Howard started the show talking about how they're there for another week. He said he'd rather be sitting in his house. He said the idea of coming in there is too much to bear. Robin said he did it to himself. Howard said just let him be miserable. Robin said it's early to be telling them he hates it. Howard said he just spent 45 minutes staring at Baba Booey.
Howard asked Robin about coffee. He said he was making coffee yesterday and he has one of those Keurig things. Howard said it has little cups. He said that he made two of those cups. Howard said he has to make two of those to make one cup. He likes it strong. Howard said by accident he had green mountain coffee hazelnut. Howard said he figured it was loaded with sugar. He said it smelled great and tasted great. He said he looked it up online and they say it has no additional sugar. Robin said it's the nut itself that has that quality. Robin said if you're not a big sugar person then you'll get that sweetness.
Howard asked if Robin ever put that hazelnut in her ass. Robin said she did not. She said she used a dark coffee. Howard said he looked up Starbucks and they have hazelnut syrup but he doesn't want sugar. Howard asked why they don't have it without calories. Robin said she has no idea. Robin said she tried to drink a Starbucks the other day and she doesn't get why he likes that bitterness. Howard said he wants that Green Mountain stuff. He said he doesn't want the syrup.
Gary said he can make it right now. He said they have a coffee machine there and they have a pod. Robin said it's the water that goes through filters. Howard said it's the shit water from the tap. Gary asked why he thinks they do a better job cleaning at stores. Howard said someone just wrote him a note saying the Keurig machine is disgusting there. Will came in and told Howard it's always covered in coffee grinds and it's filthy. He said he wouldn't touch it.
Howard asked where the water comes from. Robin said it has pipes coming into it. Howard said it's gross. Robin said that it heats the water that's in it. Howard said there are people who have auto hot water and that's disgusting too. Howard asked Will how he would get this coffee without syrup. Will said they have to get a Keurig of his own.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should research this because it's releasing carcinogens when the hot water goes through the plastic. Howard said he has a good point.
The caller also said that Jeff the Drunk shouldn't be competing with him on Periscope while the show is going. Howard said he's right. He said let the best man win.
Howard said he got a note saying that Beetlejuice used the Keurig machine when he was there. Gary said he didn't put a cup there and the water went all over the place. Sal came in and told Howard that the Starbucks stuff is disgusting too. He said Howard should get his own Keurig. He said he can use bottled water in it. Howard said he doesn't have time to do that. He said he can't be doing that on his own. Howard said that this caller is saying the cup thing is releasing carcinogens. He said that he has a universal cup made of aluminum that doesn't have plastic in it. He said he'd have his own cup to use. He said that's an option. Fred said it's not as good. He said what Sal is suggesting isn't as good. He said it's horrible. Sal said it isn't as strong.
Fred said they say there is no BPA in those K-Cups so he should be fine. He said that the Green Mountain people have said it's okay too. Howard said he may have met the guy who owns that company.
Howard asked if Sal gained weight. Sal said he gained like 6 pounds. He said they were making fun of his tits in the meeting. He said his tits get big when he gains weight.
Howard asked if Sal is on Weight Watchers. Sal said he is and asked how he knows. Howard said someone told him. He said Sal can't lose 6 ponds without weight watchers? He said he can do it by cutting his portions in half. Howard said he read that Green Mountain has artificial flavors. He said he has to stop using it.
Howard had Beetlejuice do an announce for their guest Gary the Conqueror. Howard said today is his sweet 16 because his birthday is on leap year February 29. Howard had a sweet 16 song parody for him. Howard said he kept calling asking if he could come in so he's coming in today. He said they have some things they can do today. He said they have a smart chair and things like that.
Howard said Robert Smigel is coming in today. He said he's the guy behind Ambiguously Gay Duo and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Howard said he's got a new Hulu show coming out. Howard said Netflix at first but Gary corrected him.
Howard said they have some celebrity birthday wishes for Gary. He played a couple that they edited to sound like they were for Gary but were actually for Howard.
Howard said he has a phony phone call the guys made to a classic record shop where they sell vinyl. Howard said he's been saying it's a waste of time and the boys cut up his voice and made the call. Howard played the call where they had Howard telling the guy at the vinyl place that he likes his iPod and how much of a pain in the ass vinyl records are. They had Howard telling the guy it's a waste of time and douchy. The guy at the shop went back and forth over that for a few minutes. They went to break after that.
Gary said that Ben McKenzie is on the Wrap Up Show today. Howard said he is fantastic. Howard said he's married to the hot chick on that show. He said that's his real wife. Gary said they're dating. Howard said she's pregnant with his baby. Howard asked when that happened. Howard said they should be married. Howard said you're supposed to get married and jerk off a lot. He said that's the way life is.
Howard said Ben was in the show Southland and he was fantastic in that too. Howard said he's very talented. Howard said he's really good. Howard said everyone is good in Gotham. Howard said Pee Wee Herman is in it this year too. Howard said everyone in it is good. Howard said they don't let you suck in that show.
Howard said he saw the new Sacha Baron Cohen movie (The Brothers Grimsby) too. He said that's really good. He said it's really funny. He said he was laughing so hard and the movie is so stupid. Howard said it's a really stupid movie and there's no redeeming aspect to it. He said it's great. Howard said it's ridiculous. He said it's his kind of movie. He said he loves that guy.
Howard said he has great bands on his play list and that's the stuff they suggest. He said they think that's what he would like. He said he thinks the algorithm is a scam. Howard said probably everyone has the same discover. Robin said that's what other services say they have suggestions too and they might do it the same way.
Howard said they also said he'd like Justify and Ancient Radio Edit. Howard said he wrote notes and he can't even read his own notes. He said that Beetlejuice likes better music. He played the new Beet song and said this is better than that suggestion. Howard had Fred look up Justify ''Ancient (radio edit)'' too. Fred found that and played it. Howard said this is a dance song. He said he doesn't really have any other than Madonna, Britney Spears and others. Howard said it's just so insulting that they have those suggestions for him.
Howard said he just dropped everything on the floor. He said he was obsessed with watching old David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen interviews on YouTube. Howard said he watched a ton of them. He said he listened to Van Halen all weekend too. He said he heard tape of Michael Anthony's bass solos and he was a great bass player. Howard asked why Eddie was bashing him. Fred said he thinks it was because he teamed up with Sammy Hagar. Howard said Eddie is a genius. He said he came across a comparison video of Jimi Hendrix and Eddie. He said Jimi was a real showman. He said the guitar was a part of his body. Howard said Eddie is something else too. He said he is so talented.
Howard said Alex Van Halen is a great drummer too. Howard said he's not sure why he doesn't get more notice. Howard said he's not sure if he likes David Lee Roth or Sammy better. He said they're both great too. Howard said Sammy took over for David and you thought it was impossible. He said they put out some of their biggest selling music. Robin said that was more mainstream stuff. Howard said it's a pretty close tie. Howard said he likes both. Fred was playing Van Halen's ''Eruption'' and Howard said this is what he was talking about in a video he did. Howard told Fred to look up this video where he was showing off this song to some woman. Howard said it was an incredible video. Howard said it's just amazing.
Howard said Gary the Conqueror is in the green room coughing. He begged to come in and he felt bad so he had him come down. Howard said he's in there coughing so he had Gary (Baba Booey) go in and find out if he's sick. He said his handler says he's not sick but he has emphysema. Gary said Ronnie warned him about it. He said that he seemed fine but then he hacked. He said it does sound like a smoker's cough. Howard said he doesn't want to get sick from Gary the Conqueror. Howard said he doesn't want to get whatever he has.
Howard played a song parody with Gary Dell'Abate clearing his throat as an instrument. Howard said he was watching David Lee Roth in some interviews and he was obsessed like a stalker. Howard said he got into that Van Halen mindset. Howard said he was watching everything Van Halen. He said he was even painting to Van Halen.
Howard said they tracked down the cleaning woman who cleaned up that shit. Howard said he has some audio of her talking about that. He said she's from Guyana. Howard said he thinks the minimum wage down there is 70 cents an hour. Howard said to come here is a big thing. Howard said the average income down there is $3,400 a year. He said here she's rich. Howard said they asked her what it was like to clean up that shit.
Howard played the clip and Memet was asking her what happened. The woman said that there was some feces on the ground and they had it spread all over the floor. She said she didn't expect that. Howard said it doesn't sound like it was that small of a piece of shit. Robin said she tried to get it out before someone stepped in it but then the nephew came in and stepped on it. Howard said they needed police tape around it. He said she never should have left it unattended. Howard said he didn't know that's what happened. He said Robin discovered it whole. Robin said she figured he had a load in his pants and he tried to go and the piece came out and went plop on the floor. Howard said that's a good theory. Robin said it wasn't right next to the bowl.
Howard said this woman seems so nice and sweet. Howard said she writes to her family back home telling people she had to clean up shit. Howard put echo on her voice and made up the note that she could have written to her family. Howard said that woman sounds so nice. Fred was playing some Guyanese folk music while they talked about that.
Howard played another clip where Memet asked the cleaning lady how long she's been there and things like that. She has been in the States since 2009. Howard kept talking about how she must want to go home now after having to clean up that shit. Memet asked her if she imagined one day she'd be cleaning up for Beetlejuice. She said she never did especially there.
Howard said then they asked her if they thought Ronnie was using good judgment using the private bathroom there. Memet asked her if he should have been allowed to use that bathroom. The woman said no and they should have used the outer bathroom. The cleaning woman said the person who made that decision should not have made that decision. Robin said this woman knows better than Ronnie and she's only been there since 2009. Howard said Ronnie isn't using good Judgment.
Howard made up another letter the woman could have sent to her family. Howard said that Ronnie's article was in the NY Post over the weekend. Howard said that it was pretty funny. Howard said they had an awful picture of him next to Ronnie. Howard said that's the part he cares about. Howard said Ronnie is all pumped up over the whole thing.
Ronnie came in and said that no one knew any better with Beet. He said he is a celebrity. He asked where he should let Gary shit. Howard said one of the things they learned that was weird was Ronnie uses a cock ring. Howard said that's just weird. He said it's so odd. Ronnie asked why that's odd. He said it's fun. Howard said he thought cock rings were for guys with big cocks who didn't want to give too much to their girlfriend. Ronnie said what's great is that it sends the blood to the tip of your dick. He said he tries different things and it's fun. He said it's not like he's committing murder.
Howard played a song that Ronnie sang about the cock ring thing. Robin read about what a cock ring is for and said Ronnie is right with his description. Ronnie said he'll get one for Howard. Howard played another song parody about Ronnie where they sing about his use of the cock ring.
Howard asked if Stephanie really wants him to stay hard that long. Ronnie said it's not that long. Robin asked if he puts the ring around his scrotum. Ronnie said it's just around his dick. Howard said that wasn't in his article in the Post. Ronnie said it wasn't. He said he sent Howard the link first thing in the morning and he wanted him to read it and see if he liked it. Ronnie said he was nervous about it. Howard said he's nervous that he'll get blamed if it was bad.
Gary said JD told him that Ronnie retweeted the link like 100 times over the weekend. Ronnie said they asked him to do that. Howard said you don't have to do it 100 times. Ronnie said he had people making comments and he was retweeting those. Howard said he didn't have to do it that many times. Ronnie said it wasn't that many. He said JD can go fuck himself. He said he's a fucking jealous bastard. Howard said Ronnie is going to be carried away with himself now.
Ronnie said Howard has to watch Billions. He said he keeps telling him. Howard said he has it taped. He said it's not as good as Gotham. Ronnie said he doesn't know about that.
Ronnie said that he has been telling people that he threw Stephanie down the stairs. He said she had an operation on her leg and people ask her about it and that's what he tells people. He said they went to Wayne Siegel's wedding yesterday.
Sal came in and said that he was asked to book a show with him and Ronnie and Tan Mom and Ronnie told him to get a good price because he was just in the NY Post. He said that he's really carried away with that. Ronnie said he's not denying that. He said he wants to be paid well for that. Howard did his Ronnie voice and goofed on him about that. Howard said his fee has doubled for him to go to a club and yell at people. Sal laughed and said it was a bar upstate. Ronnie said he's not going to do it then. He said the money was fine but he wanted them to come up there and he asked why they can't fly because it's a 6 hour drive. Sal said he only wanted that after the article. Ronnie said when they were doing the Block Party they had to pay for everything. He said that it was a limo and all of that.
Ronnie said he heard his wife in the background telling him ''yeah, make it happen.'' Sal said that wasn't his wife. He said it was Larry Caputo.
Sal said that he called the guy back and said Ronnie was in the Post and the guy said ''He was?'' Howard said that he didn't ask Ronnie to do the article. Ronnie said they called Don and they called Howard. Howard said they asked if he could do the article but he didn't ask him to do it. Howard said no more attention for Ronnie from now on. Howard said he can go home and jerk off with the cock ring. Howard said from now on he's going to say no to him doing interviews. Howard said he doesn't need an article in the Post about him.
Gary mentioned one of the things they called Ronnie in the article and Sal said Ronnie is like Snookie with a moustache. Howard said she has a moustache too. Sal said Ronnie is like Snookie with a cock ring then. Sal said Ronnie did get the air fare for the flight up to this gig. He said it worked.
Howard said Ronnie's price went up. He said that's interesting. Ronnie said it's the same rate they got for the block party shows. He said he just stuck with that.
Ronnie asked Sal if he got his money. Sal said he negotiated on Ronnie's behalf. He said they haven't been paid yet but they did get a good rate. Howard said it's a big celebratory day. Sal said that he wanted Tan Mom in a different car too. Ronnie said it was Sal who suggested that. He said they wanted her to fly out of a different airport. Ronnie said he's so full of shit. Howard asked if Tan Mom has been in the post lately. Howard said Ronnie has.
Howard asked if Gary the Conqueror is sick or not. Ronnie said he's not sure. He said Gary was walking in circles downstairs and coughing. Howard said he's not sure if he should share the room with him. He said they claim it's a smoker's cough but he's not sure. Howard said maybe he should keep him in the green room and interview him from there.
Howard asked Robin what he should do. Robin said she knows it's a smoker's cough. Howard said Robin is protected from it. Sal said maybe they can put Gary in Robin's booth and have her sit in the studio. Robin said they can do that. Howard said he doesn't want to do that either.
Howard asked JD how many times Ronnie retweeted the link. JD said it was 21 times. Howard laughed. Ronnie said he was just retweeting what people were sending to him. He said the guy was a big fan of the show too so he did it for him.
JD said the music they used was Rise of the Valkyrie so it wasn't even that pleasant. Gary said they waste so much time with so much bullshit on that show. He said they had a big snub this year not mentioning Abe Vigoda. He said that he died this year but so did David Bowie and he died this year too.
Howard said Chris Rock was good. He said he had to do what he did or he'd look like a sell out. Howard said one of the things they did was put a fun fact about people up on the screen and you couldn't read it. Howard said it was horrible. Howard said he doesn't want that. Howard said he just wants to see the people. Howard said it's a perfectly bad storm. Howard said Stallone had his wife and kids there and he didn't win. Howard said he was so ready to win. Howard said then that guy who barely had a part in the Steven Spielberg movie won. Howard said the guy was barely in the movie.
Howard said there was a point where you'd think Mad Max was a great movie. Howard said it was possibly the worst movie he's ever seen. Howard said it was like Fast and Furious in the dessert. Howard said it was awful. He said you'd think it was the best film ever made hearing people talk about it on that show. Howard said he sat and wasted his time with that piece of shit.
Howard said poor Stallone was there with his whole family. He said the guy didn't win. Howard said Chris Rock is always funny. He said he thinks he was pigeon holed into talking about just black stuff. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Howard said they figured out he's 16 years old in leap years. Gary said he's actually 63 and he'll be 64. Howard asked if he still works at Burgerville. Gary said he does. He works an hour a day. He said they won't give him more time. Robin asked how much he gets for that kind of work. Gary said it's like 50 bucks a week.
Howard said Gary is only 63 but he could pass for 80. Gary told him not to say that. Howard asked who he's voting for. Gary said he hates Donald Trump. He said he saw him yelling ''Turn the lights off'' on TV and he didn't like that. Howard asked if he can vote. Gary said he doesn't know how to do it. Howard said he knows he doesn't like Trump though. Howard asked who is getting the retarded vote in November. Gary said he doesn't vote.
Howard asked if Gary likes any of the nominees. Gary said he doesn't like any. Howard said he doesn't have to vote. He said he can discuss that with some other show.
Howard said Gary claims that he's never masturbated in all 63 years. Howard said we all do it. Gary said Sal and Richard called him at 5:30 in the morning and he doesn't like that. He said if he wants to call the show he'll call it.
Howard said he has some birthday IDs for Gary. Howard said they have Jennifer Hudson wishing him a Happy Birthday. Howard played the clip that Richard inserted his voice into to say ''Gary the Conqueror.'' They did that with Julie Chen, Kenny Loggins, Lady Gaga and others. Gary didn't know any of them. Howard said Gary lives a good life. He has his own apartment and he has some money. He said he's got it made.
Howard said Gary said he wanted to come in and one of the things they planned for him was to meet his long lost brother Barry. Howard said this is Barry. The guy came in doing his Gary the Conqueror impression and claiming he was Barry. Gary and Barry talked for a short time. Howard asked if Gary knew he had a brother. Gary said that isn't his brother. Barry claimed that when Gary was a kid he picked shit out of his diaper. Gary said he did not. Howard said he knows he's Gary's brother because he has the same laugh. Howard said he'll prove it. Howard had Gary and Barry laugh to demonstrate. Gary did a fake one but Barry did his real Gary laugh.
Howard said the show has gone full retard today. Howard asked Gary if he remembers his brother. Gary said he's not his brother. Barry said that both of them were dropped on their heads. Gary said he's a sick mother fucker.
Howard asked Barry if he would mind filling in for Gary now that he has emphysema. Barry said he would like to conquer Robin's big boobs. Howard asked Gary if he would mind Barry taking over for him. Gary didn't get a chance to answer since Barry was talking over him. Howard said if Gary can't call in they'll have Barry on instead. Gary said that he has to call in and tell him to let him talk on the air.
Howard thanked Barry for coming in and let him go. Howard said he didn't know he had a brother. Gary said he just made that up.
Howard said this next person coming in is a general in the army and he's saying that Gary can be drafted. Brent Hatley came in as General Hatley saying that he can help make America great again if he comes and joins the army. Gary said he isn't joining the army. Brent said he has to get up at 4 in the morning. Brent named him Private Short Bus. Howard asked Gary if he wants to serve his country. Gary said he doesn't know.
Howard let Brent go and said they've met Barry and the general. Gary said he'd like to see Miss Howard Stern. Howard said she's not there today. Howard said he has the guy from the Draft Board. Howard said Miss Howard Stern is out fucking Barry instead.
Howard asked Gary if he has anything he'd like to say on his birthday today. Howard said they have a smart couch that he can get on. Howard asked who the first U.S. President was to die in office. Gary said he doesn't know. Howard asked a few questions and Gary didn't know the answers to any of them.
Howard said a lot of the Wack Packers have died recently. Howard said they lost Crackhead Bob recently. He said it was just a few weeks ago. Howard said he thinks he died of loneliness. Howard said he's really not sure what he died from. Howard said they lost Eric the Actor, Johnny Fratto and Riley Martin too. Gary said he heard about that. He said someone called him up and told him about it. Howard said happy birthday to Gary and thanked him for being there with them.
Gary asked what happened with Elephant Boy and High Pitch Erik. Howard said they had a fight. Howard asked if he wanted to do anything else. Gary said he'd like to do anything. Howard asked him a few words that he might find funny. Gary wasn't laughing much. Howard would say things like ''pee-pee'' and Gary would do a word association thing. Howard said happy birthday to him again and said he's only 16 based on leap year.
Baba Booey came in and asked if they're done. Howard said he's not sure. He said Gary begged to come in and he hopes he's having fun. Booey said they have a lot for him to do today so he'll be around.
Howard asked Gary about his day and what he does usually. He has a computer but he doesn't know how to use it. Howard asked if he looks at porn. Gary said he tried but he got viruses. He said he had over 100 things on the computer he had to get cleaned up. Howard said Gary can't read so what does he do on the internet. Gary said he gets a lot of gossip. He said leave him the fuck alone. Howard said he doesn't know what he does all day. Gary said he watches TV a lot. He said he likes Emergency and COPS. Howard said he didn't know COPS was still on. Gary said he likes CHiPs too. He said that they ride motorcycles all day.
Howard asked if he has fans come up to him at work. Gary said there are people who come up and say hi to him. He said he cleans up the parking lot and things like that.
Howard let Gary go. He said that he has other things for him to do out there. Howard said they have to do something for him. Robin said they can't invent a friend for him. Howard said he thought inventing a brother would work. Howard said he thought that he'd be happy about that but he got all agitated.
Howard had Barry come back in. Howard talked to Barry about what went on with Gary when he came in. Howard asked Barry what he does all day. Barry said he works in the World Trade Center as a tour guide. Howard said that Gary hated Barry. Barry said that he wishes his brother masturbated. He said his penis works and he has a good looking girlfriend. Howard asked what his real name is. He said it's Anniel Hernandez. He did some other impressions but Howard told him to stick with Gary the Conqueror. Howard asked what he does for a living. Anniel said he works selling tours like he said. Howard told him to get out of there after that.
Howard said he'd like to say it was good having Gary there but he's not sure the guy is enjoying himself. Howard said that he has a big piece of glass that they used to keep Gary from coughing on him. Robin asked how they came up with that so fast. Howard said he has no idea. He said Gary asked if he wanted it and he said he could have it up there in 2 seconds. Fred said he cam up with it. He said it's a drum screen. Howard said that's what they use to isolate the drum sounds when drums are in there.
Howard said that he has a Sharon Osbourne birthday wish for Gary but he had no idea who she was. Howard said they tried to make it special for him today. Howard said he likes that he keeps getting viruses and he can't even whack off. Howard said that he'd like to figure out how to get him a computer so he doesn't get viruses.
Howard said Gary's Handler is there. His name is Bob. Howard asked how long he's been with him. Bob said he's known him for about 40 years. He said he talked to him because no one else would. He said that he takes Gary to work 3 days a week. He said Gary has his own studio apartment. Howard asked if he can hook Gary up with a compute that won't get viruses. Bob said that he goes into rooms where they give him the viruses. He said he can't type or anything. Howard asked if he's lonely. Bob said he doesn't know. He said that he seems happy watching TV. Howard said he watches old stuff. Howard said maybe it reminds him of his childhood. Howard said thank god for Bob. He said that he's a very helpful guy. Bob said it's good seeing them again. Howard said they should hook Gary up with some Playboys or something. Howard said he has to take a break so he can get to Robert Smigel. Howard said he's going to call him Bob. Howard said he invented Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Howard said it's good stuff. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he has Robert Smigel there. He said he's very excited about this. He said he thinks Bob is a super talented guy. Howard said he does Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Howard said it's been a long time since he saw him. Bob said he saw him at Ben Stiller's birthday but he didn't want to bother him. Howard said he should have. Howard asked to talk to Triumph. Bob did the voice and had his puppet there. Howard said that he is one of the funniest out there. Howard said he's excited about his deal with Hulu. Howard said it must have been hard to get that. Triumph said it was weeks and weeks of Netflix saying no. He said you have to put a lot of time into getting rejected by Netflix.
Howard said he thinks he can take over and make Hulu really big. Howard said that his special is very funny. Triumph said it's 90 minutes of him. Howard asked who he confronted in the special. Triumph said he spoke to Mike Huckabee. He said they gave him a pie and a carrot cake which calmed him down. He said that he was at the shooting range or as mass murderers like to call it ''the gym.''
Howard asked Triumph about how politics are going to the dogs. Triumph said that's the worst joke Howard has told in 20 years. Triumph had a flat Ronnie and he was fucking it in the ass. Howard said that he just came on Flat Ronnie. He said that's disgusting. Triumph said he still has more dimensions than Fred does. He asked if he has a Flat Fred over there. Triumph said that Fred changed his name to Eric but everyone still calls him the worthless sack of shit.
Triumph said that he's so blunt in the way he says things. He said that must be the key to his success. Howard wanted to let him riff a little. Triumph said Howard looks good for a man in his 60s. He said he looks like a cartoon fucked a show poodle. Howard said his appearance does bother him. Triumph said that they just asked him to host America's Got a Calcium Deficiency. Howard said he sure knows how to stick a knife in his heart. Triumph asked about the kitten business he has going on. Triumph said his home must smell worse than Gary's breath. Howard said nothing smells worse than that.
Triumph asked about the Oscars and said he was excited about Best Animated Feature which was won by Inside Out and that's the description of Howard's penis. Howard said his balls are inside out. He asked if he was neutered when he was a puppy. Triumph said they did. He said he's jealous of Howard's even as tiny as they are.
Howard asked Triumph what's on his mind. Triumph said that Robin looks good. He said she survived the biggest scare of her life but then thank god, Howard re-signed for another 5 years. Triumph said Robin truly understands him. He said he's been in show business being carried by an ugly Jew as well.
Howard asked if he admires Don Rickles. Triumph said he does. He said that he learned from Don. He said he tells people that he kids. He said that he tells people to call their mothers just like Rickles too. Howard asked if he ever tried to do regular comedy. Triumph said he did. He said that he did a killer Eisenhower impression. Triumph did that impression of Eisenhower in the same voice talking about pooping on the floor.
Howard asked Triumph to do more jokes. Howard said he has so much fun talking to Triumph. Triumph said Gary Dell'Abate looks great too. He said that he understands the aging walrus look. He said he knows Howard gives him poop about vinyl. He said it brings out the sounds and texture of the asshole talking about vinyl. He said now Gary has the throat clearing thing going on. He asked if Gary has ever thought of removing Howard's dick from his mouth.
Howard asked what breed he is. Triumph said he's a toy Rottweiler. Howard asked where he was produced. Triumph said that's kind of boring. Howard asked what he's a fan of.
Triumph said he wants to give Sal a plug. He said he obviously went to a good hair plug guy. Howard said that he's talked about everyone but Benjy there. Triumph said that he's trying to find a joke about him. He asked Benjy where you'd fine more dried up jizz, on JD's sheets or Benjy's beard. He realized he should have closed on Sal.
Howard said poor Bob Smigel's hand is hurting from the Triumph puppet. Howard said he's going to talk to Bob now. Howard said that he wants to talk about the puppet. Howard said the puppet was manufactured in Mexico. Bob said he was in Mexico with his wife and they had puppets hanging up in this store. He said that he immediately slipped it on his hand and sniffed his wife's ass with it. Howard said it occurred to him that on Conan O'Brien's show that it would be funny to have puppets that are stand up comics. Bob said he was the head writer at Conan and he didn't want the show to be like Letterman at all. He said he didn't even let Conan do remotes. He said he knew he'd be funny doing it but he didn't want him doing them. He wanted to stay away from what Letterman did. He said Letterman was in his new studio doing stuff like that.
Bob said that he didn't have the idea to do the insult comic thing yet. He said it wasn't Triumph yet. He said that they had dogs doing other kinds of stand up acts. Howard asked if he was afraid of pitching something like that. Bob said not with Conan. He said they had the same kind of sense of humor. Howard said they worked on Saturday Night Live together. Howard said before he became head writer on Conan's show they were supposed to have Dana Carvey take over Letterman's spot. Howard said Dana said no. Bob said he thinks he didn't want that day to day talking to guests thing. Howard said Lorne Michaels took Conan and made him the host instead.
Bob said Conan had left the show and was working on The Simpsons. He said Lorne doesn't want people to leave when they have talent. He said he was there at Saturday Night Live in 1985 and 86 and that was a tough year. Howard said no one really liked that group. Bob said that he almost got fired. He said it was a tough year.
Howard said Bob's dad was a dentist who invested tooth bonding. Bob said he changed the industry with that. Howard asked how he discovered that. Bob said that there were people inventing the material and he was the first one to figure out how to use it to fix chipped teeth. He said it was supposed to replace silver fillings. Bob said that people thought that he was a quack for doing that. He said that it's so much more important to dentistry. Howard asked if he's still around. Bob said that he is and he did get credit in the dental industry.
Howard asked if there was pressure for Bob to be a dentist. He said he had pressure from himself but all he ever wanted to do was be funny. Howard asked if he went to college for pre-med and all of that. Bob said he did. He said he had good grades in high school but at Cornell he didn't do well. Howard said then Bob went into comedy. He said that he got into drawing cartoons and stuff. Howard said he invented The Ambiguously Gay Duo on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that is one of the greatest cartoons ever. Howard asked what happened to the movie they were going to make. Bob said they did think about making it into a movie. He said he had tried writing a movie for Hanz and Franz. He said Schwarzenegger was ready to do that. He said that he created ''Da Bears'' bit on Saturday Night Live too. Howard said he was on Saturday Night Live for a really long time. Howard said he did that The Ambiguously Gay Duo on the Dana Carvey show. Howard said the cartoon was brilliant. Howard said that they were going to make it into a film. Bob said he wanted to do it in 1999. He said Lorne loved the idea but then they got bogged down in who owns what. He said it was owned by Brillstein Grey because it was created for the Dana Carvey show. He said that it was sold to a few different places and Universal didn't give them the rights to it at the time. Bob said 5 years later Steve Carell and Jim Carrey had a conversation about it and Jim lit up. He said that Universal wanted them to write it after that. He was going to write it with Stephen Colbert because he wasn't really famous yet.
Howard said it must be great being able to write like that. Bob said he'd call people with ideas and people would throw him jokes. He said that Stephen had some great ideas for it so he asked him to write it with him. Howard asked what the story was about. Bob said it will never be made. He said that someone suggested making it into a Broadway musical. He said there are people interested. Howard said he would go see that every day of his life. Howard said he would help produce it.
Bob said that they had a bit they did with Jimmy Fallon and Jon Hamm and that's a taste of what it was going to be about. Howard asked if there is a script. Bob said there is. He said Universal would have done it but they had to wait a year for Jim Carrey. He said his managers were split on it. He said they told him that he had to do serious stuff. He said that was before he did Dumb and Dumber Too. Bob said that Stephen went on to be a national treasure. He said he can't let go of this thing. Howard said why not just produce it. Bob said maybe. He said the problem with that one was the special effects and it might be expensive. Howard said he was thinking about creating The Ambiguously Gay Duo on ice. They could take that all over the country.
Howard asked Bob about going to school and asked what he did. Bob said he switched to communications and that was a mistake. He said then he started doing stand up. Bob said he went to NYU after going to Cornell. He said no kid should spend college taking communications. He said that you should do something other than that if you're in college. Howard asked if he was scared out of his mind doing the comedy thing. Bob said he was. He said he had a big prayer book and a cotton candy beard and come out talking about the guys in his synagogue would do. He said he'd stand up there licking his finger and changing the pages. He said that he would do that like Andy Kaufman would do. He said then he'd eat his beard. He said this was the first four minutes. He said he won a contest doing that act. Howard said he must have thought he was the second coming of Lenny Bruce. Bob said he was just having fun making fun of his friends and people were enjoying it. He said he won the contest at the Comic Strip and then he got to go on at 2:30 in the morning. He said that he went up and did the beard act but the audience there at that time of morning don't want to see that. He said he ended up in Chicago and ran into Tim Kazarinsky. He said he's a very funny guy and he told him about Second City. He said he met all of these other great people and that led to doing Saturday Night Live with Franken and Davis.
Howard asked if he ever had bits that were too edgy. Bob said that he'd write conceptual ideas and Lorne wasn't into short films at the time. He said he thought he was going to get fired. He said he struck out for like 4 weeks in a row and then he parodied Jerry Seinfeld knock offs with Tom Hanks hosting the show.
Howard asked if the writing room is that tough over there. Bob said it is. He said it is a hard place to pitch ideas. He said that he'd find people who were his age and asked if they thought this stuff was funny.
Bob said he was told that Lorne would give people a year at least but there was one writer who was fired after like 6 weeks. Howard said that no one has had more writing seasons than Bob did. Howard said Seinfeld offered him a job on Seinfeld too. Bob said that they did. He said he wrote a sketch for Jerry on Saturday Night Live and they had 3 guys who talked just like him. He said that Larry David did offer him a job but he had to turn it down. He said Seinfeld is such a great show and he thinks he could have fit in over there. Howard asked if you have to just write a whole script with that show. Bob explained how it works with a show like that.
Bob said that he did Lookwell with Conan. He said it makes him very happy that Howard liked that pilot. He said Conan was at the Simpsons and Lorne asked Conan to replace Letterman. He said that wasn't Conan's dream to do that show. He said it as his dream. Howard said Conan never got to be a performer on Saturday Night Live. Bob said that he was afraid to push himself. He said he was allowed to write for himself but he didn't want to be pushy. Howard asked if he ever wrote anything to get him on the air. Bob said he didn't have that in his head.
Howard asked if he created the Hanz and Franz thing. Bob said he helped but Dana and Kevin created it. He said they wrote a movie for them and they never did get it made. He said Arnold turned down the film after one of his flopped.
Howard asked Bob about his wife who he's been with a very long time. Bob said she's thrown in jokes into his cartoons and stuff. He said that he was married and living this life. He said he was working really late and he had to devote some time to his wife. He said he put his career first and foremost. He said he brought her to New York and he didn't want to keep doing that to her.
Howard asked about the Dana Carvey show. Bob said he did that but they agreed to be on ABC and Disney bought them so they were put on after Home Improvement. He said that he couldn't watch the show. He said he did after he read about how the ratings were tanking. He said that parents and kids were supposed to be watching it.
Howard said Louis C.K. told them a story about how Jimmy Fallon auditioned for the show and he thought he was so funny and cute that he rejected him. Howard said Louis was jealous of his looks and talent. Bob said he thinks they were all jealous.
Bob said they did a bit on Dana's show where they had Bill Clinton breast feeding. Bob said that it was a weird bit where he could breast feed a baby. This was airing after Home Improvement. Bob said that Louie though that this would draw a line in the sand and you're either with them against them.
Bob said in 1995 Conan was in his third year and he was still doing the lips thing on his show. He said Conan could have done a monologue but he convinced him to do a Bill Clinton bit. He said he didn't want to make it nice. He wanted to do something wild about his drug use. He said he insisted that he'd have Bill confessing on C-Span where no one is watching so he can confess everything. Bob said he had him doing this bit and it tanked. He said if you ever do the dinner you have to make the president and the first lady laugh or the whole audience won't be.
Howard said the reason Bob is there is because he's got this Triumph Election Special 2016 on Hulu. Howard asked if he gets nervous being there doing the puppet thing and just standing there. Bob said he does get nervous. He said that the Star Wars fans are the best because they're fans. He said that he was doing this with politicians and they're not fans. He said he gets nervous doing that. He said he had a hard time getting himself to ask the questions he had to ask.
Howard said he admires Sacha Baron Cohen and the way he does things. Howard asked if he's ever been beaten up. Bob said they were shooting a movie that ended up getting aborted. He said they were at a convention and he was walking in one direction to a protest or something. He said this guy said something about Jay Leno and how he was going to get him. He said they go off to this protest and they're on the way back and this guy is still there but he's completely drunk. He said he got into his face and he put the puppet in his face and the guy grabbed it asking ''what the fuck man?'' He said that he's gone to other events and if the audience is laughing with him then it's not going to be good. Howard said he should go to the middle east and fuck with ISIS and things like that. Bob said he has thought about that but his wife says no fucking way.
Howard asked Bob if he's got a lot of money. Bob said he burns through a lot. He said he has a son with autism so he has to spend a lot. He said his son needs a lot of attention. Howard said that there must be a lot of people who want to work with him. Bob said that Sandler has been very good to him. He said he's done a lot of animated stuff with him. He said they've been good gigs.
Howard said he has a megaphone he uses on the air. He said he's been using the same one for a million years. Howard asked how he takes care of his puppet and if he bought a lot of them. Bob said they bought all they could find at one point. He said they don't make them anymore. Bob said that it's the only gig he can do where he's the star of the show so that's where the money is. Howard asked if he's ever tried to make a new one. Bob said yes. He said they have made moulds. Howard asked if they're fine. Bob said they are. He said they were all individually hand painted down in Mexico. He said that the body is a beheaded doll. He said it's a plush animal doll that's gutted. Howard said the other thing that's weird is that the bow tie is shitty and he throws the thing around like he's disgusted with it. Bob said he doesn't want to be one of those guys who thinks that it's real. He said it's just a puppet. Howard asked why he treats it with such disrespect. Bob said he's just a pig and a slob. He said they have maybe 3 bodies and 6 heads right now. Howard asked if he insures them. Bob said no. Howard said he should insure them. Bob said that they do have moulds made if they have to make new ones.
Howard asked if he ever heard from the guy who made them originally. Bob said they tried to track him down but he's never spoken to the guy. He said that they made a plush doll that would insult people and they went through this due diligence to try and find the guy. He said that they never did so they made the puppet look a little different. Howard said Triumph was probably made in a sweat shop. Bob said no doubt.
Howard asked Bob about having a dog when he was a kid and he gave it a voice. Bob said he did and it was the same voice for all of the dogs they had. He said it was a Bichon Frise and it had this eastern European voice. Bob said the only thing he could think was that they have the same wide eyed wonder that Eastern European's have when they land at Ellis Island. Bob did the voice for Howard.
Howard asked if Triumph is his best creation. Bob said it is the most famous. Howard said he loved the bit he came up with for Matthew Broderick where he was at a nudist colony and everyone talks about his penis after he's told no one even looks. Bob said he went to a nude beach once and this guy is standing there with his penis hanging out and the guy was so casual about it. He said he was wondering what it would be like just talking about the guy's penis. Bob said that bit was written about because of how many times they said penis. He said his dad was proud when it ended up in the paper.
Howard said he was surprised it made it on the air. Bob said he was too. He said they had written it a year before and performed it in a live show during the writer's strike. He said NBC dissolved the standards department and that's how they got it on the air.
Howard asked if he was one of the writers on the Stedman cartoons. Bob said he didn't create it but he was part of it. Bob said he had left to do another show on Comedy Central. He said he rejected the bit at first because he thought it was too mean but then he thought it was too funny not to do it. He said that Oprah knows to just ignore it so he never heard from her about that.
Howard asked Bob about a Michael Jackson cartoon he made. Bob said they did that and it was Michael Jackson as an adorable child molester. He said that was fine because the trial was going on. Then a year later he wrote another one that got a cease and desist from the lawyers. He said he was never able to run it again. He said like 4 years later the big trial was going on and he wrote another one. He said now that he's a parent it's harder to write stuff like that. Howard asked if he has any regrets not going into dentistry. Bob laughed.
Howard asked Bob if he writes any ideas down when they come to him. Bob said that he has a computer to do that with now. He said he's writing a screenplay right now. He said he can't afford to do anything for fun anymore. He said he is doing the movie thing and despising himself on a daily basis. He said whenever you get stalled you hate yourself. He said he'd rather play with the kids instead of doing that.
Howard said that he loves when Bob comes in there. He said that he wants everyone to check out Triumph's Election Special 2016 which is playing on Hulu. Howard thanked Triumph for coming in. Bob went into the voice and did the puppet thing again.
Bob said that he was at the game where Gary threw the first pitch. He said he has to do another one. Howard told him to go talk to him about that. Howard tried wrapping up but then he asked who his friends are. Bob said that he's got friends like Sandler, Colbert, Jon Stewart and more. Howard asked if there's anyone he hates that he'd like to mention. Bob said that he's heard the Steven Seagal stories from Saturday Night Live. Howard said he can leave it at that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. They played a phony phone call that the guys made to a radio show using Jeff the Drunk clips as they were going to break.
Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about orthodox Jews and circumcision. Robin said that two more newborns have been infected with herpes after going through that. Robin said there have been 13 cases in the past few years. Howard gave his thoughts on circumcision and how it got started. Howard said somehow it became okay for a rabbi to put his mouth on a kid's penis. Howard said that they get herpes and then they have to explain that they got it from a rabbi. Robin said two died from the virus and one had brain damage. Howard asked Robin if she can imagine there's a god that wants a man to suckle a baby penis. He said this is like a third world nation thing.
Howard said his phone is going off. Howard said he thought it was Smigel's phone. Howard said he's just reading his email now. Howard said he blames it on Robin. Howard said he'll blame her for everything. Howard said he'd love to do something with him but Fred would get jealous. Fred said not at all. Howard said his phone is going off because Fred keeps sexting him.
Robin said she saw a play on Broadway called Eclipsed. Howard said he hates it already. Robin said it's not a musical. Robin said that it was written by the woman who plays Michonne on The Walking Dead. Robin said it's a great story and it's very well written. Robin said there is a lot of humor in it.
Robin read about last night's Academy Awards and had some audio of Chris Rock's opening monologue. Howard said ratings were at an 8 year low. He said he thinks people just haven't gotten out to see the movies. Howard there was a story about the guy who wrote The Revenant. He said it turns out 17 years ago the guy who wrote the book was some high power government official. He was in charge of negotiating trade agreements with the government. Howard said he's so high up that he can't be interviewed about the book. Howard said when he wrote the book it only sold like 5,000 copies. Howard said it kicks around for years and now he's got a hit movie and he can't be interviewed about it. Howard said his job is so important that he can't talk. Howard said he hates when people are good at more than one thing. Howard said he's only good at doing radio. He said he's jealous of anyone who can do that. Howard said he doesn't like the director who directed The Revenant. Howard said he directed that shitty Birdman that he didn't like. Howard said he did want to hear what he had to say last night but they played him off with Flight of the Valkyries. Howard said he thinks they should have let Leonardo DiCaprio talk too.
Robin and Howard also talked about what people were wearing and how they can't ask women what they're wearing anymore. Howard said that Alicia Vikander is so hot. Robin said Heidi Klum was there. Howard asked why she was there. Robin said she may have just walked the red carpet. Robin said she had a thing showing a lot of skin so she got noticed. Howard said she has a social media team just to get her out there. Howard said that's what she must do at these events. Howard said Heidi has a friend named Alessandra Ambrosio. She was hanging out back stage and saw what Heidi was doing. She ripped her off and ended up in the paper just as much as Heidi. Howard said he saw it happen. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read more about the Academy Awards. Robin had some audio of Whoopi Goldberg doing a bit on the show. Robin said that not everyone understood the Stacey Dash bit that Chris Rock did. Howard said he did because he watches FOX News. Robin had a clip of Chris introducing her. She had some other clips of Chris doing some of his comedy bits.
Robin ran down some of the winners like Leonardo DiCaprio who was there with his mom. Robin and Howard talked about that for a short time. Howard said he thinks that Leo must hate his mom. Robin said he claims he's the one who wanted to get into acting. Robin had some audio of him making his acceptance speech and getting played off.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been trying to get through for a long time. He said he has spring salmon coming his way. Howard told him not to send it. He said that it has no mercury. Howard said he doesn't want it. Howard said people send it to him all the time and he throws it right out. He doesn't trust anything sent in the mail. Howard told the guy not to waste his money.
Robin said Brie Larson was the big winner as Best Actress. Robin said she was in Room. Howard said she was really good in that movie. Howard said the movie Joy was awful. He said he liked Spotlight. He said the acting was off in Joy. Robin said it was a great story though. Howard said he doesn't care about a woman who invented a mop. Robin said it had a lot of revenue coming in. Howard said he loved Room and liked Brooklyn.
Robin said an Idaho lawmaker is questioning if rape and incest can lead to pregnancy. Robin said the guy is 77 years old. Howard played a clip of this guy talking about how in most rapes it doesn't end up in pregnancy. Robin said the guy made the comment in a meeting. Howard said this guy gets to be in office. He said just listen to what he's saying.
Robin read about a 23 year old Ukrainian man who was posing as a high school student. Robin said he's facing sexual assault charge now. Robin said the girls thought he was just 18. Robin said he went by the name Asher Pots. Robin said that he came to the U.S. in 2013. Robin said since his visa expired he has been posing as a high school student. Howard said imagine he tried to go back to high school.
Robin read about Super Tuesday coming up and who is in the lead in the polls. Robin said that Donald Trump has been accused of not turning down and endorsement from David Duke. Robin said that Trump refused to say he won't accept the endorsement. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
After the live read Robin read more about Trump and the endorsements he's getting. She had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders picking up an endorsement yesterday. Robin said a Hawaiian congresswoman has endorsed him. Robin had some audio of the congresswoman talking about her endorsement. Howard said Gary the Conqueror just endorsed President Lincoln for a second term.
Robin read a story about Royal Caribbean canceling a cruise due to bad weather. Some people thought it was because the Noro-virus was spreading on board.
Robin read a story about Erin Andrews suing a man who video taped her in her hotel room. Robin said that Andrews is suing the hotel for giving the man her hotel room number. Robin said she's looking for $75 million in damages. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon asked Chris what he thinks. Chris said that it may have gone to his head a little bit. Jon said Ronnie is very proud of that article. He said he's very humble Ronnie right now. He said he thinks he's at a point where he can command a certain quote. He said that it might bring him into Diva territory but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Jon talked to Chris about the Oscars and some of the new things they were doing. Chris said the new scroll was really distracting. He said he hates when they play these people off within 20 seconds is bizarre too. He said that he doesn't get why they do that. Jon said he's with him on that. He said if someone drones on he gets why they'd play them off. Jon said he thought Rock was great and came out swinging. He said calling Hollywood racist took balls and he did it. Jon said he disagrees with Howard and Robin about Mad Max Fury Road. He said that he's not looking for Shakespeare there. He said he thinks it looked great. Chris said it seems like something they'd really like. He said it won like 6 awards. Chris said they completely shut out Star Wars in everything. Jon said that the performances were really good and the effects were great too. He said he thinks that Howard was wrong about that one.
Jon asked Rahsaan if he can believe how into the awards people get. Rahsaan said he thinks they're all over rated. He said there is no such thing as a good award show. They went to break after that.
Jon asked the guys about hosting the Oscars and who would want to do that. Ben said he wonders why anyone would want to do it. He said he can't imagine getting that call. Gary said when you think back on the Letterman one it had a lot of great jokes in it. Ben said the Franco one was like ''What are we watching?'' Jon said they wanted to try something different there. He said that they have millions of people tuning in and they have the audience so why do that. He said he thinks there's a lot of ego involved. He said you want to prove that you can do the job. Chris said that Chris had to address that issue of the Oscars being so white. He said that everyone remembers the Letterman ''Uma Oprah'' moment. Gary said everyone repeats it though. Chris said he thought Chris Rock did a good job. Gary said his only complaint was that it was the theme of the whole show. He said at some point he wanted him to fuck with the audience. Jon said he thought he did an excellent job but he agrees with Gary. They spent a few more minutes talking about that.
Jon asked Ben if he looks forward to going to these award shows. Ben said he's been to the Emmys but he's never been invited to the Oscars. He said they're really torturous. He said he loves acting and loves his fellow actors but the award show format is so boring. Jon said people love the Golden Globes because you can get loaded. Gary said they pointed out the Leo DiCaprio face he made when he bumped into Lady Gaga but it was no big deal. It was a split second.
Gary said he was out in L.A. a couple of weeks ago and he told Sylvester Stallone that he should come in after he wins the Oscar. He said he thought it was a slam dunk. He said Sylvester said that he hasn't won yet and he was so bummed out last night when he didn't win. Gary said he was really surprised. Chris said everyone was shocked by that. He said that it was probably the biggest surprise of the night. He said Mark Rylance won it and he felt sorry for Mark Ruffalo too because he's sure he felt like he won for a split second with the same first name.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks Howard would ever host the Oscars. Gary said no way. He said Howard doesn't feel the need to prove his name to anyone.
Jon asked Ben to tell a story he had about Robin. Ben said he was a waiter in a restaurant there in the city. He said he was the worst waiter and he ended up waiting on Robin's table. He said he figured he'd do that just to make a few bucks. He said that he had no idea what he was doing. He said he fucked up their order and spilled milk on her. He said he can't multitask. He said Robin was so sweet though and she even tipped him. Gary said Melissa McCarthy also waited on Robin at a restaurant when she was a waitress.
Jon said that Ronnie was in the NY Post on Friday. Jon said that they revealed that Ronnie upped his quote for a gig because he was in the NY Post. Gary asked how much money there is in the pool for Ronnie, Sal and Tan Mom anyway. Jon wrapped up with Ben and went to break after that.
Jon said they had the salad bar guard for Gary the Conqueror today. Gary said it's such a weird thing. He said Howard is a germophobe. He said he asked his handler about it and got the best sense he could about the cough. He said Gary was in a weird mood today. He said he might have been expecting more today. Jon said that whenever someone comes in their mood is critical. He said with Gary he thinks he was happy but not doing cartwheels in the studio. Gary said that High Pitch Erik is easy to get up there but they have to work for weeks to get Gary in there. Jon asked if he thinks he was annoyed by Barry. Gary said he thinks he was annoyed.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Mad Max is a great example of movie making. Gary said it is interesting to watch but there's not much of a plot. Chris said he liked the movie a lot but it may have suffered from over hype. He said that it's not the greatest of all time but it was a fun action movie. Gary said people say that Charlize Theron has reinvented that role. Gary said he doesn't get that. Chris said she's in the lead role and she's the hero of the movie. He said people liked that it was a woman instead of a guy.
Jon said that Tom Hardy is getting lost in all of that. Gary said he was good in Legend too. Jon said he's a fantastic actor. Gary said he was in The Revenant too and you can't understand a word he says in the movie.
Jon said Sal has gained a little bit of weight. Gary said if he says it's 6 that means it's 12. Gary said that Sal is a funny guy. He said he'll call you gay for doing things but then he's on Weight Watchers on the point system. Jon said he's not actually using Weight Watchers but he probably is using their point system.
Jon said the first half hour of the show was Howard talking about coffee. Gary said there was a lot of things going on there. Gary said that once one guy said that the plastic is releasing carcinogens that becomes face with Howard. Gary said because of that Howard is going to stick to Starbucks. Chris said he's so entertained by that whole thing. He said that it's very interesting to him.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said it's no surprise that 78 percent said that Ronnie has turned into a diva.
Gary asked Chris what movie he should see that came out last week. Chris said that he liked ''It Follows.'' He said it's not a mainstream movie but it's amazing for a quirky horror movie. Gary said he's had a movie that he hasn't watched that everyone tells him is really scary. He said it's called The Babadook. Chris said it might not be as scary as he thinks it is. Jon said he thinks Gary will be scared.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:55am.
Howard started the show signing along to his opening theme song. Howard said he sounds like Beetlejuice. Howard said they asked him to sing the top 5 songs and he does sing. Howard said they have some new Beetle music too. He said this is the top 5. He said number 5 is by Flo Rida. He had Beetlejuice singing that song. He was must making sounds and going along with the music. Number 4 was Justin Bieber. Beet was doing the same thing with that song. Twenty One Pilots was at number 3 and Beet sang that one too. Howard said Justin Bieber is at number 2. Beet sang that one the same way. Howard said Sia was in there once talking about how she makes up her songs that way. Howard said Rihannna is at number 1. He played Beet singing her song and some of the real song too.
Howard said he was reading about Erin Andrews and about the guy who masterminded that crime. Howard said that the guy wasn't even into it for the sexual part of it. Howard said the guy found out she was famous and called asking for her room, figured out what room she was in and he got the room next to her. Howard said hotels always give people the room number even when he's staying in a hotel. Howard said that criminals are geniuses when it comes to getting that kind of information. Howard said he knows the hotel should be more protective but they're not the FBI. Howard said he doesn't know if they were out to get her. Robin said they are supposed to provide a level of safety and security. Howard asked if schools are supposed to be blamed during shootings. Robin asked if there is an expectation of security at hotels. Howard said she's not answering about the schools. Robin said you do expect a certain level there too.
Howard gave up on his argument saying that he was too tired to do it. Howard said that he only argues with Fred. He said we have such a fucked up world. He said hotels were set up to have a place to sleep and all of that. Howard said if someone walks up to you and asks for the room next to Erin Andrews they have some moron giving her information out. Howard said he's stayed at the Four Seasons and Gary will go up and ask for his room and they'll put him right through on the phone. Howard said it's terrible. Howard said leave him alone.
Robin said she thinks about the Connie Francis suit against a hotel or motel. She was attacked in her room. Howard said that's when they started putting chains on doors. Howard said he thinks the guy did this to Erin in a few places. Howard said that he got the room next to her's and he somehow altered the peephole and saw into her room. He said the guy hated that he did it and he wasn't even able to sell the tape so he put it out for free. Howard said the guy doesn't even know why he did it. Howard said he was probably angry and jealous. Robin said he's the one who should pay. Robin said he got like 30 months in jail for that.
Howard said you need a life more like his. He saw a picture of the actress with the big tits and said he thinks she looks great. JD said he looks it up and they are supposedly breast implants.
Robin said she read that Orlando Bloom is with Katy Perry. Howard said that's a good move. Howard said that guy stops the room when he's there. Howard said Beth is the smart one because she married him and she's the one who stops the room. Howard said women who marry outrageously good looking guys have a tough life. Howard said Beth will be a great beauty as long as she's next to him. He said she's very smart for doing that. Howard said he is heinous. Robin told him to stop it.
Howard said whenever he has pictures on his web site now he's sitting on the couch. He said Jason stands as far away as he can and he shoots down. He said he looks okay doing that. Howard said if you shoot up he's a mess. Howard said if Katy Perry was smart she'd date someone like Benjy. He said she'd look amazing next to Benjy.
Howard said Katy looks really good when he sees her in videos and stuff but when she's next to Orlando Bloom she has a bit of a gut.
Howard said that Whoopi Goldberg was at the Academy Awards. Howard said she had a big tattoo on her shoulder. He said it's very common today to see that. Howard said a web site on beauty called Total Beauty tweeted out that they thought Oprah was tatted up and they love it. They thought Whoopi was Oprah. Howard said they didn't mean it as a joke. They really thought it was Oprah. Howard asked how they don't know the difference. Howard said they had to issue an apology to both women. Howard said they said there were no excuses for what they did. Howard said he's not sure how they make that mistake.
Robin said they're saying that the stock for Weight Watchers is supposed to be tripling. Howard said he doesn't understand why that doesn't happen with Sirius stock. Howard said it never happens for them like that. Howard said maybe he and Robin should invest in something like Oprah did.
Howard said he and his mom tried weight Watchers. He said she'd have a melba toast with cottage cheese on it. Howard said she didn't lose weight and the toast was like cardboard. He said she'd have like 50 pieces of it. Howard said they should invest in melba toast. Howard said that's what they should do. Howard said he just read that Oprah lost $27 million because Weight Watchers stock went down. Robin said she just read it was going up. Howard said that one analyst said it's ''about'' to triple.
Robin said she read that Erin Andrews was makeup-less on the stand in her case. Howard said that's what you're supposed to do.
Howard said he was reading about Derek Jeter's girlfriend Hannah Davis. Howard said she is really hot. He said she's even got attractive feet. Howard said he reads the paper waiting for stuff like that.
Howard said he has Hillary Clinton on the phone. Howard went to her first and asked her some questions about beating Bernie Sanders. The guys were in the back playing the pre-recorded clips of fake Hillary. Howard picked up on fake Bernie too. Howard asked them about Antonin Scalia what their thoughts are on that. The two of them had some words about each other on that. Howard asked Bernie who he'd nominate. Bernie said he'd pick Michael Moore or the guy who sells him weed. Hillary had a comment about Bernie's age.
Howard asked Hillary about taking large speaking fees from corporations. Bernie cut her off as she was trying to answer. Hillary said they need a guy who won't die before his inauguration.
Bernie and Hillary went back and forth with comments about each other for a minute. Bernie told her to suck his ass and Hillary told him to suck her clit. Howard interrupted and tried to get them to stop fighting. They had more comments about each other. There was a lot of name calling between the two. Howard cut them off and wished them luck. Howard said they have to get prepared for Donald Trump with that stuff. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Mike Gilman is there with the award. Howard asked Mike about last year's win and how he won that. Mike claims that they had a lot of write in votes for him. Howard said a lot of people want him to cut his hair. He said he wishes someone would tell him what he should look like. Howard said he went to the gym and he thought his hair looked big. He said every other guy has a normal hair cut. Howard said maybe he shouldn't have that afro style hair. Gary said he thought that James Hetfield made that move. Howard said he thinks he was losing his hair. Howard said he has great hair and he can have a full afro. Howard asked Mike what he thinks. He asked what Mike does. Mike said they have hair products on their web site GroomingLounge.com. Howard asked if his hair style is out of date. Mike said he thinks he looks good in the pictures he puts out. Howard said his wife doesn't want him to cut it. He said he was going to slick it back but people thought it was a bad idea. He said Gary was against it. Gary said it would be a drastic change for him. Howard said he looks odd coming out of a pool. He said he is going to keep his hair. He said it really is his own hair and he doesn't even color it.
Howard asked Mike if he's a real deal. Mike said they are. Howard asked if he really won or did they do this just because he gets on radio. mike said it's a real thing. He said he is a fan but it's a real thing.
Howard said they did it in categories and he beat everyone in every category if you add it up. Howard said he won against Mike Greenberg and a bunch of other people. He said that he won against the celebrity category too. He said he won against the politicians too. Howard asked if that's right. Mike said Howard was at the top. Howard said that's according to Mike who he doesn't even know. Howard said they get a free mention so that's why they do this.
Howard asked to see the trophy they have for him. Mike showed it to him and Howard said it's not bad. Howard read what it said about him being the overall winner. Howard said the trophy is bald and it has no dick. He said thank you to Mike. Mike said they're donating 10 percent of sales to Bianca's Furry Friends through the North Shore Animal League. Howard thanked him for that. Howard said that's a happy ending.
Howard said they asked people on the street about his win. Howard played some of those answers. Some people thought it was funny but some thought his hair was fake. Howard said he has the hair of a 17 year old. He said that if he had a decent mug he'd be able to light the world on fire. Howard said he has great hair and Mike is right.
Howard sang a song about winning the Best Hair Award two years in a row. Howard said they could make a Broadway show about that. Mike said they were going to do rankings of people on the show. Howard said they don't have to do that. Howard said Benjy wouldn't be nominated since he has no hair left. Howard let Mike get in a plug for his web site GroomingLounge.com. Howard said he should win next year too since he gave him a plug. Mike said he can be pretty certain about that. Howard said he's going to hang this trophy up in here. Robin said that he won two so it's impressive. Howard said Sal is jealous with his hair plugs.
Howard said he was listening to a clip of Michael Rapaport watching the Oscars and taping himself doing it. Howard said he thinks the guy is out of his mind. He said this has to be fake. He said he's really into Sylvester Stallone and it's such an over the top reaction to it. Howard played some of the audio of Rapaport freaking out asking what the fuck is going on when Stallone loses.
JD said Rapaport has been tweeting out clips of Rocky all weekend. Howard asked what's going on there. He said they haven't heard from Frank Stallone in years and he's freaking out about his brother not winning. Howard said Rapaport has real passion. Robin said she doesn't believe it's real. Howard said there must be some truth to it. Robin said he has to fill his podcast with something.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked to hear more Beetlejuice stuff. Howard said that he did cut some new music. Howard said he has a track they're working on but they're not finished. Howard said it's something he wrote himself. Howard said he's not sure if he should play an unfinished song or not. Howard said he does have his ''People In Love'' song. Howard said Beet did a ton of stuff when he was there. Howard played some of the song where Beet is singing about people in love. He said they're going to have some stuff to add to that song so it's not done. Howard said that Beet is going country with that song. He said it's just a little taste of what he's working on. Mark said it's awesome.
Howard said they asked Beet to count from 1 to 10 and even that caused some confusion. Beet counted to 5 and then went to 12. Beet was all over the place with his numbers. Beet kept counting up to 12 and then it went to 18, 13, 14, 25, 30, 40, 80, 12, 13...
Howard said Beet is something else. He said to get him to record they offer him money. He said they pay him to record. Howard played a clip of Sal giving Beet some money to sing. They gave him $14. Beet was ready to go after that. Sal said there was more where that came from. Beet said money talks and bullshit walks. Howard said Sal is proud of himself for messing with a pinhead.
Mark asked if they have a game to play. Howard said not right now. He let Mark go after that. Robin said she read that the Zika virus creates people like Beetlejuice. Robin said she saw one of the babies that was born that way. Howard said the day Beet was there he was there for hours. He said some guy from TMZ was down on the street and they put him on TMZ that night. Howard said that Beet never met a cameraman he didn't like. Howard played a clip from TMZ where Beet said he's the best boxer ever. The guy asked who the better fighter is and Beet said he'd beat Mike Tyson's ass. He said he'd fight Mayweather too. Beet said he'd fight anybody. Howard said there's some rating for the highest watched video on the TMZ last week.
Howard said Beet is setting all types of records. Howard said now he's back at home with his mom. Howard said she has a normal sized head but his sister has a similar head as Beet does. Howard said he's not sure why you could have a baby like that after getting bitten by a mosquito. Howard said that's a cruel thing. Howard said he heard an Atheist talking about how if he dies and here is a god he's going to ask why he's so cruel. Howard said that's a good question for God. Robin said there are a lot of good questions like that for God.
Howard said Pat Robertson claims to be able to speak to god and he thinks you should give him money because of that. Howard played a clip of Pat Robertson being asked about voodoo dolls and if she should quit her job so she doesn't have to sell them to people in the store she works at. Robertson said god will give her another job and she should quit that job if she's uncomfortable selling voodoo doll key chains. Howard did his impression of Pat Robertson for a short time and goofed on his dopey answers.
Howard said that's some racket that guy has going. Howard said he's on TV asking for people to send him money to spread the word of Christ. Howard said he just wants you to send him money so he can fly all over the place and buy things. Howard did his impression a little more. Howard said Memet was telling him that his grandparents love that show. Howard said Memet did say his grandmother wasn't that nice. Howard said he kind of suspects that anyone who follows Pat Robertson isn't that nice.
Howard asked Memet if his grandmother watches ever week. Memet said it's his other grandmother, not the mean one. He said he does love that one too though. He said she's a tough one. He said that every holiday involves screaming and crying. Robin said that she loves that people go back year after year expecting something different. Memet said that the grandmother who watched Pat Robertson passed away recently. He said she'd watch that show 24 hours a day.
Howard said Memet has become the show stud. He said that Sour Shoes called in as George Takei coming on to Memet. Howard said that impression is so good. Howard played the clip of Sour doing his Takei impression. He did that impression and then did his Artie Lange impression. Howard said that is awesome. Memet said the only thing that gives it away is that keyboard playing constantly.
Howard played a clip of Memet's grandmother talking about how he looks like a witch. Howard said that's the grandmother that the family doesn't get along with. Howard said you hate her immediately. Memet said at family functions she does more screaming. He said if she calls and he doesn't answer right away she'll tell him to never speak to him again if he's not going to answer her calls immediately. Memet said he does love her though. Howard said it's amazing that he's normal. Robin said they don't know that. Howard said he does have a Gangster of Love tattoo on him. Howard asked Robin if she's attracted to Memet. Robin said he is cute... but then he talks.
Howard said Charlie's real name was Art Ferguson. Howard said he got into radio at 16 years old. Howard said the guy didn't really do anything special as far as he can tell. He said he just had a good radio voice. Howard said that the reality radio thing fucked that up for guys like that.
Howard said he never even heard the real Charlie Tuna. Howard said he only knew him from this guy doing the voice. Howard said he had a room in an attic in this house they were in and it was right on a highway. He said it looked like an abandoned shack. Howard said it was their dorm for guys out of town. Howard said it taught him a lesson about changing your name and how it could give you a career.
Howard had a clip of Charlie Tuna doing his thing. Howard said listen to that voice and then listen to his voice. Howard said he chose this career where he doesn't have a good radio voice. Howard said he never knows what those guys are talking about. He said he tried to form sentences that made sense unlike that guy. Howard had Fred play it again so he could try to figure out what he was talking about. Howard had no idea.
Howard said he used to listen to that kind of radio when he was growing up. He said it's fucking crazy. He said they had 10 seconds to fit in 30 seconds of thoughts. Howard did an impression of what it sounded like to him. Robin said he took his name from a TV commercial so Howard should have done that. Howard said he could have been Cap'n Crunch. Howard said Steve Kingston used to name guys and en named one Neckbeard. Howard said he thinks he named Human Newman. Howard said he sees that guy up there at Sirius all the time. Howard said he kind of likes that the guy works there even though he doesn't know him. Robin said there's Shadoe Stevens and Spyder Harrison too. Howard said he knows those guys too.
Howard did his radio guy impression as Charlie Tuna. Howard said this is the career he picked. He said that he decided to go on the air and make sense. Howard said on the other hand he didn't think he could make it because he sounded nothing like a radio guy. Howard said that was his dad telling him that. He said his dad didn't think he'd be able to do it. Howard said he wasn't sure how he was going to make it in radio. Robin said she didn't know what a tissue box was. Howard said they would give them away like crazy back then. Howard said it was a big deal for radio guys.
Howard said he tried being Miles August for a while. He said he should have been Cumstains Johnny. Howard did more of his radio guy voice talking up songs as Cumstains Johnny. He did that for a minute and then went to break.
Howard said a lot of people are yelling out Baba Booey and Tata Toothy at golf tournaments. Howard said it seems like the TV stations are trying to lower the sound after a player hits the ball. Howard said it's almost like when you don't hear a Baba Booey there is something wrong. Howard played a couple of clips where guys were yelling out Tata Toothy. Howard said he has a Baba Booey shout out too. Howard said he loves it. He said it's become synonymous with golf. Howard played a bunch more where people got on yelling Baba Booey pretty loud. Howard said it's like they're right on mic in some of them.
Howard had a clip of some announcers talking about how Bubba Watson could be called Bubba Booey. Howard said a lot of sports guys have fun talking about their show. Howard said there's another sports guy who drops reference after reference to the show. Gary said his name is Jason Fielder. Howard said this guy is a sports anchorman who gave plugs to Jon Hein. Howard played the clip and Jason talked about Jon Hein and even got in a ''Duu'' and a ''Chello'' in another clip. He was saying ''Noine'' like Gary and giving more shout outs to Jon Hein in another clip. He mentioned Ronnie and ''Scoresman'' and other show references. He had a Flat Ronnie there with him too. Robin asked if he has one. Howard said of course he sent him one. Howard said he's at WNEM in Saginaw, Michigan. Howard asked how he gets away with that. He said he's doing a lot of it. He said he's on in a legitimate market doing that stuff. Howard said he loves it but people must think he went insane. Howard said they must want to lock him up. Robin said it is amazing he makes that many references in one sportscast.
Howard said Shuli did a show with Sour Shoes. Shuli said Sour is amazing. He said people came to see him do his thing. Shuli said at one point Sour was doing his thing and it was great. He said people loved it. Shuli said he did maybe 35 minutes of stand up and then brought Sour out for maybe 35 minutes more. Howard said sometimes you have to rein him in because you can get bored. Shuli said he had a thought for what would be good. He said that he went to do a sound check and Sour had to put his Roller Blades on.
Shuli said Bobo wrote a song. Howard said he heard about that. He said Bobo is a maniac. Bobo said he did it in under an hour. Howard said he wrote a song about highway safety. Howard played the song and it was Bobo singing along to a music bed. He was really talking the song and not really singing it. Howard goofed on Bobo's accent and asked why he's talking about driving with your hands at 9 and 3 instead of 10 and 2. Bobo said it's about safety with airbags and where you should have your hands. Howard played more of the song and said he has to go home and listen to this stuff after the show.
JD came in and said that Natalie Maines is obsessed with Bobo and his periscope. He said she was upset with him for Periscoping while driving. Bobo said he's never done that but a certain celebrity has done that. Howard asked who that is. Bobo said it's Bubba. Howard said that's the last interesting thing about Bubba.
Shuli said that Bobo went and bought a harmonica after he asked him to play something. Howard had a clip of Bobo playing the Harmonica and talking about that. Howard said he just got fucking annoyed. He played a song parody about Bobo and said he didn't know Shuli set Bobo up to do that. Shuli said it was something they came up with in the writing meeting.
Bobo said on the Wrap Up Show they were talking about how they should have celebrities read his notebooks. Shuli had to explain to Howard what he was talking about. Howard played another song parody about how much Bobo sucks.
Howard told Bobo he has to go. Bobo asked him to have Sarah Silverman read his notes. Howard said most of the ideas they come up with on the Wrap Up Show he doesn't do. Howard said it's done now. Howard said it's not going to go on and be more of a bit. Howard said he's not going to ask anyone to read his notebook. Howard said he knows what he's doing. Howard played another song parody about Bobo where the singer asks him to get off the phone. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Tina Fey is there and she's in a new movie called ''Whisky Tango Foxtrot.'' Howard said she was out at the Oscars. He said she must have just flown in. Tina said she did. Howard said she's got kids and she's so busy. Howard said they must be slowing her down. Tina said they do slow her down. She said they bother you all the time. Tina said that she was trying to put them to bed and one of her kids said she had too much luxury this weekend. Howard said when you make a movie they do treat you like a queen. Howard said you must feel important. He said they pamper you. Tina said they open the door for you all the time. She said they do that for you in prison too though.
Howard said Jim Carrey got a divorce years ago and his wife would ask him to take out the garbage. He said he would be like ''I'm Jim Carrey and you're asking me to take out the garbage?'' Howard said that you get that sense of entitlement.
Howard said he was thinking about how glamorous Tina has become. Howard said she worked at Saturday Night Live as a writer and she was about 30 pounds overweight so she lost the weight so she could get on camera. Howard said it was a conscious decision. Tina said she had been on stage in Chicago and it's a different esthetic there. She said she came to New York and wanted to buy some clothes but nothing fit. She said no one ever said to her that she had to lose weight. Howard said Lorne did put her on as soon as she lost it. Tina said there was an opening at the time. She said that was Weekend Update. Howard said people who say appearance doesn't matter are full of shit. Tina said yeah but you just have to look like you're not going to die. Howard asked if she's afraid that she's going to turn into that overweight girl again. Tina said no. She said enough time has gone by. Howard asked if she would ever do Botox. Tina said she doesn't think so. She said you can't say never. Tina said if she didn't have kids she might have done some lipo.
Howard asked if Tina about the new movie and said she's making the point that if you go to Afghanistan as a New York 6 you're a 9 over there. Howard said she points out to Margot Robbie that she's a 15 over there. Howard said that this story is the complete opposite of his life. Howard said if you're stuck in a job you don't like then pack your bags and go to do the most dangerous job you can find. Tina said she's not sure she could ever do that. She said it's based on a book and it's a true story. Tina said that she went on a trip she thought was going to be 3 months and it ended up being 3 years. She said she partied hard over there. Tina said the army calls it a 4-10-4 which means you're a 4 at home and a 10 when you go away and then a 4 when you go back.
Howard said it's true what Tina says about Afghanistan being the forgotten story. Howard said Tina read this book and made it into a movie. Howard asked if she ran to Lorne about it. Tina said she did. She said he has a deal with Paramount. Howard asked why she has to do that because she did Sisters on her own. Tina said that he was helpful during that process. She said that she asks why people need Judd Apatow all the time and now she realizes she has to call Lorne. Howard asked if things happen faster with him. Tina said she learns a lot from him. She said that you can learn a lot from him.
Howard asked who is Lorne's favorite. Howard said Tina has done a lot with Lorne. Howard said she did Mean Girls with him. Howard said she turned down Mean Girls 2. Tina said she did and she saw some of it and it wasn't very good. She said that they asked her for years if she wanted to do another one and she kept saying no. Tina said she's not sure why she didn't do it. Howard said Mean Girls was a great movie and it said something. He said maybe they shouldn't do a sequel. Howard asked if she was upset that they went ahead and did it. She said she wasn't that upset. Howard said it proved she was right for not doing it. He said she knows more than they do. Tina said if she knew Tim Meadows was doing it she would have tried to give him more jokes.
Howard asked if she's working on a Mean Girls musical. She said she is. She said her husband is working on the music. Howard said he would go see that. Howard asked if there is a lot of competition between her and her husband. Tina said she doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks it must be hard for the husband to have sex with a comedian. Howard said that she must find jokes in that. Tina said it's been 20 years now so there's not.
Howard asked how long they worked on this movie. Tina said it was like 3 months. She said that they did it in New Mexico. Howard said they had Billy Bob as the general. Howard asked who picked him. Tina said he's really good in the part and someone else chose him.
Howard asked Tina about hanging out with Bruce Springsteen at the after party for SNL's 40th. Tina said she would never do that when she worked there but she was asked to sing with them that night at the after party. Tina said they kept asking her to sing up there into his mic and she was trying not to make noise as she did. She said they all made fun of them for doing that. Tina said the audience doesn't want to see her up there. Howard said Paul McCartney was up there too and he had no idea what to do either.
Howard asked Tina about doing her Sarah Palin impression on Saturday Night Live a couple of times lately. Tina said that she feels like she's more jacked up lately and maybe drinking Red Bull or something. She said that she talked for 20 minutes when she was endorsing Trump. She said that she talked too long and you could tell from watching Trump that day.
Howard said Tina isn't saying who she's endorsing. Tina said she actually said that she gives her endorsement to Baba Booey. Howard said he heard about that.
Howard said he feels like this movie is a change for her. He said it's not really a comedy. Tina said it's more of a Dramedy. Howard said Martin Freeman plays her boyfriend in the movie. Howard said that they have a sex scene in the movie. Tina said the guy who wrote the movie ran 30 Rock with her. She said he knows that she'll never do a serious sex scene. Tina said he knew that it had to be a joke.
Howard asked Tina about picking a male writer to work with. Tina said that he's like a little kid. Howard said he must be uncomfortable because he must have feelings for her. Tina said not at all.
Howard said in the movie there's a scene where an official has a crush on her and Tina blackmails him to get rid of him. Howard asked if she's had that happen in her real life at all. Tina said no. She said she's never had that.
Howard asked Tina about Colin Quinn calling her a cunt years ago. Tina said that he did but it was many years ago. She said she saw him at a screening for the film and it was fine. She said it's all good now. She said it was good to talk about it. Howard asked if she can get past that. Tina said she can.
Howard said Tina thought she was the crusading girl in high school but she realized she was the mean girl or the cunt in school. Tina said she was mean about people and you realize that those things could be hurtful to people.
Howard said Tina was at the Oscars and he saw her on the red carpet. Howard said she wore a purple Versace dress. Howard said that they didn't ask her what she was wearing this year. Howard asked why they don't do that. Tina said it is obnoxious. Howard said that Michael Strahan pulled out his cell phone and took a selfie with Tina without asking. Tina said it's fine. Howard said she looked pained. Tina said his camera wasn't working. That's why she looked pained. She said that she didn't mind taking it. Tina said she loves taking a selfie with super tall people. She said that she's 5'4'' herself and her husband is only 5'2'' tall. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard asked if she dated tall guys. Tina said no. Howard said they'd look weird together if they dated. Tina said she likes travel size.
Howard asked Tina if there was too much attention paid to the fact that there were no black nominees. Howard said there were no Asian nominees either. Tina said she thought Chris Rock's monologue was fantastic. She said the pre-taped bits were great too. She said they didn't get a dress rehearsal so if you want to complain it's like going to Cheesecake Factory and getting spaghetti and then complaining that you got too much. She said people wanted Chris to do that and that's what he did. Howard said he can't imagine the pressure of doing the Oscars. He said that there's so much that goes into that.
Howard asked if she owns this new movie. Tina said that she produced it with Lorne. She said that Lorne knows about how to produce stuff like this. She said he really does know how to get people on board. Howard asked if she handles all of the creativity stuff. Tina said they both do that.
Howard said he thinks that she's trying to tell people to take risks in their lives. Tina said that's right. Howard said Tina became a comedian. Howard said that's risky. Tina said it is in a fake kind of risky way. She said Kim risked her life for real. She said that she was doing work over there and guys would pinch her ass and she'd turn around and punch them in the face. Howard said that must happen a lot over there. Tina said it does.
Howard said there's a scene where Tina is firing an AK-47 and she looks like she was having fun doing it. Tina said she was firing blanks and she didn't care at all. Howard asked if she has fired a real gun in her life. She said no. Howard asked if she thought it was a real charge and that she'd like to do it. Tina said she thinks that's a dude thing. She said she was super careful with the gun. She said that she didn't want to Brandon Lee it. She said that's not how you want to go out.
Howard asked if she went to an Oscar after party. Tina said she went to one. Tina said she thought about how this was some real Hollywood bullshit. She said people were telling her what to do and yelling about a bunch of things like corporate greed. Howard asked what she thought about Leo getting up and talking about global warming. Tina said that it's great when someone can get up there and speak fluently about it because for the most part actors are dumb. She said that she thinks it was fine. Howard said he'd the one fucking chicks on a yacht and then yelling about the environment. Howard asked if they should make a musical about that party boat.
Howard said Tina was at the Academy Awards and she gets called up to do an introduction on stage. Howard asked what that's like for her. Tina explained what it's like and how she feels. Howard said that when you're out in L.A. everything is so show business oriented. Howard asked if she finds when she's about to present that people try to get into her inner circle. Tina said no.
Howard asked Tina how she knows which party to go to. Tina said she went to the Vanity Fair party and she thought she might know someone there. She said she actually did. Howard asked if you want to go where the stars are so you're with people you know. Tina said she went this year because she had another dress she was supposed to wear and she wanted to wear it and get a picture of it. Howard asked if it helps with the movie promotion too. She said it does. She said you have to wear the dress too because someone gives it to you to wear.
Howard asked Tina if she travels with people to help her out with all of that. Tina said she husband was there and he just wanted to get out of there. She said that's why she loves him. Howard asked if she ever tells the husband that he has to suck it up and just be there.
Howard asked who she ran into there. Tina said she saw Caitlyn Jenner. She said that she wanted to talk to her but she didn't see her. She said she looks fantastic. Howard said Bruce Jenner was a big guy. Tina said she doesn't even know who that is anymore. Howard said that Bruce became a she and it fascinates us. Howard asked if she would put Caitlyn into one of her projects. Tina said they'll have to see. She said her show didn't do very well.
Howard asked if she's working with David Spade. She said he's doing a pilot she's producing. She said he always has a gorgeous 20 year old girl on his arm. Howard said he's getting older but the girls are staying young. Tina said if it was the other way around it would be a nightmare. Howard said that would be true. He said she wouldn't be Tina Fey anymore if she was dating a 20 year old guy.
Howard asked who she did talk to at the party. Tina said she spent like a minute talking to Selena Gomez. She said that they had a photo booth there and they had Mark Seliger taking photos there. Howard asked if she did it. Tina said she didn't. Howard said you have no control over those photos.
Howard asked Tina about having kids and how she has to open her door to other moms who are excited about coming to her house. Tina said in New York everyone is a big shot of some sort. She said it's not as prized a commodity as it is in L.A. She said that she can become friends with these other moms. Howard said it has to be hard. He said it's a confusing thing as a parent because you don't want to make it about you. He said the kids must know that too. Tina said they're still kind of young for that.
Howard asked if Tina has seen Tracy Morgan lately. Tina said she saw him a couple of weeks ago. She said they made Tracy come and sing at this thing for Lorne. Tina said that Tracy showed up wearing a vintage fur coat. She said he had a necklace on and it was like a solid gold Jesus head. Howard said she must have been so impressed with that.
Howard said he saw Tina on Jerry Seinfeld's ''Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee'' and she said something that he's just forgetting about now. Howard said it was in his head that just left. Howard said he just lost it. Tina said comedians are such lone wolves. She said she was talking to Jerry about never doing stand up and Jerry told her that she's better off not doing it and she thought about how she had to do it after that.
Howard said Tina has said a lot. Howard said the movie is a life lesson. Howard said it's really compelling. Howard said it says go out and live your life and take risks. Howard said he really liked the movie. Howard said she's having a good time doing it.
Howard said Tina told Jerry she didn't have a driver's license and that surprised him. Tina said she didn't have it for 12 years and she just got it back recently. Howard said that he feels like she does. He said that they're almost babyish. Howard asked why she's not driving. Tina said she didn't have the license because it expired in Chicago and after 9/11 her papers weren't right so she just let it go. Howard said she also doesn't have a key to her apartment. Tina said she does somewhere but she's not sure where. Robin asked if she carries money. Tina said she has like $6. She said she's a Hollywood phony.
Howard said he'd love to be around her when she has these other moms around her. Howard asked how many things she's got in the works. Tina said they have a couple of pilots in the works and they'll see how that goes and take it from there.
Howard thanked Tina for entertaining them and gave her another plug for her movie. Howard asked if it's going to be number 1. She said it might be 3 or 4 and that would be fine. She said it's a small movie and Zootopia will probably be number 1.
Howard asked Tina if she's a comedian or an actress or both. Tina said she's a writer who gets to perform. Howard said she does it all. Howard asked if she's taking some time off after this. Tina said she is. Howard asked if she has any hobbies. Tina said she will probably cook. Tina said she was asked to do a play recently and she read that you had to be naked and she said she's out. Tina said hell no to doing something like that in a theater. Howard said he'd go see that. Howard asked if she feels she has flaws when she's naked. Tina said she does. She said she trains 3 days a week to look like a comedy writer. Howard said she is cute. Howard said she must know that. Tina thanked him for that. She said she's just taking it in. Howard asked what she does to train. Tina told Howard about some of the things she does. She said she wears Nike Pants and a Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon shirt when she does it. She said that's just what she wears.
Howard said she would watch her at the gym if he saw her there. Howard asked if she runs. Tina said she's too old and she has tendentious in her hips so she can't run. Howard said Tina would goof on herself for training. Howard said he's glad to hear she's doing it though. Howard said he'd love to follow her around for a week just to see what she does. Howard said he thinks he'd hate it. He said it would be pressure to keep her laughing. Tina said they could get through it. Howard said he'd feel too much pressure. Howard asked what she can bench. Tina said she doesn't bench. Howard said he can lift the whole bar when he benches. Howard gave Tina some more plugs for the movie and wrapped up. They went to break after that. They played Hall & Oates performing ''Kiss On My List'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were going to break.
Howard said he was listening to Mad Dog Russo and he goes nuts. He said he's not sure if it's part of his shtick or not. Howard said he was asking the listeners questions about the Super Bowl and he gets angrier and angrier about the answers he was getting. Howard played the clip of Russo yelling at the fans for getting the answer wrong. Howard said he can't tell if it's real or not like Fred's laugh. Howard asked if he's really that upset or is he just waking people up. Howard played more of the clip of Russo. Howard said he asked JD if he thinks he's real about that. Howard said they took that clip and called a random guy named Jeff and used those clips. Howard played the clip of them calling Jeff and using the clips of Mad Dog Russo asking the guy for this football player he was asking about. Jeff tried to answer but they kept having Russo yelling ''No!'' and getting mad at the guy for not having the answer. Jeff keeps trying and eventually hangs up. They call back a couple of times and get Jeff angry to the point that he's yelling at Mad Dog. Howard said that was real anger from that guy. Howard said you can have phony phone call fun with Mad Dog.
Howard played the song Lorde did. He said he likes it. Robin said she wasn't overjoyed with it. Howard said he has a song Robin will like. He had High Pitch Erik singing ''My IQ's 64.'' He played that for Robin.
Robin got to her news and said that Chris Rock is in the news and he's dating someone new. Howard said he saw the girl and she's smokin' hot. Howard said he can't even pronounce her name. Robin said her name is Megalyn Echikunwoke. Howard said Chris says he'll never marry again but he bets he will marry this girl. Howard said she looks pretty good to him. Robin said she's not sure what she does. Fred said she's an actress. Robin said she was in Arrow. Howard said he should know who that is. Howard read about her in an article and she's not even confirming that she's dating but she's been at a few parties with Chris.
Robin read about how Clarence Thomas hasn't spoken for 10 years on the supreme court. Robin said now he's feeling some pressure and he did ask a question for the first time in 10 years. Robin said that he sat next to Scalia and he may have been asking all of the questions Thomas needed to hear. Howard said that's weird.
Howard said he has two different reporters making a mistake on air and saying ''semen'' instead of ''season.'' Howard said this is sky sports news first. Howard played that clip and the female reporter said semen and corrected it to season. Howard said that semen came right out of her mouth. It was on the tip of her tongue. Howard said in this next clip the reporter says semen instead of scene. Howard said it's women saying it. Howard said they have semen on their brain.
Robin read a story about Michael C. Hall getting married for the third time. Robin said he got married at City Hall. Howard said that guy is a really good actor. Howard said he loved and hated Dexter. Robin said she loved it until she hated it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Trump runs who will he pick for vice president. Howard said he has said he needs someone on the inside. Howard said he thinks that maybe Christie was trying to get that. Howard said it will probably be one of the guys who was up on stage with him. Howard said it could be Christie. Howard said he probably won't pick Rubio. Howard said maybe Kasich. Howard said when he ran for governor he picked a regular political guy to run with him. He said he also ran on the platform that he was going to resign after a few days.
The caller said that he has something to ask. He said that Howard is the only thing he has and he has no job so he can't afford his show. He asked if he can get a subscription for a few months. Howard said that it's like $14 a month. Howard said maybe he can put him on hold for 3 months. The caller said he would do that. Howard said Gary will handle this. Gary said he will but please don't do this. He said they can't keep doing this. The caller said he'd be fine with just a month. Howard said they really can't do this. He said Sirius will have a fit. Howard said the guy can get 14 bucks. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about E-cigarettes. Howard said he heard from a fan who liked the flavors that Beetlejuice is selling. Robin said they found that there are chemicals in some of these flavored stuff that can cause something called popcorn lung. Robin said they call it that because it was first seen in people who manufactured artificial flavoring for popcorn.
Howard asked Sal how his vape juice was. He said Sal still smokes those things. Howard said that he was talking to Ronnie about the cock ring thing too. Howard said he asked how many he has. He said he has like 3. He said it's like a rubber band you put around your cock. Sal said it basically cuts off the circulation in your cock. He said that Ronnie probably has a hard time keeping it up. Howard said he told him he does it to keep from finishing too fast.
Howard asked Sal about the vape thing and how the Beetlejuice stuff was. Sal said it was really good. He said the chemical thing depends on the maker.
Ronnie came in so Howard played a song that he sang about using a cock ring. Howard said he has questions about the cock ring. Howard asked who turned him on to cock rings. Ronnie said it's hard rubber. He said you can buy that shit online. Robin asked how he found out about it. Ronnie said they were in Philadelphia and there was a sex store. He said they all went in and walked around and he gave it a try. He said it was a crazy bondage thing. He said it looks like a big rubber band and it has ribs on it. He said the ribs are so if you don't put it down to the bottom it can excite the girl. He said she knows it's there. Howard asked what they cost. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He the cock ring is washable. He said it's not dirty. Sal said there must be flies around it. Ronnie said you don't use it to just keep your cock up. He said that's part of it but it also makes your cock swell. He said it holds the blood and makes it thicker.
Howard asked Ronnie if he really washes it. Ronnie said of course he does. He said he cleans it really good with hand soap. Sal said you know he just wipes it on the sheets and throws it in the drawer. Ronnie said Sal can't even get a blow job from his wife. He said he told him that. Ronnie said the cock rings are 3 different sizes. He said you can put them on different parts of your cock and it balloons up. He said you're in there and it's awesome for the girl. He said his girl told him it's good. Ronnie said the worst pain is taking it off after.
Howard said he's having this conversation in the car with him and he almost threw up. Ronnie said Howard was intrigued with it. He said he was asking him all of these questions. Howard asked how often he puts both cock rings on. Ronnie said it might be once a month for 1 cock ring. Howard asked if he puts on one or two more often. Ronnie said just one is the one he does more often. Ronnie said that it all depends on how worked up they are.
Howard took a call from Ronnie's girlfriend Stephanie. Howard said that he knows he's mental but when Ronnie first announced it was she okay with it or wondering what the hell was going on. Stephanie said she's bought a few of them. She said that they're fun. Ronnie said they all picked them out. She said they use it whenever it strikes the mood. She said it's just something different to do. Stephanie said it does hit different spots when he does that. She said that one is good but the double is good too. She said it doesn't make a huge difference. Howard asked how often she cries with Ronnie. Stephanie laughed. Ronnie said that the cock ring with the vibrator on it looks like a Saint Bernard because of the way the vibrator hangs off of it.
Howard asked how it comes about when they're having sex. Ronnie said they might watch porn and they'll start that way. Ronnie said sometimes she'll go over and get some porn to watch. Ronnie said it's fun. Stephanie said it's just something different instead of the same old mundane sex. She said they still do it 3-4 times a week. Howard said god bless Ronnie. Stephanie said that they haven't been doing it so much now that she's laid up after her operation. Ronnie said they tried it and she was in pain. Howard said Ronnie is a kinky guy. Stephanie said he is. Howard said Ronnie is dreaming up new positions and stuff. Ronnie said they recorded some cock ring tips. He said Howard will have to wait for those. Howard asked if some of them are things he's done with Stephanie. Ronnie said maybe some of them.
Sal asked if Ronnie has tried peeing on her. Ronnie said he's not into that. Howard said he's into anal. Ronnie said they have done that. Stephanie said that they don't use the cock ring for that. Sal said that he does talk about doing that for guys. Howard asked if Ronnie has threesomes with other guys. Ronnie said no. He said a long time ago he did have two girls he went back and forth with. He said that's it. Howard said he's heard that story one too many times.
Howard read that they masturbate in front of each other. Stephanie said that's true. Gary said they talked about that on another show. Ronnie said that was on Bubba's show and they got into trouble with Stephanie's parents over that.
Howard said he doesn't know anyone else who uses cock rings. Gary said he has someone in his office who does. It was Brent Hatley. Brent came in and said that it is well worth it to use one. He said it can be painful but in the end it is worth it. Brent said the vibrating one with the ribs on it is great. He said it can slow you down too. Howard said he's not sure how Beth would react to that. Ronnie said you just sit her down and talk to her about it. Brent said he can't believe Ronnie is the only one who uses one in there. Brent said that Trojan makes them.
Howard said he can't imagine reusing them. Brent said you throw them out. Ronnie said he saw that Stephanie charged something for $300 on his card at a sex shop. He said she bought a vibrator dildo thing for herself that he didn't even know about. He said it's like the Cadillac of vibrators. Brent said it must be the rabbit. Ronnie said it's something else. Howard asked Stephanie how often she uses that. She said it's only when he's gone. Howard said he thinks it would be hot to see her use it. Ronnie said he has seen that. He said it's fun.
Howard asked if Stephanie ever thinks of other guys who are younger. Stephanie said not really. She said she doesn't think about it. Howard said maybe she thinks about guys who don't need a cock ring. Ronnie said he doesn't need one.
Howard said his dad must wear them. He did his mother's voice and talked about that for a short time. Howard said Brent must be kinky too. Brent said he has gone to swinger's parties and stuff. Ronnie said Brent has worked with the craziest man in the world so he knows that stuff.
Howard asked Stephanie about the sex with Ronnie and if she enjoys it. Stephanie said it's great. Howard asked if Ronnie has VHS porn. Ronnie said he has some really old VHS. He said they have a TV and DVD player in the bedroom. Howard asked what his favorite porn is. Ronnie said he likes the squirter stuff. Howard asked if Stephanie squirts. She said she has a couple of times. Howard said he's like the Hugh Hefner of Queens.
Howard asked if Stephanie read the article about Ronnie in the paper. Stephanie said she did and she was very proud of him. Howard asked if marriage is on the horizon. Stephanie said they were talking about it at Wayne's daughter's wedding. Ronnie said they didn't talk about any wedding. He said they talked about the process. Howard said just do it. Howard asked if Stephanie wants to marry him. Stephanie said they were talking about doing an engagement for a while and then having a party. Howard said don't wait too long. Sal said he has half a foot in the casket. Ronnie said he doesn't have hair plugs at least. Sal said he's got him there. Fred did his Ronnie voice saying ''He's got hair plugs and I've got butt plugs!''
Howard said that they should just get married. Howard was egging him on to do it. Ronnie said no way. He said you have to do it the right way. Howard said come on man. He told him to try it out. Ronnie said he knows what she would say. Howard told him to say something. Brent told him to break down and tell her how he feels. Ronnie said go away. He said you have to have the utensils when you do that.
Sal asked Ronnie to say what he would say if he was going to do it. Ronnie told her to go into the office room and open up the closet in there. Stephanie did that and Ronnie had her grab something off the shelf. Ronnie said in the right sneaker there's a box. He said it says Steven Singer on it. It was an engagement ring. Stephanie asked if that's what it is. Ronnie said there you go. He said it's been sitting there for a while. He said he went to Steven Singer to pick up a few things. He said they have been talking about it and now he's giving her the ring. That was it. Howard said he has to give her more than that. Ronnie said they're getting engaged on the air. Howard said he has to tell her about their life together. Howard did the speech for Ronnie since he wasn't able to do it himself. Howard asked Stephanie to marry him and she said yes. Stephanie said she's shaking. Sal said he's going to prank call a girl named Stephanie with what he just said. Stephanie was crying. She said it fits perfectly. Ronnie said they know her size over there at Steven Singer. Howard said it's the same size as his cock ring.
Howard said that Stephanie is squirting from her eyes now. Ronnie said he had no clue how he was going to do this. He said this worked out. Howard said that they have to go to this wedding. Ronnie said that you don't give this stuff for Christmas or Valentine's day or a birthday. He said this is how you do it. Sal said he's an expert all of a sudden. Howard said he likes that it was stuck in a smelly sneaker. Howard congratulated Ronnie and Stephanie. Ronnie said they put a gun to his head with that. He said he was just joking.
Howard asked if Stephanie is going to take his last name. Stephanie said that she would for him. She said she wasn't going to do that but she would for him. Howard said Mund is about the worst last name she could have.
Howard said that Ronnie could have been more romantic. Ronnie said he was going to write a poem or something. He said she knows he's not like that with the proposal thing. Brent said he thinks that it's not manly to do that.
Howard said Ronnie doesn't know how to say any of that stuff. Brent said women like to hear that stuff from you. Sal said she takes cock rings for him. Howard said say something romantic to her. Ronnie said ''I love you baby.'' Howard said he thinks they've met the next James Bond. Howard said congratulations to Stephanie and Ronnie. Howard said it's a beautiful couple. At least one of them is. Howard said the poor girl is in shock. Howard let Stephanie go after that.
Sal said Ronnie looks like he's in shock. Ronnie said he is kind of messed up from that. Howard asked if he's going to get married or stay engaged. Ronnie said they'll have to see. Howard said Rick's just lowered their flag to half staff. Brent said he can't believe that he finally did it after all these years. Howard let the guys go after that.
Howard said that was the most horrible proposal ever. Howard asked what's wrong with him. Howard said he had to get on the phone and make her cry. Howard and Fred did their Ronnie voices and goofed on him for a minute and then got back to the news.
Robin read a story about what they're doing over in London they have the presidential candidates from this country as urinals in a pub there.
Robin read about today being Super Tuesday and what's going on with that. Robin said that Ben Carson says at some point the voters will wake up and get behind him. Howard asked if he's high. Robin said yes. Robin had a clip of him talking about that waking up thing. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about David Duke talking about how he hasn't endorsed Trump but he will vote for the republican candidate.
Robin read a story about George Kennedy dying at the age of 91. Robin said he's most famous for his role in Cool Hand Luke. Howard said he was in Airplane too. Robin said he was in a ton of other things as well. Robin had some audio of him in Cool Hand Luke. Howard said his dad used to tell him that he should never go into show business because anyone can take your job. He said George Kennedy was hired to be a consultant on a show and then he does some stuff and he ends up getting an Oscar. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Apple winning a case where they were asked to open an iPhone. Robin said this isn't the same case with the San Bernardino shooters.
Robin read about some people who are being asked to keep their cats inside. Howard said the average life for a cat that lives outside is only 3 years. Robin said the reason is to save the lives of birds. Howard said that's true too. Howard said they kill for fun. Robin said they have this campaign going on up in Canada. Howard said he's all for it.
Robin read a story about AirBnB where you can rent someone's house or a room. Robin said one couple found a body in a garden in a house they were staying at in Paris. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon said that you never thought that they'd get engaged. Jon said they felt that way because Ronnie wasn't going to pull the trigger. He said he has said he didn't want to get engaged and he's getting older. Jon said this was all going down and then the pressure was on him. They told him to propose to her and then Ronnie tells her to go get the ring. Jon said you could feel the shift in Ronnie. Gary said the turning point was when Ronnie paused and then just said ''Alright, you want to do this...'' and he told her where to get the ring. Jon said they had no idea it was going to be that kind of fun. Gary said you knew something was going to happen. Theo said he doesn't know Ronnie but his cousin told him about what Ronnie is about.
Jon said they have a poll up about this today too. Rahsaan said they're asking if Ronnie will to through with this or not.
Jon said now it's done and you know Stephanie wanted this. He said he thinks they're made for each other but he's thinking that when you're growing up as a little girl in Ohio is this the proposal you're expecting. Gary said the question is if this is the guy you expect to be marrying. Gary said he's sure this isn't want she was expecting. Theo said it was odd that he asked if it fit.
Jon said Ronnie was too choked up to ask the question. Rahsaan said he just got engaged and it was hard for him to do it. He said he's not emotional like that. He said he had to do it though and make it about her and not about yourself. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Theo asked if Ronnie's proposal was legitimate. The caller said yes. She said that a lot of guys suffer from being tongue tied in a situation like that. Jon said when Howard proposed he talked about getting naked and all of that. He said that was unique. Jon said everyone gets nervous when they do that. Jon said he was shaking as he was walking around the day he got engaged.
Gary said the day he bought the ring he had spent more money on it than anything in his life. Gary said it was a lot of money. Gary said he started to dry heave. He said Mary heard him dry heaving. He said he told her later what was going on. Gary said he got engaged at a restaurant. He said he wanted to put it on the dessert plate. Gary said they were seated in a horseshoe kind of seating. He said the guy comes and she sees the ring. He said he didn't say anything. He said he was just so nervous. Gary said she had to tell him to ask her. Gary said it was like he was struck by a lightning bolt. He said there are so many elements involved.
Jon said he got where Ronnie was coming from. He said that it was done in a way that no one will forget. Gary said she reacted and that was great. She asked if it was what she thought it was. Gary said that Ronnie could have asked her to marry him at least but he didn't even do that. Howard took over and did it for him. Gary said it was so awkward as a listener to hear what was going on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said normally when people get engaged they're in the same room. He said he has a similar story to that. He said he directed his girlfriend to look around like Stephanie did. He said he told her to look and she dug it out. He got down on one knee and told her how much he loves her and all of that. He said she said yes. He said it was very similar to what Ronnie did but Ronnie blew it in the end. Gary said Ronnie is one of those guys who will think about it for a while and then say he could have done a better job. Rahsaan asked if he will go home and do it better tonight. Jon said he doesn't think he will. Gary said he'd better.
Jon said Ronnie looked shell shocked after today's show. Gary said he walked out of the studio and applause broke out. Gary said they all know and love Ronnie and Stephanie. He said that this wedding would be really fun. He said Ronnie just said ''Ah get outta here'' and kept walking. They spent a little more time talking about that and went to break.
Jon said the award means a lot to Howard. Theo said Howard has super interesting hair for sure. Gary said it is his hair and he's known him for 30 years and it's been the same all along. He said people don't believe it's real.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thinks Howard actually made it worse by doing the proposal. She said she'd be humiliated if her man couldn't even ask if she'd marry him. She said Ronnie will never say those words to her and it's out there for millions to hear. Gary said he gets that she's seeing it that way but they know each other. He said there is no huge expectation from her. He said they have an understanding and they communicate the way they communicate. Gary said it doesn't have to be that way for everyone but maybe that's what the caller needs.
Jon said the thing that registers with him is the relationship between Howard and Ronnie. He said he thinks Ronnie sees it as an Oh my god moment. He said that Howard is the one who got them together and got them engaged. Jon said he thinks that Howard getting involved is a big deal. Theo said that he is his limo driver and this is a changing of the guards. He said that Howard flew him to the promised land.
Gary said that it makes sense for him to do this. He said that he's giving something to the show that he knew Howard would love. Jon said he did say ''Anything for the show'' as he walked out of the studio.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what the chances of Ronnie asking Howard to be his best man are. Gary said the smart move would be his son. He said he believes Howard will make that hurtful preemptive strike and tell Ronnie not to ask him to be his best man.
Jon asked if Howard goes to the wedding. Gary said yes. Jon asked if he goes to the bachelor party. Gary said probably. Jon said he doesn't think he'll ask him to be his best man. Gary said he thinks he will ask him to be an usher. He said he has to do it to make it as easy as possible for Howard. He said it has to be in the city and he doesn't have to be at rehearsals and all of that. Gar said he and Howard went to a friends wedding a few years ago and it was easy for both of them. He said if Ronnie makes it that way for him then he thinks Howard will do it.
Jon asked who else would be part of the wedding party. Gary said he thinks JD and maybe even Lonnie. He said that he thinks Ronnie's best friends are Richard and guys like that. He said he thinks his son will be his best man and maybe Howard will be part of it. He said it is Stephanie's first wedding though so who knows.
Jon asked if Scott will be involved. Gary said he and Ronnie aren't as close as they used to be. He said he thinks they're still friends though.
Theo asked if Ronnie is going to drive Howard to the wedding. Gary said they can't do that. Jon said that would be pretty funny.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that 56 percent voted that Ronnie will drag this out. Gary said his preliminary discussion with Ronnie supports that poll. He said he asked him about it and Ronnie seemed to be leaning that way. Jon wrapped up and ended the show around Noon.
Howard started the show talking about some new headphones he's trying out. Robin said she can't see them. Howard said she's damn right. He said she must be jealous of him. Robin said she is. Robin asked how they sound. Howard asked if she asked how it sounds. He said they're good. He said he might go with them. Robin asked if they hurt his years. Howard said not now. He said ask him at the end of the show. Robin said she has wanted those for a long time. Robin asked why they should wear these things that mash their hair. Howard said they're kind of a pain in the ass to stick in your years. He said it's not hard to put them in though.
Howard asked Robin if she saw this week's The Bachelor. Robin said not yet. She said he's a mess though. Howard said he loves that show. He said it's great TV. He said you can call him gay if you want but the show is great. They had an intro from Andy Cohen warning the listeners that the show is about to get gay.
Robin said some people get famous because of who their parents are. Robin said Patrick Schwarzenegger is dating hot models and Miley Cyrus and he's in the news because of who his parents are. Robin said he's just a kid who goes to USC.
Howard said it was such a foreign thing to him. He said he went to buy a house when he had his first kid. He said he went out and tried to figure out how much money he could get out of the bank and all of that. Howard said he'd go to bid on houses and rich kids would come in and make an all cash deal. He said that wasn't fair. He said he thought they had to level the playing field. Robin said she has a friend who is having that problem.
Howard said he could never accept that being Ben Stern's son never got him laid. He said he had a dream about his father and grandfather and he's all disturbed by it now. He said it's weird. He said he has to bring it to the psychiatrist.
Howard said Flat Ronnie is a hit. Howard said he has a picture from a stewardess who sent a picture from Liberia. Howard said that you can see the pictures up on their web site. Howard said there are more from Dallas at the Kennedy Assassination site. Howard said they have some from France and all over Europe. Howard said for a good laugh go on HowardStern.com. Howard said here are some from New Orleans and from Daytona. Howard said Flat Ronnie is all over the place.
Howard said this proposal kind of happened yesterday. Howard said Ronnie was blaming him for forcing him into it. Howard said they listened back to it in the car yesterday. Howard said the fan reaction was what you'd expect. He said they though it was the worst proposal that they'd ever heard. Howard said they went out and asked some people on the street about what they thought of it. Howard played the clip and people were saying it was a horrible proposal. People thought Ronnie was a jerk the way he was talking to Stephanie.
Howard said Ronnie technically hasn't even proposed to her. He said he did it for him. Howard said you'd think he was the stud of the century the way he treats her. Howard said he's yelling at her to get his derby and then get it out of the sneaker. Howard said someone said he's about as romantic as a gang bang.
Howard played a few voicemails they got about Ronnie's proposal where people said they'd be humiliated if they were Stephanie.
Howard said he's sure the cock ring came out last night. Robin asked how many came out. Howard said it was a 3 cock ring night. Howard and Fred went into their Ronnie impressions and goofed on him for a couple of minutes. They were telling Stephanie to get out the ring from dirty underwear and things like that.
Howard said they should have a hashtag for shitty proposal lines. Howard and Fred came up with some. Howard said that you can have names that you call your girlfriend when you propose.
Ronnie came in while Howard and Fred were doing their thing. Howard said that was probably the worst proposal in the history of proposals. Howard asked if he fucked with the cock ring last night. Ronnie laughed. Howard said she got it good. Ronnie said she's got the fucked up leg so he can't do that. He said between the phone calls on her end and people coming out of the woodwork... He said they're all interested in the bachelor party. He said Lonnie called him and said they're going to take the bachelor party on tour. He said they have 28 clubs and they're going to fly to about 10. Howard said they're going to honeymoon at Rick's.
Howard asked if anyone was upset about it. Ronnie said no. He said they were all good. Howard said Bill Clinton wants to come to his bachelor party. Ronnie said that he got a voicemail message from Shuli calling him a fucking idiot. He said Bubba the Love Sponge called him last night too. He said that Bubba told him he's in shit city right now but he told him he'll be fine.
Ronnie said he heard from some people at America's Got Talent. He said that it was Brandon Riggs. Howard said he has to get out of there. He said he wants to be a number 1 guy but he's a number 5 guy. Ronnie said they told him they miss them over there at America's Got Talent. Howard asked if he got any gossip from them. Ronnie said he didn't. He said he heard from a lot of people he hasn't heard from.
Ronnie said things got romantic about 10:30 last night. He said that he did use one cock ring. He said it worked really well too. He said he had his ring on and she had her ring on and the Nuvaring in. Howard asked where he keeps the rings. Ronnie said their in his drawer under his socks. Howard and Fred were doing their Ronnie impressions talking about that stuff.
Ronnie said he told Stephanie not to wear the ring to work. He said she's very hard on jewelry. He said she does surgery and stuff. Howard said she should get Tile. He said you can attach that to it and you won't lose it. Ronnie said he told her to get a cubic zirconium replica. Howard asked if they're going to have a wedding. Ronnie said they're going to have a party. Robin said she told him they have to have some kind of ceremony. Ronnie said they will. Howard asked if she has any say in it at all. Ronnie said they do talk these things out. Howard asked if he's not going to want a ceremony and refuse to go. Ronnie said that they will have one but it won't be a real official one. He said she called it a ceremony of love. Howard said he can see that after hearing that proposal.
Howard asked if they're going to have kids. Ronnie said he can't hear him. He said they have kids. He said they have pets. He said Stephanie has a career and she doesn't want to be tied down. Howard and Fred talked about the kid and made up stuff Ronnie might tell the kid.
Howard said they have to have JD at the ceremony. Howard said he's lucky if he shows up to it. Ronnie said he has to show up. Howard said he should have Dennis stand for him at the wedding. Howard asked if there's anyone there that he won't invite from work. Ronnie said he'd invite everyone. Robin asked how many people will be there. Ronnie said leave him alone right now. He said one of his NASCAR guys called last night. He said he owns a racetrack so they're going to have a Ronnie and Stephanie 150 race. Howard said all of his dreams are coming true.
Howard asked if there was romance last night. Ronnie said she was on fire last night. He said she was revved up from that ring. Howard asked if there was anal. Ronnie said there wasn't time. He said it was pretty quick. Fred said ''Let me munch on your box and throw it in. Oh!'' as Ronnie. That got Ronnie laughing and asking where that came from. They were going nuts with their Ronnie impressions.
Howard asked if he went down on her at all. Ronnie said it was quick. He said they didn't have time for that. He said they were constantly on the phone last night. He said it didn't end. He said between 11 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon he got about 3,000 tweets. He said it was nuts.
Howard asked if he's stressed about it. Ronnie said not at all. He said it all came out of left field. He said that it wasn't expected so he was thrown off at first. Howard threw out a few more lines and tried to out do Fred with his comments. Howard talked about shitting on her chest and things like that. Howard said out of all of the voices that Fred does, is Ronnie his favorite. Fred said it is by far.
Ronnie said he heard from all of the Howard TV guys. He said Richie and Rachel are having another baby. He said that he heard from a lot of the guys. He said he heard from Doug Goodstein this morning. He mentioned some of the other guys he heard from too.
Howard said Ronnie used to be the guy who said ''no more fucking wives shit.'' He said now he's back in it. Ronnie asked where that was at. He said that was at a party Robin threw. Howard said no one cares.
Howard said he has more Ronnie stuff to get to. He said he'll do it later. Howard played a Ronnie song parody and then went to break.
Howard said the guys said JD has a weird reaction to Peter Frampton's name. Howard said he thinks that it's a bad name or something. Gary said he's not sure how he went through life with that horrible name. JD came in and said they're trying to escalate it. He said some people don't like their own names. He said they were in a meeting and trying to think of different things and he thought maybe before he was a rock star that name he can see people making fun of and he wondered if people made fun of it. Howard said he thinks it's kind of a cool name. JD said he can hear people making fun of it. He said this was before he was a rock star. Howard said he thinks it's a cool name. JD said that's now though. Howard asked how people would make fun of the name. JD said they'd just say ''Frampton'' and think it was funny.
Howard said the guys said JD is hung up on last names with the letter F. JD said there is something about names like that and people like to make fun of them. Gary said JD was talking about it in the meeting and he kept saying ''Frampton'' like the name was funny by itself. JD said it's a name that can be made fun of. Howard said JD doesn't even have a thought about it though. Howard said it's a weird thought to have.
Howard had a new Daniel Mendelson song about JD. Howard found that and played it. Howard said Peter Frampton is coming in today. He said at some point in his career he was a hard rocker. He said JD thinks it's a funny name. JD said it's not a funny name but he can see possibly him not liking it. JD said he doesn't know. Gary said in six years of meetings this is the first time JD has focused on a name. Howard said in JD's mind he may have had a hard time with his name.
Howard had a clip of Beetlejuice trying to say Peter Frampton. He wasn't able to get Frampton down. He kept saying something other than Frampton. Howard said they tried to do a bit with Beet about the Zika virus. Howard said it's not easy to work with him. Howard played the bit they came up with where they had Beet talking about the Zika virus. Howard said he has the making of that bit. Howard said it's not easy to work with the guy. In the clip Richard was asking Beet to say his lines and Beet would say some of what he was asked to say but then he'd go off on his own. Richard was asking him to say ''If you're pregnant'' and Beet said ''I ain't pregnant!''
Howard said every time Beetlejuice comes they write these bits and they think they can get him to repeat and he never does. Howard said he doesn't read and the bits never work out. He said it's like getting a golden retriever to do algebra.
Howard said he hopes Ben does better in the future. Ben said maybe he'll do better in Super Wednesday. Howard let him go a short time later.
Dr. Oz asked Charlie what he would say to the family now if he did say it. Charlie said he has to move forward so he has to move forward. Howard said he blamed testosterone cream on his crazy behavior. Howard said he really gets jealous hearing these clips. He said he would love to have him in there talking about this stuff.
Howard wondered what he was doing with the testosterone cream. Robin said he was probably trying to get a hard on. Howard said they did call him trying to get him on the show. Howard said Charlie was on the line with the lawyer on the line. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on but it's fascinating. Howard said he was on top of the world and all he had to do was show up for that sitcom. Howard said it doesn't happen for people and all he had to do was show up. Howard said that was the big money. He said all he had to do was fuck some whores and keep his mouth shut. Howard said if testosterone cream can do that to you it's going to be the hottest thing on the internet.
Howard said they dusted off some Charlie Sheen impressions and called into some internet shows. Howard said that people go nuts when they think Charlie is calling their show. Howard said they're all hung up about keeping the show clean but they're on the internet so he's not sure why. Howard said this is imaginary Charlie calling an internet radio show. In the clip they had fake Charlie calling into shows and the shows thinking it was really him. They had Charlie saying some wild stuff and cursing. The hosts said there are no curse words allowed on their show. They eventually hung up on him. Howard went to break after that.
The caller said that he started listening in Philadelphia on WYSP. Howard asked if he was on that long ago. The caller said his math must be off. The caller said he's 46 and he started listening at 16. Howard said that he thinks his math must be off. Robin said they were on K-Rock for 20 years and they started on Philly about 3 years in. Benjy looked it up and they say they were on in Philly in 1986. Howard did the math and figured the caller was right. Howard said that kind of math might have taken all day in anyone else's hands.
The caller said with Howard's prediction so far with Trump he might be right. He said it might be Trump vs. Hillary. Howard said that he turned to Robin on the air when he heard Trump was entering and said he could be the nominee. Howard said he can read the mood. Howard said that he was able to read his mother's mood and he has super powers to be able to read the wind. Howard said he knew Fred's laugh was phony and he knew Trump was going to win. Howard said he told Robin right away it would be Trump and Hillary. Howard said everyone thought Bernie Sanders was going to unseat Hillary. Howard said he was right. Howard said no one wants to give him credit for knowing things.
Howard asked the caller what he wanted to know. The caller wondered who will win. Howard said he thinks Hillary will win. Howard said Donald is a great guest and a friend of the show. He said what will happen is the republicans are going to be upset that Trump is the nominee. He said that many of them are going to vote for Hillary. Howard said they can't take the nomination away from Trump because he's winning it fair and square. Howard said Trump calls him on a regular basis and he thinks that he could be Attorney General if he wanted to be.
Howard said he's been a Hillary supporter for a long time too. He said he donated to her a while back. Howard said that she doesn't acknowledge that but he has supported her. Howard said that he thinks she will win.
Howard said Donald Trump has captured the attention of the republicans. Howard said he has told us what is going to happen since day one. Howard said Hillary will be president. Howard said Trump should not want to be president. Howard said that would be a come down for him if he did become president. The caller asked if he thinks Trump could win. Howard said he thinks that the republican party will take him down. Howard said he has talked to Trump about this since day one and he's warned him about what will happen. Howard said that's it. It's not a political show. He let the caller go after that.
Howard said Melania Trump would be a great first lady. Howard said she's got great tits and all of that. Robin said Trump knows how to pick women. Howard said he sure does. Howard said she snapped right back after having that kid. Howard said his name is Baron. Howard said Donald is so nice to his kids. He said he lets them run shit for his company. Howard said that's a guy you want for a father. Howard said his father didn't do jack shit for him. Robin said her dad co-signed for a loan for a car for her. Howard said he didn't even know that about him. Howard said that makes him feel a little better about him. Robin said he did try to help once he got over that other stuff. Howard asked if she put out at all for that. Robin said she did not. Robin said she stopped touching everyone. She said she went for 6 or 7 years without human touch after that. Robin said she didn't even hug anyone. Howard asked who got the first hug. Robin said she had a friend who ran up to her and hugged her and she froze. Robin said she didn't even return the hug. Robin said the friendship went away after that. Robin said she just couldn't move. Howard said she is a survivor. Howard said she did try to hug. Howard asked if that was her vegetable period. Robin said it could have been.
Howard said he can't believe that her father co-signed for a loan. Robin said he did have good credit. Robin said he did keep a roof over their heads. She said at least he did that. Howard did his Ham Hands Bill impression of her dad talking to her and telling her to come over and give her a hug. Robin said when her dad had Alzheimer's she was hugging her mother and her dad wanted one too but she ran for her car. Fred played Ham Hand's Bill's bit where he is playing Robin's dad. Howard said he thinks he was at his birthday show. Howard said he doesn't see Bill much.
Howard asked Robin if she ever imagined that her molestation would ever turn into a bit. Robin said never. She said at the time she was devastated. Howard said he sounds kind of like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Howard said he likes that.
Howard said he has tape that he thinks the audience would find fascinating. Howard said Mick the Nerd went to a job interview place and it might be the worst job interview ever. Howard said you listen to it and it's everything you shouldn't do. Howard said he should probably break first though. Fred confirmed. Howard went to break after that.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who asked if he's ever thought about dropping on in The Five. Howard said no. He said he has turned down a lot of things. He said he has no desire to go on shows. Howard said he likes to watch The Five but he doesn't want to go on the show. Howard said he can't jerk off to the show if he's on it.
Howard said he eats dinner around 4 and he watches Neal Cavuto. He said if he eats around 5 he watches The Five. Tommy said Neal has that vocal fry thing going on. Howard said he has to stop interrupting his guests all the time too. Tommy said Howard likes to brag and asked if he has heard some quote. Howard said he has to get out of this call. He let Tommy go after that. Howard said he had to hang up, he's sorry. Howard said Tommy has been on a mad tear lately about The Five.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would interview Taylor Swift now that she's won a Grammy. Howard said if she wanted to come on the show he would. Howard said everyone is high today. He said everyone must be on testosterone cream. Howard said he's not sure what's going on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they ripped Howard off on the Larry Wilmore show. He said they have a Flat Larry on the show. He said he replaced the Colbert show. Howard said there are so many fucking rip offs of the show that he's let go of it. Howard said that he is the originator of a lot of things and it kind of gets him when he sees people ripping him off.
The caller asked if he can stop turning the show into a Queen for a Day show. He said that he has to stop giving things to people who beg for stuff. Howard said he is such a soft touch. He said he's going to try to be a colder person. The caller said that it's not about being cold. He said he's gotten through a lot of tough times with the show but he's never asked for anything. Howard let the caller go a short time later. Howard said that he's going to do a bit where Flat Ronnie fucks Flat Larry in the ass.
Robin asked what he wore. Howard said you find out at the end because the woman evaluates him. Howard said he had a shirt on and she could see his super hero t-shirt on underneath.
Howard played the clip and the woman is asking Mick why he left his last job. Mick talked about how it was interfering with his schedule and things like that. He said he was a photographer and he was being told what to shoot and he didn't like that. Mick also talked about his previous jobs and how he's a gardener for his parents right now. Mick was asked to talk about why he would fit in a fast paced job environment. Mick said he does things at his own pace.
Howard said in this next clip Mick talks about being a social introvert and not being a team player. Mick talked about allergies he has to crustaceans and vast amounts of animal dander. Howard said Gary the Conqueror is a better job interview. Howard said he'll work whatever hours you want him to. Howard said no one asked Mick what he's allergic to. He said he just shares.
Howard said this woman asks Mick to tell a funny story about himself. He tells a story about his moustache freezing off. Howard played that clip and Mick talked about how he was biking home and his moustache fell off. He said that's one of the only times he's ever trimmed his moustache. Howard said then he asks for an annual salary of $12,000. Howard said that's the poverty level. Howard played that clip and Mick said he's looking for maybe $8 an hour. He said it depends on the job. The woman asked how much a year he's looking for. Mick said $1000 a month maybe. He said he thinks his skill set is worth about that much at the moment.
Howard said this woman needs a trap door to get him out of the room. He played another clip where she asked Mick if he could get to a job if he had one. Mick said he doesn't have a car and only a bike so he'd like something close to home. He was also asked about references and he gave Howard's name.
Howard asked if Wolfie sat there quietly. Wolfie said he did. He just let Mick go. Howard said this woman is trying to get something normal out of Mick and asked if he could be a musical instrument, what would he be. Mick mentions an instrument that is completely bizarre. Howard played that clip and Mick said he'd be a Keytar. He was making the sounds of what it would sound like. Howard said if someone asks you that question then you know the person wants you out of the office.
Howard said Wolfie talked to the woman after the interview and she said he was the strangest person she's ever interviewed. Howard said that she said he's honest to a fault as the one positive thing. Howard said they asked her where he rates on a scale of 10 and she said she'd give him a 1 or a 2. She said the only thing worse than what happened there was if he just didn't show up.
Howard said this woman is great. Howard asked how he found her. Wolfie said he found her trough a friend. Howard played another clip of the woman talking about the clothes he was wearing and how she saw a super hero t-shirt under his shirt. She also said that it would be nice if he cleaned himself up including his filthy glasses. Howard said he could have gotten a job out of this if he was any good. Wolfie said that she got him with the shorter beard too. He said it's not November when his beard is gigantic.
Robin said even Mark the Bagger can work. Howard said he has a guy on the phone who claims he gave Mick a job. Howard asked if this helped Mick out at all. Wolfie said that he did think he grew during the interview.
Howard took the call from the guy who claimed he hired Mick. The caller said he owns a fitness company. He said he heard about Mick when he was on the show and he felt bad for the guy. He said he thought he had some skills in web design. He said he reached out to him and asked about his web design skills. He said he was going to hire him because he was on the show. He said he got on the phone and gave him access to all of his accounts. He said the bottom line is that he hasn't heard from him since. He gave him access to the web sites and he never did anything.
Howard said that would be a good job for him. Howard said that was a long way to go for that story though. Robin kept saying ''Nick'' while she was talking about him. She didn't get that it was Mick. Howard had to keep correcting her.
Howard said Mick is something else. Wolfie asked if he can ask Robin a question. Howard said he has had enough air time. Wolfie asked if Robin has ever had a pregnancy scare. Robin said no. Howard said she has had unprotected sex with some people but it's odd that it's never happened. Robin said when she was being molested by her father she didn't know how babies were born so she wondered if she was going to get pregnant. Howard asked when her titties started to bud. Robin said she was 12. She said her dad was molesting her before that. Howard let out a sigh. He said he's just thinking about it. Robin said ''don't.''
Howard said he has to prepare for Frampton to come in. Howard said he has like 5 guitars over there. Howard said he has to find out how to be a master guitar player. Robin said it's not easy. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said they have Peter Frampton there. Howard said he can't believe he's there. Howard asked if the guys were there. They weren't on microphone. Peter said it's nice to be there. Howard said he thought he lived there in Westchester. Peter said he did for 13 years or so. He said he lives in Nashville now. He said it's lovely there. Peter said he lived there in the 90s too. He said that this is their first meeting. Peter said they met at a Black Crowes gig years ago. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard didn't remember that.
Howard said they're going to start in right away with the guitar. Howard said Peter was born in England and he was watching TV around the age of 5 or so. Peter said he was 7 when he first picked up an instrument. Howard said they had a recital on the TV and a piano was being played. He told his parents that something was off with the piano. Howard said later they came on and said there was sheet music on the strings and Peter picked up on that. Howard asked if the parents thought they had a musical prodigy on their hands. Peter said that's what happened to Adele at the Super Bowl too. He said he could tell that something was off. Peter said every time he went to a certain note they had dropped the microphone or something. Howard said that's why Adele sounded off. Peter said he would be affected by that too. Howard asked if he would stop the performance. Peter said he can't say. He said he thinks the show must go on is what we think. He said she's so incredible that something had to be wrong. He said he wouldn't blame her but who knows.
Howard asked if his parents signed him up for music lessons right away. Peter said no because he hadn't picked up an instrument yet. Howard asked if he knew he was musical and didn't know what to do about it. Peter said they had a show over there called Six Flag Special and he saw some things on that show. He said he saw Eddie Cochran and Buddy Holly and people like that.
Howard said that Peter's grandmother had a Banjo-Ukulele hybrid that she thought he could play. He started out on that instrument. Peter said that's right. Howard said then he took lessons. Howard said he doesn't shy away from admitting that. Howard said he took classical guitar lessons. Howard asked if that's why he's a great guitar player now. Peter said he would say it gave him the rudiments of fingering on the fret board. Howard asked if the teacher recognized something with him. Peter said she never told him that if she did. Howard asked what he played when he was a kid. Peter said he would play The Shadows. He said Cliff Richard had a backup band that was like the Beatles before the Beatles.
Howard said he read that Peter went to the same school as David Bowie did. Howard said they were very close friends. Howard said they played guitar together. Peter said they were three years older than him so they might as well have been 30. He said they were in his father's art class for 3 years too. Howard asked if he recognized greatness in Bowie at that time. Peter said he didn't know. He said he saw Bowie playing sax and singing with a band and he thought that's what he wanted to be doing except with a guitar. Howard said they always say about Bowie that he wanted to be a star. Howard said Peter didn't have the big game plan to be a star. He just wanted to play guitar. Howard asked why he never hooked up with him and played with Bowie. Peter said he did play with him in the glass spider tour. Howard said he gave him a job opening up for him. Peter said that Bowie has had a lot of incredible guitar players open for him. He said he chose him to play on the tour as part of the band.
Howard asked if anything intimidates him. Peter said bluegrass does. He said it's a different technique. He said he's not a big finger star guy. Howard asked if he still plays every day. Peter said he does. He said after a tour he might put it away for a few days. He said it's a passion. Howard asked if there's anything left to learn. Peter said there's plenty to learn. He said he'll never be as good as he wants to be.
Howard asked if he can write out a song in notes. Peter said he can do it over a matter of days. Howard asked what song he wrote first. Peter said he wrote one and his mom helped him with the lyrics. He said he had no way of recording it so he doesn't have it. He said it was about babbling brooks and stuff. He said he was 7 or 8 at the time. Howard said he was good at nothing at that age. Howard said to have a passion at that age is really something. Howard said the only way to be a master is to play over and over.
Howard said at the age of 14 Peter worked in a guitar store. Howard said he dropped out of school and told his dad he was going to quit. He said his father told him he had to make 15 pounds a week to do that. Peter said his mom had to help with that. He said she was given a scholarship to RADO in England. He said that all she needed was 50 pounds for the entrance fee and her mother told her no.
Howard asked what bands he was in first. Peter said he was in The Little Ravens and then The True Beats. He said he was just 11 or 12 at the time. Howard said then the Rolling Stones had a show where they ended up picking up their band. Howard asked how old he was at the time. Peter said he was 14 when he was in the Preachers. Howard said he must have been really popular. Peter said that he had people asking him to play stuff all the time. Howard said he must have gotten laid when he was a young guy. Howard said the guitar made him the hippest kid on the planet. Peter said he didn't know anything other than that so he didn't think about being hip. He said that they did bring him out for various events. He said he'd play for school plays and stuff.
Howard said Peter never had the struggle to make it big. He got into it at 14. Peter said his son is 27 and he's phenomenal. He said that it's the worst time to be into the business now though. Howard asked if he's into rock. Peter said he wishes he was born in the 70s. Howard said that was a great time to be a musician.
Howard said Peter put out some studio albums that didn't do well. Howard said he must have been confused by that. Howard said he had some success with Humble Pie. Howard said he went solo and didn't sell a lot. Howard said that he must have wondered what he was doing. Peter said that didn't really happen until after the success of ''Frampton Comes Alive!'' happened.
Howard said his albums didn't do so well commercially so he went out and did his solo thing. Howard said the live Humble Pie album came out and it was huge. He asked if he was regretting leaving that band. Peter said he was at the time. He said the big song was Doctor. Howard asked who came up with it. Peter played some of it and said he did. Howard asked if he liked being in Humble Pie. Peter said he did but it was a coming of age band for him. Howard and Peter talked about how Humble Pie got started after his friend Steve was in Small Faces.
Howard asked if he ever became a drug guy. Peter said the 70s were about that. He said he stared doing some of that a little. Howard said that pot makes him paranoid. Peter said he plays about 1/3 the speed. Howard asked if he's shocked by guys who can go out and do a show. Peter said he doesn't get that because he's affected easily. Howard said Jimi Hendrix was like that. Howard said that Jimi was a showman with that guitar. Howard asked if he ever thought he shouldn't be playing guitar after seeing him. Peter said they played with him at a show once. Howard asked how they got billed with Hendrix if they were a pop band. Peter said someone thought it would be a good idea. Howard asked if he got to hang with Hendrix. Peter said he met him but didn't get to hang with him.
Howard asked if Peter has ever asked people to play with him just to learn from someone. Peter said he has met some people who have a great style and they would jam. He said he got together with Peter Green from Fleetwood Mac and played. He said they were jamming away and the guy asked him what sign he is. He said he's a Taurus and the guy said he doesn't like Taurus' and walked away. He said he's still a fan but he would have been fine just ending the song.
Howard asked about Eddie Van Halen. Peter said he's a very unique guy who reinvented that whole thing. Howard said he doesn't like Taurus' either. He said that's such a weird thing. Howard said he'd never get over something like that.
Howard said they're talking about Humble Pie and leaving the band. Howard said the band hits and he's left. Howard asked if he was depressed about the business. Peter said no because he knew the album was going to be the biggest one. He said it was what the audience wanted. Howard said live is what the audience wants. Peter said that it was the same thing with him. He said he did some studio albums and then the live one was a hit.
Howard asked Peter if he ever got depressed that his albums didn't do that well. Peter said he didn't think about it that much. Howard said that the record company gave him 4 albums and they stuck with him. He asked who stuck with him. Peter said it was Jerry Moss and Herb Alpert. He said they were the misfits of the record industry. He said it was A&M records. He said they would give you all the help you wanted or leave you alone. Howard asked what he wanted. Peter said he wanted to be left alone for the most part. Howard said the pressure comes when you're not doing well. He said it is a business so you have to do well. Howard asked if he had any guilt over not tapping into what the public wanted. Peter said they told him when it's right they'll have a big hit. He said they wanted to stick with him. Peter said he never felt guilt. He said when they did the live album they stuck to the single album instead of a double like Humble Pie. He said he went to Electric Lady studios after not going there for years and years. He said Jerry Moss sat in front of the speakers and listened to the single album and he asked ''Where's the rest?''
Howard said that album, ''Frampton Comes Alive!'' becomes a success. Peter said about 2 months after it came out he was told by his manager that he was number 1 in Billboard. He said that he felt good about that. He said about a month later he called again and asked if he was sitting down again. He said that he told him he had broken a record and he was the single biggest selling album of all time. He said he got nervous after that. Peter said he thinks there were a few things in the way. He said it took 6 years to do that album and he had 3 months to write another album. Peter said he wishes he had taken more time on that next album. He said the old rules were to just take advantage of the fame. He said that's why they rushed it.
Howard said after that album hit he was playing to like 100,000 people. Peter said at one show it was 120,000 people. Howard said he wasn't enjoying it because he was playing for so many people. Howard asked if there's a change for him when people get jealous of him. Peter laughed and said he's heard that some people may have been jealous. He said that he has heard stories but nothing has ever been said to his face.
Howard said Peter was working with George Harrison too. That's when he found out about the talkbox. Peter said he did and he would listen to American music on a station in the UK and he loved some sounds that they had on the show. He said they were tracking ''All Things Must Pass'' at the time. Howard said that was a big deal for George. Peter said he met George through a friend who sang some stuff for Humble Pie. Peter said he was asked to go in and meet George. Howard asked if he was shitting his pants. Peter said he was. He said he was meeting a Beatle. He said George knew him from The Heard and Humble Pie. He said George asked him if he wanted to play. He said he got the red Les Paul and asked him to play. He said he played something for him and eventually became good friends with George. He stayed at his place for a weekend a few times. Howard said he was a very nice man too. Peter said he really was and he was a good friend.
Howard asked if he ever wrote anything with George. Peter said he was only 21 at the time and he was in the presence of a Beatle. He said you just defer it. Howard asked if he heard stories from him about the Beatles. Peter said he did. Howard said it's like being ring side for history. Peter said it really was.
Howard asked if Peter has ever heard a song that he wished he had written. Peter said the song ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' is one. Howard said that's a great song. Howard said that Peter got to play with Jack Bruce too. Howard said he's a great musician too. Howard said he heard some of the stuff he's played with Jack. Howard said Jack was very ornery. Peter said they hit it off and he was very nice to him. Howard said when Peter played with him he thinks that Jack didn't like him until he started playing. Peter said that he did get a smile from a side look so he was happy about that.
Howard asked if he goes home and practices the song before performing with Jack. Peter said of course. He said he wanted to be exact with him. He said when he solo'd he wasn't doing Clapton. He said he did his own thing.
Howard asked Peter about playing with George Harrison and what they played. Peter said that they did a lot of stuff and they had a killer of a producer working with them. It was Phil Spector. Peter said that Phil wanted more acoustics so he went in and over dubbed on some other stuff. He said they went to Abbey Road again and did more stuff for Phil. Howard asked if he had a sense that this was going to be a history making album. Peter said they had some great stuff on the album and you knew as soon as you heard it had that wonderful sound. Howard asked if he went out to hear what he had done on the album. Peter said he did go get one. He said he was really part of the acoustic chorus. He said he knows the tracks he was on specifically. He said he played rhythm on ''My Sweet Love'' too. He played a couple of seconds of that.
Howard said it's been some life for Peter. Howard said he's had it all. Peter said he doesn't remember some of that stuff.
Howard asked if people called and congratulated him on his album ''Frampton Comes Alive!'' being a big hit. Howard asked if the first hit was ''Show Me the way.'' Peter said it was. Howard asked how he wrote that. peter said he doesn't know that process. He said it just happens. He said he doesn't really sit down and do it like a job. Howard said he wrote that and ''Baby I Love Your Way'' on the same day. Howard asked how he did that. Peter said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he had a girl who inspired them. Peter said yes. He said they were written for someone. Howard asked if they were together or apart. Peter said they were apart at the time. He said the other woman was married at the time. He wasn't able to call her and tell her that they were about her. He said he may have had a longing for her. Howard asked if he hooked up with her eventually. Peter said they did. He said that he didn't want to be a home wrecker but he did get her. Howard asked if she was more attractive to him because she was taken. Peter said probably.
Howard had Peter play ''Show Me the Way'' after that. After the song Howard said that is a beautiful song. Howard said he took him right back to the island when he was writing it. Howard asked if he wrote it acoustically. Peter said he did. He said that he was nervous about doing an acoustic show but he just loves it now. Howard asked if it's hard to play the leads on that guitar. Peter said it is a little more difficult. He said that Django Reinhardt is so good and he remembers hearing him play when he was a kid.
Howard said that George Kennedy is sitting in playing with Peter today. Howard said that he has written for Garth Brooks and Bonnie Rait. Howard said Bonnie is a great guitar player too.
Howard said that Show Me the Way live shoots up the charts to number 6. Howard said it was the live version that did really well. Howard said Peter was doing shows and he didn't know that they were recording them. He said Peter did that Comes Alive album concert and said he wished they had recorded it. He asked who saved him that night. Peter said they had about 10,000 people in the audience that night and it was a great engineer who made it work. He said the sound of the room is phenomenal. He said the audience sounded ever bigger than it was. Howard said it all sounds great. He said it sounds like a crowed of 100,000. He said the talkbox thing was a novelty thing too and everyone loved it.
Howard said ''Baby I Love Your Way'' was another big hit for him. Peter talked about writing that song and how he did it while sitting outside. He played some of the chords that came to him that day. He said he thinks he was channeling Blackbird by McCartney. He said he picked up on the way Paul plays and the chords were inspired by that. Howard asked how the song comes to him. Peter said he is taking in the scenery and he's writing what's there. Howard said he has no ability to write a song. Howard said he sits there like a lobster and turns red in the sun. Howard you have to be in touch with your emotions to write a song like that. Peter said he wrote the first verse and the chorus that day. He said he had to write more after coming up with that.
Howard had Peter perform ''Baby I Love Your Way'' after that. After the song Howard said they nailed it. He said he's still got it. Howard asked if he's baffling that the songs are so great that everyone knows them but the studio version didn't get the big sales. Howard said that it must still piss Peter off. Peter said no. Howard said it has to bother him in some way. Peter said he's not sure why it's so successful. He said when he's in front of an audience there's something that comes out of him. He said that when you put that album on it just makes you smile. He said he thinks it's something he brings to the live show that he doesn't have in the studio. Howard said most people today can't do what he does live. Peter said he thinks it's what he does best.
Howard asked why Peter likes doing a cover of ''Norwegian Wood'' so much. Peter said it was one of his favorite songs and he had never played it before. He said that he chose to play it when he was on the Ringo tour. He said it was like an homage to the Beatles. Howard asked him to do some of that too. Peter had to get a different guitar. Howard asked if they're just different tunings with the guitars they have there. Peter said they are. He said some are back up. He had 20 there with him.
Howard asked what the song is about. Howard said he never understood it but he loves the song. Peter knew what it was about and explained it to Howard. Howard said he's glad he explained it to him. Peter performed the song ''Norwegian Wood'' after that.
Howard said he loves that. He said if he hadn't explained that song he wouldn't have known. Howard said that was the story of his life and he didn't know it. Peter had explained that it's about a girl who gives the guy wood and then just goes to bed.
Howard asked Peter if it was tough losing his hair. Peter said it was. He said that he lost it in his 40s. He said it started to leave in droves. Howard asked if people didn't recognize him. Peter said yes. He said that he'd give a credit card to someone and they'd say that looks like a familiar name but they don't recognize him.
Howard said it must be great to be able to write and sing your own songs. Howard said that Pete Townshend can't sing. Peter said Pete can sing. He said he just chooses to sing when he wants to. He said they're good friends too.
Howard asked about the song ''Do You Feel Like We Do'' because he used to play the live version that lasted 14 minutes. Howard said that they had to do some kind of radio edit. Peter said that WPLJ wanted an edit but WNEW played the full version. He said that he'd just turn to WNEW to listen to it. Howard said the song was so great because it gave him time to regroup when he was on the air. Howard asked if that's his biggest song. Peter said it might be. He said he can't not play it in a concert. He said he'd be lynched if he didn't.
Howard asked if that was another quick song to write. Peter said they were jamming one day and he played that riff. He said the guys told him to wind it back about 45 seconds and they came up with a song based on that. He said he had come up with another bit the night before and he worked with the two to write the song. Peter said he was working on a hangover that day and that's what the song is about. Howard asked Peter about smoking in the past and when he gave that up. Peter said he gave it up in his 40s. Howard said that Keith Richards' lungs are somehow able to stand up to that.
Peter talked about listening to WNEW and heard about the guitar players they were thinking about using to replace Mick Taylor. Peter said he heard his name mentioned. He said he thinks he would have joined them if they had asked but then he's sure they wouldn't let him play his own solos. Howard said some bands you just don't quit. Howard said it would be hard for him to be in some bands because he wouldn't be able to do his own thing. Peter said he might be dead by now. Maybe not. He said maybe he'd still be there.
Howard asked Peter to do one more song. He asked him to do ''Do You Feel Like We Do'' so Peter and George did that one. After the song Howard said look at these two congratulating each other. Howard said they were smiling at each other. Peter said he likes playing with Gordon and swapping off with the guitar. Howard asked if they did something new there. Peter said they did. Gordon said it's never lost on him because he's playing next to Peter Frampton. Howard said that sounded really great. Howard asked if it's on the new collection of music. Peter said it is. Howard said that's smart. Robin asked how you know that song is a 14 minute song. Peter said you don't. He said the crowd went nuts over the song and he just milked it.
Howard gave Peter some plugs for the new album and his web site. Howard asked if he wants to sleep with Robin. Howard said she's looking. Robin said she's not a home wrecker. Howard said she is available to him if he's interested. Peter said very good then. Howard said he would have him do 50 more songs if he could. Howard said that was really great.
Howard asked if he's in the rock and roll hall of fame. Peter said he is not. Peter said he has no clue why. Howard asked if it bothers him. Peter said he's cool with what hasn't happened yet. He said if it happens that will be a surprise. He said in 2005 he went back to A&M he got a Grammy from doing an acoustic album. He said you never know what's going to happen and he likes that. Howard said he's been in so many great bands so what's the rub with the hall of fame. Peter said he'd like to be in there but it's up to them. He said Ahmet Ertegun was really on his side but they lost him. Howard said that's weird.
Howard wrapped up and gave Peter some more plugs. They went to break a short time later. They played Jack Bruce performing ''Sunshine of Your Love'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were going to break.
Howard said this year Cheap Trick finally made it in. Robin said she thinks they can take credit for that. Howard said they can take credit for just about everything in show business.
Howard said it's time for news. They played a song parody about Robin to the tune of ''Do You Feel Like We Do''. Howard played another one to the tune of another Frampton song. Howard said that's from Psych. Howard said as soon as they announced he Frampton was coming in they got a bunch of songs about Robin to his music.
Robin started her news asking what you do if a family member goes on a shooting spree and you don't die. Robin said that everyone is trying to recover now. Howard asked what she's asking. Robin said if your kid shoots you hopefully you die and don't have to live while your kid is around. Howard said the kid is possessed. Howard said sometimes you want to blame the parents. Robin said they were arguing about getting up and getting ready for the day. This 16 year old grabbed a gun out of the closet and started shooting. Howard said he had a friend who had a kid who shot at him and he didn't get dessert for a month. Robin said the family members are expected to survive. Robin said the 16 year old has been arrested.
Robin read about how more than 180 of the richest people in the world are in the United States. Robin had a list from Forbes with the richest people. Robin said that Bill Gates is still the richest person in the world. Howard said he thinks that's great. He said he has 75 billion. Howard asked if there's anything in this world he can't have. He said there isn't. Howard said he can have whatever he wants. Howard said he would have a fleet of jets and an army. He said he'd take over a state and put in private air force and private military. Robin said there are probably laws against that. Howard said he'd have scientists inventing stuff for him like calorie free spaghetti. He said he'd tell Obama that he'd give him $100 million just to shit his pants on the air. Howard said he'd have all kinds of things like that going on. Howard asked what he'd have to pay to see Robin naked. Robin said about 10 billion. Howard said that's fine. He said he's sure he could get her for 10 million.
Robin read more about the richest people and read about a 19 year old billionaire. Robin said her 20 year old sister is also on the list.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great showcase from Peter Frampton. He said it won him back. He said sometimes they wear his music out but it was amazing. Howard said his version of Norwegian Wood was awesome. Howard said he always liked that guy. The caller said he always liked George Harrison too. Howard said the stories were great. He said he was 21 and played with George Harrison. Fred said with all of that talent he had and all of the access he had he should have been dead. Howard said that's what he was saying. Fred said he thinks that he's a great player and if he had joined the Stones it wouldn't have been good. He said he thinks they would have told him to tone it down. Howard said he doesn't get why Frampton and Bowie didn't do something together.
Howard asked how many primaries Trump won. Robin said he won most of them. Gary said he won 7 of them. Robin said she'll get to it.
Robin read a story about kissing. Howard said he hates the sound of kissing on TV and movies. Howard said Betty Thomas cut out the sound from all of his kissing in Private Parts. Robin said we're checking each other out with smell and taste when we kiss. Robin said we're looking for a suitable partner. Howard said he has turned women away because they stink. Robin said that the kiss might tell you about a level of commitment and genetic compatibility. Howard said sometimes you kiss too long and everyone starts stinking. Howard said you get dry mouth and stink. Robin said it matters to women more than men. Howard said he likes it. Howard said Fred is a big kisser. He said he sees him as a romantic. Fred said he does enjoy it. Robin said there are some tips for women. Robin said that if you want a guy to think you're a good kisser you open your mouth more. Robin said men prefer more tongue. Robin said they also say be aggressive with your tongue. Howard said women hate that. Robin sad they're telling women to do this. Robin said don't jam your tongue down a woman's throat. Robin read through some more suggestions for men and women.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how his dermatologist appointment went. Howard said it went fine. He said he's got nothing bad going on. He said the worst part is when the guy pulls his pants down to check his dick. Howard said that he can tell he wasn't impressed. Howard said he's been going to this guy for two years. He said his last one dropped dead. Howard said he was a nice guy too. Howard said Tom Chiusano turned him on to that guy. Howard said this new guy thought his penis was a mole and told him to have it removed. He said he had to tell him it's actually his penis. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how they found a gene that's linked to grey hair. Robin said she thought Fred would be interested in that.
Robin said that Sacha Baron Cohen was told not to show up as a character but he did and the Academy is upset with him. Howard said you can't tell him what to do. Howard said he loves that guy. Howard said it was one of the only interesting moments on the show. Robin had a clip of him at the Academy Awards. Howard said that was fun. Robin said he's getting criticized for his Asian references. Robin said Chris Rock is being criticized about bringing the Asian kids out to do a bit too.
Robin said that Kris Jenner was on the Ellen show promoting Keeping up with the Kardashians and talked about her ex Caitlyn Jenner. Robin had some audio from that interview.
Howard took a call from Balls who said Frampton was great today. He said he really came alive. Howard thanked him for the call and said Balls is writing his own jokes now. Howard did a live commercial read for Steven Singer Jewelers after that. Ronnie came in and showed a picture of the engagement ring he got for Stephanie from Steven Singer. Ronnie helped out with the commercial for a minute. He talked about how the place is full of hot chicks. Howard asked if you can get a lap dance there. Ronnie said he never asked.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump taking home 7 states on Super Tuesday. Robin said he says he will bring unity to the party after this process is over. Robin had some audio clips for Howard to play from Trump, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Ben Carson.
Robin read about people who are threatening to leave the country if Trump is elected. Howard said that he's voting for Trump if they're leaving. Robin said Jon Stewart is saying he'd rather leave the entire planet if he's elected. Robin said that Samuel L. Jackson says he's moving to South Africa if Trump is elected. Howard said Fred said he's moving to New Jersey if he's elected.
Robin read about Hillary Clinton having a good night last night. Howard said she must be breathing a sigh of relief. Howard said if she can't beat Bernie Sanders she's in trouble. Robin had some clips of her talking about her win.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Frampton took her back to 1976. She said there were so many great concerts back then. She said that she also had to congratulate Ronnie on his engagement. Howard let her go after that.
Robin had some audio of Bernie Sanders thanking his supporters in Vermont. Howard said he sounds worn out in that clip.
Robin said there's an article in the NY Times about a guy who was a member of Hamas and when they found out he might be gay he was tortured and killed. Howard said if you're gay don't join Hamas. Robin said he was a prime guy in the organization. Robin said he was married with kids.
Robin said they found that Osama Bin Laden had 5 wives and 20 children. Howard said the wives must have been pissed he gave his money to terrorism. Howard said the whole world has gone mad. He said 5 women married that guy.
Robin said they're saying that a Spider-Man in Times Square held a boy hostage until the dad paid a tip. Robin read a story about Justin Bieber turning 21 years old. Howard said he's going to celebrate by going out by egging a house.
Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Jon said he thinks that JD's thoughts on Peter Frampton's name were kind of glossed over today. Jon said they were in that meeting the other day and JD spent a good 10 minutes talking about it. Gary said they had this meeting and JD was talking about how he could live with that name. He said it's not a weird name to most of them. Gary said at one point JD just said ''Frampton... come on... Frampton.'' Gary said he thinks he was hearing something bizarre in his head but no one else was. Jon said JD thinks that name would be a hindrance of some sort but he thinks he's out of his mind. Gary said he tried to come up with other names like Bryan Cranston and Gwyneth Paltrow and he's never thought about those being weird. Jon said he likes that Gary is trying to come up with a good explanation for this.
Jon said there's something deeper there. He said maybe JD was teased over his name. Gary said there are so many other people with odd names that have been on the show. Rahsaan said he was trying to think of something that JD could be relating it to but he can't think of anything. Jon said that JD was saying that it's the F in the name that's part of it. He said he doesn't get that either. Jon said he as fascinated by the whole thing.
Jon said Peter Frampton was great on the show today. He said you could hear Howard being a fan boy today. He said Peter Frampton was playing with the best ever from the age of 18 on up. Gary said he is an amazing rock star who became a pop star. He said that wasn't what he set out to do. Gary said he hit on the head today when he talked about how he broke Carole King's record sales. He said Peter knew it was out of control after that.
Jon said that he was a rock guy and he ended up a pop star. He said he had legit rock cred. Gary said it's like Dane Cook. He said he ends up playing Madison Square Garden and people put him down for that but it's not his fault that people want to see him. Gary said that's what happened to Frampton.
Jon said they were talking about the live album and how it brings the music to another level. Gary said they used to say that about Springsteen. He said Frampton is right about playing live and how there is a joy when he does it. He said he had a smile on his face that was contagious.
Jon said that last performance of ''Do You Feel the Way We Do'' was one of the top 3 performances up there. Gary said they were all watching and listening and you have to give it some time to settle in but it does stand out. He said that Frampton is playing the acoustic guitar like an electric so it's something you have to watch. Jon said it was incredible to him. He said even if you're not a fan you can appreciate how talented a guy he was. Rahsaan said he gets it and he can see going out and getting to know his music after that. He said he's not a huge fan but he can see himself doing that.
Gary said that he has Frampton Comes Alive! in almost every format other than 8 Track. He said it's a staple of everyone's collection. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Jon said his kids are going through the job interview thing. He said you want to get it right. He said there are some basics you have to know to get it down. Gary said he has a friend who had to interview someone wearing sneakers. He said you never do that. Jon said he used to interview people for jobs. Gary said he used to interview the interns and that's where you get the most basic interviews. He said that some of them are just crazy and that's how they end up coming there. Jon said he won't judge based on clothing. He said that it's about your enthusiasm for the job. He said that can overcome a lot of shortcomings. Gary said showing up prepared is another thing. He said he worked for a traffic reporter and had to study the bridges and tunnels to help himself out with the interview. Jon said you should know stuff about the job and the company. Jon said if you have the knowledge you can impress someone.
Gary said he knew a guy who interviewed a woman who brought up that she was sexually harassed at her previous job and the guy didn't know if she was telling the truth or not but he's not going to hire her for fear of that happening there. Jon said he was once asked if he could change one thing about himself what it would be and he said ''nothing'' because he didn't know better.
Jon took a call from a guy who talked about how great the interview with Frampton was and how great Howard is at interviewing. Gary said Peter's manager has been with him 11 years and he was hearing stuff that he's never heard in those 11 years. Gary said if you listen to an interview that goes that long you're bound to hear something new. Gary said Howard is a fan but he doesn't approach it like he knows everything. He said he just wants to learn all he can.
Jon said if you're not a Frampton fan you get to know a lot about him. He said it's an odd experience hearing some of those stories. Gary said the acoustic thing is great because you get to hear songs the way you haven't heard them. He said it was a whole different thing with ''Do You Feel Like We Do'' today. He said he wasn't sure what to expect but it was great.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he went to Winterland where they recorded that Frampton album. He said that it was great. Gary said there are places that have a special meaning to people. The caller said that Winterland only held 5,400 people so it wasn't even 10,000. He said everything in there was wood. He said it wasn't concrete. He said the sound was so rich in that place. He said it was a magical time. Jon said that does make a huge difference in the sound. Jon said he likes seeing guys like that in a smaller venue like that. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she thought the interview was great. She said she was thinking about the interview he did with Madonna and how Howard relaxed her and got her to talk. She said it's like a one on one. She said Howard is so natural. Jon said there is an art to his interview skills. Jon said Howard does them all differently but his goal is to make the guest comfortable so they have a free flowing interview.
Jon said Howard and Robin have been together for 35 years today. Gary said they have a Sternthology coming up today and there is a lot of love between the two of them. Gary said there's a Wikipedia entry where Howard and Robin were with the show the longest and they showed Fred was out for a little while. Gary said he is fourth in line after them. He said Scott is right behind him. Jon said that they're there for another 5 years to keep it going too.
Jon said that Ronnie had a major change in his life yesterday. He said they started the show today talking about that. Jon said he thinks that there won't be a wedding but maybe a party for the two of them. Gary said he must have missed that part. Jon said Ronnie was saying yesterday he's not sure what they're going to do. Rahsaan said that they were going to do a love ceremony or something. Rahsaan said he thinks the reason Ronnie did it is because he felt pressured to do it yesterday. Gary said he obviously didn't think it was going to be yesterday but then Howard pressure him into it and he figured it was a good time to do it.
Jon said it is in motion now and people are asking when the bachelor party is. Gary said Howard said something to Ronnie about maybe starting it off without a bachelor party and Ronnie just grunted.
Jon said Howard was also priding himself on calling the election. He said that it sets up for an interesting next few months. Gary said you couldn't have two people on more opposite sides. Jon said they'll have to wait to see what happens. Gary asked if there is any scenario where they're not the candidates. Jon said no. Gary said he saw an article about how Cruz might have a chance if everyone hates Trump by tomorrow. Gary said it's going to be 8 months of this now. He said it's going to be insanity.
Jon said that Peter Frampton isn't in the hall of fame. Gary asked if that's true. Jon said he talked about it today and he didn't sound to happy about it. Gary said he thought he was in. He said he learned a lot about him today. He said Peter has been doing it for a long time at a high level and he's surprised he's not in.
Jon got in some plugs and wrapped up the show. They were done around 12:10pm.
Chris said Rahsaan is newly engaged and he has to have some sort of a plan going in. Rahsaan said it was smooth when he had her going into the closet but then it went wrong.
Gary said Ronnie thinks it's enough to just give her the ring. He said it's not enough. Chris said he thinks that they've established that this is a very special person Ronnie is with. He said you have to respect that. Chris said when he first heard it he thought it was a setup. He said he thought it was part of the plan. He said it was like a goof but you have to have someone there with flowers and all of that. He said get it out of his smelly sneaker doesn't work. Gary said he doesn't think that Ronnie knew that was the day he was going to get engaged. Chris said he's with him on that. Gary said he knew this was real. He said he knew not to pull jokes on Howard. He said he really thought he had something else planned. Gary said Ronnie didn't think the second half of the whole thing through.
Chris asked if he should have spoken to Howard about it. Gary said he doesn't think so. He said Ronnie should have said something to her about marrying him or loving her. He said he didn't have any of that. Gary said from there you can work your way up.
Gary said he'd like to know what Stephanie thinks. Rahsaan said he thinks she's happy. He said he thinks every woman wants to feel like a princess though. Chris said that's right. Chris said you have to go the extra mile with something like that. Gary said there is no real date on the horizon either. He said the bachelor party is what people are looking forward to. Chris said that is the thing that everyone is looking forward to. Gary said they want to take it on the road. He said they could do it in many different cities and end up back in New York. Chris said if there is a bachelor party Howard probably won't be there more than an hour. They went to break after that.
Gary said when he got married it was supposed to be Mary's day but there was a lot of show activity going on. He said Jackie wanted to get a hold of his shoes so when he knelt down it said ''Save Me'' on the bottom. He said that would be funny if it was in a movie but not in the real thing.
Chris took a call from a guy who said he wants to defend Ronnie a little bit. He said he had been married before himself and he's got an age gap like Ronnie. He said he thought he had the corniest proposal ever since Ronnie. He said it may not have been the best but it is nerve wracking doing that in front of so many people. He said maybe nerves was a big part of it. Gary said he agrees but you have to finish. Rahsaan said all he had to say was ''Will you marry me? I love you.''
Gary said he's never understood people who hold on to a ring for a long time before asking. Rahsaan said he had the ring for a year. He said he got it from her uncle and he kept it around so she wouldn't expect it. Gary said that's understandable but with some guys it's not.
Chris took a call from a guy who said he stayed engaged for 5 years with his wife and she almost left him because of that. Chris said that's just stupid on his part. The caller said he thinks that could happen to Ronnie. Gary said he thinks she'd stay with Ronnie no matter what. He said he doesn't think this is a thing that he had to do. Chris said he doesn't think it's going to be drawn out. Gary said it won't happen in a year. Gary said he and his wife got married so fast people thought his wife was pregnant. He said they were engaged in March and got married in July of the same year. He said it was a big wedding too. He said it's not that hard to get married fast.
Chris took a call from a guy who said how dare Gary comment on someone's engagement with that 45 minute tape he has out there. Gary asked what it has to do with the other. He said they're two different things. The caller said at least Ronnie gave it up. They went to break a short time later.
Chris took a call from a guy who said he wants to give Gary some accolades. He said the show wouldn't have happened without Gary being all over it. Gary said it's an amazing team. He said everyone on the show is there for a reason. The caller said the thing about Ronnie is that he went to Stephanie and asked if she likes ''the fucking ring'' and he thought that was really rude. Gary said that's just their relationship. Gary said that didn't bother him. He said if Howard hadn't done what he did then instead of being half assed it would have been full assed. Gary said 20 years ago Howard wouldn't have known what to say. He said he has changed over the years and now he does know what to say.
Chris said Tina Fey was on this week. He said she hadn't been on for a long time before the last time she was on a couple of months ago. He said she's becoming a regular and he can't get enough of her. Gary said he watched her new movie and she's really good in it. Gary said it looks good for them and he just loves her so he's psyched to see her when she is there. Chris said she's funny, hot and she married a guy who is 5'2'' tall. Gary said she won him over when she sold like 4 million copies of her audio book. Gary said he loves that too. Rahsaan said she is one of the funniest women around and she seems like the girl next door type too. Gary said she's like one of the guys and you think she can just hang.
Chris said the other thing was Robert Smigel who was replayed this morning. He said he thinks Howard respects him a lot too. He said that Smigel will go the extra mile with what he does. He said he'll always push the limits. Gary said they love a lot of what he's done. He said he started to talk about the Shatner sketch he wrote for Saturday Night Live that was legendary. He said it was one where Shatner was hosting and he goes to a Star Trek convention and he tells the people to ''get a life'' and get out of their parent's basement.
Chris said Howard always talks about wanting to be involved in other projects but he doesn't usually do it. He said he sounded very interested in the Ambiguously Gay Duo on Broadway thing. Gary said he thinks Howard sees doing something like that but then he sees the year of work that it would involve. He said Howard isn't afraid of hard work but he's already doing it. He said maybe 25 years ago he might have done it. Chris asked Gary if he thinks that he'd invest in it or anything like that. Gary said nope. He said if his name is on it he can't just be in the background. Rahsaan said he thinks that if Howard wasn't doing radio then maybe he'd do something. Gary said Howard would rather paint right now.
Chris took a call from a guy who said this term genius floats around a lot lately. He asked if he has noticed with artists and musicians the term is typically applied to people who haven't achieved. He said the term is used frivolously. He said it's used with people who don't have a lot of mainstream success. Gary said he thinks everybody's use of the term is different. He said sometimes it's used to describe people who do something they can't do. Chris said when you realize the genius of comedy you realize they have to be different. Gary said he thinks they'll look back on Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and see them in the future how funny they were. He said he thinks it'll be the same way with the people on Saturday Night Live.
Chris wrapped up the show a short time later. They were done around 11:55am.
Gary said the odd thing about Michael is that he breaks your balls and you don't know that initially. He said that he'll give you a hard time about something and you don't know if it's real or not. He said he used to avoid him when he saw him in the lobby.
Jon asked if Adam is upset that he didn't make the cut for the Ghostbusters trailer. Adam said he doesn't mind at all. He said the trailer is great.
Jon said they heard the Ronnie Mund penis ring thing and more. Jon asked if he should have a rider for all of his upcoming appearances and if he will wait to get married. Jon asked if Sal will get an invite to his wedding. Gary said what's lost in all of this is how the Flat Ronnie is catching on. He said he thinks he's minutes away from showing up at a presidential debate or something like that. He said Ronnie is a hot commodity right now. Jon said it is his moment in the sun. He said he's engaged, Rahsaan is engaged and so is he. Jon said they'll talk about all of that and Gary the Conqueror and about Wack History Month which is this month.
Jon asked Gary who he thinks won't be invited to Ronnie's wedding celebration. Gary said maybe Scott. He said he thinks he'll be there though. He said he's not sure who won't be invited. Gary said he's not sure how far to get into it. Gary said they have a staff of about 50. He said he's not sure who won't make it. He said there will be one person who gets fucked over. He said that will suck for that person.
Jon said they talk about these levels of hierarchy on the show. He asked if Benjy will get an invite to the festivities. Rahsaan said it depends on if Ronnie wants to deal with that. Gary said that Benjy isn't really a friend of Ronnie's. He said the thing about Benjy is that he lives in his own world. He said he doesn't socialize with the rest of them. He said if you're not that good a friend of the guys maybe he won't be invited.
Jon said Ronnie is getting older and how many years does it take off if he purchases a penis ring and uses it. Adam said anything you put on your cock that's not a mouth he has a lot of respect for. He said it shows you're adventurous. He said he thinks maybe he did it trying to relate to younger kids or what. He said he's wondering if he'll wear one at the wedding. Jon asked if they would have that as a wedding favor. Gary said he thinks they have better taste than that. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said he knows Robin was disgusted when they used to do their Scores trips. He said he thinks she came with them once but she stayed outside. He said Robin said they act differently at those places. Gary said they were on KLSX and they went to a strip club once. He said they had a sushi bar in the back and it was just weird.
Gary said they used to be out at Scores and they had lobster and steak and then you hear the song that brings the girls in and they'd come in from two different directions. He said they had a pre-show. Gary said the thing that was hysterically funny was the girls coming in and meeting the guys. He said they'd see who connected. Gary said they had one guy who had just black girls and one had only Asian girls. Adam said you learn a lot about people there. Gary said you really do.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie is going to invite someone to the bachelor party that won't be invited to the wedding. Gary said he has had that happen to him. He said that might work for this situation. He said he can see Benjy at the party and not at the wedding.
Jon said Ronnie talked about doing a tour for his bachelor party. Adam said he has to bring it if he does that. He said he has to do it big in every city. Gary said he thinks she should just do L.A. and New York.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how Ronnie would handle it if someone got obnoxious and yelled ''Lets fuck some whores!'' at his wedding. Gary said that Ronnie could be the one who ends up doing it. He said he has a picture of Ronnie at a party Howard and Beth put on once. He said Ronnie is on the stage in a throne wearing a king's crown with no shirt on. He said he's drunk as shit. Gary said at his own wedding he'd love to see how he acts in front of Stephanie's parents or grandparents. Gary said he thinks Ronnie is that what you see is what you get kind of guy so he might just act like he does all the time. They went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think the amount of money Ronnie gets for his wedding will be discussed on the air. Gary said yes. He said Howard absolutely boosted sales at his wedding. He said that he went through everyone asking what they were giving. He said that is one of the great discussions on the air.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he's the only one noticing that this engagement was a bit. He said he's never heard Stephanie call into the show before. He said it sounded set up to him. Gary said it wasn't a bit. He said that they were talking to Howard off the air and they actually called Stephanie about the cock ring to find out what she was thinking about that. He said she's off of work after having an operation so she was home. He said they had no idea the engagement was coming.
Jon said Gary has a story about Benjy and a faux pas he made at Scores. Gary said they went into this room after eating once and they were in a party room. He said you walk up a couple of steps, the same steps that Fred fell down and almost died from, and there's a small area. He said people are coming down from this area and people are hot and soaking wet. He said they went and got Lonnie and he turns the lights on. He said Benjy has wedged his whole fat body against the air conditioner intake so there's no air going in. He said it was a complete buzz kill.
Adam told a story about going to a strip club and seeing a guy on stage with 3 girls and all three were snacking on something on the guy.
Jon asked Rahsaan if it bothers him that all of this focus is on Ronnie and not on him. Rahsaan said it is bullshit. He said that he's not being talked about so he gets more money. He said his wedding is in L.A. though. Gary said he can invite more people who won't be able to go. Rahsaan said they do have some of those invitations going out.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he would ever go to a sushi bar where they serve it on a naked woman. Gary said he finds it demeaning to the woman so he would never do that.
Jon said this month is Wack History Month and he was thinking about the people who hold down jobs who are in the Wack Pack. He said that Gary the Conqueror and Elephant Boy have held down jobs the longest. Gary said he's surprised that Wendy doesn't have a job. He said she'd be perfect bagging groceries. Jon said she has tried very hard. He said he was with her down in Florida and she had a tough time finding a job. Adam said maybe eating sushi off of her is a job.
Jon asked what kind of job she should apply for. He said she loves Mountain Dew and cats. Adam said maybe she could vlog about Mountain Dew flavors with her cats around her.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a huge Adam Ray fan. He told one of his jokes and it didn't go over very well so Adam thanked him for butchering his 5 year old joke and making him look not funny. Jon wrapped up after that and gave him some plugs. Adam said his mom does the same thing with his jokes and completely butchers them.
Jon wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 12:05pm.