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| Wednesday | Thursday |
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| Friday | This Week On E! |
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Howard started off the show saying that he was going to call off the show today because he just didn't feel like coming to work. The weather has been nice lately and he'd like to take off today while he has a chance to do it before the company lets them go without notice. Robin wondered what he was going to do to call off the show. Howard said he was just going to not come in and leave everyone hanging. That led to him talking about a local DJ who was missing in action and ended up getting fired. Howard wasn't even sure what the whole story was because he thinks his reading comprehension isn't all that great, plus, he doesn't really care.
Howard said there was a picture of a hot chick in a magazine he read. Her name is Nikki Griffin. He'd ripped the page of the magazine out and read the bio on her to Robin and the guys. Howard said he's a big fan of hers now. He also brought up how Beth was showing him an article about bathing suits and how they can tell other people what kind of person you are. She appears in the article showing her ass which he was surprised to see because she always walks out of the room backwards so he can't see her ass. He said that if he had an ass like that he'd be showing it off all the time. He was talking about how he covers up his penis and ass when he walks out of the room after having sex with Beth. He tells her that if she sees his ass it would lead to trouble. He says he doesn't care but Robin said he obviously does. Howard admitted that he does care.
Howard talked about the movie box office winners for the weekend. That got him talking about ''War of the Worlds'' has to do well because they spent something like $188 million to make it. He said that they did spend a lot of money with special effects in the movie and it's a good movie. He read that the budget on ''Spider-Man 2'' was $200 million so War of the Worlds was a good deal compared to that.
(''BBQ USA: 425 Fiery Recipes from All Across America'' and ''How to Grill: The Complete Illustrated Book of Barbecue Techniques'') who sent him a bunch of tools for his grill. He talked about the special long sleeve gloves that he got and how great they were. He got some brushes for cleaning the grill and some smoking boxes for smoking the food. Howard said he doesn't know where this guy is selling his stuff but he figured he'd give him a plug. Robin said she bought a grill but she hasn't used it yet. It's just looking got sitting out on her deck. Howard said he could give her some lessons. He went on to talk about how he bought a chicken, cleaned it up and grilled it. Robin said she doesn't buy whole chickens, she buys parts of the chicken. Howard told her that she really needs to grill the whole thing. Howard figures that grilling is a manly thing and that's why he enjoys it so much and Robin doesn't. He was telling everyone about how he cooked up this chicken after rubbing it with some stuff. He was also talking about how he cooked it as a Beer Can chicken. It took about 2 hours to cook it and it was delicious.
Scott DePace came in and said that he ruined a chicken last night when he put too much salt on it. He said every taste was pretty bad. Howard told him to use Kosher salt when he cooks. Scott told him that Rosemary is the best thing to use on grilled food. He said he uses that on just about everything he cooks. He asked Robin if she can start her own grill. She said she can start it but she runs away from it once it's lit. Howard said he's going to learn how to fish and then how to clean the fish so he's a real man. Artie told Howard to ask Richard Christy to teach him that stuff because he did all of that when he was living out in Kansas.
Howard told Scott he's going to get some of these tools for him to use. He told him he needs a good meat thermometer. Robin said that she has a digital one but Howard said he had one that he didn't like. Artie cracked a joke while Scott and Howard were talking about the stuff they cook on the grill. Scott said that Artie is back joking around and Howard was saying that his prescription drugs must be helping him out. They asked Artie about his weekend and he said that it was another sober one for him. He wasn't drinking at all so the guys talked to him about that. Artie said that he doesn't drink any non-alcoholic stuff or anything like that. Richard Christy was the one asking about that stuff. That led to Artie talking about how he and the director of his movie ''Beer League'' had a meeting over the weekend and he didn't want to stop working because he didn't have any drinking to do. Howard asked him if he got a shave over the weekend because he looked pretty clean today. Artie said he didn't go to the shave place again, he shaved himself. Artie said he's kind of worried about getting AIDS going to places like that. That led to them talking about how the razor that gets used is the same one for everyone so you don't know what's on it. They talked about the blue water they use to disinfect that kind of stuff. Howard said he shaves without shaving cream after getting out of the shower. Richard Christy asked him ''That don't hurt when you don't use any?'' That led to Howard goofing on him about his grammer and accent for a short time. Richard said that Sal goofed on him for saying ''Swimmin' Trunks'' the other day. He also told Howard about fishing with his father and how they would live on the 80 pound catfish they used to catch. He said they would freeze the stuff and eat that and meat loaf just about every night because they didn't have all that much money. He also talked about how his father would catch the fish and put their heads on fence posts. They had so many heads that just about every fence post for half a mile had a catfish head on it.
Howard changed subjects and said that a hero of his died over the weekend. Fred knew that he was talking about Paul Winchell but he had a mouth full of food when he said it. Howard talked about the guy and what an influence he was on him. Howard talked about the puppets he had and how the guy had over 30 patents as an inventor and did a bunch of cartoon voices over the years. Howard also read that the guy overcame polio and a some speech impediments when he was younger. Howard said he got into ventriloquism because of Paul Winchell. Robin asked him when he did that. Howard said he wasn't good at it but he could do some voices without moving his lips. He was doing it and not moving his lips but he wasn't saying much of anything that was intelligible. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about Paul Winchell's artificial heart invention and some of the other stuff he invented. He invented a disposable razor, a flameless cigarette lighter and an invisible garter among other things. That led to Howard talking about the stuff his mother used to wear years ago and how he doesn't know how his father ever got hard for that. He was talking about her girdle and giant panties that were so ugly. He said women back then were enormous and didn't care what they ate. Artie said he watched ''Some Like It Hot'' not too long ago and Marilyn Monroe was pretty chubby in that movie. Fred said she was actually pregnant during that movie but she lost the baby when she had a miscarriage. Artie wondered whose baby it was.
Howard said he was reading an article in People magazine where they had the ''10 Biggest Idiot Criminals'' and Crazy Cabbie was listed in there for his tax evasions stuff. Howard's picture was also thrown in there since Cabbie announced that he didn't pay his taxes on his show. Gary came in and told Howard that Paul got no money from the disposable razor thing because some people told him that it wouldn't sell. Another company came out with a similar idea and made millions on the idea. Howard said that's why he doesn't invent anything, someone would just rip him off. He talked about the device that Scott DePace invented and how he thought it didn't look all that light weight. Scott came in and said that the Video Caddy weighs less than a pound and he thinks that it's going to sell well. That led to Howard asking Scott about why they yell ''Fore'' before they hit the ball in golf. Scott didn't know but Artie said he thinks they do it to say that you're coming forward in the game. Howard accepted that and went right to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who told a couple of jokes. He asked ''Why are black people not attacked by sharks? - Because they're mistaken for whale crap.'' There were a couple of other lame Black and Jew jokes that he told before Howard let him go. Another caller told Howard about seeing him as Fartman back in the early 90s and then shared some stories about Paul Winchell. He said he heard that his daughter claims that Paul was abusive to his wife and didn't stay in touch with his own daughter. The caller thinks that the daughter would make a great guest on the show. Howard said he's not sure that many people know who Paul Winchell was so he's not sure he'd have her on the show. Gary said that on the daughter's web site, AprilWinchell.com, she claims that her father was a very unhappy man and she hopes that he's found a better place. He said it figures that his hero was a mess.
Howard had a new game to play where he had some audio clips from a Japanese commercial and a gay porn. He played two clips and the guys had to guess where they came from. Both of the clips sounded like they were from a gay porn. Robin and Artie guessed that the second clip was from a Japanese commercial and they were right. It was supposed to be a plumber trying to clear a clog or something like that. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard asked Lori about her web site and read that she did 9 porn movies in 6 months. Howard was going to have Richard Christy do some Butt Bongo on this chick's ass. He played some audio clips of some long drum solos that Richard could play along to when he's doing the Butt Bongo thing. The Led Zeppelin drum solo he was playing went on and on for minutes. Howard figured Lori's ass would be bleeding by this point if he let Richard play along the whole time. Howard said they should have gotten the live version because that goes on even longer than the studio version he played. Howard asked Richard if he could do the live version. Richard said he hasn't heard the song in years but he'd like to try the beginning of Van Halen's ''Hot for Teacher.'' A short time later Richard was beating Lori's ass with his hands. She was in pain before the ''Hot for Teacher'' drum solo was done. Lori said it stings but she likes it. Howard told her to take a breather because she was as red as a beet. Howard wanted Richard to do the ''Walk This Way'' drum solo but then Richard started to go again and Howard told him to stop for a minute. Then he had Richard play some drumming from some songs that they could try and guess. The first one he played was Rush's ''Tom Sawyer.'' Howard said Lori's ass was getting really red and told her she might want to take a break. Richard played another Led Zepplin drum solo and Lori was taking it pretty well. She said her ass was stinging but she had some baby oil to put on it to cool it down. Howard told her to take a break after Richard oiled her up.
Howard said Lori took quite a beating and Richard can really pound. Lori said she's had her ass beaten by a lot worse including a wooden spoon. Howard took a phone call from a guy who was impressed by Richard's drumming abilities. Howard read that Lori's grandfather allegedly molested her. She said he's not around any longer though. She said he stayed in a trailer in the back yard of her parents house. He was 75 when he passed away from Diabetes. She said she loved him even though he did that to her. She said that the guy would play games with her and she would get naked and ride around on his back as if her were a horsie. She said she'd jump up and down like he was a horse but he'd stick his hand up her dress and flip her off of his back. Howard was hoping to drum on Lori's ass but it was so red he wasn't sure he wanted to do that.
The guys asked Lori about her ''fitness model'' claims. She said she was a fitness model before she got into porn so that's why she calls herself that. Richard told Howard that Sal wanted him to ask Lori to do some wacky stuff. Howard said that they've had enough of Sal. Gary came in and asked Lori why the date on her signed release was a different date than she was claiming in the studio. Howard told her to leave her alone because she's being a good sport. Howard had Lori come over to him so he could do some Butt Bongo himself. Lori said that he was even rougher than Richard was. He did some drumming for about 10 seconds and got worn out pretty quick. Howard got back to Lori's life and asked her about how her husband wouldn't let her talk to good looking guys or even watch TV shows with good looking guys on them. Howard had Lori doing some poses for them in the studio to see her body. She did some stuff and Howard made some fart sound effect when she bent over. She's very proud of her abs so she was showing them off to Howard.
Sal the Stockbroker came in and asked Lori if she would do some sit-ups into his crotch. She was up for just about anything so that's what she did. Howard gave her another plug for her web site LoriLust.tv as Sal was getting into position. She did a few sit-ups but didn't like having Sal's ass in her face. Sal was trying to squeeze some farts out but Lori didn't like that. There was some squirting of mayonnaise going on during the sit-ups as well. Richard wanted to hear what Lori sounds like when she's having sex so they hooked her up with a vibrator. She wanted some lube but that wasn't going to happen. She went ahead and played with the vibrator a little bit but there wasn't much happening. Howard wrapped up wanted to go to break but Doug wanted to spray her down with some cooking oil. She was up for that and let him spray her down quite a bit before they wrapped up and went to commercial.
Howard said he missed seeing Greg Kihn on ''Hit Me Baby One More Time'' but Gary recorded it for him. This guy Greg Kihn covered Green Day's ''Boulevard of Broken Dreams'' but it didn't go too well. Howard played some of Green Day's original version and compared it to Greg Kihn's. Howard said he likes that show and also brought up the dance show that he's been watching lately. He likes that show because they have Kelly Monaco on it. Howard said he'd like to get her in there to do some butt bongo on her ass. Gary said they've been trying to get her on the show but after this week the show is over.
Howard said he got a note from John Stamos recently where he told him that he's loving life being single. He told Stamos not to write him anymore if that's what he's going to tell him. Stamos is hanging out in Miami right now doing some ''damage'' down there. The guys talked about John for a few minutes and wondered what he's been doing for work lately. Artie said that John and Bob Saget are rich from that ''Full House'' show so they might not even have to work.
Hook Nose Mike called in and said that he wasn't the one who called in on Friday as ''Hook Nose Mike.'' It was someone else and he suggested that whoever it was find their own way of calling in. Mike said that the chick that Howard likes on that dance show isn't as hot as he says she is. Howard said her face might not be all that great but she's got a kick ass body. Mike also wished the E! crew luck after the show is over. Howard read a letter from a guy who said that Howard seems to be cursing a bunch of things that have failed lately. They said that Howard picked John Kerry to win the election, and ''The Contender'' and ''Cinderella Man'' both failed miserably in the movies and TV. Howard said he's got a pretty good track record because he said that this dance show he watches was going to be a huge hit this summer. (He actually said that it was awful and he was done with it after watching the first episode).
Ralph called in and told Howard to stop saying that Kelly Monaco is that hot because she's not. Howard said she's way hot in his opinion. The two of them spent a few minutes talking about how big Rachel Hunter is and how bad she was on that show. Hook Nose Mike suggested that they have Ralph down to talk about how to not work and still make a living since he seems to be pretty good at that. That led to Howard and Robin talking about how Ralph has managed to work himself into first class seats when they fly places even though he doesn't seem to have any money. Ralph said that doesn't work like it used to. Howard said the biggest schnurer is Stuttering John. Howard heard that John's credit card failed when he went to pay for dinner with the guys the other night but Artie didn't think that was the case. Scott DePace said that he's not sure the card bounced but there was some kind of issue with the card because the waiter had to talk to him about it. It may have had something to do with the tip not being included or something.
Zolar called in and said that he knows why Ralph was voted most popular to be taken off the show. He said that he was out at a club one night and Ralph tried to bum a cigarette off of him. Zolar said he tried to give him a Marlboro but Ralph wanted something that was menthol. He said he was being picky about the cigarettes he was taking from him and that wasn't right. Howard had Robin start her news right after that.
Howard started off the show asking Artie what he had to eat first thing this morning. Artie said he had a toasted bagel with butter. Howard then asked Gary if there was something that he wanted to talk about first thing today. Gary confirmed there was but he hadn't given Howard the note about what it was. Howard also mentioned that there was another big doody in one of the toilets in the station's bathroom. He was asked if they wanted to take another sample to do a DNA test on it, Howard said he's done with that. He found out that they can't test doody for DNA. Will came in and told Howard that the place they called told them that they can't even tell if it's human doody. They won't be testing to find out if it's Cabbie's or not. Gary said that they still have that sample they took last week so Howard told him to get rid of it. Howard told everyone what they were going to do with the doody after they found it in the toilet, unflushed, last week. They thought it might be Cabbie's but he denied doing it so they were going to have it tested. Little did they know that they couldn't test it. Howard and Robin talked about Cabbie getting caught for not paying taxes after announcing it on their show. Howard said Cabbie could have gotten away with it if he hadn't announced it to millions of people.
Howard took a call from a guy claiming to be a Thetin 7 in the Scientology world. He was telling Howard about how they come up with the Thetin numbers by finding out where a person is on some chart they track them with. They were wondering where Tom Cruise is on that chart. The caller also told Howard about a web site that they ban Scientologists from visiting but Howard started to get bored with the whole thing. He said that all religions are wacky and they're just ways to get money out of people.
Scott DePace came in and ended up talking to Howard about how he got his job there working for the E! people. Scott was brought in from California and did some robotic camera operation and then got the job as director. Howard and Scott spent a few minutes talking about how he got the position even though he was never really an official director. Scott claims that he is a director and the camera operator was a stepping stone to the job. Scott had to defend himself when Howard asked him when he became an official director. Scott was saying that he knew camera angles and how to do the job. Howard told him that he's done a good job so far and didn't really have any complaints. He also said that Mike Gange got his job at E! after he was doing a horrible job working for him. That led to them talking about the time that Mike put some shows on tape for a friend of Howard's but he didn't erase the porn that was on the tape before. Howard said that killed him when that happened. The woman who got the tape was married to an ex-priest. Howard got into more detail and told the story again. He was going to give this tape to this woman who was recovering in a hospital for an illness she had. Howard had Mike Gange put this show on tape for her and Gange used an old porn tape to record on. He failed to erase the tape before hand so there was some porn left on the tape when they got it. Howard never got a thank-you for the tape and later found out that they had seen the porn and weren't amused. Howard said that Gange blames him for the problem even though he was the one who put the show on tape. Mike wanted out of the job he was doing for Howard but Howard didn't want him going to E! because he didn't think he was that creative. He thought that Mike was a slacker back then but he let him take the job anyway.
Artie said that he thinks Mike is a great guy but Howard said everyone is a great guy to Artie. Artie didn't have anything bad to say about anyone there. Gary told Howard that Mike Gange wasn't their first choice for an intern there way back when they hired him. He said that they interviewed some other people first. Gary shook Mike's hand and it was soaking wet so they hired a girl before he was hired. The girl didn't last more than 2 weeks or so and then they had to hire Mike. Howard got back to talking about Scott not being a ''real'' director. Scott said he directed a few other things and explained how he helped out with some news feeds and drag racing. Howard thinks that they need to upgrade their people if they get a new TV show going. He wants to have some new looks and angles when they do another show and he wondered if Scott is ready for that. Scott said he's ready and he already knows Howard's good angle. Howard says there is no good angle for him. Howard then asked Scott who the current camera operator is because maybe he could make him a director. Scott said it's Brian Phelan. Howard said they could let him direct a bit and Scott said that he has filled in for him a few times when he's been out. Howard told Scott he really didn't know that he wasn't a real director.
Scott bragged about how he caught Robin flashing her bra on the show where Cindy Margolis was getting sprayed down with water. He said he could have missed that shot because it was kind of a surprise when she actually did flash. Howard is still saying that he should have an announcement about what his future TV plans are in a couple of weeks.
Gary and Scott were talking about the war in Iraq and ended up talking about World War II. Gary was telling Scott that his father signed up to go into the army when he was only 17 years old. He thinks about how insane that is. Howard ended up talking about how there will eventually be a draft once Iraq drains our military and Scott will finally see what a mistake it is for us to be over there. Howard had to take a break a short time later.
Howard had an audio clip of Bobby Brown talking about how he and his wife Whitney Houston do this thing called ''slap boxing'' where they play around with each other. He said they don't beat each other up, they just play around. Robin said that's like OJ Simpson saying that Nicole Brown was the one who beat him up. Artie said the next thing after slap boxing is ''slap stabbing.''
Howard talked about a special they did on MTV where they had Ashton Kutcher's greatest rants from ''Punk'd.'' He then played an audio clip of Dave Chappelle doing a comedy bit / poem about Ashton Kutcher and his Punk'd show. It was actually on the Def Poetry Jam. Howard then went on to play some clips from the Ashton Kutcher ''greatest rants'' show. In the first clip Ashton was going off on a pregnancy test. Howard wondered how people watch that show and buy into that whole thing. The rant was awful and Howard doesn't get it. He said that Ashton is ''just... not... Human.'' The next clip was Ashton going on and on about how Kirsten Dunst thought there was no way she'd ever get Punk'd. He was going on and on about how she didn't call him back when he called her. Howard was talking about how bad the second ''Charlie's Angels'' movie was while they were talking about Ashton and Demi Moore. Howard was talking about how Demi's age is starting to show as she gets older. Howard was all over the place talking about Demi and the movie ''Ghost.'' That led to the guys talking about the guy who played the part of the guy who kills Patrick Swayze's character. Artie said that guy used to be a stand up comic and he heard a story about him getting pulled over by the cops one day. He got caught with some heroin and the cops told him that if they put their lights on the hood of his car and he did some stand-up for them, they might let him off. Artie said he heard he did 10 minutes for the guys and killed so they let him off. Artie also said that the guy, Rick Aviles, died of AIDS or something because he was a drug addict. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard said Henry Hill was on the phone. He was apparently an outpatient at a rehab center. Henry told Howard that he's been in rehab about 10 times but Howard figured it was more like 20 times. Henry told Howard that they thought he had throat cancer as well but he doesn't. Henry said that he's as ''fit as a fissle'' and was slurring his words as he was talking to Howard. Howard asked him what he wanted but Henry was barely able to get out that he's opened an Italian restaurant in North Platte, Nebraska. Howard thought he said ''Plywood'' Nebraska or something like that. Henry was slurring out some other stuff so Howard asked him to count to ten and then count backwards to find out if he's drunk. Henry wasn't able to count backwards but he quickly changed the subject and told Howard he's got his own sauce coming out soon.
Henry claims that he's in a lot of pain and that's why he's slurring the words. Howard said it's probably Karma coming back to get him for killing all of those people. Henry said he didn't kill anyone though. He was moaning and sounded like he was dying to Howard. Henry said he was swimming yesterday and all of his muscles are killing him from that. He got in a plug for his gravy which is available at SundayGravy.net
Howard took a call from this guy Pauly who always calls in when Henry calls in. He said he's happy that Henry is in pain and brought up how Henry was caught trying to bring some drugs on a plane recently. Henry claims that it was an empty syringe and it was just insulin that was in the needle. Henry was still moaning and Pauly was goofing on him about it. He told Henry to take the marbles out of his mouth and speak up. Howard asked Pauly why Henry is still alive after all he's been through. Pauly said that Henry's been hiding all of these years so that's why he's still alive. Pauly said that he wants to meet Henry face to face but the last time he showed up, Henry failed to show up. Pauly said he just wants to tell Henry face to face what he thinks about him. He's not looking to punch him in the face or anything like that.
Gary said that these days Henry isn't hiding. Years ago it was a hassle to get him on the phone, these days it's no problem just calling his number and asking for him. Howard said that Henry has to be high on something and Gary said he didn't sound like this yesterday. He was still moaning in pain so Fred was playing some moaning clips from this porn movie with an old lady moaning. Howard told Henry he sounded like a shark had attacked him or something.
Zolar called in and said he can't believe this guy is only 62, he looks 80. Zolar also claims that Henry was with him in a limo and pulled out a crack pipe and started to smoke crack in the car. Henry said that was years ago and he doesn't do that anymore. Zolar said he could have put an ice pick in the back of his neck at the time but no one was willing to pay him half a million to do that. Zolar said he couldn't wait to get out of the car with the guy when he was with him. Henry was telling Howard he was going to call him back in a couple of days after the pain goes away. Robin wondered if he was alone today. Henry said he's with Marie. Howard wondered who Maria is so Gary told a story about how he found out that Marie is his god daughter but he's only known her for about 3 weeks. Henry put Marie on the phone and she told Howard about the pain he's in and how she thinks he may be having some stomach problems like maybe a gall bladder problem. No one ever sounds like that after swimming. Howard told her she should get out of there and for her to tell Henry to feel better. Howard let her go after she got in another plug for SundayGravy.net.
Howard said he's dating someone who is 19 years younger than he is. He told some stories about how some guys see Beth with him and think it's one of his daughters. Someone came up to her the other day and said something about how she's grown up thinking that she was his daughter. Mike said that his girlfriend wanted him to go to a college formal with her but he didn't want to go because it would be so awkward. He said he used to go meet her at her dorm and even that was kind of awkward for him. Howard asked him if he's going to marry her because she is a bit young. Mike said he doesn't think she's interested in getting married at this point. Howard told him to enjoy the next five years or so while she still just wants to have sex.
Debra told Howard that if you look at Jackson as someone who never had a childhood and wants to recreate that, then you might understand him better. Howard said he doesn't think that's right and Jackson shouldn't be sleeping with young boys no matter what kind of person he is. Dominic Barbara called in and tried to help out but his cell phone connection was awful so what he was saying wasn't coming through. The phone cut off completely before he could get his thoughts out. He called back a few minutes later and reminded Howard about what Jack Gordon and Latoya Jackson used to tell them when they were on the show. Debra said that Jack Gordon did some damage to Latoya and she thinks that Jack put her up to all of that stuff back then. Howard told Debra that Latoya would come on the show and tell him that she needed to get away from her family, not Jack Gordon. Howard would offer to help get her away from her family but she would tell him that she could leave at any time.
Howard asked Debra what she was wearing but she wasn't going there with him. When he found out she's in her 40's he said ''sorry'' and dropped it. He got back to Michael Jackson and said that he would suggest that Michael lay low and stay out of the spotlight for a while. He also suggested that he shoot a home sex tape and release it so people will forget about the kid thing. Howard let Debra go after that.
A little kid called in and said that he's been a fan of Michael's for a long time and asked Howard why he can't go to Neverland ranch. He said he's 9 years old and doesn't understand what the problem is. Howard asked the kid if he's offering himself up for Jackson. The kid said he doesn't think that Jackson doesn't do anything wrong and he'd like to go there. Howard said it's too bad Debra wasn't on the phone because he could have asked her to hook the kid up. The 9 year old asked Howard what ''Jesus Juice'' is because he had heard about it. Howard told him it's wine so the kid said he might try it but wouldn't drink much. Howard had Debra back on the phone and had the kid ask her if he could stay there. Debra asked him if he wanted to sleep in the bed. The kid said he wants to go on the rides but he wouldn't mind sleeping in the bed. He doesn't think that it would be a problem going there because he thinks Jackson is okay. The kid, John, was saying that he wouldn't let anything happen with Michael if he did try to do something. Debra told John that he should use his own mind when it comes to this stuff. She thought that Howard was using the kid but Howard told her that he called in himself. John said he was willing to do whatever it takes to get to Neverland and that means he'd be willing to sleep in his bed if he had to. Howard let both of them go a short time later. Howard suggested to John that he stay away from Jackson until he's at least 20. That way he'll realize why they want him to stay away.
Howard said that they have a new feature over at his web site where they have a ''companion guide'' to some of the stuff they do on the show. They were recently talking about ventriloquists and they had a link to a web site of a guy who does a weird thing where he talks about life beginning but he does it in his ventriloquist voice. Howard had some audio from that and played it to show how creepy it was. That goes on for about 3 minutes according to Gary. Then the guy goes into a talk about how his mother killed him and sings a song asking his mommy why she killed him in an abortion. Howard said it was really creepy. The guys goofed on that for a minute and then went to commercial break.
Howard wanted to understand why Corey would have another man in the bedroom with him but he said that wasn't the case. Corey said that he and Susie did some crazy things before they were married but he didn't admit that they had other men in the bedroom. Howard wanted to know why Corey didn't get jealous when that was going on. Corey said that if you can express your feelings with your partner, then you can have a more open relationship. Howard was trying to get more out of them about having other sexual partners. They were on to Howard about that and weren't admitting to anything. Susie was telling Howard that she thinks that everyone needs more than one sexual partner by human nature. They spent a few minutes on that subject and Corey tried to change it over to Howard's girlfriend. Howard told him to come up with another subject that was more interesting that what they were talking about. Corey was asking Howard about whether or not Beth gets jealous when he goes to Scores. Howard said she does and he would get jealous if she had another man in the bed with her.
Howard took a call from Phil the Fag (Zolar) who said that Corey was messing around with him one time. That didn't go over that well so Howard got right back to Corey and asked him about the Michael Jackson case. Corey changed his views on Michael after he became a father. Corey talked a little bit about that stuff but didn't get into too many details. Howard got back to the apology that he was supposed to make to Corey but he still didn't know what he'd done wrong. He gave Corey a few plugs for the stuff he had to plug. He mentioned the Fatal Attraction play and a movie he has coming out this fall. He's also doing a voice for a cartoon called ''Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!'' He said that they have Mark Hamil doing voices for the cartoon as well and they have some products coming out later this year.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who wanted to ask Corey if Michael Jackson ever touched his pee-pee. Corey threw in a plug for the play again and didn't answer the question. Howard spent a few more minutes trying to get more information out of him but he didn't have much luck. Captain Janks called in and asked Corey if he's afraid of the wave... The wave that's coming up behind him because he's all washed up. Corey didn't seem to find it all that funny but did like how a guy who calls himself ''captain'' had a water joke. Howard wrapped up the interview a little later. Corey asked Howard about his upcoming move to satellite and about his TV show. Howard said that he should have more info about the TV show in about 2 or 3 weeks. The satellite move comes on January 1st, 2006 and he believes he'll be on the air right through the end of his contract. Howard gave Corey a few more plugs for the play and his other stuff and then went to break.
Ant came in saying that he doesn't know why the Yankees won't let people sing that ''Why Are You Gay'' song at the stadium. He said he's gay himself and has performed that song himself at games. Howard asked Ant about this ''Celebrity Fit Club 2'' that he recently shot. Ant said that they have Gary Busey, Jackee, Willie Ames, Victoria Jackson and others on the show. They spent a couple of minutes talking about the show. Ant changed subjects and said that he can't believe that Corey Feldman has had other men in his bed. Howard said that Corey has had plenty of hot chicks in his life so maybe they should drop it. Ant said that Corey's wife is very pretty and he had asked her if they were still having sex after the baby. She apparently told him that they have more sex after having the baby. He thinks she's lying about that.
Ant said that they had an O.D. on ''Celebrity Fit Club 2'' during the first week of the shoot. He didn't want to say who it was though. Ant spent a couple of minutes talking about how crazy Gary Busey is on the show. Howard asked him if he's still going on chat rooms to pick up guys these days. Ant said he's been hiring hookers instead because it's quicker. Ant has picked up some people in chat rooms and he will be seeing this one guy again sometime. Ant was also telling the guys that he's not a catcher in the gay game, he's only a pitcher. He said he's never received and only took a finger once. He's not into that stuff. Fred said that it seems like no gay guy is ever the catcher, they always claim to be pitchers.
Ant told Howard that he was sitting next to Rebecca Romijn on his flight last night and shared a couple of words. He said he's not sure if she knew who he was. He got a DVD player to watch a movie. While he was watching the movie he saw her making hand gestures while reading a magazine. He looked over and saw that she was circling her own pictures in the magazines she was looking at. He said she also took her shoes off at one point and her name was written on her socks in Sharpie ink. He thought that was kind of odd. Howard talked about how much he hates when people take their shoes off on airplanes. Ant said he does that all the time but he leaves his socks on so he can go to the bathroom to tinkle once in a while. Howard told Ant that he had to take a break
Howard had to move on to the news so he gave Ant a plug for his web site AntComic.com and had Robin start the news.
During the news Robin read a story about the two shark attacks that have taken place in the past few days. That led to Howard talking about how he could never save anyone from a shark attack. He said that even if his girlfriend was dying in a shark attack, he wouldn't be able to save her and he'd probably bring a Scores dancer to her funeral. They wrapped up the news a short time later and ended the show around 10:40am.
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Howard said it felt like they'd just ended the last show and they were starting the next already. He wants to start ending the show at 10 o'clock so the days don't run together so much. Artie told Howard that he was walking down the street yesterday and comedian Ant caught up to him and walked with him for about 10 blocks yesterday. He said the guy is a really nice guy and was carrying his cell phone around with him an doing some work while he was walking with him. Howard was talking about his Treo 650 cell phone and mentioned that someone suggested that if you leave your car in a parking garage, take a picture of it so you don't forget where it is. Robin suggested that maybe he could just look up at the number and letter of the spot you park in. Howard said he sometimes forgets where he parks and taking a picture would be a good idea. Robin laughed and said he just wants to have a reason to use his camera. He bragged that his phone works almost everywhere when Beth's doesn't.
Howard went to dinner with his daughter Debra and had a nice time. He talked about how hot it was yesterday and how he waits all year for that weather to come around. Robin complained about how humid it was and how bad the city smells when it gets like that. Artie said it's really bad with all of the garbage out on the streets. Howard changed subjects and talked about how there are new rules on the subways that stop people from changing cars while they're moving. He said a lot of people move cars because a homeless person might crap or pee in the car and they want to get away from them. Howard said it's like being trapped like a sardine when they do that.
The woman told Howard about the station up there that carries his show and how cool they are. Howard said hello to The Bone up in Portland after she gave them a mention. She told Howard that they're going to be in trouble when Howard moves to the new place. Howard said the latest rumor is that his company is going to dump him before the fall ratings book starts this year. He said that makes sense to him because if they're there for the ratings period in the fall, then the station can't sell advertising for the future. Fred thinks they'd be giving up on a lot of revenue if they did that. Howard talked about how great it would be if most of his audience followed him over to the new place but he doesn't think that will happen. He said he doesn't think they'll be off the air this fall either. Howard is wondering what the first day is going to be like over there. The woman on the phone asked Howard if he thinks that the creativity on the show will change when he's so free to say anything he wants. Howard compared his move to what Chris Rock does on TV. He said Rock is much funnier on an HBO special than he is when he can't curse. He's hoping that it will be the same for him. Robin said the big thing will be the fact that they can get descriptive when they're talking about things on the show. These days they can't describe some things on the show about the human bodily functions without getting censored. Howard said the show will get back to where it used to be when he makes the move. Howard said he won't be gross just for the sake of being gross, he'll just be able to speak freely.
Howard asked the woman on the phone what she was wearing. That led to them talking about how she's divorced and hasn't had sex in about 5 years. Howard said he was getting a vibe off of her and guessed that it had been about 5 years and he guessed right. She said she's not lonely though. She said she is on some anti-depressants though. Robin wondered why she was on them. She said she's apparently been depressed for most of her life but didn't realize it until her shrink told her she was. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard mentioned that Tom Chiusano's birthday is today. He's 58 years old. Tom came in and told Howard he was right about his age. Artie said that he looks like he's about as old as Tom and he's only 37. The guys spent a few minutes talking to Tom about his life. That led to the guys talking about Bob Geldof and how old he's looking these days. Howard said the guy can't be that old and thinks that he's in his 40s. Artie said the guy has to be at least 50. Howard said if he ever goes gray, he'll color his hair. Tom said that he'd do the same if he wasn't already gray. Howard told him to go ahead and do it but Tom thinks that everyone knows what he looks like already and doesn't want to do that. Howard went to break a short tim later.
Howard said that their final new E! show will air next Friday and the last show will be taped this Friday. He got in a plug for the Jessica Jaymes and Captain Sack show that's airing tonight on E!.
Mark McGrath from the band Sugar Ray came in to promote their new album ''Greatest Hits'' which has a cover of Howard's childhood song ''Psychedelic Bee.'' Mark came in and said it's kind of sad that the E! crew are leaving after an 11 year run. Howard said they may have another opportunity to do a TV show though. Mark is also working on ''Extra'' as a reporter. Mark said people are always mistaking the show for other shows though. Howard pointed out that Mark got caps on his teeth and didn't think he needed them. Mark said he really did need them because he had some janky wooden looking teeth. Howard said he remembers Mark doing shows and getting really drunk before doing them. Mark said he does some vodka and cranberry before he does shows sometimes. It loosens him up. Howard wondered why Mark puts himself down so much. Mark doesn't think he can sing but he's good. Howard mentioned that Craig, or DJ Homicide, was also there with Mark. He didn't know what to call him, Craig or DJ Homicide. Craig said that they could use Craig today. Howard got back to Mark and asked him why he's got the full time job now when they're as popular as they are. Mark said their last album didn't exactly light the world on fire so he needed something to pay the bills. They're still doing shows though. The other night they did a show where Bobby Badfingers opened their show.
Howard brought up the guy's new album and thanked them for putting their version of ''Psychedelic Bee'' on the album. He played the version they have on their album and played for him many years ago when they appeared on the show for the first time. Howard is going to be getting 8.5 cents per album they sell since he wrote the song when he was in 6th grade. Mark was telling Howard that he didn't think the album would sell that well since it's kind of a wrap up of the first part of their career. He said that the amount of money he'll actually make won't be all that much but if they sell a million copies, Howard will make about a hundred grand. Howard played some tracks off their album so he can help out with sales. Howard played some tracks to remind people about what these guys have done over the years. Howard asked Mark how he got that gig on TV. Mark said he's not even sure how he got it. He had to audition a couple of times and then the next thing he knew he was on a tour bus one day and on TV the next. He told Howard about how one of the producers saw him on VH-1 doing some stuff and though the kind of sucked but he had some potential. Mark said some of the stuff he does on the show is kind of tough. Howard told him that the people who are really pissed at him are the ones who trained to do that for a living.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Mark about his work on Extra. Mark said he's doing okay working on the show and is making somewhere in the neighborhood of 200,000 to 500,000 a year. He said he's very lucky to have that opportunity. It's like a regular job for him and the band is now a weekend thing. Mark has his own office for the show and he has to commute to work now. Craig said they're happy for Mark and the rest of the guys have their own stuff going on as well. Mark said some of the guys in the band have kids now and they want to see them grow up so it was a good time for them to take a break. Mark is also going to be in the TV show ''Charmed'' next season. Mark isn't even sure what part he'll be playing in the show. Howard said that Mark was on American Idol last season and Mark said he had a good time doing that.
Howard cracked a joke about having seen Craig on COPS. Craig told Howard that he's actually been taking care of his mother who had a stroke. He's got a recording studio at his house so he's been renting that out to people lately.
Mark thanked Howard for having them on the show years ago because they weren't going anywhere at the time. He said they got the offer to make Howard's song and after Howard played it and had them on the show, they got the chance to make their second album. Mark seems to think that it's all thanks to Howard.
Howard asked Mark about his love life and found out he's been on and off with a girl for about 11 years now. Mark said that she actually moved out on him about 2 years ago. He said he did cheat on her so that's one reason she left. He said he doesn't cheat now and he's working on making himself a better man. Mark asked Howard if he really liked their remake of his song. Howard said he likes it and would like them to try and remake ''Silver Nickles and Golden Dimes.'' He played some of that song that he wrote when he was a little kid. Howard explained the lyrics to Mark and said it was too heavy for Mark to understand.
Howard asked Mark if it was true he cheated on his girl with Paris Hilton. Mark said that Paris is cool but he didn't do that. Howard asked Mark about the upcoming ''Charmed'' job and if he's planning on doing the chicks on the show. Mark said he'll take whatever is available. Howard spent a little more time talking about the album ''Greatest Hits'' and gave them another plug before going to break. It's also available at Rhino.com
Howard took a call from a woman who told him that she saw Sugar Ray in concert a few years ago and thought they were great people and she's going to go out and buy their album today. She liked the cover of ''Psychedelic Bee.'' Another caller said he had a joke for Howard and the guys. He asked ''What do you call 100 blacks in the ocean?'' and gave the punch line of ''Polution.'' He said there was more to the joke and asked ''What do you call a million blacks in the ocean?'' and the answer to that was ''Solution.'' No one seemed to find the joke very funny.
Howard played a voice mail message that Richard Christy's father left for him on his voice mail recently where he was telling him about the cheese cake they got from him. His father didn't even know what the cake was called though.
Howard said that 50 Cent asked him to come down to the set of a movie he's shooting but he's not sure he wants to go there because he'd be afraid of getting shot by gang members because 50 was shot 9 times. Howard read the note he got from 50's people who said it wouldn't be a publicity thing. Howard said he really doesn't want to be caught in the cross fire and he was being serious.
Howard read a note from his friend Esthero who has a new album out. She said that if he buys 20 copies of her album, she'll show him her breasts. If he buys 100 copies, she'll let a midget touch them. He mentioned that KC Armstrong has a new DVD coming out soon and he's going to have him call in to talk about that and about where he's been for the past few months. Robin said she has no idea what to say about that when she's asked about it. He also mentioned that they have a show ''Companion Guide'' on his web site and he likes that better than the show description.
Gary mentioned that Stuttering John will be at the wedding because his wife is in the wedding party. Robin said it will be pretty interesting because John hasn't spoken to her since he left the show. Howard said he thinks that John resented Robin. Robin said she and John fought the day he left and she hasn't heard from him since. She said it will very interesting to see what happens when she sees him at the wedding. Ross called in a short time later and said that they could send the invitations back if they don't want to go. Howard told Ross he wants to go to the wedding but he thinks he's going to make a fool out of himself by making such a big deal out of it.
Howard told Ross that Gary was going to give him $500 and Ross said ''That's it?'' They also talked about how Ross is working over at SIRIUS now so they'll be having some fun with him over there. Gary said that they moved Ross' office near the new studio over there. Ross was on his way over there as he was talking to Howard. Howard asked Ross how old he is now and continued to go off on him about the whole big wedding. He also asked him if his fiancee has passed all of her ''jew tests.'' Ross said she did pass them and he didn't force her to convert. Robin wondered what that makes the children when the mother converts. No one seemed sure of that. The guys talked about Ross' bachelor party and they're going to be going out to Las Vegas for that. Howard won't be going because he doesn't want to spend a whole weekend out there. He asked Ross if he'll have any other celebrities at the wedding. Gary said that he'll have a producer by the name of Rick Yorn there. Howard said he's going to have a wedding band there instead of a DJ and he thinks that he should just have a DJ. Ross said it'll be fine and he'll like it. He knows he'll get the critique on the air the Monday after the wedding.
Gary told Howard that the Penthouse Pets that were there for the next segment were really hot. Artie brought up how Benjy was doing something to get attention this morning. He has a huge can of pineapple juice that he's been drinking and he had a huge can opener that he used to open the can. Benjy says he's drinking it because there's a lot of colds going around the office. Howard didn't want to spend too much time on that so he got back to the Penthouse girls and talked about them for a short time. Howard said they're doing a good job over there these days since the new owners took over. He said they were getting a little crazy with what they were doing over there.
Howard said that he made a mistake yesterday when he said that the Joker had killed Batman's parents in the comic books. He said he was corrected on that and also realized that he was wrong yesterday afternoon. He said it was actually Joe Chill who killed the parents. Howard read through some other e-mail he got about his views on killing all of the sharks in the ocean. There was some feedback about some of the other stuff they've done on the show. Yesterday Howard played a creepy abortion song that freaked some people out. There were also some complaints about Scott DePace's directing abilities. There was some feedback about the Jackson family lawyer who called in yesterday. There was some feedback about Artie not drinking and how it's great when he is drinking. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard checked out the breasts on one of the girls and Artie thought that they were perfect. The girls were telling Howard that they've all done each other so Howard was getting aroused thinking about that. The girls are staying at the same hotel and they said they like to hang out together. The girls said they like to flirt with guys when they're hanging out together but they end up going home alone. The girls were getting topless one by one and they were touching each other as they were doing that. They told Howard about hanging out last night at the hotel. Ginger said she wrote an erotic story and read it to the girls which got them horny so they started messing around with each other. She said she was having some fun with each of the other girls. She is the aggressor in all of that and she said that one thing leads to another and then tops will start coming off. Howard wanted to see how that happens so he had Ginger play with the girls in the studio. He had them kissing and talking about how crazy things get.
Howard moved on to the talent contest they were going to be competing in. Ginger was going to be first. He read her bio and talked about how she broke up with her 46 year old boyfriend recently. Ginger said she wants to go out and have some fun with the girls and stuff like that. She talked about how she would have threesome's with the guy sometimes. Howard said he can't believe the guy lost her. He said that Ginger was wearing a pink mini-skirt and wasn't wearing a top at this point. She was going to read her erotic story that she wrote about Howard and her. She read the story where she described a scene where she hooks up with Howard, rips his shirt off and ties it around his eyes. and then guides his hand over her leather covered chest. Howard unties her panties and takes them off. She spanks Howard and then climbs on top of him... and then a delay hit chops out the end of her story. There was applause from the guys in the studio after the read. Howard thought she should have done a dance while she was ther. Ginger said she wasn't sure what dance he wanted her to do but she danced for him anyway. Howard told her to stop because it was driving him crazy.
Howard took a call from a guy who went off on Artie about complaining about his job. Artie told him to come down there so he could punch him in his ''jerk-off face.'' As the guy was getting off the phone he told Artie his DVD was good so Artie had to change his tune and thank the guy for that. Howard quickly got back to the girls and found out that they have natural breasts. He then got to the next girl Cassia Riley. He read her bio and found that she has a boyfriend and brings home other girls for him. The guy is in a band. Howard read that she dated Everlast at one point as well. She said he didn't appreciate her but he was a pretty nice guy. She didn't bring home girls for him though. Howard had her perform her talent next. She said she was going to explain why Penthouse Pets are better than beer. She tried to explain what she was going to do but it didn't make a lot of sense. Howard just had her go ahead and do her thing. She read her first note about why Penthouse Pets are better than Beer but told her to go make out with one of the other girls instead. She continued her read but it wasn't going over very well. Howard let her go ahead and read her next line but there wasn't much of a response from the crowd.
Howard moved on to Jamie Lynn next and read her bio. She wants to move into real estate when she's done with modeling. She said her career is going fine now but that's where she'd like to go eventually. She had a poem to read as her talent. The poem was about Howard of course. She was standing there topless but Howard wanted to see her panties. She showed him the panties and then continued her poem. Howard took a couple of phone calls after that and one guy didn't think it was that hot. Another guy said it was really hot and he was loving it. Howard said that the girls were standing there touching each other while they were topless in there. The caller said he can't wait to see this on E!. Howard said this should make it on E! before the show goes away.
Howard talked to Ashley about her boyfriend and how he doesn't like to be with her very much. She said she's lucky if she gets it from him once a week. Howard told her he'd take her in the bathroom and finish her off right then if she wanted. The boyfriend would rather play video games than have sex with her. One of the other girls said she dated a weirdo like that. Howard read a bit more of Ashley's bio and then had her perform her talent which was a bit of a comedy act. She was going to be topless during that. She did some blonde jokes as her comedy show. Ralph called in a short time later and said they were kind of boring unless they were making out. One of the girls got upset about that and thought Howard hated her. Howard offered to give her a hug so that's what he got. Howard had Ashley finish up her comedy show and said he would give the girls a group hug when she was done. Howard told Ashley he'd be laughing more if her skirt came off. She showed them her thong when she heard that. Artie had Ashley come over to him to get her hug after that.
Howard told the girls that they all looked good today and it was going to be tough to pick a winner. Richard Christy came in and said that Ginger has some wild hair going on down below in her layout and wondered if they could see it. Ginger said she's not quite as wild now and showed them what it looks like. Howard then got everyone's vote. Robin was up first. She said that she was going to give her vote to Jamie Lynn and her poem. Next up was Howard who said he didn't know who to pick. He said he was very attracted to Cassia and wanted to jump on top of her. He said he would pick Ginger to go into a room to finish off he had the chance. He had to give his vote to her because of that. Artie said that he was going to base his vote on what poem he could block out if he was watching a Yankee game. Cassia was that person. Fred said that they all sucked talent wise and had to pick Jamie because she had the biggest breasts. Gary still had to vote but it looked like Jamie was going to win. Gary said that they really did all suck and it was going to be tough to pick a winner. He said he'd have to go with the one he'd want to do the most. He picked Cassia. That meant there was a tie between Cassia and Jamie. Howard said they had to have a play off. Mike Gange came in and asked if they could have a jumping jack contest. Howard said that wouldn't be fair. Doug Goodstein came in and suggested seeing who could get the most hands on a breast. That wasn't fair either. Richard Christy suggested a lap dance contest and Gary suggested a pose down with both girls getting naked. Cassia and Jamie both got naked but Howard didn't know who to pick. Howard wanted to pick Ashley but she wasn't in the finals. He said he had to have sex with Jamie so he gave her his vote. Robin said that she had to pick the girl who had the body she would want and gave her vote to Cassia. Artie picked Cassia and Fred picked Jamie. Gary was the final vote and gave it to Cassia who was then crowned the winner. She won the $10,000 prize which was courtesy of the movie ''Fantastic Four.'' Howard thanked each of the girls and gave them a plug for PetOfTheYear.com and Penthouse.com. Zolar called in as Beth O and told him that she was going to let him bang one of the girls. Of course he broke into his deep voice and broke character as he does when he uses his female voice. Howard had to go to break right after that.
Howard said that Yucko has a new show on MTV2 called ''Stankervision.'' It's basically ''The Damn Show'' but MTV wanted to change the name for some reason. Yucko said he doesn't care because he's got his own show now and couldn't care less what they call it. Howard asked the guys what they thought of the new name because he liked ''The Damn Show.'' Artie gave ''Stankervision'' a 6 while Fred gave it a 7, Robin a 4 and Howard a 9. The new show starts airing next week, July 8th, on MTV2.
Howard talked to Yucko about the Penthouse Pets that were just there. He thought they talked a bit too much. Artie agreed. Yucko told Howard that Tom had bleeped the word ''Nipples'' in one of his bits and this show isn't the same show it was 4 years ago. Howard said the erotic story got bleeped too and Gary had gone over the story to clean it up for the air. Yucko told Howard he's got to get out of there and get the monkey off his back... and he was talking about Robin. Tom came in a short time later so Yucko called him a douche bag. Tom said that they only hit the delay one time during that erotic story. He also went off on Yucko who was calling him names. Tom said that Yucko is actually one of his favorite guests and Yucko didn't seem to know what to say. Tom brought up Yucko's old act where he claimed to be a pedophile but Yucko said that was all made up. He yelled at Tom to get out of the studio a short time later. Yucko was goofing on Tom pretty relentlessly and didn't like that he was bringing up the pedophile stuff. Robin started her news a short time later.
Howard tried to do the Top 5 Songs during the news but number 4 and 5 were the same songs. It was apparently a screw up by Sal the Stockbroker. Sal tried to blame Scott the Engineer for the screw up but Scott told Howard it was Sal's fault. Howard also asked Scott about how he gave Mark McGrath one of his son's CDs when he was there earlier in the morning. Scott claims that Mark came into his studio and asked him for the CD so he gave it to him. Howard said when someone does that, he should tell the person that he's busy working and can't talk to them. He booted Scott out of the studio and got back to the news. They ended the show around 10:50am.
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Howard started off the show talking about how he heard that Sean Penn would be playing The Joker in the next Batman movie but they already used that character in a Batman movie with Jack Nicholson playing the part. Howard and the guys talked about how Jim Carrey played the part of The Riddler and how that didn't go over very well. Jim over did it with his portrayal of that character. They talked about some of the characters they used in the old Batman series as well. There were some famous people who played the evil villains on that series. Artie said that all of those guys were good on that show. The only one who was bad on the series was the guy who played Batman, Adam West.
Howard asked Artie where he was last night because he didn't show up for Fred's party. Artie said he was rewriting the movie he's working on and they have to find someone to replace someone who backed out of doing the movie. Fred's wife threw him a surprise party for his birthday. Fred said he can't wait until he has to pay for that. Howard said it is crazy how when you're married, everything you pay for is his. They had a band theresa that cost them even more. Fred said it was this guy Manny Manero who is supposed to be The Beatles of Brazil. Howard said he made Louis get up and dance while that guy was playing. Howard even got up and danced with his girlfriend a little bit. He says he can do Latin dancing. This was Fred's 50th birthday party and his wife started planning it about 2 months ago. He said she never contacted him directly but asked him to do a speech at the party. Howard was going to do it but he said he was going to do some research on it and have a whole multi media presentation. Fred's wife, Alison, told him it wasn't necessary. He said he thought he had gotten out of it until a few days ago when she asked him to say a few words, not do a whole presentation. He figured that Fred would have found it funny if he had done a whole presentation.
Howard said they had the party at The Water Club and people were thinking that Artie wasn't there because he can't drink. Artie said he has been told by his shrink that it might be too early to start going to parties but that's not why he wasn't there. Howard said he told Fred's wife that it was a work night and they all had to leave early. He wanted her to do it on a night when they could stay out late. She had a good point when she said that people like to go away on the weekends so it was best to do it during the week. Robin said she thought that Artie was on some kind of schedule and that's why he didn't show up. Howard said the party turned out to be very nice and he wasn't out too late. He was pounding back the drinks though. He said he had a really nice buzz going but didn't have to get completely s-faced like Artie does. Gary said he didn't have any drinks last night. He said he didn't ''need'' to have a drink like some people do. Howard said he had a couple of cocktails and a couple of glasses of wine.
Howard was told by Gary last night that Artie was out working on his movie and that's why he didn't show up. Artie said that his shrink told him that it was still a bit early to start partying so that did weigh on his head a little bit. He loves Fred and Alison and wanted to go. He thought about giving him a gift but wasn't sure what to give him. Artie admitted that it did have a lot to do with that whole thing that he didn't go to the party and scheduled the movie meeting instead. Howard got back to talking about his dancing last night. Robin said she missed it somehow but Gary saw him. Howard also talked about going to the bathroom where they had a bathroom attendant. He said he had to run out to his car to get five bucks because he didn't have any cash on him. The guy was a superfan of the show too.
Howard said Ronnie the Limo Driver had some stomach problems last night. He couldn't hold it in because he had to go so bad but the attendant was in there. Ronnie didn't want to go in front of the attendant but he really couldn't hold it in. Ronnie warned the attendant that it was going to be a mess and then spent 15 minutes in there unloading. Howard said that he ended up dancing with Ronnie a little later and held his hand. Ronnie said that if he had asked Howard to dance with him he would have made fun of him. Ronnie told Howard that he had his doody problem after they danced. He also told Howard about how sick he was when he went into the bathroom. The attendant had a radio in there with him so Ronnie told him to turn it up really loud. Fred recreated the moment playing some baseball music, fart sounds and some other things. Ronnie gave the attendant 5 bucks because he made such a mess. Ronnie said the guy was really nice and asked him how he was doing a couple of times.
Howard said that Ronnie's car ruined the whole surprise. Fred saw the car before he came in and knew what was going on. Ronnie said that wasn't his fault, he wasn't driving. He said he might have to go back to driving if they can't drive away and hide the car for a half hour until Fred shows up. Howard told Ronnie that it's his fault that the car is so big, not that it was parked where Fred could see it. Howard said that he and Robin were asked to speak at the party ahead of time but Tom Chiusano was asked at the party to say something. He didn't want to say anything since Howard and Robin were going to say something. Tom saw everyone else saying something so he got up and did one anyway. He was apparently using some lines that Mel Karmazin was feeding him. That led to Howard talking about how much Tom kisses Mel's ass even though he doesn't work for him anymore. Howard said Fred made a speech and said that he loves Howard more than his wife. Howard said he hates getting up to make speeches but Gary told him that it seemed very natural. Howard had a bunch of things written down but didn't use the notes when he made his speech. Howard talked about a speech Tom made at his son's wedding and how bad he thought that was. Howard told Tom he's going to miss him when he moves to satellite.
Tom told Howard that Beth looked very beautiful last night. Howard thought it would have been funny of Tom ignored Fred and just talked about Beth. She was supposed to wear a sun dress but she ended up wearing jeans. Tom said that she does jeans good. He had a view of her whenever she'd lean over and told Howard she had nice skin. The guys were wondering how Tom can talk about her like that and then not go home and masturbate. Howard took a call from a guy who said it sounds like he was the life of the party last night. Howard said Artie would usually be the life of the party. Artie felt bad that he missed the whole thing.
Scott DePace didn't show up to the party and it was all because of traffic. Scott said that it started pouring right before he was going to leave and then he turned on a traffic report and decided not to go. He also said that he wouldn't be able to drink because he's been on antibiotics for a few weeks now. Howard told him that was pretty rude because that party cost a lot of money. Scott said that Fred has been invited to some parties that he hasn't RSVP'd to. Howard said he heard that Scott has been telling people that he won't go to any party that he can't drink at. Gary said that he went up to the bar and saw a huge bottle of Jack Daniels and wondered if it was there just for him. Artie sounded like he was sorry he missed the party when he heard that.
A caller told Howard he was a homo because he was out drinking and dancing with Ronnie. Howard said he didn't get ''drunk'' though, he just had a nice buzz going. Howard changed subjects after the caller had mentioned his grilling and the guys thought he said something about gorillas. Howard mentioned that the new King Kong movie trailer is looking pretty lame. He and Fred both said that they don't think it's going to be good after seeing the trailer. Another caller asked Howard how Beth was looking last night. They spent a minute talking about her and about Tom's weird discussion a little earlier. The caller also asked what happened to KC. Howard said that KC is supposed to call in tomorrow to talk about what happened so he'd save that for tomorrow.
Tom Chiusano was back so Howard and Robin were talking to him about his anti-masturbation rule. Howard said he was sitting next to Tom's wife last night and she told him that she shops at the Salvation Army. He figured that Tom was just a cheap guy but she actually likes the clothes she finds for the prices she gets.
Bobo called in and asked if Sal was at the party. Howard said he wasn't invited. Bobo also asked if Jackie the Joke Man was there. Fred said he hasn't seen Jackie in a couple of years because he just kind of disappeared. Howard said he heard that a few guys who had girlfriends weren't allowed to bring them. Wayne Siegel wasn't allowed to bring his girlfriend. Fred said heard that when Wayne found out he couldn't bring a date, he asked to be able to sit next to a hot chick. Ronnie said that Wayne sat next to Howard's assistant Laura. Gary said he heard that Wayne was talking to some of the guys about porn movies and wondered if they're in porn. Howard said that Wayne had some ideas a few years ago where he wanted to work with Amy Lynn from Penthouse magazine. Robin told the guys about how Wayne had some ideas to get rid of animal crap from zoos. Howard said it is possible that he wants to get into the porn business but he thinks he should just stick to selling cars.
Howard talked about watching ''Dancing with the Stars'' last night and Joey McIntyre got voted off the show. Howard is still liking Kelly Monaco but he thinks she won't win because people seem to like the other couple. Artie talked about how tough it was for him to stay home last night. He said he's put himself in a position that doesn't allow him to go and it sounds like it's bumming him out. He's upset that he can't go to a party with his friends. Fred said he thinks his wife may have requested the Jack Daniels just for Artie but she put that request in about 2 months ago, before Artie started therapy. Artie said he's kind of bummed that he can't be around friends because they drink. Howard said it'll come in handy when there are things he doesn't want to go to because he'll be able to get out of them.
Howard had some new Orson Wells tapes where he was going off on a producer about starting off a sentence with ''In July.'' He was also complaining about their direction and how they wanted the commercial delivered. Howard played the old clip that they've played on the air before where Orson goes off on an engineer who asked him to read something for a second time after hearing a ''gonk'' during the take.
Howard said they have a picture of the girls in the Hard Ass contest up on his web site. He thinks that Leah is in the lead at this point for taking the contest.
Howard said that Janice is on the new season of ''The Surreal Life'' and he's seen the first two episodes and she comes off as being kind of crazy. He talked about how she was thrown off of ''America's Next Top Model'' and asked her why she was no longer there. Janice claims that they were taking a new direction and she may have asked for more money. Howard figured they were sick and tired of her but she kept saying that they were just taking a new direction. Janice said she's not hard to work with but Howard thought she was. Howard read that Janice once said that all of the models on the show who have won would never make it as real models. Janice said that the job is tough on that show because you have to look at these young girls and tell them they're too short, too fat or something like that. Howard brought up Adrienne Curry who was on the last season of ''The Surreal Life'' and said that she could never be a model. Janice said she can't be one now because she did ''The Surreal Life'' and sold out.
Howard asked Janice about going out with Jon Lovitz and tried to find out if she slept with him. She said she never did so Howard asked her if she gave him oral. Janice wouldn't say she slept with him. She was holding back and Howard wondered why she was doing that after writing two books where she talked about all of her conquests. Gary came in and said he didn't know what was going on because she was so honest back when she was promoting her book. Gary asked her if she ever dated Rick James like he'd heard. Janice said she didn't date him. Howard asked her about a story he read about Janice running into Madonna and how she used to smell of body odor when she was out dancing at clubs in the mid 80s. Howard brought up some other stuff but Janice didn't want to go there because she thinks the PTA is listening to the show today. Howard wanted her to tell just one sex story. He brought up Kelly Lebrock and asked her about sleeping with Kelly. Janice said that Howard was killing all of her deals by bringing this stuff up. Janice told Howard to get the book and read it himself. Howard wanted her to turn him on but she was't going to do it. Howard asked her how she met Kelly but Janice wouldn't even answer that. She said she wasn't prepared to talk about that stuff.
Howard said the new Janice Dickinson seems to be a virgin. He took a call from a guy who said that Tom Chiusano doesn't answer any questions. Another guy suggested that they get her off the air already. Another guy said that Janice is the Milton Bearle of super models and now she's just a grumpy old hag. Gary asked her what happened to the Janice that was there last time. Irish John called in and said that she sucks and to throw her off the air. Howard took another call from a guy who said this interview was horrible and didn't want her on anymore. Janice said she was just there to say hello to Howard. Then she broke down and said that they all suck and she was going to be walking away bummed out. Howard said he thought she was open for discussion but today she wasn't talking about anything. Janice sounded like she was about to cry but she said she wasn't. Howard asked Janice when she last got laid. She said it was this morning but then she said she had done herself. The PTA won't like her talking about that either.
Janice was saying that Howard was the one digging up this stuff about the people she slept with but Howard said that she's written three books about that stuff and he's not digging up anything. Janice seemed very upset and was about to walk out. Howard told her to sit down and stay but she wasn't going to stay if he wasn't going to be nice. Howard asked her about doing ''The Surreal Life'' because she seemed to have a meltdown on there as well. Janice said she wasn't having a meltdown but the interview wasn't that easy. Howard kept bringing up stories about the people she's slept with and she would complain about it. Artie warned her not to tune in tomorrow when Howard reads the email about her appearance.
Howard read that Janice is dating someone from ''The Surreal Life'' but she's not allowed to talk about it. The guy asked her not to talk about it so she's keeping her mouth shut. Howard said on the second episode of ''The Surreal Life'' Janice throws herself at a guy on the show and she was showing her ass to Jose Canseco. Janice said that's not true and she wasn't hitting on anyone. She denied doing a bunch of things that Howard claimed to have seen on the show. He told her that she might want to watch it to see what she does. Howard mentioned that Bronson Pinchot tried to grab her in one episode and she said that was true. Howard thought she was throwing herself at Jose Canseco but she said that wasn't the case. Howard heard that Janice forced the producers of the show to have two make-up people there for her on the show. The show is starting on July 10th. Howard gave her a plug for that and for her book ''Check Please'' which will be coming out soon. She's also appearing in ''Janice Stripped'' which is a live show she'll be doing.
Ralph called in and said he was surprised that Janice was getting upset about people being honest with her on the show when that's what she was doing on ''America's Next Top Model.'' Ralph said that Howard expected her to be interesting today and she was being a bore so that's why people were upset with her. Ralph said that it's kind of like Artie not drinking anymore and Artie said that it would be like Ralph not being a dick anymore. Another caller told Janice to stop with the Botox. Janice said she can't stop with that and she's also had a face lift. She said that Howard will eventually have to get a face lift too. The woman on the phone said that she should stop with the surgery because she looks kind of disturbing. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said she can't believe her today either. She said it's like she's lost her balls and asked her what happened to her. Howard said someone had to have talked to her and told her not to talk about all of this stuff. He wrapped up after that and gave her some plugs for ''The Surreal Life.'' Ralph said he won't be watching the show. Howard wrapped up after that and told Janice she's looking great. Howard tried to ask her a couple more questions about what kind of money she made as a model and she got upset with him about that. Robin said that it appears that Howard and Janice don't have any chemistry together. Howard went to break a short time after that.
Howard said that there are some movie theaters out there offering to give people their money back if they don't like ''Cinderella Man.'' Artie said he may go and take advantage of that if he doesn't like it. Howard thinks that it's actually an interesting marketing ploy. The movie hasn't done very well and they're losing a lot of money on it.
Howard read a story in the news about how Rupert Murdoch and Robert Craft went over to Russia for some reason and Robert showed Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring. Putin took the ring, put it in his pocket and walked away. He apparently thought that Craft was giving him the ring but that wasn't the case. Howard said that Putin won't be keeping the ring for himself, he'll be putting it on display in some junky display case. The ring doesn't mean anything over there but it's a big deal here in the States. Gary said that the NY Post says that Craft is claiming that he gave up the ring on purpose.
Ralph called in and asked if Janice Dickinson is really a super model because there are others who came before her. Fred said that is true and Janice would be considered a ''second tier'' super model. He said she's in Rachel Hunter territory. Fred was also saying that she's in Carol Alt territory and wasn't really a super model. Ralph said she's more like a hot chick who did some modeling.
Howard took a call from a woman who could barely speak and said that they may have found a date for Eric the Midget. He asked her a couple of questions and found out she's 38 years old. She sounded much older. She also told Howard that she had cancer of the throat. She took some tapes of the show to the hospital and everyone was laughing and now her throat is bad from that. Howard told her that he was going to hang up on her so she can rest her throat. She begged him not to hang up on her. She was looking for something but no one could figure out what it was. Howard hung up on her and said he can't put up with that stuff and bore people to death.
Howard replayed the old lady porn clip that he played earlier in the show. Richard Christy came in and told Howard there's another clip he might want to listen to. The clip where she's in her walker and the guy is trying to get her out of the walker that they said was pretty good. Howard played it a short time later. She was moaning and warning the guy that she was going to fall after she got out of the walker.
Heidi started to tell Howard about her new brothel that she's got coming soon but Howard brought up her relationship with Tom Sizemore. Heidi said that she said something bad about the movie he was in called ''Blackhawk Down'' when she was on Howard's show with him and he ended up beating her up over the comments she made. She claims that he hit her with a closed fist. She said she stayed with him for a while after that because he had some stuff on her that could send her back to jail. Howard said he had Tom Sizemore on the phone and asked Heidi if she would talk to him. She said she would os Howard put him on the air. Tom said he was looking for a job and would like to get a job at Dennis' Bunny Ranch. Tom said that he's not mad at Heidi, he's mad at Howard. Howard asked him why he hit her over the comments she made. Tom said that he never hit her and was acquitted of that charge. Heidi was telling Howard some stuff about what went on but someone said the S-word so the delay got hit. Heidi said that they had a nice relationship going until the beating. Tom said that if he hit anyone in the face with a closed fist, they wouldn't be able to walk out of the house. The two of them went back and forth on that story. Tom said that he can't stay mad at her over this stuff after she said that she has the worst taste in men. Tom claims that the bruises on Heidi's face came from plastic surgery.
Gary came in and said that he and Will were trying to find out what Tom was talking about with the vacated conviction. He said it appears that the charges could be dropped because the name of the photographer who took the pictures of her bruises couldn't be found. Heidi said that they actually found him guilty but he thinks that he can get off. Heidi claimed that Tom was caught using a prosthetic penis for his drug tests. Tom claims that he's off drugs now and he doesn't have to use a prosthetic penis to fake his drug tests. Howard asked him if it was true that he had a tattoo of Heidi's name above his penis. Heidi said that he showed it to Howard when they were on the show. Howard wrapped up after that and tried to get Tom off the phone but he kept bringing up this Tara Debreezy name. Ralph called in a short time later and said that Tara was his old girlfriend. She was the one who actually took the photos so she actually does exist.
Howard tried to get the interview under control because things were getting a little crazy. He asked Dennis if he's making love to Heidi Fleiss. Dennis said he just had sex with her a few years ago but Heidi said that wasn't true and she wouldn't wish herself on anyone. Gary came in and said that he saw the two of them all over each other in the green room earlier. Heidi said she and Dennis have a new brothel in the works in another county in Nevada and there are a lot of politics involved in it. That might be the reason she doesn't want to admit that she's with Dennis. She said that the county she works in won't allow advertising of the brothel and they'd be afraid that Dennis would come in and advertise it. Dennis said that he wishes her great success in this business. Heidi said that she has done a lot of research for this new brothel and it's going to be tough. She said it will be all about privacy out there. Howard wanted to know how the whole brothel thing will work and how he could keep his anonymity. Heidi said that she would fly him in, put him in his own bungalow and no one would see him there. She would send over about 4 women and he'd pick his favorite and that would be it. Howard wondered if President Clinton could go out there and keep it a secret. Heidi said that could happen no problem. She said that she's going to be having only the best chicks out there. She claims that she will have girls as hot as the models on Seventeen Magazine. Heidi said she doesn't think that prostitution should be a career. She explained how she would like girls to spend maybe six months in the field and use that as a stepping stone for other stuff.
Howard asked Dennis if he's in love with Heidi. He said he's coming very close to that point. Howard asked Heidi when the new brothel is going to open. She said that best case says 4 months and worst case is 18 months. Howard gave Dennis a plug for his show ''Cathouse'' which airs on HBO on Thursday nights. Dennis said that the show is getting great ratings. Heidi said that she's going to be hiring the best designers in the world to design her bungalows. Howard tried to find out how much it would cost to get into this brothel. Heidi said that about 15 grand could get you a few chicks for a weekend. Dennis said that sounds like a deal and he might take advantage of that himself. Howard asked her how much it would cost to have the girls killed after a weekend like that. That won't happen.
Howard gave Heidi a couple of plugs. He said she has a DVD out called ''Secrets of the Hollywood Madam.'' He also mentioned the web site SexSearch.com. Howard wondered if she could hook him up with a Hollywood actress if he wanted one. Dennis said that's what she's best at. Artie said that he might want to try to get Evangeline Lily from ''Lost.'' Heidi said that she could even get those little twins (the Olsen Twins) if he wanted them. Howard gave Dennis a plug for his web site, BunnyRanch.com and tried to wrap up the interview. Heidi said that her brothel is going to be called ''Heidi Fleiss' Paradise'' when it eventually opens.
Howard said that Ronnie the Limo Driver told him he had a problem with Doug's wife Marlo. Mike said that he heard that Ronnie has told Marlo that she needs to have something done to her that he couldn't say on the air. Ronnie said that his wife was the one who said that Marlo was rude to some people and ignored them. Ronnie was yelling at Mike Gange for saying that stuff and then Doug Goodstein called in and asked Ronnie what he was talking about. Ronnie said that he has talked to Marlo about the type of sex they were talking about and she told him she likes it but Doug won't give it to her. Doug said he was going to go back to the studio and beat the crap out of him. Mike said that he heard that Ronnie once told Marlo he'd give it to her if she wanted him to.
Marlo was on the phone a minute later and said she wasn't trying to be snotty to anyone at the party. She also didn't know about the ass sex they were talking about either. She said the sex she has with her husband is just fine. Ronnie said someone said something to her and she just turned and walked away. Marlo said she spoke to Ronnie's wife when she got to the party. He kept saying ''No you didn't!'' over and over again. Marlo said there were a lot of people there and she didn't have time to talk to everyone for a long time. She only spent a couple of minutes with Robin and Howard. Howard wanted to know more about the sex thing but Doug wanted him to change the subject. He doesn't want his private life on the air. Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks he saw Doug and Marlo out at dinner one night and she looked like a pain in the ass. Doug remembered the guy and asked him if he was the one with the ugly Asian chick. The guy confirmed it and Doug said that she looked like a man. Howard cut off that conversation before it got ugly.
Ralph called in and said that he's experienced the wrath of Marlo before and she can be pretty rough. He also asked what table he would have been sitting at if he was invited to the party. Fred said he's really not that friendly with Ralph. Ralph couldn't believe that Wayne Siegel was invited and he wasn't. Fred said he's friendly with Wayne and the other who were there. Ralph said he wasn't attacking Fred but he thought that he was closer to Fred. Fred told him he hears him on the phone for about 5 minutes a day while he works with a lot of the other people every day.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about the party. Scott the Engineer came in and talked a little bit about her experiences at the party. He said he had a great time there. Howard said he was surprised to see him there because he didn't think he'd be invited. He was wondering if he crashed the party or something. Howard was goofing on Artie about not showing up to the party. Robin said it's almost like he's grounded like a little kid. Artie said it did feel like he was in detention when he was talking to his shrink about the party and was told not to go. Scott DePace came in and explained why he didn't show up. Howard told him to go feel ashamed of himself for the rest of the day. He had Robin get back to her news after that.
Sal the Stockbroker came in a little later and said that Howard shouldn't be bragging because they measured Beetlejuice a couple of months ago and he was 3 inches flaccid. A couple of other callers were trying to ruin Howard's day by telling him he measured wrong but he stuck with the number. Howard told Artie to go measure himself in the bathroom. Artie said he thinks that he's pretty average. He took the measuring tape into the bathroom and came out a minute later with his measurement. He was at 2.8 inches. Howard told him he was above average so he should be proud. Artie always thought Howard was small so he was kind of bummed when he found that he's actually smaller than Howard Stern. Artie thought the whole thing was creepy and his entire world was shattered. Howard told Artie to just call him ''Lexington Stern.'' Robin wrapped up her news after that and they ended the show around 11:05am.
Howard started off the show talking about how busy the show was going to be today. He then said hello to everyone on the show, even Benjy. After that he said that Gary was trying to put together some Best Of Stern for when they go on vacation. They had a poll up on the web site to find out what people wanted to hear and one of the most requested bits is Scott the Engineer talking about taking it from a man to win $250,000 but Tom won't allow them to air any of that because of the content. Howard said he can't wait to get out of there because he's so stifled these days about what the can get on the air. His sense of humor tells him that it's funny and if he can't talk about that stuff on the air he doesn't want to be there. He said he can't wait to go to satellite and would like for them to let him go tomorrow. He said he's tired of thinking things through like he does these days. He just wants to make the move. Richard Christy came in and said that he remembers laughing so hard when that bit aired about 2 years ago. Howard said he can't believe that they can't play reruns of stuff that they just talked about 2 years ago. Robin said she has people come up to her and tell her that they don't laugh as hard listening to the show was much as they used to. Robin said people seem to think that they don't care anymore but they do. They just can't talk about a lot of stuff.
Gary was over at SIRIUS yesterday meeting with the guys about their new studio. Gary said they're going to be getting about 6 new TiVos that will have DVD burners built into them so JD can do his job. They're going to have real air conditioning so Howard and Robin will be able to control their own temperatures. Gary said that everything over there is an upgrade from what they have now. Howard said he really can't wait to go over there. He will have a 6 second delay on him but the only thing he'd be using it for is if someone says something that could be considered libelous. He said he doesn't have any reason to use it other than that. Gary said they told him that they can do just about anything they want over there so they'll have everything they need when they make their move. Howard was saying he feels like the black family that gets to move up to a nice neighborhood now that he's moving to satellite. That led to the guys talking about the theme songs for some old shows and making sound effects trying to imitate the songs.
Howard said that Fran Shea and Jarl Moan left E! and the show was left in other people's hands. Things got better in some ways and worse in others. He mentioned a couple of other names like Marta Tracey and John Rieber who helped out with the show over the years. His agent also got a mention because he had a lot to do with making things go smooth for him. Howard talked about the first E! show he did called the Howard Stern E! Interview. That lasted a short time and E! backed him up through all of that. Howard said there are a lot of people who are going to be missed. He's got a whole team of guys who are there helping out during their creative meetings each week and he wants them to come in and say a few words. He wanted them to have a few drinks this morning but their lawyers told them that wouldn't be a good idea so there won't be any drinking. Everyone is upset that the E! show is coming to an end but he's working to keep the whole team together but he won't know what's up with that for a couple of weeks.
Howard brought up Robin Radzinski who has been working on the show for a long time now and Howard said he really likes working with women. Radzinski came in and said she hasn't been emotional until now. She was kind of upset and said that it's a very sad day. She told Howard that she was working at E! in L.A. years ago and she was a big fan of the show. She and Scott Einziger were working together back then and Scott got the job first. She got her job about 3 weeks later and moved there to work on the show. She's been there ever since. Howard asked Robin to pick out a favorite moment on the show. She said she picked her most memorable moment on the show. That was when Flip Wilson was on the show and she pumped up his penis pump on the air. Radzinski said she actually came in and felt the pump which was in his scrotum. Howard said Flip was awesome as a guest and Robin pumping him up was quite a moment. He played a clip from that show where he had Radzinski come in and pump it up. Flip Wilson died not long after that appearance. Howard talked about how Robin used to walk out of the station after the show with a suitcase full of tapes and her day would just begin after the radio show. Radzinski thanked everyone at K-Rock for welcoming them in and working with them. Howard told her that they didn't welcome them in, it was actually quite a negotiation to get them in there. Radzinski said that they warmed up to them after that. She also thanked Robin, Fred, Artie and Benjy for their cooperation over the years. Howard told her not to bring Benjy up and let her go.
Art Fry is another guy who hasn't been on the air much. Howard said he's been working there 2 and a half years and they never say anything to each other. Howard said he thought the guy was just a temp. Art said his favorite moment on the show was when Vincent Gallo was on the show. Howard played a clip from Vincent's appearance on the show. Howard said that Art is a great guy and his wife just lost her job and now Art is losing his job. They just had a baby last year too. Howard thanked Art for all of his hard work and let him go.
The most emotional guy is Doug Goodstein according to Howard. He mentioned the piece that he wrote that they have up on his web site today. Doug said he was working for ABC news before he got this job. He was only 22 years old when he was at ABC. He had a bunch of internships before that. He said he was miserable over at ABC and no one was laughing. He said he was looking for a job in entertainment and sent resume's all over the place. He sent it to Scott Einziger who ended up hiring him. At the time the show was in development and he's been with them ever since. Doug said he couldn't leave his office yesterday until 8:30 last night because he was so bummed out. Gary said it was weird when Doug came into his office earlier and asked for an empty box. He was actually looking for a box for a gift for High Pitch Eric. Robin reminded everyone that Doug was the manager for Hank the Dwarf. Doug had a bunch of favorite moments from the show and one of them was when Scott the Engineer did his push-up challenge. Howard played some audio from that show where Scott freaked out when he heard that he didn't do all of his push-ups. Doug said nothing has changed and Scott is still mental. Howard said Scott didn't do the push-ups and brow beat them into paying him off. Artie said that was the first time he was ever on the show too. He was walking over to the show with Norm Macdonald that day when he heard that bit. Another moment for Doug was when Hank the Dwarf had a make over done for the show. Doug talked a bit about that show and how great it was. Hank passed out at the dentists office in mid sentence. Howard played audio of that moment where Hank just passed out and fell asleep as Doug was questioning him. Howard thought that clip was pretty funny. Doug said that he's had countless great moments on the show over the years. Howard said he doesn't really stop and hang out with people much and he wanted to say to Doug that he's worked so hard on the show. He said that he really does appreciate him and he's a terrific guy. He knows that he's bad at socializing and apologized for that. Doug told Howard he's the best and thanked him for the nice words. Howard had to take a break after that.
Jason said that they asked him to write a song and didn't tell him he had to do it. Howard wanted to take a vote and find out if anyone wanted him up there. He asked everyone what they thought. Jason, Robin and Gary all said ''no'' and that didn't go over very well with Jeff. Fred said ''yes'' because Jeff is always a car wreck. Howard also gave him a yes because now he's intrigued. Artie came in with a yes as well. Benjy was going to be the tie breaker and he gave him a yes as well. Howard said they'd only have him in if they have time later on.
Howard asked KC to explain why he left the show. KC said he was fired, he didn't leave. He said that he didn't want to leave. Howard said that he had many reasons for being fired. KC said that's true and he takes full responsibility for that. He apologized to Howard for having a mental breakdown and blowing the job. KC said he really appreciates what Howard did for him. Tom came in and said that he hopes that KC is in a good place. KC said he was glad to hear from Tom now... That led to Gary saying that he thinks that KC was kind of upset that he was fired over the phone. Tom said that he loves KC and no one bent over backwards more for him than Howard. There were some circumstances that were out of their control and Tom had to take action and did have to fire him over the phone. Howard said that Tom did go to his apartment at one point and KC said that wasn't necessary.
KC said that over the past few years he was an alcoholic and a drug addict and hid that the whole time. He said that he was able to hide it and he was on ''everything.'' Howard said they didn't think that was true because he was working out all the time. KC said that his demons beat him and he lost a great thing with that job. Gary said that there's one drug that he may have taken to get super high and that was Ridilin. KC said he took that. Artie said he never took that. KC said he never used heroin but he didn't want to get specific.
Artie brought up the intervention that he went to with KC. He said he thought that was pretty funny because he was a drinker himself. Artie said some of his friends called and told him that they were doing an intervention. They went over to KC's house and they waited for him to show up. Artie said he's been on both sides of an intervention and the strangest thing was that KC was coming home from the gym while they were waiting. He said that KC looks like the cover of GQ and he's telling KC that he's out of control. Howard told KC that Artie isn't drinking now but it sounded like he may not have known about it. Artie said that he saw KC last month and he was looking good.
KC said that he was pretty depressed when he was working there and wanted to blow his brains out every morning he woke up. Howard told KC that Tom was great with him. KC took full blame for everything and knows that they had to do what they did. Howard said they would go to KC and ask him to clean himself up so he could keep the job. They did it about 20 times and he only straightened out after he lost his job. Robin said that they kept saving him and thought that was actually keeping him from getting some help. Tom said that he would like to have some closure for this animosity toward him. KC said that he never heard from Tom when he was in rehab. Tom said that when he went out for the last rehab, he gave him a document that he signed that said he had to stay in perfect compliance to keep his job. Tom had to tell him that he couldn't come back after that failed. Tom said he tried to treat KC like a second son. KC said that he wished that Tom hadn't showed up to his apartment when he didn't show up to work one day. Tom and Gary said that they were worried about KC back then and that's why Tom went over to his apartment. Tom was going to walk out of the studio because he didn't want to make things worse. Tom apologized and said that he did everything he thought he could do. KC was still going off on Tom asking him if he checked with the lawyers before he said what he was saying.
KC said it seemed like they planned on talking about this stuff but Howard and Gary said that wasn't the case. KC said that Tom is supposed to be a religious man but he's apparently done some things that even make him uncomfortable. Gary told KC that if it was anyone else that KC was working for, he would have been fired earlier. Howard told KC that he should be angry at himself, not at Tom. KC was getting upset with Howard and the guys because they were trying to do this to him. KC said that he thought they were turning on him but Howard and Gary didn't think that was the case. Gary said that he told Howard that KC wanted to come on the show and promote his DVD so Howard said that KC is a good guy and he would let him come on. KC eventually apologized and said he misunderstood what they were trying to do. Howard told him he didn't want to make this an ugly thing. KC said that he went to rehab after Tom told him to clean up and a month later he tried calling Tom. He had nothing for him, then he called back another month later and Tom told him they wanted to go in another direction after telling him that he might have something for him. KC said that all came back up when Cabbie was in and Tom was backing him up saying that they were going to support him after he had some problems. Tom said he feels really bad about all of this but KC doesn't believe it. Tom wished KC luck and KC told him to ''drop dead.'' KC thinks that Tom is two faced and he doesn't want him coming in and telling him he cares about him.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Tom showed a lot of concern in all of this and showed more than a father would even show. Dominic also said that Tom called him to find out how KC was doing but KC thought that he was just trying to get some information so he could fire him. KC said that he misses everyone from the show and he knows that he did all of this stuff to himself. KC mentioned that he lost the $330,000 from GoldenPalace.com last year and how that must have showed how messed up he was. Robin said she talked to KC about how his job was in jeopardy and tried to help him. KC knows that they did and he was so far gone that he didn't listen. KC explained that he was upset with Tom because he thought that he was going to have a chance to come back if he stayed clean for a month. Howard said that Tom could have fired him about 5 times and he let him stay all of those times. KC said he didn't know corporate America and now he does. He also apologized to Tom for telling him to drop dead. He said he lost his temper.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this was great and they should bring him back. Zolar called in and told a story about KC. He said he was doing a comedy gig in Boston and they ended up going to Foxwoods casino the weekend before he got fired. Zolar said they got to the casino and KC was blowing $100 bills in the slot machines. He blew all of the money he made at the comedy gig in the slot machines. Gary came in and told a story about KC telling him he was going to go into rehab during a vacation. He said it was labor day weekend and he remembers getting a call from KC who told them that he went to a loony bin and wouldn't let him leave for work the week after.
Ralph called in and said he had a few quick questions. He asked what kind of drugs he was on. KC said he already answered that. All he would say was ''not heroin.'' KC didn't want to get into specifics. He also asked if the poker story was true and it was true. He won $330,000 and blew all of his winnings over the course of the next month. Gary and Artie both said they heard about it and couldn't believe that he won that much. Gary said he asked KC about why he didn't stop gambling when he was down to like $200,000. Ralph also asked if KC is getting help now because he still seems angry. KC said he is angry but he did get help. KC said he was sober for 4 months at one point. It sounds like he may have fallen off the wagon though. Ralph told KC that everyone in the studio would go off on Tom if he was doing something wrong and giving someone a month to clean up may not have been enough. KC said that he's back to drinking now and he's very happy now. He said he does drink but he's not doing drugs or gambling now. KC said that he doesn't like the monotony of life and if he has a couple of beers at a picnic or something, it's not a big deal. KC hasn't gained weight or anything and he's still at 190 and rock hard. Howard said that there are so many good things to look forward to in life. He said that reading a book or having kids is great. KC said he's not having kids.
KC said that once he got out to California he started smiling and he's so happy now that he's out there. He's still dating his girlfriend who has been with him for quite a while now. He said he tortured her for some of the video on the DVD. KC said he drove out to California and taped all of this stuff as he was going out there. The DVD is like a reality show of what happened to him after he went through rehab. Howard took another call from a guy who said that the drinking and drugs is a way to avoid dealing with other stuff going on in his life. KC said that he really loves everyone who was in the studio as he was talking to. He thanked Howard for everything he did for him. Howard took a call from Joey Boots who said that he thinks that he has to cut Tom some slack for what he did. Boots wanted to tell a story about what happened to KC the day that Tom went there. KC was cutting open his arms over an open bible the day that Tom went over there and had to have the door broken down by the cops. KC was laughing as he heard the story but Howard didn't think it was funny. Howard said it's not funny and he would have been really scared if he had seen that. Howard asked him if that's on the DVD. KC said he didn't get that on there. Joey said that he's his buddy and he's acting a little paranoid and all of this stuff was scaring him. KC said he's been a self mutilator for a long time now and that cutting was no big deal for him. Gary said that he doesn't have to stick up for Tom because he's leaving in a 6 months.
Richard Christy came in and said that he has to thank KC because without him, he probably wouldn't have the job. Howard said that KC would play his tapes and read his mail so he helped get Richard on the show. Howard told KC that he's a very funny guy and he misses him. He gave him a plug for his DVD. KC told them how much he misses them and wished them luck when they move over to SIRIUS. Howard let him go and talked about how he would never talk about that stuff on the air unless KC wanted to. Robin mentioned how Howard left his youngest daughter with KC one time and took very good care of her. Robin said that she told him that he'd make a great father some day but KC told her that would never happen. She had no idea how messed up he was. Ralph was back on the phone asking about what KC was talking about when he was mentioning that Tom was trying to protect himself. There was some confusion in all of that and Howard didn't want to get into it. He went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Steve if he still hangs out with Johnny Knoxville. He said he does so Howard asked him if Johnny had Jessica Simpson. Steve said Johnny doesn't brag about stuff like that so he wouldn't know. Howard talked about how Johnny is married but there are always stories in the paper about him dating women. Steve said that Johnny knows better than to tell him about any of that stuff so he doesn't know anything.
Howard gave Steve a plug for the shoe line he has called Sneaux. He then moved on to say that there were some other people there who wanted to say goodbye to the E! crew. High Pitch Eric came in late today so he wanted him to do it quickly. Howard let him say a few words but then said that he heard from a guy who says that Eric owes him some money. Eric said ''uh oh'' when he saw this guy walk in. This guy Dino came in to talk about how Eric had failed to pay a bill after he catered a party. Dino went on to explain how he had Reverend Bob Levy do a comedy show at his place (Ferrara's Cafe and Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club) and Eric did 10 minutes there. Eric was freaking out and apologizing like crazy so Dino couldn't get through his story. Dino eventually got back to the story and said that Eric asked him to cater a party for about 15 people. He said they got a ton of phone calls about the party and he put together this party for him and the bill was $650 and the check he wrote bounced. Dino tried to call Eric back and find out what was going on. Eric said it shouldn't have bounced but Dino later found out that the account had been closed for months. Howard told Eric that this is a crime. Howard told him that he should have the movie people pay him directly. Howard doesn't think that will happen. Gary said that Eric is a liar because he ripped off a limo driver and never paid the guy. Eric screwed him over for 2 years even after Howard gave him some money to help pay the bill. Gary went off on Eric and said that he uses Howard's name all the time to get this stuff and it's just wrong. Dino said that Eric told him he could get anyone from the show to appear at his club. Steve O complained that Eric was eating into his time on the show. Howard wasn't laughing at any of this. Dino told Eric that Levy isn't using Eric anymore because of this whole thing. Dino said that he respects Levy and took his word that Eric would be okay at this show. That didn't work out so now Levy won't be doing anymore shows with him. Eric kept apologizing over and over again but no one thought he was really sorry. Howard said he can't seem to stop this whole thing because Eric just keeps ripping people off. Gary told him that someone is eventually going to press charges and that's the only way he's going to learn. Eric swears that he's sorry this time but it wasn't happening. Howard also told him that he heard the tape of him bad mouthing him on the Kidd Chris show. Howard said he was going to give him a job at SIRIUS but now he's not going to. Eric walked out after that. Eric apologized to Dino as he ran out of the studio. Dino wanted to know when he was going to get his money but there was no answer.
Howard brought up how Pauly was dating Jillian Grace who they discovered and got into Playboy. Pauly said that she was always ''juice and moist'' which is unusual for the girls from the mid west according to him. Howard said that they predicted that Jillian would end up dating people like that when she got into the magazine. Pauly told the guys about how he hooked up with Jillian. He also said that she's living out there now and they're just friends right now. Jillian was on the phone so Howard put her on. He heard that Jillian fell in love with him and she wanted more from him and Pauly wouldn't give it to her. Pauly said Jillian wanted a relationship and he didn't think that would work so he didn't want to go there. Now they're just friends and they stay in touch. He asked Jillian how long it took before she started dating other guys. Jillian said that she did find someone else who she started to date after the Playboy Mardi Gras party. She said she's now dating 20 year old actor David Gallagher. Pauly said he was a little bit jealous but he's happy for her. He had fun with her while he was dating her though. Jillian said that she's exclusive with this new guy. Howard asked her a question that got the delay hit. Jillian said that David is more passionate than Pauly was. Artie asked her how many feet her ex-boyfriend has to stay from her. Jillian said that's something that was dropped a long time ago. She didn't seem too interested in talking about that. Pauly asked Jillian how it is living in the Bunny House across from the Playboy Mansion. She said it's great and Pauly explained what it's like. He said it's great and he saw it when he shot a scene for ''Entourage.'' Pauly was also telling Howard about some of the other places they have at the mansion where the girls stay. Jillian has been doing promotions for Playboy so that's why she gets to stay there. Jillian said that she's been getting offers for movies and stuff. Artie heard that and started laughing. Pauly was happy to find out who Jillian is dating. Artie asked Jillian if she's made love to any African American actors yet. She said that hasn't happened yet. She did meet Farrel though. Jillian said he was very nice but he didn't offer her any jobs or anything like that.
Pauly said that there's nothing wrong with this life that Jillian is living right now. He said that there are a lot of women who try to do the same thing. Pauly also said that Jillian's mother is pushing Jillian out of the trailer into all of this stuff. Jillian said that her mother is still living out in Missouri and she's very happy for her. Howard mentioned that he was on Jillian's web site JillianGrace.net and there's not much going on there. Jillian said they're working on more photos and stuff like that. Howard congratulated both Jillian and Pauly for their relationship. Pauly once again mentioned that Jillian was pretty juicy when he was with her. Howard let Jillian go after that and then spent a few more minutes talking to Pauly. Pauly told Howard that Jillian and her new boyfriend can go out and get ice cream on the boardwalk. He sid he already did that stuff when he was younger and doesn't want to do that anymore.
Pauly said that he gave Jillian a job on his TV show and he's also been dating some chicks on the show but he couldn't remember their names. Pauly said he wasn't having sex with them though. Howard wanted to know if he's got any famous women on the show. Pauly had to thank TBS for taking a chance on his show. The show is going to be airing Sundays on TBS starting July 17th. Howard read that Pauly goes to a sex therapist on the show and asked him if he's an addict. Pauly said he's wanted to go to one for a while but he doesn't think he's an addict. Pauly doesn't like long term relationships so it is a bit of an addiction. Howard wished him luck with his new TV show. Pauly and Howard spent some time talking about some of Pauly's movies. Howard ended up asking Pauly if he banged Tiffany Amber Theissen. Pauly changed subjects and didn't want to talk about it. Pauly was saying that he had a party recently where a bunch of girls were asking him about Howard. Artie told Howard how cool Pauly's mother's club The Comedy Store is. He said you get a good vibe when you're in there. Pauly talked about how cool it was growing up there because the comedians he got to meet were cool.
Pauly told Howard that he has Jessica Alba's number on his Blackberry. He was saying that he got drunk one time and tried to hook up with her but her boyfriend was there. Howard asked him if he's ever tried to get the Olsen Twins. He said he thinks he's a little too crazy for them. Pauly talked about Lindsay Lohan and how he went to a party she had. He said that she and her friends were eating a bunch of hamburgers at this party. He said that Christina Aguilera was at the party with her fiancee. Kirsten Dunst was there having a good time according to Pauly. He spent a couple of minutes talking about Christina and how cute she is. Howard wondered if he ever partied with Gwen Stefani. He hasn't but he had a friend who was friends with her. Howard wrapped up a short time later and gave Pauly some plugs. He went to commercial break a short time later.
A listener called in and told Howard his favorite moment from the show was when Jeff the Drunk had the ''blister'' burst in his underpants. Another guy told Howard that he got a SIRIUS boombox back in April and ended up signing up for the lifetime subscription recently. Howard told the guy that he's looking forward to that future move and he can't wait to get over there.
Howard had another E! member come in and give his favorite moment. This was Joe M. (I won't attempt to spell his name) who said his favorite moment on the show was Artie's make over show. Howard played a clip from that show where Artie was going off on the Queer Eye guys. Howard thanked Joe for his work on the show and then brought in Mike Braun who wanted to say a few words. Howard said Joe and Mike are guys he sees around but doesn't talk to much. Mike is a production assistant on the show. He said his favorite moment was the Beetlejuice Password show. Howard played some of that show where Beetlejuice had to try and guess a word after someone gave him key words. That was another great moment on the show.
Howard thanked Mike and then brought in Isaac Mark who has been there about 8 years. Howard said that Isaac was crying last night when he was editing his last show. He was kind of bummed out about the show and he's hopeful that there's something else in the future with Howard. Howard said he loves Isaac and he makes a lot of contributions to the show that people don't know about. Isaac told Howard that his favorite moments were from the Jeff the Drunk ''Stuck on You'' bit they did for the show. Howard had a clip where Jeff was handcuffed to this woman and ended up falling down in the middle of the street because he was so drunk. Isaac said that Jeff laid there for about a half hour. Isaac had a poem to read about the E! show. He quickly read through that and thanked Howard. Howard said that Sal came in and mooned him while he was reading the poem.
Greg Carmel was the next E! show guy to come in. He told Howard his favorite moments was Benjy at the Poetry Slam. He was the cameraman that day. Howard played some audio from that show and then let Greg go. Next up after that was Scott DePace who has been with the show for a long time. Scott said that this really sucks and it's been almost a third of his life working there. He talked about how he's been on the air a thousand times but this is the worst. Scott said that he hopes that the good times will continue with Howard and the crew. He said he'd like to come back on the show even if they don't have a TV show in the future. Scott's favorite moment was from the Las Vegas show where they had the Miss Buttaface contest. Howard played some audio from that show where a woman took off her bag and shocked everyone with her face. Scott said that everyone has done a great job on the show over the years. He mentioned a bunch of names and talked about how great they've all done. Scott also said goodbye to the ''Stern World.'' Howard said it would be nice if he got a job at a local deli and could deliver their meals for them.
Finally, Howard brought in Brian Phelan who he's had great fun with over the years. They had fun down in New Orleans years ago when they were throwing about $8,000 worth of beads at the chicks down there. Brian said there have been a lot of things on the show that he's enjoyed over the years. He mentioned something that got the delay hit as one moment he remembered being great. Artie said that Brian was one of the guys who saved his life out in Las Vegas when he was drunk. Brian's favorite moment was when they had a drinking show where people were throwing up on other people on the show. Howard played some of the audio from that moment and let Brian say a few more words. He talked about how great it's been working there and how much fun he's had working there. Howard let him go after that and said that it was really weird that it was coming to an end. Doug Goodstein came in and mentioned a few more names that they didn't mention earlier.
Robin said she didn't want to do her news today because of the E! show coming to an end. Gary told Howard that Jeff the Drunk was still in the green room and wouldn't leave. Doug asked if they could all squeeze Robin's breasts before they left. Robin said no to that and started laughing. Tom Chiusano came in and said that working with those people has been fabulous over the years. They all took each other in as family and he's going to miss having them around because they've been great to have there. Howard said it's all very strange because the radio show is ending later this year and the TV show will be gone after today. Howard thanked Tom for that and said that he thinks he's also upset that they're leaving. Howard asked Tom to please fire him now so he could leave with them.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and said some nice words about the E! crew. Another caller said he's going to miss the E! show as well. Another caller said that Mr. Methane's first appearance was his favorite moment on the show. Howard said that the E! show showed that they didn't fake anything they do on the show like people used to think before that show started airing. Gary said that he loved when they would show stuff going on out in the halls that didn't make it on the radio. Howard thanked Fran Shea and Jarl Mohn once again like he did earlier in the show. He said that his show helped put E! on the map and they've made a tone of money because of that. He said that they were actually the number 1, 2, 3 and 4 show on that channel. The credit for the show goes to all of the guys that were just in there.
Sal came in and told Howard that Ronnie was calling the cops on Jeff the Drunk because he refused to leave. Artie said that was his fault and he figured if he went out and paid him his $80, he'd leave. Artie ran out and gave him the money. Jeff was still sitting out there even after getting his money though. Howard said he always gets suckered into letting that guy up there. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that this happens every time. He's spilling beer all over the place and demanding his CD back even though it was sitting there on the chair. Howard told Ronnie to just leave him in the green room if he doesn't want to leave. Howard had the E! crew in the room and talked to him about not leaving. He told him to leave now but Jeff thought it was B.S. and kept using the S-word. Artie told Howard to look at how old he looks today. Jeff told him that he looks old too. Howard asked Jeff to go home already. He was spilling beer all over the floor and refusing to get up to leave. Then someone was taping him to the door. You could hear the tape coming off a roll as people were laughing in the background. Howard asked him if he could burst out of that. Jeff cursed one last time so Howard cut him off and ended the show. It was about 10:35am.
