| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
Howard and the guys were back from their Thanksgiving vacation this morning. Howard started off the show saying that he was listening to the shows while they were away and they were better than anything they could do this week. He wasn't sure why they came back.
Howard was also saying that people have been complaining about Robin ripping up newspapers on the air and they're suggesting that she just put sticky notes on the pages instead. Howard said he was used to it and it doesn't bother him but some of the fans were complaining and they're the ones paying for the service so they should get what they want.
Howard took a call and talked about the Jackie special they ran last week. He said it was great hearing them goofing on Jackie about everything. He also ready a story in the NY Post ('JOKE MAN' DOESN'T MISS STERN) about Jackie saying that he wouldn't come back to the show under any circumstances. Howard said Jackie called him for months trying to get the job back when he left the show. Robin said he hasn't called lately though.
Howard said they got some good feedback about the Ralph Free show they ran on Thanksgiving. He said he'd play some of that later on. He got to the caller and asked him what was going on. The caller said that he saw a SIRIUS commercial during a football game yesterday and he thought it was great. Howard didn't see it but he did see some of the football game that the guy was talking about. They spent a short time talking about that.
Howard and the guys talked about The Eagles being on 60 Minutes last night. They were talking about how angry Don Henley seems to be. Howard figures that he's so angry because he's a drummer. He writes songs and stuff but he's still just a drummer.
Howard said that the Eagles are amazing because they've sold so many albums and they keep going. They had a huge hit with Hotel California but they were done in with that one because it was so overplayed. They have a new album out and they've put it out on their own this time. Howard said they're now the number 1 selling album.
Howard played some of one part of that special where Ralph was arguing with Bubba the Love Sponge. Howard played the unedited version first and then played the ''Ralph Free'' version with the turkey clucking. They edited out all of Ralph's words which was kind of funny. The caller said he thought it was great the way they handled that.
Howard played another clip where Ralph was talking to Richard Roeper about some stuff. They were talking about the Ebert and Roeper show and the guest hosts they have on there. Then Howard played the Ralph Free version with the turkey sounds.
Howard read some feedback they got about the Ralph special. A lot of fans were thrilled that they edited him out and they'd like him left out of the show completely in the future. He read through a bunch of mail on that subject. He said that a lot of people were thrilled with that Ralph Free Radio.
Gary said they have a poll that says 65 percent of the fans were listening to the Ralph Free version of the show that day. Howard said those were unofficial numbers and he hopes to have the real numbers later.
The caller told Howard that he loved hearing the Jackie Puppet on the replays last week. Howard said he was listening to some of that stuff and he loved it too. He said his favorite moment was when Jackie was talking about how he came up with the idea to use the term ''anal'' for talking about anal sex. Howard said he seems to have invented just about everything.
Howard said he was very irritable and asked for 7 tickets at first and then knocked it down to 4 when some of his family backed out. He said that he was miserable going to the play of course. He said that he didn't want to be out late because he can't sleep in even when he's on vacation.
Artie said he realized that when he stayed with Howard and Beth out on Long Island. Howard said that Artie slept through the day while he and Beth were up early. He thought that Artie had died or something because he wasn't waking up.
Howard said he was out at a card game one time and one of the guys there passed out. Everyone thought he had died but Senator D'Amato's girlfriend was a doctor and looked at him and helped out. They sent the guy to the hospital and he was okay. Howard said he looked at everyone that night and wondered why everyone wanted to leave, they could have continued their card game. Howard said that they all wanted to go home because the guy was having trouble. Howard said he convinced everyone to stay and they stayed up playing cards until 2 in the morning.
Gary came in and said that when Fred fell at Scores at his bachelor party, they all stayed and continued partying while Fred was in the hospital. Howard said that's what they should do, once they're in the hospital there's nothing you can do.
Robin said that she was on a flight one time where a passenger had passed out and she was hoping that they wouldn't have to land early.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he just got a new Stiletto 2 radio and he was listening to a football game last night and thought it was great. He said that they show a color picture of the football team helmets on the player and stuff like that.
The caller also asked Robin if she straddled the guy on the plane who had passed out the same way she had done that to a guy in the hospital when she was a nurse. Robin said she didn't but then had to explain what she had done in the hospital that one time. She said that she was trying to shock this guy into reality when he was talking about how he didn't think he could live after losing a leg in a motorcycle accident. She said she got on top of him and told him that he was going to be fine. She said that she was showing him that he was still alive and that he could have a life.
Robin said that the guy thanked her for doing that and told her it was amazing. He figured he was okay after that. Artie thought that was very thoughtful of her to do that. He said that she's good at giving care like that. She was very comforting the day he talked about his heroin addiction. He said she came over and hugged him and comforted him about that. Howard said he'd like to be shocked too.
Howard said he loved this Young Frankenstein show and they were one of the few shows that wasn't effected by this strike that's going on. Howard said that Beth's mother came into town and wanted to go to some other shows but they were closed due to the strike.
Howard said they went to the show and it was hysterically funny. He said he usually hates musicals but this one was funny. He gave it an A+. He said he went to see another play one time and wanted to hang himself. That was ''Sweeny Todd'' and he has no desire to see the movie. He said this one was simple and funny and right to the point and it was great.
Howard said that if Frankenstein was in every play, he'd go see more plays. He said he was in a really good mood after seeing this play.
Howard also mentioned Marie Osmond still being on Dancing with the Stars. He said he's not sure how that's possible when she's such a klutz. He said that they got rid of Jenni Garth but she was better than Marie was. He said they have a race car driver on the show and he's really good even though he's never danced before.
The guys talked about how all of the Osmonds are involved with the show now. They all look the same and they're all involved with it in some way. Howard said he used to beat off to Marie when she was younger too but not any more.
Howard said there was something else in the news he wanted to read about but he forgot what it was. He said that he was reading about this movie ''Enchanted'' that was number 1 at the box office. He had no idea what it was about. Robin told him a little about it.
Artie said he went and saw a few movies over vacation. He said that he saw ''Michael Clayton,'' ''American Gangster'' and ''No Country for Old Men.'' He said that ''No Country for Old Men'' was fuckin' amazing. Jon Hein came in and told Howard about the movie ''Enchanted'' which he saw with his kids. He said it was so cheesy though.
Howard said that Battlestar Galactica started up their new season on Saturday night and realized that the Sci-Fi channel doesn't know how to market their gold mine show. No one knew it was starting again. He said he had a really geeky Saturday night. He watched that show in bed and had a great time doing that. He said that it's not actually the new season, it was just a 2 hour movie to keep people tied over until March when the final season starts.
Howard talked about this season of The Bachelor. He said that all of the women who are involved with that show are all psychotic. He said it was great though because the guy ended up picking the final two women and then turned both of them down. He said he couldn't stand any of them. Howard said he admires the guy for doing that. He said that Beth's mother got upset at the guy saying that he was afraid of commitment. Howard said he and Beth sat her down and told her that you can't judge him by something that's on TV. They had these women set up for him.
Howard said that one of the women that was on the show was arrested just last week for punching her boyfriend. That's the kind of women they're setting this Bachelor up with. He said that any woman who goes on a TV show to find a guy has to be a little off. He said that they did drag out Trista and Ryan who were able to stick together after the Bachelorette. Howard said that Trista looks like a house frau and Ryan looks like he's drained as well.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that she thinks that Robin waited until this past holiday to have sex with Jim Florentine. Robin just laughed and said ''Oh please.'' Howard said he's curious about her relationship and thinks that she's already done it with him. She said hadn't and told him to think anything he wants. Howard said they don't know how many days they have left on this planet so she should just do what she can.
Howard said that he's had some shitty sex before when he's really into a chick. He said that he had that happen to him one time and the sex was just horrible. He said that they did it a couple of times and it was horrible every time so they had to break up. He said that with that chick he blew his load immediately after going inside her. He said that he's found that if he really connects to a girl he can last a long time. With this chick he wasn't able to do that.
Howard asked Robin if she saw Jim Florentine during vacation. She said that she may have. She said she wasn't sure if it was once or twice, because she had forgotten already. Howard said it would be a bad sign if he was around the area and she only saw him once. She said that he was out working so he wasn't around that much. Howard said that he'd bet the farm that she's had sex with him already. Robin said that they don't see each other very often.
Artie said that he was out in Vegas with Jim so he knows that he wasn't around for like half the week. Howard figured that she saw him twice in half a week so that's pretty good. The caller asked Robin if she was able to recover from Jim's big balls slamming into her. She just laughed again. Howard asked her if she can feel a guy's balls banging against her when she's having sex. She said that can happen but she wasn't saying that about Jim's balls.
Howard said that Jim has big nuts. Artie said he's seen them because Jim whips them out sometimes. He said that they were coming back from a gig one time and they stopped at a rest stop. Jim was 2 urinals down and told him to take a look at them. He turned his head and took a quick look not knowing what he was going to see, and he saw his huge nuts. He said he did it in a way that he couldn't see his dick and it looked like a big bean bag chair in his crotch. Robin said that does freak her out and bothers her when she hears stories like that.
Howard said that Richard went on his train trip over vacation and sent him a really long e-mail and some video of an old guy shaking like the principal in Beavis and Butt-Head cartoons. Howard said he heard from some people that Richard was on the train drinking the whole time. Richard said there was nothing else to do on the train.
Gary said he heard that Richard and his girlfriend packed up a whole suitcase full of booze. Richard said that they did that and they had a bunch of stuff to drink. He said they took some wine and a bunch of other stuff. Richard said they didn't want to bother the guy in the bar on the train when he was on his break so they had their own stuff.
Richard said that he knows he's an alcoholic but he's not worried about it. Artie wondered why he'd put himself on a train where he knows he has to drink to get through it. Richard said he loves going on the train and he likes looking at the scenery out there. He said there was something magical about it. He said it wouldn't be as magical if he wasn't drinking. He said ''Everything is funner when you're drinking.''
Howard heard that Richard was yelling at some kids on the train. Gary told Howard they had some audio from the train where they had a crying baby right near them. Howard played the clip and said he'd be drinking too if he had that going on. Richard said that was going on at 2 in the morning.
Richard said he was stuck in a seat and not in a sleeping car. He said that they toughed it out and didn't get a sleeping car. He said that his girlfriend had a blast even though they felt like they had been beaten up by the chairs.
Artie said he took a train up to Boston over vacation but he can't imagine doing that just for the fuck of it. He said he had to go to work up there and didn't want to fly. He said he can't imagine doing that for fun though.
Richard said he was on the train for like 36 hours at a time. He said he had one set of clothes and some Simpson's sleeping pants for bed time. He said that they did get off in Colorado. They have to change crews every 12 hours or so too. Richard said this is like an old 1800s type of trip.
Richard said that the trains can go places that no one can go to and he really likes it. He said he was able to shower out in Colorado since there were no showers on the train. Artie said he doesn't know how to react to this guy. He said that if he was with that chick, who is hot, he'd be banging her all the time. Richard said that they wanted to go on a train and didn't think about the whole sex thing.
Richard said that there were some really weird people on that train. Artie said ''Yeah, like you two!'' Richard went on to say that there was one guy who was ripping Wall Street Journals for like 2 days.
Gary came in and said that Richard was talking to him about how he had gone to see ''The Big Lebowski'' and taped himself laughing at one point in the movie. He laughs every time and they recorded him laughing at it.
JD came in and said that Richard laughs the same way every time he sees this one scene and he's heard him do it a bunch of times because they all go to see the movie together. Howard played the clip and Richard is belly laughing while no one else in the theater is making a sound. Gary said it's just like that De Niro scene in ''Cape Fear'' where he's laughing inappropriately during a movie.
Richard said that when they got back from their trip they went out bowling. He said they didn't even bang before they went out bowling. They did have time to shower though. Robin thinks that they need an intervention there and they're enjoying the drinking more than sex.
Howard asked Richard how much he has to drink during that train trip. Richard said they would have mimosas in the morning, every morning, and they brought their own champagne and orange juice. He said he'd have some beer during the morning and some cranberry and vodkas and then some wine later on in the day. He'd get up in the afternoon after an hour long nap and drink some more. He said that they'd have beer at that point, until dinner. He said that he likes cranberry and vodka with his food. He'd have 3 or 4 of those with his meal. He said they have real good food like hamburgers and stuff like that.
Howard asked if they mind that he brings his own booze on the train. Richard said that's the cool thing about it, they don't mind at all. He said he did fall into a few people's laps when he was walking around drunk but the people think that it's just the rocking of the train that makes him fall.
Artie asked if the girlfriend is on the same schedule or if she asks him to do other stuff. Richard said that she's cool with it all and she has fun with him. Richard said he was thinking about taking up smoking pot instead of drinking but he doesn't want to risk getting into trouble smoking an illegal substance. He said that his girlfriend is a casual drinker and she doesn't drink as much as him.
Artie wondered how his girlfriend deals with him when he's drunk. Richard said he's really mellow when he's drunk so it can't be that tough. The guys told him that he's really obnoxious when he's drunk and he has no idea. Howard told him that he should have some kind of governor in his brain that tells him he's got to cut back a little bit. Richard said that this was a vacation though, he probably won't drink this week until Friday. He doesn't have to drink every single day.
Gary said he had a quiz for the guys and asked them how many mimosas Richard could have had in an hour at a place where they give free drinks for an hour. Fred guessed right when he said ''20.'' Richard had 20 mimosas for $12.99 at an all you can drink thing at a Mexican restaurant. Gary said that the people at the restaurant were freaking out.
Fred played a voice mail that Richard had left for Will one time where he was drunk and pissing on the street. He was also coming on to Will during that drunken call. Howard thinks that Richard might be gay after hearing that call. Artie said that he thinks that Richard is a gay guy too and that's fine, but he shouldn't try to hide it anymore. Richard said if he was gay he wouldn't hide it from anyone. He said it might be a little weird being around the guys after that but everyone seems to be cool about that stuff.
Howard said that he had to go to break after all of that. Richard said he had to thank Howard for something first. He said he read the new Steve Martin book and it was amazing. Howard said the book, ''Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life,'' really is good and Steve is a great writer. Richard said that he thought that Steve was a regular on Saturday Night Live but he found out that he was just a special guest once in a while. They spent a minute talking about that before Howard had to go to break.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. Lisa came in and asked Howard if he had any wedding plans yet. He didn't so Lisa brought up the story about JD going out to see his mother for their big reunion. Howard had JD come back in and asked him about that. JD said that it had been like 4 or 5 years since they last saw each other. He said that the Hawaiian dude wasn't there, he's still back in Hawaii and taking care of some stuff there.
Howard asked JD about his mother and if she's having problems with her marriage or anything. JD said she's fine and she looks the same as she did years ago. He said that she did have some tattoos on her leg that she didn't have before though. He said he doesn't remember what they were though. Howard and the guys had some fun goofing on JD a little bit.
JD said that his mother told him he looked handsome. Howard said that some kids are weird with their moms after not seeing them for 7 years so he wondered if it was weird for him. JD said everything was fine. He said they had a nice hello hug and hugged again when they said goodbye. Howard said that maybe they'll see each other again in 7 years. JD said that they will see each other before then. He said he may go to see her at Christmas.
JD said that his mother is staying here on the mainland and not going back to Hawaii. Howard and the guys were playing Hawaiian music and goofing on him a little bit. JD said that he doesn't like talking about his mother on the air like this and she doesn't want to be talked about. He said that she's not rich and she can't just fly home to see him all the time. Howard said she could have come back at least once in that 7 years they didn't see each other.
Howard said he bets that his mother's husband would go back to see his kids in Hawaii. He also asked JD what the tattoos were on his mother's leg. JD insists that he can't remember them but Howard said that would be pretty big news to him if he saw tattoos on his mother's leg. He should know what they were. JD said that she got one or two and he really doesn't remember what they were. Howard said he's got to be full of shit and he should have known what they were. He had to have looked at them. JD said that they may have been clouds and the sun or something. He doesn't care what they were and that's why he doesn't remember what they were.
JD said that she keeps them covered up with pants so he can't remember what they were. The guys threw out a few lines for what it could have said like ''I love (the N-word)'' or something like that. Howard said stuff like that would be great to tattoo on someone when they're passed out drunk.
Howard said he thinks that JD is lying about this and he has to know what they were. JD said he honestly doesn't remember exactly what it was. He thinks it was something to do with nature. Howard thinks that he's embarrassed by it and that's why he won't tell them what it was. Howard said that he must think he's an idiot. He looked at the tattoo and has to know what it was.
JD said that it was a design but he didn't know how to describe it. Howard said that it's his mom, he hadn't seen her in 7 years and now she's marked permanently and he doesn't know what it is. JD said it was a symbol that he couldn't describe ''I guess.'' Howard told him to get out of there because he's insulting his intelligence and he's done it for the last time.
JD said that they met up in Ohio and went to his grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. He said they talked about little things and it's not like they never talk. Howard was still on the tattoo thing and wondered how he couldn't remember what it was. He thought that was really weird. He also asked JD why he thinks he's the bad one when it comes to their relationship. JD said he doesn't think he's the bad one but he feels that he could be the reason that they haven't seen each other a lot lately.
JD said that his mother did ask him if he has a girlfriend but he just told her he doesn't. He didn't talk about the porno chicks that he's had like Kimberly Kane. He said that she wasn't his girlfriend though. Howard told JD he's happy he saw his mom. He told him that he would have flown him out anywhere to see his mother if he would have let him.
Howard said that JD can't go to see his mom but he will spend $10,000 on internet porn and blow $800 on one stripper at Scores. Howard did an impression of JD talking to his mother about all of his Myspace friends. He asked JD how many he has. JD said he's not sure but he thinks it's up around 6000 or so.
Howard said that Fred was very much like JD when he was younger. JD could end up being just like him. Artie said that he's like an untalented Fred. A Fred without the genius.
Howard asked JD about the 6000 friends on Myspace. JD said that people just send him requests so he approves them. Artie said that this generation is really gay with the ''friend requests'' and shit.
Benjy said that JD has almost 7000 friends on Myspace and his brother is first on his list and his father is number 2 on the list. His father has his brother listed as number 1 on his list. Howard felt really bad for him when he heard that. His brother is younger than him and his father picked him as his favorite.
Benjy read some other stuff from JD's profile and that led to them finding out that JD doesn't even know how tall he is. He said he thought he was 5'10'' tall and that's what he put on there. Doug came in with a measuring tape and found out he was about 5'8 1/2'' tall.
Howard couldn't get over the fact that JD's father lists his brother as number 1 on his friends list. He told him he was so sorry about that. He wondered why that was and why he's not number 1. JD said he really doesn't care. Howard said his father must care, he put one of them first on his list. JD just laughed and asked if they want him to lay down so they can analyze him on the couch. Howard said he would never do something like that to his kids. JD said that his father doesn't have him listed as his second favorite son, he just has his brother in the first spot.
Howard said that's like someone asking his father to pick one of them to be put on the train to go to the concentration camp. If the Nazi's checked that page, they'd pick JD to go first. Howard and the guys had some fun goofing on him about that for a few minutes. Fred even went into his Kurt Waldheim Jr. impression for a few seconds since they were on the concentration camp thing.
Howard said they have to get JD's father on the phone to talk about this. JD said they really don't have to do that. Howard told JD that he should make his best friend his Hawaiian step-father. Then his father would have to make him number one on his list of friends.
Howard told Gary to get JD's father on the phone. JD said that he really doesn't want his family being discussed on the show. Howard said that they won't call him then. Howard said he's going to get himself a Myspace page and make JD his number 1 friend. He said that he's serious about that too. JD said there are already about 50 million of him on there.
Howard had JD's father Chuck on the phone a short time later. He asked Chuck about the Myspace page thing. He said he lists his other son as number 1. Chuck said the Myspace page is a joke anyway. He said that he's not that computer savvy and he's not saying that it's his favorite son, he just has them both listed on there. He said that his son added him to his page first so that's why he's the first one up there. Howard asked him why he's even on Myspace. Chuck said that he likes to read the stuff that the people write to his sons.
Chuck said this is the first he's hearing about the pictures being in order of favorites. He said if that's the case he's going to put his own father in the number one spot. Chuck was also saying that JD spent more time with him over vacation but he's spent all of this time talking about his mother.
Howard asked Chuck if the Nazi's came to him and said he had to choose between his two sons, which one would he pick. Chuck said he can't pick between them. He'd have to kill himself.
Gary came in and said that Chuck and JD's brother seem to talk all the time according to what he sees on his Myspace page. He had some notes from the page and asked JD if he knew his favorite movie or TV shows. He didn't know that Space Balls was his favorite movie. He did know that Cops was one of his favorite TV shows though. He didn't know about the favorite band which was Metallica though.
Benjy said that Chuck also has a song running on the page and it's ''Cats in the Cradle.'' Howard thought that was kind of odd. Benjy said that he thinks that his father could pick up more chicks with his picture too.
Howard said that things aren't so bad after hearing all of that. Benjy said that JD says that one of his heroes is Howard. Howard thanked him for that and let him go a short time later. He told JD that he's his best friend as Fred was playing Queen's ''You're My Best Friend.'' Howard made up some new lyrics for the song which were ''You're my second best friend...''
Lisa G got back to her news preview and said that they have a story about Mariann from Brooklyn being in the new Tony and Tina's Wedding movie. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
After the song was done Howard came back and Robin said that whenever she hears Led Zeppelin songs she can't get over the fact that they stole so much. Howard said they're still great but Robin said they're great because they did great renditions of songs they didn't write.
Howard changed subjects and talked about his Thanksgiving dinner. He said he had a ton of family over for the holiday and it was all beautiful. He said his father was the life of the party and he loves to talk about Seinfeld episodes. He loves that show and he quotes the show every minute.
Howard said his dad loves to ask him questions. He said they had someone cooking for them but he was the host of the party so he was still busy. He was worrying about his father getting what he wanted and keeping him happy. He said his mother was yelling at him that his father never got his coffee. He said he could have gotten up and gotten it himself, his place isn't that big. He could have asked someone too but he didn't bother.
Howard said his father was talking to his youngest daughter Ashley about why they picked that certain day to be Thanksgiving day. Howard said he didn't really know why so he just told his dad to tell them but he keeps asking over and over. Howard said he just wanted his father to explain it instead of quizzing them about it. Howard said his daughter told him he was mean when he yelled at his dad. Howard said it's not supposed to be a game show though and he just wanted him to give them the answer.
Howard said his father is just trying to prove that he's smarter than everyone, that's the way he takes it. His daughter felt like it was something she was learning and didn't think he was trying to prove anything. Howard said his father told them that they pick every 4th Thursday in November, not the last Thursday. His father told him he sat down and figured that out on his own. Howard said he must have had the question posed to him to have sat down to think about it.
Howard said his father was also off on a tangent about Dancing with the Stars because he can't believe that Marie Osmond is still on the show. He told his father to vote against her if that's how he feels.
Howard said his father is against fixing up their house while his mother wants to have it done. Howard said he told his dad they just need a little sprucing up but he doesn't want anyone in the house. His father doesn't think they should bother because they're getting old and won't be around much longer anyway. Howard said he did the math on that and figured he's probably right.
In the clip Richard calls in and talks really slow and tells them about his family problems and just drags it out as long as possible. They eventually cut him off and try to get him to the point of his story. Richard was mentioning every single family member and what they were doing so they had to hang up on him. Then Sal called in and did something similar where he dragged out his story. He didn't do the slow talking thing though. He just gave the history of each family member. The hosts of the show continued to discuss the calls and then they put Richard back on the line. He started to ramble again so they hung up on him.
Howard said that they haven't seen Chuck Norris in a long time but he's seen this video from the web where he's talking about getting the bible taught in public school. He said he thinks that Chuck has finally flipped his lid. He said that must be the reason he doesn't do the show anymore. He said that he's still looking pretty good though.
Howard played the video where chuck and his wife are both talking about getting the bible taught in school. Howard said that they might have to do an intervention. Robin said that they may have to kidnap him and get him deprogrammed. Howard said that they could hire a bunch of people to kidnap him and get him away from that wife of his.
Howard wondered how Chuck got to be an expert in all of this. He said that guy used to beat up Koreans in Korea and now he's an expert on the history of this country and what the forefathers wanted. He said he's a huge fan of Chuck's but he just wants to see him beating the shit out of people. He continued to play the clip and said that it's a really weird thing to be involved with. He said it does get him back on TV though.
Howard said that the forefathers also wanted to keep black people enslaved so maybe they should bring that back. He said that was kind of fun. Robin said that they lost Chuck many years ago. Howard threw him a bachelor party at Scores one time and he seems to remember him with his legs open getting a lap dance. He told Chuck that help is on the way.
Howard said that Ivy sent Gary a text message telling him to tell Benjy to come home to get his jacket. Gary said that he gets a bunch of messages from her and she recently told him how great it was staying with Benjy. Benjy said that they just lay in bed and talk about how much they like each other sometimes. He said that she's really calm and happy when he's with her and she's told him that she's never been that happy in her life.
Artie said he got a message from her one time saying that she wanted him to come over and fuck her. Howard said that maybe she's got Benjy confused with Artie. Benjy said she told him that he looks kind of like Vince Vaughn, which he thought was really nice.
Howard said they have to get her on the phone to talk about this. Gary asked Howard if he would let Benjy bring Ivy to his apartment for a party. Howard said he'd have her there before he'd have Benjy. He asked Benjy if she sits around talking about her issues with that Squrat character that she claims was stolen from her. Benjy said that they do talk about that kind of stuff sometimes.
Artie said he left the show and did an after-thing he had to do. Then he had a 7am flight home. He was in Vegas for a total of about 11 hours. He said he flew home and got home around 5pm. He went to sleep and got up the next day to go to another show in Poughkeepsie, NY. Then he had to do another show the next day up in Boston. He took the train up there and did two shows up there at the Comedy Connection. Then he went out to see Bruce Springsteen with Gary and Ross who were also up there.
Artie said that he and the guys got to see Bruce and the band rehearsing their songs. He didn't get to talk to him though. He said that one of the guys in the band had his last show that night and it was tough to watch them doing a tribute to the guy.
Howard asked if she ever leaves the apartment. She was there at his apartment as they were talking but she has her own apartment. Benjy said that most women see his apartment and tell him to clean it up but Ivy liked it the way it was. Howard asked her to put some feathers up or something in the apartment. She asked if she had permission to do that. Howard told her she could paint with her feces if she wants.
Ivy said that Benjy is really sweet and she really does like him. She said that she hasn't had a real relationship in a long time. Howard told her she can become ''Ivy Superbronk'' if she keeps going out with him. She said that she's not sure if he's her boyfriend yet. Benjy said that they do have feelings but they're not quite to the boyfriend thing yet.
Benjy said that he likes having her waiting for him at home. He said that they sit around and watch TV and surf the internet together. Benjy said that they went to the parade together last week. Howard said she's got a smoking' body too. Howard asked how her ass is. Benjy said that it's really nice. Benjy said he was totally staring at her ass and it curves out real nice. He said that she could gain some weight though.
Howard said he pictures Ivy being really wild. Benjy said that he's pretty wild himself and he might be wilder than her.
Ivy said that Benjy has the best hands ever. She wouldn't say if she had sex with him but she was hinting that he had used her hand on her. She also said that he's given her many orgasms. She said that she didn't want to say how he did it but Howard wanted to know.
Howard said that Ivy is good looking as he was looking at some video of her. He said she's got too many tattoos though. Benjy said he was looking at tattoo removal on the web. Howard told her that she's smoking hot for a 40 year old. He said her ass is tight even for a 20 year old. He congratulated Benjy on that score. He said that she's got a great body and Artie should have tapped that before Benjy did. Artie said he was busy.
Ivy said that Benjy has calmed her down and she can see this relationship going really far. Benjy said that he has loving feelings toward her but he still loves Sheila too.
Artie asked Benjy if he's now backing Ivy in all of her fights and stuff. Benjy said that is kind of happening. Ivy said that he looks at her paperwork and stuff and tells her what she should do and he's really brilliant that way.
Dominic Barbara called in and said he heard from her 2 weeks ago and he didn't know what she was talking about. This morning she's understandable. The guys said that Benjy seems to have healing powers with his banging. Benjy said that he completely avoided being naked in front of her. He said that she's very smart but also naive because he told her that he can't get naked in front of anyone for religious reasons. He keeps his shirt on and walks sideways so he doesn't show anything.
Artie said that this is wonderful, Benjy and Ivy have hooked up and it's working out really well. Howard said that Benjy is always all sweaty and wondered if Ivy has seen that. Ivy said that she never noticed that.
Benjy said that now everyone is going to think that they can get Ivy because he's gotten her. Robin asked how he made this happen. She said that he was just very caring and helped her out. She fell for him over that. She said that she was hiding out at his apartment before she had to go to jail and he comforted her there at his apartment.
Benjy said that he thinks that she has some validity in her lawsuit against FOX. He told Dominic that he really believes that. Dominic said that he will review it for them if she stays with Benjy. He said that he wants to help Benjy out with that stuff.
Howard asked Ivy if she's fully shaved. Ivy said that it depends on the day. She said it's a lot of work and she doesn't have 2 hours a day to do that. She's very busy doing stuff and doesn't have the ability to do that.
Howard asked how many days it took Benjy to get her. He thought it was 3 or 4 days. Ivy thought it was more like a week. Benjy said that they're more into touching and kissing and not so much having sex. Howard was asking him what positions he liked her in. Benjy said he likes her in all fours across him. That made Ivy laugh.
Benjy said that Ivy has noticed his screaming at night. He has night terrors. Ivy said she's got the same issues and they both do that. She said that both of them were screaming at the top of their lungs one night recently.
Howard didn't believe that this was true and asked Ivy if she'd have sex with him on the show. She said that Benjy actually audio taped them doing some stuff. Howard wanted to hear that and then told Benjy to consider taping them having sex. Howard let Ivy go a short time later. Artie told her to do some vacuuming while she's there. She laughed and said goodbye a short time later. She was a completely different person this morning.
Howard said he has to get to this naked game show thing with John the Stutterer. He had to take a break first.
Artie said that he kind of freaked out because of something that's happened to him since he got so fat. He said that he got in the shower and lifted up his arms to wash his hair. He heard a ting on the shower floor and it turned out to be a quarter. He said it could have only been wedged in between his stomach folds. He said that he must have put them in his pocket and one got wedged in there and it fell out in the shower this morning.
Artie demonstrated how he can put a pen in the fold and it'll stay there. He said that when he heard the ping in the shower he couldn't believe that a quarter fell out. Howard said he had a shoe to stick in the fold if he wanted. Fred gave him some coins from his pocket and Artie stuck them in there to demonstrate how it happened. Howard said that he could keep his money in there to keep it safe. Artie said he could probably store his weed in there. Artie said that he couldn't believe that happened.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to play a game with Artie and have him get on the scale to compare him to what other fat celebrities weighed when they died. Artie didn't want to get on the scale and said he knows about what he weighs. He was eating cookies and said that he was depressed and didn't want the healthy meal that had just shown up. He was washing down the cookies with soda.
Howard figured that the coin incident would make him want to lose weight, but he didn't care about that now. He was just eating more.
Will came in and sprayed John with a dildo. John asked him not to do that because he's anemic. Howard had John show off his ass to Robin. She giggled while Artie said that he looks like Imus. She said that he's also ''very white.'' John said that he's doing this for the good of the show.
Will was smacking John with something and he kept asking him to stop. John kept saying that he was doing this for the good of the show. Howard told him he knows, he has to stop saying that. John kept going though.
Howard said that John is going to ask some Rock and Roll trivia questions. He wanted to know if anyone wanted to play naked. No one there even wanted to come in and play. Even Richard and Sal were nowhere to be found. Gary said that when John stutters his balls are bouncing around.
Howard said he was giving John $500 courtesy of Beeceuticals which is one of their sponsors. Gary said he wanted to play the game so Howard let him play.
Howard interrupted and said he heard that Artie had given a chick a room keep at a bar he was at up in Boston. Artie said that it was the other way around, she gave him a room key. She called him and he went down there and fooled around with her. He didn't bang her, he just fooled around a little bit. He said she was hot and he'll keep her number. He said she was very nice.
Howard said that John's penis looks like an earthworm with different colors and rings around it. John said that he's got high blood pressure and he's been pale for years. He has anemia and he's just fucked up.
Howard had John get into his game. John said ''Okay'' a few times and tried to ask his first trivia question. The guys were goofing on the coloring of his penis the whole time though. John asked a question that Howard didn't know the answer to. Robin, Artie and Fred all tried to answer but no one knew. Gary didn't get it either.
John said that he made the questions difficult so he could win a prize. He said they were legitimate questions. Robin said that no one cared though. John went into another question that no one cared about. They all said that the questions were boring. Howard said they have to have someone write them for him.
john said that the questions are great. He went into another one and asked Fred the question about a guitarist who was the only one known to have played on a Jimi Hendrix recording while he was still alive. The guys threw out some names and Fred got it with the answer of Dave Mason. Gary said that no one cares about these questions though.
Howard cut John off and gave him a $500 prize. He wanted to wrap up the game and didn't want to let John ask anything else. John was trying to tell the guys some stuff but Howard kept cutting him off saying it was time to go. He'd let him go on and on a little bit but then he'd cut him off again. He eventually went to break.
Howard read through the article and found a paragraph where they talk about him being on some AM station and how they can't believe that because he's like the greatest shock jock of all time. Howard said that this is the guy who once said that they should assassinate more black leaders so we could get a whole week off. They also claim that Howard is the one who says worse things on the air than that guy every did.
Howard read about some of the other crazy stuff Greaseman said to get himself kicked off the air. Howard read them and wondered why someone would think he's great after reading that stuff. He continued reading the article and said he can't imagine hiring either Greaseman or Imus to do radio shows.
Howard said that there's an article where they claim that the only reason Howard has Robin on the show is because he's racist and he's trying to cover it up by having her on the show. He said that's demeaning and just not true. Now Imus is going to be working with a black woman on his new radio show.
Howard said that he's off the Ambien then. He said that it was weird how they gave this guy the Ambien. He would wake up and moan during the night and this one person wanted to give him a good night's sleep so they gave him Ambien and he woke up.
Howard said that he was telling Larry how proud he was of the show there at SIRIUS. He said he was also talking about Imus and how he'd tell his audience to go listen to his awful show to see how long they could handle it. He said it's like riding a bull in a rodeo. He said he was asked if he would stay there when his contract is up. Howard said he would consider it, but that doesn't mean he's going to stay.
Steve said that the AP released this story and he was just reporting on it. He wasn't saying that there's definitely anything going on there. Steve went off on Robin for a few seconds about that. He got back into his report and talked about part of the article where Alan Alda came by and swapped some chess moves with him. Howard said that the report was kind of wrong because he just told Alda that he should play against humans when he plays chess. Alan told him he doesn't want to play against humans because he's got an addictive personality and he'd be playing all the time. Howard said he gave Alan one move when he was on his way out of the restaurant and that was it. He said Alan was impressed with his answer and that was it.
Howard said that the story was boring and he wouldn't have brought it up himself. Steve thought Howard was saying that the McShane article wasn't true. Howard said that he was just giving details of what actually happened.
Steve said that the Connecticut School of Broadcasting hasn't gotten back to Artie since they dropped the idea of having him there to speak for the class. Artie said that the guy who suggested the idea to them up there has been fired and he feels really bad for them now. He said that he thinks that they're afraid that they're going to make fun of them or something. Artie said that he heard about them on Howard's show and Howard said that they're a sponsor of theirs. Artie said that he feels sorry for this kid who got fired and he's going to try and help him out. He doesn't know all of the details but he has been fired since suggesting that they have him up there.
Howard said that people are nuts. He said that really makes him angry and nuts. He'd like to know more about the story though.
Steve and Robin were still going back and forth with little jabs over their earlier fight. Steve got back into his news preview and said that they have a story about the Ralph Free day last week and some feedback from him from Hawaii. Steve got in some plugs for John the Stutterer's show and for Greg Fitzsimmons' show that's airing at midnight. He's having Joe Rogan on as his guest tonight.
Jon Hein came in and said they'll be talking about JD's discussion about his reunion with his mother. They'll also talk about Benjy and Ivy Supersonic's relationship. That led to Howard talking to Benjy about his breakup with his girlfriend Sheila. Benjy said he started dating other women in June so that's about when it ended. He said that it was a mutual break up though. Howard said that he must have been glad that they had broken up when he and Ivy got together. Benjy said that wasn't true, he still loves Sheila.
Jon said that they'll also talk about the John the Stutterer game show and how badly that went. Artie said that was one of the worst bits ever. Jon said that they'll talk about all of that and more today on the Wrap Up Show.
The NAB claims that they don't compete with satellite radio but then they pull that kind of crap and it proves that they do compete.
Howard talked about some stuff he saw on TV over vacation. Oprah was giving away more stuff to her audience members. He said that Jason looped together some of the screaming and crying on her show and you'd think that Jesus had just dropped in.
Sal came in and said that he was forced to watch Oprah's show and they give away crap on just about every show. They talked about some of the stuff that she's given away lately and went through a whole list of stuff. They give away cheap stuff and expensive stuff. it ranged from sorbet to a $3800 refrigerator. Howard said that they could do something like that on his show and give away toothpicks, wet wipes, nose clippers and stuff like that.
Sal also revealed that he learned how to play Chess over the vacation and he thinks that it's just like a glorified version of checkers. He said he's beaten his son twice now and he's ready to play Howard. He said that he might have to play high Pitch Eric first and then the winner will get to play Howard. Howard said that's the way they should do it.
Howard read through some e-mail from some fans who were upset with him for learning chess. He said that this one guy went off on him about it and said that it's an elitist thing to do. Howard said that it's actually a poor man's game and he's not sure what the guy is talking about.
Sal said that he had never tried chess before and he now knows how to play it after just a week. He said that he and his 8 year old son learned it in about 25 minutes. Sal said it would be great if he was able to beat Howard after just learning to play last week. Howard said he'd honor him if he was able to do that after such a short time.
Artie asked Sal how he learned how to do it. Sal said he sat down with his uncle who had a nice wooden set. He said he asked his uncle how to play and he was helping him out by giving him some hand signals and stuff at first. He knows how to play now on his own. He told Howard he knows how to do everything but then Howard stumped him when he asked him if he knows how to castle. Sal said he wasn't sure about that one.
Sal said that he thinks that Howard has blown this whole game out of proportion and he doesn't need to use all of the fruity terms that he uses to describe the game. Howard said that he can't wait to play a game of glamorized checkers against Sal. He said that you have to know how to play the game to know what's going on so Sal may not have been playing chess at all, he may have been playing checkers with a chess set.
Howard said that when he heard that money falling out of his belly story, he knew that Artie needed a nickname. Artie said that was really depressing. Howard had Robin get back into her news after having some fun with that Beef nickname thing. Howard was still laughing about the quarter falling out of Artie's belly. He said it would be funny if that was a spot where he could get money from at any time. Whenever he needs change he could just lift his belly and a quarter falls out.
Howard took some calls and one woman didn't know the whole story about Benjy and Ivy so she asked Howard about that. He told her that she's got to listen to the show and hung up on her. another caller asked Howard what happened to his dog Java. Howard said that she's still alive and living with his ex-wife. He said that he didn't want to take her away from the kids when he divorced. The dog is about 10 years old now.
Howard took a call during the news and the guy told Howard that Joe Kennedy had died last week and he was a friend of Bubba and Spice Boy. They were apparently pretty upset last week after they got the news.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he was trying to move some drugs around and he was hoping to get Artie to help him out by renting out some space under his belly flap. Artie said that he'd do it if he needed the money on the side. Howard said that he's pretty sure that they wouldn't check his belly flaps at the airport. Artie said he's flown a lot lately and they really have some dolts working at the airports as security. He said that they're really clueless. Howard asked Artie how funny it would be if all of the missing bees were hiding in Artie's belly flap.
Robin read a story where she brought up Rose Kennedy. That led to Howard, Artie and Fred all doing their Kennedy impressions. Howard was throwing out his ''Er-uh'' comments and goofing on the Kennedy's for a few minutes. Howard took a call from Wendy the Retard while he was doing that and asked her some questions as Ted Kennedy. Wendy didn't know she was supposed to be playing along though. She said she thought she was talking to Howard, not Ted Kennedy. Howard had to let her go but she told him that she's in love with Scott Ferrall. Howard told her he's a great guy and hung up on her.
Howard had Robin get back to her news and said that Governor Schwarzenegger will be calling in on Wednesday to talk about some stuff that's going on out there in California. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard started off the show talking about all of the stuff they had to get to this morning. He's got a bunch of stuff. He said they have a Playboy model coming in. As he was talking about that he saw Robin's new glasses and he wasn't sure about them. He told her they were kind of Swifty Lazar looking. Robin said she's trying a couple of different pairs. She showed the second pair and he said they look like something from Waylon Flowers and Madam. He said that they were a little too much for her. He said that they make a statement like ''I wear glasses and I love it!''
Robin put on the first pair so Howard told her to stick with those. He really didn't like the second pair. He had her put those back on and took another look. Fred said he digs those. Artie said they make her look like she deals crack. Howard said they look like something out of Star Trek. They were like a grill for her eyes. Artie told her she looks like Charles Nelson Riley.
Howard said he was thinking about Artie's belly making change yesterday and it was cracking him up. Artie said he was walking through the neighborhood and some construction guys asked him for change.
Howard got back to Robin's glasses and spent a little more time talking about how odd that second pair looked. Artie said they really were like Charles Nelson Riley sized glasses. He said Cuba Gooding Jr. wears some that look similar in ''American Gangster.''
Artie said that he likes living in New York because you have to interact with people all the time. Out in L.A. you don't have to do that. Howard said that's what he doesn't like about New York and he'd probably like living in L.A.
Robin said she really didn't like the little glasses anymore and that's why she went with the big ones. She was also telling Howard that she watched Dancing with the stars last night and got caught up in that stupid show. She said that Marie Osmond really is a klutz. She said that her whole family was there and so were the Spice Girls. She wasn't sure what was going on there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the glasses Robin has are very stylish right now. He said that they're all very ''bling'' and oversized. Another caller said he was listening to the replay this morning and he was laughing so hard that he was crying. Howard said he's been listening to the show too and the show really is funny. He was listening yesterday and heard Artie say something as Ted Kennedy that made him laugh really hard. It was something about the special Olympics being called the ''dumb dumb Olympics.''
Howard said they have this Playboy model Leticia Cline coming in today and she's so hot. He showed some pictures to Artie and both of them were drooling over her. She's willing to get naked for them today.
Artie said he was reading a book about the Ron Wood from the Rolling Stones and how he was broke from using drugs by 1984.
Howard played an old prank call that Sal and Richard made to a deli using George Takei audio clips since they were talking about the whole deli thing earlier.
Howard said that Sal must know that it's much harder than he thought it was. Sal said that it was and he was humbled last night. He's been playing on Yahoo so Howard told him to try playing on the ICC where he plays.
Sal said he thought he had the basic game down but that guy who beat him really taught him that he doesn't know much. He said that the moves the guy made came out of nowhere. Robin said that Sal was saying that the one thing he learned over the holiday was to protect his king. He said that on the Wrap Up Show yesterday.
Sal said that the guy who got cocky with him was only at about an 1100 and he really killed him in the game. Sal said he thinks that he can play Howard in the new year. By then he'll be prepared to play against him. Howard thinks that High Pitch Eric can beat him at this point. Sal said he thinks that he could beat Eric, he can't be that good.
Artie said that he knew a guy who played Chess at lunch and he was really good at it. It just comes to some people pretty easy. He said that he was really good at speed chess but Howard said that kind of chess is bullshit. He said you don't have to analyze that kind of game like you do in slower matches.
Sal said he's not going to join the ICC yet, he doesn't want to give away any of his tactics. He said he's going to be doing some research and trying to prepare to play against Howard. He was talking about some of the stuff he was learning by playing the games last night and he thinks that it could be too much work for him to keep an eye on the other player's moves.
The caller suggested that they play a game where Sal shoves a chess piece in his pouch and someone like High Pitch has to guess what piece it is.
Howard took a couple more calls and one guy asked about the camel toe on the chick Juliana on Dancing with the Stars last night. Howard said that she wasn't wearing a great outfit and that led to the judges paying too much attention to her partner's dancing moves. He wasn't that good last night because she looked so good.
JD got all upset when Gary asked why he doesn't have him come up when they're all there. JD said he doesn't like mixing his family with work. Chuck was basically saying that he likes to goof on JD because he likes to see the look on his face when he does that. Artie said it sounds like his father just doesn't like him. Maybe both of his parents don't like him.
JD came in and said that it does seem like his father wants to be a celebrity. He said he doesn't want to see his parents there, he never sees anyone else's parents on the air other than Howard's. Artie said that his mother would stop calling in if he asked her to do it. JD's father doesn't stop calling in no matter how often he asks him to stop. Howard said they should give Chuck his own show, that would really freak JD out.
Howard said that kind of stuff is psychological and if they can't get off on your penis alone, there's something wrong there. Robin said that it is physical as well and you can get off even if you're being raped.
Benjy asked Howard what he would use if he had to get a woman off with either his penis or hand. Howard said he'd use his penis. Benjy said he's more confident with his hand. He said he can do that for a long time. Howard said that Ivy was saying yesterday that she can get off with whatever Benjy does to her.
Howard said he's seen Benjy do stuff to chicks and he does try hard. He went down on a stripper one time with a cookie wrapper as protection. Artie said that happened to him one time, he saw a really gross guy doing something to a stripper and it freaked him out.
Robin asked Benjy how he can do that in front of his co-workers. Benjy said that he did it because he was in the moment, he wasn't doing it in front of everyone so they could see him.
Gary came in and told the story about the cookie wrapper thing and how weird that night was. He said that he thinks that Benjy may have either peed in his underwear or blew his load in his pants. He said that there was one moment when Benjy was sitting there with a woman and he had the oddest look on his face. He said that he later heard that Benjy may have been getting whacked off by that woman as he was leaving.
Artie said he saw Benjy one night and he had his hand in a group of people and he had that weird look on his face. Brian Phalen from Howard TV came in and said that a stripper once showed him what Benjy did at that bachelor party and showed him the load she had in her hand.
Howard said that he went home and shaved down his bush last night. He said he was freaked out by John the Stutterer's unshaved bush and he didn't want to look like that at all. He said that everyone has to see that on Howard TV. As much as everyone says they hate the gay stuff, they love watching it on Howard TV. He said they get the biggest number of viewers.
Howard said that John was saying on the Wrap Up Show that he was hoping to find some women by going in there naked. He played a clip of John talking about that and explaining why he did the nude thing yesterday. John said he thought that he could find some good looking women by doing that. At least one good looking woman he hoped. He threw in some references to a woman wanting him to lick and smell her asshole and pussy which grossed everyone in the studio out.
Howard said that he had another clip from the Wrap Up Show where Richard was talking about eating an artichoke when he went out to eat one night recently. He said he ate it and had something poking him in the mouth. He kept eating it even though it was cutting up his throat and mouth. Howard said that must have been an entertaining thing to watch.
Eric said that it looks like Howard is the one who is going to fail on this project. Howard said he doesn't care that much about this project. Eric said that he's written about 4 pages of the script so far. Howard told him that's only about 4 minutes and he needs to get into production on this thing.
Eric said that he'll have the script done before they go on their Christmas vacation. Howard said that doesn't mean that he's going to make the movie, he has to like the script. Eric said that Will has the 4 pages. He's not going to be making anything that they've talked about already. He's doing a ''take off on Charlie's Angels'' and he will be in the movie. He's going to play the part of Charlie.
Howard said he wanted Eric playing James Bond or something. Eric said that's too physical for him though. Robin said that's the whole idea. Artie was trying to help him out and said that they should do something like ''Charlie's little Angles'' where they have all of the little people on the show playing the angels. They could have Eric the Midget, Beetlejuice and that thalidomide guy who was on the show.
Artie came up with some ideas for that script and threw them out to Eric. Eric didn't seem to like them though. Artie could play Charlie and Fred would be Bosley. Artie said he was just trying to help Eric out with this whole thing but he didn't seem to want it.
Howard said that he was rejecting this script based on the fact that Charlie isn't supposed to be seen in the movie. He wants Eric to play an action part and not someone who can just sit there. Eric said that he's hoping to get some SAG recognition and the Screen Writers Guild recognition for it.
Howard threw out some more ideas for Eric to do a gladiator movie where he could be in the gladiator chariot or something.
Artie asked him if he's just doing this because he wants to get in the union. Eric said that is a big part of it. He was also saying that he wants someone to play his girlfriend in the movie and she's not available until May. He said that he has someone in mind and he wasn't saying who it was. He's given up on the girl he was trying to get a few weeks ago because she went back and slept with her old boyfriend.
Eric said he met her on Stickam.com. Howard didn't know what that was so he asked Eric what it was. He said it's a video chat site and he had a camera on him as they were talking.
Howard found out that Eric was going after a high school senior and told him how creepy that was. Eric is 32 years old and he's going after an 18 year old.
Howard said that he wants Eric to get back to work on his script and he really wants him playing a major role in it. He knows what the audience wants from him.
Howard was about to hang up but Johnny was saying that he loved that replay of the Jan Michael Vincent interview last week. Howard said that guy was great on the show. They talked about how good looking that guy was before he got into his accident. Artie said he was out at a bar out in L.A. years ago and Jan actually fell off a bar stool into his hands.
Johnny said that it sounded like Howard didn't know where he was going with that interview back then. Howard said that they really didn't know where they were going that day with that interview.
Howard let Johnny go and took some other phone calls. One guy was telling Artie that he has a pick service for betting and he's at 81 percent with his picks. Howard asked the guy for some picks for this weekend so he can bet them but the guy wasn't prepared to do that. Howard told the guy to call in tomorrow and give him a lock on something for this weekend. The guy told him he might need to hold off until Thursday. Howard said he doesn't want to know how he does the picking, he just wants a lock and some free money.
Robin said that Larry seemed fine to her when she was on the show recently. Howard said he was on about a year ago and Larry couldn't take his eyes off of Beth. He said that Larry went up to her and asked her to sit in the studio while he worked. He was insisting that she sit in and watch him even though she didn't want to. Howard said that she did come in and tell him that he did a great job and Larry made a beeline right to her when she came in.
Artie said that he's had guys take girls from him when he's talking to them. Howard said that's happened to him when guys come up and push him out of the way to talk to Beth. Artie said that he realizes that he has to get his chick out of there when something like that happens.
Howard said that he had a pretty famous guy come up to Beth and tell her she was beautiful just feet away from his wife. He said that Beth said that the guy looked like he wanted to eat her because he was so into her. It was really weird according to Howard. Robin said Howard did that to a woman once and tried to steal her away from her man. Howard said that he did have a married woman once but that wasn't the story Robin was thinking about.
Artie said that if he had one chance to do that to someone, he'd pick some huge asshole's wife to steal away. Howard said that he was out to dinner with this famous guy and the guy asked him what she was doing with him. The guy didn't get the whole thing. Howard said he couldn't believe the guy asked him something like that. He said the guy was a douche bag. He couldn't get out of there soon enough.
Howard said the story was kind of funny and he did laugh that night but the guy was still a douche bag. He said he had another woman tell him that she couldn't believe she was having a good time with him. She had been with other hot guys and she was surprised that she had a good time with someone like him. He said he finished up with her and got out of that as quick as possible.
Artie said he hates when women tell him that they're so sick of good looking guys and that's why they're with him.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he thinks that Larry King thinks that he's got a shot at someone like Beth because she fell for someone like Howard. Howard said that's exactly what Larry was probably thinking.
Artie said that he worked with Rebecca Gayhart on a movie one time and he thought that she was kind of into him. He said that the crew thought he was nuts and he never made the move on her. Then, six months later, he saw her out with Brett Rattner and Brett looks just like him. He said that she's now with a hot guy but back then she was with someone who looked like him. He knows that he should have taken the shot back then. He said that she was so good looking back then. Howard said that if she had left him though, he would have killed himself. Artie said that's probably true.
Robin said that she saw Gena Lee Nolin talking about how she's happy being fat now on some show last night. Robin said she gets pissed at women like that when she hears them blaming Hollywood for making them thin. They find a man to take care of them and then they fatten up. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
Howard said that he's been watching ''America's Greatest Next Band'' lately. Robin told him to stop with all of these shows he's watching. He went on to play a Baba Booey song based on that Robert Plant song they were just playing.
Howard said that the phones are screwed up again this morning. He said that they're blaming the phone company but it happens very often. Gary came in to talk about that but Robin's glasses distracted him. He said that they make Robin's eyes look bigger. Fred said that's true and she looks like Mr. Magoo when he'd put his glasses on. Howard said they had pictures of those new glasses up on his web site this morning.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. Howard told her that Artie was talking about how hot she was looking at his show the other night. Lisa said she was all dolled up and wearing contacts that night. She was wearing her ''going out on the town'' makeup that night too. She said she wasn't really feeling anything for Artie that night though.
Howard asked Lisa to tell them what's in the news but then asked her if she only dates black guys because that caller had asked about that earlier. She said that's not true at all. She quickly changed subjects and said that Robin is all dressed up and she's wondering if that's for Jim Florentine. Robin said that's not the case. That led to Lisa and Robin talking about the stuff she was wearing and how her nips were poking out. Fred did his Jim impression and made some references to her ''shrug'' and to her nips saying that ''the turkey's done.''
Howard said he wasn't sure if he liked what Robin was wearing. He had her come into the studio to show off her look. He had her spin around and said that she looked half the size that she used to be.
Artie was doing his Harry Caray impression making fun of Robin in her giant glasses. Robin said that he was ruining her glasses by doing that. Lisa G was laughing her ass off and said that she used to live in Chicago so that's why she was laughing so hard.
Robin asked Lisa what she thought about the glasses. Lisa told her that they were a little too big. Artie kept going with the impression so Howard told the guys to put up a picture of Harry up next to Robin on the web site. Fred played some actual audio of Harry Caray and got Artie into it even more.
Lisa said they have a story about Robin going out to lunch with Jim Florentine and the two kissed. Robin said that it was just a peck. She also seemed kind of upset that she only had lunch with him. Howard asked her if it's weird to kiss Jim Florentine. She said that it really was just a peck and it wasn't weird at all.
Jessica Hahn called in and said that the glasses are a little too much for Robin. She needs a little bit of tint in them and that would help. Howard said he kind of likes one pair, the pair that doesn't have all the bling on it.
A phone caller asked Lisa what she was wearing for panties this morning and if she had her leopard g-string on. She wasn't going to say exactly what she was wearing but did say that she wasn't wearing the leopard print.
Lisa got back to her news report and said that they have a story about Gary going out on the ice with the Islanders at a hockey game. She also has a story about JD's brother who was in the best friend box on his father's Myspace account.
Howard asked Harry what he thinks would happen if they do read the book. Harry said he thinks that the book is compelling and they would get into it if they read it. The book is 400 pages long though. Benjy said that he would do it. Harry said that he wants his honest opinion too. The book would take about 20 hours to read according to Benjy and he said he'd get it read by tomorrow if he can give him a bonus.
Fred said he wouldn't do it for less than $2000. Harry seemed to be fine with that. Gary asked if the interns are in the mix. Howard said he guesses they are. Meredith the Intern came in and said that she would read it for $500. Howard asked Harry if he was cool with that. He said that was fine with him but he'd rather have Benjy read it.
Will came in and said that he'd do it for $400. Benjy went down to $399 and then Meredith said she'd go to $250. Howard told Harry that it was still someone on staff if she read it. He said that she doesn't really have his ear like Benjy or Will would. Artie said that he'd read the whole book by tomorrow for $20. He was just being a dick though.
Howard had the guys bidding on the read and Benjy came in at $300 after a few minutes. Harry said that he'd rather have Benjy than Meredith since Benjy did have Howard's ear. Artie said he felt bad for Meredith and wanted to get her some money. Howard told him to write something and have her read it then.
Howard said he has a script from Isaac that he hasn't read yet and he feels shitty about that but he can't get to it. Howard said he really wants to get to the script but he just doesn't have the time to do it. Isaac came in and Howard told him he was sorry about that. He said he wants to throw it in the garbage because it's been sitting on his desk for almost a year now. He said he loves the guy but he can't make the time for it.
Isaac said that everyone he's given the script to has told him it's great. He said that Gary, Will and Artie's ex-manager said that he liked it. Howard said he's going to give it to his agent and see if he can have someone over there read it.
Isaac asked Howard to just read the script for a half hour. Howard said he can't do that and said that he has to make it into a movie and he'll watch it. Isaac said that the movie is about some 20 year olds coming of age in New York City and it's kind of autobiographical but not really. He said that he didn't set out to write an autobiography. The script took him about 7 years to write. He said that he was told that the script was really good and got some help with it from a guy that Howard knows. Howard said he might have to ask him about the script. He said he's done with movie production after this Porky's movie remake that he's working on.
Howard asked if there's any action in the script. Isaac said that there is action, nudity and everything else in there. It's called ''The Golden Life'' and he wouldn't hand Howard a script that he thought sucked. Artie said that reading scripts is a lot of work and he still hasn't read ''Dirty Work.''
Artie said that he doesn't bother reading the whole script. HE's just happy when they put him in a movie or a TV show. He said he used to get pissed when they'd give him huge parts in the Norm Show. He said that he just wanted to say hello and walk off stage when they were doing that show. He said that now he has Teddy to read some scripts and stuff like that.
Isaac said he's writing another script that has Howard in it so Howard said that maybe he'll wait for that one to get finished.
Howard said they'd call Harry back about this deal when they work things out. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said he really wouldn't want all of that responsibility running a business like a radio station. He said that he's just the talent and he's a worker. He'd rather work for other people and not be the business owner. He said he wants to be the guy who hates the owner, not the guy that people hate. He said that he doesn't really own anything there at SIRIUS even though Bubba thinks that he's his boss. He said that he's not the kind of guy who can tell a guy that they can't pay him to do his job. He said he respects what he does too much to do that to a guy.
Howard created a conversation with clips of Bubba the Love Sponge and Tim Sabean to show what a meeting would be like if he were running a radio station. He said he really doesn't want to be ''the man'' like that. He can't imagine owning a station. He'd have people like Meg Griffin hating him for not letting her play the music she wants to play. That led to Artie and Howard creating conversations that could have happened at stations back in the 80s if Howard was running the station and Meg was working for him. He and Artie were telling the imaginary Meg to play songs that she'd probably hate like ''Come On Eileen,'' ''The Kommissar'' and some other awful songs from the early 80s.
Howard said that the other jocks on NBC made him jealous back then because they could hit the post on the songs so well. He did some impressions of them talking up songs like ''Mickey.'' Howard said that it was an awful time for music back then. Fred threw in some more awful 80s songs like ''99 Luft Balloons'' and ''Rock Me Amadeus'' after Artie mentioned that one.
Howard talked about working at WNBC and some of the weird stuff that went on there after his show. He talked about some of the other jocks who worked there. Fred was throwing in a few other songs from back then and bringing Howard back to his WNBC days.
Howard said that he used to go into Pig Vomit's office and he'd have to hear how great Imus was at talking up songs. Pig Vomit wanted him to be more like Imus, he had no idea he had a genius working for him. Artie said that WPLJ was huge back then and Howard said he could have gone there. He said they wanted him to play 12 songs an hour though so he had to turn down that offer.
Howard said that they used to use the Hill Street Blues theme song to save them at some points. Fred threw in some of the WNBC jingles that they used to use over there. He played one of those so Howard could talk up ''Safety Dance.'' Howard blew it and talked over the post. He threw in a few too many references and blew it. Fred gave him another jingle and went into Duran Duran's ''Rio'' which Artie thought was a great one from back then.
Howard said he used to try and make Pig Vomit happy by talking up the songs and throwing in the WNBC call letters but he always did it wrong.
Fred had some old clips from Howard's show when they had Big Ron sitting in for him when he was out sick. Howard said that Howard lost his voice on his first day because he hated it so much. He hated everything in his life at the time and wanted to kill himself.
Howard said he never wanted to talk up songs so that just wasn't his thing to be doing that all afternoon. He said that he'd screw up the talk up and then he'd have Pig Vomit come into the studio and throw a phone. He'd get yelled at for saying ''NBC'' instead of ''WNBC.'' He'd also get yelled at for complaining about the shitty music they'd play.
Howard said he had to take a break but kept going talking about the old days. He said that he didn't want to deal with all of that bullshit back then so that's why he never owned a radio station. He took another phone call from a guy who said that he remembers an old Letterman episode from back when he was at WNBC and begging them to pay him some decent money at the time. Howard said he went on Letterman and begged them to fire him. He said that they were billing like $5 million a year and they weren't paying him what he was worth. He said that Letterman loved those appearances back then because he was going off on his parent company.
Howard said that all of these radio stations could have gotten rid of him if they had just pooled some money together and paid him to stay off the radio.
Artie said he was kind of upset because Robin had taken the Harry Caray glasses off. She said she went on the web site and saw just how big they were and they are too big. Gary told her to put one on top of the other. Robin said she's going to downsize them. Artie went into his Harry Caray impression again and goofed on Robin's glasses for a couple more minutes.
Howard took a call from a guy who suggested that they do a Harmeyer Brothers show on Howard 101. Lisa mentioned JD's brother earlier and said that he stammers just like JD so they'd make a great radio show. Howard said he'd listen to that. Artie was still doing his Harry Caray impression and making references to stuff that Robin has done in the past. Howard had to cut him off and go to break.
Howard played a clip where Chuck was talking about how he's been slimming down a little bit and has been drinking a lot of water. He had to run to the bathroom at one point and the guy in the bathroom went to shake his hand as he was taking a leak at the urinal. He wanted to punch the guy out and asked him if he was out of his mind asking to shake his hand with his cock in his hand. He said he'd shake his hand if he had gone over and washed it, but he didn't even do that.
Howard said that Chuck also talks about how much he hates being slapped on the back. He played a clip of Chuck talking about how he had some guys ask to take pictures with him. One of the guy smacked him on the back and he really didn't appreciate it. He said that he told the guy not to do it a third time or he'd be playing baseball with him. Chuck's buddy told him he shouldn't have even given him that much of a chance.
Artie asked Howard if he knew what it was that AJ Benza had done to Chuck that got him punched out. Howard wasn't quite sure what it was but AJ knew that he deserved a beating and went and took it like a man. Chuck punched him out and told him they were square after that.
Howard said he had another clip where Chuck and his co-host talked about a hot chick they had seen out at a club. She showed up at Scores and Chuck claims he took her home. He said that he wasn't able to get inside her because she was so tight. He said she was so tight that he wasn't able to get in even after using some Hawaiian Tropic and Vaseline. chuck tried to get into her ass too but that didn't work so it ended up in her throat.
Howard said he knows a guy who suffered through that same thing and it turns out the woman was a lesbian. Howard said this guy he knew had a black and blue penis from trying to bang her dry.
Howard said that they sent in JD to ask her out in the green room while she was out there. She said he did that and she thought it was a joke. Howard said they were going to play a game with the tape. He asked if anyone thought that she was going to give JD her phone number. Robin said she was going to say yes to that. Howard said there's no way that happened. Artie said he thinks that she gave him a number. Fred said that maybe it was her agent's phone number but she probably gave him something. Howard said there's no way he gave her any number.
Howard said he was just going to play the tape. Gary came in and said that they sent two guys in there, High Pitch Mike and JD. Mike went first and pitched a show idea to her instead of asking her out. Mike came in and said that he had 3 people telling him what to do. He said he was told to use whatever he could to get that date.
Howard told Mike that he was supposed to just ask her out. Mike said he did that at the end. He played the tape and you could hear Mike talking to her about going on the show and then telling her about a TV project that he's pitching. He told her that she might be perfect for the show. Howard cut off the clip and Artie told him that he's just a creepy guy. Mike said he was trying to bullshit her like he's heard guys do. He said he had three people telling him what to do so that didn't help either.
Howard said that JD went in and tried to get her number too. He played the clip where he goes in and tells her that he was the one who got the mail and forwarded it to the guys to book her for the show. Leticia tells him how nervous she is and JD talked to her about some of the other radio shows she's done. JD was asking her if she was going to be back in town and then said he'd like to take her out and get her number. She laughed and said she'd go to lunch with him. She gave him her card with her number on it.
Artie said he knew that she thought it was a joke and she gave it to him as a goof. Howard asked Leticia about the card and what number is on it. Gary said that he called the number and it did ring her cell phone so it was a legitimate number. Robin said that Howard owed her some money but he said he never bet on it.
Leticia said that she thought it was a joke and she was just being nice to him by giving him the number. She said that she texted KC after that and he told her to tell everyone that she's his girlfriend. JD said he saw the pity in her eyes and he knew that it was a joke. Howard told him to just ask every chick for her number. He might get some numbers that way.
Leticia said that she lives in Florida and she gets hit on quite a bit these days. Howard said that she's really hot so he's not surprised. He asked her if she ever has sex with girls. She said that she hasn't but she almost got raped by a couple a few weeks ago.
Howard read that Leticia can't date black guys because her family would freak out. She aid that's so true, she grew up in Kentucky and they'd all freak out. She said she didn't even have any black kids in school with her. She said she'd never be allowed to come home if she did date a black guy. She aids that the neighbors are the ones she'd have to worry about, her family isn't all that bad.
Howard asked if she could bring a Jew home with her. She said that would probably be okay. Artie thought she was Jewish because her last name was Cline. Howard said it's spelled Cline though so it's not Jewish. She said that was her married name anyway and the guy wasn't Jewish.
Howard asked Leticia if she walks around on the beach in bikinis like she's wearing. She said that she does. Howard wondered if guys offer to buy her stuff when she's walking around like that. She said she never gets stuff offered to her like that.
Howard read that Leticia had a touch time with her father when she was growing up and she once punched him out to get him away from her. She said that he was a drunk and he used to get verbally abusive and she had to punch him to get him away from her.
Leticia started having sex when she was 16 and she was dating a guy in college when she was in high school. She said she likes to be choked when she's having sex. She said that it's great for an orgasm and it's supposed to make you cum even harder when you do that. Howard said he's never had a chick ask him to do that. He joked that he's used chloroform on a chick but then said that he's probably too loving.
Howard read that Leticia had dated Ian Ziering for a while. She said that he fell in love with her too fast and wanted her to go to Cabo with him like the day after they met.
Howard read that Leticia was an accountant for a few years. She said she did that for a few years and just started doing the modeling thing a few years ago. Howard said that he'd be doing his taxes all the time if he had an accountant that looked like her. He asked her some accounting questions and she knew what CPA meant but didn't know what an abatement was. She said she did some property management stuff and didn't know what that word was.
Howard asked her what a CD is. She said that she couldn't remember and said that she never really had to do that kind of stuff. She said she knew what a CD was but just couldn't remember it. She said she was nervous.
Howard found out that Ian got to feel up Leticia. She said that he never got to have sex with her though. She said that she doesn't have that many famous guys hitting on her, she spends a lot of time around motorcycle guys and stunt riders.
Howard asked Leticia what she does with her son while she's on the road. She said that he stays home with his father when she's out on the road. She said that he lives with her when she's home but stays with his dad when she's out on the road.
Gary asked Howard if they're going to get her clothes off at any point. She said that she never said she was going to get naked. Howard said that she has to show them something. Gary said that she has to get down to panties and take a Sybian ride. She said that she's not going to ride that thing. She never said that she was going to get naked, she just wanted to come in and say hello to everyone.
Howard asked Leticia to take something off for them. She did take her shirt off and Artie let out a ''Jesus Christ!'' when he saw her. He also threw out a pick up line of ''I'm white...'' since she's so against dating black guys. She said that her father doesn't hate fat guys so that wouldn't be a problem.
Howard read that she used to sell weed when she was a kid. She said that her grandfather used to have it on his farm and she'd go in and steal some to sell.
Howard had Leticia stripping down piece by piece and said that she's so hot that it must cause riots out on the beach when she's topless down there. She also had a couple of tattoos on her that Robin pointed out. Howard checked those out.
Howard read that Leticia claims that she's really good at phone sex. She said that she is because she dates guys who live far away and that's how she deals with it. She said that the guys don't really get into it as much as she gets into it. She said she loves messing with the guys and has fun with it.
Howard wanted to pretend that he was on the phone with her and having phone sex with her. She played along and tried to do it for a minute but then she started laughing and said she couldn't keep it up. She told Howard that she was wet while he was talking to her and then laughed. Howard told her to keep going with it and tried to keep her going. He was doing too much talking so Robin told him to calm down. He asked Leticia what she'd do to him and she started to get into some dirty talk but kept laughing.
Artie joked that he came twice during that phone sex thing. Howard was pretending that he was in her mouth and telling her that he loves that so much. He said he wanted to be inside of her and stuff like that. Leticia said she's never had a guy talk back to her like that before so she didn't know what to do. Howard was still doing the phone thing with his megaphone and told her that it seems like she hadn't wiped very well that day. He kept it going and she pretended that she had him in her.
Howard gave up and told JD to come in and give this a try. Artie gave it a try first. He asked her to talk dirty to him. She said about 3 words and he made a sound like he just blew his load and told her to get off the phone, he was going to go watch a game.
JD came in and Leticia said that she was mad at him for playing that joke on him earlier. He walked out a few seconds later. She said that she really thought he was a nice guy though and wasn't trying to chase him away. Artie said she was being condescending to him and that wasn't cool.
Leticia finally took her top off after a caller told Howard to make it happen. She talked about some of the work she's done over the years and Howard told her that guys must do some crazy stuff to her. He asked her if she wanted to ride the Sybian. She said she didn't want to do it on radio or on TV. Howard told her that there's no insertion or anything but she said she really doesn't want to do it. She said that she's pretty sure she'd get off instantly but she's very shy about that.
Artie asked Leticia if she didn't want to ride it because it was black. She didn't say and just kept going on and on about how shy she was. Artie said that he thinks that she should either have to ride that thing or make out with him. He told her he was going to put some Vicks Vapo-Rub on his lips to prepare for her.
Howard asked Artie if she's a 10. He said that where he comes from, she's an 11. Howard gave her some plugs for her web site, LeticiaCline.com, and said that she's in the December issue of Maxim. He checked out her panties again and then Artie asked her to make out with him. She said she didn't want to do that. Howard told her she could keep all the change she finds in his belly if she does make out with him. Artie told her that she'd have about 8 bucks if she did that.
Howard took a couple of calls and let some guys comment on Leticia. Some guys said that there have been some really big stars on that Sybian and even Cameron Diaz had been on it (not really). She fell for it and eventually caved in and went over to the machine to take it for a spin.
Gary took control of the Sybian and showed her where to sit. Gary turned on the machine and started turning it up. Leticia said that it was going to be hard to get her off. She said it tickled so much that she could barely sit on it. Howard told her that she's really sexy and the noises were turning him on. He told her to stay with it as long as she could. She said she didn't think she could take it but started moaning and laughing at the same time. She told Gary to turn it down but she couldn't stay on it any longer. She said that it happened and she did have an orgasm.
Howard said that she looked shaken up. She said she was and it wasn't such a bad ride. She was shaking after that and said her legs were really shaky. The caller on the line told her that Cameron Diaz was never on that thing and she said she had a feeling they were lying about that.
The caller also suggested they put her on the tickle chair. Howard asked her if she has to pee because they could put her in that and try to get her to laugh so hard she'd pee. The guys immediately brought out the tickle chair and shackled her into it. She said she likes being tied up and she's had a guy do that to her.
Will volunteered to do the tickling. Howard had him go over and do that while he asked her some accounting questions. He decided to skip the questions after coming up with the idea. He told Will to just go ahead and tickle her. Howard told her she was a bad girl and that's why Will was going to tickle her. He started to do it and she wasn't laughing. Will eventually found the spot and tickled her. He went at it for a minute and had her laughing a little bit. She calmed down again so Will had to search around for more spots with Gary helping out. Artie went over to help but he got nothing.
Howard asked Leticia about the sexiest place she's had sex. She said that she likes to do guys while they're driving their car. She also said that she's had sex with only 3 guys and she's done a guy in a movie theater. Howard said he likes that she's almost a virgin with only 3 guys. He found out that she had sex and gave the guy oral in the movie theater. She said that she climbed on top of the guy and there were only like 7 people in the theater at the time. She said it lasted maybe 6 minutes. Howard said that was a very long time to have sex in a theater.
Howard wrapped up with Leticia and asked her a couple more questions. He took one more call and the guy asked her if she was watching ''Beer League'' in the theater where there were only 7 people. Artie threw in a plug for the DVD version of the movie since the guy mentioned it. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back belching and wondering what Fred was just playing. He said that people have been writing in wondering where the naked girls are so that's what they just gave them. He said that the Miss Howard Stern TV show is doing really well on there. He said the final episode is coming soon. That's the one where she throws up French fries through her nose.
Howard asked Artie if he got Leticia's number during the break. He said she wasn't into him at all so he didn't get it.
Howard read that the final episodes of Battlestar Galactica may not be shot because of this writer's strike that's going on right now. He read an article about it and Robin wondered why they can't just wait for the strike to be over to finish it up. Howard wasn't sure, he said that it would be very upsetting to him if they didn't finish the series. Robin said she just started to watch the ''Razor'' episode, she did have it on her TiVo.
Artie said that he's going to be picketing for the writers strike tomorrow. He's also got a great gig today that he's going to be doing. He's going to do about 4 hours of one liners for a video game called Leisure Suit Larry. He said he's getting paid good money to do that. Howard said that the game is (was) a very popular video game that was kind of sexy about 20 years ago. He said that it's got to be the 50th edition of the game by now. Artie is going to be playing the part of ''Big Al'' in the game.
Howard said that he actually called Artie's union and told them to call him up for the picketing as a ruse to get him to exercise. He was kidding but it did sound like a good idea. Artie wondered if he has to write his own sign or if they'll give him one. He said they'd better give him one.
The guys talked about how cool the name of the band was. Artie thought it was great. Howard said the album title ''Metal Health'' was a cool one too. Fred played a few of their songs as Howard was reading through the article.
Howard read that the band broke up basically because of this guy Dubrow. They got back together a few times after that. Richard had come in to talk about the band and said that they were out at Rocklahoma this past summer. He said that they actually sounded good. He said Dubrow's voice was still good after all these years.
Howard finally found the article where he read that the guy had gone back to live with his mother. That was kind of depressing. The band's last album only sold 4000 copies. Howard said that maybe being a rock star isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Steve also said that they spoke to Jackie Martling about his Page Six article and he was saying that he never called Howard to get his job back. Howard said he knows that Jackie would take that job back if it was offered to him. Howard said he knows that Jackie called Tom Chiusano and asked for his job back months after he left. They had to turn him down because they had hired other people by that point.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric is looking for a new home because the place he's living in is being sold. He has to be out by this weekend. Artie said Eric showed up at a comedy gig over the weekend and he volunteered to go on stage. Everyone booed him and then Eric hinted that he needed some money so he said he'd give him a few bucks. Then he showed up at 7am yesterday asking for money. Artie said he feels really guilty when he doesn't pay someone but he realized he should just duck him and screw him over like Eric does to other people. He's not like that though so he had to pay the guy.
Steve said that 15 years ago today the first Howard Stern Interview debuted on E! TV. The first interview was with Gary Shandling.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show rundown. He said they'll be talking about Leticia Cline's interview today. Howard said his phone sex was apparently bad today and he talked to much. Robin said she was trying to tell him that when he was doing that. Artie said his phone sex led to premature ejaculation. Jon said that they'll also be talking about Harry Frank's interview and some other things that happened on the show today.
Robin started off her news talking about Hulk Hogan's pending divorce that came as a surprise to Hulk recently. The guys said they hadn't been listening to Bubba's show to hear what hulk is saying about the situation.
a caller asked Howard what he thinks about the Washington Redskins player, Sean Taylor, getting shot and killed. The guy thought that ESPN had kind of downplayed the whole thing because they were reporting that the guy was just shot in the leg last night. Howard thinks that they were just reporting on what they knew about it. Robin read some articles about that story after the guy brought it up.
Rev. Bob Levy called in and said that women are evil and that's why Hulk's wife left him. He said that once the guy is out of the lime light, that's when the women leave them. He told Howard that he should stay on the air for another 5 years after this current contract is up. He seemed to be hinting that Beth might leave him if he's out of the lime light.
Howard ended up getting back into his Ted Kennedy impression again during the news like he did yesterday. Artie threw out a line that kind of bombed, unlike yesterday when he was cracking Howard up. Robin mentioned that Kennedy is talking about writing a book so Howard went into a whole discussion, as Ted, about what he was going to write about in this book. He said he's going to leave out the whole marriage with Joan, and in the book Mary Jo Kopechne actually doesn't die. He said that he's going to kill off Joanie in the book instead. Artie did have a few lines, as Ted, that he threw in that cracked Howard up a little bit.
Howard had to take a break in the middle of the news. After the break we heard a prank call that the guys made using Ed McMahon audio clips. Howard came back and had Robin get back into her news. She read a few more stories about various things. She read a story about this guy Steve Fossett who disappeared months ago when he went off on an airplane flight. His wife is asking for the courts to declare him dead since they haven't been able to find him. Howard said that you'll never hear about him dying in an experimental plane or a balloon. He said he doesn't mind that he'll never go on adventures like that.
Artie was talking about this show Man Vs. Wild that he's seen a few times. He explained to Howard about what the guy does and how he brings a camera man with him into these wild areas. Howard took a call from a guy who said there's another guy who does a show called Survivorman who does something similar but he does the camera work himself so he's even crazier.
Robin talked about how there were stores opening up at 4 in the morning on the Friday after Thanksgiving to let people get their deals. Howard said that Beth actually bought him his Christmas present already and gave it to him already because she was so excited about it. Gary said that he saw people lining up outside his local Best Buy store at 8 o'clock on Thanksgiving eve so they could get tickets for the ''door buster'' deals that they had going on there the next day.
Howard also spent a few minutes talking about Bob Dylan music and how he gets bored with that stuff. He said there are some songs he kind of likes but they just go on and on and on. He had Fred playing ''Tangled Up In Blue'' because he kind of likes that one but the story just goes on and on. He said he needs an edit in that song. A short time later he was playing a Robin Williams clip and asking Fred to play the Dylan stuff instead. Robin wrapped up her news a short time later and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.