Howard also said that he was at the house that used to be his for his daughter's birthday. Ashley turns 7 today but they celebrated yesterday. That's when his mother brought up Jackie's face lift theory.
Howard spent a little bit of time talking about the ''Golden Globe Awards'' that he watched yesterday. He brought up Mariah Carey and said that she looked really great. This is a little different than his thoughts last week when he called her a pig after saying how chubby she was. He then revealed that she sent him a birthday note last week. That's probably why he changed his tune.
Howard had some tape of homeless people that he wanted Robin to hear. He wanted her to pick out the funniest one. Howard played about 6 clips. Each one had a homeless person either rambling about Howard or singing something unintelligible. Most of them were pretty funny.
Howard moved on and played this one call from the Touch Tone Terroists CD that was pretty funny. The call was a woman looking for a package she was supposed to get from a delivery service. The call sounded kind of set up because it sounded like she made the call to them and they just goofed on her. They told her that one of the mail room guys may have set fire to her package. They transferred her to the guy and he pretended to be a drunk guy. She then demanded to speak to his supervisor and they transferred her again. She then went on to yell at the ''supervisor'' about the other guy being drunk. He told her it was a Saturday and she should give the guy a break. The call went on for a couple of minutes. Howard and the gang thought it was pretty funny.
The subject of Stuttering John came up during the various discussions. Gary said that John looks like Bozo the clown today because his hair has grown so long and he didn't wash it this morning. He slept on it last night so it just sticks out two feet in each direction. Then we learned that John has become buddies with some of the parking attendants where he parks his car every day. He's such good friends with them that he actually borrows money from them. Howard spent a couple of minutes trying to figure that one out. John says he's invited the guy to his parties and even hung out with him at a Billy Joel concert. He gave the guy tickets to the concert as a tip one time.
The conversation soon changed to childhood masturbation. Howard brought up how he tried to masturbate when he was around 9 but he just ended up peeing all over his parents bed. Gary said the first time he went off was with a wet dream. Stuttering John said when he was young he used to mark on a calendar when he did it and had to limit it to one time a week. Sometimes we learn a little too much.
Howard then moved on and let Janks play his call. Janks called the local Philadelphia FOX TV station during a recent snow storm and pretended to be a D.O.T. official. He told the anchors that the road crews were clearing off the snowy roads so people could be home in time to see the Howard Stern show. The one anchor ended the call and pointed out that it wasn't the D.O.T. official, it was Captain Janks. Check out Janks' web site to hear the call yourself.
Howard then replayed some of the Touch Tone Terroists phony phone calls that he played yesterday.
Howard also said he watched Who Wants to be a Millionaire last night. He brought up this one kid Dan Doody who screwed up a fairly easy question. It was ''What state has the motto 'Live Free or Die'?'' The dude asked the audience and 51% of them picked New Hampshire as the correct answer. Doody's logic told him otherwise and he ended up going for Massachusetts. Even Howard knew that the correct answer was New Hampshire.
After the game Howard spent a little while talking to Joe Cancer. Joe's not plugging anything because he doesn't have anything to plug. The only appearance he's making is at his home. He doesn't even have a job. Howard tried to talk him in to getting a job bagging groceries or something. Joe doesn't really think he wants to do that though. Howard then said that they had this gymnast chick who wants breast implants and she's willing to do anything for them. He thought that maybe he could get her to do something to Joe. A bronsky was suggested but then Howard thought that maybe she could lick his cancer hole instead.
Erica came in later in the show but they still hadn't decided on what to do with her. They had her doing some gymnastic stunts and stuff in the mean time. They were running out of time because it was after 10 so they told her to come back Monday and they have her do something bizarre.
Then Howard got around to the story that he was taking the call for. LL explained to Howard how he had this camp for underprivileged kids. He would take kids from around the country and send them to this camp at a cost of $300-500 per kid. His cousin was handling the finances and last year he decided to take a year off from it. His cousin allegedly didn't take the break. According to LL she kept it going but no kids went to camp so she allegedly took some money that wasn't hers. He didn't want to talk about it too much because he's going to bring her to court over the whole thing. Howard wrapped things up after that discussion.
Sal had also prepared a song about Gary to play live this morning. Sal picked up a guitar and played a song parody to the Foo Fighters ''Everlong''. His guitar playing was surprisingly good. Of course the parody was about Gary's breath and how it smells like a monkey's ass. It was pretty funny but Howard put a stop to it pretty quick. Gary said he wasn't going to fight with Sal anymore today, he'd just let Sal's new music speak for itself. Howard then played one of Facial's songs. It sounded kind of like a mix of Anthrax, Limp Bizkit and Iron Maiden. The first words of the song were ''Twinkle twinkle little star'' and it didn't get much better than that.
Everyone agreed that the song sucked. Howard took a bunch of phone calls and everyone pretty much hated the song also. Sal brushed it off saying that he expected everyone to hate it because that's the nature of the show. He said that he's had some positive feedback about the music from a couple of record people so he doesn't care what they say on the show. Howard didn't really say much at first so Sal had to ask him what he thought. Howard basically said it was pretty bad. You can find out more about Sal's band at FacialBand.com