.
Howard said that when they asked if there were any questions they weren't asking for questions for the kids. Howard said that they were asking if there were any questions about the school. King said he had never been to a school like that before.
Howard said there's nothing wrong with King being a garbage man or a street sweeper but he gets why his wife didn't want him to ask any questions.
King asked Howard what he buys when he's out there shopping. Howard said he doesn't buy anything for himself. He said he buys stuff for Beth and his daughters but nothing for himself. Howard said he doesn't really buy a lot of stuff. King said that he's a very disciplined person. Howard said the last thing he bought was a membership to a chess club for $300.
King asked Howard one more question about this swine flu shot. He was wondering if he should get it or not. Howard said he won't consider it for himself but he's not telling King not to get it. Howard said he's all for building up your own immune system. Howard said he won't tell King not to get it himself though. Howard said he should listen to his doctor.
King was saying that he never goes to a black doctor. That led to Howard asking King why he wouldn't do that. King said that blacks hate blacks and they just don't treat each other right. He said that the only time he'll go to a black person is to get his hair done because they know what to do with black hair. King went on and on about why black people hate each other and why he can't use them for doctors and things like that.
King said it's not that he hates his own race. He said that they just don't like each other. Howard said that was the thought of the day from King of All Blacks.
Howard said it is a sad world they live in. He said he had to take a break after that. He said he could have spoken to King all day long though.
Howard came back and asked if that was from the soundtrack of that show he saw out in Vegas. Fred confirmed it was. Howard said the tickets to that show weren't cheap.
Howard said he had some great food out in Vegas. He said he and Beth and their friend Jill went out to eat and had a great meal. He said the restaurants are kick ass out there.
Howard said he and Beth had $500 each and they lost it in a half hour. He said he knows that Artie laughs at that amount but that's what he bet. Artie said he's actually envious that they can spend so little.
Howard said he has lost all desire to gamble now. He said that you should be able to see the dealer's cards in Blackjack but you can't, so the game is fixed.
Howard said the other weird thing is that he dropped a grand and he still had to tip the dealer. Artie said that it's about the high you get from almost losing that keeps you gambling.
Howard said he thought of Artie out there. He said he walked by this room that was the size of a football field and they had about 100 TV sets on and people were betting on every sporting event. Howard said that must be what Artie does.
Howard said he was out at a restaurant out there and they had a big screen with a football game on. Howard said that kind of ruined the ambiance out there but that's what people are out there for.
Howard said that people would go nuts when they saw him walking around the casino out there. He said that people don't expect to see him in a casino.
Howard said he was laying out by the pool too. He said there were some people taking pictures of him so he took out his Blackberry and took pictures of the MILFs out there. He said that it was a fun time out there. He said it's so dry there in the rooms that your nose bleeds and you can't breathe. Robin said they would have given him a humidifier if he had asked for one. Howard said he didn't know that. He said he was busy going down to the sauna instead.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked how bad Howard wants to be booked on Letterman. He said it would be a ratings bonanza. Howard said he's not sure he wants to do that. Howard let Bobo go pretty quickly after that.
Howard said he wanted to see this Letterman thing on YouTube that night that Dave was on talking about the whole thing. Howard said he searched YouTube for something about Letterman and there was nothing on there. Howard said he wrote to Doug Hurwitt and he told him that he had to check it out quickly before they removed it.
Howard said he found out that CBS was asking the people at YouTube to remove all of the videos. Howard wondered how they do that. Robin said they must have been working their asses off to get them off. Howard said that they should be shut down because they have all of this illegal shit on there and they don't remove it all.
Howard said if you do want all of your stuff removed you can't just call them and tell them not to let anyone put it up. Howard said you have to call them and tell them the specific link. You have to do it for each individual link. He said that he's been trying to get his stuff off of there and they can't get it all taken off at once. Howard said he'd like to know why they get to make the rules up over there. Robin said they use the excuse that they're not the ones putting the material up there. They're using the Napster excuse.
Howard asked David what he thinks about Dave Letterman. David said he's happy for him in a way. He said that Magic Johnson had a great system for doing similar stuff. They talked about the details of that for a short time.
David said that Dave is saying that all of this stuff happened before he was married but if they find that it happened after, then it might be a scandal. Howard said maybe Dave and his wife had some kind of arrangement. He's not sure about that.
Howard said that someone asked him if he thinks that a cheater can become reformed and stop cheating. Howard said he thinks that he can. Robin said that age can do that to a person.
Howard said he's not up to this kind of stuff himself but that's because he's not repressed like Dave is. David said he'd like to talk to some of the girls Dave was with. He said he'd love to hear their side of the story and the details of what they were up to.
David said that every woman he's ever spoken to about using a strap-on on their boyfriend has wanted to tell him about it as soon as possible. He said he'd love to hear if Dave was up to that kind of stuff.
Howard asked David what happened with him and his wife. David said that they weren't getting along so they're divorcing now. He said that she's a great woman and a great mom but it just didn't work for them. He said there is no animosity and no fighting. He said that they were married for 2 years but they were together for over 5 years.
Howard asked David if he's going to get cleaned out by this wife. David said that he has this book coming out so that is going to help pay the bills. Howard said he'll get to the book shortly.
David said that it's all good and they're adults so they're working through it. Howard asked if he's really an adult. David said that he might not be and that might be the problem.
Howard said he heard an interview with David and he was evaluating the judges. David said that his wife was upset that he was acting the way he was with the show. She didn't think that he should care so much about being kicked off the show.
Howard played the audio of David going off on the judges on Dancing with the Stars. David said that he was just joking around in that interview and for an hour before that he was saying what he was supposed to say about how great it was to be on the show.
Howard asked David about being on Dancing with the Stars and how that all went down. David said that for weeks before the show you're dancing on your own and the producers will come in and tell you that you're really good but not the greatest. Then they bring in people who are professional dancers on the show and then you have to kiss the judges asses when you get on the show. David said that his partner burst into tears when they saw how bad things were going to be. He said his partner was in tears worried that they were going to get kicked off the show.
David said that he tired to do the right thing and he did last for 5 weeks. Artie said that included the 4 weeks of rehearsal though. David said it actually didn't and thanked Artie for that.
Howard asked David about picking up ''road pussy'' at the comedy clubs he appears at. David talked about how some of the chicks you pick up might not be the hottest. He said that a hot chick in Minnesota may not be as hot as one in Los Angeles.
Howard asked David if a girl could ever be his wife meeting him at a club. David said it is possible but it's not like he's going to fly them home to meet his mother. David said that he's just looking for pussy when he's sleeping with chicks like that.
Howard asked David how it works. He wondered if the girls see David there and just want to bang him right away. David said that it's opportunity and it all depends on the situation. Howard asked if he will ever go back to road pussy for a second time. David said he won't because he's heard too many nightmare stories.
David told a story about going to clubs where they tell him which of the waitresses will fuck the black comics and the white comics and things like that. Howard asked if he has ever tried to overcome that chick who only fucks the white comics and try to get her. David said that he wouldn't bother trying to do that.
David said that he heard a story at the bar in a comedy club where this guy came in and said that he had just fucked the new waitress. The bartender then tells the guy that he just fucked her an hour after him.
Howard gave David some plugs for his book ''Barack Like Me: The Chocolate-Covered Truth'' and asked him what it was about. David said that it's a memoir but it's also a humorous look at going to the inauguration for Barack Obama.
Howard asked David if he got to see anything at the inauguration. David said Comedy Central hooked him up with a flight and with the hotel room there. He said that they called him and told him that they had a problem and weren't able to get him the platinum ticket because it was $25,000. David said he ended up with this purple ticket and it was like 10 feet from his hotel room. He said he never saw Obama. He said he never even saw the stage. He said he just got to stand and watch him on the jumbotron instead.
David said that he had this woman ask him to be his family that day at the inauguration. He said it became this really emotional moment and he ended up hugging this woman while another black woman was hugging her leg. He said it was actually a nightmare of a day.
Howard asked David if he felt weird using Barack's name in his book title. He said he really didn't. David told Howard about how when his show ''Chocolate News' was canceled he told his agent to call Dancing with the Stars to get him on that show.
David told Howard that there were a lot of hot chicks on that show with him. He said they had people like Denise Richards, who he thought looked okay, but then they had these 25 year old Russian dancers who were really hot. David said there is too much to learn and he just couldn't deal with it.
Howard asked David what he's doing next. David is doing a play on Broadway called ''Race'' with James Spader, Kerry Washington, Richard Thomas and more.
David told Howard he was talking to Chris Rock on Facebook and found out that the part was offered to him first. He said he really doesn't care though because he has the part himself now.
Howard said that David is going to be signing copies of his book in New Jersey and New York this week. Howard gave him some plugs for that and for his play ''Race'' that will be at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre in December.
David told Howard about learning his lines for the play and what that's like. He said that you just have to learn that stuff and it's not so bad for him.
Howard asked David if he thinks that he'll be able to bang this chick that he's in the play with. David said that it might be a little harder than the chicks in Minneapolis. He said he'd really rather bang an assistant or someone because it's less hassle. He said that he wouldn't have to worry about her giving him the stink eye on stage during the show.
Howard figured that David was already banging her. David said they're not even in rehearsals yet. He invited Howard and Robin to come out and see the play. Robin said she would see it. Howard said he would too but Artie said he was going to wait for the movie.
Howard gave David some more plugs for the book, the play and his web site DAGComedy.com. Howard was going to wrap up but Artie told a quick story about how he heard the name ''Larry the Cable Guy'' for the first time. This chick came up to him and told him that she wanted to bang that guy. They spent a minute on that and then had to go to break.
Howard came back and said they had so much to get to after taking a week off. He said Gary gave him a whole list of stuff to get to and he forgot about it already.
Howard said that Steven Stills is coming in later this week and he's going to perform something for them. Gary said that it's later this month, not this week. Howard said he won't get so worked up then. He said he still has time to cancel.
Howard said Gary told him that Phil Donahue was going to be coming in tomorrow and he was looking forward to that. He said that he liked Phil and wants to tell him how Oprah ripped him off. Howard said Phil invented that whole format. Howard said he was all excited about that but he canceled. Howard said it might have been one of those cases where he found out he was going to be on the show and got pissed.
Gary said he thought Phil was a big guest and told Will to rearrange the schedule to fit him in and Will asked him if he was the talk show host from the 80s like it was a really long time ago. Gary said it made him feel really old.
Howard said that Polanski lives in France and they won't extradite the guy. He does leave the country once in a while to go to Switzerland and they decided to arrest the guy there.
Howard said that you can't mess with the U.S. justice system because they keep an eye on the guy. Howard said that his wife looked hot though. Howard said that he'd love to see the guy do jail time if he was the father of the girl he was with. Howard said he's glad that he's going to serve his time now.
Howard said that Woody Allen was the first name he saw in the papers. He said he doesn't have the brains to keep himself out of the paper because the guy is with a young girl himself.
Howard said that he never watches TV when he runs but when he was out in Las Vegas he had to do something. He said that the TV was on the treadmill he was on. He said that The View was on and he didn't want to see seen watching that. He ended up tuning in to the Country Music channel and watched a Taylor Swift video. Howard said she's a cute chick and then he realized that the guy behind him was watching him watching Taylor Swift and he'd call into the show. Howard said he'd be called a fag and a homo and things like that. Howard said he watched the whole video anyway.
Howard said he was also watching the Marx Brothers and he figured that would be cool for someone to see him watching. Then he tuned into a Televangelist on the TV just so people would think he was watching that crap.
Howard said he tuned into The View and he doesn't know how anyone watches that show. Howard said Whoopi Goldberg was talking to the other Yentas about Roman Polanski and the other women had no idea what she was talking about. Howard said she's a huge show stopper because she wasn't making any sense. Howard said you can't follow a god damn thing she's saying.
Howard said that they were discussing Roman Polanski on The View and Whoopi breaks in and tries to explain what was going on with the case. Whoopi was saying that he didn't ''rape'' her because she was aware and the family was aware. Whoopi was saying that he wasn't charged with rape. The other women were trying to give their views but Whoopi was trying to make a point that didn't make any sense. She said that it wasn't ''rape rape.''
Howard said it was like watching retarded people. Howard said Whoopi doesn't know a thing in the world. He said that a producer must have told her to be careful about what they talk about with legal cases. Howard said that the truth is that he raped a girl. He said that he plead guilty to something lesser but the fact is that he raped the girl. Howard said Whoopi should read the newspaper once in a while to see what he really did. Howard said Roman did ''Rape, rape, rape, rape, raperaperape.''
Artie said that he took two sleeping pills the night before this and they were taken as prescribed. He said that he told the cops that he would take their tests and they were just doing their jobs. Artie said he wasn't acting weird in his opinion but the cops may have known who he was and what he had done before. He said they gave him a test on the side of the road and he had to stand on a leg and say the alphabet from a certain letter. He said he actually got that correct.
Artie said they brought him into the police station and gave him a Breathalyzer and he blew a zero. He said that they didn't know what to do at the time. Artie said that with most people they would have just let them go. They wanted to take a urine test from him so he gave that to them. He said the urine had the sleeping pills in it so that's what showed up.
Artie said that his lawyer thought the whole thing was going to get thrown out but the prosecutor didn't want to throw it out. He said that he indicted that he might want to read from his book in court and he didn't want to go through that. Artie said that the guy was trying to make the streets safe so he has no issue with that guy. Artie said they wanted to go to trial but then it was going to be costing him money. Artie said his lawyer told him that they could probably win if they did go to trial. He said that it would take time and money though.
Artie said his mother was going to have to take the stand if they had gone to court. Artie said that he didn't want her going through that. Artie said that there were many people who were going to be called into court and he didn't want to go through that.
Artie said that he can't drive for 7 months and he had to pay a fine. Robin was shocked like she hasn't read any news over the past week. She knew nothing about this case.
Howard asked Artie if that loss of the license has affected him at all. Artie said that it will but it hasn't so far. He said that he had to weigh out all of the options and this is what he felt was best.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that they never would have been able to convict him. He said that he has never seen a 0.0 get arrested before. Artie said that he didn't want to go through the whole trial thing so he had to do the plea deal.
Dominic was also saying that the Roman Polanski case is much more serious than a boyfriend/girlfriend rape case. He said that he's not sure what Whoopi was talking about. He said that the 13 year old was given quaaludes and had anal sex. He said that this guy has won an academy award. Howard said that he's not sure why people are defending this guy.
Chris was saying the only person that should be allowed to have sex with a 13 year old is that ''Scully'' (Sully) guy who landed the plane in the Hudson. Chris said that rape is second only to murder so he doesn't get why people aren't against this guy.
Howard said that Leno had nothing to say in that bit. He was just saying ''yeah'' the whole time. Howard played some audio of Leno talking about Letterman in his monologue. Jay said he was glad he was out of late night after all of what was going on. Jay said that he was in the 10 o'clock slot because of extortion. Howard said that Jimmy Fallon mentioned the Letterman thing too. He quickly played audio of that.
Howard said that Imus commented on it too. Howard played that clip where Imus said that he doesn't like Letterman but he does like Howard Stern. It wasn't even clear why he brought up Howard's name in that discussion. Howard said he's not sure why he brought him up because the other guy didn't even mention his name.
Imus was saying that Howard Stern is a nice guy and not a ''creep'' like Letterman is. Imus said that Dave is a punk and he doesn't like the way he jokes about some people. Howard said it sounds like he's bitter about Dave not having him on his show.
Howard said that Imus was saying that he was a good guy but he's still not sure why his name came up. Robin said that he was saying that people think that Howard is a creep but Imus was pointing out that he's really not a creep.
Howard said that he thinks she must have won. Robin said that she played against Jane Kaczmarek and Julie Bowen who has a bone to pick with Fred. Fred said he can't help it if she's not that bright. Robin said that Fred called her names on the show the day he beat her in Win Fred's Money.
Fred said that she's not known for her brains and that's okay. Gary came in and said they had read that she went to Princeton or something and they asked her to play Win Fred's Money. Fred kicked her ass and Fred was brow beating her right away. He thought Fred was just breaking her balls but it kept going on and she kept getting more and more upset.
Howard said that Greg Fitzsimmons interviewed Jimmy Kimmel and he was talking about Fred too. Howard played the audio of that. In the clip Jimmy was rating the guys on the show. Jimmy said he loves all of the people on the show but he ranked Fred at the bottom. Jimmy said there have been a couple of occasions where Fred has been wrong on things but Robin and Howard go along with him and it annoys him. Jimmy said that he doesn't have an axe to grind with Fred really, but there was one situation. Jimmy said that there was a guy yammering during Howard and Beth's wedding. It may have been Al Rosenberg. He said that Fred denied it ever happened even though he was right there witnessing it himself. Jimmy said that Fred denied it but he knows it happened.
Jimmy said there was another thing that Fred did. He said that Fred thought he knew about a fight that he and Adam had gone to and he wasn't even there.
Howard said that Jimmy is right. He said that he and Robin accept anything that Fred says. He said that they agree with him right away. Howard said they can't just accept his answer like that. Fred said he does admit when he's wrong.
Howard said they sent Wolfie out to interview the Philly fans about Michael Vick. Howard played some of those interviews and the fans were saying that they don't think it's that big of a deal that Vick did what he did with the dogs. One guy was defending Vick and saying that these SPCA places don't respect dogs either and they end up killing them if no one adopts them. The guy said that he had eaten dog before too when he was over in Korea.
Howard and the guys talked about that interview and how the guy sounded like he was ready to stomp on a dog. Howard played another interview that Wolfie did with a guy about Michael Vick. That guy was defending Vick as well. He said that he didn't think that he should be a role model. The guy said he would let Vick take care of his dog and he thinks that he would treat him right.
Howard said Ronnie was telling him about that show. He wasn't sure what channel it was going to be on. Ronnie came in and said that it's going to be on A&E. He said he saw the promo and it looked like Seagal couldn't even get up because he's gotten so fat.
Howard said that Doug Goodstein broke his wrist in a softball game. Ronnie knew about that so he told the story. He said that the guys were playing against the Rick's Cabaret girls in this game. He said that the girls didn't even know which hand to put their gloves on.
Ronnie said that Doug slid into second base like he was in a baseball game and he ended up breaking his wrist. He said he got up and it was hanging there broken.
Ronnie said they did some kind of wild operation where they cut the nerve through his armpit. He didn't need a cast and his wrist was fully useable in days. Robin said they had to have put something in his wrist. Ronnie said that they set it first and then they did this surgery on the nerves. He didn't mentioned anything about the break.
The caller said that he also staggered around at the scene and there was a witness saying that he was drunk. Artie didn't remember that either. Howard said he's not sure what went on but it's over now. Artie said he wasn't drunk so it doesn't really matter.
The caller said that he knows that he was put through a bunch of tests including an eye test. Artie said he didn't remember doing that either. The caller, who said that he was there, was saying that he saw all of this stuff going on. Artie said he was the cop who was helping out with getting the car back.
The cop said that there were other details that he might want to get to. Artie said he didn't want to get into it and he had his radio on so Howard just let the guy go.
Howard found out that Doug had a plate with 10 screws in his wrist. Robin said she knew that they had to put something in there.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she was trying to get Vinnie Favale to call her back and get him on the show for the contest they had a few weeks ago. Mariann said that they put these people on a pedestal and Howard is the one who is respectable. Howard said he likes Mariann but she was going on too long with that stuff. He had already said that earlier in the show.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked where he stayed out in San Francisco. Howard said he stayed at the Four Seasons hotel. He wasn't sure where it was located though. She wanted to know exactly where it was. Howard said he didn't know. Fred said that there is a Four Seasons on Market Street out there. The woman apparently didn't know that. Howard said that the woman must be part of the Howard Stern Historical Society.
Howard said that this kid Screech (Dustin Diamond) from that show ''Saved by the Bell'' wants to call in to promote his book. He trashes everyone on the cast of the show in his book. Gary said that none of the cast wanted anything to do with him for the reunion show that they were going to do. Howard said that he has a real problem with Tiffani Thiessen. Howard said they'll talk to him after taking a break.
Howard came back and said he noticed Robin was wearing a mini-skirt or something. Robin said it was a dress. Howard said he's heard from some people who think that she's looking really good lately. Howard said he's never seen this dress she's wearing today. Robin said she's worn it before. Howard said he's never seen it.
Howard asked Robin to come up to his secret room. He said he doesn't have a bed in his room like Letterman does but he may have to put one in there.
Howard said that he thinks he looks okay but there are some body parts that no woman should see. That led to them talking about this Erin Andrews stalker guy who got video of her naked in her hotel rooms. The guy was so creepy that he was asking to stay in the rooms next to her's and the hotels would give them to him. Robin said that's really bizarre.
Howard asked Gary to order him a pull out couch for his office. Howard said he could never bang a chick back there though because JD could hear him. He said he hears JD's laugh in his office all the time.
JD said he left his office once when Howard took Beth back to his office. Howard said he would never do that there at work.
Howard said he and Beth were banging like crazy before he left Vegas. He said he wanted to bang her on her period because he wanted to get in as much as he could. He said that he was willing to do it no problem with the flow but he didn't want to her do it if she didn't want to. Howard said he normally wouldn't ask to do it while she's on her period but he was leaving and he needed it.
Robin said she ran into Howard's niece Pam an they were talking and Howard's name came up. She said that Pam was asking her if she thought Howard was going to have kids. Robin said she's supposed to know everything apparently.
Howard said that was some tape there. He said that Dustin was also on Celebrity Fit Club and annoyed the crap out of people on that show. He said that he made that Marine guy crack on that show. Howard played some audio of that as well.
Howard got Dustin on the line and said that he has written this book ''Behind the Bell'' and it seems to him that he's bad mouthing them all and maybe it's sour grapes. Dustin said that's not it at all. He said that he had to work with these people every day back then. He said that he was going for the extras back then and he did fine.
Howard said that Dustin claims that Mario Lopez was banging Tiffani Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar was getting her and Elizabeth Berkley too. Dustin said that he was younger than they were. He was 11 while they were 14 and 15. He said that was a pretty huge gap. He said that they did their jobs and after that they didn't want to bring the younger, goofy kid along with them.
Dustin said that he was going to do a reunion show with them but they don't want anything to do with him now. He said that they were going to do a ''Where are they Now'' thing and he didn't want to do that.
Howard asked Dustin about the book where he calls Tiffani Thiessen a slut. Dustin said that he saw a lot going on in the 10 years he worked with those people. He said that there were a lot of horrible things going on.
Robin asked what it was that made him call her a whore. Dustin said that it's just his opinion. Dustin said he just wrote as honest as he could and that's what came out. Dustin said that he was 12 at the time and he's 32 now so he just goes back and tries to write it as he saw it back then.
Howard asked how many guys Tiffani Thiessen was fucking back then. Dustin said that he'd see her with guys when they went out on trips and stuff. He said there were guys climbing in and out of her room all the time when they'd go on the road. Dustin said that when you see someone bring 2 or 3 people to their room at the same time, it's not exactly hard to know what's going on. He said he was in the room next to her too so he'd turn up the TV so he didn't hear it.
Dustin calls Mark-Paul Gosselaar a douche in the book too. Dustin said that he grew up and mellowed out but back then he was kind of hard core and he was going for the attention all the time. He said he was the popular kid on the set too.
Howard read some stuff that Dustin wrote about Lark Voorhies. Dustin said that something had to have gone on at home with her. He said that she came in to do some commentary for a DVD set they put out and she wasn't talking and she'd flinch if a male voice said anything. He felt like she was like a beaten dog from what he could tell.
Dustin also wrote about how the producers of the show were afraid that Tiffani Thiessen was going to get fat like her mother so they ended up watching the food the whole cast was eating to make sure no one got fat. Dustin said he had to go out and get his own breakfast before the shoots so he could get the food he needed.
Howard read about Mario Lopez and what Dustin wrote about him. Dustin said Mario was like the Casanova of the show but he would stop talking to girls after he was done with them. Dustin said that they'd have some hot chicks come on the show and Mario would.
Howard asked Dustin why he gave a picture of his huge dong to Elizabeth Berkley. Dustin said it was supposed to be a joke but it went wrong. He said that they were joking with Elizabeth and the size of their cocks and they ended up sending her that picture.
Howard said that Dustin's co-stars aren't going to like the accusations he made in his book. Dustin claims that Mario had to have his breasts fixed after working out as a child. Dustin said he saw it first hand and it was very strange.
Howard read some of the accusations from the book like Dustin saying that Elizabeth Berkley hooked up with the guys on the show even though they were calling her sloppy seconds. Dustin once pissed in an extra's purse because she said some stuff about him. She started to blow him off so Dustin got mad at her when she started talking down to him out loud. Dustin said that he pissed in her purse.
Howard said that Dustin also calls Neil Patrick Harris an asshole. He worked with him on a movie one time and didn't like him. Dustin said that he worked with a bunch of people on that movie and at that time there were people like Neil Patrick Harris who walk this ''I'm a rock star'' attitude. He said that he had a starring role on a show and that led to problems. Dustin said he saw a lot of that going on when he was growing up in that world.
Howard said it sounds like Dustin is never going to hear form his cast mates again after this book. Dustin said that the whole book isn't about bashing them so there is some positive stuff in there. Dustin said that they have these ''Behind the Scenes'' shows and they never showed what was going on with their show so that's why he wrote this book. He said he's not trying to slam everyone just to slam them. He said he's trying to share some of the stories from the show that would never be told. He said it's balanced in his opinion.
Howard asked Dustin how he's doing with money now. Dustin said that he's doing fine now because the T-shirt selling thing he did worked out for him. He said that he's doing fine with his stand-up act and he'd like to come up and see them again.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked him to get this irrelevant asshole off the air. Howard told her to be nice because she could end up with pee in her purse.
Another caller asked if there will be a part 2 for the porno. Dustin said he will never do that again because it was something that got out accidentally.
Ralph called in and said that it sounds like Dustin is an angry guy and he's just mad that no one is paying attention to him. Ralph said it sounds like he's just jealous. Dustin said that's not the case. He said he's doing okay and you can't just take 2 sentences from the book and make it sound like that's who he is.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Dustin is a complete asshole of a human being. He said he used to go around asking for free drinks and free pussy. The guy said he heard stories about him. Dustin said that this guy doesn't even know him. The caller said that he has met him and he does know him.
Irish John called in and said that this is the typical Hollywood fuck up and he just sucks. He said his comedy isn't funny and he's just an asshole. Dustin said that he's doing just fine. John told him he sucks and went off on him for a minute before calling him a faggot.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he likes the interview. Howard said there are fans and haters out there. Gary came in and said that there's a whole web site dedicated to saying that he never sent out the t-shirts he was selling. Dustin said that they got a lot of stuff returned because of the wrong addresses.
Howard took some more calls and let some more people go off on Dustin. Dustin said he had enough interest in his stories that he was able to write a book about his life. Howard gave him some more plugs and thanked him for coming on. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said Dustin got hammered. He said he had a lot of other shit in that book that he didn't get to. He had problems with Fred Savage too. He read about him being a ''douche nozzle'' and how he had kicked a producer in the shin one time. Howard said Dustin claims that he had sex with more than 2000 girls. He said that he would go to Disneyland and pick up girls there.
Howard said he's thinking more of Mario Lopez after reading the book. Artie wondered how many chicks Mario has had if Screech had 2000.
Howard said there was a lot of negative reaction to him today. Howard said he wasn't expecting all of that. Artie said that being a child actor is a form of child abuse. He said it just doesn't seem right when you hear the stories he was telling.
Steve said that they were in court when Joe Halderman was arraigned in court. He said that he made bail and he did get out.
Steve said they have some more footnotes on Artie's DUI charge. He said that he's also going to be in a 12 hour course for people who drive under the influence. Artie said that he does have to do that. Robin got a laugh out of that.
Tim Sabean came in and said that Brad Driver asked him if they could send someone to the Letterman studio. Steve said he thought it was more about how they were going to cover the story, not about going down to the Letterman show. Tim said that was the extent of it.
Howard asked Tim if he had put on some weight. Tim said he had gained about 5 pounds. Robin asked how he did that. Tim said he got off track a little bit. He went out to dinner and didn't stick to his diet. Tim said he did two weeks of detox and he screwed up. He said that he's back on it so he'll lose that weight.
Howard asked what he did to gain 5 pounds. Tim said he had a crazy week last week. He didn't get to the gym and he went out to dinner a few times. He said he hasn't had time for his enemas and things. Tim said his job is getting in the way of his health. Robin said she has to talk to him and get him back on track.
Steve said that they have more about Artie's court case and what his lawyer had to say about that. Artie said he has to do that class but he's not sure when. He said that it's two six hour classes on some Saturday's. He said that it's going to be like being in school again. He said he has a feeling this is going to be worse than previous classes he's had to take. He said he's not sure if there is going to be a test or not. He's had classes like this before.
Steve said that Brent Hatley had a break down on the Bubba the Love Sponge show last Friday. Ralph claims that the breakdown was real. Howard said he wants to know more about that. Steve didn't know much more about it but it happened on the air and they should have audio of it. Howard said he wishes some of the bitches around there would break down and cry on the air.
Steve said that Rosie O'Donnell stopped by the Howard 100 News room and gave High Pitch Mike some advice on what to do for the rosacia he has on his face. Howard said he's wondered why Mike hasn't done anything for his skin. Steve wasn't there so he didn't hear what the suggestion were. Howard said he heard that Steve hates Mike. Steve said that's not true. Steve said that Rosie was saying that she loves the show and listens to it all the time too.
Ralph called in and told Howard what was going on with Brent over at Bubba's show. Ralph said he was driving over there to Bubba's studio when it happened. He said that Bubba wanted the guys to drink and have a good time on the show but Brent ended up throwing stuff and broke down crying when Bubba sent him in to the green room. Then Bubba wanted him to go in and start goofing on him while he was crying in the green room. He said that Brent was having a complete break down and they were busting on him even more. Ralph said that Bubba went into the green room to cheer him up and he started telling Brent not to be a pussy. He told Howard to get some tape of that.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show.
Howard asked Jon Hein about the lecture he gave at North Western. Jon said he did that because someone offered him the chance to do it when he said that he might want to be a professor of pop culture when Howard retires. He said he spoke for a while and took questions about TV. Jon said that the class was a media class so that's why he was talking about that stuff.
Howard ended up playing some audio of Robin being interviewed by Gregg Karmel in the hall there one time. He had mentioned that she was getting close to sexual harassment there with Gregg. Howard said that she was toying with her next victim in that clip.
Scott said that they're paying him well and flying him out there so he couldn't turn it down. Scott said that it's just for a couple of hours. He said that he's sure that the kids out there don't know what the ''Hands Up'' song is so he won't be playing that. Howard said he bets that the whole club shuts down after Scott makes his appearance there.
Artie said that DJ AM had a talent and he has been to that club out there. He said he was there when it was in the Hard Rock though.
Scott said it should be fun to do. He thinks it'll be great. Scott said he's just going to have fun with it and do the best he can. He said he hopes that everyone comes out for it.
Scott said his wife won't be going with him because she doesn't like to fly. Scott said he's going to check out that Beatles show while he's out there. Howard said Scott will get booed off stage in less than 10 minutes. Scott said that the Howard TV guys will be there to see it. It's on October 24th at Pure which is in Caesar's Palace out there.
Robin read that Tiger Woods is the first billion dollar sports guy. Artie said that's all from golfing too. He's making a ton of money off of endorsements. She read the details about how he made all of that money. Howard said he can't get an endorsement deal because people seem to think that he's a scum bag.
Robin read about the Steven Seagal reality show that's starting up soon. She had some details on that and Howard had some audio of the promo for the show. The guys goofed on him about that for a few minutes. They said it's like when Elvis was an honorary cop and tried to arrest people. They had to take a break after that.
During the break Robin fell off her chair so Howard tried to find out if they caught it on camera or not. Gary answered like he was being asked. Gary wasn't sure but Howard knew that because he's not back in the TV room.
Scott DePace eventually got on and said he wasn't sure because he was in the bathroom. Howard asked if everyone from the TV room goes to the bathroom at the same time. Scott said he's pretty sure they got it but he has to go back and check. Howard said he just wants to find someone who knows what's going on. Scott said do have it and they are backing the tape up now.
Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about David Letterman. There are some people calling for his firing. Robin said that he's not the only one who has had sex with underlings. Robin said that Andrea Pyser is seeing that it's wrong and she wants Dave fired. Howard said it really isn't the Letterman you think it is so it is kind of weird.
Howard said that Dave isn't the President or anything. He said that a lot of these guys aren't going after chicks. He said that he knows for a fact that Jimmy Kimmel isn't taking advantage of the position he's in. He thinks that Conan and Jimmy Fallon aren't doing it either.
Artie asked about Johnny Carson and what he was up to when he was doing the Tonight Show. Howard said that he was doing a lot of the guests they had on the show from what he's heard.
Robin read that Joe Halderman's lawyer is saying that he is innocent of this and he was not trying to extort anyone. The guy did try to cash the check according to Robin.
Robin read that Dan Rather has come out saying that he thought that Halderman was a stand up kind of guy so he's surprised at all of this. Robin said that Halderman faces up to 15 years in prison if he is found guilty.
Howard said the Howard TV guys did have video of Robin falling off her chair. They played that for the guys in the studio and Howard said he had to see it again. He said ''Wow!'' to that. Robin was reading some papers and she just fell off. Howard said that might be another Howard TV classic in the works. Howard asked how soon it'll be on the air. The guys told him it should be up by tomorrow at midnight.
Artie said that Jeff the Drunk falling was the best falling clip ever. Howard said Robin was sitting when she fell off the chair too so it was very strange. Artie said it was like she was thrown off the chair by someone.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about an earthquake in Indonesia that caused tsunamis and things. She said she was reading that they have to create a mass grave over there. Fred threw in a Jackie laugh during that story.
Robin read about how there may be more children suffering from autism in this country now than ever. It's not clear why that is. They say that it might be as many as 1 in every 100 kids who have it.
Robin read about Judge Sonia Sotomayor taking her seat on the supreme court. Robin quickly mentioned that and also mentioned the swine flu vaccine that's coming out. She said that they're looking to try and prevent an epidemic of flu in this country.
Robin had a song that a rapper came up with about swine flu. It tells people to keep their hands clean and wear masks around people who are sick.
Howard said he'd love to read that David Letterman and MacKenzie Phillips were having an affair. Howard said that drug addicts tend to lie and he's thinking that she could have made up all of that stuff she said about her father. He said that he's not sure about that but drug addicts do lie a lot. He said he's really not sure though.
Artie said he believes her. He knows that there are reasons to lie when you're a drug addict but her story seems pretty real to him. Howard said he really doesn't know. Artie said it's the saddest thing ever if it is true.
Robin said Larry King asked her if she enjoyed it. Robin said MacKenzie did say that she did enjoy it at times but other times it was just sick.
Robin read about how Jon Gosslin wants to end ''Jon and Kate Plus 8'' but it is going to go on as ''Kate Plus 8.'' Now Jon is going to try and end the show because he feels that it's hurting the kids. Kate is saying that Jon took almost all of the money they had in their account when he left her. She said she can't pay her bills now. She was saying that they did the TV show so they could provide for the kids and give them a good life. Howard said that maybe Kate should have thought about all of this before she had 8 kids.
Robin read about an actor, Tony Roberts, that started talking gibberish on stage during a play and how he was sent to the hospital and they think he'll be fine.
Robin read about the guy they arrested for stalking Erin Andrews in her hotel rooms. Robin said that he's one of those guys that you'd never suspect of doing such a thing from what his friends and family say about him. They spent a few minutes discussing that story.
Robin read about President Obama going over to try and convince the Olympic committee to hold the Olympics in Chicago. Howard said that he doesn't think it was a bad idea for him to do that. He said that there's nothing wrong with that at all. Robin said that some people were second guessing him and thinking it was wrong.
Robin said that there are people who want more troops in Afghanistan. More troops were killed over the weekend and the violence is escalating.
Robin read about the movie Zombieland making $25 million at the box office this weekend. She had some audio of Vince Vaughn talking about a movie he's in. Howard lasted about a second with that before cutting it off.
Robin had some audio of Chris Rock talking about a movie he's in. Chris was talking about working with Oprah Winfrey and there was some chick laughing at his every word in that clip. Howard said she was very taken with him. Fred threw in some Beetlejuice laughs to go along with that. Howard and the guys got some laughs from that. Artie seemed to love that. Howard said he really had to go.
Robin wrapped up and read about how yesterday was a very special day. Howard said he knows, he was on a plane with Ronnie the whole day.
Robin said that yesterday was the day to bring your pets to church. Robin said she did that with her cat so he could have a blessing. Howard said he wasn't going to make fun of that because he doesn't have time. He said she should have brought that up first thing this morning and he wouldn't have spent an hour on Letterman. He needed the show a short time later, right around 11:10am.
Jon went through his list of subjects for today's show and started off with the David Letterman discussions. Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Howard is the guy that everyone expects to catch doing hat Letterman was doing. Gary said that Howard has a better moral compass than most people in this world. He said that in the real world people are surprised by Howard having that moral compass.
Gary said that they were back at WNBC one time and this engineer came walking in with a hot chick giving her a tour. Gary said they figured that it was impossible that he had this hot chick. Gary said that it turns out the guy saw her picture on something she had sent in and he picked it out of the garbage and called the woman. Gary said Howard wasn't happy about that because he doesn't want people to have access to phone numbers for people like that.
Jon asked Gary about what Steve was saying about not asking to go down to Letterman. Tim had come in to explain that it was Brad Driver asking to go down there. Gary must have missed that part of the show.
Jim McClure said that it was a misunderstanding because they were asking to go down to CBS to cover the story, not to go down to Letterman's studio.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Howard will be on Dave's show or if Dave would come on to talk about this. Gary said that Dave only makes appearances on their show like once every 20 years. He said that it wouldn't be happening any time soon if they wanted him on.
Gary said he thought of Dave as an a-sexual kind of guy. He said that there was kind of a sexual tension between him and Terri Garr years ago and he never really thought much about it. He said he has to go back and reevaluate everything now.
Jon asked Benjy if he was upset with Howard throwing him at the bottom of the list today when he mentioned him and JD. Benjy said he was glad that he wasn't at the very bottom. He was actually honored.
Benjy wondered if Letterman could get into trouble for the way they handled the whole thing with that producer. He said that maybe Dave could get into trouble for going along with it the way they did. Gary said he's not sure about that. Jon said that the guy did try to cash a $2 million check. Benjy wondered what you're supposed to do with a check like that. Jon said he tried to cash it and not even deposit it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought Howard did a good job describing Letterman and the way people would think that Howard is the one who would do something like this. The caller said that the guys who try to hide it are the ones who end up being the people who do it.
The caller said that he's a stock broker and he put some client money into the stock and he doesn't understand why they're never there. He said that they're always on vacation and they get stuck with old shows. He asked what the deal is. Gary said that they get x-amount of vacation a year and it hasn't changed since Howard started there. He said that's part of his contract. The caller said that they could spread it out a little more.
Gary and the caller went back and forth arguing about it until they hung up on him. Gary said that Howard gets this vacation and they do spread it out over the year so it's going to keep happening.
Another caller asked how important Howard is to the Letterman ratings because he doesn't think that Howard will ever be back on now that Dave has come out with this stuff. Gary doesn't think that's the case. There will be other people who will joke about it according to Benjy. He said that he'll either have to deal with it or not do the show anymore.
Gary said that years ago Dave was very uptight about people doing physical stuff with him because of a neck injury. He said that maybe now they'll have to tell people not to touch him or bring up this case. Jon said that it could be one of those things but Dave is going to have to deal with it eventually.
Jon said that Dave doesn't need the ratings right now but people are tuning in to see what's going to happen. Gary asked Jon if he thinks that this is Dave's Hugh Grant moment. Jon said he thinks it could be. He said that he thinks that Jay Leno and Conan are done and the question is ''will Dave stick around.'' He said that they'll have to see what happens.
Gary said that he finds it hard to believe that he didn't want to cancel two sold out comedy shows to go shoot a photo for the ''where are they now'' thing that he was talking about.
Gary said that Dustin was goofing on Mario Lopez about being a TV show host but he wondered what Dustin has ever done that he can go out and goof on that guy. He said that it seems like a jealousy thing with him.
Jon asked Steve Brandano if there was anything about Mr. Belding in that book. Steve wasn't sure but he knows that the guy was a party guy. Steve said that guy does take advantage of his name but he wasn't sure if there was anything in the book.
Jon asked Gary if they take what Fred says as gospel. Gary said that he wouldn't go that far but he does believe that Fred knows a lot and he is often right.
Gary said that Benjy will go on the computer and he will look stuff up trying to prove it to Howard. Jon asked Benjy if he has to do that instead of just saying it. Benjy said he just wants to get the information out there and not take credit for it just in case it's not true.
Jon asked Gary about the way Jimmy Kimmel went off on Fred. Gary said he's got balls to say that because he would never be able to say that to Fred if that's the way he thought. They had to go to break a short time later.
Scott DePace came in and said that he was in the bathroom at the time. Gary said that of course those guys are going to go to the bathroom during a break. He said those guy sit in their studio all morning long working. Scott said the studio is very dark and they like to get out into the light once in a while.
Scott said that he missed the shot because he was out of the studio but he did catch it while he was away. Jon said he heard that Scott was blaming someone else for it. Scott said he wasn't blaming anyone. He said that they do have a bunch of guys in the studio. No one knew what to tell him about that clip.
Gary asked Scott if he feels any better when Howard isn't pissed off later in the day. Scott said it doesn't make him feel better. Scott said that it's a 5 hour show and they do deserve a break once in a while. He said that if they had missed that shot then they'd be screwed. He said that they don't isolate Fred so if he had done it, they could have missed it.
Scott said he doesn't think it's that bad to want a break of 3 minutes per hour to get up and stretch or something. He said that back at K-Rock they had 20 minutes to do that every hour.
Gary asked Scott if they're going to use that clip to end every show. Scott said they'll have to talk to Doug about that.
Gary said he got a whole long email about what happened to Doug and he really didn't read it because he didn't care. He said that Doug told him that he had to take his daughter to school today because his wife just had a baby. He read the first half and just forwarded it to Howard.
The guys talked about Doug breaking his wrist and how he blamed it on a divot by second base. Jon said he looked and there was no divot there.
Scott said he enjoyed that game for a few minutes but they weren't taking it seriously. He said that they were dropping balls on purpose so the girls would have to bend over to pick them up. Scott said he didn't want to bunt the ball for the girls. Jon said he felt the same way and he wasn't going to come in and just play so the girls wouldn't lose.
Doug called in and told the guys that Ronnie got it all wrong when he told the story about his surgery. He said that he told him all of the details and he still got it wrong.
Doug said that he's still in the hospital with his wife since she just gave birth to their son. He said that his wife finds it funny that he broke his wrist playing against a bunch of girls.
Doug said that he was telling everyone to take it easy and not get hurt and he's the one who gets hurt. He had no intention to slide but it was just an instinct to do it. He said that if you watch the tape you can see that he could have collided with the girl at second and he just took the dive.
Gary asked Scott why he was so intense about the game and talking about drilling the ball into a chick's head. Scott said he was there to play ball and not to jerk around like that. Scott said that some of the guys were there to play ball and some were acting like they had never played before.
Doug said that he didn't slide in head first either. He was actually dragging his hand behind him. Doug said that everyone was calling to make sure he was okay after that. Doug said that there was soft dirt there and there was an indentation there that he felt and that's why he said there was a divot there.
Shuli was in and said that he and everyone else were looking for a divot and there was no divot. He said that the divot was created by Doug sliding. Doug said he saw his hand below the dirt so that's why he thought there was a divot there.
Benjy said that Doug was kind of a douche in the hospital. Doug said that Benjy was asking a stripper to get on the gurney with him while they were working on his wrist. He said it was very bad timing. Doug said Benjy showed up with two strippers and it was a bad time.
Jason came in and said that Doug hurts himself every time they play a game. He said he's pulled a hamstring and he's popped his knee out too. He said that the guy is fragile.
Jason said that DePace was funny about it saying he was going to just pound the ball. He said that Doug was playing like Ricky Henderson.
Benjy asked Jason if he knew why they put them in the infield. Jason said he knew that they were trying to make the worst team in the world.
Jon asked Gary about the road pussy stories and things like that too. Gary said that he's not sure what the deal is with David getting divorced. He said that he's not sure what to believe about that whole thing. They talked about the story he told about going to the inauguration and how funny that was too.
Jon took a call from a guy who wanted their opinions on why Howard is always bashing Jay Leno. the caller said that Jay is actually a nice guy. He said that he's always out there for the people. The caller said that Howard and Jay are very similar in the way they do things. Gary said that there is a history with Howard and Jay. He explained to the caller about how Jay took Stuttering John away from the show. He said that there are also people who think that Jay is a phony and he just talks to people trying to make people think he's a good guy when he may not be.
The caller said that Jay is a very funny comedian. Benjy said that Howard has said that too. He always says that Jay is a funny comedian. The caller said he doesn't think that Artie is that funny and he's really awful. Gary said that this caller doesn't like Artie in the way that Howard doesn't like Jay. They were running out of time so Gary just said that Jay comes off as kind of phony and that might be why Howard doesn't like him. They ended the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about Richard Johnson from Page Six. He said that guy is weird. He said Richard wrote something about him while he was out in Vegas last week. Gary called him about it and said that Richard had called him asking about something and he had to tell him to call his agent. Howard said none of this is ever accurate.
Howard read the article where Richard wrote that Paris Hilton was asked to be moved away from him at the Kylie Minogue concert. Howard said he sat next to Paris one time at a basketball game and there was no problem. He said he went to this concert and stayed for about 25 minutes. He went and had a nice box to sit in. He said the seat was fine and he had a good time there. Paris wasn't there and she didn't sit next to them. Howard said he was next to Beth and Beth was next to her friend Jill and then two friends were next to her.
Howard said that Paris did come in with about 50 people and he didn't invite anyone to sit there, it wasn't even his box to do that with.
Ronnie said that some girl from the Palms came over and told them that Paris was on her way over with a bunch of people that was apparently ''her box.'' Ronnie said the person from the Palms said ''I don't think so'' when she heard about Paris thinking that was her box. They call came in and Paris saw Howard sitting there and she was asked if she wanted to sit there. Paris said they'd sit somewhere else and went over and sat over there.
Howard said that maybe Richard Johnson had it right then. He said he really doesn't know if he had it right or not but he writes stuff all the time that's not accurate.
Ronnie said that there was a cameraman there and he was shooting Paris and the concert and going back and forth so it was very weird. Robin thinks that the Malouf brothers pay Paris to be there. Howard said maybe the Malouf brothers threw the story out there. Howard said that they must have done that because they did mention the name of the hotel in the story.
Howard said this must be the way he pays them back over there. He said nothing is ever free. Howard said he stayed for about 20 minutes and left that concert. He figured he was getting used but it was very nice anyway.
Howard said that Steve Martin was there last night and he did bring up the story. Howard said he would have taken a different approach and he would have wanted to ask a lot more questions.
Gary came in and Robin asked what he was wearing. Howard said he looked pregnant in the white shirt he was wearing. Gary said he had a jacket that he was wearing with it. Howard told him to go put that on.
Gary said they were talking on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and wondering if Letterman is going to have Howard back on. Howard said of course he would have him back on. Howard said if he can't get any answers out of him he's not going to keep pounding away at him. He said he would love to ask him about it but Dave may not allow it.
Howard asked Gary if his shirt was from Layne Bryant. Gary said ''Fuck you...'' Howard said it really does make him look pregnant. Robin agreed and said it is weird looking.
Gary wanted to get his jacket and said that he has a lunch today so he was dressed up a little bit. Howard said he looks like a pregnant pirate.
Howard read some email feedback about the letterman discussions they had yesterday. Howard had some people who thought he didn't sugar coat his feelings. Other people thought he was kissing Dave's ass. Howard said he can't understand why people have the complete opposite impressions. Fred said he wonders if people are listening to the same show sometimes.
Howard figured that one guy may have tuned in late and heard him gloss over the letterman thing during the news. He said the show was very long and he was burned out on it by then.
Gary came back in with his jacket on and Howard said he did look better. Gary said that maybe Letterman wouldn't have him on now because of what was going on. Howard said he might be right about that because Dave is going through a lot right now.
Robin said that she heard that there were no problems at home with Dave and his wife. She found that hard to believe. Howard said that you never know what to believe in the paper anymore. He said it is fun to read though.
Howard had some audio of Dave doing his monologue and discussing the whole situation. In the clip Dave asked everyone if their weekends just flew by. Robin got a laugh from that. Dave said he'd give anything to be hiking on the Appalachian trail. Dave said he got into his car and even the navigation system lady wasn't talking to him. He said he spent the whole weekend raking his hate mail. Dave said it was chilly outside his house and inside his house.
Dave started to tell a Bill Clinton joke but cut himself off. Then he tried to joke about Mark Sanford and cut himself off again. The crowd loved it. Dave then started an Elliot Spitzer joke and stopped again. Paul Shaffer was laughing too. Dave said that this was just phase one of the whole thing.
Howard said he was in his shrink's office reading a magazine and Dave was on the cover of New York magazine. They were saying that Dave had grown up and it obviously came out before this all happened.
Robin said that Dave claimed that this was all in the past. Howard said he doesn't know if that's the truth or not. If Dave says it then maybe it's true. Robin said that he is a man though. Howard said that you never know. He said that he thinks that a cheating man can change his ways. Howard said he knows people who have changed and stopped cheating.
Robin said that this was a string of cheating, a long string. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said that some people are serial cheaters though. Robin said it may not ever happen again but she's not sure either.
Artie said he thinks that guys might have the ability to change too. He knows guys who have been given an ultimatum and have changed.
Howard said that Dave came back and apologized to his wife and his staff after the monologue. Howard played that audio too. In the clip Dave said he didn't want to talk about this anymore but other people do. Dave went on to explain what was going on in his life and how he had hurt people. Dave said he didn't know that talking about it on the air that people were going to start hounding the staff. He said it was very unpleasant. He said he's not having sex with these women now, that's all in the past. Dave said that Alan Caulter had wondered if they had sex.
Howard said he really didn't get the firs part of that. Robin said that they must have been being harassed about being the women that Dave had slept with. Howard said Beth was even asked if she was one of them. Howard said that Dave never hit on Beth so she felt kind of insulted.
Howard played more of the audio of Dave talking about the situation and Dave talks about how bad he feels about the situation he put his staff in. Dave said that they've always been very supportive of him there so he thanked them for that.
Dave also talks about his wife, Regina, who was horribly hurt by his behavior. Howard cut it off and said that this sounds like Jackie's apology to his wife Nancy.
Dave goes on to talk about how he has his work cut out for himself trying to fix what he did. Howard said Dave should just yell at her. He said that he should say that he's very uncomfortable and maybe she'll stop.
Howard played more of the audio and Dave talks about how he has to push through all of this. He said he feels he did the right thing. Then he apologized to the former governor of Alaska.
Howard played the audio of Jackie the Joke Man making his apology to Nancy about the Jessica Hahn bathtub incident. Jackie asks Howard not to make a mockery of this after saying he was sorry to his wife.
After playing that clip Howard said that was a total waste because Nancy eventually ended up leaving Jackie. Artie said that it would have been great if Jackie had broken that up with one of his jokes like ''Give Rodney a chance!''
Howard read an email about Robin where the person talked about how disturbing Robin's glee was toward Letterman's problems.
Howard had an email about Robin falling out of her chair yesterday and how funny that was. Howard said a lot of people were goofing on Robin about taking her cat to church. Robin said that's why she brought it up. Howard read some of those emails and people were wondering what was up with her lately. One person said that Robin was very smooth slipping that in at the end of the news so no one would notice.
Howard read some mail about High Pitch Mike since he came up yesterday. Howard suggested that he try Acutane on the acne on his face. Howard said that the writer was saying that it has been prove to cause problems with some people. Howard said that he knows people who have severe conditions and he feels really bad for them. He said he wasn't giving medical advice but he knows that some people have had good results with that stuff. Artie said he knows some people too. He knows two kids who have used it and it worked for them.
Howard said that it's funny that Les Moonves is married to a CBS reporter and he's the President of the company. Howard said that he's not sure what kind of talent she has and he's not sure if she got to where she is because of that relationship. Howard said that it has to be known that if you fuck the boss you're going to get places.
Howard said that these guys all do this stuff. He said that they date employees and there's nothing illegal about it. He said that some of them don't hide it. Howard said that Dave's problem is that he had a relationship and he was going behind her back doing this stuff. Robin said that these relationships weren't going to be anything but sexual. Howard said he thinks that it will all blow over. He said that Dave is handling it pretty good so far.
Howard played the Steve Martin audio from Letterman's show. In that clip Steve came out and told Dave he had a great weekend. Steve said it's really not funny, but then he said it was a little bit funny. Steve said it just proves that Dave is a human being and they weren't that sure before.
Robin said it would have been great if Steve came out and talked about what it was like to be left by Anne Hache for Ellen Degeneres.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it was almost like Dave heard Howard's show and he came out and did just what he suggested he do. Howard said he doesn't think that Steve Martin needs his show to come up with ideas. He said he'd like to take credit for everything but he's not going to do that with this situation.
The caller said that he was surprised that Howard didn't bash Jay Leno about the way he's been handling this. Howard said that Jay actually mentioned the scandal and his jokes weren't that funny. He said he could have been even funnier and biting but he didn't bother. Howard said that Jay's response was just kind of lame.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that she knows someone who massages Dave every day because he's paranoid about getting paralyzed. Howard said Dave does this weird thing when he goes to hug him and he's very afraid of being hurt. He said he's not sure what that's all about but he thinks he should go see Dr. Sarno.
The caller said that this woman she knows went to Dave's house and she said that Dave was paranoid about becoming paralyzed and he's never had a neck injury that should make him feel that way. She said that he's just a weird guy.
Howard said he can't imagine getting a massage every day. Another caller asked Howard a question about Beth but it didn't make sense to Howard. The guy said that Beth wouldn't screw Dave... Howard cut him off and said that Beth was never approached by Letterman and she never had a problem. Howard said he would have heard about it years ago if she had been approached. Howard said that they took her off the show when they found out he was dating her.
Howard said that Beth never saw anything going on over there and no one ever approached her. Howard said he thinks that it was only people who were full time there.
Howard said that he did get hard when he was kissing her goodbye out in Vegas. Howard said that he had to answer the door with a boner out there when the bell hop came up to get his bags. Howard said that she still turns him on.
Howard said that he'd do a lot more with Beth if she'd let him. Howard said that he'd lick her ass if she was into it. He said she's not into it though so he has to follow the rules. Howard said she would stop him if he went back there without her giving permission.
Howard said that he and Beth do make out but it leads to other things. They don't just do make out sessions. Howard said that he just follows Beth's lead. Howard said he still has feelings for her and that's a good sign. He said that he misses her when she's gone. He said he doesn't want her to go away when she does.
Howard said that on Beth's blackberry Beth changed her name to ''Homesick Beth'' because she's missing him so much. Howard said he hopes that she's missing him and not her parent's home. Howard said they really care about each other.
Artie said that Howard is in a perfect position to be in a healthy relationship. He told Howard that he doesn't have interest in sports so he doesn't watch it all day long or anything crazy. He said he doesn't golf either. Howard said he does have other interests. Artie said that some guys are never around though so that's not good for a healthy relationship.
Howard said that he thinks that going to therapy has really helped him out a lot. He said that every guy should do that.
Howard said he went to dinner with Stamos last night. He's in town working on the Bye Bye Birdie play lately. Howard said that they're in previews right now. Howard said they grabbed an early dinner and Stamos is a cocksman. Howard said that John fucks more than some people breathe. Howard said that John is probably fucking someone right now. Howard said your head would spin hearing his stories.
Howard said he got action when he got divorced. He said he didn't get that far into it though. Howard said he had a lot of weird things going on in his life too though.
Howard said that he has had several dates in one day. Robin said that John does it all multiple times. Howard said that John was saying to him that he wants to find his ''Beth'' and he told John that any of those girls he's been with could have been his Beth.
Howard said he told Stamos that he could have any woman. He has to come to a place in his life where he feels satisfied with one woman. He said he has to come to that conclusion and maybe he won't. Howard said John is going to find something wrong with every woman he dates. Howard said he could do that with Beth too but he has to be open to this idea of being exclusive and having a tight bond with someone. Howard said a lot of that comes from therapy.
Howard said he had to get in touch with a lot of stuff in therapy. Howard said that Letterman will never go and talk to someone but that's really what he needs to do. Howard said it probably goes back to his mother and Dave feels that he needs to get a tit in his mouth as often as he can. Howard said that you don't know where he's coming from.
Howard said that Dave is going to miss that room with the chicks and stuff. He said that it's a sex addiction and it's not going to be easy for Dave. He's really going to miss that secret room and the interns.
After hanging up on Sal Richard called in with his own stuff. He started out okay but got more and more over modulated as the call went on. His phone connection got really bad and said that his cat had been chewing on the phone cord. Richard's connection cleared up for a moment but then he started to mumble and the connection got really bad again.
After that Sal called in again with his bad phone connection. Sal still had the awful connection and tried to get through his stuff but they had to hang up on him again. Richard called in a second time with an awful phone connection again. They hung up on him too. Howard said that they must be desperate for calls on that show. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he might like that Miley Cyrus song. He said he doesn't like that he likes it, but he does like it. He said it's wrong for him to like that song.
Howard said he was reading about Roman Polanski in the paper and the guy raped a 13 year old. He said that he had Wood Yi on the phone to defend the guy. Howard picked up on him and Wood Yi (Steve the Engineer) had some thoughts on the situation. Wood Yi said that the 13 year old wanted to be famous and now she is famous. Wood Yi said ''Who among us wouldn't blow Roman Polanski?'' Wood Yi was having some trouble getting his lines out.
Wood Yi also said that it's good that the 13 year old got it when she was young because ''have you seen her lately?'' He repeated that line twice.
Howard asked Wood Yi how he was doing. He said it was good, for once, not to be the scummiest one. He also said that OJ Simpson wanted to make a statement about Phil Spector.
Wood Yi said that if Roman goes to jail then every man that's ever raped a young girl should be in jail. Howard asked him to talk about what he knows about Roman. Wood Yi said that he's being punished enough by having to live in a country that has no vegetables (France). That was a reference to something Robin had said recently when she went to France and wasn't able to find any vegetables.
Wood Yi said that Roman was responsible because he did finish in that girl's ass. Wood Yi was also saying that all of these actresses are sluts. He asked if it's really rape if the man cums.
Howard said this is crazy. He told Wood Yi that it was great speaking with him. He asked for his final statement. Wood Yi said ''Fame. Ain't it a bitch?'' He also asked ''If she didn't want to have sex, why was she born a girl?''
Howard told Wood Yi that it was a pleasure to have him on the phone and wrapped up with him. Wood Yi was still asking the questions he had written down. Artie asked if he's taking improv classes at the Groundlings. Wood Yi asked why they waited almost a whole day to tell the police in that Polanski case. Howard asked if he had any other comments. Wood Yi asked if he could get Scarlet Johansson.
Wood Yi asked how many ounces of chloroform he can bring on the plane with him when he flies out of the country. Artie told him it's 8 ounces. Wood Yi also said that 13 is too old for him. Robin said he's making light of a very serious situation.
Howard asked Wood Yi if he had any advice for Roman Polanski. Wood Yi said that he should stick to Asian girls because the cops never understand what they're saying when they try to turn you in.
Howard let Wood Yi go and thanked him for calling in. Artie said it was easier to understand Sal and Richard's calls to Tradio.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Brent's breakdown on the air last week and asked Howard if he had heard it yet. Howard said he wrote to Brent and Bubba and it was apparently a real thing. The caller said that they had Brent on yesterday and Brent sounded like he was still out of it and still upset.
Howard asked the guy what it was all about. The caller said that Brent was drinking on the show and getting drunk and got really angry during the show and threw a garbage can. He said that Bubba threatened to fire him and Brent got really upset. Howard said he's trying to find out what's going on from Brent himself but he's not sure about it right now.
Artie said that it sounds like it's bad if Brent's problems are still lasting this week. He said that Brent is a good guy and he feels bad for him.
Gary told Howard that Lisa G told him that Brent suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and when he drinks it gets worse. Howard and the guys talked about how Brent was in the Gulf War so that's where that came from. Howard said the guy is a really great guy too so it's sad to hear that.
Gary said that they dared Brent to drink the Jack Daniels and they knew it was going to make him crazy. Robin said that would be like putting down some heroin for Artie. Howard said ''Lets do it!''
Howard said that they may not need to go through all of it. Robin said that they may have to do that to show the jury that it's something that he might not want released. Howard said he still thinks that it's going to be very limited.
Robin said it may not be limited and they may be giving the details of the diary that the producer had. Howard said that the judge will limit things. He said they'll have to see. Howard said that judges can keep out a lot of stuff.
Robin said that they're going to be trying to prove that the guy was doing business with Dave. Howard said he thinks that the guy is definitely going to go to jail. Howard said they have the whole thing on tape and it's a lock case. Artie said he hopes so.
Lisa said that Dr. Keith thinks that there has been some break through's with Riley. Howard asked if Dr. Keith would talk to Brent on the air. She's not sure about that.
Lisa told Howard that the Brent breakdown was bad. Howard asked where the clips were because he hadn't heard them yet. Howard said he's concerned about Brent and he'd like to know that he's okay.
Lisa said that Sal got a tattoo over vacation and the tattoo is of him and his 3 sons in silhouette. Howard said that he saw it and it's actually kind of cool. He said it looks like the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind when the aliens came out in silhouette. Howard said the tattoo is kind of cool though.
Howard had Sal come in to show off the tattoo. Howard said there are some people who think it's not cool but he thinks it is. Robin said that it did look good when she saw it. She said that you can't tell who they are though so it could be Sal's wife in the picture. She's the one who took the photo so that's Sal's excuse for not having a tattoo of his wife on him.
Lisa said that Sal's cholesterol levels are very high at a 254. Howard asked what that's all about. She said that Sal eats healthy there but then he goes home and pigs out. She said that he's going to try eating healthier for a few months and get it rechecked. Howard said he's going to have to take medication for that. Robin said that they could solve that with just shutting his mouth.
Howard said he was reading in the paper about this thing they sell at fairs. It's a donut with a hamburger in the middle. Gary said that they also deep fry Oreos. Howard asked if they're not good enough without frying them?
Howard read about these ''crazy burgers'' that are burgers in a donut. Howard said that they put bacon and cheese on them as well. Howard said that he's not sure why they'd have to have a donut in that mess.
Lisa talked about how Artie went out pumpkin and apple picking with his girlfriend and they went on a hay ride. Artie laughed as they were goofing on him. Fred played the Michael Jackson song that Artie cried to as they were talking about that.
Howard asked Artie about how that came up. Artie said that they were talking about what to do and she suggested this. He said that he had done that with a girl many years ago and he didn't want to go far. Artie said that this was before he lost his license so he was still able to drive. He said that would be a great excuse though to get out of doing it.
Artie said they went out apple and pumpkin picking and he just pointed to the stuff he wanted and some other guy picked it for him. Artie said that every guy came up to him and said that he was a fuckin' fag and told him that they couldn't wait to call the show.
Howard said he had a clip that a listener sent in of him talking to Artie like they were gay. The guy had edited together some clips of them talking to each other and sounding like they were coming on to each other.
Artie said that he and his girlfriend were going to go to a movie so she suggested a couple of movies. They settled on this documentary called ''The September Issue'' and he wasn't able to follow anything. He said that he didn't know what couture meant. Artie said that there was a scene in the movie where this chick Anna Wintour looked like Mick Jagger and he wasn't able to follow what the hell was going on through the whole movie.
Artie said that the apple picking had happened the day before and he figured that it had been the gayest 24 hours in his life. Howard had to wrap up and take a break after that. Lisa quickly mentioned that it was this day in 2004 that Howard signed his contract to move to SIRIUS.
Howard had Gene Simmons from KISS on the phone. They were supposed to come in live today but something happened. Gene said that was some intro he gave him. From twat cream to ''here's Gene Simmons.''
Howard asked Gene why they didn't come in live this morning. Gene said that Paul Stanley didn't want to sit in and get hit with twat jokes all morning on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he heard that Paul is tired of Gene's sex stories.
Howard said that Gene is still living with his girlfriend Shannon Tweed and he claims that they're not even married in common law. He knew the laws very well about that. Gene said that he's not married and he has to be factual about that. Howard said that Gene has been with this woman for so long and he claims that he hasn't been with other women. Howard anted him to come on the show and take a lie detector test but he went on Adam Carolla's show and did it there instead. Gene said he passed it there.
Gene said that he likes that Howard was joking about how he was going to come on and promote something but he was selling something himself earlier when his announcer said that this was the anniversary of his signing on at SIRIUS. Howard said he doesn't promote like Gene does.
Gene said that they have their new album ''Sonic Boom'' coming out today or tomorrow and every WalMart is going to have them available. They're going to have lots of KISS stuff in every store.
Howard asked Gene about going on Letterman tonight. Gene said that they're going to blow that place up tonight. Gene told Howard that he should get out of there and come down and see them at the Garden in 2 days. He said that he should come out and see how the big guys do things.
Howard said that Gene does private meet and greets at every show for $500. Gene said that's not true, it's $1,000.
Sal came in and said that he wants to meet them but it's going to cost him $1,500 if he brings his kids. Gene said that they make the tickets very available and if you want extra stuff you have to pay for it. Howard asked Gene how many people pay that price before the show. Gene said that they can't do more than 100. He said that they could meet 1000 fans if they wanted to. Robin said she thought there was a recession going on.
Howard asked Gene how much he brings in a year. Gene said he'd tell him if he told him. Howard said he makes $7 million a year. Gene said that he can bring in $100 million a year in concerts but then there's the merchandise and stuff and they can make more. Gene said that they are very hard working though.
Howard asked Gene about how he has managed and discovered bands over the years. He also claims that Adam Lambert has killed his career by coming out of the closet too early. Gene said that you have to take it off layer by layer and not just come right out and do it. Gene said it has nothing to do with being gay either. He said that you have to take the people through the process slowly and come out later in your career.
Gene said that Adam Lambert could have been in the band Queen and he would have been great as the lead singer there. He said that he turned it down though and that's just a ''Duh'' in his opinion. Gene said that he told the kid that he's very talented and he should really just be quiet. He said the next thing he knew he was coming out of the closet and doing Britney Spears poses.
Robin asked Gene how they split their money. Gene said that he and Paul are the founders of the band. He said that Ace is out of the band but there are guys who have been in the band for a long time. He said that Ace and Peter get nothing now. Gene said that they wish them all the best but they get nothing. Gene said that they bought them out like 30 years ago.
Howard asked what the feud is with Sharon Osbourne. Gene said that he's known Sharon and Ozzy for about 35 years and he had done and interview about their family and their TV show. He didn't want to comment on their family. Gene said that he'd get upset if someone commented on his family. Gene said that this reporter said that the reporter said something about them not getting high on the Gene Simmons Family Jewels show and Sharon took that as a slight and got upset with him.
Howard asked Gene what he thinks about Dave Letterman's secret little room and what happened there. Gene said he's not surprised by that at all. Gene said that women are attracted to powerful men in powerful positions so that's why Dave had all of that happening. He said that Dave might even put on masks and stuff in that secret room of his.
Howard asked Gene what Letterman should do now. gene said he should sue the pants off this guy who tried to blackmail him. Howard asked Gene if he's ever been blackmailed. Gene said that it happens all the time.
Gene said that he has women telling him that they have kids with him and he has a legal team that works for him full time keeping track of all of that. He said that he's even had guys telling him that their kids are his kids.
Gene asked Howard about his sex tapes. Howard said he has no sex tape. Gene said he has been to Scores though and the girls have probably taped him there.
Howard gave Gene some plugs for his new album ''Sonic Boom'' and said that it's available at Sam's Club and WalMart's around the country. Gene said that it's more than one disc and you get a lot for the 12 bucks you plunk down for the album. Howard let him go a short time later and played a little bit of one of their songs called ''Modern Day Delilah.''
Howard said that Gene was trying to draw some comparison to what he does to the amount of money he makes there at SIRIUS. Howard said that the stuff they sell back stage isn't something he'd do himself. Robin said it hasn't hurt them at all though. Howard said he never thought it was a good idea to sell stuff to his fans like they do. He said he has sold a DVD or tape or a CD to his fans but not a ton of t-shirts and other stuff.
Artie said that Gene is straight up about that stuff and he's not a hypocrite. Howard said that's for sure. He's straight up about all of that and they love to sell stuff to the fans. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was listening to Brent having his break down on the air. Howard said it was pretty bad. He said he sounds like he's in bad shape for real. Artie said it sounded bad to him too.
Howard mentioned that Reggie Jackson was going to be coming in soon. Howard said that the guy looks good for his age even though he doesn't know what that age is. Artie thought he was about 62.
Howard said that Bubba had this drinking show and Brent got drunk and ended up throwing a garbage can with liquid in it. Howard played some of the audio from that segment where Bubba was asking the guys not to let Brent touch this one guy Miller that was in the studio. Brent was going off on the guy immediately and calling him names.
In the clip Brent went nuts and threw a garbage can at the guy. That can had liquid in it and it got all over the equipment there. Bubba kicked Brent out of the studio. He told him he's a dumbass and cursed him out for a minute.
Howard said Ralph was visiting and he said it was definitely a real thing. He said that Brent was in the green room in the fetal position crying. Howard played some more audio of that where they were listening to Brent crying. Bubba wanted to send Ralph in there to goof on him.
Bubba was goofing on Brent as he listened to him crying. Ralph was supposed to go in there to goof on him but he didn't say a word to him. Howard said he's never heard a guy cry like that. Howard said he's never cried like that even when people have died.
Howard played more of the audio where Brent was crying and sobbing. Howard asked what the fuck was going on there? Bubba wanted to send different guys in there to goof on him. He was surprised that Ralph backed out. Bubba told that Miller guy to go in there and goof on him. Howard said it didn't sound like they were too concerned with what was happening. Howard said that show is hard core.
Howard said this stuff goes on and on and there's a lot of time on the clips. Howard played another one where Bubba went into the green room to talk to Brent himself. Bubba went in there and told Brent to stop it. He told him that he didn't have to get upset because he wasn't going to fire him. He told Brent to stop crying a bunch of times. He told him he's got to listen to him and get some help.
Howard said that didn't sound like fun with Bubba going off on Brent. Howard played more of the clip and Bubba was lecturing Brent about what he had just done. Brent kept apologizing and crying.
Howard said those fuckers are crazy. He said they do some crazy shit in that studio. Howard played more of Bubba going off on Brent and telling him he needs to get help. Bubba wanted to get him to go to therapy and said that Howard has been to therapy and Bubba has been to therapy too. Bubba said he wouldn't make Brent drink anymore either.
Howard said he thinks that he could get Artie to drink again if he asked him. Artie said he would have to bow out if he asked him to do that. He said that he's had troubles himself but he's never been in that position of crying like that. Artie said that he may have some serious psychological problems.
Howard played more of the audio and the guys in the studio were talking over Bubba saying that he sounds like Dr. Phil in there. Bubba was also calling it an ''Interdiction'' instead of an intervention. Bubba told Brent that this was life and the booze brought out the real Brent. Bubba said that Brent is the smartest guy he knows on subjects that he likes.
Howard played more of Bubba yelling at Brent and the other guys in the studio were goofing on Bubba's way of talking to Brent. Ralph was sitting in and goofing on him. Ralph called him ''Dr. Bubba'' and cracked up as Bubba was yelling at Brent.
Howard said he hopes that Brent is alright. He felt bad for him but he said that he might have the world record for crying so long. He played more of the clip and Brent was still crying and talking to Bubba about what happens when he drinks. Bubba said he loves Brent and he wants to help him. He said they're strong as a team but there's this mountain of shit that builds up and the alcohol brought it out in him. Bubba told Brent he loves him and he told him to hug it out with him. He told Brent to get his shit together and not worry about losing his job.
Howard said there was some good stuff going on there. He said that's the kind of stuff they're doing on Bubba's show in the afternoons. Howard said that's some hillbilly shit right there.
Howard had the guys bring in Reggie and said that he looks good. Reggie said he's 63. Howard said he looks good for whatever age he is. Robin didn't stop and say hello to him earlier. Robin said she hadn't been out of her studio so how could she have said hello?
Howard asked Reggie to talk about broads. Reggie said he has a girlfriend who he has known forever. He said she's got two great kids too.
Howard asked if he had the same kind of chicks that Derek Jeter is getting these days. Reggie said he was doing okay for himself back then. Reggie said he got married at 22 and he wasn't faithful. She didn't like baseball so that didn't work out. He said that she was the only girl that he dated that he didn't have a friendship with. He said he usually does have a good relationship with the women he dates.
Howard asked what the youngest woman was that he dated. Reggie joked that he dated a 9 year old. Reggie said that he dated a 26 year old a few years ago but he was insecure about the age difference. He said that he's attracted to women that age but he can't handle what other people are thinking. Howard and Robin told him to just stay home then. Reggie said he's comfortable with women in their 30s.
Howard asked Reggie about playing ball and the huge contract he had. Reggie said that he got paid $3 million back then and it was big money at that time. He said that today the average is close to $3 million. He said that if he was playing now he would have been making $20 million.
Howard said it seemed like after Reggie got his deal the money really started to go up. Reggie said it started before he made that deal but it did really take off after that. Reggie said that there were people who came in and made big money after he was gone. Reggie said that he made more money than guys who were bigger than him. He said he wishes that he was playing today and wises he was one of them.
Howard asked Reggie when he last swung a bag. Reggie said he just did that in spring training but things move slower now. He said that he couldn't get a hit off of a major league hitter now. He said that he's just not quick enough anymore.
Howard asked Reggie if he uses Viagra. Reggie said that he was in an accident a few years back and he lost sensation down below so he had to start using it back then. He said after about a year he had a pleasant surprise in the morning. He said it took him about 3 years to get the nerves back down there. He said he had to take the pills to get that working before that. He said that he was on Viagra.
Robin asked Reggie if he could walk okay. Reggie said he could but he had problems peeing and things like that. Reggie said he doesn't need Viagra now.
Reggie asked Howard if he's younger than he is. Robin wondered why he couldn't tell. Howard said that he's 55 so he's got 8 more years of being able to have sex at least.
Howard asked Reggie if he ever had a three way. Reggie confirmed that. Artie asked him ''You, Bucky Dent and who?'' Reggie asked Artie if he gets paid to do that.
Reggie asked Howard how many people listen to him. Howard said that they figure that they might have about 12 million people listening based on the 6 million subscriptions they brought in. Reggie said that the next time he has to make a deal for something he's going to talk to Howard. He said that he wants him to help him out. Howard said he has done that with people before and he thinks that he's been helpful to some guys.
Reggie asked Howard if he would come on his show ''Mr. October Nights'' with him. Howard said he might. He said he knows nothing about baseball but he might come on the show.
Howard said he never really cared about the game that much but he dos like the Yankees. He said that he didn't have an allegiance to a team or anything. Reggie invited him to come to a game and hang out with him. Howard said he would do that. Artie said that Howard looks like him when he shows up to a baseball game. Howard said Artie would cum if he got to sit next to Reggie at a game. Artie said he would wait until he got home to cum.
Howard asked Reggie about A-Rod's girlfriend Kate Hudson and if he finds her attractive. Reggie said he doesn't look at his friend's girls like that.
Howard asked Reggie about being upset about the use of steroids. Reggie said that he is upset about that and the way that they're penalizing them. Reggie said that they have to be sure that they're accusing the right people too. He said that they accuse people who were never even tested. Reggie said that they have accused people like Barry Bonds of being guilty and they haven't proven it yet.
Reggie said that they have a note about the records that guys are setting today that they may have been affected by steroid use. They are going to keep an eye on that over the years and adjust it accordingly though. He said he's glad that they're doing that though.
Howard asked Reggie if he played baseball growing up day and night. Reggie said he played sports all the time and it was any sport, not just baseball. Reggie's father was in baseball and played in the Negro leagues for $2 a week. Howard asked if he got his father's approval by being great in the game. Reggie said that he had to come home and work in the shops and stuff if he didn't do well.
Howard asked Reggie if it breaks his heart that his father had to play in the Negro leagues and didn't get to play pro. Reggie said that he saw a lot of stuff growing up and there were times that he wasn't able to stay in a hotel or eat in a restaurant with his own team. Reggie said this was happening when he was around 20 and it was rough. He said the manager would pull the whole team out and they'd eat in the bus or move to a new hotel.
Reggie told Howard about the awful things that happened back in the 60s and how there were white people helping things along when they were trying to get their freedom. Reggie said he has respect for all of those people and he gravitates to minorities himself.
Howard asked Reggie about baseball becoming his ticket to a whole new world and asked where that drive came from. Reggie said that people wonder what makes you go. He said that the common thread of great players there is something that happened in their childhood. He said that he had his dad as a strong person in his household. He said he had to go out and win for his dad and he had to do what he had to do to be successful.
Reggie told Howard that he had a great story about his dad. He said that George Steinbrenner used to call him to talk to him about Reggie. He said that he would tell his dad to come down to talk to him about the way he was talking to his manager. Reggie said that his dad would call him and tell him that he can't come out there to talk to him in person so he wanted to talk to him on the weekend. Reggie said his dad would straighten him out on the weekend and call Steinbrenner to tell him that they had worked things out. Reggie said he was 29 years old at the time.
Reggie had problems with Billy Martin when he was his manager. Reggie said that he could never touch the guy but they did have their blow outs. He said that if he had hit him he would have gotten kicked out of the game. He said that he didn't like Billy but he didn't hate him because hating a guy takes too much effort.
Howard asked if Billy Martin was a racist. Reggie said he did hear a lot of jokes in the locker room about all races.
Reggie said that he heard a story about a couple of the guys going to Billy and asking him to let him bat clean up. He said that Billy eventually gave in.
Robin said that Reggie is very humble now but he had the reputation of being very arrogant. Reggie said that he did have that reputation back then. He said that he had the ability to shut people out back then. He stayed in his own world even though he didn't like it.
Howard said that Reggie would be banging Kate Hudson and her mother if he was playing ball today. Reggie said he wouldn't go there. He said he knows Kurt and Goldie and he would never talk about their daughter that way. He said that he admires A-Rod too so he's not going to go there.
Howard asked Reggie if he got to bang celebrities when he was playing ball. Reggie wasn't talking about that either and said that he thinks that Kate is good for A-Rod.
Howard asked Reggie if he got famous chicks. Reggie said he never did. Reggie said that he would look at magazines and pick someone off the cover and set up a lunch or something like that. He said he used to go to Studio 54 to hang out too.
Howard asked who the most famous person was that he banged. He said that he dated Sheila Johnson and she was a model and very beautiful. Howard said he's going to look her up on the internet. Reggie said that he had it made back then. He could leave his car with the keys in it parked on the street and the cops would watch it for him. He said that he could cruise around Central Park in his convertible with the cops escorting him. He said that would be his date with the women he was out with.
Howard gave Reggie some plugs for his radio show that's on the Mad Dog channel 123 on Sirius and 144 on XM. Reggie is doing shows every Tuesday while the baseball season is going. He's on from 7-9pm.
Howard got a picture of Sheila Johnson and showed it to Reggie. Reggie said that she still looks good. Artie laughed for some reason like she wasn't that good looking.
Gary said that Reggie is also promoting the book ''Sixty Feet, Six Inches: A Hall of Fame Pitcher & a Hall of Fame Hitter Talk about How the Game is Played'' that's out now.
Reggie said he was honored when this guy Bob Gibson came to him and asked him to do this book. Reggie said that Bob asked him to write the book with him and he was honored to do that for his friend Bob. Reggie asked Howard if he admires anyone enough that he would go into business with someone like that. Howard said he would love to be in business with the Three Stooges if they were still around. He said he loves Soupy Sales, Steve Martin, anyone from MAD Magazine and people like that.
Howard said that he would work with Jim Carrey too. Reggie said that's what it was like for him to work with Bob Gibson.
Gary said that Reggie is a legendary ball buster and he asked him about the World Series rings that he had. Reggie claims that he sold all of his rings but that was a lie. He still has them all. Reggie threw his ring to Howard and it was his hall of fame ring. Reggie said he has 9 championship rings and the hall of fame ring is the one that's the most rare. He said that only 60 or so guys have that ring.
Howard asked Reggie if he would put Pete Rose in the hall of fame. Reggie said that he wouldn't do that himself but if he was the head of that whole thing he'd have to look into it.
Artie got to check out Reggie's ring, as Howard held it, and Reggie was wondering why he wasn't defending him this morning. Artie said he wasn't allowed to interrupt.
Reggie asked Artie if he knows what his highest number of home runs was in one year. Artie thought about it for a while and came up with 47. Reggie asked him if he ever led the league in home runs. Artie said he never did but he was wrong with his facts.
Reggie went through a bunch of stuff with Artie and Howard told Artie he was making him look bad today. He said that he told Reggie he was a huge fan and he was screwing up. Reggie continued to ask him about his career and Artie was guessing at a lot of that stuff.
Reggie told Howard about playing in Anaheim stadium and Mickey Mantle was going to present him with an award for beating his home run record. He said that Mickey got on mic and said he wanted to give him the award and thanked him for striking out more than he did. He never said what he was giving him the award for so it sounded like he was getting it for striking out more than him.
Reggie told Howard some more Billy Martin stories and how he had tried to create confrontations with the guy. He said that he was asked not to cause a scene at times and told to pretend to get along with the guy.
Howard told Reggie that one of the reasons he never wanted to play sports was because he never wanted to show his penis in front of other guys. Reggie asked Robin what's wrong with this guy. Howard said he's serious about this. Howard asked Reggie if he's very large or small like him. Reggie said he likes showering in front of other men. He said it's unbelievable. He was just joking around.
Howard asked Reggie if he's over 6 inches. Reggie said that he was working him very nicely but he just can't help himself. Howard said it really is an issue for him. He said he doesn't like to be seen down there unless he's semi-aroused.
Howard asked Reggie if he ever had a gay experience. Reggie just anted to move along. He didn't want to stay on that subject. Howard asked Reggie if A-Rod has small nuts form the steroids. Reggie said that he has a great body and his nuts aren't small.
Artie asked if he could see Reggie's ring. Reggie said that he couldn't see it because he wasn't as big of a fan as he thought. Artie said that he was a huge Thurman Munson fan. Reggie said that he was a great player.
The guys talked about Billy Martin and how Reggie really didn't get along with him. He didn't wish ill on him but when he died he wasn't surprised. He said that he was a drinker and that's what killed him.
Reggie said that he likes to hear Artie's view on what happened that time when he was replaced by Paul Blair that one time. Artie had told the story real quick and how shocked Reggie looked that day when he was replaced. That led to Artie being able to hold the ring even though Howard didn't want to give it up.
Reggie said he heard that the night before Billy wanted to embarrass him the next day so that may have been his plan.
Reggie also talked about Thurman Munson's death and how he had been invited out to go flying with him that day. Luckily he had a meeting that he had to attend instead.
Howard gave Reggie some more plugs and thanked him for spending the hour with him. Reggie asked him if he has family. Howard told him he has a wife and 3 daughters. He doesn't have any grandchildren though. Reggie didn't know that Howard lived there in Manhattan either. Howard said Reggie was looking at him like he was an alien or something.
Howard brought up the small penis thing again and Reggie said that if he was a good enough player, he could have had his own shower. Howard said he's serious about this and he has a small penis and he could never show it to guys. Reggie said that they never made fun of the guys with little dicks, they made fun of the guys with the big ones.
Howard asked Reggie if he remembers the guys with the smallest dicks. Reggie said he doesn't remember that. Howard told Reggie he was terrific.
Artie told Reggie a story about going to game 6 of the 1977 World Series. He said that Reggie had hit 2 home runs that day already and then he hits this third home run and it was monstrous. He said he walked out of there 10 years old and he was a fan of his from then on. He said he appreciates that. Reggie thanked him for that.
Howard said Artie was about to cry. Artie said he was ready to get in the fetal position. Reggie said that he has a picture of himself hugging his father after that game. His mom couldn't make it that day so he hit those home runs for her.
Robin asked Reggie what he thinks about A-Rod this season. Reggie said he thinks that he's doing good this season and he will come through for them in the playoffs.
Artie said he must love that they call him ''Mr. May'' because he never comes through in October. Reggie said he thinks that he will come through for them this season. Howard gave Reggie some more plugs and wrapped up after that.
Howard came back and said that they play that song on Coffee House a lot. Howard said that he has more of an appreciation for Pete Townshend when he hears him performing that song acoustically.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Reggie Jackson interview was great. Howard said that Reggie is a good guy and he's actually going to go to a game with him. He may even go to the locker room and check out the guys cocks.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Fight Week was great and he'd love Howard to go back to having Gary repeat after him. Howard said he should do that again sometime.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said that they have updates on the David Letterman case. Steve said that they may end up with a plea bargain. Steve said that Dave may have sealed his deal with the ratings win with this whole thing.
Steve said they have an update on Jay Leno's show too. There are some local affiliates who are upset about the show because they're down in the ratings and ad revenue. Jon Hein said that they're losing a lot of viewership on those stations. Jay is still getting about 5 million a night so it's lower than a lot of shows that have been canceled. He said that it's still considered a hit though.
Steve said that Big Foot is going to be making an appearance in New York City soon. He said tat Lisa G has new cookies coming out and they are in the shape of bras.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would ever put his acoustic songs on Coffee House. Howard said that he might give them some. He had Fred play their ''Backside's Back (Every Homo)'' song that they did acoustically one day. Howard said he might give that one to Coffee House.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down his list of things that they'd be covering today. Howard said he had a full plate there with all of that stuff.
Howard asked Fred what other songs he had for Coffee House. Fred said he was looking for some stuff. They found the Avant Garde song that they created. Artie said that's downright unlistenable. Howard didn't play that one.
Robin read a story about Norway being the best place to live in this world. The United States came in at number 13. Niger was the last one on the list.
Robin read a story about a woman who let her daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of her van. Howard said even he knows not to do that. That led to the guys talking about Artie being thrown out on to the field at a Yankees game by his dad and then talking about MacKenzie Phillips. Gary said that MacKenzie may be coming in next week.
Robin had a story about Tila Tequila who has posted suicidal messages on her Twitter account. Robin said that she claims that she was caught before she could off herself. Howard said if you're going to kill yourself, you just do it and don't Twitter about it. That led to Howard goofing on Mike Gange's Facebook posts and how they limit your characters on those sites.
Robin read a story about Lady Gaga being on SNL over the weekend. Robin said that she's doing the mask thing and Howard is thinking about doing that himself. Howard said he should go on Letterman with a mask on. He did an impression of what he would sound like doing that.
Howard played a clip from SNL where one woman let out the F-word. She was supposed to be saying ''frickin'' but she let a ''fuckin'' slip out. Robin said this weekend Lady Gaga let out a ''shit'' this weekend when she was singing. Howard said that SNL is okay because they're in the ''safe harbor'' time of day.
Howard played a clip of a reporter who said ''spending cunt'' instead of ''spending cuts'' during a news report. She screwed up a bunch of times in that clip.
Robin got back to her news and read about Michael Jackson being in better health than it was reported. He wasn't all emaciated like they claimed he was.
Robin read that Roman Polanski has asked to be released from prison but they have denied the request. They're trying to extradite him to the United States.
Howard wondered why France won't send criminals back to this country. Robin said she understands why they won't send people who might get the death penalty back but she's not sure why they won't send others back.
Robin read a story about foods that can cause health problems. She said that there are things like green leafy vegetables and strawberries that can cause problems when they have salmonella. Howard said that Sal should change his name to Sal Manella. That would be a great comedy name according to Artie.
Robin had some audio of President Obama talking about health care reform. She also had a story about how some Mediterranean foods can affect the way you feel and act. She read a study that was done about that and they found that eating the right food can make you happier. She had some audio of a woman talking about the right foods to eat to make that work.
Robin had a story about Oprah Winfrey talking to Arnel Pineda. Howard thought he was the one who created the Pina Colada. Robin said that he's the guy who sings for Journey now. Robin had Howard play some Journey and she wasn't sure if it was the original or the Arnel Pineda stuff. Howard said that guy Steve Perry was a douche bag so he might actually go see them now. Robin had some audio of Arnel talking to Oprah about getting out of poverty and going out on tour with the band. He was discovered on YouTube by the band.
Robin read about Brett Favre playing last night against his old team. He helped the team win over the Packers. Robin had some audio of him talking about the game.
Robin asked Howard if he's watching Dancing with the Stars. Howard said he did see some of it but he missed Kelly Osbourne. He said they save her for the end because she's so good. Howard said that he's enjoying Donny Osmond on the show too. Howard said he is a showman so of course he can dance. Howard said Beth went to a Donny and Marie concert out in Vegas and loved it. She couldn't even believe that. Howard said she saw a Cher concert too and enjoyed that as well.
Artie asked if Beth would tell him if something sucked. Howard said of course she would. Howard said Beth can be vicious.
Robin brought up the show Glee and said she couldn't make it through more than 5 minutes but it gets great reviews. Gary said it's almost like High School Musical for adults. Howard said he's not going to watch that. Robin said they're doing a whole night of Bon Jovi music this week. Howard said that sounds good. Robin said they're also doing a big documentary about Bon Jovi on Showtime soon too. Jon Bon Jovi will be talking about how tough it is to be a rock star in that special. Howard said that it seems like a pretty glamorous thing to him.
Artie told Howard to check out the documentary about the band Anvil. He said they just won't let it go and it's like they're the real Spinal Tap.
Robin mentioned that Jim Florentine's show ''That Metal Show'' got great reviews this week. Howard wondered why she was promoting that. Howard said that he figured she was done with Jim. Robin said that she and Jim are still friends. Fred did his impression of Jim for a short time while they talked about that.
Robin read about Mariah Carey and what she's up to lately. Howard said that Mariah is looking very ''big'' these days. They spent a short time talking about her and then talked about how much Oprah is worth. Howard said she's worth over a billion dollars now. Howard said that he hung out with another guy recently who is worth over $4 billion.
Robin read about a Bob Dylan Christmas album that's coming out. She had some clips from that to play. Howard said that dude is weird because he's Jewish but then he becomes Christian and then Atheist. He said that guy is just weird. After hearing some of that Artie said that life has become a Saturday Night Live skit. They were shocked at how horrible that was. Howard said that was a bunch of shit. Howard asked what's wrong with that guy. Howard said he sounds like Buddy Ebsen. That led to them playing George Takei's Christmas songs that they had him record.
Howard said that he sings better than Bob Dylan. That led to Fred playing the Buddy Ebsen clips where he sounds like he's drowning in phlegm. Howard had to stop that before he threw up.
Robin said that one of the Jonas Brothers has come down with the swine flu so they had to cancel a performance on the Early Show this morning. Robin said that the show ''Bones'' has been shut down because of swine flu.
Robin said that Beyonce is speaking out about the Kanye West outburst at the MTV VMAs. Robin said that Beyonce said she didn't know that he was going to interrupted Taylor Swift but she knew how Kanye felt about her video. Robin said that Kanye and Lady Gaga canceled their tour.
Robin said that Method Man was arrested on tax evasion charges. She had Howard play some of his music before giving him the details about that story. Robin said he turned himself in on Monday. Robin said that he's going to be arraigned today. He could spend up to 4 years in jail for that. They wrapped up the news and ended the show a short time later, right around 10:40am.
Jon said that a lot of people found Reggie to be conceited and you either loved him or hated him. Jon said the stuff he talked about today about working with Billy Martin makes you realize what he had to put up with. Gary said he still thinks that Reggie was that conceited guy but he has matured over the years.
Gary and Jon talked about Billy Martin and how he seemed to hate Reggie and he didn't even want him on the team. Gary said that Reggie was a free agent and he hadn't even set foot in the club house yet and he was already saying that he was going to run the team. That got the team and the fans pissed at him right away.
Gary talked about how Reggie got the fans to like him but then he got them pissed at him one year because he just spoke his mind all the time.
Gary said he knew that Reggie had that ring on this morning and asked him how he decides which one to wear. He said that Reggie goofed on him and told him that he had sold all of his rings when he got into financial trouble. They weren't able to find any information on the web about that so he asked his manager and found out that Reggie was just busting his balls about it. He still has all 9 of his World Series rings.
Jon said that he was looking forward to hearing Reggie's take on salaries and steroids today. He said that he liked what he heard about the salaries. Jon said that Reggie did have an issue with the steroid use. Jon and Gary talked about that for a few minutes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he grew up in Texas and hated Reggie Jackson. He said that Howard makes him seem real though so he did like the interview. He said he had to commend Howard on that interview. He thought he did a good one today. Gary said that Howard has no hero worship of any kind when it comes to sports so that can help make these interviews great.
Another caller said it was touching to hear Artie telling Reggie about how touching it was to see him. Benjy said that Reggie seems to have a disdain for people who really love him. He said that he's almost harder on Artie than he was on Howard during that interview. He said that maybe that's why he comes across as disliking his fans so much.
Gary said that there were a couple of things that happened off the air that people don't see. Gary said that Reggie handed him the ring and let him check it out in the green room. It was like he knew that he'd appreciate it without him asking. Gary said that they were taking tons of pictures and they invited Robin and him into the picture. He said that they got single pictures too and it's like Reggie knows that the fans want that kind of thing.
Artie came in so Jon asked him about the questions he was asked during that interview. Artie said that he had forgotten some of that stuff but he came close on some of the questions. Artie talked about one of the questions he missed and couldn't believe he had missed it.
Artie talked about how he was fine with what Reggie was talking about today. He said that he only thing he would have gotten upset with was if Reggie had said anything bad about Thurman Munson. Artie said that Reggie had said some stuff about Munson in the past when he was on the team. He didn't do that today though. Artie said that Munson was the one who is credited with giving Reggie that name ''Mr. October.''
Artie said he got to meet Diana Munson one time. He said that she told him that Munson loved the kids who were fans. Artie said that she told him that he loved all of the little guys and that meant a lot to him. Artie said she had a gift for him and gave him a box of an old Yoo Hoo shirt that was torn. She told him that it was his lucky shirt that he wore during every World Series game. Artie said he wasn't sure he could take it but it hit him that he was wearing it the night that he saw him play at the World Series. Artie said he has the shirt at his shore house now and it's hanging on a hanger in his office there.
Artie said that was a really cool thing to get. He said that's one of those benefits he gets from being on the Stern Show. He said it was cool meeting Reggie today too. He said that it was obvious that Reggie wanted to take pictures with Howard today too. He said that they're both linked to the memories of his father so that was pretty cool to see too.
Gary said that he went to a sports thing at the Jacob Javits Center one time and he bought a book that the Munson family was selling and he showed it to Artie. Artie said he wanted to go down there and buy all of his rings and just give it back to the family.
Artie said that he wishes he could have given back to the family but he never did go down there. He gave them a plug for their restaurant ''Munson's'' out in Ohio.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Artie should come out to North Carolina to do some shows. Artie said he'd look into it.
The caller said that he didn't hear much from Artie during the Reggie interview and figured he was under the table jerking off to him or something. Now he knows that Reggie wasn't one of his favorite so he gets that now.
Gary said that his favorite guy was Tom Seaver when he was growing up. Artie said that Kumal from the Jerky Boys saw him out on the street one day and tried to give him a hug and Tom ran away. Artie said that Kumal is a huge Mets fan like Gary is.
Artie talked about the kind of money Reggie was making when he first started with the Yankees and how Howard Cosell had said it was getting out of hand when it was up around $300,000.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the interview was great today. He asked Gary if he ever plans on getting Brett Favre on the show as an interview. Gary said he'd love to have him on. Gary said that this writer spent some time with Howard and a few months later he got a call from the writer who told him hat Favre was a huge fan of theirs. Gary got Favre's number and he spoke to him for about 5 minutes one day. Favre is a fan of the show but he may not want to come on and talk about stuff.
Artie said that he didn't think Favre was that good of an interview on the Joe Buck show. He said that Favre might be better with Howard though. Gary said he thinks that they'd have to have him on if he did want to come on the show.
The guys spent a few more minutes talking sports that had nothing to do with the Reggie Jackson interview. Gary said that they had to get back to the Howard Stern show eventually.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thought that they overlooked something Artie said about going to the game with his father and how Robin laughed in the middle of it. He said that when he heard that Reggie was on he was looking forward to hearing Artie go over that story again. The caller thought that Robin kind of pushed that aside.
Artie said that he couldn't give Robin shit about that. He said it's very hard to say anything sentimental on that show. He said that you're going to get giggles if you talk about anything like that. That led to them talking about the Jackie apology and how Jackie crowbared that in at about 6:02 that morning. Gary said that Jackie was afraid that he was going to get kicked out of his house if he didn't make that apology.
Jon asked Artie about the pumpkin and apple picking he did with his girlfriend. Artie said that he's very secure in his sexuality so he has no problem with that. Gary said that Artie is in love so that's why he was doing it. He said that if it was one of them he'd be right up their ass about going out and doing that.
Artie said that his girlfriend, Adrienne, doesn't know the show that well so she's amazed at how many people know who he is. Artie said he wanted to kind of hide from people and she asked if he thought he was Elvis or something. Artie said that the guys were all coming up to him and asking him what the fuck he was doing there. Artie said by the end of the day she was apologizing to him for what she said.
Artie said that Adrienne wanted him to buy an apple recipe book but he didn't want to do that. She wanted him to buy one for them and one for his sister. He wanted to just buy 10 copies and give them to all of the women in his life.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Artie if he was jealous of Reggie asking Howard to go to the Yankee game. Artie said of course he is. He said he would love to be there with Reggie. Artie said that Howard might just make it to that game with Reggie and that would be kind of cool.
The caller also had some information on Bubba and Brent. The guy said that they were going to have Brent goofing on that guy Miller. Brent knew that he was going to be screwed up after drinking and he warned everyone ahead of time. He said that Miller was getting in one liners and it was festering with Brent. Then Brent snapped after he got annihilated.
Kevin Kraft came in and told the guys about some of the details of that Brent thing. He told them about how Brent had an Aderol in him as well as the Jack Daniels. Gary said he knew someone who took ridilin to get high and it's a similar drug.
Benjy asked if it's true that you get different emotional reactions to different alcohols. Artie said he's heard that before. He said that he has hallucinated from eating the worm in a tequila bottle but that might also be from drinking the whole bottle of tequila.
Another caller asked Artie what he thinks about A-Rod not being able to hit in October. Artie said that he is a huge fan of the team and he has a lot to say about A-Rod. He said that he hasn't been his best in the past and he hopes that he can keep up this season. Artie said he's not sure what's going to happen but he hopes that it's all good for the fans.
After playing that Artie said that he doesn't say much during some interviews and he sometimes just throws references out there for Jon and Gary. He said he hopes that some other people get the joke too. Artie said it sounded like Reggie said ''no comment'' when he threw out the Nick Swisher name during the small penis discussion.
Jon asked JD about being a baseball fan. Artie told JD to name some members on the Reds but JD didn't know much so Artie told him to just shut up.
Jon asked JD what he thought of Reggie today. JD didn't hear much of it but what he did hear was him coughing and clearing his throat. Jon said he heard that a couple of times but not that much.
Jon said he knew it was going to be goo when Howard asked about Viagra and Reggie said he used it. Jon asked Artie if he ever got to see the ring. Artie said he never did get to hold it.
JD said he was busy pulling clips of Riley Martin on the Meet the Shrink thing during that interview so he didn't get to hear much of it.
Jon took a call from a guy who complained about the way Reggie does his autograph signings and how expensive they are and how he still comes across as a douche when you get the autographs signed.
Artie told the caller that he kind of got that reaction from him when he was talking to him about his father. It was like Reggie had heard that story about many kids being at the games with their fathers.
Wheels asked Artie if he would try to weasel his way into going to the game with Howard if he goes with Reggie. Artie said he's not above that. He said he'd love to be there.
Wheels and Artie bet on a game and Artie said that he's also not above taking money from a crippled fan. Wheels told him to take it easy with that. They went back and forth making jokes about each other before Jon let Wheels go.
Jon talked about Reggie Jackson and the photo session that went on during the break after that. He said that they had to take a break after that. Artie said he had to roll too and he said he had to leave Jon and JD alone to do their Wrap Up Show because those are his favorites.
Jon asked JD what he thinks about the guy who plays Wood Yi. JD said he might be the most nervous person he's ever met. JD said he's one of the quietest people too.
Gary came back in around that time. Jon said that it was funny when he read the same line twice. Benjy said that it was actually two different lines. Jon said it was hard to tell with him.
Gary said that Wood Yi is great and he always delivers those lines great. Gary said he used to get so nervous that they had to hold the microphone for him and KC would laugh his ass off when he'd hold the mic for him.
Benjy said he heard that Wood Yi had to sneak out to do the lines because he's supposed to be observing a Jewish holiday.
The guys talked about the merchandise that they sell and how Gene has control over all of that stuff. He didn't know that Gene had bought out the other guys 30 years ago. Gary said he's not sure it's been that long but Gene is a good businessman.
Gary said that Gene and Howard are like complete opposites when it comes to merchandise. Howard has said all along that he doesn't want to just put out crappy t-shirts and stuff and Gene is willing to put out anything and everything.
Jon played a quick clip of Gene and Howard talking about how much they charge fans to do the meet and greet before the shows. They charge fans $1,000 to come back and meet them before the shows.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if anyone caught that Gene claims that he doesn't drink or smoke. The caller said that it's hard to believe that he's never done that. Gary said he thinks Ted Nugent is in that same category.
Gary said that KISS is almost like Yucko now because they have to put on that make up for the fans because that's what the fans want. He said it's kind of sad now.
Gary said he found it funny that the KISS album is only available at WalMart and Sam's Club now. He said that's kind of funny but other bands are doing the same thing now. He mentioned that the Eagles did that as well.
Gary said that he remembers this guy in school when he was growing up who was a KISS fan who he thought was the coolest.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's not happy with their views on Roman Polanski. He said that he's a great filmmaker and he doesn't think that the girl is upset about what happened to her now. Gary said that the guy committed a crime and he doesn't have the right to go out and do that just because he's a great film maker.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary is the only one who can put Yucko the Clown and KISS in the same sentence.
Jon asked JD if he's been to a KISS concert. JD said he's barely been to any. He said that he went to a Metallica concert one time. He said he went to that and to some Christian type concerts. He said he knew he was being dragged to that but he just did it because it was something to do. Benjy asked if they were chanting Jesus there. JD said that wasn't happening. They had to end the show a short time after that.
Howard started the show talking to Jon Hein about Letterman's ratings on Monday night. Jon said that he beat all of NBC's lineup with his ratings. It's the best ratings he's gotten since he had Obama on. The scandal is working for him in the ratings. Robin said that maybe his wife will understand him more now. She said he's doing it for work.
Howard said that some guys are able to have a relationship with their wife and they're able to have little affairs with women here and there. Robin said that some guys have two whole families. Howard said you never know what people have on. He said that he can't say that it never goes on but he kind of gets it. Howard said he would never do that himself but he gets it. He's not the president or anything like that.
Howard said this kind of makes Letterman human like Steve Martin said. Howard said that he's almost more charming now. Howard said this goes on all over the place and it's not just Letterman doing it. Robin said that it's probably getting women to tune in now.
Howard said he went out to dinner later on and this woman came up to him and said it was nice to see him. Then this haggy old woman walked by him and told him he was a pig. Howard said that he doesn't know what got into him and he looked at her and said ''Fuck you!'' and gave her the bird.
Robin said she thought she had heard this story before. Howard said it just happened last night. Robin said she's heard the story before. Howard said he's not sure what to say to that.
Howard said he and the woman stared at each other. He said there was a cop there and he was afraid he thought he thought he was talking to him. Howard said he didn't know what to do but he wasn't going to let her get away with that.
Howard said he's never had a day like that before. He said he's not used to all of this shit. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on.
Artie asked Robin if she thinks that David Letterman is going to get more women to watch now. Robin said she's more interested in Dave now than ever so she thinks that it is going to bring others in.
Howard and the guys pointed out that there are a lot of guys on TV show cheat and do other things and this Andrea Pyser woman is only calling for Dave to be kicked off of TV. Robin said that Charlie Sheen is still on TV and he's a known cheater.
Howard said he knows Dave a little bit and he feels bad for the guy that he can't enjoy that secret room that he had. Howard said he read that Dave really liked this girl that the producer was trying to blackmail him with. Howard said he read that Dave was still banging the chick even while the producer was dating her. He read that Dave was driving her home from work once in a while and the producer guy got suspicious of that.
Fred read that Dave had that girl out to his place in Montana as early as last November. Dave got married in March of this year.
Howard said he and Robin were talking about rape trials and someone mentioned to him that there are rape shield laws that protect a woman's past during a trial. Howard said that the trial for Letterman could end up using something like that to block Dave's history so the jury doesn't have to hear what he was up to and they can just hear the blackmail charges.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that they were saying in the Daily News they were saying that they could have been discussing that Dave was going to give the $2 million for something other than the script and it might go deeper than the blackmail thing.
Howard said he finds it funny that people are asking Dave to step down from his job when he's just a talk show host. Howard said this goes on all the time. Dominic said that he knows it goes on, he sees it all the time.
Howard said it's just crazy with the whole Letterman thing. He said that people are going nuts calling for his resignation and all of that.
Howard said the shows he's seen Dave doing have been funnier than ever. Howard said he's got something to talk about now. Robin said that's what she's saying too. She said he's been reinvigorated.
Howard said he's fascinated by Dave because he seems to be such a tight ass when he goes on the show. Howard said that this has made him more human just like Steve Martin said.
Howard said that Dave would probably pay $2 million for the diary of that chick he was having sex with. Howard said that he can't imagine what's in that diary. Artie said he would get some hush money out there if he knew a girl had a diary with stuff about him in it.
Howard said that these girls were really taken with Letterman. He said that when those diaries do come out, they're probably going to have things like pumpkin and apple picking like Artie did.
Howard asked who Dave had on his show last night. Robin said that KISS was on. JD said that Paul Shaffer was also on promoting a new book. Howard said that Paul seems to be Dave's new best friend. He said he's been saying that he can't do the show without Paul so there's a whole love affair going on there. Howard said that started before the whole scandal broke.
Howard said he gets the feeling that Paul has been up to some shenanigans too. He said they don't know that for sure and they don't even know Paul that well. Howard said he rubs Paul's head when he goes on that show.
Jon said that the local news is hit hard by Jay's ratings. They're losing 25-30 percent of their lead in. Conan is getting smoked because of what's going on with Letterman.
Howard asked what's going on with the blogs and if people are thinking Jay's show is a disaster. Jon said it's not happening yet. He said that the show is getting crushed and his show is going to continue to do horribly. He said that it's not going to work out well and it's a matter of who is going to be blamed. He said that Jeff Zucker's head is on the block right now. Howard said he likes that guy, he's met him a few times.
Howard said he told Conan not to leave the 12:30 time slot. He said he told Conan that he could only go down in the ratings because Jay was doing so well. Howard said that Jay had it made too and he should have gone to another network and done an 11:30 show. Howard doesn't understand what Leno was thinking.
Jon said that Nightline did a 5.5 rating and they're not dropping like Leno is. Howard said he thinks that Kimmel is doing okay and he stays at the same level. Howard said he's told Jimmy to stay in that time slot and not risk losing it with an earlier show.
Robin said they took some shows out of NBC's lineup to put Jay's show on and it seems that every move they make is hurting them.
Howard said he wants Jay's show to fail. He said he thinks it's horrible. He said he records it every night just to see how bad it is. He said that he saw the show with Rush Limbaugh and how awful that was. Howard said that Jay had Rush get into that bit he ripped off from ''Top Gear'' where they drive the car around. He said he hopes he fails just because Jay was a dick to him.
Howard said he did Jay's show and he let him promote there all the time and then he took Stuttering John from his show behind his back. Howard said he was happy for John for getting a good paying job but Jay could have been courteous and told him what his plans were for stealing John away from the show. Howard said he would have been fine with it if he didn't sneak around behind his back.
Howard said John has been helped a lot because Jay promised to take care of him when he did steal him away. Howard said he's not angry with John, he's angry with Jay.
Jon said that there won't be any syndication for Jay's show even if it stays on the air for a long time. They won't have any DVDs or anything. Jon said that people aren't even recording that show on DVRs. He read that it's one of the least DVR'd shows out there right now.
Howard said that's not going to help Jay out and he's going to lose out on the good guests when they hear about that stuff too.
Howard said he's glad that he backed Letterman. He said he was the only one who went on Dave's show and said ''Fuck Leno!'' Howard said he doesn't care that Jay was the number one guy. He said he has loyalty and he's not afraid to take sides.
Howard had a clip from his last Letterman appearance where he went off on Leno while talking to Dave. Howard told Dave that he never liked Jay and he's loyal to Dave. Dave thanked him for that. Howard said that he has never seen someone act like such a robot like Jay does.
Howard said he wishes that he had a secret bedroom like Dave had. Howard said he does have that office there and he sleeps in there but he only has 3 chairs in there. Howard said he should film himself sleeping in there. He has this wooden coffee table in there and a big brown leather chair. He puts his feet up on the wood thing and gets in the fetal position in the big chair and falls asleep. Howard said he doesn't even have a couch in there. He said he should have put a bed in there.
Howard said he calls people into his office once in a while instead of going to their offices. Howard said Mel used to haul him into his office to lecturer him about stuff so he started making them come into his office. Artie said it would be funny if he had a bed in there and he had them in there while he was in bed. Howard said he's just about asleep when he has meetings with those guys.
Howard was wondering when you pull out the bed and get the chick in there. He said he'd love to know how Dave made that work. Robin said that you can have the sheets on the bed when you have a pull out couch. Howard said they must have stains on the sheets and stuff. He had to have been leaving something behind for the cleaning lady to clean up.
Howard wondered if Dave gets a twinkle in his eye when he wants to go to mess around in the bed. He said that the guy is so miserable that it must be a weird situation. Howard said that the girl has to be wondering why that's all they do in the secret room.
Howard said he would want a full bedroom there and not just a pull out bed. Howard said that if he were Dave that's what he would have done. He could have had a whole bedroom in that secret office. Robin said they could have had a different arrangement.
Howard said that Les Moonves has a bedroom in his office. Howard said Les showed it to him. He said Mel didn't have that office at CBS when he was there. Howard said Mel had a stripped down situation there.
Howard said they had a CBS chef before Mel got involved. Howard said Mel asked what that was and stopped that as soon as he got there. Howard said Mel didn't like anything like that because the stockholders wouldn't like it.
Howard said Letterman should have a full bedroom. Robin said that they were saying that Letterman would use that day bed when he came in early on Mondays.
Artie said that Dave has an apartment in Manhattan so it's weird that he has that bedroom there. Howard said he would do the same thing because it's easier to get a chick at work than take her home.
Howard said Dave is now going to have nothing in that office so his wife won't get suspicious. Howard said it's going to look like the interrogation room at Guantanamo Bay.
Howard said he wants to hug Dave and tell him that it's okay to put a bed in his sex room. He said he feels like the sex room must have looked like that tent city that kidnapper Phillip Garrido had in his back yard. Howard said that Dave likes to torture himself and you'd think he'd have a big room with a nice big bed and some art work on the wall. Robin said maybe he was thinking that no one would suspect him if he did it the way he did.
Howard said a day bed is awful for sleeping on. He said you fuck on one when you're in college, not when you're a late night talk show host.
Howard said he's thrilled he's in a marriage where he doesn't have to think about this kind of thing. Robin said that Dave's ex has a great line about how Dave promised her that she would be the only one he would cheat on.
Howard said they had Larry Johnson calling in and Larry is the guy who wrote a book about the place where they have Ted Williams' head frozen. Howard said that Bai Ling is also going to be coming in. Mad Dog Russo is going to be coming in as well. That led to the guys talking sports for a few minutes. Gary was saying that the Green Bay game on Monday night was huge in the ratings. They had 60 percent of the TV audience in Minnesota that night. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what song Fred was playing. Fred said it was a new song for the Best Of collection. Howard listened to it for a short time and Robin said she liked it. Howard asked Fred if he liked it. Fred liked it too because it was something different than they usually do. Robin said it was a departure for them.
Fred said that they do know what they're doing and they come out with some great songs on each album. Robin said she hasn't seen them around lately and she was wondering what they were up to.
Howard said he had this guy Larry Johnson on the phone. He worked at this place where they have Ted Williams head frozen. Howard said that they think that some day they may be able to attach his head to another body. Howard said that they need the technology to thaw him out and then put the head on another body.
Howard said that Larry Johnson wrote the book ''Frozen: My Journey into the World of Cryonics, Deception, and Death'' after working at this place where they had Ted's head frozen. He didn't like the way they were doing things there and he wrote the book.
Larry was on the phone and said that Alcore hasn't sued him yet but they have filed some paperwork to stop the book. He said the judge didn't see it their way so he's letting the book come out. He said that he's allowed to talk about the content of the book too.
Howard said that it's not clear if Ted wanted to be frozen or not. Larry said he's been told that is not what Ted wanted and his family may have done it without his knowing. Howard said that he wanted to ask Reggie Jackson about that yesterday. He said that Larry claims that Ted's head was mistreated there and they took baseball like swings at his head to free it from a perch on a tuna can.
Howard read the quote from the book about that and they say that the heads are kept on a stand but the stand is a Bumble Bee tuna can. Howard said that they hit his head to knock it off of that can. The guy was using a monkey wrench when he hit it.
Larry said that they do use a perch and they used a tuna can on the top of the head. Howard asked if they freeze it to the head. Larry said they put the head on the can and freeze it in the canister. He said that after a few days they take it out and the can is frozen to the head. He's not sure why they use a tuna can though.
Howard said Larry claims he sat in his car and cried after witnessing that tuna can incident. Larry said he's seen some harsh stuff in his life because he's a paramedic but it took that to make him break down.
Larry said he started working for the company as the COO and he kind of had a bait and switch thing happen to him. He said he didn't know that it was going to be like it was.
Howard said that Larry claims that Ted is going to have a crack in his head from the hitting with the monkey wrench.
Larry said that they're thinking that they might be able to create a new body for his head some day. He said that some people are frozen whole.
Howard read some more notes from Larry's book. He had a lot of details about the Ted Williams head and how poorly it was treated. They had to chisel his head off the body according to Larry. Larry said they used a hammer and chisel to get the head off. He said it wasn't done in a medical way.
Larry talked about how there are a few companies doing this kind of thing. There are two that are based on the same company and another one that's on its own.
Howard asked Larry if they're making any money. Larry said that he's not sure if he's making any money with the book. He's putting the book out to get some notice for what they're doing in these places. Larry said he can't say where he's working now because he has to protect himself. He said that the past few years haven't been too fun for him.
Larry said that he has doubts that anyone will ever be reanimated. He said that if that's your wish that's fine but he doesn't think that anything will ever happen. He said that some people freeze their pets at these places too.
Howard said that he would like a picture of Ted Williams with the tuna can frozen to his head. He thanked Larry for calling in and gave him some plugs for the book and a web site at FrozenBook.com. Larry said he'll have some clips on there soon and you'll be able to hear the conversations he had with the people at Alcore.
Artie said that he saw a documentary about Ted Williams and how one of his daughters really fought hard against having his head frozen. The company seemed kind of ominous in that documentary too. Howard said he was thinking about freezing his dad's head too. He said he'd have a sardine can frozen to his head. He may just send his parents to the South Pole instead. Howard let Larry go after that.
Howard wondered if the tuna can was on the top of the head for a reason. Robin said they put the head in the cylinder to freeze it and they put the can in there to keep the head from sticking to the container. Robin said that it's a resting spot.
Howard still didn't get it. Will came in and showed Howard what they were talking about. Howard said he still didn't understand it. Robin told Howard over and over that they used it to keep the head from resting in the bottom of the cylinder. Howard finally got it.
Howard said the picture that Will had was very disturbing. He said he sees what they're talking about now. He said it's pretty cool.
Robin said that it's funny that they never thought about how to get the tuna can off the head. Howard said they did, they just knocked it off with a wrench. He said that sounds like a Three Stooges kind of thing. Howard said they might have to make a movie like that.
Lisa said that it's been two weeks since Ronnie's Auto Show was canceled by JD. Howard said he felt bad for Ronnie while he was out in Vegas with him. Lisa said that he's been asked to do a show on the NASCAR channel there. Robin said that JD might not cancel it since that is a car channel. Ronnie is also going to be on the Sid Rosenberg show soon too.
Lisa said that Artie's audio book has been submitted to the Grammy's and it is on the ballot of about 70 other books. If it gets enough votes it could be a nominee. Artie laughed and said he's sure it has a shot.
Lisa said that Gary has been listed on the web site for his alma matter Adelphi. They list him as getting some Richard F. Klemo award for a film he made. Howard did his Gary voice and goofed on that for a short time. Gary said he didn't win an award for his film, he won it for being the outstanding communications student. He
Howard and Gary talked about that award for a few minutes. Gary said that the award was named after the husband of a woman who worked in the communications department there. Howard goofed on Gary since he was very proud of having a Klemo award winner there.
Gary said that Lisa is also an award winner. She's won a few awards and even won a Gracie award. Howard had no idea what that was. Lisa said it's an award named after Gracie Allen. Howard was still doing his Gary voice and making fun of his dopey award. Howard was making fun of Gary's teeth and his award. Howard said he had no idea that he had the outstanding student award winner working for him.
Robin wondered why the woman's husband would have an award named after him. Howard had no idea. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had actress Bai Ling come in. Howard said she had some look going on today. Howard said she looks like she's doing a Howard Stern impression. Bai said that she anted to do something different and asked Howard how she looked. Howard said she always has an interesting look like Lady Gaga. Bai said that Lady Gaga is learning from her.
Bai said that she was trying to look like Howard and she thinks she succeeded in making it work this morning. Howard asked her if she's still working. She said she just finished a movie overseas. Howard asked if she has any problems doing movies here in the States with the accent she has. She said that it's really not that hard. Bai said that she came there from the moon. Howard said that she's wacky and he loves that. Howard said she must be wild in bed.
Howard said he can't see Bai's body today. He said that coat she had on was annoying him. She said she would show him later what it looks like.
Howard asked Bai where she grew up. She grew up in south west China. Bai said she loved China at the time. She said she's writing a book about her life and she thinks that Howard is going to love it. She said that she joined the army over there and things were very restricted there in the army.
Bai said that she had never heard the word ''sexy'' over there. She said that it was a dirty or bad word over there. She said she got upset when she heard it in the States for the first time. She eventually figured out that it was a good thing.
Howard asked Bai about having electro shock therapy and if she felt that was damaging to her. Bai took her jacket off while they were talking about that. Howard said he heard she has very big nipples. Bai asked who told him that. Howard said he knows an actor who had sex with her. She said that she was in Playboy too so they could have seen them there.
Bai said that she's very healthy and the electro shock didn't damage her. Howard asked her why they gave it to her at the age of 14. Bai said she has a wild nature and doesn't follow the rules and laws. There was nothing wrong with her but they took her into a hospital and shocked her 100 times. Howard asked her if that was a major thing in her life. She said it was but she emerged from the other side and she was fine.
Bai said that she remembers going into the hospital and how she wanted to get out. She said that she thinks that she may have gotten herself put in there. She said that she was sad and lost at the time. Bai said that she's very happy now though.
Howard asked Bai about what she was wearing and she started to take off more of the clothes she was wearing. Howard said that was great. He asked her how much she weighs. She said she's at about 106 pounds.
Howard asked Bai if she works out. She said she doesn't do any exercise but she is very active. She dances and stuff. Howard played her some Black Eyed Peas ''Boom Boom Pow'' to dance to. She demonstrated her dancing abilities and Howard said she really can dance. He said she's not inhibited at all. He said that she's insane.
Howard told Bai to take off some more clothes. She did that but she had so much on that she wasn't getting naked. Howard said he did have a boner from it. He said that she's really wild and doesn't even need the music. Howard told her that she's super hot.
Howard got up and danced with her for a short time. Howard was worn out after that. He was breathing heavy after just a minute of dancing. Bai said that she' snot sure how Howard can live with the long hair like that. Her wig was in the way and she wasn't sure how he dealt with it.
Howard asked Bai if she's dating Lionel Richie. She said that they're just friends. Howard said he's a lucky man if he's getting her.
Howard asked Bai about working with Angelina Jolie and how she thinks that they had a connection and she thinks that they will sleep together some day. Bai said that they did have a connection and she likes the way that Angelina isn't afraid to be who she is.
Bai told Howard that she's a great actress and she thinks that she's the best in the world. Howard asked if she thinks that they don't give her enough credit. Bai said that is what she thinks. Bai said she thinks that she's right up in the top of the list of the best actors out there right now. She said that Johnny Depp is a great actor and he does roles for art and she really admires that.
Howard asked Bai if she has ever acted on her bi-sexual tendencies. She said that she has but she can't say who they were. Bai said that she loves men and women. Bai said they don't have that concept of being ''bi-sexual'' because they don't have that where she came from.
Howard said that Bai must be that wild in bed. Bai said she loves sex. She said she has this sensuality and built into her from being an actress. Howard asked if she would lick a guy's balls. She said that's kind of gross. She said that she doesn't want to lick the ass either. She said she does love the love making though.
Howard asked Bai if she would tongue an ass if she was really worked up and hot. She said she's really not sure why Howard is asking her about that. Howard asked her if she has had anal. She didn't know what that meant. Howard explained that to her and asked if she has ever experienced that. Bai said that she's a free spirit.
Howard told Bai to answer the questions or he'd have her arrested. She just screamed out and said ''Lets dance!'' Howard asked her if she was wearing panties today. She said she can't talk about that. She said she likes to keep that a mystery.
Howard asked Bai how tall she is. She said she's 5'5'' or 5'6'' tall. Bai told Howard he should be a basketball player in China because he's so tall.
Howard asked Bai about being arrested for shoplifting last year. She said that she wanted to get in a plug for her movie first. That movie is ''A Beautiful Life.''
Howard asked Bai about the shoplifting thing but Bai asked him about his wife instead. Howard said that she's very beautiful. She had never seen her before. Howard checked his bag for a picture and found one for her. Bai said that she's hot. Howard gave her a bunch of pictures and Bai asked if she dances for her. Howard said she doesn't. He said that's because they're married.
Bai asked to see Beth's nipples but Howard didn't have any showing them. Howard said he'd show her later. Howard told Bai he's been married a year now. Bai congratulated him on that. She told Howard he's very lucky.
Howard asked Bai about Lionel Richie and if he can get it up for her. Bai said that he looks great and she respects him. Howard said he has interviewed him before. He said he worries that he can't get hard for Bai. She wasn't saying anything.
Howard asked Bai about the shoplifting thing again. Bai said she wrote about this on her blog at OfficialBaiLing.com. She said that she updates that every day.
Bai said she went to this store to buy some batteries. She said that she had broken up with her boyfriend at the time and she was crazy. She said that she had picked up some magazines and batteries and she was talking on her phone when this cop showed up. She said that the cop told her that if she cooperated with her then they wouldn't charge her. She said that she just went along with the guy and they arrested her even though she didn't do anything wrong. Bai said that she was just there talking on the phone and it was a misunderstanding.
Bai said she was supposed to shoot a movie the next morning and she was worried about that. Bai said she was in jail for a few hours and people were asking her for autographs in there. Bai said that she was told she was lucky that she got out because there was a fan of hers there at the jail.
Howard asked Bai if they did a body cavity search on her. She said they didn't do that. Robin said it was just a $16 item so it wasn't like she had committed some kind of huge crime.
Bai said that her skirt was bothering her so she took that off. Bai said that she wanted some coffee too. Howard said he'd get her some.
Howard asked Bai if she had broken up with Damon Elliot at that time. Bai said that she didn't want to get into that. She said she just wishes him luck with everything. Howard said that Damon is the one who said she had big nipples. Howard asked Bai if she would ever cheat on him if he dated her. She said she would never do that to him.
Howard gave Bai some plugs for this movie ''A Beautiful Life'' and asked if she's naked in it. Bai said you'll have to check it out. She said that she does do a stripping scene where she's doing some erotic dancing. Bai said that she had never done that stuff in public before. She said that she does it at home with her boyfriends but never in public.
Bai told Howard about how she did the scene and just did it. She said that she sang the song in that scene herself too. Bai said that it was her character and she wanted to sing that song. Bai said that she was singing it out loud in the scene too.
Howard said that Bai doesn't have a TV set so she's not even sure what American Idol is. Bai said that she's heard of it but she hasn't watched.
Howard asked Bai how many languages she speaks. Howard said that she knows English and Artie threw in a quick ''She does?'' as Bai was talking about some of the other languages she speaks.
Howard took a call from Wood Yi (Steve the Engineer audio clips) who asked Bai to stick her finger in his ass and make a moustache on his face. Wood Yi told her to spit on his cock before Howard hung up on him.
A caller told Howard to get Bai on the Sybian and electro shock her. Howard asked if we get to see her boobies in her movie. She said that you get to see her sexy characters.
Howard asked if Bai banged Mickey Rourke. She said she didn't. She said that there are a lot of stories about her banging these guys and they chase after her. She said that she doesn't chase after guys like that. Bai said she doesn't want to say anything against them because that's not cool. Bai said that Mickey asked her to hang out with him but she wasn't going after him.
Howard said that Bai's agent had to release a statement saying that she's not a whore because so many guys were trying to get her. Bai said that some people are very rude to her and Mickey Rourke was one of them. She said she doesn't know him very well so she didn't really have anything against him. She said that she's not chasing after any men like some people think.
Howard asked Bai how a guy is supposed to meet her. She said that chasing after her isn't the right way. Howard asked Bai how often she has sex. She said that she likes to do that but didn't have a set number of days. She said that she might have more of that in her book.
Bai said that she did a movie called ''Nipples'' and she acted and directed that and you get to see her boobs in that. Howard asked to see them but Bai wasn't showing him. Howard said he could see that her headlights were on.
Howard told Bai he likes that she ran around the studio dancing and wore the wig and all of that. Howard said he likes a free spirit like that.
Bai mentioned another movie called ''Love Wrench'' too. Howard said she's got a lot of movies to mention today. Bai said that this one is good and it has Joe Pesci in it. She said that the role wasn't written for someone like her. It was written for a blonde.
Bai told Howard that he was very nice to her today. Howard told her that she has a great stomach. Bai said she wanted to meet Howard's wife some day. Howard said he'd like that to happen. He said that they might get along just fine. Howard asked Bai if she likes licking a man in her mouth. Bai said that she gets very shy in bed. Howard said he gets shy but only because he has cellulite.
Bai asked Robin if she has a boyfriend. Robin said she's playing the field right now so she doesn't have one. Bai asked Robin why she was in that booth. Howard said that's because the rest of them are free.
Howard asked Bai what she thinks about Robin not swallowing a man's load. Bai said that sex is beautiful but she wasn't saying what she thought about the load thing.
Howard asked Bai about her tattoos and she said she has some that she can't show him. She said that he has to find out next time maybe. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a prank call Sal made to a pizzeria asking them to send over a young delivery boy with his delivery. Fred played Beck's ''Where It's At'' as they were coming back.
Howard said that Mad Dog Russo was running late so he was going to take some phone calls. Howard picked up on one guy but the guy wasn't there. Howard was going to move on to the next call but he listened to the guy's phone for a few seconds to see if he would pick up.
Another caller said the Bai Ling interview was good and he could only think of a prank call that Sal and Richard made to the clock store woman who says ''cock'' instead of clock.
Howard said that Mad Dog was supposed to stop in but he got stuck in traffic. He read an email from a guy who said that Eric the Midget hasn't been calling in and he misses it. There was some feedback about Gene Simmons' call yesterday. Howard said someone thought he was being disrespectful of the show when he called in.
Howard said he was thinking that Gene should just meet with the fans without charging them all the time. Howard said if you're making that much money you don't have to charge them for every single thing.
Howard read an email from a guy who said that the ''Every Homo'' song they played yesterday was floating around in his head while he had a client meeting and it was tough to get through it.
Howard had some feedback about Reggie Jackson's interview yesterday. Howard read through that and there was a lot of positive feedback about that interview.
Howard said he thinks that Artie was upset about Reggie letting him hold his ring and inviting him to the Yankee game. Artie said he was kind of jealous of that stuff. He said he's really not that miffed about it though. Howard said he just wants to get out of going to the game. Howard said that Beth said that she'd go with him if he wanted. Howard said he would go if he can bring his wife with him. Howard said he wishes that Artie could go because he knows that he'd love it. Howard said if he can bring his wife he will go.
Howard read an email from a woman who said that she tried to speak to Reggie on a flight one time and he just looked at her and never spoke to her on the flight. There were other people who said that he was a great guest. He read a couple more of those too.
Howard played a new song parody by the Bleeding Deacons called ''Show Your Tits'' to the tune of ''Love the One You're With.''
Howard had some new porn clips that Sal and Richard found. He had one of a guy being really loud during a scene. He played that and got some laughs from that. The guy was from France according to Howard.
Howard said that Mad Dog isn't going to make it in on time this morning. Gary said that he's still 15 minutes away. Gary said he swears he left at 6:30 this morning. Howard said he's pretty sure that Russo will make it to Letterman on time when he's on in a few weeks.
Howard said guys are trying to get into porn with their own sayings like Nick Manning. He said he has a new clip of a guy yelling out ''Goal!'' when he finishes. He played that one and the guy yells out ''Goaaaal'' a couple of times as he's finishing.
Howard played another one of a French woman getting peed on while speaking French. Howard had a bunch of other stuff to play too.
Howard played more of Sal trying to explain why he got the author of Tom Sawyer wrong in the game they played. Sal was talking about the difference between Africa and South Africa too. Howard played the clip of him talking about that too. Robin said ''Oh my goodness'' as she heard that. Then Gary and Jon asked Sal about what country was above us and below us here in the United States. You can read all of that craziness here.
Howard and the guys were goofing on Sal about that stuff. Sal didn't know that Canada was above us right away. It took him a minute to figure it out.
In the clip Sal didn't know what was below us and he threw out ''China'' as an answer. Jon even gave him a clue and he didn't get it right away. Gary gave him some hints and it finally came to him.
Howard said that's pretty amazing. He played some more of Sal talking about how he learns stuff and it will stay with him after that. Then Benjy threw in that there's another America other than North and South. Sal thought it was ''Center America.''
Howard said that it's amazing that Sal knows so little. He said he doesn't know as much as Fred does know. Howard said if he were Sal he's be motivated to look at a map once in a while. Gary said he gave Sal a book that breaks down history and stuff and Sal said he looked at it and just got bored.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man. S.I.M. asked Howard if he could bang any girl with him and Beth, who would it be? Howard said that Bai Ling would be good. S.I.M. asked what movie she was in. Howard said she was in some movie with Angelina Jolie. S.I.M. didn't know that she was a woman.
S.I.M. asked Artie if he could open for him because he's been working on his comedy. Howard hung right up on him. Artie thanked him for that so he didn't have to answer him. Howard said that Bai Ling would be cool with him and Beth.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's flabbergasted that Sal can be so dumb. Howard said it is amazing that he can get through a day and survive. Howard asked Sal if he can answer questions for his kids. Sal said he doesn't talk about this in front of his kids.
Sal said he does stuff to make a living. He said that he only learns stuff that are pertinent to him. Sal said that everyone learns this stuff in school though. Fred said that Sal wasn't busy making prank calls in school.
Sal asked Howard what good it does him to know that stuff. Howard said that it's just general knowledge that everyone learns in school. Sal knows how to read but that's not relevant to him.
Sal aid he can apply himself to stuff and he didn't do that with geography. He said he just can't absorb that stuff.
Howard asked Sal if he can say the whole alphabet without singing it. Sal started to say it but he sang it. Howard asked him what the letter after R was. Sal knew it was S. Howard said that he does know the alphabet. He wondered how bad it gets with him.
Robin asked Sal to name a country in ''Center America.'' Sal said that he figured out that it was Central America. Sal said that calling it Center is just as good as Central. He said that he's in the right vicinity when he says Center.
Sal also explained that he did mean ''enamored'' when he was talking about Sarah in that earlier clip. The guys asked Sal where New York is located, in the North, South, East or West. Sal said he had to do this thing ''Never Eat Soggy Waffles'' to figure out north, south, east and west. Sal knew that New York was in the East.
Fred asked Fred what states are in the North West. Sal didn't know. He didn't even know where California was on a map they showed him. He pointed to Montana. Howard asked Sal to point to California and he finally got it right. Sal said it was ''probably this'' as he was pointing to it.
Sal knew where Texas was. Fred asked him what's next to that. He didn't know so Howard said that was enough of that, he just doesn't know. Sal also pointed to New York and said it was in that general area.
Gary asked Sal about being a stockbroker and if he ever had to look up something on a map. Sal said that he would have to talk about something like that but it really doesn't matter if he knows where it is or not.
Sal said that just because you know a lot of stuff doesn't mean you're going to make it in this life. He said that he has street smarts and that's what counts.
Gary said he bets that he could find 10 homeless guys who know where California is on a map. Sal told him to bring them and he'll lick his balls. Gary said he doesn't want him licking his balls.
Howard said he'll revive his reputation. He said he'll ''unencucumber him'' from all of this. He played a new Tradio call that Sal made.
Sal said that he and Richard listen to Tradio all day long and they heard this guy call in from his cell phone and that inspired them to do this call. Howard played the call that he played yesterday where they over modulate their voices and call into the Tradio show so the guy can't understand what they're saying. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said he called in a couple of weeks ago about having herpes. He told his girlfriend about it after getting advice from Howard. He said that the chick told him that she had them too. He said it worked out good. Howard said his advice is sometimes relevant. Now there's true love.
The caller asked if he should stop wearing a condom. Howard said he would keep wearing it. Howard told the guy he had $711 to win if he wanted to play the Amish Game with them. They had the $711 from 7-Eleven.
Howard played the first question which was ''Who is Madonna?'' Howard said that Amish don't know much about pop culture so he may not know the answer to that. Howard played the answer for the guy and the Amish guy didn't know the answer.
Howard played the game with the guy and he had 5 questions for him to match up with. Here are the questions and the Amish guy's answers:
Steve said that Craig Ferguson's show beat Conan's ratings on Monday night thanks to David Letterman's lead in ratings.
Steve had some updates about Richard Christy's love of Halloween and an interview he did about that. They'll have more about that and the Letterman stuff today on the news.
Howard said that Steve had more about Leno and Letterman than he did about the Stern Show guys. Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. The guys spent a little time talking about Bai Ling while Jon was doing his thing. They were also goofing on Gary about his Klemo award. Howard said that he loves seeing Gary typing with two fingers. He said it's like Early Man. He said that it was like early man discovering the keyboard. Howard said that's the guy who won the outstanding student award typing with two fingers.
Howard said Leslie West walked in while he was eating dinner last night at Nobu and Leslie's wife is very hot. Howard said he was out with Ross at Nobu and Ross was saying that he doesn't eat a lot of the stuff he was eating. Howard said Ross won't eat green stuff or scallops. He actually returned his food because there was something green on his fish taco. It was just silantro.
Howard goofed on Ross who was in Gary's office. Ross was talking to him on Gary's microphone and said that at least he chews unlike Robin.
Howard talked about how Ross only likes one kind of cheese but he fooled him one time and he didn't know that he ate other kinds of cheeses. Ross said that cheese is like Kryptonite to him. Howard said that Ross eats weird things like Anchovies and Sardines. Howard said his father is a picky eater too so he eats the same shit his father eats. He said it's fascinating that Ross can't break free and be his own guy.
Howard said when they have Ross over he has to cater to his bullshit. He said that he's had to stop doing that. Howard said Ross will eat hard boiled eggs in his office and it makes his office smell like shit. Ross said that they're healthy for him.
Howard told Ross to stop acting like a 3 year old and branch out a bit. Howard kept doing his Ross impression goofing on him for a few minutes.
Robin got back to her news and read that Mary Louise Parker is in the top 5 hot chicks in that Esquire article. Howard said she is hot. Artie wasn't sure if she belonged in the top 5. Robin said that Megan Fox is number 7. She asked if Mary is sexier than Katy Perry. Howard said that she's very sexy too.
Robin read a story about a poll that was done about David Letterman's popularity. They found that he has taken a hit since the story came out last week. Howard said his rating is up with him and he may have to go on the show to talk to Dave now.
Robin said that they aren't letting people wear backpacks into Yankee stadium anymore. They're also banning briefcases and other containers.
Howard asked who has been taking over Mike Gange's duties this week. Richie Wilson came in and told Howard that he's been coming in for Mike. Richie said he can't go instead of Gange because they have the ticket set up for Gange already. Howard said they will make sure that's changed and he will send him out instead. Howard said he wants Richie to go instead of Gange.
Richie told Howard he will do whatever he wants and got the hell out of the studio as quick as he could. Gange called in and told Howard that he's actually glad that he's doing this. He said he's really sick and he would rather stay home than go on that trip. Howard said that there must be other guys who want to go instead of him. Gange said that it's hard to get someone to go.
Ronnie came in and said that he called Gange last night and he said he was sick. Ronnie said he understands that he doesn't want to go. Gange said he will ask around and try to get someone to fill in for him. Gange said he was trying to come in yesterday but he was told not to come in. Gange said he has work to do and he doesn't know what else to do.
Howard said that Brian Phelan was saying that he would fill in for Gange instead. Howard said Brian will force himself to do that. Gange said that he'll avoid coming into the studio tomorrow too so he doesn't make anyone else sick.
Gary came in and said that there are a bunch of guys at Howard TV who want to go on that trip to Miami. He said that they haven't been asked to go. Howard said of course there are guys who want to go. He said that Gange is making it seem like he's too sick to go but he really wants to go. Howard told Gange to name the people he asked to go for him. Howard said he probably can't name any.
Howard told the guys to get Mike back on the phone so he can ask him who he asked to go instead of him. Howard said there are a ton of guys who want to go down there for that. Howard said Gange probably asked telepathically. Howard said he wasn't able to get Mike on the phone now of course.
Robin got back to her news and read about a guy who had gotten arrested for abusing a corpse at work. Howard said he knows guys who dress people up in costumes and stuff.
Gange called in so Howard asked him who he asked. Gange said he's been asking producers like Gregg Karmel. He said that Richie doesn't like to do weekend trips. Howard asked Gange who he asked. Gange said that he asked Gregg and he can't go. Gange said that Doug wanted him to go. He said the only person he asked was Gregg. Howard said that Gange is a liar then. He said that Gange wants to go to Miami.
Gange said that he wants Richie to go for him. He said that he was going to ask him but he hadn't gotten around to it. Howard said he's pretty sure that Gange would have passed this off to someone else if it wasn't a strip club down in Miami. Gange said he had other people he was going to ask but they might be busy too. He said that Lee Gerowitz might be available. He said he'll let him know if he is. Howard let Mike go after that.
Howard goofed on Gange for a few more minutes after that. Howard said he has never missed work in the 35 years he's been doing it. He said maybe once or twice he's missed it. He said he'll cancel plans if he feels that he's getting sick.
Howard said that if this was a ''Inside Jeff the Drunk's Ass'' special they had to shoot, Gange would pass it along to someone else. When it's a strip club Gange wants to go.
Gange called in and said that he would rather spend his weekend in New York than go down to Miami. He said that this is work and he's not doing it for himself. Howard hung up on Gange as he was saying that this is work. Howard said Gange is amazing.
Howard asked why Gange wouldn't just switch with the other producer who is working on the Beetlejuice stuff.
A caller goofed on Beth calling her a horse so Howard spent a minute calking that guy a cocksucker and wondering what he's fucking.
Robin read more about the guy who was accused of messing around with cadavers. Howard said that would be great if they found that Letterman was doing something like that.
Robin read about Rush Limbaugh thinking about buying the St. Louis Rams. Howard said that kind of bummed him out. He said he can't believe the guy is that successful.
Howard found out that Gange didn't ask Gregg Karmel to go in place of him until after he spoke to him on the phone. Howard said that Gange lied to him.
Robin read a story about how 75 percent of women who die of breast cancer have never had a mammogram. Howard said that Beth has them every year. Robin said that they found that most women who die from it don't have them.
Robin read about a woman who was mauled by a black bear in Pennsylvania. She kept it as a pet. Howard said he thinks that she worked for a guy who kept them as pets. Robin said she had thrown some food to the bear to distract it while she cleaned his cage and it turned on her. They also kept a tiger and lion on the property and they did have a permit to do so.
Robin read about Mel Gibson getting off on some drunk driving charges from 2006. That was the arrest he had when he had picked the cop out as being a Jew. Robin said that they're going to wipe that DUI from his record. Artie said he should have called his cop a Jew too.
The guys were wondering how Gibson picked that cop out as a Jew. Howard said it's tough to do that when a cop is in uniform. Howard said that's a great disguise to hide yourself. Howard said they need to get a picture of the cop to see how Gibson picked him out.
Benjy found a picture of the cop and showed it to Howard. Howard said he's not sure he wanted to go over to see it. Benjy showed him the picture and he didn't think he could identify him as being a Jew. Artie said he wasn't screaming Jew. Artie said Mel looks more Jewish than the cop did. Howard said Mel is quite the anti-Semite. Howard said that he would have been an amazing Jew hunter.
Howard said he'd love to get Mel on the show to play a game where he holds up pictures of guys to find out of he can pick the Jews out.
Robin read that the H1N1 flu vaccine are being distributed this week. She had some audio of someone talking about the vaccine and how flu season can last well into May. The guy said that they have to take the steps that we can to protect ourselves.
Howard said Mike Gange found someone to cover for him. Gange was on the phone and said that Mick Schiff is going to cover for him. Howard said he knew he could find someone. Howard thanked him and let him go a short time later.
Howard said Mike should be able to get better now with the weekend off. Howard said that Gange was out partying this weekend and there are pictures up on his Facebook account. Howard said he knows what he's up to out there.
Howard said Gange should be taking care of himself and not going out drinking on the weekend. Howard said Gange must have swine flu because he's a fat pig. He said he was just joking about that.
Howard said that Gange lies to him all the time and he finds out. He said he doesn't even want to find out but he does.
Robin said that last week she was out in Los Angeles and saw Christmas decorations going up on Rodeo Drive. Robin said that people are desperate to get people out shopping. Howard said their secret Santa put a dent in the economy. Howard said that's when it started to tank.
Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how much sales are going to drop this year. They think it's going to drop a lot this year.
Robin read some news about Dancing with the Stars and how they voted off Debbie Mazar and Tom DeLay bowed out due to problems with his feet.
Robin read about celebrity memorabilia and how Artie was talking about the shirt he got from Thurman Munson's family. Howard said he's started to collect a few things. He said that the has that guitar from Paul McCartney and a bunch of gold records and stuff. Howard said he had a lot saved in storage and finally started to hang some of it up. Howard said he doesn't buy any of this stuff though. It's stuff that he's had given to him. Robin read about how some hair that Elvis gave to a person is going up for auction. They say that it could sell for between $8-12,000. The Elvis discussion led to Howard doing his impression for a short time.
Robin read that Vince Vaughn has a new movie coming out. She had an audio clip of him talking about that. Howard played some of that and kept interrupting. Howard said Vince was comparing himself to Richard Pryor in that clip. Howard said he doesn't know the guy and maybe he's a nice guy.
Robin said that Elizabeth Taylor is tweeting now and she's talking about her heart problems. Robin read some of those tweets from the 77 year old. Robin said that they must give her extra characters or something because her's were very wordy.
Robin read about the Chris Rock movie and the controversy that's going on about that and the documentary that a woman claims he ripped off. Robin had some audio of Chris and this woman talking about the movie. Howard said he thought he was going to get to hear Chris and this other woman was rambling.
Robin read a story about this guy who is up in the space station now. He's the founder of Cirque Du Soleil and he has been up there for about a week. He hasn't been able to do a lot of acrobatic stunts up there. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about how he had hit his head about 3 times in a day trying to get used to being weightless.
Robin read that the guy paid $35 million to go up there and he's going to be reading poetry on Friday. Howard said he won't be there for that. They had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:40am.
Jon asked why it's always Doug and Gange who end up going on those trips. Gary said it's becuase they're great assiangments. Gary said he would liek to go out on those trips too. Jon asked if Gange will ever stop posting on Facebook. Gary said that it's like a battle of wills now and neither of them are going to give up.
Gnage caleld in and said he isn't lying. He said the pictures that were posted weren't from this past weekend. He siad they were from a couple of weeks ago. Jon asid that he has to understnad that Howward wuold get upset that he's going to go on a trip after being sick.
Gange said that the shooot was booked a month ago. He said he is trying to get better so he can get back to work. Gange said he's not going to the strip club today and he's back to work today.
Gary asked Jon if he would let his kids go to a birthday party this afternoon if they were sick this morning. Jon said no to that. Gange said that he's sick right now but he might be better by the time he has to fly down to Florida.
Gary told Gange he should just pass it off. Gange said Doug gave him the responsibility and he can't just pass it off to anyone. He said that other people have work and lives so you can't ask them to drop it at the last second.
Jon asked Gange if he waited until after Howard spoke to him about finding a replacement. Gange said that he started asking when Howard started complaining.
Gange said that he goes to the shoots he's asked to go to. He said he'd rather be home on the weekends and not out traveling.
Jon asked Gange about what trips he went on last. Gange said he was out in Vegas for Artie's thing out there but he was already on vacation out there that weekend.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he felt bad for Gange at first until he got caught in the lie. Gange said that he was asked to go on this trip and most people don't want to go when they're asked to do these trips. Gange said that there are people who just can't go.
Benjy said that Howard asked Gange who he asked and he's now saying that he's basing that on historical data. He said that he was guessing who would say no before even asking anyone. Gange said he knows what everyone's reactions would be. Gange said he asked two people after Howard complained and they said no.
Gary said that Gange could say no to Doug when he's asked to go. Gange said he doesn't do that. Gange said that he will go when Doug asks him to go.
Jon asked Gange if he's going to continue posting on Facebook. Gange said he doesn't post that much but he may post stuff about the Yankee games that are coming up.
Another caller said that Gange is a straight up liar and he asked him how he can do that to Howard. Gange said that he asked people right after Howard asked him. The guys told Gange that he told Howard he had already asked people when he didn't. Gange said he was basing that on historical knowledge. The caller said that Howard didn't ask him for that information though. He asked him if he had asked anyone and Gange said yes.
Gange said that he always says yes when he's asked to go on these trips unless he has something conflicting. Gange said that Howard singles him out when he's sick but he's a hypocrite because if he came in sick he'd be asked why he came to work sick. Then he stays home sick and he's doing wrong again. He said he just can't win.
Gary said years ago Howard went out to dinner with Al Rosenberg and his wife, who is dead now, and he got sick. He said that Al's wife was sick that night so Howard blamed her for getting sick for weeks after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was away on vacation for about a month and when he came back he saw that Gary still has his head up Howard's ass. He asked Gary why he tells stories about Howard from years ago and asked if he ever gets bored of that. Gary said that he has 25 years of history there and that's what the show is about. The caller asked Gary to do him one favor and asked him to stop saying ''A... B'' and ''level 1 and level 2'' stuff. Gary didn't know he did level 1 and level 2 stuff but he said he'd see what he could do about stopping it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that they're being rough on Gange and he seems to be telling the truth there. He could get better by the weekend.
Richie Wilson was in the studio so Gary asked him if Doug gives Gange those jobs because he's rewarding him or because he's good for those shoots. Richie said that Gange has been around a long time and he's got a good rapport with the club owners and stuff so that's why he gets the jobs.
Benjy asked Gange how often he's gotten some on those trips. Gange said he doesn't do well when he does those shoots. Gary said Gange got Kendra Jade that one time so he's getting some about 1 percent of the time.
Jon took another call from a guy who told Gange to just stay home and get better. Gange said that's what he's going to do.
Gary asked Mike if he's going to stop with the Facebook posts. Gary said that it's not him and he can't confirm or deny that it's Jason doing that. Gange said he's going to keep doing them and he's not going to stop just because of what Howard says.
Ronnie told Gange ''fuck you'' because he's totally screwed him. He said that now he's going to send a guy with him who doesn't like him. Ronnie said that Mike Schiff isn't crazy about him. He said that Lee Gerowitz doesn't like him either.
Ronnie said that he just gets a vibe but the guys asked what it was that gives him that vibe. Ronnie said that JD actually did him a favor by canceling his show. He said he's not angry with JD now, he's angry with Gange. Ronnie said that Brian Phelan should be the one going. Gange said that he's not a producer though. Ronnie insisted that he was.
Jon asked Gange why he thinks that his producers have issues with Ronnie. Gange said he's not sure they do. Ronnie said that Mike Schiff came to his house and shot there for a whole day. He doesn't have a problem with him. JD came in and said that he shot at Ronnie's house for a day too. Ronnie went off on him too and asked if he was going to start with him too.
JD was laughing at Ronnie talking about this vibe he gets off of the guys that work with him. Ronnie said that when he's with Lee Gerowitz he's at a strip club and they just don't hit it off.
Jon said that Lee and Mike are producers at Howard TV and Ronnie has gotten some kind of weird vibe off of them. Jon had Lee Gerowitz on the phone too so he asked him if he has a problem with Ronnie. Lee said that he has never had an issue with Ronnie before. He said that he has no idea what the vibe is. Ronnie said he can't put his finger on it but it's just a weird vibe he gets.
Lee said that they may not try too hard to be friendly with Ronnie because the crew has known each other so long they don't want to push themselves on them. Lee said that he has never had a problem with Ronnie though.
Mike Schiff was on the phone too and he said that he didn't have any idea what was going on. He said that he has never had a problem with Ronnie either. Ronnie said he needs someone who is fuckin' crazy to go with him. Ronnie told Mike not to worry about it.
Lee said that Ronnie doesn't know them very well so maybe that's what this is about. He said he's not going to go crazy just to get Ronnie to like him. Ronnie said that they're not getting the point.
Jon let Lee and Mike go and asked Ronnie if he gets this vibe from anyone else. Ronnie said he was getting it from Jon.
Ronnie said that he and JD are good now. He said that he came in on Monday and asked him how he was doing. Ronnie told JD that he did him a solid by canceling the show. Ronnie said he thanked him this morning in the hallway for cancelling it because now he's getting all kinds of other offers to do shows.
JD said that it's turned into a great thing for Ronnie and he's a lot happier now. Jon said he's glad that they're happy now.
Jon took a call from a guy who wondered why they're talking about Gange for more than 2 minutes. He said that they've spent too much time on this. Jon said they'd move on soon.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks that Howard picks on Gange too much. Ronnie said that he makes his own trouble by posting all of that stuff on the internet. He said Howard knows to look at it now since he puts it all on the internet.
Ronnie said he's told Gange that he brings it on himself. He said that Gange is always sick too and he needs to do something about that as well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had an idea for a bit. He said they take JD, Ralph and Gange and have a trivia show hosted by Ronnie. He said that Ronnie seems to be pretty smart. Gary said that JD isn't stupid, Ralph isn't stupid and Gange isn't stupid either.
Jon asked who the 3 dumbest people are there. Gary said that he'd clone Sal 3 times to give a top 3. He said that Ralph isn't a dumb guy so he can't put him on that list. Ronnie didn't even want to answer that question. He said he would never say that to anyone there.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that she wanted to say that she's in agreement with Gange 100 percent. She asked Gary about last week's fight week and if Howard ever apologizes to them for busting their asses. Gary said that he can't think of a time that Howard has apologized to him after the show. He said sometimes Howard is really mad at him and he isn't joking around.
Gary said he wasn't bothered by the Adelphi stuff today. He said some stuff gets under his skin but that didn't. Jon said that some stuff does get under his skin though. Gary said that sometimes it's just the way you wake up.
Gary told a story about his mother calling Howard's mother to get him to stop goofing on his teeth. Gary said that was when he was about 29 years old. Howard apologized to him and Gary told him to forget that call and keep goofing on his teeth.
The caller said that she would have quit if she had to work with them there. She said that hey must stay there for the money. She didn't think that she'd last more than a week. Gary said that it's really not like that there. They get along just fine most of the time and there are only a few times that things get down.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie is a weird guy for getting so pissed at JD when he canceled his show and now he's okay with it. He wondered what he was talking about with the weird vibe thing. None of the guys knew what he was talking about there.
Richie said that most of the time those guys meet up with Ronnie at those strip clubs and that's not the best place to try and buddy up with someone. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Jon played a clip where Robin figured out it was a Howard Stern outfit. Howard had no idea that's what it was.
Benjy said he was impressed that Robin got it. He said he thought that she was coming in dressed up like Ivy. Jon asked the guys if they think that she's the best actress out there. Gary said he couldn't even remember any movies that she's been in. Gary said he thought she was in ''Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'' but he was wrong about that. Jon said she was in ''Lost'' in one episode. She played a tattoo artist in that episode.
Jon said that Howard had talked about the electro shock therapy that they did to Bai. He wondered what that did to her. Gary said that fucks you up really bad. He said that it stays with you forever too.
Jon and the guys talked about the dancing Bai Ling did and how that all went down. Benjy said he felt like he could get her. He said he had that feeling that he could connect with her and get her. He said he felt that they could make it into a joke saying that he wanted to have sex with her and it would lead to sex.
Jon asked why licking balls was gross to Bai Ling. Benjy said that it may have been just saying it and she may have wanted to avoid talking about it. Benjy said she seemed to think that the whole show was about ass during that part of the interview.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Bai Ling was great today and she wasn't being phony or pretentious at all. She also said that the shock therapy does fuck you up and it does stay with you forever. She said that she's a nurse so she has seen what happens. She said she had worked at a hospital for a while and saw it happening. The woman said that it's a couple of shock paddles and they stick them on your head. The woman said it fucks up your memory and just screws you up.
The caller said that her aunt had the shock therapy done and they were trying to change her behavior. She said that it sounds like they did it to Bai Ling because she wasn't a communist. She said she loved her on the show today and she loved that she dressed up like Howard.
Gary said that he's seen movies where they do the shock therapy and it's really disturbing. He said they did that in ''One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest'' and in another movie with Angelina Jolie. He said it freaks him out every time.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he thought Bai was great in the movie ''The Crow.'' He also thought Howard had the hots for Bai Ling because he never gets up to dance. Gary said that he has danced with other people too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that they didn't shock that girl enough because she's nuttier than a fruit cake. The guy said Howard is good at interviewing people though because he can ask things that the people don't even get. He said he can play off of them and they never catch on to it.
Jon said that Bai pointed out that she tried to sing ''Like a Virgin'' and she had a hard time learning it. She said that if she gave Howard two songs in Chinese to learn then it would be tough for him too. Jon thought that was a good point.
Another caller said that he didn't think that she was good looking and it looked like she had been hit in the face with something. He said that she has a great body but her face is a butter face. Benjy said that her mug shot is a really bad shot. Benjy said that's a really bad shot of her. They found some other shots of her that were much better and Gary was impressed with some of the shots he saw.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Bai was in a movie called ''Red Corner'' where she played a lawyer for Richard Gere. He said that Gere wasn't allowed back in China after that. He said that she may have been kicked out of China after that as well. The caller said that she was great in the movie too.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she gives Howard a lot of credit for knowing what a beautiful woman is but for him to say that she was hot is wrong. She said that blows her mind. The woman said that Howard likes women who are thinner but when it comes to being attractive Bai Ling isn't someone to jump up and down about. She didn't like her acting ability either.
Gary told the woman that beauty is all subjective and you can't just say that she's not good looking just because she doesn't like her. The woman said that she used to think that Howard had good taste but she's not sure about that now.
Gary said that there are pictures of Bai Ling on the web where she does look very pretty. Benjy said that beauty is not subjective. He said that they have done studies on that. Gary said people see beauty in other places and it is subjective. Benjy said there are people who study beauty and it's a scientifically studied thing. Jon cut him off and said he was getting sucked into this.
Jon asked Benjy about who is doing these studies and where they come from. Benjy said there are scientists who study beauty. He said they do studies and stuff to find out what people think is beautiful. Gary said that's what people ''think'' is beauty. It doesn't prove anything.
Jon said that the caller didn't think that Bai Ling is beautiful. He asked Benjy if it makes her more beautiful with that outgoing personality she has. Benjy said he liked that part of her and he would feel more attracted to her. Gary said there was a sexiness to that whole package. That comes across with women who may not be the most beautiful.
A woman called in and said that there are studies about beauty and they do say that symmetry is what makes people attractive. Gary said they're not defining beauty though. That woman also said that she didn't think that Bai Ling was beautiful.
Another caller told the guys that beauty is studied in a scientific way. He said that they do find things that people all find beautiful. Gary apologized to Benjy for not knowing that. He said that there apparently is some research on that stuff.
Benjy said that some people might think it's gross but maybe there's a scientific reason for the way they do things. Maybe they're just going to save the brain in the future and the head isn't needed.
Jon brought up Sal next and talked about the ''Never Eat Soggy Waffles'' when he was trying to figure out the north, south, east and west during the show. Jon said that's something that very young kids might use to figure out that kind of stuff.
Jon said Sal got in there and felt embarrassed but he stuck to the rap that he doesn't need to know it if he doesn't talk about it in his life. Gary said that's what Sal does all the time and it really does bother him that he doesn't know it but he doesn't do anything to fix it.
Jon said that you don't need to know the capital of California but you should know where it is on a map. That's just common knowledge. Jon said that a person shouldn't get a diploma if they don't know something like that.
Benjy said he likes knowing stuff like that but he doesn't think that Sal needs to know it. He said that the stuff that's important to you is what you need to know. He said that Sal doesn't need to know that stuff.
Jon asked Gary where Sal pointed when they asked him to point to California. Gary thought it was Arizona but Jon wasn't sure if it was even that close.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal may suffer from A.D.D. and that's why he can't learn this stuff. The caller said that he was like that and he suffers from A.D.D. The guy told the guys that Sal may not be able to learn that stuff because of it. Gary said he thinks that some of it is laziness but there may be something to A.D.D.
The caller said that Sal might be gifted in other areas even though he doesn't know that stuff. Gary said that he's brilliant at making phony phone calls so that's true. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about why Jay Leno is a disaster. Howard said that the local news on channel 4 there in New York, which comes on after Jay's show, is in fourth place behind the Spanish station. Howard said that WXTV is ahead of channel 4. Howard said he loves that. Robin said she didn't even know there was a Spanish channel.
Robin asked Howard where they were before Jay's show started. Howard said he thought channel 4 news was the leader. Robin thought it was doing well too.
Howard read some of the ratings details but he wasn't able to find out how good they were doing before. Jon Hein came in and said that they were number 1 for a while but then they were pretty much even with the rest of the stations. Jon said that they were at number 1 when Jay was doing the Tonight Show. Jon said they can't sell advertising this way.
Howard said he loves this and they should keep Jay on at 10. He said that at some point he hopes to see the Korean channel to beat NBC. Howard wants Jay to fail badly and he's loving all of this.
Robin said she was watching Jay's show and it looks like a bad cable TV show. Fred said he saw some of it too and it really does. Fred wasn't able to sleep. Robin told Howard about one of the bits they were doing and how lame they were. They do stuff on the show that they rip off from Howard's show too so Robin told him about that too. They have people who have to do things on the show to win the chance to get in their plugs.
Robin told Howard about some of the guests they had on the show and how bad Jay was at interviewing them. Howard asked how long it'll be before he starts booking chicks in bikinis. Robin said he should because that might make it more interesting.
Howard said he hates Jay and he loves watching him fail. Howard said he feels bad for Conan. He said he's a nice guy but he's getting his ass handed to him. Howard said he warned Conan not to make the move and he did it anyway. Howard said that Craig Ferguson is doing just fine now and beating Conan. Howard said if he was on at 12:30 himself, he wouldn't let any of these guys win.
Howard said that his wife is coming home this weekend. He took a phone call and the guy said that he was watching some of Jay's show and saw Wanda Sykes on. Jay made a reference to how he was doing so well that the other stations were letting their stars come on the show. Howard said that the other networks don't want to support Jay. He wondered what kind of mind even thinks about something like that.
Howard said Beth liked to hear that he beat off to those pictures. Robin said that it is a compliment. Howard said he did have to think about some other chicks to finish off though. He said his dog is home now too.
Howard said it was very windy last night and the dog was acting good. He said that it sounds like some sound effects that Fred was playing. He said the dog gets scared from the noise but she went to bed and didn't bother him the whole night. Howard said she was good and let him sleep.
Howard said he stresses out about everything. He said that he hasn't even had the dog home with him all this time. He was out in Vegas one week so he couldn't leave her there.
Howard said Bianca is going to be 8 years old in March. they don't live that long. He said the average age for an English bulldog is 8 so she could go at anytime. Howard said they can live to 13 or so and the way Beth cares for her she may just live that long.
Howard said he didn't even want to think about what's going to happen if the dog does die. Robin said they should start thinking about that. Howard said that dog is like their baby. Howard said he's thinking of freezing her head like Ted Williams.
Howard said that story yesterday from the guy who worked at the place where Ted Williams' head is frozen was weird. Howard said the thought of the tuna can frozen to Ted's head was weird. He said it would be funny if you bought a can of tuna and you find Ted Williams' head stuck to it.
Howard tried to read the article to find some of the details he wanted to talk about but he wasn't able to find it right away. Howard and Robin talked about some of the details of the story and how Dave had claimed that the cheating was over after he got married. Howard thought he read that the kissing session was pretty recent. Robin said that would mean that Dave's time line was wrong then.
Howard said that the one thing that makes Dave happy is now taken away from him. Howard said that Dave used to have two hot chicks walk him out onto stage and that's stopped. He asked Jon Hein if he stopped that before the scandal or after.
Jon came in and said that he hasn't done that in a long time but JD might know better. JD came in and said he doesn't know a definite date but it has been a while since he did that. JD said they used to come out with the big checks and stuff.
Gary told Howard that they played a clip from Dave's show on the news and they were mocking the name of his company ''Worldwide Pants'' by saying that they hope that Dave can keep his on.
Benjy found a quote on the internet where they talked about how Halderman found Dave and this chick making out at the end of his driveway in Dave's car. That apparently happened in August of this year. Howard told Benjy to read more of that. Benjy read that and it said that Dave's affair could have gone on long after he got married.
Howard wondered why Halderman waited to blackmail Dave for so long when he knew about this for so long. Robin thought it was because the girl just broke up with Halderman.
Howard said that Dave must have wanted to make things more exciting by making out in the car. Howard said that at least Dave was able to go to Connecticut to drop this chick off. Dave lives up there too. Howard said it wasn't out of his way to drop her off.
Howard said this chick doesn't look all that hot either. Howard said Dave must have been taking whatever he could get. Robin said that Dave is a whole other situation there and he is pursuing this woman and didn't want her going anywhere. He was asking her to be his personal attorney once she got her law degree.
Fred said it may have been a good cover because she's the last one you'd expect to be cheating with a guy. Howard said she's weird too because the two guys she was seeing were both in their 60s.
Gary said that the chick has been banned from the set. Howard let out an ''Aww'' when he heard that. Gary read that Stephanie Birkitt has been banned from the set. Howard said that's the one place she liked to be and now she's banned.
Howard said he gets why this guy got jealous. He had his wife leave him and then he had to see her making out with David Letterman at the end of his driveway. Robin said that this girl was with two married guys who were 30 years older than her. Robin said that really is odd.
Howard saw the picture of him with Reggie Jackson and Reggie was looking at him like he admired him. Howard said that it really did look like he loves him.
Howard said that they have a picture of Sal's tattoo up on his site and they had someone send in a suggestion for another tattoo of Richard fucking Sal in the ass. Howard said that's pretty funny.
Howard read an email about JD and how he claimed he went to a Metallica concert one time. The writer didn't believe that ever happened. The guy said that JD is too much of a pussy to have ever gone to one. Howard said that's not hard to believe. Howard said he doesn't think that JD would lie about something like that.
JD came in and said that his dad brought him and his brother in 1994 to that Metallica concert. He said that he's not just saying that to seem cool or anything. JD said that the concert kind of scared him because they started a mud fight there and it was right after Woodstock so he got stuck in the middle of all of that.
Howard said he didn't know that JD wasn't a concert guy. JD said he's been to a few but he doesn't really go very often. JD said he saw a band with Richard and his girlfriend but it was a band he really didn't like.
The caller asked Howard what he would do if he was a producer for the show to fix it. Howard said he would just move it to 11:30. Howard said Jay was probably in a good groove with the Tonight Show and now he has to work hard to try and make it happen all over again and it's just not working.
The caller asked Howard if he ever wanted to go out and do Conan to spite Jay. Howard said he doesn't want to do that.
Gary read the line up for some of Jay's shows for the rest of the week. The guests weren't all that great and Howard was laughing when he heard some of the guests. Bill Cosby is going to be on and Howard said that he's like death in an interview.
Howard said that this couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. He thanked Gary for the update which seemed to be making him feel better. Howard said Jay is a douche and he loves to see him fail.
Mariann said that she will call him when he's late if she wants her to. Artie said that would be good. He said he might give her his number so he can get up.
Howard said he was up at 11:15 last night. He was going to put in some ear plugs but Beth told him that he wouldn't hear the alarm clock. Howard said you get paranoid with the hours they have there.
Howard said he hears that Robin is out until like midnight every night. Robin said she was out until 10 the other night and it's hardly midnight. She said that she has gone a whole night without sleep before coming to work. She said that the hours they have are not normal so it's hard to stay on a schedule like they have. Robin said she just sleeps later in the day if she doesn't sleep at night.
Howard said he'd like to be able to do that stuff too. He said he can't do what Robin does. He told her she needs some rest once in a while. Fred threw in a clip of Robin saying ''I need a cock!'' while they were talking about that.
Howard heard that Robin has a new best friend. Robin said it must be Ross Zapin's wife Melissa. Howard said he's heard that she spends a lot of time with Artie's sister too. Robin said Stacy is very busy so she doesn't spend a lot of time with her. Robin said that she does go out with her once in a while but she also hangs out with Artie.
Artie said that his sister is always busy and she goes to Hong Kong for two weeks at a time sometimes. Artie said that she didn't quit her job but she did take a sabbatical from the job for a while. Howard said that she can't throw that job away. Artie said that's true and he wouldn't let her.
Robin said that she's not sure what the big deal is with her hanging out with Melissa. Howard said that they both have huge titties. He asked her who is bigger chested. Robin said she probably is.
Howard and Artie told Robin how good she's looking these days after losing the weight. Robin thanked them for that. Howard said she's been wearing some sexy outfits lately and looking really good.
The caller told Howard that he came in for a tour in August and he got to see and touch Robin's bra in the studio. He said he would have worn it as a hat around Manhattan if his wife wasn't with him.
The caller told Howard that some people are saying that Howard is coasting through the rest of his contract. Howard told the guy he's been coasting through his entire career. He said he actually thinks that they've been doing the best radio of his career there. Howard said that people get upset about his vacation but they get 10 weeks every year and that's what they negotiated there.
Howard said that he's been thinking about what he's going to do in a year and he's thinking about leaving the company. Howard said that he's thinking about doing maybe a 2 day a week show or something instead of leaving all together. The caller said he'd be fine with anything. Howard said that it would be better than retiring but he's kind of tired of the hours. Howard said he doesn't want to do it in the morning this early anymore. Howard said he'd like to do it at some other time of day.
Howard said the fans hate him for the vacation time so he thinks about what they'd do if he worked even less. Howard said he thinks that they're doing a really good job filling the channels with good stuff. Howard said they do get more vacation but it's making it a little more bearable after all these years. Howard said this is the reason he went to satellite so they could get some time off. Howard said he hears the fans talking about him coasting and that's unfair of them to say. He said he does put a lot of energy into the show.
Robin said that they don't remember the days when they worked all the holidays and only took off Christmas and a couple of other times. The caller said he remembers those days and how they didn't take off all that much time.
Robin said she remembers calling into the Labor Day telethon because they were on the air one time. Howard said he wants to get some balance in his life and have some kind of life.
Howard said that he got to spend time with his daughter when he was away last week and he needs to do more of that. He said he was out hiking with his daughter and he loved that. Howard said he
The caller also mentioned a benefit show Artie is doing out there in Detroit tomorrow night. Artie said that it's going to be a good thing and he's doing it for a guy who is paralyzed.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked if he's going to think about the guys who work with him and how they may not be able to stay with him. Howard said that he thinks about what's going to happen to JD and guys like that. He said that comes up all the time. Howard said he's not sure what JD is going to do when he retires.
Howard said he got a DVD of the Greg Giraldo concert and he was doing an impression of Stuttering John introducing him like Fred does.
Howard said that JD isn't going to be able to find a job when he leaves. He said that the only other person that would hire him is someone like Jimmy Kimmel. Gary said that JD is known as a Media Producer there. He said that JD wanted Howard to know that.
Gary told King of All Blacks that he calls in with this question every 2 months. Howard asked Gary what he's going to do when he retires. Gary said that he should be able to find something. He said that he might be able to find something in TV.
King asked Gary what he'd like to do. Gary said he'd love to do another 3 or 5 years there. Howard asked Gary why he was dressed up today. Gary said he had another meeting today. He said he goes out with the movie companies and stuff to talk about upcoming guests.
Howard said Gary had a white shirt on the other day and when he took his jacket off it looked like he was wearing a tent. The guys made fun of the way King would ask Gary what kind of suit he was wearing and how he would make fun of it coming from Men's Warehouse or something.
King said that it's a big deal to have a hand tailored suit. Howard said he got Gary that suit as a gift. Gary said he didn't think he looked that bad in the white shirt either.
King told Howard he hates when Jay is in the jean shirt and jeans on his show. Howard said that's Jay trying to fit in as a regular guy. King goofed on the way Jay introduces the news at the end of his show too. Howard said he had to move along after that so he could take a break.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a chicken restaurant confusing the guy with their order and then calling another restaurant making the one guy give their order to that place. Fred also played Yes' ''I've Seen All Good People'' as they were coming out of break.
Howard came back and said that hey had that guy Bill Keller on the channel. He's one of those ''birther'' guys now. Howard said he believes that Obama wasn't born in this country and he's trying to prove that he's not from this country.
Howard had Bill on the phone so he picked up on him and told him what his take was on this whole thing. Howard said that the President of the United States is for abortion and Bill is against that. Howard said that 42 percent of republicans are birthers because they want to get rid of Obama. Howard said that the Republicans are dwindling down and they'll do anything to keep it together.
Howard said that there are a couple of forms of birth certificates from Hawaii and they have proven that he was born in the United states. Howard said his mother is American and every news organization has looked at this birth certificate. The state has verified it and everyone else that has looked at it has said that it's legitimate. Howard said that no legitimate republican has become one of these birthers. He said that this Bill Keller guy is really behind it though.
Bill told Howard that for the record, Rachel Maddow did a piece on him and she refused to have him on her show. Bill said that he was asked to produce an infomercial that asked the simple question ''where was Obama born?''
Bill told Howard that he could get a copy of his birth certificate showing where he was born with every bit of information on it in a day. Howard said that's right and he has a copy of that. Bill said that Obama can get that document too but he has refused to issue it to anyone. He's even blocked all access to seeing that document. Bill said that no one has seen the document and all Obama has to do is produce it and prove it. He said he's spent over a million dollars in legal fees blocking people from seeing it.
Howard said that the document that Obama has shown is legal and there is no reason to show the full, long form document. Bill told him that no one has seen the long form document. Howard said it doesn't matter because the short form document is legal.
Howard told Bill that what he's claiming is that his parents would have had to have hatched this plan way back in 1961. Howard said that it doesn't make any sense. Bill said that they wanted him to be a US citizen. He's not sure why Obama isn't going to show the document. Howard said from what he understands he can't get that document. the short form he has is legitimate and he's not sure why people can't accept that.
Bill said that the White House has also put out two different hospitals and it's not clear where he was born. Howard said that he has seen a copy of the legal document that shows he was born in that state and that's that. Bill said that anyone can get that certificate of live birth and it proves nothing. Howard laughed at Bill over all of this.
Howard said Benjy believes this stuff too. Benjy said he's not sure if he was or wasn't but he finds it interesting. He said that he has read that the certificate of live birth was given to people that weren't born there in the state. Benjy said he's not sure why they would do that though.
Bill said that there are people trying to get information on this and other stuff about Obama and he's blocking it all. He said that he's not sure why he would block it if it wasn't a big deal.
Howard told Bill that he can accept that Obama is a U.S. citizen because they issued this certificate of live birth in Hawaii and it's an official document. He said that he believes that it's legitimate and he's willing to abide by that document. Howard said that they investigate every pimple on every guy's ass in this country and nothing has been proven about him not being a citizen.
Howard asked Jason what he thinks about all of this. Jason told Howard that Hawaii has said that you can't get a copy of the long form birth certificate. Bill said that's not true and they have people who have requested them and they have gotten them.
Jason said that he thinks that this is a whole line of nothing and no legitimate republican is saying anything about this. Jason said that Bill and a couple of other people are the only people going after this story. Jason asked Bill who else is going after this story. Bill mentioned an organization that's going after it and they're a conservative group.
Howard took some calls from some fans who wanted him to get this guy off the phone. Hanzi told Howard that this is all about him being black and that's what it's rally about.
Howard said that you can find out more about Bill at his web site LivePrayer.com.
Robin said that this government has said that he is a U.S. citizen and that's that. She's not sure what else Bill wants. Bill said he'd like to see the birth certificate.
The guys were talking about what makes a natural born citizen and there are some gray areas there. Bill said that some of the records could show things about him that they need to know and that's why he's blocking it all.
Another caller said that Obama could end up being accused of being an Alien and he'd have to defend himself on that too. The caller said he thinks that his was all started by Glenn Beck. Howard asked Bill what he thinks about Beck. Bill said he's an opportunist and he's just taking advantage of this situation.
Bill said that it could be over in 2 seconds if he just came out and showed the birth certificate. Robin said that Obama doesn't have to prove anything to him.
Another caller said that to be President both of the parents have to be natural born citizens in this country. Fred said that's not true and he was reading it online about how it's just the person running that has to be a citizen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bill should read the book ''End of Fate'' because it'll make his head spin. Howard said he wasn't sure what that was about but he thinks that Obama was born in this country and he's a citizen. Howard said that these dudes like Bill and a few others on the fringe are the ones trying to prove this wacky idea.
Howard asked Bill if there's some kind of fund raising going on for this cause. Bill said there is but they're doing this so they can get Obama to show his birth certificate. Once he does that then they're done.
Another caller told Howard that Bill was charged with insider trading a while back. Bill said that's true but he paid his debt to society and he's been serving the lord for the past 25 years. He and the caller went back and forth on that but Howard cut the caller off saying that they were getting off topic.
Gary asked Bill about getting into some trouble with his church about something else. Bill said that the IRS has been trying to shut him up about some stuff but he never gets involved in politics. He said that they're trying to take his exemption away and he's going to fight it as hard as he can.
Gary said that Bill can't tell anyone what to do as far as voting when they're a church. Bill said that he's never done that. He said that was the point of all of this. He said that he doesn't care what people do unless they're talking about religion. He said he pointed out that Mitt Romney was claiming that he was a Christian when he's really a Mormon and Mormons are not Christian in his opinion.
Howard gave Bill some more plugs and asked him if he is pro Israel. Bill said he is and he thinks that Obama is anti-Israel. Bill got in some more plugs for his web site and said that their main job is to help people and they will pray for them. Howard asked Bill if he wanted to lead them in prayer now. Bill did a little prayer for Howard and his fans.
Howard asked Bill if Jews will go to hell for not being baptized. bill said they'll go to hell for not accepting Jesus as their savior. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said they always have a good time with Bill on the phone. Robin said that she was reading that Chyna Phillips found god when Stephen Baldwin laid hands on her. Howard said he thought she was kind of normal until he heard that. They had to go to break after that.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news headlines. Lisa came in and said that they had a surprise 40th birthday party for Sal yesterday. Howard said he didn't go and he was livid about it. Howard said he was going to bring it up last week but it was a surprise party for Sal. Howard said Sal has this buddy who is a financial advisor and he called up Rick's Cabaret and told them that they wanted to throw a party for Sal. Howard said that this guy has also called Gary to ask him to show up and the party turns out to be no party at all.
Gary said he was out in Vegas one time and this guy called him to ask him to come by at Rick's. Gary said he showed up around 11 and Sal and his wife weren't there but this guy and his wife were. Gary said Sal didn't show up for 2 hours so he left. Then he found out that Sal had no intention of showing up at all.
Gary said that this guy tried to get a whole thing going by telling them that he was going to be there. Howard told Sal he wants this stopped immediately. Richard came in and said that he helped out too. Richard said that Lonnie has asked them to come over there if they ever want to do anything. Richard said he knows that Lonnie loves Howard and that's why he does it.
Howard asked Richard if he knows why they give them free stuff. Howard said it's because they want free stuff. Howard said that he doesn't want them using his name to get free parties. Howard said that when Sal doesn't even show up to something that they used his name for, that's not right.
Howard asked Sal what he did when this Vegas thing happened. Sal said that he and his wife didn't want to go. Howard told Sal he has to tell this guy to stop with this party thing. Sal said that he's a nice guy and he only had good intentions with this party.
Howard asked Sal why this guy didn't throw the party with his own money. Howard told him to fuck off and told Sal to get this friend of his in line.
Richard took some of the blame for this because he was helping out too. Howard told Richard that he isn't to have anymore free parties. Howard told them to stop using people. He said that Lonnie is a businessman and he should be paid.
Howard said he just found out about this two days ago and he didn't like it. Howard said Richard should know better.
Richard said he sent Howard the invitation a while ago. Howard said he didn't find out until someone there told him what was going on. Howard said Lonnie feels pressure to do this stuff and that's why he does it. Howard said that they shouldn't be taking advantage of this guy like that.
Howard told Sal that he has to stop this guy from taking advantage too. Howard said he might be a nice man but he has to put a lid on the free Rick's stuff. Howard wondered how he got to use the Howard Stern name to make a party happen. Sal said that he's mutual friends with him and Richard so that's how he did that.
The friend, Rich, called in and told Howard that he didn't get anything for free except for a club soda in Vegas. Gary said that's not true, they had all of their drinks comped out there in Vegas. Gary said they had a table of 20 waiting out there and that was set up for them too. Gary said that Lonnie had them cleared out for that. Rich denied that and said that Gary was wrong. Gary said that Lonnie thought they had a lot of people showing up out there. Rich said there weren't that many people in Vegas so that wasn't true.
Gary said that Sal told him that they had no intention of coming to that party. Rich said that wasn't true either and Sal told him that he was going to come out. Sal said he wasn't lying about this. He said that he told Rich that he and his wife weren't going to come and Rich took that as meaning he was thinking about coming.
Rich said that when he was out there he thought that Sal and his wife might come but he wasn't sure. He said there was a chance of it happening.
Howard told the guys that Lonnie is a friend of his and he would do anything for the show. He said that asking for anything free is cashing in on his relationship with the guy. Howard said that they helped put Scores on the map and they're doing that with Rick's too. He said he had to set Ronnie straight on this and now he's setting them straight on it too. Howard said they're taking advantage of his relationship with Lonnie and that's going to stop.
Rich said that he thought they were going to invoice him for the party and he was going to pay for it. He said he wasn't looking for anything free. Howard asked Richard if he thought they were going to charge. Richard said Lonnie never does so he didn't think he was going to.
Robin asked Richard why he thought this was okay. Richard said he did talk to Gary about it before it happened. Howard said that Gary is brainless and he's going to be fired. Richard said he trusted Gary's judgment on this. Gary said he didn't tell Richard this was okay. He didn't even remember the conversation. Howard said Richard should know that it's wrong to use Lonnie.
Howard asked Richard why he thinks that Lonnie wants to give him free stuff. Howard told him that it's because of him. He said that Richard should have come to him. Richard doesn't want to bother him with that kind of stuff. Richard said he told Gary he was sending out the invites to the party. Howard said Gary isn't that bright and he doesn't know any better. Howard said that Gary getting that Klemo award means nothing to him. He told Richard to stop with this stuff.
Howard asked Richard how they came up with the idea of Rick's. Sal said that they've done a lot of bits over there so Lonnie extended his hand to them. Howard said that Lonnie is a good guy and he doesn't want to take advantage of him. He said that's why he doesn't go to Rick's now.
Artie asked Richard if he ever planned on getting invoiced for the party. Richard said he never did. Artie said that was weird that Rich thought he was going to get invoiced but Richard didn't.
Howard said he didn't stop the party because it was going to be a surprise party. Howard said that he's not the police and these guys should be using their fucking heads. Howard told Richard to use his head. Richard said that Howard just told him to ask him when this comes up. Howard told him to use his head.
Ronnie came in and told Howard that he doesn't know this guy Rich but Richard told him that they wanted to throw a party for 30-40 people originally. Ronnie said that he told Richard how he almost got fired for doing something like that at Scores a few years ago. He told Richard to cut it down to like 15. Howard said that it should have been zero people.
Rich asked Ronnie what he does when he goes to Vegas and he gets free cars and stuff out there. Ronnie said he works for them out there and that's why he gets free cars. Ronnie was going off on Rich about that saying that he wasn't getting any free drivers out there. He said that Rick's sends a car for him because he's working for him.
Howard asked Rich why he's investigating his guys because he doesn't work for them. Rich said he was told by one of the drivers that Ronnie gets a free car. Ronnie figured that Rich got a free car too. Rich said that wasn't true.
Howard cut everyone off and told Sal to make his friends stop taking advantage of the show. He told Richard he should know better. He said that he owes Lonnie a favor now and he has to make sure he's taken care of. Howard said that he doesn't know this guy Rich so Sal has to set him straight. Howard said there is no more mentioning Howard to anyone.
Howard said he doesn't know Rich and Lonnie will do anything for anyone on the show. He said he's a good hearted guy and he gives them access to all of this stuff. Robin asked Sal if he enjoyed his party. Sal said he did and he thanked Howard for that.
The guys had some pictures of Sal at Rick's so Howard checked them out and saw that they had a big cake there too. Howard asked who bought the cake. Rich said that they told him that they would make the cake for them. Howard said that he's not sure why Rich got this all done by Lonnie when he has nothing to do with the show. Rich said that he knows he got it because Sal is connected with the show.
Howard asked Rich if he just said it was fine that they were going to make the cake. Rich said he didn't okay it. Howard cut him off and said that this stuff has to stop.
Rich said that they did spend money on lap dances there so it wasn't like they got everything for free. Howard said that it all has to stop.
Howard saw more pictures and saw Jason getting a pole dance. Artie saw that and asked what the hell was going on there.
Howard told Rich that he deletes invitations like he got for this party so he never even read it. He said he doesn't bother with nonsense like that. Howard said that guys like Fred would never ask for a free party like that at Rick's. Fred said that when they do throw parties they pay for it. He said he and Robin paid for a party for Howard one time and split the cost.
Richard said that he knows better now. Howard said that the problem is that they don't know. Rich told Howard that Howard TV doesn't know any better either because they were there. Sal said he gets it and thanked Howard for the party again.
Howard told Sal to tell him that ''Howard is a sucker.'' Sal said that's not what they think. Howard said that he wants them to say it to his face and say ''Howard's a fucking sucker.'' Sal said that someone threw him a party and he didn't even know about it. Richard said he didn't feel comfortable saying that. Howard told him to say it because he deserves it.
Howard told Richard to please say it. Richard finally said it to him. He said he doesn't think it but he did say it. Howard told Sal he's too much of a pussy to say it. Sal said that he's not going to say it. Richard told him to just get it over with. Sal finally said it but he didn't say it with meaning.
Howard told Rich to say it too. He didn't want to but he said it anyway. The guys thought that he said it the best so Howard was going to throw him a party at Rick's too.
Sal said that Howard set him straight on the financial problems and Rich is the guy who came over and helped him get everything straight. Richard said that he's really a great guy too. Rich then asked for a plug for his law firm. Howard said he's really not the sucker that he thinks he is. He didn't get in a plug.
Richard asked if he could say happy birthday to Sal. Howard told him to get out of there. He didn't want him to make a mockery of the whole thing.
Robin said that Richard really is a passive aggressive guy. She said that whole thing just proved it. Richard was trying to pass off the blame onto other people. Howard said that the guys on the show should pay for everything like Artie does. Artie doesn't do anything like this.
Howard asked Lisa if this was her first story or her last. Lisa said it was her first. Howard said that the news team really gets him riled up.
Lisa said they found out more about the Richard F. Klemo award that was mentioned yesterday. Lisa said they mentioned it while talking about Gary's award. Lisa said that they found some other winners and more about the award.
Lisa said that Mike Schiff is going with Ronnie to Miami and Ronnie says he doesn't care. Mike Gange is staying home to get well. Howard said he doesn't really care if Gange goes.
Lisa said that back in 1993 on this day is when Howard's book ''Private Parts'' was released. Howard said he wasted an entire summer writing that book. He said he's not going to do that again.
Howard told the caller that he knows he's a sucker and that's why he told them all to tell him that he was one. Howard said that he's going to do another year there and he's going to put up with this stuff. Howard said he no longer feels guilty for leaving now. He said that when he does leave he's not going to feel so bad.
Howard asked the caller if he wanted to play a game to win some money. The caller was up for it so Howard told him he was going to play the Amish Game. Howard said they went out and asked an Amish guy some questions about general stuff. The caller has to guess if the guy is going to answer correctly or not. Howard gave him one for free which was ''What does Dot Com refer to?'' and the Amish guy said ''computer address.''
Howard moved on to the rest of the game so here are the questions and answers from the Amish guy:
Howard came back and said he heard a crazy theory. He said that he's not going to say who said it through. Howard said that Jim Florentine is coming in and Robin used to date him. Howard said that the theory is that Robin and Jim never had sex and someone close to the two of them said that they didn't do it. Robin asked who was close to the two of them.
Howard asked Benjy what his theory was. Benjy said that was his theory and someone close to them told him something that made him believe that was the case.
Howard said he saw Jim and Robin out at dinner one time and they were holding hands at dinner. He said he's not sure Benjy's theory is right.
Howard had Jim come in after that. He said that Jim's show ''That Metal Show'' is cool and they show all of these old Metal guys still wearing their metal clothes after all these years. Jim talked about how cool some of the guys are to come on the show but they are still dressed up like they were 20 years ago.
Howard said that he can't believe that Jim let a piece of ass like Robin go. Howard said that once you start in with those titties and that sweet attitude... Howard had Robin stand up so Jim could see how good she was looking. Robin may have gotten dressed up for him today like she did the last time Jim was on.
Howard asked Jim if he ever thinks about Robin when he's masturbating. Jim said that she's definitely in the mix. He asked Robin if he's in her thoughts. Robin said no.
Fred was doing his Jim impression and said that there's a cucumber in Robin's refrigerator called ''Jim Junior.''
Howard said he understands why Jim broke up with Robin after she went off on him for missing Beth. Howard said that he couldn't date a woman who wouldn't miss him when he was away. Howard said that's pretty rough.
Howard said that Robin said that she wouldn't miss anyone when they go away. Robin said that she thought Jim was going to die when he went to Afghanistan. Howard asked Robin if she really didn't miss him. Robin said no to that too. Howard said that's insulting.
Howard said it's human to miss a person you love. Jim said that maybe she's saying it just for the air. Jim said he thinks that she missed him and she's just putting this on. Jim said that he missed Robin while he was away from her. Jim said that Robin wasn't all that crazy and he would know because he's dated some crazies before.
Howard said that Robin doesn't need to be such a hard ass. Jim said she's really not like that off the air. He said that it's her character that's the hard ass. Howard said that it must have been wild when they were together cumming everywhere. Fred joked that he was cumming on the cat which got a big laugh out of Jim.
Robin said that she doesn't want people to feel bad thinking that she's missing them so that's why she has this attitude. Howard told Robin to calm down over there. He told her to blossom into a woman and tell Jim that she loves him and misses him.
Howard said he heard that Jim and Robin still text and email each other. They said that is true. They don't do it every day. Jim said it's just a couple of times a month. Howard asked what they text about. Robin said that it has nothing to do with love.
Howard asked if Jim ever tells her he thinks about her soft skin. Fred said that he probably texts about being at the Stress Factory from the 15th to the 17th. Artie said that Robin texts ''443'' to Jim and that means ''Don't Miss You.''
Howard said he was telling his daughter about what Jim does with waiters at restaurants where he has them grind down two full pepper mills and then asks for more pepper before eating the whole thing. Howard said that his daughter heard this whole thing and thought that it was the greatest thing in the world.
Howard said that maybe Jim would like to date his daughter Debra. Jim said that she might have some daddy issues. Howard jokingly told Jim ''fuck you.''
Howard asked Jim if he thinks that Robin texts him because she misses him. Robin said that's not it. Howard asked if they ever sexted at all. Howard said he did that with Beth but he told her to erase it quickly. Howard said he had to take 3 pictures before he sent the one.
Jim said that he had a friend who took a picture of his penis that was pretty huge so he asked him for a picture of that to send to chicks. Jim said they used to take that picture and ask people if they had seen his friend around the bar. The people would tell him to get the fuck out of there.
Howard asked Robin if Jim could win him back. Robin said that's not going to happen. Jim said that the $800 bottle of wine thing would have to stop. Jim said that never really happened when they were going out though.
Howard said he heard that Jim is going to move to Los Angeles and start auditioning for TV shows and stuff. Jim said that's true. Howard asked Jim if Robin asked him to stay. Jim said that he'll be out there in the winter. He said that he just did a movie with Jenna Fischer and Chris O'Donnell. He said he had a love scene with Jenna.
Jim said that he plays a love interest for Jenna. Robin said she didn't know that. Jim didn't tell her about that.
Howard asked Jim if he misses Robin's tits. Jim said of course he does. He said that she has G's, who wouldn't miss that.
Howard asked Jim if he popped a rod while he was doing the sex scene with Jenna Fischer. Jim said that he was in a g-string and she was wearing like a sun dress thing. Jim said that he was in a half a g-string and it would have popped out of there if he had popped a rod.
Howard asked if Jenna broke up with her husband after doing that movie. Jim said she just got engaged, but not to him. Jim said that he can get an erection with Bob Levy in the room but he wasn't able to do that with Jenna Fischer in the room. Howard asked Jim if he got to feel her titties. Jim said there was some grabbing here and there. Jim said that she wasn't trying to grab him. He said it was tough to cover up his balls though. Artie asked if he asked the director to get Bob Levy in the room so he could get an erection. Jim just laughed.
Howard asked Jim if he thinks of Bob Levy to get an erection. Jim said that he has done that like 7 different times with Bob in the room.
Robin asked Jim what else he has coming up. Jim said he has a scene with James Caan. He said that he got the part because he knows the director. Jim said the part he got for the Jenna Fischer role was written with him in mind so the guy told him not to fuck it up.
Howard gave Jim some plugs for his show ''That Metal Show'' that's on VH1 on Saturday nights. Howard said that Jim has some dates around the country too and gave him some plugs for that. You can find out more about that at JimFlorentine.com. He's also doing a suicide charity walk and you can find out more about that at OutOfTheDarkness.org.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Robin still has the hots for Jim. Mariann just anted to say that and to say hi to Jim.
Howard said he knows that Robin and Jim had to have had sex. He said that he saw them out and they were holding hands. Jim said they had no choice because Howard and Beth were all over each other.
A caller said that it's bullshit to think that Robin doesn't miss Jim. She went out to some of his comedy gigs and she wouldn't do that if she didn't miss him.
Howard said that Robin is very romantic and she did go to some of the comedy gigs. Howard said he thinks that she wants love very badly and she loves to love. Howard said he's not sure what went down between them but that's none of his business. Howard said that Robin is very loving and with him as a boyfriend every orifice must have been open. Jim said that he did ask her to recreate the San Francisco scene.
Howard said that Robin is a hard ass on the air but off the air she has to be different. Jim said she was different off the air. Howard asked Jim how he felt when Robin said she took her cat to church. Jim said all he knows is that her cats cock blocked him all the time. They were always on the bed. He said they had big balls to lick.
Howard asked Jim about how hard it was to eat when they went out to eat. Jim said he thought it was going to be tough but it always turned out to be okay. He said there was never a problem. He said he can't take her to Quiznos but he was able to make it work.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin is still diggin' Jim. Robin said she thinks that Jim is great and she won't say a bad word about him. The caller said her reaction to Jim is funny. Robin said he's a good guy and they had good times together.
Another caller asked Jim if he broke up with Robin because she has a monster vagina. Jim said that wasn't it at all. Another guy asked if it's true that the ''blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.'' Jim said that he never had any problem with that. He said it was like fine wine.
Howard gave Jim some more plugs for his show and talked about some of the guests they have coming up. Howard gave him some more plugs for the comedy shows he had coming up too. He'll be at the Stress Factory next weekend like Fred mentioned earlier.
Howard talked about the great reviews that Jim's show gets. Jim said that he was shocked at how great the reviews were. He said that Linda Stasi gave them a 4 star review and he's never been on a show that got any stars. He said that it's usually -4 starts.
The guys showed Jim the video of Robin falling off her chair earlier this week. Jim got a laugh out of that. Howard wrapped up with Jim and told him he's glad that he's got a hit show, movies and stuff like that going. Howard said that Jim is moving to Los Angeles so he's happy for him about that too.
Howard said that Jim is busy fingering Jenna Fischer and stuff too. Jim said he just felt her up a little bit. He said he can't explain the scene that much because it would give away the movie.
Howard said that Jim is going to be in Atlanta tonight at the Laughing Skull. He gave him some plugs for that and for the Stress Factory gigs.
Robin said that Jim didn't friend her on Facebook. Jim said that he had a bunch of Robin Quivers on there and he wasn't sure which one was the right one. Howard said that's because she changes her age too.
Howard asked Jim why he rejected her on that. Jim said he just plugs his gigs on there so it's not that big of a deal. He said he didn't even know she was on Facebook.
Artie said that he's going to be in Detroit tonight while Jim is in Atlanta so they should call each other and simultaneously kill themselves.
Howard asked Jim if he gets any chicks at the comedy clubs. Jim said that he was out with David Alan Grier last week and he saw him rapping with a chick there. Jim said he's not getting a lot out on the road himself.
Howard told Jim to come see them regularly and they'll try to find out more about Robin. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the Stones song a little bit. Howard was making some noises and thought that there was no more annoying noise than that ''eee, eee, eee eeee eee eee'' sound he was making.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve came in and said that they have more on the Jay Leno debacle. He talked about the ratings drop for the local news shows. They're asking for NBC to move jay's show to 10:30 so they can get their news in at 10.
Howard asked Jon Hein what he thinks about that. Jon said he thinks that Jay will make it through the season. He said that NBC may be bought by Comcast too so that might end up in a reboot and them moving Jay's show back to 11:30 or something like that. Jon said that the local news isn't going to stand for those type of ratings.
Howard said that the local stations are going to get slammed with those ratings. He said that the local NBC station is behind a Spanish station now. Steve said that they were doing a 2.8 while the other stations were doing 5.4 ratings. He said that's like half of what they were getting.
Steve said that they also have a story about Captain Janks. The bar owner who paid $1000 up front for an appearance got reimbursed for his appearance fee.
Steve said that Joey Boots was taken in by Shuli and his pregnant wife a few weeks back. He said that Joey has stayed clean and sober while all of this has been going on.
Steve said that Jon Hein has a new Facebook page for Jon Hein Fans. Howard said he's going to sign up for that. Howard asked if Jon is going to sell out to TV guide again with that new Facebook page. Jon said that one can only hope.
Jon ran down his list of Wrap Up Show subjects for today's show. That led to Howard asking if it was true that Richard was out in the hall crying after he lectured them. Howard told Richard to get back in there and tell him if he's crying over that stuff. Richard said that he and Sal were talking and he did get emotional. He said that he doesn't want to bum Howard out. Richard said it's embarrassing so he doesn't want to do it in the studio.
Richard was tearing up again as he was telling Howard this stuff. Fred threw in an Iron Sheik ''Fuckin' Faggot!'' clip while he was breaking down. Richard said that he's upset with himself for doing something so stupid. Howard said he feels bad because he's making him feel bad. Howard had to tell Jason to stop taking pictures of him too. He said that wasn't helping.
Richard said that he's upset that Howard is upset with him. He said he loves being there and he hates upsetting him like that. He said he's pissed at himself for screwing up. Howard told him he's not going to fire him or anything. He told him to stop crying and get over it.
Howard said he feels bad that Richard is crying. Artie said it shows that he has a heart. Howard said he doesn't want to see him crying because it upsets him. Richard said he didn't have to have him in the studio then. Howard said he wanted to find out why he was crying. Howard told him to just put it behind him.
Howard told Richard to get out of there. Robin said he had tears running down his cheeks. Fred played a baby crying clip after that. He also played the ''You can act like a man!'' audio clip. Fred threw in Sal, Richard and Rich's ''Howard you're a sucker'' clips too.
Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview which led to Howard talking about Robin and Jim for a few minutes. He said that they were really hugging like there were sparks flying. He said there were so many sparks flying that Gary's teeth caught on fire.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he wanted to congratulate him on another great week. Howard thanked him for that. Robin asked when they're going to be able to congratulate Jeff on a great week. Jeff said he didn't know. Robin said she'd like to do that some day. Artie did an impression of Jeff congratulating himself on an awful week.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he wanted to tell him that he should capitalize on the Jay Leno thing if he and Dave got together with him. The caller had no idea he was on the air. Howard told the guy he would tell him and hung up on the guy.
Robin read a story about Michael Vick getting a TV show deal. Howard said that BET gave him the show. Robin said it's a reality show that's going to spotlight his comeback with the Eagles. Howard said that they're going to make everyone feel bad for the guy in the show. Robin said that people are saying that they shouldn't make him a role model after what he did. Howard said he can't really say anything about that because he just ate a turkey.
Ass Napkin Ed called in and wished Artie a Happy Birthday. It's not until the 11th though. Ed asked if he could go on stage when he's in Rochester. Artie said he'd love that. Ed asked if he could get paid for it. Ed said that he has a few guys he wants to bring with him too. Artie said that Ed is going to go out and wave for 3 seconds. Ed said he has some material now so he can go up there and do his thing. He said that Neil Berliner wrote him some stuff.
Howard asked Ed to read some of his jokes to them. Ed asked Howard if he's mad at him because he hasn't been picking up on him. Howard said he has a ton of people he doesn't pick up on. Ed told a joke about Artie losing weight after asking him to provide the napkins when he eats.
Howard said that Ed sells back stage passes to Artie's show and then never brings the people back stage. Artie said that the people he did that to found him and he felt bad so he brought them back stage.
Ed read another joke he got from Neil. It may have been his delivery but the jokes weren't going over very well. Ed was also asking Artie for a couple hundred bucks for the appearance. Artie told him to just show up and he'll let them come in.
Howard let Ed go and took another call from a guy whose phone was making all kinds of noise. Howard said you know they're on the right track when you hear all of those noises. Howard waited for the guy to pick up but he never did.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Fred about the Rolling Stones song he had played earlier. He said that he had never heard that version of it before. Fred said it was just the album version.
Robin asked Howard if he watched any baseball last night. Howard said he jerked off and went to bed and then got up at around 11. He said he wasn't sure what order that was in but he does know that he jerked off at some point last night.
Robin read some news about the Yankee game last night and how that went. They ended up talking sports for a few minutes during that story.
Robin said that the culture minister over there had written about having sex with young boys in an autobiography back in 2005. She said that might be why they've been nice to Roman Polanski.
Robin asked Howard to guess how many Muslims there are in this world. Howard thought about it after yawning a bit. Howard said maybe a billion. Robin said that there are 1.57 billion Muslims in the world. Howard said that's a popular religion. Robin said that's 1 in every 4 in the world. Howard guessed that there were 2 billion Christians in the world. Robin said that there are 2.2 billion. She thought he had read the story. Howard said he finally found something he's good at. He said guessing religions is the one thing. Robin said the most Muslims are in India.
Fred played some music that Howard snag to as a Muslim. Howard sang about them hating the Jews and things like that. He sang for a few minutes going on and on about them hating the Jews. He said he's going to work on a whole musical about that.
Howard said that imbecile Imus is right across the street from them now. Howard said he can't get away from that fuckin' guy. Howard said he is going to leave SIRIUS just so he can get away from that guy. He said he's like the herpes of his life and he just can't get away from him. Howard said Imus did say he likes him when he was on Larry King the other night.
Howard said he's glad that Robin brought up the Muslim stuff. He said there are a lot of good ones out there but the whole thing is ruined by the few radicals out there.
Robin said that Levi Johnston is going to be buffing up so he can pose for Playgirl. Robin said he must be looking for the big pay day. Howard said that he's doing very well with all of that.
Robin read about a Richard Pryor movie being made. Howard said he heard that Eddie Murphy was supposed to play that part but they didn't work that out. Marlon Wayans is going to be playing Pryor instead.
A caller told Howard his song earlier was great and he should work that in with Vinnie Favale's song. Howard said he can imagine what that play would be like. He said there would be a lot of blowing up of stuff. Howard said that it might be called Unhappy Hanukkah.
Robin read about Naomi Watts being one of the biggest draws to movies these days. Howard said that Kate Beckinsale is hot too. Robin said that Naomi gives the best bang for the buck according to this story she was reading. Robin said that high priced actresses like Angelina Jolie don't give as much of a return. Howard said that you can put Angelina in a shit movie and she'll still get people to watch because guys just want to look at her.
Robin read that Christie Brinkley and Peter Cooke are still fighting a year after their divorce. They're both trying to get each other thrown in jail. They're fighting over the kids. One of the kids was supposed to go to Egypt on a school trip and they ended up screwing that up.
Robin said that an Iranian nuclear scientist disappeared and Iran is thinking that we kidnapped him to keep them from developing a weapon. Howard said that they don't need a weapon like that over there. Howard said that sounds like it might threaten out way of life.
Robin said that the healthiest place to live in the United States is in Vermont. Howard had guessed Massachusetts. Robin said that Massachusetts is right up there in the top 10. Robin said that the deep south is the most unhealthy.
Robin read a story about some doctors who are bringing a suit asking if it's really illegal to help people die when they're suffering from terminal illnesses. Howard said he's all for that and they should do it for people like they do for animals. Howard said he thinks we're a little archaic in our thinking that a person has to stay alive at all costs. Howard said he wants to stay alive at all costs but if someone wants to die then they should be allowed to go out peacefully.
Robin read a story about a report on the war in Afghanistan that was just given to the President. They want to keep a lid on the details of the report until the President reads it. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin also had an update on a car bomb in Afghanistan that went off at an embassy over there.
Robin read about Barbra Streissand releasing a new album and coming out at number 1. Howard asked her to explain that to him. Robin said that she's got a lot of fans out there. Howard said he doesn't get that at all. Howard said he hopes that Mariah Carey doesn't flip out when she finds out she's not number 1. He said that she has been known to do that before. Fred played some clips of Benjy freaking out as Mariah's freak out sounds.
Robin said that there is some new John Denver video coming out on DVD. She wondered if there are any fans out there who actually want to see that. Howard said there must be some.
Robin read some news about Michael Jackson's death and the doctor who was treating him. Robin had a story about a new movie that's coming out. She played some audio of one of the guys in the movie talking about working with Jamie Foxx. Howard didn't let that play for long.
Howard said he has a bunch of movies to watch this weekend. He has a new Superman and Batman cartoon to watch. He said he has another one that JD and Richie Wilson let him borrow. Howard said he was going to watch them on the plane back from Las Vegas but it was too embarrassing. Robin said he was on his own plane. Howard said that there was a stewardess and the pilots.
Howard said that he has the new Green Lantern cartoon to watch too. Jason told Howard that the Superman and Batman cartoon is great. He said it's all fighting and it's awesome. He said he liked the Green Lantern stuff too.
The guys checked out some pictures of Jason at Rick's Cabaret before they ended the show. Howard said that Jason was on the pole in one picture. Jason said that the girl there called him up to go on the pole and he went up. He said that her name was Fantasy and she was hot.
Artie said that he likes the strippers who find one nice thing about you and tell you that. He said one chick looked at him and told him he had a nice voice. Howard asked why they can't see this Fantasy's face. Jason said that she asked them not to show her face. Howard wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:25am.
Gary said that this was very similar to the fights they play on the Fight Week specials. Gary said Howard once played Nirvana's ''Rape Me'' while yelling at Stuttering John to rape him right there in the studio. Gary said he's pretty sure that they got the point today after Howard went off on them.
Benjy heard that some of the guys may not have wanted to go to the party because they knew it was going to be trouble. He didn't want to say who that was that told him.
Teddy said that he was at the party and he stayed for about 5 minutes. He said that he took a picture of Jason on the stripper pole. He said he's not the one to take pictures of that usually but he did take that one. He said he's not taking incriminating pictures of guys getting dances or anything.
Jon asked if Sal did anything wrong under those circumstances. He said that it was Sal's financial advisor that took advantage. Gary said that Sal didn't do anything wrong but he had to let his friend know that he did wrong so Howard went off on him.
Jon said that Gary even got roped into that whole thing. Gary said that's because he knew about the party and didn't do anything about it. Gary said that Howard knew about the party too and he didn't even do anything about it.
Benjy asked if it was wrong that Richard asked him about the party. Gary said he didn't know enough about it to get involved in it. He said he doesn't want to be in charge of that kind of stuff so he doesn't want him to ask him. He said that Richard should just know not to do it.
Gary said there have been times when he's wanted to cry. He said that Richard really has to man up and accept what he took today. He said that Richard kept saying ''but this, but that'' during the conversation and he can't do that.
Gary said that Howard used to beat the crap out of him in the past and Howard would feel bad about it afterward. He said that shit happens and you just have to get over it. Gary said that happens in every relationship. He said you figure out how to avoid that and just move on.
Gary said that Sal may have been upset that he took the blame for this party when he didn't know anything about it. Benjy said that Rich might be the most innocent one there. He said that he didn't know that he shouldn't do anything in their names. Gary said he should be the one that shouldn't be doing anything in their names.
Jon took some calls and some guys asked about the party. One guy said that Richard cries too much to be in a heavy metal band. He said that Richard is like a child. The guy said that Richard should just learn and know that he can't do this kind of stuff.
Gary said he doesn't think that Richard's dad was a yeller so when someone yells at you then it might come as a shock. Gary said that Richard is also the guy who cried when he found out that ''King of the Hill'' was canceled.
Benjy said that this may have been bad judgment but it's not like they were trying to get away with something. Jon said he agrees with that and that it was just a surprise party for their buddy.
Benjy said that he would know better than to throw a party at Rick's. He said that he knows that they love to have them there though and they do get treated really well.
Gary said they went out to Vegas years ago and they were out scouting locations trying to find a spot to shoot the TV show from. He said that Dan Aykroyd showed up and told them that they were going to comp their drinks at the House of Blues. He said that one guy asked for a bottle of Kristal and Gary stood up and said ''No!'' as soon as he heard that. Gary said that you never take advantage of anything like that when you're offered something for free.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he was being honest about that guy Rich saying that Sal was texting him out in Vegas saying he was going to show up. Gary said that it did bother him. Gary said Sal knew that he wasn't going to be there and he wasn't being clear on that today on the show. Gary said that kind of pissed him off too.
Gary said that he's not sure why he was brought to the club out in Vegas with Rich. He said that it may have gotten Rich more stuff than he would have gotten if he didn't show up.
The caller asked the guys about the time that Ralph stole money from the table out in Vegas and Artie witnessed it. Gary said that he really trusts Ralph and he's not sure that happened. Jon said that it could have happened but he's not sure he believes it. He said that he trusts Ralph 100 percent.
The caller was saying that it seems like Howard is getting uptight with the racist talk and stuff on the show. He said that it's like he's trying to get away from that stuff now. He also asked why Howard is letting his wife write a book.
Gary said that people evolve and maybe the N-word was acceptable to use in the 80s but Howard is uncomfortable with it now. He said that he's not looking to be accepted by the main stream because he may be leaving radio in a year.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Howard needs to start suspending people on the show and lay the hammer down a little bit. Jon said that Sal and Richard were hurting today and they are upset. He thinks that they know where Howard is coming from on all of that.
Jon said the highlight of the segment was where Howard had the guys tell him he was a sucker. He had Teddy play the audio of that segment.
Jon said that drop will live on forever. Gary said that Richard was great when he told Sal to ''just get it over with'' when Sal was refusing to say it to Howard. Gary said that Sal was more resistant to it than Richard was. Once Richard said it then Sal felt more comfortable saying it.
Jon had Rich the financial advisor on the phone. Rich said that Benjy has been kind of understanding in this. He said he appreciates that. Rich said that he wasn't leading Gary down a path he wasn't going down out in Vegas.
Gary said that Sal told him that he was being a pussy on the air with him earlier. Gary said he feels like crap after what Sal told him earlier about what Rich was doing out there in Vegas. Rich said that there is no reason for him to lie to him about Sal showing up that night. He said that it wasn't like he was just trying to spend time with him.
Rich said he thinks that Sal thought that he had communicated to him that he wasn't going to show up. He said that it wasn't that clear to him. Rich said that this is putting him in an awkward position so he should just stop now.
Rich said that there are two sides to every story and he's not lying to him about what he said. He said that there may have been some miscommunication there about the whole thing. He said maybe Sal was trying to talk his wife into going to the club that night and maybe it didn't work out.
Jon said that they're not getting anywhere with this. He said that he wanted to ask Rich about wanting to be invoiced for the party. Rich said that he has been to Rick's before and they have been thrown a couple of drinks or maybe an appetizer. He said that it's never completely free though so he did expect something from the party. He said that he didn't check into it to see how much it would cost though. He figured it would be $200-$300 a head. He said that he wasn't looking for a completely free party.
Gary said no one invoices anyone these days. Rich said he thought he would be charged in some way. He said that didn't happen though.
Jon asked Rich how long he's been a fan. Rich said it's been maybe 10 years. Jon asked Rich if he anticipated that they might be going down the wrong road when they do something like this. Rich said that about a month and a half before they designed an invitation and they figured that someone would say something ahead of time. Benjy asked if they thought about that before sending the invitation out. Rich said he didn't have that thought consciously but now that he's thinking about it then maybe they were checking it out subconsciously.
Sal came in and Jon asked Sal if he's enjoying his birthday. Sal said it's been just great. Gary said it's also Jim Florentine's birthday and Shuli's birthday today.
Sal said he loves Rich and he loves Gary but everything he's said is completely true. He said that Rich didn't go into that whole thing to rope Gary in. He said that Rich suggested going to Rick's and for two and a half days he worked on his wife trying to get her to go to the club. He said on the third day he let Rich know that he wasn't going to make it. He said that he told him it wasn't going to happen. He told Rich that if he wanted to go then that was fine.
Rich said that it wasn't 3 days because he didn't get there until a Thursday night and the Rick's thing was going to be on Friday. He was going through all of that when Gary cut him off and said that he should have known that Sal wasn't going to be there and he shouldn't have told him that Sal was going to be there.
Rich said that he wasn't sure that Sal wasn't going to be there. He said he didn't sense the firmness from him that they weren't coming.
Gary said that it seemed to him that Rich thought that Sal was on his way to dinner so that's why he stuck around so long. Sal said that he told Rich that it didn't look like he was going to make it. Gary said he thought he was there for Sal's 40th birthday party and Sal never showed up.
Sal said that they're all telling the truth and there must have just been a misunderstanding. Gary said that Sal waffled down the middle on all of this and he wasn't being clear.
Jon asked Rich one more question before letting him go. He asked Rich if he thinks he did anything wrong. Rich hesitated and then said he didn't. He said he never seeks to take advantage of anyone's generosity and that's not what he was trying to do with the party. Rich said he would rather pay out of pocket than risk his friends losing their job.
Jon asked Rich if he thinks Howard overreacted. Rich said that they got good radio out of the whole thing and maybe Howard did overreact but everyone wins. Sal said that he loses though.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Rich did anything wrong. Gary said he thinks that he should take some responsibility. He said that when you act on the behalf of someone you're working for and using their name to get benefits you have to think about what the ramifications would be.
Jon said it sounds like no one is taking responsibility for this at all. Sal was in the middle of it because he didn't know about the party until it happened.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Richard Christy has to take responsibility for what he did because he should know better.
Benjy said that Richard is probably the most responsible for what happened. He said that he's not sure that it was that wrong but Richard is the one who should be taking blame even though he did ask Gary about it. Gary said it's not his job to say no to him though. He doesn't get involved in all of his nonsense.
Sal said that he learned today that he can't use Howard's name in any way. He also said that he should check with Gary on this stuff. Gary said that he can't be the daddy there. He doesn't want to be that person.
Gary said that he had to ask Howard if he could go ask Howard if it was okay to call to get Sal's kids into this KISS thing. Sal said he felt bad because he lost out on the KISS thing for his kids when KISS didn't show up.
Gary asked who showed up to Sal's party. Richard, Jason, Rich, Lonnie, Tracey Millman, Justin, Brian Phelan and others were there. Sal said he didn't expect it at all and he thought he was just going out to a bar before going to Rick's. He said he thought it was just going to be the bar but Richard surprised him with that Rick's party.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Rich isn't someone who works for the show, he's a fisherman. He said that Rich cast the line out there and came in to fix Sal's problem and he's getting closer and closer to the show now. He said that's what he's really looking for.
The guy said that he loved the line that Richard said about not knowing there was going to be a cake at the party. The caller said that even he knew that there would be a cake. The guy said that Sal and Richard are great on the show too. The guy said that he doesn't think this guy Rich is a real friend to Sal and Richard though. The guy was also saying how great the show is and how it's the best show in the world.
Sal thanked the guy for the call and said that he did develop a friendship with Rich and fuck ups do happen. He said that he walks on eggshells and he never wants to upset anyone. He said that Rich is a friend though. Sal said that the guy is a helpful guy and there's nothing wrong with that. He said it's like Howard and Dominic Barbara's relationship. Gary told him to look at how that's going now and Sal shut right up.
Another caller said that it's really annoying to hear Ass Napkin Ed call into the show asking Artie for money and Artie giving in to him. Gary said that Artie is a softie and they were going to do a hidden camera thing where they were going to ask Artie to loan him some money to help out with some medical bills. Gary said that he thinks that Artie would loan him just about anything.
Jon took a call from Wheels who was saying it gets old when Howard yells and screams and doesn't do anything about it. Wheels asked Sal if he would throw a party for Richard at Rick's. Sal said that he wouldn't now but he would in the past.
Gary said that firing these guys over this would be ridiculous. He asked Wheels what they should do. Wheels said that they should give Richard a week off of work. Gary said that would hurt the show though. Wheels said that doing this stuff was creepy. He said his friend Rich was creepy too. Sal said that there are a lot of details they left out that they don't know.
Sal said that when someone throws him a party it's like the nicest thing in the world. He said that when Howard tells him ''fuck you'' on his 40th birthday party, he's going to remember that forever. He said that he sees Howard's point now and he knows that they didn't go in there to take advantage of anything. Sal said he didn't see anything wrong with what Rich did until Howard pointed it out to him today.
Sal said that Richard is feeling better now but he was hurt earlier. He said that Richard got yelled at on the air and it was like someone taking a brand new toy and smashing it on the floor. He said that it was wrong that they did the party but he feels bad for Richard taking the abuse today.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that it sounds like Howard is banning them from going to Rick's at all. Gary said that's not the case. He said that Howard is okay with them going there and maybe getting a round of drinks for free from Lonnie. He said that he might be upset with that but there might be a fine line there that they're walking.
The woman asked why Rich was the one who called about the party. Sal said that he's a mutual friend of his and Richard's so that's why he was involved.
The woman told Sal that he has to remember that he paid Rich to help him out. Sal said he didn't pay Rich but he has been compensated for helping them with other stuff. She asked Sal if he thought it was odd that he asked for a plug this morning. Sal thought he was joking about that. Gary didn't think he was joking. some of the other guys agreed with Gary.
The woman asked why Richard got into so much trouble when he wasn't the one making the calls. Gary said that Richard was an insider and he was the one who should have known better.
Richard showed up so Jon asked him how he was doing. Richard said he did get cheered up when he was walking down because he saw Jim Gillette in the studio next to them. Lita Ford was also in the studio. Gary said he thought that was Mary Jo Buttafuoco. Gary said he loves Mary Jo but she's got 10 years on Lita Ford.
Gary said that they're doing this movie ''Runaways'' and Lita is upset that they're making it and didn't get her permission to do it. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that before moving on.
Richard talked about how he used to whack it to Lita Ford when he was growing up. Jon wasn't sure how they got onto that subject. Gary said it's partially due to the fact that they have a 90 minute Wrap Up Show today.
Jon asked Richard about how he was passing out the invitations to everyone. Richard took responsibility for that and he doesn't think things through all the time. Richard said that it was a collaboration between him and Rich and he feels really bad that Rich and Sal are taking so much of this. He's really sorry for what he did.
Richard said the last time he got in trouble was the time he faked his arm wound infection. He said that he'll never do that again. Richard said sometimes he screws up. He thought it would be nice for Sal and this ended up being a screw up. Richard said that at Rick's it's always extra special so that's why they did it there.
Benjy told Richard that he did ask Gary if it was okay. Gary said that he told Richard he didn't want to get involved in it. Richard said he did ask because he thought that it might be a problem. He said he goes to people like Gary and Tim because it does affect his job.
Gary said that he thinks that Richard doe that because he doesn't want to take responsibility. Richard said he is taking responsibility. Gary said that he did try to blame him today. Gary told Richard that he was telling Howard that he asked him about it and he was trying to lay the blame on him. Richard said he's really not trying to do that though. He said he did think about checking on it and he didn't go about it blindly.
A caller told Richard he's a retard and if he wants to do something nice then he should take some money out of his pocket and use that instead. Richard said that he did spend money on Sal. Richard said he tipped the bartender, the waitress and he got him a nice attaché case. Sal said that it's a really nice case. Richard said he didn't use any connections for that.
Sal said that he doesn't think that Richard was deliberately trying to get a freebie on this. Richard said that they never do and they go out to lunch and pay for it all the time. Richard said that if they wanted to get free stuff they'd be at Rick's all the time.
The caller went off on the two of them and said that Richard is a fuckin' moron and he should go cry over some more cartoons that got canceled.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he was going to defend Sal a little bit. He said he met Sal a few years ago and he was very nice to him and his wife. Sal hasn't become an asshole from being a big star. The guy said he thinks that Sal is still trying to handle the position he's in. The guy said that they should give Sal and Richard a break though. He said that the guy Rich may have been trying to take advantage of them.
Sal said that he doesn't like to upset people and he has a hard time saying no to people. Sal said that he doesn't think that Rich is trying to take advantage of him. He said that there are people who do try to do that but he ends up cutting the cord when that happens.
Richard said that he does cry and it's embarrassing. He apologized for that but Gary told him he doesn't have to apologize.
Sal asked Jon when he last cried. Jon said he may have when a relative died or something but he has cried. Gary said that he has cried in the last year and thanked Fred for playing that song that makes him cry. Jon had to go to break after that.
Jon said that they did talk about how Jim and Robin were going to break up eventually and it was going to be weird. That's exactly what happened. Gary said that they did work things out over time and he feels bad for Jim now that he heard Robin say that she would only date him again if they were the last two people on earth.
Jon played a clip from the interview where Howard was asking Jim if he thought he made a mistake breaking up with Robin.
Jon said that Robin talked about how she didn't think she was getting the ''real'' Jim Florentine when they were dating. Gary said that it was odd when they were dating because Jim wasn't the usual Jim Florentine.
Gary said that Jim told a great story about banging a chick in the bathroom stall and banging his head on the wall. He said that was gone when Robin was around him.
Shuli came in and said that Jim was a different guy when he was with Robin. He said that he told Jim that it wasn't going to work out if he had to change that much to be with her.
Gary talked about the Meet the Creeps video that Jim did with KC and Don Jamieson. He said they were checking out a nice condo and Jim went in and took a shit in the bathroom while they were doing it and he was on the bowl asking questions about the place with the real estate agent.
Benjy said he heard that Jim and Robin didn't have sex while they were dating. Gary said that maybe it was early on in the relationship. Benjy said he's not sure what the truth is and he wouldn't be shocked to find out they never had sex. He said he doesn't think that it was hot and heavy if they did.
Benjy wasn't saying who he got this information from but the guys were guessing it might be Ivy Supersonic or someone like that. Benjy said it wasn't her.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Robin is never with anyone because she can't find someone to live up to what Howard is and if she's pining away for him. Gary said he doesn't think that's the case. He said that she was with Mr. X for like 7 years. Gary said maybe there is something to what the caller is saying though.
Benjy asked Gary if he ever thought that Howard and Robin were a couple. Gary said that he was around them enough that he knows that there was nothing going on. He said it would be great to find out in 20 years that there was something going on though.
Sal said that there's no reason that Robin wouldn't fuck Jim. He said that women are willing to suck a toothless plumber's cock 5 minutes after meeting them. He said there's no reason that Robin wouldn't fuck Jim. He said that dinner and a movie is a gateway to the puss.
Sal said that the gate has been shut on him. Now there's a lot of rust and chains on that gate but he did get it years ago. Sal asked who doesn't want to fuck? He said that Robin and Jim had to have been doing it. Sal said he's not sure why they're even questioning this. Jon said that it was Benjy saying that they weren't having sex that's bringing it up.
Sal said he's going to believe whatever Jim and Robin tell them but he believes that they were having sex. Jon said that there's nothing wrong with that. He asked Sal if he got to screw chicks by just buying them a bottle of booze and taking her out to a movie. Sal said that you provide a service and you get a service back. That's what it all comes down to.
Sal said that you want to go to town on a chick and there's nothing wrong with that at all. He said that after taking a chick out to dinner then you want to pin her legs behind her ears. Shuli asked if Jim had acted normally if the relationship would have lasted. some of the guys thought it would have. They had to end the show as short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:25am.