Comedian Richard Jeni (RichardJeni.com) was sitting in this morning so Howard spent a few minutes talking to him before taking the first break of the morning. After the break Howard said he likes to have a lot of heavy rock music playing when he gets back because it makes it sound like they have something going on. Richard Jeni said it's like the HBO theme music they play before a movie and then it turns out to be something like ''Porky's 2.'' Since Richard mentioned a bad movie Howard then spent a couple of minutes talking about how bad ''Superman 4'' was and how he almost refused to watch it just because Christopher Reeve had a hand in writing it.
Howard brought up last Friday's vacation day and how Howard went out and spent the weekend at Dominic Barbara's house on Shelter Island. He said it's very weird to use the guy's house because he begs him to use it. Then Howard said he noticed that Dominic keeps all kinds of video tapes of his show all over the house. Richard Jeni said maybe Dominic even has hidden cameras taping Howard while he stays there.
Howard complained about Dominic's many remote controls and how he had about 12 of them plus one universal remote that didn't work correctly. Howard said he got pissed and threw all of the remotes on the floor because he got so pissed. He said that Dominic needs to get someone in there to do all of this stuff correctly. The guy has plenty of money to get it done right so he should be able to have a remote that works right. Howard also complained that Dominic has stick-free pans that are all scraped up from metal utensils. Howard bought a new one because he doesn't like metal scrapings in his cooked eggs. He also had to buy new scrubby sponges because Dominic hasn't replaced them in ''15 years'' Howard says. Howard also said that he and his girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to a loud banging sound. Howard had to get up in the middle of the night to find out what it was. It turned out to be the pump for the pool that was causing problems and Howard had to go down to a dark, wet basement to figure out how to shut it down. It was one big nightmare for him. He said he's never going there again because there were horseflies biting him while he was laying out in the sun.
Dominic called in and defended all of these things that Howard complained about but Howard says he's not going back there. He went on to complain about everything that went wrong and how Dominic needs to fix up this house of his. He also complained about the ferry that he had to take out to the island. There was enough to complain about to kill a half hour worth of show this morning. Howard ended up thanking Dominic for letting him stay out there anyway. Even after all of the complaining Howard said he had a nice weekend away from the city.
Howard spent a few minutes discussing the movie's that were out this weekend. Stuttering John does a voice in the new movie ''Osmosis Jones '' but Robin said he was barely in the thing. John said he read 100 lines for the movie but only about 3 made it in.
Howard also mentioned that there was an article in the NY Post about how Jackie wants to come back to the show but Howard won't let him. Howard said that it's really sad to read this stuff because Jackie was the one who walked out on them. Howard said they (the radio station) begged Jackie to stay but he walked off the show when they refused to give him more money than they offered him. Howard said he's not mad at Jackie but they've moved on and made commitments to other people since he left. He's not going to change anything. Howard thinks that the shows have been great since Jackie left but he has no hard feelings toward the guy. Howard went on to read the article on the air and commented on the whole situation for a little while. Howard continued to talk about how Jackie hanged himself, it wasn't Howard who kicked him off the show or anything like that. Howard did say that his boss, Mel Karmazin, always wanted Jackie gone because he was tired of all of his ''bull.''
Howard said that he told Jackie he was making a mistake walking off the show and now it's hitting the Joke Man that Howard was right. Howard had to point out that Jackie was the one who walked off over and over again because Jackie seems to be trying to make it seem like they kicked him off the show and wouldn't take him back when he refused to sign the new contract. Tom Chiusano was in the studio to give his side of the story also. He said they offered Jackie a substantial raise but Jackie wanted more than they were willing to give. He also said they told Jackie that if he didn't take the offer, it was off the table and that was that. Howard said at some point in your life you have to realize you have a great thing going and just stick with it. Jackie was 53 when he walked off the show and he should have realized he had it made. Now it's too late. Howard said he may do the same thing in four years when his contract is up for renewal again. He has a good thing going but he may decide to go ''punch up scripts'' like Jackie wanted to. Then, if he leaves, he may realize that he made the biggest mistake of his life. By then it'll be too late to do anything about it.
Everyone in the studio said they all feel bad for Jackie. Howard, Stuttering John and Robin all feel the same way. Fred remained oddly quiet during the conversation though. Gary and John asked if there's a chance that Jackie could ever come back and sit in his old chair again someday. Howard said it's best of they don't do that and just go on with the show. He continued to say that he has no hard feelings toward Jackie though.
On a side note, John asked Howard if he's going to come back in 4 years when his contract is up. Howard said he doesn't know what he's going to do but it looks like he may be done with radio. The whole industry has changed since he started in radio and he thinks he may be done with it. Gary also pointed out that Howard's personal life has changed a lot since he started also so that may affect his career moves.
Fred finally said something when someone mentioned how quiet he'd remained during this conversation. Fred just blurted out ''He made his bed now let him lay in it!'' He's just as fed up with hearing about it over and over again as Howard is so he didn't want to waste any more time talking about it. Howard ended the conversation shortly after that.
That play is what got Howard interested in this guy's story. David said that after his father, who is a Rabbi, read the play he had David committed to a mental institution. David said he flew into L.A. one day after working in Miami and his father was there with two bodyguards who told him to come along peaceably or they'd have to take him by force. He was then committed to a mental hospital where they tried to make him take drugs. David said his lawyer sister was able to get him out when she threatened his father with a lawsuit. Howard found all of this fascinating. According to David there's a law in California that says a family member can have you committed to a mental institution for 72 hours if they tell a psychologist that you're mental.
David went through his TV show history with Howard talking about how Ellen just fired him after he put in 3 years of hard work for her. He said she never called him after she had him fired by the head of the company they were working for. He also bad mouthed Michael J. Fox who no one ever bad mouths. Howard said he's never heard anyone say a bad word about Fox. David said that he was a really demanding guy when they'd be writing scripts for ''Spin City'' and he'd make them throw away thousands of man hours worth of script and start from scratch in the middle of producing a show. David called Michael the ''great pretender'' but he also said he was very brave the way he has suffered through his health problems while working on ''Spin City.''
Howard told David that he doesn't think he's mental but he is kind of ''hard to take'' when you talk to him. He's kind of annoying when you talk to him. David admitted that he's hard to take but he doesn't really seem to care. David also told Howard that the only reason he ever went to Hollywood was to write and to bang models. He said he didn't do it for the money but he realized you need a lot of money to get models. Howard wrapped up the interview after taking a couple of phone calls for David. A few of the callers said they didn't want to hear about this guy's life so they wanted Howard to just get him off the air already.
Stuttering John also asked Howard if he's ever had any nose work done because it looks like something was taken out of it. Howard said he thought about having a nose job but that never happened either. John ended up telling Howard that he's actually aged pretty well.
Richard told Howard he needs his Starbucks coffee in the morning but he ended up getting coffee from some guy on the street corner today. He now realizes that Starbucks is the best.
Howard mentioned that someone started a rumor on the web about this kid who got his arm bitten off by a shark down in Florida. The rumor says that the uncle who saved the kid was actually fishing for sharks when the kid was attacked. It's just a rumor but now officials are trying to track down whoever sent the e-mail to find out if there's any truth to it. Howard compared that to the article he talked about on the show yesterday where Howard was said to have purchased a Mercedes-Benz for a stripper at Scores. He never did that but reporter Neal Travis didn't check his story and now it looks like Howard is a ''poon tang hound'' as he put it. Howard is upset that his kids might see a story like that and think that he actually bought some stripper a $60,000 car. He thinks he could have a lawsuit on his hands.
Howard brought up the Jackie story he talked about yesterday also. He said that after his rant this reporter John Mainelli (NY Post) wrote an article today and made it seem like Howard was attacking Jackie on the show yesterday. He did nothing like that though. He just said that Jackie left and that was that. Howard had to defend himself against this article because it made it look like Howard was being really harsh on Jackie when he really wasn't.
Howard moved on to talk about Rush Limbaugh and how he's thinking of taking a job with CNN. Howard put out the word to CNN to avoid this loser and went on to goof on Limbaugh for looking like and old ''geek'' who's a couple of years older than Howard. Howard continued to goof on Rush for a few minutes talking about what a shill he is for the republican party.
Howard complained about his TiVo this morning cutting off the last few minutes of ''Sex and the City'' last night. It's not the TiVounit's fault though. Howard just doesn't know how to set it up correctly to record an extra couple of minutes. He wished that the TiVorecorded an extra 3 minutes all by itself (it can do that) so he wouldn't miss the last minute or so of the shows he watches if they run over time for some reason. Stuttering John said he had the same problem but the show reruns tonight so Howard can just record it again and catch the scenes he missed.
Howard said he just read that Jaime Bergman from ''Son of the Beach'' is engaged to David Boreanis from the TV show ''Angel.'' Howard said he doesn't think they'll ever get married but he wished them luck anyway. He thinks that there are a lot of engagements in the Hollywood crowd that never get that far... and David has been divorced one time already. He'd be nuts to get married again.
A caller got Howard back on the subject of Jackie the Joke Man once again even though he said he was done with the whole thing. He just ended up going over everything that he mentioned on yesterday's show. Howard told one caller that if Jackie invited him to a party at his house he would go. He has to continue to say that he has no problem with Jackie. He just had to move along with the show.
Howard mentioned that Gilbert will be appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club in New York City tomorrow night. He also said that Gilbert plays a paper clip in an upcoming Microsoft commercial. He's also in a movie that Britney Spears appears in. Gilbert said he didn't get to hang out with her though. He also appears regularly on ''Hollywood Squares.''
Gilbert Gottfried and Richard Jeni hung out and livened up Robin's news segment with their impressions which included Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon, Jimmy Stewart, Kelsey Grammer, Camille Grammer (with her Irritable Bowel Syndrome farts) and a few others. The two of them actually worked together very well.
Howard spent a little bit of time reading facts about guest Fabio who was coming in later this morning. He had a whole list of stuff about the guy's background that he read through.
Howard also read an article about public pools and how filthy they are. Howard said he's always stayed away from public pools and this article from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) says that there are bacteria and parasites that can make you very sick. The article advises you about what to look for in a public pool. You should be able to see clearly down to the bottom without seeing anything floating on top or any hazy look to it. They also suggest not swallowing any of the water in the pool. Stuttering John came in to talk about his pool which doesn't use chlorine. He said his uses copper, silver ionization or something like that. Gary came in and got in on the conversation because he uses a country club pool that he doesn't see as a ''public'' pool.
Howard changed subjects and talked about the story in the paper the other day that said Howard bought a stripper a $60,000 Mercedes-Benz. Howard is now saying that he may sue the reporter because it's a lie. The reporter, Neal Travis, refuses to come on the show to discuss the story and who the stripper was. Howard said he's not allowed to spread rumors about anyone without getting in trouble so why should Neal Travis be allowed to do it. Howard took a phone call from a woman who said she knows of a woman who got a new car and no one knew how she got it so the rumor was that Howard bought it for her. The woman never said that Howard bought it for her, it was just assumed. Howard thinks this whole thing is just stupid and unbelievable.
Howard's name was used in the TV show ''The Weakest Link'' again so Howard played the clip of the question. It was about which beauty pageant was the same name as Howard's second book... ''Miss America'' and the contestant was able to answer the question no problem.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the various reality TV shows that are coming out in the near future and he doesn't think many of them are going to do well. That's when Robin made a big announcement... She's going to do the next edition of Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire! She doesn't know any of the details yet but she will be on the special comedy edition of the show. Howard thinks it'll be Robin and people like Gilbert Gottfried. Howard doesn't think that Robin should do the show for charity. He thinks they should make up a charity and give the show his address to take the money Robin wins. She says she's going to play the game like it's her own money.
Howard also brought up a phony article that someone had put out about how guys staring at breasts for 10 minutes a day can help extend your life. It was put out as a serious article but it was soon exposed to be a phony article. Speaking of phony articles, Gary came in and said that Neal Travis was on the phone. Neal is the guy who wrote an article in his gossip column about Howard buying a Mercedes-Benz for a Scores stripper. Howard wanted to know Neal's source and how he thinks he can just print a false story without finding out if the story was true or not. Neal said that he was told by a couple of people that this stripper was going around claiming that Howard bought her this car. He called Howard's agent and tried to get a denial but Don Buchwald didn't return his call so he went with the story. Howard told Neal that it's his job as a journalist to find out if the story is true or not and he didn't do that for this story. Neal used the excuse that he's a gossip columnist to try and get out of it. Howard wouldn't accept that as an answer though. He demanded that Neal find out if this woman is for real and whether or not she actually works for Scores. Even Lonnie Hanover from Scores called in and said that he wants to know who this stripper is also because he doesn't know of any that claim Howard gave them a car. Neal said he's going to check into the story today and print a retraction tomorrow if it turns out to be a false story.
Early on in the interview Howard said that he thinks Fabio was created by Hitler to be the ''perfect man'' and they joked about that through the whole segment. Fabio was even telling Howard that he has kept up his looks over the years too. He also kept referring to Robin and her beautiful breasts over and over again through the interview. Craig Gass' ''Sam Kinison'' was also in screaming about what a perfect guy Fabio was and how he doesn't have to be known for anything other than just being ''Fabio.''
Fabio is so good looking according to Howard that he thinks he could sell his sperm for $10,000 a pop if he wanted to. Robin said she'd even take some of that. Fabio said he'd do Robin for free though.
Howard said that Fabio wasn't allowed to come on the show for the past 3 years because the ''I Can't Believe it's not Butter'' company people wouldn't let him do the show. Now he's moved on and he's allowed back on the show. He said that company was very conservative and they just didn't want him doing Howard's show. Howard also brought up the incident where Fabio was riding a roller coaster and was hit in the face by a goose while doing about 70 miles per hour. People said it was a miracle that he lived because the goose weighed about 30 pounds. Howard said he survived because he was ''...manufactured by Hitler to be the perfect man!'' Fabio said he was upset with the people that owned the amusement park because they should have done something about the ride because it went over a pond where hundreds of geese lived. It was just a matter of time before someone got smashed by a goose. ''Sam Kinison'' theorized that to get back at the geese, Fabio went back to the park and had sex with all of them.
Howard questioned Fabio about his age because there were two different ages given for him when they did their research. He was either 40 of 42 and Fabio admitted that he's 42. That's what it says on his driver's license. His passport says he's 40 for some reason. We also learned that he is uncircumcised after Howard asked him about that. He said he's had no problem with that through his life and Howard told him he wished his parents had left him uncircumcised also.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Fabio but no one had much of anything to say. One woman said Fabio invited her back to his apartment but nothing happened because she was married. Her whole story was pointless other than to say that Fabio was a nice guy.
Howard found out that Fabio has an older brother and a younger sister so he wanted to find out if their looks are as good as Fabio's. Fabio said they're just fine and his sister is prettier than he is. Gary heard that his brother looks like fat Benjy the intern/writer. Fabio just said both of his siblings are just fine though.
Howard wrapped up the interview asking Fabio about the ''love of his life'' that he lost. Fabio said he loved a woman by the name of Jennifer but he blew it with the relationship and he's hoping that he'll get a second chance with her someday. Fabio also told Howard that he's working behind the scenes in some animated TV programs instead of doing the modeling thing.
Katherine, who is about 30 years younger than Sal, told Howard that they still have sex quite often. She said she calls Sal ''Long Tongue'' or ''Tongue Fu'' because he's so good in bed. Sal said they have sex ''almost every day... almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday...''
Sal told a couple of stories about his son and said hello to his 4 daughters and a couple of other people before Howard wrapped up the call. Howard found out that Al only comes to see his father about once a year. Howard put the word out to Al that if it weren't for his father's sperm he wouldn't be on this earth so he should start calling his father more often. He demanded that Al call his father at least 2 times a week.
Howard also mentioned that Richard Simmons, who does this ''Silver Foxes'' work out video was too much of a pussy to come on the show himself to promote it.
Howard said that Gary was out sick this morning. He joked that he's probably sick from swimming in public pools because they had a big discussion about that on yesterday's show. They'd joked around by a bacteria that they were pronouncing ''cock-sackie'' during the whole show yesterday so Howard said that Gary probably got a case of ''cock-sackie'' after swimming in his local pool.
Howard was back on the subject of Neal Travis and the story that was written about Howard buying a stripper a Mercedes-Benz. Howard is still talking about how it effects his life because people are still asking him about the story like there's some truth to it. Howard said people look at him differently now and it's very disturbing to him. After the show yesterday Lonnie Hanover from Scores said they checked their records after Neal Travis gave him the name of the stripper. Lonnie said no one by that name ever worked at Scores. Today Travis gave a bit of a retraction but now he blames Howard and his agent for not returning his calls about the story. He's also laughing off the whole thing like it wasn't a big deal. Howard says the whole newspaper's credibility is now questionable. He says if they can make up something like that and get away with it, then what's stopping them from doing it with all of their stories? Howard said he's not laughing and he's still thinking of suing their asses for printing that story to begin with.
Howard said he had a dream about Jackie last night and it was very bizarre. In the dream Jackie was talking like he'd had a stroke or something. He went on to explain the dream which was really odd. Howard said he found out he was eating pizza right before it ended. Stuttering John tried to interpret the dream saying that pizza is guilt that Howard feels for Jackie and Jackie not being able to speak is the fact that Jackie thinks that Howard has taken away his ''voice'' from the show. Howard told John he's the worst dream interpreter he's ever heard. Robin is usually the interpreter but she couldn't come up with her views right away without thinking about it for a while. Jessica Hahn called in and said she thinks the whole dream is actually Howard's pleasure and the fact that he thinks he did the right thing. Everyone's got their own views on dream interpretation and it's all nonsense.
Howard somehow got on the subject of how strange hot chicks are. He was talking about Carmen Electra and Pamela Anderson and how they're always getting engaged and separated and back together with abusive partners and crap like that. Big Black called in and Howard ended up trying to tell a story about hanging out with Pamela Anderson at Scores. Big Black made some weird comments about Howard and then Howard had to go off on him for a couple of minutes. He talked about how Big Black is scamming his credit card companies by transferring money between cards because he's out of work and owes about $60,000 to them. Howard said they almost gave him a job one time but now he's glad they never did. Howard got back to Pam told the story where he was at Scores with Pam and a couple of her co-stars from the ''V.I.P.'' TV show. Howard said that he had Pam hanging all over him and they almost started making out but his buddy Ralph ended up rubbing Pam's leg and ruined the moment. Howard thought that he could have gotten a little farther with her but he knows that she's not all that into him so it wouldn't have gone too far. Everyone wanted to know why he didn't try harder to get her because it would have been a major score for him. He said it was a lot of work just to get as far as he got and it would have been even more to get any further. KC came in and started asking Howard if he'd bang Pam if she was dead and covered in slugs and weird stuff like that. Howard said he'd still do her if she was dead but the slugs may be too gross for him. Howard also said he thinks that Pam is going to be ''hitting the wall'' not too far in the future so that was also discussed for a few minutes.
Howard said everyone was discussing Pam during a break and they were all saying that the reason Pam is hot is because of that home video that everyone saw where Tommy Lee is banging her. It's hard to take home video of yourself and look good but Pam is like the perfect woman in that video according to Stuttering John and Howard. They spent a while talking about that and goofing on how Tommy Lee used his penis to do all kinds of stuff in the video.
Howard gave a quick plug to the E! True Hollywood Story that's on this Sunday. It's the one where they profile the ''Growing Pains'' TV show people. Howard talked about what a Jesus-freak Kirk Cameron became and how he hasn't worked much since he got that ''Jesus thing'' going. Howard has seen this episode of the E! True Hollywood Story and it's worth checking out.
Croy has been on the show many times in the past talking about her ''stolen architecture.'' Today she showed up with a broken arm and a confession to make about her age. In the past she's said that she's only 29 years old. Today she said she discovered she's actually 56. She found this out when she fell and broke her arm. She said she lost her balance in her high heels and broke her arm. She started to talk about her architecture again but at one point she just broke down and started to cry for some reason. Then she called Howard ''cheap'' for not giving her more than $500 for her exclusive story that she gave sometime in the past. Howard and KC had no idea what she was talking about though. He's never given her any money. He said they just let her come on the show to talk about whatever she wants to. She told Howard she was mad at him and that's why she was on the show today. Then she just walked out of the studio. Howard had no idea what just happened. Robin wondered if she banged her head when she fell and broke her arm.
Howard then brought in this guitar player Lavorsier. Pronounced la-voor-see-AY. He had his girlfriend Samantha with him and he wanted to play some of his music for Howard. He wants a record deal so he came in to play for all of the record company guys who listen to the show. Howard let him play his first song ''Sun Kissed Girl'' for about 30 seconds. Howard wasn't sure if the guy was tuning his guitar or playing a song at first. Then he started to sing and it sounded pretty awful. Howard wouldn't tell the guy that though. He told him it was ''Uh, different.'' He told him it's a new sound that he just doesn't get but a younger generation might get it. Artie Lange said he got it and liked it. It had a little (very little) bit of a Jimi Hendrix sound to it but it was more like a 12 year old learning to play in his garage Hendrix sound than a guy who has been playing for 15 or 20 years. Lavorsier played another song of his, ''Nasty'', which had a more rockin' sound to it but, once again, sounded like a kid learning to play in his garage. Howard took a couple of phone calls from the audience to find out what they thought. The few calls he took didn't have anything good to say about it. One caller claimed to be John from Epic Records and he said there might be something there. We don't know if he was a legitimate caller though.
Lavorsier's girlfriend had some stuff to say about Stuttering John before she left. She said she hates John and that she almost vomits when she sees him on the E! show. Apparently John has been keeping them from getting on the show for years now and she was upset over it. John didn't seem to care though. He came in and let her vent on him before Howard wrapped up the segment.
Yucko the Clown was coming up later in the show so Howard played some tape from yesterday's show where Yucko bad mouthed the Jews and a bunch of ethnic groups. He's supposed to apologize for that later on.
Howard is still talking about the whole Neal Travis controversy. Neal wrote an article about Howard buying a stripper a Mercedes-Benz when he really didn't. Howard wanted a retraction printed but Neal ended up basically calling Howard a cry baby instead. Howard announced that Neal would be on later in the show but a listener called in and told Howard we're sick of hearing about it already.
Howard has been trying to get a hold of this shoe made by Diesel but they don't carry it in the size that Howard needs. Someone from the company showed up today claiming they had the show he wants but Howard had to say ''hi'' to them. Gary brought the shoe in to show Howard but it was the wrong one so he had Gary kick them out. He came back in and said it takes 2 months to make the shoe Howard wants. Howard just wants this one sneaker that's almost out of season because of the open design.
Howard got back to the Marilyn Manson story he was talking about earlier in the show. He read the article and said Manson came up behind a body guard and spit on his head and was rubbing his private parts when he wrapped himself around the guy. Howard said that spitting on the guy was really wrong and then he retold the story about how Marilyn was rubbing his knee when he hung out with him one night. A listener called in and said that he knows Marilyn isn't gay because he hung out with him backstage one night. The listener thinks that Marilyn just does this stuff to get press because he's a marketing genius just like Howard is. Howard said that if that makes a marketing genius then he's willing to give up the title to him.
Late in the show yesterday Howard commented on how veterinarians are lower on his scale of importance than doctors and dentists. Today a woman called in and asked Howard where chiropractors fall on his list. Howard gave his list once again:
Howard and Gary ended up getting into a fight after Gary told Howard he was starting to get his father's tone when he was explaining something to him. Howard then went off on Gary's father and they yelled at each other for talking about each other's fathers.
Howard tried to get into the game but contestant number one, John the Stutterer, had a problem with this guy James who is a paraplegic. Apparently the two of them got into an altercation in the green room. John tried to explain what happened but he was stuttering up a storm so bad it took him 5 minutes to get the story out. He said that James had asked him if he wanted to have sex with him and then he defended Yucko the clown about being a child molester so John called him a ''fag'' and they got into an argument. Howard kept interrupting John so he kept stuttering more and more and kept starting his sentences over again and again. It was crazy.
Howard said John the Stutterer's problem was obvious to everyone so he didn't need to explain much more about why he should win this game. The second contestant was this guy James who's in a wheelchair. He ended up telling Howard he'd forfeit the win to Yucko the Clown because he can't feel anything below his waist anyway. The only reason he was on the show was to find funding for a vehicle he could drive with his mouth like he does with his wheelchair.
The third contestant was this 21 year old virgin Alex who is just over weight. He says he tries everything to lose weight and get chicks but he just can't do it. He even has some big man-boobs that look really odd because he doesn't have any chest hair. Everyone said he looks like a chick.
After quickly going through each one of the contestants Howard made his decision and had everyone else convinced of the same conclusion. Alex is young and good looking enough to get a chick on his own if he just tries a little harder. James the paraplegic doesn't want the win so he's out too. Howard said that even though John the Stutterer has gotten laid once in his life, there's little chance of that happening again. So it was a unanimous vote for John the Stutterer to win the trip to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch bordello. John the Stutterer was stuttering and stammering up a storm like he's rarely done in past appearances. He seemed to be upset about the whole name calling thing with James which made his stutters longer and more intense than usual.
Dixie Cupps ended up getting naked to show the losers what they lost out on. She had giant breasts and a tattoo of a banjo on her ass according to what everyone was saying. She said she's a country girl and that's why she got the banjo tattoo. John the Stutterer said that he's going to have sex with her if he can when he gets out to the Bunny Ranch.
Howard then got into the game with Robin and asked her a bunch of these questions from ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire.'' Robin was doing okay but she had to use her ''lifelines'' on a couple of questions but she got up to the $250,000 question before she ran out. She used the last one, her phone-a-friend on a question about a 1941 book question. Fred was her ''friend'' and he didn't know the answer so he gave Robin his best guess. Robin went with it anyway and ended up blowing the game because she went with Fred's guess. Of course she says she wouldn't have risked it if she were actually on the show and she had $125,000 at stake. Everyone thinks she would have gone for it no matter what though.
Howard moved on to play the game so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard kept Beetlejuice around for a few minutes and took some phone calls for him. Drunken Jamie called in and had a short chat with Beet about ''Scary Movie 2'' and how Beet was paid a measly $50,000 for doing the movie.
A couple of people tried to get Beet all riled up by goofing on him but Beet just let it go and told them to get lost. Howard wrapped up the interview talking about the Beetle-mobile on eBay.com. There's a big picture of Beetlejuice on the hood of the car and the starting bids are around $20,000. Howard asked Beet what kind of car it was but all Beetle knew was that it was the Beetle-mobile. Check out JollyDwarf.com for more info about Beetlejuice.