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Howard started off the show wondering where to begin with so much to talk about. He said he hadn't been on SternFanNetwork for like 4-6 months and he made the mistake of going on. He said someone had posted how boring it was to hear Scott DePace arguing politics. He went to his shrink after that and talked about that with him. He said the shrink understands it but Howard took it as if he sucks and it's time to end the show. He said he can't handle that stuff. Howard said his shrink thinks that he wants everything to be good or he's like a big baby. Howard said that as long as his shrink isn't posting on that site, he'll be fine.
Howard read the article where Johnson said Howard talked about how he was getting cold feet about his wedding. Howard said he never said that, he was just talking about the wedding coming up and the guest list stuff. Howard said that they're sure they're not going to have Sal at the wedding because Beth saw Sal's roast of her on YouTube and she got upset about that all over again.
Howard asked Gary to get Beth on the phone so he could talk to her about this. He said that he's in love with this girl and this article is going to mean more to her than what he actually thinks. Robin said that Howard never said that he had cold feet about the wedding, he was getting cold feet about the wedding because of all of the pressure.
Gary had Beth on the line and she told Howard she knew he was going to call. She said that this article is annoying because she knows that's not the way Howard is thinking. Robin told Beth they were just joking around about that stuff when Howard talked about his cold feet. Howard said he doesn't know what Richard Johnson's problem is with him. He has him on the show sometimes and he still writes this stuff about him.
Howard read more of the article where he reports on the ''cold feet'' comment. They talked about how weird it was that Richard was writing this stuff. Howard told Gary to try and get Richard on the phone. He didn't want him to call his home number so he told him to just try the cell. Howard said he has to get to the bottom of why the guy is trying to wreck his life.
A caller told Howard that this was boring and he should put Eric the Midget on the phone. Howard said that he has to straighten this out. The guy pointed out that Howard did say he was getting cold feet. Howard said it was just the wedding planning, not getting married to Beth that he was getting cold feet over.
Howard told Beth he loves her and he does want to get married to her. He said they haven't even figured out what kind of wedding they want to do yet. Howard said that they'll get married and then everyone can write about how miserable he is with other stuff.
Beth said there was another article where Johnson dissesd him somehow. He can't remember exactly what that one was about. Beth told Howard she's fine and she loves him. She had to get going to the gym. Howard told her to get going because he doesn't want to see any cellulite on her. He was kidding around of course and he knows that will end up in the paper too.
Artie said that cellulite comment could end up in the paper and make him look pretty bad too. Howard took another phone call and the caller told him that he's too good for Beth and this wedding thing isn't going to work out. Howard thanked the guy for saying that but didn't even understand what he was saying. The guy said that they're both too good for each other and it wasn't going to work out. He said that he actually wants Beth for himself so that's why he was saying that. Howard said he still doesn't know what the agenda is there with Richard Johnson.
Howard said his mother felt so frail. He said she told him she felt she broke something but she was actually talking about her glasses. He said everyone got upset but she was able to get up within about 10 minutes. They went to the hospital and gave her some x-rays and she was fine. She did have to get some stitches in her leg but she's going to be okay.
Howard said his mother got his fortune cookie and it said to her ''Things are not going to go your way.'' She figured that's what the fortune was telling her about. Howard said that she should sue the fortune cookie maker. They're supposed to be positive, not negative like that. Howard said that she and his father both read the fortune. He said that his father told her that they should never read fortune cookies.
Howard said that all fortunes are supposed to be positive from what he's heard about the fortune cookie makers. She got up from her fall and said she knew it was that fortune cookie that did it. Howard said that his father was saying that the fortune cookie upset her so that's why she should never read it. He doesn't believe that it actually caused her to fall though.
Howard said that it was really tough to see his mother so frail and suffering like that for two seconds. He said it was killing him inside. He said he can see why Artie is so fucked up from having his father confined to a bed for years. Artie said he was just 18 when his father fell off the roof. He died when he was 22. Howard said he should really go see a shrink after going through that.
Howard said his mother's hearing is going and she couldn't hear a lot of what was going on. He had to yell out his answers to her and stuff like that. He was also talking about a woman in the hospital who was yelling for more morphine and his mother wasn't even able to hear that. He said he was listening to that and trying to pay attention to his mother. He said his mother is on a lot of medications and getting older just sucks dick. He said it really bummed him out.
Howard said the weekend was just shitty. Artie said that he respects the celebrities who disappear and don't let people see them anymore. Howard said that Clint Eastwood should do that. He talked about how they show his varicose veins and man-tits in the tabloids. He said some of the tabloids just have no class and they should just leave him alone.
Artie talked about his father and how awful his father looked after he fell and broke his neck. He said that it was a big shock that this was one of his parents. Howard told him that he really needs to go talk about that with a shrink.
Robin said that she's seen people see their family members after open heart surgery and they'd faint when they saw how awful they looked.
Howard said he was trying to buy his parents a new TV, a nice flat screen, but they're giving him a hard time about it. He said his mother was saying she didn't want to deal with change right now because his mother is hurt right now. He said they didn't want a DVD player either but now they love it.
King of All Blacks called in and said he knows what Howard means about this. He said it's almost like a preview of what's going to happen eventually. Howard said it really was horrible and he replayed that in his head over and over. He said he should have kept an eye on his mother but he just didn't do it.
King talked about his mother having a stroke after his brother died but Howard cut him off and said that no one cares to hear about his life. He hung up on him. Artie said that King should get his own show if he wants to talk about that stuff.
Another caller told Howard that he should stop crying because it's depressing. Howard told the guy that the whole show is about his complaining. The caller said that he loves the show and he doesn't need to talk about this stuff like the Page Six stuff. The caller didn't care about that but Howard said that he cares himself, that's why he's talking about it. That's what the show is about.
Howard explained how OJ was arrested out in Las Vegas after he broke into a room and tried to steal back some stuff he claims was stolen from him. Howard said that he was trying to get back the suit that he wore on the day he was acquitted and a bunch of other stuff. Howard said he read that the stuff wasn't worth more than a few hundred bucks though. Robin said she read that the suit was valued up to $10,000 though.
Howard read the list of stuff that OJ was trying to steal back and it was a bunch of bullshit stuff. Howard said that this is the same guy who wrote a book about the way he killed his wife. That led to the guys talking about how the Brown's have been on TV lately talking about that book and how it's really like a confession.
Gary said that one of OJ's guys recorded some of what went on during that night when OJ was trying to take back his stuff. This recording was done in the room shortly before they entered the room to take this stuff back. Howard played the clip where OJ is telling asking the guys if they think they can steal his stuff and not have him come after them. OJ was yelling at them and sounded very scary, like he did in the old 911 tapes when his wife used to call when he was yelling at her.
Robin said that they're comparing this to a home invasion. Because of the value of this stuff, OJ could go to jail for 35 years from what Howard has read. Robin said that OJ sounded like he was the one in control there and he was the leader of the pack.
Gary said that Marcia Clark was talking about how OJ was leaving behind all of this evidence but he did that in the murder case as well and he still got off. Howard said that he feels bad for Marcia because she gets blamed for screwing up that case but she really didn't. He thinks that it was the wacky jury that let OJ off.
The guys talked about how it seems like OJ likes the attention he's getting over this whole thing. He's doing everything wrong and talking to reporters and stuff like that. He's even been seen smiling to the reporters after going through all of this.
A caller said that there's no way OJ is getting out of this one because there's so much evidence in this case. Robin said that there's a lot of stuff coming out about this story and at first they were saying there were no guns but then they were saying there were guns but OJ didn't know about them. No one is saying that OJ had a gun himself though.
Howard asked the guys how much time they think OJ will get. Robin said 12 years, Fred said no time. Robin said there's no way he's getting off with no time this time. Fred said he's sticking with that though. He said that they have tape this time and so much evidence. Fred said they had a lot of stuff in the murder case too.
Howard said that OJ's new motto could be something like ''If it was not stolen, OJ is golden.'' Robin said that OJ is admitting that he was at this robbery so he could get convicted easily. She's sticking with that 12 year prediction and doesn't think that the black community will turn against him. Howard said he thinks that the black community will say that the cops are framing him.
Howard said he thinks that OJ will get 3 years or so when he gets convicted. Robin said that he's in big trouble and it's going to be more than that.
Joey Boots called in and said that they charged another guy with robbery but let him out a short time later. He thinks that guy may have turned on OJ and that's why he got out so quick. He said they have a lot of stuff against OJ and he's so happy about that. He's hoping that Melrose Larry Green goes out there and stands outside the courthouse yelling about OJ being guilty. Melrose was on the phone too so Howard put him on. Melrose said that he will be out there doing that and he's hoping that Howard brings his show out there at the same time.
Joey said that this is going to be great for the Goldman family because they'll finally get to see OJ go to jail. He said the guy is a piece of shit and he needs to go to jail. Melrose said that he'll be outside the court yelling ''Hello Armed Robber!'' over and over again.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he got out of surgery last week and found out OJ was arrested. He said that was a big surprise to him. He went on to talk about how OJ could make a deal to avoid time in jail. He could bring it down to 1 or 2 years. Robin said she still hopes that it's 12. Dominic said that there are weapons in this case so that could force him to serve a minimum amount of time. He said that it's much more serious than some people think.
Dominic said that he'd be taking a plea if he were OJ. If he does that he could avoid some time in jail. He said that the judge may be forced to give him a minimum amount of time. Fred asked if OJ says he didn't know about the guns, could he get off. Dominic said that's an interesting question. He gave some details on robbery and what the courts will be looking at when it comes to that stuff.
Robin said that the timing of this is right around the time his book was released. Dominic said that the only reason OJ should have gone into that room was if he thought that he was going to save a life. He went on to talk about the armed robbery description and how you don't have to have a weapon on you to get charged with that. He said that just the way he was yelling at those people could do it. He also said that the conspiracy is what's going to get OJ even if the weapons charges don't hit him.
Dominic said that they're probably trying to dig up Johnny Cochran right now to get him to the trial. Robin said that this trial could go on for a long time. Howard said that they have to televise it. He figures they have to get it up this fall for the ratings sweeps.
Howard took a call from Daniel Carver who wanted to comment on the case. He said that it takes just one black person sitting on a jury to hang the jury. He said that OJ will get off because of that. He said that it doesn't matter what evidence they have against him. The jury will get him off. Daniel was going on and on about how they will never convict him because all blacks stick together. Robin said that if that was the case, then all blacks would get off. Daniel said that it's just the famous blacks who get off. He was using the N-word to describe them of course. He is in the Ku Klux Klan after all.
Howard asked Daniel why he doesn't have his messages anymore. Daniel said that he's trying to get out a little more and spends time in casinos and stuff now. He's getting too old to do those messages now. He's 57 and trying to enjoy life a little more. Robin said that he might be trying to calm down with that but it does seem to rear it's ugly head sometimes.
Howard said that Daniel's wife is the real racist there and they should get her opinion on this whole thing. He said that he wanted to hear her going off on them so he asked Gary to get them back on the line. Howard said that they have his Cribs show up on Howard TV. That led to him talking about this Miss Howard Stern special that they shot for Howard TV and how they might have a special premiere held at a theater or something.
Gary told Howard he had Daniel's wife Darlene on the phone to comment on this OJ thing. Darlene started throwing the N-word out there and didn't know that Daniel was softening up. She said that she thinks that all blacks are bad and that's her opinion on all of that. She said that she's happy to see this OJ thing happening. She said that she'd hang OJ with a rope if she were on the jury.
Howard asked Darlene what she'd do with blacks in this country if she had the chance. She said she'd put them on a boat and sink the boat. She was also saying that Robin would be on that boat. Artie asked her what she would choose, to have no black people or no Jews on this planet. She said that was tough and said that she'd have to keep Howard. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later and said that she's a racist's racist. Howard said she was actually kind of charming in her own twisted way. She sounded very nice when she was talking about sinking the boat with all of the blacks on it.
Artie was doing an impression of Darlene talking about that stuff. They're so casual when they talk about it. Howard let him do that for a minute and then went to break after mentioning some of the stuff they had coming up today.
Howard said that he was into watching all of these guys playing. He mentioned a bunch of odd names for these guys so they were goofing on Howard about that. Howard said that one guy used the Scotch defense in his game so he explained how he uses that himself and gave them some of his moves.
Howard said that all of the grand masters know all of the opening moves of games so most of them are pretty average when they start. Then someone will change it up and change the whole game. Robin said she was lost after she heard that description.
The guys spent a few more minutes talking about the chess stuff. Howard changed subjects and said he was watching the Emmy's over the weekend. He and Robin talked about Ray Romano getting censored during one of his jokes. There was another clip where they cut away from a woman who just mouthed the word ''shit'' and even cut away from Sally Field when she said ''god damn.'' He said that it's gotten so bad with the FCC that they have to cut away from stuff like that.
Howard spoke to Janice, Tabitha's mother, who said that it's not strange to have a porn star daughter. Howard told Janice that he saw her daughter shoving a dildo in her anus the other night. He said that he was thinking that she was somebody's daughter. Janice said she will go to her daughter's web site but won't watch her movies. She said that her other kids are pretty normal. Howard asked her if something went wrong there. Janice just laughed when she heard that.
Howard read a quote from Tabitha where she said something about her family using her for her money. She said that she never said that about her mother, maybe her brother. She said that he's always a taker and he never shows any appreciation for the stuff she does for him.
Janice said that she has to refer to a sign that reminds her to call her daughter by her stage name, Tabitha, and not her real name. She said that she was kind of surprised when her daughter got into the business. She wasn't thrilled with it at first but she seems to be okay with it now. She said that she raised all of her kids the same and gave them a background that was good and stable. She said what they've done with their lives is up to them and she's proud of all of them.
Howard told Janice that he wanted to play a game and have her try and pick out her daughter's voice from some audio clips. Janice said that was going to be tough but he then went on to play some clips. The first clip was a woman yelling as she was getting slammed. Howard asked her if that was her daughter. She knew it wasn't her. Howard said that was actually Gianna so she was right. Howard played a second clip where a woman was getting banged and she thought it was her. It turned out to be Missy Monroe.
Robin asked if there was a prize for all of this. Gary gave Howard a $500 prize (Courtesy of ManGroomer.com) they could give away and told Janice she had to get the next three right to win. Howard then played another porn clip which wasn't Tabitha. Janice thought it was her. Howard let her play again and said that she had to get the next two right and he'd still give her the prize. She got the next one right so Howard played even more of that clip even thought Tabitha didn't want him to play anymore. Artie asked Howard to play some of her blowing a guy or licking an asshole.
Howard played the final clip and Janice said that it was her daughter but she was wrong again. Howard gave her the prize money anyway. He replayed some of her audio and some of the other clips as well. Artie wondered if she ever told her mother about making out with the guy who brushed his teeth with dog shit that one time. Janice said she never heard that one.
Howard said that Janice sounded very nice and she did win $500. He asked Tabitha if she was embarrassed by that whole thing. She said it was very embarrassing because it was her mother. Howard mentioned Tabitha's web site, TabithaStevens.com and said that there's a lot more hard core stuff on there now.
Howard said that Tabitha is trying to find guys for this movie she's going to be doing and today they're going to have three guys, hidden behind curtains, show their penises through a hole in the curtain. He said that Tabitha is doing a glory hole type of movie and she doesn't want to see the guy's she's doing. That's why they're finding these guys this way.
Howard had the first guy stick his penis through the hole in the curtain. Tabitha went over to look at the penis but the guy had some trouble sticking it through the curtain. It was very small so the guy had some trouble. Howard had number two stick his dick through. He was a little bigger with about 8 inches not erect. Howard said that he might be semi-aroused. She said that he might be aroused after taking a look again. The next guy stuck his dick through and she asked what she was seeing because it looked odd. She said that it looked like it was stuck to itself in some strange way.
Howard said that number 2 seemed to be the biggest one and the first guy was the smallest. Tabitha said she had to go with number 2 because of the business she's in. She said that he's a good size.
Howard had number 1 come out to say hello. It was High Pitch Eric. He said hello and got a kiss from Tabitha. He was the one having a hard time getting his cock through the curtain. Howard asked him if he feels bad about it. Eric didn't sound too happy. He said that his belly got in the way. He said he has lost some weight after he started working. He said he starts a new job tomorrow. Howard said that it would have been an asset to have him in the movie.
He had the third guy come out and it was Jeff the Vomit Guy. Jeff said he was disappointed and his whole life is disappointing. He said he was on his way there on the train and he was telling himself that he's everything that's wrong with America. He said he's got this curse of this fetish of Roman showers and he can't get away from that. He said he feels like a misfit. He said that he gets depressed sometimes and he can't even go to a dominatrix or anything because he doesn't have the money.
Howard suggested that Jeff go out with a Bulimic. Jeff said that he'd prefer to go out with someone who does it as a fetish, not someone who has a health problem. Robin asked him if he's tried anything normal. Jeff said that he's 50 years old now and he's always been awkward so nothing works out for him. He said he'd like to have a consolation prize or something. Howard told him that they'll have him back on the show after they find someone to vomit on him. He asked for some money but Howard said he wasn't going to pay for him to go to a dominatrix.
Artie told Jeff that if he and Eric want to go to lunch with him today, he can guarantee that he'll throw up. Howard asked Tabitha if she could puke on him. Tabitha said that she can't throw up on command. Artie old her to tongue kiss him and that might make her puke. She said she can't do that. Howard asked Jeff if he wanted Tabitha to spit on his cock. He said that he'd like her to do that so he agreed to do that. He asked her to give him a nice big spit and said that he would get a thrill out of that.
Tabitha went over and hocked up a good one for him. She spit on him and he sniffed it. Howard said he was rubbing it in on his belly and taking whiff of it. He said that there is a bit of a smell to saliva and that's what he was sniffing. Howard wrapped up with him and gave him a plug for HowardShrine.com.
Howard had the winner reveal himself. It turned out to be Big Foot Mark. Big Foot said that he works on his dick every night and pets it every night. Howard asked Tabitha if he turns her off at all. She aid that she actually likes him and he seems to have a gentleness about him. Howard had Tabitha model for him a little bit. He seemed to like what he was seeing.
Gary let Howard know that he had Barbara Walters on the line so he hadn't put her on hold yet because he didn't need her hearing this stuff. Howard gave out some more plugs for Tabitha and wrapped up so he could get to Barbara Walters.
Howard and Robin had talked up Barbara before she got on the line and they mentioned that she had interviewed all of the presidents over the past 30 years or so. She said that she found that Richard Nixon was probably the smartest of them all. She also talked about some other Presidents like Clinton and George Bush Sr. She said that she was friendly with Bush before he was President. She said she had him over for coffee one night and she was wearing just a bath robe when he showed up. She said that she left that out of her book but he told her it was fine to leave it in.
Howard asked Barbara which one of the presidents that she liked the least. She said she wasn't sure about that so Howard threw Jimmy Carter's name out there. She wasn't answering the question so Howard moved on and cut her off. He asked Barbara what actors have propositioned her over the years. She wasn't talking. She mentioned Clint Eastwood's name because she got flustered by him when he was flirting with her during and interview one time. Howard said he had heard that story before and he wanted the real story.
Howard asked Barbara if she was attracted to Fidel Castro. She said that he was a very charismatic person but she wouldn't have made love to him. She said she doesn't make love to anyone she interviews. She just wanted to get in a plug but Howard asked her about Richard Pryor and she said that she knew this was a mistake to call into the show.
Howard asked Barbara about something that Rosie O'Donnell had said about her recently. She wrote about her in a book and wrote some negative things. Barbara wasn't letting on if she was upset about it but she did say that she didn't know why Rosie bad mouthed her the way she did in the book. She said that she didn't want to say anything on the air about her and get into that whole thing. She said that Rosie did help them out on the show but they weren't floundering before she came on and they're doing just fine now.
Howard tried to get more out of Barbara but she told him over and over that she didn't want to do this. He asked her what she was wearing after she said that. She described the very unsexy outfit she was wearing and said she was wearing four nightgowns underneath it.
Howard and Robin asked Barbara about some of the stuff that went on with Donald Trump and Rosie. She said that she didn't want to get involved in that but she had to when Rosie said something about him that wasn't true. The ABC legal department made her to that.
Barbara turned it around on Howard and asked him about the Page Six story about him saying that he was getting cold feet. Howard said that story wasn't true and tried to ask her some more questions. She said that she had to get going. Howard gave her a plug for her live show that airs every Monday night at 6pm on SIRIUS Stars 102. Howard said he might call in and ask her more about her sex life. She hung up a short time later as Howard was still trying to get more stuff out of her.
Artie said he loves that generation because she thought that bathrobe story was interesting. Howard had to wrap up and take a break a short time after that. He had a bunch of stuff to play and to talk about.
Robin said that she spoke to Sebastian Bach recently and he's able to listen to the show all day long now. Hoard said hello to Sebastian and reminded everyone that he had once tied his penis into a knot on the show. Artie said he was on a flight with him one time. He said that they were in first class and having a party that day.
Howard played the clip where Eric called into this Bridget and Wednesday Show. Eric said that he was just calling in to say hello and to say that he wishes that he show was even longer. He said he likes watching their show every week and wishes that it was on a different network that allowed it to be uncensored.
Robin said that this was a riot. Howard said it was entertaining because it was like the quiet nerd finally got to talk to the cheerleader in high school. He said that when you tell those girls that you're into their DVDs, it's not cool. He tried to tell Eric that but he doesn't listen.
Howard played more of Eric's call and the host sounded like she was really into his call and what he was saying. She asked him what his favorite episode was and laughed at everything she said to him. She eventually said she had to move on. He told them that he was trying to get into one of the girls' Myspace page. Eric wouldn't give up though and kept talking about the Myspace stuff.
Howard said that those girls couldn't have cared less about what he had to say. Howard took a call from a guy who said that you could hear the disgust in the host's voice when Eric called in. The caller suggested they use Eric as an atom bomb for other shows they want to destroy. Howard told everyone that if they want to check out the Playboy channel, they're on SIRIUS 198.
Howard asked Joan about how she's been kicked to the curb with this red carpet stuff these days. She was fired by E! and for the TV Guide channel. Joan just gave a ''fuck them all'' and said she really doesn't care. Howard read that Carrie Underwood wouldn't even come over to her when she was doing her interviews for an internet web site. Joan said she doesn't mind stuff like that, she knows that these people have about 6 minutes left in their fame so she doesn't give it a second thought.
Howard asked Joan about the ratings she had on E!. She said that they were huge but they didn't pay very well so she moved to the TV Guide Channel. Howard asked her what went wrong. Joan said she really doesn't know. She said she gave them their highest ratings ever but they let them go anyway. She said that they let them go and that was it. She said that there was never anyone there from TV Guide so she never met with anyone or anything like that.
Joan said that she and Melissa did this thing with VH-1 where they were doing everything possible on the internet. She said that she was allowed to say everything she wanted to say on that internet broadcast. She said she was saying stuff that she couldn't say on TV. She was allowed to call people fat pigs if she wanted. She talked about some of the people at the Emmys and what she thought. She said that Sally Field was boring making that speech she made.
Howard said that the Emmys were in the round this year and it was ridiculous that they did that to the audience there. He said that if he were in that crowd, he would have been pissed off. Joan said that she thinks that FOX was pushing their stars on the show too much. Joan said she wasn't on the red carpet this year, she just got to blog and do her thing while watching the coverage.
Howard asked Joan to talk about this story about throwing Phil Spector out of two of her parties because he had guns with him. She said that she thinks that he could be guilty of that woman's death. She said that her friend Dorothy actually testified at the trial for him. She used to talk to her more than she does now. Joan said that Dorothy is into the Kuballah stuff now so she doesn't get to talk to her much. Joan said that she was called to testify but she turned it down. She avoided the phone calls and didn't want to be part of it. She said that she witnessed him pulling guns on people but she didn't want to be part of the whole thing.
Joan said that Phil once pulled a gun on Walter Cronkite's daughter. Howard wondered what she said to him that made him pull a gun on her. Joan said she wasn't sure but she had to have him kicked out of her party because of it. The jury hasn't been able to come up with an answer yet and she thinks that they're just stupid.
Howard asked why Phil pulled a gun on Dorothy. She said she wasn't sure about it but he may have been drunk at the time. She said that she thinks he's going to get off on the charges he has against him now.
Howard said that he has tremendous respect for Joan and he thinks that Carrie Underwood should have spoken to her. Howard gave Joan another plug for this web site where you can see the Emmy coverage. Joan said she went out and did a bunch of interviews out on the street and stuff like that as well. He asked her who she came down on in her blog. She said it was everyone and it was like if she and Howard were just sitting around watching the show together.
Howard gave Joan another plug for an appearance she's making at The Cuttin Room (TheCuttingRoomNYC.com) and asked her about the people she's worked with like Davie Brenner. She said she's not in touch with him anymore and she thinks that's kind of sad. Howard was about to go to break but he took a phone call from a guy who said that Joan has already been very funny. Then he asked her what Jesus was like as a kid since she was probably alive back then. Mariann from Brooklyn also called in quickly to tell Joan how great she is and how awful the Emmy coverage is without her. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he watched the Emmys last night and the idea of doing them in the round was foolish. He said that they're trying to reinvent that whole thing and it just doesn't work. He went on to say that the E! network coverage of the red carpet is awful. He said he wanted to see what Tom Selleck's daughter looked like and their camera was so far away that he couldn't see anything.
Howard said that Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi showed up and they did okay going over their outfits. He said you know for sure who wears the strap-on in that relationship. He said that Ellen was wearing man pants and Robin said she looked a lot like Owen Wilson. Howard said that he Portia DeRossi is ultra femme and Ellen is like a dude. He imagines that Ellen attaches a rubber penis to herself to get Portia off. He said that they probably make out and rub each other's titties. He went through a whole scenario where Ellen is using a strap-on with Portia doggy style. He said that it's probably mostly doggy style too, with a little missionary thrown in there. He said Ellen probably pretends to cum like a man about 10 minutes in.
Howard said he had some clips from the Emmy Awards but he wasn't sure if anyone wanted to hear them. Artie said he missed them because there were some great games on last night. He told Howard about some of the games and that led to them talking about the controversy that's going on with the New England Patriots right now. Artie talked about what he knew about the case and then Gary came in to give some more details. They went over that and talked about how this kind of cheating may have been going on for many years.
Howard took a call from a guy up in Boston who thinks this is all bullshit. Another guy changed subjects and said that playing those audio clips for Tabitha's mom was wrong. He said that should have been for an It's Just Wrong game instead. Howard said he just wanted to test her mom out to see if she knows her daughter and that's the way he did it.
Artie said he didn't see the JD thing but he did get confirmation from Teddy that JD got a number. JD said that the girl told him that she comes to New York sometimes so that's how he might be able to hook up with her. He said that she's a fan of the show so she knows about him. Howard figured she must have been bowled over by his personality.
Artie said he had the best feeling he's ever had at a gig before. He said he was getting off stage and the crowd was asking him to sing the Anne Murray song that he sang on the show one time. He said that he now knows what a singer feels like when they perform because the cheers he got after that were amazing.
JD said that there are a lot of hot girls who get backstage passes after the show but they usually have boyfriends with them. Howard took another call from a guy who asked Artie about when he was leaving and how the limo was getting attacked. Artie said the whole limo was shaking and he wanted to open a window to let the fans shake his hand but the driver wouldn't let him do it because he was so paranoid.
A caller gave Howard some advice on his chess game and the opening moves he uses. Howard said he likes the Scotch opening and that's what he will continue to use. The caller was rated a little higher than him so he praised him for that but he's sticking with that move.
Howard said the contest is sponsored by TheBestPorn.com.
Howard had Big Foot on the phone. He was in a hotel room with Tabitha and she was blowing him as he spoke. They were filming for this thing that Tabitha is doing for her web site. Big Foot said that she had been going on him for about 10 minutes already. Tabitha got on the phone for a few seconds and told Howard that it was going on for about 10 minutes. She said she's going to get back to work and got off the line. She had to do him while he was wearing a condom since he hadn't been tested.
Big Foot asked if he wanted him to finish while he was on the phone. Howard told him to give it a try. He said he'd see what he could do and asked Tabitha to tickle his balls a little bit. Howard asked Tabitha if she could suck him while she was talking to him. She tried to do that and had Big Foot in her mouth while she was talking.
Howard asked her if she's going to go home and use tons of mouthwash. She said she will but this is just work for her. Howard told Big Foot to have her just use her hand with no condom. She agreed to do that so Howard had her get back on the line.
Big Foot told her that felt good and told her to ''work that'' and started moaning. Howard listened in as Tabitha was doing her work and Big Foot was moaning. Howard said Big Foot sounded kind of like Darth Vader with the heavy breathing. Howard let them go for a few more seconds but wanted him to finish already. Big Foot said he was trying. Howard said he felt like it was going to happen so that's why he was hanging in with it. He told Big Foot to have her talk dirty to him. He got her back on the line and told her to talk dirty to him and get close to him.
Tabitha got back to work and spit on him and then started talking dirty to him. Big Foot started breathing heavy again. Howard and the guys laughed as he was getting it done. Tabitha wasn't saying much of anything so Howard started talking dirty to him instead. That wasn't working for Big Foot.
Isaac from Howard TV got on the phone and said he thinks that Big Foot is holding out on purpose. He said that she was working her ass off and Big Foot might be holding out so he can hang with her longer. Howard got Tabitha back on the phone and told her that it could last for days. He let her go and told her to call in tomorrow and let them know how long it took. As he was letting them go Big Foot was saying that he has 9 and a half inches so Howard asked Tabitha if that was true. She said that it probably was about 9.
Howard told Robin to imagine that being her job, jerking off Big Foot. Howard said they might have to bribe Big Foot to finish up faster.
Howard played the clip of Dave reading a Top 10 List where Richard had thrown in words that he wasn't able to read. Howard said they told Dave that they have catch phrases on the show so that's what he was reading. Dave tried to do them but stumbled on each word.
Howard said that Bob Levy could be accused of being the same as Dave. He played a clip from the Miserable Men Show from last week. He had Bob saying that guys need to have women sign a ''wager'' instead of ''waiver'' when they have sex with them. Howard and the guys got a laugh out of that.
Howard played a clip from a church service clip that they got where this guy is singing Amazing Grace but forgets the words. Howard said that one goes on for a good 2 minutes. The guy was supposed to be honoring the dead but he was just awful.
Howard was reminded of some of the old clips from when he was a kid while playing that ''Amazing Grace'' stuff. Fred dug up some of those old clips and played Howard singing a bunch of songs when he was a little kid. That clip went on and on so Howard cut it off. Fred said it was the long version. one of the people singing on the clip was his aunt who had passed away way too young. He said that she was a great person too. He said that she got hepatitis and died around 40. He said that it was his mother's sister and she took it pretty hard.
Artie said that he's right near the age that his father was when he fell and broke his neck. Howard told him that he really needs to go to therapy for that.
Howard got Big Foot back on the phone because he still wasn't finished. Big Foot said that Tabitha was ready to give up. He said they might have too many cameras in the room for his thing to squirt off. He thought he could perform in front of them but he can't get it done. Howard told him that at least he gave it a try. He figured that Tabitha will have it up on her web site anyway.
Howard got back to the Amazing Grace clip and said it reminds him of his own singing. He played some more of the clip and then some of Big Foot trying to sing an Eagles song. Big Foot sounded very similar to that guy. He had him singing a Bon Jovi song too and it was very similar to the Amazing Grace guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Big Foot breathing thing was really disturbing. He was also the guy that hosted the comedy show out in Detroit so he thanked Artie for that. Howard quickly moved on to some other calls and let a few people comment on the stuff that they've been doing today. One guy said that the Evil Dave and Big Foot stuff was great today.
Howard replayed the Evil Dave Top 5 list that he'd just played. That led to Artie requesting a bit that Dave did for them one time. He asked for the PSA he did for the blacks. Fred dug that one up and played it for Artie who was laughing his ass off when he heard it. Fred played a couple of those phony PSA bits and had Artie rolling.
Steve said that Artie is still saying that he and Dana could possibly get back together some day. Artie told them that they're both still single so he might be able to get her back. Artie said that he has to prove to her that he can stay straight. He tried explaining it but he was having some trouble giving a good answer. Artie said that it's been a while since he last spoke to her though.
Artie said he hit a wall with the therapy thing and he's not sure what else he could do there. He's gone to a couple of sessions and he doesn't want to go back for more. Artie also said that he's not even positive if Dana is still single. He said that as far as he knows she is.
Howard asked Artie if Dana knows that he's shot up over 300 pounds. He figures that she's heard. He said he really feels like he blew it and he knows that it might not happen again. Steve quickly mentioned that Double A has a show tonight on Howard 101 at 7.
High Pitch Eric is going to be on the Double A show so he called in quickly and said it was great to see them this morning. He went off on Richard Johnson for a few seconds but Howard told him he doesn't dislike Richard, he thinks that Richard doesn't like him for some reason. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard had Jon Hein come in and give his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the stuff that went on today that they'll be covering on the show today. They'll talk about the Tabitha Stevens thing and about many of the other guests and stuff that went on today.
Howard put the word out to Dana that Artie really is a good guy and he's changed. He said that Artie was reading a book about how to bet on the NFL today. He said that he's sure she'd see that he's getting better if she saw him reading that book.
Jon got back to his show rundown and gave a few more of the subjects that they'd be covering. He mentioned the Joan Rivers interview and Howard's call to Beth early this morning. That got Howard back on that subject and talking about how Richard still hadn't called back yet. He said he will say something to Richard when he sees him. He then played a clip from a news show where the reporters were talking about that article that Richard Johnson wrote. That came from the CW 11 News. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that there's a lot to learn in chess and if you don't start early enough, you may never learn. He said that he imagines that in 3 years he will have had enough of radio and he'll get out of the business. He said that if the merger goes through and satellite takes off big, he'll think that they were pioneers in the business.
Howard said he's going to sit down and discuss with the people on the show if they should keep the show going. He said that everyone will be involved in that discussion, even Benjy.
Howard said he thinks that he could do another 5 years on radio and give people what they want. He said that he'd like to get something out of his life when he leaves. He said that right now he likes doing radio now but by the time the contract is up, in about 3 years, he might have his fill. He said he'll be 57 at that point and it'll be enough by that point.
Howard said that maybe if his fans would accept it, he could just drop by once in a while. Robin said that doesn't work and it won't work for him. He said that maybe if he does retire, he'll find that he doesn't like it. He said that he might get on the phone and talk to the guys instead if they don't do the radio show. Artie said that he thinks that Howard should see what life would be like if he didn't go to bed at 9 o'clock and not get up at 4 in the morning. Howard said that's what he wants to find out.
Howard said he can't wait to get out of the business and then hire some people to take care of him. He said it'll be like being a 5 year old again. He went on to talk about how his father was a workaholic right up until he retired. He said his father never missed working after he did retire. Howard said that sounds fabulous to him and he might enjoy being retired.
Howard said that he was laying in bed the other night and a movie popped into his head. He said he thought about making this movie which would be a take on Tarzan. He said he saw the whole movie and all he'd have to do is write it down. He said that he'd never be bored even if he was retired. He said that they're going to be there for many years so the caller shouldn't worry about it right now.
Howard let the caller go and said he wanted to get out of there by 10:30 and it was already 10:35. Robin asked him how he's going to retire if he can't even get out on time one day. He had her start her news right after that.
Bobo called in during the news and said that he got suckered into watching the Joey Boots gay kiss on Howard TV. He said that he also watched Bam Margera and his wife. He said that Bam's wife is really hot and he's very attracted to her.
Howard said that he had to apologize to Robbie Robertson's daughter for the stuff he said about him last week. He said that he was always a big fan of Robbie's but his daughter sent him a note about what he said. He read her letter where she addressed what Howard said about him. She said that her father has no hard feelings toward Howard. Howard said that he was a big fan of Robbie and The Big Band. He played some of their stuff and then had Sour Shoes on the phone doing his Levon Helm impression. Sour Shoes did his thing and then everyone sang along with him for a short time. Sour Shoes then did an impression of their old K-Rock engineer Richie Herbie. He also did some Jackie impressions before Howard hung up on him and had Robin get back to her news.
Robin got back into the OJ Simpson story and had Howard play some clips from the Goldman family. That led to Artie talking about how Larry King ended up calling Nicole's sister ''Nicole'' during an interview. He said that he did it more than once too.
Robin did some Emmy coverage and had Howard play a few clips from that show. The guys spent some time talking about Ryan Seacrest hosting and about some of the performances and acceptance speeches. They talked about Christina Aguilera's performance so Ralph called in a short time later and said he saw that she needs to shave her arms. He said it was a shock, especially when he saw it on his 62 inch TV. Howard let him go and had Robin finish up her news.
Robin finished up and Howard played a new voice mail message from Crazy Alice. She left a message saying that she's angry with Robin. She said that Robin is being foolish about some things and she's tired of rich people. Robin apologized for having a good life. Howard wrapped up after that and ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started off the show asking JD if he had pulled a clip from the Tonight Show. He mentioned he had a lot of stuff coming up today too. He said he was listening to the Wack Pack Show that aired last night. He was out at some meetings last night and he's trying to figure some stuff out. He's trying to figure out his TV situation at home. He said he hates having meetings because he just wants to play chess at home.
Howard read an article about the people who play chess out on the street in the city. He said that they write that you can't have a girlfriend when you do that. That led to Howard playing some clips from the Wack Pack Show where Double A is talking about how he could probably get Beth himself. He was talking about how he'd like to be able to take Beth from Howard and it put a dagger in his heart because he thought that he might have a shot at her. Double A said he would never play chess if he had Beth. He's not even sure what chess is. He said he'd create a game around Beth and not leave her out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Wack Pack Show was horrible last night. He said that Double A wasn't well thought out and he had a gold mine of a guest with Tabitha Stevens being there. He told him not to waste his time with Double A anymore. Howard didn't hear it last night so he wasn't sure how it was.
Howard played some more clips from Double A's Wack Pack show where he was asking Tabitha Stevens about her segment on Howard's show. Tabitha talked about what he had done with her and her mother and how she lost all of her balls after hearing herself being played back in those clips. High Pitch Eric then asked her a question and everyone laughed when they heard his voice. Robin said it should be the High Pitch Eric show, she just decided.
Howard said that some people were asking him if Big Foot blew his load yesterday. He never did finish with Tabitha. They talked about that for a short time and mentioned some of the goofy stuff that Big Foot was talking about during the show yesterday.
Howard said the Wack Pack show sounded okay to him so far. He played another clip where Double A asked Angry Black about his opinions on the OJ Simpson case. Angry gave his thoughts on OJ and on Michael Vick. He was throwing the N-word around quite a bit while he was talking about those two. Angry said that OJ shouldn't have taken the law into his own hands the way he did. Double A then threw out the N-word after pausing on the N for a second. Artie said that still sounded offensive even after Double A said ''With all due respect'' before throwing that word out there.
Howard said he might like this Wack Pack Show. He played some more clips where the guys were talking about the show going on the road out to Vegas or something like that. Double A was going to say something about going out on the road but then said that he'd love to see a Top 10 list done on Letterman with the Wack Pack members. Howard said he kind of thought that was a good idea and he would do that.
The guys were throwing out the names of the Wack Packers that he'd have on Letterman and they said that Evil Dave would have to be number one. That led to Howard playing the Top 5 list that Richard had Evil Dave reading the other day where they gave him fake words to say that were just various letters typed on the paper. Howard played that and got Artie laughing his ass off. He did an impression of Dave reading those words and laughed even harder. Howard played more of the clip and Artie continued to laugh.
Artie said he's been working on an Evil Dave impression. He had Howard ask him a question and then threw out that ''HAH?'' comment that Dave is always making. Howard went to the phones and took a call from Melrose Larry Green who said he loved Double A last night on the Wack Pack Show. He said he thought it was a great show. Howard said that's probably because he's a Wack Packer himself.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he only made it through 22 minutes of the Wack Pack Show last night. He called Double A a ''mini Mutt.'' Howard said that Double A also gets dry mouth so that was a problem as well. He said he was liking what he heard so far though.
Howard played more of the Wack Pack Show where Double A and the guys are talking about going out on the road and doing shows. Double A said that he loves interacting with the fans like they're doing on that show. Artie goofed on Double A's voice a little bit when that clip was done. Howard thought about taping the show in advance and then play it back at fast speed so it was over in 1 minute.
Howard played some more clips where Double A was talking about creating action figures based on the Wack Pack or even having a cartoon based on them. Howard said he was actually talking about having a show on Howard TV where the Jackie Puppet would be doing different missions and stuff. He said it's in the early stages of development though. He said that the Jackie Puppet is in rehab right now getting fixed after getting beat up pretty good while he was in storage. He said he'll be ready for the TV show eventually. Howard said maybe they can get Double A in that show.
Howard played another clip where a woman said she thinks that OJ is innocent. She didn't understand how he could have stolen his own shit either. Howard said he knew that this is what was going to happen with that case. He said when he was in school in Roosevelt he'd try to argue with the kids who were stealing his stuff and there was no way to talk to the kids because there was no talking sense to them. Robin said that there are a lot of people who live in the ''stupid world'' where they have stupid rules. Gary said he knows what that's like because he grew up near where Howard went to school and it was the same for him.
Robin told a story about Howard's old producer Boy Lee who came close to a black guy's face when he slipped and fell toward him. The guy kept telling Lee to get his hand out of his face even though he was nowhere near him anymore. The guy just kept telling him to get out of his face but Lee wasn't getting out of his way fast enough.
Artie said that he had a kid in his class who would tell his teacher she had something on her face and then he'd tell her that it was ugly and it wouldn't come off. Artie would laugh and then he'd get sent to the principal's office because the teacher was afraid of the kid who was goofing on her.
Howard played more of the Sal interviews where the people were telling him about OJ's innocence. Sal asked one woman who said she's sick of OJ's shenanigans and said that this is what OJ gets for marrying a white woman. He said that black men need to leave white women alone. She stopped the interview right there saying ''no more questions.''
Howard said he wants to interview the woman that's dating OJ right now. He wants to know what makes her different than Nicole. Robin said that she saw an interview with one of OJ's friends where the guy said that he can't be friends with him since that book of OJ's came out.
King of All Blacks called in and said that he thinks that Angry Black tries too hard with the N-word when he says it. He also goofed on him about the car he was driving, saying that it's an old BMW. He goofed on the guy and said that he's like a spy or something. He said he owns the whitest shirt you've ever seen and he has to really try hard to be black.
The guys said that King of All Blacks really tries hard to be black. Robin said that he's a middle class kid who tries really hard to be ghetto. King said that Howard has to have both of them in and see who the real ghetto is. Fred said that King is like Colt 40 Feinberg, he's just acting. King said that's not true. Fred said that no real black guy is going to talk about Moen faucets like King does.
Angry Black called in and asked why King has to throw him under the bus. King goofed on his delivery and said that he's not black. Angry told King that he has two BMWs, he has a 2000 and a 2007. King said that was bullshit and he only has the 2000. He goofed on Angry about that and yelled at him while Angry tried to explain himself calmly.
King and Angry were going back and forth but Howard wanted to get out of the whole thing. He didn't understand why the BMW was bad for Angry. He said that not everyone has the money to buy a new car. King didn't believe that Angry had the new one that he claimed he did.
Howard hung up on those two and said he can't take it when they yell over each other like that, it drives him insane.
Howard said that CBS-FM was changed from oldies to another format and that was a big mistake. He said they were making good money and they ruined it by changing formats. They were generating a lot of money with that station and they destroyed it. Then they changed formats on all of the stations he was on. They were going to replace him with imitators and put them on all day long. He said it was a disrespect for what he does when they do something like that. He said they had no respect for what he did.
Howard said they were saying that it's not so hard to do what he does. They hired David Lee Roth, Penn Gillette, Opie and Anthony and more. He said the fact of the matter is that it was pretty wild to do something like that just because he was leaving. Howard said that the company then took out ads saying ''Even fart jokes get old after 20 years.'' He said he keeps that ad hanging in his office to remind him to keep the eye of the tiger. He said that they were trying to imply that they got rid of him. Howard left, he didn't get fired.
Howard said that all of the stations changed format to talk. He said that WYSP was music all day after he was on in the morning. They changed that and turned it all talk and the station took a nose dive. David Lee Roth was on in the morning and the guy's show failed. Howard said they were ready to replaced Dave after one day.
The new management has come in now and they're ready to go back to the old ways of doing things. They're changing back to the old format and putting music back on the station and now the guy is a hero for doing that. They wasted many millions of dollars doing that though. Howard said a lot of stations have gone back to the old format now.
The caller asked Howard if Bubba is going to be leaving SIRIUS next year. Howard said that Bubba is his man and he loves the guys on that show. They're hard workers and they deserve to be there and to be paid well. He said he has been asked this question before about replacing Bubba if he leaves. Howard said that Bubba is doing a good job and a lot of the fans like him. He said he thinks that the business needs professionals, not people like David Lee Roth.
Howard went on to say that he thinks that Bubba should have a place there at Howard 101 but it's up to management to come up with the money or to change things. He said he hopes that they come together and keep Bubba around. He said he's very appreciative of what Bubba is doing and what he's done so far. He said he didn't hire the guy himself, SIRIUS did, but he would like to see him stay on there. He was just asked if he wanted Bubba on his channel there and he said he did.
Artie said that he'd be really sad to see Bubba go because his show is so good. He said that Bubba is very loyal too. He said he's a loyal soldier in this whole thing. Howard said that he sent Brent a note last night about what's going on. He said this stuff is real and Bubba has to make some decisions. He said he'd like to see them do well there. He hopes that things work out for them.
Howard said that he's sure that they do have to pay these guys a decent amount of money to keep them around. He's not sure what Bubba's other options are though. He may have something out there that's going to work better for him, who knows.
Howard said that he likes to have these novelty shows like the Barbara Walters show but they really need to have professionals there every day that can build brand loyalty. Bubba is good in that way. Artie said that it's similar to the way Leno and Letterman are. Letterman is a professional broadcaster and his show paces better than Leno's does.
The caller asked Howard if this stuff that gets printed is something he could sue over. Howard said there are not really any damages done with those stories and it's just a nuisance. He said if he runs into Richard when he's out, he's going to say something to him about this stuff. He said he might have some stuff on Richard and he's been protecting him on that stuff. He doesn't want to bring that stuff up on the air though.
Howard said he was with Beth last night and even she was saying that the stuff in the paper had her wondering. Howard said that Richard knows that his name sells newspapers so that might be why he puts stuff like that in his column. Artie said he probably sold a bunch of papers because he was bitching about that stuff yesterday.
The caller said that he saw a list of the people who were at the Tom Petty concert that Howard went to and he was left off the list in this one paper. He said he doesn't get why some papers will go after him like Richard does and others just ignore him. Howard said he's not looking for any publicity anyway.
Howard talked about running into Jann Wenner over the summer and how that guy seems to have something against him too. He said he thinks he deserves an apology about the stuff they've written about him in Rolling Stone magazine. He said he's still a fan of the magazine even though they constantly give great reviews of Yoko Ono's albums and stuff like that. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard went through the Top 5 going backwards. He played a song from Akon, another one from Timbaland, Fergie, Kanye West and the song that Fred was playing. He also threw in ''Artie Loves the Vending Machine.'' He said that was written about 50 pounds ago too.
Artie said he played the tape that the guy from SaveBabyGorilla.com did as a spoof of that Britney Spears YouTube guy. He said it killed at the show out in Detroit when he played it.
Rita brought up her book ''Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death'' so Howard got into that. He asked her about the stuff she's written about Anna Nicole. She had a lot to say about that. She was talking about how she had 1800 pills prescribed to her in the 5 weeks before her death among other things. She said that the pills may have been prescribed by just one doctor too. She said that it could have been a friendship that blinded the guy from common sense.
Howard asked Rita about the book and how she was able to print the stuff that she did about Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern. She said that they're going to go through with it and if those two want to sue, a lot of interesting stuff should come out about them.
Howard said it seems that Rita is saying that she has a witness who saw Larry and Howard K. Stern doing gay stuff together and Anna Nicole used to watch. He said he'd be afraid of printing something like that if he hadn't seen the tape himself. He said that guys tend to be touchy about that stuff.
Rita said that Larry Birkhead claims that he's not gay but the National Enquirer had a story about him having a gay thing and when he threatened to sue, the other guy took a lie detector test and Larry hasn't sued yet. Rita told Howard that her book is now a NY Times best seller as of a couple of days ago.
Rita was all over the place and throwing out stories about Anna Nicole and her son Daniel who died shortly before Anna did. Rita said that someone claims that Daniel was afraid of Howard K. Stern and he was afraid that he was going to do something to him physically. A month later Daniel was dead in a hospital room and Howard K. Stern was the only one in the room.
Howard said that if Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead sue and win, they're going to get a lot of money out of this. Rita said that they're very confident about the stuff they've printed. She said that they're aware of what they have and they're not worried. She said that Larry and Howard must have made a private deal in this whole case and have become good friends all of a sudden.
Rita said that she has a story about Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern making a deal for the baby from a cop who witnessed them making the deal. She told Howard the story about that and filled them in on the details. She was going on and on about the things that they heard about this deal. Howard said his head was spinning and he wasn't sure if anyone even cares about those two guys. Rita claims that they have a story about Howard K. Stern performing oral on Larry Birkhead. Howard said that he'd hate to think that these stories aren't true and that they're being painted that way in the news. He said that he knows what fake news stories are like.
Rita said that they have a lot of documentation that's not even in the book that they can use to back this stuff up. Robin said she doesn't think that there will ever be a lawsuit over this. Howard gave Rita a plug for her web site RitaCosby.com and said that you can get her book through there. Rita said the book, ''Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death,'' is available everywhere. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later and let her go.
Howard said he had Rita on the show because he gets suspicious about these sources that he journalists have. He said that sometimes they're true but he's had stories come out about him that just aren't true at all. Howard said that Larry Birkhead hasn't done anything legally wrong in this whole thing and he doesn't know that he's actually done gay stuff with Howard K. Stern. He said he wonders about this book because they can't survive a lawsuit if that's what it comes down to. They don't make enough money on books to get sued like that.
Howard took a call from Jessica Hahn who said that a lot of this stuff had come out before the book came out. She said that Howard K. Stern was already going to be the executor of Anna Nicole's estate. She said that there were a lot of things there that were already out in the news and Rita didn't have anything new to report.
Howard took a call from Dominic Barbara who said that there were some stories about Jessica out there when she was in the news. She was accused of being a prostitute and she never sued over that. Dominic said that just because Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead hugged doesn't mean that they're gay. They had a death and there's a baby involved in this case so they hugged. He didn't think that was a big deal. Dominic said that they could sue and have a book of their own some day. The guys said that they could have a lot of skeletons in their closet and that might be why they never sue. That doesn't mean that they're actually gay though.
Howard said he had the one picture that the person sent in of her big clitoris. He asked Robin if she wanted to look first. She saw it and said that it had to be a guy. Artie just laughed and said ''Holy shit!'' as he was checking it out. Howard showed a side shot and it was definitely a woman. Howard said this is going to be a big contest. He said that she might be a winner right there. He went to break after that.
Howard mentioned that Brad was on Everybody Loves Raymond and his current show ''Til Death'' is in its second season. Brad came in and told Howard that his little security guard was asking him what he was doing for Yom Kippur. He said that he wonders what that guy can do for security and said that Howard must be fearless if he has security like that. Howard said he hears that all the time about Ronnie.
Ronnie came in and said that Brad is out of his mind because he started in with him on the Jewish holiday stuff. Brad told Ronnie he was going to pick him up and open him if he didn't stop. He said that just because Brad played a cop on Raymond, doesn't mean that he's a tough guy. Ronnie and Brad went back and forth and then Ronnie said that his show is going to get canceled now because he went into The Black Cloud Diner (Scott's studio) so it can only mean bad luck for him.
Howard asked Ronnie about what he would do if someone like Brad attacked him. Ronnie said that just because he's tall doesn't mean he's tough. Howard said he wants to know what Ronnie is going to do if someone attacks. Ronnie said he's just going to run.
Howard said that Ronnie has such road rage. He was driving him home yesterday and ended up cutting a woman off when she cut him off. He had to get revenge on her and he had to cut her off. Ronnie said it wasn't road rage, he was just driving. Howard told Brad that Gary Busey attacked him in the studio one time and he had to take him down himself. Ronnie didn't come and help him. Brad couldn't believe he missed that and wondered why that stuff doesn't happen when he comes in.
Howard let Ronnie go and Brad goofed on his size again and told him to see if his suit comes in an adult size. Howard said that Brad must expect to see a big black guy in there protecting him. That's not happening though, he's got Ronnie in there instead.
Howard showed Brad the picture of the big clitoris that he showed the guys earlier. Brad said that woman might have him beat. Howard said he might be beat too. Howard asked Brad if he thinks that he's really out of his mind having Ronnie as security. Ronnie came back in and asked if that's the only material he has today. Brad said he wanted to wipe the floor with Ronnie and then told him to go back and check on the Smurfs.
Howard said that Brad has gotten into some scuffles with the paparazzi. He once popped a photographer when he was out one day. Brad said he had this guy giving him shit while he was out on a date for the first time in months. He said that the woman was foreign and not legal so he was having a great time. He said that she was extraordinary for him. She didn't know about all of this stuff that goes on and all of a sudden she was being photographed.
Brad said that she saw the photographers and ran to the car. He said she was hiding behind a Volvo while the photographers were snapping the pictures. Brad said he was called a racist and this guy with a turban on his head wouldn't get out of his way and it set him off. He couldn't get to his car. He said he didn't get sued or anything over that though.
Howard said he heard that Brad still goes on vacation with his ex-wife and kids. Brad said that they do that and his ex has a great man now and they all get along. Brad said his parents were divorced and he knows what that was like so he likes to go on vacation with the kids. He doesn't want the kids to think that their father is going to be replaced. Brad said that his ex's new man is a great guy and he's much better for her than he is. Howard said he's in a similar situation with his ex-wife who found a great guy. He said the guy is really nice and he'd hang with him even if he wasn't with his ex-wife.
Brad said that he walked into his old house one day and asked everyone to raise their hand if they were enjoying his old house. He said he really likes the other guy and if he didn't, then he'd have a problem. The other guy has been through divorce himself but he's an amazing dad.
Howard asked Brad how long he was married. Brad said it was 7 years. He asked him how long he waited after the divorce before he got laid. Brad said he would call what he had ''Gentle prison love'' and things may have gotten a little rough. He said that it may have been verbal abuse and he may have coerced her into having sex. He was joking around of course.
Howard said he saw Brad at the Emmy's and told Beth that he knew him when he saw him. Brad asked Howard if he's married Beth yet. He told him that he's not married yet but that's in the works. Brad told Howard that he really needs a woman with a brain and asked him if she does. Howard said she is smart and he loves her a lot. Robin said that no one there is all that smart. Howard told Brad that Beth speaks French so she's smart in that way.
Brad wondered if a guy like Howard could really love anyone. Howard wasn't sure. The Howard TV guys showed Brad a picture of Beth and Brad said he'd like to see a picture of her clitoris. He also asked Howard how old they are and found out that Beth is 34 and Howard is 53. Howard told the story about how they met and Robin tried getting in on that so Brad informed her that he was speaking to Howard.
Brad said that he's looking for a woman who is smart but he can't seem to find one that's not 80 pounds heavier than him. Howard gave Brad a plug for his show ''Til Death'' which airs tomorrow night on FOX. Howard said it's nice that he's able to step away from that whole ''Raymond'' thing and do his own show now.
Brad asked Howard what his secret is and how he got this Heidi chick. Howard said that women like him because he likes women. He said that he enjoys listening to women and enjoys the company of women. Brad told him he was full of shit. He wondered what kind of conversation he has with women and what the last conversation was. Howard said it was something like ''harder, faster...'' Howard said he really does like to listen to a woman talking. Brad didn't seem to believe that.
Howard asked Brad if Ray Romano said anything about getting back together when they were at the Emmys. Brad said that they weren't talking about that at all. They just did some dates at the Mirage together though. They did some comedy just for shits and giggles. Howard wondered what they do together. Brad said that they like to play poker together and things like that.
Artie said that he figures that they're getting about $50,000 and $100,000 a piece doing shows out in Vegas. Brad said that estimate is low. He said it really doesn't matter at this point. He and Ray just split the money 50/50. Howard wanted to know what kind of money he's really making doing those gigs. Brad said that he's not going to say exactly.
Brad asked Howard if he's had a vasectomy and if he's going to have kids. Howard said that he's not going to have any more kids. Brad said that there's no way he's not going to have a kid after the marriage. That led to Howard talking about how he likes wearing a rubber because it slows him down when he's having sex.
Brad said that he once had an orgasm so fast that he actually time traveled. Howard told Brad that he was once with a girl who was stunning. They went back to her place and she told him to stay when he was about to leave. She stripped down for him and he stuck around. He got in one stroke and he was done. He said that he needed a few minutes to go again. A few minutes later he was ready to go and he hit two strokes and he was done. He was humiliated that night.
Brad said that he takes Viagra and that stuff helps you hold out longer. Howard said that Brad must be with women but Brad said he doesn't get a lot of chicks. Brad told Howard that he had a vasectomy even though he's the biggest baby when it comes to medical procedures. Brad said that his doctor told him who to go to and he wasn't even put out to have this thing done. He said he had some shots in the balls and it didn't even hurt that much. The guy did it in a way that wasn't so bad. He made it to work the next day no problem. Bread told Howard he should go to that guy. He said that the doctor has seen his penis so Howard's penis should look fine to the guy.
Howard asked Brad about his load consistency. Brad talked about that and said that it's not very consistent. Howard asked him if he can still drop a load on a woman's face or stomach. He didn't answer that directly, he was joking around about all of that stuff.
Artie told Howard he thinks that Brad and Ray were getting $75,000 each out in Vegas. Brad said he wouldn't get out of bed for that. Brad said that Artie is as low as his 8th chin. He said he's not even close with the estimates he was giving on that and the kind of money they were making on Raymond. Artie suggested that he and Brad do the Borgata together. Brad wasn't aware that he even had an act.
Artie joked around with Brad about doing the Borgata. Howard said that he wouldn't stop him from working with him. Brad said that he's not going to be doing that. Howard gave Brad some more plugs for his show and then wrapped up and went to break.
Howard said he had Chevy Chase and his wife Jayni on the phone. He put Chevy on the line and Chevy did an impression of himself asking if anyone could hear him like he did years ago when Howard called him at home. Howard said that he thought that they had patched things up recently when they saw each other out at a party. Chevy didn't think they needed to patch up anything and that they just talked nicely that night.
Howard said that when he and Chevy were talking, Lorne Michaels was staring at them like he was seeing this great meeting of two people. He wondered why Chevy didn't talk to Lorne there that night. Chevy said that he doesn't have a problem with him or anything.
Howard and Chevy talked about the party, John Bon Jovi's party, where they got to see some great performances from some great musicians. Howard said that he and Jayni hadn't spoken since the time he called their house. He asked Jayni if she found him charming like he thinks he is. Chevy said that she did find him charming and she wants him deeply.
Jayni said that she found him to be a nice guy that night. He went on to give them a plug for their web site and charity. They have a tour of the studio to auction off on this web site CharityBuzz.com. Robin asked what the charity is for. Chevy said that it goes right into his pocket. He said they have a weekend in Vegas with OJ to auction off too. He was joking of course and got a laugh out of Howard. Howard spent a minute on that subject and then said that he's going to bid on the Cameron Diaz thing they have to auction off.
Chevy said that Cameron is a sweet girl and he's sure that Howard would be fine hanging out with her off the air. He said that the environment is going to pot and that's what the charity is all about. Howard said that he's very intrigued with the Cameron Diaz thing. He said they have other celebrities like Bill Clinton that you can get a dinner with if your bid is high enough.
Chevy said that the day on the set with Cameron is something that a person can win and they get to sit around the set with her while she works. Artie asked how much it would cost to bang her. Chevy told him he'd probably have to use his Visa to pay for that. Howard said that this is all for a very good cause.
Howard asked Chevy and Jayni how their marriage is going. Chevy said it's tough to find someone like this and things are going very well for them. Howard then found out that Chevy had been married two other times. They spent a few minutes talking about that and how that all went down. Chevy shared some of the stories about that and working on Saturday Night Live. He said he regrets not staying on the show longer than he did. He said that John Belushi was a little jealous that he'd left and got some movies and stuff. John wasn't the break out star right away. Chevy said that John did become a big star but he abused himself a little too much.
Howard asked Chevy how he met Jayni. He said he was working on ''Under the Rainbow'' when he met her. He said that she was working in production and he met her there. That was the movie where they had a bunch of little people and Jayni said that she was the only one there that wasn't on drugs.
Chevy said that he went out on a couple of dates with Jayni when they met and things worked out. She said that Chevy had invited her out to the premiere of a movie. She told that story and Howard asked her if she put out that first night. Chevy jokingly said it took about 5 hours or so.
Howard asked Chevy if he made love to Cheryl Tiegs. Chevy said he never even met her. Howard asked if Chevy got his share of famous women before he got married. Chevy said he may have. Howard asked Jayni if he gave her a list of names. She said she wouldn't have been impressed if he had. Chevy said that he doesn't really talk about that stuff with her. Howard said that it sounds like things are going pretty well with them. Chevy said that they really do love each other a lot.
Howard told Chevy and Jayni that they should come in sometime live so he can talk to them. Howard said that the bidding on these auctions close on Thursday of this week. Howard gave them another plug and let them go. Howard said that no one would have ever predicted that they'd be on speaking terms.
Howard said that Artie worked with Chevy on Dirty Work but he forgot to ask about it. Artie said that he and Chevy shot pool for about an hour one night up in Toronto. He said that they were talking for about 3 hours together that night. Artie said that they cut out a lot of his stuff from Dirty Work and it was very funny.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to know how Howard reconciled with Chevy. Howard said that Chevy called them recently. He went back a few years and told the story about how Chevy had called back in the days when Stuttering John was goofing on him. He said that Chevy had called Gary one time and warned him that there was a story coming out about him that he might want to know about. That story never came out but he appreciated that Chevy did that for him. He said he was out in California one time and Chevy was there so they had a nice discussion and made up for all of the bad blood they had between them. He said he was a big fan of his and he's glad that he worked things out. They dropped the whole Chevy thing and things have gotten better over the years.
Howard said he went to this party that John Bon Jovi had an he ran into Chevy and Jayni there. He said he was watching them come in and he figured they were going to leave or confront him. Then they came over and they ended up talking. Jayni didn't come over right away but she did eventually. He said that they talked about the feud they had and they made up. He said that Jayni made it easy and they worked things out.
Howard said his feuds blow over eventually. He and John Bon Jovi had a feud years ago and now he's going to these big parties of his. Howard said that this whole charity thing came out of that and now he's offered the chance to come in and visit the studio for their charity.
Artie figured that the big feud had happened way back in July of 1988. He said he remembered that because he had gone on vacation with his friends back then and when they came home, his one friend told him about the big news about the Chevy Chase feud that was going on. Howard said that it only took 20 years to get things back on track with Chevy. Howard had to go to break a short time later. He said he'll try to get Chevy in there sometime.
Pat said that the band isn't done, he's just gone out and done a solo project. Pat said he wrote some stuff for Tina Turner's new album and he worked on one song that was too good to give to her. He said he kept that one for himself. He said that his manager told him he was nuts for giving away his good stuff like that. That's how he ended up doing this solo album. Howard asked Pat if he ever got into the Tina Turner frame of mind and put on a wig. Pat joked that he had. Artie asked him if he let a guy beat him and stayed in an abusive relationship for a while. That got a laugh out of the band that was with Pat. Pat talked about how strange the song writing process is.
Howard asked Pat where his hot wife was this morning. Pat said she wasn't feeling right this morning so she stayed back at the hotel. He said he's not sure what she's got though. Pat told Howard that he's going to be very happy when he gets married because he's very happy right now. Howard told him that he's only been married a couple of months so he doesn't know yet.
Howard read that Pat's son is living with him now and the kid is 14 years old. Howard said it must be tough for that 14 year old to be around his hot wife. Howard asked if he ever has to tell his son that he can't beat off to his step-mother. He said he doesn't even want to bring that up with him. Robin asked if he thinks his son is even doing that stuff. Pat didn't answer that, everyone was goofing around about all of that so he didn't have a chance. Artie asked how old Amber is. Pat said she's 25 so Artie gave a ''holy shit'' and figured that kid must be tortured. Pat said his son has a new girlfriend every day so he's doing fine.
Artie said that his son might be better off being gay. That way he wouldn't be tortured like that. Pat said he thinks that he's a pretty cool father and asks him if he's okay. His son always tells him that he's not gay.
Pat said that if Amber wants to have a kid, he'd probably agree to it. He told her that he'd never move to Seattle, he's living there now, he said he'd never get married, he's married. He figures that if she ever wants to have a kid, he's going to have a kid. He said that he does anything she wants.
Howard was reading about Britney Spears and how she's being accused of walking around naked and taking drugs in front of her kids. Howard said that walking around naked isn't a bad thing. Robin said it's when you throw the drugs in there that it goes wrong.
Howard talked about seeing his mother's bush when he was a kid and what a trauma that was for him. He said he saw that popcorn bush down there and it was disgusting. Pat said that he finds Britney to be hot now and he'd like to see her come out from being an underdog and be a winner again.
Howard had Pat introduce the guys who Pat had with him today. He had Jerry Becker and Louis Moldanato who Howard spoke to a little bit. Howard even did a little Flamenco dancing when Louis played some music for him. Artie asked if Pat has a sea of musicians that he picks from when he goes to do this solo album. Pat said he worked with a guy and started to explain that when Howard interrupted and asked where Amber is.
Howard said that Pat has written some songs about his new wife and he never wrote songs like this when he was with his wife. Pat explained the song and said that it was about going out to find this woman who means so much to him. He and the guys then performed the song ''Her Eyes.''
Howard told the guys they did a great job on the song. He said that song was really good and wondered what Pat is going to do when his voice changes. Pat said he does worry about that. Howard told him it sounds like he really loves this girl. He also seems to be enjoying playing music with these guys. Pat said that they've been playing in clubs in the city this week because these guys actually like music that much. Howard said it sounds like he's enjoying this more than the guys in Train. Pat said that's not the case, they're just having fun.
Howard had Pat and the guys perform a Led Zeppelin song since he enjoys that so much. Pat sang ''Whole Lotta Love'' with the guys and did a great acoustic version of the song. Howard told them they did a great job with that and that song isn't an easy song to cover. He wondered if that's one of Pat's favorites. He said that they are one of his favorites. That led to the guys talking about Zeppelin getting back together.
Howard asked Pat if he and the guys could perform the Stevie wonder song ''Superstition.'' Pat was ready to go but Howard wanted to take some calls. He gave Pat some plugs for his album and for his web site PatMonahan.net. Then he took some phone calls from some fans who really liked what they were playing. The callers were saying that he was great. One caller asked if Pat stays in contact with his old band mates that he used to work with. Pat said that he really doesn't. He said he still stays in touch with the guys in Train, but not the bands he was in before that.
Howard had Pat and the guys perform their cover of ''Superstition'' after that. They did another great cover so Howard told them how good that was. Pat said he was on Howard's web site and saw how he was number 6 on the list of favorite songs on the show so he's trying to work his way up a bit. Artie joked that the number 5 song was Beetlejuice farting ''Hey Jude.'' There's no such thing of course.
Howard took some calls and let the fans kiss Pat's ass a little bit. One guy said he had some ''pre-cum'' coming out of his cock after hearing some of that stuff. Jeff the Drunk called in and said that it was stupendous and very, very good. Artie said that's coming from a guy with no ass so that was amazing. Howard said that the only thing wrong with this appearance is that Amber wasn't there. Pat said he gets a lot more respect with her on his side these days.
A caller told Howard that he saw Pat at a corporate event and they gave it their all there just like they'd do in a big concert. Ralph called in and asked Pat where that big gash on his chin came from. Pat said that was from a car accident he was in when he was young. He said he could probably get rid of the scar but he felt like such an asshole that he didn't. Pat said he could probably get it fixed now but he doesn't want to. Ralph told him he should though.
Howard gave Pat some more plugs and said that he's going to be performing with some people like Aretha Franklin at a big concert they're playing. He took a call from a guy who said that the best part of this interview was when he talked about the small clubs they play because that's the best way to connect to the audience. Howard said that you can find more about Pat's tour dates at PatMonahan.net. He wrapped up with them and went to a break after that.
Howard said that Miss Howard TV for October was there today. He had the guys show the picture of her to him and Artie went nuts over her. She came in a short time later and said that she's 20 years old. Howard figured she hadn't even slept with men yet. She said that she had only been with young boys so far. Robin asked Artie if he still wanted to go back to Dana after seeing this girl. Artie said that she passed on that already.
Howard said that this is Miss Howard TV and asked her what her name is. She said it's Stephanie Petruso. Artie perked up when he heard the Italian last name. She's from Scottsdale, Arizona. Howard asked her why she thinks so many American's can't identify the country on a map. She said it's probably because of the crappy education they have there.
Howard talked to Stephanie about what she's doing for a living. She said she's been doing some acting and stuff so Howard told her the next step is to sleep with Pauly Shore. Artie was talking about how hot the chicks are from Arizona. He shot his smash hit DVD ''It's the Whiskey Talkin'' out there in Tempe.
Howard asked Stephanie if she likes chicks. She said that she's not a fan of her own kind. She also revealed that she lost her virginity at 17, just 3 short years ago. Howard spent another minute with her and found out she has implants. Howard told her they look natural which she seemed to appreciate.
Artie thought about what he was doing 20 years ago. Howard told him he should just go out with her. Artie figured he could get a nice table if he took her to any diner in Jersey.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Carmen Electra and Joan Jett and how they've been seen out together around town lately. Howard said that there's a rumor that they're dating but that would drive him nuts if it was true. He said it's just crazy and he feels like he should be banging her himself. He said that Carmen had a hard time the last time she was there because of her Sybian ride the last time she was in. Her make up sponsor banned her from doing the show again for a year. He thinks the year ban on her is over by now but he's not sure.
Howard said that he had some audio of Carmen saying that she's just friends with Joan Jett. She was on Jimmy Kimmel talking about that. Howard played the clip and Carmen said that she worked on Joan's video and they became friends. She claims that they're just friends, there's no romantic stuff going on. Howard said that this was maddening and he thinks that they're licking each other's assholes and vaginas. He said that Joan probably straps on and rams into Carmen. Artie was singing some of Joan's songs and Fred started to play some jackhammer sound effects.
Steve got back to his thing and said that they've spoken to Dr. Keith Ablow and he thinks that Artie has hit a wall in the therapy thing. Howard said Dr. Ablow will be in there to counsel Sal and his wife soon. Artie said he might hijack him that day.
Steve said that Bob Levy was ranting about Baba Booey on Sunday night. He said that he was upset with dealing with Gary. Gary isn't so happy with that and he's said that dealing with him is like dealing with a Wack Packer. Howard said he's going to hold off on that feud until Bob comes in there.
Steve said that they have a story about Henry Hill opening a new restaurant. That led to Artie doing his Henry impression for a few seconds. Steve said that Henry isn't involved in the day to day operations but the recipes are from his cook book. Steve said that High Pitch Mike has a new segment on the Howard 100 News. He does a short commentary called the Low Down with High Pitch Mike and it debuts tomorrow on Howard 100 News.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll talk about the Chevy Chase interview and what other feuds might end on the show. Jon said they'll also talk about Brad Garrett's visit and the stuff he did. They'll also talk about Pat Monahan and his performance today.
Howard had some Emmy clips that he never got to. He said that there was one clip where Katherine Heigl was introduced and her name was mispronounced. She corrected the announcer in the clip. Howard said that if you're hired to do that job and you have weeks to prepare, you should know how to pronounce the name. Artie said he wouldn't blame the announcer, it could have been her boss that told her to pronounce it that way.
Howard said that Brett Summers died and Robin used to play her in the Match Game show spoof they used to do on the show. They spent a few minutes talking about her and playing some clips from the real Match Game. Gary came in a little later and said he had some of the Match Game stuff they used to do on WNBC if Howard wanted to play it. Howard played some of those clips from 1984.
Howard interrupted his clips and corrected himself and wondered how anyone could listen to him back then. He said that Jackie was doing the impression of Gary Burghoff in that clip. There were some other voices in there that Howard didn't even recognize. They had Al Rosenberg in there doing Minnie Pearl. Howard said that couldn't be Al doing that voice. He wasn't sure who it was but said they should hire that person back on the show.
Howard had Janie the Cleaning Lady playing herself in that clip. He said his comedy wasn't very pure back then and he really should have had her playing a character. Al Rosenberg was playing the part of Lou Ferrigno and Fred was Richard Dawson.
Gary told Howard that his auction for a visit to the studio on that CharityBuzz.com web site is up over $21,500. Howard said they have to let the winner of that auction see something really crazy on the show. He thought for a moment and said that they should be able to come in and see the World's Biggest Clit contest. He got in another plug for that before he had Robin get back to her news.
Robin mentioned that there was a picture in the news of this place where she had her accident when she messed her pants with diarrhea.
Ivy said that Kid Rock bailed out on the fight last night so it's a big deal because she was working with Beecher to get Tommy to be part of the fight. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go a short time later. Howard said he had to put her in a tight package because she could go on for hours. He wanted to keep it short so he could end the show at some point today.
Robin got back to her news and went through a bunch of various stories. They talked about the Emmys some more and why FOX was censoring the show so much when people were saying stuff that could be considered a curse. Howard said they didn't overreact at all because the FCC could fine them over things that they wouldn't even expect. They don't have a set rule for what people can say and the fines are huge so FOX did what it needed to do to protect themselves.
Richard argued with him a little bit and tried to defend his article. Howard said that the denture story was wrong too. He also said that the Crazy Cabbie story about a sex tape is just not true either. He said that Richard has to look at the source, it's Crazy Cabbie, he's crazy and spent a year in prison. Richard said he thinks that Cabbie was lying and never had the tape. Howard said he didn't say that in his article though. Richard said that they reported the denture story with a grain of salt and said it could be his dog's false teeth.
Howard asked Richard if they're friends because everything he writes seems to be negative. Richard said they are friends and he's very happy for him. Richard said he has no agenda with him. He said that people are fascinated with him. Howard said they should get some real stories in there then.
Richard said that people say stuff and that's where they get these stories. Howard said that he can explain the denture thing. Someone was in his house and saw the Efferdent stuff that he had in his bathroom and it's for this thing he wears at night when he sleeps so his teeth don't grind. He doesn't have dentures.
Howard asked Richard if he's going to print the truth from now on. Richard said ''yes, always!'' Howard said if this continues he might have to go out and find some dirt on him. Richard said he doesn't have any dirt to dig up. Howard thanked him for calling in and let him go so Robin could finish her news.
Robin got back to her news and ran through a bunch of stories before they wrapped up the show. Howard ended the show after Artie got in some plugs for his upcoming comedy show in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. They ended it around 11:15am.
Howard started off the show talking about the OJ Simpson robbery thing. Robin said that they're trying to throw every charge they can at him to get something to stick. Howard said he was even charged with kidnapping and he predicted they were going to do that. He said that the case it pretty interesting and one of the guys is supposed to call into the show tomorrow to talk about what happened. He said that this guy Tom Riccio is the guy who recorded the whole thing and he'll be the one calling in.
Howard said that one of the guys involved in the whole thing was getting married. None of them made it to the wedding because of this whole robbery thing. Howard went through what he knew about the case. He said that the stuff was all garbage and it wasn't stolen, it was stuff that was in the custody of a storage company and the storage fees weren't being paid so they became the property of the storage bin guy.
Howard said one of OJ's buddies told him about the memorabilia and planned out this raid on the guy's hotel room. They didn't plan on doing the gun thing but then things all went wrong when they went to the guy's room. There weren't supposed to be guns but some of OJ's buddies may have pulled guns without some of the other people's knowledge.
Now the Goldman's are saying that OJ owes them like $35 million and he shouldn't own that memorabilia, they should. They're also saying that he owns a Rolex and that should be theirs too. Artie said that if Riccio thought there weren't going to be any guns there, that would explain why he taped the whole thing. Then OJ may have not known it was being taped and that's when the guns came out.
Howard said that the memorabilia guy said that he records every conversation he has because people pull out of the deal all the time. He was just supposed to tape the deal that was going down that day. Artie said he read the story and thought the guy might be a bullshitter but now that he's heard more about it, he thinks that the guy could be telling the truth.
Howard said that Riccio is going to call tomorrow and fill them in on more stuff. Robin said that he sold that tape to TMZ.com. That somehow got Howard on the subject of YouTube and how people are always stealing his TV show stuff and posting it there. He said they wrote a letter to them and they basically told them they can't do anything about it. He said that they've pulled CBS's stuff off of there so they should be able to pull his stuff.
Artie said that a lot of his stuff is up on YouTube as well. He said that he'd like to be able to post stuff from his Letterman appearances and stuff like that on his new web site. Howard thinks that he'd have a hard time doing that. CBS probably wouldn't allow it.
Howard played some of the interviews that Sal did with some black people out on the street about the OJ case. He played them yesterday but wanted to hear a replay today.
Howard and the guys talked about the Phil Spector case for a short time too. They discussed the details of the case and tried to figure out what had gone on in that case. Howard was saying that it seems kind of odd that the woman would have gone over to Phil's house to kill herself.
Robin said that Barbara must be rethinking her decision to hire that woman if that's the case. Howard played the tape again and said that he doesn't understand why they interrupt each other while they're doing that show.
Howard changed subjects again and brought up Jenny McCarthy who has written a book about her autistic son. She's out doing interviews and bashing her ex-husband. He said she's also talking about how great Jim Carrey is. He doesn't seem to think that's going to last all that long.
Howard said that Jenny was talking about how her son had a vaccine that might be known for causing autism and she remembers seeing the life drain out of his eyes a couple of days after the vaccine was given. He said that she's sitting there with triple Ds and it's hard to take her seriously. He said he didn't want to bad mouth her because she does seem to be a good person. Robin said that she's heard that Jenny and Jim want to have that Goldie Hawn type of relationship and never get married.
Howard said he's tried to explain that kind of relationship to Beth but she doesn't want to hear it. He said that Jenny might want to get it on with other chicks and stuff. Artie told Howard to be careful talking about that stuff because it'll end up in Page Six that he wants an open relationship. Howard said that he really doesn't and asked Richard Johnson not to print that.
Artie said that Richard made the right move yesterday by calling in