Howard also brought up how Eminem's movie ''8 Mile'' made $54 million over the weekend. He was surprised to read that. Robin said she saw it on Friday afternoon and it's good in the same way ''Purple Rain'' was good. She said Eminem was actually a good actor and sounded surprised that she was saying that.
Howard spent a short time talking about buddy movies featuring a black guy and a white guy paling around. He also mentioned black guys and Chinese guy buddy movies and how unrealistic they are.
Howard still couldn't get over the fact that Eminem's movie did so well. He said they're calling him the new Elvis. Howard said Elvis stole from the black man but Eminem is a black guy. Robin said that Eminem is almost the only white guy in the movie. She also said that Eminem's real mother must be happy because she's being played by Kim Basinger in the movie.
The guys spent a short time talking about how well the NY Jets did over the weekend before Howard took his first commercial break.
After the break Howard talked about the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest. This is the contest where they're giving away $25,000 plus a brand new Dodge Durango. Howard said they've started getting a few entries so he played one guy's roasting of Artie. This guy Frank sent in an tape and said Artie is the anchor to Howard's ship and he should be called ''Anchor Lange.'' You can find all the info you need about the contest at HowardStern.com.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who talked about the Eminem movie and how the ''Wiggers'' were invading his part of the city to see it. He told Howard all of these white kids were using the N-word. Howard said he's thinking of becoming a wigger... $54 million is big money for a movie. Howard said they should have a wigger contest and see how long they can last in Harlem. He said it would be like ''Survivor'' but in Harlem. Howard said the next thing you know everyone will be talking like Eminem. Tom Cruise, the President, they'll all become wiggers now.
Another caller told Howard that ''8 Mile'' really sucked and argued with Robin's review of it.
After getting off the phone with Debbie Howard took a couple more phone calls about other stuff. A guy called in and asked Howard if he'd bang actress Brittany Murphy. Howard said she used to be fat and she's been doing a great job at getting thin lately but her head is looking way to big now that she's lost weight. He spent a short time talking about that and took a couple more calls before taking the next commercial break.
Fred said the baby just came home yesterday. Fred said they set up a nursery and have a person helping out with the baby since Alison has staples from the c-section. Howard said there was a lot of controversy over the name Fred and Alison gave their baby... Tess. Fred said people are split on whether they like it or not. Robin asked if he had pictures of the baby. He whipped out a couple and showed everyone. Howard said he doesn't carry any pictures of his daughters with him. He said he doesn't have a wallet to put them in because he just carries a money clip. He said he should start carrying some.
Howard changed subjects and said he watched ''The Sopranos'' last night at about 1 in the morning. He said he couldn't sleep so he watched what he had recorded and loved the episode. All of the guys saw the show so they spent a little time talking about the show. Howard said that one great thing about this country is how great our TV shows are. He said that's why other countries hate us.
Howard said he watches movies with his youngest daughter on Friday nights. He said last Friday he saw ''Circle of Friends'' starring Minnie Driver. He said Minnie was great in the movie. The guys spent a little while talking about Minnie and how odd her head looks. Gary said her head looks strange when she's thin but when she's fat in the movie, it looks really strange.
Howard said he walks around the city over the weekends and looks for people with English Bulldogs and asks them about the dog. He's planning on getting one sometime next year. Howard was thinking about what to name the dog and someone suggested Tess, Fred's daughter's name. Howard said he's probably going to name the dog Bianca. He told a story about why he's going to do that. He said he needs a feminine name for the dog because they're just so ugly. Howard said he had a friend who was dating a stripper named Bianca one time and she wasn't all that nice. That's why he's going to name it Bianca.
Howard said he went to Dos Caminos for Mexican food over the weekend and it was great. He said it's owned by the same guy that owns Ocean and the Blue Water Grill. He said it's high-end Mexican food. He said he went out with football player Marco Battaglia but didn't bring up why he's not playing football lately. Howard said everyone asks Marco about that so he didn't want to bug him with that stuff. Howard said he ended up talking poon tang with him instead.
On Sunday, Howard said he went back to Completely Bare hair removal and had his hairy shoulders taken care of. He said he used to shave his shoulders but when someone touches him, they can tell that he's shaved. He said he spoke to the woman at Completely Bare and they told him more guys are coming in than ever. Howard said his girlfriend didn't understand why he was doing it but when she went with him, she ended up getting her whole ''cuch'' done. Howard said she's always been completely shaved down there so getting the hair removed completely wasn't all that strange. Howard said he loves that she doesn't have any hair down there. Gary wondered why Howard doesn't get all of his hair removed if he's so against it. He said he's a guy and it doesn't look right if he's bald down there. Howard said he trims his hair down there. Artie said he does too but didn't want to gross anyone out. He said if he were married for 20 years, he wouldn't shave and it would look like Don King was giving him oral down there. Gary said he doesn't trim down there because it's a single guy thing. Howard said the woman at Completely Bare told him she'd be willing to remove his ass cheek hair too if he wanted. He didn't get that done though. He said they get a lot of strange requests there. Howard said the woman told him that some guys want their anal hairs removed. Howard said he has to go to the place every month for 6 months to get the hair removed. He said it took about 40 minutes to get it done.
A guy called in and brought up ''The Sopranos'' and wondered how they could kill off the character they killed last night.
Howard took another call from a guy who was trying to talk him out of getting an English Bulldog. That got Howard talking about that for a short time. Another guy called in and told Howard he's got some 7 week old puppies but Howard said he isn't getting one until next year.
Howard pointed out that he's at work today even though it's a holiday. He said they ran out of vacation days so they had to come in. Howard said people are asking them why they're in. He said he's going to end the show at ten o'clock right on the money.
Gary gave Howard another ''Worlds Meanest Listener'' entry but it was from an intern that works there so he couldn't win. The intern roasted Scott the Engineer and sounded very angry while he did it. Howard ended up talking about how dumb it is that they won't let employees enter these contests. Howard said if he wants to fix the game he'll fix it. Gary said Cabbie has an entry too. Howard said he'll let any one of these guys win.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard her tape is on the way. She roasts Tom Chiusano in her tape so she gave Howard a little taste of what will be in it. Artie ended up doing his crow cawing impression of Mariann. She told him he was next on her list. Howard said he's going to try and get Tom to let employees participate in the contest. He took another break after that.
After the break Howard said he got a really angry e-mail from Debbie Schlussel who said there's no way she's going to do that makeover thing. She's still going to come on the show though.
He went on to talk to her about her book and how she talks about the celebrities she banged. She mentioned names like Richard Gere and Warren Beatty. She said she's now 60 years old and has a 34 year old husband. Howard went on to bring up some of the other guys she's slept with. She was with Matt Dillon for a while and of course Warren Beatty. Howard questioned her about Warren a bit. Carole said that he's not very well endowed and he has no ass. Howard asked her about Richard Gere and she said he's a great guy. She told Howard some stories about that relationship. Howard asked her about Rod Stewart who was good in bed according to Carole. He also asked her about Tom Berringer who was another good one in her book. Robert De Niro's name came up. Howard wondered how a white woman hooked up with De Niro who seems to like black women. She said De Niro kept his white socks on when they had sex. Howard mentioned Dudley Moore who Carole said liked to watch porno the first time they did it. Carole said she rejected Jack Nicolson and Ryan O'Neil. She said she heard lamps crashing when she left without having sex with him. Carole said she slept with Robin Williams who wasn't funny in bed like you'd think he'd be. She said she doesn't remember if he had a small penis or not. Howard asked her if she's ever slept with a black guy. She said she was with Reggie Jackson. Artie said that's his hero so Howard told him he should sleep with her because he could be where Reggie was. Carole said Reggie is very clean and not all that well endowed. She said Matt Dillon is bigger than he is.
Howard took some phone calls for Carole and talked about a few other celebrities she's been with. Carole told Howard that she was very let down after sleeping with Sean Connery. She told Howard that guys with good voices are a let down. Howard then started talking like a teenager going through puberty.
Howard gave Carole a plug for her book ''Wicked Confessions of a Cover Girl'' which is available on her web site WickedCoverGirl.com.
Howard spent a couple more minutes finding out about some of the other guys she's slept with. Then Carole asked if her husband could come in to meet him. Howard let the guy, Kenny, come in. Howard asked him what it's like to sleep with a woman who has been with so many guys. He doesn't seem to mind it at all. They told a story about him being arrested for hitting her after she ripped out a pot plant he was growing. She has an order of protection against him and said she'll use it if he hits her again. Howard wrapped it up after taking another phone call for her.
Howard said he got an e-mail from Chaunce Hayden who said he got to witness ''Jeff the Drunk'' at a recording session for his Christmas album. He told Howard some of the funny things that happened while he was there. Some of the things included Jeff falling out of his taxi as he got to the studio, Jeff wetting his pants while singing and not stopping. Someone also noticed that there was urine and blood all over the bathroom at the recording studio. Apparently Jeff had blood in his urine. Jeff could also only sing one line at a time before losing his place in each song. After reading that Howard played a voice mail message that Jeff left for them after hearing what they were planning on doing to him as he slept on the couch in the green room. Jeff was very upset that they were going to draw on his face and stuff like that last week when he was on. Jeff called in a short time later and spoke to Howard. Jeff complained about what they were going to do to him last week and how he was kicked out of the station at 5pm on Friday. Howard told him he had to leave because no one from the show was still there. Howard told him that they never did those things they talked about doing to him so he shouldn't be as upset as he was. Artie also tried giving Jeff some advice and told him to go to the doctor if he's really peeing blood. Jeff got really upset with the guys and ended up hanging up on Howard. Artie did his Jeff impression for a couple of minutes after that.
After Jeff's tantrum, Howard moved on to the Homeless game. He wanted to be off the air by ten o'clock so he went through the game pretty quickly. He said he had $5000 courtesy of H2 ''Hollywood Squares 2.'' Gary appears on the show all week long. Howard had a guy on the phone who wanted to play the game. Howard played a warm up clip and the homeless guy was asked ''What sports final game is called the Super Bowl?'' He said ''I don't know that one... Basketball, Football?'' Howard then played the game with the guy on the phone. He had to guess whether or not the guy would get the answer correct. Here are the questions they asked the homeless guy and his answers:
Howard said that Ja Rule was coming in later in the morning and he must be upset over Eminem's success. Robin didn't seem to understand Howard's reasoning behind that so they talked about that for a couple of minutes. Howard also said that Jon Hein from JumpTheShark.com will also be in with something special for them. Tomorrow they're playing ''Stump the Booey.'' Howard said he was let down by ''Hollywood Squares'' last night. Gary is appearing all week on the show and Howard said they didn't call on him once last night. Howard ended up talking about the guests on the show and how Howard hardly knew who any of them were. Howard also brought up how odd Joan Rivers looks after all of the plastic surgery she's had done on her face. He said she's looking like the Madam ventriloquist dummy.
Howard and the guys talked about how funny it is that they call Gary ''Baba Booey'' on Hollywood Squares. When Gary first uttered those words he had no idea that they'd still be with him 13 years later. He told Howard that would stick for about a day and people would forget. Gary said people in his neighborhood yell out ''Baba Booey!'' when they see him. He said a cop pulled him over one time and said ''Baba Booey'' a bunch of times over the loudspeaker. Howard got a bunch of clips from Hollywood Squares that he played. Melrose Larry Green also called in to play some clips for Howard. He said the first time they picked Gary they said his last name incorrectly. They called him Gary Dell'Abarte instead of Dell'Abate. Melrose also pointed out that Gary was on camera 15 times... Gary told Melrose he was scaring him with those kind of facts.
After taking a break Howard came back and talked about the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest for a short time. He reminded everyone of the rules, which are available on HowardStern.com. The grand prize is $25,000 plus a brand new Dodge Durango courtesy of Gary Barbera's Dodgeland in Philadelphia. Howard played another entry from the contest and said there aren't that many so far. The clip he played was a guy roasting him as his ex-wife's new husband. He did a whole bit with Howard's old dog Java. Robin said the guy had the right idea though. Howard said anyone can enter and you can roast any one of the members of the show. Howard and the guys figure after hearing that clip people will be inspired to do other similar bits with the other members of the show. Howard said someone will do something similar with Artie's girlfriend Dana, Fred's baby Tess and Robin's Mr. X.
Howard took a call from Shuli who said his tape is on the way for the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest. Howard said those tapes really rile him up. Shuli changed subjects and said that he watched the E! show with David Blaine and his girlfriend Manon last night. He said she's stupid enough to fall for David Blaine so he might be able to get her too. Howard talked about how hot Manon was and how Blaine gets all of these really hot chicks. Shuli asked Howard if Beth's personality was like David Blaine's if he'd stay with her. Howard said there's no way he would. He said he dated a really hot chick a couple of years ago and she had no personality. He said when they had sex it was great but she never spoke to him so they only lasted about a week.
Howard took calls from a couple of guys who said Manon was hot for Howard on the E! show last night. Shuli changed subjects again and told Howard that E! didn't even mention Fred's baby being born on the scrolls they run under his show. He said they mentioned another celebrity birth but not Fred's. Shuli pointed out some of the other lame crap that E! runs under his show that no one cares about. This woman Mara called in and said that Manon wasn't looking at Howard with love in her eyes. She said she was looking at Howard because of the money he makes. She went off on him for a short time but Artie threw a few insults her way too. Howard said she's sent in quite a few entries for the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest. Artie told her to grease up her door and try to make it down to the studio. Shuli said she won't be able to make it down because she'll be busy shooting ''Jurassic Park 4.'' A couple of other listeners called in and defended Howard against Mara. Howard eventually ended the call with her and wondered where her entries for the contest were. He was going to play them but he didn't have them.
Howard spent a little time talking about how we're on the verge of World War 3. He wondered if Tom Chiusano would be willing to masturbate one last time before the end of the world. He also wondered if Artie could bet that there will be a World War 3 because he'd be sure to lose like he does with all of his other bets. Howard also brought up Debbie Schlussel and wondered if she'd let them do a makeover on her before the war. He spent a couple of minutes talking about her and how she's refusing to let them do a makeover on her when she comes in sometime in the near future. That led to a discussion about women who get married and eventually turn into manly looking women. He said he wants to stop Debbie from looking bad before it's too late. He doesn't want her to go in that direction. Gary told Howard he spoke to Debbie after the whole makeover discussion yesterday and things were kind of weird. He said she was okay but she was still upset about the discussion.
Carey is legally blind and Howard thought Scott said something about him being a ''Blind F***'' during their argument. Scott said he never said that and after playing the tape they heard Carey tell Scott he could call him that if he wanted to. Scott never used the term. Howard said the fight went on way too long. After playing the tape Howard wrapped up the segment and sent them on their way.
Howard said he loves all of the hijinks that go on there in the hallways of the station.
Howard went on to talk about how hot Halle Berry looks in the promos for the new James Bond movie. He said they had pictures of her in a bikini on Entertainment Tonight last night and she looks really great. He said she's ''smokin' hot.'' Howard said they asked her if she was scared during the stunts she did in the movie. Howard said she let Billy Bob Thornton stick his lizard tongue down her throat in ''Monsters Ball'' so the stunts couldn't have been any worse than that.
Howard had a couple of words to say about Bill Gates giving $100 million to India to help fight AIDS. Howard wondered why he doesn't give that money to people in America. He said the people in India aren't buying Microsoft products so why give the money to them?
Howard brought up the Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez engagement. He said they were interviewing Matt Damon on a program last night and he said this is the happiest he's ever seen Ben. Howard said of course he's happy, he's with Jennifer Lopez. Howard said he doesn't really get the Ben Affleck thing. He said he must have a great rap with women or something. Howard seems to think his career may eventually go wrong and J-Lo will leave him. He said it could go the other way and she could cheat on him and their marriage will end. He said either way they'll probably split pretty quick. He said Ben will probably end up with some B list celebrity like Christina Ricci.
Howard changed subjects again and read a news article about a woman walking in on a tenant of a mobile home and found him having sex with her beagle. Howard said it happened in South Brunswick, New Jersey so it wasn't far from them. The police came and confiscated a dagger from the guy's home. Howard talked about how sick and wrong that is.
Howard was getting ready to go through some e-mail when he saw that Debbie Schlussel was calling in to talk about Ben Affleck. She said she believes he wears a hair piece. Howard also believes that he wears one. They talked about that for a short time before Howard brought up Debbie's makeover. Howard is still trying to convince her she should do it when she comes in but she's still saying ''no.''
Chaunce Hayden called in and said he knows that Ben Affleck must wear a hair piece because his brother has a completely different hair line. Howard said he should know because he had hair plugs put in by a former garbage man.
Howard got back to the e-mail he started to read earlier. Howard said some Canadians were upset that they can't enter the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest. Howard said anyone can enter but Benjy said he read the rules and it does say you have to be a resident of the U.S. To enter. Howard wondered what the reasoning was behind that. Gary came in and said even Tom's not sure why that rule is in there. Gary said they have a set of rules they start with and that may have been left in without any particular reason. Tom came in and said he doesn't know why that rule is there. He said he didn't write the rules, a lawyer did. They said they don't have a station up there in Canada but there are some who listen to a Buffalo, NY affiliate who could enter.
Howard read some e-mail from people who went off on Debbie Schlussel and how she needs a makeover. Some people don't care about Debbie and don't care if she gets a makeover.
Howard said he got some mail from people in Washington DC who complained that they were censoring his show while he was playing the ''blow job'' tape. This newscaster almost said the phrase ''blow job'' on the air but stopped himself. Howard said the guy never finished the phrase so they shouldn't have censored it. Howard replayed the clip and apologized to the people in DC who probably didn't hear it again. After listening to the clip again the guys ended up talking about the phrase the guy was going to say which was ''curb job.'' Howard didn't know what that meant so Artie explained it as being when you put a guys mouth on a curb and kick the back of his head so his teeth get knocked to the back of his head. Howard said he had no idea that's what it meant. Howard went to break with a little Ja Rule playing.
Howard said he read that Ja Rule bragged to friends that J-Lo was good in bed. He denied ever saying that though. Howard said it was in US magazine so it wasn't a tabloid story. Ja Rule said that he's a married man... He said he didn't have any ''sexual intercourses'' with J-Lo.
Howard told Robin that JA is actually an abbreviation for his real name, Jeff Atkins. He also talked to Ja about how much he's worth and pointed out the nice watch he had on his wrist. Ja said it's a $100,000 watch.
Howard talked to Ja about working with J-Lo and how he gave her permission to use the word ''Nigga'' in her song. Ja said that he believes that all minorities are niggas. Howard agreed with him and Ja called Howard his nigga. Artie said he wanted to give Ja permission to use the word Guinea with him.
Howard said Ja Rule has some rapper conflicts and brought up some of the other guys he has problems with. Howard said there's a guy who calls himself 50 Cent and he made some strange comment about Ja Rule getting robbed and how he didn't treat him the same way after that. Ja said he doesn't even understand that one. Howard read that Ja apparently went after the guy with a baseball bat one time but Ja said he knows nothing about that either.
Howard read that Ja Rule was questioned in the shooting death of Jam Master Jay. He said he was a good friend of Jay's and of course he had nothing to do with the shooting. KC came in and said that Ja Rule has a couple of the biggest guys he's ever seen hanging out in the green room. They were brought in a minute later. Howard said it felt like he was in high school again sitting there with them. Artie joked that Howard instinctively gave them his lunch money when they came in. Howard spoke to the guys for a short time. One of the guys is part of Ja's security. Howard wanted to compare their security guys so he had Ronnie the Limo Driver come in. Ronnie is Howard's security and he was pretty small compared to Ja's security guy. Ronnie said he'd do whatever he had to do to keep Ja's guys off of Howard if he had to. Robin said he'd end up calling the cops if something happened. Ja's guy said he's about 6'5'' tall and weighs 320 pounds. Ronnie is about 5'8'' tall and weighs about 175 pounds.
Howard read some other facts about Ja. He said that he was raised in a Jahovas witness home so he did go around knocking on doors with his parents. Ja said he was too young to sign people up so he just went along for the trip.
Howard gave Ja a couple of plugs for his movie and for his CD. He took a few phone calls for him and spent a little while longer talking to him before wrapping up the interview.
Howard said that Jon has a book out and a TV show that should be out soon. He's doing really well with his whole ''Jump the Shark'' thing. Howard spent a little while talking to Jon about some of the shows that are on now and whether or not they've ''jumped the shark'' yet. Howard brought up ''The Sopranos'' and wondered if people think it's jumped the shark. Jon said he thinks the show is still great but when they kill off characters like Uncle Junior, they have jumped the shark. Jon also said that ''West Wing'' has jumped the shark now that they've added Lily Tomlin to the cast. They also discussed David E. Kelly's ''Girls Club'' which only lasted one or two episodes before FOX canceled it. Jon said that it seems that David E. Kelly may have jumped the shark himself. Jon and Howard discussed ''The Osbournes'' and Jon said we'll have to wait for the second season to know whether or not the show has jumped the shark.
Crazy Cabbie called in and brought up the fact that he and Artie are both pretty much blamed for Howard's show jumping the shark. Jon said Cabbie dropped off for a while when Artie joined the show but he's been going back up lately.
Howard went through a bunch of other shows with Jon including a couple that sound kind of similar to the show that Artie is working on. Artie kept pointing out that he doesn't have a hot wife on his show though. Howard asked Jon about some of the wacky things that NBC has done with their shows in the past including having ''special guest stars'' in every show in their lineup. They talked about ''The Bachelor'' and Jon said he thinks that it jumped the shark at the end of last season. Howard also asked about ''Survivor'' and whether that has jumped too. Jon said it's getting ratings but it's not quite what it used to be. Howard also talked about ''Smallville'' and how good it's been this season. He said they still do some wacky stuff with the story lines but it's pretty good. Jon said he agrees and they have been mixing up the story lines this season.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up ''The Simpsons'' and Jon said he thinks that show has never jumped the shark. He said this week The Simpsons actually jumped over some sharks at the beginning of the show. Another listener brought up Howard's ''Son of the Beach'' so Jon said that show never really jumped the shark either. The caller asked Howard if we'd ever see that show on the air again after FX dropped it. Howard told a quick story about how he was in a meeting with a network over the show and they ended up going for another one of Howard's shows instead of ''Son of the Beach.'' He said the deal isn't done yet so he's not talking about what it's about yet. He said ''Wait 'til I tell you what it is! You're gonna love this...'' Howard said the people he was talking to told him ''Son of the Beach'' is ''brand identified'' with FX so it might be hard to get past that. Howard seemed to think that was kind of crazy.
Howard asked Jon if he thinks the Austin Powers movies have finally jumped the shark. Jon said after the last one he does think they went too far. He said when you have a 5 minute Britney Spears video in the beginning of your movie, you may have run out of stuff to put in it.
Howard had to take a break before doing the news. He ran out of time to do the Homeless Game he planned on doing today so he just gave Hollywood Squares 2 a plug since they were giving them the $5000 prizes for the game. Howard ended up talking about Hollywood Squares for a couple of minutes and mentioned that Gary is on all week long. Gary came in and told Howard a couple of quick stories about doing the show before Howard took his break. He said he had to take a break, do Robin's news and get out of there by ten o'clock.
After taking a break Howard said that the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest is heating up. He said the Reverend Bob Levy (revboblevy.net) submitted his entry and it was so racist and dirty that the guys wouldn't even play it for him. Howard said he'll listen to it ahead of time. Howard said he did what he's supposed to do and roasted Robin. Howard wondered if they should listen to it on the air or not. Robin wondered if it was worse than Daniel Carver could be. Artie said that Levy is great at blasting hecklers during comedy shows so he treats Robin like she's a heckler. Gary came in and told Howard that it was a 9 on a scale of 10 in the meanest way. He said that the racist parts of the roast are the parts that will offend Robin the least. Robin wanted to hear it. Howard wondered if they'd be mad at Levy after hearing it. Howard said they should have left Robin out of it because she's a chick and they feel bad when people go off on her. Stuttering John came in and said it's the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest so they had to play it. Howard said he was nervous to play it so he held off on it. Robin said it's possible he could reduce her to tears but she wanted to hear it.
Jim Florentine (JimFlorentine.com) called in and said he heard the tape and it's brutal. Jim said he talked to Bob yesterday and he threatened to tell Howard that Jim helped him out. Gary came in and said there are some really uncomfortable moments during it and you won't want to be in the room. Jim told Howard it's a 10 on a scale of 10 in a brutal way. KC came in and told Howard that Bob says Howard is next on his list for roasting. Howard kept putting off playing the tape and talked about other stuff. Jim Florentine said he wasn't sure he wanted any part of it and didn't mind if Howard hung up on him. Howard played the tape and it was pretty brutal. He goofs on her weight and makes some remarks about her being black. He said she went out as a ''ni**er'' for Halloween so she wouldn't have to buy a costume and stuff like that. He basically called her a monkey and went off on her for a minute. He said he wants to win the Dodge Durango so he can drive her back to the zoo... and use the $25,000 to feed her on the way there. Robin thought it was pretty funny and didn't seem to be offended by it at all. Rev. Bob Levy called in and said he's working on more entries for Howard and the other guys on the show. Bob said Howard is next then Artie, John and KC. By the end of the contest he hopes to roast everyone. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and complained that Howard is letting professionals participate in the contest when people like her don't have a chance. Howard said sometimes the worst sounding entries in their contests are the ones who win.
Howard played Mariann's entry in the contest. She roasted Tom Chiusano and Howard didn't even make it through the whole thing. Howard went on to give out the rules for those who haven't heard them yet. You can find them on HowardStern.com. Howard said he's not even sure if he will play the tape of Bob roasting him. He's afraid it will be too brutal even for him.
Howard moved on and said that this guy Shepperd Smith who almost said ''Blow Job'' during a news cast recently will be calling in to talk about that. Howard played the clip of the newscast again to remind everyone what happened. Yesterday the guys discussed the clip and what Smith was referring to when he said ''curb job.'' Howard said they pulled Artie's definition of the term and put it in the news.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest was over after hearing Bob's roast of Robin. Another guy called in and said he didn't think it was that funny though. Howard said they're going to pick 10 finalists and the listeners will vote for the winner. Howard played another entry that he played one other time where the guy roasts Howard while pretending to be his ex-wife's new husband. Howard said he can barely get through that one.
Chaunce Hayden called in and said he thinks his own roast of Ronnie the Limo Driver will blow Bob Levy's roast away. He said he'll be bringing that in to them tomorrow.
Howard replayed Stuttering John's interview with baseball player Dwight Gooden that he played recently. After that he moved on to talk about Osama bin Laden possibly being alive. There was a recent recording of his voice and it turns out it's probably him and he's probably alive. Howard talked about how crazy it is that everyone is hanging on his every word now. Howard did his impression of Osama and made some jokes about Debbie Schlussel and how she's refusing to get a make over on his show. Howard went on to read another e-mail he got from Debbie about how she's upset about them goofing on her looks and how she thinks she looks just fine. Artie said he saw her on Cross Fire last night and they did an extreme close up and her hair is way too blonde. Howard said his girlfriend was going to help with the make over but now she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't want to offend her.
Howard took a call from a Washington DC listener who said the station down there has been dumping out of the show when Howard plays that ''blow job'' clip. Howard said he heard from the Program Director down there and he apologized for doing that and said they wouldn't do it again. Howard said he just can't win down there.
Howard went on to do his Osama bin Laden impression and did some roasting of the people on the show. He had some fun with that for a few minutes before going off on Osama again. Howard said he can't believe we can't get that guy and get rid of him.
Howard brought up a story he read about a flesh eating virus that killed a guy in 4 days. Howard said Dominic Barbara got the virus but the virus gave up after a month. Howard joked that Dominic actually gained weight while the virus was eating him.
Howard took a call from a guy who claims that the restaurant Howard enjoys going to, Nobu, has had some health code violations. Howard didn't let the guy go too far with those claims because he was afraid he was going to get himself in trouble.
Stuttering John told Howard that on ''Hollywood Squares 2'' last night, they changed Gary's name to ''Baba Booey'' on his square. Gary said he was told they were going to have his name, Gary Dell'Abate'', on his square but they'd call him Baba Booey. Gary also told Howard that his kids were watching TV yesterday and they saw the promo for the show where they called him Baba Booey. He said his youngest son Lucas heard it and started yelling it out over and over again. He didn't even know it was his father. His other son Jackson told Lucas that Baba Booey is their dad and they kept yelling it out because they think it's funny sounding. Howard said it's not that bad of a nickname for him. Gary agrees but some people have shortened it and just call him ''Bob'' now. Artie said that guy is lazy because he wants to make fun of him but he can't even say the whole word.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up how ABC ran ''Saving Private Ryan'' uncensored and uncut the other night. They were cursing and swearing during the whole movie and Howard can't even say asshole without getting in trouble with the FCC. Howard said he's allowed to say ''titty'' on the air now but they had to wait for other stations to say it and get approval for it. Howard said Tom won't let anyone on the station say ''asshole'' but a listener can call in and say it no problem. Howard complained about Tom and his wacky rules for a while. He said Tom still won't allow them to use the ''Bon Jovi Bukake Party'' title for a Scores party they wanted to hold. Howard said Tom won't let them use ''bukake'' in the title so he called it off. He said Tom is the main reason he's leaving radio when his contract is up. Howard said he knows that Tom is going to retire right after he retires. Tom has told him that before. Howard said he wishes that Tom would just leave now and let him enjoy his last three years there. He said he spoke to his boss Mel Karmazin about Tom but Mel is loyal to people who have been with him for a long time and he's not going to fire him. Howard had to take another break after talking about all of that stuff.
Howard got Jeff off the phone and let Stuttering John talk about Artie's eating habits. Howard said that Artie was all over the news with his TV show project. Stuttering John said ''yeah, if he lives that long..'' and went on to talk about what Artie ate yesterday for lunch. John told Howard that Artie ate egg whites on toast with a glass of Coke, a buttered bagel and a bowl of cereal with milk. John said he called Artie a couple hours later and Artie was eating peanut M&Ms and had a turkey wrap in the microwave. John said Artie told him he was watching the food network and saw some desert place in St. Louis and he's going there this weekend. John said Artie told him he's already called them and he's going over there on Saturday afternoon.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard he has to get into Jeff the Drunk's CD further and he'll find the good stuff. Howard said he got into it enough though. The guy apparently plays in the band.
Howard is going to set up the treadmill challenge with Artie and Erik. He told Artie he really does have to beat Erik or he'll look really lame.
The guys got back to Artie's food story and continued to question him about all of the food he eats. Howard had other stuff to get to so he wrapped up the Artie food stories. He took a call from a guy who said that Rev. Bob Levy's tape broke the rules they have up on HowardStern.com. He said one of the first rules says that the entry has to be ''radio clean'' and Bob's had cursing in it. Howard said that's ridiculous and people can send in cursing tapes. Howard played a couple of clips from the contest including Bob's roasting of Robin again right before going to commercial break.
Competing against Gary today was Celeste Brady from Haverhill, Massachusetts. Howard spent a short time talking to her about where she was from. Howard said he figured she was playing for the money so she could move away from Haverhill. Gary told Howard that she was so excited about coming in that she drove down on Saturday to map out the whole thing so she could get there. She said she can't get all of the songs they play but she did know one that Gary didn't know one time. Howard read that Celeste wants to take a motorcycle riding school so she can get a discount on her insurance. He also read that she was disowned by her family. She said she has a weird family and she hasn't seen her parents in five and a half years now.
Howard moved on to play the game. He told everyone the rules and played the first song. Howard plays the tunes and Gary and the contestant have to write down the name and the artist. The first song was ''Abra Cadabra'' by the Steve Miller band. Both of them got it right. The second song was ''Making Plans for Nigel'' by XTC. Both of them got it right. The third song was ''Lucky Number'' by Laina Lovich. Celeste missed it but Gary got it. Howard played the fourth song and Gary had it right away. It was ''Never Surrender'' by Corey Hart. Gary had already won but Howard played the fifth and last song. Both of them knew it was ''You Belong to the City'' by Glenn Frey. Robin said that song would be good for High Pitch Erik while he's getting the strap-on.
Howard thanked ''The Jamie Kennedy Experiement'' for putting up the money even though Celeste didn't win. Gary hasn't lost yet in the game which is pretty good. Howard wrapped up the segment a short time later.
After getting off the phone with Jeff Howard took a call from a transsexual who was arguing about something Howard had said earlier in the show. The transsexual and Howard eventually argued about whether or not he/she could fool guys into thinking he/she was a chick or not. The tranny said that he/she would come down to the studio so Howard could try to pick him/her out of a lineup. Howard said they'll get four women, put him/her in the lineup and if she fools them, they'll give her $1000 of iWon.com money.
After Jeff Howard quickly went through the ''Benjy Box'' and found the pictures and a bunch of headphones in there. It turns out the headphones were the ones they use for the homeless people when they have them in the studio.
Howard read some e-mail and talked about Gary's appearance on ''Hollywood Squares'' last night. He played a few clips from that and Gary was actually pretty good on the show. He made a couple of jokes that weren't scripted. After that Howard moved on to the Homeless Game.
Angelo talked about being sent to solitary confinement for 4 straight years and how he's thinking of suing the state over the whole thing. His lawyer said they are going to sue for $50 million. He's been out of prison since July.
Howard took some phone calls for the guy and one person said he'll probably end up back in prison. He did have some other convictions before he was charged with the murder. Angelo doesn't seem to think that he'll end up back there even though that's pretty much all he knows at this time. Howard spent a few more minutes talking to him about the marriages he had and how excited he must have been to finally get out.
Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said there's not a very good chance for them to win the $50 million case. He said the drug charges will really hurt him. Angelo's lawyer said there have been a couple of cases won in similar cases but they only awarded about $2 million. He added that those people didn't spend 17 years in prison. Howard wrapped up the interview and wished Angelo luck. He also told him to let them know what he's up to in the future.
After taking a break Howard talked about a frightening picture of Michael Jackson in the newspaper this morning. He talked about the news story and how Jackson is in court over a concert he never did. Howard said no wonder he hangs around kids, his face is so scary that adults would be afraid to be near him. He and Robin talked about how Jackson touches his face and screws up his makeup. Howard said his upturned nose was turning brown in the pictures he saw. Howard said maybe it's turning back to it's original color. Either that or he's got his nose so far up Elizabeth Taylor's ass that it's brown. Howard joked that he was really upset when his Millennium concerts were canceled. Howard said the best selling concert would probably be Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears getting it on together on stage. Even Robin said she'd like to see that happen. Howard got back to talking about how weird Jackson is.
Howard said Rick James has been accused of assaulting a woman again. He and the guys talked about that for a short time. Howard said that guy has to change his nickname from ''Super Freak'' to something else after hearing that.
Robin said that governor Jesse Ventura may be getting his own talk show. Howard and Artie did their wrestler impressions for a short time and goofed on how that show might go. Howard then moved on to talk about the Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, and how he wants to bring back some taxes that they'd done away with. Howard had his own plan to tax marijuana cigarettes. He said they could pay off their deficit really quick if they had legalized pot. Howard said he'd be willing to pay $80 a pack for really good pot.
Gary the Retard called in and said he was talking to a woman online and she thinks Howard is cute or something. Howard told Gary that it's probably a guy pretending to be a woman but Gary didn't want to believe it. Gary said it was a woman and he was watching her on camera. Howard tried to explain that it might be a looped tape of a woman but it's probably a dude goofing on him. Gary can't type so he talks to her over a microphone. Howard wanted to hear him talk to her so he had Gary yelling into his computer. The woman's name was ''Fantasy'' and he kept yelling at her to speak up. Howard said Gary is on disability and was spending $42 a month to talk on the internet. Howard wondered why Gary picked Fantasy out of all of the other girls online to talk to. He rambled on and on about nothing for a few seconds and didn't have a good explanation. Gary said Fantasy showed him her ''boobies'' and everything while he was chatting with her. Gary was convinced that her real name was Fantasy too. He said she told him she likes when he's on the show with Howard. She also wants to meet Howard. Howard eventually wrapped up the conversation with Gary and talked about how happy that dude is. He's having more fun than a lot of people are and he's retarded.
Cabbie said Gary came up to him the same day and asked him to sign something related to the search. He told Howard that he needs help writing this letter he's supposed to write. Howard told him what he could write and how he should say that he's successful. Then he can ask her to let him see her. Howard said the success thing will get her attention and she may let him visit her. Howard said he wants him to meet her on the air. Howard told him to just write a generic letter to this woman and ask her to just meet with him. He said he thinks the woman probably looks just like Cabbie with long hair. Howard ended the call after a few minutes and took a break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the album is frightening and Jeff is just ''too forced'' trying to be funny. Howard told him it's time to get back to the drawing board. Howard told him his life will be fine with the hand stamping job and all. Jeff said he has no job now and no one will hire him. Yesterday Gary told Jeff that Starbucks Coffee was hiring people for $12 an hour and he could probably do that. Jeff asked Howard if he had anything for him to do on the show. Howard asked him what he can do. Jeff told him he'd answer the phone. That won't happen though. The guys started coming up with ideas for him. Benjy said he could be a psychic. Howard told him he could be Santa Claus at the mall. Artie was doing his impression of Jeff while all of that was going on. Jeff did a public service announcement and said that people shouldn't drink and drive... especially through a cornfield like he did.
Howard got off the phone with Jeff and got back to the e-mail. Someone wrote in and complained about Artie not shutting up on the show. Others wrote in and said that they're worried about Artie's eating and how he might die when they do the treadmill challenge with Artie and High Pitch Erik. Howard ended up talking about that for a short time. He said he wanted to tell his girlfriend Beth about what Artie eats but she didn't want to hear it. Howard went on to say that he got some positive e-mail about Reverend Bob Levy's ''World's Meanest Listener'' contest entry and how it was the best yet. There was at least one e-mail from someone who thought it was too mean.
Howard spent a short time talking about Sally Jesse Raphael going out and doing every talk show about how she's going to sue the National Enquirer over a story they did about her having a mental breakdown. Howard ended up playing a clip of Sally on a show complaining about the story. Howard said he thinks she's thrilled over all of the attention she's getting over this whole thing and she's probably not as upset as she says she is. Howard joked that he was mad at Sally because she stole his halloween costume. Howard said he knows she's got a case if the story isn't true but he also thinks that she's thrilled that she's getting all of this attention. Howard went to break after that discussion.
This guy Dr. Orgasm claims that he can give a woman an orgasm just by touching her in the right spot. Howard said the guy claims that by just touching a woman's hips, he can give them an orgasm. Robin said he looked like a doctor when he came in. Howard played the Dr. Orgasm theme song as he came in. Howard told Dr. Orgasm he had a big challenge today with female body builder Nicole Bass. Stuttering John apparently told Howard she looks scarier than ever too.
Howard spent a short time talking to Dr. Orgasm about how he studied Karate and learned that he could knock someone out with the right pressure point. That's how he eventually got into this orgasm thing. He claims that he's done this on about 50 women and it's successful about 85 percent of the time. He said you can go to a club and dance with a woman, then touch them the right way and give them an orgasm. He said he was going to teach Howard how to do this. Howard gave him a plug for his web site OneTouchOrgasm.com and then brought in Nicole Bass. Howard said she did look pretty frightening. Fred played ''The Munsters'' theme song as she came into the studio. Nicole didn't believe that this guy could possibly do what this guy claims he can do. Nicole was wearing a belly shirt so Howard asked her where it came from. She said a friend of hers made it for her and gave her a plug for her web site MerryChristine.com.
Howard quickly had Dr. Orgasm start his thing. He went over to Nicole and tried to work his magic while she sat on his lap. Robin asked Nicole if she's ever had an orgasm. Nicole joked that she had one when she showed Robin her private parts in the bathroom one time. Dr. Orgasm was trying to find the right pressure point for her clitoris but Nicole just kept talking and talking while he tried it. Fred cracked penis jokes during that time as if Nicole had one. After a couple of minutes nothing happened so Howard had Robin come in to give it a try. She sat on his lap and he tried to work his magic with her. Robin said she could feel him touching her but nothing was happening. After a short try Robin said she felt nothing so they gave up. Howard said there were women waiting to play ''Guess the Tranny'' so they brought in one by the name of Stacy to give it a try. She sat on Dr. Orgasm's lap and let him try his thing. She said it felt good and her heart was beating. She was getting excited but she thought it might be from just being in the studio. She said she wasn't feeling anything in her vagina. She said it wasn't orgasmic to her but it did feel good. Howard said he was starting to think this was all B.S. Stacy said she thought she knew what the guy was going for so she tried to get him in the right area. It still wasn't working. KC asked Howard if he wanted to try one more woman. Howard agreed to try another one so they brought in another one of the ''Guess the Tranny'' women. Denise came in and gave it a try. She sat there for a few seconds and said she felt nothing at all. She said his knee wasn't even comfortable to sit on. Howard said the whole thing was a bust and didn't want Dr. Orgasm to teach him anything. Howard gave Nicole a plug for her website NicoleBass.com and thanked everyone that came in.
Joey Buttafuoco called in and goofed on Nicole for a short time. Nicole complained about him not signing the contract to do the fight but Joey said he's still willing to fight her. He said if Howard can put a date together for January, he'll do it. Howard said Joey's people had a problem with the contract and he never signed it. The fight was supposed to be happening tomorrow but they canceled it. Howard said he'll see what they can do to work things out.
Nicole had her trainer Derek Panza with her so Howard asked him to come in to talk about how Nicole is doing. He told Howard that she will beat Joey if he just signs the contract. He said she will beat him into submission and he'll quit the fight. Joey thinks that he can win and gave a plug to his trainer's web site AllAboutFighting.com. Nicole told Joey that he can't cheat during this fight so Joey said ''What do you think, I'm going to kick you in the balls?'' Howard spent a few more minutes talking about the fight and Nicole's stamina. Derek said they got Nicole to quit smoking and now she's running and her stamina should be good by fight time. Howard and the guys spent a few more minutes talking to Joey and Nicole about their training and how they think they're going to do. Joey even said he'd be willing to fight Stuttering John in a warm up fight before doing Nicole. The guys seemed to think that he was nuts. Howard wrapped up the segment and took another break.
Tom has a deal with Microsoft to do some kind of advertising campaign for them so Howard wondered why big corporations don't pick him to do stuff like that. Tom talked a little bit about that and said he's friendly with Bill Gates.
Howard said that Tom talks about his small penis in his book. Tom said it's small until it needs to be bigger and then it gets larger. He also talks about wanting to have kids in the book. He spent a short time telling Howard how he went for testing one time and they tried impregnating a hamster egg with his sperm to see if it would work on a human egg. He said they told him that a hamster egg is close to a human egg and that's why they use it.
Howard spent some time talking to Tom about his relationship with Roseanne and how wacky she was. He talked about her multiple personalities a little bit. He told Howard about the 4 year old German boy who ''liked him'' and this young girl by the name of Cindy that was in there. When Roseanne was mad at him he'd ask for Cindy to come out since she liked him.. He said that they went to therapy at one point and the therapist told him that he shouldn't bring out the ones that like him because he's just encouraging her odd behavior.
Tom also wrote about his second wife in the book. She apparently cheated on him while they were married. Howard also brought up how Tom lied on his show one time when he told Howard he and Roseanne never had an affair with their assistant. He said they actually did have a threesome with the other woman. Howard said Tom talks about his times in jail and all kinds of other things in the book. He was molested as a child and went to confront the guy when he grew up. He said the guy played games with him and touched him. He said when he went back he went to his business and confronted him in the hall. He later hung signs up in his old neighborhood to warn people about the guy. Tom said the guy was in the middle of trying to adopt another child when he was in the area. He went to the governor of the state and tried to stop the adoption. He found out later that it was stopped.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Tom including one from Chaunce Hayden who brought up a couple of things that he interviewed Tom about for Steppin' Out. He said Tom and Roseanne banned people from appearing on Howard's show if they were on ''Roseanne.'' Tom said that was true but he and Roseanne were both huge fans of Howard's show. Howard knew their marriage was doomed and talked about it on the air so that's what upset them. Howard told Tom about Chaunce's hair plugs and how a guy who used to be a garbage man actually did the work.
Howard wrapped up the interview after taking the calls and talking to Tom about his marriage. Howard told tom he's happy that he's happy being married. He knows that Tom really wants to have kids and if he's happy being married then he's not going to tell him not to. Tom and Artie kissed each other's asses a little bit. Artie said Tom is great on ''The Best Damn Sports Show Period'' and Tom said Artie is great on Howard's show.
Howard said when they got he call today he actually had Fred end the commercials early so they could get to the call. Stuttering John said he just hoped that she'd hold on long enough for Howard to get to her. Howard took a couple of phone calls from some listeners and they loved Underdog Lady. Howard said he would have kept her on the air for an hour and a half if he could have but she hung up on him.
One listener called in and congratulated Fred on the birth of his baby daughter Tess. Howard then spent a couple of minutes getting an update from Fred on how that's gone over the past week or so. Fred said she finally slept through a night and he's enjoying the baby. He said he's learned the baby's favorite position and he knows how to keep her calm. After talking to Fred about that Howard interrupted the guy who called in because Susan the Underdog Lady called back in. She said Howard was being his usual insensitive person and was insulting her earlier. Howard told her that he was fascinated by what she did back then and she knew what she was getting into when she kept coming on the show. Howard told Susan that his father actually worked on the Underdog cartoons many years ago in his recording studio. That silenced Susan for a few seconds but then she said Howard ''maligned it'' by surrounding her with X-rated show content. The longer she was on the phone the angrier she got. She started out mellow but within a couple of minutes she was yelling at him again until she completely freaked out and hung up on him. Howard told John to try and get her on the phone again.
Benjy told Howard he didn't know exactly who she was so Howard explained her to him. Howard said she believed she was never ridiculed but he knows she was. He and the rest of the guys spent some time talking about just how odd she is. Howard said they could do 4 hours a day for a year and not run out of material.
Dominic Barbara called in and said he has a friend that wants to hire her and it could be worth up to $2500. Howard didn't want anyone goofing on her so he asked Dominic if he was serious. He said he was and asked Howard too hook her up if she called back. Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and reminded everyone of who she looked like. He said Susan looked like Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters. Howard finished up the Underdog lady discussion and took another break so they could get to Robin's news.
After the break Howard said he heard something odd about Scott DePace from E!. He said he heard that Scott is so against bi-lingual stuff in the U.S. That he was going to take his money to another bank because his bank offered Spanish as an alternate language on the ATM machine. Scott said he would like to do that but he didn't do it. Stuttering John said he heard that Scott was going to do it. Scott believes that there should be only one language in this country and it should be English.
Howard talked about how XM Satellite Radio just laid off 80 people and how they're not doing so well. Stuttering John asked him if he'd consider doing satellite after his current contract is up. Howard said he's done with radio after the current contract. Gary came in and asked Howard if he'd be willing to do a couple more years if they offered him the right amount of money. Howard said he might do more as long as Tom Chiusano isn't around. Gary asked him if he'd stick around if he had a 4 day work week or something like that. Howard said he'd do it if he could have Mondays and Fridays off. He went on to talk about the article he read about XM Satellite. Robin said she was asked if she wanted XM and she said no. Howard said the radios are apparently hard to make and that's why they're kind of expensive.
Howard took some phone calls and talked about a bunch of other stuff before getting to Robin's news. He talked about the movies he's executive producing. For those of you who don't know, he's remaking ''Porky's'' and ''Rock and Roll High School.'' The guys all spent some time talking about that and goofing around with some ideas for the ''Rock and Roll High School'' movie. Howard moved on to the news after those discussions.
Much later during Robin's news Stuttering John got Underdog lady back on the phone. He told Howard that the only way she'd agree to come back on the show was if Howard told his fans to stop bothering her in public. Howard did that and she also told him to stop calling her ''Underdog Lady'', she's just ''Underdog.'' Howard sweet talked her and told her he misses her and thinks he loves her. He said he dreams of getting to know her better. She wasn't taking that the right way though. Howard told her that she was responsible for his divorce in a strange way. She didn't believe that and also figured he was going to blame her for his WWOR TV show being canceled 10 years ago. Howard confessed his love to her over and over again but she just wanted him to make his fans stop bothering her. Howard told the fans to stop taunting her and continued to try and win her back over. Howard called her his ''lady love'' but she didn't want any part of that. Howard told her that he really does love her but her anger just wouldn't go away.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Underdog slapped his kid when he refused to stop taunting her. She said she never hit anyone, she just shook her fist at the kid. Howard defended Underdog lady and continued to try and win her over. She continued to repeat her plea for Howard to make everyone stop taunting her. Howard put the word out again for people to stop bothering her and ended up singing a love song to her. Underdog said she's not sure she can trust him. Howard sang that he wanted her to enter his bed but after a few minutes of that she hung up on him again. Stuttering John asked if they should try to book her for the show the next time she calls in. ''Of course!'' Howard yelled at John.
Howard took a call from boxer Shannon Briggs who called in to tell Howard to lay off of her a bit. He got in a plug for some event he was doing tonight before Howard got off the phone and wrapped up the rest of the news.
Howard took a call from an electrician who said Howard didn't tip him when he did some work for him. Howard said you don't tip electricians who work for you. Howard and the guys talked about how wacky tipping gets. They all had quick stories to tell about people who don't appreciate the tips they get or think they should get tipped when they shouldn't. Howard also talked about how many people are on his Christmas list and how he'll be giving gifts to about 100 people. He said everyone is getting a BethO calendar... autographed.
Howard took a call from a guy who saw part 1 of ''Hollyweird Squares'' last night and said the production values were great. Robin Radzinski from E! came in and said that part 2 airs tonight. The guy on the phone talked about some of the stuff that happened during the show with Howard.
A listener called in and asked Howard how he can get on his Christmas list. Howard said that won't happen. He said last year he gave out watches to everyone and they loved those. The guy also said he already bought one of the BethO calendars so he didn't need one for Christmas. Howard ended up talking about Beth's calendar and how she won't tell him how many she's sold so far. Visit BethO.com to get yours.
After taking a break Howard and Robin talked about last night's ''Friends.'' Howard said he thought it was a little ''gay'' and he doesn't believe the whole Phoebe and her boyfriend story. He said he doesn't believe that the guy would be into that character. That led to Howard and Robin talking about real oddball couples that they've seen or know of. Robin said you see some real oddball couples on those collector shows on TV.
Howard said he watched ''Survivor'' last night and still loves the show but they're blowing it somehow. Howard went on to say that they're always trying to confuse the viewers as to who is going to get voted off. He said when they throw someone off now you think that they had no reason for it because you don't see what caused the conflict. Howard said they voted off this chick Erin who has a huge rack. He said her boobs walk in 10 minutes before the rest of her.
Howard took a call from a guy who saw Jeff the Drunk falling down on the E! show last night and it was the funniest damn thing he'd ever seen. Howard said he was thinking of showing that at the end of every E! show because it's so funny. Robin Radzinski from E! came in and said they're showing that clip again on tonight's show. She also said they have the two female porn stars fighting and then kissing and making up on the air. Howard took some more phone calls and talked about how he could play ''Hollyweird Squares'' every day. A caller brought up how hot the porn star Devon is so that led to Howard talking about how cool it is when a hot chick is a porn star.
Howard said he slept alone last night because Beth was out at a Birthday party. He said they had sex before the party though. He went on to say that he did something romantic for Beth while they were watching ''The Bachelor'' last night. He said Beth sometimes brings up how he doesn't give her roses like the bachelor does for his women. Howard got her a dozen roses and sent them to her with a card that said something like ''will you accept this rose?'' like they do on ''The Bachelor.'' Artie thought that sounded kind of gay to him. Howard joked that his TiVo video recorder gave him a message that told him he was gay because of his choice of TV shows like Buffy and Dawson's Creek.
To get off all of that Artie said that his football pick this week is a definite winner. Howard said he got an e-mail from BetOnSports.com about the football picks. He said they are willing to bet Artie that he can't continue to pick losers for the rest of the season. They're the ones giving the $25,000 grand prize for the football pool they're holding on the show. Artie said he won't even change his pick even though he thinks it's a sure bet. He said he's going to stick with it though. BetOnSports.com is going to pay Artie $25,000 if he can continue to pick losers the rest of the season. He only has to put up $100 to win.
Howard spent some time talking to the girls about their family life and stuff like that. A listener called in and asked how he can get to see these chicks perform live. They're not doing any appearances at this time but they said they'd be returning to the area sometime soon. Howard wants to hook them up with a listener but they said they're not into other guys. Howard said he might be able to hook them up with another woman. This guy Double A called in and said that he'd take care of them better than anyone else could. The girls said no one can take care of them better than each other. One of the girls said that she was turned on by Gary when they were on the show last time. Howard thought she was confusing KC and Gary but she described Gary and it was him alright. Howard then had Gary come in to tell a doody story. Gary told this story to Stuttering John at lunch yesterday. He said he was taking a crap about 5 years ago and the doorbell rang. He answered the door without wiping and then ran back to the bathroom. On his way back to the bathroom he saw that he'd stepped in doody and tracked it all over the house. He said he must have had a ''hanger'' that must have fallen as he ran to the door. Artie said he's had moments when he's found a piece of doody that ended up in a corner of the bathroom without him even noticing. Howard just wanted to get back to the girls. He spent about 10 seconds more with them and then said he had to take a break. Artie said somehow the doody just flies up and ends up in a corner. Howard was done hearing about that so he went to commercial break.
Howard talked about his WWOR TV Show from the late 80's and how they gave Underdog lady an award one time. When she went up to accept the award she flipped out on everyone and said she couldn't accept the award. Howard played the video from that show and described what she looked like as she approached the stage. She started out calm but the more she spoke, the more pissed off she got. This was her last appearance on his show. Howard said she went off for a good 10 minutes or so and he left every bit of it in the show.
Howard took another call from a listener who said this was the funniest thing she's ever heard.
Gary let the monkey crawl all over him for a few seconds after the guys said that Artie was afraid of the thing. Artie said that's where AIDS came from so he doesn't even want to touch the thing. Gary said he didn't mind it so Howard joked that of course he doesn't mind because he's comfortable with his own kind.
Howard moved on to talk about the Victoria's Secret fashion show that happened last night. A couple of his buddies were there last night and wanted him to show up. Howard said he was in bed by 8 o'clock. Howard read an article about how some people from PETA crashed the show during Gisele Bundchen's walk on stage. Howard said the women from PETA are just what you'd expect too. He described them as ''fat, ugly, dykey looking chicks.'' He and the other guys spent a short time talking about how wacky all of that is. Howard's buddy Ross called in and told Howard the show was great. Howard said Ross got in by going through Vinnie Favale from CBS. He said Ross has been trying to get into that show for the past 3 years. Vinnie said the people who put the event together knew who Ross was because he'd been trying to get into the show for the past few years. Vinnie said he had to work last night so he didn't go.
Howard talked about the fat broads from PETA for a few seconds and said that's the only time any of them would ever be on a runway. Howard went on to talk about Vinnie and what he ate at lunch yesterday with Gary and Artie. Howard said he had 2 egg creams, a cheeseburger and chocolate cake. Vinnie had excuses for his eating but Howard goofed on him anyway. Artie said he felt like Calista Flockhart sitting next to Vinnie while he ate.
Howard and Sandi spent a little time talking about the Victoria's Secret show. Howard also asked Sandi if ugly chicks ever treat her like crap. She said she's never had a problem but Howard said he's seen ugly chicks spit on her and she just doesn't know it. Howard asked Sandi what she was wearing. She said she was naked. Howard said Sandi has done it all. She's been in Penthouse, Playboy and in a movie with Steven Seagal. He went on to ask her about what this convention is all about. She said people can bring in stuff for them to sign. She said they also have their own stuff to sign for the fans. Howard asked her what she's wearing to the event but she wasn't sure yet. She said she believes that the women have to be fully dressed at the event so they won't be wearing just thongs. Sandi told Howard that the guys can have their pictures taken with the women so he wondered what kind of poses they could do with her. She said they can put their arms around her if they want. Howard asked her if any of the girls have ever gone out with any of the fans that show up. Sandi said she never has but she's not sure about the other girls. Sandi said she'd be too afraid to do that. She and Howard spent a little more time talking about what the Glamour Con is all about before Howard wrapped up the call. Artie said he remembers Sandi's Playboy cover from June of 1995 with the American Flag bikini. She was impressed that he remembered the date. Howard thinks that Artie remembers all of the Playboy models and when they appeared. Artie said he really doesn't know them all, he just remembers a select few.
Howard took a few phone calls for Sandi and one guy told Sandi he met her years ago at an appearance she made. She signed his cast and he's bringing it with him to the event in L.A. This weekend. Sandi didn't really remember the guy but he figured she had to. Howard said it's funny how guys think that these chicks will remember them. Howard wrapped up the call a short time after the calls and talked about some other stuff before taking a break.
Howard was talking about the new TV show that E! has just announced called ''Star Dates.'' He read a press release for the show and they said they'll be following around ''celebrities'' like Dustin Diamond, Gary Coleman, Phyllis Diller and Jill Whalen as they date people. Howard said those people can't really be considered ''celebrities.'' Howard and the gang spent a couple of minutes goofing on that.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said he saw a billboard featuring Beetlejuice recently. Howard wondered what kind of money they're spending on something like that. Stuttering John said he had one when his album was released and it was only like $800 a month or so. The guys also heard that Beetlejuice and his friend Drunken Jamie want to live on top of that billboard for a while. That led to the guys talking about what kind of money Beetlejuice must make. Stuttering John said he thinks Beetle can bring in over $200,000 a year. That led to the guys talking about how obsessed John is with how much money other people make. They said that he will ask someone he barely knows how much money they make. Gary came in wondering if Howard had any idea what kind of money Stuttering John makes with all of the side jobs he has. Howard and the guys tried to figure that out and guessed that he might make over $200,000 himself. John just laughed at them and said he's not even near that. That eventually led to Howard talking about Adam Carolla after John mentioned his name while they were having the money discussion. Howard said Adam called him recently and asked him to do a phony phone call for his Comedy Central show Crank Yankers. Howard said he usually tells people to call his agent so his agent can turn them down. Howard said he decided to do it himself and broke the news to Adam that he doesn't do any other TV shows. He said he doesn't do Leno, Letterman or even special appearances for other friends of his. Adam kept trying to get him to do it but Howard kept refusing. Stuttering John said that's the last thing he'd think Howard would do anyway. He and the guys ended up talking about how Howard hasn't done any other shows in the past 5 years. That led to them talking about the old days when Howard appeared on Letterman's show. Howard has stopped appearing on that show but said that he's still welcome to go back if he needs to plug something. Howard said he doesn't talk to Letterman but he doesn't think he's an enemy of his or anything like that. Howard and the guys also talked about Howard's appearance on Jay Leno's show with the lesbians and how it drove Jay nuts. Howard said Jay actually walked off his own show that time because of what Howard had done. They eventually got back to the Beetlejuice money discussion. KC said he knows those guys and knows that they don't make anywhere near $250,000. Gary figured Beetlejuice's manager Sean probably called him and told him not to say that they make that much money. KC said he was in the studio for the whole discussion and didn't get any calls from Sean. Howard wrapped up the segment a short time later and took a break.
Howard asked Cheyenne if she's had any other plastic surgery. She said she was hesitant to even get the breast implants and won't have any other surgery. She said she went from a B cup to a C. Howard said they can't be a C, they have to be a D cup at least. She showed them to Howard to let him see just how big they were.
Howard spent a little time talking to Cheyenne about her porn career and then got Mike Walker from the National Enquirer on the phone. Mike told Howard they did a story about her one time because she was at a party down in South Beach where Britney Spears was. Cheyenne said she never saw Britney and Jenna Jameson together but that's what the story was about in the Enquirer. Howard told Cheyenne that the clothes she was wearing so he asked her to change into a bikini. Howard said she was wearing corduroy pants and they're not sexy enough for his TV show. Mike and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to her about the story but there wasn't much there. Howard went on to ask Cheyenne about her bisexuality and when she lost her virginity. She told him she lost it at 13. Howard said she was a young squaw at 13. He wondered if she got laid at the reservation. She said no. Howard found out her first movie ''The Second Cumming'' was the first time she had lesbian sex. She said she's done guy-girl movies and girl-girl movies since then.
Howard wondered if Cheyenne's family is upset about what she does for a living. She said he was upset in the beginning but he e-mailed her recently and told her he's very proud of her and she's the best daughter he could ever have.
Gary asked Cheyenne about some stuff he heard about her. He thought that she dated some guy who was way too old for her when she was 14. She said she had a quick fling with a 21 year old but it wasn't that long. She said she lived in a place where they didn't have many neighbors so she spent a lot of time at home pleasuring herself. She said she'd do it 3-4 times a day and the shower head was her favorite toy. She also told Howard she enjoys anal sex but finds it hard to do on film because she's too tense.
Howard asked her if she shaves her private parts completely. She said she leaves some hair down there because she doesn't like the landing strip or the completely shaved look.
Artie asked Cheyenne to yell out ''WOO, WOO, WOO'' with her hand patting over her mouth while she was changing into her bathing suit. Howard said he wanted to see how she shaves down below. When she changed Howard said she looked fine down there. Howard also noticed that she had a lot of bruises on her body. She said it's from dancing at clubs and going up and down on stage.
Howard moved on to the Gossip Game to get that out of the way. Here's how it goes: Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
