Howard said he meant to watch ''60 Minutes'' last night to see this guy John Nash whose life was the basis for the movie ''A Beautiful Mind.'' He said he was watching the horrible movie ''O'' on DVD and he forgot about ''60 Minutes.'' Gary and Stuttering John came in to discuss what happened during that part of the show. Nash was on to deny rumors that he's antisemitic and bi-sexual. Gary said that the surprise was when they brought out Nash's son and he turned out to be even crazier than his father.
Artie said he lost a bunch of money betting on Howard's alma matter Boston University. He said he bet ''a dime'' on B.U. and lost. He said he's up on some of the other games though. Howard then told Artie that B.U.'s athletic department isn't all that good.
Howard talked about his weekend for a little while. He said on Friday he got his third cast put on his broken thumb. Last week he had one cast that was too tight and one that was too loose. Then he got the third one and he thought it was too tight around his wrist. He said he almost called the doctor to complain about the third one but he changed his mind. Howard said he knows that it's all in his mind so he decided not to make the call. That led to everyone discussing how Howard is a control freak. Howard mentioned that he spoke to Ozzy Osbourne over the weekend. Ozzy apparently has psychological problems so bad that the shrinks won't even try to talk to him about them, they just give him prescription drugs to help him out.
Howard said he went to dinner with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. They thanked him for coming up with the idea for their TV show ''The Osbournes'' which is on MTV. Stuttering John and his wife were also there. Ozzy showed up late and thought that he'd been in the limo for 2 hours but it was only 45 minutes according to Sharon.
Howard said that Ozzy has some kind of problem where he has to go to the bathroom constantly. Howard said he went about 11 times in 7 minutes. Howard explained that at the restaurant they were at they have white noise going in the bathroom. They do that so people don't hear what other people are doing in the bathroom. Howard said Ozzy came back from the bathroom one time and asked Sharon what ocean they were near. Howard said Ozzy thought that he was hearing the ocean while he was in the bathroom. He said he tried to look out the window in the bathroom to see where the ocean was. It was just the white noise though. Howard said Ozzy made him laugh quite a bit at dinner.
Ozzy offered to pay the bill for dinner but when Sharon got up to go pay the waitress she told her that Howard wouldn't hear of it. For some reason she wouldn't let Sharon pay the bill even though Howard never told her to do that. Howard said it was his worst nightmare. Someone finally decided to pay the bill for him and the people at the restaurant decided to deny it. Howard said he thinks it was the owner, Richie, who wouldn't take it. He said he doesn't mind paying but it pissed him off anyway.
Howard and Stuttering John also went to see Fred's band play at some place in the city. One of the DJs on his radio station was opening up for Fred's band so Howard wanted to see that. Howard missed it though. Fred didn't even know Howard was there even though there were only ''seven people there'' according to Howard.
Howard said he watched a preview of the new Andy Richter show ''Andy Richter Controls the Universe'' over the weekend. He said he doesn't even know how Andy got the sidekick thing with Conan O'Brian. Howard said he couldn't watch the whole show, he made it through about 10 minutes and that was all he could take. He said he hated to say that because he was on the show last week. Howard thought that the show aired already and that's why he gave his review. When he found out it hadn't aired yet he tried to take back what he said so people might watch it.
Gary came in and talked a little bit about an appearance he made at Yonkers Avenue Dodge over the weekend. He said that this Dodge dealer is amazing. They've got a 60 seat movie theater, a 50's diner and child care available for their customers. Gary spent a few minutes talking about what the place was like and how cool the owner of the place was. Gary said the diner is nicer than a real diner but he didn't eat in there. Howard said he heard that only about 7 people showed up to see Gary though. One guy asked to take close-up pictures of Gary's ''big choppers'' and zoomed in on them with his telephoto lens.
After taking a break Howard played a new Touch Tone Terrorists call from their new album ''Customer Service Crackpots'' that's available now.
Howard spent some time talking about the new president of his radio station's company. This guy Farid just left the company to go work for another one and a new guy is taking his place. Howard said that the guy used to work at VH-1 and now he's going to be Howard's boss. Howard talked about how he used to goof on Farid. The company held a going away party for Farid over the weekend but they didn't invite Howard until an hour and a half before the party started. Howard couldn't make it because he had plans with his daughter. Robin said she got the same call around the same time and she couldn't make it either.
Howard's General Manager Tom Chiusano didn't get any promotions in all of this shuffling around so Howard goofed on him about that for a minute. Howard said Tom has also said that he's going to retire when Howard retires from radio in about 4 years. Howard said one of the main reasons he wants to retire is because of Tom and how he runs things around his show. Howard wonders why Tom doesn't just retire now so he can continue to do his radio show. He told Robin that in 4 years he's going to retire. A couple of months later, after Tom has retired, he's going to go to her and tell her that they're going back on the radio because Tom is finally gone.
Howard spent a short time reading about the Liza Minelli wedding and the strange things that went on with Elizabeth Taylor. Former intern Gay Rich called in because he somehow got to go to the wedding. He shared some of his stories with Howard.
Howard took a call that came through as a wrong number. The woman was calling from a collection service and was looking for someone else. Howard pretended to be the guy and spent a few minutes goofing on the woman. He told her that he wasn't going to pay his bill because he was robbed and no longer had the stuff he bought. He even tried to get her to just type in ''Paid'' on the computer to help him out. She wouldn't help and eventually put him on hold to get her manager. Howard had to hang up so he wouldn't have to deal with that. Howard said that the same company has called the station a few times looking for different people. Howard thinks that some of his fans must have given his number to credit card companies.
Howard said that he thinks John is going to get killed if he fights Cabbie. Gary and Howard both think that John is going to fight and never give up, even if Cabbie is beating him. They think that John will just keep going until he dies.
Howard moved on to talk about some different stories he's been reading and TV shows he's watched. He watched the Rosie O'Donnell ''coming out'' show. He said it was boring to him. He said it was just ''too much'' for him to take.
Howard also read an article that claims that Hollywood stars who want to fit into their Oscar outfits go to get colonics to clean out their insides before going to the awards show. Howard said that a woman in the article claims that they flushed out a pink Barbie shoe that a friend of hers had swallowed when she was 4 years old. Howard said he doesn't believe that stuff like that stays in you that long. Robin has had colonics in her life and she said the most she saw coming out of her colon was some shreds of carrot.
Howard had a short discussion about his new boss John Sykes with Vinnie Favale. Vinnie was saying nothing but nice things about him. Howard seems to think that the guy is going to mess with his show and he doesn't want that to happen. A short time later this retarded woman Wendy called in. She's called in a couple times in recent months. Howard then got the idea to ask her to help him out just in case this Sykes guy messes with his show. He asked Wendy if she'd be willing to testify that Sykes raped her. She said yes so Howard tested her out. He did a quick fake trial where the lawyers asked her what happened to her. She came up with some of her own ideas and said that Sykes raped her. Howard also tried to have her say that Sykes poked her with a stick. When he asked her about that she changed it to a fork instead of a stick. Then Howard had her say that Sykes burned her breasts with a hot poker. He asked her what she'd say about that and, once again, she changed the poker to a hot fork. Howard put the warning out over the air to Sykes and said that he'd better not mess with him because he's got Wendy to make his life miserable. As Howard was ending the fun with Wendy she told him she had a song to sing. She then performed the ''Barbie'' song for him and Howard sang along with her a little bit.
Oh no! Howard's sunglasses are bent! He was complaining that they weren't fitting on his face the right way so he took them off and saw that they were crooked. He said he's been carrying his stuff in a messenger bag when he comes to work and that's where the new sunglasses got bent. He said he doesn't want to give out the brand of his sunglasses that everyone likes because he doesn't want everyone wearing them.
Howard was talking about what he's supposed to put in all of the compartments in the new bag he has. Robin said something about putting his stash of weed in one compartment. Howard then said that he's never doing weed again because he had a bad experience while he was on his last vacation out of the country. He took 3 hits off a local's joint and he completely freaked out. As he was talking about this Dominic Barbara called in and said no one else had a reaction to it. Howard didn't think anyone else that was there would want to be mentioned in the discussion. Dominic told Howard that it's legal on the island they were on so he was willing to talk about it. Then it came out that Dominic bought the weed from a local. Dominic kept saying that none of the 6 other people on the trip had a reaction like Howard did. Howard kept trying to get him to stop talking about the others though. Dominic also described how Howard was freaking out after smoking this stuff. Howard ended up talking about how weird Dominic was on vacation. He told a couple of stories about how obsessed Dominic is with him.
This woman called in saying that she'd met with Howard at some point and Howard had given her his phone number or something like that. Howard knew she was mental as soon as he heard that. He muted his voice from her for a short time and listened to her ramble. Then Wendy the Retard called in. Howard hooked her up with this other woman and told the other woman Wendy was his secretary. The two of them had a short conversation where the other woman asked for Howard's phone number. Wendy played along and said she didn't have the number. Howard had them talk to each other for a few minutes before he just got rid of the other woman. Howard then spoke to Wendy for a couple of minutes. She sang another Britney Spears song like she did yesterday. While she was singing that Howard said he wants to fly her in to sing at the Stuttering John vs. Crazy Cabbie fight. He said he'd like to have her and Gary the Retard sing ''I've Got You Babe'' together at the event. She said she'd do it too.
Howard took a break and then replayed Wendy's phone call from yesterday where he had her falsely testifying that the new head of Infinity radio, John Sykes, raped her. He did this just to warn Sykes not to mess with his show.
Later in the show Wendy called back and sang more songs for Howard. Howard took some phone calls and some people seem to think Howard has found another gold mine. High Pitch Erik called in and said she sounds hot to him but Howard's not letting him back on the show until he spins ''The Wheel of Fish'' that he bailed out on recently.
Chaunce Hayden from ''Steppin' Out'' magazine called in and said he saw a preview of it also. He said the show has it's moments but he doesn't think that people are going to want to tune in to see a chubby guy each week. Howard took a few other calls and some people said they will tune in just because Howard said it was so bad. Other people said they are fans of Andy's and they think the previews they've seen are hilarious. Others said they won't watch if after seeing those previews.
Andy pointed out that Howard doesn't like a lot of shows that are big hits. He doesn't like ''The Simpsons'' for one and that's pretty big. He also doesn't like ''Everybody Loves Raymond'' which is a huge hit on CBS. Howard said he likes shows like ''Smallville'', ''Angel'', ''Enterprise'' and ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' among others.
Artie was going through the paper while Howard was talking to Andy and he found another 3.5 star review of the show. Howard made sure he plugged the show and how it's on tonight at 8:30pm on FOX.
Howard tried to move on and talk to her about screwing up her Scores interview but she just kept laughing. Howard said he was going to wait until she stopped laughing to talk to her. She just kept going though. Howard said he'd rather her cry than laugh all the time.
He finally got to the Scores discussion and asked her why she screwed it up. She said she was caught in the moment and she was embarrassed. Howard said Lonnie (from Scores) was actually scared of her when he interviewed her.
Howard and Gary tried to get serious with her but she just kept laughing. Gary said he tried to have a conversation with her in the green room with no camera and she still couldn't talk to him. She just laughed at everything he said. Howard spent a few more minutes with her trying to help her out but she didn't seem to listen to what he said. Howard said he was seriously trying to help her out but she blew it with the Scores thing. She kept saying that she wants a job on his show but he doesn't have anything for her there. She says that she will be an actress some day. Howard tried to get her to act out a scene but she couldn't do that either. Howard eventually got tired of the whole thing and ended it so he could check out some breasts.
Another caller asked if he could get a spin for the upcoming ''The Weakest Dink'' game. Howard gave it to the guy and spun the wheel. The caller got Gary who will play for him when they play the game in the coming weeks. If Gary wins ''The Weakest Dink'' today's caller will win a Dodge Durango courtesy of Yonkers Ave. Dodge.
Howard played a song parody that a fan wrote about his broken thumb after talking about the guy who broke it for him. Howard said football player Marco Battaglia was just signed to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers so he's off to training camp soon. Howard said he was thinking of breaking Marco's foot right before training camp. Howard said he's still working out even though he's got the broken thumb.
Howard said he's been getting a lot of e-mail lately and everyone loves Wendy the Retard who has been calling in lately. Howard had her on the phone to let her know how much everyone loves her. Then she told him that she can't make it to the Cabbie vs. Stuttering John fight... Howard had to tell her that they haven't set a date yet so she might still be able to make it. Wendy said she's out of wack this morning. Howard then read some of the e-mail he got about Wendy and some people think she's funnier than Jackie and Artie. Wendy gave shout-outs to about 20 people for some reason. Howard just ignored it and tried to get Wendy to practice singing ''I've Got You Babe'' so she and Gary the Retard can do it at the fight. Every time she calls in she sings karaoke to a song and it's usually a Britney Spears song. This morning she sang something a little harder. She attempted to sing to Drowning Pool's ''Bodies.'' Howard ended up cutting her off about 30 seconds in though.
Howard read another e-mail from someone complaining about how lame Benjy's phony phone call was. (so lame I left it out of yesterday's highlights) Howard replayed part of that lame phony phone call where Benjy pretends to cry on some kind of help line. Then he played a track off the Touch Tone Terrorists prank call CD ''Customer Service Crackpots'' to show him how to do it the right way.
Howard said he finally got to see this show ''The Glutton Bowl'' that FOX ran a few weeks ago. He said it was great. He talked about what the people ate and how they just shoved the food in.
Howard also talked about this new show ''Baby Bob'' that just aired the other night. Howard said it's really funny but it's really bad. He said you just wait to see the baby talk not caring about anything else. He said the baby talking is the best part of the show. He said it's like ''Mr Ed.''
The girls were also in to tell Howard how thrilled they are that Burger King now has a veggie burger available. They spent a short time talking about that and how healthy it is compared to a hamburger. The girls all said they try not to kill any living thing if it's possible. One of them said she wouldn't swat a mosquito if it was biting her. She said she'd blow it off. Some of the web sites they got plugs in for included PETA.org, LettuceLadies.com and GoVeg.com.
After the girls left Howard took a break. When he came back he asked Artie what he thought of the veggie burger. He said it wasn't that good. He said it was disappointing to bite into something that looks like a Burger King burger and have it taste like it tasted. Howard said he might like it because he doesn't eat red meat anymore. Howard said that it was Benjy who came up with the idea to threaten to kill stuff to get them to do things. Howard and Robin wonder what he's up to at his home.
Howard said when the PETA chicks were leaving they said they wanted to call an animal rescue guy to pick up the fish they had because they didn't want it killed. Artie told Howard they should see what they can get the animal rescue guy to do when he shows up. He suggested they try to get him to do some gay stuff.
Since they were talking about animals Gary said he heard that Robin has cat problems. First of all she has 7 cats in her home. She brought together her ''city cats'' and her ''country cats'' in her house and they don't get along. She said that she's had to go to the vet a few times because the injuries have been so bad. One cat had a broken leg and others have had bites get infected. Howard also asked her about her horses and if she still has them. She still owns Blaze but that's it. She keeps it out in New Jersey and hasn't ridden him in years.
Howard changed subjects and moved on to talk about Catholic priests and how child molestation is covered up in the churches. He didn't spend long on the subject since he's talked about it every day this week.
Howard brought up a bunch of other news stories he'd seen this morning also. Robin said she saw ''Entertainment Tonight'' last night and they reported on how race car driver Jeff Gordon and his wife are getting divorced. She said the wife is asking for a bunch of stuff including some of their cars and use of their boats. Howard said Gordon should challenge his wife to a race for all of the stuff she's demanding.
Debbie Schlussel from WorldNetDaily.com and TownHall.com called in to let Howard know that she's going to be on ''Politically Incorrect'' tonight. Debbie got to talk to Howard for a minute before he accidentally hung up on her.
Stuttering John came in and asked Lynda if Jennifer ever talks about her big ass. He wondered if she's ever hear Jennifer saying that she needs to lose some weight from that thing. Lynda said she's never heard anything like that from her.
The guys at the station all say that Booker is a big name dropper and he tells people that Lynda is Jennifer's sister as soon as he meets them. Mike Gange from E! came in and said that the big joke with Booker is to ask him if he's dropped something when they see him because he's always name dropping.
Howard shared some of his Booker stories with everyone. He said Booker has called him when he's been out with Jennifer and bragged about it. Lynda doesn't believe that but Howard said it's true. He said Booker will deny it but it's definitely true. During all of this Artie was doing a Mexican impression that was supposed to be Lynda and Jennifer's father. Lynda told Artie that her family is Puerto Rican, not Mexican but that seemed to just egg him on even more.
Howard talked to Lynda about her life before Booker for a short time and then gave her some plugs for this thing she's doing for the WB network. She will be hosting ''Live at the Academy Awards'' on the WB network Sunday, March 24.
Howard asked Lynda if she and Booker have ever videotaped their sexual encounters. She said they haven't but Howard said he's thinking of doing that with his girlfriend Beth. He said he saw this web site where this guy tapes women who come over to his house for a calendar interview. He said the guy holds the camera the whole time while he seduces the women and has them do him right there. He said that's the way to do it. He wanted to give the guys site a plug but he never gave out the name of the site. (I was later told it's NetVideoGirls.com)
After taking a break Howard took a call from Booker. He said what he heard was very uncomfortable for him to hear on the air. Howard spent a short time talking to him about the weird relationship Booker has with Linda. He also talked about how when he goes out with Booker he thinks it's going to be something cool but it always turns out to be nothing great.
Another caller asked to get a spin of ''The Weakest Dink'' wheel after complimenting Howard's girlfriend. That seems to be the way to get on the show to get a spin. Howard gave the guy a spin and he landed on Stuttering John. For those who don't know, one listener a day gets a spin of the wheel. The wheel lands on people who are on the show and that person will play for that caller when they play ''The Weakest Dink'' sometime in the near future. They're playing for a 2002 Dodge Durango courtesy of Yonkers Ave. Dodge.
Howard mentioned reading an article in the NY Post today about a woman who befriended a priest after getting a divorce. The priest ends up molesting her kids without her knowledge and for 2 years screwed with her kids. Her daughter eventually confided in a psychiatrist and her step-mother and they caught the guy. The mother now can't believe she was so naive about the whole thing. Howard and Robin discussed the story and then Howard compared the Catholic church with the Taliban. He said that in the Catholic church women are treated like second class people just like the Taliban. He said the habit is the same as a burqua in Afghanistan which covers up women. Howard went on to talk about how disturbing this priest was in the paper. He also said that if he were running things in this world, a lot of people would die.
This woman Cheryl called in to talk about her Osama bin Laden tattoo that she got near her private parts. She told Howard she did it for her boyfriend who is in the military. Howard didn't get it at first but she explained that it was like her boyfriend is raping Osama down there. She said Osama's face is around her private parts and her hair is his beard. Howard said he'd like to see this tattoo so they might fly her in to do the show. Howard said he'd get a little nervous if he went to bang some chick with Osama down there. He said he might throw a grenade in there if he saw that.
After that discussion Gary came in with a list of 64 hot women that were paired up. Howard and the crew each picked their favorites to slim down the list to 32 women. That list was then slimmed down to 16, 8, 4 and then the final 2. Howard said he was thinking very clearly this morning and had answers right away. He was able to slim down the list pretty quickly. Pamela Anderson used to be Howard's favorite until this latest story came out. Howard blew her out of the competition in the first round. She lost out to Estella Warren who was in ''Planet of the Apes.'' Rebecca Romijn-Stamos stayed in the competition a lot longer than the other guys thought she should. Howard has seen her naked in his apartment so that might have something to do with it.
Howard brought it down to the final 8 which included the following:
Howard took a call from a woman who thought Howard was making fun of people with Hepatitis C but he really wasn't. This contest was just to pick the woman he'd like to bang most. Once he heard about the Hepatitis C he decided that Pamela Anderson isn't someone he'd bang anymore.
Wendy the Retard went on to sing some karaoke for Howard before he ended the fun. He asked the two of them a few more questions and then Wendy rambled off her ''shout-outs'' to all of her radio friends. She had so many to ramble off that Howard went to commercial break in the middle of it without telling her.
Andrea does have a web site but Howard wouldn't give it out because they have a picture of him there that he doesn't like. He told her to get it cleaned up and then he'd plug it for her.
Howard went on to talk about his dinner out with Ozzy last weekend. He spoke about it on Monday and went over the same stuff again this morning... Here's what I wrote on Monday: Howard said that Ozzy has some kind of problem where he has to go to the bathroom constantly. Howard said he went about 11 times in 7 minutes. Howard explained that at the restaurant they were at they have white noise going in the bathroom. They do that so people don't hear what other people are doing in the bathroom. Howard said Ozzy came back from the bathroom one time and asked Sharon what ocean they were near. Howard said Ozzy thought that he was hearing the ocean while he was in the bathroom. He said he tried to look out the window in the bathroom to see where the ocean was. It was just the white noise though. Howard said Ozzy made him laugh quite a bit at dinner.
Ozzy offered to pay the bill for dinner but when Sharon got up to go pay the waitress she told her that Howard wouldn't hear of it. For some reason she wouldn't let Sharon pay the bill even though Howard never told her to do that. Howard said it was his worst nightmare. Someone finally decided to pay the bill for him and the people at the restaurant decided to deny it. Howard said he thinks it was the owner, Richie, who wouldn't take it. He said he doesn't mind paying but it pissed him off anyway.
Howard spoke to the kids and asked them if their lives have changed since the TV show took off. They don't think they've changed that much but more people have tried to become their friends.
Howard said that the show is very revealing because they catch so much on video. He talked about seeing Ozzy doing his Leno appearance and how Sharon dresses him when they go out. Sharon said that Ozzy doesn't have very good dress sense. She said he once dressed himself when he came to pick her up at the hairdresser one day. He was wearing one of Sharon's nighties that he'd just pulled out of the closet. The hairdresser said he looked like Boy George that day.
Ozzy said that he has to wear black because stuff would get spilled on anything lighter. He used a white suit as an example and his son Jack made a smart assed comment about a white suit being like a drug dealer suit. Ozzy then said ''Listen dickhead...'' and argued with him a little bit about being such a smart ass. Jack said that he was quitting being Ozzy's son but Ozzy told him that he can't do that.
Ozzy's daughter Kelli told Howard about how she caught her parents having sex one time and it has scarred her for life. She said she walked in to say goodbye one morning and caught them. She said they told her they were just hugging though.
Howard spent a little time talking to the Osbourne's about their money and how Ozzy doesn't handle the money. Sharon takes care of all of that and he gets upset when they spend a lot of money on useless stuff.
The family also asked Howard about what a 5.0 rating means since they don't really understand that stuff. Howard told them that a 5.0 on cable TV is huge. He said when a show on cable gets close to a 1.0 it's a hit so a 5.0 is huge.
While talking to Jack about what he's been up to the fact that he smokes pot came up. His parents have caught him doing it but they really haven't done all that much about it. He says that he's not addicted and he can quit at any time. Howard asked Ozzy and Sharon if they have a problem with that. They said they don't like him doing it. Ozzy then said he'd rather have his son smoking pot rather than cigarettes. He said that cigarettes were the most addictive thing he ever put in his body. Howard went on to say that if he ever caught his kids smoking pot he'd have a big problem. He said he'd cut them off financially if he were Ozzy.
Ozzy said that he's not sure if they're going to do another season of ''The Osbournes'' (which airs Tuesday nights at 10:30pm on MTV) but it's possible. Howard thinks that they should as for a lot of money to do another season because the show is so big.
You can find out about the Ozzfest 2002 tour and other stuff about Ozzy at Ozzy.com. They're making a big announcement about the Ozzfest tour at the WWF restaurant in New York City today.
Donald Trump called in to talk about the Crazy Cabbie vs. Stuttering John. Howard said he let Tom Chiusano take care of the deal with Trump who offered to have the fight down in Atlantic City at the Taj Mahal. He said he got the proposal and said it would probably be cheaper to have Tyson fight there. Tom is apparently looking for around $500,000 to let them have the fight at the Taj Mahal. Howard said he knew Tom was going to ruin things with his relationship with Donald. Trump said he would put up the $100,000 for Stuttering John though. Howard and Donald got off the subject for a minute when Donald mentioned how tragic the Pamela Anderson thing was. They spoke about that for a couple of minutes and then got back to the fight.
Donald thinks it would be great to hold it at the Taj Mahal but the proposal is crazy. John said he spoke to Donald off the air and he saw that Tom is nuts with this proposal. He was being nicer on the air. Howard said he might just have to hold the fight right there in the studio instead of taking it somewhere else. Howard said he'll talk to Tom about the whole thing and try to get things straightened out.
Howard spent a couple more minutes with Donald talking to him about his girlfriend who he's been with for quite some time now. Donald said he's had a great relationship with Melania and he's sticking with her.
A woman called in and brought up ''The Osbournes'' TV show and asked Howard how he let MTV take that idea from him. Howard got into a discussion about how dumb it was to let someone else take the idea. Gary came in and said how great the show is. Howard didn't want to hear that though because he thinks it was his idea.
Robin thanked Howard for recommending a restaurant called Craft. She went there last night and loved it. Howard and Robin then talked about the restaurant and how they serve their meals. Howard said he brought his sister there because they serve a lot of vegetarian stuff and his sister has become an ''annoying vegetarian.'' That led to Howard and Gary talking about how bad this new Burger King veggie-burger is. Gary said he took one bite the other day and had to spit it out.
Jessica Hahn called in quickly to talk to Howard about the Ozzy thing. She ended up asking Robin if she's had surgery lately because she looks so good on TV. Robin said she hasn't had anything done but even Howard said he thinks she has.
Melrose Larry Green called in with a bunch of audio clips to play. He rattled off what he had but Howard passed on most of it. He ended up talking about Pamela Anderson and her announcement that she has Hepatitis C. Howard said he feels really bad for her. Melrose ended up playing tape of a report about Pam's man Kid Rock who was talking about the controversy on some news program out in California.
After telling their stories Howard listened to this guy's story. The guy said that he loaned his brother a total of over $20,000 over the course of a couple of years and he never paid him back. To make things worse the guy's brother ended up stealing his hot girlfriend. He said he caught the two of them together making out in a car outside of a restaurant. He said his ex-girlfriend is now living with his brother and he hasn't spoken to either of them since he caught them.
Howard took a few other phone calls from other people who have also been screwed over by their families. The guy who called in with the first story asked Howard if he could play a game or something to win some of his money back. Howard said that he can call back on Monday to play for the Durango that they've got.
Another question he seems to get is about Alyssa Milano. Mr. Skin said the best nude scenes for Alyssa are in either ''Embrace of the Vampires'' or ''Poison Ivy 2.'' Artie asked about Jennifer Aniston and he said in the movie ''The Object of My Affection'' she throws something and her skirt comes up at one point and you can see up it. He said he went frame by frame and you can see that she wasn't wearing panties that day. If you have a question about a celebrity you want to see nude, check out MrSkin.com
She told Howard that she was eaten alive by the ''no-nos'' which were tiny bugs that bit. In the last episode Howard said she just sat on the side while some other people in her tribe tried to find some shrimp. Sarah said she sat there and scratched her legs because they itched so bad. Howard told her if she did some work she might have forgotten about the itching. She said there was no forgetting that though.
Howard asked her about sleeping with one of the other tribe members on the show. She said they didn't have sex, she just slept next to the guy to stay warm. Gary said she might be keeping that stuff quiet because her boyfriend was sitting out in the green room.
Howard found out that Sarah's breasts aren't real, they're implants. She admitted it right away and said that no one her size would have breasts that large. Howard also asked her about shaving her private parts. Sarah said she waxed that area before she went on the trip.
Artie asked her if she'd show them her breasts but she refused. She didn't want to show her ass either. She said she'd be willing to do ''Playboy'' for the right amount of money. John got her to show her legs to see if they've healed from the bug bites.
Howard saw Gary leering at Sarah at one point and said that's a marriage thing. He said he's seen a lot of married guys give that same look.
KC came in and asked Sarah if she'd show her ass for $2000. She wasn't having any part of that though.
Sarah defended her laziness on the show saying that she had 3 jobs before she went on the show. She was working 65 hours a week making good money as a photographer and a cocktail server.
Howard described what she was wearing for a guy who called in. He said she was wearing a belly shirt and open toe shoes that showed off her nice feet. Artie said she was wearing ''too much'' though.
Mike Walker called in and said that they have pictures in the Globe of Sarah and they have a nice ass shot. Mike also said one of his female co-workers had a problem with Sarah on the show and told him she wanted her off the first week.
Howard had Sarah play the Mike Walker Gossip Game... Here's how it goes: Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Mike about some of the stuff that will be in the Enquirer. Mike said the real story behind the Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake break up was a pregnancy scare. Apparently the two of them have been having tons of sex, even though Britney still claims to be a virgin, and Justin freaked out when he found out Britney might be pregnant.
Howard also asked Mike if he had more info on the Pamela Anderson story. Mike said they have some information but they're not talking about it yet. They spent a couple of minutes talking about what a tragedy it is for Pamela and how Kid Rock probably won't be sticking with Pam too much longer. Howard then decided to take predictions on how long it'll be before Kid Rock leaves her. Mike gives the relationship 6 weeks. Howard said he gives it 4 weeks. Robin said 2 to 3 weeks but then changed her mind and gave them 6 months. Artie said he gives them 2 weeks. Howard said the real story is that he'll probably leave her at 5:30 tonight.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and compared Carrot Top to Jay Leno. For some reason he was bad mouthing Jay for the way he does his comedy. It was an obvious ''company man'' move that Vinnie seems to be very good at. He's done it with Joe Rogan from ''Fear Factor'' in the past and now he's doing it to Jay Leno.
