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Howard started off the show saying that Robin was all smiles this morning after he had just done an odd voice. She said that it was the voice that was making her smile. Howard did a little more of that phony DJ voice and then thanked Jay Thomas for sitting in on Friday morning on Howard 101. He said that Jay was interviewing the singing Psychic and she was saying that he's going to have a baby.
Howard said he was talking to Tim about Jay's show and he said that it's funny how Jay found a new spin on that singing psychic, he actually believes what she says. He said he left Jay a message the other day and he didn't hear back from him. He figured he would since people seem to be so excited to get calls from him. Artie said that it is pretty exciting.
Artie talked about how he's still far from being so heavy that they have to lift him with a forklift. That led to Howard talking about that guy Michael Hebranco who was pretty huge. He had to be taken to the hospital on a forklift.
Howard played a clip from a show where they talked about Michael Hebranco who thought he might have cancer but he didn't fit into the machines that they had there to check him. He was 533 pounds at that time. They had to take him to a zoo to take images of him since he was too big for the hospital. The report was actually from a reality show.
Howard said he's been watching these reality shows lately and it's like these people get other people to take care of them like they're babies. He said that's what this Michael Hebranco seems to be doing now with this show.
Howard had another clip from that reality show where they talked about a guy who weighed almost 780 pounds. The guy doesn't think that it's a problem. He was described as having a 5 foot waist line. The guy said that he doesn't eat as much as the rest of his family so he's not sure why he's so fat.
Howard had a laugh over the fact that the guy claims he doesn't eat as much as his daughter. Howard said that guy weighs as much as 2.6 Arties. He said that he was rounding up Artie's weight since he did weigh in at 295 pounds the other day.
JD came in and said that they had to build a special wheelchair for that guy because he was so big. They already had bigger ones but he was so big they had to make a new one. There was another guy who had a leg that got all blown up because he had some kind of clog or something. Howard played the clip where they talked about that guy.
In the clip they talked about the deformed leg and how it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. That led to Artie talking about a guy who had something similar on a show where this guy blew up like Popeye. Howard played more of the clip and they talk about how they can't operate on this guy because of his weight. He won't stop eating and he's gained 30 pounds in the past 6 months. They talk about his girlfriend smuggling food into this treatment center that he's at.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he feels bad for JD and wonders if he's even capable of having a girlfriend. Howard said he heard Robin on the Wrap Up Show last week feeling bad for JD. The caller said that in high school he never believed that anyone liked him and maybe JD has a touch of that. He said he eventually got a girl though.
Howard played some audio of JD and Robin talking on the Wrap Up Show last week. JD was talking about Jared and how they don't get along. Robin came in and said that she loves JD and doesn't like seeing him feeling bad the way he does. She told him that she hopes that he's okay.
Howard said that Robin giving him pity can be even worse than what he's got going on in his life. He played more of the audio where JD is explaining why he doesn't like Jared. Robin said that they used to be friends though and there had to be a turning point but JD can't get that out.
In the audio clip JD was explaining why he wasn't friends with Jared anymore and his explanation didn't make a lot of sense to Robin. She was laughing at the clip while it played. Artie asked JD what it was that made him not like Jared but JD couldn't give any specific examples.
Howard said that he liked the day that JD was in there and explained how he didn't like Jared because of the pimp outfit that he wore at a Halloween party. That was one of the reasons he gave for him being arrogant. Howard said he thought that one of the things that JD was upset about had something to do with a fantasy football thing. JD said that was just part of the reasons for him not being friends with Jared anymore.
Howard tried to get more of an explanation out of JD. He asked JD what fantasy football is all about. JD tried to explain it but the guys had to help him out. JD explained it and said that Jared did beat him in the league and he'd brag about it even though he didn't win the league.
Artie told JD that Jared is an amazing Guitar Hero player too. He was just making that up to rub it in his face. That led to Howard talking to JD about playing the game and if he ever plays against anyone else. He said that he doesn't play against other people too much. He said that he has played against a couple of people and has beaten them.
Howard asked JD about the fat guy in that clip he had played earlier and wondered if he thinks he could get her. JD said that she's one of the patients at that clinic, she's not that attractive. Howard figured that she'd even turn JD down. He said they have to do a dating game with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who thinks that they should have JD and Beetlejuice go out and try to pick up hot chicks. Howard figured that Beet has more game and he'd be able to pick up a hotter chick.
Robin asked JD if he and Jared agreed to be civil to each other in the halls. JD said he's always been civil but he just mumbled when Robin asked him if he's going to talk to Jared at all.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked JD about his relationships with women. JD said that he's not sure he wants to be involved with a woman because he's seen so many relationships go bad. Artie told him he was convincing himself that it's going to fail. Robin asked what the problem is. Artie said that part of the problem is having a girlfriend in the city, you really need to have some scratch.
Howard asked JD what he thinks is going to make that change. JD said that he hopes that his life will get better. That led to Artie talking about how he sold his gift certificate to a nice clothing store for 50 cents on the dollar when he could have gone out and picked up some nice clothes. Instead he went to a strip club with the money. He said that's not the way to pick up chicks.
Howard and the guys goofed on JD and did impressions of him doing a radio show there. Howard had suggested that they give him a show so he can talk about his dislike for Jared. Fred really got into his impression of JD and was mumbling and slurring his words the way JD does.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said that JD is fascinating to him. He said that he hopes to hear JD on the show when he tunes in these days. Melrose was also talking about Artie coming out to L.A. but Howard cut him off and got back to goofing on JD.
Howard had some Hawaiian music playing in the background and did the JD show as if he were talking about his mother and his step-father. Howard said he's going to talk to Tim Sabean about getting him a show there.
Howard took another call from a guy who wanted to talk about the Jay Thomas show. He said that the singing psychic predicted Howard was going to get divorced and meet this blonde. Howard said that Jay was agreeing with her about all of that stuff but they didn't have any tape of her actually saying it. The guy said that he tuned in and heard her talking about how Howard was going to have a baby. They goofed on her for a minute and then the caller wanted to play a game with JD.
The caller told JD to take his headphones off. He suggested that they talk to JD for 2 minutes and find out how many times he says ''whatever,'' ''I don't know,'' or ''you know.'' They took some over/under bets on how many times JD might say those things. The over/under was 15. The guys said that he'd probably come in under.
Howard had JD put his headphones back on and asked JD to describe fantasy football. He said ''I don't know'' two times in the first sentence. Fred was playing a bell whenever he'd say any of those terms. JD went on to explain what fantasy football was about and he'd throw in a ''whatever'' now and then. Howard had him explain what Guitar Hero was and he started to say ''whatever'' more during that explanation than he did with the football thing. JD came in at under 15 with about 6 of those terms. JD had no idea what they were playing so Howard explained it to him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he met this 21 year old girl on Myspace and got to know her through there. He was explaining what he was doing with her but Howard got bored with him and hung up in the middle of the call.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if maybe Jared has a Hawaiian background and that's why JD hates him so much. Howard said that he's pretty sure that's not the case.
Howard played a prank call that the guys had made with High Pitch Eric. They had him call a guy who helps with weight loss. He was eating and asking for help losing weight at the same time. He claimed to weigh 500 pounds in the call.
Howard said that there's not much they can do about that. Richard is going to drink no matter what they tell him. Richard came in a short time later and said that he's not sure he wants to talk about it on the air. He said that he wasn't sure if he could get into trouble for talking about it.
Howard asked Richard why he has to have so much to drink. Richard said that he didn't think that he had that much to drink but then things just started to spin and the next thing he knew he was puking on his shoes. Richard said that he was kind of a terrorist looking guy on the plane next to them and that made him even more nervous.
Richard said that the terrorist looking guy was shaking and looking really nervous during the flight. He said that he was going to say something but he didn't want to seem like that jerk that suspects people of stuff like that. Howard said the guy was probably shaking seeing Richard drunk.
Artie said that Richard really sounds retarded talking about getting arrested on a plane for getting sick. He said that he thought that it was like shooting out biohazard stuff when he's puking. Howard said that if he had to drink while he flew like that he'd think that it was really alarming behavior. Richard said he did look at that and he's going to stop drinking during the week and only drink on the weekend.
Howard said that doesn't seem to be enough and maybe it's time to stop drinking or limit himself to a 2 drink minimum. Richard said that's what he's going to do. He said he doesn't have any more flights coming up so he doesn't have to drink.
Richard said that he's not drinking beer anymore, he's just drinking the hard stuff. He only drinks that one day a week now. He said he limits that to one day a week unless he's flying. Then he'll drink if he flies so that makes it two days a week.
Richard said that he regrets not recording what was going on with his puking on the plane. He said that people were yelling about him being a sick man and the stewardess asking him if he needed to get off the plane.
Howard asked Richard how much he drinks on those days that he drinks. Richard said that he will drink pretty much all day long. Howard asked if he could have only two drinks on those days. Richard said that he could do that and he'll try it out on Friday when he goes to an Iron Maiden concert.
Artie asked Richard what he did with his shoes that he puked on. Richard said that he cleaned them off in the bathroom at the airport. He still has the shoes and they're at home. He said they weren't ruined. Artie said that maybe he should throw them out. Richard said that they're his favorite shoes, Converse, and he didn't want to throw them away.
Howard played Richard and Sal's ''Mitur Binesderty'' prank call after all of that. Richard then asked Howard if he would report someone on the plane who looked middle Eastern and was all nervous and shaking. Howard said that they say that you're supposed to say something but he gets his dilemma. Richard said that he was going to try and strike up a conversation with the guy but he figured he might get suspicious of him trying to talk to him.
Howard told Richard to get that drinking under control. Richard said he's going to do that because it was one of his New Year's resolutions. He said that he admires Howard for being able to fly and not have to drink like he does. Howard said that he hates flying but he just does it. Richard said that when he's drunk it doesn't bother him at all.
Howard told Richard that was enough of his problems. He was going to let him go but Robin asked about what he drank that day. Here's what he said he had:
Howard and the guys goofed on Richard about the whole thing. Artie said that he thought that Richard was taking time off from doing comedy gigs. Richard said that this weekend was a trip to Florida for his girlfriend's birthday. He said they went down to Ft. Lauderdale and it was beautiful. He said the weather was perfect while they were there. Howard said that it is nice down there.
Richard said that the hotel had a bar next to the pool and you can see people swimming from inside the bar. Robin said that she's never picked a hotel based on the bar. Richard said that he did his research and thought that was the best place to go.
Richard talked about how he was drinking at the hotel but only because they were on vacation. Robin said that Richard always has an excuse for his drinking.
Richard said he got sunburned down there when he fell asleep with his legs sticking out of the cabana in the sun. Howard and Robin asked Richard about the drinking while he was on vacation and how he's using that as an excuse to drink. Richard said that he really doesn't drink much when he's home.
Richard said that it's going to be tough to go to this concert on Friday without drinking. Howard told him that he's an alcoholic. Richard said he admits that he is but he's trying to cut down. The guys continued to goof on Richard about the drinking.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the bar that Richard was talking about was one of the biggest white trash places to stay in Ft. Lauderdale. He said that the whole thing is really tacky. Richard said it was like $150 a night or something like that. Artie said that's about what it costs to stay in a garage in South Florida.
Richard said that there must have been a German wheelchair convention in town because there were people rolling around all over the place. He said they all had accents too so that's why he thought it was Germans.
A caller pointed out how funny it was that Richard said that he only threw up wine when he had all of that other stuff to drink. Richard said that his socks were purple when he took them off last night. He said that he still has those too. He didn't throw them out.
Howard said that his weekend was pretty dull compared to Richard's. He said he had to go to break after that. Richard said that he's going to try and control himself from now on. He said his birthday is coming up in a few weeks though so he may have to drink then. The guys spent a couple more minutes talking about Richard's stay in the hotel down there in Florida.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Howard's show is a great way to launch a comedy career and it's kind of odd that Jim Florentine hasn't been on lately. Howard said that he's actually coming in soon. He said that he's going to be promoting a new CD and a charity gig. He said he has nothing interesting going on in his personal life so he hopes that they'll still book him.
Artie said that Jim is going to the Middle East with him so he's excited about that. Howard asked Robin what she thinks about her new love going over there with Artie. Robin said that she will worry when he goes but right now she's not worried.
Richard asked Robin if she and Jim will talk about what they can talk about before he comes on the show. Robin said that she never thought about what they could talk about on the air. That led to Fred doing his Jim impression and talking about some of the sexual stuff they might talk about when he comes in. They also played a new song parody about Robin.
Richard said that he got a picture of Robin from the 1994 pay-per-view special and her nipples were rock hard that night. Howard said he thinks that she did that to get the audience to tune in. He played another new song parody about Robin that Sal performed about her asshole. Robin got a big laugh out of that one. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard finished up his live commercial and came back a short time later. He asked if the guys were interested in talking to this chick. Artie said he could fit that into his schedule.
Callena came in a short time later. Howard said that she was looking good. She said that she's a stripper and she's only 18. She had implants done already and they were done back around Thanksgiving. Robin said they were huge but Callena said she actually wanted them bigger.
Howard said that this girl is only 18 so he wondered how long she could have wanted to be in the magazine. She said that she saw a Playboy back when she was around 7 and that's what put the thought in her head. She said that she went to New Orleans a couple of months before she got her boobs done and that's when she got the Playboy pendant.
Callena said that she wasn't really loose in high school and just lost her virginity recently. She said that she was still a virgin when she started dancing. Gary said that he asked her how she got involved in the dancing thing and she said that she started at an amateur night. She had gone to the club to see what it was all about and got hired.
Callena said that she still hasn't done anal yet when Howard asked about that. She said that it scares her. Gary said that she has some people with her that are trying to help her out with her career. He thinks that she's banging the couple but she claims she's not.
Callena said that she's into girls too so they asked her about that. She said that she has gone down on women and done stuff with them. She said that she has a thing for this couple's wife and that's who she's after in that relationship. The girl said that she's been with 3 women and couple of men.
Howard said that it's kind of weird that she wears that Playboy thing when she's not even in the magazine. She said that she wants people to ask her if she's in the magazine even if she's not in. Howard asked her what her background is. She said that her mother is white and Chinese and her father is black. Howard said it was a good mix and she looked really good.
Callena said that her mother died when she was 9 and her dad raised her for a little while but then her grandparents took over. Howard figured that's why she's gone to stripping. Howard asked her if she mom died because she saw the future. She said that she actually died in her sleep.
Howard told Callena that he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her naked. He said he wouldn't have a problem with an 18 year old dancing for him in a club but in the studio it was different. He said that she looks more mature than 18 though.
Howard said that he'd take a look at her even though she's just 18. He told her to show whatever she wanted to. She took her top off and Howard said they were really big. She said she bought them and he said it was pretty obvious. She said that they cost $5,300 and they were silicone. Howard said that they looked like they were too tight in there. She didn't have a lot of skin. She said that they're still new so that's why they're so tight.
Howard wanted to see her ass but she said that she wanted to keep something for Playboy. Gary said that they can't send pictures of her with clothes on to Playboy. They weren't going to send anything to them if she didn't take her pants off. Artie said that they can't send them anything if she doesn't strip down.
Ronnie came in and said that she broke his balls to get up there and now she won't strip. He asked her how she can get in the magazine if she doesn't get naked for them. He asked if it was a scam or something. She said that she promised herself that she wouldn't.
Gary asked Callena why she came up there if she wasn't going to get naked for them. They told her that all of the other girls who have gotten into the magazine have gotten naked. Ronnie said that the whole idea was to get evaluated and now she's not getting naked.
Ronnie said that the guy she came up there with must be a scam artist. Howard told Callena that they can't guarantee that she'll get into the magazine but they can take some pictures and send them over to them. She finally agreed to do it.
Callena took her pants off and Artie was going nuts over how great it looked. Jason took some pictures of her to send over to Playboy while she did that. Howard told her that they'd pass them along to their friends over at Playboy.
Howard said that she was spreading her legs on the couch and he didn't expect that to happen. They were also talking about how they don't have a lot of black chicks in the magazine, maybe one a year, so she may have to wait until next year since they've already gotten in that one for this year. They goofed around talking about that for a minute.
Howard said that he thinks that Callena might be good enough for Playboy but it's hard to tell from looking at her the way she was dressed if she was good enough. Artie said that he thinks she looks a lot like this chick Thandie Newton who was in ''Mission Impossible 2.''
Callena said that she works at Little Darlings in Las Vegas for anyone who wants to go see her strip. The guys were also talking about how a lot of the girls who get into the magazine end up banging famous guys and one of them, Jillian Grace, actually got knocked up by David Spade.
Howard took a call from Sal who was pretending to be Lester Green from Black Tail magazine asking her to be in his magazine. She passed on that. She said that she really wants to wait for Playboy. Howard told Callena she was very good looking and was about to wrap up with her. Then Artie said he wanted to see this guy that brought her there.
The guy came in and some of the guys started to laugh. Howard asked the guy how he met this chick. He said he and his wife had met her at a strip club in New Orleans. Howard asked the guy if his wife is getting it on with this chick. He said that they're not yet but if want to do anything, he'd be up for it.
The guy talked about how his wife is very open minded but he didn't say if she's into chicks or not. He gave them a ''no comment.'' The guy said that he had the two girls with him in the hotel with him this weekend. He said that he wasn't sure if he was going to get in this morning so his wife didn't come with them.
Howard talked to the guy for a short time and found out he was originally from Russia. They spent a few minutes talking to him about how he met Callena and going over some of that. He wasn't giving up all of the details though. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using Ronnie the Limo Driver audio clips where he was asking a woman to come up to the studio to ride the Sybian topless. Howard said that Ronnie really is good at getting chicks to take their clothes off. Robin said that he must know how these girls need to be treated.
Howard asked Ronnie how he knows what to say to these broads. Ronnie came in again so Howard told him to get Robin naked. Robin said that's not going to happen.
Ronnie said that he went down to talk to that girl in the lobby and she was telling him that she was going to get naked and then she didn't do it so he came in and yelled at her. He said that she didn't promise anything but she did say that she might get naked. Howard told him he's got a skill there and he was praising him for that. Ronnie was surprised he was actually getting praise for something.
Artie said that he thinks that the girl is already soulless and there's something about her that was a little off. Howard wondered if Ronnie could get her on the Sybian. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that because he does have more show to get to. Artie said that she was just 18 and he forgot about that for a minute. Ronnie said he'd talk to her about it even if he decides not to do it.
Artie said that he's in heat for this broad and he can't think straight now. Howard took a call from a guy who said that they only let Asian chicks in Playboy like once every leap year so she's out.
Artie said that she might have had the nicest ass ever. He saw it again up on his monitor so he was going nuts over it again.
Howard said that the wedding should be in October. He was about to talk about the plans but he said it was too complicated and he didn't want to get into it.
Lisa said that Scott DePace has raised the price of his Video Caddy product and the Page 69 guys have a report about that and about how Scott goes on golf forums and puts the product out there. Scott came in and said that he did that just once. He said that they caught him immediately and found out that he was posting from SIRIUS so he got busted.
Lisa asked why the price went up. Scott said it was selling well and he had to raise the price. Lisa said that Jason is saying that Scott has asked him not to comment about him to the news anymore. Scott said that he was asked not to comment on Jason anymore but Jason keeps it going. Scott also said that the caddy never sold for 40 bucks like they claimed it had. It used to be 60, now it's 70.
Howard said that Jason and Scott remind him of the Black Crowes, Chris and Rich Robinson, because they hate each other but they need each other. Jason came in a short time later and Scott went off on him about breathing into the microphone.
Jason said that Scott got kicked out of a bar for being drunk a couple of weeks ago but Scott said that wasn't true. Scott said that was all a misunderstanding. Jason said that Scott's friend was the one who got into trouble and Scott tried to stop security from throwing his friend out so that's why he got thrown out. Scott said that he went to stick up for his friend and he ended up pushing the owner of the bar by accident. His friend had accidentally gone into the ladies bathroom and that's what he was going to get thrown out for.
Howard thought that Scott was one of the more together people there but it didn't seem that way after hearing the story. Scott was denying the stuff that Jason was saying so Jason asked someone to come in and back him up. The two of them went back and forth about that stuff for a few minutes. Scott doesn't want Jason talking about him anymore since he's stopped talking about him. Jason said that means that he'd have to stop talking to the news department.
Howard found it interesting that Jason knew so much about Scott. Jason said that's because people come to him with all of the dirt on Scott. Jason said there are a lot of people out there in the office who know what happened there at the bar. Scott stuck by his story that he was just trying to protect his friend. He said that he didn't know that it was the bar owner who was pushing him around. The threw in a plug for his video caddy web site TheVideoCaddy.com.
Benjy said that Rolling Rock beer is the company talking about this Moonvertising thing and they're trying to do it. Howard said that he wanted something to actually be on the moon but Benjy was saying that they might do it with lasers so they can just project it there.
Howard said that in the past he'd go on Letterman and tell him that Lesbians were going to be the big ratings catcher and 20-some years later he's right. He said that they have a lot of Lesbian stuff on TV now and that's what he predicted.
Howard said that he had a meeting last week about the next History of Howard Stern special that will air next December. He said that one of the people that participated in the last one was David Letterman and he said that he wanted to hear the whole thing he did. He heard they did a full 30 minute interview with him. He had some clips from that interview that the guys gave him.
In one clip Letterman talked about working at WNBC when Howard was there and how one of his fans had asked him if he was there and that's how he got to know who Howard was. Howard said he thought that was an interesting story.
Howard played another clip where Letterman talked about his early visits on the show and the great energy he had on the show. Howard said he thought all of that was fascinating. He didn't even know that Dave was still aware of him. The two of them started in the same year at NBC. Artie said that he listened to Howard back then and watched Letterman every night too. He said that there was one Letterman episode where a woman complained about Howard when Dave was doing this complaint line bit.
Howard said that he remembers those days because NBC was getting so many complaints about the stuff he was doing on his show. He said he was doing the gay characters and stuff like that and they got a lot of complaints about that.
Howard played an Evil Dave Letterman prank call to a public access call in show. The guys had Evil Dave telling the guy that he loved the show and that they were doing a bang up job. Then he said that he loves the coloreds and asked if he could suck his cock. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard talked about how Amy Fisher got a lot of publicity about her walking off the show last week. He also read a story about Star Jones and her man Al Reynolds breaking up. He said that he hopes that Star will come on the show and thank him for talking about the marriage not lasting because he was right about that. Robin said that he didn't save her from anything because she went through with the wedding anyway.
Howard read through the article about Al and Star and said he's waiting for Al's book to come out. He can't wait to read that. Robin said she can't wait for Al to come out... with his book of course.
Howard said that he got some notes from Doug, his web site webmaster, who told him about the guy who started Facebook.com. He gave him some notes about that guy and how he was being sued for using that name.
Howard said that the movie ''10,000 BC'' was the number one movie this weekend. He said that it looks kind of cool in the commercial but it isn't getting very good ratings. He said it brought in $35.7 million this weekend. He said that it made $61 million worldwide. Martin Lawrence's ''College Road Trip'' made $14 million. Howard talked about how that guy seems to be doing okay for himself. They talked about ''Semi Pro'' with Will Farrell.
Gary said that he saw the worst move ever made called ''Be Kind Rewind.'' He said that the movie was a funny idea for about 3 minutes but it went on for an hour and a half. He said that his kids loved the movie though.
Howard said that they've found a way to test a dog's IQ and a lot of people who thought that their dogs were really smart are finding out that they're really not. they found that one dog had a 131 IQ. He read through the article and said there was one with a 121 IQ. That was a dog IQ, not a human IQ.
Gary said that he knows some people that are sending their dog to a dog shrink because the dog is refusing to go into the kitchen or go upstairs.
Howard said that he hates this daylight savings time thing. He said that he heard that this year was the last year but Robin didn't hear anything about that. Howard said that he only had to change one clock yesterday and his assistant took care of the rest of them.
Robin said that her assistant called her this morning to make sure she was up on time. She was afraid that she was going to forget that the clocks changed. Artie said that his mother would call him every year to remind him to change his clocks. He said that he's glad that she did that.
Gary said that he got a clock that knows the time and date even if it's unplugged. He said he got that from the Brookstone catalog.
Howard read a story about Victoria Beckham who refuses to wear flat shoes and has to bring heels with her everywhere she goes. Howard said that she is very good looking and he likes to read that she sticks to things that make her look good. Robin said that she thinks she's odd looking. Howard said that he thinks she's attractive.
Howard said he'd like to know why he doesn't shower. Richard came in and said that he wasn't feeling good last night so he just went to bed after eating. He said that he ate a sub that he got down in Florida. He said that he went to Publix supermarket and got a sub there. He said that their subs are amazing.
Artie said that he doesn't consider Richard human. Richard said that he just drank some Gatorade to get the taste of puke out of his mouth. He said that his girlfriend was there with him last night too. He said that he also shit when he was on the flight last night. She shit again this morning. He's taken at least 2 shits and puked on himself and he still hasn't showered.
Benjy said that he suggested to her that she get this done before the new year but she held off on it. Now she's got a new boyfriend. Benjy said that he hopes that she's okay but he's not going to be stopping by. Howard let Donna go a short time later.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that woman who was in the studio last week sounded like she had a chemistry going with Howard. Howard said that he did look her over but he wouldn't have done anything with her. He said that he has seduced some married women in his life though. He said that it's surprising how many people cheat on their spouses.
The caller asked Howard if he thinks that he could have gotten Dana when Artie was with her. Howard said that he would never do that to his bro, and Artie is his bro even if he doesn't think he is. He said that Dana was very loyal to him too and he's pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to get her anyway.
Howard said that he believes that if there are 150 million women in this country, he could get about 100 million of them. He said he was making the rounds after his divorce and a lot of women were throwing themselves at him. He said that he did get turned down by a few but there were a lot who were coming after him.
Howard told a story about going into a store to buy some furniture and saw a really hot chick there. He said she worked there and he was immediately drawn to her. He said that he would probably be considered a sex addict. He said he did get her number at the furniture store but he never did call her. He said that she was really hot but he had so many other things going on that he never did call. He said that it was so easy to get chicks at that time that he didn't need to call that chick.
Howard talked about how happy he is with Beth. Robin said that she heard that she was going out and hugging some of the Wack Packers out at some event they went to. Howard said that she is very nice like that but he really doesn't want to see her doing that.
Howard said that he was disgusted with himself after that happened. Artie wanted to know how all of that had gone down. He said that he didn't want to get into too much detail but he knew both of the chicks before then. He said that they were on a couch when it all went down and he was at a party at the time. He said that they were just messing around and he was playing with the one chick's boobs and she was kind of groping him. He said that he didn't want to go that far with the whole thing at the time.
He said he had said no to the chick who had pulled his pants down but he wasn't going to try and have her arrested for rape or anything. He said they would have been laughed out of the business if he had done that.
Howard said he learned that the best blow jobs only come from those women who are really into giving them. He said that their mouths are just ready for it to happen and their mouths are all wet. That led to the guys talking about Robin and how she studied a video on how to do blow jobs.
A caller asked if that chick swallowed Howard's load. He said that she did swallow every drop of it. He said that he didn't stick around too long after that. He said it was about 30 seconds.
Richard asked Howard if the chicks that saw his penis were surprised at how big it was. He said that they were surprised that it wasn't smaller than it was. He said that none of them ever choked on him though.
The caller asked Howard if that was all the detail they were going to get. Howard said that's as far as he's going. He did say that the one chick who kind of raped him was kind of famous at the time. He didn't give any clues to help anyone figure out who she was though.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that they need to keep Richard out of the studio during conversations like that. Richard had asked Howard if he had gotten a finger in his ass with those two chicks. Richard said that he ran that past Gary before he came in.
Howard played a new clip from Cops where this woman is yelling at one of the cops and her teeth are falling out. She was screaming at the guy and asking the cops to take her life since they had just taken her kids from her.
Howard said that clip is the reason that he's such a supporter of the cops. He said that they have to deal with all of these low lifes. He had another clip where the cops went to the scene of an argument and this woman was threatening to shoot this guy as she was talking to the cops. She went off on them and told them not to talk to her the way they were. They go to arrest her and she tries to bite them. She continues to fight them while they're sticking her in the back of the police car.
Howard said that woman sounds kind of like the woman that Blue Iris called in a prank call one time. He played that call next. The guys had used clips of Blue talking about getting fucked and stuff and the woman on the line went off on her and did sound a lot like the woman in the Cops clip.
Howard said he had another clip of a newscaster saying ''cock'' instead of cookies. He played that clip from Keith Olberman's show. They're talking to this woman about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and she says ''tea and cock... cookies'' while explaining some story about Hillary.
Howard said that he was watching FOX news the other day and they have one good looking woman after the other on there. He said there were 3 yesterday that he thought were really hot. He said he still hasn't made up his mind about which one he'd rather fuck. He talked about one of the women who seemed really smart and was really hot. Then they had another one who was even hotter and sitting next to one of the nerdy guys they have on FOX news.
Howard got a picture of the woman who said ''cock'' and she was a little older than he expected. He said that she's probably a nice lady. He thought it was kind of hot when she said cock.
Howard said that if he wasn't with Beth, he'd probably go down to FOX today and just sit in the lobby waiting for the hot chicks to walk in. He said that they seem perfect. He figured that they might be a pain in the ass but they're definitely hot.
Howard said that Adam is going to be dancing with the hot blonde Julianne Hough that the guy from Entourage thought he was dating when he came in. Adam's wife had told him that she was fine with him dancing with anyone but that Julianne chick and then they stuck her with him.
Howard said that Adam thinks that the Julianne chick is still a virgin. Gary said that he spoke to Adam last night and he got the same rap from him about that chick. Howard said they'll talk to Adam about that stuff when he calls in soon.
Howard heard from Jimmy Kimmel that Adam is only practicing his dancing for about 30 minutes a day while Adam claims it's a couple of hours. Howard said that Adam is giving himself a B grade for his dancing based on the amount of time he's spending doing it.
The guys talked that Julianne chick for a couple of minutes and played one of her songs. They picked the song apart since she was singing about her hard life. Howard said it hit number 100 on the billboard charts.
Howard said that Adam will give them all of the details on that stuff when he calls in. He said that Adam was telling him that on the weekends Adam is able to get in more practice for the show but during the week it's a mess.
Gary read that Julianne is a Mormon and she's hoping to stay a virgin until she gets married. Howard was saying that they get like $50,000 to do that show even if they get kicked off. That led to the guys talking about the Celebrity Rehab reality show that was on VH-1. Robin said that she thought it was for celebrities and she doesn't even know most of the people on there.
Howard said that Adam is a weird guy. He said that he told him that they quoted Howard on his movie poster. Howard said they didn't ask his permission to do that but it was a little late to be bringing that up. Artie said they did that for his movie too without asking him first.
Robin said that the water contains a bunch of special liquids that have minerals in them so she can get them into her system. She said she got the jug from a supermarket, it's just distilled water, and then she puts in little tablespoons of different minerals. She said she's not even sure what it is. It wasn't Dr. Roni (21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox) who told her how to make it. She said she got the instructions from someone else. Howard gave her a big ''wow'' when he heard all of that.
Robin said that she's still losing weight and she's on a fast right now. That's going to last for 28 days and she's going to be getting rid of the toxins in her body. This fast is different than the last one she did. Robin said she's enjoying this though.
Howard told Robin that maybe she should just eat 3 meals a day. She said that it's not just about the weight loss. She said that she eats lettuce every day and doesn't care about what things taste like anymore. She said she was never off of bread, she eats vegetables and grain. She said that she just doesn't eat meat.
Howard said that Robin should have lost all of the weight that she wanted to lose by now. He told her that she should get rid of that jug and just eat something. She said that she eats when she wants to eat. She said that she has no metabolism and that's why she has to do the diet the way she does. She said that was self diagnosed though.
Robin said that she had some studies done on her blood and they found that she was anemic and she's never been able to give blood because of it. A caller told Robin that she has to just start eating normal meals 3 times a day. Robin said that she doesn't have a normal blood cell count.
Howard said that the water she's drinking is just weird. She's also drinking some special shakes and stuff while she's on this diet. Robin told the caller that she can't digest meat so that's why she's cut that out. She said that she's not the one complaining.
Howard asked Robin if she's got regular bowel movements. She said that she has one at least once a day. Howard asked if they're messy. She laughed but didn't answer. Howard asked her about the not digesting meat thing. She said that the meat just sits in her belly like a lead weight.
Howard said that he cares, that's why he's asking about all of this stuff. He asked her about the coffee enemas she does. Robin said that she's going to be doing that soon and she'll be doing that alone. She said that she does that on her own if she has to. She bragged that she =once held in the coffee enema water for about 20 minutes.
Richard said that Robin got all offended when someone suggested that she try some roast beef at Jon Hein's daughter's bat mitzvah. It's like she expects everyone to know what she does on her diet. Howard asked Robin about the enema thing and found out that she uses regular coffee from a health food store for the enemas. She never drinks coffee but she has no problem squirting it up her ass.
Howard said that he can't imagine taking a quart of liquid into his asshole. He said that you have to pucker up and hold it in. Robin said that it never leaks either. She said that if she feels she has to go to the bathroom she just goes. She said that she doesn't have to pump it in there either, it's gravity that feeds it in there.
Howard asked how big the object is that you stick in your ass. She said that it's very small. She said that it goes in about 6-8 inches. The guys were surprised by that. Robin said that she reads and meditates while she's sitting around waiting for the enema to do its thing.
Howard asked what happens when she goes to let the enema out. She said that sometimes doody will come out and she has to inspect the toilet to make sure that everything came out. She said that nothing but doody and coffee come out though.
Howard said that he could do a full 4 hour show just talking to Robin about this stuff. He said her jug of water was the size of her head. He told Robin that she really does look good these days. He heard that she was thinking about changing her hair style but she said that wasn't true. Howard heard she was going blonde. She said that she never did that but she does color her hair black because it turns grey over time.
Howard said he was fascinated by all of this stuff. He wanted to set up a competition with Judith Regan to find out who can hold it in the longest. Robin said she has no idea how long Judith can hold it in.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Howard is able to keep the weight off no matter what. Howard said that's bull, he has to work his ass off to keep the weight off. Dominic said that some people suffer and aren't able to keep the weight off as easy as Howard. Howard said that he was out running on Saturday in the rain. He said that he wanted to punch Dominic for saying that it was easy. He said that he went up to 196 pounds this weekend and cut his food and deserts down and he's already lost a couple of pounds. He'll be down to 192 by the end of the week.
Howard said that he doesn't think that the enema thing is good for you. He said he could never shove something in his ass like that. He said that if there is a god or some grand designer, then they didn't have it in mind to be shoving something up there like that. Robin said the grand designer didn't plan on having big cities and things like that in this world either.
Howard found out that it was Dr. Roni who told Robin about how to do the coffee enema thing. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that before Howard had to take another break.
Sal came in and said that he was reading but he only reads a few lines and then loses interest. He said that he was reading a story about a kid who was arrested or something. He said that he read about some models who had trashed a hotel room. He read about Hillary Clinton being a flip flopper about the war.
Howard said that he did get some information then. Artie asked him what he read about in Page Six but Sal didn't answer.
Howard said that they were talking about Letterman earlier and Artie reminded him of this bit that Letterman did where he took complaint line calls. He said they did some digging and found some old clips from Dave's show where he did that. He played one clip where Dave picked up and the woman told him she wanted to get a hold of Howard Stern because she wanted him to have his party at her house. Dave said he could put her though to Howard but he wanted something too. She said that she had some pretty girlfriends that she could introduce him to. Dave talked about the popular and peculiar show that Howard was doing there at NBC at the time.
Howard said that there were some interesting things there. He said that he can't believe that NBC fired him. He said that the phone lines used to burn up because of his show. They didn't know how well the radio division could have done with him there. He said that clip wasn't the only one where Dave's callers mentioned his name.
Artie said that wasn't the bit he remembered but it was interesting to hear that because the audience was going nuts when they heard Howard's name. He was making an impact even back then, around 1983 or so. Howard said that was amazing to him that NBC dropped him after all of that. Howard said that Dave became aware of him back then and eventually put him on his show.
Howard got some feedback about the Amy Fisher interview and some people said they were glad she left as quickly as she did. He got some feedback about him talking about his parents.
He got some negative mail about Lisa G snooping around the offices there. He read through one of those e-mails where the guy went off on her for being such a Yenta and a wannabe high society type. He read some about his goofing on Gary. He said that some people didn't like that he was making fun of him.
some people wrote in about JD and his fight with Jared. He said that one person said JD would look kind of like a young Jackson Browne if he wore contacts.
There was one guy who asked Howard to have his father make his Belmont race track picks on the air. Howard said they might be able to do that. He read some feedback about Jay Thomas' show that aired on Friday morning. A lot of people liked the show. Some people were upset about the number of adds that aired during that show though.
Steve said that they have a scene in a movie that Jackie the Joke Man was in and they have about half a dozen references to Howard Stern in that scene. Howard said that it's amazing that Jackie is getting so much press these days and he must have some publicist working for him now. That led to Howard doing his impression of Jackie and goofing on him for a short time.
The guys were talking about some of the little mentions that Jackie has been getting lately in the paper. Artie said one of them was about where Jackie was seen out eating one day recently. Howard did more of his impression and goofed on Jackie some more after hearing that. Robin figured that Jackie was his own publicist and wasn't paying anyone to put those stories out there.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. He ran through some of the stuff they were going to try and cover today. He mentioned Callena the playboy evaluation chick, Richard's puking on a plane, JD's new game, Scott DePace and Jason, Howard's three way and much more.
Howard and the guys ended up talking about the Dave Clark 5 during that story that Robin was doing. Howard played some of their stuff too. Fred threw in some wrestler Goldust clips while they were playing one of their songs.
Howard played some clips of some other bands that were being inducted. Howard was doing his morning DJ voice for all of the songs when he'd introduce them. When he played some Little Walter, Fred threw in some more of the Goldust clips where he was stammering from his tourettes.
Robin read a story about St. Patrick's day and some controversy going on about it. That led to Artie talking about how his father's 65th birthday would have been on this St. Patrick's day. Howard said that his dog's birthday is on that day too.
Robin read some other stories like how this month is nutrition month. Artie said that doesn't make sense because you can't have St. Patrick's day and nutrition month in the same month.
Robin read a story about Heath Ledger and how he left his infant child out of his will. Howard talked about how that guy should have set his kid up in the will as soon as it was born. He said that anyone who has a kid has to get their will done to make sure the kid is taken care of.
Robin read a story about how the rumors of a new Seinfeld TV show are false. That got Howard doing his Seinfeld impression and talking about the new show ''Kramer Loves ni**ers'' that he was working on. He said that maybe they could send Kramer to Africa and have him trying to prove he loves black people. He said that they have to call it that name because that's his thing, to yell out the N-word. He thinks that they could put it on NBC. Robin wasn't so sure about that.
Robin read some more stories about the cost of the Iraq war, $12 billion a month. Howard said that we could do so many other things in this world with money like that. He said that the company is going to be bankrupt in no time if we keep that up. The guys talked about how they had some contaminated water over there and that led to Artie talking about how he'll probably end up getting sick when he goes over to entertain the troops. He may end up calling in sick from the Middle East. Fred threw in the Henry Hill coughing clip while they were talking about that. Howard had to make him stop because it was so gross.
Robin said that the average price of gas is $3.20 for regular around the country. She said that it's going to be heading higher too and it's climbed 9 cents in the past two weeks alone.
Robin read a story about Barack Obama so Howard said that he can't bring himself to vote for that guy, he's a Hillary man himself. They spent a little time on that and then Robin read some more news about John McCain. The guys spent a while talking about him and about some stories they'd heard about him.
Robin read a story about a 10 year old kid who was buried head first by some friends of his in a sand box. He's now in critical condition.
Robin read another story about Jenna Jameson doing an ad campaign for a company. She wrapped up after that so Howard ended the show right around 11:00am.
Gary talked about how he prepares the guys for days when they don't have any guests and JD has about 4 pages of clips that they haven't gotten to. They were also talking about the show that they were thinking about giving to JD.
JD brought up this Callena girl who kind of showed up there this morning out of nowhere. Gary said that things have changed there at SIRIUS because guests can't just pop in and get up to the studio like they used to do at K-Rock. He said that they really haven't had that many people show up like they used to.
Gary said that Callena was 18 with some guy and it was a whole weird situation so they let her come up. He said that Will went down and checked her out and he came back with some information on her. They brought her up with the guy and Gary said that he thought that something odd was going on there so he figured it would be good for the air.
Gary also talked about how Callena was laying on the couch and had her legs up in the air like she was doing a photo shoot. He said that she's a much different 18 year old than other 18 year olds he knows. Benjy said she was talking about her tight pussy at that point too which was odd.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from that segment where they were talking to Callena about the creepy guy she was there with. Gary said that it was pretty easy to get her to take her pants off around that time. He said that Robin helped out too because she was giving her some advice to go for it while she was there.
Gary said that he can't go off on the girls like Ronnie does. He said that Ronnie has that ability to get girls to strip down though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie talked a stripper into getting naked, that's no big deal. Gary said that she wasn't going to strip before Ronnie came in. He said that he could have done it himself but he didn't think it was worth it.
Jon asked the guys if they think she could be in Playboy. Gary said she needs to work on some areas. Benjy wasn't sure. Gary said her boobs weren't done very well and they looked like stripper boobs.
Jon took another call and the guy said he loves the show but it was kind of creepy when a 50 year old guy is brow beating an 18 year old to take her clothes off. Gary told the guy that she's a stripper already at 18 and she's seen a lot of stuff in her life already. That's not a normal 18 year old. The caller said that he can't get past that 18 year old girl thing and he had to change the station because it was too uncomfortable. Gary said that he can't get a feel for what was going on if he changed the channel.
The guy said that he'd be fine with it if they didn't brow beat her into doing it. He said that it was creepy when Ronnie was going off on her the way he was. Jon said he's kind of creeped out by it too but she was there to be evaluated for Playboy so she knew what she was in for when she came in.
Ronnie came in so Gary and Jon told him what the caller was just saying about him. Ronnie said that she was all about taking her clothes off and riding the Sybian when he spoke to her in the lobby. He didn't think it was that big of a deal. He said that she's a stripper in a 2-bit strip club in Vegas. The caller was still creeped out by the 18 year old thing. Gary said that if he can't get past that then nothing they say is going to help.
Ronnie got a compliment from Howard during that segment so Jon asked him how he felt about that. Ronnie said hat it was a surprise because he's usually getting bashed during the show. He said that she was okay but she had zits all over her face. He said that she was good looking though. Gary said he was right, she just needs to clear up the face and fix the boobs. Jon thought that the face might be easier to fix but then he thought about it and said that maybe it's not.
Benjy said he kind of liked the stretch marks she had on her ass. He said that those marks are probably because her ass just exploded into that nice curvy ass she had. Gary said that he doesn't know that's where they came from. Gary said that he doesn't know that they came from her ''exploding.''
Jon took one more call about this subject. the caller said that the girl knew what she was up there for and Ronnie was fine doing what he did. Gary said that there are 18 year olds who are much different. Some know that life and others don't. This girl had a lot of experience in that way.
Gary said that Callena had that annoying giggle that strippers have. He goofed on her a little bit about that. Benjy said that he thought she was older than that but Ronnie had checked her ID and knew that she was telling the truth about that.
Richard said that he figured that he'd tell Gary about it since he doesn't vomit every time he drinks. He said that it was the first time it happened in years. He said that he's still pissed that he didn't record it. He said that he was making that really deep vomiting sound that he makes too. Richard said he reached to his bag to unzip it to get the recorder out but it was too late. He said he didn't want to puke on the bag because it's really nice. Richard said that the terrorist looking guy had to have seen it but he didn't see his reaction to it.
The guys talked about the hotel that Richard and his girlfriend stayed at. Richard said that tacky doesn't bother him as long as they have a clean room for him. He said that she was great after he puked too. Gary said that he's not going to find a better chick than that because not too many women would put up with stuff like that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Richard might need some help because he doesn't seem to be all there about some of this stuff. She said that he needs their help to figure out how to do normal stuff.
Gary and Jon talked to Richard about the heavy drinking that he does on the weekends and how that really is like an alcoholic. Richard admits that he is one but he doesn't seem to think that there's a problem there. He said that he's a lightweight now because back in high school he was really crazy. He would actually drink before school. He would piss his pants during reading class because the teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom. He said that he's a responsible alcoholic now. Richard said that it wasn't an every day before school thing back then. He said it was just once in a while.
Gary asked what class that was in that he peed his pants. Richard said it was reading class and they'd just reading books to each other.
Jon asked the woman on the phone if she thinks that Richard is retarded. She said that she thinks that everyone is retarded in their own way. She talked about how maybe he needs to step back and look at what he's doing with his life because he's puking in a public place.
Richard said that he was on the beach this weekend and just enjoying his drinking. He said he felt like he was living life to the fullest while doing all of that. Gary said he thinks that Richard uses flying as an excuse to drink and that's not good. He said that he could go to the doctor and get a prescription for pills that could help calm him down.
Richard said that he's tried drugs and he really doesn't like them. He said that he's afraid of taking too many. He said that he also wants to be able to drink when he wants and doesn't want to mix the pills and alcohol. He said he doesn't mind flying now because he can drink and watch his vide iPod. He said that it is kind of true that he can fly and drink and that's a good excuse to drink.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Richard is the one who needs the most help on the show. Gary said that Artie is right up there too. JD is on that list of people who need help as well. The guys spent a short time going over all of those people. They even threw Sal's name in there. Benjy said that he thinks Sal's life is really out of whack. Gary said they could all benefit from help.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he feels the same way about flying that Richard does. He has to drink a ton before he gets on a plane. He said that he has to have a few drinks a day too.
Richard said that he's been pretty good this year and cut back on his drinking. He said that he does kind of drink to excess on that one day a week he drinks. He said he's afraid that he's going to go nuts at the Maiden concert this week. He said he'll probably get drunk and puke from drinking too much. He said he has some Vans Iron Maiden shoes that he'll be wearing to that concert. Richard said that the lead singer of the band actually flies the band around the world because he's a pilot. He said he may even go out to the airport to see the Iron Maiden plane land. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that he found it odd that Scott got mad that someone was pulling his friend out of the ladies room. Scott said that he would attack anyone who would touch his friend and he'd hope that all of them would do the same for him. He said that the bar was a piece of crap bar and the guy overreacted to what his friend did. He said that the bouncer pulled on him and he got in his face and then he left the bar.
Scott said that he heard that Jason was the one who ran and started this story and he wasn't even there. He said that he doesn't know that he was out of control, he didn't see any of what happened. Jason said he heard a lot of stories from people and they all said the same thing, that's what he's going by.
Scott said that he wasn't out of control, his friend may have been a little out of control. Jason said that from what he heard he was out of control. Jason said that he heard that Scott's friend had spit beer on someone there at the bar and he should call that guy in to ask him what happened. Scott said that this kid Ben had made his friend laugh when he had beer in his mouth and he accidentally spit on him. He said that he did call to apologize to him because he figured that his friend wouldn't have done that if he wasn't drunk.
Scott got upset when Jason called him an asshole and said that everyone gets pissed at him when he calls Jason names. Gary said that the two of them are out of control.
Scott said that Jason was making him out to look like he was a drunk and that just wasn't the case. Jason aids that Scott really doesn't know what he's talking about. He said that people come to him with these stories about Scott and then the news team comes to him and asks him to comment on them. Jason said he doesn't get why Scott takes his bad weekend out on him.
Will came in and said that his girlfriend was in the bathroom when Scott's friend barged in and they let out a scream. He wasn't doing it on purpose according to Scott. He said he was only in there for about half a second before he got snatched out.
Scott got in another plug for his Video Caddy web site TheVideoCaddy.com. They spent a minute talking about that and how Scott had raised the price by 10 bucks. Scott said that he's gotten a lot of great feedback about it and it's selling just fine.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it doesn't matter if Scott is acting like an asshole, Jason shouldn't be commenting on it. Jason said that he said he wasn't there when they interviewed him about that.
Another caller said that Jason is taking it too far and Scott had the right to defend his friend. Jason said that he was just responding to a question he got from the news department.
Benjy said that Scott said something about Doug Goodstein telling him to stop talking about Jason. Scott said that he was told by Doug that Jason wanted to end this battle. Doug came in and said that Jason did want to end it and he's not sure why Jason keeps resurrecting this whole thing. He said that he wanted to stop it both on a personal and a professional level so the two of them don't get into trouble.
Scott said that he's back to World War III levels with Jason now if he wants to continue the battle. Jason said that he loves the way Scott gets so upset with him and he had no idea he had so much power over his life. He said that he gets so angry with him and he finds it so funny.
Gary said that it is funny that Scott is so upset with Jason and he sees what he's talking about. He gets really worked up when Jason brings up his name. Scott said that he's constantly making fun of him and all he's done is call him fat.
Jason said that Scott acts all innocent but meanwhile he's goofing on him behind his back. He pointed out the fact that he got busted for posting on web sites under other names. Jason also said that he's going to start a web site called TheVideoCaddySucks.com and he'll teach people how to save 70 bucks.
Howard started off the show talking about the weather in New York City and how it was going to be a nice day. He welcomed everyone to the show but Robin asked if anyone else cared what the weather was like there. Howard said of course they do.
Howard said that he had a story to talk about this morning and he's pretty sure everyone knows about it by now. It's a big disgrace. He said that he was going to talk about Billy Crystal playing an exhibition game with the Yankees. He said that they've signed him to a contract that will allow him to play against the Pirates. Robin wondered why they would do that and said that it shows that the team is a big joke at this time.
Howard read through an article about that Billy Crystal thing and then brought up the Elliot Spitzer story and how he enjoyed watching TV yesterday because of that. He said that he backed Spitzer himself for the run for governor. He said that he was known as a pitbull and he liked what he had heard about him. He even saw him out on the street one day when he was out for a run and the guy came over and said hello to him. He said that he's always impressed when someone comes up to him and isn't disgusted by him so he liked that.
Robin said she was gleeful yesterday when she heard about this story. Howard said that they're going to have a black and blind governor now that Spitzer has to step down.
Robin said that they pulled out former NJ governor McGreevey's wife to ask her what it's like to be disgraced by her husband. Howard said that he was reading and hearing stories about Spitzer's experiences with prostitutes and it sounded like he was into some strange stuff. Robin said he paid a lot for the services he was getting too.
Howard said that Spitzer was involved with bringing a woman over state lines and that's something you can go to jail for. He said they hardly ever go after the John's in these busts but he's going to get in trouble over the money transfer stuff he was doing. Howard said he didn't quite understand what was going on there with this money thing. He wondered if the money transfer is the thing that triggered the whole investigation. Robin said that she thinks that might be it but the prostitution ring may have been under investigation too.
Howard said that you can have two attitudes toward this whole thing. He said that this guy Spitzer is a guy just like anyone else. He may have been with whores but a lot of guys do that. He said that the problem is that he was very much for busting prostitution rings. He said that the real thing there is that he compromises the office with this because organized crime is linked to stuff like that. He said that a lot of the girls he saw knew who he was when he went to see them and they could turn around and blackmail him. Howard and Robin talked about how that would open him up to blackmail and that's a huge issue.
Howard wondered if someone like that can be a good governor. He said that he was against Bill Clinton fucking an intern but he let that slide because she was a regular chick. He said that everyone seems to be up to fucking around and it's crazy.
Howard said he talked to his mother about this last night and she said that there's something with this sex drive that doesn't allow people to control themselves. He asked her if she's got any sex drive of her own. She said that she can control it and knows the right thing to do. He said that she doesn't seme to have any sex drive of her own.
Howard wondered how Spitzer thought he was going to get away with this stuff. He said that the guy is the son of a man who came up in the streets who was a developer type. He said the guy is worth about a billion dollars so Spitzer kind of grew up as a boy of privilege. He said he grew up in private schools and stuff like that. He went to Harvard. Howard said that his father was hoping for his son to be the first Jewish President and that's what they groomed him for.
Howard said that he tried to do that with his daughter by telling her he wanted her to be a lawyer. He said that she told him ''fuck you'' when he told her that so he doesn't get the respect that some fathers do. He said that Spitzer's family wanted him to get into politics and to make it big. He's been around for a long time at 48 years old and maybe Spitzer didn't really want to get into politics like his father wanted him to.
Howard said that if you really want to make it big as a governor and maybe become President, you don't risk it like this guy has. He said that his family is worth a billion dollars so he doesn't have to worry so much about losing his job. He said that it could be a big ''F-You'' to his dad for all they know.
Artie said that some people just can't control themselves no matter what position they're in. That could be what screwed him up.
Howard said that he'd love to see what goes on in the house when Spitzer tries to fix things with his wife. He said that would make a great reality show. He said that his wife is a beauty and she now has to deal with this stuff. He said he'd like to know how he convinced his wife to come up on stage with him while he was talking about this stuff.
Howard said that Spitzer has 3 daughters and he can't imagine walking back into the house after doing something like that. Robin said that the daughters looked like they loved their father but she can't imagine what they were actually thinking. Robin said that the wife was looking like she'd just been hit by a train. They talked about how she used to smile all the time but yesterday she wasn't smiling at all and looked like she'd aged 20 years.
Robin said that there was another story about a Mayor in Detroit who had his wife up on stage with him when he was talking about something he'd done wrong and she's not sure why they drag them up on stage. Gary said that Spitzer hasn't resigned yet so if she's not there when he makes a statement, he's got no chance at all.
Gary said he was looking at Spitzer's wife and thinking that maybe she's just not fucking him the way he needs to be fucked. Howard said that they've been together for 23 years and maybe things are just getting old. The guy probably just wanted some strange. Robin said that he should go to the wife and tell her that he needs something new but he doesn't want to screw up the family.
Howard said he still doesn't get why the guy thought he was going to get away with this whole thing. The guys talked about how much of a fluke it was that he got caught. Howard pointed out that Jerry Springer was a mayor of a city until he wrote a check to a hooker and got caught.
Howard said that he's still trying to figure out how Spitzer got caught. Fred thinks that someone dropped the dime on him and busted him. Howard said that he thinks that maybe the taxes thing got him caught. He was doing all kinds of strange things to pay these women and maybe that's what got him busted.
Artie said that he's pretty much a whore expert and you never haggle about a price. He said that the girls just aren't rational people. He said that's why he paid that one chick her $500 even though he didn't know that she was a whore. He said that he just wanted to get her out of there without a problem.
Howard was reading about the $4300 that Spitzer had paid this one chick. He ended up sticking her on a train to send her back down to Washington DC. He didn't even send her on the nice train, he just stuck her on the cheap one.
Gary asked if you're supposed to tip a whore. Artie said that's not necessary. Gary said it would be a weird thing to tip on. Howard said that you just don't haggle with a whore but that money that Spitzer paid was a lot of money. He said that he must have had to have guaranteed her 4 hours or something since he brought her up from DC.
Howard asked the guys if they think that Spitzer will resign. Robin, Gary and Artie all said that he will. Fred said that he should stay on because it's more fun if he does. Howard said that he thinks that he's done because he's compromising the office with this kind of stuff.
Howard said that it started with the weird financial transactions. Robin said that they're not going to say that it came from a tip even if it did. Dominic and Robin were arguing with him saying that it may not have just been that money transfer. Dominic talked about how many bank transactions happen every day and how that shouldn't put up a red flag. Howard disagreed and said that it was tied to a government official so that's why it would case a red flag.
Howard said that they could have thought that it was some kind of bribe or something going on. That could have led to the investigation and Spitzer getting busted. Howard said he didn't want to argue with Dominic about this all day. Dominic told Howard some details about the story and he thinks that he had some money transferred from that account or wrote a check and that's what could have gotten him busted.
Howard said that he had no idea who the Lieutenant Governor was. He said that he just learned that it was a black, blind guy. He said it was actually a surprise that Spitzer chose the guy because he didn't back him in the election. That means that this guy might become the governor as early as today.
Howard talked about this Lieutenant Governor guy and how he went blind when he was just 3 months old. He said that he heard about his family sending him to a regular school and how he never learned brail. He just had audio books and people reading to him.
Howard said that the prostitute will probably end up getting book deals and end up on FOX news as a news anchor. Dominic said that they're going to be paying her a lot of money to find out the whole story behind this.
Howard said that Spitzer is going to take a beating on this one. Some people think he should keep his job because in other countries they get away with behavior like that. Howard said that his judgment is questionable after this but maybe he could be governor and continue to do a good job.
Riley Martin called in and said that he's glad that they still have men who like pussy. Howard said that he's right. Riley said that it's 51 percent women in this country and those extra women can't be left unfucked. He said that some people will go out of their way to give a young lady a nice fuckin. He said that there are a lot of boy fucking,petty, blood sucking mother fuckers down in Washington DC but this guy was with women at least. Howard thanked him for that and went to some more calls.
A woman called in and asked about why they're not letting this guy get away with this while Mayor Marion Barry got away with what he did and got reelected.
Howard gave Riley a plug for his show which is on tonight at midnight. He took a call from King of All Blacks who asked what unsafe act was that Spitzer wanted to do with the chick. He thought that it was shitting on her or something. Howard said that it could have been as simple as fucking without a condom but there was some mention of S&M so it could have had to do with that.
King said that he knows that Howard never wore a wedding band when he was married and he wondered if he'd wear one with Beth. Howard said he's thinking of getting a tattoo or another ring. He said that he could make the ring he's wearing now his wedding ring. King said that it would be very disrespectful if he started to wear a ring now if he didn't wear one in the past. Howard hung up on him and told him that was silly. He's not going to base the new marriage on what he did in the past.
Gary came in and told Howard about how Jerry Springer tried to run for Governor after his prostitution bust. He had an audio clip of Springer talking about his bust and how he wanted to run for Ohio governor. He wanted to turn the state around and he was running on the fact that he had been busted.
Howard took another call from a guy who aids that he's tired of these politicians who get caught doing the things that they claim to be against. Howard said that they all have to act like they're above all of this stuff but they're all human. He said that they make mistakes. He said that the guy is still capable of being governor, but he just can't stay in that office. He said he looks pervy now and he won't be able to keep the job being looked at that way.
Howard said that you really don't want the job if you're going to take risks like that. Artie said that he would never risk his job by going on heroin and missing a week of work or anything like that.
Howard said that he's actually not even sure how great of a governor this guy was. He didn't know a lot of what he had been up to. Robin said that he really wasn't doing all that great of a job from what she was reading.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he heard that maybe Spitzer was into this Pittsburgh Platter type of thing with the prostitute. Howard said he knew a guy who liked that. He said it's mostly white guys who are into weird stuff like that.
Gary asked if she's going to leave because of what happened or the fact that she has to deal with the whole aftermath. Howard said that she doesn't need to be in this and she'll get out.
Robin said that Spitzer should have had some woman on the side that wouldn't screw him over like this. Howard read that he didn't even lock his door for this whore. He said that they must have security cameras in the halls of the hotel too so he could have been busted over something like that.
Howard started to sing a song from Fiddler on the Roof doing it as if he were Spitzer singing to his wife. That led to Howard reading a story about Spitzer's wife Silda and where that name came from.
Howard said that he'd like to try and act this out as if he were Spitzer talking to his wife. He had Robin pretending to be Silda. He went into the story about how he was about to be busted for doing something horrible. Howard said he's not good with stuff like that himself but he wanted to try and act it out. He broke the news to Robin saying that they were going to get out of the governor's mansion soon because of something that was going on and then said the good news was that he was gay. Then he'd say ''no, no, no... that's not it'' and break the news to her in another way. He said that you give her the worst news you can and then give her the real news.
Howard, as Spitzer, broke the news to Robin, telling her that this news was about to become public. Robin, as Silda, said she was going home to her mother. Howard told her that he knew that he had screwed up their whole thing. He and Robin played their parts for a couple of minutes. They went back and forth working out the whole thing. Howard ended up telling his wife that she needs a coffee enema but forgot that Robin was playing the part of Silda, not playing herself. That then went into Howard talking about drinking the coffee from that enema and the guys in the studio letting out a sigh of disgust when they heard that.
Howard changed his tune and did his Spitzer part as if he was the pre-therapy Howard Stern. He blamed everything on the woman instead of taking any of the blame himself. He then gave Silda a bag with half of his money in it. Fred played a car peeling out sound effect after Howard gave her the money bag.
Robin said that she'd like to know what's in every other politician's closet after hearing this story. She said that Spitzer's father is going to be pissed about the kind of money he spent on his campaign.
Howard went back into that acting out Spitzer telling his wife bit and told her that they were out as governor and the black, blind guy was going to take over for him. He told her that they were going to make it possible to have a black governor in New York.
Howard said that Erica Ellyson is coming in too. She was one of the girls who was at Letterman with Artie that night that Vinnie Favale fucked up Artie's relationship with Dana. Artie didn't remember which one she was or if she was the one who was supposed to give him the hand job.
Howard said that chick Erica is really hard core too. He was watching some of her movies and saw her doing this blow bang thing and it was just random guys who weren't shaved down or anything. He said that one of the guys took his penis and started whacking her in the head with it telling her to blow him. She was in the middle of blowing another guy while that guy was pounding her on the head. Howard played some audio from Erica's movie where she's begging a guy to do her while moaning and screaming.
Howard said that he has sex on his mind 24 hours a day and he likes to read these stories about guys like Spitzer because it shows that they're thinking about the same thing. He said that he uses that story against Beth telling her that if he doesn't get sex every other day at least then he might end up just like Spitzer.
Howard mentioned that Pete Burns from the band Dead or Alive is going to be calling in later in the show from England. He said they were talking about him the other day and found out that he became a woman. He played some of their music and went to break a short time later.
The caller said that she's constantly talking about her dieting and the stuff she drinks. Robin said that people ask her about it and she'll respond. She doesn't bring it up herself. The caller pointed out some stuff that she does bring up on her own. Robin called him an idiot as Howard was hanging up on the guy.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he heard the commercial for this Ashley Madison web site that they promote on the show. He said that he's been considering doing something like that because his wife doesn't blow him or let him eat her out or anything like that. He said that they've been married for 8 years. Howard said that maybe she doesn't like it. He said that she just lays there. Howard asked if she makes noise during sex. He said she does a little bit. Artie told him that maybe she just doesn't dig him.
Robin said it sounds like she just wants him to get it over with and she's just doing her duty and getting it done with. Howard said that maybe she's just into the intercourse part and doesn't want the oral. the guy said that she used to be really sexually active but after the kid was born, it all went downhill. He said that it's getting worse and worse. He said that he's thinking about the Ashley Madison web site but he was wondering if Howard would ever do something like that.
Howard said that Beth doesn't enjoy some stuff he'd like to do but she does bang him a lot so he's pretty satisfied there. He said that he'd get out of the marriage immediately if she wasn't into sex at all. Robin said that this guy is saying that he loves everything but the fact that he doesn't get sex. Howard told him to get out then.
Howard said that he has to tell this woman that he wants to have sex but she's not satisfying him. Howard told the guy that he'd tell her for him if he wanted. The guy said that was okay, he didn't want to do that. Howard told the guy he has to tell the woman what he's thinking. He said that he has to tell her that he wants to be with her and not some other woman but she has to do something for him. He said that he has to be honest and tell her that he needs sex and if she's not into him then she has to let him go out and find someone to fuck.
The guy said that he meets a lot of different women out on the road driving a truck. Howard said that you have to put up with a lot of shit out on the road like that. He said that the guy sounds like a decent guy and he deserves something nice from his wife.
Howard said that maybe the guy and his wife should go to therapy and if things don't work out, maybe they should split up. He said that the cheating thing may not solve anything, it may make things even worse. He said that a lot of guys cheat and kind of block it out. The truth is that they feel guilty all the time.
Robin said that she met a threesome, a husband, wife and secretary, and they all came to her at different times of the day and told her their side of the story. They were all miserable and wanted the others to let the others go. She said it was a nightmare. Howard said that's what could happen to this guy if he starts cheating.
Howard said that it's really tough and it depends on what road you want to go down. He told the caller to go home and talk to his wife honestly about this stuff.
The caller, Mike, said that his wife told him that she had a hormone rush after their kid was born and that's why she's not into sex that much. Howard told him that's bullshit and he should just go home and talk to her tonight. He let him go after that. Robin asked Artie if he and Dana are still talking. Artie laughed and said ''No.''
Lisa had a story about Beth O telling her that she has a few designers in mind for her wedding dress. Howard told her that she just told her that because she's trying to get her off her back.
Lisa said that they have a Page 69 story about Jackie asking for interns for his show which is only one hour a week. Gary said that he heard about that and he asked for multiple interns and had no explanation for why he needed them. That led to Howard goofing on Jackie for a short time.
Bree said that she'd even give up the porn for him. She had something on her breasts that the guys noticed so they asked her what was going on there. She said that she hadn't checked them earlier. She and Erica had been messing around in the bathroom earlier so it may have been some lipstick or something.
Howard asked to see Bree's breasts so she whipped them out for him. Howard said they were nice but then got right back into the discussion about how she couldn't possibly be into him. Howard said that he finds it very hard to believe when he sees the guys that she's doing in the porn.
Howard said that Bree is into chicks so that would be one positive about dating her. He said that her sexuality is really intense too. He said that she sticks a finger in her ass when she's having sex and stuff and it seems like she's really into stuff like that. She said she is.
Howard talked to Bree about what it would be like if they were a couple. He said that he figures that everything would go in the bedroom. She agreed with that and said she really loves to do oral and things like that. She said that you can't hide that in movies and stuff.
Howard said that Bree was on a reality show as a nanny and that showed how weird these reality shows are. She's no nanny and she had no business being one. He asked how she ended up in ''Keeping up With the Kardashians.'' She said that she was asked by her agency to do it. She didn't think that people would recognize her. Howard said it makes it seem like these shows are scripted. She said she couldn't say anything about that because she didn't want to get into trouble. Howard said that it's obvious that she's acting there because she's a porn star.
Howard said that Bruce Jenner got all freaked out when he found out who Bree was. She said that he was actually a very nice man. Howard said that he's a freaky looking dude but Bree wouldn't say a negative word about him.
Howard asked Bree about the movie he was talking about earlier where the guy was bonking her on the head with this penis to get her to blow him. Howard said that he'd be worried about STDs while doing stuff like that. She said that they all get tested frequently so she figures she's fine.
Howard said that Erica is the chick who said that she was going to give Artie a hand job the last time she was on. Howard said that she said that she thought Artie was in his 50s and that's too old for her. She said that was taken out of context. Howard said she did say it though. She said that she's never really dated anyone older than 2 years older than her.
Howard asked Bree about this French guy who banged her for over an hour and a half when she was starting out in the business. She said that it was pretty brutal. Erica said that she can't imagine that for nearly that much time. Robin said she couldn't take it for that long either. She said that the guy who did her in San Francisco wasn't in there for very long at all. Howard figured that maybe the guy was gay and that's why he stayed in there so long.
Howard heard that Bree really likes to have phone sex with her fans and stuff. She said that she does that on her web cam and she once had sex with her phone when a guy asked her to stick it in her pussy. She told Howard about some other stuff that she's done and that led to Howard asking her to dance for JD to demonstrate what he lap dances were like. She wanted to do it for Howard but he told her that he's about to get married.
Howard had JD come in and told Bree that he's his son. She said that she'd feel really weird about dancing for him if that would become her step-son some day. Bree still didn't want to dance for JD even though Howard told her that she couldn't dance for him.
JD said that he was going to go back to his office and kill himself now. Howard told him to stick around and try out some phone sex with her instead. JD didn't sound too interested in that either.
Howard asked Erica about being in Penthouse magazine. She said that they get paid about $100,000 a year when they become a Pet of the Year. Howard asked her about meeting Bree early this morning and how they ended up in the bathroom making out. They said they just met and had some fun in there. They explained how they were helping each other get ready for the show and when Bree went to fix Erica's panties, they started to mess around.
Howard asked about who was doing what. They said that they just kissed and maybe brushed over the panties. They weren't getting too X-rated, just R-rated.
Howard said that he and Artie used to go into the bathroom and fix each other's underwear and stuff. He said that they'd just brush over their underwear and stuff, they never really acted on it. Howard said that he wonders what their lives are like because it sounds very sexual.
Howard asked Erica if she heard what she was responsible for. He told her about Artie's relationship with the ''long suffering'' Dana that night that she was going to Letterman with Artie. Howard said that Erica agreed to give Artie a hand job and Vinnie Favale at the Letterman show accidentally e-mailed Dana and told her about what was going to happen that night.
Erica said that she felt really bad because Artie was really upset. Artie said that he found out on the ride to Letterman what had happened and he flipped out on Teddy at first. Erica said that it was a very intense ride. Artie said that Dana is now done ''suffering.'' Artie figured that it never would have happened with Erica anyway.
Erica said that she didn't hook up with anyone that night but Artie started to say that the girls had hooked up with someone. Howard heard that Erica said that she would hook up with Teddy but not Artie. Howard asked Teddy to come in after that. Artie was laughing when he heard that.
Howard heard that Erica hung out with Pauly Shore recently. She told Howard that she didn't do anything with him but he has been asking her to hang out with him.
Howard gave the girls a plug for the March issue of Penthouse magazine and said that they're going to be appearing at the Romantic Depot in Paramus, New Jersey tomorrow night from 6-8pm. He said that you can get Bree's DVDs at PenthouseStore.com.
Howard asked the girls what they would look like making out together. He wanted them to do it but they really didn't want to do it. Erica passed her gum over to Bree and Bree chewed that for a second and then went in for the kiss. They made out for a few seconds. Howard said that they really know how to make out. He figured that was the real deal then.
Howard asked the girls to take their tops off so they did that and made out some more. Erica had to take her whole dress off. They made out a little more and then Howard wrapped up and went to break.
The guys saw a picture of Pete from the reality show and he had weird lip injections. Howard said that you can look him up on YouTube and see the yellow goo that was coming out of his lips. He had to have all kinds of reconstructive surgery on his lips because of that.
Artie said that he has something strange going on with his eyes too. Howard said that was red eye liner or something.
Howard said that Gary contacted his people and managed to get in contact with the guy. It turns out that he is aware of him and he's apparently a fan. He read both of his books and he likes the black woman on the show. Howard said that must be Fred he's talking about.
Howard played Pete's song ''You Spin Me Round'' and sang along to it a little bit. He said that he still talks with a male voce even though he's had a sex change operation. Fred threw in some Curly clips from the Three Stooges while they were playing the song. Howard also played Richard's ''Brown Mound'' song parody to the tune of that Dead or Alive song. Artie said they really have to give it up for Richard because of that song.
Howard read that they were having trouble getting in touch with Pete so he figured they'll never get him on the line.
Howard said that the Killers of comedy show was out doing a show recently and one of the guys was supposed to watch Beetlejuice. Beet ended up disappearing and ended up getting a giant Howard Stern tattoo. Howard showed Robin the picture of the tattoo and she said it was very big. Howard said that he's not sure if that's right to do something like that on a guy who's like Beetlejuice.
Howard said that Ross Zaipen was at a Bruce Springsteen concert trying to be funny and telling the crowd that Artie was there and it was just some fat guy there. Howard said that Ross was picking on him all night from what he heard. Artie said that he's better looking than that guy so he was upset with Ross over that.
Howard said that he was on this web site where they sell underwear and you can pick the chick that you want to model the clothes. The model walks out and models the clothes for you. He said that it's pretty cool because you can check out her ass by clicking on her.
Howard said that the site is called KnickerPicker.com. He had the guys demonstrating it on the monitor in the studio. They were going through some of the clothes and having the models showing them off for them. Howard said that they have a heavier chick on there and you can pick the type of woman you want to model the stuff. Howard said he could do without the fat chick on that site.
Howard read some news about Oprah's new TV show that lost some ratings this past weekend. He was happy to hear that.
Mark from Jersey City called in and said that he'd like to see JD going out and doing some celebrity interviews or something. Gary told him that they're actually working on that already.
Howard said that High Pitch Mike is on Jared's side in this battle with JD. He said that Mike posted some comments about JD and said that he finds him to be an asshole and thinks that Jared is a really nice guy. JD came in and said he didn't know that Mike was talking about him like that and figured that he was just doing it to get on the air.
Fred ended up playing a bell sound whenever JD said ''Whatever, I don't know or You know.'' The bell was going off quite a bit.
Richard came in and said that he went out to a bar one night not too long ago and this chick wanted to find a hot guy to make out with that night before she went home to California. She ended up getting stuck between High Pitch Mike and JD. She left after about 20 minutes since she wasn't going to find any hot guys.
Howard played a clip of JD trying to do a celebrity interview at the AVN awards. JD was asking questions but stumbling over them like crazy. Howard said that was one of the greatest interviews of all time.
Howard said that they should get High Pitch Mike in there later to talk about his hatred for JD. He thought he had Pete Burns on the phone but Will told him it was going to be another 5 minutes or so.
The guys ended up talking about Leonard Cohen and how he had no business being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before some other bands. The Moody Blues were mentioned and Howard just happened to have the Moody Blues (Sour Shoes) on the phone so he let him play a little bit before getting back to the Lou Reed thing.
Howard played more of the Lou Reed clip where he was reading lyrics from some Leonard Cohen songs. Howard played some other clips of Leonard Cohen accepting his award and sounding just as boring as the lyrics that Lou Reed were reading. Howard said that he doesn't know any Leonard Cohen music at all. Fred said that the guy should have just written poetry instead of boring people with his lyrics in music.
Fred played a Leonard Cohen song and Howard asked who is into that shit. He asked Fred to hand him a gun so he could shoot himself. They spent a little more time talking about that before Gary came in and said that they had Pete Burns on the phone.
Pete said that he didn't have the operation and he hasn't become a woman. He said that he still has a penis and he doesn't want to get rid of it. Howard asked him to hit his penis on the phone to prove he's still got it. Pete laughed.
Howard asked Pete how old he was when he put out his song ''You Spin Me Round.'' Pete said that was back in 1985. He put some other songs out after that but it wasn't easy to deal with corporate America.
Pete said that he doesn't call himself a transvestite and said that he doesn't label himself anything like that. He was actually married for 28 years to a woman and then went out and got married to a man. Pete said that he doesn't see gender and fell in love with a guy.
Howard asked Pete if he has titties. Pete thought he said ''kiddies'' and said his man has a 10 year old. Howard thought that he had boobs but Pete said that he doesn't.
Howard said he saw that Pete had a problem with his lips and asked about that. Pete said that he almost died over that and he can't really joke about it. He said that he's getting into a lawsuit over that and he can't joke about it. He said that he had a lot of problems about 4 years after the lip injections he got. Then he had to spend 2 years getting operations to save his face. He said that this is going to be an ongoing thing and he's not sure if he's ever going to be able to stop. He said he had to stop singing for those 2 years and he'll never get those 2 years back.
Howard asked about the size of his lips and he said that's the way he wanted them. He asked him about growing up and if any kids made fun of him in school. Pete said that he was raised in a place that was very isolated and he didn't have very many kids around. It was usually him at home with his parents.
Pete talked about how he couldn't live at home and ended up leaving home early and moved into a city. He was raped by a man when he was only 13 years old. Pete said he didn't say no to the guy and the guy kind of forced it on him. Howard asked about that and how it all came about. Pete said that he was flirting with the guy and that's what happened there. Howard asked if that guy put it in his ass. Pete said that his wife has probably put a finger up his ass. Howard said that doesn't happen.
Artie asked Pete if he makes a sound when he has a finger up his ass and quoted part of his ''You Spin Me Right Round'' song where he sings ''Ahhhh AHHH ahhhh ahh AHH AHHHHHHHH.''
Pete told Howard that he was a fan of his two books and found them very entertaining. Howard thanked Pete for that and then told him about the video he saw of him on the internet where he had the yellow stuff coming out of them.
Pete said that all of this surgery that people have done is dangerous and people should be careful with what they do. He said that he's had botox injections and never had a problem with it. He said that there are a lot of doctors out there who aren't qualified for doing that kind of stuff and that's where the problem is.
Pete said that he just recently performed at a gig for the first time in 5 years. He said he's working on some other stuff as well. Howard said that he thinks that Pete could end up on an American reality show and he'd be a big star again. He told him about Flavor Flav coming on his show and getting a reality show. He said that someone will offer Pete a show and he'll take it. Pete said that he really doesn't need the money so he doesn't need to do that stuff. Pete said he made some good money with his albums and the success he had in Japan.
Howard thought Pete lost a lot of his money with the surgery he had to do on his face. He said that will all come back to him with this lawsuit. He said that if he was in America he's probably have that money already. He said that the lawyers are not quite as fierce over there as they are in America.
Howard asked Pete if he takes it in his ass with men. Pete said he does but he figures that Howard has done the same when he's drunk. Howard asked him a few more questions about wearing lingerie and things like that. Pete said that was none of his business when he asked about what he wears in the bedroom.
Howard told Pete to come in there the next time he's in America. Pete said that he will even though people have told him to stay away from him. Howard said that he can't imagine that Pete would be scared of him. He's not Adolf Hitler or anything.
Howard gave Pete a plug for his web site DeadOrAlive.net. Pete said that he's had a lot of success around the world and he doesn't need that success in America. Howard said he sounds a little bitter. Pete said that he just wants a nice, quiet life.
Pete asked Howard why Anna Nicole took offense to him. Howard explained to him that he had asked her about her weight one time and she got upset about that and refused to get on his ''stupid weigh machine.'' Robin finally chimed in and said something and Pete told her that he thought that she'd come to her senses and got out of there finally. He said that he was a big fan of hers when he used to watch her on TV. Howard wrapped up with Pete a short time later. Pete told him that it was a real privilege to talk to him to day and he really appreciated that.
Howard said he was shocked and thought that Pete had gone all the way with the operation getting his cock removed. He said that he didn't know that he still had it. Howard took a call from a guy who said that it looked like Pete had taken a shit in this picture they looked at on the web where he was showing his balls. They spent a minute on that and then had some more fun with that song ''You Spin Me Round.'' Howard said he should have played Pete that song parody that Richard made. He figured that he wouldn't have gotten it since he's not actually there in the studio.